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diff --git a/old/60046-0.txt b/old/60046-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 986442e..0000000 --- a/old/60046-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1515 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tatlings, by Sydney Tremayne - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: Tatlings - -Author: Sydney Tremayne - -Contributor: Edward Huskinson - -Illustrator: Anne Harriet Fish - -Release Date: August 3, 2019 [EBook #60046] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TATLINGS *** - - - - -Produced by ellinora and the Online Distributed Proofreading -Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from -images generously made available by The Internet -Archive/American Libraries.) - - - - - - - Transcriber Notes - - Obvious typos corrected. - Sydney Tremayne was the pseudonym of Sybil Taylor Cookson, journalist - and writer, according to Wikipedia. - Italics are represented by underscores surrounding the _italic text_. - Descriptions of illustrations without captions added. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TATLINGS - by Sydney Tremayne - The Drawings - by Fish - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -[Illustration: frontispiece: woman in fancy dress] - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TATLINGS - - Epigrams - by Sydney Tremayne - The Drawings - by Fish - - NEW YORK - E. P. Dutton and Company - 1922 - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - INTRODUCTION - - -HEREIN THE FORTUNATE READERS WILL FIND THE HAPPY CONJUNCTION of two very -brilliant young people, whose literary and artistic talents fit like the -proverbial glove, or the musical and lyrical alliance of those -immortals, Gilbert and Sullivan. - -Never were epigrams more worthily illustrated, or more worthy of -illustration. The _joie de vivre_, the humour and the human observation -which run through this little volume, will I am sure make a great appeal -to the public possessing or admiring those qualities. - -I am proud to think that I was responsible for the journalistic débuts -of both authors, whose work enriched the pages of _The Tatler_ for some -years, and that I have been honoured in being asked to write an -introduction to their first collective effort. - - E. HUSKINSON - Editor of _The Tatler_ - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - ILLUSTRATIONS - - - _Frontispiece_ - - _Most women if they had to choose would page 29 - ask for a clear complexion in preference - to a clear conscience_ - - _Men do not try to escape temptations; pages 46-7 - their only fear is that some temptation - should escape them_ - - _You can never forget a sin you have page 63 - confessed_ - - _Most women live for the present, and page 71 - the handsomer the present the better - they live_ - - _Men always say that they loathe being page 74 - flattered, but don’t take any notice—no - man has ever known that he was - flattered_ - - _Letters that should never have been page 78 - written and ought immediately to be - destroyed are the only ones worth - keeping_ - - _The husband who counts is the one who page 83 - has something to count_ - - _When you see an old man alone you are page 92 - looking at something very sad. When you - see an old man with a young woman you - are looking at something rich_ - - _What a woman wears reveals more than page 99 - she says_ - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TATLINGS - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - TATLINGS - - -THE LOOKING-GLASS reveals us as we are to ourselves; the Wine-glass -reveals us as we are to others. - -IF A MAN puts a woman on a pedestal someone else will help her down. - -NO MAN gets what he wants, though some may get what they have wanted. - -THE REASON that a love affair so seldom ends happily is that one of the -lovers is generally unwilling for it to end at all. - -NO ONE agrees with other people’s opinions, they merely agree with their -own opinions expressed by somebody else. - -IT IS a poor doctor who cannot prescribe an expensive cure for a rich -patient. - -A WOMAN alone is not necessarily a temptation, if she were a temptation -she would probably not be alone. - -SOME people succeed in preserving a youthful appearance, but they show -their age in their opinions. - -IF YOU GIVE a woman an opportunity, she will take everything else that -she wants. - -YOU ARE much nearer success when you are deplored than when you are -ignored. - -SO MANY young women have glibly promised their lovers that they would -‘never change’ and have been unrecognisable ten years later. - -TO A WOMAN women are a sex and men an individual. - -A WOMAN likes to know what the man she loves was like when he was a -little boy; but a man would rather know what the