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diff --git a/old/60074-0.txt b/old/60074-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3ec517e..0000000 --- a/old/60074-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4353 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mysterious Stranger, by John T. McCutcheon - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Mysterious Stranger - and other cartoons - -Author: John T. McCutcheon - -Release Date: August 8, 2019 [EBook #60074] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Barry Abrahamsen, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - THE - Mysterious Stranger - AND - OTHER CARTOONS - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE - - Mysterious Stranger - - AND - - OTHER CARTOONS - - BY - - JOHN T. McCUTCHEON - - _Author of - Cartoons, Bird Center Cartoons, Etc._ - - -[Illustration] - - - New York - McClure, Phillips & Co. - 1905 - - - _Copyright, 1905, by_ - McCLURE, PHILLIPS & CO. - _Published, October, 1905_ - - -_The Cartoons in this collection were originally published in “The -Chicago Tribune” and the “Chicago Record-Herald” and are reprinted in -this form by permission of the publishers._ - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - _INTRODUCTORY NOTE_ - - -_These cartoons have been reprinted in the hope that they may have a -permanent interest because of the great historical importance of the -period they encompass. In the last two or three years the world has -moved with more than its usual alacrity. It has been a history-making -epoch. There has been a war that WAS a war. There have been disasters -almost without parallel; and we have weathered as pleasant a -presidential campaign as the oldest inhabitant can remember. Mr. -Roosevelt has been insured to us for another four years and his -activities in peace and in war and in sports have been a source of -unending inspiration to the cartoonist. In addition, the nation has -achieved merited glory because of the great exposition held in St. -Louis, and last, but not least, Missouri has taken it into her head to -go Republican._ - -_The importance of these affairs is our excuse for hoping that the -cartoons appearing in this collection may have more than an ephemeral -interest, and with respectful humility, we hereby dedicate them to that -grand old man—sometimes so foolish but always so well-meaning—our Uncle -Sam._ - - _JOHN T. MCCUTCHEON_ - -_October 18, 1905_ - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - THE - - Mysterious Stranger - - AND - - OTHER CARTOONS - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - HE ARRIVES IN “SAN ANTONE” TO ATTEND A REUNION OF THE ROUGH RIDERS. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - A QUIET DAY -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - “_Hurry up, boys! I’ve got ’em treed._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - “_I wish the boys’d get up. Here I’ve had breakfast ready an hour._” -] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - “_The President has been on the trail of a grizzly for four days._” - —NEWS ITEM. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - -[Illustration: - - “_Come on, boys! I’ve got ’em cornered._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SPRINGTIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Every time I think of her, I have the queerest feeling, kind o’ like - a painless stomach ache, only not so much. I wonder why?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SPRINGTIME - -[Illustration: - - “_No, honest, cross my heart, you’re the first girl I ever said it - to._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SPRINGTIME - -[Illustration: - - “_For the land’s sake, child, what ails you, anyway. How many times - must I call you to come to your supper?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SPRINGTIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Some day she’ll be sorry she treated me this away. I’ll go ’way and - make lots o’ money and come back here riding in a carriage with four - white horses, and when she tries to ketch my eye I’ll pertend I - never seen her before._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - COLONEL ROOSEVELT IN YOSEMITE VALLEY - -[Illustration: - - “_That ought to be ‘El Colonel’ instead of ‘El Capitan.’ Oughtn’t - it?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - COLONEL ROOSEVELT IN THE GRAND CANYON - -[Illustration: - - “_Magnificent! It looks like the tented field of a Titan Host! It’s - the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen—Not an office seeker in - sight!_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENT: “I’M HAVING A DELIGHTFUL TIME HERE IN CHICAGO, BUT I MISS - MY DAILY EXERCISE” - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SECRETARY TAFT IN JAPAN - -[Illustration: - - “_I remind myself of Napoleon before the Sphinx. I wonder if it can - tell me who will be the next President of the U.S.A.?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SECRETARY TAFT IN JAPAN - -[Illustration: - - “_No wonder the Japs make good soldiers. They’ve certainly solved the - transportation problem all right._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Just look how much I saved for the Fourth. Ma give me a dime ’n I - sold a copper boiler to Johnson Bros. for twelve cents. I got - sixteen cents for picking cherries for Mrs. Oliver, ’n a nickel for - carrying a note for Mr. Hornbeck, ’n fi’ cents I got for picking - potato bugs for Mrs. Oliver, ’n ten cents for finding Mr. Griswold’s - cow. And I’m gunna spend it all for shootin’ crackers and fire ’em - all off just for you._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_I bet they’re jealous because they ain’t boys, too._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wish the circus ’d hurry up and come. I’m terrible hungry. - We’ve been waiting nearly three hours and it’ll be sure to come if - we go home for breakfast._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I don’t see how anybody can be sad in summer-time, ’specially - if he’s a boy an’ likes to go swimmin’!_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_You just step over that line and I’ll learn you that you can’t call - my little sister a cry-baby._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - THE CHIEF OF THE INDIAN FIGHTERS—“_Don’t cry, they’re not real - Indians—they’re only cornstalks. We’re just pertending they’re - Indians. Come on, you’ll never make an Indian fighter if you act - this away._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_You bet this is the last time I’m gunna visit Aunt Mary, not even if - she invites me._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BOY IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Dog gone it! This kind o’ life ain’t the kind o’ life for me. I’m - gunna run away ’nd be a soldier, ’nd get killed, ’nd then you bet ma - ’ll be sorry she treated me this away._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_It’s funny how much easier it is to work the ice-cream freezer than - it is to churn._” -] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENT HAS GIVEN A ＄100 CHECK TO A CHILD THAT WAS NAMED AFTER HIM - -[Illustration: - - “_Here is a check for little Theodore._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_You’re wanted below, sir._” - “_This is no time to rout a man out. Tell him to wait._” - “_It isn’t a ‘him,’ sir; it’s a ‘them.’_” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Good morning, Mr. President._” -] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - UNCLE ALEXANDER THOUGHT HE HAD AN INVITATION TO THE WHITE HOUSE - - -[Illustration: - - “_I see by the newspaper that President Roosevelt likes to see large - families. Now, I take it, that’s an invitation to visit him, don’t - you?_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - SO UNCLE ALEXANDER AND HIS FAMILY, COUSIN SILAS AND HIS FAMILY AND THE - HIRED MAN AND HIS FAMILY WENT DOWN TO THE DEPOT AND GOT ON THE CARS - FOR WASHINGTON— -] - - -[Illustration: - - WHERE THE PRESIDENT SAID THAT HE WAS “DELIGHTED” TO SEE THEM. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE OSLEROPATHS - - GEN. KUROKI, AGED OVER 60 DR. OSLER CHLOROFORM BRIGADE - - -[Illustration] - - -[Illustration] - - -[Illustration] - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE DEAR OLD FARM AND THE JOLLY CITY LIFE - -WHAT THE FARMER SAYS: - - WHAT THE CITY MAN SAYS: - - -[Illustration: - - “_Staid in bed till nearly 5 this morning because we don’t have to get - up so early in the winter time._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Great guns! are all the windows open? It’s as cold as Greenland in - this flat. The man that called this a steam-heated flat was a poor - describer._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Scraped the frost off the window so’s I could get a squint at the - weather. Looked purty winterish._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Well, I hate to get up, but I suppose I must. Not an ounce of steam - in the place. And just listen to the crunch of those wheels out - there. I’ll bet it’s a hundred below zero._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Boots froze stiff. Guess I forgot to grease ’em last night. They - slipped on about as easy as a section of stovepipe._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Cook is sore. Says she isn’t used to living in an ice-house. I never - saw such haughtiness._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Woodpile covered with snow so I had difficulty getting kitchen fire - started. Finally got enough hot water to thaw out pump._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Have a horrible cold. That’s the trouble with these steam-heated - flats. About the time you get acclimated the furnace goes on a - strike._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Carried in some fodder for the stock. Latch on barn door so dad - gasted cold it pulled the skin off my nigh hand. Curried horses, - etc._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_And you are left with your tubes filled with bronchitis microbes, - and your heart filled with homicidal tendencies. Natural gas low. No - hot breakfast._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Then had nothing to do but wait for daylight and breakfast. Had hot - fried mush, hot ham, some good coffee, and a couple dozen buckwheat - cakes. Seemed to agree with me._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Cable broke and had to stroll downtown. Got to office late and was - called down. Many are called down, but few deserve it._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Shucked corn all morning. In afternoon repaired rail fence on the - east eighty till dark. Then took some nourishment in the shape of - boiled ham and cabbage._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Boss says that it mustn’t happen again. I hope it won’t._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Sat around awhile. Hated to tackle the cold sheets, but finally it - got so late that I had to turn in, though I couldn’t get to sleep - till after 10._” - - “I WISH I LIVED IN TOWN WHERE I HAD SOME OF THE COMFORTS OF LIFE.” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_This city life ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. How I envy the - farmer. He’s his own boss and doesn’t care how often the cable - breaks._” - - “I WISH I LIVED OUT ON SOME PLEASANT FARM THESE FINE, CRISP WINTER - DAYS.” