summaryrefslogtreecommitdiff
path: root/5787.txt
diff options
context:
space:
mode:
Diffstat (limited to '5787.txt')
-rw-r--r--5787.txt2848
1 files changed, 2848 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/5787.txt b/5787.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a63a5f5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/5787.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,2848 @@
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+ Part 6
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: March 1994 [EBook #5787]
+Posting Date: June 3, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 6.
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+(Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+First published in 1880
+
+Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS:
+
+ 1. PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR
+ 2. TITIAN'S MOSES
+ 3. THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES
+ 236. A SUNDAY MORNING'S DEMON
+ 237. JUST SAVED
+ 238. SCENE IN VALLEY OF ZERMATT
+ 239. ARRIVAL AT ZERMATT
+ 240. FITTED OUT
+ 241. A FEARFUL FALL
+ 242. TAIL PIECE
+ 243. ALL READY
+ 244. THE MARCH
+ 245. THE CARAVAN
+ 246. THE HOOK
+ 247. THE DISABLED CHAPLAIN
+ 248. TRYING EXPERIMENTS
+ 249. SAVED! SAVED!
+ 250. TWENTY MINUTES WORK
+ 251. THE BLACK RAM
+ 252. THE MIRACLE
+ 253. THE NEW GUIDE
+ 251. SCIENTIFIC RESEARCHES
+ 255. MOUNTAIN CHALET
+ 256. THE GRANDSON
+ 257. OCCASIONLY MET WITH
+ 258. SUMMIT OF THE GORNER GRAT
+ 259. CHIEFS OF THE ADVANCE GUARD
+ 260. MY PICTURE OF THE MATTERHORN
+ 261. EVERYBODY HAD AN EXCUSE
+ 262. SPRUNG A LEAK
+ 263. A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION
+ 264. A TERMINAL MORAINE
+ 265. FRONT OF GLACIER
+ 266. AN OLD MORAINE
+ 267. GLACIER OF ZERMATT WITH LATERAL MORAINE
+ 269. UNEXPECTED MEETING OF FRIENDS
+ 269. VILLAGE OF CHAMONIX
+ 270. THE MATTERHORN
+ 271. ON THE SUMMIT
+ 272. ACCIDENT ON THE MATTERHORN (1865)
+ 273. ROPED TOGETHER
+ 274. STORAGE OF ANCESTORS
+ 275. FALLING OUT OF HIS FARM
+ 276. CHILD LIFE IN SWITZERLAND
+ 277. A SUNDAY PLAY
+ 278. THE COMBINATION
+ 279. CHILLON
+ 280. THE TETE NOIR
+ 281. MONT BLANC'S NEIGHBORS
+ 282. AN EXQUISITE THING
+ 283. A WILD RIDE
+ 284. SWISS PEASANT GIRL
+
+
+
+CONTENTS: CHAPTER XXXVI Sunday Church Bells--A Cause of
+Profanity--A Magnificent Glacier--Fault Finding by Harris--Almost
+an Accident--Selfishness of Harris--Approaching Zermatt--The
+Matterhorn--Zermatt--Home of Mountain Climbers--Fitted out for
+Climbing--A Fearful Adventure --Never Satisfied
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII A Calm Decision--"I Will Ascend the
+Riffelberg"--Preparations for the Trip--All Zermatt on the
+Alert--Schedule of Persons and Things--An Unprecedented Display--A
+General Turn--out--Ready for a Start--The Post of Danger--The Advance
+Directed--Grand Display of Umbrellas--The First Camp--Almost a
+Panic--Supposed to be Lost--The First Accident--A Chaplain Disabled--An
+Experimenting Mule--Good Effects of a Blunder--Badly Lost--A
+Reconnoiter--Mystery and Doubt--Stern Measures Taken--A Black Ram--Saved
+by a Miracle--The Guide's Guide
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII Our Expedition Continued--Experiments with the
+Barometer--Boiling Thermometer--Barometer Soup--An Interesting
+Scientific Discovery--Crippling a Latinist--A Chaplain Injured--Short
+of Barkeepers--Digging a Mountain Cellar--A Young American
+Specimen--Somebody's Grandson--Arrival at Riffelberg Botel--Ascent of
+Gorner Grat--Faith in Thermometers--The Matterhorn
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX Guide Books--Plans for the Return of the Expedition--A
+Glacier Train--Parachute Descent from Gorner Grat--Proposed Honors
+to Harris Declined--All had an Excuse--A Magnificent Idea
+Abandoned--Descent to the Glacier--A Supposed Leak--A Slow Train--The
+Glacier Abandoned--Journey to Zermatt--A Scientific Question
+
+CHAPTER XL Glaciers--Glacier Perils--Moraines--Terminal
+Moraines--Lateral Moraines--Immense Size of Glacier--Traveling
+Glacier----General Movements of Glaciers--Ascent of Mont Blacc--Loss
+of Guides--Finding of Remains--Meeting of Old Friends--The Dead and
+Living--Proposed Museum--The Relics at Chamonix
+
+CHAPTER XLI The Matterhorn Catastrophe of 1563--Mr Whymper's
+Narrative--Ascent of the Matterhorn--The Summit--The Matterhorn
+Conquered--The Descent Commenced--A Fearful Disaster--Death of Lord
+Douglas and Two Others--The Graves of the Two
+
+CHAPTER XLII Switzerland--Graveyard at Zermatt--Balloting for
+Marriage--Farmers as Heroes--Falling off a Farm--From St Nicholas to
+Visp--Dangerous Traveling--Children's Play--The Parson's Children--A
+Landlord's Daughter--A Rare Combination--Ch iIIon--Lost Sympathy--Mont
+Blanc and its Neighbors--Beauty of Soap Bubbles--A Wild Drive--The King
+of Drivers--Benefit of getting Drunk
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+[The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing]
+
+
+We did not oversleep at St. Nicholas. The church-bell began to ring at
+four-thirty in the morning, and from the length of time it continued
+to ring I judged that it takes the Swiss sinner a good while to get the
+invitation through his head. Most church-bells in the world are of poor
+quality, and have a harsh and rasping sound which upsets the temper and
+produces much sin, but the St. Nicholas bell is a good deal the worst
+one that has been contrived yet, and is peculiarly maddening in its
+operation. Still, it may have its right and its excuse to exist, for the
+community is poor and not every citizen can afford a clock, perhaps; but
+there cannot be any excuse for our church-bells at home, for there is
+no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair
+pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from
+our steeples. There is much more profanity in America on Sunday than in
+all in the other six days of the week put together, and it is of a more
+bitter and malignant character than the week-day profanity, too. It is
+produced by the cracked-pot clangor of the cheap church-bells.
+
+
+
+We build our churches almost without regard to cost; we rear an edifice
+which is an adornment to the town, and we gild it, and fresco it, and
+mortgage it, and do everything we can think of to perfect it, and then
+spoil it all by putting a bell on it which afflicts everybody who hears
+it, giving some the headache, others St. Vitus's dance, and the rest the
+blind staggers.
+
+An American village at ten o'clock on a summer Sunday is the quietest
+and peacefulest and holiest thing in nature; but it is a pretty
+different thing half an hour later. Mr. Poe's poem of the "Bells" stands
+incomplete to this day; but it is well enough that it is so, for the
+public reciter or "reader" who goes around trying to imitate the sounds
+of the various sorts of bells with his voice would find himself "up a
+stump" when he got to the church-bell--as Joseph Addison would say. The
+church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be
+a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. It is still
+clinging to one or two things which were useful once, but which are
+not useful now, neither are they ornamental. One is the bell-ringing
+to remind a clock-caked town that it is church-time, and another is the
+reading from the pulpit of a tedious list of "notices" which everybody
+who is interested has already read in the newspaper. The clergyman even
+reads the hymn through--a relic of an ancient time when hymn-books are
+scarce and costly; but everybody has a hymn-book, now, and so the public
+reading is no longer necessary. It is not merely unnecessary, it is
+generally painful; for the average clergyman could not fire into his
+congregation with a shotgun and hit a worse reader than himself, unless
+the weapon scattered shamefully. I am not meaning to be flippant and
+irreverent, I am only meaning to be truthful. The average clergyman, in
+all countries and of all denominations, is a very bad reader. One would
+think he would at least learn how to read the Lord's Prayer, by and by,
+but it is not so. He races through it as if he thought the quicker
+he got it in, the sooner it would be answered. A person who does not
+appreciate the exceeding value of pauses, and does not know how to
+measure their duration judiciously, cannot render the grand simplicity
+and dignity of a composition like that effectively.
+
+We took a tolerably early breakfast, and tramped off toward Zermatt
+through the reeking lanes of the village, glad to get away from that
+bell. By and by we had a fine spectacle on our right. It was the
+wall-like butt end of a huge glacier, which looked down on us from an
+Alpine height which was well up in the blue sky. It was an astonishing
+amount of ice to be compacted together in one mass. We ciphered upon it
+and decided that it was not less than several hundred feet from the base
+of the wall of solid ice to the top of it--Harris believed it was
+really twice that. We judged that if St. Paul's, St. Peter's, the Great
+Pyramid, the Strasburg Cathedral and the Capitol in Washington were
+clustered against that wall, a man sitting on its upper edge could not
+hang his hat on the top of any one of them without reaching down three
+or four hundred feet--a thing which, of course, no man could do.
+
+To me, that mighty glacier was very beautiful. I did not imagine that
+anybody could find fault with it; but I was mistaken. Harris had been
+snarling for several days. He was a rabid Protestant, and he was always
+saying:
+
+"In the Protestant cantons you never see such poverty and dirt and
+squalor as you do in this Catholic one; you never see the lanes and
+alleys flowing with foulness; you never see such wretched little sties
+of houses; you never see an inverted tin turnip on top of a church for
+a dome; and as for a church-bell, why, you never hear a church-bell at
+all."
+
+All this morning he had been finding fault, straight along. First it was
+with the mud. He said, "It ain't muddy in a Protestant canton when it
+rains." Then it was with the dogs: "They don't have those lop-eared dogs
+in a Protestant canton." Then it was with the roads: "They don't leave
+the roads to make themselves in a Protestant canton, the people make
+them--and they make a road that IS a road, too." Next it was the goats:
+"You never see a goat shedding tears in a Protestant canton--a goat,
+there, is one of the cheerfulest objects in nature." Next it was the
+chamois: "You never see a Protestant chamois act like one of these--they
+take a bite or two and go; but these fellows camp with you and stay."
+Then it was the guide-boards: "In a Protestant canton you couldn't get
+lost if you wanted to, but you never see a guide-board in a Catholic
+canton." Next, "You never see any flower-boxes in the windows,
+here--never anything but now and then a cat--a torpid one; but you take
+a Protestant canton: windows perfectly lovely with flowers--and as for
+cats, there's just acres of them. These folks in this canton leave a
+road to make itself, and then fine you three francs if you 'trot' over
+it--as if a horse could trot over such a sarcasm of a road." Next about
+the goiter: "THEY talk about goiter!--I haven't seen a goiter in this
+whole canton that I couldn't put in a hat."
+
+He had growled at everything, but I judged it would puzzle him to find
+anything the matter with this majestic glacier. I intimated as much; but
+he was ready, and said with surly discontent: "You ought to see them in
+the Protestant cantons."
+
+This irritated me. But I concealed the feeling, and asked:
+
+"What is the matter with this one?"
+
+"Matter? Why, it ain't in any kind of condition. They never take any
+care of a glacier here. The moraine has been spilling gravel around it,
+and got it all dirty."
+
+"Why, man, THEY can't help that."
+
+"THEY? You're right. That is, they WON'T. They could if they wanted to.
