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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:26:30 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5935-h.zip b/5935-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6bd13a7 --- /dev/null +++ b/5935-h.zip diff --git a/5935-h/5935-h.htm b/5935-h/5935-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bc35ba9 --- /dev/null +++ b/5935-h/5935-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1434 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<title>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, By Cervantes, Vol. II., Part 32.</title> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + PRE { font-family: Times; font-size: 97%; margin-left: 15%;} + // --> +</style> + + +</head> +<body> + +<h2>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, Vol. II., Part 32.</h2> +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part +32, by Miguel de Cervantes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 32 + +Author: Miguel de Cervantes + +Release Date: July 25, 2004 [EBook #5935] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + + +<h2>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, Vol. II., Part 32.</h2> + +<br> +<hr> +<br><br><br><br><br><br> + + + +<center> +<h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1> +<br> +<h2>by Miguel de Cervantes</h2> +<br> +<h3>Translated by John Ormsby</h3> +</center> + +<br><br> +<center><h3> +Volume II., Part 32 +<br><br> +Chapters 46-48 +</h3></center> + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="bookcover.jpg (230K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" height="842" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/bookcover.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> +<img alt="spine.jpg (152K)" src="images/spine.jpg" height="842" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/spine.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center> +<h3>Ebook Editor's Note</h3> +</center> +<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote> +<p> +The book cover and spine above and the images which follow were not part of the original Ormsby +translation—they are taken from the 1880 edition of J. W. Clark, illustrated by +Gustave Dore. Clark in his edition states that, "The English text of 'Don Quixote' +adopted in this edition is that of Jarvis, with occasional corrections from Motteaux." +See in the introduction below John Ormsby's critique of +both the Jarvis and Motteaux translations. It has been elected in the present Project Gutenberg edition +to attach the famous engravings of Gustave Dore to the Ormsby translation instead +of the Jarvis/Motteaux. The detail of many of the Dore engravings can be fully appreciated only +by utilizing the "Full Size" button to expand them to their original dimensions. Ormsby +in his Preface has criticized the fanciful nature of Dore's illustrations; others feel that +these woodcuts and steel engravings well match the dreams of the man from La Mancha. + D.W.</p> +</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br><br><br> +<center> +<img alt="p003.jpg (307K)" src="images/p003.jpg" height="813" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p003.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"> +</a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h2>CONTENTS</h2></center> + + +<pre> + +<a href="#ch46b">CHAPTER XLVI</a> +OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE +GOT IN THE COURSE OF THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING + +<a href="#ch47b">CHAPTER XLVII</a> +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA +CONDUCTED HIMSELF IN HIS GOVERNMENT + +<a href="#ch48b">CHAPTER XLVIII</a> +OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE +DUCHESS'S DUENNA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES +WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL REMEMBRANCE + +</pre> + +<br><br><br><br> + + +<center><h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1></center> +<br><br> +<center><h2>Volume II.</h2></center> +<br> +<br> +<br> + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch46b"></a>CHAPTER XLVI.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THE +COURSE OF THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p46a"></a><img alt="p46a.jpg (58K)" src="images/p46a.jpg" height="198" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p46a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of +the enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bed +with them, and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get a +moment's rest, and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. +But as Time is fleet and no obstacle can stay his course, he came +riding on the hours, and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which Don +Quixote quitted the soft down, and, nowise slothful, dressed himself +in his chamois suit and put on his travelling boots to hide the +disaster to his stockings. He threw over him his scarlet mantle, put +on his head a montera of green velvet trimmed with silver edging, +flung across his shoulder the baldric with his good trenchant sword, +took up a large rosary that he always carried with him, and with great +solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the antechamber where the +duke and duchess were already dressed and waiting for him. But as he +passed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other damsel, her friend, +were lying in wait for him, and the instant Altisidora saw him she +pretended to faint, while her friend caught her in her lap, and +began hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress.</p> + +<p>Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, "I know very +well what this seizure arises from."</p> + +<p>"I know not from what," replied the friend, "for Altisidora is the +healthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her +complain all the time I have known her. A plague on all the +knights-errant in the world, if they be all ungrateful! Go away, Senor +Don Quixote; for this poor child will not come to herself again so +long as you are here."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p46b"></a><img alt="p46b.jpg (320K)" src="images/p46b.jpg" height="846" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p46b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<p>To which Don Quixote returned, "Do me the favour, senora, to let a +lute be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poor +maiden to the best of my power; for in the early stages of love a +prompt disillusion is an approved remedy;" and with this he retired, +so as not to be remarked by any who might see him there.</p> + +<p>He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from her +swoon, said to her companion, "The lute must be left, for no doubt Don +Quixote intends to give us some music; and being his it will not be +bad."</p> + +<p>They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of +the lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, +plotted with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that +should be amusing but harmless; and in high glee they waited for +night, which came quickly as the day had come; and as for the day, the +duke and duchess spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote.</p> + +<p>When eleven o'clock came, Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber; +he tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were +walking in the garden; and having passed his fingers over the frets of +the guitar and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his +chest, and then with a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang +the following ballad, which he had himself that day composed:</p> + + +<pre> +Mighty Love the hearts of maidens + Doth unsettle and perplex, +And the instrument he uses + Most of all is idleness. + +Sewing, stitching, any labour, + Having always work to do, +To the poison Love instilleth + Is the antidote most sure. + +And to proper-minded maidens + Who desire the matron's name +Modesty's a marriage portion, + Modesty their highest praise. + +Men of prudence and discretion, + Courtiers gay and gallant knights, +With the wanton damsels dally, + But the modest take to wife. +There are passions, transient, fleeting, + Loves in hostelries declar'd, +Sunrise loves, with sunset ended, + When the guest hath gone his way. + +Love that springs up swift and sudden, + Here to-day, to-morrow flown, +Passes, leaves no trace behind it, + Leaves no image on the soul. + +Painting that is laid on painting + Maketh no display or show; +Where one beauty's in possession + There no other can take hold. + +Dulcinea del Toboso + Painted on my heart I wear; +Never from its tablets, never, + Can her image be eras'd. + +The quality of all in lovers + Most esteemed is constancy; +'T is by this that love works wonders, + This exalts them to the skies. + +</pre> + + +<p> +Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the +duchess, Altisidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were +listening, when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was +exactly over his window they let down a cord with more than a +hundred bells attached to it, and immediately after that discharged +a great sack full of cats, which also had bells of smaller size tied +to their tails. Such was the din of the bells and the squalling of the +cats, that though the duke and duchess were the contrivers of the joke +they were startled by it, while Don Quixote stood paralysed with fear; +and as luck would have it, two or three of the cats made their way +in through the grating of his chamber, and flying from one side to the +other, made it seem as if there was a legion of devils at large in it. +They extinguished the candles that were burning in the room, and +rushed about seeking some way of escape; the cord with the large bells +never ceased rising and falling; and most of the people of the castle, +not knowing what was really the matter, were at their wits' end with +astonishment. Don Quixote sprang to his feet, and drawing his sword, +began making passes at the grating, shouting out, "Avaunt, malignant +enchanters! avaunt, ye witchcraft-working rabble! I am Don Quixote +of La Mancha, against whom your evil machinations avail not nor have +any power." And turning upon the cats that were running about the +room, he made several cuts at them. They dashed at the grating and +escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard pressed by the +slashes of Don Quixote's sword, flew at his face and held on to his +nose tooth and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his +loudest. The duke and duchess hearing this, and guessing what it +was, ran with all haste to his room, and as the poor gentleman was +striving with all his might to detach the cat from his face, they +opened the door with a master-key and went in with lights and +witnessed the unequal combat. The duke ran forward to part the +combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, "Let no one take him from +me; leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, this +enchanter; I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha +is." The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held +on; but at last the duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. +Don Quixote was left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a +nose not in very good condition, and greatly vexed that they did not +let him finish the battle he had been so stoutly fighting with that +villain of an enchanter. They sent for some oil of John's wort, and +Altisidora herself with her own fair hands bandaged all the wounded +parts; and as she did so she said to him in a low voice. "All these +mishaps have befallen thee, hardhearted knight, for the sin of thy +insensibility and obstinacy; and God grant thy squire Sancho may +forget to whip himself, so that that dearly beloved Dulcinea of +thine may never be released from her enchantment, that thou mayest +never come to her bed, at least while I who adore thee am alive."