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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The House of Helen, by Corra Harris
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
-most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
-of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll
-have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using
-this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The House of Helen
-
-Author: Corra Harris
-
-Release Date: August 25, 2019 [EBook #60169]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOUSE OF HELEN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Tim Lindell, David E. Brown, and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
-file was produced from images generously made available
-by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE HOUSE
- OF HELEN
-
- CORRA HARRIS
-
-
-
-
- THE
- HOUSE OF HELEN
-
-
- BY
-
- CORRA HARRIS
-
- AUTHOR OF “A DAUGHTER OF ADAM,” “THE EYES OF LOVE,”
- “MY SON,” “HAPPILY MARRIED,” “A CIRCUIT RIDER’S
- WIFE,” “THE RECORDING ANGEL,” ETC.
- AND IN COLLABORATION WITH FAITH HARRIS LEECH:
- “FROM SUNUP TO SUNDOWN”
-
- [Illustration]
-
- NEW YORK
- GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1923,
- BY GEORGE H. DORAN COMPANY
-
- [Illustration]
-
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1922, 1923,
- BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
-
-
- THE HOUSE OF HELEN. II
-
- PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
-
-
-
-
-PART ONE
-
-
-
-
-THE
-
-HOUSE OF HELEN
-
-
-
-
-PART ONE
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-The town of Shannon lay like a wreath flung wide upon the hills above
-one of those long, green, fertile valleys to be seen everywhere below
-the Blue Ridge Mountains in North Georgia. It was nothing like a city,
-merely a neat, little town built by thrifty people since the Civil
-War. Therefore, there were no colonial residences in it to remind you
-of the strutting, magnificent past, but the houses in it were smaller,
-painted any color that pleased the fancy, ruffled from end to end, with
-spindle-legged porches and scalloped gables. White church spires stuck
-up out of it like the forefingers of faith in God. There was a town
-square, around which business was done comfortably and leisurely on a
-credit basis.
-
-The red-brick courthouse stood in this square, with a long, wide
-flight of white cement steps to it, showing like the teeth of the law;
-not that any one minded these teeth. The dome of this courthouse was
-covered with galvanized tin. It shone above the tufted trees on bright
-days like an immense silver helmet. And beneath this helmet there was
-the town clock, a good, old man with a plain, round face with only
-the wrinkles that marked the hours on it. Half the men in Shannon who
-carried watch chains carried no watches because this clock was so
-infallibly faithful to the sun.
-
-At the time of which I write no one in Shannon called the narrow or
-even the wide spaces, which separated their respective homes from the
-street, a lawn. It was the “front yard,” and usually divided with a
-picket fence from the back yard, where the hens attended to business.
-Flowers, of the kind in service to “ladies” who wear aprons and do
-their own work and have an artless affection for blooming things,
-inhabited these front yards, regardless of law and order in the matter
-of background or perspective. The forsythia, syringas, roses and
-altheas had been planted with reference to their health in relation
-to the sun, and, whatever happened, they bloomed. Only the smaller
-plants, like annuals, were sternly disciplined. They stood up in beds
-or along the graveled walks, like spelling classes in a properly graded
-school, every one of them reciting a bloom after the manner of its kind.
-
-These ladies of Shannon also kept “potted plants” and exchanged
-cuttings. It is only after you have ceased to be thrifty and have
-become rich that you imprison your flowers in a conservatory or a
-greenhouse. Shannon reached this scandalous pinnacle of prosperity
-years later, but at this time there was what may be called miniature
-“bleachers” on the front porches in Shannon where red and pink and
-white geraniums doubled up gorgeous fists of bloom, and fuchsias hung
-their waxened bells in the breeze, and begonias flaunted their rich,
-dark leaves, and that unspeakably gross and hardy vine, the Wandering
-Jew, wandered at will.
-
-These flower-laden bleachers were especially characteristic of Wiggs
-Street, because this was the principal residence street of Shannon. And
-it was all a family affair. The nieces of the geraniums on Mrs. Adams’
-porch bloomed on the porch of the Cutter home across the way. And Mrs.
-Adams had obtained the root of her sword fern from Mrs. Cutter, and so
-on and so forth. You might multiply it by the seeds or shoots or roots
-of ten thousand flowers.
-
-This was why Shannon showed like a wreath on the hills above the
-valley. The women there were diligent. They loved their homes. So their
-front yards looked like flowered calico aprons, tied onto these homes
-as their own aprons were tied about their plump waists. The women were
-very good; the men were reasonably respectable. There was ambition
-without culture. But give them time. Already Mr. George William Cutter
-had sent his son, young George William, to college for two years. That
-ought to amount to something, culturally speaking. And Mrs. Mary Anne
-Adams was considering whether she could afford to send her daughter
-Helen to a boarding school for a year, or whether she would leave Helen
-to take her chances at George with only a high-school education and her
-music and a little drawing for accomplishments! But if she did decide
-to send Helen “off to school,” it ought to amount to a great deal more,
-culturally speaking. Girls acquire the gloss of elegance and refinement
-more rapidly than boys do, and it is apt to stay on them longer, no
-matter what stays in them.
-
-The first definite upward trend in a tacky little town begins when
-some insolently prosperous citizen sends his suburban-bred son to
-college just long enough for him to claim that he is a “college man,”
-and when some valorous mother, usually a widow, follows suit and sends
-her daughter to a “seminary,” because she is not to be outdone by the
-above-mentioned prosperous citizen, even if she is not prosperous. When
-these two young beings return with their intellectual noses in the air,
-you may look out. The scenes in that town must change.
-
-Business gets a hunch, or somebody’s business goes into bankruptcy.
-The domestic sphere spins around, loses its ancient balance and the
-girl gives a really fashionable tea party, after removing the precious
-potted plants from the front porch and placing her tables there, if it
-is a pleasant day. These things happen and you cannot help it. Give
-them an inch of education abroad and they will take an ell of license
-with your manners, convictions, and prejudices when they come home.
-
-Nothing like this had yet happened in Shannon. Only drummers and
-salesmen really knew and saw what was going on in the world, and no
-drummers or salesmen lived there. The town was passing tranquilly
-through its religious and golden-oak periods. Most people went to
-church, and everybody who was anybody had golden-oak furniture,
-including an upright piano, as distinguished from the antiquated square
-piano. If the latter was for the present beyond their means, they had
-an elaborately carved and bracketed organ of the same durable wood,
-through which the Sabbath-afternoon air passed in hymnal strains at
-about the same hour it bore the aroma of boiling coffee on week days.
-
-This is a mere flash of what Shannon was in those days; such an
-impression as you might have received from the window of your car if
-you had been passing through on one of those fast trains that did not
-stop at Shannon, but roared by as if this little town did not exist.
-And if you knew all that was to happen there within the next twenty
-years to only two people, not to mention the remaining six thousand
-of her inhabitants, to whom a great deal more must have happened,
-you would agree that I am justified in detaining you a moment before
-beginning this tale.
-
-Otherwise, how could you understand that Helen belonged by tradition,
-by environment, by the very petunias that bordered her mother’s flower
-beds, to the Agnes tribe of meek and enduring women. I am not claiming
-that this is a wiser, abler tribe than the numerous modern tribes of
-insurgent women, many of whom have faced the same emergencies. I leave
-each one of you to decide that question according to your lights,
-leaving out the traditions and the petunias, because doubtless you have
-long since made way with them.
-
-My task is simply to set down here exactly what happened, with no more
-regard for the moral than the facts themselves carry. And so I give
-you my word that this is a true story, and that the events I have
-recorded did happen and that the “House of Helen” does stand to this
-day in Shannon. You may see it from the window of your car, as you
-pass through, halfway down Wiggs Street, on the right-hand side, and
-facing you. It is not so large, so pretentious as the other residences
-which have taken the place of the cottages that stood along this street
-during the golden-oak period, but it looks different, that house,
-serene, as a house should that has weathered the storm and has fair
-weather forever within.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-It was a day in June, in the year 1902. They are much the same
-everywhere, only in Georgia there is more June in such a day. Farther
-south the withering heat hints of July; farther north there may be an
-edge of cold to the air; but in Georgia it is always perfectly June
-in June, all softness, fragrance, filled with the fearless growth and
-bloom of every living thing--the sort of day that seems to hum to
-itself with the wings of a thousand bees; adolescent weather, fragrant,
-soft, filled with the growth and yearning of every living thing from
-the frailest flower that blooms to the oldest tree and the oldest man.
-
-On such a day this story begins, somewhere between half past three and
-four o’clock in the afternoon. The exact moment makes no difference
-because nothing that you could see with the naked eye happened when the
-first scene was laid. (It is only the comedies and crimes of living
-that catch the eye. The great dramas and the great tragedies begin
-within, and they end there.) The town was somnambulent--very little
-traffic; none at all on Wiggs Street. You could only have known by
-the gentle bending of the frailer-stemmed flowers before the cottages
-on either side that even a breeze was passing by. But over all this
-stillness and piercing this droning silence came the notes of a piano,
-sad, sweet and frequently too far apart, as if this piano waited
-patiently while the performer found the next note, and then found it
-again on the keyboard. These desiccated fragments of Narcissus, a
-popular instrumental piece at that time, issued from the parlor windows
-of the Adams cottage. Some one, who had no ear for music, but only a
-conscience, was practicing inside.
-
-Presently this conscience was satisfied, for the lid of the piano went
-down with a thud. There was a quick step, the whisk of white skirts in
-the darkened hall, the opening and closing of a door, followed by what
-we must infer was a sort of primping silence.
-
-Then a voice, firm and maternal, came through the front bedroom window
-on that side of the house: “Helen, why are you wearing your organdie?”
-
-“I don’t know, mother,” a young voice answered.
-
-I doubt if she did know. Some of the shrewdest acts of a maiden are
-unintelligible to her.
-
-“Well, it is silly, putting on your nice things to go to choir
-practice.”
-
-It was silly, but one frequently makes the silliest preparations for
-happiness. This is the wisdom of youth. Age cannot beat it.
-
-After a pause, the same elder voice, made smoother--“Have you seen
-George?”
-
-“Not in two years. Why?”
-
-“He has been at home a week, hasn’t he?”
-
-“I don’t know when he came.”
-
-The tone implied that the comings and goings of this George were
-matters of supreme indifference to her.
-
-“Mrs. Cutter told me his father means for him to work this summer.”
-
-No response.
-
-“He had three months in the University School of Finance last summer,
-she told me. This summer his father plans to put him through, she said.”
-
-Still no response.
-
-“Don’t forget to call for my pass book at the bank, Helen,” this was
-said in a slightly higher key, indicating that the girl had left the
-room. “You had better go by the bank on your way to the church. It
-closes at four o’clock.”
-
-“Yes, mother;” and at the same moment this young girl came out of the
-house, down the steps, walking hurriedly.
-
-When she reached the street she began to move more sedately, giving
-herself an air. Her ankles were slim; her black satin pumps had low
-French heels. She wore a white organdie. The fineness, tucks and lace
-of her petticoat showed through the full skirt. The bodice was plain,
-finished at the neck with an edge of lace, and gathered puffily in at
-the belt. The fineness, tucks and lace of an underbody clung daintily
-to her shoulders and showed through. The sleeves were short. Her arms
-round and very fair. A wide taffeta ribbon sash of pale blue, crushed
-crinklingly about her waist, was tied in a butterfly bow behind, very
-stiff and upstanding.
-
-She wore a broad-brimmed, white leghorn hat, trimmed with tiny bunches
-of field flowers. This hat was tilted slightly to one side, as if she
-lacked the courage to pull it down, lest she should reveal more than
-she dared tell of what she was and meant. It rested, therefore, at the
-merest, most innocent angle of coquetry.
-
-The girl herself was utterly and entrancingly fair. She had straight
-hair, of the shade called ash blond; no deeper golden lights in it;
-most of it hidden beneath the encompassing hat. If you found it,
-you must do so by an act of the imagination. And the absurd primness
-with which it lay so close and smoothly above her ears teased the
-imagination. Her skin was white, with that underglow of pink so faint
-it could scarcely be called color--cheeks round, not too full. The oval
-chin had the softness of youth. She had a mouth made for silence; it
-was serious. The under lip was a straight pink line, prettily turned,
-which did not go very far; the upper lip was distinctly full in the
-center, with a sort of flute there which ended in a dainty, pointed,
-white scallop beneath the nose, and it closed purposefully over the
-lower lip. This was due to the fact that if she was not mindful, it let
-go, curled up and showed the only flaw she had--two lovely teeth, a
-trifle prominent because they lapped at the lower edge after the manner
-of some Anglo-Saxon ancestor from whom she must have inherited them.
-Her nose might amount to something later in life as an indication of
-character, but now it was merely a good little nose, rounded at the end
-where it should have been pointed, and too brief for beauty.
-
-The eyes were this girl’s distinguishing feature. They remained so long
-after all her loveliness and fairness had changed and failed. They
-were large, blue, white-lidded, heavily fringed with lashes darker than
-her hair. And they looked at you, at him, at all the world and the
-weather, calmly, from beneath long, sweeping brows, as if these brows
-were the slender wings of the thoughts she had when she looked at you.
-
-This is what a girl is, and nothing more--loveliness, innocence, and
-the wordless sweet desire of herself. You cannot predict her. Anything
-may change her; one thing only is certain--she is sure to change.
-The woman will be profoundly different. This is why writers of mere
-fiction have discarded the young girl heroine. Nothing can make her
-interesting but a tragedy, until she develops her human perversities
-and attributes, which may require more years than the tale can afford.
-
-Helen walked sedately through Wiggs Street, as if every window of every
-house was an eye that observed her. But when she came to the end,
-where this street entered the public square, her gait changed, much as
-your voice changes inflection according to the tune you sing. This was
-a livelier tune now to which she walked. She stepped along briskly,
-prettily. Her skirts whisked, her body swayed a little as if this might
-turn out to be a waltz. Every shop window she passed was a mirror, in
-which she caught an encouraging glimpse of herself. Once she halted
-long enough to draw the brim of her hat forward and sidewise. Then she
-went on, the published truth of herself at last. And her own mother
-would not have known her.
-
-Few mothers, even in that prunes-and-prism period, relatively speaking,
-would have recognized their daughters abroad. But every man would. It
-is Nature having her way, you understand, and no harm done; because in
-the end these maidens must--and they will--take Nature, which after all
-is the very nearest relative of maidenhood, into their confidence and
-be guided by her.
-
-The First National Bank of Shannon was no great institution. Still
-it was modestly conspicuous. What I mean is that you could tell at a
-glance and from a distance that this was a bank, not a doctor’s office,
-by the tall cement columns in front, the only example of four-legged
-magnificence in the shakily diversified architecture surrounding this
-square.
-
-But Mr. George William Cutter would never have thought of exalting
-himself in a private office with a ground glass door, showing the title
-“President,” published on this door. He sat at a rolled-top desk in
-a space reserved for him to the left of the door, by a stout oaken
-banister which divided it from the lobby. The only distinction he
-permitted himself was to sit with his back to the window which looked
-on the square. What was more to the point he faced the long cage of
-the bank proper, and was always in a position to see, know or at least
-shrewdly infer what was going on inside and outside in the lobby.
-
-But if you were a customer, seeking a loan or even planning to open
-an account, you must come in and face about before you could face the
-president. There was dignity, financial assurance, but no offensive
-pride, in his sitting posture to the public. He was a man with a
-recognized girth, not entirely bald. His hair was gray; so was his
-short, clipped mustache. He wore light gray clothes in summer and
-dark gray clothes in the winter. And he had a fine strong commercial
-countenance. He might almost have cashed it, his face was so well
-certified by a pair of shrewd gray eyes, as distinguished from the
-cunning of similar eyes.
-
-On this June afternoon he sat reared back, his coat thrust clear of the
-wide expanse of his white shirt front, like the wings of an old gray
-rooster cocked up on a hot day. He was smoking a black cigar. From time
-to time he shot a glance into the cage of the bank; and each time the
-corners of his mouth went up, the fired end of the cigar also went up,
-his eyes narrowed to a mere gray slit of light as sharp as a lance, and
-his whole face crinkled into an expression of humor and satisfaction.
-Sometimes an experienced turfman so regards a young and mettlesome
-colt that is being broken to the gait, when the colt acts up to his
-breeding, takes the bit and goes, even if he does waste wind and sweat
-in the performance.
-
-Directly in line with his vision a tall, broad-shouldered young man was
-standing before an adding machine in his shirt sleeves. This was George
-William Cutter, Junior, inducted into the rear end of the banking
-business a week since. He was working furiously with the halting
-earnestness of a man not accustomed to grind up figures in a machine
-and pedal them out on a long strip of paper with his foot. His hair was
-red and stood up like a torch on his head. His mouth was warped, his
-nose snarled, his face was flushed and there was an angry squint in his
-red brown eyes as he struck the keys, jerked the lever and slammed the
-pedal once in so often--forty little movements that kept the muscles of
-his big body in a sort of frivolous activity.
-
-Mr. Cutter, Senior, was thinking: “He’s got it in him, the go. He will
-make good if he can be made to stick. Ought to marry, ought’er marry
-right now. That would stamp him down to it.”
-
-What young George was thinking as he paused to mop his steaming brow
-was: “Gad! If three days in here takes it out of a fellow like this,
-what will thirty years do to him?”
-
-He knew that he was being groomed to succeed his father. It might be a
-bright future for a young man, but as a human being it held no brighter
-prospect than escaping from this cage and sitting where his father
-sat now, fat and sedentary in all his habits. He was restless. He was
-red-headed. He was an athlete on the university team. There had been
-some question about whether he should take his final year. He would let
-the “old man” know that he was willing and anxious to go back to the
-university in the fall. He was not ready to be imprisoned for life with
-dollars, not yet!
-
-At this moment the street door, that had admitted everybody all day
-from the leading merchants, workers, widows, all the way down to the
-fat woman who kept the fruit stand, opened again. A young girl came in.
-It was as if spring and snow and sweetness had entered. There was so
-much whiteness and coolness in the presence she made. A mere hint of
-far-off blue skies, and as if Nature had granted her the flowers she
-wore on this hat. She passed the teller’s window, also the cashier’s
-window. She looked neither to the right nor the left. The white scallop
-in the pink upper lip was pressed primly, holding it, like a word she
-would not say, upon the round pink under lip. She came directly to the
-bookkeeper’s window, faced it, stared at him and waited.
-
-When she entered he had made three steps backward, which brought him to
-the wall behind him. He was conscious of being without his coat. But if
-you are a man in a bank you are not supposed to scamper out of sight
-like a lady in negligee, if some one comes to call. You stood your
-ground with dignity, no matter how you looked. He stood his; he did not
-move a muscle. He may have breathed, but if so it was no more than a
-secret breath merely to sustain life. Their eyes met; his filled with
-the fire of an amazement, hers calm and speechless. She regarded him as
-one regards a picture on the wall.
-
-This was all that happened, lasting no longer than the instant of time
-required for the bookkeeper to look up, see her and slide himself with
-one step like a little, thin-necked, bald-headed, stooped-shouldered
-fact before the window, blotting out the vision of her.
-
-Young Cutter heard her murmur something, saw the bookkeeper draw a
-pass book from a stack of these dingy records and slide it beneath the
-wicket of the window.
-
-He heard her say “thank you” in a faint, soft, bell-like voice. Then
-she turned and went out.
-
-He stared about him. How was this? He expected a wave of excitement
-to mark her passing, as people exclaim at the sight of something
-ineffable. Had no one seen her but himself? Apparently not. Every man
-in there was working with his usual air of absorption. For another
-instant he stood free, exalted, his eyes filled with the explosive
-brightness of a great emotion. Then it faded into self-consciousness, a
-downward look as he sneaked back to his machine, hoping that he had not
-been observed.
-
-This is the only kind of modesty of which men are capable. If one of
-them went out with this look of neighing valor on his face he would
-be arrested, of course, because it is such a perfectly scandalous
-expression. But if a maid walks abroad with love published in her eyes
-and on her very lips, you are moved to reverence, because it is a sort
-of piety which seems to sanctify her.
-
-He bent lower over his task, shot the lever down with a bang, struck
-the pedal harshly and rhythmically--made a noise, implying that he was
-and had been, without interruption, wholly engrossed with this business.
-
-“Remember her, George?” came his father’s voice like a shot out of a
-clear sky.
-
-“Who?” asked George, instantly on his guard.
-
-“The girl that came in just now.”
-
-“I didn’t notice. Who was she?”
-
-“Helen Adams.”
-
-“Never should have recognized her.” This was the truth. He had
-recognized only loveliness, not the maiden name of it.
-
-“Last time you saw her she was a long-legged, saucer-faced youngster,
-wearing her hair plaited and tied with a blue ribbon, I reckon.”
-
-“That’s the way I remember little Helen,” George admitted, grinning.
-
-“Two years make a lot of difference in a girl of that age. Pretty,
-ain’t she?”
-
-The young man did not answer. He was suddenly and unaccountably
-annoyed. When your whole mind is concentrated on a girl, she becomes
-your religion and you do not care to enter into a doctrinal discussion
-of this religion with another man, not even your old, gray-haired
-father, because she has become the sacred silence of your own soul, no
-matter what or who she was yesterday, nor even if you never had so much
-as a twinge of soul until this moment. You practically invent your soul
-then and there out of the joy and daylight of your youth, because it is
-the only place suitable for such a creature to occupy. Let Moses and
-the prophets stand aside! This is your pagan period of vestal virgins;
-not that you know it, but it is.
-
-Mr. Cutter stood up, produced a heavy gold watch, studied the face of
-it, grinned, jerked his coat down and around, buttoned one button of
-it by the hardest work and reached for his hat. “Well, George, I guess
-you’ll finish before you quit,” he said.
-
-This was a hint. The son took it. “All right, sir. I’ll be along about
-midnight,” he answered good-naturedly, at the same time making a wry
-face.
-
-“Oh, you’ll probably get in before suppertime. The work will come
-easier in a day or two,” the father retorted as he stalked out.
-
-He was scarcely out of sight before the cashier, teller and bookkeeper
-followed in quick procession.
-
-George was now alone. He changed his scene instantly, as most people
-do when they are left alone. He straightened up, started smoking, moved
-directly into the current of the electric fan, folded his arms and
-thought profoundly, his head lifted, eyes fixed in a noble gaze, as
-if on no particular object; a heroic figure, blowing volumes of smoke
-through his nose.
-
-What a young man thinks in this mood may be imagined, but it never can
-be known. And the writer does not live with the wisdom or grace to
-translate his deep, singing dumbness into words.
-
-Presently he went back to his task, working now with swiftness and
-concentration, as if his whole future depended upon finishing what he
-was doing in the shortest possible time. He finished in thirty minutes,
-disappeared into the rear of the bank and reappeared five minutes
-later through the side door. He was brushed, groomed and freshened
-to the last degree of elegance. His homespun fitted him with an air.
-He stepped with a long, prideful stride--and got no farther than the
-corner of the next street. Here he halted, looking all possible ways at
-once--nobody in sight; plenty of people, you understand, but not the
-girl. He had seen her pass this corner.
-
-He waited. Wherever she had gone, she should be returning by this
-time. This one and that one hailed him as they went by. A fellow he
-knew stopped and engaged him in conversation. He was annoyed. Suppose
-the girl appeared, how was he to escape from this ass? The ass finally
-took in the situation and moved on, looking back as he turned the next
-corner.
-
-George looked at his watch--after five! She certainly should be going
-home by this time. Everybody in sight was on his way home. Suppose he
-had missed her; suppose she had gone around the other way! Jumping
-cats, what a fool he had been, wasting time here! He started off,
-walking rapidly but still with that magnificent, stiff-legged strut.
-
-Some one came alongside, caught his arm and whirled him half around.
-“Where you going in such a hurry, Cutter?”
-
-This was Charley Harman, a friend, but this was no time for friends to
-be butting in.
-
-“Home,” said George briefly, by way of implying that he was not
-inviting company home with him.
-
-“So am I, but I never walk fast when I’m going home. Let’s get a drink
-in here”; halting as they came opposite a drug store.
-
-“Take one for me,” Cutter said with a short laugh and moved on so
-hurriedly that Harman took the hint.
-
-Nothing else happened until he reached the place where Wiggs Street
-opened on the square. He stared down the flower-blooming vista of this
-street. He could see men watering their front yards and the women
-watering their flowers. He could hear the boom of his father’s voice
-half a block down, talking to some one in the next yard. He saw Mrs.
-Adams sitting, large and amorphous, in a rocking-chair on her front
-porch. He supposed that she also was waiting for Helen.
-
-Then he saw her approaching from the other end of the street, not
-distant, but divided from him by the eyes of all these people sitting
-and puttering around in their front yards. He thought she walked as if
-she were sad or good or something. And he had this consolation, as she
-finally turned in and went up the steps of the Adams’ cottage, he was
-sure that she had seen him. He was sure that their eyes had met. He
-also observed when he came down into the street to his own home that
-she had not stopped on the porch with her mother, but had gone directly
-inside.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-When you are in love, everything is important and everything is secret.
-You become a consummate actor and liar in vain, because the whole world
-knows your secret almost as soon as you do.
-
-That evening at the dinner table, George was so gay, so full of
-himself, so ready to laugh and make a joke that Mrs. Cutter was beside
-herself with pride and happiness.
-
-“He is such a good boy, so unconscious of his good looks and his
-intellect,” she told Mr. Cutter when they were alone together after
-dinner.
-
-“Intellect!” said Mr. Cutter in that tone of voice.
-
-“Yes; you know how smart he is; but he is not the least conceited, just
-light-hearted and happy as he should be at his age. I say it shows he
-is a good boy.”
-
-“Where is he now?” Mr. Cutter wanted to know.
-
-The question appeared to Mrs. Cutter to be irrelevant. She said she did
-not know; why?
-
-“Nothing,” answered her husband.
-
-She said he was around somewhere, probably in his room. She went to the
-bottom of the stairs. “Georgie!” she called.
-
-No answer. Well, then he must be out front somewhere, and went to prove
-that he was. But she could not find him. Then she came back and wanted
-to know of Mr. Cutter what difference did it make, if they did not know
-where he was? George was no longer a child. Couldn’t he trust his own
-son?
-
-Oh, yes; in reason he could and did trust him. “But I’ll tell you
-one thing, Maggie,” he added, laying aside his paper and looking her
-squarely in the face, “George should get married.”
-
-“Married; just as he is ready to enjoy his youth and not even out
-of the university yet--and only twenty-one. What do you mean?” she
-demanded indignantly.
-
-“That a blaze-faced horse and a red-headed man are both vain things for
-safety,” he retorted.
-
-“Do you know anything wrong about George?” she demanded, after a
-gasping pause.
-
-“No.”
-
-“A single thing?”
-
-“Not a single thing. I was merely stating a natural fact.”
-
-She had risen, a little, slim, fiery-eyed woman. She drew herself up.
-He watched her ascend. He refused to quail beneath the spark in her eye.
-
-“Mr. Cutter,” she began ominously, because she gave him this title only
-when she was ominous, “when you married me I had red hair. My hair is
-still red.”
-
-“Yes, my dear; but you were a girl. I said a man. I meant a young
-man with red hair. There is all the latitudes and longitudes in life
-between the one and the other. If you were a red-haired young man, I
-should think twice before I’d give a daughter of mine in marriage to
-you. But you will recall that I had black hair,” he concluded, laughing.
-
-A father who would traduce his own son for inheriting hair the color of
-his mother’s and without cause--well, she could not understand such a
-father. Whereupon she left the room in high dudgeon, but really to go
-and look for this son. Her confidence in him had not been shaken, but
-she was anxious without reason, which is the keenest anxiety from which
-women suffer.
-
-She found him pacing back and forth in the vegetable garden, arms
-folded, face lifted like a yowling puppy’s to the moon; not that this
-simile occurred to her. He appeared to her a potentially great man,
-breathing his thoughts in this quiet place.
-
-He was annoyed at this interruption. Was he never to have a moment
-alone to think this thing out! He really thought he was thinking, you
-understand, when he was only visualizing a girl in a white dress, with
-a blue sash, blue eyes and blue cornflowers on her hat; blue was the
-most entrancing color in the world, and so on and so forth. He was
-trying to imagine what she would say if she said anything, when he
-saw his mother approaching. He repressed his impatience. They walked
-together between the bald-headed cabbage and the young, curled-up,
-green lettuce. She thought she was sharing his thoughts. Something had
-been said about his experiences in the bank. Many a mother and some
-fathers would leap with amazement, if they really knew the thoughts
-they do not share with their sons and daughters at such times.
-
-Still this was an innocent young man, as men go, a good son, as sons
-are reckoned. He was well within his rights to be pursuing his love
-fancies. And for a long period of this time he remained in a state of
-legal innocence of which any man or husband might boast. Mrs. Cutter
-was entirely justified in despising the opinion Mr. Cutter had given
-that night of this excellent young man. Sometimes more than twenty
-years are required to fulfill a paternal prophecy.
-
-Mrs. Adams remained seated on the porch. She supposed Helen had gone to
-her room to take off her hat and would return presently. It was much
-cooler out here, and the street was interesting at this hour of the
-late afternoon, like watching a very good human play, where all the
-characters are decent.
-
-She saw Mrs. Shaw bustling in and out, herding her numerous family.
-This meant that they were having early supper, probably cold supper,
-and that they would go to the band concert afterwards. The Shaws spent
-a good deal on amusements. She hoped they could afford it.
-
-There was Mr. Flitch sitting alone on his front porch, with his heels
-cocked up on the banister. This meant that he was in a state of
-rebellion, because he never stuck his feet on to this immaculately
-white banister if he was in a proper frame of mind. It also meant that
-Mrs. Flitch had her feelings hurt again and was probably in her room
-suffering from this ailment. She had heard that the Flitches did not
-get on well together. In her opinion this was Ella Flitch’s fault. You
-could not live diagonally across the street from a waspish woman and
-belong to the same missionary society without knowing that she was
-waspish.
-
-I am writing this into the record--it was no part of Mrs. Adams’
-reflections--that if you are a woman you always blame the wife for her
-marital unhappiness; if you are a man you know, of course, that the
-husband is at fault, even if you listen cordially to your own wife when
-she is taking the contrary view.
-
-Mrs. Adams turned her neat, little, gray head slowly, surreptitiously
-and took a swift glance up the street at the Cutter residence. Then
-she turned it back again. But she had read all the news up there to be
-seen with the naked eye, assisted by powerful spectacles. Mr. and Mrs.
-Cutter were seated comfortably in their respective porch chairs. And
-George was out in the swing, elegantly folded into a sitting posture
-where he commanded a view of her front porch. If you are the mother
-of a daughter, you notice such little circumstances whether they mean
-anything or not, because they may be very significant.
-
-The sight of this young man sentinel reminded her of something. Where
-was Helen? What was she doing so long inside? She arose at once and
-went in to see about this.
-
-“Helen!” she called from the hall.
-
-No answer.
-
-She walked heavily to the closed bedroom door and knocked
-authoritatively.
-
-No answer. Not a sound.
