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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, By Cervantes, Vol. II., Part 29</title>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
+
+<style type="text/css">
+ <!--
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+ P { text-indent: 1em;
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+ margin-bottom: .75em; }
+ H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+ HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; }
+ blockquote {font-size: 97%; }
+ .figleft {float: left;}
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+ CENTER { padding: 10px;}
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+<body>
+
+<h2>THE HISTORY OF DON QUIXOTE, Vol. II., Part 29</h2>
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part
+29, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 29
+
+Author: Miguel de Cervantes
+
+Release Date: July 24, 2004 [EBook #5932]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 29 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<br>
+<hr>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center>
+<h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1>
+<br>
+<h2>by Miguel de Cervantes</h2>
+<br>
+<h3>Translated by John Ormsby</h3>
+</center>
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h3>
+Volume II.,&nbsp; Part 29
+<br><br>
+Chapters 32-35
+</h3></center>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="bookcover.jpg (230K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" height="842" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/bookcover.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="spine.jpg (152K)" src="images/spine.jpg" height="842" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/spine.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center>
+<h3>Ebook Editor's Note</h3>
+</center>
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<p>
+The book cover and spine above and the images which follow were not part of the original Ormsby
+translation&mdash;they are taken from the 1880 edition of J. W. Clark, illustrated by
+Gustave Dore. Clark in his edition states that, "The English text of 'Don Quixote'
+adopted in this edition is that of Jarvis, with occasional corrections from Motteaux."
+See in the introduction below John Ormsby's critique of
+both the Jarvis and Motteaux translations. It has been elected in the present Project Gutenberg edition
+to attach the famous engravings of Gustave Dore to the Ormsby translation instead
+of the Jarvis/Motteaux. The detail of many of the Dore engravings can be fully appreciated only
+by utilizing the "Enlarge" button to expand them to their original dimensions. Ormsby
+in his Preface has criticized the fanciful nature of Dore's illustrations; others feel
+these woodcuts and steel engravings well match Quixote's dreams.
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;D.W.</p>
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center>
+<img alt="p003.jpg (307K)" src="images/p003.jpg" height="813" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p003.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg">
+</a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><h2>CONTENTS</h2></center>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+<a href="#ch32b">CHAPTER XXXII</a>
+OF THE REPLY DON QUIXOTE GAVE HIS CENSURER, WITH OTHER
+INCIDENTS, GRAVE AND DROLL
+
+<a href="#ch33b">CHAPTER XXXIII</a>
+OF THE DELECTABLE DISCOURSE WHICH THE DUCHESS AND HER
+DAMSELS HELD WITH SANCHO PANZA, WELL WORTH READING AND
+NOTING
+
+<a href="#ch34b">CHAPTER XXXIV</a>
+WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY
+WERE TO DISENCHANT THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO,
+WHICH IS ONE OF THE RAREST ADVENTURES IN THIS BOOK
+
+<a href="#ch35b">CHAPTER XXXV</a>
+WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO DON QUIXOTE
+TOUCHING THE DISENCHANTMENT OF DULCINEA, TOGETHER WITH
+OTHER MARVELLOUS INCIDENTS
+
+</pre>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><h1>DON QUIXOTE</h1></center>
+<br><br>
+<center><h2>Volume II.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch32b"></a>CHAPTER XXXII.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>OF THE REPLY DON QUIXOTE GAVE HIS CENSURER, WITH OTHER INCIDENTS,
+GRAVE AND DROLL
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p32a"></a><img alt="p32a.jpg (152K)" src="images/p32a.jpg" height="436" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p32a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Don Quixote, then, having risen to his feet, trembling from head
+to foot like a man dosed with mercury, said in a hurried, agitated
+voice, "The place I am in, the presence in which I stand, and the
+respect I have and always have had for the profession to which your
+worship belongs, hold and bind the hands of my just indignation; and
+as well for these reasons as because I know, as everyone knows, that a
+gownsman's weapon is the same as a woman's, the tongue, I will with
+mine engage in equal combat with your worship, from whom one might
+have expected good advice instead of foul abuse. Pious, well-meant
+reproof requires a different demeanour and arguments of another
+sort; at any rate, to have reproved me in public, and so roughly,
+exceeds the bounds of proper reproof, for that comes better with
+gentleness than with rudeness; and it is not seemly to call the sinner
+roundly blockhead and booby, without knowing anything of the sin
+that is reproved. Come, tell me, for which of the stupidities you have
+observed in me do you condemn and abuse me, and bid me go home and
+look after my house and wife and children, without knowing whether I
+have any? Is nothing more needed than to get a footing, by hook or
+by crook, in other people's houses to rule over the masters (and that,
+perhaps, after having been brought up in all the straitness of some
+seminary, and without having ever seen more of the world than may
+lie within twenty or thirty leagues round), to fit one to lay down the
+law rashly for chivalry, and pass judgment on knights-errant? Is it,
+haply, an idle occupation, or is the time ill-spent that is spent in
+roaming the world in quest, not of its enjoyments, but of those
+arduous toils whereby the good mount upwards to the abodes of
+everlasting life? If gentlemen, great lords, nobles, men of high
+birth, were to rate me as a fool I should take it as an irreparable
+insult; but I care not a farthing if clerks who have never entered
+upon or trod the paths of chivalry should think me foolish. Knight I
+am, and knight I will die, if such be the pleasure of the Most High.
+Some take the broad road of overweening ambition; others that of
+mean and servile flattery; others that of deceitful hypocrisy, and
+some that of true religion; but I, led by my star, follow the narrow
+path of knight-errantry, and in pursuit of that calling I despise
+wealth, but not honour. I have redressed injuries, righted wrongs,
+punished insolences, vanquished giants, and crushed monsters; I am
+in love, for no other reason than that it is incumbent on
+knights-errant to be so; but though I am, I am no carnal-minded lover,
+but one of the chaste, platonic sort. My intentions are always
+directed to worthy ends, to do good to all and evil to none; and if he
+who means this, does this, and makes this his practice deserves to
+be called a fool, it is for your highnesses to say, O most excellent
+duke and duchess."</p>
+
+<p>"Good, by God!" cried Sancho; "say no more in your own defence,
+master mine, for there's nothing more in the world to be said,
+thought, or insisted on; and besides, when this gentleman denies, as
+he has, that there are or ever have been any knights-errant in the
+world, is it any wonder if he knows nothing of what he has been
+talking about?"</p>
+
+<p>"Perhaps, brother," said the ecclesiastic, "you are that Sancho
+Panza that is mentioned, to whom your master has promised an island?"</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I am," said Sancho, "and what's more, I am one who deserves it
+as much as anyone; I am one of the sort&mdash;'Attach thyself to the
+good, and thou wilt be one of them,' and of those, 'Not with whom thou
+art bred, but with whom thou art fed,' and of those, 'Who leans
+against a good tree, a good shade covers him;' I have leant upon a
+good master, and I have been for months going about with him, and
+please God I shall be just such another; long life to him and long
+life to me, for neither will he be in any want of empires to rule,
+or I of islands to govern."</p>
+
+<p>"No, Sancho my friend, certainly not," said the duke, "for in the
+name of Senor Don Quixote I confer upon you the government of one of
+no small importance that I have at my disposal."</p>
+
+<p>"Go down on thy knees, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and kiss the feet
+of his excellence for the favour he has bestowed upon thee."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho obeyed, and on seeing this the ecclesiastic stood up from
+table completely out of temper, exclaiming, "By the gown I wear, I
+am almost inclined to say that your excellence is as great a fool as
+these sinners. No wonder they are mad, when people who are in their
+senses sanction their madness! I leave your excellence with them,
+for so long as they are in the house, I will remain in my own, and
+spare myself the trouble of reproving what I cannot remedy;" and
+without uttering another word, or eating another morsel, he went
+off, the entreaties of the duke and duchess being entirely
+unavailing to stop him; not that the duke said much to him, for he
+could not, because of the laughter his uncalled-for anger provoked.</p>
+
+<p>When he had done laughing, he said to Don Quixote, "You have replied
+on your own behalf so stoutly, Sir Knight of the Lions, that there
+is no occasion to seek further satisfaction for this, which, though it
+may look like an offence, is not so at all, for, as women can give
+no offence, no more can ecclesiastics, as you very well know."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and the reason is, that he who is
+not liable to offence cannot give offence to anyone. Women,
+children, and ecclesiastics, as they cannot defend themselves,
+though they may receive offence cannot be insulted, because between
+the offence and the insult there is, as your excellence very well
+knows, this difference: the insult comes from one who is capable of
+offering it, and does so, and maintains it; the offence may come
+from any quarter without carrying insult. To take an example: a man is
+standing unsuspectingly in the street and ten others come up armed and
+beat him; he draws his sword and quits himself like a man, but the
+number of his antagonists makes it impossible for him to effect his
+purpose and avenge himself; this man suffers an offence but not an
+insult. Another example will make the same thing plain: a man is
+standing with his back turned, another comes up and strikes him, and
+after striking him takes to flight, without waiting an instant, and
+the other pursues him but does not overtake him; he who received the
+blow received an offence, but not an insult, because an insult must be
+maintained. If he who struck him, though he did so sneakingly and
+treacherously, had drawn his sword and stood and faced him, then he
+who had been struck would have received offence and insult at the same
+time; offence because he was struck treacherously, insult because he
+who struck him maintained what he had done, standing his ground
+without taking to flight. And so, according to the laws of the
+accursed duel, I may have received offence, but not insult, for
+neither women nor children can maintain it, nor can they wound, nor
+have they any way of standing their ground, and it is just the same
+with those connected with religion; for these three sorts of persons
+are without arms offensive or defensive, and so, though naturally they
+are bound to defend themselves, they have no right to offend
+anybody; and though I said just now I might have received offence, I
+say now certainly not, for he who cannot receive an insult can still
+less give one; for which reasons I ought not to feel, nor do I feel,
+aggrieved at what that good man said to me; I only wish he had
+stayed a little longer, that I might have shown him the mistake he
+makes in supposing and maintaining that there are not and never have
+been any knights-errant in the world; had Amadis or any of his
+countless descendants heard him say as much, I am sure it would not
+have gone well with his worship."</p>
+
+<p>"I will take my oath of that," said Sancho; "they would have given
+him a slash that would have slit him down from top to toe like a
+pomegranate or a ripe melon; they were likely fellows to put up with
+jokes of that sort! By my faith, I'm certain if Reinaldos of Montalvan
+had heard the little man's words he would have given him such a
+spank on the mouth that he wouldn't have spoken for the next three
+years; ay, let him tackle them, and he'll see how he'll get out of
+their hands!"</p>
+
+<p>The duchess, as she listened to Sancho, was ready to die with
+laughter, and in her own mind she set him down as droller and madder
+than his master; and there were a good many just then who were of
+the same opinion.</p>
+
+<p>Don Quixote finally grew calm, and dinner came to an end, and as the
+cloth was removed four damsels came in, one of them with a silver
+basin, another with a jug also of silver, a third with two fine
+white towels on her shoulder, and the fourth with her arms bared to
+the elbows, and in her white hands (for white they certainly were) a
+round ball of Naples soap. The one with the basin approached, and with
+arch composure and impudence, thrust it under Don Quixote's chin, who,
+wondering at such a ceremony, said never a word, supposing it to be
+the custom of that country to wash beards instead of hands; he
+therefore stretched his out as far as he could, and at the same
+instant the jug began to pour and the damsel with the soap rubbed
+his beard briskly, raising snow-flakes, for the soap lather was no
+less white, not only over the beard, but all over the face, and over
+the eyes of the submissive knight, so that they were perforce
+obliged to keep shut. The duke and duchess, who had not known anything
+about this, waited to see what came of this strange washing. The
+barber damsel, when she had him a hand's breadth deep in lather,
+pretended that there was no more water, and bade the one with the
+jug go and fetch some, while Senor Don Quixote waited. She did so, and
+Don Quixote was left the strangest and most ludicrous figure that
+could be imagined. All those present, and there were a good many, were
+watching him, and as they saw him there with half a yard of neck,
+and that uncommonly brown, his eyes shut, and his beard full of
+soap, it was a great wonder, and only by great discretion, that they
+were able to restrain their laughter. The damsels, the concocters of
+the joke, kept their eyes down, not daring to look at their master and
+mistress; and as for them, laughter and anger struggled within them,
+and they knew not what to do, whether to punish the audacity of the
+girls, or to reward them for the amusement they had received from
+seeing Don Quixote in such a plight.</p>
+
+<p>At length the damsel with the jug returned and they made an end of
+washing Don Quixote, and the one who carried the towels very
+deliberately wiped him and dried him; and all four together making him
+a profound obeisance and curtsey, they were about to go, when the
+duke, lest Don Quixote should see through the joke, called out to
+the one with the basin saying, "Come and wash me, and take care that
+there is water enough." The girl, sharp-witted and prompt, came and
+placed the basin for the duke as she had done for Don Quixote, and
+they soon had him well soaped and washed, and having wiped him dry
+they made their obeisance and retired. It appeared afterwards that the
+duke had sworn that if they had not washed him as they had Don Quixote
+he would have punished them for their impudence, which they adroitly
+atoned for by soaping him as well.</p>
+
+<p>Sancho observed the ceremony of the washing very attentively, and
+said to himself, "God bless me, if it were only the custom in this
+country to wash squires' beards too as well as knights'. For by God
+and upon my soul I want it badly; and if they gave me a scrape of
+the razor besides I'd take it as a still greater kindness."</p>
+
+<p>"What are you saying to yourself, Sancho?" asked the duchess.</p>
+
+<p>"I was saying, senora," he replied, "that in the courts of other
+princes, when the cloth is taken away, I have always heard say they
+give water for the hands, but not lye for the beard; and that shows it
+is good to live long that you may see much; to be sure, they say too
+that he who lives a long life must undergo much evil, though to
+undergo a washing of that sort is pleasure rather than pain."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't be uneasy, friend Sancho," said the duchess; "I will take
+care that my damsels wash you, and even put you in the tub if
+necessary."</p>
+
+<p>"I'll be content with the beard," said Sancho, "at any rate for
+the present; and as for the future, God has decreed what is to be."</p>
+
+<p>"Attend to worthy Sancho's request, seneschal," said the duchess,
+"and do exactly what he wishes."</p>
+
+<p>The seneschal replied that Senor Sancho should be obeyed in
+everything; and with that he went away to dinner and took Sancho along
+with him, while the duke and duchess and Don Quixote remained at table
+discussing a great variety of things, but all bearing on the calling
+of arms and knight-errantry.</p>
+
+<p>The duchess begged Don Quixote, as he seemed to have a retentive
+memory, to describe and portray to her the beauty and features of
+the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, for, judging by what fame trumpeted
+abroad of her beauty, she felt sure she must be the fairest creature
+in the world, nay, in all La Mancha.</p>
+
+<p>Don Quixote sighed on hearing the duchess's request, and said, "If I
+could pluck out my heart, and lay it on a plate on this table here
+before your highness's eyes, it would spare my tongue the pain of
+telling what can hardly be thought of, for in it your excellence would
+see her portrayed in full. But why should I attempt to depict and
+describe in detail, and feature by feature, the beauty of the peerless
+Dulcinea, the burden being one worthy of other shoulders than mine, an
+enterprise wherein the pencils of Parrhasius, Timantes, and Apelles,
+and the graver of Lysippus ought to be employed, to paint it in
+pictures and carve it in marble and bronze, and Ciceronian and
+Demosthenian eloquence to sound its praises?"</p>
+
+<p>"What does Demosthenian mean, Senor Don Quixote?" said the
+duchess; "it is a word I never heard in all my life."</p>
+
+<p>"Demosthenian eloquence," said Don Quixote, "means the eloquence
+of Demosthenes, as Ciceronian means that of Cicero, who were the two
+most eloquent orators in the world."</p>
+
+<p>"True," said the duke; "you must have lost your wits to ask such a
+question. Nevertheless, Senor Don Quixote would greatly gratify us
+if he would depict her to us; for never fear, even in an outline or
+sketch she will be something to make the fairest envious."</p>
+
+<p>"I would do so certainly," said Don Quixote, "had she not been
+blurred to my mind's eye by the misfortune that fell upon her a
+short time since, one of such a nature that I am more ready to weep
+over it than to describe it. For your highnesses must know that, going
+a few days back to kiss her hands and receive her benediction,
+approbation, and permission for this third sally, I found her
+altogether a different being from the one I sought; I found her
+enchanted and changed from a princess into a peasant, from fair to
+foul, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant to pestiferous, from
+refined to clownish, from a dignified lady into a jumping tomboy, and,
+in a word, from Dulcinea del Toboso into a coarse Sayago wench."</p>
+
+<p>"God bless me!" said the duke aloud at this, "who can have done
+the world such an injury? Who can have robbed it of the beauty that
+gladdened it, of the grace and gaiety that charmed it, of the
+modesty that shed a lustre upon it?"</p>
+
+<p>"Who?" replied Don Quixote; "who could it be but some malignant
+enchanter of the many that persecute me out of envy&mdash;that accursed
+race born into the world to obscure and bring to naught the
+achievements of the good, and glorify and exalt the deeds of the
+wicked? Enchanters have persecuted me, enchanters persecute me
+still, and enchanters will continue to persecute me until they have
+sunk me and my lofty chivalry in the deep abyss of oblivion; and
+they injure and wound me where they know I feel it most. For to
+deprive a knight-errant of his lady is to deprive him of the eyes he
+sees with, of the sun that gives him light, of the food whereby he
+lives. Many a time before have I said it, and I say it now once
+more, a knight-errant without a lady is like a tree without leaves,
+a building without a foundation, or a shadow without the body that
+causes it."</p>
+
+<p>"There is no denying it," said the duchess; "but still, if we are to
+believe the history of Don Quixote that has come out here lately
+with general applause, it is to be inferred from it, if I mistake not,
+that you never saw the lady Dulcinea, and that the said lady is
+nothing in the world but an imaginary lady, one that you yourself
+begot and gave birth to in your brain, and adorned with whatever
+charms and perfections you chose."</p>
+
+<p>"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote;
+"God knows whether there be any Dulcinea or not in the world, or
+whether she is imaginary or not imaginary; these are things the
+proof of which must not be pushed to extreme lengths. I have not
+begotten nor given birth to my lady, though I behold her as she
+needs must be, a lady who contains in herself all the qualities to
+make her famous throughout the world, beautiful without blemish,
+dignified without haughtiness, tender and yet modest, gracious from
+courtesy and courteous from good breeding, and lastly, of exalted
+lineage, because beauty shines forth and excels with a higher degree
+of perfection upon good blood than in the fair of lowly birth."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the duke; "but Senor Don Quixote will give me
+leave to say what I am constrained to say by the story of his exploits
+that I have read, from which it is to be inferred that, granting there
+is a Dulcinea in El Toboso, or out of it, and that she is in the
+highest degree beautiful as you have described her to us, as regards
+the loftiness of her lineage she is not on a par with the Orianas,
+Alastrajareas, Madasimas, or others of that sort, with whom, as you
+well know, the histories abound."</p>
+
+<p>"To that I may reply," said Don Quixote, "that Dulcinea is the
+daughter of her own works, and that virtues rectify blood, and that
+lowly virtue is more to be regarded and esteemed than exalted vice.
