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diff --git a/581-h/581-h.htm b/581-h/581-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..00d98f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/581-h/581-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4498 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Ginx's Baby, by Edward Jenkins + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ginx's Baby, by Edward Jenkins + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Ginx's Baby + +Author: Edward Jenkins + +Release Date: November 26, 2009 [EBook #581] +Last Updated: March 15, 2018 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GINX'S BABY *** + + + + +Produced by Charles Keller, and David Widger + + + + + + +</pre> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + GINX'S BABY + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + His Birth and other Misfortunes + </h2> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + A SATIRE + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Edward Jenkins + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PREF" id="link2H_PREF"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + PREFACE. + </h2> + <blockquote> + <p> + CRITIC.—I never read a more improbable story in my life. + </p> + <p> + AUTHOR.—Notwithstanding, it may be true. + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <blockquote> + <p class="toc"> + <big><b>CONTENTS</b></big> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART1"> <b>PART I. WHAT GINX DID WITH HIM.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> I.—Ab initio. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> II.—Home, sweet Home! </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> III.—Work and Ideas. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> IV.—Digressive, and may be skipped + without mutilating the History. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> V.—Reasons and Resolves. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VI.—The Antagonism of Law and Necessity. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VII.—Malthus and Man. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> VIII.—The Baby's First Translation. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART2"> <b>PART II. WHAT CHARITY AND THE CHURCHES DID + WITH HIM.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> I.—The Milk of Human Kindness, Mother's + Milk, and the Milk of the Word. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> II.—The Protestant Detectoral + Association. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> III.—The Sacrament of Baptism. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0015"> IV.—Law on Behalf of Gospel. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0016"> V.—Magistrate's Law. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0017"> VI—Popery and Protestantism in the + Queen's Bench. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0018"> VII.—A Protestor, but not a Protestant. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0019"> VIII.—“See how these Christians love one + another.” </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0020"> IX.—Good Samaritans, and Good-Samaritan + Twopences. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0021"> X.—The Force—and a Specimen of its + Weakness. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0022"> XI.—The Unity of the Spirit and the Bond + of Peace. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0023"> XII.—No Funds—no Faith, no Works. + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0024"> XIII.—In transitu. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART3"> <b>PART III. WHAT THE PARISH DID WITH HIM.</b> + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0026"> I.—Parochial Knots—to be untied + without prejudice. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0027"> II.—A Board of Guardians. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0028"> III.—“The World is my Parish.” </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0029"> IV.—Without prejudice to any one but the + Guardians. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0030"> V.—An Ungodly Jungle. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0031"> VI.—Parochial Benevolence—and + another translation. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART4"> <b>PART IV. WHAT THE CLUBS AND POLITICIANS DID + WITH HIM.</b> </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0033"> I.—Moved on. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0034"> II.—Club Ideas. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0035"> III.—A thorough-paced Reformer—if + not a Revolutionary. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0036"> IV.—Very Broad Views. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0037"> V.—Party Tactics—and Political + Obstructions to Social Reform. </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0038"> VI.—Amateur Debating in a High + Legislative Body. </a> + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_PART5"> <b>PART V. WHAT GINX'S BABY DID WITH HIMSELF.</b> + </a> + </p> + <p class="toc"> + <a href="#link2H_4_0040"> The Last Chapter. </a> + </p> + </blockquote> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_PART1" id="link2H_PART1"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h2> + PART I. WHAT GINX DID WITH HIM. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I.—Ab initio. + </h2> + <p> + The name of the father of Ginx's Baby was Ginx. By a not unexceptional + coincidence, its mother was Mrs. Ginx. The gender of Ginx's Baby was + masculine. + </p> + <p> + On the day when our hero was born, Mr. and Mrs. Ginx were living at Number + Five, Rosemary Street, in the City of Westminster. The being then and + there brought into the world was not the only human entity to which the + title of “Ginx's Baby” was or had been appropriate. Ginx had been married + to Betsy Hicks at St. John's, Westminster, on the twenty-fifth day of + October, 18—, as appears from the “marriage lines” retained by Betsy + Ginx, and carefully collated by me with the original register. Our hero + was their thirteenth child. Patient inquiry has enabled me to verify the + following history of their propagations. On July the twenty-fifth, the + year after their marriage, Mrs. Ginx was safely delivered of a girl. No + announcement of this appeared in the newspapers. + </p> + <p> + On the tenth of April following, the whole neighborhood, including Great + Smith Street, Marsham Street, Great and Little Peter Streets, Regent + Street, Horseferry Road, and Strutton Ground, was convulsed by the report + that a woman named Ginx had given birth to “a triplet,” consisting of two + girls and a boy. The news penetrated to Dean's Yard and the ancient school + of Westminster. The Dean, who accepted nothing on trust, sent to verify + the report, his messenger bearing a bundle of baby-clothes from the Dean's + wife, who thought that the mother could scarcely have provided for so + large an addition to her family. The schoolboys, on their way to the + play-ground at Vincent Square, slyly diverged to have a look at the + curiosity, paying sixpence a head to Mrs. Ginx's friend and crony, Mrs. + Spittal, who pocketed the money, and said nothing about it to the sick + woman. THIS birth was announced in all the newspapers throughout the + kingdom, with the further news that Her Majesty the Queen had been + graciously pleased to forward to Mrs. Ginx the sum of three pounds. + </p> + <p> + What could have possessed the woman I can't say, but about a twelvemonth + after, Mrs. Ginx, with the assistance of two doctors hastily fetched from + the hospital by her frightened husband, nearly perished in a fresh effort + of maternity. This time two sons and two daughters fell to the lot of the + happy pair. Her Majesty sent four pounds. But whatever peace there was at + home, broils disturbed the street. The neighbors, who had sent for the + police on the occasion, were angered by a notoriety which was becoming + uncomfortable to them, and began to testify their feelings in various + rough ways. Ginx removed his family to Rosemary Street, where, up to a + year before the time when Ginx's Baby was born, his wife had continued to + add to her offspring until the tale reached one dozen. It was then that + Ginx affectionately but firmly begged that his wife would consider her + family ways, since, in all conscience, he had fairly earned the + blessedness of the man who hath his quiver full of them; and frankly gave + her notice that, as his utmost efforts could scarcely maintain their + existing family, if she ventured to present him with any more, either + single, or twins, or triplets, or otherwise, he would most assuredly drown + him, or her, or them in the water-butt, and take the consequences. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II.—Home, sweet Home! + </h2> + <p> + The day on which Ginx uttered his awful threat was that next to the one + wherein number twelve had drawn his first breath. His wife lay on the bed + which, at the outset of wedded life, they had purchased secondhand in + Strutton Ground for the sum of nine shillings and sixpence. SECOND-HAND! + It had passed through, at least, as many hands as there were afterwards + babies born upon it. Twelfth or thirteenth hand, a vagabond, botched + bedstead, type of all the furniture in Ginx's rooms, and in numberless + houses through the vast city. Its dimensions were 4 feet 6 inches by 6 + feet. When Ginx, who was a stout navvy, and Mrs. Ginx, who was, you may + conceive, a matronly woman, were in it, there was little vacant space + about them. Yet, as they were forced to find resting-places for all the + children, it not seldom happened that at least one infant was perilously + wedged between the parental bodies; and latterly they had been so pressed + for room in the household that two younglings were nestled at the foot of + the bed. Without foot-board or pillows, the lodgment of these infants was + precarious, since any fatuous movement of Ginx's legs was likely to expel + them head-first. However they were safe, for they were sure to fall on one + or other of their brothers or sisters. + </p> + <p> + I shall be as particular as a valuer, and describe what I have seen. The + family sleeping-room measured 13 feet 6 inches by 14 feet. + </p> + <p> + Opening out of this, and again on the landing of the third-floor, was + their kitchen and sitting-room; it was not quite so large as the other. + This room contained a press, an old chest of drawers, a wooden box once + used for navvy's tools, three chairs, a stool, and some cooking utensils. + When, therefore, one little Ginx had curled himself up under a blanket on + the box, and three more had slipped beneath a tattered piece of carpet + under the table, there still remained five little bodies to be bedded. For + them an old straw mattress, limp enough to be rolled up and thrust under + the bed, was at night extended on the floor. With this, and a patchwork + quilt, the five were left to pack themselves together as best they could. + So that, if Ginx, in some vision of the night, happened to be angered, and + struck out his legs in navvy fashion, it sometimes came to pass that a + couple of children tumbled upon the mass of infantile humanity below. + </p> + <p> + Not to be described are the dinginess of the walls, the smokiness of the + ceilings, the grimy windows, the heavy, ever-murky atmosphere of these + rooms. They were 8 feet 6 inches in height, and any curious statist can + calculate the number of cubic feet of air which they afforded to each + person. + </p> + <p> + The other side of the street was 14 feet distant. Behind, the backs of + similar tenements came up black and cowering over the little yard of + Number Five. As rare, in the well thus formed, was the circulation of air + as that of coin in the pockets of the inhabitants. I have seen the yard; + let me warn you, if you are fastidious, not to enter it. Such of the filth + of the house as could not, at night, be thrown out of the front windows, + was there collected, and seldom, if ever, removed. What became of it? What + becomes of countless such accretions in like places? Are a large + proportion of these filthy atoms absorbed by human creatures living and + dying, instead of being carried away by scavengers and inspectors? The + forty-five big and little lodgers in the house were provided with a single + office in the corner of the yard. It had once been capped by a cistern, + long since rotted away— + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + The street was at one time the prey of the gas company; at another, of the + drainage contractors. They seemed to delight in turning up the fetid soil, + cutting deep trenches through various strata of filth, and piling up for + days or weeks matter that reeked with vegetable and animal decay. One + needs not affirm that Rosemary Street was not so called from its + fragrance. If the Ginxes and their neighbors preserved any semblance of + health in this place, the most popular guardian on the board must own it a + miracle. They, poor people, knew nothing of “sanitary reform,” “sanitary + precautions,” “zymotics,” “endemics,” “epidemics,” “deodorizers,” or + “disinfectants.” They regarded disease with the apathy of creatures who + felt it to be inseparable from humanity, and with the fatalism of despair. + </p> + <p> + Gin was their cardinal prescription, not for cure, but for oblivion: “Sold + everywhere.” A score of palaces flourished within call of each other in + that dismal district—garish, rich-looking dens, drawing to the + support of their vulgar glory the means, the lives, the eternal destinies + of the wrecked masses about them. Veritable wreckers they who construct + these haunts, viler than the wretches who place false beacons and plunder + bodies on the beach. Bring down the real owners of these places, and show + them their deadly work! Some of them leading Philanthropists, eloquent at + Missionary meetings and Bible Societies, paying tribute to the Lord out of + the pockets of dying drunkards, fighting glorious battles for slaves, and + manfully upholding popular rights. My rich publican—forgive the pun—before + you pay tithes of mint and cummin, much more before you claim to be a + disciple of a certain Nazarene, take a lesson from one who restored + fourfold the money he had wrung from honest toil, or reflect on the case + of the man to whom it was said, “Go sell all thou hast, and give to the + poor.” The lips from which that counsel dropped offered some unpleasant + alternatives, leaving out one, however, which nowadays may yet reach you—the + contempt of your kind. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III.—Work and Ideas. + </h2> + <p> + I return again to Ginx's menace to his wife, who was suckling her infant + at the time on the bed. For her he had an animal affection that preserved + her from unkindness, even in his cups. His hand had never unmanned itself + by striking her, and rarely indeed did it injure any one else. He wrestled + not against flesh and blood, or powers, or principalities, or wicked + spirits in high places. He struggled with clods and stones, and primeval + chaos. His hands were horny with the fight, and his nature had perhaps + caught some of the dull ruggedness of the things wherewith he battled. + Hard and with a will had he worked through the years of wedded life, and, + to speak him fair, he had acted honestly, within the limits of his + knowledge and means, for the good of his family. How narrow were those + limits! Every week he threw into the lap of Mrs. Ginx the eighteen or + twenty shillings which his strength and temperance enabled him + continuously to earn, less sixpence reserved for the public-house, whither + he retreated on Sundays after the family dinner. A dozen children + overrunning the space in his rooms was then a strain beyond the endurance + of Ginx. Nor had he the heart to try the common plan, and turn his + children out of doors on the chance of their being picked up in a raid of + Sunday School teachers. So he turned out himself to talk with the humbler + spirits of the “Dragon,” or listen sleepily while alehouse demagogues + prescribed remedies for State abuses. + </p> + <p> + Our friend was nearly as guiltless of knowledge as if Eve had never rifled + the tree whereon it grew. Vacant of policies were his thoughts; innocent + he of ideas of state-craft. He knew there was a Queen; he had seen her. + Lords and Commons were to him vague deities possessing strange powers. + Indeed, he had been present when some of his better-informed companions + had recognized with cheers certain gentlemen,—of whom Ginx's + estimate was expressed by a reference to his test of superiority to + himself in that which he felt to be greatest within him—“I could + lick 'em with my little finger”—as the Chancellor of the Exchequer + and the Prime Minister. Little recked he of their uses or abuses. The + functions of Government were to him Asian mysteries. He only felt that it + ought to have a strong arm, like the brawny member wherewith he preserved + order in his domestic kingdom, and therefore generally associated + Government with the Police. In his view these were to clear away + evil-doers and leave every one else alone. The higher objects of + Government were, if at all, outlined in the shadowiest form in his + imagination. Government imposed taxes—that he was obliged to know. + Government maintained the parks; for that he thanked it. Government made + laws, but what they were, or with what aim or effects made, he knew not, + save only that by them something was done to raise or depress the prices + of bread, tea, sugar, and other necessaries. Why they should do so he + never conceived—I am not sure that he cared. Legislation sometimes + pinched him, but darkness so hid from him the persons and objects of the + legislators that he could not criticise the theories which those powerful + beings were subjecting to experiment at his cost. I must, at any risk, say + something about this in a separate chapter. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV.—Digressive, and may be skipped without mutilating the History. + </h2> + <p> + I stop here to address any of the following characters, should he + perchance read these memoirs: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + You, Mr. Statesman—if there be such; + Mr. Pseudo-Statesman, Placeman, Party Leader, Wirepuller; + Mr. Amateur Statesman, Dilettante Lord, Civil Servant; + Mr. Clubman, Litterateur, Newspaper Scribe; + Mr. People's Candidate, Demagogue, Fenian Spouter; +</pre> + <p> + or whoever you may be, professing to know aught or do anything in matters + of policy, consider, what I am sure you have never fairly weighed, the + condition of a man whose clearest notion of Government is derived from the + Police! Imagine one who had never seen a polyp trying to construct an + ideal of the animal, from a single tentacle swinging out from the tangle + of weed in which the rest was wrapped! How then any more can you fancy + that a man to whose sight and knowledge the only part of government + practically exposed is the strong process of police, shall form a proper + conception of the functions, reasons, operations, and relations of + Government; or even build up an ideal of anything but a haughty, + unreasonable, antagonistic, tax-imposing FORCE! And how can you rule such + a being except as you rule a dog, by that which alone he understands—the + dog-whip of the constable! Given in a country a majority of creatures like + these, and surely despotism is its properest complement. But when they + exist, as they exist in England to-day, in hundreds of thousands, in town + and country, think what a complication they introduce into your theoretic + free system of government. Acts of Parliament passed by a “freely-elected” + House of Commons, and an hereditary House of Lords under the threats of + freely-electing citizens, however pure in intention and correct in + principle, will not seem to him to be the resultants of every wish in the + community so much as dictations by superior strength. To these the + obedience he will render will not be the loving assent of his heart, but a + begrudged concession to circumstance. Your awe-invested legislature is not + viewed as his friend and brother-helper, but his tyrant. Therefore the + most natural bent of his workman-statesmanship—a rough, bungling + affair—will be to tame you—you who ought to be his Counsellor + and Friend. When he finds that your legislative action exerts upon him a + repressive and restraining force he will curse you as its author, because + he sees not the springs you are working. Should he even be a little more + advanced in knowledge than our friend Ginx, and learn that he helps to + elect the Parliament to make laws on behalf of himself and his + fellow-citizens, he will scarce trust the assembly which is supposed to + represent him. Will he, like a good citizen and a politic, accept with + dignity and self-control the decision of a majority against his + prejudices: or will he not regard the whole Wittenagemote with suspicion, + contempt, or even hatred? See him rush madly to Trafalgar Square meetings, + Hyde Park demonstrations, perhaps to Lord George Gordon Riots, as if there + were no less perilous means of publishing his opinions! There wily men may + lead his unconscious intellect, and stir his passions, and direct his + forces against his own—and his children's good. + </p> + <p> + Did it ever occur to you, or any of you, how many voters cannot read, and + how many more, though they can read, are unable to apprehend reasons of + statesmanship?—that even newspapers cannot inform them, since they + have not the elementary knowledge needed for the comprehension of those + things which are discussed in them; nay, that for want of understanding + the same they may terribly distort political aims and consequences? + </p> + <p> + Might it not be worth while for you, gentlemen—may it not be your + duty to devise ways and means for conveying such elementary instruction by + good street-preachers on politics and economy, or even political + bible-women or colporteurs, and so to make clear to the understanding of + every voter what are the reasons and aims of every act of Legislation, + Home Administration, and Foreign Policy? If you do not find out some way + to do this he may turn round upon you—I hope he may—and insist + on annually-elected parliaments, and thus oblige ambitious state-mongers, + in the rivalry of place, to come to him and declare more often their + wishes and objects. Other attractions may be found in that solution: such + as the untying of some knots of electoral difficulty, and removing + incitements to corruption. Ten thousand pounds for one year's power were a + high price even to a contractor. Think then whether at any cost some + general political education must not be attempted, since there is a spirit + breathing on the waters, and how it shall convulse them is no indifferent + matter to you or to me. Everywhere around us are unhewn rocks stirred with + a strange motion. Leave these chaotic fragments of humanity to be hewn + into rough shape by coarse artists seeking only a petty profit, unhandy, + immeasurably impudent; or dress them by your teaching—teaching which + is the highest, noblest, purest, most efficient function of Government, + which ought to be the most lofty ambition of statesmanship—to be + civic corner-stones polished after the similitude of a palace. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V.