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - IT HAS BEEN SUGGESTED THAT SOCIETY ADOPT A TIME LIMIT MARRIAGE CONTRACT - -[Illustration] - - CHAPTER I - -“_Will you be mine, Felicia?_” “_For how long, Albert?_” “_For fifteen -years, dearest._” “_No, but I will for ten years._” “_Can’t you make it -twelve?_” “_No; ten is the limit._” “_All right. Here’s the ring. Take -good care of it for I may need it again._” - - -[Illustration] - - CHAPTER II - -“_Do you promise to take this woman for better or for worse for ten -years?_” “_Yes, subject, of course, to renewal of contract._” “_Do you -promise to love, honor and obey?_” “_Yes, up to September 14, 1914._” -“_I pronounce you man and wife. Let no man put asunder in the -meantime._” - - - -[Illustration] - - CHAPTER III - -“_Well, Albert, your ten years are up to-day. Do you want an extension -of the contract?_” “_No, thanks, dearest. I’m booked for the next ten -years with Fanny Bishop. Her contract with Charley Bishop expires soon, -you know._” “_Why, of course. How stupid of me to forget. In that case -I’ll accept Arthur Bridgeport for five years. His contract with Adelaide -is up next Friday at noon._” - -[Illustration] - - CHAPTER IV - -“_Whose little boy are you?_” “_I’m Uncle Sam’s little boy._” “_Where -are your parents, my lad?_” “_Papa’s doing ten years with the late Mrs. -Bishop and mamma, I understand, is married at present to Mr. Bridgeport. -Her contract expires some time next month, though, she having failed to -get a renewal. Mamma’s getting old, you know._” - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “THE HAGUE TRIBUNAL” - -[Illustration: - - THE CZAR AND THE MIKADO GO TO WAR -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOCIAL HAPPENINGS AT BIRD CENTER - -Since the war in the Far East began, there has been more or less -interest evinced by our townsmen in the great struggle. Consequently, -when some of our prominent citizens suggested that a talk be given by -Captain Fry on the subject, everybody enthusiastically seconded the -proposition. The gallant captain, himself a keen student of military -strategy, as well as a hero of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, and a thousand -other equally noted battles, promised to give the talk and, in fact, did -give it at the Opera House last Friday evening. Mr. Smiley Green, the -popular undertaker, introduced the speaker with a few timely and -well-chosen remarks, after which Captain Fry launched vigorously into -his subject. - -“First, I want to explain what has led up to the present aggravated -condition of affairs in the Far East. For many years Russia has slowly -but surely been expanding to the eastward, until she is now in -possession of all northern Asia. But she has no outlook to the sea for -her commerce, except the ice-bound port of Vladivostok way up yonder -[pointing to the map]. She is like a great wheat field full of grain -with no gate to get the grain out. So what does she do? She decides to -get a port farther south. When Japan licked the Chinese in ’94, and -captured Port Arthur and a good part of Manchuria, Russia gets France -and Germany to protest against Japan’s retaining Port Arthur. They -protest and Japan is cheated out of the spoils of war. Then Russia -quietly leases Port Arthur from the Chinese for twenty-five years and -moves in. She doesn’t think England will stand for her action, but -England had a weak Prime Minister, and no protest was made. Of all the -nations of the earth, Russia was the most surprised to find that she was -to be allowed to keep Port Arthur. So she proceeded to fortify and -prepared to stay a good deal longer than her lease called for. Japan is -sore, but all the powers were against her. Russia then decides that she -must have all the land between Port Arthur and Siberia, so she proceeds -to occupy Manchuria. When anybody protested she said she was going to -get out day after to-morrow, but she didn’t calculate to. She had worked -a bluff at Port Arthur, so why not work another for Manchuria? Japan was -foxy and saw how it would come out if she didn’t step in and register a -kick. So she demands that Russia move out and Russia says ‘Certainly,’ -but when moving day came, Russia couldn’t find the moving man. Instead -of that, she moved a few thousand soldiers in and hung up a sign, ‘We -are here to stay.’ Then Japan began to oil up her musket. ‘If Russia is -allowed to do as she pleases out here, she will soon have Japan in the -corner pocket,’ she says, ‘and Japan wants at least a little room to -roll around in. We don’t propose to have a big man with a gun leaning up -against us on the starboard side, so here’s where we get busy.’ So Japan -prepares for fight, but Russia doesn’t think she is in earnest. She -calls Japan a little pigmy and delays rolling up her sleeve. At that -moment Japan inaugurated what Mr. Gus Figgey would call ‘Rough House’ -and lands on Russia at Port Arthur with the result that Russia wakes up -to find her solar plexus dislocated.” - -At this point in Captain Fry’s speech there were loud shouts of -approval, in the midst of which could be heard the voice of Gus Figgey -ringing out in strident tones, “Hot stuff, Cap.” - -“And now what is a-goin’ to happen?” resumed Captain Fry. “I will tell -you. Japan is a-goin’ to land a couple regiments on this what’s-its-name -peninsula, destroy the railway, and cut the line of communication to -Port Arthur. Then she can plant her siege guns on the hills back of the -town and throw in a few hundred ton of grape and canister until the -garrison capitulates. Then the Japs can march up through Manchoory, -capture the Siberian railway and in six weeks capture St. Petersburg. -The Japs already have Sayool down yonder in Corea, and can bombard the -Yayloo River when they’re a mind to.” - -Many of the audience congratulated Captain Fry on his address, and -assured him that they now could intelligently follow the news from the -war. - - —J. OSCAR FISHER, in the _Bird Center Argosy_. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A BIRD CENTER VIEW ON THE RUSSIAN-JAPANESE WAR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE GEN. BULLER OF THE ORIENT - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A THRILLING MESSAGE FROM THE EAST - -[Illustration: - - THE BATTLE AND THE WAR CORRESPONDENT -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE WAR CORRESPONDENT AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE PRESS CENSOR AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE EDITOR AND THE STORY OF THE BATTLE -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE VLADIVOSTOK SQUADRON - - No. 1. - -WABASH, IND., JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Chris Newbower and Gus Nelson, two -prominent citizens of this city, report having sighted the Vladivostok -squadron last evening, steaming slowly down the Wabash River. Both men -are citizens of considerable veracity, one having formerly been the -circulation manager of the Wabash _Palladium_ and the other a prominent -politician. People here are inclined to credit the report. Mr. Newbower -states positively that he saw three large ships steaming so near that he -could distinctly see the masts. Mr. Nelson saw six ships, having -probably looked twice. Intense excitement prevails here as there is a -neutral river flatboat nine weeks overdue. It is feared the Russian -ships may have overtaken it. - - No. 2. - -HENDERSON, KY., JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Col. Bunker H. Breckenridge, who is -spending the summer at his home in this city, reports having seen the -Vladivostok squadron lying off the Kentucky shore of the Ohio yesterday -afternoon. The colonel doesn’t remember the number of ships but says the -number corresponded with that of the Russian fleet. The report can be -easily verified, says the colonel, by his grandson who also witnessed -the squadron. Great excitement prevails and the matter is the topic of -general conversation. The sheriff is organizing a posse of colonels to -guard the city in case local shipping is threatened. - - No. 3. - -ST. JOSEPH, MICH., JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Mr. H. Close of Chicago, who has -been Sundaying in this city, reports seeing the Vladivostok squadron -last evening three miles east of this city. Mr. Close was sitting on the -shore thinking about the political situation, when some one near by -called his attention to the squadron. He says that he saw it distinctly, -but didn’t notice how many ships there were, or what direction they were -going. Mr. Close states that he is going down again to-night to watch -for the squadron. Intense excitement prevails. Little knots of bridal -couples may be seen earnestly discussing the sensation. - - No. 4. - -JOILET, ILL., JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Mr. Herbert X. Bughaus of this city came -running into the city early this morning crying out that he had been -pursued by the Vladivostok Squadron. He first saw it near the rolling -mills and stopped for some minutes to count the ships. He counted six -the first time, but a recount showed nine. A Russian admiral commanded -him to surrender, but Mr. Bughaus retreated quickly followed by the -entire squadron. Fortunately he reached the city safely, although -terribly frightened. In an interview Mr. B. stated that he saw the ships -while on his way home or to work, he is not sure which. Great excitement -prevails. - - No. 5. - -PUNTA ARENAS, ARGENTINE REPUBLIC, JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Izaak Walton Jones, -a citizen of this city, reports having sighted the Vladivostok squadron -three miles and a quarter off Cape Horn, about noon to-day. He first saw -the fleet come down the east coast of South America, turn abruptly -around the Horn and disappear rapidly up the west coast. There were -three large ships and they were traveling thirty knots an hour. When -last seen they were turning the corner two miles north of Valparaiso. -Mr. Jones at once brought the news to this city, and, after renewing his -supplies, will return to the cape where he is fishing. - - No. 6. - -DUNDEE, SCOTLAND, JULY 27—(SPECIAL)—Mr. Jem Wethersby, first officer of -the Peruvian bark Calisaya, arrived here this afternoon with the report -that he found evidences of the Vladivostok squadron. At seven bells -night before last, while doing his trick at the watch, he passed a large -piece of wreckage which, he swears, was probably part of a vessel sunk -by the what’s-its-name squadron. Mr. Wethersby has had much experience -in swearing, having been a mate on a tramp steamer for twelve years. -Late this evening we endeavored to get a complete story from Mr. W., but -he was not to be found. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE VLADIVOSTOK SQUADRON - -[Illustration: - - No. 1. -] - -[Illustration: - - No. 2. -] - -[Illustration: - - No. 3. -] - -[Illustration: - - No. 4. -] - -[Illustration: - - No. 5. -] - -[Illustration: - - No. 6. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A STUDY IN COMPARATIVE WORRIES - - -[Illustration: - - COSSACK AIDE—“_I regret to report that Port Arthur has fallen._” - THE CZAR—“_Hush! Don’t wake the baby!