+Dulcinea, besides, has that within her that may raise her to be a
+crowned and sceptred queen; for the merit of a fair and virtuous woman
+is capable of performing greater miracles; and virtually, though not
+formally, she has in herself higher fortunes."</p>
+
+<p>"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that in all you
+say, you go most cautiously and lead in hand, as the saying is;
+henceforth I will believe myself, and I will take care that everyone
+in my house believes, even my lord the duke if needs be, that there is
+a Dulcinea in El Toboso, and that she is living to-day, and that she
+is beautiful and nobly born and deserves to have such a knight as
+Senor Don Quixote in her service, and that is the highest praise
+that it is in my power to give her or that I can think of. But I
+cannot help entertaining a doubt, and having a certain grudge
+against Sancho Panza; the doubt is this, that the aforesaid history
+declares that the said Sancho Panza, when he carried a letter on
+your worship's behalf to the said lady Dulcinea, found her sifting a
+sack of wheat; and more by token it says it was red wheat; a thing
+which makes me doubt the loftiness of her lineage."</p>
+
+<p>To this Don Quixote made answer, "Senora, your highness must know
+that everything or almost everything that happens me transcends the
+ordinary limits of what happens to other knights-errant; whether it be
+that it is directed by the inscrutable will of destiny, or by the
+malice of some jealous enchanter. Now it is an established fact that
+all or most famous knights-errant have some special gift, one that
+of being proof against enchantment, another that of being made of such
+invulnerable flesh that he cannot be wounded, as was the famous
+Roland, one of the twelve peers of France, of whom it is related
+that he could not be wounded except in the sole of his left foot,
+and that it must be with the point of a stout pin and not with any
+other sort of weapon whatever; and so, when Bernardo del Carpio slew
+him at Roncesvalles, finding that he could not wound him with steel,
+he lifted him up from the ground in his arms and strangled him,
+calling to mind seasonably the death which Hercules inflicted on
+Antaeus, the fierce giant that they say was the son of Terra. I
+would infer from what I have mentioned that perhaps I may have some
+gift of this kind, not that of being invulnerable, because
+experience has many times proved to me that I am of tender flesh and
+not at all impenetrable; nor that of being proof against
+enchantment, for I have already seen myself thrust into a cage, in
+which all the world would not have been able to confine me except by
+force of enchantments. But as I delivered myself from that one, I am
+inclined to believe that there is no other that can hurt me; and so,
+these enchanters, seeing that they cannot exert their vile craft
+against my person, revenge themselves on what I love most, and seek to
+rob me of life by maltreating that of Dulcinea in whom I live; and
+therefore I am convinced that when my squire carried my message to
+her, they changed her into a common peasant girl, engaged in such a
+mean occupation as sifting wheat; I have already said, however, that
+that wheat was not red wheat, nor wheat at all, but grains of orient
+pearl. And as a proof of all this, I must tell your highnesses that,
+coming to El Toboso a short time back, I was altogether unable to
+discover the palace of Dulcinea; and that the next day, though Sancho,
+my squire, saw her in her own proper shape, which is the fairest in
+the world, to me she appeared to be a coarse, ill-favoured farm-wench,
+and by no means a well-spoken one, she who is propriety itself. And
+so, as I am not and, so far as one can judge, cannot be enchanted, she
+it is that is enchanted, that is smitten, that is altered, changed,
+and transformed; in her have my enemies revenged themselves upon me,
+and for her shall I live in ceaseless tears, until I see her in her
+pristine state. I have mentioned this lest anybody should mind what
+Sancho said about Dulcinea's winnowing or sifting; for, as they
+changed her to me, it is no wonder if they changed her to him.
+Dulcinea is illustrious and well-born, and of one of the gentle
+families of El Toboso, which are many, ancient, and good. Therein,
+most assuredly, not small is the share of the peerless Dulcinea,
+through whom her town will be famous and celebrated in ages to come,
+as Troy was through Helen, and Spain through La Cava, though with a
+better title and tradition. For another thing; I would have your
+graces understand that Sancho Panza is one of the drollest squires
+that ever served knight-errant; sometimes there is a simplicity
+about him so acute that it is an amusement to try and make out whether
+he is simple or sharp; he has mischievous tricks that stamp him rogue,
+and blundering ways that prove him a booby; he doubts everything and
+believes everything; when I fancy he is on the point of coming down
+headlong from sheer stupidity, he comes out with something shrewd that
+sends him up to the skies. After all, I would not exchange him for
+another squire, though I were given a city to boot, and therefore I am
+in doubt whether it will be well to send him to the government your
+highness has bestowed upon him; though I perceive in him a certain
+aptitude for the work of governing, so that, with a little trimming of
+his understanding, he would manage any government as easily as the
+king does his taxes; and moreover, we know already ample experience
+that it does not require much cleverness or much learning to be a
+governor, for there are a hundred round about us that scarcely know
+how to read, and govern like gerfalcons. The main point is that they
+should have good intentions and be desirous of doing right in all
+things, for they will never be at a loss for persons to advise and
+direct them in what they have to do, like those knight-governors
+who, being no lawyers, pronounce sentences with the aid of an
+assessor. My advice to him will be to take no bribe and surrender no
+right, and I have some other little matters in reserve, that shall
+be produced in due season for Sancho's benefit and the advantage of
+the island he is to govern."</p>
+
+<p>The duke, duchess, and Don Quixote had reached this point in their
+conversation, when they heard voices and a great hubbub in the palace,
+and Sancho burst abruptly into the room all glowing with anger, with a
+straining-cloth by way of a bib, and followed by several servants, or,
+more properly speaking, kitchen-boys and other underlings, one of whom
+carried a small trough full of water, that from its colour and
+impurity was plainly dishwater. The one with the trough pursued him
+and followed him everywhere he went, endeavouring with the utmost
+persistence to thrust it under his chin, while another kitchen-boy
+seemed anxious to wash his beard.</p>
+
+<p>"What is all this, brothers?" asked the duchess. "What is it? What
+do you want to do to this good man? Do you forget he is a
+governor-elect?"</p>
+
+<p>To which the barber kitchen-boy replied, "The gentleman will not let
+himself be washed as is customary, and as my lord and the senor
+his master have been."</p>
+
+<p>"Yes, I will," said Sancho, in a great rage; "but I'd like it to
+be with cleaner towels, clearer lye, and not such dirty hands; for
+there's not so much difference between me and my master that he should
+be washed with angels' water and I with devil's lye. The customs of
+countries and princes' palaces are only good so long as they give no
+annoyance; but the way of washing they have here is worse than doing
+penance. I have a clean beard, and I don't require to be refreshed
+in that fashion, and whoever comes to wash me or touch a hair of my
+head, I mean to say my beard, with all due respect be it said, I'll
+give him a punch that will leave my fist sunk in his skull; for
+cirimonies and soapings of this sort are more like jokes than the
+polite attentions of one's host."</p>
+
+<p>The duchess was ready to die with laughter when she saw Sancho's
+rage and heard his words; but it was no pleasure to Don Quixote to see
+him in such a sorry trim, with the dingy towel about him, and the
+hangers-on of the kitchen all round him; so making a low bow to the
+duke and duchess, as if to ask their permission to speak, he addressed
+the rout in a dignified tone: "Holloa, gentlemen! you let that youth
+alone, and go back to where you came from, or anywhere else if you
+like; my squire is as clean as any other person, and those troughs are
+as bad as narrow thin-necked jars to him; take my advice and leave him
+alone, for neither he nor I understand joking."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho took the word out of his mouth and went on, "Nay, let them
+come and try their jokes on the country bumpkin, for it's about as
+likely I'll stand them as that it's now midnight! Let them bring me
+a comb here, or what they please, and curry this beard of mine, and if
+they get anything out of it that offends against cleanliness, let them
+clip me to the skin."</p>
+
+<p>Upon this, the duchess, laughing all the while, said, "Sancho
+Panza is right, and always will be in all he says; he is clean, and,
+as he says himself, he does not require to be washed; and if our
+ways do not please him, he is free to choose. Besides, you promoters
+of cleanliness have been excessively careless and thoughtless, I don't
+know if I ought not to say audacious, to bring troughs and wooden
+utensils and kitchen dishclouts, instead of basins and jugs of pure
+gold and towels of holland, to such a person and such a beard; but,
+after all, you are ill-conditioned and ill-bred, and spiteful as you
+are, you cannot help showing the grudge you have against the squires
+of knights-errant."</p>
+
+<p>The impudent servitors, and even the seneschal who came with them,
+took the duchess to be speaking in earnest, so they removed the
+straining-cloth from Sancho's neck, and with something like shame
+and confusion of face went off all of them and left him; whereupon he,
+seeing himself safe out of that extreme danger, as it seemed to him,
+ran and fell on his knees before the duchess, saying, "From great
+ladies great favours may be looked for; this which your grace has done
+me today cannot be requited with less than wishing I was dubbed a
+knight-errant, to devote myself all the days of my life to the service
+of so exalted a lady. I am a labouring man, my name is Sancho Panza, I
+am married, I have children, and I am serving as a squire; if in any
+one of these ways I can serve your highness, I will not be longer in
+obeying than your grace in commanding."</p>
+
+<p>"It is easy to see, Sancho," replied the duchess, "that you have
+learned to be polite in the school of politeness itself; I mean to say
+it is easy to see that you have been nursed in the bosom of Senor
+Don Quixote, who is, of course, the cream of good breeding and
+flower of ceremony&mdash;or cirimony, as you would say yourself. Fair be
+the fortunes of such a master and such a servant, the one the cynosure
+of knight-errantry, the other the star of squirely fidelity! Rise,
+Sancho, my friend; I will repay your courtesy by taking care that my
+lord the duke makes good to you the promised gift of the government as
+soon as possible."</p>
+
+<p>With this, the conversation came to an end, and Don Quixote
+retired to take his midday sleep; but the duchess begged Sancho,
+unless he had a very great desire to go to sleep, to come and spend
+the afternoon with her and her damsels in a very cool chamber.
+Sancho replied that, though he certainly had the habit of sleeping
+four or five hours in the heat of the day in summer, to serve her
+excellence he would try with all his might not to sleep even one
+that day, and that he would come in obedience to her command, and with
+that he went off. The duke gave fresh orders with respect to
+treating Don Quixote as a knight-errant, without departing even in
+smallest particular from the style in which, as the stories tell us,
+they used to treat the knights of old.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p32e"></a><img alt="p32e.jpg (16K)" src="images/p32e.jpg" height="381" width="333">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch33b"></a>CHAPTER XXXIII.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>OF THE DELECTABLE DISCOURSE WHICH THE DUCHESS AND HER DAMSELS HELD
+WITH SANCHO PANZA, WELL WORTH READING AND NOTING
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p33a"></a><img alt="p33a.jpg (138K)" src="images/p33a.jpg" height="428" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p33a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The history records that Sancho did not sleep that afternoon, but in
+order to keep his word came, before he had well done dinner, to
+visit the duchess, who, finding enjoyment in listening to him, made
+him sit down beside her on a low seat, though Sancho, out of pure good
+breeding, wanted not to sit down; the duchess, however, told him he
+was to sit down as governor and talk as squire, as in both respects he
+was worthy of even the chair of the Cid Ruy Diaz the Campeador. Sancho
+shrugged his shoulders, obeyed, and sat down, and all the duchess's
+damsels and duennas gathered round him, waiting in profound silence to
+hear what he would say. It was the duchess, however, who spoke
+first, saying:</p>
+
+<p>"Now that we are alone, and that there is nobody here to overhear
+us, I should be glad if the senor governor would relieve me of certain
+doubts I have, rising out of the history of the great Don Quixote that
+is now in print. One is: inasmuch as worthy Sancho never saw Dulcinea,
+I mean the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, nor took Don Quixote's letter
+to her, for it was left in the memorandum book in the Sierra Morena,
+how did he dare to invent the answer and all that about finding her
+sifting wheat, the whole story being a deception and falsehood, and so
+much to the prejudice of the peerless Dulcinea's good name, a thing
+that is not at all becoming the character and fidelity of a good
+squire?"</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p33b"></a><img alt="p33b.jpg (326K)" src="images/p33b.jpg" height="828" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p33b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At these words, Sancho, without uttering one in reply, got up from
+his chair, and with noiseless steps, with his body bent and his finger
+on his lips, went all round the room lifting up the hangings; and this
+done, he came back to his seat and said, "Now, senora, that I have
+seen that there is no one except the bystanders listening to us on the
+sly, I will answer what you have asked me, and all you may ask me,
+without fear or dread. And the first thing I have got to say is,
+that for my own part I hold my master Don Quixote to be stark mad,
+though sometimes he says things that, to my mind, and indeed
+everybody's that listens to him, are so wise, and run in such a
+straight furrow, that Satan himself could not have said them better;
+but for all that, really, and beyond all question, it's my firm belief
+he is cracked. Well, then, as this is clear to my mind, I can
+venture to make him believe things that have neither head nor tail,
+like that affair of the answer to the letter, and that other of six or
+eight days ago, which is not yet in history, that is to say, the
+affair of the enchantment of my lady Dulcinea; for I made him
+believe she is enchanted, though there's no more truth in it than over
+the hills of Ubeda."</p>
+
+<p>The duchess begged him to tell her about the enchantment or
+deception, so Sancho told the whole story exactly as it had
+happened, and his hearers were not a little amused by it; and then
+resuming, the duchess said, "In consequence of what worthy Sancho
+has told me, a doubt starts up in my mind, and there comes a kind of
+whisper to my ear that says, 'If Don Quixote be mad, crazy, and
+cracked, and Sancho Panza his squire knows it, and, notwithstanding,
+serves and follows him, and goes trusting to his empty promises, there
+can be no doubt he must be still madder and sillier than his master;
+and that being so, it will be cast in your teeth, senora duchess, if
+you give the said Sancho an island to govern; for how will he who does
+not know how to govern himself know how to govern others?'"</p>
+
+<p>"By God, senora," said Sancho, "but that doubt comes timely; but
+your grace may say it out, and speak plainly, or as you like; for I
+know what you say is true, and if I were wise I should have left my
+master long ago; but this was my fate, this was my bad luck; I can't
+help it, I must follow him; we're from the same village, I've eaten
+his bread, I'm fond of him, I'm grateful, he gave me his ass-colts,
+and above all I'm faithful; so it's quite impossible for anything to
+separate us, except the pickaxe and shovel. And if your highness
+does not like to give me the government you promised, God made me
+without it, and maybe your not giving it to me will be all the
+better for my conscience, for fool as I am I know the proverb 'to
+her hurt the ant got wings,' and it may be that Sancho the squire will
+get to heaven sooner than Sancho the governor. 'They make as good
+bread here as in France,' and 'by night all cats are grey,' and 'a
+hard case enough his, who hasn't broken his fast at two in the
+afternoon,' and 'there's no stomach a hand's breadth bigger than
+another,' and the same can be filled 'with straw or hay,' as the
+saying is, and 'the little birds of the field have God for their
+purveyor and caterer,' and 'four yards of Cuenca frieze keep one
+warmer than four of Segovia broad-cloth,' and 'when we quit this world
+and are put underground the prince travels by as narrow a path as
+the journeyman,' and 'the Pope's body does not take up more feet of
+earth than the sacristan's,' for all that the one is higher than the
+other; for when we go to our graves we all pack ourselves up and
+make ourselves small, or rather they pack us up and make us small in
+spite of us, and then&mdash;good night to us. And I say once more, if
+your ladyship does not like to give me the island because I'm a
+fool, like a wise man I will take care to give myself no trouble about
+it; I have heard say that 'behind the cross there's the devil,' and
+that 'all that glitters is not gold,' and that from among the oxen,
+and the ploughs, and the yokes, Wamba the husbandman was taken to be
+made King of Spain, and from among brocades, and pleasures, and
+riches, Roderick was taken to be devoured by adders, if the verses
+of the old ballads don't lie."</p>
+
+<p>"To be sure they don't lie!" exclaimed Dona Rodriguez, the duenna,
+who was one of the listeners. "Why, there's a ballad that says they
+put King Rodrigo alive into a tomb full of toads, and adders, and
+lizards, and that two days afterwards the king, in a plaintive, feeble
+voice, cried out from within the tomb-</p>
+
+<pre>
+They gnaw me now, they gnaw me now,
+There where I most did sin.