woman he loves will be -like when she is an old woman. - -IT IS PROBABLE that if a woman cannot see the point of her husband’s -jokes she will see very little indeed of him. - -A WOMAN may have a small mouth and yet be able to open it very wide. - -A GIRL WHO spends her youth learning philosophy will almost certainly -need it when her youth is spent. - -ONE MAN’S love is often only the bait with which another man is caught. - -SOME PEOPLE contrive to make their ‘silent suffering’ simply deafening. - -ONE CAN forgive a person lying about one and possibly disprove them, but -it is unforgiveable if they tell the truth; that is taking a mean -advantage. - -WOMEN have been the same through all the ages: the only difference -between a girl and her mother is their feeling for her father. - -IT IS difficult for a man to understand that a woman who would go -through hell for love of him is capable of leaving him because he clears -his throat or uses a toothpick. - -NOTHING unites people like a common sorrow, except, perhaps, a vulgar -joke. - -IF A PRETTY back view won’t let you catch it up it has probably got a -horrible face. - -AS SOON as a woman has put a man in her power she puts him out of her -heart. - -THE ONLY blows Fate seems to deal some people are slaps on the back. - -A WOMAN’S clothes should be like an epigram, an adequate expression of -an idea without a superfluous—syllable. - -SOME MEN borrow a fiver and behave for ever after as if the only thing -they owed you was a grudge. - -A WOMAN IS not really adequately clothed because she is draped in -mystery. - -IT IS inexplicable, but undeniable, that a man often prefers the woman -he has to make excuses for to the woman he has to make excuses to. - -WHAT a woman costs and what she is worth are two entirely different -things. - -AMBITIONS vary: Men may want to do well, women may want to look well, -but the old only want to sleep well. - -A WOMAN cares most for a man when their love affair is over, a man cares -most for a woman before their love affair has begun. - -EVERYONE likes to be run after, but the difference between men and women -is that men do not want to be caught and women do. - -A WOMAN who can bear to hear her husband praise another woman is either -different to other wives or indifferent to her husband. - -A MAN’S ‘for ever’ is just about as long as a woman’s ‘five minutes.’ - -SOME PEOPLE drain the cup of life, and others stick to a medicine glass. - -IT TAKES a clever man to write a good love letter, but only a fool would -do it. - -ODDLY enough the impression made by the possession of several different -names is not nearly so favourable as the impression made by the -possession of several different addresses. - -THE MEANS to an end may put an end to one’s means. - -HE WHO CAN does, he who can’t is shocked. - -A ROMANCE is wonderful while it lasts, but if it lasts it ceases to be a -romance. - -TO BE successful in love one must know how to begin and when to stop. - -MANY A MAN has ended by running away with a woman because he had not the -sense to begin by running away from her. - -MANY AN impecunious stylist has found that a girl is more easily won by -an ordinary bank-note than an extraordinary love note. - -AN INFALLIBLE way of acquiring a host of friends is to be a host -yourself. - -THERE ARE three stages in a man’s infatuation for a woman: making his -way, having his way, and going his way. - -IT IS THE MAN who has no right who generally comforts the woman who has -wrongs. - -WOMEN who are the easiest to win are always the most difficult to lose. - -IT IS perfectly saintly to love some women; and that presumably is -sacred love. It is perfectly natural to adore others; and that probably -is profane love. - -MANY A WOMAN’S undoing is due to her maid. - -WHEN A MAN is lost to one woman it is generally because he has been -found by another. - -A MAN MAY BE legally attached to one woman and yet sincerely attached to -another. - -TO INDULGE in independent ways one really needs to have independent -means. - -IT IS no use collecting notable acquaintances unless you can be sure -that they will recollect you. - -BY ALL MEANS tell a woman you love her, but don’t tell her anything -else. - -THAT A MAN and woman are always together proves nothing—but it is -probably true. - -IF A WOMAN goes too far with a man, she comes back alone. - -A PRETTY woman in a becoming gown is a temptation—men love temptations. - -IF YOU CANNOT be funny without being shocking, it is better to be -shocking. - -OF COURSE it is quite dreadful to lead another into mischief, but it is -almost impossible to enjoy oneself alone. - -NOTHING is more infuriating than to be accused of doing something which -one has taken every precaution to keep secret. - -THE WOMEN who have nothing to show are the ones who have nothing to -hide. - -IF ONE lives long enough one is bound to become respectable and -virtuous—hallowed by time. - -WOMEN are always asking questions and men are always inventing answers— -and women are none the wiser. - -GOODNESS is only a relative term, and one that is always on the tongue -of relatives. - -A WOMAN’S accounts of how she spent ‘the house money’ are only equalled -in inventive genius by a man’s accounts of how he spent his time. - -THERE ARE two sorts of lovers—those who forget and those who are -forgotten. - -ONE SOON gets tired of saying a thing over and over again if nobody -contradicts, just as one soon gets tired of doing a thing over again if -no one says one mayn’t. - -LOVE IS NICE when it is new, but it wears badly and is impossible to -renovate. - -EVEN THE MOST upright man may be tempted by a recumbent woman. - -A WOMAN may have no reticence about her ankle or even her knee if it is -pretty, but she will never show her hand. - -EVERYONE must take chances and if they turn out right they are renamed -opportunities. - -A MAN will forgive a woman doing everything at his expense except making -a joke. - -SOME MEN consider marriage an unnecessary expense, and some men simply -won’t consider it at all. - -MANY a woman has waited patiently for years until the man could afford -to marry her, and then he won’t wait patiently for five minutes while -she puts her hat on. - -FLIRTATION and office work are the oil and water which the devil -sometimes tempts a man to attempt to mix. - -PEOPLE who allow their character to be diluted by other people’s -opinions are naturally weak. - -IT IS ONLY a very great man who, in a higher position, does not look -small to the man down below. - -IT’S A MISTAKE to take a man into your confidence. If you do you will -probably never trust him again and he will certainly never trust you -again. - -BY ALL MEANS express an opinion but not by post. - -IF A WOMAN’S appearance is bad her re-appearance is worse. - -IF A WOMAN HAS anything worth telling she tells it; if a woman has -anything worth showing she shows it. - -IT IS no good laying down the law if you can’t take up an argument. - -A WOMAN’S MIRROR reflects her whole world. - -IT’S A splendid plan to make a man run after you, but remember that he -won’t go on running indefinitely merely out of curiosity or hope. The -time will come when he will sit down to rest—with someone else. - -A WOMAN who knows just when and how to make a scene is clever, but the -woman who knows just when and how not to make a scene is wise. - -A WOMAN always puts on silk stockings before she takes the final step. - -ALL BEAUTIFUL things are created for and destroyed by women. - -IF A HUSBAND leaves his wife alone ten to one someone else won’t. - -YOU CAN’T be even acquainted with love without becoming intimate. - -THERE never was a woman so fast that man could not keep pace with her. - -NO MATTER how orderly she is by nature it is a mistake for a woman to be -always putting her husband in his place. - -IF A MAN is free to do what he likes he does it; and if he is not free— -he does it just the same. - -THE potentialities of a strong silent man are nothing to the -potentialities of a weak talkative woman. - -YOU will probably be very nearly right if you judge men by their hand -shakes and women by their kisses. - -ALCOHOL is not a good preservative of grey matter. - -SOCIETY says, if you have come into money you can come in anywhere. - -BECAUSE she is up-to-date you must not count on a woman being up to -time. - -‘PLATONIC friendship’ is the story a woman puts up to a man before, and -to the world afterwards. - -MARRIAGE is a woman’s entry into and a man’s exit from life—that is, -officially. - -IT IS a funny thing that a man always has to tell a woman that he loves -her while everyone else knows it without being told. - -SO MANY more people are capable of being loved than are capable of -loving. - -LOVE affairs are all alike, it is only the lovers who are different. - -HAVING what you want is not nearly so interesting as getting what you -want. - -THERE are two sorts of men, those who are constant in love and those who -are constantly in love—and perhaps the first don’t exist. - -IF YOU don’t want tummy-ache don’t eat unripe fruit; and if you don’t -want heartache don’t marry a young man. - -THERE is only one temptation in the world that it is worth while -resisting and that is—spring onions. - -MONEY talks, and the larger the means the clearer the meaning. - -MOST WOMEN if they had to choose would ask for a clear complexion in -preference to a clear conscience. - -[Illustration: seated woman being offered jars with angel hovering -above] - -ONE may get what one deserves but seldom what one is promised. - -THE WOMAN who has never deceived her husband must have an -extraordinarily acute husband. - -THE