+You never see a speck of dirt on a Protestant glacier. Look at the Rhone
+glacier. It is fifteen miles long, and seven hundred feet thick. If this
+was a Protestant glacier you wouldn't see it looking like this, I can
+tell you."
+
+"That is nonsense. What would they do with it?"
+
+"They would whitewash it. They always do."
+
+I did not believe a word of this, but rather than have trouble I let it
+go; for it is a waste of breath to argue with a bigot. I even doubted if
+the Rhone glacier WAS in a Protestant canton; but I did not know, so I
+could not make anything by contradicting a man who would probably put me
+down at once with manufactured evidence.
+
+About nine miles from St. Nicholas we crossed a bridge over the raging
+torrent of the Visp, and came to a log strip of flimsy fencing which
+was pretending to secure people from tumbling over a perpendicular wall
+forty feet high and into the river. Three children were approaching; one
+of them, a little girl, about eight years old, was running; when pretty
+close to us she stumbled and fell, and her feet shot under the rail of
+the fence and for a moment projected over the stream. It gave us a
+sharp shock, for we thought she was gone, sure, for the ground slanted
+steeply, and to save herself seemed a sheer impossibility; but she
+managed to scramble up, and ran by us laughing.
+
+We went forward and examined the place and saw the long tracks which her
+feet had made in the dirt when they darted over the verge. If she had
+finished her trip she would have struck some big rocks in the edge of
+the water, and then the torrent would have snatched her downstream among
+the half-covered boulders and she would have been pounded to pulp in two
+minutes. We had come exceedingly near witnessing her death.
+
+
+
+And now Harris's contrary nature and inborn selfishness were strikingly
+manifested. He has no spirit of self-denial. He began straight off, and
+continued for an hour, to express his gratitude that the child was not
+destroyed. I never saw such a man. That was the kind of person he was;
+just so HE was gratified, he never cared anything about anybody else. I
+had noticed that trait in him, over and over again. Often, of course, it
+was mere heedlessness, mere want of reflection. Doubtless this may have
+been the case in most instances, but it was not the less hard to bar
+on that account--and after all, its bottom, its groundwork, was
+selfishness. There is no avoiding that conclusion. In the instance under
+consideration, I did think the indecency of running on in that way might
+occur to him; but no, the child was saved and he was glad, that was
+sufficient--he cared not a straw for MY feelings, or my loss of such a
+literary plum, snatched from my very mouth at the instant it was
+ready to drop into it. His selfishness was sufficient to place his own
+gratification in being spared suffering clear before all concern for
+me, his friend. Apparently, he did not once reflect upon the valuable
+details which would have fallen like a windfall to me: fishing the child
+out--witnessing the surprise of the family and the stir the thing would
+have made among the peasants--then a Swiss funeral--then the roadside
+monument, to be paid for by us and have our names mentioned in it. And
+we should have gone into Baedeker and been immortal. I was silent. I was
+too much hurt to complain. If he could act so, and be so heedless and so
+frivolous at such a time, and actually seem to glory in it, after all
+I had done for him, I would have cut my hand off before I would let him
+see that I was wounded.
+
+
+
+We were approaching Zermatt; consequently, we were approaching the
+renowned Matterhorn. A month before, this mountain had been only a name
+to us, but latterly we had been moving through a steadily thickening
+double row of pictures of it, done in oil, water, chromo, wood, steel,
+copper, crayon, and photography, and so it had at length become a shape
+to us--and a very distinct, decided, and familiar one, too. We were
+expecting to recognize that mountain whenever or wherever we should run
+across it. We were not deceived. The monarch was far away when we first
+saw him, but there was no such thing as mistaking him. He has the rare
+peculiarity of standing by himself; he is peculiarly steep, too, and is
+also most oddly shaped. He towers into the sky like a colossal wedge,
+with the upper third of its blade bent a little to the left. The broad
+base of this monster wedge is planted upon a grand glacier-paved Alpine
+platform whose elevation is ten thousand feet above sea-level; as the
+wedge itself is some five thousand feet high, it follows that its apex
+is about fifteen thousand feet above sea-level. So the whole bulk of
+this stately piece of rock, this sky-cleaving monolith, is above the
+line of eternal snow. Yet while all its giant neighbors have the look of
+being built of solid snow, from their waists up, the Matterhorn stands
+black and naked and forbidding, the year round, or merely powdered or
+streaked with white in places, for its sides are so steep that the
+snow cannot stay there. Its strange form, its august isolation, and its
+majestic unkinship with its own kind, make it--so to speak--the Napoleon
+of the mountain world. "Grand, gloomy, and peculiar," is a phrase which
+fits it as aptly as it fitted the great captain.
+
+Think of a monument a mile high, standing on a pedestal two miles high!
+This is what the Matterhorn is--a monument. Its office, henceforth, for
+all time, will be to keep watch and ward over the secret resting-place
+of the young Lord Douglas, who, in 1865, was precipitated from the
+summit over a precipice four thousand feet high, and never seen again.
+No man ever had such a monument as this before; the most imposing of
+the world's other monuments are but atoms compared to it; and they will
+perish, and their places will pass from memory, but this will remain.
+
+[The accident which cost Lord Douglas his life (see Chapter xii) also
+cost the lives of three other men. These three fell four-fifths of a
+mile, and their bodies were afterward found, lying side by side, upon a
+glacier, whence they were borne to Zermatt and buried in the churchyard.
+
+The remains of Lord Douglas have never been found. The secret of his
+sepulture, like that of Moses, must remain a mystery always.]
+
+A walk from St. Nicholas to Zermatt is a wonderful experience. Nature
+is built on a stupendous plan in that region. One marches continually
+between walls that are piled into the skies, with their upper heights
+broken into a confusion of sublime shapes that gleam white and cold
+against the background of blue; and here and there one sees a big
+glacier displaying its grandeurs on the top of a precipice, or a
+graceful cascade leaping and flashing down the green declivities. There
+is nothing tame, or cheap, or trivial--it is all magnificent. That
+short valley is a picture-gallery of a notable kind, for it contains
+no mediocrities; from end to end the Creator has hung it with His
+masterpieces.
+
+
+
+We made Zermatt at three in the afternoon, nine hours out from
+St. Nicholas. Distance, by guide-book, twelve miles; by pedometer
+seventy-two. We were in the heart and home of the mountain-climbers,
+now, as all visible things testified. The snow-peaks did not hold
+themselves aloof, in aristocratic reserve; they nestled close around,
+in a friendly, sociable way; guides, with the ropes and axes and other
+implements of their fearful calling slung about their persons, roosted
+in a long line upon a stone wall in front of the hotel, and waited for
+customers; sun-burnt climbers, in mountaineering costume, and followed
+by their guides and porters, arrived from time to time, from breakneck
+expeditions among the peaks and glaciers of the High Alps; male and
+female tourists, on mules, filed by, in a continuous procession,
+hotelward-bound from wild adventures which would grow in grandeur every
+time they were described at the English or American fireside, and at
+last outgrow the possible itself.
+
+We were not dreaming; this was not a make-believe home of the
+Alp-climber, created by our heated imaginations; no, for here was Mr.
+Girdlestone himself, the famous Englishman who hunts his way to the most
+formidable Alpine summits without a guide. I was not equal to imagining
+a Girdlestone; it was all I could do to even realize him, while looking
+straight at him at short range. I would rather face whole Hyde Parks of
+artillery than the ghastly forms of death which he has faced among the
+peaks and precipices of the mountains. There is probably no pleasure
+equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure
+which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. I have
+not jumped to this conclusion; I have traveled to it per gravel-train,
+so to speak. I have thought the thing all out, and am quite sure I am
+right. A born climber's appetite for climbing is hard to satisfy; when
+it comes upon him he is like a starving man with a feast before him; he
+may have other business on hand, but it must wait. Mr. Girdlestone had
+had his usual summer holiday in the Alps, and had spent it in his usual
+way, hunting for unique chances to break his neck; his vacation was
+over, and his luggage packed for England, but all of a sudden a hunger
+had come upon him to climb the tremendous Weisshorn once more, for he
+had heard of a new and utterly impossible route up it. His baggage
+was unpacked at once, and now he and a friend, laden with knapsacks,
+ice-axes, coils of rope, and canteens of milk, were just setting out.
+They would spend the night high up among the snows, somewhere, and
+get up at two in the morning and finish the enterprise. I had a
+strong desire to go with them, but forced it down--a feat which Mr.
+Girdlestone, with all his fortitude, could not do.
+
+Even ladies catch the climbing mania, and are unable to throw it off.
+A famous climber, of that sex, had attempted the Weisshorn a few days
+before our arrival, and she and her guides had lost their way in a
+snow-storm high up among the peaks and glaciers and been forced to
+wander around a good while before they could find a way down. When this
+lady reached the bottom, she had been on her feet twenty-three hours!
+
+Our guides, hired on the Gemmi, were already at Zermatt when we
+reached there. So there was nothing to interfere with our getting up an
+adventure whenever we should choose the time and the object. I resolved
+to devote my first evening in Zermatt to studying up the subject of
+Alpine climbing, by way of preparation.
+
+I read several books, and here are some of the things I found out. One's
+shoes must be strong and heavy, and have pointed hobnails in them. The
+alpenstock must be of the best wood, for if it should break, loss of
+life might be the result. One should carry an ax, to cut steps in the
+ice with, on the great heights. There must be a ladder, for there are
+steep bits of rock which can be surmounted with this instrument--or this
+utensil--but could not be surmounted without it; such an obstruction
+has compelled the tourist to waste hours hunting another route, when a
+ladder would have saved him all trouble. One must have from one hundred
+and fifty to five hundred feet of strong rope, to be used in lowering
+the party down steep declivities which are too steep and smooth to
+be traversed in any other way. One must have a steel hook, on another
+rope--a very useful thing; for when one is ascending and comes to a low
+bluff which is yet too high for the ladder, he swings this rope aloft
+like a lasso, the hook catches at the top of the bluff, and then the
+tourist climbs the rope, hand over hand--being always particular to try
+and forget that if the hook gives way he will never stop falling till
+he arrives in some part of Switzerland where they are not expecting him.
+Another important thing--there must be a rope to tie the whole party
+together with, so that if one falls from a mountain or down a bottomless
+chasm in a glacier, the others may brace back on the rope and save him.
+One must have a silk veil, to protect his face from snow, sleet, hail
+and gale, and colored goggles to protect his eyes from that dangerous
+enemy, snow-blindness. Finally, there must be some porters, to carry
+provisions, wine and scientific instruments, and also blanket bags for
+the party to sleep in.
+
+
+
+I closed my readings with a fearful adventure which Mr. Whymper once had
+on the Matterhorn when he was prowling around alone, five thousand
+feet above the town of Breil. He was edging his way gingerly around
+the corner of a precipice where the upper edge of a sharp declivity of
+ice-glazed snow joined it. This declivity swept down a couple of hundred
+feet, into a gully which curved around and ended at a precipice eight
+hundred feet high, overlooking a glacier. His foot slipped, and he fell.
+
+He says:
+
+"My knapsack brought my head down first, and I pitched into some rocks
+about a dozen feet below; they caught something, and tumbled me off
+the edge, head over heels, into the gully; the baton was dashed from my
+hands, and I whirled downward in a series of bounds, each longer than
+the last; now over ice, now into rocks, striking my head four or five
+times, each time with increased force. The last bound sent me spinning
+through the air in a leap of fifty or sixty feet, from one side of the
+gully to the other, and I struck the rocks, luckily, with the whole of
+my left side. They caught my clothes for a moment, and I fell back on to
+the snow with motion arrested. My head fortunately came the right side
+up, and a few frantic catches brought me to a halt, in the neck of the
+gully and on the verge of the precipice. Baton, hat, and veil skimmed
+by and disappeared, and the crash of the rocks--which I had started--as
+they fell on to the glacier, told how narrow had been the escape from
+utter destruction. As it was, I fell nearly two hundred feet in seven or
+eight bounds. Ten feet more would have taken me in one gigantic leap of
+eight hundred feet on to the glacier below.