-
-“Helen, are you in there?”
-
-“Yes, mother,” came the faint reply.
-
-“What are you doing?”
-
-“Nothing,” in a wailing, muffled voice, as if this person who was doing
-“nothing” was being smothered.
-
-Mrs. Cutter thrust the door open and went in. She was astounded.
-Her daughter lay face downward across the bed, with her arms wound
-above her head in two beautifully curved lines of mute despair. Two
-pretty legs extended stiffly beyond the uttermost that skirts could
-do to cover them. One slippered foot worked slowly as you move a
-foot in pain, and at quick intervals the slender form rose and fell
-convulsively to the passionate rhythm of sobs.
-
-“What on earth is the matter?” the mother exclaimed.
-
-“Nothing.”
-
-“Are you ill?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“Has anything happened?”
-
-“Not a thing.”
-
-“Why are you crying?”
-
-“I don’t know. Oh, mother, I just want to be left alone”--followed by
-another paroxysm of weeping.
-
-Mrs. Adams waited grimly until the distressing convulsions of the
-slender young body subsided. Then she began again: “Well, you can’t be
-left in this fix. Turn over, Helen. You are mussing your dress.”
-
-The girl turned obediently, her face poignantly, sweetly pink, very
-sad. Her eyes bright with tears like violets after a summer rain. The
-flush was ominous. Mrs. Adams had never seen Helen this color before,
-never in her life. She bent and laid a palm on the girl’s brow--warm,
-but moist; certainly not feverish.
-
-She stood regarding her daughter thoughtfully. Then she sat down on the
-side of the bed, took one of Helen’s hands in her own harsher, stronger
-hand, where it lay like a plucked lily, wilted, icy cold. She stroked
-it gently. Her face softened, her eyes brooded, as if through a mist
-she beheld a memory of herself long ago, which suddenly freshened and
-brightened into the figure of the girl she had been.
-
-Mothers are omniscient. They have little paths back and forth through
-their years by which the ghosts of them can always find you, wherever
-you are. Not another word was spoken for a long time between these two;
-the younger, overcome by the future, holding the unsolved, longed-for
-mystery of love; the other, overcome by the past, which held for
-her the dreadful reality of love. Neither had or could escape. They
-accomplished a wordless sympathy on this basis.
-
-Mrs. Adams’ reflections were strangely mixed, what with that sundown
-feeling she had of her own youth and the anxieties of a mother growing
-stronger every moment. She would like to know, for example, if Helen
-had seen George Cutter. Had she gone by the bank for the pass book? But
-even when she caught sight of this book lying on the dresser, with the
-ends of many checks sticking out of it, she did not put the question.
-Love is a wound too painful to be dressed with the tenderest words when
-it is first made, much less scraped with a question.
-
-She was, over and above her emotions as a woman and a mother, fairly
-well satisfied with the situation. She inferred that George and Helen
-had had some sort of passage at arms. And she did not suppose that any
-man in or out of his senses could actually resist for long a girl of
-Helen’s soft charm. Mothers have their pride, you understand. This one
-was shrewd, eminently practical. You must be, to deal with youth at
-this stage.
-
-The room was flooded with the golden effulgence of a summer twilight
-when at last she arose, moved gently toward the door, picking up the
-bank book as she passed the dresser and thrusting it into her pocket.
-“Helen,” she said from the doorway, “it is the heat. This has been a
-very warm day. You will be better presently.”
-
-“Yes, mother, I think it was the heat; and I do feel better,” the girl
-answered faintly.
-
-“There is ice tea and chicken salad for supper,” Mrs. Adams suggested.
-
-“I don’t think I care for anything.”
-
-“Well, later then. I’ll leave the tea and your salad on the ice,” the
-mother said, going out and closing the door.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-This was the beginning of that affair. Helen remembered the day well. A
-woman never forgets the sky and the weather of the day upon which love
-called her forth to the vicissitudes of love. But as things turned out,
-I doubt if she would mention that day now, as other women do when the
-bloom of their years has past. But at the best a courtship is strangely
-ephemeral, if you consider the consequences. It is like fugitive verses
-published to-day, gone to-morrow, like the fragrance of flowers blown
-upon a wind that passes and never returns. So much of it cannot be made
-into words; a glance of the eye, quick as light, revealing all; but
-who can translate the look or the long silences between lovers? Nature
-knows her business. The whole world, the heavens and the earth and
-the fullness thereof is an incantation made to ensnare lovers to her
-purpose. And not a word grows anywhere to betray this charm. You may be
-strong or weak, wise or simple, cynical, disillusioned, protected with
-all the knowledge of men, but there is no escape. Nature gets you at
-last; on honor or dishonor you must pay your debt to her in love. When
-you are done, nothing remains but your dust, a handful of something
-with which to fertilize love again--a little retail economy Nature
-makes in her procreating plans.
-
-The next day after this first day was a Sabbath. I do not believe in
-predestination, doctrinally speaking. The meaning of that term, I
-should say, was strictly human, and is derived from our short-winded
-conception of time, which does not exist either, except in the mortal
-sense. But by some prearranged prudence of Providence, by which all
-things come to pass whether we will or no, including the most intimate
-and personal things, the Cutters attended the same church that the
-remaining mother and daughter of the Adams family attended. It was
-a very good little church, glistening white within, shining white
-without, like an enameled bathtub with a roof and a steeple. I will not
-be sure, but my impression is that the denomination was Baptist. In any
-case, Helen Adams belonged to the choir.
-
-On this Sunday morning she sang a solo, Jerusalem the Golden. She had a
-fresh young voice, roomy and soft at the bottom, triumphantly high and
-keen at the top. She wore white as usual and little fluttering skylines
-of blue tied in a bow as usual. When she stood up to sing she lifted
-her eyes as if these eyes and this face were the words of a young
-morning prayer; she let go her beautifully crimped upper lip, opened
-her mouth as if this mouth were a rose bursting into bloom--and sang.
-I do not know if she sang well, having no skill in these matters; but
-it is certain that she looked like an angel. What I mean is that if you
-had no visual acquaintance with angels, you would have known at once
-that this was the very image of the way an angel should look.
-
-The congregation listened with the peaceful apathy peculiar to every
-small town congregation, when it is being mulled in the music of a hymn
-or the Word. This made the one exception the more noticeable.
-
-George William Cutter, Junior, looked and listened with a fervor which
-far surpassed anything that mere piety could do for a young man’s
-praying countenance. Fortunately he was seated far back in the publican
-and sinner section of the church. Thus he escaped the sophisticated
-attention of the elder saints toward the front. Never had he seen
-anything so lovely as this girl, the high look she had with the notes
-of this hymn, trembling as they came from her round, white throat or
-flaring into a perfect ecstasy of joy.
-
-When she had finally caroled out and sat down, he whispered under his
-breath, “Lord! Lord!” although he was not a religious man and meant
-nothing of the sort by this exclamation.
-
-The moment the benediction was pronounced, he stepped briskly from his
-place in that sparsely settled part of the church, met the slow-moving
-tattling tide of the congregation coming out as he hurried down the
-aisle like a good swimmer in sluggish waters until he reached Helen
-standing in the rear ranks with her mother.
-
-He bowed to Mrs. Adams. He hoped she remembered him--George Cutter,
-extending his hand.
-
-Oh, yes; she remembered him, she said mildly. No excitement in her
-mind over the recollection either! Did he think he had improved that
-much? She let him know that so far as she was concerned he was the same
-little George Cutter who used to live across the street and sometimes
-threw stones at her chickens.
-
-No matter if you are a very handsome young man, with athletic
-laurels hanging to your college coat tails, you cannot make a deep
-or flattering impression on a middle-aged woman who has a practical,
-computing mind and knows the romantic value of her beautiful daughter.
-If Helen had been homely, a little, starched mouse of a girl, who
-could not sing Jerusalem the Golden or anything else, she would have
-received George’s salutations more cordially. As it was, she did not
-have to be more than invincibly polite. All this she let him know with
-a flat look of her calm blue eye.
-
-It was a waste of excellent maternal diplomacy so far as he was
-concerned. He had already turned to Helen. He was almost speechless
-from having so much to say. She was entirely so for a moment. Then she
-gave him her hand and managed to say, “Howdy do, George,” in a tone a
-girl uses when the man owes her an apology.
-
-This accusative welcome dashed him. No smile! When he was himself
-the very pedestal of a smile. Good heavens, what had he done? He was
-conscious of being innocent; yet he felt guilty.
-
-Mrs. Adams paid no more attention to them. She had gone on, caught
-up with the Flitches and passed out. This was the only permission he
-received that he might, if he could, walk with Helen.
-
-The girl’s inclemency stirred him as frosty weather stimulates
-energy. So they followed. I doubt if they were aware themselves
-that the distance lengthened between them and other groups of this
-congregation, which divided and dwindled at every street corner.
-Lovers are recognized on sight, long before they know themselves to
-be lovers. People make room for their privacy in public places. These
-two had a whole block to themselves by the time they entered Wiggs
-Street. Mrs. Adams had already disappeared in her house. The broad back
-of Mr. Cutter and the slim back of little Mrs. Cutter were visible
-for a moment before they also faded through the doorway of the Cutter
-residence.
-
-Only the Flitches stood _en masse_ on their spider-legged veranda,
-their eyes glued upon these two stragglers, coming slowly down the
-sunlit street. The Flitches were good people, of the round-eyed breed.
-They had a candid, perpetually interrogative curiosity which nothing
-could satisfy. You know the kind. It is never you, but the family
-that lives across the street from you, or in the next house with thin
-eyelid curtains over their windows through which they are perpetually
-regarding you, striving after omniscience about you and your affairs.
-
-Helen had admitted that it was a “nice day” when he said it was, as
-they came out of the church and faced the fair brow of this June
-sabbath.
-
-He had told her how much he enjoyed her solo. It was wonderful.
-
-She merely replied that she “liked to sing.”
-
-He was still conscious of being in the arctic region of her regard and
-cast about, with a lover’s distracted compass, to discover the way out.
-“Weren’t you in the bank yesterday afternoon?” he asked suddenly.
-
-“Yes,” she answered coldly after a slight pause; “I was about to speak
-to you, but you did not recognize me,” she added.
-
-“It is the truth. I did not,” he admitted quickly and waited. He could
-not be sure she got it, the compliment implied. He remembered her as
-merely sensible, not smart. “You have changed, grown or something,”
-he resumed. “I couldn’t be expected to know you. All the other girls
-here look just as they did when I left here two years ago. But you
-don’t; you are amazingly different. How did you do it?” he exclaimed,
-regarding her with charmed amazement.
-
-He saw her take it, caught the glance she gave him one instant before
-she dropped it. The faintest smile sweetened the comers of her mouth.
-He got that too.
-
-If only he had known of the tears she had shed after the visit to
-the bank, what a triumph! Fortunately, men do not know what maidens
-confess with tears to their pillows. If they did it would change many a
-courtship to one kind or another of ruthless tyranny.
-
-We who study love as if it were a medicine or a disease sometimes speak
-of “love at first sight,” as if this were an unusual seizure. But love
-is always love at first sight. You may know this man or he may know
-you for years without getting that angle of vision; but if you ever
-do, it is as if you had never really seen him before. In a moment you
-have endowed him with attributes his Maker would never have squandered
-on a man of that quality. This is what love is, the conferring of
-virtues and qualities upon the object of your awakened emotion like so
-many degrees. He may be a drug clerk, or a chicken-breasted, fat man,
-or a swank young rascal, but from that moment when love gets sight of
-him he is a fellow of the royal society of heroes, and you may be so
-bemused you live a lifetime with him, always conferring more degrees to
-keep him tenderly concealed from your clearer vision. Or it may happen
-in a year or twenty years the scales fall from your eyes. Then love
-becomes a servant, and life a tragedy. But there is nothing in the
-Scriptures against such a servant or such a life. Rather, I should say
-the Scriptures make wide and permanent provisions for this deflation in
-the marital relation.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-
-From this day George Cutter spent his spare time in and about the
-Adams cottage. You might have inferred that he was a homeless man. He
-accompanied Helen to such entertainments as society consisted of in
-Shannon, chiefly picnics and fishing excursions at this season of the
-year. He was by nature an importunate lover, and he was in love. He did
-not ask himself whether Helen would make a suitable wife for such a man
-as he was, and would become. He did not know what kind of man he was.
-He only knew that he wanted this girl, and that no other man should
-have her.
-
-The decision was natural, entirely creditable. But the approach must be
-made. So far as he was concerned he was ready to propose to Helen at
-once; girls, however, were squeamish in matters of love. His instinct
-warned him that he might lose by an immediate declaration. He spent the
-time agreeably displaying his wares. He was a university man. He had a
-smattering of ideas, caught carelessly and selected from the mouthings
-of this professor and that. He had no doubt that he could make an
-impression. Helen was village born, village bred. It was well enough to
-startle her into a profound admiration. Nothing subdued and impressed a
-woman like brains. He not only had brains, he had views.
-
-Bear in mind this was twenty years ago. The muckrakers were still
-mucking in the best magazines. The “social conscience,” a favorite
-phrase at the time, had passed the period of gestation, and had become
-a sentimental conviction claimed by the best people. Old patriarchal
-Russian anarchists with pink whiskers, spewed out of Russia, were
-pouring into this country, the shade of their whiskers due entirely
-to the action of the salt air during the voyage over on the dye used
-upon these whiskers by way of disguise until they were safe in a clean
-land. They brought their doctrines with them. They created a market for
-socialism, radicalism and communism.
-
-There was no provision then or even now at Ellis Island to exclude
-these lepers of decaying civilization afflicted with the most insidious
-social diseases of the mind. They had a fine time working up conditions
-which were presently to result in mental, moral and social unrest,
-strikes and the perversions of all sound doctrines. The universities
-in particular received these doctrines gladly--mere theories, so far
-as the deans and doctors were concerned, upon which they performed
-intellectual stunts before their classes; trapeze work, nothing more.
-At that time the most unscrupulous men in this nation were these
-teachers of youth. Now they may name their converts by the millions;
-but then the “young gentlemen” who listened had not got a working use
-of this diablerie. They talked of liberty as if liberty was license by
-way of appearing swank intellectually.
-
-George had come home that summer fresh cut from the classroom of a
-certain professor who held advanced views on what men were really
-entitled to in the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness.
-
-One evening he was seated beside Helen on a bench beneath an arbor
-covered with vines of trailing clematis. They had been there a long
-time. Nothing had happened, to put it exactly as Helen inwardly
-interpreted the situation. Nothing could happen yet, to put it
-according to George’s decision. He had been home barely two weeks.
-Helen impressed him as being so ineffably innocent, so remote from his
-passion that it would be almost an insult to make love to her. Love
-enjoined silence like the benediction in a church.
-
-They sat beneath the star-white clematis blossoms, confounded with each
-other. Helen waited. If only he would say something that would ease her
-of this pain, this humiliation of feeling as she did toward a man who
-might regard her merely as a friend! She thought he might be interested
-in her; he had been there almost every evening since his return. But
-she did not know. What suspense lovers bear when the whole tittering
-world knows the truth they dare not believe.
-
-George started to smoke, tilted his chin up, expelled a twin bugle
-of smoke from his nostrils, narrowed his eyes and stared into the
-immensity of the night. He was very handsome posed like this, and knew
-it.
-
-Men are much more presumptuously vain than women. They can be vain with
-no preparation, in their shirt sleeves, with a three days’ stubble of
-beard on their faces and no hair at all on their heads. Their vanity
-seems to be a sort of rooster-tail instinct, with which they have been
-endowed so that they may do the work of the world and waste no time
-primping. It is an illusion, of course, this physical egotism, but the
-queer thing is that it is an illusion of them shared by most women. So
-they get away with it. And few of them ever know how purposefully and
-sardonically they are afflicted by Nature with homeliness.
-
-On the other hand, when you get down to the psychological facts, I
-doubt if women are vain at all. They may be beautiful, but even at
-that they have so little confidence in their beauty that the last one
-of them must finance her assurance with all the make-believe art of
-loveliness. I suppose she has discovered that it is not beauty that
-wins the lover, but it is the deliberate proclamation she thus makes
-to him of her charms. And this is no illusion. For the history of that
-grotesque sex is that the average man will pass a naturally beautiful
-woman every time to pay his court to a painted, powdered and puffed
-woman who is not nearly so good-looking, if you washed her face and
-buttoned her up to the neck-line of modesty.
-
-Here was Helen, for example, seated beside this young man, all
-whiteness and sweetness, eyes so blue that even in this moonlit
-darkness they showed like sunlit skies, lips pink, parted like the
-petals of a rose, teeth like pearls glistening between--the very emblem
-of loveliness; and yet she was in an anguish of uncertainty, lest he
-did not and never would care for her. I don’t know--this may be one of
-the scurvy tricks Nature plays on women to keep them humble. If so, it
-is not the only one. I admire the achievements and beauties of Nature
-as much as any one, but I must say from first to last her methods
-appear to me unscrupulous.
-
-The silence had grown oppressive. Helen made some slight movement. She
-probably clasped her hands and squeezed her patience. It was hard to
-be omitted so long from his thoughts. The rustle she made, faint as it
-was, recalled him, as he let her know with a glance.
-
-“I was just thinking, Helen, what a sorry little runt of a town this
-is,” he said, lifting his chin a trifle higher over the little runt of
-a town.
-
-There was a slight pause. You must have a moment in which to adjust
-yourself to the incredible, especially when you have not been thinking
-about anything so far removed.
-
-“Shannon?” she asked in an exclamatory tone.
-
-“Yes; it is. You can’t imagine how it looks to me after two years away
-from it, how it compares with the big places I have seen--dried up,
-sun-baked, no atmosphere, no culture.”
-
-She said nothing. What can you say when you hear a man blaspheming the
-very cradle where he was rocked in infancy. Besides, the contempt
-seemed to include her. She was a part of it, and she loved it.
-
-“I saw a handsome plant of some sort blooming in a tin bucket on Mrs.
-Flitch’s front porch the other day. That’s what I mean,” he went on.
-
-“But what do you mean?” she asked, regarding him vaguely.
-
-“Well, the bucket was tinware, as I said, and published on it, still in
-red letters, was the red label of a superior shortening.” He laughed.
-
-“She is so fond of flowers,” Helen expounded gravely.
-
-His eyes snickered at her. “But the bucket,” he exclaimed, “the tin
-bucket, the old tin bucket with the red label--with a gardenia blooming
-in it. Naïve, I’ll admit, but about as appropriate as sticking an
-ostrich plume over the kitchen sink.”
-
-Helen made a hasty mental inventory of the Adams flower pots and
-thanked heaven they were correct.
-
-“The people here do not think; they merely gossip,” he went on. “They
-have no ideas, no purely mental conceptions. They do not know what is
-going on in the mind of the world, how men’s views of life are changing
-and broadening.”
-
-She did not follow him, but she felt the wind of the world beneath her
-wing.
-
-“Two years here made no difference. You don’t grow. You don’t develop.
-But away in a university, where your business is to get what’s going
-and learn to think, two years change a man. I am a stranger here now.
-My own father and mother do not know me.”
-
-“Oh, George, yes, they do!” she exclaimed consolingly.
-
-Then she caught his eye and perceived that he was in no need of
-consolation. He was boasting, prouder than otherwise of being this
-stranger. “It’s a fact; they make me feel like a whited sepulcher,” he
-complained.
-
-“But you don’t,” she exclaimed loyally, but really in great trepidation
-lest he might be this awful thing.
-
-“Of course not,” he returned, pleased to have excited her anxiety. “But
-what would my father think if he knew I am interested in socialism,
-that my best friends in the university are radicals?”
-
-She was not competent to express an opinion. She was not skilled in
-politics.
-
-“And what would my mother think if she knew that I no longer accept
-the Scriptures literally as she does, as you all do in this town; that
-I know the Bible to be fragments of history and tradition, much of it
-mythical, the priestly literature of the Jews, gathered from dreams and
-hearsay, and interpreted to control the lives and liberties of men.”
-
-“Oh, George! you must not say such things. You are a member of the
-church. I remember the Sunday morning when you were baptized.”
-
-“A public bath! And there is no ‘the Church,’ Helen; did you know
-that--unless it’s the world; that’s the big church,” said this grand
-young man, delivered from the faith of his fathers.
-
-This was awful. She stared at him through tears, but not with any
-shrinking; rather her heart yearned toward him. There is no doubt about
-this--all women, however young, have wings and a sort of clucking mind,
-spiritually speaking.
-
-He was moved by the sight of these tears to a loftier, transient mood
-of himself. He turned so as to face her, seized her hand, bent his
-brows upon her in a strained, long look. It was powerful, this gaze.
-She trembled. Her hand became icy in his hot palm. He tightened his
-clasp upon it.
-
-“Listen, Helen,” in the deep bass tones of a terrific emotion, “I
-wish you to know me as I am. I would not take advantage of a girl like
-you. I will keep nothing from you. It is necessary if--if my hopes are
-realized.” He left her in this suspense while he bowed his head and
-struggled to stem his tide. “I am not a good man,” he began. It was
-the opening sentence of a proclamation, not a confession, as if he
-had said: “I have a cloven foot and am proud of it.” “But I have my
-convictions, and no man on God’s green earth is more faithful to his
-convictions.”
-
-She was holding her breath, only letting it out when she could hold it
-no longer in a soft sigh, and taking in another for the next sigh. If
-you are doing it for exercise you call it “deep breathing.”
-
-“And I have my ideals,” he added impressively.
-
-She was relieved. If he was not an entirely good man, he could not be a
-bad one; he had “convictions” and he had “ideals.” What more could she
-ask?
-
-“For example, I believe in the freedom of love,” he announced, and
-waited for this shocking piece of news to take effect.
-
-The effect was marvelous. Her cheeks bloomed scarlet. Nature flung a
-wreath of palest pink upon her forehead--only for an instant; then
-this aurora of love’s emotion faded. “I am afraid I don’t know much
-about love,” she said faintly, lowering her eyes before his gaze.
-
-He leaned back, gratified. He had her secret; but she had not got his
-meaning. The dear little innocent! He was tempted to kiss her.
-
-This was really the case. She had not recognized the phrase. There was
-no use for it in Shannon. The worst thing she had ever heard was Sammy
-Duncan swearing at the cat. Her reading had been sternly censored. Mrs.
-Adams took no morning paper, “on account of Helen”; a magazine, yes;
-and there were Scott’s novels. These had been the girl’s text books
-of love. She had never even read the Song of Solomon. Mrs. Adams had
-forbidden her this richer scriptural food. “You won’t understand it,”
-the mother had said. And Helen obediently skipped it when she turned
-the pages of her Bible. She had secretly wondered why Solomon was in
-the Bible anyway. He was not a proper person, if one believed the
-preacher, and one must do that. Neither was David all he should have
-been by all accounts. But here she veered again and merely learned her
-Psalms, making no inquiries into the author’s private life, which was
-very ladylike of her. In short, brought up according to a standard
-of innocence which amounted to a deformity, at this moment she was
-stripped of every weapon by which she might have defended herself
-against an iniquitous doctrine.
-
-George decided not to go too fast with his teaching on this subject,
-for he was determined that she should learn it and accept it. He kissed
-her hand instead and told her that she was all there was of love so far
-as he was concerned.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI
-
-
-From this time their affair progressed with reeling swiftness. Helen
-assumed an air of independence, as if she had suddenly come into
-possession of a private fortune. This is ever the effect of riches
-upon the meekest of us. She was now a lovely young insurrection in
-her mother’s house. She had opinions and expressed them boldly in
-opposition to those of her mother.
-
-This had never happened before. Mrs. Adams was astonished, but she
-conformed to the natural order of parents. She abdicated, merely
-trailing clouds of futile protests as she descended, also after
-the manner of parents. You may manage a son in love by putting the
-financial brakes on him; but you can do literally nothing with a
-daughter in love, because her sense of responsibility is purely
-devotional and sentimental. She will risk a husband because she will
-not be obliged to support him. This is the difference, which she may
-discover afterwards does not exist. But she thinks it does, which comes
-to the same thing.
-
-If you are a girl you cannot stir up any great issue. Helen simply
-made those within her reach. For one thing she decided to wear “pink.”
-
-“But blue is your color,” Mrs. Adams objected.
-
-“But it is not one of my principles, mother. I am tired of blue. I have
-worn it all my life as a rabbit wears one kind of skin. I’m human. I
-can wear any color.”
-
-And she did. She tried every shade of the rainbow that summer. She was
-extravagant.
-
-“Helen, where are your economies?” Mrs. Adams exclaimed, as if she
-referred to certain necessary fastenings on the feminine character.
-
-This was a day in August, when Helen wanted yet another hat and frock.
-
-“They were never mine; they were yours, mother,” was the unfeeling
-reply. “I want the dress and the hat.”
-
-“You have had two hats this season.”
-
-“This one then will make three.”
-
-Clothes had become her obsession, a silent way she had of extorting
-admiration from George.
-
-“Well, if this keeps up I cannot afford to send you away to school this
-fall,” Mrs. Adams told her.
-
-“I don’t want to go away to school. I am tired of being just taught. I
-want to do my own learning,” Helen informed her.
-
-And when you consider how simple she was, this was a rather profound
-thing to say. The desire to chase our own knowledge is as old as Eve.
-But from then until now it has led to a sort of independent, sweating
-self-respect. We pay the highest price of all for it, as Helen was
-destined to learn--among other things. But I reckon it is worth it, if
-anything is worth what we pay for the experience by which life unfolds.
-
-Mrs. Adams was not crushed by this flare of ingratitude. She was simply
-confirmed in her suspicions.
-
-Meanwhile Mr. Cutter, Senior, was also confirmed in his suspicions.
-Young George informed him early in August that he just about had enough
-of the university; he believed the wisest thing for him to do under
-the circumstances was to settle down to business. He did not name
-the circumstances, but by this time everybody knew what they were,
-including Mr. Cutter.
-
-“You are of age--your own man; the decision rests with you,” he had
-said to George on this occasion, by way of washing his hands of any
-responsibility, after the cool-headed manner of fathers.
-
-As a matter of fact, he was very well satisfied. Helen Adams was a good
-girl; pretty; she would eventually inherit some property. Besides,
-he thought George had better settle early in life, else he might not
-settle at all.
-
-“I’ve made the decision,” said George, like a man in a hurry. “With
-the hope of getting a raise in salary soon,” he added, with a note of
-financial stress in his voice.
-
-“Oh, I guess we could manage that in case of an emergency,” his father
-replied in the same matter-of-fact tones.
-
-This is the way men deal with one another, even if somewhere behind
-the dealing deathless love is at stake. And it is not the way women
-deal with one another. For some reason, when they settle down in their
-years, and recover the powers of sight according to reason, they are
-ready to inflict death on love upon the slightest provocation.
-
-Mrs. Adams suddenly and for no apparent cause ceased to speak to Mrs.
-Cutter. And Mrs. Cutter with no apparent reason began to refer to
-Helen as “that Adams girl.” The mother of a son is always jealous. She
-over-estimates him; no matter whom he chooses for a wife, she thinks
-he might have done better. Mrs. Cutter was free to tell anybody, and
-did tell quite a number, that she hoped George would marry sometime;
-but when he did it was natural that she should wish him to choose a
-girl who would be equal to the position he could give her in the world.
-George had a future before him. He was no ordinary young man. By these
-sentiments she left you to infer what she thought of the “Adams girl.”
-If you ask me, I say she was correct in her opinion, but futilely so.
-
-Mrs. Adams knew that her daughter could not do better in a worldly way
-than to marry this young man. But when it came to the pinch, she forgot
-the world and thought anxiously of Helen. She was a good mother. Her
-instinct, sharpened by years of living in a world where love plays
-havoc with hopes and happiness, warned her that while George might
-settle down in business and become eminently successful, she doubted
-if he could be domesticated in the strictly marital virtues. He had
-too much temperament. Perhaps this was the way she had of admitting
-that Helen was a trifle short on temperament, even if she did have a
-good singing voice. On the other hand, Helen had the awful sanity of
-seeing things as they are. She had observed this walking mind of her
-daughter--no wings upon which to carry illusions. How would such a
-woman adjust herself to a husband who might have recurrent periods of
-adolescence? She did not know. Therefore she regarded George with a
-hostile beam in her eye and quit speaking to Mrs. Cutter.
-
-When you consider the seismic disturbances created about them by only
-two lovers and multiply them by all the other lovers to the uttermost
-parts of the earth, it is clear that there never can be any lasting
-peace in this world, though disarmament might be complete, and all
-nations might pass a law confirming peace and good will. For this
-is a natural disturbance beyond the diplomacy of diplomats or of
-confederated congresses to control. It is the perpetual insurrection of
-life everlasting in the terms of love, which are never peaceful terms.
-
-Some time during this August, probably the latter part, Helen wore her
-third degree hat and the new frock. This hat lies now in an old trunk
-above the attic stairs in the house of Helen. I have seen it. A leghorn
-with a wide floppy brim, stiff, a little askew and out of shape, as you
-would be yourself if you had lain so long without so much as a breath
-of wind to stir you. There is a good deal of lace and ribbon on it and
-a wreath of wild roses. It looks funny, as a hat always does when it is
-long out of style, or as a love letter reads when you have been married
-twenty years to the man who wrote it. But with all there remained
-something gay and confident about this hat, like the wistful smile and
-sweetness of a girl’s face, as no doubt there remains in the latter
-those former scriptures of a valorous love.
-
-Helen was standing beside me when I fished up this little ghost of
-a hat and held it up in the warm light of the attic. “Put it on,” I
-exclaimed, not meaning to be irreverent.
-
-“No; oh, no,” she said, drawing back. “It would not become me now.”
-
-And it would not, any more than the love letter would have become the
-sentiments of the poor, tired, old, middle-aged husband who wrote it
-long ago.
-
-But what I set out to tell when the former Helen’s hat intrigued me
-was that she went for a walk with George the first time she wore it.
-Shannon at that time was such a brief little town that you could step
-out of it into the open country almost at once.
-
-They took the river road, which was not in very good repute with the
-guardians and parents of Shannon, for no better reason than that it
-was sanctified by the vows of so many lovers. But what would you have?
-These lovers require privacy and some fairness of scenery for their
-business. You may involuntarily publish love on a street corner, but
-you cannot declare it there. Your very nature revolts at the idea. So
-does society. You would be arrested for staging a love scene in public.
-Old people are not reasonable about this. Parental parlor-supervision
-has produced more unhappy old maids than the homely features of these
-victims.
-
-When they had come some distance along the road, George drew her arm in
-his, and they went on in this beatific silence. “Helen,” he said, “if
-you should say anything, what would you say?”
-
-She looked, caught his red brown eyes smiling down at her and blushed.
-“Why, I was not going to say anything. I was just thinking,” she
-answered.
-
-“What?” he insisted.
-
-“How happy I am now, this moment, and--” she halted.
-
-“Well, go on.”
-
-“Well, just how easy it is to be happy. How little it really takes to
-make happiness,” she answered truthfully.