only time a thing is really worth doing is for the first time and -for the last time. - -THE education system must be all wrong. What sort of use is Latin to a -young man on his first trip to Paris? You can’t get much for’arder with -a living woman by being familiar with a dead tongue. - -IF A WOMAN is young and pretty and fascinating, the world of men will -forgive her anything—and see to it that there is everything to forgive. - -EVERY woman should be an _édition de luxe_ of herself. - -THE one woman in the world who could make a man of a fool, a home of a -house, and a romance of a marriage probably wears glasses and jaeger and -so never gets a chance. - -IT IS MORE or less true that an attractive woman has no friends. The men -are more and the women less. - -WHAT a lovely world it would be if one could recover the money and the -love and the time one has misspent. - -MEN will pretend to understand things that they don’t and women will -pretend not to understand things that they do. - -IF MEN could read women’s thoughts publishers would die of starvation. - -A MAN keeps a woman’s love by making promises he can’t keep; a woman -keeps a man’s love by refusing to make promises she can keep. - -THEY say that one way to continue to enjoy dinners for two after -marriage is to have breakfast for one. - -MANY women who look ripe are rotten at core. - -ONE is forgotten even sooner when one is alive than when one is dead. - -A MAN does not ask a woman if she loves him until he is almost sure that -she does so, and a woman does not ask a man if he loves her until she is -almost sure that he does so no longer. - -WOMEN are generally supplied with the necessary food of life but they -help themselves to salt. - -IF ONLY the women we love were as true as the things they teach us about -women! - -A PRETTY woman alone is invariably considered a mystery; a plain woman -alone is a perfectly natural phenomenon. - -MANY a woman who looks light would be a terrible burden. - -THE people who are quite unforgiving are those to whom there is never -anything to forgive. - -THE things one does because one wants to do them are generally wrong -from somebody’s point of view. It is therefore better to do them out of -view of everybody. - -IT IS no good having strong desires if you have a weak will. - -MANY a man makes a profession of being entertaining in order to be -entertained. - -ODDLY enough the woman who looks most self-possessed generally belongs -to some man. - -IF YOU don’t tell a woman she will find out; and if you do tell a woman -you’re a fool. - -THE man who cannot make a mistake never tried. - -A WOMAN likes the things her lover likes, but loathes the things he -loves. - -A WOMAN may weigh thirteen stone and still love lightly. - -EVERYTHING depends upon position—even in the matter of adipose tissue. - -IT DOES not matter that a kiss is ill-timed if it is well placed. - -FLIRTATION is the froth on top of the wine of love. - -MOST women’s ideas are better than their morals. - -SOME women’s love stories are not even founded on fact. - -I WONDER who suggested an apron string as the one to which a woman ties -a man? In reality she would probably use a pink ribbon. - -LIFE is a guessing competition and the men who guess right become -millionaires or misogynists. - -WOMEN are reputed to be able to do or undo anything with a hair pin. -Some of them can do quite a lot without one. - -THERE is all the difference in the world between being left by oneself -and being left by someone else. - -ALL WOMEN want real love, but their passion for bargains leads them to -accept cheap imitations. - -WHAT a woman’s eyes tell a man, and what his own eyes tell him is all he -can ever hope to know about her. - -A MAN sometimes wants to be alone to be alone, but if a woman wants to -be alone it is to be alone _with_ someone. - -EVERYONE has his own particular way of making an ass of himself and if -your method is peculiar enough you are snap-shotted for the halfpenny -press—and that is fame. - -IT IS the most difficult thing in the world to attract the attention of -a crowd, it is always so absolutely intent on the man who is trying to -escape its attention. - -IF YOU can’t get rid of a man any other way—marry him. - -IF YOU want people to take your hand put it in your pocket. - -MEN all lie to women—in order to win them, in order to lose them, or -sometimes only in order to comfort them. - -ONE imagines that the reason some people are so keen on getting married -is that you can’t get divorced till you are married. - -EVERYONE goes everywhere now-a-days; it is very tiresome, because it -makes it almost impossible to see life without being seen. - -HUSBANDS and wives often become fast simply in their efforts to escape -one another. - -YOU can’t have a really good time and a really good