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diff --git a/old/orig5946-h/p30.htm b/old/orig5946-h/p30.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b75fa2b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/orig5946-h/p30.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1999 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, By Cervantes, Vol. II., Part 30.</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + PRE { font-family: Times; font-size: 97%; margin-left: 15%;} + // --> +</style> + + +</head> +<body> + + +<center> +<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3> +<tr><td> + <a href="p29.htm">Previous Part</a> +</td><td> + <a href="5946-h.htm">Main Index</a> +</td><td> + <a href="p31.htm">Next Part</a> + </td></tr> +</table> +</center> +<br><br> + + +<center> +<h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1> +<br> +<h2>by Miguel de Cervantes</h2> +<br> +<h3>Translated by John Ormsby</h3> +</center> + +<br><br> +<center><h3> +Volume II., Part 30 +<br><br> +Chapters 36-43 +</h3></center> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="bookcover.jpg (230K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" height="842" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/bookcover.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> +<img alt="spine.jpg (152K)" src="images/spine.jpg" height="842" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/spine.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center> +<h3>Ebook Editor's Note</h3> +</center> +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> +<p> +The book cover and spine above and the images which follow were not part of the original Ormsby +translation—they are taken from the 1880 edition of J. W. Clark, illustrated by +Gustave Dore. Clark in his edition states that, "The English text of 'Don Quixote' +adopted in this edition is that of Jarvis, with occasional corrections from Motteaux." +See in the introduction below John Ormsby's critique of +both the Jarvis and Motteaux translations. It has been elected in the present Project Gutenberg edition +to attach the famous engravings of Gustave Dore to the Ormsby translation instead +of the Jarvis/Motteaux. The detail of many of the Dore engravings can be fully appreciated only +by utilizing the "Enlarge" button to expand them to their original dimensions. Ormsby +in his Preface has criticized the fanciful nature of Dore's illustrations; others feel +these woodcuts and steel engravings well match Quixote's dreams. + D.W.</p> +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> +<img alt="p003.jpg (307K)" src="images/p003.jpg" height="813" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p003.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h2>CONTENTS</h2></center> + + +<pre> + +<a href="#ch36b">CHAPTER XXXVI</a> +WHEREIN IS RELATED THE STRANGE AND UNDREAMT-OF +ADVENTURE OF THE DISTRESSED DUENNA, ALIAS THE COUNTESS +TRIFALDI, TOGETHER WITH A LETTER WHICH SANCHO PANZA +WROTE TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA + +<a href="#ch37b">CHAPTER XXXVII</a> +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE +DISTRESSED DUENNA + +<a href="#ch38b">CHAPTER XXXVIII</a> +WHEREIN IS TOLD THE DISTRESSED DUENNA'S TALE OF HER +MISFORTUNES + +<a href="#ch39b">CHAPTER XXXIX</a> +IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND +MEMORABLE STORY + +<a href="#ch40b">CHAPTER XL</a> +OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE +AND TO THIS MEMORABLE HISTORY + +<a href="#ch41b">CHAPTER XLI</a> +OF THE ARRIVAL OF CLAVILENO AND THE END OF THIS +PROTRACTED ADVENTURE + +<a href="#ch42b">CHAPTER XLII</a> +OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA +BEFORE HE SET OUT TO GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH +OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS + +<a href="#ch43b">CHAPTER XLIII</a> +OF THE SECOND SET OF COUNSELS DON QUIXOTE GAVE +SANCHO PANZA + +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1></center> +<br><br> +<center><h2>Volume II.</h2></center> +<br> +<br> +<br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch36b"></a>CHAPTER XXXVI.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>WHEREIN IS RELATED THE STRANGE AND UNDREAMT-OF ADVENTURE OF THE +DISTRESSED DUENNA, ALIAS THE COUNTESS TRIFALDI, TOGETHER WITH A LETTER +WHICH SANCHO PANZA WROTE TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p36a"></a><img alt="p36a.jpg (150K)" src="images/p36a.jpg" height="428" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p36a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>The duke had a majordomo of a very facetious and sportive turn, +and he it was that played the part of Merlin, made all the +arrangements for the late adventure, composed the verses, and got a +page to represent Dulcinea; and now, with the assistance of his master +and mistress, he got up another of the drollest and strangest +contrivances that can be imagined.</p> + +<p>The duchess asked Sancho the next day if he had made a beginning +with his penance task which he had to perform for the disenchantment +of Dulcinea. He said he had, and had given himself five lashes +overnight.</p> + +<p>The duchess asked him what he had given them with.</p> + +<p>He said with his hand.</p> + +<p>"That," said the duchess, "is more like giving oneself slaps than +lashes; I am sure the sage Merlin will not be satisfied with such +tenderness; worthy Sancho must make a scourge with claws, or a +cat-o'-nine tails, that will make itself felt; for it's with blood +that letters enter, and the release of so great a lady as Dulcinea +will not be granted so cheaply, or at such a paltry price; and +remember, Sancho, that works of charity done in a lukewarm and +half-hearted way are without merit and of no avail."</p> + +<p>To which Sancho replied, "If your ladyship will give me a proper +scourge or cord, I'll lay on with it, provided it does not hurt too +much; for you must know, boor as I am, my flesh is more cotton than +hemp, and it won't do for me to destroy myself for the good of anybody +else."</p> + +<p>"So be it by all means," said the duchess; "tomorrow I'll give you a +scourge that will be just the thing for you, and will accommodate +itself to the tenderness of your flesh, as if it was its own sister."</p> + +<p>Then said Sancho, "Your highness must know, dear lady of my soul, +that I have a letter written to my wife, Teresa Panza, giving her an +account of all that has happened me since I left her; I have it here +in my bosom, and there's nothing wanting but to put the address to it; +I'd be glad if your discretion would read it, for I think it runs in +the governor style; I mean the way governors ought to write."</p> + +<p>"And who dictated it?" asked the duchess.</p> + +<p>"Who should have dictated but myself, sinner as I am?" said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"And did you write it yourself?" said the duchess.</p> + +<p>"That I didn't," said Sancho; "for I can neither read nor write, +though I can sign my name."</p> + +<p>"Let us see it," said the duchess, "for never fear but you display +in it the quality and quantity of your wit."</p> + +<p>Sancho drew out an open letter from his bosom, and the duchess, +taking it, found it ran in this fashion:</p> + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> +SANCHO PANZA'S LETTER TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA</p> + +<p> +If I was well whipped I went mounted like a gentleman; if I have got +a good government it is at the cost of a good whipping. Thou wilt +not understand this just now, my Teresa; by-and-by thou wilt know what +it means. I may tell thee, Teresa, I mean thee to go in a coach, for +that is a matter of importance, because every other way of going is +going on all-fours. Thou art a governor's wife; take care that +nobody speaks evil of thee behind thy back. I send thee here a green +hunting suit that my lady the duchess gave me; alter it so as to +make a petticoat and bodice for our daughter. Don Quixote, my +master, if I am to believe what I hear in these parts, is a madman +of some sense, and a droll blockhead, and I am no way behind him. We +have been in the cave of Montesinos, and the sage Merlin has laid hold +of me for the disenchantment of Dulcinea del Toboso, her that is +called Aldonza Lorenzo over there. With three thousand three hundred +lashes, less five, that I'm to give myself, she will be left as +entirely disenchanted as the mother that bore her. Say nothing of this +to anyone; for, make thy affairs public, and some will say they are +white and others will say they are black. I shall leave this in a +few days for my government, to which I am going with a mighty great +desire to make money, for they tell me all new governors set out +with the same desire; I will feel the pulse of it and will let thee +know if thou art to come and live with me or not. Dapple is well and +sends many remembrances to thee; I am not going to leave him behind +though they took me away to be Grand Turk. My lady the duchess +kisses thy hands a thousand times; do thou make a return with two +thousand, for as my master says, nothing costs less or is cheaper than +civility. God has not been pleased to provide another valise for me +with another hundred crowns, like the one the other day; but never +mind, my Teresa, the bell-ringer is in safe quarters, and all will +come out in the scouring of the government; only it troubles me +greatly what they tell me—that once I have tasted it I will eat my +hands off after it; and if that is so it will not come very cheap to +me; though to be sure the maimed have a benefice of their own in the +alms they beg for; so that one way or another thou wilt be rich and in +luck. God give it to thee as he can, and keep me to serve thee. From +this castle, the 20th of July, 1614.</p> + +<p>Thy husband, the governor.</p> + +<p>SANCHO PANZA</p> +</blockquote></blockquote> + + +<p>When she had done reading the letter the duchess said to Sancho, "On +two points the worthy governor goes rather astray; one is in saying or +hinting that this government has been bestowed upon him for the lashes +that he is to give himself, when he knows (and he cannot deny it) that +when my lord the duke promised it to him nobody ever dreamt of such +a thing as lashes; the other is that he shows himself here to be +very covetous; and I would not have him a money-seeker, for +'covetousness bursts the bag,' and the covetous governor does +ungoverned justice."</p> + +<p>"I don't mean it that way, senora," said Sancho; "and if you think +the letter doesn't run as it ought to do, it's only to tear it up +and make another; and maybe it will be a worse one if it is left to my +gumption."</p> + +<p>"No, no," said the duchess, "this one will do, and I wish the duke +to see it."</p> + +<p>With this they betook themselves to a garden where they were to +dine, and the duchess showed Sancho's letter to the duke, who was +highly delighted with it. They dined, and after the cloth had been +removed and they had amused themselves for a while with Sancho's +rich conversation, the melancholy sound of a fife and harsh discordant +drum made itself heard. All seemed somewhat put out by this dull, +confused, martial harmony, especially Don Quixote, who could not +keep his seat from pure disquietude; as to Sancho, it is needless to +say that fear drove him to his usual refuge, the side or the skirts of +the duchess; and indeed and in truth the sound they heard was a most +doleful and melancholy one. While they were still in uncertainty +they saw advancing towards them through the garden two men clad in +mourning robes so long and flowing that they trailed upon the +ground. As they marched they beat two great drums which were +likewise draped in black, and beside them came the fife player, +black and sombre like the others. Following these came a personage +of gigantic stature enveloped rather than clad in a gown of the +deepest black, the skirt of which was of prodigious dimensions. Over +the gown, girdling or crossing his figure, he had a broad baldric +which was also black, and from which hung a huge scimitar with a black +scabbard and furniture. He had his face covered with a transparent +black veil, through which might be descried a very long beard as white +as snow. He came on keeping step to the sound of the drums with +great gravity and dignity; and, in short, his stature, his gait, the +sombreness of his appearance and his following might well have +struck with astonishment, as they did, all who beheld him without +knowing who he was. With this measured pace and in this guise he +advanced to kneel before the duke, who, with the others, awaited him +standing. The duke, however, would not on any account allow him to +speak until he had risen. The prodigious scarecrow obeyed, and +standing up, removed the veil from his face and disclosed the most +enormous, the longest, the