_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ANOTHER MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - AFTER THE BATTLE OF MUKDEN - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THESE ARE BUSY DAYS FOR THE BALTIC FLEET - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SEEING THINGS AT NIGHT - - -[Illustration: - - MARGATE, ENGLAND, OCT. 24—(SPECIAL)—_The Eddystone light-house was - attacked last night by the Baltic fleet and totally annihilated. It - is thought the Russian admiral mistook it for a fleet of Japanese - airships._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - DOVER, ENGLAND, OCT. 24—(SPECIAL)—_Late last night a man standing on - the English coast sou-sou’west of this place lighted a match to see - what time it was. He was instantly attacked by the Baltic fleet, the - admiral of which mistook the light for a Japanese signal. Three - twelve-inch shells grazed the astonished gentleman, but fortunately - none struck him. An ultimatum is probable._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - CHERBOURG, FRANCE, OCT. 24—(SPECIAL)—_Heavy cannonading was heard - several miles off this coast last night. A French cruiser at once - put out to the scene of the noise and found the Baltic fleet - attacking the north star. It is thought the vigilant admiral mistook - the light for a fleet of Japanese battleships. An ultimatum is - expected hourly._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - FINISTERRE, FRANCE, OCT. 25, 3:30 - A.M.—(SPECIAL)—_At an early hour this morning the Baltic fleet was - seen steaming swiftly past this point. Soon afterwards a furious - bombardment occurred and continued until the body of an electric eel - was washed ashore much mangled by the deadly cannonading. It is - thought the admiral of the fleet mistook the eel for a Japanese - submarine boat. At the present writing the fleet is bombarding a - drug store down near the beach. The druggist is issuing an - ultimatum._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE THRILLING STORY OF THE CHINA SEA - -[Illustration] - -ADMIRAL ROJESTVENSKY STOOD MUSINGLY ON HIS FLAGSHIP—_“One load more,” he -muttered sadly, “and then our fleet will be coaled and I must leave this -pleasant coast.” For a moment a tear stood in his eye as he peered off -toward the French China shore. The thought of leaving the dear old -scenes, to which he had become so greatly attached, made even the stern -old sailor weep. Dashing aside the tear, he turned to direct the busy -crew who were bringing the coal to the ships._ - -_“Come, my hearties,” he cried, “step lively. We must get away.”_ - -_With these few words, so pregnant of meaning, our hero turned his eyes -toward the great leviathans of the deep. Smoke rolled in mighty volumes -from their funnels and went whirling off in the howling gale. A thousand -cannon strained their cyclopean eyes to the northward; 10,000 Russian -tars crouched defiantly at the breech blocks._ - - - THESE WERE THE MEN BEHIND THE GUNS! - - -FOR A FEW MOMENTS THE ADMIRAL STOOD THERE IN DEEP CONTEMPLATION, -LISTENING TO THE SHOUTING SEAS AND THE SCREAMING OF THE WINDS. THEN, -TURNING SLOWLY, HE MADE HIS WAY TO THE BRIDGE—_“Anything in sight?” he -inquired of a bystander._ - -_“Forty ships off the port bow, sir. All steamers, sir, but I can’t make -out their colors.”_ - -_“Humph,” said the admiral, in Russian. “Fishing boats, probably,” and -dismissed the matter from his thoughts._ - -AGAIN HE TURNED HIS EYES SHOREWARD AND ANOTHER TEAR APPEARED—_“Ah,” he -mused, “I have been so happy here. If my weekly paper had not come so -irregularly of late I should be perfectly happy here. Heigh ho, I must -not yield to sentiment in this manner.”_ - -A THOUGHT THEN STRUCK HIM AND HE TURNED TO GIVE AN ORDER TO A HANDSOME -BYSTANDER WEARING SPURS—_“I’ll pipe all hands below and give my men a -night’s rest.”_ - -_In the twinkling of an eye the wireless telegraph was sending forth the -glad news, and a moment later 10,000 Russians tars were peacefully -sleeping in their hammocks. A great silence lay over the mighty -battleships._ - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FRENCH IDEA OF NEUTRALITY - -[Illustration: - - “_We must surely do something to preserve our neutrality._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_There is no doubt about it. We must surely do something to preserve - neutrality._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_As we were saying, we must beyond doubt do something to preserve - neutrality._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Yes, sir! We will notify the Russians that they must leave French - waters._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “I BEG TO REPORT, YOUR MAJESTY, THAT THE BALTIC FLEET HAS ARRIVED AT - VLADIVOSTOK” - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - TAKING HIS PLACE - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A GIRL IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - HER FIRST PAIR OF JUMPERS—“_Am I a little boy now, mama?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A GIRL IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - HER FIRST FISHING TRIP—“_I wonder if the fish know I am here._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A GIRL IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Oh, mamma! Look at the watermelon tree!_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A GIRL IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - “_Did you really think I was a strange little boy, papa?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A GIRL IN SUMMER-TIME - -[Illustration: - - BETWEEN TWO DEADLY PERILS -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE DAY AFTER RED SUNDAY IN ST. PETERSBURG - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BUT HIS SOUL GOES MARCHING ON - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE IROQUOIS FIRE - - [CARTOON PRINTED JAN. 1, 1904] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HIS SUNDAY DINNER - - [AFTER THE IROQUOIS FIRE] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MRS. SCADSWORTH GOES AWAY FOR HER HEALTH - -[Illustration: - - THE DOCTOR—“_What you need, Mrs. Scadsworth, is lots of outdoor - exercise—horseback riding, walking, mountain air._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Mrs. Scadsworth arrives at the mountain resort and takes some - exercise between the breakfast room and the card room._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Where she and her friends start a game of Bridge._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Which continues without interruption during her stay in the - mountains._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE LATEST INNOVATION IN NEW YORK - -[Illustration: - - PROFESSOR—“_Is there any solitude in the world greater than that of a - stranger in a great city?_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Well, surely, a man need not be lonely with an institution like that - close at hand._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - PROFESSOR—“_I like intellectual ladies, but I’m afraid she’s too - intellectual for me. I’ll hire No. 20._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - _The Professor and his guide, No. 20, see the sights._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE LATEST FRENCH DUEL: OR, HOW AN INSULT TO JOAN OF ARC WAS AVENGED - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FARMER OF FICTION AND REALITY - -[Illustration: - - THE POPULAR NOVELIST—“_Now I’m going to write a great novel on - American farm life and I think I’ll go out and find the real - type—the kind with chin whiskers who says: ‘B’ gosh, I’ll jest swan - to Guiney.’_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Say, Bub, I’m looking for a typical farmer like this. Do you know of - any farmers around here?_” - - “_My Pa’s a farmer, but he’s gone over to town to get a new tire for - his auto. You might ask Ma, over there. She’s reading about the - yacht races._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Great Scott! is this the farmer of to-day? I haven’t heard any of - them say ‘B’ gosh, I’ll jest swan to Guiney,’ and none of them looks - like the jay pictures._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Won’t you stay for supper and drive over to the Chautauqua meeting - afterward?_” - - “_No, thank you; I’m going back to town._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CITY FELLER THAT WENT OUT IN THE CORN BELT AND - CRITICISED THE HOT SPELL - -[Illustration: - - FARMERS (INSPECTING CORN CROP)—“_Well, boys, things look mighty blue - for a good corn crop unless we get some good, sweltering hot weather - pretty soon. The corn looks mighty skimpy. Just look at them - ears—they ought to lop over instead of standin’ straight up._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_Hooray! That’s the stuff, Mr. Sun. You can’t make it too hot for us. - Just listen to the corn grow._” -] - -[Illustration: - - THE SEWING-MACHINE AGENT—“_Morning, gents. Hain’t this sun fierce? I - wish it would blow up a frost or a good heavy rain and cool off - things a bit._” -] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A MESSAGE FROM THE FRONT, OR, RATHER, WHERE THEY PUT UP A FRONT - -[Illustration: - - “MY DEAR HUSBAND—_I arrived here last evening, and O, I’m having the - loveliest time. It is perfectly grand here—all so quiet and restful, - too. This morning I intended to take a long walk before breakfast, - but the maid was so slow in hooking me up that breakfast was all - over when I got down._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_After taking a bite or two I put on my riding habit, but by that - time it was so near the luncheon hour that I decided to wait until - after I had eaten. And besides, I found that I could get no horse. I - wore my embroidered grenadine at luncheon. It was really the - prettiest gown on the veranda. I’m just having a perfectly lovely - time here!_” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_We all intended to walk over to the golf links after luncheon, but - when I had put on my walking suit it was time to dress for dinner. - So we walked a little way and then returned._” -] - -[Illustration: - - “_The big dining-room was perfectly gorgeous. It was all lit up, and - so were all the women. I wore my new lace net robe trimmed with - Russian applique, and I really was very easy to look at, although - the men all strained their eyes. This has been a heavenly day, and I - do so wish you were here, but, poor boy, I suppose you must stay at - home and work. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this unconventional - life after my long winter of endless dinners and receptions. It is - such a relief to be able to do as one pleases. Please have Hester - send me the new gowns as soon as they come from the dressmaker’s, as - I positively have nothing to wear._”—YOUR DEVOTED WIFE. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ANOTHER BOARD OF INQUIRY - -[Illustration: - - “_What is father striking for, mother? Higher wages?_” - “_No, dear. The wages are satisfactory._” - “_Is he striking for shorter hours?_” - “_No, dear. The hours are satisfactory. It’s a sympathetic strike._” - “_Sympathy for us, mother?_” - “_No, dear._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WHAT IS THE MOST INTENSE HAPPINESS THAT A HUMAN CAN FEEL? - -[Illustration: - - IS IT THIS—“_Well, Bill, you won’t have to hang to-morrow. The - governor has signed your reprieve._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - OR IS IT THIS—“_There! your last tooth is filled and you won’t have to - come again for years._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - OR IS IT THIS—“_Hooray, Charley! your ticket has won the capital prize - in the lottery!