+
+
+
+"The situation was sufficiently serious. The rocks could not be let go
+for a moment, and the blood was spurting out of more than twenty cuts.
+The most serious ones were in the head, and I vainly tried to close
+them with one hand, while holding on with the other. It was useless;
+the blood gushed out in blinding jets at each pulsation. At last, in a
+moment of inspiration, I kicked out a big lump of snow and struck it
+as plaster on my head. The idea was a happy one, and the flow of blood
+diminished. Then, scrambling up, I got, not a moment too soon, to
+a place of safety, and fainted away. The sun was setting when
+consciousness returned, and it was pitch-dark before the Great Staircase
+was descended; but by a combination of luck and care, the whole four
+thousand seven hundred feet of descent to Breil was accomplished without
+a slip, or once missing the way."
+
+His wounds kept him abed some days. Then he got up and climbed that
+mountain again. That is the way with a true Alp-climber; the more fun he
+has, the more he wants.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+[Our Imposing Column Starts Upward]
+
+
+After I had finished my readings, I was no longer myself; I was tranced,
+uplifted, intoxicated, by the almost incredible perils and adventures
+I had been following my authors through, and the triumphs I had been
+sharing with them. I sat silent some time, then turned to Harris and
+said:
+
+"My mind is made up."
+
+Something in my tone struck him: and when he glanced at my eye and
+read what was written there, his face paled perceptibly. He hesitated a
+moment, then said:
+
+"Speak."
+
+I answered, with perfect calmness:
+
+"I will ascend the Riffelberg."
+
+If I had shot my poor friend he could not have fallen from his chair
+more suddenly. If I had been his father he could not have pleaded harder
+to get me to give up my purpose. But I turned a deaf ear to all he said.
+When he perceived at last that nothing could alter my determination, he
+ceased to urge, and for a while the deep silence was broken only by his
+sobs. I sat in marble resolution, with my eyes fixed upon vacancy, for
+in spirit I was already wrestling with the perils of the mountains, and
+my friend sat gazing at me in adoring admiration through his tears.
+At last he threw himself upon me in a loving embrace and exclaimed in
+broken tones:
+
+"Your Harris will never desert you. We will die together."
+
+I cheered the noble fellow with praises, and soon his fears were
+forgotten and he was eager for the adventure. He wanted to summon the
+guides at once and leave at two in the morning, as he supposed the
+custom was; but I explained that nobody was looking at that hour; and
+that the start in the dark was not usually made from the village but
+from the first night's resting-place on the mountain side. I said we
+would leave the village at 3 or 4 P.M. on the morrow; meantime he could
+notify the guides, and also let the public know of the attempt which we
+proposed to make.
+
+I went to bed, but not to sleep. No man can sleep when he is about to
+undertake one of these Alpine exploits. I tossed feverishly all night
+long, and was glad enough when I heard the clock strike half past eleven
+and knew it was time to get up for dinner. I rose, jaded and rusty, and
+went to the noon meal, where I found myself the center of interest and
+curiosity; for the news was already abroad. It is not easy to eat calmly
+when you are a lion; but it is very pleasant, nevertheless.
+
+As usual, at Zermatt, when a great ascent is about to be undertaken,
+everybody, native and foreign, laid aside his own projects and took up
+a good position to observe the start. The expedition consisted of 198
+persons, including the mules; or 205, including the cows. As follows:
+
+ CHIEFS OF SERVICE SUBORDINATES
+
+ Myself 1 Veterinary Surgeon
+ Mr. Harris 1 Butler
+ 17 Guides 12 Waiters
+ 4 Surgeons 1 Footman
+ 1 Geologist 1 Barber
+ 1 Botanist 1 Head Cook
+ 3 Chaplains 9 Assistants
+ 2 Draftsman 4 Pastry Cooks
+ 15 Barkeepers 1 Confectionery Artist
+ 1 Latinist
+
+ TRANSPORTATION, ETC.
+
+ 27 Porters 3 Coarse Washers and Ironers
+ 44 Mules 1 Fine ditto
+ 44 Muleteers 7 Cows
+ 2 Milkers
+
+Total, 154 men, 51 animals. Grand Total, 205.
+
+
+ RATIONS, ETC. APPARATUS
+
+ 16 Cases Hams 25 Spring Mattresses
+ 2 Barrels Flour 2 Hair ditto
+ 22 Barrels Whiskey Bedding for same
+ 1 Barrel Sugar 2 Mosquito-nets
+ 1 Keg Lemons 29 Tents
+ 2,000 Cigars Scientific Instruments
+ 1 Barrel Pies 97 Ice-axes
+ 1 Ton of Pemmican 5 Cases Dynamite
+ 143 Pair Crutches 7 Cans Nitroglycerin
+ 2 Barrels Arnica 22 40-foot Ladders
+ 1 Bale of Lint 2 Miles of Rope
+ 27 Kegs Paregoric 154 Umbrellas
+
+It was full four o'clock in the afternoon before my cavalcade was
+entirely ready. At that hour it began to move. In point of numbers and
+spectacular effect, it was the most imposing expedition that had ever
+marched from Zermatt.
+
+
+
+I commanded the chief guide to arrange the men and animals in single
+file, twelve feet apart, and lash them all together on a strong rope. He
+objected that the first two miles was a dead level, with plenty of room,
+and that the rope was never used except in very dangerous places. But
+I would not listen to that. My reading had taught me that many serious
+accidents had happened in the Alps simply from not having the people
+tied up soon enough; I was not going to add one to the list. The guide
+then obeyed my order.
+
+When the procession stood at ease, roped together, and ready to move, I
+never saw a finer sight. It was 3,122 feet long--over half a mile; every
+man and me was on foot, and had on his green veil and his blue goggles,
+and his white rag around his hat, and his coil of rope over one shoulder
+and under the other, and his ice-ax in his belt, and carried his
+alpenstock in his left hand, his umbrella (closed) in his right, and his
+crutches slung at his back. The burdens of the pack-mules and the horns
+of the cows were decked with the Edelweiss and the Alpine rose.
+
+I and my agent were the only persons mounted. We were in the post of
+danger in the extreme rear, and tied securely to five guides apiece. Our
+armor-bearers carried our ice-axes, alpenstocks, and other implements
+for us. We were mounted upon very small donkeys, as a measure of safety;
+in time of peril we could straighten our legs and stand up, and let
+the donkey walk from under. Still, I cannot recommend this sort of
+animal--at least for excursions of mere pleasure--because his
+ears interrupt the view. I and my agent possessed the regulation
+mountaineering costumes, but concluded to leave them behind. Out of
+respect for the great numbers of tourists of both sexes who would be
+assembled in front of the hotels to see us pass, and also out of respect
+for the many tourists whom we expected to encounter on our expedition,
+we decided to make the ascent in evening dress.
+
+
+
+We watered the caravan at the cold stream which rushes down a trough
+near the end of the village, and soon afterward left the haunts of
+civilization behind us. About half past five o'clock we arrived at a
+bridge which spans the Visp, and after throwing over a detachment to see
+if it was safe, the caravan crossed without accident. The way now led,
+by a gentle ascent, carpeted with fresh green grass, to the church at
+Winkelmatten. Without stopping to examine this edifice, I executed
+a flank movement to the right and crossed the bridge over the
+Findelenbach, after first testing its strength. Here I deployed to the
+right again, and presently entered an inviting stretch of meadowland
+which was unoccupied save by a couple of deserted huts toward the
+furthest extremity. These meadows offered an excellent camping-place.
+We pitched our tents, supped, established a proper grade, recorded the
+events of the day, and then went to bed.
+
+We rose at two in the morning and dressed by candle-light. It was a
+dismal and chilly business. A few stars were shining, but the general
+heavens were overcast, and the great shaft of the Matterhorn was draped
+in a cable pall of clouds. The chief guide advised a delay; he said he
+feared it was going to rain. We waited until nine o'clock, and then got
+away in tolerably clear weather.
+
+
+
+Our course led up some terrific steeps, densely wooded with larches and
+cedars, and traversed by paths which the rains had guttered and which
+were obstructed by loose stones. To add to the danger and inconvenience,
+we were constantly meeting returning tourists on foot and horseback, and
+as constantly being crowded and battered by ascending tourists who were
+in a hurry and wanted to get by.
+
+Our troubles thickened. About the middle of the afternoon the seventeen
+guides called a halt and held a consultation. After consulting an hour
+they said their first suspicion remained intact--that is to say, they
+believed they were lost. I asked if they did not KNOW it? No, they said,
+they COULDN'T absolutely know whether they were lost or not, because
+none of them had ever been in that part of the country before. They had
+a strong instinct that they were lost, but they had no proofs--except
+that they did not know where they were. They had met no tourists for
+some time, and they considered that a suspicious sign.
+
+Plainly we were in an ugly fix. The guides were naturally unwilling to
+go alone and seek a way out of the difficulty; so we all went together.
+For better security we moved slow and cautiously, for the forest was
+very dense. We did not move up the mountain, but around it, hoping to
+strike across the old trail. Toward nightfall, when we were about tired
+out, we came up against a rock as big as a cottage. This barrier took
+all the remaining spirit out of the men, and a panic of fear and despair
+ensued. They moaned and wept, and said they should never see their homes
+and their dear ones again. Then they began to upbraid me for bringing
+them upon this fatal expedition. Some even muttered threats against me.
+
+Clearly it was no time to show weakness. So I made a speech in which I
+said that other Alp-climbers had been in as perilous a position as this,
+and yet by courage and perseverance had escaped. I promised to stand
+by them, I promised to rescue them. I closed by saying we had plenty
+of provisions to maintain us for quite a siege--and did they suppose
+Zermatt would allow half a mile of men and mules to mysteriously
+disappear during any considerable time, right above their noses, and
+make no inquiries? No, Zermatt would send out searching-expeditions and
+we should be saved.
+
+This speech had a great effect. The men pitched the tents with some
+little show of cheerfulness, and we were snugly under cover when the
+night shut down. I now reaped the reward of my wisdom in providing one
+article which is not mentioned in any book of Alpine adventure but this.
+I refer to the paregoric. But for that beneficent drug, would have not
+one of those men slept a moment during that fearful night. But for that
+gentle persuader they must have tossed, unsoothed, the night through;
+for the whiskey was for me. Yes, they would have risen in the morning
+unfitted for their heavy task. As it was, everybody slept but my agent
+and me--only we and the barkeepers. I would not permit myself to sleep
+at such a time. I considered myself responsible for all those lives. I
+meant to be on hand and ready, in case of avalanches up there, but I did
+not know it then.
+
+We watched the weather all through that awful night, and kept an eye on
+the barometer, to be prepared for the least change. There was not the
+slightest change recorded by the instrument, during the whole time.
+Words cannot describe the comfort that that friendly, hopeful, steadfast
+thing was to me in that season of trouble. It was a defective barometer,
+and had no hand but the stationary brass pointer, but I did not know
+that until afterward. If I should be in such a situation again, I should
+not wish for any barometer but that one.
+
+
+
+All hands rose at two in the morning and took breakfast, and as soon as
+it was light we roped ourselves together and went at that rock. For some
+time we tried the hook-rope and other means of scaling it, but without
+success--that is, without perfect success. The hook caught once, and
+Harris started up it hand over hand, but the hold broke and if there
+had not happened to be a chaplain sitting underneath at the time, Harris
+would certainly have been crippled. As it was, it was the chaplain. He
+took to his crutches, and I ordered the hook-rope to be laid aside. It
+was too dangerous an implement where so many people are standing around.