whitest and the thickest beard that human +eyes had ever beheld until that moment, and then fetching up a +grave, sonorous voice from the depths of his broad, capacious chest, +and fixing his eyes on the duke, he said:</p> + +<p>"Most high and mighty senor, my name is Trifaldin of the White +Beard; I am squire to the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the +Distressed Duenna, on whose behalf I bear a message to your +highness, which is that your magnificence will be pleased to grant her +leave and permission to come and tell you her trouble, which is one of +the strangest and most wonderful that the mind most familiar with +trouble in the world could have imagined; but first she desires to +know if the valiant and never vanquished knight, Don Quixote of La +Mancha, is in this your castle, for she has come in quest of him on +foot and without breaking her fast from the kingdom of Kandy to your +realms here; a thing which may and ought to be regarded as a miracle +or set down to enchantment; she is even now at the gate of this +fortress or plaisance, and only waits for your permission to enter. +I have spoken." And with that he coughed, and stroked down his beard +with both his hands, and stood very tranquilly waiting for the +response of the duke, which was to this effect: "Many days ago, worthy +squire Trifaldin of the White Beard, we heard of the misfortune of +my lady the Countess Trifaldi, whom the enchanters have caused to be +called the Distressed Duenna. Bid her enter, O stupendous squire, +and tell her that the valiant knight Don Quixote of La Mancha is here, +and from his generous disposition she may safely promise herself every +protection and assistance; and you may tell her, too, that if my aid +be necessary it will not be withheld, for I am bound to give it to her +by my quality of knight, which involves the protection of women of all +sorts, especially widowed, wronged, and distressed dames, such as +her ladyship seems to be."</p> + +<p>On hearing this Trifaldin bent the knee to the ground, and making +a sign to the fifer and drummers to strike up, he turned and marched +out of the garden to the same notes and at the same pace as when he +entered, leaving them all amazed at his bearing and solemnity. Turning +to Don Quixote, the duke said, "After all, renowned knight, the +mists of malice and ignorance are unable to hide or obscure the +light of valour and virtue. I say so, because your excellence has been +barely six days in this castle, and already the unhappy and the +afflicted come in quest of you from lands far distant and remote, +and not in coaches or on dromedaries, but on foot and fasting, +confident that in that mighty arm they will find a cure for their +sorrows and troubles; thanks to your great achievements, which are +circulated all over the known earth."</p> + +<p>"I wish, senor duke," replied Don Quixote, "that blessed +ecclesiastic, who at table the other day showed such ill-will and +bitter spite against knights-errant, were here now to see with his own +eyes whether knights of the sort are needed in the world; he would +at any rate learn by experience that those suffering any extraordinary +affliction or sorrow, in extreme cases and unusual misfortunes do +not go to look for a remedy to the houses of jurists or village +sacristans, or to the knight who has never attempted to pass the +bounds of his own town, or to the indolent courtier who only seeks for +news to repeat and talk of, instead of striving to do deeds and +exploits for others to relate and record. Relief in distress, help +in need, protection for damsels, consolation for widows, are to be +found in no sort of persons better than in knights-errant; and I +give unceasing thanks to heaven that I am one, and regard any +misfortune or suffering that may befall me in the pursuit of so +honourable a calling as endured to good purpose. Let this duenna +come and ask what she will, for I will effect her relief by the +might of my arm and the dauntless resolution of my bold heart."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p36e"></a><img alt="p36e.jpg (22K)" src="images/p36e.jpg" height="501" width="403"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch37b"></a>CHAPTER XXXVII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE DISTRESSED DUENNA +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p37a"></a><img alt="p37a.jpg (94K)" src="images/p37a.jpg" height="295" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p37a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>The duke and duchess were extremely glad to see how readily Don +Quixote fell in with their scheme; but at this moment Sancho observed, +"I hope this senora duenna won't be putting any difficulties in the +way of the promise of my government; for I have heard a Toledo +apothecary, who talked like a goldfinch, say that where duennas were +mixed up nothing good could happen. God bless me, how he hated them, +that same apothecary! And so what I'm thinking is, if all duennas, +of whatever sort or condition they may be, are plagues and busybodies, +what must they be that are distressed, like this Countess Three-skirts +or Three-tails!—for in my country skirts or tails, tails or skirts, +it's all one."</p> + +<p>"Hush, friend Sancho," said Don Quixote; "since this lady duenna +comes in quest of me from such a distant land she cannot be one of +those the apothecary meant; moreover this is a countess, and when +countesses serve as duennas it is in the service of queens and +empresses, for in their own houses they are mistresses paramount and +have other duennas to wait on them."</p> + +<p>To this Dona Rodriguez, who was present, made answer, "My lady the +duchess has duennas in her service that might be countesses if it +was the will of fortune; 'but laws go as kings like;' let nobody speak +ill of duennas, above all of ancient maiden ones; for though I am +not one myself, I know and am aware of the advantage a maiden duenna +has over one that is a widow; but 'he who clipped us has kept the +scissors.'"</p> + +<p>"For all that," said Sancho, "there's so much to be clipped about +duennas, so my barber said, that 'it will be better not to stir the +rice even though it sticks.'"</p> + +<p>"These squires," returned Dona Rodriguez, "are always our enemies; +and as they are the haunting spirits of the antechambers and watch +us at every step, whenever they are not saying their prayers (and +that's often enough) they spend their time in tattling about us, +digging up our bones and burying our good name. But I can tell these +walking blocks that we will live in spite of them, and in great houses +too, though we die of hunger and cover our flesh, be it delicate or +not, with widow's weeds, as one covers or hides a dunghill on a +procession day. By my faith, if it were permitted me and time allowed, +I could prove, not only to those here present, but to all the world, +that there is no virtue that is not to be found in a duenna."</p> + +<p>"I have no doubt," said the duchess, "that my good Dona Rodriguez is +right, and very much so; but she had better bide her time for fighting +her own battle and that of the rest of the duennas, so as to crush the +calumny of that vile apothecary, and root out the prejudice in the +great Sancho Panza's mind."</p> + +<p>To which Sancho replied, "Ever since I have sniffed the governorship +I have got rid of the humours of a squire, and I don't care a wild fig +for all the duennas in the world."</p> + +<p>They would have carried on this duenna dispute further had they +not heard the notes of the fife and drums once more, from which they +concluded that the Distressed Duenna was making her entrance. The +duchess asked the duke if it would be proper to go out to receive her, +as she was a countess and a person of rank.</p> + +<p>"In respect of her being a countess," said Sancho, before the duke +could reply, "I am for your highnesses going out to receive her; but +in respect of her being a duenna, it is my opinion you should not stir +a step."</p> + +<p>"Who bade thee meddle in this, Sancho?" said Don Quixote.</p> + +<p>"Who, senor?" said Sancho; "I meddle for I have a right to meddle, +as a squire who has learned the rules of courtesy in the school of +your worship, the most courteous and best-bred knight in the whole +world of courtliness; and in these things, as I have heard your +worship say, as much is lost by a card too many as by a card too +few, and to one who has his ears open, few words."</p> + +<p>"Sancho is right," said the duke; "we'll see what the countess is +like, and by that measure the courtesy that is due to her."</p> + +<p>And now the drums and fife made their entrance as before; and here +the author brought this short chapter to an end and began the next, +following up the same adventure, which is one of the most notable in +the history.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p37e"></a><img alt="p37e.jpg (21K)" src="images/p37e.jpg" height="349" width="363"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch38b"></a>CHAPTER XXXVIII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>WHEREIN IS TOLD THE DISTRESSED DUENNA'S TALE OF HER MISFORTUNES +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p38a"></a><img alt="p38a.jpg (54K)" src="images/p38a.jpg" height="175" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p38a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>Following the melancholy musicians there filed into the garden as +many as twelve duennas, in two lines, all dressed in ample mourning +robes apparently of milled serge, with hoods of fine white gauze so +long that they allowed only the border of the robe to be seen. +Behind them came the Countess Trifaldi, the squire Trifaldin of the +White Beard leading her by the hand, clad in the finest unnapped black +baize, such that, had it a nap, every tuft would have shown as big +as a Martos chickpea; the tail, or skirt, or whatever it might be +called, ended in three points which were borne up by the hands of +three pages, likewise dressed in mourning, forming an elegant +geometrical figure with the three acute angles made by the three +points, from which all who saw the peaked skirt concluded that it must +be because of it the countess was called Trifaldi, as though it were +Countess of the Three Skirts; and Benengeli says it was so, and that +by her right name she was called the Countess Lobuna, because wolves +bred in great numbers in her country; and if, instead of wolves, +they had been foxes, she would have been called the Countess +Zorruna, as it was the custom in those parts for lords to take +distinctive titles from the thing or things most abundant in their +dominions; this countess, however, in honour of the new fashion of her +skirt, dropped Lobuna and took up Trifaldi.</p> + +<p>The twelve duennas and the lady came on at procession pace, their +faces being covered with black veils, not transparent ones like +Trifaldin's, but so close that they allowed nothing to be seen through +them. As soon as the band of duennas was fully in sight, the duke, the +duchess, and Don Quixote stood up, as well as all who were watching +the slow-moving procession. The twelve duennas halted and formed a +lane, along which the Distressed One advanced, Trifaldin still holding +her hand. On seeing this the duke, the duchess, and Don Quixote went +some twelve paces forward to meet her. She then, kneeling on the +ground, said in a voice hoarse and rough, rather than fine and +delicate, "May it please your highnesses not to offer such +courtesies to this your servant, I should say to this your handmaid, +for I am in such distress that I shall never be able to make a +proper return, because my strange and unparalleled misfortune has +carried off my wits, and I know not whither; but it must be a long way +off, for the more I look for them the less I find them."</p> + +<p>"He would be wanting in wits, senora countess," said the duke, +"who did not perceive your worth by your person, for at a glance it +may be seen it deserves all the cream of courtesy and flower of polite +usage;" and raising her up by the hand he led her to a seat beside the +duchess, who likewise received her with great urbanity. Don Quixote +remained silent, while Sancho was dying to see the features of +Trifaldi and one or two of her many duennas; but there was no +possibility of it until they themselves displayed them of their own +accord and free will.</p> + +<p>All kept still, waiting to see who would break silence, which the +Distressed Duenna did in these words: "I am confident, most mighty +lord, most fair lady, and most discreet company, that my most +miserable misery will be accorded a reception no less dispassionate +than generous and condolent in your most valiant bosoms, for it is one +that is enough to melt marble, soften diamonds, and mollify the +steel of the most hardened hearts in the world; but ere it is +proclaimed to your hearing, not to say your ears, I would fain be +enlightened whether there be present in this society, circle, or +company, that knight immaculatissimus, Don Quixote de la +Manchissima, and his squirissimus Panza."