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diff --git a/old/vfair11.txt b/old/vfair11.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d2c1cad --- /dev/null +++ b/old/vfair11.txt @@ -0,0 +1,36786 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of Vanity Fair, by William Thackary +#1 in our series by William Makepeace Thackary + + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations* + +Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and +further information is included below. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END* + + + +etext of Vanity Fair +Contact: Juli Rew, juliana@ncar.ucar.edu + + + + +Vanity Fair +by William Makepeace Thackeray + + + +BEFORE THE CURTAIN + +As the manager of the Performance sits before the curtain +on the boards and looks into the Fair, a feeling of profound +melancholy comes over him in his survey of the bustling place. +There is a great quantity of eating and drinking, making love +and jilting, laughing and the contrary, smoking, cheating, +fighting, dancing and fiddling; there are bullies pushing about, +bucks ogling the women, knaves picking pockets, policemen +on the look-out, quacks (OTHER quacks, plague take them!) +bawling in front of their booths, and yokels looking up at +the tinselled dancers and poor old rouged tumblers, while the +light-fingered folk are operating upon their pockets behind. +Yes, this is VANITY FAIR; not a moral place certainly; nor a +merry one, though very noisy. Look at the faces of the actors +and buffoons when they come off from their business; and +Tom Fool washing the paint off his cheeks before he sits down +to dinner with his wife and the little Jack Puddings behind +the canvas. The curtain will be up presently, and he will be +turning over head and heels, and crying, "How are you?" + +A man with a reflective turn of mind, walking through an +exhibition of this sort, will not be oppressed, I take it, by his +own or other people's hilarity. An episode of humour or kindness +touches and amuses him here and there--a pretty child +looking at a gingerbread stall; a pretty girl blushing whilst her +lover talks to her and chooses her fairing; poor Tom Fool, +yonder behind the waggon, mumbling his bone with the honest +family which lives by his tumbling; but the general impression +is one more melancholy than mirthful. When you come home +you sit down in a sober, contemplative, not uncharitable frame +of mind, and apply yourself to your books or your business. + +I have no other moral than this to tag to the present story +of "Vanity Fair." Some people consider Fairs immoral altogether, +and eschew such, with their servants and families: very +likely they are right. But persons who think otherwise, and are +of a lazy, or a benevolent, or a sarcastic mood, may perhaps +like to step in for half an hour, and look at the performances. +There are scenes of all sorts; some dreadful combats, some +grand and lofty horse-riding, some scenes of high life, and +some of very middling indeed; some love-making for the +sentimental, and some light comic business; the whole +accompanied by appropriate scenery and brilliantly illuminated +with the Author's own candles. + +What more has the Manager of the Performance to say?-- +To acknowledge the kindness with which it has been received +in all the principal towns of England through which the Show +has passed, and where it has been most favourably noticed by +the respected conductors of the public Press, and by the Nobility +and Gentry. He is proud to think that his Puppets have given +satisfaction to the very best company in this empire. The +famous little Becky Puppet has been pronounced to be uncommonly +flexible in the joints, and lively on the wire; the Amelia +Doll, though it has had a smaller circle of admirers, has yet +been carved and dressed with the greatest care by the artist; the +Dobbin Figure, though apparently clumsy, yet dances in a very +amusing and natural manner; the Little Boys' Dance has been +liked by some; and please to remark the richly dressed figure +of the Wicked Nobleman, on which no expense has been +spared, and which Old Nick will fetch away at the end of this +singular performance. + +And with this, and a profound bow to his patrons, the +Manager retires, and the curtain rises. + +LONDON, June 28, 1848 + + + + +Chapter 1 + + +Chiswick Mall + +While the present century was in its teens, and on one +sunshiny morning in June, there drove up to the great +iron gate of Miss Pinkerton's academy for young ladies, +on Chiswick Mall, a large family coach, with two fat +horses in blazing harness, driven by a fat coachman in +a three-cornered hat and wig, at the rate of four miles +an hour. A black servant, who reposed on the box beside +the fat coachman, uncurled his bandy legs as soon as +the equipage drew up opposite Miss Pinkerton's shining +brass plate, and as he pulled the bell at least a score of +young heads were seen peering out of the narrow windows +of the stately old brick house. Nay, the acute observer might +have recognized the little red nose of good-natured Miss +Jemima Pinkerton herself, rising over some geranium pots +in the window of that lady's own drawing-room. + +"It is Mrs. Sedley's coach, sister," said Miss Jemima. +"Sambo, the black servant, has just rung the bell; and +the coachman has a new red waistcoat." + +"Have you completed all the necessary preparations +incident to Miss Sedley's departure, Miss Jemima?" asked +Miss Pinkerton herself, that majestic lady; the Semiramis +of Hammersmith, the friend of Doctor Johnson, the +correspondent of Mrs. Chapone herself. + +"The girls were up at four this morning, packing her +trunks, sister," replied Miss Jemima; "we have made her +a bow-pot." + +"Say a bouquet, sister Jemima, 'tis more genteel." + +"Well, a booky as big almost as a haystack; I have put +up two bottles of the gillyflower water for Mrs. Sedley, +and the receipt for making it, in Amelia's box." + +"And I trust, Miss Jemima, you have made a copy of +Miss Sedley's account. This is it, is it? Very good--ninety- +three pounds, four shillings. Be kind enough to address it +to John Sedley, Esquire, and to seal this billet which I +have written to his lady." + +In Miss Jemima's eyes an autograph letter of her sister, +Miss Pinkerton, was an object of as deep veneration as +would have been a letter from a sovereign. Only when +her pupils quitted the establishment, or when they were +about to be married, and once, when poor Miss Birch +died of the scarlet fever, was Miss Pinkerton known to +write personally to the parents of her pupils; and it was +Jemima's opinion that if anything could console Mrs. +Birch for her daughter's loss, it would be that pious and +eloquent composition in which Miss Pinkerton announced +the event. + +In the present instance Miss Pinkerton's "billet" was +to the following effect:-- + +The Mall, Chiswick, June 15, 18 + +MADAM,--After her six years' residence at the Mall, I +have the honour and happiness of presenting Miss Amelia +Sedley to her parents, as a young lady not unworthy +to occupy a fitting position in their polished and refined +circle. Those virtues which characterize the young English gentlewoman, those accomplishments which become +her birth and station, will not be found wanting in the +amiable Miss Sedley, whose INDUSTRY and OBEDIENCE +have endeared her to her instructors, and whose delightful sweetness of temper has charmed her AGED and her +YOUTHFUL companions. + +In music, in dancing, in orthography, in every variety +of embroidery and needlework, she will be found to +have realized her friends' fondest wishes. In geography +there is still much to be desired; and a careful and +undeviating use of the backboard, for four hours daily +during the next three years, is recommended as necessary +to the acquirement of that dignified DEPORTMENT AND +CARRIAGE, so requisite for every young lady of fashion. + +In the principles of religion and morality, Miss Sedley +will be found worthy of an establishment which has +been honoured by the presence of THE GREAT LEXICOGRAPHER, +and the patronage of the admirable Mrs. Chapone. In leaving +the Mall, Miss Amelia carries with her the hearts of her +companions, and the affectionate regards of her mistress, +who has the honour to subscribe herself, + +Madam, +Your most obliged humble servant, +BARBARA PINKERTON + +P.S.--Miss Sharp accompanies Miss Sedley. It is particularly requested that Miss Sharp's stay in Russell Square may not +exceed ten days. The family of distinction with whom she is +engaged, desire to avail themselves of her services as soon as possible. + +This letter completed, Miss Pinkerton proceeded to +write her own name, and Miss Sedley's, in the fly-leaf of +a Johnson's Dictionary--the interesting work which she +invariably presented to her scholars, on their departure +from the Mall. On the cover was inserted a copy of "Lines +addressed to a young lady on quitting Miss Pinkerton's +school, at the Mall; by the late revered Doctor Samuel +Johnson." In fact, the Lexicographer's name was always +on the lips of this majestic woman, and a visit he had +paid to her was the cause of her reputation and her fortune. + +Being commanded by her elder sister to get "the Dictionary" +from the cupboard, Miss Jemima had extracted two copies +of the book from the receptacle in question. When Miss +Pinkerton had finished the inscription in the first, Jemima, +with rather a dubious and timid air, handed her the second. + +"For whom is this, Miss Jemima?" said Miss Pinkerton, +with awful coldness. + +"For Becky Sharp," answered Jemima, trembling very +much, and blushing over her withered face and neck, as +she turned her back on her sister. "For Becky Sharp: +she's going too." + + "MISS JEMIMA!" exclaimed Miss Pinkerton, in the +largest capitals. "Are you in your senses? Replace the +Dixonary in the closet, and never venture to take such +a liberty in future." + +"Well, sister, it's only two-and-ninepence, and poor +Becky will be miserable if she don't get one." + +"Send Miss Sedley instantly to me," said Miss Pinkerton. +And so venturing not to say another word, poor +Jemima trotted off, exceedingly flurried and nervous. + +Miss Sedley's papa was a merchant in London, and a +man of some wealth; whereas Miss Sharp was an articled +pupil, for whom Miss Pinkerton had done, as she thought, +quite enough, without conferring upon her at parting the +high honour of the Dixonary. + +Although schoolmistresses' letters are to be trusted no +more nor less than churchyard epitaphs; yet, as it sometimes happens that a person departs this life who is really +deserving of all the praises the stone cutter carves over +his bones; who IS a good Christian, a good parent, child, +wife, or husband; who actually DOES leave a disconsolate +family to mourn his loss; so in academies of the male +and female sex it occurs every now and then that the +pupil is fully worthy of the praises bestowed by the +disinterested instructor. Now, Miss Amelia Sedley was a +young lady of this singular species; and deserved not only +all that Miss Pinkerton said in her praise, but had many +charming qualities which that pompous old Minerva of a +woman could not see, from the differences of rank and +age between her pupil and herself. + +For she could not only sing like a lark, or a Mrs. +Billington, and dance like Hillisberg or Parisot; and +embroider beautifully; and spell as well as a Dixonary +itself; but she had such a kindly, smiling, tender, gentle, +generous heart of her own, as won the love of everybody +who came near her, from Minerva herself down to the poor +girl in the scullery, and the one-eyed tart-woman's +daughter, who was permitted to vend her wares once a +week to the young ladies in the Mall. She had twelve intimate +and bosom friends out of the twenty-four young ladies. +Even envious Miss Briggs never spoke ill of her; high +and mighty Miss Saltire (Lord Dexter's granddaughter) +allowed that her figure was genteel; and as for Miss +Swartz, the rich woolly-haired mulatto from St. Kitt's, on +the day Amelia went away, she was in such a passion of +tears that they were obliged to send for Dr. Floss, and half +tipsify her with salvolatile. Miss Pinkerton's attachment +was, as may be supposed from the high position and +eminent virtues of that lady, calm and dignified; but Miss +Jemima had already whimpered several times at the idea +of Amelia's departure; and, but for fear of her sister, +would have gone off in downright hysterics, like the +heiress (who paid double) of St. Kitt's. Such luxury of +grief, however, is only allowed to parlour-boarders. +Honest Jemima had all the bills, and the washing, and the +mending, and the puddings, and the plate and crockery, +and the servants to superintend. But why speak about +her? It is probable that we shall not hear of her again +from this moment to the end of time, and that when the +great filigree iron gates are once closed on her, she and +her awful sister will never issue therefrom into this little +world of history. + +But as we are to see a great deal of Amelia, there is +no harm in saying, at the outset of our acquaintance, that +she was a dear little creature; and a great mercy it is, +both in life and in novels, which (and the latter especially) +abound in villains of the most sombre sort, that +we are to have for a constant companion so guileless +and good-natured a person. As she is not a heroine, there +is no need to describe her person; indeed I am afraid +that her nose was rather short than otherwise, and her +cheeks a great deal too round and red for a heroine; but +her face blushed with rosy health, and her lips with the +freshest of smiles, and she had a pair of eyes which +sparkled with the brightest and honestest good-humour, +except indeed when they filled with tears, and that was +a great deal too often; for the silly thing would cry over +a dead canary-bird; or over a mouse, that the cat haply +had seized upon; or over the end of a novel, were it ever +so stupid; and as for saying an unkind word to her, were +any persons hard-hearted enough to do so--why, so much +the worse for them. Even Miss Pinkerton, that austere +and godlike woman, ceased scolding her after the first +time, and though she no more comprehended sensibility +than she did Algebra, gave all masters and teachers +particular orders to treat Miss Sedley with the utmost +gentleness, as harsh treatment was injurious to her. + +So that when the day of departure came, between her +two customs of laughing and crying, Miss Sedley was +greatly puzzled how to act. She was glad to go home, +and yet most woefully sad at leaving school. For three +days before, little Laura Martin, the orphan, followed her +about like a little dog. She had to make and receive at +least fourteen presents--to make fourteen solemn promises +of writing every week: "Send my letters under cover +to my grandpapa, the Earl of Dexter," said Miss Saltire +(who, by the way, was rather shabby). "Never mind the +postage, but write every day, you dear darling," said the +impetuous and woolly-headed, but generous and +affectionate Miss Swartz; and the orphan little Laura Martin +(who was just in round-hand), took her friend's hand +and said, looking up in her face wistfully, "Amelia, when +I write to you I shall call you Mamma." All which details, +I have no doubt, JONES, who reads this book at his +Club, will pronounce to be excessively foolish, trivial, +twaddling, and ultra-sentimental. Yes; I can see Jones +at this minute (rather flushed with his joint of mutton +and half pint of wine), taking out his pencil and scoring +under the words "foolish, twaddling," &c., and adding to +them his own remark of "QUITE TRUE." Well, he is a lofty +man of genius, and admires the great and heroic in life +and novels; and so had better take warning and go elsewhere. + +Well, then. The flowers, and the presents, and the +trunks, and bonnet-boxes of Miss Sedley having been +arranged by Mr. Sambo in the carriage, together with a +very small and weather-beaten old cow's-skin trunk with +Miss Sharp's card neatly nailed upon it, which was +delivered by Sambo with a grin, and packed by the +coachman with a corresponding sneer--the hour for parting +came; and the grief of that moment was considerably +lessened by the admirable discourse which Miss Pinkerton +addressed to her pupil. Not that the parting speech caused +Amelia to philosophise, or that it armed her in any +way with a calmness, the result of argument; but it was +intolerably dull, pompous, and tedious; and having the +fear of her schoolmistress greatly before her eyes, Miss +Sedley did not venture, in her presence, to give way to +any ebullitions of private grief. A seed-cake and a bottle +of wine were produced in the drawing-room, as on the +solemn occasions of the visits of parents, and these +refreshments being partaken of, Miss Sedley was at +liberty to depart. + +"You'll go in and say good-by to Miss Pinkerton, +Becky!" said Miss Jemima to a young lady of whom +nobody took any notice, and who was coming downstairs +with her own bandbox. + +"I suppose I must," said Miss Sharp calmly, and much +to the wonder of Miss Jemima; and the latter having +knocked at the door, and receiving permission to come +in, Miss Sharp advanced in a very unconcerned manner, +and said in French, and with a perfect accent, "Mademoiselle, +je viens vous faire mes adieux." + +Miss Pinkerton did not understand French; she only +directed those who did: but biting her lips and throwing +up her venerable and Roman-nosed head (on the top of +which figured a large and solemn turban), she said, "Miss +Sharp, I wish you a good morning." As the Hammersmith +Semiramis spoke, she waved one hand, both by way of +adieu, and to give Miss Sharp an opportunity of shaking +one of the fingers of the hand which was left out for +that purpose. + +Miss Sharp only folded her own hands with a very +frigid smile and bow, and quite declined to accept the +proffered honour; on which Semiramis tossed up her +turban more indignantly than ever. In fact, it was a little +battle between the young lady and the old one, and the +latter was worsted. "Heaven bless you, my child," said +she, embracing Amelia, and scowling the while over the +girl's shoulder at Miss Sharp. "Come away, Becky," said +Miss Jemima, pulling the young woman away in great +alarm, and the drawing-room door closed upon them for +ever. + +Then came the struggle and parting below. Words +refuse to tell it. All the servants were there in the hall-- +all the dear friend--all the young ladies--the dancing- +master who had just arrived; and there was such a +scuffling, and hugging, and kissing, and crying, with the +hysterical YOOPS of Miss Swartz, the parlour-boarder, +from her room, as no pen can depict, and as the tender +heart would fain pass over. The embracing was over; they +parted--that is, Miss Sedley parted from her friends. Miss +Sharp had demurely entered the carriage some minutes +before. Nobody cried for leaving HER. + +Sambo of the bandy legs slammed the carriage door +on his young weeping mistress. He sprang up behind the +carriage. "Stop!" cried Miss Jemima, rushing to the gate +with a parcel. + +"It's some sandwiches, my dear," said she to Amelia. +"You may be hungry, you know; and Becky, Becky +Sharp, here's a book for you that my sister--that is, I +--Johnson's Dixonary, you know; you mustn't leave us +without that. Good-by. Drive on, coachman. God bless +you!" + +And the kind creature retreated into the garden, +overcome with emotion. + +But, lo! and just as the coach drove off, Miss Sharp put +her pale face out of the window and actually flung the +book back into the garden. + +This almost caused Jemima to faint with terror. "Well, +I never"--said she--"what an audacious"--Emotion +prevented her from completing either sentence. The +carriage rolled away; the great gates were closed; the bell +rang for the dancing lesson. The world is before the two +young ladies; and so, farewell to Chiswick Mall. + + + +CHAPTER II + + +In Which Miss Sharp and Miss Sedley +Prepare to Open the Campaign + +When Miss Sharp had performed the heroical act +mentioned in the last chapter, and had seen the Dixonary, +flying over the pavement of the little garden, fall at length +at the feet of the astonished Miss Jemima, the young +lady's countenance, which had before worn an almost +livid look of hatred, assumed a smile that perhaps was +scarcely more agreeable, and she sank back in the +carriage in an easy frame of mind, saying--"So much for +the Dixonary; and, thank God, I'm out of Chiswick." + +Miss Sedley was almost as flurried at the act of defiance +as Miss Jemima had been; for, consider, it was but one +minute that she had left school, and the impressions of +six years are not got over in that space of time. Nay, +with some persons those awes and terrors of youth last +for ever and ever. I know, for instance, an old gentleman +of sixty-eight, who said to me one morning at breakfast, +with a very agitated countenance, "I dreamed last +night that I was flogged by Dr. Raine." Fancy had carried +him back five-and-fifty years in the course of that +evening. Dr. Raine and his rod were just as awful to him +in his heart, then, at sixty-eight, as they had been at +thirteen. If the Doctor, with a large birch, had appeared +bodily to him, even at the age of threescore and eight, +and had said in awful voice, "Boy, take down your +pant--"? Well, well, Miss Sedley was exceedingly +alarmed at this act of insubordination. + +"How could you do so, Rebecca?" at last she said, +after a pause. + +"Why, do you think Miss Pinkerton will come out and +order me back to the black-hole?" said Rebecca, laughing. + +"No: but--" + +"I hate the whole house," continued Miss Sharp in a +fury. "I hope I may never set eyes on it again. I wish it +were in the bottom of the Thames, I do; and if Miss +Pinkerton were there, I wouldn't pick her out, that I +wouldn't. O how I should like to see her floating in the +water yonder, turban and all, with her train streaming +after her, and her nose like the beak of a wherry." + +"Hush!" cried Miss Sedley. + +"Why, will the black footman tell tales?" cried Miss +Rebecca, laughing. "He may go back and tell Miss +Pinkerton that I hate her with all my soul; and I wish he +would; and I wish I had a means of proving it, too. For +two years I have only had insults and outrage from her. +I have been treated worse than any servant in the kitchen. +I have never had a friend or a kind word, except from +you. I have been made to tend the little girls in the lower +schoolroom, and to talk French to the Misses, until I +grew sick of my mother tongue. But that talking French +to Miss Pinkerton was capital fun, wasn't it? She doesn't +know a word of French, and was too proud to confess +it. I believe it was that which made her part with me; +and so thank Heaven for French. Vive la France! Vive +l'Empereur! Vive Bonaparte!" + +"O Rebecca, Rebecca, for shame!" cried Miss Sedley; +for this was the greatest blasphemy Rebecca had as yet +uttered; and in those days, in England, to say, "Long live +Bonaparte!" was as much as to say, "Long live Lucifer!" +"How can you--how dare you have such wicked, +revengeful thoughts?" + +"Revenge may be wicked, but it's natural," answered +Miss Rebecca. "I'm no angel." And, to say the truth, she +certainly was not. + +For it may be remarked in the course of this little +conversation (which took place as the coach rolled along +lazily by the river side) that though Miss Rebecca Sharp +has twice had occasion to thank Heaven, it has been, in +the first place, for ridding her of some person whom she +hated, and secondly, for enabling her to bring her +enemies to some sort of perplexity or confusion; neither +of which are very amiable motives for religious gratitude, +or such as would be put forward by persons of a kind +and placable disposition. Miss Rebecca was not, then, in +the least kind or placable. All the world used her ill, said +this young misanthropist, and we may be pretty certain +that persons whom all the world treats ill, deserve +entirely the treatment they get. The world is a looking- +glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his +own face. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly +upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly kind +companion; and so let all young persons take their choice. +This is certain, that if the world neglected Miss Sharp, +she never was known to have done a good action in +behalf of anybody; nor can it be expected that twenty- +four young ladies should all be as amiable as the heroine +of this work, Miss Sedley (whom we have selected for +the very reason that she was the best-natured of all, +otherwise what on earth was to have prevented us from +putting up Miss Swartz, or Miss Crump, or Miss Hopkins, +as heroine in her place!) it could not be expected that +every one should be of the humble and gentle temper +of Miss Amelia Sedley; should take every opportunity to +vanquish Rebecca's hard-heartedness and ill-humour; and, +by a thousand kind words and offices, overcome, for once +at least, her hostility to her kind. + +Miss Sharp's father was an artist, and in that quality +had given lessons of drawing at Miss Pinkerton's school. +He was a clever man; a pleasant companion; a careless +student; with a great propensity for running into debt, +and a partiality for the tavern. When he was drunk, he +used to beat his wife and daughter; and the next morning, +with a headache, he would rail at the world for its neglect +of his genius, and abuse, with a good deal of cleverness, +and sometimes with perfect reason, the fools, his brother +painters. As it was with the utmost difficulty that he +could keep himself, and as he owed money for a mile +round Soho, where he lived, he thought to better his +circumstances by marrying a young woman of the French +nation, who was by profession an opera-girl. The humble +calling of her female parent Miss Sharp never alluded to, +but used to state subsequently that the Entrechats were +a noble family of Gascony, and took great pride in her +descent from them. And curious it is that as she advanced +in life this young lady's ancestors increased in rank and +splendour. + +Rebecca's mother had had some education somewhere, +and her daughter spoke French with purity and a Parisian +accent. It was in those days rather a rare accomplishment, +and led to her engagement with the orthodox Miss +Pinkerton. For her mother being dead, her father, finding +himself not likely to recover, after his third attack of +delirium tremens, wrote a manly and pathetic letter to +Miss Pinkerton, recommending the orphan child to her +protection, and so descended to the grave, after two +bailiffs had quarrelled over his corpse. Rebecca was +seventeen when she came to Chiswick, and was bound +over as an articled pupil; her duties being to talk French, +as we have seen; and her privileges to live cost free, and, +with a few guineas a year, to gather scraps of knowledge +from the professors who attended the school. + +She was small and slight in person; pale, sandy-haired, +and with eyes habitually cast down: when they looked up +they were very large, odd, and attractive; so attractive +that the Reverend Mr. Crisp, fresh from Oxford, and +curate to the Vicar of Chiswick, the Reverend Mr. +Flowerdew, fell in love with Miss Sharp; being shot dead +by a glance of her eyes which was fired all the way across +Chiswick Church from the school-pew to the reading- +desk. This infatuated young man used sometimes to take +tea with Miss Pinkerton, to whom he had been presented +by his mamma, and actually proposed something like +marriage in an intercepted note, which the one-eyed +apple-woman was charged to deliver. Mrs. Crisp was +summoned from Buxton, and abruptly carried off her darling +boy; but the idea, even, of such an eagle in the Chiswick +dovecot caused a great flutter in the breast of Miss +Pinkerton, who would have sent away Miss Sharp but that +she was bound to her under a forfeit, and who never +could thoroughly believe the young lady's protestations +that she had never exchanged a single word with Mr. +Crisp, except under her own eyes on the two occasions +when she had met him at tea. + +By the side of many tall and bouncing young ladies in +the establishment, Rebecca Sharp looked like a child. But +she had the dismal precocity of poverty. Many a dun had +she talked to, and turned away from her father's door; +many a tradesman had she coaxed and wheedled into +good-humour, and into the granting of one meal more. +She sate commonly with her father, who was very proud +of her wit, and heard the talk of many of his wild +companions--often but ill-suited for a girl to hear. But she +never had been a girl, she said; she had been a woman +since she was eight years old. Oh, why did Miss Pinkerton +let such a dangerous bird into her cage? + +The fact is, the old lady believed Rebecca to be the +meekest creature in the world, so admirably, on the +occasions when her father brought her to Chiswick, used +Rebecca to perform the part of the ingenue; and only a +year before the arrangement by which Rebecca had been +admitted into her house, and when Rebecca was sixteen +years old, Miss Pinkerton majestically, and with a little +speech, made her a present of a doll--which was, by +the way, the confiscated property of Miss Swindle, +discovered surreptitiously nursing it in school-hours. How +the father and daughter laughed as they trudged home +together after the evening party (it was on the occasion of +the speeches, when all the professors were invited) and +how Miss Pinkerton would have raged had she seen the +caricature of herself which the little mimic, Rebecca, +managed to make out of her doll. Becky used to go +through dialogues with it; it formed the delight of +Newman Street, Gerrard Street, and the Artists' quarter: +and the young painters, when they came to take their gin- +and-water with their lazy, dissolute, clever, jovial senior, +used regularly to ask Rebecca if Miss Pinkerton was at +home: she was as well known to them, poor soul! as +Mr. Lawrence or President West. Once Rebecca had the +honour to pass a few days at Chiswick; after which she +brought back Jemima, and erected another doll as Miss +Jemmy: for though that honest creature had made and +given her jelly and cake enough for three children, and +a seven-shilling piece at parting, the girl's sense of +ridicule was far stronger than her gratitude, and she +sacrificed Miss Jemmy quite as pitilessly as her sister. + +The catastrophe came, and she was brought to the +Mall as to her home. The rigid formality of the place +suffocated her: the prayers and the meals, the lessons +and the walks, which were arranged with a conventual +regularity, oppressed her almost beyond endurance; and +she looked back to the freedom and the beggary of the +old studio in Soho with so much regret, that everybody, +herself included, fancied she was consumed with grief +for her father. She had a little room in the garret, where +the maids heard her walking and sobbing at night; but it +was with rage, and not with grief. She had not been much +of a dissembler, until now her loneliness taught her to +feign. She had never mingled in the society of women: +her father, reprobate as he was, was a man of talent; his +conversation was a thousand times more agreeable to her +than the talk of such of her own sex as she now encountered. +The pompous vanity of the old schoolmistress, the foolish +good-humour of her sister, the silly chat and scandal of the +elder girls, and the frigid correctness of the governesses +equally annoyed her; and she had no soft +maternal heart, this unlucky girl, otherwise the prattle +and talk of the younger children, with whose care she +was chiefly intrusted, might have soothed and interested +her; but she lived among them two years, and not one +was sorry that she went away. The gentle tender- +hearted Amelia Sedley was the only person to whom she +could attach herself in the least; and who could help +attaching herself to Amelia? + +The happiness the superior advantages of the young +women round about her, gave Rebecca inexpressible +pangs of envy. "What airs that girl gives herself, because +she is an Earl's grand-daughter," she said of one. "How +they cringe and bow to that Creole, because of her +hundred thousand pounds! I am a thousand times cleverer +and more charming than that creature, for all her wealth. +I am as well bred as the Earl's grand-daughter, for all her +fine pedigree; and yet every one passes me by here. And +yet, when I was at my father's, did not the men give up +their gayest balls and parties in order to pass the evening +with me?" She determined at any rate to get free from +the prison in which she found herself, and now began to +act for herself, and for the first time to make connected +plans for the future. + +She took advantage, therefore, of the means of study +the place offered her; and as she was already a musician +and a good linguist, she speedily went through the little +course of study which was considered necessary for ladies +in those days. Her music she practised incessantly, and +one day, when the girls were out, and she had remained +at home, she was overheard to play a piece so well that +Minerva thought, wisely, she could spare herself the +expense of a master for the juniors, and intimated to Miss +Sharp that she was to instruct them in music for the +future. + +The girl refused; and for the first time, and to the +astonishment of the majestic mistress of the school. "I +am here to speak French with the children," Rebecca +said abruptly, "not to teach them music, and save money +for you. Give me money, and I will teach them." + +Minerva was obliged to yield, and, of course, disliked +her from that day. "For five-and-thirty years," she said, +and with great justice, "I never have seen the individual +who has dared in my own house to question my +authority. I have nourished a viper in my bosom." + +"A viper--a fiddlestick," said Miss Sharp to the old +lady, almost fainting with astonishment. "You took me +because I was useful. There is no question of gratitude +between us. I hate this place, and want to leave it. I +will do nothing here but what I am obliged to do." + +It was in vain that the old lady asked her if she was +aware she was speaking to Miss Pinkerton? Rebecca +laughed in her face, with a horrid sarcastic demoniacal +laughter, that almost sent the schoolmistress into fits. +"Give me a sum of money," said the girl, "and get rid +of me--or, if you like better, get me a good place as +governess in a nobleman's family--you can do so if you +please." And in their further disputes she always returned +to this point, "Get me a situation--we hate each other, +and I am ready to go." + +Worthy Miss Pinkerton, although she had a Roman +nose and a turban, and was as tall as a grenadier, and +had been up to this time an irresistible princess, had no +will or strength like that of her little apprentice, and in +vain did battle against her, and tried to overawe her. +Attempting once to scold her in public, Rebecca hit upon +the before-mentioned plan of answering her in French, +which quite routed the old woman. In order to maintain +authority in her school, it became necessary to remove +this rebel, this monster, this serpent, this firebrand; and +hearing about this time that Sir Pitt Crawley's family +was in want of a governess, she actually recommended +Miss Sharp for the situation, firebrand and serpent as +she was. "I cannot, certainly," she said, "find fault with +Miss Sharp's conduct, except to myself; and must allow +that her talents and accomplishments are of a high order. +As far as the head goes, at least, she does credit to the +educational system pursued at my establishment.'' + +And so the schoolmistress reconciled the recommendation +to her conscience, and the indentures were cancelled, +and the apprentice was free. The battle here described +in a few lines, of course, lasted for some months. And +as Miss Sedley, being now in her seventeenth year, was +about to leave school, and had a friendship for Miss +Sharp ("'tis the only point in Amelia's behaviour," said +Minerva, "which has not been satisfactory to her +mistress"), Miss Sharp was invited by her friend to +pass a week with her at home, before she entered +upon her duties as governess in a private family. + +Thus the world began for these two young ladies. For +Amelia it was quite a new, fresh, brilliant world, with +all the bloom upon it. It was not quite a new one for +Rebecca--(indeed, if the truth must be told with respect +to the Crisp affair, the tart-woman hinted to somebody, +who took an affidavit of the fact to somebody else, that +there was a great deal more than was made public +regarding Mr. Crisp and Miss Sharp, and that his letter +was in answer to another letter). But who can tell you +the real truth of the matter? At all events, if Rebecca +was not beginning the world, she was beginning it over +again. + +By the time the young ladies reached Kensington turnpike, +Amelia had not forgotten her companions, but had +dried her tears, and had blushed very much and been +delighted at a young officer of the Life Guards, who spied +her as he was riding by, and said, "A dem fine gal, +egad!" and before the carriage arrived in Russell Square, +a great deal of conversation had taken place about the +Drawing-room, and whether or not young ladies wore +powder as well as hoops when presented, and whether +she was to have that honour: to the Lord Mayor's ball +she knew she was to go. And when at length home was +reached, Miss Amelia Sedley skipped out on Sambo's +arm, as happy and as handsome a girl as any in the whole +big city of London. Both he and coachman agreed on +this point, and so did her father and mother, and so did +every one of the servants in the house, as they stood +bobbing, and curtseying, and smiling, in the hall to +welcome their young mistress. + +You may be sure that she showed Rebecca over every +room of the house, and everything in every one of her +drawers; and her books, and her piano, and her dresses, +and all her necklaces, brooches, laces, and gimcracks. +She insisted upon Rebecca accepting the white cornelian +and the turquoise rings, and a sweet sprigged muslin, +which was too small for her now, though it would fit +her friend to a nicety; and she determined in her heart +to ask her mother's permission to present her white +Cashmere shawl to her friend. Could she not spare it? and +had not her brother Joseph just brought her two from +India? + +When Rebecca saw the two magnificent Cashmere +shawls which Joseph Sedley had brought home to his +sister, she said, with perfect truth, "that it must be +delightful to have a brother," and easily got the pity of the +tender-hearted Amelia for being alone in the world, an +orphan without friends or kindred. + +"Not alone," said Amelia; "you know, Rebecca, I shall +always be your friend, and love you as a sister--indeed +I will." + +"Ah, but to have parents, as you have--kind, rich, +affectionate parents, who give you everything you-ask +for; and their love, which is more precious than all! +My poor papa could give me nothing, and I had but two +frocks in all the world! And then, to have a brother, a +dear brother! Oh, how you must love him!" + +Amelia laughed. + +"What! don't you love him? you, who say you love +everybody?" ~; + +"Yes, of course, I do--only--" + +"Only what?" + +"Only Joseph doesn't seem to care much whether I +love him or not. He gave me two fingers to shake when +he arrived after ten years' absence! He is very kind and +good, but he scarcely ever speaks to me; I think he +loves his pipe a great deal better than his"--but here +Amelia checked herself, for why should she speak ill of +her brother? "He was very kind to me as a child," she +added; "I was but five years old when he went away." + +"Isn't he very rich?" said Rebecca. "They say all Indian +nabobs are enormously rich." + +"I believe he has a very large income." + +"And is your sister-in-law a nice pretty woman?" + +"La! Joseph is not married," said Amelia, laughing +again. + +Perhaps she had mentioned the fact already to Rebecca, +but that young lady did not appear to have remembered +it; indeed, vowed and protested that she expected to see +a number of Amelia's nephews and nieces. She was quite +disappointed that Mr. Sedley was not married; she was +sure Amelia had said he was, and she doted so on little +children. + +"I think you must have had enough of them at +Chiswick," said Amelia, rather wondering at the sudden +tenderness on her friend's part; and indeed in later days +Miss Sharp would never have committed herself so far +as to advance opinions, the untruth of which would have +been so easily detected. But we must remember that she +is but nineteen as yet, unused to the art of deceiving, +poor innocent creature! and making her own experience +in her own person. The meaning of the above series of +queries, as translated in the heart of this ingenious young +woman, was simply this: "If Mr. Joseph Sedley is rich +and unmarried, why should I not marry him? I have +only a fortnight, to be sure, but there is no harm in +trying." And she determined within herself to make this +laudable attempt. She redoubled her caresses to Amelia; +she kissed the white cornelian necklace as she put it +on; and vowed she would never, never part with it. When +the dinner-bell rang she went downstairs with her arm +round her friend's waist, as is the habit of young ladies. +She was so agitated at the drawing-room door, that she +could hardly find courage to enter. "Feel my heart, how +it beats, dear!" said she to her friend. + +"No, it doesn't," said Amelia. "Come in, don't be +frightened. Papa won't do you any harm." + + + +CHAPTER III + + +Rebecca Is in Presence of the Enemy + + A VERY stout, puffy man, in buckskins and Hessian +boots, with several immense neckcloths that rose almost +to his nose, with a red striped waistcoat and an apple +green coat with steel buttons almost as large as crown +pieces (it was the morning costume of a dandy or blood +of those days) was reading the paper by the fire when +the two girls entered, and bounced off his arm-chair, +and blushed excessively, and hid his entire face almost +in his neckcloths at this apparition. + +"It's only your sister, Joseph," said Amelia, laughing +and shaking the two fingers which he held out. "I've +come home FOR GOOD, you know; and this is my friend, +Miss Sharp, whom you have heard me mention." + +"No, never, upon my word," said the head under the +neckcloth, shaking very much--"that is, yes--what +abominably cold weather, Miss"--and herewith he fell +to poking the fire with all his might, although it was in the +middle of June. + +"He's very handsome," whispered Rebecca to Amelia, +rather loud. + +"Do you think so?" said the latter. "I'll tell him." + +"Darling! not for worlds," said Miss Sharp, starting +back as timid as a fawn. She had previously made a +respectful virgin-like curtsey to the gentleman, and her +modest eyes gazed so perseveringly on the carpet that it +was a wonder how she should have found an opportunity +to see him. + +"Thank you for the beautiful shawls, brother," said +Amelia to the fire poker. "Are they not beautiful, Rebecca?" + +"O heavenly!" said Miss Sharp, and her eyes went +from the carpet straight to the chandelier. + +Joseph still continued a huge clattering at the poker +and tongs, puffing and blowing the while, and turning +as red as his yellow face would allow him. "I can't +make you such handsome presents, Joseph," continued +his sister, "but while I was at school, I have embroidered +for you a very beautiful pair of braces." + +"Good Gad! Amelia," cried the brother, in serious +alarm, "what do you mean?" and plunging with all his +might at the bell-rope, that article of furniture came +away in his hand, and increased the honest fellow's +confusion. "For heaven's sake see if my buggy's at the +door. I CAN'T wait. I must go. D-- that groom of mine. +I must go." + +At this minute the father of the family walked in, +rattling his seals like a true British merchant. "What's +the matter, Emmy?" says he. + +"Joseph wants me to see if his--his buggy is at the +door. What is a buggy, Papa?" + +"It is a one-horse palanquin," said the old gentleman, +who was a wag in his way. + +Joseph at this burst out into a wild fit of laughter; +in which, encountering the eye of Miss Sharp, he stopped +all of a sudden, as if he had been shot. + +"This young lady is your friend? Miss Sharp, I am +very happy to see you. Have you and Emmy been +quarrelling already with Joseph, that he wants to be off?" + +"I promised Bonamy of our service, sir," said Joseph, +"to dine with him." + +"O fie! didn't you tell your mother you would dine +here?" + +"But in this dress it's impossible." + +"Look at him, isn't he handsome enough to dine +anywhere, Miss Sharp?" + +On which, of course, Miss Sharp looked at her friend, +and they both set off in a fit of laughter, highly +agreeable to the old gentleman. + +"Did you ever see a pair of buckskins like those at +Miss Pinkerton's?" continued he, following up his +advantage. + +"Gracious heavens! Father," cried Joseph. + +"There now, I have hurt his feelings. Mrs. Sedley, +my dear, I have hurt your son's feelings. I have alluded +to his buckskins. Ask Miss Sharp if I haven't? Come, +Joseph, be friends with Miss Sharp, and let us all go to +dinner." + +"There's a pillau, Joseph, just as you like it, and Papa +has brought home the best turbot in Billingsgate." + +"Come, come, sir, walk downstairs with Miss Sharp, +and I will follow with these two young women," said +the father, and he took an arm of wife and daughter +and walked merrily off. + +If Miss Rebecca Sharp had determined in her heart +upon making the conquest of this big beau, I don't +think, ladies, we have any right to blame her; for though +the task of husband-hunting is generally, and with +becoming modesty, entrusted by young persons to their +mammas, recollect that Miss Sharp had no kind parent +to arrange these delicate matters for her, and that if +she did not get a husband for herself, there was no one +else in the wide world who would take the trouble off +her hands. What causes young people to "come out," +but the noble ambition of matrimony? What sends them +trooping to watering-places? What keeps them dancing +till five o'clock in the morning through a whole mortal +season? What causes them to labour at pianoforte sonatas, +and to learn four songs from a fashionable master at a +guinea a lesson, and to play the harp if they have +handsome arms and neat elbows, and to wear Lincoln +Green toxophilite hats and feathers, but that they may bring +down some "desirable" young man with those killing bows +and arrows of theirs? What causes respectable parents +to take up their carpets, set their houses topsy-turvy, and +spend a fifth of their year's income in ball suppers and +iced champagne? Is it sheer love of their species, and +an unadulterated wish to see young people happy and +dancing? Psha! they want to marry their daughters; and, +as honest Mrs. Sedley has, in the depths of her kind +heart, already arranged a score of little schemes for the +settlement of her Amelia, so also had our beloved but +unprotected Rebecca determined to do her very best to +secure the husband, who was even more necessary for +her than for her friend. She had a vivid imagination; she +had, besides, read the Arabian Nights and Guthrie's +Geography; and it is a fact that while she was dressing for +dinner, and after she had asked Amelia whether her +brother was very rich, she had built for herself a most +magnificent castle in the air, of which she was mistress, +with a husband somewhere in the background (she had +not seen him as yet, and his figure would not therefore +be very distinct); she had arrayed herself in an infinity +of shawls, turbans, and diamond necklaces, and had +mounted upon an elephant to the sound of the march in +Bluebeard, in order to pay a visit of ceremony to the +Grand Mogul. Charming Alnaschar visions! it is the +happy privilege of youth to construct you, and many +a fanciful young creature besides Rebecca Sharp has +indulged in these delightful day-dreams ere now! + +Joseph Sedley was twelve years older than his sister +Amelia. He was in the East India Company's Civil +Service, and his name appeared, at the period of which +we write, in the Bengal division of the East India Register, +as collector of Boggley Wollah, an honourable and +lucrative post, as everybody knows: in order to know +to what higher posts Joseph rose in the service, the +reader is referred to the same periodical. + +Boggley Wollah is situated in a fine, lonely, marshy, +jungly district, famous for snipe-shooting, and where +not unfrequently you may flush a tiger. Ramgunge, where +there is a magistrate, is only forty miles off, and there +is a cavalry station about thirty miles farther; so Joseph +wrote home to his parents, when he took possession of +his collectorship. He had lived for about eight years of +his life, quite alone, at this charming place, scarcely +seeing a Christian face except twice a year, when the +detachment arrived to carry off the revenues which he +had collected, to Calcutta. + +Luckily, at this time he caught a liver complaint, for +the cure of which he returned to Europe, and which +was the source of great comfort and amusement to him +in his native country. He did not live with his family +while in London, but had lodgings of his own, like +a gay young bachelor. Before he went to India he was +too young to partake of the delightful pleasures of a +man about town, and plunged into them on his return +with considerable assiduity. He drove his horses in the +Park; he dined at the fashionable taverns (for the +Oriental Club was not as yet invented); he frequented +the theatres, as the mode was in those days, or made +his appearance at the opera, laboriously attired in tights +and a cocked hat. + +On returning to India, and ever after, he used to talk +of the pleasure of this period of his existence with great +enthusiasm, and give you to understand that he and +Brummel were the leading bucks of the day. But he was +as lonely here as in his jungle at Boggley Wollah. He +scarcely knew a single soul in the metropolis: and were +it not for his doctor, and the society of his blue-pill, +and his liver complaint, he must have died of loneliness. +He was lazy, peevish, and a bon-vivan; the appearance +of a lady frightened him beyond measure; hence it was +but seldom that he joined the paternal circle in Russell +Square, where there was plenty of gaiety, and where the +jokes of his good-natured old father frightened his +amour-propre. His bulk caused Joseph much anxious +thought and alarm; now and then he would make a +desperate attempt to get rid of his superabundant fat; +but his indolence and love of good living speedily got +the better of these endeavours at reform, and he found +himself again at his three meals a day. He never was +well dressed; but he took the hugest pains to adorn his +big person, and passed many hours daily in that occupation. +His valet made a fortune out of his wardrobe: his +toilet-table was covered with as many pomatums and +essences as ever were employed by an old beauty: he had +tried, in order to give himself a waist, every girth, stay, +and waistband then invented. Like most fat men, he +would have his clothes made too tight, and took care +they should be of the most brilliant colours and youthful +cut. When dressed at length, in the afternoon, he would +issue forth to take a drive with nobody in the Park; +and then would come back in order to dress again and +go and dine with nobody at the Piazza Coffee-House. +He was as vain as a girl; and perhaps his extreme +shyness was one of the results of his extreme vanity. If +Miss Rebecca can get the better of him, and at her first +entrance into life, she is a young person of no ordinary +cleverness. + +The first move showed considerable skill. When she +called Sedley a very handsome man, she knew that +Amelia would tell her mother, who would probably tell +Joseph, or who, at any rate, would be pleased by the +compliment paid to her son. All mothers are. If you +had told Sycorax that her son Caliban was as handsome +as Apollo, she would have been pleased, witch as she +was. Perhaps, too, Joseph Sedley would overhear the +compliment--Rebecca spoke loud enough--and he did +hear, and (thinking in his heart that he was a very fine +man) the praise thrilled through every fibre of his big +body, and made it tingle with pleasure. Then, however, +came a recoil. "Is the girl making fun of me?" he thought, +and straightway he bounced towards the bell, and was +for retreating, as we have seen, when his father's jokes +and his mother's entreaties caused him to pause and +stay where he was. He conducted the young lady down +to dinner in a dubious and agitated frame of mind. +"Does she really think I am handsome?" thought he, +"or is she only making game of me?" We have talked +of Joseph Sedley being as vain as a girl. Heaven help +us! the girls have only to turn the tables, and say +of one of their own sex, "She is as vain as a man," +and they will have perfect reason. The bearded creatures +are quite as eager for praise, quite as finikin over their +toilettes, quite as proud of their personal advantages, +quite as conscious of their powers of fascination, as +any coquette in the world. + +Downstairs, then, they went, Joseph very red and +blushing, Rebecca very modest, and holding her green +eyes downwards. She was dressed in white, with bare +shoulders as white as snow--the picture of youth, +unprotected innocence, and humble virgin simplicity. +"I must be very quiet," thought Rebecca, "and very much +interested about India." + +Now we have heard how Mrs. Sedley had prepared a +fine curry for her son, just as he liked it, and in the +course of dinner a portion of this dish was offered to +Rebecca. "What is it?" said she, turning an appealing +look to Mr. Joseph. + +"Capital," said he. His mouth was full of it: his face +quite red with the delightful exercise of gobbling. +"Mother, it's as good as my own curries in India." + +"Oh, I must try some, if it is an Indian dish," said +Miss Rebecca. "I am sure everything must be good that +comes from there." + +"Give Miss Sharp some curry, my dear," said Mr. +Sedley, laughing. + +Rebecca had never tasted the dish before. + +"Do you find it as good as everything else from India?" +said Mr. Sedley. + +"Oh, excellent!" said Rebecca, who was suffering +tortures with the cayenne pepper. + +"Try a chili with it, Miss Sharp," said Joseph, really +interested. + +"A chili," said Rebecca, gasping. "Oh yes!" She thought +a chili was something cool, as its name imported, +and was served with some. "How fresh and green they +look," she said, and put one into her mouth. It was +hotter than the curry; flesh and blood could bear it no +longer. She laid down her fork. "Water, for Heaven's +sake, water!" she cried. Mr. Sedley burst out laughing +(he was a coarse man, from the Stock Exchange, where +they love all sorts of practical jokes). "They are real +Indian, I assure you," said he. "Sambo, give Miss Sharp +some water." + +The paternal laugh was echoed by Joseph, who thought +the joke capital. The ladies only smiled a little. They +thought poor Rebecca suffered too much. She would have +liked to choke old Sedley, but she swallowed her +mortification as well as she had the abominable curry +before it, and as soon as she could speak, said, with a comical, +good-humoured air, "I ought to have remembered the +pepper which the Princess of Persia puts in the cream- +tarts in the Arabian Nights. Do you put cayenne into +your cream-tarts in India, sir?" + +Old Sedley began to laugh, and thought Rebecca +was a good-humoured girl. Joseph simply said, "Cream- +tarts, Miss? Our cream is very bad in Bengal. We +generally use goats' milk; and, 'gad, do you know, I've got +to prefer it!" + +"You won't like EVERYTHING from India now, Miss +Sharp," said the old gentleman; but when the ladies had +retired after dinner, the wily old fellow said to his son, +"Have a care, Joe; that girl is setting her cap at you." + +"Pooh! nonsense!" said Joe, highly flattered. "I recollect, +sir, there was a girl at Dumdum, a daughter of +Cutler of the Artillery, and afterwards married to Lance, +the surgeon, who made a dead set at me in the year +'4--at me and Mulligatawney, whom I mentioned to you +before dinner--a devilish good fellow Mulligatawney-- +he's a magistrate at Budgebudge, and sure to be in +council in five years. Well, sir, the Artillery gave a ball, +and Quintin, of the King's 14th, said to me, 'Sedley,' said +he, 'I bet you thirteen to ten that Sophy Cutler hooks +either you or Mulligatawney before the rains.' 'Done,' +says I; and egad, sir--this claret's very good. Adamson's +or Carbonell's?" + +A slight snore was the only reply: the honest stockbroker +was asleep, and so the rest of Joseph's story was lost +for that day. But he was always exceedingly +communicative in a man's party, and has told this +delightful tale many scores of times to his apothecary, +Dr. Gollop, when he came to inquire about the liver and +the blue-pill. + +Being an invalid, Joseph Sedley contented himself with +a bottle of claret besides his Madeira at dinner, and +he managed a couple of plates full of strawberries and +cream, and twenty-four little rout cakes that were lying +neglected in a plate near him, and certainly (for +novelists have the privilege of knowing everything) +he thought a great deal about the girl upstairs. "A nice, +gay, merry young creature," thought he to himself. "How +she looked at me when I picked up her handkerchief at +dinner! She dropped it twice. Who's that singing in the +drawing-room? 'Gad! shall I go up and see?" + +But his modesty came rushing upon him with +uncontrollable force. His father was asleep: his hat +was in the hall: there was a hackney-coach standing +hard by in Southampton Row. "I'll go and see the Forty +Thieves," said he, "and Miss Decamp's dance"; and he +slipped away gently on the pointed toes of his boots, and disappeared, without waking his worthy parent. + +"There goes Joseph," said Amelia, who was looking +from the open windows of the drawing-room, while +Rebecca was singing at the piano. + +"Miss Sharp has frightened him away," said Mrs. +Sedley. "Poor Joe, why WILL he be so shy?" + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +The Green Silk Purse + +Poor Joe's panic lasted for two or three days; during +which he did not visit the house, nor during that period +did Miss Rebecca ever mention his name. She was all +respectful gratitude to Mrs. Sedley; delighted beyond +measure at the Bazaars; and in a whirl of wonder at the +theatre, whither the good-natured lady took her. One +day, Amelia had a headache, and could not go upon some +party of pleasure to which the two young people were +invited: nothing could induce her friend to go without her. +"What! you who have shown the poor orphan what +happiness and love are for the first time in her life--quit +YOU? Never!" and the green eyes looked up to Heaven +and filled with tears; and Mrs. Sedley could not but own +that her daughter's friend had a charming kind heart +of her own. + +As for Mr. Sedley's jokes, Rebecca laughed at them +with a cordiality and perseverance which not a little +pleased and softened that good-natured gentleman. Nor +was it with the chiefs of the family alone that Miss +Sharp found favour. She interested Mrs. Blenkinsop by +evincing the deepest sympathy in the raspberry-jam +preserving, which operation was then going on in the +Housekeeper's room; she persisted in calling Sambo "Sir," +and "Mr. Sambo," to the delight of that attendant; and she +apologised to the lady's maid for giving her trouble in +venturing to ring the bell, with such sweetness and +humility, that the Servants' Hall was almost as charmed +with her as the Drawing Room. + +Once, in looking over some drawings which Amelia +had sent from school, Rebecca suddenly came upon one +which caused her to burst into tears and leave the room. +It was on the day when Joe Sedley made his second +appearance. + +Amelia hastened after her friend to know the cause +of this display of feeling, and the good-natured girl came +back without her companion, rather affected too. "You +know, her father was our drawing-master, Mamma, at +Chiswick, and used to do all the best parts of our drawings." + +"My love! I'm sure I always heard Miss Pinkerton say +that he did not touch them--he only mounted them." +"It was called mounting, Mamma. Rebecca remembers +the drawing, and her father working at it, and the +thought of it came upon her rather suddenly--and so, +you know, she--" + +"The poor child is all heart," said Mrs. Sedley. + +"I wish she could stay with us another week," said +Amelia. + +"She's devilish like Miss Cutler that I used to meet +at Dumdum, only fairer. She's married now to Lance, +the Artillery Surgeon. Do you know, Ma'am, that once +Quintin, of the 14th, bet me--" + +"0 Joseph, we know that story," said Amelia, laughing. +Never mind about telling that; but persuade Mamma +to write to Sir Something Crawley for leave of absence +for poor dear Rebecca: here she comes, her eyes red +with weeping." + +"I'm better, now," said the girl, with the sweetest smile +possible, taking good-natured Mrs. Sedley's extended hand +and kissing it respectfully. "How kind you all are to me! +All," she added, with a laugh, "except you, Mr. Joseph." + +"Me!" said Joseph, meditating an instant departure +"Gracious Heavens! Good Gad! Miss Sharp!' + +"Yes; how could you be so cruel as to make me eat +that horrid pepper-dish at dinner, the first day I ever +saw you? You are not so good to me as dear Amelia." + +"He doesn't know you so well," cried Amelia. + +"I defy anybody not to be good to you, my dear," +said her mother. + +"The curry was capital; indeed it was," said Joe, quite +gravely. "Perhaps there was NOT enough citron juice in +it--no, there was NOT." + +"And the chilis?" + +"By Jove, how they made you cry out!" said Joe, +caught by the ridicule of the circumstance, and +exploding in a fit of laughter which ended quite +suddenly, as usual. + +"I shall take care how I let YOU choose for me +another time," said Rebecca, as they went down +again to dinner. "I didn't think men were fond of +putting poor harmless girls to pain." + +"By Gad, Miss Rebecca, I wouldn't hurt you for the +world." + +"No," said she, "I KNOW you wouldn't"; and then she +gave him ever so gentle a pressure with her little hand, +and drew it back quite frightened, and looked first for +one instant in his face, and then down at the carpet- +rods; and I am not prepared to say that Joe's heart did +not thump at this little involuntary, timid, gentle motion +of regard on the part of the simple girl. + +It was an advance, and as such, perhaps, some ladies +of indisputable correctness and gentility will condemn the +action as immodest; but, you see, poor dear Rebecca +had all this work to do for herself. If a person is too +poor to keep a servant, though ever so elegant, he must +sweep his own rooms: if a dear girl has no dear Mamma +to settle matters with the young man, she must do it +for herself. And oh, what a mercy it is that these women +do not exercise their powers oftener! We can't resist +them, if they do. Let them show ever so little inclination, +and men go down on their knees at once: old or ugly, +it is all the same. And this I set down as a positive +truth. A woman with fair opportunities, and without an +absolute hump, may marry WHOM SHE LIKES. Only let us +be thankful that the darlings are like the beasts of the +field, and don't know their own power. They would +overcome us entirely if they did. + +"Egad!" thought Joseph, entering the dining-room, "I +exactly begin to feel as I did at Dumdum with Miss +Cutler." Many sweet little appeals, half tender, half +jocular, did Miss Sharp make to him about the dishes +at dinner; for by this time she was on a footing of +considerable familiarity with the family, and as for the +girls, they loved each other like sisters. Young unmarried +girls always do, if they are in a house together for ten +days. + +As if bent upon advancing Rebecca's plans in every +way--what must Amelia do, but remind her brother of +a promise made last Easter holidays--"When I was a +girl at school," said she, laughing--a promise that he, +Joseph, would take her to Vauxhall. "Now," she said, +"that Rebecca is with us, will be the very time." + +"O, delightful!" said Rebecca, going to clap her hands; +but she recollected herself, and paused, like a modest +creature, as she was. + +"To-night is not the night," said Joe. + +"Well, to-morrow." + +"To-morrow your Papa and I dine out," said Mrs. +Sedley. + +"You don't suppose that I'm going, Mrs. Sed?" said +her husband, "and that a woman of your years and size +is to catch cold, in such an abominable damp place?" + +'The children must have someone with them," cried +Mrs. Sedley. + +"Let Joe go," said-his father, laughing. "He's big +enough." At which speech even Mr. Sambo at the +sideboard burst out laughing, and poor fat Joe felt +inclined to become a parricide almost. + +"Undo his stays!" continued the pitiless old gentleman. +"Fling some water in his face, Miss Sharp, or carry him +upstairs: the dear creature's fainting. Poor victim! carry +him up; he's as light as a feather!" + +"If I stand this, sir, I'm d--!" roared Joseph. + +"Order Mr. Jos's elephant, Sambo!" cried the father. +"Send to Exeter 'Change, Sambo"; but seeing Jos ready +almost to cry with vexation, the old joker stopped his +laughter, and said, holding out his hand to his son, "It's +all fair on the Stock Exchange, Jos--and, Sambo, never +mind the elephant, but give me and Mr. Jos a glass of +Champagne. Boney himself hasn't got such in his cellar, +my boy!" + +A goblet of Champagne restored Joseph's equanimity, +and before the bottle was emptied, of which as an invalid +he took two-thirds, he had agreed to take the young +ladies to Vauxhall. + +"The girls must have a gentleman apiece," said the old +gentleman. "Jos will be sure to leave Emmy in the crowd, +he will be so taken up with Miss Sharp here. Send to 96, +and ask George Osborne if he'll come." + +At this, I don't know in the least for what reason, +Mrs. Sedley looked at her husband and laughed. Mr. +Sedley's eyes twinkled in a manner indescribably +roguish, and he looked at Amelia; and Amelia, hanging +down her head, blushed as only young ladies of seventeen +know how to blush, and as Miss Rebecca Sharp never +blushed in her life--at least not since she was eight +years old, and when she was caught stealing jam out of +a cupboard by her godmother. "Amelia had better write +a note," said her father; "and let George Osborne see +what a beautiful handwriting we have brought back from +Miss Pinkerton's. Do you remember when you wrote to +him to come on Twelfth-night, Emmy, and spelt twelfth +without the f?" + +"That was years ago," said Amelia. + +"It seems like yesterday, don't it, John?" said Mrs. +Sedley to her husband; and that night in a conversation +which took place in a front room in the second floor, +in a sort of tent, hung round with chintz of a rich and +fantastic India pattern, and double with calico of a +tender rose-colour; in the interior of which species of +marquee was a featherbed, on which were two pillows, +on which were two round red faces, one in a laced +nightcap, and one in a simple cotton one, ending in a tassel +--in A CURTAIN LECTURE, I say, Mrs. Sedley took her +husband to task for his cruel conduct to poor Joe. + +"It was quite wicked of you, Mr. Sedley," said she, +"to torment the poor boy so." + +"My dear," said the cotton-tassel in defence of his +conduct, "Jos is a great deal vainer than you ever were +in your life, and that's saying a good deal. Though, some +thirty years ago, in the year seventeen hundred and +eighty--what was it?--perhaps you had a right to be +vain--I don't say no. But I've no patience with Jos and +his dandified modesty. It is out-Josephing Joseph, my dear, +and all the while the boy is only thinking of himself, +and what a fine fellow he is. I doubt, Ma'am, we shall +have some trouble with him yet. Here is Emmy's little +friend making love to him as hard as she can; that's +quite clear; and if she does not catch him some other +will. That man is destined to be a prey to woman, as +I am to go on 'Change every day. It's a mercy he did +not bring us over a black daughter-in-law, my dear. But, +mark my words, the first woman who fishes for him, +hooks him." + +"She shall go off to-morrow, the little artful creature," +said Mrs. Sedley, with great energy. + +"Why not she as well as another, Mrs. Sedley? The +girl's a white face at any rate. I don't care who marries +him. Let Joe please himself." + +And presently the voices of the two speakers were +hushed, or were replaced by the gentle but unromantic +music of the nose; and save when the church bells +tolled the hour and the watchman called it, all was +silent at the house of John Sedley, Esquire, of Russell +Square, and the Stock Exchange. + +When morning came, the good-natured Mrs. Sedley no +longer thought of executing her threats with regard to +Miss Sharp; for though nothing is more keen, nor more +common, nor more justifiable, than maternal jealousy, +yet she could not bring herself to suppose that the little, +humble, grateful, gentle governess would dare to look +up to such a magnificent personage as the Collector of +Boggley Wollah. The petition, too, for an extension of +the young lady's leave of absence had already been +despatched, and it would be difficult to find a pretext for +abruptly dismissing her. + +And as if all things conspired in favour of the gentle +Rebecca, the very elements (although she was not +inclined at first to acknowledge their action in her behalf) +interposed to aid her. For on the evening appointed for +the Vauxhall party, George Osborne having come to +dinner, and the elders of the house having departed, +according to invitation, to dine with Alderman Balls at +Highbury Barn, there came on such a thunder-storm as only +happens on Vauxhall nights, and as obliged the young +people, perforce, to remain at home. Mr. Osborne did +not seem in the least disappointed at this occurrence. +He and Joseph Sedley drank a fitting quantity of +port-wine, tete-a-tete, in the dining-room, during the +drinking of which Sedley told a number of his best Indian +stories; for he was extremely talkative in man's society; +and afterwards Miss Amelia Sedley did the honours of +the drawing-room; and these four young persons passed +such a comfortable evening together, that they declared +they were rather glad of the thunder-storm than +otherwise, which had caused them to put off their +visit to Vauxhall. + +Osborne was Sedley's godson, and had been one of the +family any time these three-and-twenty years. At six +weeks old, he had received from John Sedley a present +of a silver cup; at six months old, a coral with gold +whistle and bells; from his youth upwards he was +"tipped" regularly by the old gentleman at Christmas: +and on going back to school, he remembered perfectly +well being thrashed by Joseph Sedley, when the latter +was a big, swaggering hobbadyhoy, and George an +impudent urchin of ten years old. In a word, George was +as familiar with the family as such daily acts of +kindness and intercourse could make him. + +"Do you remember, Sedley, what a fury you were in, +when I cut off the tassels of your Hessian boots, and +how Miss--hem!--how Amelia rescued me from a +beating, by falling down on her knees and crying out to +her brother Jos, not to beat little George?" + +Jos remembered this remarkable circumstance +perfectly well, but vowed that he had totally +forgotten it. + +"Well, do you remember coming down in a gig to Dr. +Swishtail's to see me, before you went to India, and +giving me half a guinea and a pat on the head? I always +had an idea that you were at least seven feet high, and +was quite astonished at your return from India to find +you no taller than myself." + +"How good of Mr. Sedley to go to your school and +give you the money!" exclaimed Rebecca, in accents of +extreme delight. + +"Yes, and after I had cut the tassels of his boots too. +Boys never forget those tips at school, nor the givers." + +"I delight in Hessian boots," said Rebecca. Jos Sedley, +who admired his own legs prodigiously, and always +wore this ornamental chaussure, was extremely pleased +at this remark, though he drew his legs under his chair +as it was made. + +"Miss Sharp!" said George Osborne, "you who are +so clever an artist, you must make a grand historical +picture of the scene of the boots. Sedley shall be +represented in buckskins, and holding one of the +injured boots in one hand; by the other he shall have +hold of my shirt-frill. Amelia shall be kneeling near him, +with her little hands up; and the picture shall have a +grand allegorical title, as the frontispieces have in the +Medulla and the spelling-book." + +"I shan't have time to do it here," said Rebecca. 'I'll +do it when--when I'm gone." And she dropped her voice, +and looked so sad and piteous, that everybody felt how +cruel her lot was, and how sorry they would be to +part with her. + +"O that you could stay longer, dear Rebecca," said +Amelia. + +"Why?" answered the other, still more sadly. "That +I may be only the more unhap--unwilling to lose you?" +And she turned away her head. Amelia began to give +way to that natural infirmity of tears which, we have +said, was one of the defects of this silly little thing. George +Osborne looked at the two young women with a touched +curiosity; and Joseph Sedley heaved something very like +a sigh out of his big chest, as he cast his eyes down +towards his favourite Hessian boots. + +"Let us have some music, Miss Sedley--Amelia," said +George, who felt at that moment an extraordinary, +almost irresistible impulse to seize the above-mentioned +young woman in his arms, and to kiss her in the face of +the company; and she looked at him for a moment, and +if I should say that they fell in love with each other at +that single instant of time, I should perhaps be telling +an untruth, for the fact is that these two young people +had been bred up by their parents for this very purpose, +and their banns had, as it were, been read in their +respective families any time these ten years. They went +off to the piano, which was situated, as pianos usually +are, in the back drawing-room; and as it was rather dark, +Miss Amelia, in the most unaffected way in the world, +put her hand into Mr. Osborne's, who, of course, could +see the way among the chairs and ottomans a great deal +better than she could. But this arrangement left Mr. +Joseph Sedley tete-a-tete with Rebecca, at the +drawing-room table, where the latter was occupied +in knitting a green silk purse. + +"There is no need to ask family secrets," said Miss +Sharp. "Those two have told theirs." + +"As soon as he gets his company," said Joseph, "I +believe the affair is settled. George Osborne is a capital +fellow." + +"And your sister the dearest creature in the world," +said Rebecca. "Happy the man who wins her!" With +this, Miss Sharp gave a great sigh. + +When two unmarried persons get together, and talk +upon such delicate subjects as the present, a great deal +of confidence and intimacy is presently established +between them. There is no need of giving a special report +of the conversation which now took place between Mr. +Sedley and the young lady; for the conversation, as may +be judged from the foregoing specimen, was not especially +witty or eloquent; it seldom is in private societies, or +anywhere except in very high-flown and ingenious novels. +As there was music in the next room, the talk was +carried on, of course, in a low and becoming tone, though, +for the matter of that, the couple in the next apartment +would not have been disturbed had the talking been ever +so loud, so occupied were they with their own pursuits. + +Almost for the first time in his life, Mr. Sedley found +himself talking, without the least timidity or hesitation, +to a person of the other sex. Miss Rebecca asked him a +great number of questions about India, which gave him +an opportunity of narrating many interesting anecdotes +about that country and himself. He described the balls +at Government House, and the manner in which they +kept themselves cool in the hot weather, with punkahs, +tatties, and other contrivances; and he was very witty +regarding the number of Scotchmen whom Lord Minto, +the Governor-General, patronised; and then he described +a tiger-hunt; and the manner in which the mahout of his +elephant had been pulled off his seat by one of the +infuriated animals. How delighted Miss Rebecca was at +the Government balls, and how she laughed at the stories +of the Scotch aides-de-camp, and called Mr. Sedley a +sad wicked satirical creature; and how frightened she was +Joseph Sedley tete-a-tete with Rebecca, at the +drawing-room table, where the latter was occupied +in knitting a green silk purse. + +"There is no need to ask family secrets," said Miss +Sharp. "Those two have told theirs." + +"As soon as he gets his company," said Joseph, "I +believe the affair is settled. George Osborne is a capital +fellow." + +"And your sister the dearest creature in the world," +said Rebecca. "Happy the man who wins her!" With +this, Miss Sharp gave a great sigh. + +When two unmarried persons get together, and talk +upon such delicate subjects as the present, a great deal +of confidence and intimacy is presently established +between them. There is no need of giving a special report +of the conversation which now took place between Mr. +Sedley and the young lady; for the conversation, as may +be judged from the foregoing specimen, was not especially +witty or eloquent; it seldom is in private societies, or +anywhere except in very high-flown and ingenious novels. +As there was music in the next room, the talk was +carried on, of course, in a low and becoming tone, though, +for the matter of that, the couple in the next apartment +would not have been disturbed had the talking been ever +so loud, so occupied were they with their own pursuits. + +Almost for the first time in his life, Mr. Sedley found +himself talking, without the least timidity or hesitation, +to a person of the other sex. Miss Rebecca asked him a +great number of questions about India, which gave him +an opportunity of narrating many interesting anecdotes +about that country and himself. He described the balls +at Government House, and the manner in which they +kept themselves cool in the hot weather, with punkahs, +tatties, and other contrivances; and he was very witty +regarding the number of Scotchmen whom Lord Minto, +the Governor-General, patronised; and then he described +a tiger-hunt; and the manner in which the mahout of his +elephant had been pulled off his seat by one of the +infuriated animals. How delighted Miss Rebecca was at +the Government balls, and how she laughed at the stories +of the Scotch aides-de-camp, and called Mr. Sedley a +sad wicked satirical creature; and how frightened she was +at the story of the elephant! "For your mother's sake, +dear Mr. Sedley," she said, "for the sake of all your +friends, promise NEVER to go on one of those horrid +expeditions." + +"Pooh, pooh, Miss Sharp," said he, pulling up his shirt- +collars; "the danger makes the sport only the pleasanter." +He had never been but once at a tiger-hunt, when the +accident in question occurred, and when he was half +killed--not by the tiger, but by the fright. And as he +talked on, he grew quite bold, and actually had the +audacity to ask Miss Rebecca for whom she was +knitting the green silk purse? He was quite surprised +and delighted at his own graceful familiar manner. + +"For any one who wants a purse," replied Miss +Rebecca, looking at him in the most gentle winning way. +Sedley was going to make one of the most eloquent +speeches possible, and had begun--"O Miss Sharp, +how--" when some song which was performed in the +other room came to an end, and caused him to hear +his own voice so distinctly that he stopped, blushed, and +blew his nose in great agitation. + +"Did you ever hear anything like your brother's +eloquence?" whispered Mr. Osborne to Amelia. "Why, +your friend has worked miracles." + +"The more the better," said Miss Amelia; who, like +almost all women who are worth a pin, was a match- +maker in her heart, and would have been delighted that +Joseph should carry back a wife to India. She had, too, +in the course of this few days' constant intercourse, +warmed into a most tender friendship for Rebecca, and +discovered a million of virtues and amiable qualities in +her which she had not perceived when they were at +Chiswick together. For the affection of young ladies is +of as rapid growth as Jack's bean-stalk, and reaches up +to the sky in a night. It is no blame to them that after +marriage this Sehnsucht nach der Liebe subsides. It is +what sentimentalists, who deal in very big words, call a +yearning after the Ideal, and simply means that women +are commonly not satisfied until they have husbands +and children on whom they may centre affections, which +are spent elsewhere, as it were, in small change. + +Having expended her little store of songs, or having +stayed long enough in the back drawing-room, it now +appeared proper to Miss Amelia to ask her friend to +sing. "You would not have listened to me," she said to +Mr. Osborne (though she knew she was telling a fib), +"had you heard Rebecca first." + +"I give Miss Sharp warning, though," said Osborne, +"that, right or wrong, I consider Miss Amelia Sedley +the first singer in the world." + +"You shall hear," said Amelia; and Joseph Sedley was +actually polite enough to carry the candles to the piano. +Osborne hinted that he should like quite as well to sit +in the dark; but Miss Sedley, laughing, declined to bear +him company any farther, and the two accordingly +followed Mr. Joseph. Rebecca sang far better than her +friend (though of course Osborne was free to keep his +opinion), and exerted herself to the utmost, and, +indeed, to the wonder of Amelia, who had never known +her perform so well. She sang a French song, which +Joseph did not understand in the least, and which George +confessed he did not understand, and then a number of +those simple ballads which were the fashion forty years +ago, and in which British tars, our King, poor Susan, +blue-eyed Mary, and the like, were the principal themes. +They are not, it is said, very brilliant, in a musical point +of view, but contain numberless good-natured, simple +appeals to the affections, which people understood better +than the milk-and-water lagrime, sospiri, and felicita +of the eternal Donizettian music with which we are +favoured now-a-days. + +Conversation of a sentimental sort, befitting the +subject, was carried on between the songs, to which +Sambo, after he had brought the tea, the delighted cook, +and even Mrs. Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, condescended +to listen on the landing-place. + +Among these ditties was one, the last of the concert, +and to the following effect: + +Ah! bleak and barren was the moor, +Ah! loud and piercing was the storm, +The cottage roof was shelter'd sure, +The cottage hearth was bright and warm-- +An orphan boy the lattice pass'd, +And, as he mark'd its cheerful glow, +Felt doubly keen the midnight blast, +And doubly cold the fallen snow. + +They mark'd him as he onward prest, +With fainting heart and weary limb; +Kind voices bade him turn and rest, +And gentle faces welcomed him. +The dawn is up--the guest is gone, +The cottage hearth is blazing still; +Heaven pity all poor wanderers lone! +Hark to the wind upon the hill! + +It was the sentiment of the before-mentioned words, +"When I'm gone," over again. As she came to the last +words, Miss Sharp's "deep-toned voice faltered." +Everybody felt the allusion to her departure, and to her +hapless orphan state. Joseph Sedley, who was fond of music, +and soft-hearted, was in a state of ravishment during the +performance of the song, and profoundly touched at its +conclusion. If he had had the courage; if George and Miss +Sedley had remained, according to the former's proposal, +in the farther room, Joseph Sedley's bachelorhood would +have been at an end, and this work would never have +been written. But at the close of the ditty, Rebecca quitted +the piano, and giving her hand to Amelia, walked away +into the front drawing-room twilight; and, at this +moment, Mr. Sambo made his appearance with a tray, +containing sandwiches, jellies, and some glittering glasses +and decanters, on which Joseph Sedley's attention was +immediately fixed. When the parents of the house of Sedley +returned from their dinner-party, they found the young +people so busy in talking, that they had not heard the +arrival of the carriage, and Mr. Joseph was in the act of +saying, "My dear Miss Sharp, one little teaspoonful of +jelly to recruit you after your immense--your--your +delightful exertions." + +"Bravo, Jos!" said Mr. Sedley; on hearing the bantering +of which well-known voice, Jos instantly relapsed +into an alarmed silence, and quickly took his departure. +He did not lie awake all night thinking whether or not he +was in love with Miss Sharp; the passion of love never +interfered with the appetite or the slumber of Mr. Joseph +Sedley; but he thought to himself how delightful it would +be to hear such songs as those after Cutcherry--what a +distinguee girl she was--how she could speak French +better than the Governor-General's lady herself--and +what a sensation she would make at the Calcutta balls. +"It's evident the poor devil's in love with me," thought +he. "She is just as rich as most of the girls who come +out to India. I might go farther, and fare worse, egad!" +And in these meditations he fell asleep. + +How Miss Sharp lay awake, thinking, will he come or +not to-morrow? need not be told here. To-morrow came, +and, as sure as fate, Mr. Joseph Sedley made his +appearance before luncheon. He had never been known +before to confer such an honour on Russell Square. George +Osborne was somehow there already (sadly "putting out" +Amelia, who was writing to her twelve dearest friends at +Chiswick Mall), and Rebecca was employed upon her +yesterday's work. As Joe's buggy drove up, and while, after +his usual thundering knock and pompous bustle at the +door, the ex-Collector of Boggley Wollah laboured up +stairs to the drawing-room, knowing glances were +telegraphed between Osborne and Miss Sedley, and the pair, +smiling archly, looked at Rebecca, who actually blushed +as she bent her fair ringlets over her knitting. How her +heart beat as Joseph appeared--Joseph, puffing from the +staircase in shining creaking boots--Joseph, in a new +waistcoat, red with heat and nervousness, and blushing +behind his wadded neckcloth. It was a nervous moment +for all; and as for Amelia, I think she was more frightened +than even the people most concerned. + +Sambo, who flung open the door and announced Mr. +Joseph, followed grinning, in the Collector's rear, and +bearing two handsome nosegays of flowers, which the +monster had actually had the gallantry to purchase in +Covent Garden Market that morning--they were not as +big as the haystacks which ladies carry about with them +now-a-days, in cones of filigree paper; but the young +women were delighted with the gift, as Joseph presented +one to each, with an exceedingly solemn bow. + +"Bravo, Jos!" cried Osborne. + +"Thank you, dear Joseph," said Amelia, quite ready to +kiss her brother, if he were so minded. (And I think for +a kiss from such a dear creature as Amelia, I would +purchase all Mr. Lee's conservatories out of hand.) + +"O heavenly, heavenly flowers!" exclaimed Miss Sharp, +and smelt them delicately, and held them to her bosom, +and cast up her eyes to the ceiling, in an ecstasy of +admiration. Perhaps she just looked first into the bouquet, +to see whether there was a billet-doux hidden among the +flowers; but there was no letter. + +"Do they talk the language of flowers at Boggley +Wollah, Sedley?" asked Osborne, laughing. + +"Pooh, nonsense!" replied the sentimental youth. +"Bought 'em at Nathan's; very glad you like 'em; and eh, +Amelia, my dear, I bought a pine-apple at the same +time, which I gave to Sambo. Let's have it for tiffin; +very cool and nice this hot weather." Rebecca said she +had never tasted a pine, and longed beyond everything +to taste one. + +So the conversation went on. I don't know on what +pretext Osborne left the room, or why, presently, Amelia +went away, perhaps to superintend the slicing of the +pine-apple; but Jos was left alone with Rebecca, who had +resumed her work, and the green silk and the shining +needles were quivering rapidly under her white slender +fingers. + +"What a beautiful, BYOO-OOTIFUL song that was you sang +last night, dear Miss Sharp," said the Collector. "It made +me cry almost; 'pon my honour it did." + +"Because you have a kind heart, Mr. Joseph; all the +Sedleys have, I think." + +"It kept me awake last night, and I was trying to hum +it this morning, in bed; I was, upon my honour. Gollop, +my doctor, came in at eleven (for I'm a sad invalid, you +know, and see Gollop every day), and, 'gad! there I +was, singing away like--a robin." + +"O you droll creature! Do let me hear you sing it." + +"Me? No, you, Miss Sharp; my dear Miss Sharp, do +sing it. + +"Not now, Mr. Sedley," said Rebecca, with a sigh. "My +spirits are not equal to it; besides, I must finish the +purse. Will you help me, Mr. Sedley?" And before he had +time to ask how, Mr. Joseph Sedley, of the East India +Company's service, was actually seated tete-a-tete with +a young lady, looking at her with a most killing expression; +his arms stretched out before her in an imploring attitude, +and his hands bound in a web of green silk, which she +was unwinding. + +In this romantic position Osborne and Amelia found +the interesting pair, when they entered to announce that +tiffin was ready. The skein of silk was just wound round +the card; but Mr. Jos had never spoken. + +"I am sure he will to-night, dear," Amelia said, as she +pressed Rebecca's hand; and Sedley, too, had communed +with his soul, and said to himself, " 'Gad, I'll pop the +question at Vauxhall." + + + +CHAPTER V + + +Dobbin of Ours + +Cuff's fight with Dobbin, and the unexpected issue of +that contest, will long be remembered by every man who +was educated at Dr. Swishtail's famous school. The latter +Youth (who used to be called Heigh-ho Dobbin, Gee-ho +Dobbin, and by many other names indicative of puerile +contempt) was the quietest, the clumsiest, and, as it +seemed, the dullest of all Dr. Swishtail's young gentlemen. +His parent was a grocer in the city: and it was bruited +abroad that he was admitted into Dr. Swishtail's academy +upon what are called "mutual principles"--that is to +say, the expenses of his board and schooling were +defrayed by his father in goods, not money; and he +stood there--most at the bottom of the school--in his +scraggy corduroys and jacket, through the seams of +which his great big bones were bursting--as the +representative of so many pounds of tea, candles, +sugar, mottled-soap, plums (of which a very mild +proportion was supplied for the puddings of the +establishment), and other commodities. A dreadful +day it was for young Dobbin when one of the +youngsters of the school, having run into the town upon +a poaching excursion for hardbake and polonies, espied +the cart of Dobbin & Rudge, Grocers and Oilmen, Thames +Street, London, at the Doctor's door, discharging a cargo +of the wares in which the firm dealt. + +Young Dobbin had no peace after that. The jokes were +frightful, and merciless against him. "Hullo, Dobbin," one +wag would say, "here's good news in the paper. Sugars +is ris', my boy." Another would set a sum--"If a pound +of mutton-candles cost sevenpence-halfpenny, how much +must Dobbin cost?" and a roar would follow from all the +circle of young knaves, usher and all, who rightly +considered that the selling of goods by retail is a shameful +and infamous practice, meriting the contempt and scorn +of all real gentlemen. + +"Your father's only a merchant, Osborne," Dobbin said +in private to the little boy who had brought down the +storm upon him. At which the latter replied haughtily, +"My father's a gentleman, and keeps his carriage"; and +Mr. William Dobbin retreated to a remote outhouse in +the playground, where he passed a half-holiday in the +bitterest sadness and woe. Who amongst us is there that +does not recollect similar hours of bitter, bitter childish +grief? Who feels injustice; who shrinks before a slight; +who has a sense of wrong so acute, and so glowing a +gratitude for kindness, as a generous boy? and how many +of those gentle souls do you degrade, estrange, torture, +for the sake of a little loose arithmetic, and miserable +dog-latin? + +Now, William Dobbin, from an incapacity to acquire +the rudiments of the above language, as they are +propounded in that wonderful book the Eton Latin Grammar, +was compelled to remain among the very last of Doctor +Swishtail's scholars, and was "taken down" continually by +little fellows with pink faces and pinafores when he +marched up with the lower form, a giant amongst them, +with his downcast, stupefied look, his dog's-eared primer, +and his tight corduroys. High and low, all made fun of +him. They sewed up those corduroys, tight as they were. +They cut his bed-strings. They upset buckets and benches, +so that he might break his shins over them, which he +never failed to do. They sent him parcels, which, when +opened, were found to contain the paternal soap and +candles. There was no little fellow but had his jeer and +joke at Dobbin; and he bore everything quite patiently, +and was entirely dumb and miserable. + +Cuff, on the contrary, was the great chief and dandy of +the Swishtail Seminary. He smuggled wine in. He fought +the town-boys. Ponies used to come for him to ride home +on Saturdays. He had his top-boots in his room, in which +he used to hunt in the holidays. He had a gold repeater: +and took snuff like the Doctor. He had been to the Opera, +and knew the merits of the principal actors, preferring +Mr. Kean to Mr. Kemble. He could knock you off forty +Latin verses in an hour. He could make French poetry. +What else didn't he know, or couldn't he do? They said +even the Doctor himself was afraid of him. + +Cuff, the unquestioned king of the school, ruled over +his subjects, and bullied them, with splendid superiority. +This one blacked his shoes: that toasted his bread, others +would fag out, and give him balls at cricket during whole +summer afternoons. "Figs" was the fellow whom he +despised most, and with whom, though always abusing him, +and sneering at him, he scarcely ever condescended to +hold personal communication. + +One day in private, the two young gentlemen had had +a difference. Figs, alone in the schoolroom, was +blundering over a home letter; when Cuff, entering, +bade him go upon some message, of which tarts were +probably the subject. + +"I can't," says Dobbin; "I want to finish my letter." + +"You CAN'T?" says Mr. Cuff, laying hold of that +document (in which many words were scratched out, +many were mis-spelt, on which had been spent I don't +know how much thought, and labour, and tears; for the +poor fellow was writing to his mother, who was fond of +him, although she was a grocer's wife, and lived in a back +parlour in Thames Street). "You CAN'T?" says Mr. Cuff: +"I should like to know why, pray? Can't you write to old +Mother Figs to-morrow?" + +"Don't call names," Dobbin said, getting off the bench +very nervous. + +"Well, sir, will you go?" crowed the cock of the school. + +"Put down the letter," Dobbin replied; "no gentleman +readth letterth." + +"Well, NOW will you go?" says the other. + +"No, I won't. Don't strike, or I'll THMASH you," roars +out Dobbin, springing to a leaden inkstand, and looking +so wicked, that Mr. Cuff paused, turned down his coat +sleeves again, put his hands into his pockets, and walked +away with a sneer. But he never meddled.personally with +the grocer's boy after that; though we must do him the +justice to say he always spoke of Mr. Dobbin with con- +tempt behind his back. + +Some time after this interview, it happened that Mr. +Cuff, on a sunshiny afternoon, was in the neighbourhood +of poor William Dobbin, who was lying under a tree in +the playground, spelling over a favourite copy of the +Arabian Nights which he had apart from the rest of the +school, who were pursuing their various sports--quite +lonely, and almost happy. If people would but leave +children to themselves; if teachers would cease to bully +them; if parents would not insist upon directing their +thoughts, and dominating their feelings--those feelings +and thoughts which are a mystery to all (for how much +do you and I know of each other, of our children, of our +fathers, of our neighbour, and how far more beautiful and +sacred are the thoughts of the poor lad or girl whom you +govern likely to be, than those of the dull and world- +corrupted person who rules him?)--if, I say, parents and +masters would leave their children alone a little more, +small harm would accrue, although a less quantity of +as in praesenti might be acquired. + +Well, William Dobbin had for once forgotten the world, +and was away with Sindbad the Sailor in the Valley of +Diamonds, or with Prince Ahmed and the Fairy Peribanou +in that delightful cavern where the Prince found her, and +whither we should all like to make a tour; when shrill +cries, as of a little fellow weeping, woke up his pleasant +reverie; and looking up, he saw Cuff before him, +belabouring a little boy. + +It was the lad who had peached upon him about the +grocer's cart; but he bore little malice, not at least +towards the young and small. "How dare you, sir, break +the bottle?" says Cuff to the little urchin, swinging a +yellow cricket-stump over him. + +The boy had been instructed to get over the playground +wall (at a selected spot where the broken glass had been +removed from the top, and niches made convenient in +the brick); to run a quarter of a mile; to purchase a pint +of rum-shrub on credit; to brave all the Doctor's outlying +spies, and to clamber back into the playground again; +during the performance of which feat, his foot had slipt, +and the bottle was broken, and the shrub had been spilt, +and his pantaloons had been damaged, and he appeared +before his employer a perfectly guilty and trembling, +though harmless, wretch. + +"How dare you, sir, break it?" says Cuff; "you blundering +little thief. You drank the shrub, and now you pretend +to have broken the bottle. Hold out your hand, sir." + +Down came the stump with a great heavy thump on +the child's hand. A moan followed. Dobbin looked up. +The Fairy Peribanou had fled into the inmost cavern +with Prince Ahmed: the Roc had whisked away Sindbad +the Sailor out of the Valley of Diamonds out of sight, far +into the clouds: and there was everyday life before +honest William; and a big boy beating a little one +without cause. + +"Hold out your other hand, sir," roars Cuff to his little +schoolfellow, whose face was distorted with pain. +Dobbin quivered, and gathered himself up in his narrow old +clothes. + +"Take that, you little devil!" cried Mr. Cuff, and down +came the wicket again on the child's hand.--Don't be +horrified, ladies, every boy at a public school has done it. +Your children will so do and be done by, in all +probability. Down came the wicket again; and Dobbin +started up. + +I can't tell what his motive was. Torture in a public +school is as much licensed as the knout in Russia. It +would be ungentlemanlike (in a manner) to resist it. +Perhaps Dobbin's foolish soul revolted against that exercise +of tyranny; or perhaps he had a hankering feeling of +revenge in his mind, and longed to measure himself +against that splendid bully and tyrant, who had all the +glory, pride, pomp, circumstance, banners flying, drums +beating, guards saluting, in the place. Whatever may have +been his incentive, however, up he sprang, and screamed +out, "Hold off, Cuff; don't bully that child any more; or +I'll--" + +"Or you'll what?" Cuff asked in amazement at this +interruption. "Hold out your hand, you little beast." + +"I'll give you the worst thrashing you ever had in your +life," Dobbin said, in reply to the first part of Cuff's +sentence; and little Osborne, gasping and in tears, looked +up with wonder and incredulity at seeing this amazing +champion put up suddenly to defend him: while Cuff's +astonishment was scarcely less. Fancy our late monarch +George III when he heard of the revolt of the North +American colonies: fancy brazen Goliath when little +David stepped forward and claimed a meeting; and you +have the feelings of Mr. Reginald Cuff when this +rencontre was proposed to him. + +"After school," says he, of course; after a pause and a +look, as much as to say, "Make your will, and +communicate your last wishes to your friends +between this time and that." + +"As you please," Dobbin said. "You must be my bottle +holder, Osborne." + +"Well, if you like," little Osborne replied; for you see +his papa kept a carriage, and he was rather ashamed of +his champion. + +Yes, when the hour of battle came, he was almost +ashamed to say, "Go it, Figs"; and not a single other boy +in the place uttered that cry for the first two or three +rounds of this famous combat; at the commencement of +which the scientific Cuff, with a contemptuous smile on +his face, and as light and as gay as if he was at a ball, +planted his blows upon his adversary, and floored that +unlucky champion three times running. At each fall there +was a cheer; and everybody was anxious to have the +honour of offering the conqueror a knee. + +"What a licking I shall get when it's over," young +Osborne thought, picking up his man. "You'd best give in," +he said to Dobbin; "it's only a thrashing, Figs, and you +know I'm used to it." But Figs, all whose limbs were in a +quiver, and whose nostrils were breathing rage, put his +little bottle-holder aside, and went in for a fourth time. + +As he did not in the least know how to parry the blows +that were aimed at himself, and Cuff had begun the +attack on the three preceding occasions, without ever +allowing his enemy to strike, Figs now determined that he +would commence the engagement by a charge on his own +part; and accordingly, being a left-handed man, brought +that arm into action, and hit out a couple of times with +all his might--once at Mr. Cuff's left eye, and once on his +beautiful Roman nose. + +Cuff went down this time, to the astonishment of the +assembly. "Well hit, by Jove," says little Osborne, with +the air of a connoisseur, clapping his man on the back. +"Give it him with the left, Figs my boy." + +Figs's left made terrific play during all the rest of the +combat. Cuff went down every time. At the sixth round, +there were almost as many fellows shouting out, "Go it, +Figs," as there were youths exclaiming, "Go it, Cuff." At +the twelfth round the latter champion was all abroad, as +the saying is, and had lost all presence of mind and power +of attack or defence. Figs, on the contrary, was as calm +as a quaker. His face being quite pale, his eyes shining +open, and a great cut on his underlip bleeding profusely, +gave this young fellow a fierce and ghastly air, which +perhaps struck terror into many spectators. Nevertheless, +his intrepid adversary prepared to close for the +thirteenth time. + +If I had the pen of a Napier, or a Bell's Life, I should +like to describe this combat properly. It was the last +charge of the Guard--(that is, it would have been, only +Waterloo had not yet taken place)--it was Ney's column +breasting the hill of La Haye Sainte, bristling with ten +thousand bayonets, and crowned with twenty eagles--it +was the shout of the beef-eating British, as leaping down +the hill they rushed to hug the enemy in the savage arms +of battle--in other words, Cuff coming up full of pluck, +but quite reeling and groggy, the Fig-merchant put in his +left as usual on his adversary's nose, and sent him down +for the last time. + +"I think that will do for him," Figs said, as his opponent +dropped as neatly on the green as I have seen Jack +Spot's ball plump into the pocket at billiards; and the +fact is, when time was called, Mr. Reginald Cuff was not +able, or did not choose, to stand up again. + +And now all the boys set up such a shout for Figs as +would have made you think he had been their darling +champion through the whole battle; and as absolutely +brought Dr. Swishtail out of his study, curious to know +the cause of the uproar. He threatened to flog Figs +violently, of course; but Cuff, who had come to himself +by this time, and was washing his wounds, stood up and +said, "It's my fault, sir--not Figs'--not Dobbin's. I was +bullying a little boy; and he served me right." By which +magnanimous speech he not only saved his conqueror a +whipping, but got back all his ascendancy over the boys +which his defeat had nearly cost him. + +Young Osborne wrote home to his parents an account +of the transaction. + +Sugarcane House, Richmond, March, 18-- + +DEAR MAMA,--I hope you are quite well. I should be +much obliged to you to send me a cake and five shillings. +There has been a fight here between Cuff & Dobbin. +Cuff, you know, was the Cock of the School. They +fought thirteen rounds, and Dobbin Licked. So Cuff is +now Only Second Cock. The fight was about me. Cuff +was licking me for breaking a bottle of milk, and Figs +wouldn't stand it. We call him Figs because his father is +a Grocer--Figs & Rudge, Thames St., City--I think as +he fought for me you ought to buy your Tea & Sugar +at his father's. Cuff goes home every Saturday, but can't +this, because he has 2 Black Eyes. He has a white Pony +to come and fetch him, and a groom in livery on a bay +mare. I wish my Papa would let me have a Pony, and I +am + +Your dutiful Son, +GEORGE SEDLEY OSBORNE + + P.S.--Give my love to little Emmy. I am cutting her +out a Coach in cardboard. Please not a seed-cake, but a +plum-cake. + +In consequence of Dobbin's victory, his character rose +prodigiously in the estimation of all his schoolfellows, and +the name of Figs, which had been a byword of reproach, +became as respectable and popular a nickname as any +other in use in the school. "After all, it's not his fault +that his father's a grocer," George Osborne said, who, +though a little chap, had a very high popularity among +the Swishtail youth; and his opinion was received with +great applause. It was voted low to sneer at Dobbin +about this accident of birth. "Old Figs" grew to be a +name of kindness and endearment; and the sneak of an +usher jeered at him no longer. + +And Dobbin's spirit rose with his altered circumstances. +He made wonderful advances in scholastic learning. The +superb Cuff himself, at whose condescension Dobbin +could only blush and wonder, helped him on with his +Latin verses; "coached" him in play-hours: carried him +triumphantly out of the little-boy class into the middle- +sized form; and even there got a fair place for him. It +was discovered, that although dull at classical learning, +at mathematics he was uncommonly quick. To the +contentment of all he passed third in algebra, and got a +French prize-book at the public Midsummer examination. +You should have seen his mother's face when Telemaque +(that delicious romance) was presented to him by +the Doctor in the face of the whole school and the parents +and company, with an inscription to Gulielmo Dobbin. All +the boys clapped hands in token of applause and +sympathy. His blushes, his stumbles, his awkwardness, and +the number of feet which he crushed as he went back to +his place, who shall describe or calculate? Old Dobbin, his +father, who now respected him for the first time, gave +him two guineas publicly; most of which he spent in a +general tuck-out for the school: and he came back in a +tail-coat after the holidays. + +Dobbin was much too modest a young fellow to +suppose that this happy change in all his circumstances +arose from his own generous and manly disposition: he +chose, from some perverseness, to attribute his good +fortune to the sole agency and benevolence of little George +Osborne, to whom henceforth he vowed such a love and +affection as is only felt by children--such an affection, as +we read in the charming fairy-book, uncouth Orson had +for splendid young Valentine his conqueror. He flung +himself down at little Osborne's feet, and loved him. +Even before they were acquainted, he had admired +Osborne in secret. Now he was his valet, his dog, his man +Friday. He believed Osborne to be the possessor of +every perfection, to be the handsomest, the bravest, the +most active, the cleverest, the most generous of created +boys. He shared his money with him: bought him +uncountable presents of knives, pencil-cases, gold seals, +toffee, Little Warblers, and romantic books, with large +coloured pictures of knights and robbers, in many of which +latter you might read inscriptions to George Sedley +Osborne, Esquire, from his attached friend William Dobbin +--the which tokens of homage George received very +graciously, as became his superior merit. + +So that Lieutenant Osborne, when coming to Russell +Square on the day of the Vauxhall party, said to the +ladies, "Mrs. Sedley, Ma'am, I hope you have room; I've +asked Dobbin of ours to come and dine here, and go with +us to Vauxhall. He's almost as modest as Jos." + +"Modesty! pooh," said the stout gentleman, casting a +vainqueur look at Miss Sharp. + +"He is--but you are incomparably more graceful, +Sedley," Osborne added, laughing. "I met him at the +Bedford, when I went to look for you; and I told him that +Miss Amelia was come home, and that we were all bent +on going out for a night's pleasuring; and that Mrs. Sedley +had forgiven his breaking the punch-bowl at the child's +party. Don't you remember the catastrophe, Ma'am, seven +years ago?" + +"Over Mrs. Flamingo's crimson silk gown," said good- +natured Mrs. Sedley. "What a gawky it was! And his +sisters are not much more graceful. Lady Dobbin was at +Highbury last night with three of them. Such figures! my +dears." + +"The Alderman's very rich, isn't he?" Osborne said +archly. "Don't you think one of the daughters would be a +good spec for me, Ma'am?" + +"You foolish creature! Who would take you, I should +like to know, with your yellow face?" + +"Mine a yellow face? Stop till you see Dobbin. Why, he +had the yellow fever three times; twice at Nassau, and +once at St. Kitts." + +"Well, well; yours is quite yellow enough for us. Isn't +it, Emmy?" Mrs. Sedley said: at which speech Miss +Amelia only made a smile and a blush; and looking at Mr. +George Osborne's pale interesting countenance, and those +beautiful black, curling, shining whiskers, which the young +gentleman himself regarded with no ordinary +complacency, she thought in her little heart that in +His Majesty's army, or in the wide world, there never +was such a face or such a hero. "I don't care about Captain +Dobbin's complexion," she said, "or about his awkwardness. +I shall always like him, I know," her little reason being, +that he was the friend and champion of George. + +"There's not a finer fellow in the service," Osborne +said, "nor a better officer, though he is not an Adonis, +certainly." And he looked towards the glass himself with +much naivete; and in so doing, caught Miss Sharp's eye +fixed keenly upon him, at which he blushed a little, and +Rebecca thought in her heart, "Ah, mon beau Monsieur! +I think I have YOUR gauge"--the little artful minx! + +That evening, when Amelia came tripping into the +drawing-room in a white muslin frock, prepared for +conquest at Vauxhall, singing like a lark, and as fresh as a +rose--a very tall ungainly gentleman, with large hands +and feet, and large ears, set off by a closely cropped head +of black hair, and in the hideous military frogged coat +and cocked hat of those times, advanced to meet her, and +made her one of the clumsiest bows that was ever +performed by a mortal. + +This was no other than Captain William Dobbin, of +His Majesty's Regiment of Foot, returned from +yellow fever, in the West Indies, to which the fortune +of the service had ordered his regiment, whilst so many +of his gallant comrades were reaping glory in the Peninsula. + +He had arrived with a knock so very timid and quiet +that it was inaudible to the ladies upstairs: otherwise, you +may be sure Miss Amelia would never have been so bold +as to come singing into the room. As it was, the sweet +fresh little voice went right into the Captain's heart, and +nestled there. When she held out her hand for him to +shake, before he enveloped it in his own, he paused, and +thought--"Well, is it possible--are you the little maid I +remember in the pink frock, such a short time ago--the +night I upset the punch-bowl, just after I was gazetted? +Are you the little girl that George Osborne said should +marry him? What a blooming young creature you seem, +and what a prize the rogue has got!" All this he thought, +before he took Amelia's hand into his own, and as he let +his cocked hat fall. + +His history since he left school, until the very moment +when we have the pleasure of meeting him again, although +not fully narrated, has yet, I think, been indicated +sufficiently for an ingenious reader by the conversation +in the last page. Dobbin, the despised grocer, was Alderman +Dobbin--Alderman Dobbin was Colonel of the City Light +Horse, then burning with military ardour to resist the +French Invasion. Colonel Dobbin's corps, in which old +Mr. Osborne himself was but an indifferent corporal, had +been reviewed by the Sovereign and the Duke of York; +and the colonel and alderman had been knighted. His +son had entered the army: and young Osborne followed +presently in the same regiment. They had served in the +West Indies and in Canada. Their regiment had just come +home, and the attachment of Dobbin to George Osborne +was as warm and generous now as it had been when the +two were schoolboys. + +So these worthy people sat down to dinner presently. +They talked about war and glory, and Boney and Lord +Wellington, and the last Gazette. In those famous days +every gazette had a victory in it, and the two gallant young +men longed to see their own names in the glorious list, +and cursed their unlucky fate to belong to a regiment +which had been away from the chances of honour. Miss +Sharp kindled with this exciting talk, but Miss Sedley +trembled and grew quite faint as she heard it. Mr. Jos +told several of his tiger-hunting stories, finished the one +about Miss Cutler and Lance the surgeon; helped +Rebecca to everything on the table, and himself gobbled +and drank a great deal. + +He sprang to open the door for the ladies, when they +retired, with the most killing grace--and coming back to +the table, filled himself bumper after bumper of claret, +which he swallowed with nervous rapidity. + +"He's priming himself," Osborne whispered to Dobbin, +and at length the hour and the carriage arrived +for Vauxhall. + + + +CHAPTER VI + + +Vauxhall + +I know that the tune I am piping is a very mild +one (although there are some terrific chapters +coming presently), and must beg the good-natured +reader to remember that we are only discoursing +at present about a stockbroker's family in Russell +Square, who are taking walks, or luncheon, or dinner, +or talking and making love as people do in common life, +and without a single passionate and wonderful +incident to mark the progress of their loves. The +argument stands thus--Osborne, in love with Amelia, +has asked an old friend to dinner and to Vauxhall--Jos +Sedley is in love with Rebecca. Will he marry her? +That is the great subject now in hand. + +We might have treated this subject in the genteel, or in +the romantic, or in the facetious manner. Suppose we had +laid the scene in Grosvenor Square, with the very same +adventures--would not some people have listened? +Suppose we had shown how Lord Joseph Sedley fell in love, +and the Marquis of Osborne became attached to Lady +Amelia, with the full consent of the Duke, her noble +father: or instead of the supremely genteel, suppose we +had resorted to the entirely low, and described what was +going on in Mr. Sedley's kitchen--how black Sambo was +in love with the cook (as indeed he was), and how he +fought a battle with the coachman in her behalf; how the +knife-boy was caught stealing a cold shoulder of mutton, +and Miss Sedley's new femme de chambre refused to go +to bed without a wax candle; such incidents might be +made to provoke much delightful laughter, and be +supposed to represent scenes of "life." Or if, on the contrary, +we had taken a fancy for the terrible, and made the lover +of the new femme de chambre a professional burglar, who +bursts into the house with his band, slaughters black +Sambo at the feet of his master, and carries off Amelia in +her night-dress, not to be let loose again till the third +volume, we should easily have constructed a tale of +thrilling interest, through the fiery chapters of which the +reader should hurry, panting. But my readers must hope +for no such romance, only a homely story, and must be +content with a chapter about Vauxhall, which is so short +that it scarce deserves to be called a chapter at all. And +yet it is a chapter, and a very important one too. Are not +there little chapters in everybody's life, that seem to be +nothing, and yet affect all the rest of the history? + +Let us then step into the coach with the Russell Square +party, and be off to the Gardens. There is barely room +between Jos and Miss Sharp, who are on the front seat. Mr. +Osborne sitting bodkin opposite, between Captain Dobbin +and Amelia. + +Every soul in the coach agreed that on that night Jos +would propose to make Rebecca Sharp Mrs. Sedley. The +parents at home had acquiesced in the arrangement, +though, between ourselves, old Mr. Sedley had a feeling +very much akin to contempt for his son. He said he was +vain, selfish, lazy, and effeminate. He could not endure his +airs as a man of fashion, and laughed heartily at his +pompous braggadocio stories. "I shall leave the fellow half +my property," he said; "and he will have, besides, plenty +of his own; but as I am perfectly sure that if you, and I, +and his sister were to die to-morrow, he would say 'Good +Gad!' and eat his dinner just as well as usual, I am not +going to make myself anxious about him. Let him marry +whom he likes. It's no affair of mine." + +Amelia, on the other hand, as became a young woman +of her prudence and temperament, was quite enthusiastic +for the match. Once or twice Jos had been on the point +of saying something very important to her, to which she +was most willing to lend an ear, but the fat fellow could +not be brought to unbosom himself of his great secret, +and very much to his sister's disappointment he only rid +himself of a large sigh and turned away. + +This mystery served to keep Amelia's gentle bosom in a +perpetual flutter of excitement. If she did not speak with +Rebecca on the tender subject, she compensated herself +with long and intimate conversations with Mrs. Blenkinsop, +the housekeeper, who dropped some hints to the +lady's-maid, who may have cursorily mentioned the matter +to the cook, who carried the news, I have no doubt, to all +the tradesmen, so that Mr. Jos's marriage was now talked +of by a very considerable number of persons in the +Russell Square world. + +It was, of course, Mrs. Sedley's opinion that her son +would demean himself by a marriage with an artist's +daughter. "But, lor', Ma'am," ejaculated Mrs. Blenkinsop, +"we was only grocers when we married Mr. S., who +was a stock-broker's clerk, and we hadn't five hundred +pounds among us, and we're rich enough now." And +Amelia was entirely of this opinion, to which, gradually, +the good-natured Mrs. Sedley was brought. + +Mr. Sedley was neutral. "Let Jos marry whom he likes," +he said; "it's no affair of mine. This girl has no fortune; +no more had Mrs. Sedley. She seems good-humoured and +clever, and will keep him in order, perhaps. Better she, +my dear, than a black Mrs. Sedley, and a dozen of +mahogany grandchildren." + +So that everything seemed to smile upon Rebecca's +fortunes. She took Jos's arm, as a matter of course, on going +to dinner; she had sate by him on the box of his open +carriage (a most tremendous "buck" he was, as he sat +there, serene, in state, driving his greys), and though +nobody said a word on the subject of the marriage, +everybody seemed to understand it. All she wanted was +the proposal, and ah! how Rebecca now felt the want of a +mother!--a dear, tender mother, who would have managed +the business in ten minutes, and, in the course of a little +delicate confidential conversation, would have extracted +the interesting avowal from the bashful lips of the young +man! + +Such was the state of affairs as the carriage crossed +Westminster bridge. + +The party was landed at the Royal Gardens in due time. +As the majestic Jos stepped out of the creaking vehicle +the crowd gave a cheer for the fat gentleman, who blushed +and looked very big and mighty, as he walked away with +Rebecca under his arm. George, of course, took charge of +Amelia. She looked as happy as a rose-tree in sunshine. + +"I say, Dobbin," says George, "just look to the shawls +and things, there's a good fellow." And so while he paired +off with Miss Sedley, and Jos squeezed through the gate +into the gardens with Rebecca at his side, honest Dobbin +contented himself by giving an arm to the shawls, and by +paying at the door for the whole party. + +He walked very modestly behind them. He was not +willing to spoil sport. About Rebecca and Jos he did not +care a fig. But he thought Amelia worthy even of the +brilliant George Osborne, and as he saw that good-looking +couple threading the walks to the girl's delight and +wonder, he watched her artless happiness with a sort of +fatherly pleasure. Perhaps he felt that he would have liked +to have something on his own arm besides a shawl (the +people laughed at seeing the gawky young officer carrying +this female burthen); but William Dobbin was very little +addicted to selfish calculation at all; and so long as his +friend was enjoying himself, how should he be discontented? +And the truth is, that of all the delights of the +Gardens; of the hundred thousand extra lamps, which +were always lighted; the fiddlers in cocked hats, who +played ravishing melodies under the gilded cockle-shell in +the midst of the gardens; the singers, both of comic and +sentimental ballads, who charmed the ears there; the +country dances, formed by bouncing cockneys and +cockneyesses, and executed amidst jumping, thumping and +laughter; the signal which announced that Madame Saqui +was about to mount skyward on a slack-rope ascending +to the stars; the hermit that always sat in the illuminated +hermitage; the dark walks, so favourable to the interviews +of young lovers; the pots of stout handed about by the +people in the shabby old liveries; and the twinkling boxes, +in which the happy feasters made-believe to eat slices of +almost invisible ham--of all these things, and of the +gentle Simpson, that kind smiling idiot, who, I daresay, +presided even then over the place--Captain William Dobbin +did not take the slightest notice. + +He carried about Amelia's white cashmere shawl, and +having attended under the gilt cockle-shell, while Mrs. +Salmon performed the Battle of Borodino (a savage +cantata against the Corsican upstart, who had lately met +with his Russian reverses)--Mr. Dobbin tried to hum it +as he walked away, and found he was humming--the tune +which Amelia Sedley sang on the stairs, as she came +down to dinner. + +He burst out laughing at himself; for the truth is, he +could sing no better than an owl. + +It is to be understood, as a matter of course, that our +young people, being in parties of two and two, made the +most solemn promises to keep together during the evening, +and separated in ten minutes afterwards. Parties at +Vauxhall always did separate, but 'twas only to meet +again at supper-time, when they could talk of their mutual +adventures in the interval. + +What were the adventures of Mr. Osborne and Miss +Amelia? That is a secret. But be sure of this--they were +perfectly happy, and correct in their behaviour; and as +they had been in the habit of being together any time these +fifteen years, their tete-a-tete offered no particular +novelty. + +But when Miss Rebecca Sharp and her stout companion +lost themselves in a solitary walk, in which there were not +above five score more of couples similarly straying, they +both felt that the situation was extremely tender and +critical, and now or never was the moment Miss Sharp +thought, to provoke that declaration which was trembling +on the timid lips of Mr. Sedley. They had previously been +to the panorama of Moscow, where a rude fellow, treading +on Miss Sharp's foot, caused her to fall back with a little +shriek into the arms of Mr. Sedley, and this little incident +increased the tenderness and confidence of that gentleman +to such a degree, that he told her several of his favourite +Indian stories over again for, at least, the sixth time. + +"How I should like to see India!" said Rebecca. + +"SHOULD you?" said Joseph, with a most killing tenderness; +and was no doubt about to follow up this artful +interrogatory by a question still more tender (for he puffed +and panted a great deal, and Rebecca's hand, which was +placed near his heart, could count the feverish pulsations +of that organ), when, oh, provoking! the bell rang for the +fireworks, and, a great scuffling and running taking place, +these interesting lovers were obliged to follow in the +stream of people. + +Captain Dobbin had some thoughts of joining the party +at supper: as, in truth, he found the Vauxhall +amusements not particularly lively--but he paraded +twice before the box where the now united couples were +met, and nobody took any notice of him. Covers were laid for +four. The mated pairs were prattling away quite happily, +and Dobbin knew he was as clean forgotten as if he had +never existed in this world. + +"I should only be de trop," said the Captain, looking at +them rather wistfully. "I'd best go and talk to the hermit," +--and so he strolled off out of the hum of men, and noise, +and clatter of the banquet, into the dark walk, at the end +of which lived that well-known pasteboard Solitary. It +wasn't very good fun for Dobbin--and, indeed, to be +alone at Vauxhall, I have found, from my own experience, +to be one of the most dismal sports ever entered into by a +bachelor. + +The two couples were perfectly happy then in their +box: where the most delightful and intimate conversation +took place. Jos was in his glory, ordering about the waiters +with great majesty. He made the salad; and uncorked +the Champagne; and carved the chickens; and ate and +drank the greater part of the refreshments on the tables. +Finally, he insisted upon having a bowl of rack punch; +everybody had rack punch at Vauxhall. "Waiter, rack +punch." + +That bowl of rack punch was the cause of all this +history. And why not a bowl of rack punch as well as any +other cause? Was not a bowl of prussic acid the cause of +Fair Rosamond's retiring from the world? Was not a bowl +of wine the cause of the demise of Alexander the Great, +or, at least, does not Dr. Lempriere say so?--so did this +bowl of rack punch influence the fates of all the principal +characters in this "Novel without a Hero," which we are +now relating. It influenced their life, although most of +them did not taste a drop of it. + +The young ladies did not drink it; Osborne did not +like it; and the consequence was that Jos, that fat +gourmand, drank up the whole contents of the bowl; +and the consequence of his drinking up the whole contents +of the bowl was a liveliness which at first was astonishing, +and then became almost painful; for he talked and laughed so +loud as to bring scores of listeners round the box, much +to the confusion of the innocent party within it; and, +volunteering to sing a song (which he did in that maudlin +high key peculiar to gentlemen in an inebriated state), he +almost drew away the audience who were gathered round +the musicians in the gilt scollop-shell, and received from +his hearers a great deal of applause. + +"Brayvo, Fat un!" said one; "Angcore, Daniel Lambert!" +said another; "What a figure for the tight-rope!" +exclaimed another wag, to the inexpressible alarm of +the ladies, and the great anger of Mr. Osborne. + +"For Heaven's sake, Jos, let us get up and go," cried +that gentleman, and the young women rose. + +"Stop, my dearest diddle-diddle-darling," shouted Jos, +now as bold as a lion, and clasping Miss Rebecca round +the waist. Rebecca started, but she could not get away her +hand. The laughter outside redoubled. Jos continued to +drink, to make love, and to sing; and, winking and waving +his glass gracefully to his audience, challenged all or any +to come in and take a share of his punch. + +Mr. Osborne was just on the point of knocking down a +gentleman in top-boots, who proposed to take advantage +of this invitation, and a commotion seemed to be +inevitable, when by the greatest good luck a gentleman +of the name of Dobbin, who had been walking about the +gardens, stepped up to the box. "Be off, you fools!" said +this gentleman--shouldering off a great number of the crowd, +who vanished presently before his cocked hat and fierce +appearance--and he entered the box in a most agitated state. + +"Good Heavens! Dobbin, where have you been?" 0sborne +said, seizing the white cashmere shawl from his +friend's arm, and huddling up Amelia in it.--"Make +yourself useful, and take charge of Jos here, whilst I +take the ladies to the carriage." + +Jos was for rising to interfere--but a single push from +Osborne's finger sent him puffing back into his seat again, +and the lieutenant was enabled to remove the ladies in +safety. Jos kissed his hand to them as they retreated, and +hiccupped out "Bless you! Bless you!" Then, seizing +Captain Dobbin's hand, and weeping in the most pitiful way, +he confided to that gentleman the secret of his loves. He +adored that girl who had just gone out; he had broken +her heart, he knew he had, by his conduct; he would marry +her next morning at St. George's, Hanover Square; he'd +knock up the Archbishop of Canterbury at Lambeth: he +would, by Jove! and have him in readiness; and, acting on +this hint, Captain Dobbin shrewdly induced him to leave +the gardens and hasten to Lambeth Palace, and, when once +out of the gates, easily conveyed Mr. Jos Sedley into a +hackney-coach, which deposited him safely at his lodgings. + +George Osborne conducted the girls home in safety: +and when the door was closed upon them, and as he +walked across Russell Square, laughed so as to astonish +the watchman. Amelia looked very ruefully at her friend, +as they went up stairs, and kissed her, and went to bed +without any more talking. + +"He must propose to-morrow," thought Rebecca. "He +called me his soul's darling, four times; he squeezed my +hand in Amelia's presence. He must propose to-morrow." +And so thought Amelia, too. And I dare say she thought +of the dress she was to wear as bridesmaid, and of the +presents which she should make to her nice little sister-in- +law, and of a subsequent ceremony in which she herself +might play a principal part, &c., and &c., and &c., and &c. + +Oh, ignorant young creatures! How little do you know +the effect of rack punch! What is the rack in the punch, +at night, to the rack in the head of a morning? To this +truth I can vouch as a man; there is no headache in the +world like that caused by Vauxhall punch. Through the +lapse of twenty years, I can remember the consequence +of two glasses! two wine-glasses! but two, upon the +honour of a gentleman; and Joseph Sedley, who had a +liver complaint, had swallowed at least a quart of the +abominable mixture. + +That next morning, which Rebecca thought was to +dawn upon her fortune, found Sedley groaning in agonies +which the pen refuses to describe. Soda-water was not +invented yet. Small beer--will it be believed!--was the +only drink with which unhappy gentlemen soothed the +fever of their previous night's potation. With this mild +beverage before him, George Osborne found the ex- +Collector of Boggley Wollah groaning on the sofa at +his lodgings. Dobbin was already in the room, good- +naturedly tending his patient of the night before. The two +officers, looking at the prostrate Bacchanalian, and +askance at each other, exchanged the most frightful +sympathetic grins. Even Sedley's valet, the most solemn +and correct of gentlemen, with the muteness and gravity of +an undertaker, could hardly keep his countenance in +order, as he looked at his unfortunate master. + +"Mr. Sedley was uncommon wild last night, sir," he +whispered in confidence to Osborne, as the latter mounted +the stair. "He wanted to fight the 'ackney-coachman, sir. +The Capting was obliged to bring him upstairs in his +harms like a babby." A momentary smile flickered over +Mr. Brush's features as he spoke; instantly, however, they +relapsed into their usual unfathomable calm, as he flung +open the drawing-room door, and announced "Mr. +Hosbin." + +"How are you, Sedley?" that young wag began, after +surveying his victim. "No bones broke? There's a +hackney-coachman downstairs with a black eye, and a +tied-up head, vowing he'll have the law of you." + +"What do you mean--law?" Sedley faintly asked. + +"For thrashing him last night--didn't he, Dobbin? You +hit out, sir, like Molyneux. The watchman says he never +saw a fellow go down so straight. Ask Dobbin." + +"You DID have a round with the coachman," Captain +Dobbin said, "and showed plenty of fight too." + +"And that fellow with the white coat at Vauxhall! How +Jos drove at him! How the women screamed! By Jove, +sir, it did my heart good to see you. I thought you civilians +had no pluck; but I'll never get in your way when you +are in your cups, Jos." + +"I believe I'm very terrible, when I'm roused," +ejaculated Jos from the sofa, and made a grimace so +dreary and ludicrous, that the Captain's politeness could +restrain him no longer, and he and Osborne fired off a +ringing volley of laughter. + +Osborne pursued his advantage pitilessly. He thought +Jos a milksop. He had been revolving in his mind the +marriage question pending between Jos and Rebecca, and +was not over well pleased that a member of a family into +which he, George Osborne, of the --th, was going +to marry, should make a mesalliance with a little nobody +--a little upstart governess. "You hit, you poor old +fellow!" said Osborne. "You terrible! Why, man, you +couldn't stand--you made everybody laugh in the +Gardens, though you were crying yourself. You were +maudlin, Jos. Don't you remember singing a song?" + +"A what?" Jos asked. + +"A sentimental song, and calling Rosa, Rebecca, what's +her name, Amelia's little friend--your dearest diddle- +diddle-darling?" And this ruthless young fellow, seizing +hold of Dobbin's hand, acted over the scene, to the horror +of the original performer, and in spite of Dobbin's good- +natured entreaties to him to have mercy. + +"Why should I spare him?" Osborne said to his friend's +remonstrances, when they quitted the invalid, leaving him +under the hands of Doctor Gollop. "What the deuce right +has he to give himself his patronizing airs, and make fools +of us at Vauxhall? Who's this little schoolgirl that is +ogling and making love to him? Hang it, the family's +low enough already, without HER. A governess is all very +well, but I'd rather have a lady for my sister-in-law. I'm +a liberal man; but I've proper pride, and know my own +station: let her know hers. And I'll take down that great +hectoring Nabob, and prevent him from being made a +greater fool than he is. That's why I told him to look out, +lest she brought an action against him." + +"I suppose you know best," Dobbin said, though rather +dubiously. "You always were a Tory, and your family's +one of the oldest in England. But --" + +"Come and see the girls, and make love to Miss Sharp +yourself," the lieutenant here interrupted his friend; but +Captain Dobbin declined to join Osborne in his daily visit +to the young ladies in Russell Square. + +As George walked down Southampton Row, from +Holborn, he laughed as he saw, at the Sedley Mansion, +in two different stories two heads on the look-out. + +The fact is, Miss Amelia, in the drawing-room balcony, +was looking very eagerly towards the opposite side of the +Square, where Mr. Osborne dwelt, on the watch for the +lieutenant himself; and Miss Sharp, from her little bed- +room on the second floor, was in observation until Mr. +Joseph's great form should heave in sight. + +"Sister Anne is on the watch-tower," said he to Amelia, +"but there's nobody coming"; and laughing and enjoying +the joke hugely, he described in the most ludicrous terms +to Miss Sedley, the dismal condition of her brother. + +"I think it's very cruel of you to laugh, George," she +said, looking particularly unhappy; but George only +laughed the more at her piteous and discomfited mien, +persisted in thinking the joke a most diverting one, and +when Miss Sharp came downstairs, bantered her with a +great deal of liveliness upon the effect of her charms on +the fat civilian. + +"O Miss Sharp! if you could but see him this morning," +he said--"moaning in his flowered dressing-gown-- +writhing on his sofa; if you could but have seen him +lolling out his tongue to Gollop the apothecary." + +"See whom?" said Miss Sharp. + +"Whom? O whom? Captain Dobbin, of course, to whom +we were all so attentive, by the way, last night." + +"We were very unkind to him," Emmy said, blushing +very much. "I--I quite forgot him." + +"Of course you did," cried Osborne, still on the laugh. + +"One can't be ALWAYS thinking about Dobbin, you know, +Amelia. Can one, Miss Sharp?" + +"Except when he overset the glass of wine at dinner," +Miss Sharp said, with a haughty air and a toss of the +head, "I never gave the existence of Captain Dobbin one +single moment's consideration." + +"Very good, Miss Sharp, I'll tell him," Osborne said; +and as he spoke Miss Sharp began to have a feeling of +distrust and hatred towards this young officer, which he +was quite unconscious of having inspired. "He is to make +fun of me, is he?" thought Rebecca. "Has he been +laughing about me to Joseph? Has he frightened him? +Perhaps he won't come."--A film passed over her eyes, +and her heart beat quite quick. + +"You're always joking," said she, smiling as innocently +as she could. "Joke away, Mr. George; there's nobody +to defend ME." And George Osborne, as she walked away +--and Amelia looked reprovingly at him--felt some little +manly compunction for having inflicted any unnecessary +unkindness upon this helpless creature. "My dearest +Amelia," said he, "you are too good--too kind. You +don't know the world. I do. And your little friend Miss +Sharp must learn her station." + +"Don't you think Jos will--" + +"Upon my word, my dear, I don't know. He may, or +may not. I'm not his master. I only know he is a very +foolish vain fellow, and put my dear little girl into a very +painful and awkward position last night. My dearest +diddle-diddle-darling!" He was off laughing again, and he +did it so drolly that Emmy laughed too. + +All that day Jos never came. But Amelia had no fear +about this; for the little schemer had actually sent away +the page, Mr. Sambo's aide-de-camp, to Mr. Joseph's +lodgings, to ask for some book he had promised, and how +he was; and the reply through Jos's man, Mr. Brush, was, +that his master was ill in bed, and had just had the doctor +with him. He must come to-morrow, she thought, but she +never had the courage to speak a word on the subject +to Rebecca; nor did that young woman herself allude +to it in any way during the whole evening after the night +at Vauxhall. + +The next day, however, as the two young ladies sate on +the sofa, pretending to work, or to write letters, or to +read novels, Sambo came into the room with his usual +engaging grin, with a packet under his arm, and a note +on a tray. "Note from Mr. Jos, Miss," says Sambo. + +How Amelia trembled as she opened it! + +So it ran: + +Dear Amelia,--I send you the "Orphan of the Forest." +I was too ill to come yesterday. I leave town to-day +for Cheltenham. Pray excuse me, if you can, to the +amiable Miss Sharp, for my conduct at Vauxhall, and +entreat her to pardon and forget every word I may have +uttered when excited by that fatal supper. As soon as +I have recovered, for my health is very much shaken, I +shall go to Scotland for some months, and am + +Truly yours, +Jos Sedley + + +It was the death-warrant. All was over. Amelia did +not dare to look at Rebecca's pale face and burning eyes, +but she dropt the letter into her friend's lap; and got up, +and went upstairs to her room, and cried her little heart +out. + +Blenkinsop, the housekeeper, there sought her presently +with consolation, on whose shoulder Amelia wept +confidentially, and relieved herself a good deal. "Don't take +on, Miss. I didn't like to tell you. But none of us in the +house have liked her except at fust. I sor her with my +own eyes reading your Ma's letters. Pinner says she's +always about your trinket-box and drawers, and +everybody's drawers, and she's sure she's put your white +ribbing into her box." + +"I gave it her, I gave it her," Amelia said. + +But this did not alter Mrs. Blenkinsop's opinion of Miss +Sharp. "I don't trust them governesses, Pinner," she +remarked to the maid. "They give themselves the hairs and +hupstarts of ladies, and their wages is no better than +you nor me." + +It now became clear to every soul in the house, except +poor Amelia, that Rebecca should take her departure, +and high and low (always with the one exception) agreed +that that event should take place as speedily as possible. +Our good child ransacked all her drawers, cupboards, +reticules, and gimcrack boxes--passed in review all her +gowns, fichus, tags, bobbins, laces, silk stockings, and +fallals--selecting this thing and that and the other, to +make a little heap for Rebecca. And going to her Papa, +that generous British merchant, who had promised to +give her as many guineas as she was years old--she +begged the old gentleman to give the money to dear +Rebecca, who must want it, while she lacked for nothing. + +She even made George Osborne contribute, and +nothing loth (for he was as free-handed a young fellow +as any in the army), he went to Bond Street, and bought +the best hat and spenser that money could buy. + +"That's George's present to you, Rebecca, dear," said +Amelia, quite proud of the bandbox conveying these +gifts. "What a taste he has! There's nobody like him." + +"Nobody," Rebecca answered. "How thankful I am to +him!" She was thinking in her heart, "It was George +Osborne who prevented my marriage."--And she loved +George Osborne accordingly. + +She made her preparations for departure with great +equanimity; and accepted all the kind little Amelia's +presents, after just the proper degree of hesitation and +reluctance. She vowed eternal gratitude to Mrs. Sedley, +of course; but did not intrude herself upon that good +lady too much, who was embarrassed, and evidently +wishing to avoid her. She kissed Mr. Sedley's hand, when +he presented her with the purse; and asked permission to +consider him for the future as her kind, kind friend and +protector. Her behaviour was so affecting that he was +going to write her a cheque for twenty pounds more; +but he restrained his feelings: the carriage was in waiting +to take him to dinner, so he tripped away with a "God +bless you, my dear, always come here when you come to +town, you know.--Drive to the Mansion House, James." + +Finally came the parting with Miss Amelia, over which +picture I intend to throw a veil. But after a scene in +which one person was in earnest and the other a perfect +performer--after the tenderest caresses, the most pathetic +tears, the smelling-bottle, and some of the very best +feelings of the heart, had been called into requisition-- +Rebecca and Amelia parted, the former vowing to love +her friend for ever and ever and ever. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + + +Crawley of Queen's Crawley + +Among the most respected of the names beginning in C +which the Court-Guide contained, in the year 18--, was +that of Crawley, Sir Pitt, Baronet, Great Gaunt Street, +and Queen's Crawley, Hants. This honourable name had +figured constantly also in the Parliamentary list for many +years, in conjunction with that of a number of other +worthy gentlemen who sat in turns for the borough. + +It is related, with regard to the borough of Queen's +Crawley, that Queen Elizabeth in one of her progresses, +stopping at Crawley to breakfast, was so delighted with +some remarkably fine Hampshire beer which was then +presented to her by the Crawley of the day (a handsome +gentleman with a trim beard and a good leg), that she +forthwith erected Crawley into a borough to send two +members to Parliament; and the place, from the day of +that illustrious visit, took the name of Queen's Crawley, +which it holds up to the present moment. And though, by +the lapse of time, and those mutations which age produces +in empires, cities, and boroughs, Queen's Crawley was no +longer so populous a place as it had been in Queen Bess's +time--nay, was come down to that condition of borough +which used to be denominated rotten--yet, as Sir Pitt +Crawley would say with perfect justice in his elegant +way, "Rotten! be hanged--it produces me a good fifteen +hundred a year." + +Sir Pitt Crawley (named after the great Commoner) +was the son of Walpole Crawley, first Baronet, of the +Tape and Sealing-Wax Office in the reign of George II., +when he was impeached for peculation, as were a great +number of other honest gentlemen of those days; and +Walpole Crawley was, as need scarcely be said, son of +John Churchill Crawley, named after the celebrated +military commander of the reign of Queen Anne. The family +tree (which hangs up at Queen's Crawley) furthermore +mentions Charles Stuart, afterwards called Barebones +Crawley, son of the Crawley of James the First's time; +and finally, Queen Elizabeth's Crawley, who is represented +as the foreground of the picture in his forked beard and +armour. Out of his waistcoat, as usual, grows a tree, on +the main branches of which the above illustrious names +are inscribed. Close by the name of Sir Pitt Crawley, +Baronet (the subject of the present memoir), are written +that of his brother, the Reverend Bute Crawley (the great +Commoner was in disgrace when the reverend gentleman +was born), rector of Crawley-cum-Snailby, and of various +other male and female members of the Crawley family. + +Sir Pitt was first married to Grizzel, sixth daughter of +Mungo Binkie, Lord Binkie, and cousin, in consequence, +of Mr. Dundas. She brought him two sons: Pitt, named +not so much after his father as after the heaven-born +minister; and Rawdon Crawley, from the Prince of +Wales's friend, whom his Majesty George IV forgot so +completely. Many years after her ladyship's demise, Sir +Pitt led to the altar Rosa, daughter of Mr. G. Dawson, +of Mudbury, by whom he had two daughters, for whose +benefit Miss Rebecca Sharp was now engaged as +governess. It will be seen that the young lady was come into a +family of very genteel connexions, and was about to move +in a much more distinguished circle than that humble one +which she had just quitted in Russell Square. + +She had received her orders to join her pupils, in a +note which was written upon an old envelope, and which +contained the following words: + +Sir Pitt Crawley begs Miss Sharp and baggidge may be +hear on Tuesday, as I leaf for Queen's Crawley to-morrow +morning ERLY. + +Great Gaunt Street. + +Rebecca had never seen a Baronet, as far as she knew, +and as soon as she had taken leave of Amelia, and +counted the guineas which good-natured Mr. Sedley had +put into a purse for her, and as soon as she had done +wiping her eyes with her handkerchief (which operation +she concluded the very moment the carriage had turned +the corner of the street), she began to depict in her own +mind what a Baronet must be. "I wonder, does he wear +a star?" thought she, "or is it only lords that wear stars? +But he will be very handsomely dressed in a court suit, +with ruffles, and his hair a little powdered, like Mr. +Wroughton at Covent Garden. I suppose he will be +awfully proud, and that I shall be treated most +contemptuously. Still I must bear my hard lot as well +as I can--at least, I shall be amongst GENTLEFOLKS, and +not with vulgar city people": and she fell to thinking of +her Russell Square friends with that very same philosophical +bitterness with which, in a certain apologue, the fox is +represented as speaking of the grapes. + +Having passed through Gaunt Square into Great Gaunt +Street, the carriage at length stopped at a tall gloomy +house between two other tall gloomy houses, each with a +hatchment over the middle drawing-room window; as is +the custom of houses in Great Gaunt Street, in which +gloomy locality death seems to reign perpetual. The +shutters of the first-floor windows of Sir Pitt's mansion +were closed--those of the dining-room were partially open, +and the blinds neatly covered up in old newspapers. + +John, the groom, who had driven the carriage alone, +did not care to descend to ring the bell; and so prayed a +passing milk-boy to perform that office for him. When the +bell was rung, a head appeared between the interstices of +the dining-room shutters, and the door was opened by a +man in drab breeches and gaiters, with a dirty old coat, +a foul old neckcloth lashed round his bristly neck, a +shining bald head, a leering red face, a pair of twinkling grey +eyes, and a mouth perpetually on the grin + +"This Sir Pitt Crawley's?" says John, from the box. + +"Ees," says the man at the door, with a nod. + +"Hand down these 'ere trunks then," said John. + +"Hand 'n down yourself," said the porter. + +"Don't you see I can't leave my hosses? Come, bear a +hand, my fine feller, and Miss will give you some beer," +said John, with a horse-laugh, for he was no longer +respectful to Miss Sharp, as her connexion with the family +was broken off, and as she had given nothing to the +servants on coming away. + +The bald-headed man, taking his hands out of his +breeches pockets, advanced on this summons, and +throwing Miss Sharp's trunk over his shoulder, carried it into +the house. + +"Take this basket and shawl, if you please, and open +the door," said Miss Sharp, and descended from the +carriage in much indignation. "I shall write to Mr. Sedley +and inform him of your conduct," said she to the groom. + +"Don't," replied that functionary. "I hope you've forgot +nothink? Miss 'Melia's gownds--have you got them--as +the lady's maid was to have 'ad? I hope they'll fit you. +Shut the door, Jim, you'll get no good out of 'ER," +continued John, pointing with his thumb towards Miss Sharp: +"a bad lot, I tell you, a bad lot," and so saying, Mr. +Sedley's groom drove away. The truth is, he was attached +to the lady's maid in question, and indignant that she +should have been robbed of her perquisites. + +On entering the dining-room, by the orders of the +individual in gaiters, Rebecca found that apartment not +more cheerful than such rooms usually are, when genteel +families are out of town. The faithful chambers seem, as +it were, to mourn the absence of their masters. The turkey +carpet has rolled itself up, and retired sulkily under the +sideboard: the pictures have hidden their faces behind old +sheets of brown paper: the ceiling lamp is muffled up in a +dismal sack of brown holland: the window-curtains have +disappeared under all sorts of shabby envelopes: the +marble bust of Sir Walpole Crawley is looking from its +black corner at the bare boards and the oiled fire-irons, +and the empty card-racks over the mantelpiece: the +cellaret has lurked away behind the carpet: the chairs are +turned up heads and tails along the walls: and in the +dark corner opposite the statue, is an old-fashioned +crabbed knife-box, locked and sitting on a dumb waiter. + +Two kitchen chairs, and a round table, and an +attenuated old poker and tongs were, however, gathered +round the fire-place, as was a saucepan over a feeble +sputtering fire. There was a bit of cheese and bread, and +a tin candlestick on the table, and a little black porter +in a pint-pot. + +"Had your dinner, I suppose? It is not too warm for +you? Like a drop of beer?" + +"Where is Sir Pitt Crawley?" said Miss Sharp +majestically. + +"He, he! I'm Sir Pitt Crawley. Reklect you owe me a +pint for bringing down your luggage. He, he! Ask +Tinker if I aynt. Mrs. Tinker, Miss Sharp; Miss +Governess, Mrs. Charwoman. Ho, ho!" + +The lady addressed as Mrs. Tinker at this moment +made her appearance with a pipe and a paper of tobacco, +for which she had been despatched a minute before +Miss Sharp's arrival; and she handed the articles over to +Sir Pitt, who had taken his seat by the fire. + +"Where's the farden?" said he. "I gave you three +halfpence. Where's the change, old Tinker?" + +"There!" replied Mrs. Tinker, flinging down the coin; +it's only baronets as cares about farthings." + +"A farthing a day is seven shillings a year," answered +the M.P.; "seven shillings a year is the interest of seven +guineas. Take care of your farthings, old Tinker, and your +guineas will come quite nat'ral." + +"You may be sure it's Sir Pitt Crawley, young woman," +said Mrs. Tinker, surlily; "because he looks to his +farthings. You'll know him better afore long." + +"And like me none the worse, Miss Sharp," said the +old gentleman, with an air almost of politeness. "I must +be just before I'm generous." + + "He never gave away a farthing in his life," growled +Tinker. + +"Never, and never will: it's against my principle. Go +and get another chair from the kitchen, Tinker, if you +want to sit down; and then we'll have a bit of supper." + +Presently the baronet plunged a fork into the saucepan +on the fire, and withdrew from the pot a piece of tripe +and an onion, which he divided into pretty equal +portions, and of which he partook with Mrs. Tinker. "You +see, Miss Sharp, when I'm not here Tinker's on board +wages: when I'm in town she dines with the family. +Haw! haw! I'm glad Miss Sharp's not hungry, ain't you, +Tink?" And they fell to upon their frugal supper. + +After supper Sir Pitt Crawley began to smoke his +pipe; and when it became quite dark, he lighted the +rushlight in the tin candlestick, and producing from an +interminable pocket a huge mass of papers, began reading +them, and putting them in order. + +"I'm here on law business, my dear, and that's how it +happens that I shall have the pleasure of such a pretty +travelling companion to-morrow." + +"He's always at law business," said Mrs. Tinker, +taking up the pot of porter. + +"Drink and drink about," said the Baronet. "Yes; my +dear, Tinker is quite right: I've lost and won more +lawsuits than any man in England. Look here at Crawley, +Bart. v. Snaffle. I'll throw him over, or my name's not +Pitt Crawley. Podder and another versus Crawley, Bart. +Overseers of Snaily parish against Crawley, Bart. They +can't prove it's common: I'll defy 'em; the land's mine. +It no more belongs to the parish than it does to you or +Tinker here. I'll beat 'em, if it cost me a thousand guineas. +Look over the papers; you may if you like, my dear. +Do you write a good hand? I'll make you useful when +we're at Queen's Crawley, depend on it, Miss Sharp. +Now the dowager's dead I want some one." + +"She was as bad as he," said Tinker. "She took the +law of every one of her tradesmen; and turned away +forty-eight footmen in four year." + +"She was close--very close," said the Baronet, simply; +"but she was a valyble woman to me, and saved me a +steward."--And in this confidential strain, and much to +the amusement of the new-comer, the conversation +continued for a considerable time. Whatever Sir Pitt +Crawley's qualities might be, good or bad, he did not make +the least disguise of them. He talked of himself incessantly, sometimes in the coarsest and vulgarest Hampshire accent; sometimes adopting the tone of a man of the world. And so, +with injunctions to Miss Sharp to be ready at five in the +morning, he bade her good night. "You'll sleep with Tinker +to-night," he said; "it's a big bed, and there's room for two. +Lady Crawley died in it. Good night." + +Sir Pitt went off after this benediction, and the solemn +Tinker, rushlight in hand, led the way up the great +bleak stone stairs, past the great dreary drawing-room +doors, with the handles muffled up in paper, into the +great front bedroom, where Lady Crawley had slept her +last. The bed and chamber were so funereal and gloomy, +you might have fancied, not only that Lady Crawley died +in the room, but that her ghost inhabited it. Rebecca +sprang about the apartment, however, with the greatest +liveliness, and had peeped into the huge wardrobes, and +the closets, and the cupboards, and tried the drawers +which were locked, and examined the dreary pictures +and toilette appointments, while the old charwoman +was saying her prayers. "I shouldn't like to sleep in this +yeer bed without a good conscience, Miss," said the old +woman. "There's room for us and a half-dozen of ghosts +in it," says Rebecca. "Tell me all about Lady Crawley +and Sir Pitt Crawley, and everybody, my DEAR Mrs. +Tinker." + +But old Tinker was not to be pumped by this little +cross-questioner; and signifying to her that bed was a +place for sleeping, not conversation, set up in her corner +of the bed such a snore as only the nose of innocence +can produce. Rebecca lay awake for a long, long time, +thinking of the morrow, and of the new world into which +she was going, and of her chances of success there. The +rushlight flickered in the basin. The mantelpiece cast up +a great black shadow, over half of a mouldy old sampler, +which her defunct ladyship had worked, no doubt, and +over two little family pictures of young lads, one in a +college gown, and the other in a red jacket like a soldier. +When she went to sleep, Rebecca chose that one to +dream about. + +At four o'clock, on such a roseate summer's morning +as even made Great Gaunt Street look cheerful, the +faithful Tinker, having wakened her bedfellow, and bid her +prepare for departure, unbarred and unbolted the great +hall door (the clanging and clapping whereof startled +the sleeping echoes in the street), and taking her way +into Oxford Street, summoned a coach from a stand +there. It is needless to particularize the number of the +vehicle, or to state that the driver was stationed thus +early in the neighbourhood of Swallow Street, in hopes +that some young buck, reeling homeward from the tavern, +might need the aid of his vehicle, and pay him with +the generosity of intoxication. + +It is likewise needless to say that the driver, if he had +any such hopes as those.above stated, was grossly +disappointed; and that the worthy Baronet whom he drove +to the City did not give him one single penny more than +his fare. It was in vain that Jehu appealed and stormed; +that he flung down Miss Sharp's bandboxes in the gutter +at the 'Necks, and swore he would take the law of his +fare. + +"You'd better not," said one of the ostlers; "it's Sir +Pitt Crawley." + +"So it is, Joe," cried the Baronet, approvingly; "and +I'd like to see the man can do me." + +"So should oi," said Joe, grinning sulkily, and +mounting the Baronet's baggage on the roof of the coach. + +"Keep the box for me, Leader," exclaims the Member +of Parliament to the coachman; who replied, "Yes, +Sir Pitt," with a touch of his hat, and rage in his soul +(for he had promised the box to a young gentleman +from Cambridge, who would have given a crown to a +certainty), and Miss Sharp was accommodated with a +back seat inside the carriage, which might be said to be +carrying her into the wide world. + +How the young man from Cambridge sulkily put his +five great-coats in front; but was reconciled when little +Miss Sharp was made to quit the carriage, and mount +up beside him--when he covered her up in one of his +Benjamins, and became perfectly good-humoured--how +the asthmatic gentleman, the prim lady, who declared +upon her sacred honour she had never travelled in a +public carriage before (there is always such a lady in a +coach--Alas! was; for the coaches, where are they?), +and the fat widow with the brandy-bottle, took their +places inside--how the porter asked them all for money, +and got sixpence from the gentleman and five greasy +halfpence from the fat widow--and how the carriage +at length drove away--now threading the dark lanes of +Aldersgate, anon clattering by the Blue Cupola of St. +Paul's, jingling rapidly by the strangers' entry of Fleet- +Market, which, with Exeter 'Change, has now departed +to the world of shadows--how they passed the White +Bear in Piccadilly, and saw the dew rising up from the +market-gardens of Knightsbridge--how Turnhamgreen, +Brentwood, Bagshot, were passed--need not be told here. +But the writer of these pages, who has pursued in former +days, and in the same bright weather, the same remarkable +journey, cannot but think of it with a sweet and +tender regret. Where is the road now, and its merry +incidents of life? Is there no Chelsea or Greenwich for +the old honest pimple-nosed coachmen? I wonder where +are they, those good fellows? Is old Weller alive or dead? +and the waiters, yea, and the inns at which they waited, +and the cold rounds of beef inside, and the stunted ostler, +with his blue nose and clinking pail, where is he, and +where is his generation? To those great geniuses now in +petticoats, who shall write novels for the beloved reader's +children, these men and things will be as much legend +and history as Nineveh, or Coeur de Lion, or Jack +Sheppard. For them stage-coaches will have become romances +--a team of four bays as fabulous as Bucephalus or Black +Bess. Ah, how their coats shone, as the stable-men pulled +their clothes off, and away they went--ah, how their +tails shook, as with smoking sides at the stage's end +they demurely walked away into the inn-yard. Alas! we +shall never hear the horn sing at midnight, or see the +pike-gates fly open any more. Whither, however, is the +light four-inside Trafalgar coach carrying us? Let us be +set down at Queen's Crawley without further divagation, +and see how Miss Rebecca Sharp speeds there. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + + + +Miss Rebecca Sharp to Miss Amelia Sedley, +Russell Square, London. +(Free.--Pitt Crawley.) + +MY DEAREST, SWEETEST AMELIA, + +With what mingled joy and sorrow do I take up the +pen to write to my dearest friend! Oh, what a change +between to-day and yesterday! Now I am friendless and +alone; yesterday I was at home, in the sweet company +of a sister, whom I shall ever, ever cherish! + +I will not tell you in what tears and sadness I passed +the fatal night in which I separated from you. YOU went +on Tuesday to joy and happiness, with your mother and +YOUR DEVOTED YOUNG SOLDIER by your side; and I thought +of you all night, dancing at the Perkins's, the prettiest, +I am sure, of all the young ladies at the Ball. I was +brought by the groom in the old carriage to Sir Pitt +Crawley's town house, where, after John the groom had +behaved most rudely and insolently to me (alas! 'twas +safe to insult poverty and misfortune!), I was given over +to Sir P.'s care, and made to pass the night in an old +gloomy bed, and by the side of a horrid gloomy old +charwoman, who keeps the house. I did not sleep one +single wink the whole night. + +Sir Pitt is not what we silly girls, when we used to +read Cecilia at Chiswick, imagined a baronet must have +been. Anything, indeed, less like Lord Orville cannot be +imagined. Fancy an old, stumpy, short, vulgar, and very +dirty man, in old clothes and shabby old gaiters, who +smokes a horrid pipe, and cooks his own horrid supper +in a saucepan. He speaks with a country accent, and +swore a great deal at the old charwoman, at the hackney +coachman who drove us to the inn where the coach went +from, and on which I made the journey OUTSIDE FOR THE +GREATER PART OF THE WAY. + +I was awakened at daybreak by the charwoman, and +having arrived at the inn, was at first placed inside the +coach. But, when we got to a place called Leakington, +where the rain began to fall very heavily--will you +believe it?--I was forced to come outside; for Sir Pitt is a +proprietor of the coach, and as a passenger came at +Mudbury, who wanted an inside place, I was obliged to +go outside in the rain, where, however, a young +gentleman from Cambridge College sheltered me very +kindly in one of his several great coats. + +This gentleman and the guard seemed to know Sir +Pitt very well, and laughed at him a great deal. They +both agreed in calling him an old screw; which means a +very stingy, avaricious person. He never gives any money +to anybody, they said (and this meanness I hate); and +the young gentleman made me remark that we drove +very slow for the last two stages on the road, because +Sir Pitt was on the box, and because he is proprietor +of the horses for this part of the journey. "But won't I +flog 'em on to Squashmore, when I take the ribbons?" +said the young Cantab. "And sarve 'em right, Master +Jack," said the guard. When I comprehended the +meaning of this phrase, and that Master Jack intended to +drive the rest of the way, and revenge himself on Sir +Pitt's horses, of course I laughed too. + +A carriage and four splendid horses, covered with +armorial bearings, however, awaited us at Mudbury, +four miles from Queen's Crawley, and we made our +entrance to the baronet's park in state. There is a fine +avenue of a mile long leading to the house, and the woman +at the lodge-gate (over the pillars of which are a serpent +and a dove, the supporters of the Crawley arms), made +us a number of curtsies as she flung open the old iron +carved doors, which are something like those at odious +Chiswick. + +"There's an avenue," said Sir Pitt, "a mile long. +There's six thousand pound of timber in them there +trees. Do you call that nothing?" He pronounced avenue +--EVENUE, and nothing--NOTHINK, so droll; and he had +a Mr. Hodson, his hind from Mudbury, into the carriage +with him, and they talked about distraining, and selling +up, and draining and subsoiling, and a great deal about +tenants and farming--much more than I could +understand. Sam Miles had been caught poaching, and Peter +Bailey had gone to the workhouse at last. "Serve him +right," said Sir Pitt; "him and his family has been +cheating me on that farm these hundred and fifty years." +Some old tenant, I suppose, who could not pay his rent. +Sir Pitt might have said "he and his family," to be sure; +but rich baronets do not need to be careful about +grammar, as poor governesses must be. + +As we passed, I remarked a beautiful church-spire +rising above some old elms in the park; and before them, +in the midst of a lawn, and some outhouses, an old red +house with tall chimneys covered with ivy, and the +windows shining in the sun. "Is that your church, sir?" +I said. + +"Yes, hang it," (said Sir Pitt, only he used, dear, A MUCH +WICKEDER WORD); "how's Buty, Hodson? Buty's my +brother Bute, my dear--my brother the parson. Buty and +the Beast I call him, ha, ha!" + +Hodson laughed too, and then looking more grave +and nodding his head, said, "I'm afraid he's better, Sir +Pitt. He was out on his pony yesterday, looking at our +corn." + +"Looking after his tithes, hang'un (only he used the +same wicked word). Will brandy and water never kill +him? He's as tough as old whatdyecallum--old +Methusalem." + +Mr. Hodson laughed again. "The young men is home +from college. They've whopped John Scroggins till he's +well nigh dead." + +"Whop my second keeper!" roared out Sir Pitt. + +"He was on the parson's ground, sir," replied Mr. +Hodson; and Sir Pitt in a fury swore that if he ever caught +'em poaching on his ground, he'd transport 'em, by the +lord he would. However, he said, "I've sold the +presentation of the living, Hodson; none of that breed +shall get it, I war'nt"; and Mr. Hodson said he was quite right: +and I have no doubt from this that the two brothers are +at variance--as brothers often are, and sisters too. Don't +you remember the two Miss Scratchleys at Chiswick, +how they used always to fight and quarrel--and Mary +Box, how she was always thumping Louisa? + +Presently, seeing two little boys gathering sticks in the +wood, Mr. Hodson jumped out of the carriage, at Sir +Pitt's order, and rushed upon them with his whip. "Pitch +into 'em, Hodson," roared the baronet; "flog their little +souls out, and bring 'em up to the house, the vagabonds; +I'll commit 'em as sure as my name's Pitt." And presently +we heard Mr. Hodson's whip cracking on the +shoulders of the poor little blubbering wretches, and +Sir Pitt, seeing that the malefactors were in custody, +drove on to the hall. + +All the servants were ready to meet us, and +. . . + +Here, my dear, I was interrupted last night by a +dreadful thumping at my door: and who do you think it +was? Sir Pitt Crawley in his night-cap and dressing- +gown, such a figure! As I shrank away from such a +visitor, he came forward and seized my candle. "No +candles after eleven o'clock, Miss Becky," said he. "Go to +bed in the dark, you pretty little hussy" (that is what +he called me), "and unless you wish me to come for the +candle every night, mind and be in bed at eleven." And +with this, he and Mr. Horrocks the butler went off +laughing. You may be sure I shall not encourage any more +of their visits. They let loose two immense bloodhounds +at night, which all last night were yelling and howling +at the moon. "I call the dog Gorer," said Sir Pitt; "he's +killed a man that dog has, and is master of a bull, and +the mother I used to call Flora; but now I calls her +Aroarer, for she's too old to bite. Haw, haw!" + +Before the house of Queen's Crawley, which is an +odious old-fashioned red brick mansion, with tall +chimneys and gables of the style of Queen Bess, there is a +terrace flanked by the family dove and serpent, and on +which the great hall-door opens. And oh, my dear, the +great hall I am sure is as big and as glum as the great +hall in the dear castle of Udolpho. It has a large +fireplace, in which we might put half Miss Pinkerton's +school, and the grate is big enough to roast an ox at the +very least. Round the room hang I don't know how +many generations of Crawleys, some with beards and +ruffs, some with huge wigs and toes turned out, some +dressed in long straight stays and gowns that look as +stiff as towers, and some with long ringlets, and oh, my +dear! scarcely any stays at all. At one end of the hall is +the great staircase all in black oak, as dismal as may be, +and on either side are tall doors with stags' heads.over +them, leading to the billiard-room and the library, and +the great yellow saloon and the morning-rooms. I think +there are at least twenty bedrooms on the first floor; one +of them has the bed in which Queen Elizabeth slept; +and I have been taken by my new pupils through all +these fine apartments this morning. They are not +rendered less gloomy, I promise you, by having the shutters +always shut; and there is scarce one of the apartments, +but when the light was let into it, I expected to +see a ghost in the room. We have a schoolroom on the +second floor, with my bedroom leading into it on one +side, and that of the young ladies on the other. Then +there are Mr. Pitt's apartments--Mr. Crawley, he is +called--the eldest son, and Mr. Rawdon Crawley's rooms +--he is an officer like SOMEBODY, and away with his +regiment. There is no want of room I assure you. You +might lodge all the people in Russell Square in the +house, I think, and have space to spare. + +Half an hour after our arrival, the great dinner-bell +was rung, and I came down with my two pupils (they +are very thin insignificant little chits of ten and eight +years old). I came down in your dear muslin gown +(about which that odious Mrs. Pinner was so rude, +because you gave it me); for I am to be treated as one of +the family, except on company days, when the young +ladies and I are to dine upstairs. + +Well, the great dinner-bell rang, and we all assembled +in the little drawing-room where my Lady Crawley +sits. She is the second Lady Crawley, and mother of the +young ladies. She was an ironmonger's daughter, and +her marriage was thought a great match. She looks as +if she had been handsome once, and her eyes are always +weeping for the loss of her beauty. She is pale and +meagre and high-shouldered, and has not a word to say +for herself, evidently. Her stepson Mr. Crawley, was +likewise in the room. He was in full dress, as pompous +as an undertaker. He is pale, thin, ugly, silent; he has +thin legs, no chest, hay-coloured whiskers, and straw- +coloured hair. He is the very picture of his sainted +mother over the mantelpiece--Griselda of the noble +house of Binkie. + +"This is the new governess, Mr. Crawley," said Lady +Crawley, coming forward and taking my hand. "Miss +Sharp." + +"0!" said Mr. Crawley, and pushed his head once +forward and began again to read a great pamphlet +with which he was busy. + +"I hope you will be kind to my girls," said Lady +Crawley, with her pink eyes always full of tears. + +"Law, Ma, of course she will," said the eldest: and I +saw at a glance that I need not be afraid of THAT woman. +"My lady is served," says the butler in black, in an +immense white shirt-frill, that looked as if it had been +one of the Queen Elizabeth's ruffs depicted in the hall; +and so, taking Mr. Crawley's arm, she led the way to the +dining-room, whither I followed with my little pupils in +each hand. + +Sir Pitt was already in the room with a silver jug. He +had just been to the cellar, and was in full dress too; +that is, he had taken his gaiters off, and showed his little +dumpy legs in black worsted stockings. The sideboard +was covered with glistening old plate--old cups, both +gold and silver; old salvers and cruet-stands, like +Rundell and Bridge's shop. Everything on the table was in +silver too, and two footmen, with red hair and canary- +coloured liveries, stood on either side of the sideboard. + +Mr. Crawley said a long grace, and Sir Pitt said amen, +and the great silver dish-covers were removed. + +"What have we for dinner, Betsy?' said the Baronet. + +"Mutton broth, I believe, Sir Pitt," answered Lady +Crawley. + +"Mouton aux navets," added the butler gravely +(pronounce, if you please, moutongonavvy); "and the +soup is potage de mouton a l'Ecossaise. The side-dishes +contain pommes de terre au naturel, and choufleur a l'eau." + +"Mutton's mutton," said the Baronet, "and a devilish +good thing. What SHIP was it, Horrocks, and when did +you kill?" + +"One of the black-faced Scotch, Sir Pitt: we killed on Thursday. + +"Who took any?" + +"Steel, of Mudbury, took the saddle and two legs, Sir +Pitt; but he says the last was too young and confounded +woolly, Sir Pitt." + +"Will you take some potage, Miss ah--Miss Blunt? +said Mr. Crawley. + +"Capital Scotch broth, my dear," said Sir Pitt, "though +they call it by a French name." + +"I believe it is the custom, sir, in decent society," said +Mr. Crawley, haughtily, "to call the dish as I have called +it"; and it was served to us on silver soup plates by the + +footmen in the canary coats, with the mouton aux +navets. Then "ale and water" were brought, and served +to us young ladies in wine-glasses. I am not a judge of +ale, but I can say with a clear conscience I prefer water. + +While we were enjoying our repast, Sir Pitt took +occasion to ask what had become of the shoulders of +the mutton. + +"I believe they were eaten in the servants' hall," said +my lady, humbly. + +"They was, my lady," said Horrocks, "and precious +little else we get there neither." + +Sir Pitt burst into a horse-laugh, and continued his +conversation with Mr. Horrocks. "That there little black +pig of the Kent sow's breed must be uncommon fat +now." + +"It's not quite busting, Sir Pitt," said the butler with +the gravest air, at which Sir Pitt, and with him the young +ladies, this time, began to laugh violently. + +"Miss Crawley, Miss Rose Crawley," said Mr. Crawley, +"your laughter strikes me as being exceedingly out +of place." + +"Never mind, my lord," said the Baronet, "we'll try +the porker on Saturday. Kill un on Saturday morning, +John Horrocks. Miss Sharp adores pork, don't you, Miss +Sharp?" + +And I think this is all the conversation that I remember +at dinner. When the repast was concluded a jug of +hot water was placed before Sir Pitt, with a case-bottle +containing, I believe, rum. Mr. Horrocks served myself +and my pupils with three little glasses of wine, and a +bumper was poured out for my lady. When we retired, +she took from her work-drawer an enormous interminable +piece of knitting; the young ladies began to play at +cribbage with a dirty pack of cards. We had but one +candle lighted, but it was in a magnificent old silver +candlestick, and after a very few questions from my lady, +I had my choice of amusement between a volume of +sermons, and a pamphlet on the corn-laws, which Mr. +Crawley had been reading before dinner. + +So we sat for an hour until steps were heard. + +"Put away the cards, girls," cried my lady, in a great +tremor; "put down Mr. Crawley's books, Miss Sharp"; +and these orders had been scarcely obeyed, when Mr. +Crawley entered the room. + +"We will resume yesterday's discourse, young ladies," +said he, "and you shall each read a page by turns; so +that Miss a--Miss Short may have an opportunity of +hearing you"; and the poor girls began to spell a long +dismal sermon delivered at Bethesda Chapel, Liverpool, +on behalf of the mission for the Chickasaw Indians. +Was it not a charming evening? + +At ten the servants were told to call Sir Pitt and the +household to prayers. Sir Pitt came in first, very much +flushed, and rather unsteady in his gait; and after him +the butler, the canaries, Mr. Crawley's man, three other +men, smelling very much of the stable, and four women, +one of whom, I remarked, was very much overdressed, +and who flung me a look of great scorn as she plumped +down on her knees. + +After Mr. Crawley had done haranguing and +expounding, we received our candles, and then we +went to bed; and then I was disturbed in my writing, as +I have described to my dearest sweetest Amelia. + +Good night. A thousand, thousand, thousand kisses! + +Saturday.--This morning, at five, I heard the +shrieking of the little black pig. Rose and Violet introduced +me to it yesterday; and to the stables, and to the kennel, +and to the gardener, who was picking fruit to send to +market, and from whom they begged hard a bunch of +hot-house grapes; but he said that Sir Pitt had numbered +every "Man Jack" of them, and it would be as much as +his place was worth to give any away. The darling girls +caught a colt in a paddock, and asked me if I would +ride, and began to ride themselves, when the groom, +coming with horrid oaths, drove them away. + +Lady Crawley is always knitting the worsted. Sir Pitt +is always tipsy, every night; and, I believe, sits with +Horrocks, the butler. Mr. Crawley always reads sermons +in the evening, and in the morning is locked up in his +study, or else rides to Mudbury, on county business, +or to Squashmore, where he preaches, on Wednesdays +and Fridays, to the tenants there. + +A hundred thousand grateful loves to your dear papa +and mamma. Is your poor brother recovered of his rack- +punch? Oh, dear! Oh, dear! How men should beware of +wicked punch! + +Ever and ever thine own +REBECCA + +Everything considered, I think it is quite as well for +our dear Amelia Sedley, in Russell Square, that Miss +Sharp and she are parted. Rebecca is a droll funny +creature, to be sure; and those descriptions of the poor lady +weeping for the loss of her beauty, and the gentleman +"with hay-coloured whiskers and straw-coloured hair," +are very smart, doubtless, and show a great knowledge +of the world. That she might, when on her knees, have +been thinking of something better than Miss Horrocks's +ribbons, has possibly struck both of us. But my kind +reader will please to remember that this history has +"Vanity Fair" for a title, and that Vanity Fair is a +very vain, wicked, foolish place, full of all sorts of +humbugs and falsenesses and pretensions. And while the +moralist, who is holding forth on the cover ( an accurate +portrait of your humble servant), professes to wear +neither gown nor bands, but only the very same long- +eared livery in which his congregation is arrayed: yet, +look you, one is bound to speak the truth as far as one +knows it, whether one mounts a cap and bells or a shovel +hat; and a deal of disagreeable matter must come out +in the course of such an undertaking. + +I have heard a brother of the story-telling trade, at +Naples, preaching to a pack of good-for-nothing honest +lazy fellows by the sea-shore, work himself up into such a +rage and passion with some of the villains whose wicked +deeds he was describing and inventing, that the audience +could not resist it; and they and the poet together would +burst out into a roar of oaths and execrations against +the fictitious monster of the tale, so that the hat went +round, and the bajocchi tumbled into it, in the midst of +a perfect storm of sympathy. + +At the little Paris theatres, on the other hand, you will +not only hear the people yelling out "Ah gredin! Ah +monstre:" and cursing the tyrant of the play from the +boxes; but the actors themselves positively refuse to play +the wicked parts, such as those of infames Anglais, +brutal Cossacks, and what not, and prefer to appear +at a smaller salary, in their real characters as loyal +Frenchmen. I set the two stories one against the other, +so that you may see that it is not from mere mercenary +motives that the present performer is desirous to show +up and trounce his villains; but because he has a sincere +hatred of them, which he cannot keep down, and which +must find a vent in suitable abuse and bad language. + +I warn my "kyind friends," then, that I am going to +tell a story of harrowing villainy and complicated--but, +as I trust, intensely interesting--crime. My rascals are +no milk-and-water rascals, I promise you. When we come +to the proper places we won't spare fine language--No, +no! But when we are going over the quiet country we +must perforce be calm. A tempest in a slop-basin is +absurd. We will reserve that sort of thing for the mighty +ocean and the lonely midnight. The present Chapter is +very mild. Others--But we will not anticipate THOSE. + +And, as we bring our characters forward, I will ask +leave, as a man and a brother, not only to introduce +them, but occasionally to step down from the platform, +and talk about them: if they are good and kindly, to +love them and shake them by the hand: if they are silly, +to laugh at them confidentially in the reader's sleeve: +if they are wicked and heartless, to abuse them in the +strongest terms which politeness admits of. + +Otherwise you might fancy it was I who was sneering +at the practice of devotion, which Miss Sharp finds so +ridiculous; that it was I who laughed good-humouredly +at the reeling old Silenus of a baronet--whereas the +laughter comes from one who has no reverence except +for prosperity, and no eye for anything beyond success. +Such people there are living and flourishing in the world +--Faithless, Hopeless, Charityless: let us have at them, +dear friends, with might and main. Some there are, and +very successful too, mere quacks and fools: and it was +to combat and expose such as those, no doubt, that +Laughter was made. + + + + +CHAPTER IX + + +Family Portraits + +Sir Pitt Crawley was a philosopher with a taste for what is +called low life. His first marriage with the daughter of +the noble Binkie had been made under the auspices of +his parents; and as he often told Lady Crawley in her +lifetime she was such a confounded quarrelsome high-bred +jade that when she died he was hanged if he would ever take +another of her sort, at her ladyship's demise he kept his +promise, and selected for a second wife Miss Rose Dawson, +daughter of Mr. John Thomas Dawson, ironmonger, of Mudbury. +What a happy woman was Rose to be my Lady Crawley! + +Let us set down the items of her happiness. In the +first place, she gave up Peter Butt, a young man who +kept company with her, and in consequence of his +disappointment in love, took to smuggling, poaching, and a +thousand other bad courses. Then she quarrelled, as in +duty bound, with all the friends and intimates of her youth, +who, of course, could not be received by my Lady at +Queen's Crawley--nor did she find in her new rank and +abode any persons who were willing to welcome her. +Who ever did? Sir Huddleston Fuddleston had three +daughters who all hoped to be Lady Crawley. Sir Giles +Wapshot's family were insulted that one of the Wapshot +girls had not the preference in the marriage, and the +remaining baronets of the county were indignant at their +comrade's misalliance. Never mind the commoners, whom +we will leave to grumble anonymously. + +Sir Pitt did not care, as he said, a brass farden for +any one of them. He had his pretty Rose, and what +more need a man require than to please himself? So he +used to get drunk every night: to beat his pretty Rose +sometimes: to leave her in Hampshire when he went to +London for the parliamentary session, without a single +friend in the wide world. Even Mrs. Bute Crawley, the +Rector's wife, refused to visit her, as she said she would +never give the pas to a tradesman's daughter. + +As the only endowments with which Nature had gifted +Lady Crawley were those of pink cheeks and a white +skin, and as she had no sort of character, nor talents, +nor opinions, nor occupations, nor amusements, nor that +vigour of soul and ferocity of temper which often falls +to the lot of entirely foolish women, her hold upon Sir +Pitt's affections was not very great. Her roses faded out +of her cheeks, and the pretty freshness left her figure +after the birth of a couple of children, and she became +a mere machine in her husband's house of no more use +than the late Lady Crawley's grand piano. Being a light- +complexioned woman, she wore light clothes, as most +blondes will, and appeared, in preference, in draggled sea- +green, or slatternly sky-blue. She worked that worsted +day and night, or other pieces like it. She had +counterpanes in the course of a few years to all the beds in +Crawley. She had a small flower-garden, for which she +had rather an affection; but beyond this no other like +or disliking. When her husband was rude to her she was +apathetic: whenever he struck her she cried. She had not +character enough to take to drinking, and moaned about, +slipshod and in curl-papers all day. 0 Vanity Fair-- +Vanity Fair! This might have been, but for you, a cheery +lass--Peter Butt and Rose a happy man and wife, in a +snug farm, with a hearty family; and an honest portion +of pleasures, cares, hopes and struggles--but a title and +a coach and four are toys more precious than happiness +in Vanity Fair: and if Harry the Eighth or Bluebeard +were alive now, and wanted a tenth wife, do you suppose +he could not get the prettiest girl that shall be presented +this season? + +The languid dulness of their mamma did not, as it +may be supposed, awaken much affection in her little +daughters, but they were very happy in the servants' hall +and in the stables; and the Scotch gardener having +luckily a good wife and some good children, they got a +little wholesome society and instruction in his lodge, +which was the only education bestowed upon them until +Miss Sharp came. + +Her engagement was owing to the remonstrances of +Mr. Pitt Crawley, the only friend or protector Lady +Crawley ever had, and the only person, besides her +children, for whom she entertained a little feeble +attachment. Mr. Pitt took after the noble Binkies, from +whom he was descended, and was a very polite and proper +gentleman. When he grew to man's estate, and came +back from Christchurch, he began to reform the +slackened discipline of the hall, in spite of his father, who +stood in awe of him. He was a man of such rigid +refinement, that he would have starved rather than have +dined without a white neckcloth. Once, when just from +college, and when Horrocks the butler brought him a +letter without placing it previously on a tray, he gave +that domestic a look, and administered to him a speech +so cutting, that Horrocks ever after trembled before him; +the whole household bowed to him: Lady Crawley's curl- +papers came off earlier when he was at home: Sir Pitt's +muddy gaiters disappeared; and if that incorrigible old +man still adhered to other old habits, he never fuddled +himself with rum-and-water in his son's presence, and +only talked to his servants in a very reserved and polite +manner; and those persons remarked that Sir Pitt never +swore at Lady Crawley while his son was in the room. + +It was he who taught the butler to say, "My lady is +served," and who insisted on handing her ladyship in to +dinner. He seldom spoke to her, but when he did it was +with the most powerful respect; and he never let her +quit the apartment without rising in the most stately +manner to open the door, and making an elegant bow +at her egress. + +At Eton he was called Miss Crawley; and there, I +am sorry to say, his younger brother Rawdon used to +lick him violently. But though his parts were not +brilliant, he made up for his lack of talent by meritorious +industry, and was never known, during eight years at +school, to be subject to that punishment which it is +generally thought none but a cherub can escape. + +At college his career was of course highly creditable. +And here he prepared himself for public life, into which +he was to be introduced by the patronage of his +grandfather, Lord Binkie, by studying the ancient and modern +orators with great assiduity, and by speaking unceasingly +at the debating societies. But though he had a fine flux +of words, and delivered his little voice with great +pomposity and pleasure to himself, and never advanced +any sentiment or opinion which was not perfectly trite and +stale, and supported by a Latin quotation; yet he failed +somehow, in spite of a mediocrity which ought to have +insured any man a success. He did not even get the +prize poem, which all his friends said he was sure of. + +After leaving college he became Private Secretary to +Lord Binkie, and was then appointed Attache to the +Legation at Pumpernickel, which post he filled with +perfect honour, and brought home despatches, consisting of +Strasburg pie, to the Foreign Minister of the day. After +remaining ten years Attache (several years after the +lamented Lord Binkie's demise), and finding the +advancement slow, he at length gave up the diplomatic +service in some disgust, and began to turn country gentleman. + +He wrote a pamphlet on Malt on returning to England +(for he was an ambitious man, and always liked +to be before the public), and took a strong part in the +Negro Emancipation question. Then he became a friend +of Mr. Wilberforce's, whose politics he admired, and had +that famous correspondence with the Reverend Silas +Hornblower, on the Ashantee Mission. He was in +London, if not for the Parliament session, at least in May, +for the religious meetings. In the country he was a +magistrate, and an active visitor and speaker among those +destitute of religious instruction. He was said to be +paying his addresses to Lady Jane Sheepshanks, Lord +Southdown's third daughter, and whose sister, Lady Emily, +wrote those sweet tracts, "The Sailor's True Binnacle," +and "The Applewoman of Finchley Common." + +Miss Sharp's accounts of his employment at Queen's +Crawley were not caricatures. He subjected the servants +there to the devotional exercises before mentioned, in +which (and so much the better) he brought his father +to join. He patronised an Independent meeting-house in +Crawley parish, much to the indignation of his uncle the +Rector, and to the consequent delight of Sir Pitt, who +was induced to go himself once or twice, which occasioned +some violent sermons at Crawley parish church, directed +point-blank at the Baronet's old Gothic pew there. Honest +Sir Pitt, however, did not feel the force of these +discourses, as he always took his nap during sermon-time. + +Mr. Crawley was very earnest, for the good of the +nation and of the Christian world, that the old gentleman +should yield him up his place in Parliament; but this the +elder constantly refused to do. Both were of course too +prudent to give up the fifteen hundred a year which was +brought in by the second seat (at this period filled by +Mr. Quadroon, with carte blanche on the Slave question); +indeed the family estate was much embarrassed, and the +income drawn from the borough was of great use to the +house of Queen's Crawley. + +It had never recovered the heavy fine imposed upon +Walpole Crawley, first baronet, for peculation in the Tape +and Sealing Wax Office. Sir Walpole was a jolly fellow, +eager to seize and to spend money (alieni appetens, sui +profusus, as Mr. Crawley would remark with a sigh), +and in his day beloved by all the county for the +constant drunkenness and hospitality which was maintained +at Queen's Crawley. The cellars were filled with burgundy +then, the kennels with hounds, and the stables with +gallant hunters; now, such horses as Queen's Crawley +possessed went to plough, or ran in the Trafalgar Coach; +and it was with a team of these very horses, on an off- +day, that Miss Sharp was brought to the Hall; for boor +as he was, Sir Pitt was a stickler for his dignity while +at home, and seldom drove out but with four horses, +and though he dined off boiled mutton, had always three +footmen to serve it. + +If mere parsimony could have made a man rich, Sir +Pitt Crawley might have become very wealthy--if he +had been an attorney in a country town, with no capital +but his brains, it is very possible that he would have +turned them to good account, and might have achieved +for himself a very considerable influence and competency. +But he was unluckily endowed with a good name +and a large though encumbered estate, both of which +went rather to injure than to advance him. He had a +taste for law, which cost him many thousands yearly; +and being a great deal too clever to be robbed, as he +said, by any single agent, allowed his affairs to be +mismanaged by a dozen, whom he all equally mistrusted. +He was such a sharp landlord, that he could hardly find +any but bankrupt tenants; and such a close farmer, as +to grudge almost the seed to the ground, whereupon +revengeful Nature grudged him the crops which she +granted to more liberal husbandmen. He speculated in +every possible way; he worked mines; bought canal-shares; +horsed coaches; took government contracts, and was +the busiest man and magistrate of his county. As he +would not pay honest agents at his granite quarry, he +had the satisfaction of finding that four overseers ran +away, and took fortunes with them to America. For want +of proper precautions, his coal-mines filled with water: +the government flung his contract of damaged beef upon +his hands: and for his coach-horses, every mail proprietor +in the kingdom knew that he lost more horses than any +man in the country, from underfeeding and buying cheap. +In disposition he was sociable, and far from being proud; +nay, he rather preferred the society of a farmer or a +horse-dealer to that of a gentleman, like my lord, his +son: he was fond of drink, of swearing, of joking with +the farmers' daughters: he was never known to give away +a shilling or to do a good action, but was of a pleasant, +sly, laughing mood, and would cut his joke and drink +his glass with a tenant and sell him up the next day; +or have his laugh with the poacher he was transporting +with equal good humour. His politeness for the fair sex +has already been hinted at by Miss Rebecca Sharp--in +a word, the whole baronetage, peerage, commonage of +England, did not contain a more cunning, mean, selfish, +foolish, disreputable old man. That blood-red hand of +Sir Pitt Crawley's would be in anybody's pocket except +his own; and it is with grief and pain, that, as admirers +of the British aristocracy, we find ourselves obliged to +admit the existence of so many ill qualities in a person +whose name is in Debrett. + +One great cause why Mr. Crawley had such a hold +over the affections of his father, resulted from money +arrangements. The Baronet owed his son a sum of money +out of the jointure of his mother, which he did not find +it convenient to pay; indeed he had an almost invincible +repugnance to paying anybody, and could only be brought +by force to discharge his debts. Miss Sharp calculated +(for she became, as we shall hear speedily, inducted +into most of the secrets of the family) that the mere +payment of his creditors cost the honourable Baronet +several hundreds yearly; but this was a delight he could +not forego; he had a savage pleasure in making the poor +wretches wait, and in shifting from court to court and +from term to term the period of satisfaction. What's the +good of being in Parliament, he said, if you must pay your +debts? Hence, indeed, his position as a senator was not +a little useful to him. + +Vanity Fair--Vanity Fair! Here was a man, who could +not spell, and did not care to read--who had the habits +and the cunning of a boor: whose aim in life was +pettifogging: who never had a taste, or emotion, or +enjoyment, but what was sordid and foul; and yet he had +rank, and honours, and power, somehow: and was a +dignitary of the land, and a pillar of the state. He was +high sheriff, and rode in a golden coach. Great ministers +and statesmen courted him; and in Vanity Fair he had a +higher place than the most brilliant genius or spotless +virtue. + +Sir Pitt had an unmarried half-sister who inherited her +mother's large fortune, and though the Baronet proposed +to borrow this money of her on mortgage, Miss Crawley +declined the offer, and preferred the security of the funds. +She had signified, however, her intention of leaving her +inheritance between Sir Pitt's second son and the family +at the Rectory, and had once or twice paid the debts of +Rawdon Crawley in his career at college and in the army. +Miss Crawley was, in consequence, an object of great +respect when she came to Queen's Crawley, for she had +a balance at her banker's which would have made her +beloved anywhere. + +What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at +the banker's! How tenderly we look at her faults if she +is a relative (and may every reader have a score of such), +what a kind good-natured old creature we find her! How +the junior partner of Hobbs and Dobbs leads her smiling +to the carriage with the lozenge upon it, and the fat +wheezy coachman! How, when she comes to pay us a +visit, we generally find an opportunity to let our friends +know her station in the world! We say (and with perfect +truth) I wish I had Miss MacWhirter's signature to a +cheque for five thousand pounds. She wouldn't miss it, +says your wife. She is my aunt, say you, in an easy +careless way, when your friend asks if Miss MacWhirter is +any relative. Your wife is perpetually sending her little +testimonies of affection, your little girls work endless +worsted baskets, cushions, and footstools for her. What a +good fire there is in her room when she comes to pay +you a visit, although your wife laces her stays without +one! The house during her stay assumes a festive, neat, +warm, jovial, snug appearance not visible at other +seasons. You yourself, dear sir, forget to go to sleep after +dinner, and find yourself all of a sudden (though you +invariably lose) very fond of a rubber. What good +dinners you have--game every day, Malmsey-Madeira, and +no end of fish from London. Even the servants in the +kitchen share in the general prosperity; and, somehow, +during the stay of Miss MacWhirter's fat coachman, the +beer is grown much stronger, and the consumption of tea +and sugar in the nursery (where her maid takes her +meals) is not regarded in the least. Is it so, or is it not +so? I appeal to the middle classes. Ah, gracious powers! +I wish you would send me an old aunt--a maiden aunt +--an aunt with a lozenge on her carriage, and a front +of light coffee-coloured hair--how my children should +work workbags for her, and my Julia and I would make +her comfortable! Sweet--sweet vision! Foolish--foolish +dream! + + + + +CHAPTER X + + +Miss Sharp Begins to Make Friends + +And now, being received as a member of the amiable +family whose portraits we have sketched in the foregoing +pages, it became naturally Rebecca's duty to make +herself, as she said, agreeable to her benefactors, and to +gain their confidence to the utmost of her power. Who +can but admire this quality of gratitude in an unprotected +orphan; and, if there entered some degree of selfishness +into her calculations, who can say but that her +prudence was perfectly justifiable? "I am alone in the +world," said the friendless girl. "I have nothing to look +for but what my own labour can bring me; and while +that little pink-faced chit Amelia, with not half my sense, +has ten thousand pounds and an establishment secure, +poor Rebecca (and my figure is far better than hers) +has only herself and her own wits to trust to. Well, let +us see if my wits cannot provide me with an honourable +maintenance, and if some day or the other I cannot show +Miss Amelia my real superiority over her. Not that I +dislike poor Amelia: who can dislike such a harmless, +good-natured creature?--only it will be a fine day when +I can take my place above her in the world, as why, +indeed, should I not?" Thus it was that our little +romantic friend formed visions of the future for herself-- +nor must we be scandalised that, in all her castles in +the air, a husband was the principal inhabitant. Of +what else have young ladies to think, but husbands? Of +what else do their dear mammas think? "I must be my +own mamma," said Rebecca; not without a tingling +consciousness of defeat, as she thought over her little +misadventure with Jos Sedley. + +So she wisely determined to render her position with +the Queen's Crawley family comfortable and secure, and +to this end resolved to make friends of every one around +her who could at all interfere with her comfort. + +As my Lady Crawley was not one of these personages, +and a woman, moreover, so indolent and void of +character as not to be of the least consequence in her own +house, Rebecca soon found that it was not at all necessary +to cultivate her good will--indeed, impossible to gain it. She +used to talk to her pupils about their "poor mamma"; and, +though she treated that lady with every demonstration +of cool respect, it was to the rest of the family that she +wisely directed the chief part of her attentions. + +With the young people, whose applause she thoroughly +gained, her method was pretty simple. She did not +pester their young brains with too much learning, but, +on the contrary, let them have their own way in +regard to educating themselves; for what instruction is more +effectual than self-instruction? The eldest was rather fond +of books, and as there was in the old library at Queen's +Crawley a considerable provision of works of light +literature of the last century, both in the French and English +languages (they had been purchased by the Secretary +of the Tape and Sealing Wax Office at the period of his +disgrace), and as nobody ever troubled the book-shelves +but herself, Rebecca was enabled agreeably, and, as +it were, in playing, to impart a great deal of instruction +to Miss Rose Crawley. + +She and Miss Rose thus read together many delightful +French and English works, among which may be +mentioned those of the learned Dr. Smollett, of the ingenious +Mr. Henry Fielding, of the graceful and fantastic +Monsieur Crebillon the younger, whom our immortal poet +Gray so much admired, and of the universal Monsieur de +Voltaire. Once, when Mr. Crawley asked what the young +people were reading, the governess replied "Smollett." +"Oh, Smollett," said Mr. Crawley, quite satisfied. "His +history is more dull, but by no means so dangerous as +that of Mr. Hume. It is history you are reading?" "Yes," +said Miss Rose; without, however, adding that it was the +history of Mr. Humphrey Clinker. On another occasion +he was rather scandalised at finding his sister with a +book of French plays; but as the governess remarked +that it was for the purpose of acquiring the French idiom +in conversation, he was fain to be content. Mr. Crawley, +as a diplomatist, was exceedingly proud of his own skill +in speaking the French language (for he was of the world +still), and not a little pleased with the compliments which +the governess continually paid him upon his proficiency. + +Miss Violet's tastes were, on the contrary, more rude +and boisterous than those of her sister. She knew the +sequestered spots where the hens laid their eggs. She +could climb a tree to rob the nests of the feathered +songsters of their speckled spoils. And her pleasure was to +ride the young colts, and to scour the plains like Camilla. +She was the favourite of her father and of the stablemen. +She was the darling, and withal the terror of the +cook; for she discovered the haunts of the jam-pots, and +would attack them when they were within her reach. +She and her sister were engaged in constant battles. Any +of which peccadilloes, if Miss Sharp discovered, she did +not tell them to Lady Crawley; who would have told +them to the father, or worse, to Mr. Crawley; but +promised not to tell if Miss Violet would be a good girl +and love her governess. + +With Mr. Crawley Miss Sharp was respectful and +obedient. She used to consult him on passages of French +which she could not understand, though her mother was +a Frenchwoman, and which he would construe to her +satisfaction: and, besides giving her his aid in profane +literature, he was kind enough to select for her books +of a more serious tendency, and address to her much of +his conversation. She admired, beyond measure, his +speech at the Quashimaboo-Aid Society; took an +interest in his pamphlet on malt: was often affected, even +to tears, by his discourses of an evening, and would +say--"Oh, thank you, sir," with a sigh, and a look up +to heaven, that made him occasionally condescend to +shake hands with her. "Blood is everything, after all," +would that aristocratic religionist say. "How Miss Sharp +is awakened by my words, when not one of the people +here is touched. I am too fine for them--too delicate. +I must familiarise my style--but she understands it. Her +mother was a Montmorency." + +Indeed it was from this famous family, as it appears, +that Miss Sharp, by the mother's side, was descended. +Of course she did not say that her mother had been on +the stage; it would have shocked Mr. Crawley's religious +scruples. How many noble emigres had this horrid +revolution plunged in poverty! She had several stories +about her ancestors ere she had been many months in +the house; some of which Mr. Crawley happened to find +in D'Hozier's dictionary, which was in the library, and +which strengthened his belief in their truth, and in the +high-breeding of Rebecca. Are we to suppose from this +curiosity and prying into dictionaries, could our heroine +suppose that Mr. Crawley was interested in her?--no, +only in a friendly way. Have we not stated that he was +attached to Lady Jane Sheepshanks? + +He took Rebecca to task once or twice about the +propriety of playing at backgammon with Sir Pitt, saying +that it was a godless amusement, and that she would be +much better engaged in reading "Thrump's Legacy," or +"The Blind Washerwoman of Moorfields," or any work +of a more serious nature; but Miss Sharp said her dear +mother used often to play the same game with the old +Count de Trictrac and the venerable Abbe du Cornet, +and so found an excuse for this and other worldly +amusements. + +But it was not only by playing at backgammon with +the Baronet, that the little governess rendered herself +agreeable to her employer. She found many different +ways of being useful to him. She read over, with +indefatigable patience, all those law papers, with which, +before she came to Queen's Crawley, he had promised +to entertain her. She volunteered to copy many of his +letters, and adroitly altered the spelling of them so as +to suit the usages of the present day. She became +interested in everything appertaining to the estate, to the +farm, the park, the garden, and the stables; and so delightful +a companion was she, that the Baronet would seldom +take his after-breakfast walk without her (and the +children of course), when she would give her advice as to +the trees which were to be lopped in the shrubberies, the +garden-beds to be dug, the crops which were to be cut, +the horses which were to go to cart or plough. Before +she had been a year at Queen's Crawley she had quite +won the Baronet's confidence; and the conversation at the +dinner-table, which before used to be held between him +and Mr. Horrocks the butler, was now almost exclusively +between Sir Pitt and Miss Sharp. She was almost +mistress of the house when Mr. Crawley was absent, but +conducted herself in her new and exalted situation with +such circumspection and modesty as not to offend the +authorities of the kitchen and stable, among whom her +behaviour was always exceedingly modest and affable. She +was quite a different person from the haughty, shy, +dissatisfied little girl whom we have known previously, and +this change of temper proved great prudence, a sincere +desire of amendment, or at any rate great moral courage +on her part. Whether it was the heart which dictated this +new system of complaisance and humility adopted by our +Rebecca, is to be proved by her after-history. A system +of hypocrisy, which lasts through whole years, is one +seldom satisfactorily practised by a person of one-and- +twenty; however, our readers will recollect, that, though +young in years, our heroine was old in life and experience, +and we have written to no purpose if they have not +discovered that she was a very clever woman. + +The elder and younger son of the house of Crawley +were, like the gentleman and lady in the weather-box, +never at home together--they hated each other cordially: +indeed, Rawdon Crawley, the dragoon, had a great +contempt for the establishment altogether, and seldom came +thither except when his aunt paid her annual visit. + +The great good quality of this old lady has been +mentioned. She possessed seventy thousand pounds, and +had almost adopted Rawdon. She disliked her elder nephew +exceedingly, and despised him as a milksop. In return +he did not hesitate to state that her soul was irretrievably +lost, and was of opinion that his brother's chance +in the next world was not a whit better. "She is a +godless woman of the world," would Mr. Crawley say; "she +lives with atheists and Frenchmen. My mind shudders +when I think of her awful, awful situation, and that, +near as she is to the grave, she should be so given up +to vanity, licentiousness, profaneness, and folly." In fact, +the old lady declined altogether to hear his hour's lecture +of an evening; and when she came to Queen's Crawley +alone, he was obliged to pretermit his usual devotional +exercises. + +"Shut up your sarmons, Pitt, when Miss Crawley +comes down," said his father; "she has written to say +that she won't stand the preachifying." + +"O, sir! consider the servants." + +"The servants be hanged," said Sir Pitt; and his son +thought even worse would happen were they deprived of +the benefit of his instruction. + +"Why, hang it, Pitt!" said the father to his remonstrance. +"You wouldn't be such a flat as to let three thousand a +year go out of the family?" + +"What is money compared to our souls, sir?" continued +Mr. Crawley. + +"You mean that the old lady won't leave the money +to you?"--and who knows but it was Mr. Crawley's +meaning? + +Old Miss Crawley was certainly one of the reprobate. +She had a snug little house in Park Lane, and, as she ate +and drank a great deal too much during the season in +London, she went to Harrowgate or Cheltenham for +the summer. She was the most hospitable and jovial of +old vestals, and had been a beauty in her day, she said. +(All old women were beauties once, we very well know.) +She was a bel esprit, and a dreadful Radical for those +days. She had been in France (where St. Just, they say, +inspired her with an unfortunate passion), and loved, +ever after, French novels, French cookery, and French +wines. She read Voltaire, and had Rousseau by heart; +talked very lightly about divorce, and most energetically +of the rights of women. She had pictures of Mr. Fox +in every room in the house: when that statesman was +in opposition, I am not sure that she had not flung a +main with him; and when he came into office, she took +great credit for bringing over to him Sir Pitt and his +colleague for Queen's Crawley, although Sir Pitt would +have come over himself, without any trouble on the honest +lady's part. It is needless to say that Sir Pitt was brought +to change his views after the death of the great Whig +statesman. + +This worthy old lady took a fancy to Rawdon Crawley +when a boy, sent him to Cambridge (in opposition to +his brother at Oxford), and, when the young man was +requested by the authorities of the first-named University +to quit after a residence of two years, she bought him +his commission in the Life Guards Green. + +A perfect and celebrated "blood," or dandy about town, +was this young officer. Boxing, rat-hunting, the fives court, +and four-in-hand driving were then the fashion of our +British aristocracy; and he was an adept in all these +noble sciences. And though he belonged to the +household troops, who, as it was their duty to rally round the +Prince Regent, had not shown their valour in foreign +service yet, Rawdon Crawley had already (apropos of +play, of which he was immoderately fond) fought three +bloody duels, in which he gave ample proofs of his +contempt for death. + +"And for what follows after death," would Mr. +Crawley observe, throwing his gooseberry-coloured eyes +up to the ceiling. He was always thinking of his brother's +soul, or of the souls of those who differed with him in +opinion: it is a sort of comfort which many of the +serious give themselves. + +Silly, romantic Miss Crawley, far from being horrified +at the courage of her favourite, always used to pay his +debts after his duels; and would not listen to a word +that was whispered against his morality. "He will sow +his wild oats," she would say, "and is worth far more +than that puling hypocrite of a brother of his." + + + + +CHAPTER XI + + +Arcadian Simplicity + +Besides these honest folks at the Hall (whose simplicity +and sweet rural purity surely show the advantage of a +country life over a town one), we must introduce the +reader to their relatives and neighbours at the Rectory, +Bute Crawley and his wife. + +The Reverend Bute Crawley was a tall, stately, jolly, +shovel-hatted man, far more popular in his county than +the Baronet his brother. At college he pulled stroke-oar +in the Christchurch boat, and had thrashed all the best +bruisers of the "town." He carried his taste for boxing +and athletic exercises into private life; there was not a +fight within twenty miles at which he was not present, +nor a race, nor a coursing match, nor a regatta, nor a +ball, nor an election, nor a visitation dinner, nor indeed +a good dinner in the whole county, but he found means +to attend it. You might see his bay mare and gig-lamps +a score of miles away from his Rectory House, whenever +there was any dinner-party at Fuddleston, or at Roxby, +or at Wapshot Hall, or at the great lords of the county, +with all of whom he was intimate. He had a fine voice; +sang "A southerly wind and a cloudy sky"; and gave +the "whoop" in chorus with general applause. He rode +to hounds in a pepper-and-salt frock, and was one of the +best fishermen in the county. + +Mrs. Crawley, the rector's wife, was a smart little body, +who wrote this worthy divine's sermons. Being of a +domestic turn, and keeping the house a great deal with her +daughters, she ruled absolutely within the Rectory, wisely +giving her husband full liberty without. He was welcome +to come and go, and dine abroad as many days as his +fancy dictated, for Mrs. Crawley was a saving woman and +knew the price of port wine. Ever since Mrs. Bute carried +off the young Rector of Queen's Crawley (she was of a +good family, daughter of the late Lieut.