_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - _No, it is this._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WHAT IS ABSOLUTE UNHAPPINESS? - -[Illustration: - - _Is it that which is experienced by the poor North Pole seeker whose - ship is wrecked, leaving him stranded on an iceberg with nothing to - eat but candles, and nothing to drink but dew, and no dew at that?_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Or is it the shipwrecked mariner who has drifted for many days on the - face of the deep with no place to land but on the shores of an - island inhabited by anti-vegetarians?_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Or is it the poor Christian who is on the eve of playing an important - part in a Turkish massacre?_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _No! The only real misery is that felt by the small boy who has to go - to school this fine circus weather._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE ANNUAL TRAGEDY - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - AS HE WOULD HAVE LOOKED IN MODERN GARB - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - DECORATION DAY - -[Illustration: - - “_Well, which story shall I tell you—the one about the time I was - wounded, or the time I swam the river after the chickens?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FOURTH OF JULY - -[Illustration: - - NICE OLD GENTLEMAN—“_Well, my young friend, I suppose you know what - this glorious holiday means?_” - YOUNG GENTLEMAN, CELEBRATING—“_Sure, but I don’t care. My pa’s a - doctor._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FIFTH OF JULY—CALLING THE ROLL - - ADAPTED FROM A FAMOUS OLD POEM - -[Illustration] - - “Benjamin Jones!” the father cried; - “Here!” was the answer loud and clear, - From the lips of the youngster standing near; - And “here!” was the word the next replied. - “Johnnie Jones!” and a silence fell - This time no answer followed the call; - Only his brother saw him fall, - Killed or wounded, he could not tell. - - There they stood in the morning light - On July the fifth, the present year, - And the roll was read in accents clear - By the senior Jones, who was ghastly white. - “Charley Jones!” at the call there came - Two ambulance men and some doleful groans - As they bore in the body of Charley Jones, - Greatly disfigured, to answer his name. - - “Albert Jones!” and a voice said “here!” - “Chauncey Jones!” “He’s down at St. Luke’s - With a couple of badly damaged ‘dukes,’ - The doctors say he’ll be well next year.” - “William Jones!”—then some one said: - “A small toy pistol went off and shot him, - And the ambulance people hurried and got him - To make some repairs on his injured head.” - - ’Twas a gallant day but it cost us dear; - For that family roll when called to-day, - Of a total of seven that entered the fray, - Numbered but four that answered “here!” - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HIS THANKSGIVING DINNER - -[Illustration: - - “_I s’pose they’re just sitting down to dinner now._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - IMPORTANT NEWS - -[Illustration: - - “_We’re gunna have ice-cream for supper._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SUDDEN INCREASE IN DEATH RATE SINCE THE BASE BALL SEASON OPENED - -[Illustration: - - “_Me brudder said to give ut to youse._” - - “_Ah, this is very sad. What caused your poor - grandmother’s untimely end?_” - - “_Sir?_” - - “_What did she die of?_” - - “_Don’t it say in de letter?_” - - “_No, Jimmy has not mentioned the disease. Was - it pneumonia?_” - - “_Yes, sir._” - - “_Was she sick long?_” - - “_Sir?_” - - “_How long was she sick? A couple of years?_” - - “_Yes, sir._” - - “_So Jimmy’s home with his grandmother now?_” - - “_No, sir._” - - “_Where is he?_” - - “_He’s waitin’ outside._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ON DECORATION DAY - -[Illustration: - - “_You bet I’m goin’ to be a soldier, too, like my Uncle David, when I - grow up._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wonder how soon recess is?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING - -[Illustration: - - “_Ma says mebbe if we’re good we can eat at the first table - to-morrow._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WE ARE NOW APPROACHING THE TIME WHEN EVERY HOME IS FILLED WITH - MYSTERIOUS INTRIGUE AND CONSPIRACY - -[Illustration: - - MAMMA—“_Don’t come in here, children! Run out and play like a good - little girl and boy._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - PAPA—“_Don’t come in here! Run out and play, kids. Run along now._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I wonder why everybody always wants us to run out and play. I wonder - why._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “CHRISTMAS IS COMING” - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - PREPARING FOR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING - -[Illustration: - - “_I s’pose that R.S.V.P. means ‘Remember to Send Valuable Presents.’_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THREE SUNDAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS TREES - -[Illustration: - - “_We want to go to the Sunday-school. Where is it at?_” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE SILENT PARTNER OF THE FIRM OF SANTA CLAUS & CO. - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ON THE GREAT EVENTFUL MORNING - -[Illustration: - - “_And now is it Christmas, mamma?_” - “_Yes, dear, this is Christmas morning at last._” - “_Why it looks just like any other day. I thought it was gunna be - bigger. It looks bigger on the calendar._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT HAS BEEN MADE AN HONORARY COLONEL OF A BRITISH - REGIMENT - -[Illustration: - - EXTRACT FROM “LONDON TIMES,” AUGUST 18, 1911—_In the war maneuvres - yesterday, Honorary Colonel Roosevelt, of the Brixton Rough Riders, - led his regiment in an extraordinarily fine charge up Ludgate Hill, - arriving at the top some hours before his regiment. The king - witnessed the charge from a safe position on the obelisk. There was - quite a panic in Lombard Street, many of the leading financiers - hastily retiring to Hyde Park upon hearing that the gallant colonel - was to make the charge. Some of them are still missing, but - doubtless will soon be found. One hundred and sixty women fainted, - nineteen horses ran away, and one unfortunate man had his leg broken - while trying to climb Trafalgar Monument. The dome of St. Paul’s - will be repaired within the next fortnight._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOCIAL HAPPENINGS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. - -[Illustration: - - THE PRESIDENT RECEIVES A FEW DELEGATIONS OF VISITORS IN THE STATE - DINING-ROOM AT THE WHITE HOUSE. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MISS ROOSEVELT ATTENDS THE HORSE SHOW - -[** music] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - CAMPAIGN POEMS AND PORTRAITS BY PROMINENT POLITICIANS - - -[Illustration: - - MR. CLEVELAND’S PICTURE OF HIMSELF AND MISS DEMOCRACY. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - CAMPAIGN PORTRAITS AND POEMS - - -[Illustration: - - PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT, BY VOX POPULI -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “THE REPUBLICAN DERBY” - - -[Illustration: - - ON THE EVE OF THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HUMORS OF THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION - - -[Illustration: - - THE DELEGATE—“_They say the night of June 21 is the shortest of the - year, but, by geminy, it seems the longest to me._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - _The editor of the_ “Anaconda Avalanche” _finds that they have not - made provision for his staff_. -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE LAY OF THE DELEGATE—“_I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - AFTER THE REPUBLICAN CONVENTION - - -[Illustration: - - NEWS FROM THE FIRING LINE -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MR. CLEVELAND—“I WON’T RUN ANOTHER STEP” - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NOMINATING THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR VICE-PRESIDENT - - -[Illustration: - - “_Gentlemen of the convention, I rise to nominate for Vice-President - that peerless statesman, that grand old Jeffersonian Democrat, that - wealthy patriot, Mr.—Mr.—ahem—Mr.—_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “—_that wealthy patriot, Mr. Davis, whose name is a household word in - Elkins, West Virginia. It is moved and seconded that the nomination - be made unanimous._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_He is therefore nominated and the convention is adjourned._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - GROVER—“I WASN’T VERY HUNGRY ANYHOW.” - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A SAD CASE OF DESERTION - - -[Illustration: - - _Late Wednesday night a dark figure was seen to emerge from the - neighboring gloom and deposit a mysterious bundle in the middle of a - vast and lonely prairie. Plaintive cries were heard to issue from - the bundle._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _The figure then stealthily departed, leaving the bundle in the midst - of the prairie._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _No important clues were left by which the identity of the dark figure - could be traced. A close search developed several slight clues, - which, though slight, may lead to detection. A copy of the Kansas - City platform was found nearby; also a copy of “The Commoner”; also - a card marked “W.J.B.”; also a well-thumbed photograph of Grover - Cleveland; and also several bound volumes of speeches, entitled - “Free Silver Speeches, by W. J. Bryan.” The child that was deserted - had its name artistically worked on a bib and was very weak from - long exposure._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOME FORGED CAMPAIGN LETTERS - -[Illustration] - - DOWN WITH THE WORKINGMAN - - To Patrick Mc Graw, President Amalgamated Order of Honest - Workmen. - - Sir:— - - Your letter received. Personally, I consider the request that - you make should more appropriately be presented to the mayor or - your city. At the same time I cannot miss this opportunity to - say a few things about labor organizations in general. I think - organized labor is a serious menace to the welfare of our - institutions; and I further think that any man who belongs to a - Union should be treated as a criminal. There is no good in - Unions. Every man who belongs to one is worse than an anarchist. - If I am elected my first official act shall be to have every man - who belongs to a labor union expelled from the country or - de-naturalized. Furthermore, I think that men who work for a - living have no license to live anyway. - - Yours respectfully, Theodore Rosefelt [** signature] - - - HURRAH FOR WALL STREET - - ROSEMONT FARM - - Mr. J. Pierpont Morgan, 952 Wall Street, New York City. - - Dear Friend:— - - Thanks for your very friendly letter. I am much encouraged by - the news you send and am very glad to hear that the sentiment is - so favorable to me. John D. called on me yesterday and left a - substantial check, which, of course, will not be recorded in his - name. It is needless to say that if I am elected my gratitude - will assure a very substantial form and my friends in Wall - Street need never fear that their prosperity will be jeopardized - by any official act