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diff --git a/5922.txt b/5922.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c6b2456 --- /dev/null +++ b/5922.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2240 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part +19, by Miguel de Cervantes + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., Part 19 + +Author: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra + +Release Date: July 21, 2004 [EBook #5922] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 19 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + + + DON QUIXOTE + + Volume II. + + Part 19. + + by Miguel de Cervantes + + + Translated by John Ormsby + + + + +CONTENTS + +Part II. + + +CHAPTER I +OF THE INTERVIEW THE CURATE AND THE BARBER HAD WITH DON QUIXOTE +ABOUT HIS MALADY + +CHAPTER II +WHICH TREATS OF THE NOTABLE ALTERCATION WHICH SANCHO PANZA HAD +WITH DON QUIXOTE'S NIECE, AND HOUSEKEEPER, TOGETHER WITH OTHER DROLL +MATTERS + +CHAPTER III +OF THE LAUGHABLE CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE, +SANCHO PANZA, AND THE BACHELOR SAMSON CARRASCO + +CHAPTER IV +IN WHICH SANCHO PANZA GIVES A SATISFACTORY REPLY TO THE DOUBTS AND +QUESTIONS OF THE BACHELOR SAMSON CARRASCO, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MATTERS +WORTH KNOWING AND TELLING + +CHAPTER V +OF THE SHREWD AND DROLL CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHO +PANZA AND HIS WIFE TERESA PANZA, AND OTHER MATTERS WORTHY OF BEING +DULY RECORDED + +CHAPTER VI +OF WHAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS NIECE AND +HOUSEKEEPER; ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTERS IN THE WHOLE HISTORY + +CHAPTER VII +OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE, TOGETHER WITH +OTHER VERY NOTABLE INCIDENTS + +CHAPTER VIII +WHEREIN IS RELATED WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE ON HIS WAY TO SEE HIS +LADY DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO + +CHAPTER IX +WHEREIN IS RELATED WHAT WILL BE SEEN THERE + +CHAPTER X +WHEREIN IS RELATED THE CRAFTY DEVICE SANCHO ADOPTED TO ENCHANT THE +LADY DULCINEA, AND OTHER INCIDENTS AS LUDICROUS AS THEY ARE TRUE + +CHAPTER XI +OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURE WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE HAD WITH +THE CAR OR CART OF "THE CORTES OF DEATH" + +CHAPTER XII +OF THE STRANGE ADVENTURE WHICH BEFELL THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE WITH +THE BOLD KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS + +CHAPTER XIII +IN WHICH IS CONTINUED THE ADVENTURE OF THE KNIGHT OF THE GROVE, +TOGETHER WITH THE SENSIBLE, ORIGINAL, AND TRANQUIL COLLOQUY THAT +PASSED BETWEEN THE TWO SQUIRES + +CHAPTER XIV +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ADVENTURE OF THE KNIGHT OF THE GROVE + +CHAPTER XV +WHEREIN IT IS TOLD AND KNOWN WHO THE KNIGHT OF THE MIRRORS AND HIS +SQUIRE WERE + +CHAPTER XVI +OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH A DISCREET GENTLEMAN OF LA MANCHA + +CHAPTER XVII +WHEREIN IS SHOWN THE FURTHEST AND HIGHEST POINT WHICH THE UNEXAMPLED +COURAGE OF DON QUIXOTE REACHED OR COULD REACH; TOGETHER WITH THE +HAPPILY ACHIEVED ADVENTURE OF THE LIONS + +CHAPTER XVIII +OF WHAT HAPPENED DON QUIXOTE IN THE CASTLE OR HOUSE OF THE KNIGHT OF +THE GREEN GABAN, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MATTERS OUT OF THE COMMON + +CHAPTER XIX +IN WHICH IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE ENAMOURED SHEPHERD, +TOGETHER WITH OTHER TRULY DROLL INCIDENTS + +CHAPTER XX +WHEREIN AN ACCOUNT IS GIVEN OF THE WEDDING OF CAMACHO THE RICH, +TOGETHER WITH THE INCIDENT OF BASILIO THE POOR + +CHAPTER XXI +IN WHICH CAMACHO'S WEDDING IS CONTINUED, WITH OTHER DELIGHTFUL INCIDENTS + +CHAPTER XXII +WHERIN IS RELATED THE GRAND ADVENTURE OF THE CAVE OF MONTESINOS IN +THE HEART OF LA MANCHA, WHICH THE VALIANT DON QUIXOTE BROUGHT TO A +HAPPY TERMINATION + +CHAPTER XXIII +OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS THE INCOMPARABLE DON QUIXOTE SAID HE SAW +IN THE PROFOUND CAVE OF MONTESINOS, THE IMPOSSIBILITY AND MAGNITUDE OF +WHICH CAUSE THIS ADVENTURE TO BE DEEMED APOCRYPHAL + +CHAPTER XXIV +WHEREIN ARE RELATED A THOUSAND TRIFLING MATTERS, AS TRIVIAL AS +THEY ARE NECESSARY TO THE RIGHT UNDERSTANDING OF THIS GREAT HISTORY + +CHAPTER XXV +WHEREIN IS SET DOWN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, AND THE DROLL ONE OF +THE PUPPET-SHOWMAN, TOGETHER WITH THE MEMORABLE DIVINATIONS OF THE +DIVINING APE + +CHAPTER XXVI +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE DROLL ADVENTURE OF THE PUPPET-SHOWMAN, +TOGETHER WITH OTHER THINGS IN TRUTH RIGHT GOOD + +CHAPTER XXVII +WHEREIN IT IS SHOWN WHO MASTER PEDRO AND HIS APE WERE, TOGETHER WITH +THE MISHAP DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, WHICH HE DID +NOT CONCLUDE AS HE WOULD HAVE LIKED OR AS HE HAD EXPECTED + +CHAPTER XXVIII +OF MATTERS THAT BENENGELI SAYS HE WHO READS THEM WILL KNOW, IF HE +READS THEM WITH ATTENTION + +CHAPTER XXIX +OF THE FAMOUS ADVENTURE OF THE ENCHANTED BARK + +CHAPTER XXX +OF DON QUIXOTE'S ADVENTURE WITH A FAIR HUNTRESS + +CHAPTER XXXI +WHICH TREATS OF MANY AND GREAT MATTERS + +CHAPTER XXXII +OF THE REPLY DON QUIXOTE GAVE HIS CENSURER, WITH OTHER INCIDENTS, +GRAVE AND DROLL + +CHAPTER XXXIII +OF THE DELECTABLE DISCOURSE WHICH THE DUCHESS AND HER DAMSELS HELD +WITH SANCHO PANZA, WELL WORTH READING AND NOTING + +CHAPTER XXXIV +WHICH RELATES HOW THEY LEARNED THE WAY IN WHICH THEY WERE TO +DISENCHANT THE PEERLESS DULCINEA DEL TOBOSO, WHICH IS ONE OF THE +RAREST ADVENTURES IN THIS BOOK + +CHAPTER XXXV +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE INSTRUCTION GIVEN TO DON QUIXOTE TOUCHING +THE DISENCHANTMENT OF DULCINEA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MARVELLOUS INCIDENTS + +CHAPTER XXXVI +WHEREIN IS RELATED THE STRANGE AND UNDREAMT-OF ADVENTURE OF THE +DISTRESSED DUENNA, ALIAS THE COUNTESS TRIFALDI, TOGETHER WITH A LETTER +WHICH SANCHO PANZA WROTE TO HIS WIFE, TERESA PANZA + +CHAPTER XXXVII +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE NOTABLE ADVENTURE OF THE DISTRESSED DUENNA + +CHAPTER XXXVIII +WHEREIN IS TOLD THE DISTRESSED DUENNA'S TALE OF HER MISFORTUNES + +CHAPTER XXXIX +IN WHICH THE TRIFALDI CONTINUES HER MARVELLOUS AND MEMORABLE STORY + +CHAPTER XL +OF MATTERS RELATING AND BELONGING TO THIS ADVENTURE AND TO THIS +MEMORABLE HISTORY + +CHAPTER XLI +OF THE ARRIVAL OF CLAVILENO AND THE END OF THIS PROTRACTED ADVENTURE + +CHAPTER XLII +OF THE COUNSELS WHICH DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA BEFORE HE SET +OUT TO GOVERN THE ISLAND, TOGETHER WITH OTHER WELL-CONSIDERED MATTERS + +CHAPTER XLIII +OF THE SECOND SET OF COUNSELS DON QUIXOTE GAVE SANCHO PANZA + +CHAPTER XLIV +HOW SANCHO PANZA WAS CONDUCTED TO HIS GOVERNMENT, AND OF THE STRANGE +ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE IN THE CASTLE + +CHAPTER XLV +OF HOW THE GREAT SANCHO PANZA TOOK POSSESSION OF HIS ISLAND, AND +OF HOW HE MADE A BEGINNING IN GOVERNING + +CHAPTER XLVI +OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THE +COURSE OF THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA'S WOOING + +CHAPTER XLVII +WHEREIN IS CONTINUED THE ACCOUNT OF HOW SANCHO PANZA CONDUCTED +HIMSELF IN HIS GOVERNMENT + +CHAPTER XLVIII +OF WHAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE WITH DONA RODRIGUEZ, THE DUCHESS'S +DUENNA, TOGETHER WITH OTHER OCCURRENCES WORTHY OF RECORD AND ETERNAL +REMEMBRANCE + +CHAPTER XLIX +OF WHAT HAPPENED SANCHO IN MAKING THE ROUND OF HIS ISLAND + +CHAPTER L +WHEREIN IS SET FORTH WHO THE ENCHANTERS AND EXECUTIONERS WERE WHO +FLOGGED THE DUENNA AND PINCHED DON QUIXOTE, AND ALSO WHAT BEFELL THE +PAGE WHO CARRIED THE LETTER TO TERESA PANZA, SANCHO PANZA'S WIFE + +CHAPTER LI +OF THE PROGRESS OF SANCHO'S GOVERNMENT, AND OTHER SUCH +ENTERTAINING MATTERS + +CHAPTER LII +WHEREIN IS RELATED THE ADVENTURE OF THE SECOND DISTRESSED OR +AFFLICTED DUENNA, OTHERWISE CALLED DONA RODRIGUEZ + +CHAPTER LIII +OF THE TROUBLOUS END AND TERMINATION SANCHO PANZA'S GOVERNMENT CAME TO + +CHAPTER LIV +WHICH DEALS WITH MATTERS RELATING TO THIS HISTORY AND NO OTHER + +CHAPTER LV +OF WHAT BEFELL SANCHO ON THE ROAD, AND OTHER THINGS THAT CANNOT BE +SURPASSED + +CHAPTER LVI +OF THE PRODIGIOUS AND UNPARALLELED BATTLE THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN +DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA AND THE LACQUEY TOSILOS IN DEFENCE OF THE +DAUGHTER OF DONA RODRIGUEZ + +CHAPTER LVII +WHICH TREATS OF HOW DON QUIXOTE TOOK LEAVE OF THE DUKE, AND OF +WHAT FOLLOWED WITH THE WITTY AND IMPUDENT ALTISIDORA, ONE OF THE +DUCHESS'S DAMSELS + +CHAPTER LVIII +WHICH TELLS HOW ADVENTURES CAME CROWDING ON DON QUIXOTE IN SUCH +NUMBERS THAT THEY GAVE ONE ANOTHER NO BREATHING-TIME + +CHAPTER LIX +WHEREIN IS RELATED THE STRANGE THING, WHICH MAY BE REGARDED AS AN +ADVENTURE, THAT HAPPENED DON QUIXOTE + +CHAPTER LX +OF WHAT HAPPENED DON QUIXOTE ON HIS WAY TO BARCELONA + +CHAPTER LXI +OF WHAT HAPPENED DON QUIXOTE ON ENTERING BARCELONA, TOGETHER WITH +OTHER MATTERS THAT PARTAKE OF THE TRUE RATHER THAN OF THE INGENIOUS + +CHAPTER LXII +WHICH DEALS WITH THE ADVENTURE OF THE ENCHANTED HEAD, TOGETHER +WITH OTHER TRIVIAL MATTERS WHICH CANNOT BE LEFT UNTOLD + +CHAPTER LXIII +OF THE MISHAP THAT BEFELL SANCHO PANZA THROUGH THE VISIT TO THE +GALLEYS, AND THE STRANGE ADVENTURE OF THE FAIR MORISCO + +CHAPTER LXIV +TREATING OF THE ADVENTURE WHICH GAVE DON QUIXOTE MORE UNHAPPINESS +THAN ALL THAT HAD HITHERTO BEFALLEN HIM + +CHAPTER LXV +WHEREIN IS MADE KNOWN WHO THE KNIGHT OF THE WHITE MOON WAS; LIKEWISE +DON GREGORIO'S RELEASE, AND OTHER EVENTS + +CHAPTER LXVI +WHICH TREATS OF WHAT HE WHO READS WILL SEE, OR WHAT HE WHO HAS IT +READ TO HIM WILL HEAR + +CHAPTER LXVII +OF THE RESOLUTION DON QUIXOTE FORMED TO TURN SHEPHERD AND TAKE TO +A LIFE IN THE FIELDS WHILE THE YEAR FOR WHICH HE HAD GIVEN HIS WORD +WAS RUNNING ITS COURSE; WITH OTHER EVENTS TRULY DELECTABLE AND HAPPY + +CHAPTER LXVIII +OF THE BRISTLY ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON QUIXOTE + +CHAPTER LXIX +OF THE STRANGEST AND MOST EXTRAORDINARY ADVENTURE THAT BEFELL DON +QUIXOTE IN THE WHOLE COURSE OF THIS GREAT HISTORY + +CHAPTER LXX +WHICH FOLLOWS SIXTY-NINE AND DEALS WITH MATTERS INDISPENSABLE FOR +THE CLEAR COMPREHENSION OF THIS HISTORY + +CHAPTER LXXI +OF WHAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE AND HIS SQUIRE SANCHO ON THE +WAY TO THEIR VILLAGE + +CHAPTER LXXII +OF HOW DON QUIXOTE AND SANCHO REACHED THEIR VILLAGE + +CHAPTER LXXIII +OF THE OMENS DON QUIXOTE HAD AS HE ENTERED HIS OWN VILLAGE, AND +OTHER INCIDENTS THAT EMBELLISH AND GIVE A COLOUR TO THIS GREAT HISTORY + +CHAPTER LXXIV +OF HOW DON QUIXOTE FELL SICK, AND OF THE WILL HE MADE, AND HOW HE DIED + + + + +DON QUIXOTE + + +PART II. + + +DEDICATION OF PART II. + +TO THE COUNT OF LEMOS: + +These days past, when sending Your Excellency my plays, that had appeared +in print before being shown on the stage, I said, if I remember well, +that Don Quixote was putting on his spurs to go and render homage to Your +Excellency. Now I say that "with his spurs, he is on his way." Should he +reach destination methinks I shall have rendered some service to Your +Excellency, as from many parts I am urged to send him off, so as to +dispel the loathing and disgust caused by another Don Quixote who, under +the name of Second Part, has run masquerading through the whole world. +And he who has shown the greatest longing for him has been the great +Emperor of China, who wrote me a letter in Chinese a month ago and sent +it by a special courier. He asked me, or to be truthful, he begged me to +send him Don Quixote, for he intended to found a college where the +Spanish tongue would be taught, and it was his wish that the book to be +read should be the History of Don Quixote. He also added that I should go +and be the rector of this college. I asked the bearer if His Majesty had +afforded a sum in aid of my travel expenses. He answered, "No, not even +in thought." + +"Then, brother," I replied, "you can return to your China, post haste or +at whatever haste you are bound to go, as I am not fit for so long a +travel and, besides being ill, I am very much without money, while +Emperor for Emperor and Monarch for Monarch, I