-
-“Just you and me,” he agreed.
-
-They went on again walking slowly.
-
-“I never loved a girl before,” he informed her, as if they had been
-discussing this miracle of love in open speech for hours.
-
-She believed him. We always do believe them when they tell us this,
-because we need so much to keep this happiness which is founded upon
-the shifting sands of lovers.
-
-“And you, my beautiful one, you do love me?” he asked, suddenly halting
-and swinging her in front of him.
-
-She laid her hand upon her breast, looked at him through a mist of
-tears. “Is this love?” she asked, as if her hand covered leaves and
-blossoms and singing birds.
-
-“Of course it is,” cried her high priest, clasping her and kissing her.
-
-“Are you sure?” she gasped, with another wide look of joyful fear.
-
-“Absolutely!”
-
-“But, George, how can you know for certain, if you’ve never loved
-before?”
-
-Sometimes I think for every woman love is an alarm bell which rings
-perpetually to disturb her peace. It really was a staggering question
-she had asked, and George staggered like a man. “You know what you feel
-is love, don’t you?” he evaded.
-
-“What I feel is terror and happiness.”
-
-“Well, that’s love for you. This is love for me,” he exclaimed, kissing
-her again. “And to know that you are mine entirely, aren’t you?”
-
-“Yes,” she whispered.
-
-The conversation of lovers in fiction rarely tallies with what they
-actually say to each other in real life. I have read the dialogue of
-many a brilliant courtship in a novel, but never as an eavesdropper or
-observer have I known two people in love to utter a single sentence
-which was sensible or that even escaped absurdity, if you repeated
-it along with other gossip you have to tell. And yet it is very
-important, this primer talk, these watching eyes of lovers who place
-the profoundest significance upon the most trivial act, or even the
-wavering of a glance between them.
-
-I merely say this in passing, as a challenge to the reader, who may
-feel a trifle let down, disappointed at the above record of what took
-place between George and Helen on that day. What I have written is
-the artless truth of love, not the fabricated philosophy of love,
-because there is no such philosophy. Love is a state of being beyond
-our academic powers to expound. It exists, it functions amazingly
-and that is all we know about it or ever will know about it, the
-passion-mongers and biologists to the contrary, notwithstanding.
-They shed no light on this phenomenon, only upon the obvious material
-results. They do in truth obscure it by gratifying your desire, dear
-reader, to indulge vicariously in something not suitable to the proper
-furnishing of your elegant mind.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII
-
-
-The ruins of an old iron foundry stood on this river road. The roof had
-fallen in long ago. The walls and gables, built of rough stone alone
-remained. Creeping vines covered them. The sun dipping low upon the
-horizon shone through the open places where windows had been. But the
-shadows were already deepening in the great, open doorway beside the
-road.
-
-Helen was for turning back now. She was all brisked up with the desire
-to hurry home with this sweet burden of happiness.
-
-“No, let’s go up there,” he said, making a gesture toward this door.
-
-They climbed the slope from the road, hand in hand, and sat upon a
-long stone step, the fields before them changing already beneath the
-lavender mists of twilight, the river singing below, the bright squares
-of sunlight fading from the black smoked walls within, the shadows in
-there deepening to darkness behind them. But what soft effulgence in
-this girl’s face! Already the candles upon her altar burned. For so
-many years she kept that look of pale candle light in the dark. Her
-features changed; the skin lost its rosy glow; her beauty passed away;
-but this serene brightness never faded. When I knew her long afterwards
-she was in the full bloom of her years, her eyes of that calmer blue
-women get when all the storms of love and loving have passed and left
-the heart motionless with the awful peace of victory over love. And she
-was still thinking of love, as one recalls an epitaph!
-
-Besides the happiness of having her beside him, clasped like a banner
-to his side, George had something to say. He must make Helen understand
-one thing, and he thought he could do this now without risking his
-happiness. He did not anticipate that any emergency would ever arise
-between them that would force him to fall back on this conviction about
-love; but he had it; he had studied the science of social ethics in the
-university--an illuminating subject under a singularly broad-minded
-doctor of philosophy named Herron.
-
-The ethics were binding, of course, but between the lines and the
-laws Herron interpolated his own views on love. He had more than
-once attacked what he called the barbarous “contract of marriage.”
-Divorce was one of the articles of his creed. When Nature called for a
-separation of the contracting parties, it was abominable not to yield
-to this natural law, otherwise you profaned that most sacred of all
-things--love, and so on and so forth.
-
-George entertained a profound respect for Herron. Most of the young
-men in his classes did. Still, they referred to him as “that fellow
-Herron,” and discussed his views more than they did those of any
-other member of the faculty. In this way George had obtained one of
-his strongest convictions, a sort of pet moral; and as he had already
-taken occasion to inform Helen, “no man on God’s green earth was more
-faithful to his convictions.”
-
-“You know what I believe about love,” he began, drawing her closer to
-him according to this faith, it appeared.
-
-“Me!” she answered with charming confidence.
-
-“Oh, yes,” kissing her; “you are love, and my life.”
-
-She sighed.
-
-“That is why I believe in the freedom of love,” he began again. “There
-can be no bondage--ever--in love.”
-
-“Only the vows we take,” she whispered.
-
-“Yes, of course, marriage,” he admitted.
-
-“It is like being confirmed--in love--isn’t it?”
-
-“Why, yes, for those who love.”
-
-“And we do,” she said.
-
-“Yes, indeed,” he returned heartily--and hurriedly, if she had noticed;
-for she was getting off on the wrong tack, and he wanted to say what he
-had to say before this wind filled her sails. “But it is by love, not
-law, that you chose me; isn’t it?”
-
-“Oh, yes, my love,” she answered softly.
-
-“Otherwise you would not take me,” he went on.
-
-“But I do love you.”
-
-“But if the time ever came when--when you ceased to care for me--” he
-stammered and did not finish, feeling her stiffen as if by a resolve in
-his arms.
-
-“It could not come, such a time,” she interrupted, “because I could
-never cease to love you.”
-
-“I know it, my sweetheart,” speaking with tender gratitude, “but I am
-only supposing the case, that if either of us ceased to care--”
-
-She tore herself from him. She covered him with her wide, blue gaze.
-“Could you--cease to care?” she demanded.
-
-“Absolutely no! You are my very life. I think, live and hope everything
-in terms of you,” he assured her.
-
-But she was not assured. She remained apart, no longer yielding to his
-arms about her. “Well, why think about what will not happen?” she asked.
-
-“I told you we were only supposing--”
-
-“Not I?”
-
-“--that if you or I,” he went on determined to make his point, “ceased
-to love, it would be profanation to--pretend--to live as if we did,
-wouldn’t it?”
-
-“But, George,” with a note of pain, with the brightening of tears in
-her eyes, “we shall be one. It says so everywhere, in the Bible, in the
-vows we take, that we are one flesh. Then how can either of us cease to
-love?”
-
-“We won’t; we never shall,” he cried eloquently, and drawing her
-fearful, only half-willing in a close embrace. “But I must be honest
-with you. This is my conviction, the sanctity and freedom of love.”
-
-“It sounds well, but it feels dangerous,” she whispered.
-
-“Don’t you believe in me, Helen?” in an offended tone.
-
-“I do, oh, I do; but not in your conviction,” she moaned.
-
-“What difference does it make, my heart? We love. We have chosen each
-other,” he laughed.
-
-“Forever?” she wanted to know.
-
-“Forever!” he repeated with emphasis.
-
-She leaned close to his side, her head upon his breast, her eyes
-closed, lips parted, white teeth gleaming. He knew for certain that
-nothing could separate him from this goodness, this sweetness, this
-loveliness. He merely wished to be on the level, to conceal nothing
-from her that concerned them so nearly. He kissed her rapturously.
-
-She opened her eyes, human violets, blue like these flowers, innocent
-like a maid, but troubled as if far away cold winds were sweeping down.
-“Do you feel the wind?” she said.
-
-“There is no wind.”
-
-“Yes; and cold; I feel the chill.”
-
-“The air from the river,” he said, releasing her.
-
-“And the sun is down. It is late. We must go,” she said.
-
-They went back down the slope to the road, hand in hand as they had
-come up, but not the same. The pain which accompanies love had entered
-her heart.
-
-She was never to be perfectly easy again. No woman ever is who loves.
-Some months, some days, at last a few hours and a few moments of
-happiness she was to have with which to balance the years of life with
-love and this pain. But ask her! She will tell you that they were worth
-more than the years. So many more women than we know are like that.
-
-Once when they were near the town, he looked at her happily and said:
-“I have not told you the news. It concerns you, too, now. I got a raise
-in salary yesterday.”
-
-“I am so glad,” she answered smiling.
-
-“Oh, I deserved it. I am making good. Father knows it,” he put in.
-
-“You do work hard,” she agreed.
-
-“But not near as hard as I mean to work now--for you,” he assured her.
-
-She tightened her fingers upon his in reply.
-
-“I mean to be a successful man, Helen, for you. You shall have
-everything.”
-
-“I need only you,” she answered.
-
-“The world is a wolf, did you know that?”
-
-She did not, she said.
-
-“Yes, it is; and the man that makes good in it has got to be a wolf
-too.”
-
-The lamb looked up at the wolf and smiled. She was merely noticing for
-the hundredth time how handsome he was, and wishing he had compared
-himself to a lion. She preferred to think of him as a lion.
-
-
-
-
-PART TWO
-
-
-
-
-PART TWO
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII
-
-
-Three days after the homing birds flitting about the old foundry on the
-river road witnessed the betrothal of George and Helen, Mrs. George
-William Cutter was seen to issue from her residence at five o’clock in
-the afternoon. It was barely possible at any time to do this on Wiggs
-Street without being observed by the secret eyes of your neighbors and
-exciting a purely private interest in where you were going. But it was
-absurdly impossible for Mrs. Cutter to have escaped on this occasion
-without exciting the liveliest curiosity, owing to the way she looked
-and her obvious destination, as compared with what she had been saying
-quite freely for the last three months to any one who wanted to know
-what her feelings and opinions were concerning a certain matter.
-
-Her hair was crimped, although this was Thursday and she never put
-it up on hairpins except on Saturday nights “for Sunday.” She wore a
-small, glistening, lavender straw hat wreathed in lilacs of that shade
-of pink grown only by milliners. A helpless thing securely pinned on,
-which somehow gave the impression of having involuntarily drawn back
-from her face in a mild flowerlike terror of this face. Any one seeing
-her might have understood the feelings of this hat. Her countenance
-seemed to burn, probably from the summer heat, possibly from some fiery
-emotion. Her red brown eyes spat sparks, her neck was bowed until she
-accomplished what Nature had not designed she should have, a wrinkle
-that made a thin double chin.
-
-Her frock was of gray silk, high at the neck, tight at the waist, full
-in the skirt, “garnished” with three graduated bands of satin ribbon
-above a flounce at the bottom. It rustled richly as she walked, and she
-fairly crimped the ground as she walked, taking short, emphatic steps,
-as if the high heels of her slippers were stings with which she stung
-whatever was lawful for an indignant woman to sting with her heels.
-
-She was on her way to Helen Adams and her mother. She had tried to
-reason with George about this hasty marriage. She had pointed out to
-him that while the girl was a nice girl, and so on and so forth, only
-to have George fling out of the room as if she had insulted him. She
-had talked to Mr. Cutter about it, who had told her briefly, if not
-rudely, that she had better mind her own business and leave these young
-people to attend to theirs since they would do it, anyhow. As if George
-was not, and had not been, her own and chief business from the day of
-his birth. She had moped and suffered these three days. At last she
-had resolved to do her duty, since it was the only thing left that she
-could do. She would go and call on the Adamses, “recognize” them, and
-thus by the sacrifice of her pride and convictions, reinstate herself
-with George.
-
-The lot of a mother was a sad one! She had the pangs by which her
-child, in this case a son, was born. She nursed him. She had the care
-of him, never thinking of herself. Then when he was old enough to give
-her some returns, he goes off against her advice and gives himself to
-another woman who, she knows, and will live to see, is unsuited to
-him, and on top of all this she must sacrifice her feelings, stultify
-herself, boot-lick George by going over there! She was so moved to
-pity of herself that the imminence of tears reminded her that she had
-forgotten her handkerchief. She went back to get it, thus keeping the
-neighbors in suspense, because she had to stop and powder her nose
-after blowing it.
-
-This time she came out, moving swiftly and rustlingly across the street
-to the Adams cottage. She did not doubt that she would be received
-cordially there. She did not know that Mrs. Adams had ceased to “speak”
-to her some time ago, because she had never been more than civil to
-Mrs. Adams, and therefore would not have known if that lady had passed
-a year without speaking to her.
-
-She was received, of course, but by no stretch of imagination could the
-reception have been called cordial. Mrs. Adams did it. She asked her
-in, and admitted coolly that yes, Helen was at home. She would “tell”
-her. She went out to do this. Mrs. Cutter’s eyes took one flight about
-the room. She made the best of what she saw. There certainly were some
-good pieces of golden oak in it. She wondered if the girl would be
-allowed to take her piano when she married. She hoped--
-
-Mrs. Adams returned, large, serene, dignified, very cool. She hoped
-Mrs. Cutter had been well?
-
-Oh, yes, quite well, thanks.
-
-Then she told Mrs. Cutter voluntarily that if she had not been worried
-to death about Helen she supposed she might have been in her usual
-health.
-
-Mrs. Cutter raised her brows and said she hoped there was nothing the
-matter with Helen.
-
-Oh, no, the child was well and sillily happy, but this engagement!
-
-The two women stared at each other, ice and fire in these looks. Mrs.
-Cutter was astounded. Did her ears deceive her? They did not.
-
-Mrs. Adams was speaking in her large, welkin-ringing voice, distinctly
-audible in the street, across the street, for that matter. Helen was
-too young to marry, she was saying. She had not finished school. She
-had expected to give her the best advantages in music. Helen had
-talent, a future before her. But what good would talent do a married
-woman?
-
-She asked Mrs. Cutter this and paused for a reply if Mrs. Cutter could
-make one. Evidently she could not.
-
-No good in the world! Mrs. Adams retorted by way of answering herself.
-The less personal promise she had of a future, the better it was for a
-married woman. To have a gift in you that you could not develop made
-for unhappiness. And what time would Helen have for her music now?
-None. What use would she have for it? Practically none. And Helen
-had a very nice little talent for drawing. She had painted several
-placques, waving her hand at the evidences of her daughter’s art on the
-walls of the parlor. It was there--a placque the size of a dinner plate
-full of pansies, another one with roses painted on it.
-
-Mrs. Cutter’s eyes flew up obedient to these artless efforts in art,
-and immediately resumed their position on Mrs. Adams’ face, which was
-as full of meaning as the portrait of a Dutch mother done by an old
-master.
-
-“Of course you don’t know how I feel about it. You have never had a
-daughter,” she told Mrs. Cutter. “But I can tell you what it means.
-Your whole life is centered in her. You sacrifice and plan for her. You
-think she is yours. Well, you are mistaken. She belongs to some man she
-has never seen. About the time you are beginning to have some peace and
-satisfaction in her, he comes and gets her, marries her, regardless of
-you. Then you spend the rest of your life watching her do her duty by
-him, go through what you have gone through in your own married life, if
-not worse, when if you could only have had your way a little while it
-would have been so different, and--”
-
-Fortunately she did not finish this sentence. Helen came in at this
-moment and gave a sweeter, politer turn to the conversation.
-
-Mrs. Cutter had intended to discuss the situation--in a kind way of
-course, but frankly. She wanted to give some advice, let Helen know
-how important it was for her to exert every effort to fit herself for
-the position she would have in the Cutter family. But she did nothing
-of the kind. She said a few pleasant things, kissed the girl cordially
-on both cheeks and hoped George would make her happy, to which Helen
-replied that he had already made her happy. Then she took her leave.
-
-Helen accompanied her to the door, Mrs. Adams remained in the parlor.
-She had seen Mrs. Cutter’s transit across the street when she came to
-make this call. She had read truly the mood of George’s mother. And
-she had attended to her. She had let her know a thing or two. Now she
-stood behind the parlor curtains watching her again cross the street.
-This time it was less in the nature of a transit, she perceived,
-nodding her head grimly. Mrs. Cutter’s neck was limber, her proud look
-had disappeared. Her hat, although she had not touched it, was tilted
-absurdly to one side, as if an invisible blow had struck it. And she
-was walking hurriedly, like a person in retreat.
-
-Mrs. Cutter barely made it across her own doorsill before she began to
-wring her hands. Oh! her Father in heaven, what kind of mother-in-law
-would that woman make to poor Georgie? She received no immediate
-answer to this interrogative prayer. We never do. An answer to prayer
-comes when you wait until it is worked out somewhere in life. Her own
-suspicions answered it clearly enough, however; she must knuckle to
-some sort of courtship of that old Adams woman, or there was no telling
-what might happen.
-
-She had taken it for granted that George would bring his wife to his
-own home. One look at Mrs. Adams convinced her that if the young couple
-lived with anybody they would live with Helen’s mother. That would
-never do! Since George was determined to marry the girl the only wise
-course to follow would be to give him a home of his own. She would tell
-Mr. Cutter so, and why. He could afford to do something for George.
-He might make him a wedding present of the old Carrol place. It would
-cost something to repair the house, but anything would be better than
-sitting across the street and seeing George domesticated in the Adams
-home.
-
-All this is important to set down in order that you may realize the
-difficulty so many young people have in disentangling themselves from
-the lives of their elders and starting out for themselves. We have
-escaped the old tribal instinct in everything more than in this. The
-son is persuaded to bring his wife into his father’s house, or he does
-do it for the sake of economy. Nothing can be more disintegrating to
-the welding and growth of such a marriage.
-
-But the chief reason I have recorded what happened on this day is
-because it was by this accident of maternal jealousy that Helen came
-into possession of her house. So far from believing in any sort of
-orderly destiny, my belief is that the Fates which change and control
-our lives are as uncertain as the flight of birds. The world about us
-is filled with contending forces.
-
-Some one whom you never saw or heard of looks at the ticker in his
-office and sells out that day. The next day that little package of
-bonds or stock in your safety-deposit box is not worth the embossed
-paper they are written on. Or, you turn a street corner, meet a
-man, walk two blocks with him, learn from him something about this
-same market which he does not know he has told in the course of his
-conversation, and you get the opportunity to become a rich man in this
-same market before night. Or, you who have always been a reasonably
-decent young man meet the eyes of a woman in a crowded place, and you
-pass on with her to a fate which leads to every dishonor. You had no
-intention of doing such a thing; it is contrary to your principles and
-your habits; but you do it. So many are subject to these whirlwinds of
-fate that you cannot tell by looking at them or even by hearing them
-pray which ones are steady and safe from disaster. It all depends upon
-the compass within whether we swing at the right moment into the right
-current.
-
-Just so, if Mrs. Adams had not resented the bow of Mrs. Cutter’s neck,
-the offensive emphasis of her little wrinkle of a double chin, when
-she came to make that call, she might have received her amiably. And
-if Mrs. Cutter had been received amiably, her maternal jealousy might
-not have been so aroused and she would not have persuaded Mr. Cutter
-to give George the Carrol place. In that case the House of Helen might
-have been some other house, or no house at all. And her life would have
-been in all probability a different kind of existence. Because the
-house in which a woman lives, moves and does her duties, determines her
-character much more than the bank does in which her husband transacts
-his affairs.
-
-If the reader is another woman, and has spent her spare time for
-nearly forty years, as I have, in a sort of involuntary study of men,
-she knows, as well as I do, that there is nothing you can see with
-the naked eye or put even your gloved finger on that does determine
-the character of a man. He never breaks his own personal confidence.
-It is no use to keep either your eye or your finger on him. You will
-never know him unless he goes to pieces like the one-horse shay, after
-which it is very unfortunate to know him at all. I am putting this
-down merely to give you a line on how effervescently Helen came into
-possession of her house, though it seemed so natural that she should
-have it, and to warn you that while you think you know what will happen
-in this story, you do not know, because you do not know George. You do
-not, even if your own husband is a similar George.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX
-
-
-There is an old copy of the Shannon _Sentinel_, dated October 17, 1902,
-which contains an account of the Adams-Cutter marriage. It lies folded
-in the trunk with Helen’s last girlhood hat, and a few other things of
-that tearful nature. I do not know why women keep these little yellowed
-and faded tokens of past hopes, unless it is for the same reason they
-devote themselves cheerfully and industriously to the cultivation of
-flower gardens on their cemetery lots where their dead lie so deeply
-buried.
-
-The dim type still tells how the altar in this church was decorated
-with flowers and ferns, who played the wedding march and who performed
-the ceremony. The bride was the beautiful and accomplished daughter of
-the late Sam Adams and Mrs. Mary Adams.
-
-“Late” is the adjective you get, instead of the plain civilian title
-of “Mister” you had while you were in the flesh. It depends whether
-this exchange implies demotion or immortal inflation. But there can be
-no doubt about the significance of “Sam” in this connection. Mr. Adams
-was a carpenter, and a good one, but he never received credit in this
-present world for the concluding, dignifying syllables of his Christian
-name.
-
-In this same paragraph it tells how the bride was dressed, who her
-attendants were and what they wore. And simmers down in the last
-sentence to a description of the gowns worn by the respective mothers
-of the bride and groom. The word “exeunt” does not occur, of course;
-but that lick-and-a-promise praise of their toilettes really implies
-that this is the last prominent appearance of these worthy women.
-
-The concluding paragraph is devoted to the groom. And it is evident
-that the writer saved his most obsequious words for this final flare of
-flattery. The groom was the son of “our distinguished fellow townsman,
-Mr. George William Cutter”--a “university man”; some reference was
-made to his “sterling qualities” and bright future. He had recently
-“accepted” a position in the First National Bank where he had already
-“made an enviable record”--cordial finger pointing to “bright future.”
-“The young couple left on the noon train for a wedding tour in the
-East. Upon their return they will take up their residence in their new
-home on Wiggs Street.”
-
-You and I may both believe that either one of us could have written a
-better account of this wedding, imparted more dignity to the occasion,
-as undoubtedly a real artist might paint a more pleasing portrait of
-you or me. But for a naively truthful likeness, we both know that
-a country-town photographer surpasses the artist when it comes to
-portraying the warped noses of our countenances, the worried eye and
-the mouths we really have. This is why we avoid his brutal veracity
-when we can afford the expense. Neither one of us cares to leave the
-very scriptures of our faces to appall posterity.
-
-In the same manner, I contend there is always an artless charm, a sweet
-and scandalous candor in what appears in a country newspaper, which is
-more refreshing and informing than the elegance of our best writers
-in the use of words. For example, does not the _Sentinel’s_ account
-furnish a clearer picture and even a more intimate interpretation of
-this bride and groom and the whole scene, than you could possibly
-receive of a fashionable wedding from the social columns of a big
-city paper? Personally, I have frequently been offended by the cool,
-bragging insolence of these announcements of city weddings, as if
-all we were entitled to know is that they can afford the pomp and
-circumstance; nothing about their “bright future,” or the bride’s
-“accomplishments,” or the groom’s “sterling qualities” to bid for our
-interest and good will. Why swagger in print about being married? It is
-not a thing to boast about, but to be humble about, and to entreat the
-prayers of all Christian people, that they may behave themselves, keep
-their vows and do the square thing by each other and society.
-
-George and Helen returned to Shannon and their new home on Wiggs Street
-the last of October.
-
-Helen was far more beautiful than she had ever been, with that sedate
-air young wives acquire before they are becalmed by the stupefying
-monotony of love, peace and duty. The lines in George’s handsome young
-face were firmer. He had that look of resolution men of his type show,
-before it is confirmed into the next look of arrogance and success.
-
-When Helen and George became engaged in August the Carrol house was
-simply an old gray farmhouse, overtaken years ago by the spreading
-skirts of Shannon, but never assimilated. This was due to the fact that
-when Wiggs Street was lengthened, it must be made straight whatever
-happened. The old house was left far to one side on a wide lawn. No one
-lived in it. Altheas and roses bloomed among the weeds, like gentle
-folk who have lost their station in life and make common lot with the
-mean and the poor. Grass grew between the bricks of the walk which
-led to the front door. There was a hedge of bulbous-bodied boxwood on
-either side of this walk. The windows of the old house looked out on
-this green and growing desolation with the vacant stare they always
-have in an empty house.
-
-But since the end of August carpenters, plasterers and painters had
-swarmed over it and through it. Laborers had cleaned and cleared and
-pruned. At last came van loads of carpets, furniture and draperies.
-These had been smoothed, placed and hung inside. Now it looked like
-the same old house that had suddenly come into a modest fortune, gone
-to town and bought itself a lot of nice things to wear. Not a gable
-had been changed, but the new roof had been painted green. The walls
-were so white that they glistened. The windows were so clean that they
-looked like the bright eyes of a lady with her veil lifted.
-
-On the evening of her first day in this house, Helen stood on the
-veranda waiting for George, watching the elm leaves sweeping past, a
-golden shower in the November wind. She had been very busy all day,
-not that there was anything to do, because everything had been done.
-But she had been going over her possessions, feeling the fullness
-and vastness of her estate. She had silver, yes, and fine linen. Her
-furniture was good, golden oak, every piece. Her rugs were florescent,
-very cheerful.
-
-She needed more furniture; the rooms looked sparsely settled,
-especially the parlor. A bookcase would help, and a few pictures on the
-walls, but all in good time. She would be contented, ask for nothing
-else. She meant to be a thrifty, helpful wife, do her own work, take
-care of George. She was simply speechlessly happy. So it was just as
-well she had no one to talk to. She wished to be alone except for
-George, to concentrate upon all this joy. It seemed too good to be
-true. She had this house, to be sweetened into a home, and all these
-things; above and transcending everything, she had George. She was
-absolutely sure of him. Is there anything more certain than sunshine
-when the sun shines?
-
-This day was a criterion of all her days. She was very busy. She
-expected to find time for her music, and to read a little. She must
-keep up with what was going on for George’s sake, so that she would
-be an intelligent companion for him. But she never found time;
-besides, George cared less than she had supposed for music, and he
-was strangely indifferent to intelligent conversation, seeing what an
-intelligent man he was.
-
-Sometimes she returned a few calls, merely from a sense of duty. She
-was never lonely. Sometimes her mother came to lunch and spent the
-afternoon. On Sundays they went to church and had dinner with George’s
-father and mother. As the months passed, Mrs. Cutter frequently asked
-her how she “felt.” She always felt well and told her so. She did not
-notice that Mrs. Cutter took little pleasure in her abounding health.
-The spring and summer passed. She was very busy in her garden among the
-flowers.
-
-One day Mrs. Adams warned her against taking so much violent exercise.
-
-“But why?” Helen asked, standing up with a trowel in her hand,
-radiantly flushed.
-
-Mrs. Adams said nothing. She merely measured her daughter this way and
-that with a sort of tape-line gaze.
-
-“I like working out here, and I am perfectly well,” Helen insisted.
-
-“A married woman never knows when she is perfectly well. It is your
-duty to be careful,” was the reply.
-
-Helen flushed and remained silent. She felt that her mother was
-staring at her inquisitively through this silence as she had sometimes
-seen her peep through the drawn curtains before a window to satisfy her
-curiosity or her anxiety.
-
-When at last Mrs. Adams took her departure, Helen went in, closed the
-door of her room and sat down on the side of her bed.
-
-I do not know how it is with men, but there are thoughts a woman
-cannot think if the door is open, even if there is not another soul
-in the house. Helen was now engaged in this sort of secret-prayer
-contemplation of herself, a slim, pretty figure, sitting with her knees
-crossed, hands folded, lips parted, eyes fixed in a long blue gaze upon
-the clean white walls of this room.
-
-So that was it! She was the object of--anticipation which had not
-been--rewarded. The color in her cheeks deepened. She recalled this
-question, that remark, made by George’s mother. She understood the
-curious look of suspense with which Mrs. Cutter frequently regarded
-her. She wished to remind her of a duty she owed the Cutter family.
-The meaning of it all was perfectly clear to her now. As if it was
-anybody’s business! She was indignant by this time. She began to
-shake one foot. Her eyes flew this way and that, like the wings of a
-distracted bird. She was really arguing fiercely with George’s mother,
-saying the things which we never dare to say in fact. She flounced,
-bobbing up and down on the springs beneath her, set her impatient foot
-down, closed her lips firmly and looked really fierce. Evidently she
-was getting the better of this argument, chiefly, no doubt, because
-Mrs. Cutter was not there.
-
-Suddenly she lifted her left hand, counted the fingers and in turn used
-up all the fingers of her right hand in this triumphant enumeration.
-Yes, she had been married exactly ten months. Not a year yet. Why was
-everybody in such a hurry, even her mother?
-
-Then something happened. She became very still, as you do sometimes
-when the future, which always keeps its bright back to you, suddenly
-turns around and permits you to behold the face of the years to come.
-The color faded from her cheeks; her eyes widened into a look of
-terror. She gave a gasp and buried her face in the pillow.
-
-Oh, God, oh, her Father in heaven, suppose it should always be like
-this! Suppose she lived to be an old woman and never had a child. Doing
-just the same things over, alone in the house. Nothing to look forward
-to all day except George’s return at the end of it. And nothing for
-him to expect except herself coming from the kitchen to welcome him
-and hurrying back again, lest something burned or boiled over if she
-delayed a moment. What would she be in her husband’s house if she did
-not become a mother to his children?
-
-She sprang to her feet and tore off the pink apron she was wearing over
-her summer frock. “I shall be a servant, nothing else,” she cried,
-tidying her hair before the mirror. “I shall grow old and gray; my skin
-will be yellow and, if I don’t--if we do not have children, I shall
-begin presently to look like a good servant, the kind that never gives
-notice, but just stays on and dies in the family. Oh!”
-
-She flew back to the bed, cast herself upon it and wept aloud to the
-ceiling.
-
-An audience makes hypocrites of us all. The very mirror in your room
-will do it. The best acting is always done in secret. If you could see
-that little mouse of a woman whom you never suspect of having more than
-the timid sniff of an emotion, charging up and down the room in her
-nightdress, tearing her hair and raving with her eyes, making no sound
-lest you should hear her, you would be astonished. And she might be
-no less amazed if she could see you carrying on like a proud female
-Cicero, delivering the mere gestures of an eloquent oration. No acting
-we ever see on the stage equals the histrionic ability of the least
-talented woman when it comes to these bed-chamber theatricals of her
-secret emotions.
-
-Helen was calmer when George returned from the bank an hour later. She
-met him as usual. But the sight of him unnerved her. She flung herself
-upon his breast and clung to him, as if a strong wind was blowing which
-might sweep her away from him forever.
-
-“Helen! My heart, what is the matter?” he exclaimed.
-
-She sobbed.
-
-“Are you ill?” he said, turning her face so that it lay upon his
-breast, chin quivering, eyes closed.
-
-No, she was not ill, she said. The white lids lifted. She regarded
-him sorrowfully. “Only I want to ask you something. I must know,” she
-whispered.