reputation, but then -a good reputation is of no value at all until it is lost. - -THE man to marry is not the man you can be happy with but the man you -can’t be happy without. - -NOTHING in this world is compromising until it is found out. - -THE only way to close some people’s mouths is to fill them. - -IT IS extraordinary how marriage changes a man—towards the woman he has -married. - -A GREAT scandal is generally the public version of a great secret. - -RICH FRIENDS are a great expense; one is so apt to live beyond their -means. - -IF A WOMAN expresses admiration for another woman, either she does not -admire her or her husband does not. - -A MAN will forgive a woman for not being there when he wanted her, but -never for being there when he did not want her. - -MANY A MAN known to the public as a ‘man of letters’ is known to his own -people as a man of casual notes and infrequent telegrams. - -ALMOST anyone can be noticeable, but only a very few are distinguished. - -THE FRENCH describe a woman of over forty as of a ‘certain age,’ but as -a matter of fact it is after she is forty that a woman’s age becomes -most uncertain. - -EVERYONE likes to be loved, if it is only to convince someone else that -they are lovable. - -WHEN a woman is past the love stage she is dead. - -MOST PEOPLE are only caricatures of their own possibilities. - -[Illustration: woman peeking over shoulder] - -MEN do not try to escape temptations; their only fear is that some -temptation should escape them. - -[Illustration: back view of man wearing hat with coat draped over right -arm] - -THE WORLD is logical and ruthless in its conclusions; it says that if a -man is not worth any money he is worthless, and that if a man is worth -£100,000 he is worthy. - -INFIDELITY is, very occasionally, the greatest compliment a man can pay -a woman. - -THE WOMAN who bares her shoulders usually has a larger following than -the woman who bares her soul. - -IT IS IMPOSSIBLE to study life and your husband as well. - -A MAN who begins by asking a woman to sell her soul usually ends by -asking her to sell her diamonds. - -THE BENEFIT of credit is greater than the benefit of the doubt. - -A GOOD REASON MAY be a bad excuse. - -THE CLEVEREST woman is not the one that can make a man feel that he is a -fool but the woman that can make a man feel that he is a man. - -WOMEN may want to be slaves but they insist on choosing their own -masters. - -DISCRETION is the talent some women have of knowing with whom they can -be indiscreet. - -THE MOST perfect form of flattery is to tell people what they think of -themselves. - -IT IS NOT what you think of him, but what other people think of your -husband decides whether you have made a good match or not. - -IT IS NOT her sense but his senses that make a man love a woman. - -LEADERS of men have been known to be followers of women. - -IF YOU want to keep a man’s love, by all means dress for him, not before -him. - -THE LESS women care about clothes the more clothes they wear. - -MEN ARE capable of the most marvellous self-sacrifice; a man will even -give up the woman he loves because he cannot afford to keep both a wife -and a motor. - -BE SURE that you are outside when you lock the door of the house of -memory and throw away the key. - -THE LAWYER’S Progress—getting on, getting honour, getting honest. - -IN A CRISIS a woman will turn to a priest or a palmist. - -WHEN a man ceases to be single he _ipso facto_ begins to lead a double -life. - -LIFE for a man is getting and forgetting, for a woman giving and -forgiving. - -A MUTUAL sense of superiority is a good basis for friendship between two -women. - -DECEPTIONS are the oil to the wheels of life. - -IT IS WELL to be out of reach but you must also be within sight to hold -a man’s attention. - -WOMEN love men for their faults—when they can’t find anything else to -love them for. - -A MYSTERY does not become a scandal until it is solved. - -MANY a man gets on his feet by continuing to lie. - -SILK stockings are the last things a woman discards—when she is -economising. - -ONE of the most adorable rules of life is always to put off till to- -morrow what you are obliged to do to-day. - -GOOD habits are generally affectations or obesity cures and bad habits -are often one’s sole plea to personality. - -SOME people seem to think that a reputation for wit is to be gained by -saying what they think; they forget that it is necessary first of all to -think wittingly. - -A LOVE affair that never ends is one that has been interrupted. - -A WOMAN may have her price yet someone is always ready to give her away. - -THE one that does not come out of a love affair well is the one that -gets left in. - -LOVE is a thirst that one cannot quench without becoming intoxicated. - -IF YOU start making a man give up things you are almost