have at Naples the great +Count of Lemos, who, without so many petty titles of colleges and +rectorships, sustains me, protects me and does me more favour than I can +wish for." + +Thus I gave him his leave and I beg mine from you, offering Your +Excellency the "Trabajos de Persiles y Sigismunda," a book I shall finish +within four months, Deo volente, and which will be either the worst or +the best that has been composed in our language, I mean of those intended +for entertainment; at which I repent of having called it the worst, for, +in the opinion of friends, it is bound to attain the summit of possible +quality. May Your Excellency return in such health that is wished you; +Persiles will be ready to kiss your hand and I your feet, being as I am, +Your Excellency's most humble servant. + +From Madrid, this last day of October of the year one thousand six +hundred and fifteen. + +At the service of Your Excellency: + +MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA + + + + +THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE + +God bless me, gentle (or it may be plebeian) reader, how eagerly must +thou be looking forward to this preface, expecting to find there +retaliation, scolding, and abuse against the author of the second Don +Quixote--I mean him who was, they say, begotten at Tordesillas and born +at Tarragona! Well then, the truth is, I am not going to give thee that +satisfaction; for, though injuries stir up anger in humbler breasts, in +mine the rule must admit of an exception. Thou wouldst have me call him +ass, fool, and malapert, but I have no such intention; let his offence be +his punishment, with his bread let him eat it, and there's an end of it. +What I cannot help taking amiss is that he charges me with being old and +one-handed, as if it had been in my power to keep time from passing over +me, or as if the loss of my hand had been brought about in some tavern, +and not on the grandest occasion the past or present has seen, or the +future can hope to see. If my wounds have no beauty to the beholder's +eye, they are, at least, honourable in the estimation of those who know +where they were received; for the soldier shows to greater advantage dead +in battle than alive in flight; and so strongly is this my feeling, that +if now it were proposed to perform an impossibility for me, I would +rather have had my share in that mighty action, than be free from my +wounds this minute without having been present at it. Those the soldier +shows on his face and breast are stars that direct others to the heaven +of honour and ambition of merited praise; and moreover it is to be +observed that it is not with grey hairs that one writes, but with the +understanding, and that commonly improves with years. I take it amiss, +too, that he calls me envious, and explains to me, as if I were ignorant, +what envy is; for really and truly, of the two kinds there are, I only +know that which is holy, noble, and high-minded; and if that be so, as it +is, I am not likely to attack a priest, above all if, in addition, he +holds the rank of familiar of the Holy Office. And if he said what he did +on account of him on whose behalf it seems he spoke, he is entirely +mistaken; for I worship the genius of that person, and admire his works +and his unceasing and strenuous industry. After all, I am grateful to +this gentleman, the author, for saying that my novels are more satirical +than exemplary, but that they are good; for they could not be that unless +there was a little of everything in them. + +I suspect thou wilt say that I am taking a very humble line, and keeping +myself too much within the bounds of my moderation, from a feeling that +additional suffering should not be inflicted upon a sufferer, and that +what this gentleman has to endure must doubtless be very great, as he +does not dare to come out into the open field and broad daylight, but +hides his name and disguises his country as if he had been guilty of some +lese majesty. If perchance thou shouldst come to know him, tell him from +me that I do not hold myself aggrieved; for I know well what the +temptations of the devil are, and that one of the greatest is putting it +into a man's head that he can write and print a book by which he will get +as much fame as money, and as much money as fame; and to prove it I will +beg of you, in your own sprightly, pleasant way, to tell him this story. + +There was a madman in Seville who took to one of the drollest absurdities +and vagaries that ever madman in the world gave way to. It was this: he +made a tube of reed sharp at one end, and catching a dog in the street, +or wherever it might be, he with his foot held one of its legs fast, and +with his hand lifted up the other, and as best he could fixed the tube +where, by blowing, he made the dog as round as a ball; then holding it in +this position, he gave it a couple of slaps on the belly, and let it go, +saying to the bystanders (and there were always plenty of them): "Do your +worships think, now, that it is an easy thing to blow up a dog?"--Does +your worship think now, that it is an easy thing to write a book? + +And if this story does not suit him, you may, dear reader, tell him this +one, which is likewise of a madman and a dog. + +In Cordova there was another madman, whose way it was to carry a piece of +marble slab or a stone, not of the lightest, on his head, and when he +came upon any unwary dog he used to draw close to him and let the weight +fall right on top of him; on which the dog in a rage, barking and +howling, would run three streets without stopping. It so happened, +however, that one of the dogs he discharged his load upon was a +cap-maker's dog, of which his master was very fond. The stone came down +hitting it on the head, the dog raised a yell at the blow, the master saw +the affair and was wroth, and snatching up a measuring-yard rushed out at +the madman and did not leave a sound bone in his body, and at every +stroke he gave him he said, "You dog, you thief! my lurcher! Don't you +see, you brute, that my dog is a lurcher?" and so, repeating the word +"lurcher" again and again, he sent the madman away beaten to a jelly. The +madman took the lesson to heart, and vanished, and for more than a month +never once showed himself in public; but after that he came out again +with his old trick and a heavier load than ever. He came up to where +there was a dog, and examining it very carefully without venturing to let +the stone fall, he said: "This is a lurcher; ware!" In short, all the +dogs he came across, be they mastiffs or terriers, he said were lurchers; +and he discharged no more stones. Maybe it will be the same with this +historian; that he will not venture another time to discharge the weight +of his wit in books, which, being bad, are harder than stones. Tell him, +too, that I do not care a farthing for the threat he holds out to me of +depriving me of my profit by means of his book; for, to borrow from the +famous interlude of "The Perendenga," I say in answer to him, "Long life +to my lord the Veintiquatro, and Christ be with us all." Long life to the +great Conde de Lemos, whose Christian charity and well-known generosity +support me against all the strokes of my curst fortune; and long life to +the supreme benevolence of His Eminence of Toledo, Don Bernardo de +Sandoval y Rojas; and what matter if there be no printing-presses in the +world, or if they print more books against me than there are letters in +the verses of Mingo Revulgo! These two princes, unsought by any adulation +or flattery of mine, of their own goodness alone, have taken it upon them +to show me kindness and protect me, and in this I consider myself happier +and richer than if Fortune had raised me to her greatest height in the +ordinary way. The poor man may retain honour, but not the vicious; +poverty may cast a cloud over nobility, but cannot hide it altogether; +and as virtue of itself sheds a certain light, even though it be through +the straits and chinks of penury, it wins the esteem of lofty and noble +spirits, and in consequence their protection. Thou needst say no more to +him, nor will I say anything more to thee, save to tell thee to bear in +mind that this Second Part of "Don Quixote" which I offer thee is cut by +the same craftsman and from the same cloth as the First, and that in it I +present thee Don Quixote continued, and at length dead and buried, so +that no one may dare to bring forward any further evidence against him, +for that already produced is sufficient; and suffice it, too, that some +reputable person should have given an account of all these shrewd +lunacies of his without going into the matter again; for abundance, even +of good things, prevents them from being valued; and scarcity, even in +the case of what is bad, confers a certain value. I was forgetting to +tell thee that thou mayest expect the "Persiles," which I am now +finishing, and also the Second Part of "Galatea." + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +OF THE INTERVIEW THE CURATE AND THE BARBER HAD WITH DON QUIXOTE ABOUT HIS +MALADY + + +Cide Hamete Benengeli, in the Second Part of this history, and third +sally of Don Quixote, says that the curate and the barber remained nearly +a month without seeing him, lest they should recall or bring back to his +recollection what had taken place. They did not, however, omit to visit +his niece and housekeeper, and charge them to be careful to treat him +with attention, and give him comforting things to eat, and such as were +good for the heart and the brain, whence, it was plain to see, all his +misfortune proceeded. The niece and housekeeper replied that they did so, +and meant to do so with all possible care and assiduity, for they could +perceive that their master was now and then beginning to show signs of +being in his right mind. This gave great satisfaction to the curate and +the barber, for they concluded they had taken the right course in +carrying him off enchanted on the ox-cart, as has been described in the +First Part of this great as well as accurate history, in the last chapter +thereof. So they resolved to pay him a visit and test the improvement in +his condition, although they thought it almost impossible that there +could be any; and they agreed not to touch upon any point connected with +knight-errantry so as not to run the risk of reopening wounds which were +still so tender. + +They came to see him consequently, and found him sitting up in bed in a +green baize waistcoat and a red Toledo cap, and so withered and dried up +that he looked as if he had been turned into a mummy. They were very +cordially received by him; they asked him after his health, and he talked +to them about himself very naturally and in very well-chosen language. In +the course of their conversation they fell to discussing what they call +State-craft and systems of government, correcting this abuse and +condemning that, reforming one practice and abolishing another, each of +the three setting up for a new legislator, a modern Lycurgus, or a +brand-new Solon; and so completely did they remodel the State, that they +seemed to have thrust it into a furnace and taken out something quite +different from what they had put in; and on all the subjects they dealt +with, Don Quixote spoke with such good sense that the pair of examiners +were fully convinced that he was quite recovered and in his full senses. + +The niece and housekeeper were present at the conversation and could not +find words enough to express their thanks to God at seeing their master +so clear in his mind; the curate, however, changing his original plan, +which was to avoid touching upon matters of chivalry, resolved to test +Don Quixote's recovery thoroughly, and see whether it were genuine or +not; and so, from one subject to another, he came at last to talk of the +news that had come from the capital, and, among other things, he said it +was considered certain that the Turk was coming down with a powerful +fleet, and that no one knew what his purpose was, or when the great storm +would burst; and that all Christendom was in apprehension of this, which +almost every year calls us to arms, and that his Majesty had made +provision for the security of