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diff --git a/5935.txt b/5935.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7ff39ce --- /dev/null +++ b/5935.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1180 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part +32, by Miguel de Cervantes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 32 + +Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra + +Release Date: July 25, 2004 [EBook #5935] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + DON QUIXOTE + + Volume II. + + Part 32. + + by Miguel de Cervantes + + + Translated by John Ormsby + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + +OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THE COURSE OF +THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING + + +We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of the +enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bed with them, +and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get a moment's rest, +and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. But as Time is +fleet and no obstacle can stay his course, he came riding on the hours, +and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which Don Quixote quitted the soft +down, and, nowise slothful, dressed himself in his chamois suit and put +on his travelling boots to hide the disaster to his stockings. He threw +over him his scarlet mantle, put on his head a montera of green velvet +trimmed with silver edging, flung across his shoulder the baldric with +his good trenchant sword, took up a large rosary that he always carried +with him, and with great solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the +antechamber where the duke and duchess were already dressed and waiting +for him. But as he passed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other +damsel, her friend, were lying in wait for him, and the instant +Altisidora saw him she pretended to faint, while her friend caught her in +her lap, and began hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress. + +Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, "I know very well +what this seizure arises from." + +"I know not from what," replied the friend, "for Altisidora is the +healthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her complain +all the time I have known her. A plague on all the knights-errant in the +world, if they be all ungrateful! Go away, Senor Don Quixote; for this +poor child will not come to herself again so long as you are here." + +To which Don Quixote returned, "Do me the favour, senora, to let a lute +be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poor maiden to +the best of my power; for in the early stages of love a prompt +disillusion is an approved remedy;" and with this he retired, so as not +to be remarked by any who might see him there. + +He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from her swoon, +said to her companion, "The lute must be left, for no doubt Don Quixote +intends to give us some music; and being his it will not be bad." + +They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of the +lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, plotted +with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that should be +amusing but harmless; and in high glee they waited for night, which came +quickly as the day had come; and as for the day, the duke and duchess +spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote. + +When eleven o'clock came, Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber; he +tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were walking +in the garden; and having passed his fingers over the frets of the guitar +and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his chest, and then +with a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang the following +ballad, which he had himself that day composed: + +Mighty Love the hearts of maidens + Doth unsettle and perplex, +And the instrument he uses + Most of all is idleness. + +Sewing, stitching, any labour, + Having always work to do, +To the poison Love instilleth + Is the antidote most sure. + +And to proper-minded maidens + Who desire the matron's name +Modesty's a marriage portion, + Modesty their highest praise. + +Men of prudence and discretion, + Courtiers gay and gallant knights, +With the wanton damsels dally, + But the modest take to wife. + +There are passions, transient, fleeting, + Loves in hostelries declar'd, +Sunrise loves, with sunset ended, + When the guest hath gone his way. + +Love that springs up swift and sudden, + Here to-day, to-morrow flown, +Passes, leaves no trace behind it, + Leaves no image on the soul. + +Painting that is laid on painting + Maketh no display or show; +Where one beauty's in possession + There no other can take hold. + +Dulcinea del Toboso + Painted on my heart I wear; +Never from its tablets, never, + Can her image be eras'd. + +The quality of all in lovers + Most esteemed is constancy; +'T is by this that love works wonders, + This exalts them to the skies. + +Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the duchess, +Altisidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were listening, +when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was exactly over his +window they let down a cord with more than a hundred bells attached to +it, and immediately after that discharged a great sack full of cats, +which also had bells of smaller size tied to their tails. Such was the +din of the bells and the squalling of the cats, that though the duke and +duchess were the contrivers of the joke they were startled by it, while +Don Quixote stood paralysed with fear; and as luck would have it, two or +three of the cats made their way in through the grating of his chamber, +and flying from one side to the other, made it seem as if there was a +legion of devils at large in it. They extinguished the candles that were +burning in the room, and rushed about seeking some way of escape; the +cord with the large bells never ceased rising and falling; and most of +the people of the castle, not knowing what was really the matter, were at +their wits' end with astonishment. Don Quixote sprang to his feet, and +drawing his sword, began making passes at the grating, shouting out, +"Avaunt, malignant enchanters! avaunt, ye witchcraft-working rabble! I am +Don Quixote of La Mancha, against whom your evil machinations avail not +nor have any power." And turning upon the cats that were running about +the room, he made several cuts at them. They dashed at the grating