—Reasons and Resolves. + </h2> + <p> + Ginx has been waiting through three chapters to explain his truculence + upon the birth of his twelfth child. Much explanation is not necessary. + When he looked round his nest and saw the many open mouths about him, he + might well be appalled to have another added to them. His children were + not chameleons, yet they were already forced to be content with a + proportion of air for their food. And even the air was bad. They were + pallid and pinched. How they were clad will ever be a mystery, save to the + poor woman who strung the limp rags together and Him who watched the noble + patience and sacrifice of a daily heroism. Of her own unsatisfied + cravings, and the dense motherly horrors that sometimes brooded over her + while she nursed these infants, let me refrain from speaking, since if as + vividly depicted as they were real, you, Madam, could not endure to read + of them. Her poor, unintelligent mind clung tenaciously to the + controverted aphorism, “Where God sends mouths he sends food to fill + them.” Believing that there was a God, and that He must be kind, she + trusted in this as a truth, and perhaps an all-seeing eye reading some + quaint characters on her simple heart, viewed them not too nearly, but had + regard to their general import, for, as she expressed it, “Thank God! they + had always been able to get along.” + </p> + <p> + In the rush and tumult of the world it is likely that the summum bonum of + nine-tenths of mankind is embraced in that purely negative happiness—to + get along. Not to perish: to open eyes, however wearily, on a new morning: + to satisfy with something, no matter what, a craving appetite: to close + eyes at night under some shadow or shelter: or, it may be, in certain + ranks to walk another day free from bankruptcy or arrest: Thank Heaven, + they are just able to get along! + </p> + <p> + Convinced that another infant straw would break his back, Ginx calmly + proposed to disconcert physical, moral, and legal relations by drowning + the straw Mrs. Ginx clinging to Number Twelve listened aghast. If a mother + can forget her sucking child she was not that mother. The stream of her + affections, though divided into twelve rills, would not have been + exhausted in twenty-four, and her soul, forecasting its sorrow, yearned + after that nonentity Number Thirteen. She pictured to herself the hapless + strangeling borne away from her bosom by those strong arms, and—in + fact she sobbed so that Ginx grew ashamed, and sought to comfort her by + the suggestion that she could not have any more. But she knew better. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI.—The Antagonism of Law and Necessity. + </h2> + <p> + In eighteen months, notwithstanding resolves, menaces, and prophecies, + GINX'S BABY was born. The mother hid the impending event long, from the + father. When he came to know it, he fixed his determination by much + thought and a little extra drinking. He argued thus: “He wouldn't go on + the parish. He couldn't keep another youngster to save his life. He had + never taken charity and never would. There was nothink to do with it but + drown it!” Female friends of Mrs. Ginx bruited his intentions about the + neighborhood, so that her “time” was watched for with interest. At last it + came. One afternoon Ginx, lounging home, saw signs of excitement around + his door in Rosemary Street. A knot of women and children awaited his + coming. Passing through them he soon learned what had happened. Poor Mrs. + Ginx! Without staying to think or argue, he took up the little stranger + and bore it from the room—— + </p> + <p> + “O, O, O, Ginx! Ginx!!” + </p> + <p> + She would have risen, but a strong power called weakness pulled her back. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + The man meanwhile had reached the street. + </p> + <p> + “Here he comes! There's the baby! He's going to do it, sure enough!” + shrieked the women. The children stood agape. He stopped to consider. It + is very well to talk about drowning your baby, but to do it you need two + things, water and opportunity. Vauxhall Bridge was the nearest way to the + former, and towards it Ginx turned. + </p> + <p> + “Stop him!” + </p> + <p> + “Murder!” + </p> + <p> + “Take the child from him!” + </p> + <p> + The crowd grew larger, and impeded the man's progress. Some of his + fellow-workmen stood by regarding the fun. + </p> + <p> + “Leave us aloan, naabors,” shouted Ginx; “this is my own baby, and I'll do + wot I likes with it. I kent keep it; an' if I've got anythin' I kent keep, + it's best to get rid of it, ain't it? This child's goin' over Wauxhall + Bridge.” + </p> + <p> + But the women clung to his arms and coattails. + </p> + <p> + “Hallo! What's all this about?” said a sharp, strong man, well-dressed, + and in good condition, coming up to the crowd; “another foundling! + Confound the place, the very stones produce babies. Where was it found?” + </p> + <p> + CHORUS (recognizing a deputy-relieving officer). It warn't found at all; + it's Ginx's baby. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. Ginx's baby? Who's Ginx? + </p> + <p> + GINX. I am. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. Well? + </p> + <p> + GINX. Well! + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. He's goin' to drown it. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. Going to drown it? Nonsense. + </p> + <p> + GINX. I am. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. But, bless my heart, that's murder! + </p> + <p> + GINX. No 'tain't. I've twelve already at home. Starvashon's sure to kill + this 'un. Best save it the trouble. + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Take it away, Mr. Smug, he'll kill it if you don't. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. Stuff and nonsense! Quite contrary to law! Why, man, you're bound + to support your child. You can't throw it off in that way;—nor on + the parish neither. Give me your name. I must get a magistrate's order. + The act of parliament is as clear as daylight. I had a man up under it + last week. “Whosoever shall unlawfully abandon or expose any child, being + under the age of two years whereby the life of such child shall be + endangered or the health of such child shall have been or shall be likely + to be permanently injured (drowning comes under that I think) shall be + GUILTY OF a MISDEMEANOR and being convicted thereof shall be liable at the + discretion of the court to be KEPT IN PENAL SERVITUDE for the term of + three years or to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years with + or without hard labor.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Smug, the officer, rolled out this section in a sonorous monotone, + without stops, like a clerk of the court. It was his pride to know by + heart all the acts relating to his department, and to bring them down upon + any obstinate head that he wished to crush. Ginx's head, however, was + impervious to an act of parliament. In his then temper, the Commination + Service or St. Ernulphus's curse would have been feathers to him. The only + feeling aroused in his mind by the words of the legislature was one of + resentment. To him they seemed unjust, because they were hard and fast, + and made no allowance for circumstances. So he said: + </p> + <p> + GINX. D—— the act of parliament! What's the use of saying I + shan't abandon the child, when I can't keep it alive? + </p> + <p> + OFFICER. But you're bound by law to keep it alive. + </p> + <p> + GINX. Bound to keep it alive? How am I to do it? There's the rest on 'em + there (nodding towards his house) little better nor alive now. If that's + an act of Parleyment, why don't the act of Parleyment provide for 'em? You + know what wages is, and I can't get more than is going. + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Yes. Why don't Parleyment provide for 'em? You take the child, Mr. + Smug. + </p> + <p> + OFFICER (regardless of grammar). ME take the child! The parish has enough + to do to take care of foundlings and children whose parents can't or don't + work. You don't suppose we will look after the children of those who can? + </p> + <p> + GINX. Jest so. You'll bring up bastards and beggars' pups, but you won't + help an honest man to keep his head above water. This child's head is + goin' under water anyhow!—and he prepared to bolt, amid fresh + screams from the Chorus. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VII.—Malthus and Man. + </h2> + <h3> + Two gentlemen, who had been observing the excitement, here came forward. + </h3> + <p> + FIRST GENTLEMAN. This is our problem again, Mr. Philosopher. + </p> + <p> + Mr. PHILOSOPHER (to Ginx). You don't know what to do with your infant, my + friend, and you think the State ought to provide for it? I understand you + to say this is your thirteenth child. How came you to have so many? + </p> + <p> + This question, though put with profound and even melancholy gravity, + disconcerted Ginx, Officer, and Chorus, who united in a hearty outburst of + laughter. + </p> + <p> + GINX. Haw, Haw, Haw! How came I to have so many? Why my old woman's a good + un and—— + </p> + <p> + In fact, after searching his mind for some clever way of putting a comical + rejoinder, Ginx laughed boisterously. There are two aspects of a question. + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER. I am serious, my friend. Did it never occur to you that you + had no right to bring children into the world unless you could feed and + clothe and educate them? + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Laws a' mercy! + </p> + <p> + GINX. I'd like to know how I could help it, naabor. I'm a married man. + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER. Well, I will go further and say you ought not to have married + without a fair prospect of being able to provide for any contingent + increase of family. + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Laws a' mercy! + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER (waxing warm). What right had you to marry a poor woman, and + then both of you, with as little forethought as two—a—dogs, or + other brutes—to produce between you such a multitudinous progeny— + </p> + <p> + GINX. Civil words, naabor; don't call my family hard names. + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER. Then let me say, such a monstrous number of children as + thirteen? You knew, as you said just now, that wages were wages and did + not vary much. And yet you have gone on subdividing your resources by the + increase of what must become a degenerate offspring. (To the Chorus) All + you workpeople are doing it. Is it not time to think about these things + and stop the indiscriminate production of human beings, whose lives you + cannot properly maintain? Ought you not to act more like reflective + creatures and less like brutes? As if breeding were the whole object of + life! How much better for you, my friend, if you had never married at all, + than to have had the worry of a wife and children all these years. + </p> + <p> + The philosopher had gone too far. There were some angry murmurs among the + women and Ginx's face grew dark. He was thinking of “all those years” and + the poor creature that from morning to night and Sunday to Sunday, in calm + and storm, had clung to his rough affections: and the bright eyes, and the + winding arms so often trellised over his tremendous form, and the coy + tricks and laughter that had cheered so many tired hours. He may have been + much of a brute, but he felt that, after all, that sort of thing was + denied to dogs and pigs. Before he could translate his thoughts into words + or acts a shrewd-looking, curly-haired stonemason, who stood by with his + tin on his arm, cut into the discussion. + </p> + <p> + STONEMASON. Your doctrines won't go down here, Mr. Philosopher. I've 'eard + of them before. I'd just like to ask you what a man's to do and what a + woman's to do if they don't marry: and if they do, how can you honestly + hinder them from having any children? + </p> + <p> + The stonemason had rudely struck out the cardinal issues of the question. + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER. Well, to take the last point first, there are physical and + ethical questions involved in it, which it is hard to discuss before such + an audience as this. + </p> + <p> + STONEMASON. But you must discuss 'em, if you wish us to change our ways, + and stop breeding. + </p> + <p> + PHILOSOPHER. Very well: perhaps you are right. But, again, I should first + have to establish a basis for my arguments, by showing that the conception + of marriage entertained by you all is a low one. It is not simply a + breeding matter. The beauty and value of the relation lies in its + educational effects—the cultivation of mutual sentiments and + refinements of great importance to a community. + </p> + <p> + STONEMASON. Ay! Very beautiful and refining to Mr. and Mrs. Philosopher, + but I'd like to know where the country would have been if our fathers had + held to that view of matrimony? Why, ain't it in natur' for all beings to + pair, and have young? an' you say we ain't to do it! I think a statesman + ought to make something out of what's nateral to human beings, and not try + to change their naturs. Besides, ain't there good of another kind to be + got out of the relation of parents and children? Did you ever have a child + yourself? + </p> + <p> + GINX (contemplating the Philosopher's physique). HE have a youngster! He + couldn't. + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Ha! Ha! Ha! + </p> + <p> + STONEMASON. I don't believe in yer humbuggin' notions. They lead to lust + and crime;—I'm told they do in France. If you yourself haven't the + human natur in you to know it, I'll tell you, and we can all tell you that + as a rule if the healthy desires of natur ain't satisfied in a honest way, + they will be in another. You can't stop eating by passin' an act of + Parleyment to stop it. And as for yer eddication and cultivation, that + makes no difference. We know something here about yer eddicated men;—more + than they think. Who is it we meet about the streets late at night, goin' + to the gay houses? Some of 'em stand near as high as you, but that don't + alter their natur. They have their passions like other men; and eddication + don't keep 'em down. Well, if that's the case, how can you ask people of + our sort to put on the curb, or make us do it? Are we to live more like + beasts than we are now, or do what's worse than murder? I don't see no + other way. Among us I tell you, sir, three-fourths of our eddication, is + eddication of the heart. We have to learn to be human, kind, self-denyin', + and I think this makes better men, as a rule, than head-larnin'; tho' I + don't despise that, neither. But you don't suppose head-citizens would + fight for their country like men with wives and children behind 'em; why + they don't even at home work for daily food like a man with wife and + babies to provide for! + </p> + <p> + The stonemason was above his class—one of those shrewd men that “the + people called Methodists” get hold of, and use among the lower orders, + under the name of “local preachers;” men who learn to think and speak + better than their fellows. The Philosopher testified some admiration by + listening attentively, and was about to reply, but the Chorus was tired, + and the women would not hear him. + </p> + <p> + CHORUS. Best get out o' this. We don't want any o' yer filhosophy. Go and + get childer' of yer own, &c., &c. + </p> + <p> + The Philosopher and his friend departed, carrying with them unsolved the + problem they had brought. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VIII.—The Baby's First Translation. + </h2> + <p> + The stonemason had been the hero of the moment; now attention centred on + our own hero. Ginx hurried off again, but as the crowd opened before him, + he was met, and his mad career stayed, by a slight figure, feminine, + draped in black to the feet, wearing a curiously framed white-winged hood + above her pale face, and a large cross suspended from her girdle. He could + not run her down. + </p> + <p> + NUN. Stop, MAN! Are you mad? Give me the child. + </p> + <p> + He placed the little bundle in her arms. She uncovered the queer, ruby + face, and kissed it. Ginx had not looked at the face before, but after + seeing it, and the act of this woman, he could not have touched a hair of + his child's head. His purpose died from that moment, though his perplexity + was still alive. + </p> + <p> + NUN. Let me have it. I will take it to the Sisters' Home, and it shall + live there. Your wife may come and nurse it. We will take charge of it. + </p> + <p> + GINX. And you won't send it back again? You'll take it for good and all? + </p> + <p> + NUN. O, yes. + </p> + <p> + GINX. Good. Give us yer hand. + </p> + <p> + A little white hand came out from under her burthen, and was at once + half-crushed in Ginx's elephantine grasp. + </p> + <p> + GINX. Done. Thank'ee, missus. Come, mates, I'll stand a drink. + </p> + <p> + A few minutes after, the woman of the cross, who had been up to comfort + the poor mother, fluttered with her white wings down Rosemary Street, + carrying in her arms Ginx's Baby. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART2" id="link2H_PART2"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART II. WHAT CHARITY AND THE CHURCHES DID WITH HIM. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I.—The Milk of Human Kindness, Mother's Milk, and the Milk of the + Word. + </h2> + <p> + The early days of his residence at the Home of the Sisters of Misery, in + Winkle Street, was the Eden of Ginx's Baby's existence. Themselves + innocent of a mother's experiences, the sisters were free to give play to + their affections in a novel direction, and to assume a sort of spiritual + maternity that was lucky for the changeling. He was nestled in kind + serge-covered arms: kisses rained upon him from chaste lips. A slight + scandal thrilled the convent upon the discovery of his sex, which had of + course been a pure matter of conjecture to Sister Pudicitia when she + rescued him; but enthusiasm can overcome anything. The awkward questions + foreshadowed in the discovery were left to be considered when their + growing importance should demand upon them the judgment of the archbishop. + Visions of an unusual sanctity to be fostered in the pure regions of the + convent, and to be sent on a mission into the world to attest the power of + their spiritual discipline, began to haunt the brains of the sequestered + nuns. Might not this infant be an embryo saint, destined for a great work + in the heretical wilderness out of which he had come? How little healthy + food the brains must have had wherein these insane dreams were excited by + our innocent baby! Hardly did the sacred spinsters forecast what was in + store for them when he should be teething. + </p> + <p> + But Ginx's Baby was in a religious atmosphere, and that is always + surcharged with electricity. His lot must have been above that of any + other human being if he could long have remained in such a climate + unvisited by thunder. The mother had been permitted to attend at the Home + with the same regularity as the milkman, to discharge her maternal duties. + Then with the rise of the visionary projects just mentioned the gravest + doubts began to agitate the fertile and casuistic mind of the Lady + Superior. The holier her ideal St. Ginx of the future, the more to be + deplored was any heretical taint in the present. Holy mother! Was it not + perhaps eminently perilous to his spiritual purity that an unbeliever like + Mrs. Ginx should bring unconsecrated milk into the convent to be + administered to this suckling of the Church! In her uneasiness she + appealed to Father Certificatus, the conventual confessor. He gave his + opinion in the following letter:— + </p> + <p> + “DEAR SISTER SUSPICIOSA, + </p> + <p> + “The very grave question you have put to me has given me much anxiety. It + could not but do so since it occupied, I knew, so fully your own holy + reflections. I pondered it during the night while I repeated one hundred + Aves on my knees, and I think the Blessed Virgin has vouchsafed her + assistance. + </p> + <p> + “I understood you to say you thought that the physical health of the + infant, so singularly and miraculously thrown upon your care, required the + offices of his heretic mother, and yet that you felt how inconsistent it + was with the noble future we contemplate for him, that he should receive + unorthodox lacteal sustentation. In this you are but following the usage + of the Church in all ages, for She has ever enjoined the advantage of + infusing Her doctrines into Her children with the mother's milk. + </p> + <p> + “Three courses only appear to me to be open to us. First, we may try to + work upon the mother's feelings, and on behalf of her child induce her to + avail herself of the inestimable privileges of the Church in which he is + fostered. Secondly, should she repel us—and these lower class + heretics are even brutally refractory—we might at least allure her + to allow us to make with holy water the sign of the Cross upon the natural + reservoirs of infant nourishment each time before she approaches the + infant. This, besides overcoming the immediate difficulty and securing for + the child a supply of sanctified food, might open the way for the entrance + into her own bosom of the milk of the word. Thirdly, should she reject + these proposals, I see nothing for it but to forbid her to have access to + her infant, and, commending him to the care of the Holy Mother, to feed + him with pap or other suitable nourishment, previously consecrated by me + in its crude state, and prepared by the most holy hands of your community. + Thus we may hope to shield the young soul in its present freshness from + contact with carnal elements. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Your loving Father in, &c., + “CERTIFICATUS.” + </pre> + <p> + On receiving this letter the Superioress conferred not with flesh and + blood, but sent for Mrs. Ginx. That worthy woman was not enchanted with + her child's position. I have hinted that her faith was simple, but in + proportion to its simplicity it was strongly-rooted in her nature. 'Tis + not infrequent to find it so. Lengthy creeds and confessions of faith are + apt to extend the strength and fervor of belief over too wide a surface. + In the close frame of some single article will be concentrated the whole + energy of the soul. The first formula, “Repent and believe in the Lord + Jesus Christ,” was maintained with a heat that became less intense, though + more distributed, in the insertion of an Athanasian creed. Mrs. Ginx's + creed was succinct. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. GINX'S PRIMARY CREED. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + I believe in God, giver of bread, meat, money, and health. +</pre> + <p> + This she maintained, with indifferent ritual and devotional observances. + But there was to Mrs. Ginx's faith a corollary or secondary creed, only + needed to meet special emergencies. + </p> + <p> + Mrs. GINX'S SECONDARY CREED. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + 1. I believe in the Church of England. + 2. I believe in Heaven and Hell. + 3. (A negative article) I hate Popery, priests, and the Devil. +</pre> + <p> + When her husband made his fatal gift to the nun, this third article of his + wife's belief, or unbelief, stirred up and waxed aggressive. + </p> + <p> + Said the Lady Superior, “My good woman, your child thrives under the care + of Holy Mother Church.