sure to end by -being one of the things he gives up. - -IF YOU can’t talk about a person behind their back, when can you talk -about them? - -SOME women are capable of doing anything for the man they love, others -make the man they love capable of doing anything. - -IT IS NOT as a rule until a woman should really be in the past tense -that she becomes intense at all. - -IT IS hardly fair to say that women are inherently deceitful. No woman -ever concealed anything that she dared reveal. - -IT IS not enough for a woman to wear her clothes well, she must also -wear well herself. - -IF A WOMAN cares for a man she will never give him away; she will not -even lend him to a friend. - -IT IS not the woman the man she loves has kissed that should worry a -jealous woman but the women he has not kissed—yet. - -THE only criterion for choosing presents is one’s own taste; that is why -old ladies give their nephews pin cushions, children give their parents -toys, men give their wives cigars, and lovers give each other kisses. - -YOU would be astonished at the calculations the most unmathematical -woman can do in her head. - -THE man who may mayn’t, the man who mayn’t will every time. - -ONE’S friends are divided into two classes, those one knows because one -must and those one knows because one mustn’t. - -THERE are some men whose very insolence is flattery to a woman, while -even the flattery of others is insulting. - -MANY a woman who seems to want coaxing might be driven if the car were -luxurious enough. - -TO BE subject to one’s relations is worse than being subject to fits. - -IN THE game of life the woman who is lucky in hearts generally holds the -biggest diamonds too. - -SOME women seem to think that they have only to wear a smile to be chic. - -IT IS difficult enough to know the right people, but a hundred times -more difficult to love the right people. - -NARROW minds seem to be able to squeeze in anywhere. - -LOVE is like a bazaar. The admittance is free but it costs you something -before you get out. - -[Illustration: woman by decorative column and draped fabric] - -YOU can never forget a sin you have confessed. - -ONLY the novice attempts to fascinate a man by convincing him how -charming she is; the woman who knows simply convinces him how charming -he is and the rest just happens. - -WOMAN has proved that she can take a man’s place among men. But she will -never be able to take a man’s place among women. - -EVERYONE has been young once, most women are young about three times. - -MANY a woman tries to cheer herself up with the thought that her husband -would be sorry if she died. - -A WOMAN has to choose between being an episode and being a nuisance. - -NO ONE has anything but contempt for the world’s opinion of them—unless -it is a really good one. - -IT IS hard to say which is the more to be pitied, a man with an ugly, -unattractive wife he does not care for or the man with a pretty -fascinating wife whom he does care for. - -AS LONG as you return his presents a man will continue to love you, but -return his love and he really does become discouraged. - -SPEECH may have been given a woman to conceal her thoughts but clothes -were certainly not given her to conceal her form. - -PEOPLE who have lost their reputation generally acquire such very bad -ones in its place. - -THE fact that he is boring other people luckily does not prevent a man -from amusing himself. - -TO HAVE their private life made public is the way some people have got -into and others out of society. - -THREE is usually an unlucky number if one is the third. - -IF A MAN loves his wife he thinks everyone does, and if he does not love -her he thinks no one does—and in both cases he is probably wrong. - -HOME comforts are things that are always sent to people away from home; -those at home have to put up with the discomforts. - -GOOD women are nearly always jealous of bad women—and they have every -reason to be. - -A MAN is really capable if he can successfully mix his wines and keep -his women friends apart. - -A MAN does not love a woman because she is a good house-keeper, but he -is quite likely to unlove her because she is a bad one. - -A GIRL must sometimes find it awfully difficult to give her friends a -good reason for having married the only man who ever asked her. - -YOU may feel for others but you must think for yourself. - -THE very worst people often live at the very best addresses. - -ALMOST anyone can see the humour of the situation when it is someone -else who is situated. - -FROM the way some people seem to avoid knowing themselves we imagine -them to be quite particular about their acquaintances. - -A MAN of honour does not help himself to another man’s property—until he -can’t help himself. - -MOST women live for the present, and the handsomer the present the -better they