</p> + +<p>"The Panza is here," said Sancho, before anyone could reply, "and +Don Quixotissimus too; and so, most distressedest Duenissima, you +may say what you willissimus, for we are all readissimus to do you any +servissimus."</p> + +<p>On this Don Quixote rose, and addressing the Distressed Duenna, +said, "If your sorrows, afflicted lady, can indulge in any hope of +relief from the valour or might of any knight-errant, here are mine, +which, feeble and limited though they be, shall be entirely devoted to +your service. I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, whose calling it is to +give aid to the needy of all sorts; and that being so, it is not +necessary for you, senora, to make any appeal to benevolence, or +deal in preambles, only to tell your woes plainly and +straightforwardly: for you have hearers that will know how, if not +to remedy them, to sympathise with them."</p> + +<p>On hearing this, the Distressed Duenna made as though she would +throw herself at Don Quixote's feet, and actually did fall before them +and said, as she strove to embrace them, "Before these feet and legs I +cast myself, O unconquered knight, as before, what they are, the +foundations and pillars of knight-errantry; these feet I desire to +kiss, for upon their steps hangs and depends the sole remedy for my +misfortune, O valorous errant, whose veritable achievements leave +behind and eclipse the fabulous ones of the Amadises, Esplandians, and +Belianises!" Then turning from Don Quixote to Sancho Panza, and +grasping his hands, she said, "O thou, most loyal squire that ever +served knight-errant in this present age or ages past, whose +goodness is more extensive than the beard of Trifaldin my companion +here of present, well mayest thou boast thyself that, in serving the +great Don Quixote, thou art serving, summed up in one, the whole +host of knights that have ever borne arms in the world. I conjure +thee, by what thou owest to thy most loyal goodness, that thou wilt +become my kind intercessor with thy master, that he speedily give +aid to this most humble and most unfortunate countess."</p> + +<p>To this Sancho made answer, "As to my goodness, senora, being as +long and as great as your squire's beard, it matters very little to +me; may I have my soul well bearded and moustached when it comes to +quit this life, that's the point; about beards here below I care +little or nothing; but without all these blandishments and prayers, +I will beg my master (for I know he loves me, and, besides, he has +need of me just now for a certain business) to help and aid your +worship as far as he can; unpack your woes and lay them before us, and +leave us to deal with them, for we'll be all of one mind."</p> + +<p>The duke and duchess, as it was they who had made the experiment +of this adventure, were ready to burst with laughter at all this, +and between themselves they commended the clever acting of the +Trifaldi, who, returning to her seat, said, "Queen Dona Maguncia +reigned over the famous kingdom of Kandy, which lies between the great +Trapobana and the Southern Sea, two leagues beyond Cape Comorin. She +was the widow of King Archipiela, her lord and husband, and of their +marriage they had issue the Princess Antonomasia, heiress of the +kingdom; which Princess Antonomasia was reared and brought up under my +care and direction, I being the oldest and highest in rank of her +mother's duennas. Time passed, and the young Antonomasia reached the +age of fourteen, and such a perfection of beauty, that nature could +not raise it higher. Then, it must not be supposed her intelligence +was childish; she was as intelligent as she was fair, and she was +fairer than all the world; and is so still, unless the envious fates +and hard-hearted sisters three have cut for her the thread of life. +But that they have not, for Heaven will not suffer so great a wrong to +Earth, as it would be to pluck unripe the grapes of the fairest +vineyard on its surface. Of this beauty, to which my poor feeble +tongue has failed to do justice, countless princes, not only of that +country, but of others, were enamoured, and among them a private +gentleman, who was at the court, dared to raise his thoughts to the +heaven of so great beauty, trusting to his youth, his gallant bearing, +his numerous accomplishments and graces, and his quickness and +readiness of wit; for I may tell your highnesses, if I am not wearying +you, that he played the guitar so as to make it speak, and he was, +besides, a poet and a great dancer, and he could make birdcages so +well, that by making them alone he might have gained a livelihood, had +he found himself reduced to utter poverty; and gifts and graces of +this kind are enough to bring down a mountain, not to say a tender +young girl. But all his gallantry, wit, and gaiety, all his graces and +accomplishments, would have been of little or no avail towards gaining +the fortress of my pupil, had not the impudent thief taken the +precaution of gaining me over first. First, the villain and +heartless vagabond sought to win my good-will and purchase my +compliance, so as to get me, like a treacherous warder, to deliver +up to him the keys of the fortress I had in charge. In a word, he +gained an influence over my mind, and overcame my resolutions with I +know not what trinkets and jewels he gave me; but it was some verses I +heard him singing one night from a grating that opened on the street +where he lived, that, more than anything else, made me give way and +led to my fall; and if I remember rightly they ran thus:</p> + +<pre> +From that sweet enemy of mine + My bleeding heart hath had its wound; + And to increase the pain I'm bound +To suffer and to make no sign. + +</pre> + +<p>The lines seemed pearls to me and his voice sweet as syrup; and +afterwards, I may say ever since then, looking at the misfortune +into which I have fallen, I have thought that poets, as Plato advised, +ought to be banished from all well-ordered States; at least the +amatory ones, for they write verses, not like those of 'The Marquis of +Mantua,' that delight and draw tears from the women and children, +but sharp-pointed conceits that pierce the heart like soft thorns, and +like the lightning strike it, leaving the raiment uninjured. Another +time he sang:</p> + +<pre> +Come Death, so subtly veiled that I + Thy coming know not, how or when, + Lest it should give me life again +To find how sweet it is to die. + +</pre> + +<p>-and other verses and burdens of the same sort, such as enchant when +sung and fascinate when written. And then, when they condescend to +compose a sort of verse that was at that time in vogue in Kandy, which +they call seguidillas! Then it is that hearts leap and laughter breaks +forth, and the body grows restless and all the senses turn +quicksilver. And so I say, sirs, that these troubadours richly deserve +to be banished to the isles of the lizards. Though it is not they that +are in fault, but the simpletons that extol them, and the fools that +believe in them; and had I been the faithful duenna I should have +been, his stale conceits would have never moved me, nor should I +have been taken in by such phrases as 'in death I live,' 'in ice I +burn,' 'in flames I shiver,' 'hopeless I hope,' 'I go and stay,' and +paradoxes of that sort which their writings are full of. And then when +they promise the Phoenix of Arabia, the crown of Ariadne, the horses +of the Sun, the pearls of the South, the gold of Tibar, and the balsam +of Panchaia! Then it is they give a loose to their pens, for it +costs them little to make promises they have no intention or power +of fulfilling. But where am I wandering to? Woe is me, unfortunate +being! What madness or folly leads me to speak of the faults of +others, when there is so much to be said about my own? Again, woe is +me, hapless that I am! it was not verses that conquered me, but my own +simplicity; it was not music made me yield, but my own imprudence; +my own great ignorance and little caution opened the way and cleared +the path for Don Clavijo's advances, for that was the name of the +gentleman I have referred to; and so, with my help as go-between, he +found his way many a time into the chamber of the deceived Antonomasia +(deceived not by him but by me) under the title of a lawful husband; +for, sinner though I was, would not have allowed him to approach the +edge of her shoe-sole without being her husband. No, no, not that; +marriage must come first in any business of this sort that I take in +hand. But there was one hitch in this case, which was that of +inequality of rank, Don Clavijo being a private gentleman, and the +Princess Antonomasia, as I said, heiress to the kingdom. The +entanglement remained for some time a secret, kept hidden by my +cunning precautions, until I perceived that a certain expansion of +waist in Antonomasia must before long disclose it, the dread of +which made us all there take counsel together, and it was agreed +that before the mischief came to light, Don Clavijo should demand +Antonomasia as his wife before the Vicar, in virtue of an agreement to +marry him made by the princess, and drafted by my wit in such +binding terms that the might of Samson could not have broken it. The +necessary steps were taken; the Vicar saw the agreement, and took +the lady's confession; she confessed everything in full, and he +ordered her into the custody of a very worthy alguacil of the court."</p> + +<p>"Are there alguacils of the court in Kandy, too," said Sancho at +this, "and poets, and seguidillas? I swear I think the world is the +same all over! But make haste, Senora Trifaldi; for it is late, and +I am dying to know the end of this long story."</p> + +<p>"I will," replied the countess.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p38e"></a><img alt="p38e.jpg (22K)" src="images/p38e.jpg" height="415" width="431"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch39b"></a>CHAPTER XXXIX.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND MEMORABLE STORY +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p39a"></a><img alt="p39a.jpg (96K)" src="images/p39a.jpg" height="380" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p39a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>By every word that Sancho uttered, the duchess was as much delighted +as Don Quixote was driven to desperation. He bade him hold his tongue, +and the Distressed One went on to say: "At length, after much +questioning and answering, as the princess held to her story, +without changing or varying her previous declaration, the Vicar gave +his decision in favour of Don Clavijo, and she was delivered over to +him as his lawful wife; which the Queen Dona Maguncia, the Princess +Antonomasia's mother, so took to heart, that within the space of three +days we buried her."</p> + +<p>"She died, no doubt," said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"Of course," said Trifaldin; "they don't bury living people in +Kandy, only the dead."</p> + +<p>"Senor Squire," said Sancho, "a man in a swoon has been known to +be buried before now, in the belief that he was dead; and it struck me +that Queen Maguncia ought to have swooned rather than died; because +with life a great many things come right, and the princess's folly was +not so great that she need feel it so keenly. If the lady had +married some page of hers, or some other servant of the house, as many +another has done, so I have heard say, then the mischief would have +been past curing. But to marry such an elegant accomplished +gentleman as has been just now described to us—indeed, indeed, though +it was a folly, it was not such a great one as you think; for +according to the rules of my master here—and he won't allow me to +lie—as of men of letters bishops are made, so of gentlemen knights, +specially if they be errant, kings and emperors may be made."</p> + +<p>"Thou art right, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for with a +knight-errant, if he has but two fingers' breadth of good fortune, +it is on the cards to become the mightiest lord on earth. But let +senora the Distressed One proceed; for I suspect she has got yet to +tell us the bitter part of this so far sweet story."