+
+</pre>
+
+<p>And according to that the gentleman has good reason to say he would
+rather be a labouring man than a king, if vermin are to eat him."</p>
+
+<p>The duchess could not help laughing at the simplicity of her duenna,
+or wondering at the language and proverbs of Sancho, to whom she said,
+"Worthy Sancho knows very well that when once a knight has made a
+promise he strives to keep it, though it should cost him his life.
+My lord and husband the duke, though not one of the errant sort, is
+none the less a knight for that reason, and will keep his word about
+the promised island, in spite of the envy and malice of the world. Let
+Sancho he of good cheer; for when he least expects it he will find
+himself seated on the throne of his island and seat of dignity, and
+will take possession of his government that he may discard it for
+another of three-bordered brocade. The charge I give him is to be
+careful how he governs his vassals, bearing in mind that they are
+all loyal and well-born."</p>
+
+<p>"As to governing them well," said Sancho, "there's no need of
+charging me to do that, for I'm kind-hearted by nature, and full of
+compassion for the poor; there's no stealing the loaf from him who
+kneads and bakes;' and by my faith it won't do to throw false dice
+with me; I am an old dog, and I know all about 'tus, tus;' I can be
+wide-awake if need be, and I don't let clouds come before my eyes, for
+I know where the shoe pinches me; I say so, because with me the good
+will have support and protection, and the bad neither footing nor
+access. And it seems to me that, in governments, to make a beginning
+is everything; and maybe, after having been governor a fortnight, I'll
+take kindly to the work and know more about it than the field labour I
+have been brought up to."</p>
+
+<p>"You are right, Sancho," said the duchess, "for no one is born ready
+taught, and the bishops are made out of men and not out of stones. But
+to return to the subject we were discussing just now, the
+enchantment of the lady Dulcinea, I look upon it as certain, and
+something more than evident, that Sancho's idea of practising a
+deception upon his master, making him believe that the peasant girl
+was Dulcinea and that if he did not recognise her it must be because
+she was enchanted, was all a device of one of the enchanters that
+persecute Don Quixote. For in truth and earnest, I know from good
+authority that the coarse country wench who jumped up on the ass was
+and is Dulcinea del Toboso, and that worthy Sancho, though he
+fancies himself the deceiver, is the one that is deceived; and that
+there is no more reason to doubt the truth of this, than of anything
+else we never saw. Senor Sancho Panza must know that we too have
+enchanters here that are well disposed to us, and tell us what goes on
+in the world, plainly and distinctly, without subterfuge or deception;
+and believe me, Sancho, that agile country lass was and is Dulcinea
+del Toboso, who is as much enchanted as the mother that bore her;
+and when we least expect it, we shall see her in her own proper
+form, and then Sancho will be disabused of the error he is under at
+present."</p>
+
+<p>"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'm
+willing to believe what my master says about what he saw in the cave
+of Montesinos, where he says he saw the lady Dulcinea del Toboso in
+the very same dress and apparel that I said I had seen her in when I
+enchanted her all to please myself. It must be all exactly the other
+way, as your ladyship says; because it is impossible to suppose that
+out of my poor wit such a cunning trick could be concocted in a
+moment, nor do I think my master is so mad that by my weak and
+feeble persuasion he could be made to believe a thing so out of all
+reason. But, senora, your excellence must not therefore think me
+ill-disposed, for a dolt like me is not bound to see into the thoughts
+and plots of those vile enchanters. I invented all that to escape my
+master's scolding, and not with any intention of hurting him; and if
+it has turned out differently, there is a God in heaven who judges our
+hearts."</p>
+
+<p>"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what is this
+you say about the cave of Montesinos, for I should like to know."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho upon this related to her, word for word, what has been said
+already touching that adventure, and having heard it the duchess said,
+"From this occurrence it may be inferred that, as the great Don
+Quixote says he saw there the same country wench Sancho saw on the way
+from El Toboso, it is, no doubt, Dulcinea, and that there are some
+very active and exceedingly busy enchanters about."</p>
+
+<p>"So I say," said Sancho, "and if my lady Dulcinea is enchanted, so
+much the worse for her, and I'm not going to pick a quarrel with my
+master's enemies, who seem to be many and spiteful. The truth is
+that the one I saw was a country wench, and I set her down to be a
+country wench; and if that was Dulcinea it must not be laid at my
+door, nor should I be called to answer for it or take the
+consequences. But they must go nagging at me at every step&mdash;'Sancho
+said it, Sancho did it, Sancho here, Sancho there,' as if Sancho was
+nobody at all, and not that same Sancho Panza that's now going all
+over the world in books, so Samson Carrasco told me, and he's at any
+rate one that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of that sort can't
+lie, except when the whim seizes them or they have some very good
+reason for it. So there's no occasion for anybody to quarrel with
+me; and then I have a good character, and, as I have heard my master
+say, 'a good name is better than great riches;' let them only stick me
+into this government and they'll see wonders, for one who has been a
+good squire will be a good governor."</p>
+
+<p>"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "are
+Catonian sentences, or at any rate out of the very heart of Michael
+Verino himself, who florentibus occidit annis. In fact, to speak in
+his own style, 'under a bad cloak there's often a good drinker.'"</p>
+
+<p>"Indeed, senora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of wickedness;
+from thirst I have very likely, for I have nothing of the hypocrite in
+me; I drink when I'm inclined, or, if I'm not inclined, when they
+offer it to me, so as not to look either strait-laced or ill-bred; for
+when a friend drinks one's health what heart can be so hard as not
+to return it? But if I put on my shoes I don't dirty them; besides,
+squires to knights-errant mostly drink water, for they are always
+wandering among woods, forests and meadows, mountains and crags,
+without a drop of wine to be had if they gave their eyes for it."</p>
+
+<p>"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go and take
+his sleep, and we will talk by-and-by at greater length, and settle
+how he may soon go and stick himself into the government, as he says."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated her to let
+good care be taken of his Dapple, for he was the light of his eyes.</p>
+
+<p>"What is Dapple?" said the duchess.</p>
+
+<p>"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that name,
+I'm accustomed to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna here to
+take care of him when I came into the castle, and she got as angry
+as if I had said she was ugly or old, though it ought to be more
+natural and proper for duennas to feed asses than to ornament
+chambers. God bless me! what a spite a gentleman of my village had
+against these ladies!"</p>
+
+<p>"He must have been some clown," said Dona Rodriguez the duenna; "for
+if he had been a gentleman and well-born he would have exalted them
+higher than the horns of the moon."</p>
+
+<p>"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush, Dona
+Rodriguez, and let Senor Panza rest easy and leave the treatment of
+Dapple in my charge, for as he is a treasure of Sancho's, I'll put him
+on the apple of my eye."</p>
+
+<p>"It will be enough for him to be in the stable," said Sancho, "for
+neither he nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple of your
+highness's eye, and I'd as soon stab myself as consent to it; for
+though my master says that in civilities it is better to lose by a
+card too many than a card too few, when it comes to civilities to
+asses we must mind what we are about and keep within due bounds."</p>
+
+<p>"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess, "and
+there you will be able to make as much of him as you like, and even
+release him from work and pension him off."</p>
+
+<p>"Don't think, senora duchess, that you have said anything absurd,"
+said Sancho; "I have seen more than two asses go to governments, and
+for me to take mine with me would be nothing new."</p>
+
+<p>Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again and gave her fresh
+amusement, and dismissing him to sleep she went away to tell the
+duke the conversation she had had with him, and between them they
+plotted and arranged to play a joke upon Don Quixote that was to be
+a rare one and entirely in knight-errantry style, and in that same
+style they practised several upon him, so much in keeping and so
+clever that they form the best adventures this great history contains.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p33e"></a><img alt="p33e.jpg (34K)" src="images/p33e.jpg" height="391" width="579">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch34b"></a>CHAPTER XXXIV.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY WERE TO
+DISENCHANT THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO, WHICH IS ONE OF THE
+RAREST ADVENTURES IN THIS BOOK
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p34a"></a><img alt="p34a.jpg (141K)" src="images/p34a.jpg" height="404" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p34a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Great was the pleasure the duke and duchess took in the conversation
+of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; and, more bent than ever upon the
+plan they had of practising some jokes upon them that should have
+the look and appearance of adventures, they took as their basis of
+action what Don Quixote had already told them about the cave of
+Montesinos, in order to play him a famous one. But what the duchess
+marvelled at above all was that Sancho's simplicity could be so
+great as to make him believe as absolute truth that Dulcinea had
+been enchanted, when it was he himself who had been the enchanter
+and trickster in the business. Having, therefore, instructed their
+servants in everything they were to do, six days afterwards they
+took him out to hunt, with as great a retinue of huntsmen and
+beaters as a crowned king.</p>
+
+<p>They presented Don Quixote with a hunting suit, and Sancho with
+another of the finest green cloth; but Don Quixote declined to put his
+on, saying that he must soon return to the hard pursuit of arms, and
+could not carry wardrobes or stores with him. Sancho, however, took
+what they gave him, meaning to sell it the first opportunity.</p>
+
+<p>The appointed day having arrived, Don Quixote armed himself, and
+Sancho arrayed himself, and mounted on his Dapple (for he would not
+give him up though they offered him a horse), he placed himself in the
+midst of the troop of huntsmen. The duchess came out splendidly
+attired, and Don Quixote, in pure courtesy and politeness, held the
+rein of her palfrey, though the duke wanted not to allow him; and at
+last they reached a wood that lay between two high mountains, where,
+after occupying various posts, ambushes, and paths, and distributing
+the party in different positions, the hunt began with great noise,
+shouting, and hallooing, so that, between the baying of the hounds and
+the blowing of the horns, they could not hear one another. The duchess
+dismounted, and with a sharp boar-spear in her hand posted herself
+where she knew the wild boars were in the habit of passing. The duke
+and Don Quixote likewise dismounted and placed themselves one at
+each side of her. Sancho took up a position in the rear of all without
+dismounting from Dapple, whom he dared not desert lest some mischief
+should befall him. Scarcely had they taken their stand in a line
+with several of their servants, when they saw a huge boar, closely
+pressed by the hounds and followed by the huntsmen, making towards
+them, grinding his teeth and tusks, and scattering foam from his
+mouth. As soon as he saw him Don Quixote, bracing his shield on his
+arm, and drawing his sword, advanced to meet him; the duke with
+boar-spear did the same; but the duchess would have gone in front of
+them all had not the duke prevented her. Sancho alone, deserting
+Dapple at the sight of the mighty beast, took to his heels as hard
+as he could and strove in vain to mount a tall oak. As he was clinging
+to a branch, however, half-way up in his struggle to reach the top,
+the bough, such was his ill-luck and hard fate, gave way, and caught
+in his fall by a broken limb of the oak, he hung suspended in the
+air unable to reach the ground. Finding himself in this position,
+and that the green coat was beginning to tear, and reflecting that
+if the fierce animal came that way he might be able to get at him,
+he began to utter such cries, and call for help so earnestly, that all
+who heard him and did not see him felt sure he must be in the teeth of
+some wild beast. In the end the tusked boar fell pierced by the blades
+of the many spears they held in front of him; and Don Quixote, turning
+round at the cries of Sancho, for he knew by them that it was he,
+saw him hanging from the oak head downwards, with Dapple, who did
+not forsake him in his distress, close beside him; and Cide Hamete
+observes that he seldom saw Sancho Panza without seeing Dapple, or
+Dapple without seeing Sancho Panza; such was their attachment and
+loyalty one to the other. Don Quixote went over and unhooked Sancho,
+who, as soon as he found himself on the ground, looked at the rent
+in his huntingcoat and was grieved to the heart, for he thought he had
+got a patrimonial estate in that suit.</p>
+
+<p>Meanwhile they had slung the mighty boar across the back of a
+mule, and having covered it with sprigs of rosemary and branches of
+myrtle, they bore it away as the spoils of victory to some large
+field-tents which had been pitched in the middle of the wood, where
+they found the tables laid and dinner served, in such grand and
+sumptuous style that it was easy to see the rank and magnificence of
+those who had provided it. Sancho, as he showed the rents in his
+torn suit to the duchess, observed, "If we had been hunting hares,
+or after small birds, my coat would have been safe from being in the
+plight it's in; I don't know what pleasure one can find in lying in
+wait for an animal that may take your life with his tusk if he gets at
+you. I recollect having heard an old ballad sung that says,</p>
+
+
+<pre>
+ By bears be thou devoured, as erst
+ Was famous Favila."
+
+ </pre>
+
+<p>
+"That," said Don Quixote, "was a Gothic king, who, going
+a-hunting, was devoured by a bear."</p>
+
+<p>"Just so," said Sancho; "and I would not have kings and princes
+expose themselves to such dangers for the sake of a pleasure which, to
+my mind, ought not to be one, as it consists in killing an animal that
+has done no harm whatever."</p>
+
+<p>"Quite the contrary, Sancho; you are wrong there," said the duke;
+"for hunting is more suitable and requisite for kings and princes than
+for anybody else. The chase is the emblem of war; it has stratagems,
+wiles, and crafty devices for overcoming the enemy in safety; in it
+extreme cold and intolerable heat have to be borne, indolence and
+sleep are despised, the bodily powers are invigorated, the limbs of
+him who engages in it are made supple, and, in a word, it is a pursuit
+which may be followed without injury to anyone and with enjoyment to
+many; and the best of it is, it is not for everybody, as
+field-sports of other sorts are, except hawking, which also is only
+for kings and great lords. Reconsider your opinion therefore,
+Sancho, and when you are governor take to hunting, and you will find
+the good of it."</p>
+
+<p>"Nay," said Sancho, "the good governor should have a broken leg
+and keep at home;" it would be a nice thing if, after people had
+been at the trouble of coming to look for him on business, the
+governor were to be away in the forest enjoying himself; the
+government would go on badly in that fashion. By my faith, senor,
+hunting and amusements are more fit for idlers than for governors;
+what I intend to amuse myself with is playing all fours at Eastertime,
+and bowls on Sundays and holidays; for these huntings don't suit my
+condition or agree with my conscience."</p>
+
+<p>"God grant it may turn out so," said the duke; "because it's a
+long step from saying to doing."</p>
+
+<p>"Be that as it may," said Sancho, "'pledges don't distress a good
+payer,' and 'he whom God helps does better than he who gets up early,'
+and 'it's the tripes that carry the feet and not the feet the tripes;'
+I mean to say that if God gives me help and I do my duty honestly,
+no doubt I'll govern better than a gerfalcon. Nay, let them only put a
+finger in my mouth, and they'll see whether I can bite or not."</p>
+
+<p>"The curse of God and all his saints upon thee, thou accursed
+Sancho!" exclaimed Don Quixote; "when will the day come&mdash;as I have
+often said to thee&mdash;when I shall hear thee make one single coherent,
+rational remark without proverbs? Pray, your highnesses, leave this
+fool alone, for he will grind your souls between, not to say two,
+but two thousand proverbs, dragged in as much in season, and as much
+to the purpose as&mdash;may God grant as much health to him, or to me if
+I want to listen to them!"</p>
+
+<p>"Sancho Panza's proverbs," said the duchess, "though more in
+number than the Greek Commander's, are not therefore less to be
+esteemed for the conciseness of the maxims. For my own part, I can say
+they give me more pleasure than others that may be better brought in
+and more seasonably introduced."</p>
+
+<p>In pleasant conversation of this sort they passed out of the tent
+into the wood, and the day was spent in visiting some of the posts and
+hiding-places, and then night closed in, not, however, as
+brilliantly or tranquilly as might have been expected at the season,
+for it was then midsummer; but bringing with it a kind of haze that
+greatly aided the project of the duke and duchess; and thus, as
+night began to fall, and a little after twilight set in, suddenly
+the whole wood on all four sides seemed to be on fire, and shortly
+after, here, there, on all sides, a vast number of trumpets and
+other military instruments were heard, as if several troops of cavalry
+were passing through the wood. The blaze of the fire and the noise
+of the warlike instruments almost blinded the eyes and deafened the
+ears of those that stood by, and indeed of all who were in the wood.