of mine. I shall be in New York Saturday and - should like to see you privately at the Metropolitan Club. Mr. - Baer, of the Reading Road, will also join us there. - - Yours gratefully, Alton P. Barker [** signature] - - - THE HONEST FARMER IS A JAY. - - George K. Jamison, Chairman Hancock County Republican Control - Com. Dear Sir:— - - I regret very much that I cannot manage to speak before the - Farmers’ Institute next Thursday afternoon. I have a luncheon - engagement with the President of the Michigan Northern Road and - cannot break it. Please express my regrets and say that I hope - the farmers, who are the bone and sinew of this great nation, - will come forward and do their duty on election day. - - Yours respectfully, [** signature illegible] - - - THE LABORING CLASSES ARE GETTING TOO MUCH MONEY. - - OFFICE OF THE - CONSOLIDATED COAL MINING CO. - - To Stephen Elkins, Washington. - - Dear Son-in-Law:— - - I shall be home Thursday. Am very tired and worn out. I do not - believe that I can keep up this pace for six months more. My - back aches, I fainted from over-exhaustion yesterday, and the - only food I can eat is pre-digested milk. Please have Murphy, - the foreman of the mine, discharge the laborers who are - agitating for higher wages. We are now paying them 80 cents a - day and what can these ignorant German and Irish laborers - expect? They never earned that much at home and yet they dare to - come over here and make these preposterous demands. I never - could tolerate the Germans and Irish anyway. However, do not - mention this fact before election day. - - Yours affectionately, Henry G Davids [** signature] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MAYOR HARRISON’S CONFERENCE WITH JUDGE PARKER AT HOTEL SEVILLE, NEW YORK - -[Illustration: - - MAYOR HARRISON TO JUDGE PARKER—“_Judge Parker, I promise you the - electoral vote of Illinois. And more than that—_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I promise you the electoral vote of Wisconsin! And that is not - all—_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I promise you the electoral vote of Indiana! And while I’m at it—_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I might as well promise you the electoral vote of Ohio, - Pennsylvania, Iowa, Michigan, etc._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - DESERTED; OR, THE TRAGEDY OF THE DESERT ISLAND - - -[Illustration: - - MR. BRYAN—“_You’re a bad lot and you’re all in cahoots with the wicked - Wall Streeters._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_You got your nomination by crooked and indefensible means. Your - platform is straddling and meaningless BUT_” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I think I’ll get aboard and four years from now I can organize a - relief expedition for my forsaken comrade._” -] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “HOMELESS” - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER - -[Illustration] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - “HOORAY! FOUR MORE YEARS OF TEDDY” - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE GRAND INAUGURAL PARADE AS SEEN FROM A DISTANCE OF 900 MILES - -[Illustration] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - DROPPING DOWN TO THE FAIR FOR CHICAGO DAY - -[Illustration] - - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WHOM ARE THEY EXPECTING? - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENT VISITS THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration: - - “DE-LIGHT-ED” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MISSOURI SHOWS THE PRESIDENT - - -[Illustration: - - ON THE PLAZA. ST. LOUIS—_The President: “That sign reminds me of the - way the people in New York voted at the polls on election day.”_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - AT THE STREETS OF CAIRO—_The President: “This reminds me of election - day.”_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - ON THE PIKE—_The President: “Let’s go over and see if we can find a - Democrat.”_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - AT THE BOER WAR—_The President: “This reminds me of the Battle of San - Juan Hill.”_ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PRESIDENTIAL HOLIDAY - - -[Illustration: - - AFTER THE PRESIDENT LEFT ST. LOUIS -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE - - -THE POOR COUNTRY BOY OF TO-DAY MAY BE THE POWERFUL MAGNATE OF TO-MORROW, -SO BE CAREFUL WHOM YOU TURN DOWN. - -[Illustration: - - “_No, young man, I can’t give you a position. You have no experience, - and I won’t be bothered teaching beginners. Good-day, sir._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Well, the firm is going to put me in charge of their western - business next week. That’s pretty good for my first five years._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - TWENTY YEARS LATER—“_Hello! I wonder what Hornbeck wants. Perhaps he’s - returning the call I paid him twenty-five years ago._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - MR. HORNBECK—“_Mr. Worthy, I’m in hard straits, and unless you help me - I’ll have to go to the wall. Just put yourself in my place and you - will realize how much your assistance will be appreciated and how - much it will mean to me._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NOW IS THE TIME WHEN THE PROMINENT CITIZEN TELLS THE COLLEGE GRADUATE - HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL - -[Illustration: - - “_Remember, my young friends, that the three essentials to a - successful and honorable life are industry, frugality and unswerving - honesty._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE NEXT DAY—“_Send this schedule of my personal property over to the - assessors to-day, then telegraph our Louisville branch to undersell - that new competitor until we bust him, and then have my automobile - at the club at three. If anybody calls, tell them I’ve gone out to - the races._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE - - ILLUSTRATING THAT IDEALS ARE SUBJECT TO RADICAL CHANGES - -[Illustration: - - AT FIFTEEN YEARS OF AGE—“_No, Willie, the man I shall marry must be - tall and handsome, with beautiful soft eyes and a soulful - temperament._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - AT TWENTY—“_No, Alfred, the man I shall marry must have great - influence and a high position in the world._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - AT THIRTY—_To Mr. Scadsworth, President of the bank: “No, the man I - shall marry must be big and powerful—a man born to command—a man of - imposing appearance.”_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - AT FORTY—“_Man wanted,—must be white._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE - - ILLUSTRATING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU HAVE, YOU WANT SOMETHING THAT - SOMEBODY ELSE HAS - -[Illustration: - - SAM ALEXANDER—“_By jing, if I was fixed as well as Curt Hawkins, I’d - be just about satisfied; 240 acres of good land, all tiled and - unencumbered, a hundred head of cattle, a likely bunch of shoats, - money in the bank, to say nothing of as nice a wife as ever put on a - wedding-ring._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - CURT HAWKINS—“_Now, that’s the way I hope to be fixed some day. - Colonel Porter’s worth at least a million, goes abroad every summer, - has a couple fine residences, and the handsomest wife in the - county._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - COLONEL PORTER—“_I wish we were as well fixed as Lycurgus Scadsworth. - There he goes out to his yacht with a bunch of royalty, and they - don’t know we’re on earth. Great Scott! I envy that man._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - LYCURGUS SCADSWORTH (_as Sam Alexander sprints at the first note of - the dinner bell_)—“_Ah, that’s the life! Simple, wholesome and - natural! I’d give my tired soul and everything I have for an - appetite like that man’s._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A PICTORIAL SERMONETTE - - ON THE PURSUIT OF WEALTH - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration: - - THE MAN WHOSE SOLE OBJECT IN LIFE IS MONEY MAKING -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR SUNDAY PICTORIAL SERMONETTE - - SHOWING THAT PEOPLE DON’T ALWAYS MEAN EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAY - -[Illustration: - - “_Welcome, my dear old friend. Our house is yours, and you must make - yourself perfectly at home._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE GUEST—“_Now for a quiet time with my good old pipe, just as I do - when I’m at home._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_I’ve taken the liberty of sending Little Rollo over for some beer. - When I’m at home I always like a little beer just before going to - bed._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_When I’m at home I always have a few friends drop in occasionally - for a friendly game, so I thought I would do the same here._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE FARMER BOY THAT DOESN’T SUCCEED IN THE CITY AND THE ONE THAT DOES - -[Illustration: - - 1—“_I hate this drudgery, working from daylight to dark. I’m going to - Chicago where you don’t have to work so blamed hard. I want to see a - little gaiety._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - 1—“_I’m not cut out for farm-life. I believe if I tried Chicago and - buckled down to hard work for a few years I’d make a go of it._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - 2—“_Now, this is better—I can see something of life up here._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - 2—“_I have to work about as hard here as I did on the farm, but I am - determined to win out at it._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - 3—“_There seems to be a conspiracy against country boys up here—I - don’t seem to be able to get any sort of a job that pays well._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - 3—“_They seem to like country boys here, because they say we have - higher ideals and better habits of industry._” -] - - MORAL:—“_It all depends on the boy._” - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HOW NOT TO GET A GOOD JOB - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wish I could get a good job._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wish I could get a good job._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wish I could get a good job._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - “_Gee! I wish I could get a good job._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ALL PLEASANT JOBS COME ONLY AFTER YEARS OF HARD WORK - - -[Illustration: - - “_Here am I, slaving along at $15 a week, and there is Baxter, working - only half as hard as I do, and getting ten times the salary I get. I - wish I had a snap like his._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - HOW BAXTER GOT HIS SNAP -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THIS PECULIAR FACT ABOUT MURDER CASES? - - -[Illustration: - - “_Not a soul in sight. I shall never be detected._” - (_✠ Represents scene of prospective crime._) -] - -[Illustration: - - _But at the trial it develops that the murderer dropped his - handkerchief, also two cards with name and address; also that a man - going for a doctor saw and recognized him; also that the janitor and - his wife saw him from the basement window; also that a couple on the - steps saw him distinctly; also that a man who couldn’t sleep