</p> + +<p>To all this Don Quixote made no answer except to heave deep sighs, +and then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the duke and duchess +for their kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that +bell-ringing rabble of enchanters in cat shape, but because he +recognised their good intentions in coming to his rescue. The duke and +duchess left him to repose and withdrew greatly grieved at the +unfortunate result of the joke; as they never thought the adventure +would have fallen so heavy on Don Quixote or cost him so dear, for +it cost him five days of confinement to his bed, during which he had +another adventure, pleasanter than the late one, which his +chronicler will not relate just now in order that he may turn his +attention to Sancho Panza, who was proceeding with great diligence and +drollery in his government.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p46e"></a><img alt="p46e.jpg (65K)" src="images/p46e.jpg" height="775" width="577"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch47b"></a>CHAPTER XLVII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA CONDUCTED +HIMSELF IN HIS GOVERNMENT +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p47a"></a><img alt="p47a.jpg (139K)" src="images/p47a.jpg" height="440" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p47a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho +to a sumptuous palace, where in a spacious chamber there was a table +laid out with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho +entered the room, and four pages came forward to present him with +water for his hands, which Sancho received with great dignity. The +music ceased, and Sancho seated himself at the head of the table, +for there was only that seat placed, and no more than one cover +laid. A personage, who it appeared afterwards was a physician, +placed himself standing by his side with a whalebone wand in his hand. +They then lifted up a fine white cloth covering fruit and a great +variety of dishes of different sorts; one who looked like a student +said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, while another who +played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit before him. +But hardly had he tasted a morsel when the man with the wand touched +the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with the +utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and +Sancho proceeded to try it; but before he could get at it, not to +say taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried +it off with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this +was puzzled, and looking from one to another asked if this dinner +was to be eaten after the fashion of a jugglery trick.</p> + +<p>To this he with the wand replied, "It is not to be eaten, senor +governor, except as is usual and customary in other islands where +there are governors. I, senor, am a physician, and I am paid a +salary in this island to serve its governors as such, and I have a +much greater regard for their health than for my own, studying day and +night and making myself acquainted with the governor's constitution, +in order to be able to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing +I have to do is to attend at his dinners and suppers and allow him +to eat what appears to me to be fit for him, and keep from him what +I think will do him harm and be injurious to his stomach; and +therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to be removed as being too +moist, and that other dish I ordered to be removed as being too hot +and containing many spices that stimulate thirst; for he who drinks +much kills and consumes the radical moisture wherein life consists."</p> + +<p>"Well then," said Sancho, "that dish of roast partridges there +that seems so savoury will not do me any harm."</p> + +<p>To this the physician replied, "Of those my lord the governor +shall not eat so long as I live."</p> + +<p>"Why so?" said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"Because," replied the doctor, "our master Hippocrates, the polestar +and beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms omnis saturatio +mala, perdicis autem pessima, which means 'all repletion is bad, but +that of partridge is the worst of all."</p> + +<p>"In that case," said Sancho, "let senor doctor see among the +dishes that are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, +and let me eat it, without tapping it with his stick; for by the +life of the governor, and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I'm +dying of hunger; and in spite of the doctor and all he may say, to +deny me food is the way to take my life instead of prolonging it."</p> + +<p>"Your worship is right, senor governor," said the physician; "and +therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewed +rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food; if that veal were +not roasted and served with pickles, you might try it; but it is out +of the question."</p> + +<p>"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho, "seems +to me to be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in +such ollas, I can't fail to light upon something tasty and good for +me."</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p47b"></a><img alt="p47b.jpg (372K)" src="images/p47b.jpg" height="852" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p47b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base thought! +There is nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; to +canons, or rectors of colleges, or peasants' weddings with your +ollas podridas, but let us have none of them on the tables of +governors, where everything that is present should be delicate and +refined; and the reason is, that always, everywhere and by +everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed than compound ones, +for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, while in the compound +we may, by merely altering the quantity of the things composing +them. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat now in order to +preserve and fortify his health is a hundred or so of wafer cakes +and a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will settle his +stomach and help his digestion."</p> + +<p>Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and +surveyed the doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him what +his name was and where he had studied.</p> + +<p>He replied, "My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio de +Aguero I am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which lies +between Caracuel and Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side, +and I have the degree of doctor from the university of Osuna."</p> + +<p>To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, "Then let +Doctor Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that's +on the right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar del +Campo, graduate of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swear +by the sun I'll take a cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning with +him, I'll not leave a doctor in the whole island; at least of those +I know to be ignorant; for as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, +them I will reverence and honour as divine persons. Once more I say +let Pedro Recio get out of this or I'll take this chair I am sitting +on and break it over his head. And if they call me to account for +it, I'll clear myself by saying I served God in killing a bad +doctor—a general executioner. And now give me something to eat, or +else take your government; for a trade that does not feed its master +is not worth two beans."</p> + +<p>The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a +passion, and he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but that +the same instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carver +putting his head out of the window turned round and said, "It's a +courier from my lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch of +importance."</p> + +<p>The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper +from his bosom, placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it to +the majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: To +Don Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his own +hands or those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said, +"Which of you is my secretary?" "I am, senor," said one of those +present, "for I can read and write, and am a Biscayan." "With that +addition," said Sancho, "you might be secretary to the emperor +himself; open this paper and see what it says." The new-born secretary +obeyed, and having read the contents said the matter was one to be +discussed in private. Sancho ordered the chamber to be cleared, the +majordomo and the carver only remaining; so the doctor and the +others withdrew, and then the secretary read the letter, which was +as follows:</p> + +<blockquote><blockquote> +<p> +It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certain +enemies of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack +upon it some night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alert +and keep watch, that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy +spies that four persons have entered the town in disguise in order +to take your life, because they stand in dread of your great capacity; +keep your eyes open and take heed who approaches you to address you, +and eat nothing that is presented to you. I will take care to send you +aid if you find yourself in difficulty, but in all things you will act +as may be expected of your judgment. From this place, the Sixteenth of +August, at four in the morning.</p> + +<p>Your friend,</p> + +<p>THE DUKE</p> +</blockquote></blockquote> + + +<p>Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to be +so too, and turning to the majordomo he said to him, "What we have got +to do first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio in +the lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow +death and the worst of all, which is hunger."</p> + +<p>"Likewise," said the carver, "it is my opinion your worship should +not eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present +from some nuns; and as they say, 'behind the cross there's the +devil.'"</p> + +<p>"I don't deny it," said Sancho; "so for the present give me a +piece of bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can come +in them; for the fact is I can't go on without eating; and if we are +to be prepared for these battles that are threatening us we must be +well provisioned; for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not +the heart the tripes. And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke +and tell him that all his commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as +he directs; and say from me to my lady the duchess that I kiss her +hands, and that I beg of her not to forget to send my letter and +bundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a messenger; and I will take it as a +great favour and will not fail to serve her in all that may lie within +my power; and as you are about it you may enclose a kiss of the hand +to my master Don Quixote that he may see I am grateful bread; and as a +good secretary and a good Biscayan you may add whatever you like and +whatever will come in best; and now take away this cloth and give me +something to eat, and I'll be ready to meet all the spies and +assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my island."</p> + +<p>At this instant a page entered saying, "Here is a farmer on +business, who wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great +importance, he says."</p> + +<p>"It's very odd," said Sancho, "the ways of these men on business; is +it possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like +this is no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are +judges—are we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be +allowed the time required for taking rest, unless they'd have us +made of marble? By God and on my conscience, if the government remains +in my hands (which I have a notion it won't), I'll bring more than one +man on business to order. However, tell this good man to come in; +but take care first of all that he is not some spy or one of my +assassins."