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes'm, he thrives well,” replies Mrs. Ginx, repeating no more of Sister + Suspiciosa's sentence, “an' I've 'ad more milk than ever for the darlin' + this time, thank God.” + </p> + <p> + “And the Holy Virgin.” + </p> + <p> + “I dunno about her,” cries Mrs. Ginx emphatically, perhaps not seeing + congruity between a virgin and the subject of thankfulness. + </p> + <p> + “And the Holy Virgin,” repeated the nun, “who interests herself in all + mothers. She has thus blessed you that your child may be made strong for + the work of the Church. Do you not see a miracle is worked within you to + prove Her goodness? This, no doubt, is an evidence to you of Her wish to + bless you and take you for Her own. I beseech you listen to Her voice, and + come and enter Her fold.” + </p> + <p> + “If you mean the Virgin Mary, mum, I ain't a idolater, beggin' yer + parding,” says Mrs. Ginx; “an' tho' I wouldn't for the world offend them + as has been so kind to my child, an' saved it from that deer little + creetur bein' thrown over Wauxhall Bridge—an' Ginx ought to be + ashamed of hisself, so he ought—I ain't Papish, mum, and I ain't + dispoged, with twelve on 'em there at home all Protestant to the back + bone, to turn Papish now, an' so I 'ope an' pray, mum,” says Mrs. Ginx, + roaring and crying, “you ain't agoin' to make Papish of my flesh an' + blood. O dear! O dear!” + </p> + <p> + The Lady Superior shut her ears; she had raised a familiar spirit and + could not lay it. She temporized. + </p> + <p> + “You know your husband has given the child to us. It will be called the + infant Ambrosius.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear, dear!” sighed Mrs. Ginx, “what a name!” + </p> + <p> + “We wish him to be kept from any worldly taint, and by-and-by his + saintliness may gain you forgiveness in spite of your heretical + perversity. I cannot permit you to give him unconsecrated milk, and as we + wish to treat you kindly, the holy Father Certificatus has allowed me to + make an arrangement with you, to which you can have no objection—I + mean, that you should let me make the sign of the cross upon your breasts + morning and evening before you suckle your infant. You will permit me to + do that, won't you?” + </p> + <p> + Conceive of Mrs. Ginx's reply, clothed in choice Westminster English: it + asserted her readiness to cut off her right hand, her feet, to be hanged, + drowned, burned, torn to pieces, in fact to withstand all the torments + ascribed by vulgar tradition to Roman Catholic ingenuity, and to see her + baby “a dead corpse” into the bargain, before she would submit her + Protestant bosom to such an indignity. + </p> + <p> + “No, mum!” she said; “I couldn't sleep with that on my breast;” and cried + hysterically. + </p> + <p> + This lower class heretic WAS “brutally refractory.” So thought the + Superioress, and so gave Mrs. Ginx notice to come no more. She went home + rather jubilant—she was a martyr. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II.—The Protestant Detectoral Association. + </h2> + <p> + Ginx's baby was now fed on consecrated pap. But his mother was not a woman + to be silent under her wrongs. From her husband she hid them, because the + subject was forbidden. She poured out her complaint to Mrs. Spittal and + other Protestant matrons. Thus it came to pass that one day, in Ginx's + absence, the good woman was surprised by a visit from a “gentleman.” He + was small, sharp, rapid, dressed in black. He opened his business at once. + </p> + <p> + “Mrs. Ginx? Ah! I am the agent of the Protestant Detectoral Association.” + </p> + <p> + Mrs. Ginx wiped her best chair and set it for him. + </p> + <p> + “By great good fortune the secretary received only half an hour ago + intelligence of the shocking instance of Papal aggression of which you + have been the victim.” + </p> + <p> + To hear her case put so grandly was honey to Mrs. Ginx. + </p> + <p> + “Well now,” continued the little man, “we are ready to render you every + assistance to save your child from the claws of the Great Dragon. I wish + to know the exact circumstances—let me see—(opening a large + pocket book) I have this memorandum: the child was carried off from his + mother's bedside in broad daylight by a nun accompanied by two priests and + a large body of Irish: is that a correct version?” + </p> + <p> + “Law, no, sir, it warn't quite like that,” said Mrs. Ginx. “We've 'ad so + many on 'em that Ginx was for drownin' the thirteenth”——The + little man opened his eyes—— + </p> + <p> + “An' he went and gave it away, sir,” said she crying, “to a nun, sir—ah! + ah! ah!—they won't let me see the darlin' now, sir—ah! ah! ah! + because I won't let Missis Spishyosir mark me with the cross, sir, an' me + with as fine a breast o' milk as ever was for 'im, sir—ah! ah! ah!” + </p> + <p> + “Hem!” said the little man, “that's different from what I understood.” + </p> + <p> + He was quite honest, but who does not know how disappointing it is to find + a wrong you wish to redress is not so bad as you had hoped? + </p> + <p> + However, it looked bad enough, and might be made worse. It was the very + case for the Protestant Detectoral Association. + </p> + <p> + “Would Mr. Ginx not join in an effort to recover his child?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir; I should think not: he went an' gave it away.” + </p> + <p> + “I know; but he is a Protestant?” + </p> + <p> + “I don't think he be much o' anything, sir. I know he hate priests like + pison, but he don't care about these things as I do.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! I see.” Writes in his memorandum book—husband indifferent. + </p> + <p> + “But don't you think he would help you to get the child back again?” + </p> + <p> + “No, sir. I wouldn't speak of it to him for the world. He'd knock any one + down if they was to mention the child to him.” + </p> + <p> + The little man mentally determined not to see Ginx. + </p> + <p> + “Well; would you like to have your child back?” + </p> + <p> + “You see, I couldn't bring it 'ere, sir. Ginx won't 'ave it; but I'd like + to see it took away from them nunnerys.” + </p> + <p> + “Ha! very well then. We can perhaps manage it for you. You would be + content to hand it over to some Protestant Home, where it would be taken + care of and you could see it when you liked?” + </p> + <p> + “O yes, sir,” cries Mrs. Ginx, brightening. + </p> + <p> + “Then we'll have an affidavit and apply for a Habeas Corpus.” + </p> + <p> + It was impossible not to be satisfied with such words as these, whatever + they meant and Mrs. Ginx was cheered, while the little man went on his + way. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III.—The Sacrament of Baptism. + </h2> + <p> + Mother, or “Mrs.” Suspiciosa, fed Ginx's Baby with holy pap. It seemed + proper now that he should be christened and formally received into the + Church. No small stir was made by this ceremony, for which all the + resources of the convent were called into action. The day selected was + that sacred to St. Ambrosius. The chapel was decorated with flowers. Mass + was celebrated, candles flamed upon the altar surrounding a figure of the + Infant Jesus, incense was burning around the baby, sisters and novices + knelt in serried rows of virginity + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “like doves + Sunning their milky bosoms on the thatch.” + </pre> + <p> + Mother Suspiciosa carried the infant, clothed in a pure white robe, with a + red cross embroidered on its front. In the absence of the natural parent a + wax figure of St. Ambrosius did duty for him, and another wax figure stood + godfather: but I dare not enter into details of matters that may be looked + at as awfully profane, or awfully solemn, by different spectators. These + things are a mystery. + </p> + <p> + I have no hesitation about describing the impious behavior of little Ginx. + Whatever swaddled infant could do in the way of opposition, with hands, + and legs, and voice, was done by that embryo saint. The incense made him + cough and sputter; the lights and singing raised the very devil within + him. His cries drowned the prayers. He frightened his conductress by the + redness of his face. He ruined the red cross with ejected matter. You + would have taken him for an infant demoniac. Mother Suspiciosa, though + annoyed, was encouraged. She looked upon this as an evident testimony to + little Ginx's value. The devil and St. Michael were contending for his + body. At length he was baptized, and carried out. Credat Judaeus. He + instantly sank into a deep sleep. It was a miracle: Satan had yielded to + the sign of the cross! + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0015" id="link2H_4_0015"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV.—Law on Behalf of Gospel. + </h2> + <p> + In the moment of Sister Suspiciosa's triumph, the enemy was laying his + train against her. The little man made his report to the secretary of the + Protestant Detectoral Association. This gentleman was well-born and + well-bred; moved to work in this “cause” by an honest hatred of + superstition, priestcraft, and lies; now giving all his energies to the + ambitious design of pulling down the strongholds of Satan. In any other + matter he could act coolly, and with deliberation; in this he was an + enthusiast. He had a keen Roman nose. He could scent a priest anywhere in + the United Kingdom. He could smell Jesuitry in the Queen's drawing-room, a + cabinet council or convocation, though he had never been at either. His + eye was beyond a falcon's; he saw things that were invisible. It + penetrated through all disguises. He knew a secret emissary of the Pope by + the cock of his hat, or the color of his stockings. At least, he thought + so, and thousands of persons acted on his estimate of himself. + </p> + <p> + “This case,” said he to the little man, when he had concluded his report, + “though not in its first incidents so grave as we were led to expect, is, + in another point of view, very serious. Here is a man, as you have + expressed it, 'indifferent' to his child's life—animal and + spiritual. The mother, with a true Protestant heart, and a fine breast of + milk, is longing to nurture her child, and to deliver it from the toils of + the Papacy. But the husband, what's his name?.... Ginx—Ginx? a very + bad name for a case, by the way—GINX'S CASE!—this Ginx has + given up his child to the Sisters of Misery. How are we to get it away + again, without his cooperation?.... Well, we must try.” + </p> + <p> + The solicitor of the Association was forthwith summoned. When the matter + had been laid before him, he expressed doubts, offered and withdrew + courses of action, and ended by suggesting that he should take the opinion + of counsel. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Stigma, I suppose?” said he to the secretary. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, yes, Sir Adolphus Stigma is one of our principal supporters, and his + son's heart is thoroughly with us.” + </p> + <p> + Messrs. Roundhead, Roundhead and Lollard, drew up a case to be submitted + to Mr. Stigma. I will only transcribe the latter paragraphs:— + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ginx being indifferent, and Mrs. Ginx being ready to assist in + regaining the custody of her child, to be conveyed to a Protestant Home, + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “YOU ARE REQUESTED TO ADVISE: +</pre> + <p> + “1. Whether a summons should be taken out before a magistrate against the + Lady Superior of the convent, for enticing away or detaining the infant, + under the 56th sect. of 24 and 25 Vict., c. 100 Or, + </p> + <p> + “2. Whether the proper remedy is by a writ of Habeas Corpus? and, if so, + whether it is necessary that the father should be joined in the + proceedings or his leave obtained to prosecute them? Or, failing these, + </p> + <p> + “3. Whether counsel is of opinion that this is a case within Talfourd's + Act, and an application might not be made to the Lord Chancellor, or the + Master of the Rolls, on the mother's behalf for the custody of her child? + And, + </p> + <p> + “4. To advise generally on behalf of the infant.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Adolphus Stigma took ten days to consider. Meanwhile, the infant + Ambrosius continued to thrive on conventual pap. Then Mr. Stigma wrote his + opinion. It was a model for a barrister. You took the advice at your own + peril—not his. Therefore I transcribe it. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “OPINION. +</pre> + <p> + “I have given to this case my most careful attention; and it is one of + great difficulty. Having regard to the questions put to me, I think— + </p> + <p> + “1. Section 56 of the Act of 24 and 25 Vict., c. 100, appears at first + sight to be directed against the stealing and abduction of children for + marriage, or other improper purposes. It provides that 'Whosoever shall + UNLAWFULLY, either by force or fraud, lead or take away, or decoy, or + entice away, or detain any child, &c., with intent to deprive ANY + parent, &c., of the possession of such child'—shall be guilty of + felony. It is perfectly clear, that in the case before me, the infant was + not, 'by force or fraud, led or taken away, or decoyed, or enticed away.' + The statute, however, uses the word 'detain;' and this, it appears to me, + has much the same force and intention as the previous words. It is to be + noted, however, that it is separated from them by the disjunctive 'or;' + and, therefore, it might be argued with some plausibility that any act of + forceful or fraudulent detention, after notice, by persons who have + originally acquired a child's custody in a lawful way, came within the + section. The point is new, and of great importance; and if the Protestant + Detectoral Association feel disposed to try it, they would do so under + favorable circumstances in the present case. Should they decide to do so, + a written demand should be served upon the authorities of the convent, by + the mother, or some one acting on her behalf, to give up the infant. + </p> + <p> + “2. The second question is also involved in difficulty. Were the father to + be joined in the proceedings, the writ of Habeas Corpus would be the + correct remedy. But his probable refusal necessitates the inquiry whether + the mother can alone apply for the writ. The general rule of law is, that + the father is entitled to the custody and disposition of his children. In + Cartlidge and Cartlidge, 31, L. J., P. M. & D. 85, it was held that + this rule would not be generally departed from by the Divorce Court; but + in Barnes v. Barnes, L. R. I, P. & D. 463, the court made an order, + giving the custody of two infant children to the mother, respondent in a + suit for a dissolution of marriage, on the ground that the mother's health + was suffering from being deprived of their society, and that they were + living with a stranger, and not with the father. These cases were, + however, in the Divorce Court, and do not apply. But, as there seems to be + much ground in the peculiar circumstances here, for arguing that the + mother should have the custody of the child, or, at least, that it should + not be left to that of persons of a different religion from both parents, + an application might be made to the Queen's Bench to try the question. + </p> + <p> + “3. Should the common law remedies fail, resort may perhaps be had to the + powers in Chancery under Talfourd's Act, but on this point I should like + to confer with an equity counsel before giving a decided opinion. It has + been decided under this Act that the court has power to give the custody + of children under seven to the mother. (Shillito v. Collett, 8, W. R. + 683-696.) As this infant is but six weeks old it comes within that case. + </p> + <p> + “4. I have no general advice to give on behalf of the infant. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “ADOLPHUS STIGMA, + “9, Plumtree Court.” + </pre> + <p> + If none of the courses suggested by Mr. Stigma was very decided, Messrs. + Roundhead, Roundhead and Lollard were not sorry to have three strings to + their bow. The Detectoral Association were good clients; most of their + funds went into their lawyers' pockets. It was part of their policy to be + litigious. Thereby the world was kept alive to the existence of Papacy + within its bosom. Who shall say the Association were wrong? Some healthy + daylight was occasionally let in upon the mysteries of Jesuitism, and + there are people who think that worth while at the risk of a chance + injustice. Though the Devil should not get his due, few would give him any + sympathy. + </p> + <p> + The solicitor at once instructed Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q.C., to apply with + Mr. Stigma to a magistrate for a summons. Mr. Bailey, Q.C., was not chosen + for his partialities. In religious matters he was a perfect Gallio; but he + was like St. Paul in one particular, he could be all things to all men. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0016" id="link2H_4_0016"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V.—Magistrate's Law. + </h2> + <p> + The personnel of the magistrate to whom Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q. C., (with + him Mr. Adolphus Stigma), applied in the case of re an infant, exparte + Ginx, is not material to this history. He was like his fellow + stipendiaries—mild as to humor, vigilant in his duties, opinionated + in his views, resenting the troublesome intrusion into his court of a + barrister, apt to treat him with about one-eighth of the courtesy extended + to the humblest junior by the Queen's Bench, and curiously unequal both + with himself and his brother magistrates in adjusting punishment. It will + be most convenient to insert the report of the Daily Electric Meteor:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “WESTMINSTER. +</pre> + <p> + “Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q.C., (with whom was Mr. Adolphus Stigma), applied for + a summons against Mary Dens, commonly called Sister Suspiciosa, of the + convent of the Sisters of Misery, in Winkle Street, for abducting and + detaining a male child of John Ginx and Mary his wife. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY. On whose behalf do you apply? + </p> + <p> + “The learned counsel stated that he was instructed by the Protestant + Detectoral Association to apply on behalf of the mother. The case was also + watched by the solicitors of the Society for Preventing the Suppression of + Women and Children. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY. Does the father join in the application? + </p> + <p> + “Mr. BAILEY. No, sir. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY. Why? He ought to be joined if living. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. BAILEY. Perhaps you will allow me, sir, to state the case. The + circumstances are peculiar. The fact is—— + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY. I cannot understand why the father should not be + represented if the child has been abducted. Where was it taken from? + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Bailey proceeded to state that the child had been taken by a nun from + No. 5, Rosemary Street, without the mother's consent, and was now + imprisoned in the convent. The father appeared to be indifferent, or to + have given a sort of general acquiescence. This was Mrs. Ginx's thirteenth + child, around whom gathered the concentrated affections + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY (interrupting the learned gentleman). We have no time for + sentiment here, Mr. Bailey. If the father consented, can you call it + abduction? It looks like reduction. (Laughter.) + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Bailey called attention to the consolidated statutes of criminal law, + and said he was going for illegal detention rather than abduction, and + argued at great length from section 56. At the conclusion of the argument, + after refusing to hear Mr. Stigma, + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'Acerbity said that the case clearly did not come within the + section, and he was afraid the learned counsel knew it. The father had + been a consenting party, on the counsel's own statement, to the child's + removal, and no suggestion had been made that he had withdrawn his + consent. He should refuse a summons. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. Bailey endeavored to address the magistrate but was stopped. + </p> + <p> + “Mr. D'ACERBITY. I have no more to say. You can apply to the Queen's + Bench. I have no sympathy with you whatever.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. D'Acerbity's law was good, but—what has justice to do with + “sympathies?” Surely the day after this report appeared the magistrate + must have had a letter from the Home Secretary? + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0017" id="link2H_4_0017"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI-Popery and Protestantism in the Queen's Bench. + </h2> + <p> + The application to the magistrate was far from satisfactory. There had not + even been an exposure, and the Windmill Bulletin gayly bantered the + Detectoral Association. Meanwhile had happened the grand christening, of + which a circumstantial account was in the hands of the council of the + Detectoral Association shortly after the ceremony had been performed. Here + was a monstrous indignity to a Protestant child! The account was at once + printed, together with a verbatim report of the application to the + magistrate as well as one of “a conversation held with the mother by an + agent of the Association.” Board-men paraded the great thoroughfares + carrying this appeal:— + </p> + <p> + PROTESTANT DETECTORAL ASSOCIATION. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + NO POPERY! + Abduction Of an Infant! + Assault on the Liberty of the Subject! + Mysterious and Awful Proceedings! + Baptism of a Protestant Child in a Convent! + + OUTRAGE + Upon the Nation by Foreign Mercenaries! + Every Father and Mother is Invited to Co-operate in + Maintaining the + PROTESTANT RELIGION, + The Sanctity of Home, and the Inviolability of + BRITISH FREEDOM! + + NO SURRENDER! +</pre> + <p> + If there was no coherency in this production, it should be noted how + little that is of the essence of popular appeal. The metropolis was in an + uproar. Meetings were held, subscriptions poured in, dangerous crowds + collected in Winkle Street. When Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q. C., went down to + Westminster, to move the Court of Queen's Bench, multitudes besieged it. + Protestant champions and Papal ecclesiastics vied in their efforts to get + seats. The writ had gone from judge's chambers returnable to the full + court. Sister Suspiciosa, bearing the infant Ambrosius, and supported by + two novices and Father Certificatus, had been smuggled into court through + mysterious passages in its rear. Mrs. Ginx also, brought from Rosemary + Street by the little man who provided her with a bonnet trimmed with + orange-colored ribbons, sat staring with red eyes at her child, now + enveloped in a robe that was embroidered with little crosses. + </p> + <p> + Why need I tell you, how dead silence fell upon the Court after the stir + caused by the entrance of the judges; how everybody knew what was coming + when a master beneath the bench rose, and called out, “Re Ginx, an infant, + Exparte Mary Ginx!” How the Chief Justice, fresh and rosy-looking, then + blew his nose in a delicate mauve-colored silk handkerchief: how he tried + and discarded half-a-dozen pens, amid breathless silence; how in his + blandest manner he said: “Who appears for the Respondent?” and Mr. Dignam + Bailey, Q. C., and Mr. Octavius Ernestus, Q. C., rose together to say that + Mr. Ernestus did! + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ernestus was a Catholic. He was assisted by half-a-dozen counsel. He + riddled the affidavits on the other side, and read voluminous ones on his + own; bitterly animadverted upon the absence of an affidavit by the father; + held up to the scorn of a civilized world the course pursued towards his + meek and gentle clients by the “fanatical zealots of the Protestant + Detectoral Association;” in moving tones referred to the shrinking of + “quiet recluses, from the gaze of a rude, unsympathizing world;” cited + cases from the time of Magna Charta, down; called upon the Court to + vindicate Protestant justice, ending his peroration with the aphorism of + Lord Mansfield, Fiat justitia ruat caelum. + </p> + <p> + One cannot do Justice to Mr. Dignam Bailey's argument, when after lunch he + rose to reply. He was logical and passionate, vindictive and pathetic by + turns. He inveighed against the Lady Superior, against her attorneys, + against Father Certificatus, against Ginx,—“craven to his + heaven-born rights of political and religious freedom,”—against the + Roman Catholic religion, the Pope, the Archbishop of Westminster, the + Virgin Mary. The Court knew, and every one else knew, that this was pure + pyrotechny, and Mr. Bailey knew that best of all; but, though the Bench is + swift to speak, slow to hear, it felt obliged, in a case of this public + interest, to sit by, and be witnesses of the exhibition. Mr. Bailey + concluded by a play on the aphorism cited by his learned friend. “He would + say that if such justice were to be done, as his friend had urged, the + Kingdom of Heaven in England would rush to its fall.” + </p> + <p> + The Court at once decided that, as the father had confided the custody of + the infant to the Sisters of Misery, and did not appear to desire that it + should be withdrawn, they, disregarding the religious clouds in which the + subject had been too carefully involved on both sides, gave judgment for + the defendant, with costs. + </p> + <p> + As they passed out of Court, Mr. Stigma said to his clients, “Quite as I + anticipated; you remember I told you so in my Opinion.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0018" id="link2H_4_0018"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VII.—A Protestor, but not a Protestant. + </h2> + <p> + The infant Ambrosius and his conductors could scarcely reach the convent + in safety. The building showed few windows to the street, but they were + all broken. What might have happened in a few days, but that Ginx's Baby + took the matter into his own hands, none can say. + </p> + <p> + The treatment to which the little saint was subjected soured his temper. + His kind nurses had choked him twice a day with incense, and now he had + inhaled for seven hours the air of the Queen's Bench. On his return to the + convent he was hastily fed, and carried to the chapel to give thanks for + the victory of the day. Wrapped in a handsome chasuble, they laid him on + the steps of the altar. In the most solemn part of the service he coughed, + and grew sick. The chasuble was bespattered. When the officiating priest, + to save that garment, took the child in his arms, he nefariously polluted + the sacerdotal vestments and the altar steps. Then he kicked toward the + altar itself, roared lustily, and finally went into convulsions in Sister + Suspiciosa's arms. Like most women, the Lady Superior required her + enthusiasm to be fed with success. She began to think that she had been + cozened: Ginx's Baby was too evidently a spiritual miscarriage. He must, + like the rest of his family, be, indeed, “Protestant to the backbone.” + Father Certificatus agreed with her. His robes and best chasuble were + befouled. + </p> + <p> + “Let us not risk a repetition of this conduct,” said he; “let the child be + given up. He is baptized, and cannot be severed from the Church. He will + return after many days.” + </p> + <p> + Next morning the solicitors of the Protestant Detectoral Association + received a letter from their opponents. In this they said that—presuming + Messrs. Roundhead, Roundhead, and Lollard, intended to apply to the Master + of the Rolls, the authorities of the convent had decided, after having + vindicated themselves in the Queen's Bench, to give up the child, which + would be, for twenty-four hours, at the order and disposal of the + Association, and afterwards of his parents. “We are instructed by our + clients,” they added, “to ask you to bear in mind that the child has been + admitted, and is a member of the Catholic Church, owing allegiance to the + Holy Father at Rome, a bond from which only the Papal excommunication can + absolve him.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0019" id="link2H_4_0019"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VIII.—“See how these Christians love one another.” + </h2> + <p> + A mass-meeting of Protestants had been summoned for three o'clock on the + day designated in the letter of the Papist attorneys, to be held in the + Philopragmon Hall. That was the favorite centre of countless movements, + both well-meant and well-executed, and of others as futile as they were + foolish. Yet one could not say that a larger proportion of the latter were + connected with the Hall than existed in as many other human enterprises of + any sort. The concession of the Romanists at first dashed the managers of + the demonstration. Their grievance was gone. Still there remained topics + for a meeting: they would rejoice over victory, and consult about the + future of the Protestant Baby. + </p> + <p> + The Secretary was an old hand at these meetings. He planned to import into + this one a sensation. Ginx's Baby, brought from the convent, stripped of + his papal swathings and enveloped in a handsome outfit presented by an + amiable Protestant Duchess, was placed in a cradle with his head resting + on a Bible. I am afraid he was quite as uncomfortable as he had ever been + at the convent. When, at the conclusion of the chairman's speech, in which + he informed the audience of their triumph, this exhibition was deftly + introduced upon the platform, the huzzas, and clappings, and waving of + handkerchiefs were such as even that place had never seen. The child was + astounded into quietness. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Trumpeter took the chair—believed by many to be, next to the + Queen, the most powerful defender of the faith in the three kingdoms. I + never could understand why the newspapers reported his speeches—I + cannot. + </p> + <p> + When he had done, Lord Evergood, “a popular, practical peer, of sound + Protestant principles,” as the Daily Banner alliteratively termed him next + morning, rose to move the first resolution, already cut and dried by the + committee— + </p> + <p> + “That the infant so happily rescued from the incubus of a delusive + superstition, should be remitted to the care of the Church Widows' and + Orphans' Augmentation Society, and should be supported by voluntary + contributions.” + </p> + <p> + Before Lord Evergood could say a word murmurs arose in every part of the + hall. He was a mild, gentlemanly Christian, without guile, and the + opposition both surprised and frightened him. He uttered a few sentences + in approval of his proposition and sat down. + </p> + <p> + An individual in the gallery shouted—“Sir! I rise to move an + amendment!” + </p> + <p> + Cheers, and cries of “Order! order! Sit down!” &c. + </p> + <p> + The Chairman, with great blandness, said: “The gentleman is out of order; + the resolution has not yet been seconded. I call upon the Rev. Mr. Valpy + to second the resolution.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Valpy, incumbent of St. Swithin's-within, insisted on speaking, but + what he said was known only to himself. When he had finished there was an + extraordinary commotion. On the platform many ministers and laymen jumped + to their feet; in the hall at least a hundred aspirants for a hearing + raised themselves on benches or the convenient backs of friends. + </p> + <p> + The Chairman shouted, “Order! ORDER, gentlemen! This is a great occasion; + let us show unanimity!” + </p> + <p> + There seemed to be an unanimous desire to speak. Amid cheers, cries for + order, and Kentish fire, you could hear the Rev. Mark Slowboy, + Independent, the Rev. Hugh Quickly, Wesleyan, the Rev. Bereciah Calvin, + Presbyterian, the Rev. Ezekiel Cutwater, Baptist, calling to the chair. + </p> + <p> + A lull ensued, of which advantage was taken by Mr. Stentor, a well-known + Hyde Park orator, who bellowed from a friend's shoulders in the pit, “Mr. + Chairman, hear ME!” an appeal that was followed by roars of laughter. + </p> + <p> + What was the matter? Why the proposal to hand over the baby to an Anglican + refuge stirred up the blood of every Dissenter present. It was lifting the + infant out of the frying-pan and dexterously dropping him into the fire. + But the chairman was accustomed to these scenes. He stayed the tumult by + proposing that a representative from each denomination should give his + opinion to the audience. “Whom would they have first?” + </p> + <p> + The loudest cries were for Mr. Cutwater, who stood forth—a weak, + stooping, half-halting, little man, with a limp necktie, and trousers + puffy at the knees—but with honest use of them, let me say. It is + quite credible that if Dr. Watts's assertion be true that— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Satan trembles when he sees + The weakest saint upon his knees,” + </pre> + <p> + that arch-enemy was unusually perturbed when Ezekiel Cutwater was upon + his. On these he had borne manly contests with evil. Two things—yea, + three—were rigid in Ezekiel's creed; fire would never have burned + them out of him: hatred of Popery, contempt of Anglican priestcraft and + apostolic succession, and adhesion to the dogma of adult baptism and total + immersion. Whoso should not join with him in these let him be Anathema + Maranatha. + </p> + <p> + His eye kindled as he looked at the seething audience. “Sir,” said he, “I + beg to move an amendment to the motion of the noble lord. (Cheers.) That + motion proposes to transfer to the care of the Established Church this + tender and unconscious infant (bending over Ginx's baby), just snatched + from the toils of a kindred superstition. (Oh, oh, hisses and cheers.) I + withdraw the expression; I did not mean to be offensive. (Hear.) This is a + grand representative meeting—not of the English Church, not of the + Baptist Church, not of the Wesleyan Church—but of Protestantism. + (Cheers and Kentish fire.) In such an assembly is it right to propose any + singular disposition of a representative infant? This is now the adopted + child, not of one, but of all denominations. (Cheers.) Around his, or her—I + am not sure which—cherubic head circle the white-winged angels of + various Churches, and on her or him, whichever it may be——” + </p> + <p> + The Chairman said that he might as well say that he had authentic + information that it was HIM. + </p> + <p> + “Him then—concentrate the sympathies of every Protestant heart. Let + us not despoil the occasion of its greatness by exhibiting a narrow + bigotry in one direction! Let us bring into this infantile focus the rays + of Catholic unity. (Loud cheering and Kentish fire.) To me, for one, it + would be eminently painful to think—what doubtless would occur if + the motion is adopted—that within a week of his entrance into the + asylum of the society named in it, this diminutive and unknowing sinner + should go through the farce of a supposititious admission into the Church + of Christ. (Oh!) Yes! I say a farce, whether you regard the age of the + acolyte or the indifferent proportion of water with which it would be + performed. (Uproar, oh, oh! and some cheering from the Baptist section.) + But I will not now further enter into these things,” said Mr. Cutwater, + who knew his cue perfectly well, “I can hold these opinions and still love + my brethren of other denominations. I move, as an amendment, that a + committee, consisting of one minister and one layman to be selected from + each of the Churches, be appointed to take charge of the physical + well-being and mental and spiritual training of the infant.” + </p> + <p> + By this proposition, which was received with enthusiasm, Ginx's Baby was + to be incontinently pitched into an arena of polemical warfare. Every one + was willing that a committee should fight out the question vicariously; + and, therefore, when Mr. Slowboy seconded the amendment, it was carried + with loud acclamations. + </p> + <p> + But they were not yet out of the wood. On proceeding to nominate members + of the committee, the Unitarians and Quakers claimed to be represented. + The platform and the meeting were by the ears again. It was fiercely + contended that only Evangelical Christians could have a place in such a + work, and many of the nominees declared that they would not sit on a + committee with—well, some curious epithets were used. The Unitarians + and Quakers took their stand on the Catholic principles embodied in the + amendment, and on the fact that Ginx's Baby had now “become national + Protestant property.” Mr. Cutwater and a few others, moved by the scandal + of the dispute, interfered, and the committee was at length constituted to + the satisfaction of all parties. It was to be called “The Branch Committee + of the Protestant Detectoral Union for promoting the Physical and + Spiritual Well-being of Ginx's Baby.” + </p> + <p> + A fourth resolution was adopted, “That the subject should be treated in + the Metropolitan pulpits on the next Sabbath, and a collection taken up in + the various churches for the benefit of the infant.” This promised well + for Master Ginx's future. + </p> + <p> + The meeting had lasted five hours, and while they were discussing him the + child grew hungry. In the tumult every one had forgotten the subject of + it, and now it was over, they dispersed without thought of him. But he + would not allow those near him at all events to overlook his presence. + </p> + <p> + Some, foreseeing that awkwardness was impending, slipped away; while three + or four stayed to ask what was to be done with him. + </p> + <p> + “Hand him over to the custody of the Chairman,” said a Mr. Dove. + </p> + <p> + “I should be most happy,” said he, smoothly, “but Mrs. Trumpeter is out of + town. Could your dear wife take him, Mr. Dove?” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Dove's wife was otherwise engaged. + </p> + <p> + The Secretary was unmarried—chambers at Nincome's Inn. + </p> + <p> + In the midst of their distress a woman who had been hanging about the hall + near the platform, came forward and offered to take charge of him, “for + the sake of the cause.” Every one was relieved. After her name and address + had been hastily noted, the Protestant baby was placed in her arms. My + Lord Evergood, the Chairman, the clergy, the Secretary, and the mob went + home rejoicing. Some hours after, Ginx's Baby, stripped of the duchess's + beautiful robes, was found by a policeman, lying on a doorstep in one of + the narrow streets, not a hundred yards behind the Philopragmon. By an + ironical chance he was wrapped in a copy of the largest daily paper in the + world. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0020" id="link2H_4_0020"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IX.—Good Samaritans, and Good-Samaritan Twopences. + </h2> + <p> + At every breakfast-table in town next morning the report of the great + Protestant meeting was read, and a further report, in leaded type, of the + discovery of Ginx's Baby at a later period of the evening by a policeman. + A pretty comment on the proceedings! The Good Samaritan put his patient on + his ass and carried him to an inn; while the priest and the Levite, though + the latter looked at him, at least let him alone. To have called a public + meeting to discuss his fate before deserting him, would have been a + refinement of inhumanity. The committee were rather ashamed when they met. + Instant measures were taken to recover the child and place him in good + hands. The duchess again provided baby-clothes. The next Sunday sermons + were preached on his behalf in a score of chapels. The collections + amounted to L 800, a sum increased by donations and subscriptions to the + handsome total of L 1360 10s. 3 1/2d. + </p> + <p> + It will be seen hereafter what the committee did with the baby, but I + happen to have an account of what became of the funds. They were spent as + follows, according to a balance sheet never submitted to the subscribers:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Pounds s. d. + Committee-rooms............. 45 0 0 + 2 Secretaries employed by the + Committee................ 120 0 0 + Agents, canvassing, &c.......... 88 6 2 + Printing Notices, Placards, + Pamphlets, a “Daily Bulletin of + Health,” “Life of Ginx's Baby,” + “Protestant Babyhood, a Tale,” + “The Cradle of an Infant Martyr,” + “A Snatched Brand,” and other + Works issued by the Committee...... 596 13 5 + Advertisements of Meetings, + Sermons, &c............... 261 1 1 + Legal Expenses............... 77 6 8 + Stationery................ 35 10 0 + Postage, Firing, and Sundries....... 27 19 2 + ———————— + Total Pounds 1251 16 6 +</pre> + <p> + This left L 108 13s. 9 1/2d. for the baby's keep. No child could have been + more thoroughly discussed, preached and written about, advertised, or + advised by counsel; but his resources dwindled in proportion to these + advantages. Benevolent subscribers too seldom examine the financial items + of a report: had any who contributed to this fund seen the balance sheet + they might have grudged that so little of their bounty went to make flesh, + bone, and comfort for the object of it. A cynic would tell them that to + look sharply after the disposal of their guerdon was half the gift. Their + indifference was akin to that satirized by the poet— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Prodigus et stultus dedit quae spernit et odit.” + </pre> + <p> + In an age of luxury we are grown so luxurious as to be content to pay + agents to do our good deeds for us; but they charge us three hundred per + cent. for the privilege. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0021" id="link2H_4_0021"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + X.—The Force—and a Specimen of its Weakness. + </h2> + <p> + Ginx's baby had been discovered by a policeman swaddled in a penny paper, + distressingly familiar to metropolitan travellers by rail. To omit the + details of his treatment at the hands of that great institution, “The + Force,” would be invidious. The member thereof who fell in with him was + walking a back street, sighting doors with his bull's-eye. He was provided + with massive boots, so that a thief could hear him coming a hundred yards + off; he was personally tall and unwieldy, and a dexterous commissioner had + invented a dress designed to enhance these qualities—a heavy coat, a + cart-horse belt, and a round cape. He had been carefully drilled not to + walk more than three miles an hour. He was not a little startled when the + rays of his lamp fell upon a struggling newspaper, out of which, as from a + shell, came mysterious cries. He took up a corner of the paper and peeped + in upon the face of Ginx's Baby; then he occupied a quarter of an hour in + embarrassing reflections. A nearly naked child crying in the cold ought to + be housed as soon as possible, but X 99 was ON HIS BEAT, and those magic + words chained him to certain limits. This, of course, was the rule under a + former commissioner, and every one knows that such absurd strategy has + been abolished in the existing regime. At that time, however, each + watchman had his beat, to leave which was neglect of duty, except with a + prisoner, and then it was neglect of all the householders within the magic + compass. Had X 99 heard the baby crying across the street, which was part + of the beat of X 101, he would have passed on with a cheery heart, for the + case would have been beyond his jurisdiction. Unhappily the baby was on + his beat, and he was delivered from the temptation of transferring it to + the other by the appearance of X 101's bull's-eye not far off. What was he + to do? The station was a mile away—the inspector would not arrive + for an hour—and it would be awkward, if not undignified, to carry on + his rounds a shouting baby wrapped in the largest daily paper. If he left + it where it was, and it perished, he might be charged with murder. He was + at his wits' end—but having got there, he resolved on the simplest + process, namely to carry it to the station. No provision was made by the + regulations of the force to protect a beat casually deserted even for a + proper purpose. Hence, while X 99 was absent on his errand of mercy, the + valuable shop of Messrs. Trinkett and Blouse, ecclesiastical tailors, was + broken into, and several stoles, chasubles, altar-cloths and other + decorative tapestries were appropriated to profane uses. + </p> + <p> + At the station the baby was disposed of according to rule. Due entry was + first made in the night-book by the superintendent of all the particulars + of his discovery. Some cold milk was then procured and poured down the + child's throat. Afterwards, wrapped in a constable's cape, he was placed + in a cell where, when the door was locked, he could not disturb the + guardians of the peace. + </p> + <p> + The same night, in the next cell, an innocent gentleman, seized with an + apoplexy in the street but entered in the charge-sheet as drunk and + incapable, died like a dog. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0022" id="link2H_4_0022"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XI.