</p> + +<p>"The bitter is indeed to come," said the countess; "and such +bitter that colocynth is sweet and oleander toothsome in comparison. +The queen, then, being dead, and not in a swoon, we buried her; and +hardly had we covered her with earth, hardly had we said our last +farewells, when, quis talia fando temperet a lachrymis? over the +queen's grave there appeared, mounted upon a wooden horse, the giant +Malambruno, Maguncia's first cousin, who besides being cruel is an +enchanter; and he, to revenge the death of his cousin, punish the +audacity of Don Clavijo, and in wrath at the contumacy of Antonomasia, +left them both enchanted by his art on the grave itself; she being +changed into an ape of brass, and he into a horrible crocodile of some +unknown metal; while between the two there stands a pillar, also of +metal, with certain characters in the Syriac language inscribed upon +it, which, being translated into Kandian, and now into Castilian, +contain the following sentence: 'These two rash lovers shall not +recover their former shape until the valiant Manchegan comes to do +battle with me in single combat; for the Fates reserve this unexampled +adventure for his mighty valour alone.' This done, he drew from its +sheath a huge broad scimitar, and seizing me by the hair he made as +though he meant to cut my throat and shear my head clean off. I was +terror-stricken, my voice stuck in my throat, and I was in the deepest +distress; nevertheless I summoned up my strength as well as I could, +and in a trembling and piteous voice I addressed such words to him +as induced him to stay the infliction of a punishment so severe. He +then caused all the duennas of the palace, those that are here +present, to be brought before him; and after having dwelt upon the +enormity of our offence, and denounced duennas, their characters, +their evil ways and worse intrigues, laying to the charge of all +what I alone was guilty of, he said he would not visit us with capital +punishment, but with others of a slow nature which would be in +effect civil death for ever; and the very instant he ceased speaking +we all felt the pores of our faces opening, and pricking us, as if +with the points of needles. We at once put our hands up to our faces +and found ourselves in the state you now see."</p> + +<p>Here the Distressed One and the other duennas raised the veils +with which they were covered, and disclosed countenances all bristling +with beards, some red, some black, some white, and some grizzled, at +which spectacle the duke and duchess made a show of being filled +with wonder. Don Quixote and Sancho were overwhelmed with amazement, +and the bystanders lost in astonishment, while the Trifaldi went on to +say: "Thus did that malevolent villain Malambruno punish us, +covering the tenderness and softness of our faces with these rough +bristles! Would to heaven that he had swept off our heads with his +enormous scimitar instead of obscuring the light of our countenances +with these wool-combings that cover us! For if we look into the +matter, sirs (and what I am now going to say I would say with eyes +flowing like fountains, only that the thought of our misfortune and +the oceans they have already wept, keep them as dry as barley +spears, and so I say it without tears), where, I ask, can a duenna +with a beard to to? What father or mother will feel pity for her? +Who will help her? For, if even when she has a smooth skin, and a face +tortured by a thousand kinds of washes and cosmetics, she can hardly +get anybody to love her, what will she do when she shows a +countenace turned into a thicket? Oh duennas, companions mine! it +was an unlucky moment when we were born and an ill-starred hour when +our fathers begot us!" And as she said this she showed signs of +being about to faint.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p39e"></a><img alt="p39e.jpg (27K)" src="images/p39e.jpg" height="673" width="395"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch40b"></a>CHAPTER XL.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND TO THIS +MEMORABLE HISTORY +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p40a"></a><img alt="p40a.jpg (129K)" src="images/p40a.jpg" height="443" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p40a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>Verily and truly all those who find pleasure in histories like +this ought show their gratitude to Cide Hamete, its original author, +for the scrupulous care he has taken to set before us all its minute +particulars, not leaving anything, however trifling it may be, that he +does not make clear and plain. He portrays the thoughts, he reveals +the fancies, he answers implied questions, clears up doubts, sets +objections at rest, and, in a word, makes plain the smallest points +the most inquisitive can desire to know. O renowned author! O happy +Don Quixote! O famous famous droll Sancho! All and each, may ye live +countless ages for the delight and amusement of the dwellers on earth!</p> + +<p>The history goes on to say that when Sancho saw the Distressed One +faint he exclaimed: "I swear by the faith of an honest man and the +shades of all my ancestors the Panzas, that never I did see or hear +of, nor has my master related or conceived in his mind, such an +adventure as this. A thousand devils—not to curse thee—take thee, +Malambruno, for an enchanter and a giant! Couldst thou find no other +sort of punishment for these sinners but bearding them? Would it not +have been better—it would have been better for them—to have taken +off half their noses from the middle upwards, even though they'd +have snuffled when they spoke, than to have put beards on them? I'll +bet they have not the means of paying anybody to shave them."</p> + +<p>"That is the truth, senor," said one of the twelve; "we have not the +money to get ourselves shaved, and so we have, some of us, taken to +using sticking-plasters by way of an economical remedy, for by +applying them to our faces and plucking them off with a jerk we are +left as bare and smooth as the bottom of a stone mortar. There are, to +be sure, women in Kandy that go about from house to house to remove +down, and trim eyebrows, and make cosmetics for the use of the +women, but we, the duennas of my lady, would never let them in, for +most of them have a flavour of agents that have ceased to be +principals; and if we are not relieved by Senor Don Quixote we shall +be carried to our graves with beards."</p> + +<p>"I will pluck out my own in the land of the Moors," said Don +Quixote, "if I don't cure yours."</p> + +<p>At this instant the Trifaldi recovered from her swoon and said, "The +chink of that promise, valiant knight, reached my ears in the midst of +my swoon, and has been the means of reviving me and bringing back my +senses; and so once more I implore you, illustrious errant, +indomitable sir, to let your gracious promises be turned into deeds."</p> + +<p>"There shall be no delay on my part," said Don Quixote. "Bethink +you, senora, of what I must do, for my heart is most eager to serve +you."</p> + +<p>"The fact is," replied the Distressed One, "it is five thousand +leagues, a couple more or less, from this to the kingdom of Kandy, +if you go by land; but if you go through the air and in a straight +line, it is three thousand two hundred and twenty-seven. You must +know, too, that Malambruno told me that, whenever fate provided the +knight our deliverer, he himself would send him a steed far better and +with less tricks than a post-horse; for he will be that same wooden +horse on which the valiant Pierres carried off the fair Magalona; +which said horse is guided by a peg he has in his forehead that serves +for a bridle, and flies through the air with such rapidity that you +would fancy the very devils were carrying him. This horse, according +to ancient tradition, was made by Merlin. He lent him to Pierres, +who was a friend of his, and who made long journeys with him, and, +as has been said, carried off the fair Magalona, bearing her through +the air on its haunches and making all who beheld them from the +earth gape with astonishment; and he never lent him save to those whom +he loved or those who paid him well; and since the great Pierres we +know of no one having mounted him until now. From him Malambruno stole +him by his magic art, and he has him now in his possession, and +makes use of him in his journeys which he constantly makes through +different parts of the world; he is here to-day, to-morrow in +France, and the next day in Potosi; and the best of it is the said +horse neither eats nor sleeps nor wears out shoes, and goes at an +ambling pace through the air without wings, so that he whom he has +mounted upon him can carry a cup full of water in his hand without +spilling a drop, so smoothly and easily does he go, for which reason +the fair Magalona enjoyed riding him greatly."</p> + +<p>"For going smoothly and easily," said Sancho at this, "give me my +Dapple, though he can't go through the air; but on the ground I'll +back him against all the amblers in the world."</p> + +<p>They all laughed, and the Distressed One continued: "And this same +horse, if so be that Malambruno is disposed to put an end to our +sufferings, will be here before us ere the night shall have advanced +half an hour; for he announced to me that the sign he would give me +whereby I might know that I had found the knight I was in quest of, +would be to send me the horse wherever he might be, speedily and +promptly."</p> + +<p>"And how many is there room for on this horse?" asked Sancho.</p> + +<p>"Two," said the Distressed One, "one in the saddle, and the other on +the croup; and generally these two are knight and squire, when there +is no damsel that's being carried off."</p> + +<p>"I'd like to know, Senora Distressed One," said Sancho, "what is the +name of this horse?"</p> + +<p>"His name," said the Distressed One, "is not the same as +Bellerophon's horse that was called Pegasus, or Alexander the Great's, +called Bucephalus, or Orlando Furioso's, the name of which was +Brigliador, nor yet Bayard, the horse of Reinaldos of Montalvan, nor +Frontino like Ruggiero's, nor Bootes or Peritoa, as they say the +horses of the sun were called, nor is he called Orelia, like the horse +on which the unfortunate Rodrigo, the last king of the Goths, rode +to the battle where he lost his life and his kingdom."</p> + +<p>"I'll bet," said Sancho, "that as they have given him none of +these famous names of well-known horses, no more have they given him +the name of my master's Rocinante, which for being apt surpasses all +that have been mentioned."</p> + +<p>"That is true," said the bearded countess, "still it fits him very +well, for he is called Clavileno the Swift, which name is in +accordance with his being made of wood, with the peg he has in his +forehead, and with the swift pace at which he travels; and so, as +far as name goes, he may compare with the famous Rocinante."</p> + +<p>"I have nothing to say against his name," said Sancho; "but with +what sort of bridle or halter is he managed?"</p> + +<p>"I have said already," said the Trifaldi, "that it is with a peg, by +turning which to one side or the other the knight who rides him +makes him go as he pleases, either through the upper air, or +skimming and almost sweeping the earth, or else in that middle +course that is sought and followed in all well-regulated proceedings."</p> + +<p>"I'd like to see him," said Sancho; "but to fancy I'm going to mount +him, either in the saddle or on the croup, is to ask pears of the +elm tree. A good joke indeed! I can hardly keep my seat upon Dapple, +and on a pack-saddle softer than silk itself, and here they'd have +me hold on upon haunches of plank without pad or cushion of any +sort! Gad, I have no notion of bruising myself to get rid of +anyone's beard; let each one shave himself as best he can; I'm not +going to accompany my master on any such long journey; besides, I +can't give any help to the shaving of these beards as I can to the +disenchantment of my lady Dulcinea."</p> + +<p>"Yes, you can, my friend," replied the Trifaldi; "and so much, +that without you, so I understand, we shall be able to do nothing."</p> + +<p>"In the king's name!" exclaimed Sancho, "what have squires got to do +with the adventures of their masters? Are they to have the fame of +such as they go through, and we the labour? Body o' me! if the +historians would only say, 'Such and such a knight finished such and +such an adventure, but with the help of so and so, his squire, without +which it would have been impossible for him to accomplish it;' but +they write curtly, "Don Paralipomenon of the Three Stars +accomplished the adventure of the six monsters;' without mentioning +such a person as his squire, who was there all the time, just as if +there was no such being. Once more, sirs, I say my master may go +alone, and much good may it do him; and I'll stay here in the +company of my lady the duchess; and maybe when he comes back, he +will find the lady Dulcinea's affair ever so much advanced; for I mean +in leisure hours, and at idle moments, to give myself a spell of +whipping without so much as a hair to cover me."</p> + +<p>"For all that you must go if it be necessary, my good Sancho," +said the duchess, "for they are worthy folk who ask you; and the faces +of these ladies must not remain overgrown in this way because of +your idle fears; that would be a hard case indeed."