</p> + +<p>"No, my lord," said the page, "for he looks like a simple fellow, +and either I know very little or he is as good as good bread."</p> + +<p>"There is nothing to be afraid of," said the majordomo, "for we +are all here."</p> + +<p>"Would it be possible, carver," said Sancho, "now that Doctor +Pedro Recio is not here, to let me eat something solid and +substantial, if it were even a piece of bread and an onion?"</p> + +<p>"To-night at supper," said the carver, "the shortcomings of the +dinner shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully +contented."</p> + +<p>"God grant it," said Sancho.</p> + +<p>The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see a +thousand leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first +thing he said was, "Which is the lord governor here?"</p> + +<p>"Which should it be," said the secretary, "but he who is seated in +the chair?"</p> + +<p>"Then I humble myself before him," said the farmer; and going on his +knees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and bade +him stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said, +"I am a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village two +leagues from Ciudad Real."</p> + +<p>"Another Tirteafuera!" said Sancho; "say on, brother; I know +Miguelturra very well I can tell you, for it's not very far from my +own town."</p> + +<p>"The case is this, senor," continued the farmer, "that by God's +mercy I am married with the leave and licence of the holy Roman +Catholic Church; I have two sons, students, and the younger is +studying to become bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am a +widower, for my wife died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor +killed her on my hands, giving her a purge when she was with child; +and if it had pleased God that the child had been born, and was a boy, +I would have put him to study for doctor, that he might not envy his +brothers the bachelor and the licentiate."</p> + +<p>"So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you +would not now be a widower," said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"No, senor, certainly not," said the farmer.</p> + +<p>"We've got that much settled," said Sancho; "get on, brother, for +it's more bed-time than business-time."</p> + +<p>"Well then," said the farmer, "this son of mine who is going to be a +bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara +Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; and +this name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry or +descent, but because all the family are paralytics, and for a better +name they call them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel is +as fair as an Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you +look at her on the right side; on the left not so much, for on that +side she wants an eye that she lost by small-pox; and though her +face is thickly and deeply pitted, those who love her say they are not +pits that are there, but the graves where the hearts of her lovers are +buried. She is so cleanly that not to soil her face she carries her +nose turned up, as they say, so that one would fancy it was running +away from her mouth; and with all this she looks extremely well, for +she has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten or a dozen teeth and +grinders she might compare and compete with the comeliest. Of her lips +I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, if lips might be +reeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a different +colour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are mottled, +blue, green, and purple—let my lord the governor pardon me for +painting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other will +be my daughter; for I love her, and I don't find her amiss."</p> + +<p>"Paint what you will," said Sancho; "I enjoy your painting, and if I +had dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than your +portrait."</p> + +<p>"That I have still to furnish," said the farmer; "but a time will +come when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor, +if I could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure, it would +astonish you; but that is impossible because she is bent double with +her knees up to her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see that +if she could stand up she'd knock her head against the ceiling; and +she would have given her hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she +can't stretch it out, for it's contracted; but still one can see its +elegance and fine make by its long furrowed nails."</p> + +<p>"That will do, brother," said Sancho; "consider you have painted her +from head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the point +without all this beating about the bush, and all these scraps and +additions."</p> + +<p>"I want your worship, senor," said the farmer, "to do me the +favour of giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father, +begging him to be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we +are not ill-matched either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; for +to tell the truth, senor governor, my son is possessed of a devil, and +there is not a day but the evil spirits torment him three or four +times; and from having once fallen into the fire, he has his face +puckered up like a piece of parchment, and his eyes watery and +always running; but he has the disposition of an angel, and if it +was not for belabouring and pummelling himself he'd be a saint."</p> + +<p>"Is there anything else you want, good man?" said Sancho.</p> + +<p>"There's another thing I'd like," said the farmer, "but I'm afraid +to mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can't let it be +rotting in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like your +worship to give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to my +bachelor's portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, in +short, live by themselves, without being subject to the +interferences of their fathers-in-law."</p> + +<p>"Just see if there's anything else you'd like," said Sancho, "and +don't hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty."</p> + +<p>"No, indeed there is not," said the farmer.</p> + +<p>The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, and +seizing the chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, "By all that's +good, you ill-bred, boorish Don Bumpkin, if you don't get out of +this at once and hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your head +open with this chair. You whoreson rascal, you devil's own painter, +and is it at this hour you come to ask me for six hundred ducats! +How should I have them, you stinking brute? And why should I give them +to you if I had them, you knave and blockhead? What have I to do +with Miguelturra or the whole family of the Perlerines? Get out I say, +or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as I said. You're not +from Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell to tempt me. Why, +you villain, I have not yet had the government half a day, and you +want me to have six hundred ducats already!"</p> + +<p>The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he +did with his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the +governor should carry his threats into effect, for the rogue knew very +well how to play his part.</p> + +<p>But let us leave Sancho in his wrath, and peace be with them all; +and let us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with his face +bandaged and doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not +cured for eight days; and on one of these there befell him what Cide +Hamete promises to relate with that exactitude and truth with which he +is wont to set forth everything connected with this great history, +however minute it may be.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p47e"></a><img alt="p47e.jpg (12K)" src="images/p47e.jpg" height="301" width="273"> +</center> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<br><br> +<center><h2><a name="ch48b"></a>CHAPTER XLVIII.</h2></center> +<br> +<center><h3>OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS'S +DUENNA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL +REMEMBRANCE +</h3></center> +<br> +<br> + +<center><a name="p48a"></a><img alt="p48a.jpg (131K)" src="images/p48a.jpg" height="431" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p48a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<p>Exceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, +with his face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by +the claws of a cat, mishaps incidental to knight-errantry.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p48b"></a><img alt="p48b.jpg (316K)" src="images/p48b.jpg" height="840" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p48b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + + +<p>Six days he +remained without appearing in public, and one night as he lay awake +thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisidora's pursuit of him, he +perceived that some one was opening the door of his room with a key, +and he at once made up his mind that the enamoured damsel was coming +to make an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of +failing in the fidelity he owed to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "No," +said he, firmly persuaded of the truth of his idea (and he said it +loud enough to be heard), "the greatest beauty upon earth shall not +avail to make me renounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped +and graved in the core of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels; +be thou, lady mine, transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a +nymph of golden Tagus weaving a web of silk and gold, let Merlin or +Montesinos hold thee captive where they will; whereer thou art, thou +art mine, and where'er I am, must be thine." The very instant he had +uttered these words, the door opened. He stood up on the bed wrapped +from head to foot in a yellow satin coverlet, with a cap on his +head, and his face and his moustaches tied up, his face because of the +scratches, and his moustaches to keep them from drooping and falling +down, in which trim he looked the most extraordinary scarecrow that +could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixed on the door, and just as he +was expecting to see the love-smitten and unhappy Altisidora make +her appearance, he saw coming in a most venerable duenna, in a long +white-bordered veil that covered and enveloped her from head to +foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short lighted +candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from +her eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size, and she +advanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly.</p> + +<p>Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and +observing her costume and noting her silence, he concluded that it +must be some witch or sorceress that was coming in such a guise to +work him some mischief, and he began crossing himself at a great rate. +The spectre still advanced, and on reaching the middle of the room, +looked up and saw the energy with which Don Quixote was crossing +himself; and if he was scared by seeing such a figure as hers, she was +terrified at the sight of his; for the moment she saw his tall +yellow form with the coverlet and the bandages that disfigured him, +she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming, "Jesus! what's this I see?" +let fall the candle in her fright, and then finding herself in the +dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling on her skirts in her +consternation, she measured her length with a mighty fall.