+
+
+
+We were puzzled for a while; then somebody thought of the ladders.
+One of these was leaned against the rock, and the men went up it tied
+together in couples. Another ladder was sent up for use in descending.
+At the end of half an hour everybody was over, and that rock was
+conquered. We gave our first grand shout of triumph. But the joy was
+short-lived, for somebody asked how we were going to get the animals
+over.
+
+This was a serious difficulty; in fact, it was an impossibility.
+The courage of the men began to waver immediately; once more we were
+threatened with a panic. But when the danger was most imminent, we were
+saved in a mysterious way. A mule which had attracted attention from the
+beginning by its disposition to experiment, tried to eat a five-pound
+can of nitroglycerin. This happened right alongside the rock. The
+explosion threw us all to the ground, and covered us with dirt and
+debris; it frightened us extremely, too, for the crash it made was
+deafening, and the violence of the shock made the ground tremble.
+However, we were grateful, for the rock was gone. Its place was occupied
+by a new cellar, about thirty feet across, by fifteen feet deep. The
+explosion was heard as far as Zermatt; and an hour and a half afterward,
+many citizens of that town were knocked down and quite seriously injured
+by descending portions of mule meat, frozen solid. This shows, better
+than any estimate in figures, how high the experimenter went.
+
+
+
+We had nothing to do, now, but bridge the cellar and proceed on our way.
+With a cheer the men went at their work. I attended to the engineering,
+myself. I appointed a strong detail to cut down trees with ice-axes and
+trim them for piers to support the bridge. This was a slow business, for
+ice-axes are not good to cut wood with. I caused my piers to be firmly
+set up in ranks in the cellar, and upon them I laid six of my forty-foot
+ladders, side by side, and laid six more on top of them. Upon this
+bridge I caused a bed of boughs to be spread, and on top of the boughs
+a bed of earth six inches deep. I stretched ropes upon either side to
+serve as railings, and then my bridge was complete. A train of elephants
+could have crossed it in safety and comfort. By nightfall the caravan
+was on the other side and the ladders were taken up.
+
+Next morning we went on in good spirits for a while, though our way
+was slow and difficult, by reason of the steep and rocky nature of the
+ground and the thickness of the forest; but at last a dull despondency
+crept into the men's faces and it was apparent that not only they, but
+even the guides, were now convinced that we were lost. The fact that we
+still met no tourists was a circumstance that was but too significant.
+Another thing seemed to suggest that we were not only lost, but very
+badly lost; for there must surely be searching-parties on the road
+before this time, yet we had seen no sign of them.
+
+Demoralization was spreading; something must be done, and done quickly,
+too. Fortunately, I am not unfertile in expedients. I contrived one
+now which commended itself to all, for it promised well. I took
+three-quarters of a mile of rope and fastened one end of it around the
+waist of a guide, and told him to go find the road, while the caravan
+waited. I instructed him to guide himself back by the rope, in case of
+failure; in case of success, he was to give the rope a series of violent
+jerks, whereupon the Expedition would go to him at once. He departed,
+and in two minutes had disappeared among the trees. I payed out the rope
+myself, while everybody watched the crawling thing with eager eyes.
+The rope crept away quite slowly, at times, at other times with some
+briskness. Twice or thrice we seemed to get the signal, and a shout was
+just ready to break from the men's lips when they perceived it was a
+false alarm. But at last, when over half a mile of rope had slidden
+away, it stopped gliding and stood absolutely still--one minute--two
+minutes--three--while we held our breath and watched.
+
+Was the guide resting? Was he scanning the country from some high point?
+Was he inquiring of a chance mountaineer? Stop,--had he fainted from
+excess of fatigue and anxiety?
+
+This thought gave us a shock. I was in the very first act of detailing
+an Expedition to succor him, when the cord was assailed with a series of
+such frantic jerks that I could hardly keep hold of it. The huzza that
+went up, then, was good to hear. "Saved! saved!" was the word that rang
+out, all down the long rank of the caravan.
+
+
+
+We rose up and started at once. We found the route to be good enough
+for a while, but it began to grow difficult, by and by, and this feature
+steadily increased. When we judged we had gone half a mile, we momently
+expected to see the guide; but no, he was not visible anywhere; neither
+was he waiting, for the rope was still moving, consequently he was
+doing the same. This argued that he had not found the road, yet, but
+was marching to it with some peasant. There was nothing for us to do
+but plod along--and this we did. At the end of three hours we were
+still plodding. This was not only mysterious, but exasperating. And very
+fatiguing, too; for we had tried hard, along at first, to catch up with
+the guide, but had only fagged ourselves, in vain; for although he was
+traveling slowly he was yet able to go faster than the hampered caravan
+over such ground.
+
+At three in the afternoon we were nearly dead with exhaustion--and still
+the rope was slowly gliding out. The murmurs against the guide had been
+growing steadily, and at last they were become loud and savage. A mutiny
+ensued. The men refused to proceed. They declared that we had been
+traveling over and over the same ground all day, in a kind of circle.
+They demanded that our end of the rope be made fast to a tree, so as to
+halt the guide until we could overtake him and kill him. This was not an
+unreasonable requirement, so I gave the order.
+
+As soon as the rope was tied, the Expedition moved forward with that
+alacrity which the thirst for vengeance usually inspires. But after a
+tiresome march of almost half a mile, we came to a hill covered thick
+with a crumbly rubbish of stones, and so steep that no man of us all
+was now in a condition to climb it. Every attempt failed, and ended in
+crippling somebody. Within twenty minutes I had five men on crutches.
+
+
+
+Whenever a climber tried to assist himself by the rope, it yielded and
+let him tumble backward. The frequency of this result suggested an idea
+to me. I ordered the caravan to 'bout face and form in marching order; I
+then made the tow-rope fast to the rear mule, and gave the command:
+
+"Mark time--by the right flank--forward--march!"
+
+
+
+The procession began to move, to the impressive strains of a
+battle-chant, and I said to myself, "Now, if the rope don't break I
+judge THIS will fetch that guide into the camp." I watched the rope
+gliding down the hill, and presently when I was all fixed for triumph
+I was confronted by a bitter disappointment; there was no guide tied to
+the rope, it was only a very indignant old black ram. The fury of the
+baffled Expedition exceeded all bounds. They even wanted to wreak their
+unreasoning vengeance on this innocent dumb brute. But I stood between
+them and their prey, menaced by a bristling wall of ice-axes and
+alpenstocks, and proclaimed that there was but one road to this murder,
+and it was directly over my corpse. Even as I spoke I saw that my doom
+was sealed, except a miracle supervened to divert these madmen from
+their fell purpose. I see the sickening wall of weapons now; I see that
+advancing host as I saw it then, I see the hate in those cruel eyes; I
+remember how I drooped my head upon my breast, I feel again the
+sudden earthquake shock in my rear, administered by the very ram I was
+sacrificing myself to save; I hear once more the typhoon of laughter
+that burst from the assaulting column as I clove it from van to rear
+like a Sepoy shot from a Rodman gun.
+
+
+
+I was saved. Yes, I was saved, and by the merciful instinct of
+ingratitude which nature had planted in the breast of that treacherous
+beast. The grace which eloquence had failed to work in those men's
+hearts, had been wrought by a laugh. The ram was set free and my life
+was spared.
+
+We lived to find out that that guide had deserted us as soon as he had
+placed a half-mile between himself and us. To avert suspicion, he had
+judged it best that the line should continue to move; so he caught that
+ram, and at the time that he was sitting on it making the rope fast to
+it, we were imagining that he was lying in a swoon, overcome by fatigue
+and distress. When he allowed the ram to get up it fell to plunging
+around, trying to rid itself of the rope, and this was the signal which
+we had risen up with glad shouts to obey. We had followed this ram round
+and round in a circle all day--a thing which was proven by the discovery
+that we had watered the Expedition seven times at one and same spring in
+seven hours. As expert a woodman as I am, I had somehow failed to notice
+this until my attention was called to it by a hog. This hog was always
+wallowing there, and as he was the only hog we saw, his frequent
+repetition, together with his unvarying similarity to himself, finally
+caused me to reflect that he must be the same hog, and this led me to
+the deduction that this must be the same spring, also--which indeed it
+was.
+
+I made a note of this curious thing, as showing in a striking manner the
+relative difference between glacial action and the action of the hog.
+It is now a well-established fact that glaciers move; I consider that
+my observations go to show, with equal conclusiveness, that a hog in a
+spring does not move. I shall be glad to receive the opinions of other
+observers upon this point.
+
+To return, for an explanatory moment, to that guide, and then I shall be
+done with him. After leaving the ram tied to the rope, he had wandered
+at large a while, and then happened to run across a cow. Judging that a
+cow would naturally know more than a guide, he took her by the tail,
+and the result justified his judgment. She nibbled her leisurely way
+downhill till it was near milking-time, then she struck for home and
+towed him into Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+[I Conquer the Gorner Grat]
+
+
+We went into camp on that wild spot to which that ram had brought us.
+The men were greatly fatigued. Their conviction that we were lost was
+forgotten in the cheer of a good supper, and before the reaction had a
+chance to set in, I loaded them up with paregoric and put them to bed.
+
+Next morning I was considering in my mind our desperate situation and
+trying to think of a remedy, when Harris came to me with a Baedeker
+map which showed conclusively that the mountain we were on was still in
+Switzerland--yes, every part of it was in Switzerland. So we were not
+lost, after all. This was an immense relief; it lifted the weight of two
+such mountains from my breast. I immediately had the news disseminated
+and the map was exhibited. The effect was wonderful. As soon as the men
+saw with their own eyes that they knew where they were, and that it
+was only the summit that was lost and not themselves, they cheered up
+instantly and said with one accord, let the summit take care of itself.
+
+Our distresses being at an end, I now determined to rest the men in camp
+and give the scientific department of the Expedition a chance. First,
+I made a barometric observation, to get our altitude, but I could not
+perceive that there was any result. I knew, by my scientific reading,
+that either thermometers or barometers ought to be boiled, to make them
+accurate; I did not know which it was, so I boiled them both. There was
+still no result; so I examined these instruments and discovered that
+they possessed radical blemishes: the barometer had no hand but the
+brass pointer and the ball of the thermometer was stuffed with tin-foil.
+I might have boiled those things to rags, and never found out anything.
+
+I hunted up another barometer; it was new and perfect. I boiled it half
+an hour in a pot of bean soup which the cooks were making. The result
+was unexpected: the instrument was not affecting at all, but there was
+such a strong barometer taste to the soup that the head cook, who was
+a most conscientious person, changed its name in the bill of fare.
+The dish was so greatly liked by all, that I ordered the cook to have
+barometer soup every day.
+
+
+
+It was believed that the barometer might eventually be injured, but I
+did not care for that. I had demonstrated to my satisfaction that it
+could not tell how high a mountain was, therefore I had no real use for
+it. Changes in the weather I could take care of without it; I did not
+wish to know when the weather was going to be good, what I wanted to
+know was when it was going to be bad, and this I could find out from
+Harris's corns. Harris had had his corns tested and regulated at the
+government observatory in Heidelberg, and one could depend upon them
+with confidence. So I transferred the new barometer to the cooking
+department, to be used for the official mess. It was found that even a
+pretty fair article of soup could be made from the defective barometer;
+so I allowed that one to be transferred to the subordinate mess.