-Colonel +Hector McTavish, and she and her mother played for +Bute and won him at Harrowgate), she had been a prudent +and thrifty wife to him. In spite of her care, however, he +was always in debt. It took him at least ten years to pay +off his college bills contracted during his father's lifetime. +In the year 179-, when he was just clear of these +incumbrances, he gave the odds of 100 to 1 (in twenties) +against Kangaroo, who won the Derby. The Rector was +obliged to take up the money at a ruinous interest, and +had been struggling ever since. His sister helped him with +a hundred now and then, but of course his great hope was +in her death--when "hang it" (as he would say), "Matilda +must leave me half her money." + +So that the Baronet and his brother had every reason +which two brothers possibly can have for being by the +ears. Sir Pitt had had the better of Bute in innumerable +family transactions. Young Pitt not only did not hunt, but +set up a meeting house under his uncle's very nose. +Rawdon, it was known, was to come in for the bulk of Miss +Crawley's property. These money transactions--these +speculations in life and death--these silent battles for +reversionary spoil--make brothers very loving towards +each other in Vanity Fair. I, for my part, have known a +five-pound note to interpose and knock up a half century's +attachment between two brethren; and can't but admire, +as I think what a fine and durable thing Love is among +worldly people. + +It cannot be supposed that the arrival of such a +personage as Rebecca at Queen's Crawley, and her gradual +establishment in the good graces of all people there, could +be unremarked by Mrs. Bute Crawley. Mrs. Bute, who +knew how many days the sirloin of beef lasted at the Hall; +how much linen was got ready at the great wash; how +many peaches were on the south wall; how many doses +her ladyship took when she was ill--for such points are +matters of intense interest to certain persons in the +country--Mrs. Bute, I say, could not pass over the Hall +governess without making every inquiry respecting her +history and character. There was always the best understanding +between the servants at the Rectory and the Hall. +There was always a good glass of ale in the kitchen of the +former place for the Hall people, whose ordinary drink +was very small--and, indeed, the Rector's lady knew +exactly how much malt went to every barrel of Hall beer-- +ties of relationship existed between the Hall and Rectory +domestics, as between their masters; and through these +channels each family was perfectly well acquainted with +the doings of the other. That, by the way, may be set +down as a general remark. When you and your brother +are friends, his doings are indifferent to you. When you +have quarrelled, all his outgoings and incomings you +know, as if you were his spy. + +Very soon then after her arrival, Rebecca began to take +a regular place in Mrs. Crawley's bulletin from the Hall. +It was to this effect: "The black porker's killed--weighed +x stone--salted the sides--pig's pudding and leg of pork +for dinner. Mr. Cramp from Mudbury, over with Sir Pitt +about putting John Blackmore in gaol--Mr. Pitt at +meeting (with all the names of the people who attended)-- +my lady as usual--the young ladies with the governess." + +Then the report would come--the new governess be a +rare manager--Sir Pitt be very sweet on her--Mr. +Crawley too--He be reading tracts to her--"What an +abandoned wretch!" said little, eager, active, black-faced Mrs. +Bute Crawley. + +Finally, the reports were that the governess had "come +round" everybody, wrote Sir Pitt's letters, did his business, +managed his accounts--had the upper hand of the whole +house, my lady, Mr. Crawley, the girls and all--at which +Mrs. Crawley declared she was an artful hussy, and had +some dreadful designs in view. Thus the doings at the +Hall were the great food for conversation at the Rectory, +and Mrs. Bute's bright eyes spied out everything that took +place in the enemy's camp--everything and a great deal +besides. + +Mrs. Bute Crawley to Miss Pinkerton, +The Mall, Chiswick. + +Rectory, Queen's Crawley, December--. + +My Dear Madam,--Although it is so many years since +I profited by your delightful and invaluable instructions, +yet I have ever retained the FONDEST and most reverential +regard for Miss Pinkerton, and DEAR Chiswick. I hope +your health is GOOD. The world and the cause of +education cannot afford to lose Miss Pinkerton for MANY MANY +YEARS. When my friend, Lady Fuddleston, mentioned that +her dear girls required an instructress (I am too poor to +engage a governess for mine, but was I not educated at +Chiswick?)--"Who," I exclaimed, "can we consult but +the excellent, the incomparable Miss Pinkerton?" In a +word, have you, dear madam, any ladies on your list, +whose services might be made available to my kind +friend and neighbour? I assure you she will take no +governess BUT OF YOUR CHOOSING. + +My dear husband is pleased to say that he likes +EVERYTHING WHICH COMES FROM MISS PINKERTON'S +SCHOOL. How I wish I could present him and my beloved +girls to the friend of my youth, and the ADMIRED of the +great lexicographer of our country! If you ever travel into +Hampshire, Mr. Crawley begs me to say, he hopes you will +adorn our RURAL RECTORY with your presence. 'Tis the +humble but happy home of + +Your affectionate +Martha Crawley + +P.S. Mr. Crawley's brother, the baronet, with whom +we are not, alas! upon those terms of UNITY in which it +BECOMES BRETHREN TO DWELL, has a governess for his +little girls, who, I am told, had the good fortune to be +educated at Chiswick. I hear various reports of her; +and as I have the tenderest interest in my dearest little +nieces, whom I wish, in spite of family differences, to +see among my own children--and as I long to be +attentive to ANY PUPIL OF YOURS--do, my dear Miss +Pinkerton, tell me the history of this young lady, whom, +for YOUR SAKE, I am most anxious to befriend.--M. C. + +Miss Pinkerton to Mrs. Bute Crawley. + +Johnson House, Chiswick, Dec. 18--. + +Dear Madam,--I have the honour to acknowledge +your polite communication, to which I promptly reply. +'Tis most gratifying to one in my most arduous position +to find that my maternal cares have elicited a responsive +affection; and to recognize in the amiable Mrs. Bute +Crawley my excellent pupil of former years, the sprightly +and accomplished Miss Martha MacTavish. I am happy +to have under my charge now the daughters of many of +those who were your contemporaries at my establishment +--what pleasure it would give me if your own +beloved young ladies had need of my instructive +superintendence! + +Presenting my respectful compliments to Lady +Fuddleston, I have the honour (epistolarily) to introduce +to her ladyship my two friends, Miss Tuffin and Miss Hawky. + +Either of these young ladies is PERFECTLY QUALIFIED to +instruct in Greek, Latin, and the rudiments of Hebrew; +in mathematics and history; in Spanish, French, Italian, +and geography; in music, vocal and instrumental; in +dancing, without the aid of a master; and in the +elements of natural sciences. In the use of the globes both +are proficients. In addition to these Miss Tuffin, who is +daughter of the late Reverend Thomas Tuffin (Fellow +of Corpus College, Cambridge), can instruct in the +Syriac language, and the elements of Constitutional law. +But as she is only eighteen years of age, and of +exceedingly pleasing personal appearance, perhaps this +young lady may be objectionable in Sir Huddleston +Fuddleston's family. + +Miss Letitia Hawky, on the other hand, is not +personally well-favoured. She is-twenty-nine; her face +is much pitted with the small-pox. She has a halt in her +gait, red hair, and a trifling obliquity of vision. Both +ladies are endowed with EVERY MORAL AND RELIGIOUS +VIRTUE. Their terms, of course, are such as their +accomplishments merit. With my most grateful respects +to the Reverend Bute Crawley, I have the honour to be, + +Dear Madam, + +Your most faithful and obedient servant, +Barbara Pinkerton. + +P.S. The Miss Sharp, whom you mention as +governess to Sir Pitt Crawley, Bart., M.P., was a pupil +of mine, and I have nothing to say in her disfavour. +Though her appearance is disagreeable, we cannot +control the operations of nature: and though her parents +were disreputable (her father being a painter, several +times bankrupt, and her mother, as I have since learned, +with horror, a dancer at the Opera); yet her talents are +considerable, and I cannot regret that I received her +OUT OF CHARITY. My dread is, lest the principles of the +mother--who was represented to me as a French +Countess, forced to emigrate in the late revolutionary horrors; +but who, as I have since found, was a person of the +very lowest order and morals--should at any time prove +to be HEREDITARY in the unhappy young woman whom I +took as AN OUTCAST. But her principles have hitherto +been correct (I believe), and I am sure nothing will +occur to injure them in the elegant and refined circle +of the eminent Sir Pitt Crawley. + +Miss Rebecca Sharp to Miss Amelia Sedley. + +I have not written to my beloved Amelia for these +many weeks past, for what news was there to tell of the +sayings and doings at Humdrum Hall, as I have +christened it; and what do you care whether the turnip crop +is good or bad; whether the fat pig weighed thirteen +stone or fourteen; and whether the beasts thrive well +upon mangelwurzel? Every day since I last wrote has +been like its neighbour. Before breakfast, a walk with +Sir Pitt and his spud; after breakfast studies (such as +they are) in the schoolroom; after schoolroom, reading +and writing about lawyers, leases, coal-mines, canals, +with Sir Pitt (whose secretary I am become); after +dinner, Mr. Crawley's discourses on the baronet's +backgammon; during both of which amusements my lady +looks on with equal placidity. She has become rather +more interesting by being ailing of late, which has +brought a new visitor to the Hall, in the person of a +young doctor. Well, my dear, young women need never +despair. The young doctor gave a certain friend of yours +to understand that, if she chose to be Mrs. Glauber, she +was welcome to ornament the surgery! I told his +impudence that the gilt pestle and mortar was quite +ornament enough; as if I was born, indeed, to be a country +surgeon's wife! Mr. Glauber went home seriously +indisposed at his rebuff, took a cooling draught, and is now +quite cured. Sir Pitt applauded my resolution highly; +he would be sorry to lose his little secretary, I think; +and I believe the old wretch likes me as much as it is in +his nature to like any one. Marry, indeed! and with a +country apothecary, after--No, no, one cannot so +soon forget old associations, about which I will talk no +more. Let us return to Humdrum Hall. + +For some time past it is Humdrum Hall no longer. +My dear, Miss Crawley has arrived with her fat horses, +fat servants, fat spaniel--the great rich Miss Crawley, +with seventy thousand pounds in the five per cents., +whom, or I had better say WHICH, her two brothers +adore. She looks very apoplectic, the dear soul; no +wonder her brothers are anxious about her. You should see +them struggling to settle her cushions, or to hand her +coffee! "When I come into the country," she says (for +she has a great deal of humour), "I leave my toady, +Miss Briggs, at home. My brothers are my toadies here, +my dear, and a pretty pair they are!" + +When she comes into the country our hall is thrown +open, and for a month, at least, you would fancy old +Sir Walpole was come to life again. We have dinner- +parties, and drive out in the coach-and-four the +footmen put on their newest canary-coloured liveries; we +drink claret and champagne as if we were accustomed +to it every day. We have wax candles in the schoolroom, +and fires to warm ourselves with. Lady Crawley is made +to put on the brightest pea-green in her wardrobe, and +my pupils leave off their thick shoes and tight old +tartan pelisses, and wear silk stockings and muslin frocks, +as fashionable baronets' daughters should. Rose came in +yesterday in a sad plight--the Wiltshire sow (an +enormous pet of hers) ran her down, and destroyed a most +lovely flowered lilac silk dress by dancing over it--had +this happened a week ago, Sir Pitt would have sworn +frightfully, have boxed the poor wretch's ears, and put +her upon bread and water for a month. All he said was, +"I'll serve you out, Miss, when your aunt's gone," and +laughed off the accident as quite trivial. Let us hope his +wrath will have passed away before Miss Crawley's +departure. I hope so, for Miss Rose's sake, I am sure. +What a charming reconciler and peacemaker money is! + +Another admirable effect of Miss Crawley and her +seventy thousand pounds is to be seen in the conduct +of the two brothers Crawley. I mean the baronet and +the rector, not OUR brothers--but the former, who hate +each other all the year round, become quite loving at +Christmas. I wrote to you last year how the abominable +horse-racing rector was in the habit of preaching clumsy +sermons at us at church, and how Sir Pitt snored in +answer. When Miss Crawley arrives there is no such thing +as quarrelling heard of--the Hall visits the Rectory, and +vice versa--the parson and the Baronet talk about the +pigs and the poachers, and the county business, in the +most affable manner, and without quarrelling in their +cups, I believe--indeed Miss Crawley won't hear of their +quarrelling, and vows that she will leave her money to +the Shropshire Crawleys if they offend her. If they were +clever people, those Shropshire Crawleys, they might +have it all, I think; but the Shropshire Crawley is a +clergyman like his Hampshire cousin, and mortally offended +Miss Crawley (who had fled thither in a fit of rage +against her impracticable brethren) by some strait-laced +notions of morality. He would have prayers in the house, +I believe. + +Our sermon books are shut up when Miss Crawley +arrives, and Mr. Pitt, whom she abominates, finds it +convenient to go to town. On the other hand, the young +dandy--"blood," I believe, is the term--Captain Crawley +makes his appearance, and I suppose you will like to +know what sort of a person he is. + +Well, he is a very large young dandy. He is six feet +high, and speaks with a great voice; and swears a great +deal; and orders about the servants, who all adore him +nevertheless; for he is very generous of his money, and +the domestics will do anything for him. Last week the +keepers almost killed a bailiff and his man who came +down from London to arrest the Captain, and who were +found lurking about the Park wall--they beat them, +ducked them, and were going to shoot them for +poachers, but the baronet interfered. + +The Captain has a hearty contempt for his father, I +can see, and calls him an old PUT, an old SNOB, an old +CHAW-BACON, and numberless other pretty names. He has +a DREADFUL REPUTATION among the ladies. He brings his +hunters home with him, lives with the Squires of the +county, asks whom he pleases to dinner, and Sir Pitt +dares not say no, for fear of offending Miss Crawley, +and missing his legacy when she dies of her apoplexy. +Shall I tell you a compliment the Captain paid me? I +must, it is so pretty. One evening we actually had a +dance; there was Sir Huddleston Fuddleston and his +family, Sir Giles Wapshot and his young ladies, and I +don't know how many more. Well, I heard him say-- +"By Jove, she's a neat little filly!" meaning your humble +servant; and he did me the honour to dance two country- +dances with me. He gets on pretty gaily with the young +Squires, with whom he drinks, bets, rides, and talks +about hunting and shooting; but he says the country +girls are BORES; indeed, I don't think he is far wrong. +You should see the contempt with which they look down +on poor me! When they dance I sit and play the piano +very demurely; but the other night, coming in rather +flushed from the dining-room, and seeing me employed +in this way, he swore out loud that I was the best dancer +in the room, and took a great oath that he would have +the fiddlers from Mudbury. + +"I'll go and play a country-dance," said Mrs. Bute +Crawley, very readily (she is a little, black-faced old +woman in a turban, rather crooked, and with very +twinkling eyes); and after the Captain and your poor little +Rebecca had performed a dance together, do you know +she actually did me the honour to compliment me upon +my steps! Such a thing was never heard of before; the +proud Mrs. Bute Crawley, first cousin to the Earl of +Tiptoff, who won't condescend to visit Lady Crawley, +except when her sister is in the country. Poor Lady +Crawley! during most part of these gaieties, she is +upstairs taking pills. + +Mrs. Bute has all of a sudden taken a great fancy to +me. "My dear Miss Sharp," she says, "why not bring +over your girls to the Rectory?--their cousins will be so +happy to see them." I know what she means. Signor +Clementi did not teach us the piano for nothing; at +which price Mrs. Bute hopes to get a professor for her +children. I can see through her schemes, as though she +told them to me; but I shall go, as I am determined to +make myself agreeable--is it not a poor governess's +duty, who has not a friend or protector in the world? +The Rector's wife paid me a score of compliments about +the progress my pupils made, and thought, no doubt, to +touch my heart--poor, simple, country soul!--as if I +cared a fig about my pupils! + +Your India muslin and your pink silk, dearest Amelia, +are said to become me very well. They are a good deal +worn now; but, you know, we poor girls can't afford des +fraiches toilettes. Happy, happy you! who have but to +drive to St. James's Street, and a dear mother who will +give you any thing you ask. Farewell, dearest girl, + +Your affectionate +Rebecca. + +P.S.--I wish you could have seen the faces of the +Miss Blackbrooks (Admiral Blackbrook's daughters, my +dear), fine young ladies, with dresses from London, +when Captain Rawdon selected poor me for a partner! + +When Mrs. Bute Crawley (whose artifices our ingenious +Rebecca had so soon discovered) had procured from +Miss Sharp the promise of a visit, she induced the all- +powerful Miss Crawley to make the necessary application +to Sir Pitt, and the good-natured old lady, who loved to +be gay herself, and to see every one gay and happy round +about her, was quite charmed, and ready to establish a +reconciliation and intimacy between her two brothers. +It was therefore agreed that the young people of both +families should visit each other frequently for the future, +and the friendship of course lasted as long as the jovial +old mediatrix was there to keep the peace. + +"Why did you ask that scoundrel, Rawdon Crawley, to +dine?" said the Rector to his lady, as they were walking +home through the park. "I don't want the fellow. He looks +down upon us country people as so many blackamoors. +He's never content unless he gets my yellow-sealed wine, +which costs me ten shillings a bottle, hang him! Besides, +he's such an infernal character--he's a gambler--he's a +drunkard--he's a profligate in every way. He shot a man +in a duel--he's over head and ears in debt, and he's +robbed me and mine of the best part of Miss Crawley's +fortune. Waxy says she has him"--here the Rector shook +his fist at the moon, with something very like an oath, +and added, in a melancholious tone, "--, down in her will +for fifty thousand; and there won't be above thirty to +divide." + +"I think she's going," said the Rector's wife. "She was +very red in the face when we left dinner. I was obliged +to unlace her." + +"She drank seven glasses of champagne," said the +reverend gentleman, in a low voice; "and filthy champagne +it is, too, that my brother poisons us with--but you +women never know what's what." + +"We know nothing," said Mrs. Bute Crawley. + +"She drank cherry-brandy after dinner," continued his +Reverence, "and took curacao with her coffee. I +wouldn't take a glass for a five-pound note: it kills me +with heartburn. She can't stand it, Mrs. Crawley--she +must go--flesh and blood won't bear it! and I lay five to +two, Matilda drops in a year." + +Indulging in these solemn speculations, and thinking +about his debts, and his son Jim at College, and Frank at +Woolwich, and the four girls, who were no beauties, poor +things, and would not have a penny but what they got from +the aunt's expected legacy, the Rector and his lady walked +on for a while. + +"Pitt can't be such an infernal villain as to sell the +reversion of the living. And that Methodist milksop of an +eldest son looks to Parliament," continued Mr. Crawley, +after a pause. + +"Sir Pitt Crawley will do anything," said the Rector's +wife. "We must get Miss Crawley to make him promise it +to James." + +"Pitt will promise anything," replied the brother. "He +promised he'd pay my college bills, when my father died; +he promised he'd build the new wing to the Rectory; +he promised he'd let me have Jibb's field and the Six- +acre Meadow--and much he executed his promises! And +it's to this man's son--this scoundrel, gambler, swindler, +murderer of a Rawdon Crawley, that Matilda leaves the +bulk of her money. I say it's un-Christian. By Jove, it is. +The infamous dog has got every vice except hypocrisy, +and that belongs to his brother." + +"Hush, my dearest love! we're in Sir Pitt's grounds," +interposed his wife. + +"I say he has got every vice, Mrs. Crawley. Don't +Ma'am, bully me. Didn't he shoot Captain Marker? Didn't +he rob young Lord Dovedale at the Cocoa-Tree? Didn't +he cross the fight between Bill Soames and the Cheshire +Trump, by which I lost forty pound? You know he did; +and as for the women, why, you heard that before me, in +my own magistrate's room " + +"For heaven's sake, Mr. Crawley," said the lady, "spare +me the details." + +"And you ask this villain into your house!" continued +the exasperated Rector. "You, the mother of a young +family--the wife of a clergyman of the Church of +England. By Jove!" + +"Bute Crawley, you are a fool," said the Rector's wife +scornfully. + +"Well, Ma'am, fool or not--and I don't say, Martha, +I'm so clever as you are, I never did. But I won't meet +Rawdon Crawley, that's flat. I'll go over to Huddleston, +that I will, and see his black greyhound, Mrs. Crawley; +and I'll run Lancelot against him for fifty. By Jove, I will; +or against any dog in England. But I won't meet that +beast Rawdon Crawley." + +"Mr. Crawley, you are intoxicated, as usual," replied +his wife. And the next morning, when the Rector woke, +and called for small beer, she put him in mind of his +promise to visit Sir Huddleston Fuddleston on Saturday, +and as he knew he should have a wet night, it was agreed +that he might gallop back again in time for church on +Sunday morning. Thus it will be seen that the parishioners +of Crawley were equally happy in their Squire and in their +Rector. + +Miss Crawley had not long been established at the Hall +before Rebecca's fascinations had won the heart of that +good-natured London rake, as they had of the country +innocents whom we have been describing. Taking her +accustomed drive, one day, she thought fit to order that +"that little governess" should accompany her to Mudbury. +Before they had returned Rebecca had made a conquest +of her; having made her laugh four times, and amused her +during the whole of the little journey. + +"Not let Miss Sharp dine at table!" said she to Sir Pitt, +who had arranged a dinner of ceremony, and asked all the +neighbouring baronets. "My dear creature, do you +suppose I can talk about the nursery with Lady Fuddleston, or +discuss justices' business with that goose, old Sir Giles +Wapshot? I insist upon Miss Sharp appearing. Let Lady +Crawley remain upstairs, if there is no room. But little +Miss Sharp! Why, she's the only person fit to talk to in +the county!" + +Of course, after such a peremptory order as this, Miss +Sharp, the governess, received commands to dine with the +illustrious company below stairs. And when Sir Huddleston +had, with great pomp and ceremony, handed Miss +Crawley in to dinner, and was preparing to take his +place by her side, the old lady cried out, in a shrill +voice, "Becky Sharp! Miss Sharp! Come you and sit by +me and amuse me; and let Sir Huddleston sit by Lady +Wapshot." + +When the parties were over, and the carriages had +rolled away, the insatiable Miss Crawley would say, +"Come to my dressing room, Becky, and let us abuse the +company"--which, between them, this pair of friends did +perfectly. Old Sir Huddleston wheezed a great deal at +dinner; Sir Giles Wapshot had a particularly noisy manner +of imbibing his soup, and her ladyship a wink of the left +eye; all of which Becky caricatured to admiration; as well +as the particulars of the night's conversation; the politics; +the war; the quarter-sessions; the famous run with the +H.H., and those heavy and dreary themes, about which +country gentlemen converse. As for the Misses Wapshot's +toilettes and Lady Fuddleston's famous yellow hat, Miss +Sharp tore them to tatters, to the infinite amusement +of her audience. + +"My dear, you are a perfect trouvaille," Miss Crawley +would say. "I wish you could come to me in London, +but I couldn't make a butt of you as I do of poor Briggs +no, no, you little sly creature; you are too clever--Isn't +she, Firkin?" + +Mrs. Firkin (who was dressing the very small +remnant of hair which remained on Miss Crawley's pate), +flung up her head and said, "I think Miss is very clever," +with the most killing sarcastic air. In fact, Mrs. Firkin +had that natural jealousy which is one of the main +principles of every honest woman. + +After rebuffing Sir Huddleston Fuddleston, Miss +Crawley ordered that Rawdon Crawley should lead her in +to dinner every day, and that Becky should follow with her +cushion--or else she would have Becky's arm and +Rawdon with the pillow. "We must sit together," she said. +"We're the only three Christians in the county, my love" +--in which case, it must be confessed, that religion was +at a very low ebb in the county of Hants. + +Besides being such a fine religionist, Miss Crawley +was, as we have said, an Ultra-liberal in opinions, and +always took occasion to express these in the most candid +manner. + +"What is birth, my dear!" she would say to Rebecca-- +"Look at my brother Pitt; look at the Huddlestons, who +have been here since Henry II; look at poor Bute at the +parsonage--is any one of them equal to you in intelligence +or breeding? Equal to you--they are not even equal to +poor dear Briggs, my companion, or Bowls, my butler. +You, my love, are a little paragon--positively a little +jewel--You have more brains than half the shire--if +merit had its reward you ought to be a Duchess--no, +there ought to be no duchesses at all--but you ought to +have no superior, and I consider you, my love, as my +equal in every respect; and--will you put some coals on +the fire, my dear; and will you pick this dress of mine, and +alter it, you who can do it so well?" So this old philanthropist +used to make her equal run of her errands, execute her +millinery, and read her to sleep with French novels, +every night. + +At this time, as some old readers may recollect, the +genteel world had been thrown into a considerable state +of excitement by two events, which, as the papers say, +might give employment to the gentlemen of the long robe. +Ensign Shafton had run away with Lady Barbara Fitzurse, +the Earl of Bruin's daughter and heiress; and poor Vere +Vane, a gentleman who, up to forty, had maintained a +most respectable character and reared a numerous family, +suddenly and outrageously left his home, for the sake of +Mrs. Rougemont, the actress, who was sixty-five years +of age. + +"That was the most beautiful part of dear Lord +Nelson's character," Miss Crawley said. "He went to the +deuce for a woman. There must be good in a man who will +do that. I adore all impudent matches.--What I like +best, is for a nobleman to marry a miller's daughter, as +Lord Flowerdale did--it makes all the women so angry +--I wish some great man would run away with you, my +dear; I'm sure you're pretty enough." + +"Two post-boys!--Oh, it would be delightful!" Rebecca +owned. + +"And what I like next best, is for a poor fellow to run +away with a rich girl. I have set my heart on Rawdon +running away with some one." + +"A rich some one, or a poor some one?" + +"Why, you goose! Rawdon has not a shilling but what I +give him. He is crible de dettes--he must repair his +fortunes, and succeed in the world." + +"Is he very clever?" Rebecca asked. + +"Clever, my love?--not an idea in the world beyond his +horses, and his regiment, and his hunting, and his play; +but he must succeed--he's so delightfully wicked. Don't +you know he has hit a man, and shot an injured father +through the hat only? He's adored in his regiment; and all +the young men at Wattier's and the Cocoa-Tree swear by +him." + +When Miss Rebecca Sharp wrote to her beloved friend +the account of the little ball at Queen's Crawley, and the +manner in which, for the first time, Captain Crawley had +distinguished her, she did not, strange to relate, give an +altogether accurate account of the transaction. The Captain +had distinguished her a great number of times before. The +Captain had met her in a half-score of walks. The Captain +had lighted upon her in a half-hundred of corridors and +passages. The Captain had hung over her piano twenty +times of an evening (my Lady was now upstairs, being ill, +and nobody heeded her) as Miss Sharp sang. The Captain had +written her notes (the best that the great blundering +dragoon could devise and spell; but dulness gets on +as well as any other quality with women). But when he +put the first of the notes into the leaves of the song she +was singing, the little governess, rising and looking him +steadily in the face, took up the triangular missive daintily, +and waved it about as if it were a cocked hat, and she, +advancing to the enemy, popped the note into the fire, and +made him a very low curtsey, and went back to her +place, and began to sing away again more merrily than +ever. + +"What's that?" said Miss Crawley, interrupted in her +after-dinner doze by the stoppage of the music. + +"It's a false note," Miss Sharp said with a laugh; and +Rawdon Crawley fumed with rage and mortification. + +Seeing the evident partiality of Miss Crawley for the +new governess, how good it was of Mrs. Bute Crawley not +to be jealous, and to welcome the young lady to the +Rectory, and not only her, but Rawdon Crawley, her +husband's rival in the Old Maid's five per cents! They +became very fond of each other's society, Mrs. Crawley +and her nephew. He gave up hunting; he declined +entertainments at Fuddleston: he would not dine with the +mess of the depot at Mudbury: his great pleasure was to stroll +over to Crawley parsonage--whither Miss Crawley came +too; and as their mamma was ill, why not the children +with Miss Sharp? So the children (little dears!) came with +Miss Sharp; and of an evening some of the party would +walk back together. Not Miss Crawley--she preferred her +carriage--but the walk over the Rectory fields, and in at +the little park wicket, and through the dark plantation, +and up the checkered avenue to Queen's Crawley, was +charming in the moonlight to two such lovers of the +picturesque as the Captain and Miss Rebecca. + +"O those stars, those stars!" Miss Rebecca would say, +turning her twinkling green eyes up towards them. "I +feel myself almost a spirit when I gaze upon them." + +"O--ah--Gad--yes, so do I exactly, Miss Sharp," the +other enthusiast replied. "You don't mind my cigar, do +you, Miss Sharp?" Miss Sharp loved the smell of a cigar +out of doors beyond everything in the world--and she just +tasted one too, in the prettiest way possible, and gave a +little puff, and a little scream, and a little giggle, and +restored the delicacy to the Captain, who twirled his +moustache, and straightway puffed it into a blaze that +glowed quite red in the dark plantation, and swore--"Jove +--aw--Gad--aw--it's the finest segaw I ever smoked in +the world aw," for his intellect and conversation were +alike brilliant and becoming to a heavy young dragoon. + +Old Sir Pitt, who was taking his pipe and beer, and +talking to John Horrocks about a "ship" that was to be killed, +espied the pair so occupied from his study-window, and +with dreadful oaths swore that if it wasn't for Miss +Crawley, he'd take Rawdon and bundle un out of doors, like a +rogue as he was. + +"He be a bad'n, sure enough," Mr. Horrocks remarked; +"and his man Flethers is wuss, and have made such a row +in the housekeeper's room about the dinners and hale, as +no lord would make--but I think Miss Sharp's a match +for'n, Sir Pitt," he added, after a pause. + +And so, in truth, she was--for father and son too. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + + +Quite a Sentimental Chapter + +We must now take leave of Arcadia, and those amiable +people practising the rural virtues there, and travel back +to London, to inquire what has become of Miss Amelia +"We don't care a fig for her," writes some unknown +correspondent with a pretty little handwriting and a pink seal +to her note. "She is fade and insipid," and adds some more +kind remarks in this strain, which I should never have +repeated at all, but that they are in truth prodigiously +complimentary to the young lady whom they concern. + +Has the beloved reader, in his experience of society, +never heard similar remarks by good-natured female +friends; who always wonder what you CAN see in Miss +Smith that is so fascinating; or what COULD induce Major +Jones to propose for that silly insignificant simpering Miss +Thompson, who has nothing but her wax-doll face to +recommend her? What is there in a pair of pink cheeks +and blue eyes forsooth? these dear Moralists ask, and hint +wisely that the gifts of genius, the accomplishments of the +mind, the mastery of Mangnall's Questions, and a ladylike +knowledge of botany and geology, the knack of making +poetry, the power of rattling sonatas in the Herz-manner, +and so forth, are far more valuable endowments for a +female, than those fugitive charms which a few years will +inevitably tarnish. It is quite edifying to hear women +speculate upon the worthlessness and the duration of +beauty. + +But though virtue is a much finer thing, and those +hapless creatures who suffer under the misfortune of good +looks ought to be continually put in mind of the fate +which awaits them; and though, very likely, the heroic +female character which ladies admire is a more glorious +and beautiful object than the kind, fresh, smiling, artless, +tender little domestic goddess, whom men are inclined +to worship--yet the latter and inferior sort of women +must have this consolation--that the men do admire them +after all; and that, in spite of all our kind friends' warnings +and protests, we go on in our desperate error and +folly, and shall to the end of the chapter. Indeed, for my +own part, though I have been repeatedly told by persons +for whom I have the greatest respect, that Miss Brown is +an insignificant chit, and Mrs. White has nothing but her +petit minois chiffonne, and Mrs. Black has not a word to +say for herself; yet I know that I have had the most +delightful conversations with Mrs. Black (of course, my +dear Madam, they are inviolable): I see all the men in a +cluster round Mrs. White's chair: all the young fellows +battling to dance with Miss Brown; and so I am tempted +to think that to be despised by her sex is a very great +compliment to a woman. + +The young ladies in Amelia's society did this for her +very satisfactorily. For instance, there was scarcely any +point upon which the Misses Osborne, George's sisters, +and the Mesdemoiselles Dobbin agreed so well as in their +estimate of her very trifling merits: and their wonder that +their brothers could find any charms in her. "We are kind +to her," the Misses Osborne said, a pair of fine black- +browed young ladies who had had the best of governesses, +masters, and milliners; and they treated her with +such extreme kindness and condescension, and patronised +her so insufferably, that the poor little thing was in fact +perfectly dumb in their presence, and to all outward +appearance as stupid as they thought her. She made efforts +to like them, as in duty bound, and as sisters of her +future husband. She passed "long mornings" with them +--the most dreary and serious of forenoons. She drove +out solemnly in their great family coach with them, and +Miss Wirt their governess, that raw-boned Vestal. They +took her to the ancient concerts by way of a treat, and +to the oratorio, and to St. Paul's to see the charity +children, where in such terror was she of her friends, she +almost did not dare be affected by the hymn the children +sang. Their house was comfortable; their papa's table +rich and handsome; their society solemn and genteel; +their self-respect prodigious; they had the best pew at +the Foundling: all their habits were pompous and orderly, +and all their amusements intolerably dull and decorous. +After every one of her visits (and oh how glad she was +when they were over!) Miss Osborne and Miss Maria +Osborne, and Miss Wirt, the vestal governess, asked each +other with increased wonder, "What could George find in +that creature?" + +How is this? some carping reader exclaims. How is it +that Amelia, who had such a number of friends at +school, and was so beloved there, comes out into the +world and is spurned by her discriminating sex? My dear +sir, there were no men at Miss Pinkerton's establishment +except the old dancing-master; and you would not have +had the girls fall out about HIM? When George, their +handsome brother, ran off directly after breakfast, and +dined from home half-a-dozen times a week, no wonder +the neglected sisters felt a little vexation. When young +Bullock (of the firm of Hulker, Bullock & Co., Bankers, +Lombard Street), who had been making up to Miss Maria +the last two seasons, actually asked Amelia to dance the +cotillon, could you expect that the former young lady +should be pleased? And yet she said she was, like an +artless forgiving creature. "I'm so delighted you like dear +Amelia," she said quite eagerly to Mr. Bullock after the +dance. "She's engaged to my brother George; there's not +much in her, but she's the best-natured and most +unaffected young creature: at home we're all so fond of her." +Dear girl! who can calculate the depth of affection +expressed in that enthusiastic SO? + +Miss Wirt and these two affectionate young women so +earnestly and frequently impressed upon George +Osborne's mind the enormity of the sacrifice he was making, +and his romantic generosity in throwing himself away +upon Amelia, that I'm not sure but that he really thought +he was one of the most deserving characters in the British +army, and gave himself up to be loved with a good deal +of easy resignation. + +Somehow, although he left home every morning, as was +stated, and dined abroad six days in the week, when his +sisters believed the infatuated youth to be at Miss Sedley's +apron-strings: he was NOT always with Amelia, whilst the +world supposed him at her feet. Certain it is that on more +occasions than one, when Captain Dobbin called to look +for his friend, Miss Osborne (who was very attentive to +the Captain, and anxious to hear his military stories, and +to know about the health of his dear Mamma), would +laughingly point to the opposite side of the square, and +say, "Oh, you must go to the Sedleys' to ask for George; +WE never see him from morning till night." At which kind +of speech the Captain would laugh in rather an absurd +constrained manner, and turn off the conversation, like +a consummate man of the world, to some topic of general +interest, such as the Opera, the Prince's last ball at +Carlton House, or the weather--that blessing to society. + +"What an innocent it is, that pet of yours," Miss Maria +would then say to Miss Jane, upon the Captain's +departure. "Did you see how he blushed at the mention of +poor George on duty?" + +"It's a pity Frederick Bullock hadn't some of his +modesty, Maria," replies the elder sister, with a toss of he +head. + +"Modesty! Awkwardness you mean, Jane. I don't want +Frederick to trample a hole in my muslin frock, as +Captain Dobbin did in yours at Mrs. Perkins'." + +"In YOUR frock, he, he! How could he? Wasn't he +dancing with Amelia?" + +The fact is, when Captain Dobbin blushed so, and +looked so awkward, he remembered a circumstance of +which he did not think it was necessary to inform the +young ladies, viz., that he had been calling at Mr. Sedley's +house already, on the pretence of seeing George, of +course, and George wasn't there, only poor little Amelia, +with rather a sad wistful face, seated near the drawing- +room window, who, after some very trifling stupid talk, +ventured to ask, was there any truth in the report that +the regiment was soon to be ordered abroad; and had +Captain Dobbin seen Mr. Osborne that day? + +The regiment was not ordered abroad as yet; and +Captain Dobbin had not seen George. "He was with his +sister, most likely," the Captain said. "Should he go and +fetch the truant?" So she gave him her hand kindly and +gratefully: and he crossed the square; and she waited +and waited, but George never came. + +Poor little tender heart! and so it goes on hoping and +beating, and longing and trusting. You see it is not much +of a life to describe. There is not much of what you call +incident in it. Only one feeling all day--when will he +come? only one thought to sleep and wake upon. I +believe George was playing billiards with Captain Cannon +in Swallow Street at the time when Amelia was asking +Captain Dobbin about him; for George was a jolly +sociable fellow, and excellent in all games of skill. + +Once, after three days of absence, Miss Amelia put on +her bonnet, and actually invaded the Osborne house. +"What! leave our brother to come to us?" said the young +ladies. "Have you had a quarrel, Amelia? Do tell us!" +No, indeed, there had been no quarrel. "Who could +quarrel with him?" says she, with her eyes filled with tears. +She only came over to--to see her dear friends; they had +not met for so long. And this day she was so perfectly +stupid and awkward, that the Misses Osborne and their +governess, who stared after her as she went sadly away, +wondered more than ever what George could see in poor +little Amelia. + +Of course they did. How was she to bare that timid +little heart for the inspection of those young ladies with +their bold black eyes? It was best that it should shrink +and hide itself. I know the Misses Osborne were excellent +critics of a Cashmere shawl, or a pink satin slip; and +when Miss Turner had hers dyed purple, and made into +a spencer; and when Miss Pickford had her ermine +tippet twisted into a muff and trimmings, I warrant you the +changes did not escape the two intelligent young women +before mentioned. But there are things, look you, of a +finer texture than fur or satin, and all Solomon's glories, +and all the wardrobe of the Queen of Sheba--things +whereof the beauty escapes the eyes of many +connoisseurs. And there are sweet modest little souls on +which you light, fragrant and blooming tenderly in quiet shady +places; and there are garden-ornaments, as big as brass +warming-pans, that are fit to stare the sun itself out of +countenance. Miss Sedley was not of the sunflower sort; +and I say it is out of the rules of all proportion to draw +a violet of the size of a double dahlia. + +No, indeed; the life of a good young girl who is in the +paternal nest as yet, can't have many of those thrilling +incidents to which the heroine of romance commonly lays +claim. Snares or shot may take off the old birds foraging +without--hawks may be abroad, from which they escape +or by whom they suffer; but the young ones in the nest +have a pretty comfortable unromantic sort of existence +in the down and the straw, till it comes to their turn, +too, to get on the wing. While Becky Sharp was on her +own wing in the country, hopping on all sorts of twigs, +and amid a multiplicity of traps, and pecking up her food +quite harmless and successful, Amelia lay snug in her +home of Russell Square; if she went into the world, it +was under the guidance of the elders; nor did it seem +that any evil could befall her or that opulent cheery +comfortable home in which she was affectionately sheltered. +Mamma had her morning duties, and her daily drive, +and the delightful round of visits and shopping which +forms the amusement, or the profession as you may call +it, of the rich London lady. Papa conducted his +mysterious operations in the City--a stirring place in those +days, when war was raging all over Europe, and empires +were being staked; when the "Courier" newspaper had +tens of thousands of subscribers; when one day brought +you a battle of Vittoria, another a burning of Moscow, or +a newsman's horn blowing down Russell Square about +dinner-time, announced such a fact as--"Battle of +Leipsic--six hundred thousand men engaged--total +defeat of the French--two hundred thousand killed." Old +Sedley once or twice came home with a very grave face; +and no wonder, when such news as this was agitating all +the hearts and all the Stocks of Europe. + +Meanwhile matters went on in Russell Square, Bloomsbury, +just as if matters in Europe were not in the least +disorganised. The retreat from Leipsic made no +difference in the number of meals Mr. Sambo took in the +servants' hall; the allies poured into France, and the +dinner-belI rang at five o'clock just as usual. I don't think +poor Amelia cared anything about Brienne and Montmirail, +or was fairly interested in the war until the abdication +of the Emperor; when she clapped her hands and said +prayers--oh, how grateful! and flung herself into George +Osborne's arms with all her soul, to the astonishment of +everybody who witnessed that ebullition of sentiment. +The fact is, peace was declared, Europe was going to be +at rest; the Corsican was overthrown, and Lieutenant +Osborne's regiment would not be ordered on service. That +was the way in which Miss Amelia reasoned. The fate of +Europe was Lieutenant George Osborne to her. His +dangers being over, she sang Te Deum. He was her Europe: +her emperor: her allied monarchs and august prince +regent. He was her sun and moon; and I believe she +thought the grand illumination and ball at the Mansion +House, given to the sovereigns, were especially in honour +of George Osborne. + + +We have talked of shift, self, and poverty, as those +dismal instructors under whom poor Miss Becky Sharp +got her education. Now, love was Miss Amelia Sedley's +last tutoress, and it was amazing what progress our young +lady made under that popular teacher. In the course of +fifteen or eighteen months' daily and constant attention to +this eminent finishing governess, what a deal of secrets +Amelia learned, which Miss Wirt and the black-eyed +young ladies over the way, which old Miss Pinkerton of +Chiswick herself, had no cognizance of! As, indeed, how +should any of those prim and reputable virgins? With +Misses P. and W. the tender passion is out of the +question: I would not dare to breathe such an idea regarding +them. Miss Maria Osborne, it is true, was "attached" to +Mr. Frederick Augustus Bullock, of the firm of Hulker, +Bullock & Bullock; but hers was a most respectable +attachment, and she would have taken Bullock Senior just +the same, her mind being fixed--as that of a well-bred +young woman should be--upon a house in Park Lane, +a country house at Wimbledon, a handsome chariot, and +two prodigious tall horses and footmen, and a fourth of +the annual profits of the eminent firm of Hulker & +Bullock, all of which advantages were represented in the +person of Frederick Augustus. Had orange blossoms been +invented then (those touching emblems of female purity +imported by us from France, where people's daughters +are universally sold in marriage), Miss Maria, I say, +would have assumed the spotless wreath, and stepped into +the travelling carriage by the side of gouty, old, bald- +headed, bottle-nosed Bullock Senior; and devoted her +beautiful existence to his happiness with perfect modesty +--only the old gentleman was married already; so she +bestowed her young affections on the junior partner. +Sweet, blooming, orange flowers! The other day I saw +Miss Trotter (that was), arrayed in them, trip into the +travelling carriage at St. George's, Hanover Square, and +Lord Methuselah hobbled in after. With what an engaging +modesty she pulled down the blinds of the chariot--the +dear innocent! There were half the carriages of Vanity +Fair at the wedding. + +This was not the sort of love that finished Amelia's +education; and in the course of a year turned a good young +girl into a good young woman--to be a good wife +presently, when the happy time should come. This young +person (perhaps it was very imprudent in her parents to +encourage her, and abet her in such idolatry and silly +romantic ideas) loved, with all her heart, the young +officer in His Majesty's service with whom we have made a +brief acquaintance. She thought about him the very first +moment on waking; and his was the very last name +mentioned m her prayers. She never had seen a man so +beautiful or so clever: such a figure on horseback: such +a dancer: such a hero in general. Talk of the Prince's +bow! what was it to George's? She had seen Mr. +Brummell, whom everybody praised so. Compare such a person +as that to her George! Not amongst all the beaux at the +Opera (and there were beaux in those days with actual +opera hats) was there any one to equal him. He was only +good enough to be a fairy prince; and oh, what +magnanimity to stoop to such a humble Cinderella! Miss +Pinkerton would have tried to check this blind devotion +very likely, had she been Amelia's confidante; but not +with much success, depend upon it. It is in the nature and +instinct of some women. Some are made to scheme, and +some to love; and I wish any respected bachelor that +reads this may take the sort that best likes him. + +While under this overpowering impression, Miss Amelia +neglected her twelve dear friends at Chiswick most +cruelly, as such selfish people commonly will do. She had +but this subject, of course, to think about; and Miss +Saltire was too cold for a confidante, and she couldn't +bring her mind to tell Miss Swartz, the woolly-haired +young heiress from St. Kitt's. She had little Laura Martin +home for the holidays; and my belief is, she made a +confidante of her, and promised that Laura should come +and live with her when she was married, and gave Laura +a great deal of information regarding the passion of +love, which must have been singularly useful and novel +to that little person. Alas, alas! I fear poor Emmy had +not a well-regulated mind. + +What were her parents doing, not to keep this little +heart from beating so fast? Old Sedley did not seem much +to notice matters. He was graver of late, and his City +affairs absorbed him. Mrs. Sedley was of so easy and +uninquisitive a nature that she wasn't even jealous. Mr. +Jos was away, being besieged by an Irish widow at +Cheltenham. Amelia had the house to herself--ah! too +much to herself sometimes--not that she ever doubted; +for, to be sure, George must be at the Horse Guards; +and he can't always get leave from Chatham; and he must +see his friends and sisters, and mingle in society when +in town (he, such an ornament to every society!); and +when he is with the regiment, he is too tired to write long +letters. I know where she kept that packet she had--and +can steal in and out of her chamber like Iachimo--like +Iachimo? No--that is a bad part. I will only act +Moonshine, and peep harmless into the bed where faith and +beauty and innocence lie dreaming. + +But if Osborne's were short and soldierlike letters, it +must be confessed, that were Miss Sedley's letters to Mr. +Osborne to be published, we should have to extend this +novel to such a multiplicity of volumes as not the most +sentimental reader could support; that she not only filled +sheets of large paper, but crossed them with the most +astonishing perverseness; that she wrote whole pages out +of poetry-books without the least pity; that she +underlined words and passages with quite a frantic emphasis; +and, in fine, gave the usual tokens of her condition. She +wasn't a heroine. Her letters were full of repetition. She +wrote rather doubtful grammar sometimes, and in her +verses took all sorts of liberties with the metre. But oh, +mesdames, if you are not allowed to touch the heart +sometimes in spite of syntax, and are not to be loved +until you all know the difference between trimeter and +tetrameter, may all Poetry go to the deuce, and every +schoolmaster perish miserably! + + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + + +Sentimental and Otherwise + +I fear the gentleman to whom Miss Amelia's letters were +addressed was rather an obdurate critic. Such a number +of notes followed Lieutenant Osborne about the country, +that he became almost ashamed of the jokes of his +mess-room companions regarding them, and ordered his +servant never to deliver them except at his private apartment. +He was seen lighting his cigar with one, to the horror of +Captain Dobbin, who, it is my belief, would have given +a bank-note for the document. + +For some time George strove to keep the liaison a +secret. There was a woman in the case, that he admitted. +"And not the first either," said Ensign Spooney to Ensign +Stubble. "That Osborne's a devil of a fellow. There was a +judge's daughter at Demerara went almost mad about +him; then there was that beautiful quadroon girl, Miss +Pye, at St. Vincent's, you know; and since he's been +home, they say he's a regular Don Giovanni, by Jove." + +Stubble and Spooney thought that to be a "regular +Don Giovanni, by Jove" was one of the finest qualities a +man could possess, and Osborne's reputation was +prodigious amongst the young men of the regiment. He +was famous in field-sports, famous at a song, famous on +parade; free with his money, which was bountifully +supplied by his father. His coats were better made than +any man's in the regiment, and he had more of them. He +was adored by the men. He could drink more than any +officer of the whole mess, including old Heavytop, the +colonel. He could spar better than Knuckles, the private +(who would have been a corporal but for his drunkenness, +and who had been in the prize-ring); and was the best +batter and bowler, out and out, of the regimental club. +He rode his own horse, Greased Lightning, and won the +Garrison cup at Quebec races. There were other people +besides Amelia who worshipped him. Stubble and +Spooney thought him a sort of Apollo; Dobbin took him +to be an Admirable Crichton; and Mrs. Major O'Dowd +acknowledged he was an elegant young fellow, and put +her in mind of Fitzjurld Fogarty, Lord Castlefogarty's +second son. + +Well, Stubble and Spooney and the rest indulged in +most romantic conjectures regarding this female +correspondent of Osborne's--opining that it was a Duchess in +London who was in love with him--or that it was a +General's daughter, who was engaged to somebody else, +and madly attached to him--or that it was a Member of +Parliament's lady, who proposed four horses and an +elopement--or that it was some other victim of a passion +delightfully exciting, romantic, and disgraceful to all +parties, on none of which conjectures would Osborne throw +the least light, leaving his young admirers and friends to +invent and arrange their whole history. + +And the real state of the case would never have been +known at all in the regiment but for Captain Dobbin's +indiscretion. The Captain was eating his breakfast one +day in the mess-room, while Cackle, the assistant-surgeon, +and the two above-named worthies were speculating upon +Osborne's intrigue--Stubble holding out that the lady +was a Duchess about Queen Charlotte's court, and Cackle +vowing she was an opera-singer of the worst reputation. +At this idea Dobbin became so moved, that though his +mouth was full of eggs and bread-and-butter at the time, +and though he ought not to have spoken at all, yet he +couldn't help blurting out, "Cackle, you're a stupid fool. +You're always talking nonsense and scandal. Osborne is +not going to run off with a Duchess or ruin a milliner. +Miss Sedley is one of the most charming young women +that ever lived. He's been engaged to her ever so long; +and the man who calls her names had better not do so +in my hearing." With which, turning exceedingly red, +Dobbin ceased speaking, and almost choked himself with +a cup of tea. The story was over the regiment in half-an- +hour; and that very evening Mrs. Major O'Dowd wrote +off to her sister Glorvina at O'Dowdstown not to hurry +from Dublin--young Osborne being prematurely engaged +already. + +She complimented the Lieutenant in an appropriate +speech over a glass of whisky-toddy that evening, and he +went home perfectly furious to quarrel with Dobbin (who +had declined Mrs. Major O'Dowd's party, and sat in his +own room playing the flute, and, I believe, writing poetry +in a very melancholy manner)--to quarrel with Dobbin +for betraying his secret. + +"Who the deuce asked you to talk about my affairs?" +Osborne shouted indignantly. "Why the devil is all the +regiment to know that I am going to be married? Why is +that tattling old harridan, Peggy O'Dowd, to make free +with my name at her d--d supper-table, and advertise +my engagement over the three kingdoms? After all, what +right have you to say I am engaged, or to meddle in my +business at all, Dobbin?" + +"It seems to me," Captain Dobbin began. + +"Seems be hanged, Dobbin," his junior interrupted +him. "I am under obligations to you, I know it, a d--d +deal too well too; but I won't be always sermonised by +you because you're five years my senior. I'm hanged if +I'll stand your airs of superiority and infernal pity and +patronage. Pity and patronage! I should like to know in +what I'm your inferior?" + +"Are you engaged?" Captain Dobbin interposed. + +"What the devil's that to you or any one here if I am?" + +"Are you ashamed of it?" Dobbin resumed. + +"What right have you to ask me that question, sir? I +should like to know," George said. + +"Good God, you don't mean to say you want to break +off?" asked Dobbin, starting up. + +"In other words, you ask me if I'm a man of honour," +said Osborne, fiercely; "is that what you mean? You've +adopted such a tone regarding me lately that I'm -- +if I'll bear it any more." + +"What have I done? I've told you you were neglecting +a sweet girl, George. I've told you that when you go to +town you ought to go to her, and not to the gambling- +houses about St. James's." + +"You want your money back, I suppose," said George, +with a sneer. + +"Of course I do--I always did, didn't I?" says Dobbin. +"You speak like a generous fellow." + +"No, hang it, William, I beg your pardon"--here +George interposed in a fit of remorse; "you have been my +friend in a hundred ways, Heaven knows. You've got me +out of a score of scrapes. When Crawley of the Guards +won that sum of money of me I should have been done +but for you: I know I should. But you shouldn't deal so +hardly with me; you shouldn't be always catechising me. +I am very fond of Amelia; I adore her, and that sort of +thing. Don't look angry. She's faultless; I know she is. +But you see there's no fun in winning a thing unless you +play for it. Hang it: the regiment's just back from the +West Indies, I must have a little fling, and then when I'm +married I'll reform; I will upon my honour, now. And--I +say--Dob--don't be angry with me, and I'll give you a +hundred next month, when I know my father will stand +something handsome; and I'll ask Heavytop for leave, +and I'll go to town, and see Amelia to-morrow--there +now, will that satisfy you?" + +"It is impossible to be long angry with you, George," +said the good-natured Captain; "and as for the money, +old boy, you know if I wanted it you'd share your last +shilling with me." + +"That I would, by Jove, Dobbin," George said, with +the greatest generosity, though by the way he never had +any money to spare. + +"Only I wish you had sown those wild oats of yours, +George. If you could have seen poor little Miss Emmy's +face when she asked me about you the other day, you +would have pitched those billiard-balls to the deuce. Go +and comfort her, you rascal. Go and write her a long +letter. Do something to make her happy; a very little will." + +"I believe she's d--d fond of me," the Lieutenant said, +with a self-satisfied air; and went off to finish the evening +with some jolly fellows in the mess-room. + +Amelia meanwhile, in Russell Square, was looking at +the moon, which was shining upon that peaceful spot, as +well as upon the square of the Chatham barracks, where +Lieutenant Osborne was quartered, and thinking to +herself how her hero was employed. Perhaps he is visiting +the sentries, thought she; perhaps he is bivouacking; +perhaps he is attending the couch of a wounded comrade, or +studying the art of war up in his own desolate chamber. +And her kind thoughts sped away as if they were angels +and had wings, and flying down the river to Chatham +and Rochester, strove to peep into the barracks where +George was. . . . All things considered, I think it was +as well the gates were shut, and the sentry allowed no +one to pass; so that the poor little white-robed angel +could not hear the songs those young fellows were +roaring over the whisky-punch. + +The day after the little conversation at Chatham +barracks, young Osborne, to show that he would be as good +as his word, prepared to go to town, thereby incurring +Captain Dobbin's applause. "I should have liked to make her +a little present," Osborne said to his friend in confidence, +"only I am quite out of cash until my father tips up." But +Dobbin would not allow this good nature and generosity +to be balked, and so accommodated Mr. Osborne with a +few pound notes, which the latter took after a little faint +scruple. + +And I dare say he would have bought something very +handsome for Amelia; only, getting off the coach in Fleet +Street, he was attracted by a handsome shirt-pin in a +jeweller's window, which he could not resist; and having +paid for that, had very little money to spare for indulging +in any further exercise of kindness. Never mind: you may +be sure it was not his presents Amelia wanted. When he +came to Russell Square, her face lighted up as if he had +been sunshine. The little cares, fears, tears, timid +misgivings, sleepless fancies of I don't know how many days +and nights, were forgotten, under one moment's influence +of that familiar, irresistible smile. He beamed on her +from the drawing-room door--magnificent, with +ambrosial whiskers, like a god. Sambo, whose face as he +announced Captain Osbin (having conferred a brevet rank +on that young officer) blazed with a sympathetic grin, saw +the little girl start, and flush, and jump up from her +watching-place in the window; and Sambo retreated: and +as soon as the door was shut, she went fluttering to +Lieutenant George Osborne's heart as if it was the only natural +home for her to nestle in. Oh, thou poor panting little +soul! The very finest tree in the whole forest, with the +straightest stem, and the strongest arms, and the +thickest foliage, wherein you choose to build and coo, may +be marked, for what you know, and may be down with a +crash ere long. What an old, old simile that is, between +man and timber! + +In the meanwhile, George kissed her very kindly on +her forehead and glistening eyes, and was very gracious +and good; and she thought his diamond shirt-pin (which +she had not known him to wear before) the prettiest +ornament ever seen. + +The observant reader, who has marked our young +Lieutenant's previous behaviour, and has preserved our +report of the brief conversation which he has just had +with Captain Dobbin, has possibly come to certain +conclusions regarding the character of Mr. Osborne. Some +cynical Frenchman has said that there are two parties to +a love-transaction: the one who loves and the other who +condescends to be so treated. Perhaps the love is +occasionally on the man's side; perhaps on the lady's. +Perhaps some infatuated swain has ere this mistaken +insensibility for modesty, dulness for maiden reserve, mere +vacuity for sweet bashfulness, and a goose, in a word, +for a swan. Perhaps some beloved female subscriber has +arrayed an ass in the splendour and glory of her +imagination; admired his dulness as manly simplicity; +worshipped his selfishness as manly superiority; treated his +stupidity as majestic gravity, and used him as the +brilliant fairy Titania did a certain weaver at Athens. I think +I have seen such comedies of errors going on in the +world. But this is certain, that Amelia believed her lover +to be one of the most gallant and brilliant men in the +empire: and it is possible Lieutenant Osborne thought +so too. + +He was a little wild: how many young men are; and +don't girls like a rake better than a milksop? He hadn't +sown his wild oats as yet, but he would soon: and quit +the army now that peace was proclaimed; the Corsican +monster locked up at Elba; promotion by consequence +over; and no chance left for the display of his undoubted +military talents and valour: and his allowance, with +Amelia's settlement, would enable them to take a snug +place in the country somewhere, in a good sporting +neighbourhood; and he would hunt a little, and farm a +little; and they would be very happy. As for remaining +in the army as a married man, that was impossible. +Fancy Mrs. George Osborne in lodgings in a county +town; or, worse still, in the East or West Indies, with a +society of officers, and patronized by Mrs. Major O'Dowd! +Amelia died with laughing at Osborne's stories about +Mrs. Major O'Dowd. He loved her much too fondly to +subject her to that horrid woman and her vulgarities, +and the rough treatment of a soldier's wife. He didn't +care for himself--not he; but his dear little girl should +take the place in society to which, as his wife, she was +entitled: and to these proposals you may be sure she +acceded, as she would to any other from the same author. + +Holding this kind of conversation, and building +numberless castles in the air (which Amelia adorned with all +sorts of flower-gardens, rustic walks, country churches, +Sunday schools, and the like; while George had his +mind's eye directed to the stables, the kennel, and the +cellar), this young pair passed away a couple of hours +very pleasantly; and as the Lieutenant had only that +single day in town, and a great deal of most important +business to transact, it was proposed that Miss Emmy should +dine with her future sisters-in-law. This invitation was +accepted joyfully. He conducted her to his sisters; where +he left her talking and prattling in a way that astonished +those ladies, who thought that George might make +something of her; and he then went off to transact +his business. + +In a word, he went out and ate ices at a pastry-cook's +shop in Charing Cross; tried a new coat in Pall Mall; +dropped in at the Old Slaughters', and called for Captain +Cannon; played eleven games at billiards with the +Captain, of which he won eight, and returned to Russell +Square half an hour late for dinner, but in very good +humour. + +It was not so with old Mr. Osborne. When that +gentleman came from the City, and was welcomed in the +drawing-room by his daughters and the elegant Miss +Wirt, they saw at once by his face--which was puffy, +solemn, and yellow at the best of times--and by the +scowl and twitching of his black eyebrows, that the heart +within his large white waistcoat was disturbed and +uneasy. When Amelia stepped forward to salute him, which +she always did with great trembling and timidity, he gave +a surly grunt of recognition, and dropped the little hand +out of his great hirsute paw without any attempt to hold +it there. He looked round gloomily at his eldest daughter; who, comprehending the meaning of his look, which +asked unmistakably, "Why the devil is she here?" said +at once: + +"George is in town, Papa; and has gone to the Horse +Guards, and will be back to dinner." + +"O he is, is he? I won't have the dinner kept waiting +for him, Jane"; with which this worthy man lapsed into +his particular chair, and then the utter silence in his +genteel, well-furnished drawing-room was only +interrupted by the alarmed ticking of the great French clock. + +When that chronometer, which was surmounted by a +cheerful brass group of the sacrifice of Iphigenia, tolled +five in a heavy cathedral tone, Mr. Osborne pulled the +bell at his right hand-violently, and the butler rushed up. + +"Dinner!" roared Mr. Osborne. + +"Mr. George isn't come in, sir," interposed the man. + +"Damn Mr. George, sir. Am I master of the house? +DINNER!~ Mr. Osborne scowled. Amelia trembled. A +telegraphic communication of eyes passed between the other +three ladies. The obedient bell in the lower regions began +ringing the announcement of the meal. The tolling over, +the head of the family thrust his hands into the great +tail-pockets of his great blue coat with brass buttons, and +without waiting for a further announcement strode +downstairs alone, scowling over his shoulder at the four +females. + +"What's the matter now, my dear?" asked one of the +other, as they rose and tripped gingerly behind the sire. + +"I suppose the funds are falling," whispered Miss Wirt; +and so, trembling and in silence, this hushed female +company followed their dark leader. They took their places +in silence. He growled out a blessing, which sounded as +gruffly as a curse. The great silver dish-covers were +removed. Amelia trembled in her place, for she was next +to the awful Osborne, and alone on her side of the table +--the gap being occasioned by the absence of George. + +"Soup?" says Mr. Osborne, clutching the ladle, fixing +his eyes on her, in a sepulchral tone; and having helped +her and the rest, did not speak for a while. + +"Take Miss Sedley's plate away," at last he said. "She +can't eat the soup--no more can I. It's beastly. Take away +the soup, Hicks, and to-morrow turn the cook out of +the house, Jane." + +Having concluded his observations upon the soup, Mr. +Osborne made a few curt remarks respecting the fish, +also of a savage and satirical tendency, and cursed +Billingsgate with an emphasis quite worthy of the place. +Then he lapsed into silence, and swallowed sundry +glasses of wine, looking more and more terrible, till a +brisk knock at the door told of George's arrival when +everybody began to rally. + +"He could not come before. General Daguilet had kept +him waiting at the Horse Guards. Never mind soup or +fish. Give him anything--he didn't care what. Capital +mutton--capital everything." His good humour contrasted +with his father's severity; and he rattled on unceasingly +during dinner, to the delight of all--of one especially, +who need not be mentioned. + +As soon as the young ladies had discussed the orange +and the glass of wine which formed the ordinary +conclusion of the dismal banquets at Mr. Osborne's house, +the signal to make sail for the drawing-room was given, +and they all arose and departed. Amelia hoped George +would soon join them there. She began playing some of +his favourite waltzes (then newly imported) at the great +carved-legged, leather-cased grand piano in the drawing- +room overhead. This little artifice did not bring him. He +was deaf to the waltzes; they grew fainter and fainter; +the discomfited performer left the huge instrument +presently; and though her three friends performed some of +the loudest and most brilliant new pieces of their +repertoire, she did not hear a single note, but sate thinking, +and boding evil. Old Osborne's scowl, terrific always, had +never before looked so deadly to her. His eyes followed +her out of the room, as if she had been guilty of something. +When they brought her coffee, she started as +though it were a cup of poison which Mr. Hicks, the +butler, wished to propose to her. What mystery was +there lurking? Oh, those women! They nurse and cuddle +their presentiments, and make darlings of their ugliest +thoughts, as they do of their deformed children. + +The gloom on the paternal countenance had also +impressed George Osborne with anxiety. With such +eyebrows, and a look so decidedly bilious, how was he to +extract that money from the governor, of which George +was consumedly in want? He began praising his father's +wine. That was generally a successful means of cajoling +the old gentleman. + +"We never got such Madeira in the West Indies, sir, as +yours. Colonel Heavytop took off three bottles of that you +sent me down, under his belt the other day." + +"Did he?" said the old gentleman. "It stands me in +eight shillings a bottle." + +"Will you take six guineas a dozen for it, sir?" said +George, with a laugh. "There's one of the greatest men in +the kingdom wants some." + +"Does he?" growled the senior. "Wish he may get it." + +"When General Daguilet was at Chatham, sir, Heavytop +gave him a breakfast, and asked me for some of the +wine. The General liked it just as well--wanted a pipe +for the Commander-in-Chief. He's his Royal Highness's +right-hand man." + +"It is devilish fine wine," said the Eyebrows, and they +looked more good-humoured; and George was going to +take advantage of this complacency, and bring the +supply question on the mahogany, when the father, relapsing +into solemnity, though rather cordial in manner, bade +him ring the bell for claret. "And we'll see if that's as +good as the Madeira, George, to which his Royal +Highness is welcome, I'm sure. And as we are drinking it, +I'll talk to you about a matter of importance." + +Amelia heard the claret bell ringing as she sat +nervously upstairs. She thought, somehow, it was a +mysterious and presentimental bell. Of the presentiments +which some people are always having, some surely +must come right. + +"What I want to know, George," the old gentleman +said, after slowly smacking his first bumper--"what I +want to know is, how you and--ah--that little thing +upstairs, are carrying on?" + +"I think, sir, it is not hard to see," George said, with a +self-satisfied grin. "Pretty clear, sir.--What capital wine!" + +"What d'you mean, pretty clear, sir?" + +"Why, hang it, sir, don't push me too hard. I'm a +modest man. I--ah--I don't set up to be a lady-killer; +but I do own that she's as devilish fond of me as she +can be. Anybody can see that with half an eye." + +"And you yourself?" + +"Why, sir, didn't you order me to marry her, and ain't +I a good boy? Haven't our Papas settled it ever so long?" + +"A pretty boy, indeed. Haven't I heard of your doings, +sir, with Lord Tarquin, Captain Crawley of the Guards, +~the Honourable Mr. Deuceace and that set. Have a care +sir, have a care." + +The old gentleman pronounced these aristocratic +names with the greatest gusto. Whenever he met a great +man he grovelled before him, and my-lorded him as only +a free-born Briton can do. He came home and looked +out his history in the Peerage: he introduced his name +into his daily conversation; he bragged about his +Lordship to his daughters. He fell down prostrate and basked +in him as a Neapolitan beggar does in the sun. George +was alarmed when he heard the names. He feared his +father might have been informed of certain transactions +at play. But the old moralist eased him by saying +serenely: + +"Well, well, young men will be young men. And the +comfort to me is, George, that living in the best society +in England, as I hope you do; as I think you do; as my +means will allow you to do--" + +"Thank you, sir," says George, making his point at +once. "One can't live with these great folks for nothing; +and my purse, sir, look at it"; and he held up a little +token which had been netted by Amelia, and contained +the very last of Dobbin's pound notes. + +"You shan't want, sir. The British merchant's son +shan't want, sir. My guineas are as good as theirs, +George, my boy; and I don't grudge 'em. Call on Mr. +Chopper as you go through the City to-morrow; he'll +have something for you. I don't grudge money when I +know you're in good society, because I know that good +society can never go wrong. There's no pride in me. I +was a humbly born man--but you have had advantages. +Make a good use of 'em. Mix with the young nobility. +There's many of 'em who can't spend a dollar to your +guinea, my boy. And as for the pink bonnets (here from +under the heavy eyebrows there came a knowing and not +very pleasing leer)--why boys will be boys. Only there's +one thing I order you to avoid, which, if you do not, I'll +cut you off with a shilling, by Jove; and that's gambling, + + +"Oh, of course, sir," said George. + +"But to return to the other business about Amelia: +why shouldn't you marry higher than a stockbroker's +daughter, George--that's what I want to know?" + +"It's a family business, sir,".says George, cracking +filberts. "You and Mr. Sedley made the match a hundred +years ago." + +"I don't deny it; but people's positions alter, sir. I don't +deny that Sedley made my fortune, or rather put me in +the way of acquiring, by my own talents and genius, that +proud position, which, I may say, I occupy in the tallow +trade and the City of London. I've shown my gratitude +to Sedley; and he's tried it of late, sir, as my cheque-book +can show. George! I tell you in confidence I don't +like the looks of Mr. Sedley's affairs. My chief clerk, +Mr. Chopper, does not like the looks of 'em, and he's an +old file, and knows 'Change as well as any man in +London. Hulker & Bullock are looking shy at him. He's been +dabbling on his own account I fear. They say the Jeune +Amelie was his, which was taken by the Yankee +privateer Molasses. And that's flat--unless I see Amelia's ten +thousand down you don't marry her. I'll have no lame +duck's daughter in my family. Pass the wine, sir--or +ring for coffee." + +With which Mr. Osborne spread out the evening +paper, and George knew from this signal that the +colloquy was ended, and that his papa was about to +take a nap. + +He hurried upstairs to Amelia in the highest spirits. +What was it that made him more attentive to her on that +night than he had been for a long time--more eager to +amuse her, more tender, more brilliant in talk? Was it +that his generous heart warmed to her at the prospect of +misfortune; or that the idea of losing the dear little prize +made him value it more? + +She lived upon the recollections of that happy evening +for many days afterwards, remembering his words; his +looks; the song he sang; his attitude, as he leant over her +or looked at her from a distance. As it seemed to her, +no night ever passed so quickly at Mr. Osborne's house +before; and for once this young person was almost +provoked to be angry by the premature arrival of Mr. +Sambo with her shawl. + +George came and took a tender leave of her the next +morning; and then hurried off to the City, where he +visited Mr. Chopper, his father's head man, and received +from that gentleman a document which he exchanged at +Hulker & Bullock's for a whole pocketful of money. As +George entered the house, old John Sedley was passing +out of the banker's parlour, looking very dismal. But his +godson was much too elated to mark the worthy +stockbroker's depression, or the dreary eyes which the kind +old gentleman cast upon him. Young Bullock did not +come grinning out of the parlour with him as had been +his wont in former years. + +And as the swinging doors of Hulker, Bullock & Co. +closed upon Mr. Sedley, Mr. Quill, the cashier (whose +benevolent occupation it is to hand out crisp bank-notes +from a drawer and dispense sovereigns out of a copper +shovel), winked at Mr. Driver, the clerk at the desk on +his right. Mr. Driver winked again. + +"No go," Mr. D. whispered. + +"Not at no price," Mr. Q. said. "Mr. George Osborne, + sir, how will you take it?" George crammed eagerly a +quantity of notes into his pockets, and paid Dobbin fifty +pounds that very evening at mess. + +That very evening Amelia wrote him the tenderest of +long letters. Her heart was overflowing with tenderness, +but it still foreboded evil. What was the cause of Mr. +Osborne's dark looks? she asked. Had any difference +arisen between him and her papa? Her poor papa +returned so melancholy from the City, that all were +alarmed about him at home--in fine, there were four +pages of loves and fears and hopes and forebodings. + +"Poor little Emmy--dear little Emmy. How fond she +is of me," George said, as he perused the missive--"and +Gad, what a headache that mixed punch has given me!" +Poor little Emmy, indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + + +Miss Crawley at Home + +About this time there drove up to an exceedingly snug +and well-appointed house in Park Lane, a travelling chariot +with a lozenge on the panels, a discontented female in a +green veil and crimped curls on the rumble, and a large +and confidential man on the box. It was the equipage of +our friend Miss Crawley, returning from Hants. The +carriage windows were shut; the fat spaniel, whose head and +tongue ordinarily lolled out of one of them, reposed on the +lap of the discontented female. When the vehicle stopped, +a large round bundle of shawls was taken out of the +carriage by the aid of various domestics and a young +lady who accompanied the heap of cloaks. That bundle +contained Miss Crawley, who was conveyed upstairs +forthwith, and put into a bed and chamber warmed properly +as for the reception of an invalid. Messengers went off +for her physician and medical man. They came, +consulted, prescribed, vanished. The young companion of +Miss Crawley, at the conclusion of their interview, came +in to receive their instructions, and administered those +antiphlogistic medicines which the eminent men ordered. + +Captain Crawley of the Life Guards rode up from +Knightsbridge Barracks the next day; his black charger +pawed the straw before his invalid aunt's door. He was +most affectionate in his inquiries regarding that amiable +relative. There seemed to be much source of apprehension. +He found Miss Crawley's maid (the discontented +female) unusually sulky and despondent; he found Miss +Briggs, her dame de compagnie, in tears alone in the +drawing-room. She had hastened home, hearing of her +beloved friend's illness. She wished to fly to her couch, +that couch which she, Briggs, had so often smoothed in +the hour of sickness. She was denied admission to Miss +Crawley's apartment. A stranger was administering her +medicines--a stranger from the country--an odious Miss +. . .--tears choked the utterance of the dame de +compagnie, and she buried her crushed affections and her +poor old red nose in her pocket handkerchief. + +Rawdon Crawley sent up his name by the sulky femme +de chambre, and Miss Crawley's new companion, coming +tripping down from the sick-room, put a little hand into +his as he stepped forward eagerly to meet her, gave a +glance of great scorn at the bewildered Briggs, and +beckoning the young Guardsman out of the back drawing- +room, led him downstairs into that now desolate dining- +parlour, where so many a good dinner had been +celebrated. + +Here these two talked for ten minutes, discussing, no +doubt, the symptoms of the old invalid above stairs; at +the end of which period the parlour bell was rung briskly, +and answered on that instant by Mr. Bowls, Miss +Crawley's large confidential butler (who, indeed, happened to +be at the keyhole during the most part of the interview); +and the Captain coming out, curling his mustachios, +mounted the black charger pawing among the straw, to +the admiration of the little blackguard boys collected in +the street. He looked in at the dining-room window, +managing his horse, which curvetted and capered beautifully +--for one instant the young person might be seen at the +window, when her figure vanished, and, doubtless, she +went upstairs again to resume the affecting duties of +benevolence. + +Who could this young woman be, I wonder? That +evening a little dinner for two persons was laid in the dining- +room--when Mrs. Firkin, the lady's maid, pushed into her +mistress's apartment, and bustled about there during +the vacancy occasioned by the departure of the new +nurse--and the latter and Miss Briggs sat down to the +neat little meal. + +Briggs was so much choked by emotion that she could +hardly take a morsel of meat. The young person carved a +fowl with the utmost delicacy, and asked so distinctly for +egg-sauce, that poor Briggs, before whom that delicious +condiment was placed, started, made a great clattering +with the ladle, and once more fell back in the most +gushing hysterical state. + +"Had you not better give Miss Briggs a glass of wine?" +said the person to Mr. Bowls, the large confidential man. +He did so. Briggs seized it mechanically, gasped it down +convulsively, moaned a little, and began to play with the +chicken on her plate. + +"I think we shall be able to help each other," said +the person with great suavity: "and shall have no need +of Mr. Bowls's kind services. Mr. Bowls, if you please, +we will ring when we want you." He went downstairs, +where, by the way, he vented the most horrid curses +upon the unoffending footman, his subordinate. + +"It is a pity you take on so, Miss Briggs," the young +lady said, with a cool, slightly sarcastic, air. + +"My dearest friend is so ill, and wo--o--on't see +me," gurgled out Briggs in an agony of renewed grief. + +"She's not very ill any more. Console yourself, dear +Miss Briggs. She has only overeaten herself--that is all. +She is greatly better. She will soon be quite restored again. +She is weak from being cupped and from medical +treatment, but she will rally immediately. Pray console +yourself, and take a little more wine." + +"But why, why won't she see me again?" Miss Briggs +bleated out. "Oh, Matilda, Matilda, after three-and- +twenty years' tenderness! is this the return to your poor, +poor Arabella?" + +"Don't cry too much, poor Arabella," the other said +(with ever so little of a grin); "she only won't see you, +because she says you don't nurse her as well as I do. +It's no pleasure to me to sit up all night. I wish you +might do it instead." + +"Have I not tended that dear couch for years?" +Arabella said, "and now--" + +"Now she prefers somebody else. Well, sick people +have these fancies, and must be humoured. When she's +well I shall go." + +"Never, never," Arabella exclaimed, madly inhaling her +salts-bottle. + +"Never be well or never go, Miss Briggs?" the other +said, with the same provoking good-nature. "Pooh--she +will be well in a fortnight, when I shall go back to my +little pupils at Queen's Crawley, and to their mother, +who is a great deal more sick than our friend. You need +not be jealous about me, my dear Miss Briggs. I am a +poor little girl without any friends, or any harm in me. +I don't want to supplant you in Miss Crawley's good +graces. She will forget me a week after I am gone: and +her affection for you has been the work of years. Give +me a little wine if you please, my dear Miss Briggs, +and let us be friends. I'm sure I want friends." + +The placable and soft-hearted Briggs speechlessly +pushed out her hand at this appeal; but she felt the +desertion most keenly for all that, and bitterly, bitterly +moaned the fickleness of her Matilda. At the end of half +an hour, the meal over, Miss Rebecca Sharp (for such, +astonishing to state, is the name of her who has been +described ingeniously as "the person" hitherto), went +upstairs again to her patient's rooms, from which, with +the most engaging politeness, she eliminated poor Firkin. +"Thank you, Mrs. Firkin, that will quite do; how nicely +you make it! I will ring when anything is wanted." "Thank +you"; and Firkin came downstairs in a tempest of +jealousy, only the more dangerous because she was forced +to confine it in her own bosom. + +Could it be the tempest which, as she passed the +landing of the first floor, blew open the drawing-room door? +No; it was stealthily opened by the hand of Briggs. +Briggs had been on the watch. Briggs too well heard the +creaking Firkin descend the stairs, and the clink of the +spoon and gruel-basin the neglected female carried. + +"Well, Firkin?" says she, as the other entered the +apartment. "Well, Jane?" + +"Wuss and wuss, Miss B.," Firkin said, wagging her +head. + +"Is she not better then?" + +"She never spoke but once, and I asked her if she felt +a little more easy, and she told me to hold my stupid +tongue. Oh, Miss B., I never thought to have seen this +day!" And the water-works again began to play. + +"What sort of a person is this Miss Sharp, Firkin? I +little thought, while enjoying my Christmas revels in the +elegant home of my firm friends, the Reverend Lionel +Delamere and his amiable lady, to find a stranger had +taken my place in the affections of my dearest, my still +dearest Matilda!" Miss Briggs, it will be seen by her +language, was of a literary and sentimental turn, and had +once published a volume of poems--"Trills of the +Nightingale"--by subscription. + +"Miss B., they are all infatyated about that young +woman," Firkin replied. "Sir Pitt wouldn't have let her +go, but he daredn't refuse Miss Crawley anything. Mrs. +Bute at the Rectory jist as bad--never happy out of her +sight. The Capting quite wild about her. Mr. Crawley +mortial jealous. Since Miss C. was took ill, she won't +have nobody near her but Miss Sharp, I can't tell for +where nor for why; and I think somethink has bewidged +everybody." + +Rebecca passed that night in constant watching upon +Miss Crawley; the next night the old lady slept so +comfortably, that Rebecca had time for several hours' +comfortable repose herself on the sofa, at the foot of her +patroness's bed; very soon, Miss Crawley was so well +that she sat up and laughed heartily at a perfect +imitation of Miss Briggs and her grief, which Rebecca +described to her. Briggs' weeping snuffle, and her manner +of using the handkerchief, were so completely rendered +that Miss Crawley became quite cheerful, to the +admiration of the doctors when they visited her, who usually +found this worthy woman of the world, when the least +sickness attacked her, under the most abject depression +and terror of death. + +Captain Crawley came every day, and received bulletins +from Miss Rebecca respecting his aunt's health. +This improved so rapidly, that poor Briggs was allowed +to see her patroness; and persons with tender hearts +may imagine the smothered emotions of that sentimental +female, and the affecting nature of the interview. + +Miss Crawley liked to have Briggs in a good deal +soon. Rebecca used to mimic her to her face with the +most admirable gravity, thereby rendering the imitation +doubly piquant to her worthy patroness. + +The causes which had led to the deplorable illness of +Miss Crawley, and her departure from her brother's +house in the country, were of such an unromantic nature +that they are hardly fit to be explained in this genteel +and sentimental novel. For how is it possible to hint of a +delicate female, living in good society, that she ate and +drank too much, and that a hot supper of lobsters +profusely enjoyed at the Rectory was the reason of an +indisposition which Miss Crawley herself persisted was +solely attributable to the dampness of the weather? The +attack was so sharp that Matilda--as his Reverence +expressed it--was very nearly "off the hooks"; all the +family were in a fever of expectation regarding the will, +and Rawdon Crawley was making sure of at least forty +thousand pounds before the commencement of the +London season. Mr. Crawley sent over a choice parcel of +tracts, to prepare her for the change from Vanity Fair +and Park Lane for another world; but a good doctor +from Southampton being called in in time, vanquished +the lobster which was so nearly fatal to her, and gave +her sufficient strength to enable her to return to London. +The Baronet did not disguise his exceeding mortification +at the turn which affairs took. + +While everybody was attending on Miss Crawley, and +messengers every hour from the Rectory were carrying +news of her health to the affectionate folks there, there +was a lady in another part of the house, being exceedingly +ill, of whom no one took any notice at all; and this was +the lady of Crawley herself. The good doctor shook his +head after seeing her; to which visit Sir Pitt consented, +as it could be paid without a fee; and she was left fading +away in her lonely chamber, with no more heed paid to +her than to a weed in the park. + +The young ladies, too, lost much of the inestimable +benefit of their governess's instruction, So affectionate a +nurse was Miss Sharp, that Miss Crawley would take +her medicines from no other hand. Firkin had been +deposed long before her mistress's departure from the +country. That faithful attendant found a gloomy consolation +on returning to London, in seeing Miss Briggs suffer +the same pangs of jealousy and undergo the same +faithless treatment to which she herself had been subject. + +Captain Rawdon got an extension of leave on his +aunt's illness, and remained dutifully at home. He was +always in her antechamber. (She lay sick in the state +bedroom, into which you entered by the little blue +saloon.) His father was always meeting him there; or if he +came down the corridor ever so quietly, his father's +door was sure to open, and the hyena face of the old +gentleman to glare out. What was it set one to watch +the other so? A generous rivalry, no doubt, as to which +should be most attentive to the dear sufferer in the state +bedroom. Rebecca used to come out and comfort both +of them; or one or the other of them rather. Both of +these worthy gentlemen were most anxious to have news +of the invalid from her little confidential messenger. + +At dinner--to which meal she descended for half an +hour--she kept the peace between them: after which she +disappeared for the night; when Rawdon would ride over +to the depot of the 150th at Mudbury, leaving his papa +to the society of Mr. Horrocks and his rum and water. +She passed as weary a fortnight as ever mortal spent in +Miss Crawley's sick-room; but her little nerves seemed +to be of iron, as she was quite unshaken by the duty and +the tedium of the sick-chamber. + +She never told until long afterwards how painful that +duty was; how peevish a patient was the jovial old lady; +how angry; how sleepless; in what horrors of death; +during what long nights she lay moaning, and in almost +delirious agonies respecting that future world which she +quite ignored when she was in good health.--Picture to +yourself, oh fair young reader, a worldly, selfish, +graceless, thankless, religionless old woman, writhing in pain +and fear, and without her wig. Picture her to yourself, +and ere you be old, learn to love and pray! + +Sharp watched this graceless bedside with indomitable +patience. Nothing escaped her; and, like a prudent steward, +she found a use for everything. She told many a +good story about Miss Crawley's illness in after days-- +stories which made the lady blush through her artificial +carnations. During the illness she was never out of +temper; always alert; she slept light, having a perfectly clear +conscience; and could take that refreshment at almost +any minute's warning. And so you saw very few traces of +fatigue in her appearance. Her face might be a trifle +paler, and the circles round her eyes a little blacker than +usual; but whenever she came out from the sick-room +she was always smiling, fresh, and neat, and looked as +trim in her little dressing-gown and cap, as in her +smartest evening suit. + +The Captain thought so, and raved about her in +uncouth convulsions. The barbed shaft of love had +penetrated his dull hide. Six weeks--appropinquity-- +opportunity--had victimised him completely. He made a +confidante of his aunt at the Rectory, of all persons in the +world. She rallied him about it; she had perceived his +folly; she warned him; she finished by owning that little +Sharp was the most clever, droll, odd, good-natured, +simple, kindly creature in England. Rawdon must not +trifle with her affections, though--dear Miss Crawley +would never pardon him for that; for she, too, was quite +overcome by the little governess, and loved Sharp like a +daughter. Rawdon must go away--go back to his +regiment and naughty London, and not play with a poor +artless girl's feelings. + +Many and many a time this good-natured lady, +compassionating the forlorn life-guardsman's condition, +gave him an opportunity of seeing Miss Sharp at the Rectory, +and of walking home with her, as we have seen. When +men of a certain sort, ladies, are in love, though they +see the hook and the string, and the whole apparatus +with which they are to be taken, they gorge the bait +nevertheless--they must come to it--they must swallow +it--and are presently struck and landed gasping. Rawdon +saw there was a manifest intention on Mrs. Bute's part +to captivate him with Rebecca. He was not very wise; +but he was a man about town, and had seen several +seasons. A light dawned upon his dusky soul, as he thought, +through a speech of Mrs. Bute's. + +"Mark my words, Rawdon," she said. "You will have +Miss Sharp one day for your relation." + +"What relation--my cousin, hey, Mrs. Bute? James +sweet on her, hey?" inquired the waggish officer. + +"More than that," Mrs. Bute said, with a flash from +her black eyes. + +"Not Pitt? He sha'n't have her. The sneak a'n't +worthy of her. He's booked to Lady Jane Sheepshanks." + +"You men perceive nothing. You silly, blind creature +--if anything happens to Lady Crawley, Miss Sharp will +be your mother-in-law; and that's what will happen." + +Rawdon Crawley, Esquire, gave vent to a prodigious +whistle, in token of astonishment at this announcement. +He couldn't deny it. His father's evident liking for Miss +Sharp had not escaped him. He knew the old gentleman's +character well; and a more unscrupulous old--whyou-- +he did not conclude the sentence, but walked home, +curling his mustachios, and convinced he had found a +clue to Mrs. Bute's mystery. + +"By Jove, it's too bad," thought Rawdon, "too bad, by +Jove! I do believe the woman wants the poor girl to be +ruined, in order that she shouldn't come into the family +as Lady Crawley." + +When he saw Rebecca alone, he rallied her about his +father's attachment in his graceful way. She flung up her +head scornfully, looked him full in the face, and said, + +"Well, suppose he is fond of me. I know he is, and +others too. You don't think I am afraid of him, Captain +Crawley? You don't suppose I can't defend my own +honour," said the little woman, looking as stately as a +queen. + +"Oh, ah, why--give you fair warning--look out, you +know--that's all," said the mustachio-twiddler. + +"You hint at something not honourable, then?" said +she, flashing out. + +"O Gad--really--Miss Rebecca," the heavy dragoon +interposed. + +"Do you suppose I have no feeling of self-respect, +because I am poor and friendless, and because rich people +have none? Do you think, because I am a governess, I +have not as much sense, and feeling, and good breeding +as you gentlefolks in Hampshire? I'm a Montmorency. +Do you suppose a Montmorency is not as good as a +Crawley?" + +When Miss Sharp was agitated, and alluded to her +maternal relatives, she spoke with ever so slight a +foreign accent, which gave a great charm to her clear +ringing voice. "No," she continued, kindling as she spoke to +the Captain; "I can endure poverty, but not shame-- +neglect, but not insult; and insult from--from you." + +Her feelings gave way, and she burst into tears. + +"Hang it, Miss Sharp--Rebecca--by Jove--upon my +soul, I wouldn't for a thousand pounds. Stop, Rebecca!" + +She was gone. She drove out with Miss Crawley that +day. It was before the latter's illness. At dinner she was +unusually brilliant and lively; but she would take no +notice of the hints, or the nods, or the clumsy expostulations +of the humiliated, infatuated guardsman. Skirmishes +of this sort passed perpetually during the little campaign +--tedious to relate, and similar in result. The Crawley +heavy cavalry was maddened by defeat, and routed +every day. + +If the Baronet of Queen's Crawley had not had the +fear of losing his sister's legacy before his eyes, he never +would have permitted his dear girls to lose the educational +blessings which their invaluable governess was conferring +upon them. The old house at home seemed a desert +without her, so useful and pleasant had Rebecca +made herself there. Sir Pitt's letters were not copied and +corrected; his books not made up; his household +business and manifold schemes neglected, now that his little +secretary was away. And it was easy to see how necessary +such an amanuensis was to him, by the tenor and +spelling of the numerous letters which he sent to her, +entreating her and commanding her to return. Almost every +day brought a frank from the Baronet, enclosing the +most urgent prayers to Becky for her return, or conveying +pathetic statements to Miss Crawley, regarding the +neglected state of his daughters' education; of which +documents Miss Crawley took very little heed. + +Miss Briggs was not formally dismissed, but her place +as companion was a sinecure and a derision; and her +company was the fat spaniel in the drawing-room, or +occasionally the discontented Firkin in the housekeeper's +closet. Nor though the old lady would by no means +hear of Rebecca's departure, was the latter regularly +installed in office in Park Lane. Like many wealthy people, +it was Miss Crawley's habit to accept as much service as +she could get from her inferiors; and good-naturedly to +take leave of them when she no longer found them +useful. Gratitude among certain rich folks is scarcely natural +or to be thought of. They take needy people's services +as their due. Nor have you, O poor parasite and humble +hanger-on, much reason to complain! Your friendship +for Dives is about as sincere as the return which it usually +gets. It is money you love, and not the man; and were +Croesus and his footman to change places you know, +you poor rogue, who would have the benefit of your +allegiance. + +And I am not sure that, in spite of Rebecca's simplicity +and activity, and gentleness and untiring good +humour, the shrewd old London lady, upon whom these +treasures of friendship were lavished, had not a lurking +suspicion all the while of her affectionate nurse and friend. +It must have often crossed Miss Crawley's mind that +nobody does anything for nothing. If she measured her own +feeling towards the world, she must have been pretty +well able to gauge those of the world towards herself; +and perhaps she reflected that it is the ordinary lot of +people to have no friends if they themselves care for +nobody. + +Well, meanwhile Becky was the greatest comfort and +convenience to her, and she gave her a couple of new +gowns, and an old necklace and shawl, and showed her +friendship by abusing all her intimate acquaintances to +her new confidante (than which there can't be a more +touching proof of regard), and meditated vaguely some +great future benefit--to marry her perhaps to Clump, +the apothecary, or to settle her in some advantageous +way of life; or at any rate, to send her back to Queen's +Crawley when she had done with her, and the full +London season had begun. + +When Miss Crawley was convalescent and descended +to the drawing-room, Becky sang to her, and otherwise +amused her; when she was well enough to drive out, +Becky accompanied her. And amongst the drives which +they took, whither, of all places in the world, did Miss +Crawley's admirable good-nature and friendship actually +induce her to penetrate, but to Russell Square, +Bloomsbury, and the house of John Sedley, Esquire. + +Ere that event, many notes had passed, as may be +imagined, between the two dear friends. During the +months of Rebecca's stay in Hampshire, the eternal +friendship had (must it be owned?) suffered considerable +diminution, and grown so decrepit and feeble with old +age as to threaten demise altogether. The fact is, both +girls had their own real affairs to think of: Rebecca her +advance with her employers--Amelia her own absorbing +topic. When the two girls met, and flew into each other's +arms with that impetuosity which distinguishes the +behaviour of young ladies towards each other, Rebecca +performed her part of the embrace with the most perfect +briskness and energy. Poor little Amelia blushed as she +kissed her friend, and thought she had been guilty of +something very like coldness towards her. + +Their first interview was but a very short one. Amelia +was just ready to go out for a walk. Miss Crawley was +waiting in her carriage below, her people wondering at +the locality in which they found themselves, and gazing +upon honest Sambo, the black footman of Bloomsbury, +as one of the queer natives of the place. But when Amelia +came down with her kind smiling looks (Rebecca must +introduce her to her friend, Miss Crawley was longing +to see her, and was too ill to leave her carriage)--when, +I say, Amelia came down, the Park Lane shoulder-knot +aristocracy wondered more and more that such a thing +could come out of Bloomsbury; and Miss Crawley was +fairly captivated by the sweet blushing face of the young +lady who came forward so timidly and so gracefully to +pay her respects to the protector of her friend. + +"What a complexion, my dear! What a sweet voice!" +Miss Crawley said, as they drove away westward after +the little interview. "My dear Sharp, your young friend +is charming. Send for her to Park Lane, do you hear?" +Miss Crawley had a good taste. She liked natural +manners--a little timidity only set them off. She liked pretty +faces near her; as she liked pretty pictures and nice +china. She talked of Amelia with rapture half a dozen +times that day. She mentioned her to Rawdon Crawley, +who came dutifully to partake of his aunt's chicken. + +Of course, on this Rebecca instantly stated that Amelia +was engaged to be married--to a Lieutenant Osborne-- +a very old flame. + +"Is he a man in a line-regiment?" Captain Crawley +asked, remembering after an effort, as became a +guardsman, the number of the regiment, the --th. + +Rebecca thought that was the regiment. "The +Captain's name," she said, "was Captain Dobbin." + +"A lanky gawky fellow," said Crawley, "tumbles over +everybody. I know him; and Osborne's a goodish-looking +fellow, with large black whiskers?" + +"Enormous," Miss Rebecca Sharp said, "and +enormously proud of them, I assure you." + +Captain Rawdon Crawley burst into a horse-laugh by +way of reply; and being pressed by the ladies to explain, +did so when the explosion of hilarity was over. "He +fancies he can play at billiards," said he. "I won two +hundred of him at the Cocoa-Tree. HE play, the young +flat! He'd have played for anything that day, but his friend +Captain Dobbin carried him off, hang him!" + +"Rawdon, Rawdon, don't be so wicked," Miss Crawley +remarked, highly pleased. + +"Why, ma'am, of all the young fellows I've seen out +of the line, I think this fellow's the greenest. Tarquin and +Deuceace get what money they like out of him. He'd go +to the deuce to be seen with a lord. He pays their +dinners at Greenwich, and they invite the company." + +"And very pretty company too, I dare say." + +"Quite right, Miss Sharp. Right, as usual, Miss Sharp. +Uncommon pretty company--haw, haw!" and the +Captain laughed more and more, thinking he had made a +good joke. + +"Rawdon, don't be naughty!" his aunt exclaimed. + +"Well, his father's a City man--immensely rich, they +say. Hang those City fellows, they must bleed; and I've +not done with him yet, I can tell you. Haw, haw!" + +"Fie, Captain Crawley; I shall warn Amelia. A +gambling husband!" + +"Horrid, ain't he, hey?" the Captain said with great +solemnity; and then added, a sudden thought having +struck him: "Gad, I say, ma'am, we'll have him here." + +"Is he a presentable sort of a person?" the aunt +inquired. + +"Presentable?--oh, very well. You wouldn't see any +difference," Captain Crawley answered. "Do let's have +him, when you begin to see a few people; and his +whatdyecallem--his inamorato--eh, Miss Sharp; that's what +you call it--comes. Gad, I'll write him a note, and have +him; and I'll try if he can play piquet as well as billiards. +Where does he live, Miss Sharp?" + +Miss Sharp told Crawley the Lieutenant's town address; +and a few days after this conversation, Lieutenant +Osborne received a letter, in Captain Rawdon's +schoolboy hand, and enclosing a note of invitation from +Miss Crawley. + +Rebecca despatched also an invitation to her darling +Amelia, who, you may be sure, was ready enough to +accept it when she heard that George was to be of the +party. It was arranged that Amelia was to spend the +morning with the ladies of Park Lane, where all were +very kind to her. Rebecca patronised her with calm +superiority: she was so much the cleverer of the two, and +her friend so gentle and unassuming, that she always +yielded when anybody chose to command, and so took +Rebecca's orders with perfect meekness and good humour. +Miss Crawley's graciousness was also remarkable. She +continued her raptures about little Amelia, talked about +her before her face as if she were a doll, or a servant, +or a picture, and admired her with the most benevolent +wonder possible. I admire that admiration which the +genteel world sometimes extends to the commonalty. +There is no more agreeable object in life than to see +Mayfair folks condescending. Miss Crawley's prodigious +benevolence rather fatigued poor little Amelia, and I am +not sure that of the three ladies in Park Lane she did +not find honest Miss Briggs the most agreeable. She +sympathised with Briggs as with all neglected or gentle +people: she wasn't what you call a woman of spirit. + +George came to dinner--a repast en garcon with +Captain Crawley. + +The great family coach of the Osbornes transported +him to Park Lane from Russell Square; where the young +ladies, who were not themselves invited, and professed +the greatest indifference at that slight, nevertheless looked +at Sir Pitt Crawley's name in the baronetage; and learned +everything which that work had to teach about the +Crawley family and their pedigree, and the Binkies, their +relatives, &c., &c. Rawdon Crawley received George Osborne +with great frankness and graciousness: praised his play at +billiards: asked him when he would have his revenge: +was interested about Osborne's regiment: and would have +proposed piquet to him that very evening, but Miss +Crawley absolutely forbade any gambling in her house; +so that the young Lieutenant's purse was not lightened +by his gallant patron, for that day at least. However, they +made an engagement for the next, somewhere: to look +at a horse that Crawley had to sell, and to try him in the +Park; and to dine together, and to pass the evening with +some jolly fellows. "That is, if you're not on duty to that +pretty Miss Sedley," Crawley said, with a knowing wink. +"Monstrous nice girl, 'pon my honour, though, Osborne," +he was good enough to add. "Lots of tin, I suppose, eh?" + +Osborne wasn't on duty; he would join Crawley with +pleasure: and the latter, when they met the next day, +praised his new friend's horsemanship--as he might with +perfect honesty--and introduced him to three or four +young men of the first fashion, whose acquaintance +immensely elated the simple young officer. + +"How's little Miss Sharp, by-the-bye?" Osborne inquired +of his friend over their wine, with a dandified air. +"Good-natured little girl that. Does she suit you well at +Queen's Crawley? Miss Sedley liked her a good deal last +year." + +Captain Crawley looked savagely at the Lieutenant out +of his little blue eyes, and watched him when he went up +to resume his acquaintance with the fair governess. Her +conduct must have relieved Crawley if there was any +jealousy in the bosom of that life-guardsman. + +When the young men went upstairs, and after +Osborne's introduction to Miss Crawley, he walked up to +Rebecca with a patronising, easy swagger. He was going +to be kind to her and protect her. He would even shake +hands with her, as a friend of Amelia's; and saying, "Ah, +Miss Sharp! how-dy-doo?" held out his left hand towards +her, expecting that she would be quite confounded at +the honour. + +Miss Sharp put out her right forefinger, and gave him +a little nod, so cool and killing, that Rawdon Crawley, +watching the operations from the other room, could +hardly restrain his laughter as he saw the Lieutenant's +entire discomfiture; the start he gave, the pause, and the +perfect clumsiness with which he at length condescended +to take the finger which was offered for his embrace. + +"She'd beat the devil, by Jove!" the Captain said, in a +rapture; and the Lieutenant, by way of beginning the +conversation, agreeably asked Rebecca how she liked her +new place. + +"My place?" said Miss Sharp, coolly, "how kind of you +to remind me of it! It's a tolerably good place: the wages +are pretty good--not so good as Miss Wirt's, I believe, +with your sisters in Russell Square. How are those young +ladies?--not that I ought to ask." + +"Why not?" Mr. Osborne said, amazed. + +"Why, they never condescended to speak to me, or to +ask me into their house, whilst I was staying with Amelia; +but we poor governesses, you know, are used to slights of +this sort." + +"My dear Miss Sharp!" Osborne ejaculated. + +"At least in some families," Rebecca continued. "You +can't think what a difference there is though. We are not +so wealthy in Hampshire as you lucky folks of the City. +But then I am in a gentleman's family--good old +English stock. I suppose you know Sir Pitt's father refused a +peerage. And you see how I am treated. I am pretty +comfortable. Indeed it is rather a good place. But how +very good of you to inquire!" + +Osborne was quite savage. The little governess +patronised him and persiffled him until this young +British Lion felt quite uneasy; nor could he muster sufficient +presence of mind to find a pretext for backing out +of this most delectable conversation. + +"I thought you liked the City families pretty well," he +said, haughtily. + +"Last year you mean, when I was fresh from that +horrid vulgar school? Of course I did. Doesn't every girl like +to come home for the holidays? And how was I to know +any better? But oh, Mr. Osborne, what a difference +eighteen months' experience makes! eighteen months spent, +pardon me for saying so, with gentlemen. As for dear +Amelia, she, I grant you, is a pearl, and would be charming anywhere. There now, I see you are beginning to be +in a good humour; but oh these queer odd City people! +And Mr. Jos--how is that wonderful Mr. Joseph?" + +"It seems to me you didn't dislike that wonderful Mr. +Joseph last year," Osborne said kindly. + +"How severe of you! Well, entre nous, I didn't break +my heart about him; yet if he had asked me to do what +you mean by your looks (and very expressive and kind +they are, too), I wouldn't have said no." + +Mr. Osborne gave a look as much as to say, "Indeed, +how very obliging!" + +"What an honour to have had you for a brother-in-law, +you are thinking? To be sister-in-law to George +Osborne, Esquire, son of John Osborne, Esquire, son of-- +what was your grandpapa, Mr. Osborne? Well, don't be +angry. You can't help your pedigree, and I quite agree +with you that I would have married Mr. Joe Sedley; for +could a poor penniless girl do better? Now you know +the whole secret. I'm frank and open; considering all +things, it was very kind of you to allude to the +circumstance--very kind and polite. Amelia dear, Mr. +Osborne and I were talking about your poor brother Joseph. +How is he?" + +Thus was George utterly routed. Not that Rebecca was +in the right; but she had managed most successfully to +put him in the wrong. And he now shamefully fled, +feeling, if he stayed another minute, that he would have +been made to look foolish in the presence of Amelia. + +Though Rebecca had had the better of him, George was +above the meanness of talebearing or revenge upon a +lady--only he could not help cleverly confiding to +Captain Crawley, next day, some notions of his regarding +Miss Rebecca--that she was a sharp one, a dangerous +one, a desperate flirt, &c.; in all of which opinions +Crawley agreed laughingly, and with every one of which Miss +Rebecca was made acquainted before twenty-four hours +were over. They added to her original regard for Mr. +Osborne. Her woman's instinct had told her that it was +George who had interrupted the success of her first +love-passage, and she esteemed him accordingly. + +"I only just warn you," he said to Rawdon Crawley, +with a knowing look--he had bought the horse, and lost +some score of guineas after dinner, "I just warn you--I +know women, and counsel you to be on the look-out." + +"Thank you, my boy," said Crawley, with a look of +peculiar gratitude. "You're wide awake, I see." And +George went off, thinking Crawley was quite right. + +He told Amelia of what he had done, and how he had +counselled Rawdon Crawley--a devilish good, +straightforward fellow--to be on his guard against that +little sly, scheming Rebecca. + +"Against whom?" Amelia cried. + +"Your friend the governess.--Don't look so astonished." + +"O George, what have you done?" Amelia said. For her +woman's eyes, which Love had made sharp-sighted, had +in one instant discovered a secret which was invisible to +Miss Crawley, to poor virgin Briggs, and above all, +to the stupid peepers of that young whiskered prig, +Lieutenant Osborne. + +For as Rebecca was shawling her in an upper apartment, +where these two friends had an opportunity for a +little of that secret talking and conspiring which form +the delight of female life, Amelia, coming up to Rebecca, +and taking her two little hands in hers, said, "Rebecca, +I see it all." + +Rebecca kissed her. + +And regarding this delightful secret, not one syllable +more was said by either of the young women. But it was +destined to come out before long. + +Some short period after the above events, and Miss +Rebecca Sharp still remaining at her patroness's house +in Park Lane, one more hatchment might have been seen +in Great Gaunt Street, figuring amongst the many which +usually ornament that dismal quarter. It was over Sir +Pitt Crawley's house; but it did not indicate the worthy +baronet's demise. It was a feminine hatchment, and +indeed a few years back had served as a funeral compliment +to Sir Pitt's old mother, the late dowager Lady Crawley. +Its period of service over, the hatchment had come +down from the front of the house, and lived in retirement somewhere in the back premises of Sir Pitt's mansion. +It reappeared now for poor Rose Dawson. Sir Pitt +was a widower again. The arms quartered on the shield +along with his own were not, to be sure, poor Rose's. +She had no arms. But the cherubs painted on the +scutcheon answered as well for her as for Sir Pitt's +mother, and Resurgam was written under the coat, +flanked by the Crawley Dove and Serpent. Arms and +Hatchments, Resurgam.--Here is an opportunity for +moralising! + +Mr. Crawley had tended that otherwise friendless +bedside. She went out of the world strengthened by such +words and comfort as he could give her. For many years +his was the only kindness she ever knew; the only +friendship that solaced in any way that feeble, lonely soul. +Her heart was dead long before her body. She had sold +it to become Sir Pitt Crawley's wife. Mothers and +daughters are making the same bargain every day in +Vanity Fair. + +When the demise took place, her husband was in +London attending to some of his innumerable schemes, +and busy with his endless lawyers. He had found time, +nevertheless, to call often in Park Lane, and to despatch +many notes to Rebecca, entreating her, enjoining her, +commanding her to return to her young pupils in the +country, who were now utterly without companionship +during their mother's illness. But Miss Crawley would +not hear of her departure; for though there was no lady +of fashion in London who would desert her friends more +complacently as soon as she was tired of their society, +and though few tired of them sooner, yet as long as her +engoument lasted her attachment was prodigious, and +she clung still with the greatest energy to Rebecca. + +The news of Lady Crawley's death provoked no more +grief or comment than might have been expected in Miss +Crawley's family circle. "I suppose I must put off my +party for the 3rd," Miss Crawley said; and added, after a +pause, "I hope my brother will have the decency not to +marry again." "What a confounded rage Pitt will be in if +he does," Rawdon remarked, with his usual regard for his +elder brother. Rebecca said nothing. She seemed by far the +gravest and most impressed of the family. She left the +room before Rawdon went away that day; but they met +by chance below, as he was going away after taking leave, +and had a parley together. + +On the morrow, as Rebecca was gazing from the window, +she startled Miss Crawley, who was placidly occupied +with a French novel, by crying out in an alarmed +tone, "Here's Sir Pitt, Ma'am!" and the Baronet's knock +followed this announcement. + +"My dear, I can't see him. I won't see him. Tell Bowls +not at home, or go downstairs and say I'm too ill to +receive any one. My nerves really won't bear my brother +at this moment," cried out Miss Crawley, and resumed +the novel. + +"She's too ill to see you, sir," Rebecca said, tripping +down to Sir Pitt, who was preparing to ascend. + +"So much the better," Sir Pitt answered. "I want to +see YOU, Miss Becky. Come along a me into the parlour," +and they entered that apartment together. + +"I wawnt you back at Queen's Crawley, Miss," the +baronet said, fixing his eyes upon her, and taking off his +black gloves and his hat with its great crape hat-band. +His eyes had such a strange look, and fixed upon her so +steadfastly, that Rebecca Sharp began almost to tremble. + +"I hope to come soon," she said in a low voice, "as +soon as Miss Crawley is better--and return to--to the +dear children." + +"You've said so these three months, Becky," replied +Sir Pitt, "and still you go hanging on to my sister, who'll +fling you off like an old shoe, when she's wore you out. +I tell you I want you. I'm going back to the Vuneral. +Will you come back? Yes or no?" + +"I daren't--I don't think--it would be right--to be +alone--with you, sir," Becky said, seemingly in great +agitation. + +"I say agin, I want you," Sir Pitt said, thumping the +table. "I can't git on without you. I didn't see what it was +till you went away. The house all goes wrong. It's not +the same place. All my accounts has got muddled agin. +You MUST come back. Do come back. Dear Becky, do +come." + +"Come--as what, sir?" Rebecca gasped out. + +"Come as Lady Crawley, if you like," the Baronet +said, grasping his crape hat. "There! will that zatusfy you? +Come back and be my wife. Your vit vor't. Birth be +hanged. You're as good a lady as ever I see. You've got +more brains in your little vinger than any baronet's wife +in the county. Will you come? Yes or no?" + +"Oh, Sir Pitt!" Rebecca said, very much moved. + +"Say yes, Becky," Sir Pitt continued. "I'm an old man, +but a good'n. I'm good for twenty years. I'll make you +happy, zee if I don't. You shall do what you like; spend +what you like; and 'ave it all your own way. I'll make +you a zettlement. I'll do everything reglar. Look year!" +and the old man fell down on his knees and leered at +her like a satyr. + +Rebecca started back a picture of consternation. In +the course of this history we have never seen her lose her +presence of mind; but she did now, and wept some of the +most genuine tears that ever fell from her eyes. + +"Oh, Sir Pitt!" she said. "Oh, sir--I--I'm married +ALREADY." + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +In Which Rebecca's Husband Appears +for a Short Time + +Every reader of a sentimental turn (and we desire +no other) must have been pleased with the +tableau with which the last act of our little +drama concluded; for what can be prettier than +an image of Love on his knees before Beauty? + +But when Love heard that awful confession from +Beauty that she was married already, he +bounced up from his attitude of humility on the carpet, +uttering exclamations which caused poor little Beauty to +be more frightened than she was when she made her +avowal. "Married; you're joking," the Baronet cried, after +the first explosion of rage and wonder. "You're +making vun of me, Becky. Who'd ever go to marry you +without a shilling to your vortune?" + +"Married! married!" Rebecca said, in an agony of tears +--her voice choking with emotion, her handkerchief up +to her ready eyes, fainting against the mantelpiece a +figure of woe fit to melt the most obdurate heart. "0 +Sir Pitt, dear Sir Pitt, do not think me ungrateful for all +your goodness to me. It is only your generosity that has +extorted my secret." + +"Generosity be hanged!" Sir Pitt roared out. "Who is +it tu, then, you're married? Where was it?" + +"Let me come back with you to the country, sir! Let +me watch over you as faithfully as ever! Don't, don't +separate me from dear Queen's Crawley!" + +"The feller has left you, has he?" the Baronet said, +beginning, as he fancied, to comprehend. "Well, Becky-- +come back if you like. You can't eat your cake and have +it. Any ways I made you a vair offer. Coom back as +governess--you shall have it all your own way." She +held out one hand. She cried fit to break her heart; her +ringlets fell over her face, and over the marble +mantelpiece where she laid it. + +"So the rascal ran off, eh?" Sir Pitt said, with a hideous +attempt at consolation. "Never mind, Becky, I'LL take +care of 'ee." + +"Oh, sir! it would be the pride of my life to go back +to Queen's Crawley, and take care of the children, and +of you as formerly, when you said you were pleased with +the services of your little Rebecca. When I think of what +you have just offered me, my heart fills with gratitude +indeed it does. I can't be your wife, sir; let me--let me be +your daughter." + +Saying which, Rebecca went down on HER knees in a +most tragical way, and, taking Sir Pitt's horny black +hand between her own two (which were very pretty and +white, and as soft as satin), looked up in his face with an +expression of exquisite pathos and confidence, when-- +when the door opened, and Miss Crawley sailed in. + +Mrs. Firkin and Miss Briggs, who happened by chance +to be at the parlour door soon after the Baronet and +Rebecca entered the apartment, had also seen accidentally, +through the keyhole, the old gentleman prostrate +before the governess, and had heard the generous proposal +which he made her. It was scarcely out of his mouth +when Mrs. Firkin and Miss Briggs had streamed up the +stairs, had rushed into the drawing-room where Miss +Crawley was reading the French novel, and had given +that old lady the astounding intelligence that Sir Pitt +was on his knees, proposing to Miss Sharp. And if you +calculate the time for the above dialogue to take place +--the time for Briggs and Firkin to fly to the drawing- +room--the time for Miss Crawley to be astonished, and +to drop her volume of Pigault le Brun--and the time for +her to come downstairs--you will see how exactly +accurate this history is, and how Miss Crawley must have +appeared at the very instant when Rebecca had assumed +the attitude of humility. + +"It is the lady on the ground, and not the gentleman," +Miss Crawley said, with a look and voice of great scorn. +"They told me that YOU were on your knees, Sir Pitt: do +kneel once more, and let me see this pretty couple!" + +"I have thanked Sir Pitt Crawley, Ma'am," Rebecca +said, rising, "and have told him that--that I never can +become Lady Crawley." + +"Refused him!" Miss Crawley said, more bewildered +than ever. Briggs and Firkin at the door opened the eyes +of astonishment and the lips of wonder. + +"Yes--refused," Rebecca continued, with a sad, +tearful voice. + +"And am I to credit my ears that you absolutely +proposed to her, Sir Pitt?" the old lady asked. + +"Ees," said the Baronet, "I did." + +"And she refused you as she says?" + +"Ees," Sir Pitt said, his features on a broad grin. + +"It does not seem to break your heart at any rate," +Miss Crawley remarked. + +"Nawt a bit," answered Sir Pitt, with a coolness and +good-humour which set Miss Crawley almost mad with +bewilderment. That an old gentleman of station should +fall on his knees to a penniless governess, and burst out +laughing because she refused to marry him--that a +penniless governess should refuse a Baronet with four +thousand a year--these were mysteries which Miss Crawley +could never comprehend. It surpassed any complications +of intrigue in her favourite Pigault le Brun. + +"I'm glad you think it good sport, brother," she +continued, groping wildly through this amazement. + +"Vamous," said Sir Pitt. "Who'd ha' thought it! what a +sly little devil! what a little fox it waws!" he muttered +to himself, chuckling with pleasure. + +"Who'd have thought what?" cries Miss Crawley, +stamping with her foot. "Pray, Miss Sharp, are you +waiting for the Prince Regent's divorce, that you don't think +our family good enough for you?" + +"My attitude," Rebecca said, "when you came in, +ma'am, did not look as if I despised such an honour as +this good--this noble man has deigned to offer me. Do +you think I have no heart? Have you all loved me, and +been so kind to the poor orphan--deserted--girl, and +am I to feel nothing? O my friends! O my benefactors! +may not my love, my life, my duty, try to repay the +confidence you have shown me? Do you grudge me even +gratitude, Miss Crawley? It is too much--my heart is +too full"; and she sank down in a chair so pathetically, +that most of the audience present were perfectly melted +with her sadness. + +"Whether you marry me or not, you're a good little +girl, Becky, and I'm your vriend, mind," said Sir Pitt, and +putting on his crape-bound hat, he walked away--greatly +to Rebecca's relief; for it was evident that her secret +was unrevealed to Miss Crawley, and she had the +advantage of a brief reprieve. + +Putting her handkerchief to her eyes, and nodding +away honest Briggs, who would have followed her +upstairs, she went up to her apartment; while Briggs and +Miss Crawley, in a high state of excitement, remained +to discuss the strange event, and Firkin, not less moved, +dived down into the kitchen regions, and talked of it +with all the male and female company there. And so +impressed was Mrs. Firkin with the news, that she thought +proper to write off by that very night's post, "with her +humble duty to Mrs. Bute Crawley and the family at the +Rectory, and Sir Pitt has been and proposed for to marry +Miss Sharp, wherein she has refused him, to the wonder +of all." + +The two ladies in the dining-room (where worthy +Miss Briggs was delighted to be admitted once more to +confidential conversation with her patroness) wondered +to their hearts' content at Sir Pitt's offer, and Rebecca's +refusal; Briggs very acutely suggesting that there must +have been some obstacle in the shape of a previous +attachment, otherwise no young woman in her senses would +ever have refused so advantageous a proposal. + +"You would have accepted it yourself, wouldn't you, +Briggs?" Miss Crawley said, kindly. + +"Would it not be a privilege to be Miss Crawley's +sister?" Briggs replied, with meek evasion. + +"Well, Becky would have made a good Lady Crawley, +after all," Miss Crawley remarked (who was mollified by +the girl's refusal, and very liberal and generous now there +was no call for her sacrifices). "She has brains in plenty +(much more wit in her little finger than you have, my +poor dear Briggs, in all your head). Her manners are +excellent, now I have formed her. She is a Montmorency, +Briggs, and blood is something, though I despise it for +my part; and she would have held her own amongst those +pompous stupid Hampshire people much better than that +unfortunate ironmonger's daughter." + +Briggs coincided as usual, and the "previous attachment" +was then discussed in conjectures. "You poor +friendless creatures are always having some foolish +tendre," Miss Crawley said. "You yourself, you know, +were in love with a writing-master (don't cry, Briggs-- +you're always crying, and it won't bring him to life again), +and I suppose this unfortunate Becky has been silly +and sentimental too--some apothecary, or house-steward, +or painter, or young curate, or something of that sort." + +"Poor thing! poor thing!" says Briggs (who was thinking +of twenty-four years back, and that hectic young +writing-master whose lock of yellow hair, and whose +letters, beautiful in their illegibility, she cherished in +her old desk upstairs). "Poor thing, poor thing!" says +Briggs. Once more she was a fresh-cheeked lass of eighteen; +she was at evening church, and the hectic writing-master +and she were quavering out of the same psalm-book. + +"After such conduct on Rebecca's part," Miss Crawley +said enthusiastically, "our family should do something. +Find out who is the objet, Briggs. I'll set him up in a +shop; or order my portrait of him, you know; or speak +to my cousin, the Bishop and I'll doter Becky, and +we'll have a wedding, Briggs, and you shall make the +breakfast, and be a bridesmaid." + +Briggs declared that it would be delightful, and vowed +that her dear Miss Crawley was always kind and generous, +and went up to Rebecca's bedroom to console her +and prattle about the offer, and the refusal, and the +cause thereof; and to hint at the generous intentions of +Miss Crawley, and to find out who was the gentleman +that had the mastery of Miss Sharp's heart. + +Rebecca was very kind, very affectionate and affected +--responded to Briggs's offer of tenderness with grateful +fervour--owned there was a secret attachment--a +delicious mystery--what a pity Miss Briggs had not +remained half a minute longer at the keyhole! Rebecca +might, perhaps, have told more: but five minutes after +Miss Briggs's arrival in Rebecca's apartment, Miss Crawley +actually made her appearance there--an unheard-of +honour--her impatience had overcome her; she could not +wait for the tardy operations of her ambassadress: so +she came in person, and ordered Briggs out of the room. +And expressing her approval of Rebecca's conduct, she +asked particulars of the interview, and the previous +transactions which had brought about the astonishing +offer of Sir Pitt. + +Rebecca said she had long had some notion of the +partiality with which Sir Pitt honoured her (for he was +in the habit of making his feelings known in a very frank +and unreserved manner) but, not to mention private +reasons with which she would not for the present trouble +Miss Crawley, Sir Pitt's age, station, and habits were +such as to render a marriage quite impossible; and +could a woman with any feeling of self-respect and any +decency listen to proposals at such a moment, when +the funeral of the lover's deceased wife had not actually +taken place? + +"Nonsense, my dear, you would never have refused +him had there not been some one else in the case," Miss +Crawley said, coming to her point at once. "Tell me the +private reasons; what are the private reasons? There is +some one; who is it that has touched your heart?" + +Rebecca cast down her eyes, and owned there was. +"You have guessed right, dear lady," she said, with a +sweet simple faltering voice. "You wonder at one so +poor and friendless having an attachment, don't you? +I have never heard that poverty was any safeguard +against it. I wish it were." + +"My poor dear child," cried Miss Crawley, who was +always quite ready to be sentimental, "is our passion +unrequited, then? Are we pining in secret? Tell me all, +and let me console you." + +"I wish you could, dear Madam," Rebecca said in the +same tearful tone. "Indeed, indeed, I need it." And she +laid her head upon Miss Crawley's shoulder and wept +there so naturally that the old lady, surprised into +sympathy, embraced her with an almost maternal +kindness, uttered many soothing protests of regard and +affection for her, vowed that she loved her as a daughter, +and would do everything in her power to serve her. "And +now who is it, my dear? Is it that pretty Miss Sedley's +brother? You said something about an affair with him. +I'll ask him here, my dear. And you shall have him: +indeed you shall." + +"Don't ask me now," Rebecca said. "You shall know +all soon. Indeed you shall. Dear kind Miss Crawley-- +dear friend, may I say so?" + +"That you may, my child," the old lady replied, kissing +her. + +"I can't tell you now," sobbed out Rebecca, "I am +very miserable. But O! love me always--promise you will +love me always." And in the midst of mutual tears--for +the emotions of the younger woman had awakened the +sympathies of the elder--this promise was solemnly given +by Miss Crawley, who left her little protege, blessing +and admiring her as a dear, artless, tender-hearted, +affectionate, incomprehensible creature. + +And now she was left alone to think over the sudden +and wonderful events of the day, and of what had been +and what might have been. What think you were the +private feelings of Miss, no (begging her pardon) of +Mrs. Rebecca? If, a few pages back, the present writer +claimed the privilege of peeping into Miss Amelia +Sedley's bedroom, and understanding with the omniscience +of the novelist all the gentle pains and passions which +were tossing upon that innocent pillow, why should he +not declare himself to be Rebecca's confidante too, +master of her secrets, and seal-keeper of that young +woman's conscience? + +Well, then, in the first place, Rebecca gave way to +some very sincere and touching regrets that a piece of +marvellous good fortune should have been so near her, +and she actually obliged to decline it. In this natural +emotion every properly regulated mind will certainly +share. What good mother is there that would not +commiserate a penniless spinster, who might have been +my lady, and have shared four thousand a year? What +well-bred young person is there in all Vanity Fair, who +will not feel for a hard-working, ingenious, meritorious +girl, who gets such an honourable, advantageous, provoking +offer, just at the very moment when it is out of her +power to accept it? I am sure our friend Becky's +disappointment deserves and will command every +sympathy. + +I remember one night being in the Fair myself, at an +evening party. I observed old Miss Toady there also +present, single out for her special attentions and flattery +little Mrs. Briefless, the barrister's wife, who is of a +good family certainly, but, as we all know, is as poor +as poor can be. + +What, I asked in my own mind, can cause this +obsequiousness on the part of Miss Toady; has Briefless +got a county court, or has his wife had a fortune left her? +Miss Toady explained presently, with that simplicity +which distinguishes all her conduct. "You know," she +said, "Mrs.Briefless is granddaughter of Sir John Redhand, +who is so ill at Cheltenham that he can't last six +months. Mrs. Briefless's papa succeeds; so you see she +will be a baronet's daughter." And Toady asked Briefless +and his wife to dinner the very next week. + +If the mere chance of becoming a baronet's daughter +can procure a lady such homage in the world, surely, +surely we may respect the agonies of a young woman +who has lost the opportunity of becoming a baronet's +wife. Who would have dreamed of Lady Crawley dying +so soon? She was one of those sickly women that +might have lasted these ten years--Rebecca thought to +herself, in all the woes of repentance--and I might have +been my lady! I might have led that old man whither I +would. I might have thanked Mrs. Bute for her +patronage, and Mr. Pitt for his insufferable condescension. I +would have had the town-house newly furnished and +decorated. I would have had the handsomest carriage in +London, and a box at the opera; and I would have +been presented next season. All this might have been; +and now--now all was doubt and mystery. + +But Rebecca was a young lady of too much resolution +and energy of character to permit herself much useless +and unseemly sorrow for the irrevocable past; so, having +devoted only the proper portion of regret to it, she wisely +turned her whole attention towards the future, which +was now vastly more important to her. And she +surveyed her position, and its hopes, doubts, and chances. + +In the first place, she was MARRIED--that was a great +fact. Sir Pitt knew it. She was not so much surprised into +the avowal, as induced to make it by a sudden calculation. +It must have come some day: and why not now +as at a later period? He who would have married her +himself must at least be silent with regard to her marriage. +How Miss Crawley would bear the news--was the great +question. Misgivings Rebecca had; but she remembered +all Miss Crawley had said; the old lady's avowed +contempt for birth; her daring liberal opinions; her +general romantic propensities; her almost doting attachment +to her nephew, and her repeatedly expressed fondness for +Rebecca herself. She is so fond of him, Rebecca thought, +that she will forgive him anything: she is so used to me +that I don't think she could be comfortable without +me: when the eclaircissement comes there will be a +scene, and hysterics, and a great quarrel, and then a +great reconciliation. At all events, what use was there +in delaying? the die was thrown, and now or to-morrow +the issue must be the same. And so, resolved that Miss +Crawley should have the news, the young person +debated in her mind as to the best means of conveying it +to her; and whether she should face the storm that must +come, or fly and avoid it until its first fury was blown +over. In this state of meditation she wrote the following +letter: + +Dearest Friend, + +The great crisis which we have debated +about so often is COME. Half of my secret is known, and +I have thought and thought, until I am quite sure that +now is the time to reveal THE WHOLE OF THE MYSTERY. Sir +Pitt came to me this morning, and made--what do you +think?--A DECLARATION IN FORM. Think of that! Poor +little me. I might have been Lady Crawley. How pleased +Mrs. Bute would have been: and ma tante if I had taken +precedence of her! I might have been somebody's +mamma, instead of--O, I tremble, I tremble, when I +think how soon we must tell all! + +Sir Pitt knows I am married, and not knowing to +whom, is not very much displeased as yet. Ma tante is +ACTUALLY ANGRY that I should have refused him. But she +is all kindness and graciousness. She condescends to say +I would have made him a good wife; and vows that +she will be a mother to your little Rebecca. She will be +shaken when she first hears the news. But need we fear +anything beyond a momentary anger? I think not: I AM +SURE not. She dotes upon you so (you naughty, good-for- +nothing man), that she would pardon you ANYTHING: +and, indeed, I believe, the next place in her heart is +mine: and that she would be miserable without me. +Dearest! something TELLS ME we shall conquer. You shall +leave that odious regiment: quit gaming, racing, and BE +A GOOD BOY; and we shall all live in Park Lane, and ma +tante shall leave us all her money. + +I shall try and walk to-morrow at 3 in the usual place. +If Miss B. accompanies me, you must come to dinner, +and bring an answer, and put it in the third volume of +Porteus's Sermons. But, at all events, come to your own + +R. + +To Miss Eliza Styles, +At Mr. Barnet's, Saddler, Knightsbridge. + +And I trust there is no reader of this little story who +has not discernment enough to perceive that the Miss +Eliza Styles (an old schoolfellow, Rebecca said, with +whom she had resumed an active correspondence of late, +and who used to fetch these letters from the saddler's), +wore brass spurs, and large curling mustachios, and was +indeed no other than Captain Rawdon Crawley. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + + + +The Letter on the Pincushion + +How they were married is not of the slightest +consequence to anybody. What is to hinder a Captain who +is a major, and a young lady who is of age, from purchasing +a licence, and uniting themselves at any church in this +town? Who needs to be told, that if a woman has a will +she will assuredly find a way?--My belief is that one +day, when Miss Sharp had gone to pass the forenoon +with her dear friend Miss Amelia Sedley in Russell +Square, a lady very like her might have been seen +entering a church in the City, in company with a gentleman +with dyed mustachios, who, after a quarter of an hour's +interval, escorted her back to the hackney-coach in +waiting, and that this was a quiet bridal party. + +And who on earth, after the daily experience we have, +can question the probability of a gentleman marrying +anybody? How many of the wise and learned have +married their cooks? Did not Lord Eldon himself, the +most prudent of men, make a runaway match? Were not +Achilles and Ajax both in love with their servant maids? +And are we to expect a heavy dragoon with strong +desires and small brains, who had never controlled a +passion in his life, to become prudent all of a sudden, +and to refuse to pay any price for an indulgence to +which he had a mind? If people only made prudent +marriages, what a stop to population there would be! + +It seems to me, for my part, that Mr. Rawdon's marriage +was one of the honestest actions which we shall have to +record in any portion of that gentleman's biography which +has to do with the present history. No one will say it is +unmanly to be captivated by a woman, or, being +captivated, to marry her; and the admiration, the delight, the +passion, the wonder, the unbounded confidence, and frantic adoration with which, by degrees, this big warrior got +to regard the little Rebecca, were feelings which the ladies +at least will pronounce were not altogether discreditable +to him. When she sang, every note thrilled in his dull +soul, and tingled through his huge frame. When she spoke, +he brought all the force of his brains to listen and wonder. +If she was jocular, he used to revolve her jokes in his +mind, and explode over them half an hour afterwards in +the street, to the surprise of the groom in the tilbury by +his side, or the comrade riding with him in Rotten Row. +Her words were oracles to him, her smallest actions +marked by an infallible grace and wisdom. "How she +sings,--how she paints," thought he. "How she rode that +kicking mare at Queen's Crawley!" And he would say to +her in confidential moments, "By Jove, Beck, you're fit +to be Commander-in-Chief, or Archbishop of Canterbury, +by Jove." Is his case a rare one? and don't we see every +day in the world many an honest Hercules at the +apron-strings of Omphale, and great whiskered Samsons +prostrate in Delilah's lap? + +When, then, Becky told him that the great crisis was +near, and the time for action had arrived, Rawdon +expressed himself as ready to act under her orders, as he +would be to charge with his troop at the command of his +colonel. There was no need for him to put his letter into +the third volume of Porteus. Rebecca easily found a +means to get rid of Briggs, her companion, and met her +faithful friend in "the usual place" on the next day. She +had thought over matters at night, and communicated to +Rawdon the result of her determinations. He agreed, of +course, to everything; was quite sure that it was all +right: that what she proposed was best; that Miss Crawley +would infallibly relent, or "come round," as he said, after +a time. Had Rebecca's resolutions been entirely different, +he would have followed them as implicitly. "You have +head enough for both of us, Beck," said he. "You're sure +to get us out of the scrape. I never saw your equal, and +I've met with some clippers in my time too." And with +this simple confession of faith, the love-stricken dragoon +left her to execute his part of the project which she had +formed for the pair. + +It consisted simply in the hiring of quiet lodgings at +Brompton, or in the neighbourhood of the barracks, for +Captain and Mrs. Crawley. For Rebecca had determined, +and very prudently, we think, to fly. Rawdon was +only too happy at her resolve; he had been entreating +her to take this measure any time for weeks past. He +pranced off to engage the lodgings with all the impetuosity +of love. He agreed to pay two guineas a week so readily, +that the landlady regretted she had asked him so little. +He ordered in a piano, and half a nursery-house full of +flowers: and a heap of good things. As for shawls, kid +gloves, silk stockings, gold French watches, bracelets and +perfumery, he sent them in with the profusion of blind +love and unbounded credit. And having relieved his mind +by this outpouring of generosity, he went and dined +nervously at the club, waiting until the great moment of his +life should come. + + The occurrences of the previous day; the admirable +conduct of Rebecca in refusing an offer so advantageous +to her, the secret unhappiness preying upon her, the +sweetness and silence with which she bore her affliction, +made Miss Crawley much more tender than usual. An +event of this nature, a marriage, or a refusal, or a +proposal, thrills through a whole household of women, and +sets all their hysterical sympathies at work. As an +observer of human nature, I regularly frequent St. George's, +Hanover Square, during the genteel marriage season; and +though I have never seen the bridegroom's male friends +give way to tears, or the beadles and officiating clergy +any way affected, yet it is not at all uncommon to see +women who are not in the least concerned in the +operations going on--old ladies who are long past marrying, +stout middle-aged females with plenty of sons and daughters, +let alone pretty young creatures in pink bonnets, who +are on their promotion, and may naturally take an +interest in the ceremony--I say it is quite common to see +the women present piping, sobbing, sniffling; hiding their +little faces in their little useless pocket-handkerchiefs; +and heaving, old and young, with emotion. When my +friend, the fashionable John Pimlico, married the lovely +Lady Belgravia Green Parker, the excitement was so +general that even the little snuffy old pew-opener who let me +into the seat was in tears. And wherefore? I inquired of +my own soul: she was not going to be married. + +Miss Crawley and Briggs in a word, after the affair of +Sir Pitt, indulged in the utmost luxury of sentiment, and +Rebecca became an object of the most tender interest to +them. In her absence Miss Crawley solaced herself with +the most sentimental of the novels in her library. Little +Sharp, with her secret griefs, was the heroine of the day. + +That night Rebecca sang more sweetly and talked more +pleasantly than she had ever been heard to do in Park +Lane. She twined herself round the heart of Miss Crawley. +She spoke lightly and laughingly of Sir Pitt's proposal, +ridiculed it as the foolish fancy of an old man; and her +eyes filled with tears, and Briggs's heart with unutterable +pangs of defeat, as she said she desired no other lot than +to remain for ever with her dear benefactress. "My dear +little creature," the old lady said, "I don't intend to let +you stir for years, that you may depend upon it. As for +going back to that odious brother of mine after what +has passed, it is out of the question. Here you stay with me +and Briggs. Briggs wants to go to see her relations very +often. Briggs, you may go when you like. But as for you, +my dear, you must stay and take care of the old woman." + +If Rawdon Crawley had been then and there present, +instead of being at the club nervously drinking claret, the +pair might have gone down on their knees before the old +spinster, avowed all, and been forgiven in a twinkling. +But that good chance was denied to the young couple, +doubtless in order that this story might be written, in +which numbers of their wonderful adventures are narrated +--adventures which could never have occurred to them +if they had been housed and sheltered under the +comfortable uninteresting forgiveness of Miss Crawley. + +Under Mrs. Firkin's orders, in the Park Lane establishment, +was a young woman from Hampshire, whose business it was, +among other duties, to knock at Miss Sharp's door with +that jug of hot water which Firkin would rather have +perished than have presented to the intruder. This +girl, bred on the family estate, had a brother in Captain +Crawley's troop, and if the truth were known, I daresay +it would come out that she was aware of certain arrangements, +which have a great deal to do with this history. +At any rate she purchased a yellow shawl, a pair of green +boots, and a light blue hat with a red feather with three +guineas which Rebecca gave her, and as little Sharp was +by no means too liberal with her money, no doubt it +was for services rendered that Betty Martin was so bribed. + +On the second day after Sir Pitt Crawley's offer to +Miss Sharp, the sun rose as usual, and at the usual hour +Betty Martin, the upstairs maid, knocked at the door of +the governess's bedchamber. + +No answer was returned, and she knocked again. Silence +was still uninterrupted; and Betty, with the hot water, +opened the door and entered the chamber. + +The little white dimity bed was as smooth and trim as +on the day previous, when Betty's own hands had helped +to make it. Two little trunks were corded in one end of +the room; and on the table before the window--on the +pincushion the great fat pincushion lined with pink +inside, and twilled like a lady's nightcap--lay a letter. It +had been reposing there probably all night. + +Betty advanced towards it on tiptoe, as if she were +afraid to awake it--looked at it, and round the room, +with an air of great wonder and satisfaction; took up the +letter, and grinned intensely as she turned it round and +over, and finally carried it into Miss Briggs's room +below. + +How could Betty tell that the letter was for Miss Briggs, +I should like to know? All the schooling Betty had had +was at Mrs. Bute Crawley's Sunday school, and she could +no more read writing than Hebrew. + +"La, Miss Briggs," the girl exclaimed, "O, Miss, +something must have happened--there's nobody in Miss +Sharp's room; the bed ain't been slep in, and she've run +away, and left this letter for you, Miss." + +"WHAT!" cries Briggs, dropping her comb, the thin wisp +of faded hair falling over her shoulders; "an elopement! +Miss Sharp a fugitive! What, what is this?" and she eagerly +broke the neat seal, and, as they say, "devoured the +contents" of the letter addressed to her. + +Dear Miss Briggs [the refugee wrote], the kindest +heart in the world, as yours is, will pity and sympathise +with me and excuse me. With tears, and prayers, and +blessings, I leave the home where the poor orphan has +ever met with kindness and affection. Claims even +superior to those of my benefactress call me hence. I go to +my duty--to my HUSBAND. Yes, I am married. My +husband COMMANDS me to seek the HUMBLE HOME which +we call ours. Dearest Miss Briggs, break the news as your +delicate sympathy will know how to do it--to my dear, +my beloved friend and benefactress. Tell her, ere I went, +I shed tears on her dear pillow--that pillow that I have +so often soothed in sickness--that I long AGAIN to watch +--Oh, with what joy shall I return to dear Park Lane! +How I tremble for the answer which is to SEAL MY FATE! +When Sir Pitt deigned to offer me his hand, an honour +of which my beloved Miss Crawley said I was DESERVING +(my blessings go with her for judging the poor orphan +worthy to be HER SISTER!) I told Sir Pitt that I was already +A WIFE. Even he forgave me. But my courage failed me, +when I should have told him all--that I could not be +his wife, for I WAS HIS DAUGHTER! I am wedded to the best +and most generous of men--Miss Crawley's Rawdon is +MY Rawdon. At his COMMAND I open my lips, and +follow him to our humble home, as I would THROUGH THE +WORLD. O, my excellent and kind friend, intercede with +my Rawdon's beloved aunt for him and the poor girl to +whom all HIS NOBLE RACE have shown such UNPARALLELED +AFFECTION. Ask Miss Crawley to receive HER CHILDREN. I +can say no more, but blessings, blessings on all in the +dear house I leave, prays + +Your affectionate and GRATEFUL +Rebecca Crawley. +Midnight. + +Just as Briggs had finished reading this affecting and +interesting document, which reinstated her in her position +as first confidante of Miss Crawley, Mrs. Firkin entered +the room. "Here's Mrs. Bute Crawley just arrived by +the mail from Hampshire, and wants some tea; will you +come down and make breakfast, Miss?" + +And to the surprise of Firkin, clasping her dressing-gown +around her, the wisp of hair floating dishevelled +behind her, the little curl-papers still sticking in bunches +round her forehead, Briggs sailed down to Mrs. Bute with +the letter in her hand containing the wonderful news. + +"Oh, Mrs. Firkin," gasped Betty, "sech a business. Miss +Sharp have a gone and run away with the Capting, and +they're off to Gretney Green!" We would devote a chapter +to describe the emotions of Mrs. Firkin, did not the +passions of her mistresses occupy our genteeler muse. + +When Mrs. Bute Crawley, numbed with midnight travelling, +and warming herself at the newly crackling parlour +fire, heard from Miss Briggs the intelligence of the +clandestine marriage, she declared it was quite providential +that she should have arrived at such a time to assist poor +dear Miss Crawley in supporting the shock--that Rebecca +was an artful little hussy of whom she had always +had her suspicions; and that as for Rawdon Crawley, she +never could account for his aunt's infatuation regarding +him, and had long considered him a profligate, lost, +and abandoned being. And this awful conduct, Mrs. Bute +said, will have at least this good effect, it will open poor +dear Miss Crawley's eyes to the real character of this +wicked man. Then Mrs. Bute had a comfortable hot toast +and tea; and as there was a vacant room in the house +now, there was no need for her to remain at the Gloster +Coffee House where the Portsmouth mail had set her +down, and whence she ordered Mr. Bowls's aide-de-camp +the footman to bring away her trunks. + +Miss Crawley, be it known, did not leave her room until +near noon--taking chocolate in bed in the morning, while +Becky Sharp read the Morning Post to her, or otherwise +amusing herself or dawdling. The conspirators below +agreed that they would spare the dear lady's feelings +until she appeared in her drawing-room: meanwhile it was +announced to her that Mrs. Bute Crawley had come up +from Hampshire by the mail, was staying at the Gloster, +sent her love to Miss Crawley, and asked for breakfast +with Miss Briggs. The arrival of Mrs. Bute, which would +not have caused any extreme delight at another period, +was hailed with pleasure now; Miss Crawley being pleased +at the notion of a gossip with her sister-in-law regarding +the late Lady Crawley, the funeral arrangements pending, +and Sir Pitt's abrupt proposal to Rebecca. + +It was not until the old lady was fairly ensconced in +her usual arm-chair in the drawing-room, and the +preliminary embraces and inquiries had taken place between +the ladies, that the conspirators thought it advisable to +submit her to the operation. Who has not admired the +artifices and delicate approaches with which women +"prepare" their friends for bad news? Miss Crawley's two +friends made such an apparatus of mystery before they +broke the intelligence to her, that they worked her up to +the necessary degree of doubt and alarm. + +"And she refused Sir Pitt, my dear, dear Miss Crawley, +prepare yourself for it," Mrs. Bute said, "because-- +because she couldn't help herself." + +"Of course there was a reason," Miss Crawley answered. +"She liked somebody else. I told Briggs so yesterday." + +"LIKES somebody else!" Briggs gasped. "O my dear +friend, she is married already." + +"Married already," Mrs. Bute chimed in; and both sate +with clasped hands looking from each other at their +victim. + +"Send her to me, the instant she comes in. The little +sly wretch: how dared she not tell me?" cried out Miss +Crawley. + +"She won't come in soon. Prepare yourself, dear friend +--she's gone out for a long time--she's--she's gone +altogether." + +"Gracious goodness, and who's to make my chocolate? +Send for her and have her back; I desire that she come +back," the old lady said. + +"She decamped last night, Ma'am," cried Mrs. Bute. + +"She left a letter for me," Briggs exclaimed. "She's +married to--" + +"Prepare her, for heaven's sake. Don't torture her, my +dear Miss Briggs." + +"She's married to whom?" cries the spinster in a +nervous fury. + +"To--to a relation of--" + +"She refused Sir Pitt," cried the victim. "Speak at once. +Don't drive me mad." + +"O Ma'am--prepare her, Miss Briggs--she's married +to Rawdon Crawley." + +"Rawdon married Rebecca--governess--nobod-- +Get out of my house, you fool, you idiot--you stupid old +Briggs how dare you? You're in the plot--you made +him marry, thinking that I'd leave my money from him-- +you did, Martha," the poor old lady screamed in hysteric +sentences. + +"I, Ma'am, ask a member of this family to marry a +drawing-master's daughter?" + +"Her mother was a Montmorency," cried out the old +lady, pulling at the bell with all her might. + +"Her mother was an opera girl, and she has been on +the stage or worse herself," said Mrs. Bute. + +Miss Crawley gave a final scream, and fell back in a +faint. They were forced to take her back to the room +which she had just quitted. One fit of hysterics succeeded +another. The doctor was sent for--the apothecary arrived. +Mrs. Bute took up the post of nurse by her bedside. "Her +relations ought to be round about her," that amiable +woman said. + +She had scarcely been carried up to her room, when a +new person arrived to whom it was also necessary to break +the news. This was Sir Pitt. "Where's Becky?" he said, +coming in. "Where's her traps? She's coming with me to +Queen's Crawley." + +"Have you not heard the astonishing intelligence +regarding her surreptitious union?" Briggs asked. + +"What's that to me?" Sir Pitt asked. "I know she's +married. That makes no odds. Tell her to come down at +once, and not keep me." + +"Are you not aware, sir," Miss Briggs asked, "that she +has left our roof, to the dismay of Miss Crawley, who is +nearly killed by the intelligence of Captain Rawdon's union +with her?" + +When Sir Pitt Crawley heard that Rebecca was married +to his son, he broke out into a fury of language, which it +would do no good to repeat in this place, as indeed it +sent poor Briggs shuddering out of the room; and with her +we will shut the door upon the figure of the frenzied old +man, wild with hatred and insane with baffled desire. + +One day after he went to Queen's Crawley, he burst +like a madman into the room she had used when there +--dashed open her boxes with his foot, and flung about +her papers, clothes, and other relics. Miss Horrocks, the +butler's daughter, took some of them. The children +dressed themselves and acted plays in the others. It was +but a few days after the poor mother had gone to her +lonely burying-place; and was laid, unwept and +disregarded, in a vault full of strangers. + +"Suppose the old lady doesn't come to," Rawdon said to +his little wife, as they sate together in the snug little +Brompton lodgings. She had been trying the new piano +all the morning. The new gloves fitted her to a nicety; the +new shawls became her wonderfully; the new rings +glittered on her little hands, and the new watch ticked at her +waist; "suppose she don't come round, eh, Becky?" + +"I'LL make your fortune," she said; and Delilah patted +Samson's cheek. + +"You can do anything," he said, kissing the little hand. +"By Jove you can; and we'll drive down to the Star and +Garter, and dine, by Jove." + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +How Captain Dobbin Bought a Piano + +If there is any exhibition in all Vanity Fair which Satire +and Sentiment can visit arm in arm together; where you +light on the strangest contrasts laughable and tearful: +where you may be gentle and pathetic, or savage and +cynical with perfect propriety: it is at one of those public +assemblies, a crowd of which are advertised every day in +the last page of the Times newspaper, and over which +the late Mr. George Robins used to preside with so much +dignity. There are very few London people, as I fancy, +who have not attended at these meetings, and all with a +taste for moralizing must have thought, with a sensation +and interest not a little startling and queer, of the day +when their turn shall come too, and Mr. Hammerdown +will sell by the orders of Diogenes' assignees, or will be +instructed by the executors, to offer to public competition, +the library, furniture, plate, wardrobe, and choice cellar +of wines of Epicurus deceased. + +Even with the most selfish disposition, the Vanity Fairian, +as he witnesses this sordid part of the obsequies of a +departed friend, can't but feel some sympathies and regret. +My Lord Dives's remains are in the family vault: the +statuaries are cutting an inscription veraciously +commemorating his virtues, and the sorrows of his heir, +who is disposing of his goods. What guest at Dives's table +can pass the familiar house without a sigh? .--the familiar +house of which the lights used to shine so cheerfully at +seven o'clock, of which the hall-doors opened so readily, +of which the obsequious servants, as you passed up the +comfortable stair, sounded your name from landing to +landing, until it reached the apartment where jolly old +Dives welcomed his friends! What a number of them he +had; and what a noble way of entertaining them. How +witty people used to be here who were morose when they +got out of the door; and how courteous and friendly men +who slandered and hated each other everywhere else! He +was pompous, but with such a cook what would one not +swallow? he was rather dull, perhaps, but would not +such wine make any conversation pleasant? We must get +some of his Burgundy at any price, the mourners cry at +his club. "I got this box at old Dives's sale," Pincher says, +handing it round, "one of Louis XV's mistresses--pretty +thing, is it not?--sweet miniature," and they talk of the +way in which young Dives is dissipating his fortune. + +How changed the house is, though! The front is patched +over with bills, setting forth the particulars of the furniture +in staring capitals. They have hung a shred of carpet out +of an upstairs window--a half dozen of porters are lounging +on the dirty steps--the hall swarms with dingy guests +of oriental countenance, who thrust printed cards into +your hand, and offer to bid. Old women and amateurs +have invaded the upper apartments, pinching the bed- +curtains, poking into the feathers, shampooing the +mattresses, and clapping the wardrobe drawers to and fro. +Enterprising young housekeepers are measuring the +looking-glasses and hangings to see if they will suit the new +menage (Snob will brag for years that he has purchased +this or that at Dives's sale), and Mr. Hammerdown is +sitting on the great mahogany dining-tables, in the dining- +room below, waving the ivory hammer, and employing all +the artifices of eloquence, enthusiasm, entreaty, reason, +despair; shouting to his people; satirizing Mr. Davids for +his sluggishness; inspiriting Mr. Moss into action; +imploring, commanding, bellowing, until down comes the +hammer like fate, and we pass to the next lot. O Dives, +who would ever have thought, as we sat round the broad +table sparkling with plate and spotless linen, to have seen +such a dish at the head of it as that roaring auctioneer? + +It was rather late in the sale. The excellent drawing- +room furniture by the best makers; the rare and famous +wines selected, regardless of cost, and with the well-known +taste of the purchaser; the rich and complete set of family +plate had been sold on the previous days. Certain of the +best wines (which all had a great character among +amateurs in the neighbourhood) had been purchased for his +master, who knew them very well, by the butler of our +friend John Osborne, Esquire, of Russell Square. A small +portion of the most useful articles of the plate had been +bought by some young stockbrokers from the City. And +now the public being invited to the purchase of minor +objects, it happened that the orator on the table was +expatiating on the merits of a picture, which he sought +to recommend to his audience: it was by no means so +select or numerous a company as had attended the +previous days of the auction. + +"No. 369," roared Mr. Hammerdown. "Portrait of a +gentleman on an elephant. Who'll bid for the gentleman +on the elephant? Lift up the picture, Blowman, and let +the company examine this lot." A long, pale, military- +looking gentleman, seated demurely at the mahogany +table, could not help grinning as this valuable lot was +shown by Mr. Blowman. "Turn the elephant to the +Captain, Blowman. What shall we say, sir, for the elephant?" +but the Captain, blushing in a very hurried and discomfited +manner, turned away his head. + +"Shall we say twenty guineas for this work of art?-- +fifteen, five, name your own price. The gentleman +without the elephant is worth five pound." + +"I wonder it ain't come down with him," said a +professional wag, "he's anyhow a precious big one"; at +which (for the elephant-rider was represented as of a very +stout figure) there was a general giggle in the room. + +"Don't be trying to deprecate the value of the lot, Mr. +Moss," Mr. Hammerdown said; "let the company +examine it as a work of art--the attitude of the gallant +animal quite according to natur'; the gentleman in a +nankeen jacket, his gun in his hand, is going to the +chase; in the distance a banyhann tree and a pagody, +most likely resemblances of some interesting spot in our +famous Eastern possessions. How much for this lot? +Come, gentlemen, don't keep me here all day." + +Some one bid five shillings, at which the military +gentleman looked towards the quarter from which this +splendid offer had come, and there saw another officer +with a young lady on his arm, who both appeared to be +highly amused with the scene, and to whom, finally, this +lot was knocked down for half a guinea. He at the +table looked more surprised and discomposed than ever +when he spied this pair, and his head sank into his +military collar, and he turned his back upon them, so as +to avoid them altogether. + +Of all the other articles which Mr. Hammerdown had +the honour to offer for public competition that day it is +not our purpose to make mention, save of one only, a +little square piano, which came down from the upper +regions of the house (the state grand piano having +been disposed of previously); this the young lady tried +with a rapid and skilful hand (making the officer blush +and start again), and for it, when its turn came, her +agent began to bid. + +But there was an opposition here. The Hebrew aide-de- +camp in the service of the officer at the table bid against +the Hebrew gentleman employed by the elephant +purchasers, and a brisk battle ensued over this little piano, +the combatants being greatly encouraged by Mr. +Hammerdown. + +At last, when the competition had been prolonged for +some time, the elephant captain and lady desisted from +the race; and the hammer coming down, the auctioneer +said:--"Mr. Lewis, twenty-five," and Mr. Lewis's chief +thus became the proprietor of the little square piano. +Having effected the purchase, he sate up as if he was +greatly relieved, and the unsuccessful competitors +catching a glimpse of him at this moment, the lady +said to her friend, + +"Why, Rawdon, it's Captain Dobbin." + +I suppose Becky was discontented with the new piano +her husband had hired for her, or perhaps the +proprietors of that instrument had fetched it away, +declining farther credit, or perhaps she had a particular +attachment for the one which she had just tried to purchase, +recollecting it in old days, when she used to play upon +it, in the little sitting-room of our dear Amelia Sedley. + +The sale was at the old house in Russell Square, where +we passed some evenings together at the beginning of +this story. Good old John Sedley was a ruined man. His +name had been proclaimed as a defaulter on the Stock +Exchange, and his bankruptcy and commercial extermination +had followed. Mr. Osborne's butler came to buy some of the +famous port wine to transfer to the cellars over the way. +As for one dozen well-manufactured silver spoons and +forks at per oz., and one dozen dessert ditto ditto, +there were three young stockbrokers (Messrs. Dale, +Spiggot, and Dale, of Threadneedle Street, indeed), +who, having had dealings with the old man, and +kindnesses from him in days when he was kind to +everybody with whom he dealt, sent this little spar out +of the wreck with their love to good Mrs. Sedley; and with +respect to the piano, as it had been Amelia's, and as she +might miss it and want one now, and as Captain William +Dobbin could no more play upon it than he could dance +on the tight rope, it is probable that he did not purchase +the instrument for his own use. + +In a word, it arrived that evening at a wonderful small +cottage in a street leading from the Fulham Road--one +of those streets which have the finest romantic names-- +(this was called St. Adelaide Villas, Anna-Maria Road +West), where the houses look like baby-houses; where +the people, looking out of the first-floor windows, must +infallibly, as you think, sit with their feet in the parlours; +where the shrubs in the little gardens in front bloom with +a perennial display of little children's pinafores, little red +socks, caps, &c. (polyandria polygynia); whence you +hear the sound of jingling spinets and women singing; +where little porter pots hang on the railings sunning +themselves; whither of evenings you see City clerks +padding wearily: here it was that Mr. Clapp, the clerk of +Mr. Sedley, had his domicile, and in this asylum the good +old gentleman hid his head with his wife and daughter +when the crash came. + +Jos Sedley had acted as a man of his disposition +would, when the announcement of the family misfortune +reached him. He did not come to London, but he wrote +to his mother to draw upon his agents for whatever +money was wanted, so that his kind broken-spirited old +parents had no present poverty to fear. This done, Jos +went on at the boarding-house at Cheltenham pretty +much as before. He drove his curricle; he drank his +claret; he played his rubber; he told his Indian stories, +and the Irish widow consoled and flattered him as usual. +His present of money, needful as it was, made little +impression on his parents; and I have heard Amelia say +that the first day on which she saw her father lift up his +head after the failure was on the receipt of the packet +of forks and spoons with the young stockbrokers' love, +over which he burst out crying like a child, being greatly +more affected than even his wife, to whom the present +was addressed. Edward Dale, the junior of the house, +who purchased the spoons for the firm, was, in fact, very +sweet upon Amelia, and offered for her in spite of all. +He married Miss Louisa Cutts (daughter of Higham and +Cutts, the eminent cornfactors) with a handsome fortune +in 1820; and is now living in splendour, and with a +numerous family, at his elegant villa, Muswell Hill. But +we must not let the recollections of this good fellow +cause us to diverge from the principal history. + +I hope the reader has much too good an opinion of +Captain and Mrs. Crawley to suppose that they ever +would have dreamed of paying a visit to so remote a +district as Bloomsbury, if they thought the family whom +they proposed to honour with a visit were not merely +out of fashion, but out of money, and could be +serviceable to them in no possible manner. Rebecca was +entirely surprised at the sight of the comfortable old house +where she had met with no small kindness, ransacked by +brokers and bargainers, and its quiet family treasures +given up to public desecration and plunder. A month +after her flight, she had bethought her of Amelia, and +Rawdon, with a horse-laugh, had expressed a perfect +willingness to see young George Osborne again. "He's a +very agreeable acquaintance, Beck," the wag added. "I'd +like to sell him another horse, Beck. I'd like to play a +few more games at billiards with him. He'd be what I +call useful just now, Mrs. C.--ha, ha!" by which sort of +speech it is not to be supposed that Rawdon Crawley had +a deliberate desire to cheat Mr. Osborne at play, but only +wished to take that fair advantage of him which almost +every sporting gentleman in Vanity Fair considers to be +his due from his neighbour. + +The old aunt was long in "coming-to." A month had +elapsed. Rawdon was denied the door by Mr. Bowls; his +servants could not get a lodgment in the house at Park +Lane; his letters were sent back unopened. Miss Crawley +never stirred out--she was unwell--and Mrs. Bute +remained still and never left her. Crawley and his wife both +of them augured evil from the continued presence of +Mrs. Bute. + +"Gad, I begin to perceive now why she was always +bringing us together at Queen's Crawley," Rawdon said. + +"What an artful little woman!" ejaculated Rebecca. + +"Well, I don't regret it, if you don't," the Captain +cried, still in an amorous rapture with his wife, who +rewarded him with a kiss by way of reply, and was +indeed not a little gratified by the generous confidence +of her husband. + +"If he had but a little more brains," she thought to +herself, "I might make something of him"; but she never +let him perceive the opinion she had of him; listened +with indefatigable complacency to his stories of the +stable and the mess; laughed at all his jokes; felt the +greatest interest in Jack Spatterdash, whose cab-horse +had come down, and Bob Martingale, who had been +taken up in a gambling-house, and Tom Cinqbars, who +was going to ride the steeplechase. When he came home +she was alert and happy: when he went out she pressed +him to go: when he stayed at home, she played and +sang for him, made him good drinks, superintended his +dinner, warmed his slippers, and steeped his soul in +comfort. The best of women (I have heard my grandmother +say) are hypocrites. We don't know how much +they hide from us: how watchful they are when they +seem most artless and confidential: how often those frank +smiles which they wear so easily, are traps to cajole or +elude or disarm--I don't mean in your mere coquettes, +but your domestic models, and paragons of female virtue. +Who has not seen a woman hide the dulness of a stupid +husband, or coax the fury of a savage one? We accept +this amiable slavishness, and praise a woman for it: we +call this pretty treachery truth. A good housewife is of +necessity a humbug; and Cornelia's husband was +hoodwinked, as Potiphar was--only in a different way. + +By these attentions, that veteran rake, Rawdon Crawley, +found himself converted into a very happy and submissive +married man. His former haunts knew him not. +They asked about him once or twice at his clubs, but did +not miss him much: in those booths of Vanity Fair people +seldom do miss each other. His secluded wife ever smiling +and cheerful, his little comfortable lodgings, snug +meals, and homely evenings, had all the charms of novelty +and secrecy. The marriage was not yet declared to the +world, or published in the Morning Post. All his creditors +would have come rushing on him in a body, had they +known that he was united to a woman without fortune. +"My relations won't cry fie upon me," Becky said, with +rather a bitter laugh; and she was quite contented to wait +until the old aunt should be reconciled, before she claimed +her place in society. So she lived at Brompton, and +meanwhile saw no one, or only those few of her husband's +male companions who were admitted into her little +dining-room. These were all charmed with her. The little +dinners, the laughing and chatting, the music afterwards, +delighted all who participated in these enjoyments. Major +Martingale never thought about asking to +see the marriage licence, Captain Cinqbars was perfectly +enchanted with her skill in making punch. And young +Lieutenant Spatterdash (who was fond of piquet, and +whom Crawley would often invite) was evidently and +quickly smitten by Mrs. Crawley; but her own +circumspection and modesty never forsook her for a +moment, and Crawley's reputation as a fire-eating and +jealous warrior was a further and complete defence to +his little wife. + +There are gentlemen of very good blood and fashion +in this city, who never have entered a lady's drawing- +room; so that though Rawdon Crawley's marriage might +be talked about in his county, where, of course, Mrs. +Bute had spread the news, in London it was doubted, or +not heeded, or not talked about at all. He lived comfortably +on credit. He had a large capital of debts, which +laid out judiciously, will carry a man along for many +years, and on which certain men about town contrive +to live a hundred times better than even men with ready +money can do. Indeed who is there that walks London +streets, but can point out a half-dozen of men riding +by him splendidly, while he is on foot, courted by fashion, +bowed into their carriages by tradesmen, denying +themselves nothing, and living on who knows what? We +see Jack Thriftless prancing in the park, or darting in his +brougham down Pall Mall: we eat his dinners served on +his miraculous plate. "How did this begin," we say, "or +where will it end?" "My dear fellow," I heard Jack once +say, "I owe money in every capital in Europe." The end +must come some day, but in the meantime Jack thrives +as much as ever; people are glad enough to shake him by +the hand, ignore the little dark stories that are whispered +every now and then against him, and pronounce him a +good-natured, jovial, reckless fellow. + +Truth obliges us to confess that Rebecca had married a +gentleman of this order. Everything was plentiful in his +house but ready money, of which their menage pretty +early felt the want; and reading the Gazette one day, +and coming upon the announcement of "Lieutenant G. +Osborne to be Captain by purchase, vice Smith, who +exchanges," Rawdon uttered that sentiment regarding +Amelia's lover, which ended in the visit to Russell Square. + +When Rawdon and his wife wished to communicate +with Captain Dobbin at the sale, and to know particulars +of the catastrophe which had befallen Rebecca's +old acquaintances, the Captain had vanished; and such +information as they got was from a stray porter or broker +at the auction. + +"Look at them with their hooked beaks," Becky said, +getting into the buggy, her picture under her arm, in +great glee. "They're like vultures after a battle." + +"Don't know. Never was in action, my dear. Ask +Martingale; he was in Spain, aide-de-camp to General +Blazes." + +"He was a very kind old man, Mr. Sedley," Rebecca +said; "I'm really sorry he's gone wrong." + +"O stockbrokers--bankrupts--used to it, you know," +Rawdon replied, cutting a fly off the horse's ear. + +"I wish we could have afforded some of the plate, +Rawdon," the wife continued sentimentally. "Five-and- +twenty guineas was monstrously dear for that little piano. +We chose it at Broadwood's for Amelia, when she came +from school. It only cost five-and-thirty then." + +"What-d'-ye-call'em--'Osborne,' will cry off now, I +suppose, since the family is smashed. How cut up your +pretty little friend will be; hey, Becky?" + +"I daresay she'll recover it," Becky said with a smile +--and they drove on and talked about something else. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +Who Played on the Piano Captain Dobbin Bought + +Our surprised story now finds itself for a moment +among very famous events and personages, and +hanging on to the skirts of history. When the eagles +of Napoleon Bonaparte, the Corsican upstart, were +flying from Provence, where they had perched after a brief +sojourn in Elba, and from steeple to steeple until they +reached the towers of Notre Dame, I wonder whether the +Imperial birds had any eye for a little corner of the parish +of Bloomsbury, London, which you might have thought so quiet, +that even the whirring and flapping of those mighty wings +would pass unobserved there? + +"Napoleon has landed at Cannes." Such news might +create a panic at Vienna, and cause Russia to drop his +cards, and take Prussia into a corner, and Talleyrand +and Metternich to wag their heads together, while Prince +Hardenberg, and even the present Marquis of Londonderry, +were puzzled; but how was this intelligence to affect a young +lady in Russell Square, before whose door the watchman +sang the hours when she was asleep: who, if she +strolled in the square, was guarded there by the +railings and the beadle: who, if she walked ever so short +a distance to buy a ribbon in Southampton Row, was +followed by Black Sambo with an enormous cane: who +was always cared for, dressed, put to bed, and watched +over by ever so many guardian angels, with and without +wages? Bon Dieu, I say, is it not hard that the fateful +rush of the great Imperial struggle can't take place without +affecting a poor little harmless girl of eighteen, who +is occupied in billing and cooing, or working muslin +collars in Russell Square? You too, kindly, homely flower! +--is the great roaring war tempest coming to sweep you +down, here, although cowering under the shelter of +Holborn? Yes; Napoleon is flinging his last stake, and poor +little Emmy Sedley's happiness forms, somehow, part of it. + +In the first place, her father's fortune was swept down +with that fatal news. All his speculations had of late gone +wrong with the luckless old gentleman. Ventures had +failed; merchants had broken; funds had risen when he +calculated they would fall. What need to particularize? +If success is rare and slow, everybody knows how quick +and easy ruin is. Old Sedley had kept his own sad counsel. +Everything seemed to go on as usual in the quiet, +opulent house; the good-natured mistress pursuing, quite +unsuspiciously, her bustling idleness, and daily easy +avocations; the daughter absorbed still in one selfish, tender +thought, and quite regardless of all the world besides, +when that final crash came, under which the worthy +family fell. + +One night Mrs. Sedley was writing cards for a party; +the Osbornes had given one, and she must not be +behindhand; John Sedley, who had come home very late from +the City, sate silent at the chimney side, while his wife +was prattling to him; Emmy had gone up to her room +ailing and low-spirited. "She's not happy," the mother +went on. "George Osborne neglects her. I've no patience +with the airs of those people. The girls have not been in +the house these three weeks; and George has been twice +in town without coming. Edward Dale saw him at the +Opera. Edward would marry her I'm sure: and there's +Captain Dobbin who, I think, would--only I hate all +army men. Such a dandy as George has become. With +his military airs, indeed! We must show some folks that +we're as good as they. Only give Edward Dale any +encouragement, and you'll see. We must have a party, Mr. +S. Why don't you speak, John? Shall I say Tuesday fortnight? +Why don't you answer? Good God, John, what has happened?" + +John Sedley sprang up out of his chair to meet his +wife, who ran to him. He seized her in his arms, and +said with a hasty voice, "We're ruined, Mary. We've +got the world to begin over again, dear. It's best that you +should know all, and at once." As he spoke, he trembled +in every limb, and almost fell. He thought the news would +have overpowered his wife--his wife, to whom he had +never said a hard word. But it was he that was the most +moved, sudden as the shock was to her. When he sank +back into his seat, it was the wife that took the office of +consoler. She took his trembling hand, and kissed it, and +put it round her neck: she called him her John--her dear +John--her old man--her kind old man; she poured out a +hundred words of incoherent love and tenderness; her +faithful voice and simple caresses wrought this sad heart +up to an inexpressible delight and anguish, and cheered +and solaced his over-burdened soul. + +Only once in the course of the long night as they sate +together, and poor Sedley opened his pent-up soul, and +told the story of his losses and embarrassments--the +treason of some of his oldest friends, the manly kindness +of some, from whom he never could have expected it--in +a general confession--only once did the faithful wife give +way to emotion. + +"My God, my God, it will break Emmy's heart," she +said. + +The father had forgotten the poor girl. She was lying, +awake and unhappy, overhead. In the midst of friends, +home, and kind parents, she was alone. To how many +people can any one tell all? Who will be open where there +is no sympathy, or has call to speak to those who never +can understand? Our gentle Amelia was thus solitary. She +had no confidante, so to speak, ever since she had anything +to confide. She could not tell the old mother her +doubts and cares; the would-be sisters seemed every day +more strange to her. And she had misgivings and fears +which she dared not acknowledge to herself, though she +was always secretly brooding over them. + +Her heart tried to persist in asserting that George +Osborne was worthy and faithful to her, though she knew +otherwise. How many a thing had she said, and got no +echo from him. How many suspicions of selfishness and +indifference had she to encounter and obstinately +overcome. To whom could the poor little martyr tell these +daily struggles and tortures? Her hero himself only half +understood her. She did not dare to own that the man she +loved was her inferior; or to feel that she had given her +heart away too soon. Given once, the pure bashful +maiden was too modest, too tender, too trustful, too +weak, too much woman to recall it. We are Turks with +the affections of our women; and have made them +subscribe to our doctrine too. We let their bodies go abroad +liberally enough, with smiles and ringlets and pink +bonnets to disguise them instead of veils and yakmaks. But +their souls must be seen by only one man, and they obey +not unwillingly, and consent to remain at home as our +slaves--ministering to us and doing drudgery for us. + +So imprisoned and tortured was this gentle little heart, +when in the month of March, Anno Domini 1815, +Napoleon landed at Cannes, and Louis XVIII fled, and all +Europe was in alarm, and the funds fell, and old John +Sedley was ruined. + +We are not going to follow the worthy old stockbroker +through those last pangs and agonies of ruin through +which he passed before his commercial demise befell. +They declared him at the Stock Exchange; he was +absent from his house of business: his bills were protested: +his act of bankruptcy formal. The house and furniture of +Russell Square were seized and sold up, and he and his +family were thrust away, as we have seen, to hide their +heads where they might. + +John Sedley had not the heart to review the domestic +establishment who have appeared now and anon in our +pages and of whom he was now forced by poverty to +take leave. The wages of those worthy people were +discharged with that punctuality which men frequently show +who only owe in great sums--they were sorry to leave +good places--but they did not break their hearts at parting +from their adored master and mistress. Amelia's maid +was profuse in condolences, but went off quite resigned +to better herself in a genteeler quarter of the town. Black +Sambo, with the infatuation of his profession, determined +on setting up a public-house. Honest old Mrs. Blenkinsop +indeed, who had seen the birth of Jos and Amelia, and +the wooing of John Sedley and his wife, was for staying +by them without wages, having amassed a considerable +sum in their service: and she accompanied the fallen +people into their new and humble place of refuge, where +she tended them and grumbled against them for a while. + +Of all Sedley's opponents in his debates with his creditors +which now ensued, and harassed the feelings of the +humiliated old gentleman so severely, that in six weeks he +oldened more than he had done for fifteen years before-- +the most determined and obstinate seemed to be John +Osborne, his old friend and neighbour--John Osborne, +whom he had set up in life--who was under a hundred +obligations to him--and whose son was to marry Sedley's +daughter. Any one of these circumstances would account +for the bitterness of Osborne's opposition. + +When one man has been under very remarkable +obligations to another, with whom he subsequently quarrels, +a common sense of decency, as it were, makes of the +former a much severer enemy than a mere stranger +would be. To account for your own hard-heartedness and +ingratitude in such a case, you are bound to prove the +other party's crime. It is not that you are selfish, brutal, +and angry at the failure of a speculation--no, no--it is +that your partner has led you into it by the basest treachery +and with the most sinister motives. From a mere +sense of consistency, a persecutor is bound to show that +the fallen man is a villain--otherwise he, the persecutor, +is a wretch himself. + +And as a general rule, which may make all creditors +who are inclined to be severe pretty comfortable in their +minds, no men embarrassed are altogether honest, very +likely. They conceal something; they exaggerate chances +of good luck; hide away the real state of affairs; say that +things are flourishing when they are hopeless, keep a +smiling face (a dreary smile it is) upon the verge of +bankruptcy--are ready to lay hold of any pretext for +delay or of any money, so as to stave off the inevitable +ruin a few days longer. "Down with such dishonesty," +says the creditor in triumph, and reviles his sinking +enemy. "You fool, why do you catch at a straw?" calm +good sense says to the man that is drowning. "You villain, +why do you shrink from plunging into the irretrievable +Gazette?" says prosperity to the poor devil battling in +that black gulf. Who has not remarked the readiness with +which the closest of friends and honestest of men suspect +and accuse each other of cheating when they fall out +on money matters? Everybody does it. Everybody is right, +I suppose, and the world is a rogue. + +Then Osborne had the intolerable sense of former +benefits to goad and irritate him: these are always a +cause of hostility aggravated. Finally, he had to break off +the match between Sedley's daughter and his son; and +as it had gone very far indeed, and as the poor girl's +happiness and perhaps character were compromised, it was +necessary to show the strongest reasons for the rupture, +and for John Osborne to prove John Sedley to be a very +bad character indeed. + +At the meetings of creditors, then, he comported himself +with a savageness and scorn towards Sedley, which +almost succeeded in breaking the heart of that ruined +bankrupt man. On George's intercourse with Amelia he +put an instant veto--menacing the youth with maledictions +if he broke his commands, and vilipending the +poor innocent girl as the basest and most artful of vixens. +One of the great conditions of anger and hatred is, that +you must tell and believe lies against the hated object, in +order, as we said, to be consistent. + +When the great crash came--the announcement of +ruin, and the departure from Russell Square, and the +declaration that all was over between her and George--all +over between her and love, her and happiness, her and +faith in the world--a brutal letter from John Osborne +told her in a few curt lines that her father's conduct had +been of such a nature that all engagements between the +families were at an end--when the final award came, it +did not shock her so much as her parents, as her mother +rather expected (for John Sedley himself was entirely +prostrate in the ruins of his own affairs and shattered +honour). Amelia took the news very palely and calmly. +It was only the confirmation of the dark presages which +had long gone before. It was the mere reading of the +sentence--of the crime she had long ago been guilty--the +crime of loving wrongly, too violently, against reason. +She told no more of her thoughts now than she had +before. She seemed scarcely more unhappy now when +convinced all hope was over, than before when she felt but +dared not confess that it was gone. So she changed from +the large house to the small one without any mark or +difference; remained in her little room for the most part; +pined silently; and died away day by day. I do not mean +to say that all females are so. My dear Miss Bullock, I +do not think your heart would break in this way. You are +a strong-minded young woman with proper principles. +I do not venture to say that mine would; it has suffered, +and, it must be confessed, survived. But there are some +souls thus gently constituted, thus frail, and delicate, and +tender. + +Whenever old John Sedley thought of the affair +between George and Amelia, or alluded to it, it was with +bitterness almost as great as Mr. Osborne himself had +shown. He cursed Osborne and his family as heartless, +wicked, and ungrateful. No power on earth, he swore, +would induce him to marry his daughter to the son of +such a villain, and he ordered Emmy to banish George +from her mind, and to return all the presents and letters +which she had ever had from him. + +She promised acquiescence, and tried to obey. She put +up the two or three trinkets: and, as for the letters, she +drew them out of the place.where she kept them; and +read them over--as if she did not know them by heart +already: but she could not part with them. That effort +was too much for her; she placed them back in her +bosom again--as you have seen a woman nurse a child +that is dead. Young Amelia felt that she would die or lose +her senses outright, if torn away from this last consolation. +How she used to blush and lighten up when those +letters came! How she used to trip away with a beating +heart, so that she might read unseen! If they were cold, +yet how perversely this fond little soul interpreted them +into warmth. If they were short or selfish, what excuses +she found for the writer! + +It was over these few worthless papers that she brooded +and brooded. She lived in her past life--every letter +seemed to recall some circumstance of it. How well she +remembered them all! His looks and tones, his dress, +what he said and how--these relics and remembrances +of dead affection were all that were left her in the world. +And the business of her life, was--to watch the corpse +of Love. + +To death she looked with inexpressible longing. Then, +she thought, I shall always be able to follow him. I am not +praising her conduct or setting her up as a model for +Miss Bullock to imitate. Miss B. knows how to regulate +her feelings better than this poor little creature. Miss B. +would never have committed herself as that imprudent +Amelia had done; pledged her love irretrievably; +confessed her heart away, and got back nothing--only a +brittle promise which was snapt and worthless in a +moment. A long engagement is a partnership which one +party is free to keep or to break, but which involves all +the capital of the other. + +Be cautious then, young ladies; be wary how you +engage. Be shy of loving frankly; never tell all you feel, or +(a better way still), feel very little. See the consequences +of being prematurely honest and confiding, and mistrust +yourselves and everybody. Get yourselves married as they +do in France, where the lawyers are the bridesmaids and +confidantes. At any rate, never have any feelings which +may make you uncomfortable, or make any promises +which you cannot at any required moment command and +withdraw. That is the way to get on, and be respected, +and have a virtuous character in Vanity Fair. + +If Amelia could have heard the comments regarding +her which were made in the circle from which her father's +ruin had just driven her, she would have seen what her +own crimes were, and how entirely her character was +jeopardised. Such criminal imprudence Mrs. Smith never +knew of; such horrid familiarities Mrs. Brown had +always condemned, and the end might be a warning to HER +daughters. "Captain Osborne, of course, could not marry +a bankrupt's daughter," the Misses Dobbin said. "It was +quite enough to have been swindled by the father. As for +that little Amelia, her folly had really passed all--" + +"All what?" Captain Dobbin roared out. "Haven't they +been engaged ever since they were children? Wasn't it +as good as a marriage? Dare any soul on earth breathe a +word against the sweetest, the purest, the tenderest, the +most angelical of young women?" + +"La, William, don't be so highty-tighty with US. We're +not men. We can't fight you," Miss Jane said. "We've said +nothing against Miss Sedley: but that her conduct +throughout was MOST IMPRUDENT, not to call it by any +worse name; and that her parents are people who +certainly merit their misfortunes." + +"Hadn't you better, now that Miss Sedley is free, +propose for her yourself, William?" Miss Ann asked +sarcastically. "It would be a most eligible family +connection. He! he!" + +"I marry her!" Dobbin said, blushing very much, and +talking quick. "If you are so ready, young ladies, to chop +and change, do you suppose that she is? Laugh and sneer +at that angel. She can't hear it; and she's miserable and +unfortunate, and deserves to be laughed at. Go on +joking, Ann. You're the wit of the family, and the others +like to hear it." + +"I must tell you again we're not in a barrack, William," +Miss Ann remarked. + +"In a barrack, by Jove--I wish anybody in a barrack +would say what you do," cried out this uproused British +lion. "I should like to hear a man breathe a word against +her, by Jupiter. But men don't talk in this way, Ann: it's +only women, who get together and hiss, and shriek, and +cackle. There, get away--don't begin to cry. I only said +you were a couple of geese," Will Dobbin said, perceiving +Miss Ann's pink eyes were beginning to moisten as +usual. "Well, you're not geese, you're swans--anything +you like, only do, do leave Miss Sedley alone." + +Anything like William's infatuation about that silly little +flirting, ogling thing was never known, the mamma +and sisters agreed together in thinking: and they trembled +lest, her engagement being off with Osborne, she should +take up immediately her other admirer and Captain. +In which forebodings these worthy young women no +doubt judged according to the best of their experience; or +rather (for as yet they had had no opportunities of +marrying or of jilting) according to their own notions of +right and wrong. + +"It is a mercy, Mamma, that the regiment is ordered +abroad," the girls said. "THIS danger, at any rate, is +spared our brother." + +Such, indeed, was the fact; and so it is that the French +Emperor comes in to perform a part in this domestic +comedy of Vanity Fair which we are now playing, and +which would never have been enacted without the +intervention of this august mute personage. It was he +that ruined the Bourbons and Mr. John Sedley. It was +he whose arrival in his capital called up all France in +arms to defend him there; and all Europe to oust him. +While the French nation and army were swearing fidelity +round the eagles in the Champ de Mars, four mighty +European hosts were getting in motion for the great +chasse a l'aigle; and one of these was a British army, of +which two heroes of ours, Captain Dobbin and Captain +Osborne, formed a portion. + +The news of Napoleon's escape and landing was +received by the gallant --th with a fiery delight and +enthusiasm, which everybody can understand who knows +that famous corps. From the colonel to the smallest +drummer in the regiment, all were filled with hope and +ambition and patriotic fury; and thanked the French Emperor +as for a personal kindness in coming to disturb the peace +of Europe. Now was the time the --th had so long +panted for, to show their comrades in arms that they +could fight as well as the Peninsular veterans, and that +all the pluck and valour of the --th had not been killed +by the West Indies and the yellow fever. Stubble and +Spooney looked to get their companies without purchase. +Before the end of the campaign (which she resolved +to share), Mrs. Major O'Dowd hoped to write +herself Mrs. Colonel O'Dowd, C.B. Our two friends +(Dobbin and Osborne) were quite as much excited as the +rest: and each in his way--Mr. Dobbin very quietly, Mr. +Osborne very loudly and energetically--was bent upon +doing his duty, and gaining his share of honour and +distinction. + +The agitation thrilling through the country and army +in consequence of this news was so great, that private +matters were little heeded: and hence probably George +Osborne, just gazetted to his company, busy with preparations +for the march, which must come inevitably, and +panting for further promotion--was not so much affected +by other incidents which would have interested him at a +more quiet period. He was not, it must be confessed, +very much cast down by good old Mr. Sedley's catastrophe. +He tried his new uniform, which became him +very handsomely, on the day when the first meeting of +the creditors of the unfortunate gentleman took place. +His father told him of the wicked, rascally, shameful +conduct of the bankrupt, reminded him of what he had +said about Amelia, and that their connection was broken +off for ever; and gave him that evening a good sum of +money to pay for the new clothes and epaulets in which +he looked so well. Money was always useful to this free- +handed young fellow, and he took it without many words. +The bills were up in the Sedley house, where he had +passed so many, many happy hours. He could see +them as he walked from home that night (to the Old +Slaughters', where he put up when in town) shining white +in the moon. That comfortable home was shut, then, upon +Amelia and her parents: where had they taken refuge? +The thought of their ruin affected him not a little. He +was very melancholy that night in the coffee-room at +the Slaughters'; and drank a good deal, as his comrades +remarked there. + +Dobbin came in presently, cautioned him about the +drink, which he only took, he said, because he was +deuced low; but when his friend began to put to him +clumsy inquiries, and asked him for news in a significant +manner, Osborne declined entering into conversation with +him, avowing, however, that he was devilish disturbed +and unhappy. + +Three days afterwards, Dobbin found Osborne in his +room at the barracks--his head on the table, a number +of papers about, the young Captain evidently in a state +of great despondency. "She--she's sent me back some +things I gave her--some damned trinkets. Look here!" +There was a little packet directed in the well-known hand +to Captain George Osborne, and some things lying about +--a ring, a silver knife he had bought, as a boy, for her +at a fair; a gold chain, and a locket with hair in it. "It's +all over," said he, with a groan of sickening remorse. +"Look, Will, you may read it if you like." + +There was a little letter of a few lines, to which he +pointed, which said: + + +My papa has ordered me to return to you these +presents, which you made in happier days to me; and I +am to write to you for the last time. I think, I know you +feel as much as I do the blow which has come upon us. +It is I that absolve you from an engagement which is +impossible in our present misery. I am sure you had no +share in it, or in the cruel suspicions of Mr. Osborne, +which are the hardest of all our griefs to bear. Farewell. +Farewell. I pray God to strengthen me to bear this and +other calamities, and to bless you always. A. + +I shall often play upon the piano--your piano. It was +like you to send it. + +Dobbin was very soft-hearted. The sight of women +and children in pain always used to melt him. The idea +of Amelia broken-hearted and lonely tore that good- +natured soul with anguish. And he broke out into an +emotion, which anybody who likes may consider unmanly. +He swore that Amelia was an angel, to which Osborne +said aye with all his heart. He, too, had been reviewing +the history of their lives--and had seen her from her +childhood to her present age, so sweet, so innocent, +so charmingly simple, and artlessly fond and tender. + +What a pang it was to lose all that: to have had it and +not prized it! A thousand homely scenes and recollections +crowded on him--in which he always saw her good +and beautiful. And for himself, he blushed with remorse +and shame, as the remembrance of his own selfishness +and indifference contrasted with that perfect purity. For +a while, glory, war, everything was forgotten, and the +pair of friends talked about her only. + +"Where are they?" Osborne asked, after a long talk, +and a long pause--and, in truth, with no little shame at +thinking that he had taken no steps to follow her. "Where +are they? There's no address to the note." + +Dobbin knew. He had not merely sent the piano; but +had written a note to Mrs. Sedley, and asked permission +to come and see her--and he had seen her, and Amelia +too, yesterday, before he came down to Chatham; and, +what is more, he had brought that farewell letter and +packet which had so moved them. + +The good-natured fellow had found Mrs. Sedley only +too willing to receive him, and greatly agitated by the +arrival of the piano, which, as she conjectured, MUST have +come from George, and was a signal of amity on his +part. Captain Dobbin did not correct this error of the +worthy lady, but listened to all her story of complaints +and misfortunes with great sympathy--condoled with +her losses and privations, and agreed in reprehending the +cruel conduct of Mr. Osborne towards his first benefactor. +When she had eased her overflowing bosom somewhat, +and poured forth many of her sorrows, he had the +courage to ask actually to see Amelia, who was above in +her room as usual, and whom her mother led trembling +downstairs. + +Her appearance was so ghastly, and her look of despair +so pathetic, that honest William Dobbin was frightened +as he beheld it; and read the most fatal forebodings in +that pale fixed face. After sitting in his company a minute +or two, she put the packet into his hand, and said, +"Take this to Captain Osborne, if you please, and--and I +hope he's quite well--and it was very kind of you to +come and see us--and we like our new house very much. +And I--I think I'll go upstairs, Mamma, for I'm not very +strong." And with this, and a curtsey and a smile, the +poor child went her way. The mother, as she led her up, +cast back looks of anguish towards Dobbin. The good +fellow wanted no such appeal. He loved her himself too +fondly for that. Inexpressible grief, and pity, and terror +pursued him, and he came away as if he was a criminal +after seeing her. + +When Osborne heard that his friend had found her, +he made hot and anxious inquiries regarding the poor +child. How was she? How did she look? What did she +say? His comrade took his hand, and looked him in the +face. + +"George, she's dying," William Dobbin said--and could +speak no more. + +There was a buxom Irish servant-girl, who performed +all the duties of the little house where the Sedley family +had found refuge: and this girl had in vain, on many +previous days, striven to give Amelia aid or consolation. +Emmy was much too sad to answer, or even to be aware +of the attempts the other was making in her favour. + +Four hours after the talk between Dobbin and Osborne, +this servant-maid came into Amelia's room, where she +sate as usual, brooding silently over her letters--her +little treasures. The girl, smiling, and looking arch and +happy, made many trials to attract poor Emmy's +attention, who, however, took no heed of her. + +"Miss Emmy," said the girl. + +"I'm coming," Emmy said, not looking round. + +"There's a message," the maid went on. "There's +something--somebody--sure, here's a new letter for you-- +don't be reading them old ones any more." And she gave +her a letter, which Emmy took, and read. + +"I must see you," the letter said. "Dearest Emmy-- +dearest love--dearest wife, come to me." + +George and her mother were outside, waiting until she +had read the letter. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + + +Miss Crawley at Nurse + +We have seen how Mrs. Firkin, the lady's maid, as soon +as any event of importance to the Crawley family came +to her knowledge, felt bound to communicate it to Mrs. +Bute Crawley, at the Rectory; and have before +mentioned how particularly kind and attentive that good- +natured lady was to Miss Crawley's confidential servant. +She had been a gracious friend to Miss Briggs, the +companion, also; and had secured the latter's good-will by a +number of those attentions and promises, which cost so +little in the making, and are yet so valuable and agreeable to +the recipient. Indeed every good economist and +manager of a household must know how cheap and yet +how amiable these professions are, and what a flavour +they give to the most homely dish in life. Who was the +blundering idiot who said that "fine words butter no +parsnips"? Half the parsnips of society are served and +rendered palatable with no other sauce. As the immortal +Alexis Soyer can make more delicious soup for a half- +penny than an ignorant cook can concoct with pounds of +vegetables and meat, so a skilful artist will make a few +simple and pleasing phrases go farther than ever so much +substantial benefit-stock in the hands of a mere bungler. +Nay, we know that substantial benefits often sicken some +stomachs; whereas, most will digest any amount of fine +words, and be always eager for more of the same food. +Mrs. Bute had told Briggs and Firkin so often of the +depth of her affection for them; and what she would do, +if she had Miss Crawley's fortune, for friends so excellent +and attached, that the ladies in question had the deepest +regard for her; and felt as much gratitude and +confidence as if Mrs. Bute had loaded them with the most +expensive favours. + +Rawdon Crawley, on the other hand, like a selfish +heavy dragoon as he was, never took the least trouble to +conciliate his aunt's aides-de-camp, showed his contempt +for the pair with entire frankness--made Firkin pull off +his boots on one occasion--sent her out in the rain on +ignominious messages--and if he gave her a guinea, flung +it to her as if it were a box on the ear. As his aunt, too, +made a butt of Briggs, the Captain followed the +example, and levelled his jokes at her--jokes about as +delicate as a kick from his charger. Whereas, Mrs. Bute +consulted her in matters of taste or difficulty, admired +her poetry, and by a thousand acts of kindness and +politeness, showed her appreciation of Briggs; and if she +made Firkin a twopenny-halfpenny present, accompanied +it with so many compliments, that the twopence-half- +penny was transmuted into gold in the heart of the grateful +waiting-maid, who, besides, was looking forwards +quite contentedly to some prodigious benefit which must +happen to her on the day when Mrs. Bute came into her +fortune. + +The different conduct of these two people is pointed +out respectfully to the attention of persons commencing +the world. Praise everybody, I say to such: never be +squeamish, but speak out your compliment both point- +blank in a man's face, and behind his back, when +you know there is a reasonable chance of his hearing it +again. Never lose a chance of saying a kind word. As +Collingwood never saw a vacant place in his estate but +he took an acorn out of his pocket and popped it in; +so deal with your compliments through life. An acorn +costs nothing; but it may sprout into a prodigious bit of +timber. + +In a word, during Rawdon Crawley's prosperity, he was +only obeyed with sulky acquiescence; when his disgrace +came, there was nobody to help or pity him. Whereas, +when Mrs. Bute took the command at Miss Crawley's +house, the garrison there were charmed to act under +such a leader, expecting all sorts of promotion from her +promises, her generosity, and her kind words. + +That he would consider himself beaten, after one defeat, +and make no attempt to regain the position he had +lost, Mrs. Bute Crawley never allowed herself to suppose. +She knew Rebecca to be too clever and spirited and +desperate a woman to submit without a struggle; and felt +that she must prepare for that combat, and be incessantly +watchful against assault; or mine, or surprise. + +In the first place, though she held the town, was she +sure of the principal inhabitant? Would Miss Crawley +herself hold out; and had she not a secret longing to +welcome back the ousted adversary? The old lady liked +Rawdon, and Rebecca, who amused her. Mrs. Bute could +not disguise from herself the fact that none of her party +could so contribute to the pleasures of the town-bred +lady. "My girls' singing, after that little odious governess's, +I know is unbearable," the candid Rector's wife +owned to herself. "She always used to go to sleep when +Martha and Louisa played their duets. Jim's stiff +college manners and poor dear Bute's talk about his dogs +and horses always annoyed her. If I took her to the +Rectory, she would grow angry with us all, and fly, I +know she would; and might fall into that horrid +Rawdon's clutches again, and be the victim of that little +viper of a Sharp. Meanwhile, it is clear to me that she is +exceedingly unwell, and cannot move for some weeks, at +any rate; during which we must think of some plan to +protect her from the arts of those unprincipled people." + +In the very best-of moments, if anybody told Miss +Crawley that she was, or looked ill, the trembling old +lady sent off for her doctor; and I daresay she was very +unwell after the sudden family event, which might serve +to shake stronger nerves than hers. At least, Mrs. Bute +thought it was her duty to inform the physician, and the +apothecary, and the dame-de-compagnie, and the domestics, +that Miss Crawley was in a most critical state, and +that they were to act accordingly. She had the street laid +knee-deep with straw; and the knocker put by with Mr. +Bowls's plate. She insisted that the Doctor should call +twice a day; and deluged her patient with draughts every +two hours. When anybody entered the room, she uttered +a shshshsh so sibilant and ominous, that it frightened the +poor old lady in her bed, from which she could +not look without seeing Mrs. Bute's beady eyes eagerly +fixed on her, as the latter sate steadfast in the arm-chair +by the bedside. They seemed to lighten in the dark (for +she kept the curtains closed) as she moved about the +room on velvet paws like a cat. There Miss Crawley lay +for days--ever so many days--Mr. Bute reading books +of devotion to her: for nights, long nights, during which +she had to hear the watchman sing, the night-light sputter; +visited at midnight, the last thing, by the stealthy apothecary; +and then left to look at Mrs. Bute's twinkling eyes, +or the flicks of yellow that the rushlight threw on the +dreary darkened ceiling. Hygeia herself would have +fallen sick under such a regimen; and how much more +this poor old nervous victim? It has been said that when +she was in health and good spirits, this venerable +inhabitant of Vanity Fair had as free notions about religion +and morals as Monsieur de Voltaire himself could desire, +but when illness overtook her, it was aggravated by +the most dreadful terrors of death, and an utter cowardice +took possession of the prostrate old sinner. + +Sick-bed homilies and pious reflections are, to be sure, +out of place in mere story-books, and we are not going +(after the fashion of some novelists of the present day) +to cajole the.public into a sermon, when it is only a +comedy that the reader pays his money to witness. But, +without preaching, the truth may surely be borne in mind, +that the bustle, and triumph, and laughter, and gaiety +which Vanity Fair exhibits in public, do not always pursue +the performer into private life, and that the most +dreary depression of spirits and dismal repentances +sometimes overcome him. Recollection of the best ordained +banquets will scarcely cheer sick epicures. Reminiscences +of the most becoming dresses and brilliant ball triumphs +will go very little way to console faded beauties. Perhaps +statesmen, at a particular period of existence, are +not much gratified at thinking over the most triumphant +divisions; and the success or the pleasure of yesterday +becomes of very small account when a certain +(albeit uncertain) morrow is in view, about which all of +us must some day or other be speculating. O brother +wearers of motley! Are there not moments when one +grows sick of grinning and tumbling, and the jingling of +cap and bells? This, dear friends and companions, is my +amiable object--to walk with you through the Fair, to +examine the shops and the shows there; and that we +should all come home after the flare, and the noise, and +the gaiety, and be perfectly miserable in private. + +"If that poor man of mine had a head on his shoulders," +Mrs. Bute Crawley thought to herself, "how useful he +might be, under present circumstances, to this unhappy +old lady! He might make her repent of her shocking +free-thinking ways; he might urge her to do her duty, +and cast off that odious reprobate who has disgraced +himself and his family; and he might induce her to do +justice to my dear girls and the two boys, who require +and deserve, I am sure, every assistance which their +relatives can give them." + +And, as the hatred of vice is always a progress towards +virtue, Mrs. Bute Crawley endeavoured to instil +her sister-in-law a proper abhorrence for all Rawdon +Crawley's manifold sins: of which his uncle's wife brought +forward such a catalogue as indeed would have served +to condemn a whole regiment of young officers. If a man +has committed wrong in life, I don't know any moralist +more anxious to point his errors out to the world than +his own relations; so Mrs. Bute showed a perfect family +interest and knowledge of Rawdon's history. She had all +the particulars of that ugly quarrel with Captain Marker, +in which Rawdon, wrong from the beginning, ended in +shooting the Captain. She knew how the unhappy Lord +Dovedale, whose mamma had taken a house at Oxford, +so that he might be educated there, and who had never +touched a card in his life till he came to London, was +perverted by Rawdon at the Cocoa-Tree, made helplessly +tipsy by this abominable seducer and perverter of youth, +and fleeced of four thousand pounds. She described with +the most vivid minuteness the agonies of the country +families whom he had ruined--the sons whom he had +plunged into dishonour and poverty--the daughters +whom he had inveigled into perdition. She knew the poor +tradesmen who were bankrupt by his extravagance--the +mean shifts and rogueries with which he had ministered +to it--the astounding falsehoods by which he had imposed +upon the most generous of aunts, and the ingratitude and +ridicule by which he had repaid her sacrifices. She +imparted these stories gradually to Miss Crawley; gave her +the whole benefit of them; felt it to be her bounden duty +as a Christian woman and mother of a family to do so; +had not the smallest remorse or compunction for the +victim whom her tongue was immolating; nay, very likely +thought her act was quite meritorious, and plumed +herself upon her resolute manner of performing it. Yes, +if a man's character is to be abused, say what you will, +there's nobody like a relation to do the business. And one +is bound to own, regarding this unfortunate wretch of a +Rawdon Crawley, that the mere truth was enough to +condemn him, and that all inventions of scandal were quite +superfluous pains on his friends' parts. + +Rebecca, too, being now a relative, came in for the +fullest share of Mrs. Bute's kind inquiries. This indefatigable +pursuer of truth (having given strict orders that the +door was to be denied to all emissaries or letters +from Rawdon), took Miss Crawley's carriage, and drove +to her old friend Miss Pinkerton, at Minerva House, +Chiswick Mall, to whom she announced the dreadful +intelligence of Captain Rawdon's seduction by Miss Sharp, +and from whom she got sundry strange particulars +regarding the ex-governess's birth and early history. The +friend of the Lexicographer had plenty of information +to give. Miss Jemima was made to fetch the drawing- +master's receipts and letters. This one was from a +spunging-house: that entreated an advance: another was +full of gratitude for Rebecca's reception by the ladies of +Chiswick: and the last document from the unlucky artist's +pen was that in which, from his dying bed, he recommended +his orphan child to Miss Pinkerton's protection. There +were juvenile letters and petitions from Rebecca, too, in +the collection, imploring aid for her father or declaring +her own gratitude. Perhaps in Vanity Fair there are no +better satires than letters. Take a bundle of your dear +friend's of ten years back--your dear friend whom you +hate now. Look at a file of your sister's! how you clung +to each other till you quarrelled about the twenty-pound +legacy! Get down the round-hand scrawls of your son +who has half broken your heart with selfish undutifulness +since; or a parcel of your own, breathing endless +ardour and love eternal, which were sent back by your +mistress when she married the Nabob--your mistress for +whom you now care no more than for Queen Elizabeth. +Vows, love, promises, confidences, gratitude, how queerly +they read after a while! There ought to be a law in +Vanity Fair ordering the destruction of every written +document (except receipted tradesmen's bills) after a +certain brief and proper interval. Those quacks and +misanthropes who advertise indelible Japan ink should be +made to perish along with their wicked discoveries. The +best ink for Vanity Fair use would be one that faded +utterly in a couple of days, and left the paper clean and +blank, so that you might write on it to somebody else. + +From Miss Pinkerton's the indefatigable Mrs. Bute +followed the track of Sharp and his daughter back to the +lodgings in Greek Street, which the defunct painter had +occupied; and where portraits of the landlady in white +satin, and of the husband in brass buttons, done by Sharp +in lieu of a quarter's rent, still decorated the parlour +walls. Mrs. Stokes was a communicative person, and +quickly told all she knew about Mr. Sharp; how dissolute +and poor he was; how good-natured and amusing; how he +was always hunted by bailiffs and duns; how, to the landlady's horror, though she never could abide the woman, +he did not marry his wife till a short time before her +death; and what a queer little wild vixen his daughter +was; how she kept them all laughing with her fun and +mimicry; how she used to fetch the gin from the public-house, +and was known in all the studios in the quarter--in brief, +Mrs. Bute got such a full account of her new niece's +parentage, education, and behaviour as would +scarcely have pleased Rebecca, had the latter known that +such inquiries were being made concerning her. + +Of all these industrious researches Miss Crawley had +the full benefit. Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was the daughter +of an opera-girl. She had danced herself. She had been a +model to the painters. She was brought up as became +her mother's daughter. She drank gin with her father, +&c. &c. It was a lost woman who was married to a lost +man; and the moral to be inferred from Mrs. Bute's +tale was, that the knavery of the pair was irremediable, +and that no properly conducted person should ever notice +them again. + +These were the materials which prudent Mrs. Bute +gathered together in Park Lane, the provisions and +ammunition as it were with which she fortified the house +against the siege which she knew that Rawdon and his +wife would lay to Miss Crawley. + +But if a fault may be found with her arrangements, it +is this, that she was too eager: she managed rather too +well; undoubtedly she made Miss Crawley more ill than +was necessary; and though the old invalid succumbed +to her authority, it was so harassing and severe, that the +victim would be inclined to escape at the very first chance +which fell in her way. Managing women, the ornaments +of their sex--women who order everything for everybody, +and know so much better than any person concerned +what is good for their neighbours, don't sometimes +speculate upon the possibility of a domestic revolt, or +upon other extreme consequences resulting from their +overstrained authority. + +Thus, for instance, Mrs. Bute, with the best intentions +no doubt in the world, and wearing herself to death as +she did by foregoing sleep, dinner, fresh air, for the sake +of her invalid sister-in-law, carried her conviction of the +old lady's illness so far that she almost managed her +into her coffin. She pointed out her sacrifices and their +results one day to the constant apothecary, Mr. Clump. + +"I am sure, my dear Mr. Clump," she said, "no efforts +of mine have been wanting to restore our dear invalid, +whom the ingratitude of her nephew has laid on the bed +of sickness. I never shrink from personal discomfort: I +never refuse to sacrifice myself." + +"Your devotion, it must be confessed, is admirable," +Mr. Clump says, with a low bow; "but--" + +"I have scarcely closed my eyes since my arrival: I +give up sleep, health, every comfort, to my sense of duty. +When my poor James was in the smallpox, did I allow any +hireling to nurse him? No." + +"You did what became an excellent mother, my dear +Madam--the best of mothers; but--~' + +"As the mother of a family and the wife of an English +clergyman, I humbly trust that my principles are good," +Mrs. Bute said, with a happy solemnity of conviction; +"and, as long as Nature supports me, never, never, Mr. +Clump, will I desert the post of duty. Others may bring +that grey head with sorrow to the bed of sickness (here +Mrs. Bute, waving her hand, pointed to one of old Miss +Crawley's coffee-coloured fronts, which was perched on +a stand in the dressing-room), but I will never quit it. +Ah, Mr. Clump! I fear, I know, that the couch needs +spiritual as well as medical consolation." + +"What I was going to observe, my dear Madam,"-- +here the resolute Clump once more interposed with a +bland air--"what I was going to observe when you gave +utterance to sentiments which do you so much honour, +was that I think you alarm yourself needlessly about our +kind friend, and sacrifice your own health too prodigally +in her favour." + +"I would lay down my life for my duty, or for any +member of my husband's family," Mrs. Bute interposed. + +"Yes, Madam, if need were; but we don't want Mrs +Bute Crawley to be a martyr," Clump said gallantly. "Dr +Squills and myself have both considered Miss Crawley's +case with every anxiety and care, as you may suppose. We +see her low-spirited and nervous; family events have +agitated her." + +"Her nephew will come to perdition," Mrs. Crawley +cried. + +"Have agitated her: and you arrived like a guardian +angel, my dear Madam, a positive guardian angel, I +assure you, to soothe her under the pressure of calamity. +But Dr. Squills and I were thinking that our amiable +friend is not in such a state as renders confinement to her +bed necessary. She is depressed, but this confinement +perhaps adds to her depression. She should have change, +fresh air, gaiety; the most delightful remedies in the +pharmacopoeia," Mr. Clump said, grinning and showing +his handsome teeth. "Persuade her to rise, dear Madam; +drag her from her couch and her low spirits; insist upon +her taking little drives. They will restore the roses too to +your cheeks, if I may so speak to Mrs. Bute Crawley." + +"The sight of her horrid nephew casually in the Park, +where I am told the wretch drives with the brazen partner +of his crimes," Mrs. Bute said (letting the cat of selfishness +out of the bag of secrecy), "would cause her such +a shock, that we should have to bring her back to bed +again. She must not go out, Mr. Clump. She shall not go +out as long as I remain to watch over her; And as for my +health, what matters it? I give it cheerfully, sir. I sacrifice +it at the altar of my duty." + +"Upon my word, Madam," Mr. Clump now said bluntly, +"I won't answer for her life if she remains locked up +in that dark room. She is so nervous that we may lose +her any day; and if you wish Captain Crawley to be her +heir, I warn you frankly, Madam, that you are doing +your very best to serve him." + +"Gracious mercy! is her life in danger?" Mrs. Bute +cried. "Why, why, Mr. Clump, did you not inform me +sooner?" + +The night before, Mr. Clump and Dr. Squills had had a +consultation (over a bottle of wine at the house of Sir +Lapin Warren, whose lady was about to present him +with a thirteenth blessing), regarding Miss Crawley and +her case. + +"What a little harpy that woman from Hampshire is, +Clump," Squills remarked, "that has seized upon old +Tilly Crawley. Devilish good Madeira." + +"What a fool Rawdon Crawley has been," Clump replied, +"to go and marry a governess! There was something +about the girl, too." + +"Green eyes, fair skin, pretty figure, famous frontal +development," Squills remarked. "There is something +about her; and Crawley was a fool, Squills." + +"A d-- fool--always was," the apothecary replied. + +"Of course the old girl will fling him over," said the +physician, and after a pause added, "She'll cut up well, I +suppose." + +"Cut up," says Clump with a grin; "I wouldn't have her +cut up for two hundred a year." + +"That Hampshire woman will kill her in two months, +Clump, my boy, if she stops about her," Dr. Squills said. +"Old woman; full feeder; nervous subject; palpitation of +the heart; pressure on the brain; apoplexy; off she goes. +Get her up, Clump; get her out: or I wouldn't give many +weeks' purchase for your two hundred a year." And it was +acting upon this hint that the worthy apothecary spoke +with so much candour to Mrs. Bute Crawley. + +Having the old lady under her hand: in bed: with nobody +near, Mrs. Bute had made more than one assault +upon her, to induce her to alter her will. But Miss Crawley's +usual terrors regarding death increased greatly when +such dismal propositions were made to her, and Mrs. +Bute saw that she must get her patient into cheerful spirits +and health before she could hope to attain the pious object +which she had in view. Whither to take her was the +next puzzle. The only place where she is not likely to +meet those odious Rawdons is at church, and that won't +amuse her, Mrs. Bute justly felt. "We must go and visit +our beautiful suburbs of London," she then thought. "I +hear they are the most picturesque in the world"; and so +she had a sudden interest for Hampstead, and Hornsey, +and found that Dulwich had great charms for her, and +getting her victim into her carriage, drove her to those +rustic spots, beguiling the little journeys with conversations +about Rawdon and his wife, and telling every story +to the old lady which could add to her indignation against +this pair of reprobates. + +Perhaps Mrs. Bute pulled the string unnecessarily tight. +For though she worked up Miss Crawley to a proper dislike +of her disobedient nephew, the invalid had a great +hatred and secret terror of her victimizer, and panted +to escape from her. After a brief space, she rebelled +against Highgate and Hornsey utterly. She would go into +the Park. Mrs. Bute knew they would meet the abominable +Rawdon there, and she was right. One day in the +ring, Rawdon's stanhope came in sight; Rebecca was +seated by him. In the enemy's equipage Miss Crawley +occupied her usual place, with Mrs. Bute on her left, the +poodle and Miss Briggs on the back seat. It was a nervous +moment, and Rebecca's heart beat quick as she recognized the carriage; and as the two vehicles crossed each +other in a line, she clasped her hands, and looked towards +the spinster with a face of agonized attachment and devotion. Rawdon himself trembled, and his face grew purple +behind his dyed mustachios. Only old Briggs was moved +in the other carriage, and cast her great eyes nervously +towards her old friends. Miss Crawley's bonnet was resolutely +turned towards the Serpentine. Mrs. Bute happened to +be in ecstasies with the poodle, and was calling him a little +darling, and a sweet little zoggy, and a pretty pet. The +carriages moved on, each in his line. + +"Done, by Jove," Rawdon said to his wife. + +"Try once more, Rawdon," Rebecca answered. "Could +not you lock your wheels into theirs, dearest?" + +Rawdon had not the heart for that manoeuvre. When +the carriages met again, he stood up in his stanhope; he +raised his hand ready to doff his hat; he looked with all +his eyes. But this time Miss Crawley's face was not turned +away; she and Mrs. Bute looked him full in the face, +and cut their nephew pitilessly. He sank back in his seat +with an oath, and striking out of the ring, dashed away +desperately homewards. + +It was a gallant and decided triumph for Mrs. Bute. +But she felt the danger of many such meetings, as she +saw the evident nervousness of Miss Crawley; and she +determined that it was most necessary for her dear +friend's health, that they should leave town for a while, +and recommended Brighton very strongly. + + + + +CHAPTER XX + + +In Which Captain Dobbin Acts as the Messenger of Hymen + +Without knowing how, Captain William Dobbin found +himself the great promoter, arranger, and manager of the +match between George Osborne and Amelia. But for him +it never would have taken place: he could not but +confess as much to himself, and smiled rather bitterly as he +thought that he of all men in the world should be the +person upon whom the care of this marriage had fallen. +But though indeed the conducting of this negotiation was +about as painful a task as could be set to him, yet when +he had a duty to perform, Captain Dobbin was accustomed +to go through it without many words or much +hesitation: and, having made up his mind completely, +that if Miss Sedley was balked of her husband she would +die of the disappointment, he was determined to use all +his best endeavours to keep her alive. + +I forbear to enter into minute particulars of the interview +between George and Amelia, when the former was +brought back to the feet (or should we venture to say the +arms?) of his young mistress by the intervention of his +friend honest William. A much harder heart than +George's would have melted at the sight of that sweet +face so sadly ravaged by grief and despair, and at the +simple tender accents in which she told her little broken- +hearted story: but as she did not faint when her mother, +trembling, brought Osborne to her; and as she only gave +relief to her overcharged grief, by laying her head on +her lover's shoulder and there weeping for a while the +most tender, copious, and refreshing tears--old Mrs. +Sedley, too greatly relieved, thought it was best to leave +the young persons to themselves; and so quitted Emmy +crying over George's hand, and kissing it humbly, as if he +were her supreme chief and master, and as if she were +quite a guilty and unworthy person needing every favour +and grace from him. + +This prostration and sweet unrepining obedience +exquisitely touched and flattered George Osborne. He saw a +slave before him in that simple yielding faithful creature, +and his soul within him thrilled secretly somehow +at the knowledge of his power. He would be generous- +minded, Sultan as he was, and raise up this kneeling +Esther and make a queen of her: besides, her sadness +and beauty touched him as much as her submission, and +so he cheered her, and raised her up and forgave her, so +to speak. All her hopes and feelings, which were dying +and withering, this her sun having been removed from +her, bloomed again and at once, its light being restored. +You would scarcely have recognised the beaming little +face upon Amelia's pillow that night as the one that was +laid there the night before, so wan, so lifeless, so +careless of all round about. The honest Irish maid-servant, +delighted with the change, asked leave to kiss the face +that had grown all of a sudden so rosy. Amelia put her +arms round the girl's neck and kissed her with all her +heart, like a child. She was little more. She had that night +a sweet refreshing sleep, like one--and what a spring of +inexpressible happiness as she woke in the morning sunshine! + +"He will be here again to-day," Amelia thought. "He is +the greatest and best of men." And the fact is, that +George thought he was one of the generousest creatures +alive: and that he was making a tremendous sacrifice in +marrying this young creature. + +While she and Osborne were having their delightful +tete-a-tete above stairs, old Mrs. Sedley and Captain +Dobbin were conversing below upon the state of the +affairs, and the chances and future arrangements of the +young people. Mrs. Sedley having brought the two lovers +together and left them embracing each other with all their +might, like a true woman, was of opinion that no power +on earth would induce Mr. Sedley to consent to the match +between his daughter and the son of a man who had so +shamefully, wickedly, and monstrously treated him. And +she told a long story about happier days and their earlier +splendours, when Osborne lived in a very humble way in +the New Road, and his wife was too glad to receive some +of Jos's little baby things, with which Mrs. Sedley +accommodated her at the birth of one of Osborne's own +children. The fiendish ingratitude of that man, she was +sure, had broken Mr. S.'s heart: and as for a marriage, +he would never, never, never, never consent. + +"They must run away together, Ma'am," Dobbin said, +laughing, "and follow the example of Captain Rawdon +Crawley, and Miss Emmy's friend the little governess." +Was it possible? Well she never! Mrs. Sedley was all +excitement about this news. She wished that Blenkinsop were +here to hear it: Blenkinsop always mistrusted that Miss +Sharp.--What an escape Jos had had! and she described +the already well-known love-passages between Rebecca and +the Collector of Boggley Wollah. + +It was not, however, Mr. Sedley's wrath which Dobbin +feared, so much as that of the other parent concerned, +and he owned that he had a very considerable doubt +and anxiety respecting the behaviour of the black-browed +old tyrant of a Russia merchant in Russell Square. He +has forbidden the match peremptorily, Dobbin thought. +He knew what a savage determined man Osborne was, and +how he stuck by his word. The only chance George has +of reconcilement," argued his friend, "is by distinguishing +himself in the coming campaign. If he dies they both go +together. If he fails in distinction--what then? He has +some money from his mother, I have heard enough to +purchase his majority--or he must sell out and go and +dig in Canada, or rough it in a cottage in the country." +With such a partner Dobbin thought he would not mind +Siberia--and, strange to say, this absurd and utterly +imprudent young fellow never for a moment considered that +the want of means to keep a nice carriage and horses, +and of an income which should enable its possessors to +entertain their friends genteelly, ought to operate as bars +to the union of George and Miss Sedley. + +It was these weighty considerations which made him +think too that the marriage should take place as quickly +as possible. Was he anxious himself, I wonder, to have it +over.?--as people, when death has occurred, like to press +forward the funeral, or when a parting is resolved upon, +hasten it. It is certain that Mr. Dobbin, having taken the +matter in hand, was most extraordinarily eager in the +conduct of it. He urged on George the necessity of immediate +action: he showed the chances of reconciliation with +his father, which a favourable mention of his name in the +Gazette must bring about. If need were he would go himself +and brave both the fathers in the business. At all +events, he besought George to go through with it before +the orders came, which everybody expected, for the +departure of the regiment from England on foreign service. + +Bent upon these hymeneal projects, and with the applause +and consent of Mrs. Sedley, who did not care to +break the matter personally to her husband, Mr. Dobbin +went to seek John Sedley at his house of call in the City, +the Tapioca Coffee-house, where, since his own offices +were shut up, and fate had overtaken him, the poor +broken-down old gentleman used to betake himself daily, +and write letters and receive them, and tie them up into +mysterious bundles, several of which he carried in the +flaps of his coat. I don't know anything more dismal than +that business and bustle and mystery of a ruined man: those +letters from the wealthy which he shows you: those worn +greasy documents promising support and offering +condolence which he places wistfully before you, and on +which he builds his hopes of restoration and future fortune. +My beloved reader has no doubt in the course of +his experience been waylaid by many such a luckless +companion. He takes you into the corner; he has his bundle +of papers out of his gaping coat pocket; and the tape off, +and the string in his mouth, and the favourite letters +selected and laid before you; and who does not know the +sad eager half-crazy look which he fixes on you with his +hopeless eyes? + +Changed into a man of this sort, Dobbin found the +once florid, jovial, and prosperous John Sedley. His +coat, that used to be so glossy and trim, was white at the +seams, and the buttons showed the copper. His face had +fallen in, and was unshorn; his frill and neckcloth hung +limp under his bagging waistcoat. When he used to treat +the boys in old days at a coffee-house, he would shout +and laugh louder than anybody there, and have all the +waiters skipping round him; it was quite painful to see +how humble and civil he was to John of the Tapioca, a +blear-eyed old attendant in dingy stockings and cracked +pumps, whose business it was to serve glasses of wafers, +and bumpers of ink in pewter, and slices of paper to the +frequenters of this dreary house of entertainment, where +nothing else seemed to be consumed. As for William +Dobbin, whom he had tipped repeatedly in his youth, and +who had been the old gentleman's butt on a thousand +occasions, old Sedley gave his hand to him in a very +hesitating humble manner now, and called him "Sir." A +feeling of shame and remorse took possession of William +Dobbin as the broken old man so received and addressed +him, as if he himself had been somehow guilty of the +misfortunes which had brought Sedley so low. + +"I am very glad to see you, Captain Dobbin, sir," says +he, after a skulking look or two at his visitor (whose lanky +figure and military appearance caused some excitement +likewise to twinkle in the blear eyes of the waiter in the +cracked dancing pumps, and awakened the old lady in +black, who dozed among the mouldy old coffee-cups in the +bar). "How is the worthy alderman, and my lady, your +excellent mother, sir?" He looked round at the waiter as +he said, "My lady," as much as to say, "Hark ye, John, I +have friends still, and persons of rank and reputation, +too." "Are you come to do anything in my way, sir? My +young friends Dale and Spiggot do all my business for me +now, until my new offices are ready; for I'm only here +temporarily, you know, Captain. What can we do for you. +sir? Will you like to take anything?" + +Dobbin, with a great deal of hesitation and stuttering, +protested that he was not in the least hungry or thirsty; +that he had no business to transact; that he only came +to ask if Mr. Sedley was well, and to shake hands with +an old friend; and, he added, with a desperate perversion +of truth, "My mother is very well--that is, she's been very +unwell, and is only waiting for the first fine day to go out +and call upon Mrs. Sedley. How is Mrs. Sedley, sir? I +hope she's quite well." And here he paused, reflecting on +his own consummate hypocrisy; for the day was as fine, +and the sunshine as bright as it ever is in Coffin Court, +where the Tapioca Coffee-house is situated: and Mr. +Dobbin remembered that he had seen Mrs. Sedley himself +only an hour before, having driven Osborne down to Fulham +in his gig, and left him there tete-a-tete with Miss Amelia. + +"My wife will be very happy to see her ladyship," +Sedley replied, pulling out his papers. "I've a very kind +letter here from your father, sir, and beg my respectful +compliments to him. Lady D. will find us in rather a +smaller house than we were accustomed to receive our +friends in; but it's snug, and the change of air does good +to my daughter, who was suffering in town rather--you +remember little Emmy, sir?--yes, suffering a good deal." +The old gentleman's eyes were wandering as he spoke, and +he was thinking of something else, as he sate thrumming +on his papers and fumbling at the worn red tape. + +"You're a military man," he went on; "I ask you, Bill +Dobbin, could any man ever have speculated upon the +return of that Corsican scoundrel from Elba? When the +allied sovereigns were here last year, and we gave 'em +that dinner in the City, sir, and we saw the Temple of +Concord, and the fireworks, and the Chinese bridge in +St. James's Park, could any sensible man suppose that +peace wasn't really concluded, after we'd actually sung Te +Deum for it, sir? I ask you, William, could I suppose that +the Emperor of Austria was a damned traitor--a traitor, +and nothing more? I don't mince words--a double-faced +infernal traitor and schemer, who meant to have his son- +in-law back all along. And I say that the escape of Boney +from Elba was a damned imposition and plot, sir, in +which half the powers of Europe were concerned, to +bring the funds down, and to ruin this country. That's +why I'm here, William. That's why my name's in the +Gazette. Why, sir?--because I trusted the Emperor of +Russia and the Prince Regent. Look here. Look at my +papers. Look what the funds were on the 1st of March +--what the French fives were when I bought for the +count. And what they're at now. There was collusion, sir, +or that villain never would have escaped. Where was the +English Commissioner who allowed him to get away? He +ought to be shot, sir--brought to a court-martial, and +shot, by Jove." + +"We're going to hunt Boney out, sir," Dobbin said, +rather alarmed at the fury of the old man, the veins of +whose forehead began to swell, and who sate drumming +his papers with his clenched fist. "We are going to hunt +him out, sir--the Duke's in Belgium already, and we +expect marching orders every day." + +"Give him no quarter. Bring back the villain's head, sir. +Shoot the coward down, sir," Sedley roared. "I'd enlist +myself, by--; but I'm a broken old man--ruined by +that damned scoundrel--and by a parcel of swindling +thieves in this country whom I made, sir, and who are +rolling in their carriages now," he added, with a break in +his voice. + +Dobbin was not a little affected by the sight of this once +kind old friend, crazed almost with misfortune and raving +with senile anger. Pity the fallen gentleman: you to whom +money and fair repute are the chiefest good; and so, +surely, are they in Vanity Fair. + +"Yes," he continued, "there are some vipers that you +warm, and they sting you afterwards. There are some +beggars that you put on horseback, and they're the first +to ride you down. You know whom I mean, William +Dobbin, my boy. I mean a purse-proud villain in Russell +Square, whom I knew without a shilling, and whom I +pray and hope to see a beggar as he was when I +befriended him." + +"I have heard something of this, sir, from my friend +George," Dobbin said, anxious to come to his point. "The +quarrel between you and his father has cut him up a great +deal, sir. Indeed, I'm the bearer of a message from him." + +"O, THAT'S your errand, is it?" cried the old man, +jumping up. "What! perhaps he condoles with me, does he? +Very kind of him, the stiff-backed prig, with his dandified +airs and West End swagger. He's hankering about my +house, is he still? If my son had the courage of a man, +he'd shoot him. He's as big a villain as his father. I won't +have his name mentioned in my house. I curse the day +that ever I let him into it; and I'd rather see my daughter +dead at my feet than married to him." + +"His father's harshness is not George's fault, sir. Your +daughter's love for him is as much your doing as his. Who +are you, that you are to play with two young people's +affections and break their hearts at your will?" + +"Recollect it's not his father that breaks the match off," +old Sedley cried out. "It's I that forbid it. That family and +mine are separated for ever. I'm fallen low, but not so +low as that: no, no. And so you may tell the whole race-- +son, and father and sisters, and all." + +"It's my belief, sir, that you have not the power or the +right to separate those two," Dobbin answered in a low +voice; "and that if you don't give your daughter your +consent it will be her duty to marry without it. There's no +reason she should die or live miserably because you +are wrong-headed. To my thinking, she's just as much +married as if the banns had been read in all the churches in +London. And what better answer can there be to Osborne's +charges against you, as charges there are, than +that his son claims to enter your family and marry your +daughter?" + +A light of something like satisfaction seemed to break +over old Sedley as this point was put to him: but he still +persisted that with his consent the marriage between +Amelia and George should never take place. + +"We must do it without," Dobbin said, smiling, and told +Mr. Sedley, as he had told Mrs. Sedley in the day, before, +the story of Rebecca's elopement with Captain Crawley. It +evidently amused the old gentleman. "You're terrible +fellows, you Captains," said he, tying up his papers; and his +face wore something like a smile upon it, to the astonishment +of the blear-eyed waiter who now entered, and had +never seen such an expression upon Sedley's countenance +since he had used the dismal coffee-house. + +The idea of hitting his enemy Osborne such a blow +soothed, perhaps, the old gentleman: and, their colloquy +presently ending, he and Dobbin parted pretty good friends. + +"My sisters say she has diamonds as big as pigeons' +eggs," George said, laughing. "How they must set off her +complexion! A perfect illumination it must be when her +jewels are on her neck. Her jet-black hair is as curly as +Sambo's. I dare say she wore a nose ring when she went +to court; and with a plume of feathers in her top-knot +she would look a perfect Belle Sauvage." + +George, in conversation with Amelia, was rallying the +appearance of a young lady of whom his father and sisters +had lately made the acquaintance, and who was an object +of vast respect to the Russell Square family. She was reported +to have I don't know how many plantations in the +West Indies; a deal of money in the funds; and three +stars to her name in the East India stockholders' list. She +had a mansion in Surrey, and a house in Portland Place. +The name of the rich West India heiress had been mentioned +with applause in the Morning Post. Mrs. Haggistoun, +Colonel Haggistoun's widow, her relative, "chaperoned" +her, and kept her house. She was just from school, where +she had completed her education, and George and his +sisters had met her at an evening party at old Hulker's +house, Devonshire Place (Hulker, Bullock, and Co. were +long the correspondents of her house in the West Indies), +and the girls had made the most cordial advances to her, +which the heiress had received with great good humour. +An orphan in her position--with her money--so interesting! +the Misses Osborne said. They were full of their new +friend when they returned from the Hulker ball to Miss +Wirt, their companion; they had made arrangements for +continually meeting, and had the carriage and drove to see +her the very next day. Mrs. Haggistoun, Colonel Haggistoun's +widow, a relation of Lord Binkie, and always talking +of him, struck the dear unsophisticated girls as rather +haughty, and too much inclined to talk about her great +relations: but Rhoda was everything they could wish-- +the frankest, kindest, most agreeable creature--wanting a +little polish, but so good-natured. The girls Christian- +named each other at once. + +"You should have seen her dress for court, Emmy," +Osborne cried, laughing. "She came to my sisters to show +it off, before she was presented in state by my Lady +Binkie, the Haggistoun's kinswoman. She's related to every +one, that Haggistoun. Her diamonds blazed out like +Vauxhall on the night we were there. (Do you remember +Vauxhall, Emmy, and Jos singing to his dearest diddle +diddle darling?) Diamonds and mahogany, my dear! +think what an advantageous contrast--and the white +feathers in her hair--I mean in her wool. She had +earrings like chandeliers; you might have lighted 'em +up, by Jove--and a yellow satin train that streeled after +her like the tail of a cornet." + +"How old is she?" asked Emmy, to whom George was +rattling away regarding this dark paragon, on the morning +of their reunion--rattling away as no other man in the +world surely could. + +"Why the Black Princess, though she has only just left +school, must be two or three and twenty. And you should +see the hand she writes! Mrs. Colonel Haggistoun usually +writes her letters, but in a moment of confidence, she put +pen to paper for my sisters; she spelt satin satting, and +Saint James's, Saint Jams." + +"Why, surely it must be Miss Swartz, the parlour +boarder," Emmy said, remembering that good-natured +young mulatto girl, who had been so hysterically affected +when Amelia left Miss Pinkerton's academy + +"The very name," George said. "Her father was a German +Jew--a slave-owner they say--connected with the +Cannibal Islands in some way or other. He died last year, +and Miss Pinkerton has finished her education. She can +play two pieces on the piano; she knows three songs; +she can write when Mrs. Haggistoun is by to spell for her; +and Jane and Maria already have got to love her as a +sister." + +"I wish they would have loved me," said Emmy, wistfully. +"They were always very cold to me." + +"My dear child, they would have loved you if you had +had two hundred thousand pounds," George replied. "That +is the way in which they have been brought up. Ours is +a ready-money society. We live among bankers and City +big-wigs, and be hanged to them, and every man, as he +talks to you, is jingling his guineas in his pocket. There is +that jackass Fred Bullock is going to marry Maria-- +there's Goldmore, the East India Director, there's Dipley, +in the tallow trade--OUR trade," George said, with an +uneasy laugh and a blush. "Curse the whole pack of money- +grubbing vulgarians! I fall asleep at their great heavy +dinners. I feel ashamed in my father's great stupid +parties. I've been accustomed to live with gentlemen, and +men of the world and fashion, Emmy, not with a parcel +of turtle-fed tradesmen. Dear little woman, you are the only +person of our set who ever looked, or thought, or spoke +like a lady: and you do it because you're an angel and +can't help it. Don't remonstrate. You are the only lady. +Didn't Miss Crawley remark it, who has lived in the +best company in Europe? And as for Crawley, of the Life +Guards, hang it, he's a fine fellow: and I like him for +marrying the girl he had chosen." + +Amelia admired Mr. Crawley very much, too, for this; +and trusted Rebecca would be happy with him, and hoped +(with a laugh) Jos would be consoled. And so the pair +went on prattling, as in quite early days. Amelia's +confidence being perfectly restored to her, though she +expressed a great deal of pretty jealousy about Miss Swartz, +and professed to be dreadfully frightened--like a hypocrite +as she was--lest George should forget her for the +heiress and her money and her estates in Saint Kitt's. But +the fact is, she was a great deal too happy to have fears +or doubts or misgivings of any sort: and having George +at her side again, was not afraid of any heiress or beauty, +or indeed of any sort of danger. + +When Captain Dobbin came back in the afternoon to +these people--which he did with a great deal of sympathy +for them--it did his heart good to see how Amelia had +grown young again--how she laughed, and chirped, and +sang familiar old songs at the piano, which were only +interrupted by the bell from without proclaiming Mr. +Sedley's return from the City, before whom George received a +signal to retreat. + +Beyond the first smile of recognition--and even that was +an hypocrisy, for she thought his arrival rather provoking +--Miss Sedley did not once notice Dobbin during his +visit. But he was content, so that he saw her happy; and +thankful to have been the means of making her so. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + + +A Quarrel About an Heiress + +Love may be felt for any young lady endowed with such +qualities as Miss Swartz possessed; and a great dream of +ambition entered into old Mr. Osborne's soul, which she +was to realize. He encouraged, with the utmost enthusiasm +and friendliness, his daughters' amiable attachment to the +young heiress, and protested that it gave him the sincerest +pleasure as a father to see the love of his girls so well disposed. + +"You won't find," he would say to Miss Rhoda, "that +splendour and rank to which you are accustomed at the +West End, my dear Miss, at our humble mansion in Russell +Square. My daughters are plain, disinterested girls, but +their hearts are in the right place, and they've conceived +an attachment for you which does them honour--I say, +which does them honour. I'm a plain, simple, humble +British merchant--an honest one, as my respected friends +Hulker and Bullock will vouch, who were the correspondents +of your late lamented father. You'll find us a +united, simple, happy, and I think I may say respected, +family--a plain table, a plain people, but a warm welcome, +my dear Miss Rhoda--Rhoda, let me say, for my +heart warms to you, it does really. I'm a frank man, and +I like you. A glass of Champagne! Hicks, Champagne to +Miss Swartz." + +There is little doubt that old Osborne believed all he +said, and that the girls were quite earnest in their +protestations of affection for Miss Swartz. People in Vanity +Fair fasten on to rich folks quite naturally. If the simplest +people are disposed to look not a little kindly on +great Prosperity (for I defy any member of the British +public to say that the notion of Wealth has not something +awful and pleasing to him; and you, if you are told that +the man next you at dinner has got half a million, not to +look at him with a certain interest)--if the simple look +benevolently on money, how much more do your old +worldlings regard it! Their affections rush out to meet and +welcome money. Their kind sentiments awaken spontaneously towards the interesting possessors of it. I know +some respectable people who don't consider themselves +at liberty to indulge in friendship for any individual who +has not a certain competency, or place in society. They +give a loose to their feelings on proper occasions. And +the proof is, that the major part of the Osborne family, +who had not, in fifteen years, been able to get up a +hearty regard for Amelia Sedley, became as fond of Miss +Swartz in the course of a single evening as the most +romantic advocate of friendship at first sight could desire. + +What a match for George she'd be (the sisters and +Miss Wirt agreed), and how much better than that +insignificant little Amelia! Such a dashing young fellow as +he is, with his good looks, rank, and accomplishments, +would be the very husband for her. Visions of balls in +Portland Place, presentations at Court, and introductions +to half the peerage, filled the minds of the young ladies; +who talked of nothing but George and his grand +acquaintances to their beloved new friend. + +Old Osborne thought she would be a great match, too, +for his son. He should leave the army; he should go into +Parliament; he should cut a figure in the fashion and in +the state. His blood boiled with honest British exultation, +as he saw the name of Osborne ennobled in the person +of his son, and thought that he might be the progenitor of +a glorious line of baronets. He worked in the City and on +'Change, until he knew everything relating to the fortune +of the heiress, how her money was placed, and where her +estates lay. Young Fred Bullock, one of his chief informants, +would have liked to make a bid for her himself +(it was so the young banker expressed it), only he was +booked to Maria Osborne. But not being able to secure +her as a wife, the disinterested Fred quite approved of her +as a sister-in-law. "Let George cut in directly and win +her," was his advice. "Strike while the iron's hot, you +know--while she's fresh to the town: in a few weeks +some d-- fellow from the West End will come in with a +title and a rotten rent-roll and cut all us City men out, as +Lord Fitzrufus did last year with Miss Grogram, who was +actually engaged to Podder, of Podder & Brown's. The +sooner it is done the better, Mr. Osborne; them's my +sentiments," the wag said; though, when Osborne had left +the bank parlour, Mr. Bullock remembered Amelia, and +what a pretty girl she was, and how attached to George +Osborne; and he gave up at least ten seconds of his +valuable time to regretting the misfortune which had +befallen that unlucky young woman. + +While thus George Osborne's good feelings, and his +good friend and genius, Dobbin, were carrying back the +truant to Amelia's feet, George's parent and sisters were +arranging this splendid match for him, which they never +dreamed he would resist. + +When the elder Osborne gave what he called "a hint," +there was no possibility for the most obtuse to mistake +his meaning. He called kicking a footman downstairs a +hint to the latter to leave his service. With his usual +frankness and delicacy he told Mrs. Haggistoun that he +would give her a cheque for five thousand pounds on the +day his son was married to her ward; and called that +proposal a hint, and considered it a very dexterous piece +of diplomacy. He gave George finally such another hint +regarding the heiress; and ordered him to marry her out +of hand, as he would have ordered his butler to draw a +cork, or his clerk to write a letter. + +This imperative hint disturbed George a good deal. He +was in the very first enthusiasm and delight of his second +courtship of Amelia, which was inexpressibly sweet +to him. The contrast of her manners and appearance with +those of the heiress, made the idea of a union with the +latter appear doubly ludicrous and odious. Carriages and +opera-boxes, thought he; fancy being seen in them by the +side of such a mahogany charmer as that! Add to all +that the junior Osborne was quite as obstinate as the +senior: when he wanted a thing, quite as firm in his +resolution to get it; and quite as violent when angered, +as his father in his most stern moments. + +On the first day when his father formally gave him the +hint that he was to place his affections at Miss Swartz's +feet, George temporised with the old gentleman. "You +should have thought of the matter sooner, sir," he said. +"It can't be done now, when we're expecting every day +to go on foreign service. Wait till my return, if I do +return"; and then he represented, that the time when the +regiment was daily expecting to quit England, was +exceedingly ill-chosen: that the few days or weeks during +which they were still to remain at home, must be +devoted to business and not to love-making: time enough +for that when he came home with his majority; "for, I +promise you," said he, with a satisfied air, "that one +way or other you shall read the name of George Osborne +in the Gazette." + +The father's reply to this was founded upon the +information which he had got in the City: that the West +End chaps would infallibly catch hold of the heiress if +any delay took place: that if he didn't marry Miss S., he +might at least have an engagement in writing, to come +into effect when he returned to England; and that a man +who could get ten thousand a year by staying at home, +was a fool to risk his life abroad. + +"So that you would have me shown up as a coward, sir, +and our name dishonoured for the sake of Miss Swartz's +money," George interposed. + +This remark staggered the old gentleman; but as he +had to reply to it, and as his mind was nevertheless +made up, he said, "You will dine here to-morrow, sir, +and every day Miss Swartz comes, you will be here to +pay your respects to her. If you want for money, call +upon Mr. Chopper." Thus a new obstacle was in George's +way, to interfere with his plans regarding Amelia; and +about which he and Dobbin had more than one confidential consultation. His friend's opinion respecting the +line of conduct which he ought to pursue, we know +already. And as for Osborne, when he was once bent on a +thing, a fresh obstacle or two only rendered him the +more resolute. + +The dark object of the conspiracy into which the chiefs +of the Osborne family had entered, was quite ignorant of +all their plans regarding her (which, strange to say, her +friend and chaperon did not divulge), and, taking all the +young ladies' flattery for genuine sentiment, and being, +as we have before had occasion to show, of a very +warm and impetuous nature, responded to their affection +with quite a tropical ardour. And if the truth may be told, +I dare say that she too had some selfish attraction in the +Russell Square house; and in a word, thought George +Osborne a very nice young man. His whiskers had made +an impression upon her, on the very first night she +beheld them at the ball at Messrs. Hulkers; and, as we +know, she was not the first woman who had been +charmed by them. George had an air at once swaggering +and melancholy, languid and fierce. He looked like a +man who had passions, secrets, and private harrowing +griefs and adventures. His voice was rich and deep. He +would say it was a warm evening, or ask his partner to +take an ice, with a tone as sad and confidential as if he +were breaking her mother's death to her, or preluding a +declaration of love. He trampled over all the young bucks +of his father's circle, and was the hero among those +third-rate men. Some few sneered at him and hated him. +Some, like Dobbin, fanatically admired him. And his whiskers +had begun to do their work, and to curl themselves +round the affections of Miss Swartz. + +Whenever there was a chance of meeting him in Russell +Square, that simple and good-natured young woman +was quite in a flurry to see her dear Misses Osborne. She +went to great expenses in new gowns, and bracelets, and +bonnets, and in prodigious feathers. She adorned her +person with her utmost skill to please the Conqueror, +and exhibited all her simple accomplishments to win his +favour. The girls would ask her, with the greatest +gravity, for a little music, and she would sing her three +songs and play her two little pieces as often as ever +they asked, and with an always increasing pleasure to +herself. During these delectable entertainments, Miss +Wirt and the chaperon sate by, and conned over the +peerage, and talked about the nobility. + +The day after George had his hint from his father, and +a short time before the hour of dinner, he was lolling +upon a sofa in the drawing-room in a very becoming +and perfectly natural attitude of melancholy. He had +been, at his father's request, to Mr. Chopper in the City +(the old-gentleman, though he gave great sums to his +son, would never specify any fixed allowance for him, +and rewarded him only as he was in the humour). He +had then been to pass three hours with Amelia, his +dear little Amelia, at Fulham; and he came home to +find his sisters spread in starched muslin in the drawing- +room, the dowagers cackling in the background, and +honest Swartz in her favourite amber-coloured satin, with +turquoise bracelets, countless rings, flowers, feathers, and +all sorts of tags and gimcracks, about as elegantly +decorated as a she chimney-sweep on May-day. + +The girls, after vain attempts to engage him in conversation, +talked about fashions and the last drawing-room +until he was perfectly sick of their chatter. He +contrasted their behaviour with little Emmy's--their +shrill voices with her tender ringing tones; their attitudes +and their elbows and their starch, with her humble soft +movements and modest graces. Poor Swartz was seated +in a place where Emmy had been accustomed to sit. +Her bejewelled hands lay sprawling in her amber satin +lap. Her tags and ear-rings twinkled, and her big eyes +rolled about. She was doing nothing with perfect contentment, +and thinking herself charming. Anything so becoming +as the satin the sisters had never seen. + +"Dammy," George said to a confidential friend, "she +looked like a China doll, which has nothing to do all day +but to grin and wag its head. By Jove, Will, it was all I +I could do to prevent myself from throwing the sofa- +cushion at her." He restrained that exhibition of +sentiment, however. + +The sisters began to play the Battle of Prague. "Stop +that d-- thing," George howled out in a fury from the +sofa. "It makes me mad. You play us something, Miss +Swartz, do. Sing something, anything but the Battle of +Prague." + +"Shall I sing 'Blue Eyed Mary' or the air from the +Cabinet?" Miss Swartz asked. + +"That sweet thing from the Cabinet," the sisters said. + +"We've had that," replied the misanthrope on the sofa + +"I can sing 'Fluvy du Tajy,' " Swartz said, in a meek +voice, "if I had the words." It was the last of the worthy +young woman's collection. + +"O, 'Fleuve du Tage,' " Miss Maria cried; "we have the +song," and went off to fetch the book in which it was. + +Now it happened that this song, then in the height of +the fashion, had been given to the young ladies by a young +friend of theirs, whose name was on the title, and Miss +Swartz, having concluded the ditty with George's applause +(for he remembered that it was a favourite of Amelia's), +was hoping for an encore perhaps, and fiddling with the +leaves of the music, when her eye fell upon the title, and +she saw "Amelia Sedley" written in the comer. + +"Lor!" cried Miss Swartz, spinning swiftly round on +the music-stool, "is it my Amelia? Amelia that was at +Miss P.'s at Hammersmith? I know it is. It's her. and-- +Tell me about her--where is she?" + +"Don't mention her," Miss Maria Osborne said +hastily. "Her family has disgraced itself. Her father +cheated Papa, and as for her, she is never to be mentioned +HERE." This was Miss Maria's return for George's +rudeness about the Battle of Prague. + +"Are you a friend of Amelia's?" George said, bouncing +up. "God bless you for it, Miss Swartz. Don't believe +what,the girls say. SHE'S not to blame at any rate. +She's the best--" + +"You know you're not to speak about her, George," +cried Jane. "Papa forbids it." + +"Who's to prevent me?" George cried out. "I will speak +of her. I say she's the best, the kindest, the gentlest, the +sweetest girl in England; and that, bankrupt or no, my +sisters are not fit to hold candles to her. If you like her, +go and see her, Miss Swartz; she wants friends now; and +I say, God bless everybody who befriends her. Anybody +who speaks kindly of her is my friend; anybody who +speaks against her is my enemy. Thank you, Miss Swartz"; +and he went up and wrung her hand. + +"George! George!" one of the sisters cried imploringly. + +"I say," George said fiercely, "I thank everybody who +loves Amelia Sed--" He stopped. Old Osborne was in +the room with a face livid with rage, and eyes like hot +coals. + +Though George had stopped in his sentence, yet, his +blood being up, he was not to be cowed by all the +generations of Osborne; rallying instantly, he replied to +the bullying look of his father, with another so indicative +of resolution and defiance that the elder man quailed in +his turn, and looked away. He felt that the tussle was +coming. "Mrs. Haggistoun, let me take you down to dinner," +he said. "Give your arm to Miss Swartz, George," +and they marched. + +"Miss Swartz, I love Amelia, and we've been engaged +almost all our lives," Osborne said to his partner; and +during all the dinner, George rattled on with a volubility +which surprised himself, and made his father doubly +nervous for the fight which was to take place as soon as +the ladies were gone. + +The difference between the pair was, that while the +father was violent and a bully, the son had thrice the +nerve and courage of the parent, and could not merely +make an attack, but resist it; and finding that the moment +was now come when the contest between him and +his father was to be decided, he took his dinner with +perfect coolness and appetite before the engagement +began. Old Osborne, on the contrary, was nervous, and +drank much. He floundered in his conversation with the +ladies, his neighbours: George's coolness only rendering +him more angry. It made him half mad to see the calm +way in which George, flapping his napkin, and with a +swaggering bow, opened the door for the ladies to leave +the room; and filling himself a glass of wine, smacked it, +and looked his father full in the face, as if to say, +"Gentlemen of the Guard, fire first." The old man also took a +supply of ammunition, but his decanter clinked against +the glass as he tried to fill it. + +After giving a great heave, and with a purple choking +face, he then began. "How dare you, sir, mention that +person's name before Miss Swartz to-day, in my drawing- +room? I ask you, sir, how dare you do it?" + +"Stop, sir," says George, "don't say dare, sir. Dare +isn't a word to be used to a Captain in the British Army." + +"I shall say what I like to my son, sir. I can cut him off +with a shilling if I like. I can make him a beggar if I like. +I WILL say what I like," the elder said. + +"I'm a gentleman though I AM your son, sir," George +answered haughtily. "Any communications which you +have to make to me, or any orders which you may +please to give, I beg may be couched in that kind of +language which I am accustomed to hear." + +Whenever the lad assumed his haughty manner, it +always created either great awe or great irritation in the +parent. Old Osborne stood in secret terror of his son as a +better gentleman than himself; and perhaps my readers +may have remarked in their experience of this Vanity Fair +of ours, that there is no character which a low-minded +man so much mistrusts as that of a gentleman. + +"My father didn't give me the education you have had, +nor the advantages you have had, nor the money you +have had. If I had kept the company SOME FOLKS have +had through MY MEANS, perhaps my son wouldn't have +any reason to brag, sir, of his SUPERIORITY and WEST END +AIRS (these words were uttered in the elder Osborne's +most sarcastic tones). But it wasn't considered the part +of a gentleman, in MY time, for a man to insult his father. +If I'd done any such thing, mine would have kicked me +downstairs, sir." + +"I never insulted you, sir. I said I begged you to +remember your son was a gentleman as well as yourself. +I know very well that you give me plenty of money," +said George (fingering a bundle of notes which he had +got in the morning from Mr. Chopper). "You tell it me +often enough, sir. There's no fear of my forgetting it." + +"I wish you'd remember other things as well, sir," the +sire answered. "I wish you'd remember that in this house +--so long as you choose to HONOUR it with your COMPANY, +Captain--I'm the master, and that name, and that +that--that you--that I say--" + +"That what, sir?" George asked, with scarcely a sneer, +filling another glass of claret. + +"--!" burst out his father with a screaming oath-- +"that the name of those Sedleys never be mentioned +here, sir--not one of the whole damned lot of 'em, sir." + +"It wasn't I, sir, that introduced Miss Sedley's name. It +was my sisters who spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz; and +by Jove I'll defend her wherever I go. Nobody shall +speak lightly of that name in my presence. Our family +has done her quite enough injury already, I think, and +may leave off reviling her now she's down. I'll shoot any +man but you who says a word against her." + +"Go on, sir, go on," the old gentleman said, his eyes +starting out of his head. + +"Go on about what, sir? about the way in which we've +treated that angel of a girl? Who told me to love her? It +was your doing. I might have chosen elsewhere, and +looked higher, perhaps, than your society: but I obeyed +you. And now that her heart's mine you give me orders +to fling it away, and punish her, kill her perhaps--for +the faults of other people. It's a shame, by Heavens," +said George, working himself up into passion and +enthusiasm as he proceeded, "to play at fast and loose with +a young girl's affections--and with such an angel as that +--one so superior to the people amongst whom she lived, +that she might have excited envy, only she was so good +and gentle, that it's a wonder anybody dared to hate her. +If I desert her, sir, do you suppose she forgets me?" + +"I ain't going to have any of this dam sentimental nonsense +and humbug here, sir," the father cried out. "There +shall be no beggar-marriages in my family. If you choose +to fling away eight thousand a year, which you may have +for the asking, you may do it: but by Jove you take your +pack and walk out of this house, sir. Will you do as I tell +you, once for all, sir, or will you not?" + +"Marry that mulatto woman?" George said, pulling up +his shirt-collars. "I don't like the colour, sir. Ask the +black that sweeps opposite Fleet Market, sir. I'm not +going to marry a Hottentot Venus." + +Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the cord by which he +was accustomed to summon the butler when he wanted +wine--and almost black in the face, ordered that functionary +to call a coach for Captain Osborne. + +"I've done it," said George, coming into the Slaughters' +an hour afterwards, looking very pale. + +"What, my boy?" says Dobbin. + +George told what had passed between his father and +himself. + +"I'll marry her to-morrow," he said with an oath. "I +love her more every day, Dobbin." + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + + +A Marriage and Part of a Honeymoon + +Enemies the most obstinate and courageous can't hold +out against starvation; so the elder Osborne felt himself +pretty easy about his adversary in the encounter we have +just described; and as soon as George's supplies fell +short, confidently expected his unconditional submission. +It was unlucky, to be sure, that the lad should have secured +a stock of provisions on the very day when the first +encounter took place; but this relief was only temporary, +old Osborne thought, and would but delay George's +surrender. No communication passed between father and +son for some days. The former was sulky at this silence, +but not disquieted; for, as he said, he knew where he +could put the screw upon George, and only waited the +result of that operation. He told the sisters the upshot of +the dispute between them, but ordered them to take no +notice of the matter, and welcome George on his return +as if nothing had happened. His cover was laid as usual +every day, and perhaps the old gentleman rather anxiously +expected him; but he never came. Some one inquired +at the Slaughters' regarding him, where it was said +that he and his friend Captain Dobbin had left town. + +One gusty, raw day at the end of April--the rain whipping +the pavement of that ancient street where the old +Slaughters' Coffee-house was once situated--George Osborne +came into the coffee-room, looking very haggard +and pale; although dressed rather smartly in a blue coat +and brass buttons, and a neat buff waistcoat of the fashion +of those days. Here was his friend Captain Dobbin, +in blue and brass too, having abandoned the military +frock and French-grey trousers, which were the usual +coverings of his lanky person. + +Dobbin had been in the coffee-room for an hour or +more. He had tried all the papers, but could not read +them. He had looked at the clock many scores of times; +and at the street, where the rain was pattering down, +and the people as they clinked by in pattens, left long +reflections on the shining stone: he tattooed at the table: +he bit his nails most completely, and nearly to the quick +(he was accustomed to ornament his great big hands in +this way): he balanced the tea-spoon dexterously on the +milk jug: upset it, &c., &c.; and in fact showed those +signs of disquietude, and practised those desperate +attempts at amusement, which men are accustomed to +employ when very anxious, and expectant, and perturbed +in mind. + +Some of his comrades, gentlemen who used the room, +joked him about the splendour of his costume and his +agitation of manner. One asked him if he was going to be +married? Dobbin laughed, and said he would send his +acquaintance (Major Wagstaff of the Engineers) a piece of +cake when that event took place. At length Captain Osborne +made his appearance, very smartly dressed, but +very pale and agitated as we have said. He wiped his +pale face with a large yellow bandanna pocket-handkerchief +that was prodigiously scented. He shook hands with +Dobbin, looked at the clock, and told John, the waiter, +to bring him some curacao. Of this cordial he swallowed +off a couple of glasses with nervous eagerness. +His friend asked with some interest about his health. + +"Couldn't get a wink of sleep till daylight, Dob," said +he. "Infernal headache and fever. Got up at nine, and +went down to the Hummums for a bath. I say, Dob, I feel +just as I did on the morning I went out with Rocket at +Quebec." + +"So do I," William responded. "I was a deuced deal +more nervous than you were that morning. You made a +famous breakfast, I remember. Eat something now." + +"You're a good old fellow, Will. I'll drink your health, +old boy, and farewell to--" + +"No, no; two glasses are enough," Dobbin interrupted +him. "Here, take away the liqueurs, John. Have some +cayenne-pepper with your fowl. Make haste though, for it +is time we were there." + +It was about half an hour from twelve when this +brief meeting and colloquy took place between the two +captains. A coach, into which Captain Osborne's servant +put his master's desk and dressing-case, had been in +waiting for some time; and into this the two gentlemen +hurried under an umbrella, and the valet mounted on the +box, cursing the rain and the dampness of the coachman +who was steaming beside him. "We shall find a better +trap than this at the church-door," says he; "that's a +comfort." And the carriage drove on, taking the road +down Piccadilly, where Apsley House and St. George's +Hospital wore red jackets still; where there were oil- +lamps; where Achilles was not yet born; nor the Pimlico +arch raised; nor the hideous equestrian monster which +pervades it and the neighbourhood; and so they drove +down by Brompton to a certain chapel near the Fulham +Road there. + +A chariot was in waiting with four horses; likewise a +coach of the kind called glass coaches. Only a very few +idlers were collected on account of the dismal rain. + +"Hang it!" said George, "I said only a pair." + +"My master would have four," said Mr. Joseph Sedley's +servant, who was in waiting; and he and Mr. Osborne's +man agreed as they followed George and William into +the church, that it was a "reg'lar shabby turn +hout; and with scarce so much as a breakfast or a +wedding faviour." + +"Here you are," said our old friend, Jos Sedley, coming +forward. "You're five minutes late, George, my boy. +What a day, eh? Demmy, it's like the commencement of +the rainy season in Bengal. But you'll find my carriage +is watertight. Come along, my mother and Emmy are in the +vestry." + +Jos Sedley was splendid. He was fatter than ever. His +shirt collars were higher; his face was redder; his shirt- +frill flaunted gorgeously out of his variegated waistcoat. +Varnished boots were not invented as yet; but the Hessians +on his beautiful legs shone so, that they must have been +the identical pair in which the gentleman in the old picture +used to shave himself; and on his light green coat +there bloomed a fine wedding favour, like a great white +spreading magnolia. + +In a word, George had thrown the great cast. He was +going to be married. Hence his pallor and nervousness-- +his sleepless night and agitation in the morning. I have +heard people who have gone through the same thing +own to the same emotion. After three or four ceremonies, +you get accustomed to it, no doubt; but the first +dip, everybody allows, is awful. + +The bride was dressed in a brown silk pelisse (as +Captain Dobbin has since informed me), and wore a straw +bonnet with a pink ribbon; over the bonnet she had a +veil of white Chantilly lace, a gift from Mr. Joseph Sedley, +her brother. Captain Dobbin himself had asked leave +to present her with a gold chain and watch, which she +sported on this occasion; and her mother gave her her +diamond brooch--almost the only trinket which was left +to the old lady. As the service went on, Mrs. Sedley sat +and whimpered a great deal in a pew, consoled by the +Irish maid-servant and Mrs. Clapp from the lodgings. +Old Sedley would not be present. Jos acted for his father, +giving away the bride, whilst Captain Dobbin stepped up +as groomsman to his friend George. + +There was nobody in the church besides the officiating +persons and the small marriage party and their attendants. +The two valets sat aloof superciliously. The rain +came rattling down on the windows. In the intervals of +the service you heard it, and the sobbing of old Mrs. +Sedley in the pew. The parson's tones echoed sadly +through the empty walls. Osborne's "I will" was sounded +in very deep bass. Emmy's response came fluttering up +to her lips from her heart, but was scarcely heard by +anybody except Captain Dobbin. + +When the service was completed, Jos Sedley came +forward and kissed his sister, the bride, for the first time +for many months--George's look of gloom had gone, and +he seemed quite proud and radiant. "It's your turn, +William," says he, putting his hand fondly upon Dobbin's +shoulder; and Dobbin went up and touched Amelia on +the cheek. + +Then they went into the vestry and signed the register. +"God bless you, Old Dobbin," George said, grasping him +by the hand, with something very like moisture glistening +in his eyes. William replied only by nodding his head. +His heart was too full to say much. + +"Write directly, and come down as soon as you can, +you know," Osborne said. After Mrs. Sedley had taken an +hysterical adieu of her daughter, the pair went off to the +carriage. "Get out of the way, you little devils," George +cried to a small crowd of damp urchins, that were hanging +about the chapel-door. The rain drove into the bride +and bridegroom's faces as they passed to the chariot. +The postilions' favours draggled on their dripping jackets. +The few children made a dismal cheer, as the carriage, +splashing mud, drove away. + +William Dobbin stood in the church-porch, looking at it, +a queer figure. The small crew of spectators jeered him. +He was not thinking about them or their laughter. + +"Come home and have some tiffin, Dobbin," a voice +cried behind him; as a pudgy hand was laid on his shoulder, +and the honest fellow's reverie was interrupted. But +the Captain had no heart to go a-feasting with Jos Sedley. +He put the weeping old lady and her attendants into the +carriage along with Jos, and left them without any farther +words passing. This carriage, too, drove away, and the +urchins gave another sarcastical cheer. + +"Here, you little beggars," Dobbin said, giving some +sixpences amongst them, and then went off by himself +through the rain. It was all over. They were married, and +happy, he prayed God. Never since he was a boy had he +felt so miserable and so lonely. He longed with a heart- +sick yearning for the first few days to be over, that he +might see her again. + +Some ten days after the above ceremony, three young +men of our acquaintance were enjoying that beautiful +prospect of bow windows on the one side and blue sea +on the other, which Brighton affords to the traveller. +Sometimes it is towards the ocean--smiling with countless +dimples, speckled with white sails, with a hundred +bathing-machines kissing the skirt of his blue garment-- +that the Londoner looks enraptured: sometimes, on the +contrary, a lover of human nature rather than of prospects +of any kind, it is towards the bow windows that +he turns, and that swarm of human life which they +exhibit. From one issue the notes of a piano, which a young +lady in ringlets practises six hours daily, to the delight +of the fellow-lodgers: at another, lovely Polly, the nurse- +maid, may be seen dandling Master Omnium in her arms: +whilst Jacob, his papa, is beheld eating prawns, and +devouring the Times for breakfast, at the window below. +Yonder are the Misses Leery, who are looking out for the +young officers of the Heavies, who are pretty sure to be +pacing the cliff; or again it is a City man, with a nautical +turn, and a telescope, the size of a six-pounder, who has +his instrument pointed seawards, so as to command every +pleasure-boat, herring-boat, or bathing-machine that +comes to, or quits, the shore, &c., &c. But have we any +leisure for a description of Brighton?--for Brighton, a +clean Naples with genteel lazzaroni--for Brighton, that +always looks brisk, gay, and gaudy, like a harlequin's +jacket--for Brighton, which used to be seven hours +distant from London at the time of our story; which is now +only a hundred minutes off; and which may approach +who knows how much nearer, unless Joinville comes and +untimely bombards it? + +"What a monstrous fine girl that is in the lodgings +over the milliner's," one of these three promenaders +remarked to the other; "Gad, Crawley, did you see what a +wink she gave me as I passed?" + +"Don't break her heart, Jos, you rascal," said another. +"Don't trifle with her affections, you Don Juan!" + +"Get away," said Jos Sedley, quite pleased, and leering up +at the maid-servant in question with a most killing +ogle. Jos was even more splendid at Brighton than he had +been at his sister's marriage. He had brilliant under-waistcoats, +any one of which would have set up a moderate buck. +He sported a military frock-coat, ornamented with +frogs, knobs, black buttons, and meandering embroidery. +He had affected a military appearance and habits of late; +and he walked with his two friends, who were of that +profession, clinking his boot-spurs, swaggering prodigiously, +and shooting death-glances at all the servant girls +who were worthy to be slain. + +"What shall we do, boys, till the ladies return?" the +buck asked. The ladies were out to Rottingdean in his +carriage on a drive. + +"Let's have a game at billiards," one of his friends +said--the tall one, with lacquered mustachios. + +"No, dammy; no, Captain," Jos replied, rather +alarmed. "No billiards to-day, Crawley, my boy; +yesterday was enough." + +"You play very well," said Crawley, laughing. "Don't +he, Osborne? How well he made that-five stroke, eh?" + +"Famous," Osborne said. "Jos is a devil of a fellow +at billiards, and at everything else, too. I wish there were +any tiger-hunting about here! we might go and kill a few +before dinner. (There goes a fine girl! what an ankle, eh, +Jos?) Tell us that story about the tiger-hunt, and the +way you did for him in the jungle--it's a wonderful story +that, Crawley." Here George Osborne gave a yawn. "It's +rather slow work," said he, "down here; what shall we +do?" + +"Shall we go and look at some horses that Snaffler's +just brought from Lewes fair?" Crawley said. + +"Suppose we go and have some jellies at Dutton's," +and the rogue Jos, willing to kill two birds with one +stone. "Devilish fine gal at Dutton's." + +"Suppose we go and see the Lightning come in, it's +just about time?" George said. This advice prevailing +over the stables and the jelly, they turned towards the +coach-office to witness the Lightning's arrival. + +As they passed, they met the carriage--Jos Sedley's +open carriage, with its magnificent armorial bearings-- +that splendid conveyance in which he used to drive, about +at Cheltonham, majestic and solitary, with his arms +folded, and his hat cocked; or, more happy, with ladies +by his side. + +Two were in the carriage now: one a little person, with +light hair, and dressed in the height of the fashion; the +other in a brown silk pelisse, and a straw bonnet with +pink ribbons, with a rosy, round, happy face, that did +you good to behold. She checked the carriage as it +neared the three gentlemen, after which exercise of +authority she looked rather nervous, and then began to +blush most absurdly. "We have had a delightful drive, +George," she said, "and--and we're so glad to come back; +and, Joseph, don't let him be late." + +"Don't be leading our husbands into mischief, Mr. +Sedley, you wicked, wicked man you," Rebecca said, +shaking at Jos a pretty little finger covered with the +neatest French kid glove. "No billiards, no smoking, no +naughtiness!" + +"My dear Mrs. Crawley--Ah now! upon my honour!" +was all Jos could ejaculate by way of reply; but he managed +to fall into a tolerable attitude, with his head lying +on his shoulder, grinning upwards at his victim, with one +hand at his back, which he supported on his cane, and +the other hand (the one with the diamond ring) fumbling +in his shirt-frill and among his under-waistcoats. As the +carriage drove off he kissed the diamond hand to the fair +ladies within. He wished all Cheltenham, all Chowringhee, +all Calcutta, could see him in that position, waving his +hand to such a beauty, and in company with such a +famous buck as Rawdon Crawley of the Guards. + +Our young bride and bridegroom had chosen Brighton +as the place where they would pass the first few days after +their marriage; and having engaged apartments at the +Ship Inn, enjoyed themselves there in great comfort and +quietude, until Jos presently joined them. Nor was he +the only companion they found there. As they were +coming into the hotel from a sea-side walk one afternoon, +on whom should they light but Rebecca and her +husband. The recognition was immediate. Rebecca flew +into the arms of her dearest friend. Crawley and Osborne +shook hands together cordially enough: and Becky, in +the course of a very few hours, found means to make the +latter forget that little unpleasant passage of words which +had happened between them. "Do you remember the last +time we met at Miss Crawley's, when I was so rude to +you, dear Captain Osborne? I thought you seemed careless +about dear Amelia. It was that made me angry: and +so pert: and so unkind: and so ungrateful. Do forgive +me!" Rebecca said, and she held out her hand with so +frank and winning a grace, that Osborne could not but +take it. By humbly and frankly acknowledging yourself to +be in the wrong, there is no knowing, my son, what good +you may do. I knew once a gentleman and very worthy +practitioner in Vanity Fair, who used to do little wrongs +to his neighbours on purpose, and in order to apologise +for them in an open and manly way afterwards--and +what ensued? My friend Crocky Doyle was liked everywhere, +and deemed to be rather impetuous--but the honestest +fellow. Becky's humility passed for sincerity with +George Osborne. + +These two young couples had plenty of tales to relate +to each other. The marriages of either were discussed; +and their prospects in life canvassed with the greatest +frankness and interest on both sides. George's marriage +was to be made known to his father by his friend +Captain Dobbin; and young Osborne trembled rather for the +result of that communication. Miss Crawley, on whom +all Rawdon's hopes depended, still held out. Unable to +make an entry into her house in Park Lane, her +affectionate nephew and niece had followed her to +Brighton, where they had emissaries continually planted +at her door. + +"I wish you could see some of Rawdon's friends who +are always about our door," Rebecca said, laughing. "Did +you ever see a dun, my dear; or a bailiff and his man? +Two of the abominable wretches watched all last week +at the greengrocer's opposite, and we could not get away +until Sunday. If Aunty does not relent, what shall we +do?" + +Rawdon, with roars of laughter, related a dozen amusing +anecdotes of his duns, and Rebecca's adroit treatment +of them. He vowed with a great oath that there was +no woman in Europe who could talk a creditor over as +she could. Almost immediately after their marriage, her +practice had begun, and her husband found the immense +value of such a wife. They had credit in plenty, but they +had bills also in abundance, and laboured under a scarcity +of ready money. Did these debt-difficulties affect Rawdon's +good spirits? No. Everybody in Vanity Fair must +have remarked how well those live who are comfortably +and thoroughly in debt: how they deny themselves nothing; +how jolly and easy they are in their minds. Rawdon +and his wife had the very best apartments at the inn at +Brighton; the landlord, as he brought in the first dish, +bowed before them as to his greatest customers: and +Rawdon abused the dinners and wine with an audacity +which no grandee in the land could surpass. Long custom, +a manly appearance, faultless boots and clothes, +and a happy fierceness of manner, will often help a man +as much as a great balance at the banker's. + +The two wedding parties met constantly in each other's +apartments. After two or three nights the gentlemen of an +evening had a little piquet, as their wives sate and chatted +apart. This pastime, and the arrival of Jos Sedley, who +made his appearance in his grand open carriage, and who +played a few games at billiards with Captain Crawley, +replenished Rawdon's purse somewhat, and gave him the +benefit of that ready money for which the greatest spirits +are sometimes at a stand-still. + +So the three gentlemen walked down to see the Lightning +coach come in. Punctual to the minute, the coach +crowded inside and out, the guard blowing his accustomed +tune on the horn--the Lightning came tearing +down the street, and pulled up at the coach-office. + +"Hullo! there's old Dobbin," George cried, quite delighted +to see his old friend perched on the roof; and +whose promised visit to Brighton had been delayed until +now. "How are you, old fellow? Glad you're come down. +Emmy'll be delighted to see you," Osborne said, shaking +his comrade warmly by the hand as soon as his descent +from the vehicle was effected--and then he added, in a +lower and agitated voice, "What's the news? Have you +been in Russell Square? What does the governor say? +Tell me everything." + +Dobbin looked very pale and grave. "I've seen your +father," said he. "How's Amelia--Mrs. George? I'll tell +you all the news presently: but I've brought the great +news of all: and that is--" + +"Out with it, old fellow," George said. + +"We're ordered to Belgium. All the army goes--guards +and all. Heavytop's got the gout, and is mad at not being +able to move. O'Dowd goes in command, and we embark +from Chatham next week." This news of war could +not but come with a shock upon our lovers, and caused +all these gentlemen to look very serious. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +Captain Dobbin Proceeds on His Canvass + +What is the secret mesmerism which friendship +possesses, and under the operation of which a person +ordinarily sluggish, or cold, or timid, becomes wise, +active, and resolute, in another's behalf? As Alexis, +after a few passes from Dr. Elliotson, despises pain, +reads with the back of his head, sees miles off, +looks into next week, and performs other wonders, +of which, in his own private normal condition, he is +quite incapable; so you see, in the affairs of the world +and under the magnetism of friendships, the modest +man becomes bold, the shy confident, the lazy active, or +the impetuous prudent and peaceful. What is it, on the +other hand, that makes the lawyer eschew his own cause, +and call in his learned brother as an adviser? And what causes +the doctor, when ailing, to send for his rival, and not sit +down and examine his own tongue in the chimney Bass, +or write his own prescription at his study-table? I throw +out these queries for intelligent readers to answer, who +know, at once, how credulous we are, and how sceptical, +how soft and how obstinate, how firm for others and how +diffident about ourselves: meanwhile, it is certain that +our friend William Dobbin, who was personally of so +complying a disposition that if his parents had pressed +him much, it is probable he would have stepped down +into the kitchen and married the cook, and who, to further +his own interests, would have found the most insuperable +difficulty in walking across the street, found himself as +busy and eager in the conduct of George Osborne's +affairs, as the most selfish tactician could be in the pursuit +of his own. + +Whilst our friend George and his young wife were +enjoying the first blushing days of the honeymoon at +Brighton, honest William was left as George's plenipotentiary +in London, to transact all the business part of the marriage. +His duty it was to call upon old Sedley and his +wife, and to keep the former in good humour: to draw Jos +and his brother-in-law nearer together, so that Jos's position +and dignity, as collector of Boggley Wollah, might +compensate for his father's loss of station, and tend to +reconcile old Osborne to the alliance: and finally, to +communicate it to the latter in such a way as should least +irritate the old gentleman. + +Now, before he faced the head of the Osborne house +with the news which it was his duty to tell, Dobbin bethought +him that it would be politic to make friends of the +rest of the family, and, if possible, have the ladies on his +side. They can't be angry in their hearts, thought he. No +woman ever was really angry at a romantic marriage. A +little crying out, and they must come round to their +brother; when the three of us will lay siege to old Mr. +Osborne. So this Machiavellian captain of infantry cast +about him for some happy means or stratagem by which +he could gently and gradually bring the Misses Osborne +to a knowledge of their brother's secret. + +By a little inquiry regarding his mother's engagements, +he was pretty soon able to find out by whom of her ladyship's friends parties were given at that season; where +he would be likely to meet Osborne's sisters; and, though +he had that abhorrence of routs and evening parties +which many sensible men, alas! entertain, he soon found +one where the Misses Osborne were to be present. +Making his appearance at the ball, where he danced a couple +of sets with both of them, and was prodigiously polite, he +actually had the courage to ask Miss Osborne for a few +minutes' conversation at an early hour the next day, when +he had, he said, to communicate to her news of the +very greatest interest. + +What was it that made her start back, and gaze upon +him for a moment, and then on the ground at her feet, +and make as if she would faint on his arm, had he not by +opportunely treading on her toes, brought the young lady +back to self-control? Why was she so violently agitated +at Dobbin's request? This can never be known. But when +he came the next day, Maria was not in the drawing-room +with her sister, and Miss Wirt went off for the purpose +of fetching the latter, and the Captain and Miss Osborne +were left together. They were both so silent that the ticktock +of the Sacrifice of Iphigenia clock on the mantelpiece +became quite rudely audible. + +"What a nice party it was last night," Miss Osborne at +length began, encouragingly; "and--and how you're +improved in your dancing, Captain Dobbin. Surely somebody +has taught you," she added, with amiable archness. + +"You should see me dance a reel with Mrs. Major +O'Dowd of ours; and a jig--did you ever see a jig? But +I think anybody could dance with you, Miss Osborne, +who dance so well." + +"Is the Major's lady young and beautiful, Captain?" the +fair questioner continued. "Ah, what a terrible thing it +must be to be a soldier's wife! I wonder they have any +spirits to dance, and in these dreadful times of war, too! +O Captain Dobbin, I tremble sometimes when I think of +our dearest George, and the dangers of the poor soldier. +Are there many married officers of the --th, Captain +Dobbin?" + +"Upon my word, she's playing her hand rather too +openly," Miss Wirt thought; but this observation is merely parenthetic, and was not heard through the crevice of +the door at which the governess uttered it. + +"One of our young men is just married," Dobbin said, +now coming to the point. "It was a very old attachment, +and the young couple are as poor as church mice." +"O, how delightful! O, how romantic!" Miss Osborne +cried, as the Captain said "old attachment" and "poor." +Her sympathy encouraged him. + +"The finest young fellow in the regiment," he continued. +"Not a braver or handsomer officer in the army; and +such a charming wife! How you would like her! how +you will like her when you know her, Miss Osborne." The +young lady thought the actual moment had arrived, and +that Dobbin's nervousness which now came on and was +visible in many twitchings of his face, in his manner of +beating the ground with his great feet, in the rapid +buttoning and unbuttoning of his frock-coat, &c.--Miss +Osborne, I say, thought that when he had given himself a +little air, he would unbosom himself entirely, and +prepared eagerly to listen. And the clock, in the altar on +which Iphigenia was situated, beginning, after a preparatory convulsion, to toll twelve, the mere tolling seemed +as if it would last until one--so prolonged was the knell +to the anxious spinster. + +"But it's not about marriage that I came to speak-- +that is that marriage--that is--no, I mean--my dear +Miss Osborne, it's about our dear friend George," +Dobbin said. + +"About George?" she said in a tone so discomfited +that Maria and Miss Wirt laughed at the other side of +the door, and even that abandoned wretch of a Dobbin +felt inclined to smile himself; for he was not altogether +unconscious of the state of affairs: George having often +bantered him gracefully and said, "Hang it, Will, why +don't you take old Jane? She'll have you if you ask her. +I'll bet you five to two she will." + +"Yes, about George, then," he continued. "There has +been a difference between him and Mr. Osborne. And I +regard him so much--for you know we have been like +brothers--that I hope and pray the quarrel may be +settled. We must go abroad, Miss Osborne. We may be +ordered off at a day's warning. Who knows what may +happen in the campaign? Don't be agitated, dear Miss +Osborne; and those two at least should part friends." + +"There has been no quarrel, Captain Dobbin, except +a little usual scene with Papa," the lady said. "We are +expecting George back daily. What Papa wanted was only +for his good. He has but to come back, and I'm sure all +will be well; and dear Rhoda, who went away from here +in sad sad anger, I know will forgive him. Woman forgives +but too readily, Captain." + +"Such an angel as YOU I am sure would," Mr. Dobbin +said, with atrocious astuteness. "And no man can pardon +himself for giving a woman pain. What would you feel, +if a man were faithless to you?" + +"I should perish--I should throw myself out of window-- +I should take poison--I should pine and die. I +know I should," Miss cried, who had nevertheless gone +through one or two affairs of the heart without any idea +of suicide. + +"And there are others," Dobbin continued, "as true +and as kind-hearted as yourself. I'm not speaking about +the West Indian heiress, Miss Osborne, but about a poor +girl whom George once loved, and who was bred from +her childhood to think of nobody but him. I've seen her +in her poverty uncomplaining, broken-hearted, without a +fault. It is of Miss Sedley I speak. Dear Miss Osborne, +can your generous heart quarrel with your brother for +being faithful to her? Could his own conscience ever +forgive him if he deserted her? Be her friend--she always +loved you--and--and I am come here charged by George +to tell you that he holds his engagement to her as the +most sacred duty he has; and to entreat you, at least, +to be on his side." + +When any strong emotion took possession of Mr. Dobbin, +and after the first word or two of hesitation, he could +speak with perfect fluency, and it was evident that his +eloquence on this occasion made some impression upon +the lady whom he addressed. + +"Well," said she, "this is--most surprising--most painful-- +most extraordinary--what will Papa say?--that +George should fling away such a superb establishment as +was offered to him but at any rate he has found a very +brave champion in you, Captain Dobbin. It is of no use, +however," she continued, after a pause; "I feel for poor +Miss Sedley, most certainly--most sincerely, you know. +We never thought the match a good one, though we were +always very kind to her here--very. But Papa will never +consent, I am sure. And a well brought up young woman, +you know--with a well-regulated mind, must--George +must give her up, dear Captain Dobbin, indeed he must." + +"Ought a man to give up the woman he loved, just +when misfortune befell her?" Dobbin said, holding out +his hand. "Dear Miss Osborne, is this the counsel I hear +from you? My dear young lady! you must befriend her. +He can't give her up. He must not give her up. Would a +man, think you, give YOU up if you were poor?" + +This adroit question touched the heart of Miss Jane +Osborne not a little. "I don't know whether we poor girls +ought to believe what you men say, Captain," she said. +"There is that in woman's tenderness which induces her +to believe too easily. I'm afraid you are cruel, cruel +deceivers,"--and Dobbin certainly thought he felt a +pressure of the hand which Miss Osborne had extended +to him. + +He dropped it in some alarm. "Deceivers!" said he. +"No, dear Miss Osborne, all men are not; your brother +is not; George has loved Amelia Sedley ever since they +were children; no wealth would make him marry any but +her. Ought he to forsake her? Would you counsel him to +do so?" + +What could Miss Jane say to such a question, and with +her own peculiar views? She could not answer it, so she +parried it by saying, "Well, if you are not a deceiver, at +least you are very romantic"; and Captain William let +this observation pass without challenge. + +At length when, by the help of farther polite speeches, +he deemed that Miss Osborne was sufficiently prepared to +receive the whole news, he poured it into her ear. +"George could not give up Amelia--George was married +to her"--and then he related the circumstances of the +marriage as we know them already: how the poor girl +would have died had not her lover kept his faith: how +Old Sedley had refused all consent to the match, and a +licence had been got: and Jos Sedley had come from +Cheltenham to give away the bride: how they had gone +to Brighton in Jos's chariot-and-four to pass the honeymoon: +and how George counted on his dear kind sisters to +befriend him with their father, as women--so true +and tender as they were--assuredly would do. And so, +asking permission (readily granted) to see her again, and +rightly conjecturing that the news he had brought would +be told in the next five minutes to the other ladies, +Captain Dobbin made his bow and took his leave. + +He was scarcely out of the house, when Miss Maria +and Miss Wirt rushed in to Miss Osborne, and the +whole wonderful secret was imparted to them by that +lady. To do them justice, neither of the sisters was very +much displeased. There is something about a runaway +match with which few ladies can be seriously angry, and +Amelia rather rose in their estimation, from the spirit +which she had displayed in consenting to the union. As +they debated the story, and prattled about it, and wondered +what Papa would do and say, came a loud knock, +as of an avenging thunder-clap, at the door, which made +these conspirators start. It must be Papa, they thought. +But it was not he. It was only Mr. Frederick Bullock, +who had come from the City according to appointment, +to conduct the ladies to a flower-show. + +This gentleman, as may be imagined, was not kept +long in ignorance of the secret. But his face, when he +heard it, showed an amazement which was very different +to that look of sentimental wonder which the countenances +of the sisters wore. Mr. Bullock was a man of the world, +and a junior partner of a wealthy firm. He knew what +money was, and the value of it: and a delightful throb +of expectation lighted up his little eyes, and caused him +to smile on his Maria, as he thought that by this piece +of folly of Mr. George's she might be worth thirty +thousand pounds more than he had ever hoped to +get with her. + +"Gad! Jane," said he, surveying even the elder sister +with some interest, "Eels will be sorry he cried off. You +may be a fifty thousand pounder yet." + +The sisters had never thought of the money question +up to that moment, but Fred Bullock bantered them +with graceful gaiety about it during their forenoon's +excursion; and they had risen not a little in their own +esteem by the time when, the morning amusement over, +they drove back to dinner. And do not let my respected +reader exclaim against this selfishness as unnatural. It +was but this present morning, as he rode on the omnibus +from Richmond; while it changed horses, this present +chronicler, being on the roof, marked three little children +playing in a puddle below, very dirty, and friendly, and +happy. To these three presently came another little one. +"POLLY," says she, "YOUR SISTER'S GOT A PENNY." At which +the children got up from the puddle instantly, and ran +off to pay their court to Peggy. And as the omnibus drove +off I saw Peggy with the infantine procession at her +tail, marching with great dignity towards the stall of a +neighbouring lollipop-woman. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + + + +In Which Mr. Osborne Takes Down the Family Bible + +So having prepared the sisters, Dobbin hastened away +to the City to perform the rest and more difficult part +of the task which he had undertaken. The idea of facing +old Osborne rendered him not a little nervous, and more +than once he thought of leaving the young ladies to +communicate the secret, which, as he was aware, they could +not long retain. But he had promised to report to George +upon the manner in which the elder Osborne bore the +intelligence; so going into the City to the paternal +counting-house in Thames Street, he despatched thence +a note to Mr. Osborne begging for a half-hour's conversation +relative to the affairs of his son George. Dobbin's messenger +returned from Mr. Osborne's house of business, with the +compliments of the latter, who would be very happy to see the +Captain immediately, and away accordingly Dobbin went +to confront him. + +The Captain, with a half-guilty secret to confess, and +with the prospect of a painful and stormy interview +before him, entered Mr. Osborne's offices with a most +dismal countenance and abashed gait, and, passing through +the outer room where Mr. Chopper presided, was greeted +by that functionary from his desk with a waggish air +which farther discomfited him. Mr. Chopper winked and +nodded and pointed his pen towards his patron's door, +and said, "You'll find the governor all right," with the +most provoking good humour. + +Osborne rose too, and shook him heartily by the hand, +and said, "How do, my dear boy?" with a cordiality that +made poor George's ambassador feel doubly guilty. His +hand lay as if dead in the old gentleman's grasp. He felt +that he, Dobbin, was more or less the cause of all that +had happened. It was he had brought back George to +Amelia: it was he had applauded, encouraged, transacted +almost the marriage which he was come to reveal to +George's father: and the latter was receiving him with +smiles of welcome; patting him on the shoulder, and calling +him "Dobbin, my dear boy." The envoy had indeed +good reason to hang his head. + +Osborne fully believed that Dobbin had come to +announce his son's surrender. Mr. Chopper and his +principal were talking over the matter between George and +his father, at the very moment when Dobbin's messenger +arrived. Both agreed that George was sending in his +submission. Both had been expecting it for some days--and +"Lord! Chopper, what a marriage we'll have!" Mr. +Osborne said to his clerk, snapping his big fingers, and +jingling all the guineas and shillings in his great pockets +as he eyed his subordinate with a look of triumph. + +With similar operations conducted in both pockets, +and a knowing jolly air, Osborne from his chair regarded +Dobbin seated blank and silent opposite to him. "What +a bumpkin he is for a Captain in the army," old Osborne +thought. "I wonder George hasn't taught him better +manners." + +At last Dobbin summoned courage to begin. "Sir," said +he, "I've brought you some very grave news. I have been +at the Horse Guards this morning, and there's no doubt +that our regiment will be ordered abroad, and on its +way to Belgium before the week is over. And you know, +sir, that we shan't be home again before a tussle which +may be fatal to many of us." + Osborne looked grave. "My s-- , the regiment will +do its duty, sir, I daresay," he said. + +"The French are very strong, sir," Dobbin went on. +"The Russians and Austrians will be a long time before +they can bring their troops down. We shall have the first +of the fight, sir; and depend on it Boney will take care +that it shall be a hard one." + +"What are you driving at, Dobbin?" his interlocutor +said, uneasy and with a scowl. "I suppose no Briton's +afraid of any d-- Frenchman, hey?" + +"I only mean, that before we go, and considering the +great and certain risk that hangs over every one of us-- +if there are any differences between you and George--it +would be as well, sir, that--that you should shake hands: +wouldn't it? Should anything happen to him, I think you +would never forgive yourself if you hadn't parted in +charity." + +As he said this, poor William Dobbin blushed crimson, +and felt and owned that he himself was a traitor. But +for him, perhaps, this severance need never have taken +place. Why had not George's marriage been delayed? +What call was there to press it on so eagerly? He felt that +George would have parted from Amelia at any rate without +a mortal pang. Amelia, too, MIGHT have recovered the +shock of losing him. It was his counsel had brought +about this marriage, and all that was to ensue from it. +And why was it? Because he loved her so much that he +could not bear to see her unhappy: or because his own +sufferings of suspense were so unendurable that he was +glad to crush them at once--as we hasten a funeral +after a death, or, when a separation from those we love +is imminent, cannot rest until the parting be over. + +"You are a good fellow, William," said Mr. Osborne in +a softened voice; "and me and George shouldn't part in +anger, that is true. Look here. I've done for him as +much as any father ever did. He's had three times as +much money from me, as I warrant your father ever +gave you. But I don't brag about that. How I've toiled +for him, and worked and employed my talents and energy, +I won't say. Ask Chopper. Ask himself. Ask the City of +London. Well, I propose to him such a marriage as any +nobleman in the land might be proud of--the only thing +in life I ever asked him--and he refuses me. Am I wrong? +Is the quarrel of MY making? What do I seek but his +good, for which I've been toiling like a convict ever since +he was born? Nobody can say there's anything selfish in +me. Let him come back. I say, here's my hand. I say, +forget and forgive. As for marrying now, it's out of the +question. Let him and Miss S. make it up, and make out the +marriage afterwards, when he comes back a Colonel; +for he shall be a Colonel, by G-- he shall, if money +can do it. I'm glad you've brought him round. I know it's +you, Dobbin. You've took him out of many a scrape +before. Let him come. I shan't be hard. Come along, and +dine in Russell Square to-day: both of you. The old shop, +the old hour. You'll find a neck of venison, and no +questions asked." + +This praise and confidence smote Dobbin's heart very +keenly. Every moment the colloquy continued in this +tone, he felt more and more guilty. "Sir," said he, "I +fear you deceive yourself. I am sure you do. George is +much too high-minded a man ever to marry for money. A +threat on your part that you would disinherit him in +case of disobedience would only be followed by resistance +on his." + +"Why, hang it, man, you don't call offering him eight +or ten thousand a year threatening him?'' Mr. Osborne +said, with still provoking good humour. "'Gad, if Miss +S. will have me, I'm her man. I ain't particular about a +shade or so of tawny." And the old gentleman gave his +knowing grin and coarse laugh. + +"You forget, sir, previous engagements into which +Captain Osborne had entered," the ambassador said, gravely. + +"What engagements? What the devil do you mean? +You don't mean," Mr. Osborne continued, gathering +wrath and astonishment as the thought now first came +upon him; "you don't mean that he's such a d-- fool +as to be still hankering after that swindling old bankrupt's +daughter? You've not come here for to make me +suppose that he wants to marry HER? Marry HER, that IS +a good one. My son and heir marry a beggar's girl out of +a gutter. D-- him, if he does, let him buy a broom +and sweep a crossing. She was always dangling and ogling +after him, I recollect now; and I've no doubt she was +put on by her old sharper of a father." + +"Mr. Sedley was your very good friend, sir," Dobbin +interposed, almost pleased at finding himself growing +angry. "Time was you called him better names than +rogue and swindler. The match was of your making. +George had no right to play fast and loose--" + +"Fast and loose!" howled out old Osborne. "Fast and +loose! Why, hang me, those are the very words my +gentleman used himself when he gave himself airs, last +Thursday was a fortnight, and talked about the British army +to his father who made him. What, it's you who have +been a setting of him up--is it? and my service to you, +CAPTAIN. It's you who want to introduce beggars into my +family. Thank you for nothing, Captain. Marry HER indeed +--he, he! why should he? I warrant you she'd go to him +fast enough without." + +"Sir," said Dobbin, starting up in undisguised anger; +"no man shall abuse that lady in my hearing, and you +least of all." + +"O, you're a-going to call me out, are you? Stop, let me +ring the bell for pistols for two. Mr. George sent you +here to insult his father, did he?" Osborne said, pulling +at the bell-cord. + +"Mr. Osborne," said Dobbin, with a faltering voice, +"it's you who are insulting the best creature in the world. +You had best spare her, sir, for she's your son's wife." + +And with this, feeling that he could say no more, Dobbin +went away, Osborne sinking back in his chair, and +looking wildly after him. A clerk came in, obedient to the +bell; and the Captain was scarcely out of the court where +Mr. Osborne's offices were, when Mr. Chopper the chief +clerk came rushing hatless after him. + +"For God's sake, what is it?" Mr. Chopper said, catching +the Captain by the skirt. "The governor's in a fit. +What has Mr. George been doing?" + +"He married Miss Sedley five days ago," Dobbin replied. +"I was his groomsman, Mr. Chopper, and you must +stand his friend." + +The old clerk shook his head. "If that's your news, +Captain, it's bad. The governor will never forgive him." + +Dobbin begged Chopper to report progress to him at +the hotel where he was stopping, and walked off moodily +westwards, greatly perturbed as to the past and the +future. + +When the Russell Square family came to dinner that +evening, they found the father of the house seated in his +usual place, but with that air of gloom on his face, which, +whenever it appeared there, kept the whole circle silent. +The ladies, and Mr. Bullock who dined with them, felt +that the news had been communicated to Mr. Osborne. +His dark looks affected Mr. Bullock so far as to render +him still and quiet: but he was unusually bland and +attentive to Miss Maria, by whom he sat, and to her sister +presiding at the head of the table. + +Miss Wirt, by consequence, was alone on her side of +the board, a gap being left between her and Miss Jane +Osborne. Now this was George's place when he dined at +home; and his cover, as we said, was laid for him in +expectation of that truant's return. Nothing occurred +during dinner-time except smiling Mr. Frederick's flagging +confidential whispers, and the clinking of plate and china, +to interrupt the silence of the repast. The servants went +about stealthily doing their duty. Mutes at funerals could +not look more glum than the domestics of Mr. Osborne +The neck of venison of which he had invited Dobbin to +partake, was carved by him in perfect silence; but his +own share went away almost untasted, though he drank +much, and the butler assiduously filled his glass. + +At last, just at the end of the dinner, his eyes, which +had been staring at everybody in turn, fixed themselves +for a while upon the plate laid for George. He pointed +to it presently with his left hand. His daughters looked at +him and did not comprehend, or choose to comprehend, +the signal; nor did the servants at first understand it. + +"Take that plate away," at last he said, getting up with +an oath--and with this pushing his chair back, he walked +into his own room. + +Behind Mr. Osborne's dining-room was the usual +apartment which went in his house by the name of the +study; and was sacred to the master of the house. Hither +Mr. Osborne would retire of a Sunday forenoon when +not minded to go to church; and here pass the morning +in his crimson leather chair, reading the paper. A couple +of glazed book-cases were here, containing standard +works in stout gilt bindings. The "Annual Register," the +"Gentleman's Magazine," "Blair's Sermons," and "Hume +and Smollett." From year's end to year's end he never +took one of these volumes from the shelf; but there was +no member of the family that would dare for his life to +touch one of the books, except upon those rare Sunday +evenings when there was no dinner-party, and when the +great scarlet Bible and Prayer-book were taken out from +the corner where they stood beside his copy of the Peerage, +and the servants being rung up to the dining parlour, +Osborne read the evening service to his family in a +loud grating pompous voice. No member of the household, +child, or domestic, ever entered that room without +a certain terror. Here he checked the housekeeper's accounts, +and overhauled the butler's cellar-book. Hence he +could command, across the clean gravel court-yard, the +back entrance of the stables with which one of his bells +communicated, and into this yard the coachman issued +from his premises as into a dock, and Osborne swore at +him from the study window. Four times a year Miss +Wirt entered this apartment to get her salary; and his +daughters to receive their quarterly allowance. George +as a boy had been horsewhipped in this room many +times; his mother sitting sick on the stair listening to the +cuts of the whip. The boy was scarcely ever known to +cry under the punishment; the poor woman used to +fondle and kiss him secretly, and give him money to +soothe him when he came out. + +There was a picture of the family over the mantelpiece, +removed thither from the front room after Mrs. Osborne's +death--George was on a pony, the elder sister +holding him up a bunch of flowers; the younger led by +her mother's hand; all with red cheeks and large red +mouths, simpering on each other in the approved family- +portrait manner. The mother lay underground now, long +since forgotten--the sisters and brother had a hundred +different interests of their own, and, familiar still, were +utterly estranged from each other. Some few score of +years afterwards, when all the parties represented are +grown old, what bitter satire there is in those flaunting +childish family-portraits, with their farce of sentiment and +smiling lies, and innocence so self-conscious and self- +satisfied. Osborne's own state portrait, with that of his +great silver inkstand and arm-chair, had taken the place +of honour in the dining-room, vacated by the family- +piece. + +To this study old Osborne retired then, greatly to the +relief of the small party whom he left. When the +servants had withdrawn, they began to talk for a while +volubly but very low; then they went upstairs quietly, +Mr. Bullock accompanying them stealthily on his creaking +shoes. He had no heart to sit alone drinking wine, +and so close to the terrible old gentleman in the study +hard at hand. + +An hour at least after dark, the butler, not having +received any summons, ventured to tap at his door and +take him in wax candles and tea. The master of the +house sate in his chair, pretending to read the paper, +and when the servant, placing the lights and refreshment +on the table by him, retired, Mr. Osborne got up and +locked the door after him. This time there was no mistaking +the matter; all the household knew that some great +catastrophe was going to happen which was likely direly +to affect Master George. + +In the large shining mahogany escritoire Mr. Osborne +had a drawer especially devoted to his son's affairs and +papers. Here he kept all the documents relating to him +ever since he had been a boy: here were his prize copy- +books and drawing-books, all bearing George's hand, +and that of the master: here were his first letters in large +round-hand sending his love to papa and mamma, and +conveying his petitions for a cake. His dear godpapa +Sedley was more than once mentioned in them. Curses +quivered on old Osborne's livid lips, and horrid hatred +and disappointment writhed in his heart, as looking +through some of these papers he came on that name. +They were all marked and docketed, and tied with red tape. +It was--From Georgy, requesting 5s., April 23, 18--; +answered, April 25"--or "Georgy about a pony, October +13"--and so forth. In another packet were "Dr. S.'s accounts" +--"G.'s tailor's bills and outfits, drafts on me by +G. Osborne, jun.," &c.--his letters from the West Indies +--his agent's letters, and the newspapers containing his +commissions: here was a whip he had when a boy, and in +a paper a locket containing his hair, which his mother +used to wear. + +Turning one over after another, and musing over these +memorials, the unhappy man passed many hours. His +dearest vanities, ambitious hopes, had all been here. What +pride he had in his boy! He was the handsomest child +ever seen. Everybody said he was like a nobleman's +son. A royal princess had remarked him, and kissed +him, and asked his name in Kew Gardens. What City +man could show such another? Could a prince have been +better cared for? Anything that money could buy had +been his son's. He used to go down on speech-days with +four horses and new liveries, and scatter new shillings +among the boys at the school where George was: when +he went with George to the depot of his regiment, before +the boy embarked for Canada, he gave the officers +such a dinner as the Duke of York might have sat down +to. Had he ever refused a bill when George drew one? +There they were--paid without a word. Many a general +in the army couldn't ride the horses he had! He had the +child before his eyes, on a hundred different days when +he remembered George after dinner, when he used +to come in as bold as a lord and drink off his glass by +his father's side, at the head of the table--on the pony +at Brighton, when he cleared the hedge and kept up with +the huntsman--on the day when he was presented to +the Prince Regent at the levee, when all Saint James's +couldn't produce a finer young fellow. And this, this was +the end of all!--to marry a bankrupt and fly in the face +of duty and fortune! What humiliation and fury: what +pangs of sickening rage, balked ambition and love; what +wounds of outraged vanity, tenderness even, had this +old worldling now to suffer under! + +Having examined these papers, and pondered over this +one and the other, in that bitterest of all helpless woe, +with which miserable men think of happy past times-- +George's father took the whole of the documents out of +the drawer in which he had kept them so long, and locked +them into a writing-box, which he tied, and sealed with +his seal. Then he opened the book-case, and took down +the great red Bible we have spoken of a pompous +book, seldom looked at, and shining all over with gold. +There was a frontispiece to the volume, representing +Abraham sacrificing Isaac. Here, according to custom, +Osborne had recorded on the fly-leaf, and in his large +clerk-like hand, the dates of his marriage and his wife's +death, and the births and Christian names of his children. +Jane came first, then George Sedley Osborne, then Maria +Frances, and the days of the christening of each. Taking +a pen, he carefully obliterated George's names from +the page; and when the leaf was quite dry, restored the +volume to the place from which he had moved it. Then +he took a document out of another drawer, where his +own private papers were kept; and having read it, crumpled +it up and lighted it at one of the candles, and saw it +burn entirely away in the grate. It was his will; which +being burned, he sate down and wrote off a letter, and +rang for his servant, whom he charged to deliver it in the +morning. It was morning already: as he went up to bed, +the whole house was alight with the sunshine; and the +birds were singing among the fresh green leaves in +Russell Square. + +Anxious to keep all Mr. Osborne's family and dependants +in good humour, and to make as many friends as +possible for George in his hour of adversity, William Dobbin, +who knew the effect which good dinners and good +wines have upon the soul of man, wrote off immediately +on his return to his inn the most hospitable of invitations +to Thomas Chopper, Esquire, begging that gentleman to +dine with him at the Slaughters' next day. The note +reached Mr. Chopper before he left the City, and the +instant reply was, that "Mr. Chopper presents his +respectful compliments, and will have the honour and +pleasure of waiting on Captain D." The invitation and the +rough draft of the answer were shown to Mrs. Chopper +and her daughters on his return to Somers' Town that +evening, and they talked about military gents and West +End men with great exultation as the family sate and +partook of tea. When the girls had gone to rest, Mr. and +Mrs. C. discoursed upon the strange events which were +occurring in the governor's family. Never had the clerk +seen his principal so moved. When he went in to Mr. +Osborne, after Captain Dobbin's departure, Mr. Chopper +found his chief black in the face, and all but in a fit: +some dreadful quarrel, he was certain, had occurred +between Mr. O. and the young Captain. Chopper had been +instructed to make out an account of all sums paid to +Captain Osborne within the last three years. "And a +precious lot of money he has had too," the chief clerk said, +and respected his old and young master the more, for +the liberal way in which the guineas had been flung about. +The dispute was something about Miss Sedley. Mrs. +Chopper vowed and declared she pitied that poor young +lady to lose such a handsome young fellow as the Capting. +As the daughter of an unlucky speculator, who had paid a +very shabby dividend, Mr. Chopper had no great regard +for Miss Sedley. He respected the house of Osborne +before all others in the City of London: and his hope and +wish was that Captain George should marry a nobleman's +daughter. The clerk slept a great deal sounder than +his principal that night; and, cuddling his children after +breakfast (of which he partook with a very hearty +appetite, though his modest cup of life was only +sweetened with brown sugar), he set off in his best Sunday +suit and frilled shirt for business, promising his admiring +wife not to punish Captain D.'s port too severely that +evening. + +Mr. Osborne's countenance, when he arrived in the +City at his usual time, struck those dependants who were +accustomed, for good reasons, to watch its expression, +as peculiarly ghastly and worn. At twelve o'clock Mr. +Higgs (of the firm of Higgs & Blatherwick, solicitors, +Bedford Row) called by appointment, and was ushered +into the governor's private room, and closeted there for +more than an hour. At about one Mr. Chopper +received a note brought by Captain Dobbin's man, and +containing an inclosure for Mr. Osborne, which the clerk +went in and delivered. A short time afterwards Mr. +Chopper and Mr. Birch, the next clerk, were summoned, and +requested to witness a paper. "I've been making a new +will," Mr. Osborne said, to which these gentlemen +appended their names accordingly. No conversation +passed. Mr. Higgs looked exceedingly grave as he came +into the outer rooms, and very hard in Mr. Chopper's +face; but there were not any explanations. It was +remarked that Mr. Osborne was particularly quiet and +gentle all day, to the surprise of those who had augured ill +from his darkling demeanour. He called no man names +that day, and was not heard to swear once. He left business +early; and before going away, summoned his chief +clerk once more, and having given him general instructions, +asked him, after some seeming hesitation and reluctance +to speak, if he knew whether Captain Dobbin was in town? + +Chopper said he believed he was. Indeed both of them +knew the fact perfectly. + +Osborne took a letter directed to that officer, and +giving it to the clerk, requested the latter to deliver it +into Dobbin's own hands immediately. + +"And now, Chopper," says he, taking his hat, and with +a strange look, "my mind will be easy." Exactly as the +clock struck two (there was no doubt an appointment +between the pair) Mr. Frederick Bullock called, and he +and Mr. Osborne walked away together. + + +The Colonel of the --th regiment, in which Messieurs +Dobbin and Osborne had companies, was an old General +who had made his first campaign under Wolfe at Quebec, +and was long since quite too old and feeble for command; +but he took some interest in the regiment of which +he was the nominal head, and made certain of his young +officers welcome at his table, a kind of hospitality +which I believe is not now common amongst his +brethren. Captain Dobbin was an especial favourite +of this old General. Dobbin was versed in the literature +of his profession, and could talk about the great Frederick, +and the Empress Queen, and their wars, almost as well +as the General himself, who was indifferent to the triumphs +of the present day, and whose heart was with the +tacticians of fifty years back. This officer sent a summons +to Dobbin to come and breakfast with him, on the +morning when Mr. Osborne altered his will and Mr. Chopper +put on his best shirt frill, and then informed his young +favourite, a couple of days in advance, of that which they +were all expecting--a marching order to go to Belgium. +The order for the regiment to hold itself in readiness +would leave the Horse Guards in a day or two; and as +transports were in plenty, they would get their route +before the week was over. Recruits had come in during +the stay of the regiment at Chatham; and the old General +hoped that the regiment which had helped to beat +Montcalm in Canada, and to rout Mr. Washington on +Long Island, would prove itself worthy of its historical +reputation on the oft-trodden battle-grounds of the Low +Countries. "And so, my good friend, if you have any +affaire la, said the old General, taking a pinch of snuff +with his trembling white old hand, and then pointing to +the spot of his robe de chambre under which his heart +was still feebly beating, "if you have any Phillis to console, +or to bid farewell to papa and mamma, or any will +to make, I recommend you to set about your business +without delay." With which the General gave his young +friend a finger to shake, and a good-natured nod of his +powdered and pigtailed head; and the door being closed +upon Dobbin, sate down to pen a poulet (he was +exceedingly vain of his French) to Mademoiselle +Amenaide of His Majesty's Theatre. + +This news made Dobbin grave, and he thought of our +friends at Brighton, and then he was ashamed of himself +that Amelia was always the first thing in his thoughts +(always before anybody--before father and mother, +sisters and duty--always at waking and sleeping indeed, +and all day long); and returning to his hotel, he sent off a +brief note to Mr. Osborne acquainting him with the +information which he had received, and which might tend +farther, he hoped, to bring about a reconciliation with +George. + +This note, despatched by the same messenger who had +carried the invitation to Chopper on the previous day, +alarmed the worthy clerk not a little. It was inclosed to +him, and as he opened the letter he trembled lest the +dinner should be put off on which he was calculating. His +mind was inexpressibly relieved when he found that the +envelope was only a reminder for himself. ("I shall +expect you at half-past five," Captain Dobbin wrote.) He was +very much interested about his employer's family; but, +que voulez-vous? a grand dinner was of more concern to +him than the affairs of any other mortal. + +Dobbin was quite justified in repeating the General's +information to any officers of the regiment whom he +should see in the course of his peregrinations; accordingly +he imparted it to Ensign Stubble, whom he met at the +agent's, and who--such was his military ardour--went +off instantly to purchase a new sword at the +accoutrement-maker's. Here this young fellow, who, +though only seventeen years of age, and about sixty-five +inches high, with a constitution naturally rickety and +much impaired by premature brandy and water, had an +undoubted courage and a lion's heart, poised, tried, bent, +and balanced a weapon such as he thought would do execution amongst Frenchmen. Shouting "Ha, ha!" and stamping his little +feet with tremendous energy, he delivered the point twice +or thrice at Captain Dobbin, who parried the thrust +laughingly with his bamboo walking-stick. + +Mr. Stubble, as may be supposed from his size and +slenderness, was of the Light Bobs. Ensign Spooney, on +the contrary, was a tall youth, and belonged to (Captain +Dobbin's) the Grenadier Company, and he tried on a new +bearskin cap, under which he looked savage beyond his +years. Then these two lads went off to the Slaughters', and +having ordered a famous dinner, sate down and wrote off +letters to the kind anxious parents at home--letters full of +love and heartiness, and pluck and bad spelling. Ah! there +were many anxious hearts beating through England at +that time; and mothers' prayers and tears flowing in many +homesteads. + +Seeing young Stubble engaged in composition at one of +the coffee-room tables at the Slaughters', and the tears +trickling down his nose on to the paper (for the youngster +was thinking of his mamma, and that he might never see +her again), Dobbin, who was going to write off a letter to +George Osborne, relented, and locked up his desk. "Why +should I?" said he. "Let her have this night happy. I'll go +and see my parents early in the morning, and go down to +Brighton myself to-morrow." + +So he went up and laid his big hand on young Stubble's +shoulder, and backed up that young champion, and told +him if he would leave off brandy and water he would +be a good soldier, as he always was a gentlemanly good- +hearted fellow. Young Stubble's eyes brightened up at this, +for Dobbin was greatly respected in the regiment, as the +best officer and the cleverest man in it. + +"Thank you, Dobbin," he said, rubbing his eyes with +his knuckles, "I was just--just telling her I would. And, +O Sir, she's so dam kind to me." The water pumps were +at work again, and I am not sure that the soft-hearted +Captain's eyes did not also twinkle. + +The two ensigns, the Captain, and Mr. Chopper, dined +together in the same box. Chopper brought the letter from +Mr. Osborne, in which the latter briefly presented his +compliments to Captain Dobbin, and requested him to +forward the inclosed to Captain George Osborne. Chopper +knew nothing further; he described Mr. Osborne's appearance, +it is true, and his interview with his lawyer, wondered +how the governor had sworn at nobody, and--especially +as the wine circled round--abounded in speculations +and conjectures. But these grew more vague with +every glass, and at length became perfectly unintelligible. +At a late hour Captain Dobbin put his guest into a hackney +coach, in a hiccupping state, and swearing that he would +be the kick--the kick--Captain's friend for ever and ever. + +When Captain Dobbin took leave of Miss Osborne we +have said that he asked leave to come and pay her +another visit, and the spinster expected him for some hours +the next day, when, perhaps, had he come, and had he +asked her that question which she was prepared to answer, +she would have declared herself as her brother's +friend, and a reconciliation might have been effected +between George and his angry father. But though she waited +at home the Captain never came. He had his own affairs +to pursue; his own parents to visit and console; and at an +early hour of the day to take his place on the Lightning +coach, and go down to his friends at Brighton. In the +course of the day Miss Osborne heard her father give +orders that that meddling scoundrel, Captain Dobbin, +should never be admitted within his doors again, and any +hopes in which she may have indulged privately were thus +abruptly brought to an end. Mr. Frederick Bullock came, +and was particularly affectionate to Maria, and attentive +to the broken-spirited old gentleman. For though he said +his mind would be easy, the means which he had taken to +secure quiet did not seem to have succeeded as yet, and +the events of the past two days had visibly shattered him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV + + + +In Which All the Principal Personages Think Fit +to Leave Brighton + +Conducted to the ladies, at the Ship Inn, Dobbin assumed +a jovial and rattling manner, which proved that this +young officer was becoming a more consummate hypocrite +every day of his life. He was trying to hide his own +private feelings, first upon seeing Mrs. George Osborne +in her new condition, and secondly to mask the +apprehensions he entertained as to the effect which +the dismal news brought down by him would certainly +have upon her. + +"It is my opinion, George," he said, "that the French +Emperor will be upon us, horse and foot, before three +weeks are over, and will give the Duke such a dance as +shall make the Peninsula appear mere child's play. But +you need not say that to Mrs. Osborne, you know. There +mayn't be any fighting on our side after all, and our +business in Belgium may turn out to be a mere military +occupation. Many persons think so; and Brussels is full +of fine people and ladies of fashion." So it was agreed to +represent the duty of the British army in Belgium in this +harmless light to Amelia. + +This plot being arranged, the hypocritical Dobbin saluted +Mrs. George Osborne quite gaily, tried to pay her +one or two compliments relative to her new position as a +bride (which compliments, it must be confessed, were +exceedingly clumsy and hung fire woefully), and then fell +to talking about Brighton, and the sea-air, and the gaieties +of the place, and the beauties of the road and the merits +of the Lightning coach and horses--all in a manner +quite incomprehensible to Amelia, and very amusing to +Rebecca, who was watching the Captain, as indeed she +watched every one near whom she came. + +Little Amelia, it must be owned, had rather a mean +opinion of her husband's friend, Captain Dobbin. He lisped +--he was very plain and homely-looking: and exceedingly +awkward and ungainly. She liked him for his attachment +to her husband (to be sure there was very little merit in +that), and she thought George was most generous and +kind in extending his friendship to his brother officer. +George had mimicked Dobbin's lisp and queer manners +many times to her, though to do him justice, he always +spoke most highly of his friend's good qualities. In her +little day of triumph, and not knowing him intimately as +yet, she made light of honest William--and he knew her +opinions of him quite well, and acquiesced in them very +humbly. A time came when she knew him better, and +changed her notions regarding him; but that was distant as +yet. + +As for Rebecca, Captain Dobbin had not been two hours +in the ladies' company before she understood his secret +perfectly. She did not like him, and feared him privately; +nor was he very much prepossessed in her favour. He +was so honest, that her arts and cajoleries did not affect +him, and he shrank from her with instinctive repulsion. +And, as she was by no means so far superior to her sex as +to be above jealousy, she disliked him the more for his +adoration of Amelia. Nevertheless, she was very respectful +and cordial in her manner towards him. A friend to +the Osbornes! a friend to her dearest benefactors! She +vowed she should always love him sincerely: she remembered +him quite well on the Vauxhall night, as she told +Amelia archly, and she made a little fun of him when the +two ladies went to dress for dinner. Rawdon Crawley paid +scarcely any attention to Dobbin, looking upon him as a +good-natured nincompoop and under-bred City man. Jos +patronised him with much dignity. + +When George and Dobbin were alone in the latter's +room, to which George had followed him, Dobbin took +from his desk the letter which he had been charged by +Mr. Osborne to deliver to his son. "It's not in my father's +handwriting," said George, looking rather alarmed; nor +was it: the letter was from Mr. Osborne's lawyer, and to +the following effect: + +Bedford Row, May 7, 1815. + +SIR, + +I am commissioned by Mr. Osborne to inform you, +that he abides by the determination which he before +expressed to you, and that in consequence of the marriage +which you have been pleased to contract, he ceases to +consider you henceforth as a member of his family. +This determination is final and irrevocable. + +Although the monies expended upon you in your +minority, and the bills which you have drawn upon +him so unsparingly of late years, far exceed in amount +the sum to which you are entitled in your own right +(being the third part of the fortune of your mother, +the late Mrs. Osborne and which reverted to you at her +decease, and to Miss Jane Osborne and Miss Maria +Frances Osborne); yet I am instructed by Mr. Osborne +to say, that he waives all claim upon your estate, and +that the sum of 2,0001., 4 per cent. annuities, at the +value of the day (being your one-third share of the sum +of 6,0001.), shall be paid over to yourself or your agents +upon your receipt for the same, by + +Your obedient Servt., + +S. HIGGS. + +P.S.--Mr. Osborne desires me to say, once for all, +that he declines to receive any messages, letters, or +communications from you on this or any other subject. + +"A pretty way you have managed the affair," said +George, looking savagely at William Dobbin. "Look there, +Dobbin," and he flung over to the latter his parent's letter. +"A beggar, by Jove, and all in consequence of my d--d +sentimentality. Why couldn't we have waited? A ball might +have done for me in the course of the war, and may still, +and how will Emmy be bettered by being left a beggar's +widow? It was all your doing. You were never easy until +you had got me married and ruined. What the deuce am +I to do with two thousand pounds? Such a sum won't +last two years. I've lost a hundred and forty to Crawley at +cards and billiards since I've been down here. A pretty +manager of a man's matters YOU are, forsooth." + +"There's no denying that the position is a hard one," +Dobbin replied, after reading over the letter with a blank +countenance; "and as you say, it is partly of my making. +There are some men who wouldn't mind changing with +you," he added, with a bitter smile. "How many captains +in the regiment have two thousand pounds to the fore, +think you? You must live on your pay till your father +relents, and if you die, you leave your wife a hundred a +year." + +"Do you suppose a man of my habits call live on his +pay and a hundred a year?" George cried out in great +anger. "You must be a fool to talk so, Dobbin. How the +deuce am I to keep up my position in the world upon +such a pitiful pittance? I can't change my habits. I must +have my comforts. I wasn't brought up on porridge, like +MacWhirter, or on potatoes, like old O'Dowd. Do you +expect my wife to take in soldiers' washing, or ride after +the regiment in a baggage waggon?" + +"Well, well," said Dobbin, still good-naturedly, "we'll +get her a better conveyance. But try and remember that +you are only a dethroned prince now, George, my boy; +and be quiet whilst the tempest lasts. It won't be for +long. Let your name be mentioned in the Gazette, and +I'll engage the old father relents towards you:" + +"Mentioned in the Gazette!" George answered. "And in +what part of it? Among the killed and wounded returns, +and at the top of the list, very likely." + +"Psha! It will be time enough to cry out when we are +hurt," Dobbin said. "And if anything happens, you know, +George, I have got a little, and I am not a marrying +man, and I shall not forget my godson in my will," he +added, with a smile. Whereupon the dispute ended--as +many scores of such conversations between Osborne +and his friend had concluded previously--by the former +declaring there was no possibility of being angry with +Dobbin long, and forgiving him very generously after +abusing him without cause. + +"I say, Becky," cried Rawdon Crawley out of his +dressing-room, to his lady, who was attiring herself for +dinner in her own chamber. + +"What?" said Becky's shrill voice. She was looking +over her shoulder in the glass. She had put on the neatest +and freshest white frock imaginable, and with bare +shoulders and a little necklace, and a light blue sash, she +looked the image of youthful innocence and girlish +happiness. + +"I say, what'll Mrs. O. do, when 0. goes out with the +regiment?" Crawley said coming into the room, performing +a duet on his head with two huge hair-brushes, and +looking out from under his hair with admiration on his +pretty little wife. + +"I suppose she'll cry her eyes out," Becky answered. +"She has been whimpering half a dozen times, at the +very notion of it, already to me." + +"YOU don't care, I suppose?" Rawdon said, half angry +at his wife's want of feeling. + +"You wretch! don't you know that I intend to go with +you," Becky replied. "Besides, you're different. You go +as General Tufto's aide-de-camp. We don't belong to the +line," Mrs. Crawley said, throwing up her head with an +air that so enchanted her husband that he stooped down +and kissed it. + +"Rawdon dear--don't you think--you'd better get that +--money from Cupid, before he goes?" Becky continued, +fixing on a killing bow. She called George Osborne, +Cupid. She had flattered him about his good looks a +score of times already. She watched over him kindly at +ecarte of a night when he would drop in to Rawdon's +quarters for a half-hour before bed-time. + +She had often called him a horrid dissipated wretch, +and threatened to tell Emmy of his wicked ways and +naughty extravagant habits. She brought his cigar and +lighted it for him; she knew the effect of that manoeuvre, +having practised it in former days upon Rawdon Crawley. +He thought her gay, brisk, arch, distinguee, delightful. +In their little drives and dinners, Becky, of course, +quite outshone poor Emmy, who remained very mute +and timid while Mrs. Crawley and her husband rattled +away together, and Captain Crawley (and Jos after he +joined the young married people) gobbled in silence. + +Emmy's mind somehow misgave her about her friend. +Rebecca's wit, spirits, and accomplishments troubled her +with a rueful disquiet. They were only a week married, +and here was George already suffering ennui, and eager +for others' society! She trembled for the future. How +shall I be a companion for him, she thought--so clever +and so brilliant, and I such a humble foolish creature? +How noble it was of him to marry me--to give up everything +and stoop down to me! I ought to have refused +him, only I had not the heart. I ought to have stopped at +home and taken care of poor Papa. And her neglect of +her parents (and indeed there was some foundation for +this charge which the poor child's uneasy conscience +brought against her) was now remembered for the first +time, and caused her to blush with humiliation. Oh! +thought she, I have been very wicked and selfish--selfish +in forgetting them in their sorrows--selfish in forcing +George to marry me. I know I'm not worthy of him--I +know he would have been happy without me--and yet-- +I tried, I tried to give him up. + +It is hard when, before seven days of marriage are +over, such thoughts and confessions as these force +themselves on a little bride's mind. But so it was, and the +night before Dobbin came to join these young people-- +on a fine brilliant moonlight night of May--so warm +and balmy that the windows were flung open to the balcony, +from which George and Mrs. Crawley were gazing upon +the calm ocean spread shining before them, +while Rawdon and Jos were engaged at backgammon +within--Amelia couched in a great chair quite neglected, and +watching both these parties, felt a despair and remorse +such as were bitter companions for that tender lonely +soul. Scarce a week was past, and it was come to this! +The future, had she regarded it, offered a dismal prospect; +but Emmy was too shy, so to speak, to look to that, +and embark alone on that wide sea, and unfit to navigate +it without a guide and protector. I know Miss Smith has +a mean opinion of her. But how many, my dear Madam, +are endowed with your prodigious strength of mind? + +"Gad, what a fine night, and how bright the moon is!" +George said, with a puff of his cigar, which went soaring +up skywards. + +"How delicious they smell in the open air! I adore +them. Who'd think the moon was two hundred and thirty- +six thousand eight hundred and forty-seven miles off?" +Becky added, gazing at that orb with a smile. "Isn't it +clever of me to remember that? Pooh! we learned it all +at Miss Pinkerton's! How calm the sea is, and how clear +everything. I declare I can almost see the coast of +France!" and her bright green eyes streamed out, and +shot into the night as if they could see through it. + +"Do you know what I intend to do one morning?" she +said; "I find I can swim beautifully, and some day, when +my Aunt Crawley's companion--old Briggs, you know +--you remember her--that hook-nosed woman, with the +long wisps of hair--when Briggs goes out to bathe, I +intend to dive under her awning, and insist on a +reconciliation in the water. Isn't that a stratagem?" + +George burst out laughing at the idea of this aquatic +meeting. "What's the row there, you two?" Rawdon +shouted out, rattling the box. Amelia was making a fool +of herself in an absurd hysterical manner, and retired +to her own room to whimper in private. + +Our history is destined in this chapter to go backwards +and forwards in a very irresolute manner seemingly, and +having conducted our story to to-morrow presently, we +shall immediately again have occasion to step back to +yesterday, so that the whole of the tale may get a hearing. +As you behold at her Majesty's drawing-room, the +ambassadors' and high dignitaries' carriages whisk off +from a private door, while Captain Jones's ladies are waiting +for their fly: as you see in the Secretary of the Treasury's antechamber, a half-dozen of petitioners waiting +patiently for their audience, and called out one by one, +when suddenly an Irish member or some eminent personage +enters the apartment, and instantly walks into Mr. +Under-Secretary over the heads of all the people present: +so in the conduct of a tale, the romancer is obliged to +exercise this most partial sort of justice. Although all the +little incidents must be heard, yet they must be put off +when the great events make their appearance; and surely +such a circumstance as that which brought Dobbin to +Brighton, viz., the ordering out of the Guards and the line +to Belgium, and the mustering of the allied armies in that +country under the command of his Grace the Duke of +Wellington--such a dignified circumstance as that, I say, +was entitled to the pas over all minor occurrences whereof +this history is composed mainly, and hence a little +trifling disarrangement and disorder was excusable and +becoming. We have only now advanced in time so far +beyond Chapter XXII as to have got our various characters +up into their dressing-rooms before the dinner, +which took place as usual on the day of Dobbin's arrival. + +George was too humane or too much occupied with the +tie of his neckcloth to convey at once all the news to +Amelia which his comrade had brought with him from +London. He came into her room, however, holding the +attorney's letter in his hand, and with so solemn and +important an air that his wife, always ingeniously on +the watch for calamity, thought the worst was about to +befall, and running up to her husband, besought her +dearest George to tell her everything--he was ordered +abroad; there would be a battle next week--she knew +there would. + +Dearest George parried the question about foreign +service, and with a melancholy shake of the head said, +"No, Emmy; it isn't that: it's not myself I care about: +it's you. I have had bad news from my father. He refuses +any communication with me; he has flung us off; and +leaves us to poverty. I can rough it well enough; but +you, my dear, how will you bear it? read here." And he +handed her over the letter. + +Amelia, with a look of tender alarm in her eyes, +listened to her noble hero as he uttered the above generous +sentiments, and sitting down on the bed, read the letter +which George gave her with such a pompous martyr-like +air. Her face cleared up as she read the document, however. +The idea of sharing poverty and privation in company +with the beloved object is, as we have before said, +far from being disagreeable to a warm-hearted woman. +The notion was actually pleasant to little Amelia. Then, +as usual, she was ashamed of herself for feeling happy at +such an indecorous moment, and checked her pleasure, +saying demurely, "O, George, how your poor heart must +bleed at the idea of being separated from your papa!" + +"It does," said George, with an agonised countenance. + +"But he can't be angry with you long," she continued. +"Nobody could, I'm sure. He must forgive you, my +dearest, kindest husband. O, I shall never forgive myself +if he does not." + +"What vexes me, my poor Emmy, is not my misfortune, +but yours," George said. "I don't care for a little +poverty; and I think, without vanity, I've talents enough +to make my own way." + +"That you have," interposed his wife, who thought that +war should cease, and her husband should be made a +general instantly. + +"Yes, I shall make my way as well as another," Osborne +went on; "but you, my dear girl, how can I bear +your being deprived of the comforts and station in +society which my wife had a right to expect? My dearest +girl in barracks; the wife of a soldier in a marching +regiment; subject to all sorts of annoyance and privation! +It makes me miserable." + +Emmy, quite at ease, as this was her husband's only +cause of disquiet, took his hand, and with a radiant face +and smile began to warble that stanza from the favourite +song of "Wapping Old Stairs," in which the heroine, after +rebuking her Tom for inattention, promises "his trousers +to mend, and his grog too to make," if he will be constant +and kind, and not forsake her. "Besides," she said, +after a pause, during which she looked as pretty and +happy as any young woman need, "isn't two thousand +pounds an immense deal of money, George?" + +George laughed at her naivete; and finally they went +down to dinner, Amelia clinging to George's arm, still +warbling the tune of "Wapping Old Stairs," and more +pleased and light of mind than she had been for some +days past. + +Thus the repast, which at length came off, instead of +being dismal, was an exceedingly brisk and merry one. +The excitement of the campaign counteracted in George's +mind the depression occasioned by the disinheriting letter. +Dobbin still kept up his character of rattle. He amused +the company with accounts of the army in Belgium; +where nothing but fetes and gaiety and fashion were +going on. Then, having a particular end in view, this +dexterous captain proceeded to describe Mrs. Major +O'Dowd packing her own and her Major's wardrobe, and +how his best epaulets had been stowed into a tea canister, +whilst her own famous yellow turban, with the bird of +paradise wrapped in brown paper, was locked up in the +Major's tin cocked-hat case, and wondered what effect +it would have at the French king's court at Ghent, or the +great military balls at Brussels. + +"Ghent! Brussels!" cried out Amelia with a sudden +shock and start. "Is the regiment ordered away, George +--is it ordered away?" A look of terror came over the +sweet smiling face, and she clung to George as by an +instinct. + +"Don't be afraid, dear," he said good-naturedly; "it +is but a twelve hours' passage. It won't hurt you. You +shall go, too, Emmy." + +"I intend to go," said Becky. "I'm on the staff. General +Tufto is a great flirt of mine. Isn't he, Rawdon?" +Rawdon laughed out with his usual roar. William +Dobbin flushed up quite red. "She can't go," he said; "think +of the--of the danger," he was going to add; but had +not all his conversation during dinner-time tended to +prove there was none? He became very confused and +silent. + +"I must and will go," Amelia cried with the greatest +spirit; and George, applauding her resolution, patted her +under the chin, and asked all the persons present if +they ever saw such a termagant of a wife, and agreed +that the lady should bear him company. "We'll have +Mrs. O'Dowd to chaperon you," he said. What cared she +so long as her husband was near her? Thus somehow +the bitterness of a parting was juggled away. Though war +and danger were in store, war and danger might not +befall for months to come. There was a respite at any rate, +which made the timid little Amelia almost as happy as +a full reprieve would have done, and which even Dobbin +owned in his heart was very welcome. For, to be permitted +to see her was now the greatest privilege and hope +of his life, and he thought with himself secretly how he +would watch and protect her. I wouldn't have let her go +if I had been married to her, he thought. But George was +the master, and his friend did not think fit to remonstrate. + +Putting her arm round her friend's waist, Rebecca at +length carried Amelia off from the dinner-table where so +much business of importance had been discussed, and +left the gentlemen in a highly exhilarated state, drinking +and talking very gaily. + +In the course of the evening Rawdon got a little family- +note from his wife, which, although he crumpled it up +and burnt it instantly in the candle, we had the good +luck to read over Rebecca's shoulder. "Great news," she +wrote. "Mrs. Bute is gone. Get the money from Cupid tonight, +as he'll be off to-morrow most likely. Mind this. +--R." So when the little company was about adjourning +to coffee in the women's apartment, Rawdon touched +Osborne on the elbow, and said gracefully, "I say, Osborne, +my boy, if quite convenient, I'll trouble you for +that 'ere small trifle." It was not quite convenient, but +nevertheless George gave him a considerable present +instalment in bank-notes from his pocket-book, and a bill +on his agents at a week's date, for the remaining sum. + +This matter arranged, George, and Jos, and Dobbin, +held a council of war over their cigars, and agreed that a +general move should be made for London in Jos's open +carriage the next day. Jos, I think, would have preferred +staying until Rawdon Crawley quitted Brighton, but Dobbin +and George overruled him, and he agreed to carry +the party to town, and ordered four horses, as became his +dignity. With these they set off in state, after breakfast, +the next day. Amelia had risen very early in the morning, +and packed her little trunks with the greatest alacrity, +while Osborne lay in bed deploring that she had not a +maid to help her. She was only too glad, however, to +perform this office for herself. A dim uneasy sentiment +about Rebecca filled her mind already; and although they +kissed each other most tenderly at parting, yet we know +what jealousy is; and Mrs. Amelia possessed that among +other virtues of her sex. + +Besides these characters who are coming and going +away, we must remember that there were some other old +friends of ours at Brighton; Miss Crawley, namely, and +the suite in attendance upon her. Now, although Rebecca +and her husband were but at a few stones' throw of the +lodgings which the invalid Miss Crawley occupied, the +old lady's door remained as pitilessly closed to them as it +had been heretofore in London. As long as she remained +by the side of her sister-in-law, Mrs. Bute Crawley took +care that her beloved Matilda should not be agitated by a +meeting with her nephew. When the spinster took her +drive, the faithful Mrs. Bute sate beside her in the carriage. +When Miss Crawley took the air in a chair, Mrs. +Bute marched on one side of the vehicle, whilst honest +Briggs occupied the other wing. And if they met Rawdon +and his wife by chance--although the former constantly +and obsequiously took off his hat, the Miss-Crawley party +passed him by with such a frigid and killing indifference, +that Rawdon began to despair. + +"We might as well be in London as here," Captain +Rawdon often said, with a downcast air. + +"A comfortable inn in Brighton is better than a +spunging-house in Chancery Lane," his wife answered, who was +of a more cheerful temperament. "Think of those two +aides-de-camp of Mr. Moses, the sheriff's-officer, who +watched our lodging for a week. Our friends here are +very stupid, but Mr. Jos and Captain Cupid are better +companions than Mr. Moses's men, Rawdon, my love." + +"I wonder the writs haven't followed me down here," +Rawdon continued, still desponding. + +"When they do, we'll find means to give them the slip," +said dauntless little Becky, and further pointed out to her +husband the great comfort and advantage of meeting +Jos and Osborne, whose acquaintance had brought to +Rawdon Crawley a most timely little supply of ready +money. + +"It will hardly be enough to pay the inn bill," grumbled +the Guardsman. + +"Why need we pay it?" said the lady, who had an answer +for everything. + +Through Rawdon's valet, who still kept up a trifling +acquaintance with the male inhabitants of Miss Crawley's +servants' hall, and was instructed to treat the coachman +to drink whenever they met, old Miss Crawley's movements +were pretty well known by our young couple; and +Rebecca luckily bethought herself of being unwell, and of +calling in the same apothecary who was in attendance +upon the spinster, so that their information was on the +whole tolerably complete. Nor was Miss Briggs, although +forced to adopt a hostile attitude, secretly inimical to +Rawdon and his wife. She was naturally of a kindly and +forgiving disposition. Now that the cause of jealousy was +removed, her dislike for Rebecca disappeared also, and +she remembered the latter's invariable good words +and good humour. And, indeed, she and Mrs. +Firkin, the lady's-maid, and the whole of Miss Crawley's +household, groaned under the tyranny of the +triumphant Mrs. Bute. + +As often will be the case, that good but imperious +woman pushed her advantages too far, and her successes +quite unmercifully. She had in the course of a few weeks +brought the invalid to such a state of helpless docility, +that the poor soul yielded herself entirely to her sister's +orders, and did not even dare to complain of her slavery +to Briggs or Firkin. Mrs. Bute measured out the glasses +of wine which Miss Crawley was daily allowed to take, +with irresistible accuracy, greatly to the annoyance of +Firkin and the butler, who found themselves deprived of +control over even the sherry-bottle. She apportioned the +sweetbreads, jellies, chickens; their quantity and order. +Night and noon and morning she brought the abominable +drinks ordained by the Doctor, and made her patient +swallow them with so affecting an obedience that Firkin +said "my poor Missus du take her physic like a lamb." She +prescribed the drive in the carriage or the ride in the +chair, and, in a word, ground down the old lady in her +convalescence in such a way as only belongs to your +proper-managing, motherly moral woman. If ever the +patient faintly resisted, and pleaded for a little bit more +dinner or a little drop less medicine, the nurse threatened +her with instantaneous death, when Miss Crawley +instantly gave in. "She's no spirit left in her," Firkin +remarked to Briggs; "she ain't ave called me a fool these +three weeks." Finally, Mrs. Bute had made up her mind +to dismiss the aforesaid honest lady's-maid, Mr. Bowls +the large confidential man, and Briggs herself, and to +send for her daughters from the Rectory, previous to +removing the dear invalid bodily to Queen's Crawley, when +an odious accident happened which called her away from +duties so pleasing. The Reverend Bute Crawley, her +husband, riding home one night, fell with his horse and +broke his collar-bone. Fever and inflammatory symptoms +set in, and Mrs. Bute was forced to leave Sussex for +Hampshire. As soon as ever Bute was restored, she +promised to return to her dearest friend, and departed, +leaving the strongest injunctions with the household +regarding their behaviour to their mistress; and as soon as +she got into the Southampton coach, there was such a +jubilee and sense of relief in all Miss Crawley's house, +as the company of persons assembled there had not +experienced for many a week before. That very day Miss +Crawley left off her afternoon dose of medicine: that +afternoon Bowls opened an independent bottle of sherry +for himself and Mrs. Firkin: that night Miss Crawley +and Miss Briggs indulged in a game of piquet instead +of one of Porteus's sermons. It was as in the old nursery- +story, when the stick forgot to beat the dog, and the +whole course of events underwent a peaceful and happy +revolution. + +At a very early hour in the morning, twice or thrice a +week, Miss Briggs used to betake herself to a bathing- +machine, and disport in the water in a flannel gown and +an oilskin cap. Rebecca, as we have seen, was aware of +this circumstance, and though she did not attempt to +storm Briggs as she had threatened, and actually dive +into that lady's presence and surprise her under the +sacredness of the awning, Mrs. Rawdon determined to +attack Briggs as she came away from her bath, refreshed +and invigorated by her dip, and likely to be in good +humour. + +So getting up very early the next morning, Becky +brought the telescope in their sitting-room, which faced +the sea, to bear upon the bathing-machines on the beach; +saw Briggs arrive, enter her box; and put out to sea; +and was on the shore just as the nymph of whom she +came in quest stepped out of the little caravan on to the +shingles. It was a pretty picture: the beach; the bathing- +women's faces; the long line of rocks and building were +blushing and bright in the sunshine. Rebecca wore a kind, +tender smile on her face, and was holding out her pretty +white hand as Briggs emerged from the box. What could +Briggs do but accept the salutation? + +"Miss Sh--Mrs. Crawley," she said. + +Mrs. Crawley seized her hand, pressed it to her heart, +and with a sudden impulse, flinging her arms round +Briggs, kissed her affectionately. "Dear, dear friend!" she +said, with a touch of such natural feeling, that Miss +Briggs of course at once began to melt, and even the +bathing-woman was mollified. + +Rebecca found no difficulty in engaging Briggs in a long, +intimate, and delightful conversation. Everything that had +passed since the morning of Becky's sudden departure +from Miss Crawley's house in Park Lane up to the present +day, and Mrs. Bute's happy retreat, was discussed and +described by Briggs. All Miss Crawley's symptoms, and +the particulars of her illness and medical treatment, were +narrated by the confidante with that fulness and +accuracy which women delight in. About their complaints +and their doctors do ladies ever tire of talking to each +other? Briggs did not on this occasion; nor did Rebecca +weary of listening. She was thankful, truly thankful, that +the dear kind Briggs, that the faithful, the invaluable +Firkin, had been permitted to remain with their benefactress +through her illness. Heaven bless her! though she, +Rebecca, had seemed to act undutifully towards Miss +Crawley; yet was not her fault a natural and excusable one? +Could she help giving her hand to the man who had won +her heart? Briggs, the sentimental, could only turn up +her eyes to heaven at this appeal, and heave a +sympathetic sigh, and think that she, too, had given +away her affections long years ago, and own that Rebecca +was no very great criminal. + +"Can I ever forget her who so befriended the friendless +orphan? No, though she has cast me off," the latter +said, "I shall never cease to love her, and I would devote +my life to her service. As my own benefactress, as my +beloved Rawdon's adored relative, I love and admire Miss +Crawley, dear Miss Briggs, beyond any woman in the +world, and next to her I love all those who are faithful +to her. I would never have treated Miss Crawley's +faithful friends as that odious designing Mrs. Bute has +done. Rawdon, who was all heart," Rebecca continued, +"although his outward manners might seem rough and +careless, had said a hundred times, with tears in his eyes, +that he blessed Heaven for sending his dearest Aunty two +such admirable nurses as her attached Firkin and her +admirable Miss Briggs. Should the machinations of the +horrible Mrs. Bute end, as she too much feared they would, +in banishing everybody that Miss Crawley loved from her +side, and leaving that poor lady a victim to those harpies +at the Rectory, Rebecca besought her (Miss Briggs) to +remember that her own home, humble as it was, was +always open to receive Briggs. Dear friend," she +exclaimed, in a transport of enthusiasm, "some hearts +can never forget benefits; all women are not Bute +Crawleys! Though why should I complain of her," Rebecca +added; "though I have been her tool and the victim to her +arts, do I not owe my dearest Rawdon to her?" And +Rebecca unfolded to Briggs all Mrs. Bute's conduct at +Queen's Crawley, which, though unintelligible to her then, +was clearly enough explained by the events now--now +that the attachment had sprung up which Mrs. Bute had +encouraged by a thousand artifices--now that two +innocent people had fallen into the snares which she had +laid for them, and loved and married and been ruined +through her schemes. + +It was all very true. Briggs saw the stratagems as +clearly as possible. Mrs. Bute had made the match +between Rawdon and Rebecca. Yet, though the latter was a +perfectly innocent victim, Miss Briggs could not disguise +from her friend her fear that Miss Crawley's affections +were hopelessly estranged from Rebecca, and that the old +lady would never forgive her nephew for making so +imprudent a marriage. + +On this point Rebecca had her own opinion, and +still kept up a good heart. If Miss Crawley did not +forgive them at present, she might at least relent on a +future day. Even now, there was only that puling, sickly +Pitt Crawley between Rawdon and a baronetcy; and should +anything happen to the former, all would be well. At all +events, to have Mrs. Bute's designs exposed, and herself +well abused, was a satisfaction, and might be advantageous +to Rawdon's interest; and Rebecca, after an hour's +chat with her recovered friend, left her with the most +tender demonstrations of regard, and quite assured that +the conversation they had had together would be +reported to Miss Crawley before many hours were over. + +This interview ended, it became full time for Rebecca +to return to her inn, where all the party of the previous +day were assembled at a farewell breakfast. Rebecca took +such a tender leave of Amelia as became two women who +loved each other as sisters; and having used her handkerchief plentifully, and hung on her friend's neck as if they +were parting for ever, and waved the handkerchief +(which was quite dry, by the way) out of window, as the +carriage drove off, she came back to the breakfast table, +and ate some prawns with a good deal of appetite, +considering her emotion; and while she was munching these +delicacies, explained to Rawdon what had occurred in her +morning walk between herself and Briggs. Her hopes +were very high: she made her husband share them. She +generally succeeded in making her husband share all her +opinions, whether melancholy or cheerful. + +"You will now, if you please, my dear, sit down at the +writing-table and pen me a pretty little letter to Miss +Crawley, in which you'll say that you are a good boy, +and that sort of thing." So Rawdon sate down, and wrote +off, "Brighton, Thursday," and "My dear Aunt," with +great rapidity: but there the gallant officer's imagination +failed him. He mumbled the end of his pen, and looked +up in his wife's face. She could not help laughing at his +rueful countenance, and marching up and down the room +with her hands behind her, the little woman began to +dictate a letter, which he took down. + +"Before quitting the country and commencing a campaign, +which very possibly may be fatal." + +"What?" said Rawdon, rather surprised, but took the +humour of the phrase, and presently wrote it down with +a grin. + +"Which very possibly may be fatal, I have come +hither--" + +"Why not say come here, Becky? Come here's grammar," +the dragoon interposed. + +"I have come hither," Rebecca insisted, with a stamp +of her foot, "to say farewell to my dearest and earliest +friend. I beseech you before I go, not perhaps to +return, once more to let me press the hand from which +I have received nothing but kindnesses all my life." + +"Kindnesses all my life," echoed Rawdon, scratching +down the words, and quite amazed at his own facility of +composition. + +"I ask nothing from you but that we should part not in +anger. I have the pride of my family on some points, +though not on all. I married a painter's daughter, and am +not ashamed of the union." + +"No, run me through the body if I am!" Rawdon ejaculated. + +"You old booby," Rebecca said, pinching his ear and +looking over to see that he made no mistakes in spelling +--"beseech is not spelt with an a, and earliest is." So he +altered these words, bowing to the superior knowledge of +his little Missis. + +"I thought that you were aware of the progress of my +attachment," Rebecca continued: "I knew that Mrs. Bute +Crawley confirmed and encouraged it. But I make no +reproaches. I married a poor woman, and am content to +abide by what I have done. Leave your property, dear +Aunt, as you will. I shall never complain of the way in +which you dispose of it. I would have you believe that I +love you for yourself, and not for money's sake. I want to +be reconciled to you ere I leave England. Let me, let +me see you before I go. A few weeks or months hence it +may be too late, and I cannot bear the notion of quitting +the country without a kind word of farewell from you." + +"She won't recognise my style in that," said Becky. "I +made the sentences short and brisk on purpose." And +this authentic missive was despatched under cover to Miss +Briggs. + +Old Miss Crawley laughed when Briggs, with great +mystery, handed her over this candid and simple +statement. "We may read it now Mrs. Bute is away," +she said. "Read it to me, Briggs." + +When Briggs had read the epistle out, her patroness +laughed more. "Don't you see, you goose," she said to +Briggs, who professed to be much touched by the honest +affection which pervaded the composition, "don't you +see that Rawdon never wrote a word of it. He never +wrote to me without asking for money in his life, and all +his letters are full of bad spelling, and dashes, and bad +grammar. It is that little serpent of a governess who rules +him." They are all alike, Miss Crawley thought in her +heart. They all want me dead, and are hankering for my +money. + +"I don't mind seeing Rawdon," she added, after a +pause, and in a tone of perfect indifference. "I had just +as soon shake hands with him as not. Provided there is +no scene, why shouldn't we meet? I don't mind. But +human patience has its limits; and mind, my dear, I +respectfully decline to receive Mrs. Rawdon--I can't +support that quite"--and Miss Briggs was fain to be content +with this half-message of conciliation; and thought that +the best method of bringing the old lady and her nephew +together, was to warn Rawdon to be in waiting on the +Cliff, when Miss Crawley went out for her air in her +chair. + +There they met. I don't know whether Miss Crawley +had any private feeling of regard or emotion upon seeing +her old favourite; but she held out a couple of fingers +to him with as smiling and good-humoured an air, as if +they had met only the day before. And as for Rawdon, +he turned as red as scarlet, and wrung off Briggs's hand, +so great was his rapture and his confusion at the meeting. +Perhaps it was interest that moved him: or perhaps +affection: perhaps he was touched by the change which +the illness of the last weeks had wrought in his aunt. + +"The old girl has always acted like a trump to me," he +said to his wife, as he narrated the interview, "and I felt, +you know, rather queer, and that sort of thing. I walked +by the side of the what-dy'e-call-'em, you know, and to +her own door, where Bowls came to help her in. And I +wanted to go in very much, only--" + +"YOU DIDN'T GO IN, Rawdon!" screamed his wife. + +"No, my dear; I'm hanged if I wasn't afraid when it +came to the point." + +"You fool! you ought to have gone in, and never come +out again," Rebecca said. + +"Don't call me names," said the big Guardsman, sulkily. +"Perhaps I WAS a fool, Becky, but you shouldn't say +so"; and he gave his wife a look, such as his countenance +could wear when angered, and such as was not pleasant +to face. + +"Well, dearest, to-morrow you must be on the look-out, +and go and see her, mind, whether she asks you or no," +Rebecca said, trying to soothe her angry yoke-mate. On +which he replied, that he would do exactly as he liked, +and would just thank her to keep a civil tongue in her +head--and the wounded husband went away, and passed +the forenoon at the billiard-room, sulky, silent, and +suspicious. + +But before the night was over he was compelled to +give in, and own, as usual, to his wife's superior prudence +and foresight, by the most melancholy confirmation of the +presentiments which she had regarding the consequences +of the mistake which he had made. Miss Crawley must +have had some emotion upon seeing him and shaking +hands with him after so long a rupture. She mused upon +the meeting a considerable time. "Rawdon is getting very +fat and old, Briggs," she said to her companion. "His +nose has become red, and he is exceedingly coarse in +appearance. His marriage to that woman has hopelessly +vulgarised him. Mrs. Bute always said they drank together; +and I have no doubt they do. Yes: he smelt of gin +abominably. I remarked it. Didn't you?" + +In vain Briggs interposed that Mrs. Bute spoke ill of +everybody: and, as far as a person in her humble position +could judge, was an-- + +"An artful designing woman? Yes, so she is, and she +does speak ill of every one--but I am certain that woman +has made Rawdon drink. All those low people do--" + +"He was very much affected at seeing you, ma'am," the +companion said; "and I am sure, when you remember that +he is going to the field of danger--" + +"How much money has he promised you, Briggs?" the +old spinster cried out, working herself into a nervous +rage--"there now, of course you begin to cry. I hate +scenes. Why am I always to be worried? Go and cry up in +your own room, and send Firkin to me-- no, stop, sit +down and blow your nose, and leave off crying, and write +a letter to Captain Crawley." Poor Briggs went and +placed herself obediently at the writing-book. Its leaves +were blotted all over with relics of the firm, strong, rapid +handwriting of the spinster's late amanuensis, Mrs. Bute +Crawley. + +"Begin 'My dear sir,' or 'Dear sir,' that will be better, +and say you are desired by Miss Crawley--no, by Miss +Crawley's medical man, by Mr. Creamer, to state that +my health is such that all strong emotions would be +dangerous in my present delicate condition--and that I must +decline any family discussions or interviews whatever. +And thank him for coming to Brighton, and so forth, and +beg him not to stay any longer on my account. And, Miss +Briggs, you may add that I wish him a bon voyage, and +that if he will take the trouble to call upon my lawyer's +in Gray's Inn Square, he will find there a communication +for him. Yes, that will do; and that will make him leave +Brighton." The benevolent Briggs penned this sentence +with the utmost satisfaction. + +"To seize upon me the very day after Mrs. Bute was +gone," the old lady prattled on; "it was too indecent. +Briggs, my dear, write to Mrs. Crawley, and say SHE +needn't come back. No--she needn't--and she shan't-- +and I won't be a slave in my own house--and I won't be +starved and choked with poison. They all want to kill me +--all--all"--and with this the lonely old woman burst +into a scream of hysterical tears. + +The last scene of her dismal Vanity Fair comedy was +fast approaching; the tawdry lamps were going out one +by one; and the dark curtain was almost ready to +descend. + +That final paragraph, which referred Rawdon to Miss +Crawley's solicitor in London, and which Briggs had +written so good-naturedly, consoled the dragoon and his +wife somewhat, after their first blank disappointment, on +reading the spinster's refusal of a reconciliation. And it +effected the purpose for which the old lady had caused it +to be written, by making Rawdon very eager to get to +London. + +Out of Jos's losings and George Osborne's bank-notes, +he paid his bill at the inn, the landlord whereof does not +probably know to this day how doubtfully his account +once stood. For, as a general sends his baggage to the +rear before an action, Rebecca had wisely packed up all +their chief valuables and sent them off under care of +George's servant, who went in charge of the trunks on +the coach back to London. Rawdon and his wife +returned by the same conveyance next day. + +"I should have liked to see the old girl before we went," +Rawdon said. "She looks so cut up and altered that I'm +sure she can't last long. I wonder what sort of a cheque +I shall have at Waxy's. Two hundred--it can't be less +than two hundred--hey, Becky?" + +In consequence of the repeated visits of the aides-de- +camp of the Sheriff of Middlesex, Rawdon and his wife +did not go back to their lodgings at Brompton, but put +up at an inn. Early the next morning, Rebecca had an +opportunity of seeing them as she skirted that suburb +on her road to old Mrs. Sedley's house at Fulham, whither +she went to look for her dear Amelia and her Brighton +friends. They were all off to Chatham, thence to Harwich, +to take shipping for Belgium with the regiment-- +kind old Mrs. Sedley very much depressed and tearful, +solitary. Returning from this visit, Rebecca found her +husband, who had been off to Gray's Inn, and learnt his +fate. He came back furious. + +"By Jove, Becky," says he, "she's only given me twenty +pound!" + +Though it told against themselves, the joke was too +good, and Becky burst out laughing at Rawdon's +discomfiture. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + + + +Between London and Chatham + +On quitting Brighton, our friend George, as became a +person of rank and fashion travelling in a barouche with +four horses, drove in state to a fine hotel in Cavendish +Square, where a suite of splendid rooms, and a table +magnificently furnished with plate and surrounded by a +half-dozen of black and silent waiters, was ready to +receive the young gentleman and his bride. George did the +honours of the place with a princely air to Jos and +Dobbin; and Amelia, for the first time, and with exceeding +shyness and timidity, presided at what George called her +own table. + +George pooh-poohed the wine and bullied the waiters +royally, and Jos gobbled the turtle with immense satisfaction. +Dobbin helped him to it; for the lady of the house, +before whom the tureen was placed, was so ignorant of +the contents, that she was going to help Mr. Sedley without bestowing upon him either calipash or calipee. + +The splendour of the entertainment, and the apartments +in which it was given, alarmed Mr. Dobbin, who +remonstrated after dinner, when Jos was asleep in the great +chair. But in vain he cried out against the enormity of +turtle and champagne that was fit for an archbishop. +"I've always been accustomed to travel like a gentleman," +George said, "and, damme, my wife shall travel like a +lady. As long as there's a shot in the locker, she shall +want for nothing," said the generous fellow, quite pleased +with himself for his magnificence of spirit. Nor did +Dobbin try and convince him that Amelia's happiness was not +centred in turtle-soup. + +A while after dinner, Amelia timidly expressed a wish +to go and see her mamma, at Fulham: which permission +George granted her with some grumbling. And she tripped +away to her enormous bedroom, in the centre of which +stood the enormous funereal bed, "that the Emperor +Halixander's sister slep in when the allied sufferings was +here," and put on her little bonnet and shawl with the +utmost eagerness and pleasure. George was still drinking +claret when she returned to the dining-room, and made +no signs of moving. "Ar'n't you coming with me, dearest?" +she asked him. No; the "dearest" had "business" +that night. His man should get her a coach and go with +her. And the coach being at the door of the hotel, Amelia +made George a little disappointed curtsey after looking +vainly into his face once or twice, and went sadly down +the great staircase, Captain Dobbin after, who handed her +into the vehicle, and saw it drive away to its destination. +The very valet was ashamed of mentioning the address to +the hackney-coachman before the hotel waiters, and +promised to instruct him when they got further on. + +Dobbin walked home to his old quarters and the +Slaughters', thinking very likely that it would be delightful +to be in that hackney-coach, along with Mrs. Osborne. +George was evidently of quite a different taste; for when +he had taken wine enough, he went off to half-price at +the play, to see Mr. Kean perform in Shylock. Captain +Osborne was a great lover of the drama, and had himself +performed high-comedy characters with great distinction +in several garrison theatrical entertainments. Jos slept on +until long after dark, when he woke up with a start at +the motions of his servant, who was removing and +emptying the decanters on the table; and the hackney-coach +stand was again put into requisition for a carriage to +convey this stout hero to his lodgings and bed. + +Mrs. Sedley, you may be sure, clasped her daughter to +her heart with all maternal eagerness and affection, +running out of the door as the carriage drew up before the +little garden-gate, to welcome the weeping, trembling, +young bride. Old Mr. Clapp, who was in his shirt-sleeves, +trimming the garden-plot, shrank back alarmed. The Irish +servant-lass rushed up from the kitchen and smiled a +"God bless you." Amelia could hardly walk along the +flags and up the steps into the parlour. + +How the floodgates were opened, and mother and +daughter wept, when they were together embracing each +other in this sanctuary, may readily be imagined by every +reader who possesses the least sentimental turn. When +don't ladies weep? At what occasion of joy, sorrow, or +other business of life, and, after such an event as a +marriage, mother and daughter were surely at liberty to give +way to a sensibility which is as tender as it is refreshing. +About a question of marriage I have seen women +who hate each other kiss and cry together quite fondly. +How much more do they feel when they love! Good mothers +are married over again at their daughters' weddings: +and as for subsequent events, who does not know how +ultra-maternal grandmothers are?--in fact a woman, until +she is a grandmother, does not often really know what to +be a mother is. Let us respect Amelia and her mamma +whispering and whimpering and laughing and crying in +the parlour and the twilight. Old Mr. Sedley did. HE had +not divined who was in the carriage when it drove up. He +had not flown out to meet his daughter, though he kissed +her very warmly when she entered the room (where he +was occupied, as usual, with his papers and tapes and +statements of accounts), and after sitting with the mother +and daughter for a short time, he very wisely left the +little apartment in their possession. + +George's valet was looking on in a very supercilious +manner at Mr. Clapp in his shirt-sleeves, watering his +rose-bushes. He took off his hat, however, with much +condescension to Mr. Sedley, who asked news about +his son-in-law, and about Jos's carriage, and whether his +horses had been down to Brighton, and about that +infernal traitor Bonaparty, and the war; until the Irish +maid-servant came with a plate and a bottle of wine, +from which the old gentleman insisted upon helping the +valet. He gave him a half-guinea too, which the servant +pocketed with a mixture of wonder and contempt. "To +the health of your master and mistress, Trotter," Mr. +Sedley said, "and here's something to drink your health +when you get home, Trotter." + +There were but nine days past since Amelia had left +that little cottage and home--and yet how far off the +time seemed since she had bidden it farewell. What a +gulf lay between her and that past life. She could look +back to it from her present standing-place, and contemplate, +almost as another being, the young unmarried girl +absorbed in her love, having no eyes but for one special +object, receiving parental affection if not ungratefully, +at least indifferently, and as if it were her due--her +whole heart and thoughts bent on the accomplishment of +one desire. The review of those days, so lately gone yet +so far away, touched her with shame; and the aspect of +the kind parents filled her with tender remorse. Was the +prize gained--the heaven of life--and the winner still +doubtful and unsatisfied? As his hero and heroine pass +the matrimonial barrier, the novelist generally drops the +curtain, as if the drama were over then: the doubts and +struggles of life ended: as if, once landed in the marriage +country, all were green and pleasant there: and wife +and husband had nothing to do but to link each other's +arms together, and wander gently downwards towards +old age in happy and perfect fruition. But our little +Amelia was just on the bank of her new country, and was +already looking anxiously back towards the sad friendly +figures waving farewell to her across the stream, from the +other distant shore. + +In honour of the young bride's arrival, her mother +thought it necessary to prepare I don't know what festive +entertainment, and after the first ebullition of talk, took +leave of Mrs. George Osborne for a while, and dived +down to the lower regions of the house to a sort of +kitchen-parlour (occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Clapp, and +in the evening, when her dishes were washed and her +curl-papers removed, by Miss Flannigan, the Irish servant), +there to take measures for the preparing of a magnificent ornamented tea. All people have their ways of +expressing kindness, and it seemed to Mrs. Sedley that a +muffin and a quantity of orange marmalade spread out +in a little cut-glass saucer would be peculiarly agreeable +refreshments to Amelia in her most interesting situation. + +While these delicacies were being transacted below, +Amelia, leaving the drawing-room, walked upstairs and +found herself, she scarce knew how, in the little room +which she had occupied before her marriage, and in that +very chair in which she had passed so many bitter hours. +She sank back in its arms as if it were an old friend; +and fell to thinking over the past week, and the life +beyond it. Already to be looking sadly and vaguely back: +always to be pining for something which, when obtained, +brought doubt and sadness rather than pleasure; here +was the lot of our poor little creature and harmless lost +wanderer in the great struggling crowds of Vanity Fair. + +Here she sate, and recalled to herself fondly that image +of George to which she had knelt before marriage. Did +she own to herself how different the real man was from +that superb young hero whom she had worshipped? It +requires many, many years--and a man must be very bad +indeed--before a woman's pride and vanity will let her +own to such a confession. Then Rebecca's twinkling +green eyes and baleful smile lighted upon her, and filled +her with dismay. And so she sate for awhile indulging +in her usual mood of selfish brooding, in that very +listless melancholy attitude in which the honest maid-servant +had found her, on the day when she brought up the +letter in which George renewed his offer of marriage. + +She looked at the little white bed, which had been hers +a few days before, and thought she would like to sleep +in it that night, and wake, as formerly, with her mother +smiling over her in the morning: Then she thought with +terror of the great funereal damask pavilion in the vast +and dingy state bedroom, which was awaiting her at the +grand hotel in Cavendish Square. Dear little white bed! +how many a long night had she wept on its pillow! +How she had despaired and hoped to die there; and now +were not all her wishes accomplished, and the lover of +whom she had despaired her own for ever? Kind mother! +how patiently and tenderly she had watched round that +bed! She went and knelt down by the bedside; and there +this wounded and timorous, but gentle and loving soul, +sought for consolation, where as yet, it must be owned, +our little girl had but seldom looked for it. Love had +been her faith hitherto; and the sad, bleeding disappointed +heart began to feel the want of another consoler. + +Have we a right to repeat or to overhear her prayers? +These, brother, are secrets, and out of the domain of +Vanity Fair, in which our story lies. + +But this may be said, that when the tea was finally +announced, our young lady came downstairs a great deal +more cheerful; that she did not despond, or deplore her +fate, or think about George's coldness, or Rebecca's eyes, +as she had been wont to do of late. She went downstairs, +and kissed her father and mother, and talked to +the old gentleman, and made him more merry than he +had been for many a day. She sate down at the piano +which Dobbin had bought for her, and sang over all her +father's favourite old songs. She pronounced the tea to +be excellent, and praised the exquisite taste in which +the marmalade was arranged in the saucers. And in +determining to make everybody else happy, she found +herself so; and was sound asleep in the great funereal +pavilion, and only woke up with a smile when George +arrived from the theatre. + +For the next day, George had more important "business" +to transact than that which took him to see Mr. +Kean in Shylock. Immediately on his arrival in London +he had written off to his father's solicitors, signifying his +royal pleasure that an interview should take place between +them on the morrow. His hotel bill, losses at +billiards and cards to Captain Crawley had almost drained +the young man's purse, which wanted replenishing before +he set out on his travels, and he had no resource but +to infringe upon the two thousand pounds which the +attorneys were commissioned to pay over to him. He +had a perfect belief in his own mind that his father +would relent before very long. How could any parent +be obdurate for a length of time against such a +paragon as he was? If his mere past and personal merits did +not succeed in mollifying his father, George determined +that he would distinguish himself so prodigiously in the +ensuing campaign that the old gentleman must give in to +him. And if not? Bah! the world was before him. His +luck might change at cards, and there was a deal of +spending in two thousand pounds. + +So he sent off Amelia once more in a carriage to her +mamma, with strict orders and carte blanche to the two +ladies to purchase everything requisite for a lady of Mrs. +George Osborne's fashion, who was going on a foreign +tour. They had but one day to complete the outfit, and +it may be imagined that their business therefore occupied +them pretty fully. In a carriage once more, bustling +about from milliner to linen-draper, escorted back to the +carriage by obsequious shopmen or polite owners, Mrs. +Sedley was herself again almost, and sincerely happy for +the first time since their misfortunes. Nor was Mrs. +Amelia at all above the pleasure of shopping, and +bargaining, and seeing and buying pretty things. (Would +any man, the most philosophic, give twopence for a +woman who was?) She gave herself a little treat, +obedient to her husband's orders, and purchased a +quantity of lady's gear, showing a great deal of taste and +elegant discernment, as all the shopfolks said. + +And about the war that was ensuing, Mrs. Osborne +was not much alarmed; Bonaparty was to be crushed +almost without a struggle. Margate packets were sailing +every day, filled with men of fashion and ladies of note, +on their way to Brussels and Ghent. People were going +not so much to a war as to a fashionable tour. The +newspapers laughed the wretched upstart and swindler to +scorn. Such a Corsican wretch as that withstand the +armies of Europe and the genius of the immortal +Wellington! Amelia held him in utter contempt; for it needs +not to be said that this soft and gentle creature took her +opinions from those people who surrounded her, such +fidelity being much too humble-minded to think for itself. +Well, in a word, she and her mother performed a +great day's shopping, and she acquitted herself with +considerable liveliness and credit on this her first +appearance in the genteel world of London. + +George meanwhile, with his hat on one side, his elbows +squared, and his swaggering martial air, made for +Bedford Row, and stalked into the attorney's offices as if +he was lord of every pale-faced clerk who was scribbling +there. He ordered somebody to inform Mr. Higgs that +Captain Osborne was waiting, in a fierce and patronizing +way, as if the pekin of an attorney, who had thrice his +brains, fifty times his money, and a thousand times his +experience, was a wretched underling who should +instantly leave all his business in life to attend on the +Captain's pleasure. He did not see the sneer of contempt +which passed all round the room, from the first +clerk to the articled gents, from the articled gents to the +ragged writers and white-faced runners, in clothes too +tight for them, as he sate there tapping his boot with his +cane, and thinking what a parcel of miserable poor devils +these were. The miserable poor devils knew all about his +affairs. They talked about them over their pints of beer +at their public-house clubs to other clerks of a night. +Ye gods, what do not attorneys and attorneys' clerks +know in London! Nothing is hidden from their +inquisition, and their families mutely rule our city. + +Perhaps George expected, when he entered Mr. Higgs's +apartment, to find that gentleman commissioned to give +him some message of compromise or conciliation from +his father; perhaps his haughty and cold demeanour +was adopted as a sign of his spirit and resolution: but if +so, his fierceness was met by a chilling coolness and +indifference on the attorney's part, that rendered +swaggering absurd. He pretended to be writing at a paper, +when the Captain entered. "Pray, sit down, sir," said he, +"and I will attend to your little affair in a moment. Mr. +Poe, get the release papers, if you please"; and then he +fell to writing again. + +Poe having produced those papers, his chief calculated +the amount of two thousand pounds stock at the rate of +the day; and asked Captain Osborne whether he would +take the sum in a cheque upon the bankers, or whether +he should direct the latter to purchase stock to that +amount. "One of the late Mrs. Osborne's trustees is out +of town," he said indifferently, "but my client wishes to +meet your wishes, and have done with the business as +quick as possible." + +"Give me a cheque, sir," said the Captain very surlily. +"Damn the shillings and halfpence, sir," he added, as the +lawyer was making out the amount of the draft; and, +flattering himself that by this stroke of magnanimity he +had put the old quiz to the blush, he stalked out of +the office with the paper in his pocket. + +"That chap will be in gaol in two years," Mr. Higgs said +to Mr. Poe. + +"Won't O. come round, sir, don't you think?" + +"Won't the monument come round," Mr. Higgs replied. + +"He's going it pretty fast," said the clerk. "He's only +married a week, and I saw him and some other military +chaps handing Mrs. Highflyer to her carriage after the +play." And then another case was called, and Mr. George +Osborne thenceforth dismissed from these worthy +gentlemen's memory. + +The draft was upon our friends Hulker and Bullock of +Lombard Street, to whose house, still thinking he was +doing business, George bent his way, and from whom he +received his money. Frederick Bullock, Esq., whose +yellow face was over a ledger, at which sate a demure clerk, +happened to be in the banking-room when George entered. +His yellow face turned to a more deadly colour +when he saw the Captain, and he slunk back guiltily into +the inmost parlour. George was too busy gloating over +the money (for he had never had such a sum before), to +mark the countenance or flight of the cadaverous suitor +of his sister. + +Fred Bullock told old Osborne of his son's appearance +and conduct. "He came in as bold as brass," said +Frederick. "He has drawn out every shilling. How long +will a few hundred pounds last such a chap as that?" +Osborne swore with a great oath that he little cared when or +how soon he spent it. Fred dined every day in Russell +Square now. But altogether, George was highly pleased +with his day's business. All his own baggage and outfit +was put into a state of speedy preparation, and he paid +Amelia's purchases with cheques on his agents, and with +the splendour of a lord. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII + + +In Which Amelia Joins Her Regiment + +When Jos's fine carriage drove up to the inn door at +Chatham, the first face which Amelia recognized was the +friendly countenance of Captain Dobbin, who had been +pacing the street for an hour past in expectation of his +friends' arrival. The Captain, with shells on his frockcoat, +and a crimson sash and sabre, presented a military +appearance, which made Jos quite proud to be able to +claim such an acquaintance, and the stout civilian hailed +him with a cordiality very different from the reception +which Jos vouchsafed to his friend in Brighton and Bond +Street. + +Along with the Captain was Ensign Stubble; who, as +the barouche neared the inn, burst out with an exclamation +of "By Jove! what a pretty girl"; highly applauding +Osborne's choice. Indeed, Amelia dressed in her wedding- +pelisse and pink ribbons, with a flush in her face, +occasioned by rapid travel through the open air, looked so +fresh and pretty, as fully to justify the Ensign's compliment. +Dobbin liked him for making it. As he stepped forward +to help the lady out of the carriage, Stubble saw +what a pretty little hand she gave him, and what a sweet +pretty little foot came tripping down the step. He blushed +profusely, and made the very best bow of which he was +capable; to which Amelia, seeing the number of the the +regiment embroidered on the Ensign's cap, replied with a +blushing smile, and a curtsey on her part; which finished +the young Ensign on the spot. Dobbin took most kindly to +Mr. Stubble from that day, and encouraged him to talk +about Amelia in their private walks, and at each other's +quarters. It became the fashion, indeed, among all the +honest young fellows of the --th to adore and admire +Mrs. Osborne. Her simple artless behaviour, and +modest kindness of demeanour, won all their unsophisticated +hearts; all which simplicity and sweetness are quite +impossible to describe in print. But who has not beheld +these among women, and recognised the presence of all +sorts of qualities in them, even though they say no more +to you than that they are engaged to dance the next +quadrille, or that it is very hot weather? George, always the +champion of his regiment, rose immensely in the opinion +of the youth of the corps, by his gallantry in marrying this +portionless young creature, and by his choice of such a +pretty kind partner. + +In the sitting-room which was awaiting the travellers, +Amelia, to her surprise, found a letter addressed to Mrs. +Captain Osborne. It was a triangular billet, on pink paper, +and sealed with a dove and an olive branch, and a +profusion of light blue sealing wax, and it was written in +a very large, though undecided female hand. + +"It's Peggy O'Dowd's fist," said George, laughing. "I +know it by the kisses on the seal." And in fact, it was a +note from Mrs. Major O'Dowd, requesting the pleasure +of Mrs. Osborne's company that very evening to a small +friendly party. "You must go," George said. "You will +make acquaintance with the regiment there. O'Dowd goes +in command of the regiment, and Peggy goes in command + +But they had not been for many minutes in the enjoyment +of Mrs. O'Dowd's letter, when the door was flung +open, and a stout jolly lady, in a riding-habit, followed by +a couple of officers of Ours, entered the room. + +"Sure, I couldn't stop till tay-time. Present me, Garge, +my dear fellow, to your lady. Madam, I'm deloighted to +see ye; and to present to you me husband, Meejor +O'Dowd"; and with this, the jolly lady in the riding-habit +grasped Amelia's hand very warmly, and the latter knew +at once that the lady was before her whom her husband +had so often laughed at. "You've often heard of me from +that husband of yours," said the lady, with great vivacity. + +"You've often heard of her," echoed her husband, the +Major. + +Amelia answered, smiling, "that she had." + +"And small good he's told you of me," Mrs. O'Dowd +replied; adding that "George was a wicked divvle." + +"That I'll go bail for," said the Major, trying to look +knowing, at which George laughed; and Mrs. O'Dowd, +with a tap of her whip, told the Major to be quiet; and +then requested to be presented in form to Mrs. Captain +Osborne. + +"This, my dear," said George with great gravity, "is my +very good, kind, and excellent friend, Auralia Margaretta, +otherwise called Peggy." + +"Faith, you're right," interposed the Major. + +"Otherwise called Peggy, lady of Major Michael +O'Dowd, of our regiment, and daughter of Fitzjurld +Ber'sford de Burgo Malony of Glenmalony, County Kildare." + +"And Muryan Squeer, Doblin," said the lady with calm +superiority. + +"And Muryan Square, sure enough," the Major +whispered. + +"'Twas there ye coorted me, Meejor dear," the lady +said; and the Major assented to this as to every other +proposition which was made generally in company. + +Major O'Dowd, who had served his sovereign in every +quarter of the world, and had paid for every step in his +profession by some more than equivalent act of daring +and gallantry, was the most modest, silent, sheep-faced +and meek of little men, and as obedient to his wife as if +he had been her tay-boy. At the mess-table he sat silently, +and drank a great deal. When full of liquor, he +reeled silently home. When he spoke, it was to agree with +everybody on every conceivable point; and he passed +through life in perfect ease and good-humour. The +hottest suns of India never heated his temper; and the +Walcheren ague never shook it. He walked up to a battery +with just as much indifference as to a dinner-table; had +dined on horse-flesh and turtle with equal relish and +appetite; and had an old mother, Mrs. O'Dowd of +O'Dowdstown indeed, whom he had never disobeyed +but when he ran away and enlisted, and when he persisted +in marrying that odious Peggy Malony. + +Peggy was one of five sisters, and eleven children of the +noble house of Glenmalony; but her husband, though her +own cousin, was of the mother's side, and so had not the +inestimable advantage of being allied to the Malonys, +whom she believed to be the most famous family in the +world. Having tried nine seasons at Dublin and two at +Bath and Cheltenham, and not finding a partner for life, +Miss Malony ordered her cousin Mick to marry her when +she was about thirty-three years of age; and the honest +fellow obeying, carried her off to the West Indies, to +preside over the ladies of the --th regiment, into which he +had just exchanged. + +Before Mrs. O'Dowd was half an hour in Amelia's (or +indeed in anybody else's) company, this amiable lady told +all her birth and pedigree to her new friend. "My dear," +said she, good-naturedly, "it was my intention that Garge +should be a brother of my own, and my sister Glorvina +would have suited him entirely. But as bygones are +bygones, and he was engaged to yourself, why, I'm +determined to take you as a sister instead, and to look upon +you as such, and to love you as one of the family. Faith, +you've got such a nice good-natured face and way widg +you, that I'm sure we'll agree; and that you'll be an +addition to our family anyway." + +"'Deed and she will," said O'Dowd, with an approving +air, and Amelia felt herself not a little amused and +grateful to be thus suddenly introduced to so large a +party of relations. + +"We're all good fellows here," the Major's lady continued. +"There's not a regiment in the service where you'll +find a more united society nor a more agreeable mess- +room. There's no quarrelling, bickering, slandthering, nor +small talk amongst us. We all love each other." + +"Especially Mrs. Magenis," said George, laughing. + +"Mrs. Captain Magenis and me has made up, though +her treatment of me would bring me gray hairs with +sorrow to the grave." + +"And you with such a beautiful front of black, Peggy, +my dear," the Major cried. + +"Hould your tongue, Mick, you booby. Them husbands +are always in the way, Mrs. Osborne, my dear; and as +for my Mick, I often tell him he should never open his +mouth but to give the word of command, or to put meat +and drink into it. I'll tell you about the regiment, and +warn you when we're alone. Introduce me to your brother +now; sure he's a mighty fine man, and reminds me of me +cousin, Dan Malony (Malony of Ballymalony, my dear, +you know who mar'ied Ophalia Scully, of Oystherstown, +own cousin to Lord Poldoody). Mr. Sedley, sir, I'm +deloighted to be made known te ye. I suppose you'll dine +at the mess to-day. (Mind that divvle of a docther, Mick, +and whatever ye du, keep yourself sober for me party +this evening.)" + +"It's the 150th gives us a farewell dinner, my love," +interposed the Major, "but we'll easy get a card for Mr. +Sedley." + +"Run Simple (Ensign Simple, of Ours, my dear Amelia. +I forgot to introjuice him to ye). Run in a hurry, with +Mrs. Major O'Dowd's compliments to Colonel Tavish, +and Captain Osborne has brought his brothernlaw down, +and will bring him to the 150th mess at five o'clock sharp +--when you and I, my dear, will take a snack here, if you +like." Before Mrs. O'Dowd's speech was concluded, the +young Ensign was trotting downstairs on his commission. + +"Obedience is the soul of the army. We will go to our +duty while Mrs. O'Dowd will stay and enlighten you, +Emmy," Captain Osborne said; and the two gentlemen, +taking each a wing of the Major, walked out with that +officer, grinning at each other over his head. + +And, now having her new friend to herself, the impetuous +Mrs: O'Dowd proceeded to pour out such a +quantity of information as no poor little woman's memory +could ever tax itself to bear. She told Amelia a thousand +particulars relative to the very numerous family of which +the amazed young lady found herself a member. "Mrs. +Heavytop, the Colonel's wife, died in Jamaica of the +yellow faver and a broken heart comboined, for the horrud +old Colonel, with a head as bald as a cannon-ball, was +making sheep's eyes at a half-caste girl there. Mrs. +Magenis, though without education, was a good woman, +but she had the divvle's tongue, and would cheat her own +mother at whist. Mrs. Captain Kirk must turn up her +lobster eyes forsooth at the idea of an honest round game +(wherein me fawther, as pious a man as ever went to +church, me uncle Dane Malony, and our cousin the +Bishop, took a hand at loo, or whist, every night of their +lives). Nayther of 'em's goin' with the regiment this time," +Mrs. O'Dowd added. "Fanny Magenis stops with her +mother, who sells small coal and potatoes, most likely, +in Islington-town, hard by London, though she's always +bragging of her father's ships, and pointing them out to us +as they go up the river: and Mrs. Kirk and her children +will stop here in Bethesda Place, to be nigh to her favourite +preacher, Dr. Ramshorn. Mrs. Bunny's in an interesting +situation--faith, and she always is, then--and has +given the Lieutenant seven already. And Ensign Posky's +wife, who joined two months before you, my dear, has +quarl'd with Tom Posky a score of times, till you can +hear'm all over the bar'ck (they say they're come to +broken pleets, and Tom never accounted for his black oi), +and she'll go back to her mother, who keeps a ladies' +siminary at Richmond--bad luck to her for running away +from it! Where did ye get your finishing, my dear? I had +moin, and no expince spared, at Madame Flanahan's, at +Ilyssus Grove, Booterstown, near Dublin, wid a Marchioness +to teach us the true Parisian pronunciation, and a retired +Mejor-General of the French service to put us +through the exercise." + +Of this incongruous family our astonished Amelia found +herself all of a sudden a member: with Mrs. O'Dowd as +an elder sister. She was presented to her other female +relations at tea-time, on whom, as she was quiet, good- +natured, and not too handsome, she made rather an +agreeable impression until the arrival of the gentlemen from +the mess of the 150th, who all admired her so, that her +sisters began, of course, to find fault with her. + +"I hope Osborne has sown his wild oats," said Mrs. +Magenis to Mrs. Bunny. "If a reformed rake makes a +good husband, sure it's she will have the fine chance with +Garge," Mrs. O'Dowd remarked to Posky, who had lost +her position as bride in the regiment, and was quite angry +with the usurper. And as for Mrs. Kirk: that disciple of +Dr. Ramshorn put one or two leading professional +questions to Amelia, to see whether she was awakened, +whether she was a professing Christian and so forth, and +finding from the simplicity of Mrs. Osborne's replies that +she was yet in utter darkness, put into her hands three +little penny books with pictures, viz., the "Howling +Wilderness," the "Washerwoman of Wandsworth Common," +and the "British Soldier's best Bayonet," which, bent upon +awakening her before she slept, Mrs. Kirk begged Amelia +to read that night ere she went to bed. + +But all the men, like good fellows as they were, rallied +round their comrade's pretty wife, and paid her their +court with soldierly gallantry. She had a little triumph, +which flushed her spirits and made her eyes sparkle. +George was proud of her popularity, and pleased with the +manner (which was very gay and graceful, though naive +and a little timid) with which she received the gentlemen's attentions, and answered their compliments. And +he in his uniform--how much handsomer he was than +any man in the room! She felt that he was affectionately +watching her, and glowed with pleasure at his kindness. "I +will make all his friends welcome," she resolved in her +heart. "I will love all as I love him. I will always try and +be gay and good-humoured and make his home happy." + +The regiment indeed adopted her with acclamation. +The Captains approved, the Lieutenants applauded, the +Ensigns admired. Old Cutler, the Doctor, made one or +two jokes, which, being professional, need not be repeated; +and Cackle, the Assistant M.D. of Edinburgh, condescended +to examine her upon leeterature, and tried her +with his three best French quotations. Young Stubble went +about from man to man whispering, "Jove, isn't she a +pretty gal?" and never took his eyes off her except when +the negus came in. + +As for Captain Dobbin, he never so much as spoke to +her during the whole evening. But he and Captain Porter +of the l50th took home Jos to the hotel, who was in a +very maudlin state, and had told his tiger-hunt story with +great effect, both at the mess-table and at the soiree, to +Mrs. O'Dowd in her turban and bird of paradise. Having +put the Collector into the hands of his servant, Dobbin +loitered about, smoking his cigar before the inn door. +George had meanwhile very carefully shawled his wife, +and brought her away from Mrs. O'Dowd's after a general +handshaking from the young officers, who accompanied +her to the fly, and cheered that vehicle as it drove off. So +Amelia gave Dobbin her little hand as she got out of the +carriage, and rebuked him smilingly for not having taken +any notice of her all night. + +The Captain continued that deleterious amusement of +smoking, long after the inn and the street were gone to +bed. He watched the lights vanish from George's sitting- +room windows, and shine out in the bedroom close at +hand. It was almost morning when he returned to his own +quarters. He could hear the cheering from the ships in +the river, where the transports were already taking in +their cargoes preparatory to dropping down the Thames. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + + +In Which Amelia Invades the Low Countries + +The regiment with its officers was to be transported in +ships provided by His Majesty's government for the +occasion: and in two days after the festive assembly at Mrs. +O'Dowd's apartments, in the midst of cheering from all +the East India ships in the river, and the military on shore, +the band playing "God Save the King," the officers waving +their hats, and the crews hurrahing gallantly, the transports +went down the river and proceeded under convoy to +Ostend. Meanwhile the gallant Jos had agreed to escort +his sister and the Major's wife, the bulk of whose goods +and chattels, including the famous bird of paradise and +turban, were with the regimental baggage: so that our +two heroines drove pretty much unencumbered to +Ramsgate, where there were plenty of packets plying, in +one of which they had a speedy passage to Ostend. + +That period of Jos's life which now ensued was so full +of incident, that it served him for conversation for +many years after, and even the tiger-hunt story was put +aside for more stirring narratives which he had to tell +about the great campaign of Waterloo. As soon as he +had agreed to escort his sister abroad, it was remarked +that he ceased shaving his upper lip. At Chatham he +followed the parades and drills with great assiduity. He +listened with the utmost attention to the conversation of +his brother officers (as he called them in after days +sometimes), and learned as many military names as he could. +In these studies the excellent Mrs. O'Dowd was of great +assistance to him; and on the day finally when they +embarked on board the Lovely Rose, which was to carry +them to their destination, he made his appearance in a +braided frock-coat and duck trousers, with a foraging +cap ornamented with a smart gold band. Having his +carriage with him, and informing everybody on board +confidentially that he was going to join the Duke of +Wellington's army, folks mistook him for a great personage, a +commissary-general, or a government courier at the very +least. + +He suffered hugely on the voyage, during which the +ladies were likewise prostrate; but Amelia was brought to +life again as the packet made Ostend, by the sight of +the transports conveying her regiment, which entered the +harbour almost at the same time with the Lovely Rose. +Jos went in a collapsed state to an inn, while Captain +Dobbin escorted the ladies, and then busied himself in +freeing Jos's carriage and luggage from the ship and the +custom-house, for Mr. Jos was at present without a +servant, Osborne's man and his own pampered menial +having conspired together at Chatham, and refused point- +blank to cross the water. This revolt, which came very +suddenly, and on the last day, so alarmed Mr. Sedley, +junior, that he was on the point of giving up the expedition, +but Captain Dobbin (who made himself immensely +officious in the business, Jos said), rated him and +laughed at him soundly: the mustachios were grown in +advance, and Jos finally was persuaded to embark. In +place of the well-bred and well-fed London domestics, +who could only speak English, Dobbin procured for Jos's +party a swarthy little Belgian servant who could speak +no language at all; but who, by his bustling behaviour, +and by invariably addressing Mr. Sedley as "My lord," +speedily acquired that gentleman's favour. Times are +altered at Ostend now; of the Britons who go thither, +very few look like lords, or act like those members of +our hereditary aristocracy. They seem for the most part +shabby in attire, dingy of linen, lovers of billiards and +brandy, and cigars and greasy ordinaries. + +But it may be said as a rule, that every Englishman +in the Duke of Wellington's army paid his way. The +remembrance of such a fact surely becomes a nation of +shopkeepers. It was a blessing for a commerce-loving +country to be overrun by such an army of customers: +and to have such creditable warriors to feed. And the +country which they came to protect is not military. For +a long period of history they have let other people fight +there. When the present writer went to survey with eagle +glance the field of Waterloo, we asked the conductor of +the diligence, a portly warlike-looking veteran, whether +he had been at the battle. "Pas si bete"--such an +answer and sentiment as no Frenchman would own to-- +was his reply. But, on the other hand, the postilion +who drove us was a Viscount, a son of some bankrupt +Imperial General, who accepted a pennyworth of beer +on the road. The moral is surely a good one. + +This flat, flourishing, easy country never could have +looked more rich and prosperous than in that opening +summer of 1815, when its green fields and quiet cities +were enlivened by multiplied red-coats: when its wide +chaussees swarmed with brilliant English equipages: +when its great canal-boats, gliding by rich pastures and +pleasant quaint old villages, by old chateaux lying +amongst old trees, were all crowded with well-to-do English travellers: when the soldier who drank at the village +inn, not only drank, but paid his score; and Donald, +the Highlander, billeted in the Flemish farm-house, +rocked the baby's cradle, while Jean and Jeannette were +out getting in the hay. As our painters are bent on military +subjects just now, I throw out this as a good subject +for the pencil, to illustrate the principle of an honest +English war. All looked as brilliant and harmless as a +Hyde Park review. Meanwhile, Napoleon screened behind +his curtain of frontier-fortresses, was preparing for +the outbreak which was to drive all these orderly people +into fury and blood; and lay so many of them low. + +Everybody had such a perfect feeling of confidence +in the leader (for the resolute faith which the Duke of +Wellington had inspired in the whole English nation was +as intense as that more frantic enthusiasm with which +at one time the French regarded Napoleon), the country +seemed in so perfect a state of orderly defence, and the +help at hand in case of need so near and overwhelming, +that alarm was unknown, and our travellers, among +whom two were naturally of a very timid sort, were, +like all the other multiplied English tourists, entirely at +ease. The famous regiment, with so many of whose +officers we have made acquaintance, was drafted in canal +boats to Bruges and Ghent, thence to march to Brussels. +Jos accompanied the ladies in the public boats; the which +all old travellers in Flanders must remember for the +luxury and accommodation they afforded. So prodigiously +good was the eating and drinking on board these +sluggish but most comfortable vessels, that there are legends +extant of an English traveller, who, coming to Belgium +for a week, and travelling in one of these boats, was so +delighted with the fare there that he went backwards +and forwards from Ghent to Bruges perpetually until the +railroads were invented, when he drowned himself on the +last trip of the passage-boat. Jos's death was not to be +of this sort, but his comfort was exceeding, and Mrs. +O'Dowd insisted that he only wanted her sister Glorvina +to make his happiness complete. He sate on the roof +of the cabin all day drinking Flemish beer, shouting for +Isidor, his servant, and talking gallantly to the ladies. + +His courage was prodigious. "Boney attack us!" he +cried. "My dear creature, my poor Emmy, don't be +frightened. There's no danger. The allies will be in Paris +in two months, I tell you; when I'll take you to dine +in the Palais Royal, by Jove! There are three hundred +thousand Rooshians, I tell you, now entering France by +Mayence and the Rhine--three hundred thousand under +Wittgenstein and Barclay de Tolly, my poor love. You +don't know military affairs, my dear. I do, and I tell +you there's no infantry in France can stand against +Rooshian infantry, and no general of Boney's that's fit +to hold a candle to Wittgenstein. Then there are the +Austrians, they are five hundred thousand if a man, and +they are within ten marches of the frontier by this time, +under Schwartzenberg and Prince Charles. Then there are +the Prooshians under the gallant Prince Marshal. Show +me a cavalry chief like him now that Murat is gone. +Hey, Mrs. O'Dowd? Do you think our little girl here +need be afraid? Is there any cause for fear, Isidor? Hey, +sir? Get some more beer." + +Mrs. O'Dowd said that her "Glorvina was not afraid +of any man alive, let alone a Frenchman," and tossed +off a glass of beer with a wink which expressed her +liking for the beverage. + +Having frequently been in presence of the enemy, or, +in other words, faced the ladies at Cheltenham and Bath, +our friend, the Collector, had lost a great deal of his +pristine timidity, and was now, especially when fortified +with liquor, as talkative as might be. He was rather a +favourite with the regiment, treating the young officers +with sumptuosity, and amusing them by his military airs. +And as there is one well-known regiment of the army +which travels with a goat heading the column, whilst +another is led by a deer, George said with respect to his +brother-in-law, that his regiment marched with an +elephant. + +Since Amelia's introduction to the regiment, George +began to be rather ashamed of some of the company to +which he had been forced to present her; and determined, +as he told Dobbin (with what satisfaction to the latter +it need not be said), to exchange into some better regiment +soon, and to get his wife away from those damned +vulgar women. But this vulgarity of being ashamed of +one's society is much more common among men than +women (except very great ladies of fashion, who, to be +sure, indulge in it); and Mrs. Amelia, a natural and +unaffected person, had none of that artificial shamefacedness +which her husband mistook for delicacy on his own +part. Thus Mrs. O'Dowd had a cock's plume in her hat, +and a very large "repayther" on her stomach, which she +used to ring on all occasions, narrating how it had been +presented to her by her fawther, as she stipt into the +car'ge after her mar'ge; and these ornaments, with other +outward peculiarities of the Major's wife, gave excruciating +agonies to Captain Osborne, when his wife and the +Major's came in contact; whereas Amelia was only +amused by the honest lady's eccentricities, and not in +the least ashamed of her company. + +As they made that well-known journey, which almost +every Englishman of middle rank has travelled since, +there might have been more instructive, but few more +entertaining, companions than Mrs. Major O'Dowd. "Talk +about kenal boats; my dear! Ye should see the kenal +boats between Dublin and Ballinasloe. It's there the rapid +travelling is; and the beautiful cattle. Sure me fawther +got a goold medal (and his Excellency himself eat a slice +of it, and said never was finer mate in his loif) for a +four-year-old heifer, the like of which ye never saw in +this country any day." And Jos owned with a sigh, "that +for good streaky beef, really mingled with fat and lean, +there was no country like England." + +"Except Ireland, where all your best mate comes from," +said the Major's lady; proceeding, as is not unusual with +patriots of her nation, to make comparisons greatly in +favour of her own country. The idea of comparing the +market at Bruges with those of Dublin, although she had +suggested it herself, caused immense scorn and derision +on her part. "I'll thank ye tell me what they mean by +that old gazabo on the top of the market-place," said +she, in a burst of ridicule fit to have brought the old +tower down. The place was full of English soldiery as +they passed. English bugles woke them in the morning; +at nightfall they went to bed to the note of the British +fife and drum: all the country and Europe was in arms, +and the greatest event of history pending: and honest +Peggy O'Dowd, whom it concerned as well as another, +went on prattling about Ballinafad, and the horses in the +stables at Glenmalony, and the clar't drunk there; and +Jos Sedley interposed about curry and rice at Dumdum; +and Amelia thought about her husband, and how best +she should show her love for him; as if these were +the great topics of the world. + +Those who like to lay down the History-book, and to +speculate upon what MIGHT have happened in the world, +but for the fatal occurrence of what actually did take +place (a most puzzling, amusing, ingenious, and profitable +kind of meditation), have no doubt often thought to +themselves what a specially bad time Napoleon took to +come back from Elba, and to let loose his eagle from +Gulf San Juan to Notre Dame. The historians on our +side tell us that the armies of the allied powers were +all providentially on a war-footing, and ready to bear +down at a moment's notice upon the Elban Emperor. +The august jobbers assembled at Vienna, and carving +out the kingdoms of Europe according to their wisdom, +had such causes of quarrel among themselves as might +have set the armies which had overcome Napoleon to +fight against each other, but for the return of the object +of unanimous hatred and fear. This monarch had an army +in full force because he had jobbed to himself Poland, +and was determined to keep it: another had robbed half +Saxony, and was bent upon maintaining his acquisition: +Italy was the object of a third's solicitude. Each was +protesting against the rapacity of the other; and could the +Corsican but have waited in prison until all these parties +were by the ears, he might have returned and reigned +unmolested. But what would have become of our story +and all our friends, then? If all the drops in it were dried +up, what would become of the sea? + +In the meanwhile the business of life and living, and +the pursuits of pleasure, especially, went on as if no end +were to be expected to them, and no enemy in front. +When our travellers arrived at Brussels, in which their +regiment was quartered, a great piece of good fortune, +as all said, they found themselves in one of the gayest +and most brilliant little capitals in Europe, and where +all the Vanity Fair booths were laid out with the most +tempting liveliness and splendour. Gambling was here in +profusion, and dancing in plenty: feasting was there to +fill with delight that great gourmand of a Jos: there +was a theatre where a miraculous Catalani was delighting +all hearers: beautiful rides, all enlivened with martial +splendour; a rare old city, with strange costumes and +wonderful architecture, to delight the eyes of little Amelia, +who had never before seen a foreign country, and fill +her with charming surprises: so that now and for a few +weeks' space in a fine handsome lodging, whereof the +expenses were borne by Jos and Osborne, who was flush +of money and full of kind attentions to his wife--for +about a fortnight, I say, during which her honeymoon +ended, Mrs. Amelia was as pleased and happy as any +little bride out of England. + +Every day during this happy time there was novelty +and amusement for all parties. There was a church to +see, or a picture-gallery--there was a ride, or an opera. +The bands of the regiments were making music at all +hours. The greatest folks of England walked in the Park +--there was a perpetual military festival. George, taking +out his wife to a new jaunt or junket every night, was +quite pleased with himself as usual, and swore he was +becoming quite a domestic character. And a jaunt or +a junket with HIM! Was it not enough to set this little +heart beating with joy? Her letters home to her mother +were filled with delight and gratitude at this season. Her +husband bade her buy laces, millinery, jewels, and +gimcracks of all sorts. Oh, he was the kindest, best, and +most generous of men! + +The sight of the very great company of lords and ladies +and fashionable persons who thronged the town, and +appeared in every public place, filled George's truly British +soul with intense delight. They flung off that happy +frigidity and insolence of demeanour which occasionally +characterises the great at home, and appearing in +numberless public places, condescended to mingle with the +rest of the company whom they met there. One night +at a party given by the general of the division to which +George's regiment belonged, he had the honour of dancing +with Lady Blanche Thistlewood, Lord Bareacres' +daughter; he bustled for ices and refreshments for the +two noble ladies; he pushed and squeezed for Lady +Bareacres' carriage; he bragged about the Countess when +he got home, in a way which his own father could not +have surpassed. He called upon the ladies the next day; +he rode by their side in the Park; he asked their party +to a great dinner at a restaurateur's, and was quite +wild with exultation when they agreed to come. Old +Bareacres, who had not much pride and a large appetite, +would go for a dinner anywhere. + +"I.hope there will be no women besides our own +party," Lady Bareacres said, after reflecting upon the +invitation which had been made, and accepted with too +much precipitancy. + +"Gracious Heaven, Mamma--you don't suppose the +man would bring his wife," shrieked Lady Blanche, who +had been languishing in George's arms in the newly +imported waltz for hours the night before. "The men are +bearable, but their women--" + +"Wife, just married, dev'lish pretty woman, I hear," +the old Earl said. + +"Well, my dear Blanche," said the mother, "I suppose, +as Papa wants to go, we must go; but we needn't know +them in England, you know." And so, determined to cut +their new acquaintance in Bond Street, these great folks +went to eat his dinner at Brussels, and condescending to +make him pay for their pleasure, showed their dignity +by making his wife uncomfortable, and carefully excluding +her from the conversation. This is a species of dignity +in which the high-bred British female reigns supreme. To +watch the behaviour of a fine lady to other and humbler +women, is a very good sport for a philosophical frequenter +of Vanity Fair. + +This festival, on which honest George spent a great +deal of money, was the very dismallest of all the +entertainments which Amelia had in her honeymoon. She +wrote the most piteous accounts of the feast home to +her mamma: how the Countess of Bareacres would not +answer when spoken to; how Lady Blanche stared at her +with her eye-glass; and what a rage Captain Dobbin was +in at their behaviour; and how my lord, as they came +away from the feast, asked to see the bill, and pronounced +it a d-- bad dinner, and d-- dear. But though Amelia +told all these stories, and wrote home regarding +her guests' rudeness, and her own discomfiture, +old Mrs. Sedley was mightily pleased nevertheless, +and talked about Emmy's friend, the Countess of +Bareacres, with such assiduity that the news how his son +was entertaining peers and peeresses actually came to +Osborne's ears in the City. + +Those who know the present Lieutenant-General Sir +George Tufto, K.C.B., and have seen him, as they may +on most days in the season, padded and in stays, strutting +down Pall Mall with a rickety swagger on his high-heeled +lacquered boots, leering under the bonnets of passers- +by, or riding a showy chestnut, and ogling broughams in +the Parks--those who know the present Sir George Tufto +would hardly recognise the daring Peninsular and Waterloo +officer. He has thick curling brown hair and black +eyebrows now, and his whiskers are of the deepest +purple. He was light-haired and bald in 1815, and stouter +in the person and in the limbs, which especially have +shrunk very much of late. When he was about seventy +years of age (he is now nearly eighty), his hair, which +was very scarce and quite white, suddenly grew thick, +and brown, and curly, and his whiskers and eyebrows +took their present colour. Ill-natured people say that +his chest is all wool, and that his hair, because it never +grows, is a wig. Tom Tufto, with whose father he quarrelled +ever so many years ago, declares that Mademoiselle +de Jaisey, of the French theatre, pulled his +grandpapa's hair off in the green-room; but Tom is +notoriously spiteful and jealous; and the General's wig has +nothing to do with our story. + +One day, as some of our friends of the --th were +sauntering in the flower-market of Brussels, having been +to see the Hotel de Ville, which Mrs. Major O'Dowd +declared was not near so large or handsome as her +fawther's mansion of Glenmalony, an officer of rank, with +an orderly behind him, rode up to the market, and +descending from his horse, came amongst the flowers, and +selected the very finest bouquet which money could buy. +The beautiful bundle being tied up in a paper, the officer +remounted, giving the nosegay into the charge of his +military groom, who carried it with a grin, following his +chief, who rode away in great state and self-satisfaction. + +"You should see the flowers at Glenmalony," Mrs. +O'Dowd was remarking. "Me fawther has three Scotch +garners with nine helpers. We have an acre of hot-houses, +and pines as common as pays in the sayson. Our greeps +weighs six pounds every bunch of 'em, and upon me +honour and conscience I think our magnolias is as big +as taykettles." + +Dobbin, who never used to "draw out" Mrs. O'Dowd +as that wicked Osborne delighted in doing (much to +Amelia's terror, who implored him to spare her), fell +back in the crowd, crowing and sputtering until he +reached a safe distance, when he exploded amongst the +astonished market-people with shrieks of yelling laughter. + +"Hwhat's that gawky guggling about?" said Mrs. +O'Dowd. "Is it his nose bleedn? He always used to say +'twas his nose bleedn, till he must have pomped all the +blood out of 'um. An't the magnolias at Glenmalony +as big as taykettles, O'Dowd?" + +"'Deed then they are, and bigger, Peggy," the Major +said. When the conversation was interrupted in the +manner stated by the arrival of the officer who purchased +the bouquet. + +"Devlish fine horse--who is it?" George asked. + +"You should see me brother Molloy Malony's horse, +Molasses, that won the cop at the Curragh," the Major's +wife was exclaiming, and was continuing the family +history, when her husband interrupted her by saying-- + +"It's General Tufto, who commands the ---- cavalry +division"; adding quietly, "he and I were both shot in +the same leg at Talavera." + +"Where you got your step," said George with a laugh. +"General Tufto! Then, my dear, the Crawleys are come." + +Amelia's heart fell--she knew not why. The sun did +not seem to shine so bright. The tall old roofs and +gables looked less picturesque all of a sudden, though +it was a brilliant sunset, and one of the brightest and +most beautiful days at the end of May. + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX + + +Brussels + +Mr. Jos had hired a pair of horses for his open carriage, +with which cattle, and the smart London vehicle, he made +a very tolerable figure in the drives about Brussels. +George purchased a horse for his private riding, and +he and Captain Dobbin would often accompany the +carriage in which Jos and his sister took daily excursions +of pleasure. They went out that day in the park for their +accustomed diversion, and there, sure enough, George's +remark with regard to the arrival of Rawdon Crawley and +his wife proved to be correct. In the midst of a little +troop of horsemen, consisting of some of the very greatest +persons in Brussels, Rebecca was seen in the prettiest +and tightest of riding-habits, mounted on a beautiful +little Arab, which she rode to perfection (having acquired +the art at Queen's Crawley, where the Baronet, Mr. +Pitt, and Rawdon himself had given her many lessons), +and by the side of the gallant General Tufto. + +"Sure it's the Juke himself," cried Mrs. Major O'Dowd +to Jos, who began to blush violently; "and that's Lord +Uxbridge on the bay. How elegant he looks! Me brother, +Molloy Malony, is as like him as two pays." + +Rebecca did not make for the carriage; but as soon +as she perceived her old acquaintance Amelia seated in +it, acknowledged her presence by a gracious nod and +smile, and by kissing and shaking her fingers playfully +in the direction of the vehicle. Then she resumed her +conversation with General Tufto, who asked "who the +fat officer was in the gold-laced cap?" on which Becky +replied, "that he was an officer in the East Indian service." +But Rawdon Crawley rode out of the ranks of his +company, and came up and shook hands heartily with +Amelia, and said to Jos, "Well, old boy, how are you?" +and stared in Mrs. O'Dowd's face and at.the black cock's +feathers until she began to think she had made a +conquest of him. + +George, who had been delayed behind, rode up almost +immediately with Dobbin, and they touched their caps to +the august personages, among whom Osborne at once +perceived Mrs. Crawley. He was delighted to see Rawdon +leaning over his carriage familiarly and talking to Amelia, +and met the aide-de-camp's cordial greeting with more +than corresponding warmth. The nods between Rawdon +and Dobbin were of the very faintest specimens of +politeness. + +Crawley told George where they were stopping with +General Tufto at the Hotel du Parc, and George made +his friend promise to come speedily to Osborne's own +residence. "Sorry I hadn't seen you three days ago," +George said. "Had a dinner at the Restaurateur's--rather a +nice thing. Lord Bareacres, and the Countess, and Lady +Blanche, were good enough to dine with us--wish we'd +had you." Having thus let his friend know his claims to be +a man of fashion, Osborne parted from Rawdon, who +followed the august squadron down an alley into which +they cantered, while George and Dobbin resumed their +places, one on each side of Amelia's carriage. + +"How well the Juke looked," Mrs. O'Dowd remarked. +"The Wellesleys and Malonys are related; but, of course, +poor I would never dream of introjuicing myself unless +his Grace thought proper to remember our family-tie." + +"He's a great soldier," Jos said, much more at ease +now the great man was gone. "Was there ever a battle +won like Salamanca? Hey, Dobbin? But where was it he +learnt his art? In India, my boy! The jungle's the school +for a general, mark me that. I knew him myself, too, +Mrs. O'Dowd: we both of us danced the same evening +with Miss Cutler, daughter of Cutler of the Artillery, and +a devilish fine girl, at Dumdum." + +The apparition of the great personages held them +all in talk during the drive; and at dinner; and until the +hour came when they were all to go to the Opera. + +It was almost like Old England. The house was filled +with familiar British faces, and those toilettes for which +the British female has long been celebrated. Mrs. +O'Dowd's was not the least splendid amongst these, and +she had a curl on her forehead, and a set of Irish diamonds +and Cairngorms, which outshone all the decorations +in the house, in her notion. Her presence used to +excruciate Osborne; but go she would upon all parties of +pleasure on which she heard her young friends were bent. +It never entered into her thought but that they must be +charmed with her company. + +"She's been useful to you, my dear," George said to +his wife, whom he could leave alone with less scruple +when she had this society. "But what a comfort it is that +Rebecca's come: you will have her for a friend, and we +may get rid now of this damn'd Irishwoman." To this +Amelia did not answer, yes or no: and how do we know +what her thoughts were? + +The coup d'oeil of the Brussels opera-house did not +strike Mrs. O'Dowd as being so fine as the theatre in +Fishamble Street, Dublin, nor was French music at all +equal, in her opinion, to the melodies of her native country. +She favoured her friends with these and other opinions +in a very loud tone of voice, and tossed about a +great clattering fan she sported, with the most splendid +complacency. + +"Who is that wonderful woman with Amelia, Rawdon, +love?" said a lady in an opposite box (who, almost always +civil to her husband in private, was more fond than +ever of him in company). + +"Don't you see that creature with a yellow thing in +her turban, and a red satin gown, and a great watch?" + +"Near the pretty little woman in white?" asked a +middle-aged gentleman seated by the querist's side, with +orders in his button, and several under-waistcoats, and +a great, choky, white stock. + +"That pretty woman in white is Amelia, General: you +are remarking all the pretty women, you naughty man." + +"Only one, begad, in the world!" said the General, delighted, +and the lady gave him a tap with a large bouquet +which she had. + +"Bedad it's him," said Mrs. O'Dowd; "and that's the +very bokay he bought in the Marshy aux Flures!" and +when Rebecca, having caught her friend's eye, performed +the little hand-kissing operation once more, Mrs. Major +O'D., taking the compliment to herself, returned the salute +with a gracious smile, which sent that unfortunate +Dobbin shrieking out of the box again. + +At the end of the act, George was out of the box in a +moment, and he was even going to pay his respects to +Rebecca in her loge. He met Crawley in the lobby, however, +where they exchanged a few sentences upon the +occurrences of the last fortnight. + +"You found my cheque all right at the agent's? +George said, with a knowing air. + +"All right, my boy," Rawdon answered. "Happy to give +you your revenge. Governor come round?" + +"Not yet," said George, "but he will; and you know I've +some private fortune through my mother. Has Aunty +relented?" + +"Sent me twenty pound, damned old screw. When shall +we have a meet? The General dines out on Tuesday. +Can't you come Tuesday? I say, make Sedley cut off his +moustache. What the devil does a civilian mean with a +moustache and those infernal frogs to his coat! By-bye. +Try and come on Tuesday"; and Rawdon was going-off +with two brilliant young gentlemen of fashion, who were, +like himself, on the staff of a general officer. + +George was only half pleased to be asked to dinner on +that particular day when the General was not to dine. "I +will go in and pay my respects to your wife," said he; at +which Rawdon said, "Hm, as you please," looking very +glum, and at which the two young officers exchanged +knowing glances. George parted from them and strutted +down the lobby to the General's box, the number of which +he had carefully counted. + +"Entrez," said a clear little voice, and our friend found +himself in Rebecca's presence; who jumped up, clapped +her hands together, and held out both of them to George, +so charmed was she to see him. The General, with the +orders in his button, stared at the newcomer with a sulky +scowl, as much as to say, who the devil are you? + +"My dear Captain George!" cried little Rebecca in an +ecstasy. "How good of you to come. The General and I +were moping together tete-a-tete. General, this is my +Captain George of whom you heard me talk." + +"Indeed," said the General, with a very small bow; "of +what regiment is Captain George?" + +George mentioned the --th: how he wished he could +have said it was a crack cavalry corps. + +"Come home lately from the West Indies, I believe. +Not seen much service in the late war. Quartered here, +Captain George?"--the General went on with killing +haughtiness. + +"Not Captain George, you stupid man; Captain Osborne," +Rebecca said. The General all the while was looking +savagely from one to the other. + +"Captain Osborne, indeed! Any relation to the L-- +Osbornes?" + +"We bear the same arms," George said, as indeed was +the fact; Mr. Osborne having consulted with a herald in +Long Acre, and picked the L-- arms out of the peerage, +when he set up his carriage fifteen years before. The +General made no reply to this announcement; but took +up his opera-glass--the double-barrelled lorgnon was not +invented in those days--and pretended to examine the +house; but Rebecca saw that his disengaged eye was +working round in her direction, and shooting out +bloodshot glances at her and George. + +She redoubled in cordiality. "How is dearest Amelia? +But I needn't ask: how pretty she looks! And who is that +nice good-natured looking creature with her--a flame of +yours? O, you wicked men! And there is Mr. Sedley +eating ice, I declare: how he seems to enjoy it! General, why +have we not had any ices?" + +"Shall I go and fetch you some?" said the General, +bursting with wrath. + +"Let ME go, I entreat you," George said. + +"No, I will go to Amelia's box. Dear, sweet girl! Give +me your arm, Captain George"; and so saying, and with a +nod to the General, she tripped into the lobby. She gave +George the queerest, knowingest look, when they were +together, a look which might have been interpreted, +"Don't you see the state of affairs, and what a fool I'm +making of him?" But he did not perceive it. He was +thinking of his own plans, and lost in pompous admiration +of his own irresistible powers of pleasing. + +The curses to which the General gave a low utterance, +as soon as Rebecca and her conqueror had quitted him, +were so deep, that I am sure no compositor would +venture to print them were they written down. They came +from the General's heart; and a wonderful thing it is to +think that the human heart is capable of generating such +produce, and can throw out, as occasion demands, such +a supply of lust and fury, rage and hatred. + +Amelia's gentle eyes, too, had been fixed anxiously on +the pair, whose conduct had so chafed the jealous General; +but when Rebecca entered her box, she flew to her +friend with an affectionate rapture which showed itself, in +spite of the publicity of the place; for she embraced her +dearest friend in the presence of the whole house, at least +in full view of the General's glass, now brought to bear +upon the Osborne party. Mrs. Rawdon saluted Jos, too, +with the kindliest greeting: she admired Mrs. O'Dowd's +large Cairngorm brooch and superb Irish diamonds, and +wouldn't believe that they were not from Golconda direct. +She bustled, she chattered, she turned and twisted, +and smiled upon one, and smirked on another, all in full +view of the jealous opera-glass opposite. And when the +time for the ballet came (in which there was no dancer +that went through her grimaces or performed her comedy +of action better), she skipped back to her own box, leaning +on Captain Dobbin's arm this time. No, she would +not have George's: he must stay and talk to his dearest, +best, little Amelia. + +"What a humbug that woman is!" honest old Dobbin +mumbled to George, when he came back from Rebecca's +box, whither he had conducted her in perfect silence, and +with a countenance as glum as an undertaker's. "She +writhes and twists about like a snake. All the time she +was here, didn't you see, George, how she was acting at +the General over the way?" + +"Humbug--acting! Hang it, she's the nicest little +woman in England," George replied, showing his white +teeth, and giving his ambrosial whiskers a twirl. "You +ain't a man of the world, Dobbin. Dammy, look at her +now, she's talked over Tufto in no time. Look how he's +laughing! Gad, what a shoulder she has! Emmy, why +didn't you have a bouquet? Everybody has a bouquet." + +"Faith, then, why didn't you BOY one?" Mrs. O'Dowd +said; and both Amelia and William Dobbin thanked her +for this timely observation. But beyond this neither of +the ladies rallied. Amelia was overpowered by the flash +and the dazzle and the fashionable talk of her worldly rival. +Even the O'Dowd was silent and subdued after Becky's +brilliant apparition, and scarcely said a word more about +Glenmalony all the evening. + +"When do you intend to give up play, George, as you +have promised me, any time these hundred years?" Dobbin +said to his friend a few days after the night at the +Opera. "When do you intend to give up sermonising?" +was the other's reply. "What the deuce, man, are you +alarmed about? We play low; I won last night. You +don't suppose Crawley cheats? With fair play it comes +to pretty much the same thing at the year's end." + +"But I don't think he could pay if he lost," Dobbin +said; and his advice met with the success which advice +usually commands. Osborne and Crawley were repeatedly +together now. General Tufto dined abroad almost constantly. +George was always welcome in the apartments +(very close indeed to those of the General) which the +aide-de-camp and his wife occupied in the hotel. + +Amelia's manners were such when she and George visited +Crawley and his wife at these quarters, that they had +very nearly come to their first quarrel; that is, George +scolded his wife violently for her evident unwillingness to +go, and the high and mighty manner in which she comported +herself towards Mrs. Crawley, her old friend; and +Amelia did not say one single word in reply; but with her +husband's eye upon her, and Rebecca scanning her as she +felt, was, if possible, more bashful and awkward on the +second visit which she paid to Mrs. Rawdon, than on her +first call. + +Rebecca was doubly affectionate, of course, and would +not take notice, in the least, of her friend's coolness. "I +think Emmy has become prouder since her father's name +was in the--since Mr. Sedley's MISFORTUNES," Rebecca +said, softening the phrase charitably for George's ear. + +"Upon my word, I thought when we were at Brighton +she was doing me the honour to be jealous of me; and +now I suppose she is scandalised because Rawdon, and I, +and the General live together. Why, my dear creature, +how could we, with our means, live at all, but for a friend +to share expenses? And do you suppose that Rawdon is +not big enough to take care of my honour? But I'm very +much obliged to Emmy, very," Mrs. Rawdon said. + +"Pooh, jealousy!" answered George, "all women are +jealous." + +"And all men too. Weren't you jealous of General +Tufto, and the General of you, on the night of the Opera? +Why, he was ready to eat me for going with you to visit +that foolish little wife of yours; as if I care a pin for +either of you," Crawley's wife said, with a pert toss of +her head. "Will you dine here? The dragon dines with the +Commander-in-Chief. Great news is stirring. They say +the French have crossed the frontier. We shall have a +quiet dinner." + +George accepted the invitation, although his wife was a +little ailing. They were now not quite six weeks married. +Another woman was laughing or sneering at her expense, +and he not angry. He was not even angry with himself, +this good-natured fellow. It is a shame, he owned to himself; +but hang it, if a pretty woman WILL throw herself in +your way, why, what can a fellow do, you know? I AM +rather free about women, he had often said, smiling and +nodding knowingly to Stubble and Spooney, and other +comrades of the mess-table; and they rather respected +him than otherwise for this prowess. Next to conquering +in war, conquering in love has been a source of pride, +time out of mind, amongst men in Vanity Fair, or how +should schoolboys brag of their amours, or Don Juan be +popular? + +So Mr. Osborne, having a firm conviction in his own +mind that he was a woman-killer and destined to conquer, +did not run counter to his fate, but yielded himself +up to it quite complacently. And as Emmy did not say +much or plague him with her jealousy, but merely became +unhappy and pined over it miserably in secret, he chose +to fancy that she was not suspicious of what all his +acquaintance were perfectly aware--namely, that he was +carrying on a desperate flirtation with Mrs. Crawley. He +rode with her whenever she was free. He pretended +regimental business to Amelia (by which falsehood she was +not in the least deceived), and consigning his wife to +solitude or her brother's society, passed his evenings in +the Crawleys' company; losing money to the husband and +flattering himself that the wife was dying of love for him. +It is very likely that this worthy couple never absolutely +conspired and agreed together in so many words: the one +to cajole the young gentleman, whilst the other won his +money at cards: but they understood each other perfectly +well, and Rawdon let Osborne come and go with entire +good humour. + +George was so occupied with his new acquaintances +that he and William Dobbin were by no means so much +together as formerly. George avoided him in public and +in the regiment, and, as we see, did not like those +sermons which his senior was disposed to inflict upon him. +If some parts of his conduct made Captain Dobbin +exceedingly grave and cool; of what use was it to tell George +that, though his whiskers were large, and his own +opinion of his knowingness great, he was as green as a +schoolboy? that Rawdon was making a victim of him as he had +done of many before, and as soon as he had used him +would fling him off with scorn? He would not listen: and +so, as Dobbin, upon those days when he visited the +0sborne house, seldom had the advantage of meeting his +old friend, much painful and unavailing talk between +them was spared. Our friend George was in the full career +of the pleasures of Vanity Fair. + +There never was, since the days of Darius, such a brilliant +train of camp-followers as hung round the Duke of +Wellington's army in the Low Countries, in 1815; and +led it dancing and feasting, as it were, up to the very +brink of battle. A certain ball which a noble Duchess +gave at Brussels on the 15th of June in the above-named +year is historical. All Brussels had been in a state of +excitement about it, and I have heard from ladies who +were in that town at the period, that the talk and interest +of persons of their own sex regarding the ball was much +greater even than in respect of the enemy in their front. +The struggles, intrigues, and prayers to get tickets were +such as only English ladies will employ, in order to gain +admission to the society of the great of their own nation. + +Jos and Mrs. O'Dowd, who were panting to be asked, +strove in vain to procure tickets; but others of our friends +were more lucky. For instance, through the interest of +my Lord Bareacres, and as a set-off for the dinner at the +restaurateur's, George got a card for Captain and Mrs. +Osborne; which circumstance greatly elated him. Dobbin, +who was a friend of the General commanding the division +in which their regiment was, came laughing one +day to Mrs. Osborne, and displayed a similar invitation, +which made Jos envious, and George wonder how the +deuce he should be getting into society. Mr. and Mrs. +Rawdon, finally, were of course invited; as became the +friends of a General commanding a cavalry brigade. + +On the appointed night, George, having commanded +new dresses and ornaments of all sorts for Amelia, drove +to the famous ball, where his wife did not know a single +soul. After looking about for Lady Bareacres, who cut +him, thinking the card was quite enough--and after +placing Amelia on a bench, he left her to her own +cogitations there, thinking, on his own part, that he had +behaved very handsomely in getting her new clothes, and +bringing her to the ball, where she was free to amuse +herself as she liked. Her thoughts were not of the +pleasantest, and nobody except honest Dobbin came to +disturb them. + +Whilst her appearance was an utter failure (as her +husband felt with a sort of rage), Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's +debut was, on the contrary, very brilliant. She arrived +very late. Her face was radiant; her dress perfection. In +the midst of the great persons assembled, and the eye- +glasses directed to her, Rebecca seemed to be as cool +and collected as when she used to marshal Miss Pinkerton's +little girls to church. Numbers of the men she knew +already, and the dandies thronged round her. As for the +ladies, it was whispered among them that Rawdon had +run away with her from out of a convent, and that she +was a relation of the Montmorency family. She spoke +French so perfectly that there might be some truth in +this report, and it was agreed that her manners were +fine, and her air distingue. Fifty would-be partners +thronged round her at once, and pressed to have the +honour to dance with her. But she said she was engaged, +and only going to dance very little; and made her way at +once to the place where Emmy sate quite unnoticed, and +dismally unhappy. And so, to finish the poor child at +once, Mrs. Rawdon ran and greeted affectionately her +dearest Amelia, and began forthwith to patronise her. +She found fault with her friend's dress, and her +hairdresser, and wondered how she could be so chaussee, +and vowed that she must send her corsetiere the next +morning. She vowed that it was a delightful ball; that +there was everybody that every one knew, and only a +VERY few nobodies in the whole room. It is a fact, that +in a fortnight, and after three dinners in general society, +this young woman had got up the genteel jargon so well, +that a native could not speak it better; and it was only +from her French being so good, that you could know she +was not a born woman of fashion. + +George, who had left Emmy on her bench on entering +the ball-room, very soon found his way back when +Rebecca was by her dear friend's side. Becky was just +lecturing Mrs. Osborne upon the follies which her +husband was committing. "For God's sake, stop him from +gambling, my dear," she said, "or he will ruin himself. +He and Rawdon are playing at cards every night, and you +know he is very poor, and Rawdon will win every shilling +from him if he does not take care. Why don't you prevent +him, you little careless creature? Why don't you +come to us of an evening, instead of moping at home +with that Captain Dobbin? I dare say he is tres aimable; +but how could one love a man with feet of such size? +Your husband's feet are darlings--Here he comes. Where +have you been, wretch? Here is Emmy crying her eyes +out for you. Are you coming to fetch me for the quadrille?" +And she left her bouquet and shawl by Amelia's +side, and tripped off with George to dance. Women only +know how to wound so. There is a poison on the tips of +their little shafts, which stings a thousand times more +than a man's blunter weapon. Our poor Emmy, who had +never hated, never sneered all her life, was powerless in +the hands of her remorseless little enemy. + +George danced with Rebecca twice or thrice--how many +times Amelia scarcely knew. She sat quite unnoticed in +her corner, except when Rawdon came up with some +words of clumsy conversation: and later in the evening, +when Captain Dobbin made so bold as to bring her +refreshments and sit beside her. He did not like to ask her +why she was so sad; but as a pretext for the tears which +were filling in her eyes, she told him that Mrs. Crawley +had alarmed her by telling her that George would go on +playing. + +"It is curious, when a man is bent upon play, by what +clumsy rogues he will allow himself to be cheated," +Dobbin said; and Emmy said, "Indeed." She was thinking of +something else. It was not the loss of the money that +grieved her. + +At last George came back for Rebecca's shawl and +flowers. She was going away. She did not even +condescend to come back and say good-bye to Amelia. The +poor girl let her husband come and go without saying a +word, and her head fell on her breast. Dobbin had been +called away, and was whispering deep in conversation +with the General of the division, his friend, and had not +seen this last parting. George went away then with the +bouquet; but when he gave it to the owner, there lay a +note, coiled like a snake among the flowers. Rebecca's +eye caught it at once. She had been used to deal with +notes in early life. She put out her hand and took the +nosegay. He saw by her eyes as they met, that she was +aware what she should find there. Her husband hurried her +away, still too intent upon his own thoughts, seemingly, +to take note of any marks of recognition which might +pass between his friend and his wife. These were, +however, but trifling. Rebecca gave George her hand with one +of her usual quick knowing glances, and made a curtsey +and walked away. George bowed over the hand, said +nothing in reply to a remark of Crawley's, did not hear it +even, his brain was so throbbing with triumph and +excitement, and allowed them to go away without a word. + +His wife saw the one part at least of the bouquet-scene. +It was quite natural that George should come at Rebecca's +request to get her her scarf and flowers: it was no +more than he had done twenty times before in the course +of the last few days; but now it was too much for her. +"William," she said, suddenly clinging to Dobbin, who was +near her, "you've always been very kind to me--I'm-- +I'm not well. Take me home." She did not know she called +him by his Christian name, as George was accustomed to +do. He went away with her quickly. Her lodgings were +hard by; and they threaded through the crowd without, +where everything seemed to be more astir than even in the +ball-room within. + +George had been angry twice or thrice at finding his +wife up on his return from the parties which he +frequented: so she went straight to bed now; but although +she did not sleep, and although the din and clatter, and +the galloping of horsemen were incessant, she never heard +any of these noises, having quite other disturbances to +keep her awake. + +Osborne meanwhile, wild with elation, went off to a +play-table, and began to bet frantically. He won repeatedly. "Everything succeeds with me to-night," he said. +But his luck at play even did not cure him of his restlessness, +and he started up after awhile, pocketing his winnings, +and went to a buffet, where he drank off many +bumpers of wine. + +Here, as he was rattling away to the people around, +laughing loudly and wild with spirits, Dobbin found him. +He had been to the card-tables to look there for his +friend. Dobbin looked as pale and grave as his comrade +was flushed and jovial. + +''Hullo, Dob! Come and drink, old Dob! The Duke's +wine is famous. Give me some more, you sir"; and he +held out a trembling glass for the liquor. + +"Come out, George," said Dobbin, still gravely; "don't +drink." + +"Drink! there's nothing like it. Drink yourself, and +light up your lantern jaws, old boy. Here's to you." + +Dobbin went up and whispered something to him, at +which George, giving a start and a wild hurray, tossed off +his glass, clapped it on the table, and walked away +speedily on his friend's arm. "The enemy has passed the +Sambre," William said, "and our left is already engaged. +Come away. We are to march in three hours." + +Away went George, his nerves quivering with excitement +at the news so long looked for, so sudden when it +came. What were love and intrigue now? He thought +about a thousand things but these in his rapid walk to his +quarters--his past life and future chances--the fate which +might be before him--the wife, the child perhaps, from +whom unseen he might be about to part. Oh, how he +wished that night's work undone! and that with a clear +conscience at least he might say farewell to the tender +and guileless being by whose love he had set such little +store! + +He thought over his brief married life. In those few +weeks he had frightfully dissipated his little capital. How +wild and reckless he had been! Should any mischance +befall him: what was then left for her? How unworthy he +was of her. Why had he married her? He was not fit for +marriage. Why had he disobeyed his father, who had been +always so generous to him? Hope, remorse, ambition, +tenderness, and selfish regret filled his heart. He sate +down and wrote to his father, remembering what he had +said once before, when he was engaged to fight a duel. +Dawn faintly streaked the sky as he closed this farewell +letter. He sealed it, and kissed the superscription. He +thought how he had deserted that generous father, and of +the thousand kindnesses which the stern old man had +done him. + +He had looked into Amelia's bedroom when he entered; +she lay quiet, and her eyes seemed closed, and he +was glad that she was asleep. On arriving at his quarters +from the ball, he had found his regimental servant already +making preparations for his departure: the man +had understood his signal to be still, and these arrangements +were very quickly and silently made. Should he go +in and wake Amelia, he thought, or leave a note for her +brother to break the news of departure to her? He went +in to look at her once again. + +She had been awake when he first entered her room, +but had kept her eyes closed, so that even her wakefulness +should not seem to reproach him. But when he had +returned, so soon after herself, too, this timid little heart +had felt more at ease, and turning towards him as he +stept softly out of the room, she had fallen into a light +sleep. George came in and looked at her again, entering +still more softly. By the pale night-lamp he could see her +sweet, pale face--the purple eyelids were fringed and +closed, and one round arm, smooth and white, lay outside +of the coverlet. Good God! how pure she was; how +gentle, how tender, and how friendless! and he, how +selfish, brutal, and black with crime! Heart-stained, and +shame-stricken, he stood at the bed's foot, and looked at +the sleeping girl. How dared he--who was he, to pray for +one so spotless! God bless her! God bless her! He came to +the bedside, and looked at the hand, the little soft hand, +lying asleep; and he bent over the pillow noiselessly +towards the gentle pale face. + +Two fair arms closed tenderly round his neck as he +stooped down. "I am awake, George," the poor child said, +with a sob fit to break the little heart that nestled so +closely by his own. She was awake, poor soul, and to +what? At that moment a bugle from the Place of Arms +began sounding clearly, and was taken up through the +town; and amidst the drums of the infantry, and the +shrill pipes of the Scotch, the whole city awoke. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX + + + +"The Girl I Left Behind Me" + +We do not claim to rank among the military novelists. +Our place is with the non-combatants. When the decks +are cleared for action we go below and wait meekly. We +should only be in the way of the manoeuvres that the +gallant fellows are performing overhead. We shall go no +farther with the --th than to the city gate: and leaving +Major O'Dowd to his duty, come back to the Major's +wife, and the ladies and the baggage. + +Now the Major and his lady, who had not been invited +to the ball at which in our last chapter other of our +friends figured, had much more time to take their +wholesome natural rest in bed, than was accorded to people +who wished to enjoy pleasure as well as to do duty. "It's +my belief, Peggy, my dear," said he, as he placidly pulled +his nightcap over his ears, "that there will be such a ball +danced in a day or two as some of 'em has never heard +the chune of"; and he was much more happy to retire to +rest after partaking of a quiet tumbler, than to figure at +any other sort of amusement. Peggy, for her part, would +have liked to have shown her turban and bird of +paradise at the ball, but for the information which her +husband had given her, and which made her very grave. + +"I'd like ye wake me about half an hour before the assembly +beats," the Major said to his lady. "Call me at half- +past one, Peggy dear, and see me things is ready. May be +I'll not come back to breakfast, Mrs. O'D." With which +words, which signified his opinion that the regiment would +march the next morning, the Major ceased talking, and +fell asleep. + +Mrs. O'Dowd, the good housewife, arrayed in curl +papers and a camisole, felt that her duty was to act, and +not to sleep, at this juncture. "Time enough for that," she +said, "when Mick's gone"; and so she packed his travelling +valise ready for the march, brushed his cloak, his cap, and +other warlike habiliments, set them out in order for him; +and stowed away in the cloak pockets a light package of +portable refreshments, and a wicker-covered flask or +pocket-pistol, containing near a pint of a remarkably +sound Cognac brandy, of which she and the Major approved +very much; and as soon as the hands of the +"repayther" pointed to half-past one, and its interior +arrangements (it had a tone quite equal to a cathaydral, its +fair owner considered) knelled forth that fatal hour, Mrs. +O'Dowd woke up her Major, and had as comfortable a +cup of coffee prepared for him as any made that morning +in Brussels. And who is there will deny that this worthy +lady's preparations betokened affection as much as the +fits of tears and hysterics by which more sensitive females +exhibited their love, and that their partaking of this coffee, +which they drank together while the bugles were sounding +the turn-out and the drums beating in the various quarters +of the town, was not more useful and to the purpose than +the outpouring of any mere sentiment could be? The +consequence was, that the Major appeared on parade quite +trim, fresh, and alert, his well-shaved rosy countenance, +as he sate on horseback, giving cheerfulness and confidence +to the whole corps. All the officers saluted her +when the regiment marched by the balcony on which this +brave woman stood, and waved them a cheer as they +passed; and I daresay it was not from want of courage, +but from a sense of female delicacy and propriety, that +she refrained from leading the gallant --th personally +into action. + +On Sundays, and at periods of a solemn nature, Mrs. +O'Dowd used to read with great gravity out of a large +volume of her uncle the Dean's sermons. It had been of +great comfort to her on board the transport as they were +coming home, and were very nearly wrecked, on their +return from the West Indies. After the regiment's +departure she betook herself to this volume for meditation; +perhaps she did not understand much of what she was +reading, and her thoughts were elsewhere: but the sleep +project, with poor Mick's nightcap there on the pillow, +was quite a vain one. So it is in the world. Jack or Donald +marches away to glory with his knapsack on his shoulder, +stepping out briskly to the tune of "The Girl I Left Behind +Me." It is she who remains and suffers--and has the +leisure to think, and brood, and remember. + +Knowing how useless regrets are, and how the indulgence +of sentiment only serves to make people more miserable, +Mrs. Rebecca wisely determined to give way to no +vain feelings of sorrow, and bore the parting from her +husband with quite a Spartan equanimity. Indeed Captain +Rawdon himself was much more affected at the leave- +taking than the resolute little woman to whom he bade +farewell. She had mastered this rude coarse nature; +and he loved and worshipped her with all his faculties of +regard and admiration. In all his life he had never been so +happy, as, during the past few months, his wife had made +him. All former delights of turf, mess, hunting-field, and +gambling-table; all previous loves and courtships of +milliners, opera-dancers, and the like easy triumphs of the +clumsy military Adonis, were quite insipid when +compared to the lawful matrimonial pleasures which of late he +had enjoyed. She had known perpetually how to divert +him; and he had found his house and her society a +thousand times more pleasant than any place or company +which he had ever frequented from his childhood until +now. And he cursed his past follies and extravagances, +and bemoaned his vast outlying debts above all, which +must remain for ever as obstacles to prevent his wife's +advancement in the world. He had often groaned over +these in midnight conversations with Rebecca, although as +a bachelor they had never given him any disquiet. He +himself was struck with this phenomenon. "Hang it," +he would say (or perhaps use a still stronger expression +out of his simple vocabulary), "before I was married I +didn't care what bills I put my name to, and so long as +Moses would wait or Levy would renew for three months, +I kept on never minding. But since I'm married, except +renewing, of course, I give you my honour I've not +touched a bit of stamped paper." + +Rebecca always knew how to conjure away these +moods of melancholy. "Why, my stupid love," she would +say, "we have not done with your aunt yet. If she fails us, +isn't there what you call the Gazette? or, stop, when your +uncle Bute's life drops, I have another scheme. The living +has always belonged to the younger brother, and why +shouldn't you sell out and go into the Church?" The idea +of this conversion set Rawdon into roars of laughter: +you might have heard the explosion through the hotel at +midnight, and the haw-haws of the great dragoon's voice. +General Tufto heard him from his quarters on the first +floor above them; and Rebecca acted the scene with great +spirit, and preached Rawdon's first sermon, to the +immense delight of the General at breakfast. + +But these were mere by-gone days and talk. When the +final news arrived that the campaign was opened, and the +troops were to march, Rawdon's gravity became such +that Becky rallied him about it in a manner which rather +hurt the feelings of the Guardsman. "You don't suppose +I'm afraid, Becky, I should think," he said, with a tremor +in his voice. "But I'm a pretty good mark for a shot, and +you see if it brings me down, why I leave one and +perhaps two behind me whom I should wish to provide for, +as I brought 'em into the scrape. It is no laughing matter +that, Mrs. C., anyways." + +Rebecca by a hundred caresses and kind words tried +to soothe the feelings of the wounded lover. It was only +when her vivacity and sense of humour got the better of +this sprightly creature (as they would do under most +circumstances of life indeed) that she would break out +with her satire, but she could soon put on a demure face. +"Dearest love," she said, "do you suppose I feel nothing?" +and hastily dashing something from her eyes, she +looked up in her husband's face with a smile. + +"Look here," said he. "If I drop, let us see what there +is for you. I have had a pretty good run of luck here, and +here's two hundred and thirty pounds. I have got ten +Napoleons in my pocket. That is as much as I shall want; +for the General pays everything like a prince; and if I'm +hit, why you know I cost nothing. Don't cry, little woman; +I may live to vex you yet. Well, I shan't take either of my +horses, but shall ride the General's grey charger: it's +cheaper, and I told him mine was lame. If I'm done, those +two ought to fetch you something. Grigg offered ninety +for the mare yesterday, before this confounded news +came, and like a fool I wouldn't let her go under the two +o's. Bullfinch will fetch his price any day, only you'd +better sell him in this country, because the dealers have so +many bills of mine, and so I'd rather he shouldn't go +back to England. Your little mare the General gave you +will fetch something, and there's no d--d livery stable +bills here as there are in London," Rawdon added, with a +laugh. "There's that dressing-case cost me two hundred +--that is, I owe two for it; and the gold tops and bottles +must be worth thirty or forty. Please to put THAT up the +spout, ma'am, with my pins, and rings, and watch and +chain, and things. They cost a precious lot of money. Miss +Crawley, I know, paid a hundred down for the chain and +ticker. Gold tops and bottles, indeed! dammy, I'm sorry +I didn't take more now. Edwards pressed on me a silver- +gilt boot-jack, and I might have had a dressing-case fitted +up with a silver warming-pan, and a service of plate. But +we must make the best of what we've got, Becky, you +know." + +And so, making his last dispositions, Captain Crawley, +who had seldom thought about anything but himself, until +the last few months of his life, when Love had obtained +the mastery over the dragoon, went through the various +items of his little catalogue of effects, striving to see how +they might be turned into money for his wife's benefit, in +case any accident should befall him. He pleased himself +by noting down with a pencil, in his big schoolboy +handwriting, the various items of his portable property which +might be sold for his widow's advantage as, for example, +"My double-barril by Manton, say 40 guineas; my driving +cloak, lined with sable fur, 50 pounds; my duelling pistols in +rosewood case (same which I shot Captain Marker), +20 pounds; my regulation saddle-holsters and housings; my +Laurie ditto," and so forth, over all of which articles he +made Rebecca the mistress. + +Faithful to his plan of economy, the Captain dressed +himself in his oldest and shabbiest uniform and epaulets, +leaving the newest behind, under his wife's (or it might +be his widow's) guardianship. And this famous dandy of +Windsor and Hyde Park went off on his campaign with a +kit as modest as that of a sergeant, and with something +like a prayer on his lips for the woman he was leaving. +He took her up from the ground, and held her in his +arms for a minute, tight pressed against his strong-beating +heart. His face was purple and his eyes dim, as he put her +down and left her. He rode by his General's side, and +smoked his cigar in silence as they hastened after the +troops of the General's brigade, which preceded them; +and it was not until they were some miles on their way +that he left off twirling his moustache and broke silence. + +And Rebecca, as we have said, wisely determined not to +give way to unavailing sentimentality on her husband's +departure. She waved him an adieu from the window, and +stood there for a moment looking out after he was gone. +The cathedral towers and the full gables of the quaint old +houses were just beginning to blush in the sunrise. There +had been no rest for her that night. She was still in her +pretty ball-dress, her fair hair hanging somewhat out of +curl on her neck, and the circles round her eyes dark with +watching. "What a fright I seem," she said, examining +herself in the glass, "and how pale this pink makes one +look!" So she divested herself of this pink raiment; in +doing which a note fell out from her corsage, which she +picked up with a smile, and locked into her dressing-box. +And then she put her bouquet of the ball into a glass of +water, and went to bed, and slept very comfortably. + +The town was quite quiet when she woke up at ten +o'clock, and partook of coffee, very requisite and +comforting after the exhaustion and grief of the morning's +occurrences. + +This meal over, she resumed honest Rawdon's calculations +of the night previous, and surveyed her position. +Should the worst befall, all things considered, she was +pretty well to do. There were her own trinkets and trousseau, +in addition to those which her husband had left behind. +Rawdon's generosity, when they were first married, +has already been described and lauded. Besides these, +and the little mare, the General, her slave and worshipper, +had made her many very handsome presents, in the shape +of cashmere shawls bought at the auction of a bankrupt +French general's lady, and numerous tributes from the +jewellers' shops, all of which betokened her admirer's +taste and wealth. As for "tickers," as poor Rawdon called +watches, her apartments were alive with their clicking. +For, happening to mention one night that hers, which +Rawdon had given to her, was of English workmanship, +and went ill, on the very next morning there came to her +a little bijou marked Leroy, with a chain and cover +charmingly set with turquoises, and another signed Brequet, +which was covered with pearls, and yet scarcely bigger +than a half-crown. General Tufto had bought one, and +Captain Osborne had gallantly presented the other. Mrs. +Osborne had no watch, though, to do George justice, she +might have had one for the asking, and the Honourable +Mrs. Tufto in England had an old instrument of her +mother's that might have served for the plate-warming +pan which Rawdon talked about. If Messrs. Howell and +James were to publish a list of the purchasers of all the +trinkets which they sell, how surprised would some +families be: and if all these ornaments went to gentlemen's +lawful wives and daughters, what a profusion of jewellery +there would be exhibited in the genteelest homes of +Vanity Fair! + +Every calculation made of these valuables Mrs. Rebecca +found, not without a pungent feeling of triumph and self- +satisfaction, that should circumstances occur, she might +reckon on six or seven hundred pounds at the very least, +to begin the world with; and she passed the morning +disposing, ordering, looking out, and locking up her +properties in the most agreeable manner. Among the notes +in Rawdon's pocket-book was a draft for twenty pounds +on Osborne's banker. This made her think about Mrs. +Osborne. "I will go and get the draft cashed," she said, +"and pay a visit afterwards to poor little Emmy." If this +is a novel without a hero, at least let us lay claim to a +heroine. No man in the British army which has marched +away, not the great Duke himself, could be more cool or +collected in the presence of doubts and difficulties, than +the indomitable little aide-de-camp's wife. + +And there was another of our acquaintances who was +also to be left behind, a non-combatant, and whose emotions +and behaviour we have therefore a right to know. +This was our friend the ex-collector of Boggley Wollah, +whose rest was broken, like other people's, by the sounding +of the bugles in the early morning. Being a great +sleeper, and fond of his bed, it is possible he would have +snoozed on until his usual hour of rising in the forenoon, +in spite of all the drums, bugles, and bagpipes in the +British army, but for an interruption, which did not come +from George Osborne, who shared Jos's quarters with +him, and was as usual occupied too much with his own +affairs or with grief at parting with his wife, to think of +taking leave of his slumbering brother-in-law--it was not +George, we say, who interposed between Jos Sedley and +sleep, but Captain Dobbin, who came and roused him up, +insisting on shaking hands with him before his departure. + +"Very kind of you," said Jos, yawning, and wishing +the Captain at the deuce. + +"I--I didn't like to go off without saying good-bye, you +know," Dobbin said in a very incoherent manner; "because +you know some of us mayn't come back again, and +I like to see you all well, and--and that sort of thing, you +know." + +"What do you mean?" Jos asked, rubbing his eyes. The +Captain did not in the least hear him or look at the stout +gentleman in the nightcap, about whom he professed to +have such a tender interest. The hypocrite was looking +and listening with all his might in the direction of George's +apartments, striding about the room, upsetting the chairs, +beating the tattoo, biting his nails, and showing other +signs of great inward emotion. + +Jos had always had rather a mean opinion of the +Captain, and now began to think his courage was somewhat +equivocal. "What is it I can do for you, Dobbin?" he said, +in a sarcastic tone. + +"I tell you what you can do," the Captain replied, coming +up to the bed; "we march in a quarter of an hour, +Sedley, and neither George nor I may ever come back. +Mind you, you are not to stir from this town until you +ascertain how things go. You are to stay here and watch +over your sister, and comfort her, and see that no harm +comes to her. If anything happens to George, remember +she has no one but you in the world to look to. If it goes +wrong with the army, you'll see her safe back to England; +and you will promise me on your word that you will +never desert her. I know you won't: as far as money goes, +you were always free enough with that. Do you want any? +I mean, have you enough gold to take you back to +England in case of a misfortune?" + +"Sir," said Jos, majestically, "when I want money, I +know where to ask for it. And as for my sister, you +needn't tell me how I ought to behave to her." + +"You speak like a man of spirit, Jos," the other answered +good-naturedly, "and I am glad that George can +leave her in such good hands. So I may give him your +word of honour, may I, that in case of extremity you +will stand by her?" + +"Of course, of course," answered Mr. Jos, whose +generosity in money matters Dobbin estimated quite +correctly. + +"And you'll see her safe out of Brussels in the event of +a defeat?" + +"A defeat! D-- it, sir, it's impossible. Don't try and +frighten ME," the hero cried from his bed; and Dobbin's +mind was thus perfectly set at ease now that Jos had +spoken out so resolutely respecting his conduct to his +sister. "At least," thought the Captain, "there will be a +retreat secured for her in case the worst should ensue." + +If Captain Dobbin expected to get any personal comfort +and satisfaction from having one more view of Amelia +before the regiment marched away, his selfishness was +punished just as such odious egotism deserved to be. The +door of Jos's bedroom opened into the sitting-room which +was common to the family party, and opposite this door +was that of Amelia's chamber. The bugles had wakened +everybody: there was no use in concealment now. George's +servant was packing in this room: Osborne coming in +and out of the contiguous bedroom, flinging to the man +such articles as he thought fit to carry on the campaign. +And presently Dobbin had the opportunity which his +heart coveted, and he got sight of Amelia's face once +more. But what a face it was! So white, so wild and +despair-stricken, that the remembrance of it haunted him +afterwards like a crime, and the sight smote him with +inexpressible pangs of longing and pity. + +She was wrapped in a white morning dress, her hair +falling on her shoulders, and her large eyes fixed and +without light. By way of helping on the preparations for +the departure, and showing that she too could be useful +at a moment so critical, this poor soul had taken up a +sash of George's from the drawers whereon it lay, and +followed him to and fro with the sash in her hand, looking +on mutely as his packing proceeded. She came out and +stood, leaning at the wall, holding this sash against her +bosom, from which the heavy net of crimson dropped +like a large stain of blood. Our gentle-hearted Captain +felt a guilty shock as he looked at her. "Good God," +thought he, "and is it grief like this I dared to pry into?" +And there was no help: no means to soothe and comfort +this helpless, speechless misery. He stood for a moment +and looked at her, powerless and torn with pity, as a +parent regards an infant in pain. + +At last, George took Emmy's hand, and led her back +into the bedroom, from whence he came out alone. The +parting had taken place in that moment, and he was gone. + +"Thank Heaven that is over," George thought, bounding +down the stair, his sword under his arm, as he ran +swiftly to the alarm ground, where the regiment was +mustered, and whither trooped men and officers hurrying +from their billets; his pulse was throbbing and his cheeks +flushed: the great game of war was going to be played, +and he one of the players. What a fierce excitement of +doubt, hope, and pleasure! What tremendous hazards of +loss or gain! What were all the games of chance he had +ever played compared to this one? Into all contests +requiring athletic skill and courage, the young man, from +his boyhood upwards, had flung himself with all his might. +The champion of his school and his regiment, the bravos +of his companions had followed him everywhere; from +the boys' cricket-match to the garrison-races, he had won +a hundred of triumphs; and wherever he went women +and men had admired and envied him. What qualities +are there for which a man gets so speedy a return of +applause, as those of bodily superiority, activity, and +valour? Time out of mind strength and courage have been +the theme of bards and romances; and from the story of +Troy down to to-day, poetry has always chosen a soldier +for a hero. I wonder is it because men are cowards in +heart that they admire bravery so much, and place +military valour so far beyond every other quality for +reward and worship? + +So, at the sound of that stirring call to battle, George +jumped away from the gentle arms in which he had been +dallying; not without a feeling of shame (although his +wife's hold on him had been but feeble), that he should +have been detained there so long. The same feeling of +eagerness and excitement was amongst all those friends +of his of whom we have had occasional glimpses, from +the stout senior Major, who led the regiment into action, +to little Stubble, the Ensign, who was to bear its colours +on that day. + +The sun was just rising as the march began--it was +a gallant sight--the band led the column, playing the +regimental march--then came the Major in command, +riding upon Pyramus, his stout charger--then marched +the grenadiers, their Captain at their head; in the centre +were the colours, borne by the senior and junior Ensigns +--then George came marching at the head of his company. +He looked up, and smiled at Amelia, and passed +on; and even the sound of the music died away. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI + + + +In Which Jos Sedley Takes Care of His Sister + +Thus all the superior officers being summoned on duty +elsewhere, Jos Sedley was left in command of the little +colony at Brussels, with Amelia invalided, Isidor, his +Belgian servant, and the bonne, who was maid-of-all-work +for the establishment, as a garrison under him. Though +he was disturbed in spirit, and his rest destroyed by +Dobbin's interruption and the occurrences of the morning, +Jos nevertheless remained for many hours in bed, +wakeful and rolling about there until his usual hour of +rising had arrived. The sun was high in the heavens, and +our gallant friends of the --th miles on their march, +before the civilian appeared in his flowered dressing-gown +at breakfast. + +About George's absence, his brother-in-law was very +easy in mind. Perhaps Jos was rather pleased in his heart +that Osborne was gone, for during George's presence, the +other had played but a very secondary part in the +household, and Osborne did not scruple to show his contempt +for the stout civilian. But Emmy had always been good +and attentive to him. It was she who ministered to his +comforts, who superintended the dishes that he liked, +who walked or rode with him (as she had many, too +many, opportunities of doing, for where was George?) +and who interposed her sweet face between his anger +and her husband's scorn. Many timid remonstrances had +she uttered to George in behalf of her brother, but the +former in his trenchant way cut these entreaties short. +"I'm an honest man," he said, "and if I have a feeling +I show it, as an honest man will. How the deuce, my +dear, would you have me behave respectfully to such a +fool as your brother?" So Jos was pleased with George's +absence. His plain hat, and gloves on a sideboard, and +the idea that the owner was away, caused Jos I don't +know what secret thrill of pleasure. "HE won't be +troubling me this morning," Jos thought, "with his +dandified airs and his impudence." + +"Put the Captain's hat into the ante-room," he said +to Isidor, the servant. + +"Perhaps he won't want it again," replied the lackey, +looking knowingly at his master. He hated George too, +whose insolence towards him was quite of the English +sort. + +"And ask if Madame is coming to breakfast," Mr. +Sedley said with great majesty, ashamed to enter with a +servant upon the subject of his dislike for George. The +truth is, he had abused his brother to the valet a score +of times before. + +Alas! Madame could not come to breakfast, and cut +the tartines that Mr. Jos liked. Madame was a great deal +too ill, and had been in a frightful state ever since her +husband's departure, so her bonne said. Jos showed his +sympathy by pouring her out a large cup of tea It was +his way of exhibiting kindness: and he improved on this; +he not only sent her breakfast, but he bethought him +what delicacies she would most like for dinner. + +Isidor, the valet, had looked on very sulkily, while +Osborne's servant was disposing of his master's baggage +previous to the Captain's departure: for in the first place +he hated Mr. Osborne, whose conduct to him, and to +all inferiors, was generally overbearing (nor does the +continental domestic like to be treated with insolence as +our own better-tempered servants do), and secondly, he +was angry that so many valuables should be removed +from under his hands, to fall into other people's possession +when the English discomfiture should arrive. Of this +defeat he and a vast number of other persons in Brussels +and Belgium did not make the slightest doubt. The almost +universal belief was, that the Emperor would divide +the Prussian and English armies, annihilate one after the +other, and march into Brussels before three days were +over: when all the movables of his present masters, who +would be killed, or fugitives, or prisoners, would lawfully +become the property of Monsieur Isidor. + +As he helped Jos through his toilsome and complicated +daily toilette, this faithful servant would calculate what +he should do with the very articles with which he was +decorating his master's person. He would make a present +of the silver essence-bottles and toilet knicknacks to a +young lady of whom he was fond; and keep the English +cutlery and the large ruby pin for himself. It would +look very smart upon one of the fine frilled shirts, which, +with the gold-laced cap and the frogged frock coat, that +might easily be cut down to suit his shape, and the Captain's +gold-headed cane, and the great double ring with +the rubies, which he would have made into a pair of +beautiful earrings, he calculated would make a perfect +Adonis of himself, and render Mademoiselle Reine an +easy prey. "How those sleeve-buttons will suit me!" +thought he, as he fixed a pair on the fat pudgy wrists of +Mr. Sedley. "I long for sleeve-buttons; and the Captain's +boots with brass spurs, in the next room, corbleu! what +an effect they will make in the Allee Verte!" So while +Monsieur Isidor with bodily fingers was holding on to his +master's nose, and shaving the lower part of Jos's face, +his imagination was rambling along the Green Avenue, +dressed out in a frogged coat and lace, and in company +with Mademoiselle Reine; he was loitering in spirit on +the banks, and examining the barges sailing slowly under +the cool shadows of the trees by the canal, or refreshing +himself with a mug of Faro at the bench of a beer-house +on the road to Laeken. + +But Mr. Joseph Sedley, luckily for his own peace, no +more knew what was passing in his domestic's mind than +the respected reader, and I suspect what John or Mary, +whose wages we pay, think of ourselves. What our +servants think of us!--Did we know what our intimates and +dear relations thought of us, we should live in a world +that we should be glad to quit, and in a frame of mind +and a constant terror, that would be perfectly unbearable. +So Jos's man was marking his victim down, as you +see one of Mr. Paynter's assistants in Leadenhall Street +ornament an unconscious turtle with a placard on which +is written, "Soup to-morrow." + +Amelia's attendant was much less selfishly disposed. +Few dependents could come near that kind and gentle +creature without paying their usual tribute of loyalty +and affection to her sweet and affectionate nature. And +it is a fact that Pauline, the cook, consoled her mistress +more than anybody whom she saw on this wretched +morning; for when she found how Amelia remained for hours, +silent, motionless, and haggard, by the windows in which +she had placed herself to watch the last bayonets of the +column as it marched away, the honest girl took the +lady's hand, and said, Tenez, Madame, est-ce qu'il n'est +pas aussi a l'armee, mon homme a moi? with which +she burst into tears, and Amelia falling into her arms, +did likewise, and so each pitied and soothed the other. + +Several times during the forenoon Mr. Jos's Isidor +went from his lodgings into the town, and to the gates +of the hotels and lodging-houses round about the Parc, +where the English were congregated, and there mingled +with other valets, couriers, and lackeys, gathered such +news as was abroad, and brought back bulletins for his +master's information. Almost all these gentlemen were in +heart partisans of the Emperor, and had their opinions +about the speedy end of the campaign. The Emperor's +proclamation from Avesnes had been distributed +everywhere plentifully in Brussels. "Soldiers!" it said, "this +is the anniversary of Marengo and Friedland, by which the +destinies of Europe were twice decided. Then, as after +Austerlitz, as after Wagram, we were too generous. We +believed in the oaths and promises of princes whom we +suffered to remain upon their thrones. Let us march once +more to meet them. We and they, are we not still the +same men? Soldiers! these same Prussians who are so +arrogant to-day, were three to one against you at Jena, +and six to one at Montmirail. Those among you who +were prisoners in England can tell their comrades what +frightful torments they suffered on board the English +hulks. Madmen! a moment of prosperity has blinded +them, and if they enter into France it will be to find a +grave there!" But the partisans of the French prophesied +a more speedy extermination of the Emperor's enemies +than this; and it was agreed on all hands that Prussians +and British would never return except as prisoners in the +rear of the conquering army. + +These opinions in the course of the day were brought +to operate upon Mr. Sedley. He was told that the Duke +of Wellington had gone to try and rally his army, the +advance of which had been utterly crushed the night +before. + +"Crushed, psha!" said Jos, whose heart was pretty +stout at breakfast-time. "The Duke has gone to beat the +Emperor as he has beaten all his generals before." + +"His papers are burned, his effects are removed, and his +quarters are being got ready for the Duke of Dalmatia," +Jos's informant replied. "I had it from his own maitre +d'hotel. Milor Duc de Richemont's people are packing +up everything. His Grace has fled already, and the +Duchess is only waiting to see the plate packed to join the +King of France at Ostend." + +"The King of France is at Ghent, fellow," replied Jos, +affecting incredulity. + +"He fled last night to Bruges, and embarks today from +Ostend. The Duc de Berri is taken prisoner. Those who +wish to be safe had better go soon, for the dykes will +be opened to-morrow, and who can fly when the whole +country is under water?" + +"Nonsense, sir, we are three to one, sir, against any +force Boney can bring into the field," Mr. Sedley +objected; "the Austrians and the Russians are on their +march. He must, he shall be crushed," Jos said, slapping +his hand on the table. + +"The Prussians were three to one at Jena, and he +took their army and kingdom in a week. They were +six to one at Montmirail, and he scattered them like sheep. +The Austrian army is coming, but with the Empress and +the King of Rome at its head; and the Russians, bah! +the Russians will withdraw. No quarter is to be given +to the English, on account of their cruelty to our braves +on board the infamous pontoons. Look here, here it is +in black and white. Here's the proclamation of his +Majesty the Emperor and King," said the now declared +partisan of Napoleon, and taking the document from his +pocket, Isidor sternly thrust it into his master's face, +and already looked upon the frogged coat and valuables +as his own spoil. + +Jos was, if not seriously alarmed as yet, at least +considerably disturbed in mind. "Give me my coat and cap, +sir, said he, "and follow me. I will go myself and learn +the truth of these reports." Isidor was furious as Jos put +on the braided frock. "Milor had better.not wear that +military coat," said he; "the Frenchmen have sworn not +to give quarter to a single British soldier." + +"Silence, sirrah!" said Jos, with a resolute countenance +still, and thrust his arm into the sleeve with indomitable +resolution, in the performance of which heroic act he +was found by Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who at this juncture +came up to visit Amelia, and entered without ringing +at the antechamber door. + +Rebecca was dressed very neatly and smartly, as usual: +her quiet sleep after Rawdon's departure had refreshed +her, and her pink smiling cheeks were quite pleasant to +look at, in a town and on a day when everybody else's +countenance wore the appearance of the deepest anxiety +and gloom. She laughed at the attitude in which Jos was +discovered, and the struggles and convulsions with which +the stout gentleman thrust himself into the braided coat. + +"Are you preparing to join the army, Mr. Joseph?" +she said. "Is there to be nobody left in Brussels to +protect us poor women?" Jos succeeded in plunging into +the coat, and came forward blushing and stuttering out +excuses to his fair visitor. "How was she after the events +of the morning--after the fatigues of the ball the night +before?" Monsieur Isidor disappeared into his master's +adjacent bedroom, bearing off the flowered dressing-gown. + +"How good of you to ask," said she, pressing one of +his hands in both her own. "How cool and collected you +look when everybody else is frightened! How is our dear +little Emmy? It must have been an awful, awful parting." + +"Tremendous," Jos said. + +"You men can bear anything," replied the lady. "Parting +or danger are nothing to you. Own now that you +were going to join the army and leave us to our fate. +I know you were--something tells me you were. I was +so frightened, when the thought came into my head (for +I do sometimes think of you when I am alone, Mr. +Joseph), that I ran off immediately to beg and entreat +you not to fly from us." + +This speech might be interpreted, "My dear sir, should +an accident befall the army, and a retreat be necessary, +you have a very comfortable carriage, in which I +propose to take a seat." I don't know whether Jos +understood the words in this sense. But he was profoundly +mortified by the lady's inattention to him during their +stay at Brussels. He had never been presented to any +of Rawdon Crawley's great acquaintances: he had scarcely +been invited to Rebecca's parties; for he was too timid +to play much, and his presence bored George and Rawdon +equally, who neither of them, perhaps, liked to have a +witness of the amusements in which the pair chose to +indulge. "Ah!" thought Jos, "now she wants me she +comes to me. When there is nobody else in the way she +can think about old Joseph Sedley!" But besides these +doubts he felt flattered at the idea Rebecca expressed +of his courage. + +He blushed a good deal, and put on an air of importance. +"I should like to see the action," he said. "Every +man of any spirit would, you know. I've seen a little +service in India, but nothing on this grand scale." + +"You men would sacrifice anything for a pleasure," +Rebecca answered. "Captain Crawley left me this morning +as gay as if he were going to a hunting party. What +does he care? What do any of you care for the agonies +and tortures of a poor forsaken woman? (I wonder +whether he could really have been going to the troops, +this great lazy gourmand?) Oh! dear Mr. Sedley, I have +come to you for comfort--for consolation. I have been +on my knees all the morning. I tremble at the frightful +danger into which our husbands, our friends, our brave +troops and allies, are rushing. And I come here for shelter, +and find another of my friends--the last remaining to +me--bent upon plunging into the dreadful scene!" + +"My dear madam," Jos replied, now beginning to be +quite soothed, "don't be alarmed. I only said I should +like to go--what Briton would not? But my duty keeps +me here: I can't leave that poor creature in the next +room." And he pointed with his finger to the door of +the chamber in which Amelia was. + +"Good noble brother!" Rebecca said, putting her +handkerchief to her eyes, and smelling the eau-de-cologne +with which it was scented. "I have done you injustice: +you have got a heart. I thought you had not." + +"O, upon my honour!" Jos said, making a motion as +if he would lay his hand upon the spot in question. "You +do me injustice, indeed you do--my dear Mrs. Crawley." + +"I do, now your heart is true to your sister. But I +remember two years ago--when it was false to me!" +Rebecca said, fixing her eyes upon him for an instant, and +then turning away into the window. + +Jos blushed violently. That organ which he was +accused by Rebecca of not possessing began to thump +tumultuously. He recalled the days when he had fled from +her, and the passion which had once inflamed him--the +days when he had driven her in his curricle: when she +had knit the green purse for him: when he had sate +enraptured gazing at her white arms and bright eyes. + +"I know you think me ungrateful," Rebecca continued, +coming out of the window, and once more looking at +him and addressing him in a low tremulous voice. "Your +coldness, your averted looks, your manner when we have +met of late--when I came in just now, all proved it to +me. But were there no reasons why I should avoid you? +Let your own heart answer that question. Do you think +my husband was too much inclined to welcome you? +The only unkind words I have ever had from him (I +will do Captain Crawley that justice) have been about +you--and most cruel, cruel words they were." + +"Good gracious! what have I done?" asked Jos in a +flurry of pleasure and perplexity; "what have I done-- +to--to--?" + +"Is jealousy nothing?" said Rebecca. "He makes me +miserable about you. And whatever it might have been +once--my heart is all his. I am innocent now. Am I +not, Mr. Sedley?" + +All Jos's blood tingled with delight, as he surveyed +this victim to his attractions. A few adroit words, one +or two knowing tender glances of the eyes, and his heart +was inflamed again and his doubts and suspicions +forgotten. From Solomon downwards, have not wiser men +than he been cajoled and befooled by women? "If the +worst comes to the worst," Becky thought, "my retreat +is secure; and I have a right-hand seat in the barouche." + +There is no knowing into what declarations of love +and ardour the tumultuous passions of Mr. Joseph +might have led him, if Isidor the valet had not made +his reappearance at this minute, and begun to busy +himself about the domestic affairs. Jos, who was just going +to gasp out an avowal, choked almost with the emotion +that he was obliged to restrain. Rebecca too bethought +her that it was time she should go in and comfort her +dearest Amelia. "Au revoir," she said, kissing her hand +to Mr. Joseph, and tapped gently at the door of his +sister's apartment. As she entered and closed the door +on herself, he sank down in a chair, and gazed and +sighed and puffed portentously. "That coat is very tight +for Milor," Isidor said, still having his eye on the frogs; +but his master heard him not: his thoughts were +elsewhere: now glowing, maddening, upon the contemplation +of the enchanting Rebecca: anon shrinking guiltily +before the vision of the jealous Rawdon Crawley, with his +curling, fierce mustachios, and his terrible duelling pistols +loaded and cocked. + +Rebecca's appearance struck Amelia with terror, and +made her shrink back. It recalled her to the world and +the remembrance of yesterday. In the overpowering fears +about to-morrow she had forgotten Rebecca--jealousy-- +everything except that her husband was gone and was +in danger. Until this dauntless worldling came in and +broke the spell, and lifted the latch, we too have +forborne to enter into that sad chamber. How long had that +poor girl been on her knees! what hours of speechless +prayer and bitter prostration had she passed there! The +war-chroniclers who write brilliant stories of fight and +triumph scarcely tell us of these. These are too mean +parts of the pageant: and you don't hear widows' cries +or mothers' sobs in the midst of the shouts and jubilation +in the great Chorus of Victory. And yet when was +the time that such have not cried out: heart-broken, +humble protestants, unheard in the uproar of the triumph! + +After the first movement of terror in Amelia's mind +--when Rebecca's green eyes lighted upon her, and +rustling in her fresh silks and brilliant ornaments, the latter +tripped up with extended arms to embrace her--a feeling +of anger succeeded, and from being deadly pale before, +her face flushed up red, and she returned Rebecca's look +after a moment with a steadiness which surprised and +somewhat abashed her rival. + +"Dearest Amelia, you are very unwell," the visitor said, +putting forth her hand to take Amelia's. "What is it? +I could not rest until I knew how you were." + +Amelia drew back her hand--never since her life +began had that gentle soul refused to believe or to +answer any demonstration of good-will or affection. But +she drew back her hand, and trembled all over. "Why +are you here, Rebecca?" she said, still looking at her +solemnly with her large eyes. These glances troubled her +visitor. + +"She must have seen him give me the letter at the +ball," Rebecca thought. "Don't be agitated, dear Amelia," +she said, looking down. "I came but to see if I could-- +if you were well." + +"Are you well?" said Amelia. "I dare say you are. +You don't love your husband. You would not be here if +you did. Tell me, Rebecca, did I ever do you anything +but kindness?" + +"Indeed, Amelia, no," the other said, still hanging +down her head. + +"When you were quite poor, who was it that befriended +you? Was I not a sister to you? You saw us +all in happier days before he married me. I was all in +all then to him; or would he have given up his fortune, +his family, as he nobly did to make me happy? Why did +you come between my love and me? Who sent you to +separate those whom God joined, and take my darling's +heart from me-- my own husband? Do you think you +could I love him as I did? His love was everything to me. +You knew it, and wanted to rob me of it. For shame, +Rebecca; bad and wicked woman--false friend and false +wife." + +"Amelia, I protest before God, I have done my +husband no wrong," Rebecca said, turning from her. + +"Have you done me no wrong, Rebecca? You did not +succeed, but you tried. Ask your heart if you did not." + +She knows nothing, Rebecca thought. + +"He came back to me. I knew he would. I knew that +no falsehood, no flattery, could keep him from me long. +I knew he would come. I prayed so that he should." + +The poor girl spoke these words with a spirit and +volubility which Rebecca had never before seen in her, +and before which the latter was quite dumb. "But what +have I done to you," she continued in a more pitiful tone, +"that you should try and take him from me? I had him +but for six weeks. You might have spared me those, +Rebecca. And yet, from the very first day of our wedding, +you came and blighted it. Now he is gone, are you come +to see how unhappy I am?" she continued. "You made +me wretched enough for the past fortnight: you might +have spared me to-day." + +"I--I never came here," interposed Rebecca, with +unlucky truth. + +"No. You didn't come. You took him away. Are you +come to fetch him from me?" she continued in a wilder +tone. "He was here, but he is gone now. There on that +very sofa he sate. Don't touch it. We sate and talked +there. I was on his knee, and my arms were round his +neck, and we said 'Our Father.' Yes, he was here: and +they came and took him away, but he promised me to +come back." + +"He will come back, my dear," said Rebecca, touched +in spite of herself. + +"Look," said Amelia, "this is his sash--isn't it a pretty +colour?'' and she took up the fringe and kissed it. She +had tied it round her waist at some part of the day. She +had forgotten her anger, her jealousy, the very presence +of her rival seemingly. For she walked silently and almost +with a smile on her face, towards the bed, and began to +smooth down George's pillow. + +Rebecca walked, too, silently away. "How is Amelia?" +asked Jos, who still held his position in the chair. + +"There should be somebody with her," said Rebecca. +"I think she is very unwell": and she went away with a +very grave face, refusing Mr. Sedley's entreaties that she +would stay and partake of the early dinner which he had +ordered. + +Rebecca was of a good-natured and obliging disposition; +and she liked Amelia rather than otherwise. Even +her hard words, reproachful as they were, were +complimentary--the groans of a person stinging under defeat. +Meeting Mrs. O'Dowd, whom the Dean's sermons had +by no means comforted, and who was walking very +disconsolately in the Parc, Rebecca accosted the latter, +rather to the surprise of the Major's wife, who was not +accustomed to such marks of politeness from Mrs. +Rawdon Crawley, and informing her that poor little Mrs. +Osborne was in a desperate condition, and almost mad +with grief, sent off the good-natured Irishwoman straight +to see if she could console her young favourite. + +"I've cares of my own enough," Mrs. O'Dowd said, +gravely, "and I thought poor Amelia would be little +wanting for company this day. But if she's so bad as you +say, and you can't attend to her, who used to be so +fond of her, faith I'll see if I can be of service. And so +good marning to ye, Madam"; with which speech and a +toss of her head, the lady of the repayther took a +farewell of Mrs. Crawley, whose company she by no means +courted. + +Becky watched her marching off, with a smile on her +lip. She had the keenest sense of humour, and the +Parthian look which the retreating Mrs. O'Dowd flung +over her shoulder almost upset Mrs. Crawley's gravity. +"My service to ye, me fine Madam, and I'm glad to see +ye so cheerful," thought Peggy. "It's not YOU that will cry +your eyes out with grief, anyway." And with this she +passed on, and speedily found her way to Mrs. Osborne's +lodgings. + +The poor soul was still at the bedside, where Rebecca +had left her, and stood almost crazy with grief. The +Major's wife, a stronger-minded woman, endeavoured her +best to comfort her young friend. "You must bear up, +Amelia, dear," she said kindly, "for he mustn't find you +ill when he sends for you after the victory. It's not you +are the only woman that are in the hands of God this +day." + +"I know that. I am very wicked, very weak," Amelia +said. She knew her own weakness well enough. The +presence of the more resolute friend checked it, however; and +she was the better of this control and company. They +went on till two o'clock; their hearts were with the column +as it marched farther and farther away. Dreadful doubt +and anguish--prayers and fears and griefs unspeakable-- +followed the regiment. It was the women's tribute to the +war. It taxes both alike, and takes the blood of the men, +and the tears of the women. + +At half-past two, an event occurred of daily importance +to Mr. Joseph: the dinner-hour arrived. Warriors +may fight and perish, but he must dine. He came into +Amelia's room to see if he could coax her to share that +meal. "Try," said he; "the soup is very good. Do try, +Emmy," and he kissed her hand. Except when she was +married, he had not done so much for years before. "You +are very good and kind, Joseph," she said. "Everybody +is, but, if you please, I will stay in my room to-day." + +The savour of the soup, however, was agreeable to +Mrs. O'Dowd's nostrils: and she thought she would bear +Mr. Jos company. So the two sate down to their meal. +"God bless the meat," said the Major's wife, solemnly: +she was thinking of her honest Mick, riding at the head +of his regiment: " 'Tis but a bad dinner those poor +boys will get to-day," she said, with a sigh, and then, +like a philosopher, fell to. + +Jos's spirits rose with his meal. He would drink the +regiment's health; or, indeed, take any other excuse to +indulge in a glass of champagne. "We'll drink to O'Dowd +and the brave --th," said he, bowing gallantly to his +guest. "Hey, Mrs. O'Dowd? Fill Mrs. O'Dowd's glass, +Isidor." + +But all of a sudden, Isidor started, and the Major's +wife laid down her knife and fork. The windows of the +room were open, and looked southward, and a dull distant +sound came over the sun-lighted roofs from that +direction. ''What is it?" said Jos. "Why don't you pour, you +rascal?" + +"Cest le feu!" said Isidor, running to the balcony. + +"God defend us; it's cannon!" Mrs. O'Dowd cried, +starting up, and followed too to the window. A thousand +pale and anxious faces might have been seen looking +from other casements. And presently it seemed as if the +whole population of the city rushed into the streets. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII + +In Which Jos Takes Flight, and the War Is Brought to a Close + +We of peaceful London City have never beheld--and +please God never shall witness--such a scene of hurry +and alarm, as that which Brussels presented. Crowds +rushed to the Namur gate, from which direction the noise +proceeded, and many rode along the level chaussee, to +be in advance of any intelligence from the army. Each +man asked his neighbour for news; and even great +English lords and ladies condescended to speak to persons +whom they did not know. The friends of the French went +abroad, wild with excitement, and prophesying the +triumph of their Emperor. The merchants closed their +shops, and came out to swell the general chorus of alarm +and clamour. Women rushed to the churches, and +crowded the chapels, and knelt and prayed on the flags +and steps. The dull sound of the cannon went on rolling, +rolling. Presently carriages with travellers began to leave +the town, galloping away by the Ghent barrier. The +prophecies of the French partisans began to pass for +facts. "He has cut the armies in two," it was said. "He is +marching straight on Brussels. He will overpower the +English, and be here to-night." "He will overpower the +English," shrieked Isidor to his master, "and will be here +to-night." The man bounded in and out from the lodgings +to the street, always returning with some fresh particulars +of disaster. Jos's face grew paler and paler. Alarm began +to take entire possession of the stout civilian. All the +champagne he drank brought no courage to him. Before +sunset he was worked up to such a pitch of nervousness +as gratified his friend Isidor to behold, who now counted +surely upon the spoils of the owner of the laced coat. + +The women were away all this time. After hearing +the firing for a moment, the stout Major's wife bethought +her of her friend in the next chamber, and ran in to watch, +and if possible to console, Amelia. The idea that she had +that helpless and gentle creature to protect, gave +additional strength to the natural courage of the honest +Irishwoman. She passed five hours by her friend's side, +sometimes in remonstrance, sometimes talking cheerfully, +oftener in silence and terrified mental supplication. "I +never let go her hand once," said the stout lady +afterwards, "until after sunset, when the firing was over." +Pauline, the bonne, was on her knees at church hard by, +praying for son homme a elle. + +When the noise of the cannonading was over, Mrs. +O'Dowd issued out of Amelia's room into the parlour +adjoining, where Jos sate with two emptied flasks, and +courage entirely gone. Once or twice he had ventured into +his sister's bedroom, looking very much alarmed, and +as if he would say something. But the Major's wife kept +her place, and he went away without disburthening +himself of his speech. He was ashamed to tell her that he +wanted to fly. + +But when she made her appearance in the dining-room, +where he sate in the twilight in the cheerless company +of his empty champagne bottles, he began to open his +mind to her. + +"Mrs. O'Dowd," he said, "hadn't you better get Amelia +ready?" + +"Are you going to take her out for a walk?" said the +Major's lady; "sure she's too weak to stir." + +"I--I've ordered the carriage," he said, "and--and +post-horses; Isidor is gone for them," Jos continued. + +"What do you want with driving to-night?" answered +the lady. "Isn't she better on her bed? I've just got her +to lie down." + +"Get her up," said Jos; "she must get up, I say": and +he stamped his foot energetically. "I say the horses are +ordered--yes, the horses are ordered. It's all over, and--" + +"And what?" asked Mrs. O'Dowd. + +"I'm off for Ghent," Jos answered. "Everybody is +going; there's a place for you! We shall start in half-an- +hour." + +The Major's wife looked at him with infinite scorn. "I +don't move till O'Dowd gives me the route," said she. +"You may go if you like, Mr. Sedley; but, faith, Amelia +and I stop here." + +"She SHALL go," said Jos, with another stamp of his +foot. Mrs. O'Dowd put herself with arms akimbo before +the bedroom door. + +"Is it her mother you're going to take her to?" she +said; "or do you want to go to Mamma yourself, Mr. +Sedley? Good marning--a pleasant journey to ye, sir. +Bon voyage, as they say, and take my counsel, and shave +off them mustachios, or they'll bring you into mischief." + +"D--n!" yelled out Jos, wild with fear, rage, and +mortification; and Isidor came in at this juncture, swearing in +his turn. "Pas de chevaux, sacre bleu!" hissed out the +furious domestic. All the horses were gone. Jos was +not the only man in Brussels seized with panic that day. + +But Jos's fears, great and cruel as they were already, +were destined to increase to an almost frantic pitch +before the night was over. It has been mentioned how +Pauline, the bonne, had son homme a elle also in the +ranks of the army that had gone out to meet the Emperor +Napoleon. This lover was a native of Brussels, and a +Belgian hussar. The troops of his nation signalised +themselves in this war for anything but courage, and young +Van Cutsum, Pauline's admirer, was too good a soldier +to disobey his Colonel's orders to run away. Whilst in +garrison at Brussels young Regulus (he had been born in +the revolutionary times) found his great comfort, and +passed almost all his leisure moments, in Pauline's +kitchen; and it was with pockets and holsters crammed +full of good things from her larder, that he had take +leave of his weeping sweetheart, to proceed upon the +campaign a few days before. + +As far as his regiment was concerned, this campaign +was over now. They had formed a part of the division +under the command of his Sovereign apparent, the Prince +of Orange, and as respected length of swords and +mustachios, and the richness of uniform and equipments, +Regulus and his comrades looked to be as gallant a body +of men as ever trumpet sounded for. + +When Ney dashed upon the advance of the allied +troops, carrying one position after the other, until the +arrival of the great body of the British army from +Brussels changed the aspect of the combat of Quatre Bras, +the squadrons among which Regulus rode showed the +greatest activity in retreating before the French, and were +dislodged from one post and another which they occupied +with perfect alacrity on their part. Their movements +were only checked by the advance of the British in their +rear. Thus forced to halt, the enemy's cavalry (whose +bloodthirsty obstinacy cannot be too severely +reprehended) had at length an opportunity of coming to close +quarters with the brave Belgians before them; who +preferred to encounter the British rather than the French, +and at once turning tail rode through the English +regiments that were behind them, and scattered in all +directions. The regiment in fact did not exist any more. It was +nowhere. It had no head-quarters. Regulus found himself +galloping many miles from the field of action, entirely +alone; and whither should he fly for refuge so naturally +as to that kitchen and those faithful arms in which +Pauline had so often welcomed him? + +At some ten o'clock the clinking of a sabre might have +been heard up the stair of the house where the Osbornes +occupied a story in the continental fashion. A knock +might have been heard at the kitchen door; and poor +Pauline, come back from church, fainted almost with +terror as she opened it and saw before her her haggard +hussar. He looked as pale as the midnight dragoon who +came to disturb Leonora. Pauline would have screamed, +but that her cry would have called her masters, and +discovered her friend. She stifled her scream, then, and +leading her hero into the kitchen, gave him beer, and +the choice bits from the dinner, which Jos had not had +the heart to taste. The hussar showed he was no ghost by +the prodigious quantity of flesh and beer which he +devoured--and during the mouthfuls he told his tale of +disaster. + +His regiment had performed prodigies of courage, and +had withstood for a while the onset of the whole French +army. But they were overwhelmed at last, as was the +whole British army by this time. Ney destroyed each +regiment as it came up. The Belgians in vain interposed to +prevent the butchery of the English. The Brunswickers +were routed and had fled--their Duke was killed. It was +a general debacle. He sought to drown his sorrow for +the defeat in floods of beer. + +Isidor, who had come into the kitchen, heard the +conversation and rushed out to inform his master. "It is +all over," he shrieked to Jos. "Milor Duke is a prisoner; +the Duke of Brunswick is killed; the British army is in +full flight; there is only one man escaped, and he is in the +kitchen now--come and hear him." So Jos tottered into +that apartment where Regulus still sate on the kitchen +table, and clung fast to his flagon of beer. In the best +French which he could muster, and which was in sooth +of a very ungrammatical sort, Jos besought the hussar to +tell his tale. The disasters deepened as Regulus spoke. He +was the only man of his regiment not slain on the field. +He had seen the Duke of Brunswick fall, the black +hussars fly, the Ecossais pounded down by the cannon. +"And the --th?" gasped Jos. + +"Cut in pieces," said the hussar--upon which Pauline +cried out, "O my mistress, ma bonne petite dame," went +off fairly into hysterics, and filled the house with her +screams. + +Wild with terror, Mr. Sedley knew not how or where +to seek for safety. He rushed from the kitchen back to +the sitting-room, and cast an appealing look at Amelia's +door, which Mrs. O'Dowd had closed and locked in his +face; but he remembered how scornfully the latter had +received him, and after pausing and listening for a brief +space at the door, he left it, and resolved to go into the +street, for the first time that day. So, seizing a candle, he +looked about for his gold-laced cap, and found it lying in its +usual place, on a console-table, in the anteroom, placed +before a mirror at which Jos used to coquet, always +giving his side-locks a twirl, and his cap the proper cock +over his eye, before he went forth to make appearance in +public. Such is the force of habit, that even in the midst +of his terror he began mechanically to twiddle with his +hair, and arrange the cock of his hat. Then he looked +amazed at the pale face in the glass before him, and +especially at his mustachios, which had attained a rich +growth in the course of near seven weeks, since they had +come into the world. They WILL mistake me for a military +man, thought he, remembering Isidor's warning as +to the massacre with which all the defeated British army +was threatened; and staggering back to his bedchamber, +he began wildly pulling the bell which summoned his +valet. + +Isidor answered that summons. Jos had sunk in a chair +--he had torn off his neckcloths, and turned down his +collars, and was sitting with both his hands lifted to his +throat. + +"Coupez-moi, Isidor," shouted he; "vite! Coupez-moi!" + +Isidor thought for a moment he had gone mad, and +that he wished his valet to cut his throat. + +"Les moustaches," gasped Joe; "les moustaches-- +coupy, rasy, vite!"--his French was of this sort--voluble, +as we have said, but not remarkable for grammar. + +Isidor swept off the mustachios in no time with the +razor, and heard with inexpressible delight his master's +orders that he should fetch a hat and a plain coat. "Ne +porty ploo--habit militair--bonn--bonny a voo, prenny +dehors"--were Jos's words--the coat and cap were at +last his property. + +This gift being made, Jos selected a plain black coat +and waistcoat from his stock, and put on a large white +neckcloth, and a plain beaver. If he could have got a +shovel hat he would have worn it. As it was, you would +have fancied he was a flourishing, large parson of the +Church of England. + +"Venny maintenong," he continued, "sweevy--ally-- +party--dong la roo." And so having said, he plunged +swiftly down the stairs of the house, and passed into the +street. + +Although Regulus had vowed that he was the only +man of his regiment or of the allied army, almost, who +had escaped being cut to pieces by Ney, it appeared +that his statement was incorrect, and that a good number +more of the supposed victims had survived the massacre. +Many scores of Regulus's comrades had found their way +back to Brussels, and all agreeing that they had run +away--filled the whole town with an idea of the defeat +of the allies. The arrival of the French was expected +hourly; the panic continued, and preparations for flight +went on everywhere. No horses! thought Jos, in terror. +He made Isidor inquire of scores of persons, whether +they had any to lend or sell, and his heart sank within +him, at the negative answers returned everywhere. Should +he take the journey on foot? Even fear could not render +that ponderous body so active. + +Almost all the hotels occupied by the English in Brussels +face the Parc, and Jos wandered irresolutely about +in this quarter, with crowds of other people, oppressed as +he was by fear and curiosity. Some families he saw more +happy than himself, having discovered a team of horses, +and rattling through the streets in retreat; others again +there were whose case was like his own, and who +could not for any bribes or entreaties procure the +necessary means of flight. Amongst these would-be fugitives, +Jos remarked the Lady Bareacres and her daughter, who +sate in their carriage in the porte-cochere of their hotel, +all their imperials packed, and the only drawback to +whose flight was the same want of motive power which +kept Jos stationary. + +Rebecca Crawley occupied apartments in this hotel; +and had before this period had sundry hostile meetings +with the ladies of the Bareacres family. My Lady +Bareacres cut Mrs. Crawley on the stairs when they met +by chance; and in all places where the latter's name was +mentioned, spoke perseveringly ill of her neighbour. The +Countess was shocked at the familiarity of General Tufto +with the aide-de-camp's wife. The Lady Blanche avoided +her as if she had been an infectious disease. Only the +Earl himself kept up a sly occasional acquaintance with +her, when out of the jurisdiction of his ladies. + +Rebecca had her revenge now upon these insolent +enemies. If became known in the hotel that Captain +Crawley's horses had been left behind, and when the +panic began, Lady Bareacres condescended to send her +maid to the Captain's wife with her Ladyship's compliments, +and a desire to know the price of Mrs. Crawley's +horses. Mrs. Crawley returned a note with her compliments, +and an intimation that it was not her custom to +transact bargains with ladies' maids. + +This curt reply brought the Earl in person to Becky's +apartment; but he could get no more success than the +first ambassador. "Send a lady's maid to ME!" Mrs. +Crawley cried in great anger; "why didn't my Lady +Bareacres tell me to go and saddle the horses! Is it her +Ladyship that wants to escape, or her Ladyship's femme +de chambre?" And this was all the answer that the Earl +bore back to his Countess. + +What will not necessity do? The Countess herself +actually came to wait upon Mrs. Crawley on the failure +of her second envoy. She entreated her to name her own +price; she even offered to invite Becky to Bareacres +House, if the latter would but give her the means of +returning to that residence. Mrs. Crawley sneered at her. + +"I don't want to be waited on by bailiffs in livery," she +said; "you will never get back though most probably-- +at least not you and your diamonds together. The French +will have those They will be here in two hours, and I +shall be half way to Ghent by that time. I would not sell +you my horses, no, not for the two largest diamonds that +your Ladyship wore at the ball." Lady Bareacres trembled +with rage and terror. The diamonds were sewed into her +habit, and secreted in my Lord's padding and boots. +"Woman, the diamonds are at the banker's, and I WILL +have the horses," she said. Rebecca laughed in her face. +The infuriate Countess went below, and sate in her +carriage; her maid, her courier, and her husband were sent +once more through the town, each to look for cattle; and +woe betide those who came last! Her Ladyship was +resolved on departing the very instant the horses arrived +from any quarter--with her husband or without him. + +Rebecca had the pleasure of seeing her Ladyship in +the horseless carriage, and keeping her eyes fixed upon +her, and bewailing, in the loudest tone of voice, the +Countess's perplexities. "Not to be able to get horses!" +she said, "and to have all those diamonds sewed into the +carriage cushions! What a prize it will be for the French +when they come!--the carriage and the diamonds, I mean; +not the lady!" She gave this information to the landlord, +to the servants, to the guests, and the innumerable +stragglers about the courtyard. Lady Bareacres could have +shot her from the carriage window. + +It was while enjoying the humiliation of her enemy that +Rebecca caught sight of Jos, who made towards her +directly he perceived her. + +That altered, frightened, fat face, told his secret well +enough. He too wanted to fly, and was on the look-out +for the means of escape. "HE shall buy my horses," +thought Rebecca, "and I'll ride the mare." + +Jos walked up to his friend, and put the question for +the hundredth time during the past hour, "Did she know +where horses were to be had?" + +"What, YOU fly?" said Rebecca, with a laugh. "I +thought you were the champion of all the ladies, Mr. +Sedley." + +"I--I'm not a military man," gasped he. + +"And Amelia?--Who is to protect that poor little sister +of yours?" asked Rebecca. "You surely would not desert +her?" + +"What good can I do her, suppose--suppose the enemy +arrive?" Jos answered. "They'll spare the women; but my +man tells me that they have taken an oath to give no +quarter to the men--the dastardly cowards." + +"Horrid!" cried Rebecca, enjoying his perplexity. + +"Besides, I don't want to desert her," cried the brother. +"She SHAN'T be deserted. There is a seat for her in my +carriage, and one for you, dear Mrs. Crawley, if you will +come; and if we can get horses--" sighed he-- + +"I have two to sell," the lady said. Jos could have +flung himself into her arms at the news. "Get the carriage, +Isidor," he cried; "we've found them--we have found +them." + +My horses never were in harness," added the lady. +"Bullfinch would kick the carriage to pieces, if you put +him in the traces." + +"But he is quiet to ride?" asked the civilian. + +"As quiet as a lamb, and as fast as a hare," answered +Rebecca. + +"Do you think he is up to my weight?" Jos said. He +was already on his back, in imagination, without ever so +much as a thought for poor Amelia. What person who +loved a horse-speculation could resist such a temptation? + +In reply, Rebecca asked him to come into her room, +whither he followed her quite breathless to conclude the +bargain. Jos seldom spent a half-hour in his life which +cost him so much money. Rebecca, measuring the value +of the goods which she had for sale by Jos's eagerness to +purchase, as well as by the scarcity of the article, put +upon her horses a price so prodigious as to make even +the civilian draw back. "She would sell both or neither," +she said, resolutely. Rawdon had ordered her not to part +with them for a price less than that which she specified. +Lord Bareacres below would give her the same money-- +and with all her love and regard for the Sedley family, +her dear Mr. Joseph must conceive that poor people must +live--nobody, in a word, could be more affectionate, but +more firm about the matter of business. + +Jos ended by agreeing, as might be supposed of him. +The sum he had to give her was so large that he was +obliged to ask for time; so large as to be a little fortune +to Rebecca, who rapidly calculated that with this sum, +and the sale of the residue of Rawdon's effects, and her +pension as a widow should he fall, she would now be +absolutely independent of the world, and might look her +weeds steadily in the face. + +Once or twice in the day she certainly had herself +thought about flying. But her reason gave her better +counsel. "Suppose the French do come," thought Becky, +"what can they do to a poor officer's widow? Bah! the +times of sacks and sieges are over. We shall be let to go +home quietly, or I may live pleasantly abroad with a snug +little income." + +Meanwhile Jos and Isidor went off to the stables to +inspect the newly purchased cattle. Jos bade his man +saddle the horses at once. He would ride away that very +night, that very hour. And he left the valet busy in getting +the horses ready, and went homewards himself to +prepare for his departure. It must be secret. He would go to +his chamber by the back entrance. He did not care to face +Mrs. O'Dowd and Amelia, and own to them that he was +about to run. + +By the time Jos's bargain with Rebecca was completed, +and his horses had been visited and examined, it was +almost morning once more. But though midnight was long +passed, there was no rest for the city; the people were +up, the lights in the houses flamed, crowds were still +about the doors, and the streets were busy. Rumours of +various natures went still from mouth to mouth: one +report averred that the Prussians had been utterly +defeated; another that it was the English who had been +attacked and conquered: a third that the latter had held +their ground. This last rumour gradually got strength. No +Frenchmen had made their appearance. Stragglers had +come in from the army bringing reports more and more +favourable: at last an aide-de-camp actually reached +Brussels with despatches for the Commandant of the +place, who placarded presently through the town an +official announcement of the success of the allies at Quatre +Bras, and the entire repulse of the French under Ney +after a six hours' battle. The aide-de-camp must have +arrived sometime while Jos and Rebecca were making their +bargain together, or the latter was inspecting his +purchase. When he reached his own hotel, he found a score +of its numerous inhabitants on the threshold discoursing +of the news; there was no doubt as to its truth. And he +went up to communicate it to the ladies under his charge. +He did not think it was necessary to tell them how he +had intended to take leave of them, how he had bought +horses, and what a price he had paid for them. + +But success or defeat was a minor matter to them, who +had only thought for the safety of those they loved. +Amelia, at the news of the victory, became still more +agitated even than before. She was for going that +moment to the army. She besought her brother with tears to +conduct her thither. Her doubts and terrors reached their +paroxysm; and the poor girl, who for many hours had +been plunged into stupor, raved and ran hither and +thither in hysteric insanity--a piteous sight. No man +writhing in pain on the hard-fought field fifteen miles +off, where lay, after their struggles, so many of the brave +--no man suffered more keenly than this poor harmless +victim of the war. Jos could not bear the sight of her +pain. He left his sister in the charge of her stouter female +companion, and descended once more to the threshold +of the hotel, where everybody still lingered, and talked, +and waited for more news. + +It grew to be broad daylight as they stood here, and +fresh news began to arrive from the war, brought by +men who had been actors in the scene. Wagons and long +country carts laden with wounded came rolling into the +town; ghastly groans came from within them, and +haggard faces looked up sadly from out of the straw. Jos +Sedley was looking at one of these carriages with a +painful curiosity--the moans of the people within were +frightful--the wearied horses could hardly pull the cart. +"Stop! stop!" a feeble voice cried from the straw, and the +carriage stopped opposite Mr. Sedley's hotel. + +"It is George, I know it is!" cried Amelia, rushing in a +moment to the balcony, with a pallid face and loose +flowing hair. It was not George, however, but it was the +next best thing: it was news of him. + +It was poor Tom Stubble, who had marched out of +Brussels so gallantly twenty-four hours before, bearing +the colours of the regiment, which he had defended very +gallantly upon the field. A French lancer had speared the +young ensign in the leg, who fell, still bravely holding to +his flag. At the conclusion of the engagement, a place +had been found for the poor boy in a cart, and he had +been brought back to Brussels. + +"Mr. Sedley, Mr. Sedley!" cried the boy, faintly, and +Jos came up almost frightened at the appeal. He had not +at first distinguished who it was that called him. + +Little Tom Stubble held out his hot and feeble hand. +"I'm to be taken in here," he said. "Osborne--and--and +Dobbin said I was; and you are to give the man two +napoleons: my mother will pay you." This young fellow's +thoughts, during the long feverish hours passed in the +cart, had been wandering to his father's parsonage which +he had quitted only a few months before, and he had +sometimes forgotten his pain in that delirium. + +The hotel was large, and the people kind, and all the +inmates of the cart were taken in and placed on various +couches. The young ensign was conveyed upstairs to +Osborne's quarters. Amelia and the Major's wife had +rushed down to him, when the latter had recognised him +from the balcony. You may fancy the feelings of these +women when they were told that the day was over, and +both their husbands were safe; in what mute rapture +Amelia fell on her good friend's neck, and embraced +her; in what a grateful passion of prayer she fell on her +knees, and thanked the Power which had saved her +husband. + +Our young lady, in her fevered and nervous condition, +could have had no more salutary medicine prescribed for +her by any physician than that which chance put in her +way. She and Mrs. O'Dowd watched incessantly by the +wounded lad, whose pains were very severe, and in the +duty thus forced upon her, Amelia had not time to brood +over her personal anxieties, or to give herself up to her +own fears and forebodings after her wont. The young +patient told in his simple fashion the events of the day, and +the actions of our friends of the gallant --th. They had +suffered severely. They had lost very many officers and +men. The Major's horse had been shot under him as the +regiment charged, and they all thought that O'Dowd was +gone, and that Dobbin had got his majority, until on their +return from the charge to their old ground, the Major was +discovered seated on Pyramus's carcase, refreshing him- +self from a case-bottle. It was Captain Osborne that cut +down the French lancer who had speared the ensign. +Amelia turned so pale at the notion, that Mrs. O'Dowd +stopped the young ensign in this story. And it was +Captain Dobbin who at the end of the day, though wounded +himself, took up the lad in his arms and carried him to +the surgeon, and thence to the cart which was to bring +him back to Brussels. And it was he who promised the +driver two louis if he would make his way to Mr. Sedley's +hotel in the city; and tell Mrs. Captain Osborne that the +action was over, and that her husband was unhurt and +well. + +"Indeed, but he has a good heart that William +Dobbin," Mrs. O'Dowd said, "though he is always laughing +at me." + +Young Stubble vowed there was not such another +officer in the army, and never ceased his praises of the +senior captain, his modesty, his kindness, and his admirable +coolness in the field. To these parts of the conversation, +Amelia lent a very distracted attention: it was only when +George was spoken of that she listened, and when he +was not mentioned, she thought about him. + +In tending her patient, and in thinking of the wonderful +escapes of the day before, her second day passed +away not too slowly with Amelia. There was only one +man in the army for her: and as long as he was well, it +must be owned that its movements interested her little. +All the reports which Jos brought from the streets fell +very vaguely on her ears; though they were sufficient to +give that timorous gentleman, and many other people +then in Brussels, every disquiet. The French had been +repulsed certainly, but it was after a severe and doubtful +struggle, and with only a division of the French army. +The Emperor, with the main body, was away at Ligny, +where he had utterly annihilated the Prussians, and was +now free to bring his whole force to bear upon the allies. +The Duke of Wellington was retreating upon the capital, +and a great battle must be fought under its walls +probably, of which the chances were more than doubtful. +The Duke of Wellington had but twenty thousand British +troops on whom he could rely, for the Germans were +raw militia, the Belgians disaffected, and with this handful +his Grace had to resist a hundred and fifty thousand men +that had broken into Belgium under Napoleon. Under +Napoleon! What warrior was there, however famous and +skilful, that could fight at odds with him? + +Jos thought of all these things, and trembled. So did +all the rest of Brussels--where people felt that the fight +of the day before was but the prelude to the greater +combat which was imminent. One of the armies opposed to +the Emperor was scattered to the winds already. The +few English that could be brought to resist him would +perish at their posts, and the conqueror would pass over +their bodies into the city. Woe be to those whom he +found there! Addresses were prepared, public functionaries assembled and debated secretly, apartments were +got ready, and tricoloured banners and triumphal +emblems manufactured, to welcome the arrival of His +Majesty the Emperor and King. + +The emigration still continued, and wherever families +could find means of departure, they fled. When Jos, on +the afternoon of the 17th of June, went to Rebecca's +hotel, he found that the great Bareacres' carriage had at +length rolled away from the porte-cochere. The Earl +had procured a pair of horses somehow, in spite of Mrs. +Crawley, and was rolling on the road to Ghent. Louis the +Desired was getting ready his portmanteau in that city, +too. It seemed as if Misfortune was never tired of +worrying into motion that unwieldy exile. + +Jos felt that the delay of yesterday had been only a +respite, and that his dearly bought horses must of a +surety be put into requisition. His agonies were very +severe all this day. As long as there was an English army +between Brussels and Napoleon, there was no need of +immediate flight; but he had his horses brought from +their distant stables, to the stables in the court-yard of +the hotel where he lived; so that they might be under his +own eyes, and beyond the risk of violent abduction. +Isidor watched the stable-door constantly, and had the +horses saddled, to be ready for the start. He longed +intensely for that event. + +After the reception of the previous day, Rebecca did +not care to come near her dear Amelia. She clipped the +bouquet which George had brought her, and gave fresh +water to the flowers, and read over the letter which he +had sent her. "Poor wretch," she said, twirling round the +little bit of paper in her fingers, "how I could crush her +with this!--and it is for a thing like this that she must +break her heart, forsooth--for a man who is stupid--a +coxcomb--and who does not care for her. My poor good +Rawdon is worth ten of this creature." And then she fell +to thinking what she should do if--if anything happened +to poor good Rawdon, and what a great piece of luck it +was that he had left his horses behind. + +In the course of this day too, Mrs. Crawley, who saw +not without anger the Bareacres party drive off, +bethought her of the precaution which the Countess had +taken, and did a little needlework for her own advantage; +she stitched away the major part of her trinkets, bills, +and bank-notes about her person, and so prepared, was +ready for any event--to fly if she thought fit, or to stay +and welcome the conqueror, were he Englishman or +Frenchman. And I am not sure that she did not dream +that night of becoming a duchess and Madame la +Marechale, while Rawdon wrapped in his cloak, and making +his bivouac under the rain at Mount Saint John, was +thinking, with all the force of his heart, about the little +wife whom he had left behind him. + +The next day was a Sunday. And Mrs. Major O'Dowd +had the satisfaction of seeing both her patients refreshed +in health and spirits by some rest which they had taken +during the night. She herself had slept on a great chair in +Amelia's room, ready to wait upon her poor friend or the +ensign, should either need her nursing. When morning +came, this robust woman went back to the house where +she and her Major had their billet; and here performed +an elaborate and splendid toilette, befitting the day. And +it is very possible that whilst alone in that chamber, which +her husband had inhabited, and where his cap still lay on +the pillow, and his cane stood in the corner, one prayer at +least was sent up to Heaven for the welfare of the brave +soldier, Michael O'Dowd. + +When she returned she brought her prayer-book with +her, and her uncle the Dean's famous book of sermons, +out of which she never failed to read every Sabbath; not +understanding all, haply, not pronouncing many of the +words aright, which were long and abstruse--for the +Dean was a learned man, and loved long Latin words-- +but with great gravity, vast emphasis, and with tolerable +correctness in the main. How often has my Mick listened +to these sermons, she thought, and me reading in the +cabin of a calm! She proposed to resume this exercise on +the present day, with Amelia and the wounded ensign +for a congregation. The same service was read on that +day in twenty thousand churches at the same hour; and +millions of British men and women, on their knees, +implored protection of the Father of all. + +They did not hear the noise which disturbed our little +congregation at Brussels. Much louder than that which +had interrupted them two days previously, as Mrs. +O'Dowd was reading the service in her best voice, the +cannon of Waterloo began to roar. + +When Jos heard that dreadful sound, he made up his +mind that he would bear this perpetual recurrence of +terrors no longer, and would fly at once. He rushed into the +sick man's room, where our three friends had paused in +their prayers, and further interrupted them by a +passionate appeal to Amelia + +"I can't stand it any more, Emmy," he said; 'I won't +stand it; and you must come with me. I have bought a +horse for you--never mind at what price--and you must +dress and come with me, and ride behind Isidor." + +"God forgive me, Mr. Sedley, but you are no better +than a coward," Mrs. O'Dowd said, laying down the +book. + +"I say come, Amelia," the civilian went on; "never +mind what she says; why are we to stop here and be +butchered by the Frenchmen?" + +"You forget the --th, my boy," said the little Stubble, +the wounded hero, from his bed--"and and you +won't leave me, will you, Mrs. O'Dowd?" + +"No, my dear fellow," said she, going up and kissing +the boy. "No harm shall come to you while I stand by. +I don't budge till I get the word from Mick. A pretty +figure I'd be, wouldn't I, stuck behind that chap on a +pillion?" + +This image caused the young patient to burst out +laughing in his bed, and even made Amelia smile. "I +don't ask her," Jos shouted out--"I don't ask that--that +Irishwoman, but you Amelia; once for all, will you +come?" + +"Without my husband, Joseph?" Amelia said, with a +look of wonder, and gave her hand to the Major's wife. +Jos's patience was exhausted. + +"Good-bye, then," he said, shaking his fist in a rage, +and slamming the door by which he retreated. And this +time he really gave his order for march: and mounted in +the court-yard. Mrs. O'Dowd heard the clattering hoofs +of the horses as they issued from the gate; and looking +on, made many scornful remarks on poor Joseph as he +rode down the street with Isidor after him in the laced +cap. The horses, which had not been exercised for some +days, were lively, and sprang about the street. Jos, a +clumsy and timid horseman, did not look to advantage in +the saddle. "Look at him, Amelia dear, driving into the +parlour window. Such a bull in a china-shop I never +saw." And presently the pair of riders disappeared at a +canter down the street leading in the direction of the +Ghent road, Mrs. O'Dowd pursuing them with a fire of +sarcasm so long as they were in sight. + +All that day from morning until past sunset, the +cannon never ceased to roar. It was dark when the +cannonading stopped all of a sudden. + +All of us have read of what occurred during that +interval. The tale is in every Englishman's mouth; and +you and I, who were children when the great battle was +won and lost, are never tired of hearing and recounting +the history of that famous action. Its remembrance +rankles still in the bosoms of millions of the countrymen of +those brave men who lost the day. They pant for an +opportunity of revenging that humiliation; and if a contest, +ending in a victory on their part, should ensue, elating +them in their turn, and leaving its cursed legacy of hatred +and rage behind to us, there is no end to the so-called +glory and shame, and to the alternations of successful +and unsuccessful murder, in which two high-spirited +nations might engage. Centuries hence, we Frenchmen and +Englishmen might be boasting and killing each other still, +carrying out bravely the Devil's code of honour. + +All our friends took their share and fought like men in +the great field. All day long, whilst the women were +praying ten miles away, the lines of the dauntless English +infantry were receiving and repelling the furious charges of +the French horsemen. Guns which were heard at Brussels +were ploughing up their ranks, and comrades falling, and +the resolute survivors closing in. Towards evening, the +attack of the French, repeated and resisted so bravely, +slackened in its fury. They had other foes besides the +British to engage, or were preparing for a final onset. It +came at last: the columns of the Imperial Guard marched +up the hill of Saint Jean, at length and at once to sweep +the English from the height which they had maintained +all day, and spite of all: unscared by the thunder of the +artillery, which hurled death from the English line--the +dark rolling column pressed on and up the hill. It seemed +almost to crest the eminence, when it began to wave and +falter. Then it stopped, still facing the shot. Then at last +the English troops rushed from the post from which no +enemy had been able to dislodge them, and the Guard +turned and fled. + +No more firing was heard at Brussels--the pursuit +rolled miles away. Darkness came down on the field and +city: and Amelia was praying for George, who was lying +on his face, dead, with a bullet through his heart. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII + + +In Which Miss Crawley's Relations Are Very Anxious About Her + +The kind reader must please to remember--while the +army is marching from Flanders, and, after its heroic +actions there, is advancing to take the fortifications on the +frontiers of France, previous to an occupation of that +country--that there are a number of persons living +peaceably in England who have to do with the history at +present in hand, and must come in for their share of the +chronicle. During the time of these battles and dangers, +old Miss Crawley was living at Brighton, very moderately +moved by the great events that were going on. The great +events rendered the newspapers rather interesting, to be +sure, and Briggs read out the Gazette, in which Rawdon +Crawley's gallantry was mentioned with honour, and his +promotion was presently recorded. + +"What a pity that young man has taken such an +irretrievable step in the world!" his aunt said; "with his rank +and distinction he might have married a brewer's +daughter with a quarter of a million--like Miss Grains; or have +looked to ally himself with the best families in England. +He would have had my money some day or other; or his +children would--for I'm not in a hurry to go, Miss Briggs, +although you may be in a hurry to be rid of me; and +instead of that, he is a doomed pauper, with a dancing-girl +for a wife." + +"Will my dear Miss Crawley not cast an eye of +compassion upon the heroic soldier, whose name is inscribed +in the annals of his country's glory?" said Miss Briggs, +who was greatly excited by the Waterloo proceedings, +and loved speaking romantically when there was an +occasion. "Has not the Captain--or the Colonel as I may +now style him--done deeds which make the name of +Crawley illustrious?" + +"Briggs, you are a fool," said Miss Crawley: "Colonel +Crawley has dragged the name of Crawley through the +mud, Miss Briggs. Marry a drawing-master's daughter, +indeed!--marry a dame de compagnie--for she was no +better, Briggs; no, she was just what you are--only younger, +and a great deal prettier and cleverer. Were you an +accomplice of that abandoned wretch, I wonder, of whose +vile arts he became a victim, and of whom you used to +be such an admirer? Yes, I daresay you were an accomplice. +But you will find yourself disappointed in my will, +I can tell you: and you will have the goodness to write to +Mr. Waxy, and say that I desire to see him immediately." +Miss Crawley was now in the habit of writing to Mr. +Waxy her solicitor almost every day in the week, for her +arrangements respecting her property were all revoked, +and her perplexity was great as to the future disposition +of her money. + +The spinster had, however, rallied considerably; as +was proved by the increased vigour and frequency of her +sarcasms upon Miss Briggs, all which attacks the poor +companion bore with meekness, with cowardice, with a +resignation that was half generous and half hypocritical +--with the slavish submission, in a word, that women of +her disposition and station are compelled to show. Who +has not seen how women bully women? What tortures +have men to endure, comparable to those daily repeated +shafts of scorn and cruelty with which poor women are +riddled by the tyrants of their sex? Poor victims! But we +are starting from our proposition, which is, that Miss +Crawley was always particularly annoying and savage +when she was rallying from illness--as they say wounds +tingle most when they are about to heal. + +While thus approaching, as all hoped, to convalescence, +Miss Briggs was the only victim admitted into the +presence of the invalid; yet Miss Crawley's relatives afar +off did not forget their beloved kinswoman, and by a +number of tokens, presents, and kind affectionate +messages, strove to keep themselves alive in her +recollection. + +In the first place, let us mention her nephew, Rawdon +Crawley. A few weeks after the famous fight of Waterloo, +and after the Gazette had made known to her the promotion +and gallantry of that distinguished officer, the Dieppe +packet brought over to Miss Crawley at Brighton, a box +containing presents, and a dutiful letter, from the +Colonel her nephew. In the box were a pair of French +epaulets, a Cross of the Legion of Honour, and the hilt of a +sword--relics from the field of battle: and the letter +described with a good deal of humour how the latter +belonged to a commanding officer of the Guard, who having +sworn that "the Guard died, but never surrendered," +was taken prisoner the next minute by a private soldier, +who broke the Frenchman's sword with the butt of his +musket, when Rawdon made himself master of the +shattered weapon. As for the cross and epaulets, they came +from a Colonel of French cavalry, who had fallen under +the aide-de-camp's arm in the battle: and Rawdon Crawley +did not know what better to do with the spoils than +to send them to his kindest and most affectionate old +friend. Should he continue to write to her from Paris, +whither the army was marching? He might be able to +give her interesting news from that capital, and of some +of Miss Crawley's old friends of the emigration, to whom +she had shown so much kindness during their distress. + +The spinster caused Briggs to write back to the Colonel +a gracious and complimentary letter, encouraging +him to continue his correspondence. His first letter was +so excessively lively and amusing that she should look +with pleasure for its successors.--"Of course, I know," +she explained to,Miss Briggs, "that Rawdon could not +write such a good letter any more than you could, my +poor Briggs, and that it is that clever little wretch of a +Rebecca, who dictates every word to him; but that is no +reason why my nephew should not amuse me; and so I +wish to let him understand that I am in high good +humour." + +I wonder whether she knew that it was not only Becky +who wrote the letters, but that Mrs. Rawdon actually +took and sent home the trophies which she bought for a +few francs, from one of the innumerable pedlars who +immediately began to deal in relics of the war. The +novelist, who knows everything, knows this also. Be this, +however, as it may, Miss Crawley's gracious reply greatly +encouraged our young friends, Rawdon and his lady, who +hoped for the best from their aunt's evidently pacified +humour: and they took care to entertain her with many +delightful letters from Paris, whither, as Rawdon said, +they had the good luck to go in the track of the +conquering army. + +To the rector's lady, who went off to tend her +husband's broken collar-bone at the Rectory at Queen's +Crawley, the spinster's communications were by no +means so gracious. Mrs. Bute, that brisk, managing, +lively, imperious woman, had committed the most fatal of +all errors with regard to her sister-in-law. She had not +merely oppressed her and her household--she had bored +Miss Crawley; and if poor Miss Briggs had been a +woman of any spirit, she might have been made happy +by the commission which her principal gave her to write +a letter to Mrs. Bute Crawley, saying that Miss Crawley's +health was greatly improved since Mrs. Bute had left her, +and begging the latter on no account to put herself to +trouble, or quit her family for Miss Crawley's sake. This +triumph over a lady who had been very haughty and +cruel in her behaviour to Miss Briggs, would have rejoiced +most women; but the truth is, Briggs was a woman of no +spirit at all, and the moment her enemy was discomfited, +she began to feel compassion in her favour. + +"How silly I was," Mrs. Bute thought, and with +reason, "ever to hint that I was coming, as I did, in that +foolish letter when we sent Miss Crawley the guinea- +fowls. I ought to have gone without a word to the poor +dear doting old creature, and taken her out of the hands +of that ninny Briggs, and that harpy of a femme de +chambre. Oh! Bute, Bute, why did you break your collar- +bone?" + +Why, indeed? We have seen how Mrs. Bute, having the +game in her hands, had really played her cards too well. +She had ruled over Miss Crawley's household utterly and +completely, to be utterly and completely routed when a +favourable opportunity for rebellion came. She and her +household, however, considered that she had been the +victim of horrible selfishness and treason, and that her +sacrifices in Miss Crawley's behalf had met with the most +savage ingratitude. Rawdon's promotion, and the +honourable mention made of his name in the Gazette, filled +this good Christian lady also with alarm. Would his aunt +relent towards him now that he was a Lieutenant-Colonel +and a C.B.? and would that odious Rebecca once more +get into favour? The Rector's wife wrote a sermon for her +husband about the vanity of military glory and the +prosperity of the wicked, which the worthy parson read in +his best voice and without understanding one syllable of +it. He had Pitt Crawley for one of his auditors--Pitt, who +had come with his two half-sisters to church, which.the +old Baronet could now by no means be brought to +frequent. + +Since the departure of Becky Sharp, that old wretch +had given himself up entirely to his bad courses, to the +great scandal of the county and the mute horror of his +son. The ribbons in Miss Horrocks's cap became more +splendid than ever. The polite families fled the hall and +its owner in terror. Sir Pitt went about tippling at his +tenants' houses; and drank rum-and-water with the +farmers at Mudbury and the neighbouring places on +market-days. He drove the family coach-and-four to +Southampton with Miss Horrocks inside: and the county people +expected, every week, as his son did in speechless agony, +that his marriage with her would be announced in the +provincial paper. It was indeed a rude burthen for Mr. +Crawley to bear. His eloquence was palsied at the +missionary meetings, and other religious assemblies in the +neighbourhood, where he had been in the habit of +presiding, and of speaking for hours; for he felt, when he rose, +that the audience said, "That is the son of the old +reprobate Sir Pitt, who is very likely drinking at the public +house at this very moment." And once when he was +speaking of the benighted condition of the king of +Timbuctoo, and the number of his wives who were likewise in +darkness, some gipsy miscreant from the crowd asked, +"How many is there at Queen's Crawley, Young +Squaretoes?" to the surprise of the platform, and the ruin +of Mr. Pitt's speech. And the two daughters of the house of +Queen's Crawley would have been allowed to run utterly +wild (for Sir Pitt swore that no governess should ever +enter into his doors again), had not Mr. Crawley, by +threatening the old gentleman, forced the latter to send +them to school. + +Meanwhile, as we have said, whatever individual +differences there might be between them all, Miss Crawley's +dear nephews and nieces were unanimous in loving her +and sending her tokens of affection. Thus Mrs. Bute sent +guinea-fowls, and some remarkably fine cauliflowers, and +a pretty purse or pincushion worked by her darling girls, +who begged to keep a LITTLE place in the recollection of +their dear aunt, while Mr. Pitt sent peaches and grapes +and venison from the Hall. The Southampton coach used +to carry these tokens of affection to Miss Crawley at +Brighton: it used sometimes to convey Mr. Pitt thither +too: for his differences with Sir Pitt caused Mr. Crawley +to absent himself a good deal from home now: and +besides, he had an attraction at Brighton in the person of +the Lady Jane Sheepshanks, whose engagement to Mr. +Crawley has been formerly mentioned in this history. +Her Ladyship and her sisters lived at Brighton with their +mamma, the Countess Southdown, that strong-minded +woman so favourably known in the serious world. + +A few words ought to be said regarding her Ladyship +and her noble family, who are bound by ties of present +and future relationship to the house of Crawley. +Respecting the chief of the Southdown family, Clement +William, fourth Earl of Southdown, little need be told, +except that his Lordship came into Parliament (as Lord +Wolsey) under the auspices of Mr. Wilberforce, and for +a time was a credit to his political sponsor, and decidedly +a serious young man. But words cannot describe the +feelings of his admirable mother, when she learned, very +shortly after her noble husband's demise, that her son +was a member of several worldly clubs, had lost largely +at play at Wattier's and the Cocoa Tree; that he had +raised money on post-obits, and encumbered the family +estate; that he drove four-in-hand, and patronised the +ring; and that he actually had an opera-box, where he +entertained the most dangerous bachelor company. His +name was only mentioned with groans in the dowager's +circle. + +The Lady Emily was her brother's senior by many +years; and took considerable rank in the serious world as +author of some of the delightful tracts before mentioned, +and of many hymns and spiritual pieces. A mature +spinster, and having but faint ideas of marriage, her love for +the blacks occupied almost all her feelings. It is to her, I +believe, we owe that beautiful poem + +Lead us to some sunny isle, +Yonder in the western deep; +Where the skies for ever smile, +And the blacks for ever weep, &c. + +She had correspondences with clerical gentlemen in +most of our East and West India possessions; and was +secretly attached to the Reverend Silas Hornblower, who +was tattooed in the South Sea Islands. + +As for the Lady Jane, on whom, as it has been said, Mr. +Pitt Crawley's affection had been placed, she was gentle, +blushing, silent, and timid. In spite of his falling away, +she wept for her brother, and was quite ashamed of +loving him still. Even yet she used to send him little hurried +smuggled notes, and pop them into the post in private. +The one dreadful secret which weighed upon her life was, +that she and the old housekeeper had been to pay +Southdown a furtive visit at his chambers in the Albany; and +found him--O the naughty dear abandoned wretch!-- +smoking a cigar with a bottle of Curacao before him. She +admired her sister, she adored her mother, she thought +Mr. Crawley the most delightful and accomplished of +men, after Southdown, that fallen angel: and her mamma +and sister, who were ladies of the most superior sort, +managed everything for her, and regarded her with that +amiable pity, of which your really superior woman always +has such a share to give away. Her mamma ordered her +dresses, her books, her bonnets, and her ideas for her. +She was made to take pony-riding, or piano-exercise, or +any other sort of bodily medicament, according as my +Lady Southdown saw meet; and her ladyship would have +kept her daughter in pinafores up to her present age of +six-and-twenty, but that they were thrown off when Lady +Jane was presented to Queen Charlotte. + +When these ladies first came to their house at Brighton, +it was to them alone that Mr. Crawley paid his personal +visits, contenting himself by leaving a card at his aunt's +house, and making a modest inquiry of Mr. Bowls or his +assistant footman, with respect to the health of the +invalid. When he met Miss Briggs coming home from the +library with a cargo of novels under her arm, Mr. Crawley +blushed in a manner quite unusual to him, as he +stepped forward and shook Miss Crawley's companion by +the hand. He introduced Miss Briggs to the lady with +whom he happened to be walking, the Lady Jane +Sheepshanks, saying, "Lady Jane, permit me to introduce to +you my aunt's kindest friend and most affectionate +companion, Miss Briggs, whom you know under another title, +as authoress of the delightful 'Lyrics of the Heart,' of +which you are so fond." Lady Jane blushed too as she +held out a kind little hand to Miss Briggs, and said +something very civil and incoherent about mamma, and +proposing to call on Miss Crawley, and being glad to be +made known to the friends and relatives of Mr. Crawley; +and with soft dove-like eyes saluted Miss Briggs as +they separated, while Pitt Crawley treated her to a +profound courtly bow, such as he had used to H.H. the +Duchess of Pumpernickel, when he was attache at that court. + +The artful diplomatist and disciple of the Machiavellian +Binkie! It was he who had given Lady Jane that copy of +poor Briggs's early poems, which he remembered to have +seen at Queen's Crawley, with a dedication from the +poetess to his father's late wife; and he brought the +volume with him to Brighton, reading it in the Southampton +coach and marking it with his own pencil, before he +presented it to the gentle Lady Jane. + +It was he, too, who laid before Lady Southdown the +great advantages which might occur from an intimacy +between her family and Miss Crawley--advantages both +worldly and spiritual, he said: for Miss Crawley was now +quite alone; the monstrous dissipation and alliance of his +brother Rawdon had estranged her affections from that +reprobate young man; the greedy tyranny and avarice of +Mrs. Bute Crawley had caused the old lady to revolt +against the exorbitant pretensions of that part of the +family; and though he himself had held off all his life from +cultivating Miss Crawley's friendship, with perhaps an +improper pride, he thought now that every becoming +means should be taken, both to save her soul from +perdition, and to secure her fortune to himself as the head of +the house of Crawley. + +The strong-minded Lady Southdown quite agreed in +both proposals of her son-in-law, and was for converting +Miss Crawley off-hand. At her own home, both at +Southdown and at Trottermore Castle, this tall and awful +missionary of the truth rode about the country in her +barouche with outriders, launched packets of tracts among +the cottagers and tenants, and would order Gaffer Jones +to be converted, as she would order Goody Hicks to take +a James's powder, without appeal, resistance, or benefit of +clergy. My Lord Southdown, her late husband, an epileptic +and simple-minded nobleman, was in the habit of +approving of everything which his Matilda did and +thought. So that whatever changes her own belief might +undergo (and it accommodated itself to a prodigious +variety of opinion, taken from all sorts of doctors among +the Dissenters) she had not the least scruple in ordering +all her tenants and inferiors to follow and believe after +her. Thus whether she received the Reverend Saunders +McNitre, the Scotch divine; or the Reverend Luke Waters, +the mild Wesleyan; or the Reverend Giles Jowls, the +illuminated Cobbler, who dubbed himself Reverend as +Napoleon crowned himself Emperor--the household, +children, tenantry of my Lady Southdown were expected to +go down on their knees with her Ladyship, and say Amen +to the prayers of either Doctor. During these exercises old +Southdown, on account of his invalid condition, was +allowed to sit in his own room, and have negus and the +paper read to him. Lady Jane was the old Earl's favourite +daughter, and tended him and loved him sincerely: as for +Lady Emily, the authoress of the "Washerwoman of +Finchley Common," her denunciations of future punishment +(at this period, for her opinions modified afterwards) +were so awful that they used to frighten the timid +old gentleman her father, and the physicians declared his +fits always occurred after one of her Ladyship's sermons. + +"I will certainly call," said Lady Southdown then, in +reply to the exhortation of her daughter's pretendu, Mr. +Pitt Crawley--"Who is Miss Crawley's medical man?" + +Mr. Crawley mentioned the name of Mr. Creamer. + +"A most dangerous and ignorant practitioner, my dear +Pitt. I have providentially been the means of removing +him from several houses: though in one or two +instances I did not arrive in time. I could not save poor +dear General Glanders, who was dying under the hands of +that ignorant man--dying. He rallied a little under the +Podgers' pills which I administered to him; but alas! it +was too late. His death was delightful, however; and his +change was only for the better; Creamer, my dear Pitt, +must leave your aunt." + +Pitt expressed his perfect acquiescence. He, too, had +been carried along by the energy of his noble kinswoman, +and future mother-in-law. He had been made to accept +Saunders McNitre, Luke Waters, Giles Jowls, Podgers' +Pills, Rodgers' Pills, Pokey's Elixir, every one of her +Ladyship's remedies spiritual or temporal. He never left +her house without carrying respectfully away with him +piles of her quack theology and medicine. O, my dear +brethren and fellow-sojourners in Vanity Fair, which +among you does not know and suffer under such +benevolent despots? It is in vain you say to them, "Dear +Madam, I took Podgers' specific at your orders last year, +and believe in it. Why, why am I to recant and accept the +Rodgers' articles now?" There is no help for it; the faithful proselytizer, if she cannot convince by argument, +bursts into tears, and the refusant finds himself, at the +end of the contest, taking down the bolus, and saying, +"Well, well, Rodgers' be it." + +"And as for her spiritual state," continued the Lady, +"that of course must be looked to immediately: with +Creamer about her, she may go off any day: and in what +a condition, my dear Pitt, in what a dreadful condition! +I will send the Reverend Mr. Irons to her instantly. Jane, +write a line to the Reverend Bartholomew Irons, in the +third person, and say that I desire the pleasure of his +company this evening at tea at half-past six. He is an +awakening man; he ought to see Miss Crawley before she +rests this night. And Emily, my love, get ready a packet +of books for Miss Crawley. Put up 'A Voice from the +Flames,' 'A Trumpet-warning to Jericho,' and the +'Fleshpots Broken; or, the Converted Cannibal.' " + +"And the 'Washerwoman of Finchley Common,' +Mamma," said Lady Emily. "It is as well to begin +soothingly at first." + +"Stop, my dear ladies," said Pitt, the diplomatist. +"With every deference to the opinion of my beloved and +respected Lady Southdown, I think it would be quite +unadvisable to commence so early upon serious topics with +Miss Crawley. Remember her delicate condition, and how +little, how very little accustomed she has hitherto been +to considerations connected with her immortal welfare." + +"Can we then begin too early, Pitt?" said Lady Emily, +rising with six little books already in her hand. + +"If you begin abruptly, you will frighten her altogether. +I know my aunt's worldly nature so well as to be sure +that any abrupt attempt at conversion will be the very +worst means that can be employed for the welfare of that +unfortunate lady. You will only frighten and annoy her. +She will very likely fling the books away, and refuse all +acquaintance with the givers." + +"You are as worldly as Miss Crawley, Pitt," said Lady +Emily, tossing out of the room, her books in her hand. + +"And I need not tell you, my dear Lady Southdown," +Pitt continued, in a low voice, and without heeding the +interruption, "how fatal a little want of gentleness and +caution may be to any hopes which we may entertain with +regard to the worldly possessions of my aunt. Remember +she has seventy thousand pounds; think of her age, and +her highly nervous and delicate condition; I know that she +has destroyed the will which was made in my brother's +(Colonel Crawley's) favour: it is by soothing that +wounded spirit that we must lead it into the right path, +and not by frightening it; and so I think you will agree +with me that--that--' + +"Of course, of course," Lady Southdown remarked. +"Jane, my love, you need not send that note to Mr. Irons. +If her health is such that discussions fatigue her, we will +wait her amendment. I will call upon Miss Crawley +tomorrow." + +"And if I might suggest, my sweet lady," Pitt said in a +bland tone, "it would be as well not to take our precious +Emily, who is too enthusiastic; but rather that you should +be accompanied by our sweet and dear Lady Jane." + +"Most certainly, Emily would ruin everything," Lady +Southdown said; and this time agreed to forego her usual +practice, which was, as we have said, before she bore +down personally upon any individual whom she proposed +to subjugate, to fire in a quantity of tracts upon the +menaced party (as a charge of the French was always +preceded by a furious cannonade). Lady Southdown, we +say, for the sake of the invalid's health, or for the sake +of her soul's ultimate welfare, or for the sake of her +money, agreed to temporise. + +The next day, the great Southdown female family +carriage, with the Earl's coronet and the lozenge (upon +which the three lambs trottant argent upon the field vert +of the Southdowns, were quartered with sable on a bend +or, three snuff-mulls gules, the cognizance of the house of +Binkie), drove up in state to Miss Crawley's door, and +the tall serious footman handed in to Mr. Bowls her +Ladyship's cards for Miss Crawley, and one likewise for +Miss Briggs. By way of compromise, Lady Emily sent in a +packet in the evening for the latter lady, containing +copies of the "Washerwoman," and other mild and favourite +tracts for Miss B.'s own perusal; and a few for the +servants' hall, viz.: "Crumbs from the Pantry," "The +Frying Pan and the Fire," and "The Livery of Sin," of a +much stronger kind. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV + + +James Crawley's Pipe Is Put Out + +The amiable behaviour of Mr. Crawley, and Lady Jane's +kind reception of her, highly flattered Miss Briggs, who +was enabled to speak a good word for the latter, after +the cards of the Southdown family had been presented to +Miss Crawley. A Countess's card left personally too for +her, Briggs, was not a little pleasing to the poor friendless +companion. "What could Lady Southdown mean by +leaving a card upon you, I wonder, Miss Briggs?" said +the republican Miss Crawley; upon which the companion +meekly said "that she hoped there could be no harm in a +lady of rank taking notice of a poor gentlewoman," and +she put away this card in her work-box amongst her most +cherished personal treasures. Furthermore, Miss Briggs +explained how she had met Mr. Crawley walking with his +cousin and long affianced bride the day before: and she +told how kind and gentle-looking the lady was, and what +a plain, not to say common, dress she had, all the articles +of which, from the bonnet down to the boots, she +described and estimated with female accuracy. + +Miss Crawley allowed Briggs to prattle on without +interrupting her too much. As she got well, she was pining +for society. Mr. Creamer, her medical man, would not +hear of her returning to her old haunts and dissipation in +London. The old spinster was too glad to find any +companionship at Brighton, and not only were the cards +acknowledged the very next day, but Pitt Crawley was +graciously invited to come and see his aunt. He came, +bringing with him Lady Southdown and her daughter. The +dowager did not say a word about the state of Miss +Crawley's soul; but talked with much discretion about the +weather: about the war and the downfall of the monster +Bonaparte: and above all, about doctors, quacks, and the +particular merits of Dr. Podgers, whom she then +patronised. + +During their interview Pitt Crawley made a great +stroke, and one which showed that, had his diplomatic +career not been blighted by early neglect, he might have +risen to a high rank in his profession. When the Countess +Dowager of Southdown fell foul of the Corsican upstart, +as the fashion was in those days, and showed that he was +a monster stained with every conceivable crime, a coward +and a tyrant not fit to live, one whose fall was predicted, +&c., Pitt Crawley suddenly took up the cudgels in favour +of the man of Destiny. He described the First Consul as +he saw him at Paris at the peace of Amiens; when he, Pitt +Crawley, had the gratification of making the acquaintance +of the great and good Mr. Fox, a statesman whom, +however much he might differ with him, it was impossible not +to admire fervently--a statesman who had always had +the highest opinion of the Emperor Napoleon. And he +spoke in terms of the strongest indignation of the faithless +conduct of the allies towards this dethroned monarch, +who, after giving himself generously up to their mercy, +was consigned to an ignoble and cruel banishment, while +a bigoted Popish rabble was tyrannising over France in +his stead. + +This orthodox horror of Romish superstition saved +Pitt Crawley in Lady Southdown's opinion, whilst his +admiration for Fox and Napoleon raised him immeasurably +in Miss Crawley's eyes. Her friendship with that +defunct British statesman was mentioned when we first +introduced her in this history. A true Whig, Miss Crawley +had been in opposition all through the war, and though, to +be sure, the downfall of the Emperor did not very much +agitate the old lady, or his ill-treatment tend to shorten +her life or natural rest, yet Pitt spoke to her heart when +he lauded both her idols; and by that single speech made +immense progress in her favour. + +"And what do you think, my dear?" Miss Crawley said +to the young lady, for whom she had taken a liking at +first sight, as she always did for pretty and modest young +people; though it must be owned her affections cooled as +rapidly as they rose. + +Lady Jane blushed very much, and said "that she did +not understand politics, which she left to wiser heads +than hers; but though Mamma was, no doubt, correct, +Mr. Crawley had spoken beautifully." And when the ladies +were retiring at the conclusion of their visit, Miss Crawley +hoped "Lady Southdown would be so kind as to send +her Lady Jane sometimes, if she could be spared to come +down and console a poor sick lonely old woman." This +promise was graciously accorded, and they separated +upon great terms of amity. + +"Don't let Lady Southdown come again, Pitt," said the +old lady. "She is stupid and pompous, like all your mother's +family, whom I never could endure. But bring that nice +good-natured little Jane as often as ever you please." Pitt +promised that he would do so. He did not tell the Countess +of Southdown what opinion his aunt had formed of +her Ladyship, who, on the contrary, thought that she had +made a most delightful and majestic impression on Miss +Crawley. + +And so, nothing loth to comfort a sick lady, and +perhaps not sorry in her heart to be freed now and again +from the dreary spouting of the Reverend Bartholomew +Irons, and the serious toadies who gathered round the +footstool of the pompous Countess, her mamma, Lady +Jane became a pretty constant visitor to Miss Crawley, +accompanied her in her drives, and solaced many of her +evenings. She was so naturally good and soft, that even +Firkin was not jealous of her; and the gentle Briggs +thought her friend was less cruel to her when kind Lady +Jane was by. Towards her Ladyship Miss Crawley's +manners were charming. The old spinster told her a thousand +anecdotes about her youth, talking to her in a very +different strain from that in which she had been accustomed +to converse with the godless little Rebecca; for there was +that in Lady Jane's innocence which rendered light talking impertinence before her, and Miss Crawley was too +much of a gentlewoman to offend such purity. The young +lady herself had never received kindness except from this +old spinster, and her brother and father: and she repaid +Miss Crawley's engoument by artless sweetness and +friendship. + +In the autumn evenings (when Rebecca was flaunting +at Paris, the gayest among the gay conquerors there, and +our Amelia, our dear wounded Amelia, ah! where was +she?) Lady Jane would be sitting in Miss Crawley's +drawing-room singing sweetly to her, in the twilight, her +little simple songs and hymns, while the sun was setting +and the sea was roaring on the beach. The old spinster +used to wake up when these ditties ceased, and ask for +more. As for Briggs, and the quantity of tears of happiness +which she now shed as she pretended to knit, and +looked out at the splendid ocean darkling before the +windows, and the lamps of heaven beginning more brightly to +shine--who, I say can measure the happiness and +sensibility of Briggs? + +Pitt meanwhile in the dining-room, with a pamphlet on +the Corn Laws or a Missionary Register by his side, took +that kind of recreation which suits romantic and unromantic +men after dinner. He sipped Madeira: built castles +in the air: thought himself a fine fellow: felt himself much +more in love with Jane than he had been any time these +seven years, during which their liaison had lasted without +the slightest impatience on Pitt's part--and slept a good +deal. When the time for coffee came, Mr. Bowls used to +enter in a noisy manner, and summon Squire Pitt, who +would be found in the dark very busy with his pamphlet. + +"I wish, my love, I could get somebody to play piquet +with me," Miss Crawley said one night when this functionary +made his appearance with the candles and the coffee. +"Poor Briggs can no more play than an owl, she is so +stupid" (the spinster always took an opportunity of abusing +Briggs before the servants); "and I think I should +sleep better if I had my game." + +At this Lady Jane blushed to the tips of her little ears, +and down to the ends of her pretty fingers; and when Mr. +Bowls had quitted the room, and the door was quite shut, +she said: + +"Miss Crawley, I can play a little. I used to--to play +a little with poor dear papa." + +"Come and kiss me. Come and kiss me this instant, +you dear good little soul," cried Miss Crawley in an ecstasy: +and in this picturesque and friendly occupation Mr. Pitt +found the old lady and the young one, when he came +upstairs with him pamphlet in his hand. How she did blush +all the evening, that poor Lady Jane! + +It must not be imagined that Mr. Pitt Crawley's artifices +escaped the attention of his dear relations at the +Rectory at Queen's Crawley. Hampshire and Sussex lie +very close together, and Mrs. Bute had friends in the +latter county who took care to inform her of all, and a great +deal more than all, that passed at Miss Crawley's house +at Brighton. Pitt was there more and more. He did not +come for months together to the Hall, where his abominable +old father abandoned himself completely to rum- +and-water, and the odious society of the Horrocks family. +Pitt's success rendered the Rector's family furious, and +Mrs. Bute regretted more (though she confessed less) +than ever her monstrous fault in so insulting Miss Briggs, +and in being so haughty and parsimonious to Bowls and +Firkin, that she had not a single person left in Miss Crawley's household to give her information of what took place +there. "It was all Bute's collar-bone," she persisted in +saying; "if that had not broke, I never would have left her. I +am a martyr to duty and to your odious unclerical habit +of hunting, Bute." + +"Hunting; nonsense! It was you that frightened her, +Barbara," the divine interposed. "You're a clever woman, +but you've got a devil of a temper; and you're a screw +with your money, Barbara." + +"You'd have been screwed in gaol, Bute, if I had not +kept your money." + +"I know I would, my dear," said the Rector, good-naturedly. +"You ARE a clever woman, but you manage too +well, you know": and the pious man consoled himself +with a big glass of port. + +"What the deuce can she find in that spooney of a Pitt +Crawley?" he continued. "The fellow has not pluck enough +to say Bo to a goose. I remember when Rawdon, who is a +man, and be hanged to him, used to flog him round the +stables as if he was a whipping-top: and Pitt would go +howling home to his ma--ha, ha! Why, either of my boys +would whop him with one hand. Jim says he's +remembered at Oxford as Miss Crawley still--the spooney. + +"I say, Barbara," his reverence continued, after a pause. + +"What?" said Barbara, who was biting her nails, and +drumming the table. + +"I say, why not send Jim over to Brighton to see if he +can do anything with the old lady. He's very near getting +his degree, you know. He's only been plucked twice--so +was I--but he's had the advantages of Oxford and a +university education. He knows some of the best chaps there. +He pulls stroke in the Boniface boat. He's a handsome +feller. D-- it, ma'am, let's put him on the old woman, +hey, and tell him to thrash Pitt if he says anything. +Ha, ha, ha! + +"Jim might go down and see her, certainly," the housewife +said; adding with a sigh, "If we could but get one of +the girls into the house; but she could never endure them, +because they are not pretty!" Those unfortunate and +well-educated women made themselves heard from the +neighbouring drawing-room, where they were thrumming +away, with hard fingers, an elaborate music-piece on the +piano-forte, as their mother spoke; and indeed, they were at +music, or at backboard, or at geography, or at history, +the whole day long. But what avail all these accomplishments, +in Vanity Fair, to girls who are short, poor, plain, +and have a bad complexion? Mrs. Bute could think of +nobody but the Curate to take one of them off her hands; +and Jim coming in from the stable at this minute, through +the parlour window, with a short pipe stuck in his +oilskin cap, he and his father fell to talking about odds on +the St. Leger, and the colloquy between the Rector and his +wife ended. + +Mrs. Bute did not augur much good to the cause from +the sending of her son James as an ambassador, and saw +him depart in rather a despairing mood. Nor did the +young fellow himself, when told what his mission was to +be, expect much pleasure or benefit from it; but he was +consoled by the thought that possibly the old lady would +give him some handsome remembrance of her, which +would pay a few of his most pressing bills at the +commencement of the ensuing Oxford term, and so took his +place by the coach from Southampton, and was safely +landed at Brighton on the same evening? with his +portmanteau, his favourite bull-dog Towzer, and an +immense basket of farm and garden produce, from the dear +Rectory folks to the dear Miss Crawley. Considering it +was too late to disturb the invalid lady on the first night +of his arrival, he put up at an inn, and did not wait upon +Miss Crawley until a late hour in the noon of next day. + +James Crawley, when his aunt had last beheld him, was +a gawky lad, at that uncomfortable age when the voice +varies between an unearthly treble and a preternatural +bass; when the face not uncommonly blooms out with +appearances for which Rowland's Kalydor is said to act as +a cure; when boys are seen to shave furtively with their +sister's scissors, and the sight of other young women +produces intolerable sensations of terror in them; when the +great hands and ankles protrude a long way from +garments which have grown too tight for them; when their +presence after dinner is at once frightful to the ladies, who +are whispering in the twilight in the drawing-room, and +inexpressibly odious to the gentlemen over the mahogany, +who are restrained from freedom of intercourse and +delightful interchange of wit by the presence of that gawky +innocence; when, at the conclusion of the second glass, +papa says, "Jack, my boy, go out and see if the evening +holds up," and the youth, willing to be free, yet hurt at +not being yet a man, quits the incomplete banquet. James, +then a hobbadehoy, was now become a young man, +having had the benefits of a university education, and +acquired the inestimable polish which is gained by living in a +fast set at a small college, and contracting debts, and +being rusticated, and being plucked. + +He was a handsome lad, however, when he came to +present himself to his aunt at Brighton, and good looks +were always a title to the fickle old lady's favour. Nor did +his blushes and awkwardness take away from it: she +was pleased with these healthy tokens of the young +gentleman's ingenuousness. + +He said "he had come down for a couple of days to see +a man of his college, and--and to pay my respects to you, +Ma'am, and my father's and mother's, who hope you are +well." + +Pitt was in the room with Miss Crawley when the lad +was announced, and looked very blank when his name +was mentioned. The old lady had plenty of humour, and +enjoyed her correct nephew's perplexity. She asked after +all the people at the Rectory with great interest; and said +she was thinking of paying them a visit. She praised the +lad to his face, and said he was well-grown and very much +improved, and that it was a pity his sisters had not some +of his good looks; and finding, on inquiry, that he had +taken up his quarters at an hotel, would not hear of his +stopping there, but bade Mr. Bowls send for Mr. James +Crawley's things instantly; "and hark ye, Bowls," she +added, with great graciousness, "you will have the +goodness to pay Mr. James's bill." + +She flung Pitt a look of arch triumph, which caused +that diplomatist almost to choke with envy. Much as he +had ingratiated himself with his aunt, she had never yet +invited him to stay under her roof, and here was a young +whipper-snapper, who at first sight was made welcome +there. + +"I beg your pardon, sir," says Bowls, advancing with a +profound bow; "what otel, sir, shall Thomas fetch the +luggage from?" + +"O, dam," said young James, starting up, as if in some +alarm, "I'll go." + +"What!" said Miss Crawley. + +"The Tom Cribb's Arms," said James, blushing deeply. + +Miss Crawley burst out laughing at this title. Mr. +Bowls gave one abrupt guffaw, as a confidential servant +of the family, but choked the rest of the volley; the +diplomatist only smiled. + +"I--I didn't know any better," said James, looking down. +"I've never been here before; it was the coachman told +me." The young story-teller! The fact is, that on the +Southampton coach, the day previous, James Crawley had +met the Tutbury Pet, who was coming to Brighton to +make a match with the Rottingdean Fibber; and enchanted +by the Pet's conversation, had passed the evening in +company with that scientific man and his friends, at the inn +in question. + +"I--I'd best go and settle the score," James continued. +"Couldn't think of asking you, Ma'am," he added, +generously. + +This delicacy made his aunt laugh the more. + +"Go and settle the bill, Bowls," she said, with a wave of +her hand, "and bring it to me." + +Poor lady, she did not know what she had done! "There +--there's a little dawg," said James, looking frightfully +guilty. "I'd best go for him. He bites footmen's calves." + +All the party cried out with laughing at this description; +even Briggs and Lady Jane, who was sitting mute +during the interview between Miss Crawley and her +nephew: and Bowls, without a word, quitted the room. + +Still, by way of punishing her elder nephew, Miss +Crawley persisted in being gracious to the young Oxonian. +There were no limits to her kindness or her compliments +when they once began. She told Pitt he might come to +dinner, and insisted that James should accompany her +in her drive, and paraded him solemnly up and down the +cliff, on the back seat of the barouche. During all this +excursion, she condescended to say civil things to him: +she quoted Italian and French poetry to the poor +bewildered lad, and persisted that he was a fine scholar, +and was perfectly sure he would gain a gold medal, and +be a Senior Wrangler. + +"Haw, haw," laughed James, encouraged by these +compliments; "Senior Wrangler, indeed; that's at the other +shop." + +"What is the other shop, my dear child?" said the lady. + +"Senior Wranglers at Cambridge, not Oxford," said the +scholar, with a knowing air; and would probably have +been more confidential, but that suddenly there +appeared on the cliff in a tax-cart, drawn by a bang-up +pony, dressed in white flannel coats, with mother-of-pearl +buttons, his friends the Tutbury Pet and the Rottingdean +Fibber, with three other gentlemen of their acquaintance, +who all saluted poor James there in the carriage as he +sate. This incident damped the ingenuous youth's spirits, +and no word of yea or nay could he be induced to utter +during the rest of the drive. + +On his return he found his room prepared, and his +portmanteau ready, and might have remarked that Mr. +Bowls's countenance, when the latter conducted him to +his apartments, wore a look of gravity, wonder, and +compassion. But the thought of Mr. Bowls did not enter +his head. He was deploring the dreadful predicament +in which he found himself, in a house full of old women, +jabbering French and Italian, and talking poetry to him. +"Reglarly up a tree, by jingo!" exclaimed the modest +boy, who could not face the gentlest of her sex--not +even Briggs--when she began to talk to him; whereas, +put him at Iffley Lock, and he could out-slang the +boldest bargeman. + +At dinner, James appeared choking in a white +neckcloth, and had the honour of handing my Lady Jane +downstairs, while Briggs and Mr. Crawley followed +afterwards, conducting the old lady, with her apparatus of +bundles, and shawls, and cushions. Half of Briggs's time +at dinner was spent in superintending the invalid's +comfort, and in cutting up chicken for her fat spaniel. James +did not talk much, but he made a point of asking all +the ladies to drink wine, and accepted Mr. Crawley's +challenge, and consumed the greater part of a bottle of +champagne which Mr. Bowls was ordered to produce in +his honour. The ladies having withdrawn, and the two +cousins being left together, Pitt, the ex-diplomatist, be +came very communicative and friendly. He asked after +James's career at college--what his prospects in life +were--hoped heartily he would get on; and, in a word, +was frank and amiable. James's tongue unloosed with +the port, and he told his cousin his life, his prospects, +his debts, his troubles at the little-go, and his rows with +the proctors, filling rapidly from the bottles before him, +and flying from Port to Madeira with joyous activity. + +"The chief pleasure which my aunt has," said Mr. +Crawley, filling his glass, "is that people should do as they +like in her house. This is Liberty Hall, James, and you +can't do Miss Crawley a greater kindness than to do +as you please, and ask for what you will. I know you +have all sneered at me in the country for being a Tory. +Miss Crawley is liberal enough to suit any fancy. She +is a Republican in principle, and despises everything like +rank or title." + +"Why are you going to marry an Earl's daughter?" +said James. + +"My dear friend, remember it is not poor Lady Jane's +fault that she is well born," Pitt replied, with a courtly +air. "She cannot help being a lady. Besides, I am a +Tory, you know." + +"Oh, as for that," said Jim, "there's nothing like old +blood; no, dammy, nothing like it. I'm none of your +radicals. I know what it is to be a gentleman, dammy. +See the chaps in a boat-race; look at the fellers in a +fight; aye, look at a dawg killing rats--which is it wins? +the good-blooded ones. Get some more port, Bowls, old +boy, whilst I buzz this bottle-here. What was I asaying?" + +"I think you were speaking of dogs killing rats," Pitt +remarked mildly, handing his cousin the decanter to +"buzz.~ + +"Killing rats was I? Well, Pitt, are you a sporting +man? Do you want to see a dawg as CAN kill a rat? +If you do, come down with me to Tom Corduroy's, in +Castle Street Mews, and I'll show you such a bull-terrier +as--Pooh! gammon," cried James, bursting out laughing +at his own absurdity--"YOU don't care about a dawg +or rat; it's all nonsense. I'm blest if I think you know +the difference between a dog and a duck." + +"No; by the way," Pitt continued with increased blandness, +"it was about blood you were talking, and the +personal advantages which people derive from patrician +birth. Here's the fresh bottle." + +"Blood's the word," said James, gulping the ruby fluid +down. "Nothing like blood, sir, in hosses, dawgs, AND +men. Why, only last term, just before I was rusticated, +that is, I mean just before I had the measles, ha, ha--there +was me and Ringwood of Christchurch, Bob Ringwood, +Lord Cinqbars' son, having our beer at the Bell at +Blenheim, when the Banbury bargeman offered to fight either +of us for a bowl of punch. I couldn't. My arm was in a +sling; couldn't even take the drag down--a brute of a +mare of mine had fell with me only two days before, +out with the Abingdon, and I thought my arm was broke. +Well, sir, I couldn't finish him, but Bob had his coat +off at once--he stood up to the Banbury man for three +minutes, and polished him off in four rounds easy. Gad, +how he did drop, sir, and what was it? Blood, sir, all +blood." + +"You don't drink, James," the ex-attache continued. +"In my time at Oxford, the men passed round the bottle +a little quicker than you young fellows seem to do." + +"Come, come," said James, putting his hand to his +nose and winking at his cousin with a pair of vinous +eyes, "no jokes, old boy; no trying it on on me. You +want to trot me out, but it's no go. In vino veritas, old +boy. Mars, Bacchus, Apollo virorum, hey? I wish my +aunt would send down some of this to the governor; it's +a precious good tap." + +"You had better ask her," Machiavel continued, "or +make the best of your time now. What says the bard? +'Nunc vino pellite curas, Cras ingens iterabimus aequor,' " +and the Bacchanalian, quoting the above with a House +of Commons air, tossed off nearly a thimbleful of wine +with an immense flourish of his glass. + +At the Rectory, when the bottle of port wine was +opened after dinner, the young ladies had each a glass +from a bottle of currant wine. Mrs. Bute took one glass +of port, honest James had a couple commonly, but as +his father grew very sulky if he made further inroads +on the bottle, the good lad generally refrained from +trying for more, and subsided either into the currant wine, +or to some private gin-and-water in the stables, which +he enjoyed in the company of the coachman and his +pipe. At Oxford, the quantity of wine was unlimited, +but the quality was inferior: but when quantity and +quality united as at his aunt's house, James showed that +he could appreciate them indeed; and hardly needed any +of his cousin's encouragement in draining off the +second bottle supplied by Mr. Bowls. + +When the time for coffee came, however, and for a +return to the ladies, of whom he stood in awe, the young +gentleman's agreeable frankness left him, and he relapsed +into his usual surly timidity; contenting himself by +saying yes and no, by scowling at Lady Jane, and by +upsetting one cup of coffee during the evening. + +If he did not speak he yawned in a pitiable manner, +and his presence threw a damp upon the modest +proceedings of the evening, for Miss Crawley and Lady Jane +at their piquet, and Miss Briggs at her work, felt that +his eyes were wildly fixed on them, and were uneasy +under that maudlin look. + +"He seems a very silent, awkward, bashful lad," said +Miss Crawley to Mr. Pitt. + +"He is more communicative in men's society than with +ladies," Machiavel dryly replied: perhaps rather +disappointed that the port wine had not made Jim +speak more. + +He had spent the early part of the next morning in +writing home to his mother a most flourishing account +of his reception by Miss Crawley. But ah! he little knew +what evils the day was bringing for him, and how short his +reign of favour was destined to be. A circumstance +which Jim had forgotten--a trivial but fatal circumstance +--had taken place at the Cribb's Arms on the night +before he had come to his aunt's house. It was no other +than this--Jim, who was always of a generous disposition, +and when in his cups especially hospitable, had in the +course of the night treated the Tutbury champion and +the Rottingdean man, and their friends, twice or thrice +to the refreshment of gin-and-water--so that no less than +eighteen glasses of that fluid at eightpence per glass were +charged in Mr. James Crawley's bill. It was not the +amount of eightpences, but the quantity of gin which +told fatally against poor James's character, when his +aunt's butler, Mr. Bowls, went down at his mistress's +request to pay the young gentleman's bill. The landlord, +fearing lest the account should be refused altogether, +swore solemnly that the young gent had consumed +personally every farthing's worth of the liquor: and Bowls +paid the bill finally, and showed it on his return home +to Mrs. Firkin, who was shocked at the frightful +prodigality of gin; and took the bill to Miss Briggs as +accountant-general; who thought it her duty to mention +the circumstance to her principal, Miss Crawley. + +Had he drunk a dozen bottles of claret, the old +spinster could have pardoned him. Mr. Fox and Mr. +Sheridan drank claret. Gentlemen drank claret. But eighteen +glasses of gin consumed among boxers in an ignoble +pot-house--it was an odious crime and not to be +pardoned readily. Everything went against the lad: he came +home perfumed from the stables, whither he had been +to pay his dog Towzer a visit--and whence he was +going to take his friend out for an airing, when he met +Miss Crawley and her wheezy Blenheim spaniel, which +Towzer would have eaten up had not the Blenheim fled +squealing to the protection of Miss Briggs, while the +atrocious master of the bull-dog stood laughing at the +horrible persecution. + +This day too the unlucky boy's modesty had likewise +forsaken him. He was lively and facetious at dinner. +During the repast he levelled one or two jokes against Pitt +Crawley: he drank as much wine as upon the previous +day; and going quite unsuspiciously to the drawing-room, +began to entertain the ladies there with some choice +Oxford stories. He described the different pugilistic qualities +of Molyneux and Dutch Sam, offered playfully to give +Lady Jane the odds upon the Tutbury Pet against the +Rottingdean man, or take them, as her Ladyship chose: +and crowned the pleasantry by proposing to back +himself against his cousin Pitt Crawley, either with or without +the gloves. "And that's a fair offer, my buck," he said, +with a loud laugh, slapping Pitt on the shoulder, "and +my father told me to make it too, and he'll go halves +in the bet, ha, ha!" So saying, the engaging youth nodded +knowingly at poor Miss Briggs, and pointed his thumb +over his shoulder at Pitt Crawley in a jocular and +exulting manner. + +Pitt was not pleased altogether perhaps, but still not +unhappy in the main. Poor Jim had his laugh out: and +staggered across the room with his aunt's candle, when +the old lady moved to retire, and offered to salute her +with the blandest tipsy smile: and he took his own leave +and went upstairs to his bedroom perfectly satisfied with +himself, and with a pleased notion that his aunt's money +would be left to him in preference to his father and all +the rest of the family. + +Once up in the bedroom, one would have thought he +could not make matters worse; and yet this unlucky boy +did. The moon was shining very pleasantly out on the +sea, and Jim, attracted to the window by the romantic +appearance of the ocean and the heavens, thought he +would further enjoy them while smoking. Nobody would +smell the tobacco, he thought, if he cunningly opened +the window and kept his head and pipe in the fresh air. +This he did: but being in an excited state, poor Jim +had forgotten that his door was open all this time, so +that the breeze blowing inwards and a fine thorough +draught being established, the clouds of tobacco were +carried downstairs, and arrived with quite undiminished +fragrance to Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs. + +The pipe of tobacco finished the business: and the +Bute-Crawleys never knew how many thousand pounds +it cost them. Firkin rushed downstairs to Bowls who +was reading out the "Fire and the Frying Pan" to his +aide-de-camp in a loud and ghostly voice. The dreadful +secret was told to him by Firkin with so frightened a look, +that for the first moment Mr. Bowls and his young man +thought that robbers were in the house, the legs of whom +had probably been discovered by the woman under Miss +Crawley's bed. When made aware of the fact, however +--to rush upstairs at three steps at a time to enter +the unconscious James's apartment, calling out, "Mr. +James," in a voice stifled with alarm, and to cry, "For +Gawd's sake, sir, stop that 'ere pipe," was the work of +a minute with Mr. Bowls. "O, Mr. James, what 'AVE you +done!" he said in a voice of the deepest pathos, as he +threw the implement out of the window. "What 'ave you +done, sir! Missis can't abide 'em." + +"Missis needn't smoke," said James with a frantic +misplaced laugh, and thought the whole matter an excellent +joke. But his feelings were very different in the morning, +when Mr. Bowls's young man, who operated upon Mr. +James's boots, and brought him his hot water to shave +that beard which he was so anxiously expecting, handed +a note in to Mr. James in bed, in the handwriting of +Miss Briggs. + +"Dear sir," it said, "Miss Crawley has passed an +exceedingly disturbed night, owing to the shocking manner +in which the house has been polluted by tobacco; Miss +Crawley bids me say she regrets that she is too unwell +to see you before you go--and above all that she ever +induced you to remove from the ale-house, where she is +sure you will be much more comfortable during the rest +of your stay at Brighton." + +And herewith honest James's career as a candidate for +his aunt's favour ended. He had in fact, and without +knowing it, done what he menaced to do. He had fought +his cousin Pitt with the gloves. + +Where meanwhile was he who had been once first +favourite for this race for money? Becky and Rawdon, +as we have seen, were come together after Waterloo, +and were passing the winter of 1815 at Paris in great +splendour and gaiety. Rebecca was a good economist, +and the price poor Jos Sedley had paid for her two +horses was in itself sufficient to keep their little +establishment afloat for a year, at the least; there was no +occasion to turn into money "my pistols, the same which +I shot Captain Marker," or the gold dressing-case, or +the cloak lined with sable. Becky had it made into a +pelisse for herself, in which she rode in the Bois de +Boulogne to the admiration of all: and you should have +seen the scene between her and her delighted husband, +whom she rejoined after the army had entered Cambray, +and when she unsewed herself, and let out of her dress +all those watches, knick-knacks, bank-notes, cheques, and +valuables, which she had secreted in the wadding, previous +to her meditated flight from Brussels! Tufto was charmed, +and Rawdon roared with delighted laughter, and swore +that she was better than any play he ever saw, by Jove. +And the way in which she jockeyed Jos, and which +she described with infinite fun, carried up his delight to +a pitch of quite insane enthusiasm. He believed in his +wife as much as the French soldiers in Napoleon. + +Her success in Paris was remarkable. All the French +ladies voted her charming. She spoke their language +admirably. She adopted at once their grace, their liveliness, +their manner. Her husband was stupid certainly--all +English are stupid--and, besides, a dull husband at Paris is +always a point in a lady's favour. He was the heir of the +rich and spirituelle Miss Crawley, whose house had been +open to so many of the French noblesse during the +emigration. They received the colonel's wife in their own +hotels--"Why," wrote a great lady to Miss Crawley, who +had bought her lace and trinkets at the Duchess's own +price, and given her many a dinner during the pinching +times after the Revolution--"Why does not our dear Miss +come to her nephew and niece, and her attached friends +in Paris? All the world raffoles of the charming Mistress +and her espiegle beauty. Yes, we see in her the grace, +the charm, the wit of our dear friend Miss Crawley! +The King took notice of her yesterday at the Tuileries, +and we are all jealous of the attention which Monsieur +pays her. If you could have seen the spite of a certain +stupid Miladi Bareacres (whose eagle-beak and toque +and feat,hers may be seen peering over the heads of all +assemblies) when Madame, the Duchess of Angouleme, +the august daughter and companion of kings, desired +especially to be presented to Mrs. Crawley, as your dear +daughter and protegee, and thanked her in the name +of France, for all your benevolence towards our +unfortunates during their exile! She is of all the societies, +of all the balls--of the balls--yes--of the dances, no; +and yet how interesting and pretty this fair creature looks +surrounded by the homage of the men, and so soon to +be a mother! To hear her speak of you, her protectress, +her mother, would bring tears to the eyes of ogres. How +she loves you! how we all love our admirable, our +respectable Miss Crawley!" + +It is to be feared that this letter of the Parisian great +lady did not by any means advance Mrs. Becky's interest +with her admirable, her respectable, relative. On the +contrary, the fury of the old spinster was beyond bounds, +when she found what was Rebecca's situation, and how +audaciously she had made use of Miss Crawley's name, +to get an entree into Parisian society. Too much shaken +in mind and body to compose a letter in the French +language in reply to that of her correspondent, she +dictated to Briggs a furious answer in her own native tongue, +repudiating Mrs. Rawdon Crawley altogether, and warning +the public to beware of her as a most artful and +dangerous person. But as Madame the Duchess of X-- +had only been twenty years in England, she did not +understand a single word of the language, and contented +herself by informing Mrs. Rawdon Crawley at their next +meeting, that she had received a charming letter from +that chere Mees, and that it was full of benevolent +things for Mrs. Crawley, who began seriously to have +hopes that the spinster would relent. + +Meanwhile, she was the gayest and most admired of +Englishwomen: and had a little European congress on her +reception-night. Prussians and Cossacks, Spanish and +English--all the world was at Paris during this famous +winter: to have seen the stars and cordons in Rebecca's +humble saloon would have made all Baker Street pale +with envy. Famous warriors rode by her carriage in +the Bois, or crowded her modest little box at the Opera. +Rawdon was in the highest spirits. There were no duns +in Paris as yet: there were parties every day at Very's +or Beauvilliers'; play was plentiful and his luck good. +Tufto perhaps was sulky. Mrs. Tufto had come over to +Paris at her own invitation, and besides this +contretemps, there were a score of generals now round +Becky's chair, and she might take her choice of a dozen +bouquets when she went to the play. Lady Bareacres +and the chiefs of the English society, stupid and +irreproachable females, writhed with anguish at the +success of the little upstart Becky, whose poisoned jokes +quivered and rankled in their chaste breasts. But she +had all the men on her side. She fought the women +with indomitable courage, and they could not talk +scandal in any tongue but their own. + +So in fetes, pleasures, and prosperity, the winter of +1815-16 passed away with Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, +who accommodated herself to polite life as if her +ancestors had been people of fashion for centuries past-- +and who from her wit, talent, and energy, indeed merited +a place of honour in Vanity Fair. In the early spring of +1816, Galignani's Journal contained the following +announcement in an interesting corner of the paper: "On +the 26th of March--the Lady of Lieutenant-Colonel +Crawley, of the Life Guards Green--of a son and heir." + +This event was copied into the London papers, out of +which Miss Briggs read the statement to Miss Crawley, +at breakfast, at Brighton. The intelligence, expected as +it might have been, caused a crisis in the affairs of +the Crawley family. The spinster's rage rose to its height, +and sending instantly for Pitt, her nephew, and for the +Lady Southdown, from Brunswick Square, she requested +an immediate celebration of the marriage which had been +so long pending between the two families. And she +announced that it was her intention to allow the young +couple a thousand a year during her lifetime, at the +expiration of which the bulk of her property would be +settled upon her nephew and her dear niece, Lady Jane +Crawley. Waxy came down to ratify the deeds--Lord +Southdown gave away his sister--she was married by a +Bishop, and not by the Rev. Bartholomew Irons--to the +disappointment of the irregular prelate. + +When they were married, Pitt would have liked to +take a hymeneal tour with his bride, as became people +of their condition. But the affection of the old lady +towards Lady Jane had grown so strong, that she fairly +owned she could not part with her favourite. Pitt and +his wife came therefore and lived with Miss Crawley: +and (greatly to the annoyance of poor Pitt, who +conceived himself a most injured character--being subject +to the humours of his aunt on one side, and of his +mother-in-law on the other) Lady Southdown, from her +neighbouring house, reigned over the whole family-- +Pitt, Lady Jane, Miss Crawley, Briggs, Bowls, Firkin, and +all. She pitilessly dosed them with her tracts and her +medicine, she dismissed Creamer, she installed Rodgers, +and soon stripped Miss Crawley of even the semblance +of authority. The poor soul grew so timid that she +actually left off bullying Briggs any more, and clung to +her niece, more fond and terrified every day. Peace to +thee, kind and selfish, vain and generous old heathen!-- +We shall see thee no more. Let us hope that Lady Jane +supported her kindly, and led her with gentle hand out +of the busy struggle of Vanity Fair. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV + + +Widow and Mother + +The news of the great fights of Quatre Bras and Waterloo +reached England at the same time. The Gazette first +published the result of the two battles; at which glorious +intelligence all England thrilled with triumph and fear. +Particulars then followed; and after the announcement of +the victories came the list of the wounded and the slain. +Who can tell the dread with which that catalogue was +opened and read! Fancy, at every village and homestead +almost through the three kingdoms, the great news +coming of the battles in Flanders, and the feelings of +exultation and gratitude, bereavement and sickening dismay, +when the lists of the regimental losses were gone through, +and it became known whether the dear friend and relative +had escaped or fallen. Anybody who will take the trouble +of looking back to a file of the newspapers of the +time, must, even now, feel at second-hand this breathless +pause of expectation. The lists of casualties are carried +on from day to day: you stop in the midst as in a story +which is to be continued in our next. Think what the +feelings must have been as those papers followed each +other fresh from the press; and if such an interest could +be felt in our country, and about a battle where but +twenty thousand of our people were engaged, think of +the condition of Europe for twenty years before, where +people were fighting, not by thousands, but by millions; +each one of whom as he struck his enemy wounded +horribly some other innocent heart far away. + +The news which that famous Gazette brought to the +Osbornes gave a dreadful shock to the family and its chief. +The girls indulged unrestrained in their grief. The +gloom-stricken old father was still more borne down by his fate +and sorrow. He strove to think that a judgment was on +the boy for his disobedience. He dared not own that the +severity of the sentence frightened him, and that its +fulfilment had come too soon upon his curses. Sometimes a +shuddering terror struck him, as if he had been the author +of the doom which he had called down on his son. There +was a chance before of reconciliation. The boy's wife +might have died; or he might have come back and said, +Father I have sinned. But there was no hope now. He +stood on the other side of the gulf impassable, haunting +his parent with sad eyes. He remembered them once +before so in a fever, when every one thought the lad was +dying, and he lay on his bed speechless, and gazing with a +dreadful gloom. Good God! how the father clung to the +doctor then, and with what a sickening anxiety he +followed him: what a weight of grief was off his mind when, +after the crisis of the fever, the lad recovered, and looked +at his father once more with eyes that recognised him. +But now there was no help or cure, or chance of +reconcilement: above all, there were no humble words to +soothe vanity outraged and furious, or bring to its natural +flow the poisoned, angry blood. And it is hard to say +which pang it was that tore the proud father's heart most +keenly--that his son should have gone out of the reach +of his forgiveness, or that the apology which his own +pride expected should have escaped him. + +Whatever his sensations might have been, however, the +stem old man would have no confidant. He never +mentioned his son's name to his daughters; but ordered the +elder to place all the females of the establishment in +mourning; and desired that the male servants should be +similarly attired in deep black. All parties and entertainments, +of course, were to be put off. No communications +were made to his future son-in-law, whose marriage-day +had been fixed: but there was enough in Mr. Osborne's +appearance to prevent Mr. Bullock from making any +inquiries, or in any way pressing forward that ceremony. +He and the ladies whispered about it under their voices +in the drawing-room sometimes, whither the father never +came. He remained constantly in his own study; the +whole front part of the house being closed until some +time after the completion of the general mourning. + +About three weeks after the 18th of June, Mr. +Osborne's acquaintance, Sir William Dobbin, called at Mr. +Osborne's house in Russell Square, with a very pale and +agitated face, and insisted upon seeing that gentleman. +Ushered into his room, and after a few words, which +neither the speaker nor the host understood, the former +produced from an inclosure a letter sealed with a large +red seal. "My son, Major Dobbin," the Alderman said, +with some hesitation, "despatched me a letter by an +officer of the --th, who arrived in town to-day. My son's +letter contains one for you, Osborne." The Alderman +placed the letter on the table, and Osborne stared at him +for a moment or two in silence. His looks frightened the +ambassador, who after looking guiltily for a little time at +the grief-stricken man, hurried away without another +word. + +The letter was in George's well-known bold handwriting. +It was that one which he had written before daybreak +on the 16th of June, and just before he took leave +of Amelia. The great red seal was emblazoned with the +sham coat of arms which Osborne had assumed from +the Peerage, with "Pax in bello" for a motto; that of the +ducal house with which the vain old man tried to fancy +himself connected. The hand that signed it would never +hold pen or sword more. The very seal that sealed it +had been robbed from George's dead body as it lay on the +field of battle. The father knew nothing of this, but sat and +looked at the letter in terrified vacancy. He almost fell +when he went to open it. + +Have you ever had a difference with a dear friend? +How his letters, written in the period of love and +confidence, sicken and rebuke you! What a dreary mourning +it is to dwell upon those vehement protests of dead +affection! What lying epitaphs they make over the corpse of +love! What dark, cruel comments upon Life and Vanities! +Most of us have got or written drawers full of them. +They are closet-skeletons which we keep and shun. +Osborne trembled long before the letter from his dead +son. + +The poor boy's letter did not say much. He had been +too proud to acknowledge the tenderness which his heart +felt. He only said, that on the eve of a great battle, he +wished to bid his father farewell, and solemnly to implore +his good offices for the wife--it might be for the child-- +whom he left behind him. He owned with contrition that +his irregularities and his extravagance had already wasted +a large part of his mother's little fortune. He thanked his +father for his former generous conduct; and he promised +him that if he fell on the field or survived it, he would +act in a manner worthy of the name of George Osborne. + +His English habit, pride, awkwardness perhaps, had +prevented him from saying more. His father could not +see the kiss George had placed on the superscription of +his letter. Mr. Osborne dropped it with the bitterest, +deadliest pang of balked affection and revenge. His son +was still beloved and unforgiven. + +About two months afterwards, however, as the young +ladies of the family went to church with their father, they +remarked how he took a different seat from that which +he usually occupied when he chose to attend divine +worship; and that from his cushion opposite, he looked up at +the wall over their heads. This caused the young women +likewise to gaze in the direction towards which their +father's gloomy eyes pointed: and they saw an elaborate +monument upon the wall, where Britannia was represented +weeping over an urn, and a broken sword and a +couchant lion indicated that the piece of sculpture had +been erected in honour of a deceased warrior. The +sculptors of those days had stocks of such funereal +emblems in hand; as you may see still on the walls of St. +Paul's, which are covered with hundreds of these +braggart heathen allegories. There was a constant demand +for them during the first fifteen years of the present +century. + +Under the memorial in question were emblazoned the +well-known and pompous Osborne arms; and the +inscription said, that the monument was "Sacred to the +memory of George Osborne, Junior, Esq., late a Captain +in his Majesty's --th regiment of foot, who fell on the +18th of June, 1815, aged 28 years, while fighting for his +king and country in the glorious victory of Waterloo. +Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori." + +The sight of that stone agitated the nerves of the +sisters so much, that Miss Maria was compelled to leave +the church. The congregation made way respectfully for +those sobbing girls clothed in deep black, and pitied the +stern old father seated opposite the memorial of the dead +soldier. "Will he forgive Mrs. George?" the girls said to +themselves as soon as their ebullition of grief was over. +Much conversation passed too among the acquaintances +of the Osborne family, who knew of the rupture between +the son and father caused by the former's marriage, as +to the chance of a reconciliation with the young widow. +There were bets among the gentlemen both about Russell +Square and in the City. + +If the sisters had any anxiety regarding the possible +recognition of Amelia as a daughter of the family, it +was increased presently, and towards the end of the +autumn, by their father's announcement that he was going +abroad. He did not say whither, but they knew at once +that his steps would be turned towards Belgium, and were +aware that George's widow was still in Brussels. They +had pretty accurate news indeed of poor Amelia from +Lady Dobbin and her daughters. Our honest Captain had +been promoted in consequence of the death of the second +Major of the regiment on the field; and the brave O'Dowd, +who had distinguished himself greatly here as upon all +occasions where he had a chance to show his coolness +and valour, was a Colonel and Companion of the Bath. + +Very many of the brave --th, who had suffered +severely upon both days of action, were still at Brussels +in the autumn, recovering of their wounds. The city was +a vast military hospital for months after the great battles; +and as men and officers began to rally from their hurts, +the gardens and places of public resort swarmed with +maimed warriors, old and young, who, just rescued out of +death, fell to gambling, and gaiety, and love-making, as +people of Vanity Fair will do. Mr. Osborne found out +some of the --th easily. He knew their uniform quite +well, and had been used to follow all the promotions and +exchanges in the regiment, and loved to talk about it and +its officers as if he had been one of the number. On the +day after his arrival at Brussels, and as he issued from +his hotel, which faced the park, he saw a soldier in the +well-known facings, reposing on a stone bench in the +garden, and went and sate down trembling by the +wounded convalescent man. + +"Were you in Captain Osborne's company?" he said, +and added, after a pause, "he was my son, sir." + +The man was not of the Captain's company, but he +lifted up his unwounded arm and touched-his cap sadly +and respectfully to the haggard broken-spirited gentleman +who questioned him. "The whole army didn't contain +a finer or a better officer," the soldier said. "The Sergeant +of the Captain's company (Captain Raymond had it +now), was in town, though, and was just well of a shot +in the shoulder. His honour might see him if he liked, +who could tell him anything he wanted to know about-- +about the --th's actions. But his honour had seen +Major Dobbin, no doubt, the brave Captain's great +friend; and Mrs. Osborne, who was here too, and had +been very bad, he heard everybody say. They say she +was out of her mind like for six weeks or more. But your +honour knows all about that--and asking your pardon" +--the man added. + +Osborne put a guinea into the soldier's hand, and told +him he should have another if he would bring the Sergeant +to the Hotel du Parc; a promise which very soon +brought the desired officer to Mr. Osborne's presence. +And the first soldier went away; and after telling a +comrade or two how Captain Osborne's father was arrived, +and what a free-handed generous gentleman he was, they +went and made good cheer with drink and feasting, as +long as the guineas lasted which had come from the +proud purse of the mourning old father. + +In the Sergeant's company, who was also just convalescent, +Osborne made the journey of Waterloo and +Quatre Bras, a journey which thousands of his countrymen +were then taking. He took the Sergeant with him in +his carriage, and went through both fields under his +guidance. He saw the point of the road where the regiment +marched into action on the 16th, and the slope down +which they drove the French cavalry who were pressing +on the retreating Belgians. There was the spot where the +noble Captain cut down the French officer who was +grappling with the young Ensign for the colours, the +Colour-Sergeants having been shot down. Along this road +they retreated on the next day, and here was the bank +at which the regiment bivouacked under the rain of the +night of the seventeenth. Further on was the position +which they took and held during the day, forming time +after time to receive the charge of the enemy's horsemen +and lying down under the shelter of the bank from the +furious French cannonade. And it was at this declivity +when at evening the whole English line received the order +to advance, as the enemy fell back after his last charge, +that the Captain, hurraying and rushing down the hill +waving his sword, received a shot and fell dead. "It was +Major Dobbin who took back the Captain's body to +Brussels," the Sergeant said, in a low voice, "and had him +buried, as your honour knows." The peasants and relic- +hunters about the place were screaming round the pair, +as the soldier told his story, offering for sale all sorts of +mementoes of the fight, crosses, and epaulets, and +shattered cuirasses, and eagles. + +Osborne gave a sumptuous reward to the Sergeant +when he parted with him, after having visited the scenes +of his son's last exploits. His burial-place he had already +seen. Indeed, he had driven thither immediately after his +arrival at Brussels. George's body lay in the pretty burial- +ground of Laeken, near the city; in which place, having +once visited it on a party of pleasure, he had lightly +expressed a wish to have his grave made. And there the +young officer was laid by his friend, in the unconsecrated +corner of the garden, separated by a little hedge from +the temples and towers and plantations of flowers and +shrubs, under which the Roman Catholic dead repose. It +seemed a humiliation to old Osborne to think that his +son, an English gentleman, a captain in the famous British +army, should not be found worthy to lie in ground where +mere foreigners were buried. Which of us is there can +tell how much vanity lurks in our warmest regard for +others, and how selfish our love is? Old Osborne did +not speculate much upon the mingled nature of his feelings, +and how his instinct and selfishness were combating +together. He firmly believed that everything he did was +right, that he ought on all occasions to have his own way +--and like the sting of a wasp or serpent his hatred +rushed out armed and poisonous against anything like +opposition. He was proud of his hatred as of everything +else. Always to be right, always to trample forward, and +never to doubt, are not these the great qualities with +which dullness takes the lead in the world? + +As after the drive to Waterloo, Mr. Osborne's carriage +was nearing the gates of the city at sunset, they met +another open barouche, in which were a couple of ladies +and a gentleman, and by the side of which an officer was +riding. Osborne gave a start back, and the Sergeant, +seated with him, cast a look of surprise at his neighbour, +as he touched his cap to the officer, who mechanically +returned his salute. It was Amelia, with the lame young +Ensign by her side, and opposite to her her faithful +friend Mrs. O'Dowd. It was Amelia, but how changed +from the fresh and comely girl Osborne knew. Her face +was white and thin. Her pretty brown hair was parted +under a widow's cap--the poor child. Her eyes were +fixed, and looking nowhere. They stared blank in the +face of Osborne, as the carriages crossed each other, but +she did not know him; nor did he recognise her, until +looking up, he saw Dobbin riding by her: and then he +knew who it was. He hated her. He did not know how +much until he saw her there. When her carriage had +passed on, he turned and stared at the Sergeant, with a +curse and defiance in his eye cast at his companion, who +could not help looking at him--as much as to say "How +dare you look at me? Damn you! I do hate her. It is she +who has tumbled my hopes and all my pride down." +"Tell the scoundrel to drive on quick," he shouted with +an oath, to the lackey on the box. A minute afterwards, a +horse came clattering over the pavement behind +Osborne's carriage, and Dobbin rode up. His thoughts +had been elsewhere as the carriages passed each other, +and it was not until he had ridden some paces forward, +that he remembered it was Osborne who had just passed +him. Then he turned to examine if the sight of her father- +in-law had made any impression on Amelia, but the poor +girl did not know who had passed. Then William, who +daily used to accompany her in his drives, taking out his +watch, made some excuse about an engagement which he +suddenly recollected, and so rode off. She did not +remark that either: but sate looking before her, over the +homely landscape towards the woods in the distance, by +which George marched away. + +Mr. Osborne, Mr. Osborne!" cried Dobbin, as he rode +up and held out his hand. Osborne made no motion to +take it, but shouted out once more and with another curse +to his servant to drive on. + +Dobbin laid his hand on the carriage side. "I will see +you, sir," he said. "I have a message for you." + +"From that woman?" said Osborne, fiercely. + +"No," replied the other, "from your son"; at which +Osborne fell back into the corner of his carriage, and +Dobbin allowing it to pass on, rode close behind it, and +so through the town until they reached Mr. Osborne's +hotel, and without a word. There he followed Osborne +up to his apartments. George had often been in the +rooms; they were the lodgings which the Crawleys had +occupied during their stay in Brussels. + +"Pray, have you any commands for me, Captain +Dobbin, or, I beg your pardon, I should say MAJOR Dobbin, +since better men than you are dead, and you step into +their SHOES?" said Mr. Osborne, in that sarcastic tone +which he sometimes was pleased to assume. + +"Better men ARE dead," Dobbin replied. "I want to +speak to you about one." + +"Make it short, sir," said the other with an oath, +scowling at his visitor. + +"I am here as his closest friend," the Major resumed, +"and the executor of his will. He made it before he went +into action. Are you aware how small his means are, +and of the straitened circumstances of his widow?" + +"I don't know his widow, sir," Osborne said. "Let her +go back to her father." But the gentleman whom he +addressed was determined to remain in good temper, and +went on without heeding the interruption. + +"Do you know, sir, Mrs. Osborne's condition? Her life +and her reason almost have been shaken by the blow +which has fallen on her. It is very doubtful whether she +will rally. There is a chance left for her, however, and it +is about this I came to speak to you. She will be a mother +soon. Will you visit the parent's offence upon the child's +head? or will you forgive the child for poor George's +sake?" + +Osborne broke out into a rhapsody of self-praise and +imprecations;--by the first, excusing himself to his own +conscience for his conduct; by the second, exaggerating +the undutifulness of George. No father in all England +could have behaved more generously to a son, who had +rebelled against him wickedly. He had died without even +so much as confessing he was wrong. Let him take +the consequences of his undutifulness and folly. As for +himself, Mr. Osborne, he was a man of his word. He +had sworn never to speak to that woman, or to recognize +her as his son's wife. "And that's what you may tell +her," he concluded with an oath; "and that's what I will +stick to to the last day of my life." + +There was no hope from that quarter then. The widow +must live on her slender pittance, or on such aid as Jos +could give her. "I might tell her, and she would not heed +it," thought Dobbin, sadly: for the poor girl's thoughts +were not here at all since her catastrophe, and, stupefied +under the pressure of her sorrow, good and evil were +alike indifferent to her. + +So, indeed, were even friendship and kindness. She +received them both uncomplainingly, and having accepted +them, relapsed into her grief. + +Suppose some twelve months after the above conversation +took place to have passed in the life of our poor +Amelia. She has spent the first portion of that time in a +sorrow so profound and pitiable, that we who have been +watching and describing some of the emotions of that +weak and tender heart, must draw back in the presence +of the cruel grief under which it is bleeding. Tread silently +round the hapless couch of the poor prostrate soul. +Shut gently the door of the dark chamber wherein she +suffers, as those kind people did who nursed her through +the first months of her pain, and never left her until +heaven had sent her consolation. A day came--of +almost terrified delight and wonder--when the poor +widowed girl pressed a child upon her breast--a child, with +the eyes of George who was gone--a little boy, as beautiful +as a cherub. What a miracle it was to hear its first +cry! How she laughed and wept over it--how love, and +hope, and prayer woke again in her bosom as the baby +nestled there. She was safe. The doctors who attended +her, and had feared for her life or for her brain, had +waited anxiously for this crisis before they could +pronounce that either was secure. It was worth the long +months of doubt and dread which the persons who had +constantly been with her had passed, to see her eyes once +more beaming tenderly upon them. + +Our friend Dobbin was one of them. It was he who +brought her back to England and to her mother's house; +when Mrs. O'Dowd, receiving a peremptory summons +from her Colonel, had been forced to quit her patient. +To see Dobbin holding the infant, and to hear Amelia's +laugh of triumph as she watched him, would have done +any man good who had a sense of humour. William was +the godfather of the child, and exerted his ingenuity in +the purchase of cups, spoons, pap-boats, and corals for +this little Christian. + +How his mother nursed him, and dressed him, and +lived upon him; how she drove away all nurses, and +would scarce allow any hand but her own to touch him; +how she considered that the greatest favour she could +confer upon his godfather, Major Dobbin, was to allow +the Major occasionally to dandle him, need not be told +here. This child was her being. Her existence was a +maternal caress. She enveloped the feeble and unconscious +creature with love and worship. It was her life +which the baby drank in from her bosom. Of nights, and +when alone, she had stealthy and intense raptures of +motherly love, such as God's marvellous care has awarded +to the female instinct--joys how far higher and lower +than reason--blind beautiful devotions which only women's +hearts know. It was William Dobbin's task to muse +upon these movements of Amelia's, and to watch her +heart; and if his love made him divine almost all the feelings +which agitated it, alas! he could see with a fatal +perspicuity that there was no place there for him. And +so, gently, he bore his fate, knowing it, and content to +bear it. + +I suppose Amelia's father and mother saw through the +intentions of the Major, and were not ill-disposed to +encourage him; for Dobbin visited their house daily, and +stayed for hours with them, or with Amelia, or with the +honest landlord, Mr. Clapp, and his family. He brought, +on one pretext or another, presents to everybody, and +almost every day; and went, with the landlord's little girl, +who was rather a favourite with Amelia, by the name of +Major Sugarplums. It was this little child who commonly +acted as mistress of the ceremonies to introduce him +to Mrs. Osborne. She laughed one day when Major Sugarplums' +cab drove up to Fulham, and he descended from +it, bringing out a wooden horse, a drum, a trumpet, and +other warlike toys, for little Georgy, who was scarcely +six months old, and for whom the articles in question were +entirely premature. + +The child was asleep. "Hush," said Amelia, annoyed, +perhaps, at the creaking of the Major's boots; and she +held out her hand; smiling because William could not +take it until he had rid himself of his cargo of toys. "Go +downstairs, little Mary," said he presently to the child, +"I want to speak to Mrs. Osborne." She looked up rather +astonished, and laid down the infant on its bed. + +"I am come to say good-bye, Amelia," said he, taking +her slender little white hand gently. + +"Good-bye? and where are you going?" she said, with +a smile. + +"Send the letters to the agents," he said; "they will +forward them; for you will write to me, won't you? I +shall be away a long time." + +"I'll write to you about Georgy," she said. "Dear' William, +how good you have been to him and to me. Look at +him. Isn't he like an angel?" + +The little pink hands of the child closed mechanically +round the honest soldier's finger, and Amelia looked up +in his face with bright maternal pleasure. The cruellest +looks could not have wounded him more than that glance +of hopeless kindness. He bent over the child and mother. +He could not speak for a moment. And it was only with +all his strength that he could force himself to say a God +bless you. "God bless you," said Amelia, and held up her +face and kissed him. + +"Hush! Don't wake Georgy!" she added, as William +Dobbin went to the door with heavy steps. She did not +hear the noise of his cab-wheels as he drove away: she +was looking at the child, who was laughing in his sleep. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI + + +How to Live Well on Nothing a Year + +I suppose there is no man in this Vanity Fair of ours so +little observant as not to think sometimes about the +worldly affairs of his acquaintances, or so extremely +charitable as not to wonder how his neighbour Jones, +or his neighbour Smith, can make both ends meet at the +end of the year. With the utmost regard for the family, +for instance (for I dine with them twice or thrice in the +season), I cannot but own that the appearance of the +Jenkinses in the park, in the large barouche with the +grenadier-footmen, will surprise and mystify me to my +dying day: for though I know the equipage is only +jobbed, and all the Jenkins people are on board wages, +yet those three men and the carriage must represent an +expense of six hundred a year at the very least--and then +there are the splendid dinners, the two boys at Eton, the +prize governess and masters for the girls, the trip +abroad, or to Eastbourne or Worthing, in the autumn, +the annual ball with a supper from Gunter's (who, by the +way, supplies most of the first-rate dinners which J. gives, +as I know very well, having been invited to one of them to +fill a vacant place, when I saw at once that these repasts are +very superior to the common run of entertainments for which the +humbler sort of J.'s acquaintances get cards)--who, I say, with the +most good-natured feelings in the world, can help wondering how +the Jenkinses make out matters? What is Jenkins? We all know +--Commissioner of the Tape and Sealing Wax Office, with +1200 pounds a year for a salary. Had his wife a private +fortune? Pooh!--Miss Flint--one of eleven children of a +small squire in Buckinghamshire. All she ever gets from +her family is a turkey at Christmas, in exchange for which +she has to board two or three of her sisters in the off +season, and lodge and feed her brothers when they +come to town. How does Jenkins balance his income? I +say, as every friend of his must say, How is it that he +has not been outlawed long since, and that he ever came +back (as he did to the surprise of everybody) last year +from Boulogne? + +"I" is here introduced to personify the world in +general--the Mrs. Grundy of each respected reader's private +circle--every one of whom can point to some families +of his acquaintance who live nobody knows how. Many +a glass of wine have we all of us drunk, I have very +little doubt, hob-and-nobbing with the hospitable giver +and wondering how the deuce he paid for it. + +Some three or four years after his stay in Paris, when +Rawdon Crawley and his wife were established in a very +small comfortable house in Curzon Street, May Fair, there +was scarcely one of the numerous friends whom they +entertained at dinner that did not ask the above question +regarding them. The novelist, it has been said before, +knows everything, and as I am in a situation to be +able to tell the public how Crawley and his wife lived +without any income, may I entreat the public newspapers +which are in the habit of extracting portions of the +various periodical works now published not to reprint +the following exact narrative and calculations--of which +I ought, as the discoverer (and at some expense, too), +to have the benefit? My son, I would say, were I blessed +with a child--you may by deep inquiry and constant +intercourse with him learn how a man lives comfortably +on nothing a year. But it is best not to be intimate with +gentlemen of this profession and to take the calculations +at second hand, as you do logarithms, for to work +them yourself, depend upon it, will cost you something +considerable. + +On nothing per annum then, and during a course of +some two or three years, of which we can afford to +give but a very brief history, Crawley and his wife lived +very happily and comfortably at Paris. It was in this +period that he quitted the Guards and sold out of the +army. When we find him again, his mustachios and the +title of Colonel on his card are the only relics of his +military profession. + +It has been mentioned that Rebecca, soon after her +arrival in Paris, took a very smart and leading position in +the society of that capital, and was welcomed at some +of the most distinguished houses of the restored French +nobility. The English men of fashion in Paris courted her, +too, to the disgust of the ladies their wives, who could +not bear the parvenue. For some months the salons +of the Faubourg St. Germain, in which her place was +secured, and the splendours of the new Court, where she +was received with much distinction, delighted and +perhaps a little intoxicated Mrs. Crawley, who may have +been disposed during this period of elation to slight the +people--honest young military men mostly--who formed +her husband's chief society. + +But the Colonel yawned sadly among the Duchesses +and great ladies of the Court. The old women who +played ecarte made such a noise about a five-franc +piece that it was not worth Colonel Crawley's while to +sit down at a card-table. The wit of their conversation he +could not appreciate, being ignorant of their language. +And what good could his wife get, he urged, by making +curtsies every night to a whole circle of Princesses? He +left Rebecca presently to frequent these parties alone, +resuming his own simple pursuits and amusements +amongst the amiable friends of his own choice. + +The truth is, when we say of a gentleman that he +lives elegantly on nothing a year, we use the word +"nothing" to signify something unknown; meaning, simply, +that we don't know how the gentleman in question defrays +the expenses of his establishment. Now, our friend the +Colonel had a great aptitude for all games of chance: +and exercising himself, as he continually did, with the +cards, the dice-box, or the cue, it is natural to suppose +that he attained a much greater skill in the use of these +articles than men can possess who only occasionally +handle them. To use a cue at billiards well is like using a +pencil, or a German flute, or a small-sword--you cannot +master any one of these implements at first, and it is only +by repeated study and perseverance, joined to a natural +taste, that a man can excel in the handling of either. +Now Crawley, from being only a brilliant amateur, had +grown to be a consummate master of billiards. Like a +great General, his genius used to rise with the danger, +and when the luck had been unfavourable to him for a +whole game, and the bets were consequently against him, +he would, with consummate skill and boldness, make +some prodigious hits which would restore the battle, and +come in a victor at the end, to the astonishment of +everybody--of everybody, that is, who was a stranger to his +play. Those who were accustomed to see it were cautious +how they staked their money against a man of such +sudden resources and brilliant and overpowering skill. + +At games of cards he was equally skilful; for though +he would constantly lose money at the commencement +of an evening, playing so carelessly and making such +blunders, that newcomers were often inclined to think +meanly of his talent; yet when roused to action and +awakened to caution by repeated small losses, it was +remarked that Crawley's play became quite different, and +that he was pretty sure of beating his enemy thoroughly +before the night was over. Indeed, very few men could +say that they ever had the better of him. +His successes were so repeated that no wonder the +envious and the vanquished spoke sometimes with +bitterness regarding them. And as the French say of the +Duke of Wellington, who never suffered a defeat, that +only an astonishing series of lucky accidents enabled him +to be an invariable winner; yet even they allow that he +cheated at Waterloo, and was enabled to win the last +great trick: so it was hinted at headquarters in England +that some foul play must have taken place in order to +account for the continuous successes of Colonel Crawley. + +Though Frascati's and the Salon were open at that time +in Paris, the mania for play was so widely spread that +the public gambling-rooms did not suffice for the general +ardour, and gambling went on in private houses as +much as if there had been no public means for gratifying +the passion. At Crawley's charming little reunions of an +evening this fatal amusement commonly was practised-- +much to good-natured little Mrs. Crawley's annoyance. +She spoke about her husband's passion for dice with the +deepest grief; she bewailed it to everybody who came to +her house. She besought the young fellows never, never +to touch a box; and when young Green, of the Rifles, +lost a very considerable sum of money, Rebecca passed a +whole night in tears, as the servant told the unfortunate +young gentleman, and actually went on her knees to her +husband to beseech him to remit the debt, and burn the +acknowledgement. How could he? He had lost just as +much himself to Blackstone of the Hussars, and Count +Punter of the Hanoverian Cavalry. Green might have any +decent time; but pay?--of course he must pay; to talk +of burning IOU's was child's play. + +Other officers, chiefly young--for the young fellows +gathered round Mrs. Crawley--came from her parties +with long faces, having dropped more or less money at +her fatal card-tables. Her house began to have an +unfortunate reputation. The old hands warned the less +experienced of their danger. Colonel O'Dowd, of the --th +regiment, one of those occupying in Paris, warned +Lieutenant Spooney of that corps. A loud and violent fracas +took place between the infantry Colonel and his lady, +who were dining at the Cafe de Paris, and Colonel and +Mrs. Crawley; who were also taking their meal there. +The ladies engaged on both sides. Mrs. O'Dowd snapped +her fingers in Mrs. Crawley's face and called her +husband "no betther than a black-leg." Colonel Crawley +challenged Colonel O'Dowd, C.B. The Commander-in-Chief +hearing of the dispute sent for Colonel Crawley, who was +getting ready the same pistols "which he shot Captain +Marker," and had such a conversation with him that no +duel took place. If Rebecca had not gone on her knees +to General Tufto, Crawley would have been sent back +to England; and he did not play, except with civilians, +for some weeks after. + +But, in spite of Rawdon's undoubted skill and constant +successes, it became evident to Rebecca, considering +these things, that their position was but a precarious +one, and that, even although they paid scarcely anybody, +their little capital would end one day by dwindling into +zero. "Gambling," she would say, "dear, is good to help +your income, but not as an income itself. Some day +people may be tired of play, and then where are we?" +Rawdon acquiesced in the justice of her opinion; and in +truth he had remarked that after a few nights of his +little suppers, &c., gentlemen were tired of play with him, +and, in spite of Rebecca's charms, did not present +themselves very eagerly. + +Easy and pleasant as their life at Paris was, it was +after all only an idle dalliance and amiable trifling; and +Rebecca saw that she must push Rawdon's fortune in +their own country. She must get him a place or appointment +at home or in the colonies, and she determined to +make a move upon England as soon as the way could be +cleared for her. As a first step she had made Crawley +sell out of the Guards and go on half-pay. His function +as aide-de-camp to General Tufto had ceased previously. +Rebecca laughed in all companies at that officer, at his +toupee (which he mounted on coming to Paris), at his +waistband, at his false teeth, at his pretensions to be a +lady-killer above all, and his absurd vanity in fancying +every woman whom he came near was in love with +him. It was to Mrs. Brent, the beetle-browed wife of +Mr. Commissary Brent, to whom the general transferred +his attentions now--his bouquets, his dinners at the +restaurateurs', his opera-boxes, and his knick-knacks. Poor +Mrs. Tufto was no more happy than before, and had still +to pass long evenings alone with her daughters, knowing +that her General was gone off scented and curled to +stand behind Mrs. Brent's chair at the play. Becky had a +dozen admirers in his place, to be sure, and could cut +her rival to pieces with her wit. But, as we have said, she. +was growing tired of this idle social life: opera-boxes and +restaurateur dinners palled upon her: nosegays could not +be laid by as a provision for future years: and she could +not live upon knick-knacks, laced handkerchiefs, and kid +gloves. She felt the frivolity of pleasure and longed for +more substantial benefits. + +At this juncture news arrived which was spread among +the many creditors of the Colonel at Paris, and which +caused them great satisfaction. Miss Crawley, the rich +aunt from whom he expected his immense inheritance, +was dying; the Colonel must haste to her bedside. Mrs. +Crawley and her child would remain behind until he +came to reclaim them. He departed for Calais, and having +reached that place in safety, it might have been +supposed that he went to Dover; but instead he took the +diligence to Dunkirk, and thence travelled to Brussels, +for which place he had a former predilection. The fact +is, he owed more money at London than at Paris; and he +preferred the quiet little Belgian city to either of the more +noisy capitals. + +Her aunt was dead. Mrs. Crawley ordered the most +intense mourning for herself and little Rawdon. The Colonel +was busy arranging the affairs of the inheritance. They +could take the premier now, instead of the little entresol +of the hotel which they occupied. Mrs. Crawley and the +landlord had a consultation about the new hangings, +an amicable wrangle about the carpets, and a final adjustment +of everything except the bill. She went off in one +of his carriages; her French bonne with her; the child +by her side; the admirable landlord and landlady smiling +farewell to her from the gate. General Tufto was furious +when he heard she was gone, and Mrs. Brent furious +with him for being furious; Lieutenant Spooney was cut +to the heart; and the landlord got ready his best apartments +previous to the return of the fascinating little +woman and her husband. He serred the trunks which +she left in his charge with the greatest care. They had been +especially recommended to him by Madame Crawley. They +were not, however, found to be particularly valuable +when opened some time after. + +But before she went to join her husband in the Belgic +capital, Mrs. Crawley made an expedition into England, +leaving behind her her little son upon the continent, +under the care of her French maid. + +The parting between Rebecca and the little Rawdon did +not cause either party much pain. She had not, to say +truth, seen much of the young gentleman since his birth. +After the amiable fashion of French mothers, she had +placed him out at nurse in a village in the neighbourhood +of Paris, where little Rawdon passed the first months of +his life, not unhappily, with a numerous family of +foster-brothers in wooden shoes. His father would ride over +many a time to see him here, and the elder Rawdon's +paternal heart glowed to see him rosy and dirty, +shouting lustily, and happy in the making of mud-pies +under the superintendence of the gardener's wife, his +nurse. + +Rebecca did not care much to go and see the son +and heir. Once he spoiled a new dove-coloured pelisse +of hers. He preferred his nurse's caresses to his mamma's, +and when finally he quitted that jolly nurse and almost +parent, he cried loudly for hours. He was only consoled +by his mother's promise that he should return to his nurse +the next day; indeed the nurse herself, who probably +would have been pained at the parting too, was told that +the child would immediately be restored to her, and for +some time awaited quite anxiously his return. + +In fact, our friends may be said to have been among +the first of that brood of hardy English adventurers who +have subsequently invaded the Continent and swindled +in all the capitals of Europe. The respect in those happy +days of 1817-18 was very great for the wealth and +honour of Britons. They had not then learned, as I am +told, to haggle for bargains with the pertinacity which +now distinguishes them. The great cities of Europe had +not been as yet open to the enterprise of our rascals. +And whereas there is now hardly a town of France or +Italy in which you shall not see some noble countryman +of our own, with that happy swagger and insolence +of demeanour which we carry everywhere, swindling +inn-landlords, passing fictitious cheques upon credulous +bankers, robbing coach-makers of their carriages, goldsmiths +of their trinkets, easy travellers of their money at cards, +even public libraries of their books--thirty years ago you +needed but to be a Milor Anglais, travelling in a private +carriage, and credit was at your hand wherever you chose +to seek it, and gentlemen, instead of cheating, were +cheated. It was not for some weeks after the Crawleys' +departure that the landlord of the hotel which they +occupied during their residence at Paris found out the losses +which he had sustained: not until Madame Marabou, the +milliner, made repeated visits with her little bill for +articles supplied to Madame Crawley; not until Monsieur +Didelot from Boule d'Or in the Palais Royal had asked +half a dozen times whether cette charmante Miladi who +had bought watches and bracelets of him was de retour. +It is a fact that even the poor gardener's wife, who +had nursed madame's child, was never paid after the +first six months for that supply of the milk of human +kindness with which she had furnished the lusty and +healthy little Rawdon. No, not even the nurse was paid +--the Crawleys were in too great a hurry to remember +their trifling debt to her. As for the landlord of the hotel, +his curses against the English nation were violent for the +rest of his natural life. He asked all travellers whether +they knew a certain Colonel Lor Crawley--avec sa +femme une petite dame, tres spirituelle. "Ah, +Monsieur!" he would add--"ils m'ont affreusement vole." It +was melancholy to hear his accents as he spoke of that +catastrophe. + +Rebecca's object in her journey to London was to +effect a kind of compromise with her husband's numerous +creditors, and by offering them a dividend of ninepence +or a shilling in the pound, to secure a return for him into +his own country. It does not become us to trace the steps +which she took in the conduct of this most difficult +negotiation; but, having shown them to their satisfaction +that the sum which she was empowered to offer was all +her husband's available capital, and having convinced +them that Colonel Crawley would prefer a perpetual +retirement on the Continent to a residence in this country +with his debts unsettled; having proved to them that there +was no possibility of money accruing to him from other +quarters, and no earthly chance of their getting a larger +dividend than that which she was empowered to offer, +she brought the Colonel's creditors unanimously to +accept her proposals, and purchased with fifteen hundred +pounds of ready money more than ten times that amount +of debts. + +Mrs. Crawley employed no lawyer in the transaction. +The matter was so simple, to have or to leave, as she +justly observed, that she made the lawyers of the +creditors themselves do the business. And Mr. Lewis +representing Mr. Davids, of Red Lion Square, and Mr. Moss +acting for Mr. Manasseh of Cursitor Street (chief +creditors of the Colonel's), complimented his lady upon the +brilliant way in which she did business, and declared +that there was no professional man who could beat her. + +Rebecca received their congratulations with perfect +modesty; ordered a bottle of sherry and a bread cake +to the little dingy lodgings where she dwelt, while +conducting the business, to treat the enemy's lawyers: +shook hands with them at parting, in excellent good +humour, and returned straightway to the Continent, to +rejoin her husband and son and acquaint the former +with the glad news of his entire liberation. As for the +latter, he had been considerably neglected during his +mother's absence by Mademoiselle Genevieve, her French +maid; for that young woman, contracting an attachment +for a soldier in the garrison of Calais, forgot her charge +in the society of this militaire, and little Rawdon very +narrowly escaped drowning on Calais sands at this +period, where the absent Genevieve had left and lost +him. + +And so, Colonel and Mrs. Crawley came to London: +and it is at their house in Curzon Street, May Fair, that +they really showed the skill which must be possessed by +those who would live on the resources above named. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII + + +The Subject Continued + +In the first place, and as a matter of the greatest +necessity, we are bound to describe how a house +may be got for nothing a year. These mansions +are to be had either unfurnished, where, if you +have credit with Messrs. Gillows or Bantings, you +can get them splendidly montees and decorated +entirely according to your own fancy; or they are +to be let furnished, a less troublesome and +complicated arrangement to most parties. It was so +that Crawley and his wife preferred to hire their house. + +Before Mr. Bowls came to preside over Miss Crawley's +house and cellar in Park Lane, that lady had had +for a butler a Mr. Raggles, who was born on the family +estate of Queen's Crawley, and indeed was a younger +son of a gardener there. By good conduct, a handsome +person and calves, and a grave demeanour, Raggles rose +from the knife-board to the footboard of the carriage; +from the footboard to the butler's pantry. When he had +been a certain number of years at the head of Miss +Crawley's establishment, where he had had good wages, +fat perquisites, and plenty of opportunities of saving, he +announced that he was about to contract a matrimonial +alliance with a late cook of Miss Crawley's, who had +subsisted in an honourable manner by the exercise of a +mangle, and the keeping of a small greengrocer's shop in +the neighbourhood. The truth is, that the ceremony had +been clandestinely performed some years back; although +the news of Mr. Raggles' marriage was first brought to +Miss Crawley by a little boy and girl of seven and eight +years of age, whose continual presence in the kitchen +had attracted the attention of Miss Briggs. + +Mr. Raggles then retired and personally undertook the +superintendence of the small shop and the greens. He +added milk and cream, eggs and country-fed pork to his +stores, contenting himself whilst other retired butlers +were vending spirits in public houses, by dealing in the +simplest country produce. And having a good connection +amongst the butlers in the neighbourhood, and a +snug back parlour where he and Mrs. Raggles received +them, his milk, cream, and eggs got to be adopted by +many of the fraternity, and his profits increased every +year. Year after year he quietly and modestly amassed +money, and when at length that snug and complete bachelor's residence at No. 201, Curzon Street, May Fair, lately +the residence of the Honourable Frederick Deuceace, +gone abroad, with its rich and appropriate furniture by +the first makers, was brought to the hammer, who should +go in and purchase the lease and furniture of the house +but Charles Raggles? A part of the money he borrowed, it +is true, and at rather a high interest, from a brother +butler, but the chief part he paid down, and it was with +no small pride that Mrs. Raggles found herself sleeping in +a bed of carved mahogany, with silk curtains, with a +prodigious cheval glass opposite to her, and a wardrobe +which would contain her, and Raggles, and all the family. + +Of course, they did not intend to occupy permanently +an apartment so splendid. It was in order to let the house +again that Raggles purchased it. As soon as a tenant +was found, he subsided into the greengrocer's shop once +more; but a happy thing it was for him to walk out of +that tenement and into Curzon Street, and there survey +his house--his own house--with geraniums in the +window and a carved bronze knocker. The footman +occasionally lounging at the area railing, treated him with +respect; the cook took her green stuff at his house and +called him Mr. Landlord, and there was not one thing +the tenants did, or one dish which they had for dinner, +that Raggles might not know of, if he liked. + +He was a good man; good and happy. The house +brought him in so handsome a yearly income that he was +determined to send his children to good schools, and +accordingly, regardless of expense, Charles was sent to +boarding at Dr. Swishtail's, Sugar-cane Lodge, and +little Matilda to Miss Peckover's, Laurentinum House, +Clapham. + +Raggles loved and adored the Crawley family as the +author of all his prosperity in life. He had a silhouette of +his mistress in his back shop, and a drawing of the +Porter's Lodge at Queen's Crawley, done by that spinster +herself in India ink--and the only addition he made to +the decorations of the Curzon Street House was a print +of Queen's Crawley in Hampshire, the seat of Sir Walpole +Crawley, Baronet, who was represented in a gilded car +drawn by six white horses, and passing by a lake +covered with swans, and barges containing ladies in hoops, +and musicians with flags and penwigs. Indeed Raggles +thought there was no such palace in all the world, and +no such august family. + +As luck would have it, Raggles' house in Curzon Street +was to let when Rawdon and his wife returned to London. +The Colonel knew it and its owner quite well; the latter's +connection with the Crawley family had been kept up +constantly, for Raggles helped Mr. Bowls whenever Miss +Crawley received friends. And the old man not only let +his house to the Colonel but officiated as his butler +whenever he had company; Mrs. Raggles operating in the +kitchen below and sending up dinners of which old Miss +Crawley herself might have approved. This was the way, +then, Crawley got his house for nothing; for though +Raggles had to pay taxes and rates, and the interest of the +mortgage to the brother butler; and the insurance of his +life; and the charges for his children at school; and the +value of the meat and drink which his own family--and +for a time that of Colonel Crawley too--consumed; and +though the poor wretch was utterly ruined by the +transaction, his children being flung on the streets, and himself +driven into the Fleet Prison: yet somebody must pay even +for gentlemen who live for nothing a year--and so it was +this unlucky Raggles was made the representative of +Colonel Crawley's defective capital. + +I wonder how many families are driven to roguery and +to ruin by great practitioners in Crawlers way?--how +many great noblemen rob their petty tradesmen, +condescend to swindle their poor retainers out of wretched +little sums and cheat for a few shillings? When we read +that a noble nobleman has left for the Continent, or that +another noble nobleman has an execution in his house +--and that one or other owes six or seven millions, the +defeat seems glorious even, and we respect the victim in +the vastness of his ruin. But who pities a poor barber who +can't get his money for powdering the footmen's heads; +or a poor carpenter who has ruined himself by fixing up +ornaments and pavilions for my lady's dejeuner; or the +poor devil of a tailor whom the steward patronizes, and +who has pledged all he is worth, and more, to get the +liveries ready, which my lord has done him the honour +to bespeak? When the great house tumbles down, these +miserable wretches fall under it unnoticed: as they say in +the old legends, before a man goes to the devil himself, +he sends plenty of other souls thither. + +Rawdon and his wife generously gave their patronage +to all such of Miss Crawley's tradesmen and purveyors +as chose to serve them. Some were willing,enough, +especially the poor ones. It was wonderful to see the +pertinacity with which the washerwoman from Tooting +brought the cart every Saturday, and her bills week after week. +Mr. Raggles himself had to supply the greengroceries. The +bill for servants' porter at the Fortune of War public +house is a curiosity in the chronicles of beer. Every +servant also was owed the greater part of his wages, and +thus kept up perforce an interest in the house. Nobody in +fact was paid. Not the blacksmith who opened the lock; +nor the glazier who mended the pane; nor the jobber who +let the carriage; nor the groom who drove it; nor the +butcher who provided the leg of mutton; nor the coals +which roasted it; nor the cook who basted it; nor the +servants who ate it: and this I am given to understand is not +unfrequently the way in which people live elegantly on +nothing a year. + +In a little town such things cannot be done without +remark. We know there the quantity of milk our +neighbour takes and espy the joint or the fowls which are +going in for his dinner. So, probably, 200 and 202 in Curzon +Street might know what was going on in the house +between them, the servants communicating through the +area-railings; but Crawley and his wife and his friends +did not know 200 and 202. When you came to 201 there +was a hearty welcome, a kind smile, a good dinner, and +a jolly shake of the hand from the host and hostess there, +just for all the world as if they had been undisputed +masters of three or four thousand a year--and so they were, +not in money, but in produce and labour--if they did +not pay for the mutton, they had it: if they did not give +bullion in exchange for their wine, how should we know? +Never was better claret at any man's table than at honest +Rawdon's; dinners more gay and neatly served. His +drawing-rooms were the prettiest, little, modest salons +conceivable: they were decorated with the greatest taste, +and a thousand knick-knacks from Paris, by Rebecca: +and when she sat at her piano trilling songs with a +lightsome heart, the stranger voted himself in a little +paradise of domestic comfort and agreed that, if the +husband was rather stupid, the wife was charming, and the +dinners the pleasantest in the world. + +Rebecca's wit, cleverness, and flippancy made her speedily +the vogue in London among a certain class. You saw +demure chariots at her door, out of which stepped very +great people. You beheld her carriage in the park, +surrounded by dandies of note. The little box in the third +tier of the opera was crowded with heads constantly +changing; but it must be confessed that the ladies held +aloof from her, and that their doors were shut to our +little adventurer. + +With regard to the world of female fashion and its +customs, the present writer of course can only speak at +second hand. A man can no more penetrate or under- +stand those mysteries than he can know what the ladies +talk about when they go upstairs after dinner. It is only +by inquiry and perseverance that one sometimes gets +hints of those secrets; and by a similar diligence every +person who treads the Pall Mall pavement and frequents +the clubs of this metropolis knows, either through his +own experience or through some acquaintance with whom +he plays at billiards or shares the joint, something about +the genteel world of London, and how, as there are men +(such as Rawdon Crawley, whose position we mentioned +before) who cut a good figure to the eyes of the ignorant +world and to the apprentices in the park, who behold +them consorting with the most notorious dandies there, +so there are ladies, who may be called men's women, +being welcomed entirely by all the gentlemen and cut +or slighted by all their wives. Mrs. Firebrace is of this sort; +the lady with the beautiful fair ringlets whom you see +every day in Hyde Park, surrounded by the greatest and +most famous dandies of this empire. Mrs. Rockwood is +another, whose parties are announced laboriously in the +fashionable newspapers and with whom you see that all +sorts of ambassadors and great noblemen dine; and +many more might be mentioned had they to do with the +history at present in hand. But while simple folks who +are out of the world, or country people with a taste for +the genteel, behold these ladies in their seeming glory in +public places, or envy them from afar off, persons who +are better instructed could inform them that these envied +ladies have no more chance of establishing themselves +in "society," than the benighted squire's wife in +Somersetshire who reads of their doings in the Morning Post. +Men living about London are aware of these awful truths. +You hear how pitilessly many ladies of seeming rank and +wealth are excluded from this "society." The frantic +efforts which they make to enter this circle, the meannesses +to which they submit, the insults which they undergo, +are matters of wonder to those who take human or +womankind for a study; and the pursuit of fashion under +difficulties would be a fine theme for any very great +person who had the wit, the leisure, and the knowledge of +the English language necessary for the compiling of +such a history. + +Now the few female acquaintances whom Mrs. Crawley +had known abroad not only declined to visit her when +she came to this side of the Channel, but cut her severely +when they met in public places. It was curious to see how +the great ladies forgot her, and no doubt not altogether +a pleasant study to Rebecca. When Lady Bareacres met +her in the waiting-room at the opera, she gathered her +daughters about her as if they would be contaminated +by a touch of Becky, and retreating a step or two, placed +herself in front of them, and stared at her little enemy. +To stare Becky out of countenance required a severer +glance than even the frigid old Bareacres could shoot out +of her dismal eyes. When Lady de la Mole, who had ridden +a score of times by Becky's side at Brussels, met Mrs. +Crawley's open carriage in Hyde Park, her Ladyship was +quite blind, and could not in the least recognize her +former friend. Even Mrs. Blenkinsop, the banker's wife, +cut her at church. Becky went regularly to church now; it +was edifying to see her enter there with Rawdon by her +side, carrying a couple of large gilt prayer-books, and +afterwards going through the ceremony with the gravest +resignation. + +Rawdon at first felt very acutely the slights which were +passed upon his wife, and was inclined to be gloomy and +savage. He talked of calling out the husbands or brothers +of every one of the insolent women who did not pay a +proper respect to his wife; and it was only by the strongest commands and entreaties on her part that he was +brought into keeping a decent behaviour. "You can't +shoot me into society," she said good-naturedly. "Remember, +my dear, that I was but a governess, and you, you +poor silly old man, have the worst reputation for debt, and +dice, and all sorts of wickedness. We shall get quite as +many friends as we want by and by, and in the meanwhile +you must be a good boy and obey your schoolmistress in +everything she tells you to do. When we heard that your +aunt had left almost everything to Pitt and his wife, do +you remember what a rage you were in? You would +have told all Paris, if I had not made you keep your +temper, and where would you have been now?--in +prison at Ste. Pelagie for debt, and not established in +London in a handsome house, with every comfort about +you--you were in such a fury you were ready to murder +your brother, you wicked Cain you, and what good +would have come of remaining angry? All the rage in the +world won't get us your aunt's money; and it is much +better that we should be friends with your brother's +family than enemies, as those foolish Butes are. When +your father dies, Queen's Crawley will be a pleasant house +for you and me to pass the winter in. If we are ruined, +you can carve and take charge of the stable, and I can +be a governess to Lady Jane's children. Ruined! +fiddlede-dee! I will get you a good place before that; or Pitt +and his little boy will die, and we will be Sir Rawdon and my +lady. While there is life, there is hope, my dear, and I +intend to make a man of you yet. Who sold your horses for +you? Who paid your debts for you?" Rawdon was obliged +to confess that he owed all these benefits to his wife, and +to trust himself to her guidance for the future. + +Indeed, when Miss Crawley quitted the world, and that +money for which all her relatives had been fighting so +eagerly was finally left to Pitt, Bute Crawley, who found +that only five thousand pounds had been left to him +instead of the twenty upon which he calculated, was in +such a fury at his disappointment that he vented it in +savage abuse upon his nephew; and the quarrel always +rankling between them ended in an utter breach of +intercourse. Rawdon Crawley's conduct, on the other hand, +who got but a hundred pounds, was such as to astonish +his brother and delight his sister-in-law, who was +disposed to look kindly upon all the members of her +husband's family. He wrote to his brother a very frank, manly, +good-humoured letter from Paris. He was aware, he said, +that by his own marriage he had forfeited his aunt's +favour; and though he did not disguise his disappointment +that she should have been so entirely relentless towards +him, he was glad that the money was still kept in their +branch of the family, and heartily congratulated his brother +on his good fortune. He sent his affectionate remembrances +to his sister, and hoped to have her good-will for +Mrs. Rawdon; and the letter concluded with a postscript +to Pitt in the latter lady's own handwriting. She, too, +begged to join in her husband's congratulations. She should +ever remember Mr. Crawley's kindness to her in early +days when she was a friendless orphan, the instructress of +his little sisters, in whose welfare she still took the +tenderest interest. She wished him every happiness in his +married life, and, asking his permission to offer her +remembrances to Lady Jane (of whose goodness all the +world informed her), she hoped that one day she might +be allowed to present her little boy to his uncle and aunt, +and begged to bespeak for him their good-will and +protection. + +Pitt Crawley received this communication very +graciously--more graciously than Miss Crawley had received +some of Rebecca's previous compositions in Rawdon's +handwriting; and as for Lady Jane, she was so charmed +with the letter that she expected her husband would +instantly divide his aunt's legacy into two equal portions +and send off one-half to his brother at Paris. + +To her Ladyship's surprise, however, Pitt declined to +accommodate his brother with a cheque for thirty +thousand pounds. But he made Rawdon a handsome offer +of his hand whenever the latter should come to England +and choose to take it; and, thanking Mrs. Crawley for +her good opinion of himself and Lady Jane, he graciously +pronounced his willingness to take any opportunity to +serve her little boy. + +Thus an almost reconciliation was brought about +between the brothers. When Rebecca came to town Pitt +and his wife were not in London. Many a time she drove +by the old door in Park Lane to see whether they had +taken possession of Miss Crawley's house there. But the +new family did not make its appearance; it was only +through Raggles that she heard of their movements--how +Miss Crawley's domestics had been dismissed with decent +gratuities, and how Mr. Pitt had only once made his +appearance in London, when he stopped for a few days +at the house, did business with his lawyers there, and sold +off all Miss Crawley's French novels to a bookseller out +of Bond Street. Becky had reasons of her own which +caused her to long for the arrival of her new relation. +"When Lady Jane comes," thought she, "she shall be my +sponsor in London society; and as for the women! bah! +the women will ask me when they find the men want to +see me." + +An article as necessary to a lady in this position as her +brougham or her bouquet is her companion. I have +always admired the way in which the tender creatures, who +cannot exist without sympathy, hire an exceedingly plain +friend of their own sex from whom they are almost +inseparable. The sight of that inevitable woman in her +faded gown seated behind her dear friend in the opera- +box, or occupying the back seat of the barouche, is +always a wholesome and moral one to me, as jolly a +reminder as that of the Death's-head which figured in +the repasts of Egyptian bon-vivants, a strange sardonic +memorial of Vanity Fair. What? even battered, brazen, +beautiful, conscienceless, heartless, Mrs. Firebrace, whose +father died of her shame: even lovely, daring Mrs. +Mantrap, who will ride at any fence which any man in +England will take, and who drives her greys in the +park, while her mother keeps a huckster's stall in Bath +still--even those who are so bold, one might fancy +they could face anything dare not face the world without +a female friend. They must have somebody to cling to, the +affectionate creatures! And you will hardly see them in +any public place without a shabby companion in a dyed +silk, sitting somewhere in the shade close behind them. + +"Rawdon," said Becky, very late one night, as a party +of gentlemen were seated round her crackling drawing- +room fire (for the men came to her house to finish the +night; and she had ice and coffee for them, the best in +London): "I must have a sheep-dog." + +"A what?" said Rawdon, looking up from an ecarte +table. + +"A sheep-dog!" said young Lord Southdown. "My dear +Mrs. Crawley, what a fancy! Why not have a Danish +dog? I know of one as big as a camel-leopard, by Jove. +It would almost pull your brougham. Or a Persian +greyhound, eh? (I propose, if you please); or a little pug +that would go into one of Lord Steyne's snuff-boxes? +There's a man at Bayswater got one with such a nose that +you might--I mark the king and play--that you might +hang your hat on it." + +"I mark the trick," Rawdon gravely said. He attended +to his game commonly and didn't much meddle with +the conversation, except when it was about horses and +betting. + +"What CAN you want with a shepherd's dog?" the lively +little Southdown continued. + +"I mean a MORAL shepherd's dog," said Becky, laughing +and looking up at Lord Steyne. + +"What the devil's that?" said his Lordship. + +"A dog to keep the wolves off me," Rebecca continued. +"A companion." + +"Dear little innocent lamb, you want one," said the +marquis; and his jaw thrust out, and he began to grin +hideously, his little eyes leering towards Rebecca. + +The great Lord of Steyne was standing by the fire +sipping coffee. The fire crackled and blazed pleasantly +There was a score of candles sparkling round the mantel +piece, in all sorts of quaint sconces, of gilt and bronze and +porcelain. They lighted up Rebecca's figure to admiration, +as she sat on a sofa covered with a pattern of gaudy +flowers. She was in a pink dress that looked as fresh as +a rose; her dazzling white arms and shoulders were half- +covered with a thin hazy scarf through which they +sparkled; her hair hung in curls round her neck; one of her +little feet peeped out from the fresh crisp folds of the +silk: the prettiest little foot in the prettiest little sandal +in the finest silk stocking in the world. + +The candles lighted up Lord Steyne's shining bald head, +which was fringed with red hair. He had thick bushy +eyebrows, with little twinkling bloodshot eyes, surrounded +by a thousand wrinkles. His jaw was underhung, and +when he laughed, two white buck-teeth protruded +themselves and glistened savagely in the midst of the grin. +He had been dining with royal personages, and wore +his garter and ribbon. A short man was his Lordship, +broad-chested and bow-legged, but proud of the fineness +of his foot and ankle, and always caressing his garter- +knee. + +"And so the shepherd is not enough," said he, "to +defend his lambkin?" + +"The shepherd is too fond of playing at cards and going +to his clubs," answered Becky, laughing. + +" 'Gad, what a debauched Corydon!" said my lord-- +"what a mouth for a pipe!" + +"I take your three to two," here said Rawdon, at the +card-table. + +"Hark at Meliboeus," snarled the noble marquis; "he's +pastorally occupied too: he's shearing a Southdown. +What an innocent mutton, hey? Damme, what a snowy +fleece!" + +Rebecca's eyes shot out gleams of scornful humour. +"My lord," she said, "you are a knight of the Order." +He had the collar round his neck, indeed--a gift of the +restored princes of Spain. + +Lord Steyne in early life had been notorious for his +daring and his success at play. He had sat up two days +and two nights with Mr. Fox at hazard. He had won +money of the most august personages of the realm: he +had won his marquisate, it was said, at the gaming- +table; but he did not like an allusion to those bygone +fredaines. Rebecca saw the scowl gathering over his heavy +brow. + +She rose up from her sofa and went and took his coffee +cup out of his hand with a little curtsey. "Yes," she said, +"I must get a watchdog. But he won't bark at YOU. +And, going into the other drawing-room, she sat down to +the piano and began to sing little French songs in such a +charming, thrilling voice that the mollified nobleman +speedily followed her into that chamber, and might be seen +nodding his head and bowing time over her. + +Rawdon and his friend meanwhile played ecarte until +they had enough. The Colonel won; but, say that he won +ever so much and often, nights like these, which occurred +many times in the week--his wife having all the talk and +all the admiration, and he sitting silent without the circle, +not comprehending a word of the jokes, the allusions, the +mystical language within--must have been rather +wearisome to the ex-dragoon. + +"How is Mrs. Crawley's husband?" Lord Steyne used +to say to him by way of a good day when they met; and +indeed that was now his avocation in life. He was +Colonel Crawley no more. He was Mrs. Crawley's husband. + +About the little Rawdon, if nothing has been said all +this while, it is because he is hidden upstairs in a garret +somewhere, or has crawled below into the kitchen for +companionship. His mother scarcely ever took notice of +him. He passed the days with his French bonne as long +as that domestic remained in Mr. Crawley's family, and +when the Frenchwoman went away, the little fellow, +howling in the loneliness of the night, had compassion taken +on him by a housemaid, who took him out of his solitary +nursery into her bed in the garret hard by and comforted +him. + +Rebecca, my Lord Steyne, and one or two more were +in the drawing-room taking tea after the opera, when this +shouting was heard overhead. "It's my cherub crying for +his nurse," she said. She did not offer to move to go and +see the child. "Don't agitate your feelings by going to look +for him," said Lord Steyne sardonically. "Bah!" replied +the other, with a sort of blush, "he'll cry himself to sleep"; +and they fell to talking about the opera. + +Rawdon had stolen off though, to look after his son +and heir; and came back to the company when he found +that honest Dolly was consoling the child. The Colonel's +dressing-room was in those upper regions. He used to see +the boy there in private. They had interviews together +every morning when he shaved; Rawdon minor sitting on a +box by his father's side and watching the operation with +never-ceasing pleasure. He and the sire were great friends. +The father would bring him sweetmeats from the dessert +and hide them in a certain old epaulet box, where the +child went to seek them, and laughed with joy on +discovering the treasure; laughed, but not too loud: for mamma +was below asleep and must not be disturbed. She did not +go to rest till very late and seldom rose till after noon. + +Rawdon bought the boy plenty of picture-books and +crammed his nursery with toys. Its walls were covered with +pictures pasted up by the father's own hand and purchased +by him for ready money. When he was off duty with +Mrs. Rawdon in the park, he would sit up here, passing +hours with the boy; who rode on his chest, who pulled his +great mustachios as if they were driving-reins, and spent +days with him in indefatigable gambols. The room was +a low room, and once, when the child was not five years +old, his father, who was tossing him wildly up in his +arms, hit the poor little chap's skull so violently against +the ceiling that he almost dropped the child, so terrified +was he at the disaster. + +Rawdon minor had made up his face for a tremendous +howl--the severity of the blow indeed authorized that +indulgence; but just as he was going to begin, the father +interposed. + +"For God's sake, Rawdy, don't wake Mamma," he +cried. And the child, looking in a very hard and piteous +way at his father, bit his lips, clenched his hands, and +didn't cry a bit. Rawdon told that story at the clubs, at +the mess, to everybody in town. "By Gad, sir," he +explained to the public in general, "what a good plucked one +that boy of mine is--what a trump he is! I half-sent his +head through the ceiling, by Gad, and he wouldn't cry for +fear of disturbing his mother." + +Sometimes--once or twice in a week--that lady visited +the upper regions in which the child lived. She came like +a vivified figure out of the Magasin des Modes--blandly +smiling in the most beautiful new clothes and little gloves +and boots. Wonderful scarfs, laces, and jewels glittered +about her. She had always a new bonnet on, and flowers +bloomed perpetually in it, or else magnificent curling +ostrich feathers, soft and snowy as camellias. She nodded +twice or thrice patronizingly to the little boy, who looked +up from his dinner or from the pictures of soldiers he was +painting. When she left the room, an odour of rose, or +some other magical fragrance, lingered about the nursery. +She was an unearthly being in his eyes, superior to his +father--to all the world: to be worshipped and admired +at a distance. To drive with that lady in the carriage was +an awful rite: he sat up in the back seat and did not dare +to speak: he gazed with all his eyes at the beautifully +dressed Princess opposite to him. Gentlemen on splendid +prancing horses came up and smiled and talked with her. +How her eyes beamed upon all of them! Her hand used +to quiver and wave gracefully as they passed. When +he went out with her he had his new red dress on. His old +brown holland was good enough when he stayed at home. +Sometimes, when she was away, and Dolly his maid was +making his bed, he came into his mother's room. It was as +the abode of a fairy to him--a mystic chamber of +splendour and delights. There in the wardrobe hung those +wonderful robes--pink and blue and many-tinted. There +was the jewel-case, silver-clasped, and the wondrous +bronze hand on the dressing-table, glistening all over +with a hundred rings. There was the cheval-glass, that +miracle of art, in which he could just see his own +wondering head and the reflection of Dolly (queerly +distorted, and as if up in the ceiling), plumping and patting +the pillows of the bed. Oh, thou poor lonely little +benighted boy! Mother is the name for God in the lips and +hearts of little children; and here was one who was +worshipping a stone! + +Now Rawdon Crawley, rascal as the Colonel was, had +certain manly tendencies of affection in his heart and +could love a child and a woman still. For Rawdon minor +he had a great secret tenderness then, which did not +escape Rebecca, though she did not talk about it to her +husband. It did not annoy her: she was too good- +natured. It only increased her scorn for him. He felt +somehow ashamed of this paternal softness and hid it +from his wife--only indulging in it when alone with the +boy. + +He used to take him out of mornings when they would +go to the stables together and to the park. Little Lord +Southdown, the best-natured of men, who would make +you a present of the hat from his head, and whose main +occupation in life was to buy knick-knacks that he might +give them away afterwards, bought the little chap a +pony not much bigger than a large rat, the donor said, +and on this little black Shetland pygmy young Rawdon's +great father was pleased to mount the boy, and to walk +by his side in the park. It pleased him to see his old +quarters, and his old fellow-guardsmen at Knightsbridge: +he had begun to think of his bachelorhood with +something like regret. The old troopers were glad to recognize +their ancient officer and dandle the little colonel. +Colonel Crawley found dining at mess and with his +brother-officers very pleasant. "Hang it, I ain't clever +enough for her--I know it. She won't miss me," he used to +say: and he was right, his wife did not miss him. + +Rebecca was fond of her husband. She was always +perfectly good-humoured and kind to him. She did not +even show her scorn much for him; perhaps she liked +him the better for being a fool. He was her upper servant +and maitre d'hotel. He went on her errands; obeyed +her orders without question; drove in the carriage in the +ring with her without repining; took her to the opera-box, +solaced himself at his club during the performance, and +came punctually back to fetch her when due. He would +have liked her to be a little fonder of the boy, but even +to that he reconciled himself. "Hang it, you know she's so +clever," he said, "and I'm not literary and that, you +know." For, as we have said before, it requires no great +wisdom to be able to win at cards and billiards, and +Rawdon made no pretensions to any other sort of skill. + +When the companion came, his domestic duties became +very light. His wife encouraged him to dine +abroad: she would let him off duty at the opera. "Don't +stay and stupefy yourself at home to-night, my dear," +she would say. "Some men are coming who will only bore +you. I would not ask them, but you know it's for your +good, and now I have a sheep-dog, I need not be afraid +to be alone." + +"A sheep-dog--a companion! Becky Sharp with a +companion! Isn't it good fun?" thought Mrs. Crawley to +herself. The notion tickled hugely her sense of humour. + +One Sunday morning, as Rawdon Crawley, his little +son, and the pony were taking their accustomed walk in +the park, they passed by an old acquaintance of the +Colonel's, Corporal Clink, of the regiment, who was in +conversation with a friend, an old gentleman, who held +a boy in his arms about the age of little Rawdon. This +other youngster had seized hold of the Waterloo medal +which the Corporal wore, and was examining it with +delight. + +"Good morning, your Honour," said Clink, in reply to +the "How do, Clink?" of the Colonel. "This ere young +gentleman is about the little Colonel's age, sir," +continued the corporal. + +"His father was a Waterloo man, too," said the old +gentleman, who carried the boy. "Wasn't he, Georgy?" + +"Yes," said Georgy. He and the little chap on the pony +were looking at each other with all their might--solemnly +scanning each other as children do. + +"In a line regiment," Clink said with a patronizing air. + +"He was a Captain in the --th regiment," said the old +gentleman rather pompously. "Captain George Osborne, +sir--perhaps you knew him. He died the death of a +hero, sir, fighting against the Corsican tyrant." +Colonel Crawley blushed quite red. "I knew him very +well, sir," he said, "and his wife, his dear little wife, +sir--how is she?" + +"She is my daughter, sir," said the old gentleman, +putting down the boy and taking out a card with great +solemnity, which he handed to the Colonel. On it +written-- + +"Mr. Sedley, Sole Agent for the Black Diamond and +Anti-Cinder Coal Association, Bunker's Wharf, Thames +Street, and Anna-Maria Cottages, Fulham Road West." + +Little Georgy went up and looked at the Shetland +pony. + +"Should you like to have a ride?" said Rawdon minor +from the saddle. + +"Yes," said Georgy. The Colonel, who had been +looking at him with some interest, took up the child +and put him on the pony behind Rawdon minor. + +"Take hold of him, Georgy," he said--"take my little +boy round the waist--his name is Rawdon." And both the +children began to laugh. + +"You won't see a prettier pair I think, THIS summer's +day, sir," said the good-natured Corporal; and the +Colonel, the Corporal, and old Mr. Sedley with his umbrella, +walked by the side of the children. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII + + +A Family in a Very Small Way + +We must suppose little George Osborne has ridden from +Knightsbridge towards Fulham, and will stop and make +inquiries at that village regarding some friends whom we +have left there. How is Mrs. Amelia after the storm of +Waterloo? Is she living and thriving? What has come of +Major Dobbin, whose cab was always hankering about +her premises? And is there any news of the Collector +of Boggley Wollah? The facts concerning the latter are +briefly these: + +Our worthy fat friend Joseph Sedley returned to India +not long after his escape from Brussels. Either his +furlough was up, or he dreaded to meet any witnesses of his +Waterloo flight. However it might be, he went back to his +duties in Bengal very soon after Napoleon had taken +up his residence at St. Helena, where Jos saw the ex- +Emperor. To hear Mr. Sedley talk on board ship you +would have supposed that it was not the first time he and +the Corsican had met, and that the civilian had bearded +the French General at Mount St. John. He had a +thousand anecdotes about the famous battles; he knew the +position of every regiment and the loss which each +had incurred. He did not deny that he had been +concerned in those victories--that he had been with the +army and carried despatches for the Duke of Wellington. +And he described what the Duke did and said on +every conceivable moment of the day of Waterloo, with +such an accurate knowledge of his Grace's sentiments +and proceedings that it was clear he must have been by +the conqueror's side throughout the day; though, as a +non-combatant, his name was not mentioned in the +public documents relative to the battle. Perhaps he actually +worked himself up to believe that he had been engaged +with the army; certain it is that he made a prodigious +sensation for some time at Calcutta, and was called +Waterloo Sedley during the whole of his subsequent stay in +Bengal. + +The bills which Jos had given for the purchase of those +unlucky horses were paid without question by him and +his agents. He never was heard to allude to the bargain, +and nobody knows for a certainty what became +of the horses, or how he got rid of them, or of Isidor, his +Belgian servant, who sold a grey horse, very like the one +which Jos rode, at Valenciennes sometime during the +autumn of 1815. + +Jos's London agents had orders to pay one hundred +and twenty pounds yearly to his parents at Fulham. It +was the chief support of the old couple; for Mr. Sedley's +speculations in life subsequent to his bankruptcy did not +by any means retrieve the broken old gentleman's +fortune. He tried to be a wine-merchant, a coal-merchant, +a commission lottery agent, &c., &c. He sent round +prospectuses to his friends whenever he took a new trade, +and ordered a new brass plate for the door, and talked +pompously about making his fortune still. But Fortune +never came back to the feeble and stricken old man. One +by one his friends dropped off, and were weary of +buying dear coals and bad wine from him; and there +was only his wife in all the world who fancied, when he +tottered off to the City of a morning, that he was still +doing any business there. At evening he crawled slowly +back; and he used to go of nights to a little club at a +tavern, where he disposed of the finances of the nation. +It was wonderful to hear him talk about millions, and +agios, and discounts, and what Rothschild was +doing, and Baring Brothers. He talked of such vast sums +that the gentlemen of the club (the apothecary, the +undertaker, the great carpenter and builder, the parish clerk, +who was allowed to come stealthily, and Mr. Clapp, our +old acquaintance,) respected the old gentleman. "I was +better off once, sir," he did not fail to tell everybody who +"used the room." "My son, sir, is at this minute chief +magistrate of Ramgunge in the Presidency of Bengal, and +touching his four thousand rupees per mensem. My +daughter might be a Colonel's lady if she liked. I might +draw upon my son, the first magistrate, sir, for two +thousand pounds to-morrow, and Alexander would cash my +bill, down sir, down on the counter, sir. But the Sedleys +were always a proud family." You and I, my dear +reader, may drop into this condition one day: for have +not many of our friends attained it? Our luck may fail: +our powers forsake us: our place on the boards be taken +by better and younger mimes--the chance of life roll +away and leave us shattered and stranded. Then men +will walk across the road when they meet you--or, worse +still, hold you out a couple of fingers and patronize you +in a pitying way--then you will know, as soon as your +back is turned, that your friend begins with a "Poor +devil, what imprudences he has committed, what chances +that chap has thrown away!" Well, well--a carriage and +three thousand a year is not the summit of the reward +nor the end of God's judgment of men. If quacks prosper +as often as they go to the wall--if zanies succeed and +knaves arrive at fortune, and, vice versa, sharing ill +luck and prosperity for all the world like the ablest and +most honest amongst us--I say, brother, the gifts and +pleasures of Vanity Fair cannot be held of any great +account, and that it is probable . . . but we are +wandering out of the domain of the story. + +Had Mrs. Sedley been a woman of energy, she would +have exerted it after her husband's ruin and, occupying +a large house, would have taken in boarders. The broken +Sedley would have acted well as the boarding-house +landlady's husband; the Munoz of private life; the titular lord +and master: the carver, house-steward, and humble +husband of the occupier of the dingy throne. I have seen +men of good brains and breeding, and of good hopes and +vigour once, who feasted squires and kept hunters in +their youth, meekly cutting up legs of mutton for +rancorous old harridans and pretending to preside over their +dreary tables--but Mrs. Sedley, we say, had not spirit +enough to bustle about for "a few select inmates to join +a cheerful musical family," such as one reads of in the +Times. She was content to lie on the shore where +fortune had stranded her--and you could see that the +career of this old couple was over. + +I don't think they were unhappy. Perhaps they were +a little prouder in their downfall than in their prosperity. +Mrs. Sedley was always a great person for her landlady, +Mrs. Clapp, when she descended and passed many hours +with her in the basement or ornamented kitchen. The +Irish maid Betty Flanagan's bonnets and ribbons, her +sauciness, her idleness, her reckless prodigality of kitchen +candles, her consumption of tea and sugar, and so forth +occupied and amused the old lady almost as much as the +doings of her former household, when she had Sambo and +the coachman, and a groom, and a footboy, and a +housekeeper with a regiment of female domestics--her former +household, about which the good lady talked a hundred +times a day. And besides Betty Flanagan, Mrs. Sedley +had all the maids-of-all-work in the street to superintend. +She knew how each tenant of the cottages paid or +owed his little rent. She stepped aside when Mrs. +Rougemont the actress passed with her dubious family. She +flung up her head when Mrs. Pestler, the apothecary's +lady, drove by in her husband's professional one-horse +chaise. She had colloquies with the greengrocer about +the pennorth of turnips which Mr. Sedley loved; she kept +an eye upon the milkman and the baker's boy; and +made visitations to the butcher, who sold hundreds of +oxen very likely with less ado than was made about +Mrs. Sedley's loin of mutton: and she counted the +potatoes under the joint on Sundays, on which days, dressed +in her best, she went to church twice and read Blair's +Sermons in the evening. + +On that day, for "business" prevented him on weekdays +from taking such a pleasure, it was old Sedley's +delight to take out his little grandson Georgy to the +neighbouring parks or Kensington Gardens, to see the soldiers +or to feed the ducks. Georgy loved the redcoats, and his +grandpapa told him how his father had been a famous +soldier, and introduced him to many sergeants and others +with Waterloo medals on their breasts, to whom the +old grandfather pompously presented the child as the +son of Captain Osborne of the --th, who died gloriously +on the glorious eighteenth. He has been known to treat +some of these non-commissioned gentlemen to a glass of +porter, and, indeed, in their first Sunday walks was +disposed to spoil little Georgy, sadly gorging the boy with +apples and parliament, to the detriment of his health-- +until Amelia declared that George should never go out +with his grandpapa unless the latter promised solemnly, +and on his honour, not to give the child any cakes, +lollipops, or stall produce whatever. + +Between Mrs. Sedley and her daughter there was a sort +of coolness about this boy, and a secret jealousy--for +one evening in George's very early days, Amelia, who +had been seated at work in their little parlour scarcely +remarking that the old lady had quitted the room, ran +upstairs instinctively to the nursery at the cries of the +child, who had been asleep until that moment--and +there found Mrs. Sedley in the act of surreptitiously +administering Daffy's Elixir to the infant. Amelia, the +gentlest and sweetest of everyday mortals, when she +found this meddling with her maternal authority, thrilled +and trembled all over with anger. Her cheeks, ordinarily +pale, now flushed up, until they were as red as they used +to be when she was a child of twelve years old. She +seized the baby out of her mother's arms and then +grasped at the bottle, leaving the old lady gaping at her, +furious, and holding the guilty tea-spoon. + +Amelia flung the bottle crashing into the fire-place. +"I will NOT have baby poisoned, Mamma," cried Emmy, +rocking the infant about violently with both her arms +round him and turning with flashing eyes at her mother. + +"Poisoned, Amelia!" said the old lady; "this language +to me?" + +"He shall not have any medicine but that which Mr. +Pestler sends for hi n. He told me that Daffy's Elixir was +poison." + +"Very good: you think I'm a murderess then," replied +Mrs. Sedley. "This is the language you use to your mother. +I have met with misfortunes: I have sunk low in life: I +have kept my carriage, and now walk on foot: but I did +not know I was a murderess before, and thank you for the +NEWS." + +"Mamma," said the poor girl, who was always ready for +tears--"you shouldn't be hard upon me. I--I didn't mean +--I mean, I did not wish to say you would to any +wrong to this dear child, only--" + +"Oh, no, my love,--only that I was a murderess; in +which case I had better go to the Old Bailey. Though I +didn't poison YOU, when you were a child, but gave you +the best of education and the most expensive masters +money could procure. Yes; I've nursed five children and +buried three; and the one I loved the best of all, and +tended through croup, and teething, and measles, and +hooping-cough, and brought up with foreign masters, +regardless of expense, and with accomplishments at Minerva +House--which I never had when I was a girl--when I was +too glad to honour my father and mother, that I might +live long in the land, and to be useful, and not to mope +all day in my room and act the fine lady--says I'm a +murderess. Ah, Mrs. Osborne! may YOU never nourish a +viper in your bosom, that's MY prayer." + +"Mamma, Mamma!" cried the bewildered girl; and the +child in her arms set up a frantic chorus of shouts. +"A murderess, indeed! Go down on your knees and +pray to God to cleanse your wicked ungrateful heart, +Amelia, and may He forgive you as I do." And Mrs. +Sedley tossed out of the room, hissing out the word +poison once more, and so ending her charitable +benediction. + +Till the termination of her natural life, this breach +between Mrs. Sedley and her daughter was never thoroughly mended. The quarrel gave the elder lady numberless +advantages which she did not fail to turn to account with +female ingenuity and perseverance. For instance, she +scarcely spoke to Amelia for many weeks afterwards. +She warned the domestics not to touch the child, as Mrs. +Osborne might be offended. She asked her daughter to +see and satisfy herself that there was no poison prepared +in the little daily messes that were concocted for Georgy. +When neighbours asked after the boy's health, she +referred them pointedly to Mrs. Osborne. SHE never +ventured to ask whether the baby was well or not. SHE +would not touch the child although he was her grandson, +and own precious darling, for she was not USED to +children, and might kill it. And whenever Mr. Pestler came +upon his healing inquisition, she received the doctor with +such a sarcastic and scornful demeanour, as made the +surgeon declare that not Lady Thistlewood herself, whom +he had the honour of attending professionally, could +give herself greater airs than old Mrs. Sedley, from whom +he never took a fee. And very likely Emmy was jealous +too, upon her own part, as what mother is not, of those +who would manage her children for her, or become +candidates for the first place in their affections. It is certain +that when anybody nursed the child, she was uneasy, and +that she would no more allow Mrs. Clapp or the +domestic to dress or tend him than she would have let them +wash her husband's miniature which hung up over her +little bed--the same little bed from which the poor girl +had gone to his; and to which she retired now for many +long, silent, tearful, but happy years. + +In this room was all Amelia's heart and treasure. Here +it was that she tended her boy and watched him through +the many ills of childhood, with a constant passion of +love. The elder George returned in him somehow, only +improved, and as if come back from heaven. In a +hundred little tones, looks, and movements, the child was +so like his father that the widow's heart thrilled as she +held him to it; and he would often ask the cause of her +tears. It was because of his likeness to his father, she +did not scruple to tell him. She talked constantly to him +about this dead father, and spoke of her love for George +to the innocent and wondering child; much more than she +ever had done to George himself, or to any confidante of +her youth. To her parents she never talked about this +matter, shrinking from baring her heart to them. Little +George very likely could understand no better than they, +but into his ears she poured her sentimental secrets +unreservedly, and into his only. The very joy of this +woman was a sort of grief, or so tender, at least, that +its expression was tears. Her sensibilities were so weak +and tremulous that perhaps they ought not to be talked +about in a book. I was told by Dr. Pestler (now a most +flourishing lady's physician, with a sumptuous dark green +carriage, a prospect of speedy knighthood, and a house +in Manchester Square) that her grief at weaning the child +was a sight that would have unmanned a Herod. He was +very soft-hearted many years ago, and his wife was +mortally jealous of Mrs. Amelia, then and long afterwards. + +Perhaps the doctor's lady had good reason for her +jealousy: most women shared it, of those who formed the +small circle of Amelia's acquaintance, and were quite +angry at the enthusiasm with which the other sex regarded +her. For almost all men who came near her loved +her; though no doubt they would be at a loss to tell you +why. She was not brilliant, nor witty, nor wise over +much, nor extraordinarily handsome. But wherever she +went she touched and charmed every one of the male +sex, as invariably as she awakened the scorn and +incredulity of her own sisterhood. I think it was her +weakness which was her principal charm--a kind of sweet +submission and softness, which seemed to appeal to +each man she met for his sympathy and protection. We +have seen how in the regiment, though she spoke but to +few of George's comrades there, all the swords of the +young fellows at the mess-table would have leapt from +their scabbards to fight round her; and so it was in +the little narrow lodging-house and circle at Fulham, she +interested and pleased everybody. If she had been Mrs. +Mango herself, of the great house of Mango, Plantain, +and Co., Crutched Friars, and the magnificent proprietress +of the Pineries, Fulham, who gave summer dejeuners +frequented by Dukes and Earls, and drove about +the parish with magnificent yellow liveries and bay horses, +such as the royal stables at Kensington themselves could +not turn out--I say had she been Mrs. Mango herself, or +her son's wife, Lady Mary Mango (daughter of the +Earl of Castlemouldy, who condescended to marry the +head of the firm), the tradesmen of the neighbourhood +could not pay her more honour than they invariably +showed to the gentle young widow, when she passed by +their doors, or made her humble purchases at their shops. + +Thus it was not only Mr. Pestler, the medical man, but +Mr. Linton the young assistant, who doctored the servant +maids and small tradesmen, and might be seen any day +reading the Times in the surgery, who openly declared +himself the slave of Mrs. Osborne. He was a personable +young gentleman, more welcome at Mrs. Sedley's lodgings +than his principal; and if anything went wrong with +Georgy, he would drop in twice or thrice in the day to +see the little chap, and without so much as the thought +of a fee. He would abstract lozenges, tamarinds, and +other produce from the surgery-drawers for little +Georgy's benefit, and compounded draughts and mixtures +for him of miraculous sweetness, so that it was quite a +pleasure to the child to be ailing. He and Pestler, his +chief, sat up two whole nights by the boy in that +momentous and awful week when Georgy had the measles; and +when you would have thought, from the mother's terror, +that there had never been measles in the world before. +Would they have done as much for other people? Did +they sit up for the folks at the Pineries, when Ralph +Plantagenet, and Gwendoline, and Guinever Mango had the +same juvenile complaint? Did they sit up for little Mary +Clapp, the landlord's daughter, who actually caught the +disease of little Georgy? Truth compels one to say, no. +They slept quite undisturbed, at least as far as she was +concerned--pronounced hers to be a slight case, which +would almost cure itself, sent her in a draught or two, +and threw in bark when the child rallied, with perfect +indifference, and just for form's sake. + +Again, there was the little French chevalier opposite, +who gave lessons in his native tongue at various schools +in the neighbourhood, aud who might be heard in his +apartment of nights playing tremulous old gavottes and +minuets on a wheezy old fiddle. Whenever this powdered +and courteous old man, who never missed a Sunday at the +convent chapel at Hammersmith, and who was in all +respects, thoughts, conduct, and bearing utterly unlike the +bearded savages of his nation, who curse perfidious +Albion, and scowl at you from over their cigars, in the +Quadrant arcades at the present day--whenever the +old Chevalier de Talonrouge spoke of Mistress Osborne, +he would first finish his pinch of snuff, flick away the +remaining particles of dust with a graceful wave of his +hand, gather up his fingers again into a bunch, and, +bringing them up to his mouth, blow them open with a kiss, +exclaiming, Ah! la divine creature! He vowed and +protested that when Amelia walked in the Brompton Lanes +flowers grew in profusion under her feet. He called little +Georgy Cupid, and asked him news of Venus, his mamma; +and told the astonished Betty Flanagan that she was +one of the Graces, and the favourite attendant of the +Reine des Amours. + +Instances might be multiplied of this easily gained and +unconscious popularity. Did not Mr. Binny, the mild +and genteel curate of the district chapel, which the family +attended, call assiduously upon the widow, dandle the +little boy on his knee, and offer to teach him Latin, to the +anger of the elderly virgin, his sister, who kept house +for him? "There is nothing in her, Beilby," the latter +lady would say. "When she comes to tea here she does +not speak a word during the whole evening. She is but a +poor lackadaisical creature, and it is my belief has no +heart at all. It is only her pretty face which all you +gentlemen admire so. Miss Grits, who has five thousand +pounds, and expectations besides, has twice as much +character, and is a thousand times more agreeable to my +taste; and if she were good-looking I know that you would +think her perfection." + +Very likely Miss Binny was right to a great extent. It +IS the pretty face which creates sympathy in the hearts of +men, those wicked rogues. A woman may possess the +wisdom and chastity of Minerva, and we give no heed to +her, if she has a plain face. What folly will not a pair of +bright eyes make pardonable? What dulness may not +red lips and sweet accents render pleasant? And so, with +their usual sense of justice, ladies argue that because a +woman is handsome, therefore she is a fool. O ladies, +ladies! there are some of you who are neither handsome +nor wise. + +These are but trivial incidents to recount in the life of +our heroine. Her tale does not deal in wonders, as the +gentle reader has already no doubt perceived; and if a +journal had been kept of her proceedings during the +seven years after the birth of her son, there would be +found few incidents more remarkable in it than that of +the measles, recorded in the foregoing page. Yes, one +day, and greatly to her wonder, the Reverend Mr. Binny, +just mentioned, asked her to change her name of Osborne +for his own; when, with deep blushes and tears in her +eyes and voice, she thanked him for his regard for her, +expressed gratitude for his attentions to her and to her +poor little boy, but said that she never, never could +think of any but--but the husband whom she had lost. + +On the twenty-fifth of April, and the eighteenth of +June, the days of marriage and widowhood, she kept her +room entirely, consecrating them (and we do not know +how many hours of solitary night-thought, her little boy +sleeping in his crib by her bedside) to the memory of that +departed friend. During the day she was more active. +She had to teach George to read and to write and a little +to draw. She read books, in order that she might tell +him stories from them. As his eyes opened and his mind +expanded under the influence of the outward nature +round about him, she taught the child, to the best of +her humble power, to acknowledge the Maker of all, and +every night and every morning he and she--(in that +awful and touching communion which I think must bring +a thrill to the heart of every man who witnesses or who +remembers it)--the mother and the little boy--prayed +to Our Father together, the mother pleading with all her +gentle heart, the child lisping after her as she spoke. And +each time they prayed to God to bless dear Papa, as +if he were alive and in the room with them. + +To wash and dress this young gentleman--to take him +for a run of the mornings, before breakfast, and the +retreat of grandpapa for "business"--to make for him the +most wonderful and ingenious dresses, for which end the +thrifty widow cut up and altered every available little bit +of finery which she possessed out of her wardrobe during +her marriage--for Mrs. Osborne herself (greatly to her +mother's vexation, who preferred fine clothes, especially +since her misfortunes) always wore a black gown and a +straw bonnet with a black ribbon--occupied her many +hours of the day. Others she had to spare, at the service +of her mother and her old father. She had taken the pains +to learn, and used to play cribbage with this gentleman +on the nights when he did not go to his club. She sang +for him when he was so minded, and it was a good +sign, for he invariably fell into a comfortable sleep during +the music. She wrote out his numerous memorials, +letters, prospectuses, and projects. It was in her +handwriting that most of the old gentleman's former +acquaintances were informed that he had become an agent for +the Black Diamond and Anti-Cinder Coal Company and +could supply his friends and the public with the best coals +at --s. per chaldron. All he did was to sign the circulars +with his flourish and signature, and direct them in a +shaky, clerklike hand. One of these papers was sent to +Major Dobbin, --Regt., care of Messrs. Cox and Greenwood; +but the Major being in Madras at the time, had no +particular call for coals. He knew, though, the hand +which had written the prospectus. Good God! what +would he not have given to hold it in his own! A second +prospectus came out, informing the Major that J. Sedley +and Company, having established agencies at Oporto, +Bordeaux, and St. Mary's, were enabled to offer to their +friends and the public generally the finest and most +celebrated growths of ports, sherries, and claret wines at +reasonable prices and under extraordinary advantages. +Acting upon this hint, Dobbin furiously canvassed the +governor, the commander-in-chief, the judges, the +regiments, and everybody whom he knew in the Presidency, +and sent home to Sedley and Co. orders for wine which +perfectly astonished Mr. Sedley and Mr. Clapp, who was +the Co. in the business. But no more orders came after +that first burst of good fortune, on which poor old Sedley +was about to build a house in the City, a regiment of +clerks, a dock to himself, and correspondents all over +the world. The old gentleman's former taste in wine had +gone: the curses of the mess-room assailed Major Dobbin +for the vile drinks he had been the means of introducing +there; and he bought back a great quantity of the wine +and sold it at public outcry, at an enormous loss to himself. +As for Jos, who was by this time promoted to a seat +at the Revenue Board at Calcutta, he was wild with rage +when the post brought him out a bundle of these +Bacchanalian prospectuses, with a private note from his +father, telling Jos that his senior counted upon him in +this enterprise, and had consigned a quantity of select +wines to him, as per invoice, drawing bills upon him for +the amount of the same. Jos, who would no more have it +supposed that his father, Jos Sedley's father, of the Board +of Revenue, was a wine merchant asking for orders, than +that he was Jack Ketch, refused the bills with scorn, wrote +back contumeliously to the old gentleman, bidding him +to mind his own affairs; and the protested paper coming +back, Sedley and Co. had to take it up, with the profits +which they had made out of the Madras venture, and +with a little portion of Emmy's savings. + +Besides her pension of fifty pounds a year, there had +been five hundred pounds, as her husband's executor +stated, left in the agent's hands at the time of Osborne's +demise, which sum, as George's guardian, Dobbin +proposed to put out at 8 per cent in an Indian house of +agency. Mr. Sedley, who thought the Major had some +roguish intentions of his own about the money, was +strongly against this plan; and he went to the agents to +protest personally against the employment of the money +in question, when he learned, to his surprise, that there +had been no such sum in their hands, that all the late +Captain's assets did not amount to a hundred pounds, +and that the five hundred pounds in question must be a +separate sum, of which Major Dobbin knew the particulars. +More than ever convinced that there was some +roguery, old Sedley pursued the Major. As his daughter's +nearest friend, he demanded with a high hand a statement +of the late Captain's accounts. Dobbin's stammering, +blushing, and awkwardness added to the other's +convictions that he had a rogue to deal with, and in a +majestic tone he told that officer a piece of his mind, as +he called it, simply stating his belief that the Major was +unlawfully detaining his late son-in-law's money. + +Dobbin at this lost all patience, and if his accuser had +not been so old and so broken, a quarrel might have +ensued between them at the Slaughters' Coffee-house, in +a box of which place of entertainment the gentlemen had +their colloquy. "Come upstairs, sir," lisped out the +Major. "I insist on your coming up the stairs, and I will +show which is the injured party, poor George or I"; and, +dragging the old gentleman up to his bedroom, he +produced from his desk Osborne's accounts, and a bundle +of IOU's which the latter had given, who, to do him +justice, was always ready to give an IOU. "He paid +his bills in England," Dobbin added, "but he had not a +hundred pounds in the world when he fell. I and one or +two of his brother officers made up the little sum, which +was all that we could spare, and you dare tell us that +we are trying to cheat the widow and the orphan." +Sedley was very contrite and humbled, though the fact is +that William Dobbin had told a great falsehood to the old +gentleman; having himself given every shilling of the +money, having buried his friend, and paid all the fees and +charges incident upon the calamity and removal of poor +Amelia. + +About these expenses old Osborne had never given +himself any trouble to think, nor any other relative of +Amelia, nor Amelia herself, indeed. She trusted to Major +Dobbin as an accountant, took his somewhat confused +calculations for granted, and never once suspected how +much she was in his debt. + +Twice or thrice in the year, according to her promise, +she wrote him letters to Madras, letters all about +little Georgy. How he treasured these papers! Whenever +Amelia wrote he answered, and not until then. But +he sent over endless remembrances of himself to his +godson and to her. He ordered and sent a box of scarfs +and a grand ivory set of chess-men from China. The +pawns were little green and white men, with real swords +and shields; the knights were on horseback, the castles +were on the backs of elephants. "Mrs. Mango's own set at +the Pineries was not so fine," Mr. Pestler remarked. These +chess-men were the delight of Georgy's life, who printed +his first letter in acknowledgement of this gift of his +godpapa. He sent over preserves and pickles, which latter +the young gentleman tried surreptitiously in the sideboard +and half-killed himself with eating. He thought it was a +judgement upon him for stealing, they were so hot. Emmy +wrote a comical little account of this mishap to the +Major: it pleased him to think that her spirits were rallying +and that she could be merry sometimes now. He +sent over a pair of shawls, a white one for her and a black +one with palm-leaves for her mother, and a pair of red +scarfs, as winter wrappers, for old Mr. Sedley and George. +The shawls were worth fifty guineas apiece at the very +least, as Mrs. Sedley knew. She wore hers in state at +church at Brompton, and was congratulated by her +female friends upon the splendid acquisition. Emmy's, too, +became prettily her modest black gown. "What a pity it +is she won't think of him!" Mrs. Sedley remarked to +Mrs. Clapp and to all her friends of Brompton. "Jos never +sent us such presents, I am sure, and grudges us +everything. It is evident that the Major is over head and ears +in love with her; and yet, whenever I so much as hint it, +she turns red and begins to cry and goes and sits upstairs +with her miniature. I'm sick of that miniature. I wish we +had never seen those odious purse-proud Osbornes." + +Amidst such humble scenes and associates George's +early youth was passed, and the boy grew up delicate, +sensitive, imperious, woman-bred--domineering the +gentle mother whom he loved with passionate affection. He +ruled all the rest of the little world round about him. +As he grew, the elders were amazed at his haughty +manner and his constant likeness to his father. He asked +questions about everything, as inquiring youth will do. The +profundity of his remarks and interrogatories astonished +his old grandfather, who perfectly bored the club at the +tavern with stories about the little lad's learning and +genius. He suffered his grandmother with a good-humoured indifference. The small circle round about him +believed that the equal of the boy did not exist upon the +earth. Georgy inherited his father's pride, and perhaps +thought they were not wrong. + +When he grew to be about six years old, Dobbin began +to write to him very much. The Major wanted to hear +that Georgy was going to a school and hoped he would +acquit himself with credit there: or would he have a good +tutor at home? It was time that he should begin to learn; +and his godfather and guardian hinted that he hoped to +be allowed to defray the charges of the boy's education, +which would fall heavily upon his mother's straitened +income. The Major, in a word, was always thinking about +Amelia and her little boy, and by orders to his agents +kept the latter provided with picture-books, paint-boxes, +desks, and all conceivable implements of amusement and +instruction. Three days before George's sixth birthday a +gentleman in a gig, accompanied by a servant, drove +up to Mr. Sedley's house and asked to see Master George +Osborne: it was Mr. Woolsey, military tailor, of Conduit +Street, who came at the Major's order to measure the +young gentleman for a suit of clothes. He had had the +honour of making for the Captain, the young +gentleman's father. + +Sometimes, too, and by the Major's desire no doubt, +his sisters, the Misses Dobbin, would call in the family +carriage to take Amelia and the little boy to drive if they +were so inclined. The patronage and kindness of these +ladies was very uncomfortable to Amelia, but she bore it +meekly enough, for her nature was to yield; and, besides, +the carriage and its splendours gave little Georgy +immense pleasure. The ladies begged occasionally that the +child might pass a day with them, and he was always glad +to go to that fine garden-house at Denmark Hill, where +they lived, and where there were such fine grapes in the +hot-houses and peaches on the walls. + +One day they kindly came over to Amelia with news +which they were SURE would delight her--something VERY +interesting about their dear William. + +"What was it: was he coming home?" she asked with +pleasure beaming in her eyes. + +"Oh, no--not the least--but they had very good reason +to believe that dear William was about to be married-- +and to a relation of a very dear friend of Amelia's--to +Miss Glorvina O'Dowd, Sir Michael O'Dowd's sister, +who had gone out to join Lady O'Dowd at Madras--a very +beautiful and accomplished girl, everybody said." + +Amelia said "Oh!" Amelia was very VERY happy indeed. +But she supposed Glorvina could not be like her old +acquaintance, who was most kind--but--but she was +very happy indeed. And by some impulse of which I +cannot explain the meaning, she took George in her arms +and kissed him with an extraordinary tenderness. Her +eyes were quite moist when she put the child down; and +she scarcely spoke a word during the whole of the +drive--though she was so very happy indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX + + +A Cynical Chapter + +Our duty now takes us back for a brief space to some old +Hampshire acquaintances of ours, whose hopes respecting +the disposal of their rich kinswoman's property were so +woefully disappointed. After counting upon thirty thousand +pounds from his sister, it was a heavy blow. to Bute Crawley +to receive but five; out of which sum, when he had paid +his own debts and those of Jim, his son at college, a very +small fragment remained to portion off his four plain +daughters. Mrs. Bute never knew, or at least never +acknowledged, how far her own tyrannous behaviour had +tended to ruin her husband. All that woman could do, she +vowed and protested she had done. Was it her fault if +she did not possess those sycophantic arts which her +hypocritical nephew, Pitt Crawley, practised? She wished +him all the happiness which he merited out of his +ill-gotten gains. "At least the money will remain in the +family," she said charitably. "Pitt will never spend it, my +dear, that is quite certain; for a greater miser does not +exist in England, and he is as odious, though in a +different way, as his spendthrift brother, the abandoned +Rawdon." + +So Mrs. Bute, after the first shock of rage and +disappointment, began to accommodate herself as best +she could to her altered fortunes and to save and retrench +with all her might. She instructed her daughters how to +bear poverty cheerfully, and invented a thousand notable +methods to conceal or evade it. She took them about to +balls and public places in the neighbourhood, with +praiseworthy energy; nay, she entertained her friends in a +hospitable comfortable manner at the Rectory, and much +more frequently than before dear Miss Crawley's legacy +had fallen in. From her outward bearing nobody would +have supposed that the family had been disappointed +in their expectations, or have guessed from her frequent +appearance in public how she pinched and starved at +home. Her girls had more milliners' furniture than they +had ever enjoyed before. They appeared perseveringly +at the Winchester and Southampton assemblies; they +penetrated to Cowes for the race-balls and regatta-gaieties +there; and their carriage, with the horses taken from the +plough, was at work perpetually, until it began almost to +be believed that the four sisters had had fortunes left them +by their aunt, whose name the family never mentioned in +public but with the most tender gratitude and regard. I +know no sort of lying which is more frequent in Vanity +Fair than this, and it may be remarked how people who +practise it take credit to themselves for their hypocrisy, +and fancy that they are exceedingly virtuous and +praiseworthy, because they are able to deceive the world +with regard to the extent of their means. + +Mrs. Bute certainly thought herself one of the most +virtuous women in England, and the sight of her happy +family was an edifying one to strangers. They were so +cheerful, so loving, so well-educated, so simple! Martha +painted flowers exquisitely and furnished half the charity +bazaars in the county. Emma was a regular County Bulbul, +and her verses in the Hampshire Telegraph were +the glory of its Poet's Corner. Fanny and Matilda sang +duets together, Mamma playing the piano, and the other +two sisters sitting with their arms round each other's waists +and listening affectionately. Nobody saw the poor girls +drumming at the duets in private. No one saw Mamma +drilling them rigidly hour after hour. In a word, Mrs. Bute +put a good face against fortune and kept up appearances +in the most virtuous manner. + +Everything that a good and respectable mother could +do Mrs. Bute did. She got over yachting men from +Southampton, parsons from the Cathedral Close at Winchester, +and officers from the barracks there. She tried to inveigle +the young barristers at assizes and encouraged Jim to +bring home friends with whom he went out hunting with +the H. H. What will not a mother do for the benefit of +her beloved ones? + +Between such a woman and her brother-in-law, the +odious Baronet at the Hall, it is manifest that there could +be very little in common. The rupture between Bute and +his brother Sir Pitt was complete; indeed, between Sir +Pitt and the whole county, to which the old man was a +scandal. His dislike for respectable society increased with +age, and the lodge-gates had not opened to a gentleman's +carriage-wheels since Pitt and Lady Jane came to pay their +visit of duty after their marriage. + +That was an awful and unfortunate visit, never to be +thought of by the family without horror. Pitt begged his +wife, with a ghastly countenance, never to speak of it, +and it was only through Mrs. Bute herself, who still +knew everything which took place at the Hall, that the +circumstances of Sir Pitt's reception of his son and +daughter-in-law were ever known at all. + +As they drove up the avenue of the park in their neat +and well-appointed carriage, Pitt remarked with dismay +and wrath great gaps among the trees--his trees--which +the old Baronet was felling entirely without license. The +park wore an aspect of utter dreariness and ruin. The +drives were ill kept, and the neat carriage splashed and +floundered in muddy pools along the road. The great +sweep in front of the terrace and entrance stair was +black and covered with mosses; the once trim flower-beds +rank and weedy. Shutters were up along almost the +whole line of the house; the great hall-door was unbarred +after much ringing of the bell; an individual in ribbons +was seen flitting up the black oak stair, as Horrocks at +length admitted the heir of Queen's Crawley and his bride +into the halls of their fathers. He led the way into Sir +Pitt's "Library," as it was called, the fumes of tobacco +growing stronger as Pitt and Lady Jane approached that +apartment, "Sir Pitt ain't very well," Horrocks remarked +apologetically and hinted that his master was afflicted +with lumbago. + +The library looked out on the front walk and park. +Sir Pitt had opened one of the windows, and was bawling +out thence to the postilion and Pitt's servant, who seemed +to be about to take the baggage down. + +"Don't move none of them trunks," he cried, pointing +with a pipe which he held in his hand. "It's only a morning +visit, Tucker, you fool. Lor, what cracks that off hoss +has in his heels! Ain't there no one at the King's Head to +rub 'em a little? How do, Pitt? How do, my dear? Come +to see the old man, hay? 'Gad--you've a pretty face, too. +You ain't like that old horse-godmother, your mother. +Come and give old Pitt a kiss, like a good little gal." + +The embrace disconcerted the daughter-in-law +somewhat, as the caresses of the old gentleman, unshorn and +perfumed with tobacco, might well do. But she +remembered that her brother Southdown had mustachios, +and smoked cigars, and submitted to the Baronet with a +tolerable grace. + +"Pitt has got vat," said the Baronet, after this mark of +affection. "Does he read ee very long zermons, my dear? +Hundredth Psalm, Evening Hymn, hay Pitt? Go and get +a glass of Malmsey and a cake for my Lady Jane, Horrocks, +you great big booby, and don't stand stearing there like +a fat pig. I won't ask you to stop, my dear; you'll find it too +stoopid, and so should I too along a Pitt. I'm an old man +now, and like my own ways, and my pipe and backgammon +of a night." + +"I can play at backgammon, sir," said Lady Jane, +laughing. "I used to play with Papa and Miss Crawley, didn't +I, Mr. Crawley?" + +"Lady Jane can play, sir, at the game to which you +state that you are so partial," Pitt said haughtily. + +But she wawn't stop for all that. Naw, naw, goo back +to Mudbury and give Mrs. Rincer a benefit; or drive down +to the Rectory and ask Buty for a dinner. He'll be charmed +to see you, you know; he's so much obliged to you for +gettin' the old woman's money. Ha, ha! Some of it will +do to patch up the Hall when I'm gone." + +"I perceive, sir," said Pitt with a heightened voice, +"that your people will cut down the timber." + +"Yees, yees, very fine weather, and seasonable for the +time of year," Sir Pitt answered, who had suddenly +grown deaf. "But I'm gittin' old, Pitt, now. Law bless you, +you ain't far from fifty yourself. But he wears well, my +pretty Lady Jane, don't he? It's all godliness, sobriety, and +a moral life. Look at me, I'm not very fur from fowr-score +--he, he"; and he laughed, and took snuff, and leered +at her and pinched her hand. + +Pitt once more brought the conversation back to the +timber, but the Baronet was deaf again in an instant. + +"I'm gittin' very old, and have been cruel bad this year +with the lumbago. I shan't be here now for long; but I'm +glad ee've come, daughter-in-law. I like your face, Lady +Jane: it's got none of the damned high-boned Binkie look +in it; and I'll give ee something pretty, my dear, to go to +Court in." And he shuffled across the room to a cupboard, +from which he took a little old case containing jewels of +some value. "Take that," said he, "my dear; it belonged +to my mother, and afterwards to the first Lady Binkie. +Pretty pearls--never gave 'em the ironmonger's daughter. +No, no. Take 'em and put 'em up quick," said he, thrusting +the case into his daughter's hand, and clapping the door of +the cabinet to, as Horrocks entered with a salver and +refreshments. + +"What have you a been and given Pitt's wife?" said +the individual in ribbons, when Pitt and Lady Jane had +taken leave of the old gentleman. It was Miss Horrocks, +the butler's daughter--the cause of the scandal +throughout the county--the lady who reigned now almost +supreme at Queen's Crawley. + +The rise and progress of those Ribbons had been +marked with dismay by the county and family. The +Ribbons opened an account at the Mudbury Branch Savings +Bank; the Ribbons drove to church, monopolising the +pony-chaise, which was for the use of the servants at +the Hall. The domestics were dismissed at her pleasure. +The Scotch gardener, who still lingered on the premises, +taking a pride in his walls and hot-houses, and indeed +making a pretty good livelihood by the garden, which he +farmed, and of which he sold the produce at Southampton, +found the Ribbons eating peaches on a sunshiny morning +at the south-wall, and had his ears boxed when he +remonstrated about this attack on his property. He and +his Scotch wife and his Scotch children, the only +respectable inhabitants of Queen's Crawley, were forced to +migrate, with their goods and their chattels, and left the +stately comfortable gardens to go to waste, and the +flower-beds to run to seed. Poor Lady Crawley's rose-garden +became the dreariest wilderness. Only two or three +domestics shuddered in the bleak old servants' hall. The +stables and offices were vacant, and shut up, and half +ruined. Sir Pitt lived in private, and boozed nightly with +Horrocks, his butler or house-steward (as he now began +to be called), and the abandoned Ribbons. The times +were very much changed since the period when she drove +to Mudbury in the spring-cart and called the small tradesmen +"Sir." It may have been shame, or it may have been +dislike of his neighbours, but the old Cynic of Queen's +Crawley hardly issued from his park-gates at all now. He +quarrelled with his agents and screwed his tenants by +letter. His days were passed in conducting his own +correspondence; the lawyers and farm-bailiffs who had to +do business with him could not reach him but through the +Ribbons, who received them at the door of the +housekeeper's room, which commanded the back entrance by +which they were admitted; and so the Baronet's daily +perplexities increased, and his embarrassments multiplied +round him. + +The horror of Pitt Crawley may be imagined, as these +reports of his father's dotage reached the most exemplary +and correct of gentlemen. He trembled daily lest he should +hear that the Ribbons was proclaimed his second legal +mother-in-law. After that first and last visit, his father's +name was never mentioned in Pitt's polite and genteel +establishment. It was the skeleton in his house, and all the +family walked by it in terror and silence. The Countess +Southdown kept on dropping per coach at the lodge-gate +the most exciting tracts, tracts which ought to frighten +the hair off your head. Mrs. Bute at the parsonage +nightly looked out to see if the sky was red over the +elms behind which the Hall stood, and the mansion was on +fire. Sir G. Wapshot and Sir H. Fuddlestone, old friends of +the house, wouldn't sit on the bench with Sir Pitt at +Quarter Sessions, and cut him dead in the High Street +of Southampton, where the reprobate stood offering his +dirty old hands to them. Nothing had any effect upon him; +he put his hands into his pockets, and burst out laughing, +as he scrambled into his carriage and four; he used to +burst out laughing at Lady Southdown's tracts; and he +laughed at his sons, and at the world, and at the +Ribbons when she was angry, which was not seldom. + +Miss Horrocks was installed as housekeeper at Queen's +Crawley, and ruled all the domestics there with great +majesty and rigour. All the servants were instructed to +address her as "Mum," or "Madam"--and there was one +little maid, on her promotion, who persisted in calling +her "My Lady," without any rebuke on the part of the +housekeeper. "There has been better ladies, and there +has been worser, Hester," was Miss Horrocks' reply to +this compliment of her inferior; so she ruled, having +supreme power over all except her father, whom, +however, she treated with considerable haughtiness, warning +him not to be too familiar in his behaviour to one "as was +to be a Baronet's lady." Indeed, she rehearsed that exalted +part in life with great satisfaction to herself, and to the +amusement of old Sir Pitt, who chuckled at her airs and +graces, and would laugh by the hour together at her +assumptions of dignity and imitations of genteel life. +He swore it was as good as a play to see her in the +character of a fine dame, and he made her put on one of +the first Lady Crawley's court-dresses, swearing (entirely +to Miss Horrocks' own concurrence) that the dress +became her prodigiously, and threatening to drive her off +that very instant to Court in a coach-and-four. She had +the ransacking of the wardrobes of the two defunct ladies, +and cut and hacked their posthumous finery so as to suit +her own tastes and figure. And she would have liked to +take possession of their jewels and trinkets too; but the +old Baronet had locked them away in his private cabinet; +nor could she coax or wheedle him out of the keys. And +it is a fact, that some time after she left Queen's Crawley +a copy-book belonging to this lady was discovered, which +showed that she had taken great pains in private to learn +the art of writing in general, and especially of writing +her own name as Lady Crawley, Lady Betsy Horrocks, +Lady Elizabeth Crawley, &c. + +Though the good people of the Parsonage never went to +the Hall and shunned the horrid old dotard its owner, yet +they kept a strict knowledge of all that happened there, +and were looking out every day for the catastrophe for +which Miss Horrocks was also eager. But Fate intervened +enviously and prevented her from receiving the reward due +to such immaculate love and virtue. + +One day the Baronet surprised "her ladyship," as he +jocularly called her, seated at that old and tuneless piano +in the drawing-room, which had scarcely been touched +since Becky Sharp played quadrilles upon it--seated at +the piano with the utmost gravity and squalling to the +best of her power in imitation of the music which she +had sometimes heard. The little kitchen-maid on her +promotion was standing at her mistress's side, quite delighted +during the operation, and wagging her head up and down +and crying, "Lor, Mum, 'tis bittiful"--just like a genteel +sycophant in a real drawing-room. + +This incident made the old Baronet roar with laughter, +as usual. He narrated the circumstance a dozen times to +Horrocks in the course of the evening, and greatly to the +discomfiture of Miss Horrocks. He thrummed on the table +as if it had been a musical instrument, and squalled in +imitation of her manner of singing. He vowed that such +a beautiful voice ought to be cultivated and declared she +ought to have singing-masters, in which proposals she +saw nothing ridiculous. He was in great spirits that night, +and drank with his friend and butler an extraordinary +quantity of rum-and-water--at a very late hour the +faithful friend and domestic conducted his master to his +bedroom. + +Half an hour afterwards there was a great hurry and +bustle in the house. Lights went about from window to +window in the lonely desolate old Hall, whereof but two or +three rooms were ordinarily occupied by its owner. +Presently, a boy on a pony went galloping off to Mudbury, +to the Doctor's house there. And in another hour (by +which fact we ascertain how carefully the excellent Mrs. +Bute Crawley had always kept up an understanding with +the great house), that lady in her clogs and calash, the +Reverend Bute Crawley, and James Crawley, her son, +had walked over from the Rectory through the park, and +had entered the mansion by the open hall-door. + +They passed through the hall and the small oak parlour, +on the table of which stood the three tumblers and the +empty rum-bottle which had served for Sir Pitt's carouse, +and through that apartment into Sir Pitt's study, where +they found Miss Horrocks, of the guilty ribbons, with a +wild air, trying at the presses and escritoires with a +bunch of keys. She dropped them with a scream of +terror, as little Mrs. Bute's eyes flashed out at her from +under her black calash. + +"Look at that, James and Mr. Crawley,?" cried Mrs. +Bute, pointing at the scared figure of the black-eyed, +guilty wench. + +"He gave 'em me; he gave 'em me!" she cried. + +"Gave them you, you abandoned creature!" screamed +Mrs. Bute. "Bear witness, Mr. Crawley, we found this +good-for-nothing woman in the act of stealing your +brother's property; and she will be hanged, as I always +said she would." + +Betsy Horrocks, quite daunted, flung herself down on +her knees, bursting into tears. But those who know a really +good woman are aware that she is not in a hurry to +forgive, and that the humiliation of an enemy is a triumph +to her soul. + +"Ring the bell, James," Mrs. Bute said. "Go on ringing it +till the people come." The three or four domestics +resident in the deserted old house came presently at that +jangling and continued summons. + +"Put that woman in the strong-room," she said. "We +caught her in the act of robbing Sir Pitt. Mr. Crawley, +you'll make out her committal--and, Beddoes, you'll +drive her over in the spring cart, in the morning, to +Southampton Gaol." + +"My dear," interposed the Magistrate and Rector-- +"she's only--" + +"Are there no handcuffs?" Mrs. Bute continued, +stamping in her clogs. "There used to be handcuffs. +Where's the creature's abominable father?" + +"He DID give 'em me," still cried poor Betsy; "didn't +he, Hester? You saw Sir Pitt--you know you did-- +give 'em me, ever so long ago--the day after Mudbury +fair: not that I want 'em. Take 'em if you think they +ain't mine." And here the unhappy wretch pulled out +from her pocket a large pair of paste shoe-buckles which +had excited her admiration, and which she had just +appropriated out of one of the bookcases in the study, +where they had lain. + +"Law, Betsy, how could you go for to tell such a wicked +story!" said Hester, the little kitchen-maid late on her +promotion--"and to Madame Crawley, so good and kind, +and his Rev'rince (with a curtsey), and you may search +all MY boxes, Mum, I'm sure, and here's my keys as I'm +an honest girl, though of pore parents and workhouse +bred--and if you find so much as a beggarly bit of lace +or a silk stocking out of all the gownds as YOU'VE had the +picking of, may I never go to church agin." + +"Give up your keys, you hardened hussy," hissed out +the virtuous little lady in the calash. + +"And here's a candle, Mum, and if you please, Mum, +I can show you her room, Mum, and the press in the +housekeeper's room, Mum, where she keeps heaps and +heaps of things, Mum," cried out the eager little Hester +with a profusion of curtseys. + +"Hold your tongue, if you please. I know the room +which the creature occupies perfectly well. Mrs. Brown, +have the goodness to come with me, and Beddoes don't +you lose sight of that woman," said Mrs. Bute, seizing the +candle. "Mr. Crawley, you had better go upstairs and +see that they are not murdering your unfortunate brother" +--and the calash, escorted by Mrs. Brown, walked away +to the apartment which, as she said truly, she knew +perfectly well. + +Bute went upstairs and found the Doctor from +Mudbury, with the frightened Horrocks over his master in a +chair. They were trying to bleed Sir Pitt Crawley. + +With the early morning an express was sent off to Mr. +Pitt Crawley by the Rector's lady, who assumed the +command of everything, and had watched the old Baronet +through the night. He had been brought back to a sort of +life; he could not speak, but seemed to recognize people. +Mrs. Bute kept resolutely by his bedside. She never seemed +to want to sleep, that little woman, and did not close her +fiery black eyes once, though the Doctor snored in the +arm-chair. Horrocks made some wild efforts to assert +his authority and assist his master; but Mrs. Bute called +him a tipsy old wretch and bade him never show his face +again in that house, or he should be transported like his +abominable daughter. + +Terrified by her manner, he slunk down to the oak +parlour where Mr. James was, who, having tried the +bottle standing there and found no liquor in it, ordered +Mr. Horrocks to get another bottle of rum, which he +fetched, with clean glasses, and to which the Rector and +his son sat down, ordering Horrocks to put down the keys +at that instant and never to show his face again. + +Cowed by this behaviour, Horrocks gave up the keys, +and he and his daughter slunk off silently through the +night and gave up possession of the house of Queen's +Crawley. + + + + +CHAPTER XL + +In Which Becky Is Recognized by the Family + +The heir of Crawley arrived at home, in due time, after +this catastrophe, and henceforth may be said to have +reigned in Queen's Crawley. For though the old Baronet +survived many months, he never recovered the use of +his intellect or his speech completely, and the government +of the estate devolved upon his elder son. In a +strange condition Pitt found it. Sir Pitt was always buying +and mortgaging; he had twenty men of business, and +quarrels with each; quarrels with all his tenants, and +lawsuits with them; lawsuits with the lawyers; lawsuits +with the Mining and Dock Companies in which he was +proprietor; and with every person with whom he had +business. To unravel these difficulties and to set the +estate clear was a task worthy of the orderly and +persevering diplomatist of Pumpernickel, and he set +himself to work with prodigious assiduity. His whole family, +of course, was transported to Queen's Crawley, whither +Lady Southdown, of course, came too; and she set about +converting the parish under the Rector's nose, and +brought down her irregular clergy to the dismay of the +angry Mrs Bute. Sir Pitt had concluded no bargain for +the sale of the living of Queen's Crawley; when it should +drop, her Ladyship proposed to take the patronage into +her own hands and present a young protege to the +Rectory, on which subject the diplomatic Pitt said +nothing. + +Mrs. Bute's intentions with regard to Miss Betsy +Horrocks were not carried into effect, and she paid no visit +to Southampton Gaol. She and her father left the Hall +when the latter took possession of the Crawley Arms in +the village, of which he had got a lease from Sir Pitt. +The ex-butler had obtained a small freehold there +likewise, which gave him a vote for the borough. The Rector +had another of these votes, and these and four others +formed the representative body which returned the two +members for Queen's Crawley. + +There was a show of courtesy kept up between the +Rectory and the Hall ladies, between the younger ones at +least, for Mrs. Bute and Lady Southdown never could +meet without battles, and gradually ceased seeing each +other. Her Ladyship kept her room when the ladies from +the Rectory visited their cousins at the Hall. Perhaps Mr. +Pitt was not very much displeased at these occasional +absences of his mamma-in-law. He believed the Binkie +family to be the greatest and wisest and most interesting +in the world, and her Ladyship and his aunt had long held +ascendency over him; but sometimes he felt that she +commanded him too much. To be considered young was +complimentary, doubtless, but at six-and-forty to be +treated as a boy was sometimes mortifying. Lady Jane +yielded up everything, however, to her mother. She was +only fond of her children in private, and it was lucky +for her that Lady Southdown's multifarious business, her +conferences with ministers, and her correspondence with +all the missionaries of Africa, Asia, aud Australasia, &c., +occupied the venerable Countess a great deal, so that +she had but little time to devote to her granddaughter, +the little Matilda, and her grandson, Master Pitt Crawley. +The latter was a feeble child, and it was only by +prodigious quantities of calomel that Lady Southdown was +able to keep him in life at all. + +As for Sir Pitt he retired into those very apartments +where Lady Crawley had been previously extinguished, +and here was tended by Miss Hester, the girl upon her +promotion, with constant care and assiduity. What love, +what fidelity, what constancy is there equal to that of a +nurse with good wages? They smooth pillows; and make +arrowroot; they get up at nights; they bear complaints +and querulousness; they see the sun shining out of doors +and don't want to go abroad; they sleep on arm-chairs +and eat their meals in solitude; they pass long long +evenings doing nothing, watching the embers, and the +patient's drink simmering in the jug; they read the weekly +paper the whole week through; and Law's Serious Call or +the Whole Duty of Man suffices them for literature for +the year--and we quarrel with them because, when their +relations come to see them once a week, a little gin +is smuggled in in their linen basket. Ladies, what man's +love is there that would stand a year's nursing of the +object of his affection? Whereas a nurse will stand by you +for ten pounds a quarter, and we think her too highly +paid. At least Mr. Crawley grumbled a good deal about +paying half as much to Miss Hester for her constant +attendance upon the Baronet his father. + +Of sunshiny days this old gentleman was taken out in a +chair on the terrace--the very chair which Miss Crawley +had had at Brighton, and which had been transported +thence with a number of Lady Southdown's effects to +Queen's Crawley. Lady Jane always walked by the old +man, and was an evident favourite with him. He used to +nod many times to her and smile when she came in, and +utter inarticulate deprecatory moans when she was going +away. When the door shut upon her he would cry and +sob--whereupon Hester's face and manner, which was +always exceedingly bland and gentle while her lady was +present, would change at once, and she would make faces +at him and clench her fist and scream out "Hold your +tongue, you stoopid old fool," and twirl away his chair +from the fire which he loved to look at--at which he +would cry more. For this was all that was left after more +than seventy years of cunning, and struggling, and +drinking, and scheming, and sin and selfishness--a +whimpering old idiot put in and out of bed and cleaned +and fed like a baby. + +At last a day came when the nurse's occupation was +over. Early one morning, as Pitt Crawley was at his +steward's and bailiff's books in the study, a knock came +to the door, and Hester presented herself, dropping a +curtsey, and said, + +"If you please, Sir Pitt, Sir Pitt died this morning, Sir +Pitt. I was a-making of his toast, Sir Pitt, for his gruel, +Sir Pitt, which he took every morning regular at six, Sir +Pitt, and--I thought I heard a moan-like, Sir Pitt--and-- +and--and--" She dropped another curtsey. + +What was it that made Pitt's pale face flush quite +red? Was it because he was Sir Pitt at last, with a seat +in Parliament, and perhaps future honours in prospect? +"I'll clear the estate now with the ready money," he +thought and rapidly calculated its incumbrances and the +improvements which he would make. He would not use his +aunt's money previously lest Sir Pitt should recover and +his outlay be in vain. + +All the blinds were pulled down at the Hall and Rectory: +the church bell was tolled, and the chancel hung in +black; and Bute Crawley didn't go to a coursing meeting, +but went and dined quietly at Fuddleston, where +they talked about his deceased brother and young Sir +Pitt over their port. Miss Betsy, who was by this time +married to a saddler at Mudbury, cried a good deal. +The family surgeon rode over and paid his respectful +compliments, and inquiries for the health of their +ladyships. The death was talked about at Mudbury and at +the Crawley Arms, the landlord whereof had become +reconciled with the Rector of late, who was occasionally +known to step into the parlour and taste Mr. Horrocks' +mild beer. + +"Shall I write to your brother--or will you?" asked +Lady Jane of her husband, Sir Pitt. + +"I will write, of course," Sir Pitt said, "and invite him +to the funeral: it will be but becoming." + +"And--and--Mrs. Rawdon," said Lady Jane timidly. + +"Jane!" said Lady Southdown, "how can you think of +such a thing?" + +"Mrs. Rawdon must of course be asked," said Sir Pitt, +resolutely. + +"Not whilst I am in the house!" said Lady Southdown. + +"Your Ladyship will be pleased to recollect that I am +the head of this family," Sir Pitt replied. "If you please, +Lady Jane, you will write a letter to Mrs. Rawdon +Crawley, requesting her presence upon this melancholy +occasion." + +"Jane, I forbid you to put pen to paper!" cried the +Countess. + +"I believe I am the head of this family," Sir Pitt +repeated; "and however much I may regret any +circumstance which may lead to your Ladyship quitting this +house, must, if you please, continue to govern it as I see +fit." + +Lady Southdown rose up as magnificent as Mrs. Siddons +in Lady Macbeth and ordered that horses might be put +to her carriage. If her son and daughter turned her out +of their house, she would hide her sorrows somewhere in +loneliness and pray for their conversion to better +thoughts. + +"We don't turn you out of our house, Mamma," said +the timid Lady Jane imploringly. + +"You invite such company to it as no Christian lady +should meet, and I will have my horses to-morrow +morning." + +"Have the goodness to write, Jane, under my dictation," +said Sir Pitt, rising and throwing himself into an attitude +of command, like the portrait of a Gentleman in the +Exhibition, "and begin. 'Queen's Crawley, September 14, +1822.--My dear brother--' " + +Hearing these decisive and terrible words, Lady Macbeth, +who had been waiting for a sign of weakness or +vacillation on the part of her son-in-law, rose and, with a +scared look, left the library. Lady Jane looked up to +her husband as if she would fain follow and soothe her +mamma, but Pitt forbade his wife to move. + +"She won't go away," he said. "She has let her house +at Brighton and has spent her last half-year's dividends. +A Countess living at an inn is a ruined woman. I have +been waiting long for an opportunity--to take this--this +decisive step, my love; for, as you must perceive, it is +impossible that there should be two chiefs in a family: +and now, if you please, we will resume the dictation. 'My +dear brother, the melancholy intelligence which it is my +duty to convey to my family must have been long +anticipated by,' " &c. + +In a word, Pitt having come to his kingdom, and having +by good luck, or desert rather, as he considered, assumed +almost all the fortune which his other relatives +had expected, was determined to treat his family kindly +and respectably and make a house of Queen's Crawley +once more. It pleased him to think that he should be its +chief. He proposed to use the vast influence that his +commanding talents and position must speedily acquire +for him in the county to get his brother placed and his +cousins decently provided for, and perhaps had a little +sting of repentance as he thought that he was the +proprietor of all that they had hoped for. In the course of +three or four days' reign his bearing was changed and +his plans quite fixed: he determined to rule justly and +honestly, to depose Lady Southdown, and to be on the +friendliest possible terms with all the relations of his +blood. + +So he dictated a letter to his brother Rawdon--a solemn +and elaborate letter, containing the profoundest +observations, couched in the longest words, and filling with +wonder the simple little secretary, who wrote under her +husband's order. "What an orator this will be," thought +she, "when he enters the House of Commons" (on which +point, and on the tyranny of Lady Southdown, Pitt had +sometimes dropped hints to his wife in bed); "how wise +and good, and what a genius my husband is! I fancied +him a little cold; but how good, and what a genius!" + +The fact is, Pitt Crawley had got every word of the +letter by heart and had studied it, with diplomatic +secrecy, deeply and perfectly, long before he thought fit to +communicate it to his astonished wife. + +This letter, with a huge black border and seal, was +accordingly despatched by Sir Pitt Crawley to his brother +the Colonel, in London. Rawdon Crawley was but +half-pleased at the receipt of it. "What's the use of going +down to that stupid place?" thought he. "I can't stand +being alone with Pitt after dinner, and horses there +and back will cost us twenty pound." + +He carried the letter, as he did all difficulties, to Becky, +upstairs in her bedroom--with her chocolate, which he +always made and took to her of a morning. + +He put the tray with the breakfast and the letter on +the dressing-table, before which Becky sat combing her +yellow hair. She took up the black-edged missive, and +having read it, she jumped up from the chair, crying +"Hurray!" and waving the note round her head. + +"Hurray?" said Rawdon, wondering at the little figure +capering about in a streaming flannel dressing-gown, with +tawny locks dishevelled. "He's not left us anything, +Becky. I had my share when I came of age." + +"You'll never be of age, you silly old man," Becky +replied. "Run out now to Madam Brunoy's, for I must +have some mourning: and get a crape on your hat, and a +black waistcoat--I don't think you've got one; order it +to be brought home to-morrow, so that we may be able +to start on Thursday." + +"You don't mean to go?" Rawdon interposed. + +"Of course I mean to go. I mean that Lady Jane shall +present me at Court next year. I mean that your brother +shall give you a seat in Parliament, you stupid old +creature. I mean that Lord Steyne shall have your vote and +his, my dear, old silly man; and that you shall be an Irish +Secretary, or a West Indian Governor: or a Treasurer, +or a Consul, or some such thing." + +"Posting will cost a dooce of a lot of money," grumbled +Rawdon. + +"We might take Southdown's carriage, which ought to +be present at the funeral, as he is a relation of the +family: but, no--I intend that we shall go by the coach. +They'll like it better. It seems more humble--" + +"Rawdy goes, of course?" the Colonel asked. + +"No such thing; why pay an extra place? He's too big to +travel bodkin between you and me. Let him stay here in +the nursery, and Briggs can make him a black frock. Go +you, and do as I bid you. And you had best tell Sparks, +your man, that old Sir Pitt is dead and that you will +come in for something considerable when the affairs are +arranged. He'll tell this to Raggles, who has been pressing +for money, and it will console poor Raggles." And so +Becky began sipping her chocolate. + +When the faithful Lord Steyne arrived in the evening, +he found Becky and her companion, who was no other +than our friend Briggs, busy cutting, ripping, snipping, +and tearing all sorts of black stuffs available for the +melancholy occasion. + +"Miss Briggs and I are plunged in grief and despondency +for the death of our Papa," Rebecca said. "Sir Pitt +Crawley is dead, my lord. We have been tearing our hair +all the morning, and now we are tearing up our old +clothes." + +"Oh, Rebecca, how can you--" was all that Briggs could +say as she turned up her eyes. + +"Oh, Rebecca, how can you--" echoed my Lord. "So +that old scoundrel's dead, is he? He might have been a +Peer if he had played his cards better. Mr. Pitt had very +nearly made him; but he ratted always at the wrong +time. What an old Silenus it was!" + +"I might have been Silenus's widow," said Rebecca. +"Don't you remember, Miss Briggs, how you peeped in +at the door and saw old Sir Pitt on his knees to me?" +Miss Briggs, our old friend, blushed very much at this +reminiscence, and was glad when Lord Steyne ordered +her to go downstairs and make him a cup of tea. + +Briggs was the house-dog whom Rebecca had provided +as guardian of her innocence and reputation. Miss Crawley +had left her a little annuity. She would have been +content to remain in the Crawley family with Lady Jane, +who was good to her and to everybody; but Lady +Southdown dismissed poor Briggs as quickly as decency +permitted; and Mr. Pitt (who thought himself much injured +by the uncalled-for generosity of his deceased relative +towards a lady who had only been Miss Crawley's +faithful retainer a score of years) made no objection to that +exercise of the dowager's authority. Bowls and Firkin +likewise received their legacies and their dismissals, and +married and set up a lodging-house, according to the +custom of their kind. + +Briggs tried to live with her relations in the country, +but found that attempt was vain after the better society +to which she had been accustomed. Briggs's friends, small +tradesmen, in a country town, quarrelled over Miss +Briggs's forty pounds a year as eagerly and more openly +than Miss Crawley's kinsfolk had for that lady's +inheritance. Briggs's brother, a radical hatter and grocer, called +his sister a purse-proud aristocrat, because she would not +advance a part of her capital to stock his shop; and she +would have done so most likely, but that their sister, a +dissenting shoemaker's lady, at variance with the hatter +and grocer, who went to another chapel, showed how +their brother was on the verge of bankruptcy, and took +possession of Briggs for a while. The dissenting +shoemaker wanted Miss Briggs to send his son to college +and make a gentleman of him. Between them the two +families got a great portion of her private savings out of +her, and finally she fled to London followed by the +anathemas of both, and determined to seek for servitude +again as infinitely less onerous than liberty. And advertising +in the papers that a "Gentlewoman of agreeable +manners, and accustomed to the best society, was anxious +to," &c., she took up her residence with Mr. Bowls +in Half Moon Street, and waited the result of the +advertisement. + +So it was that she fell in with Rebecca. Mrs. Rawdon's +dashing little carriage and ponies was whirling down the +street one day, just as Miss Briggs, fatigued, had +reached Mr. Bowls's door, after a weary walk to the +Times Office in the City to insert her advertisement for +the sixth time. Rebecca was driving, and at once +recognized the gentlewoman with agreeable manners, and +being a perfectly good-humoured woman, as we have +seen, and having a regard for Briggs, she pulled up the +ponies at the doorsteps, gave the reins to the groom, +and jumping out, had hold of both Briggs's hands, before +she of the agreeable manners had recovered from the +shock of seeing an old friend. + +Briggs cried, and Becky laughed a great deal and +kissed the gentlewoman as soon as they got into the +passage; and thence into Mrs. Bowls's front parlour, with +the red moreen curtains, and the round looking-glass, +with the chained eagle above, gazing upon the back of +the ticket in the window which announced "Apartments +to Let." + +Briggs told all her history amidst those perfectly +uncalled-for sobs and ejaculations of wonder with which +women of her soft nature salute an old acquaintance, or +regard a rencontre in the street; for though people meet +other people every day, yet some there are who insist +upon discovering miracles; and women, even though they +have disliked each other, begin to cry when they meet, +deploring and remembering the time when they last +quarrelled. So, in a word, Briggs told all her history, and +Becky gave a narrative of her own life, with her usual +artlessness and candour. + +Mrs. Bowls, late Firkin, came and listened grimly in +the passage to the hysterical sniffling and giggling which +went on in the front parlour. Becky had never been a +favourite of hers. Since the establishment of the married +couple in London they had frequented their former +friends of the house of Raggles, and did not like the +latter's account of the Colonel's menage. "I wouldn't trust +him, Ragg, my boy," Bowls remarked; and his wife, +when Mrs. Rawdon issued from the parlour, only saluted +the lady with a very sour curtsey; and her fingers +were like so many sausages, cold and lifeless, when she +held them out in deference to Mrs. Rawdon, who persisted +in shaking hands with the retired lady's maid. She whirled +away into Piccadilly, nodding with the sweetest of smiles +towards Miss Briggs, who hung nodding at the window +close under the advertisement-card, and at the next +moment was in the park with a half-dozen of dandies +cantering after her carriage. + +When she found how her friend was situated, and how +having a snug legacy from Miss Crawley, salary was no +object to our gentlewoman, Becky instantly formed some +benevolent little domestic plans concerning her. This +was just such a companion as would suit her establishment, +and she invited Briggs to come to dinner with her +that very evening, when she should see Becky's dear little +darling Rawdon. + +Mrs. Bowls cautioned her lodger against venturing into +the lion's den, "wherein you will rue it, Miss B., mark my +words, and as sure as my name is Bowls." And Briggs +promised to be very cautious. The upshot of which +caution was that she went to live with Mrs. Rawdon the next +week, and had lent Rawdon Crawley six hundred pounds +upon annuity before six months were over. + + + + +CHAPTER XLI + + +In Which Becky Revisits the Halls of Her Ancestors + +So the mourning being ready, and Sir Pitt Crawley warned +of their arrival, Colonel Crawley and his wife took a +couple of places in the same old High-flyer coach by +which Rebecca had travelled in the defunct Baronet's +company, on her first journey into the world some nine +years before. How well she remembered the Inn Yard, +and the ostler to whom she refused money, and the +insinuating Cambridge lad who wrapped her in his coat on +the journey! Rawdon took his place outside, and would +have liked to drive, but his grief forbade him. He sat by +the coachman and talked about horses and the road the +whole way; and who kept the inns, and who horsed the +coach by which he had travelled so many a time, when +he and Pitt were boys going to Eton. At Mudbury a +carriage and a pair of horses received them, with a +coachman in black. "It's the old drag, Rawdon," Rebecca said +as they got in. "The worms have eaten the cloth a good +deal--there's the stain which Sir Pitt--ha! I see Dawson +the Ironmonger has his shutters up--which Sir Pitt made +such a noise about. It was a bottle of cherry brandy he +broke which we went to fetch for your aunt from +Southampton. How time flies, to be sure! That can't be Polly +Talboys, that bouncing girl standing by her mother at +the cottage there. I remember her a mangy little urchin +picking weeds in the garden." + +"Fine gal," said Rawdon, returning the salute which the +cottage gave him, by two fingers applied to his crape +hatband. Becky bowed and saluted, and recognized +people here and there graciously. These recognitions were +inexpressibly pleasant to her. It seemed as if she was +not an imposter any more, and was coming to the home +of her ancestors. Rawdon was rather abashed and cast +down, on the other hand. What recollections of boyhood +and innocence might have been flitting across his brain? +What pangs of dim remorse and doubt and shame? + +"Your sisters must be young women now," Rebecca +said, thinking of those girls for the first time perhaps +since she had left them. + +"Don't know, I'm shaw," replied the Colonel. "Hullo! +here's old Mother Lock. How-dy-do, Mrs. Lock? Remember +me, don't you? Master Rawdon, hey? Dammy how +those old women last; she was a hundred when I was a +boy." + +They were going through the lodge-gates kept by old +Mrs. Lock, whose hand Rebecca insisted upon shaking, +as she flung open the creaking old iron gate, and the +carriage passed between the two moss-grown pillars +surmounted by the dove and serpent. + +"The governor has cut into the timber," Rawdon said, +looking about, and then was silent--so was Becky. Both +of them were rather agitated, and thinking of old times. +He about Eton, and his mother, whom he remembered, +a frigid demure woman, and a sister who died, of whom +he had been passionately fond; and how he used to thrash +Pitt; and about little Rawdy at home. And Rebecca +thought about her own youth and the dark secrets of +those early tainted days; and of her entrance into life +by yonder gates; and of Miss Pinkerton, and Joe, and +Amelia. + +The gravel walk and terrace had been scraped quite +clean. A grand painted hatchment was already over the +great entrance, and two very solemn and tall personages +in black flung open each a leaf of the door as the +carriage pulled up at the familiar steps. Rawdon turned red, +and Becky somewhat pale, as they passed through the +old hall, arm in arm. She pinched her husband's arm +as they entered the oak parlour, where Sir Pitt and his +wife were ready to receive them. Sir Pitt in black, Lady +Jane in black, and my Lady Southdown with a large black +head-piece of bugles and feathers, which waved on her +Ladyship's head like an undertaker's tray. + +Sir Pitt had judged correctly, that she would not quit +the premises. She contented herself by preserving a +solemn and stony silence, when in company of Pitt and +his rebellious wife, and by frightening the children in +the nursery by the ghastly gloom of her demeanour. +Only a very faint bending of the head-dress and plumes +welcomed Rawdon and his wife, as those prodigals +returned to their family. + +To say the truth, they were not affected very much +one way or other by this coolness. Her Ladyship was a +person only of secondary consideration in their minds +just then--they were intent upon the reception which +the reigning brother and sister would afford them. + +Pitt, with rather a heightened colour, went up and +shook his brother by the hand, and saluted Rebecca with +a hand-shake and a very low bow. But Lady Jane took both +the hands of her sister-in-law and kissed her affectionately. +The embrace somehow brought tears into the eyes of +the little adventuress--which ornaments, as we know, +she wore very seldom. The artless mark of kindness and +confidence touched and pleased her; and Rawdon, +encouraged by this demonstration on his sister's part, +twirled up his mustachios and took leave to salute Lady +Jane with a kiss, which caused her Ladyship to blush +exceedingly. + +"Dev'lish nice little woman, Lady Jane," was his verdict, +when he and his wife were together again. "Pitt's got fat, +too, and is doing the thing handsomely." "He can afford +it," said Rebecca and agreed in her husband's farther +opinion "that the mother-in-law was a tremendous old +Guy--and that the sisters were rather well-looking +young women." + +They, too, had been summoned from school to attend +the funeral ceremonies. It seemed Sir Pitt Crawley, for +the dignity of the house and family, had thought right to +have about the place as many persons in black as could +possibly be assembled. All the men and maids of the +house, the old women of the Alms House, whom the elder +Sir Pitt had cheated out of a great portion of their +due, the parish clerk's family, and the special retainers +of both Hall and Rectory were habited in sable; added to +these, the undertaker's men, at least a score, with crapes +and hatbands, and who made goodly show when the +great burying show took place--but these are mute +personages in our drama; and having nothing to do or say, +need occupy a very little space here. + +With regard to her sisters-in-law Rebecca did not +attempt to forget her former position of Governess +towards them, but recalled it frankly and kindly, and asked +them about their studies with great gravity, and told them +that she had thought of them many and many a day, +and longed to know of their welfare. In fact you would +have supposed that ever since she had left them she had +not ceased to keep them uppermost in her thoughts and to +take the tenderest interest in their welfare. So supposed +Lady Crawley herself and her young sisters. + +"She's hardly changed since eight years," said Miss +Rosalind to Miss Violet, as they were preparing for dinner. + +"Those red-haired women look wonderfully well," +replied the other. + +"Hers is much darker than it was; I think she must dye +it," Miss Rosalind added. "She is stouter, too, and +altogether improved," continued Miss Rosalind, who was +disposed to be very fat. + +"At least she gives herself no airs and remembers that +she was our Governess once," Miss Violet said, intimating +that it befitted all governesses to keep their proper place, +and forgetting altogether that she was granddaughter not +only of Sir Walpole Crawley, but of Mr. Dawson of +Mudbury, and so had a coal-scuttle in her scutcheon. There +are other very well-meaning people whom one meets +every day in Vanity Fair who are surely equally oblivious. + +"It can't be true what the girls at the Rectory said, that +her mother was an opera-dancer--" + +"A person can't help their birth," Rosalind replied with +great liberality. "And I agree with our brother, that as she +is in the family, of course we are bound to notice her. +I am sure Aunt Bute need not talk; she wants to marry +Kate to young Hooper, the wine-merchant, and absolutely +asked him to come to the Rectory for orders." + +"I wonder whether Lady Southdown will go away, she +looked very glum upon Mrs. Rawdon," the other said. + +"I wish she would. I won't read the Washerwoman +of Finchley Common," vowed Violet; and so saying, and +avoiding a passage at the end of which a certain coffin was +placed with a couple of watchers, and lights perpetually +burning in the closed room, these young women came +down to the family dinner, for which the bell rang as +usual. + +But before this, Lady Jane conducted Rebecca to the +apartments prepared for her, which, with the rest of the +house, had assumed a very much improved appearance +of order and comfort during Pitt's regency, and here +beholding that Mrs. Rawdon's modest little trunks had +arrived, and were placed in the bedroom and +dressing-room adjoining, helped her to take off her neat +black bonnet and cloak, and asked her sister-in-law in +what more she could be useful. + +"What I should like best," said Rebecca, "would be to +go to the nursery and see your dear little children." On +which the two ladies looked very kindly at each other +and went to that apartment hand in hand. + +Becky admired little Matilda, who was not quite four +years old, as the most charming little love in the world; +and the boy, a little fellow of two years--pale, heavy-eyed, +and large-headed--she pronounced to be a perfect +prodigy in point of size, intelligence, and beauty. + +"I wish Mamma would not insist on giving him so much +medicine," Lady Jane said with a sigh. "I often think we +should all be better without it." And then Lady Jane and +her new-found friend had one of those confidential medical conversations about the children, which all mothers, +and most women, as I am given to understand, delight in. +Fifty years ago, and when the present writer, being an +interesting little boy, was ordered out of the room with +the ladies after dinner, I remember quite well that their +talk was chiefly about their ailments; and putting this +question directly to two or three since, I have always got +from them the acknowledgement that times are not +changed. Let my fair readers remark for themselves this +very evening when they quit the dessert-table and +assemble to celebrate the drawing-room mysteries. Well +--in half an hour Becky and Lady Jane were close and +intimate friends--and in the course of the evening her +Ladyship informed Sir Pitt that she thought her new +sister-in-law was a kind, frank, unaffected, and affectionate +young woman. + +And so having easily won the daughter's good-will, the +indefatigable little woman bent herself to conciliate the +august Lady Southdown. As soon as she found her Ladyship +alone, Rebecca attacked her on the nursery question +at once and said that her own little boy was saved, +actually saved, by calomel, freely administered, when all the +physicians in Paris had given the dear child up. And then +she mentioned how often she had heard of Lady Southdown +from that excellent man the Reverend Lawrence +Grills, Minister of the chapel in May Fair, which she +frequented; and how her views were very much changed +by circumstances and misfortunes; and how she hoped that +a past life spent in worldliness and error might not +incapacitate her from more serious thought for the future. +She described how in former days she had been indebted +to Mr. Crawley for religious instruction, touched upon +the Washerwoman of Finchley Common, which she had +read with the greatest profit, and asked about Lady +Emily, its gifted author, now Lady Emily Hornblower, at +Cape Town, where her husband had strong hopes of +becoming Bishop of Caffraria. + +But she crowned all, and confirmed herself in Lady +Southdown's favour, by feeling very much agitated and +unwell after the funeral and requesting her Ladyship's +medical advice, which the Dowager not only gave, but, +wrapped up in a bed-gown and looking more like Lady +Macbeth than ever, came privately in the night to Becky's +room with a parcel of favourite tracts, and a medicine +of her own composition, which she insisted that Mrs. +Rawdon should take. + +Becky first accepted the tracts and began to examine +them with great interest, engaging the Dowager in a +conversation concerning them and the welfare of her soul, +by which means she hoped that her body might escape +medication. But after the religious topics were exhausted, +Lady Macbeth would not quit Becky's chamber until her +cup of night-drink was emptied too; and poor Mrs. Rawdon +was compelled actually to assume a look of gratitude, and +to swallow the medicine under the unyielding old Dowager's +nose, who left her victim finally with a benediction. + +It did not much comfort Mrs. Rawdon; her countenance +was very queer when Rawdon came in and heard what +had happened; and. his explosions of laughter were as +loud as usual, when Becky, with a fun which she could +not disguise, even though it was at her own expense, +described the occurrence and how she had been victimized +by Lady Southdown. Lord Steyne, and her son in +London, had many a laugh over the story when Rawdon +and his wife returned to their quarters in May Fair. Becky +acted the whole scene for them. She put on a night-cap +and gown. She preached a great sermon in the true serious +manner; she lectured on the virtue of the medicine +which she pretended to administer, with a gravity of +imitation so perfect that you would have thought it was +the Countess's own Roman nose through which she snuffled. +"Give us Lady Southdown and the black dose," was +a constant cry amongst the folks in Becky's little +drawing-room in May Fair. And for the first time in her +life the Dowager Countess of Southdown was made amusing. + +Sir Pitt remembered the testimonies of respect and +veneration which Rebecca had paid personally to himself +in early days, and was tolerably well disposed towards +her. The marriage, ill-advised as it was, had improved +Rawdon very much--that was clear from the Colonel's +altered habits and demeanour--and had it not been a +lucky union as regarded Pitt himself? The cunning +diplomatist smiled inwardly as he owned that he owed his +fortune to it, and acknowledged that he at least ought not +to cry out against it. His satisfaction was not removed +by Rebecca's own statements, behaviour, and +conversation. + +She doubled the deference which before had charmed +him, calling out his conversational powers in such a +manner as quite to surprise Pitt himself, who, always +inclined to respect his own talents, admired them the more +when Rebecca pointed them out to him. With her +sister-in-law, Rebecca was satisfactorily able to prove that it +was Mrs. Bute Crawley who brought about the marriage +which she afterwards so calumniated; that it was Mrs. +Bute's avarice--who hoped to gain all Miss Crawley's +fortune and deprive Rawdon of his aunt's favour--which +caused and invented all the wicked reports against +Rebecca. "She succeeded in making us poor," Rebecca +said with an air of angelical patience; "but how can I +be angry with a woman who has given me one of the best +husbands in the world? And has not her own avarice +been sufficiently punished by the ruin of her own hopes and +the loss of the property by which she set so much +store? Poor!" she cried. "Dear Lady Jane, what care we +for poverty? I am used to it from childhood, and I am +often thankful that Miss Crawley's money has gone to +restore the splendour of the noble old family of which +I am so proud to be a member. I am sure Sir Pitt will +make a much better use of it than Rawdon would." + +All these speeches were reported to Sir Pitt by the +most faithful of wives, and increased the favourable +impression which Rebecca made; so much so that when, +on the third day after the funeral, the family party were +at dinner, Sir Pitt Crawley, carving fowls at the head of +the table, actually said to Mrs. Rawdon, "Ahem! Rebecca, +may I give you a wing?"--a speech which made the little +woman's eyes sparkle with pleasure. + +While Rebecca was prosecuting the above schemes and +hopes, and Pitt Crawley arranging the funeral ceremonial +and other matters connected with his future progress and +dignity, and Lady Jane busy with her nursery, as far as +her mother would let her, and the sun rising and setting, +and the clock-tower bell of the Hall ringing to dinner and +to prayers as usual, the body of the late owner of Queen's +Crawley lay in the apartment which he had occupied, +watched unceasingly by the professional attendants who +were engaged for that rite. A woman or two, and three +or four undertaker's men, the best whom Southampton +could furnish, dressed in black, and of a proper stealthy +and tragical demeanour, had charge of the remains which +they watched turn about, having the housekeeper's room +for their place of rendezvous when off duty, where they +played at cards in privacy and drank their beer. + +The members of the family and servants of the house +kept away from the gloomy spot, where the bones of the +descendant of an ancient line of knights and gentlemen +lay, awaiting their final consignment to the family crypt. +No regrets attended them, save those of the poor woman +who had hoped to be Sir Pitt's wife and widow and who +had fled in disgrace from the Hall over which she had so +nearly been a ruler. Beyond her and a favourite old pointer +he had, and between whom and himself an attachment +subsisted during the period of his imbecility, the old man +had not a single friend to mourn him, having indeed, +during the whole course of his life, never taken the least +pains to secure one. Could the best and kindest of us who +depart from the earth have an opportunity of revisiting +it, I suppose he or she (assuming that any Vanity Fair +feelings subsist in the sphere whither we are bound) +would have a pang of mortification at finding how soon +our survivors were consoled. And so Sir Pitt was +forgotten--like the kindest and best of us--only a few +weeks sooner. + +Those who will may follow his remains to the grave, +whither they were borne on the appointed day, in the most +becoming manner, the family in black coaches, with their +handkerchiefs up to their noses, ready for the tears which +did not come; the undertaker and his gentlemen in deep +tribulation; the select tenantry mourning out of +compliment to the new landlord; the neighbouring gentry's +carriages at three miles an hour, empty, and in profound +affliction; the parson speaking out the formula about "our +dear brother departed." As long as we have a man's body, +we play our Vanities upon it, surrounding it with +humbug and ceremonies, laying it in state, and packing it +up in gilt nails and velvet; and we finish our duty by +placing over it a stone, written all over with lies. Bute's +curate, a smart young fellow from Oxford, and Sir Pitt +Crawley composed between them an appropriate Latin +epitaph for the late lamented Baronet, and the former +preached a classical sermon, exhorting the survivors not +to give way to grief and informing them in the most +respectful terms that they also would be one day called +upon to pass that gloomy and mysterious portal which had +just closed upon the remains of their lamented brother. +Then the tenantry mounted on horseback again, or stayed +and refreshed themselves at the Crawley Arms. Then, +after a lunch in the servants' hall at Queen's Crawley, +the gentry's carriages wheeled off to their different +destinations: then the undertaker's men, taking the ropes, +palls, velvets, ostrich feathers, and other mortuary +properties, clambered up on the roof of the hearse and rode +off to Southampton. Their faces relapsed into a natural +expression as the horses, clearing the lodge-gates, got into +a brisker trot on the open road; and squads of them +might have been seen, speckling with black the +public-house entrances, with pewter-pots flashing in the +sunshine. Sir Pitt's invalid chair was wheeled away into a +tool-house in the garden; the old pointer used to howl +sometimes at first, but these were the only accents of +grief which were heard in the Hall of which Sir Pitt +Crawley, Baronet, had been master for some threescore years. + +As the birds were pretty plentiful, and partridge shooting +is as it were the duty of an English gentleman of +statesmanlike propensities, Sir Pitt Crawley, the first shock of +grief over, went out a little and partook of that diversion +in a white hat with crape round it. The sight of those fields +of stubble and turnips, now his own, gave him many secret +joys. Sometimes, and with an exquisite humility, he +took no gun, but went out with a peaceful bamboo cane; +Rawdon, his big brother, and the keepers blazing away at +his side. Pitt's money and acres had a great effect upon +his brother. The penniless Colonel became quite obsequious +and respectful to the head of his house, and despised +the milksop Pitt no longer. Rawdon listened with sympathy +to his senior's prospects of planting and draining, gave +his advice about the stables and cattle, rode +over to Mudbury to look at a mare, which he thought +would carry Lady Jane, and offered to break her, +&c.: the rebellious dragoon was quite humbled and +subdued, and became a most creditable younger brother. He +had constant bulletins from Miss Briggs in London +respecting little Rawdon, who was left behind there, who +sent messages of his own. "I am very well," he wrote. "I +hope you are very well. I hope Mamma is very well. The +pony is very well. Grey takes me to ride in the park. +I can canter. I met the little boy who rode before. He +cried when he cantered. I do not cry." Rawdon read these +letters to his brother and Lady Jane, who was delighted +with them. The Baronet promised to take charge of the lad +at school, and his kind-hearted wife gave Rebecca a +bank-note, begging her to buy a present with it for her little +nephew. + +One day followed another, and the ladies of the house +passed their life in those calm pursuits and amusements +which satisfy country ladies. Bells rang to meals and +to prayers. The young ladies took exercise on the +pianoforte every morning after breakfast, Rebecca giving +them the benefit of her instruction. Then they put on thick +shoes and walked in the park or shrubberies, or beyond +the palings into the village, descending upon the cottages, +with Lady Southdown's medicine and tracts for the +sick people there. Lady Southdown drove out in a +pony-chaise, when Rebecca would take her place by the +Dowager's side and listen to her solemn talk with the utmost +interest. She sang Handel and Haydn to the family of +evenings, and engaged in a large piece of worsted work, as if +she had been born to the business and as if this kind +of life was to continue with her until she should sink to +the grave in a polite old age, leaving regrets and a great +quantity of consols behind her--as if there were not cares +and duns, schemes, shifts, and poverty waiting outside +the park gates, to pounce upon her when she issued into +the world again. + +"It isn't difficult to be a country gentleman's wife," +Rebecca thought. "I think I could be a good woman if +I had five thousand a year. I could dawdle about in the +nursery and count the apricots on the wall. I could water +plants in a green-house and pick off dead leaves from the +geraniums. I could ask old women about their rheumatisms +and order half-a-crown's worth of soup for +the poor. I shouldn't miss it much, out of five thousand +a year. I could even drive out ten miles to dine at a +neighbour's, and dress in the fashions of the year before last. +I could go to church and keep awake in the great family +pew, or go to sleep behind the curtains, with my veil +down, if I only had practice. I could pay everybody, if +I had but the money. This is what the conjurors here +pride themselves upon doing. They look down with pity +upon us miserable sinners who have none. They think +themselves generous if they give our children a five-pound +note, and us contemptible if we are without one." And +who knows but Rebecca was right in her speculations +--and that it was only a question of money and fortune +which made the difference between her and an honest +woman? If you take temptations into account, who is to +say that he is better than his neighbour? A comfortable +career of prosperity, if it does not make people honest, at +least keeps them so. An alderman coming from a turtle +feast will not step out of his carnage to steal a leg of +mutton; but put him to starve, and see if he will not +purloin a loaf. Becky consoled herself by so balancing the +chances and equalizing the distribution of good and evil +in the world. + +The old haunts, the old fields and woods, the copses, +ponds, and gardens, the rooms of the old house where +she had spent a couple of years seven years ago, were all +carefully revisited by her. She had been young there, or +comparatively so, for she forgot the time when she ever +WAS young--but she remembered her thoughts and +feelings seven years back and contrasted them with those +which she had at present, now that she had seen the +world, and lived with great people, and raised herself far +beyond her original humble station. + +"I have passed beyond it, because I have brains," Becky +thought, "and almost all the rest of the world are fools. +I could not go back and consort with those people now, +whom I used to meet in my father's studio. Lords come up +to my door with stars and garters, instead of poor +artists with screws of tobacco in their pockets. I have a +gentleman for my husband, and an Earl's daughter for my +sister, in the very house where I was little better than a +servant a few years ago. But am I much better to do now +in the world than I was when I was the poor painter's +daughter and wheedled the grocer round the corner for +sugar and tea? Suppose I had married Francis who was +so fond of me--I couldn't have been much poorer than +I am now. Heigho! I wish I could exchange my position +in society, and all my relations for a snug sum in the +Three Per Cent. Consols"; for so it was that Becky felt +the Vanity of human affairs, and it was in those securities +that she would have liked to cast anchor. + +It may, perhaps, have struck her that to have been +honest and humble, to have done her duty, and to have +marched straightforward on her way, would have brought +her as near happiness as that path by which she was +striving to attain it. But--just as the children at Queen's +Crawley went round the room where the body of their +father lay--if ever Becky had these thoughts, she was +accustomed to walk round them and not look in. She +eluded them and despised them--or at least she was +committed to the other path from which retreat was now +impossible. And for my part I believe that remorse is the +least active of all a man's moral senses--the very easiest to +be deadened when wakened, and in some never wakened +at all. We grieve at being found out and at the idea of +shame or punishment, but the mere sense of wrong makes +very few people unhappy in Vanity Fair. + +So Rebecca, during her stay at Queen's Crawley, made as +many friends of the Mammon of Unrighteousness as she +could possibly bring under control. Lady Jane and her +husband bade her farewell with the warmest +demonstrations of good-will. They looked forward with +pleasure to the time when, the family house in Gaunt +Street being repaired and beautified, they were to meet +again in London. Lady Southdown made her up a packet of +medicine and sent a letter by her to the Rev. Lawrence +Grills, exhorting that gentleman to save the brand who +"honoured" the letter from the burning. Pitt accompanied +them with four horses in the carriage to Mudbury, having +sent on their baggage in a cart previously, accompanied +with loads of game. + +"How happy you will be to see your darling little boy +again!" Lady Crawley said, taking leave of her kinswoman. + +"Oh so happy!" said Rebecca, throwing up the green eyes. +She was immensely happy to be free of the place, and yet +loath to go. Queen's Crawley was abominably stupid, and +yet the air there was somehow purer than that which she +had been accustomed to breathe. Everybody had been dull, +but had been kind in their way. "It is all the influence of a +long course of Three Per Cents," Becky said to herself, and +was right very likely. + +However, the London lamps flashed joyfully as the stage +rolled into Piccadilly, and Briggs had made a beautiful fire +in Curzon Street, and little Rawdon was up to welcome +back his papa and mamma. + + + + +CHAPTER XLII + + +Which Treats of the Osborne Family + +Considerable time has elapsed since we have seen our +respectable friend, old Mr. Osborne of Russell Square. He +has not been the happiest of mortals since last we met him. +Events have occurred which have not improved his +temper, and in more in stances than one he has not been +allowed to have his own way. To be thwarted in this +reasonable desire was always very injurious to the old +gentleman; and resistance became doubly exasperating +when gout, age, loneliness, and the force of many +disappointments combined to weigh him down. His stiff +black hair began to grow quite white soon after his son's +death; his-face grew redder; his hands trembled more and +more as he poured out his glass of port wine. He led his +clerks a dire life in the City: his family at home were not +much happier. I doubt if Rebecca, whom we have seen +piously praying for Consols, would have exchanged her +poverty and the dare-devil excitement and chances of her +life for Osborne's money and the humdrum gloom which +enveloped him. He had proposed for Miss Swartz, but had +been rejected scornfully by the partisans of that lady, who +married her to a young sprig of Scotch nobility. He was a +man to have married a woman out of low life and bullied +her dreadfully afterwards; but no person presented herself +suitable to his taste, and, instead, he tyrannized over his +unmarried daughter, at home. She had a fine carriage and +fine horses and sat at the head of a table loaded with the +grandest plate. She had a cheque-book, a prize footman to +follow her when she walked, unlimited credit, and bows +and compliments from all the tradesmen, and all the +appurtenances of an heiress; but she spent a woeful time. +The little charity-girls at the Foundling, the sweeperess at +the crossing, the poorest under-kitchen-maid in the +servants' hall, was happy compared to that unfortunate +and now middle-aged young lady. + +Frederick Bullock, Esq., of the house of Bullock, Hulker, and +Bullock, had married Maria Osborne, not without a great +deal of difficulty and grumbling on Mr. Bullock's part. +George being dead and cut out of his father's will, +Frederick insisted that the half of the old gentleman's +property should be settled upon his Maria, and indeed, for +a long time, refused, "to come to the scratch" (it was Mr. +Frederick's own expression) on any other terms. Osborne +said Fred had agreed to take his daughter with twenty +thousand, and he should bind himself to no more. "Fred +might take it, and welcome, or leave it, and go and be +hanged." Fred, whose hopes had been raised when George +had been disinherited, thought himself infamously +swindled by the old merchant, and for some time made as +if he would break off the match altogether. Osborne +withdrew his account from Bullock and Hulker's, went on +'Change with a horsewhip which he swore he would lay +across the back of a certain scoundrel that should be +nameless, and demeaned himself in his usual violent +manner. Jane Osborne condoled with her sister Maria +during this family feud. "I always told you, Maria, that it +was your money he loved and not you," she said, +soothingly. + +"He selected me and my money at any rate; he didn't +choose you and yours," replied Maria, tossing up her head. + +The rapture was, however, only temporary. Fred's father +and senior partners counselled him to take Maria, even +with the twenty thousand settled, half down, and half at +the death of Mr. Osborne, with the chances of the further +division of the property. So he "knuckled down," again to +use his own phrase, and sent old Hulker with peaceable +overtures to Osborne. It was his father, he said, who would +not hear of the match, and had made the difficulties; he +was most anxious to keep the engagement. The excuse was +sulkily accepted by Mr. Osborne. Hulker and Bullock were +a high family of the City aristocracy, and connected with +the "nobs" at the West End. It was something for the old +man to be able to say, "My son, sir, of the house of Hulker, +Bullock, and Co., sir; my daughter's cousin, Lady Mary +Mango, sir, daughter of the Right Hon. The Earl of +Castlemouldy." In his imagination he saw his house +peopled by the "nobs." So he forgave young Bullock and +consented that the marriage should take place. + +It was a grand affair--the bridegroom's relatives giving the +breakfast, their habitations being near St. George's, +Hanover Square, where the business took place. The "nobs +of the West End" were invited, and many of them signed +the book. Mr. Mango and Lady Mary Mango were there, +with the dear young Gwendoline and Guinever Mango as +bridesmaids; Colonel Bludyer of the Dragoon Guards (eldest +son of the house of Bludyer Brothers, Mincing Lane), +another cousin of the bridegroom, and the Honourable Mrs. +Bludyer; the Honourable George Boulter, Lord Levant's son, +and his lady, Miss Mango that was; Lord Viscount +Castletoddy; Honourable James McMull and Mrs. McMull +(formerly Miss Swartz); and a host of fashionables, who +have all married into Lombard Street and done a great +deal to ennoble Cornhill. + +The young couple had a house near Berkeley Square and a +small villa at Roehampton, among the banking colony +there. Fred was considered to have made rather a +mesalliance by the ladies of his family, whose grandfather +had been in a Charity School, and who were allied through +the husbands with some of the best blood in England. And +Maria was bound, by superior pride and great care in the +composition of her visiting-book, to make up for the +defects of birth, and felt it her duty to see her father and +sister as little as possible. + +That she should utterly break with the old man, who had +still so many scores of thousand pounds to give away, is +absurd to suppose. Fred Bullock would never allow her to +do that. But she was still young and incapable of hiding her +feelings; and by inviting her papa and sister to her third- +rate parties, and behaving very coldly to them when they +came, and by avoiding Russell Square, and indiscreetly +begging her father to quit that odious vulgar place, she did +more harm than all Frederick's diplomacy could repair, and +perilled her chance of her inheritance like a giddy heedless +creature as she was. + +So Russell Square is not good enough for Mrs. Maria, hay?" +said the old gentleman, rattling up the carriage windows as +he and his daughter drove away one night from Mrs. +Frederick Bullock's, after dinner. "So she invites her father +and sister to a second day's dinner (if those sides, or +ontrys, as she calls 'em, weren't served yesterday, I'm +d--d), and to meet City folks and littery men, and keeps +the Earls and the Ladies, and the Honourables to herself. +Honourables? Damn Honourables. I am a plain British +merchant I am, and could buy the beggarly hounds over +and over. Lords, indeed!--why, at one of her swarreys I +saw one of 'em speak to a dam fiddler--a fellar I despise. +And they won't come to Russell Square, won't they? Why, +I'll lay my life I've got a better glass of wine, and pay a +better figure for it, and can show a handsomer service of +silver, and can lay a better dinner on my mahogany, than +ever they see on theirs--the cringing, sneaking, stuck-up +fools. Drive on quick, James: I want to get back to Russell +Square--ha, ha!" and he sank back into the corner with a +furious laugh. With such reflections on his own superior +merit, it was the custom of the old gentleman not +unfrequently to console himself. + +Jane Osborne could not but concur in these opinions +respecting her sister's conduct; and when Mrs. Frederick's +first-born, Frederick Augustus Howard Stanley Devereux +Bullock, was born, old Osborne, who was invited to the +christening and to be godfather, contented himself with +sending the child a gold cup, with twenty guineas inside it +for the nurse. "That's more than any of your Lords will +give, I'LL warrant," he said and refused to attend at the +ceremony. + +The splendour of the gift, however, caused great +satisfaction to the house of Bullock. Maria thought that her +father was very much pleased with her, and Frederick +augured the best for his little son and heir. + +One can fancy the pangs with which Miss Osborne in her +solitude in Russell Square read the Morning Post, where +her sister's name occurred every now and then, in the +articles headed "Fashionable Reunions," and where she had +an opportunity of reading a description of Mrs. F. Bullock's +costume, when presented at the drawing room by Lady +Frederica Bullock. Jane's own life, as we have said, +admitted of no such grandeur. It was an awful existence. +She had to get up of black winter's mornings to make +breakfast for her scowling old father, who would have +turned the whole house out of doors if his tea had not been +ready at half-past eight. She remained silent opposite to +him, listening to the urn hissing, and sitting in tremor +while the parent read his paper and consumed his +accustomed portion of muffins and tea. At half-past nine +he rose and went to the City, and she was almost free till +dinner-time, to make visitations in the kitchen and to scold +the servants; to drive abroad and descend upon the +tradesmen, who were prodigiously respectful; to leave her +cards and her papa's at the great glum respectable houses +of their City friends; or to sit alone in the large drawing- +room, expecting visitors; and working at a huge piece of +worsted by the fire, on the sofa, hard by the great +Iphigenia clock, which ticked and tolled with mournful +loudness in the dreary room. The great glass over the +mantelpiece, faced by the other great console glass at the +opposite end of the room, increased and multiplied +between them the brown Holland bag in which the +chandelier hung, until you saw these brown Holland bags +fading away in endless perspectives, and this apartment of +Miss Osborne's seemed the centre of a system of +drawing-rooms. When she removed the cordovan leather +from the grand piano and ventured to play a few notes on +it, it sounded with a mournful sadness, startling the dismal +echoes of the house. George's picture was gone, and laid +upstairs in a lumber-room in the garret; and though there +was a consciousness of him, and father and daughter often +instinctively knew that they were thinking of him, no +mention was ever made of the brave and once darling son. + +At five o'clock Mr. Osborne came back to his dinner, which +he and his daughter took in silence (seldom broken, except +when he swore and was savage, if the cooking was not to +his liking), or which they shared twice in a month with a +party of dismal friends of Osborne's rank and age. Old Dr. +Gulp and his lady from Bloomsbury Square; old Mr. +Frowser, the attorney, from Bedford Row, a very great +man, and from his business, hand-in-glove with the "nobs +at the West End"; old Colonel Livermore, of the Bombay +Army, and Mrs. Livermore, from Upper Bedford Place; old +Sergeant Toffy and Mrs. Toffy; and sometimes old Sir +Thomas Coffin and Lady Coffin, from Bedford Square. Sir +Thomas was celebrated as a hanging judge, and the +particular tawny port was produced when he dined with +Mr. Osborne. + +These people and their like gave the pompous Russell +Square merchant pompous dinners back again. They had +solemn rubbers of whist, when they went upstairs after +drinking, and their carriages were called at half past ten. +Many rich people, whom we poor devils are in the habit of +envying, lead contentedly an existence like that above +described. Jane Osborne scarcely ever met a man under +sixty, and almost the only bachelor who appeared in their +society was Mr. Smirk, the celebrated ladies' doctor. + +I can't say that nothing had occurred to disturb the +monotony of this awful existence: the fact is, there had +been a secret in poor Jane's life which had made her father +more savage and morose than even nature, pride, and +over-feeding had made him. This secret was connected +with Miss Wirt, who had a cousin an artist, Mr. Smee, very +celebrated since as a portrait-painter and R.A., but who +once was glad enough to give drawing lessons to ladies of +fashion. Mr. Smee has forgotten where Russell Square is +now, but he was glad enough to visit it in the year 1818, +when Miss Osborne had instruction from him. + +Smee (formerly a pupil of Sharpe of Frith Street, a +dissolute, irregular, and unsuccessful man, but a man with +great knowledge of his art) being the cousin of Miss Wirt, +we say, and introduced by her to Miss Osborne, whose +hand and heart were still free after various incomplete +love affairs, felt a great attachment for this lady, and it is +believed inspired one in her bosom. Miss Wirt was the +confidante of this intrigue. I know not whether she used to +leave the room where the master and his pupil were +painting, in order to give them an opportunity for +exchanging those vows and sentiments which cannot be +uttered advantageously in the presence of a third party; I +know not whether she hoped that should her cousin +succeed in carrying off the rich merchant's daughter, he +would give Miss Wirt a portion of the wealth which she +had enabled him to win--all that is certain is that Mr. +Osborne got some hint of the transaction, came back from +the City abruptly, and entered the drawing-room with his +bamboo cane; found the painter, the pupil, and the +companion all looking exceedingly pale there; turned the +former out of doors with menaces that he would break +every bone in his skin, and half an hour afterwards +dismissed Miss Wirt likewise, kicking her trunks down the +stairs, trampling on her bandboxes, and shaking his fist at +her hackney coach as it bore her away. + +Jane Osborne kept her bedroom for many days. She was +not allowed to have a companion afterwards. Her father +swore to her that she should not have a shilling of his +money if she made any match without his concurrence; +and as he wanted a woman to keep his house, he did not +choose that she should marry, so that she was obliged to +give up all projects with which Cupid had any share. +During her papa's life, then, she resigned herself to the +manner of existence here described, and was content to be +an old maid. Her sister, meanwhile, was having children +with finer names every year and the intercourse between +the two grew fainter continually. "Jane and I do not move +in the same sphere of life," Mrs. Bullock said. "I regard her +as a sister, of course"--which means--what does it mean +when a lady says that she regards Jane as a sister? + +It has been described how the Misses Dobbin lived with +their father at a fine villa at Denmark Hill, where there +were beautiful graperies and peach-trees which delighted +little Georgy Osborne. The Misses Dobbin, who drove often +to Brompton to see our dear Amelia, came sometimes to +Russell Square too, to pay a visit to their old acquaintance +Miss Osborne. I believe it was in consequence of the +commands of their brother the Major in India (for whom +their papa had a prodigious respect), that they paid +attention to Mrs. George; for the Major, the godfather and +guardian of Amelia's little boy, still hoped that the child's +grandfather might be induced to relent towards him and +acknowledge him for the sake of his son. The Misses +Dobbin kept Miss Osborne acquainted with the state of +Amelia's affairs; how she was living with her father and +mother; how poor they were; how they wondered what +men, and such men as their brother and dear Captain +Osborne, could find in such an insignificant little chit; how +she was still, as heretofore, a namby-pamby milk-and- +water affected creature--but how the boy was really the +noblest little boy ever seen--for the hearts of all women +warm towards young children, and the sourest spinster is +kind to them. + +One day, after great entreaties on the part of the Misses +Dobbin, Amelia allowed little George to go and pass a day +with them at Denmark Hill--a part of which day she spent +herself in writing to the Major in India. She congratulated +him on the happy news which his sisters had just +conveyed to her. She prayed for his prosperity and that of +the bride he had chosen. She thanked him for a thousand +thousand kind offices and proofs of stead fast friendship to +her in her affliction. She told him the last news about little +Georgy, and how he was gone to spend that very day with +his sisters in the country. She underlined the letter a great +deal, and she signed herself affectionately his friend, +Amelia Osborne. She forgot to send any message of +kindness to Lady O'Dowd, as her wont was--and did not +mention Glorvina by name, and only in italics, as the +Major's BRIDE, for whom she begged blessings. But the +news of the marriage removed the reserve which she had +kept up towards him. She was glad to be able to own and +feel how warmly and gratefully she regarded him--and as +for the idea of being jealous of Glorvina (Glorvina, indeed!), +Amelia would have scouted it, if an angel from heaven had +hinted it to her. That night, when Georgy came back in the +pony-carriage in which he rejoiced, and in which he was +driven by Sir Wm. Dobbin's old coachman, he had round +his neck a fine gold chain and watch. He said an old lady, +not pretty, had given it him, who cried and kissed him a +great deal. But he didn't like her. He liked grapes very +much. And he only liked his mamma. Amelia shrank and +started; the timid soul felt a presentiment of terror when +she heard that the relations of the child's father had seen +him. + +Miss Osborne came back to give her father his dinner. He +had made a good speculation in the City, and was rather in +a good humour that day, and chanced to remark the +agitation under which she laboured. "What's the matter, +Miss Osborne?" he deigned to say. + +The woman burst into tears. "Oh, sir," she said, "I've seen +little George. He is as beautiful as an angel--and so like +him!" The old man opposite to her did not say a word, but +flushed up and began to tremble in every limb. + + + + +CHAPIER XLIII + +In Which the Reader Has to Double the Cape + +The astonished reader must be called upon to transport +himself ten thousand miles to the military station of +Bundlegunge, in the Madras division of our Indian empire, +where our gallant old friends of the --th regiment are +quartered under the command of the brave Colonel, +Sir Michael O'Dowd. Time has dealt kindly with that +stout officer, as it does ordinarily with men who have +good stomachs and good tempers and are not perplexed +over much by fatigue of the brain. The Colonel plays a +good knife and fork at tiffin and resumes those weapons +with great success at dinner. He smokes his hookah after +both meals and puffs as quietly while his wife scolds +him as he did under the fire of the French at Waterloo. Age +and heat have not diminished the activity or the eloquence +of the descendant of the Malonys and the Molloys. Her +Ladyship, our old acquaintance, is as much at home at +Madras as at Brussels in the cantonment as under the +tents. On the march you saw her at the head of the +regiment seated on a royal elephant, a noble sight. +Mounted on that beast, she has been into action with tigers +in the jungle, she has been received by native princes, who +have welcomed her and Glorvina into the recesses of their +zenanas and offered her shawls and jewels which it went +to her heart to refuse. The sentries of all arms salute her +wherever she makes her appearance, and she touches her +hat gravely to their salutation. Lady O'Dowd is one of the +greatest ladies in the Presidency of Madras--her quarrel +with Lady Smith, wife of Sir Minos Smith the puisne judge, +is still remembered by some at Madras, when the Colonel's +lady snapped her fingers in the Judge's lady's face and said +SHE'D never walk behind ever a beggarly civilian. Even +now, though it is five-and-twenty years ago, people +remember Lady O'Dowd performing a jig at Government +House, where she danced down two Aides-de-Camp, a +Major of Madras cavalry, and two gentlemen of the Civil +Service; and, persuaded by Major Dobbin, C.B., second in +command of the --th, to retire to the supper-room, lassata +nondum satiata recessit. + +Peggy O'Dowd is indeed the same as ever, kind in act and +thought; impetuous in temper; eager to command; a tyrant +over her Michael; a dragon amongst all the ladies of the +regiment; a mother to all the young men, whom she tends +in their sickness, defends in all their scrapes, and with +whom Lady Peggy is immensely popular. But the +Subalterns' and Captains' ladies (the Major is unmarried) +cabal against her a good deal. They say that Glorvina gives +herself airs and that Peggy herself is ill tolerably +domineering. She interfered with a little congregation +which Mrs. Kirk had got up and laughed the young men +away from her sermons, stating that a soldier's wife had no +business to be a parson--that Mrs. Kirk would be much +better mending her husband's clothes; and, if the regiment +wanted sermons, that she had the finest in the world, those +of her uncle, the Dean. She abruptly put a termination to a +flirtation which Lieutenant Stubble of the regiment had +commenced with the Surgeon's wife, threatening to come +down upon Stubble for the money which he had borrowed +from her (for the young fellow was still of an extravagant +turn) unless he broke off at once and went to the Cape on +sick leave. On the other hand, she housed and sheltered +Mrs. Posky, who fled from her bungalow one night, +pursued by her infuriate husband, wielding his second +brandy bottle, and actually carried Posky through the +delirium tremens and broke him of the habit of drinking, +which had grown upon that officer, as all evil habits will +grow upon men. In a word, in adversity she was the best +of comforters, in good fortune the most troublesome of +friends, having a perfectly good opinion of herself always +and an indomitable resolution to have her own way. + +Among other points, she had made up her mind that +Glorvina should marry our old friend Dobbin. Mrs. O'Dowd +knew the Major's expectations and appreciated his good +qualities and the high character which he enjoyed in his +profession. Glorvina, a very handsome, fresh-coloured, +black-haired, blue-eyed young lady, who could ride a +horse, or play a sonata with any girl out of the County +Cork, seemed to be the very person destined to insure +Dobbin's happiness--much more than that poor good little +weak-spur'ted Amelia, about whom he used to take on so.-- +"Look at Glorvina enter a room," Mrs. O'Dowd would say, +"and compare her with that poor Mrs. Osborne, who +couldn't say boo to a goose. She'd be worthy of you, Major-- +you're a quiet man yourself, and want some one to talk for +ye. And though she does not come of such good blood as +the Malonys or Molloys, let me tell ye, she's of an ancient +family that any nobleman might be proud to marry into." + +But before she had come to such a resolution and determined to +subjugate Major Dobbin by her endearments, it must be owned +that Glorvina had practised them a good deal elsewhere. She had +had a season in Dublin, and who knows how many in Cork, +Killarney, and Mallow? She had flirted with all the marriageable +officers whom the depots of her country afforded, and all the +bachelor squires who seemed eligible. She had been +engaged to be married a half-score times in Ireland, +besides the clergyman at Bath who used her so ill. She had +flirted all the way to Madras with the Captain and chief +mate of the Ramchunder East Indiaman, and had a season +at the Presidency with her brother and Mrs. O'Dowd, who +was staying there, while the Major of the regiment was in +command at the station. Everybody admired her there; +everybody danced with her; but no one proposed who was +worth the marrying--one or two exceedingly young +subalterns sighed after her, and a beardless civilian or two, +but she rejected these as beneath her pretensions--and +other and younger virgins than Glorvina were married +before her. There are women, and handsome women too, +who have this fortune in life. They fall in love with the +utmost generosity; they ride and walk with half the +Army-list, though they draw near to forty, and yet the +Misses O'Grady are the Misses O'Grady still: Glorvina +persisted that but for Lady O'Dowd's unlucky quarrel with +the Judge's lady, she would have made a good match at +Madras, where old Mr. Chutney, who was at the head of +the civil service (and who afterwards married Miss Dolby, +a young lady only thirteen years of age who had just +arrived from school in Europe), was just at the point of +proposing to her. + +Well, although Lady O'Dowd and Glorvina quarrelled a +great number of times every day, and upon almost every +conceivable subject--indeed, if Mick O'Dowd had not +possessed the temper of an angel two such women +constantly about his ears would have driven him out of his +senses--yet they agreed between themselves on this point, +that Glorvina should marry Major Dobbin, and were +determined that the Major should have no rest until the +arrangement was brought about. Undismayed by forty or +fifty previous defeats, Glorvina laid siege to him. She sang +Irish melodies at him unceasingly. She asked him so +frequently and pathetically, Will ye come to the bower? +that it is a wonder how any man of feeling could have +resisted the invitation. She was never tired of inquiring, if +Sorrow had his young days faded, and was ready to listen +and weep like Desdemona at the stories of his dangers and +his campaigns. It has been +said that our honest and dear old friend used to perform +on the flute in private; Glorvina insisted upon having duets +with him, and Lady O'Dowd would rise and artlessly quit +the room when the young couple were so engaged. +Glorvina forced the Major to ride with her of mornings. The +whole cantonment saw them set out and return. She was +constantly writing notes over to him at his house, +borrowing his books, and scoring with her great +pencil-marks such passages of sentiment or humour as +awakened her sympathy. She borrowed his horses, his +servants, his spoons, and palanquin--no wonder that public +rumour assigned her to him, and that the Major's sisters in +England should fancy they were about to have a sister-in- +law. + +Dobbin, who was thus vigorously besieged, was in the +meanwhile in a state of the most odious tranquillity. He +used to laugh when the young fellows of the regiment +joked him about Glorvina's manifest attentions to him. +"Bah!" said he, "she is only keeping her hand in--she +practises upon me as she does upon Mrs. Tozer's piano, +because it's the most handy instrument in the station. I am +much too battered and old for such a fine young lady as +Glorvina." And so he went on riding with her, and copying +music and verses into her albums, and playing at chess +with her very submissively; for it is with these simple +amusements that some officers in India are accustomed to +while away their leisure moments, while others of a less +domestic turn hunt hogs, and shoot snipes, or gamble and +smoke cheroots, and betake themselves to brandy-and- +water. As for Sir Michael O'Dowd, though his lady and her +sister both urged him to call upon the Major to explain +himself and not keep on torturing a poor innocent girl in +that shameful way, the old soldier refused point-blank to +have anything to do with the conspiracy. "Faith, the Major's +big enough to choose for himself," Sir Michael said; "he'll +ask ye when he wants ye"; or else he would turn the +matter off jocularly, declaring that "Dobbin was too young +to keep house, and had written home to ask lave of his +mamma." Nay, he went farther, and in private +communications with his Major would caution and rally +him, crying, "Mind your oi, Dob, my boy, them girls is bent +on mischief--me Lady has just got a box of gowns from Europe, and there's a pink satin for Glorvina, which will finish ye, Dob, if it's in the power of woman or satin to move ye." + +But the truth is, neither beauty nor fashion could conquer +him. Our honest friend had but one idea of a woman in his +head, and that one did not in the least resemble Miss +Glorvina O'Dowd in pink satin. A gentle little woman in black, +with large eyes and brown hair, seldom speaking, save when +spoken to, and then in a voice not the least resembling +Miss Glorvina's--a soft young mother tending an infant +and beckoning the Major up with a smile to look at him--a +rosy-cheeked lass coming singing into the room in Russell +Square or hanging on George Osborne's arm, happy and +loving--there was but this image that filled our honest +Major's mind, by day and by night, and reigned over it +always. Very likely Amelia was not like the portrait the +Major had formed of her: there was a figure in a book of +fashions which his sisters had in England, and with which +William had made away privately, pasting it into the lid +of his desk, and fancying he saw some resemblance to +Mrs. Osborne in the print, whereas I have seen it, and +can vouch that it is but the picture of a high-waisted +gown with an impossible doll's face simpering over it-- +and, perhaps, Mr. Dobbin's sentimental Amelia was no +more like the real one than this absurd little print which +he cherished. But what man in love, of us, is better +informed?