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p48c"></a><img alt="p48c.jpg (249K)" src="images/p48c.jpg" height="823" width="650"> +</center> +<a href="images/p48c.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a> +<br><br><br><br> + +<p>Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying, "I conjure thee, +phantom, or whatever thou art, tell me what thou art and what thou +wouldst with me. If thou art a soul in torment, say so, and all that +my powers can do I will do for thee; for I am a Catholic Christian and +love to do good to all the world, and to this end I have embraced +the order of knight-errantry to which I belong, the province of +which extends to doing good even to souls in purgatory."</p> + +<p>The unfortunate duenna hearing herself thus conjured, by her own +fear guessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered, +"Senor Don Quixote—if so be you are indeed Don Quixote—I am no +phantom or spectre or soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but +Dona Rodriguez, duenna of honour to my lady the duchess, and I come to +you with one of those grievances your worship is wont to redress."</p> + +<p>"Tell me, Senora Dona Rodriguez," said Don Quixote, "do you +perchance come to transact any go-between business? Because I must +tell you I am not available for anybody's purpose, thanks to the +peerless beauty of my lady Dulcinea del Toboso. In short, Senora +Dona Rodriguez, if you will leave out and put aside all love messages, +you may go and light your candle and come back, and we will discuss +all the commands you have for me and whatever you wish, saving only, +as I said, all seductive communications."</p> + +<p>"I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little you +know me. Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such +childish tricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, and +all my teeth and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the +colds, so common in this Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait a +little, while I go and light my candle, and I will return +immediately and lay my sorrows before you as before one who relieves +those of all the world;" and without staying for an answer she quitted +the room and left Don Quixote tranquilly meditating while he waited +for her. A thousand thoughts at once suggested themselves to him on +the subject of this new adventure, and it struck him as being ill done +and worse advised in him to expose himself to the danger of breaking +his plighted faith to his lady; and said he to himself, "Who knows but +that the devil, being wily and cunning, may be trying now to entrap me +with a duenna, having failed with empresses, queens, duchesses, +marchionesses, and countesses? Many a time have I heard it said by +many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you a flat-nosed wench +than a roman-nosed one; and who knows but this privacy, this +opportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires, and lead me +in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped? In +cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. +But I must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; for +it is impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna could +stir up or excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in +the world. Is there a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is there +a duenna in the world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and +prudish? Avaunt, then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind. +Oh, but that lady did well who, they say, had at the end of her +reception room a couple of figures of duennas with spectacles and +lace-cushions, as if at work, and those statues served quite as well +to give an air of propriety to the room as if they had been real +duennas."</p> + +<p>So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and not +allow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it Senora +Rodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view +of Don Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages and +night-cap, she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces, +exclaimed, "Am I safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as a +sign of very great virtue that your worship should have got up out +of bed."</p> + +<p>"I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do ask +whether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?"</p> + +<p>"Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir +knight?" said the duenna.</p> + +<p>"Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am not +marble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning, +but midnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room more +secluded and retired than the cave could have been where the +treacherous and daring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido. +But give me your hand, senora; I require no better protection than +my own continence, and my own sense of propriety; as well as that +which is inspired by that venerable head-dress;" and so saying he +kissed her right hand and took it in his own, she yielding it to him +with equal ceremoniousness. And here Cide Hamete inserts a parenthesis +in which he says that to have seen the pair marching from the door +to the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, he would have given the +best of the two tunics he had.</p> + +<p>Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seat +on a chair at some little distance from his couch, without taking +off her spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped +the bedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leaving +nothing but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained +their composure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez, +you may unbosom yourself and out with everything you have in your +sorrowful heart and afflicted bowels; and by me you shall be +listened to with chaste ears, and aided by compassionate exertions."</p> + +<p>"I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentle +and winning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected. +The fact is, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in +this chair, here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the +attire of a despised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, +and of a family with which many of the best of the province are +connected by blood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of my +parents, who, I know not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty, +brought me to the court of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoid +greater misfortunes, my parents placed me as seamstress in the service +of a lady of quality, and I would have you know that for hemming and +sewing I have never been surpassed by any all my life. My parents left +me in service and returned to their own country, and a few years later +went, no doubt, to heaven, for they were excellent good Catholic +Christians. I was left an orphan with nothing but the miserable +wages and trifling presents that are given to servants of my sort in +palaces; but about this time, without any encouragement on my part, +one of the esquires of the household fell in love with me, a man +somewhat advanced in years, full-bearded and personable, and above all +as good a gentleman as the king himself, for he came of a mountain +stock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecy but that they +came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any fuss +about it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother +Roman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put an +end to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth, +for I passed through it safely and in due season, but because +shortly afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, and +had I time to tell you of it I know your worship would be +surprised;" and here she began to weep bitterly and said, "Pardon +me, Senor Don Quixote, if I am unable to control myself, for every +time I think of my unfortunate husband my eyes fill up with tears. God +bless me, with what an air of dignity he used to carry my lady +behind him on a stout mule as black as jet! for in those days they did +not use coaches or chairs, as they say they do now, and ladies rode +behind their squires. This much at least I cannot help telling you, +that you may observe the good breeding and punctiliousness of my +worthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle de Santiago in +Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of the Court, with +two alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soon as my good +squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he would +turn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said to +him in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see that +I am here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said +to him, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompany +my lady Dona Casilda'—for that was my mistress's name. Still my +husband, cap in hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, +and seeing this my lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a +big pin, or, I rather think, a bodkin, out of her needle-case and +drove it into his back with such force that my husband gave a loud +yell, and writhing fell to the ground with his lady. Her two +lacqueys ran to rise her up, and the alcalde and the alguacils did the +same; the Guadalajara gate was all in commotion—I mean the idlers +congregated there; my mistress came back on foot, and my husband +hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he was run right +through the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised abroad to such +an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street; and on +this account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my lady +dismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a +doubt that brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with a +daughter on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; at +length, however, as I had the character of being an excellent +needlewoman, my lady the duchess, then lately married to my lord the +duke, offered to take me with her to this kingdom of Aragon, and my +daughter also, and here as time went by my daughter grew up and with +her all the graces in the world; she sings like a lark, dances quick +as thought, foots it like a gipsy, reads and writes like a +schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of her neatness I say +nothing, for the running water is not purer, and her age is now, if my +memory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days, one more +or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, living +in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell in +love with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they came +together, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my +daughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke is +aware of it (for I have complained to him, not once but many and +many a time, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my +daughter), he turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; the +reason being that as the deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him +money, and is constantly going security for his debts, he does not +like to offend or annoy him in any way. Now, senor, I want your +worship to take it upon yourself to redress this wrong either by +entreaty or by arms; for by what all the world says you came into it +to redress grievances and right wrongs and help the unfortunate. Let +your worship put before you the unprotected condition of my +daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have said she +possesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all the damsels +my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of her shoe, +and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest and +gayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not come +within two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is +not gold that glitters, and that same little Altisidora has more +forwardness than good looks, and more impudence than modesty; +besides being not very sound, for she has such a disagreeable breath +that one cannot bear to be near her for a moment; and even my lady the +duchess—but I'll hold my tongue, for they say that walls have ears."