the coasts of Naples and Sicily and the +island of Malta. + +To this Don Quixote replied, "His Majesty has acted like a prudent +warrior in providing for the safety of his realms in time, so that the +enemy may not find him unprepared; but if my advice were taken I would +recommend him to adopt a measure which at present, no doubt, his Majesty +is very far from thinking of." + +The moment the curate heard this he said to himself, "God keep thee in +his hand, poor Don Quixote, for it seems to me thou art precipitating +thyself from the height of thy madness into the profound abyss of thy +simplicity." + +But the barber, who had the same suspicion as the curate, asked Don +Quixote what would be his advice as to the measures that he said ought to +be adopted; for perhaps it might prove to be one that would have to be +added to the list of the many impertinent suggestions that people were in +the habit of offering to princes. + +"Mine, master shaver," said Don Quixote, "will not be impertinent, but, +on the contrary, pertinent." + +"I don't mean that," said the barber, "but that experience has shown that +all or most of the expedients which are proposed to his Majesty are +either impossible, or absurd, or injurious to the King and to the +kingdom." + +"Mine, however," replied Don Quixote, "is neither impossible nor absurd, +but the easiest, the most reasonable, the readiest and most expeditious +that could suggest itself to any projector's mind." + +"You take a long time to tell it, Senor Don Quixote," said the curate. + +"I don't choose to tell it here, now," said Don Quixote, "and have it +reach the ears of the lords of the council to-morrow morning, and some +other carry off the thanks and rewards of my trouble." + +"For my part," said the barber, "I give my word here and before God that +I will not repeat what your worship says, to King, Rook or earthly +man--an oath I learned from the ballad of the curate, who, in the +prelude, told the king of the thief who had robbed him of the hundred +gold crowns and his pacing mule." + +"I am not versed in stories," said Don Quixote; "but I know the oath is a +good one, because I know the barber to be an honest fellow." + +"Even if he were not," said the curate, "I will go bail and answer for +him that in this matter he will be as silent as a dummy, under pain of +paying any penalty that may be pronounced." + +"And who will be security for you, senor curate?" said Don Quixote. + +"My profession," replied the curate, "which is to keep secrets." + +"Ods body!" said Don Quixote at this, "what more has his Majesty to do +but to command, by public proclamation, all the knights-errant that are +scattered over Spain to assemble on a fixed day in the capital, for even +if no more than half a dozen come, there may be one among them who alone +will suffice to destroy the entire might of the Turk. Give me your +attention and follow me. Is it, pray, any new thing for a single +knight-errant to demolish an army of two hundred thousand men, as if they +all had but one throat or were made of sugar paste? Nay, tell me, how +many histories are there filled with these marvels? If only (in an evil +hour for me: I don't speak for anyone else) the famous Don Belianis were +alive now, or any one of the innumerable progeny of Amadis of Gaul! If +any these were alive today, and were to come face to face with the Turk, +by my faith, I would not give much for the Turk's chance. But God will +have regard for his people, and will provide some one, who, if not so +valiant as the knights-errant of yore, at least will not be inferior to +them in spirit; but God knows what I mean, and I say no more." + +"Alas!" exclaimed the niece at this, "may I die if my master does not +want to turn knight-errant again;" to which Don Quixote replied, "A +knight-errant I shall die, and let the Turk come down or go up when he +likes, and in as strong force as he can, once more I say, God knows what +I mean." But here the barber said, "I ask your worships to give me leave +to tell a short story of something that happened in Seville, which comes +so pat to the purpose just now that I should like greatly to tell it." +Don Quixote gave him leave, and the rest prepared to listen, and he began +thus: + +"In the madhouse at Seville there was a man whom his relations had placed +there as being out of his mind. He was a graduate of Osuna in canon law; +but even if he had been of Salamanca, it was the opinion of most people +that he would have been mad all the same. This graduate, after some years +of confinement, took it into his head that he was sane and in his full +senses, and under this impression wrote to the Archbishop, entreating him +earnestly, and in very correct language, to have him released from the +misery in which he was living; for by God's mercy he had now recovered +his lost reason, though his relations, in order to enjoy his property, +kept him there, and, in spite of the truth, would make him out to be mad +until his dying day. The Archbishop, moved by repeated sensible, +well-written letters, directed one of his chaplains to make inquiry of +the madhouse as to the truth of the licentiate's statements, and to have +an interview with the madman himself, and, if it should appear that he +was in his senses, to take him out and restore him to liberty. The +chaplain did so, and the governor assured him that the man was still mad, +and that though he often spoke like a highly intelligent person, he would +in the end break out into nonsense that in quantity and quality +counterbalanced all the sensible things he had said before, as might be +easily tested by talking to him. The chaplain resolved to try the +experiment, and obtaining access to the madman conversed with him for an +hour or more, during the whole of which time he never uttered a word that +was incoherent or absurd, but, on the contrary, spoke so rationally that +the chaplain was compelled to believe him to be sane. Among other things, +he said the governor was against him, not to lose the presents his +relations made him for reporting him still mad but with lucid intervals; +and that the worst foe he had in his misfortune was his large property; +for in order to enjoy it his enemies disparaged and threw doubts upon the +mercy our Lord had shown him in turning him from a brute beast into a +man. In short, he spoke in such a way that he cast suspicion on the +governor, and made his relations appear covetous and heartless, and +himself so rational that the chaplain determined to take him away with +him that the Archbishop might see him, and ascertain for himself the +truth of the matter. Yielding to this conviction, the worthy chaplain +begged the governor to have the clothes in which the licentiate had +entered the house given to him. The governor again bade him beware of +what he was doing, as the licentiate was beyond a doubt still mad; but +all his cautions and warnings were unavailing to dissuade the chaplain +from taking him away. The governor, seeing that it was the order of the +Archbishop, obeyed, and they dressed the licentiate in his own clothes, +which were new and decent. He, as soon as he saw himself clothed like one +in his senses, and divested of the appearance of a madman, entreated the +chaplain to permit him in charity to go and take leave of his comrades +the madmen. The chaplain said he would go with him to see what madmen +there were in the house; so they went upstairs, and with them some of +those who were present. Approaching a cage in which there was a furious +madman, though just at that moment calm and quiet, the licentiate said to +him, 'Brother, think if you have any commands for me, for I am going +home, as God has been pleased, in his infinite goodness and mercy, +without any merit of mine, to restore me my reason. I am now cured and in +my senses, for with God's power nothing is impossible. Have strong hope +and trust in him, for as he has restored me to my original condition, so +likewise he will restore you if you trust in him. I will take care to +send you some good things to eat; and be sure you eat them; for I would +have you know I am convinced, as one who has gone through it, that all +this madness of ours comes of having the stomach empty and the brains +full of wind. Take courage! take courage! for despondency in misfortune +breaks down health and brings on death.' + +"To all these words of the licentiate another madman in a cage opposite +that of the furious one was listening; and raising himself up from an old +mat on which he lay stark naked, he asked in a loud voice who it was that +was going away cured and in his senses. The licentiate answered, 'It is +I, brother, who am going; I have now no need to remain here any longer, +for which I return infinite thanks to Heaven that has had so great mercy +upon me.' + +"'Mind what you are saying, licentiate; don't let the devil deceive you,' +replied the madman. 'Keep quiet, stay where you are, and you will save +yourself the trouble of coming back.' + +"'I know I am cured,' returned the licentiate, 'and that I shall not have +to go stations again.' + +"'You cured!' said the madman; 'well, we shall see; God be with you; but +I swear to you by Jupiter, whose majesty I represent on earth, that for +this crime alone, which Seville is committing to-day in releasing you +from this house, and treating you as if you were in your senses, I shall +have to inflict such a punishment on it as will be remembered for ages +and ages, amen. Dost thou not know, thou miserable little licentiate, +that I can do it, being, as I say, Jupiter the Thunderer, who hold in my +hands the fiery bolts with which I am able and am wont to threaten and +lay waste the world? But in one way only will I punish this ignorant +town, and that is by not raining upon it, nor on any part of its district +or territory, for three whole years, to be reckoned from the day and +moment when this threat is pronounced. Thou free, thou cured, thou in thy +senses! and I mad, I disordered, I bound! I will as soon think of sending +rain as of hanging myself. + +"Those present stood listening to the words and exclamations of the +madman; but our licentiate, turning to the chaplain and seizing him by +the hands, said to him, 'Be not uneasy, senor; attach no importance to +what this madman has said; for if he is Jupiter and will not send rain, +I, who am Neptune, the father and god of the waters, will rain as often +as it pleases me and may be needful.' + +"The governor and the bystanders laughed, and at their laughter the +chaplain was half ashamed, and he replied, 'For all that, Senor Neptune, +it will not do to vex Senor Jupiter; remain where you are, and some other +day, when there is a better opportunity and more time, we will come back +for you.' So they stripped the licentiate, and he was left where he was; +and that's the end of the story." + +"So that's the story, master barber," said Don Quixote, "which came in so +pat to the purpose that you could not help telling it? Master shaver, +master shaver! how blind is he who cannot see through a sieve. Is it +possible that you do not know that comparisons of wit with wit, valour +with valour, beauty with beauty, birth with birth, are always odious and +unwelcome? I, master barber, am not Neptune, the god of the waters, nor +do I try to make anyone take me for an astute man, for I am not one. My +only endeavour is to convince the world of the mistake it makes in not +reviving in itself the happy time when the order of knight-errantry was +in the field. But our depraved age does not deserve to enjoy such a +blessing as those ages enjoyed when knights-errant took upon their +shoulders the defence of kingdoms, the protection of damsels, the succour +of orphans and minors, the chastisement of the proud, and the recompense +of the humble. With the knights of these days, for the most part, it is +the damask, brocade, and rich stuffs they wear, that rustle as they go, +not the chain mail of their armour; no knight now-a-days sleeps in the +open field exposed to the inclemency of heaven, and in full panoply from +head to foot; no one now takes a nap, as they call it, without drawing +his feet out of the stirrups, and leaning upon his lance, as the +knights-errant used to do; no