</p> + +<p>"In the king's name, once more!" said Sancho; "If this charitable +work were to be done for the sake of damsels in confinement or +charity-girls, a man might expose himself to some hardships; but to +bear it for the sake of stripping beards off duennas! Devil take it! +I'd sooner see them all bearded, from the highest to the lowest, and +from the most prudish to the most affected."</p> + +<p>"You are very hard on duennas, Sancho my friend," said the +duchess; "you incline very much to the opinion of the Toledo +apothecary. But indeed you are wrong; there are duennas in my house +that may serve as patterns of duennas; and here is my Dona +Rodriguez, who will not allow me to say otherwise."</p> + +<p>"Your excellence may say it if you like," said the Rodriguez; "for +God knows the truth of everything; and whether we duennas are good +or bad, bearded or smooth, we are our mothers' daughters like other +women; and as God sent us into the world, he knows why he did, and +on his mercy I rely, and not on anybody's beard."</p> + +<p>"Well, Senora Rodriguez, Senora Trifaldi, and present company," said +Don Quixote, "I trust in Heaven that it will look with kindly eyes +upon your troubles, for Sancho will do as I bid him. Only let +Clavileno come and let me find myself face to face with Malambruno, +and I am certain no razor will shave you more easily than my sword +shall shave Malambruno's head off his shoulders; for 'God bears with +the wicked, but not for ever."</p> + +<p>"Ah!" exclaimed the Distressed One at this, "may all the stars of +the celestial regions look down upon your greatness with benign +eyes, valiant knight, and shed every prosperity and valour upon your +heart, that it may be the shield and safeguard of the abused and +downtrodden race of duennas, detested by apothecaries, sneered at by +squires, and made game of by pages. Ill betide the jade that in the +flower of her youth would not sooner become a nun than a duenna! +Unfortunate beings that we are, we duennas! Though we may be descended +in the direct male line from Hector of Troy himself, our mistresses +never fail to address us as 'you' if they think it makes queens of +them. O giant Malambruno, though thou art an enchanter, thou art +true to thy promises. Send us now the peerless Clavileno, that our +misfortune may be brought to an end; for if the hot weather sets in +and these beards of ours are still there, alas for our lot!"</p> + +<p>The Trifaldi said this in such a pathetic way that she drew tears +from the eyes of all and even Sancho's filled up; and he resolved in +his heart to accompany his master to the uttermost ends of the +earth, if so be the removal of the wool from those venerable +countenances depended upon it.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p40e"></a><img alt="p40e.jpg (13K)" src="images/p40e.jpg" height="273" width="345"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch41b"></a>CHAPTER XLI.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF THE ARRIVAL OF CLAVILENO AND THE END OF THIS PROTRACTED ADVENTURE +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p41a"></a><img alt="p41a.jpg (138K)" src="images/p41a.jpg" height="433" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p41a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<p>And now night came, and with it the appointed time for the arrival +of the famous horse Clavileno, the non-appearance of which was already +beginning to make Don Quixote uneasy, for it struck him that, as +Malambruno was so long about sending it, either he himself was not the +knight for whom the adventure was reserved, or else Malambruno did not +dare to meet him in single combat. But lo! suddenly there came into +the garden four wild-men all clad in green ivy bearing on their +shoulders a great wooden horse. They placed it on its feet on the +ground, and one of the wild-men said, "Let the knight who has heart +for it mount this machine."</p> + +<p>Here Sancho exclaimed, "I don't mount, for neither have I the +heart nor am I a knight."</p> + +<p>"And let the squire, if he has one," continued the wild-man, "take +his seat on the croup, and let him trust the valiant Malambruno; for +by no sword save his, nor by the malice of any other, shall he be +assailed. It is but to turn this peg the horse has in his neck, and he +will bear them through the air to where Malambruno awaits them; but +lest the vast elevation of their course should make them giddy, +their eyes must be covered until the horse neighs, which will be the +sign of their having completed their journey."</p> + +<p>With these words, leaving Clavileno behind them, they retired with +easy dignity the way they came. As soon as the Distressed One saw +the horse, almost in tears she exclaimed to Don Quixote, "Valiant +knight, the promise of Malambruno has proved trustworthy; the horse +has come, our beards are growing, and by every hair in them all of +us implore thee to shave and shear us, as it is only mounting him with +thy squire and making a happy beginning with your new journey."</p> + +<p>"That I will, Senora Countess Trifaldi," said Don Quixote, "most +gladly and with right goodwill, without stopping to take a cushion +or put on my spurs, so as not to lose time, such is my desire to see +you and all these duennas shaved clean."</p> + +<p>"That I won't," said Sancho, "with good-will or bad-will, or any way +at all; and if this shaving can't be done without my mounting on the +croup, my master had better look out for another squire to go with +him, and these ladies for some other way of making their faces smooth; +I'm no witch to have a taste for travelling through the air. What +would my islanders say when they heard their governor was going, +strolling about on the winds? And another thing, as it is three +thousand and odd leagues from this to Kandy, if the horse tires, or +the giant takes huff, we'll be half a dozen years getting back, and +there won't be isle or island in the world that will know me: and +so, as it is a common saying 'in delay there's danger,' and 'when they +offer thee a heifer run with a halter,' these ladies' beards must +excuse me; 'Saint Peter is very well in Rome;' I mean I am very well +in this house where so much is made of me, and I hope for such a +good thing from the master as to see myself a governor."</p> + +<p>"Friend Sancho," said the duke at this, "the island that I have +promised you is not a moving one, or one that will run away; it has +roots so deeply buried in the bowels of the earth that it will be no +easy matter to pluck it up or shift it from where it is; you know as +well as I do that there is no sort of office of any importance that is +not obtained by a bribe of some kind, great or small; well then, +that which I look to receive for this government is that you go with +your master Don Quixote, and bring this memorable adventure to a +conclusion; and whether you return on Clavileno as quickly as his +speed seems to promise, or adverse fortune brings you back on foot +travelling as a pilgrim from hostel to hostel and from inn to inn, you +will always find your island on your return where you left it, and +your islanders with the same eagerness they have always had to receive +you as their governor, and my good-will will remain the same; doubt +not the truth of this, Senor Sancho, for that would be grievously +wronging my disposition to serve you."</p> + +<p>"Say no more, senor," said Sancho; "I am a poor squire and not equal +to carrying so much courtesy; let my master mount; bandage my eyes and +commit me to God's care, and tell me if I may commend myself to our +Lord or call upon the angels to protect me when we go towering up +there."</p> + +<p>To this the Trifaldi made answer, "Sancho, you may freely commend +yourself to God or whom you will; for Malambruno though an enchanter +is a Christian, and works his enchantments with great +circumspection, taking very good care not to fall out with anyone."</p> + +<p>"Well then," said Sancho, "God and the most holy Trinity of Gaeta +give me help!"</p> + +<p>"Since the memorable adventure of the fulling mills," said Don +Quixote, "I have never seen Sancho in such a fright as now; were I +as superstitious as others his abject fear would cause me some +little trepidation of spirit. But come here, Sancho, for with the +leave of these gentles I would say a word or two to thee in +private;" and drawing Sancho aside among the trees of the garden and +seizing both his hands he said, "Thou seest, brother Sancho, the +long journey we have before us, and God knows when we shall return, or +what leisure or opportunities this business will allow us; I wish thee +therefore to retire now to thy chamber, as though thou wert going to +fetch something required for the road, and in a trice give thyself +if it be only five hundred lashes on account of the three thousand +three hundred to which thou art bound; it will be all to the good, and +to make a beginning with a thing is to have it half finished."</p> + +<p>"By God," said Sancho, "but your worship must be out of your senses! +This is like the common saying, 'You see me with child, and you want +me a virgin.' Just as I'm about to go sitting on a bare board, your +worship would have me score my backside! Indeed, your worship is not +reasonable. Let us be off to shave these duennas; and on our return +I promise on my word to make such haste to wipe off all that's due +as will satisfy your worship; I can't say more."</p> + +<p>"Well, I will comfort myself with that promise, my good Sancho," +replied Don Quixote, "and I believe thou wilt keep it; for indeed +though stupid thou art veracious."</p> + +<p>"I'm not voracious," said Sancho, "only peckish; but even if I was a +little, still I'd keep my word."</p> + +<p>With this they went back to mount Clavileno, and as they were +about to do so Don Quixote said, "Cover thine eyes, Sancho, and mount; +for one who sends for us from lands so far distant cannot mean to +deceive us for the sake of the paltry glory to be derived from +deceiving persons who trust in him; though all should turn out the +contrary of what I hope, no malice will be able to dim the glory of +having undertaken this exploit."</p> + +<p>"Let us be off, senor," said Sancho, "for I have taken the beards +and tears of these ladies deeply to heart, and I shan't eat a bit to +relish it until I have seen them restored to their former +smoothness. Mount, your worship, and blindfold yourself, for if I am +to go on the croup, it is plain the rider in the saddle must mount +first."</p> + +<p>"That is true," said Don Quixote, and, taking a handkerchief out +of his pocket, he begged the Distressed One to bandage his eyes very +carefully; but after having them bandaged he uncovered them again, +saying, "If my memory does not deceive me, I have read in Virgil of +the Palladium of Troy, a wooden horse the Greeks offered to the +goddess Pallas, which was big with armed knights, who were +afterwards the destruction of Troy; so it would be as well to see, +first of all, what Clavileno has in his stomach."</p> + +<p>"There is no occasion," said the Distressed One; "I will be bail for +him, and I know that Malambruno has nothing tricky or treacherous +about him; you may mount without any fear, Senor Don Quixote; on my +head be it if any harm befalls you."</p> + +<p>Don Quixote thought that to say anything further with regard to +his safety would be putting his courage in an unfavourable light; +and so, without more words, he mounted Clavileno, and tried the peg, +which turned easily; and as he had no stirrups and his legs hung down, +he looked like nothing so much as a figure in some Roman triumph +painted or embroidered on a Flemish tapestry.</p> + +<p>Much against the grain, and very slowly, Sancho proceeded to +mount, and, after settling himself as well as he could on the croup, +found it rather hard, and not at all soft, and asked the duke if it +would be possible to oblige him with a pad of some kind, or a cushion; +even if it were off the couch of his lady the duchess, or the bed of +one of the pages; as the haunches of that horse were more like +marble than wood. On this the Trifaldi observed that Clavileno would +not bear any kind of harness or trappings, and that his best plan +would be to sit sideways like a woman, as in that way he would not +feel the hardness so much.</p> + +<p>Sancho did so, and, bidding them farewell, allowed his eyes to be +bandaged, but immediately afterwards uncovered them again, and looking +tenderly and tearfully on those in the garden, bade them help him in +his present strait with plenty of Paternosters and Ave Marias, that +God might provide some one to say as many for them, whenever they +found themselves in a similar emergency.