+
+I next boiled the thermometer, and got a most excellent result; the
+mercury went up to about 200 degrees Fahrenheit. In the opinion of the
+other scientists of the Expedition, this seemed to indicate that we had
+attained the extraordinary altitude of two hundred thousand feet above
+sea-level. Science places the line of eternal snow at about ten thousand
+feet above sea-level. There was no snow where we were, consequently
+it was proven that the eternal snow-line ceases somewhere above the
+ten-thousand-foot level and does not begin any more. This was an
+interesting fact, and one which had not been observed by any observer
+before. It was as valuable as interesting, too, since it would open up
+the deserted summits of the highest Alps to population and agriculture.
+It was a proud thing to be where we were, yet it caused us a pang
+to reflect that but for that ram we might just as well have been two
+hundred thousand feet higher.
+
+The success of my last experiment induced me to try an experiment with
+my photographic apparatus. I got it out, and boiled one of my cameras,
+but the thing was a failure; it made the wood swell up and burst, and I
+could not see that the lenses were any better than they were before.
+
+I now concluded to boil a guide. It might improve him, it could not
+impair his usefulness. But I was not allowed to proceed. Guides have
+no feeling for science, and this one would not consent to be made
+uncomfortable in its interest.
+
+In the midst of my scientific work, one of those needless accidents
+happened which are always occurring among the ignorant and thoughtless.
+A porter shot at a chamois and missed it and crippled the Latinist.
+This was not a serious matter to me, for a Latinist's duties are as well
+performed on crutches as otherwise--but the fact remained that if the
+Latinist had not happened to be in the way a mule would have got that
+load. That would have been quite another matter, for when it comes down
+to a question of value there is a palpable difference between a Latinist
+and a mule. I could not depend on having a Latinist in the right place
+every time; so, to make things safe, I ordered that in the future the
+chamois must not be hunted within limits of the camp with any other
+weapon than the forefinger.
+
+My nerves had hardly grown quiet after this affair when they got another
+shake-up--one which utterly unmanned me for a moment: a rumor swept
+suddenly through the camp that one of the barkeepers had fallen over a
+precipice!
+
+However, it turned out that it was only a chaplain. I had laid in an
+extra force of chaplains, purposely to be prepared for emergencies
+like this, but by some unaccountable oversight had come away rather
+short-handed in the matter of barkeepers.
+
+On the following morning we moved on, well refreshed and in good
+spirits. I remember this day with peculiar pleasure, because it saw
+our road restored to us. Yes, we found our road again, and in quite an
+extraordinary way. We had plodded along some two hours and a half, when
+we came up against a solid mass of rock about twenty feet high. I did
+not need to be instructed by a mule this time. I was already beginning
+to know more than any mule in the Expedition. I at once put in a blast
+of dynamite, and lifted that rock out of the way. But to my surprise and
+mortification, I found that there had been a chalet on top of it.
+
+I picked up such members of the family as fell in my vicinity, and
+subordinates of my corps collected the rest. None of these poor people
+were injured, happily, but they were much annoyed. I explained to
+the head chaleteer just how the thing happened, and that I was only
+searching for the road, and would certainly have given him timely notice
+if I had known he was up there. I said I had meant no harm, and hoped
+I had not lowered myself in his estimation by raising him a few rods in
+the air. I said many other judicious things, and finally when I offered
+to rebuild his chalet, and pay for the breakages, and throw in the
+cellar, he was mollified and satisfied. He hadn't any cellar at all,
+before; he would not have as good a view, now, as formerly, but what he
+had lost in view he had gained in cellar, by exact measurement. He said
+there wasn't another hole like that in the mountains--and he would have
+been right if the late mule had not tried to eat up the nitroglycerin.
+
+I put a hundred and sixteen men at work, and they rebuilt the chalet
+from its own debris in fifteen minutes. It was a good deal more
+picturesque than it was before, too. The man said we were now on the
+Feil-Stutz, above the Schwegmatt--information which I was glad to get,
+since it gave us our position to a degree of particularity which we had
+not been accustomed to for a day or so. We also learned that we were
+standing at the foot of the Riffelberg proper, and that the initial
+chapter of our work was completed.
+
+
+
+We had a fine view, from here, of the energetic Visp, as it makes its
+first plunge into the world from under a huge arch of solid ice, worn
+through the foot-wall of the great Gorner Glacier; and we could also see
+the Furggenbach, which is the outlet of the Furggen Glacier.
+
+The mule-road to the summit of the Riffelberg passed right in front of
+the chalet, a circumstance which we almost immediately noticed, because
+a procession of tourists was filing along it pretty much all the time.
+
+"Pretty much" may not be elegant English, but it is high time it was.
+There is no elegant word or phrase which means just what it means.--M.T.
+
+The chaleteer's business consisted in furnishing refreshments to
+tourists. My blast had interrupted this trade for a few minutes, by
+breaking all the bottles on the place; but I gave the man a lot of
+whiskey to sell for Alpine champagne, and a lot of vinegar which would
+answer for Rhine wine, consequently trade was soon as brisk as ever.
+
+Leaving the Expedition outside to rest, I quartered myself in the
+chalet, with Harris, proposing to correct my journals and scientific
+observations before continuing the ascent. I had hardly begun my work
+when a tall, slender, vigorous American youth of about twenty-three, who
+was on his way down the mountain, entered and came toward me with that
+breezy self-complacency which is the adolescent's idea of the well-bred
+ease of the man of the world. His hair was short and parted accurately
+in the middle, and he had all the look of an American person who would
+be likely to begin his signature with an initial, and spell his middle
+name out. He introduced himself, smiling a smirky smile borrowed from
+the courtiers of the stage, extended a fair-skinned talon, and while he
+gripped my hand in it he bent his body forward three times at the
+hips, as the stage courtier does, and said in the airiest and most
+condescending and patronizing way--I quite remember his exact language:
+
+"Very glad to make your acquaintance, 'm sure; very glad indeed, assure
+you. I've read all your little efforts and greatly admired them, and
+when I heard you were here, I ..."
+
+I indicated a chair, and he sat down. This grandee was the grandson of
+an American of considerable note in his day, and not wholly forgotten
+yet--a man who came so near being a great man that he was quite
+generally accounted one while he lived.
+
+
+
+I slowly paced the floor, pondering scientific problems, and heard this
+conversation:
+
+GRANDSON. First visit to Europe?
+
+HARRIS. Mine? Yes.
+
+G.S. (With a soft reminiscent sigh suggestive of bygone joys that may
+be tasted in their freshness but once.) Ah, I know what it is to you. A
+first visit!--ah, the romance of it! I wish I could feel it again.
+
+H. Yes, I find it exceeds all my dreams. It is enchantment. I go...
+
+G.S. (With a dainty gesture of the hand signifying "Spare me your callow
+enthusiasms, good friend.") Yes, _I_ know, I know; you go to cathedrals,
+and exclaim; and you drag through league-long picture-galleries and
+exclaim; and you stand here, and there, and yonder, upon historic
+ground, and continue to exclaim; and you are permeated with your first
+crude conceptions of Art, and are proud and happy. Ah, yes, proud and
+happy--that expresses it. Yes-yes, enjoy it--it is right--it is an
+innocent revel.
+
+H. And you? Don't you do these things now?
+
+G.S. I! Oh, that is VERY good! My dear sir, when you are as old a
+traveler as I am, you will not ask such a question as that. _I_ visit
+the regulation gallery, moon around the regulation cathedral, do the
+worn round of the regulation sights, YET?--Excuse me!
+
+H. Well, what DO you do, then?
+
+G.S. Do? I flit--and flit--for I am ever on the wing--but I avoid the
+herd. Today I am in Paris, tomorrow in Berlin, anon in Rome; but you
+would look for me in vain in the galleries of the Louvre or the common
+resorts of the gazers in those other capitals. If you would find me, you
+must look in the unvisited nooks and corners where others never think
+of going. One day you will find me making myself at home in some obscure
+peasant's cabin, another day you will find me in some forgotten castle
+worshiping some little gem or art which the careless eye has overlooked
+and which the unexperienced would despise; again you will find me as
+guest in the inner sanctuaries of palaces while the herd is content to
+get a hurried glimpse of the unused chambers by feeing a servant.
+
+H. You are a GUEST in such places?
+
+G.S. And a welcoming one.
+
+H. It is surprising. How does it come?
+
+G.S. My grandfather's name is a passport to all the courts in Europe. I
+have only to utter that name and every door is open to me. I flit from
+court to court at my own free will and pleasure, and am always welcome.
+I am as much at home in the palaces of Europe as you are among your
+relatives. I know every titled person in Europe, I think. I have my
+pockets full of invitations all the time. I am under promise to go to
+Italy, where I am to be the guest of a succession of the noblest houses
+in the land. In Berlin my life is a continued round of gaiety in the
+imperial palace. It is the same, wherever I go.
+
+H. It must be very pleasant. But it must make Boston seem a little slow
+when you are at home.
+
+G.S. Yes, of course it does. But I don't go home much. There's no life
+there--little to feed a man's higher nature. Boston's very narrow, you
+know. She doesn't know it, and you couldn't convince her of it--so I say
+nothing when I'm there: where's the use? Yes, Boston is very narrow, but
+she has such a good opinion of herself that she can't see it. A man who
+has traveled as much as I have, and seen as much of the world, sees it
+plain enough, but he can't cure it, you know, so the best is to leave it
+and seek a sphere which is more in harmony with his tastes and culture.
+I run across there, once a year, perhaps, when I have nothing important
+on hand, but I'm very soon back again. I spend my time in Europe.
+
+H. I see. You map out your plans and ...
+
+G.S. No, excuse me. I don't map out any plans. I simply follow the
+inclination of the day. I am limited by no ties, no requirements, I
+am not bound in any way. I am too old a traveler to hamper myself with
+deliberate purposes. I am simply a traveler--an inveterate traveler--a
+man of the world, in a word--I can call myself by no other name. I do
+not say, "I am going here, or I am going there"--I say nothing at all, I
+only act. For instance, next week you may find me the guest of a grandee
+of Spain, or you may find me off for Venice, or flitting toward Dresden.
+I shall probably go to Egypt presently; friends will say to friends,
+"He is at the Nile cataracts"--and at that very moment they will be
+surprised to learn that I'm away off yonder in India somewhere. I am
+a constant surprise to people. They are always saying, "Yes, he was
+in Jerusalem when we heard of him last, but goodness knows where he is
+now."
+
+Presently the Grandson rose to leave--discovered he had an appointment
+with some Emperor, perhaps. He did his graces over again: gripped me
+with one talon, at arm's-length, pressed his hat against his stomach
+with the other, bent his body in the middle three times, murmuring:
+
+"Pleasure, 'm sure; great pleasure, 'm sure. Wish you much success."
+
+Then he removed his gracious presence. It is a great and solemn thing to
+have a grandfather.
+
+I have not purposed to misrepresent this boy in any way, for what little
+indignation he excited in me soon passed and left nothing behind it but
+compassion. One cannot keep up a grudge against a vacuum. I have tried
+to repeat this lad's very words; if I have failed anywhere I have at
+least not failed to reproduce the marrow and meaning of what he said.
+He and the innocent chatterbox whom I met on the Swiss lake are the most
+unique and interesting specimens of Young America I came across
+during my foreign tramping. I have made honest portraits of them, not
+caricatures.
+
+
+
+The Grandson of twenty-three referred to himself five or six times as
+an "old traveler," and as many as three times (with a serene complacency
+which was maddening) as a "man of the world." There was something very
+delicious about his leaving Boston to her "narrowness," unreproved and
+uninstructed.
+
+I formed the caravan in marching order, presently, and after riding down
+the line to see that it was properly roped together, gave the command to
+proceed. In a little while the road carried us to open, grassy land. We
+were above the troublesome forest, now, and had an uninterrupted view,
+straight before us, of our summit--the summit of the Riffelberg.