+Then there were heard repeated lelilies after the fashion of the Moors
+when they rush to battle; trumpets and clarions brayed, drums beat,
+fifes played, so unceasingly and so fast that he could not have had
+any senses who did not lose them with the confused din of so many
+instruments. The duke was astounded, the duchess amazed, Don Quixote
+wondering, Sancho Panza trembling, and indeed, even they who were
+aware of the cause were frightened. In their fear, silence fell upon
+them, and a postillion, in the guise of a demon, passed in front of
+them, blowing, in lieu of a bugle, a huge hollow horn that gave out
+a horrible hoarse note.</p>
+
+<p>"Ho there! brother courier," cried the duke, "who are you? Where are
+you going? What troops are these that seem to be passing through the
+wood?"</p>
+
+<p>To which the courier replied in a harsh, discordant voice, "I am the
+devil; I am in search of Don Quixote of La Mancha; those who are
+coming this way are six troops of enchanters, who are bringing on a
+triumphal car the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso; she comes under
+enchantment, together with the gallant Frenchman Montesinos, to give
+instructions to Don Quixote as to how, she the said lady, may be
+disenchanted."</p>
+
+<p>"If you were the devil, as you say and as your appearance
+indicates," said the duke, "you would have known the said knight Don
+Quixote of La Mancha, for you have him here before you."</p>
+
+<p>"By God and upon my conscience," said the devil, "I never observed
+it, for my mind is occupied with so many different things that I was
+forgetting the main thing I came about."</p>
+
+<p>"This demon must be an honest fellow and a good Christian," said
+Sancho; "for if he wasn't he wouldn't swear by God and his conscience;
+I feel sure now there must be good souls even in hell itself."</p>
+
+<p>Without dismounting, the demon then turned to Don Quixote and
+said, "The unfortunate but valiant knight Montesinos sends me to thee,
+the Knight of the Lions (would that I saw thee in their claws),
+bidding me tell thee to wait for him wherever I may find thee, as he
+brings with him her whom they call Dulcinea del Toboso, that he may
+show thee what is needful in order to disenchant her; and as I came
+for no more I need stay no longer; demons of my sort be with thee, and
+good angels with these gentles;" and so saying he blew his huge
+horn, turned about and went off without waiting for a reply from
+anyone.</p>
+
+<p>They all felt fresh wonder, but particularly Sancho and Don Quixote;
+Sancho to see how, in defiance of the truth, they would have it that
+Dulcinea was enchanted; Don Quixote because he could not feel sure
+whether what had happened to him in the cave of Montesinos was true or
+not; and as he was deep in these cogitations the duke said to him, "Do
+you mean to wait, Senor Don Quixote?"</p>
+
+<p>"Why not?" replied he; "here will I wait, fearless and firm,
+though all hell should come to attack me."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, if I see another devil or hear another horn like the
+last, I'll wait here as much as in Flanders," said Sancho.</p>
+
+<p>Night now closed in more completely, and many lights began to flit
+through the wood, just as those fiery exhalations from the earth, that
+look like shooting-stars to our eyes, flit through the heavens; a
+frightful noise, too, was heard, like that made by the solid wheels
+the ox-carts usually have, by the harsh, ceaseless creaking of
+which, they say, the bears and wolves are put to flight, if there
+happen to be any where they are passing. In addition to all this
+commotion, there came a further disturbance to increase the tumult,
+for now it seemed as if in truth, on all four sides of the wood,
+four encounters or battles were going on at the same time; in one
+quarter resounded the dull noise of a terrible cannonade, in another
+numberless muskets were being discharged, the shouts of the combatants
+sounded almost close at hand, and farther away the Moorish lelilies
+were raised again and again. In a word, the bugles, the horns, the
+clarions, the trumpets, the drums, the cannon, the musketry, and above
+all the tremendous noise of the carts, all made up together a din so
+confused and terrific that Don Quixote had need to summon up all his
+courage to brave it; but Sancho's gave way, and he fell fainting on
+the skirt of the duchess's robe, who let him lie there and promptly
+bade them throw water in his face. This was done, and he came to
+himself by the time that one of the carts with the creaking wheels
+reached the spot. It was drawn by four plodding oxen all covered
+with black housings; on each horn they had fixed a large lighted wax
+taper, and on the top of the cart was constructed a raised seat, on
+which sat a venerable old man with a beard whiter than the very
+snow, and so long that it fell below his waist; he was dressed in a
+long robe of black buckram; for as the cart was thickly set with a
+multitude of candles it was easy to make out everything that was on
+it. Leading it were two hideous demons, also clad in buckram, with
+countenances so frightful that Sancho, having once seen them, shut his
+eyes so as not to see them again. As soon as the cart came opposite
+the spot the old man rose from his lofty seat, and standing up said in
+a loud voice, "I am the sage Lirgandeo," and without another word
+the cart then passed on. Behind it came another of the same form, with
+another aged man enthroned, who, stopping the cart, said in a voice no
+less solemn than that of the first, "I am the sage Alquife, the
+great friend of Urganda the Unknown," and passed on. Then another cart
+came by at the same pace, but the occupant of the throne was not old
+like the others, but a man stalwart and robust, and of a forbidding
+countenance, who as he came up said in a voice far hoarser and more
+devilish, "I am the enchanter Archelaus, the mortal enemy of Amadis of
+Gaul and all his kindred," and then passed on. Having gone a short
+distance the three carts halted and the monotonous noise of their
+wheels ceased, and soon after they heard another, not noise, but sound
+of sweet, harmonious music, of which Sancho was very glad, taking it
+to be a good sign; and said he to the duchess, from whom he did not
+stir a step, or for a single instant, "Senora, where there's music
+there can't be mischief."</p>
+
+<p>"Nor where there are lights and it is bright," said the duchess;
+to which Sancho replied, "Fire gives light, and it's bright where
+there are bonfires, as we see by those that are all round us and
+perhaps may burn us; but music is a sign of mirth and merrymaking."</p>
+
+<p>"That remains to be seen," said Don Quixote, who was listening to
+all that passed; and he was right, as is shown in the following
+chapter.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p34e"></a><img alt="p34e.jpg (47K)" src="images/p34e.jpg" height="553" width="503">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br>
+<center><h2><a name="ch35b"></a>CHAPTER XXXV.</h2></center>
+<br>
+<center><h3>WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO DON QUIXOTE TOUCHING
+THE DISENCHANTMENT OF DULCINEA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MARVELLOUS INCIDENTS
+</h3></center>
+<br>
+<br>
+
+<center><a name="p35a"></a><img alt="p35a.jpg (108K)" src="images/p35a.jpg" height="324" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p35a.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>They saw advancing towards them, to the sound of this pleasing
+music, what they call a triumphal car, drawn by six grey mules with
+white linen housings, on each of which was mounted a penitent, robed
+also in white, with a large lighted wax taper in his hand. The car was
+twice or, perhaps, three times as large as the former ones, and in
+front and on the sides stood twelve more penitents, all as white as
+snow and all with lighted tapers, a spectacle to excite fear as well
+as wonder; and on a raised throne was seated a nymph draped in a
+multitude of silver-tissue veils with an embroidery of countless
+gold spangles glittering all over them, that made her appear, if not
+richly, at least brilliantly, apparelled. She had her face covered
+with thin transparent sendal, the texture of which did not prevent the
+fair features of a maiden from being distinguished, while the numerous
+lights made it possible to judge of her beauty and of her years, which
+seemed to be not less than seventeen but not to have yet reached
+twenty. Beside her was a figure in a robe of state, as they call it,
+reaching to the feet, while the head was covered with a black veil.
+But the instant the car was opposite the duke and duchess and Don
+Quixote the music of the clarions ceased, and then that of the lutes
+and harps on the car, and the figure in the robe rose up, and flinging
+it apart and removing the veil from its face, disclosed to their
+eyes the shape of Death itself, fleshless and hideous, at which
+sight Don Quixote felt uneasy, Sancho frightened, and the duke and
+duchess displayed a certain trepidation. Having risen to its feet,
+this living death, in a sleepy voice and with a tongue hardly awake,
+held forth as follows:</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p35b"></a><img alt="p35b.jpg (232K)" src="images/p35b.jpg" height="812" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p35b.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<pre>
+I am that Merlin who the legends say
+The devil had for father, and the lie
+Hath gathered credence with the lapse of time.
+Of magic prince, of Zoroastric lore
+Monarch and treasurer, with jealous eye
+I view the efforts of the age to hide
+The gallant deeds of doughty errant knights,
+Who are, and ever have been, dear to me.
+ Enchanters and magicians and their kind
+
+Are mostly hard of heart; not so am I;
+For mine is tender, soft, compassionate,
+And its delight is doing good to all.
+In the dim caverns of the gloomy Dis,
+Where, tracing mystic lines and characters,
+My soul abideth now, there came to me
+The sorrow-laden plaint of her, the fair,
+The peerless Dulcinea del Toboso.
+I knew of her enchantment and her fate,
+From high-born dame to peasant wench transformed
+And touched with pity, first I turned the leaves
+Of countless volumes of my devilish craft,
+And then, in this grim grisly skeleton
+Myself encasing, hither have I come
+To show where lies the fitting remedy
+To give relief in such a piteous case.
+ O thou, the pride and pink of all that wear
+
+The adamantine steel! O shining light,
+O beacon, polestar, path and guide of all
+Who, scorning slumber and the lazy down,
+Adopt the toilsome life of bloodstained arms!
+To thee, great hero who all praise transcends,
+La Mancha's lustre and Iberia's star,
+Don Quixote, wise as brave, to thee I say&mdash;
+For peerless Dulcinea del Toboso
+Her pristine form and beauty to regain,
+'T is needful that thy esquire Sancho shall,
+On his own sturdy buttocks bared to heaven,
+Three thousand and three hundred lashes lay,
+And that they smart and sting and hurt him well.
+Thus have the authors of her woe resolved.
+And this is, gentles, wherefore I have come.
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<p>
+"By all that's good," exclaimed Sancho at this, "I'll just as soon
+give myself three stabs with a dagger as three, not to say three
+thousand, lashes. The devil take such a way of disenchanting! I
+don't see what my backside has got to do with enchantments. By God, if
+Senor Merlin has not found out some other way of disenchanting the
+lady Dulcinea del Toboso, she may go to her grave enchanted."</p>
+
+<p>"But I'll take you, Don Clown stuffed with garlic," said Don
+Quixote, "and tie you to a tree as naked as when your mother brought
+you forth, and give you, not to say three thousand three hundred,
+but six thousand six hundred lashes, and so well laid on that they
+won't be got rid of if you try three thousand three hundred times;
+don't answer me a word or I'll tear your soul out."</p>
+
+<p>On hearing this Merlin said, "That will not do, for the lashes
+worthy Sancho has to receive must be given of his own free will and
+not by force, and at whatever time he pleases, for there is no fixed
+limit assigned to him; but it is permitted him, if he likes to commute
+by half the pain of this whipping, to let them be given by the hand of
+another, though it may be somewhat weighty."</p>
+
+<p>"Not a hand, my own or anybody else's, weighty or weighable, shall
+touch me," said Sancho. "Was it I that gave birth to the lady Dulcinea
+del Toboso, that my backside is to pay for the sins of her eyes? My
+master, indeed, that's a part of her&mdash;for, he's always calling her
+'my life' and 'my soul,' and his stay and prop&mdash;may and ought to
+whip himself for her and take all the trouble required for her
+disenchantment. But for me to whip myself! Abernuncio!"</p>
+
+<p>As soon as Sancho had done speaking the nymph in silver that was
+at the side of Merlin's ghost stood up, and removing the thin veil
+from her face disclosed one that seemed to all something more than
+exceedingly beautiful; and with a masculine freedom from embarrassment
+and in a voice not very like a lady's, addressing Sancho directly,
+said, "Thou wretched squire, soul of a pitcher, heart of a cork
+tree, with bowels of flint and pebbles; if, thou impudent thief,
+they bade thee throw thyself down from some lofty tower; if, enemy
+of mankind, they asked thee to swallow a dozen of toads, two of
+lizards, and three of adders; if they wanted thee to slay thy wife and
+children with a sharp murderous scimitar, it would be no wonder for
+thee to show thyself stubborn and squeamish. But to make a piece of
+work about three thousand three hundred lashes, what every poor little
+charity-boy gets every month&mdash;it is enough to amaze, astonish, astound
+the compassionate bowels of all who hear it, nay, all who come to hear
+it in the course of time. Turn, O miserable, hard-hearted animal,
+turn, I say, those timorous owl's eyes upon these of mine that are
+compared to radiant stars, and thou wilt see them weeping trickling
+streams and rills, and tracing furrows, tracks, and paths over the
+fair fields of my cheeks. Let it move thee, crafty, ill-conditioned
+monster, to see my blooming youth&mdash;still in its teens, for I am not
+yet twenty&mdash;wasting and withering away beneath the husk of a rude
+peasant wench; and if I do not appear in that shape now, it is a
+special favour Senor Merlin here has granted me, to the sole end
+that my beauty may soften thee; for the tears of beauty in distress
+turn rocks into cotton and tigers into ewes. Lay on to that hide of
+thine, thou great untamed brute, rouse up thy lusty vigour that only
+urges thee to eat and eat, and set free the softness of my flesh,
+the gentleness of my nature, and the fairness of my face. And if
+thou wilt not relent or come to reason for me, do so for the sake of
+that poor knight thou hast beside thee; thy master I mean, whose
+soul I can this moment see, how he has it stuck in his throat not
+ten fingers from his lips, and only waiting for thy inflexible or
+yielding reply to make its escape by his mouth or go back again into
+his stomach."</p>
+
+<p>Don Quixote on hearing this felt his throat, and turning to the duke
+he said, "By God, senor, Dulcinea says true, I have my soul stuck here
+in my throat like the nut of a crossbow."</p>
+
+<p>"What say you to this, Sancho?" said the duchess.</p>
+
+<p>"I say, senora," returned Sancho, "what I said before; as for the
+lashes, abernuncio!"</p>
+
+<p>"Abrenuncio, you should say, Sancho, and not as you do," said the
+duke.</p>
+
+<p>"Let me alone, your highness," said Sancho. "I'm not in a humour now
+to look into niceties or a letter more or less, for these lashes
+that are to be given me, or I'm to give myself, have so upset me, that
+I don't know what I'm saying or doing. But I'd like to know of this
+lady, my lady Dulcinea del Toboso, where she learned this way she
+has of asking favours. She comes to ask me to score my flesh with
+lashes, and she calls me soul of a pitcher, and great untamed brute,
+and a string of foul names that the devil is welcome to. Is my flesh
+brass? or is it anything to me whether she is enchanted or not? Does
+she bring with her a basket of fair linen, shirts, kerchiefs,
+socks&mdash;not that wear any&mdash;to coax me? No, nothing but one piece of abuse
+after another, though she knows the proverb they have here that 'an
+ass loaded with gold goes lightly up a mountain,' and that 'gifts
+break rocks,' and 'praying to God and plying the hammer,' and that
+'one "take" is better than two "I'll give thee's."' Then there's my
+master, who ought to stroke me down and pet me to make me turn wool
+and carded cotton; he says if he gets hold of me he'll tie me naked to
+a tree and double the tale of lashes on me. These tender-hearted
+gentry should consider that it's not merely a squire, but a governor
+they are asking to whip himself; just as if it was 'drink with
+cherries.' Let them learn, plague take them, the right way to ask, and
+beg, and behave themselves; for all times are not alike, nor are
+people always in good humour. I'm now ready to burst with grief at
+seeing my green coat torn, and they come to ask me to whip myself of
+my own free will, I having as little fancy for it as for turning
+cacique."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, the fact is, friend Sancho," said the duke, "that unless
+you become softer than a ripe fig, you shall not get hold of the
+government. It would be a nice thing for me to send my islanders a
+cruel governor with flinty bowels, who won't yield to the tears of
+afflicted damsels or to the prayers of wise, magisterial, ancient
+enchanters and sages. In short, Sancho, either you must be whipped
+by yourself, or they must whip you, or you shan't be governor."</p>
+
+<p>"Senor," said Sancho, "won't two days' grace be given me in which to
+consider what is best for me?"</p>
+
+<p>"No, certainly not," said Merlin; "here, this minute, and on the
+spot, the matter must be settled; either Dulcinea will return to the
+cave of Montesinos and to her former condition of peasant wench, or
+else in her present form shall be carried to the Elysian fields, where
+she will remain waiting until the number of stripes is completed."</p>
+
+<p>"Now then, Sancho!" said the duchess, "show courage, and gratitude
+for your master Don Quixote's bread that you have eaten; we are all
+bound to oblige and please him for his benevolent disposition and
+lofty chivalry. Consent to this whipping, my son; to the devil with
+the devil, and leave fear to milksops, for 'a stout heart breaks bad
+luck,' as you very well know."</p>
+
+<p>To this Sancho replied with an irrelevant remark, which,
+addressing Merlin, he made to him, "Will your worship tell me, Senor
+Merlin&mdash;when that courier devil came up he gave my master a message
+from Senor Montesinos, charging him to wait for him here, as he was
+coming to arrange how the lady Dona Dulcinea del Toboso was to be
+disenchanted; but up to the present we have not seen Montesinos, nor
+anything like him."</p>
+
+<p>To which Merlin made answer, "The devil, Sancho, is a blockhead
+and a great scoundrel; I sent him to look for your master, but not
+with a message from Montesinos but from myself; for Montesinos is in
+his cave expecting, or more properly speaking, waiting for his
+disenchantment; for there's the tail to be skinned yet for him; if
+he owes you anything, or you have any business to transact with him,
+I'll bring him to you and put him where you choose; but for the
+present make up your mind to consent to this penance, and believe me
+it will be very good for you, for soul as well for body&mdash;for your soul
+because of the charity with which you perform it, for your body
+because I know that you are of a sanguine habit and it will do you
+no harm to draw a little blood."</p>
+
+<p>"There are a great many doctors in the world; even the enchanters
+are doctors," said Sancho; "however, as everybody tells me the same
+thing&mdash;though I can't see it myself&mdash;I say I am willing to give myself
+the three thousand three hundred lashes, provided I am to lay them
+on whenever I like, without any fixing of days or times; and I'll
+try and get out of debt as quickly as I can, that the world may
+enjoy the beauty of the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; as it seems,
+contrary to what I thought, that she is beautiful after all. It must
+be a condition, too, that I am not to be bound to draw blood with
+the scourge, and that if any of the lashes happen to be fly-flappers
+they are to count. Item, that, in case I should make any mistake in
+the reckoning, Senor Merlin, as he knows everything, is to keep count,
+and let me know how many are still wanting or over the number."</p>
+
+<p>"There will be no need to let you know of any over," said Merlin,
+"because, when you reach the full number, the lady Dulcinea will at
+once, and that very instant, be disenchanted, and will come in her
+gratitude to seek out the worthy Sancho, and thank him, and even
+reward him for the good work. So you have no cause to be uneasy
+about stripes too many or too few; heaven forbid I should cheat anyone
+of even a hair of his head."</p>
+
+<p>"Well then, in God's hands be it," said Sancho; "in the hard case
+I'm in I give in; I say I accept the penance on the conditions laid
+down."</p>
+
+<p>The instant Sancho uttered these last words the music of the
+clarions struck up once more, and again a host of muskets were
+discharged, and Don Quixote hung on Sancho's neck kissing him again
+and again on the forehead and cheeks. The duchess and the duke
+expressed the greatest satisfaction, the car began to move on, and
+as it passed the fair Dulcinea bowed to the duke and duchess and
+made a low curtsey to Sancho.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p35c"></a><img alt="p35c.jpg (284K)" src="images/p35c.jpg" height="842" width="650">
+</center>
+<a href="images/p35c.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Full Size" src="images/enlarge.jpg"></a>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>And now bright smiling dawn came on apace; the flowers of the field,
+revived, raised up their heads, and the crystal waters of the
+brooks, murmuring over the grey and white pebbles, hastened to pay
+their tribute to the expectant rivers; the glad earth, the unclouded
+sky, the fresh breeze, the clear light, each and all showed that the
+day that came treading on the skirts of morning would be calm and
+bright. The duke and duchess, pleased with their hunt and at having
+carried out their plans so cleverly and successfully, returned to
+their castle resolved to follow up their joke; for to them there was
+no reality that could afford them more amusement.</p>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p35e"></a><img alt="p35e.jpg (10K)" src="images/p35e.jpg" height="301" width="223">
+</center>
+
+
+
+
+<br>
+<br>
+<hr>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II.,
+Part 29, by Miguel de Cervantes
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@@ -0,0 +1,1686 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part
+29, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 29
+
+Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
+
+Release Date: July 24, 2004 [EBook #5932]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 29 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+ DON QUIXOTE
+
+ Volume II.