</p> + +<p>At this Don Quixote exclaimed, "Art thou on the gallows, thief, or +at thy last moment, to use pitiful entreaties of that sort? +Cowardly, spiritless creature, art thou not in the very place the fair +Magalona occupied, and from which she descended, not into the grave, +but to become Queen of France; unless the histories lie? And I who +am here beside thee, may I not put myself on a par with the valiant +Pierres, who pressed this very spot that I now press? Cover thine +eyes, cover thine eyes, abject animal, and let not thy fear escape thy +lips, at least in my presence."</p> + +<p>"Blindfold me," said Sancho; "as you won't let me commend myself +or be commended to God, is it any wonder if I am afraid there is a +region of devils about here that will carry us off to Peralvillo?"</p> + +<p>They were then blindfolded, and Don Quixote, finding himself settled +to his satisfaction, felt for the peg, and the instant he placed his +fingers on it, all the duennas and all who stood by lifted up their +voices exclaiming, "God guide thee, valiant knight! God be with +thee, intrepid squire! Now, now ye go cleaving the air more swiftly +than an arrow! Now ye begin to amaze and astonish all who are gazing +at you from the earth! Take care not to wobble about, valiant +Sancho! Mind thou fall not, for thy fall will be worse than that +rash youth's who tried to steer the chariot of his father the Sun!"</p> + +<p>As Sancho heard the voices, clinging tightly to his master and +winding his arms round him, he said, "Senor, how do they make out we +are going up so high, if their voices reach us here and they seem to +be speaking quite close to us?"</p> + +<p>"Don't mind that, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "for as affairs of this +sort, and flights like this are out of the common course of things, +you can see and hear as much as you like a thousand leagues off; but +don't squeeze me so tight or thou wilt upset me; and really I know not +what thou hast to be uneasy or frightened at, for I can safely swear I +never mounted a smoother-going steed all the days of my life; one +would fancy we never stirred from one place. Banish fear, my friend, +for indeed everything is going as it ought, and we have the wind +astern."</p> + +<p>"That's true," said Sancho, "for such a strong wind comes against me +on this side, that it seems as if people were blowing on me with a +thousand pair of bellows;" which was the case; they were puffing at +him with a great pair of bellows; for the whole adventure was so +well planned by the duke, the duchess, and their majordomo, that +nothing was omitted to make it perfectly successful.</p> + +<p>Don Quixote now, feeling the blast, said, "Beyond a doubt, Sancho, +we must have already reached the second region of the air, where the +hail and snow are generated; the thunder, the lightning, and the +thunderbolts are engendered in the third region, and if we go on +ascending at this rate, we shall shortly plunge into the region of +fire, and I know not how to regulate this peg, so as not to mount up +where we shall be burned."</p> + +<p>And now they began to warm their faces, from a distance, with tow +that could be easily set on fire and extinguished again, fixed on +the end of a cane. On feeling the heat Sancho said, "May I die if we +are not already in that fire place, or very near it, for a good part +of my beard has been singed, and I have a mind, senor, to uncover +and see whereabouts we are."</p> + +<p>"Do nothing of the kind," said Don Quixote; "remember the true story +of the licentiate Torralva that the devils carried flying through +the air riding on a stick with his eyes shut; who in twelve hours +reached Rome and dismounted at Torre di Nona, which is a street of the +city, and saw the whole sack and storming and the death of Bourbon, +and was back in Madrid the next morning, where he gave an account of +all he had seen; and he said moreover that as he was going through the +air, the devil bade him open his eyes, and he did so, and saw +himself so near the body of the moon, so it seemed to him, that he +could have laid hold of it with his hand, and that he did not dare +to look at the earth lest he should be seized with giddiness. So that, +Sancho, it will not do for us to uncover ourselves, for he who has +us in charge will be responsible for us; and perhaps we are gaining an +altitude and mounting up to enable us to descend at one swoop on the +kingdom of Kandy, as the saker or falcon does on the heron, so as to +seize it however high it may soar; and though it seems to us not +half an hour since we left the garden, believe me we must have +travelled a great distance."</p> + +<p>"I don't know how that may be," said Sancho; "all I know is that +if the Senora Magallanes or Magalona was satisfied with this croup, +she could not have been very tender of flesh."</p> + +<p>The duke, the duchess, and all in the garden were listening to the +conversation of the two heroes, and were beyond measure amused by +it; and now, desirous of putting a finishing touch to this rare and +well-contrived adventure, they applied a light to Clavileno's tail +with some tow, and the horse, being full of squibs and crackers, +immediately blew up with a prodigious noise, and brought Don Quixote +and Sancho Panza to the ground half singed. By this time the bearded +band of duennas, the Trifaldi and all, had vanished from the garden, +and those that remained lay stretched on the ground as if in a +swoon. Don Quixote and Sancho got up rather shaken, and, looking about +them, were filled with amazement at finding themselves in the same +garden from which they had started, and seeing such a number of people +stretched on the ground; and their astonishment was increased when +at one side of the garden they perceived a tall lance planted in the +ground, and hanging from it by two cords of green silk a smooth +white parchment on which there was the following inscription in +large gold letters: "The illustrious knight Don Quixote of La Mancha +has, by merely attempting it, finished and concluded the adventure +of the Countess Trifaldi, otherwise called the Distressed Duenna; +Malambruno is now satisfied on every point, the chins of the duennas +are now smooth and clean, and King Don Clavijo and Queen Antonomasia +in their original form; and when the squirely flagellation shall +have been completed, the white dove shall find herself delivered +from the pestiferous gerfalcons that persecute her, and in the arms of +her beloved mate; for such is the decree of the sage Merlin, +arch-enchanter of enchanters."</p> + +<p>As soon as Don Quixote had read the inscription on the parchment +he perceived clearly that it referred to the disenchantment of +Dulcinea, and returning hearty thanks to heaven that he had with so +little danger achieved so grand an exploit as to restore to their +former complexion the countenances of those venerable duennas, he +advanced towards the duke and duchess, who had not yet come to +themselves, and taking the duke by the hand he said, "Be of good +cheer, worthy sir, be of good cheer; it's nothing at all; the +adventure is now over and without any harm done, as the inscription +fixed on this post shows plainly."</p> + +<p>The duke came to himself slowly and like one recovering +consciousness after a heavy sleep, and the duchess and all who had +fallen prostrate about the garden did the same, with such +demonstrations of wonder and amazement that they would have almost +persuaded one that what they pretended so adroitly in jest had +happened to them in reality. The duke read the placard with +half-shut eyes, and then ran to embrace Don Quixote with-open arms, +declaring him to be the best knight that had ever been seen in any +age. Sancho kept looking about for the Distressed One, to see what her +face was like without the beard, and if she was as fair as her elegant +person promised; but they told him that, the instant Clavileno +descended flaming through the air and came to the ground, the whole +band of duennas with the Trifaldi vanished, and that they were already +shaved and without a stump left.</p> + +<p>The duchess asked Sancho how he had fared on that long journey, to +which Sancho replied, "I felt, senora, that we were flying through the +region of fire, as my master told me, and I wanted to uncover my +eyes for a bit; but my master, when I asked leave to uncover myself, +would not let me; but as I have a little bit of curiosity about me, +and a desire to know what is forbidden and kept from me, quietly and +without anyone seeing me I drew aside the handkerchief covering my +eyes ever so little, close to my nose, and from underneath looked +towards the earth, and it seemed to me that it was altogether no +bigger than a grain of mustard seed, and that the men walking on it +were little bigger than hazel nuts; so you may see how high we must +have got to then."</p> + +<p>To this the duchess said, "Sancho, my friend, mind what you are +saying; it seems you could not have seen the earth, but only the men +walking on it; for if the earth looked to you like a grain of +mustard seed, and each man like a hazel nut, one man alone would +have covered the whole earth."</p> + +<p>"That is true," said Sancho, "but for all that I got a glimpse of +a bit of one side of it, and saw it all."</p> + +<p>"Take care, Sancho," said the duchess, "with a bit of one side one +does not see the whole of what one looks at."</p> + +<p>"I don't understand that way of looking at things," said Sancho; +"I only know that your ladyship will do well to bear in mind that as +we were flying by enchantment so I might have seen the whole earth and +all the men by enchantment whatever way I looked; and if you won't +believe this, no more will you believe that, uncovering myself +nearly to the eyebrows, I saw myself so close to the sky that there +was not a palm and a half between me and it; and by everything that +I can swear by, senora, it is mighty great! And it so happened we came +by where the seven goats are, and by God and upon my soul, as in my +youth I was a goatherd in my own country, as soon as I saw them I felt +a longing to be among them for a little, and if I had not given way to +it I think I'd have burst. So I come and take, and what do I do? +without saying anything to anybody, not even to my master, softly +and quietly I got down from Clavileno and amused myself with the +goats—which are like violets, like flowers—for nigh three-quarters +of an hour; and Clavileno never stirred or moved from one spot."</p> + +<p>"And while the good Sancho was amusing himself with the goats," said +the duke, "how did Senor Don Quixote amuse himself?"</p> + +<p>To which Don Quixote replied, "As all these things and such like +occurrences are out of the ordinary course of nature, it is no +wonder that Sancho says what he does; for my own part I can only say +that I did not uncover my eyes either above or below, nor did I see +sky or earth or sea or shore. It is true I felt that I was passing +through the region of the air, and even that I touched that of fire; +but that we passed farther I cannot believe; for the region of fire +being between the heaven of the moon and the last region of the air, +we could not have reached that heaven where the seven goats Sancho +speaks of are without being burned; and as we were not burned, +either Sancho is lying or Sancho is dreaming."</p> + +<p>"I am neither lying nor dreaming," said Sancho; "only ask me the +tokens of those same goats, and you'll see by that whether I'm telling +the truth or not."</p> + +<p>"Tell us them then, Sancho," said the duchess.</p> + +<p>"Two of them," said Sancho, "are green, two blood-red, two blue, and +one a mixture of all colours."</p> + +<p>"An odd sort of goat, that," said the duke; "in this earthly +region of ours we have no such colours; I mean goats of such colours."</p> + +<p>"That's very plain," said Sancho; "of course there must be a +difference between the goats of heaven and the goats of the earth."</p> + +<p>"Tell me, Sancho," said the duke, "did you see any he-goat among +those goats?"</p> + +<p>"No, senor," said Sancho; "but I have heard say that none ever +passed the horns of the moon."</p> + +<p>They did not care to ask him anything more about his journey, for +they saw he was in the vein to go rambling all over the heavens giving +an account of everything that went on there, without having ever +stirred from the garden. Such, in short, was the end of the +adventure of the Distressed Duenna, which gave the duke and duchess +laughing matter not only for the time being, but for all their +lives, and Sancho something to talk about for ages, if he lived so +long; but Don Quixote, coming close to his ear, said to him, +"Sancho, as you would have us believe what you saw in heaven, I +require you to believe me as to what I saw in the cave of +Montesinos; I say no more."