live. - -[Illustration: seated woman taking string of jewels from plate held by -small man] - -LOVE has so many components—multi-coloured beads threaded on the string -of trust; break that and all the beads are scattered. - -THAT a man is fat does not necessarily prove that he is generous—except -to himself. - -SO MANY people would give anything to escape from home to some place -where they could be really at home. - -GOODNESS only knows—half what wickedness knows. - -THERE are all sorts of women. Choose one you like, but never try to -change the one you choose. - -THERE are people who are always complaining that they don’t know what to -do, while the only trouble other people have is that they can’t remember -what not to do. - -AN INNOCENT question may have anything but an innocent answer. - -EVERY woman acts one part in her life, that of the sort of girl the man -she wants to marry wants to marry. - -[Illustration: man and woman on settee] - -MEN always say that they loathe being flattered, but don’t take any -notice—no man has ever known that he was flattered. - -WOMEN are divided into two classes, good wives who have no husband, and -bad wives who have several. - -A PRETTY girl can afford to wear inexpensive dresses, on the other hand -she is more likely to be able to afford costly ones than if she were -plain. - -WHEN a flapper wants to she does, when she doesn’t want to she says her -mother won’t let her. - -IT IS USELESS to be able to support a woman in luxury if you cannot -support her _en déshabille_. - -BETTER a will in your favour than a will of your own. - -THE ONLY way to keep a man at home is to go out with him. - -WOMEN love men for what they give them, men love women for what they -deny them. - -THE TROUBLE is that man is by nature a man—not a husband. - -[Illustration: seated woman with key in one hand and stack of letters in -the other] - -LETTERS that should never have been written and ought immediately to be -destroyed are the only ones worth keeping. - -‘TRUE FRIENDS’ are generally quite impossible, and true lovers highly -improbable. - -NEVER make a woman cry unless she insists. - -A MAN is like an omelette, he cannot be successfully warmed up again -once he has got cold. - -YOU NEED not consider a man but you must amuse him. - -TO KNOW and understand women requires brain: to know and understand men -requires beauty. - -WHEN a woman begins to boast of the insults she has been offered in the -past her charms are waning. - -A CLEVER woman can help her husband, a pretty woman can help herself. - -MOONLIGHT does not make things happen but it makes them visible. - -THE husband who counts is the one who has something to count. - -[Illustration: man smoking cigar strolling with fancily dressed woman on -his arm] - -THERE IS a lot of difference between the man who admires fresh -complexions and the man who likes fresh faces. - -A WOMAN never notices that there is nothing to do in a place unless -there is no one to do it with. - -THERE are no middle-aged people now: they are young, wonderful for their -age, and then dead. - -THE ACT of ‘putting your cards on the table’ does not necessarily reveal -what your foot is doing under it. - -VERY few women will go so far to prove that their price is above rubies -as to refuse—rubies. - -MEN never grow up, they begin and end in arms. - -THE history of the world is the story of how different people made the -same mistake. Progress is the occasional departure from this order when -someone has sufficient genius to think of a new sort of mistake to make. - -WOMEN will destroy a man’s faith, his illusions, his love: but they will -_not_ destroy his letters. - -A MAN goes to a woman when he is in trouble—and gets into more trouble. - -IF A WOMAN wants a thing she gets it. If a man wants a thing he buys it. - -OPINIONS differ as to whether it is bad to be modern or merely modern to -be bad. - -FIRE-ARMS and freedom are two things that very few women ever handle -properly. - -WHAT a woman doesn’t know she guesses, and what she guesses she knows. - -NO WOMAN with real beauty ever had false modesty. - -WHEN a man has money to burn the chronic borrower is a match for him. - -SOME people who boast of not wearing their heart on their sleeve -probably know that if they did it would give them a most awfully shabby -appearance. - -MOST women look better on a cushioned couch than on a pedestal, and -certainly feel more at home. - -WHEN a woman wants a man to love her it does not necessarily mean that -she loves him; it probably means that some other woman loves him. - -THERE are people who read books, look at cathedrals and commit sins -merely to provide themselves with topics of conversation. - -A MAN’S sense of honour is a very delicate mechanism and apt to get out -of order if brought too near a pretty woman. - -WOMAN