+
+We followed the mule-road, a zigzag course, now to the right, now to
+the left, but always up, and always crowded and incommoded by going and
+coming files of reckless tourists who were never, in a single instance,
+tied together. I was obliged to exert the utmost care and caution, for
+in many places the road was not two yards wide, and often the lower side
+of it sloped away in slanting precipices eight and even nine feet deep.
+I had to encourage the men constantly, to keep them from giving way to
+their unmanly fears.
+
+We might have made the summit before night, but for a delay caused by
+the loss of an umbrella. I was allowing the umbrella to remain lost, but
+the men murmured, and with reason, for in this exposed region we stood
+in peculiar need of protection against avalanches; so I went into camp
+and detached a strong party to go after the missing article.
+
+The difficulties of the next morning were severe, but our courage
+was high, for our goal was near. At noon we conquered the last
+impediment--we stood at last upon the summit, and without the loss of a
+single man except the mule that ate the glycerin. Our great achievement
+was achieved--the possibility of the impossible was demonstrated, and
+Harris and I walked proudly into the great dining-room of the Riffelberg
+Hotel and stood our alpenstocks up in the corner.
+
+Yes, I had made the grand ascent; but it was a mistake to do it in
+evening dress. The plug hats were battered, the swallow-tails were
+fluttering rags, mud added no grace, the general effect was unpleasant
+and even disreputable.
+
+
+
+There were about seventy-five tourists at the hotel--mainly ladies and
+little children--and they gave us an admiring welcome which paid us for
+all our privations and sufferings. The ascent had been made, and the
+names and dates now stand recorded on a stone monument there to prove it
+to all future tourists.
+
+I boiled a thermometer and took an altitude, with a most curious result:
+THE SUMMIT WAS NOT AS HIGH AS THE POINT ON THE MOUNTAINSIDE WHERE I
+HAD TAKEN THE FIRST ALTITUDE. Suspecting that I had made an important
+discovery, I prepared to verify it. There happened to be a still higher
+summit (called the Gorner Grat), above the hotel, and notwithstanding
+the fact that it overlooks a glacier from a dizzy height, and that the
+ascent is difficult and dangerous, I resolved to venture up there and
+boil a thermometer. So I sent a strong party, with some borrowed hoes,
+in charge of two chiefs of service, to dig a stairway in the soil all
+the way up, and this I ascended, roped to the guides. This breezy height
+was the summit proper--so I accomplished even more than I had originally
+purposed to do. This foolhardy exploit is recorded on another stone
+monument.
+
+
+
+I boiled my thermometer, and sure enough, this spot, which purported to
+be two thousand feet higher than the locality of the hotel, turned out
+to be nine thousand feet LOWER. Thus the fact was clearly demonstrated
+that, ABOVE A CERTAIN POINT, THE HIGHER A POINT SEEMS TO BE, THE LOWER
+IT ACTUALLY IS. Our ascent itself was a great achievement, but this
+contribution to science was an inconceivably greater matter.
+
+Cavilers object that water boils at a lower and lower temperature the
+higher and higher you go, and hence the apparent anomaly. I answer that
+I do not base my theory upon what the boiling water does, but upon what
+a boiled thermometer says. You can't go behind the thermometer.
+
+I had a magnificent view of Monte Rosa, and apparently all the rest of
+the Alpine world, from that high place. All the circling horizon was
+piled high with a mighty tumult of snowy crests. One might have
+imagined he saw before him the tented camps of a beleaguering host of
+Brobdingnagians.
+
+
+
+NOTE.--I had the very unusual luck to catch one little momentary glimpse
+of the Matterhorn wholly unencumbered by clouds. I leveled my
+photographic apparatus at it without the loss of an instant, and should
+have got an elegant picture if my donkey had not interfered. It was my
+purpose to draw this photograph all by myself for my book, but was
+obliged to put the mountain part of it into the hands of the
+professional artist because I found I could not do landscape well.
+
+But lonely, conspicuous, and superb, rose that wonderful upright wedge,
+the Matterhorn. Its precipitous sides were powdered over with snow, and
+the upper half hidden in thick clouds which now and then dissolved to
+cobweb films and gave brief glimpses of the imposing tower as through a
+veil. A little later the Matterhorn took to himself the semblance of
+a volcano; he was stripped naked to his apex--around this circled
+vast wreaths of white cloud which strung slowly out and streamed away
+slantwise toward the sun, a twenty-mile stretch of rolling and tumbling
+vapor, and looking just as if it were pouring out of a crater. Later
+again, one of the mountain's sides was clean and clear, and another
+side densely clothed from base to summit in thick smokelike cloud which
+feathered off and flew around the shaft's sharp edge like the smoke
+around the corners of a burning building. The Matterhorn is always
+experimenting, and always gets up fine effects, too. In the sunset, when
+all the lower world is palled in gloom, it points toward heaven out of
+the pervading blackness like a finger of fire. In the sunrise--well,
+they say it is very fine in the sunrise.
+
+Authorities agree that there is no such tremendous "layout" of snowy
+Alpine magnitude, grandeur, and sublimity to be seen from any other
+accessible point as the tourist may see from the summit of the
+Riffelberg. Therefore, let the tourist rope himself up and go there; for
+I have shown that with nerve, caution, and judgment, the thing can be
+done.
+
+I wish to add one remark, here--in parentheses, so to speak--suggested
+by the word "snowy," which I have just used. We have all seen hills and
+mountains and levels with snow on them, and so we think we know all the
+aspects and effects produced by snow. But indeed we do not until we have
+seen the Alps. Possibly mass and distance add something--at any rate,
+something IS added. Among other noticeable things, there is a dazzling,
+intense whiteness about the distant Alpine snow, when the sun is on it,
+which one recognizes as peculiar, and not familiar to the eye. The snow
+which one is accustomed to has a tint to it--painters usually give it a
+bluish cast--but there is no perceptible tint to the distant Alpine snow
+when it is trying to look its whitest. As to the unimaginable
+splendor of it when the sun is blazing down on it--well, it simply IS
+unimaginable.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+[We Travel by Glacier]
+
+
+A guide-book is a queer thing. The reader has just seen what a man who
+undertakes the great ascent from Zermatt to the Riffelberg Hotel must
+experience. Yet Baedeker makes these strange statements concerning this
+matter:
+
+ 1. Distance--3 hours.
+ 2. The road cannot be mistaken.
+ 3. Guide unnecessary.
+ 4. Distance from Riffelberg Hotel to the Gorner Grat, one hour and a half.
+ 5. Ascent simple and easy. Guide unnecessary.
+ 6. Elevation of Zermatt above sea-level, 5,315 feet.
+ 7. Elevation of Riffelberg Hotel above sea-level, 8,429 feet.
+ 8. Elevation of the Gorner Grat above sea-level, 10,289 feet.
+
+I have pretty effectually throttled these errors by sending him the
+following demonstrated facts:
+
+ 1. Distance from Zermatt to Riffelberg Hotel, 7 days.
+ 2. The road CAN be mistaken. If I am the first that did it, I want the credit
+ of it, too.
+ 3. Guides ARE necessary, for none but a native can read those finger-boards.
+ 4. The estimate of the elevation of the several localities above sea-level
+ is pretty correct--for Baedeker. He only misses it about a hundred and
+ eighty or ninety thousand feet.
+
+I found my arnica invaluable. My men were suffering excruciatingly, from
+the friction of sitting down so much. During two or three days, not
+one of them was able to do more than lie down or walk about; yet so
+effective was the arnica, that on the fourth all were able to sit up.
+I consider that, more than to anything else, I owe the success of our
+great undertaking to arnica and paregoric.
+
+My men are being restored to health and strength, my main perplexity,
+now, was how to get them down the mountain again. I was not willing to
+expose the brave fellows to the perils, fatigues, and hardships of that
+fearful route again if it could be helped. First I thought of balloons;
+but, of course, I had to give that idea up, for balloons were
+not procurable. I thought of several other expedients, but upon
+consideration discarded them, for cause. But at last I hit it. I was
+aware that the movement of glaciers is an established fact, for I had
+read it in Baedeker; so I resolved to take passage for Zermatt on the
+great Gorner Glacier.
+
+Very good. The next thing was, how to get down the glacier
+comfortably--for the mule-road to it was long, and winding, and
+wearisome. I set my mind at work, and soon thought out a plan. One looks
+straight down upon the vast frozen river called the Gorner Glacier, from
+the Gorner Grat, a sheer precipice twelve hundred feet high. We had
+one hundred and fifty-four umbrellas--and what is an umbrella but a
+parachute?
+
+I mentioned this noble idea to Harris, with enthusiasm, and was about to
+order the Expedition to form on the Gorner Grat, with their umbrellas,
+and prepare for flight by platoons, each platoon in command of a guide,
+when Harris stopped me and urged me not to be too hasty. He asked me if
+this method of descending the Alps had ever been tried before. I said
+no, I had not heard of an instance. Then, in his opinion, it was a
+matter of considerable gravity; in his opinion it would not be well to
+send the whole command over the cliff at once; a better way would be to
+send down a single individual, first, and see how he fared.
+
+I saw the wisdom in this idea instantly. I said as much, and thanked
+my agent cordially, and told him to take his umbrella and try the thing
+right away, and wave his hat when he got down, if he struck in a soft
+place, and then I would ship the rest right along.
+
+Harris was greatly touched with this mark of confidence, and said so,
+in a voice that had a perceptible tremble in it; but at the same time he
+said he did not feel himself worthy of so conspicuous a favor; that it
+might cause jealousy in the command, for there were plenty who would not
+hesitate to say he had used underhanded means to get the appointment,
+whereas his conscience would bear him witness that he had not sought it
+at all, nor even, in his secret heart, desired it.
+
+I said these words did him extreme credit, but that he must not throw
+away the imperishable distinction of being the first man to descend
+an Alp per parachute, simply to save the feelings of some envious
+underlings. No, I said, he MUST accept the appointment--it was no longer
+an invitation, it was a command.
+
+He thanked me with effusion, and said that putting the thing in this
+form removed every objection. He retired, and soon returned with his
+umbrella, his eye flaming with gratitude and his cheeks pallid with joy.
+Just then the head guide passed along. Harris's expression changed to
+one of infinite tenderness, and he said:
+
+"That man did me a cruel injury four days ago, and I said in my heart
+he should live to perceive and confess that the only noble revenge a
+man can take upon his enemy is to return good for evil. I resign in his
+favor. Appoint him."
+
+I threw my arms around the generous fellow and said:
+
+"Harris, you are the noblest soul that lives. You shall not regret this
+sublime act, neither shall the world fail to know of it. You shall have
+opportunity far transcending this one, too, if I live--remember that."
+
+I called the head guide to me and appointed him on the spot. But the
+thing aroused no enthusiasm in him. He did not take to the idea at all.
+
+He said:
+
+"Tie myself to an umbrella and jump over the Gorner Grat! Excuse me,
+there are a great many pleasanter roads to the devil than that."
+
+
+
+Upon a discussion of the subject with him, it appeared that he
+considered the project distinctly and decidedly dangerous. I was not
+convinced, yet I was not willing to try the experiment in any risky
+way--that is, in a way that might cripple the strength and efficiency
+of the Expedition. I was about at my wits' end when it occurred to me to
+try it on the Latinist.
+
+He was called in. But he declined, on the plea of inexperience,
+diffidence in public, lack of curiosity, and I didn't know what all.