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p41e"></a><img alt="p41e.jpg (38K)" src="images/p41e.jpg" height="603" width="525"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch42b"></a>CHAPTER XLII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE SET +OUT TO GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p42a"></a><img alt="p42a.jpg (120K)" src="images/p42a.jpg" height="438" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p42a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>The duke and duchess were so well pleased with the successful and +droll result of the adventure of the Distressed One, that they +resolved to carry on the joke, seeing what a fit subject they had to +deal with for making it all pass for reality. So having laid their +plans and given instructions to their servants and vassals how to +behave to Sancho in his government of the promised island, the next +day, that following Clavileno's flight, the duke told Sancho to +prepare and get ready to go and be governor, for his islanders were +already looking out for him as for the showers of May.</p> + +<p>Sancho made him an obeisance, and said, "Ever since I came down from +heaven, and from the top of it beheld the earth, and saw how little it +is, the great desire I had to be a governor has been partly cooled +in me; for what is there grand in being ruler on a grain of mustard +seed, or what dignity or authority in governing half a dozen men about +as big as hazel nuts; for, so far as I could see, there were no more +on the whole earth? If your lordship would be so good as to give me +ever so small a bit of heaven, were it no more than half a league, I'd +rather have it than the best island in the world."</p> + +<p>"Recollect, Sancho," said the duke, "I cannot give a bit of +heaven, no not so much as the breadth of my nail, to anyone; rewards +and favours of that sort are reserved for God alone. What I can give I +give you, and that is a real, genuine island, compact, well +proportioned, and uncommonly fertile and fruitful, where, if you +know how to use your opportunities, you may, with the help of the +world's riches, gain those of heaven."</p> + +<p>"Well then," said Sancho, "let the island come; and I'll try and +be such a governor, that in spite of scoundrels I'll go to heaven; and +it's not from any craving to quit my own humble condition or better +myself, but from the desire I have to try what it tastes like to be +a governor."</p> + +<p>"If you once make trial of it, Sancho," said the duke, "you'll eat +your fingers off after the government, so sweet a thing is it to +command and be obeyed. Depend upon it when your master comes to be +emperor (as he will beyond a doubt from the course his affairs are +taking), it will be no easy matter to wrest the dignity from him, +and he will be sore and sorry at heart to have been so long without +becoming one."</p> + +<p>"Senor," said Sancho, "it is my belief it's a good thing to be in +command, if it's only over a drove of cattle."</p> + +<p>"May I be buried with you, Sancho," said the duke, "but you know +everything; I hope you will make as good a governor as your sagacity +promises; and that is all I have to say; and now remember to-morrow is +the day you must set out for the government of the island, and this +evening they will provide you with the proper attire for you to +wear, and all things requisite for your departure."</p> + +<p>"Let them dress me as they like," said Sancho; "however I'm +dressed I'll be Sancho Panza."</p> + +<p>"That's true," said the duke; "but one's dress must be suited to the +office or rank one holds; for it would not do for a jurist to dress +like a soldier, or a soldier like a priest. You, Sancho, shall go +partly as a lawyer, partly as a captain, for, in the island I am +giving you, arms are needed as much as letters, and letters as much as +arms."</p> + +<p>"Of letters I know but little," said Sancho, "for I don't even +know the A B C; but it is enough for me to have the Christus in my +memory to be a good governor. As for arms, I'll handle those they give +me till I drop, and then, God be my help!"</p> + +<p>"With so good a memory," said the duke, "Sancho cannot go wrong in +anything."</p> + +<p>Here Don Quixote joined them; and learning what passed, and how soon +Sancho was to go to his government, he with the duke's permission took +him by the hand, and retired to his room with him for the purpose of +giving him advice as to how he was to demean himself in his office. As +soon as they had entered the chamber he closed the door after him, and +almost by force made Sancho sit down beside him, and in a quiet tone +thus addressed him: "I give infinite thanks to heaven, friend +Sancho, that, before I have met with any good luck, fortune has come +forward to meet thee. I who counted upon my good fortune to +discharge the recompense of thy services, find myself still waiting +for advancement, while thou, before the time, and contrary to all +reasonable expectation, seest thyself blessed in the fulfillment of +thy desires. Some will bribe, beg, solicit, rise early, entreat, +persist, without attaining the object of their suit; while another +comes, and without knowing why or wherefore, finds himself invested +with the place or office so many have sued for; and here it is that +the common saying, 'There is good luck as well as bad luck in +suits,' applies. Thou, who, to my thinking, art beyond all doubt a +dullard, without early rising or night watching or taking any trouble, +with the mere breath of knight-errantry that has breathed upon thee, +seest thyself without more ado governor of an island, as though it +were a mere matter of course. This I say, Sancho, that thou +attribute not the favour thou hast received to thine own merits, but +give thanks to heaven that disposes matters beneficently, and secondly +thanks to the great power the profession of knight-errantry contains +in itself. With a heart, then, inclined to believe what I have said to +thee, attend, my son, to thy Cato here who would counsel thee and be +thy polestar and guide to direct and pilot thee to a safe haven out of +this stormy sea wherein thou art about to ingulf thyself; for +offices and great trusts are nothing else but a mighty gulf of +troubles.</p> + +<p>"First of all, my son, thou must fear God, for in the fear of him is +wisdom, and being wise thou canst not err in aught.</p> + +<p>"Secondly, thou must keep in view what thou art, striving to know +thyself, the most difficult thing to know that the mind can imagine. +If thou knowest thyself, it will follow thou wilt not puff thyself +up like the frog that strove to make himself as large as the ox; if +thou dost, the recollection of having kept pigs in thine own country +will serve as the ugly feet for the wheel of thy folly."</p> + +<p>"That's the truth," said Sancho; "but that was when I was a boy; +afterwards when I was something more of a man it was geese I kept, not +pigs. But to my thinking that has nothing to do with it; for all who +are governors don't come of a kingly stock."</p> + +<p>"True," said Don Quixote, "and for that reason those who are not +of noble origin should take care that the dignity of the office they +hold he accompanied by a gentle suavity, which wisely managed will +save them from the sneers of malice that no station escapes.</p> + +<p>"Glory in thy humble birth, Sancho, and be not ashamed of saying +thou art peasant-born; for when it is seen thou art not ashamed no one +will set himself to put thee to the blush; and pride thyself rather +upon being one of lowly virtue than a lofty sinner. Countless are they +who, born of mean parentage, have risen to the highest dignities, +pontifical and imperial, and of the truth of this I could give thee +instances enough to weary thee.</p> + +<p>"Remember, Sancho, if thou make virtue thy aim, and take a pride +in doing virtuous actions, thou wilt have no cause to envy those who +have princely and lordly ones, for blood is an inheritance, but virtue +an acquisition, and virtue has in itself alone a worth that blood does +not possess.</p> + +<p>"This being so, if perchance anyone of thy kinsfolk should come to +see thee when thou art in thine island, thou art not to repel or +slight him, but on the contrary to welcome him, entertain him, and +make much of him; for in so doing thou wilt be approved of heaven +(which is not pleased that any should despise what it hath made), +and wilt comply with the laws of well-ordered nature.</p> + +<p>"If thou carriest thy wife with thee (and it is not well for those +that administer governments to be long without their wives), teach and +instruct her, and strive to smooth down her natural roughness; for all +that may be gained by a wise governor may be lost and wasted by a +boorish stupid wife.</p> + +<p>"If perchance thou art left a widower—a thing which may happen—and +in virtue of thy office seekest a consort of higher degree, choose not +one to serve thee for a hook, or for a fishing-rod, or for the hood of +thy 'won't have it;' for verily, I tell thee, for all the judge's wife +receives, the husband will be held accountable at the general +calling to account; where he will have repay in death fourfold, +items that in life he regarded as naught.</p> + +<p>"Never go by arbitrary law, which is so much favoured by ignorant +men who plume themselves on cleverness.</p> + +<p>"Let the tears of the poor man find with thee more compassion, but +not more justice, than the pleadings of the rich.</p> + +<p>"Strive to lay bare the truth, as well amid the promises and +presents of the rich man, as amid the sobs and entreaties of the poor.</p> + +<p>"When equity may and should be brought into play, press not the +utmost rigour of the law against the guilty; for the reputation of the +stern judge stands not higher than that of the compassionate.</p> + +<p>"If perchance thou permittest the staff of justice to swerve, let it +be not by the weight of a gift, but by that of mercy.</p> + +<p>"If it should happen thee to give judgment in the cause of one who +is thine enemy, turn thy thoughts away from thy injury and fix them on +the justice of the case.</p> + +<p>"Let not thine own passion blind thee in another man's cause; for +the errors thou wilt thus commit will be most frequently irremediable; +or if not, only to be remedied at the expense of thy good name and +even of thy fortune.</p> + +<p>"If any handsome woman come to seek justice of thee, turn away thine +eyes from her tears and thine ears from her lamentations, and consider +deliberately the merits of her demand, if thou wouldst not have thy +reason swept away by her weeping, and thy rectitude by her sighs.</p> + +<p>"Abuse not by word him whom thou hast to punish in deed, for the +pain of punishment is enough for the unfortunate without the +addition of thine objurgations.</p> + +<p>"Bear in mind that the culprit who comes under thy jurisdiction is +but a miserable man subject to all the propensities of our depraved +nature, and so far as may be in thy power show thyself lenient and +forbearing; for though the attributes of God are all equal, to our +eyes that of mercy is brighter and loftier than that of justice.</p> + +<p>"If thou followest these precepts and rules, Sancho, thy days will +be long, thy fame eternal, thy reward abundant, thy felicity +unutterable; thou wilt marry thy children as thou wouldst; they and +thy grandchildren will bear titles; thou wilt live in peace and +concord with all men; and, when life draws to a close, death will come +to thee in calm and ripe old age, and the light and loving hands of +thy great-grandchildren will close thine eyes.</p> + +<p>"What I have thus far addressed to thee are instructions for the +adornment of thy mind; listen now to those which tend to that of the +body."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p42e"></a><img alt="p42e.jpg (17K)" src="images/p42e.jpg" height="381" width="317"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch43b"></a>CHAPTER XLIII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF THE SECOND SET OF COUNSELS DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p43a"></a><img alt="p43a.jpg (129K)" src="images/p43a.jpg" height="432" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p43a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<p>Who, hearing the foregoing discourse of Don Quixote, would not +have set him down for a person of great good sense and greater +rectitude of purpose? But, as has been frequently observed in the +course of this great history, he only talked nonsense when he +touched on chivalry, and in discussing all other subjects showed +that he had a clear and unbiassed understanding; so that at every turn +his acts gave the lie to his intellect, and his intellect to his acts; +but in the case of these second counsels that he gave Sancho he showed +himself to have a lively turn of humour, and displayed conspicuously +his wisdom, and also his folly.