</p> + +<p>"For heaven's sake, Dona Rodriguez, what ails my lady the +duchess?" asked Don Quixote.</p> + +<p>"Adjured in that way," replied the duenna, "I cannot help +answering the question and telling the whole truth. Senor Don Quixote, +have you observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess, that smooth +complexion of hers like a burnished polished sword, those two cheeks +of milk and carmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or +rather seems to spurn the earth, so that one would fancy she went +radiating health wherever she passed? Well then, let me tell you she +may thank, first of all God, for this, and next, two issues that she +has, one in each leg, by which all the evil humours, of which the +doctors say she is full, are discharged."</p> + +<p>"Blessed Virgin!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "and is it possible that my +lady the duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it +if the barefoot friars had told it me; but as the lady Dona +Rodriguez says so, it must be so. But surely such issues, and in +such places, do not discharge humours, but liquid amber. Verily, I +do believe now that this practice of opening issues is a very +important matter for the health."</p> + +<p>Don Quixote had hardly said this, when the chamber door flew open +with a loud bang, and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez +let the candle fall from her hand, and the room was left as dark as +a wolf's mouth, as the saying is. Suddenly the poor duenna felt two +hands seize her by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak, +while some one else, without uttering a word, very briskly hoisted +up her petticoats, and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay +on so heartily that anyone would have felt pity for her; but +although Don Quixote felt it he never stirred from his bed, but lay +quiet and silent, nay apprehensive that his turn for a drubbing +might be coming. Nor was the apprehension an idle one; one; for +leaving the duenna (who did not dare to cry out) well basted, the +silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote, and stripping him of the +sheet and the coverlet, they pinched him so fast and so hard that he +was driven to defend himself with his fists, and all this in +marvellous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour, and then +the phantoms fled; Dona Rodriguez gathered up her skirts, and +bemoaning her fate went out without saying a word to Don Quixote, +and he, sorely pinched, puzzled, and dejected, remained alone, and +there we will leave him, wondering who could have been the perverse +enchanter who had reduced him to such a state; but that shall be +told in due season, for Sancho claims our attention, and the +methodical arrangement of the story demands it.</p> + +<br><br><br><br> +<center><a name="p48e"></a><img alt="p48e.jpg (28K)" src="images/p48e.jpg" height="403" width="425"> +</center> + + + + +<br> +<br> +<hr> +<br><br> + + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., +Part 32, by Miguel de Cervantes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + +***** This file should be named 5935-h.htm or 5935-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/9/3/5935/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 32 + +Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra + +Release Date: July 25, 2004 [EBook #5935] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + DON QUIXOTE + + Volume II. + + Part 32. + + by Miguel de Cervantes + + + Translated by John Ormsby + + + +CHAPTER XLVI. + +OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THE COURSE OF +THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING + + +We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of the +enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bed with them, +and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get a moment's rest, +and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. But as Time is +fleet and no obstacle can stay his course, he came riding on the hours, +and morning very soon arrived. Seeing which Don Quixote quitted the soft +down, and, nowise slothful, dressed himself in his chamois suit and put +on his travelling boots to hide the disaster to his stockings. He threw +over him his scarlet mantle, put on his head a montera of green velvet +trimmed with silver edging, flung across his shoulder the baldric with +his good trenchant sword, took up a large rosary that he always carried +with him, and with great solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the +antechamber where the duke and duchess were already dressed and waiting +for him. But as he passed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other +damsel, her friend, were lying in wait for him, and the instant +Altisidora saw him she pretended to faint, while her friend caught her in +her lap, and began hastily unlacing the bosom of her dress. + +Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, "I know very well +what this seizure arises from." + +"I know not from what," replied the friend, "for Altisidora is the +healthiest damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her complain +all the time I have known her. A plague on all the knights-errant in the +world, if they be all ungrateful! Go away, Senor Don Quixote; for this +poor child will not come to herself again so long as you are here." + +To which Don Quixote returned, "Do me the favour, senora, to let a lute +be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poor maiden to +the best of my power; for in the early stages of love a prompt +disillusion is an approved remedy;" and with this he retired, so as not +to be remarked by any who might see him there. + +He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from her swoon, +said to her companion, "The lute must be left, for no doubt Don Quixote +intends to give us some music; and being his it will not be bad." + +They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of the +lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, plotted +with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that should be +amusing but harmless; and in high glee they waited for night, which came +quickly as the day had come; and as for the day, the duke and duchess +spent it in charming conversation with Don Quixote. + +When eleven o'clock came, Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber; he +tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were walking +in the garden; and having passed his fingers over the frets of the guitar +and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his chest, and then +with a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang the following +ballad, which he had himself that day composed: + +Mighty Love the hearts of maidens + Doth unsettle and perplex, +And the instrument he uses + Most of all is idleness. + +Sewing, stitching, any labour, + Having always work to do, +To the poison Love instilleth + Is the antidote most sure. + +And to proper-minded maidens + Who desire the matron's name +Modesty's a marriage portion, + Modesty their highest praise. + +Men of prudence and discretion, + Courtiers gay and gallant knights, +With the wanton damsels dally, + But the modest take to wife. + +There are passions, transient, fleeting, + Loves in hostelries declar'd, +Sunrise loves, with sunset ended, + When the guest hath gone his way. + +Love that springs up swift and sudden, + Here to-day, to-morrow flown, +Passes, leaves no trace behind it, + Leaves no image on the soul. + +Painting that is laid on painting + Maketh no display or show; +Where one beauty's in possession + There no other can take hold. + +Dulcinea del Toboso + Painted on my heart I wear; +Never from its tablets, never, + Can her image be eras'd. + +The quality of all in lovers + Most esteemed is constancy; +'T is by this that love works wonders, + This exalts them to the skies. + +Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the duchess, +Altisidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were listening, +when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was exactly over his +window they let down a cord with more than a hundred bells attached to +it, and immediately after that discharged a great sack full of cats, +which also had bells of smaller size tied to their tails. Such was the +din of the bells and the squalling of the cats, that though the duke and +duchess were the contrivers of the joke they were startled by it, while +Don Quixote stood paralysed with fear; and as luck would have it, two or +three of the cats made their way in through the grating of his chamber, +and flying from one side to the other, made it seem as if there was a +legion of devils at large in it. They extinguished the candles that were +burning in the room, and rushed about seeking some way of escape; the +cord with the large bells never ceased rising and falling; and most of +the people of the castle, not knowing what was really the matter, were at +their wits' end with astonishment. Don Quixote sprang to his feet, and +drawing his sword, began making passes at the grating, shouting out, +"Avaunt, malignant enchanters! avaunt, ye witchcraft-working rabble! I am +Don Quixote of La Mancha, against whom your evil machinations avail not +nor have any power." And turning upon the cats that were running about +the room, he made several cuts at them. They dashed at the grating and +escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard pressed by the slashes +of Don Quixote's sword, flew at his face and held on to his nose tooth +and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his loudest. The duke +and duchess hearing this, and guessing what it was, ran with all haste to +his room, and as the poor gentleman was striving with all his might to +detach the cat from his face, they opened the door with a master-key and +went in with lights and witnessed the unequal combat. The duke ran +forward to part the combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, "Let no +one take him from me; leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, +this enchanter; I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha +is." The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held on; +but at last the duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. Don +Quixote was left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a nose not +in very good condition, and greatly vexed that they did not let him +finish the battle he had been so stoutly fighting with that villain of an +enchanter. They sent for some oil of John's wort, and Altisidora herself +with her own fair hands bandaged all the wounded parts; and as she did so +she said to him in a low voice. "All these mishaps have befallen thee, +hardhearted knight, for the sin of thy insensibility and obstinacy; and +God grant thy squire Sancho may forget to whip himself, so that that +dearly beloved Dulcinea of thine may never be released from her +enchantment, that thou mayest never come to her bed, at least while I who +adore thee am alive." + +To all this Don Quixote made no answer except to heave deep sighs, and +then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the duke and duchess for +their kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that bell-ringing +rabble of enchanters in cat shape, but because he recognised their good +intentions in coming to his rescue. The duke and duchess left him to +repose and withdrew greatly grieved at the unfortunate result of the +joke; as they never thought the adventure would have fallen so heavy on +Don Quixote or cost him so dear, for it cost him five days of confinement +to his bed, during which he had another adventure, pleasanter than the +late one, which his chronicler will not relate just now in order that he +may turn his attention to Sancho Panza, who was proceeding with great +diligence and drollery in his government. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVII. + +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA CONDUCTED HIMSELF IN +HIS GOVERNMENT + + +The history says that from the justice court they carried Sancho to a +sumptuous palace, where in a spacious chamber there was a table laid out +with royal magnificence. The clarions sounded as Sancho entered the room, +and four pages came forward to present him with water for his hands, +which Sancho received with great dignity. The music ceased, and Sancho +seated himself at the head of the table, for there was only that seat +placed, and no more than one cover laid. A personage, who it appeared +afterwards was a physician, placed himself standing by his side with a +whalebone wand in his hand. They then lifted up a fine white cloth +covering fruit and a great variety of dishes of different sorts; one who +looked like a student said grace, and a page put a laced bib on Sancho, +while another who played the part of head carver placed a dish of fruit +before him. But hardly had he tasted a morsel when the man with the wand +touched the plate with it, and they took it away from before him with the +utmost celerity. The carver, however, brought him another dish, and +Sancho proceeded to try it; but before he could get at it, not to say +taste it, already the wand had touched it and a page had carried it off +with the same promptitude as the fruit. Sancho seeing this was puzzled, +and looking from one to another asked if this dinner was to be eaten +after the fashion of a jugglery trick. + +To this he with the wand replied, "It is not to be eaten, senor governor, +except as is usual and customary in other islands where there are +governors. I, senor, am a physician, and I am paid a salary in this +island to serve its governors as such, and I have a much greater regard +for their health than for my own, studying day and night and making +myself acquainted with the governor's constitution, in order to be able +to cure him when he falls sick. The chief thing I have to do is to attend +at his dinners and suppers and allow him to eat what appears to me to be +fit for him, and keep from him what I think will do him harm and be +injurious to his stomach; and therefore I ordered that plate of fruit to +be removed as being too moist, and that other dish I ordered to be +removed as being too hot and containing many spices that stimulate +thirst; for he who drinks much kills and consumes the radical moisture +wherein life consists." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "that dish of roast partridges there that seems +so savoury will not do me any harm." + +To this the physician replied, "Of those my lord the governor shall not +eat so long as I live." + +"Why so?" said Sancho. + +"Because," replied the doctor, "our master Hippocrates, the polestar and +beacon of medicine, says in one of his aphorisms omnis saturatio mala, +perdicis autem pessima, which means 'all repletion is bad, but that of +partridge is the worst of all." + +"In that case," said Sancho, "let senor doctor see among the dishes that +are on the table what will do me most good and least harm, and let me eat +it, without tapping it with his stick; for by the life of the governor, +and so may God suffer me to enjoy it, but I'm dying of hunger; and in +spite of the doctor and all he may say, to deny me food is the way to +take my life instead of prolonging it." + +"Your worship is right, senor governor," said the physician; "and +therefore your worship, I consider, should not eat of those stewed +rabbits there, because it is a furry kind of food; if that veal were not +roasted and served with pickles, you might try it; but it is out of the +question." + +"That big dish that is smoking farther off," said Sancho, "seems to me to +be an olla podrida, and out of the diversity of things in such ollas, I +can't fail to light upon something tasty and good for me." + +"Absit," said the doctor; "far from us be any such base thought! There is +nothing in the world less nourishing than an olla podrida; to canons, or +rectors of colleges, or peasants' weddings with your ollas podridas, but +let us have none of them on the tables of governors, where everything +that is present should be delicate and refined; and the reason is, that +always, everywhere and by everybody, simple medicines are more esteemed +than compound ones, for we cannot go wrong in those that are simple, +while in the compound we may, by merely altering the quantity of the +things composing them. But what I am of opinion the governor should cat +now in order to preserve and fortify his health is a hundred or so of +wafer cakes and a few thin slices of conserve of quinces, which will +settle his stomach and help his digestion." + +Sancho on hearing this threw himself back in his chair and surveyed the +doctor steadily, and in a solemn tone asked him what his name was and +where he had studied. + +He replied, "My name, senor governor, is Doctor Pedro Recio de Aguero I +am a native of a place called Tirteafuera which lies between Caracuel and +Almodovar del Campo, on the right-hand side, and I have the degree of +doctor from the university of Osuna." + +To which Sancho, glowing all over with rage, returned, "Then let Doctor +Pedro Recio de Malaguero, native of Tirteafuera, a place that's on the +right-hand side as we go from Caracuel to Almodovar del Campo, graduate +of Osuna, get out of my presence at once; or I swear by the sun I'll take +a cudgel, and by dint of blows, beginning with him, I'll not leave a +doctor in the whole island; at least of those I know to be ignorant; for +as to learned, wise, sensible physicians, them I will reverence and +honour as divine persons. Once more I say let Pedro Recio get out of this +or I'll take this chair I am sitting on and break it over his head. And +if they call me to account for it, I'll clear myself by saying I served +God in killing a bad doctor--a general executioner. And now give me +something to eat, or else take your government; for a trade that does not +feed its master is not worth two beans." + +The doctor was dismayed when he saw the governor in such a passion, and +he would have made a Tirteafuera out of the room but that the same +instant a post-horn sounded in the street; and the carver putting his +head out of the window turned round and said, "It's a courier from my +lord the duke, no doubt with some despatch of importance." + +The courier came in all sweating and flurried, and taking a paper from +his bosom, placed it in the governor's hands. Sancho handed it to the +majordomo and bade him read the superscription, which ran thus: To Don +Sancho Panza, Governor of the Island of Barataria, into his own hands or +those of his secretary. Sancho when he heard this said, "Which of you is +my secretary?" "I am, senor," said one of those present, "for I can read +and write, and am a Biscayan." "With that addition," said Sancho, "you +might be secretary to the emperor himself; open this paper and see what +it says." The new-born secretary obeyed, and having read the contents +said the matter was one to be discussed in private. Sancho ordered the +chamber to be cleared, the majordomo and the carver only remaining; so +the doctor and the others withdrew, and then the secretary read the +letter, which was as follows: + + +It has come to my knowledge, Senor Don Sancho Panza, that certain enemies +of mine and of the island are about to make a furious attack upon it some +night, I know not when. It behoves you to be on the alert and keep watch, +that they surprise you not. I also know by trustworthy spies that four +persons have entered the town in disguise in order to take your life, +because they stand in dread of your great capacity; keep your eyes open +and take heed who approaches you to address you, and eat nothing that is +presented to you. I will take care to send you aid if you find yourself +in difficulty, but in all things you will act as may be expected of your +judgment. From this place, the Sixteenth of August, at four in the +morning. + +Your friend, + +THE DUKE + + +Sancho was astonished, and those who stood by made believe to be so too, +and turning to the majordomo he said to him, "What we have got to do +first, and it must be done at once, is to put Doctor Recio in the +lock-up; for if anyone wants to kill me it is he, and by a slow death and +the worst of all, which is hunger." + +"Likewise," said the carver, "it is my opinion your worship should not +eat anything that is on this table, for the whole was a present from some +nuns; and as they say, 'behind the cross there's the devil.'" + +"I don't deny it," said Sancho; "so for the present give me a piece of +bread and four pounds or so of grapes; no poison can come in them; for +the fact is I can't go on without eating; and if we are to be prepared +for these battles that are threatening us we must be well provisioned; +for it is the tripes that carry the heart and not the heart the tripes. +And you, secretary, answer my lord the duke and tell him that all his +commands shall be obeyed to the letter, as he directs; and say from me to +my lady the duchess that I kiss her hands, and that I beg of her not to +forget to send my letter and bundle to my wife Teresa Panza by a +messenger; and I will take it as a great favour and will not fail to +serve her in all that may lie within my power; and as you are about it +you may enclose a kiss of the hand to my master Don Quixote that he may +see I am grateful bread; and as a good secretary and a good Biscayan you +may add whatever you like and whatever will come in best; and now take +away this cloth and give me something to eat, and I'll be ready to meet +all the spies and assassins and enchanters that may come against me or my +island." + +At this instant a page entered saying, "Here is a farmer on business, who +wants to speak to your lordship on a matter of great importance, he +says." + +"It's very odd," said Sancho, "the ways of these men on business; is it +possible they can be such fools as not to see that an hour like this is +no hour for coming on business? We who govern and we who are judges--are +we not men of flesh and blood, and are we not to be allowed the time +required for taking rest, unless they'd have us made of marble? By God +and on my conscience, if the government remains in my hands (which I have +a notion it won't), I'll bring more than one man on business to order. +However, tell this good man to come in; but take care first of all that +he is not some spy or one of my assassins." + +"No, my lord," said the page, "for he looks like a simple fellow, and +either I know very little or he is as good as good bread." + +"There is nothing to be afraid of," said the majordomo, "for we are all +here." + +"Would it be possible, carver," said Sancho, "now that Doctor Pedro Recio +is not here, to let me eat something solid and substantial, if it were +even a piece of bread and an onion?" + +"To-night at supper," said the carver, "the shortcomings of the dinner +shall be made good, and your lordship shall be fully contented." + +"God grant it," said Sancho. + +The farmer now came in, a well-favoured man that one might see a thousand +leagues off was an honest fellow and a good soul. The first thing he said +was, "Which is the lord governor here?" + +"Which should it be," said the secretary, "but he who is seated in the +chair?" + +"Then I humble myself before him," said the farmer; and going on his +knees he asked for his hand, to kiss it. Sancho refused it, and bade him +stand up and say what he wanted. The farmer obeyed, and then said, "I am +a farmer, senor, a native of Miguelturra, a village two leagues from +Ciudad Real." + +"Another Tirteafuera!" said Sancho; "say on, brother; I know Miguelturra +very well I can tell you, for it's not very far from my own town." + +"The case is this, senor," continued the farmer, "that by God's mercy I +am married with the leave and licence of the