+Another man declined on account of a cold in the head; thought he
+ought to avoid exposure. Another could not jump well--never COULD jump
+well--did not believe he could jump so far without long and patient
+practice. Another was afraid it was going to rain, and his umbrella had
+a hole in it. Everybody had an excuse. The result was what the reader
+has by this time guessed: the most magnificent idea that was ever
+conceived had to be abandoned, from sheer lack of a person with
+enterprise enough to carry it out. Yes, I actually had to give that
+thing up--while doubtless I should live to see somebody use it and take
+all the credit from me.
+
+Well, I had to go overland--there was no other way. I marched the
+Expedition down the steep and tedious mule-path and took up as good a
+position as I could upon the middle of the glacier--because Baedeker
+said the middle part travels the fastest. As a measure of economy,
+however, I put some of the heavier baggage on the shoreward parts, to go
+as slow freight.
+
+I waited and waited, but the glacier did not move. Night was coming on,
+the darkness began to gather--still we did not budge. It occurred to me
+then, that there might be a time-table in Baedeker; it would be well to
+find out the hours of starting. I called for the book--it could not be
+found. Bradshaw would certainly contain a time-table; but no Bradshaw
+could be found.
+
+Very well, I must make the best of the situation. So I pitched the
+tents, picketed the animals, milked the cows, had supper, paregoricked
+the men, established the watch, and went to bed--with orders to call me
+as soon as we came in sight of Zermatt.
+
+I awoke about half past ten next morning, and looked around. We hadn't
+budged a peg! At first I could not understand it; then it occurred to me
+that the old thing must be aground. So I cut down some trees and rigged
+a spar on the starboard and another on the port side, and fooled away
+upward of three hours trying to spar her off. But it was no use. She
+was half a mile wide and fifteen or twenty miles long, and there was
+no telling just whereabouts she WAS aground. The men began to show
+uneasiness, too, and presently they came flying to me with ashy faces,
+saying she had sprung a leak.
+
+
+
+Nothing but my cool behavior at this critical time saved us from another
+panic. I ordered them to show me the place. They led me to a spot where
+a huge boulder lay in a deep pool of clear and brilliant water. It did
+look like a pretty bad leak, but I kept that to myself. I made a pump
+and set the men to work to pump out the glacier. We made a success of
+it. I perceived, then, that it was not a leak at all. This boulder had
+descended from a precipice and stopped on the ice in the middle of the
+glacier, and the sun had warmed it up, every day, and consequently it
+had melted its way deeper and deeper into the ice, until at last it
+reposed, as we had found it, in a deep pool of the clearest and coldest
+water.
+
+Presently Baedeker was found again, and I hunted eagerly for the
+time-table. There was none. The book simply said the glacier was moving
+all the time. This was satisfactory, so I shut up the book and chose a
+good position to view the scenery as we passed along. I stood there some
+time enjoying the trip, but at last it occurred to me that we did
+not seem to be gaining any on the scenery. I said to myself, "This
+confounded old thing's aground again, sure,"--and opened Baedeker to
+see if I could run across any remedy for these annoying interruptions.
+I soon found a sentence which threw a dazzling light upon the matter.
+It said, "The Gorner Glacier travels at an average rate of a little less
+than an inch a day." I have seldom felt so outraged. I have seldom had
+my confidence so wantonly betrayed. I made a small calculation: One inch
+a day, say thirty feet a year; estimated distance to Zermatt, three and
+one-eighteenth miles. Time required to go by glacier, A LITTLE OVER FIVE
+HUNDRED YEARS! I said to myself, "I can WALK it quicker--and before I
+will patronize such a fraud as this, I will do it."
+
+When I revealed to Harris the fact that the passenger part of this
+glacier--the central part--the lightning-express part, so to speak--was
+not due in Zermatt till the summer of 2378, and that the baggage, coming
+along the slow edge, would not arrive until some generations later, he
+burst out with:
+
+"That is European management, all over! An inch a day--think of that!
+Five hundred years to go a trifle over three miles! But I am not a bit
+surprised. It's a Catholic glacier. You can tell by the look of it. And
+the management."
+
+I said, no, I believed nothing but the extreme end of it was in a
+Catholic canton.
+
+"Well, then, it's a government glacier," said Harris. "It's all the
+same. Over here the government runs everything--so everything's slow;
+slow, and ill-managed. But with us, everything's done by private
+enterprise--and then there ain't much lolling around, you can depend
+on it. I wish Tom Scott could get his hands on this torpid old slab
+once--you'd see it take a different gait from this."
+
+I said I was sure he would increase the speed, if there was trade enough
+to justify it.
+
+"He'd MAKE trade," said Harris. "That's the difference between
+governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do. Tom
+Scott would take all the trade; in two years Gorner stock would go to
+two hundred, and inside of two more you would see all the other glaciers
+under the hammer for taxes." After a reflective pause, Harris added, "A
+little less than an inch a day; a little less than an INCH, mind you.
+Well, I'm losing my reverence for glaciers."
+
+I was feeling much the same way myself. I have traveled by canal-boat,
+ox-wagon, raft, and by the Ephesus and Smyrna railway; but when it comes
+down to good solid honest slow motion, I bet my money on the glacier. As
+a means of passenger transportation, I consider the glacier a failure;
+but as a vehicle of slow freight, I think she fills the bill. In the
+matter of putting the fine shades on that line of business, I judge she
+could teach the Germans something.
+
+I ordered the men to break camp and prepare for the land journey to
+Zermatt. At this moment a most interesting find was made; a dark object,
+bedded in the glacial ice, was cut out with the ice-axes, and it proved
+to be a piece of the undressed skin of some animal--a hair trunk,
+perhaps; but a close inspection disabled the hair-trunk theory, and
+further discussion and examination exploded it entirely--that is, in the
+opinion of all the scientists except the one who had advanced it. This
+one clung to his theory with affectionate fidelity characteristic of
+originators of scientific theories, and afterward won many of the first
+scientists of the age to his view, by a very able pamphlet which he
+wrote, entitled, "Evidences going to show that the hair trunk, in a wild
+state, belonged to the early glacial period, and roamed the wastes of
+chaos in the company with the cave-bear, primeval man, and the other
+Ooelitics of the Old Silurian family."
+
+
+
+Each of our scientists had a theory of his own, and put forward
+an animal of his own as a candidate for the skin. I sided with the
+geologist of the Expedition in the belief that this patch of skin had
+once helped to cover a Siberian elephant, in some old forgotten age--but
+we divided there, the geologist believing that this discovery proved
+that Siberia had formerly been located where Switzerland is now, whereas
+I held the opinion that it merely proved that the primeval Swiss was not
+the dull savage he is represented to have been, but was a being of high
+intellectual development, who liked to go to the menagerie.
+
+We arrived that evening, after many hardships and adventures, in some
+fields close to the great ice-arch where the mad Visp boils and surges
+out from under the foot of the great Gorner Glacier, and here we camped,
+our perils over and our magnificent undertaking successfully completed.
+We marched into Zermatt the next day, and were received with the
+most lavish honors and applause. A document, signed and sealed by the
+authorities, was given to me which established and endorsed the fact
+that I had made the ascent of the Riffelberg. This I wear around my
+neck, and it will be buried with me when I am no more.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+[Piteous Relics at Chamonix]
+
+
+I am not so ignorant about glacial movement, now, as I was when I took
+passage on the Gorner Glacier. I have "read up" since. I am aware that
+these vast bodies of ice do not travel at the same rate of speed; while
+the Gorner Glacier makes less than an inch a day, the Unter-Aar Glacier
+makes as much as eight; and still other glaciers are said to go twelve,
+sixteen, and even twenty inches a day. One writer says that the slowest
+glacier travels twenty-five feet a year, and the fastest four hundred.
+
+What is a glacier? It is easy to say it looks like a frozen river which
+occupies the bed of a winding gorge or gully between mountains. But that
+gives no notion of its vastness. For it is sometimes six hundred feet
+thick, and we are not accustomed to rivers six hundred feet deep; no,
+our rivers are six feet, twenty feet, and sometimes fifty feet deep; we
+are not quite able to grasp so large a fact as an ice-river six hundred
+feet deep.
+
+The glacier's surface is not smooth and level, but has deep swales and
+swelling elevations, and sometimes has the look of a tossing sea whose
+turbulent billows were frozen hard in the instant of their most violent
+motion; the glacier's surface is not a flawless mass, but is a river
+with cracks or crevices, some narrow, some gaping wide. Many a man, the
+victim of a slip or a misstep, has plunged down one of these and met his
+death. Men have been fished out of them alive; but it was when they
+did not go to a great depth; the cold of the great depths would quickly
+stupefy a man, whether he was hurt or unhurt. These cracks do not go
+straight down; one can seldom see more than twenty to forty feet down
+them; consequently men who have disappeared in them have been sought
+for, in the hope that they had stopped within helping distance, whereas
+their case, in most instances, had really been hopeless from the
+beginning.
+
+In 1864 a party of tourists was descending Mont Blanc, and while picking
+their way over one of the mighty glaciers of that lofty region, roped
+together, as was proper, a young porter disengaged himself from the line
+and started across an ice-bridge which spanned a crevice. It broke under
+him with a crash, and he disappeared. The others could not see how deep
+he had gone, so it might be worthwhile to try and rescue him. A brave
+young guide named Michel Payot volunteered.
+
+Two ropes were made fast to his leather belt and he bore the end of a
+third one in his hand to tie to the victim in case he found him. He was
+lowered into the crevice, he descended deeper and deeper between the
+clear blue walls of solid ice, he approached a bend in the crack and
+disappeared under it. Down, and still down, he went, into this profound
+grave; when he had reached a depth of eighty feet he passed under
+another bend in the crack, and thence descended eighty feet lower, as
+between perpendicular precipices. Arrived at this stage of one hundred
+and sixty feet below the surface of the glacier, he peered through the
+twilight dimness and perceived that the chasm took another turn and
+stretched away at a steep slant to unknown deeps, for its course was
+lost in darkness. What a place that was to be in--especially if that
+leather belt should break! The compression of the belt threatened to
+suffocate the intrepid fellow; he called to his friends to draw him up,
+but could not make them hear. They still lowered him, deeper and deeper.
+Then he jerked his third cord as vigorously as he could; his friends
+understood, and dragged him out of those icy jaws of death.
+
+Then they attached a bottle to a cord and sent it down two hundred feet,
+but it found no bottom. It came up covered with congelations--evidence
+enough that even if the poor porter reached the bottom with unbroken
+bones, a swift death from cold was sure, anyway.
+
+A glacier is a stupendous, ever-progressing, resistless plow. It pushes
+ahead of it masses of boulders which are packed together, and they
+stretch across the gorge, right in front of it, like a long grave or a
+long, sharp roof. This is called a moraine. It also shoves out a moraine
+along each side of its course.
+
+
+
+Imposing as the modern glaciers are, they are not so huge as were some
+that once existed. For instance, Mr. Whymper says:
+
+"At some very remote period the Valley of Aosta was occupied by a vast
+glacier, which flowed down its entire length from Mont Blanc to the
+plain of Piedmont, remained stationary, or nearly so, at its mouth
+for many centuries, and deposited there enormous masses of debris. The
+length of this glacier exceeded EIGHTY MILES, and it drained a basin
+twenty-five to thirty-five miles across, bounded by the highest
+mountains in the Alps.
+
+
+
+"The great peaks rose several thousand feet above the glaciers, and
+then, as now, shattered by sun and frost, poured down their showers of
+rocks and stones, in witness of which there are the immense piles of
+angular fragments that constitute the moraines of Ivrea.
+
+"The moraines around Ivrea are of extraordinary dimensions. That which
+was on the left bank of the glacier is about THIRTEEN MILES long, and
+in some places rises to a height of TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY
+FEET above the floor of the valley! The terminal moraines (those which
+are pushed in front of the glaciers) cover something like twenty square
+miles of country. At the mouth of the Valley of Aosta, the thickness of
+the glacier must have been at least TWO THOUSAND feet, and its width, at
+that part, FIVE MILES AND A QUARTER."