—The Unity of the Spirit and the Bond of Peace. + </h2> + <p> + When the committee met, every one discovered his incongruity with the + rest. Each was disposed to treat Ginx's Baby in a different way—in + other words, each wished to reflect the views of his particular sect on + the object of their charity. They were a new “Evangelical Alliance,” + agreed only in hatred to Popery. + </p> + <p> + Finding at their first meeting that the discussion needed to be brought + into a focus, the committee appointed three of their number to draw up a + minute of the matters to be argued. This committee reported that there + arose, respecting the child, the following questions:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “I. As touching the body: + + a. Wherewithal he should be fed and clothed? + + b. In what manner and fashion that should be done? + + II. As touching the mind and spirit: + + a. Whether he should be educated? If so, + + b. What were to be the subjects of instruction? + + c. What creed, if any, should be primarily taught? + + d. Should he be further baptized? If so, + + 1. Into what communion? + + 2. By what ceremonial?” + </pre> + <p> + This programme, it appeared to its concoctors, embraced everything that + concerned Ginx's Baby except his death by the act of God or the Queen's + enemies. No sooner was the report made than adopted. Then a member, eager + for the fray, moved the postponement of the first division of questions + until the others had been determined. Why should apostles of truth trouble + themselves to serve tables? These were very subordinate questions to them—though, + I think, of first importance to Ginx's Baby. It was decided to discuss + little Ginx's future before considering his present. + </p> + <p> + The ball was opened by the Venerable Archdeacon Hotten, who, amid much + excitement, contended that from the earliest buddings of thought in an + infant mind religion should be engrafted upon it; there could be no + education worth the name that was not religious. That with the A should be + taught the origin, and with the Z the final destiny and destruction, of + evil. To separate education from religion was to clip the wings of the + heavenly dove. He asserted that the committee ought at once to have the + child baptized in Westminster Abbey, though he was rather of opinion that + the previous baptism was canonically valid; that he should be taught the + truths of our most holy faith, and since there could be no faith without a + creed, and the only national creed was that of the Church of England, the + baby should be handed over to the care of a clergyman, and then be sent to + a proper religious school. He need not say that he excluded Rugby under + its then profane management. + </p> + <p> + The Church was, however, divided against itself, for the Dean of Triston + said he would give more latitude than his very reverend brother. You ought + not to define in an infant mind a rigid outline of creed. In fact, he did + not acknowledge any creed, he was not obliged to by law and was + disinclined to by his reason. He would rather allow the inner seeds of + natural light—the glorious all-pervading efflorescence of the Deity + in all men's hearts, to grow within the young spirit. The Dean was + assuredly vague and far less earnest than his brother cleric. + </p> + <p> + The “Rev.” Mr. Bumpus, Unitarian, met the suggestions of the Archdeacon + with the scorn they merited. It was impossible to apply to a + representative child of an enlightened age theories so long exploded. The + Dean had certainly come nearer the truth with that broad sympathy for + which he was noted. He himself proposed that the child should be made a + model nursling of the liberalism of a new era. Old things were passing + away;—all things had become new. Creeds were the discarded banners + of a mediaeval past, fit only to be hung up in the churches, and looked at + as historic monuments; never more to be flaunted in the front of battle! + The education of the day was that which taught a man the introspection + whereby he recognized the Divine within himself—under any aspect, + under any tuition, whether of Brahma, Confucius, or Christ. Truth was + kaleidoscopic, and varied with the media through which it was viewed. As + for the child, every aspect of truth and error should be allowed to play + upon his mind. Let him acquire ordinary school learning for fifteen years, + and then send him to the London University. + </p> + <p> + Here the Chairman, and half-a-dozen members of the committee, protested + that the said University was a school of the devil, and several + interchanges of discourtesy took place. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Shortt, M. P., begged to suggest, as a matter of business, that for + the present the child was not capable of receiving any ideas whatever, and + might die, or prove to be dumb, or an idiot, and so require no education. + Ought they not to postpone this discussion until the subject was old + enough to be worth consideration? + </p> + <p> + It was Mr. Shortt's habit to show his practical vein by business-like + obstructions of this kind. He had been able a score of times to + demonstrate to the House of Commons how silly it was to consider + probabilities. In fact, he was opposed heart and soul to prophetic + legislation; he would live, legislatively, from hand to mouth. + </p> + <p> + But the committee would not allow Mr. Shortt to run away with the bone of + contention. + </p> + <p> + The Rev. Dr. M'Gregor Lucas, of the National Caledonian Believers, had + been silent too long to contain himself further. This man needs some + particular description whenever his name is made public. Nay, for this he + lives, and by it, some think. At all events, he appears to be equally + eager for rebuke and applause; they both involve notoriety, and notoriety + is sure to pay. Few absurdities had been overlooked by his shallow + ingenuity. Simply to have invested his limited mental endowments in trying + to make the world believe him a genius, would have been only so like what + many thousands are doing as to have absolved him from too harsh a + judgment; but he traded in perilous stuff. Cheap prophecy was his staple. + It was his wont to give out about once in five years, that the world would + shortly come to an end, and, like Mr. Zadkiel, he found people who thought + their inevitable disappointment a proof of his inspiration. Had you heard + the honeyed words dropping from his lips, you would have taken him for a + Scotch angel, and, consequently, a rarity. Could such lips utter harsh + sayings, or distil vanities? Show him a priest, and you would hear! The + Pope was his particular born foe; Popery his enemies' country—so he + said. It was safe for him to stand and throw his darts. No one could say + whether they hit or did not; while most spectators had the good will to + hope that they did. How he would have lived if Daniel and St. John had + dreamed no dreams, one cannot conjecture. As it was, they provided the + doctor with endless openings for his fancy. Since no one could solve the + riddle of their prophecies, it was certain that no one could disprove his + solutions. Yet these came so often to their own disproof by lapse of time, + that I can only think that the good doctor hoped to die before his + critical periods came, or was so clever as to trust the infallibility of + human weakness. + </p> + <p> + I describe Dr. Lucas at so great a length, because it will be easier and + more edifying to the reader to conceive what he said, than for me to + recount it. He showed the Baby to be one of seven mysteries. He was in + favor of teaching him at once to hate idolatry, music, crosses, masses, + nuns, priests, bishops, and cardinals. The “humanities,” the Shorter + Catechism, the Confession of Faith, and “The whole Duty of Man,” would, in + his opinion, be the books to lay the groundwork in the child's mind of a + Christian character of the highest type. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Ogle, M. P., here vigorously intervened. Said he:— + </p> + <p> + “I can't, with all deference, agree to any of these suggestions. They + involve hand-to-hand fighting over this baby's body. No one of us is + entitled to take charge of him. Else why did we all unite to rescue him + from the nunnery? He will be torn to pieces among contending divines! I + think a purely secular education is all that as a committee we should aim + at. We have, but just withdrawn the child from the shadow of a single + ecclesiastical influence—would you transfer it to another? Every + Protestant denomination is contributing to his support, how can you devote + their gifts to rearing him for one? You would have no peace; better at + once treat him as the man of Benjamin treated his wife, cut him up into + enough pieces to send to all the tribes of Israel, summoning them to the + fight. I say we have nothing to do with this just now; let him be educated + in a secular academy, and let each sect be free to send its agents to + instruct him out of school hours as they please.” + </p> + <p> + The Rev. Theodoret Verity, M.A., rose in anger. + </p> + <p> + “Surely, sir, you cannot seriously propound such a scheme! Would you leave + this precious waif to be buffeted between the contending waves of truth + and error, in the vague hope that by some lucky wind he might finally be + cast upon a rock of safety? I protest against all these educational + heresies—they are redolent of brimstone. Truth is truth, or there is + none at all. If there be any, it is our duty to impart it to this immortal + at the outset of his existence. Secular education! What do you mean by it? + Who shall sever one question from another, and call one secular and the + other religious? Is not every relation and every truth in some way or + other connected with religion?” &c. &c. Mr. Verity has been saying + the same thing any time these forty years. + </p> + <p> + “Forgive me,” replied Mr. Ogle, “if I say that this is very vague talking. + I have not proposed to sever one question from another. I only propose to + do in a different way that which is being done now by the most rigid of + Mr. Verity's friends. It is impossible to comprehend what is meant by such + a statement as that every truth is somehow connected with religion. It may + be that the notion—if it really is not, as I suspect it to be, mere + verbiage and clap-trap, used by certain fools to mislead others—means + that there is some such coherency between all truths as there is, for + instance, between the elements of the body. I would admit that, but is not + blood a different and perfectly severable thing from bone? Each has its + place, office, relation. But who would say that one could not be regarded + by a physicist in the largest variety of its aspects apart from the other? + Yet the physicist comes back again to consider with respect to each its + relations to all the rest! The separate study has rather prepared him for + more profound insight into those relations. Thus it is with the body of + truth. In spite of Mr. Verity I affirm that there are truths that have not + in themselves any element of religion whatever. The forty-seventh + proposition of Euclid will be taught by a Jesuit precisely as it is taught + in the London University; geography will affirm certain principles and + designate places, rivers, mountains—that no faith can remove and + cast into unknown seas. These subjects and others are taught in our most + bigoted schools in separate hours and relations from religion. What then + do you mean by affirming that there can be no secular education of this + child—apart from religious teaching? We are not likely to agree, if + I may judge from what I have seen, on any one method of religious + instruction for it, therefore I wish first to fix common bounds within + which our common benevolence may work. Well, we all go to the Bible. We + agree that between its covers lies religious truth somewhere. If you like + let him have that—and let him have some kindly and holy influences + about him in the way of practice and example, such as many of our sects + can supply many instances of. Give him no catechism—let him read a + creed in our daily life. The articles of faith strongest in his soul will + be those which have crystallized there from the combined action of truth + and experience, and not as it were been pasted on its walls by + ecclesiastical bill-posters. 'What is truth?' he must ask and answer for + himself, as we all must do before God. Don't mistake me; I hope I am not + more indifferent to religion than any here present—but I differ from + them on the best method of imbuing the mind and heart with it. Surely we + need not, we cannot—it would be an exquisite absurdity—pass a + resolution in this committee that the child is to be a Calvinist! Who then + would agree to secure him from any taint of Arminian heresy in years to + come? Dare you even resolve that he shall be a Christian and a Protestant! + I would not insure the risk. But, with so many of Christ's followers about + me, surely, surely without providing any ecclesiastical mechanism, there + will be testified to him simply how he may be saved. Your prayers, your + visits, your kindly moral influence and talk, your living example of a + goodness derived not from dogmas but from affectionate following of a holy + pattern and trust in revealed mercies, your pointing to that pattern and + showing the daily passage of these mercies will prompt his search after + the truth that has made you what you are. Let some good woman do for him a + mother's part, but choose her for her general goodness and not for the + dogmas of her church. The simpler her piety the better for him I should + say!” + </p> + <p> + This straightforward speech fell like a new apple of discord in the midst + of the committee. Angry knots were formed, and the noble chairman found + that he could not restore order. An adjournment was agreed to. Luckily for + the body of Ginx's Baby, he had been meanwhile sent to a home where + Protestant money secured to him for the time good living, while his + benefactors were discussing what to do with his soul. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + Surely, it were no impertinence to interrupt this history and advert to + the fact, that, in the discussion just related, every one was to some + extent right and to some extent agreed. + </p> + <p> + That religious teaching was due to an immortal spirit—some notion + and evidence of the Divine and the Great Hereafter to be conveyed to it—scarce + was disputed. Nor was there collision over the necessity of what is called + intellectual cultivation. The boy must be taught something of the world in + which he was to live; nay, this latter knowledge seemed to be most + immediately practical. As each disputant fixed his eye on one or the other + aim that end appeared to him to be the most important. Hence, by a natural + lapse, they came to treat subjects as antagonistic which were, in fact, + parallel and quite consistent. The one called the others godless—the + others threw back the aspersion of bigotry. Then came complication. What + was “religion?” Intellectual culture they could agree about—it + embraced well-known areas; but this religion divided itself into many + disputable fields. These brother Protestants were like country neighbors + who must encounter each other at fairs, markets, meets, and balls, and + smile and greet, though each, at heart, is looking savagely at the other's + landmarks, and most are very likely fighting bitter lawsuits all the + while. It was because religion meant CREED to most members of the + committee, and because it so implies to the vast bodies they represented, + that they could not come to terms about Ginx's Baby or any other infantile + immortal. Not always, perhaps, but often, they fought for futile + distinctions. Had Mahomet's creed consisted of but one article, There is + one God, the blood of many nations might never have given testimony + against the creed they resented when to it he tacked and Mahomet is His + prophet. Could Protestants but consent to agree in their agreement and + peacefully differ in their petty differences, how would the aggregated + impulse of a simple faith roll down before it all the impediments of + error! + </p> + <p> + When Ginx's Baby had grown to a discretionary age, and was at all able to + know truth from error—supposing that to be knowable—there were + in the country fifty thousand reverend gentlemen of every tincture of + religious opinion who might ply him with their various theories, yet few + of these would be contented unless they could seize him while his young + nature was plastic, and try to imprint on immortal clay the trade-mark of + some human invention. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0023" id="link2H_4_0023"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XII.—No Funds—no Faith, no Works. + </h2> + <p> + The Committee of the Protestant Detectoral Union on Ginx's Baby held + twenty-three meetings. They were then as far from unity of purpose as when + they set out. Variety was given to the meetings by the changing + combinations of members in attendance. The finances were little heeded in + the intensity of their zeal for truth. These at length fell altogether + into the hands of the association's secretary, and we have seen involved + large items of expense. The twenty-three meetings extended over a year. At + the end of that time the secretary startled the committee by laying on the + table a demand for the board and keep of the Protestant baby for three + months, amounting to L 36; and adding that the sum in hand was L 1, 4s. 4 + 1/2d. In his report he said: “No effort has been spared by means of + advertisements, pamphlets, tales, leaders and paragraphs in newspapers and + religious journals, together with occasional sermons, to maintain the + public interest in this child; but attention has been diverted from him by + the great Roman Spozzi case, and the anxiety created throughout the + Protestant world by the recent discovery made by Dr. Gooddee, of a + solitary survivor of the ancient Church of the Vieuxbois Protestants in a + secluded valley of the Pyrenees.” + </p> + <p> + The secretary asked the committee to provide the money to discharge the + baby's liabilities; but they instantly adjourned, and no effort could + afterwards get a quorum together. When the persons who had charge of the + Protestant foundling discovered the state of affairs they began to dun the + secretary and to neglect the child, now about thirteen months old and + preparing to walk. Since no money appeared they sold whatever clothes had + been provided for him, and absconded from the place where they had been + farming him for Protestantism. The secretary, by chance hearing of this, + was discreet enough to make no inquiries. Ginx's Baby, “as a Protestant + question,” vanished from the world. I never heard that any one was asked + what had been done with the funds; but I have already furnished the + account that ought to have been rendered. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0024" id="link2H_4_0024"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + XIII.—In transitu. + </h2> + <p> + One night, near twelve o'clock, a shrewd tradesman, looking out of his + shopdoor before he turned into bed, heard a cry which proceeded from a + bundle on the pavement. This he discovered to be an infant wrapt in a + potato-sack. He was quick enough to observe that it had been deftly laid + over a line chiselled across the pavement to the corner of his house, + which line he knew to be the boundary between his own parish of St. Simon + Magus and the adjacent parish of St. Bartimeus. He took note, being a + business man, of the exact position of the child's body in relation to + this line, and then conveyed it to the workhouse of the other parish. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART3" id="link2H_PART3"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART III. WHAT THE PARISH DID WITH HIM. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0026" id="link2H_4_0026"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I.—Parochial Knots—to be untied without prejudice. + </h2> + <p> + The infant borne to the workhouse of St. Bartimeus was Ginx's Baby. When + he had been placed on the floor of the matron's room, and examined by the + master, that official turned to the unwelcome bearer of the burden. + </p> + <p> + “Did you find this child?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Where?” + </p> + <p> + “Lying opposite my shop in Nether Place.” + </p> + <p> + “What's your name?” + </p> + <p> + “Doll.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! you're the cheesemonger. Your shop's on the other side of the + boundary, in the other parish. The child ought not to come here; it + doesn't belong to us.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes it does: it wasn't on my side of the line.” + </p> + <p> + “But it was in front of your house?” + </p> + <p> + “Well, the line runs crossways: it don't follow the child was in our + parish.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, nonsense! there's no doubt about it! We can't take the child in. You + must carry it away again.” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Snigger turned to leave the room. + </p> + <p> + “Wait a bit, sir,” said Mr. Doll; “I shall leave the child here, and you + can do as you like with it. It ain't mine, at all events. I say it lay in + your parish; and if you don't look after it you may be the worse of it. + The coroner's sure to try to earn his fees. Good-night.” + </p> + <p> + He hurried from the room. + </p> + <p> + “Stop!” shouted the master, “I say: I don't accept the child. You leave it + here at your own risk. We keep it without prejudice, remember—without + prejudice, sir!—without——” + </p> + <p> + Mr. Doll was in the street and out of hearing. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0027" id="link2H_4_0027"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II.—A Board of Guardians. + </h2> + <p> + The Guardians of St. Bartimeus met the day after Mr. Doll's clever + stratagem. Among other business was a report from the master of the + workhouse that a child, name unknown, found by Mr. Doll, cheesemonger, of + Nether Place, in the Parish of St. Simon Magus, opposite his shop, and, as + he alleged, on the nearer side of the parish boundary, had been left at + the workhouse, and was now in the custody of the matron. The Guardians + were not accustomed to restrain themselves, and did not withhold the + expression of their indignation upon this announcement. As Mr. Doll had + himself been a guardian of St. Simon Magus, it was clear to their + impartial minds that he was trying by a trick to foist a bastard—perhaps + his own—on the wrong parish. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Cheekey, a licensed victualler, moved that the master's report be put + under the table. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Slinkum, draper, seconded the motion. + </p> + <p> + Mr. Edge, ironmonger, pointed out that there was no parliamentary + precedent for such a disposition of the report, and, further, that such + action did not dispose of the baby. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Mr. Cheekey, turning painfully red, “no matter how ye put it, + I move to get rid of the brat. What's the best form of motion?” + </p> + <p> + A churchwarden, who happened to be a gentleman, explained that the Board + could not dismiss the question in so summary a way. “He could foresee that + there might be a nice point of law in the case. They would have to take + some legal means of ascertaining their liabilities, and of forcing the + other parish to take the child if they ought to do so. They must consult + their solicitor.” This gentleman was sent for post haste. Meanwhile the + baby was ordered to be brought in for inspection. The matron had handed + him over to a sort of half-witted inmate of the house, whose wits, + however, were strangely about him at the wrong time, to nurse and amuse + him. This person brought Ginx's Baby into the Board-room, and placed him + on the table. The Board of Guardians took a good look at him. He was not + then in fair condition. He was limp, he was dirty, hollow in the cheeks, + white, stiff in his limbs, and half-naked—(to be regardless of + gender)— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Pallidula, rigida, nudula.” + </pre> + <p> + “Hum!” said Mr. Stink, who was a dog-breeder—“What's his pedigree?” + </p> + <p> + This brutal joke was well received by some of the Guardians. + </p> + <p> + “His pedigree,” answered the half-wit, gravely, “goes back for three + hundred years. Parients unknown by name, but got by Misery out o' + Starvashun. The line began with Poverty out o' Laziness in Queen + Elizabeth's time. The breed has been a large 'un wotever you thinks of the + quality.” + </p> + <p> + This pleasantry was less acceptable to the Board. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said Mr. Scoop, grocer, a great stickler for parliamentary modes + of procedure, “I move it be committed.” + </p> + <p> + “Committed! Where?” said Mr. Stink. + </p> + <p> + “To Newgate I s'pose,” said the half-wit, his eyes twinkling. + </p> + <p> + “Nonsense, sir,—for consideration. Send that man out,” exclaimed + Scoop—“clear the room for consultation.” + </p> + <p> + Davus was expelled, and the baby was then formally consigned to the care + of a committee. By this time the legal adviser came in. The facts having + been stated to him, he said: + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen, as at present advised I am of opinion that the parish in which + the child was found is bound to maintain him. If Mr. Doll (a highly + respectable person, my own cheesemonger) found the child beyond the + boundaries of St. Simon Magus—and he will of course swear that he + did—you cannot refuse to take it in. However, I had better ascertain + the facts from Mr. Doll and take the opinion of counsel. Meanwhile we must + beware not to compromise ourselves by admitting anything, or doing + anything equivalent to an admission. Let me see—Ah!—yes—a + notice to be served on the other parish repudiating the infant; another + notice to Mr. Doll to take it away, and that it remains here at his risk + and expense—you see, gentlemen, we could hardly venture to return it + to Mr. Doll; we should create an unhappy impression in the minds of the + public—” + </p> + <p> + “D—n the public!” said Mr. Stink. + </p> + <p> + “Quite so, my dear sir,” said Mr. Phillpotts, smiling, “quite so, but that + is not a legal or in fact practicable mode of discarding them; we must act + with public opinion, I fear. Then, to resume, thirdly and to be strictly + safe, we must serve a notice on the infant and all whom it may concern. I + think I'll draft it at once.” + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes the committee in charge pinned to the only garment of + Ginx's Baby a paper in the following form:— + </p> + <p> + PARISH OF ST. BARTIMEUS. + </p> + <p> + To —— —— (name unknown), a Foundling, and all + other persons interested in the said Foundling. + </p> + <p> + TAKE NOTICE + </p> + <p> + That you, or either of you, have no just or lawful claim to have you or + the said infant chargeable on the said Parish. And this is to notify that + you, the said infant, are retained in the workhouse of the said Parish + under protest, and that whatsoever is or may be done or provided for you + is at the proper charge of you, and all such persons as are and were by + law bound to maintain and keep the same. + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + WINKLE & PHILLPOTTS, + Solicitors for the Board. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0028" id="link2H_4_0028"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III.—“The World is my Parish.” + </h2> + <p> + When Mr. Phillpotts called upon Doll, the cheesemonger, the latter + straightway gave him the facts as they had occurred. He pointed out the + exact spot on which the bundle had lain; he gave an estimate of the number + of inches on each side of the line occupied by it, and declared that the + head and shoulders of the infant lay in the parish of the solicitor's + clients. Ginx's Baby, under the title “Re a Foundling,” was once more + submitted for the opinion of counsel. They advised the Board that as the + child was in both parishes when found, but had been taken up by a + ratepayer of St. Simon Magus, the latter parish was bound to support him. + Whereupon the Guardians of St. Bartimeus at their next meeting resolved + that the Vestry of the other parish should have a written notice to remove + the child, failing which application should be made to the Queen's Bench + for a mandamus to compel them to do it. + </p> + <p> + On receiving the challenge the Guardians of St. Simon Magus also took + counsel's opinion. They were advised that as the greater part, and + especially the head of the infant, was when discovered in the parish of + St. Bartimeus, the latter was clearly chargeable. Both parties then + proceeded to swear affidavits. The Attorney-General and Solicitor-General, + the two great law-officers of the crown, were retained on opposite sides, + and took fees—not for an Imperial prosecution, but as petty Queen's + Counsel in an inter-parochial squabble. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0029" id="link2H_4_0029"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV.—Without prejudice to any one but the Guardians. + </h2> + <p> + The Court of Queen's Bench, after hearing an elaborate statement from the + Attorney-General, granted a rule nisi for a mandamus. This rule was + entered for argument in a paper called “The Special Paper,” and, the list + being a heavy one, nearly a year elapsed before it was reached. It was + then again postponed several times “for the convenience of counsel.” + </p> + <p> + The Board of St. Bartimeus chafed under the law's delay. They became + morbidly sensitive to the incubus of Ginx's Baby, especially as the press + had been reviewing some of their recent acts with great bitterness. The + Guardians were defiant. Having served their notices, they were induced by + Mr. Stink to resolve not to maintain the infant. The poor child was + threatened with dissolution. Thus, no doubt, many difficulties in + parochial administration are solved—the subject vanishes away. The + baby was kept provisionally in a room at the workhouse. On the outside of + the door was a notice in fair round-hand:— + </p> + <p> + NOTICE. DOLL'S FOUNDLING. + </p> + <p> + Pending the legal inquiry into the facts concerning the above infant, and + a decision as to its settlement, all officials, assistants, and servants + of the workhouse are forbidden to enter the room in which it is deposited, + or to render it any service or assistance, on pain of dismissal. No food + is to be supplied to it from the workhouse kitchen. + </p> + <p> + N.B. This is not intended to prevent persons other than officials, &c., + from having access to the infant, or assisting it. + </p> + <p> + BY ORDER OF THE BOARD. + </p> + <p> + That any body of human beings, other than Patagonians, could have coolly + contemplated such a result as must have followed upon the strict + performance of this order, would be incredible except in the instance of + the Guardians of St. Bartimeus. There was nothing they could not do—or + leave undone. Fortunately for Ginx's Baby, the order was disobeyed. + Occasionally lady visitors went to look at him and give him some food—he + was toddling about the room on unsteady legs—but charity seemed to + be appalled by the official questions hanging about this child. The + master, Snigger, whose business it was every day to ascertain whether the + cause of the great parochial quarrel was in, or out of, existence, became + a traitor to the Board. When the child grew hungry and dangerously thin, + he brought bottles of pap prepared by Mrs. Snigger, and administered it to + him. No conclusions to the disfavor of the Board were to be drawn from + this conduct, for Snigger was particular to say to the boy in a loud + voice, each time he fed him:— + </p> + <p> + “Now, youngster, this is without prejudice, remember! I give you due + notice—without prejudice.” + </p> + <p> + Who, in Master Ginx's situation, would have had any prejudices to such + action, or have expressed them even if they were entertained? He took no + objection as he took the pap; while Snigger was glad to be able to do an + unusual kindness without compromising the parish. + </p> + <p> + Thus things had gone on for many months, when one day an eye of that Argus + monster, the Public, was set upon Ginx's Baby. A well-known nobleman, + calling at the workhouse to see a little girl whom he had saved from + infamy, as he passed down a corridor was arrested by the notice on the + door of our hero's room. Curiosity took him in, and horror chained him + there for some time. Had he not entered, Ginx's Baby, spite of Snigger, + would in twenty-four hours have ceased to supply facts to history. He was + suffering from low fever, and his condition was as sensationally shocking + as any reporter could have wished. Out rushed the peer for a doctor, took + a cab to a magistrate and detailed the whole case, to be repeated in next + morning's papers. Penny-a-liners ran to the spot, wrote vivid descriptions + of the baby and the room, and transcribed the notice. The Guardians were + drubbed in trenchant leaders and indignant letters. They, instead of + bending to the storm, strove to confront it, and passed angry resolutions + of a childish and grotesque character. The few of them who possessed any + sense of propriety were railed at in the meetings till they ceased to + attend. The uproar outside increased. Why did not the President of the + Poor-Law Board interfere? At last he did interfere: that is, instead of + visiting the scene himself, and satisfying his own eyes as to the truth of + what his ears had heard, a process that would have taken a couple of + hours, he appointed a gentleman to hold an inquiry. The Guardians became + furious. The reports of their proceedings read like the vagaries of a + lunatic asylum or the deliberations of the American Senate. They + discharged Snigger for breach of orders, substituting a relative of Mr. + Stink. They put a lock on the door, and passed food to the Baby by a + stick. A committee was appointed to see him fed, and they forwarded a + memorial to the Poor-Law Board, stating that “he daily had more food than + he could possibly eat, and was in admirable condition.” They refused to + allow any doctor but one employed by themselves to see him. They procured + from him a certificate that the noble busybody and his physician had made + a mistake, and that all the functions of life in the infant appeared to be + in perfect order. Then came the gentleman, and the inquiry, and his + report, and a letter from the Poor-Law Board, and further discussions and + more letters, until the bewildered public gnashed its teeth at the + Minister, the Guardians, and the law, and wished them all at Land's End or + beyond it. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0030" id="link2H_4_0030"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V.-An Ungodly Jungle. + </h2> + <p> + The case of the Guardians of St. Bartimeus against the Guardians of St. + Simon Magus was at length reached. The argument lasted for two days. There + is a grim work, the short title whereof is “Burns's Justice,” in five fat + volumes, from which the legal Dryasdust turns aghast. In one of these + portentous books, title “Poor,” pp. 1200, the inquisitive may find a code + unrivalled by the most malignant ingenuity of former or contemporary + nations: a code wherein, by gradual accretion, has been framed a system of + relief to poverty and distress so impolitic, so unprincipled, that none + but the driest, mustiest, most petrified parish official could be expected + to lift up his voice to defend it; so complicated that no man under heaven + knows its length or breadth or height or depth; yet it stands to this hour + a monument of English stolidity—a marvel of lazy or ignorant + statesmanship. Imagine, if you please, a Lord Chief Justice and three + Puisnes, all keen, practical men, alive to public policy and the common + weal, eager to extricate the truth and do the right, plunging into this + “ungodly jungle,” thwarted at every turn, in search of justice for Ginx's + Baby. With all his patient industry and lightning quickness of + apprehension, the Chief Justice found it hard to reconcile past and + present, or evolve from the vast confusion anything consistent with his + moral instincts.—Clear the board, gentlemen. True regenerative + legislation will begin by drawing away the rubbish. Reform means more than + repair. Mend, patch, take down a little here, prop up some tottering + nuisance there, fill in gaping chinks with patent legislative cement, coat + old facades with bright paint, hide decay beneath a gloze of novelty, + titivate, decorate, furbish—and after all your house is not a new + one, but a whited sepulchre shaking to decay. Repair? There is a Repair + party, intermediating between Tories and Reformers—Radicals or + Rooters let us call these latter if you like—who cling to “vested + interests” and all other sorts of antique nuisances, yet say they are + willing to improve them. REFORM, which means, Pull down with bold + statesman's hand, and with like hand REBUILD, is no darling of your + political Repairer. Call the party and the men by their right names: and + give me for utility in legislation or administrative action an Old Tory + and Obstructive party rather than this middling, meddling, muddling + Repairer— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Eager to change yet fearful to destroy.” + </pre> + <p> + Just now all Social Reformation, in its noblest aims and attempts, is + fettered by the Repair party. What is termed Sanitary Reform is enfeebled, + and the vigor withdrawn from it, by this party. “Vested rights,” “the + Liberty of the people,” “Interference with personal freedom,” “EXPENSE,”—these + are the watchwords of the Repairer in opposition to him who, pointing to + the pallor and fever of a hundred neighborhoods, calls upon a ministry to + cleanse them with imperial force. + </p> + <p> + A comprehensive scheme of National Education is seized and half-throttled + by the Repair party. “Oh! utilize what there is; improve on and tack to + the denominational system; avail yourself of the jealousy of sects; see + what a grand building that has already erected! True, it is not large + enough; true, it is badly built; but repair that, and add wings. It will + cost you ever so much to rebuild—Repair!” + </p> + <p> + The methods of relief to the Poor are old, cumbrous, unequal, as stupid as + those who administer them. Forth steps the Reformer, and cries out—“Clear + this wrack away! Get rid of your antiquated Bumbledom, your parochial and + non-parochial distinctions, your complicated map of local authorities; + re-distribute the kingdom on some more practical system, redress the + injustice of unequal rating, improve the machinery and spirit of relief, + and so on.” You have the Repair party shouting its Non possumus as loudly + as any other arch-obstructive: “Heaven forbid! Queen Elizabeth and the + Poor Laws for ever! To the rescue of Local Government and Vested + Interests! Repair!” + </p> + <p> + Some one with a long head and a divinely-warmed heart, searching vainly + for help to thousands in the packed alleys of his English Home, sends his + quick glance across seas to rich lands that daily cry to heaven for strong + arms that wield the plough and spade. “Ho!” he shouts, “Labor to Land—starvation + to production—death unto life!” and he calls upon every statesman + and patriot to help the good work, and give their energies to frame an + Emigration Scheme. Then the Repair party foams: “Send away the Labor, the + source of our wealth? No. Mend the condition of the laborer; give him the + sop of political rights—free breakfasts—the ballot. Give State + funds to alter social conditions? No. Improve the methods of local + assistance to Emigration; it is a temporary remedy—Repair!” + </p> + <p> + Thus, according to the gospel of this party, everything must be subject of + restoration only. Like antiquarians, they utter groans over the abolition + of anything, however ugly it may be, however unfitted for human uses, and + with however so elegant a piece of artistry you desire to displace it. For + them a Gilbert-Scott politician, reverential restorer of bygone styles, + enthusiastic to conserve and amend the grotesque Gothic policies of the + past, rather than some Brunel or Stephenson statesman, engineering in + novel mastery of circumstances—not fearful to face and conquer even + the antique impediments of Nature. Give me a trenchant statesman, or I + pray you leave legislation alone. Better things as they are than patched + to distraction. + </p> + <p> + At length, by means of some delicate legal adjustments, the judges saw + their way to affirming that Ginx's Baby's parish was that of St. + Bartimeus, and refused the rule for a mandamus. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0031" id="link2H_4_0031"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI.—Parochial Benevolence—and another translation. + </h2> + <p> + The authorities of St. Bartimeus did not take kindly to the charge imposed + upon them by the Queen's Bench. Some of the Guardians privately hinted to + the master that it was unnecessary to overfeed the infant. They did not + burthen him with much clothing, and what he had was shared with many + lively companions. When you, good matron, look at your little pink-cheeked + daughter, so clean and so cosy in her pretty cot, waking to see the + well-faced nurse, or you, still sweeter to her eyes, watching above her + dreams, perhaps you ought to stop a moment to contrast the scene with the + sad tableaux you may get sight of not far away. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + Ginx's Baby was not an ill-favored child. He had inherited his father's + frame and strength: these helped him through the changes we are relating. + What if these capacities had, by simple nourishing food, cleanly + care-taking, and brighter, kindlier associations, been trained into full + working order? Left alone or ill-tended they were daily dwindling, and the + depreciation was going on not solely at the expense of little Ginx, but of + the whole community. To reduce his strength one-half was to reduce + one-half his chances of independence, and to multiply the prospects of his + continuous application for STATE AID. + </p> + <p> + The money spent in stopping a hole in a Dutch dyke is doubtless better + invested than if it were to be retained until a vast breach had laid half + a kingdom under water. Surely your Hollander would agree to be mulcted in + one-third of his fortune rather than run the hazard! + </p> + <p> + Every day through this wealthy country there are men and women busy + marring the little images of God, that are by-and-by to be part of its + public-shadowing young spirits, repressing their energy, sapping their + vigor or failing to make it up, corrupting their nature by foul + associations, moral and physical. Some are doing it by special license of + the devil, others by Act of Parliament, others by negligence or + niggardliness. Could you teach or force these people—many + unconsciously engaged in the vile work—to run together, as men + alarmed by sudden danger, and throw around a helpless generation + influences and a care more akin to your own home ideal, would you not + transfigure the next epoch—would not your labor and sacrifice be a + GOD-WORK, reaching out weighty, fruit-laden branches far into the grateful + future? 'Tis by feeling and enjoining everywhere the need of such a + movement as this that you, O all-powerful woman! can carry your will into + the play of a great economic and social reform. Society that recognizes + not a root-truth like that is sowing the wind—God knows what it will + reap. + </p> + <p> + So the Guardians, keeping carefully within the law, neglected nothing that + could sap little Ginx's vitality, deaden his happiest instincts, derange + moral action, cause hope to die within his infant breast almost as soon as + it were born. Good God! + </p> + <p> + The items the Board were really entitled to charge the rate-payers as + supplied to our hero were— + </p> + <p> + Dirt, + </p> + <p> + Fleas, + </p> + <p> + Foul air, + </p> + <p> + Chances of catching skin diseases, fevers, &c., + </p> + <p> + Vile company, + </p> + <p> + Neglect, + </p> + <p> + Occasional cruelty, and + </p> + <p> + A small supply of bad food and clothing. + </p> + <p> + Every pauper was to them an obnoxious charge by any and every means to be + reduced to a minimum or nil. Ginx's Baby was reduced to a minimum. His + constitution enabled him to protest against reduction to nil. But, just + after the bills of costs had been taxed, mulcting the rate-payers of St. + Bartimeus in a sum of more than L 1,600, the Guardians were made aware of + the name and origin of their charge. One of the persons who had deserted + him was arrested for theft, and among other articles in her possession + were some of the Baby's clothes. She confessed the whole story, and + declared that the child left in Nether Place was no other than the + Protestant Baby, son of Ginx, about whom so much stir had been made two + years before. The Guardians were not long in tracing Ginx, and, at his + quarters in Rosemary Street, the hapless changeling was one day delivered + by a deputy relieving-officer, with the benediction, by me sadly recorded— + </p> + <p> + “There he is, d—n him!” + </p> + <p> + I am sure if the Guardians had been there they would have said: + </p> + <p> + “Amen.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART4" id="link2H_PART4"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART IV. WHAT THE CLUBS AND POLITICIANS DID WITH HIM. + </h2> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0033" id="link2H_4_0033"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + I.—Moved on. + </h2> + <p> + Ginx's Baby's brothers and sisters would have nothing to say to him. Mrs. + Ginx declared she could see in him no likeness to her own dear lost one; + and her husband swore that the brat never was his. The couple had latterly + been pinching themselves and their children to save enough to emigrate. + For this purpose aid and counsel were given to them by a neighboring + curate, whose name, were my pages destined to immortality, should be + printed here in golden letters. Rich and full will be his sheaves when + many a statesman reaps tares. Finding that a thirteenth child was imposed + on them by so superior a force as the law of England the Ginxes hastened + their departure. + </p> + <p> + Their last night in London, towards the small hours, Ginx, carrying our + hero, went along Birdcage Walk. He scarcely knew where he was going, or + how he was about to dispose of his burden, but he meant to get rid of it. + On he went, here and there met by shadowy creatures who came towards his + footsteps in the uncertain darkness, and when they could see that he was + no quarry for them flitted away again into the night. + </p> + <p> + He passed the dingy houses, since replaced by the Foreign Office, across + the open space before the Horse Guards, near the house of a popular Prime + Minister, and up the broad steps till he stood under the York Column. The + shadow of this was an inviting place, but a policeman turning his lantern + suspiciously on the man walking about at that silent hour with a child in + his arms frustrated his wish. Slowly Ginx tramped along Pall Mall, with + only one other creature stirring, as it seemed for the moment—a + gentleman who turned up the steps of a large building. Seating the child + on the bottom step and telling him not to cry, Ginx instantly crossed the + road, turned into St. James's Square, passed by the rails, and stealing + from corner to corner through the mazes of that locality, reached home by + way of Piccadilly and Grosvenor Place. Henceforth this history shall know + him no more. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0034" id="link2H_4_0034"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + II.