looked - from the window and saw him; also that a tramp sleeping on a bench - awoke and saw him; also that a belated cab driver saw him plainly; - and also that the driver of a milk wagon saw him approaching the - scene of the crime._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE MARCH OF CIVILIZATION - - -[Illustration: - - TOMMY ATKINS—“_So this is the bloomink sacred city. My word, what - jolly fine walls for pill advertisements._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE TRACTION QUESTION IN A NUTSHELL - - -[Illustration: - - “_I’ve made a careful study of the Traction Question, and if you hold - real still I’ll tell you the answer. If you think it over as - carefully as I have you’ll soon know just as much as I do. I used to - get up at three o’clock and sit in the dark thinking it out. I - didn’t dare light a light for fear Mr. Yerkes would find me and sell - me some stock. Finally, one morning, about half-past four I got it - all thought out except where the stockholders come in, and just then - Mr. Yerkes and Mrs. Chadwick rode in on two white giraffes with a - trunk full of stocks. So I ran down the street yelling, and some one - suggested a nice, quiet upholstered room where I would be safe. So I - came here and you mustn’t tell Mr. Yerkes where I am. And now I’ve - got it all thought out. You first have to multiply Port Arthur by - the new Chicago Post Office and carry two. Then you subtract and let - stand in a cool place until you become impatient, and that’s the - answer._” -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE HORSE SHOW AT LAKE FOREST - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - CHICAGO’S PROPOSED FASHIONABLE PARADE ON MICHIGAN AVENUE - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - THE SCENE IN LINCOLN PARK WHEN “CHIEF CHICAG” ARRIVED -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - LURID RED FIRE REPRODUCTION OF THE GREAT CHICAGO FIRE OF ’71 -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - THE BAND CONCERT ON THE LAKE FRONT -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - THE PARADE, VISIT TO THE STOCK YARDS, ROWING CONTEST, ETC. -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - THE INDIAN ENCAMPMENT IN LINCOLN PARK -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OUR WOODCUT HISTORY OF THE CHICAGO CENTENNIAL JUBILEE - -[Illustration: - - THE GRAND BANQUET OF THE VISITING MAYORS AT THE AUDITORIUM -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOME HAPPY LITTLE VACATION SUGGESTIONS FOR OUR READERS - - -SUGGESTION I—Charter a good, seaworthy steam-yacht, stock it well with -seasonable food and drink, and cruise along the New England coast. -Frequent stops may be made at the various watering places, thus -pleasantly breaking the voyage. After having exhausted these points of -interest, you will find it enjoyable to continue the cruise to Sweden -and Norway, and, if your time permits, a still further cruise among the -beautiful fjords of New Zealand will be found extremely delightful. The -weather is now perfect in New Zealand, and if you have a camera you can -get some most excellent pictures. For a trip such as this one should -secure a steam-yacht of perhaps 2,500 tons, with a crew of thirty men. A -white yacht is preferable, white being cooler than black. If you do not -mind the additional expense, a cow should be taken, thus insuring fresh -milk during the voyage. As for equipment, you should take heavy and -light clothes, a pair of deck shoes, a mackintosh, and a pair of smoked -glasses to protect your eyes while going through the Suez Canal. The -cost of this outing will amply repay you for your pleasure, and we -strongly recommend it. - - * * * * * - -SUGGESTION II—Another delightful vacation which we earnestly recommend -would be to spend your two weeks’ holiday in Scotland. Here one may rent -a beautiful estate, abundantly stocked with game—croquet, golf, bridge, -etc.,—and with plenty of good riding-horses, and at least one mail coach -for coaching parties, the hours may be most delightfully beguiled. You -could give frequent entertainments, such as jolly little tours in the -highlands, etc., and it would be well to have the castle the scene of -many congenial house parties. Occasionally you should give lawn fêtes to -which the peasants and tenants from the neighboring countryside may be -invited. - -Such an estate may easily be secured by going through the necessary -preliminaries. You should insist, however, that your London agents -secure a castle with a porch well screened with mosquito bars. The cost -of such a place would be either moderate or upwards. - -As the highlands are often cool during the evening hours, you should -take a heavy overcoat and at least one suit of flannels. - - * * * * * - -SUGGESTION III—Our third suggestion would be to make up a jolly little -party and spend your July vacation in touring Switzerland and the -Petroleum Alps. Excellent motor-cars may be obtained in Paris (No. 19 -Arc de Triomphe) and the roads from the gay capital to the Swiss uplands -will be found most excellent. Luncheon may be secured at convenient -cabarets along the way, and by speaking to the chauffeur stops may be -made from time to time to allow you to make photographs of choice bits -in the landscape. Arriving in Switzerland, you should retire early in -order to be up for the sunrise, which, in those latitudes is much -earlier than in America on account of the difference in time. - -While in Switzerland you should not fail to visit the tomb of William -Tell, who is dead at present. Here a short stop may be made for -luncheon, photographs, etc. In this little side trip you will have -delightful weather, according to recent unconfirmed rumors from Chefoo. - -Having toured Switzerland, it would be pleasant to have a yacht meet you -some place nearby and make the homeward journey in this way rather than -by the Atlantic liners. There are so many vulgar tourists on the regular -steamships during the summer. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOME HAPPY LITTLE VACATION SUGGESTIONS FOR OUR READERS - -TO THOSE WHO ARE IN DOUBT AS TO WHERE THEY SHALL GO FOR THEIR HOLIDAY, -WE RESPECTFULLY SUBMIT THESE HAPPY HINTS - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE PACE THAT KILLS - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SEEING EUROPE FROM TWO POINTS OF VIEW - - -[Illustration: - - UNCLE GID—“_Well, by Jiminy, I reckon the Judge and the Missus are - having a fine time out there in Europe. I see an item in this week’s - _ ‘Transcript’ _that says they are bein’ showered with attentions by - them Frenchies and are right in the swim, by Jiminy. I knowed the - Judge’d cut a swath over there. You can bet ye you can’t lose the - Judge, by Jiminy._” -] - - -[Illustration: - - _The Judge and his wife in Europe._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - A RECENT DISPATCH SAYS PUBLISHERS ARE EAGERLY LOOKING FOR THE GREAT - AMERICAN NOVEL - -[Illustration: - - THE DISPATCH IS SAID TO HAVE EXCITED MUCH INTEREST IN INDIANA -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MATCHES ARE ALSO IN GERMANY MADE - - -[Illustration: - - THE WEDDING OF CROWN PRINCE FREDERICK AND DUCHESS CECILIA -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - HOW A FEW YEARS IN WASHINGTON MADE THE OLD HOME TOWN SEEM DULL TO THE - RETURNED CONGRESSMAN - -[Illustration: - - WHEN THE NEW CONGRESSMAN AND HIS WIFE FIRST LEFT FOR WASHINGTON, THE - HOME TOWN SEEMED QUITE - A BUSTLING METROPOLIS -] - - -[Illustration: - - BUT AFTER SEVERAL YEARS OF DISTINGUISHED SERVICE AMONG THE HIGH HATS - AND STATELY BUILDINGS OF - THE NATION’S CAPITAL— -] - - -[Illustration: - - THE CONGRESSMAN AND HIS WIFE RETURNED AND FOUND THAT THE TOWN HAD - SHRUNKEN, AND EVEN - SATURDAY AFTERNOON SEEMED DULL AND LISTLESS -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOCIAL LIFE IN WASHINGTON, D.C. - - -[Illustration: - - A STUDY OF OFFICIAL SOCIETY, WHERE EACH MEMBER FIGHTS FOR THE - PRIVILEGES OF HIS RANK -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - FIRST INSTALMENT - -IT is with pleasure that ye Editor chronicles the announcement that a -goodly quota of Bird Center society leaders purpose taking a European -tour ere long. Among those who will constitute the pilgrimage are Mrs. -Riley Withersby, our beloved leader of local society, Reverend Walpole -and wife and children under nine years of age, Captain Roscoe Fry and -wife, Mr. J. Milton Brown and wife (née Lucile Ramona Fry, formerly -daughter of Captain Fry), and little J. Milton Brown, Jr. Also Mr. -Smiley Greene, the popular undertaker, and wife and children, Mr. Riley -Peters and Miss Myrtle Prute, of Muncie, Indiana, the Misses Flossye and -Mae Niebling, Mr. Ernest Pratt, Mr. Elmer Pratt, Mr. Wilbur Fry, and Mr. -Orville Peters. Quite a goodly party, say you not? - -It is safe to say without exaggeration that the local social circles are -agog with pleasant anticipation. At first it was understood that only -Mrs. Withersby contemplated going abroad, and for that reason she gave a -small function last evening to announce the fact, but others volunteered -to accompany her and the party grew apace quite rapidly. - -Late in the evening, just before refreshments were served, Mr. Gus -Figgey of Chicago arrived and joined the group. - -“I just came in on the hundred-hour limited from Decatur,” he announced -buoyantly, “and thought I’d drift up and join the merrymakers. What’s -going on?” - -Mrs. Withersby explained that some of the party were talking over a trip -to Europe. - -“Count me in,” said Mr. Figgey. “I haven’t had a vacation for three -years and I’m going to have one this year if the country goes plumb to -smash. What’s the route?” - -“We have planned to go to Scotland and the English Lakes,” said Mrs. -Withersby pleasantly. - -“I can figure out a better trip than that,” said Mr. Figgey. “First -we’ll go to London and show those Britishers a touch of high life, then -skip over to Paris, thence to Venice, and circle around to Rome. Them’s -the four great show places of Europe, and no tour is complete without -’em.” - -“But, Mr. Figgey—” - -“Now, I’ll tell what we’ll do,” said the genial Mr. Figgey. “I’ll get -some inside rates from a friend of mine in the importing business, and -I’ll guarantee that when we get through, Europe will feel that she’s -been seen good and proper.” - -“Have you ever been abroad, Mr. Figgey?” inquired Mrs. J. Milton Brown. - -“No, but I’ve traveled all over this country, making all the important -towns, and what I don’t know about traveling could be put in an -expurgated French novel.” - -“I’d like to stop at Niagara Falls, Mr. Figgey,” said Elmer Pratt. - -“Sure, the train slows down there and we can see the Falls just as well -as if you spent an hour.” - -“And won’t it be beautiful in Venice,” said Miss Myrtle Prute. “I’ve -always been crazy to see Venice by moonlight.” - -“We’ll see it by moonlight, candlelight and daylight, Miss Prute. -Orville and Wilbur can take their mandolins and we’ll have a tune on the -dancing waters. Hot stuff, eh?” said Mr. Figgey, slapping Reverend -Walpole on the back. - -The party adjourned at a late hour, Mr. Figgey promising to arrange all -the details, etc. Various members of the party will tell their -experiences exclusively in the Bird Center _Argosy_. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT HOME - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - SECOND INSTALMENT - - NIAGARA FALLS, JULY - - (Special Correspondence of the Bird Center _Argosy_.) - -MIDST gay acclaim did the Bird Center personally conducted tour to -Europe steam out of Bird Center yesterday morn. The bells cried “Off to -Europe,” and the rails clicked the same news as the great steam steed -started on the long journey to Niagara Falls. Throngs of people got on -and off at every station, and many admiring glances were cast at the -Bird Center tourists who, massed together, made quite a noticeable -effect. Mr. Gus Figgey, who says he is the chaperon of the party, has -made the welkin ring with laughter and gaiety. At the first stop he -purchased oranges for the crowd, and later in the day entertained them -with personal anecdotes of travel. At the second stop Mr. Figgey -addressed the town from the rear platform, and received a rousing round -of cheers. Last evening he entertained ye Editor at supper in the -dining-car. It has been a beautiful trip. - -Niagara Falls was reached without further mishap. These Falls are -situated on the Niagara River, between the Canadian side and the United -States. They are a hundred and sixty-two feet in height and are -considered by competent critics to be one of America’s most famous -natural beauties. The train stopped twenty minutes and Mr. Figgey had -several fast hacks convey the party to the various points of interest. -By way of getting an expression of opinion from the various members of -the party, the Editor secured short statements for the readers of the -_Argosy_. - -“Great sight,” said Mr. Figgey. “Those Falls have power enough to run -all the factories in the U. S. A.” - -“A notable sight,” said Mrs. Riley Withersby. - -“More impressive than Dante’s ‘Inferno,’” said Mrs. J. Milton Brown. - -“A masterpiece of Nature,” said Reverend Walpole. - -“Unequalled in history,” said Wilbur Fry. - -“Fine, but wait till you see Saint Peter’s in Rome,” said Mr. Ernest -Pratt, who was in Europe several years ago. - -“Too bad I can’t get a good photo of it. The Falls would make a -beautiful moving picture,” said Mr. J. Milton Brown. - -“Truly a sublime spectacle,” said Mr. Smiley Greene, the popular -undertaker. - -“Gosh!” said Elmer Pratt. - -It was with mingled feelings of sadness that ye Editor saw the gay party -steam eastward, as he was obliged for business reasons to return to Bird -Center. Other communications from members of the party will be printed -from time to time. - - J. OSCAR FISHER. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT NIAGARA - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - THIRD INSTALMENT - -THE Editor of the Bird Center _Argosy_ presents the following letter -from Mrs. J. Milton Brown, who is en route abroad in the personally -conducted Bird Center tour. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. - - - By Lucile Ramona Fry-Brown. - - AT SEA, AUGUST - -“She moves, she throbs, she seems to feel the thrill of life upon her -keel.” At last the great Leviathan of the Deep has left the dock amid -waving ‘kerchiefs and loud huzzas. Like great mountain ranges, rising -tier upon tier, the vast buildings of Gotham looked down upon the -gallant ship as she turns her course toward the vast and trackless deep. -Beautiful somber tints stretch from horizon upward, blending into the -deep blue of Heaven’s own firmament. Dainty white caps assail the -towering walls of steel that are to be our home for so many days. -Bartholdi’s peerless statue, with hand uplifted, seems to cast its -benedictions on us as we start for those distant shores to the eastward, -and Nature smiles fondly upon us as America’s shores sink lower and -lower, back in the direction of dear Bird Center. What joy it is to -breathe this ocean air, unsullied by smoke, undefiled by foreign matter. -Eyes are flashing with renewed invigoration, hearts are light as the -giant of the sea swings into the easy roll of the long Atlantic billows. -Spindrift whips by as a great wave, more saucy than its sisters, assails -the reeling bow. The splendid craft trembles but goes onward, ever -onward, its propellers singing their endless song of struggle. Mr. -Figgey, immaculate and white-flanneled, is quite the dressiest passenger -on board, and is constantly the cynosure of all eyes. See how he swings -along the deck, perfect sailor that he is. Now the rollers batter more -furiously, as Mr. Figgey approaches, cigar in mouth, to tell us to get -busy and have a good time. The ship rolls and wallows—” - - * * * * * - -EDITOR’S NOTE— - -We regret that only part of this story was mailed to the _Argosy_ in -Captain Fry’s handwriting. Evidently the remaining leaves miscarried in -the mails. Better luck next time. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, - Editor Bird Center _Argosy_. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT SEA - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - FOURTH INSTALMENT - -THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center -_Argosy_ the following travel-paper from Mr. Gus Figgey, the genial -Chicago traveling man who is being accompanied by social leaders of this -City in their tour abroad. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. - - - LONDON, JULY —, 1842 - -I have dated this back to fit the occasion. Of all the slow burgs, this -is the slowest. Had to wait three minutes for an elevator at the hotel -and ten minutes longer to reach the sixth floor. I told the Britisher at -the desk what the trouble with London was, but he didn’t believe me. -Merely raised his eye-brows, but I’ll raise something else if things -don’t move along a little faster here before long. Took the bunch out -for a ride in a herdic to-day. Saw the Strand, not to be mentioned in -the same year with State Street in old Chicag. Elmer Pratt said he -reckoned there must be a show in town, judging by the crowd in the -streets. Took ’em to see the Alhambra, but Reverend Walpole said it -wasn’t a bit like what he thought the Alhambra was like, judging from -something he read by Henry Irving. Have had a hard time keeping the -folks _en masse_, as the Frenchies say. Mrs. J. Milton wanted to go to a -picture gallery to see the Turners, but I told her I’d take her around -to the Tivoli and show her some turns that were turns. Reverend Walpole -wanted to go to the Westminster Abbey and Saint Paul’s, but from what I -heard a man on the steamer say, they are old buildings, out of date and -furnished with tombstones. When I want any reading, you’ll have to pass -me something livelier than epitaphs. Elmer Pratt wanted to see London -Bridge, he heard it was falling down. If there was a Lake Front here, -Elmer would be down there looking at the explosion. I took the party -down to see Trafalgar’s monument, and pointed it out to them. Have lost -Riley Peters and Myrtle Prute, but I suppose they’ll turn up at supper -time. We’ve been here two days, and have done the town thoroughly. Leave -to-morrow for gay Paris. Can’t hold Smiley Greene. Orville Peters and -Wilbur Fry are anxious to get to Venus, where they can play their -mandolins on the raging canal. Ernest Pratt is blasé on the trip, having -been over here before. Says Europe is an old story to him. Get my name -spelled right, Oscar. Be sure to get in the “e.” - - GUS FIGGEY. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT LONDON - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - FIFTH INSTALMENT - -THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center -_Argosy_ the following travel-paper from Mr. Smiley Greene, our popular -undertaker, who is doing Europe with a party of travelers from this -city. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. - - - PARIS, AUGUST. - -In Paris, France, at last! France, the gay, the light-hearted; France, -the country with a history! Every wall has its tale of war and -revolution and death. Placards reading “Defense d’Afficher” mark where -notable defenses, back in some dark days of the past, have been made by -gallant sons of Gaul. Captain Fry says Gaul is divided into three parts, -not counting Gus Figgey. Gus says some one ought to consolidate them -into a union. We have been having considerable trouble with the -language, as they all speak the foreign tongue here, so that even by -shouting at the top of your lungs, you can’t make them understand. -Lucile Ramona Brown tried her French on them, but they didn’t even -understand that. She seems to get her accents on the wrong words. - -Paris never was more beautiful, even although we understand that most of -the society people have gone away for the summer. You can’t help pitying -these Europeans, for they can’t go abroad for the summer, being already -there. Went out to visit the Morgue to-day. Busiest place of its kind -I’ve ever seen. Visited Napoleon’s tomb this afternoon, and consider it -a most imposing place. Mr. Figgey tells us that the departed is a -relative of the new United States Secretary of the Navy, a fact which -has aroused great interest in our midst. Yesterday we drove out to -witness the Arch of Triumph, which was greatly enjoyed by all save -Ernest Pratt, to whom Europe is an old story, he having been here -before. To-morrow we go out to view Père la Chaise, the famous cemetery -of Paris. It is said that many well-known Frenchmen and French women -sleep their last sleep out there, so we have cautioned Gus Figgey to put -on the soft pedal for a short spell. Ernest Pratt says Abelard and -Hèloise lie there, but whether they are two people or a firm I cannot -state. Visited the Louvre yesterday and saw the Venus of Milo, which -greatly shocked Elmer Pratt. Gus Figgey says her arms were guillotined -during the French Revolution, but be it as it may, she certainly is shy -on arms. Orville Peters and Wilbur Fry are eager to get to Venice to -while away the hours with dulcet strains from their mandolins, but -Ernest Pratt says, “Wait till we see Saint Peter’s.” To-morrow we view -the Catacombs and the Cemetery of Montmartre. - -Everybody is well and happy. More anon. - - SMILEY GREENE. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT PARIS - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - SIXTH INSTALMENT - -THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center -_Argosy_ the following travel-paper from Mrs. J. Milton Brown, the wife -of J. Milton Brown, the well-known artist of the Bird Center Tintype -Studios. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. - - - VENICE THE ENCHANTING, AUG. — - -At last we are in the well-known city of Venice, Italy, about which our -fancies have from time immemorial woven the most bewitching dreams. It -is hard to realize that we are really here. We instantly exclaim, “Can -it really be true that we are in Venice, and not merely dreaming.” Mr. -Figgey—he’s so funny—says that we’ll not think we’re dreaming when we -get our hotel bill. Mr. Figgey is so material in his attitude of -thought, but he has been a perfect dear in arranging things. He doesn’t -let us rest a moment, and even now, when we have been here only two -days, he seems to know all the gondoliers and everybody in town knows -him. He calls all the gondoliers “Louey,” and they begin to grin broadly -whenever he comes in sight. We had such a good joke on Elmer Pratt -to-day. We came across a little church near the hotel and Elmer went -into raptures over it. It’s whole façade was one bewildering nightmare -of scroll work and curly cues, like frosting on a wedding cake. Elmer -said that he considered it the most beautiful thing he had seen in -Europe, and at once looked it up in our Baedeker. The description says -that it is the most atrociously ugly building in Europe, and since then -Elmer has not admired anything until he has looked in the guide book to -see whether it is beautiful. - -Last night we engaged some gondolas and did the grand canal. The moon -was divine, and the whole city was throbbing with music and sentiment. -Mr. Figgey directed the excursion and after a while took charge of the -oar or paddle (I don’t know what the real name is) and gave the -gondolier some lessons in the work. Smiley Greene sang some rollicking -hymns, and then we all clamored for Orville Peters and Wilbur Fry to -play on their mandolins. They had carried their instruments all the way -from Bird Center and had counted the seconds to the present moment. But -scarcely had they begun to play before some men came and said it was not -permitted for outsiders to play on the canals. Only those belonging to -the Gondoliers’ Union could play. Orville and Wilbur were -broken-hearted. We had been out for some time before we discovered that -Riley Peters and Myrtle Prute were missing, but, Mr. Figgey soon located -them in a gondola by themselves. Riley seems to be in earnest this time, -but now could any one help being in earnest, and in love, in Venice. -Even all of us become a little bit soft here—even us old married people. -Flossye Niebling has been spending all her time writing letters home. -The stationery at the hotels is so attractive and she doesn’t want to -miss a chance to use it. - -From here we go to Rome. We are all well and beautifully tanned. - - LUCILE RAMONA BROWN. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT VENICE - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER ABROAD - - SEVENTH INSTALMENT - -THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center -_Argosy_ the following travel-paper from Mr. Gus Figgey, the genial -Chicago traveling gentleman, who is traveling in Europe with society -leaders from Bird Center. - - J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. - - - ROME, AUG. — - -This burg isn’t half bad. In some of the new parts of town you’d think -you were in Chicago. They have buildings here eight and ten stories -high, and the old fogy part of the city is fast disappearing. A good -hustling Commissioner of Public Works could soon make Rome look as -up-to-date as any of our American cities. Rome is only about a third as -big as Chicago, although it was started long before. To-day we did two -miles of picture galleries and saw paintings which, if put together, -would make one painting a mile square. I priced some of them but didn’t -buy. Reverend Walpole has been right in his element here and has visited -about ninety-seven churches. Smiley Greene has spent most of his time in -the Catacombs and J. Milton Brown and Lucile have reveled in art. The -party is all split up. They refused to go out to the Race Track with me, -and I have had a hard time entertaining them. Yesterday we all went in a -bunch to see St. Peter’s. Say, there’s a building for you. Ernest Pratt -says it’s the greatest building in the world, and he’s been in Europe -before. I guess he saw it when it was new; for now it is showing signs -of age. When I got the crowd in front of the church, I had ’em stand all -in a row while I went on in front to give ’em an idea of how big the -building really is. You can’t realize its size until you compare it with -a man standing at the door. They were much surprised to see how small I -looked. - -To-morrow we sail from Naples for New York, and before many days you -will see us drifting into Bird Center, all sound and well. Riley Peters -and Myrtle Prute are engaged. Venice and the moon did it. Riley’s hot -stuff, all right. - - MR. GUS FIGGEY. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - BIRD CENTER AT ROME - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NEW YORK AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - KENTUCKY AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - INDIANA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MICHIGAN AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ILLINOIS AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - WISCONSIN AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - COLORADO AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - UTAH AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - TEXAS AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - OHIO AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MISSISSIPPI AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NEW JERSEY AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - KANSAS AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - SOUTH DAKOTA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - CALIFORNIA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - ALASKA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - MASSACHUSETTS AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - IOWA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NEVADA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - PENNSYLVANIA AT THE ST. LOUIS FAIR - - -[Illustration] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - I—CAN GOV. YATES GET BACK IN TIME TO HEAD OFF THE DENEEN BOOM? - -BEING THE ADVENTURES OF OUR GOVERNOR, WHO, WHILE TRAVELING IN FOREIGN -LANDS HEARD OF THE REMARKABLE GROWTH OF DENEEN’S BOOM FOR GOVERNOR. HE -RESOLVED AT ONCE TO FLY TO THE RESCUE, AND, WITH HIS GALLANT STAFF OF -COLONELS, HE BOLDLY SET FORTH ON THE LONG AND PERILOUS RIDE - -[Illustration: - - _In the midst of pleasant sightseeing in Europe a cablegram arrives._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _It contains the alarming news of the growth of the Deneen boom for - governor._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Whereupon the governor and his gallant staff of colonels begin a - thrilling ride, compared to which the ride of General Sheridan - resembled a franc and a half._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _At frequent intervals the governor cheered his escort onward by words - of hope and encouragement._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - II—GOV. YATES’ WILD DASH FROM EUROPE TO HEAD OFF THE DEENEN BOOM - -[Illustration: - - _For many days the way was easy, and no mishaps attended them until - they arrived at the foothills of a vast mountain range. An - unfortunate mishap then occurred. One of the colonels was overcome - and had to be borne along on the back of his steed thereby greatly - lessening the speed of the gallant little band. Despite this - untoward accident, the governor led bravely onward, ever crying out: - “Courage, my comrades! Courage! We shall soon be there!”_ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Thus inspired they began the ascent. A vast solitude surrounded them! - No sign of life met their eye, save where some distant mountain goat - disported himself on the dizzy peaks, or where some adventurous - eagle clung high in the Alpine crags. The hardships of traveling now - became extreme, provisions gave out and for many weeks the little - cavalcade were obliged to subsist upon eagles and mountain goats, - which, owing to the peculiar formation of the country were difficult - to catch, and more difficult to shoot, as the colonels were - unaccustomed to the use of firearms. When they reached an altitude - of 19,000 feet, another colonel was overcome and had to be carried - along with his stricken comrade, for the governor resolved not to - abandon his devoted follower in the mountain fastness as a prey to - the savage goats._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Upon the nineteenth day of the ascent the last colonel gave out, and - the governor carefully placed him upon the horse parallel with the - two other exhausted colonels. A few days after this fresh misfortune - the little band reached the summit, 42,000 feet above the sea level. - A magnificent view of the surrounding continent was obtained, and - largely repaid for the hardships of the ascent. Behind lay the peaks - that they had crossed, many of them rising to a height of 30,000 - feet or more. Down at their feet lay the broad, convex bosom of the - Atlantic Ocean. A happy thought struck the governor. “I remind - myself of Balboa discovering the Pacific,” he said with a smile, but - if his followers heard this merry quip they gave no heed. Then the - governor’s face became grave as another thought struck him. “There - is no disguising the fact that I have a long swim ahead of me,” he - said resolutely._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - III—GOV. YATES’ WILD DASH FROM EUROPE TO HEAD OFF THE DENEEN BOOM - -[Illustration: - - _The governor rested a moment after reaching the summit of the vast - mountain peak, and then, drawing a deep breath he put spurs to his - horse and shot down the steep declivity, pursued by the savage - mountain goats. The three colonels were still in an exhausted state, - and their weight greatly retarded the speed of the gallant steed, - yet, strange as it may seem, the descent was made in an incredibly - short time. In ten minutes the little cavalcade rode safely out on - the shelving beach, and the governor urged his horse boldly into the - Atlantic Ocean. “Now, for a long swim,” said he._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _Fortunately, the weather was fine. The sun shone warmly and the sea - was calm. Under these favoring conditions it was only a few days - until the headlands of the Azores were sighted off the port beam. - Hunger and fatigue racked the governor, but he did not stop. He - shouted “Courage, my noble steed. The way is long, but we shall soon - be there.” One of the colonels was revived by the cool water, and - from his position amidships passed the days pleasantly in watching - the wonderful dwellers of the deep as they darted hither and thither - alongside. On the thirty-fourth day the governor sighted a low group - of islands off to the s’uth’ard. He sniffed a moment. “The - Bermudas,” he said. And he was right. They were the Bermudas where - the onions come from. From this point he shaped his course nor by - nor west, intending to land on American shores about four miles west - of Oyster Bay. But he was thrown out of his course by adverse - currents and strong head winds, and had to make his landing six - miles east of Oyster Bay. Still he was not discouraged._ -] - - -[Illustration: - - _“Home again!” shouted the governor in joyous exultation, and again - putting spurs to his gallant steed he galloped across the - Alleghanies, cleared the Ohio at a bound and soon saw the towering - dome of his beloved state-house in the distance. Large throngs of - office-holders heralded his coming with glad shouts. Ten minutes - later he was deep in a consultation regarding his chances of heading - off the Deneen boom._ -] - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - THE DEATH OF POPE LEO - -[Illustration: - - Leo XIII - Born 1810 Died 1903 -] - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - ● Transcriber’s Notes: - ○ Missing or obscured punctuation was silently corrected. - ○ Typographical errors were silently corrected. - ○ Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation were made consistent only - when a predominant form was found in this book. - ○ Text that was in italics is enclosed by underscores (_italics_). - - - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Mysterious Stranger, by John T. 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