is the eternal question, and man is the answer to it. - -PEOPLE will tell you that they never do what they are ashamed of, when -what they really mean is that they are never ashamed of what they do. - -ORIGINALLY an animal, man has been improved by civilization and may -eventually develop into a perfect beast. - -IF A WOMAN speaks without thinking, she may perhaps say what she really -thinks. - -A MAN who will come and go at a woman’s word invariably has to go once -oftener than he comes. - -TO LOOK WELL DRESSED is a matter of technique; to look well undressed -requires natural gifts. - -A WOMAN should exercise the greatest care in the choice of the men she -allows to love her, for by the quality of her lovers the quality of her -attractions will be judged. - -FEW MEN are quite so intolerable as the eulogies of the women who love -them make them out to be. - -A WOMAN loses her illusions at just about the same time as she loses her -looks. - -THE TRUE test is not whether a man behaves like a gentleman, but whether -he misbehaves like one. - -CONVERSATION IS listening to yourself in the presence of others. - -A LOVER’S eyes are a flattering mirror. - -[Illustration: woman and man seated at table with champagne bucket] - -WHEN you see an old man alone you are looking at something very sad. -When you see an old man with a young woman you are looking at something -rich. - -IT IS NOT quite fair to blame people for not possessing the virtues with -which your imagination has endowed them. - -A MAN’S IDEA of ‘life’ is a series of improbable situations with -impossible people. - -A WOMAN’S KISSES prove almost as little as her words. A man kisses a -woman because she attracts him, while a woman kisses a man because she -likes to attract him. - -SO MANY rich men have given up all the pleasures of youth so that when -they are old they can afford all the things they can no longer enjoy. - -A WOMAN’S chief asset lies in what is invested with mystery; a man’s -chief assets must needs be invested with knowledge. - -NOW-A-DAYS it is almost impossible to keep outsiders outside. - -MOST MARRIED people would get on so much better together if they were -apart. - -A MAN will tell a woman that he loves her for herself alone, but what he -really means is that he loves her for himself alone. - -MOST PEOPLE’S idea of ‘starting afresh’ is going on in the same way -somewhere else. - -WHEN A woman marries she displays her ability to do so. When a man -marries he displays his inability not to do so. - -IT IS the man with plenty of cash who gets plenty of change. - -YOU CANNOT make a young girl’s interest grow by pouring lotion on a bald -head. - -IN MARRIAGE or any other adversity a nice man’s best points come out, -which is very delightful as long as his teeth are not his best point. - -NO MAN ever regrets resisting temptation, because no man ever resists a -temptation. - -NEVER ask a man—just make him tell you. - -A MAN kisses whom he may and loves whom he mayn’t. - -WHAT a woman wears reveals more than what she says. - -[Illustration: fancily dressed woman] - -RED haired women generally look as if they would like to be kissed, -while red haired men look as if they would like to be bald. - -THE book of life is illustrated in black and white; dreams are the -colour supplement. - -THE most tragic moment of a woman’s life is the one in which she -realises that she can at last play with fire without getting burnt. - -WHEN a woman believes in a man’s fidelity it is not because she trusts -him, but because she has confidence in herself. - -MOST people would like their own ways and other people’s means. - -THERE are not enough men to go round, but some heroes attempt to put -things right by going round as much as ever they can. - -SUCCESSFUL men take advantage of opportunities—successful women take -advantage of successful men. - -MOST women start a love affair by having a secret with a man, and end by -having secrets from him. - -IT IS a woman’s lot to pretend to care less than she does, while a man -pretends to care more than he does. They both leave off pretending about -the same time. - -MEN have privileges—but they have to pay the cab. - -THE object of a woman with a past is probably a man with a present. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tatlings, by Sydney Tremayne - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TATLINGS *** - -***** This file should be named 60046-0.txt or 60046-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/6/0/0/4/60046/ - -Produced by ellinora and the Online Distributed Proofreading -Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from -images generously made available by The Internet -Archive/American Libraries.) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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