-Club Ideas. + </h2> + <p> + Scarcely had the shadow of his parent vanished in the gloom before Ginx's + Baby piped forth a lusty protest: the street rang again. Ere long the + doors at the top of the steps swung back, and a portly form stood in the + light. + </p> + <p> + “Halloo! what's the matter?” (This was a general observation into space.) + “Why, bless my heart, here's a child crying on the steps!” + </p> + <p> + Another form appeared. + </p> + <p> + “Is there nobody with it? Halloo! any one there?” + </p> + <p> + No answer came save from poor little Ginx, but his was decided. The two + servants descended the steps and looked at the miserable boy without + touching him. Then they peered into the darkness in hope that they might + get a glimpse of his mother or a policeman. A rapid step sounded on the + pavement and a gentleman came up to the group. + </p> + <p> + “What have we here?” he said gently. + </p> + <p> + “It's a child, Sir Charles, I found crying on the steps. I expect it's a + trick to get rid of him. We are looking for a policeman to take him away.” + </p> + <p> + “Poor little fellow,” said Sir Charles, stooping to take a fair look at + Ginx's Baby, “for you and such as you the policeman or the parish officers + are the national guardians, and the prison or the poor-house the home..... + Bring him into the Club, Smirke.” + </p> + <p> + The men hesitated a moment before executing so unwonted a demand, but Sir + Charles Sterling was a man not safely to be thwarted—a late minister + and a member of the committee. The child being carried into the + magnificent hall of the Club, stood on its mosaic floor. From above the + radiance of the gas “sunlight” streamed down over the marble pillars, and + glanced on gilded cornices and panels of scagliola. A statue of the Queen + looked upon him from the niche that opened to the dining-room; another of + the great Puritan soldier, statesman, and ruler, with his stern massive + front; and yet another, with the strong yet gentle features of the + champion Free-Trader, seemed to regard him from their several corners. On + the walls around were portraits of men who had striven for the deliverance + of the people from ancient yokes and fetters. Of course Ginx's Baby did + not see all this. He, poor boy, dazed, stood with a knuckle in his eye, + while the porter, lackeys, Sir Charles Sterling, and others who strolled + out of the reading-room, curiously regarded him. But any one observing the + scene apart might have contrasted the place with the child—the + principles and the professions whereof this grandeur was the monument and + consecrated tabernacle, with this solitary atomic specimen of the material + whereon they were to work. What social utility had resulted from the great + movements initiated by them who erected and frequented this place? Ought + they to have had, and did they still need a complement? While wonderful + political changes had been wrought, and benefits not to be exaggerated won + for many classes, WHAT HAD BEEN DONE FOR GINX'S BABY? + </p> + <p> + The query would not have been very ridiculous. He was an unit of the + British Empire—nothing could blot out that fact before heaven! Had + anything been left undone that ought to have been done, or done that had + well been left undone, or were better to be undone now? Of a truth that + was worth a thought. + </p> + <p> + “What's all this?” said a big Member of Parliament, a minister renowned + for economy in matters financial and intellectual. “What are you doing + with this youngster? I never saw such an irregularity in a Club in my + life.” + </p> + <p> + “If you saw it oftener you would think more about it,” said Sir Charles + Sterling. “We found him on the steps. I think he was asking for you, + Glibton.” + </p> + <p> + This sally turned a laugh against the minister. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said another, “he has come to the wrong quarter if he wants + money.” + </p> + <p> + “I shouldn't wonder,” said a third, “if he were one of the new messengers + at the Office of Popular Edifices. Glibton is reducing their staff.” + </p> + <p> + “If that's the case I think you have reached the minimum here, Glibton,” + cried Sir Charles. + </p> + <p> + “Can't the country afford a livery?” + </p> + <p> + “Bother you all,” replied the Secretary, who was secretly pleased to be + quizzed for his peculiarities—“tell us what this means. Whose 'lark' + is it?” + </p> + <p> + “No lark at all,” said Sterling. “Here is a problem for you and all of us + to solve. This forlorn object is representative, and stands here to-night + preaching us a serious sermon. He was deserted on the Club steps—left + there, perhaps, as a piece of clever irony; he might be son to some of us. + What's your name, my boy?” + </p> + <p> + Ginx's Baby managed to say “Dunno!” + </p> + <p> + “Ask him if he has any name?” said an Irish ex-member, with a grave face. + </p> + <p> + Ginx's Baby to this question responded distinctly “No.” + </p> + <p> + “No name,” said the humorist; “then the author of his being must be Wilkie + Collins.” + </p> + <p> + Everybody laughed at this indifferent pleasantry but our hero. His bosom + began to heave ominously. + </p> + <p> + “What's to be done with him?” + </p> + <p> + “Send him to the workhouse.” + </p> + <p> + “Send him to the d——” (there may be brutality among the gods + and goddesses). + </p> + <p> + “Give him to the porter.” + </p> + <p> + “No thank you, sir,” said he, promptly. + </p> + <p> + The gentlemen were turning away, when Sir Charles stopped them. + </p> + <p> + “Look here!” he said, taking the boy's arm and baring it, “this boy can + hardly be called a human being. See what a thin arm he has—how + flaccid and colorless the flesh seems—what an old face!—and I + can scarcely feel any pulse. Good heavens, get him some wine! A few hours + will send him to the d—— sure enough.... What are we to do for + him, Glibton? I say again, he is only part of a great problem. There must + be hundreds of thousands growing up like this child; and what a generation + to contemplate in all its relations and effects!” + </p> + <p> + The gentlemen were dashed by his earnestness. + </p> + <p> + “Oh, you're exaggerating,” said Glibton; “there can't be such widespread + misery. Why, if there were, the people would be wrecking our houses.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” replied the other, sadly, “will you wait to be convinced by that + sort of thing before you believe in their misery? I assure you what I say + is true. I could bring you a hundred clergymen to testify to it to-morrow + morning.” + </p> + <p> + “God forbid!” said Glibton. “Good-night.” + </p> + <p> + The right honorable gentleman extinguished the subject in his own little + brain with his big hat; but everywhere else the sparks are still aglow, + and he, with all like him, may wake up suddenly, as frightened women in + the night; to find themselves environed in the red glare of a popular + conflagration. Well for them then if they are not in charge of the State + machinery. What an hour will that be for hurrying to and fro with + water-pipes and buckets, when proper forethought, diligence, and sacrifice + would have made the building fireproof. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0035" id="link2H_4_0035"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + III.—A thorough-paced Reformer—if not a Revolutionary. + </h2> + <p> + By the kindness and influence of Sir Charles Sterling, Ginx's Baby that + night, and long after, found shelter in the Radical Club. He gave rise to + a discussion in the smoking-room next evening that ought to be chronicled. + Several members of the committee supported his benefactor in urging that + the child should be adopted by the Club, as a pledge of their resolve to + make the questions of which he seemed to be the embodied emblem subjects + of legislative action. Others said that those questions being, in their + view, social and not political, were not proper ones to give impulse to a + party movement, and that the entertainment in the Club of this foundling + would be a gross irregularity: they did not want samples of the material + respecting which they were theorizing. To some of the latter Sir Charles + had been insisting that, whether they kept the child or not, they could + not stifle the questions excited by his condition. + </p> + <p> + “You may delay, but you cannot dissipate them. We are filling up our + sessions with party struggles, theoretic discussions, squabbles about + foreign politics, debates on political machinery, while year by year the + condition of the people is becoming more invidious and full of peril. + Social and political reform ought to be linked; the people on whom you + confer new political rights cannot enjoy them without health and + well-being.” + </p> + <p> + “But all our legislation is directed to that!” exclaimed Mr. Joshua Hale. + “Reform, Free Trade, Free Corn—have these not enhanced the wealth of + the people?” + </p> + <p> + “Partially; yet there are classes unregenerated by their reviving + influences. Free trade cannot insure work, nor can free corn provide food + for every citizen.” + </p> + <p> + “Nor any other legislation: let us be practical. I own there is much to be + done. I have often stated my 'platform.' We must clip the enormous + expenditure on soldiers and ships; reduce our overweening army of + diplomatic spies and busybodies; abstain from meddling in everybody's + quarrels; redeem from taxation the workman's necessaries—a free + breakfast-table; peremptorily legislate against the custom of + primogeniture; encourage the distribution and transfer of land; and, under + the aegis of the ballot, protect from the tyranny of the landlord and + employer their tenants and workmen.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good, perhaps, all of them,” replied Sir Charles, “but some not at + the moment possible, and all together are not exhaustive. Why do you not + go to the bottom of social needs? You say nothing about Health legislation—are + you indifferent to the sanitary condition of the people? You have not + hinted at Education—Waste Lands—Emigration—” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! I am opposed to that altogether.” + </p> + <p> + “I forgot, you are a manufacturer; yet the last man of whom I should + believe that selfishness had warped the judgment. You have done and + endured more than any living statesman for the advantage of your + fellow-citizens, so that I will not cast at you the aspersion of + class-blindness. Still, I can scarcely think you have looked at this + matter in the pure light of patriotism, and not within the narrow scope of + trade interests.” + </p> + <p> + “Quite unjust. Our best economists reprehend the policy of depleting our + labor-market. Emigration is a timely remedy for adversity and to be very + sparingly used. Labor is our richest vein—” + </p> + <p> + “We may have too much of it. Take it as a fact that you now have more than + you can use, and the unemployed part is starving; what will you do with + them?” + </p> + <p> + “That is a mere temporary and casual depression, to which all classes are + liable.” + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Sir Charles, “which none can so ill bear. Nay—what if it + is permanent? You look to increased trade. Do you suppose we are to retain + our manufacturing pre-eminence when every country, new and old, is + competing with us? Can our trade, I ask you honestly to consider, increase + at the rate of our population? Besides, for heaven's sake, look at the + thing as a man. Grant that we have a hundred thousand men out of work, and + hundreds of thousands more dependent on them—do you think it no + small thing that the vast mass should be left for one, two, three years + seething in sorrow and distress, while they are waiting for trade! By the + time that comes they may have gone beyond the hope of rescue. Ah! if an + elastic trade comes back to-morrow, you can never make those people what + they were; ought we not to have forecast that they should not be what they + are? But I contend that depression has become chronic, the poverty more + wide-spread and persistent—how then shall we, who represent these + classes among the rest, face the prospect?” + </p> + <p> + Here interposed a gentleman high in office, a pure, keen, rigid economist + of the highest intellectual and political rank. + </p> + <p> + “My dear Sterling, pardon me if I say you are talking wildly. Perhaps you + don't see that you are verging on rank communism. The working of economic + laws can be as infallibly projected as a solar eclipse. You can secure no + class from periodic calamity, and so regulate laws of supply and demand by + guiding-wheels of legislation and taxation as to save every man from + penury. You wish us to send away our bone and sinew because we have no + present employment for it, and next year, or the year after, under a + recovered trade you will be wringing your hands and cursing the folly that + prompted you to do it.” + </p> + <p> + “I should be too glad of the opportunity,” replied Sir Charles, sturdily, + “but in truth there is an incubus of excessive numbers that no revival of + trade will provide for, even if it is beyond our extremest hopes, and I + for one will not be guilty of the inhumanity of keeping fellow-creatures + in misery till we can find a use for them. You have forgotten that there + are other economic laws besides those you glance at. Several millions of + acres of unoccupied land belonging in a sense to the people of this + country are to be kept untilled in defiance of the plainest policy that + nature and God have indicated to us, namely, that labor should come in + contact with land! For want of this conjunction our colonies are to be + checked, while at home miserable millions are gaping for work and food.” + </p> + <p> + “Oh! let them take themselves out. There are too many going already. They + will follow natural laws, and where labor is required thither the stream + will flow.” + </p> + <p> + “Mere surface talk, my clever friend,” replied the other, “the men who are + trooping out at their own expense are our most sober, careful, and + energetic workmen. Else they could not go. They go because here so many + indifferent ones are weighing down their shoulders. And where do most of + them go to? Not to strengthen and develop our colonies, but the United + States—a not always friendly people, and just now your free-trader's + bugbear!” + </p> + <p> + “Well, well,” said the minister, “drop that question. It's utterly + impracticable at this time. We couldn't entertain the demand for + State-help for an instant. I tell you again you're a Fourierite. You + virtually propose to put your hand in the pocket of the upper classes to + pay all sorts of expenses for the lower.” + </p> + <p> + “You may call me a communist if you please,” replied Sir Charles Sterling; + “I do not shrink from shadows. Perhaps I am in favor of something nearer + to communism than our present form of society. One thing I am clear about: + no state of society is healthy wherein every man does not own himself to + be the guardian of the interests of the community as well as his own—does + not see that he is bound, morally and as a matter of public policy, to add + to his neighbor's well-being as well as his own. Does not society, by its + protection and aggregation, make it possible for the rich to grow rich, + the genius and the ambitious man to pursue their aims, the merchant to + gather his vails, the noble to enjoy his lands? For these privileges there + is more or less to pay, and it may be that the proper proportion which the + capable classes should be called upon to contribute to the common weal has + never been correctly adjusted. The first fruit of practical Christianity + was community of goods, and but for human selfishness we might hope for an + Eutopian era—when, while it should be ruled that if a man would not + work neither should he eat, there should also be brought home to every man + the care of his poorer, or weaker, or less competent brother. I never + expect to see that. I do hope to see the men of greatest ability pay more + generously for the privileges they enjoy. The best policy for them too. + The better the condition of the general community the better for + themselves. You cannot alarm me with epithets. But these views are happily + not essential to the support of the Emigration policy.” + </p> + <p> + “O dear! O dear! mad as a March hare!” cried the minister, as he stumped + from the room. + </p> + <p> + “Sterling is a good fellow,” said he to a colleague with whom he walked + down Pall Mall, “and a thorough-paced Liberal. Besides, he carries great + weight in the House. But he is an enthusiast, and, therefore, not always + quite practical.” + </p> + <p> + By PRACTICAL the minister meant, not that which might well and to + advantage be done if good and able men would resolve to do it, spite of + all hindrances, but that which, upon a cunning review of party balances + and a judicious probing of public opinion, seemed to be a policy fit for + his party to pursue. The first, original and masterly statesmen are needed + to initiate and perform—the other is simply the art of a genius who + knows how most adroitly to manipulate people and circumstances. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0036" id="link2H_4_0036"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + IV.—Very Broad Views. + </h2> + <p> + Sir Charles Sterling, Mr. Joshua Hale, and others continued the + conversation interrupted by the minister's exit. What was to be done with + Ginx's Baby? In the great dissected map of society what niches were cut + out for him and all like him to fill? Most of the politicians were for + leaving that to himself to find out. The term “law of supply and demand” + was freely bandied between them, as it is in many journals nowadays, with + little object save to shut up avenues of discussion by a high-sounding + phrase. + </p> + <p> + Then of these “statesmen,” most clung, if not to self-interest, to + personal crotchets. What is more darling to a man than the child of his + intellect or fancy? How the poor poetaster hugs his tawdry verses as if + they were the imperial ornaments of genius! Just in the same way does the + politician love the policies himself hath devised, pressing them forward + at all hazards, while he is blind to the utility of others. This is the + basis of that aspect of selfishness which often mars in the approbation of + a country a really honest statesmanship—an egotistic tenacity of + one's own creature as the best, which yet is not the criminal selfishness + of ambition. Still that egotism is not seldom disastrous to the people's + interests. While these statesmen nursed their own bantlings and held them + up to national notice, they were apt to avoid or too lightly regard the + views of men as able as themselves. For instance, Joshua Hale—who is + far above these remarks generally—had put forth a scheme for the + solution of the St. Helena property question—very likely a good one, + albeit revolutionary, and nothing would convince him that any other could + succeed. He wished every man in St. Helena—a turbulent adjunct of + the British Empire—to be a landowner, and I do think, neither + desired nor hoped that any man in that island should be happy until he was + one. Yet there were other men ready to offer simpler remedies, and to + prove that if every man in St. Helena became a landowner it would become a + very hell upon earth, and more unmanageable than it was before. If these + gentlemen do not sacrifice their pet fancies for the sake of a settlement, + what will become of St. Helena? + </p> + <p> + Just now they were discussing Ginx's Baby. One thought that repeal of the + Poor-Laws and a new system of relief would reach his case; another saw the + root of the Baby's sorrow in Trades' Unions; a third propounded + cooperative manufactures; a fourth suggested that a vast source of income + lay untouched in the seas about the kingdom, which swarmed with porpoises, + and showed how certain parts of these animals were available for food, + others for leather, others for a delicious oil that would be sweeter and + more pleasant than butter; a fifth desired a law to repress the tendency + of Scotch peers to evict tenants and convert arable lands into sheep-walks + and deer-forests; a sixth maintained that there were waste lands in the + kingdom of capacity to support hungry millions. In fact earth, heaven, and + seas were to be regenerated by Act of Parliament for the benefit of Ginx's + Baby and the people of England. Sir Charles listened impatiently, and at + last burst forth again. + </p> + <p> + He said: “When you consider it, what we are all trying to do nowadays is—vulgarly—to + improve the breed; but we go to work in a round-about way. At the outset + we are met by the depreciated state of part of the existing generation; + and one problem is to prevent these depreciated people from increasing, or + to get them to increase healthily. No one seems to have gone directly to + such a problem as that. The difficulties to be faced are tremendous. Your + dirtiest British youngster is hedged round with principles of an + inviolable liberty and rights of Habeas Corpus. You let his father and + mother, or any one who will save you the trouble of looking after him, + mould him in his years of tenderness as they please. If they happen to + leave him a walking invalid, you take him into the poorhouse; if they + bring him up a thief, you whip him and keep him at high cost at Millbank + or Dartmoor; if his passions, never controlled, break out into murder and + rape, you may hang him, unless his crime has been so atrocious as to + attract the benevolent interest of the Home Secretary; if he commit + suicide, you hold a coroner's inquest, which also costs money; and however + he dies you give him a deal coffin and bury him. Yet I may prove to you + that this being, whom you treat like a dog at a fair, never had a day's—no, + nor an hour's—contact with goodness, purity, truth, or even human + kindness; never had an opportunity of learning anything better. What right + have you then to hunt him like a wild beast, and kick him and whip him, + and fetter him and hang him by expensive complicated machinery, when you + have done nothing to teach him any of the duties of a citizen?” + </p> + <p> + “Stop, stop, Sir Charles! you are too virulent. There are endless means of + improving your lad—charities without number——” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, that will never reach him.” + </p> + <p> + “Never mind, they may, you know. Industrial schools, reformatories, + asylums, hospitals, Peabody-buildings, poor-laws. Everybody is working to + improve the condition of the poor man. Sanitary administration goes to his + house and makes it habitable.” + </p> + <p> + “Very,” interjected Sir Charles Sterling, dryly. + </p> + <p> + “Factory laws protect and educate factory children——” + </p> + <p> + “They don't educate in one case out of ten. They don't feed them, clothe + them, give them amusement and cultivation, do they?” + </p> + <p> + “Certainly not—that would be ridiculous.” + </p> + <p> + “Why, the question is whether that would be ridiculous!” replied Sir + Charles. “I do not say it can be done, but in order to transform the next + generation, what we should aim at is to provide substitutes for bad homes, + evil training, unhealthy air, food and dulness, and terrible ignorance, in + happier scenes, better teaching, proper conditions of physical life, sane + amusements, and a higher cultivation. I dare say you would think me a + lunatic if I proposed that Government should establish music-halls and + gymnasia all over the country; but you, Mr. Fissure, voted for the Baths + and Washhouses.” + </p> + <p> + “Who's to pay for all this?” asked Mr. Fissure, pertinently. + </p> + <p> + “The State, which means society, the