+
+ Part 29.
+
+ by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+
+ Translated by John Ormsby
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXII.
+
+OF THE REPLY DON QUIXOTE GAVE HIS CENSURER, WITH OTHER INCIDENTS, GRAVE
+AND DROLL
+
+
+Don Quixote, then, having risen to his feet, trembling from head to foot
+like a man dosed with mercury, said in a hurried, agitated voice, "The
+place I am in, the presence in which I stand, and the respect I have and
+always have had for the profession to which your worship belongs, hold
+and bind the hands of my just indignation; and as well for these reasons
+as because I know, as everyone knows, that a gownsman's weapon is the
+same as a woman's, the tongue, I will with mine engage in equal combat
+with your worship, from whom one might have expected good advice instead
+of foul abuse. Pious, well-meant reproof requires a different demeanour
+and arguments of another sort; at any rate, to have reproved me in
+public, and so roughly, exceeds the bounds of proper reproof, for that
+comes better with gentleness than with rudeness; and it is not seemly to
+call the sinner roundly blockhead and booby, without knowing anything of
+the sin that is reproved. Come, tell me, for which of the stupidities you
+have observed in me do you condemn and abuse me, and bid me go home and
+look after my house and wife and children, without knowing whether I have
+any? Is nothing more needed than to get a footing, by hook or by crook,
+in other people's houses to rule over the masters (and that, perhaps,
+after having been brought up in all the straitness of some seminary, and
+without having ever seen more of the world than may lie within twenty or
+thirty leagues round), to fit one to lay down the law rashly for
+chivalry, and pass judgment on knights-errant? Is it, haply, an idle
+occupation, or is the time ill-spent that is spent in roaming the world
+in quest, not of its enjoyments, but of those arduous toils whereby the
+good mount upwards to the abodes of everlasting life? If gentlemen, great
+lords, nobles, men of high birth, were to rate me as a fool I should take
+it as an irreparable insult; but I care not a farthing if clerks who have
+never entered upon or trod the paths of chivalry should think me foolish.
+Knight I am, and knight I will die, if such be the pleasure of the Most
+High. Some take the broad road of overweening ambition; others that of
+mean and servile flattery; others that of deceitful hypocrisy, and some
+that of true religion; but I, led by my star, follow the narrow path of
+knight-errantry, and in pursuit of that calling I despise wealth, but not
+honour. I have redressed injuries, righted wrongs, punished insolences,
+vanquished giants, and crushed monsters; I am in love, for no other
+reason than that it is incumbent on knights-errant to be so; but though I
+am, I am no carnal-minded lover, but one of the chaste, platonic sort. My
+intentions are always directed to worthy ends, to do good to all and evil
+to none; and if he who means this, does this, and makes this his practice
+deserves to be called a fool, it is for your highnesses to say, O most
+excellent duke and duchess."
+
+"Good, by God!" cried Sancho; "say no more in your own defence, master
+mine, for there's nothing more in the world to be said, thought, or
+insisted on; and besides, when this gentleman denies, as he has, that
+there are or ever have been any knights-errant in the world, is it any
+wonder if he knows nothing of what he has been talking about?"
+
+"Perhaps, brother," said the ecclesiastic, "you are that Sancho Panza
+that is mentioned, to whom your master has promised an island?"
+
+"Yes, I am," said Sancho, "and what's more, I am one who deserves it as
+much as anyone; I am one of the sort--'Attach thyself to the good, and
+thou wilt be one of them,' and of those, 'Not with whom thou art bred,
+but with whom thou art fed,' and of those, 'Who leans against a good
+tree, a good shade covers him;' I have leant upon a good master, and I
+have been for months going about with him, and please God I shall be just
+such another; long life to him and long life to me, for neither will he
+be in any want of empires to rule, or I of islands to govern."
+
+"No, Sancho my friend, certainly not," said the duke, "for in the name of
+Senor Don Quixote I confer upon you the government of one of no small
+importance that I have at my disposal."
+
+"Go down on thy knees, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and kiss the feet of
+his excellence for the favour he has bestowed upon thee."
+
+Sancho obeyed, and on seeing this the ecclesiastic stood up from table
+completely out of temper, exclaiming, "By the gown I wear, I am almost
+inclined to say that your excellence is as great a fool as these sinners.
+No wonder they are mad, when people who are in their senses sanction
+their madness! I leave your excellence with them, for so long as they are
+in the house, I will remain in my own, and spare myself the trouble of
+reproving what I cannot remedy;" and without uttering another word, or
+eating another morsel, he went off, the entreaties of the duke and
+duchess being entirely unavailing to stop him; not that the duke said
+much to him, for he could not, because of the laughter his uncalled-for
+anger provoked.
+
+When he had done laughing, he said to Don Quixote, "You have replied on
+your own behalf so stoutly, Sir Knight of the Lions, that there is no
+occasion to seek further satisfaction for this, which, though it may look
+like an offence, is not so at all, for, as women can give no offence, no
+more can ecclesiastics, as you very well know."
+
+"That is true," said Don Quixote, "and the reason is, that he who is not
+liable to offence cannot give offence to anyone. Women, children, and
+ecclesiastics, as they cannot defend themselves, though they may receive
+offence cannot be insulted, because between the offence and the insult
+there is, as your excellence very well knows, this difference: the insult
+comes from one who is capable of offering it, and does so, and maintains
+it; the offence may come from any quarter without carrying insult. To
+take an example: a man is standing unsuspectingly in the street and ten
+others come up armed and beat him; he draws his sword and quits himself
+like a man, but the number of his antagonists makes it impossible for him
+to effect his purpose and avenge himself; this man suffers an offence but
+not an insult. Another example will make the same thing plain: a man is
+standing with his back turned, another comes up and strikes him, and
+after striking him takes to flight, without waiting an instant, and the
+other pursues him but does not overtake him; he who received the blow
+received an offence, but not an insult, because an insult must be
+maintained. If he who struck him, though he did so sneakingly and
+treacherously, had drawn his sword and stood and faced him, then he who
+had been struck would have received offence and insult at the same time;
+offence because he was struck treacherously, insult because he who struck
+him maintained what he had done, standing his ground without taking to
+flight. And so, according to the laws of the accursed duel, I may have
+received offence, but not insult, for neither women nor children can
+maintain it, nor can they wound, nor have they any way of standing their
+ground, and it is just the same with those connected with religion; for
+these three sorts of persons are without arms offensive or defensive, and
+so, though naturally they are bound to defend themselves, they have no
+right to offend anybody; and though I said just now I might have received
+offence, I say now certainly not, for he who cannot receive an insult can
+still less give one; for which reasons I ought not to feel, nor do I
+feel, aggrieved at what that good man said to me; I only wish he had
+stayed a little longer, that I might have shown him the mistake he makes
+in supposing and maintaining that there are not and never have been any
+knights-errant in the world; had Amadis or any of his countless
+descendants heard him say as much, I am sure it would not have gone well
+with his worship."
+
+"I will take my oath of that," said Sancho; "they would have given him a
+slash that would have slit him down from top to toe like a pomegranate or
+a ripe melon; they were likely fellows to put up with jokes of that sort!
+By my faith, I'm certain if Reinaldos of Montalvan had heard the little
+man's words he would have given him such a spank on the mouth that he
+wouldn't have spoken for the next three years; ay, let him tackle them,
+and he'll see how he'll get out of their hands!"
+
+The duchess, as she listened to Sancho, was ready to die with laughter,
+and in her own mind she set him down as droller and madder than his
+master; and there were a good many just then who were of the same
+opinion.
+
+Don Quixote finally grew calm, and dinner came to an end, and as the
+cloth was removed four damsels came in, one of them with a silver basin,
+another with a jug also of silver, a third with two fine white towels on
+her shoulder, and the fourth with her arms bared to the elbows, and in
+her white hands (for white they certainly were) a round ball of Naples
+soap. The one with the basin approached, and with arch composure and
+impudence, thrust it under Don Quixote's chin, who, wondering at such a
+ceremony, said never a word, supposing it to be the custom of that
+country to wash beards instead of hands; he therefore stretched his out
+as far as he could, and at the same instant the jug began to pour and the
+damsel with the soap rubbed his beard briskly, raising snow-flakes, for
+the soap lather was no less white, not only over the beard, but all over
+the face, and over the eyes of the submissive knight, so that they were
+perforce obliged to keep shut. The duke and duchess, who had not known
+anything about this, waited to see what came of this strange washing. The
+barber damsel, when she had him a hand's breadth deep in lather,
+pretended that there was no more water, and bade the one with the jug go
+and fetch some, while Senor Don Quixote waited. She did so, and Don
+Quixote was left the strangest and most ludicrous figure that could be
+imagined. All those present, and there were a good many, were watching
+him, and as they saw him there with half a yard of neck, and that
+uncommonly brown, his eyes shut, and his beard full of soap, it was a
+great wonder, and only by great discretion, that they were able to
+restrain their laughter. The damsels, the concocters of the joke, kept
+their eyes down, not daring to look at their master and mistress; and as
+for them, laughter and anger struggled within them, and they knew not
+what to do, whether to punish the audacity of the girls, or to reward
+them for the amusement they had received from seeing Don Quixote in such
+a plight.
+
+At length the damsel with the jug returned and they made an end of
+washing Don Quixote, and the one who carried the towels very deliberately
+wiped him and dried him; and all four together making him a profound
+obeisance and curtsey, they were about to go, when the duke, lest Don
+Quixote should see through the joke, called out to the one with the basin
+saying, "Come and wash me, and take care that there is water enough." The
+girl, sharp-witted and prompt, came and placed the basin for the duke as
+she had done for Don Quixote, and they soon had him well soaped and
+washed, and having wiped him dry they made their obeisance and retired.
+It appeared afterwards that the duke had sworn that if they had not
+washed him as they had Don Quixote he would have punished them for their
+impudence, which they adroitly atoned for by soaping him as well.
+
+Sancho observed the ceremony of the washing very attentively, and said to
+himself, "God bless me, if it were only the custom in this country to
+wash squires' beards too as well as knights'. For by God and upon my soul
+I want it badly; and if they gave me a scrape of the razor besides I'd
+take it as a still greater kindness."
+
+"What are you saying to yourself, Sancho?" asked the duchess.
+
+"I was saying, senora," he replied, "that in the courts of other princes,
+when the cloth is taken away, I have always heard say they give water for
+the hands, but not lye for the beard; and that shows it is good to live
+long that you may see much; to be sure, they say too that he who lives a
+long life must undergo much evil, though to undergo a washing of that
+sort is pleasure rather than pain."
+
+"Don't be uneasy, friend Sancho," said the duchess; "I will take care
+that my damsels wash you, and even put you in the tub if necessary."
+
+"I'll be content with the beard," said Sancho, "at any rate for the
+present; and as for the future, God has decreed what is to be."
+
+"Attend to worthy Sancho's request, seneschal," said the duchess, "and do
+exactly what he wishes."
+
+The seneschal replied that Senor Sancho should be obeyed in everything;
+and with that he went away to dinner and took Sancho along with him,
+while the duke and duchess and Don Quixote remained at table discussing a
+great variety of things, but all bearing on the calling of arms and
+knight-errantry.
+
+The duchess begged Don Quixote, as he seemed to have a retentive memory,
+to describe and portray to her the beauty and features of the lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, for, judging by what fame trumpeted abroad of her
+beauty, she felt sure she must be the fairest creature in the world, nay,
+in all La Mancha.
+
+Don Quixote sighed on hearing the duchess's request, and said, "If I
+could pluck out my heart, and lay it on a plate on this table here before
+your highness's eyes, it would spare my tongue the pain of telling what
+can hardly be thought of, for in it your excellence would see her
+portrayed in full. But why should I attempt to depict and describe in
+detail, and feature by feature, the beauty of the peerless Dulcinea, the
+burden being one worthy of other shoulders than mine, an enterprise
+wherein the pencils of Parrhasius, Timantes, and Apelles, and the graver
+of Lysippus ought to be employed, to paint it in pictures and carve it in
+marble and bronze, and Ciceronian and Demosthenian eloquence to sound its
+praises?"
+
+"What does Demosthenian mean, Senor Don Quixote?" said the duchess; "it
+is a word I never heard in all my life."
+
+"Demosthenian eloquence," said Don Quixote, "means the eloquence of
+Demosthenes, as Ciceronian means that of Cicero, who were the two most
+eloquent orators in the world."
+
+"True," said the duke; "you must have lost your wits to ask such a
+question. Nevertheless, Senor Don Quixote would greatly gratify us if he
+would depict her to us; for never fear, even in an outline or sketch she
+will be something to make the fairest envious."
+
+"I would do so certainly," said Don Quixote, "had she not been blurred to
+my mind's eye by the misfortune that fell upon her a short time since,
+one of such a nature that I am more ready to weep over it than to
+describe it. For your highnesses must know that, going a few days back to
+kiss her hands and receive her benediction, approbation, and permission
+for this third sally, I found her altogether a different being from the
+one I sought; I found her enchanted and changed from a princess into a
+peasant, from fair to foul, from an angel into a devil, from fragrant to
+pestiferous, from refined to clownish, from a dignified lady into a
+jumping tomboy, and, in a word, from Dulcinea del Toboso into a coarse
+Sayago wench."
+
+"God bless me!" said the duke aloud at this, "who can have done the world
+such an injury? Who can have robbed it of the beauty that gladdened it,
+of the grace and gaiety that charmed it, of the modesty that shed a
+lustre upon it?"
+
+"Who?" replied Don Quixote; "who could it be but some malignant enchanter
+of the many that persecute me out of envy--that accursed race born into
+the world to obscure and bring to naught the achievements of the good,
+and glorify and exalt the deeds of the wicked? Enchanters have persecuted
+me, enchanters persecute me still, and enchanters will continue to
+persecute me until they have sunk me and my lofty chivalry in the deep
+abyss of oblivion; and they injure and wound me where they know I feel it
+most. For to deprive a knight-errant of his lady is to deprive him of the
+eyes he sees with, of the sun that gives him light, of the food whereby
+he lives. Many a time before have I said it, and I say it now once more,
+a knight-errant without a lady is like a tree without leaves, a building
+without a foundation, or a shadow without the body that causes it."
+
+"There is no denying it," said the duchess; "but still, if we are to
+believe the history of Don Quixote that has come out here lately with
+general applause, it is to be inferred from it, if I mistake not, that
+you never saw the lady Dulcinea, and that the said lady is nothing in the
+world but an imaginary lady, one that you yourself begot and gave birth
+to in your brain, and adorned with whatever charms and perfections you
+chose."