-
-“Ask anything; only don’t cry. I can’t stand it,” kissing her.
-
-“George,” she began after a pause.
-
-“Yes, my life,” in grave suspense.
-
-“Am I a good wife?”
-
-Good heaven! What a question. Of course she was, the best and
-loveliest wife a man ever had.
-
-“But aren’t you--have you been disappointed in me?”
-
-“You surpass my happiest dreams of happiness,” he assured her hastily.
-Now was everything all right?
-
-Apparently not. She had gone off into another paroxysm of sobs. He
-stood with this storm of loveliness clasped to his breast amazed and
-horrified. What was the matter with Helen? He had left her calm and
-happy at noon. He found her now in torrential tears. She must be ill.
-
-He lifted her tenderly in his arms, strode down the hall to their room
-and deposited her on the bed.
-
-“You will always love me, whatever happens?” she insisted, clinging to
-his hand.
-
-He sat down beside her. He filled his lungs; he expanded himself. He
-must meet this emergency. “Helen, I could not live without loving you,”
-he exclaimed in a deep and powerful voice.
-
-“But if nothing happens, if nothing ever happens?” she wailed.
-
-He was speechless. When you are caught up without a moment’s notice and
-made to swear to every article of undying love, what else can you do?
-But she lay wilted, deadly pale, her eyes fixed upon him dolorously, as
-if he might be going to slay her with the next word. Therefore--
-
-He did not finish thinking what he was about to think. A sort of shock
-passed through him, he caught his breath, looked off, the faintest
-shade of embarrassment in this look addressed to the ceiling, but
-not painful. On the contrary you might have inferred that this was a
-pleasurable confusion. He was instantly calmed, no longer disturbed
-about Helen. He stared at her politely as at an unknown but highly
-satisfactory phenomenon. He had no experience in a case like this,
-but he had instincts. Every young husband is a father, at least by
-anticipation. His impression was that she must be soothed, kept quiet.
-
-He bent and kissed her gravely, as you kiss the Bible when you take an
-oath. “Don’t worry, my sweet; you will come around all right,” he told
-her.
-
-She turned her face away, closed her eyes in tearful despair. He had
-not answered her question. He had evaded with soft words. This would
-never do. She was beginning to weep again. He said he would go to the
-phone and call her mother.
-
-“Don’t call mother. She has been here all afternoon,” she cried.
-
-So, then Mrs. Adams knew. Well, he didn’t care if the whole world knew.
-“Helen, you must not let go like this. You will hurt yourself,” he said
-with a note of authority.
-
-Her ears heard him; her eyes caught him. For one moment she lay still
-and sobless. Then she sat up, hair streaming over her shoulders, cheeks
-reddening. “You too!” she cried. “Oh, you have all had the same thought
-in your minds. And it isn’t so,” she informed him.
-
-“Well, if nothing is the matter, what is the matter?” he demanded after
-a pause in the voice of a man sliding from the top of a climax.
-
-“That is,” covering her face with her hands. “Your mother, my mother,
-you, too, all of you have been expecting something that may never
-happen. And I did not know, did not realize until this day the meaning
-of these hints, these questions, this solicitude. It was not for me. I
-do not deserve it, you understand. I am not that way.” Oh! her Heavenly
-Father, she knew what was before her now if she never had a child. She
-would not be the same to him!
-
-“Of course you will, you silly darling,” he laughed, gathering her in
-his arms. “The fact is, I am immensely relieved.”
-
-In this wise they took a new lease on their happiness. Helen’s skies
-cleared. It was good to be free and well and just a girl “a while
-longer,” as George put it. Still this was a form of probation. That
-phrase, “a while longer,” was the involuntary admission he made of his
-ultimate expectations. For his own part, he declared it was much better
-for him to make some headway in the bank before they could really
-afford the expensive luxury of having children. Still he felt a bit let
-down at the contemplation for the first time of the bare possibility of
-his wife not bearing these children for him.
-
-Thus the first year of their married life ended and the next one began.
-In the main you can see that every sign for the future was propitious.
-These two young people had the right mind toward each other; no modern
-decadence, no desire to sidestep Nature or fail in their duty. Their
-instincts were normal, their hopes honorable.
-
-How is it then that, with all good intentions, they both missed their
-cue? It is not for me to say. My task is to tell this story and leave
-each reader to judge for himself where the blame lay. No doubt there
-will be many decisions. I have often wondered if even three judges who
-passed on the same case without knowing each other’s decision, would
-not each of them render a different judgment. But in regard to this
-matter, I may be permitted to remark in passing that most of us miss
-our cue in the business of living, whether we are escorted by the best
-intentions or a few valorous vices. And my theory is that if we live
-long enough, we shall hear the Prompter in time to make a good ending.
-If we do not, there is a considerable stretch of eternity before us
-where no doubt adjustments may be made with a wider mind.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X
-
-
-In 1913, Shannon had grown amazingly. The square was now a “plaza,”
-surrounded by handsome brick business houses. There were two or three
-factories on the outskirts of the town. The little old churches that
-used to be filled on Sabbath mornings had given place to fine churches
-with stained-glass windows, which were greatly reduced in membership.
-What I mean is that the town was prosperous, and had a beam in its eye.
-Wiggs Street was completely changed and there was some talk of changing
-the name to “Cutter Avenue.” But this was not done. Every man has his
-enemies. There were many pretentious residences now where cottages
-formerly stood. Some of them had conservatories. Nobody kept potted
-plants on the front porch, but some of them had got as far as keeping
-potted cedars on their stone gate posts and a colored man in rubber
-boots to scrub the front steps.
-
-George Cutter, no longer known as “young George” since the death of
-his father, received much credit for the growth and development of the
-town. It was Mr. Cutter who had induced certain Eastern capitalists
-to locate these factories near Shannon. He was more than a prominent
-citizen at home. He was somebody in New York. He had “influence”
-in Washington. Otherwise Shannon would never have obtained her
-hundred-thousand-dollar post office. He carried Shannon County in his
-pocket, politically speaking, and he kept his congressman in the other
-pocket, in the same figurative manner.
-
-Five years after he entered the bank, he was occupying the chair and
-desk on the left side of the door where his father sat when George
-began his career on the adding machine in the cage. Mr. Cutter,
-Senior, was still the nominal president, but he had a finer desk and
-more comfortable, less businesslike chair in the rear of his son.
-He was now a fat old man, drooling down to a heavy old age. He was
-merely president from force of habit. He did nothing but watch, with
-slumberous pride, his son paw the markets, reach out, speculate, risk
-and win, make a name for himself in the financial world.
-
-But in 1913 all this was ancient history. The young wolf had been
-just beginning then to get a toothhold. Now he had arrived. He had
-“interests” in the big corporations. When he became president, after
-the death of his father, the first thing he did was to sell this small
-building to a local trust company and build a finer, larger place for
-his bank. Here he had an office, off the directors’ room in the rear,
-as magnificent and grave as a sanctuary. And it was so proudly private
-that there was no spangled glass door leading to it visible to the
-vulgar public eye. Capitalists and promoters visited him here, but the
-regular customers of the bank rarely saw him except by accident when
-he issued from this office, hatted, spatted, coated, carrying a cane
-hooked over his arm, and stepping briskly across the lobby through
-the door to where his car stood and shone against the curb. In that
-case their eyes followed him. And if these eyes belonged to women, of
-whatever age, they were likely to exclaim, breathe or think, “What a
-handsome man!”
-
-He was more than handsome, a “presence,” almost a perfect imitation of
-elegance. He was the kind of man who kept his years under foot. He trod
-them down with so much swiftness and power in this business of getting
-on that they had not marked him. His face was smooth, his red hair
-still opulent, his eyes brilliant, masterful. When he came in or went
-out or passed by, they were always fixed on something straight ahead,
-as if you were not there, anxious to catch his glance and have the
-honor of speaking to him. Probably you wanted to remind him of how well
-you remembered when he started to work in the old bank. And you were a
-friend of his father, and had always kept your account in this bank and
-would continue to do so. But you must be a wheedling, forward old man
-to get the chance to say such things to him, because your account means
-nothing to him now, and your good memory only annoys him.
-
-The reason so many men, after they become distinguished or successful,
-get this habit of looking straight ahead when we are standing
-ingratiatingly near, wishing to claim acquaintanceship with them in
-their humbler past, is because they wish to forget this past, and
-especially you who retain the speaking tongue of it.
-
-George Cutter had outgrown Shannon. Shannon might be proud of him,
-but it could not be intimate with him. He did not belong there. He
-was a big town man. You could almost smell Wall Street as he passed
-you, Williams Street, anyhow, which is only one of the elbows of Wall
-Street--a notable perfume, I can tell you, of pop-eyed dollars and busy
-bonds that never rested, but were always being sold again.
-
-Seeing George thus, enhanced by ten additional years, you naturally
-want to know what changes have taken place in Helen.
-
-Sometimes a slender, fair woman might be seen in Cutter’s limousine,
-waiting at the curb before the bank. But if you saw her, you scarcely
-noticed her, because there was nothing distinguishing in her
-appearance. She always sat very still with her hands folded, her lips
-closed so tightly that they appeared to be primped, and with her eyes
-wide open, very blue like curtains drawn before windows, concealing
-every thought and feeling within. When Cutter came through the door
-of the bank, stepped quickly forward and swung himself into this car
-with the air of a man who has not a moment to spare, she always drew
-a trifle closer into her corner of the seat. Then they slid away
-noiselessly across the square and out Wiggs Street. Even the chauffeur
-knew that Mr. Cutter never had a moment to spare and invariably
-exceeded the speed limit.
-
-No word of greeting was exchanged between this husband and wife--not
-even a look. She did not so much as unpurse her lips to smile. His
-arrogant silence implied that he was alone in this car. Yet we must
-know that it was his wish she should come for him, since she so often
-did come and wait for him with this look of dutiful patience.
-
-The married relation is not vocative. It tends toward silence and a
-sort of dreary neutrality, arrived at by years of mutual defeats. It is
-easier for a man to be agreeable to another woman who is not his wife
-for the simple reason that he is innocent of this stranger. She knows
-none of his faults and she has not failed him in anything. And every
-woman knows that she is instinctively more entertaining to a man who
-is not her husband, even if she despises this man and truly, patiently
-loves her husband, because she is under no bond to agree with him nor
-to avoid his prejudices. There is nothing accusative or immoral in this
-fact, any more than there is in a momentary change of thought. It is
-perfectly natural, when you consider how many years they must dwell
-upon the same common sense of each other.
-
-If the weather was fine, Cutter only stopped long enough to drop Helen
-at the house. He might tell her he would be late for dinner or he might
-be late without telling her. Then he was driven at the same spanking,
-glittering speed to the golf and country club for a foursome previously
-arranged.
-
-Cutter had imported the idea of this club. As Cadmus introduced
-letters into Greece, so had he brought golf to the business men of
-Shannon. Until then middle-aged citizens accepted the sedentary habits
-of their years and went down to their graves corpulent and muscleless,
-developing only a little miserliness toward the last or a few crapulous
-vices. But now these men, grown bald and gray, who had never spent a
-surplus nickel nor taken more exercise than healthy invalids, hired
-caddies for fifty cents an hour, and spent recklessly for golf sticks
-and especially golf stockings and breeches. And they were to be seen
-any afternoon stepping springily over these links, whacking balls--for
-the ninth hole at least--with all the reared-back, straddle-legged,
-arm-swinging genuflections of enthusiastic youth. Missionaries have
-spent twenty years in the heart of Africa without accomplishing so much
-healthful good for the savages there. But in that case the idea of
-course is not to prolong the life of a savage, but to save his soul.
-Still, Cutter was a successful missionary in this matter of golf,
-because the souls of the men in Shannon had long been sufficiently
-enured to the gospel to be saved, if they could be.
-
-As for the women, that was a different matter. Very few people ever
-worry seriously about the salvation of these milder creatures. Until
-quite recently they have been so securely preserved, sheltered and
-possessed that it was actually difficult for a woman to lose her soul
-by any obvious overt transgression. Even then you could not be sure she
-had lost it, since she suffered such overwhelming martyrdom for her
-offense. And we do not know what kind balances may be arranged in the
-Book of Life for these poor victims of life in the flesh.
-
-There was also a different standard for women in the matter of outdoor
-exercise, even at so recent a date as this of which I write. They might
-caper adventuresomely in the open as girls, but the idea of a married
-woman spreading her feet and swinging her club at a ball on the golf
-links at Shannon was unthinkable. If they wanted the air, let them go
-out-of-doors; if they wanted exercise, let them go back indoors and do
-something.
-
-So Helen never accompanied her husband to the golf links. She always
-went in the house and did things that would please him, or at least
-satisfy him when he came home.
-
-They were still living in the house at the end of Wiggs Street. No
-changes had been made in it, not a stitch had been added to it. It was
-simply laundered, so to speak, once in so often with a fresh coat of
-white paint.
-
-But it was not so sparsely settled within as it had been when she came
-there as a bride.
-
-Two years after Helen’s marriage Mrs. Adams had passed away with
-no to-do about going at all. She was ill three days, very quietly
-and comfortably unconscious. Then she had gone to join that highly
-respectable class of saints in paradise to which no doubt her carpenter
-husband already belonged. Helen inherited her mother’s estate, which
-consisted of a few thousand dollars’ worth of securities in her safety
-box at the bank, the cottage on Wiggs Street and the contents of this
-cottage. The cottage was promptly sold and, together with the sale
-of the securities, furnished George with the money for his first
-successful speculation.
-
-But Helen would not part with the furniture. She had it brought to her
-own house. When she had distributed it in the rooms, the hall, all
-available spaces were filled with it. Her father’s portrait, done in
-crayon, hung above the parlor mantel. Her mother’s portrait, also a
-crayon, hung on the opposite wall. For years to come these two Adams
-parents were to stare at each other in a grim silence, as much as to
-say, “There will be a reckoning in this house some day!” which was
-due, of course, to the crudely veracious expression the amateur artist
-always gets with a crayon pencil. For at that time there was nothing
-but love and happiness and hope in this house. George was really
-planning then to build a mansion where this house stood. For a while
-they amused themselves drawing plans for this mansion. Then George
-became more and more absorbed in his business. He had less time for
-fanciful conversation with Helen. In any case the subject of the new
-house was dropped. It had not been mentioned for years.
-
-I suppose if there had been children the new house would have been
-built. But nothing had “happened.” Helen kept a cat, a canary bird
-and two servants. The cat was a sort of serial cat, exchanged once in
-so often for a kitten. The bird was the same one. She did not really
-care for cats, nor much for canaries, but they served the purpose of
-furnishing some sort of sound and motion in this silent house. She did
-not want the servants, either. She preferred to do her own work. She
-would have made an excellent wife for a poor man. She was a marvelously
-good one to George, who was rapidly becoming a rich man.
-
-She might have been a wonderful caretaker of a great man; she had
-exactly the right spirit of service and self-effacement. She developed
-a serene silence which was restful, never irritating. But George was
-not and never would be a great man. He needed a brilliant woman, and
-Helen was only a beautiful woman. He needed a charming hostess for his
-home, with social gifts. And Helen was only an excellent housekeeper.
-He knew that this house was atrociously furnished, but he did not know
-how it should be furnished. You may be highly appreciative of music
-without being a musician. He felt the need of fine, quiet things and
-neutral tones in his home, but he had neither the time nor the ability
-to achieve these effects.
-
-Once, indeed, shortly after Helen had rearranged the parlor with the
-old Adams whatnot and the Adams sofa with a golden-oak spindle back,
-he had sent out two handsome mahogany armchairs, his idea being to
-overcome the monotonous color and cheapness of this room. These chairs
-looked like two bishops at a populist meeting. Helen was pleased, but
-he had sense enough to know that he had blundered.
-
-I am merely giving you his side of this affair, frankly admitting that
-she was by nature disqualified to fill the position of wife to such
-a man. In the last analysis, of course, it would depend upon which of
-these two people such a man as George Cutter or such a woman and wife
-as Helen is the worthier type, or the more serviceable to his day and
-generation. It is not the reaping of what we sow ourselves--sometimes
-it is the reaping of what the other fellow sowed, the way we bear the
-burden of that--which determines our quality and courage.
-
-As for Helen, the elder Mrs. Cutter said it all shortly before her
-death.
-
-One summer evening she lay propped high in bed, her thin knees sticking
-up, her thin face stingingly vivid, her eyes spiteful with pain and
-discontent. Helen had just gone home after her daily visit, during
-which she ministered with exasperating patience to this invalid. Mr.
-Cutter sat beside his wife’s bed concerned for her, anxious to comfort
-her, but secretly wondering where she would strike. For he perceived by
-the spitting spark in her eye that she was about to strike.
-
-“Helen is hopeless,” she exclaimed.
-
-He was relieved not to be the target. Still he said something in reply
-about Helen’s being a “good girl.”
-
-“Yes, and that is all she is. She is not the wife for George. I knew it
-from the first,” she keyed off irritably.
-
-Mr. Cutter ventured timidly that she had made George a “good wife.”
-
-“Good, good, good,” she repeated. “I wish somebody could think of some
-other word for her. But they can’t. Good’s the adjective she’s been
-known by all her life.”
-
-“Well, it is a very good way to be known, my dear,” he returned mildly.
-
-“There you go again. Lower my pillow, Mr. Cutter. I can’t keep my head
-up and think about her. She weighs on me like a load of commonest
-virtues.”
-
-He let her gently down. She glared at him. He smoothed her pillow.
-Would she like a sip of water?
-
-No! and she was not to be diverted, if that was what he was trying to
-do. “Do you know what a merely good woman can be?” she demanded.
-
-The word good occurred to him again. He wanted to say that there
-was nothing better than a good woman, but he refrained. He must not
-irritate Maggie; if only she would not work herself up.
-
-“She can be the least intelligent creature alive, obsessed with the
-practice of her duties. Her mind inside her, never in touch with what
-is bigger and more important outside. She can be the stone around her
-husband’s neck. That is what Helen is.”
-
-Mr. Cutter sighed. He was fond of Helen.
-
-“What has she ever done for George? I ask you that.” She waited for his
-answer as if she defied him to name one thing Helen had done to help
-her husband.
-
-“Well, she’s been a good wife to him,” he repeated futilely.
-
-“There you go again,” she exclaimed. “I’ve been a good wife to you,
-too, haven’t I?”
-
-“Indeed you have, my dear,” he answered gratefully.
-
-“But was I contented with being just that? When we came to this town as
-poor as church mice and you got the position in the bank, I made up my
-mind that you should be president of that bank some day, and you are,
-aren’t you?”
-
-“Yes, my dear, and I owe everything to you--”
-
-“Not everything, Mr. Cutter,” she interrupted with a sniff; “but I
-helped you; I made friends for you; I showed off before people to let
-them know you were prosperous and a coming man. I had some pride.”
-
-“You did, my dear. You were game and looked it,” he answered with a
-watery smile of memory in his eye.
-
-“And I bore a son for you.”
-
-“You ought not to blame Helen; you can’t--” he began.
-
-“Yes, I can,” she interrupted; “if she isn’t to have children, if poor
-George’s name is to die with him, she might at least help him enjoy his
-own career. But she doesn’t; she is becalmed. She hasn’t got it in her,
-I tell you, to do what I have done to show my pride and appreciation of
-the position you have made for us.”
-
-“But, Maggie, you are one woman in ten thousand. You have not only been
-the best of wives, you have been everything to me a man needs.”
-
-This reduced her to proud tears, and ended the scene, he holding one
-hand, she pressing a scented handkerchief to her eyes with the other.
-She was really quite happy in a sort of fiercely indignant fashion.
-
-I suppose every husband tells his wife some such yarn as this. And
-he usually gets away with it. He may even believe it for all I know,
-although there are some millions of other husbands controverting his
-testimony by the same flattery to their respective wives.
-
-We have biographies of great women, even if they are bad ones. But
-I doubt if there is a single biography to be found of a merely good
-woman, because for some reason goodness does not distinguish women,
-and for another reason, while it may make them useful, dependable and
-absolutely essential to others, it does not make them sufficiently
-interesting to hold the reader’s attention or the world’s attention.
-You never heard of one being knighted for virtue. It is not done. You
-never saw a monument raised to just one woman who was invincibly good
-and faithful in the discharge of her intimate private duties as a wife
-or a mother. She must do something publicly, like leading a reform or
-creating a disturbance.
-
-And the only feminine autobiographies I have read were written by women
-who should not have done so. They have been without exception written
-by some ignobly good woman, with every mean and detestable use of her
-virtues at the expense of other people, or they were indecent exposures
-of moral degeneracy and neurasthenic disorders. Good women cannot write
-their autobiographies. The poor things are inarticulate. They lack the
-egocentricity essential for such a performance. This statement stands,
-even if the author eventually publishes some such looking-glass of
-herself.
-
-I would not discourage any woman who is preparing to make of herself
-a sacrifice wholly acceptable to her husband and family, but it is my
-honest conviction that it will not pay her in this present world. And
-that she will wind up like the sundown saint of herself, respected,
-held in affectionate regard, maybe, but unhonored and unsung. So go
-ahead with your sacrifice, but do not complain about it. Men, as well
-as gods, accept sacrifices, but they rarely ever return the compliment.
-
-Helen Cutter belonged to this class. The first years of her marriage
-passed happily enough. She was not too good. She was often exacting in
-her pretty, soft, white way. But she always produced this impression of
-whiteness and simplicity. She was in the confidence of her husband to
-this extent, she knew how rapidly he was forging ahead in business. She
-marveled at the swiftness with which he turned over money and doubled
-it. And she never questioned his methods.
-
-Then the time came when business engrossed him to the exclusion of
-every other interest. He was obliged to make frequent trips to money
-markets in the East and the West. He began to be hurried, preoccupied,
-irritable.
-
-This is the history of many successful men in the married relation. It
-usually results in the wife’s finding another life of her own, in her
-children, in social diversions or some other activity. Cutter wished
-for this solution for his wife. He provided her amply with funds. But
-it seemed that she did not know how to spend money foolishly. She was
-invincibly moral about everything. She performed her tea-party duties
-at regular intervals without any distinction as a hostess, paid a few
-calls and remained a “home body.”
-
-She perceived the change in her husband. He was not now the man she had
-married. He was no longer even of her class. She could not keep up with
-him. She knew that she was not even within speaking distance of him,
-because she could not talk of the things he talked about. Finances,
-big enterprises, the plays in New York, life in New York. The one bond
-which might have held them did not exist. She had no children.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI
-
-
-A trivial circumstance finally enlightened her as to the length and
-breadth of the distance between them.
-
-One morning at the breakfast table Cutter looked at his wife
-appraisingly. They had been married eleven years. She was still pretty,
-but it was a beauty maturing into a sort of serenity, no vivacity. She
-had, in fact, a noble look. Stupid women do frequently get it. He had
-long since made up his mind that Helen was, to say the least of it,
-mentally prismatic. She had no elasticity of charm. Still he resolved
-to risk her.
-
-“Helen, Shippen gets in from New York this afternoon. I want to bring
-him out here for dinner. Do you think you can manage it?” he asked.
-
-“The dinner? Why, yes, of course, George,” she replied, having no
-doubt about being able to manage a dinner. This Mr. Shippen could not
-possibly be more exacting than George was himself.
-
-“He is coming down to look at that pyrites mine I want to sell. We
-are going to get into this war, and the Government is bound to need
-pyrites. Shippen is tremendously rich, something of a sport, I imagine.
-He was rather nice to me when I was in New York last month, introduced
-me to a lot of men I need to know,” he explained. “So you must help me
-out by doing your best,” he added significantly.
-
-“I will, dear,” she assured him, still unperturbed.
-
-This serene confidence disturbed him. He doubted if she could put
-across the simplest meal in a correct manner. During the lifetime of
-his mother, his father had entertained such out-of-town guests; but
-these excellent parents had been dead for years. He was obliged to fall
-back on Helen.
-
-“You must do your best and look your best. You are lovely, you know.”
-
-“Am I?” she asked, not coquettishly, but as if this was an opportunity
-to assure herself about something which was causing her anxiety.
-
-“Yes, of course, you are,” he returned in a matter-of-fact tone.
-This was no time to get personal with his wife. He wanted her to do
-something and do it well.
-
-“Wear that gown I bought you from Madame Lily’s,” he suggested.
-
-“Oh! must I?” she exclaimed as if she asked, Would it be as bad as that?
-
-“The very thing, and wear the necklace.”
-
-She said she would, but what she thought was that if she must dress
-like this she could not stay in the kitchen and help Maria with the
-dinner, and Maria was not to be trusted. She was “heavy handed” when it
-came to salt, for example. Her chief concern was for the dinner, not
-herself. She always missed her cue.
-
-Nevertheless, Shippen had the shock of his swift life when he was
-presented to Mrs. Cutter that evening.
-
-The weather was very cold. A bright fire burned in the grate. A
-chandelier of four lights overhead left scarcely a shadow in this
-cheap little parlor. Everything in it glared. The white walls stared
-you out of countenance. The golden-oak piano turned a broadside of
-yellow brilliance across the flowered rug. The whatnot showed off.
-The spindle-back sofa fairly twinkled varnish. Inanimate things can
-sometimes produce the impression of tittering excitement. The furniture
-in this pop-eyed room seemed to be expecting company. Only the two
-mahogany armchairs on either side of the fireplace preserved their
-gravity and indifference, as if they had been born and bred to be sat
-in by the best people.
-
-Shippen saw all this at a glance; at least he felt it without knowing
-what ailed him. Later he was to quail in a sort of artistic anguish
-beneath the cold, calm, crayon gaze of that excellent carpenter, the
-late Sam Adams, whose portrait still hung above the mantel. And he was
-to feel the colder, grimmer crayon eyes of the late Mrs. Mary Adams
-piercing him between the shoulder blades from the opposite wall. But
-that which riveted his attention this first moment when he entered the
-room with Cutter was Mrs. Cutter.
-
-She stood on the rug before the fire, a slim figure, but not tall. She
-was wearing a cloth gown of the palest rose lavender, the bodice cut
-low, fitting close to her white shoulders, lace on it somewhere like a
-mist, a wildly disheveled bow of twisted black velvet that seemed to
-strike at him, it was so vivid by contrast with all this gem paleness
-of color. A necklace of opals, very small and bound together by the
-thinnest thread of gold, with a pendant lay upon her breast. Her pale
-blond hair was dressed simply, bound about her head like piety, not
-a crown. No color in her skin, only the soft pink lips, sweetened
-somehow by that pointed flute in the upper lip, long sweeping brows,
-darker than her hair, spread like slender wings above the wide open
-blue eyes, seeing all things gravely, neither asking nor giving
-confidences.
-
-“This is Mr. Shippen, Helen. My wife, Shippen,” George finished
-cheerfully.
-
-He had made a hasty survey of Helen. She would do, he decided, if only
-she would go, move off, say the right thing.
-
-Helen offered her hand. She was glad to meet Mr. Shippen.
-
-He bowed over this hand, very glad, and so forth and so on.
-
-She said something about the weather; he did not notice what she said
-nor what he answered; something about the same weather of course. But
-whatever he said had not released him from her gaze. She kept him
-covered. Cutter had joined in with his feelings and opinion on the
-weather. What was said made no difference. Shippen had to keep his eyes
-down or running along the floor, not on Mrs. Cutter. Men do that when
-they are startled or ill at ease with a woman, if they are uncertain
-about where to place her in the category of her sex. Shippen was very
-uncertain on this point. He had seen many a woman better gowned, more
-beautiful, but never had he seen one with this winged look.
-
-“Are we late?” Cutter asked, addressing his wife.
-
-“No,” she answered briefly, as if words were an item with her.
-
-“Well, anyhow we are hungry,” he laughed. “Took Shippen out for a
-little winter golf. Links rotten after all this rain. No game. All we
-got was an appetite.”
-
-Shippen glanced at Cutter. For the first time he recognized Cutter.
-Smart fellow, pipping his village shell. But, good heaven, this room!
-Might have got further than this in his scenery.
-
-He went on catching impressions. He felt very keen. It occurred to
-him suddenly that Cutter’s wife was responsible for the room. This
-fellow who could fly like a kite in the markets couldn’t fly here
-or move or change anything. Odd situation. If this was her taste in
-house furnishing, who chose her frock for her? She was dressed like a
-fashionable woman, and she looked like a madonna; not virginal, but
-awfully still like the image of something immortally removed. She gave
-him a queer feeling. Still it was distinctly a sensation; he handed it
-to her for that.
-
-All this time Cutter was talking like a man covering some kind of
-breach, laughing at the end of every sentence. He heard himself making
-replies, also laughing. Nothing from Mrs. Cutter. He looked across at
-her seated in the other mahogany chair, and dropped his eyes. Her gaze
-was still fixed on him, no shadow of a smile on her face. He understood
-why instantly. This was not mirth, this was laughter he and Cutter
-were executing as people do when they make conversation. He was amazed
-at this woman’s independence. She had nothing to say and said it in
-silence. She heard nothing amusing, therefore she was not smiling. She
-was not even embarrassed.
-
-It all depends upon your experience and angle of vision what you see in
-another person. This is why your husband may discover that some other
-woman understands him better than you do. She knows him better than
-you do because she knows more about men than you do. And if there is
-anything that weakens the moral knees of a man quicker even than strong
-drink, it is to feel the soothing flattery of being better understood
-by another woman.
-
-Precisely in this way Shippen understood Helen, and knew perfectly
-that Cutter was not the man who could do it. She was invincible, he
-saw that; stupid, he saw that. And he was enough of a connoisseur
-in this matter to realize that intelligence would sully this lovely
-thing. Merriment would be a facial transgression. She was that rare
-and most mysterious of all creatures, a simply good woman without the
-self-consciousness they usually feel in their virtues.
-
-He kept on with these reflections during dinner, which was served
-presently. He had no idea what kind of dinner it was. He was assembling
-plans for a speculation. He had been successful in many lines besides
-those involving money.
-
-“You come to New York occasionally, don’t you, Mrs. Cutter?” he asked,
-endeavoring to engage her in conversation.
-
-“Not that often. I have been there only once,” she told him with a
-faint smile. She had referred to her wedding journey without naming it.
-At that time she and George had spent a week in New York.
-
-“You liked it, of course?” Shippen went on.
-
-“It is like a book with too many pages, too many illustrations, too
-many quotations, isn’t it?” she evaded.
-
-Shippen threw back his handsome black head and laughed.
-
-Cutter shot a bright glance at his wife and joined in this applause.
-He had no idea she could think anything as good as that to say. And she
-could not have done so if he had asked the question.
-
-“What I mean is that one must live there a long time before he could
-know whether he liked it or not,” she explained.
-
-“Well, I think you would,” he answered, meaning some flattery which she
-did not get.
-
-Having said so much, she had nothing else to say. The two men went on
-with this discussion of New York life. Cutter was determined to let
-Shippen know that he was no stranger to it--old stuff, such as brokers
-and buyers get, under the impression that they are bounding up the
-social ladder of the great metropolis. Shippen heard him give quite
-frankly his café experiences, not omitting soubrettes. No harm in what
-he was telling, of course, but as a rule men didn’t do it at home.