whole of which is directly + interested. I tell you a million of children are crying to us to set them + free from the despotism of a crime and ignorance protected by law.” + </p> + <p> + “That is striking; but you are treading on delicate ground. The liberty of + the subject——” + </p> + <p> + “Exactly what I expected you to say. These words can be used in defence of + almost any injustice and tyranny. Such terms as 'political economy,' + 'communism,' 'socialism,' are bandied about in the same way. Yet + propositions coming fairly within these terms are often mentioned with + approval by the very persons who cast them at you. In a report of a recent + Royal Commission I find that one of the Commissioners is quite as + revolutionary as I am. He says it is right by law to secure that no child + shall be cruelly treated or mentally neglected, over-worked or + under-educated. Some people would call that communism, I fancy. But I + think him to be correct as a political economist in that broad + proposition. Why? Because a child's relation to the State is wider, more + permanent, and more important than his relation to his parents. If he is + in danger of being depreciated and damned for good citizenship, the State + must rescue him.” + </p> + <p> + “A paternal and maternal government together!” cries Lord Namby—“a + government of nurses. You know I should like to stop the production of + children among the lower orders. Your propositions are far in advance of + my radicalism. The State must sometimes interfere between parent and + child; for instance, in education or protection from cruelty. But, if I + understand you, you actually contemplate a general refining and elevation + of the working class by legislative means.” + </p> + <p> + “Assuredly: I should aim to cultivate their morals, refine their tastes, + manners, habits. I wish to lift from them that ever-depressing sense of + hopelessness which keeps them in the dust.” + </p> + <p> + “So do most men; but you must do that by personal and private influences, + not by State enactments. How would you do it?” + </p> + <p> + “How? I think I could draw up a programme. For instance: Expatriate a + million to reduce the competition that keeps poor devils on half-rations + or sends them to the poorhouse; Take all the sick, maimed, old, and + incapable poor into workhouses managed by humane men and not by ghouls; + Forbid such people to marry and propagate weakness; Legislate for + compulsory improvements of workmen's dwellings, and, if needful, lend the + money to execute it; Extend and enforce the health laws; Open free + libraries and places of rational amusement with an imperial bounty through + the country; Instead of spending thousands on dilettanti sycophants at one + end of the metropolis, distribute your art and amusement to the kingdom at + large; The rich have their museums, libraries, and clubs, provide them for + the poor; Establish temporary homes for lying-in women; Multiply your + baths and washhouses till there is no excuse for a dirty person; Educate; + Provide day schools for every proper child, and industrial or reformatory + schools for every improper one; Open advanced High Schools for the best + pupils, and found Scholarships to the Universities; Erect other schools + for technical training; Offer to teach trades and agriculture to all + comers for nothing—you would soon neutralize your bugbear of + trades-unionism; Teach morals, teach science, teach art, teach them to + amuse themselves like men and not like brutes. In a land so wealthy the + programme is not impracticable, though severe. As the end to be attained + is the welfare of future generations, no good reason could be urged why + they should not contribute towards the cost of it—a better debt to + leave to posterity than the incubus of an irrational war.” + </p> + <p> + Will any sane political practitioner wonder to be told that at the end of + this harangue the smoking-room party broke up, and that some, as they + laughed good-humoredly over Sterling's egregia, recalled the number of + glasses of inspirited seltzer swallowed by the orator? He was so far in + advance of the most radical reformer that there was no hope of overtaking + him for an era or two: so they determined to fancy they had left him + behind. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0037" id="link2H_4_0037"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + V.—Party Tactics—and Political Obstructions to Social Reform. + </h2> + <p> + In the Club our hero revelled awhile under the protection of Sir Charles + Sterling, and the petting of peers, Members of Parliament, and loungers + who swarm therein. Certain gentlemen of Stock Exchange mannerism and + dressiness gave the protege the go-by, and even sneered at those who + noticed him with kindness. But then these are of the men with whom every + question is checked by money, and is balanced on the pivot of profit and + loss. I dare say some of them thought the worse of Judas only because he + had made so small a gain out of his celebrated transaction. To foster + Ginx's Baby in the Club, as a recognition of the important questions + surrounding him, though these questions involved hundreds of thousands of + other cases, was to them ridiculous. Of far greater consequence was it in + their eyes to settle a dispute between two extravagant fools at + Constantinople and Cairo, and quicken the sluggishness of Turkish consols + or Egyptian 9 per cents. I do not cast stones at them; every man must look + at a thing with his own eyes. + </p> + <p> + But it was curious to note how the Baby's fortunes shifted in the Club. + There were times—when he was a pet chucked under chin by the elder + stagers, favored with a smile from a Cabinet Minister, and now and then + blessed with a nod from Mr. Joshua Hale. Then, again, every one seemed to + forget him, and he was for months left unnoticed to the chance kindness of + the menials until some case similar to his own happening to evoke + discussion in the press, there would be a general inquiry for him. The + porter, Mr. Smirke, had succeeded, by means of a detective, in discovering + the boy's name, but his parents were then half-way to Canada. + </p> + <p> + The members of the Fogey Club opposite, hearing that so interesting a + foundling was being cherished by their opponents, politely asked leave to + examine him, and he occasionally visited them. They treated him kindly and + discussed his condition with earnestness. The leaders of the party debated + whether he might not with advantage be taken out of their opponents' + hands. Some thought that a judicious use of him might win popularity; but + others objected that it would be perilous for them to mix themselves up + with so doleful an interest. In the result the Fogies tipped young Ginx, + but did not commit themselves for or against him. Thus a long time + elapsed, and our hero had grown old enough to be a page. He had received + food, clothing, and goodwill, but no one had thought of giving him an + education. Sometimes he became obstreperous. He played tricks with the + Club cutlery, and diverted its silver to improper uses; he laid traps for + upsetting aged and infirm legislators; he tried the coolness of the + youngest and best-natured Members of Parliament by popping up in strange + places and exhibiting unseemly attitudes. At length, by unanimous consent, + he was decreed to be a nuisance, and a few days would have revoked his + license at the Club. + </p> + <p> + No sooner did the Fogies get wind of this than they manoeuvred to get + Ginx's Baby under their own management. They instructed their “organs,” as + they called them, to pipe to popular feeling on the disgraceful apathy of + the Radicals in regard to the foundling. They had him waylaid and treated + to confectionery by their emissaries; and once or twice succeeded in + abducting him and sending him down to the country with their party's + candidates, for exhibition at elections. + </p> + <p> + The Radicals resented this conduct extremely. Ginx's Baby was brought back + to the Club and restored to favor. The Government papers were instructed + to detail how much he was petted and talked about by the party; to declare + how needless was the popular excitement on his behalf; and to prove that + he must, without any special legislation, be benefited by the + extraordinary organic changes then being made in the constitution of the + country. + </p> + <p> + Sir Charles Sterling resumed his interest in the boy. He had been + gallantly aiding his party in other questions. There was the Timbuctoo + question. A miserable desert chief had shut up a wandering Englishman, not + possessed of wit enough to keep his head out of danger. There was a + general impression that English honor was at stake, and the previous Fogey + Government had ordered an expedition to cross the desert and punish the + sheikh. You would never believe what it cost if you had not seen the bill. + Ten millions sterling was as good as buried in the desert, when one-tenth + of it would have saved a hundred thousand people from starvation at home, + and one-hundredth part of it would have taken the fetters off the hapless + prisoner's feet. + </p> + <p> + There was the St. Helena question always brooding over Parliament. St. + Helena was a constituent part of the British Empire. Every patriot agreed + that the Empire without it would be incomplete; and was so far right that + its subtraction would have left the Empire by so much less. Most of its + inhabitants were aboriginal—a mercurial race, full of fire, + quick-witted, and gifted with the exuberant eloquence of savages, but + deficient in dignity and self-control. Before any one else had been given + them by Providence to fight, they slaughtered and ravaged one another. Our + intrusive British ancestors stepped upon the island, and, being strong + men, mowed down the islanders like wheat, and appropriated the lands their + swords had cleared. Still the aborigines held out in corners, and defied + the conquerors. The latter ground them down, confiscated the property of + their half-dozen chiefs, and distributed it among themselves. By way of + showing their imperial imperiousness, they built over some ruins left by + their devastations a great church, in which they ordered all the islanders + to worship. This was at first abomination to the islanders, who fought + like devils whenever they could, and ended by accepting the religion of + their foes. But the conquerors, afterwards choosing to change their own + faith, resolved that the islanders should do so too. Forthwith they + confiscated the big church and burying-ground, and, distributing part of + the land and spoils among their most prominent scamps, erected a new + edifice of quite a different character, in which the natives swore they + could neither see nor hear, and their own clerics warned them they would + certainly be damned. To make the complications more intricate, these + clerics owed allegiance to an ancient woman in a distant country, who had + all the meddlesomeness and petty jealousy of her sex, and was, besides, + much attached to some clever wooers of hers, wily sinners who covered + their aims under the semblance of ultra-extreme passion for her. The + prominent scamps died, to be succeeded by their children, or other of the + hated conquerors, from generation to generation. The islanders went on + increasing and protesting. T hey starved upon the lands, and shot the + landlords when a few gave them the chance, for most lived away in their + own country, and left the property to be administered by agents. The Home + Government had again and again been obliged to assist these people with + soldiers, to provide an armed police, to shoot down mobs, to catch a + ringleader here or there and send him to Fernando Po, or to deprive whole + villages of ordinary civil rights. Then the yam crop failed, and nearly + half the people left the island and crossed the seas, where they continued + to hate and to plot against those whose misfortune it had been to get a + legacy of the island from their fathers. It would be wearisome to recount + the absurdities on both sides: the stupidity or criminal absence of tact + from time to time shown by the Home Government—the resolve never to + be quiet exhibited by the natives, under the prompting of their clerics. + Upon + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “—that common stage of novelty—” + </pre> + <p> + there were ever springing up fresh difficulties. Secret clubs were formed + for murder and reprisal. A body called the “Yellows” had bound themselves + by private oaths to keep up the memory of the religious victories of their + predecessors, and to worry the clerical party in every possible way. Their + pleasure was to go about insanely blowing rams'-horns, carrying flags and + bearing oranges in their hands. The islanders hated oranges, and at every + opportunity cracked the skulls of the orange-bearers with brutal weapons + peculiar to the island. These, in return, cracked native skulls. The whole + island was in a state of perpetual commotion. Still, its general condition + improved, its farms grew prosperous, and a joint-stock company had built a + mill for converting cocoanut fibre into horse-cloths, which yielded large + profits. The memory of past events might well have been buried; but the + clerics, in the interest of the old woman, fanned the embers, and the + infamous bidding for popularity of parties at home served to keep alive + passions that would naturally have died out. Besides, latterly folly had + been too organized on both sides to suffer oblivion. Everybody was tired + of the squabbles of St. Helena. At length there was a general movement in + the interests of peace, and to pacify the islanders Parliament was asked + to pull down the wings of the old church edifice, remove some of the + graves, and cut off a large piece of the graveyard. Some were in favor + also of dividing all the farms in the country among the aborigines, but + the difficulty was to know how at the same time to satisfy the present + occupiers. These schemes were topics of high debate, upon them the + fortunes of Government rose and fell, and while they were agitated Ginx's + Baby could have no chance of a parliamentary hearing. Many other matters + of singular indifference had eaten up the legislative time; but at last + the increasing number of wretched infants throughout the country began to + alarm the people, and Sir Charles Sterling thought the time had come to + move on behalf of Ginx's Baby and his fellows. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0038" id="link2H_4_0038"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + VI.—Amateur Debating in a High Legislative Body. + </h2> + <p> + While Sir Charles was trying to get the Government to “give him a night” + to debate the Ginx's Baby case, and while associations were being formed + in the metropolis for disposing of him by expatriation or otherwise, a + busy peer without notice to anybody, suddenly brought the subject before + the House of Lords. As he had never seen the Baby, and knew nothing or + very little about him, I need scarcely report the elaborate speech in + which he asked for aristocratic sympathy on his behalf. He proposed to + send him to the Antipodes at the expense of the nation. + </p> + <p> + The Minister for the Accidental Accompaniments of the Empire was a clever + man—keen, genial, subtle, two-edged, a gentlemanly and not thorough + disciple of Machiavel; able to lead parliamentary forlorn hopes and plant + flags on breaches, or to cover retreats with brilliant skirmishing; deft, + but never deep; much moved too by the opinions of his permanent staff. + These on the night in question had plied him well with hackneyed + objections; but to see him get up and relieve himself of them—the + air of originality, the really original air he threw around them; the + absurd light which he turned full on the weaknesses of his noble friend's + propositions, was as beautiful to an indifferent critic as it as saddening + to the man who had at heart the sorrows of his kind. If that minister + lived long he would be forced to adopt and advocate in as pretty a manner + the policy he was dissecting. Lord Munnibagge, a great authority in + economic matters, said that a weaker case had never been presented to + Parliament. To send away Ginx's Baby to a colony at imperial expense was + at once to rob the pockets of the rich and to decrease our labor-power. + There was no necessity for it. Ginx's Baby could not starve in a country + like this. He (Lord Munnibagge) had never heard of a case of a baby + starving. There was no such wide-spread distress as was represented by the + noble lord. There were occasional periods of stagnation in trade, and no + doubt in these periods the poorer classes would suffer; but trade was + elastic; and even if it were granted that the present was a period when + employment had failed, the time was not far off when trade would + recuperate. (Cheers.) Ginx's Baby and all other babies would not then wish + to go away. People were always making exaggerated statements about the + condition of the poor. He (Lord Munnibagge) did not credit them. He + believed the country, though temporarily depressed by financial collapses, + to be in a most healthy state. (Hear, hear.) It was absurd to say + otherwise, when it was shown by the Board of Trade returns that we were + growing richer every day. (Cheers.) Of course Ginx's Baby must be growing + richer with the rest. Was not that a complete answer to the noble lord's + plaintive outcries? (Cheers and laughter.) That the population of a + country was a great fraction of its wealth was an elementary principle of + political economy. He thought, from the high rates of wages, that there + were not too many but too few laborers in the country. He should oppose + the motion. (Cheers.) + </p> + <p> + Two or three noble lords repeated similar platitudes, guarding themselves + as carefully from any reference to facts, or to the question whether high + rates of wages might not be the concomitants simply of high prices of + necessaries, or to the yet wider question whether colonial development + might not have something to do with progress at home. The noble lord who + had rushed unprepared into the arena was unequal to the forces marshalled + against him, and withdrew his motion. Thus the great debate collapsed. The + Lords were relieved that an awkward question had so easily been shifted. + The newspapers on the ministerial side declared that this debate had + proved the futility of the Ginx's Baby Expatriation question. “So able an + authority as Lord Munnibagge had established that there was no necessity + for the interference of Government in the case of Ginx's Baby or any other + babies or persons. The lucid and decisive statement of the Secretary for + the Accidental Accompaniments of the Empire had shown how impossible it + was for the Imperial Government to take part in a great scheme of + Expatriation; how impolitic to endeavor to affect the ordinary laws of + free movement to the Colonies.” Surely after this the Expatriation people + hid their lights under a bushel! The Government refused to find a night + for Sir Charles Sterling, and after the Lords' debate he did not see his + way to force a motion in the Lower House. Meanwhile Ginx's Baby once more + decided a turn in his own fate. Tired of the slow life of the Club, and + shivering amid the chill indifference of his patrons, he borrowed without + leave some clothes from an inmate's room, with a few silver forks and + spoons, and decamped. Whether the baronet and the Club were bashful of + public ridicule or glad to be rid of the charge, I know not, but no + attempt was made to recover him. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2H_PART5" id="link2H_PART5"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + PART V. WHAT GINX'S BABY DID WITH HIMSELF. + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + A full-formed Horse will, in any market, bring from twenty + to as high as two hundred Friedrichs d'or: such is his worth + to the world. A full-formed Man is not only worth nothing + to the world, but the world could afford him a round sum + would he simply engage to go and hang himself.—SARTOR + RESARTUS. +</pre> + <p> + <a name="link2H_4_0040" id="link2H_4_0040"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + The Last Chapter. + </h2> + <p> + Our hero was nearly fifteen years old when he left the Club to plunge into + the world. He was not long in converting his spoils into money, and a very + short time in spending it. Then he had to pit his wits against starvation, + and some of his throws were desperate. Wherever he went the world seemed + terribly full. If he answered an advertisement for an errand-boy, there + were a score kicking their heels at the rendezvous before him. Did he try + to learn a useful trade, thousands of adepts were not only ready to + underbid him, but to knock him on the head for an interloper. Even the + thieves, to whom he gravitated, were jealous of his accession, because + there were too many competitors already in their department. Through his + career of penury, of honest and dishonest callings, of 'scapes and + captures, imprisonments and other punishments, a year's reading of + Metropolitan Police Reports would furnish the exact counterpart. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + I don't know how many years after his flight from Pall Mall, one dim + midnight, I, returning from Richmond, lounged over Vauxhall Bridge, + listening to the low lapping of the current beneath the arches—looking + above to the stars and along the dark polished surface that reflected a + thousand lights in its undulations,—feeling the awfulness of the + dense, suppressed life that was wrapt within the gloom and calm of the + hour. I suddenly saw a shadow, a human shadow, that at the sound of my + footstep quickly crossed my dreamy vision—quickly, noiselessly came + and went before my eyes until it stood up high and outlined against the + strangely-mingled haze. It looked like the ghost of a slight-formed man, + hatless and coatless, and for a moment I saw at its upper extremity the + dull flash as of a human face in the gloom, before the shadow leaped out + far into the night. Splash! When my startled eyes looked down upon the + glancing, waving ebony, I thought I could trace a white coruscation of + foam spreading out into the darkness, instantly to dissipate and be lost + for ever. I did not then know what form it was that swilled down below the + glistening current. Had I known that it was Ginx's Baby I should perhaps + have thought “Society, which, in the sacred names of Law and Charity, + forbad the father to throw his child over Vauxhall Bridge, at a time when + he was alike unconscious of life and death, has at last itself driven him + over the parapet into the greedy waters”—— + </p> + <p> + Philosophers, Philanthropists, Politicians, Papists and Protestants, + Poor-Law Ministers and Parish Officers—while you have been + theorizing and discussing, debating, wrangling, legislating and + administering—Good God! gentlemen, between you all, where has Ginx's + Baby gone to? + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ginx's Baby, by Edward Jenkins + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GINX'S BABY *** + +***** This file should be named 581-h.htm or 581-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/581/ + +Produced by Charles Keller, and David Widger + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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