and +escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard pressed by the slashes +of Don Quixote's sword, flew at his face and held on to his nose tooth +and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his loudest. The duke +and duchess hearing this, and guessing what it was, ran with all haste to +his room, and as the poor gentleman was striving with all his might to +detach the cat from his face, they opened the door with a master-key and +went in with lights and witnessed the unequal combat. The duke ran +forward to part the combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, "Let no +one take him from me; leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, +this enchanter; I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha +is." The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held on; +but at last the duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. Don +Quixote was left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a nose not +in very good condition, and greatly vexed that they did not let him +finish the battle he had been so stoutly fighting with that villain of an +enchanter. They sent for some oil of John's wort, and Altisidora herself +with her own fair hands bandaged all the wounded parts; and as she did so +she said to him in a low voice. "All these mishaps have befallen thee, +hardhearted knight, for the sin of thy insensibility and obstinacy; and +God grant thy squire Sancho may forget to whip himself, so that that +dearly beloved Dulcinea of thine may never be released from her +enchantment, that thou mayest never come to her bed, at least while I who +adore thee am alive." + +To all this Don Quixote made no answer except to heave deep sighs, and +then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the duke and duchess for +their kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that bell-ringing +rabble of enchanters in cat shape, but because he recognised their good +intentions in coming to his rescue. The duke and duchess left him to +repose and withdrew greatly grieved at the unfortunate result of the +joke; as they never thought the adventure would have fallen so heavy on +Don Quixote or cost him so dear, for it cost him five days of confinement +to his bed, during which he had another adventure, pleasanter than the +late one, which his chronicler will not relate just now in order that he +may turn his attention to Sancho Panza, who was proceeding with great +diligence and drollery in his government. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA CONDUCTED HIMSELF IN +HIS GOVERNMENT + + +The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho to a +sumptuous palace, where in a spacious chamber there was a table laid out +with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, +and four pages came forward to present him with water for his hands, +which Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and Sancho +seated himself at the head of the table, for there was only that seat +placed, and no more than one cover laid. A personage, who it appeared +afterwards was a physician, placed himself standing by his side with a +whalebone wand in his hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth +covering fruit and a great variety of dishes of different sorts; one who +looked like a student said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, +while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit +before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel when the man with the wand +touched the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with the +utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and +Sancho proceeded to try it; but before he could get at it, not to say +taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried it off +with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled, +and looking from one to another asked if this dinner was to be eaten +after the fashion of a jugglery trick. + +To this he with the wand replied, "It is not to be eaten, senor governor, +except as is usual and customary in other islands where there are +governors. I, senor, am a physician, and I am paid a salary in this +island to serve its governors as such, and I have a much greater regard +for their health than for my own, studying day and night and making +myself acquainted with the governor's constitution, in order to be able +to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend +at his dinners and suppers and allow him to eat what appears to me to be +fit for him, and keep from him what I think will do him harm and be +injurious to his stomach; and therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to +be removed as being too moist, and that other dish I ordered to be +removed as being too hot and containing many spices that stimulate +thirst; for he who drinks much kills and consumes the radical moisture +wherein life consists." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "that dish of roast partridges there that seems +so savoury will not do me any harm." + +To this the physician replied, "Of those my lord the governor shall not +eat so long as I live." + +"Why so?" said Sancho. + +"Because," replied the doctor, "our master Hippocrates, the polestar and +beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms omnis saturatio mala, +perdicis autem pessima, which means 'all repletion is bad, but that of +partridge is the worst of all." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "let senor doctor see among the dishes that +are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, and let me eat +it, without tapping it with his stick; for by the life of the governor, +and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I'm dying of hunger; and in +spite of the doctor and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to +take my life instead of prolonging it." + +"Your worship is right, senor governor," said the physician; "and +therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewed +rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food; if that veal were not +roasted and served with pickles, you might try it; but it is out of the +question." + +"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho, "seems to me to +be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in such ollas, I +can't fail to light upon something tasty and good for me." + +"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base thought! There is +nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; to canons, or +rectors of colleges, or peasants' weddings with your ollas podridas, but +let us have none of them on the tables of governors, where everything +that is present should be delicate and refined; and the reason is, that +always, everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed +than compound ones, for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, +while in the compound we may, by merely altering the quantity of the +things composing them. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat +now in order to preserve and fortify his health is a hundred or so of +wafer cakes and a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will +settle his stomach and help his digestion." + +Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and surveyed the +doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him what his name was and +where he had studied. + +He replied, "My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio de Aguero I +am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which lies between Caracuel and +Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side, and I have the degree of +doctor from the university of Osuna." + +To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, "Then let Doctor +Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that's on the +right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar del Campo, graduate +of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swear by the sun I'll take +a cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning with him, I'll not leave a +doctor in the whole island; at least of those I know to be ignorant; for +as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will reverence and +honour as divine persons. Once more I say let Pedro Recio get out of this +or I'll take this chair I am sitting on and break it over his head. And +if they call me to account for it, I'll clear myself by saying I served +God in killing a bad doctor--a general executioner. And now give me +something to eat, or else take your government; for a trade that does not +feed its master is not worth two beans." + +The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a passion, and +he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but that the same +instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carver putting his +head out of the window turned round and said, "It's a courier from my +lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch of importance." + +The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper from +his bosom, placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it to the +majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: To Don +Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his own hands or +those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said, "Which of you is +my secretary?" "I am, senor," said one of those present, "for I can read +and write, and am a Biscayan." "With that addition," said Sancho, "you +might be secretary to the emperor himself; open this paper and see what +it says." The new-born secretary obeyed, and having read the contents +said the matter was one to be discussed in private. Sancho ordered the +chamber to be cleared, the majordomo and the carver only remaining; so +the doctor and the others withdrew, and then the secretary read the +letter, which was as follows: + + +It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certain enemies +of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack upon it some +night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alert and keep watch, +that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy spies that four +persons have entered the town in disguise in order to take your life, +because they stand in dread of your great capacity; keep your eyes open +and take heed who approaches you to address you, and eat nothing that is +presented to you. I will take care to send you aid if you find yourself +in difficulty, but in all things you will act as may be expected of your +judgment. From this place, the Sixteenth of August, at four in the +morning. + +Your friend, + +THE DUKE + + +Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to be so too, +and turning to the majordomo he said to him, "What we have got to do +first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio in the +lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow death and +the worst of all, which is hunger." + +"Likewise," said the carver, "it is my opinion your worship should not +eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present from some +nuns; and as they say, 'behind the cross there's the devil.'" + +"I don't deny it," said Sancho; "so for the present give me a piece of +bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can come in them; for +the fact is I can't go on without eating; and if we are to be prepared +for these battles that are threatening us we must be well provisioned; +for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not the heart the tripes. +And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke and tell him that all his +commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as he directs; and say from me to +my lady the duchess that I kiss her hands, and that I beg of her not to +forget to send my letter and bundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a +messenger; and I will take it as a great favour and will not fail to +serve her in all that may lie within my power; and as you are about it +you may enclose a kiss of the hand to my master Don Quixote that he may +see I am grateful bread; and as a good secretary and a good Biscayan you +may add whatever you like and whatever will come in best; and now take +away this cloth and give me something to eat, and I'll be ready to meet +all the spies and assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my +island." + +At this instant a page entered saying, "Here is a farmer on business, who +wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great importance, he +says." + +"It's very odd," said Sancho, "the ways of these men on business; is it +possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like this is +no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are judges--are +we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be allowed the time +required for taking rest, unless they'd have us made of marble? By God +and on my conscience, if the government remains in my hands (which I have +a notion it won't), I'll bring more than one man on business to order. +However, tell this good man to come in; but take care first of all that +he is not some spy or one of my assassins." + +"No, my lord," said the page, "for he looks like a simple fellow, and +either I know very little or he is as good as good bread." + +"There is nothing to be afraid of," said the majordomo, "for we are all +here." + +"Would it be possible, carver," said Sancho, "now that Doctor Pedro Recio +is not here, to let me eat something solid and substantial, if it were +even a piece of bread and an onion?" + +"To-night at supper," said the carver, "the shortcomings of the dinner +shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully contented." + +"God grant it," said Sancho. + +The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see a thousand +leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first thing he said +was, "Which is the lord governor here?" + +"Which should it be," said the secretary, "but he who is seated in the +chair?" + +"Then I humble myself before him," said the farmer; and going on his +knees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and bade him +stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said, "I am +a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village two leagues from +Ciudad Real." + +"Another Tirteafuera!" said Sancho; "say on, brother; I know Miguelturra +very well I can tell you, for it's not very far from my own town." + +"The case is this, senor," continued the farmer, "that by God's mercy I +am married with the leave and licence of the holy Roman Catholic Church; +I have two sons, students, and the younger is studying to become +bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am a widower, for my wife +died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor killed her on my hands, +giving her a purge when she was with child; and if it had pleased God +that the child had been born, and was a boy, I would have put him to +study for doctor, that he might not envy his brothers the bachelor and +the licentiate." + +"So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you would not +now be a widower," said Sancho. + +"No, senor, certainly not," said the farmer. + +"We've got that much settled," said Sancho; "get on, brother, for it's +more bed-time than business-time." + +"Well then," said the farmer, "this son of mine who is going to be a +bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara +Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; and this +name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry or descent, but +because all the family are paralytics, and for a better name they call +them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel is as fair as an +Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you look at her on the +right side; on the left not so much, for on that side she wants an eye +that she lost by small-pox; and though her face is thickly and deeply +pitted, those who love her say they are not pits that are there, but the +graves where the hearts of her lovers are buried. She is so cleanly that +not to soil her face she carries her nose turned up, as they say, so that +one would fancy it was running away from her mouth; and with all this she +looks extremely well, for she has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten +or a dozen teeth and grinders she might compare and compete with the +comeliest. Of her lips I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, +if lips might be reeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a +different colour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are +mottled, blue, green, and purple--let my lord the governor pardon me for +painting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other will be my +daughter; for I love her, and I don't find her amiss." + +"Paint what you will," said Sancho; "I enjoy your painting, and if I had +dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than your portrait." + +"That I have still to furnish," said the farmer; "but a time will come +when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor, if I +could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure, it would astonish you; +but that is impossible because she is bent double with her knees up to +her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see that if she could stand up +she'd knock her head against the ceiling; and she would have given her +hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she can't stretch it out, for +it's contracted; but still one can see its elegance and fine make by its +long furrowed nails." + +"That will do, brother," said Sancho; "consider you have painted her from +head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the point without all this +beating about the bush, and all these scraps and additions." + +"I want your worship, senor," said the farmer, "to do me the favour of +giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father, begging him to +be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we are not ill-matched +either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; for to tell the truth, senor +governor, my son is possessed of a devil, and there is not a day but the +evil spirits torment him three or four times; and from having once fallen +into the fire, he has his face puckered up like a piece of parchment, and +his eyes watery and always running; but he has the disposition of an +angel, and if it was not for belabouring and pummelling himself he'd be a +saint." + +"Is there anything else you want, good man?" said Sancho. + +"There's another thing I'd like," said the farmer, "but I'm afraid to +mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can't let it be rotting +in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like your worship to +give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to my bachelor's +portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, in short, live +by themselves, without being subject to the interferences of their +fathers-in-law." + +"Just see if there's anything else you'd like," said Sancho, "and don't +hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty." + +"No, indeed there is not," said the farmer. + +The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, and seizing the +chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, "By all that's good, you +ill-bred, boorish Don Bumpkin, if you don't get out of this at once and +hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your head open with this chair. You +whoreson rascal, you devil's own painter, and is it at this hour you come +to ask me for six hundred ducats! How should I have