+
+"There is a good deal to be said on that point," said Don Quixote; "God
+knows whether there be any Dulcinea or not in the world, or whether she
+is imaginary or not imaginary; these are things the proof of which must
+not be pushed to extreme lengths. I have not begotten nor given birth to
+my lady, though I behold her as she needs must be, a lady who contains in
+herself all the qualities to make her famous throughout the world,
+beautiful without blemish, dignified without haughtiness, tender and yet
+modest, gracious from courtesy and courteous from good breeding, and
+lastly, of exalted lineage, because beauty shines forth and excels with a
+higher degree of perfection upon good blood than in the fair of lowly
+birth."
+
+"That is true," said the duke; "but Senor Don Quixote will give me leave
+to say what I am constrained to say by the story of his exploits that I
+have read, from which it is to be inferred that, granting there is a
+Dulcinea in El Toboso, or out of it, and that she is in the highest
+degree beautiful as you have described her to us, as regards the
+loftiness of her lineage she is not on a par with the Orianas,
+Alastrajareas, Madasimas, or others of that sort, with whom, as you well
+know, the histories abound."
+
+"To that I may reply," said Don Quixote, "that Dulcinea is the daughter
+of her own works, and that virtues rectify blood, and that lowly virtue
+is more to be regarded and esteemed than exalted vice. Dulcinea, besides,
+has that within her that may raise her to be a crowned and sceptred
+queen; for the merit of a fair and virtuous woman is capable of
+performing greater miracles; and virtually, though not formally, she has
+in herself higher fortunes."
+
+"I protest, Senor Don Quixote," said the duchess, "that in all you say,
+you go most cautiously and lead in hand, as the saying is; henceforth I
+will believe myself, and I will take care that everyone in my house
+believes, even my lord the duke if needs be, that there is a Dulcinea in
+El Toboso, and that she is living to-day, and that she is beautiful and
+nobly born and deserves to have such a knight as Senor Don Quixote in her
+service, and that is the highest praise that it is in my power to give
+her or that I can think of. But I cannot help entertaining a doubt, and
+having a certain grudge against Sancho Panza; the doubt is this, that the
+aforesaid history declares that the said Sancho Panza, when he carried a
+letter on your worship's behalf to the said lady Dulcinea, found her
+sifting a sack of wheat; and more by token it says it was red wheat; a
+thing which makes me doubt the loftiness of her lineage."
+
+To this Don Quixote made answer, "Senora, your highness must know that
+everything or almost everything that happens me transcends the ordinary
+limits of what happens to other knights-errant; whether it be that it is
+directed by the inscrutable will of destiny, or by the malice of some
+jealous enchanter. Now it is an established fact that all or most famous
+knights-errant have some special gift, one that of being proof against
+enchantment, another that of being made of such invulnerable flesh that
+he cannot be wounded, as was the famous Roland, one of the twelve peers
+of France, of whom it is related that he could not be wounded except in
+the sole of his left foot, and that it must be with the point of a stout
+pin and not with any other sort of weapon whatever; and so, when Bernardo
+del Carpio slew him at Roncesvalles, finding that he could not wound him
+with steel, he lifted him up from the ground in his arms and strangled
+him, calling to mind seasonably the death which Hercules inflicted on
+Antaeus, the fierce giant that they say was the son of Terra. I would
+infer from what I have mentioned that perhaps I may have some gift of
+this kind, not that of being invulnerable, because experience has many
+times proved to me that I am of tender flesh and not at all impenetrable;
+nor that of being proof against enchantment, for I have already seen
+myself thrust into a cage, in which all the world would not have been
+able to confine me except by force of enchantments. But as I delivered
+myself from that one, I am inclined to believe that there is no other
+that can hurt me; and so, these enchanters, seeing that they cannot exert
+their vile craft against my person, revenge themselves on what I love
+most, and seek to rob me of life by maltreating that of Dulcinea in whom
+I live; and therefore I am convinced that when my squire carried my
+message to her, they changed her into a common peasant girl, engaged in
+such a mean occupation as sifting wheat; I have already said, however,
+that that wheat was not red wheat, nor wheat at all, but grains of orient
+pearl. And as a proof of all this, I must tell your highnesses that,
+coming to El Toboso a short time back, I was altogether unable to
+discover the palace of Dulcinea; and that the next day, though Sancho, my
+squire, saw her in her own proper shape, which is the fairest in the
+world, to me she appeared to be a coarse, ill-favoured farm-wench, and by
+no means a well-spoken one, she who is propriety itself. And so, as I am
+not and, so far as one can judge, cannot be enchanted, she it is that is
+enchanted, that is smitten, that is altered, changed, and transformed; in
+her have my enemies revenged themselves upon me, and for her shall I live
+in ceaseless tears, until I see her in her pristine state. I have
+mentioned this lest anybody should mind what Sancho said about Dulcinea's
+winnowing or sifting; for, as they changed her to me, it is no wonder if
+they changed her to him. Dulcinea is illustrious and well-born, and of
+one of the gentle families of El Toboso, which are many, ancient, and
+good. Therein, most assuredly, not small is the share of the peerless
+Dulcinea, through whom her town will be famous and celebrated in ages to
+come, as Troy was through Helen, and Spain through La Cava, though with a
+better title and tradition. For another thing; I would have your graces
+understand that Sancho Panza is one of the drollest squires that ever
+served knight-errant; sometimes there is a simplicity about him so acute
+that it is an amusement to try and make out whether he is simple or
+sharp; he has mischievous tricks that stamp him rogue, and blundering
+ways that prove him a booby; he doubts everything and believes
+everything; when I fancy he is on the point of coming down headlong from
+sheer stupidity, he comes out with something shrewd that sends him up to
+the skies. After all, I would not exchange him for another squire, though
+I were given a city to boot, and therefore I am in doubt whether it will
+be well to send him to the government your highness has bestowed upon
+him; though I perceive in him a certain aptitude for the work of
+governing, so that, with a little trimming of his understanding, he would
+manage any government as easily as the king does his taxes; and moreover,
+we know already ample experience that it does not require much cleverness
+or much learning to be a governor, for there are a hundred round about us
+that scarcely know how to read, and govern like gerfalcons. The main
+point is that they should have good intentions and be desirous of doing
+right in all things, for they will never be at a loss for persons to
+advise and direct them in what they have to do, like those
+knight-governors who, being no lawyers, pronounce sentences with the aid
+of an assessor. My advice to him will be to take no bribe and surrender
+no right, and I have some other little matters in reserve, that shall be
+produced in due season for Sancho's benefit and the advantage of the
+island he is to govern."
+
+The duke, duchess, and Don Quixote had reached this point in their
+conversation, when they heard voices and a great hubbub in the palace,
+and Sancho burst abruptly into the room all glowing with anger, with a
+straining-cloth by way of a bib, and followed by several servants, or,
+more properly speaking, kitchen-boys and other underlings, one of whom
+carried a small trough full of water, that from its colour and impurity
+was plainly dishwater. The one with the trough pursued him and followed
+him everywhere he went, endeavouring with the utmost persistence to
+thrust it under his chin, while another kitchen-boy seemed anxious to
+wash his beard.
+
+"What is all this, brothers?" asked the duchess. "What is it? What do you
+want to do to this good man? Do you forget he is a governor-elect?"
+
+To which the barber kitchen-boy replied, "The gentleman will not let
+himself be washed as is customary, and as my lord and the senor his
+master have been."
+
+"Yes, I will," said Sancho, in a great rage; "but I'd like it to be with
+cleaner towels, clearer lye, and not such dirty hands; for there's not so
+much difference between me and my master that he should be washed with
+angels' water and I with devil's lye. The customs of countries and
+princes' palaces are only good so long as they give no annoyance; but the
+way of washing they have here is worse than doing penance. I have a clean
+beard, and I don't require to be refreshed in that fashion, and whoever
+comes to wash me or touch a hair of my head, I mean to say my beard, with
+all due respect be it said, I'll give him a punch that will leave my fist
+sunk in his skull; for cirimonies and soapings of this sort are more like
+jokes than the polite attentions of one's host."
+
+The duchess was ready to die with laughter when she saw Sancho's rage and
+heard his words; but it was no pleasure to Don Quixote to see him in such
+a sorry trim, with the dingy towel about him, and the hangers-on of the
+kitchen all round him; so making a low bow to the duke and duchess, as if
+to ask their permission to speak, he addressed the rout in a dignified
+tone: "Holloa, gentlemen! you let that youth alone, and go back to where
+you came from, or anywhere else if you like; my squire is as clean as any
+other person, and those troughs are as bad as narrow thin-necked jars to
+him; take my advice and leave him alone, for neither he nor I understand
+joking."
+
+Sancho took the word out of his mouth and went on, "Nay, let them come
+and try their jokes on the country bumpkin, for it's about as likely I'll
+stand them as that it's now midnight! Let them bring me a comb here, or
+what they please, and curry this beard of mine, and if they get anything
+out of it that offends against cleanliness, let them clip me to the
+skin."
+
+Upon this, the duchess, laughing all the while, said, "Sancho Panza is
+right, and always will be in all he says; he is clean, and, as he says
+himself, he does not require to be washed; and if our ways do not please
+him, he is free to choose. Besides, you promoters of cleanliness have
+been excessively careless and thoughtless, I don't know if I ought not to
+say audacious, to bring troughs and wooden utensils and kitchen
+dishclouts, instead of basins and jugs of pure gold and towels of
+holland, to such a person and such a beard; but, after all, you are
+ill-conditioned and ill-bred, and spiteful as you are, you cannot help
+showing the grudge you have against the squires of knights-errant."
+
+The impudent servitors, and even the seneschal who came with them, took
+the duchess to be speaking in earnest, so they removed the
+straining-cloth from Sancho's neck, and with something like shame and
+confusion of face went off all of them and left him; whereupon he, seeing
+himself safe out of that extreme danger, as it seemed to him, ran and
+fell on his knees before the duchess, saying, "From great ladies great
+favours may be looked for; this which your grace has done me today cannot
+be requited with less than wishing I was dubbed a knight-errant, to
+devote myself all the days of my life to the service of so exalted a
+lady. I am a labouring man, my name is Sancho Panza, I am married, I have
+children, and I am serving as a squire; if in any one of these ways I can
+serve your highness, I will not be longer in obeying than your grace in
+commanding."
+
+"It is easy to see, Sancho," replied the duchess, "that you have learned
+to be polite in the school of politeness itself; I mean to say it is easy
+to see that you have been nursed in the bosom of Senor Don Quixote, who
+is, of course, the cream of good breeding and flower of ceremony--or
+cirimony, as you would say yourself. Fair be the fortunes of such a
+master and such a servant, the one the cynosure of knight-errantry, the
+other the star of squirely fidelity! Rise, Sancho, my friend; I will
+repay your courtesy by taking care that my lord the duke makes good to
+you the promised gift of the government as soon as possible."
+
+With this, the conversation came to an end, and Don Quixote retired to
+take his midday sleep; but the duchess begged Sancho, unless he had a
+very great desire to go to sleep, to come and spend the afternoon with
+her and her damsels in a very cool chamber. Sancho replied that, though
+he certainly had the habit of sleeping four or five hours in the heat of
+the day in summer, to serve her excellence he would try with all his
+might not to sleep even one that day, and that he would come in obedience
+to her command, and with that he went off. The duke gave fresh orders
+with respect to treating Don Quixote as a knight-errant, without
+departing even in smallest particular from the style in which, as the
+stories tell us, they used to treat the knights of old.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIII.
+
+OF THE DELECTABLE DISCOURSE WHICH THE DUCHESS AND HER DAMSELS HELD WITH
+SANCHO PANZA, WELL WORTH READING AND NOTING
+
+
+The history records that Sancho did not sleep that afternoon, but in
+order to keep his word came, before he had well done dinner, to visit the
+duchess, who, finding enjoyment in listening to him, made him sit down
+beside her on a low seat, though Sancho, out of pure good breeding,
+wanted not to sit down; the duchess, however, told him he was to sit down
+as governor and talk as squire, as in both respects he was worthy of even
+the chair of the Cid Ruy Diaz the Campeador. Sancho shrugged his
+shoulders, obeyed, and sat down, and all the duchess's damsels and
+duennas gathered round him, waiting in profound silence to hear what he
+would say. It was the duchess, however, who spoke first, saying:
+
+"Now that we are alone, and that there is nobody here to overhear us, I
+should be glad if the senor governor would relieve me of certain doubts I
+have, rising out of the history of the great Don Quixote that is now in
+print. One is: inasmuch as worthy Sancho never saw Dulcinea, I mean the
+lady Dulcinea del Toboso, nor took Don Quixote's letter to her, for it
+was left in the memorandum book in the Sierra Morena, how did he dare to
+invent the answer and all that about finding her sifting wheat, the whole
+story being a deception and falsehood, and so much to the prejudice of
+the peerless Dulcinea's good name, a thing that is not at all becoming
+the character and fidelity of a good squire?"
+
+At these words, Sancho, without uttering one in reply, got up from his
+chair, and with noiseless steps, with his body bent and his finger on his
+lips, went all round the room lifting up the hangings; and this done, he
+came back to his seat and said, "Now, senora, that I have seen that there
+is no one except the bystanders listening to us on the sly, I will answer
+what you have asked me, and all you may ask me, without fear or dread.
+And the first thing I have got to say is, that for my own part I hold my
+master Don Quixote to be stark mad, though sometimes he says things that,
+to my mind, and indeed everybody's that listens to him, are so wise, and
+run in such a straight furrow, that Satan himself could not have said
+them better; but for all that, really, and beyond all question, it's my
+firm belief he is cracked. Well, then, as this is clear to my mind, I can
+venture to make him believe things that have neither head nor tail, like
+that affair of the answer to the letter, and that other of six or eight
+days ago, which is not yet in history, that is to say, the affair of the
+enchantment of my lady Dulcinea; for I made him believe she is enchanted,
+though there's no more truth in it than over the hills of Ubeda."
+
+The duchess begged him to tell her about the enchantment or deception, so
+Sancho told the whole story exactly as it had happened, and his hearers
+were not a little amused by it; and then resuming, the duchess said, "In
+consequence of what worthy Sancho has told me, a doubt starts up in my
+mind, and there comes a kind of whisper to my ear that says, 'If Don
+Quixote be mad, crazy, and cracked, and Sancho Panza his squire knows it,
+and, notwithstanding, serves and follows him, and goes trusting to his
+empty promises, there can be no doubt he must be still madder and sillier
+than his master; and that being so, it will be cast in your teeth, senora
+duchess, if you give the said Sancho an island to govern; for how will he
+who does not know how to govern himself know how to govern others?'"
+
+"By God, senora," said Sancho, "but that doubt comes timely; but your
+grace may say it out, and speak plainly, or as you like; for I know what
+you say is true, and if I were wise I should have left my master long
+ago; but this was my fate, this was my bad luck; I can't help it, I must
+follow him; we're from the same village, I've eaten his bread, I'm fond
+of him, I'm grateful, he gave me his ass-colts, and above all I'm
+faithful; so it's quite impossible for anything to separate us, except
+the pickaxe and shovel. And if your highness does not like to give me the
+government you promised, God made me without it, and maybe your not
+giving it to me will be all the better for my conscience, for fool as I
+am I know the proverb 'to her hurt the ant got wings,' and it may be that
+Sancho the squire will get to heaven sooner than Sancho the governor.
+'They make as good bread here as in France,' and 'by night all cats are
+grey,' and 'a hard case enough his, who hasn't broken his fast at two in
+the afternoon,' and 'there's no stomach a hand's breadth bigger than
+another,' and the same can be filled 'with straw or hay,' as the saying
+is, and 'the little birds of the field have God for their purveyor and
+caterer,' and 'four yards of Cuenca frieze keep one warmer than four of
+Segovia broad-cloth,' and 'when we quit this world and are put
+underground the prince travels by as narrow a path as the journeyman,'
+and 'the Pope's body does not take up more feet of earth than the
+sacristan's,' for all that the one is higher than the other; for when we
+go to our graves we all pack ourselves up and make ourselves small, or
+rather they pack us up and make us small in spite of us, and then--good
+night to us. And I say once more, if your ladyship does not like to give
+me the island because I'm a fool, like a wise man I will take care to
+give myself no trouble about it; I have heard say that 'behind the cross
+there's the devil,' and that 'all that glitters is not gold,' and that
+from among the oxen, and the ploughs, and the yokes, Wamba the husbandman
+was taken to be made King of Spain, and from among brocades, and
+pleasures, and riches, Roderick was taken to be devoured by adders, if
+the verses of the old ballads don't lie."
+
+"To be sure they don't lie!" exclaimed Dona Rodriguez, the duenna, who
+was one of the listeners. "Why, there's a ballad that says they put King
+Rodrigo alive into a tomb full of toads, and adders, and lizards, and
+that two days afterwards the king, in a plaintive, feeble voice, cried
+out from within the tomb--
+
+They gnaw me now, they gnaw me now,
+There where I most did sin.
+
+And according to that the gentleman has good reason to say he would
+rather be a labouring man than a king, if vermin are to eat him."