holy Roman Catholic Church; +I have two sons, students, and the younger is studying to become +bachelor, and the elder to be licentiate; I am a widower, for my wife +died, or more properly speaking, a bad doctor killed her on my hands, +giving her a purge when she was with child; and if it had pleased God +that the child had been born, and was a boy, I would have put him to +study for doctor, that he might not envy his brothers the bachelor and +the licentiate." + +"So that if your wife had not died, or had not been killed, you would not +now be a widower," said Sancho. + +"No, senor, certainly not," said the farmer. + +"We've got that much settled," said Sancho; "get on, brother, for it's +more bed-time than business-time." + +"Well then," said the farmer, "this son of mine who is going to be a +bachelor, fell in love in the said town with a damsel called Clara +Perlerina, daughter of Andres Perlerino, a very rich farmer; and this +name of Perlerines does not come to them by ancestry or descent, but +because all the family are paralytics, and for a better name they call +them Perlerines; though to tell the truth the damsel is as fair as an +Oriental pearl, and like a flower of the field, if you look at her on the +right side; on the left not so much, for on that side she wants an eye +that she lost by small-pox; and though her face is thickly and deeply +pitted, those who love her say they are not pits that are there, but the +graves where the hearts of her lovers are buried. She is so cleanly that +not to soil her face she carries her nose turned up, as they say, so that +one would fancy it was running away from her mouth; and with all this she +looks extremely well, for she has a wide mouth; and but for wanting ten +or a dozen teeth and grinders she might compare and compete with the +comeliest. Of her lips I say nothing, for they are so fine and thin that, +if lips might be reeled, one might make a skein of them; but being of a +different colour from ordinary lips they are wonderful, for they are +mottled, blue, green, and purple--let my lord the governor pardon me for +painting so minutely the charms of her who some time or other will be my +daughter; for I love her, and I don't find her amiss." + +"Paint what you will," said Sancho; "I enjoy your painting, and if I had +dined there could be no dessert more to my taste than your portrait." + +"That I have still to furnish," said the farmer; "but a time will come +when we may be able if we are not now; and I can tell you, senor, if I +could paint her gracefulness and her tall figure, it would astonish you; +but that is impossible because she is bent double with her knees up to +her mouth; but for all that it is easy to see that if she could stand up +she'd knock her head against the ceiling; and she would have given her +hand to my bachelor ere this, only that she can't stretch it out, for +it's contracted; but still one can see its elegance and fine make by its +long furrowed nails." + +"That will do, brother," said Sancho; "consider you have painted her from +head to foot; what is it you want now? Come to the point without all this +beating about the bush, and all these scraps and additions." + +"I want your worship, senor," said the farmer, "to do me the favour of +giving me a letter of recommendation to the girl's father, begging him to +be so good as to let this marriage take place, as we are not ill-matched +either in the gifts of fortune or of nature; for to tell the truth, senor +governor, my son is possessed of a devil, and there is not a day but the +evil spirits torment him three or four times; and from having once fallen +into the fire, he has his face puckered up like a piece of parchment, and +his eyes watery and always running; but he has the disposition of an +angel, and if it was not for belabouring and pummelling himself he'd be a +saint." + +"Is there anything else you want, good man?" said Sancho. + +"There's another thing I'd like," said the farmer, "but I'm afraid to +mention it; however, out it must; for after all I can't let it be rotting +in my breast, come what may. I mean, senor, that I'd like your worship to +give me three hundred or six hundred ducats as a help to my bachelor's +portion, to help him in setting up house; for they must, in short, live +by themselves, without being subject to the interferences of their +fathers-in-law." + +"Just see if there's anything else you'd like," said Sancho, "and don't +hold back from mentioning it out of bashfulness or modesty." + +"No, indeed there is not," said the farmer. + +The moment he said this the governor started to his feet, and seizing the +chair he had been sitting on exclaimed, "By all that's good, you +ill-bred, boorish Don Bumpkin, if you don't get out of this at once and +hide yourself from my sight, I'll lay your head open with this chair. You +whoreson rascal, you devil's own painter, and is it at this hour you come +to ask me for six hundred ducats! How should I have them, you stinking +brute? And why should I give them to you if I had them, you knave and +blockhead? What have I to do with Miguelturra or the whole family of the +Perlerines? Get out I say, or by the life of my lord the duke I'll do as +I said. You're not from Miguelturra, but some knave sent here from hell +to tempt me. Why, you villain, I have not yet had the government half a +day, and you want me to have six hundred ducats already!" + +The carver made signs to the farmer to leave the room, which he did with +his head down, and to all appearance in terror lest the governor should +carry his threats into effect, for the rogue knew very well how to play +his part. + +But let us leave Sancho in his wrath, and peace be with them all; and let +us return to Don Quixote, whom we left with his face bandaged and +doctored after the cat wounds, of which he was not cured for eight days; +and on one of these there befell him what Cide Hamete promises to relate +with that exactitude and truth with which he is wont to set forth +everything connected with this great history, however minute it may be. + + + + +CHAPTER XLVIII. + +OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS'S DUENNA, +TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL REMEMBRANCE + + +Exceedingly moody and dejected was the sorely wounded Don Quixote, with +his face bandaged and marked, not by the hand of God, but by the claws of +a cat, mishaps incidental to knight-errantry. + +Six days he remained without appearing in public, and one night as he lay +awake thinking of his misfortunes and of Altisidora's pursuit of him, he +perceived that some one was opening the door of his room with a key, and +he at once made up his mind that the enamoured damsel was coming to make +an assault upon his chastity and put him in danger of failing in the +fidelity he owed to his lady Dulcinea del Toboso. "No," said he, firmly +persuaded of the truth of his idea (and he said it loud enough to be +heard), "the greatest beauty upon earth shall not avail to make me +renounce my adoration of her whom I bear stamped and graved in the core +of my heart and the secret depths of my bowels; be thou, lady mine, +transformed into a clumsy country wench, or into a nymph of golden Tagus +weaving a web of silk and gold, let Merlin or Montesinos hold thee +captive where they will; whereer thou art, thou art mine, and where'er I +am, must be thine." The very instant he had uttered these words, the door +opened. He stood up on the bed wrapped from head to foot in a yellow +satin coverlet, with a cap on his head, and his face and his moustaches +tied up, his face because of the scratches, and his moustaches to keep +them from drooping and falling down, in which trim he looked the most +extraordinary scarecrow that could be conceived. He kept his eyes fixed +on the door, and just as he was expecting to see the love-smitten and +unhappy Altisidora make her appearance, he saw coming in a most venerable +duenna, in a long white-bordered veil that covered and enveloped her from +head to foot. Between the fingers of her left hand she held a short +lighted candle, while with her right she shaded it to keep the light from +her eyes, which were covered by spectacles of great size, and she +advanced with noiseless steps, treading very softly. + +Don Quixote kept an eye upon her from his watchtower, and observing her +costume and noting her silence, he concluded that it must be some witch +or sorceress that was coming in such a guise to work him some mischief, +and he began crossing himself at a great rate. The spectre still +advanced, and on reaching the middle of the room, looked up and saw the +energy with which Don Quixote was crossing himself; and if he was scared +by seeing such a figure as hers, she was terrified at the sight of his; +for the moment she saw his tall yellow form with the coverlet and the +bandages that disfigured him, she gave a loud scream, and exclaiming, +"Jesus! what's this I see?" let fall the candle in her fright, and then +finding herself in the dark, turned about to make off, but stumbling on +her skirts in her consternation, she measured her length with a mighty +fall. + +Don Quixote in his trepidation began saying, "I conjure thee, phantom, or +whatever thou art, tell me what thou art and what thou wouldst with me. +If thou art a soul in torment, say so, and all that my powers can do I +will do for thee; for I am a Catholic Christian and love to do good to +all the world, and to this end I have embraced the order of +knight-errantry to which I belong, the province of which extends to doing +good even to souls in purgatory." + +The unfortunate duenna hearing herself thus conjured, by her own fear +guessed Don Quixote's and in a low plaintive voice answered, "Senor Don +Quixote--if so be you are indeed Don Quixote--I am no phantom or spectre +or soul in purgatory, as you seem to think, but Dona Rodriguez, duenna of +honour to my lady the duchess, and I come to you with one of those +grievances your worship is wont to redress." + +"Tell me, Senora Dona Rodriguez," said Don Quixote, "do you perchance +come to transact any go-between business? Because I must tell you I am +not available for anybody's purpose, thanks to the peerless beauty of my +lady Dulcinea del Toboso. In short, Senora Dona Rodriguez, if you will +leave out and put aside all love messages, you may go and light your +candle and come back, and we will discuss all the commands you have for +me and whatever you wish, saving only, as I said, all seductive +communications." + +"I carry nobody's messages, senor," said the duenna; "little you know me. +Nay, I'm not far enough advanced in years to take to any such childish +tricks. God be praised I have a soul in my body still, and all my teeth +and grinders in my mouth, except one or two that the colds, so common in +this Aragon country, have robbed me of. But wait a little, while I go and +light my candle, and I will return immediately and lay my sorrows before +you as before one who relieves those of all the world;" and without +staying for an answer she quitted the room and left Don Quixote +tranquilly meditating while he waited for her. A thousand thoughts at +once suggested themselves to him on the subject of this new adventure, +and it struck him as being ill done and worse advised in him to expose +himself to the danger of breaking his plighted faith to his lady; and +said he to himself, "Who knows but that the devil, being wily and +cunning, may be trying now to entrap me with a duenna, having failed with +empresses, queens, duchesses, marchionesses, and countesses? Many a time +have I heard it said by many a man of sense that he will sooner offer you +a flat-nosed wench than a roman-nosed one; and who knows but this +privacy, this opportunity, this silence, may awaken my sleeping desires, +and lead me in these my latter years to fall where I have never tripped? +In cases of this sort it is better to flee than to await the battle. But +I must be out of my senses to think and utter such nonsense; for it is +impossible that a long, white-hooded spectacled duenna could stir up or +excite a wanton thought in the most graceless bosom in the world. Is +there