-
-Once or twice he glanced at Mrs. Cutter, ready to come to heel, change
-the subject if he saw the faintest shade of annoyance on her face.
-There was no shade there at all, only a calm, clear look. And this look
-was fixed on him as if he were a page she read out of the book of this
-city. Apparently she was indifferent to what Cutter was saying. He
-decided that she was not jealous of her husband.
-
-He wondered if Cutter had the least conception of the kind of woman his
-wife was. He thought not. Some day she would stand immovable in the
-way of his ambitions, he decided. In that case what would Cutter do?
-This was--well, it might prove very interesting. He went on speculating
-personally along this line.
-
-The reason why so many men try to climb Mount Everest is because they
-cannot do it. Let even one reach the summit, and that exalted peak
-has fallen into the hands of the tame geographers and scientists. It
-becomes a business then, not an adventure, to chart those terrific
-altitudes. For the same reason the most attractive woman to men is
-the unattainable woman. Shippen found Mrs. Cutter attractive. He did
-not analyze the reason why. It was not her beauty. He had had success
-with far more beautiful women. He doubted his success here. Heavens!
-To find a woman who could not be won! What an adventure. That steady,
-unrevealing gaze in her blue eyes--what did it conceal? What did she
-know? He doubted if she knew anything. That was it; she was something
-real, not built up out of little knowledges, little virtues, spiced
-with little vices, and finished like her furniture with the varnish of
-feminine charms. What a noble change from the skittish kittens and the
-secret viragoes and the mercenary starlings he had known.
-
-It is astonishing what terrible things a man can be thinking, while he
-looks at you frankly and laughs honestly and takes your food like a
-brother. Certainly Cutter would have been astonished if he had known
-what was passing through the mind of his guest as they talked and
-laughed together at this table. But it is a question if Helen would
-have been moved. She did not know this man, but she felt him like a
-darkness, in no way personal to her, but there, with George frisking
-around like an ambitious spark in this blackness. She was thinking of
-George chiefly, interpreting him according to Shippen. It was a fearful
-experience, and no one suspected her pain, because a woman can dig her
-own grave and step down into it behind the look and the smile and the
-duty she gives you, and it may be years before you discover that she is
-gone.
-
-All this is put in for the emotional reader who knows it is the truth,
-and has probably felt the sod above herself, even while she is sadly
-dressing beautifully for an evening’s pleasure with a husband who
-has slain her or a lover whose perfidy has brought on these private
-obsequies. But all such truth is unhealthy, like the failure of courage
-in invalids. And in this particular I warn you that the fate of Helen
-differs from your own. She died a few times, as the most valorous women
-do; but she had a sublime instinct for surviving these incidental
-passings.
-
-Shortly after dinner Cutter took Shippen back to his hotel. They had
-some affairs to discuss further before he should leave on the early
-morning train. Cutter explained to Helen, because this was unusual. It
-was his invariable habit to spend his evenings at home. He was a good
-husband, according to the strictest law of the scribes and Pharisees,
-so to speak. What I mean is that he was literally faithful to his wife,
-though you may have suspected to the contrary. This is not the author’s
-fault, but due to the evil culturing of your own mind. A man may be
-faithful to his wife, and at the same time frisk through the night life
-of a place like New York. He may be doing nothing worse than taking a
-whiff and an eyeful of the naughty world, getting something to talk
-about to the other fellows when he comes home. It is silly, but not
-wicked, as you are inclined to believe. I do not know why it is that so
-many respectable women are disposed to suspect the worst where men are
-concerned; but it is a fact which even their pastors will not deny.
-
-When Cutter came in that night Helen had retired. He turned on the
-light. “Asleep, my dear?” he asked.
-
-“No,” she replied in that tone a woman has when her voice sounds like
-the nice, small voice of your conscience.
-
-He came and sat down on the side of the bed, regarded her cheerfully,
-like the messenger of good tidings. She lay very flat, hands folded
-across her breast, face in repose, no expression, eyes wide open, a
-state of self-consciousness bordering onto unconsciousness which women
-sometimes sink into as a sort of last ditch.
-
-Cutter was so elated about something he did not observe that his wife
-was dying momentarily. He wanted to talk. He had something to tell her.
-“You were splendid to-night, Helen,” he began.
-
-She revived sufficiently to ask him if the dinner was “all right.”
-
-“Dinner!” he exclaimed. “I scarcely noticed what we had to eat. You
-took the shine off the dinner. You were stunning. Means a lot to a man
-for his wife to--make good; sets him up. Shippen was impressed, I can
-tell you that.”
-
-Shippen! She did not speak the name, but her glance, slowly turned on
-him, meant it.
-
-“How did you like him?” he wanted to know.
-
-“I did not like him,” she answered distinctly.
-
-He stared at her. Her respiration was the same; her eyes coldly
-impersonal. He sprang to his feet, kicked off his shoes, flung off his
-clothes, snapped off the light and retired to the bitter frost of that
-bed. He lay flat, clinched his hands across his breast and worked his
-toes as if these toes were the claws of a particularly savage beast.
-His chest rose and fell like bellows. His red brown eyes snapped in the
-dark.
-
-Helen was the antidote for success, he reflected furiously. She was the
-medicine he had to take, a depressant that kept him down when he might
-have been up. Just let him get the wind in his sails, and she reefed
-him every time. He had been patient, leaving her to have her own way
-when it was not his way. Hadn’t he lived in his own house with those
-blamed Adams pictures glaring at him for nine years? Yet he had endured
-them for Helen’s sake. And the druggets, and the very cast-off teacups
-of Helen’s family.
-
-Right now he was lying in old Mrs. Adams’ bed and had done so for nine
-years, when he much preferred his own bed. He had tried to bring Helen
-out, and she would not be moved. He had tried to dress her according
-to her station in life, and she would not be dressed. He had humored
-her in everything. But now when he had an opportunity, a big chance
-which he could not take without her, she planted her feet as usual.
-She obstructed him at every turn. She didn’t like Shippen. That showed
-which way the wind would blow when he told her. And he had to tell her.
-He could not move hand or foot without her. But, by heaven! if she
-didn’t come across this time--
-
-“George,” came a voice from the adjacent pillow.
-
-“Umph!” he answered, startled out of finishing that threat he was about
-to think.
-
-“You asked me, or I should not have told you what I think of Mr.
-Shippen. But since you want to know--”
-
-“I don’t want to know. I am trying to get a little sleep. I’m tired,”
-he interrupted.
-
-“But since you ask,” she went on, “I think he is horrible. He reminds
-me of the powers and principalities of darkness. He made my flesh
-creep--”
-
-“For the love of peace, Helen, stop. You know absolutely nothing about
-him.”
-
-“Yes, I do.”
-
-“What?”
-
-“I know that he is wicked.”
-
-“How do you know?”
-
-“I feel it.”
-
-He snorted and turned over. He slept that night with his back to this
-slanderer, who did not sleep at all.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII
-
-
-The next day George Cutter’s spirits had revived and with them a
-certain hope. He resolved to have it out with Helen. She was not
-reasonable. Few women were, but he knew that she loved him. He might
-count on that.
-
-In the evening after dinner they sat before the fire in the parlor.
-Helen wore a dark dress, plain, durable, unbecoming. He considered this
-dress, the woman in it, with a coolly impartial eye. His heart failed
-him. He doubted if she could pull it off if she would. If, for example,
-she could be made to realize the importance of dressing handsomely and
-extravagantly every day. If she could be induced to live the life she
-would have to live. He admitted it was a sort of puppet existence. But
-as necessary to his success as the dummies in a shop window are to
-advertise the owner’s trade. Ten thousand women did it all the time,
-liked it. Still Helen was not one of them. She was removed by nature,
-every instinct, from that class. He was half a mind to give up the
-whole thing. At this moment, Helen looked across at him. There was
-a hint of tears in her eyes, a fugitive smile on her lips as if this
-smile pleaded with him for a certain forgiveness.
-
-He laughed. He stood up and took her in his arms.
-
-“Am I all right now, George?” she asked, as if she had been shriven by
-this embrace.
-
-“Absolutely,” he assured her.
-
-They sat down. Helen sighed, being now full of that sad peace which
-makes sighs.
-
-“The trouble with you is, dear, that you are never wrong. That cuts you
-out of life. We who are in the thick of it must be a little wrong,” he
-explained.
-
-“I suppose so,” she agreed.
-
-“Not so rigid. We can’t be,” he said.
-
-She agreed to that also.
-
-“If you could be a little less perfect, it would help me a lot.”
-
-She smiled, implying that in that case she was in a position to help
-him. But what could she do? She had often felt how little service she
-was.
-
-Her meekness intrigued him. “How would you like to live in New York?”
-he asked.
-
-“I would not like it,” she answered after a pause.
-
-He might have known what her answer would be, Cutter reflected
-bitterly. His face reddened. His anger was rising.
-
-“Why? Do you want to live there?” she asked, feeling this silence
-directed against her.
-
-“Oh, it makes no difference what I want, because if we lived on
-separate planets you could not differ more widely than you do from my
-way of life and my desires, my very needs,” he exclaimed.
-
-This was unjust, she knew. Still she felt guilty.
-
-“George, I can’t pretend that I should like to live in New York, but if
-you want to go there, I will go. I must not stand ever in the way of
-your success.”
-
-He sat in brooding, bitter silence, staring into the fire.
-
-“We might live very quietly; at least I could, couldn’t I?” she asked
-timidly, ready to make every other concession.
-
-“No; you could not. You’d have to play the game as other women do. You
-would not do that. You--your whole mind is against the idea--you would
-not adjust yourself. You would not even try to adjust yourself to the
-world as it is. You want to make one yourself, six hundred feet long
-and seven hundred feet wide with this house in the middle of it. You
-have done it. Look at it,” he exclaimed, with a glance that swept this
-room like a conflagration.
-
-This was the first time she had suspected that the parlor was not
-furnished according to his liking. She was that simple, and he had been
-that patient.
-
-“You have created a place to live in where nobody can live except as
-you do,” he went on.
-
-He took no notice of the fact that she sat with one hand on her breast,
-staring at him with a look of mortal pain.
-
-“Well, I will be more considerate of you than you can be of me, Helen,”
-he began again. “We will drop the idea of going to New York. You like
-this place. I might be contented here myself, if I had nothing to do
-except keep it. But I have my business, a man’s name and reputation to
-make. I will stay here when my affairs don’t require me to be somewhere
-else. You understand,” giving her an eye thrust.
-
-“Yes,” she answered, meeting this thrust steadily. She was dying to her
-happiness, not without reproach, but without fear.
-
-He crossed his legs and swung his foot after this deed. He did not tell
-her that Shippen had offered him a partnership in a big business the
-night before. In view of her unreasonable prejudice against Shippen,
-this information would only have furnished her with stronger objections
-to his plans.
-
-The point was that she had failed him as a helpmate in the career he
-had chosen. He purposed to alter his course accordingly. He would
-do the square thing by her. She was his wife. He had that affection
-for her; but she should not block his way. He meant to get on with
-her or--without her. Other men did. He knew successful men in New
-York, whose wives spent half their time in Europe or somewhere else.
-He supposed he might do better than that. The bank in Shannon would
-require a good deal of his time. He would come home occasionally. He
-must spend a few days out of every month there.
-
-This was the end. Helen sensed it. She saw his side of the situation.
-She had failed her husband. She had been obliged to do so. He had never
-expressed the least regret because she had not borne children, but
-she knew that if they had had children, this would have made all the
-difference. She supposed she herself might have been a different sort
-of woman if she could have been a mother. Her influence as a wife had
-never reached beyond the door of their home. Now she had failed him at
-this upward turn in his career.
-
-She had been a good wife to him according to the Scriptures, but he
-needed another kind of wife, one who could fill a public position, a
-wife according to the world. She grasped this fact clearly, held it
-before her, regarded it with remarkable intelligence during a strictly
-private interview she had with herself on this subject some time the
-next day. She wondered how many wives combined the two offices which
-George required of her. If you were the social official of his home,
-if you “played the game,” as he called it, how could you be--well, the
-kind of wife she had been to George?
-
-She thought of Shippen in connection with this reflection. She could
-not have told why, but she did. She was not so stupid as not to suspect
-that Shippen had something to do with this sudden desire that George
-had to live in New York. “Playing the game” meant coming in constant
-contact with men like Shippen, women like the women they had discussed
-that night at dinner--Shippen and soubrettes; somebody’s wife they had
-seen in a café with a man who was not her husband and whom they had
-discussed with a curious sort of grinning admiration, as if this lady
-was a lady to be reckoned with.
-
-Helen was wrong, of course, in the picture she drew of the game the
-worldly wife must play. But there was this much sanity in her point of
-view: Such a wife cannot always choose her partner nor the card she
-must play. It is a skin game, matrimonially speaking, and sometimes the
-one skinned is the husband, more frequently it is the wife, even if it
-is only the gossips who do the skinning.
-
-Helen made her way through such reflections as these, not as I have
-written them down in words, but as one walking through the dark in a
-dangerous place, with cautious steps and outstretched hands, feeling
-the edges of strange abysses with her feet, touching unknown things
-that might be alive with reptilian life.
-
-The private mental life of all women, good or bad, is usually morbid,
-consisting of thoughts or speculations which bring an emotional crisis
-and leave them in fears and tears more frequently than we can believe,
-judging by the faces they show.
-
-Helen passed at this time through some such crisis. She was not changed
-by it, because women of that sort are the “amens” of their sex. But
-she was confirmed. She remembered what George had said long ago about
-this belief in the freedom of love. She had often recalled it, always
-with a pang of terror. If she had ever been jealous of him, it was in
-this indefinite way. Now the way that led to such love seemed to widen
-before her eyes.
-
-She was alone in her room, sitting on the side of her bed during this
-scene with herself. You know by your own experience, if you are a
-married woman, that you always sit on the side of your bed when you
-are dramatizing the sadder prospects of going on doing your duty by
-this husband--or of not doing it. You chose the bed instead of a chair
-because of a potential sense of prostration. You prepare yourself to
-fall back in a storm of tears or to sink upon your knees in prayer for
-strength to bear this “cross.” The more modern woman is said frequently
-to rise unshriven, stride majestically across the room and stare at her
-own proudly rebellious reflection in the mirror.
-
-Helen did none of these things. She simply sat there, dry-eyed,
-unprayerful, not rebellious, reviewing the future. This can be done
-with amazing vividness, because the future is always a repetition and
-development of the past. Then she made a resolution. It was that later
-secret marriage vow a wife sometimes takes after she is acquainted with
-the deflation and vicissitudes of this relation. Whatever happened,
-she would be a good and dutiful wife to George. She would be patient.
-Nothing should move her to reproach him. Thus she abandoned her rights
-and self-respect. I do not say that she ought to have done this; I
-doubt it; but the fact remains that many women do it. And in the end
-they frequently become sanctuaries for disgracefully defeated husbands.
-But to say so is not to recommend the practice. My task is to show how
-it worked out in this instance. And you are warned therefore that a
-sanctuary may become a very fine edifice, even smacking a little of
-worldly grandeur.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII
-
-
-The little pale image of goodness so frequently seen sitting in
-Cutter’s car before the bank waiting for him around five o’clock in the
-afternoon was what remained of the original Helen two years after he
-had relinquished his plan to live in New York.
-
-Keeping an entirely good resolution may be strengthening to character,
-but it is fearfully damaging to feminine beauty. For one thing such
-women lose the sense of clothes. Helen had known how to dress in the
-happy, wild-rose period of her youth; but how can you keep up the
-flaunting, flowing sweetness of your draperies when you are no longer
-a girl to be won, but have become a wife who has been reduced to her
-duties and her virtues?
-
-Still, things had not been as bad for her as she had expected they
-would be. George was away from home now much of the time. He had
-interests in New York and spent at least a part of every month there.
-But she heard from him regularly, usually a wire, sometimes a brief
-note. When he was at home, it was the same old routine, except that he
-spent more time at the golf and country club.
-
-The truth was that Helen got on his nerves frightfully with her silence
-and dutifulness and patience. The impeccable wife is a difficult
-proposition, if you tackle it. Cutter instinctively avoided the issue.
-He accepted Helen for this awfully “better” woman than he had bargained
-for. There was none of that human “worse” in her, so amply provided for
-in the marriage ceremony, with which to vary the monotony of their life
-together. Often he wished for a stormy scene, such as by nature married
-people are entitled to have. If he was irritable, she left him alone.
-If he was calm, she would come and sit and sew a fine seam in a sweet
-silence that was perfectly maddening. If he flung the paper he was
-reading on the floor, slammed his feet down and groaned, she would look
-up at him, then drop her eyes once more to this seam--or she would rise
-and leave the room noiselessly.
-
-Good heavens! He could not stand it, meaning “her.” Why didn’t she
-complain that he neglected her? Why didn’t she say something, show
-some spirit? Why didn’t she appeal to his conscience? That was what a
-wife was for--one thing, at least. If she would only show some fight,
-he might regain control of himself; as it was, he was slipping. Why
-couldn’t she see that and stop him? He really wanted to slow up; but
-how was a man to do it with his wife letting him go like this?
-
-Cutter was the kind of man who would eventually account for his
-transgression by saying if he had married another sort of woman he
-might have been a better man. In that case, you may be sure, if his
-wife had married a totally different kind of man, she would have been a
-happier woman.
-
-Meanwhile Helen was prepared for the worst. This is a terrific
-preparation, but sometimes the only one a woman can make; and it
-leaves her in a singularly placid state of mind. If she had understood
-the situation, she might have behaved differently. But she did not
-understand Cutter.
-
-The woman who knows only one man never knows much about him. To
-understand a husband, you must do a lot of collateral reading of
-mankind. He is all of them, from the best to the worst. You are not so
-apt then to be mystified by his various manifestations. And if you have
-any sense of the proper courage of your sex, you will act according to
-his symptoms, not your own sanity, even if it is to burst into tears
-and cry: “Undone! Undone! Oh, my God!”
-
-He will fall for it and react every time; because God, upon whom you
-have just called, no doubt having your emergencies in view, has created
-men so that almost without exception they have no defense against a
-weeping woman.
-
-At the same time it is the worst possible governing principle not
-to vary your tears with laughter, tyranny and some sort of lovely
-unreasonableness. Men cannot endure a perfectly logical and sane woman.
-She is too much like a petticoated edition of themselves. They want
-action. You must keep your ball rolling, you must convince your husband
-of your mental inferiority and of your tender superiority.
-
-Helen, poor girl, was not that much smarter than her husband. She was
-straight. She lacked the dearer deviousness of her sex, and, within her
-limits, was utterly all to the good. Whether a state of unmitigated
-morality is profitable is a thing I have always wanted to know. And
-in the course of a long life, the only answer I have ever been able
-to find is that any state bordering on immorality, or unmoralness, is
-sure to prove unprofitable. The difference between these two equations
-offered the only light at the time on Helen’s future.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV
-
-
-In April of 1917 this country joined the Allies in the Great War. The
-nation was transfigured with that spiritual and sacrificial emotion
-which invariably follows the sending of vast armies of men to be
-slain. The profits on patriotism were enormous for those who knew how
-to do business at the expense of the people. Cutter was one of these
-eminently sane profiteers. He had doubled his fortune during the first
-few months. He remained in New York most of the time. He had been away
-from home the whole of July.
-
-One morning early in August he arrived at the door of his own house in
-Shannon. Helen had not expected him. She was flustered. Breakfast had
-been served, but she would have another breakfast prepared at once.
-
-No, George explained briefly, he had had something on the train; she
-was not to trouble herself on his account.
-
-This consideration was unusual. Well, he must go in and lie down; she
-knew he must be worn out, Helen suggested.
-
-No, he was not tired; and no, he would not go in and lie down.
-
-He behaved like a visitor in the house. But he remained at home all
-day, puttering about the house and garden with a curious gentle air.
-After lunch he took a nap on the sofa in the parlor. To Helen’s
-question as to whether he would go out for some golf as usual, he had
-replied that he would not play golf and that she might have an early
-dinner. Afterwards she remembered a faint embarrassment in his manner
-during the whole of this day, as if it were an effort to talk or reveal
-the simplest word of himself. But at the time Helen was pleased without
-questioning why he was behaving in this vaguely domestic fashion.
-
-Late in the afternoon she had followed him into the garden, seated
-herself on a bench there with her hands folded--merely present, you
-understand. Cutter continued to pace slowly back and forth along the
-walk. Helen observed him gently. She thought he looked spent. She was
-glad he was taking the day off; this was all she thought about that.
-
-Now and again Cutter regarded his wife with a sort of remorseful
-tenderness. He was experiencing one of those futile reactions a bad man
-has toward ineffable goodness when he knows he is about to be rid of
-the burden and reproach of it. Presently he came and sat down beside
-her in the sweet, unaccusing silence she always made for him.
-
-Her skin was still very fair, her hair darker, with golden lights, her
-brows much darker, the same blue eyes, white lidded. Strange he had
-never noticed before that the clothes she wore were like her--this
-grave little frock she was wearing now, white, sheer, like a veil, long
-pretty sleeves, a kind little waist with darts in it to fit her figure.
-Who but Helen would ever think of taking up darts in her bodice this
-year when every other woman was fluffing herself? He smiled at this,
-but the humor of his face was neither intimate nor affectionate. It was
-a sort of grinning footnote to Helen’s character.
-
-He began presently to feel the old irritation at her silence. He
-halted, dropped down on the bench beside her, but at the other end,
-hung himself by one elbow over the back of it, crossed his legs and
-addressed her with a question which he frequently used like a key to
-turn in the lock of his wife’s silence.
-
-“Helen, if you were about to say anything, what would you say?” he
-asked.
-
-“I was just thinking,” she answered, implying that she preferred not
-to publish these thoughts in speech.
-
-But he wanted to know. His manner was that of a husband who wanted to
-start something.
-
-“If we had children,” she began, looking at him, then away from him, “I
-was wondering what they would be doing now.”
-
-His eyes widened over her, but she did not feel this amazement. Her own
-gaze appeared to be trailing these children among the flowers in this
-garden.
-
-“I often think of them,” she went on. “Our son--I always expected the
-first one to be a son--he should be quite a lad now. What do boys of
-fourteen do at this hour of the day?” regarding him with a sort of
-dreaming seriousness.
-
-He made no reply. He had slumped; with lowered lids he was staring at
-the graveled walk in front of this bench.
-
-“But the two little girls, much younger, would be here in the garden
-with us. Isn’t it strange, I always know what they would be doing,
-but not the boy. I have seen them in my heart like bright images in a
-mirror; I have heard them laugh many a time.”
-
-He was appalled. Never before had he known Helen to talk like this.
-Why was she doing it? Did she knew what was in his mind? Was she
-deliberately torturing him?
-
-“Everything would have been so different if they had lived,” she went
-on, as if she had actually lost these children, “your life and mine.
-They would have changed us, our ways and our hopes. We should have
-built the house we planned--for them,” turning to him with a dim smile.
-
-“I suppose so,” he said, obliged to answer this look; “but you know I
-have never regretted that we have no children.”
-
-“At first you wanted them,” she reminded him.
-
-“But not now. It is better as it is,” he returned moodily.
-
-“No; not for me; not for either of us,” she sighed.
-
-For the first time in her life she saw tears in his eyes.
-
-“For them?” she asked putting out her hand to him.
-
-“No, for you,” he answered, drawing back from this hand.
-
-She noticed that. Her attitude toward him was one of submission. She
-did not ask herself now why he shrank from her touch. She knew nothing
-about the psychology of passion, its strange and merciless revulsions.
-
-“A son or a daughter would be company for you now,” he said after a
-pause.
-
-“Yes; it’s been dull, not having them with me now. One grows so quiet
-inside. It must be a little like dying, to be getting older and stiller
-all the time.”
-
-He could not bear this. He had a vision of what had happened to her.
-And now it was too late; she was predestined, even as he was doomed to
-his fate.... What follies love imposed upon youth! He had loved her
-and taken her, when she belonged to another kind of man, when he might
-have been happy with another kind of woman. Now he no longer loved
-her, and the other woman might give him pleasure, but never peace or
-happiness.... He supposed, after all, there must be something moral
-about happiness. Well, then, why had he missed happiness with Helen?
-Heaven knew she was made of every virtue. And he had kept his vows to
-her. He had not actually broken faith with her--yet.
-
-He rose and walked to the other end of the garden. He stood with his
-back to Helen, still thinking fiercely, like a man trying with his
-mind to break the bonds that held him.... What a horror that this
-woman should be his wife. Nothing could change that. She was not of
-his kind. She was different; that was the whole trouble. If she were
-not his wife she would be the sort of woman he would never notice or
-meet. In view of everything--the vision of life and society, and what
-was coming to a man of his quality--he regarded it as remarkable that
-he had been so long faithful to her. It was stupid, silly, bucolic--the
-kind of husband he had been to this kind of wife!
-
-He turned. Helen was still seated on the bench. The sight of her filled
-him with irritation, a sort of peevish remorse. He was going to have
-the deuce of a time getting through his next encounter with her. He
-meant to put it off to the last minute. Meanwhile he simply must get to
-himself, away from her. If she hung about he felt that he might lose
-control of himself. And he must be careful not to say anything which he
-might regret afterwards.
-
-He came back, stepping briskly along the walk, passed her as he would
-have passed a carpenter’s wife on the street and went on toward the
-house.
-
-Helen’s eyes had met him far down the walk. They followed him until
-he disappeared around the corner of the house. Then, as if she had
-received some dreadful warning from within, she pressed her hand to
-her breast, her lips unfolded, her cheeks blanched, her eyes widened as
-if she beheld the very face of fear.
-
-What was this? George was not like himself. She was aware of some
-frightful change in him. There was a flare about him, something
-feverish, disheveled in his apparent neatness. She began to think over
-this day, his unexpected return that morning. Now that she came to
-think of it, there was no train upon which he could have arrived at
-that hour. His reserve, it was a fortification. She realized that now.
-
-She sprang up, started for the house. Something had happened, something
-horrible. What was it? She must see George. She must touch him, speak
-to him.
-
-She found him seated on the veranda with the afternoon paper spread
-before him, held up so that she could see only the top of his head, not
-his face. She stood struggling with herself. She wished to run to him,
-fling herself upon his breast and cry out: “George, what has happened?
-Do you love me? I am your wife. Kiss me.”
-
-Never had she felt like this, the nameless terror, the beating of her
-heart like hammers in her breast. And all in this maddening moment,
-she realized that she dared not approach him. He did not feel like a
-husband, but like a stranger who did not belong in this house.
-
-She stood leaning against the spindle-legged pillar of the veranda and
-waited. She did not know for what, but as if she expected a blow. And
-she wanted it to fall. She wished to be put out of this pain as soon as
-possible.
-
-Cutter laid aside his paper, stood up, swept a glance this way and that
-as if he could not decide which way to retreat, then he went inside,
-and affected to be looking for a book on the shelves in the parlor. He
-heard Helen pass down the hall, knew that she had halted a moment in
-the doorway. He felt as if he was being trailed. What he wished was
-that she would have dinner, so that he could get through with this
-business. It must be done after dinner, because he could not sit down
-to the table with her afterward.
-
-She came back presently to fetch him to this meal. She wanted to cling
-on his arm, as she used to do years ago. But he evaded her, she could
-not have told how, only that if he had shouted to her not to touch him,
-she would not have been surer of what he meant.
-
-They accomplished this dinner together. Cutter keeping his eyes
-withdrawn from her, taking his food with that sort of foreign
-correctness which a man never practices at his own table. Many times
-they had passed through a meal in silence, but not a silence like this,
-potential, strained. Once Cutter caught sight of Helen’s hand, which
-was trembling. But he spared himself the sight of her face.
-
-She scanned his, marked the new lines in it, the sullen droop to his
-eyes, usually so frank. She recalled the fact that he had not gone into
-their bedroom during this day; that he had kept to the public places in
-this house, as if it were no longer his house; that he had answered all
-her questions briefly; that in the garden he had drawn back from the
-touch of her hand; that now he was hurrying secretly to finish dining.
-She had premonitions of some unimaginable disaster which intimately
-concerned herself, but she could not bear to think what it was. By a
-forlorn faith many a woman receives strength to remain stupidly blind
-to her fate. Helen had some sort of faith that, if she kept perfectly
-quiet, this horror, whatever it was, would pass without being revealed
-to her. Then suddenly her courage broke.
-
-Cutter thrust back his chair, rose from the table and made for the
-door.
-
-She followed him. “George,” she cried, “what is it? I am frightened”;
-the last word keyed to a wail.
-
-They were standing where she had overtaken him in the hall. He took out
-his watch, stared at it. “Twenty minutes past seven. The express is due
-at eight,” he muttered with the air of a man who times himself, leaving
-not a minute to spare.
-
-“Yes, the express is due then, but--” she began.
-
-“I am leaving on that train for New York,” he said, addressing her
-point-blank.
-
-“But, George, this is only one day for me; and you have been away five
-weeks,” she exclaimed.
-
-“Helen, come in here. I have something to tell you, and very few
-minutes to spare,” standing aside that she might precede him into the
-parlor.
-
-She went in, sat in one of the mahogany chairs and regarded him with
-that long, winged look. The suppressed harshness of his voice had
-steadied her. She was calm. Women can withdraw to some quiet corner,
-sit perfectly still and watch you condemn yourself without a tremor,
-although the moment before they may have been distracted by every fear.
-I have sometimes thought it might be a form of spiritual catalepsy. In
-any case, it is a very fortunate seizure.
-
-“I am returning to New York to-night,” Cutter informed her, still
-standing as if this departure was imminent. “I shall make my home there
-in the future.”
-
-“Without me?” she asked, as if it was merely information she wanted.
-
-“Without you,” he repeated, nodding his head for emphasis.
-
-“For how long?”
-
-“I have resigned as president of the bank here, disposed of all my
-interests. It is not my intention ever to come back to Shannon.” He
-did not look around to see how she had received this blow. He waited;
-silence, no movement, not a sound. “You can get a divorce. It will be
-easy,” he suggested.
-
-“No,” she answered.
-
-“I inferred that you would not now. Later, you may decide differently.”
-
-She said “No,” and she did not repeat it.
-
-“Meanwhile, I have provided for you. The house, the car, everything
-here is yours. The deeds are made to you. And I have placed securities
-to the amount of exactly half my estate in the bank here. They are in
-your name. You will have an income of something more than ten thousand
-a year. It is not much; but more, I think, than you will care to
-spend.” He thrust two fingers into his waistcoat pocket and drew forth
-a slender key. “This is the key to your safety deposit box,” dropping
-it on the table. “You will need only to clip the coupons and cash
-them,” he explained.
-
-She had not moved, but as she listened her face changed to scarlet. Her
-eyes sparkled and were dry.
-
-There was another moment’s silence. Cutter picked up his hat, fumbled
-it. He had not expected much of a scene, since Helen was so little
-given to emotional scenery. But neither had he been able to predict
-this indictment in fearful silence.