--or is he much happier when he sees and owns his +delusion? Dobbin was under this spell. He did not bother +his friends and the public much about his feelings, or +indeed lose his natural rest or appetite on account +of them. His head has grizzled since we saw him last, and +a line or two of silver may be seen in the soft brown hair +likewise. But his feelings are not in the least changed or +oldened, and his love remains as fresh as a man's +recollections of boyhood are. + +We have said how the two Misses Dobbin and Amelia, the +Major's correspondents in Europe, wrote him letters from +England, Mrs. Osborne congratulating him with great candour +and cordiality upon his approaching nuptials with Miss O'Dowd. +"Your sister has just kindly visited me," Amelia wrote +in her letter, "and informed me of an INTERESTING EVENT, +upon which I beg to offer my MOST SINCERE CONGRATULATIONS. +I hope the young lady to whom I hear you are to +be UNITED will in every respect prove worthy of one who +is himself all kindness and goodness. The poor widow has +only her prayers to offer and her cordial cordial wishes +for YOUR PROSPERITY! Georgy sends his love to HIS DEAR GODPAPA +and hopes that you will not forget him. I tell +him that you are about to form OTHER TIES, with one who +I am sure merits ALL YOUR AFFECTION, but that, although +such ties must of course be the strongest and most +sacred, and supersede ALL OTHERS, yet that I am sure the +widow and the child whom you have ever protected and +loved will always HAVE A CORNER IN YOUR HEART" The letter, +which has been before alluded to, went on in this +strain, protesting throughout as to the extreme satisfaction +of the writer. + +This letter, .which arrived by the very same ship which +brought out Lady O'Dowd's box of millinery from London +(and which you may be sure Dobbin opened before any +one of the other packets which the mail brought him), +put the receiver into such a state of mind that Glorvina, +and her pink satin, and everything belonging to her became +perfectly odious to him. The Major cursed the talk +of women, and the sex in general. Everything annoyed +him that day--the parade was insufferably hot and +wearisome. Good heavens! was a man of intellect to waste +his life, day after day, inspecting cross-belts and putting +fools through their manoeuvres? The senseless chatter +of the young men at mess was more than ever jarring. +What cared he, a man on the high road to forty, to +know how many snipes Lieutenant Smith had shot, or +what were the performances of Ensign Brown's mare? The +jokes about the table filled him with shame. He was too +old to listen to the banter of the assistant surgeon and +the slang of the youngsters, at which old O'Dowd, with +his bald head and red face, laughed quite easily. The +old man had listened to those jokes any time these +thirty years--Dobbin himself had been fifteen years hearing +them. And after the boisterous dulness of the mess-table, +the quarrels and scandal of the ladies of the regiment! +It was unbearable, shameful. "O Amelia, Amelia," +he thought, "you to whom I have been so faithful-- +you reproach me! It is because you cannot feel for me +that I drag on this wearisome life. And you reward me +after years of devotion by giving me your blessing upon +my marriage, forsooth, with this flaunting Irish girl!" +Sick and sorry felt poor William; more than ever +wretched and lonely. He would like to have done with +life and its vanity altogether--so bootless and unsatisfactory +the struggle, so cheerless and dreary the prospect +seemed to him. He lay all that night sleepless, and +yearning to go home. Amelia's letter had fallen as a +blank upon him. No fidelity, no constant truth and passion, +could move her into warmth. She would not see +that he loved her. Tossing in his bed, he spoke out to her. +"Good God, Amelia!" he said, "don't you know that I +only love you in the world--you, who are a stone to me +--you, whom I tended through months and months of +illness and grief, and who bade me farewell with a smile +on your face, and forgot me before the door shut between +us!" The native servants lying outside his verandas beheld +with wonder the Major, so cold and quiet ordinarily, +at present so passionately moved and cast down. Would +she have pitied him had she seen him? He read over and +over all the letters which he ever had from her--letters +of business relative to the little property which he had +made her believe her husband had left to her--brief notes +of invitation--every scrap of writing that she had ever +sent to him--how cold, how kind, how hopeless, how +selfish they were! + +Had there been some kind gentle soul near at hand who +could read and appreciate this silent generous heart, who +knows but that the reign of Amelia might have been over, +and that friend William's love might have flowed into a +kinder channel? But there was only Glorvina of the jetty +ringlets with whom his intercourse was familiar, and this +dashing young woman was not bent upon loving the +Major, but rather on making the Major admire HER--a +most vain and hopeless task, too, at least considering +the means that the poor girl possessed to carry +it out. She curled her hair and showed her shoulders +at him, as much as to say, did ye ever see such jet +ringlets and such a complexion? She grinned at him so +that he might see that every tooth in her head was +sound--and he never heeded all these charms. Very soon +after the arrival of the box of millinery, and perhaps indeed +in honour of it, Lady O'Dowd and the ladies of +the King's Regiment gave a ball to the Company's +Regiments and the civilians at the station. Glorvina +sported the killing pink frock, and the Major, who attended +the party and walked very ruefully up and down +the rooms, never so much as perceived the pink garment. +Glorvina danced past him in a fury with all the young +subalterns of the station, and the Major was not in the +least jealous of her performance, or angry because Captain +Bangles of the Cavalry handed her to supper. It was +not jealousy, or frocks, or shoulders that could move him, +and Glorvina had nothing more. + +So these two were each exemplifying the Vanity of this +life, and each longing for what he or she could not get. +Glorvina cried with rage at the failure. She had set her +mind on the Major "more than on any of the others," +she owned, sobbing. "He'll break my heart, he will, +Peggy," she would whimper to her sister-in-law when +they were good friends; "sure every one of me frocks +must be taken in--it's such a skeleton I'm growing." +Fat or thin, laughing or melancholy, on horseback or the +music-stool, it was all the same to the Major. And the +Colonel, puffing his pipe and listening to these complaints, +would suggest that Glory should have some black frocks +out in the next box from London, and told a mysterious +story of a lady in Ireland who died of grief for the loss of +her husband before she got ere a one. + +While the Major was going on in this tantalizing way, +not proposing, and declining to fall in love, there came +another ship from Europe bringing letters on board, and +amongst them some more for the heartless man. These +were home letters bearing an earlier postmark than that +of the former packets, and as Major Dobbin recognized +among his the handwriting of his sister, who always +crossed and recrossed her letters to her brother--gathered +together all the possible bad news which she could +collect, abused him and read him lectures with sisterly +frankness, and always left him miserable for the day after +"dearest William" had achieved the perusal of one of her +epistles--the truth must be told that dearest William did +not hurry himself to break the seal of Miss Dobbin's +letter, but waited for a particularly favourable day and +mood for doing so. A fortnight before, moreover, he +had written to scold her for telling those absurd stories +to Mrs. Osborne, and had despatched a letter in reply +to that lady, undeceiving her with respect to the reports +concerning him and assuring her that "he had no sort of +present intention of altering his condition." + +Two or three nights after the arrival of the second +package of letters, the Major had passed the evening +pretty cheerfully at Lady O'Dowd's house, where Glorvina +thought that he listened with rather more attention +than usual to the Meeting of the Wathers, the Minsthrel +Boy, and one or two other specimens of song with which +she favoured him (the truth is, he was no more listening +to Glorvina than to the howling of the jackals in the +moonlight outside, and the delusion was hers as usual), +and having played his game at chess with her (cribbage +with the surgeon was Lady O'Dowd's favourite evening +pastime), Major Dobbin took leave of the Colonel's family +at his usual hour and retired to his own house. + +There on his table, his sister's letter lay reproaching +him. He took it up, ashamed rather of his negligence +regarding it, and prepared himself for a disagreeable hour's +communing with that crabbed-handed absent relative. +. . . It may have been an hour after the Major's departure +from the Colonel's house--Sir Michael was sleeping +the sleep of the just; Glorvina had arranged her +black ringlets in the innumerable little bits of paper, in +which it was her habit to confine them; Lady O'Dowd, +too, had gone to her bed in the nuptial chamber, on the +ground-floor, and had tucked her musquito curtains +round her fair form, when the guard at the gates of the +Commanding-Officer's compound beheld Major Dobbin, +in the moonlight, rushing towards the house with a swift +step and a very agitated countenance, and he passed the +sentinel and went up to the windows of the Colonel's +bedchamber. + +"O'Dowd--Colonel!" said Dobbin and kept up a great +shouting. + +"Heavens, Meejor!" said Glorvina of the curl-papers, +putting out her head too, from her window. + +"What is it, Dob, me boy?" said the Colonel, expecting +there was a fire in the station, or that the route had +come from headquarters. + +"I--I must have leave of absence. I must go to England +--on the most urgent private affairs," Dobbin said. + +"Good heavens, what has happened!" thought Glorvina, +trembling with all the papillotes. + +"I want to be off--now--to-night," Dobbin continued; +and the Colonel getting up, came out to parley with him. + +In the postscript of Miss Dobbin's cross-letter, the +Major had just come upon a paragraph, to the following +effect:--"I drove yesterday to see your old ACQUAINTANCE, +Mrs. Osborne. The wretched place they live at, since +they were bankrupts, you know--Mr. S., to judge from +a BRASS PLATE on the door of his hut (it is little better) +is a coal-merchant. The little boy, your godson, is +certainly a fine child, though forward, and inclined to be +saucy and self-willed. But we have taken notice of him +as you wish it, and have introduced him to his aunt, +Miss O., who was rather pleased with him. Perhaps his +grandpapa, not the bankrupt one, who is almost doting, +but Mr. Osborne, of Russell Square, may be induced to +relent towards the child of your friend, HIS ERRING AND +SELF-WILLED SON. And Amelia will not be ill-disposed to +give him up. The widow is CONSOLED, and is about to +marry a reverend gentleman, the Rev. Mr. Binny, one +of the curates of Brompton. A poor match. But Mrs. O. +is getting old, and I saw a great deal of grey in her hair-- +she was in very good spirits: and your little godson overate +himself at our house. Mamma sends her love with +that of your affectionate, Ann Dobbin." + + + + +CHAPTER XLIV + + +A Round-about Chapter between London and +Hampshire + +Our old friends the Crawleys' family house, in Great +Gaunt Street, still bore over its front the hatchment which +had been placed there as a token of mourning for Sir +Pitt Crawley's demise, yet this heraldic emblem was in +itself a very splendid and gaudy piece of furniture, and +all the rest of the mansion became more brilliant than it +had ever been during the late baronet's reign. The black +outer-coating of the bricks was removed, and they +appeared with a cheerful, blushing face streaked with white: +the old bronze lions of the knocker were gilt handsomely, +the railings painted, and the dismallest house in Great +Gaunt Street became the smartest in the whole quarter, +before the green leaves in Hampshire had replaced those +yellowing ones which were on the trees in Queen's Crawley +Avenue when old Sir Pitt Crawley passed under them +for the last time. + +A little woman, with a carriage to correspond, was +perpetually seen about this mansion; an elderly spinster, +accompanied by a little boy, also might be remarked +coming thither daily. It was Miss Briggs and little Rawdon, +whose business it was to see to the inward renovation +of Sir Pitt's house, to superintend the female band +engaged in stitching the blinds and hangings, to poke +and rummage in the drawers and cupboards crammed +with the dirty relics and congregated trumperies of a +couple of generations of Lady Crawleys, and to take +inventories of the china, the glass, and other properties +in the closets and store-rooms. + +Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was general-in-chief over these +arrangements, with full orders from Sir Pitt to sell, barter, +confiscate, or purchase furniture, and she enjoyed herself +not a little in an occupation which gave full scope to her +taste and ingenuity. The renovation of the house was +determined upon when Sir Pitt came to town in November +to see his lawyers, and when he passed nearly a week in +Curzon Street, under the roof of his affectionate brother +and sister. + +He had put up at an hotel at first, but, Becky, as soon +as she heard of the Baronet's arrival, went off alone to +greet him, and returned in an hour to Curzon Street +with Sir Pitt in the carriage by her side. It was impossible +sometimes to resist this artless little creature's hospitalities, +so kindly were they pressed, so frankly and amiably +offered. Becky seized Pitt's hand in a transport of +gratitude when he agreed to come. "Thank you," she +said, squeezing it and looking into the Baronet's eyes, +who blushed a good deal; "how happy this will make +Rawdon!" She bustled up to Pitt's bedroom, leading +on the servants, who were carrying his trunks thither. She +came in herself laughing, with a coal-scuttle out of +her own room. + +A fire was blazing already in Sir Pitt's apartment (it +was Miss Briggs's room, by the way, who was sent +upstairs to sleep with the maid). "I knew I should bring +you," she said with pleasure beaming in her glance. Indeed, +she was really sincerely happy at having him for a guest. + +Becky made Rawdon dine out once or twice on business, +while Pitt stayed with them, and the Baronet passed +the happy evening alone with her and Briggs. She went +downstairs to the kitchen and actually cooked little +dishes for him. "Isn't it a good salmi?" she said; "I +made it for you. I can make you better dishes than that, +and will when you come to see me." + +"Everything you do, you do well," said the Baronet +gallantly. "The salmi is excellent indeed." + +"A poor man's wife," Rebecca replied gaily, "must +make herself useful, you know"; on which her brother- +in-law vowed that "she was fit to be the wife of an +Emperor, and that to be skilful in domestic duties was +surely one of the most charming of woman's qualities." +And Sir Pitt thought, with something like mortification, +of Lady Jane at home, and of a certain pie which she had +insisted on making, and serving to him at dinner--a +most abominable pie. + +Besides the salmi, which was made of Lord Steyne's +pheasants from his lordship's cottage of Stillbrook, Becky +gave her brother-in-law a bottle of white wine, some +that Rawdon had brought with him from France, and had +picked up for nothing, the little story-teller said; whereas +the liquor was, in truth, some White Hermitage from +the Marquis of Steyne's famous cellars, which brought fire +into the Baronet's pallid cheeks and a glow into his feeble +frame. + +Then when he had drunk up the bottle of petit vin +blanc, she gave him her hand, and took him up to the +drawing-room, and made him snug on the sofa by the +fire, and let him talk as she listened with the tenderest +kindly interest, sitting by him, and hemming a shirt +for her dear little boy. Whenever Mrs. Rawdon wished +to be particularly humble and virtuous, this little shirt +used to come out of her work-box. It had got to be too +small for Rawdon long before it was finished. + +Well, Rebecca listened to Pitt, she talked to him, she +sang to him, she coaxed him, and cuddled him, so that +he found himself more and more glad every day to get +back from the lawyer's at Gray's Inn, to the blazing fire +in Curzon Street--a gladness in which the men of law +likewise participated, for Pitt's harangues were of the +longest--and so that when he went away he felt quite a +pang at departing. How pretty she looked kissing her +hand to him from the carriage and waving her handkerchief +when he had taken his place in the mail! She put +the handkerchief to her eyes once. He pulled his +sealskin cap over his, as the coach drove away, and, +sinking back, he thought to himself how she respected +him and how he deserved it, and how Rawdon was a foolish +dull fellow who didn't half-appreciate his wife; and +how mum and stupid his own wife was compared to that +brilliant little Becky. Becky had hinted every one of these +things herself, perhaps, but so delicately and gently that +you hardly knew when or where. And, before they +parted, it was agreed that the house in London should be +redecorated for the next season, and that the brothers' +families should meet again in the country at Christmas. + +"I wish you could have got a little money out of +him," Rawdon said to his wife moodily when the Baronet +was gone. "I should like to give something to old Raggles, +hanged if I shouldn't. It ain't right, you know, that the +old fellow should be kept out of all his money. It may be +inconvenient, and he might let to somebody else besides +us, you know." + +"Tell him," said Becky, "that as soon as Sir Pitt's +affairs are settled, everybody will be paid, and give him a +little something on account. Here's a cheque that Pitt +left for the boy," and she took from her bag and gave +her husband a paper which his brother had handed over +to her, on behalf of the little son and heir of the younger +branch of the Crawleys. + +The truth is, she had tried personally the ground on +which her husband expressed a wish that she should +venture--tried it ever so delicately, and found it unsafe. +Even at a hint about embarrassments, Sir Pitt Crawley was +off and alarmed. And he began a long speech, explaining +how straitened he himself was in money matters; how +the tenants would not pay; how his father's affairs, and +the expenses attendant upon the demise of the old +gentleman, had involved him; how he wanted to pay off +incumbrances; and how the bankers and agents were +overdrawn; and Pitt Crawley ended by making a +compromise with his sister-in-law and giving her a very +small sum for the benefit of her little boy. + +Pitt knew how poor his brother and his brother's family +must be. It could not have escaped the notice of such a +cool and experienced old diplomatist that Rawdon's family +had nothing to live upon, and that houses and carriages +are not to be kept for nothing. He knew very well that +he was the proprietor or appropriator of the money, +which, according to all proper calculation, ought to have fallen to his younger brother, and he had, we may be sure, some +secret pangs of remorse within him, which warned +him that he ought to perform some act of justice, +or, let us say, compensation, towards these disappointed +relations. A just, decent man, not without brains, +who said his prayers, and knew his catechism, and +did his duty outwardly through life, he could not be +otherwise than aware that something was due to his +brother at his hands, and that morally he was Rawdon's +debtor. + +But, as one reads in the columns of the Times newspaper +every now and then, queer announcements from +the Chancellor of the Exchequer, acknowledging the receipt +of 50 pounds from A. B., or 10 pounds from W. T., as +conscience-money, on account of taxes due by the said +A. B. or W. T., which payments the penitents beg the +Right Honourable gentleman to acknowledge through the +medium of the public press--so is the Chancellor no +doubt, and the reader likewise, always perfectly sure that +the above-named A. B. and W. T. are only paying a +very small instalment of what they really owe, and that +the man who sends up a twenty-pound note has very +likely hundreds or thousands more for which he ought +to account. Such, at least, are my feelings, when I see +A. B. or W. T.'s insufficient acts of repentance. And I +have no doubt that Pitt Crawley's contrition, or kindness +if you will, towards his younger brother, by whom +he had so much profited, was only a very small dividend +upon the capital sum in which he was indebted to Rawdon. +Not everybody is willing to pay even so much. To part +with money is a sacrifice beyond almost all men endowed +with a sense of order. There is scarcely any man alive +who does not think himself meritorious for giving +his neighbour five pounds. Thriftless gives, not from a +beneficent pleasure in giving, but from a lazy delight in +spending. He would not deny himself one enjoyment; not +his opera-stall, not his horse, not his dinner, not even +the pleasure of giving Lazarus the five pounds. Thrifty, +who is good, wise, just, and owes no man a penny, turns +from a beggar, haggles with a hackney-coachman, or +denies a poor relation, and I doubt which is the most +selfish of the two. Money has only a different value in +the eyes of each. + +So, in a word, Pitt Crawley thought he would do something +for his brother, and then thought that he would think +about it some other time. + +And with regard to Becky, she was not a woman who +expected too much from the generosity of her +neighbours, and so was quite content with all that Pitt Crawley +had done for her. She was acknowledged by the head +of the family. If Pitt would not give her anything, he +would get something for her some day. If she got no +money from her brother-in-law, she got what was as good +as money--credit. Raggles was made rather easy in his +mind by the spectacle of the union between the brothers, +by a small payment on the spot, and by the promise of a +much larger sum speedily to be assigned to him. And +Rebecca told Miss Briggs, whose Christmas dividend +upon the little sum lent by her Becky paid with an air of +candid joy, and as if her exchequer was brimming over +with gold--Rebecca, we say, told Miss Briggs, in strict +confidence that she had conferred with Sir Pitt, who was +famous as a financier, on Briggs's special behalf, as to +the most profitable investment of Miss B.'s remaining +capital; that Sir Pitt, after much consideration, had +thought of a most safe and advantageous way in which +Briggs could lay out her money; that, being especially +interested in her as an attached friend of the late Miss +Crawley, and of the whole family, and that long before +he left town, he had recommended that she should be +ready with the money at a moment's notice, so as to +purchase at the most favourable opportunity the shares +which Sir Pitt had in his eye. Poor Miss Briggs was very +grateful for this mark of Sir Pitt's attention--it came so +unsolicited, she said, for she never should have thought of +removing the money from the funds--and the delicacy +enhanced the kindness of the office; and she promised to +see her man of business immediately and be ready with +her little cash at the proper hour. + +And this worthy woman was so grateful for the +kindness of Rebecca in the matter, and for that of her +generous benefactor, the Colonel, that she went out and +spent a great part of her half-year's dividend in the +purchase of a black velvet coat for little Rawdon, who, by +the way, was grown almost too big for black velvet now, +and was of a size and age befitting him for the assumption +of the virile jacket and pantaloons. + +He was a fine open-faced boy, with blue eyes and +waving flaxen hair, sturdy in limb, but generous and soft in +heart, fondly attaching himself to all who were good to +him--to the pony--to Lord Southdown, who gave him +the horse (he used to blush and glow all over when he +saw that kind young nobleman)--to the groom who had +charge of the pony--to Molly, the cook, who crammed +him with ghost stories at night, and with good things from +the dinner--to Briggs, whom he plagued and laughed at +--and to his father especially, whose attachment +towards the lad was curious too to witness. Here, as he +grew to be about eight years old, his attachments may +be said to have ended. The beautiful mother-vision had +faded away after a while. During near two years she had +scarcely spoken to the child. She disliked him. He had +the measles and the hooping-cough. He bored her. One +day when he was standing at the landing-place, having +crept down from the upper regions, attracted by the sound +of his mother's voice, who was singing to Lord Steyne, +the drawing room door opening suddenly, discovered the +little spy, who but a moment before had been rapt in +delight, and listening to the music. + +His mother came out and struck him violently a couple +of boxes on the ear. He heard a laugh from the Marquis +in the inner room (who was amused by this free and +artless exhibition of Becky's temper) and fled down below +to his friends of the kitchen, bursting in an agony of +grief. + +"It is not because it hurts me," little Rawdon gasped +out--"only--only"--sobs and tears wound up the +sentence in a storm. It was the little boy's heart that was +bleeding. "Why mayn't I hear her singing? Why don't +she ever sing to me--as she does to that baldheaded +man with the large teeth?" He gasped out at various +intervals these exclamations of rage and grief. The cook +looked at the housemaid, the housemaid looked +knowingly at the footman--the awful kitchen inquisition which +sits in judgement in every house and knows everything-- +sat on Rebecca at that moment. + +After this incident, the mother's dislike increased to +hatred; the consciousness that the child was in the house +was a reproach and a pain to her. His very sight +annoyed her. Fear, doubt, and resistance sprang up, too, +in the boy's own bosom. They were separated from that +day of the boxes on the ear. + +Lord Steyne also heartily disliked the boy. When they +met by mischance, he made sarcastic bows or remarks +to the child, or glared at him with savage-looking eyes. +Rawdon used to stare him in the face and double his +little fists in return. He knew his enemy, and this gentleman, +of all who came to the house, was the one who +angered him most. One day the footman found him +squaring his fists at Lord Steyne's hat in the hall. The +footman told the circumstance as a good joke to Lord +Steyne's coachman; that officer imparted it to Lord +Steyne's gentleman, and to the servants' hall in general. +And very soon afterwards, when Mrs. Rawdon Crawley +made her appearance at Gaunt House, the porter who +unbarred the gates, the servants of all uniforms in the hall, +the functionaries in white waistcoats, who bawled out +from landing to landing the names of Colonel and Mrs. +Rawdon Crawley, knew about her, or fancied they did. +The man who brought her refreshment and stood behind +her chair, had talked her character over with the large +gentleman in motley-coloured clothes at his side. Bon +Dieu! it is awful, that servants' inquisition! You see a +woman in a great party in a splendid saloon, surrounded +by faithful admirers, distributing sparkling glances, +dressed to perfection, curled, rouged, smiling and happy +--Discovery walks respectfully up to her, in the shape of +a huge powdered man with large calves and a tray of ices +--with Calumny (which is as fatal as truth) behind +him, in the shape of the hulking fellow carrying the wafer- +biscuits. Madam, your secret will be talked over by those +men at their club at the public-house to-night. Jeames +will tell Chawles his notions about you over their pipes +and pewter beer-pots. Some people ought to have mutes +for servants in Vanity Fair--mutes who could not write. +If you are guilty, tremble. That fellow behind your chair +may be a Janissary with a bow-string in his plush breeches +pocket. If you are not guilty, have a care of +appearances, which are as ruinous as guilt. + +"Was Rebecca guilty or not?" the Vehmgericht of tho +servants' hall had pronounced against her. + +And, I shame to say, she would not have got credit +had they not believed her to be guilty. It was the sight of +the Marquis of Steyne's carriage-lamps at her door, +contemplated by Raggles, burning in the blackness of +midnight, "that kep him up," as he afterwards said, that +even more than Rebecca's arts and coaxings. + +And so--guiltless very likely--she was writhing and +pushing onward towards what they call "a position in +society," and the servants were pointing at her as lost +and ruined. So you see Molly, the housemaid, of a morning, +watching a spider in the doorpost lay his thread and +laboriously crawl up it, until, tired of the sport, she +raises her broom and sweeps away the thread and the +artificer. + +A day or two before Christmas, Becky, her husband +and her son made ready and went to pass the holidays +at the seat of their ancestors at Queen's Crawley. Becky +would have liked to leave the little brat behind, and +would have done so but for Lady Jane's urgent invitations +to the youngster, and the symptoms of revolt and +discontent which Rawdon manifested at her neglect of her +son. "He's the finest boy in England," the father said in a +tone of reproach to her, "and you don't seem to care for +him, Becky, as much as you do for your spaniel. He +shan't bother you much; at home he will be away from +you in the nursery, and he shall go outside on the coach +with me." + +"Where you go yourself because you want to smoke +those filthy cigars," replied Mrs. Rawdon. + +"I remember when you liked 'em though," answered the +husband. + +Becky laughed; she was almost always good-humoured. +"That was when I was on my promotion, Goosey," she +said. "Take Rawdon outside with you and give him a cigar +too if you like." + +Rawdon did not warm his little son for the winter's +journey in this way, but he and Briggs wrapped up the +child in shawls and comforters, and he was hoisted +respectfully onto the roof of the coach in the.dark morning, +under the lamps of the White Horse Cellar; and with +no small delight he watched the dawn rise and made +his first journey to the place which his father still called +home. It was a journey of infinite pleasure to the boy, to +whom the incidents of the road afforded endless interest, +his father answering to him all questions connected with it +and telling him who lived in the great white house to the +right, and whom the park belonged to. His mother, inside +the vehicle, with her maid and her furs, her wrappers, and +her scent bottles, made such a to-do that you would have +thought she never had been in a stage-coach before-- +much less, that she had been turned out of this very one +to make room for a paying passenger on a certain +journey performed some half-score years ago. + +It was dark again when little Rawdon was wakened up +to enter his uncle's carriage at Mudbury, and he sat and +looked out of it wondering as the great iron gates flew +open, and at the white trunks of the limes as they swept +by, until they stopped, at length, before the light windows +of the Hall, which were blazing and comfortable with +Christmas welcome. The hall-door was flung open--a big +fire was burning in the great old fire-place--a carpet was +down over the chequered black flags--"It's the old Turkey +one that used to be in the Ladies' Gallery," thought +Rebecca, and the next instant was kissing Lady Jane. + +She and Sir Pitt performed the same salute with great +gravity; but Rawdon, having been smoking, hung back +rather from his sister-in-law, whose two children came +up to their cousin; and, while Matilda held out her hand +and kissed him, Pitt Binkie Southdown, the son and heir, +stood aloof rather and examined him as a little dog does +a big dog. + +Then the kind hostess conducted her guests to the snug +apartments blazing with cheerful fires. Then the young +ladies came and knocked at Mrs. Rawdon's door, under +the pretence that they were desirous to be useful, but in +reality to have the pleasure of inspecting the contents of +her band and bonnet-boxes, and her dresses which, though +black, were of the newest London fashion. And they told +her how much the Hall was changed for the better, and +how old Lady Southdown was gone, and how Pitt was +taking his station in the county, as became a Crawley in +fact. Then the great dinner-bell having rung, the family +assembled at dinner, at which meal Rawdon Junior was +placed by his aunt, the good-natured lady of the house, +Sir Pitt being uncommonly attentive to his sister-in-law at +his own right hand. + +Little Rawdon exhibited a fine appetite and showed a +gentlemanlike behaviour. + +"I like to dine here," he said to his aunt when he had +completed his meal, at the conclusion of which, and +after a decent grace by Sir Pitt, the younger son and +heir was introduced, and was perched on a high chair +by the Baronet's side, while the daughter took possession +of the place and the little wine-glass prepared for her +near her mother. "I like to dine here," said Rawdon Minor, +looking up at his relation's kind face. + +"Why?" said the good Lady Jane. + +"I dine in the kitchen when I am at home," replied +Rawdon Minor, "or else with Briggs." But Becky was so +engaged with the Baronet, her host, pouring out a flood of +compliments and delights and raptures, and admiring +young Pitt Binkie, whom she declared to be the most +beautiful, intelligent, noble-looking little creature, and so +like his father, that she did not hear the remarks of her +own flesh and blood at the other end of the broad +shining table. + +As a guest, and it being the first night of his arrival, +Rawdon the Second was allowed to sit up until the hour +when tea being over, and a great gilt book being laid on +the table before Sir Pitt, all the domestics of the family +streamed in, and Sir Pitt read prayers. It was the first +time the poor little boy had ever witnessed or heard of +such a ceremonial. + +The house had been much improved even since the +Baronet's brief reign, and was pronounced by Becky to be +perfect, charming, delightful, when she surveyed it in +his company. As for little Rawdon, who examined it with +the children for his guides, it seemed to him a perfect +palace of enchantment and wonder. There were long +galleries, and ancient state bedrooms, there were +pictures and old China, and armour. There were the rooms +in which Grandpapa died, and by which the children +walked with terrified looks. "Who was Grandpapa?" he +asked; and they told him how he used to be very old, and +used to be wheeled about in a garden-chair, and they +showed him the garden-chair one day rotting in the +out-house in which it had lain since the old gentleman had +been wheeled away yonder to the church, of which the +spire was glittering over the park elms. + +The brothers had good occupation for several mornings +in examining the improvements which had been effected +by Sir Pitt's genius and economy. And as they walked +or rode, and looked at them, they could talk without +too much boring each other. And Pitt took care to tell +Rawdon what a heavy outlay of money these improvements +had occasioned, and that a man of landed and funded +property was often very hard pressed for twenty pounds. +"There is that new lodge-gate," said Pitt, pointing to +it humbly with the bamboo cane, "I can no more pay for it +before the dividends in January than I can fly." + +"I can lend you, Pitt, till then," Rawdon answered rather +ruefully; and they went in and looked at the restored lodge, +where the family arms were just new scraped in stone, +and where old Mrs. Lock, for the first time these many +long years, had tight doors, sound roofs, and whole +windows. + + + +CHAPTER XLV + + +Between Hampshire and London + +Sir Pitt Crawley had done more than repair fences and +restore dilapidated lodges on the Queen's Crawley estate. +Like a wise man he had set to work to rebuild the +injured popularity of his house and stop up the gaps and +ruins in which his name had been left by his disreputable +and thriftless old predecessor. He was elected for the +borough speedily after his father's demise; a magistrate, +a member of parliament, a county magnate and representative +of an ancient family, he made it his duty to show +himself before the Hampshire public, subscribed +handsomely to the county charities, called assiduously upon +all the county folk, and laid himself out in a word to take +that position in Hampshire, and in the Empire afterwards, +to which he thought his prodigious talents justly +entitled him. Lady Jane was instructed to be friendly with +the Fuddlestones, and the Wapshots, and the other +famous baronets, their neighbours. Their carriages might +frequently be seen in the Queen's Crawley avenue now; +they dined pretty frequently at the Hall (where the cookery +was so good that it was clear Lady Jane very seldom +had a hand in it), and in return Pitt and his wife most +energetically dined out in all sorts of weather and at all +sorts of distances. For though Pitt did not care for joviality, +being a frigid man of poor hearth and appetite, yet he +considered that to be hospitable and condescending +was quite incumbent on-his station, and every time that +he got a headache from too long an after-dinner sitting, +he felt that he was a martyr to duty. He talked about +crops, corn-laws, politics, with the best country gentlemen. +He (who had been formerly inclined to be a sad +free-thinker on these points) entered into poaching and +game preserving with ardour. He didn't hunt; he wasn't +a hunting man; he was a man of books and peaceful +habits; but he thought that the breed of horses must be +kept up in the country, and that the breed of foxes must +therefore be looked to, and for his part, if his friend, +Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone, liked to draw his country +and meet as of old the F. hounds used to do at Queen's +Crawley, he should be happy to see him there, and the +gentlemen of the Fuddlestone hunt. And to Lady Southdown's +dismay too he became more orthodox in his tendencies +every day; gave up preaching in public and attending +meeting-houses; went stoutly to church; called +on the Bishop and all the Clergy at Winchester; and made +no objection when the Venerable Archdeacon Trumper +asked for a game of whist. What pangs must have been +those of Lady Southdown, and what an utter castaway she +must have thought her son-in-law for permitting such +a godless diversion! And when, on the return of the family +from an oratorio at Winchester, the Baronet announced +to the young ladies that he should next year very +probably take them to the "county balls," they worshipped +him for his kindness. Lady Jane was only too obedient, and +perhaps glad herself to go. The Dowager wrote off the +direst descriptions of her daughter's worldly behaviour to +the authoress of the Washerwoman of Finchley Common +at the Cape; and her house in Brighton being about this +time unoccupied, returned to that watering-place, her +absence being not very much deplored by her children. +We may suppose, too, that Rebecca, on paying a second +visit to Queen's Crawley, did not feel particularly grieved +at the absence of the lady of the medicine chest; though +she wrote a Christmas letter to her Ladyship, in which she +respectfully recalled herself to Lady Southdown's +recollection, spoke with gratitude of the delight which her +Ladyship's conversation had given her on the former +visit, dilated on the kindness with which her Ladyship had +treated her in sickness, and declared that everything at +Queen's Crawley reminded her of her absent friend. + +A great part of the altered demeanour and popularity +of Sir Pitt Crawley might have been traced to the counsels +of that astute little lady of Curzon Street. "You remain a +Baronet--you consent to be a mere country gentleman," +she said to him, while he had been her guest in London. +"No, Sir Pitt Crawley, I know you better. I know your +talents and your ambition. You fancy you hide them +both, but you can conceal neither from me. I showed +Lord Steyne your pamphlet on malt. He was familiar +with it, and said it was in the opinion of the whole Cabinet +the most masterly thing that had appeared on the subject. +The Ministry has its eye upon you, and I know what you +want. You want to distinguish yourself in Parliament; +every one says you are the finest speaker in England +(for your speeches at Oxford are still remembered). You +want to be Member for the County, where, with your own +vote and your borough at your back, you can command +anything. And you want to be Baron Crawley of Queen's +Crawley, and will be before you die. I saw it all. I could +read your heart, Sir Pitt. If I had a husband who +possessed your intellect as he does your name, I sometimes +think I should not be unworthy of him--but--but I am +your kinswoman now," she added with a laugh. "Poor +little penniless, I have got a little interest--and who +knows, perhaps the mouse may be able to aid the lion." +Pitt Crawley was amazed and enraptured with her +speech. "How that woman comprehends me!" he said. +"I never could get Jane to read three pages of the malt +pamphlet. She has no idea that I have commanding +talents or secret ambition. So they remember my speaking +at Oxford, do they? The rascals! Now that I represent +my borough and may sit for the county, they begin to +recollect me! Why, Lord Steyne cut me at the levee last +year; they are beginning to find out that Pitt Crawley is +some one at last. Yes, the man was always the same +whom these people neglected: it was only the opportunity +that was wanting, and I will show them now that I can +speak and act as well as write. Achilles did not declare +himself until they gave him the sword. I hold it now, and +the world shall yet hear of Pitt Crawley." + +Therefore it was that this roguish diplomatist has grown +so hospitable; that he was so civil to oratorios and +hospitals; so kind to Deans and Chapters; so generous in +giving and accepting dinners; so uncommonly gracious to +farmers on market-days; and so much interested about +county business; and that the Christmas at the Hall was the +gayest which had been known there for many a long day. + +On Christmas Day a great family gathering took place. +All the Crawleys from the Rectory came to dine. Rebecca +was as frank and fond of Mrs. Bute as if the other had +never been her enemy; she was affectionately interested +in the dear girls, and surprised at the progress which they +had made in music since her time, and insisted upon +encoring one of the duets out of the great song-books +which Jim, grumbling, had been forced to bring under his +arm from the Rectory. Mrs. Bute, perforce, was obliged +to adopt a decent demeanour towards the little adventuress +--of course being free to discourse with her daughters +afterwards about the absurd respect with which Sir Pitt +treated his sister-in-law. But Jim, who had sat next to +her at dinner, declared she was a trump, and one and all +of the Rector's family agreed that the little Rawdon was a +fine boy. They respected a possible baronet in the boy, +between whom and the title there was only the little +sickly pale Pitt Binkie. + +The children were very good friends. Pitt Binkie was too +little a dog for such a big dog as Rawdon to play with; and +Matilda being only a girl, of course not fit companion +for a young gentleman who was near eight years old, and +going into jackets very soon. He took the command of +this small party at once--the little girl and the little boy +following him about with great reverence at such times +as he condescended to sport with them. His happiness +and pleasure in the country were extreme. The kitchen +garden pleased him hugely, the flowers moderately, but +the pigeons and the poultry, and the stables when he +was allowed to visit them, were delightful objects to +him. He resisted being kissed by the Misses Crawley, +but he allowed Lady Jane sometimes to embrace him, and +it was by her side that he liked to sit when, the signal +to retire to the drawing-room being given, the ladies +left the gentlemen to their claret--by her side rather +than by his mother. For Rebecca, seeing that tenderness +was the fashion, called Rawdon to her one evening and +stooped down and kissed him in the presence of all the +ladies. + +He looked her full in the face after the operation, +trembling and turning very red, as his wont was when +moved. "You never kiss me at home, Mamma," he said, +at which there was a general silence and consternation and +a by no means pleasant look in Becky's eyes. + +Rawdon was fond of his sister-in-law, for her regard +for his son. Lady Jane and Becky did not get on quite so +well at this visit as on occasion of the former one, when +the Colonel's wife was bent upon pleasing. Those two +speeches of the child struck rather a chill. Perhaps Sir +Pitt was rather too attentive to her. + +But Rawdon, as became his age and size, was fonder +of the society of the men than of the women, and never +wearied of accompanying his sire to the stables, whither +the Colonel retired to smoke his cigar--Jim, the Rector's +son, sometimes joining his cousin in that and other amusements. +He and the Baronet's keeper were very close +friends, their mutual taste for "dawgs" bringing them +much together. On one day, Mr. James, the Colonel, and +Horn, the keeper, went and shot pheasants, taking little +Rawdon with them. On another most blissful morning, +these four gentlemen partook of the amusement of +rat-hunting in a barn, than which sport Rawdon as yet had +never seen anything more noble. They stopped up the +ends of certain drains in the barn, into the other openings +of which ferrets were inserted, and then stood silently +aloof, with uplifted stakes in their hands, and an anxious +little terrier (Mr. James's celebrated "dawg" Forceps, +indeed) scarcely breathing from excitement, listening +motionless on three legs, to the faint squeaking of the +rats below. Desperately bold at last, the persecuted +animals bolted above-ground--the terrier accounted for one, +the keeper for another; Rawdon, from flurry and +excitement, missed his rat, but on the other hand he +half-murdered a ferret. + +But the greatest day of all was that on which Sir +Huddlestone Fuddlestone's hounds met upon the lawn +at Queen's Crawley. + +That was a famous sight for little Rawdon. At half-past +ten, Tom Moody, Sir Huddlestone Fuddlestone's +huntsman, was seen trotting up the avenue, followed by the +noble pack of hounds in a compact body--the rear being +brought up by the two whips clad in stained scarlet +frocks--light hard-featured lads on well-bred lean horses, +possessing marvellous dexterity in casting the points of +their long heavy whips at the thinnest part of any dog's +skin who dares to straggle from the main body, or to +take the slightest notice, or even so much as wink, at the +hares and rabbits starting under their noses. + +Next comes boy Jack, Tom Moody's son, who weighs +five stone, measures eight-and-forty inches, and will never +be any bigger. He is perched on a large raw-boned hunter, +half-covered by a capacious saddle. This animal is Sir +Huddlestone Fuddlestone's favourite horse the Nob. +Other horses, ridden by other small boys, arrive from +time to time, awaiting their masters, who will come +cantering on anon. + +Tom Moody rides up to the door of the Hall, where he +is welcomed by the butler, who offers him drink, which he +declines. He and his pack then draw off into a sheltered +corner of the lawn, where the dogs roll on the grass, and +play or growl angrily at one another, ever and anon +breaking out into furious fight speedily to be quelled by +Tom's voice, unmatched at rating, or the snaky thongs +of the whips. + +Many young gentlemen canter up on thoroughbred +hacks, spatter-dashed to the knee, and enter the house to +drink cherry-brandy and pay their respects to the ladies, +or, more modest and sportsmanlike, divest themselves +of their mud-boots, exchange their hacks for their hunters, +and warm their blood by a preliminary gallop round the +lawn. Then they collect round the pack in the corner and +talk with Tom Moody of past sport, and the merits of +Sniveller and Diamond, and of the state of the country +and of the wretched breed of foxes. + +Sir Huddlestone presently appears mounted on a clever +cob and rides up to the Hall, where he enters and does the +civil thing by the ladies, after which, being a man of +few words, he proceeds to business. The hounds are +drawn up to the hall-door, and little Rawdon descends +amongst them, excited yet half-alarmed by the caresses +which they bestow upon him, at the thumps he receives +from their waving tails, and at their canine bickerings, +scarcely restrained by Tom Moody's tongue and lash. + +Meanwhile, Sir Huddlestone has hoisted himself +unwieldily on the Nob: "Let's try Sowster's Spinney, Tom," +says the Baronet, "Farmer Mangle tells me there are two +foxes in it." Tom blows his horn and trots off, followed by +the pack, by the whips, by the young gents from +Winchester, by the farmers of the neighbourhood, by the +labourers of the parish on foot, with whom the day is +a great holiday, Sir Huddlestone bringing up the rear with +Colonel Crawley, and the whole cortege disappears +down the avenue. + +The Reverend Bute Crawley (who has been too modest +to appear at the public meet before his nephew's +windows), whom Tom Moody remembers forty years back +a slender divine riding the wildest horses, jumping the +widest brooks, and larking over the newest gates in the +country--his Reverence, we say, happens to trot out from +the Rectory Lane on his powerful black horse just as Sir +Huddlestone passes; he joins the worthy Baronet. Hounds +and horsemen disappear, and little Rawdon remains on the +doorsteps, wondering and happy. + +During the progress of this memorable holiday, little +Rawdon, if he had got no special liking for his uncle, +always awful and cold and locked up in his study, plunged +in justice-business and surrounded by bailiffs and farmers +--has gained the good graces of his married and maiden +aunts, of the two little folks of the Hall, and of Jim of the +Rectory, whom Sir Pitt is encouraging to pay his addresses +to one of the young ladies, with an understanding doubtless +that he shall be presented to the living when it shall +be vacated by his fox-hunting old sire. Jim has given up +that sport himself and confines himself to a little harmless +duck- or snipe-shooting, or a little quiet trifling with the +rats during the Christmas holidays, after which he will +return to the University and try and not be plucked, once +more. He has already eschewed green coats, red +neckcloths, and other worldly ornaments, and is preparing +himself for a change in his condition. In this cheap and +thrifty way Sir Pitt tries to pay off his debt to his family. + +Also before this merry Christmas was over, the Baronet +had screwed up courage enough to give his brother +another draft on his bankers, and for no less a sum than a +hundred pounds, an act which caused Sir Pitt cruel pangs +at first, but which made him glow afterwards to think +himself one of the most generous of men. Rawdon and his +son went away with the utmost heaviness of heart. Becky +and the ladies parted with some alacrity, however, and our +friend returned to London to commence those avocations +with which we find her occupied when this chapter begins. +Under her care the Crawley House in Great Gaunt Street +was quite rejuvenescent and ready for the reception of +Sir Pitt and his family, when the Baronet came to +London to attend his duties in Parliament and to assume that +position in the country for which his vast genius fitted +him. + +For the first session, this profound dissembler hid his +projects and never opened his lips but to present a +petition from Mudbury. But he attended assiduously in his +place and learned thoroughly the routine and business of +the House. At home he gave himself up to the perusal of +Blue Books, to the alarm and wonder of Lady Jane, who +thought he was killing himself by late hours and intense +application. And he made acquaintance with the ministers, +and the chiefs of his party, determining to rank as +one of them before many years were over. + +Lady Jane's sweetness and kindness had inspired +Rebecca with such a contempt for her ladyship as the little +woman found no small difficulty in concealing. That sort +of goodness and simplicity which Lady Jane possessed +annoyed our friend Becky, and it was impossible for her at +times not to show, or to let the other divine, her scorn. +Her presence, too, rendered Lady Jane uneasy. Her +husband talked constantly with Becky. Signs of intelligence +seemed to pass between them, and Pitt spoke with her on +subjects on which he never thought of discoursing with +Lady Jane. The latter did not understand them, to be sure, +but it was mortifying to remain silent; still more +mortifying to know that you had nothing to say, and hear that +little audacious Mrs. Rawdon dashing on from subject to +subject, with a word for every man, and a joke always pat; +and to sit in one's own house alone, by the fireside, and +watching all the men round your rival. + +In the country, when Lady Jane was telling stories to +the children, who clustered about her knees (little +Rawdon into the bargain, who was very fond of her), and +Becky came into the room, sneering with green scornful +eyes, poor Lady Jane grew silent under those baleful +glances. Her simple little fancies shrank away tremulously, +as fairies in the story-books, before a superior bad +angel. She could not go on, although Rebecca, with the +smallest inflection of sarcasm in her voice, besought her +to continue that charming story. And on her side gentle +thoughts and simple pleasures were odious to Mrs. Becky; +they discorded with her; she hated people for liking them; +she spurned children and children-lovers. "I have no +taste for bread and butter," she would say, when +caricaturing Lady Jane and her ways to my Lord Steyne. + +"No more has a certain person for holy water," his +lordship replied with a bow and a grin and a great jarring +laugh afterwards. + +So these two ladies did not see much of each other +except upon those occasions when the younger brother's +wife, having an object to gain from the other, frequented +her. They my-loved and my-deared each other assiduously, +but kept apart generally, whereas Sir Pitt, in the +midst of his multiplied avocations, found daily time to +see his sister-in-law. + +On the occasion of his first Speaker's dinner, Sir Pitt +took the opportunity of appearing before his sister-in-law +in his uniform--that old diplomatic suit which he had +worn when attache to the Pumpernickel legation. + +Becky complimented him upon that dress and admired +him almost as much as his own wife and children, to +whom he displayed himself before he set out. She said +that it was only the thoroughbred gentleman who could +wear the Court suit with advantage: it was only your men +of ancient race whom the culotte courte became. Pitt +looked down with complacency at his legs, which had not, +in truth, much more symmetry or swell than the lean +Court sword which dangled by his side--looked down +at his legs, and thought in his heart that he was killing. + +When he was gone, Mrs. Becky made a caricature +of his figure, which she showed to Lord Steyne when he +arrived. His lordship carried off the sketch, delighted +with the accuracy of the resemblance. He had done Sir +Pitt Crawley the honour to meet him at Mrs. Becky's +house and had been most gracious to the new Baronet +and member. Pitt was struck too by the deference with +which the great Peer treated his sister-in-law, by her ease +and sprightliness in the conversation, and by the delight +with which the other men of the party listened to her talk. +Lord Steyne made no doubt but that the Baronet had +only commenced his career in public life, and expected +rather anxiously to hear him as an orator; as they were +neighbours (for Great Gaunt Street leads into Gaunt +Square, whereof Gaunt House, as everybody knows, forms +one side) my lord hoped that as soon as Lady Steyne +arrived in London she would have the honour of making +the acquaintance of Lady Crawley. He left a card upon +his neighbour in the course of a day or two, having never +thought fit to notice his predecessor, though they had +lived near each other for near a century past. + +In the midst of these intrigues and fine parties and +wise and brilliant personages Rawdon felt himself more +and more isolated every day. He was allowed to go to +the club more; to dine abroad with bachelor friends; +to come and go when he liked, without any questions +being asked. And he and Rawdon the younger many a +time would walk to Gaunt Street and sit with the lady +and the children there while Sir Pitt was closeted with +Rebecca, on his way to the House, or on his return +from it. + +The ex-Colonel would sit for hours in his brother's +house very silent, and thinking and doing as little as +possible. He was glad to be employed of an errand; to +go and make inquiries about a horse or a servant, or to +carve the roast mutton for the dinner of the children. +He was beat and cowed into laziness and submission. +Delilah had imprisoned him and cut his hair off, too. The +bold and reckless young blood of ten-years back was +subjugated and was turned into a torpid, submissive, +middle-aged, stout gentleman. + +And poor Lady Jane was aware that Rebecca had +captivated her husband, although she and Mrs. Rawdon +my-deared and my-loved each other every day they met. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVI + + +Struggles and Trials + +Our friends at Brompton were meanwhile passing their +Christmas after their fashion and in a manner by no +means too cheerful. + +Out of the hundred pounds a year, which was about +the amount of her income, the Widow Osborne had been +in the habit of giving up nearly three-fourths to her +father and mother, for the expenses of herself and her +little boy. With #120 more, supplied by Jos, this family +of four people, attended by a single Irish servant who +also did for Clapp and his wife, might manage to live +in decent comfort through the year, and hold up their +heads yet, and be able to give a friend a dish of tea still, +after the storms and disappointments of their early life. +Sedley still maintained his ascendency over the family of +Mr. Clapp, his ex-clerk. Clapp remembered the time +when, sitting on the edge of the chair, he tossed off a +bumper to the health of "Mrs. S--, Miss Emmy, and +Mr. Joseph in India," at the merchant's rich table in +Russell Square. Time magnified the splendour of those +recollections in the honest clerk's bosom. Whenever he came +up from the kitchen-parlour to the drawing-room and +partook of tea or gin-and-water with Mr. Sedley, he +would say, "This was not what you was accustomed to +once, sir," and as gravely and reverentially drink the +health of the ladies as he had done in the days of their +utmost prosperity. He thought Miss 'Melia's playing the +divinest music ever performed, and her the finest lady. +He never would sit down before Sedley at the club even, +nor would he have that gentleman's character abused by +any member of the society. He had seen the first men in +London shaking hands with Mr. S--; he said, "He'd +known him in times when Rothschild might be seen on +'Change with him any day, and he owed him personally +everythink." + +Clapp, with the best of characters and handwritings, +had been able very soon after his master's disaster to find +other employment for himself. "Such a little fish as me +can swim in any bucket," he used to remark, and a +member of the house from which old Sedley had seceded was +very glad to make use of Mr. Clapp's services and to +reward them with a comfortable salary. In fine, all Sedley's +wealthy friends had dropped off one by one, and this +poor ex-dependent still remained faithfully attached to +him. + +Out of the small residue of her income which Amelia +kept back for herself, the widow had need of all the +thrift and care possible in order to enable her to keep +her darling boy dressed in such a manner as became +George Osborne's son, and to defray the expenses of the +little school to which, after much misgiving and +reluctance and many secret pangs and fears on her own +part, she had been induced to send the lad. She had sat up +of nights conning lessons and spelling over crabbed +grammars and geography books in order to teach them to +Georgy. She had worked even at the Latin accidence, +fondly hoping that she might be capable of instructing +him in that language. To part with him all day, to send +him out to the mercy of a schoolmaster's cane and his +schoolfellows' roughness, was almost like weaning him +over again to that weak mother, so tremulous and full of +sensibility. He, for his part, rushed off to the school with +the utmost happiness. He was longing for the change. +That childish gladness wounded his mother, who was +herself so grieved to part with him. She would rather have +had him more sorry, she thought, and then was deeply +repentant within herself for daring to be so selfish as to +wish her own son to be unhappy. + +Georgy made great progress in the school, which was +kept by a friend of his mother's constant admirer, the +Rev. Mr. Binny. He brought home numberless prizes and +testimonials of ability. He told his mother countless stories +every night about his school-companions: and what a +fine fellow Lyons was, and what a sneak Sniffin was, and +how Steel's father actually supplied the meat for the +establishment, whereas Golding's mother came in a +carriage to fetch him every Saturday, and how Neat had +straps to his trowsers--might he have straps?--and how +Bull Major was so strong (though only in Eutropius) that +it was believed he could lick the Usher, Mr. Ward, +himself. So Amelia learned to know every one of the boys +in that school as well as Georgy himself, and of nights +she used to help him in his exercises and puzzle her little +head over his lessons as eagerly as if she was herself +going in the morning into the presence of the master. +Once, after a certain combat with Master Smith, George +came home to his mother with a black eye, and bragged +prodigiously to his parent and his delighted old +grandfather about his valour in the fight, in which, if the +truth was known he did not behave with particular heroism, +and in which he decidedly had the worst. But Amelia +has never forgiven that Smith to this day, though he is +now a peaceful apothecary near Leicester Square. + +In these quiet labours and harmless cares the gentle +widow's life was passing away, a silver hair or two marking +the progress of time on her head and a line deepening +ever so little on her fair forehead. She used to smile at +these marks of time. "What matters it," she asked, "For +an old woman like me?" All she hoped for was to live to +see her son great, famous, and glorious, as he deserved +to be. She kept his copy-books, his drawings, and +compositions, and showed them about in her little circle as +if they were miracles of genius. She confided some of +these specimens to Miss Dobbin, to show them to Miss +Osborne, George's aunt, to show them to Mr. Osborne +himself--to make that old man repent of his cruelty and +ill feeling towards him who was gone. All her husband's +faults and foibles she had buried in the grave with him: +she only remembered the lover, who had married her at +all sacrifices, the noble husband, so brave and beautiful, +in whose arms she had hung on the morning when he had +gone away to fight, and die gloriously for his king. From +heaven the hero must be smiling down upon that paragon +of a boy whom he had left to comfort and console her. +We have seen how one of George's grandfathers (Mr. +Osborne), in his easy chair in Russell Square, daily grew +more violent and moody, and how his daughter, with her +fine carriage, and her fine horses, and her name on half +the public charity-lists of the town, was a lonely, miserable, persecuted old maid. She thought again and again +of the beautiful little boy, her brother's son, whom she +had seen. She longed to be allowed to drive in the fine +carriage to the house in which he lived, and she used +to look out day after day as she took her solitary drive +in the park, in hopes that she might see him. Her sister, +the banker's lady, occasionally condescended to pay her +old home and companion a visit in Russell Square. She +brought a couple of sickly children attended by a prim +nurse, and in a faint genteel giggling tone cackled to her +sister about her fine acquaintance, and how her little +Frederick was the image of Lord Claud Lollypop and +her sweet Maria had been noticed by the Baroness as they +were driving in their donkey-chaise at Roehampton. She +urged her to make her papa do something for the darlings. +Frederick she had determined should go into the Guards; +and if they made an elder son of him (and Mr. Bullock +was positively ruining and pinching himself to death to +buy land), how was the darling girl to be provided for? +"I expect YOU, dear," Mrs. Bullock would say, "for of +course my share of our Papa's property must go to the +head of the house, you know. Dear Rhoda McMull will +disengage the whole of the Castletoddy property as soon +as poor dear Lord Castletoddy dies, who is quite +epileptic; and little Macduff McMull will be Viscount +Castletoddy. Both the Mr. Bludyers of Mincing Lane have +settled their fortunes on Fanny Bludyer's little boy. My +darling Frederick must positively be an eldest son; and-- +and do ask Papa to bring us back his account in +Lombard Street, will you, dear? It doesn't look well, his going +to Stumpy and Rowdy's." After which kind of speeches, +in which fashion and the main chance were blended +together, and after a kiss, which was like the contact of an +oyster--Mrs. Frederick Bullock would gather her +starched nurslings and simper back into her carriage. + +Every visit which this leader of ton paid to her family +was more unlucky for her. Her father paid more money +into Stumpy and Rowdy's. Her patronage became more +and more insufferable. The poor widow in the little +cottage at Brompton, guarding her treasure there, little +knew how eagerly some people coveted it. + +On that night when Jane Osborne had told her father +that she had seen his grandson, the old man had made +her no reply, but he had shown no anger--and had bade +her good-night on going himself to his room in rather a +kindly voice. And he must have meditated on what she +said and have made some inquiries of the Dobbin family +regarding her visit, for a fortnight after it took place, he +asked her where was her little French watch and chain +she used to wear? + +"I bought it with my money, sir," she said in a great +fright. + +"Go and order another like it, or a better if you can +get it," said the old gentleman and lapsed again into +silence. + +Of late the Misses Dobbin more than once repeated +their entreaties to Amelia, to allow George to visit them. +His aunt had shown her inclination; perhaps his +grandfather himself, they hinted, might be disposed to be +reconciled to him. Surely, Amelia could not refuse such +advantageous chances for the boy. Nor could she, but +she acceded to their overtures with a very heavy and +suspicious heart, was always uneasy during the child's +absence from her, and welcomed him back as if he was +rescued out of some danger. He brought back money and +toys, at which the widow looked with alarm and jealousy; +she asked him always if he had seen any gentleman-- +"Only old Sir William, who drove him about in the four- +wheeled chaise, and Mr. Dobbin, who arrived on the +beautiful bay horse in the afternoon--in the green coat +and pink neck-cloth, with the gold-headed whip, who +promised to show him the Tower of London and take +him out with the Surrey hounds." At last, he said, "There +was an old gentleman, with thick eyebrows, and a broad +hat, and large chain and seals." He came one day as the +coachman was lunging Georgy round the lawn on the +gray pony. "He looked at me very much. He shook very +much. I said 'My name is Norval' after dinner. My aunt +began to cry. She is always crying." Such was George's +report on that night. + +Then Amelia knew that the boy had seen his +grandfather; and looked out feverishly for a proposal +which she was sure would follow, and which came, in fact, +in a few days afterwards. Mr. Osborne formally offered to +take the boy and make him heir to the fortune which he +had intended that his father should inherit. He would +make Mrs. George Osborne an allowance, such as to +assure her a decent competency. If Mrs. George Osborne +proposed to marry again, as Mr. O. heard was her +intention, he would not withdraw that allowance. But it +must be understood that the child would live entirely with +his grandfather in Russell Square, or at whatever other +place Mr. O. should select, and that he would be +occasionally permitted to see Mrs. George Osborne at her +own residence. This message was brought or read to her +in a letter one day, when her mother was from home +and her father absent as usual in the City. + +She was never seen angry but twice or thrice in her +life, and it was in one of these moods that Mr. Osborne's +attorney had the fortune to behold her. She rose up +trembling and flushing very much as soon as, after +reading the letter, Mr. Poe handed it to her, and she tore the +paper into a hundred fragments, which she trod on. "I +marry again! I take money to part from my child! Who +dares insult me by proposing such a thing? Tell Mr. +Osborne it is a cowardly letter, sir--a cowardly letter-- +I will not answer it. I wish you good morning, sir--and +she bowed me out of the room like a tragedy Queen," +said the lawyer who told the story. + +Her parents never remarked her agitation on that day, +and she never told them of the interview. They had their +own affairs to interest them, affairs which deeply +interested this innocent and unconscious lady. The old +gentleman, her father, was always dabbling in speculation. +We have seen how the wine company and the coal +company had failed him. But, prowling about the City +always eagerly and restlessly still, he lighted upon some +other scheme, of which he thought so well that he +embarked in it in spite of the remonstrances of Mr. Clapp, +to whom indeed he never dared to tell how far he had +engaged himself in it. And as it was always Mr. Sedley's +maxim not to talk about money matters before women, +they had no inkling of the misfortunes that were in store +for them until the unhappy old gentleman was forced to +make gradual confessions. + +The bills of the little household, which had been settled +weekly, first fell into arrear. The remittances had not +arrived from India, Mr. Sedley told his wife with a disturbed +face. As she had paid her bills very regularly hitherto, +one or two of the tradesmen to whom the poor lady was +obliged to go round asking for time were very angry at +a delay to which they were perfectly used from more +irregular customers. Emmy's contribution, paid over +cheerfully without any questions, kept the little company +in half-rations however. And the first six months passed +away pretty easily, old Sedley still keeping up with the +notion that his shares must rise and that all would be +well. + +No sixty pounds, however, came to help the household +at the end of the half year, and it fell deeper and deeper +into trouble--Mrs. Sedley, who was growing infirm and +was much shaken, remained silent or wept a great deal +with Mrs. Clapp in the kitchen. The butcher was +particularly surly, the grocer insolent: once or twice little +Georgy had grumbled about the dinners, and Amelia, who +still would have been satisfied with a slice of bread for +her own dinner, could not but perceive that her son was +neglected and purchased little things out of her private +purse to keep the boy in health. + +At last they told her, or told her such a garbled story +as people in difficulties tell. One day, her own money +having been received, and Amelia about to pay it over, +she, who had kept an account of the moneys expended +by her, proposed to keep a certain portion back out of +her dividend, having contracted engagements for a new +suit for Georgy. + +Then it came out that Jos's remittances were not paid, +that the house was in difficulties, which Amelia ought to +have seen before, her mother said, but she cared for +nothing or nobody except Georgy. At this she passed all +her money across the table, without a word, to her +mother, and returned to her room to cry her eyes out. +She had a great access of sensibility too that day, when +obliged to go and countermand the clothes, the darling +clothes on which she had set her heart for Christmas +Day, and the cut and fashion of which she had arranged +in many conversations with a small milliner, her friend. + +Hardest of all, she had to break the matter to Georgy, +who made a loud outcry. Everybody had new clothes at +Christmas. The others would laugh at him. He would +have new clothes. She had promised them to him. The +poor widow had only kisses to give him. She darned the +old suit in tears. She cast about among her little ornaments +to see if she could sell anything to procure the desired +novelties. There was her India shawl that Dobbin had +sent her. She remembered in former days going with her +mother to a fine India shop on Ludgate Hill, where the +ladies had all sorts of dealings and bargains in these +articles. Her cheeks flushed and her eyes shone with +pleasure as she thought of this resource, and she kissed +away George to school in the morning, smiling brightly +after him. The boy felt that there was good news in her +look. + +Packing up her shawl in a handkerchief (another of +the gifts of the good Major), she hid them under her +cloak and walked flushed and eager all the way to +Ludgate Hill, tripping along by the park wall and running +over the crossings, so that many a man turned as she +hurried by him and looked after her rosy pretty face. She +calculated how she should spend the proceeds of her +shawl--how, besides the clothes, she would buy the books +that he longed for, and pay his half-year's schooling; and +how she would buy a cloak for her father instead of +that old great-coat which he wore. She was not mistaken +as to the value of the Major's gift. It was a very fine and +beautiful web, and the merchant made a very good +bargain when he gave her twenty guineas for her shawl. + +She ran on amazed and flurried with her riches to +Darton's shop, in St. Paul's Churchyard, and there +purchased the Parents' Assistant and the Sandford and +Merton Georgy longed for, and got into the coach there +with her parcel, and went home exulting. And she pleased +herself by writing in the fly-leaf in her neatest little +hand, "George Osborne, A Christmas gift from his +affectionate-mother." The books are extant to this day, +with the fair delicate superscription. + +She was going from her own room with the books in +her hand to place them on George's table, where he +might find them on his return from school, when in +the passage, she and her mother met. The gilt bindings +of the seven handsome little volumes caught the old lady's +eye. + +"What are those?" she said. + +"Some books for Georgy," Amelia replied--I--I +promised them to him at Christmas." + +"Books!" cried the elder lady indignantly, "Books, +when the whole house wants bread! Books, when to keep +you and your son in luxury, and your dear father out of +gaol, I've sold every trinket I had, the India shawl from +my back even down to the very spoons, that our tradesmen +mightn't insult us, and that Mr. Clapp, which indeed +he is justly entitled, being not a hard landlord, and a +civil man, and a father, might have his rent. Oh, Amelia! +you break my heart with your books and that boy of +yours, whom you are ruining, though part with him you +will not. Oh, Amelia, may God send you a more dutiful +child than I have had! There's Jos, deserts his father in +his old age; and there's George, who might be provided +for, and who might be rich, going to school like a lord, +with a gold watch and chain round his neck--while my +dear, dear old man is without a sh--shilling." Hysteric +sobs and cries ended Mrs. Sedley's speech--it echoed +through every room in the small house, whereof the other +female inmates heard every word of the colloquy. + +"Oh, Mother, Mother!" cried poor Amelia in reply. +"You told me nothing--I--I promised him the books. +I--I only sold my shawl this morning. Take the money +--take everything"--and with quivering hands she took +out her silver, and her sovereigns--her precious golden +sovereigns, which she thrust into the hands of her +mother, whence they overflowed and tumbled, rolling +down the stairs. + +And then she went into her room, and sank down in +despair and utter misery. She saw it all now. Her +selfishness was sacrificing the boy. But for her he might have +wealth, station, education, and his father's place, which +the elder George had forfeited for her sake. She had but +to speak the words, and her father was restored to +competency and the boy raised to fortune. Oh, what a +conviction it was to that tender and stricken heart! + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII + + +Gaunt House + +All the world knows that Lord Steyne's town palace +stands in Gaunt Square, out of which Great Gaunt Street +leads, whither we first conducted Rebecca, in the time +of the departed Sir Pitt Crawley. Peering over the railings +and through the black trees into the garden of the +Square, you see a few miserable governesses with +wan-faced pupils wandering round and round it, and round +the dreary grass-plot in the centre of which rises the +statue of Lord Gaunt, who fought at Minden, in a +three-tailed wig, and otherwise habited like a Roman +Emperor. Gaunt House occupies nearly a side of the Square. +The remaining three sides are composed of mansions that +have passed away into dowagerism--tall, dark houses, +with window-frames of stone, or picked out of a lighter +red. Little light seems to be behind those lean, +comfortless casements now, and hospitality to have passed +away from those doors as much as the laced lacqueys +and link-boys of old times, who used to put out their +torches in the blank iron extinguishers that still flank the +lamps over the steps. Brass plates have penetrated into +the square--Doctors, the Diddlesex Bank Western +Branch--the English and European Reunion, &c.--it has +a dreary look--nor is my Lord Steyne's palace less +dreary. All I have ever seen of it is the vast wall in +front, with the rustic columns at the great gate, through +which an old porter peers sometimes with a fat and +gloomy red face--and over the wall the garret and +bedroom windows, and the chimneys, out of which there +seldom comes any smoke now. For the present Lord +Steyne lives at Naples, preferring the view of the Bay +and Capri and Vesuvius to the dreary aspect of the wall +in Gaunt Square. + +A few score yards down New Gaunt Street, and leading +into Gaunt Mews indeed, is a little modest back +door, which you would not remark from that of any of +the other stables. But many a little close carriage has +stopped at that door, as my informant (little Tom Eaves, +who knows everything, and who showed me the place) +told me. "The Prince and Perdita have been in and out +of that door, sir," he had often told me; "Marianne +Clarke has entered it with the Duke of --. It conducts +to the famous petits appartements of Lord Steyne--one, +sir, fitted up all in ivory and white satin, another in +ebony and black velvet; there is a little banqueting-room +taken from Sallust's house at Pompeii, and painted by +Cosway--a little private kitchen, in which every saucepan +was silver and all the spits were gold. It was there +that Egalite Orleans roasted partridges on the night +when he and the Marquis of Steyne won a hundred +thousand from a great personage at ombre. Half of the +money went to the French Revolution, half to purchase +Lord Gaunt's Marquisate and Garter--and the +remainder--" but it forms no part of our scheme to tell +what became of the remainder, for every shilling of +which, and a great deal more, little Tom Eaves, who +knows everybody's affairs, is ready to account. + +Besides his town palace, the Marquis had castles and +palaces in various quarters of the three kingdoms, +whereof the descriptions may be found in the road-books +--Castle Strongbow, with its woods, on the Shannon +shore; Gaunt Castle, in Carmarthenshire, where Richard +II was taken prisoner--Gauntly Hall in Yorkshire, where +I have been informed there were two hundred silver +teapots for the breakfasts of the guests of the house, with +everything to correspond in splendour; and Stillbrook in +Hampshire, which was my lord's farm, an humble place +of residence, of which we all remember the wonderful +furniture which was sold at my lord's demise by a late +celebrated auctioneer. + +The Marchioness of Steyne was of the renowned and +ancient family of the Caerlyons, Marquises of Camelot, +who have preserved the old faith ever since the +conversion of the venerable Druid, their first ancestor, and +whose pedigree goes far beyond the date of the arrival of +King Brute in these islands. Pendragon is the title of the +eldest son of the house. The sons have been called +Arthurs, Uthers, and Caradocs, from immemorial time. +Their heads have fallen in many a loyal conspiracy. +Elizabeth chopped off the head of the Arthur of her day, +who had been Chamberlain to Philip and Mary, and +carried letters between the Queen of Scots and her uncles +the Guises. A cadet of the house was an officer of the +great Duke and distinguished in the famous Saint +Bartholomew conspiracy. During the whole of Mary's +confinement, the house of Camelot conspired in her behalf. +It was as much injured by its charges in fitting out an +armament against the Spaniards, during the time of the +Armada, as by the fines and confiscations levied on it +by Elizabeth for harbouring of priests, obstinate +recusancy, and popish misdoings. A recreant of James's time +was momentarily perverted from his religion by the +arguments of that great theologian, and the fortunes of the +family somewhat restored by his timely weakness. But +the Earl of Camelot, of the reign of Charles, returned to +the old creed of his family, and they continued to fight +for it, and ruin themselves for it, as long as there was a +Stuart left to head or to instigate a rebellion. + +Lady Mary Caerlyon was brought up at a Parisian +convent; the Dauphiness Marie Antoinette was her +godmother. In the pride of her beauty she had been +married--sold, it was said--to Lord Gaunt, then at Paris, +who won vast sums from the lady's brother at some of +Philip of Orleans's banquets. The Earl of Gaunt's famous +duel with the Count de la Marche, of the Grey +Musqueteers, was attributed by common report to the +pretensions of that officer (who had been a page, and +remained a favourite of the Queen) to the hand of the +beautiful Lady Mary Caerlyon. She was married to Lord +Gaunt while the Count lay ill of his wound, and came to +dwell at Gaunt House, and to figure for a short time in +the splendid Court of the Prince of Wales. Fox had +toasted her. Morris and Sheridan had written songs about +her. Malmesbury had made her his best bow; Walpole +had pronounced her charming; Devonshire had been +almost jealous of her; but she was scared by the wild +pleasures and gaieties of the society into which she was +flung, and after she had borne a couple of sons, shrank +away into a life of devout seclusion. No wonder that +my Lord Steyne, who liked pleasure and cheerfulness, +was not often seen after their marriage by the side of +this trembling, silent, superstitious, unhappy lady. + +The before-mentioned Tom Eaves (who has no part +in this history, except that he knew all the great folks in +London, and the stories and mysteries of each family) +had further information regarding my Lady Steyne, +which may or may not be true. "The humiliations," Tom +used to say, "which that woman has been made to +undergo, in her own house, have been frightful; Lord +Steyne has made her sit down to table with women with +whom I would rather die than allow Mrs. Eaves to +associate--with Lady Crackenbury, with Mrs. Chippenham, +with Madame de la Cruchecassee, the French secretary's +wife (from every one of which ladies Tom Eaves-- +who would have sacrificed his wife for knowing them-- +was too glad to get a bow or a dinner) with the REIGNING +FAVOURITE in a word. And do you suppose that that +woman, of that family, who are as proud as the Bourbons, +and to whom the Steynes are but lackeys, mushrooms of +yesterday (for after all, they are not of the Old Gaunts, +but of a minor and doubtful branch of the house); do +you suppose, I say (the reader must bear in mind that +it is always Tom Eaves who speaks) that the Marchioness +of Steyne, the haughtiest woman in England, would +bend down to her husband so submissively if there were +not some cause? Pooh! I tell you there are secret reasons. +I tell you that, in the emigration, the Abbe de la +Marche who was here and was employed in the +Quiberoon business with Puisaye and Tinteniac, was the +same Colonel of Mousquetaires Gris with whom Steyne +fought in the year '86--that he and the Marchioness met +again--that it was after the Reverend Colonel was shot +in Brittany that Lady Steyne took to those extreme +practices of devotion which she carries on now; for she is +closeted with her director every day--she is at service +at Spanish Place, every morning, I've watched her there +--that is, I've happened to be passing there--and +depend on it, there's a mystery in her case. People are not +so unhappy unless they have something to repent of," +added Tom Eaves with a knowing wag of his head; "and +depend on it, that woman would not be so submissive +as she is if the Marquis had not some sword to hold +over her." + +So, if Mr. Eaves's information be correct, it is very +likely that this lady, in her high station, had to submit +to many a private indignity and to hide many secret +griefs under a calm face. And let us, my brethren who +have not our names in the Red Book, console ourselves +by thinking comfortably how miserable our betters may +be, and that Damocles, who sits on satin cushions and +is served on gold plate, has an awful sword hanging +over his head in the shape of a bailiff, or an hereditary +disease, or a family secret, which peeps out every now +and then from the embroidered arras in a ghastly +manner, and will be sure to drop one day or the other in the +right place. + +In comparing, too, the poor man's situation with that +of the great, there is (always according to Mr. Eaves) +another source of comfort for the former. You who have +little or no patrimony to bequeath or to inherit, may be +on good terms with your father or your son, whereas the +heir of a great prince, such as my Lord Steyne, must +naturally be angry at being kept out of his kingdom, and +eye the occupant of it with no very agreeable glances. +"Take it as a rule," this sardonic old Laves would say, +"the fathers and elder sons of all great families hate each +other. The Crown Prince is always in opposition to the +crown or hankering after it. Shakespeare knew the world, +my good sir, and when he describes Prince Hal (from +whose family the Gaunts pretend to be descended, though +they are no more related to John of Gaunt than you are) +trying on his father's coronet, he gives you a natural +description of all heirs apparent. If you were heir to a +dukedom and a thousand pounds a day, do you mean to +say you would not wish for possession? Pooh! And it +stands to reason that every great man, having experienced +this feeling towards his father, must be aware that his +son entertains it towards himself; and so they can't but +be suspicious and hostile. + +"Then again, as to the feeling of elder towards younger +sons. My dear sir, you ought to know that every elder +brother looks upon the cadets of the house as his natural +enemies, who deprive him of so much ready money which +ought to be his by right. I have often heard George Mac +Turk, Lord Bajazet's eldest son, say that if he had his +will when he came to the title, he would do what the +sultans do, and clear the estate by chopping off all his +younger brothers' heads at once; and so the case is, +more or less, with them all. I tell you they are all Turks +in their hearts. Pooh! sir, they know the world." And +here, haply, a great man coming up, Tom Eaves's hat +would drop off his head, and he would rush forward with +a bow and a grin, which showed that he knew the world +too--in the Tomeavesian way, that is. And having laid +out every shilling of his fortune on an annuity, Tom +could afford to bear no malice to his nephews and nieces, +and to have no other feeling with regard to his betters +but a constant and generous desire to dine with them. + +Between the Marchioness and the natural and tender +regard of mother for children, there was that cruel +barrier placed of difference of faith. The very love which she +might feel for her sons only served to render the timid +and pious lady more fearful and unhappy. The gulf which +separated them was fatal and impassable. She could not +stretch her weak arms across it, or draw her children +over to that side away from which her belief told her +there was no safety. During the youth of his sons, Lord +Steyne, who was a good scholar and amateur casuist, +had no better sport in the evening after dinner in the +country than in setting the boys' tutor, the Reverend +Mr. Trail (now my Lord Bishop of Ealing) on her +ladyship's director, Father Mole, over their wine, and in +pitting Oxford against St. Acheul. He cried "Bravo, +Latimer! Well said, Loyola!" alternately; he promised +Mole a bishopric if he would come over, and vowed he +would use all his influence to get Trail a cardinal's hat +if he would secede. Neither divine allowed himself to be +conquered, and though the fond mother hoped that her +youngest and favourite son would be reconciled to her +church--his mother church--a sad and awful disappointment +awaited the devout lady--a disappointment which +seemed to be a judgement upon her for the sin of her +marriage. + +My Lord Gaunt married, as every person who frequents +the Peerage knows, the Lady Blanche Thistlewood, +a daughter of the noble house of Bareacres, before +mentioned in this veracious history. A wing of +Gaunt House was assigned to this couple; for the head +of the family chose to govern it, and while he reigned to +reign supreme; his son and heir, however, living little at +home, disagreeing with his wife, and borrowing upon +post-obits such moneys as he required beyond the very +moderate sums which his father was disposed to allow +him. The Marquis knew every shilling of his son's debts. +At his lamented demise, he was found himself to be +possessor of many of his heir's bonds, purchased for their +benefit, and devised by his Lordship to the children of +his younger son. + +As, to my Lord Gaunt's dismay, and the chuckling +delight of his natural enemy and father, the Lady Gaunt +had no children--the Lord George Gaunt was desired to +return from Vienna, where he was engaged in waltzing +and diplomacy, and to contract a matrimonial alliance +with the Honourable Joan, only daughter of John Johnes, +First Baron Helvellyn, and head of the firm of Jones, +Brown, and Robinson, of Threadneedle Street, Bankers; +from which union sprang several sons and daughters, +whose doings do not appertain to this story. + +The marriage at first was a happy and prosperous one. +My Lord George Gaunt could not only read, but write +pretty correctly. He spoke French with considerable +fluency; and was one of the finest waltzers in Europe. With +these talents, and his interest at home, there was little +doubt that his lordship would rise to the highest dignities +in his profession. The lady, his wife, felt that courts were +her sphere, and her wealth enabled her to receive +splendidly in those continental towns whither her husband's +diplomatic duties led him. There was talk of appointing +him minister, and bets were laid at the Travellers' that +he would be ambassador ere long, when of a sudden, +rumours arrived of the secretary's extraordinary behaviour. +At a grand diplomatic dinner given by his chief, he +had started up and declared that a pate de foie gras was +poisoned. He went to a ball at the hotel of the Bavarian +envoy, the Count de Springbock-Hohenlaufen, with his +head shaved and dressed as a Capuchin friar. It was not +a masked ball, as some folks wanted to persuade you. It +was something queer, people whispered. His grandfather +was so. It was in the family. + +His wife and family returned to this country and took +up their abode at Gaunt House. Lord George gave up +his post on the European continent, and was gazetted to +Brazil. But people knew better; he never returned from +that Brazil expedition--never died there--never lived +there--never was there at all. He was nowhere; he was +gone out altogether. "Brazil," said one gossip to another, +with a grin--"Brazil is St. John's Wood. Rio de Janeiro +is a cottage surrounded by four walls, and George Gaunt +is accredited to a keeper, who has invested him with the +order of the Strait-Waistcoat." These are the kinds of +epitaphs which men pass over one another in Vanity +Fair. + +Twice or thrice in a week, in the earliest morning, the +poor mother went for her sins and saw the poor invalid. +Sometimes he laughed at her (and his laughter was more +pitiful than to hear him cry); sometimes she found the +brilliant dandy diplomatist of the Congress of Vienna +dragging about a child's toy, or nursing the keeper's +baby's doll. Sometimes he knew her and Father Mole, +her director and companion; oftener he forgot her, as he +had done wife, children, love, ambition, vanity. But he +remembered his dinner-hour, and used to cry if his +wine-and-water was not strong enough. + +It was the mysterious taint of the blood; the poor +mother had brought it from her own ancient race. The +evil had broken out once or twice in the father's family, +long before Lady Steyne's sins had begun, or her fasts +and tears and penances had been offered in their +expiation. The pride of the race was struck down as the +first-born of Pharaoh. The dark mark of fate and doom was +on the threshold--the tall old threshold surmounted by +coronets and caned heraldry. + +The absent lord's children meanwhile prattled and +grew on quite unconscious that the doom was over them +too. First they talked of their father and devised plans +against his return. Then the name of the living dead man +was less frequently in their mouth--then not mentioned +at all. But the stricken old grandmother trembled to think +that these too were the inheritors of their father's shame +as well as of his honours, and watched sickening for the +day when the awful ancestral curse should come down +on them. + +This dark presentiment also haunted Lord Steyne. He +tried to lay the horrid bedside ghost in Red Seas of wine +and jollity, and lost sight of it sometimes in the crowd +and rout of his pleasures. But it always came back to +him when alone, and seemed to grow more threatening +with years. "I have taken your son," it said, "why not +you? I may shut you up in a prison some day like your +son George. I may tap you on the head to-morrow, and +away go pleasure and honours, feasts and beauty, friends, +flatterers, French cooks, fine horses and houses--in +exchange for a prison, a keeper, and a straw mattress like +George Gaunt's." And then my lord would defy the ghost +which threatened him, for he knew of a remedy by which +he could baulk his enemy. + +So there was splendour and wealth, but no great +happiness perchance, behind the tall caned portals of Gaunt +House with its smoky coronets and ciphers. The feasts +there were of the grandest in London, but there was not +overmuch content therewith, except among the guests +who sat at my lord's table. Had he not been so great a +Prince very few possibly would have visited him; but in +Vanity Fair the sins of very great personages are looked +at indulgently. "Nous regardons a deux fois" (as the +French lady said) before we condemn a person of my +lord's undoubted quality. Some notorious carpers and +squeamish moralists might be sulky with Lord Steyne, +but they were glad enough to come when he asked them. + +"Lord Steyne is really too bad," Lady Slingstone said, +"but everybody goes, and of course I shall see that my +girls come to no harm." "His lordship is a man to whom +I owe much, everything in life," said the Right Reverend +Doctor Trail, thinking that the Archbishop was rather +shaky, and Mrs. Trail and the young ladies would as +soon have missed going to church as to one of his +lordship's parties. "His morals are bad," said little Lord +Southdown to his sister, who meekly expostulated, +having heard terrific legends from her mamma with respect +to the doings at Gaunt House; "but hang it, he's got the +best dry Sillery in Europe!" And as for Sir Pitt Crawley, +Bart.--Sir Pitt that pattern of decorum, Sir Pitt who +had led off at missionary meetings--he never for one +moment thought of not going too. "Where you see such +persons as the Bishop of Ealing and the Countess of +Slingstone, you may be pretty sure, Jane," the Baronet +would say, "that we cannot be wrong. The great rank +and station of Lord Steyne put him in a position to +command people in our station in life. The Lord Lieutenant +of a County, my dear, is a respectable man. Besides, +George Gaunt and I were intimate in early life; he was +my junior when we were attaches at Pumpernickel +together." + +In a word everybody went to wait upon this great man +--everybody who was asked, as you the reader (do not +say nay) or I the writer hereof would go if we had an +invitation. + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII + + +In Which the Reader Is Introduced to the Very +Best of Company + +At last Becky's kindness and attention to the chief of +her husband's family were destined to meet with an +exceeding great reward, a reward which, though certainly +somewhat unsubstantial, the little woman coveted with +greater eagerness than more positive benefits. If she did +not wish to lead a virtuous life, at least she desired to +enjoy a character for virtue, and we know that no lady +in the genteel world can possess this desideratum, until +she has put on a train and feathers and has been +presented to her Sovereign at Court. From that august +interview they come out stamped as honest women. The +Lord Chamberlain gives them a certificate of virtue. And +as dubious goods or letters are passed through an oven +at quarantine, sprinkled with aromatic vinegar, and then +pronounced clean, many a lady, whose reputation would +be doubtful otherwise and liable to give infection, passes +through the wholesome ordeal of the Royal presence and +issues from it free from all taint. + +It might be very well for my Lady Bareacres, my +Lady Tufto, Mrs. Bute Crawley in the country, and other +ladies who had come into contact with Mrs. Rawdon +Crawley to cry fie at the idea of the odious little +adventuress making her curtsey before the Sovereign, and +to declare that, if dear good Queen Charlotte had been +alive, she never would have admitted such an extremely +ill-regulated personage into her chaste drawing-room. But +when we consider that it was the First Gentleman in +Europe in whose high presence Mrs. Rawdon passed her +examination, and as it were, took her degree in reputation, +it surely must be flat disloyalty to doubt any more +about her virtue. I, for my part, look back with love and +awe to that Great Character in history. Ah, what a high +and noble appreciation of Gentlewomanhood there must +have been in Vanity Fair, when that revered and august +being was invested, by the universal acclaim of the +refined and educated portion of this empire, with the title +of Premier Gentilhomme of his Kingdom. Do you +remember, dear M--, oh friend of my youth, how one +blissful night five-and-twenty years since, the "Hypocrite" +being acted, Elliston being manager, Dowton and Liston +performers, two boys had leave from their loyal masters +to go out from Slaughter-House School where they were +educated and to appear on Drury Lane stage, amongst a +crowd which assembled there to greet the king. THE +KING? There he was. Beefeaters were before the +august box; the Marquis of Steyne (Lord of the Powder +Closet) and other great officers of state were behind the +chair on which he sat, HE sat--florid of face, portly of +person, covered with orders, and in a rich curling head of +hair--how we sang God save him! How the house rocked +and shouted with that magnificent music. How they +cheered, and cried, and waved handkerchiefs. Ladies +wept; mothers clasped their children; some fainted with +emotion. People were suffocated in the pit, shrieks and +groans rising up amidst the writhing and shouting mass +there of his people who were, and indeed showed them- +selves almost to be, ready to die for him. Yes, we saw +him. Fate cannot deprive us of THAT. Others have seen +Napoleon. Some few still exist who have beheld Frederick +the Great, Doctor Johnson, Marie Antoinette, &c.--be it +our reasonable boast to our children, that we saw George +the Good, the Magnificent, the Great. + +Well, there came a happy day in Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's +existence when this angel was admitted into the +paradise of a Court which she coveted, her sister-in-law +acting as her godmother. On the appointed day, Sir Pitt +and his lady, in their great family carriage (just newly +built, and ready for the Baronet's assumption of the +office of High Sheriff of his county), drove up to the little +house in Curzon Street, to the edification of Raggles, who +was watching from his greengrocer's shop, and saw fine +plumes within, and enormous bunches of flowers in the +breasts of the new livery-coats of the footmen. + +Sir Pitt, in a glittering uniform, descended and went +into Curzon Street, his sword between his legs. Little +Rawdon stood with his face against the parlour window- +panes, smiling and nodding with all his might to his aunt +in the carriage within; and presently Sir Pitt issued forth +from the house again, leading forth a lady with grand +feathers, covered in a white shawl, and holding up +daintily a train of magnificent brocade. She stepped into the +vehicle as if she were a princess and accustomed all her +life to go to Court, smiling graciously on the footman at +the door and on Sir Pitt, who followed her into the +carriage. + +Then Rawdon followed in his old Guards' uniform, +which had grown woefully shabby, and was much too +tight. He was to have followed the procession and waited +upon his sovereign in a cab, but that his good-natured +sister-in-law insisted that they should be a family party. +The coach was large, the ladies not very big, they would +hold their trains in their laps--finally, the four went +fraternally together, and their carriage presently joined +the line of royal equipages which was making its way +down Piccadilly and St. James's Street, towards the old +brick palace where the Star of Brunswick was in waiting +to receive his nobles and gentlefolks. + +Becky felt as if she could bless the people out of the +carriage windows, so elated was she in spirit, and so +strong a sense had she of the dignified position which +she had at last attained in life. Even our Becky had her +weaknesses, and as one often sees how men pride +themselves upon excellences which others are slow to +perceive: how, for instance, Comus firmly believes that he +is the greatest tragic actor in England; how Brown, the +famous novelist, longs to be considered, not a man of +genius, but a man of fashion; while Robinson, the great +lawyer, does not in the least care about his reputation in +Westminster Hall, but believes himself incomparable +across country and at a five-barred gate--so to be, and +to be thought, a respectable woman was Becky's aim in +life, and she got up the genteel with amazing assiduity, +readiness, and success. We have said, there were times +when she believed herself to be a fine lady and forgot +that there was no money in the chest at home--duns +round the gate, tradesmen to coax and wheedle--no +ground to walk upon, in a word. And as she went to +Court in the carriage, the family carriage, she adopted a +demeanour so grand, self-satisfied, deliberate, and +imposing that it made even Lady Jane laugh. She walked +into the royal apartments with a toss of the head which +would have befitted an empress, and I have no doubt had +she been one, she would have become the character +perfectly. + +We are authorized to state that Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's +costume de cour on the occasion of her presentation +to the Sovereign was of the most elegant and brilliant +description. Some ladies we may have seen--we +who wear stars and cordons and attend the St. James's +assemblies, or we, who, in muddy boots, dawdle up and +down Pall Mall and peep into the coaches as they drive +up with the great folks in their feathers--some ladies of +fashion, I say, we may have seen, about two o'clock of +the forenoon of a levee day, as the laced-jacketed band +of the Life Guards are blowing triumphal marches seated +on those prancing music-stools, their cream-coloured +chargers--who are by no means lovely and enticing +objects at that early period of noon. A stout countess of +sixty, decolletee, painted, wrinkled with rouge up to her +drooping eyelids, and diamonds twinkling in her wig, is a +wholesome and edifying, but not a pleasant sight. She +has the faded look of a St. James's Street illumination, as +it may be seen of an early morning, when half the lamps +are out, and the others are blinking wanly, as if they +were about to vanish like ghosts before the dawn. Such +charms as those of which we catch glimpses while her +ladyship's carriage passes should appear abroad at night +alone. If even Cynthia looks haggard of an afternoon, as +we may see her sometimes in the present winter season, +with Phoebus staring her out of countenance from the +opposite side of the heavens, how much more can old +Lady Castlemouldy keep her head up when the sun is +shining full upon it through the chariot windows, and +showing all the chinks and crannies with which time has +marked her face! No. Drawing-rooms should be +announced for November, or the first foggy day, or the +elderly sultanas of our Vanity Fair should drive up in +closed litters, descend in a covered way, and make their +curtsey to the Sovereign under the protection of lamplight. + +Our beloved Rebecca had no need, however, of any +such a friendly halo to set off her beauty. Her complexion +could bear any sunshine as yet, and her dress, though if +you were to see it now, any present lady of Vanity Fair +would pronounce it to be the most foolish and preposterous +attire ever worn, was as handsome in her eyes +and those of the public, some five-and-twenty years since, +as the most brilliant costume of the most famous beauty +of the present season. A score of years hence that too, +that milliner's wonder, will have passed into the domain +of the absurd, along with all previous vanities. But we +are wandering too much. Mrs. Rawdon's dress was +pronounced to be charmante on the eventful day of her +presentation. Even good little Lady Jane was forced to +acknowledge this effect, as she looked at her kinswoman, +and owned sorrowfully to herself that she was quite +inferior in taste to Mrs. Becky. + +She did not know how much care, thought, and genius +Mrs. Rawdon had bestowed upon that garment. Rebecca +had as good taste as any milliner in Europe, and such a +clever way of doing things as Lady Jane little understood. +The latter quickly spied out the magnificence of the +brocade of Becky's train, and the splendour of the lace on +her dress. + +The brocade was an old remnant, Becky said; and as +for the lace, it was a great bargain. She had had it these +hundred years. + +"My dear Mrs. Crawley, it must have cost a little +fortune," Lady Jane said, looking down at her own lace, +which was not nearly so good; and then examining the +quality of the ancient brocade which formed the +material of Mrs. Rawdon's Court dress, she felt inclined to +say that she could not afford such fine clothing, but +checked that speech, with an effort, as one uncharitable +to her kinswoman. + +And yet, if Lady Jane had known all, I think even her +kindly temper would have failed her. The fact is, when +she was putting Sir Pitt's house in order, Mrs. Rawdon +had found the lace and the brocade in old wardrobes, +the property of the former ladies of the house, and had +quietly carried the goods home, and had suited them to +her own little person. Briggs saw her take them, asked +no questions, told no stories; but I believe quite +sympathised with her on this matter, and so would +many another honest woman. + +And the diamonds--"Where the doose did you get the +diamonds, Becky?" said her husband, admiring some +jewels which he had never seen before and which sparkled +in her ears and on her neck with brilliance and profusion. + +Becky blushed a little and looked at him hard for a +moment. Pitt Crawley blushed a little too, and looked +out of window. The fact is, he had given her a very +small portion of the brilliants; a pretty diamond clasp, +which confined a pearl necklace which she wore- and the +Baronet had omitted to mention the circumstance to +his lady. + +Becky looked at her husband, and then at Sir Pitt, +with an air of saucy triumph--as much as to say, "Shall +I betray you?" + +"Guess!" she said to her husband. "Why, you silly +man," she continued, "where do you suppose I got them? +--all except the little clasp, which a dear friend of mine +gave me long ago. I hired them, to be sure. I hired them +at Mr. Polonius's, in Coventry Street. You don't suppose +that all the diamonds which go to Court belong to the +wearers; like those beautiful stones which Lady Jane has, +and which are much handsomer than any which I have, +I am certain." + +"They are family jewels," said Sir Pitt, again looking +uneasy. And in this family conversation the carriage +rolled down the street, until its cargo was finally +discharged at the gates of the palace where the Sovereign +was sitting in state. + +The diamonds, which had created Rawdon's admiration, +never went back to Mr. Polonius, of Coventry Street, and +that gentleman never applied for their restoration, but +they retired into a little private repository, in an old desk, +which Amelia Sedley had given her years and years ago, +and in which Becky kept a number of useful and, +perhaps, valuable things, about which her husband +knew nothing. To know nothing, or little, is in the +nature of some husbands. To hide, in the nature of how +many women? Oh, ladies! how many of you have +surreptitious milliners' bills? How many of you have gowns +and bracelets which you daren't show, or which you wear +trembling?--trembling, and coaxing with smiles the +husband by your side, who does not know the new velvet +gown from the old one, or the new bracelet from last +year's, or has any notion that the ragged-looking yellow +lace scarf cost forty guineas and that Madame Bobinot is +writing dunning letters every week for the money! + +Thus Rawdon knew nothing about the brilliant diamond +ear-rings, or the superb brilliant ornament which +decorated the fair bosom of his lady; but Lord Steyne, +who was in his place at Court, as Lord of the Powder +Closet, and one of the great dignitaries and illustrious +defences of the throne of England, and came up with all +his stars, garters, collars, and cordons, and paid particular +attention to the little woman, knew whence the jewels +came and who paid for them. + +As he bowed over her he smiled, and quoted the +hackneyed and beautiful lines from The Rape of the Lock +about Belinda's diamonds, "which Jews might kiss and +infidels adore." + +"But I hope your lordship is orthodox," said the little +lady with a toss of her head. And many ladies round +about whispered and talked, and many gentlemen nodded +and whispered, as they saw what marked attention the +great nobleman was paying to the little adventuress. + +What were the circumstances of the interview between +Rebecca Crawley, nee Sharp, and her Imperial Master, +it does not become such a feeble and inexperienced pen +as mine to attempt to relate. The dazzled eyes close +before that Magnificent Idea. Loyal respect and decency tell +even the imagination not to look too keenly and audaciously +about the sacred audience-chamber, but to back away +rapidly, silently, and respectfully, making profound +bows out of the August Presence. + +This may be said, that in all London there was no +more loyal heart than Becky's after this interview. The +name of her king was always on her lips, and he was +proclaimed by her to be the most charming of men. She +went to Colnaghi's and ordered the finest portrait of him +that art had produced, and credit could supply. She chose +that famous one in which the best of monarchs is +represented in a frock-coat with a fur collar, and breeches +and silk stockings, simpering on a sofa from under his +curly brown wig. She had him painted in a brooch and +wore it--indeed she amused and somewhat pestered her +acquaintance with her perpetual talk about his urbanity +and beauty. Who knows! Perhaps the little woman +thought she might play the part of a Maintenon or a +Pompadour. + +But the finest sport of all after her presentation was to +hear her talk virtuously. She had a few female acquaintances, +not, it must be owned, of the very highest reputation +in Vanity Fair. But being made an honest woman of, +so to speak, Becky would not consort any longer with +these dubious ones, and cut Lady Crackenbury when the +latter nodded to her from her opera-box, and gave Mrs. +Washington White the go-by in the Ring. "One must, my +dear, show one is somebody," she said. "One mustn't be +seen with doubtful people. I pity Lady Crackenbury from +my heart, and Mrs. Washington White may be a very +good-natured person. YOU may go and dine with them, +as you like your rubber. But I mustn't, and won't; and +you will have the goodness to tell Smith to say I am not +at home when either of them calls." + +The particulars of Becky's costume were in the newspapers +--feathers, lappets, superb diamonds, and all the +rest. Lady Crackenbury read the paragraph in bitterness +of spirit and discoursed to her followers about the airs +which that woman was giving herself. Mrs. Bute Crawley +and her young ladies in the country had a copy of the +Morning Post from town, and gave a vent to their honest +indignation. "If you had been sandy-haired, green-eyed, +and a French rope-dancer's daughter," Mrs. Bute said +to her eldest girl (who, on the contrary, was a very +swarthy, short, and snub-nosed young lady), "You might +have had superb diamonds forsooth, and have been +presented at Court by your cousin, the Lady Jane. But you're +only a gentlewoman, my poor dear child. You have only +some of the best blood in England in your veins, and +good principles and piety for your portion. I, myself, +the wife of a Baronet's younger brother, too, never +thought of such a thing as going to Court--nor would +other people, if good Queen Charlotte had been alive." +In this way the worthy Rectoress consoled herself, and +her daughters sighed and sat over the Peerage all night. + +A few days after the famous presentation, another +great and exceeding honour was vouchsafed to the +virtuous Becky. Lady Steyne's carriage drove up to Mr. +Rawdon Crawley's door, and the footman, instead of driving +down the front of the house, as by his tremendous +knocking he appeared to be inclined to do, relented and only +delivered in a couple of cards, on which were engraven +the names of the Marchioness of Steyne and the +Countess of Gaunt. If these bits of pasteboard had been +beautiful pictures, or had had a hundred yards of Malines lace +rolled round them, worth twice the number of guineas, +Becky could not have regarded them with more pleasure. +You may be sure they occupied a conspicuous place in +the china bowl on the drawing-room table, where Becky +kept the cards of her visitors. Lord! lord! how poor +Mrs. Washington White's card and Lady Crackenbury's +card--which our little friend had been glad enough to +get a few months back, and of which the silly little +creature was rather proud once--Lord! lord! I say, how soon +at the appearance of these grand court cards, did those +poor little neglected deuces sink down to the bottom of +the pack. Steyne! Bareacres, Johnes of Helvellyn! and +Caerylon of Camelot! we may be sure that Becky and +Briggs looked out those august names in the Peerage, +and followed the noble races up through all the +ramifications of the family tree. + +My Lord Steyne coming to call a couple of hours +afterwards, and looking about him, and observing +everything as was his wont, found his ladies' cards already +ranged as the trumps of Becky's hand, and grinned, as +this old cynic always did at any naive display of human +weakness. Becky came down to him presently; whenever +the dear girl expected his lordship, her toilette was +prepared, her hair in perfect order, her mouchoirs, aprons, +scarfs, little morocco slippers, and other female +gimcracks arranged, and she seated in some artless and +agreeable posture ready to receive him--whenever she +was surprised, of course, she had to fly to her apartment +to take a rapid survey of matters in the glass, and +to trip down again to wait upon the great peer. + +She found him grinning over the bowl. She was +discovered, and she blushed a little. "Thank you, +Monseigneur," she said. "You see your ladies have +been here. How good of you! I couldn't come before +--I was in the kitchen making a pudding." + +"I know you were, I saw you through the area-railings +as I drove up," replied the old gentleman. + +"You see everything," she replied. + +"A few things, but not that, my pretty lady," he said +good-naturedly. "You silly little fibster! I heard you in +the room overhead, where I have no doubt you were +putting a little rouge on--you must give some of yours to +my Lady Gaunt, whose complexion is quite preposterous +--and I heard the bedroom door open, and then you +came downstairs." + +"Is it a crime to try and look my best when YOU come +here?" answered Mrs. Rawdon plaintively, and she rubbed +her cheek with her handkerchief as if to show there was +no rouge at all, only genuine blushes and modesty in her +case. About this who can tell? I know there is some +rouge that won't come off on a pocket-handkerchief, +and some so good that even tears will not disturb it. + +"Well," said the old gentleman, twiddling round his +wife's card, "you are bent on becoming a fine lady. +You pester my poor old life out to get you into the +world. You won't be able to hold your own there, you +silly little fool. You've got no money." + +"You will get us a place," interposed Becky, "as quick +as possible." + +"You've got no money, and you want to compete with +those who have. You poor little earthenware pipkin, you +want to swim down the stream along with the great cop- +per kettles. All women are alike. Everybody is striving +for what is not worth the having! Gad! I dined with the +King yesterday, and we had neck of mutton and turnips. +A dinner of herbs is better than a stalled ox very often. +You will go to Gaunt House. You give an old fellow no +rest until you get there. It's not half so nice as here. +You'll be bored there. I am. My wife is as gay as Lady +Macbeth, and my daughters as cheerful as Regan and +Goneril. I daren't sleep in what they call my bedroom. +The bed is like the baldaquin of St. Peter's, and the +pictures frighten me. I have a little brass bed in a +dressing-room, and a little hair mattress like an anchorite. +I am an anchorite. Ho! ho! You'll be asked to dinner next +week. And gare aux femmes, look out and hold your +own! How the women will bully you!" This was a very +long speech for a man of few words like my Lord Steyne; +nor was it the first which he uttered for Becky's benefit +on that day. + +Briggs looked up from the work-table at which she +was seated in the farther room and gave a deep sigh +as she heard the great Marquis speak so lightly of her sex. + +"If you don't turn off that abominable sheep-dog," said +Lord Steyne, with a savage look over his shoulder at +her, "I will have her poisoned." + +"I always give my dog dinner from my own plate," +said Rebecca, laughing mischievously; and having +enjoyed for some time the discomfiture of my lord, who +hated poor Briggs for interrupting his tete-a-tete +with the fair Colonel's wife, Mrs. Rawdon at length had +pity upon her admirer, and calling to Briggs, praised the +fineness of the weather to her and bade her to take out +the child for a walk. + +"I can't send her away," Becky said presently, after +a pause, and in a very sad voice. Her eyes filled with +tears as she spoke, and she turned away her head. + +"You owe her her wages, I suppose?" said the Peer. + +"Worse than that," said Becky, still casting down her +eyes; "I have ruined her." + +"Ruined her? Then why don't you turn her out?" the +gentleman asked. + +"Men do that," Becky answered bitterly. "Women are +not so bad as you. Last year, when we were reduced +to our last guinea, she gave us everything. She shall +never leave me, until we are ruined utterly ourselves, +which does not seem far off, or until I can pay her the +utmost farthing." + +--it, how much is it?" said the Peer with an oath. +And Becky, reflecting on the largeness of his means, +mentioned not only the sum which she had borrowed from +Miss Briggs, but one of nearly double the amount. + +This caused the Lord Steyne to break out in another +brief and energetic expression of anger, at which Rebecca +held down her head the more and cried bitterly. "I could +not help it. It was my only chance. I dare not tell my +husband. He would kill me if I told him what I have +done. I have kept it a secret from everybody but you +--and you forced it from me. Ah, what shall I do, Lord +Steyne? for I am very, very unhappy!" + +Lord Steyne made no reply except by beating the +devil's tattoo and biting his nails. At last he clapped +his hat on his head and flung out of the room. Rebecca +did not rise from her attitude of misery until the door +slammed upon him and his carriage whirled away. Then +she rose up with the queerest expression of victorious +mischief glittering in her green eyes. She burst out laughing +once or twice to herself, as she sat at work, and +sitting down to the piano, she rattled away a triumphant +voluntary on the keys, which made the people pause +under her window to listen to her brilliant music. + +That night, there came two notes from Gaunt House +for the little woman, the one containing a card of +invitation from Lord and Lady Steyne to a dinner at Gaunt +House next Friday, while the other enclosed a slip of +gray paper bearing Lord Steyne's signature and the +address of Messrs. Jones, Brown, and Robinson, Lombard +Street. + +Rawdon heard Becky laughing in the night once or +twice. It was only her delight at going to Gaunt House +and facing the ladies there, she said, which amused her +so. But the truth was that she was occupied with a great +number of other thoughts. Should she pay off old Briggs +and give her her conge? Should she astonish Raggles +by settling his account? She turned over all these thoughts +on her pillow, and on the next day, when Rawdon went +out to pay his morning visit to the Club, Mrs. Crawley +(in a modest dress with a veil on) whipped off in a +hackney-coach to the City: and being landed at Messrs. +Jones and Robinson's bank, presented a document there +to the authority at the desk, who, in reply, asked her +"How she would take it?" + +She gently said "she would take a hundred and fifty +pounds in small notes and the remainder in one note": +and passing through St. Paul's Churchyard stopped there +and bought the handsomest black silk gown for Briggs +which money could buy; and which, with a kiss and the +kindest speeches, she presented to the simple old +spinster. + +Then she walked to Mr. Raggles, inquired about his +children affectionately, and gave him fifty pounds on +account. Then she went to the livery-man from whom +she jobbed her carriages and gratified him with a similar +sum. "And I hope this will be a lesson to you, Spavin," +she said, "and that on the next drawing-room day my +brother, Sir Pitt, will not be inconvenienced by being +obliged to take four of us in his carriage to wait upon +His Majesty, because my own carriage is not forthcoming." +It appears there had been a difference on the last +drawing-room day. Hence the degradation which the +Colonel had almost suffered, of being obliged to enter +the presence of his Sovereign in a hack cab. + +These arrangements concluded, Becky paid a visit +upstairs to the before-mentioned desk, which Amelia +Sedley had given her years and years ago, and which +contained a number of useful and valuable little things--in +which private museum she placed the one note which +Messrs. Jones and Robinson's cashier had given her. + + + +CHAPTER XLIX + + +In Which We Enjoy Three Courses and a Dessert + +When the ladies of Gaunt House were at breakfast that +morning, Lord Steyne (who took his chocolate in private +and seldom disturbed the females of his household, +or saw them except upon public days, or when they +crossed each other in the hall, or when from his +pit-box at the opera he surveyed them in their box on the +grand tier) his lordship, we say, appeared among the +ladies and the children who were assembled over the +tea and toast, and a battle royal ensued apropos of +Rebecca. + +"My Lady Steyne," he said, "I want to see the list +for your dinner on Friday; and I want you, if you please, +to write a card for Colonel and Mrs. Crawley." + +"Blanche writes them," Lady Steyne said in a flutter. +"Lady Gaunt writes them." + +"I will not write to that person," Lady Gaunt said, +a tall and stately lady, who looked up for an instant +and then down again after she had spoken. It was not +good to meet Lord Steyne's eyes for those who had +offended him. + +"Send the children out of the room. Go!" said he +pulling at the bell-rope. The urchins, always frightened +before him, retired: their mother would have followed +too. "Not you," he said. "You stop." + +"My Lady Steyne," he said, "once more will you have +the goodness to go to the desk and write that card for +your dinner on Friday?" + +"My Lord, I will not be present at it," Lady Gaunt +said; "I will go home." + +"I wish you would, and stay there. You will find +the bailiffs at Bareacres very pleasant company, and I +shall be freed from lending money to your relations and +from your own damned tragedy airs. Who are you to +give orders here? You have no money. You've got no +brains. You were here to have children, and you have +not had any. Gaunt's tired of you, and George's wife +is the only person in the family who doesn't wish you +were dead. Gaunt would marry again if you were." + +"I wish I were," her Ladyship answered with tears +and rage in her eyes. + +"You, forsooth, must give yourself airs of virtue, while +my wife, who is an immaculate saint, as everybody knows, +and never did wrong in her life, has no objection to meet +my young friend Mrs. Crawley. My Lady Steyne knows +that appearances are sometimes against the best of +women; that lies are often told about the most innocent +of them. Pray, madam, shall I tell you some little +anecdotes about my Lady Bareacres, your mamma?" + +"You may strike me if you like, sir, or hit any cruel +blow," Lady Gaunt said. To see his wife and daughter +suffering always put his Lordship into a good humour. + +"My sweet Blanche," he said, "I am a gentleman, and +never lay my hand upon a woman, save in the way of +kindness. I only wish to correct little faults in your +character. You women are too proud, and sadly lack +humility, as Father Mole, I'm sure, would tell my Lady +Steyne if he were here. You mustn't give yourselves airs; +you must be meek and humble, my blessings. For all +Lady Steyne knows, this calumniated, simple, good- +humoured Mrs. Crawley is quite innocent--even more +innocent than herself. Her husband's character is not +good, but it is as good as Bareacres', who has played +a little and not paid a great deal, who cheated you out +of the only legacy you ever had and left you a pauper +on my hands. And Mrs. Crawley is not very well-born, +but she is not worse than Fanny's illustrious ancestor, +the first de la Jones." + +"The money which I brought into the family, sir," Lady +George cried out-- + +"You purchased a contingent reversion with it," the +Marquis said darkly. "If Gaunt dies, your husband may +come to his honours; your little boys may inherit them, +and who knows what besides? In the meanwhile, ladies, +be as proud and virtuous as you like abroad, but don't +give ME any airs. As for Mrs. Crawley's character, I +shan't demean myself or that most spotless and perfectly +irreproachable lady by even hinting that it requires a +defence. You will be pleased to receive her with the +utmost cordiality, as you will receive all persons whom +I present in this house. This house?" He broke out with +a laugh. "Who is the master of it? and what is it? +This Temple of Virtue belongs to me. And if I invite all +Newgate or all Bedlam here, by -- they shall be +welcome." + +After this vigorous allocution, to one of which sort +Lord Steyne treated his "Hareem" whenever symptoms +of insubordination appeared in his household, the +crestfallen women had nothing for it but to obey. Lady Gaunt +wrote the invitation which his Lordship required, and +she and her mother-in-law drove in person, and with +bitter and humiliated hearts, to leave the cards on Mrs. +Rawdon, the reception of which caused that innocent +woman so much pleasure. + +There were families in London who would have +sacrificed a year's income to receive such an honour at the +hands of those great ladies. Mrs. Frederick Bullock, for +instance, would have gone on her knees from May Fair +to Lombard Street, if Lady Steyne and Lady Gaunt had +been waiting in the City to raise her up and say, "Come +to us next Friday"--not to one of the great crushes and +grand balls of Gaunt House, whither everybody went, but +to the sacred, unapproachable, mysterious, delicious +entertainments, to be admitted to one of which was a +privilege, and an honour, and a blessing indeed. + +Severe, spotless, and beautiful, Lady Gaunt held the +very highest rank in Vanity Fair. The distinguished +courtesy with which Lord Steyne treated her charmed +everybody who witnessed his behaviour, caused the severest +critics to admit how perfect a gentleman he was, and to +own that his Lordship's heart at least was in the right +place. + +The ladies of Gaunt House called Lady Bareacres in to +their aid, in order to repulse the common enemy. One +of Lady Gaunt's carriages went to Hill Street for her +Ladyship's mother, all whose equipages were in the hands +of the bailiffs, whose very jewels and wardrobe, it was +said, had been seized by those inexorable Israelites. +Bareacres Castle was theirs, too, with all its costly +pictures, furniture, and articles of vertu--the magnificent +Vandykes; the noble Reynolds pictures; the Lawrence +portraits, tawdry and beautiful, and, thirty years ago, +deemed as precious as works of real genius; the matchless +Dancing Nymph of Canova, for which Lady Bareacres +had sat in her youth--Lady Bareacres splendid then, +and radiant in wealth, rank, and beauty--a toothless, +bald, old woman now--a mere rag of a former robe of +state. Her lord, painted at the same time by Lawrence, +as waving his sabre in front of Bareacres Castle, and +clothed in his uniform as Colonel of the Thistlewood +Yeomanry, was a withered, old, lean man in a +greatcoat and a Brutus wig, slinking about Gray's Inn of +mornings chiefly and dining alone at clubs. He did not +like to dine with Steyne now. They had run races of +pleasure together in youth when Bareacres was the +winner. But Steyne had more bottom than he and had lasted +him out. The Marquis was ten times a greater man now +than the young Lord Gaunt of '85, and Bareacres +nowhere in the race--old, beaten, bankrupt, and broken +down. He had borrowed too much money of Steyne to +find it pleasant to meet his old comrade often. The latter, +whenever he wished to be merry, used jeeringly to ask +Lady Gaunt why her father had not come to see her. +"He has not been here for four months," Lord Steyne +would say. "I can always tell by my cheque-book +afterwards, when I get a visit from Bareacres. What a +comfort it is, my ladies, I bank with one of my sons' +fathers-in-law, and the other banks with me!" + +Of the other illustrious persons whom Becky had the +honour to encounter on this her first presentation to the +grand world, it does not become the present historian +to say much. There was his Excellency the Prince of +Peterwaradin, with his Princess--a nobleman tightly +girthed, with a large military chest, on which the plaque +of his order shone magnificently, and wearing the red +collar of the Golden Fleece round his neck. He was the +owner of countless flocks. "Look at his face. I think he +must be descended from a sheep," Becky whispered to +Lord Steyne. Indeed, his Excellency's countenance, long, +solemn, and white, with the ornament round his neck,. +bore some resemblance to that of a venerable bell-wether. + +There was Mr. John Paul Jefferson Jones, titularly +attached to the American Embassy and correspondent +of the New York Demagogue, who, by way of making +himself agreeable to the company, asked Lady Steyne, +during a pause in the conversation at dinner, how his +dear friend, George Gaunt, liked the Brazils? He and +George had been most intimate at Naples and had gone +up Vesuvius together. Mr. Jones wrote a full and +particular account of the dinner, which appeared duly in +the Demagogue. He mentioned the names and titles of +all the guests, giving biographical sketches of the principal +people. He described the persons of the ladies with +great eloquence; the service of the table; the size and +costume of the servants; enumerated the dishes and wines +served; the ornaments of the sideboard; and the probable +value of the plate. Such a dinner he calculated could not +be dished up under fifteen or eighteen dollars per head. +And he was in the habit, until very lately, of sending +over proteges, with letters of recommendation to the +present Marquis of Steyne, encouraged to do so by the +intimate terms on which he had lived with his dear +friend, the late lord. He was most indignant that a +young and insignificant aristocrat, the Earl of Southdown, +should have taken the pas of him in their procession to +the dining-room. "Just as I was stepping up to offer my +hand to a very pleasing and witty fashionable, the +brilliant and exclusive Mrs. Rawdon Crawley,"--he wrote +--"the young patrician interposed between me and the +lady and whisked my Helen off without a word of apology. +I was fain to bring up the rear with the Colonel, the +lady's husband, a stout red-faced warrior who +distinguished himself at Waterloo, where he had better luck +than befell some of his brother redcoats at New Orleans." + +The Colonel's countenance on coming into this polite +society wore as many blushes as the face of a boy of +sixteen assumes when he is confronted with his sister's +schoolfellows. It has been told before that honest Rawdon +had not been much used at any period of his life to +ladies' company. With the men at the Club or the mess +room, he was well enough; and could ride, bet, smoke, +or play at billiards with the boldest of them. He had had +his time for female friendships too, but that was twenty +years ago, and the ladies were of the rank of those with +whom Young Marlow in the comedy is represented as +having been familiar before he became abashed in the +presence of Miss Hardcastle. The times are such that +one scarcely dares to allude to that kind of company +which thousands of our young men in Vanity Fair are +frequenting every day, which nightly fills casinos and +dancing-rooms, which is known to exist as well as the +Ring in Hyde Park or the Congregation at St. James's +--but which the most squeamish if not the most moral +of societies is determined to ignore. In a word, although +Colonel Crawley was now five-and-forty years of age, +it had not been his lot in life to meet with a half dozen +good women, besides his paragon of a wife. All except +her and his kind sister Lady Jane, whose gentle nature +had tamed and won him, scared the worthy Colonel, +and on occasion of his first dinner at Gaunt House he +was not heard to make a single remark except to state +that the weather was very hot. Indeed Becky would have +left him at home, but that virtue ordained that her +husband should be by her side to protect the timid and +fluttering little creature on her first appearance in polite +society. + +On her first appearance Lord Steyne stepped forward, +taking her hand, and greeting her with great courtesy, +and presenting her to Lady Steyne, and their ladyships, +her daughters. Their ladyships made three stately curtsies, +and the elder lady to be sure gave her hand to the +newcomer, but it was as cold and lifeless as marble. + +Becky took it, however, with grateful humility, and +performing a reverence which would have done credit +to the best dancer-master, put herself at Lady Steyne's +feet, as it were, by saying that his Lordship had been +her father's earliest friend and patron, and that she, +Becky, had learned to honour and respect the Steyne +family from the days of her childhood. The fact is that Lord +Steyne had once purchased a couple of pictures of the +late Sharp, and the affectionate orphan could never +forget her gratitude for that favour. + +The Lady Bareacres then came under Becky's cognizance +--to whom the Colonel's lady made also a most respectful +obeisance: it was returned with severe dignity by the +exalted person in question. + +"I had the pleasure of making your Ladyship's +acquaintance at Brussels, ten years ago," Becky said in +the most winning manner. "I had the good fortune to +meet Lady Bareacres at the Duchess of Richmond's ball, +the night before the Battle of Waterloo. And I recollect +your Ladyship, and my Lady Blanche, your daughter, +sitting in the carriage in the porte-cochere at the Inn, +waiting for horses. I hope your Ladyship's diamonds are +safe." + +Everybody's eyes looked into their neighbour's. The +famous diamonds had undergone a famous seizure, it +appears, about which Becky, of course, knew nothing. +Rawdon Crawley retreated with Lord Southdown into a +window, where the latter was heard to laugh immoderately, +as Rawdon told him the story of Lady Bareacres +wanting horses and "knuckling down by Jove," to Mrs. +Crawley. "I think I needn't be afraid of THAT woman," +Becky thought. Indeed, Lady Bareacres exchanged +terrified and angry looks with her daughter and retreated +to a table, where she began to look at pictures with +great energy. + +When the Potentate from the Danube made his appearance, +the conversation was carried on in the French language, +and the Lady Bareacres and the younger ladies +found, to their farther mortification, that Mrs. Crawley +was much better acquainted with that tongue, and spoke +it with a much better accent than they. Becky had met +other Hungarian magnates with the army in France in +1816-17. She asked after her friends with great interest +The foreign personages thought that she was a lady of +great distinction, and the Prince and the Princess asked +severally of Lord Steyne and the Marchioness, whom +they conducted to dinner, who was that petite dame who +spoke so well? + +Finally, the procession being formed in the order +described by the American diplomatist, they marched into +the apartment where the banquet was served, and which, +as I have promised the reader he shall enjoy it, he shall +have the liberty of ordering himself so as to suit his +fancy. + +But it was when the ladies were alone that Becky +knew the tug of war would come. And then indeed the +little woman found herself in such a situation as made +her acknowledge the correctness of Lord Steyne's +caution to her to beware of the society of ladies above her +own sphere. As they say, the persons who hate Irishmen +most are Irishmen; so, assuredly, the greatest tyrants +over women are women. When poor little Becky, +alone with the ladies, went up to the fire-place whither +the great ladies had repaired, the great ladies marched +away and took possession of a table of drawings. When +Becky followed them to the table of drawings, they +dropped off one by one to the fire again. She tried to +speak to one of the children (of whom she was +commonly fond in public places), but Master George Gaunt +was called away by his mamma; and the stranger was +treated with such cruelty finally, that even Lady Steyne +herself pitied her and went up to speak to the friendless +little woman. + +"Lord Steyne," said her Ladyship, as her wan cheeks +glowed with a blush, "says you sing and play very +beautifully, Mrs. Crawley--I wish you would do me the +kindness to sing to me." + +"I will do anything that may give pleasure to my Lord +Steyne or to you," said Rebecca, sincerely grateful, and +seating herself at the piano, began to sing. + +She sang religious songs of Mozart, which had been +early favourites of Lady Steyne, and with such sweetness +and tenderness that the lady, lingering round the piano, +sat down by its side and listened until the tears rolled +down her eyes. It is true that the opposition ladies at +the other end of the room kept up a loud and ceaseless +buzzing and talking, but the Lady Steyne did not hear +those rumours. She was a child again--and had +wandered back through a forty years' wilderness to her +convent garden. The chapel organ had pealed the same tones, +the organist, the sister whom she loved best of the +community, had taught them to her in those early happy +days. She was a girl once more, and the brief period of +her happiness bloomed out again for an hour--she +started when the jarring doors were flung open, and with +a loud laugh from Lord Steyne, the men of the party +entered full of gaiety. + +He saw at a glance what had happened in his absence, +and was grateful to his wife for once. He went +and spoke to her, and called her by her Christian name, +so as again to bring blushes to her pale face--"My wife +says you have been singing like an angel," he said to +Becky. Now there are angels of two kinds, and both sorts, +it is said, are charming in their way. + +Whatever the previous portion of the evening had +been, the rest of that night was a great triumph for +Becky. She sang her very best, and it was so good that +every one of the men came and crowded round the +piano. The women, her enemies, were left quite alone. +And Mr. Paul Jefferson Jones thought he had made a +conquest of Lady Gaunt by going up to her Ladyship +and praising her delightful friend's first-rate singing. + + + + +CHAPTER L + + +Contains a Vulgar Incident + +The Muse, whoever she be, who presides over this +Comic History must now descend from the genteel heights +in which she has been soaring and have the goodness +to drop down upon the lowly roof of John Sedley at +Brompton, and describe what events are taking place +there. Here, too, in this humble tenement, live care, and +distrust, and dismay. Mrs. Clapp in the kitchen is +grumbling in secret to her husband about the rent, and +urging the good fellow to rebel against his old friend +and patron and his present lodger. Mrs. Sedley has +ceased to visit her landlady in the lower regions now, +and indeed is in a position to patronize Mrs. Clapp +no longer. How can one be condescending to a lady to +whom one owes a matter of forty pounds, and who is +perpetually throwing out hints for the money? The Irish +maidservant has not altered in the least in her kind and +respectful behaviour; but Mrs. Sedley fancies that she +is growing insolent and ungrateful, and, as the guilty +thief who fears each bush an officer, sees threatening +innuendoes and hints of capture in all the girl's speeches +and answers. Miss Clapp, grown quite a young woman +now, is declared by the soured old lady to be an unbearable +and impudent little minx. Why Amelia can be so +fond of her, or have her in her room so much, or walk +out with her so constantly, Mrs. Sedley cannot conceive. +The bitterness of poverty has poisoned the life of the +once cheerful and kindly woman. She is thankless for +Amelia's constant and gentle bearing towards her; carps +at her for her efforts at kindness or service; rails at her +for her silly pride in her child and her neglect of her +parents. Georgy's house is not a very lively one since +Uncle Jos's annuity has been withdrawn and the little +family are almost upon famine diet. + +Amelia thinks, and thinks, and racks her brain, to find +some means of increasing the small pittance upon which +the household is starving. Can she give lessons in +anything? paint card-racks? do fine work? She finds that +women are working hard, and better than she can, for +twopence a day. She buys a couple of begilt Bristol +boards at the Fancy Stationer's and paints her very best +upon them--a shepherd with a red waistcoat on one, and +a pink face smiling in the midst of a pencil landscape +--a shepherdess on the other, crossing a little bridge, +with a little dog, nicely shaded. The man of the Fancy +Repository and Brompton Emporium of Fine Arts (of +whom she bought the screens, vainly hoping that he +would repurchase them when ornamented by her hand) +can hardly hide the sneer with which he examines these +feeble works of art. He looks askance at the lady who +waits in the shop, and ties up the cards again in their +envelope of whitey-brown paper, and hands them to the +poor widow and Miss Clapp, who had never seen such +beautiful things in her life, and had been quite +confident that the man must give at least two guineas for +the screens. They try at other shops in the interior of +London, with faint sickening hopes. "Don't want 'em," +says one. "Be off," says another fiercely. Three-and-sixpence +has been spent in vain--the screens retire to Miss +Clapp's bedroom, who persists in thinking them lovely. + +She writes out a little card in her neatest hand, and +after long thought and labour of composition, in which the +public is informed that "A Lady who has some time at +her disposal, wishes to undertake the education of some +little girls, whom she would instruct in English, in French, +in Geography, in History, and in Music--address A. O., +at Mr. Brown's"; and she confides the card to the gentleman +of the Fine Art Repository, who consents to allow +it to lie upon the counter, where it grows dingy and +fly-blown. Amelia passes the door wistfully many a time, +in hopes that Mr. Brown will have some news to give +her, but he never beckons her in. When she goes to +make little purchases, there is no news for her. Poor +simple lady, tender and weak--how are you to battle +with the struggling violent world? + +She grows daily more care-worn and sad, fixing upon +her child alarmed eyes, whereof the little boy cannot +interpret the expression. She starts up of a night and +peeps into his room stealthily, to see that he is sleeping +and not stolen away. She sleeps but little now. A +constant thought and terror is haunting her. How she +weeps and prays in the long silent nights--how she tries +to hide from herself the thought which will return to her, +that she ought to part with the boy, that she is the only +barrier between him and prosperity. She can't, she can't. +Not now, at least. Some other day. Oh! it is too hard to +think of and to bear. + +A thought comes over her which makes her blush and +turn from herself--her parents might keep the annuity +--the curate would marry her and give a home to her +and the boy. But George's picture and dearest memory +are there to rebuke her. Shame and love say no to the +sacrifice. She shrinks from it as from something unholy, +and such thoughts never found a resting-place in that +pure and gentle bosom. + +The combat, which we describe in a sentence or two, +lasted for many weeks in poor Amelia's heart, during +which she had no confidante; indeed, she could never +have one, as she would not allow to herself the +possibility of yielding, though she was giving way daily +before the enemy with whom she had to battle. One truth +after another was marshalling itself silently against her +and keeping its ground. Poverty and misery for all, want +and degradation for her parents, injustice to the boy-- +one by one the outworks of the little citadel were taken, +in which the poor soul passionately guarded her only +love and treasure. + +At the beginning of the struggle, she had written off a +letter of tender supplication to her brother at Calcutta, +imploring him not to withdraw the support which he had +granted to their parents and painting in terms of artless +pathos their lonely and hapless condition. She did not +know the truth of the matter. The payment of Jos's +annuity was still regular, but it was a money-lender in the +City who was receiving it: old Sedley had sold it for a +sum of money wherewith to prosecute his bootless +schemes. Emmy was calculating eagerly the time that +would elapse before the letter would arrive and be +answered. She had written down the date in her pocket- +book of the day when she dispatched it. To her son's +guardian, the good Major at Madras, she had not +communicated any of her griefs and perplexities. She had +not written to him since she wrote to congratulate him on +his approaching marriage. She thought with sickening +despondency, that that friend--the only one, the one +who had felt such a regard for her--was fallen away. + +One day, when things had come to a very bad pass +--when the creditors were pressing, the mother in +hysteric grief, the father in more than usual gloom, the +inmates of the family avoiding each other, each secretly +oppressed with his private unhappiness and notion of +wrong--the father and daughter happened to be left +alone together, and Amelia thought to comfort her father +by telling him what she had done. She had written to +Joseph--an answer must come in three or four months. +He was always generous, though careless. He could not +refuse, when he knew how straitened were the +circumstances of his parents. + +Then the poor old gentleman revealed the whole truth +to her--that his son was still paying the annuity, which +his own imprudence had flung away. He had not dared +to tell it sooner. He thought Amelia's ghastly and terrified +look, when, with a trembling, miserable voice he made +the confession, conveyed reproaches to him for his +concealment. "Ah!" said he with quivering lips and turning +away, "you despise your old father now!" + +"Oh, papal it is not that," Amelia cried out, falling +on his neck and kissing him many times. "You are +always good and kind. You did it for the best. It is not +for the money--it is--my God! my God! have mercy +upon me, and give me strength to bear this trial"; and +she kissed him again wildly and went away. + +Still the father did not know what that explanation +meant, and the burst of anguish with which the poor +girl left him. It was that she was conquered. The sentence +was passed. The child must go from her--to others--to +forget her. Her heart and her treasure--her joy, hope, +love, worship--her God, almost! She must give him up, +and then--and then she would go to George, and they +would watch over the child and wait for him until he +came to them in Heaven. + +She put on her bonnet, scarcely knowing what she did, +and went out to walk in the lanes by which George used +to come back from school, and where she was in the +habit of going on his return to meet the boy. It was +May, a half-holiday. The leaves were all coming out, +the weather was brilliant; the boy came running to her +flushed with health, singing, his bundle of school-books +hanging by a thong. There he was. Both her arms were +round him. No, it was impossible. They could not be +going to part. "What is the matter, Mother?" said he; +"you look very pale." + +"Nothing, my child," she said and stooped down and +kissed him. + +That night Amelia made the boy read the story of +Samuel to her, and how Hannah, his mother, having +weaned him, brought him to Eli the High Priest to +minister before the Lord. And he read the song of gratitude +which Hannah sang, and which says, who it is who +maketh poor and maketh rich, and bringeth low and +exalteth--how the poor shall be raised up out of the +dust, and how, in his own might, no man shall be strong. +Then he read how Samuel's mother made him a little +coat and brought it to him from year to year when she +came up to offer the yearly sacrifice. And then, in her +sweet simple way, George's mother made commentaries +to the boy upon this affecting story. How Hannah, though +she loved her son so much, yet gave him up because +of her vow. And how she must always have thought of +him as she sat at home, far away, making the little +coat; and Samuel, she was sure, never forgot his mother; +and how happy she must have been as the time came +(and the years pass away very quick) when she should +see her boy and how good and wise he had grown. This +little sermon she spoke with a gentle solemn voice, and +dry eyes, until she came to the account of their +meeting--then the discourse broke off suddenly, the tender +heart overflowed, and taking the boy to her breast, she +rocked him in her arms and wept silently over him in +a sainted agony of tears. + +Her mind being made up, the widow began to take +such measures as seemed right to her for advancing the +end which she proposed. One day, Miss Osborne, in +Russell Square (Amelia had not written the name or number +of the house for ten years--her youth, her early story +came back to her as she wrote the superscription) one +day Miss Osborne got a letter from Amelia which made +her blush very much and look towards her father, sitting +glooming in his place at the other end of the table. + +In simple terms, Amelia told her the reasons which +had induced her to change her mind respecting her boy. +Her father had met with fresh misfortunes which had +entirely ruined him. Her own pittance was so small that +it would barely enable her to support her parents and +would not suffice to give George the advantages which +were his due. Great as her sufferings would be at parting +with him she would, by God's help, endure them for the +boy's sake. She knew that those to whom he was going +would do all in their power to make him happy. She +described his disposition, such as she fancied it--quick +and impatient of control or harshness, easily to be moved +by love and kindness. In a postscript, she stipulated that +she should have a written agreement, that she should +see the child as often as she wished--she could not +part with him under any other terms. + +"What? Mrs. Pride has come down, has she?" old +Osborne said, when with a tremulous eager voice Miss +Osborne read him the letter. "Reg'lar starved out, hey? +Ha, ha! I knew she would." He tried to keep his dignity +and to read his paper as usual--but he could not follow +it. He chuckled and swore to himself behind the sheet. + +At last he flung it down and, scowling at his daughter, +as his wont was, went out of the room into his study +adjoining, from whence he presently returned with a +key. He flung it to Miss Osborne. + +"Get the room over mine--his room that was--ready," +he said. "Yes, sir," his daughter replied in a tremble. +It was George's room. It had not been opened for more +than ten years. Some of his clothes, papers, handkerchiefs, +whips and caps, fishing-rods and sporting gear, +were still there. An Army list of 1814, with his name +written on the cover; a little dictionary he was wont to +use in writing; and the Bible his mother had given him, +were on the mantelpiece, with a pair of spurs and a +dried inkstand covered with the dust of ten years. Ah! +since that ink was wet, what days and people had passed +away! The writing-book, still on the table, was blotted +with his hand. + +Miss Osborne was much affected when she first +entered this room with the servants under her. She sank +quite pale on the little bed. "This is blessed news, m'am +--indeed, m'am," the housekeeper said; "and the good +old times is returning, m'am. The dear little feller, to be +sure, m'am; how happy he will be! But some folks in +May Fair, m'am, will owe him a grudge, m'am"; and +she clicked back the bolt which held the window-sash +and let the air into the chamber. + +"You had better send that woman some money," Mr. +Osborne said, before he went out. "She shan't want for +nothing. Send her a hundred pound." + +"And I'll go and see her to-morrow?" Miss Osborne +asked. + +"That's your look out. She don't come in here, mind. +No, by --, not for all the money in London. But she +mustn't want now. So look out, and get things right." With +which brief speeches Mr. Osborne took leave of his +daughter and went on his accustomed way into the City. + +"Here, Papa, is some money," Amelia said that +night, kissing the old man, her father, and putting a bill +for a hundred pounds into his hands. "And--and, Mamma, +don't be harsh with Georgy. He--he is not going to stop +with us long." She could say nothing more, and walked +away silently to her room. Let us close it upon her +prayers and her sorrow. I think we had best speak little +about so much love and grief. + +Miss Osborne came the next day, according to the +promise contained in her note, and saw Amelia. The +meeting between them was friendly. A look and a few words +from Miss Osborne showed the poor widow that, with +regard to this woman at least, there need be no fear +lest she should take the first place in her son's affection. +She was cold, sensible, not unkind. The mother had +not been so well pleased, perhaps, had the rival been +better looking, younger, more affectionate, warmer- +hearted. Miss Osborne, on the other hand, thought of old +times and memories and could not but be touched with +the poor mother's pitiful situation. She was conquered, +and laying down her arms, as it were, she humbly +submitted. That day they arranged together the +preliminaries of the treaty of capitulation. + +George was kept from school the next day, and saw +his aunt. Amelia left them alone together and went to +her room. She was trying the separation--as that poor +gentle Lady Jane Grey felt the edge of the axe that was +to come down and sever her slender life. Days were +passed in parleys, visits, preparations. The widow broke +the matter to Georgy with great caution; she looked to +see him very much affected by the intelligence. He was +rather elated than otherwise, and the poor woman +turned sadly away. He bragged about the news that day +to the boys at school; told them how he was going to +live with his grandpapa his father's father, not the one +who comes here sometimes; and that he would be very +rich, and have a carriage, and a pony, and go to a much +finer school, and when he was rich he would buy Leader's +pencil-case and pay the tart-woman. The boy was the +image of his father, as his fond mother thought. + +Indeed I have no heart, on account of our dear +Amelia's sake, to go through the story of George's last +days at home. + +At last the day came, the carriage drove up, the little +humble packets containing tokens of love and remembrance +were ready and disposed in the hall long since +--George was in his new suit, for which the tailor had +come previously to measure him. He had sprung up with +the sun and put on the new clothes, his mother hearing +him from the room close by, in which she had been +lying, in speechless grief and watching. Days before she +had been making preparations for the end, purchasing +little stores for the boy's use, marking his books and +linen, talking with him and preparing him for the change +--fondly fancying that he needed preparation. + +So that he had change, what cared he? He was longing +for it. By a thousand eager declarations as to what +he would do, when he went to live with his grandfather, +he had shown the poor widow how little the idea of +parting had cast him down. "He would come and see +his mamma often on the pony," he said. "He would +come and fetch her in the carriage; they would drive +in the park, and she should have everything she wanted." +The poor mother was fain to content herself with these +selfish demonstrations of attachment, and tried to +convince herself how sincerely her son loved her. He must +love her. All children were so: a little anxious for novelty, +and--no, not selfish, but self-willed. Her child must +have his enjoyments and ambition in the world. She +herself, by her own selfishness and imprudent love for him +had denied him his just rights and pleasures hitherto. + +I know few things more affecting than that timorous +debasement and self-humiliation of a woman. How she +owns that it is she and not the man who is guilty; how +she takes all the faults on her side; how she courts in a +manner punishment for the wrongs which she has not +committed and persists in shielding the real culprit! It +is those who injure women who get the most kindness +from them--they are born timid and tyrants and +maltreat those who are humblest before them. + +So poor Amelia had been getting ready in silent misery +for her son's departure, and had passed many and many +a long solitary hour in making preparations for the end. +George stood by his mother, watching her arrangements +without the least concern. Tears had fallen into his boxes; +passages had been scored in his favourite books; old toys, +relics, treasures had been hoarded away for him, and +packed with strange neatness and care--and of all these +things the boy took no note. The child goes away smiling +as the mother breaks her heart. By heavens it is pitiful, +the bootless love of women for children in Vanity Fair. + +A few days are past, and the great event of Amelia's +life is consummated. No angel has intervened. The child +is sacrificed and offered up to fate, and the widow is +quite alone. + +The boy comes to see her often, to be sure. He rides +on a pony with a coachman behind him, to the delight +of his old grandfather, Sedley, who walks proudly down +the lane by his side. She sees him, but he is not her boy +any more. Why, he rides to see the boys at the little +school, too, and to show off before them his new wealth +and splendour. In two days he has adopted a slightly +imperious air and patronizing manner. He was born to +command, his mother thinks, as his father was before +him. + +It is fine weather now. Of evenings on the days when +he does not come, she takes a long walk into London +--yes, as far as Russell Square, and rests on the stone +by the railing of the garden opposite Mr. Osborne's house. +It is so pleasant and cool. She can look up and see the +drawing-room windows illuminated, and, at about nine +o'clock, the chamber in the upper story where Georgy +sleeps. She knows--he has told her. She prays there +as the light goes out, prays with an humble heart, +and walks home shrinking and silent. She is very tired +when she comes home. Perhaps she will sleep the better +for that long weary walk, and she may dream about +Georgy. + +One Sunday she happened to be walking in Russell +Square, at some distance from Mr. Osborne's house (she +could see it from a distance though) when all the bells +of Sabbath were ringing, and George and his aunt came +out to go to church; a little sweep asked for charity, +and the footman, who carried the books, tried to drive +him away; but Georgy stopped and gave him money. May +God's blessing be on the boy! Emmy ran round the square +and, coming up to the sweep, gave him her mite too. +All the bells of Sabbath were ringing, and she followed +them until she came to the Foundling Church, into which +she went. There she sat in a place whence she could +see the head of the boy under his father's tombstone. +Many hundred fresh children's voices rose up there and +sang hymns to the Father Beneficent, and little George's +soul thrilled with delight at the burst of glorious +psalmody. His mother could not see him for awhile, +through the mist that dimmed her eyes. + + + + +CHAPTER LI + + + +In Which a Charade Is Acted Which May or May +Not Puzzle the Reader + +After Becky's appearance at my Lord Steyne's private +and select parties, the claims of that estimable woman +as regards fashion were settled, and some of the very +greatest and tallest doors in the metropolis were +speedily opened to her--doors so great and tall that the +beloved reader and writer hereof may hope in vain to +enter at them. Dear brethren, let us tremble before +those august portals. I fancy them guarded by grooms +of the chamber with flaming silver forks with which they +prong all those who have not the right of the entree. +They say the honest newspaper-fellow who sits in the +hall and takes down the names of the great ones who +are admitted to the feasts dies after a little time. He +can't survive the glare of fashion long. It scorches him +up, as the presence of Jupiter in full dress wasted that +poor imprudent Semele--a giddy moth of a creature who +ruined herself by venturing out of her natural atmosphere. +Her myth ought to be taken to heart amongst the +Tyburnians, the Belgravians--her story, and perhaps +Becky's too. Ah, ladies!--ask the Reverend Mr. Thurifer +if Belgravia is not a sounding brass and Tyburnia a +tinkling cymbal. These are vanities. Even these will pass +away. And some day or other (but it will be after our +time, thank goodness) Hyde Park Gardens will be no +better known than the celebrated horticultural outskirts +of Babylon, and Belgrave Square will be as desolate as +Baker Street, or Tadmor in the wilderness. + +Ladies, are you aware that the great Pitt lived in Baker +Street? What would not your grandmothers have given +to be asked to Lady Hester's parties in that now +decayed mansion? I have dined in it--moi qui vous parle, +I peopled the chamber with ghosts of the mighty dead. +As we sat soberly drinking claret there with men of +to-day, the spirits of the departed came in and took their +places round the darksome board. The pilot who +weathered the storm tossed off great bumpers of spiritual +port; the shade of Dundas did not leave the ghost of a +heeltap. Addington sat bowing and smirking in a ghastly +manner, and would not be behindhand when the +noiseless bottle went round; Scott, from under bushy eyebrows, +winked at the apparition of a beeswing; Wilberforce's +eyes went up to the ceiling, so that he did not seem to +know how his glass went up full to his mouth and came +down empty; up to the ceiling which was above us only +yesterday, and which the great of the past days have all +looked at. They let the house as a furnished lodging +now. Yes, Lady Hester once lived in Baker Street, and +lies asleep in the wilderness. Eothen saw her there-- +not in Baker Street, but in the other solitude. + +It is all vanity to be sure, but who will not own to +liking a little of it? I should like to know what well- +constituted mind, merely because it is transitory, dislikes +roast beef? That is a vanity, but may every man who +reads this have a wholesome portion of it through life, +I beg: aye, though my readers were five hundred +thousand. Sit down, gentlemen, and fall to, with a good hearty +appetite; the fat, the lean, the gravy, the horse-radish +as you like it--don't spare it. Another glass of wine, +Jones, my boy--a little bit of the Sunday side. Yes, let +us eat our fill of the vain thing and be thankful therefor. +And let us make the best of Becky's aristocratic +pleasures likewise--for these too, like all other mortal +delights, were but transitory. + +The upshot of her visit to Lord Steyne was that His +Highness the Prince of Peterwaradin took occasion to +renew his acquaintance with Colonel Crawley, when +they met on the next day at the Club, and to compliment +Mrs. Crawley in the Ring of Hyde Park with a +profound salute of the hat. She and her husband were +invited immediately to one of the Prince's small parties +at Levant House, then occupied by His Highness during +the temporary absence from England of its noble +proprietor. She sang after dinner to a very little comite. +The Marquis of Steyne was present, paternally +superintending the progress of his pupil. + +At Levant House Becky met one of the finest gentlemen +and greatest ministers that Europe has produced-- +the Duc de la Jabotiere, then Ambassador from the Most +Christian King, and subsequently Minister to that +monarch. I declare I swell with pride as these august names +are transcribed by my pen, and I think in what brilliant +company my dear Becky is moving. She became a +constant guest at the French Embassy, where no party was +considered to be complete without the presence of the +charming Madame Ravdonn Cravley. + +Messieurs de Truffigny (of the Perigord family) and +Champignac, both attaches of the Embassy, were +straightway smitten by the charms of the fair Colonel's +wife, and both declared, according to the wont of their +nation (for who ever yet met a Frenchman, come out of +England, that has not left half a dozen families miserable, +and brought away as many hearts in his pocket-book?), +both, I say, declared that they were au mieux with the +charming Madame Ravdonn. + +But I doubt the correctness of the assertion. Champignac +was very fond of ecarte, and made many parties +with the Colonel of evenings, while Becky was singing to +Lord Steyne in the other room; and as for Truffigny, it is +a well-known fact that he dared not go to the Travellers', +where he owed money to the waiters, and if he had not +had the Embassy as a dining-place, the worthy young +gentleman must have starved. I doubt, I say, that Becky +would have selected either of these young men as a +person on whom she would bestow her special regard. They +ran of her messages, purchased her gloves and flowers, +went in debt for opera-boxes for her, and made +themselves amiable in a thousand ways. And they talked +English with adorable simplicity, and to the constant +amusement of Becky and my Lord Steyne, she would mimic +one or other to his face, and compliment him on his +advance in the English language with a gravity which never +failed to tickle the Marquis, her sardonic old patron. +Truffigny gave Briggs a shawl by way of winning over +Becky's confidante, and asked her to take charge of a +letter which the simple spinster handed over in public +to the person to whom it was addressed, and the +composition of which amused everybody who read it greatly. +Lord Steyne read it, everybody but honest Rawdon, to +whom it was not necessary to tell everything that passed +in the little house in May Fair. + +Here, before long, Becky received not only "the best" +foreigners (as the phrase is in our noble and admirable +society slang), but some of the best English people too. +I don't mean the most virtuous, or indeed the least +virtuous, or the cleverest, or the stupidest, or the richest, or +the best born, but "the best,"--in a word, people about +whom there is no question--such as the great Lady Fitz- +Willis, that Patron Saint of Almack's, the great Lady +Slowbore, the great Lady Grizzel Macbeth (she was +Lady G. Glowry, daughter of Lord Grey of Glowry), +and the like. When the Countess of Fitz-Willis (her +Ladyship is of the Kingstreet family, see Debrett and +Burke) takes up a person, he or she is safe. There is no +question about them any more. Not that my Lady Fitz- +Willis is any better than anybody else, being, on the +contrary, a faded person, fifty-seven years of age, and +neither handsome, nor wealthy, nor entertaining; but it is +agreed on all sides that she is of the "best people." +Those who go to her are of the best: and from an old +grudge probably to Lady Steyne (for whose coronet her +ladyship, then the youthful Georgina Frederica, daughter +of the Prince of Wales's favourite, the Earl of Portansherry, +had once tried), this great and famous leader of +the fashion chose to acknowledge Mrs. Rawdon +Crawley; made her a most marked curtsey at the assembly +over which she presided; and not only encouraged her +son, St. Kitts (his lordship got his place through Lord +Steyne's interest), to frequent Mrs. Crawley's house, but +asked her to her own mansion and spoke to her twice in +the most public and condescending manner during +dinner. The important fact was known all over London that +night. People who had been crying fie about Mrs. +Crawley were silent. Wenham, the wit and lawyer, Lord +Steyne's right-hand man, went about everywhere praising +her: some who had hesitated, came forward at once +and welcomed her; little Tom Toady, who had warned +Southdown about visiting such an abandoned woman, +now besought to be introduced to her. In a word, she +was admitted to be among the "best" people. Ah, my +beloved readers and brethren, do not envy poor Becky +prematurely--glory like this is said to be fugitive. It is +currently reported that even in the very inmost circles, +they are no happier than the poor wanderers outside the +zone; and Becky, who penetrated into the very centre of +fashion and saw the great George IV face to face, has +owned since that there too was Vanity. + +We must be brief in descanting upon this part of her +career. As I cannot describe the mysteries of freemasonry, +although I have a shrewd idea that it is a humbug, +so an uninitiated man cannot take upon himself to +portray the great world accurately, and had best keep his +opinions to himself, whatever they are. + +Becky has often spoken in subsequent years of this +season of her life, when she moved among the very +greatest circles of the London fashion. Her success +excited, elated, and then bored her. At first no occupation +was more pleasant than to invent and procure (the latter +a work of no small trouble and ingenuity, by the way, in +a person of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's very narrow means) +--to procure, we say, the prettiest new dresses and +ornaments; to drive to fine dinner parties, where she was +welcomed by great people; and from the fine dinner +parties to fine assemblies, whither the same people came +with whom she had been dining, whom she had met the +night before, and would see on the morrow--the young +men faultlessly appointed, handsomely cravatted, with +the neatest glossy boots and white gloves--the elders +portly, brass-buttoned, noble-looking, polite, and prosy +--the young ladies blonde, timid, and in pink--the +mothers grand, beautiful, sumptuous, solemn, and in +diamonds. They talked in English, not in bad French, as +they do in the novels. They talked about each others' +houses, and characters, and families--just as the Joneses +do about the Smiths. Becky's former acquaintances hated +and envied her; the poor woman herself was yawning in +spirit. "I wish I were out of it," she said to herself. "I +would rather be a parson's wife and teach a Sunday +school than this; or a sergeant's lady and ride in the +regimental waggon; or, oh, how much gayer it would be +to wear spangles and trousers and dance before a booth +at a fair." + +"You would do it very well," said Lord Steyne, laughing. +She used to tell the great man her ennuis and +perplexities in her artless way--they amused him. + +"Rawdon would make a very good Ecuyer--Master of +the Ceremonies--what do you call him--the man in the +large boots and the uniform, who goes round the ring +cracking the whip? He is large, heavy, and of a military +figure. I recollect," Becky continued pensively, "my +father took me to see a show at Brookgreen Fair when I +was a child, and when we came home, I made myself a +pair of stilts and danced in the studio to the wonder of +all the pupils." + +"I should have liked to see it," said Lord Steyne. + +"I should like to do it now," Becky continued. "How +Lady Blinkey would open her eyes, and Lady Grizzel +Macbeth would stare! Hush! silence! there is Pasta +beginning to sing." Becky always made a point of being +conspicuously polite to the professional ladies and +gentlemen who attended at these aristocratic parties--of +following them into the corners where they sat in silence, +and shaking hands with them, and smiling in the view of +all persons. She was an artist herself, as she said very +truly; there was a frankness and humility in the manner +in which she acknowledged her origin, which provoked, +or disarmed, or amused lookers-on, as the case might +be. "How cool that woman is," said one; "what airs of +independence she assumes, where she ought to sit still +and be thankful if anybody speaks to her!" "What an +honest and good-natured soul she is!" said another. +"What an artful little minx" said a third. They were all +right very likely, but Becky went her own way, and so +fascinated the professional personages that they would +leave off their sore throats in order to sing at her parties +and give her lessons for nothing. + +Yes, she gave parties in the little house in Curzon +Street. Many scores of carriages, with blazing lamps, +blocked up the street, to the disgust of No. 100, who +could not rest for the thunder of the knocking, and of +102, who could not sleep for envy. The gigantic footmen +who accompanied the vehicles were too big to be +contained in Becky's little hall, and were billeted off in the +neighbouring public-houses, whence, when they were +wanted, call-boys summoned them from their beer. +Scores of the great dandies of London squeezed and +trod on each other on the little stairs, laughing to find +themselves there; and many spotless and severe ladies of +ton were seated in the little drawing-room, listening to +the professional singers, who were singing according to +their wont, and as if they wished to blow the windows +down. And the day after, there appeared among the +fashionable reunions in the Morning Post a paragraph +to the following effect: + +"Yesterday, Colonel and Mrs. Crawley entertained a +select party at dinner at their house in May Fair. Their +Excellencies the Prince and Princess of Peterwaradin, +H. E. Papoosh Pasha, the Turkish Ambassador (attended +by Kibob Bey, dragoman of the mission), the Marquess +of Steyne, Earl of Southdown, Sir Pitt and Lady +Jane Crawley, Mr. Wagg, &c. After dinner Mrs. Crawley +had an assembly which was attended by the Duchess +(Dowager) of Stilton, Duc de la Gruyere, Marchioness +of Cheshire, Marchese Alessandro Strachino, Comte de +Brie, Baron Schapzuger, Chevalier Tosti, Countess of +Slingstone, and Lady F. Macadam, Major-General and +Lady G. Macbeth, and (2) Miss Macbeths; Viscount +Paddington, Sir Horace Fogey, Hon. Sands Bedwin, +Bobachy Bahawder," and an &c., which the reader may fill +at his pleasure through a dozen close lines of small type. + +And in her commerce with the great our dear friend +showed the same frankness which distinguished her +transactions with the lowly in station. On one occasion, +when out at a very fine house, Rebecca was (perhaps +rather ostentatiously) holding a conversation in the +French language with a celebrated tenor singer of that +nation, while the Lady Grizzel Macbeth looked over her +shoulder scowling at the pair. + +"How very well you speak French," Lady Grizzel said, +who herself spoke the tongue in an Edinburgh accent +most remarkable to hear. + +"I ought to know it," Becky modestly said, casting +down her eyes. "I taught it in a school, and my mother +was a Frenchwoman." + +Lady Grizzel was won by her humility and was +mollified towards the little woman. She deplored the fatal +levelling tendencies of the age, which admitted persons +of all classes into the society of their superiors, but her +ladyship owned that this one at least was well behaved +and never forgot her place in life. She was a very good +woman: good to the poor; stupid, blameless, unsuspicious. +It is not her ladyship's fault that she fancies herself +better than you and me. The skirts of her ancestors' +garments have been kissed for centuries; it is a thousand +years, they say, since the tartans of the head of the +family were embraced by the defunct Duncan's lords and +councillors, when the great ancestor of the House +became King of Scotland. + +Lady Steyne, after the music scene, succumbed before +Becky, and perhaps was not disinclined to her. The +younger ladies of the house of Gaunt were also +compelled into submission. Once or twice they set people at +her, but they failed. The brilliant Lady Stunnington tried +a passage of arms with her, but was routed with great +slaughter by the intrepid little Becky. When attacked +sometimes, Becky had a knack of adopting a demure +ingenue air, under which she was most dangerous. She +said the wickedest things with the most simple unaffected +air when in this mood, and would take care artlessly to +apologize for her blunders, so that all the world should +know that she had made them. + +Mr. Wagg, the celebrated wit, and a led captain and +trencher-man of my Lord Steyne, was caused by the +ladies to charge her; and the worthy fellow, leering at his +patronesses and giving them a wink, as much as to say, +"Now look out for sport," one evening began an assault +upon Becky, who was unsuspiciously eating her dinner. +The little woman, attacked on a sudden, but never +without arms, lighted up in an instant, parried and riposted +with a home-thrust, which made Wagg's face tingle with +shame; then she returned to her soup with the most +perfect calm and a quiet smile on her face. Wagg's great +patron, who gave him dinners and lent him a little money +sometimes, and whose election, newspaper, and other +jobs Wagg did, gave the luckless fellow such a savage +glance with the eyes as almost made him sink under the +table and burst into tears. He looked piteously at my +lord, who never spoke to him during dinner, and at the +ladies, who disowned him. At last Becky herself took +compassion upon him and tried to engage him in talk. +He was not asked to dinner again for six weeks; and +Fiche, my lord's confidential man, to whom Wagg +naturally paid a good deal of court, was instructed to tell +him that if he ever dared to say a rude thing to Mrs. +Crawley again, or make her the butt of his stupid jokes, +Milor would put every one of his notes of hand into his +lawyer's hands and sell him up without mercy. Wagg +wept before Fiche and implored his dear friend to intercede +for him. He wrote a poem in favour of Mrs. R. C., +which appeared in the very next number of the Harum- +scarum Magazine, which he conducted. He implored her +good-will at parties where he met her. He cringed and +coaxed Rawdon at the club. He was allowed to come back +to Gaunt House after a while. Becky was always good to +him, always amused, never angry. + +His lordship's vizier and chief confidential servant +(with a seat in parliament and at the dinner table), Mr. +Wenham, was much more prudent in his behaviour and +opinions than Mr. Wagg. However much he might be +disposed to hate all parvenus (Mr. Wenham himself was a +staunch old True Blue Tory, and his father a small coal- +merchant in the north of England), this aide-de-camp of +the Marquis never showed any sort of hostility to the +new favourite, but pursued her with stealthy kindnesses +and a sly and deferential politeness which somehow +made Becky more uneasy than other people's overt +hostilities. + +How the Crawleys got the money which was spent +upon the entertainments with which they treated the +polite world was a mystery which gave rise to some +conversation at the time, and probably added zest to these +little festivities. Some persons averred that Sir Pitt Crawley +gave his brother a handsome allowance; if he did, +Becky's power over the Baronet must have been +extraordinary indeed, and his character greatly changed in his +advanced age. Other parties hinted that it was Becky's +habit to levy contributions on all her husband's friends: +going to this one in tears with an account that there was +an execution in the house; falling on her knees to that +one and declaring that the whole family must go to gaol +or commit suicide unless such and such a bill could be +paid. Lord Southdown, it was said, had been induced to +give many hundreds through these pathetic representations. +Young Feltham, of the --th Dragoons (and son of the firm of +Tiler and Feltham, hatters and army accoutrement makers), +and whom the Crawleys introduced into fashionable +life, was also cited as one of Becky's victims in the +pecuniary way. People declared that she got money +from various simply disposed persons, under pretence of +getting them confidential appointments under Government. +Who knows what stories were or were not told of +our dear and innocent friend? Certain it is that if she had +had all the money which she was said to have begged or +borrowed or stolen, she might have capitalized and been +honest for life, whereas,--but this is advancing matters. + +The truth is, that by economy and good management-- +by a sparing use of ready money and by paying scarcely +anybody--people can manage, for a time at least, to +make a great show with very little means: and it is our +belief that Becky's much-talked-of parties, which were +not, after all was said, very numerous, cost this lady very +little more than the wax candles which lighted the walls. +Stillbrook and Queen's Crawley supplied her with game +and fruit in abundance. Lord Steyne's cellars were at her +disposal, and that excellent nobleman's famous cooks +presided over her little kitchen, or sent by my lord's +order the rarest delicacies from their own. I protest it is +quite shameful in the world to abuse a simple creature, +as people of her time abuse Becky, and I warn the +public against believing one-tenth of the stories against her. +If every person is to be banished from society who runs +into debt and cannot pay--if we are to be peering into +everybody's private life, speculating upon their income, +and cutting them if we don't approve of their expenditure +--why, what a howling wilderness and intolerable dwelling +Vanity Fair would be! Every man's hand would be +against his neighbour in this case, my dear sir, and the +benefits of civilization would be done away with. We +should be quarrelling, abusing, avoiding one another. Our +houses would become caverns, and we should go in rags +because we cared for nobody. Rents would go down. +Parties wouldn't be given any more. All the tradesmen +of the town would be bankrupt. Wine, wax-lights, +comestibles, rouge, crinoline-petticoats, diamonds, wigs, +Louis-Quatorze gimcracks, and old china, park hacks, and +splendid high-stepping carriage horses--all the delights +of life, I say,--would go to the deuce, if people did but +act upon their silly principles and avoid those whom they +dislike and abuse. Whereas, by a little charity and mutual +forbearance, things are made to go on pleasantly +enough: we may abuse a man as much as we like, and +call him the greatest rascal unhanged--but do we wish +to hang him therefore? No. We shake hands when we +meet. If his cook is good we forgive him and go and dine +with him, and we expect he will do the same by us. Thus +trade flourishes--civilization advances; peace is kept; +new dresses are wanted for new assemblies every week; +and the last year's vintage of Lafitte will remunerate the +honest proprietor who reared it. + +At the time whereof we are writing, though the Great +George was on the throne and ladies wore gigots and +large combs like tortoise-shell shovels in their hair, +instead of the simple sleeves and lovely wreaths which are +actually in fashion, the manners of the very polite world +were not, I take it, essentially different from those of the +present day: and their amusements pretty similar. To us, +from the outside, gazing over the policeman's shoulders +at the bewildering beauties as they pass into Court or +ball, they may seem beings of unearthly splendour and in +the enjoyment of an exquisite happiness by us unattainable. +It is to console some of these dissatisfied beings +that we are narrating our dear Becky's struggles, and +triumphs, and disappointments, of all of which, indeed, +as is the case with all persons of merit, she had her share. + +At this time the amiable amusement of acting charades +had come among us from France, and was considerably +in vogue in this country, enabling the many ladies +amongst us who had beauty to display their charms, and +the fewer number who had cleverness to exhibit their wit. +My Lord Steyne was incited by Becky, who perhaps +believed herself endowed with both the above qualifications, +to give an entertainment at Gaunt House, which should +include some of these little dramas--and we must take +leave to introduce the reader to this brilliant reunion, +and, with a melancholy welcome too, for it will be among +the very last of the fashionable entertainments to which +it will be our fortune to conduct him. + +A portion of that splendid room, the picture gallery of +Gaunt House, was arranged as the charade theatre. It +had been so used when George III was king; and a +picture of the Marquis of Gaunt is still extant, with his hair +in powder and a pink ribbon, in a Roman shape, as it +was called, enacting the part of Cato in Mr. Addison's +tragedy of that name, performed before their Royal +Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Bishop of Osnaburgh, +and Prince William Henry, then children like the actor. +One or two of the old properties were drawn out of the +garrets, where they had lain ever since, and furbished up +anew for the present festivities. + +Young Bedwin Sands, then an elegant dandy and Eastern +traveller, was manager of the revels. An Eastern traveller +was somebody in those days, and the adventurous +Bedwin, who had published his quarto and passed some +months under the tents in the desert, was a personage of +no small importance. In his volume there were several +pictures of Sands in various oriental costumes; and he +travelled about with a black attendant of most +unprepossessing appearance, just like another Brian de Bois +Guilbert. Bedwin, his costumes, and black man, were +hailed at Gaunt House as very valuable acquisitions. + +He led off the first charade. A Turkish officer with an +immense plume of feathers (the Janizaries were +supposed to be still in existence, and the tarboosh had not +as yet displaced the ancient and majestic head-dress of +the true believers) was seen couched on a divan, and +making believe to puff at a narghile, in which, however, +for the sake of the ladies, only a fragrant pastille was +allowed to smoke. The Turkish dignitary yawns and +expresses signs of weariness and idleness. He claps his hands +and Mesrour the Nubian appears, with bare arms, +bangles, yataghans, and every Eastern ornament--gaunt, +tall, and hideous. He makes a salaam before my lord the +Aga. + +A thrill of terror and delight runs through the assembly. +The ladies whisper to one another. The black slave +was given to Bedwin Sands by an Egyptian pasha in +exchange for three dozen of Maraschino. He has sewn up +ever so many odalisques in sacks and tilted them into +the Nile. + +"Bid the slave-merchant enter," says the Turkish +voluptuary with a wave of his hand. Mesrour conducts the +slave-merchant into my lord's presence; he brings a +veiled female with him. He removes the veil. A thrill of +applause bursts through the house. It is Mrs. Winkworth +(she was a Miss Absolom) with the beautiful eyes and +hair. She is in a gorgeous oriental costume; the black +braided locks are twined with innumerable jewels; her +dress is covered over with gold piastres. The odious +Mahometan expresses himself charmed by her beauty. She +falls down on her knees and entreats him to restore her +to the mountains where she was born, and where her +Circassian lover is still deploring the absence of his Zuleikah. +No entreaties will move the obdurate Hassan. He +laughs at the notion of the Circassian bridegroom. +Zuleikah covers her face with her hands and drops down in +an attitude of the most beautiful despair. There seems to +be no hope for her, when--when the Kislar Aga appears. + +The Kislar Aga brings a letter from the Sultan. Hassan +receives and places on his head the dread firman. A +ghastly terror seizes him, while on the Negro's face (it is +Mesrour again in another costume) appears a ghastly +joy. "Mercy! mercy!" cries the Pasha: while the Kislar +Aga, grinning horribly, pulls out--a bow-string. + +The curtain draws just as he is going to use that awful +weapon. Hassan from within bawls out, "First two +syllables"--and Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who is going to act in +the charade, comes forward and compliments Mrs. +Winkworth on the admirable taste and beauty of her +costume. + +The second part of the charade takes place. It is still +an Eastern scene. Hassan, in another dress, is in an +attitude by Zuleikah, who is perfectly reconciled to him. +The Kislar Aga has become a peaceful black slave. It is +sunrise on the desert, and the Turks turn their heads +eastwards and bow to the sand. As there are no dromedaries +at hand, the band facetiously plays "The Camels +are coming." An enormous Egyptian head figures in the +scene. It is a musical one--and, to the surprise of the +oriental travellers, sings a comic song, composed by Mr. +Wagg. The Eastern voyagers go off dancing, like +Papageno and the Moorish King in The Magic Flute. "Last +two syllables," roars the head. + +The last act opens. It is a Grecian tent this time. A +tall and stalwart man reposes on a couch there. Above +him hang his helmet and shield. There is no need for +them now. Ilium is down. Iphigenia is slain. Cassandra is +a prisoner in his outer halls. The king of men (it is +Colonel Crawley, who, indeed, has no notion about the sack +of Ilium or the conquest of Cassandra), the anax andron +is asleep in his chamber at Argos. A lamp casts the +broad shadow of the sleeping warrior flickering on the +wall--the sword and shield of Troy glitter in its light. +The band plays the awful music of Don Juan, before the +statue enters. + +Aegisthus steals in pale and on tiptoe. What is that +ghastly face looking out balefully after him from behind +the arras? He raises his dagger to strike the sleeper, who +turns in his bed, and opens his broad chest as if for the +blow. He cannot strike the noble slumbering chieftain. +Clytemnestra glides swiftly into the room like an +apparition--her arms are bare and white--her tawny hair +floats down her shoulders--her face is deadly pale--and +her eyes are lighted up with a smile so ghastly that +people quake as they look at her. + +A tremor ran through the room. "Good God!" somebody +said, "it's Mrs. Rawdon Crawley." + +Scornfully she snatches the dagger out of Aegisthus's +hand and advances to the bed. You see it shining over +her head in the glimmer of the lamp, and--and the lamp +goes out, with a groan, and all is dark. + +The darkness and the scene frightened people. Rebecca +performed her part so well, and with such ghastly +truth, that the spectators were all dumb, until, with a +burst, all the lamps of the hall blazed out again, when +everybody began to shout applause. "Brava! brava!" old +Steyne's strident voice was heard roaring over all the +rest. "By--, she'd do it too," he said between his teeth. +The performers were called by the whole house, which +sounded with cries of "Manager! Clytemnestra!" +Agamemnon could not be got to show in his classical +tunic, but stood in the background with Aegisthus and +others of the performers of the little play. Mr. Bedwin +Sands led on Zuleikah and Clytemnestra. A great +personage insisted on being presented to the charming +Clytemnestra. "Heigh ha? Run him through the body. +Marry somebody else, hay?" was the apposite remark +made by His Royal Highness. + +"Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was quite killing in the part," +said Lord Steyne. Becky laughed, gay and saucy looking, +and swept the prettiest little curtsey ever seen. + +Servants brought in salvers covered with numerous cool +dainties, and the performers disappeared to get ready +for the second charade-tableau. + +The three syllables of this charade were to be depicted +in pantomime, and the performance took place in the +following wise: + +First syllable. Colonel Rawdon Crawley, C.B., with a +slouched hat and a staff, a great-coat, and a lantern +borrowed from the stables, passed across the stage bawling +out, as if warning the inhabitants of the hour. In the +lower window are seen two bagmen playing apparently +at the game of cribbage, over which they yawn much. +To them enters one looking like Boots (the Honourable +G. Ringwood), which character the young gentleman +performed to perfection, and divests them of their lower +coverings; and presently Chambermaid (the Right +Honourable Lord Southdown) with two candlesticks, and a +warming-pan. She ascends to the upper apartment and +warms the bed. She uses the warming-pan as a weapon +wherewith she wards off the attention of the bagmen. +She exits. They put on their night-caps and pull down +the blinds. Boots comes out and closes the shutters of +the ground-floor chamber. You hear him bolting and +chaining the door within. All the lights go out. The music +plays Dormez, dormez, chers Amours. A voice from +behind the curtain says, "First syllable." + +Second syllable. The lamps are lighted up all of a +sudden. The music plays the old air from John of Paris, +Ah quel plaisir d'etre en voyage. It is the same scene. +Between the first and second floors of the house +represented, you behold a sign on which the Steyne arms +are painted. All the bells are ringing all over the house. +In the lower apartment you see a man with a long slip of +paper presenting it to another, who shakes his fists, +threatens and vows that it is monstrous. "Ostler, bring +round my gig," cries another at the door. He chucks +Chambermaid (the Right Honourable Lord Southdown) +under the chin; she seems to deplore his absence, as +Calypso did that of that other eminent traveller Ulysses. +Boots (the Honourable G. Ringwood) passes with a +wooden box, containing silver flagons, and cries "Pots" +with such exquisite humour and naturalness that the +whole house rings with applause, and a bouquet is thrown +to him. Crack, crack, crack, go the whips. Landlord, +chambermaid, waiter rush to the door, but just as some +distinguished guest is arriving, the curtains close, and the +invisible theatrical manager cries out "Second syllable." + +"I think it must be 'Hotel,' " says Captain Grigg of the +Life Guards; there is a general laugh at the Captain's +cleverness. He is not very far from the mark. + +While the third syllable is in preparation, the band +begins a nautical medley--"All in the Downs," "Cease Rude +Boreas," "Rule Britannia," "In the Bay of Biscay O!"-- +some maritime event is about to take place. A ben is +heard ringing as the curtain draws aside. "Now, gents, +for the shore!" a voice exclaims. People take leave of +each other. They point anxiously as if towards the clouds, +which are represented by a dark curtain, and they nod +their heads in fear. Lady Squeams (the Right Honourable +Lord Southdown), her lap-dog, her bags, reticules, and +husband sit down, and cling hold of some ropes. It is +evidently a ship. + +The Captain (Colonel Crawley, C.B.), with a cocked +hat and a telescope, comes in, holding his hat on his +head, and looks out; his coat tails fly about as if in the +wind. When he leaves go of his hat to use his telescope, +his hat flies off, with immense applause. It is blowing +fresh. The music rises and whistles louder and louder; +the mariners go across the stage staggering, as if the ship +was in severe motion. The Steward (the Honourable G. +Ringwood) passes reeling by, holding six basins. He puts +one rapidly by Lord Squeams--Lady Squeams, giving a +pinch to her dog, which begins to howl piteously, puts +her pocket-handkerchief to her face, and rushes away as +for the cabin. The music rises up to the wildest pitch of +stormy excitement, and the third syllable is concluded. + +There was a little ballet, "Le Rossignol," in which +Montessu and Noblet used to be famous in those days, +and which Mr. Wagg transferred to the English stage as +an opera, putting his verse, of which he was a skilful +writer, to the pretty airs of the ballet. It was dressed in +old French costume, and little Lord Southdown now +appeared admirably attired in the disguise of an old woman +hobbling about the stage with a faultless crooked stick. + +Trills of melody were heard behind the scenes, and +gurgling from a sweet pasteboard cottage covered with +roses and trellis work. "Philomele, Philomele," cries +the old woman, and Philomele comes out. + +More applause--it is Mrs. Rawdon Crawley in powder +and patches, the most ravissante little Marquise in the +world. + +She comes in laughing, humming, and frisks about the +stage with all the innocence of theatrical youth--she +makes a curtsey. Mamma says "Why, child, you are +always laughing and singing," and away she goes, with-- + +THE ROSE UPON MY BALCONY + +The rose upon my balcony the morning air perfuming +Was leafless all the winter time and pining for the spring; +You ask me why her breath is sweet and why her cheek is + blooming, +It is because the sun is out and birds begin to sing. + +The nightingale, whose melody is through the greenwood + ringing, +Was silent when the boughs were bare and winds were + blowing keen: +And if, Mamma, you ask of me the reason of his singing, +It is because the sun is out and all the leaves are green. + +Thus each performs his part, Mamma, the birds have found + their voices, +The blowing rose a flush, Mamma, her bonny cheek to + dye; +And there's sunshine in my heart, Mamma, which wakens + and rejoices, +And so I sing and blush, Mamma, and that's the reason + why. + +During the intervals of the stanzas of this ditty, the +good-natured personage addressed as Mamma by the +singer, and whose large whiskers appeared under her cap, +seemed very anxious to exhibit her maternal affection +by embracing the innocent creature who performed the +daughter's part. Every caress was received with loud +acclamations of laughter by the sympathizing audience. +At its conclusion (while the music was performing a +symphony as if ever so many birds were warbling) the +whole house was unanimous for an encore: and applause +and bouquets without end were showered upon the +Nightingale of the evening. Lord Steyne's voice of +applause was loudest of all. Becky, the nightingale, took +the flowers which he threw to her and pressed them to +her heart with the air of a consummate comedian. Lord +Steyne was frantic with delight. His guests' enthusiasm +harmonized with his own. Where was the beautiful +black-eyed Houri whose appearance in the first charade had +caused such delight? She was twice as handsome as +Becky, but the brilliancy of the latter had quite eclipsed +her. All voices were for her. Stephens, Caradori, Ronzi +de Begnis, people compared her to one or the other, and +agreed with good reason, very likely, that had she been +an actress none on the stage could have surpassed her. +She had reached her culmination: her voice rose trilling +and bright over the storm of applause, and soared as +high and joyful as her triumph. There was a ball after +the dramatic entertainments, and everybody pressed +round Becky as the great point of attraction of the +evening. The Royal Personage declared with an oath that +she was perfection, and engaged her again and again in +conversation. Little Becky's soul swelled with pride and +delight at these honours; she saw fortune, fame, fashion +before her. Lord Steyne was her slave, followed her +everywhere, and scarcely spoke to any one in the room +beside, and paid her the most marked compliments and +attention. She still appeared in her Marquise costume +and danced a minuet with Monsieur de Truffigny, +Monsieur Le Duc de la Jabotiere's attache; and the +Duke, who had all the traditions of the ancient court, +pronounced that Madame Crawley was worthy to have +been a pupil of Vestris, or to have figured at Versailles. +Only a feeling of dignity, the gout, and the strongest +sense of duty and personal sacrifice prevented his +Excellency from dancing with her himself, and he declared +in public that a lady who could talk and dance like Mrs. +Rawdon was fit to be ambassadress at any court in +Europe. He was only consoled when he heard that she +was half a Frenchwoman by birth. "None but a +compatriot," his Excellency declared, "could have performed +that majestic dance in such a way." + +Then she figured in a waltz with Monsieur de +Klingenspohr, the Prince of Peterwaradin's cousin and +attache. The delighted Prince, having less retenue than +his French diplomatic colleague, insisted upon taking a +turn with the charming creature, and twirled round the +ball-room with her, scattering the diamonds out of his +boot-tassels and hussar jacket until his Highness was fairly +out of breath. Papoosh Pasha himself would have liked +to dance with her if that amusement had been the custom +of his country. The company made a circle round her +and applauded as wildly as if she had been a Noblet or +a Taglioni. Everybody was in ecstacy; and Becky too, +you may be sure. She passed by Lady Stunnington with +a look of scorn. She patronized Lady Gaunt and her +astonished and mortified sister-in-law--she ecrased all +rival charmers. As for poor Mrs. Winkworth, and her +long hair and great eyes, which had made such an effect +at the commencement of the evening--where was she +now? Nowhere in the race. She might tear her long hair +and cry her great eyes out, but there was not a person +to heed or to deplore the discomfiture. + +The greatest triumph of all was at supper time. She +was placed at the grand exclusive table with his Royal +Highness the exalted personage before mentioned, and +the rest of the great guests. She was served on gold +plate. She might have had pearls melted into her +champagne if she liked--another Cleopatra--and the potentate +of Peterwaradin would have given half the brilliants off +his jacket for a kind glance from those dazzling eyes. +Jabotiere wrote home about her to his government. The +ladies at the other tables, who supped off mere silver and +marked Lord Steyne's constant attention to her, vowed +it was a monstrous infatuation, a gross insult to ladies of +rank. If sarcasm could have killed, Lady Stunnington +would have slain her on the spot. + +Rawdon Crawley was scared at these triumphs. They +seemed to separate his wife farther than ever from him +somehow. He thought with a feeling very like pain how +immeasurably she was his superior. + +When the hour of departure came, a crowd of young +men followed her to her carriage, for which the people +without bawled, the cry being caught up by the link-men +who were stationed outside the tall gates of Gaunt +House, congratulating each person who issued from the +gate and hoping his Lordship had enjoyed this noble +party. + +Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's carriage, coming up to the +gate after due shouting, rattled into the illuminated +court-yard and drove up to the covered way. Rawdon +put his wife into the carriage, which drove off. Mr. +Wenham had proposed to him to walk home, and offered +the Colonel the refreshment of a cigar. + +They lighted their cigars by the lamp of one of the +many link-boys outside, and Rawdon walked on with his +friend Wenham. Two persons separated from the crowd +and followed the two gentlemen; and when they had +walked down Gaunt Square a few score of paces, one +of the men came up and, touching Rawdon on the shoulder, +said, "Beg your pardon, Colonel, I vish to speak to +you most particular." This gentleman's acquaintance +gave a loud whistle as the latter spoke, at which signal a +cab came clattering up from those stationed at the gate +of Gaunt House--and the aide-de-camp ran round and +placed himself in front of Colonel Crawley. + +That gallant officer at once knew what had befallen +him. He was in the hands of the bailiffs. He started back, +falling against the man who had first touched him. + +"We're three on us--it's no use bolting," the man +behind said. + +"It's you, Moss, is it?" said the Colonel, who appeared +to know his interlocutor. "How much is it?" + +"Only a small thing," whispered Mr. Moss, of Cursitor +Street, Chancery Lane, and assistant officer to the Sheriff +of Middlesex--"One hundred and sixty-six, six and eight- +pence, at the suit of Mr. Nathan." + +"Lend me a hundred, Wenham, for God's sake," poor +Rawdon said--"I've got seventy at home." + +"I've not got ten pounds in the world," said poor Mr. +Wenham--"Good night, my dear fellow." + +"Good night," said Rawdon ruefully. And Wenham +walked away--and Rawdon Crawley finished his cigar +as the cab drove under Temple Bar. + + + + +CHAPTER LII + + +In Which Lord Steyne Shows Himself in a Most Amiable Light + +When Lord Steyne was benevolently disposed, he did +nothing by halves, and his kindness towards the Crawley +family did the greatest honour to his benevolent +discrimination. His lordship extended his good-will to little +Rawdon: he pointed out to the boy's parents the necessity +of sending him to a public school, that he was of +an age now when emulation, the first principles of the +Latin language, pugilistic exercises, and the society of +his fellow-boys would be of the greatest benefit to the +boy. His father objected that he was not rich enough to +send the child to a good public school; his mother that +Briggs was a capital mistress for him, and had brought +him on (as indeed was the fact) famously in English, +the Latin rudiments, and in general learning: but all these +objections disappeared before the generous perseverance +of the Marquis of Steyne. His lordship was one of the +governors of that famous old collegiate institution called +the Whitefriars. It had been a Cistercian Convent in old +days, when the Smithfield, which is contiguous to it, was +a tournament ground. Obstinate heretics used to be +brought thither convenient for burning hard by. Henry +VIII, the Defender of the Faith, seized upon the +monastery and its possessions and hanged and tortured some +of the monks who could not accommodate themselves to +the pace of his reform. Finally, a great merchant bought +the house and land adjoining, in which, and with the help +of other wealthy endowments of land and money, he +established a famous foundation hospital for old men +and children. An extern school grew round the old almost +monastic foundation, which subsists still with its +middle-age costume and usages--and all Cistercians pray +that it may long flourish. + +Of this famous house, some of the greatest noblemen, +prelates, and dignitaries in England are governors: and +as the boys are very comfortably lodged, fed, and +educated, and subsequently inducted to good scholarships +at the University and livings in the Church, many little +gentlemen are devoted to the ecclesiastical profession +from their tenderest years, and there is considerable +emulation to procure nominations for the foundation. It +was originally intended for the sons of poor and +deserving clerics and laics, but many of the noble governors +of the Institution, with an enlarged and rather capricious +benevolence, selected all sorts of objects for their bounty. +To get an education for nothing, and a future livelihood +and profession assured, was so excellent a scheme that +some of the richest people did not disdain it; and not +only great men's relations, but great men themselves, sent +their sons to profit by the chance--Right Rev. prelates +sent their own kinsmen or the sons of their clergy, while, +on the other hand, some great noblemen did not disdain +to patronize the children of their confidential servants-- +so that a lad entering this establishment had every +variety of youthful society wherewith to mingle. + +Rawdon Crawley, though the only book which he studied +was the Racing Calendar, and though his chief +recollections of polite learning were connected with the +floggings which he received at Eton in his early youth, +had that decent and honest reverence for classical learning +which all English gentlemen feel, and was glad to think +that his son was to have a provision for life, perhaps, +and a certain opportunity of becoming a scholar. And +although his boy was his chief solace and companion, and +endeared to him by a thousand small ties, about which +he did not care to speak to his wife, who had all along +shown the utmost indifference to their son, yet Rawdon +agreed at once to part with him and to give up his own +greatest comfort and benefit for the sake of the welfare +of the little lad. He did not know how fond he was of +the child until it became necessary to let him go away. +When he was gone, he felt more sad and downcast than +he cared to own--far sadder than the boy himself, who +was happy enough to enter a new career and find +companions of his own age. Becky burst out laughing once +or twice when the Colonel, in his clumsy, incoherent way, +tried to express his sentimental sorrows at the boy's +departure. The poor fellow felt that his dearest pleasure +and closest friend was taken from him. He looked often +and wistfully at the little vacant bed in his dressing-room, +where the child used to sleep. He missed him sadly of +mornings and tried in vain to walk in the park without +him. He did not know how solitary he was until little +Rawdon was gone. He liked the people who were fond of +him, and would go and sit for long hours with his +good-natured sister Lady Jane, and talk to her about +the virtues, and good looks, and hundred good qualities +of the child. + +Young Rawdon's aunt, we have said, was very fond +of him, as was her little girl, who wept copiously when +the time for her cousin's departure came. The elder +Rawdon was thankful for the fondness of mother and +daughter. The very best and honestest feelings of the +man came out in these artless outpourings of paternal +feeling in which he indulged in their presence, and +encouraged by their sympathy. He secured not only Lady +Jane's kindness, but her sincere regard, by the feelings +which he manifested, and which he could not show to his +own wife. The two kinswomen met as seldom as possible. +Becky laughed bitterly at Jane's feelings and softness; +the other's kindly and gentle nature could not but revolt +at her sister's callous behaviour. + +It estranged Rawdon from his wife more than he knew +or acknowledged to himself. She did not care for the +estrangement. Indeed, she did not miss him or anybody. +She looked upon him as her errand-man and humble +slave. He might be ever so depressed or sulky, and she +did not mark his demeanour, or only treated it with a +sneer. She was busy thinking about her position, or her +pleasures, or her advancement in society; she ought to +have held a great place in it, that is certain. + +It was honest Briggs who made up the little kit for the +boy which he was to take to school. Molly, the housemaid, +blubbered in the passage when he went away-- +Molly kind and faithful in spite of a long arrear of +unpaid wages. Mrs. Becky could not let her husband have +the carriage to take the boy to school. Take the horses +into the City!