them, you stinking +brute? And why should I give them to you if I had them, you knave and +blockhead? What have I to do with Miguelturra or the whole family of the +Perlerines? Get out I say, or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as +I said. You're not from Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell +to tempt me. Why, you villain, I have not yet had the government half a +day, and you want me to have six hundred ducats already!" + +The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he did with +his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the governor should +carry his threats into effect, for the rogue knew very well how to play +his part. + +But let us leave Sancho in his wrath, and peace be with them all; and let +us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with his face bandaged and +doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not cured for eight days; +and on one of these there befell him what Cide Hamete promises to relate +with that exactitude and truth with which he is wont to set forth +everything connected with this great history, however minute it may be. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + +OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS'S DUENNA, +TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL REMEMBRANCE + + +Exceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, with +his face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by the claws of +a cat, mishaps incidental to knight-errantry. + +Six days he remained without appearing in public, and one night as he lay +awake thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisidora's pursuit of him, he +perceived that some one was opening the door of his room with a key, and +he at once made up his mind that the enamoured damsel was coming to make +an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in the +fidelity he owed to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "No," said he, firmly +persuaded of the truth of his idea (and he said it loud enough to be +heard), "the greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make me +renounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped and graved in the core +of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels; be thou, lady mine, +transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a nymph of golden Tagus +weaving a web of silk and gold, let Merlin or Montesinos hold thee +captive where they will; whereer thou art, thou art mine, and where'er I +am, must be thine." The very instant he had uttered these words, the door +opened. He stood up on the bed wrapped from head to foot in a yellow +satin coverlet, with a cap on his head, and his face and his moustaches +tied up, his face because of the scratches, and his moustaches to keep +them from drooping and falling down, in which trim he looked the most +extraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixed +on the door, and just as he was expecting to see the love-smitten and +unhappy Altisidora make her appearance, he saw coming in a most venerable +duenna, in a long white-bordered veil that covered and enveloped her from +head to foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short +lighted candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from +her eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size, and she +advanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly. + +Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and observing her +costume and noting her silence, he concluded that it must be some witch +or sorceress that was coming in such a guise to work him some mischief, +and he began crossing himself at a great rate. The spectre still +advanced, and on reaching the middle of the room, looked up and saw the +energy with which Don Quixote was crossing himself; and if he was scared +by seeing such a figure as hers, she was terrified at the sight of his; +for the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and the +bandages that disfigured him, she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming, +"Jesus! what's this I see?" let fall the candle in her fright, and then +finding herself in the dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling on +her skirts in her consternation, she measured her length with a mighty +fall. + +Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying, "I conjure thee, phantom, or +whatever thou art, tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me. +If thou art a soul in torment, say so, and all that my powers can do I +will do for thee; for I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good to +all the world, and to this end I have embraced the order of +knight-errantry to which I belong, the province of which extends to doing +good even to souls in purgatory." + +The unfortunate duenna hearing herself thus conjured, by her own fear +guessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered, "Senor Don +Quixote--if so be you are indeed Don Quixote--I am no phantom or spectre +or soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but Dona Rodriguez, duenna of +honour to my lady the duchess, and I come to you with one of those +grievances your worship is wont to redress." + +"Tell me, Senora Dona Rodriguez," said Don Quixote, "do you perchance +come to transact any go-between business? Because I must tell you I am +not available for anybody's purpose, thanks to the peerless beauty of my +lady Dulcinea del Toboso. In short, Senora Dona Rodriguez, if you will +leave out and put aside all love messages, you may go and light your +candle and come back, and we will discuss all the commands you have for +me and whatever you wish, saving only, as I said, all seductive +communications." + +"I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little you know me. +Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such childish +tricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, and all my teeth +and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the colds, so common in +this Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait a little, while I go and +light my candle, and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows before +you as before one who relieves those of all the world;" and without +staying for an answer she quitted the room and left Don Quixote +tranquilly meditating while he waited for her. A thousand thoughts at +once suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure, +and it struck him as being ill done and worse advised in him to expose +himself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his lady; and +said he to himself, "Who knows but that the devil, being wily and +cunning, may be trying now to entrap me with a duenna, having failed with +empresses, queens, duchesses, marchionesses, and countesses? Many a time +have I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you +a flat-nosed wench than a roman-nosed one; and who knows but this +privacy, this opportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires, +and lead me in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped? +In cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. But +I must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; for it is +impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna could stir up or +excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world. Is +there a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is there a duenna in the +world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and prudish? Avaunt, +then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind. Oh, but that lady did +well who, they say, had at the end of her reception room a couple of +figures of duennas with spectacles and lace-cushions, as if at work, and +those statues served quite as well to give an air of propriety to the +room as if they had been real duennas." + +So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and not +allow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it Senora +Rodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view of +Don Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages and night-cap, +she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces, exclaimed, "Am +I safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as a sign of very great +virtue that your worship should have got up out of bed." + +"I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do ask +whether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?" + +"Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir knight?" said +the duenna. + +"Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am not +marble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning, but +midnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room more secluded +and retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous and +daring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido. But give me your hand, +senora; I require no better protection than my own continence, and my own +sense of propriety; as well as that which is inspired by that venerable +head-dress;" and so saying he kissed her right hand and took it in his +own, she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness. And here Cide +Hamete inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pair +marching from the door to the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, he +would have given the best of the two tunics he had. + +Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seat on a +chair at some little distance from his couch, without taking off her +spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped the +bedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leaving nothing +but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained their +composure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez, you may +unbosom yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heart +and afflicted bowels; and by me you shall be listened to with chaste +ears, and aided by compassionate exertions." + +"I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentle and +winning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected. The fact +is, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in this chair, +here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the attire of a +despised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, and of a +family with which many of the best of the province are connected by +blood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of my parents, who, I +know not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty, brought me to the +court of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes, +my parents placed me as seamstress in the service of a lady of quality, +and I would have you know that for hemming and sewing I have never been +surpassed by any all my life. My parents left me in service and returned +to their own country, and a few years later went, no doubt, to heaven, +for they were excellent good Catholic Christians. I was left an orphan +with nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presents that are given +to servants of my sort in palaces; but about this time, without any +encouragement on my part, one of the esquires of the household fell in +love with me, a man somewhat advanced in years, full-bearded and +personable, and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself, for he +came of a mountain stock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecy +but that they came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any +fuss about it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother +Roman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put an +end to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth, for +I passed through it safely and in due season, but because shortly +afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, and had I time +to tell you of it I know your worship would be surprised;" and here she +began to weep bitterly and said, "Pardon me, Senor Don Quixote, if I am +unable to control myself, for every time I think of my unfortunate +husband my eyes fill up with tears. God bless me, with what an air of +dignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black as +jet! for in those days they did not use coaches or chairs, as they say +they do now, and ladies rode behind their squires. This much at least I +cannot help telling you, that you may observe the good breeding and +punctiliousness of my worthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle de +Santiago in Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of the +Court, with two alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soon +as my good squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he +would turn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said to +him in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see that I +am here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said to +him, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompany my lady +Dona Casilda'--for that was my mistress's