one now, issuing from the wood, penetrates +yonder mountains, and then treads the barren, lonely shore of the +sea--mostly a tempestuous and stormy one--and finding on the beach a +little bark without oars, sail, mast, or tackling of any kind, in the +intrepidity of his heart flings himself into it and commits himself to +the wrathful billows of the deep sea, that one moment lift him up to +heaven and the next plunge him into the depths; and opposing his breast +to the irresistible gale, finds himself, when he least expects it, three +thousand leagues and more away from the place where he embarked; and +leaping ashore in a remote and unknown land has adventures that deserve +to be written, not on parchment, but on brass. But now sloth triumphs +over energy, indolence over exertion, vice over virtue, arrogance over +courage, and theory over practice in arms, which flourished and shone +only in the golden ages and in knights-errant. For tell me, who was more +virtuous and more valiant than the famous Amadis of Gaul? Who more +discreet than Palmerin of England? Who more gracious and easy than +Tirante el Blanco? Who more courtly than Lisuarte of Greece? Who more +slashed or slashing than Don Belianis? Who more intrepid than Perion of +Gaul? Who more ready to face danger than Felixmarte of Hircania? Who more +sincere than Esplandian? Who more impetuous than Don Cirongilio of +Thrace? Who more bold than Rodamonte? Who more prudent than King Sobrino? +Who more daring than Reinaldos? Who more invincible than Roland? and who +more gallant and courteous than Ruggiero, from whom the dukes of Ferrara +of the present day are descended, according to Turpin in his +'Cosmography.' All these knights, and many more that I could name, senor +curate, were knights-errant, the light and glory of chivalry. These, or +such as these, I would have to carry out my plan, and in that case his +Majesty would find himself well served and would save great expense, and +the Turk would be left tearing his beard. And so I will stay where I am, +as the chaplain does not take me away; and if Jupiter, as the barber has +told us, will not send rain, here am I, and I will rain when I please. I +say this that Master Basin may know that I understand him." + +"Indeed, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber, "I did not mean it in that +way, and, so help me God, my intention was good, and your worship ought +not to be vexed." + +"As to whether I ought to be vexed or not," returned Don Quixote, "I +myself am the best judge." + +Hereupon the curate observed, "I have hardly said a word as yet; and I +would gladly be relieved of a doubt, arising from what Don Quixote has +said, that worries and works my conscience." + +"The senor curate has leave for more than that," returned Don Quixote, +"so he may declare his doubt, for it is not pleasant to have a doubt on +one's conscience." + +"Well then, with that permission," said the curate, "I say my doubt is +that, all I can do, I cannot persuade myself that the whole pack of +knights-errant you, Senor Don Quixote, have mentioned, were really and +truly persons of flesh and blood, that ever lived in the world; on the +contrary, I suspect it to be all fiction, fable, and falsehood, and +dreams told by men awakened from sleep, or rather still half asleep." + +"That is another mistake," replied Don Quixote, "into which many have +fallen who do not believe that there ever were such knights in the world, +and I have often, with divers people and on divers occasions, tried to +expose this almost universal error to the light of truth. Sometimes I +have not been successful in my purpose, sometimes I have, supporting it +upon the shoulders of the truth; which truth is so clear that I can +almost say I have with my own eyes seen Amadis of Gaul, who was a man of +lofty stature, fair complexion, with a handsome though black beard, of a +countenance between gentle and stern in expression, sparing of words, +slow to anger, and quick to put it away from him; and as I have depicted +Amadis, so I could, I think, portray and describe all the knights-errant +that are in all the histories in the world; for by the perception I have +that they were what their histories describe, and by the deeds they did +and the dispositions they displayed, it is possible, with the aid of +sound philosophy, to deduce their features, complexion, and stature." + +"How big, in your worship's opinion, may the giant Morgante have been, +Senor Don Quixote?" asked the barber. + +"With regard to giants," replied Don Quixote, "opinions differ as to +whether there ever were any or not in the world; but the Holy Scripture, +which cannot err by a jot from the truth, shows us that there were, when +it gives us the history of that big Philistine, Goliath, who was seven +cubits and a half in height, which is a huge size. Likewise, in the +island of Sicily, there have been found leg-bones and arm-bones so large +that their size makes it plain that their owners were giants, and as tall +as great towers; geometry puts this fact beyond a doubt. But, for all +that, I cannot speak with certainty as to the size of Morgante, though I +suspect he cannot have been very tall; and I am inclined to be of this +opinion because I find in the history in which his deeds are particularly +mentioned, that he frequently slept under a roof and as he found houses +to contain him, it is clear that his bulk could not have been anything +excessive." + +"That is true," said the curate, and yielding to the enjoyment of hearing +such nonsense, he asked him what was his notion of the features of +Reinaldos of Montalban, and Don Roland and the rest of the Twelve Peers +of France, for they were all knights-errant. + +"As for Reinaldos," replied Don Quixote, "I venture to say that he was +broad-faced, of ruddy complexion, with roguish and somewhat prominent +eyes, excessively punctilious and touchy, and given to the society of +thieves and scapegraces. With regard to Roland, or Rotolando, or Orlando +(for the histories call him by all these names), I am of opinion, and +hold, that he was of middle height, broad-shouldered, rather bow-legged, +swarthy-complexioned, red-bearded, with a hairy body and a severe +expression of countenance, a man of few words, but very polite and +well-bred." + +"If Roland was not a more graceful person than your worship has +described," said the curate, "it is no wonder that the fair Lady Angelica +rejected him and left him for the gaiety, liveliness, and grace of that +budding-bearded little Moor to whom she surrendered herself; and she +showed her sense in falling in love with the gentle softness of Medoro +rather than the roughness of Roland." + +"That Angelica, senor curate," returned Don Quixote, "was a giddy damsel, +flighty and somewhat wanton, and she left the world as full of her +vagaries as of the fame of her beauty. She treated with scorn a thousand +gentlemen, men of valour and wisdom, and took up with a smooth-faced +sprig of a page, without fortune or fame, except such reputation for +gratitude as the affection he bore his friend got for him. The great poet +who sang her beauty, the famous Ariosto, not caring to sing her +adventures after her contemptible surrender (which probably were not over +and above creditable), dropped her where he says: + +How she received the sceptre of Cathay, +Some bard of defter quill may sing some day; + +and this was no doubt a kind of prophecy, for poets are also called +vates, that is to say diviners; and its truth was made plain; for since +then a famous Andalusian poet has lamented and sung her tears, and +another famous and rare poet, a Castilian, has sung her beauty." + +"Tell me, Senor Don Quixote," said the barber here, "among all those who +praised her, has there been no poet to write a satire on this Lady +Angelica?" + +"I can well believe," replied Don Quixote, "that if Sacripante or Roland +had been poets they would have given the damsel a trimming; for it is +naturally the way with poets who have been scorned and rejected by their +ladies, whether fictitious or not, in short by those whom they select as +the ladies of their thoughts, to avenge themselves in satires and +libels--a vengeance, to be sure, unworthy of generous hearts; but up to +the present I have not heard of any defamatory verse against the Lady +Angelica, who turned the world upside down." + +"Strange," said the curate; but at this moment they heard the housekeeper +and the niece, who had previously withdrawn from the conversation, +exclaiming aloud in the courtyard, and at the noise they all ran out. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +WHICH TREATS OF THE NOTABLE ALTERCATION WHICH SANCHO PANZA HAD WITH DON +QUIXOTE'S NIECE, AND HOUSEKEEPER, TOGETHER WITH OTHER DROLL MATTERS + + +The history relates that the outcry Don Quixote, the curate, and the +barber heard came from the niece and the housekeeper exclaiming to +Sancho, who was striving to force his way in to see Don Quixote while +they held the door against him, "What does the vagabond want in this +house? Be off to your own, brother, for it is you, and no one else, that +delude my master, and lead him astray, and take him tramping about the +country." + +To which Sancho replied, "Devil's own housekeeper! it is I who am +deluded, and led astray, and taken tramping about the country, and not +thy master! He has carried me all over the world, and you are mightily +mistaken. He enticed me away from home by a trick, promising me an +island, which I am still waiting for." + +"May evil islands choke thee, thou detestable Sancho," said the niece; +"What are islands? Is it something to eat, glutton and gormandiser that +thou art?" + +"It is not something to eat," replied Sancho, "but something to govern +and rule, and better than four cities or four judgeships at court." + +"For all that," said the housekeeper, "you don't enter here, you bag of +mischief and sack of knavery; go govern your house and dig your +seed-patch, and give over looking for islands or shylands." + +The curate and the barber listened with great amusement to the words of +the three; but Don Quixote, uneasy lest Sancho should blab and blurt out +a whole heap of mischievous stupidities, and touch upon points that might +not be altogether to his credit, called to him and made the other two +hold their tongues and let him come in. Sancho entered, and the curate +and the barber took their leave of Don Quixote, of whose recovery they +despaired when they saw how wedded he was to his crazy ideas, and how +saturated with the nonsense of his unlucky chivalry; and said the curate +to the barber, "You will see, gossip, that when we are least thinking of +it, our gentleman will be off once more for another flight." + +"I have no doubt of it," returned the barber; "but I do not wonder so +much at the madness of the knight as at the simplicity of the squire, who +has such a firm belief in all that about the island, that I suppose all +the exposures that could be imagined would not get it out of his head." + +"God help them," said the curate; "and let us be on the look-out to see +what comes of all these absurdities of the knight and squire, for it +seems as if they had both been cast in the same mould, and the madness of +the master without the simplicity of the man would not be worth a +farthing." + +"That is true," said the barber, "and I should like very much to know +what the pair are talking about at this moment." + +"I promise you," said the curate, "the niece or the housekeeper will tell +us by-and-by, for they are not the ones to forget to listen." + +Meanwhile Don Quixote shut himself up in his room with Sancho, and when +they were alone he said to him, "It grieves me greatly, Sancho, that thou +shouldst have said, and sayest, that I took thee out of thy cottage, when +thou knowest I did not remain in my house. We sallied forth together, we +took the road together, we wandered abroad together; we have had the same +fortune and the same luck; if they blanketed thee once, they belaboured +me a hundred times, and that is the only advantage I have of thee." + +"That was only reasonable," replied Sancho, "for, by what your worship +says, misfortunes belong more properly to knights-errant than to their +squires." + +"Thou art mistaken, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "according to the maxim +quando caput dolet, etc." + +"I don't understand any language but my own," said Sancho. + +"I mean to say," said Don Quixote, "that when the head suffers all the +members suffer; and so, being thy lord and master, I am thy head, and +thou a part of me as thou art my servant; and therefore any evil that +affects or shall affect me should give thee pain, and what affects thee +give pain to me." + +"It should be so," said Sancho; "but when I was blanketed as a member, my +head was on the other side of the wall, looking on while I was flying +through the air, and did not feel any pain whatever; and if the members +are obliged to feel the suffering of the head, it should be obliged to +feel their sufferings." + +"Dost thou mean to say now, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that I did not +feel when they were blanketing thee? If thou dost, thou must not say so +or think so, for I felt more pain then in spirit than thou didst in body. +But let us put that aside for the present, for we shall have +opportunities enough for considering and settling the point; tell me, +Sancho my friend, what do they say about me in the village here? What do +the common people think of me? What do the hidalgos? What do the +caballeros? What do they say of my valour; of my achievements; of my +courtesy? How do they treat the task I have undertaken in reviving and +restoring to the world the now forgotten order of chivalry? In short, +Sancho, I would have thee tell me all that has come to thine ears on this +subject; and thou art to tell me, without adding anything to the good or +taking away anything from the bad; for it is the duty of loyal vassals to +tell the truth to their lords just as it is and in its proper shape, not +allowing flattery to add to it or any idle deference to lessen it. And I +would have thee know, Sancho, that if the naked truth, undisguised by +flattery, came to the ears of princes, times would be different, and +other ages would be reckoned iron ages more than ours, which I hold to be +the golden of these latter days. Profit by this advice, Sancho, and +report to me clearly and faithfully the truth of what thou knowest +touching what I have demanded of thee." + +"That I will do with all my heart, master," replied Sancho, "provided +your worship will not be vexed at what I say, as you wish me to say it +out in all its nakedness, without putting any more clothes on it than it +came to my knowledge in." + +"I will not be vexed at all," returned Don Quixote; "thou mayest speak +freely, Sancho, and without any beating about the bush." + +"Well then," said he, "first of all, I have to tell you that the common +people consider your worship a mighty great madman, and me no less a +fool. The hidalgos say that, not keeping within the bounds of your +quality of gentleman, you have assumed the 'Don,' and made a knight of +yourself at a jump, with four vine-stocks and a couple of acres of land, +and never a shirt to your back. The caballeros say they do not want to +have hidalgos setting up in opposition to them, particularly squire +hidalgos who polish their own shoes and darn their black stockings with +green silk." + +"That," said Don Quixote, "does not apply to me, for I always go well +dressed and never patched; ragged I may be, but ragged more from the wear +and tear of arms than of time." + +"As to your worship's valour, courtesy, accomplishments, and task, there +is a variety of opinions. Some say, 'mad but droll;' others, 'valiant but +unlucky;' others, 'courteous but meddling,' and then they go into such a +number of things that they don't leave a whole bone either in your +worship or in myself." + +"Recollect, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "that wherever virtue exists in an +eminent degree it is persecuted. Few or none of the famous men that have +lived escaped being calumniated by malice. Julius Caesar, the boldest, +wisest, and bravest of captains, was charged with being ambitious, and +not particularly cleanly in his dress, or pure in his morals. Of +Alexander, whose deeds won him the name of Great, they say that he was +somewhat of a drunkard. Of Hercules, him of the many labours, it is said +that he was lewd and luxurious. Of Don Galaor, the brother of Amadis of +Gaul, it was whispered that he was over quarrelsome, and of his brother +that he was lachrymose. So that, O Sancho, amongst all these calumnies +against good men, mine may be let pass, since they are no more than thou +hast said." + +"That's just where it is, body of my father!" + +"Is there more, then?" asked Don Quixote. + +"There's the tail to be skinned yet," said Sancho; "all so far is cakes +and fancy bread; but if your worship wants to know all about the +calumnies they bring against you, I will fetch you one this instant who +can tell you the whole of them without missing an atom; for last night +the son of Bartholomew Carrasco, who has been studying at Salamanca, came +home after having been made a bachelor, and when I went to welcome him, +he told me that your worship's history is already abroad in books, with +the title of THE INGENIOUS GENTLEMAN DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA; and he +says they mention me in it by my own name of Sancho Panza, and the lady +Dulcinea del Toboso too, and divers things that happened to us when we +were alone; so that I crossed myself in my wonder how the historian who +wrote them down could have known them." + +"I promise thee, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "the author of our history +will be some sage enchanter; for to such nothing that they choose to +write about is hidden." + +"What!" said Sancho, "a sage and an enchanter! Why, the bachelor Samson +Carrasco (that is the name of him I spoke of) says the author of the +history is called Cide Hamete Berengena." + +"That is a Moorish name," said Don Quixote. + +"May be so," replied Sancho; "for I have heard say that the Moors are +mostly great lovers of berengenas." + +"Thou must have mistaken the surname of this 'Cide'--which means in +Arabic 'Lord'--Sancho," observed Don Quixote. + +"Very likely," replied Sancho, "but if your worship wishes me to fetch +the bachelor I will go for him in a twinkling." + +"Thou wilt do me a great pleasure, my friend," said Don Quixote, "for +what thou hast told me has amazed me, and I shall not eat a morsel that +will agree with me until I have heard all about it." + +"Then I am off for him," said Sancho; and leaving his master he went in +quest of the bachelor, with whom he returned in a short time, and, all +three together, they had a very droll colloquy. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +OF THE LAUGHABLE CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN DON QUIXOTE, SANCHO +PANZA, AND THE BACHELOR SAMSON CARRASCO + + +Don Quixote remained very deep in thought, waiting for the bachelor +Carrasco, from whom he was to hear how he himself had been put into a +book as Sancho said; and he could not persuade himself that any such +history could be in existence, for the blood of the enemies he had slain +was not yet dry on the blade of his sword, and now they wanted to make +out that his mighty achievements were going about in print. For all that, +he fancied some sage, either a friend or an enemy, might, by the aid of +magic, have given them to the press; if a friend, in order to magnify and +exalt them above the most famous ever achieved by any knight-errant; if +an enemy, to bring them to naught and degrade them below the meanest ever +recorded of any low squire, though as he said to himself, the +achievements of squires never were recorded. If, however, it were the +fact that such a history were in existence, it must necessarily, being +the story of a knight-errant, be grandiloquent, lofty, imposing, grand +and true. With this he comforted himself somewhat, though it made him +uncomfortable to think that the author was a Moor, judging by the title +of "Cide;" and that no truth was to be looked for from Moors, as they are +all impostors, cheats, and schemers. He was afraid he might have dealt +with his love affairs in some indecorous fashion, that might tend to the +discredit and prejudice of the purity of his lady Dulcinea del Toboso; he +would have had him set forth the fidelity and respect he had always +observed towards her, spurning queens, empresses, and damsels of all +sorts, and keeping in check the impetuosity of his natural impulses. +Absorbed and wrapped up in these and divers other cogitations, he was +found by Sancho and Carrasco, whom Don Quixote received with great +courtesy. + +The bachelor, though he was called Samson, was of no great bodily size, +but he was a very great wag; he was of a sallow complexion, but very +sharp-witted, somewhere about four-and-twenty years of age, with a round +face, a flat nose, and a large mouth, all indications of a mischievous +disposition and a love of fun and jokes; and of this he gave a sample as +soon as he saw Don Quixote, by falling on his knees before him and +saying, "Let me kiss your mightiness's hand, Senor Don Quixote of La +Mancha, for, by the habit of St. Peter that I wear, though I have no more +than the first four orders, your worship is one of the most famous +knights-errant that have ever been, or will be, all the world over. A +blessing on Cide Hamete Benengeli, who has written the history of your +great deeds, and a double blessing on that connoisseur who took the +trouble of having it translated out of the Arabic into our Castilian +vulgar tongue for the universal entertainment of the people!" + +Don Quixote made him rise, and said, "So, then, it is true that there is +a history of me, and that it was a Moor and a sage who wrote it?" + +"So true is it, senor," said Samson, "that my belief is there are more +than twelve thousand volumes of the said history in print this very day. +Only ask Portugal, Barcelona, and Valencia, where they have been printed, +and moreover there is a report that it is being printed at Antwerp, and I +am persuaded there will not be a country or language in which there will +not be a translation of it." + +"One of the things," here observed Don Quixote, "that ought to give most +pleasure to a virtuous and eminent man is to find himself in his lifetime +in print and in type, familiar in people's mouths with a good name; I say +with a good name, for if it be the opposite, then there is no death to be +compared to it." + +"If it goes by good name and fame," said the bachelor, "your worship +alone bears away the palm from all the knights-errant; for the Moor in +his own language, and the Christian in his, have taken care to set before +us your gallantry, your high courage in encountering dangers, your +fortitude in adversity, your patience under misfortunes as well as +wounds, the purity and continence of the platonic loves of your worship +and my lady Dona Dulcinea del Toboso-" + +"I never heard my lady Dulcinea called Dona," observed Sancho here; +"nothing more than the lady Dulcinea del Toboso; so here already the +history is wrong." + +"That is not an objection of any importance," replied Carrasco. + +"Certainly not," said Don Quixote; "but tell me, senor bachelor, what +deeds of mine are they that are made most of in this history?" + +"On that point," replied the bachelor, "opinions differ, as tastes do; +some swear by the adventure of the windmills that your worship took to be +Briareuses and giants; others by that of the fulling mills; one cries up +the description of the two armies that afterwards took the appearance of +two droves of sheep; another that of the dead body on its way to be +buried at Segovia; a third says the liberation of the galley slaves is +the best of all, and a fourth that nothing comes up to the affair with +the Benedictine giants, and the battle with the valiant Biscayan." + +"Tell me, senor bachelor," said Sancho at this point, "does the adventure +with the Yanguesans come in, when our good Rocinante went hankering after +dainties?" + +"The sage has left nothing in the ink-bottle," replied Samson; "he tells +all and sets down everything, even to the capers that worthy Sancho cut +in the