--such a thing was never heard of. Let a +cab be brought. She did not offer to kiss him when he +went, nor did the child propose to embrace her; but +gave a kiss to old Briggs (whom, in general, he was very +shy of caressing), and consoled her by pointing out that +he was to come home on Saturdays, when she would +have the benefit of seeing him. As the cab rolled towards +the City, Becky's carriage rattled off to the park. She +was chattering and laughing with a score of young dandies +by the Serpentine as the father and son entered at the +old gates of the school--where Rawdon left the child +and came away with a sadder purer feeling in his heart +than perhaps that poor battered fellow had ever known +since he himself came out of the nursery. + +He walked all the way home very dismally, and dined +alone with Briggs. He was very kind to her and grateful +for her love and watchfulness over the boy. His +conscience smote him that he had borrowed Briggs's money +and aided in deceiving her. They talked about little +Rawdon a long time, for Becky only came home to dress +and go out to dinner--and then he went off uneasily to +drink tea with Lady Jane, and tell her of what had +happened, and how little Rawdon went off like a trump, and +how he was to wear a gown and little knee-breeches, and +how young Blackball, Jack Blackball's son, of the old +regiment, had taken him in charge and promised to be +kind to him. + +In the course of a week, young Blackball had +constituted little Rawdon his fag, shoe-black, and breakfast +toaster; initiated him into the mysteries of the Latin +Grammar; and thrashed him three or four times, but not +severely. The little chap's good-natured honest face won +his way for him. He only got that degree of beating which +was, no doubt, good for him; and as for blacking shoes, +toasting bread, and fagging in general, were these offices +not deemed to be necessary parts of every young English +gentleman's education? + +Our business does not lie with the second generation +and Master Rawdon's life at school, otherwise the present +tale might be carried to any indefinite length. The Colonel +went to see his son a short time afterwards and found +the lad sufficiently well and happy, grinning and laughing +in his little black gown and little breeches. + +His father sagaciously tipped Blackball, his master, a +sovereign, and secured that young gentleman's good-will +towards his fag. As a protege of the great Lord Steyne, +the nephew of a County member, and son of a Colonel +and C.B., whose name appeared in some of the most +fashionable parties in the Morning Post, perhaps the +school authorities were disposed not to look unkindly on +the child. He had plenty of pocket-money, which he +spent in treating his comrades royally to raspberry tarts, +and he was often allowed to come home on Saturdays +to his father, who always made a jubilee of that day. +When free, Rawdon would take him to the play, or send +him thither with the footman; and on Sundays he went to +church with Briggs and Lady Jane and his cousins. +Rawdon marvelled over his stories about school, and +fights, and fagging. Before long, he knew the names of all +the masters and the principal boys as well as little +Rawdon himself. He invited little Rawdon's crony from +school, and made both the children sick with pastry, and +oysters, and porter after the play. He tried to look knowing +over the Latin grammar when little Rawdon showed +him what part of that work he was "in." "Stick to it, my +boy," he said to him with much gravity, "there's nothing +like a good classical education! Nothing!" + +Becky's contempt for her husband grew greater every +day. "Do what you like--dine where you please--go and +have ginger-beer and sawdust at Astley's, or psalm- +singing with Lady Jane--only don't expect me to busy +myself with the boy. I have your interests to attend to, +as you can't attend to them yourself. I should like to +know where you would have been now, and in what sort +of a position in society, if I had not looked after you." +Indeed, nobody wanted poor old Rawdon at the parties +whither Becky used to go. She was often asked without +him now. She talked about great people as if she had the +fee-simple of May Fair, and when the Court went into +mourning, she always wore black. + +Little Rawdon being disposed of, Lord Steyne, who +took such a parental interest in the affairs of this amiable +poor family, thought that their expenses might be very +advantageously curtailed by the departure of Miss Briggs, +and that Becky was quite clever enough to take the +management of her own house. It has been narrated in a +former chapter how the benevolent nobleman had given +his protegee money.to pay off her little debt to Miss +Briggs, who however still remained behind with her +friends; whence my lord came to the painful conclusion +that Mrs. Crawley had made some other use of the +money confided to her than that for which her generous +patron had given the loan. However, Lord Steyne was +not so rude as to impart his suspicions upon this head to +Mrs. Becky, whose feelings might be hurt by any +controversy on the money-question, and who might have a +thousand painful reasons for disposing otherwise of his +lordship's generous loan. But he determined to satisfy +himself of the real state of the case, and instituted the +necessary inquiries in a most cautious and delicate +manner. + +In the first place he took an early opportunity of +pumping Miss Briggs. That was not a difficult operation. +A very little encouragement would set that worthy woman +to talk volubly and pour out all within her. And one day +when Mrs. Rawdon had gone out to drive (as Mr. Fiche, +his lordship's confidential servant, easily learned at the +livery stables where the Crawleys kept their carriage and +horses, or rather, where the livery-man kept a carriage +and horses for Mr. and Mrs. Crawley)--my lord dropped +in upon the Curzon Street house--asked Briggs for a cup +of coffee--told her that he had good accounts of the little +boy at school--and in five minutes found out from her +that Mrs. Rawdon had given her nothing except a black +silk gown, for which Miss Briggs was immensely grateful. + +He laughed within himself at this artless story. For the +truth is, our dear friend Rebecca had given him a most +circumstantial narration of Briggs's delight at receiving +her money--eleven hundred and twenty-five pounds-- +and in what securities she had invested it; and what a +pang Becky herself felt in being obliged to pay away such +a delightful sum of money. "Who knows," the dear +woman may have thought within herself, "perhaps he +may give me a little more?" My lord, however, made no +such proposal to the little schemer--very likely thinking +that he had been sufficiently generous already. + +He had the curiosity, then, to ask Miss Briggs about +the state of her private affairs--and she told his lordship +candidly what her position was--how Miss Crawley had +left her a legacy--how her relatives had had part of it +--how Colonel Crawley had put out another portion, for +which she had the best security and interest--and how +Mr. and Mrs. Rawdon had kindly busied themselves with +Sir Pitt, who was to dispose of the remainder most +advantageously for her, when he had time. My lord asked +how much the Colonel had already invested for her, and +Miss Briggs at once and truly told him that the sum was +six hundred and odd pounds. + +But as soon as she had told her story, the voluble +Briggs repented of her frankness and besought my lord +not to tell Mr. Crawley of the confessions which she had +made. "The Colonel was so kind--Mr. Crawley might +be offended and pay back the money, for which she +could get no such good interest anywhere else." Lord +Steyne, laughing, promised he never would divulge their +conversation, and when he and Miss Briggs parted he +laughed still more. + +"What an accomplished little devil it is!" thought he. +"What a splendid actress and manager! She had almost +got a second supply out of me the other day; with her +coaxing ways. She beats all the women I have ever seen +in the course of all my well-spent life. They are babies +compared to her. I am a greenhorn myself, and a fool in +her hands--an old fool. She is unsurpassable in lies." +His lordship's admiration for Becky rose immeasurably +at this proof of her cleverness. Getting the money was +nothing--but getting double the sum she wanted, and +paying nobody--it was a magnificent stroke. And Crawley, +my lord thought--Crawley is not such a fool as he +looks and seems. He has managed the matter cleverly +enough on his side. Nobody would ever have supposed +from his face and demeanour that he knew anything +about this money business; and yet he put her up to it, +and has spent the money, no doubt. In this opinion my +lord, we know, was mistaken, but it influenced a good +deal his behaviour towards Colonel Crawley, whom he +began to treat with even less than that semblance of +respect which he had formerly shown towards that +gentleman. It never entered into the head of Mrs. +Crawley's patron that the little lady might be making a +purse for herself; and, perhaps, if the truth must be told, +he judged of Colonel Crawley by his experience of other +husbands, whom he had known in the course of the long +and well-spent life which had made him acquainted with +a great deal of the weakness of mankind. My lord had +bought so many men during his life that he was surely +to be pardoned for supposing that he had found the price +of this one. + +He taxed Becky upon the point on the very first occasion +when he met her alone, and he complimented her, +good-humouredly, on her cleverness in getting more than +the money which she required. Becky was only a little +taken aback. It was not the habit of this dear creature +to tell falsehoods, except when necessity compelled, but +in these great emergencies it was her practice to lie very +freely; and in an instant she was ready with another neat +plausible circumstantial story which she administered to +her patron. The previous statement which she had made +to him was a falsehood--a wicked falsehood--she +owned it. But who had made her tell it? "Ah, my Lord," +she said, "you don't know all I have to suffer and bear +in silence; you see me gay and happy before you--you +little know what I have to endure when there is no +protector near me. It was my husband, by threats and +the most savage treatment, forced me to ask for that +sum about which I deceived you. It was he who, +foreseeing that questions might be asked regarding the +disposal of the money, forced me to account for it as I +did. He took the money. He told me he had paid Miss +Briggs; I did not want, I did not dare to doubt him. +Pardon the wrong which a desperate man is forced to +commit, and pity a miserable, miserable woman." She +burst into tears as she spoke. Persecuted virtue never +looked more bewitchingly wretched. + +They had a long conversation, driving round and round +the Regent's Park in Mrs. Crawley's carriage together, +a conversation of which it is not necessary to repeat +the details, but the upshot of it was that, when Becky +came home, she flew to her dear Briggs with a smiling +face and announced that she had some very good news +for her. Lord Steyne had acted in the noblest and most +generous manner. He was always thinking how and when +he could do good. Now that little Rawdon was gone to +school, a dear companion and friend was no longer +necessary to her. She was grieved beyond measure to part +with Briggs, but her means required that she should +practise every retrenchment, and her sorrow was +mitigated by the idea that her dear Briggs would be far +better provided for by her generous patron than in her +humble home. Mrs. Pilkington, the housekeeper at Gauntly +Hall, was growing exceedingly old, feeble, and rheumatic: +she was not equal to the work of superintending +that vast mansion, and must be on the look out for a +successor. It was a splendid position. The family did not +go to Gauntly once in two years. At other times the +housekeeper was the mistress of the magnificent +mansion--had four covers daily for her table; was visited by +the clergy and the most respectable people of the county +--was the lady of Gauntly, in fact; and the two last +housekeepers before Mrs. Pilkington had married rectors +of Gauntly--but Mrs. P. could not, being the aunt of +the present Rector. The place was not to be hers yet, +but she might go down on a visit to Mrs. Pilkington and +see whether she would like to succeed her. + +What words can paint the ecstatic gratitude of Briggs! +All she stipulated for was that little Rawdon should be +allowed to come down and see her at the Hall. Becky +promised this--anything. She ran up to her husband when +he came home and told him the joyful news. Rawdon +was glad, deuced glad; the weight was off his conscience +about poor Briggs's money. She was provided for, at any +rate, but--but his mind was disquiet. He did not seem +to be all right, somehow. He told little Southdown what +Lord Steyne had done, and the young man eyed Crawley +with an air which surprised the latter. + +He told Lady Jane of this second proof of Steyne's +bounty, and she, too, looked odd and alarmed; so did +Sir Pitt. "She is too clever and--and gay to be allowed +to go from party to party without a companion," both +said. "You must go with her, Rawdon, wherever she +goes, and you must have somebody with her--one of the +girls from Queen's Crawley, perhaps, though they were +rather giddy guardians for her." + +Somebody Becky should have. But in the meantime +it was clear that honest Briggs must not lose her chance +of settlement for life, and so she and her bags were +packed, and she set off on her journey. And so two of +Rawdon's out-sentinels were in the hands of the enemy. + +Sir Pitt went and expostulated with his sister-in-law +upon the subject of the dismissal of Briggs and other +matters of delicate family interest. In vain she pointed +out to him how necessary was the protection of Lord +Steyne for her poor husband; how cruel it would be on +their part to deprive Briggs of the position offered to her. +Cajolements, coaxings, smiles, tears could not satisfy Sir +Pitt, and he had something very like a quarrel with his +once admired Becky. He spoke of the honour of the +family, the unsullied reputation of the Crawleys; +expressed himself in indignant tones about her receiving +those young Frenchmen--those wild young men of fashion, +my Lord Steyne himself, whose carriage was always +at her door, who passed hours daily in her company, +and whose constant presence made the world talk about +her. As the head of the house he implored her to be +more prudent. Society was already speaking lightly of +her. Lord Steyne, though a nobleman of the greatest +station and talents, was a man whose attentions would +compromise any woman; he besought, he implored, he +commanded his sister-in-law to be watchful in her +intercourse with that nobleman. + +Becky promised anything and everything Pitt wanted; +but Lord Steyne came to her house as often as ever, +and Sir Pitt's anger increased. I wonder was Lady Jane +angry or pleased that her husband at last found fault +with his favourite Rebecca? Lord Steyne's visits +continuing, his own ceased, and his wife was for refusing +all further intercourse with that nobleman and declining +the invitation to the charade-night which the marchioness +sent to her; but Sir Pitt thought it was necessary to +accept it, as his Royal Highness would be there. + +Although he went to the party in question, Sir Pitt +quitted it very early, and his wife, too, was very glad +to come away. Becky hardly so much as spoke to him or +noticed her sister-in-law. Pitt Crawley declared her +behaviour was monstrously indecorous, reprobated in +strong terms the habit of play-acting and fancy dressing +as highly unbecoming a British female, and after the +charades were over, took his brother Rawdon severely +to task for appearing himself and allowing his wife to +join in such improper exhibitions. + +Rawdon said she should not join in any more such +amusements--but indeed, and perhaps from hints from +his elder brother and sister, he had already become a +very watchful and exemplary domestic character. He left +off his clubs and billiards. He never left home. He took +Becky out to drive; he went laboriously with her to all +her parties. Whenever my Lord Steyne called, he was +sure to find the Colonel. And when Becky proposed to +go out without her husband, or received invitations for +herself, he peremptorily ordered her to refuse them: and +there was that in the gentleman's manner which enforced +obedience. Little Becky, to do her justice, was charmed +with Rawdon's gallantry. If he was surly, she never was. +Whether friends were present or absent, she had always +a kind smile for him and was attentive to his pleasure +and comfort. It was the early days of their marriage over +again: the same good humour, prevenances, merriment, +and artless confidence and regard. "How much pleasanter +it is," she would say, "to have you by my side in the +carriage than that foolish old Briggs! Let us always go on +so, dear Rawdon. How nice it would be, and how happy +we should always be, if we had but the money!" He +fell asleep after dinner in his chair; he did not see the +face opposite to him, haggard, weary, and terrible; it +lighted up with fresh candid smiles when he woke. It +kissed him gaily. He wondered that he had ever had +suspicions. No, he never had suspicions; all those dumb +doubts and surly misgivings which had been gathering on +his mind were mere idle jealousies. She was fond of him; +she always had been. As for her shining in society, it +was no fault of hers; she was formed to shine there. +Was there any woman who could talk, or sing, or do +anything like her? If she would but like the boy! +Rawdon thought. But the mother and son never could be +brought together. + +And it was while Rawdon's mind was agitated with +these doubts and perplexities that the incident occurred +which was mentioned in the last chapter, and the +unfortunate Colonel found himself a prisoner away from +home. + + + + +CHAPTER LIII + + + +Friend Rawdon drove on then to Mr. Moss's mansion +in Cursitor Street, and was duly inducted into that +dismal place of hospitality. Morning was breaking +over the cheerful house-tops of Chancery Lane as the +rattling cab woke up the echoes there. A little +pink-eyed Jew-boy, with a head as ruddy as the rising +morn, let the party into the house, and Rawdon was +welcomed to the ground-floor apartments by Mr. Moss, his +travelling companion and host, who cheerfully asked him +if he would like a glass of something warm after his drive. + +The Colonel was not so depressed as some mortals +would be, who, quitting a palace and a placens uxor, +find themselves barred into a spunging-house; for, if the +truth must be told, he had been a lodger at Mr. Moss's +establishment once or twice before. We have not thought +it necessary in the previous course of this narrative to +mention these trivial little domestic incidents: but the +reader may be assured that they can't unfrequently occur +in the life of a man who lives on nothing a year. + +Upon his first visit to Mr. Moss, the Colonel, then +a bachelor, had been liberated by the generosity of his +aunt; on the second mishap, little Becky, with the greatest +spirit and kindness, had borrowed a sum of money from +Lord Southdown and had coaxed her husband's creditor +(who was her shawl, velvet-gown, lace pocket-handkerchief, +trinket, and gim-crack purveyor, indeed) to take +a portion of the sum claimed and Rawdon's promissory +note for the remainder: so on both these occasions the +capture and release had been conducted with the utmost +gallantry on all sides, and Moss and the Colonel were +therefore on the very best of terms. + +"You'll find your old bed, Colonel, and everything +comfortable," that gentleman said, "as I may honestly say. +You may be pretty sure its kep aired, and by the best +of company, too. It was slep in the night afore last by +the Honorable Capting Famish, of the Fiftieth Dragoons, +whose Mar took him out, after a fortnight, jest to punish +him, she said. But, Law bless you, I promise you, he +punished my champagne, and had a party ere every night +--reglar tip-top swells, down from the clubs and the +West End--Capting Ragg, the Honorable Deuceace, who +lives in the Temple, and some fellers as knows a good +glass of wine, I warrant you. I've got a Doctor of +Diwinity upstairs, five gents in the coffee-room, and Mrs. +Moss has a tably-dy-hoty at half-past five, and a little +cards or music afterwards, when we shall be most happy +to see you." + +"I'll ring when I want anything," said Rawdon and +went quietly to his bedroom. He was an old soldier, +we have said, and not to be disturbed by any little shocks +of fate. A weaker man would have sent off a letter to his +wife on the instant of his capture. "But what is the use +of disturbing her night's rest?" thought Rawdon. "She +won't know whether I am in my room or not. It will +be time enough to write to her when she has had her +sleep out, and I have had mine. It's only a hundred- +and-seventy, and the deuce is in it if we can't raise +that." And so, thinking about little Rawdon (whom he +would not have know that he was in such a queer place), +the Colonel turned into the bed lately occupied by +Captain Famish and fell asleep. It was ten o'clock when +he woke up, and the ruddy-headed youth brought him, +with conscious pride, a fine silver dressing-case, wherewith +he might perform the operation of shaving. Indeed +Mr. Moss's house, though somewhat dirty, was splendid +throughout. There were dirty trays, and wine-coolers en +permanence on the sideboard, huge dirty gilt cornices, +with dingy yellow satin hangings to the barred windows +which looked into Cursitor Street--vast and dirty gilt +picture frames surrounding pieces sporting and sacred, all +of which works were by the greatest masters--and fetched +the greatest prices, too, in the bill transactions, in the +course of which they were sold and bought over and +over again. The Colonel's breakfast was served to him +in the same dingy and gorgeous plated ware. Miss Moss, +a dark-eyed maid in curl-papers, appeared with the +teapot, and, smiling, asked the Colonel how he had slep? +And she brought him in the Morning Post, with the +names of all the great people who had figured at Lord +Steyne's entertainment the night before. It contained a +brilliant account of the festivities and of the beautiful +and accomplished Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's admirable +personifications. + +After a lively chat with this lady (who sat on the +edge of the breakfast table in an easy attitude displaying +the drapery of her stocking and an ex-white satin shoe, +which was down at heel), Colonel Crawley called for +pens and ink, and paper, and being asked how many +sheets, chose one which was brought to him between +Miss Moss's own finger and thumb. Many a sheet had +that dark-eyed damsel brought in; many a poor fellow +had scrawled and blotted hurried lines of entreaty and +paced up and down that awful room until his messenger +brought back the reply. Poor men always use messengers +instead of the post. Who has not had their letters, with +the wafers wet, and the announcement that a person +is waiting in the hall? + +Now on the score of his application, Rawdon had not +many misgivings. + +DEAR BECKY, (Rawdon wrote) + +I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL. Don't be FRIGHTENED if I don't +bring you in your COFFY. Last night as I was coming +home smoaking, I met with an ACCADENT. I was NABBED +by Moss of Cursitor Street--from whose GILT AND SPLENDID +PARLER I write this--the same that had me this time +two years. Miss Moss brought in my tea--she is grown +very FAT, and, as usual, had her STOCKENS DOWN AT HEAL. + +It's Nathan's business--a hundred-and-fifty--with +costs, hundred-and-seventy. Please send me my desk and +some CLOTHS--I'm in pumps and a white tye (something +like Miss M's stockings)--I've seventy in it. And as +soon as you get this, Drive to Nathan's--offer him +seventy-five down, and ASK HIM TO RENEW--say I'll take +wine--we may as well have some dinner sherry; but not +PICTURS, they're too dear. + +If he won't stand it. Take my ticker and such of your +things as you can SPARE, and send them to Balls--we +must, of coarse, have the sum to-night. It won't do to +let it stand over, as to-morrow's Sunday; the beds here +are not very CLEAN, and there may be other things out +against me--I'm glad it an't Rawdon's Saturday for +coming home. God bless you. + +Yours in haste, +R. C. +P.S. Make haste and come. + +This letter, sealed with a wafer, was dispatched by +one of the messengers who are always hanging about +Mr. Moss's establishment, and Rawdon, having seen him +depart, went out in the court-yard and smoked his cigar +with a tolerably easy mind--in spite of the bars +overhead--for Mr. Moss's court-yard is railed in like a cage, +lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should +take a fancy to escape from his hospitality. + +Three hours, he calculated, would be the utmost time +required, before Becky should arrive and open his prison +doors, and he passed these pretty cheerfully in smoking, +in reading the paper, and in the coffee-room with an +acquaintance, Captain Walker, who happened to be there, +and with whom he cut for sixpences for some hours, +with pretty equal luck on either side. + +But the day passed away and no messenger returned-- +no Becky. Mr. Moss's tably-dy-hoty was served at the +appointed hour of half-past five, when such of the gentlemen +lodging in the house as could afford to pay for the +banquet came and partook of it in the splendid front +parlour before described, and with which Mr. Crawley's +temporary lodging communicated, when Miss M. (Miss +Hem, as her papa called her) appeared without the curl- +papers of the morning, and Mrs. Hem did the honours +of a prime boiled leg of mutton and turnips, of which +the Colonel ate with a very faint appetite. Asked whether +he would "stand" a bottle of champagne for the +company, he consented, and the ladies drank to his 'ealth, +and Mr. Moss, in the most polite manner, "looked towards +him." + +In the midst of this repast, however, the doorbell was +heard--young Moss of the ruddy hair rose up with the +keys and answered the summons, and coming back, told +the Colonel that the messenger had returned with a bag, +a desk and a letter, which he gave him. "No ceramony, +Colonel, I beg," said Mrs. Moss with a wave of her +hand, and he opened the letter rather tremulously. It +was a beautiful letter, highly scented, on a pink paper, +and with a light green seal. + +MON PAUVRE CHER PETIT, (Mrs. Crawley wrote) + +I could not sleep ONE WINK for thinking of what had +become of my odious old monstre, and only got to rest +in the morning after sending for Mr. Blench (for I was +in a fever), who gave me a composing draught and left +orders with Finette that I should be disturbed ON NO +ACCOUNT. So that my poor old man's messenger, who had +bien mauvaise mine Finette says, and sentoit le Genievre, +remained in the hall for some hours waiting my bell. +You may fancy my state when I read your poor dear +old ill-spelt letter. + +Ill as I was, I instantly called for the carriage, and +as soon as I was dressed (though I couldn't drink a drop +of chocolate--I assure you I couldn't without my +monstre to bring it to me), I drove ventre a terre to +Nathan's. I saw him--I wept--I cried--I fell at hi~ +odious knees. Nothing would mollify the horrid man. +He would have all the money, he said, or keep my poor +monstre in prison. I drove home with the intention of +paying that triste visite chez mon oncle (when every +trinket I have should be at your disposal though they +would not fetch a hundred pounds, for some, you know, +are with ce cher oncle already), and found Milor there +with the Bulgarian old sheep-faced monster, who had +come to compliment me upon last night's performances. +Paddington came in, too, drawling and lisping and +twiddling his hair; so did Champignac, and his chef-- +everybody with foison of compliments and pretty speeches +--plaguing poor me, who longed to be rid of them, and +was thinking every moment of the time of mon pauvre +prisonnier. + +When they were gone, I went down on my knees to +Milor; told him we were going to pawn everything, and +begged and prayed him to give me two hundred pounds. +He pish'd and psha'd in a fury--told me not to be such +a fool as to pawn--and said he would see whether he +could lend me the money. At last he went away, +promising that he would send it me in the morning: when +I will bring it to my poor old monster with a kiss fro +his affectionate + +BECKY +I am writing in bed. Oh I have such a headache and +such a heartache! + +When Rawdon read over this letter, he turned so red +and looked so savage that the company at the table +d'hote easily perceived that bad news had reached +him. All his suspicions, which he had been trying to +banish, returned upon him. She could not even go out +and sell her trinkets to free him. She could laugh and +talk about compliments paid to her, whilst he was in +prison. Who had put him there? Wenham had walked +with him. Was there.... He could hardly bear to think +of what he suspected. Leaving the room hurriedly, he ran +into his own--opened his desk, wrote two hurried lines, +which he directed to Sir Pitt or Lady Crawley, and +bade the messenger carry them at once to Gaunt Street, +bidding him to take a cab, and promising him a guinea +if he was back in an hour. + +In the note he besought his dear brother and sister, +for the sake of God, for the sake of his dear child and +his honour, to come to him and relieve him from his +difficulty. He was in prison, he wanted a hundred pounds +to set him free--he entreated them to come to him. + +He went back to the dining-room after dispatching his +messenger and called for more wine. He laughed and +talked with a strange boisterousness, as the people +thought. Sometimes he laughed madly at his own fears +and went on drinking for an hour, listening all the while +for the carriage which was to bring his fate back. + +At the expiration of that time, wheels were heard +whirling up to the gate--the young janitor went out +with his gate-keys. It was a lady whom he let in at the +bailiff's door. + +"Colonel Crawley," she said, trembling very much. He, +with a knowing look, locked the outer door upon her-- +then unlocked and opened the inner one, and calling out, +"Colonel, you're wanted," led her into the back parlour, +which he occupied. + +Rawdon came in from the dining-parlour where all +those people were carousing, into his back room; a flare +of coarse light following him into the apartment where +the lady stood, still very nervous. + +"It is I, Rawdon," she said in a timid voice, which +she strove to render cheerful. "It is Jane." Rawdon was +quite overcome by that kind voice and presence. He ran +up to her--caught her in his arms--gasped out some +inarticulate words of thanks and fairly sobbed on her +shoulder. She did not know the cause of his emotion. + +The bills of Mr. Moss were quickly settled, perhaps +to the disappointment of that gentleman, who had counted +on having the Colonel as his guest over Sunday at least; +and Jane, with beaming smiles and happiness in her eyes, +carried away Rawdon from the bailiff's house, and they +went homewards in the cab in which she had hastened +to his release. "Pitt was gone to a parliamentary dinner," +she said, "when Rawdon's note came, and so, dear +Rawdon, I--I came myself"; and she put her kind hand in +his. Perhaps it was well for Rawdon Crawley that Pitt +was away at that dinner. Rawdon thanked his sister a +hundred times, and with an ardour of gratitude which +touched and almost alarmed that soft-hearted woman. +"Oh," said he, in his rude, artless way, "you--you don't +know how I'm changed since I've known you, and--and +little Rawdy. I--I'd like to change somehow. You see +I want--I want--to be--" He did- not finish the +sentence, but she could interpret it. And that night after he +left her, and as she sat by her own little boy's bed, she +prayed humbly for that poor way-worn sinner. + +Rawdon left her and walked home rapidly. It was nine +o'clock at night. He ran across the streets and the great +squares of Vanity Fair, and at length came up breathless +opposite his own house. He started back and fell against +the railings, trembling as he looked up. The drawing- +room windows were blazing with light. She had said that +she was in bed and ill. He stood there for some time, +the light from the rooms on his pale face. + +He took out his door-key and let himself into the +house. He could hear laughter in the upper rooms. He +was in the ball-dress in which he had been captured the +night before. He went silently up the stairs, leaning +against the banisters at the stair-head. Nobody was +stirring in the house besides--all the servants had been sent +away. Rawdon heard laughter within--laughter and singing. +Becky was singing a snatch of the song of the night +before; a hoarse voice shouted "Brava! Brava!"--it was +Lord Steyne's. + +Rawdon opened the door and went in. A little table +with a dinner was laid out--and wine and plate. Steyne +was hanging over the sofa on which Becky sat. The +wretched woman was in a brilliant full toilette, her arms +and all her fingers sparkling with bracelets and rings, +and the brilliants on her breast which Steyne had given +her. He had her hand in his, and was bowing over it +to kiss it, when Becky started up with a faint scream +as she caught sight of Rawdon's white face. At the next +instant she tried a smile, a horrid smile, as if to +welcome her husband; and Steyne rose up, grinding +his teeth, pale, and with fury in his looks. + +He, too, attempted a laugh--and came forward holding +out his hand. "What, come back! How d'ye do, Crawley?" +he said, the nerves of his mouth twitching as he +tried to grin at the intruder. + +There was that in Rawdon's face which caused Becky +to fling herself before him. "I am innocent, Rawdon," +she said; "before God, I am innocent." She clung hold +of his coat, of his hands; her own were all covered with +serpents, and rings, and baubles. "I am innocent. Say I +am innocent," she said to Lord Steyne. + +He thought a trap had been laid for him, and was as +furious with the wife as with the husband. "You +innocent! Damn you," he screamed out. "You innocent! Why +every trinket you have on your body is paid for by me. +I have given you thousands of pounds, which this fellow +has spent and for which he has sold you. Innocent, +by --! You're as innocent as your mother, the ballet- +girl, and your husband the bully. Don't think to frighten +me as you have done others. Make way, sir, and let me +pass"; and Lord Steyne seized up his hat, and, with +flame in his eyes, and looking his enemy fiercely in the +face, marched upon him, never for a moment doubting +that the other would give way. + +But Rawdon Crawley springing out, seized him by the +neckcloth, until Steyne, almost strangled, writhed and +bent under his arm. "You lie, you dog!" said Rawdon. +"You lie, you coward and villain!" And he struck the +Peer twice over the face with his open hand and flung +him bleeding to the ground. It was all done before +Rebecca could interpose. She stood there trembling before +him. She admired her husband, strong, brave, and +victorious. + +"Come here," he said. She came up at once. + +"Take off those things." She began, trembling, pulling +the jewels from her arms, and the rings from her shaking +fingers, and held them all in a heap, quivering and looking +up at him. "Throw them down," he said, and she +dropped them. He tore the diamond ornament out of her +breast and flung it at Lord Steyne. It cut him on his +bald forehead. Steyne wore the scar to his dying day. + +"Come upstairs," Rawdon said to his wife. "Don't kill +me, Rawdon," she said. He laughed savagely. "I want +to see if that man lies about the money as he has about +me. Has he given you any?" + +"No," said Rebecca, "that is--" + +"Give me your keys," Rawdon answered, and they +went out together. + +Rebecca gave him all the keys but one, and she was in +hopes that he would not have remarked the absence of +that. It belonged to the little desk which Amelia had +given her in early days, and which she kept in a secret +place. But Rawdon flung open boxes and wardrobes, +throwing the multifarious trumpery of their contents here +and there, and at last he found the desk. The woman was +forced to open it. It contained papers, love-letters many +years old--all sorts of small trinkets and woman's +memoranda. And it contained a pocket-book with bank-notes. +Some of these were dated ten years back, too, and one +was quite a fresh one--a note for a thousand pounds +which Lord Steyne had given her. + +"Did he give you this?" Rawdon said. + +"Yes," Rebecca answered. + +"I'll send it to him to-day," Rawdon said (for day had +dawned again, and many hours had passed in this search), +"and I will pay Briggs, who was kind to the boy, and +some of the debts. You will let me know where I shall +send the rest to you. You might have spared me a +hundred pounds, Becky, out of all this--I have always +shared with you." + +"I am innocent," said Becky. And he left her without +another word. + +What were her thoughts when he left her? She +remained for hours after he was gone, the sunshine +pouring into the room, and Rebecca sitting alone on the +bed's edge. The drawers were all opened and their contents +scattered about--dresses and feathers, scarfs and trinkets, +a heap of tumbled vanities lying in a wreck. Her hair +was falling over her shoulders; her gown was torn where +Rawdon had wrenched the brilliants out of it. She heard +him go downstairs a few minutes after he left her, and +the door slamming and closing on him. She knew he +would never come back. He was gone forever. Would +he kill himself?--she thought--not until after he had +met Lord Steyne. She thought of her long past life, and +all the dismal incidents of it. Ah, how dreary it seemed, +how miserable, lonely and profitless! Should she take +laudanum, and end it, to have done with all hopes, +schemes, debts, and triumphs? The French maid found +her in this position--sitting in the midst of her miserable +ruins with clasped hands and dry eyes. The woman was +her accomplice and in Steyne's pay. "Mon Dieu, +madame, what has happened?" she asked. + +What had happened? Was she guilty or not? She said +not, but who could tell what was truth which came from +those lips, or if that corrupt heart was in this case pure? + +All her lies and her schemes, an her selfishness and her +wiles, all her wit and genius had come to this +bankruptcy. The woman closed the curtains and, with some +entreaty and show of kindness, persuaded her mistress +to lie down on the bed. Then she went below and +gathered up the trinkets which had been lying on the floor +since Rebecca dropped them there at her husband's +orders, and Lord Steyne went away. + + + + +CHAPTER LIV + + +Sunday After the Battle + +The mansion of Sir Pitt Crawley, in Great Gaunt Street, +was just beginning to dress itself for the day, as Rawdon, +in his evening costume, which he had now worn +two days, passed by the scared female who was scouring +the steps and entered into his brother's study. Lady +Jane, in her morning-gown, was up and above stairs in +the nursery superintending the toilettes of her children +and listening to the morning prayers which the little +creatures performed at her knee. Every morning she and +they performed this duty privately, and before the public +ceremonial at which Sir Pitt presided and at which all the +people of the household were expected to assemble. +Rawdon sat down in the study before the Baronet's table, +set out with the orderly blue books and the letters, the +neatly docketed bills and symmetrical pamphlets, the +locked account-books, desks, and dispatch boxes, the +Bible, the Quarterly Review, and the Court Guide, which +all stood as if on parade awaiting the inspection of their +chief. + +A book of family sermons, one of which Sir Pitt was +in the habit of administering to his family on Sunday +mornings, lay ready on the study table, and awaiting his +judicious selection. And by the sermon-book was the +Observer newspaper, damp and neatly folded, and for +Sir Pitt's own private use. His gentleman alone took the +opportunity of perusing the newspaper before he laid it +by his master's desk. Before he had brought it into the +study that morning, he had read in the journal a flaming +account of "Festivities at Gaunt House," with the names +of all the distinguished personages invited by tho Marquis +of Steyne to meet his Royal Highness. Having made +comments upon this entertainment to the housekeeper +and her niece as they were taking early tea and hot +buttered toast in the former lady's apartment, and +wondered how the Rawding Crawleys could git on, the valet +had damped and folded the paper once more, so that it +looked quite fresh and innocent against the arrival of +the master of the house. + +Poor Rawdon took up the paper and began to try and +read it until his brother should arrive. But the print fell +blank upon his eyes, and he did not know in the least +what he was reading. The Government news and +appointments (which Sir Pitt as a public man was bound +to peruse, otherwise he would by no means permit the +introduction of Sunday papers into his household), the +theatrical criticisms, the fight for a hundred pounds +a side between the Barking Butcher and the Tutbury +Pet, the Gaunt House chronicle itself, which contained a +most complimentary though guarded account of the +famous charades of which Mrs. Becky had been the +heroine--all these passed as in a haze before Rawdon, as he +sat waiting the arrival of the chief of the family. + +Punctually, as the shrill-toned bell of the black marble +study clock began to chime nine, Sir Pitt made his +appearance, fresh, neat, smugly shaved, with a waxy clean +face, and stiff shirt collar, his scanty hair combed and +oiled, trimming his nails as he descended the stairs +majestically, in a starched cravat and a grey flannel +dressing-gown--a real old English gentleman, in a word-- +a model of neatness and every propriety. He started when +he saw poor Rawdon in his study in tumbled clothes, with +blood-shot eyes, and his hair over his face. He thought +his brother was not sober, and had been out all night on +some orgy. "Good gracious, Rawdon," he said, with a +blank face, "what brings you here at this time of the +morning? Why ain't you at home?" + +"Home," said Rawdon with a wild laugh. "Don't be +frightened, Pitt. I'm not drunk. Shut the door; I want to +speak to you." + +Pitt closed the door and came up to the table, where +he sat down in the other arm-chair--that one placed for +the reception of the steward, agent, or confidential +visitor who came to transact business with the Baronet-- +and trimmed his nails more vehemently than ever. + +"Pitt, it's all over with me," the Colonel said after a +pause. "I'm done." + +"I always said it would come to this," the Baronet +cried peevishly, and beating a tune with his clean- +trimmed nails. "I warned you a thousand times. I can't +help you any more. Every shilling of my money is tied +up. Even the hundred pounds that Jane took you last +night were promised to my lawyer to-morrow morning, +and the want of it will put me to great inconvenience. +I don't mean to say that I won't assist you ultimately. +But as for paying your creditors in full, I might as well +hope to pay the National Debt. It is madness, sheer +madness, to think of such a thing. You must come to a +compromise. It's a painful thing for the family, but everybody +does it. There was George Kitely, Lord Ragland's son, +went through the Court last week, and was what they +call whitewashed, I believe. Lord Ragland would not pay +a shilling for him, and--" + +"It's not money I want," Rawdon broke in. "I'm not +come to you about myself. Never mind what happens to +me " + +"What is the matter, then?" said Pitt, somewhat +relieved. + +"It's the boy," said Rawdon in a husky voice. "I want +you to promise me that you will take charge of him +when I'm gone. That dear good wife of yours has always +been good to him; and he's fonder of her than he is of +his . . .--Damn it. Look here, Pitt--you know that I +was to have had Miss Crawley's money. I wasn't brought +up like a younger brother, but was always encouraged to +be extravagant and kep idle. But for this I might have +been quite a different man. I didn't do my duty with the +regiment so bad. You know how I was thrown over +about the money, and who got it." + +"After the sacrifices I have made, and the manner in +which I have stood by you, I think this sort of reproach +is useless," Sir Pitt said. "Your marriage was your own +doing, not mine." + +"That's over now," said Rawdon. "That's over now." +And the words were wrenched from him with a groan, +which made his brother start. + +"Good God! is she dead?" Sir Pitt said with a voice +of genuine alarm and commiseration. + +"I wish I was," Rawdon replied. "If it wasn't for little +Rawdon I'd have cut my throat this morning--and that +damned villain's too." + +Sir Pitt instantly guessed the truth and surmised that +Lord Steyne was the person whose life Rawdon wished to +take. The Colonel told his senior briefly, and in broken +accents, the circumstances of the case. "It was a regular +plan between that scoundrel and her," he said. "The +bailiffs were put upon me; I was taken as I was going +out of his house; when I wrote to her for money, she +said she was ill in bed and put me off to another day. +And when I got home I found her in diamonds and +sitting with that villain alone." He then went on to describe +hurriedly the personal conflict with Lord Steyne. To an +affair of that nature, of course, he said, there was but +one issue, and after his conference with his brother, he +was going away to make the necessary arrangements for +the meeting which must ensue. "And as it may end +fatally with me," Rawdon said with a broken voice, "and +as the boy has no mother, I must leave him to you and +Jane, Pitt--only it will be a comfort to me if you will +promise me to be his friend." + +The elder brother was much affected, and shook +Rawdon's hand with a cordiality seldom exhibited by him. +Rawdon passed his hand over his shaggy eyebrows. +"Thank you, brother," said he. "I know I can trust your +word." + +"I will, upon my honour," the Baronet said. And thus, +and almost mutely, this bargain was struck between +them. + +Then Rawdon took out of his pocket the little +pocket-book which he had discovered in Becky's desk, and from +which he drew a bundle of the notes which it contained. +"Here's six hundred," he said--"you didn't know I was +so rich. I want you to give the money to Briggs, who lent +it to us--and who was kind to the boy--and I've always +felt ashamed of having taken the poor old woman's +money. And here's some more--I've only kept back a +few pounds--which Becky may as well have, to get on +with." As he spoke he took hold of the other notes to +give to his brother, but his hands shook, and he was so +agitated that the pocket-book fell from him, and out of +it the thousand-pound note which had been the last of +the unlucky Becky's winnings. + +Pitt stooped and picked them up, amazed at so much +wealth. "Not that," Rawdon said. "I hope to put a bullet +into the man whom that belongs to." He had thought to +himself, it would be a fine revenge to wrap a ball in the +note and kill Steyne with it. + +After this colloquy the brothers once more shook +hands and parted. Lady Jane had heard of the Colonel's +arrival, and was waiting for her husband in the adjoining +dining-room, with female instinct, auguring evil. The +door of the dining-room happened to be left open, and +the lady of course was issuing from it as the two brothers +passed out of the study. She held out her hand to +Rawdon and said she was glad he was come to breakfast, +though she could perceive, by his haggard unshorn face +and the dark looks of her husband, that there was very +little question of breakfast between them. Rawdon +muttered some excuses about an engagement, squeezing hard +the timid little hand which his sister-in-law reached out +to him. Her imploring eyes could read nothing but +calamity in his face, but he went away without another +word. Nor did Sir Pitt vouchsafe her any explanation. +The children came up to salute him, and he kissed them +in his usual frigid manner. The mother took both of them +close to herself, and held a hand of each of them as they +knelt down to prayers, which Sir Pitt read to them, and +to the servants in their Sunday suits or liveries, ranged +upon chairs on the other side of the hissing tea-urn. +Breakfast was so late that day, in consequence of the +delays which had occurred, that the church-bells began +to ring whilst they were sitting over their meal; and +Lady Jane was too ill, she said, to go to church, though +her thoughts had been entirely astray during the period +of family devotion. + +Rawdon Crawley meanwhile hurried on from Great +Gaunt Street, and knocking at the great bronze +Medusa's head which stands on the portal of Gaunt House, +brought out the purple Silenus in a red and silver +waistcoat who acts as porter of that palace. The man was +scared also by the Colonel's dishevelled appearance, and +barred the way as if afraid that the other was going to +force it. But Colonel Crawley only took out a card and +enjoined him particularly to send it in to Lord Steyne, +and to mark the address written on it, and say that +Colonel Crawley would be all day after one o'clock at the +Regent Club in St. James's Street--not at home. The fat +red-faced man looked after him with astonishment as he +strode away; so did the people in their Sunday clothes +who were out so early; the charity-boys with shining +faces, the greengrocer lolling at his door, and the publican +shutting his shutters in the sunshine, against service +commenced. The people joked at the cab-stand about +his appearance, as he took a carriage there, and told the +driver to drive him to Knightsbridge Barracks. + +All the bells were jangling and tolling as he reached +that place. He might have seen his old acquaintance +Amelia on her way from Brompton to Russell Square, +had he been looking out. Troops of schools were on +their march to church, the shiny pavement and outsides +of coaches in the suburbs were thronged with people out +upon their Sunday pleasure; but the Colonel was much +too busy to take any heed of these phenomena, and, +arriving at Knightsbridge, speedily made his way up to the +room of his old friend and comrade Captain Macmurdo, +who Crawley found, to his satisfaction, was in barracks. + +Captain Macmurdo, a veteran officer and Waterloo +man, greatly liked by his regiment, in which want of +money alone prevented him from attaining the highest +ranks, was enjoying the forenoon calmly in bed. He had +been at a fast supper-party, given the night before by +Captain the Honourable George Cinqbars, at his house +in Brompton Square, to several young men of the +regiment, and a number of ladies of the corps de ballet, and +old Mac, who was at home with people of all ages and +ranks, and consorted with generals, dog-fanciers, opera- +dancers, bruisers, and every kind of person, in a word, +was resting himself after the night's labours, and, not +being on duty, was in bed. + +His room was hung round with boxing, sporting, and +dancing pictures, presented to him by comrades as they +retired from the regiment, and married and settled into +quiet life. And as he was now nearly fifty years of age, +twenty-four of which he had passed in the corps, he had +a singular museum. He was one of the best shots in +England, and, for a heavy man, one of the best riders; +indeed, he and Crawley had been rivals when the latter +was in the Army. To be brief, Mr. Macmurdo was lying +in bed, reading in Bell's Life an account of that very +fight between the Tutbury Pet and the Barking Butcher, +which has been before mentioned--a venerable bristly +warrior, with a little close-shaved grey head, with a silk +nightcap, a red face and nose, and a great dyed +moustache. + +When Rawdon told the Captain he wanted a friend, the +latter knew perfectly well on what duty of friendship he +was called to act, and indeed had conducted scores of +affairs for his acquaintances with the greatest prudence +and skill. His Royal Highness the late lamented +Commander-in-Chief had had the greatest regard for +Macmurdo on this account, and he was the common refuge +of gentlemen in trouble. + +"What's the row about, Crawley, my boy?" said the +old warrior. "No more gambling business, hay, like that +when we shot Captain Marker?" + +"It's about--about my wife," Crawley answered, +casting down his eyes and turning very red. + +The other gave a whistle. "I always said she'd throw +you over," he began--indeed there were bets in the +regiment and at the clubs regarding the probable fate of +Colonel Crawley, so lightly was his wife's character +esteemed by his comrades and the world; but seeing the +savage look with which Rawdon answered the expression +of this opinion, Macmurdo did not think fit to enlarge +upon it further. + +"Is there no way out of it, old boy?" the Captain +continued in a grave tone. "Is it only suspicion, you know, +or--or what is it? Any letters? Can't you keep it quiet? +Best not make any noise about a thing of that sort if you +can help it." "Think of his only finding her out now," the +Captain thought to himself, and remembered a hundred +particular conversations at the mess-table, in which Mrs. +Crawley's reputation had been torn to shreds. + +"There's no way but one out of it," Rawdon replied-- +"and there's only a way out of it for one of us, Mac--do +you understand? I was put out of the way--arrested--I +found 'em alone together. I told him he was a liar and a +coward, and knocked him down and thrashed him." + +"Serve him right," Macmurdo said. "Who is it?" + +Rawdon answered it was Lord Steyne. + +"The deuce! a Marquis! they said he--that is, they +said you--" + +"What the devil do you mean?" roared out Rawdon; +"do you mean that you ever heard a fellow doubt about +my wife and didn't tell me, Mac?" + +"The world's very censorious, old boy," the other +replied. "What the deuce was the good of my telling you +what any tom-fools talked about?" + +"It was damned unfriendly, Mac," said Rawdon, quite +overcome; and, covering his face with his hands, he gave +way to an emotion, the sight of which caused the tough +old campaigner opposite him to wince with sympathy. +"Hold up, old boy," he said; "great man or not, we'll put +a bullet in him, damn him. As for women, they're all so." + +"You don't know how fond I was of that one," +Rawdon said, half-inarticulately. "Damme, I followed her like +a footman. I gave up everything I had to her. I'm a +beggar because I would marry her. By Jove, sir, I've pawned +my own watch in order to get her anything she fancied; +and she she's been making a purse for herself all the +time, and grudged me a hundred pound to get me out of +quod." He then fiercely and incoherently, and with an +agitation under which his counsellor had never before +seen him labour, told Macmurdo the circumstances of +the story. His adviser caught at some stray hints in it. +"She may be innocent, after all," he said. "She says +so. Steyne has been a hundred times alone with her in +the house before." + +"It may be so," Rawdon answered sadly, "but this don't +look very innocent": and he showed the Captain the +thousand-pound note which he had found in Becky's +pocket-book. "This is what he gave her, Mac, and she +kep it unknown to me; and with this money in the house, +she refused to stand by me when I was locked up." The +Captain could not but own that the secreting of the +money had a very ugly look. + +Whilst they were engaged in their conference, Rawdon +dispatched Captain Macmurdo's servant to Curzon Street, +with an order to the domestic there to give up a bag of +clothes of which the Colonel had great need. And during +the man's absence, and with great labour and a Johnson's +Dictionary, which stood them in much stead, Rawdon +and his second composed a letter, which the latter +was to send to Lord Steyne. Captain Macmurdo had the +honour of waiting upon the Marquis of Steyne, on the part +of Colonel Rawdon Crawley, and begged to intimate that +he was empowered by the Colonel to make any arrangements +for the meeting which, he had no doubt, it was his +Lordship's intention to demand, and which the circumstances +of the morning had rendered inevitable. Captain +Macmurdo begged Lord Steyne, in the most polite +manner, to appoint a friend, with whom he (Captain M'M.) +might communicate, and desired that the meeting might +take place with as little delay as possible. + +In a postscript the Captain stated that he had in his +possession a bank-note for a large amount, which +Colonel Crawley had reason to suppose was the property of +the Marquis of Steyne. And he was anxious, on the +Colonel's behalf, to give up the note to its owner. + +By the time this note was composed, the Captain's +servant returned from his mission to Colonel Crawley's +house in Curzon Street, but without the carpet-bag and +portmanteau, for which he had been sent, and with a +very puzzled and odd face. + +"They won't give 'em up," said the man; "there's a +regular shinty in the house, and everything at sixes and +sevens. The landlord's come in and took possession. The +servants was a drinkin' up in the drawingroom. They +said--they said you had gone off with the plate, +Colonel"--the man added after a pause--"One of the +servants is off already. And Simpson, the man as was very +noisy and drunk indeed, says nothing shall go out of the +house until his wages is paid up." + +The account of this little revolution in May Fair +astonished and gave a little gaiety to an otherwise very +triste conversation. The two officers laughed at Rawdon's +discomfiture. + +"I'm glad the little 'un isn't at home," Rawdon said, +biting his nails. "You remember him, Mac, don't you, in +the Riding School? How he sat the kicker to be sure! +didn't he?" + +"That he did, old boy," said the good-natured Captain. + +Little Rawdon was then sitting, one of fifty gown boys, +in the Chapel of Whitefriars School, thinking, not about +the sermon, but about going home next Saturday, when +his father would certainly tip him and perhaps would +take him to the play. + +"He's a regular trump, that boy," the father went on, +still musing about his son. "I say, Mac, if anything goes +wrong--if I drop--I should like you to--to go and see +him, you know, and say that I was very fond of him, and +that. And--dash it--old chap, give him these gold sleeve- +buttons: it's all I've got." He covered his face with his +black hands, over which the tears rolled and made +furrows of white. Mr. Macmurdo had also occasion to take +off his silk night-cap and rub it across his eyes. + +"Go down and order some breakfast," he said to his +man in a loud cheerful voice. "What'll you have, Crawley? +Some devilled kidneys and a herring--let's say. And, +Clay, lay out some dressing things for the Colonel: we +were always pretty much of a size, Rawdon, my boy, and +neither of us ride so light as we did when we first +entered the corps." With which, and leaving the Colonel to +dress himself, Macmurdo turned round towards the wall, +and resumed the perusal of Bell's Life, until such time as +his friend's toilette was complete and he was at liberty +to commence his own. + +This, as he was about to meet a lord, Captain +Macmurdo performed with particular care. He waxed his +mustachios into a state of brilliant polish and put on a +tight cravat and a trim buff waistcoat, so that all the +young officers in the mess-room, whither Crawley had +preceded his friend, complimented Mac on his appearance +at breakfast and asked if he was going to be married +that Sunday. + + + +CHAPIER LV + +In Which the Same Subject is Pursued + +Becky did not rally from the state of stupor and confusion +in which the events of the previous night had plunged +her intrepid spirit until the bells of the Curzon Street +Chapels were ringing for afternoon service, and rising +from her bed she began to ply her own bell, in order to +summon the French maid who had left her some hours +before. + +Mrs. Rawdon Crawley rang many times in vain; and +though, on the last occasion, she rang with such +vehemence as to pull down the bell-rope, Mademoiselle +Fifine did not make her appearance--no, not though her +mistress, in a great pet, and with the bell-rope in her hand, +came out to the landing-place with her hair over her +shoulders and screamed out repeatedly for her attendant. + +The truth is, she had quitted the premises for many +hours, and upon that permission which is called French +leave among us After picking up the trinkets in the +drawing-room, Mademoiselle had ascended to her own +apartments, packed and corded her own boxes there, +tripped out and called a cab for herself, brought down +her trunks with her own hand, and without ever so much +as asking the aid of any of the other servants, who would +probably have refused it, as they hated her cordially, +and without wishing any one of them good-bye, had +made her exit from Curzon Street. + +The game, in her opinion, was over in that little +domestic establishment. Fifine went off in a cab, as we +have known more exalted persons of her nation to do +under similar circumstances: but, more provident or +lucky than these, she secured not only her own property, +but some of her mistress's (if indeed that lady could be +said to have any property at all)--and not only carried +off the trinkets before alluded to, and some favourite +dresses on which she had long kept her eye, but four +richly gilt Louis Quatorze candlesticks, six gilt albums, +keepsakes, and Books of Beauty, a gold enamelled +snuff-box which had once belonged to Madame du Barri, and +the sweetest little inkstand and mother-of-pearl blotting +book, which Becky used when she composed her charming +little pink notes, had vanished from the premises in +Curzon Street together with Mademoiselle Fifine, and all +the silver laid on the table for the little festin which +Rawdon interrupted. The plated ware Mademoiselle left +behind her was too cumbrous, probably for which +reason, no doubt, she also left the fire irons, the +chimney-glasses, and the rosewood cottage piano. + +A lady very like her subsequently kept a milliner's +shop in the Rue du Helder at Paris, where she lived with +great credit and enjoyed the patronage of my Lord +Steyne. This person always spoke of England as of the +most treacherous country in the world, and stated to her +young pupils that she had been affreusement vole by +natives of that island. It was no doubt compassion for +her misfortunes which induced the Marquis of Steyne to +be so very kind to Madame de Saint-Amaranthe. May +she flourish as she deserves--she appears no more in our +quarter of Vanity Fair. + +Hearing a buzz and a stir below, and indignant at the +impudence of those servants who would not answer her +summons, Mrs. Crawley flung her morning robe round +her and descended majestically to the drawing-room, +whence the noise proceeded. + +The cook was there with blackened face, seated on the +beautiful chintz sofa by the side of Mrs. Raggles, to whom +she was administering Maraschino. The page with the +sugar-loaf buttons, who carried about Becky's pink +notes, and jumped about her little carriage with such +alacrity, was now engaged putting his fingers into a +cream dish; the footman was talking to Raggles, who +had a face full of perplexity and woe--and yet, though +the door was open, and Becky had been screaming a +half-dozen of times a few feet off, not one of her +attendants had obeyed her call. "Have a little drop, do'ee +now, Mrs. Raggles," the cook was saying as Becky +entered, the white cashmere dressing-gown flouncing +around her. + +"Simpson! Trotter!" the mistress of the house cried in +great wrath. "How dare you stay here when you heard +me call? How dare you sit down in my presence? Where's +my maid?" The page withdrew his fingers from his mouth +with a momentary terror, but the cook took off a glass +of Maraschino, of which Mrs. Raggles had had enough, +staring at Becky over the little gilt glass as she drained +its contents. The liquor appeared to give the odious rebel +courage. + +"YOUR sofy, indeed!" Mrs. Cook said. "I'm a settin' on +Mrs. Raggles's sofy. Don't you stir, Mrs. Raggles, Mum. +I'm a settin' on Mr. and Mrs. Raggles's sofy, which they +bought with honest money, and very dear it cost 'em, +too. And I'm thinkin' if I set here until I'm paid my +wages, I shall set a precious long time, Mrs. Raggles; +and set I will, too--ha! ha!" and with this she filled +herself another glass of the liquor and drank it with a more +hideously satirical air. + +"Trotter! Simpson! turn that drunken wretch out," +screamed Mrs. Crawley. + +"I shawn't," said Trotter the footman; "turn out +yourself. Pay our selleries, and turn me out too. WE'LL +go fast enough." + +"Are you all here to insult me?" cried Becky in a fury; +"when Colonel Crawley comes home I'll--" + +At this the servants burst into a horse haw-haw, in +which, however, Raggles, who still kept a most melancholy countenance, did not join. "He ain't a coming back," +Mr. Trotter resumed. "He sent for his things, and I +wouldn't let 'em go, although Mr. Raggles would; and I +don't b'lieve he's no more a Colonel than I am. He's +hoff, and I suppose you're a goin' after him. You're no +better than swindlers, both on you. Don't be a bullyin' +ME. I won't stand it. Pay us our selleries, I say. Pay us +our selleries." It was evident, from Mr. Trotter's flushed +countenance and defective intonation, that he, too, had +had recourse to vinous stimulus. + +"Mr. Raggles," said Becky in a passion of vexation, +"you will not surely let me be insulted by that drunken +man?" "Hold your noise, Trotter; do now," said Simpson +the page. He was affected by his mistress's deplorable +situation, and succeeded in preventing an outrageous +denial of the epithet "drunken" on the footman's part. + +"Oh, M'am," said Raggles, "I never thought to live to +see this year day: I've known the Crawley family ever +since I was born. I lived butler with Miss Crawley for +thirty years; and I little thought one of that family was +a goin' to ruing me--yes, ruing me"--said the poor fellow +with tears in his eyes. "Har you a goin' to pay me? You've +lived in this 'ouse four year. You've 'ad my substance: +my plate and linning. You ho me a milk and butter bill +of two 'undred pound, you must 'ave noo laid heggs for +your homlets, and cream for your spanil dog." + +"She didn't care what her own flesh and blood had," +interposed the cook. "Many's the time, he'd have starved +but for me." + +"He's a charaty-boy now, Cooky," said Mr. Trotter, +with a drunken "ha! ha!"--and honest Raggles continued, +in a lamentable tone, an enumeration of his griefs. All he +said was true. Becky and her husband had ruined him. +He had bills coming due next week and no means to meet +them. He would be sold up and turned out of his shop +and his house, because he had trusted to the Crawley +family. His tears and lamentations made Becky more +peevish than ever. + +"You all seem to be against me," she said bitterly. +"What do you want? I can't pay you on Sunday. Come +back to-morrow and I'll pay you everything. I thought +Colonel Crawley had settled with you. He will to-morrow. +I declare to you upon my honour that he left home this +morning with fifteen hundred pounds in his pocket-book. +He has left me nothing. Apply to him. Give me a bonnet +and shawl and let me go out and find him. There was a +difference between us this morning. You all seem to +know it. I promise you upon my word that you shall all +be paid. He has got a good appointment. Let me go out +and find him.'' + +This audacious statement caused Raggles and the other +personages present to look at one another with a wild +surprise, and with it Rebecca left them. She went upstairs +and dressed herself this time without the aid of her French +maid. She went into Rawdon's room, and there saw that +a trunk and bag were packed ready for removal, with a +pencil direction that they should be given when called +for; then she went into the Frenchwoman's garret; +everything was clean, and all the drawers emptied there. +She bethought herself of the trinkets which had been left on +the ground and felt certain that the woman had fled. +"Good Heavens! was ever such ill luck as mine?" she +said; "to be so near, and to lose all. Is it all too late?" +No; there was one chance more. + +She dressed herself and went away unmolested this +time, but alone. It was four o'clock. She went swiftly +down the streets (she had no money to pay for a +carriage), and never stopped until she came to Sir Pitt +Crawley's door, in Great Gaunt Street. Where was Lady +Jane Crawley? She was at church. Becky was not sorry. +Sir Pitt was in his study, and had given orders not to be +disturbed--she must see him--she slipped by the sentinel +in livery at once, and was in Sir Pitt's room before the +astonished Baronet had even laid down the paper. + +He turned red and started back from her with a look +of great alarm and horror. + +"Do not look so," she said. "I am not guilty, Pitt, dear +Pitt; you were my friend once. Before God, I am not +guilty. I seem so. Everything is against me. And oh! at +such a moment! just when all my hopes were about to be +realized: just when happiness was in store for us." + +"Is this true, what I see in the paper then?" Sir Pitt +said--a paragraph in which had greatly surprised him. + +"It is true. Lord Steyne told me on Friday night, the +night of that fatal ball. He has been promised an +appointment any time these six months. Mr. Martyr, the +Colonial Secretary, told him yesterday that it was made out. +That unlucky arrest ensued; that horrible meeting. I was only +guilty of too much devotedness to Rawdon's service. I +have received Lord Steyne alone a hundred times before. +I confess I had money of which Rawdon knew nothing. +Don't you know how careless he is of it, and could I dare +to confide it to him?" And so she went on with a +perfectly connected story, which she poured into the ears +of her perplexed kinsman. + +It was to the following effect. Becky owned, and with +prefect frankness, but deep contrition, that having +remarked Lord Steyne's partiality for her (at the mention +of which Pitt blushed), and being secure of her own +virtue, she had determined to turn the great peer's +attachment to the advantage of herself and her family. "I +looked for a peerage for you, Pitt," she said (the brother- +in-law again turned red). "We have talked about it. Your +genius and Lord Steyne's interest made it more than +probable, had not this dreadful calamity come to put an +end to all our hopes. But, first, I own that it was my +object to rescue my dear husband--him whom I love in +spite of all his ill usage and suspicions of me--to remove +him from the poverty and ruin which was impending over +us. I saw Lord Steyne's partiality for me," she said, +casting down her eyes. "I own that I did everything in +my power to make myself pleasing to him, and as far as +an honest woman may, to secure his--his esteem. It was +only on Friday morning that the news arrived of the +death of the Governor of Coventry Island, and my Lord +instantly secured the appointment for my dear husband. +It was intended as a surprise for him--he was to see it in +the papers to-day. Even after that horrid arrest took +place (the expenses of which Lord Steyne generously +said he would settle, so that I was in a manner prevented +from coming to my husband's assistance), my Lord was +laughing with me, and saying that my dearest Rawdon +would be consoled when he read of his appointment in +the paper, in that shocking spun--bailiff's house. And +then--then he came home. His suspicions were excited, +--the dreadful scene took place between my Lord and +my cruel, cruel Rawdon--and, O my God, what will +happen next? Pitt, dear Pitt! pity me, and reconcile us!" +And as she spoke she flung herself down on her knees, +and bursting into tears, seized hold of Pitt's hand, which +she kissed passionately. + +It was in this very attitude that Lady Jane, who, +returning from church, ran to her husband's room directly +she heard Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was closeted there, +found the Baronet and his sister-in-law. + +"I am surprised that woman has the audacity to enter +this house," Lady Jane said, trembling in every limb +and turning quite pale. (Her Ladyship had sent out her +maid directly after breakfast, who had communicated +with Raggles and Rawdon Crawley's household, who had +told her all, and a great deal more than they knew, of +that story, and many others besides). "How dare Mrs. +Crawley to enter the house of--of an honest family?" + +Sir Pitt started back, amazed at his wife's display of +vigour. Becky still kept her kneeling posture and clung +to Sir Pitt's hand. + +"Tell her that she does not know all: Tell her that I +am innocent, dear Pitt," she whimpered out. + +"Upon-my word, my love, I think you do Mrs. Crawley +injustice," Sir Pitt said; at which speech Rebecca was +vastly relieved. "Indeed I believe her to be--" + +"To be what?" cried out Lady Jane, her clear voice +thrilling and, her heart beating violently as she spoke. +"To be a wicked woman--a heartless mother, a false +wife? She never loved her dear little boy, who used to +fly here and tell me of her cruelty to him. She never +came into a family but she strove to bring misery with +her and to weaken the most sacred affections with her +wicked flattery and falsehoods. She has deceived her +husband, as she has deceived everybody; her soul is black +with vanity, worldliness, and all sorts of crime. I tremble +when I touch her. I keep my children out of her sight. + +"Lady Jane!" cried Sir Pitt, starting up, "this is really +language--" + +"I have been a true and faithful wife to you, Sir +Pitt," Lady Jane continued, intrepidly; "I have kept my +marriage vow as I made it to God and have been +obedient and gentle as a wife should. But righteous +obedience has its limits, and I declare that I will not bear +that--that woman again under my roof; if she enters it, +I and my children will leave it. She is not worthy to sit +down with Christian people. You--you must choose, sir, +between her and me"; and with this my Lady swept out +of the room, fluttering with her own audacity, and leaving +Rebecca and Sir Pitt not a little astonished at it. + +As for Becky, she was not hurt; nay, she was pleased. +"It was the diamond-clasp you gave me," she said to Sir +Pitt, reaching him out her hand; and before she left him +(for which event you may be sure my Lady Jane was +looking out from her dressing-room window in the upper +story) the Baronet had promised to go and seek out his +brother, and endeavour to bring about a reconciliation. + +Rawdon found some of the young fellows of the regiment +seated in the mess-room at breakfast, and was +induced without much difficulty to partake of that meal, +and of the devilled legs of fowls and soda-water with +which these young gentlemen fortified themselves. Then +they had a conversation befitting the day and their time +of life: about the next pigeon-match at Battersea, with +relative bets upon Ross and Osbaldiston; about +Mademoiselle Ariane of the French Opera, and who had left +her, and how she was consoled by Panther Carr; and +about the fight between the Butcher and the Pet, and the +probabilities that it was a cross. Young Tandyman, a +hero of seventeen, laboriously endeavouring to get up a +pair of mustachios, had seen the fight, and spoke in the +most scientific manner about the battle and the condition +of the men. It was he who had driven the Butcher on to +the ground in his drag and passed the whole of the +previous night with him. Had there not been foul play +he must have won it. All the old files of the Ring were in +it; and Tandyman wouldn't pay; no, dammy, he wouldn't +pay. It was but a year since the young Cornet, now so +knowing a hand in Cribb's parlour, had a still lingering +liking for toffy, and used to be birched at Eton. + +So they went on talking about dancers, fights, drinking, +demireps, until Macmurdo came down and joined the +boys and the conversation. He did not appear to think +that any especial reverence was due to their boyhood; +the old fellow cut in with stories, to the full as choice +as any the youngest rake present had to tell--nor did his +own grey hairs nor their smooth faces detain him. Old +Mac was famous for his good stories. He was not exactly +a lady's man; that is, men asked him to dine rather at +the houses of their mistresses than of their mothers. +There can scarcely be a life lower, perhaps, than his, +but he was quite contented with it, such as it was, and +led it in perfect good nature, simplicity, and modesty of +demeanour. + +By the time Mac had finished a copious breakfast, +most of the others had concluded their meal. Young Lord +Varinas was smoking an immense Meerschaum pipe, +while Captain Hugues was employed with a cigar: that +violent little devil Tandyman, with his little bull-terrier +between his legs, was tossing for shillings with all his +might (that fellow was always at some game or other) +against Captain Deuceace; and Mac and Rawdon walked +off to the Club, neither, of course, having given any hint +of the business which was occupying their minds. Both, +on the other hand, had joined pretty gaily in the +conversation, for why should they interrupt it? Feasting, +drinking, ribaldry, laughter, go on alongside of all sorts +of other occupations in Vanity Fair--the crowds were +pouring out of church as Rawdon and his friend passed +down St. James's Street and entered into their Club. + +The old bucks and habitues, who ordinarily stand +gaping and grinning out of the great front window of the +Club, had not arrived at their posts as yet--the +newspaper-room was almost empty. One man was present +whom Rawdon did not know; another to whom he owed +a little score for whist, and whom, in consequence, he +did not care to meet; a third was reading the Royalist +(a periodical famous for its scandal and its attachment +to Church and King) Sunday paper at the table, and +looking up at Crawley with some interest, said, "Crawley, +I congratulate you." + +"What do you mean?" said the Colonel. + +"It's in the Observer and the Royalist too," said Mr. +Smith. + +"What?" Rawdon cried, turning very red. He thought +that the affair with Lord Steyne was already in the +public prints. Smith looked up wondering and smiling +at the agitation which the Colonel exhibited as he took +up the paper and, trembling, began to read. + +Mr. Smith and Mr. Brown (the gentleman with .whom +Rawdon had the outstanding whist account) had been +talking about the Colonel just before he came in. + +"It is come just in the nick of time," said Smith. "I +suppose Crawley had not a shilling in the world." + +"It's a wind that blows everybody good," Mr. Brown +said. "He can't go away without paying me a pony he +owes me." + +"What's the salary?" asked Smith. + +"Two or three thousand," answered the other. "But +the climate's so infernal, they don't enjoy it long. +Liverseege died after eighteen months of it, and the +man before went off in six weeks, I hear." + +"Some people say his brother is a very clever man. I +always found him a d-- bore," Smith ejaculated. "He +must have good interest, though. He must have got the +Colonel the place." + +"He!" said Brown. with a sneer. "Pooh. It was Lord +Steyne got it. + +"How do you mean?" + +"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband," +answered the other enigmatically, and went to read his +papers. + +Rawdon, for his part, read in the Royalist the following +astonishing paragraph: + +GOVERNORSHIP OF COVENTRY ISLAND.--H.M.S. +Yellowjack, Commander Jaunders, has brought letters and +papers from Coventry Island. H. E. Sir Thomas +Liverseege had fallen a victim to the prevailing fever at +Swampton. His loss is deeply felt in the flourishing +colony. We hear that the Governorship has been offered to +Colonel Rawdon Crawley, C.B., a distinguished Waterloo +officer. We need not only men of acknowledged +bravery, but men of administrative talents to superintend +the affairs of our colonies, and we have no doubt +that the gentleman selected by the Colonial Office to +fill the lamented vacancy which has occurred at +Coventry Island is admirably calculated for the post which +he is about to occupy." + +"Coventry Island! Where was it? Who had appointed +him to the government? You must take me out as your +secretary, old boy," Captain Macmurdo said laughing; +and as Crawley and his friend sat wondering and +perplexed over the announcement, the Club waiter brought +in to the Colonel a card on which the name of Mr. +Wenham was engraved, who begged to see Colonel +Crawley. + +The Colonel and his aide-de-camp went out to meet +the gentleman, rightly conjecturing that he was an +emissary of Lord Steyne. "How d'ye do, Crawley? I am +glad to see you," said Mr. Wenham with a bland smile, +and grasping Crawley's hand with great cordiality. + +"You come, I suppose, from-- " + +"Exactly," said Mr. Wenham. + +"Then this is my friend Captain Macmurdo, of the Life +Guards Green." + +"Delighted to know Captain Macmurdo, I'm sure," Mr. +Wenham said and tendered another smile and shake of +the hand to the second, as he had done to the principal. +Mac put out one finger, armed with a buckskin glove, +and made a very frigid bow to Mr. Wenham over his +tight cravat. He was, perhaps, discontented at being put +in communication with a pekin, and thought that Lord +Steyne should have sent him a Colonel at the very least. + +"As Macmurdo acts for me, and knows what I mean," +Crawley said, "I had better retire and leave you together." + +"Of course," said Macmurdo. + +"By no means, my dear Colonel," Mr. Wenham said; +"the interview which I had the honour of requesting was +with you personally, though the company of Captain +Macmurdo cannot fail to be also most pleasing. In fact, +Captain, I hope that our conversation will lead to none +but the most agreeable results, very different from those +which my friend Colonel Crawley appears to anticipate." + +"Humph!" said Captain Macmurdo. Be hanged to these +civilians, he thought to himself, they are always for +arranging and speechifying. Mr. Wenham took a chair +which was not offered to him--took a paper from his +pocket, and resumed-- + +"You have seen this gratifying announcement in the +papers this morning, Colonel? Government has secured +a most valuable servant, and you, if you accept office, as +I presume you will, an excellent appointment. Three +thousand a year, delightful climate, excellent government- +house, all your own way in the Colony, and a certain +promotion. I congratulate you with all my heart. I +presume you know, gentlemen, to whom my friend is +indebted for this piece of patronage?" + +"Hanged if I know," the Captain said; his principal +turned very red. + +"To one of the most generous and kindest men in the +world, as he is one of the greatest--to my excellent +friend, the Marquis of Steyne." + +"I'll see him d-- before I take his place," growled +out Rawdon. + +"You are irritated against my noble friend," Mr. +Wenham calmly resumed; "and now, in the name of +common sense and justice, tell me why?" + +"WHY?" cried Rawdon in surprise. + +"Why? Dammy!" said the Captain, ringing his stick +on the ground. + +"Dammy, indeed," said Mr. Wenham with the most +agreeable smile; "still, look at the matter as a man of +the world--as an honest man--and see if you have not +been in the wrong. You come home from a journey, and +find--what?--my Lord Steyne supping at your house in +Curzon Street with Mrs. Crawley. Is the circumstance +strange or novel? Has he not been a hundred times +before in the same position? Upon my honour and word +as a gentleman"--Mr. Wenham here put his hand on +his waistcoat with a parliamentary air--"I declare I think +that your suspicions are monstrous and utterly +unfounded, and that they injure an honourable gentleman +who has proved his good-will towards you by a thousand +benefactions--and a most spotless and innocent lady." + +"You don't mean to say that--that Crawley's +mistaken?" said Mr. Macmurdo. + +"I believe that Mrs. Crawley is as innocent as my +wife, Mrs. Wenham," Mr. Wenham said with great +energy. "I believe that, misled by an infernal jealousy, +my friend here strikes a blow against not only an infirm +and old man of high station, his constant friend and +benefactor, but against his wife, his own dearest honour, +his son's future reputation, and his own prospects in +life." + +"I will tell you what happened," Mr. Wenham +continued with great solemnity; "I was sent for this +morning by my Lord Steyne, and found him in a pitiable state, +as, I need hardly inform Colonel Crawley, any man of +age and infirmity would be after a personal conflict with +a man of your strength. I say to your face; it was a +cruel advantage you took of that strength, Colonel +Crawley. It was not only the body of my noble and +excellent friend which was wounded--his heart, sir, was +bleeding. A man whom he had loaded with benefits and +regarded with affection had subjected him to the foulest +indignity. What was this very appointment, which appears +in the journals of to-day, but a proof of his kindness to +you? When I saw his Lordship this morning I found him +in a state pitiable indeed to see, and as anxious as you +are to revenge the outrage committed upon him, by +blood. You know he has given his proofs, I presume, +Colonel Crawley?" + +"He has plenty of pluck," said the Colonel. "Nobody +ever said he hadn't." + +"His first order to me was to write a letter of +challenge, and to carry it to Colonel Crawley. One or +other of us," he said, "must not survive the outrage +of last night." + +Crawley nodded. "You're coming to the point, +Wenham," he said. + +"I tried my utmost to calm Lord Steyne. Good God! +sir," I said, "how I regret that Mrs. Wenham and myself +had not accepted Mrs. Crawley's invitation to sup with +her!" + +"She asked you to sup with her?" Captain Macmurdo +said. + +"After the opera. Here's the note of invitation--stop +--no, this is another paper--I thought I had h, but it's +of no consequence, and I pledge you my word to the +fact. If we had come--and it was only one of Mrs. +Wenham's headaches which prevented us--she suffers +under them a good deal, especially in the spring--if we +had come, and you had returned home, there would have +been no quarrel, no insult, no suspicion--and so it is +positively because my poor wife has a headache that you +are to bring death down upon two men of honour and +plunge two of the most excellent and ancient families +in the kingdom into disgrace and sorrow." + +Mr. Macmurdo looked at his principal with the air +of a man profoundly puzzled, and Rawdon felt with a +kind of rage that his prey was escaping him. He did not +believe a word of the story, and yet, how discredit or +disprove it? + +Mr. Wenham continued with the same fluent oratory, +which in his place in Parliament he had so often +practised--"I sat for an hour or more by Lord Steyne's +bedside, beseeching, imploring Lord Steyne to forego his +intention of demanding a meeting. I pointed out to him +that the circumstances were after all suspicious--they +were suspicious. I acknowledge it--any man in your +position might have been taken in--I said that a man +furious with jealousy is to all intents and purposes a +madman, and should be as such regarded--that a duel +between you must lead to the disgrace of all parties +concerned--that a man of his Lordship's exalted station had +no right in these days, when the most atrocious +revolutionary principles, and the most dangerous levelling +doctrines are preached among the vulgar, to create a +public scandal; and that, however innocent, the common +people would insist that he was guilty. In fine, I +implored him not to send the challenge." + +"I don't believe one word of the whole story," said +Rawdon, grinding his teeth. "I believe it a d-- lie, and +that you're in it, Mr. Wenham. If the challenge don't +come from him, by Jove it shall come from me." + +Mr. Wenham turned deadly pale at this savage +interruption of the Colonel and looked towards the door. + +But he found a champion in Captain Macmurdo. That +gentleman rose up with an oath and rebuked Rawdon +for his language. "You put the affair into my hands, and +you shall act as I think fit, by Jove, and not as you do. +You have no right to insult Mr. Wenham with this sort +of language; and dammy, Mr. Wenham, you deserve an +apology. And as for a challenge to Lord Steyne, you +may get somebody else to carry it, I won't. If my lord, +after being thrashed, chooses to sit still, dammy let him. +And as for the affair with--with Mrs. Crawley, my +belief is, there's nothing proved at all: that your wife's +innocent, as innocent as Mr. Wenham says she is; and at +any rate that you would be a d--fool not to take the +place and hold your tongue." + +"Captain Macmurdo, you speak like a man of sense," +Mr. Wenham cried out, immensely relieved--"I forget +any words that Colonel Crawley has used in the +irritation of the moment." + +"I thought you would," Rawdon said with a sneer. + +"Shut your mouth, you old stoopid," the Captain said +good-naturedly. "Mr. Wenham ain't a fighting man; and +quite right, too." + +"This matter, in my belief," the Steyne emissary cried, +"ought to be buried in the most profound oblivion. A +word concerning it should never pass these doors. I +speak in the interest of my friend, as well as of Colonel +Crawley, who persists in considering me his enemy." + +"I suppose Lord Steyne won't talk about it very +much," said Captain Macmurdo; "and I don't see why +our side should. The affair ain't a very pretty one, any +way you take it, and the less said about it the better. +It's you are thrashed, and not us; and if you are satisfied, +why, I think, we should be." + +Mr. Wenham took his hat, upon this, and Captain +Macmurdo following him to the door, shut it upon +himself and Lord Steyne's agent, leaving Rawdon chafing +within. When the two were on the other side, Macmurdo +looked hard at the other ambassador and with an +expression of anything but respect on his round jolly face. + +"You don't stick at a trifle, Mr. Wenham," he said. + +"You flatter me, Captain Macmurdo," answered the +other with a smile. "Upon my honour and conscience +now, Mrs. Crawley did ask us to sup after the opera." + +"Of course; and Mrs. Wenham had one of her head- +aches. I say, I've got a thousand-pound note here, which +I will give you if you will give me a receipt, please; and +I will put the note up in an envelope for Lord Steyne. +My man shan't fight him. But we had rather not take +his money." + +"It was all a mistake--all a mistake, my dear sir," the +other said with the utmost innocence of manner; and was +bowed down the Club steps by Captain Macmurdo, just +as Sir Pitt Crawley ascended them. There was a slight +acquaintance between these two gentlemen, and the +Captain, going back with the Baronet to the room where the +latter's brother was, told Sir Pitt, in confidence, that he +had made the affair all right between Lord Steyne and +the Colonel. + +Sir Pitt was well pleased, of course, at this intelligence, +and congratulated his brother warmly upon the peaceful +issue of the affair, making appropriate moral remarks +upon the evils of duelling and the unsatisfactory nature +of that sort of settlement of disputes. + +And after this preface, he tried with all his eloquence +to effect a reconciliation between Rawdon and his wife. +He recapitulated the statements which Becky had made, +pointed out the probabilities of their truth, and asserted +his own firm belief in her innocence. + +But Rawdon would not hear of it. "She has kep money +concealed from me these ten years," he said "She swore, +last night only, she had none from Steyne. She knew it +was all up, directly I found it. If she's not guilty, Pitt, +she's as bad as guilty, and I'll never see her again-- +never." His head sank down on his chest as he spoke +the words, and he looked quite broken and sad. + +"Poor old boy," Macmurdo said, shaking his head. + +Rawdon Crawley resisted for some time the idea of +taking the place which had been procured for him by so +odious a patron, and was also for removing the boy +from the school where Lord Steyne's interest had placed +him. He was induced, however, to acquiesce in these +benefits by the entreaties of his brother and Macmurdo, +but mainly by the latter, pointing out to him what a +fury Steyne would be in to think that his enemy's +fortune was made through his means. + +When the Marquis of Steyne came abroad after his +accident, the Colonial Secretary bowed up to him and +congratulated himself and the Service upon having made +so excellent an appointment. These congratulations were +received with a degree of gratitude which may be +imagined on the part of Lord Steyne. + +The secret of the rencontre between him and Colonel +Crawley was buried in the profoundest oblivion, as +Wenham said; that is, by the seconds and the principals. +But before that evening was over it was talked of at fifty +dinner-tables in Vanity Fair. Little Cackleby himself +went to seven evening parties and told the story with +comments and emendations at each place. How Mrs. +Washington White revelled in it! The Bishopess of Ealing +was shocked beyond expression; the Bishop went and +wrote his name down in the visiting-book at Gaunt House +that very day. Little Southdown was sorry; so you may +be sure was his sister Lady Jane, very sorry. Lady +Southdown wrote it off to her other daughter at the Cape of +Good Hope. It was town-talk for at least three days, +and was only kept out of the newspapers by the exertions +of Mr. Wagg, acting upon a hint from Mr. Wenham. + +The bailiffs and brokers seized upon poor Raggles in +Curzon Street, and the late fair tenant of that poor little +mansion was in the meanwhile--where? Who cared! Who +asked after a day or two? Was she guilty or not? We all +know how charitable the world is, and how the verdict +of Vanity Fair goes when there is a doubt. Some people +said she had gone to Naples in pursuit of Lord Steyne, +whilst others averred that his Lordship quitted that city +and fled to Palermo on hearing of Becky's arrival; some +said she was living in Bierstadt, and had become a dame +d'honneur to the Queen of Bulgaria; some that she was +at Boulogne; and others, at a boarding-house at +Cheltenham. + +Rawdon made her a tolerable annuity, and we may +be sure that she was a woman who could make a little +money go a great way, as the saying is. He would have +paid his debts on leaving England, could he have got any +Insurance Office to take his life, but the climate of +Coventry Island was so bad that he could borrow no +money on the strength of his salary. He remitted, +however, to his brother punctually, and wrote to his little +boy regularly every mail. He kept Macmurdo in cigars +and sent over quantities of shells, cayenne pepper, hot +pickles, guava jelly, and colonial produce to Lady Jane. +He sent his brother home the Swamp Town Gazette, +in which the new Governor was praised with immense +enthusiasm; whereas the Swamp Town Sentinel, whose +wife was not asked to Government House, declared that +his Excellency was a tyrant, compared to whom Nero +was an enlightened philanthropist. Little Rawdon used +to like to get the papers and read about his Excellency. + +His mother never made any movement to see the child. +He went home to his aunt for Sundays and holidays; he +soon knew every bird's nest about Queen's Crawley, and +rode out with Sir Huddlestone's hounds, which he +admired so on his first well-remembered visit to +Hampshire. + + + +CHAPTER LVI + + +Georgy is Made a Gentleman + +Georgy Osborne was now fairly established in his +grandfather's mansion in Russell Square, occupant of his +father's room in the house and heir apparent of all the +splendours there. The good looks, gallant bearing, and +gentlemanlike appearance of the boy won the grandsire's +heart for him. Mr. Osborne was as proud of him as ever +he had been of the elder George. + +The child had many more luxuries and indulgences than +had been awarded his father. Osborne's commerce had +prospered greatly of late years. His wealth and +importance in the City had very much increased. He had +been glad enough in former days to put the elder George +to a good private school; and a commission in the army +for his son had been a source of no small pride to +him; for little George and his future prospects the old +man looked much higher. He would make a gentleman +of the little chap, was Mr. Osborne's constant saying +regarding little Georgy. He saw him in his mind's eye, a +collegian, a Parliament man, a Baronet, perhaps. The +old man thought he would die contented if he could see +his grandson in a fair way to such honours. He would +have none but a tip-top college man to educate him-- +none of your quacks and pretenders--no, no. A few years +before, he used to be savage, and inveigh against all +parsons, scholars, and the like declaring that they were +a pack of humbugs, and quacks that weren't fit to get +their living but by grinding Latin and Greek, and a set +of supercilious dogs that pretended to look down upon +British merchants and gentlemen, who could buy up half +a hundred of 'em. He would mourn now, in a very +solemn manner, that his own education had been neglected, +and repeatedly point out, in pompous orations to Georgy, +the necessity and excellence of classical acquirements. + +When they met at dinner the grandsire used to ask +the lad what he had been reading during the day, and +was greatly interested at the report the boy gave of his +own studies, pretending to understand little George +when he spoke regarding them. He made a hundred +blunders and showed his ignorance many a time. It did not +increase the respect which the child had for his senior. +A quick brain and a better education elsewhere showed +the boy very soon that his grandsire was a dullard, and +he began accordingly to command him and to look down +upon him; for his previous education, humble and +contracted as it had been, had made a much better +gentleman of Georgy than any plans of his grandfather could +make him. He had been brought up by a kind, weak, +and tender woman, who had no pride about anything +but about him, and whose heart was so pure and whose +bearing was so meek and humble that she could not but +needs be a true lady. She busied herself in gentle offices +and quiet duties; if she never said brilliant things, she +never spoke or thought unkind ones; guileless and artless, +loving and pure, indeed how could our poor little Amelia +be other than a real gentlewoman! + +Young Georgy lorded over this soft and yielding +nature; and the contrast of its simplicity and delicacy with +the coarse pomposity of the dull old man with whom +he next came in contact made him lord over the latter +too. If he had been a Prince Royal he could not have +been better brought up to think well of himself. + +Whilst his mother was yearning after him at home, and +I do believe every hour of the day, and during most +hours of the sad lonely nights, thinking of him, this young +gentleman had a number of pleasures and consolations +administered to him, which made him for his part bear +the separation from Amelia very easily. Little boys who +cry when they are going to school cry because they +are going to a very uncomfortable place. It is only a +few who weep from sheer affection. When you think +that the eyes of your childhood dried at the sight of a +piece of gingerbread, and that a plum cake was a +compensation for the agony of parting with your mamma +and sisters, oh my friend and brother, you need not be +too confident of your own fine feelings. + +Well, then, Master George Osborne had every comfort +and luxury that a wealthy and lavish old grandfather +thought fit to provide. The coachman was instructed to +purchase for him the handsomest pony which could be +bought for money, and on this George was taught to +ride, first at a riding-school, whence, after having +performed satisfactorily without stirrups, and over the +leaping-bar, he was conducted through the New Road to +Regent's Park, and then to Hyde Park, where he rode +in state with Martin the coachman behind him. Old +Osborne, who took matters more easily in the City now, +where he left his affairs to his junior partners, would +often ride out with Miss O. in the same fashionable direction. +As little Georgy came cantering up with his dandified +air and his heels down, his grandfather would nudge +the lad's aunt and say, "Look, Miss O." And he would +laugh, and his face would grow red with pleasure, as +he nodded out of the window to the boy, as the groom +saluted the carriage, and the footman saluted Master +George. Here too his aunt, Mrs. Frederick Bullock +(whose chariot might daily be seen in the Ring, with +bullocks or emblazoned on the panels and harness, and +three pasty-faced little Bullocks, covered with cockades +and feathers, staring from the windows) Mrs. Frederick +Bullock, I say, flung glances of the bitterest hatred at +the little upstart as he rode by with his hand on his side +and his hat on one ear, as proud as a lord. + +Though he was scarcely eleven years of age, Master +George wore straps and the most beautiful little boots +like a man. He had gilt spurs, and a gold-headed whip, +and a fine pin in his handkerchief, and the neatest little +kid gloves which Lamb's Conduit Street could furnish. +His mother had given him a couple of neckcloths, and +carefully hemmed and made some little shirts for him; +but when her Eli came to see the widow, they were +replaced by much finer linen. He had little jewelled buttons +in the lawn shirt fronts. Her humble presents had been put +aside--I believe Miss Osborne had given them to the +coachman's boy. Amelia tried to think she was pleased +at the change. Indeed, she was happy and charmed to +see the boy looking so beautiful. + +She had had a little black profile of him done for a +shilling, and this was hung up by the side of another +portrait over her bed. One day the boy came on his +accustomed visit, galloping down the little street at +Brompton, and bringing, as usual, all the inhabitants to the +windows to admire his splendour, and with great eagerness +and a look of triumph in his face, he pulled a case +out of his great-coat--it was a natty white great-coat, +with a cape and a velvet collar--pulled out a red +morocco case, which he gave her. + +"I bought it with my own money, Mamma," he said. +"I thought you'd like it." + +Amelia opened the case, and giving a little cry of +delighted affection, seized the boy and embraced him a +hundred times. It was a miniature-of himself, very prettily +done (though not half handsome enough, we may be +sure, the widow thought). His grandfather had wished +to have a picture of him by an artist whose works, +exhibited in a shop-window, in Southampton Row, had +caught the old gentleman's eye; and George, who had +plenty of money, bethought him of asking the painter +how much a copy of the little portrait would cost, saying +that he would pay for it out of his own money and +that he wanted to give it to his mother. The pleased +painter executed it for a small price, and old Osborne +himself, when he heard of the incident, growled out his +satisfaction and gave the boy twice as many sovereigns +as he paid for the miniature. + +But what was the grandfather's pleasure compared to +Amelia's ecstacy? That proof of the boy's affection +charmed her so that she thought no child in the world +was like hers for goodness. For long weeks after, the +thought of his love made her happy. She slept better +with the picture under her pillow, and how many many +times did she kiss it and weep and pray over it! A +small kindness from those she loved made that timid +heart grateful. Since her parting with George she had had +no such joy and consolation. + +At his new home Master George ruled like a lord; +at dinner he invited the ladies to drink wine with the +utmost coolness, and took off his champagne in a way +which charmed his old grandfather. "Look at him," the +old man would say, nudging his neighbour with a +delighted purple face, "did you ever see such a chap? +Lord, Lord! he'll be ordering a dressing-case next, and +razors to shave with; I'm blessed if he won't." + +The antics of the lad did not, however, delight Mr. +Osborne's friends so much as they pleased the old +gentleman. It gave Mr. Justice Coffin no pleasure to hear +Georgy cut into the conversation and spoil his stories. +Colonel Fogey was not interested in seeing the little boy +half tipsy. Mr. Sergeant Toffy's lady felt no particular +gratitude, when, with a twist of his elbow, he tilted a +glass of port-wine over her yellow satin and laughed at +the disaster; nor was she better pleased, although old +Osborne was highly delighted, when Georgy "whopped" +her third boy (a young gentleman a year older than +Georgy, and by chance home for the holidays from Dr. +Tickleus's at Ealing School) in Russell Square. George's +grandfather gave the boy a couple of sovereigns for that +feat and promised to reward him further for every boy +above his own size and age whom he whopped in a +similar manner. It is difficult to say what good the old man +saw in these combats; he had a vague notion that +quarrelling made boys hardy, and that tyranny was a useful +accomplishment for them to learn. English youth have +been so educated time out of mind, and we have +hundreds of thousands of apologists and admirers of +injustice, misery, and brutality, as perpetrated among +children. Flushed with praise and victory over Master Toffy, +George wished naturally to pursue his conquests further, +and one day as he was strutting about in prodigiously +dandified new clothes, near St. Pancras, and a young +baker's boy made sarcastic comments upon his appearance, +the youthful patrician pulled off his dandy jacket +with great spirit, and giving it in charge to the friend +who accompanied him (Master Todd, of Great Coram +Street, Russell Square, son of the junior partner of the +house of Osborne and Co.), George tried to whop the +little baker. But the chances of war were unfavourable +this time, and the little baker whopped Georgy, who +came home with a rueful black eye and all his fine shirt +frill dabbled with the claret drawn from his own little +nose. He told his grandfather that he had been in +combat with a giant, and frightened his poor mother at +Brompton with long, and by no means authentic, +accounts of the battle. + +This young Todd, of Coram Street, Russell Square, +was Master George's great friend and admirer. They both +had a taste for painting theatrical characters; for +hardbake and raspberry tarts; for sliding and skating in the +Regent's Park and the Serpentine, when the weather +permitted; for going to the play, whither they were often +conducted, by Mr. Osborne's orders, by Rowson, Master +George's appointed body-servant, with whom they sat in +great comfort in the pit. + +In the company of this gentleman they visited all the +principal theatres of the metropolis; knew the names of +all the actors from Drury Lane to Sadler's Wells; and +performed, indeed, many of the plays to the Todd family +and their youthful friends, with West's famous characters, +on their pasteboard theatre. Rowson, the footman, who +was of a generous disposition, would not unfrequently, +when in cash, treat his young master to oysters after +the play, and to a glass of rum-shrub for a night-cap. +We may be pretty certain that Mr. Rowson profited in +his turn by his young master's liberality and gratitude +for the pleasures to which the footman inducted him. + +A famous tailor from the West End of the town-- +Mr. Osborne would have none of your City or Holborn +bunglers, he said, for the boy (though a City tailor was +good enough for HIM)--was summoned to ornament little +George's person, and was told to spare no expense in so +doing. So, Mr. Woolsey, of Conduit Street, gave a loose +to his imagination and sent the child home fancy trousers, +fancy waistcoats, and fancy jackets enough to furnish a +school of little dandies. Georgy had little white +waistcoats for evening parties, and little cut velvet waistcoats +for dinners, and a dear little darling shawl dressing-gown, +for all the world like a little man. He dressed for dinner +every day, "like a regular West End swell," as his +grandfather remarked; one of the domestics was affected to +his special service, attended him at his toilette, +answered his bell, and brought him his letters always on a +silver tray. + +Georgy, after breakfast, would sit in the arm-chair in +the dining-room and read the Morning Post, just like a +grown-up man. "How he DU dam and swear," the +servants would cry, delighted at his precocity. Those who +remembered the Captain his father, declared Master +George was his Pa, every inch of him. He made the house +lively by his activity, his imperiousness, his scolding, and +his good-nature. + +George's education was confided to a neighbouring +scholar and private pedagogue who "prepared young +noblemen and gentlemen for the Universities, the senate, +and the learned professions: whose system did not +embrace the degrading corporal severities still practised at +the ancient places of education, and in whose family the +pupils would find the elegances of refined society and +the confidence and affection of a home." It was in this +way that the Reverend Lawrence Veal of Hart Street, +Bloomsbury, and domestic Chaplain to the Earl of +Bareacres, strove with Mrs. Veal his wife to entice pupils. + +By thus advertising and pushing sedulously, the +domestic Chaplain and his Lady generally succeeded in +having one or two scholars by them--who paid a high +figure and were thought to be in uncommonly comfortable +quarters. There was a large West Indian, whom +nobody came to see, with a mahogany complexion, a woolly +head, and an exceedingly dandyfied appearance; there +was another hulking boy of three-and-twenty whose +education had been neglected and whom Mr. and Mrs. Veal +were to introduce into the polite world; there were two +sons of Colonel Bangles of the East India Company's +Service: these four sat down to dinner at Mrs. Veal's +genteel board, when Georgy was introduced to her +establishment. + +Georgy was, like some dozen other pupils, only a +day boy; he arrived in the morning under the +guardianship of his friend Mr. Rowson, and if it was fine, +would ride away in the afternoon on his pony, followed by +the groom. The wealth of his grandfather was reported +in the school to be prodigious. The Rev. Mr. Veal used +to compliment Georgy upon it personally, warning him +that he was destined for a high station; that it became +him to prepare, by sedulity and docility in youth, for the +lofty duties to which he would be called in mature age; +that obedience in the child was the best preparation for +command in the man; and that he therefore begged George +would not bring toffee into the school and ruin the health +of the Masters Bangles, who had everything they wanted +at the elegant and abundant table of Mrs. Veal. + +With respect to learning, "the Curriculum," as Mr. +Veal loved to call it, was of prodigious extent, and the +young gentlemen in Hart Street might learn a +something of every known science. The Rev. Mr. Veal had +an orrery, an electrifying machine, a turning lathe, a +theatre (in the wash-house), a chemical apparatus, and +what he called a select library of all the works of the +best authors of ancient and modern times and languages. +He took the boys to the British Museum and descanted +upon the antiquities and the specimens of natural history +there, so that audiences would gather round him as he +spoke, and all Bloomsbury highly admired him as a +prodigiously well-informed man. And whenever he spoke +(which he did almost always), he took care to produce the +very finest and longest words of which the vocabulary +gave him the use, rightly judging that it was as cheap to +employ a handsome, large, and sonorous epithet, as to +use a little stingy one. + +Thus he would say to George in school, "I observed +on my return home from taking the indulgence of an +evening's scientific conversation with my excellent friend +Doctor Bulders--a true archaeologian, gentlemen, a true +archaeologian--that the windows of your venerated +grandfather's almost princely mansion in Russell Square were +illuminated as if for the purposes of festivity. Am I right +in my conjecture that Mr. Osborne entertained a society +of chosen spirits round his sumptuous board last night?" + +Little Georgy, who had considerable humour, and used +to mimic Mr. Veal to his face with great spirit and +dexterity, would reply that Mr. V. was quite correct +in his surmise. + +"Then those friends who had the honour of partaking +of Mr. Osborne's hospitality, gentlemen, had no reason, +I will lay any wager, to complain of their repast. I +myself have been more than once so favoured. (By the way, +Master Osborne, you came a little late this morning, and +have been a defaulter in this respect more than once.) +I myself, I say, gentlemen, humble as I am, have been +found not unworthy to share Mr. Osborne's elegant +hospitality. And though I have feasted with the great and +noble of the world--for I presume that I may call my +excellent friend and patron, the Right Honourable George +Earl of Bareacres, one of the number--yet I assure you +that the board of the British merchant was to the full +as richly served, and his reception as gratifying and +noble. Mr. Bluck, sir, we will resume, if you please, +that passage of Eutropis, which was interrupted by the +late arrival of Master Osborne." + +To this great man George's education was for some +time entrusted. Amelia was bewildered by his phrases, +but thought him a prodigy of learning. That poor widow +made friends of Mrs. Veal, for reasons of her own. She +liked to be in the house and see Georgy coming to school +there. She liked to be asked to Mrs. Veal's conversazioni, +which took place once a month (as you were informed on +pink cards, with AOHNH engraved on them), and where +the professor welcomed his pupils and their friends to weak +tea and scientific conversation. Poor little Amelia never +missed one of these entertainments and thought them +delicious so long as she might have Georgy sitting by her. +And she would walk from Brompton in any weather, +and embrace Mrs. Veal with tearful gratitude for the +delightful evening she had passed, when, the company +having retired and Georgy gone off with Mr. Rowson, his +attendant, poor Mrs. Osborne put on her cloaks and +her shawls preparatory to walking home. + +As for the learning which Georgy imbibed under this +valuable master of a hundred sciences, to judge from +the weekly reports which the lad took home to his +grandfather, his progress was remarkable. The names of a +score or more of desirable branches of knowledge were +printed in a table, and the pupil's progress in each was +marked by the professor. In Greek Georgy was +pronounced aristos, in Latin optimus, in French tres bien, +and so forth; and everybody had prizes for everything +at the end of the year. Even Mr. Swartz, the wooly- +headed young gentleman, and half-brother to the +Honourable Mrs. Mac Mull, and Mr. Bluck, the neglected +young pupil of three-and-twenty from the agricultural +district, and that idle young scapegrace of a Master Todd +before mentioned, received little eighteen-penny books, +with "Athene" engraved on them, and a pompous Latin +inscription from the professor to his young friends. + +The family of this Master Todd were hangers-on of +the house of Osborne. The old gentleman had advanced +Todd from being a clerk to be a junior partner in his +establishment. + +Mr. Osborne was the godfather of young Master Todd +(who in subsequent life wrote Mr. Osborne Todd on his +cards and became a man of decided fashion), while Miss +Osborne had accompanied Miss Maria Todd to the font, +and gave her protegee a prayer-book, a collection of +tracts, a volume of very low church poetry, or some +such memento of her goodness every year. Miss O. drove +the Todds out in her carriage now and then; when they +were ill, her footman, in large plush smalls and +waistcoat, brought jellies and delicacies from Russell Square to +Coram Street. Coram Street trembled and looked up to +Russell Square indeed, and Mrs. Todd, who had a pretty +hand at cutting out paper trimmings for haunches of +mutton, and could make flowers, ducks, &c., out of turnips +and carrots in a very creditable manner, would go to "the +Square," as it was called, and assist in the preparations +incident to a great dinner, without even so much as +thinking of sitting down to the banquet. If any guest failed at +the eleventh hour, Todd was asked to dine. Mrs. Todd and +Maria came across in the evening, slipped in with a muffled +knock, and were in the drawing-room by the time Miss +Osborne and the ladies under her convoy reached that +apartment--and ready to fire off duets and sing until +the gentlemen came up. Poor Maria Todd; poor young +lady! How she had to work and thrum at these duets +and sonatas in the Street, before they appeared in public +in the Square! + +Thus it seemed to be decreed by fate that Georgy +was to domineer over everybody with whom he came in +contact, and that friends, relatives, and domestics were +all to bow the knee before the little fellow. It must +be owned that he accommodated himself very willingly +to this arrangement. Most people do so. And Georgy +liked to play the part of master and perhaps had a +natural aptitude for it. + +In Russell Square everybody was afraid of Mr. Osborne, +and Mr. Osborne was afraid of Georgy. The boy's +dashing manners, and offhand rattle about books and +learning, his likeness to his father (dead unreconciled in +Brussels yonder) awed the old gentleman and gave the +young boy the mastery. The old man would start at +some hereditary feature or tone unconsciously used by +the little lad, and fancy that George's father was again +before him. He tried by indulgence to the grandson to +make up for harshness to the elder George. People were +surprised at his gentleness to the boy. He growled and +swore at Miss Osborne as usual, and would smile when +George came down late for breakfast. + +Miss Osborne, George's aunt, was a faded old spinster, +broken down by more than forty years of dulness and +coarse usage. It was easy for a lad of spirit to master her. +And whenever George wanted anything from her, from the +jam-pots in her cupboards to the cracked and dry old +colours in her paint-box (the old paint-box which she +had had when she was a pupil of Mr. Smee and was +still almost young and blooming), Georgy took possession +of the object of his desire, which obtained, he took no +further notice of his aunt. + +For his friends and cronies, he had a pompous old +schoolmaster, who flattered him, and a toady, his senior, +whom he could thrash. It was dear Mrs. Todd's delight to +leave him with her youngest daughter, Rosa Jemima, a +darling child of eight years old. The little pair looked so +well together, she would say (but not to the folks in "the +Square," we may be sure) "who knows what might +happen? Don't they make a pretty little couple?" the +fond mother thought. + +The broken-spirited, old, maternal grandfather was +likewise subject to the little tyrant. He could not help +respecting a lad who had such fine clothes and rode with +a groom behind him. Georgy, on his side, was in the +constant habit of hearing coarse abuse and vulgar satire +levelled at John Sedley by his pitiless old enemy, Mr. +Osborne. Osborne used to call the other the old pauper, +the old coal-man, the old bankrupt, and by many other +such names of brutal contumely. How was little George +to respect a man so prostrate? A few months after he +was with his paternal grandfather, Mrs. Sedley died. +There had been little love between her and the child. +He did not care to show much grief. He came down to +visit his mother in a fine new suit of mourning, and was +very angry that he could not go to a play upon which +he had set his heart. + +The illness of that old lady had been the occupation +and perhaps the safeguard of Amelia. What do men know +about women's martyrdoms? We should go mad had +we to endure the hundredth part of those daily pains +which are meekly borne by many women. Ceaseless +slavery meeting with no reward; constant gentleness and +kindness met by cruelty as constant; love, labour, patience, +watchfulness, without even so much as the acknowledgement +of a good word; all this, how many of them have +to bear in quiet, and appear abroad with cheerful faces +as if they felt nothing. Tender slaves that they are, they +must needs be hypocrites and weak. + +From her chair Amelia's mother had taken to her bed, +which she had never left, and from which Mrs. Osborne +herself was never absent except when she ran to see +George. The old lady grudged her even those rare visits; +she, who had been a kind, smiling, good-natured mother +once, in the days of her prosperity, but whom poverty +and infirmities had broken down. Her illness or estrangement +did not affect Amelia. They rather enabled her to +support the other calamity under which she was suffering, +and from the thoughts of which she was kept by the +ceaseless calls of the invalid. Amelia bore her harshness +quite gently; smoothed the uneasy pillow; was always +ready with a soft answer to the watchful, querulous +voice; soothed the sufferer with words of hope, such as +her pious simple heart could best feel and utter, and +closed the eyes that had once looked so tenderly upon +her. + +Then all her time and tenderness were devoted to the +consolation and comfort of the bereaved old father, who +was stunned by the blow which had befallen him, and +stood utterly alone in the world. His wife, his honour, +his fortune, everything he loved best had fallen away +from him. There was only Amelia to stand by and support +with her gentle arms the tottering, heart-broken old man. +We are not going to write the history: it would be too +dreary and stupid. I can see Vanity Fair yawning over it +d'avance. + +One day as the young gentlemen were assembled +in the study at the Rev. Mr. Veal's, and the domestic +chaplain to the Right Honourable the Earl of Bareacres +was spouting away as usual, a smart carriage drove up +to the door decorated with the statue of Athene, and two +gentlemen stepped out. The young Masters Bangles rushed +to the window with a vague notion that their father +might have arrived from Bombay. The great hulking +scholar of three-and-twenty, who was crying secretly over a +passage of Eutropius, flattened his neglected nose against +the panes and looked at the drag, as the laquais de place +sprang from the box and let out the persons in the carriage. + +"It's a fat one and a thin one," Mr. Bluck said as a +thundering knock came to the door. + +Everybody was interested, from the domestic chaplain +himself, who hoped he saw the fathers of some future +pupils, down to Master Georgy, glad of any pretext for +laying his book down. + +The boy in the shabby livery with the faded copper +buttons, who always thrust himself into the tight coat +to open the door, came into the study and said, "Two +gentlemen want to see Master Osborne." The professor +had had a trifling altercation in the morning with that +young gentleman, owing to a difference about the +introduction of crackers in school-time; but his face +resumed its habitual expression of bland courtesy as he +said, "Master Osborne, I give you full permission to go +and see your carriage friends--to whom I beg you to +convey the respectful compliments of myself and Mrs. +Veal." + +Georgy went into the reception-room and saw two +strangers, whom he looked at with his head up, in his +usual haughty manner. One was fat, with mustachios, +and the other was lean and long, in a blue frock-coat, +with a brown face and a grizzled head. + +"My God, how like he is!" said the long gentleman +with a start. "Can you guess who we are, George?" + +The boy's face flushed up, as it did usually when he +was moved, and his eyes brightened. "I don't know the +other," he said, "but I should think you must be Major +Dobbin." + +Indeed it was our old friend. His voice trembled +with pleasure as he greeted the boy, and taking both the +other's hands in his own, drew the lad to him. + +"Your mother has talked to you about me--has +she?" he said. + +"That she has," Georgy answered, "hundreds and +hundreds of times." + + + + +CHAPTER LVII + + +Eothen + +It was one of the many causes for personal pride +with which old Osborne chose to recreate himself +that Sedley, his ancient rival, enemy, and benefactor, +was in his last days so utterly defeated and humiliated +as to be forced to accept pecuniary obligations at the +hands of the man who had most injured and insulted +him. The successful man of the world cursed the old +pauper and relieved him from time to time. As he +furnished George with money for his mother, he gave +the boy to understand by hints, delivered in his brutal, +coarse way, that George's maternal grandfather was +but a wretched old bankrupt and dependant, and that +John Sedley might thank the man to whom he already +owed ever so much money for the aid which his generosity +now chose to administer. George carried the pompous +supplies to his mother and the shattered old widower whom +it was now the main business of her life to tend and +comfort. The little fellow patronized the feeble and +disappointed old man. + +It may have shown a want of "proper pride" in +Amelia that she chose to accept these money benefits at +the hands of her father's enemy. But proper pride and +this poor lady had never had much acquaintance together. +A disposition naturally simple and demanding protection; +a long course of poverty and humility, of daily privations, +and hard words, of kind offices and no returns, had been +her lot ever since womanhood almost, or since her +luckless marriage with George Osborne. You who see your +betters bearing up under this shame every day, meekly +suffering under the slights of fortune, gentle and unpitied, +poor, and rather despised for their poverty, do you ever +step down from your prosperity and wash the feet of +these poor wearied beggars? The very thought of them is +odious and low. "There must be classes--there must be +rich and poor," Dives says, smacking his claret (it is +well if he even sends the broken meat out to Lazarus +sitting under the window). Very true; but think how +mysterious and often unaccountable it is--that lottery +of life which gives to this man the purple and fine linen +and sends to the other rags for garments and dogs for +comforters. + +So I must own that, without much repining, on the +contrary with something akin to gratitude, Amelia took the +crumbs that her father-in-law let drop now and then, +and with them fed her own parent. Directly she understood +it to be her duty, it was this young woman's nature +(ladies, she is but thirty still, and we choose to call her +a young woman even at that age) it was, I say, her +nature to sacrifice herself and to fling all that she had at +the feet of the beloved object. During what long thankless +nights had she worked out her fingers for little Georgy +whilst at home with her; what buffets, scorns, privations, +poverties had she endured for father and mother! And +in the midst of all these solitary resignations and unseen +sacrifices, she did not respect herself any more than the +world respected her, but I believe thought in her heart +that she was a poor-spirited, despicable little creature, +whose luck in life was only too good for her merits. O +you poor women! O you poor secret martyrs and victims, +whose life is a torture, who are stretched on racks in +your bedrooms, and who lay your heads down on the +block daily at the drawing-room table; every man who +watches your pains, or peers into those dark places where +the torture is administered to you, must pity you--and +--and thank God that he has a beard. I recollect seeing, +years ago, at the prisons for idiots and madmen at +Bicetre, near Paris, a poor wretch bent down under +the bondage of his imprisonment and his personal +infirmity, to whom one of our party gave a halfpenny worth +of snuff in a cornet or "screw" of paper. The kindness +was too much for the poor epileptic creature. He cried +in an anguish of delight and gratitude: if anybody gave +you and me a thousand a year, or saved our lives, we +could not be so affected. And so, if you properly tyrannize +over a woman, you will find a h'p'orth of kindness act +upon her and bring tears into her eyes, as though you +were an angel benefiting her. + +Some such boons as these were the best which Fortune +allotted to poor little Amelia. Her life, begun not +unprosperously, had come down to this--to a mean prison +and a long, ignoble bondage. Little George visited her +captivity sometimes and consoled it with feeble gleams +of encouragement. Russell Square was the boundary of +her prison: she might walk thither occasionally, but was +always back to sleep in her cell at night; to perform +cheerless duties; to watch by thankless sick-beds; to +suffer the harassment and tyranny of querulous +disappointed old age. How many thousands of people are +there, women for the most part, who are doomed to endure +this long slavery?--who are hospital nurses without +wages--sisters of Charity, if you like, without the +romance and the sentiment of sacrifice--who strive, fast, +watch, and suffer, unpitied, and fade away ignobly and +unknown. + +The hidden and awful Wisdom which apportions the +destinies of mankind is pleased so to humiliate and cast +down the tender, good, and wise, and to set up the selfish, +the foolish, or the wicked. Oh, be humble, my brother, +in your prosperity! Be gentle with those who are less +lucky, if not more deserving. Think, what right have you +to be scornful, whose virtue is a deficiency of temptation, +whose success may be a chance, whose rank may be +an ancestor's accident, whose prosperity is very likely +a satire. + +They buried Amelia's mother in the churchyard at +Brompton, upon just such a rainy, dark day as Amelia +recollected when first she had been there to marry George. +Her little boy sat by her side in pompous new sables. +She remembered the old pew-woman and clerk. Her +thoughts were away in other times as the parson read. +But that she held George's hand in her own, perhaps she +would have liked to change places with.... Then, as +usual, she felt ashamed of her selfish thoughts and prayed +inwardly to be strengthened to do her duty. + +So she determined with all her might and strength to +try and make her old father happy. She slaved, toiled, +patched, and mended, sang and played backgammon, read +out the newspaper, cooked dishes, for old Sedley, walked +him out sedulously into Kensington Gardens or the Brompton +Lanes, listened to his stories with untiring smiles and +affectionate hypocrisy, or sat musing by his side and +communing with her own thoughts and reminiscences, +as the old man, feeble and querulous, sunned himself on +the garden benches and prattled about his wrongs or his +sorrows. What sad, unsatisfactory thoughts those of the +widow were! The children running up and down the +slopes and broad paths in the gardens reminded her of +George, who was taken from her; the first George was +taken from her; her selfish, guilty love, in both instances, +had been rebuked and bitterly chastised. She strove to +think it was right that she should be so punished. She +was such a miserable wicked sinner. She was quite +alone in the world. + +I know that the account of this kind of solitary +imprisonment is insufferably tedious, unless there is some +cheerful or humorous incident to enliven it--a tender gaoler, +for instance, or a waggish commandant of the fortress, +or a mouse to come out and play about Latude's beard +and whiskers, or a subterranean passage under the castle, +dug by Trenck with his nails and a toothpick: the historian +has no such enlivening incident to relate in the narrative +of Amelia's captivity. Fancy her, if you please, during this +period, very sad, but always ready to smile when spoken +to; in a very mean, poor, not to say vulgar position of +life; singing songs, making puddings, playing cards, +mending stockings, for her old father's benefit. So, never +mind, whether she be a heroine or no; or you and I, however +old, scolding, and bankrupt--may we have in our last days +a kind soft shoulder on which to lean and a gentle hand +to soothe our gouty old pillows. + +Old Sedley grew very fond of his daughter after his +wife's death, and Amelia had her consolation in doing her +duty by the old man. + +But we are not going to leave these two people long in +such a low and ungenteel station of life. Better days, as +far as worldly prosperity went, were in store for both. +Perhaps the ingenious reader has guessed who was the +stout gentleman who called upon Georgy at his school in +company with our old friend Major Dobbin. It was +another old acquaintance returned to England, and at a time +when his presence was likely to be of great comfort to +his relatives there. + +Major Dobbin having easily succeeded in getting leave +from his good-natured commandant to proceed to +Madras, and thence probably to Europe, on urgent private +affairs, never ceased travelling night and day until he +reached his journey's end, and had directed his march +with such celerity that he arrived at Madras in a high +fever. His servants who accompanied him brought him +to the house of the friend with whom he had resolved to +stay until his departure for Europe in a state of delirium; +and it was thought for many, many days that he would +never travel farther than the burying-ground of the church +of St. George's, where the troops should fire a salvo over +his grave, and where many a gallant officer lies far away +from his home. + +Here, as the poor fellow lay tossing in his fever, the +people who watched him might have heard him raving +about Amelia. The idea that he should never see her again +depressed him in his lucid hours. He thought his last day +was come, and he made his solemn preparations for +departure, setting his affairs in this world in order and +leaving the little property of which he was possessed to +those whom he most desired to benefit. The friend in +whose house he was located witnessed his testament. He +desired to be buried with a little brown hair-chain which +he wore round his neck and which, if the truth must be +known, he had got from Amelia's maid at Brussels, when +the young widow's hair was cut off, during the fever +which prostrated her after the death of George Osborne +on the plateau at Mount St. John. + +He recovered, rallied, relapsed again, having undergone +such a process of blood-letting and calomel as +showed the strength of his original constitution. He was +almost a skeleton when they put him on board the +Ramchunder East Indiaman, Captain Bragg, from Calcutta, +touching at Madras, and so weak and prostrate that his +friend who had tended him through his illness prophesied +that the honest Major would never survive the voyage, +and that he would pass some morning, shrouded in +flag and hammock, over the ship's side, and carrying +down to the sea with him the relic that he wore at his +heart. But whether it was the sea air, or the hope which +sprung up in him afresh, from the day that the ship +spread her canvas and stood out of the roads towards +home, our friend began to amend, and he was quite +well (though as gaunt as a greyhound) before they +reached the Cape. "Kirk will be disappointed of his +majority this time," he said with a smile; "he will +expect to find himself gazetted by the time the regiment +reaches home." For it must be premised that while the +Major was lying ill at Madras, having made such +prodigious haste to go thither, the gallant --th, which had +passed many years abroad, which after its return from +the West Indies had been baulked of its stay at home by +the Waterloo campaign, and had been ordered from +Flanders to India, had received orders home; and the Major +might have accompanied his comrades, had he chosen to +wait for their arrival at Madras. + +Perhaps he was not inclined to put himself in his +exhausted state again under the guardianship of Glorvina. +"I think Miss O'Dowd would have done for me," he said +laughingly to a fellow-passenger, "if we had had her on +board, and when she had sunk me, she would have fallen +upon you, depend upon it, and carried you in as a prize +to Southampton, Jos, my boy." + +For indeed it was no other than our stout friend +who was also a passenger on board the Ramchunder. He +had passed ten years in Bengal. Constant dinners, tiffins, +pale ale and claret, the prodigious labour of cutcherry, +and the refreshment of brandy-pawnee which he was +forced to take there, had their effect upon Waterloo Sedley. +A voyage to Europe was pronounced necessary for him-- +and having served his full time in India and had fine +appointments which had enabled him to lay by a considerable +sum of money, he was free to come home and stay +with a good pension, or to return and resume that rank +in the service to which his seniority and his vast talents +entitled him. + +He was rather thinner than when we last saw him, +but had gained in majesty and solemnity of demeanour. +He had resumed the mustachios to which his services at +Waterloo entitled him, and swaggered about on deck in a +magnificent velvet cap with a gold band and a profuse +ornamentation of pins and jewellery about his person. +He took breakfast in his cabin and dressed as solemnly to +appear on the quarter-deck as if he were going to turn out +for Bond Street, or the Course at Calcutta. He brought a +native servant with him, who was his valet and pipe- +bearer and who wore the Sedley crest in silver on his +turban. That oriental menial had a wretched life under +the tyranny of Jos Sedley. Jos was as vain of his person +as a woman, and took as long a time at his toilette as +any fading beauty. The youngsters among the +passengers, Young Chaffers of the 150th, and poor little +Ricketts, coming home after his third fever, used to draw +out Sedley at the cuddy-table and make him tell +prodigious stories about himself and his exploits against tigers +and Napoleon. He was great when he visited the +Emperor's tomb at Longwood, when to these gentlemen and +the young officers of the ship, Major Dobbin not being by, +he described the whole battle of Waterloo and all but +announced that Napoleon never would have gone to Saint +Helena at all but for him, Jos Sedley. + +After leaving St. Helena he became very generous, +disposing of a great quantity of ship stores, claret, +preserved meats, and great casks packed with soda-water, +brought out for his private delectation. There were no +ladies on board; the Major gave the pas of precedency +to the civilian, so that he was the first dignitary at +table, and treated by Captain Bragg and the officers of +the Ramchunder with the respect which his rank +warranted. He disappeared rather in a panic during a two- +days' gale, in which he had the portholes of his cabin +battened down, and remained in his cot reading the +Washerwoman of Finchley Common, left on board the +Ramchunder by the Right Honourable the Lady Emily +Hornblower, wife of the Rev. Silas Hornblower, when on +their passage out to the Cape, where the Reverend gentleman +was a missionary; but, for common reading, he had +brought a stock of novels and plays which he lent to the +rest of the ship, and rendered himself agreeable to all by +his kindness and condescension. + +Many and many a night as the ship was cutting through +the roaring dark sea, the moon and stars shining +overhead and the bell singing out the watch, Mr. Sedley and +the Major would sit on the quarter-deck of the vessel +talking about home, as the Major smoked his cheroot and +the civilian puffed at the hookah which his servant +prepared for him. + +In these conversations it was wonderful with what +perseverance and ingenuity Major Dobbin would manage +to bring the talk round to the subject of Amelia and her +little boy. Jos, a little testy about his father's misfortunes +and unceremonious applications to him, was soothed +down by the Major, who pointed out the elder's ill +fortunes and old age. He would not perhaps like to live with +the old couple, whose ways and hours might not agree +with those of a younger man, accustomed to different +society (Jos bowed at this compliment); but, the Major +pointed out, how advantageous it would be for Jos Sedley +to have a house of his own in London, and not a +mere bachelor's establishment as before; how his sister +Amelia would be the very person to preside over it; how +elegant, how gentle she was, and of what refined good +manners. He recounted stories of the success which Mrs. +George Osborne had had in former days at Brussels, and +in London, where she was much admired by people of +very great fashion; and he then hinted how becoming it +would be for Jos to send Georgy to a good school and +make a man of him, for his mother and her parents +would be sure to spoil him. In a word, this artful Major +made the civilian promise to take charge of Amelia and +her unprotected child. He did not know as yet what +events had happened in the little Sedley family, and how +death had removed the mother, and riches had carried +off George from Amelia. But the fact is that every day +and always, this love-smitten and middle-aged gentleman +was thinking about Mrs. Osborne, and his whole heart +was bent upon doing her good. He coaxed, wheedled, +cajoled, and complimented Jos Sedley with a perseverance +and cordiality of which he was not aware himself, +very likely; but some men who have unmarried sisters +or daughters even, may remember how uncommonly +agreeable gentlemen are to the male relations when they +are courting the females; and perhaps this rogue of a +Dobbin was urged by a similar hypocrisy. + +The truth is, when Major Dobbin came on board the +Ramchumder, very sick, and for the three days she lay +in the Madras Roads, he did not begin to rally, nor did +even the appearance and recognition of his old acquaintance, +Mr. Sedley, on board much cheer him, until after a +conversation which they had one day, as the Major was +laid languidly on the deck. He said then he thought he +was doomed; he had left a little something to his godson +in his will, and he trusted Mrs. Osborne would remember +him kindly and be happy in the marriage she was +about to make. "Married? not the least," Jos answered; +"he had heard from her: she made no mention of the +marriage, and by the way, it was curious, she wrote to +say that Major Dobbin was going to be married, and +hoped that HE would be happy." What were the dates of +Sedley's letters from Europe? The civilian fetched them. +They were two months later than the Major's; and the +ship's surgeon congratulated himself upon the treatment +adopted by him towards his new patient, who had been +consigned to shipboard by the Madras practitioner with +very small hopes indeed; for, from that day, the very +day that he changed the draught, Major Dobbin began +to mend. And thus it was that deserving officer, Captain +Kirk, was disappointed of his majority. + +After they passed St. Helena, Major Dobbin's gaiety +and strength was such as to astonish all his fellow +passengers. He larked with the midshipmen, played single- +stick with the mates, ran up the shrouds like a boy, sang +a comic song one night to the amusement of the whole +party assembled over their grog after supper, and +rendered himself so gay, lively, and amiable that even +Captain Bragg, who thought there was nothing in his +passenger, and considered he was a poor-spirited feller at +first, was constrained to own that the Major was a +reserved but well-informed and meritorious officer. "He +ain't got distangy manners, dammy," Bragg observed to +his first mate; "he wouldn't do at Government House, +Roper, where his Lordship and Lady William was as kind +to me, and shook hands with me before the whole +company, and asking me at dinner to take beer with him, +before the Commander-in-Chief himself; he ain't got +manners, but there's something about him--" And thus +Captain Bragg showed that he possessed discrimination +as a man, as well as ability as a commander. + +But a calm taking place when the Ramchunder was +within ten days' sail of England, Dobbin became so +impatient and ill-humoured as to surprise those comrades +who had before admired his vivacity and good temper. +He did not recover until the breeze sprang up again, and +was in a highly excited state when the pilot came on +board. Good God, how his heart beat as the two friendly +spires of Southampton came in sight. + + + + +CHAPTER LVIII + + +Our Friend the Major + +Our Major had rendered himself so popular on board +the Ramchunder that when he and Mr. Sedley descended +into the welcome shore-boat which was to take them +from the ship, the whole crew, men and officers, the +great Captain Bragg himself leading off, gave three cheers +for Major Dobbin, who blushed very much and ducked +his head in token of thanks. Jos, who very likely thought +the cheers were for himself, took off his gold-laced cap +and waved it majestically to his friends, and they were +pulled to shore and landed with great dignity at the pier, +whence they proceeded to the Royal George Hotel. + +Although the sight of that magnificent round of beef, +and the silver tankard suggestive of real British home- +brewed ale and porter, which perennially greet the eyes +of the traveller returning from foreign parts who enters +the coffee-room of the George, are so invigorating and +delightful that a man entering such a comfortable snug +homely English inn might well like to stop some days +there, yet Dobbin began to talk about a post-chaise +instantly, and was no sooner at Southampton than he +wished to be on the road to London. Jos, however, would +not hear of moving that evening. Why was he to pass a +night in a post-chaise instead of a great large undulating +downy feather-bed which was there ready to replace +the horrid little narrow crib in which the portly Bengal +gentleman had been confined during the voyage? He +could not think of moving till his baggage was cleared, +or of travelling until he could do so with his chillum. So +the Major was forced to wait over that night, and +dispatched a letter to his family announcing his arrival, +entreating from Jos a promise to write to his own +friends. Jos promised, but didn't keep his promise. The +Captain, the surgeon, and one or two passengers came +and dined with our two gentlemen at the inn, Jos exerting +himself in a sumptuous way in ordering the dinner +and promising to go to town the next day with the Major. +The landlord said it did his eyes good to see Mr. Sedley +take off his first pint of porter. If I had time and dared +to enter into digressions, I would write a chapter about +that first pint of porter drunk upon English ground. Ah, +how good it is! It is worth-while to leave home for a +year, just to enjoy that one draught. + +Major Dobbin made his appearance the next morning +very neatly shaved and dressed, according to his wont. +Indeed, it was so early in the morning that nobody was +up in the house except that wonderful Boots of an inn +who never seems to want sleep; and the Major could +hear the snores of the various inmates of the house roaring +through the corridors as he creaked about in those +dim passages. Then the sleepless Boots went shirking +round from door to door, gathering up at each the +Bluchers, Wellingtons, Oxonians, which stood outside. Then +Jos's native servant arose and began to get ready his +master's ponderous dressing apparatus and prepare his +hookah; then the maidservants got up, and meeting the +dark man in the passages, shrieked, and mistook him for +the devil. He and Dobbin stumbled over their pails in +the passages as they were scouring the decks of the +Royal George. When the first unshorn waiter appeared +and unbarred the door of the inn, the Major thought that +the time for departure was arrived, and ordered a post- +chaise to be fetched instantly, that they might set off. + +He then directed his steps to Mr. Sedley's room and +opened the curtains of the great large family bed wherein +Mr. Jos was snoring. "Come, up! Sedley," the Major +said, "it's time to be off; the chaise will be at the door in +half an hour." + +Jos growled from under the counterpane to know +what the time was; but when he at last extorted from the +blushing Major (who never told fibs, however they might +be to his advantage) what was the real hour of the +morning, he broke out into a volley of bad language, which +we will not repeat here, but by which he gave Dobbin to +understand that he would jeopardy his soul if he got up +at that moment, that the Major might go and be hanged, +that he would not travel with Dobbin, and that it was +most unkind and ungentlemanlike to disturb a man out +of his sleep in that way; on which the discomfited Major +was obliged to retreat, leaving Jos to resume his +interrupted slumbers. + +The chaise came up presently, and the Major would +wait no longer. + +If he had been an English nobleman travelling on a +pleasure tour, or a newspaper courier bearing dispatches +(government messages are generally carried much more +quietly), he could not have travelled more quickly. The +post-boys wondered at the fees he flung amongst them. +How happy and green the country looked as the chaise +whirled rapidly from mile-stone to mile-stone, through +neat country towns where landlords came out to +welcome him with smiles and bows; by pretty roadside inns, +where the signs hung on the elms, and horses and +waggoners were drinking under the chequered shadow of the +trees; by old halls and parks; rustic hamlets clustered +round ancient grey churches--and through the charming +friendly English landscape. Is there any in the world +like it? To a traveller returning home it looks so kind-- +it seems to shake hands with you as you pass through it. +Well, Major Dobbin passed through all this from +Southampton to London, and without noting much beyond the +milestones along the road. You see he was so eager to +see his parents at Camberwell. + +He grudged the time lost between Piccadilly and his +old haunt at the Slaughters', whither he drove faithfully. +Long years had passed since he saw it last, since he and +George, as young men, had enjoyed many a feast, and +held many a revel there. He had now passed into the +stage of old-fellow-hood. His hair was grizzled, and many +a passion and feeling of his youth had grown grey in that +interval. There, however, stood the old waiter at the +door, in the same greasy black suit, with the same +double chin and flaccid face, with the same huge bunch of +seals at his fob, rattling his money in his pockets as +before, and receiving the Major as if he had gone away +only a week ago. "Put the Major's things in twenty-three, +that's his room," John said, exhibiting not the least +surprise. "Roast fowl for your dinner, I suppose. You ain't +got married? They said you was married--the Scotch +surgeon of yours was here. No, it was Captain Humby of +the thirty-third, as was quartered with the --th in Injee. +Like any warm water? ~What do you come in a chay for-- +ain't the coach good enough?" And with this, the faithful +waiter, who knew and remembered every officer who +used the house, and with whom ten years were but as +yesterday, led the way up to Dobbin's old room, where +stood the great moreen bed, and the shabby carpet, a +thought more dingy, and all the old black furniture +covered with faded chintz, just as the Major recollected +them in his youth. + +He remembered George pacing up and down the room, +and biting his nails, and swearing that the Governor must +come round, and that if he didn't, he didn't care a straw, +on the day before he was married. He could fancy him +walking in, banging the door of Dobbin's room, and his +own hard by-- + +"You ain't got young," John said, calmly surveying his +friend of former days. + +Dobbin laughed. "Ten years and a fever don't make a +man young, John," he said. "It is you that are always +young--no, you are always old." + +"What became of Captain Osborne's widow?" John +said. "Fine young fellow that. Lord, how he used to +spend his money. He never came back after that day he +was marched from here. He owes me three pound at this +minute. Look here, I have it in my book. 'April 10, +1815, Captain Osborne: '3pounds.' I wonder whether his +father would pay me," and so saying, John of the Slaughters' +pulled out the very morocco pocket-book in which +he had noted his loan to the Captain, upon a greasy +faded page still extant, with many other scrawled +memoranda regarding the bygone frequenters of the house. + +Having inducted his customer into the room, John +retired with perfect calmness; and Major Dobbin, not +without a blush and a grin at his own absurdity, chose out of +his kit the very smartest and most becoming civil +costume he possessed, and laughed at his own tanned face +and grey hair, as he surveyed them in the dreary little +toilet-glass on the dressing-table. + +"I'm glad old John didn't forget me," he thought. +"She'll know me, too, I hope." And he sallied out of the +inn, bending his steps once more in the direction of +Brompton. + +Every minute incident of his last meeting with Amelia +was present to the constant man's mind as he walked +towards her house. The arch and the Achilles statue were +up since he had last been in Piccadilly; a hundred +changes had occurred which his eye and mind vaguely +noted. He began to tremble as he walked up the lane +from Brompton, that well-remembered lane leading to +the street where she lived. Was she going to be married +or not? If he were to meet her with the little boy--Good +God, what should he do? He saw a woman coming to him +with a child of five years old--was that she? He began +to shake at the mere possibility. When he came up to +the row of houses, at last, where she lived, and to the +gate, he caught hold of it and paused. He might have +heard the thumping of his own heart. "May God Almighty +bless her, whatever has happened," he thought to +himself. "Psha! she may be gone from here," he said +and went in through the gate. + +The window of the parlour which she used to occupy +was open, and there were no inmates in the room. The +Major thought he recognized the piano, though, with the +picture over it, as it used to be in former days, and his +perturbations were renewed. Mr. Clapp's brass plate was +still on the door, at the knocker of which Dobbin +performed a summons. + +A buxom-looking lass of sixteen, with bright eyes and +purple cheeks, came to answer the knock and looked +hard at the Major as he leant back against the little +porch. + +He was as pale as a ghost and could hardly falter out +the words--"Does Mrs. Osborne live here?" + +She looked him hard in the face for a moment--and +then turning white too--said, "Lord bless me--it's +Major Dobbin." She held out both her hands shaking-- +"Don't you remember me?" she said. "I used to call you +Major Sugarplums." On which, and I believe it was for +the first time that he ever so conducted himself in his +life, the Major took the girl in his arms and kissed her. +She began to laugh and cry hysterically, and calling out +"Ma, Pa!" with all her voice, brought up those worthy +people, who had already been surveying the Major from +the casement of the ornamental kitchen, and were +astonished to find their daughter in the little passage in +the embrace of a great tall man in a blue frock-coat and +white duck trousers. + +"I'm an old friend," he said--not without blushing +though. "Don't you remember me, Mrs. Clapp, and those +good cakes you used to make for tea? Don't you recollect +me, Clapp? I'm George's godfather, and just come +back from India." A great shaking of hands ensued-- +Mrs. Clapp was greatly affected and delighted; she called +upon heaven to interpose a vast many times in that +passage. + +The landlord and landlady of the house led the worthy +Major into the Sedleys' room (whereof he remembered +every single article of furniture, from the old brass +ornamented piano, once a natty little instrument, Stothard +maker, to the screens and the alabaster miniature tombstone, +in the midst of which ticked Mr. Sedley's gold +watch), and there, as he sat down in the lodger's vacant +arm-chair, the father, the mother, and the daughter, +with a thousand ejaculatory breaks in the narrative, +informed Major Dobbin of what we know already, but of +particulars in Amelia's history of which he was not aware +--namely of Mrs. Sedley's death, of George's reconcilement +with his grandfather Osborne, of the way in which +the widow took on at leaving him, and of other particulars +of her life. Twice or thrice he was going to ask +about the marriage question, but his heart failed him. +He did not care to lay it bare to these people. Finally, +he was informed that Mrs. O. was gone to walk with her +pa in Kensington Gardens, whither she always went with +the old gentleman (who was very weak and peevish now, +and led her a sad life, though she behaved to him like an +angel, to be sure), of a fine afternoon, after dinner. + +"I'm very much pressed for time," the Major said, +"and have business to-night of importance. I should like +to see Mrs. Osborne tho'. Suppose Miss Polly would +come with me and show me the way?" + +Miss Polly was charmed and astonished at this +proposal. She knew the way. She would show Major +Dobbin. She had often been with Mr. Sedley when Mrs. O. +was gone--was gone Russell Square way--and knew the +bench where he liked to sit. She bounced away to her +apartment and appeared presently in her best bonnet +and her mamma's yellow shawl and large pebble brooch, +of which she assumed the loan in order to make herself +a worthy companion for the Major. + +That officer, then, in his blue frock-coat and buckskin +gloves, gave the young lady his arm, and they walked +away very gaily. He was glad to have a friend at hand +for the scene which he dreaded somehow. He asked a +thousand more questions from his companion about +Amelia: his kind heart grieved to think that she should +have had to part with her son. How did she bear it? Did +she see him often? Was Mr. Sedley pretty comfortable +now in a worldly point of view? Polly answered all these +questions of Major Sugarplums to the very best of her +power. + +And in the midst of their walk an incident occurred +which, though very simple in its nature, was productive +of the greatest delight to Major Dobbin. A pale young +man with feeble whiskers and a stiff white neckcloth came +walking down the lane, en sandwich--having a lady, that +is, on each arm. One was a tall and commanding middle- +aged female, with features and a complexion similar to +those of the clergyman of the Church of England by +whose side she marched, and the other a stunted little +woman with a dark face, ornamented by a fine new bonnet +and white ribbons, and in a smart pelisse, with a rich +gold watch in the midst of her person. The gentleman, +pinioned as he was by these two ladies, carried further a +parasol, shawl, and basket, so that his arms were entirely +engaged, and of course he was unable to touch his hat in +acknowledgement of the curtsey with which Miss Mary +Clapp greeted him. + +He merely bowed his head in reply to her salutation, +which the two ladies returned with a patronizing air, and +at the same time looking severely at the individual in the +blue coat and bamboo cane who accompanied Miss Polly. + +"Who's that?" asked the Major, amused by the group, +and after he had made way for the three to pass up the +lane. Mary looked at him rather roguishly. + +"That is our curate, the Reverend Mr. Binny (a twitch +from Major Dobbin), and his sister Miss B. Lord bless us, +how she did use to worret us at Sunday-school; and the +other lady, the little one with a cast in her eye and the +handsome watch, is Mrs. Binny--Miss Grits that was; +her pa was a grocer, and kept the Little Original Gold +Tea Pot in Kensington Gravel Pits. They were married last +month, and are just come back from Margate. She's five +thousand pound to her fortune; but her and Miss B., who +made the match, have quarrelled already." + +If the Major had twitched before, he started now, and +slapped the bamboo on the ground with an emphasis +which made Miss Clapp cry, "Law," and laugh too. He +stood for a moment, silent, with open mouth, looking +after the retreating young couple, while Miss Mary told +their history; but he did not hear beyond the announcement +of the reverend gentleman's marriage; his head was +swimming with felicity. After this rencontre he began to +walk double quick towards the place of his destination +--and yet they were too soon (for he was in a great +tremor at the idea of a meeting for which he had been +longing any time these ten years)--through the Brompton +lanes, and entering at the little old portal in Kensington +Garden wall. + +"There they are," said Miss Polly, and she felt him +again start back on her arm. She was a confidante at once +of the whole business. She knew the story as well as if +she had read it in one of her favourite novel-books-- +Fatherless Fanny, or the Scottish Chiefs. + +"Suppose you were to run on and tell her," the Major +said. Polly ran forward, her yellow shawl streaming in the +breeze. + +Old Sedley was seated on a bench, his handkerchief +placed over his knees, prattling away, according to his +wont, with some old story about old times to which +Amelia had listened and awarded a patient smile many +a time before. She could of late think of her own affairs, +and smile or make other marks of recognition of her +father's stories, scarcely hearing a word of the old man's +tales. As Mary came bouncing along, and Amelia caught +sight of her, she started up from her bench. Her first +thought was that something had happened to Georgy, +but the sight of the messenger's eager and happy face +dissipated that fear in the timorous mother's bosom. + +"News! News!" cried the emissary of Major Dobbin. +"He's come! He's come!" + +"Who is come?" said Emmy, still thinking of her son. + +"Look there," answered Miss Clapp, turning round and +pointing; in which direction Amelia looking, saw +Dobbin's lean figure and long shadow stalking across the +grass. Amelia started in her turn, blushed up, and, of +course, began to cry. At all this simple little creature's +fetes, the grandes eaux were accustomed to play. +He looked at her--oh, how fondly--as she came +running towards him, her hands before her, ready to give +them to him. She wasn't changed. She was a little pale, +a little stouter in figure. Her eyes were the same, the +kind trustful eyes. There were scarce three lines of silver +in her soft brown hair. She gave him both her hands as +she looked up flushing and smiling through her tears into +his honest homely face. He took the two little hands +between his two and held them there. He was speechless +for a moment. Why did he not take her in his arms and +swear that he would never leave her? She must have +yielded: she could not but have obeyed him. + +"I--I've another arrival to announce," he said after a +pause. + +"Mrs. Dobbin?" Amelia said, making a movement +back--why didn't he speak? + +"No," he said, letting her hands go: "Who has told +you those lies? I mean, your brother Jos came in the +same ship with me, and is come home to make you all +happy." + +"Papa, Papa!" Emmy cried out, "here are news! My +brother is in England. He is come to take care of you. +Here is Major Dobbin." + +Mr. Sedley started up, shaking a great deal and gathering +up his thoughts. Then he stepped forward and made an +old-fashioned bow to the Major, whom he called Mr. +Dobbin, and hoped his worthy father, Sir William, was +quite well. He proposed to call upon Sir William, who had +done him the honour of a visit a short time ago. Sir +William had not called upon the old gentleman for eight +years--it was that visit he was thinking of returning. + +"He is very much shaken," Emmy whispered as Dobbin +went up and cordially shook hands with the old man. + +Although he had such particular business in London +that evening, the Major consented to forego it upon Mr. +Sedley's invitation to him to come home and partake of +tea. Amelia put her arm under that of her young friend +with the yellow shawl and headed the party on their +return homewards, so that Mr. Sedley fell to Dobbin's share. +The old man walked very slowly and told a number of +ancient histories about himself and his poor Bessy, his +former prosperity, and his bankruptcy. His thoughts, as is +usual with failing old men, were quite in former times. +The present, with the exception of the one catastrophe +which he felt, he knew little about. The Major was glad to +let him talk on. His eyes were fixed upon the figure in +front of him--the dear little figure always present to his +imagination and in his prayers, and visiting his dreams +wakeful or slumbering. + +Amelia was very happy, smiling, and active all that +evening, performing her duties as hostess of the little +entertainment with the utmost grace and propriety, as +Dobbin thought. His eyes followed her about as they sat +in the twilight. How many a time had he longed for that +moment and thought of her far away under hot winds +and in weary marches, gentle and happy, kindly ministering +to the wants of old age, and decorating poverty with +sweet submission--as he saw her now. I do not say that +his taste was the highest, or that it is the duty of great +intellects to be content with a bread-and-butter paradise, +such as sufficed our simple old friend; but his desires +were of this sort, whether for good or bad, and, with +Amelia to help him, he was as ready to drink as many +cups of tea as Doctor Johnson. + +Amelia seeing this propensity, laughingly encouraged +it and looked exceedingly roguish as she administered to +him cup after cup. It is true she did not know that the +Major had had no dinner and that the cloth was laid for +him at the Slaughters', and a plate laid thereon to mark +that the table was retained, in that very box in which +the Major and George had sat many a time carousing, +when she was a child just come home from Miss +Pinkerton's school. + +The first thing Mrs. Osborne showed the Major was +Georgy's miniature, for which she ran upstairs on her +arrival at home. It was not half handsome enough of +course for the boy, but wasn't it noble of him to think of +bringing it to his mother? Whilst her papa was awake she +did not talk much about Georgy. To hear about Mr. +Osborne and Russell Square was not agreeable to the +old man, who very likely was unconscious that he had +been living for some months past mainly on the bounty +of his richer rival, and lost his temper if allusion was +made to the other. + +Dobbin told him all, and a little more perhaps than +all, that had happened on board the Ramchunder, and +exaggerated Jos's benevolent dispositions towards his +father and resolution to make him comfortable in his +old days. The truth is that during the voyage the Major +had impressed this duty most strongly upon his fellow- +passenger and extorted promises from him that he would +take charge of his sister and her child. He soothed Jos's +irritation with regard to the bills which the old gentleman +had drawn upon him, gave a laughing account of his +own sufferings on the same score and of the famous +consignment of wine with which the old man had favoured +him, and brought Mr. Jos, who was by no means an ill- +natured person when well-pleased and moderately +flattered, to a very good state of feeling regarding his +relatives in Europe. + +And in fine I am ashamed to say that the Major +stretched the truth so far as to tell old Mr. Sedley that it +was mainly a desire to see his parent which brought Jos +once more to Europe. + +At his accustomed hour Mr. Sedley began to doze in +his chair, and then it was Amelia's opportunity to +commence her conversation, which she did with great +eagerness--it related exclusively to Georgy. She did not talk +at all about her own sufferings at breaking from him, for +indeed, this worthy woman, though she was half-killed +by the separation from the child, yet thought it was very +wicked in her to repine at losing him; but everything +concerning him, his virtues, talents, and prospects, she +poured out. She described his angelic beauty; narrated +a hundred instances of his generosity and greatness of +mind whilst living with her; how a Royal Duchess had +stopped and admired him in Kensington Gardens; how +splendidly he was cared for now, and how he had a +groom and a pony; what quickness and cleverness he +had, and what a prodigiously well-read and delightful +person the Reverend Lawrence Veal was, George's +master. "He knows EVERYTHING," Amelia said. "He has the +most delightful parties. You who are so learned yourself, +and have read so much, and are so clever and +accomplished--don't shake your head and say no--HE +always used to say you were--you will be charmed with +Mr. Veal's parties. The last Tuesday in every month. He +says there is no place in the bar or the senate that +Georgy may not aspire to. Look here," and she went to +the piano-drawer and drew out a theme of Georgy's +composition. This great effort of genius, which is still +in the possession of George's mother, is as follows: + +On Selfishness--Of all the vices which degrade the +human character, Selfishness is the most odious and +contemptible. An undue love of Self leads to the most +monstrous crimes and occasions the greatest misfortunes both +in States and Families. As a selfish man will impoverish +his family and often bring them to ruin, so a selfish +king brings ruin on his people and often plunges them +into war. + +Example: The selfishness of Achilles, as remarked by +the poet Homer, occasioned a thousand woes to the +Greeks--muri Achaiois alge etheke--(Hom. Il. A. 2). +The selfishness of the late Napoleon Bonaparte +occasioned innumerable wars in Europe and caused him to +perish, himself, in a miserable island--that of Saint Helena in +the Atlantic Ocean. + +We see by these examples that we are not to consult +our own interest and ambition, but that we are to +consider the interests of others as well as our own. + +George S. Osborne +Athene House, 24 April, 1827 + +"Think of him writing such a hand, and quoting Greek +too, at his age," the delighted mother said. "Oh, William," +she added, holding out her hand to the Major, "what a +treasure Heaven has given me in that boy! He is the +comfort of my life--and he is the image of--of him that's +gone!" + +"Ought I to be angry with her for being faithful to +him?" William thought. "Ought I to be jealous of my +friend in the grave, or hurt that such a heart as Amelia's +can love only once and for ever? Oh, George, George, +how little you knew the prize you had, though." This +sentiment passed rapidly through William's mind as he +was holding Amelia's hand, whilst the handkerchief was +veiling her eyes. + +"Dear friend," she said, pressing the hand which held +hers, "how good, how kind you always have been to me! +See! Papa is stirring. You will go and see Georgy +tomorrow, won't you?" + +"Not to-morrow," said poor old Dobbin. "I have +business." He did not like to own that he had not as yet +been to his parents' and his dear sister Anne--a +remissness for which I am sure every well-regulated +person will blame the Major. And presently he took his +leave, leaving his address behind him for Jos, against the +latter's arrival. And so the first day was over, and he +had seen her. + +When he got back to the Slaughters', the roast fowl +was of course cold, in which condition he ate it for +supper. And knowing what early hours his family kept, and +that it would be needless to disturb their slumbers at so +late an hour, it is on record, that Major Dobbin treated +himself to half-price at the Haymarket Theatre that +evening, where let us hope he enjoyed himself. + + + +CHAPTER LIX + + +The Old Piano + +The Major's visit left old John Sedley in a great state of +agitation and excitement. His daughter could not induce +him to settle down to his customary occupations or +amusements that night. He passed the evening fumbling +amongst his boxes and desks, untying his papers with +trembling hands, and sorting and arranging them against +Jos's arrival. He had them in the greatest order--his +tapes and his files, his receipts, and his letters with +lawyers and correspondents; the documents relative to +the wine project (which failed from a most unaccountable +accident, after commencing with the most splendid +prospects), the coal project (which only a want of capital +prevented from becoming the most successful scheme +ever put before the public), the patent saw-mills and +sawdust consolidation project, &c., &c. All night, until a +very late hour, he passed in the preparation of these +documents, trembling about from one room to another, +with a quivering candle and shaky hands. Here's the wine +papers, here's the sawdust, here's the coals; here's my +letters to Calcutta and Madras, and replies from Major +Dobbin, C.B., and Mr. Joseph Sedley to the same. "He +shall find no irregularity about ME, Emmy," the old +gentleman said. + +Emmy smiled. "I don't think Jos will care about seeing +those papers, Papa," she said. + +"You don't know anything about business, my dear," +answered the sire, shaking his head with an important +air. And it must be confessed that on this point Emmy +was very ignorant, and that is a pity some people are so +knowing. All these twopenny documents arranged on a +side table, old Sedley covered them carefully over with +a clean bandanna handkerchief (one out of Major +Dobbin's lot) and enjoined the maid and landlady of the +house, in the most solemn way, not to disturb those +papers, which were arranged for the arrival of Mr. Joseph +Sedley the next morning, "Mr. Joseph Sedley of the +Honourable East India Company's Bengal Civil Service." + +Amelia found him up very early the next morning, +more eager, more hectic, and more shaky than ever. "I +didn't sleep much, Emmy, my dear," he said. "I was +thinking of my poor Bessy. I wish she was alive, to ride +in Jos's carriage once again. She kept her own and +became it very well." And his eyes filled with tears, which +trickled down his furrowed old face. Amelia wiped them +away, and smilingly kissed him, and tied the old man's +neckcloth in a smart bow, and put his brooch into his +best shirt frill, in which, in his Sunday suit of mourning, +he sat from six o'clock in the morning awaiting the +arrival of his son. + +However, when the postman made his appearance, the +little party were put out of suspense by the receipt of a +letter from Jos to his sister, who announced that he felt +a little fatigued after his voyage, and should not be able +to move on that day, but that he would leave Southampton +early the next morning and be with his father and +mother at evening. Amelia, as she read out the letter to +her father, paused over the latter word; her brother, it +was clear, did not know what had happened in the family. +Nor could he, for the fact is that, though the Major +rightly suspected that his travelling companion never +would be got into motion in so short a space as twenty- +four hours, and would find some excuse for delaying, yet +Dobbin had not written to Jos to inform him of the +calamity which had befallen the Sedley family, being +occupied in talking with Amelia until long after post-hour. + +There are some splendid tailors' shops in the High +Street of Southampton, in the fine plate-glass windows +of which hang gorgeous waistcoats of all sorts, of silk +and velvet, and gold and crimson, and pictures of the +last new fashions, in which those wonderful gentlemen +with quizzing glasses, and holding on to little boys with +the exceeding large eyes and curly hair, ogle ladies in +riding habits prancing by the Statue of Achilles at Apsley +House. Jos, although provided with some of the most +splendid vests that Calcutta could furnish, thought he +could not go to town until he was supplied with one or +two of these garments, and selected a crimson satin, +embroidered with gold butterflies, and a black and red +velvet tartan with white stripes and a rolling collar, with +which, and a rich blue satin stock and a gold pin, +consisting of a five-barred gate with a horseman in pink +enamel jumping over it, he thought he might make his +entry into London with some dignity. For Jos's former +shyness and blundering blushing timidity had given way +to a more candid and courageous self-assertion of his +worth. "I don't care about owning it," Waterloo Sedley +would say to his friends, "I am a dressy man"; and +though rather uneasy if the ladies looked at him at the +Government House balls, and though he blushed and +turned away alarmed under their glances, it was chiefly +from a dread lest they should make love to him that he +avoided them, being averse to marriage altogether. But +there was no such swell in Calcutta as Waterloo Sedley, +I have heard say, and he had the handsomest turn-out, +gave the best bachelor dinners, and had the finest plate +in the whole place. + +To make these waistcoats for a man of his size and +dignity took at least a day, part of which he employed in +hiring a servant to wait upon him and his native and in +instructing the agent who cleared his baggage, his boxes, +his books, which he never read, his chests of mangoes, +chutney, and curry-powders, his shawls for presents to +people whom he didn't know as yet, and the rest of his +Persicos apparatus. + +At length, he drove leisurely to London on the third +day and in the new waistcoat, the native, with chattering +teeth, shuddering in a shawl on the box by the side of the +new European servant; Jos puffing his pipe at intervals +within and looking so majestic that the little boys cried +Hooray, and many people thought he must be a +Governor-General. HE, I promise, did not decline the +obsequious invitation of the landlords to alight and refresh +himself in the neat country towns. Having partaken of a +copious breakfast, with fish, and rice, and hard eggs, at +Southampton, he had so far rallied at Winchester as to +think a glass of sherry necessary. At Alton he stepped +out of the carriage at his servant's request and imbibed +some of the ale for which the place is famous. At Farnham +he stopped to view the Bishop's Castle and to partake +of a light dinner of stewed eels, veal cutlets, and +French beans, with a bottle of claret. He was cold over +Bagshot Heath, where the native chattered more and +more, and Jos Sahib took some brandy-and-water; in +fact, when he drove into town he was as full of wine, +beer, meat, pickles, cherry-brandy, and tobacco as the +steward's cabin of a steam-packet. It was evening when +his carriage thundered up to the little door in Brompton, +whither the affectionate fellow drove first, and before +hieing to the apartments secured for him by Mr. Dobbin +at the Slaughters'. + +All the faces in the street were in the windows; the +little maidservant flew to the wicket-gate; the Mesdames +Clapp looked out from the casement of the ornamented +kitchen; Emmy, in a great flutter, was in the passage +among the hats and coats; and old Sedley in the parlour +inside, shaking all over. Jos descended from the post- +chaise and down the creaking swaying steps in awful +state, supported by the new valet from Southampton and +the shuddering native, whose brown face was now livid +with cold and of the colour of a turkey's gizzard. He +created an immense sensation in the passage presently, +where Mrs. and Miss Clapp, coming perhaps to listen +at the parlour door, found Loll Jewab shaking upon the +hall-bench under the coats, moaning in a strange piteous +way, and showing his yellow eyeballs and white teeth. + +For, you see, we have adroitly shut the door upon the +meeting between Jos and the old father and the poor little +gentle sister inside. The old man was very much affected; +so, of course, was his daughter; nor was Jos without +feeling. In that long absence of ten years, the most selfish +will think about home and early ties. Distance sanctifies +both. Long brooding over those lost pleasures exaggerates +their charm and sweetness. Jos was unaffectedly glad to +see and shake the hand of his father, between whom +and himself there had been a coolness--glad to see his +little sister, whom he remembered so pretty and smiling, +and pained at the alteration which time, grief, and +misfortune had made in the shattered old man. Emmy had +come out to the door in her black clothes and whispered +to him of her mother's death, and not to speak of it to +their father. There was no need of this caution, for the +elder Sedley himself began immediately to speak of the +event, and prattled about it, and wept over it plenteously. +It shocked the Indian not a little and made him think of +himself less than the poor fellow was accustomed to do. + +The result of the interview must have been very +satisfactory, for when Jos had reascended his post-chaise +and had driven away to his hotel, Emmy embraced her father +tenderly, appealing to him with an air of triumph, and +asking the old man whether she did not always say that +her brother had a good heart? + +Indeed, Joseph Sedley, affected by the humble position +in which he found his relations, and in the expansiveness +and overflowing of heart occasioned by the first meeting, +declared that they should never suffer want or +discomfort any more, that he was at home for some time +at any rate, during which his house and everything he +had should be theirs: and that Amelia would look very +pretty at the head of his table--until she would accept +one of her own. + +She shook her head sadly and had, as usual, recourse +to the waterworks. She knew what he meant. She and +her young confidante, Miss Mary, had talked over the +matter most fully, the very night of the Major's visit, +beyond which time the impetuous Polly could not refrain +from talking of the discovery which she had made, and +describing the start and tremor of joy by which Major +Dobbin betrayed himself when Mr. Binny passed with his +bride and the Major learned that he had no longer a +rival to fear. "Didn't you see how he shook all over +when you asked if he was married and he said, 'Who told +you those lies?' Oh, M'am," Polly said, "he never kept his +eyes off you, and I'm sure he's grown grey athinking of +you." + +But Amelia, looking up at her bed, over which hung +the portraits of her husband and son, told her young +protegee never, never, to speak on that subject again; +that Major Dobbin had been her husband's dearest friend +and her own and George's most kind and affectionate +guardian; that she loved him as a brother--but that a +woman who had been married to such an angel as that, +and she pointed to the wall, could never think of any +other union. Poor Polly sighed: she thought what she +should do if young Mr. Tomkins, at the surgery, who +always looked at her so at church, and who, by those +mere aggressive glances had put her timorous little heart +into such a flutter that she was ready to surrender at +once,--what she should do if he were to die? She knew +he was consumptive, his cheeks were so red and he was +so uncommon thin in the waist. + +Not that Emmy, being made aware of the honest +Major's passion, rebuffed him in any way, or felt +displeased with him. Such an attachment from so true and +loyal a gentleman could make no woman angry. +Desdemona was not angry with Cassio, though there is +very little doubt she saw the Lieutenant's partiality for +her (and I for my part believe that many more things +took place in that sad affair than the worthy Moorish +officer ever knew of); why, Miranda was even very kind +to Caliban, and we may be pretty sure for the same +reason. Not that she would encourage him in the least-- +the poor uncouth monster--of course not. No more +would Emmy by any means encourage her admirer, the +Major. She would give him that friendly regard, which +so much excellence and fidelity merited; she would treat +him with perfect cordiality and frankness until he made +his proposals, and THEN it would be time enough for her +to speak and to put an end to hopes which never could be +realized. + +She slept, therefore, very soundly that evening, after +the conversation with Miss Polly, and was more than +ordinarily happy, in spite of Jos's delaying. "I am glad +he is not going to marry that Miss O'Dowd," she thought. +"Colonel O'Dowd never could have a sister fit for such +an accomplished man as Major William." Who was there +amongst her little circle who would make him a good +wife? Not Miss Binny, she was too old and ill-tempered; +Miss Osborne? too old too. Little Polly was too young. +Mrs. Osborne could not find anybody to suit the Major +before she went to sleep. + +The same morning brought Major Dobbin a letter to the +Slaughters' Coffee-house from his friend at Southampton, +begging dear Dob to excuse Jos for being in a rage when +awakened the day before (he had a confounded headache, +and was just in his first sleep), and entreating Dob to +engage comfortable rooms at the Slaughters' for Mr. Sedley +and his servants. The Major had become necessary to +Jos during the voyage. He was attached to him, and hung +upon him. The other passengers were away to London. +Young Ricketts and little Chaffers went away on the +coach that day--Ricketts on the box, and taking the +reins from Botley; the Doctor was off to his family at +Portsea; Bragg gone to town to his co-partners; and the +first mate busy in the unloading of the Ramchunder. Mr. +Joe was very lonely at Southampton, and got the landlord +of the George to take a glass of wine with him that +day, at the very hour at which Major Dobbin was +seated at the table of his father, Sir William, where his +sister found out (for it was impossible for the Major to +tell fibs) that he had been to see Mrs. George Osborne. + +Jos was so comfortably situated in St. Martin's Lane, he +could enjoy his hookah there with such perfect ease, and +could swagger down to the theatres, when minded, so +agreeably, that, perhaps, he would have remained +altogether at the Slaughters' had not his friend, the Major, +been at his elbow. That gentleman would not let the +Bengalee rest until he had executed his promise of having +a home for Amelia and his father. Jos was a soft fellow +in anybody's hands, Dobbin most active in anybody's +concerns but his own; the civilian was, therefore, an easy +victim to the guileless arts of this good-natured diplomatist +and was ready to do, to purchase, hire, or relinquish +whatever his friend thought fit. Loll Jewab, of whom the +boys about St. Martin's Lane used to make cruel fun +whenever he showed his dusky countenance in the street, was +sent back to Calcutta in the Lady Kicklebury East +Indiaman, in which Sir William Dobbin had a share, having +previously taught Jos's European the art of preparing +curries, pilaus, and pipes. It was a matter of great delight +and occupation to Jos to superintend the building of a +smart chariot which he and the Major ordered in the +neighbouring Long Acre: and a pair of handsome horses +were jobbed, with which Jos drove about in state in the +park, or to call upon his Indian friends. Amelia was not +seldom by his side on these excursions, when also Major +Dobbin would be seen in the back seat of the carriage. +At other times old Sedley and his daughter took +advantage of it, and Miss Clapp, who frequently +accompanied her friend, had great pleasure in being recognized +as she sat in the carriage, dressed in the famous yellow +shawl, by the young gentleman at the surgery, whose face +might commonly be seen over the window-blinds as she +passed. + +Shortly after Jos's first appearance at Brompton, a +dismal scene, indeed, took place at that humble cottage at +which the Sedleys had passed the last ten years of their +life. Jos's carriage (the temporary one, not the chariot +under construction) arrived one day and carried off old +Sedley and his daughter--to return no more. The tears +that were shed by the landlady and the landlady's +daughter at that event were as genuine tears of sorrow as any +that have been outpoured in the course of this history. +In their long acquaintanceship and intimacy they could +not recall a harsh word that had been uttered by Amelia +She had been all sweetness and kindness, always +thankful, always gentle, even when Mrs. Clapp lost her own +temper and pressed for the rent. When the kind creature +was going away for good and all, the landlady reproached +herself bitterly for ever having used a rough expression to +her--how she wept, as they stuck up with wafers on the +window, a paper notifying that the little rooms so long +occupied were to let! They never would have such lodgers +again, that was quite clear. After-life proved the truth of +this melancholy prophecy, and Mrs. Clapp revenged +herself for the deterioration of mankind by levying the most +savage contributions upon the tea-caddies and legs of +mutton of her locataires. Most of them scolded and +grumbled; some of them did not pay; none of them stayed. +The landlady might well regret those old, old friends, who +had left her. + +As for Miss Mary, her sorrow at Amelia's departure +was such as I shall not attempt to depict. From childhood +upwards she had been with her daily and had attached +herself so passionately to that dear good lady that when +the grand barouche came to carry her off into splendour, +she fainted in the arms of her friend, who was indeed +scarcely less affected than the good-natured girl. Amelia +loved her like a daughter. During eleven years the girl had +been her constant friend and associate. The separation was +a very painful one indeed to her. But it was of course +arranged that Mary was to come and stay often at the +grand new house whither Mrs. Osborne was going, and +where Mary was sure she would never be so happy as +she had been in their humble cot, as Miss Clapp called it, +in the language of the novels which she loved. + +Let us hope she was wrong in her judgement. Poor +Emmy's days of happiness had been very few in that +humble cot. A gloomy Fate had oppressed her there. She +never liked to come back to the house after she had left +it, or to face the landlady who had tyrannized over her +when ill-humoured and unpaid, or when pleased had +treated her with a coarse familiarity scarcely less odious. +Her servility and fulsome compliments when Emmy was +in prosperity were not more to that lady's liking. She +cast about notes of admiration all over the new house, +extolling every article of furniture or ornament; she +fingered Mrs. Osborne's dresses and calculated their price. +Nothing could be too good for that sweet lady, she +vowed and protested. But in the vulgar sycophant who +now paid court to her, Emmy always remembered the +coarse tyrant who had made her miserable many a time, +to whom she had been forced to put up petitions for +time, when the rent was overdue; who cried out at her +extravagance if she bought delicacies for her ailing mother +or father; who had seen her humble and trampled upon +her. + +Nobody ever heard of these griefs, which had been +part of our poor little woman's lot in life. She kept them +secret from her father, whose improvidence was the cause +of much of her misery. She had to bear all the blame of +his misdoings, and indeed was so utterly gentle and +humble as to be made by nature for a victim. + +I hope she is not to suffer much more of that hard +usage. And, as in all griefs there is said to be some +consolation, I may mention that poor Mary, when left at her +friend's departure in a hysterical condition, was placed +under the medical treatment of the young fellow from +the surgery, under whose care she rallied after a short +period. Emmy, when she went away from Brompton, +endowed Mary with every article of furniture that the house +contained, only taking away her pictures (the two +pictures over the bed) and her piano--that little old piano +which had now passed into a plaintive jingling old age, +but which she loved for reasons of her own. She was a +child when first she played on it, and her parents gave it +her. It had been given to her again since, as the reader +may remember, when her father's house was gone to ruin +and the instrument was recovered out of the wreck. + +Major Dobbin was exceedingly pleased when, as he +was superintending the arrangements of Jos's new house +--which the Major insisted should be very handsome and +comfortable--the cart arrived from Brompton, bringing +the trunks and bandboxes of the emigrants from that +village, and with them the old piano. Amelia would have it +up in her sitting-room, a neat little apartment on the +second floor, adjoining her father's chamber, and where +the old gentleman sat commonly of evenings. + +When the men appeared then bearing this old music- +box, and Amelia gave orders that it should be placed +in the chamber aforesaid, Dobbin was quite elated. "I'm +glad you've kept it," he said in a very sentimental +manner. "I was afraid you didn't care about it." + +"I value it more than anything I have in the world," +said Amelia. + +"Do you, Amelia?" cried the Major. The fact was, +as he had bought it himself, though he never said +anything about it, it never entered into his head to suppose +that Emmy should think anybody else was the purchaser, +and as a matter of course he fancied that she knew the +gift came from him. "Do you, Amelia?" he said; and +the question, the great question of all, was trembling +on his lips, when Emmy replied-- + +"Can I do otherwise?--did not he give it me?" + +"I did not know," said poor old Dob, and his +countenance fell. + +Emmy did not note the circumstance at the time, nor +take immediate heed of the very dismal expression which +honest Dobbin's countenance assumed, but she thought +of it afterwards. And then it struck her, with inexpressible +pain and mortification too, that it was William who +was the giver of the piano, and not George, as she had +fancied. It was not George's gift; the only one which she +had received from her lover, as she thought--the thing +she had cherished beyond all others--her dearest relic +and prize. She had spoken to it about George; played +his favourite airs upon it; sat for long evening hours, +touching, to the best of her simple art, melancholy +harmonies on the keys, and weeping over them in silence. +It was not George's relic. It was valueless now. The next +time that old Sedley asked her to play, she said it was +shockingly out of tune, that she had a headache, that +she couldn't play. + +Then, according to her custom, she rebuked herself +for her pettishness and ingratitude and determined to +make a reparation to honest William for the slight she +had not expressed to him, but had felt for his piano. +A few days afterwards, as they were seated in the +drawing-room, where Jos had fallen asleep with great comfort +after dinner, Amelia said with rather a faltering voice +to Major Dobbin-- + +"I have to beg your pardon for something." + +"About what?" said he. + +"About--about that little square piano. I never thanked +you for it when you gave it me, many, many years ago, +before I was married. I thought somebody else had given +it. Thank you, William." She held out her hand, but the +poor little woman's heart was bleeding; and as for her +eyes, of course they were at their work. + +But William could hold no more. "Amelia, Amelia," +he said, "I did buy it for you. I loved you then as I +do now. I must tell you. I think I loved you from the +first minute that I saw you, when George brought me to +your house, to show me the Amelia whom he was +engaged to. You were but a girl, in white, with large +ringlets; you came down singing--do you remember?-- +and we went to Vauxhall. Since then I have thought of +but one woman in the world, and that was you. I +think there is no hour in the day has passed for twelve +years that I haven't thought of you. I came to tell you +this before I went to India, but you did not care, and +I hadn't the heart to speak. You did not care whether +I stayed or went." + +"I was very ungrateful," Amelia said. + +"No, only indifferent," Dobbin continued desperately. +"I have nothing to make a woman to be otherwise. I +know what you are feeling now. You are hurt in your +heart at the discovery about the piano, and that it came +from me and not from George. I forgot, or I should +never have spoken of it so. It is for me to ask your +pardon for being a fool for a moment, and thinking +that years of constancy and devotion might have pleaded +with you." + +"It is you who are cruel now," Amelia said with some +spirit. "George is my husband, here and in heaven. How +could I love any other but him? I am his now as when +you first saw me, dear William. It was he who told me +how good and generous you were, and who taught me +to love you as a brother. Have you not been everything +to me and my boy? Our dearest, truest, kindest friend +and protector? Had you come a few months sooner +perhaps you might have spared me that--that dreadful +parting. Oh, it nearly killed me, William--but you didn't +come, though I wished and prayed for you to come, +and they took him too away from me. Isn't he a noble +boy, William? Be his friend still and mine"--and here her +voice broke, and she hid her face on his shoulder. + +The Major folded his arms round her, holding her to +him as if she was a child, and kissed her head. "I will +not change, dear Amelia," he said. "I ask for no more +than your love. I think I would not have it otherwise. +Only let me stay near you and see you often." + +"Yes, often," Amelia said. And so William was at +liberty to look and long--as the poor boy at school +who has no money may sigh after the contents of the +tart-woman's tray. + + + + +CHAPTER LX + + +Returns to the Genteel World + +Good fortune now begins to smile upon Amelia. We are +glad to get her out of that low sphere in which she has +been creeping hitherto and introduce her into a polite +circle--not so grand and refined as that in which our +other female friend, Mrs. Becky, has appeared, but still +having no small pretensions to gentility and fashion. Jos's +friends were all from the three presidencies, and his new +house was in the comfortable Anglo-Indian district of +which Moira Place is the centre. Minto Square, Great +Clive Street, Warren Street, Hastings Street, Ochterlony +Place, Plassy Square, Assaye Terrace ("gardens" was +a felicitous word not applied to stucco houses with +asphalt terraces in front, so early as 1827)--who does not +know these respectable abodes of the retired Indian +aristocracy, and the quarter which Mr. Wenham calls the +Black Hole, in a word? Jos's position in life was not grand +enough to entitle him to a house in Moira Place, where +none can live but retired Members of Council, and +partners of Indian firms (who break, after having settled a +hundred thousand pounds on their wives, and retire into +comparative penury to a country place and four thousand +a year); he engaged a comfortable house of a +second- or third-rate order in Gillespie Street, purchasing the +carpets, costly mirrors, and handsome and appropriate +planned furniture by Seddons from the assignees of Mr. +Scape, lately admitted partner into the great Calcutta +House of Fogle, Fake, and Cracksman, in which poor +Scape had embarked seventy thousand pounds, the +earnings of a long and honourable life, taking Fake's place, +who retired to a princely park in Sussex (the Fogles have +been long out of the firm, and Sir Horace Fogle is about +to be raised to the peerage as Baron Bandanna)--admitted, +I say, partner into the great agency house of Fogle +and Fake two years before it failed for a million and +plunged half the Indian public into misery and ruin. + +Scape, ruined, honest, and broken-hearted at sixty-five +years of age, went out to Calcutta to wind up the affairs +of the house. Walter Scape was withdrawn from Eton +and put into a merchant's house. Florence Scape, Fanny +Scape, and their mother faded away to Boulogne, and +will be heard of no more. To be brief, Jos stepped in and +bought their carpets and sideboards and admired +himself in the mirrors which had reflected their kind +handsome faces. The Scape tradesmen, all honourably paid, +left their cards, and were eager to supply the new +household. The large men in white waistcoats who waited at +Scape's dinners, greengrocers, bank-porters, and +milkmen in their private capacity, left their addresses and +ingratiated themselves with the butler. Mr. Chummy, the +chimney-purifier, who had swept the last three families, +tried to coax the butler and the boy under him, whose +duty it was to go out covered with buttons and with +stripes down his trousers, for the protection of Mrs. +Amelia whenever she chose to walk abroad. + +It was a modest establishment. The butler was Jos's +valet also, and never was more drunk than a butler in a +small family should be who has a proper regard for his +master's wine. Emmy was supplied with a maid, grown on +Sir William Dobbin's suburban estate; a good girl, whose +kindness and humility disarmed Mrs. Osborne, who was +at first terrified at the idea of having a servant to wait +upon herself, who did not in the least know how to use +one, and who always spoke to domestics with the most +reverential politeness. But this maid was very useful in +the family, in dexterously tending old Mr. Sedley, who +kept almost entirely to his own quarter of the house +and never mixed in any of the gay doings which took +place there. + +Numbers of people came to see Mrs. Osborne. Lady +Dobbin and daughters were delighted at her change of +fortune, and waited upon her. Miss Osborne from Russell +Square came in her grand chariot with the flaming +hammer-cloth emblazoned with the Leeds arms. Jos was +reported to be immensely rich. Old Osborne had no +objection that Georgy should inherit his uncle's property as +well as his own. "Damn it, we will make a man of the +feller," he said; "and I'll see him in Parliament before I +die. You may go and see his mother, Miss O., though I'll +never set eyes on her": and Miss Osborne came. Emmy, +you may be sure, was very glad to see her, and so be +brought nearer to George. That young fellow was +allowed to come much more frequently than before to visit +his mother. He dined once or twice a week in Gillespie +Street and bullied the servants and his relations there, just +as he did in Russell Square. + +He was always respectful to Major Dobbin, however, +and more modest in his demeanour when that gentleman +was present. He was a clever lad and afraid of the +Major. George could not help admiring his friend's +simplicity, his good humour, his various learning quietly +imparted, his general love of truth and justice. He had met +no such man as yet in the course of his experience, and +he had an instinctive liking for a gentleman. He hung +fondly by his godfather's side, and it was his delight to +walk in the parks and hear Dobbin talk. William told +George about his father, about India and Waterloo, about +everything but himself. When George was more than +usually pert and conceited, the Major made jokes at him, +which Mrs. Osborne thought very cruel. One day, taking +him to the play, and the boy declining to go into the pit +because it was vulgar, the Major took him to the boxes, +left him there, and went down himself to the pit. He +had not been seated there very long before he felt an arm +thrust under his and a dandy little hand in a kid glove +squeezing his arm. George had seen the absurdity of his +ways and come down from the upper region. A tender +laugh of benevolence lighted up old Dobbin's face and +eyes as he looked at the repentant little prodigal. He +loved the boy, as he did everything that belonged to +Amelia. How charmed she was when she heard of this +instance of George's goodness! Her eyes looked more +kindly on Dobbin than they ever had done. She blushed, +he thought, after looking at him so. + +Georgy never tired of his praises of the Major to his +mother. "I like him, Mamma, because he knows such lots +of things; and he ain't like old Veal, who is always +bragging and using such long words, don't you know? The +chaps call him 'Longtail' at school. I gave him the name; +ain't it capital? But Dob reads Latin like English, and +French and that; and when we go out together he tells me +stories about my Papa, and never about himself; though I +heard Colonel Buckler, at Grandpapa's, say that he was +one of the bravest officers in the army, and had +distinguished himself ever so much. Grandpapa was quite +surprised, and said, 'THAT feller! Why, I didn't think he could +say Bo to a goose'--but l know he could, couldn't he, +Mamma?" + +Emmy laughed: she thought it was very likely the +Major could do thus much. + +If there was a sincere liking between George and the +Major, it must be confessed that between the boy and his +uncle no great love existed. George had got a way of +blowing out his cheeks, and putting his hands in his +waistcoat pockets, and saying, "God bless my soul, you don't +say so," so exactly after the fashion of old Jos that it was +impossible to refrain from laughter. The servants would +explode at dinner if the lad, asking for something which +wasn't at table, put on that countenance and used that +favourite phrase. Even Dobbin would shoot out a sudden +peal at the boy's mimicry. If George did not mimic his +uncle to his face, it was only by Dobbin's rebukes and +Amelia's terrified entreaties that the little scapegrace was +induced to desist. And the worthy civilian being haunted +by a dim consciousness that the lad thought him an ass, +and was inclined to turn him into ridicule, used to be +extremely timorous and, of course, doubly pompous and +dignified in the presence of Master Georgy. When it was +announced that the young gentleman was expected in +Gillespie Street to dine with his mother, Mr. Jos +commonly found that he had an engagement at the Club. +Perhaps nobody was much grieved at his absence. On +those days Mr. Sedley would commonly be induced to +come out from his place of refuge in the upper stories, +and there would be a small family party, whereof Major +Dobbin pretty generally formed one. He was the ami de +la maison--old Sedley's friend, Emmy's friend, Georgy's +friend, Jos's counsel and adviser. "He might almost as +well be at Madras for anything WE see of him," Miss +Ann Dobbin remarked at Camberwell. Ah! Miss Ann, did +it not strike you that it was not YOU whom the Major +wanted to marry? + +Joseph Sedley then led a life of dignified otiosity such +as became a person of his eminence. His very first point, +of course, was to become a member of the Oriental Club, +where he spent his mornings in the company of his +brother Indians, where he dined, or whence he brought +home men to dine. + +Amelia had to receive and entertain these gentlemen +and their ladies. From these she heard how soon Smith +would be in Council; how many lacs Jones had brought +home with him, how Thomson's House in London had +refused the bills drawn by Thomson, Kibobjee, and Co., +the Bombay House, and how it was thought the Calcutta +House must go too; how very imprudent, to say the +least of it, Mrs. Brown's conduct (wife of Brown of the +Ahmednuggur Irregulars) had been with young Swankey +of the Body Guard, sitting up with him on deck until all +hours, and losing themselves as they were riding out at +the Cape; how Mrs. Hardyman had had out her thirteen +sisters, daughters of a country curate, the Rev: Felix +Rabbits, and married eleven of them, seven high up in +the service; how Hornby was wild because his wife +would stay in Europe, and Trotter was appointed +Collector at Ummerapoora. This and similar talk took place +at the grand dinners all round. They had the same +conversation; the same silver dishes; the same saddles of +mutton, boiled turkeys, and entrees. Politics set in a +short time after dessert, when the ladies retired upstairs +and talked about their complaints and their children. + +Mutato nomine, it is all the same. Don't the barristers' +wives talk about Circuit? Don't the soldiers' ladies +gossip about the Regiment? Don't the clergymen's ladies +discourse about Sunday-schools and who takes whose duty? +Don't the very greatest ladies of all talk about that small +clique of persons to whom they belong? And why should +our Indian friends not have their own conversation?