-
-“You have been a good wife, Helen. I have not one reproach. But things
-cannot go on as they have gone. My life and my opportunities lie in a
-broader field. I have sacrificed them too long already. You have not
-been happy here as my wife; but you would be miserable in New York as
-my wife. I am doing the wisest--in the long run the kindest--thing for
-both of us, giving you your liberty and taking mine.”
-
-Since she would not answer he went on nervously.
-
-“I have told no one of--our plans. I leave that to you also. The one
-thing I must have is the right to achieve my own life in my own way. I
-give you the same privilege and--”
-
-“You have only ten minutes before the train is due,” she interrupted.
-
-
-
-
-PART THREE
-
-
-
-
-PART THREE
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV
-
-
-Sometimes when a man has been shot, he stands for the briefest moment
-before he falls. So Cutter stood, still facing the window, while the
-fatal shock passed through him. This was Helen who had spoken, who had
-reminded him of the time when his train left, but not his wife. He
-flirted his head around and snatched a glance at her.
-
-She was sitting very erect, not touching the back of her chair. The
-little frills on her dress stuck up stiffly, like the petals of a very
-fine white flower. Her cheeks were scarlet above this whiteness; but
-there were no tears. Her chin was lifted; her lips closed; her eyes
-covering him like a frost on a cold clear night, one of those still
-nights when the whole of Nature’s business is to freeze. He turned,
-took a step toward her, and did not dare take the next step.
-
-You may think you are making the best of a bad situation by ending it.
-You may persuade yourself that you are doing the square thing, praise
-yourself for behaving better than the average man does in a similar
-predicament. Then suddenly something happens, a word falls upon your
-ear, or you see yourself revealed in the eye of your victim as a rogue,
-a common fellow who has lost his standing.
-
-Cutter had some such sensation as this, confused but devastating. He
-was determined to be free, to be no longer bound to this woman who
-ceased to appeal to him and who did not belong to the world he had won
-by success. But how was this? She had turned the tables on him. She was
-not only taking him at his word; she was dismissing him.
-
-I do not say that it is a queer thing about a man of this quality,
-but it is one of the abortive characteristics of every man of this
-quality, that he has a dog-in-the-manger instinct always toward the
-wife he discards. He expects her to remain cravenly faithful to him,
-to love and cherish him tearfully and patiently while he takes a whiff
-around, because, heaven bless us, isn’t that the nature of good and
-chaste women? It was. And yet here was Helen, instantly assuming the
-autonomous attitude of a free state. She was making no effort to hold
-him or save him.
-
-Hang it all, a man never could understand a woman! Here he was
-standing before his discarded wife, having done the best he could for
-her, divided his fortune with her, released her from her normal duties
-to him, while he might have kept this property and lived as he pleased.
-And in spite of all this, he was made to feel strangely humiliated,
-worthless and unspeakable to her. This was what her look and manner
-meant. Good heaven, he could not slink off defeated like this! He had
-meant to go with his head up, not diminished. The sting of that would
-interfere with his pleasure, and he had made expensive plans for a
-gratifying existence in New York.
-
-“What I want, Helen,” he began after this tumultuous pause, speaking in
-the husband tone of voice, “is a sensible understanding, not a breach.
-I have provided for you as my wife should be provided for. If you
-should ever need my help or protection--”
-
-“You have barely time to make your train,” she interrupted, glancing at
-the clock and keeping her eye now on this clock. Her voice was not that
-of a wife, but of a lady, speaking probably to some agent whom she was
-determined to get out of the house before he sold her something she did
-not want and could not use.
-
-“Oh, very well, if you won’t be reasonable!” he exclaimed as he strode
-flashily past her.
-
-But when he reached the door he halted, looked back at her like an
-actor being put out of the scene and required by his lines to pause,
-show indecision, the fangs of his outraged emotions to the appreciative
-audience. But there was no audience to witness Cutter’s histrionic
-exit; only this neat, cool, little star of a lady with flaming cheeks,
-whose eyes remained resolutely upon the face of the clock.
-
-This man, who a while ago could not bear the touch of his wife’s hand,
-experienced a momentary revulsion toward his own future, to all it
-offered. He wanted to go back, take Helen in his arms, kiss her, feel
-the cleanness and sweetness of her goodness and nearness to him. But
-this was only momentary. He remembered the dullness of the years. He
-must buck up, he told himself hastily; just let him get through, escape
-this last tug of the old life and he would be a free man. Beneath this
-shrewd calculation of himself, there was a faint premonition that he
-had better not go back in there to perform these last sacred rites of
-parting with his wife. He was afraid of her, as criminals fear law.
-
-He went out, closing the front door softly behind him. He walked
-hurriedly toward the station, disturbed and shamed by the thoughts his
-very steps seemed to toss up in his mind. For months, while his affair
-in New York was progressing lightly but surely toward this crisis, he
-had dreaded this scene with Helen. He had felt for her, the distress
-and anguish she must suffer at the idea of losing him. He had always
-been as sure as that of her deep devotion. Now it appeared that he had
-lost Helen. He realized suddenly that he had counted on her. Whatever
-he became, back here in that quiet house Helen would always be his
-wife. She was not the woman to think of a divorce.
-
-Well, he had been a fool not to have understood all along that Helen
-would be true to herself as usual, to her own convictions, whatever
-they were. And he was no longer one of these convictions. Life was
-a mess, anyhow. If a man failed, he had poverty pawing at his door.
-If he succeeded, made a fortune, his nature, his tastes and desires
-all changed. If only Helen had gone out and made a name or a fortune,
-achieved something in the world, he supposed she would be different
-too. Maybe she would have understood--
-
-The whistle of a locomotive in the distance ended these speculations.
-He stepped from the pavement and swung with long strides down the
-railroad track to where the sleeping cars would stop. A moment later
-there was a rattle of the rails, a roar and a grinding of brakes. The
-self-bereaved husband climbed aboard, walked magnificently up the aisle
-of the car to his section, sat down, rumbled a command to the porter
-and heaved a sigh.
-
-He was immensely relieved. The worst of it was over. He had suffered
-some, but he was feeling very fit now, animated. He was done with the
-past. He was headed for New York, the city that whetted a man’s senses
-and ambitions. He had worked hard. The world owed him something for
-that. No place like New York for collecting what the world owed a
-fellow, and so on and so forth.
-
-The other passengers in the coach stared at him. People always did.
-Impressive looking man, must be somebody, they decided. No one would
-have dared drop his bag in that section and sit down opposite such an
-oppressively prosperous looking person, not even if he had a ticket for
-the “upper.” He would have glanced at his ticket, at Cutter; then he
-would have gone on to the “smoker” and arranged with the porter to let
-him know when he might climb into his berth, which, of course, would be
-after the great man had gone to bed in the lower one.
-
-This is the professional pose of the recent-rich man. Every one who
-rides in sleepers and parlor cars is familiar with the type. Sometimes
-a shoe drummer can put it on to perfection; but as a rule it is a
-fellow like Cutter, whose character and tastes and manners have been
-developed by the shock of wealth, a diseased man morally who receives
-more involuntary respect than any really distinguished man could bear.
-
-A man in mental, moral or financial distress will frequently pace the
-floor all night. But women never do, because the forms of grief and
-anxiety to which they are subject weaken them physically so that they
-immediately take to their beds in anticipation of this prostration.
-Therefore I hold that it is a circumstance worth mentioning that Helen
-did not retire that night. She remained seated as he had left her until
-she heard the express go by. Then she went through the house turning
-out the lights.
-
-Maria, she observed by the seam of light under the kitchen door, was
-still in there. If all her faculties had not been concentrated on
-something else, she might have wondered why Maria was later than usual
-in clearing up after dinner. She passed back up the hall without so
-much as a look at her bed through the open door of her room, and sat
-down again in the same chair in the parlor, as you go back to the place
-where you left off in a book or to a train of thought when you have
-been interrupted.
-
-There could never be real darkness in Shannon any more, because the
-city had “water and electric lights” now. Still the room was nearly
-dark, with only a faint reflection of the street light far below
-through the window. Helen sat like the ghost of herself in this dimness
-and silence. She was not thinking nor feeling. She had literally been
-drugged by the horror of this last hour. She was numb--past all pain.
-Presently she must return to consciousness; but she instinctively
-prolonged this trance. Sometimes she changed her position in her chair,
-but never once did she languish or cover her face with her hands or
-address her Father in heaven.
-
-Here was a woman on her mettle at last, asking no odds of heaven.
-So long as you have a husband, it is natural to remain in prayerful
-communication with Providence for help and guidance, but when your
-husband has abandoned you there is no such tearful feminine reason for
-engaging the assistance of the Almighty. You may do it later; but for
-the moment you feel quite alone in the universe.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI
-
-
-Sometime after midnight Helen stirred herself, much as if she was
-awaking early in the morning with a busy day before her. She stood up,
-stared about her in the shadowy room, moved to the windows and pulled
-down all the shades. Then she turned on the lights. She stood directly
-beneath the chandelier, lifted her hand to her head, unpinned her hair,
-skewed it up tightly and pinned it like a harsh duty on the back of
-her head. It was perfectly evident that she had made up her mind to
-do something, and to do it thoroughly. She had a sort of merciless
-house-cleaning expression.
-
-She glanced around the room, reached for two Cutter photographs on the
-mantel, removed a recent excellent likeness of her husband from a frame
-on the piano and left the room, carrying these things in her hand and
-the frames under her arm. She paused long enough in the back hall to
-lay the frames on the bottom step of the attic stairs. Then she went
-out on the back porch and dropped the photographs down the cellar steps.
-
-She walked briskly back to her own room. For the next hour she
-went through the house--drawers, closets and trunks--like the
-fine-toothed-comb of femininity, her cheeks scarlet, her lips primped
-purposefully, her eyes wide and busy, like the condemning eyes of a
-censor who is determined to leave nothing that should be cut out,
-removed and destroyed. From time to time she issued forth, her arms
-laden with somebody’s worldly goods, obviously a man’s things, to toss
-them down the cellar stairs and return for more. Finally she came out
-with a shaving brush, the cord of a bathrobe and an old four-in-hand
-tie, evidently the last gleanings.
-
-She descended the stairs, clearing the steps as she went of shirts,
-collars, trousers, dress suits, overcoats, hats, brushes, shoes,
-slippers, pajamas, even buttons. She worked hurriedly, cramming this
-mass of clothing into the hot air furnace. She struck a match to these
-things, watched the flame creep greedily along the sleeve of a fine
-white shirt and lick the broadcloth back of a Tuxedo coat. Then she
-closed the door, went back upstairs, took a glance around, to make sure
-that everything was in its usual order, withdrew at last to her own
-room, undressed, let down her hair, braided it, turned out the light
-and went to bed.
-
-She could hear the furnace roaring below. She hoped all that
-inflammable stuff would not set the roof on fire. That is to say,
-she did not want to attract attention by the burning of her house.
-Otherwise she was indifferent about what might happen. If only she
-might escape notice for a while, until she could adjust herself to this
-horror! In spite of the closed registers, a strong odor of burning wool
-filled the house. She got up and raised the windows. She hoped the
-scent would be gone before Maria and Buck came in the morning. Then she
-rested, as one does after accomplishing something that must be done, no
-matter how unhappy one is.
-
-At seven o’clock she heard stirrings in the kitchen as usual, but no
-voices. This was not as usual, because there was always the subdued
-rumble of conversation between these two servants early in the morning.
-But she did not notice it. She rang for Maria and informed her that she
-would take her breakfast in bed. She had never done this before; still
-Maria showed no signs of surprise. She rolled her eyes and sniffed the
-air of this house, which did not smell pure and undefiled. She was in
-such a state of suppressed excitement that she could barely wait to get
-back to the kitchen to whisper the news to Buck, who was just coming
-up the stairs from the basement where he had been to interview the
-furnace. Servants are the scavengers of all domesticity, especially of
-wrecked domesticity.
-
-For the next three days Helen remained in bed. She was not ill; but she
-was not able to face life on her feet. When your whole existence has
-been absorbed by the life of another person--his will, his desires and
-his habits have determined your every act--it is not so easy to have
-freedom and the pursuit of your own happiness suddenly thrust upon you.
-It is necessary to acquire new motives and new interests.
-
-Besides, Helen was obliged to face the humiliation of her abandonment.
-So, as I have said, she remained in bed, very quiet, very pale, very
-submissive to Maria’s ministrations. When she was alone, she lay for
-hours scarcely moving, strangely abstracted. No doubt we come somewhat
-after this fashion always into the next existence. One thing was
-certain: The burden of her thoughts was not her recreant husband, else
-there would have been tears, anguish, fever and presently the doctor in
-attendance.
-
-A great grief may be a great exaltation. Helen had this high look when
-Maria brought her breakfast tray in on the fourth morning. She was
-not merry; she had nothing to say; but she had arrived somewhere in
-her mind. It was obvious even to Maria that her mistress was about to
-do something. She wanted to know what day of the month this was, as a
-person who has been deliriously ill always asks about the time of day
-when he recovers consciousness.
-
-Maria told her that this was the fifth.
-
-“Of what month?” was the astonishing next question.
-
-“August, Miss Helen.”
-
-“Oh, yes, of course,” she returned, apparently gratified that this was
-still August. “Tell Buck to bring the car around at ten o’clock,” she
-said.
-
-“She’s come out of her swoon, Buck, and wants you to have the car ready
-at ten,” was the news Maria carried back to the kitchen.
-
-“Whar is we gwine?” he asked.
-
-“I dunno. But ef I knows Miss Helen like I thinks I does, they ain’t
-gwine to be no grass growin’ under your feet no time soon.”
-
-She was polishing Mrs. Cutter’s pumps during this conversation. Now she
-started back with them. She was about to lay her hand upon the knob
-of Helen’s door when she stiffened, turned her head to one side and
-listened. The sound of a voice issued through this door, one voice,
-Helen’s. She was alone in there with her God, but it was obvious to
-Maria that this was not any woman’s praying voice. Neither were the
-astounding words she heard suitable for prayer.
-
-The fat old negress bent, laid her ear against the keyhole, rolled her
-eyes and listened. Then, as if she could not bear the amazement of what
-she heard, she flew back to the kitchen, caught hold of the astonished
-Buck and moaned: “Oh, my Lord; oh, my Lord! And her a white ’oman!”
-
-“What’s de matter wid you, gal?” he demanded, shaking himself from her
-grasp and staring at her.
-
-She refused to tell him. She implied that such information as she had
-might cost them both their innocent lives, if she should repeat it.
-
-“You don’t know nothin’, and you ain’t heard nothin’,” he retorted,
-going out, pausing at the door long enough to point at the pumps which
-she still held in her hand. “You better take dem shoes to Miss Helen,
-er she’ll be tellin’ you somethin’,” he warned her.
-
-Shortly after ten o’clock Mrs. George William Cutter appeared at the
-Shannon National Bank. She wanted to look at some papers in her safety
-deposit box, she told the cashier.
-
-She remained a long time closeted with this box. When she came out
-she carried a sheaf of coupons in her hand; and she was very pale, not
-gratified as a woman should look under these circumstances. Beneath the
-coupons there was a check, drawn on a New York bank for ten thousand
-dollars and signed by her husband. This check lay on top when she
-opened the box; attached to it was a note stating with studied brevity
-that this sum, including interest, was the amount she inherited from
-her mother’s estate, which he “herewith returned.” It began, “Dear
-Helen,” and was signed, “George,” with no softening, affectionate
-prefix.
-
-It was this note, not the clipping of her coupons, that had detained
-Helen so long in the little dark anteroom of the vault. There was no
-date, but from the date on the check, she perceived that it had been
-made on the tenth of July, when George had been in Shannon for a week.
-As early as that, then, he had contemplated this separation! He was
-planning this spurious honesty, paying back the money she had advanced
-him years ago for his first adventure in stocks while he cheated her
-of his love and her dignity as a wife. When you think about this, it
-is always some relatively insignificant thing that excites your most
-lasting contempt. So, now Cutter fell to the nadir of his wife’s
-regard. She was obliged to remain in this little closet of the vault
-after she had finished everything, endeavoring to compose herself
-before she dared meet the scrutiny of the eyes outside. We do this so
-often when really no one takes particular notice of us.
-
-It was the merest accident that Arnold, the new president, was coming
-in and caught sight of her as she was leaving the wicket after
-depositing the check and the amount of the coupons to her account.
-
-He greeted her effusively. “You are looking well,” he informed her.
-
-She knew that she was not, but she told him, yes, she was very well.
-
-“And how’s Cutter?” smiling as a man does when he thinks he has
-introduced an agreeable topic.
-
-She said that she had not heard from Mr. Cutter since he returned to
-New York.
-
-“Busy man! Busy man! Goes at everything like a house afire. You will
-have to take care of him, Mrs. Cutter, or he’ll break down, go smash
-one of these days.”
-
-She made no reply, merely swept her glance over Arnold’s shoulder
-toward the door.
-
-“We were sorry to lose him as president of this bank. His resignation
-came as a complete surprise. And now I suppose we shall be losing you.
-You will join him in New York, of course.”
-
-“No,” she answered steadily. She had resolved to tell no lies and to
-make no explanations.
-
-“Keep your home here then! Well, that’s good news. Means Cutter’s
-anchored in Shannon, after all. He’ll be dropping in on us here at the
-bank when he comes down; be mighty glad to see him.”
-
-She said she did not know, bade him good morning and went out.
-
-Arnold stood watching her through the window until she stepped into
-the car. Then he turned to the cashier. “Nice woman, Mrs. Cutter,
-but--well, she’s not vivacious, is she?” he said, grinning.
-
-“I have often wondered how a man like Cutter came to choose such a
-wife,” the cashier returned with a slower grin.
-
-“Wasn’t a man like Cutter is now when he courted her. Young fellow;
-I remember him well; had a fine physical sense of himself. Nobody
-suspected he would ever develop the money-making talents of a wolf in
-the market then. Fell in love with a pretty girl. She was the prettiest
-thing in Shannon. Married her. That’s how it happened,” Arnold
-explained.
-
-“Seems to have turned out all right.”
-
-“Never heard anything to the contrary; but you can’t tell. Something is
-in the wind. I thought Mrs. Cutter looked pretty shaky this morning.
-Had a sort of dying gasp in her eye. Pale, noncommittal. Couldn’t get
-a darn thing out of her about Cutter. But she may be trained that way.
-Wives of great men often remind us that what’s husband’s business is
-none of our business,” he laughed. “Cutter’s a sort of cheap great man.
-How much did she deposit?” lowering his voice.
-
-“Fifteen thousand.”
-
-“Open account?”
-
-The cashier nodded.
-
-Arnold whistled.
-
-“Show’s Cutter trusts her, anyhow.”
-
-“Shows she’s not being guided by her husband’s advice, or she’d never
-keep that much money idle,” Arnold retorted.
-
-As things turned out, however, this was the busiest money in Shannon
-that autumn. It was spent with amazing swiftness at a time when the war
-extravagance of our government had already set the pace for reckless
-spending.
-
-A situation frequently develops under our very eyes, and we have
-no suspicion of it. The fact is, most situations that develop into
-sensations begin this way. Then we discover that what has happened had
-been “going on” a long time. Otherwise, I ask you how should we obtain
-those breathless sensations with which the press and society nourish
-our groggy minds? It is the unexpected that stirs and animates our
-greedy, pop-eyed interest in life, especially the other fellow’s life.
-
-I will not go so far as to say that Helen acted from design, for she
-was the least devious or designing woman I ever knew; but she must have
-counted on the probability that some time must elapse before the breach
-between Cutter and herself could be suspected in Shannon. His absence
-would not be significant, because his business interests in New York
-had kept him away from home most of the time for a year. The war, the
-violent emotions and the terrific demands it imposed had unsettled all
-life.
-
-People who never left home arose and flew this way and that, like
-flocks of distracted birds. Old maids with dutiful domestic records,
-suddenly laid aside their darning gourds and church work and sailed
-for France, went into canteens and became the honorable mothers
-of whole regiments. Young girls did likewise, and earned for
-themselves distinctions that will become a heritage to womankind, all
-mordant-tongued gossips to the contrary notwithstanding. In Shannon the
-women worked like bees. If you paid your Red Cross assessments, turned
-in sweaters and wash rags for the soldiers in France, no further notice
-was taken of you. Because all womanly interests and affections were
-centered on these boys in France.
-
-Helen made her contributions to these enterprises, bought a few bonds
-and disappeared before the middle of October. The inference was that
-she had joined her husband in New York. The _Shannon Sentinel_ so
-stated in a brief local on no better authority than that the editor had
-seen her board the express one evening. Passengers bound for New York
-always took this train. And where else could Mrs. Cutter be going when
-every finger of your imagination pointed to New York and her husband as
-her logical and legitimate destination?
-
-This long-legged logical faculty, directed by imagination, is
-responsible for much that is fictitious in current gossip and even in
-written records; witness, for example, that master work of fiction,
-Mr. H. G. Wells’ “Outline of History.” It is logical, convincing, and
-much of it is based upon the most entrancing interpretation of rocks,
-fossils and bones--which does not prove anything except that the
-sciences of geology, anthropology and the rest of them are bright-eyed
-sciences, full of delightfully imaginary conclusions. While it may all
-be the truth, we do not know that it is true, and Mr. Wells cannot
-prove that it is. Meanwhile, if we could exercise as much faith and
-imagination toward God and the future as he has shown in revealing the
-Paleozoic and previous periods in the past, somebody would be born
-presently fledged with wings and a skyward mind.
-
-But, all that aside, what I set out to tell was that Helen did not go
-to New York and that she did not return to Shannon until the beginning
-of the following year.
-
-Shortly after her departure, a tall, dark young man with high black
-hair, who carried his head bare, apparently out of deference to or
-pride in this hair, descended from the morning train at Shannon. He
-was accompanied by an ordinary looking man, apparently of the higher
-artisan class. The two of them entered a taxi and disappeared out Wiggs
-Street.
-
-No notice would ever have been taken of them, if they had not been
-seen at a distance, standing in front of the Cutter residence, staring
-at it, gesticulating, evidently engaged in fervid conversation, moving
-from one side of the lawn to the other to stare again, talk and swing
-up high gestures at this little, low, white setting hen of a house, as
-if it was of the uttermost importance to do something about it.
-
-Mrs. Flitch watched these two strangers until she reached a certain
-conclusion. Then she went to the telephone and called Mrs. Shaw. She
-asked her if she had heard that the Cutter home was to be sold.
-
-Mrs. Shaw replied that she had not; but that she knew Mrs. Cutter had
-stored all her furniture and things in the barn before she left.
-
-Mrs. Flitch said, well, that settled it. They were evidently about
-to sell the place. Some men were out there looking at it now. No,
-strangers. She had seen them pass just after the morning train from
-Atlanta came in. Real-estate men, probably. She said she knew all the
-time that the place would be sold. The wonder to her was that Helen had
-stayed out there so long, with her husband practically living in New
-York. And so on and so forth until they reached the usual discussion of
-Red Cross supplies.
-
-A few days later the ordinary man of the artisan type returned to
-Shannon with a roll of blue print under his arm. The next thing Shannon
-knew the roof was off the Cutter house and there was a corps of workmen
-out there, spreading wings to it, putting on another story and setting
-up magnificent columns in front to support the coronet-countenance of
-this house. And from the awful rumpus going on within, it was evident
-that partitions were being torn out and elegant changes being made.
-
-There was no Creel to censor news in Shannon. Rumors started and
-turned back, or rumors died during a Liberty Loan drive. Finally, it
-was settled that the Cutters had not sold their place, but that they
-were spending a fortune rebuilding it. They were not obliged to count
-the costs, even during these strenuous times when the price of labor
-and materials were beyond the reach of most people. They had plenty of
-money and no children. Still, a display of wealth at such a time was
-certainly in bad taste. Had anybody heard a word from Helen since she
-went to New York? This query went the rounds of the Red Cross room late
-in November. No one had heard from Helen. Mrs. Arnold said that her
-husband had received one or two letters from Mr. Cutter on matters of
-business. She understood that Mr. Cutter had some kind of government
-contract and was making a great deal of money.
-
-Mrs. Flitch tossed her little gray head, snapped her black eyes and
-said she supposed the Cutters would come back now and then, with their
-maids and butlers and valets and fancy dogs, and quarantine themselves
-in this fine house and refer to the people of Shannon as the “natives.”
-If they did, it would make no difference to her. She had known the
-Cutters since George Cutter’s father and mother came to Shannon and
-lived in a three-room house, and Maggie Cutter did her own work. And
-she lived next door to the Adamses for twenty years. Helen was nobody
-but the daughter of Sam Adams who was a carpenter, and she never would
-be anything else to her.
-
-Mrs. Shaw said if it had been her house she would not have painted it
-colonial yellow. But she admitted the tall white columns “set it off.”
-
-Mrs. Arnold said she and Mr. Arnold had strolled out there on the last
-bank holiday. They had gone through the house, because they expected to
-build and wanted “ideas.” The rooms were large now, lofty ceilinged;
-and the walls were beautiful. She had been especially impressed with
-the big room added on the west side. “It is different from the others
-which are done in a misty gray with the woodwork finished in old ivory.
-They are elegant and sober. But this one is not sober, very bright.”
-
-“Probably the ball room,” Mrs. Flitch suggested.
-
-Mrs. Arnold glanced up from the bandage, she was rolling. “No,”
-she said, “I am sure it is not a ball room, because it opens into
-the one Mrs. Cutter has reserved for herself, they told me. The
-decorations--are unusual. I was surprised.”
-
-This was as far as she got. She had a neat little mind and only
-gossiped like a perfect lady, which is a very fine art. Still, she
-thought it interesting, if not sensational in a pleasant way, that
-this room had a decoration of Mother Goose pictures around the top of
-it--all the literature of infancy illustrated there, in fact, from this
-wandering goose mounting a highly ornamental staircase to the lurid cow
-with exalted tail in the act of jumping over the moon. And she was glad
-Mrs. Cutter had “this” to look forward to after so many years. A woman
-without children was to be pitied.
-
-Then Helen Cutter came home late in January, quite unobtrusively and
-alone. No maid, no wig-tailed man servant, no fancy dog. Evidently Mr.
-Cutter was still in New York.
-
-But rich people continually did queer things that other people could
-not afford to do. From that point of view everything looked all right.
-Their wives went about the world alone, and their husbands frequently
-did business in some other part of the world. No one in Shannon
-suspected that the relations between Helen and her husband were even
-strained. They merely heard that she had “come down” to superintend the
-furnishing of her new house, that she had engaged an interior decorator
-for this purpose, that a great many fine things had been shipped in,
-and that she was having some of the best pieces of her golden oak done
-over for her own room. These pieces were painted gray and delicately
-ornamented with tiny wreaths of flowers. As it turned out, however,
-most of this old stuff was used to furnish that large, bright and
-sprightly room with the Mother Goose wall paper.
-
-As usual, Helen saw little of her neighbors. The weather was bad; her
-house was topsy-turvy; she was very busy; and she had an established
-reputation for reserve. Still, they met her here and there on the
-street, in the shops, in passing. And once shortly after her return she
-had paid a brief visit to the Red Cross rooms to deliver her quota of
-sweaters. She would have remained longer: she craved the comradeship of
-these women whom she had known all her life, but the consciousness of
-her humiliation, yet unknown to them, affected her courage.
-
-Sometimes the woman who has fallen secretly avoids her friends and
-acquaintances, because she knows that to keep up relations is a form
-of cheating, for which she will be the more severely punished when
-her deflection is known. I suppose Helen, who had every virtue, felt
-the impending mortification of her situation, when it became known in
-Shannon that her husband had deserted her.
-
-She came in, wearing a plain, long coat with a fine fur collar and a
-close-fitting fur hat. She was received cordially and a place was made
-for her at the long table where the bandages were being rolled. She sat
-on the edge of her chair, as if she must be going presently. She was
-not smiling. She appeared years younger, and there was a lost look in
-her blue eyes which no one noticed.
-
-She took off her coat, in response to Mrs. Shaw’s invitation; but she
-had only a moment to stay, slipping off this garment and revealing her
-figure slender as a pencil in a blue frock of some smooth stuff smartly
-buttoned to her chin.
-
-“We are glad to see you back here, Helen,” Mrs. Shaw said.
-
-Helen said “Thank you” for the simple reason that she could not pretend
-to be glad of anything. A mania for veracity makes you inelastic,
-uncouth and ungraceful socially.
-
-Mrs. Flitch asked her when she was expecting “George.” It was a shot
-in the dark, and she did not mean it. But she was a woman whose very
-instinct could aim accurately at your vulnerable point.
-
-“I am not expecting Mr. Cutter at all,” Helen replied.
-
-Mrs. Flitch had to take this answer, which was too frank to excite
-suspicion. But she did want to know if Helen expected to make her home
-in New York. “I suppose you will only come here now and then,” she
-suggested, looking over the top of her glasses at her victim.
-
-“I shall never live in New York. My home is here,” Helen answered, with
-the air of a person who would do this, but would not discuss her plans.
-
-She was one of those human “short circuits” who drops the periods in
-conversations and compels you to start another sentence on another
-topic. These women went back to the perpetual discussions that raged
-at that time in every Red Cross working room, about the specifications
-for wounded soldiers’ dressing gowns. Mrs. So-and-So’s work had
-been returned, because she had put too many pockets--or not enough
-pockets--on the gowns she had made.
-
-Mrs. Flitch had suffered the outrage of having two sweaters returned
-because she had finished them around the bottom with a fancy rib
-stitch. “As if that made any difference. There is too much red tape in
-these Red Cross regulations,” she exclaimed. “They obstruct us more in
-the work than the wire entanglements in France obstruct the advance of
-the German Army.”
-
-This was not true, but it was so aptly put that a murmur of sympathetic
-comment followed while needles flew and threads snapped.
-
-Mrs. Flitch was so fluffed up by this involuntary vote of confidence in
-her rib stitch and her point of view that she turned to Helen and asked
-her if she did not “think so too.”
-
-Helen answered no, she did not think so, because then everybody would
-follow their own fancies in the making of these supplies, and there
-would be no system.
-
-Mrs. Flitch’s needle flickered like a tiny spear as she hoisted it with
-a jerk, bent over and bit off her thread as if this thread was the head
-of an enemy.
-
-Another “short circuit”! Another fuse of conversation burned out!
-Tongues flew like babbling wings to cover the breach. Mrs. Flitch sat
-drawn up and reared back, cheeks reddening as if a wasp had stung her
-in the face.
-
-Helen was like a tactless person who contributes an adverse opinion
-upon stepmothers in a company where several eminently respectable
-ladies have married widowers with children. She felt the sparks about
-her, but she was not dismayed. She did not care how Mrs. Flitch felt.
-She had reached that invulnerable stage of indifference arrived at only
-through great suffering or moral abandonment. In either case, it is
-always a state of mental courage.