+
+The duchess could not help laughing at the simplicity of her duenna, or
+wondering at the language and proverbs of Sancho, to whom she said,
+"Worthy Sancho knows very well that when once a knight has made a promise
+he strives to keep it, though it should cost him his life. My lord and
+husband the duke, though not one of the errant sort, is none the less a
+knight for that reason, and will keep his word about the promised island,
+in spite of the envy and malice of the world. Let Sancho he of good
+cheer; for when he least expects it he will find himself seated on the
+throne of his island and seat of dignity, and will take possession of his
+government that he may discard it for another of three-bordered brocade.
+The charge I give him is to be careful how he governs his vassals,
+bearing in mind that they are all loyal and well-born."
+
+"As to governing them well," said Sancho, "there's no need of charging me
+to do that, for I'm kind-hearted by nature, and full of compassion for
+the poor; there's no stealing the loaf from him who kneads and bakes;'
+and by my faith it won't do to throw false dice with me; I am an old dog,
+and I know all about 'tus, tus;' I can be wide-awake if need be, and I
+don't let clouds come before my eyes, for I know where the shoe pinches
+me; I say so, because with me the good will have support and protection,
+and the bad neither footing nor access. And it seems to me that, in
+governments, to make a beginning is everything; and maybe, after having
+been governor a fortnight, I'll take kindly to the work and know more
+about it than the field labour I have been brought up to."
+
+"You are right, Sancho," said the duchess, "for no one is born ready
+taught, and the bishops are made out of men and not out of stones. But to
+return to the subject we were discussing just now, the enchantment of the
+lady Dulcinea, I look upon it as certain, and something more than
+evident, that Sancho's idea of practising a deception upon his master,
+making him believe that the peasant girl was Dulcinea and that if he did
+not recognise her it must be because she was enchanted, was all a device
+of one of the enchanters that persecute Don Quixote. For in truth and
+earnest, I know from good authority that the coarse country wench who
+jumped up on the ass was and is Dulcinea del Toboso, and that worthy
+Sancho, though he fancies himself the deceiver, is the one that is
+deceived; and that there is no more reason to doubt the truth of this,
+than of anything else we never saw. Senor Sancho Panza must know that we
+too have enchanters here that are well disposed to us, and tell us what
+goes on in the world, plainly and distinctly, without subterfuge or
+deception; and believe me, Sancho, that agile country lass was and is
+Dulcinea del Toboso, who is as much enchanted as the mother that bore
+her; and when we least expect it, we shall see her in her own proper
+form, and then Sancho will be disabused of the error he is under at
+present."
+
+"All that's very possible," said Sancho Panza; "and now I'm willing to
+believe what my master says about what he saw in the cave of Montesinos,
+where he says he saw the lady Dulcinea del Toboso in the very same dress
+and apparel that I said I had seen her in when I enchanted her all to
+please myself. It must be all exactly the other way, as your ladyship
+says; because it is impossible to suppose that out of my poor wit such a
+cunning trick could be concocted in a moment, nor do I think my master is
+so mad that by my weak and feeble persuasion he could be made to believe
+a thing so out of all reason. But, senora, your excellence must not
+therefore think me ill-disposed, for a dolt like me is not bound to see
+into the thoughts and plots of those vile enchanters. I invented all that
+to escape my master's scolding, and not with any intention of hurting
+him; and if it has turned out differently, there is a God in heaven who
+judges our hearts."
+
+"That is true," said the duchess; "but tell me, Sancho, what is this you
+say about the cave of Montesinos, for I should like to know."
+
+Sancho upon this related to her, word for word, what has been said
+already touching that adventure, and having heard it the duchess said,
+"From this occurrence it may be inferred that, as the great Don Quixote
+says he saw there the same country wench Sancho saw on the way from El
+Toboso, it is, no doubt, Dulcinea, and that there are some very active
+and exceedingly busy enchanters about."
+
+"So I say," said Sancho, "and if my lady Dulcinea is enchanted, so much
+the worse for her, and I'm not going to pick a quarrel with my master's
+enemies, who seem to be many and spiteful. The truth is that the one I
+saw was a country wench, and I set her down to be a country wench; and if
+that was Dulcinea it must not be laid at my door, nor should I be called
+to answer for it or take the consequences. But they must go nagging at me
+at every step--'Sancho said it, Sancho did it, Sancho here, Sancho
+there,' as if Sancho was nobody at all, and not that same Sancho Panza
+that's now going all over the world in books, so Samson Carrasco told me,
+and he's at any rate one that's a bachelor of Salamanca; and people of
+that sort can't lie, except when the whim seizes them or they have some
+very good reason for it. So there's no occasion for anybody to quarrel
+with me; and then I have a good character, and, as I have heard my master
+say, 'a good name is better than great riches;' let them only stick me
+into this government and they'll see wonders, for one who has been a good
+squire will be a good governor."
+
+"All worthy Sancho's observations," said the duchess, "are Catonian
+sentences, or at any rate out of the very heart of Michael Verino
+himself, who florentibus occidit annis. In fact, to speak in his own
+style, 'under a bad cloak there's often a good drinker.'"
+
+"Indeed, senora," said Sancho, "I never yet drank out of wickedness; from
+thirst I have very likely, for I have nothing of the hypocrite in me; I
+drink when I'm inclined, or, if I'm not inclined, when they offer it to
+me, so as not to look either strait-laced or ill-bred; for when a friend
+drinks one's health what heart can be so hard as not to return it? But if
+I put on my shoes I don't dirty them; besides, squires to knights-errant
+mostly drink water, for they are always wandering among woods, forests
+and meadows, mountains and crags, without a drop of wine to be had if
+they gave their eyes for it."
+
+"So I believe," said the duchess; "and now let Sancho go and take his
+sleep, and we will talk by-and-by at greater length, and settle how he
+may soon go and stick himself into the government, as he says."
+
+Sancho once more kissed the duchess's hand, and entreated her to let good
+care be taken of his Dapple, for he was the light of his eyes.
+
+"What is Dapple?" said the duchess.
+
+"My ass," said Sancho, "which, not to mention him by that name, I'm
+accustomed to call Dapple; I begged this lady duenna here to take care of
+him when I came into the castle, and she got as angry as if I had said
+she was ugly or old, though it ought to be more natural and proper for
+duennas to feed asses than to ornament chambers. God bless me! what a
+spite a gentleman of my village had against these ladies!"
+
+"He must have been some clown," said Dona Rodriguez the duenna; "for if
+he had been a gentleman and well-born he would have exalted them higher
+than the horns of the moon."
+
+"That will do," said the duchess; "no more of this; hush, Dona Rodriguez,
+and let Senor Panza rest easy and leave the treatment of Dapple in my
+charge, for as he is a treasure of Sancho's, I'll put him on the apple of
+my eye."
+
+"It will be enough for him to be in the stable," said Sancho, "for
+neither he nor I are worthy to rest a moment in the apple of your
+highness's eye, and I'd as soon stab myself as consent to it; for though
+my master says that in civilities it is better to lose by a card too many
+than a card too few, when it comes to civilities to asses we must mind
+what we are about and keep within due bounds."
+
+"Take him to your government, Sancho," said the duchess, "and there you
+will be able to make as much of him as you like, and even release him
+from work and pension him off."
+
+"Don't think, senora duchess, that you have said anything absurd," said
+Sancho; "I have seen more than two asses go to governments, and for me to
+take mine with me would be nothing new."
+
+Sancho's words made the duchess laugh again and gave her fresh amusement,
+and dismissing him to sleep she went away to tell the duke the
+conversation she had had with him, and between them they plotted and
+arranged to play a joke upon Don Quixote that was to be a rare one and
+entirely in knight-errantry style, and in that same style they practised
+several upon him, so much in keeping and so clever that they form the
+best adventures this great history contains.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIV.
+
+WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY WERE TO DISENCHANT
+THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO, WHICH IS ONE OF THE RAREST ADVENTURES
+IN THIS BOOK
+
+
+Great was the pleasure the duke and duchess took in the conversation of
+Don Quixote and Sancho Panza; and, more bent than ever upon the plan they
+had of practising some jokes upon them that should have the look and
+appearance of adventures, they took as their basis of action what Don
+Quixote had already told them about the cave of Montesinos, in order to
+play him a famous one. But what the duchess marvelled at above all was
+that Sancho's simplicity could be so great as to make him believe as
+absolute truth that Dulcinea had been enchanted, when it was he himself
+who had been the enchanter and trickster in the business. Having,
+therefore, instructed their servants in everything they were to do, six
+days afterwards they took him out to hunt, with as great a retinue of
+huntsmen and beaters as a crowned king.
+
+They presented Don Quixote with a hunting suit, and Sancho with another
+of the finest green cloth; but Don Quixote declined to put his on, saying
+that he must soon return to the hard pursuit of arms, and could not carry
+wardrobes or stores with him. Sancho, however, took what they gave him,
+meaning to sell it the first opportunity.
+
+The appointed day having arrived, Don Quixote armed himself, and Sancho
+arrayed himself, and mounted on his Dapple (for he would not give him up
+though they offered him a horse), he placed himself in the midst of the
+troop of huntsmen. The duchess came out splendidly attired, and Don
+Quixote, in pure courtesy and politeness, held the rein of her palfrey,
+though the duke wanted not to allow him; and at last they reached a wood
+that lay between two high mountains, where, after occupying various
+posts, ambushes, and paths, and distributing the party in different
+positions, the hunt began with great noise, shouting, and hallooing, so
+that, between the baying of the hounds and the blowing of the horns, they
+could not hear one another. The duchess dismounted, and with a sharp
+boar-spear in her hand posted herself where she knew the wild boars were
+in the habit of passing. The duke and Don Quixote likewise dismounted and
+placed themselves one at each side of her. Sancho took up a position in
+the rear of all without dismounting from Dapple, whom he dared not desert
+lest some mischief should befall him. Scarcely had they taken their stand
+in a line with several of their servants, when they saw a huge boar,
+closely pressed by the hounds and followed by the huntsmen, making
+towards them, grinding his teeth and tusks, and scattering foam from his
+mouth. As soon as he saw him Don Quixote, bracing his shield on his arm,
+and drawing his sword, advanced to meet him; the duke with boar-spear did
+the same; but the duchess would have gone in front of them all had not
+the duke prevented her. Sancho alone, deserting Dapple at the sight of
+the mighty beast, took to his heels as hard as he could and strove in
+vain to mount a tall oak. As he was clinging to a branch, however,
+half-way up in his struggle to reach the top, the bough, such was his
+ill-luck and hard fate, gave way, and caught in his fall by a broken limb
+of the oak, he hung suspended in the air unable to reach the ground.
+Finding himself in this position, and that the green coat was beginning
+to tear, and reflecting that if the fierce animal came that way he might
+be able to get at him, he began to utter such cries, and call for help so
+earnestly, that all who heard him and did not see him felt sure he must
+be in the teeth of some wild beast. In the end the tusked boar fell
+pierced by the blades of the many spears they held in front of him; and
+Don Quixote, turning round at the cries of Sancho, for he knew by them
+that it was he, saw him hanging from the oak head downwards, with Dapple,
+who did not forsake him in his distress, close beside him; and Cide
+Hamete observes that he seldom saw Sancho Panza without seeing Dapple, or
+Dapple without seeing Sancho Panza; such was their attachment and loyalty
+one to the other. Don Quixote went over and unhooked Sancho, who, as soon
+as he found himself on the ground, looked at the rent in his huntingcoat
+and was grieved to the heart, for he thought he had got a patrimonial
+estate in that suit.
+
+Meanwhile they had slung the mighty boar across the back of a mule, and
+having covered it with sprigs of rosemary and branches of myrtle, they
+bore it away as the spoils of victory to some large field-tents which had
+been pitched in the middle of the wood, where they found the tables laid
+and dinner served, in such grand and sumptuous style that it was easy to
+see the rank and magnificence of those who had provided it. Sancho, as he
+showed the rents in his torn suit to the duchess, observed, "If we had
+been hunting hares, or after small birds, my coat would have been safe
+from being in the plight it's in; I don't know what pleasure one can find
+in lying in wait for an animal that may take your life with his tusk if
+he gets at you. I recollect having heard an old ballad sung that says,
+
+ By bears be thou devoured, as erst
+ Was famous Favila."
+
+"That," said Don Quixote, "was a Gothic king, who, going a-hunting, was
+devoured by a bear."
+
+"Just so," said Sancho; "and I would not have kings and princes expose
+themselves to such dangers for the sake of a pleasure which, to my mind,
+ought not to be one, as it consists in killing an animal that has done no
+harm whatever."
+
+"Quite the contrary, Sancho; you are wrong there," said the duke; "for
+hunting is more suitable and requisite for kings and princes than for
+anybody else. The chase is the emblem of war; it has stratagems, wiles,
+and crafty devices for overcoming the enemy in safety; in it extreme cold
+and intolerable heat have to be borne, indolence and sleep are despised,
+the bodily powers are invigorated, the limbs of him who engages in it are
+made supple, and, in a word, it is a pursuit which may be followed
+without injury to anyone and with enjoyment to many; and the best of it
+is, it is not for everybody, as field-sports of other sorts are, except
+hawking, which also is only for kings and great lords. Reconsider your
+opinion therefore, Sancho, and when you are governor take to hunting, and
+you will find the good of it."
+
+"Nay," said Sancho, "the good governor should have a broken leg and keep
+at home;" it would be a nice thing if, after people had been at the
+trouble of coming to look for him on business, the governor were to be
+away in the forest enjoying himself; the government would go on badly in
+that fashion. By my faith, senor, hunting and amusements are more fit for
+idlers than for governors; what I intend to amuse myself with is playing
+all fours at Eastertime, and bowls on Sundays and holidays; for these
+huntings don't suit my condition or agree with my conscience."
+
+"God grant it may turn out so," said the duke; "because it's a long step
+from saying to doing."
+
+"Be that as it may," said Sancho, "'pledges don't distress a good payer,'
+and 'he whom God helps does better than he who gets up early,' and 'it's
+the tripes that carry the feet and not the feet the tripes;' I mean to
+say that if God gives me help and I do my duty honestly, no doubt I'll
+govern better than a gerfalcon. Nay, let them only put a finger in my
+mouth, and they'll see whether I can bite or not."
+
+"The curse of God and all his saints upon thee, thou accursed Sancho!"
+exclaimed Don Quixote; "when will the day come--as I have often said to
+thee--when I shall hear thee make one single coherent, rational remark
+without proverbs? Pray, your highnesses, leave this fool alone, for he
+will grind your souls between, not to say two, but two thousand proverbs,
+dragged in as much in season, and as much to the purpose as--may God
+grant as much health to him, or to me if I want to listen to them!"
+
+"Sancho Panza's proverbs," said the duchess, "though more in number than
+the Greek Commander's, are not therefore less to be esteemed for the
+conciseness of the maxims. For my own part, I can say they give me more
+pleasure than others that may be better brought in and more seasonably
+introduced."
+
+In pleasant conversation of this sort they passed out of the tent into
+the wood, and the day was spent in visiting some of the posts and
+hiding-places, and then night closed in, not, however, as brilliantly or
+tranquilly as might have been expected at the season, for it was then
+midsummer; but bringing with it a kind of haze that greatly aided the
+project of the duke and duchess; and thus, as night began to fall, and a
+little after twilight set in, suddenly the whole wood on all four sides
+seemed to be on fire, and shortly after, here, there, on all sides, a
+vast number of trumpets and other military instruments were heard, as if
+several troops of cavalry were passing through the wood. The blaze of the
+fire and the noise of the warlike instruments almost blinded the eyes and
+deafened the ears of those that stood by, and indeed of all who were in
+the wood. Then there were heard repeated lelilies after the fashion of
+the Moors when they rush to battle; trumpets and clarions brayed, drums
+beat, fifes played, so unceasingly and so fast that he could not have had
+any senses who did not lose them with the confused din of so many
+instruments. The duke was astounded, the duchess amazed, Don Quixote
+wondering, Sancho Panza trembling, and indeed, even they who were aware
+of the cause were frightened. In their fear, silence fell upon them, and
+a postillion, in the guise of a demon, passed in front of them, blowing,
+in lieu of a bugle, a huge hollow horn that gave out a horrible hoarse
+note.
+
+"Ho there! brother courier," cried the duke, "who are you? Where are you
+going? What troops are these that seem to be passing through the wood?"
+
+To which the courier replied in a harsh, discordant voice, "I am the
+devil; I am in search of Don Quixote of La Mancha; those who are coming
+this way are six troops of enchanters, who are bringing on a triumphal
+car the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso; she comes under enchantment,
+together with the gallant Frenchman Montesinos, to give instructions to
+Don Quixote as to how, she the said lady, may be disenchanted."
+
+"If you were the devil, as you say and as your appearance indicates,"
+said the duke, "you would have known the said knight Don Quixote of La
+Mancha, for you have him here before you."
+
+"By God and upon my conscience," said the devil, "I never observed it,
+for my mind is occupied with so many different things that I was
+forgetting the main thing I came about."
+
+"This demon must be an honest fellow and a good Christian," said Sancho;
+"for if he wasn't he wouldn't swear by God and his conscience; I feel
+sure now there must be good souls even in hell itself."
+
+Without dismounting, the demon then turned to Don Quixote and said, "The
+unfortunate but valiant knight Montesinos sends me to thee, the Knight of
+the Lions (would that I saw thee in their claws), bidding me tell thee to
+wait for him wherever I may find thee, as he brings with him her whom
+they call Dulcinea del Toboso, that he may show thee what is needful in
+order to disenchant her; and as I came for no more I need stay no longer;
+demons of my sort be with thee, and good angels with these gentles;" and
+so saying he blew his huge horn, turned about and went off without
+waiting for a reply from anyone.