-- +only I admit it is slow for the laymen whose fate it +sometimes is to sit by and listen. + +Before long Emmy had a visiting-book, and was driving +about regularly in a carriage, calling upon Lady Bludyer +(wife of Major-General Sir Roger Bludyer, K.C.B., Bengal +Army); Lady Huff, wife of Sir G. Huff, Bombay ditto; +Mrs. Pice, the Lady of Pice the Director, &c. We are not +long in using ourselves to changes in life. That carriage +came round to Gillespie Street every day; that buttony +boy sprang up and down from the box with Emmy's and +Jos's visiting-cards; at stated hours Emmy and the +carriage went for Jos to the Club and took him an airing; +or, putting old Sedley into the vehicle, she drove the old +man round the Regent's Park. The lady's maid and the +chariot, the visiting-book and the buttony page, became +soon as familiar to Amelia as the humble routine of +Brompton. She accommodated herself to one as to the +other. If Fate had ordained that she should be a Duchess, +she would even have done that duty too. She was voted, in +Jos's female society, rather a pleasing young person-- +not much in her, but pleasing, and that sort of thing. + +The men, as usual, liked her artless kindness and +simple refined demeanour. The gallant young Indian dandies +at home on furlough--immense dandies these--chained +and moustached--driving in tearing cabs, the pillars of +the theatres, living at West End hotels--nevertheless +admired Mrs. Osborne, liked to bow to her carriage in the +park, and to be admitted to have the honour of paying +her a morning visit. Swankey of the Body Guard +himself, that dangerous youth, and the greatest buck of all +the Indian army now on leave, was one day discovered +by Major Dobbin tete-a-tete with Amelia, and +describing the sport of pig-sticking to her with great humour and +eloquence; and he spoke afterwards of a d--d king's +officer that's always hanging about the house--a long, +thin, queer-looking, oldish fellow--a dry fellow though, +that took the shine out of a man in the talking line. + +Had the Major possessed a little more personal vanity +he would have been jealous of so dangerous a young +buck as that fascinating Bengal Captain. But Dobbin was +of too simple and generous a nature to have any doubts +about Amelia. He was glad that the young men should +pay her respect, and that others should admire her. Ever +since her womanhood almost, had she not been +persecuted and undervalued? It pleased him to see how +kindness bought out her good qualities and how her spirits +gently rose with her prosperity. Any person who +appreciated her paid a compliment to the Major's good +judgement--that is, if a man may be said to have good +judgement who is under the influence of Love's delusion. + +After Jos went to Court, which we may be sure he +did as a loyal subject of his Sovereign (showing himself +in his full court suit at the Club, whither Dobbin came +to fetch him in a very shabby old uniform) he who had +always been a staunch Loyalist and admirer of George +IV, became such a tremendous Tory and pillar of the +State that he was for having Amelia to go to a +Drawing-room, too. He somehow had worked himself up +to believe that he was implicated in the maintenance of the +public welfare and that the Sovereign would not be happy +unless Jos Sedley and his family appeared to rally round +him at St. James's. + +Emmy laughed. "Shall I wear the family diamonds, +Jos?" she said. + +"I wish you would let me buy you some," thought the +Major. "I should like to see any that were too good for +you." + + + +CHAPTER LXI + + +In Which Two Lights are Put Out + +There came a day when the round of decorous pleasures +and solemn gaieties in which Mr. Jos Sedley's family +indulged was interrupted by an event which happens in +most houses. As you ascend the staircase of your house +from the drawing towards the bedroom floors, you may +have remarked a little arch in the wall right before you, +which at once gives light to the stair which leads from +the second story to the third (where the nursery and +servants' chambers commonly are) and serves for +another purpose of utility, of which the undertaker's men +can give you a notion. They rest the coffins upon that +arch, or pass them through it so as not to disturb in any +unseemly manner the cold tenant slumbering within the +black ark. + +That second-floor arch in a London house, looking up +and down the well of the staircase and commanding the +main thoroughfare by which the inhabitants are passing; +by which cook lurks down before daylight to scour her +pots and pans in the kitchen; by which young master +stealthily ascends, having left his boots in the hall, and +let himself in after dawn from a jolly night at the Club; +down which miss comes rustling in fresh ribbons and +spreading muslins, brilliant and beautiful, and prepared +for conquest and the ball; or Master Tommy slides, +preferring the banisters for a mode of conveyance, and +disdaining danger and the stair; down which the mother is +fondly carried smiling in her strong husband's arms, as +he steps steadily step by step, and followed by the monthly +nurse, on the day when the medical man has pronounced +that the charming patient may go downstairs; +up which John lurks to bed, yawning, with a sputtering +tallow candle, and to gather up before sunrise the boots +which are awaiting him in the passages--that stair, up or +down which babies are carried, old people are helped, +guests are marshalled to the ball, the parson walks to the +christening, the doctor to the sick-room, and the +undertaker's men to the upper floor--what a memento of Life, +Death, and Vanity it is--that arch and stair--if you +choose to consider it, and sit on the landing, looking up +and down the well! The doctor will come up to us too +for the last time there, my friend in motley. The nurse +will look in at the curtains, and you take no notice--and +then she will fling open the windows for a little and let in +the air. Then they will pull down all the front blinds of the +house and live in the back rooms--then they will send +for the lawyer and other men in black, &c. Your comedy +and mine will have been played then, and we shall be +removed, oh, how far, from the trumpets, and the shouting, +and the posture-making. If we are gentlefolks they +will put hatchments over our late domicile, with gilt +cherubim, and mottoes stating that there is "Quiet in +Heaven." Your son will new furnish the house, or +perhaps let it, and go into a more modern quarter; your +name will be among the "Members Deceased" in the +lists of your clubs next year. However much you may be +mourned, your widow will like to have her weeds neatly +made--the cook will send or come up to ask about +dinner--the survivor will soon bear to look at your picture +over the mantelpiece, which will presently be deposed +from the place of honour, to make way for the portrait of +the son who reigns. + +Which of the dead are most tenderly and passionately +deplored? Those who love the survivors the least, I +believe. The death of a child occasions a passion of grief +and frantic tears, such as your end, brother reader, will +never inspire. The death of an infant which scarce knew +you, which a week's absence from you would have caused +to forget you, will strike you down more than the loss of +your closest friend, or your first-born son--a man grown +like yourself, with children of his own. We may be harsh +and stern with Judah and Simeon--our love and pity gush +out for Benjamin, the little one. And if you are old, as +some reader of this may be or shall be old and rich, or +old and poor--you may one day be thinking for yourself +--"These people are very good round about me, but +they won't grieve too much when I am gone. I am very +rich, and they want my inheritance--or very poor, and +they are tired of supporting me." + +The period of mourning for Mrs. Sedley's death was +only just concluded, and Jos scarcely had had time to +cast off his black and appear in the splendid waistcoats +which he loved, when it became evident to those about +Mr. Sedley that another event was at hand, and that the +old man was about to go seek for his wife in the dark land +whither she had preceded him. "The state of my father's +health," Jos Sedley solemnly remarked at the Club, +"prevents me from giving any LARGE parties this season: but if +you will come in quietly at half-past six, Chutney, my +boy, and fake a homely dinner with one or two of the +old set--I shall be always glad to see you." So Jos and +his acquaintances dined and drank their claret among +themselves in silence, whilst the sands of life were +running out in the old man's glass upstairs. The velvet-footed +butler brought them their wine, and they composed +themselves to a rubber after dinner, at which Major Dobbin +would sometimes come and take a hand; and Mrs. +Osborne would occasionally descend, when her patient +above was settled for the night, and had commenced one +of those lightly troubled slumbers which visit the pillow +of old age. + +The old man clung to his daughter during this +sickness. He would take his broths and medicines from +scarcely any other hand. To tend him became almost the +sole business of her life. Her bed was placed close by the +door which opened into his chamber, and she was alive +at the slightest noise or disturbance from the couch of +the querulous invalid. Though, to do him justice, he lay +awake many an hour, silent and without stirring, +unwilling to awaken his kind and vigilant nurse. + +He loved his daughter with more fondness now, +perhaps, than ever he had done since the days of her +childhood. In the discharge of gentle offices and kind filial +duties, this simple creature shone most especially. "She +walks into the room as silently as a sunbeam," Mr. +Dobbin thought as he saw her passing in and out from her +father's room, a cheerful sweetness lighting up her face +as she moved to and fro, graceful and noiseless. When +women are brooding over their children, or busied in a +sick-room, who has not seen in their faces those sweet +angelic beams of love and pity? + +A secret feud of some years' standing was thus +healed, and with a tacit reconciliation. In these last +hours, and touched by her love and goodness, the old +man forgot all his grief against her, and wrongs which +he and his wife had many a long night debated: how she +had given up everything for her boy; how she was +careless of her parents in their old age and misfortune, and +only thought of the child; how absurdly and foolishly, +impiously indeed, she took on when George was +removed from her. Old Sedley forgot these charges as he +was making up his last account, and did justice to the +gentle and uncomplaining little martyr. One night when +she stole into his room, she found him awake, when the +broken old man made his confession. "Oh, Emmy, I've +been thinking we were very unkind and unjust to you," +he said and put out his cold and feeble hand to her. She +knelt down and prayed by his bedside, as he did too, +having still hold of her hand. When our turn comes, friend, +may we have such company in our prayers! + +Perhaps as he was lying awake then, his life may have +passed before him--his early hopeful struggles, his manly +successes and prosperity, his downfall in his declining +years, and his present helpless condition--no chance of +revenge against Fortune, which had had the better of +him--neither name nor money to bequeath--a spent-out, +bootless life of defeat and disappointment, and the +end here! Which, I wonder, brother reader, is the better +lot, to die prosperous and famous, or poor and +disappointed? To have, and to be forced to yield; or to +sink out of life, having played and lost the game? That +must be a strange feeling, when a day of our life comes +and we say, "To-morrow, success or failure won't +matter much, and the sun will rise, and all the myriads of +mankind go to their work or their pleasure as usual, but +I shall be out of the turmoil." + +So there came one morning and sunrise when all the +world got up and set about its various works and +pleasures, with the exception of old John Sedley, who was not +to fight with fortune, or to hope or scheme any more, +but to go and take up a quiet and utterly unknown +residence in a churchyard at Brompton by the side of +his old wife. + +Major Dobbin, Jos, and Georgy followed his remains +to the grave, in a black cloth coach. Jos came on +purpose from the Star and Garter at Richmond, whither he +retreated after the deplorable event. He did not care +to remain in the house, with the--under the circumstances, +you understand. But Emmy stayed and did her +duty as usual. She was bowed down by no especial grief, +and rather solemn than sorrowful. She prayed that her +own end might be as calm and painless, and thought +with trust and reverence of the words which she had +heard from her father during his illness, indicative of his +faith, his resignation, and his future hope. + +Yes, I think that will be the better ending of the two, +after all. Suppose you are particularly rich and well-to- +do and say on that last day, "I am very rich; I am +tolerably well known; I have lived all my life in the best +society, and thank Heaven, come of a most respectable +family. I have served my King and country with honour. +I was in Parliament for several years, where, I may say, +my speeches were listened to and pretty well received. +I don't owe any man a shilling: on the contrary, I lent +my old college friend, Jack Lazarus, fifty pounds, for which +my executors will not press him. I leave my daughters +with ten thousand pounds apiece--very good portions +for girls; I bequeath my plate and furniture, my house in +Baker Street, with a handsome jointure, to my widow for +her life; and my landed property, besides money in the +funds, and my cellar of well-selected wine in Baker Street, +to my son. I leave twenty pound a year to my valet; and +I defy any man after I have gone to find anything against +my character." Or suppose, on the other hand, your +swan sings quite a different sort of dirge and you say, +"I am a poor blighted, disappointed old fellow, and have +made an utter failure through life. I was not endowed +either with brains or with good fortune, and confess +that I have committed a hundred mistakes and blunders. +I own to having forgotten my duty many a time. I can't +pay what I owe. On my last bed I lie utterly helpless +and humble, and I pray forgiveness for my weakness and +throw myself, with a contrite heart, at the feet of the +Divine Mercy." Which of these two speeches, think +you, would be the best oration for your own funeral? +Old Sedley made the last; and in that humble frame of +mind, and holding by the hand of his daughter, life and +disappointment and vanity sank away from under him. + +"You see," said old Osborne to George, "what comes +of merit, and industry, and judicious speculations, and +that. Look at me and my banker's account. Look at your +poor Grandfather Sedley and his failure. And yet he was +a better man than I was, this day twenty years--a better +man, I should say, by ten thousand pound." + +Beyond these people and Mr. Clapp's family, who +came over from Brompton to pay a visit of condolence, +not a single soul alive ever cared a penny piece about +old John Sedley, or remembered the existence of such a +person. + +When old Osborne first heard from his friend Colonel +Buckler (as little Georgy had already informed us) how +distinguished an officer Major Dobbin was, he exhibited +a great deal of scornful incredulity and expressed his +surprise how ever such a feller as that should possess +either brains or reputation. But he heard of the Major's +fame from various members of his society. Sir William +Dobbin had a great opinion of his son and narrated +many stories illustrative of the Major's learning, valour, +and estimation in the world's opinion. Finally, his name +appeared in the lists of one or two great parties of the +nobility, and this circumstance had a prodigious effect +upon the old aristocrat of Russell Square. + +The Major's position, as guardian to Georgy, whose +possession had been ceded to his grandfather, rendered +some meetings between the two gentlemen inevitable; +and it was in one of these that old Osborne, a keen man +of business, looking into the Major's accounts with his +ward and the boy's mother, got a hint, which staggered +him very much, and at once pained and pleased him, +that it was out of William Dobbin's own pocket that a +part of the fund had been supplied upon which the +poor widow and the child had subsisted. + +When pressed upon the point, Dobbin, who could not +tell lies, blushed and stammered a good deal and finally +confessed. "The marriage," he said (at which his +interlocutor's face grew dark) "was very much my doing. I +thought my poor friend had gone so far that retreat from +his engagement would have been dishonour to him and +death to Mrs. Osborne, and I could do no less, when she +was left without resources, than give what money I could +spare to maintain her." + +"Major D.," Mr. Osborne said, looking hard at him and +turning very red too--"you did me a great injury; but +give me leave to tell you, sir, you are an honest feller. +There's my hand, sir, though I little thought that my +flesh and blood was living on you--" and the pair shook +hands, with great confusion on Major Dobbin's part, thus +found out in his act of charitable hypocrisy. + +He strove to soften the old man and reconcile him +towards his son's memory. "He was such a noble fellow," +he said, "that all of us loved him, and would have done +anything for him. I, as a young man in those days, was +flattered beyond measure by his preference for me, and +was more pleased to be seen in his company than in +that of the Commander-in-Chief. I never saw his equal +for pluck and daring and all the qualities of a soldier"; +and Dobbin told the old father as many stories as he +could remember regarding the gallantry and achievements +of his son. "And Georgy is so like him," the +Major added. + +"He's so like him that he makes me tremble sometimes," +the grandfather said. + +On one or two evenings the Major came to dine with +Mr. Osborne (it was during the time of the sickness of +Mr. Sedley), and as the two sat together in the evening +after dinner, all their talk was about the departed hero. +The father boasted about him according to his wont, +glorifying himself in recounting his son's feats and +gallantry, but his mood was at any rate better and more +charitable than that in which he had been disposed until +now to regard the poor fellow; and the Christian heart of +the kind Major was pleased at these symptoms of +returning peace and good-will. On the second evening old +Osborne called Dobbin William, just as he used to do at +the time when Dobbin and George were boys together, +and the honest gentleman was pleased by that mark of +reconciliation . + +On the next day at breakfast, when Miss Osborne, +with the asperity of her age and character, ventured to +make some remark reflecting slightingly upon the Major's +appearance or behaviour--the master of the house +interrupted her. "You'd have been glad enough to git him +for yourself, Miss O. But them grapes are sour. Ha! ha! +Major William is a fine feller." + +"That he is, Grandpapa," said Georgy approvingly; +and going up close to the old gentleman, he took a hold +of his large grey whiskers, and laughed in his face +good-humouredly, and kissed him. And he told the story at +night to his mother, who fully agreed with the boy. +"Indeed he is," she said. "Your dear father always said so. +He is one of the best and most upright of men." Dobbin +happened to drop in very soon after this conversation, +which made Amelia blush perhaps, and the young +scapegrace increased the confusion by telling Dobbin +the other part of the story. "I say, Dob," he said, "there's +such an uncommon nice girl wants to marry you. She's +plenty of tin; she wears a front; and she scolds the +servants from morning till night." "Who is it?" asked +Dobbin. + "It's Aunt O.," the boy answered. "Grandpapa said +so. And I say, Dob, how prime it would be to have you +for my uncle." Old Sedley's quavering voice from the +next room at this moment weakly called for Amelia, and +the laughing ended. + +That old Osborne's mind was changing was pretty clear. +He asked George about his uncle sometimes, and laughed +at the boy's imitation of the way in which Jos said +"God-bless-my-soul" and gobbled his soup. Then he said, +"It's not respectful, sir, of you younkers to be imitating of +your relations. Miss O., when you go out adriving +to-day, leave my card upon Mr. Sedley, do you hear? +There's no quarrel betwigst me and him anyhow." + +The card was returned, and Jos and the Major were +asked to dinner--to a dinner the most splendid and +stupid that perhaps ever Mr. Osborne gave; every inch +of the family plate was exhibited, and the best company +was asked. Mr. Sedley took down Miss O. to dinner, +and she was very gracious to him; whereas she +hardly spoke to the Major, who sat apart from her, and +by the side of Mr. Osborne, very timid. Jos said, with +great solemnity, it was the best turtle soup he had ever +tasted in his life, and asked Mr. Osborne where he got his +Madeira. + +"It is some of Sedley's wine," whispered the butler to +his master. "I've had it a long time, and paid a good +figure for it, too," Mr. Osborne said aloud to his guest, +and then whispered to his right-hand neighbour how +he had got it "at the old chap's sale." + +More than once he asked the Major about--about Mrs. +George Osborne--a theme on which the Major could be +very eloquent when he chose. He told Mr. Osborne of +her sufferings--of her passionate attachment to her +husband, whose memory she worshipped still--of the tender +and dutiful manner in which she had supported her +parents, and given up her boy, when it seemed to her her +duty to do so. "You don't know what she endured, sir," +said honest Dobbin with a tremor in his voice, "and I +hope and trust you will be reconciled to her. If she +took your son away from you, she gave hers to you; +and however much you loved your George, depend on it, +she loved hers ten times more." + +"By God, you are a good feller, sir," was all Mr. Os- +borne said. It had never struck him that the widow would +feel any pain at parting from the boy, or that his having +a fine fortune could grieve her. A reconciliation was +announced as speedy and inevitable, and Amelia's heart +already began to beat at the notion of the awful meeting +with George's father. + +It was never, however, destined to take place. Old +Sedley's lingering illness and death supervened, after +which a meeting was for some time impossible. That +catastrophe and other events may have worked upon Mr. +Osborne. He was much shaken of late, and aged, and his +mind was working inwardly. He had sent for his lawyers, +and probably changed something in his will. The medical +man who looked in pronounced him shaky, agitated, and +talked of a little blood and the seaside; but he took +neither of these remedies. + +One day when he should have come down to breakfast, +his servant missing him, went into his dressing-room +and found him lying at the foot of the dressing-table in a +fit. Miss Osborne was apprised; the doctors were sent +for; Georgy stopped away from school; the bleeders +and cuppers came. Osborne partially regained cognizance, +but never could speak again, though he tried +dreadfully once or twice, and in four days he died. The +doctors went down, and the undertaker's men went up +the stairs, and all the shutters were shut towards the +garden in Russell Square. Bullock rushed from the City +in a hurry. "How much money had he left to that boy? +Not half, surely? Surely share and share alike between +the three?" It was an agitating moment. + +What was it that poor old man tried once or twice +in vain to say? I hope it was that he wanted to see +Amelia and be reconciled before he left the world to one +dear and faithful wife of his son: it was most likely +that, for his will showed that the hatred which he had +so long cherished had gone out of his heart. + +They found in the pocket of his dressing-gown the +letter with the great red seal which George had written +him from Waterloo. He had looked at the other papers +too, relative to his son, for the key of the box in which +he kept them was also in his pocket, and it was found +the seals and envelopes had been broken--very likely on +the night before the seizure--when the butler had taken +him tea into his study, and found him reading in the +great red family Bible. + +When the will was opened, it was found that half the +property was left to George, and the remainder between +the two sisters. Mr. Bullock to continue, for their joint +benefit, the affairs of the commercial house, or to go out, +as he thought fit. An annuity of five hundred pounds, +chargeable on George's property, was left to his mother, +"the widow of my beloved son, George Osborne," who +was to resume the guardianship of the boy. + +"Major William Dobbin, my beloved son's friend," was +appointed executor; "and as out of his kindness and +bounty, and with his own private funds, he maintained +my grandson and my son's widow, when they were +otherwise without means of support" (the testator went on +to say) "I hereby thank him heartily for his love and +regard for them, and beseech him to accept such a sum +as may be sufficient to purchase his commission as a +Lieutenant-Colonel, or to be disposed of in any way he +may think fit." + +When Amelia heard that her father-in-law was +reconciled to her, her heart melted, and she was grateful +for the fortune left to her. But when she heard how +Georgy was restored to her, and knew how and by +whom, and how it was William's bounty that supported +her in poverty, how it was William who gave her her +husband and her son--oh, then she sank on her knees, +and prayed for blessings on that constant and kind heart; +she bowed down and humbled herself, and kissed the +feet, as it were, of that beautiful and generous affection. + +And gratitude was all that she had to pay back for +such admirable devotion and benefits--only gratitude! If +she thought of any other return, the image of George +stood up out of the grave and said, "You are mine, +and mine only, now and forever." + +William knew her feelings: had he not passed his +whole life in divining them? + +When the nature of Mr. Osborne's will became known +to the world, it was edifying to remark how Mrs. George +Osborne rose in the estimation of the people forming her +circle of acquaintance. The servants of Jos's establishment, +who used to question her humble orders and say +they would "ask Master" whether or not they could obey, +never thought now of that sort of appeal. The cook +forgot to sneer at her shabby old gowns (which, indeed, +were quite eclipsed by that lady's finery when she was +dressed to go to church of a Sunday evening), the others +no longer grumbled at the sound of her bell, or delayed +to answer that summons. The coachman, who grumbled +that his 'osses should be brought out and his +carriage made into an hospital for that old feller and +Mrs. O., drove her with the utmost alacrity now, and +trembling lest he should be superseded by Mr. Osborne's +coachman, asked "what them there Russell Square +coachmen knew about town, and whether they was fit to sit +on a box before a lady?" Jos's friends, male and female, +suddenly became interested about Emmy, and cards +of condolence multiplied on her hall table. Jos himself, +who had looked on her as a good-natured harmless +pauper, to whom it was his duty to give victuals and +shelter, paid her and the rich little boy, his nephew, the +greatest respect--was anxious that she should have +change and amusement after her troubles and trials, +"poor dear girl"--and began to appear at the breakfast- +table, and most particularly to ask how she would like +to dispose of the day. + +In her capacity of guardian to Georgy, she, with the +consent of the Major, her fellow-trustee, begged Miss +Osborne to live in the Russell Square house as long as +ever she chose to dwell there; but that lady, with thanks, +declared that she never could think of remaining alone +in that melancholy mansion, and departed in deep mourning +to Cheltenham, with a couple of her old domestics. +The rest were liberally paid and dismissed, the faithful +old butler, whom Mrs. Osborne proposed to retain, +resigning and preferring to invest his savings in a public- +house, where, let us hope, he was not unprosperous. +Miss Osborne not choosing to live in Russell Square, Mrs. +Osborne also, after consultation, declined to occupy the +gloomy old mansion there. The house was dismantled; +the rich furniture and effects, the awful chandeliers and +dreary blank mirrors packed away and hidden, the rich +rosewood drawing-room suite was muffled in straw, the +carpets were rolled up and corded, the small select +library of well-bound books was stowed into two wine- +chests, and the whole paraphernalia rolled away in +several enormous vans to the Pantechnicon, where they +were to lie until Georgy's majority. And the great heavy +dark plate-chests went off to Messrs. Stumpy and Rowdy, +to lie in the cellars of those eminent bankers until the +same period should arrive. + +One day Emmy, with George in her hand and clad in +deep sables, went to visit the deserted mansion which she +had not entered since she was a girl. The place in front +was littered with straw where the vans had been laden +and rolled off. They went into the great blank rooms, the +walls of which bore the marks where the pictures and +mirrors had hung. Then they went up the great blank +stone staircases into the upper rooms, into that where +grandpapa died, as George said in a whisper, and then +higher still into George's own room. The boy was still +clinging by her side, but she thought of another besides +him. She knew that it had been his father's room as well +as his own. + +She went up to one of the open windows (one of +those at which she used to gaze with a sick heart when +the child was first taken from her), and thence as she +looked out she could see, over the trees of Russell Square, +the old house in which she herself was born, and where +she had passed so many happy days of sacred youth. +They all came back to her, the pleasant holidays, +the kind faces, the careless, joyful past times, and the +long pains and trials that had since cast her down. +She thought of these and of the man who had been her +constant protector, her good genius, her sole benefactor, +her tender and generous friend. + +"Look here, Mother," said Georgy, "here's a G.O. +scratched on the glass with a diamond, I never saw it +before, I never did it." + +"It was your father's room long before you were born, +George," she said, and she blushed as she kissed the +boy. + +She was very silent as they drove back to Richmond, +where they had taken a temporary house: where the +smiling lawyers used to come bustling over to see her (and +we may be sure noted the visit in the bill): and where of +course there was a room for Major Dobbin too, who +rode over frequently, having much business to transact +on behalf of his little ward. + +Georgy at this time was removed from Mr. Veal's on +an unlimited holiday, and that gentleman was engaged +to prepare an inscription for a fine marble slab, to be +placed up in the Foundling under the monument of +Captain George Osborne. + +The female Bullock, aunt of Georgy, although +despoiled by that little monster of one-half of the sum +which she expected from her father, nevertheless showed +her charitableness of spirit by being reconciled to the +mother and the boy. Roehampton is not far from +Richmond, and one day the chariot, with the golden bullocks +emblazoned on the panels, and the flaccid children within, +drove to Amelia's house at Richmond; and the Bullock +family made an irruption into the garden, where Amelia +was reading a book, Jos was in an arbour placidly +dipping strawberries into wine, and the Major in one of +his Indian jackets was giving a back to Georgy, who +chose to jump over him. He went over his head and +bounded into the little advance of Bullocks, with +immense black bows in their hats, and huge black sashes, +accompanying their mourning mamma. + +"He is just of the age for Rosa," the fond parent +thought, and glanced towards that dear child, an +unwholesome little miss of seven years of age. + +"Rosa, go and kiss your dear cousin," Mrs. Frederick +said. "Don't you know me, George? I am your aunt." + +"I know you well enough," George said; "but I don't +like kissing, please"; and he retreated from the obedient +caresses of his cousin. + +"Take me to your dear mamma, you droll child," Mrs. +Frederick said, and those ladies accordingly met, after +an absence of more than fifteen years. During Emmy's +cares and poverty the other had never once thought +about coming to see her, but now that she was decently +prosperous in the world, her sister-in-law came to her as +a matter of course. + +So did numbers more. Our old friend, Miss Swartz, and +her husband came thundering over from Hampton Court, +with flaming yellow liveries, and was as impetuously fond +of Amelia as ever. Miss Swartz would have liked her +always if she could have seen her. One must do her that +justice. But, que voulez vous?--in this vast town one +has not the time to go and seek one's friends; if they +drop out of the rank they disappear, and we march on +without them. Who is ever missed in Vanity Fair? + +But so, in a word, and before the period of grief for +Mr. Osborne's death had subsided, Emmy found herself +in the centre of a very genteel circle indeed, the +members of which could not conceive that anybody +belonging to it was not very lucky. There was scarce one +of the ladies that hadn't a relation a Peer, though the +husband might be a drysalter in the City. Some of the +ladies were very blue and well informed, reading Mrs. +Somerville and frequenting the Royal Institution; others +were severe and Evangelical, and held by Exeter Hall. +Emmy, it must be owned, found herself entirely at a loss in +the midst of their clavers, and suffered woefully on the +one or two occasions on which she was compelled to +accept Mrs. Frederick Bullock's hospitalities. That lady +persisted in patronizing her and determined most graciously +to form her. She found Amelia's milliners for her and +regulated her household and her manners. She drove +over constantly from Roehampton and entertained her +friend with faint fashionable fiddle-faddle and feeble +Court slip-slop. Jos liked to hear it, but the Major used +to go off growling at the appearance of this woman, with +her twopenny gentility. He went to sleep under Frederick +Bullock's bald head, after dinner, at one of the banker's +best parties (Fred was still anxious that the balance of +the Osborne property should be transferred from Stumpy +and Rowdy's to them), and whilst Amelia, who did not +know Latin, or who wrote the last crack article in the +Edinburgh, and did not in the least deplore, or +otherwise, Mr. Peel's late extraordinary tergiversation on the +fatal Catholic Relief Bill, sat dumb amongst the ladies in +the grand drawing-room, looking out upon velvet lawns, +trim gravel walks, and glistening hot-houses. + +"She seems good-natured but insipid," said Mrs. +Rowdy; "that Major seems to be particularly epris." + +"She wants ton sadly," said Mrs. Hollyock. "My dear +creature, you never will be able to form her." + +"She is dreadfully ignorant or indifferent," said Mrs. +Glowry with a voice as if from the grave, and a sad +shake of the head and turban. "I asked her if she thought +that it was in 1836, according to Mr. Jowls, or in 1839, +according to Mr. Wapshot, that the Pope was to fall: +and she said--'Poor Pope! I hope not--What has he +done?' " + +"She is my brother's widow, my dear friends," Mrs. +Frederick replied, "and as such I think we're all bound to +give her every attention and instruction on entering into +the world. You may fancy there can be no MERCENARY +motives in those whose DISAPPOINTMENTS are well known." + +"That poor dear Mrs. Bullock," said Rowdy to Hollyock, +as they drove away together--"she is always scheming +and managing. She wants Mrs. Osborne's account +to be taken from our house to hers--and the way in +which she coaxes that boy and makes him sit by that +blear-eyed little Rosa is perfectly ridiculous." + +"I wish Glowry was choked with her Man of Sin and +her Battle of Armageddon," cried the other, and the +carriage rolled away over Putney Bridge. + +But this sort of society was too cruelly genteel for +Emmy, and all jumped for joy when a foreign tour was +proposed. + + + +CHAPTER LXII + + +Am Rhein + +The above everyday events had occurred, and a few +weeks had passed, when on one fine morning, Parliament +being over, the summer advanced, and all the good +company in London about to quit that city for their annual +tour in search of pleasure or health, the Batavier steamboat +left the Tower-stairs laden with a goodly company of English +fugitives. The quarter-deck awnings were up, and the +benches and gangways crowded with scores of rosy children, +bustling nursemaids; ladies in the prettiest pink +bonnets and summer dresses; gentlemen in travelling caps +and linen-jackets, whose mustachios had just begun to +sprout for the ensuing tour; and stout trim old veterans +with starched neckcloths and neat-brushed hats, such as +have invaded Europe any time since the conclusion of the +war, and carry the national Goddem into every city of +the Continent. The congregation of hat-boxes, and +Bramah desks, and dressing-cases was prodigious. There +were jaunty young Cambridge-men travelling with their +tutor, and going for a reading excursion to Nonnenwerth +or Konigswinter; there were Irish gentlemen, with the +most dashing whiskers and jewellery, talking about +horses incessantly, and prodigiously polite to the young +ladies on board, whom, on the contrary, the Cambridge +lads and their pale-faced tutor avoided with maiden +coyness; there were old Pall Mall loungers bound for Ems +and Wiesbaden and a course of waters to clear off the +dinners of the season, and a little roulette and trente- +et-quarante to keep the excitement going; there was old +Methuselah, who had married his young wife, with Captain +Papillon of the Guards holding her parasol and +guide-books; there was young May who was carrying off +his bride on a pleasure tour (Mrs. Winter that was, and +who had been at school with May's grandmother); there +was Sir John and my Lady with a dozen children, and +corresponding nursemaids; and the great grandee +Bareacres family that sat by themselves near the wheel, +stared at everybody, and spoke to no one. Their +carriages, emblazoned with coronets and heaped with +shining imperials, were on the foredeck, locked in with a +dozen more such vehicles: it was difficult to pass in and +out amongst them; and the poor inmates of the +fore-cabin had scarcely any space for locomotion. These +consisted of a few magnificently attired gentlemen from +Houndsditch, who brought their own provisions, and +could have bought half the gay people in the grand +saloon; a few honest fellows with mustachios and portfolios, +who set to sketching before they had been half an hour +on board; one or two French femmes de chambre who +began to be dreadfully ill by the time the boat had +passed Greenwich; a groom or two who lounged in the +neighbourhood of the horse-boxes under their charge, or +leaned over the side by the paddle-wheels, and talked +about who was good for the Leger, and what they stood +to win or lose for the Goodwood cup. + +All the couriers, when they had done plunging about +the ship and had settled their various masters in the +cabins or on the deck, congregated together and began to +chatter and smoke; the Hebrew gentlemen joining them +and looking at the carriages. There was Sir John's great +carriage that would hold thirteen people; my Lord +Methuselah's carriage, my Lord Bareacres' chariot, +britzska, and fourgon, that anybody might pay for who liked. +It was a wonder how my Lord got the ready money to +pay for the expenses of the journey. The Hebrew gentlemen +knew how he got it. They knew what money his +Lordship had in his pocket at that instant, and what +interest he paid for it, and who gave it him. Finally there +was a very neat, handsome travelling carriage, about +which the gentlemen speculated. + +"A qui cette voiture la?" said one gentleman-courier +with a large morocco money-bag and ear-rings to another +with ear-rings and a large morocco money-bag. + +"C'est a Kirsch je bense--je l'ai vu toute a l'heure-- +qui brenoit des sangviches dans la voiture," said the +courier in a fine German French. + +Kirsch emerging presently from the neighbourhood of +the hold, where he had been bellowing instructions +intermingled with polyglot oaths to the ship's men engaged +in secreting the passengers' luggage, came to give an +account of himself to his brother interpreters. He +informed them that the carriage belonged to a Nabob from +Calcutta and Jamaica enormously rich, and with whom +he was engaged to travel; and at this moment a young +gentleman who had been warned off the bridge between +the paddle-boxes, and who had dropped thence on to the +roof of Lord Methuselah's carriage, from which he made +his way over other carriages and imperials until he had +clambered on to his own, descended thence and through +the window into the body of the carriage, to the applause +of the couriers looking on. + +"Nous allons avoir une belle traversee, Monsieur +George," said the courier with a grin, as he lifted his +gold-laced cap. + +"D-- your French," said the young gentleman, "where's +the biscuits, ay?" Whereupon Kirsch answered him in the +English language or in such an imitation of it as he could +command--for though he was familiar with all languages, +Mr. Kirsch was not acquainted with a single one, and +spoke all with indifferent volubility and incorrectness. + +The imperious young gentleman who gobbled the +biscuits (and indeed it was time to refresh himself, for he +had breakfasted at Richmond full three hours before) +was our young friend George Osborne. Uncle Jos and his +mamma were on the quarter-deck with a gentleman of +whom they used to see a good deal, and the four were +about to make a summer tour. + +Jos was seated at that moment on deck under the +awning, and pretty nearly opposite to the Earl of +Bareacres and his family, whose proceedings absorbed +the Bengalee almost entirely. Both the noble couple +looked rather younger than in the eventful year '15, when +Jos remembered to have seen them at Brussels (indeed, +he always gave out in India that he was intimately +acquainted with them). Lady Bareacres' hair, which was +then dark, was now a beautiful golden auburn, whereas +Lord Bareacres' whiskers, formerly red, were at present +of a rich black with purple and green reflections in the +light. But changed as they were, the movements of the +noble pair occupied Jos's mind entirely. The presence of +a Lord fascinated him, and he could look at nothing else. + +"Those people seem to interest you a good deal," said +Dobbin, laughing and watching him. Amelia too laughed. +She was in a straw bonnet with black ribbons, and +otherwise dressed in mourning, but the little bustle and +holiday of the journey pleased and excited her, and she +looked particularly happy. + +"What a heavenly day!" Emmy said and added, with +great originality, "I hope we shall have a calm passage." + +Jos waved his hand, scornfully glancing at the same +time under his eyelids at the great folks opposite. "If you +had made the voyages we have," he said, "you wouldn't +much care about the weather." But nevertheless, traveller +as he was, he passed the night direfully sick in his +carriage, where his courier tended him with brandy-and- +water and every luxury. + +In due time this happy party landed at the quays of +Rotterdam, whence they were transported by another +steamer to the city of Cologne. Here the carriage and +the family took to the shore, and Jos was not a little +gratified to see his arrival announced in the Cologne +newspapers as "Herr Graf Lord von Sedley nebst +Begleitung aus London." He had his court dress with him; +he had insisted that Dobbin should bring his regimental +paraphernalia; he announced that it was his intention to +be presented at some foreign courts, and pay his respects +to the Sovereigns of the countries which he honoured +with a visit. + +Wherever the party stopped, and an opportunity was +offered, Mr. Jos left his own card and the Major's upon +"Our Minister." It was with great difficulty that he could +be restrained from putting on his cocked hat and tights +to wait upon the English consul at the Free City of +Judenstadt, when that hospitable functionary asked our +travellers to dinner. He kept a journal of his voyage and +noted elaborately the defects or excellences of the various +inns at which he put up, and of the wines and dishes of +which he partook. + +As for Emmy, she was very happy and pleased. Dobbin +used to carry about for her her stool and sketch-book, +and admired the drawings of the good-natured little artist +as they never had been admired before. She sat upon +steamers' decks and drew crags and castles, or she +mounted upon donkeys and ascended to ancient robber- +towers, attended by her two aides-de-camp, Georgy and +Dobbin. She laughed, and the Major did too, at his droll +figure on donkey-back, with his long legs touching the +ground. He was the interpreter for the party; having a +good military knowledge of the German language, and +he and the delighted George fought the campaigns of the +Rhine and the Palatinate. In the course of a few weeks, +and by assiduously conversing with Herr Kirsch on the +box of the carriage, Georgy made prodigious advance in +the knowledge of High Dutch, and could talk to hotel +waiters and postilions in a way that charmed his mother +and amused his guardian. + +Mr. Jos did not much engage in the afternoon +excursions of his fellow-travellers. He slept a good deal +after dinner, or basked in the arbours of the pleasant +inn-gardens. Pleasant Rhine gardens! Fair scenes of peace +and sunshine--noble purple mountains, whose crests are +reflected in the magnificent stream--who has ever seen +you that has not a grateful memory of those scenes of +friendly repose and beauty? To lay down the pen and +even to think of that beautiful Rhineland makes one +happy. At this time of summer evening, the cows are +trooping down from the hills, lowing and with their bells +tinkling, to the old town, with its old moats, and gates, +and spires, and chestnut-trees, with long blue shadows +stretching over the grass; the sky and the river below +flame in-crimson and gold; and the moon is already out, +looking pale towards the sunset. The sun sinks behind +the great castle-crested mountains, the night falls suddenly, +the river grows darker and darker, lights quiver in it +from the windows in the old ramparts, and twinkle +peacefully in the villages under the hills on the opposite shore. + +So Jos used to go to sleep a good deal with his bandanna +over his face and be very comfortable, and read all +the English news, and every word of Galignani's admirable newspaper (may the blessings of all Englishmen who +have ever been abroad rest on the founders and proprietors +of that piratical print! ) and whether he woke or +slept, his friends did not very much miss him. Yes, they +were very happy. They went to the opera often of +evenings--to those snug, unassuming, dear old operas in the +German towns, where the noblesse sits and cries, and +knits stockings on the one side, over against the bourgeoisie +on the other; and His Transparency the Duke and his +Transparent family, all very fat and good-natured, come +and occupy the great box in the middle; and the pit is +full of the most elegant slim-waisted officers with straw- +coloured mustachios, and twopence a day on full pay. +Here it was that Emmy found her delight, and was +introduced for the first time to the wonders of Mozart and +Cimarosa. The Major's musical taste has been before +alluded to, and his performances on the flute commended. +But perhaps the chief pleasure he had in these operas +was in watching Emmy's rapture while listening to them. +A new world of love and beauty broke upon her when +she was introduced to those divine compositions; this +lady had the keenest and finest sensibility, and how could +she be indifferent when she heard Mozart? The tender +parts of "Don Juan" awakened in her raptures so +exquisite that she would ask herself when she went to say +her prayers of a night whether it was not wicked to feel +so much delight as that with which "Vedrai Carino" and +"Batti Batti" filled her gentle little bosom? But the Major, +whom she consulted upon this head, as her theological +adviser (and who himself had a pious and reverent soul), +said that for his part, every beauty of art or nature made +him thankful as well as happy, and that the pleasure to +be had in listening to fine music, as in looking at the stars +in the sky, or at a beautiful landscape or picture, was a +benefit for which we might thank Heaven as sincerely as +for any other worldly blessing. And in reply to some faint +objections of Mrs. Amelia's (taken from certain theological +works like the Washerwoman of Finchley Common +and others of that school, with which Mrs. Osborne had +been furnished during her life at Brompton) he told her +an Eastern fable of the Owl who thought that the +sunshine was unbearable for the eyes and that the +Nightingale was a most overrated bird. "It is one's nature to +sing and the other's to hoot," he said, laughing, "and +with such a sweet voice as you have yourself, you must +belong to the Bulbul faction." + +I like to dwell upon this period of her life and to think +that she was cheerful and happy. You see, she has not +had too much of that sort of existence as yet, and has not +fallen in the way of means to educate her tastes or her +intelligence. She has been domineered over hitherto by +vulgar intellects. It is the lot of many a woman. And as +every one of the dear sex is the rival of the rest of her +kind, timidity passes for folly in their charitable +judgments; and gentleness for dulness; and silence--which is +but timid denial of the unwelcome assertion of ruling +folks, and tacit protestantism--above all, finds no mercy +at the hands of the female Inquisition. Thus, my dear and +civilized reader, if you and I were to find ourselves this +evening in a society of greengrocers, let us say, it is +probable that our conversation would not be brilliant; if, on +the other hand, a greengrocer should find himself at your +refined and polite tea-table, where everybody was saying +witty things, and everybody of fashion and repute tearing +her friends to pieces in the most delightful manner, it is +possible that the stranger would not be very talkative and +by no means interesting or interested. + +And it must be remembered that this poor lady had +never met a gentleman in her life until this present +moment. Perhaps these are rarer personages than some of +us think for. Which of us can point out many such in his +circle--men whose aims are generous, whose truth is +constant, and not only constant in its kind but elevated +in its degree; whose want of meanness makes them +simple; who can look the world honestly in the face with +an equal manly sympathy for the great and the small? +We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, +and a score who have excellent manners, and one or two +happy beings who are what they call in the inner circles, +and have shot into the very centre and bull's-eye of the +fashion; but of gentlemen how many? Let us take a little +scrap of paper and each make out his list. + +My friend the Major I write, without any doubt, in +mine. He had very long legs, a yellow face, and a slight +lisp, which at first was rather ridiculous. But his thoughts +were just, his brains were fairly good, his life was honest +and pure, and his heart warm and humble. He certainly +had very large hands and feet, which the two George +Osbornes used to caricature and laugh at; and their jeers +and laughter perhaps led poor little Emmy astray as to +his worth. But have we not all been misled about our +heroes and changed our opinions a hundred times? Emmy, +in this happy time, found that hers underwent a very great +change in respect of the merits of the Major. + +Perhaps it was the happiest time of both their lives, +indeed, if they did but know it--and who does? Which +of us can point out and say that was the culmination-- +that was the summit of human joy? But at all events, +this couple were very decently contented, and enjoyed +as pleasant a summer tour as any pair that left England +that year. Georgy was always present at the play, but +it was the Major who put Emmy's shawl on after the +entertainment; and in the walks and excursions the young +lad would be on ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, +whilst the soberer couple were below, the Major smoking +his cigar with great placidity and constancy, whilst Emmy +sketched the site or the ruin. It was on this very tour that +I, the present writer of a history of which every word is +true, had the pleasure to see them first and to make their +acquaintance. + +It was at the little comfortable Ducal town of +Pumpernickel (that very place where Sir Pitt Crawley +had been so distinguished as an attache; but that was in +early early days, and before the news of the Battle of +Austerlitz sent all the English diplomatists in Germany to +the right about) that I first saw Colonel Dobbin and +his party. They had arrived with the carriage and courier +at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best of the town, and the whole +party dined at the table d'hote. Everybody remarked +the majesty of Jos and the knowing way in which he +sipped, or rather sucked, the Johannisberger, which he +ordered for dinner. The little boy, too, we observed, had +a famous appetite, and consumed schinken, and braten, +and kartoffeln, and cranberry jam, and salad, and +pudding, and roast fowls, and sweetmeats, with a gallantry +that did honour to his nation. After about fifteen dishes, +he concluded the repast with dessert, some of which he +even carried out of doors, for some young gentlemen at +table, amused with his coolness and gallant free-and-easy +manner, induced him to pocket a handful of macaroons, +which he discussed on his way to the theatre, whither +everybody went in the cheery social little German place. +The lady in black, the boy's mamma, laughed and blushed, +and looked exceedingly pleased and shy as the dinner +went on, and at the various feats and instances of +espieglerie on the part of her son. The Colonel-- +for so he became very soon afterwards--I remember +joked the boy with a great deal of grave fun, pointing +out dishes which he hadn't tried, and entreating him not +to baulk his appetite, but to have a second supply of +this or that. + +It was what they call a gast-rolle night at the Royal +Grand Ducal Pumpernickelisch Hof--or Court theatre-- +and Madame Schroeder Devrient, then in the bloom of +her beauty and genius, performed the part of the heroine +in the wonderful opera of Fidelio. From our places in the +stalls we could see our four friends of the table d'hote +in the loge which Schwendler of the Erbprinz kept for his +best guests, and I could not help remarking the effect +which the magnificent actress and music produced upon +Mrs. Osborne, for so we heard the stout gentleman in +the mustachios call her. During the astonishing Chorus +of the Prisoners, over which the delightful voice of the +actress rose and soared in the most ravishing harmony, +the English lady's face wore such an expression of wonder +and delight that it struck even little Fipps, the blase +attache, who drawled out, as he fixed his glass upon her, +"Gayd, it really does one good to see a woman caypable +of that stayt of excaytement." And in the Prison Scene, +where Fidelio, rushing to her husband, cries, "Nichts, +nichts, mein Florestan," she fairly lost herself and +covered her face with her handkerchief. Every woman in the +house was snivelling at the time, but I suppose it was +because it was predestined that I was to write this +particular lady's memoirs that I remarked her. + +The next day they gave another piece of Beethoven, +Die Schlacht bei Vittoria. Malbrook is introduced at the +beginning of the performance, as indicative of the brisk +advance of the French army. Then come drums, trumpets, +thunders of artillery, and groans of the dying, and at last, +in a grand triumphal swell, "God Save the King" is +performed. + +There may have been a score of Englishmen in the +house, but at the burst of that beloved and well-known +music, every one of them, we young fellows in the stalls, +Sir John and Lady Bullminster (who had taken a house +at Pumpernickel for the education of their nine +children), the fat gentleman with the mustachios, the long +Major in white duck trousers, and the lady with the little +boy upon whom he was so sweet, even Kirsch, the courier +in the gallery, stood bolt upright in their places and +proclaimed themselves to be members of the dear old British +nation. As for Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, he rose +up in his box and bowed and simpered, as if he would +represent the whole empire. Tapeworm was nephew and +heir of old Marshal Tiptoff, who has been introduced in +this story as General Tiptoff, just before Waterloo, who +was Colonel of the --th regiment in which Major Dobbin +served, and who died in this year full of honours, and of +an aspic of plovers' eggs; when the regiment was graciously +given by his Majesty to Colonel Sir Michael O'Dowd, +K.C.B. who had commanded it in many glorious fields. + +Tapeworm must have met with Colonel Dobbin at the +house of the Colonel's Colonel, the Marshal, for he +recognized him on this night at the theatre, and with the +utmost condescension, his Majesty's minister came over +from his own box and publicly shook hands with his +new-found friend. + +"Look at that infernal sly-boots of a Tapeworm," +Fipps whispered, examining his chief from the stalls. +"Wherever there's a pretty woman he always twists +himself in." And I wonder what were diplomatists made for +but for that? + +"Have I the honour of addressing myself to Mrs. +Dobbin?" asked the Secretary with a most insinuating grin. + +Georgy burst out laughing and said, "By Jove, that was +a good 'un." Emmy and the Major blushed: we saw them +from the stalls. + +"This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said the Major, +"and this is her brother, Mr. Sedley, a distinguished +officer of the Bengal Civil Service: permit me to introduce +him to your lordship." + +My lord nearly sent Jos off his legs with the most +fascinating smile. "Are you going to stop in Pumpernickel?" +he said. "It is a dull place, but we want some nice people, +and we would try and make it SO agreeable to you. Mr.-- +Ahum--Mrs.--Oho. I shall do myself the honour of calling +upon you to-morrow at your inn." And he went away +with a Parthian grin and glance which he thought must +finish Mrs. Osborne completely. + +The performance over, the young fellows lounged about +the lobbies, and we saw the society take its departure. +The Duchess Dowager went off in her jingling old coach, +attended by two faithful and withered old maids of +honour, and a little snuffy spindle-shanked gentleman in +waiting, in a brown jasey and a green coat covered with +orders--of which the star and the grand yellow cordon of +the order of St. Michael of Pumpernickel were most +conspicuous. The drums rolled, the guards saluted, and the +old carriage drove away. + +Then came his Transparency the Duke and Transparent +family, with his great officers of state and household. He +bowed serenely to everybody. And amid the saluting of +the guards and the flaring of the torches of the running +footmen, clad in scarlet, the Transparent carriages drove +away to the old Ducal schloss, with its towers and +pinacles standing on the schlossberg. Everybody in +Pumpernickel knew everybody. No sooner was a foreigner seen +there than the Minister of Foreign Affairs, or some other +great or small officer of state, went round to the Erbprinz +and found out the name of the new arrival. + +We watched them, too, out of the theatre. Tapeworm +had just walked off, enveloped in his cloak, with which +his gigantic chasseur was always in attendance, and +looking as much as possible like Don Juan. The Prime +Minister's lady had just squeezed herself into her sedan, +and her daughter, the charming Ida, had put on her +calash and clogs; when the English party came out, the +boy yawning drearily, the Major taking great pains in +keeping the shawl over Mrs. Osborne's head, and Mr. +Sedley looking grand, with a crush opera-hat on one side +of his head and his hand in the stomach of a voluminous +white waistcoat. We took off our hats to our acquaintances +of the table d'hote, and the lady, in return, presented us +with a little smile and a curtsey, for which +everybody might be thankful. + +The carriage from the inn, under the superintendence +of the bustling Mr. Kirsch, was in waiting to convey the +party; but the fat man said he would walk and smoke his +cigar on his way homewards, so the other three, with +nods and smiles to us, went without Mr. Sedley, Kirsch, +with the cigar case, following in his master's wake. + +We all walked together and talked to the stout gentleman +about the agremens of the place. It was very agreeable +for the English. There were shooting-parties and +battues; there was a plenty of balls and entertainments at +the hospitable Court; the society was generally good; the +theatre excellent; and the living cheap. + +"And our Minister seems a most delightful and affable +person," our new friend said. '~With such a representative, +and--and a good medical man, I can fancy the place to +be most eligible. Good-night, gentlemen." And Jos +creaked up the stairs to bedward, followed by Kirsch with +a flambeau. We rather hoped that nice-looking woman +would be induced to stay some time in the town. + + + + +CHAPTER LXIII + + +In Which We Meet an Old Acquaintance + +Such polite behaviour as that of Lord Tapeworm did +not fail to have the most favourable effect upon Mr. +Sedley's mind, and the very next morning, at breakfast, he +pronounced his opinion that Pumpernickel was the +pleasantest little place of any which he had visited on their +tour. Jos's motives and artifices were not very difficult +of comprehension, and Dobbin laughed in his sleeve, like +a hypocrite as he was, when he found, by the knowing air +of the civilian and the offhand manner in which the +latter talked about Tapeworm Castle and the other members +of the family, that Jos had been up already in the morning, +consulting his travelling Peerage. Yes, he had seen +the Right Honourable the Earl of Bagwig, his lordship's +father; he was sure he had, he had met him at--at the +Levee--didn't Dob remember? and when the Diplomatist +called on the party, faithful to his promise, Jos received +him with such a salute and honours as were seldom +accorded to the little Envoy. He winked at Kirsch on his +Excellency's arrival, and that emissary, instructed before- +hand, went out and superintended an entertainment of +cold meats, jellies, and other delicacies, brought in upon +trays, and of which Mr. Jos absolutely insisted that his +noble guest should partake. + +Tapeworm, so long as he could have an opportunity of +admiring the bright eyes of Mrs. Osborne (whose freshness +of complexion bore daylight remarkably well) was +not ill pleased to accept any invitation to stay in Mr. +Sedley's lodgings; he put one or two dexterous questions +to him about India and the dancing-girls there; asked +Amelia about that beautiful boy who had been with her; +and complimented the astonished little woman upon the +prodigious sensation which she had made in the house; +and tried to fascinate Dobbin by talking of the late war +and the exploits of the Pumpernickel contingent under the +command of the Hereditary Prince, now Duke of +Pumpernickel. + +Lord Tapeworm inherited no little portion of the family +gallantry, and it was his happy belief that almost every +woman upon whom he himself cast friendly eyes was in +love with him. He left Emmy under the persuasion that +she was slain by his wit and attractions and went home to +his lodgings to write a pretty little note to her. She was +not fascinated, only puzzled, by his grinning, his simpering, +his scented cambric handkerchief, and his high-heeled +lacquered boots. She did not understand one-half the +compliments which he paid; she had never, in her small +experience of mankind, met a professional ladies' man as +yet, and looked upon my lord as something curious rather +than pleasant; and if she did not admire, certainly +wondered at him. Jos, on the contrary, was delighted. "How +very affable his Lordship is," he said; "How very kind of +his Lordship to say he would send his medical man! +Kirsch, you will carry our cards to the Count de +Schlusselback directly; the Major and I will have the +greatest pleasure in paying our respects at Court as soon +as possible. Put out my uniform, Kirsch--both our +uniforms. It is a mark of politeness which every English +gentleman ought to show to the countries which he visits +to pay his respects to the sovereigns of those countries +as to the representatives of his own." + +When Tapeworm's doctor came, Doctor von Glauber, +Body Physician to H.S.H. the Duke, he speedily +convinced Jos that the Pumpernickel mineral springs and +the Doctor's particular treatment would infallibly restore +the Bengalee to youth and slimness. "Dere came here last +year," he said, "Sheneral Bulkeley, an English Sheneral, +tvice so pic as you, sir. I sent him back qvite tin after +tree months, and he danced vid Baroness Glauber at +the end of two." + +Jos's mind was made up; the springs, the Doctor, the +Court, and the Charge d'Affaires convinced him, and he +proposed to spend the autumn in these delightful +quarters. And punctual to his word, on the next day the +Charge d'Affaires presented Jos and the Major to Victor +Aurelius XVII, being conducted to their audience with +that sovereign by the Count de Schlusselback, Marshal +of the Court. + +They were straightway invited to dinner at Court, and +their intention of staying in the town being announced, +the politest ladies of the whole town instantly called upon +Mrs. Osborne; and as not one of these, however poor +they might be, was under the rank of a Baroness, Jos's +delight was beyond expression. He wrote off to Chutney +at the Club to say that the Service was highly appreciated +in Germany, that he was going to show his friend, the +Count de Schlusselback, how to stick a pig in the Indian +fashion, and that his august friends, the Duke and +Duchess, were everything that was kind and civil. + +Emmy, too, was presented to the august family, and as +mourning is not admitted in Court on certain days, she +appeared in a pink crape dress with a diamond ornament +in the corsage, presented to her by her brother, and +she looked so pretty in this costume that the Duke and +Court (putting out of the question the Major, who had +scarcely ever seen her before in an evening dress, and +vowed that she did not look five-and-twenty) all admired +her excessively. + +In this dress she walked a Polonaise with Major Dobbin +at a Court ball, in which easy dance Mr. Jos had the +honour of leading out the Countess of Schlusselback, +an old lady with a hump back, but with sixteen good +quarters of nobility and related to half the royal houses +of Germany. + +Pumpernickel stands in the midst of a happy valley +through which sparkles--to mingle with the Rhine +somewhere, but I have not the map at hand to say exactly at +what point--the fertilizing stream of the Pump. In some +places the river is big enough to support a ferry-boat, in +others to turn a mill; in Pumpernickel itself, the last +Transparency but three, the great and renowned Victor +Aurelius XIV built a magnificent bridge, on which his +own statue rises, surrounded by water-nymphs and +emblems of victory, peace, and plenty; he has his foot on the +neck of a prostrate Turk--history says he engaged and +ran a Janissary through the body at the relief of Vienna +by Sobieski--but, quite undisturbed by the agonies +of that prostrate Mahometan, who writhes at his feet in +the most ghastly manner, the Prince smiles blandly and +points with his truncheon in the direction of the Aurelius +Platz, where he began to erect a new palace that would +have been the wonder of his age had the great-souled +Prince but had funds to complete it. But the completion +of Monplaisir (Monblaisir the honest German folks call +it) was stopped for lack of ready money, and it and its +park and garden are now in rather a faded condition, +and not more than ten times big enough to accommodate +the Court of the reigning Sovereign. + +The gardens were arranged to emulate those of +Versailles, and amidst the terraces and groves there are +some huge allegorical waterworks still, which spout and +froth stupendously upon fete-days, and frighten one +with their enormous aquatic insurrections. There is the +Trophonius' cave in which, by some artifice, the leaden +Tritons are made not only to spout water, but to play +the most dreadful groans out of their lead conchs--there +is the nymphbath and the Niagara cataract, which the +people of the neighbourhood admire beyond expression, +when they come to the yearly fair at the opening of the +Chamber, or to the fetes with which the happy little nation +still celebrates the birthdays and marriage-days of its +princely governors. + +Then from all the towns of the Duchy, which stretches +for nearly ten mile--from Bolkum, which lies on +its western frontier bidding defiance to Prussia, from +Grogwitz, where the Prince has a hunting-lodge, and +where his dominions are separated by the Pump River +from those of the neighbouring Prince of Potzenthal; from +all the little villages, which besides these three great +cities, dot over the happy principality--from the farms +and the mills along the Pump come troops of people in +red petticoats and velvet head-dresses, or with three- +cornered hats and pipes in their mouths, who flock to the +Residenz and share in the pleasures of the fair and the +festivities there. Then the theatre is open for nothing, +then the waters of Monblaisir begin to play (it is lucky +that there is company to behold them, for one would be +afraid to see them alone)--then there come mountebanks +and riding troops (the way in which his Transparency +was fascinated by one of the horse-riders is well known, +and it is believed that La Petite Vivandiere, as she was +called, was a spy in the French interest), and the delighted +people are permitted to march through room after room +of the Grand Ducal palace and admire the slippery +floor, the rich hangings, and the spittoons at the +doors of all the innumerable chambers. There is one +Pavilion at Monblaisir which Aurelius Victor XV had +arranged--a great Prince but too fond of pleasure--and +which I am told is a perfect wonder of licentious elegance. +It is painted with the story of Bacchus and Ariadne, and +the table works in and out of the room by means of a +windlass, so that the company was served without any +intervention of domestics. But the place was shut up by +Barbara, Aurelius XV's widow, a severe and devout +Princess of the House of Bolkum and Regent of the Duchy +during her son's glorious minority, and after the death +of her husband, cut off in the pride of his pleasures. + +The theatre of Pumpernickel is known and famous in +that quarter of Germany. It languished a little when the +present Duke in his youth insisted upon having his own +operas played there, and it is said one day, in a fury, +from his place in the orchestra, when he attended a +rehearsal, broke a bassoon on the head of the Chapel +Master, who was conducting, and led too slow; and during +which time the Duchess Sophia wrote domestic comedies, +which must have been very dreary to witness. But the +Prince executes his music in private now, and the Duchess +only gives away her plays to the foreigners of distinction +who visit her kind little Court. + +It is conducted with no small comfort and splendour. +When there are balls, though there may be four +hundred people at supper, there is a servant in scarlet and +lace to attend upon every four, and every one is served +on silver. There are festivals and entertainments going +continually on, and the Duke has his chamberlains and +equerries, and the Duchess her mistress of the wardrobe +and ladies of honour, just like any other and more +potent potentates. + +The Constitution is or was a moderate despotism, +tempered by a Chamber that might or might not be +elected. I never certainly could hear of its sitting in my time +at Pumpernickel. The Prime Minister had lodgings in a +second floor, and the Foreign Secretary occupied the +comfortable lodgings over Zwieback's Conditorey. The +army consisted of a magnificent band that also did duty +on the stage, where it was quite pleasant to see the +worthy fellows marching in Turkish dresses with rouge on +and wooden scimitars, or as Roman warriors with +ophicleides and trombones--to see them again, I say, at +night, after one had listened to them all the morning in +the Aurelius Platz, where they performed opposite the +cafe where we breakfasted. Besides the band, there was +a rich and numerous staff of officers, and, I believe, a +few men. Besides the regular sentries, three or four men, +habited as hussars, used to do duty at the Palace, but I +never saw them on horseback, and au fait, what was the +use of cavalry in a time of profound peace?--and whither +the deuce should the hussars ride? + +Everybody--everybody that was noble of course, for +as for the bourgeois we could not quite be expected to +take notice of THEM--visited his neighbour. H. E. Madame +de Burst received once a week, H. E. Madame de +Schnurrbart had her night--the theatre was open twice +a week, the Court graciously received once, so that a +man's life might in fact be a perfect round of pleasure in +the unpretending Pumpernickel way. + +That there were feuds in the place, no one can deny. +Politics ran very high at Pumpernickel, and parties were +very bitter. There was the Strumpff faction and the +Lederlung party, the one supported by our envoy and the +other by the French Charge d'Affaires, M. de Macabau. +Indeed it sufficed for our Minister to stand up for +Madame Strumpff, who was clearly the greater singer of the +two, and had three more notes in her voice than Madame +Lederlung her rival--it sufficed, I say, for our Minister to +advance any opinion to have it instantly contradicted +by the French diplomatist. + +Everybody in the town was ranged in one or other of +these factions. The Lederlung was a prettyish little +creature certainly, and her voice (what there was of it) was +very sweet, and there is no doubt that the Strumpff was +not in her first youth and beauty, and certainly too stout; +when she came on in the last scene of the Sonnambula, +for instance, in her night-chemise with a lamp in her +hand, and had to go out of the window, and pass over +the plank of the mill, it was all she could do to +squeeze out of the window, and the plank used to bend +and creak again under her weight--but how she poured +out the finale of the opera! and with what a burst of +feeling she rushed into Elvino's arms--almost fit to +smother him! Whereas the little Lederlung--but a truce +to this gossip--the fact is that these two women were +the two flags of the French and the English party at +Pumpernickel, and the society was divided in its +allegiance to those two great nations. + +We had on our side the Home Minister, the Master of +the Horse, the Duke's Private Secretary, and the Prince's +Tutor; whereas of the French party were the Foreign +Minister, the Commander-in-Chief's Lady, who had +served under Napoleon, and the Hof-Marschall and his +wife, who was glad enough to get the fashions from +Pans, and always had them and her caps by M. de +Macabau's courier. The Secretary of his Chancery was little +Grignac, a young fellow, as malicious as Satan, and who +made caricatures of Tapeworm in all the-albums of the +place. + +Their headquarters and table d'hote were established +at the Pariser Hof, the other inn of the town; and though, +of course, these gentlemen were obliged to be civil in +public, yet they cut at each other with epigrams that +were as sharp as razors, as I have seen a couple of +wrestlers in Devonshire, lashing at each other's shins +and never showing their agony upon a muscle of their +faces. Neither Tapeworm nor Macabau ever sent home +a dispatch to his government without a most savage +series of attacks upon his rival. For instance, on our side +we would write, "The interests of Great Britain in this +place, and throughout the whole of Germany, are perilled +by the continuance in office of the present French envoy; +this man is of a character so infamous that he will stick +at no falsehood, or hesitate at no crime, to attain his +ends. He poisons the mind of the Court against the +English minister, represents the conduct of Great Britain in +the most odious and atrocious light, and is unhappily +backed by a minister whose ignorance and necessities +are as notorious as his influence is fatal." On their side +they would.say, "M. de Tapeworm continues his +system of stupid insular arrogance and vulgar falsehood +against the greatest nation in the world. Yesterday he +was heard to speak lightly of Her Royal Highness Madame +the Duchess of Berri; on a former occasion he insulted +the heroic Duke of Angouleme and dared to insinuate +that H.R.H. the Duke of Orleans was conspiring against +the august throne of the lilies. His gold is prodigated in +every direction which his stupid menaces fail to frighten. +By one and the other, he has won over creatures of the +Court here--and, in fine, Pumpernickel will not be +quiet, Germany tranquil, France respected, or Europe +content until this poisonous viper be crushed under +heel": and so on. When one side or the other had written +any particularly spicy dispatch, news of it was sure to +slip out. + +Before the winter was far advanced, it is actually on +record that Emmy took a night and received company +with great propriety and modesty. She had a French +master, who complimented her upon the purity of her +accent and her facility of learning; the fact is she had +learned long ago and grounded herself subsequently in the +grammar so as to be able to teach it to George; and Madam +Strumpff came to give her lessons in singing, which she +performed so well and with such a true voice that the +Major's windows, who had lodgings opposite under the +Prime Minister, were always open to hear the lesson. +Some of the German ladies, who are very sentimental and +simple in their tastes, fell in love with her and began to +call her du at once. These are trivial details, but they +relate to happy times. The Major made himself George's +tutor and read Caesar and mathematics with him, and +they had a German master and rode out of evenings by +the side of Emmy's carriage--she was always too timid, +and made a dreadful outcry at the slightest disturbance +on horse-back. So she drove about with one of her dear +German friends, and Jos asleep on the back-seat of the +barouche. + +He was becoming very sweet upon the Grafinn Fanny +de Butterbrod, a very gentle tender-hearted and +unassuming young creature, a Canoness and Countess in her +own right, but with scarcely ten pounds per year to her +fortune, and Fanny for her part declared that to be +Amelia's sister was the greatest delight that Heaven could +bestow on her, and Jos might have put a Countess's shield +and coronet by the side of his own arms on his carriage +and forks; when--when events occurred, and those +grand fetes given upon the marriage of the Hereditary +Prince of Pumpernickel with the lovely Princess Amelia +of Humbourg-Schlippenschloppen took place. + +At this festival the magnificence displayed was such as +had not been known in the little German place since +the days of the prodigal Victor XIV. All the neighbouring +Princes, Princesses, and Grandees were invited to the +feast. Beds rose to half a crown per night in Pumpernickel, +and the Army was exhausted in providing guards +of honour for the Highnesses, Serenities, and Excellencies +who arrived from all quarters. The Princess was married +by proxy, at her father's residence, by the Count de +Schlusselback. Snuff-boxes were given away in profusion +(as we learned from the Court jeweller, who sold +and afterwards bought them again), and bushels of the +Order of Saint Michael of Pumpernickel were sent to +the nobles of the Court, while hampers of the cordons +and decorations of the Wheel of St. Catherine of +Schlippenschloppen were brought to ours. The French envoy +got both. "He is covered with ribbons like a prize +cart-horse," Tapeworm said, who was not allowed by the rules +of his service to take any decorations: "Let him have +the cordons; but with whom is the victory?" The fact is, +it was a triumph of British diplomacy, the French party +having proposed and tried their utmost to carry a +marriage with a Princess of the House of +Potztausend-Donnerwetter, whom, as a matter of +course, we opposed. + +Everybody was asked to the fetes of the marriage. +Garlands and triumphal arches were hung across the road +to welcome the young bride. The great Saint Michael's +Fountain ran with uncommonly sour wine, while that +in the Artillery Place frothed with beer. The great waters +played; and poles were put up in the park and gardens +for the happy peasantry, which they might climb at +their leisure, carrying off watches, silver forks, prize +sausages hung with pink ribbon, &c., at the top. Georgy +got one, wrenching it off, having swarmed up the pole to +the delight of the spectators, and sliding down with the +rapidity of a fall of water. But it was for the glory's +sake merely. The boy gave the sausage to a peasant, +who had very nearly seized it, and stood at the foot of +the mast, blubbering, because he was unsuccessful. + +At the French Chancellerie they had six more lampions +in their illumination than ours had; but our transparency, +which represented the young Couple advancing and +Discord flying away, with the most ludicrous likeness to the +French Ambassador, beat the French picture hollow; and +I have no doubt got Tapeworm the advancement and the +Cross of the Bath which he subsequently attained. + +Crowds of foreigners arrived for the fetes, and of +English, of course. Besides the Court balls, public balls +were given at the Town Hall and the Redoute, and in the +former place there was a room for trente-et-quarante +and roulette established, for the week of the festivities +only, and by one of the great German companies from +Ems or Aix-la-Chapelle. The officers or inhabitants of the +town were not allowed to play at these games, but +strangers, peasants, ladies were admitted, and any one +who chose to lose or win money. + +That little scapegrace Georgy Osborne amongst others, +whose pockets were always full of dollars and whose +relations were away at the grand festival of the Court, +came to the Stadthaus Ball in company of his uncle's +courier, Mr. Kirsch, and having only peeped into a +play-room at Baden-Baden when he hung on Dobbin's arm, +and where, of course, he was not permitted to gamble, came +eagerly to this part of the entertainment and hankered +round the tables where the croupiers and the punters +were at work. Women were playing; they were masked, +some of them; this license was allowed in these wild times +of carnival. + +A woman with light hair, in a low dress by no means +so fresh as it had been, and with a black mask on, +through the eyelets of which her eyes twinkled strangely, +was seated at one of the roulette-tables with a card and +a pin and a couple of florins before her. As the croupier +called out the colour and number, she pricked on the +card with great care and regularity, and only ventured her +money on the colours after the red or black had come +up a certain number of times. It was strange to look at +her. + +But in spite of her care and assiduity she guessed +wrong and the last two florins followed each other under +the croupier's rake, as he cried out with his inexorable +voice the winning colour and number. She gave a sigh, a +shrug with her shoulders, which were already too much +out of her gown, and dashing the pin through the card +on to the table, sat thrumming it for a while. Then she +looked round her and saw Georgy's honest face staring +at the scene. The little scamp! What business had he +to be there? + +When she saw the boy, at whose face she looked hard +through her shining eyes and mask, she said, "Monsieur +n'est pas joueur?" + +"Non, Madame," said the boy; but she must have +known, from his accent, of what country he was, for she +answered him with a slight foreign tone. "You have +nevare played--will you do me a littl' favor?" + +"What is it?" said Georgy, blushing again. Mr. Kirsch +was at work for his part at the rouge et noir and did not +see his young master. + +"Play this for me, if you please; put it on any number, +any number." And she took from her bosom a purse, and +out of it a gold piece, the only coin there, and she put it +into George's hand. The boy laughed and did as he was +bid. + +The number came up sure enough. There is a power +that arranges that, they say, for beginners. + +"Thank you," said she, pulling the money towards her, +"thank you. What is your name?" + +"My name's Osborne," said Georgy, and was fingering +in his own pockets for dollars, and just about to make a +trial, when the Major, in his uniform, and Jos, en Marquis, +from the Court ball, made their appearance. Other +people, finding the entertainment stupid and preferring the +fun at the Stadthaus, had quitted the Palace ball earlier; +but it is probable the Major and Jos had gone home and +found the boy's absence, for the former instantly went +up to him and, taking him by the shoulder, pulled him +briskly back from the place of temptation. Then, looking +round the room, he saw Kirsch employed as we have +said, and going up to him, asked how he dared to bring +Mr. George to such a place. + +"Laissez-moi tranquille," said Mr. Kirsch, very much +excited by play and wine. "ll faut s'amuser, parbleu. +Je ne suis pas au service de Monsieur." + +Seeing his condition the Major did not choose to argue +with the man, but contented himself with drawing away +George and asking Jos if he would come away. He was +standing close by the lady in the mask, who was playing +with pretty good luck now, and looking on much +interested at the game. + +"Hadn't you better come, Jos," the Major said, "with +George and me?" + +"I'll stop and go home with that rascal, Kirsch," Jos +said; and for the same reason of modesty, which he +thought ought to be preserved before the boy, Dobbin +did not care to remonstrate with Jos, but left him and +walked home with Georgy. + +"Did you play?" asked the Major when they were out +and on their way home. + +The boy said "No." + +"Give me your word of honour as a gentleman that you +never will." + +"Why?" said the boy; "it seems very good fun." And, in +a very eloquent and impressive manner, the Major showed +him why he shouldn't, and would have enforced his +precepts by the example of Georgy's own father, had he +liked to say anything that should reflect on the other's +memory. When he had housed him, he went to bed and +saw his light, in the little room outside of Amelia's, +presently disappear. Amelia's followed half an hour +afterwards. I don't know what made the Major note it +so accurately. + +Jos, however, remained behind over the play-table; he +was no gambler, but not averse to the little excitement +of the sport now and then, and he had some Napoleons +chinking in the embroidered pockets of his court +waistcoat. He put down one over the fair shoulder of the +little gambler before him, and they won. She made a little +movement to make room for him by her side, and +just took the skirt of her gown from a vacant chair there. + +"Come and give me good luck," she said, still in a +foreign accent, quite different from that frank and +perfectly English "Thank you," with which she had saluted +Georgy's coup in her favour. The portly gentleman, +looking round to see that nobody of rank observed him, +sat down; he muttered--"Ah, really, well now, God bless +my soul. I'm very fortunate; I'm sure to give you good +fortune," and other words of compliment and confusion. +"Do you play much?" the foreign mask said. + +"I put a Nap or two down," said Jos with a superb air, +flinging down a gold piece. + +"Yes; ay nap after dinner," said the mask archly. But +Jos looking frightened, she continued, in her pretty +French accent, "You do not play to win. No more do I. +I play to forget, but I cannot. I cannot forget old times, +monsieur. Your little nephew is the image of his father; +and you--you are not changed--but yes, you are. +Everybody changes, everybody forgets; nobody has +any heart." + +"Good God, who is it?" asked Jos in a flutter. + +"Can't you guess, Joseph Sedley?" said the little +woman in a sad voice, and undoing her mask, she +looked at him. "You have forgotten me." + +"Good heavens! Mrs. Crawley!" gasped out Jos. + +"Rebecca," said the other, putting her hand on his; +but she followed the game still, all the time she was +looking at him. + +"I am stopping at the Elephant," she continued. "Ask +for Madame de Raudon. I saw my dear Amelia to-day; +how pretty she looked, and how happy! So do you! +Everybody but me, who am wretched, Joseph Sedley." +And she put her money over from the red to the black, +as if by a chance movement of her hand, and while she +was wiping her eyes with a pocket-handkerchief fringed +with torn lace. + +The red came up again, and she lost the whole of that +stake.~ "Come away," she said. "Come with me a little +--we are old friends, are we not, dear Mr. Sedley?" + +And Mr. Kirsch having lost all his money by this +time, followed his master out into the moonlight, where +the illuminations were winking out and the transparency +over our mission was scarcely visible. + + + + +CHAPTER LXIV + + +A Vagabond Chapter + +We must pass over a part of Mrs. Rebecca Crawley's +biography with that lightness and delicacy which the +world demands--the moral world, that has, perhaps, no +particular objection to vice, but an insuperable repugnance +to hearing vice called by its proper name. There +are things we do and know perfectly well in Vanity Fair, +though we never speak of them: as the Ahrimanians +worship the devil, but don't mention him: and a polite +public will no more bear to read an authentic description +of vice than a truly refined English or American female +will permit the word breeches to be pronounced in her +chaste hearing. And yet, madam, both are walking the +world before our faces every day, without much shocking +us. If you were to blush every time they went by, what +complexions you would have! It is only when their +naughty names are called out that your modesty has any +occasion to show alarm or sense of outrage, and it has +been the wish of the present writer, all through this story, +deferentially to submit to the fashion at present prevailing, +and only to hint at the existence of wickedness in a +light, easy, and agreeable manner, so that nobody's fine +feelings may be offended. I defy any one to say that +our Becky, who has certainly some vices, has not been +presented to the public in a perfectly genteel and +inoffensive manner. In describing this Siren, singing and +smiling, coaxing and cajoling, the author, with modest pride, +asks his readers all round, has he once forgotten the +laws of politeness, and showed the monster's hideous tail +above water? No! Those who like may peep down under +waves that are pretty transparent and see it writhing and +twirling, diabolically hideous and slimy, flapping amongst +bones, or curling round corpses; but above the waterline, +I ask, has not everything been proper, agreeable, +and decorous, and has any the most squeamish immoralist +in Vanity Fair a right to cry fie? When, however, the Siren +disappears and dives below, down among the dead men, +the water of course grows turbid over her, and it is labour +lost to look into it ever so curiously. They look pretty +enough when they sit upon a rock, twanging their harps +and combing their hair, and sing, and beckon to you to +come and hold the looking-glass; but when they sink +into their native element, depend on it, those mermaids +are about no good, and we had best not examine the +fiendish marine cannibals, revelling and feasting on their +wretched pickled victims. And so, when Becky is out of +the way, be sure that she is not particularly well +employed, and that the less that is said about her doings +is in fact the better. + +If we were to give a full account of her proceedings +during a couple of years that followed after the Curzon +Street catastrophe, there might be some reason for +people to say this book was improper. The actions of very +vain, heartless, pleasure-seeking people are very often +improper (as are many of yours, my friend with the +grave face and spotless reputation--but that is merely +by the way); and what are those of a woman without +faith--or love--or character? And I am inclined to think +that there was a period in Mrs Becky's life when +she was seized, not by remorse, but by a kind of despair, +and absolutely neglected her person and did not even +care for her reputation. + +This abattement and degradation did not take place +all at once; it was brought about by degrees, after her +calamity, and after many struggles to keep up--as a +man who goes overboard hangs on to a spar whilst any +hope is left, and then flings it away and goes down, when +he finds that struggling is in vain. + +She lingered about London whilst her husband was +making preparations for his departure to his seat of +government, and it is believed made more than one +attempt to see her brother-in-law, Sir Pitt Crawley, and to +work upon his feelings, which she had almost +enlisted in her favour. As Sir Pitt and Mr. Wenham were +walking down to the House of Commons, the latter spied +Mrs. Rawdon in a black veil, and lurking near the palace +of the legislature. She sneaked away when her eyes met +those of Wenham, and indeed never succeeded in her +designs upon the Baronet. + +Probably Lady Jane interposed. I have heard that she +quite astonished her husband by the spirit which she +exhibited in this quarrel, and her determination to disown +Mrs. Becky. Of her own movement, she invited Rawdon +to come and stop in Gaunt Street until his departure for +Coventry Island, knowing that with him for a guard Mrs. +Becky would not try to force her door; and she looked +curiously at the superscriptions of all the letters which +arrived for Sir Pitt, lest he and his sister-in-law should +be corresponding. Not but that Rebecca could have +written had she a mind, but she did not try to see or to write +to Pitt at his own house, and after one or two attempts +consented to his demand that the correspondence +regarding her conjugal differences should be carried on by +lawyers only. + +The fact was that Pitt's mind had been poisoned against +her. A short time after Lord Steyne's accident Wenham +had been with the Baronet and given him such a biography +of Mrs. Becky as had astonished the member for +Queen's Crawley. He knew everything regarding her: +who her father was; in what year her mother danced at +the opera; what had been her previous history; and what +her conduct during her married life--as I have no doubt +that the greater part of the story was false and +dictated by interested malevolence, it shall not be repeated +here. But Becky was left with a sad sad reputation in the +esteem of a country gentleman and relative who had +been once rather partial to her. + +The revenues of the Governor of Coventry Island are +not large. A part of them were set aside by his Excellency +for the payment of certain outstanding debts and +liabilities, the charges incident on his high situation +required considerable expense; finally, it was found that +he could not spare to his wife more than three hundred +pounds a year, which he proposed to pay to her on +an undertaking that she would never trouble him. +Otherwise, scandal, separation, Doctors' Commons would +ensue. But it was Mr. Wenham's business, Lord Steyne's +business, Rawdon's, everybody's--to get her out of the +country, and hush up a most disagreeable affair. + +She was probably so much occupied in arranging these +affairs of business with her husband's lawyers that she +forgot to take any step whatever about her son, the little +Rawdon, and did not even once propose to go and see +him. That young gentleman was consigned to the entire +guardianship of his aunt and uncle, the former of whom +had always possessed a great share of the child's +affection. His mamma wrote him a neat letter from Boulogne, +when she quitted England, in which she requested him to +mind his book, and said she was going to take a +Continental tour, during which she would have the pleasure +of writing to him again. But she never did for a year +afterwards, and not, indeed, until Sir Pitt's only boy, +always sickly, died of hooping-cough and measles--then +Rawdon's mamma wrote the most affectionate composition +to her darling son, who was made heir of Queen's +Crawley by this accident, and drawn more closely than +ever to the kind lady, whose tender heart had already +adopted him. Rawdon Crawley, then grown a tall, fine +lad, blushed when he got the letter. "Oh, Aunt Jane, you +are my mother!" he said; "and not--and not that one." +But he wrote back a kind and respectful letter to Mrs. +Rebecca, then living at a boarding-house at Florence. +But we are advancing matters. + +Our darling Becky's first flight was not very far. She +perched upon the French coast at Boulogne, that refuge +of so much exiled English innocence, and there lived in +rather a genteel, widowed manner, with a femme de +chambre and a couple of rooms, at an hotel. She dined +at the table d'hote, where people thought her very pleasant, +and where she entertained her neighbours by stories +of her brother, Sir Pitt, and her great London acquaintance, +talking that easy, fashionable slip-slop which has +so much effect upon certain folks of small breeding. She +passed with many of them for a person of importance; +she gave little tea-parties in her private room and shared +in the innocent amusements of the place in sea-bathing, +and in jaunts in open carriages, in strolls on the sands, +and in visits to the play. Mrs. Burjoice, the printer's +lady, who was boarding with her family at the hotel for +the summer, and to whom her Burjoice came of a +Saturday and Sunday, voted her charming, until that little +rogue of a Burjoice began to pay her too much +attention. But there was nothing in the story, only that +Becky was always affable, easy, and good-natured--and +with men especially. + +Numbers of people were going abroad as usual at the +end of the season, and Becky had plenty of opportunities +of finding out by the behaviour of her acquaintances of +the great London world the opinion of "society" as +regarded her conduct. One day it was Lady Partlet and her +daughters whom Becky confronted as she was walking +modestly on Boulogne pier, the cliffs of Albion shining +in the distance across the deep blue sea. Lady Partlet +marshalled all her daughters round her with a sweep of +her parasol and retreated from the pier, darting savage +glances at poor little Becky who stood alone there. + +On another day the packet came in. It had been +blowing fresh, and it always suited Becky's humour to +see the droll woe-begone faces of the people as they +emerged from the boat. Lady Slingstone happened to be +on board this day. Her ladyship had been exceedingly ill +in her carriage, and was greatly exhausted and scarcely +fit to walk up the plank from the ship to the pier. But +all her energies rallied the instant she saw Becky smiling +roguishly under a pink bonnet, and giving her a +glance of scorn such as would have shrivelled up most +women, she walked into the Custom House quite +unsupported. Becky only laughed: but I don't think she liked +it. She felt she was alone, quite alone, and the far-off +shining cliffs of England were impassable to her. + +The behaviour of the men had undergone too I don't +know what change. Grinstone showed his teeth and +laughed in her face with a familiarity that was not pleasant. +Little Bob Suckling, who was cap in hand to her +three months before, and would walk a mile in the rain +to see for her carriage in the line at Gaunt House, was +talking to Fitzoof of the Guards (Lord Heehaw's son) +one day upon the jetty, as Becky took her walk there. +Little Bobby nodded to her over his shoulder, without +moving his hat, and continued his conversation with the +heir of Heehaw. Tom Raikes tried to walk into her +sitting-room at the inn with a cigar in his mouth, but she +closed the door upon him, and would have locked it, +only that his fingers were inside. She began to feel that +she was very lonely indeed. "If HE'D been here," she said, +"those cowards would never have dared to insult me." +She thought about "him" with great sadness and +perhaps longing--about his honest, stupid, constant kindness +and fidelity; his never-ceasing obedience; his good +humour; his bravery and courage. Very likely she cried, +for she was particularly lively, and had put on a little +extra rouge, when she came down to dinner. + +She rouged regularly now; and--and her maid got +Cognac for her besides that which was charged in the +hotel bill. + +Perhaps the insults of the men were not, however, so +intolerable to her as the sympathy of certain women. +Mrs. Crackenbury and Mrs. Washington White passed +through Boulogne on their way to Switzerland. ~The party +were protected by Colonel Horner, young Beaumoris, and +of course old Crackenbury, and Mrs. White's little girl.) +THEY did not avoid her. They giggled, cackled, tattled, +condoled, consoled, and patronized her until they drove +her almost wild with rage. To be patronized by THEM! +she thought, as they went away simpering after kissing +her. And she heard Beaumoris's laugh ringing on the +stair and knew quite well how to interpret his hilarity. + +It was after this visit that Becky, who had paid her +weekly bills, Becky who had made herself agreeable to +everybody in the house, who smiled at the landlady, +called the waiters "monsieur," and paid the chambermaids +in politeness and apologies, what far more than +compensated for a little niggardliness in point of money +(of which Becky never was free), that Becky, we say, +received a notice to quit from the landlord, who had +been told by some one that she was quite an unfit +person to have at his hotel, where English ladies would not +sit down with her. And she was forced to fly into lodgings +of which the dulness and solitude were most wearisome +to her. + +Still she held up, in spite of these rebuffs, and tried to +make a character for herself and conquer scandal. She +went to church very regularly and sang louder than +anybody there. She took up the cause of the widows of the +shipwrecked fishermen, and gave work and drawings for +the Quashyboo Mission; she subscribed to the Assembly +and WOULDN'T waltz. In a word, she did everything that +was respectable, and that is why we dwell upon this +part of her career with more fondness than upon +subsequent parts of her history, which are not so pleasant. +She saw people avoiding her, and still laboriously smiled +upon them; you never could suppose from her +countenance what pangs of humiliation she might be +enduring inwardly. + +Her history was after all a mystery. Parties were +divided about her. Some people who took the trouble to +busy themselves in the matter said that she was the +criminal, whilst others vowed that she was as innocent +as a lamb and that her odious husband was in fault. +She won over a good many by bursting into tears +about her boy and exhibiting the most frantic grief +when his name was mentioned, or she saw anybody like +him. She gained good Mrs. Alderney's heart in that way, +who was rather the Queen of British Boulogne and gave +the most dinners and balls of all the residents there, by +weeping when Master Alderney came from Dr. Swishtail's +academy to pass his holidays with his mother. "He and +her Rawdon were of the same age, and so like," Becky +said in a voice choking with agony; whereas there was +five years' difference between the boys' ages, and no +more likeness between them than between my respected +reader and his humble servant. Wenham, when he was +going abroad, on his way to Kissingen to join Lord +Steyne, enlightened Mrs. Alderney on this point and told +her how he was much more able to describe little +Rawdon than his mamma, who notoriously hated him and +never saw him; how he was thirteen years old, while +little Alderney was but nine, fair, while the other darling +was dark--in a word, caused the lady in question to +repent of her good humour. + +Whenever Becky made a little circle for herself with +incredible toils and labour, somebody came and swept it +down rudely, and she had all her work to begin over +again. It was very hard; very hard; lonely and +disheartening. + +There was Mrs. Newbright, who took her up for some +time, attracted by the sweetness of her singing at church +and by her proper views upon serious subjects, concerning +which in former days, at Queen's Crawley, Mrs. +Becky had had a good deal of instruction. Well, she not +only took tracts, but she read them. She worked flannel +petticoats for the Quashyboos--cotton night-caps for the +Cocoanut Indians--painted handscreens for the +conversion of the Pope and the Jews--sat under Mr. Rowls +on Wednesdays, Mr. Huggleton on Thursdays, attended +two Sunday services at church, besides Mr. Bawler, the +Darbyite, in the evening, and all in vain. Mrs. Newbright +had occasion to correspond with the Countess of Southdown +about the Warmingpan Fund for the Fiji +Islanders (for the management of which admirable +charity both these ladies formed part of a female committee), +and having mentioned her "sweet friend," Mrs. Rawdon +Crawley, the Dowager Countess wrote back such a +letter regarding Becky, with such particulars, hints, facts, +falsehoods, and general comminations, that intimacy +between Mrs. Newbright and Mrs. Crawley ceased forthwith, +and all the serious world of Tours, where this misfortune +took place, immediately parted company with the +reprobate. Those who know the English Colonies abroad +know that we carry with us us our pride, pills, prejudices, +Harvey-sauces, cayenne-peppers, and other Lares, +making a little Britain wherever we settle down. + +From one colony to another Becky fled uneasily. From +Boulogne to Dieppe, from Dieppe to Caen, from Caen +to Tours--trying with all her might to be respectable, +and alas! always found out some day or other and +pecked out of the cage by the real daws. + +Mrs. Hook Eagles took her up at one of these places-- +a woman without a blemish in her character and a house +in Portman Square. She was staying at the hotel at Dieppe, +whither Becky fled, and they made each other's acquaintance +first at sea, where they were swimming together, +and subsequently at the table d'hote of the hotel. Mrs +Eagles had heard--who indeed had not?--some of the +scandal of the Steyne affair; but after a conversation +with Becky, she pronounced that Mrs. Crawley was an +angel, her husband a ruffian, Lord Steyne an +unprincipled wretch, as everybody knew, and the whole case +against Mrs. Crawley an infamous and wicked conspiracy +of that rascal Wenham. "If you were a man of +any spirit, Mr. Eagles, you would box the wretch's ears +the next time you see him at the Club," she said to her +husband. But Eagles was only a quiet old gentleman, +husband to Mrs. Eagles, with a taste for geology, and not tall +enough to reach anybody's ears. + +The Eagles then patronized Mrs. Rawdon, took her to +live with her at her own house at Paris, quarrelled with +the ambassador's wife because she would not receive her +protegee, and did all that lay in woman's power to keep +Becky straight in the paths of virtue and good repute. + +Becky was very respectable and orderly at first, but +the life of humdrum virtue grew utterly tedious to her +before long. It was the same routine every day, the same +dulness and comfort, the same drive over the same +stupid Bois de Boulogne, the same company of an +evening, the same Blair's Sermon of a Sunday night--the +same opera always being acted over and over again; +Becky was dying of weariness, when, luckily for her, +young Mr. Eagles came from Cambridge, and his mother, +seeing the impression which her little friend made upon +him, straightway gave Becky warning. + +Then she tried keeping house with a female friend; +then the double menage began to quarrel and get into +debt. Then she determined upon a boarding-house existence +and lived for some time at that famous mansion +kept by Madame de Saint Amour, in the Rue Royale, at +Paris, where she began exercising her graces and +fascinations upon the shabby dandies and fly-blown beauties +who frequented her landlady's salons. Becky loved +society and, indeed, could no more exist without it than an +opium-eater without his dram, and she was happy +enough at the period of her boarding-house life. "The +women here are as amusing as those in May Fair," she +told an old London friend who met her, "only, their +dresses are not quite so fresh. The men wear cleaned +gloves, and are sad rogues, certainly, but they are not +worse than Jack This and Tom That. The mistress of the +house is a little vulgar, but I don't think she is so vulgar +as Lady --" and here she named the name of a +great leader of fashion that I would die rather than +reveal. In fact, when you saw Madame de Saint Amour's +rooms lighted up of a night, men with plaques and +cordons at the ecarte tables, and the women at a little +distance, you might fancy yourself for a while in good +society, and that Madame was a real Countess. Many +people did so fancy, and Becky was for a while one of the +most dashing ladies of the Countess's salons. + +But it is probable that her old creditors of 1815 found +her out and caused her to leave Paris, for the poor little +woman was forced to fly from the city rather suddenly, +and went thence to Brussels. + +How well she remembered the place! She grinned as +she looked up at the little entresol which she had +occupied, and thought of the Bareacres family, bawling +for horses and flight, as their carriage stood in the +porte-cochere of the hotel. She went to Waterloo and to +Laeken, where George Osborne's monument much +struck her. She made a little sketch of it. "That poor +Cupid!" she said; "how dreadfully he was in love with +me, and what a fool he was! I wonder whether little +Emmy is alive. It was a good little creature; and that +fat brother of hers. I have his funny fat picture still +among my papers. They were kind simple people." + +At Brussels Becky arrived, recommended by Madame +de Saint Amour to her friend, Madame la Comtesse de +Borodino, widow of Napoleon's General, the famous +Count de Borodino, who was left with no resource by the +deceased hero but that of a table d'hote and an ecarte +table. Second-rate dandies and roues, widow-ladies who +always have a lawsuit, and very simple English folks, who +fancy they see "Continental society" at these houses, put +down their money, or ate their meals, at Madame de +Borodino's tables. The gallant young fellows treated the +company round to champagne at the table d'hote, rode +out with the women, or hired horses on country excursions, +clubbed money to take boxes at the play or the +opera, betted over the fair shoulders of the ladies at the +ecarte tables, and wrote home to their parents in +Devonshire about their felicitous introduction to foreign +society. + +Here, as at Paris, Becky was a boarding-house queen, +and ruled in select pensions. She never refused the +champagne, or the bouquets, or the drives into the country, +or the private boxes; but what she preferred was the +ecarte at night,--and she played audaciously. First she +played only for a little, then for five-franc pieces, then for +Napoleons, then for notes: then she would not be able +to pay her month's pension: then she borrowed from +the young gentlemen: then she got into cash again and +bullied Madame de Borodino, whom she had coaxed and +wheedled before: then she was playing for ten sous at a +time, and in a dire state of poverty: then her quarter's +allowance would come in, and she would pay off Madame +de Borodino's score and would once more take the +cards against Monsieur de Rossignol, or the Chevalier de +Raff. + +When Becky left Brussels, the sad truth is that she +owed three months' pension to Madame de Borodino, of +which fact, and of the gambling, and of the drinking, and +of the going down on her knees to the Reverend Mr. +Muff, Ministre Anglican, and borrowing money of him, +and of her coaxing and flirting with Milor Noodle, son of +Sir Noodle, pupil of the Rev. Mr. Muff, whom she used +to take into her private room, and of whom she won +large sums at ecarte--of which fact, I say, and of a +hundred of her other knaveries, the Countess de +Borodino informs every English person who stops at her +establishment, and announces that Madame Rawdon was +no better than a vipere. + +So our little wanderer went about setting up her tent +in various cities of Europe, as restless as Ulysses or +Bampfylde Moore Carew. Her taste for disrespectability +grew more and more remarkable. She became a perfect +Bohemian ere long, herding with people whom it would +make your hair stand on end to meet. + +There is no town of any mark in Europe but it has its +little colony of English raffs--men whose names Mr. +Hemp the officer reads out periodically at the Sheriffs' +Court--young gentlemen of very good family often, only +that the latter disowns them; frequenters of billiard- +rooms and estaminets, patrons of foreign races and +gaming-tables. They people the debtors' prisons--they +drink and swagger--they fight and brawl--they run away +without paying--they have duels with French and German +officers--they cheat Mr. Spooney at ecarte--they get +the money and drive off to Baden in magnificent britzkas +--they try their infallible martingale and lurk about the +tables with empty pockets, shabby bullies, penniless +bucks, until they can swindle a Jew banker with a sham +bill of exchange, or find another Mr. Spooney to rob. +The alternations of splendour and misery which these +people undergo are very queer to view. Their life must +be one of great excitement. Becky--must it be owned?-- +took to this life, and took to it not unkindly. She went +about from town to town among these Bohemians. The +lucky Mrs. Rawdon was known at every play-table in +Germany. She and Madame de Cruchecassee kept house at +Florence together. It is said she was ordered out of +Munich, and my friend Mr. Frederick Pigeon avers that it +was at her house at Lausanne that he was hocussed at +supper and lost eight hundred pounds to Major Loder +and the Honourable Mr. Deuceace. We are bound, you +see, to give some account of Becky's biography, but of +this part, the less, perhaps, that is said the better. + +They say that, when Mrs. Crawley was particularly +down on her luck, she gave concerts and lessons in music +here and there. There was a Madame de Raudon, who +certainly had a matinee musicale at Wildbad, +accompanied by Herr Spoff, premier pianist to the Hospodar of +Wallachia, and my little friend Mr. Eaves, who knew +everybody and had travelled everywhere, always used to +declare that he was at Strasburg in the year 1830, when a +certain Madame Rebecque made her appearance in the +opera of the Dame Blanche, giving occasion to a furious +row in the theatre there. She was hissed off the stage by +the audience, partly from her own incompetency, but +chiefly from the ill-advised sympathy of some persons in +the parquet, (where the officers of the garrison had their +admissions); and Eaves was certain that the unfortunate +debutante in question was no other than Mrs. +Rawdon Crawley. + +She was, in fact, no better than a vagabond upon this +earth. When she got her money she gambled; when she +had gambled it she was put to shifts to live; who knows +how or by what means she succeeded? It is said that she +was once seen at St. Petersburg, but was summarily +dismissed from that capital by the police, so that there +cannot be any possibility of truth in the report that she was +a Russian spy at Toplitz and Vienna afterwards. I have +even been informed that at Paris she discovered a +relation of her own, no less a person than her maternal +grandmother, who was not by any means a +Montmorenci, but a hideous old box-opener at a theatre on +the Boulevards. The meeting between them, of which +other persons, as it is hinted elsewhere, seem to have +been acquainted, must have been a very affecting +interview. The present historian can give no certain details +regarding the event. + +It happened at Rome once that Mrs. de Rawdon's half- +year's salary had just been paid into the principal +banker's there, and, as everybody who had a balance of +above five hundred scudi was invited to the balls which +this prince of merchants gave during the winter, Becky +had the honour of a card, and appeared at one of the +Prince and Princess Polonia's splendid evening entertainments. +The Princess was of the family of Pompili, lineally +descended from the second king of Rome, and Egeria +of the house of Olympus, while the Prince's grandfather, +Alessandro Polonia, sold wash-balls, essences, +tobacco, and pocket-handkerchiefs, ran errands for +gentlemen, and lent money in a small way. All the great +company in Rome thronged to his saloons--Princes, +Dukes, Ambassadors, artists, fiddlers, monsignori, young +bears with their leaders--every rank and condition of +man. His halls blazed with light and magnificence; were +resplendent with gilt frames (containing pictures), and +dubious antiques; and the enormous gilt crown and arms +of the princely owner, a gold mushroom on a crimson +field (the colour of the pocket-handkerchiefs which he +sold), and the silver fountain of the Pompili family shone +all over the roof, doors, and panels of the house, and +over the grand velvet baldaquins prepared to receive +Popes and Emperors. + +So Becky, who had arrived in the diligence from +Florence, and was lodged at an inn in a very modest way, +got a card for Prince Polonia's entertainment, and her +maid dressed her with unusual care, and she went to this +fine ball leaning on the arm of Major Loder, with whom +she happened to be travelling at the time--(the same +man who shot Prince Ravoli at Naples the next year, and +was caned by Sir John Buckskin for carrying four kings +in his hat besides those which he used in playing at +ecarte )--and this pair went into the rooms together, +and Becky saw a number of old faces which she +remembered in happier days, when she was not innocent, +but not found out. Major Loder knew a great number +of foreigners, keen-looking whiskered men with dirty +striped ribbons in their buttonholes, and a very small +display of linen; but his own countrymen, it might be +remarked, eschewed the Major. Becky, too, knew some +ladies here and there--French widows, dubious Italian +countesses, whose husbands had treated them ill--faugh +--what shall we say, we who have moved among +some of the finest company of Vanity Fair, of this refuse +and sediment of rascals? If we play, let it be with clean +cards, and not with this dirty pack. But every man who +has formed one of the innumerable army of travellers +has seen these marauding irregulars hanging on, like +Nym and Pistol, to the main force, wearing the king's +colours and boasting of his commission, but pillaging +for themselves, and occasionally gibbeted by the roadside. + +Well, she was hanging on the arm of Major Loder, +and they went through the rooms together, and drank a +great quantity of champagne at the buffet, where the +people, and especially the Major's irregular corps, +struggled furiously for refreshments, of which when the +pair had had enough, they pushed on until they reached +the Duchess's own pink velvet saloon, at the end of the +suite of apartments (where the statue of the Venus is, +and the great Venice looking-glasses, framed in silver), +and where the princely family were entertaining their +most distinguished guests at a round table at supper. It +was just such a little select banquet as that of which +Becky recollected that she had partaken at Lord Steyne's +--and there he sat at Polonia's table, and she saw him. +The scar cut by the diamond on his white, bald, +shining forehead made a burning red mark; his red whiskers +were dyed of a purple hue, which made his pale face +look still paler. He wore his collar and orders, his blue +ribbon and garter. He was a greater Prince than any +there, though there was a reigning Duke and a Royal +Highness, with their princesses, and near his Lordship +was seated the beautiful Countess of Belladonna, nee +de Glandier, whose husband (the Count Paolo della +Belladonna), so well known for his brilliant entomological +collections, had been long absent on a mission to the +Emperor of Morocco. + +When Becky beheld that familiar and illustrious face, +how vulgar all of a sudden did Major Loder appear to +her, and how that odious Captain Rook did smell of +tobacco! In one instant she reassumed her fine-ladyship +and tried to look and feel as if she were in May Fair +once more. "That woman looks stupid and ill-humoured," +she thought; "I am sure she can't amuse him. No, he must +be bored by her--he never was by me." A hundred such +touching hopes, fears, and memories palpitated in her +little heart, as she looked with her brightest eyes (the +rouge which she wore up to her eyelids made them +twinkle) towards the great nobleman. Of a Star and Garter +night Lord Steyne used also to put on his grandest +manner and to look and speak like a great prince, as he was. +Becky admired him smiling sumptuously, easy, lofty, and +stately. Ah, bon Dieu, what a pleasant companion he +was, what a brilliant wit, what a rich fund of talk, what +a grand manner!--and she had exchanged this for Major +Loder, reeking of cigars and brandy-and-water, and +Captain Rook with his horsejockey jokes and prize-ring +slang, and their like. "I wonder whether he will know +me," she thought. Lord Steyne was talking and laughing +with a great and illustrious lady at his side, when he +looked up and saw Becky. + +She was all over in a flutter as their eyes met, and she +put on the very best smile she could muster, and dropped +him a little, timid, imploring curtsey. He stared aghast +at her for a minute, as Macbeth might on beholding +Banquo's sudden appearance at his ball-supper, and remained +looking at her with open mouth, when that horrid Major +Loder pulled her away. + +"Come away into the supper-room, Mrs. R.," was that +gentleman's remark: "seeing these nobs grubbing away +has made me peckish too. Let's go and try the old +governor's champagne." Becky thought the Major had had +a great deal too much already. + +The day after she went to walk on the Pincian Hill-- +the Hyde Park of the Roman idlers--possibly in hopes to +have another sight of Lord Steyne. But she met another +acquaintance there: it was Mr. Fiche, his lordship's +confidential man, who came up nodding to her rather +familiarly and putting a finger to his hat. "I knew that Madame +was here," he said; "I followed her from her hotel. I have +some advice to give Madame." + +"From the Marquis of Steyne?" Becky asked, resuming +as much of her dignity as she could muster, and not +a little agitated by hope and expectation. + +"No," said the valet; "it is from me. Rome is very +unwholesome." + +"Not at this season, Monsieur Fiche--not till after +Easter." + +"I tell Madame it is unwholesome now. There is always +malaria for some people. That cursed marsh wind kills +many at all seasons. Look, Madame Crawley, you were +always bon enfant, and I have an interest in you, parole +d'honneur. Be warned. Go away from Rome, I tell you-- +or you will be ill and die." + +Becky laughed, though in rage and fury. "What! +assassinate poor little me?" she said. "How romantic! Does +my lord carry bravos for couriers, and stilettos in the +fourgons? Bah! I will stay, if but to plague him. I have +those who will defend me whilst I am here." + +It was Monsieur Fiche's turn to laugh now. "Defend +you," he said, "and who? The Major, the Captain, any +one of those gambling men whom Madame sees would +take her life for a hundred louis. We know things about +Major Loder (he is no more a Major than I am my Lord +the Marquis) which would send him to the galleys or +worse. We know everything and have friends everywhere. +We know whom you saw at Paris, and what relations you +found there. Yes, Madame may stare, but we do. How +was it that no minister on the Continent would receive +Madame? She has offended somebody: who never +forgives--whose rage redoubled when he saw you. He was +like a madman last night when he came home. Madame +de Belladonna made him a scene about you and fired off +in one of her furies." + +"Oh, it was Madame de Belladonna, was it?" Becky +said, relieved a little, for the information she had just got +had scared her. + +"No--she does not matter--she is always jealous. I +tell you it was Monseigneur. You did wrong to show +yourself to him. And if you stay here you will repent it. Mark +my words. Go. Here is my lord's carriage"--and seizing +Becky's arm, he rushed down an alley of the garden as +Lord Steyne's barouche, blazing with heraldic devices, +came whirling along the avenue, borne by the almost +priceless horses, and bearing Madame de Belladonna +lolling on the cushions, dark, sulky, and blooming, a King +Charles in her lap, a white parasol swaying over her +head, and old Steyne stretched at her side with a livid +face and ghastly eyes. Hate, or anger, or desire caused +them to brighten now and then still, but ordinarily, they +gave no light, and seemed tired of looking out on a world +of which almost all the pleasure and all the best beauty +had palled upon the worn-out wicked old man. + +"Monseigneur has never recovered the shock of that +night, never," Monsieur Fiche whispered to Mrs. Crawley +as the carriage flashed by, and she peeped out at it +from behind the shrubs that hid her. "That was a +consolation at any rate," Becky thought. + +Whether my lord really had murderous intentions +towards Mrs. Becky as Monsieur Fiche said (since +Monseigneur's death he has returned to his native country, +where he lives much respected, and has purchased from +his Prince the title of Baron Ficci), and the factotum +objected to have to do with assassination; or whether he +simply had a commission to frighten Mrs. Crawley out of +a city where his Lordship proposed to pass the winter, +and the sight of her would be eminently disagreeable to +the great nobleman, is a point which has never been +ascertained: but the threat had its effect upon the little +woman, and she sought no more to intrude herself upon +the presence of her old patron. + +Everybody knows the melancholy end of that +nobleman, which befell at Naples two months after the French +Revolution of 1830; when the Most Honourable George +Gustavus, Marquis of Steyne, Earl of Gaunt and of Gaunt +Castle, in the Peerage of Ireland, Viscount Hellborough, +Baron Pitchley and Grillsby, a Knight of the Most Noble +Order of the Garter, of the Golden Fleece of Spain, of +the Russian Order of Saint Nicholas of the First Class, of +the Turkish Order of the Crescent, First Lord of the +Powder Closet and Groom of the Back Stairs, Colonel of +the Gaunt or Regent's Own Regiment of Militia, a Trustee +of the British Museum, an Elder Brother of the Trinity +House, a Governor of the White Friars, and D.C.L.-- +died after a series of fits brought on, as the papers said, +by the shock occasioned to his lordship's sensibilities by +the downfall of the ancient French monarchy. + +An eloquent catalogue appeared in a weekly print, +describing his virtues, his magnificence, his talents, and +his good actions. His sensibility, his attachment to the +illustrious House of Bourbon, with which he claimed an +alliance, were such that he could not survive the +misfortunes of his august kinsmen. His body was buried at +Naples, and his heart--that heart which always beat with +every generous and noble emotion was brought back to +Castle Gaunt in a silver urn. "In him," Mr. Wagg said, +"the poor and the Fine Arts have lost a beneficent patron, +society one of its most brilliant ornaments, and England +one of her loftiest patriots and statesmen," &c., &c. + +His will was a good deal disputed, and an attempt was +made to force from Madame de Belladonna the +celebrated jewel called the "Jew's-eye" diamond, which his +lordship always wore on his forefinger, and which it was +said that she removed from it after his lamented demise. +But his confidential friend and attendant, Monsieur Fiche +proved that the ring had been presented to the said +Madame de Belladonna two days before the Marquis's +death, as were the bank-notes, jewels, Neapolitan and +French bonds, &c., found in his lordship's secretaire and +claimed by his heirs from that injured woman. + + + +CHAPTER LXV + + +Full of Business and Pleasure + +The day after the meeting at the play-table, Jos had +himself arrayed with unusual care and splendour, and +without thinking it necessary to say a word to any +member of his family regarding the occurrences of the previous +night, or asking for their company in his walk, he sallied +forth at an early hour, and was presently seen making +inquiries at the door of the Elephant Hotel. In consequence +of the fetes the house was full of company, the +tables in the street were already surrounded by persons +smoking and drinking the national small-beer, the public +rooms were in a cloud of smoke, and Mr. Jos having, in +his pompous way, and with his clumsy German, made +inquiries for the person of whom he was in search, was +directed to the very top of the house, above the first-floor +rooms where some travelling pedlars had lived, and were +exhibiting their jewellery and brocades; above the second- +floor apartments occupied by the etat major of the +gambling firm; above the third-floor rooms, tenanted by the +band of renowned Bohemian vaulters and tumblers; and +so on to the little cabins of the roof, where, among +students, bagmen, small tradesmen, and country-folks come +in for the festival, Becky had found a little nest--as dirty +a little refuge as ever beauty lay hid in. + +Becky liked the life. She was at home with everybody +in the place, pedlars, punters, tumblers, students and all. +She was of a wild, roving nature, inherited from father +and mother, who were both Bohemians, by taste and +circumstance; if a lord was not by, she would talk to his +courier with the greatest pleasure; the din, the stir, the +drink, the smoke, the tattle of the Hebrew pedlars, the +solemn, braggart ways of the poor tumblers, the sournois +talk of the gambling-table officials, the songs and swagger +of the students, and the general buzz and hum of +the place had pleased and tickled the little woman, even +when her luck was down and she had not wherewithal to +pay her bill. How pleasant was all the bustle to her now +that her purse was full of the money which little Georgy +had won for her the night before! + +As Jos came creaking and puffing up the final stairs, +and was speechless when he got to the landing, and began +to wipe his face and then to look for No. 92, the room +where he was directed to seek for the person he wanted, +the door of the opposite chamber, No. 90, was open, +and a student, in jack-boots and a dirty schlafrock, was +lying on the bed smoking a long pipe; whilst another +student in long yellow hair and a braided coat, exceeding +smart and dirty too, was actually on his knees at No. 92, +bawling through the keyhole supplications to the person +within. + +"Go away," said a well-known voice, which made Jos +thrill, "I expect somebody; I expect my grandpapa. He +mustn't see you there." + +"Angel Englanderinn!" bellowed the kneeling student +with the whity-brown ringlets and the large finger-ring, +"do take compassion upon us. Make an appointment. +Dine with me and Fritz at the inn in the park. We will +have roast pheasants and porter, plum-pudding and +French wine. We shall die if you don't." + +"That we will," said the young nobleman on the bed; +and this colloquy Jos overheard, though he did not +comprehend it, for the reason that he had never studied +the language in which it was carried on. + +"Newmero kattervang dooze, si vous plait," Jos said +in his grandest manner, when he was able to speak. + +"Quater fang tooce!" said the student, starting up, and +he bounced into his own room, where he locked the door, +and where Jos heard him laughing with his comrade on +the bed. + +The gentleman from Bengal was standing, disconcerted +by this incident, when the door of the 92 opened of +itself and Becky's little head peeped out full of archness +and mischief. She lighted on Jos. "It's you," she said, +coming out. "How I have been waiting for you! Stop! +not yet--in one minute you shall come in." In that instant +she put a rouge-pot, a brandy bottle, and a plate of broken +meat into the bed, gave one smooth to her hair, and +finally let in her visitor. + +She had, by way of morning robe, a pink domino, a +trifle faded and soiled, and marked here and there with +pomaturn; but her arms shone out from the loose sleeves +of the dress very white and fair, and it was tied round +her little waist so as not ill to set off the trim little figure +of the wearer. She led Jos by the hand into her garret. +"Come in," she said. "Come and talk to me. Sit yonder +on the chair"; and she gave the civilian's hand a little +squeeze and laughingly placed him upon it. As for +herself, she placed herself on the bed--not on the bottle +and plate, you may be sure--on which Jos might have +reposed, had he chosen that seat; and so there she sat +and talked with her old admirer. + "How little years have changed you," she said with a +look of tender interest. "I should have known you +anywhere. What a comfort it is amongst strangers to see +once more the frank honest face of an old friend!" + +The frank honest face, to tell the truth, at this +moment bore any expression but one of openness and +honesty: it was, on the contrary, much perturbed and +puzzled in look. Jos was surveying the queer little apartment +in which he found his old flame. One of her gowns hung +over the bed, another depending from a hook of the door; +her bonnet obscured half the looking-glass, on which, +too, lay the prettiest little pair of bronze boots; a French +novel was on the table by the bedside, with a candle, not +of wax. Becky thought of popping that into the bed too, +but she only put in the little paper night-cap with which +she had put the candle out on going to sleep. + +"I should have known you anywhere," she continued; +"a woman never forgets some things. And you were the +first man I ever--I ever saw." + +"Was I really?" said Jos. "God bless my soul, you-- +you don't say so." + +"When I came with your sister from Chiswick, I was +scarcely more than a child," Becky said. "How is that, +dear love? Oh, her husband was a sad wicked man, and +of course it was of me that the poor dear was jealous. +As if I cared about him, heigho! when there was +somebody--but no--don't let us talk of old times"; and she +passed her handkerchief with the tattered lace across +her eyelids. + +"Is not this a strange place," she continued, "for a +woman, who has lived in a very different world too, to be +found in? I have had so many griefs and wrongs, Joseph +Sedley; I have been made to suffer so cruelly that I am +almost made mad sometimes. I can't stay still in any +place, but wander about always restless and unhappy. +All my friends have been false to me--all. There is no +such thing as an honest man in the world. I was the truest +wife that ever lived, though I married my husband out of +pique, because somebody else--but never mind that. I +was true, and he trampled upon me and deserted me. I +was the fondest mother. I had but one child, one darling, +one hope, one joy, which I held to my heart with a mother's +affection, which was my life, my prayer, my--my +blessing; and they--they tore it from me--tore it from +me"; and she put her hand to her heart with a passionate +gesture of despair, burying her face for a moment on the +bed. + +The brandy-bottle inside clinked up against the plate +which held the cold sausage. Both were moved, no doubt, +by the exhibition of so much grief. Max and Fritz were at +the door, listening with wonder to Mrs. Becky's sobs and +cries. Jos, too, was a good deal frightened and affected at +seeing his old flame in this condition. And she began, +forthwith, to tell her story--a tale so neat, simple, and +artless that it was quite evident from hearing her that if +ever there was a white-robed angel escaped from heaven +to be subject to the infernal machinations and villainy of +fiends here below, that spotless being--that miserable +unsullied martyr, was present on the bed before Jos--on +the bed, sitting on the brandy-bottle. + +They had a very long, amicable, and confidential talk +there, in the course of which Jos Sedley was somehow +made aware (but in a manner that did not in the least +scare or offend him) that Becky's heart had first learned +to beat at his enchanting presence; that George Osborne +had certainly paid an unjustifiable court to HER, which +might account for Amelia's jealousy and their little +rupture; but that Becky never gave the least encouragement +to the unfortunate officer, and that she had never ceased +to think about Jos from the very first day she had seen +him, though, of course, her duties as a married woman +were paramount--duties which she had always preserved, +and would, to her dying day, or until the proverbially bad +climate in which Colonel Crawley was living should +release her from a yoke which his cruelty had rendered +odious to her. + +Jos went away, convinced that she was the most virtuous, +as she was one of the most fascinating of women, +and revolving in his mind all sorts of benevolent schemes +for her welfare. Her persecutions ought to be ended: +she ought to return to the society of which she was an +ornament. He would see what ought to be done. She +must quit that place and take a quiet lodging. Amelia +must come and see her and befriend her. He would go +and settle about it, and consult with the Major. She wept +tears of heart-felt gratitude as she parted from him, and +pressed his hand as the gallant stout gentleman stooped +down to kiss hers. + +So Becky bowed Jos out of her little garret with as +much grace as if it was a palace of which she did the +honours; and that heavy gentleman having disappeared +down the stairs, Max and Fritz came out of their hole, +pipe in mouth, and she amused herself by mimicking Jos +to them as she munched her cold bread and sausage and +took draughts of her favourite brandy-and-water. + +Jos walked over to Dobbin's lodgings with great +solemnity and there imparted to him the affecting history +with which he had just been made acquainted, without, +however, mentioning the play business of the night before. +And the two gentlemen were laying their heads together +and consulting as to the best means of being useful to +Mrs. Becky, while she was finishing her interrupted +dejeuner a la fourchette. + +How was it that she had come to that little town? +How was it that she had no friends and was wandering +about alone? Little boys at school are taught in their +earliest Latin book that the path of Avernus is very easy +of descent. Let us skip over the interval in the history of +her downward progress. She was not worse now than she +had been in the days of her prosperity--only a little +down on her luck. + +As for Mrs. Amelia, she was a woman of such a soft +and foolish disposition that when she heard of anybody +unhappy, her heart straightway melted towards the +sufferer; and as she had never thought or done anything +mortally guilty herself, she had not that abhorrence for +wickedness which distinguishes moralists much more +knowing. If she spoiled everybody who came near her +with kindness and compliments--if she begged pardon +of all her servants for troubling them to answer the bell +--if she apologized to a shopboy who showed her a piece +of silk, or made a curtsey to a street-sweeper with a +complimentary remark upon the elegant state of his crossing +--and she was almost capable of every one of these +follies--the notion that an old acquaintance was miserable +was sure to soften her heart; nor would she hear of +anybody's being deservedly unhappy. A world under such +legislation as hers would not be a very orderly place of +abode; but there are not many women, at least not of the +rulers, who are of her sort. This lady, I believe, would +have abolished all gaols, punishments, handcuffs, +whippings, poverty, sickness, hunger, in the world, and was +such a mean-spirited creature that--we are obliged to +confess it--she could even forget a mortal injury. + +When the Major heard from Jos of the sentimental +adventure which had just befallen the latter, he was not, +it must be owned, nearly as much interested as the +gentleman from Bengal. On the contrary, his excitement was +quite the reverse from a pleasurable one; he made use of +a brief but improper expression regarding a poor woman +in distress, saying, in fact, "The little minx, has she +come to light again?" He never had had the slightest liking +for her, but had heartily mistrusted her from the very +first moment when her green eyes had looked at, and +turned away from, his own. + +"That little devil brings mischief wherever she goes," +the Major said disrespectfully. "Who knows what sort of +life she has been leading? And what business has she +here abroad and alone? Don't tell me about persecutors +and enemies; an honest woman always has friends and +never is separated from her family. Why has she left her +husband? He may have been disreputable and wicked, as +you say. He always was. I remember the confounded +blackleg and the way in which he used to cheat and +hoodwink poor George. Wasn't there a scandal about their +separation? I think I heard something," cried out Major +Dobbin, who did not care much about gossip, and whom +Jos tried in vain to convince that Mrs. Becky was in all +respects a most injured and virtuous female. + +"Well, well; let's ask Mrs. George," said that arch- +diplomatist of a Major. "Only let us go and consult her. +I suppose you will allow that she is a good judge at any +rate, and knows what is right in such matters." + +"Hm! Emmy is very well," said Jos, who did not +happen to be in love with his sister. + +"Very well? By Gad, sir, she's the finest lady I ever +met in my life," bounced out the Major. "I say at once, +let us go and ask her if this woman ought to be visited +or not--I will be content with her verdict." Now this +odious, artful rogue of a Major was thinking in his own +mind that he was sure of his case. Emmy, he remembered, +was at one time cruelly and deservedly jealous of +Rebecca, never mentioned her name but with a shrinking +and terror--a jealous woman never forgives, thought +Dobbin: and so the pair went across the street to Mrs. +George's house, where she was contentedly warbling at +a music lesson with Madame Strumpff. + +When that lady took her leave, Jos opened the business +with his usual pomp of words. "Amelia, my dear," +said he, "I have just had the most extraordinary--yes-- +God bless my soul! the most extraordinary adventure-- +an old friend--yes, a most interesting old friend of +yours, and I may say in old times, has just arrived here, +and I should like you to see her." + +"Her!" said Amelia, "who is it? Major Dobbin, if you +please not to break my scissors." The Major was twirling +them round by the little chain from which they sometimes +hung to their lady's waist, and was thereby endangering +his own eye. + +It is a woman whom I dislike very much," said the +Major, doggedly, "and whom you have no cause to love." + +"It is Rebecca, I'm sure it is Rebecca," Amelia said, +blushing and being very much agitated. + +"You are right; you always are," Dobbin answered. +Brussels, Waterloo, old, old times, griefs, pangs, +remembrances, rushed back into Amelia's gentle +heart and caused a cruel agitation there. + +"Don't let me see her," Emmy continued. "I couldn't +see her." + +"I told you so," Dobbin said to Jos. + +"She is very unhappy, and--and that sort of thing," +Jos urged. "She is very poor and unprotected, and has +been ill--exceedingly ill--and that scoundrel of a +husband has deserted her." + +"Ah!" said Amelia + +"She hasn't a friend in the world," Jos went on, not +undexterously, "and she said she thought she might trust in +you. She's so miserable, Emmy. She has been almost mad +with grief. Her story quite affected me--'pon my word +and honour, it did--never was such a cruel persecution +borne so angelically, I may say. Her family has been +most cruel to her." + +"Poor creature!" Amelia said. + +"And if she can get no friend, she says she thinks she'll +die," Jos proceeded in a low tremulous voice. "God bless +my soul! do you know that she tried to kill herself? She +carries laudanum with her--I saw the bottle in her room +--such a miserable little room--at a third-rate house, +the Elephant, up in the roof at the top of all. I went +there." + +This did not seem to affect Emmy. She even smiled a +little. Perhaps she figured Jos to herself panting up the +stair. + +"She's beside herself with grief," he resumed. "The +agonies that woman has endured are quite frightful to +hear of. She had a little boy, of the same age as Georgy." + +"Yes, yes, I think I remember," Emmy remarked. +"Well?" + +"The most beautiful child ever seen," Jos said, who +was very fat, and easily moved, and had been touched by +the story Becky told; "a perfect angel, who adored his +mother. The ruffians tore him shrieking out of her arms, +and have never allowed him to see her." + +"Dear Joseph," Emmy cried out, starting up at once, +"let us go and see her this minute." And she ran into her +adjoining bedchamber, tied on her bonnet in a flutter, +came out with her shawl on her arm, and ordered +Dobbin to follow. + +He went and put her shawl--it was a white cashmere, +consigned to her by the Major himself from India--over +her shoulders. He saw there was nothing for it but to +obey, and she put her hand into his arm, and they went +away. + +"It is number 92, up four pair of stairs," Jos said, +perhaps not very willing to ascend the steps again; but he +placed himself in the window of his drawing-room, which +commands the place on which the Elephant stands, and +saw the pair marching through the market. + +It was as well that Becky saw them too from her garret, +for she and the two students were chattering and laughing +there; they had been joking about the appearance of +Becky's grandpapa--whose arrival and departure they +had witnessed--but she had time to dismiss them, and +have her little room clear before the landlord of the +Elephant, who knew that Mrs. Osborne was a great favourite +at the Serene Court, and respected her accordingly, led +the way up the stairs to the roof story, encouraging +Miladi and the Herr Major as they achieved the ascent. + +"Gracious lady, gracious lady!" said the landlord, +knocking at Becky's door; he had called her Madame the +day before, and was by no means courteous to her. + +"Who is it?" Becky said, putting out her head, and she +gave a little scream. There stood Emmy in a tremble, +and Dobbin, the tall Major, with his cane. + +He stood still watching, and very much interested at +the scene; but Emmy sprang forward with open arms +towards Rebecca, and forgave her at that moment, and +embraced her and kissed her with all her heart. Ah, poor +wretch, when was your lip pressed before by such pure +kisses? + + + +CHAPTER LXVI + + +Amantium Irae + +Frankness and kindness like Amelia's were likely to +touch even such a hardened little reprobate as Becky. She +returned Emmy's caresses and kind speeches with +something very like gratitude, and an emotion which, if it was +not lasting, for a moment was almost genuine. That was +a lucky stroke of hers about the child "torn from her +arms shrieking." It was by that harrowing misfortune +that Becky had won her friend back, and it was one of the +very first points, we may be certain, upon which our poor +simple little Emmy began to talk to her new-found +acquaintance. + +"And so they took your darling child from you?" our +simpleton cried out. "Oh, Rebecca, my poor dear suffering +friend, I know what it is to lose a boy, and to feel +for those who have lost one. But please Heaven yours +will be restored to you, as a merciful merciful Providence +has brought me back mine." + +"The child, my child? Oh, yes, my agonies were frightful," +Becky owned, not perhaps without a twinge of conscience. +It jarred upon her to be obliged to commence +instantly to tell lies in reply to so much confidence and +simplicity. But that is the misfortune of beginning with +this kind of forgery. When one fib becomes due as it +were, you must forge another to take up the old +acceptance; and so the stock of your lies in circulation +inevitably multiplies, and the danger of detection increases +every day. + +"My agonies," Becky continued, "were terrible (I hope +she won't sit down on the bottle) when they took him +away from me; I thought I should die; but I fortunately +had a brain fever, during which my doctor gave me up, +and--and I recovered, and--and here I am, poor and +friendless." + +"How old is he?" Emmy asked. + +"Eleven," said Becky. + +"Eleven!" cried the other. "Why, he was born the same +year with Georgy, who is--" + +"I know, I know," Becky cried out, who had in fact +quite forgotten all about little Rawdon's age. "Grief has +made me forget so many things, dearest Amelia. I am +very much changed: half-wild sometimes. He was eleven +when they took him away from me. Bless his sweet +face; I have never seen it again." + +"Was he fair or dark?" went on that absurd little +Emmy. "Show me his hair." + +Becky almost laughed at her simplicity. "Not to-day, +love--some other time, when my trunks arrive from +Leipzig, whence I came to this place--and a little drawing +of him, which I made in happy days." + +"Poor Becky, poor Becky!" said Emmy. "How thankful, +how thankful I ought to be"; (though I doubt whether +that practice of piety inculcated upon us by our +womankind in early youth, namely, to be thankful because +we are better off than somebody else, be a very rational +religious exercise) and then she began to think, as usual, +how her son was the handsomest, the best, and the +cleverest boy in the whole world. + +"You will see my Georgy," was the best thing Emmy +could think of to console Becky. If anything could make +her comfortable that would. + +And so the two women continued talking for an hour +or more, during which Becky had the opportunity of +giving her new friend a full and complete version of her +private history. She showed how her marriage with +Rawdon Crawley had always been viewed by the family with +feelings of the utmost hostility; how her sister-in-law +(an artful woman) had poisoned her husband's mind +against her; how he had formed odious connections, +which had estranged his affections from her: how she had +borne everything--poverty, neglect, coldness from the +being whom she most loved--and all for the sake of her +child; how, finally, and by the most flagrant outrage, she +had been driven into demanding a separation from her +husband, when the wretch did not scruple to ask that she +should sacrifice her own fair fame so that he might +procure advancement through the means of a very great and +powerful but unprincipled man--the Marquis of Steyne, +indeed. The atrocious monster! + +This part of her eventful history Becky gave with the +utmost feminine delicacy and the most indignant virtue. +Forced to fly her husband's roof by this insult, the coward +had pursued his revenge by taking her child from her. +And thus Becky said she was a wanderer, poor, +unprotected, friendless, and wretched. + +Emmy received this story, which was told at some +length, as those persons who are acquainted with her +character may imagine that she would. She quivered +with indignation at the account of the conduct of the +miserable Rawdon and the unprincipled Steyne. Her eyes +made notes of admiration for every one of the sentences +in which Becky described the persecutions of her +aristocratic relatives and the falling away of her husband. +(Becky did not abuse him. She spoke rather in sorrow +than in anger. She had loved him only too fondly: and +was he not the father of her boy?) And as for the separation +scene from the child, while Becky was reciting it, +Emmy retired altogether behind her pocket-handkerchief, +so that the consummate little tragedian must have been +charmed to see the effect which her performance +produced on her audience. + +Whilst the ladies were carrying on their conversation, +Amelia's constant escort, the Major (who, of course, +did not wish to interrupt their conference, and found +himself rather tired of creaking about the narrow stair +passage of which the roof brushed the nap from his hat) +descended to the ground-floor of the house and into the +great room common to all the frequenters of the Elephant, +out of which the stair led. This apartment is always +in a fume of smoke and liberally sprinkled with beer. On +a dirty table stand scores of corresponding brass +candlesticks with tallow candles for the lodgers, whose keys +hang up in rows.over the candles. Emmy had passed +blushing through the room anon, where all sorts of +people were collected; Tyrolese glove-sellers and Danubian +linen-merchants, with their packs; students recruiting +themselves with butterbrods and meat; idlers, playing +cards or dominoes on the sloppy, beery tables; tumblers +refreshing during the cessation of their performances-- +in a word, all the fumum and strepitus of a German inn +in fair time. The waiter brought the Major a mug of beer, +as a matter of course, and he took out a cigar and +amused himself with that pernicious vegetable and a +newspaper until his charge should come down to claim him. + +Max and Fritz came presently downstairs, their caps on +one side, their spurs jingling, their pipes splendid with +coats of arms and full-blown tassels, and they hung up the +key of No. 90 on the board and called for the ration of +butterbrod and beer. The pair sat down by the Major and +fell into a conversation of which he could not help hearing +somewhat. It was mainly about "Fuchs" and "Philister," +and duels and drinking-bouts at the neighbouring +University of Schoppenhausen, from which renowned +seat of learning they had just come in the Eilwagen, +with Becky, as it appeared, by their side, and in order +to be present at the bridal fetes at Pumpernickel. + +"The title Englanderinn seems to be en bays de +gonnoisance," said Max, who knew the French language, +to Fritz, his comrade. "After the fat grandfather went +away, there came a pretty little compatriot. I heard them +chattering and whimpering together in the little woman's +chamber." + +"We must take the tickets for her concert," Fritz said. +"Hast thou any money, Max?" + +"Bah," said the other, "the concert is a concert in +nubibus. Hans said that she advertised one at Leipzig, and +the Burschen took many tickets. But she went off without +singing. She said in the coach yesterday that her pianist +had fallen ill at Dresden. She cannot sing, it is my belief: +her voice is as cracked as thine, O thou beer-soaking +Renowner!" + +"It is cracked; I hear her trying out of her window a +schrecklich. English ballad, called 'De Rose upon de +Balgony.' " + +"Saufen and singen go not together," observed Fritz +with the red nose, who evidently preferred the former +amusement. "No, thou shalt take none of her tickets. +She won money at the trente and quarante last night. I +saw her: she made a little English boy play for her. We +will spend thy money there or at the theatre, or we will +treat her to French wine or Cognac in the Aurelius +Garden, but the tickets we will not buy. What sayest +thou? Yet, another mug of beer?" and one and another +successively having buried their blond whiskers in the +mawkish draught, curled them and swaggered off into +the fair. + +The Major, who had seen the key of No. 90 put up +on its hook and had heard the conversation of the two +young University bloods, was not at a loss to +understand that their talk related to Becky. "The little devil +is at her old tricks," he thought, and he smiled as he +recalled old days, when he had witnessed the desperate +flirtation with Jos and the ludicrous end of that adventure. +He and George had often laughed over it subsequently, +and until a few weeks after George's marriage, +when he also was caught in the little Circe's toils, and +had an understanding with her which his comrade +certainly suspected, but preferred to ignore. William was +too much hurt or ashamed to ask to fathom that +disgraceful mystery, although once, and evidently with +remorse on his mind, George had alluded to it. It was on +the morning of Waterloo, as the young men stood +together in front of their line, surveying the black masses of +Frenchmen who crowned the opposite heights, and as the +rain was coming down, "I have been mixing in a foolish +intrigue with a woman," George said. "I am glad we were +marched away. If I drop, I hope Emmy will never know +of that business. I wish to God it had never been +begun!" And William was pleased to think, and had more +than once soothed poor George's widow with the +narrative, that Osborne, after quitting his wife, and after +the action of Quatre Bras, on the first day, spoke gravely +and affectionately to his comrade of his father and his +wife. On these facts, too, William had insisted very +strongly in his conversations with the elder Osborne, +and had thus been the means of reconciling the old +gentleman to his son's memory, just at the close of the +elder man's life. + +"And so this devil is still going on with her intrigues," +thought William. "I wish she were a hundred miles from +here. She brings mischief wherever she goes." And he +was pursuing these forebodings and this uncomfortable +train of thought, with his head between his hands, and +the Pumpernickel Gazette of last week unread under his +nose, when somebody tapped his shoulder with a parasol, +and he looked up and saw Mrs. Amelia. + +This woman had a way of tyrannizing over Major +Dobbin (for the weakest of all people will domineer +over somebody), and she ordered him about, and patted +him, and made him fetch and carry just as if he was a +great Newfoundland dog. He liked, so to speak, to jump +into the water if she said "High, Dobbin!" and to trot +behind her with her reticule in his mouth. This history +has been written to very little purpose if the reader has +not perceived that the Major was a spooney. + +"Why did you not wait for me, sir, to escort me +downstairs?" she said, giving a little toss of her head +and a most sarcastic curtsey. + +"I couldn't stand up in the passage," he answered with +a comical deprecatory look; and, delighted to give her his +arm and to take her out of the horrid smoky place, he +would have walked off without even so much as +remembering the waiter, had not the young fellow run after +him and stopped him on the threshold of the Elephant +to make him pay for the beer which he had not +consumed. Emmy laughed: she called him a naughty man, +who wanted to run away in debt, and, in fact, made +some jokes suitable to the occasion and the small-beer. +She was in high spirits and good humour, and tripped +across the market-place very briskly. She wanted to see +Jos that instant. The Major laughed at the impetuous +affection Mrs. Amelia exhibited; for, in truth, it was not +very often that she wanted her brother "that instant." + +They found the civilian in his saloon on the first-floor; +he had been pacing the room, and biting his nails, and +looking over the market-place towards the Elephant a +hundred times at least during the past hour whilst Emmy +was closeted with her friend in the garret and the Major +was beating the tattoo on the sloppy tables of the public +room below, and he was, on his side too, very anxious to +see Mrs. Osborne. + +"Well?" said he. + +"The poor dear creature, how she has suffered!" +Emmy said. + +"God bless my soul, yes," Jos said, wagging his head, +so that his cheeks quivered like jellies. + +"She may have Payne's room, who can go upstairs," +Emmy continued. Payne was a staid English maid and +personal attendant upon Mrs. Osborne, to whom the +courier, as in duty bound, paid court, and whom Georgy +used to "lark" dreadfully with accounts of German +robbers and ghosts. She passed her time chiefly in grumbling, +in ordering about her mistress, and in stating her intention +to return the next morning to her native village of +Clapham. "She may have Payne's room," Emmy said. + +"Why, you don't mean to say you are going to have +that woman into the house?" bounced out the Major, +jumping up. + +"Of course we are," said Amelia in the most innocent +way in the world. "Don't be angry and break the +furniture, Major Dobbin. Of course we are going to have her +here." + +"Of course, my dear," Jos said. + +"The poor creature, after all her sufferings," Emmy +continued; "her horrid banker broken and run away; her +husband--wicked wretch--having deserted her and taken +her child away from her" (here she doubled her two +little fists and held them in a most menacing attitude +before her, so that the Major was charmed to see +such a dauntless virago) "the poor dear thing! quite alone +and absolutely forced to give lessons in singing to get her +bread--and not have her here!" + +"Take lessons, my dear Mrs. George," cried the Major, +"but don't have her in the house. I implore you don't." + +"Pooh," said Jos. + +"You who are always good and kind--always used to +be at any rate--I'm astonished at you, Major William," +Amelia cried. "Why, what is the moment to help her but +when she is so miserable? Now is the time to be of +service to her. The oldest friend I ever had, and not--" + +"She was not always your friend, Amelia," the Major +said, for he was quite angry. This allusion was too much +for Emmy, who, looking the Major almost fiercely in the +face, said, "For shame, Major Dobbin!" and after having +fired this shot, she walked out of the room with a most +majestic air and shut her own door briskly on herself +and her outraged dignity. + +"To allude to THAT!" she said, when the door was +closed. "Oh, it was cruel of him to remind me of it," and +she looked up at George's picture, which hung there as +usual, with the portrait of the boy underneath. "It was +cruel of him. If I had forgiven it, ought he to have +spoken? No. And it is from his own lips that I know how +wicked and groundless my jealousy was; and that you +were pure--oh, yes, you were pure, my saint in +heaven!" + +She paced the room, trembling and indignant. She went +and leaned on the chest of drawers over which the picture +hung, and gazed and gazed at it. Its eyes seemed to look +down on her with a reproach that deepened as she looked. +The early dear, dear memories of that brief prime of love +rushed back upon her. The wound which years had +scarcely cicatrized bled afresh, and oh, how bitterly! She +could not bear the reproaches of the husband there +before her. It couldn't be. Never, never. + +Poor Dobbin; poor old William! That unlucky word +had undone the work of many a year--the long laborious +edifice of a life of love and constancy--raised too upon +what secret and hidden foundations, wherein lay buried +passions, uncounted struggles, unknown sacrifices--a +little word was spoken, and down fell the fair palace of +hope--one word, and away flew the bird which he had +been trying all his life to lure! + +William, though he saw by Amelia's looks that a great +crisis had come, nevertheless continued to implore Sedley, +in the most energetic terms, to beware of Rebecca; and he +eagerly, almost frantically, adjured Jos not to receive +her. He besought Mr. Sedley to inquire at least regarding +her; told him how he had heard that she was in the +company of gamblers and people of ill repute; pointed +out what evil she had done in former days, how she +and Crawley had misled poor George into ruin, how she +was now parted from her husband, by her own confession, +and, perhaps, for good reason. What a dangerous +companion she would be for his sister, who knew nothing +of the affairs of the world! William implored Jos, with +all the eloquence which he could bring to bear, and a +great deal more energy than this quiet gentleman was +ordinarily in the habit of showing, to keep Rebecca out +of his household. + +Had he been less violent, or more dexterous, he might +have succeeded in his supplications to Jos; but the civilian +was not a little jealous of the airs of superiority +which the Major constantly exhibited towards him, as +he fancied (indeed, he had imparted his opinions to Mr. +Kirsch, the courier, whose bills Major Dobbin checked on +this journey, and who sided with his master), and he +began a blustering speech about his competency to +defend his own honour, his desire not to have his affairs +meddled with, his intention, in fine, to rebel against the +Major, when the colloquy--rather a long and stormy one +--was put an end to in the simplest way possible, namely, +by the arrival of Mrs. Becky, with a porter from +the Elephant Hotel in charge of her very meagre baggage. + +She greeted her host with affectionate respect and +made a shrinking, but amicable salutation to Major +Dobbin, who, as her instinct assured her at once, was +her enemy, and had been speaking against her; and the +bustle and clatter consequent upon her arrival brought +Amelia out of her room. Emmy went up and embraced +her guest with the greatest warmth, and took no notice +of the Major, except to fling him an angry look--the +most unjust and scornful glance that had perhaps ever +appeared in that poor little woman's face since she was +born. But she had private reasons of her own, and was +bent upon being angry with him. And Dobbin, indignant +at the injustice, not at the defeat, went off, making her a +bow quite as haughty as the killing curtsey with which +the little woman chose to bid him farewell. + +He being gone, Emmy was particularly lively and +affectionate to Rebecca, and bustled about the apartments +and installed her guest in her room with an eagerness and +activity seldom exhibited by our placid little friend. But +when an act of injustice is to be done, especially by +weak people, it is best that it should be done quickly, +and Emmy thought she was displaying a great deal of +firmness and proper feeling and veneration for the late +Captain Osborne in her present behaviour. + +Georgy came in from the fetes for dinner-time and +found four covers laid as usual; but one of the places +was occupied by a lady, instead of by Major Dobbin. +"Hullo! where's Dob?" the young gentleman asked with +his usual simplicity of language. "Major Dobbin is dining +out, I suppose," his mother said, and, drawing the boy +to her, kissed him a great deal, and put his hair off his +forehead, and introduced him to Mrs. Crawley. "This +is my boy, Rebecca," Mrs. Osborne said--as much as to +say--can the world produce anything like that? Becky +looked at him with rapture and pressed his hand fondly. +"Dear boy!" she said--"he is just like my--" Emotion +choked her further utterance, but Amelia understood, as +well as if she had spoken, that Becky was thinking of her +own blessed child. However, the company of her friend +consoled Mrs. Crawley, and she ate a very good dinner. + +During the repast, she had occasion to speak several +times, when Georgy eyed her and listened to her. At the +desert Emmy was gone out to superintend further +domestic arrangements; Jos was in his great chair dozing +over Galignani; Georgy and the new arrival sat close to +each other--he had continued to look at her knowingly +more than once, and at last he laid down the +nutcrackers. + +"I say," said Georgy. + +"What do you say?" Becky said, laughing. + +"You're the lady I saw in the mask at the Rouge et +Noir." + +"Hush! you little sly creature," Becky said, taking +up his hand and kissing it. "Your uncle was there too, +and Mamma mustn't know." + +"Oh, no--not by no means," answered the little fellow. + +"You see we are quite good friends already," Becky +said to Emmy, who now re-entered; and it must be owned +that Mrs. Osborne had introduced a most judicious and +amiable companion into her house. + +William, in a state of great indignation, though still +unaware of all the treason that was in store for him, walked +about the town wildly until he fell upon the Secretary of +Legation, Tapeworm, who invited him to dinner. As they +were discussing that meal, he took occasion to ask the +Secretary whether he knew anything about a certain +Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who had, he believed, made +some noise in London; and then Tapeworm, who of +course knew all the London gossip, and was besides a +relative of Lady Gaunt, poured out into the astonished +Major's ears such a history about Becky and her husband +as astonished the querist, and supplied all the points of +this narrative, for it was at that very table years ago +that the present writer had the pleasure of hearing the +tale. Tufto, Steyne, the Crawleys, and their history-- +everything connected with Becky and her previous life +passed under the record of the bitter diplomatist. He knew +everything and a great deal besides, about all the world +--in a word, he made the most astounding revelations to +the simple-hearted Major. When Dobbin said that Mrs. +Osborne and Mr. Sedley had taken her into their house, +Tapeworm burst into a peal of laughter which shocked +the Major, and asked if they had not better send into the +prison and take in one or two of the gentlemen in shaved +heads and yellow jackets who swept the streets of +Pumpernickel, chained in pairs, to board and lodge, and act +as tutor to that little scapegrace Georgy. + +This information astonished and horrified the Major not +a little. It had been agreed in the morning (before meeting +with Rebecca) that Amelia should go to the Court +ball that night. There would be the place where he should +tell her. The Major went home, and dressed himself in his +uniform, and repaired to Court, in hopes to see Mrs. +Osborne. She never came. When he returned to his +lodgings all the lights in the Sedley tenement were put +out. He could not see her till the morning. I don't know +what sort of a night's rest he had with this frightful +secret in bed with him. + +At the earliest convenient hour in the morning he sent +his servant across the way with a note, saying that he +wished very particularly to speak with her. A message +came back to say that Mrs. Osborne was exceedingly +unwell and was keeping her room. + +She, too, had been awake all that night. She had been +thinking of a thing which had agitated her mind a +hundred times before. A hundred times on the point of yielding, +she had shrunk back from a sacrifice which she felt +was too much for her. She couldn't, in spite of his love +and constancy and her own acknowledged regard, +respect, and gratitude. What are benefits, what is +constancy, or merit? One curl of a girl's ringlet, one hair of a +whisker, will turn the scale against them all in a minute. +They did not weigh with Emmy more than with other +women. She had tried them; wanted to make them pass; +could not; and the pitiless little woman had found a +pretext, and determined to be free. + +When at length, in the afternoon, the Major gained +admission to Amelia, instead of the cordial and +affectionate greeting, to which he had been accustomed now +for many a long day, he received the salutation of a +curtsey, and of a little gloved hand, retracted the moment +after it was accorded to him. + +Rebecca, too, was in the room, and advanced to meet +him with a smile and an extended hand. Dobbin drew +back rather confusedly, "I--I beg your pardon, m'am," +he said; "but I am bound to tell you that it is not as your +friend that I am come here now." + +"Pooh! damn; don't let us have this sort of thing!" +Jos cried out, alarmed, and anxious to get rid of a scene. + +"I wonder what Major Dobbin has to say against +Rebecca?" Amelia said in a low, clear voice with a slight +quiver in it, and a very determined look about the eyes. + +"I will not have this sort of thing in my house," Jos +again interposed. "I say I will not have it; and Dobbin, I +beg, sir, you'll stop it." And he looked round, trembling +and turning very red, and gave a great puff, and +made for his door. + +"Dear friend!" Rebecca said with angelic sweetness, +"do hear what Major Dobbin has to say against me." + +"I will not hear it, I say," squeaked out Jos at the +top of his voice, and, gathering up his dressing-gown, he +was gone. + +"We are only two women," Amelia said. "You can +speak now, sir." + +"This manner towards me is one which scarcely +becomes you, Amelia," the Major answered haughtily; "nor +I believe am I guilty of habitual harshness to women. It +is not a pleasure to me to do the duty which I am come +to do." + +"Pray proceed with it quickly, if you please, Major +Dobbin," said Amelia, who was more and more in a pet. The +expression of Dobbin's face, as she spoke in this +imperious manner, was not pleasant. + +"I came to say--and as you stay, Mrs. Crawley, I must +say it in your presence--that I think you--you ought +not to form a member of the family of my friends. A +lady who is separated from her husband, who travels not +under her own name, who frequents public gaming- +tables--" + +"It was to the ball I went," cried out Becky. + +"--is not a fit companion for Mrs. Osborne and her +son," Dobbin went on: "and I may add that there are +people here who know you, and who profess to know +that regarding your conduct about which I don't even +wish to speak before--before Mrs. Osborne." + +"Yours is a very modest and convenient sort of calumny, +Major Dobbin," Rebecca said. "You leave me under +the weight of an accusation which, after all, is unsaid. +What is it? Is it unfaithfulness to my husband? I scorn it +and defy anybody to prove it--I defy you, I say. My +honour is as untouched as that of the bitterest enemy +who ever maligned me. Is it of being poor, forsaken, +wretched, that you accuse me? Yes, I am guilty of those +faults, and punished for them every day. Let me go, +Emmy. It is only to suppose that I have not met you, +and I am no worse to-day than I was yesterday. It is +only to suppose that the night is over and the poor +wanderer is on her way. Don't you remember the song +we used to sing in old, dear old days? I have been +wandering ever since then--a poor castaway, scorned for +being miserable, and insulted because I am alone. Let me +go: my stay here interferes with the plans of this +gentleman." + +"Indeed it does, madam," said the Major. "If I have +any authority in this house--" + +"Authority, none!" broke out Amelia "Rebecca, +you stay with me. I won't desert you because you have +been persecuted, or insult you because--because Major +Dobbin chooses to do so. Come away, dear." And the +two women made towards the door. + +William opened it. As they were going out, however, he +took Amelia's hand and said--"Will you stay a moment +and speak to me?" + +"He wishes to speak to you away from me," said +Becky, looking like a martyr. Amelia gripped her hand in +reply. + +"Upon my honour it is not about you that I am going +to speak," Dobbin said. "Come back, Amelia," and she +came. Dobbin bowed to Mrs. Crawley, as he shut the +door upon her. Amelia looked at him, leaning against the +glass: her face and her lips were quite white. + +"I was confused when I spoke just now," the Major +said after a pause, "and I misused the word authority." + +"You did," said Amelia with her teeth chattering. + +"At least I have claims to be heard," Dobbin +continued. + +"It is generous to remind me of our obligations to you," +the woman answered. + +"The claims I mean are those left me by George's +father," William said. + +"Yes, and you insulted his memory. You did yesterday. +You know you did. And I will never forgive you. Never!" +said Amelia. She shot out each little sentence in a tremor +of anger and emotion. + +"You don't mean that, Amelia?" William said sadly. +"You don't mean that these words, uttered in a hurried +moment, are to weigh against a whole life's devotion? I +think that George's memory has not been injured by the +way in which I have dealt with it, and if we are come to +bandying reproaches, I at least merit none from his +widow and the mother of his son. Reflect, afterwards when +--when you are at leisure, and your conscience will +withdraw this accusation. It does even now." Amelia held +down her head. + +"It is not that speech of yesterday," he continued, +"which moves you. That is but the pretext, Amelia, or I +have loved you and watched you for fifteen years in vain. +Have I not learned in that time to read all your feelings +and look into your thoughts? I know what your heart +is capable of: it can cling faithfully to a recollection and +cherish a fancy, but it can't feel such an attachment as +mine deserves to mate with, and such as I would have +won from a woman more generous than you. No, you +are not worthy of the love which I have devoted to you. +I knew all along that the prize I had set my life on was +not worth the winning; that I was a fool, with fond +fancies, too, bartering away my all of truth and ardour +against your little feeble remnant of love. I will bargain +no more: I withdraw. I find no fault with you. You are +very good-natured, and have done your best, but you +couldn't--you couldn't reach up to the height of the +attachment which I bore you, and which a loftier soul than +yours might have been proud to share. Good-bye, Amelia! +I have watched your struggle. Let it end. We are both +weary of it." + +Amelia stood scared and silent as William thus +suddenly broke the chain by which she held him and +declared his independence and superiority. He had placed +himself at her feet so long that the poor little woman +had been accustomed to trample upon him. She didn't +wish to marry him, but she wished to keep him. She +wished to give him nothing, but that he should give her +all. It is a bargain not unfrequently levied in love. + +William's sally had quite broken and cast her down. +HER assault was long since over and beaten back. + +"Am I to understand then, that you are going--away, +William?" she said. + +He gave a sad laugh. "I went once before," he said, +"and came back after twelve years. We were young then, +Amelia. Good-bye. I have spent enough of my life at this +play." + +Whilst they had been talking, the door into Mrs. Osborne's +room had opened ever so little; indeed, Becky +had kept a hold of the handle and had turned it on the +instant when Dobbin quitted it, and she heard every word +of the conversation that had passed between these two. +"What a noble heart that man has," she thought, and +how shamefully that woman plays with it!" She admired +Dobbin; she bore him no rancour for the part he had +taken against her. It was an open move in the game, +and played fairly. "Ah!" she thought, "if I could have had +such a husband as that--a man with a heart and brains +too! I would not have minded his large feet"; and running +into her room, she absolutely bethought herself of +something, and wrote him a note, beseeching him to stop for a +few days--not to think of going--and that she could +serve him with A. + +The parting was over. Once more poor William walked +to the door and was gone; and the little widow, the +author of all this work, had her will, and had won her +victory, and was left to enjoy it as she best might. Let +the ladies envy her triumph. + +At the romantic hour of dinner, Mr. Georgy made his +appearance and again remarked the absence of "Old +Dob." The meal was eaten in silence by the party. Jos's +appetite not being diminished, but Emmy taking +nothing at all. + +After the meal, Georgy was lolling in the cushions of +the old window, a large window, with three sides of glass +abutting from the gable, and commanding on one side +the market-place, where the Elephant is, his mother being +busy hard by, when he remarked symptoms of +movement at the Major's house on the other side of the street. + +"Hullo!" said he, "there's Dob's trap--they are bringing +it out of the court-yard." The "trap" in question +was a carriage which the Major had bought for six pounds +sterling, and about which they used to rally him a good +deal. + +Emmy gave a little start, but said nothing. + +"Hullo!" Georgy continued, "there's Francis coming out +with the portmanteaus, and Kunz, the one-eyed +postilion, coming down the market with three schimmels. +Look at his boots and yellow jacket--ain't he a rum +one? Why--they're putting the horses to Dob's carriage. +Is he going anywhere?" + +"Yes," said Emmy, "he is going on a journey." + +"Going on a journey; and when is he coming back?" + +"He is--not coming back," answered Emmy. + +"Not coming back!" cried out Georgy, jumping up. +"Stay here, sir," roared out Jos. "Stay, Georgy," said his +mother with a very sad face. The boy stopped, kicked +about the room, jumped up and down from the window- +seat with his knees, and showed every symptom of +uneasiness and curiosity. + +The horses were put to. The baggage was strapped +on. Francis came out with his master's sword, cane, +and umbrella tied up together, and laid them in the +well, and his desk and old tin cocked-hat case, which +he placed under the seat. Francis brought out the +stained old blue cloak lined with red camlet, which had +wrapped the owner up any time these fifteen years, and +had manchen Sturm erlebt, as a favourite song of those +days said. It had been new for the campaign of Waterloo +and had covered George and William after the night +of Quatre Bras. + +Old Burcke, the landlord of the lodgings, came out, +then Francis, with more packages--final packages--then +Major William--Burcke wanted to kiss him. The Major +was adored by all people with whom he had to do. It +was with difficulty he could escape from this +demonstration of attachment. + +"By Jove, I will go!" screamed out George. "Give him +this," said Becky, quite interested, and put a paper into +the boy's hand. He had rushed down the stairs and flung +across the street in a minute--the yellow postilion was +cracking his whip gently. + +William had got into the carriage, released from the +embraces of his landlord. George bounded in afterwards, +and flung his arms round the Major's neck (as they saw +from the window), and began asking him multiplied +questions. Then he felt in his waistcoat pocket and gave him +a note. William seized at it rather eagerly, he opened it +trembling, but instantly his countenance changed, and +he tore the paper in two and dropped it out of the +carriage. He kissed Georgy on the head, and the boy got +out, doubling his fists into his eyes, and with the aid of +Francis. He lingered with his hand on the panel. Fort, +Schwager! The yellow postilion cracked his whip +prodigiously, up sprang Francis to the box, away went the +schimmels, and Dobbin with his head on his breast. He +never looked up as they passed under Amelia's window, +and Georgy, left alone in the street, burst out crying +in the face of all the crowd. + +Emmy's maid heard him howling again during the +night and brought him some preserved apricots to +console him. She mingled her lamentations with his. All the +poor, all the humble, all honest folks, all good men who +knew him, loved that kind-hearted and simple gentleman. + +As for Emmy, had she not done her duty? She had her +picture of George for a consolation. + + + + +CHAPTER LXVII + + +Which Contains Births, Marriages, and Deaths + +Whatever Becky's private plan might be by which +Dobbin's true love was to be crowned with success, the +little woman thought that the secret might keep, and +indeed, being by no means so much interested about +anybody's welfare as about her own, she had a great +number of things pertaining to herself to consider, and +which concerned her a great deal more than Major +Dobbin's happiness in this life. + +She found herself suddenly and unexpectedly in snug +comfortable quarters, surrounded by friends, kindness, +and good-natured simple people such as she had not met +with for many a long day; and, wanderer as she was by +force and inclination, there were moments when rest +was pleasant to her. As the most hardened Arab that +ever careered across the desert over the hump of a +dromedary likes to repose sometimes under the date- +trees by the water, or to come into the cities, walk into +the bazaars, refresh himself in the baths, and say his +prayers in the mosques, before he goes out again +marauding, so Jos's tents and pilau were pleasant to this +little Ishmaelite. She picketed her steed, hung up her +weapons, and warmed herself comfortably by his fire. The +halt in that roving, restless life was inexpressibly soothing +and pleasant to her. + +So, pleased herself, she tried with all her might to +please everybody; and we know that she was eminent +and successful as a practitioner in the art of giving +pleasure. As for Jos, even in that little interview in the +garret at the Elephant Inn, she had found means to win +back a great deal of his good-will. In the course of a +week, the civilian was her sworn slave and frantic +admirer. He didn't go to sleep after dinner, as his +custom was in the much less lively society of Amelia. He +drove out with Becky in his open carriage. He asked little +parties and invented festivities to do her honour. + +Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, who had abused her +so cruelly, came to dine with Jos, and then came every +day to pay his respects to Becky. Poor Emmy, who was +never very talkative, and more glum and silent than ever +after Dobbin's departure, was quite forgotten when this +superior genius made her appearance. The French +Minister was as much charmed with her as his English rival. +The German ladies, never particularly squeamish as +regards morals, especially in English people, were delighted +with the cleverness and wit of Mrs. Osborne's charming +friend, and though she did not ask to go to Court, +yet the most august and Transparent Personages there +heard of her fascinations and were quite curious to know +her. When it became known that she was noble, of an +ancient English family, that her husband was a Colonel +of the Guard, Excellenz and Governor of an island, only +separated from his lady by one of those trifling differences +which are of little account in a country where +Werther is still read and the Wahlverwandtschaften of +Goethe is considered an edifying moral book, nobody +thought of refusing to receive her in the very highest +society of the little Duchy; and the ladies were even more +ready to call her du and to swear eternal friendship for +her than they had been to bestow the same inestimable +benefits upon Amelia. Love and Liberty are interpreted +by those simple Germans in a way which honest folks in +Yorkshire and Somersetshire little understand, and a lady +might, in some philosophic and civilized towns, be +divorced ever so many times from her respective husbands +and keep her character in society. Jos's house never was +so pleasant since he had a house of his own as Rebecca +caused it to be. She sang, she played, she laughed, she +talked in two or three languages, she brought everybody +to the house, and she made Jos believe that it was his +own great social talents and wit which gathered the +society of the place round about him. + +As for Emmy, who found herself not in the least +mistress of her own house, except when the bills were +to be paid, Becky soon discovered the way to soothe and +please her. She talked to her perpetually about Major +Dobbin sent about his business, and made no scruple +of declaring her admiration for that excellent, high- +minded gentleman, and of telling Emmy that she had +behaved most cruelly regarding him. Emmy defended her +conduct and showed that it was dictated only by the +purest religious principles; that a woman once, &c., and to +such an angel as him whom she had had the good +fortune to marry, was married forever; but she had no +objection to hear the Major praised as much as ever +Becky chose to praise him, and indeed, brought the +conversation round to the Dobbin subject a score of times +every day. + +Means were easily found to win the favour of Georgy +and the servants. Amelia's maid, it has been said, was +heart and soul in favour of the generous Major. Having at +first disliked Becky for being the means of dismissing +him from the presence of her mistress, she was reconciled +to Mrs. Crawley subsequently, because the latter +became William's most ardent admirer and champion. And +in those nightly conclaves in which the two ladies +indulged after their parties, and while Miss Payne was +"brushing their 'airs," as she called the yellow locks of +the one and the soft brown tresses of the other, this +girl always put in her word for that dear good gentleman +Major Dobbin. Her advocacy did not make Amelia +angry any more than Rebecca's admiration of him. She +made George write to him constantly and persisted in +sending Mamma's kind love in a postscript. And as she +looked at her husband's portrait of nights, it no longer +reproached her--perhaps she reproached it, now +William was gone. + +Emmy was not very happy after her heroic sacrifice. +She was very distraite, nervous, silent, and ill to please. +The family had never known her so peevish. She grew +pale and ill. She used to try to sing certain songs +("Einsam bin ich nicht alleine," was one of them, that tender +love-song of Weber's which~ in old-fashioned days, +young ladies, and when you were scarcely born, showed +that those who lived before you knew too how to love +and to sing) certain songs, I say, to which the Major +was partial; and as she warbled them in the twilight in the +drawing-room, she would break off in the midst of the +song, and walk into her neighbouring apartment, and +there, no doubt, take refuge in the miniature of her +husband. + +Some books still subsisted, after Dobbin's departure, +with his name written in them; a German dictionary, for +instance, with "William Dobbin, --th Reg.," in the fly-leaf; +a guide-book with his initials; and one or two other +volumes which belonged to the Major. Emmy cleared these +away and put them on the drawers, where she placed her +work-box, her desk, her Bible, and prayer-book, under +the pictures of the two Georges. And the Major, on going +away, having left his gloves behind him, it is a fact that +Georgy, rummaging his mother's desk some time +afterwards, found the gloves neatly folded up and put away in +what they call the secret-drawers of the desk. + +Not caring for society, and moping there a great deal, +Emmy's chief pleasure in the summer evenings was to +take long walks with Georgy (during which Rebecca +was left to the society of Mr. Joseph), and then the +mother and son used to talk about the Major in a way +which even made the boy smile. She told him that she +thought Major William was the best man in all the world +--the gentlest and the kindest, the bravest and the +humblest. Over and over again she told him how they owed +everything which they possessed in the world to that +kind friend's benevolent care of them; how he had +befriended them all through their poverty and misfortunes; +watched over them when nobody cared for them; how all +his comrades admired him though he never spoke of his +own gallant actions; how Georgy's father trusted him +beyond all other men, and had been constantly befriended +by the good William. "Why, when your papa was a little +boy," she said, "he often told me that it was William +who defended him against a tyrant at the school where +they were; and their friendship never ceased from that +day until the last, when your dear father fell." + +"Did Dobbin kill the man who killed Papa?" Georgy +said. "I'm sure he did, or he would if he could have +caught him, wouldn't he, Mother? When I'm in the Army, +won't I hate the French?--that's all." + +In such colloquies the mother and the child passed a +great deal of their time together. The artless woman had +made a confidant of the boy. He was as much William's +friend as everybody else who knew him well. + +By the way, Mrs. Becky, not to be behind hand in +sentiment, had got a miniature too hanging up in her +room, to the surprise and amusement of most people, +and the delight of the original, who was no other than +our friend Jos. On her first coming to favour the Sedleys +with a visit, the little woman, who had arrived with a +remarkably small shabby kit, was perhaps ashamed of the +meanness of her trunks and bandboxes, and often spoke +with great respect about her baggage left behind at +Leipzig, which she must have from that city. When a traveller +talks to you perpetually about the splendour of his +luggage, which he does not happen to have with him, my +son, beware of that traveller! He is, ten to one, an +impostor. + +Neither Jos nor Emmy knew this important maxim. It +seemed to them of no consequence whether Becky had a +quantity of very fine clothes in invisible trunks; but +as her present supply was exceedingly shabby, Emmy +supplied her out of her own stores, or took her to the +best milliner in the town and there fitted her out. It was +no more torn collars now, I promise you, and faded silks +trailing off at the shoulder. Becky changed her habits +with her situation in life--the rouge-pot was suspended +--another excitement to which she had accustomed +herself was also put aside, or at least only indulged in in +privacy, as when she was prevailed on by Jos of a +summer evening, Emmy and the boy being absent on their +walks, to take a little spirit-and-water. But if she did not +indulge--the courier did: that rascal Kirsch could not +be kept from the bottle, nor could he tell how much +he took when he applied to it. He was sometimes +surprised himself at the way in which Mr. Sedley's Cognac +diminished. Well, well, this is a painful subject. Becky +did not very likely indulge so much as she used before +she entered a decorous family. + +At last the much-bragged-about boxes arrived from +Leipzig; three of them not by any means large or splendid; +nor did Becky appear to take out any sort of dresses +or ornaments from the boxes when they did arrive. But +out of one, which contained a mass of her papers (it +was that very box which Rawdon Crawley had +ransacked in his furious hunt for Becky's concealed money), +she took a picture with great glee, which she pinned up +in her room, and to which she introduced Jos. It was +the portrait of a gentleman in pencil, his face having the +advantage of being painted up in pink. He was riding +on an elephant away from some cocoa-nut trees and a +pagoda: it was an Eastern scene. + +"God bless my soul, it is my portrait," Jos cried out. +It was he indeed, blooming in youth and beauty, in a +nankeen jacket of the cut of 1804. It was the old picture +that used to hang up in Russell Square. + +"I bought it," said Becky in a voice trembling with +emotion; "I went to see if I could be of any use to my kind +friends. I have never parted with that picture--I never +will." + +"Won't you?" Jos cried with a look of unutterable +rapture and satisfaction. "Did you really now value it +for my sake?" + +"You know I did, well enough," said Becky; "but +why speak--why think--why look back! It is too late +now!" + +That evening's conversation was delicious for Jos. +Emmy only came in to go to bed very tired and unwell. +Jos and his fair guest had a charming tete-a-tete, and +his sister could hear, as she lay awake in her adjoining +chamber, Rebecca singing over to Jos the old songs of +1815. He did not sleep, for a wonder, that night, any +more than Amelia. + +It was June, and, by consequence, high season in +London; Jos, who read the incomparable Galignani (the +exile's best friend) through every day, used to favour the +ladies with extracts from his paper during their +breakfast. Every week in this paper there is a full account of +military movements, in which Jos, as a man who had +seen service, was especially interested. On one occasion +he read out--"Arrival of the --th regiment. Gravesend, +June 20.--The Ramchunder, East Indiaman, came into the +river this morning, having on board 14 officers, and 132 +rank and file of this gallant corps. They have been +absent from England fourteen years, having been embarked +the year after Waterloo, in which glorious conflict they +took an active part, and having subsequently distinguished +themselves in the Burmese war. The veteran colonel, Sir +Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., with his lady and sister, landed +here yesterday, with Captains Posky, Stubble, Macraw, +Malony; Lieutenants Smith, Jones, Thompson, F. Thomson; +Ensigns Hicks and Grady; the band on the pier +playing the national anthem, and the crowd loudly cheering +the gallant veterans as they went into Wayte's hotel, +where a sumptuous banquet was provided for the defenders +of Old England. During the repast, which we need not +say was served up in Wayte's best style, the cheering +continued so enthusiastically that Lady O'Dowd and the +Colonel came forward to the balcony and drank the +healths of their fellow-countrymen in a bumper of Wayte's +best claret." + +On a second occasion Jos read a brief announcement +--Major Dobbin had joined the --th regiment at Chatham; +and subsequently he promulgated accounts of the +presentations at the Drawing-room of Colonel Sir +Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B., Lady O'Dowd (by Mrs. Malloy +Malony of Ballymalony), and Miss Glorvina O'Dowd (by +Lady O'Dowd). Almost directly after this, Dobbin's name +appeared among the Lieutenant-Colonels: for old Marshal +Tiptoff had died during the passage of the --th from +Madras, and the Sovereign was pleased to advance +Colonel Sir Michael O'Dowd to the rank of Major-General on +his return to England, with an intimation that he should +be Colonel of the distinguished regiment which he had so +long commanded. + +Amelia had been made aware of some of these +movements. The correspondence between George and his +guardian had not ceased by any means: William had even +written once or twice to her since his departure, but in a +manner so unconstrainedly cold that the poor woman felt +now in her turn that she had lost her power over him +and that, as he had said, he was free. He had left her, +and she was wretched. The memory of his almost countless +services, and lofty and affectionate regard, now +presented itself to her and rebuked her day and night. She +brooded over those recollections according to her wont, +saw the purity and beauty of the affection with which she +had trifled, and reproached herself for having flung away +such a treasure. + +It was gone indeed. William had spent it all out. He +loved her no more, he thought, as he had loved her. +He never could again. That sort of regard, which he had +proffered to her for so many faithful years, can't be flung +down and shattered and mended so as to show no scars. +The little heedless tyrant had so destroyed it. No, William +thought again and again, "It was myself I deluded +and persisted in cajoling; had she been worthy of the +love I gave her, she would have returned it long ago. It +was a fond mistake. Isn't the whole course of life made +up of such? And suppose I had won her, should I not +have been disenchanted the day after my victory? Why +pine, or be ashamed of my defeat?" The more he thought +of this long passage of his life, the more clearly he saw +his deception. "I'll go into harness again," he said, "and +do my duty in that state of life in which it has pleased +Heaven to place me. I will see that the buttons of the +recruits are properly bright and that the sergeants make +no mistakes in their accounts. I will dine at mess and +listen to the Scotch surgeon telling his stories. When I +am old and broken, I will go on half-pay, and my old +sisters shall scold me. I have geliebt und gelebet, as the +girl in 'Wallenstein' says. I am done. Pay the bills and get +me a cigar: find out what there is at the play to-night, +Francis; to-morrow we cross by the Batavier." He made +the above speech, whereof Francis only heard the last +two lines, pacing up and down the Boompjes at Rotterdam. +The Batavier was lying in the basin. He could see +the place on the quarter-deck where he and Emmy had +sat on the happy voyage out. What had that little Mrs. +Crawley to say to him? Psha; to-morrow we will put to +sea, and return to England, home, and duty! + +After June all the little Court Society of Pumpernickel +used to separate, according to the German plan, +and make for a hundred watering-places, where they +drank at the wells, rode upon donkeys, gambled at the +redoutes if they had money and a mind, rushed with +hundreds of their kind to gourmandise at the tables +d'hote, and idled away the summer. The English +diplomatists went off to Teoplitz and Kissingen, their French +rivals shut up their chancellerie and whisked away to +their darling Boulevard de Gand. The Transparent reigning +family took too to the waters, or retired to their hunting +lodges. Everybody went away having any pretensions +to politeness, and of course, with them, Doctor von +Glauber, the Court Doctor, and his Baroness. The seasons +for the baths were the most productive periods of +the Doctor's practice--he united business with pleasure, +and his chief place of resort was Ostend, which is much +frequented by Germans, and where the Doctor treated +himself and his spouse to what he called a "dib" in the +sea. + +His interesting patient, Jos, was a regular milch-cow +to the Doctor, and he easily persuaded the civilian, both +for his own health's sake and that of his charming +sister, which was really very much shattered, to pass the +summer at that hideous seaport town. Emmy did not +care where she went much. Georgy jumped at the idea +of a move. As for Becky, she came as a matter of course +in the fourth place inside of the fine barouche Mr. Jos +had bought, the two domestics being on the box in front. +She might have some misgivings about the friends whom +she should meet at Ostend, and who might be likely to tell +ugly stories--but bah! she was strong enough to hold +her own. She had cast such an anchor in Jos now as +would require a strong storm to shake. That incident +of the picture had finished him. Becky took down +her elephant and put it into the little box which she had +had from Amelia ever so many years ago. Emmy also +came off with her Lares--her two pictures--and the +party, finally, were, lodged in an exceedingly dear and +uncomfortable house at Ostend. + +There Amelia began to take baths and get what good +she could from them, and though scores of people of +Becky's acquaintance passed her and cut her, yet Mrs. +Osborne, who walked about with her, and who knew +nobody, was not aware of the treatment experienced by the +friend whom she had chosen so judiciously as a +companion; indeed, Becky never thought fit to tell her what +was passing under her innocent eyes. + +Some of Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's acquaintances, however, acknowledged her readily enough,--perhaps more +readily than she would have desired. Among those were +Major Loder (unattached), and Captain Rook (late of +the Rifles), who might be seen any day on the Dike, +smoking and staring at the women, and who speedily got +an introduction to the hospitable board and select circle +of Mr. Joseph Sedley. In fact they would take no denial; +they burst into the house whether Becky was at home +or not, walked into Mrs. Osborne's drawing-room, which +they perfumed with their coats and mustachios, called +Jos "Old buck," and invaded his dinner-table, and +laughed and drank for long hours there. + +"What can they mean?" asked Georgy, who did not +like these gentlemen. "I heard the Major say to Mrs. +Crawley yesterday, 'No, no, Becky, you shan't keep the +old buck to yourself. We must have the bones in, or, +dammy, I'll split.' What could the Major mean, Mamma?" + +"Major! don't call him Major!" Emmy said. "I'm sure +I can't tell what he meant." His presence and that of his +friend inspired the little lady with intolerable terror and +aversion. They paid her tipsy compliments; they leered +at her over the dinner-table. And the Captain made her +advances that filled her with sickening dismay, nor would +she ever see him unless she had George by her side. + +Rebecca, to do her justice, never would let either of +these men remain alone with Amelia; the Major was +disengaged too, and swore he would be the winner of her. +A couple of ruffians were fighting for this innocent creature, gambling for her at her own table, and though she +was not aware of the rascals' designs upon her, yet she +felt a horror and uneasiness in their presence and longed +to fly. + +She besought, she entreated Jos to go. Not he. He was +slow of movement, tied to his Doctor, and perhaps to +some other leading-strings. At least Becky was not +anxious to go to England. + +At last she took a great resolution--made the great +plunge. She wrote off a letter to a friend whom she had +on the other side of the water, a letter about which she +did not speak a word to anybody, which she carried +herself to the post under her shawl; nor was any remark +made about it, only that she looked very much flushed +and agitated when Georgy met her, and she kissed him, +and hung over him a great deal that night. She did not +come out of her room after her return from her walk. +Becky thought it was Major Loder and the Captain who +frightened her. + +"She mustn't stop here," Becky reasoned with herself. +"She must go away, the silly little fool. She is still +whimpering after that gaby of a husband--dead (and +served right!) these fifteen years. She shan't marry either +of these men. It's too bad of Loder. No; she shall marry +the bamboo cane, I'll settle it this very night." + +So Becky took a cup of tea to Amelia in her private +apartment and found that lady in the company of her +miniatures, and in a most melancholy and nervous +condition. She laid down the cup of tea. + +"Thank you," said Amelia. + +"Listen to me, Amelia," said Becky, marching up and +down the room before the other and surveying her with +a sort of contemptuous kindness. "I want to talk to you. +You must go away from here and from the impertinences +of these men. I won't have you harassed by them: and +they will insult you if you stay. I tell you they are rascals: +men fit to send to the hulks. Never mind how I know +them. I know everybody. Jos can't protect you; he is too +weak and wants a protector himself. You are no more fit +to live in the world than a baby in arms. You must marry, +or you and your precious boy will go to ruin. You must +have a husband, you fool; and one of the best gentlemen +I ever saw has offered you a hundred times, and you have +rejected him, you silly, heartless, ungrateful little +creature!" + +"I tried--I tried my best, indeed I did, Rebecca," said +Amelia deprecatingly, "but I couldn't forget--"; and she +finished the sentence by looking up at the portrait. + +"Couldn't forget HIM!" cried out Becky, "that selfish +humbug, that low-bred cockney dandy, that padded +booby, who had neither wit, nor manners, nor heart, and +was no more to be compared to your friend with the +bamboo cane than you are to Queen Elizabeth. Why, +the man was weary of you, and would have jilted you, but +that Dobbin forced him to keep his word. He owned it +to me. He never cared for you. He used to sneer about +you to me, time after time, and made love to me the +week after he married you." + +"It's false! It's false! Rebecca," cried out Amelia, +starting up. + +"Look there, you fool," Becky said, still with provoking +good humour, and taking a little paper out of her +belt, she opened it and flung it into Emmy's lap. "You +know his handwriting. He wrote that to me--wanted me +to run away with him--gave it me under your nose, the +day before he was shot--and served him right!" Becky +repeated. + +Emmy did not hear her; she was looking at the letter. +It was that which George had put into the bouquet and +given to Becky on the night of the Duchess of Richmond's +ball. It was as she said: the foolish young man +had asked her to fly. + +Emmy's head sank down, and for almost the last time +in which she shall be called upon to weep in this history, +she commenced that work. Her head fell to her bosom, and +her hands went up to her eyes; and there for a while, she +gave way to her emotions, as Becky stood on and +regarded her. Who shall analyse those tears and say +whether they were sweet or bitter? Was she most grieved +because the idol of her life was tumbled down and +shivered at her feet, or indignant that her love had been so +despised, or glad because the barrier was removed which +modesty had placed between her and a new, a real affection? +"There is nothing to forbid me now," she thought. +"I may love him with all my heart now. Oh, I will, I will, +if he will but let me and forgive me." I believe it was this +feeling rushed over all the others which agitated that +gentle little bosom. + +Indeed, she did not cry so much as Becky expected-- +the other soothed and kissed her--a rare mark of +sympathy with Mrs. Becky. She treated Emmy like a child +and patted her head. "And now let us get pen and ink +and write to him to come this minute," she said. + +"I--I wrote to him this morning," Emmy said, blushing +exceedingly. Becky screamed with laughter--"Un +biglietto," she sang out with Rosina, "eccolo qua!"--the +whole house echoed with her shrill singing. + +Two mornings after this little scene, although the day +was rainy and gusty, and Amelia had had an exceedingly +wakeful night, listening to the wind roaring, and pitying +all travellers by land and by water, yet she got up early +and insisted upon taking a walk on the Dike with Georgy; +and there she paced as the rain beat into her face, and +she looked out westward across the dark sea line and +over the swollen billows which came tumbling and frothing +to the shore. Neither spoke much, except now and +then, when the boy said a few words to his timid +companion, indicative of sympathy and protection. + +"I hope he won't cross in such weather," Emmy said. + +"I bet ten to one he does," the boy answered. "Look, +Mother, there's the smoke of the steamer." It was that +signal, sure enough. + +But though the steamer was under way, he might not +be on board; he might not have got the letter; he might +not choose to come. A hundred fears poured one over the +other into the little heart, as fast as the waves on to the +Dike. + +The boat followed the smoke into sight. Georgy had a +dandy telescope and got the vessel under view in the most +skilful manner. And he made appropriate nautical +comments upon the manner of the approach of the steamer +as she came nearer and nearer, dipping and rising in the +water. The signal of an English steamer in sight went +fluttering up to the mast on the pier. I daresay Mrs. +Amelia's heart was in a similar flutter. + +Emmy tried to look through the telescope over +George's shoulder, but she could make nothing of it. +She only saw a black eclipse bobbing up and down +before her eyes. + +George took the glass again and raked the vessel. +"How she does pitch!" he said. "There goes a wave slap +over her bows. There's only two people on deck besides +the steersman. There's a man lying down, and a--chap +in a--cloak with a--Hooray!--it's Dob, by Jingo!" +He clapped to the telescope and flung his arms round +his mother. As for that lady, let us say what she did in +the words of a favourite poet--"Dakruoen gelasasa." She +was sure it was William. It could be no other. What she +had said about hoping that he would not come was all +hypocrisy. Of course he would come; what could he do +else but come? She knew he would come. + +The ship came swiftly nearer and nearer. As they went +in to meet her at the landing-place at the quay, Emmy's +knees trembled so that she scarcely could run. She would +have liked to kneel down and say her prayers of thanks +there. Oh, she thought, she would be all her life saying +them! + +It was such a bad day that as the vessel came alongside +of the quay there were no idlers abroad, scarcely +even a commissioner on the look out for the few +passengers in the steamer. That young scapegrace George +had fled too, and as the gentleman in the old cloak lined +with red stuff stepped on to the shore, there was scarcely +any one present to see what took place, which was briefly +this: + +A lady in a dripping white bonnet and shawl, with her +two little hands out before her, went up to him, and in +the next minute she had altogether disappeared under the +folds of the old cloak, and was kissing one of his hands +with all her might; whilst the other, I suppose, was +engaged in holding her to his heart (which her head just +about reached) and in preventing her from tumbling +down. She was murmuring something about--forgive-- +dear William--dear, dear, dearest friend--kiss, kiss, kiss, +and so forth--and in fact went on under the cloak in an +absurd manner. + +When Emmy emerged from it, she still kept tight hold +of one of William's hands, and looked up in his face. It +was full of sadness and tender love and pity. She +understood its reproach and hung down her head. + +"It was time you sent for me, dear Amelia," he said. + +"You will never go again, William?" + +"No, never," he answered, and pressed the dear little +soul once more to his heart. + +As they issued out of the custom-house precincts, +Georgy broke out on them, with his telescope up to his +eye, and a loud laugh of welcome; he danced round the +couple and performed many facetious antics as he led +them up to the house. Jos wasn't up yet; Becky not +visible (though she looked at them through the blinds). +Georgy ran off to see about breakfast. Emmy, whose +shawl and bonnet were off in the passage in the hands of +Mrs. Payne, now went to undo the clasp of William's +cloak, and--we will, if you please, go with George, and +look after breakfast for the Colonel. The vessel is in port. +He has got the prize he has been trying for all his life. +The bird has come in at last. There it is with its head on +his shoulder, billing and cooing close up to his heart, +with soft outstretched fluttering wings. This is what he +has asked for every day and hour for eighteen years. This +is what he pined after. Here it is--the summit, the end-- +the last page of the third volume. Good-bye, Colonel-- +God bless you, honest William!--Farewell, dear Amelia +--Grow green again, tender little parasite, round the +rugged old oak to which you cling! + +Perhaps it was compunction towards the kind and +simple creature, who had been the first in life to defend +her, perhaps it was a dislike to all such sentimental scenes +--but Rebecca, satisfied with her part in the transaction, +never presented herself before Colonel Dobbin and the +lady whom he married. "Particular business," she said, +took her to Bruges, whither she went, and only Georgy +and his uncle were present at the marriage ceremony. +When it was over, and Georgy had rejoined his parents, +Mrs. Becky returned (just for a few days) to comfort the +solitary bachelor, Joseph Sedley. He preferred a +continental life, he said, and declined to join in housekeeping +with his sister and her husband. + +Emmy was very glad in her heart to think that she +had written to her husband before she read or knew of +that letter of George's. "I knew it all along," William +said; "but could I use that weapon against the poor +fellow's memory? It was that which made me suffer so +when you--" + +"Never speak of that day again," Emmy cried out, so +contrite and humble that William turned off the +conversation by his account of Glorvina and dear old Peggy +O'Dowd, with whom he was sitting when the letter of +recall reached him. "If you hadn't sent for me," he added +with a laugh, "who knows what Glorvina's name might +be now?" + +At present it is Glorvina Posky (now Mrs. Major +Posky); she took him on the death of his first wife, +having resolved never to marry out of the regiment. Lady +O'Dowd is also so attached to it that, she says, if anything +were to happen to Mick, bedad she'd come back +and marry some of 'em. But the Major-General is quite +well and lives in great splendour at O'Dowdstown, with +a pack of beagles, and (with the exception of perhaps +their neighbour, Hoggarty of Castle Hoggarty) he is the +first man of his county. Her Ladyship still dances jigs, and +insisted on standing up with the Master of the Horse at +the Lord Lieutenant's last ball. Both she and Glorvina +declared that Dobbin had used the latter SHEAMFULLY, but +Posky falling in, Glorvina was consoled, and a beautiful +turban from Paris appeased the wrath of Lady O'Dowd. + +When Colonel Dobbin quitted the service, which he did +immediately after his marriage, he rented a pretty little +country place in Hampshire, not far from Queen's Crawley, +where, after the passing of the Reform Bill, Sir Pitt +and his family constantly resided now. All idea of a +Peerage was out of the question, the Baronet's two seats +in Parliament being lost. He was both out of pocket and +out of spirits by that catastrophe, failed in his health, +and prophesied the speedy ruin of the Empire. + +Lady Jane and Mrs. Dobbin became great friends-- +there was a perpetual crossing of pony-chaises between +the Hall and the Evergreens, the Colonel's place (rented +of his friend Major Ponto, who was abroad with his +family). Her Ladyship was godmother to Mrs. Dobbin's child, +which bore her name, and was christened by the Rev. +James Crawley, who succeeded his father in the living: +and a pretty close friendship subsisted between the two +lads, George and Rawdon, who hunted and shot together +in the vacations, were both entered of the same college +at Cambridge, and quarrelled with each other about Lady +Jane's daughter, with whom they were both, of course, +in love. A match between George and that young lady was +long a favourite scheme of both the matrons, though I +have heard that Miss Crawley herself inclined towards +her cousin. + +Mrs. Rawdon Crawley's name was never mentioned by +either family. There were reasons why all should be silent +regarding her. For wherever Mr. Joseph Sedley went, she +travelled likewise, and that infatuated man seemed to be +entirely her slave. The Colonel's lawyers informed him +that his brother-in-law had effected a heavy insurance +upon his life, whence it was probable that he had been +raising money to discharge debts. He procured prolonged +leave of absence from the East India House, and indeed, +his infirmities were daily increasing. + +On hearing the news about the insurance, Amelia, in +a good deal of alarm, entreated her husband to go to +Brussels, where Jos then was, and inquire into the state +of his affairs. The Colonel quitted home with reluctance +(for he was deeply immersed in his History of the +Punjaub which still occupies him, and much alarmed +about his little daughter, whom he idolizes, and who was +just recovering from the chicken-pox) and went to Brussels +and found Jos living at one of the enormous hotels +in that city. Mrs. Crawley, who had her carriage, gave +entertainments, and lived in a very genteel manner, +occupied another suite of apartments in the same hotel. + +The Colonel, of course, did not desire to see that lady, +or even think proper to notify his arrival at Brussels, +except privately to Jos by a message through his valet. Jos +begged the Colonel to come and see him that night, when +Mrs. Crawley would be at a soiree, and when they could +meet alone. He found his brother-in-law in a condition of +pitiable infirmity--and dreadfully afraid of Rebecca, +though eager in his praises of her. She tended him through +a series of unheard-of illnesses with a fidelity most +admirable. She had been a daughter to him. "But--but-- +oh, for God's sake, do come and live near me, and--and +--see me sometimes," whimpered out the unfortunate +man. + +The Colonel's brow darkened at this. "We can't, Jos," +he said. "Considering the circumstances, Amelia can't +visit you." + +"I swear to you--I swear to you on the Bible," gasped +out Joseph, wanting to kiss the book, "that she is as +innocent as a child, as spotless as your own wife." + +"It may be so," said the Colonel gloomily, "but Emmy +can't come to you. Be a man, Jos: break off this +disreputable connection. Come home to your family. We hear +your affairs are involved." + +"Involved!" cried Jos. "Who has told such calumnies? +All my money is placed out most advantageously. Mrs. +Crawley--that is--I mean--it is laid out to the best +interest." + +"You are not in debt, then? Why did you insure your +life?" + +"I thought--a little present to her--in case anything +happened; and you know my health is so delicate--common +gratitude you know--and I intend to leave all my +money to you--and I can spare it out of my income, +indeed I can," cried out William's weak brother-in-law. + +The Colonel besought Jos to fly at once--to go back to +India, whither Mrs. Crawley could not follow him; to +do anything to break off a connection which might have +the most fatal consequences to him. + +Jos clasped his hands and cried, "He would go back to +India. He would do anything, only he must have time: +they mustn't say anything to Mrs. Crawley--she'd--she'd +kill me if she knew it. You don't know what a terrible +woman she is," the poor wretch said. + +"Then, why not come away with me?" said Dobbin in +reply; but Jos had not the courage. "He would see +Dobbin again in the morning; he must on no account say that +he had been there. He must go now. Becky might come +in." And Dobbin quitted him, full of forebodings. + +He never saw Jos more. Three months afterwards +Joseph Sedley died at Aix-la-Chapelle. It was found that +all his property had been muddled away in speculations, +and was represented by valueless shares in different +bubble companies. All his available assets were the two +thousand pounds for which his life was insured, and which +were left equally between his beloved "sister Amelia, +wife of, &c., and his friend and invaluable attendant +during sickness, Rebecca, wife of Lieutenant-Colonel +Rawdon Crawley, C.B.," who was appointed administratrix. + +The solicitor of the insurance company swore it was +the blackest case that ever had come before him, talked +of sending a commission to Aix to examine into the death, +and the Company refused payment of the policy. But +Mrs., or Lady Crawley, as she styled herself, came to +town at once (attended with her solicitors, Messrs. Burke, +Thurtell, and Hayes, of Thavies Inn) and dared the +Company to refuse the payment. They invited examination, +they declared that she was the object of an infamous +conspiracy, which had been pursuing her all through life, +and triumphed finally. The money was paid, and her +character established, but Colonel Dobbin sent back his share +of the legacy to the insurance office and rigidly declined to +hold any communication with Rebecca + +She never was Lady Crawley, though she continued so +to call herself. His Excellency Colonel Rawdon Crawley +died of yellow fever at Coventry Island, most deeply +beloved and deplored, and six weeks before the demise of +his brother, Sir Pitt. The estate consequently devolved +upon the present Sir Rawdon Crawley, Bart. + +He, too, has declined to see his mother, to whom he +makes a liberal allowance, and who, besides, appears to +be very wealthy. The Baronet lives entirely at Queen's +Crawley, with Lady Jane and her daughter, whilst Rebecca, +Lady Crawley, chiefly hangs about Bath and Cheltenham, +where a very strong party of excellent people +consider her to be a most injured woman. She has her +enemies. Who has not? Her life is her answer to them. +She busies herself in works of piety. She goes to church, +and never without a footman. Her name is in all the +Charity Lists. The destitute orange-girl, the neglected +washerwoman, the distressed muffin-man find in her a +fast and generous friend. She is always having stalls at +Fancy Fairs for the benefit of these hapless beings. Emmy, +her children, and the Colonel, coming to London some +time back, found themselves suddenly before her at one +of these fairs. She cast down her eyes demurely and +smiled as they started away from her; Emmy scurrying +off on the arm of George (now grown a dashing young +gentleman) and the Colonel seizing up his little Janey, +of whom he is fonder than of anything in the world-- +fonder even than of his History of the Punjaub. + +"Fonder than he is of me," Emmy thinks with a sigh +But he never said a word to Amelia that was not kind and +gentle, or thought of a want of hers that he did not try to +gratify. + +Ah! Vanitas Vanitatum! which of us is happy in this +world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied? +--come, children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, +for our play is played out. + + + + + +End of The Project Gutenberg Etext of Vanity Fair, by Thackary + |