blanket." + +"I cut no capers in the blanket," returned Sancho; "in the air I did, and +more of them than I liked." + +"There is no human history in the world, I suppose," said Don Quixote, +"that has not its ups and downs, but more than others such as deal with +chivalry, for they can never be entirely made up of prosperous +adventures." + +"For all that," replied the bachelor, "there are those who have read the +history who say they would have been glad if the author had left out some +of the countless cudgellings that were inflicted on Senor Don Quixote in +various encounters." + +"That's where the truth of the history comes in," said Sancho. + +"At the same time they might fairly have passed them over in silence," +observed Don Quixote; "for there is no need of recording events which do +not change or affect the truth of a history, if they tend to bring the +hero of it into contempt. AEneas was not in truth and earnest so pious as +Virgil represents him, nor Ulysses so wise as Homer describes him." + +"That is true," said Samson; "but it is one thing to write as a poet, +another to write as a historian; the poet may describe or sing things, +not as they were, but as they ought to have been; but the historian has +to write them down, not as they ought to have been, but as they were, +without adding anything to the truth or taking anything from it." + +"Well then," said Sancho, "if this senor Moor goes in for telling the +truth, no doubt among my master's drubbings mine are to be found; for +they never took the measure of his worship's shoulders without doing the +same for my whole body; but I have no right to wonder at that, for, as my +master himself says, the members must share the pain of the head." + +"You are a sly dog, Sancho," said Don Quixote; "i' faith, you have no +want of memory when you choose to remember." + +"If I were to try to forget the thwacks they gave me," said Sancho, "my +weals would not let me, for they are still fresh on my ribs." + +"Hush, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "and don't interrupt the bachelor, whom +I entreat to go on and tell all that is said about me in this history." + +"And about me," said Sancho, "for they say, too, that I am one of the +principal presonages in it." + +"Personages, not presonages, friend Sancho," said Samson. + +"What! Another word-catcher!" said Sancho; "if that's to be the way we +shall not make an end in a lifetime." + +"May God shorten mine, Sancho," returned the bachelor, "if you are not +the second person in the history, and there are even some who would +rather hear you talk than the cleverest in the whole book; though there +are some, too, who say you showed yourself over-credulous in believing +there was any possibility in the government of that island offered you by +Senor Don Quixote." + +"There is still sunshine on the wall," said Don Quixote; "and when Sancho +is somewhat more advanced in life, with the experience that years bring, +he will be fitter and better qualified for being a governor than he is at +present." + +"By God, master," said Sancho, "the island that I cannot govern with the +years I have, I'll not be able to govern with the years of Methuselah; +the difficulty is that the said island keeps its distance somewhere, I +know not where; and not that there is any want of head in me to govern +it." + +"Leave it to God, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "for all will be and perhaps +better than you think; no leaf on the tree stirs but by God's will." + +"That is true," said Samson; "and if it be God's will, there will not be +any want of a thousand islands, much less one, for Sancho to govern." + +"I have seen governors in these parts," said Sancho, "that are not to be +compared to my shoe-sole; and for all that they are called 'your +lordship' and served on silver." + +"Those are not governors of islands," observed Samson, "but of other +governments of an easier kind: those that govern islands must at least +know grammar." + +"I could manage the gram well enough," said Sancho; "but for the mar I +have neither leaning nor liking, for I don't know what it is; but leaving +this matter of the government in God's hands, to send me wherever it may +be most to his service, I may tell you, senor bachelor Samson Carrasco, +it has pleased me beyond measure that the author of this history should +have spoken of me in such a way that what is said of me gives no offence; +for, on the faith of a true squire, if he had said anything about me that +was at all unbecoming an old Christian, such as I am, the deaf would have +heard of it." + +"That would be working miracles," said Samson. + +"Miracles or no miracles," said Sancho, "let everyone mind how he speaks +or writes about people, and not set down at random the first thing that +comes into his head." + +"One of the faults they find with this history," said the bachelor, "is +that its author inserted in it a novel called 'The Ill-advised +Curiosity;' not that it is bad or ill-told, but that it is out of place +and has nothing to do with the history of his worship Senor Don Quixote." + +"I will bet the son of a dog has mixed the cabbages and the baskets," +said Sancho. + +"Then, I say," said Don Quixote, "the author of my history was no sage, +but some ignorant chatterer, who, in a haphazard and heedless way, set +about writing it, let it turn out as it might, just as Orbaneja, the +painter of Ubeda, used to do, who, when they asked him what he was +painting, answered, 'What it may turn out.' Sometimes he would paint a +cock in such a fashion, and so unlike, that he had to write alongside of +it in Gothic letters, 'This is a cock; and so it will be with my history, +which will require a commentary to make it intelligible." + +"No fear of that," returned Samson, "for it is so plain that there is +nothing in it to puzzle over; the children turn its leaves, the young +people read it, the grown men understand it, the old folk praise it; in a +word, it is so thumbed, and read, and got by heart by people of all +sorts, that the instant they see any lean hack, they say, 'There goes +Rocinante.' And those that are most given to reading it are the pages, +for there is not a lord's ante-chamber where there is not a 'Don Quixote' +to be found; one takes it up if another lays it down; this one pounces +upon it, and that begs for it. In short, the said history is the most +delightful and least injurious entertainment that has been hitherto seen, +for there is not to be found in the whole of it even the semblance of an +immodest word, or a thought that is other than Catholic." + +"To write in any other way," said Don Quixote, "would not be to write +truth, but falsehood, and historians who have recourse to falsehood ought +to be burned, like those who coin false money; and I know not what could +have led the author to have recourse to novels and irrelevant stories, +when he had so much to write about in mine; no doubt he must have gone by +the proverb 'with straw or with hay, etc,' for by merely setting forth my +thoughts, my sighs, my tears, my lofty purposes, my enterprises, he might +have made a volume as large, or larger than all the works of El Tostado +would make up. In fact, the conclusion I arrive at, senor bachelor, is, +that to write histories, or books of any kind, there is need of great +judgment and a ripe understanding. To give expression to humour, and +write in a strain of graceful pleasantry, is the gift of great geniuses. +The cleverest character in comedy is the clown, for he who would make +people take him for a fool, must not be one. History is in a measure a +sacred thing, for it should be true, and where the truth is, there God +is; but notwithstanding this, there are some who write and fling books +broadcast on the world as if they were fritters." + +"There is no book so bad but it has something good in it," said the +bachelor. + +"No doubt of that," replied Don Quixote; "but it often happens that those +who have acquired and attained a well-deserved reputation by their +writings, lose it entirely, or damage it in some degree, when they give +them to the press." + +"The reason of that," said Samson, "is, that as printed works are +examined leisurely, their faults are easily seen; and the greater the +fame of the writer, the more closely are they scrutinised. Men famous for +their genius, great poets, illustrious historians, are always, or most +commonly, envied by those who take a particular delight and pleasure in +criticising the writings of others, without having produced any of their +own." + +"That is no wonder," said Don Quixote; "for there are many divines who +are no good for the pulpit, but excellent in detecting the defects or +excesses of those who preach." + +"All that is true, Senor Don Quixote," said Carrasco; "but I wish such +fault-finders were more lenient and less exacting, and did not pay so +much attention to the spots on the bright sun of the work they grumble +at; for if aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus, they should remember how +long he remained awake to shed the light of his work with as little shade +as possible; and perhaps it may be that what they find fault with may be +moles, that sometimes heighten the beauty of the face that bears them; +and so I say very great is the risk to which he who prints a book exposes +himself, for of all impossibilities the greatest is to write one that +will satisfy and please all readers." + +"That which treats of me must have pleased few," said Don Quixote. + +"Quite the contrary," said the bachelor; "for, as stultorum infinitum est +numerus, innumerable are those who have relished the said history; but +some have brought a charge against the author's memory, inasmuch as he +forgot to say who the thief was who stole Sancho's Dapple; for it is not +stated there, but only to be inferred from what is set down, that he was +stolen, and a little farther on we see Sancho mounted on the same ass, +without any reappearance of it. They say, too, that he forgot to state +what Sancho did with those hundred crowns that he found in the valise in +the Sierra Morena, as he never alludes to them again, and there are many +who would be glad to know what he did with them, or what he spent them +on, for it is one of the serious omissions of the work." + +"Senor Samson, I am not in a humour now for going into accounts or +explanations," said Sancho; "for there's a sinking of the stomach come +over me, and unless I doctor it with a couple of sups of the old stuff it +will put me on the thorn of Santa Lucia. I have it at home, and my old +woman is waiting for me; after dinner I'll come back, and will answer you +and all the world every question you may choose to ask, as well about the +loss of the ass as about the spending of the hundred crowns;" and without +another word or waiting for a reply he made off home. + +Don Quixote begged and entreated the bachelor to stay and do penance with +him. The bachelor accepted the invitation and remained, a couple of young +pigeons were added to the ordinary fare, at dinner they talked chivalry, +Carrasco fell in with his host's humour, the banquet came to an end, they +took their afternoon sleep, Sancho returned, and their conversation was +resumed. + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +IN WHICH SANCHO PANZA GIVES A SATISFACTORY REPLY TO THE DOUBTS AND +QUESTIONS OF THE BACHELOR SAMSON CARRASCO, TOGETHER WITH OTHER MATTERS +WORTH KNOWING AND TELLING + + +Sancho came back to Don Quixote's house, and returning to the late +subject of conversation, he said, "As to what Senor Samson said, that he +would like to know by whom, or how, or when my ass was stolen, I say in +reply that the same night we went into the Sierra Morena, flying from the +Holy Brotherhood after that unlucky adventure of the galley slaves, and +the other of the corpse that was going to Segovia, my master and I +ensconced ourselves in a thicket, and there, my master leaning on his +lance, and I seated on my Dapple, battered and weary with the late frays +we fell asleep as if it had been on four feather mattresses; and I in +particular slept so sound, that, whoever he was, he was able to come and +prop me up on four stakes, which he put under the four corners