a duenna on earth that has fair flesh? Is there a duenna in the +world that escapes being ill-tempered, wrinkled, and prudish? Avaunt, +then, ye duenna crew, undelightful to all mankind. Oh, but that lady did +well who, they say, had at the end of her reception room a couple of +figures of duennas with spectacles and lace-cushions, as if at work, and +those statues served quite as well to give an air of propriety to the +room as if they had been real duennas." + +So saying he leaped off the bed, intending to close the door and not +allow Senora Rodriguez to enter; but as he went to shut it Senora +Rodriguez returned with a wax candle lighted, and having a closer view of +Don Quixote, with the coverlet round him, and his bandages and night-cap, +she was alarmed afresh, and retreating a couple of paces, exclaimed, "Am +I safe, sir knight? for I don't look upon it as a sign of very great +virtue that your worship should have got up out of bed." + +"I may well ask the same, senora," said Don Quixote; "and I do ask +whether I shall be safe from being assailed and forced?" + +"Of whom and against whom do you demand that security, sir knight?" said +the duenna. + +"Of you and against you I ask it," said Don Quixote; "for I am not +marble, nor are you brass, nor is it now ten o'clock in the morning, but +midnight, or a trifle past it I fancy, and we are in a room more secluded +and retired than the cave could have been where the treacherous and +daring AEneas enjoyed the fair soft-hearted Dido. But give me your hand, +senora; I require no better protection than my own continence, and my own +sense of propriety; as well as that which is inspired by that venerable +head-dress;" and so saying he kissed her right hand and took it in his +own, she yielding it to him with equal ceremoniousness. And here Cide +Hamete inserts a parenthesis in which he says that to have seen the pair +marching from the door to the bed, linked hand in hand in this way, he +would have given the best of the two tunics he had. + +Don Quixote finally got into bed, and Dona Rodriguez took her seat on a +chair at some little distance from his couch, without taking off her +spectacles or putting aside the candle. Don Quixote wrapped the +bedclothes round him and covered himself up completely, leaving nothing +but his face visible, and as soon as they had both regained their +composure he broke silence, saying, "Now, Senora Dona Rodriguez, you may +unbosom yourself and out with everything you have in your sorrowful heart +and afflicted bowels; and by me you shall be listened to with chaste +ears, and aided by compassionate exertions." + +"I believe it," replied the duenna; "from your worship's gentle and +winning presence only such a Christian answer could be expected. The fact +is, then, Senor Don Quixote, that though you see me seated in this chair, +here in the middle of the kingdom of Aragon, and in the attire of a +despised outcast duenna, I am from the Asturias of Oviedo, and of a +family with which many of the best of the province are connected by +blood; but my untoward fate and the improvidence of my parents, who, I +know not how, were unseasonably reduced to poverty, brought me to the +court of Madrid, where as a provision and to avoid greater misfortunes, +my parents placed me as seamstress in the service of a lady of quality, +and I would have you know that for hemming and sewing I have never been +surpassed by any all my life. My parents left me in service and returned +to their own country, and a few years later went, no doubt, to heaven, +for they were excellent good Catholic Christians. I was left an orphan +with nothing but the miserable wages and trifling presents that are given +to servants of my sort in palaces; but about this time, without any +encouragement on my part, one of the esquires of the household fell in +love with me, a man somewhat advanced in years, full-bearded and +personable, and above all as good a gentleman as the king himself, for he +came of a mountain stock. We did not carry on our loves with such secrecy +but that they came to the knowledge of my lady, and she, not to have any +fuss about it, had us married with the full sanction of the holy mother +Roman Catholic Church, of which marriage a daughter was born to put an +end to my good fortune, if I had any; not that I died in childbirth, for +I passed through it safely and in due season, but because shortly +afterwards my husband died of a certain shock he received, and had I time +to tell you of it I know your worship would be surprised;" and here she +began to weep bitterly and said, "Pardon me, Senor Don Quixote, if I am +unable to control myself, for every time I think of my unfortunate +husband my eyes fill up with tears. God bless me, with what an air of +dignity he used to carry my lady behind him on a stout mule as black as +jet! for in those days they did not use coaches or chairs, as they say +they do now, and ladies rode behind their squires. This much at least I +cannot help telling you, that you may observe the good breeding and +punctiliousness of my worthy husband. As he was turning into the Calle de +Santiago in Madrid, which is rather narrow, one of the alcaldes of the +Court, with two alguacils before him, was coming out of it, and as soon +as my good squire saw him he wheeled his mule about and made as if he +would turn and accompany him. My lady, who was riding behind him, said to +him in a low voice, 'What are you about, you sneak, don't you see that I +am here?' The alcalde like a polite man pulled up his horse and said to +him, 'Proceed, senor, for it is I, rather, who ought to accompany my lady +Dona Casilda'--for that was my mistress's name. Still my husband, cap in +hand, persisted in trying to accompany the alcalde, and seeing this my +lady, filled with rage and vexation, pulled out a big pin, or, I rather +think, a bodkin, out of her needle-case and drove it into his back with +such force that my husband gave a loud yell, and writhing fell to the +ground with his lady. Her two lacqueys ran to rise her up, and the +alcalde and the alguacils did the same; the Guadalajara gate was all in +commotion--I mean the idlers congregated there; my mistress came back on +foot, and my husband hurried away to a barber's shop protesting that he +was run right through the guts. The courtesy of my husband was noised +abroad to such an extent, that the boys gave him no peace in the street; +and on this account, and because he was somewhat shortsighted, my lady +dismissed him; and it was chagrin at this I am convinced beyond a doubt +that brought on his death. I was left a helpless widow, with a daughter +on my hands growing up in beauty like the sea-foam; at length, however, +as I had the character of being an excellent needlewoman, my lady the +duchess, then lately married to my lord the duke, offered to take me with +her to this kingdom of Aragon, and my daughter also, and here as time +went by my daughter grew up and with her all the graces in the world; she +sings like a lark, dances quick as thought, foots it like a gipsy, reads +and writes like a schoolmaster, and does sums like a miser; of her +neatness I say nothing, for the running water is not purer, and her age +is now, if my memory serves me, sixteen years five months and three days, +one more or less. To come to the point, the son of a very rich farmer, +living in a village of my lord the duke's not very far from here, fell in +love with this girl of mine; and in short, how I know not, they came +together, and under the promise of marrying her he made a fool of my +daughter, and will not keep his word. And though my lord the duke is +aware of it (for I have complained to him, not once but many and many a +time, and entreated him to order the farmer to marry my daughter), he +turns a deaf ear and will scarcely listen to me; the reason being that as +the deceiver's father is so rich, and lends him money, and is constantly +going security for his debts, he does not like to offend or annoy him in +any way. Now, senor, I want your worship to take it upon yourself to +redress this wrong either by entreaty or by arms; for by what all the +world says you came into it to redress grievances and right wrongs and +help the unfortunate. Let your worship put before you the unprotected +condition of my daughter, her youth, and all the perfections I have said +she possesses; and before God and on my conscience, out of all the +damsels my lady has, there is not one that comes up to the sole of her +shoe, and the one they call Altisidora, and look upon as the boldest and +gayest of them, put in comparison with my daughter, does not come within +two leagues of her. For I would have you know, senor, all is not gold +that glitters, and that same little Altisidora has more forwardness than +good looks, and more impudence than modesty; besides being not very +sound, for she has such a disagreeable breath that one cannot bear to be +near her for a moment; and even my lady the duchess--but I'll hold my +tongue, for they say that walls have ears." + +"For heaven's sake, Dona Rodriguez, what ails my lady the duchess?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"Adjured in that way," replied the duenna, "I cannot help answering the +question and telling the whole truth. Senor Don Quixote, have you +observed the comeliness of my lady the duchess, that smooth complexion of +hers like a burnished polished sword, those two cheeks of milk and +carmine, that gay lively step with which she treads or rather seems to +spurn the earth, so that one would fancy she went radiating health +wherever she passed? Well then, let me tell you she may thank, first of +all God, for this, and next, two issues that she has, one in each leg, by +which all the evil humours, of which the doctors say she is full, are +discharged." + +"Blessed Virgin!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "and is it possible that my lady +the duchess has drains of that sort? I would not have believed it if the +barefoot friars had told it me; but as the lady Dona Rodriguez says so, +it must be so. But surely such issues, and in such places, do not +discharge humours, but liquid amber. Verily, I do believe now that this +practice of opening issues is a very important matter for the health." + +Don Quixote had hardly said this, when the chamber door flew open with a +loud bang, and with the start the noise gave her Dona Rodriguez let the +candle fall from her hand, and the room was left as dark as a wolf's +mouth, as the saying is. Suddenly the poor duenna felt two hands seize +her by the throat, so tightly that she could not croak, while some one +else, without uttering a word, very briskly hoisted up her petticoats, +and with what seemed to be a slipper began to lay on so heartily that +anyone would have felt pity for her; but although Don Quixote felt it he +never stirred from his bed, but lay quiet and silent, nay apprehensive +that his turn for a drubbing might be coming. Nor was the apprehension an +idle one; one; for leaving the duenna (who did not dare to cry out) well +basted, the silent executioners fell upon Don Quixote, and stripping him +of the sheet and the coverlet, they pinched him so fast and so hard that +he was driven to defend himself with his fists, and all this in +marvellous silence. The battle lasted nearly half an hour, and then the +phantoms fled; Dona Rodriguez gathered up her skirts, and bemoaning her +fate went out without saying a word to Don Quixote, and he, sorely +pinched, puzzled, and dejected, remained alone, and there we will leave +him, wondering who could have been the perverse enchanter who had reduced +him to such a state; but that shall be told in due season, for Sancho +claims our attention, and the methodical arrangement of the story demands +it. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., +Part 32, by Miguel de Cervantes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 32 *** + +***** This file should be named 5935.txt or 5935.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/9/3/5935/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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