name. Still my husband, cap in +hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, and seeing this my +lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a big pin, or, I rather +think, a bodkin, out of her needle-case and drove it into his back with +such force that my husband gave a loud yell, and writhing fell to the +ground with his lady. Her two lacqueys ran to rise her up, and the +alcalde and the alguacils did the same; the Guadalajara gate was all in +commotion--I mean the idlers congregated there; my mistress came back on +foot, and my husband hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he +was run right through the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised +abroad to such an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street; +and on this account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my lady +dismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a doubt +that brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with a daughter +on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; at length, however, +as I had the character of being an excellent needlewoman, my lady the +duchess, then lately married to my lord the duke, offered to take me with +her to this kingdom of Aragon, and my daughter also, and here as time +went by my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world; she +sings like a lark, dances quick as thought, foots it like a gipsy, reads +and writes like a schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of her +neatness I say nothing, for the running water is not purer, and her age +is now, if my memory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days, +one more or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, +living in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell in +love with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they came +together, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my +daughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke is +aware of it (for I have complained to him, not once but many and many a +time, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my daughter), he +turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; the reason being that as +the deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him money, and is constantly +going security for his debts, he does not like to offend or annoy him in +any way. Now, senor, I want your worship to take it upon yourself to +redress this wrong either by entreaty or by arms; for by what all the +world says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs and +help the unfortunate. Let your worship put before you the unprotected +condition of my daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have said +she possesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all the +damsels my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of her +shoe, and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest and +gayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not come within +two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is not gold +that glitters, and that same little Altisidora has more forwardness than +good looks, and more impudence than modesty; besides being not very +sound, for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to be +near her for a moment; and even my lady the duchess--but I'll hold my +tongue, for they say that walls have ears." + +"For heaven's sake, Dona Rodriguez, what ails my lady the duchess?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"Adjured in that way," replied the duenna, "I cannot help answering the +question and telling the whole truth. Senor Don Quixote, have you +observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess, that smooth complexion of +hers like a burnished polished sword, those two cheeks of milk and +carmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems to +spurn the earth, so that one would fancy she went radiating health +wherever she passed? Well then, let me tell you she may thank, first of +all God, for this, and next, two issues that she has, one in each leg, by +which all the evil humours, of which the doctors say she is full, are +discharged." + +"Blessed Virgin!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "and is it possible that my lady +the duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it if the +barefoot friars had told it me; but as the lady Dona Rodriguez says so, +it must be so. But surely such issues, and in such places, do not +discharge humours, but liquid amber. Verily, I do believe now that this +practice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health." + +Don Quixote had hardly said this, when the chamber door flew open with a +loud bang, and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez let the +candle fall from her hand, and the room was left as dark as a wolf's +mouth, as the saying is. Suddenly the poor duenna felt two hands seize +her by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak, while some one +else, without uttering a word, very briskly hoisted up her petticoats, +and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so heartily that +anyone would have felt pity for her; but although Don Quixote felt it he +never stirred from his bed, but lay quiet and silent, nay apprehensive +that his turn for a drubbing might be coming. Nor was the apprehension an +idle one; one; for leaving the duenna (who did not dare to cry out) well +basted, the silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote, and stripping him +of the sheet and the coverlet, they pinched him so fast and so hard that +he was driven to defend himself with his fists, and all this in +marvellous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour, and then the +phantoms fled; Dona Rodriguez gathered up her skirts, and bemoaning her +fate went out without saying a word to Don Quixote, and he, sorely +pinched, puzzled, and dejected, remained alone, and there we will leave +him, wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reduced +him to such a state; but that shall be told in due season, for Sancho +claims our attention, and the methodical arrangement of the story demands +it. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., +Part 32, by Miguel de Cervantes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + +***** This file should be named 5935.txt or 5935.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/9/3/5935/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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