-
-Mrs. Arnold was chairman of the Red Cross Chapter in Shannon. She sat
-at the head of the work table during these snapped-off conversations,
-discreetly silent. She was pursuing her own train of thought. Helen
-stood up presently to put on her coat. She regarded this supple,
-wisp-waisted woman with secret amazement. For she was the only one
-there who had seen the nursery decorations in that new west wing room
-of the Cutter residence. Her mind worked like the nose of a rabbit at
-Helen, as the latter took her departure.
-
-The consensus of opinion after she went out was that she had “changed,”
-with Mrs. Flitch in the minority. She said she could not see any
-difference. “She’s only changed her ugly gray coat and blue hat for a
-good-looking coat and fur hat.” This was all that was said about her.
-Gossip, if you remember, was much neglected during this period. We
-indulged in it briefly and went back to the transfiguring sensations of
-our martial emotions.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVII
-
-
-And Helen went home, let herself into her fine house, took off her
-things and sat down before the library fire.
-
-She really had imported a maid, an ex-modiste of mature years, who
-would be of service to her in the choosing of her clothes and dressing
-herself properly. She could hear this woman now moving about in the
-next room getting out her things. She was practicing dressing for the
-evening, because now she had a purpose and a future in view which some
-years hence might involve toilettes and magnificence.
-
-It certainly does change a woman to lose her husband. It buries her
-or brings her out. I suppose if Helen’s husband had been properly
-and providentially parted from her by death, she might have retired
-sorrowfully into her widow’s state and effaced herself or devoted
-herself quite differently to good works. But the passing of George
-Cutter left no such sanctities to dignify her. On the contrary she had
-been abandoned on account of her virtues and stupid devotion to home.
-She was like Job. She held on to her integrity and was sustained, as he
-was, by her conceit.
-
-But unlike Job, who suffered considerable financial losses during
-this period, she had come into a considerable estate. She had been
-paid off by this deflecting husband. Money will sustain your pride
-and courage as an outraged woman when mere faith in God may leave you
-exalted in the ditch of every worldly misfortune. Helen had remained
-the proper resurrection period flat on her back in bed, not from
-histrionic design; but she was actually able to rise on the third day.
-My belief is that everything in the Scriptures is true, if you adjust
-yourself to the way it is true. Thus, if you will not waste your vital
-forces in emotional dissipations of grief when overtaken by sorrow or
-humiliation, if you are really willing to live again normally, three
-days down will usually put you on your feet with sufficient courage
-and strength for the performance. It is no use to send for the doctor.
-In cases of this kind a physician is a sort of psychic drug you take,
-which requires a repetition of his soothing presence. Thrice fortunate
-are they who dare to discover that the wings of adversity are the
-strongest wings upward in human affairs.
-
-Helen, penguin bred, had acquired this serene flying power. She had
-been absolved from a depressing devotion to an ignoble man. She came
-out of her travail informed with pride, the cold fury which good women,
-scorned, feel, and with a determination to have what she had always
-wanted and could not have as a wife.
-
-She leaned back in her chair before the library fire, clasped her
-hands over her head and looked anticipatingly at the ceiling, a queer
-expression on this formerly merely dutiful woman’s face, like a song in
-her eyes, like faith that smooths the brow, like a hope that lifted and
-sweetened the corners of her mouth; there were no shadows of fear to
-dim this gentle effulgence of eyes, lips and brow.
-
-To be loved does make a woman happy, but it never endows her with her
-own peace, only protection. There is a difference, if you know how to
-read it, between love and hope in her face. The former is conferred and
-may be taken away: the latter is an act of faith and cannot be dimmed
-or destroyed. Helen had this look of “anticipation,” as some physicians
-call it, a mark which Nature confers upon women like a meek distinction.
-
-Helen finally went to her room to practice her evening toilette. At
-five o’clock she was dressed and standing before the mirror studying
-this cream-colored frock of crêpe, that clung to her figure like
-long folded wings. It was not “trimmed.” She insisted upon a certain
-primness, as good women do who have no sense of style.
-
-Some women live and die so virginal that they never know why other
-women wear a rose, or display the sparkle of a jewel upon their breast.
-If they put on these invitations to love it is merely copying the
-universal feminine custom. They do not know how to mean the rose or
-catch the sparkle of the jewel in their manner.
-
-Helen wore no invitations. She was simply anxious to look the mistress
-of this establishment, never to be mistaken for a dutiful servant. The
-horror she had felt of this impending fate since shortly after her
-marriage, when she knew that she was not to have children, and the long
-sentence she had actually served in this capacity rankled.
-
-A bell rang somewhere in the house. She paid no attention, since
-she had no visitors and the front door bell never rang except when
-something was delivered.
-
-A moment later there was a tap on her door and the maid entered. “Some
-one to see you, Mrs. Cutter,” she announced.
-
-“Who is she?”
-
-“A man.”
-
-“Not Read?” referring to one of the workmen.
-
-“No, Mrs. Cutter; this is a gentleman. I left him in the parlor.”
-
-Helen frowned.
-
-“He is somebody. I am sure of that. And he said that you knew him,” the
-woman explained.
-
-“That I knew him? Then he--why, it must be Mr. Arnold,” Helen said.
-Arnold was the only man in Shannon who might have any reason for
-calling on her.
-
-The woman hesitated, gave her mistress a fluttering glance as if some
-sort of gibbering, peeping thought had suddenly popped up in her mind.
-“This is not Mr. Arnold,” she said. “I think he is a stranger. Shall I
-tell him you are not at home?”
-
-“I will see him; but hereafter, Charlotte, I am not at home to any one
-who does not give his name.”
-
-“Yes, Mrs. Cutter,” Charlotte answered meekly, closing the door behind
-her. Then she glanced again at the crumpled bill she held in her hand,
-thrust it into her pocket, wrinkled her nose, sniffed and discreetly
-disappeared.
-
-Helen stood for a moment with her back to the mirror, as we all do
-sometimes when we cannot bear to read in our own faces the fear we have
-in our hearts. Since that night six months ago, when Cutter had left
-her, she had received no word from him. She had sternly repressed every
-thought of him. But never for a day had she been free from the vague
-fear that he might return. She no longer loved him; she despised him.
-Yet the old habit of submission--if he should return, how could she
-find the courage to send him away, if he asserted his claim upon her
-as his wife? She must do it. Her plans were made for a different life
-altogether. But suppose now, when she was on the point of realizing
-her dearest hope, this man waiting for her in the parlor should be her
-husband?
-
-She came slowly into the hall and advanced toward the open door of
-the parlor. Reproaches, words inconceivable to her until this moment,
-trembled upon her lips. This was her house; she had built it for her
-own peace and happiness. She would not share it, not for the space of
-a breath, with a man so depraved that he could betray his own wife,
-abandon her--and so on and so forth as she advanced, halted, and
-finally came steadily up the long hall, pale with fury, eyes blazing
-blue flames, convinced by her own fears that this man was Cutter. She
-was ready to deal with him according to the natural vocabulary of an
-outraged woman.
-
-For the gentlest woman, wronged, may suddenly change into a virago
-after you have made sure that she will endure anything. But if she ever
-breaks, it is like any other form of hysteria, incurable. She will be
-subject to verbal frenzies upon the slightest provocation so long as
-she lives.
-
-For one instant Helen stood upon the threshold of her parlor,
-speechless with amazement. Shaded lights cast a soft glow from above
-over the room, where the faintest outline of castles showed between
-shadowy trees in the wall paper. And tufted, spindle-legged chairs,
-covered with blue-and-golden brocades, flashed like spots of sunlight
-in the pale gray gloom.
-
-The visitor was undoubtedly enjoying these effects. He sat, the elegant
-figure of a man, on the sofa beyond the circle of light cast from the
-reading lamp behind him. His knees were crossed. He was working one
-foot musingly after the manner of a man pleased with his reflections.
-And he was smiling--not a smile you could possibly understand, unless
-you are familiar with the outlaw mind of certain rich men. But, in
-case you are scandalously psychic, you might have inferred that he was
-smiling at these dim castles in Helen’s wall paper as a prospective
-tourist in the romantic lands, where passing rivers sing to these
-castles and where scenes, centuries old, are laid for lovers.
-
-He was so much absorbed in whatever he was trailing with his thoughts
-that he had not seen Helen when she appeared in the doorway, but almost
-at once some sense warned him of her presence.
-
-His startled glance caught her. He was on his feet at once. “Oh, Mrs.
-Cutter! This is indeed good of you. I was afraid you would not see me,”
-he exclaimed, hurrying to meet her.
-
-“Mr. Shippen!” she gasped, with no marks of pleasure in the look she
-gave him. It was strictly interrogative, unfeelingly so.
-
-“Yes,” he returned hastily, interpreting her manner. “I came down to
-look after the sale of that mining property. Couldn’t resist dropping
-in on my way back to town this afternoon. Wanted to see you.”
-
-She moved past him, sat down some distance beyond and fixed her wide
-blue gaze upon him.
-
-He followed, not quite sure about sitting, feeling somehow that she
-might be going to keep him on his feet. Still he risked it and chose
-a chair politely removed from her immediate neighborhood, which was
-chilly, he could not tell whether or not from design.
-
-“You wish to see me?” she asked after a pause.
-
-The question disconcerted him. He flushed, recovered himself and showed
-his teeth in a handsome smile. “Yes, do you mind?” he retorted.
-
-“But what do you want to see me about?” she insisted, as if this must
-be a matter of business, a painful business, since she knew that he was
-associated with her husband.
-
-He snickered nervously, recovered his gravity at once, warned by the
-tightening of her lips. “When are you coming to New York?” he asked
-suddenly.
-
-She drew back from this adder of a question. “Is this why you came--you
-were sent?” she barely breathed the words, laying a hand like a
-confession upon her breast.
-
-“I was not sent,” he returned quickly. “You understand?”
-
-She signified that she did with a nod of her head. She released him for
-one moment from her steady gaze; then she fixed her eyes on him again
-with the same interrogative suspense, as much as to say, “Well, then,
-if you were not sent, why are you here?” She could not sense a meaning
-that would have been plain to another woman.
-
-It was the stupidity of goodness, he decided, and was charmed by a
-certain experimental fear of her. He must proceed cautiously. That
-was the delightful part of it, to be obliged to watch his step in an
-affair of this kind. He had no doubt of his ultimate success--a married
-woman, abandoned by her husband. He knew all about that by inference
-from Cutter. Cutter was too brazen in the conducting of his “bachelor”
-apartments not to feel perfectly safe.
-
-He supposed there had been some sort of financial adjustment between
-him and his wife. He knew very well that the situation in New York
-would not last. Cutter was simply the profitable investment a certain
-beautiful and brilliant woman had chosen, who had the record of a
-sentimental rocket among the sporting financiers of the East. The first
-time he came a cropper in the markets, she would abandon him with the
-swiftness and insolence that would make the fellow’s head swim. Then
-Cutter would return to his wife. They always did.
-
-Sometimes he had regretted not having a wife laid by himself as a sort
-of permanent stake, domestically speaking. If only he did not feel
-such revulsion toward the candor and monotonous details of actual
-married life. His decadent delicacy would be offended by the squalor of
-licensed intimacy with a woman. “Squalor” was the word he invariably
-used in discussing the psychology of marriage.
-
-Still, he might marry Helen Cutter. She would never be in his way. She
-was not in her husband’s way now. And she was singularly refreshing
-to his jaded fancy. He had been so corrupt that, by revulsion rather
-than repentance, invincible virtue in a woman attracted him. Besides,
-it would be a good joke on Cutter to lose his wife--such a wife--while
-he was philandering in New York. He had always entertained a secret
-contempt for the fellow--a bounder who did not know how to bound; a
-gambler with the nerve of a financial adventurer. New York teemed with
-men of his type.
-
-They had exchanged some commonplace remarks while he hit this line of
-reflection in the high places, having gone over it many times before.
-That is to say, he offered the remarks--on the weather, on the growth
-of Shannon, and more particularly upon the current aspects of the war.
-Helen’s contributions to these topics had been brief. He comprehended
-perfectly that she was still in suspense as to the meaning of his visit.
-
-He rose presently, took his chair, advanced with a friendly air and sat
-down near her, potentially within reach. And was amused to see that she
-still regarded him as from a great distance. “But you have not answered
-my question,” he said, going back to that. “When are you coming to New
-York to live? Thought you would have been settled there long before
-this time.”
-
-“I shall live here.”
-
-“Never in New York?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“But you are not planning to neglect us entirely! Cutter would not
-stand for that. You will be coming up occasionally, of course,” he
-insisted, smiling.
-
-“No; this is my home.”
-
-Gad, couldn’t she even squirm a bit? Why didn’t she blaze forth at
-Cutter or cover the situation with a few lies? He wondered how it would
-feel to live with a woman who hit the truth on the head every time, as
-if the truth was a nail to be driven in, even if it pierced your vitals.
-
-Shippen swept a complimentary glance around the room as if in reply
-to her last remark. “Well, you have certainly made it a beautiful
-home,” he said, feeling by the growing emergency of the question in
-her eyes that if he did not get off on another tack, she might force
-an explanation of his presence here which he was not ready to make
-until he had won more of her confidence. “This room is marvelous,” he
-went on, “sedate and feminine. It escapes the austerity of being a
-noble room by a miracle. What is it? Piety with a flash of color, I
-should say. However did you think of such an effect? And how did you
-accomplish it?”
-
-“I did not do it. I have learned something,” she said, off her guard
-for the first time, following his eyes about this room as if she
-accompanied his thoughts.
-
-“What have you learned?” he asked, smiling.
-
-“To buy what I want--not mere things, but taste in the choice of these
-things. It is for sale, like any other commodity.”
-
-He laughed, with an appreciative glint of the eye.
-
-“For so long I did not know that taste is the one thing most people
-have not got. They only look as if they had it, when in fact they have
-purchased it. You buy it from your tailor. The woman whose clothes
-please you pays the modiste who makes them much more for her taste than
-for her work. You can buy any kind of taste, good, bad or indifferent;
-but nearly everybody buys it.”
-
-What she said was not interesting; but he was interested that she could
-think it; it showed that she had a mind, which he had doubted. He hoped
-she would not develop too much along this line. The perfect woman, in
-his opinion, should have loveliness, health, and only a rudimentary
-intelligence. He was very tired, indeed, of the rhinestone sparkle of
-feminine wit.
-
-“It is the same with the building and furnishing of a house,” Helen
-showed up again. “They hire an architect and a decorator. And then
-they hire a landscape gardener. And when the whole scene inside and
-out is laid, they live in it as if they had planned it and achieved
-it. But they have bought every line, every shadow, and all the
-perspective--things that you feel and see, but cannot touch. It is not
-the house, but the idea it suggests for which you pay most. I had my
-own ideas, but I employed professionals to produce them. This is what
-I have learned,” she concluded, “not to cobble my own ideas. I simply
-told those men what I wanted.”
-
-“I should have liked to hear your instructions,” he said.
-
-“They were short. I told the architect that I wanted an honorable
-looking house, not a grand one.”
-
-He nodded, appreciatively, and waited. Some subtle change had taken
-place in her mind toward him during this last moment. There was a
-compelling power in her expression, as if now she wished to hold his
-attention. She had a purpose. He became uneasy and curious.
-
-“And I told the man who was to choose the furniture and do the inside
-decorations that I wanted a home, a mild kind of place with some
-sadness in it, like the heart of a mother; and rifts of brightness in
-it, like the face of a mother when she smiles; and everything very fine
-to honor her, the mother, you understand, in the eyes of her children.”
-
-Shippen’s agreeable attention changed for one instant to a blank stare;
-then he dropped his eyes as she went on with this intimate account of
-what she wanted her home to be. Mother! And she had no children. The
-term had for him a sort of embarrassing animal significance. It was not
-discussed this way in polite circles, even by women who were mothers.
-You were supposed not to know it or to forget that this sparkling being
-with whom you were conversing, or maybe flirting, had passed through
-the experiences of an accouchement. His feelings suffered a revulsion
-toward her. But she held him as if she meant that he should carry away
-with him the dimensions, the waist measure, the countenance and the
-germinating biography of this house.
-
-“I told him,” she went on, still referring to the decorator, “that I
-wanted a home inside, where children would look as if they belonged in
-it, and not as if they had escaped from their own hidden quarters--soft
-places in it, you know, where a baby could just fall asleep, like the
-sofa over there,” indicating with a nod a wide, low, old-fashioned soda
-shrouded in shadows.
-
-He cast an embarrassed glance at it. His feelings were that a babe
-should be kept concealed until it was a child of an age to be decently
-exposed and confessed. Some men are like that, and a few women. Their
-parent instincts have decayed.
-
-“And when they become grown sons and daughters,” she continued, taking
-no notice of his discomfiture, “there should be wide, happy spaces in
-here for their joys--a house for lovers and weddings.”
-
-He waited. Apparently she had finished. He raised his eyes and saw her
-flushed, animated. “But why should you want such a house?” he asked,
-not that it made any difference now what she wanted. So far as he was
-concerned the spell of her charm was broken. His one desire was to
-escape this disenchantment and to find out what was in the wind for
-Cutter. He clung to that joke.
-
-“Because all the time I was a wife I wanted this house, and I longed
-for children. Now I can have them.”
-
-Shippen stood up. She remained seated, eyes lifted with that rapt look
-fixed upon him.
-
-“Did you say--children, Mrs. Cutter?” he stammered.
-
-“Yes; now I shall have children,” she repeated.
-
-“Well, all right; but under the circumstances, it is a little unusual;
-don’t you think so?” he said, the compass of his mind already pointed
-toward the door.
-
-“Yes, it is,” she agreed, and was evidently about to launch into
-this feature of the case when she saw that he was about to take his
-departure. This reminded her of something. “But what was it you wished
-to see me about, Mr. Shippen?” she asked, with a return of that vague
-anxiety in the tones of her voice.
-
-“Why, merely to resume a pleasant acquaintance, I suppose,” he answered
-politely.
-
-“Oh.”
-
-“Thank you for receiving me,” he said. “Can I do anything for you in
-New York?”
-
-“No,” she answered quickly, but with no shade of embarrassment to
-indicate that she knew he referred to her husband.
-
-He took his departure politely and formally, but he had all the
-sensations of flight. “Good heavens!” he exclaimed the moment he was
-out of the house. “To think I was on the point of letting myself in for
-her! What is a woman, anyhow? Some confounded provision Nature makes
-against her own defeat--a snare laid for us, nothing else. They have
-their own mind and purposes, contrary to our mind and purposes, whether
-they are good or bad. Something infernally tricky about the bad ones:
-something infernally permanent about the good ones. They all want to
-set, like hens,” he snorted. “No wonder Cutter kicked out. Don’t blame
-him. She’s crazy, crazy as a loon, if she is not worse, and of course
-she isn’t that. Well, the joke is on me, not Cutter. And mum’s the word
-when I get back to New York. Children! Gad, she must be planning an
-orphanage. Wonder if he knows what she’s doing with his money. Wonder
-if this town is on to the racket.”
-
-He halted under the first street light and looked at his watch; barely
-time to meet Arnold at the hotel. They were to dine together and
-discuss the sale of the mining property which was to be handled through
-the Shannon National Bank. He quickened his step. He must get off on
-the eight o’clock express for New York. He had received a shock, a
-revulsion of his romantic emotions. Something distasteful had happened
-to him. He wanted to get away and recover from this nausea.
-
-We all excite a certain amount of interest among our fellow men,
-not because we are interesting, perhaps, but because we live, and
-to that extent are in a degree mysterious. But when suddenly a man
-or woman becomes aware of a silent and persistent attention, it is
-disconcerting, because in secret, at least, he knows he has done enough
-to queer himself, if it should be known or even suspected. He has,
-however, the usual human confidence in the deferred publication of
-these deeds until the day of all revelations, when the Final Courts sit
-to judge all men. At this end of time it will not matter, because of
-the leveling effects of knowing all men even as they know him.
-
-In my opinion this will be a day of gasping astonishments among the
-dusty saints and sinners hurriedly summoned so long after they shall
-have forgotten even their virtues, much less their sins, which in
-the flesh we manage to bury beyond painful recollection as soon as
-possible. But now and then we get a whiff of what will happen, when
-a great and good man in the community defaults and absconds with the
-church funds. Meanwhile the news that still travels fastest is the news
-of some one’s business which is nobody else’s business.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVIII
-
-
-The next day after Shippen’s visit Helen went into Shannon to make some
-purchases and to make sure of the amount of her balance at the bank.
-
-When she stepped from the car in front of Brim’s general merchandise
-store, it was as if she had stepped into a foreign land. The street,
-all things about her, were so familiar that she only remembered
-afterwards the strangeness of familiar faces. Two men whom she knew
-passed her with their eyes down. A woman regarded her with furtive
-curiosity and returned her salutation with the briefest bow, as if she
-did not really know her. All this happened so quickly that she was not
-yet aware that something very personal to her was happening.
-
-She was still off her guard when Mrs. Flitch sailed by her between
-the lace and stocking counter, merely giving her an eye-for-an-eye
-look, but with no further recognition, although Helen had wished her a
-“Good afternoon, Mrs. Flitch.” She disposed of this hint by wondering
-what she had done to Mrs. Flitch, because this lady was notoriously
-sensitive. She had a turgid temper and reserved the right to show her
-poverty and independence on the slightest provocation by ceasing to
-speak to you.
-
-Half an hour later when she came out to her car, a cold rain was
-beginning. She saw Mrs. Shaw approaching with no umbrella to protect
-her new spring hat. She waited, meaning to pick her up and take her
-wherever she should be going. But when she hailed her, this lady
-affected not to understand. She bowed coldly with the rain in her face
-and said, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Cutter,” although she had always called
-her “Helen,” and passed on.
-
-It is depressing to find yourself suddenly outlawed by the people whom
-you have always known. Helen was never popular in Shannon. Unhappy
-people rarely ever are. They have so little to contribute to the common
-fund of human animation. But she had a certain standing in the good
-will of her neighbors.
-
-It was not until she reached the bank that the explanation of what was
-going on really dawned upon her. She had known that it must come, this
-news of her abandonment by her husband, but she had not expected it to
-fall upon her like a curse.
-
-Arnold, who occupied the chair at the president’s desk inside the
-doorway of the bank, having resumed this custom of the elder Cutter,
-had always risen to meet her when she came in. He would conduct her to
-the chair near his desk and attend personally to her affairs, if it was
-no more than the cashing of a check. This morning he was at his desk as
-usual. So was the extra chair, and nobody in it, but beyond a glance
-and a bow he took no notice of her. She went on to the cashier’s window
-and presented a check. She was startled to see him glance at it, then
-step swiftly back to the bookkeeper and make eye sure of her balance
-before he cashed it.
-
-She took the bills, thrust under the wicket and stared about her
-confused. She had lost prestige here. Why? She wondered. She had
-spent the money left from her mother’s estate on the house, and a few
-thousands besides. But she was amply supplied with funds. She had never
-overdrawn her account.
-
-Silly reflections! Childish defense against this financial coldness!
-If Arnold had known that she still had securities to the amount of
-considerably more than one hundred thousand dollars in her safety
-deposit box, his manner would have continued balmy. But he did not know
-this. He only knew that she was spending a great deal of money. And he
-had dined with Shippen the previous evening.
-
-Shippen had told him that she was separated from her husband. When he
-expressed surprise, Shippen expressed regret that he had “let the thing
-out”; he supposed the facts were already known in Shannon, he said.
-
-Arnold assured him to the contrary. He said that he had had a “hunch,”
-because he was subject to hunches as a financial man; but he had rather
-expected Cutter himself to fail. He had never entertained the slightest
-suspicion of Mrs. Cutter. How long had she been separated from her
-husband?
-
-Shippen replied that he did not know; but he had thought probably some
-time before Cutter resigned from the presidency of the Shannon bank and
-took up his residence in New York.
-
-Arnold said he thought it must have occurred quite recently, because
-Mrs. Cutter had been with her husband in New York for at least five
-months. In fact, she had only returned to Shannon late in January.
-
-“I am associated with Cutter. I see him every day. I am constantly in
-his home, a bachelor apartment, and I positively know that his wife has
-never been in the place,” Shippen replied.
-
-“But I tell you she left here soon after Cutter did, and she did not
-return until about two months ago,” Arnold insisted, round-eyed with
-amazement.
-
-Shippen closed his lips grimly, implying that these were the lips of a
-gentlemen. A woman scorned may be dangerous, but a man defeated can be
-meanly revengeful. Shippen was reacting, after the manner of his kind,
-from the disgust he now felt toward this innocent woman.
-
-No, he answered in reply to Arnold’s next question, there had been no
-divorce yet, though he had reason to believe Cutter would be glad to
-get one.
-
-“Cutter!” Arnold exclaimed.
-
-Shippen nodded; then after a pause he added: “My impression is that
-Mrs. Cutter will not be the one to bring the suit, if it is ever
-brought.”
-
-“But he--man, do you know what you are saying about that woman?” Arnold
-exclaimed.
-
-“I am saying nothing about her. I have seen something of her. I paid
-her a visit this afternoon, in fact; but--”
-
-“You know her?”
-
-“Since 1914,” he nodded.
-
-A silence followed this news. Men know one another. Arnold knew
-Shippen. He sat now staring at the tablecloth. It was his duty, but
-he would be sorry to tell his wife. She liked Mrs. Cutter. Also, it
-was his duty to see that the bank was secure in its dealings with
-her. Until this moment he would have advanced her any reasonable sum.
-He would warn Lambkin in the morning to keep an eye on her balance.
-A woman like that had very few financial scruples, and no sense of
-the future. They usually lived by the day. Still, this fellow Shippen
-might be mistaken. Arnold had been a resident of Shannon only a few
-years, but he had inferred that Mrs. Cutter was devoted to her home and
-husband, an ordinary woman, good looking but not attractive. He would
-have sworn she was not attractive. She had never attracted him and in a
-discreet way he had a man’s eye.
-
-He accompanied Shippen to his train; then he went home and told Mrs.
-Arnold.
-
-She was indignant. She said she did not believe a word of it. Later,
-Mrs. Shaw came in to borrow some yarn for a sweater she wished to
-finish that evening. She got the yarn, and this story about Mrs. Cutter.
-
-She agreed with Mrs. Arnold that in her opinion there was not a word of
-truth in it. Still they speculated about how and where Helen had spent
-those five months when she was not in Shannon nor with her husband in
-New York.
-
-We may live above reproach, but few of us live above suspicion of one
-sort or another. It is the active character-sketching faculty we all
-have for drawing real or imaginary likenesses of each other’s secret
-faces. Women are especially felicitous in this art, once they get the
-suggestion. They rarely originate the idea. The most damaging gossip we
-ever hear descends to us almost invariably from men. They whisper it to
-us; we tell it and get more credit for authorship than we deserve.
-
-Thus Mr. Arnold had repeated to his wife what Shippen had told and
-intimated about the Cutters. It is not in the nature of any woman to
-retain such stuff. She must expel it. Therefore Mrs. Arnold told Mrs.
-Shaw.
-
-And so the news flew, until the town was posted with it by the time
-Helen descended into it the next afternoon.
-
-It is one thing to suffer a great humiliation in secret, and quite
-another thing to read it in the eyes of every familiar face. Helen
-understood that her secret was out at last. Nothing else could account
-for the manner of the various people whom she met. She had known, of
-course, that it could not be kept; but she had hoped she might have
-had a little more time to protect herself with the one defense she had
-planned.
-
-Her lips were trembling when she came out of the bank and entered the
-car. “Drive out the River road,” she said.
-
-Buck glanced back, startled by some emotional quality in her voice,
-which was usually a smooth and literal-speaking voice. He was much
-more surprised by the order she had given, for the rain was coming in
-rattling gusts on the March winds and the River road would be “slick as
-glass.” Still, he took it, the big limousine reeling and sliding.
-
-Helen sat as if she had been flung into the corner of the seat. She
-stared through the streaming window at the turgid river. She remembered
-every tree and slope of its banks, although years had passed since
-she had been on this road. Sometimes, when all is ready, when we have
-survived and are about to live, the power of hope fails and the vision
-fades. Helen passed into this coma of defeat. How was she to face these
-looks, this knowledge, this judgment in the eyes of the people of
-Shannon for years and years? Could anything ease this pain? What could
-she love enough to make her indifferent to this perpetual publicity?
-After all, would it not be wiser to give up everything and go away?
-
-The old foundry loomed desolately in the distance, drenched in rain,
-the bare boughs of the trees whipping against it. The great doorway
-seemed to yawn darkness. Nothing green now, no brightness! How long
-ago since in the shadow of this door she had said her prayers to love
-and listened to George’s vows. She remembered everything--the yellow
-primroses at their feet, the blue wings of a bird suddenly spread in
-flight over their heads, the fresh, sweet smell of thyme and George’s
-face bent above her in passionate tenderness.
-
-The world had passed away since then! How could she bear this? It was
-loneliness. She had been dying of loneliness for months. She had never
-been out of pain, not for a moment; she knew this now. She wanted her
-husband--nothing else! Tears filled her eyes; she caught back a sob.
-For an instant her mind held one image, that of the man whom she had
-loved and married; one thought, the whole thought of him, a reeling
-picture of the years filled with only her devotion to him.
-
-Then the wind and tide in her breast died away. The color faded from
-her cheeks. All that had failed. She shivered, sat up, astounded that
-she could suffer like this for a man who had abandoned her.
-
-We are not the only ones who fail, my masters. Sometimes the very
-will of God fails too. A world slips, waggles in its orbit, and goes
-rocketing, catching the light of a thousand suns as it falls and falls
-forever through space.
-
-When they were directly below the foundry, Buck halted.
-
-“Why do you stop here? Go on,” she commanded sharply.
-
-“Miss Helen, we can’t,” he protested. “They ain’t no bottom to this
-road out yonder. Folks don’t go no farther’n where we is now.”
-
-There was a moment’s suspense while the motor purred and he waited, by
-no means enthusiastic about driving in this storm.
-
-“Very well; we will turn back,” she said in a queer voice. She was
-thinking about this road with no bottom in it beyond the place where so
-many lovers came to plight their troth.
-
-Half an hour later, the disgruntled Buck had taken his mud-spattered
-car to the garage, and Helen was still standing on the veranda of her
-house, looking out over her small world.
-
-The rain had passed like a silver veil over the hills. The clouds,
-split by this March wind, were rolling back like huge wagon covers. The
-grass was beginning to show a misty green on the lawn. Pink petals of
-peach blossoms, blown from the orchard behind the house, lay in rifts
-above it. The flowering shrubs, massed on either side of the driveway,
-were budding. The elm trees were shaking their beards of bloom. The
-last rays of the setting sun made all the windows of her house flame
-with golden light.
-
-She could not leave this place; this was her house and her world. Every
-bloom to be was so sweetly foretold to her in this warm air. She could
-not give it up. There must be something to live for and love. She
-suffered most from the breaking of this habit of loving. And the shock
-she had of discovering that she still loved her husband disturbed her
-more than the possible attitude Shannon might assume toward her. She
-was that far from suspecting, you understand, the imaginary activities
-of gossips who are never contented with the bare facts, but must invent
-explanations of these facts according to their fancies.