of the +pack-saddle in such a way that he left me mounted on it, and took away +Dapple from under me without my feeling it." + +"That is an easy matter," said Don Quixote, "and it is no new occurrence, +for the same thing happened to Sacripante at the siege of Albracca; the +famous thief, Brunello, by the same contrivance, took his horse from +between his legs." + +"Day came," continued Sancho, "and the moment I stirred the stakes gave +way and I fell to the ground with a mighty come down; I looked about for +the ass, but could not see him; the tears rushed to my eyes and I raised +such a lamentation that, if the author of our history has not put it in, +he may depend upon it he has left out a good thing. Some days after, I +know not how many, travelling with her ladyship the Princess Micomicona, +I saw my ass, and mounted upon him, in the dress of a gipsy, was that +Gines de Pasamonte, the great rogue and rascal that my master and I freed +from the chain." + +"That is not where the mistake is," replied Samson; "it is, that before +the ass has turned up, the author speaks of Sancho as being mounted on +it." + +"I don't know what to say to that," said Sancho, "unless that the +historian made a mistake, or perhaps it might be a blunder of the +printer's." + +"No doubt that's it," said Samson; "but what became of the hundred +crowns? Did they vanish?" + +To which Sancho answered, "I spent them for my own good, and my wife's, +and my children's, and it is they that have made my wife bear so +patiently all my wanderings on highways and byways, in the service of my +master, Don Quixote; for if after all this time I had come back to the +house without a rap and without the ass, it would have been a poor +look-out for me; and if anyone wants to know anything more about me, here +I am, ready to answer the king himself in person; and it is no affair of +anyone's whether I took or did not take, whether I spent or did not +spend; for the whacks that were given me in these journeys were to be +paid for in money, even if they were valued at no more than four +maravedis apiece, another hundred crowns would not pay me for half of +them. Let each look to himself and not try to make out white black, and +black white; for each of us is as God made him, aye, and often worse." + +"I will take care," said Carrasco, "to impress upon the author of the +history that, if he prints it again, he must not forget what worthy +Sancho has said, for it will raise it a good span higher." + +"Is there anything else to correct in the history, senor bachelor?" asked +Don Quixote. + +"No doubt there is," replied he; "but not anything that will be of the +same importance as those I have mentioned." + +"Does the author promise a second part at all?" said Don Quixote. + +"He does promise one," replied Samson; "but he says he has not found it, +nor does he know who has got it; and we cannot say whether it will appear +or not; and so, on that head, as some say that no second part has ever +been good, and others that enough has been already written about Don +Quixote, it is thought there will be no second part; though some, who are +jovial rather than saturnine, say, 'Let us have more Quixotades, let Don +Quixote charge and Sancho chatter, and no matter what it may turn out, we +shall be satisfied with that.'" + +"And what does the author mean to do?" said Don Quixote. + +"What?" replied Samson; "why, as soon as he has found the history which +he is now searching for with extraordinary diligence, he will at once +give it to the press, moved more by the profit that may accrue to him +from doing so than by any thought of praise." + +Whereat Sancho observed, "The author looks for money and profit, does he? +It will be a wonder if he succeeds, for it will be only hurry, hurry, +with him, like the tailor on Easter Eve; and works done in a hurry are +never finished as perfectly as they ought to be. Let master Moor, or +whatever he is, pay attention to what he is doing, and I and my master +will give him as much grouting ready to his hand, in the way of +adventures and accidents of all sorts, as would make up not only one +second part, but a hundred. The good man fancies, no doubt, that we are +fast asleep in the straw here, but let him hold up our feet to be shod +and he will see which foot it is we go lame on. All I say is, that if my +master would take my advice, we would be now afield, redressing outrages +and righting wrongs, as is the use and custom of good knights-errant." + +Sancho had hardly uttered these words when the neighing of Rocinante fell +upon their ears, which neighing Don Quixote accepted as a happy omen, and +he resolved to make another sally in three or four days from that time. +Announcing his intention to the bachelor, he asked his advice as to the +quarter in which he ought to commence his expedition, and the bachelor +replied that in his opinion he ought to go to the kingdom of Aragon, and +the city of Saragossa, where there were to be certain solemn joustings at +the festival of St. George, at which he might win renown above all the +knights of Aragon, which would be winning it above all the knights of the +world. He commended his very praiseworthy and gallant resolution, but +admonished him to proceed with greater caution in encountering dangers, +because his life did not belong to him, but to all those who had need of +him to protect and aid them in their misfortunes. + +"There's where it is, what I abominate, Senor Samson," said Sancho here; +"my master will attack a hundred armed men as a greedy boy would half a +dozen melons. Body of the world, senor bachelor! there is a time to +attack and a time to retreat, and it is not to be always 'Santiago, and +close Spain!' Moreover, I have heard it said (and I think by my master +himself, if I remember rightly) that the mean of valour lies between the +extremes of cowardice and rashness; and if that be so, I don't want him +to fly without having good reason, or to attack when the odds make it +better not. But, above all things, I warn my master that if he is to take +me with him it must be on the condition that he is to do all the +fighting, and that I am not to be called upon to do anything except what +concerns keeping him clean and comfortable; in this I will dance +attendance on him readily; but to expect me to draw sword, even against +rascally churls of the hatchet and hood, is idle. I don't set up to be a +fighting man, Senor Samson, but only the best and most loyal squire that +ever served knight-errant; and if my master Don Quixote, in consideration +of my many faithful services, is pleased to give me some island of the +many his worship says one may stumble on in these parts, I will take it +as a great favour; and if he does not give it to me, I was born like +everyone else, and a man must not live in dependence on anyone except +God; and what is more, my bread will taste as well, and perhaps even +better, without a government than if I were a governor; and how do I know +but that in these governments the devil may have prepared some trip for +me, to make me lose my footing and fall and knock my grinders out? Sancho +I was born and Sancho I mean to die. But for all that, if heaven were to +make me a fair offer of an island or something else of the kind, without +much trouble and without much risk, I am not such a fool as to refuse it; +for they say, too, 'when they offer thee a heifer, run with a halter; and +'when good luck comes to thee, take it in.'" + +"Brother Sancho," said Carrasco, "you have spoken like a professor; but, +for all that, put your trust in God and in Senor Don Quixote, for he will +give you a kingdom, not to say an island." + +"It is all the same, be it more or be it less," replied Sancho; "though I +can tell Senor Carrasco that my master would not throw the kingdom he +might give me into a sack all in holes; for I have felt my own pulse and +I find myself sound enough to rule kingdoms and govern islands; and I +have before now told my master as much." + +"Take care, Sancho," said Samson; "honours change manners, and perhaps +when you find yourself a governor you won't know the mother that bore +you." + +"That may hold good of those that are born in the ditches," said Sancho, +"not of those who have the fat of an old Christian four fingers deep on +their souls, as I have. Nay, only look at my disposition, is that likely +to show ingratitude to anyone?" + +"God grant it," said Don Quixote; "we shall see when the government +comes; and I seem to see it already." + +He then begged the bachelor, if he were a poet, to do him the favour of +composing some verses for him conveying the farewell he meant to take of +his lady Dulcinea del Toboso, and to see that a letter of her name was +placed at the beginning of each line, so that, at the end of the verses, +"Dulcinea del Toboso" might be read by putting together the first +letters. The bachelor replied that although he was not one of the famous +poets of Spain, who were, they said, only three and a half, he would not +fail to compose the required verses; though he saw a great difficulty in +the task, as the letters which made up the name were seventeen; so, if he +made four ballad stanzas of four lines each, there would be a letter +over, and if he made them of five, what they called decimas or +redondillas, there were three letters short; nevertheless he would try to +drop a letter as well as he could, so that the name "Dulcinea del Toboso" +might be got into four ballad stanzas. + +"It must be, by some means or other," said Don Quixote, "for unless the +name stands there plain and manifest, no woman would believe the verses +were made for her." + +They agreed upon this, and that the departure should take place in three +days from that time. Don Quixote charged the bachelor to keep it a +secret, especially from the curate and Master Nicholas, and from his +niece and the housekeeper, lest they should prevent the execution of his +praiseworthy and valiant purpose. Carrasco promised all, and then took +his leave, charging Don Quixote to inform him of his good or evil +fortunes whenever he had an opportunity; and thus they bade each other +farewell, and Sancho went away to make the necessary preparations for +their expedition. + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +OF THE SHREWD AND DROLL CONVERSATION THAT PASSED BETWEEN SANCHO PANZA AND +HIS WIFE TERESA PANZA, AND OTHER MATTERS WORTHY OF BEING DULY RECORDED + + +The translator of this history, when he comes to write this fifth +chapter, says that he considers it apocryphal, because in it Sancho Panza +speaks in a style unlike that which might have been expected from his +limited intelligence, and says things so subtle that he does not think it +possible he could have conceived them; however, desirous of doing what +his task imposed upon him, he was unwilling to leave it untranslated, and +therefore he went on to say: + +Sancho came home in such glee and spirits that his wife noticed his +happiness a bowshot off, so much so that it made her ask him, "What have +you got, Sancho friend, that you are so glad?" + +To which he replied, "Wife, if it were God's will, I should be very glad +not to be so well pleased as I show myself." + +"I don't understand you, husband," said she, "and I don't know what you +mean by saying you would be glad, if it were God's will, not to be well +pleased; for, fool as I am, I don't know how one can find pleasure in not +having it." + +"Hark ye, Teresa," replied Sancho, "I am glad because I have made up my +mind to go back to the service of my master Don Quixote, who means to go +out a third time to seek for adventures; and I am going with him again, +for my necessities will have it so, and also the hope that cheers me with +the thought that I may find another hundred crowns like those we have +spent; though it makes me sad to have to leave thee and the children; and +if God would be pleased to let me have my daily bread, dry-shod and at +home, without taking me out into the byways and cross-roads--and he could +do it at small cost by merely willing it--it is clear my happiness would +be more solid and lasting, for the happiness I have is mingled with +sorrow at leaving thee; so that I was right in saying I would be glad, if +it were God's will, not to be well pleased." + +"Look here, Sancho," said Teresa; "ever since you joined on to a +knight-errant you talk in such a roundabout way that there is no +understanding you." + +"It is enough that God understands me, wife," replied Sancho; "for he is +the understander of all things; that will do; but mind, sister, you must +look to Dapple carefully for the next three days, so that he may be fit +to take arms; double his feed, and see to the pack-saddle and other +harness, for it is not to a wedding we are bound, but to go round the +world, and play at give and take with giants and dragons and monsters, +and hear hissings and roarings and bellowings and howlings; and even all +this would be lavender, if we had not to reckon with Yanguesans and +enchanted Moors." + +"I know well enough, husband," said Teresa, "that squires-errant don't +eat their bread for nothing, and so I will be always praying to our Lord +to deliver you speedily from all that hard fortune." + +"I can tell you, wife," said Sancho, "if I did not expect to see myself +governor of an island before long, I would drop down dead on the spot." + +"Nay, then, husband," said Teresa; "let the hen live, though it be with +her pip, live, and let the devil take all the governments in the world; +you came out of your mother's womb without a government, you have lived +until now without a government, and when it is God's will you will go, or +be carried, to your grave without a government. How many there are in the +world who live without a government, and continue to live all the same, +and are reckoned in the number of the people. The best sauce in the world +is hunger, and as the poor are never without that, they always eat with a +relish. But mind, Sancho, if by good luck you should find yourself with +some government, don't forget me and your children. Remember that +Sanchico is now full fifteen, and it is right he should go to school, if +his uncle the abbot has a mind to have him trained for the Church. +Consider, too, that your daughter Mari-Sancha will not die of grief if we +marry her; for I have my suspicions that she is as eager to get a husband +as you to get a government; and, after all, a daughter looks better ill +married than well whored." + +"By my faith," replied Sancho, "if God brings me to get any sort of a +government, I intend, wife, to make such a high match for Mari-Sancha +that there will be no approaching her without calling her 'my lady." + +"Nay, Sancho," returned Teresa; "marry her to her equal, that is the +safest plan; for if you put her out of wooden clogs into high-heeled +shoes, out of her grey flannel petticoat into hoops and silk gowns, out +of the plain 'Marica' and 'thou,' into 'Dona So-and-so' and 'my lady,' +the girl won't know where she is, and at every turn she will fall into a +thousand blunders that will show the thread of her coarse homespun +stuff." + +"Tut, you fool," said Sancho; "it will be only to practise it for two or +three years; and then dignity and decorum will fit her as easily as a +glove; and if not, what matter? Let her he 'my lady,' and never mind what +happens." + +"Keep to your own station, Sancho," replied Teresa; "don't try to raise +yourself higher, and bear in mind the proverb that says, 'wipe the nose +of your neigbbour's son, and take him into your house.' A fine thing it +would be, indeed, to marry our Maria to some great count or grand +gentleman, who, when the humour took him, would abuse her and call her +clown-bred and clodhopper's daughter and spinning wench. I have not been +bringing up my daughter for that all this time, I can tell you, husband. +Do you bring home money, Sancho, and leave marrying her to my care; there +is Lope Tocho, Juan Tocho's son, a stout, sturdy young fellow that we +know, and I can see he does not look sour at the girl; and with him, one +of our own sort, she will be well married, and we shall have her always +under our eyes, and be all one family, parents and children, +grandchildren and sons-in-law, and the peace and blessing of God will +dwell among us; so don't you go marrying her in those courts and grand +palaces where they won't know what to make of her, or she what to make of +herself." + +"Why, you idiot and wife for Barabbas," said Sancho, "what do you mean by +trying, without why or wherefore, to keep me from marrying my daughter to +one who will give me grandchildren that will be called 'your lordship'? +Look ye, Teresa, I have always heard my elders say that he who does not +know how to take advantage of luck when it comes to him, has no right to +complain if it gives him the go-by; and now that it is knocking at our +door, it will not do to shut it out; let us go with the favouring breeze +that blows upon us." + +It is this sort of talk, and what Sancho says lower down, that made the +translator of the history say he considered this chapter apocryphal. + +"Don't you see, you animal," continued Sancho, "that it will be well for +me to drop into some profitable government that will lift us out of the +mire, and marry Mari-Sancha to whom I like; and you yourself will find +yourself called 'Dona Teresa Panza,' and sitting in church on a fine +carpet and cushions and draperies, in spite and in defiance of all the +born ladies of the town? No, stay as you are, growing neither greater nor +less, like a tapestry figure--Let us say no more about it, for Sanchica +shall be a countess, say what you will." + +"Are you sure of all you say, husband?" replied Teresa. "Well, for all +that, I am afraid this rank of countess for my daughter will be her ruin. +You do as you like, make a duchess or a princess of her, but I can tell +you it will not be with my will and consent. I was always a lover of +equality, brother, and I can't bear to see people give themselves airs +without any right. They called me Teresa at my baptism, a plain, simple +name, without any additions or tags or fringes of Dons or Donas; Cascajo +was my father's name, and as I am your wife, I am called Teresa Panza, +though by right I ought to be called Teresa Cascajo; but 'kings go where +laws like,' and I am content with this name without having the 'Don' put +on top of it to make it so heavy that I cannot carry it; and I don't want +to make people talk about me when they see me go dressed like a countess +or governor's wife; for they will say at once, 'See what airs the slut +gives herself! Only yesterday she was always spinning flax, and used to +go to mass with the tail of her petticoat over her head instead of a +mantle, and there she goes to-day in a hooped gown with her broaches and +airs, as if we didn't know her!' If God keeps me in my seven senses, or +five, or whatever number I have, I am not going to bring myself to such a +pass; go you, brother, and be a government or an island man, and swagger +as much as you like; for by the soul of my mother, neither my daughter +nor I are going to stir a step from our village; a respectable woman +should have a broken leg and keep at home; and to be busy at something is +a virtuous damsel's holiday; be off to your adventures along with your +Don Quixote, and leave us to our misadventures, for God will mend them +for us according as we deserve it. I don't know, I'm sure, who fixed the +'Don' to him, what neither his father nor grandfather ever had." + +"I declare thou hast a devil of some sort in thy body!" said Sancho. "God +help thee, what a lot of things thou hast strung together, one after the +other, without head or tail! What have Cascajo, and the broaches and the +proverbs and the airs, to do with what I say? Look here, fool and dolt +(for so I may call you, when you don't understand my words, and run away +from good fortune), if I had said that my daughter was to throw herself +down from a tower, or go roaming the world, as the Infanta Dona Urraca +wanted to do, you would be right in not giving way to my will; but if in +an instant, in less than the twinkling of an eye, I put the 'Don' and 'my +lady' on her back, and take her out of the stubble, and place her under a +canopy, on a dais, and on a couch, with more velvet cushions than all the +Almohades of Morocco ever had in their family, why won't you consent and +fall in with my wishes?" + +"Do you know why, husband?" replied Teresa; "because of the proverb that +says 'who covers thee, discovers thee.' At the poor man people only throw +a hasty glance; on the rich man they fix their eyes; and if the said rich +man was once on a time poor, it is then there is the sneering and the +tattle and spite of backbiters; and in the streets here they swarm as +thick as bees." + +"Look here, Teresa," said Sancho, "and listen to what I am now going to +say to you; maybe you never heard it in all your life; and I do not give +my own notions, for what I am about to say are the opinions of his +reverence the preacher, who preached in this town last Lent, and who +said, if I remember rightly, that all things present that our eyes +behold, bring themselves before us, and remain and fix themselves on our +memory much better and more forcibly than things past." + +These observations which Sancho makes here are the other ones on account +of which the translator says he regards this chapter as apocryphal, +inasmuch as they are beyond Sancho's capacity. + +"Whence it arises," he continued, "that when we see any person well +dressed and making a figure with rich garments and retinue of servants, +it seems to lead and impel us perforce to respect him, though memory may +at the same moment recall to us some lowly condition in which we have +seen him, but which, whether it may have been poverty or low birth, being +now a thing of the past, has no existence; while the only thing that has +any existence is what we see before us; and if this person whom fortune +has raised from his original lowly state (these were the very words the +padre used) to his present height of prosperity, be well bred, generous, +courteous to all, without seeking to vie with those whose nobility is of +ancient date, depend upon it, Teresa, no one will remember what he was, +and everyone will respect what he is, except indeed the envious, from +whom no fair fortune is safe." + +"I do not understand you, husband," replied Teresa; "do as you like, and +don't break my head with any more speechifying and rethoric; and if you +have revolved to do what you say-" + +"Resolved, you should say, woman," said Sancho, "not revolved." + +"Don't set yourself to wrangle with me, husband," said Teresa; "I speak +as God pleases, and don't deal in out-of-the-way phrases; and I say if +you are bent upon having a government, take your son Sancho with you, and +teach him from this time on how to hold a government; for sons ought to +inherit and learn the trades of their fathers." + +"As soon as I have the government," said Sancho, "I will send for him by +post, and I will send thee money, of which I shall have no lack, for +there is never any want of people to lend it to governors when they have +not got it; and do thou dress him so as to hide what he is and make him +look what he is to be." + +"You send the money," said Teresa, "and I'll dress him up for you as fine +as you please." + +"Then we are agreed that our daughter is to be a countess," said Sancho. + +"The day that I see her a countess," replied Teresa, "it will be the same +to me as if I was burying her; but once more I say do as you please, for +we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, +though they be dogs;" and with this she began to weep in earnest, as if +she already saw Sanchica dead and buried. + +Sancho consoled her by saying that though he must make her a countess, he +would put it off as long as possible. Here their conversation came to an +end, and Sancho went back to see Don Quixote, and make arrangements for +their departure. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The History of Don Quixote, Vol. II., +Part 19, by Miguel de Cervantes + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON QUIXOTE, PART 19 *** + +***** This file should be named 5922.txt or 5922.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/9/2/5922/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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