+
+They all felt fresh wonder, but particularly Sancho and Don Quixote;
+Sancho to see how, in defiance of the truth, they would have it that
+Dulcinea was enchanted; Don Quixote because he could not feel sure
+whether what had happened to him in the cave of Montesinos was true or
+not; and as he was deep in these cogitations the duke said to him, "Do
+you mean to wait, Senor Don Quixote?"
+
+"Why not?" replied he; "here will I wait, fearless and firm, though all
+hell should come to attack me."
+
+"Well then, if I see another devil or hear another horn like the last,
+I'll wait here as much as in Flanders," said Sancho.
+
+Night now closed in more completely, and many lights began to flit
+through the wood, just as those fiery exhalations from the earth, that
+look like shooting-stars to our eyes, flit through the heavens; a
+frightful noise, too, was heard, like that made by the solid wheels the
+ox-carts usually have, by the harsh, ceaseless creaking of which, they
+say, the bears and wolves are put to flight, if there happen to be any
+where they are passing. In addition to all this commotion, there came a
+further disturbance to increase the tumult, for now it seemed as if in
+truth, on all four sides of the wood, four encounters or battles were
+going on at the same time; in one quarter resounded the dull noise of a
+terrible cannonade, in another numberless muskets were being discharged,
+the shouts of the combatants sounded almost close at hand, and farther
+away the Moorish lelilies were raised again and again. In a word, the
+bugles, the horns, the clarions, the trumpets, the drums, the cannon, the
+musketry, and above all the tremendous noise of the carts, all made up
+together a din so confused and terrific that Don Quixote had need to
+summon up all his courage to brave it; but Sancho's gave way, and he fell
+fainting on the skirt of the duchess's robe, who let him lie there and
+promptly bade them throw water in his face. This was done, and he came to
+himself by the time that one of the carts with the creaking wheels
+reached the spot. It was drawn by four plodding oxen all covered with
+black housings; on each horn they had fixed a large lighted wax taper,
+and on the top of the cart was constructed a raised seat, on which sat a
+venerable old man with a beard whiter than the very snow, and so long
+that it fell below his waist; he was dressed in a long robe of black
+buckram; for as the cart was thickly set with a multitude of candles it
+was easy to make out everything that was on it. Leading it were two
+hideous demons, also clad in buckram, with countenances so frightful that
+Sancho, having once seen them, shut his eyes so as not to see them again.
+As soon as the cart came opposite the spot the old man rose from his
+lofty seat, and standing up said in a loud voice, "I am the sage
+Lirgandeo," and without another word the cart then passed on. Behind it
+came another of the same form, with another aged man enthroned, who,
+stopping the cart, said in a voice no less solemn than that of the first,
+"I am the sage Alquife, the great friend of Urganda the Unknown," and
+passed on. Then another cart came by at the same pace, but the occupant
+of the throne was not old like the others, but a man stalwart and robust,
+and of a forbidding countenance, who as he came up said in a voice far
+hoarser and more devilish, "I am the enchanter Archelaus, the mortal
+enemy of Amadis of Gaul and all his kindred," and then passed on. Having
+gone a short distance the three carts halted and the monotonous noise of
+their wheels ceased, and soon after they heard another, not noise, but
+sound of sweet, harmonious music, of which Sancho was very glad, taking
+it to be a good sign; and said he to the duchess, from whom he did not
+stir a step, or for a single instant, "Senora, where there's music there
+can't be mischief."
+
+"Nor where there are lights and it is bright," said the duchess; to which
+Sancho replied, "Fire gives light, and it's bright where there are
+bonfires, as we see by those that are all round us and perhaps may burn
+us; but music is a sign of mirth and merrymaking."
+
+"That remains to be seen," said Don Quixote, who was listening to all
+that passed; and he was right, as is shown in the following chapter.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXV.
+
+WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO DON QUIXOTE TOUCHING THE
+DISENCHANTMENT OF DULCINEA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MARVELLOUS INCIDENTS
+
+
+They saw advancing towards them, to the sound of this pleasing music,
+what they call a triumphal car, drawn by six grey mules with white linen
+housings, on each of which was mounted a penitent, robed also in white,
+with a large lighted wax taper in his hand. The car was twice or,
+perhaps, three times as large as the former ones, and in front and on the
+sides stood twelve more penitents, all as white as snow and all with
+lighted tapers, a spectacle to excite fear as well as wonder; and on a
+raised throne was seated a nymph draped in a multitude of silver-tissue
+veils with an embroidery of countless gold spangles glittering all over
+them, that made her appear, if not richly, at least brilliantly,
+apparelled. She had her face covered with thin transparent sendal, the
+texture of which did not prevent the fair features of a maiden from being
+distinguished, while the numerous lights made it possible to judge of her
+beauty and of her years, which seemed to be not less than seventeen but
+not to have yet reached twenty. Beside her was a figure in a robe of
+state, as they call it, reaching to the feet, while the head was covered
+with a black veil. But the instant the car was opposite the duke and
+duchess and Don Quixote the music of the clarions ceased, and then that
+of the lutes and harps on the car, and the figure in the robe rose up,
+and flinging it apart and removing the veil from its face, disclosed to
+their eyes the shape of Death itself, fleshless and hideous, at which
+sight Don Quixote felt uneasy, Sancho frightened, and the duke and
+duchess displayed a certain trepidation. Having risen to its feet, this
+living death, in a sleepy voice and with a tongue hardly awake, held
+forth as follows:
+
+I am that Merlin who the legends say
+The devil had for father, and the lie
+Hath gathered credence with the lapse of time.
+Of magic prince, of Zoroastric lore
+Monarch and treasurer, with jealous eye
+I view the efforts of the age to hide
+The gallant deeds of doughty errant knights,
+Who are, and ever have been, dear to me.
+ Enchanters and magicians and their kind
+
+Are mostly hard of heart; not so am I;
+For mine is tender, soft, compassionate,
+And its delight is doing good to all.
+In the dim caverns of the gloomy Dis,
+Where, tracing mystic lines and characters,
+My soul abideth now, there came to me
+The sorrow-laden plaint of her, the fair,
+The peerless Dulcinea del Toboso.
+I knew of her enchantment and her fate,
+From high-born dame to peasant wench transformed
+And touched with pity, first I turned the leaves
+Of countless volumes of my devilish craft,
+And then, in this grim grisly skeleton
+Myself encasing, hither have I come
+To show where lies the fitting remedy
+To give relief in such a piteous case.
+ O thou, the pride and pink of all that wear
+
+The adamantine steel! O shining light,
+O beacon, polestar, path and guide of all
+Who, scorning slumber and the lazy down,
+Adopt the toilsome life of bloodstained arms!
+To thee, great hero who all praise transcends,
+La Mancha's lustre and Iberia's star,
+Don Quixote, wise as brave, to thee I say--
+For peerless Dulcinea del Toboso
+Her pristine form and beauty to regain,
+'T is needful that thy esquire Sancho shall,
+On his own sturdy buttocks bared to heaven,
+Three thousand and three hundred lashes lay,
+And that they smart and sting and hurt him well.
+Thus have the authors of her woe resolved.
+And this is, gentles, wherefore I have come.
+
+"By all that's good," exclaimed Sancho at this, "I'll just as soon give
+myself three stabs with a dagger as three, not to say three thousand,
+lashes. The devil take such a way of disenchanting! I don't see what my
+backside has got to do with enchantments. By God, if Senor Merlin has not
+found out some other way of disenchanting the lady Dulcinea del Toboso,
+she may go to her grave enchanted."
+
+"But I'll take you, Don Clown stuffed with garlic," said Don Quixote,
+"and tie you to a tree as naked as when your mother brought you forth,
+and give you, not to say three thousand three hundred, but six thousand
+six hundred lashes, and so well laid on that they won't be got rid of if
+you try three thousand three hundred times; don't answer me a word or
+I'll tear your soul out."
+
+On hearing this Merlin said, "That will not do, for the lashes worthy
+Sancho has to receive must be given of his own free will and not by
+force, and at whatever time he pleases, for there is no fixed limit
+assigned to him; but it is permitted him, if he likes to commute by half
+the pain of this whipping, to let them be given by the hand of another,
+though it may be somewhat weighty."
+
+"Not a hand, my own or anybody else's, weighty or weighable, shall touch
+me," said Sancho. "Was it I that gave birth to the lady Dulcinea del
+Toboso, that my backside is to pay for the sins of her eyes? My master,
+indeed, that's a part of her--for, he's always calling her 'my life' and
+'my soul,' and his stay and prop--may and ought to whip himself for her
+and take all the trouble required for her disenchantment. But for me to
+whip myself! Abernuncio!"
+
+As soon as Sancho had done speaking the nymph in silver that was at the
+side of Merlin's ghost stood up, and removing the thin veil from her face
+disclosed one that seemed to all something more than exceedingly
+beautiful; and with a masculine freedom from embarrassment and in a voice
+not very like a lady's, addressing Sancho directly, said, "Thou wretched
+squire, soul of a pitcher, heart of a cork tree, with bowels of flint and
+pebbles; if, thou impudent thief, they bade thee throw thyself down from
+some lofty tower; if, enemy of mankind, they asked thee to swallow a
+dozen of toads, two of lizards, and three of adders; if they wanted thee
+to slay thy wife and children with a sharp murderous scimitar, it would
+be no wonder for thee to show thyself stubborn and squeamish. But to make
+a piece of work about three thousand three hundred lashes, what every
+poor little charity-boy gets every month--it is enough to amaze,
+astonish, astound the compassionate bowels of all who hear it, nay, all
+who come to hear it in the course of time. Turn, O miserable,
+hard-hearted animal, turn, I say, those timorous owl's eyes upon these of
+mine that are compared to radiant stars, and thou wilt see them weeping
+trickling streams and rills, and tracing furrows, tracks, and paths over
+the fair fields of my cheeks. Let it move thee, crafty, ill-conditioned
+monster, to see my blooming youth--still in its teens, for I am not yet
+twenty--wasting and withering away beneath the husk of a rude peasant
+wench; and if I do not appear in that shape now, it is a special favour
+Senor Merlin here has granted me, to the sole end that my beauty may
+soften thee; for the tears of beauty in distress turn rocks into cotton
+and tigers into ewes. Lay on to that hide of thine, thou great untamed
+brute, rouse up thy lusty vigour that only urges thee to eat and eat, and
+set free the softness of my flesh, the gentleness of my nature, and the
+fairness of my face. And if thou wilt not relent or come to reason for
+me, do so for the sake of that poor knight thou hast beside thee; thy
+master I mean, whose soul I can this moment see, how he has it stuck in
+his throat not ten fingers from his lips, and only waiting for thy
+inflexible or yielding reply to make its escape by his mouth or go back
+again into his stomach."
+
+Don Quixote on hearing this felt his throat, and turning to the duke he
+said, "By God, senor, Dulcinea says true, I have my soul stuck here in my
+throat like the nut of a crossbow."
+
+"What say you to this, Sancho?" said the duchess.
+
+"I say, senora," returned Sancho, "what I said before; as for the lashes,
+abernuncio!"
+
+"Abrenuncio, you should say, Sancho, and not as you do," said the duke.
+
+"Let me alone, your highness," said Sancho. "I'm not in a humour now to
+look into niceties or a letter more or less, for these lashes that are to
+be given me, or I'm to give myself, have so upset me, that I don't know
+what I'm saying or doing. But I'd like to know of this lady, my lady
+Dulcinea del Toboso, where she learned this way she has of asking
+favours. She comes to ask me to score my flesh with lashes, and she calls
+me soul of a pitcher, and great untamed brute, and a string of foul names
+that the devil is welcome to. Is my flesh brass? or is it anything to me
+whether she is enchanted or not? Does she bring with her a basket of fair
+linen, shirts, kerchiefs, socks-not that wear any--to coax me? No,
+nothing but one piece of abuse after another, though she knows the
+proverb they have here that 'an ass loaded with gold goes lightly up a
+mountain,' and that 'gifts break rocks,' and 'praying to God and plying
+the hammer,' and that 'one "take" is better than two "I'll give thee's."'
+Then there's my master, who ought to stroke me down and pet me to make me
+turn wool and carded cotton; he says if he gets hold of me he'll tie me
+naked to a tree and double the tale of lashes on me. These tender-hearted
+gentry should consider that it's not merely a squire, but a governor they
+are asking to whip himself; just as if it was 'drink with cherries.' Let
+them learn, plague take them, the right way to ask, and beg, and behave
+themselves; for all times are not alike, nor are people always in good
+humour. I'm now ready to burst with grief at seeing my green coat torn,
+and they come to ask me to whip myself of my own free will, I having as
+little fancy for it as for turning cacique."
+
+"Well then, the fact is, friend Sancho," said the duke, "that unless you
+become softer than a ripe fig, you shall not get hold of the government.
+It would be a nice thing for me to send my islanders a cruel governor
+with flinty bowels, who won't yield to the tears of afflicted damsels or
+to the prayers of wise, magisterial, ancient enchanters and sages. In
+short, Sancho, either you must be whipped by yourself, or they must whip
+you, or you shan't be governor."
+
+"Senor," said Sancho, "won't two days' grace be given me in which to
+consider what is best for me?"
+
+"No, certainly not," said Merlin; "here, this minute, and on the spot,
+the matter must be settled; either Dulcinea will return to the cave of
+Montesinos and to her former condition of peasant wench, or else in her
+present form shall be carried to the Elysian fields, where she will
+remain waiting until the number of stripes is completed."
+
+"Now then, Sancho!" said the duchess, "show courage, and gratitude for
+your master Don Quixote's bread that you have eaten; we are all bound to
+oblige and please him for his benevolent disposition and lofty chivalry.
+Consent to this whipping, my son; to the devil with the devil, and leave
+fear to milksops, for 'a stout heart breaks bad luck,' as you very well
+know."
+
+To this Sancho replied with an irrelevant remark, which, addressing
+Merlin, he made to him, "Will your worship tell me, Senor Merlin--when
+that courier devil came up he gave my master a message from Senor
+Montesinos, charging him to wait for him here, as he was coming to
+arrange how the lady Dona Dulcinea del Toboso was to be disenchanted; but
+up to the present we have not seen Montesinos, nor anything like him."
+
+To which Merlin made answer, "The devil, Sancho, is a blockhead and a
+great scoundrel; I sent him to look for your master, but not with a
+message from Montesinos but from myself; for Montesinos is in his cave
+expecting, or more properly speaking, waiting for his disenchantment; for
+there's the tail to be skinned yet for him; if he owes you anything, or
+you have any business to transact with him, I'll bring him to you and put
+him where you choose; but for the present make up your mind to consent to
+this penance, and believe me it will be very good for you, for soul as
+well for body--for your soul because of the charity with which you
+perform it, for your body because I know that you are of a sanguine habit
+and it will do you no harm to draw a little blood."
+
+"There are a great many doctors in the world; even the enchanters are
+doctors," said Sancho; "however, as everybody tells me the same
+thing--though I can't see it myself--I say I am willing to give myself
+the three thousand three hundred lashes, provided I am to lay them on
+whenever I like, without any fixing of days or times; and I'll try and
+get out of debt as quickly as I can, that the world may enjoy the beauty
+of the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; as it seems, contrary to what I thought,
+that she is beautiful after all. It must be a condition, too, that I am
+not to be bound to draw blood with the scourge, and that if any of the
+lashes happen to be fly-flappers they are to count. Item, that, in case I
+should make any mistake in the reckoning, Senor Merlin, as he knows
+everything, is to keep count, and let me know how many are still wanting
+or over the number."
+
+"There will be no need to let you know of any over," said Merlin,
+"because, when you reach the full number, the lady Dulcinea will at once,
+and that very instant, be disenchanted, and will come in her gratitude to
+seek out the worthy Sancho, and thank him, and even reward him for the
+good work. So you have no cause to be uneasy about stripes too many or
+too few; heaven forbid I should cheat anyone of even a hair of his head."
+
+"Well then, in God's hands be it," said Sancho; "in the hard case I'm in
+I give in; I say I accept the penance on the conditions laid down."
+
+The instant Sancho uttered these last words the music of the clarions
+struck up once more, and again a host of muskets were discharged, and Don
+Quixote hung on Sancho's neck kissing him again and again on the forehead
+and cheeks. The duchess and the duke expressed the greatest satisfaction,
+the car began to move on, and as it passed the fair Dulcinea bowed to the
+duke and duchess and made a low curtsey to Sancho.
+
+And now bright smiling dawn came on apace; the flowers of the field,
+revived, raised up their heads, and the crystal waters of the brooks,
+murmuring over the grey and white pebbles, hastened to pay their tribute
+to the expectant rivers; the glad earth, the unclouded sky, the fresh
+breeze, the clear light, each and all showed that the day that came
+treading on the skirts of morning would be calm and bright. The duke and
+duchess, pleased with their hunt and at having carried out their plans so
+cleverly and successfully, returned to their castle resolved to follow up
+their joke; for to them there was no reality that could afford them more
+amusement.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II.,
+Part 29, by Miguel de Cervantes
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 29 ***
+
+***** This file should be named 5932.txt or 5932.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+ https://www.gutenberg.org/5/9/3/5932/
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
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