-
-Well, she decided, she would not go away. She would hold to her
-original plan for happiness. Surely there must be peace and joy in
-love you nurtured yourself.
-
-Then she turned and paced slowly the length of the veranda. Her step
-changed to increasing swiftness as she came back from the far end, her
-face also. She looked as she might have looked if flames enveloped her,
-and she was flying through the wind, a wildness and horror in her eyes.
-
-She dashed into the house, caught sight of the maid in coming up the
-hall, who halted abruptly at this sudden vision of her mistress.
-
-“Charlotte, get my things ready. Pack my trunk. I am leaving on the
-early morning train,” Helen exclaimed as she brushed past her and
-disappeared into her room.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIX
-
-
-There is a place called an Inn above a city in the mountains--it
-was built only a few years ago by a man with a Brobdingnagian
-imagination--a huge pile of bowlders, tunneled and dragged down from
-the mountain sides and put together as if the ages had soldered them
-into a great castle. The walls within are rough and covered with
-strange scripts, fragments of great lines from great poets, sentences
-from philosophers and saints. It is not a place for tourists, but for
-people weary with the strife of living, made obedient to peace and
-silence by exhaustion.
-
-I have seen this place. It is marvelous, and strangely effective
-morally. Bad people get a somnambulant look there, because they are
-sleepwalking in their virtues. They get a look of naïve innocence; or,
-if the system of moral compensation in them is broken, they take a
-horrified look around and escape on the next train.
-
-One morning, so early that the day was still a gray cavern between
-earth and sky with the wild March winds whirling in it, a slender
-woman descended from a taxicab at the gateway to the drive which
-led down the mountain slope to this Inn. She wore a blue coat with a
-fur collar drawn close about her fair face, a small fur hat with an
-exceeding vivid rose tucked into the band of thicker fur around the
-crown and fitted so snugly that a mere line of her bright hair showed
-beneath. She had eyes the color of blue flowers, paler than violets,
-the kind that always look up at you meaningly from the cold ground in
-March--but you do not know what they mean--exactly as this woman’s eyes
-looked upward and abroad now beneath the narrow sweeping line of her
-swallow-winged brows.
-
-She was not young; she was touched with the same sadness of those pale
-blue flowers above the winter earth. But she appeared young in this
-half light of the early dawn. Any man at the sight of her, swinging
-gracefully down the winding road between the naked trees, beneath the
-pearling skies of daybreak, might have conceived the idea of courting
-her. But he would have dismissed it instantly after a nearer reading
-look. He would have perceived that she was already “taken,” that
-she belonged either to a man or to his children. She was not in the
-possessive case.
-
-She loitered along the way, as one familiar with this place, looking
-for remembered things, ferns between the rocks, puffs of green moss
-above these rocks, flashes of wild azalea deeply bowered among the
-laurel bushes, tall stalks of shooting star blossoms white against
-the gray bluff, and a path leading from the roadway up the side of
-the bluff. I suppose there is not even one little high place on this
-earth which has not somewhere upon it a path that goes to the top. And
-frequently the idlest people in the world make them. It is due to the
-futile persistence of the altar instinct in them.
-
-She had come down into the paved plaza in front of the Inn before
-the porter carrying her bags overtook her. She followed him through
-the door and paused at the breath-taking majesty of this huge room.
-Filled with guests, its dignity was diminished; but bare and solemn
-and silent in this early morning hour, it was tremendous. She cast
-a glance upward at the rough walls, scrolled over with those mighty
-texts taken from the Scriptures that men have made for themselves, but
-not one from Moses or the Prophets--the idea being, I suppose, not to
-open the bleeding wounds of conscience in many guests by reminders too
-authoritatively worded about their sins and trespasses.
-
-She caught sight of one at last from Marcus Aurelius as if she had been
-looking for it. The wisdom of it did not apply to her case, but it
-soothed her for that reason, because she remembered it as an exit she
-used to take from her unhappy thoughts during those first months of her
-unnatural widowhood. When you are bedridden within by a secret grief,
-these old negative philosophers are very good drug doctors for your
-complaints. This is why so many miserable women take to the narcotics
-of theosophy and other forms of recumbent mysticisms. They are mental
-opiates.
-
-“Good morning, Mrs. Cutter! Glad to see you back here,” the night clerk
-said, smiling sleepy-eyed at her as she approached the desk. He swung
-the register around and offered her a pen.
-
-“You received my wire?” she asked, when she had written her name.
-
-“Yes, and fortunately we were able to reserve the same room for you,”
-he answered, evidently referring to a request which she had wired.
-
-“Shall you want a car, as usual, Mrs. Cutter?” he called after her as
-she was about to enter the elevator.
-
-“Not until this afternoon. How are the roads?”
-
-“Very good, at least your favorite one is,” he assured her.
-
-She had come to this Inn immediately after Cutter left her the previous
-year. She had recovered her health of mind and strength of body in this
-quiet place; she had profited by the patterns of peace and imagination
-it afforded; and she had spent much time visiting fine old houses,
-studying the manners, ways and clothes of the people who came and went.
-She acquired for the first time in her life some feeling and sense of
-elegance, lines and colors. And it was here that she met the architect
-who drew the plans for remodeling her house at Shannon.
-
-She resumed her old diversions now. She mingled little with the other
-guests, but spent her time driving about the country. She was still
-oppressed by the rude awakening she had, that last day in Shannon, to
-the fact that she loved and longed for her husband. She was disturbed
-and humiliated by this revelation, as one is by the awakening of some
-weakness we believe we have outgrown.
-
-The issue constantly in her mind was whether, after all, it would not
-be wiser to give up her house in Shannon and live this idle, pleasant
-existence. There were no associations here to remind her of the
-past. And in spite of her huge expense in the effort to destroy these
-memories, it was after she came back to Shannon that the old pain and
-unhappiness had returned to overwhelm her. Then this issue was settled
-for her with a horrible, irrevocable decision, and she was flung
-violently back upon the one refuge, her house in Shannon, and the one
-plan she had for substituting love with affection, which she had been
-on the point of abandoning.
-
-One evening she came down late for dinner, passed through the swinging
-doors and sat down at the table reserved for her, which was near these
-doors. The room was filled with week-end guests. She had an excellent
-view of this brilliant company. There were handsomely gowned women,
-rouged and sparkling with jewels; there were more men than were usually
-to be seen at leisure during this man-grasping war period; and quite a
-sprinkling of military officers, evidently on leave from Washington.
-
-Helen had given her order and sat idly scanning the scene before her,
-listening to snatches of conversation from the nearer tables.
-
-She was barely enough like these other women in her ivory-white,
-embroidered Canton crêpe not to attract attention. She was pale, as
-they were painted. Her hair lay in a soft golden coil on her head,
-where their hair ruffled in a thousand glistening convolutions. Her
-lips were parted, showing the lapped edge of the two white teeth. The
-dark lashes of her eyes were more apparent, because of the blueness of
-these eyes and of the whiteness of her skin.
-
-Once she caught the steady, dark gaze of a woman seated directly
-opposite her, but at a distant table. She lifted her own glance and
-hurried by this overhead route back to the bunch of violets in the vase
-on her own table. She could not have told why she did this, probably
-for the same reason one flinches and draws back from the sudden flash
-of a brilliant flame. She sat staring at the violets, wondering about
-this woman, not intelligently, with a sort of amazement which was not
-pleasant. Never before had she seen such a fury of commanding beauty.
-She thought she must be tall. She was very dark--olive skin, flushed
-like a velvet rose; black hair, daringly coiffured and heightened by a
-Spanish comb; a straight, imperious nose; a fine-lipped mouth, red and
-cruelly turned to mirth. But the fury of her beauty lay in the smoking
-black eyes. And the maroon velvet gown she wore seemed somehow to
-enhance the heat of terrible, searing beauty, as if the body of this
-woman had been forged, slim and strong, in a furnace and still glowed
-dangerously and dully.
-
-Helen wondered why she had not seen her when she entered the dining
-room, for now she could almost hear her crackle. Yet she did not look
-up again in that direction. There was a man at the table with this
-woman, she knew; but she had been so startled by the native malice of
-those dark eyes that she had only a blurred impression of his back.
-
-Suddenly there was a sound in this place where the confused murmur of
-many voices made a thousand sounds. It was the rich, rollicking laugh
-of a man, one high note quickly suppressed.
-
-Helen stiffened, her hand flew to her breast as if she had received a
-mortal wound. This trumpeting note of mirth was as much a part of her
-experience as her husband’s kisses had been. Her lips tightened, her
-eyes wide with horror flew this way and that, scanning every face. Then
-they fell again upon the dark woman whom she had forgotten in this
-sudden anguish. Instantly she felt the red lash of this woman’s smile,
-as if she had reached across the space between them to strike a blow.
-There was contempt and recognition in the smoldering black eyes--no
-defiance, but triumph.
-
-The man facing her at this table with his back to Helen caught it,
-flirted his head around to find the object of it--and looked straight
-into the eyes of his wife!
-
-For one instant they held this silent interview with each other in that
-crowded room. Then the woman struck her hands together with a sharp,
-little smack, and let out a gale of laughter, too keen, too high in
-this decent place. Every head was turned toward her, every eye fell
-upon her in polite amazement. Still she laughed. And still George
-Cutter’s eyes followed his wife. For Helen had risen at the first note
-of that stinging laugh and had made her way blindly from the room.
-
-“What happened?” asked a fat man, rolling a pop-eyed look across the
-table at his wife.
-
-“I didn’t see anything,” she replied, taking her soup with the
-absorption of an innocent person.
-
-“Who was the pale lady? Didn’t you see her going out?”
-
-“A lot of people are coming in and going out,” his wife returned,
-skinning the bottom of her soup plate with her spoon.
-
-“And there’s the one that did the laugh,” he said, nodding at the woman.
-
-“She looks like a jade; probably is one,” his wife announced, with one
-appraising look.
-
-“Fellow with her is all in then--head down, knees sprung, tail
-drooping. He’s come a cropper and knows it. Look at him, Lily.”
-
-The old Lily looked at the man before the “jade” indifferently, then
-passed the look on to the service door from whence cometh, or should
-come, the next course of this very good dinner. “Henry, you are a born
-scandalmonger,” she said reproachfully.
-
-“No, it’s an acquired taste, but I have it; and if ever I saw a fine
-scene in a matrimonial melodrama, I’ve just witnessed one. Pale lady’s
-the wife, t’other one’s the gallant gal bandit, and the man’s the
-victim,” he snickered.
-
-Before these guests had finished dining, Helen Cutter had left the Inn.
-
-A week later Charlotte received a wire from her mistress, instructing
-her to send Buck with the car to Atlanta in time to meet a certain
-train at the Terminal Station on a certain day. This message was sent
-from Baltimore, which had not been Mrs. Cutter’s destination when she
-left home, Charlotte observed with a sniff. She did not like Mrs.
-Cutter’s ways, referring to this tendency she had of flying about the
-world alone when she had a perfectly good maid, who had expected to
-accompany her. And she did not like the company she kept, referring to
-Shippen who was the only visitor she had received. And what was more to
-the point, she had no idea of being buried alive in this little speck
-of a town. Therefore she meant to go back to Atlanta in the car, and
-stay there--strong emphasis on the last two words.
-
-It was known in Shannon that “Helen Cutter had gone again.” But as late
-as the third week in April, no one knew that she had returned. There
-was a rumor current that probably she would not come back, since she
-must have realized that everybody knew what had happened.
-
-Then Mrs. Flitch, who was out selling Liberty Bonds one afternoon,
-passed the Cutter place and beheld a baby carriage on the lawn! Not
-only that, but the carriage was obviously occupied, because Maria,
-togged out in a nurse’s cap and apron, was rolling it back and forth
-along the driveway. Mrs. Flitch said later that you could have “knocked
-her down with a feather,” but she decided no matter what kind of woman
-Helen Cutter was, it was no more than right that she should be called
-upon to buy these bonds. Therefore she turned in and walked briskly up
-the drive, meeting Maria directly front of the house.
-
-“Is Mrs. Cutter at home?” she asked, ignoring the old woman’s
-occupation.
-
-“No’m, she ain’t here; she’s gone to git a goat,” Maria answered.
-
-“A goat!”
-
-“Yes’m, a milk goat for the baby,” rolling her eyes.
-
-Mrs. Flitch stood perfectly still, the incarnation of malignant
-virtue, allowing her eyes to pass back and forth between Maria and the
-carriage. The wicker hood concealed the contents from her avid gaze.
-When she could endure her curiosity no longer, she moved slowly around
-to the front, but maintaining a decent distance, and stared.
-
-The baby recognized her at once, grinned, showing several teeth, and
-waved a highly ornamental teething ring.
-
-“Maria, whose child is this?” Mrs. Flitch demanded sternly, as if it
-was her duty to know.
-
-“Miss Helen says it’s her’n,” was the noncommittal reply.
-
-Followed a series of questions as to the age and possible complexion of
-this child. One confidence led to another question until Maria let go
-and told all that she knew, which only increased the cloud hanging over
-the origin of this baby.
-
-She said that she had gone in to clear the table that night in August
-of last year when Mr. Cutter left his wife. She had heard him tell her
-that he was going to leave her.
-
-“What did Mrs. Cutter say to that?”
-
-“Not a word. From first to last I did not hear her open her mouth, Mrs.
-Flitch. But he talked a right smart. I disremember what he said, but
-it wa’n’t praisin’. Then he goes out and banged the door after him. He
-ain’t been here since.”
-
-“And she does not hear from him?”
-
-“Not as I knows of. Miss Helen left ’reckly after he did, and she was
-gone five months. But she wa’n’t wid him. We used to git letters from
-her from a place in Ca’lina.”
-
-“Which, North or South Carolina?”
-
-“I don’t know, ’m. Buck read the letters.”
-
-“This is a strange baby,” Mrs. Flitch announced grimly.
-
-Maria wiped her eyes. She was working herself up to an emotional pitch
-by some act of memory. Mrs. Flitch waited for the revelation she knew
-must be coming.
-
-“I’m goin’ to tell you all I know about how come dis baby. Not as it
-kin explain somethings, like her having black hair and being dark
-complected, but it’s all I know,” she began.
-
-“Go on.”
-
-“After Mr. Cutter was gone, Miss Helen laid in bed three days. She jest
-laid there, white as a corpse, with her eyes open. She didn’t shed no
-tears and she didn’t say anything, mor’n for me to hand her a glass of
-water or somethin’ like that. Then one mornin’ she hops out of bed,
-dresses herself an’ goes downtown to the bank. While she was dressin’
-I comes to the door to fetch her slippers, which I’d been polishin’ in
-the kitchen.” Maria left off and rolled her eyes lugubriously, as if
-such a tongue as she had could not reveal the rest.
-
-“Go on; what happened?”
-
-“Mrs. Flitch,” lowering her voice to a tragic whisper, “she was talkin’
-to herself! ‘Now,’ she says, ‘I kin have children.’ She said them words
-over and over, ’s if she was glad of the chance.”
-
-“But what did she mean?”
-
-“I d’no, ’m. I been in this world a long time, an’ I ain’t never heerd
-no ’oman, white or black, say sech things and her husband jest that
-minute ’sertin’ her. But she’s done it--what she said she’d do. Here’s
-the child,” she concluded, standing like a black exclamation point
-beside the baby carriage.
-
-Mrs. Flitch counted her fingers surreptitiously and regarded the infant
-once more with a sort of expert scientific stare.
-
-“Where is the maid? I understood Mrs. Cutter had a maid?” she asked
-suddenly, as if she was on the point of subpoenaing a more competent
-witness.
-
-“She’s gone. Said she didn’t like the looks of it.”
-
-“Of what?”
-
-“I d’no, ’m.”
-
-“Maria,” Mrs. Flitch said after a staccato silence, “you need not tell
-Mrs. Cutter that I called.”
-
-“La! Mrs. Flitch, hit don’t make no difference. This baby ain’t no
-secret, whatever else it is. Miss Helen don’t keer who knows she’s got
-it,” Maria called after her.
-
-All these months this servant had known what Helen believed no one knew
-in Shannon, the minutest details of that last scene with her husband.
-
-There are no secrets. We may give alms so privately that the twin right
-hand of our left hand remains blissfully ignorant of what we spent
-on these alms. Nothing is easier than to conceal a good deed, if you
-really wish to do so, because it is not our nature to suspect each
-other of secret goodness. It is hard enough to obtain credit when we
-stand on the street corner and proclaim our charity in a loud voice, or
-get the whole beautiful thing exploited in the public press. This is
-what we usually do, being in some mortal doubt whether, after all, the
-reward promised by our Heavenly Father will be conferred openly enough
-or soon enough to pay for the unnatural expense of secrecy. This is a
-mistake, of course, because, while we are duly credited, the smiling,
-cynical interpretation placed upon our motive takes the shine off the
-deed and the alms.
-
-But let one of the best of us become involved in a doubtful deed,
-however innocently, and it is known. Witnesses spring from the very
-ground to swear to your guilt, even if you have gone into your closet
-to taste a pleasant fault. Even if, as in Helen’s case, the evidence
-is flimsy and circumstantial, there is always an eye that sees, an
-ear that hears, a tongue to tell what happened or what apparently
-happened. The deeper truth--the innocence of the wicked, the guilt of
-the saints--remains hidden save from the omniscience of the Almighty.
-This is why it seems to me highly probable that there really may
-be a super-record kept in a Book of Life far removed from the laws
-and judgments of this present world. We shall be graded accordingly,
-exalted or demoted, not so furiously condemned as our own heinous
-imaginations demand.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XX
-
-
-The flamboyant display Helen made of her baby shocked Shannon and
-finally conquered the willful suspicions entertained by her neighbors.
-Her diffidence and reserve vanished. She was exalted. She glowed. She
-had passed into another state of being. This child had related her to
-everybody.
-
-She would have Buck stop the car before the Shaw residence and summoned
-Mrs. Shaw forth to look at it and advise her about whether to keep
-stockings on it or not. Mrs. Shaw said she never did.
-
-On the other hand, Mrs. Arnold said that would depend upon whether
-the baby was cutting her eye teeth. In that case she advised not only
-stockings, but a flannel band about the body. Did Mrs. Cutter know
-whether the little thing was approaching its second summer and stomach
-and eye teeth or not? This question was put very casually, but with a
-shrewd glance.
-
-Helen said she would “see.” Whereupon she thrust an exploring finger
-into the squirming infant’s mouth, felt about in there, withdrew it,
-and announced that she could detect no heralding signs of these
-malignant teeth, but they might be coming. This was an unusually
-precocious baby! Therefore she would get the bands and keep the
-stockings on.
-
-Then she passed on, apparently with no compunctions about having
-defrauded Mrs. Arnold of legitimate information about the baby.
-
-But that lady hurried across the street to tell Mrs. Flitch something.
-“It is not her own child, my dear; I am sure of that,” she said, after
-reporting what Helen had done.
-
-“Well, it could be,” Mrs. Flitch insisted.
-
-“But it isn’t. I don’t think she knows exactly how old the child is.
-And a real mother, you know, can feel when her baby is teething.”
-
-Mrs. Flitch nodded emphatically, held her note of silence a moment,
-then added: “If it isn’t her own, there is no telling what kind of baby
-it is, nor how it will turn out.”
-
-“Well, it is turning out happily for that poor girl anyway. She looks
-years younger, and happy,” Mrs. Arnold replied.
-
-“If Mr. Flitch deserted me, I couldn’t be happy. I’d never hold up my
-head again.”
-
-“She has courage.”
-
-“And she seems to have money,” Mrs. Flitch put in.
-
-“Yes, Mr. Arnold thinks she has ample means.”
-
-“Then it must be alimony.”
-
-“We have heard nothing of a divorce.”
-
-“I think, when people are married, they should live together until
-death parts them. And if they won’t, they should make a clean breast of
-it, and let folks know exactly where they stand, inside the law or out
-of it,” Mrs. Flitch announced virtuously.
-
-“Nothing like that is ever hidden. In time I suppose something
-clarifying will happen.”
-
-“Well, I hope it won’t be disgraceful.”
-
-“It is not easy for scandal to touch a woman who devotes her life to
-bringing up children. Did you ever think of that?” Mrs. Arnold shot
-back. “I think we should stand by Mrs. Cutter and help her all we can
-with this baby,” she added.
-
-“Oh, I’m willing to do my duty. But she never gives me the chance to do
-anything. I’m the mother of five healthy children, yet she will pass by
-my door and ask somebody about that baby’s diet who never had a child,”
-Mrs. Flitch complained.
-
-Thus the wind of private opinion, which is more dangerous than public
-opinion, veered and changed toward Helen Cutter. Her skies cleared,
-without her ever having suspected the fury with which they were charged
-against her. Of all the good women I have ever known, she was the least
-concerned for her reputation. And this is one of the weaknesses of
-that class, a craven, almost guilty fear of evil tongues, which more
-vulnerable women do not share.
-
-There were broken hours, I suppose, when some fleeting vision of the
-past absorbed her peace and joy. We never do escape those whispering
-tongues of memory that make speech with us from the years behind us.
-Sometimes in the late summer afternoon Helen, walking in her garden,
-would halt, transfixed as if a blow had fallen upon her. For the
-briefest moment she would see her young husband swinging along the
-path that led through the old shrubbery to this garden, his eyes fixed
-brightly upon her, the dear object of his love and hopes. And her heart
-leaped as in those first happy years. Then she would close her eyes,
-not always in time to hold back the tears. But if one is proud enough,
-there are tears which leave no trace upon a woman’s face.
-
-More frequently however, it was that last sight she had of him in the
-dining room of the Inn, held so firmly in the grasp of another woman
-that he dared not to rise when she, his wife, passed so near her
-skirts almost brushed him. She would never forget the livid shame and
-horror when he looked back and caught her eye nor the woman’s crackling
-laugh. Sometimes this scene flared before her, and she saw herself,
-with her hand still pressed to her breast, making her blind, staggering
-escape. It was a kind of insurance she carried against the awakening of
-the old tenderness for her husband.
-
-A year had gone by, another spring was at hand; and little Helen was
-learning to toddle on her sturdy legs, a pink rose of a baby with
-short, dark curls.
-
-“She is so good. Are all little children good?” Helen asked, smiling at
-Mrs. Arnold, who was paying one of her frequent visits.
-
-“At this age, yes,” the elder woman replied dryly.
-
-“And I have so little time to devote to her, now that the other baby
-has come,” Helen sighed.
-
-“The other baby!” Mrs. Arnold gasped.
-
-“Why, don’t you know? Haven’t you heard? I have just got a lovely boy,”
-Helen informed her.
-
-“Here? You have him now?”
-
-Helen nodded. “Come and see him. He is too young to bring out yet,” she
-explained.
-
-She led the way to the small crib in the nursery, where a very young
-infant lay asleep.
-
-“It is a fine child,” Mrs. Arnold announced gravely. “How many do you
-expect to--have?” she asked.
-
-“I don’t know yet. It will depend on how I get on with these; but at
-least three. This is little Samuel, named for father. The next one will
-be a girl, named Mary Elizabeth, for mother. I had to call the first
-one Helen. And I am afraid I shall always love her best. She was my
-first happiness, you see, after--after,” she repeated, “unhappiness.
-I doubt if the others will mean so much to me. Do they?” she asked
-anxiously. “I mean do mothers grow to love all their children alike?”
-
-“I don’t know, my dear; but you will,” Mrs. Arnold answered, her eyes
-filling with tears.
-
-“They are treasures I am laying up for my old age. They will be my life
-and joy and hope, when I shall have grown too old to achieve these
-things. Their laughter will lift me. Their love will be my perpetual
-spring. And we shall have weddings in this house,” she concluded.
-
-“You believe in marriage?” the other could not refrain from asking.
-
-“Oh, yes. Even in my own.”
-
-“You would go back to your husband?”
-
-“Never.”
-
-There was a silence.
-
-“But if he comes back to you?”
-
-“He will not come,” she returned.
-
-When I came to know her later, she must have been confirmed in this
-opinion. For I had lived a year in Shannon before I learned that George
-Cutter was not a dead and buried man. He had passed with that flotsam
-and jetsam tide created by the Great War. And the House of Helen had
-become the center of social life in Shannon. She was a sedate hostess,
-always garnished with her children. She had declared this kind of
-natural peace, and kept it in a world rocking with the confusion which
-followed the war.
-
-She belonged to the deep furrow of life, where the soil is rich and
-strong. If she had been an herb of the fields, she would have been an
-evergreen herb. If she had been a tree, her boughs would never have
-shed their leaves. If she had been a rose, she would have bloomed
-fairest above a hoarfrost. The lives of many of us, who were drawn to
-her during this time by one sort of distress or another, took root
-in her quiet heart, and it was her wish that not one of these should
-suffer or perish.
-
-The ignobly wise believe that this opulence of kindness is no more
-than the manifestation of the nature of women, not a virtue, but the
-maternal instinct common to all mammals.
-
-If you ask me, I should point to the prevailing type of modern woman
-as an example of what mere Nature does for a woman. She is a brilliant
-creature, ready to show the iridescent wings of her charms to all
-men, not one man; a childless wife, ready to sue for her liberty and
-alimony on the slightest provocation; an ambitious person, futilely
-active, who farms out her home to servants that she may become the
-dupe and handmaiden of politicians. She belongs to the fashionable
-scrubwoman class, who take the job of cleaning up the town and setting
-the table for the next convention. She is subsidized by compliments and
-favors. There is nothing permanent in her; and she will not increase
-nor multiply after the manner of her kind. She is the lightest, most
-transient phase of her sex we have yet seen. But she is astonishingly
-natural.
-
-Few tales end with the death of the principal characters. They usually
-end just as the heroes and heroines begin to live happy ever after.
-And you are obliged to take the author’s word for that, because the
-statement is contrary to all human experience.
-
-Still you must expect the approaching end of this chronicle, because
-the House of Helen has been established. There remains one last scene.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XXI
-
-
-Beginning with the year 1921 many men, who had too swiftly acquired
-fortunes in the handling of government contracts, began to pass under
-the rod of investigations concerning such wartime profits. George
-Cutter was one of these. Somebody, with a talent for figuring up the
-cost and sales price of lumber left over from a half-finished training
-camp for soldiers, discovered that the said George William Cutter had
-failed to turn in one million eight hundred and some odd thousands
-of dollars due the government. This statement appeared in a New York
-paper. Nothing followed. And nothing was heard of Mr. Cutter for
-another year.
-
-Then one afternoon in May, of 1922, a corpulent, extremely bald-headed
-man, with a seamy face and pouched eyes, stood up in the day coach of
-a train which was pulling into Shannon. He reached for his hat in the
-rack overhead, put it on jauntily, pulled down his vest, which had
-wrinkled up so often when he sat down and had been pressed so rarely
-that it remained faintly fluted diagonally across his broad expanse.
-He squared his shoulders, you may say with a former air, and stepped
-briskly down the aisle and waited meekly on the platform between the
-coaches while several people descended at the station. Then he came
-down, and moved off hurriedly.
-
-No one recognized him. Misfortune does something to you. It changes
-your manner, and takes the swagger out of your step, especially if you
-are the author of your misfortune.
-
-This man walked heavily out Wiggs Street, looking about him furtively
-until he came to the Cutter residence. Then he lifted his eyes and
-beheld it in utter amazement--a fine, wide-winged, colonial mansion
-where a cottage had stood when he left Shannon five years before.
-
-“I have missed her. She is gone,” he mumbled.
-
-At this moment he caught sight of a small girl, who had already got
-sight of him and was regarding him curiously from the shade of a lilac
-bush.
-
-There was a time when he would have strode finely up to the door, rung
-the bell and inquired for Mrs. Cutter; but now he was not equal to that
-display. He had lost his presence. He would get the information he
-needed from this child after the manner of the class to which he now
-belonged, the surreptitious class.
-
-“How do you do, my dear,” he said from the pavement to the small lady
-under the lilac bush.
-
-She stuck a finger in her mouth and continued to regard him.
-
-“Who lives here?”
-
-“My muvver,” she answered, not pridefully, but with assurance.
-
-“And what is your name?”
-
-“Helen.”
-
-He sat down on the terraced wall and stared so long at the ground that
-she feared he had forgotten her, and she was not of the age or sex to
-endure the idea of being forgotten.
-
-“My muvver’s name is Helen, too,” she informed him. “And my brover’s
-name is Sammy. What’s yours?”
-
-“Mine’s George. Ever heard it?” he asked.
-
-She shook her head.
-
-“What is your father’s name?”
-
-“We don’t keep him wiv us,” she explained.
-
-“Oh, you don’t? Where is he?”
-
-She did not know where this parent was, but she could show him Sammy.
-And off she ran, dark curls flying.
-
-The man watched her. Then he fell again to staring at the ground.
-Fervent ejaculations occurred to him, but he uttered not a word. The
-histrionic had died in him.
-
-He saw a car coming rapidly along the street. When it passed, he would
-get up and move on. This house, these children made him a stranger and
-an outcast here as he was everywhere. Why had he returned? Why had he
-not accepted the sentence of shame and defeat, slid on down where men
-rest from honor and hope, that last refuge of complete degradation?
-
-But the car turned into the driveway, covering him with dust as it
-whirled past, and through the dust he beheld the face of his wife. He
-came to his feet and followed with a hurried, shuffling step. He was
-still some distance away when the driver halted before the house, then
-drove on out of sight.
-
-At this moment Helen, who had been about to mount the steps, caught
-sight of him.
-
-He came on, wondering if she recognized him. It was incredible that
-she should know him. When you have been defeated, degraded, caught the
-shadows of prison bars that never lift from before your vision, you do
-not expect recognition; you only fear it. He feared now, with a sort of
-truculent impotence, what might be going to happen. Still he came on
-with that courage of mean despair which men still show when they have
-fallen to the last degree of shameless shame.
-
-Their eyes met--hers calm and steady as the horizon of a perfect day,
-his wavering between doubt and determination.
-
-“Helen!”
-
-Her lips moved as if speechless words died there.
-
-Thus they stood, he at bay, she with the light falling upon her, grave
-and sweet, not condemning him, seeing in him the answer that love and
-fate make to such women.
-
-“Helen,” he cried again, “are you my wife?”
-
-She lifted her hand in that old gesture to her breast, the same pale
-look of ineffable goodness which he remembered. Then, still looking
-back, she turned, mounted the steps and entered the door of her house
-and stood before him as if she waited. She showed against the shadows
-like the figure of a shrine upon a dark hillside above a dusty road
-over which pilgrims come and go. They are never moved, these shrines,
-from age to age. They are altars that do not fall. So are some women.
-They are the sanctuaries of mankind. It is the fashion to despise them,
-but they hold the world together.
-
-Cutter came slowly up the step, with a flash of life and hope in
-his face--an ignoble and worthless man made safe in the shelter of a
-woman’s heart, whose wish was that none should perish who looked to her
-for comfort. It was not love, but honor that opened the door of her
-house to him.
-
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:
-
-
- Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.
-
- Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
-
-
-
-
-
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