</p> + +<p>Sancho listened to him with the deepest attention, and endeavoured +to fix his counsels in his memory, like one who meant to follow them +and by their means bring the full promise of his government to a happy +issue. Don Quixote, then, went on to say:</p> + +<p>"With regard to the mode in which thou shouldst govern thy person +and thy house, Sancho, the first charge I have to give thee is to be +clean, and to cut thy nails, not letting them grow as some do, whose +ignorance makes them fancy that long nails are an ornament to their +hands, as if those excrescences they neglect to cut were nails, and +not the talons of a lizard-catching kestrel—a filthy and unnatural +abuse.</p> + +<p>"Go not ungirt and loose, Sancho; for disordered attire is a sign of +an unstable mind, unless indeed the slovenliness and slackness is to +be set down to craft, as was the common opinion in the case of +Julius Caesar.</p> + +<p>"Ascertain cautiously what thy office may be worth; and if it will +allow thee to give liveries to thy servants, give them respectable and +serviceable, rather than showy and gay ones, and divide them between +thy servants and the poor; that is to say, if thou canst clothe six +pages, clothe three and three poor men, and thus thou wilt have +pages for heaven and pages for earth; the vainglorious never think +of this new mode of giving liveries.</p> + +<p>"Eat not garlic nor onions, lest they find out thy boorish origin by +the smell; walk slowly and speak deliberately, but not in such a way +as to make it seem thou art listening to thyself, for all +affectation is bad.</p> + +<p>"Dine sparingly and sup more sparingly still; for the health of +the whole body is forged in the workshop of the stomach.</p> + +<p>"Be temperate in drinking, bearing in mind that wine in excess keeps +neither secrets nor promises.</p> + +<p>"Take care, Sancho, not to chew on both sides, and not to eruct in +anybody's presence."</p> + +<p>"Eruct!" said Sancho; "I don't know what that means."</p> + +<p>"To eruct, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "means to belch, and that is +one of the filthiest words in the Spanish language, though a very +expressive one; and therefore nice folk have had recourse to the +Latin, and instead of belch say eruct, and instead of belches say +eructations; and if some do not understand these terms it matters +little, for custom will bring them into use in the course of time, +so that they will be readily understood; this is the way a language is +enriched; custom and the public are all-powerful there."</p> + +<p>"In truth, senor," said Sancho, "one of the counsels and cautions +I mean to bear in mind shall be this, not to belch, for I'm constantly +doing it."</p> + +<p>"Eruct, Sancho, not belch," said Don Quixote.</p> + +<p>"Eruct, I shall say henceforth, and I swear not to forget it," +said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"Likewise, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "thou must not mingle such a +quantity of proverbs in thy discourse as thou dost; for though +proverbs are short maxims, thou dost drag them in so often by the head +and shoulders that they savour more of nonsense than of maxims."</p> + +<p>"God alone can cure that," said Sancho; "for I have more proverbs in +me than a book, and when I speak they come so thick together into my +mouth that they fall to fighting among themselves to get out; that's +why my tongue lets fly the first that come, though they may not be pat +to the purpose. But I'll take care henceforward to use such as befit +the dignity of my office; for 'in a house where there's plenty, supper +is soon cooked,' and 'he who binds does not wrangle,' and 'the +bell-ringer's in a safe berth,' and 'giving and keeping require +brains.'"</p> + +<p>"That's it, Sancho!" said Don Quixote; "pack, tack, string +proverbs together; nobody is hindering thee! 'My mother beats me, +and I go on with my tricks.' I am bidding thee avoid proverbs, and +here in a second thou hast shot out a whole litany of them, which have +as much to do with what we are talking about as 'over the hills of +Ubeda.' Mind, Sancho, I do not say that a proverb aptly brought in +is objectionable; but to pile up and string together proverbs at +random makes conversation dull and vulgar.</p> + +<p>"When thou ridest on horseback, do not go lolling with thy body on +the back of the saddle, nor carry thy legs stiff or sticking out +from the horse's belly, nor yet sit so loosely that one would +suppose thou wert on Dapple; for the seat on a horse makes gentlemen +of some and grooms of others.</p> + +<p>"Be moderate in thy sleep; for he who does not rise early does not +get the benefit of the day; and remember, Sancho, diligence is the +mother of good fortune, and indolence, its opposite, never yet +attained the object of an honest ambition.</p> + +<p>"The last counsel I will give thee now, though it does not tend to +bodily improvement, I would have thee carry carefully in thy memory, +for I believe it will be no less useful to thee than those I have +given thee already, and it is this—never engage in a dispute about +families, at least in the way of comparing them one with another; +for necessarily one of those compared will be better than the other, +and thou wilt be hated by the one thou hast disparaged, and get +nothing in any shape from the one thou hast exalted.</p> + +<p>"Thy attire shall be hose of full length, a long jerkin, and a cloak +a trifle longer; loose breeches by no means, for they are becoming +neither for gentlemen nor for governors.</p> + +<p>"For the present, Sancho, this is all that has occurred to me to +advise thee; as time goes by and occasions arise my instructions shall +follow, if thou take care to let me know how thou art circumstanced."</p> + +<p>"Senor," said Sancho, "I see well enough that all these things +your worship has said to me are good, holy, and profitable; but what +use will they be to me if I don't remember one of them? To be sure +that about not letting my nails grow, and marrying again if I have the +chance, will not slip out of my head; but all that other hash, muddle, +and jumble—I don't and can't recollect any more of it than of last +year's clouds; so it must be given me in writing; for though I can't +either read or write, I'll give it to my confessor, to drive it into +me and remind me of it whenever it is necessary."</p> + +<p>"Ah, sinner that I am!" said Don Quixote, "how bad it looks in +governors not to know how to read or write; for let me tell thee, +Sancho, when a man knows not how to read, or is left-handed, it argues +one of two things; either that he was the son of exceedingly mean +and lowly parents, or that he himself was so incorrigible and +ill-conditioned that neither good company nor good teaching could make +any impression on him. It is a great defect that thou labourest under, +and therefore I would have thee learn at any rate to sign thy name." + "I can sign my name well enough," said Sancho, "for when I was +steward of the brotherhood in my village I learned to make certain +letters, like the marks on bales of goods, which they told me made out +my name. Besides I can pretend my right hand is disabled and make some +one else sign for me, for 'there's a remedy for everything except +death;' and as I shall be in command and hold the staff, I can do as I +like; moreover, 'he who has the alcalde for his father-,' and I'll +be governor, and that's higher than alcalde. Only come and see! Let +them make light of me and abuse me; 'they'll come for wool and go back +shorn;' 'whom God loves, his house is known to Him;' 'the silly +sayings of the rich pass for saws in the world;' and as I'll be +rich, being a governor, and at the same time generous, as I mean to +be, no fault will be seen in me. 'Only make yourself honey and the +flies will suck you;' 'as much as thou hast so much art thou worth,' +as my grandmother used to say; and 'thou canst have no revenge of a +man of substance.'"</p> + +<p>"Oh, God's curse upon thee, Sancho!" here exclaimed Don Quixote; +"sixty thousand devils fly away with thee and thy proverbs! For the +last hour thou hast been stringing them together and inflicting the +pangs of torture on me with every one of them. Those proverbs will +bring thee to the gallows one day, I promise thee; thy subjects will +take the government from thee, or there will be revolts among them. +Tell me, where dost thou pick them up, thou booby? How dost thou apply +them, thou blockhead? For with me, to utter one and make it apply +properly, I have to sweat and labour as if I were digging."</p> + +<p>"By God, master mine," said Sancho, "your worship is making a fuss +about very little. Why the devil should you be vexed if I make use +of what is my own? And I have got nothing else, nor any other stock in +trade except proverbs and more proverbs; and here are three just +this instant come into my head, pat to the purpose and like pears in a +basket; but I won't repeat them, for 'sage silence is called Sancho.'"</p> + +<p>"That, Sancho, thou art not," said Don Quixote; "for not only art +thou not sage silence, but thou art pestilent prate and perversity; +still I would like to know what three proverbs have just now come into +thy memory, for I have been turning over mine own—and it is a good +one—and none occurs to me."</p> + +<p>"What can be better," said Sancho, "than 'never put thy thumbs +between two back teeth;' and 'to "get out of my house" and "what do +you want with my wife?" there is no answer;' and 'whether the +pitcher hits the stove, or the stove the pitcher, it's a bad +business for the pitcher;' all which fit to a hair? For no one +should quarrel with his governor, or him in authority over him, +because he will come off the worst, as he does who puts his finger +between two back and if they are not back teeth it makes no +difference, so long as they are teeth; and to whatever the governor +may say there's no answer, any more than to 'get out of my house' +and 'what do you want with my wife?' and then, as for that about the +stone and the pitcher, a blind man could see that. So that he 'who +sees the mote in another's eye had need to see the beam in his own,' +that it be not said of himself, 'the dead woman was frightened at +the one with her throat cut;' and your worship knows well that 'the +fool knows more in his own house than the wise man in another's.'"</p> + +<p>"Nay, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the fool knows nothing, either +in his own house or in anybody else's, for no wise structure of any +sort can stand on a foundation of folly; but let us say no more +about it, Sancho, for if thou governest badly, thine will be the fault +and mine the shame; but I comfort myself with having done my duty in +advising thee as earnestly and as wisely as I could; and thus I am +released from my obligations and my promise. God guide thee, Sancho, +and govern thee in thy government, and deliver me from the misgiving I +have that thou wilt turn the whole island upside down, a thing I might +easily prevent by explaining to the duke what thou art and telling him +that all that fat little person of thine is nothing else but a sack +full of proverbs and sauciness."</p> + +<p>"Senor," said Sancho, "if your worship thinks I'm not fit for this +government, I give it up on the spot; for the mere black of the nail +of my soul is dearer to me than my whole body; and I can live just +as well, simple Sancho, on bread and onions, as governor, on +partridges and capons; and what's more, while we're asleep we're all +equal, great and small, rich and poor. But if your worship looks +into it, you will see it was your worship alone that put me on to this +business of governing; for I know no more about the government of +islands than a buzzard; and if there's any reason to think that +because of my being a governor the devil will get hold of me, I'd +rather go Sancho to heaven than governor to hell."</p> + +<p>"By God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for those last words thou +hast uttered alone, I consider thou deservest to be governor of a +thousand islands. Thou hast good natural instincts, without which no +knowledge is worth anything; commend thyself to God, and try not to +swerve in the pursuit of thy main object; I mean, always make it thy +aim and fixed purpose to do right in all matters that come before +thee, for heaven always helps good intentions; and now let us go to +dinner, for I think my lord and lady are waiting for us."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p43e"></a><img alt="p43e.jpg (41K)" src="images/p43e.jpg" height="693" width="475"> +</center> + + + + +<br> +<br> + + + +<center> +<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3> +<tr><td> + <a href="p29.htm">Previous Part</a> +</td><td> + <a href="5946-h.htm">Main Index</a> +</td><td> + <a href="p31.htm">Next Part</a> + </td></tr> +</table> +</center> +<br><br> + +</body> +</html> + |