+
+
+
+It is not easy to get at a comprehension of a mass of ice like that. If
+one could cleave off the butt end of such a glacier--an oblong block
+two or three miles wide by five and a quarter long and two thousand
+feet thick--he could completely hide the city of New York under it,
+and Trinity steeple would only stick up into it relatively as far as a
+shingle-nail would stick up into the bottom of a Saratoga trunk.
+
+"The boulders from Mont Blanc, upon the plain below Ivrea, assure us
+that the glacier which transported them existed for a prodigious length
+of time. Their present distance from the cliffs from which they were
+derived is about 420,000 feet, and if we assume that they traveled at
+the rate of 400 feet per annum, their journey must have occupied them no
+less than 1,055 years! In all probability they did not travel so fast."
+
+
+
+Glaciers are sometimes hurried out of their characteristic snail-pace.
+A marvelous spectacle is presented then. Mr. Whymper refers to a case
+which occurred in Iceland in 1721:
+
+"It seems that in the neighborhood of the mountain Kotlugja, large
+bodies of water formed underneath, or within the glaciers (either on
+account of the interior heat of the earth, or from other causes), and at
+length acquired irresistible power, tore the glaciers from their mooring
+on the land, and swept them over every obstacle into the sea. Prodigious
+masses of ice were thus borne for a distance of about ten miles over
+land in the space of a few hours; and their bulk was so enormous that
+they covered the sea for seven miles from the shore, and remained
+aground in six hundred feet of water! The denudation of the land was
+upon a grand scale. All superficial accumulations were swept away, and
+the bedrock was exposed. It was described, in graphic language, how all
+irregularities and depressions were obliterated, and a smooth surface of
+several miles' area laid bare, and that this area had the appearance of
+having been PLANED BY A PLANE."
+
+The account translated from the Icelandic says that the mountainlike
+ruins of this majestic glacier so covered the sea that as far as the eye
+could reach no open water was discoverable, even from the highest peaks.
+A monster wall or barrier of ice was built across a considerable stretch
+of land, too, by this strange irruption:
+
+"One can form some idea of the altitude of this barrier of ice when it
+is mentioned that from Hofdabrekka farm, which lies high up on a fjeld,
+one could not see Hjorleifshofdi opposite, which is a fell six hundred
+and forty feet in height; but in order to do so had to clamber up a
+mountain slope east of Hofdabrekka twelve hundred feet high."
+
+These things will help the reader to understand why it is that a man who
+keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by
+and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of
+conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will
+only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough
+to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
+
+The Alpine glaciers move--that is granted, now, by everybody. But there
+was a time when people scoffed at the idea; they said you might as well
+expect leagues of solid rock to crawl along the ground as expect leagues
+of ice to do it. But proof after proof was furnished, and the finally
+the world had to believe.
+
+The wise men not only said the glacier moved, but they timed its
+movement. They ciphered out a glacier's gait, and then said confidently
+that it would travel just so far in so many years. There is record of
+a striking and curious example of the accuracy which may be attained in
+these reckonings.
+
+In 1820 the ascent of Mont Blanc was attempted by a Russian and two
+Englishmen, with seven guides. They had reached a prodigious altitude,
+and were approaching the summit, when an avalanche swept several of the
+party down a sharp slope of two hundred feet and hurled five of them
+(all guides) into one of the crevices of a glacier. The life of one
+of the five was saved by a long barometer which was strapped to his
+back--it bridged the crevice and suspended him until help came. The
+alpenstock or baton of another saved its owner in a similar way. Three
+men were lost--Pierre Balmat, Pierre Carrier, and Auguste Tairraz. They
+had been hurled down into the fathomless great deeps of the crevice.
+
+Dr. Forbes, the English geologist, had made frequent visits to the Mont
+Blanc region, and had given much attention to the disputed question of
+the movement of glaciers. During one of these visits he completed his
+estimates of the rate of movement of the glacier which had swallowed
+up the three guides, and uttered the prediction that the glacier would
+deliver up its dead at the foot of the mountain thirty-five years from
+the time of the accident, or possibly forty.
+
+A dull, slow journey--a movement imperceptible to any eye--but it was
+proceeding, nevertheless, and without cessation. It was a journey
+which a rolling stone would make in a few seconds--the lofty point of
+departure was visible from the village below in the valley.
+
+The prediction cut curiously close to the truth; forty-one years after
+the catastrophe, the remains were cast forth at the foot of the glacier.
+
+I find an interesting account of the matter in the HISTOIRE DU MONT
+BLANC, by Stephen d'Arve. I will condense this account, as follows:
+
+On the 12th of August, 1861, at the hour of the close of mass, a guide
+arrived out of breath at the mairie of Chamonix, and bearing on his
+shoulders a very lugubrious burden. It was a sack filled with human
+remains which he had gathered from the orifice of a crevice in the
+Glacier des Bossons. He conjectured that these were remains of the
+victims of the catastrophe of 1820, and a minute inquest, immediately
+instituted by the local authorities, soon demonstrated the correctness
+of his supposition. The contents of the sack were spread upon a long
+table, and officially inventoried, as follows:
+
+Portions of three human skulls. Several tufts of black and blonde hair.
+A human jaw, furnished with fine white teeth. A forearm and hand, all
+the fingers of the latter intact. The flesh was white and fresh,
+and both the arm and hand preserved a degree of flexibility in the
+articulations.
+
+The ring-finger had suffered a slight abrasion, and the stain of the
+blood was still visible and unchanged after forty-one years. A left
+foot, the flesh white and fresh.
+
+Along with these fragments were portions of waistcoats, hats, hobnailed
+shoes, and other clothing; a wing of a pigeon, with black feathers; a
+fragment of an alpenstock; a tin lantern; and lastly, a boiled leg of
+mutton, the only flesh among all the remains that exhaled an unpleasant
+odor. The guide said that the mutton had no odor when he took it from
+the glacier; an hour's exposure to the sun had already begun the work of
+decomposition upon it.
+
+Persons were called for, to identify these poor pathetic relics, and a
+touching scene ensued. Two men were still living who had witnessed the
+grim catastrophe of nearly half a century before--Marie Couttet (saved
+by his baton) and Julien Davouassoux (saved by the barometer). These
+aged men entered and approached the table. Davouassoux, more than eighty
+years old, contemplated the mournful remains mutely and with a vacant
+eye, for his intelligence and his memory were torpid with age; but
+Couttet's faculties were still perfect at seventy-two, and he exhibited
+strong emotion. He said:
+
+"Pierre Balmat was fair; he wore a straw hat. This bit of skull, with
+the tuft of blond hair, was his; this is his hat. Pierre Carrier was
+very dark; this skull was his, and this felt hat. This is Balmat's
+hand, I remember it so well!" and the old man bent down and kissed it
+reverently, then closed his fingers upon it in an affectionate grasp,
+crying out, "I could never have dared to believe that before quitting
+this world it would be granted me to press once more the hand of one of
+those brave comrades, the hand of my good friend Balmat."
+
+
+
+There is something weirdly pathetic about the picture of that
+white-haired veteran greeting with his loving handshake this friend
+who had been dead forty years. When these hands had met last, they were
+alike in the softness and freshness of youth; now, one was brown and
+wrinkled and horny with age, while the other was still as young and fair
+and blemishless as if those forty years had come and gone in a single
+moment, leaving no mark of their passage. Time had gone on, in the one
+case; it had stood still in the other. A man who has not seen a friend
+for a generation, keeps him in mind always as he saw him last, and is
+somehow surprised, and is also shocked, to see the aging change the
+years have wrought when he sees him again. Marie Couttet's experience,
+in finding his friend's hand unaltered from the image of it which he
+had carried in his memory for forty years, is an experience which stands
+alone in the history of man, perhaps.
+
+Couttet identified other relics:
+
+"This hat belonged to Auguste Tairraz. He carried the cage of pigeons
+which we proposed to set free upon the summit. Here is the wing of one
+of those pigeons. And here is the fragment of my broken baton; it was by
+grace of that baton that my life was saved. Who could have told me that
+I should one day have the satisfaction to look again upon this bit of
+wood that supported me above the grave that swallowed up my unfortunate
+companions!"
+
+No portions of the body of Tairraz, other than a piece of the skull,
+had been found. A diligent search was made, but without result. However,
+another search was instituted a year later, and this had better success.
+Many fragments of clothing which had belonged to the lost guides were
+discovered; also, part of a lantern, and a green veil with blood-stains
+on it. But the interesting feature was this:
+
+One of the searchers came suddenly upon a sleeved arm projecting from
+a crevice in the ice-wall, with the hand outstretched as if offering
+greeting! "The nails of this white hand were still rosy, and the pose
+of the extended fingers seemed to express an eloquent welcome to the
+long-lost light of day."
+
+The hand and arm were alone; there was no trunk. After being removed
+from the ice the flesh-tints quickly faded out and the rosy nails took
+on the alabaster hue of death. This was the third RIGHT hand found;
+therefore, all three of the lost men were accounted for, beyond cavil or
+question.
+
+Dr. Hamel was the Russian gentleman of the party which made the ascent
+at the time of the famous disaster. He left Chamonix as soon as he
+conveniently could after the descent; and as he had shown a chilly
+indifference about the calamity, and offered neither sympathy nor
+assistance to the widows and orphans, he carried with him the cordial
+execrations of the whole community. Four months before the first remains
+were found, a Chamonix guide named Balmat--a relative of one of the lost
+men--was in London, and one day encountered a hale old gentleman in the
+British Museum, who said:
+
+"I overheard your name. Are you from Chamonix, Monsieur Balmat?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Haven't they found the bodies of my three guides, yet? I am Dr. Hamel."
+
+"Alas, no, monsieur."
+
+"Well, you'll find them, sooner or later."
+
+"Yes, it is the opinion of Dr. Forbes and Mr. Tyndall, that the glacier
+will sooner or later restore to us the remains of the unfortunate
+victims."
+
+"Without a doubt, without a doubt. And it will be a great thing for
+Chamonix, in the matter of attracting tourists. You can get up a museum
+with those remains that will draw!"
+
+This savage idea has not improved the odor of Dr. Hamel's name in
+Chamonix by any means. But after all, the man was sound on human nature.
+His idea was conveyed to the public officials of Chamonix, and they
+gravely discussed it around the official council-table. They were only
+prevented from carrying it into execution by the determined opposition
+of the friends and descendants of the lost guides, who insisted on
+giving the remains Christian burial, and succeeded in their purpose.
+
+A close watch had to be kept upon all the poor remnants and fragments,
+to prevent embezzlement. A few accessory odds and ends were sold. Rags
+and scraps of the coarse clothing were parted with at the rate equal to
+about twenty dollars a yard; a piece of a lantern and one or two other
+trifles brought nearly their weight in gold; and an Englishman offered a
+pound sterling for a single breeches-button.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+[The Fearful Disaster of 1865]
+
+
+One of the most memorable of all the Alpine catastrophes was that of
+July, 1865, on the Matterhorn--already slightly referred to, a few
+pages back. The details of it are scarcely known in America. To the vast
+majority of readers they are not known at all. Mr. Whymper's account is
+the only authentic one. I will import the chief portion of it into this
+book, partly because of its intrinsic interest, and partly because it
+gives such a vivid idea of what the perilous pastime of Alp-climbing
+is. This was Mr. Whymper's NINTH attempt during a series of years, to
+vanquish that steep and stubborn pillar or rock; it succeeded, the other
+eight were failures. No man had ever accomplished the ascent before,
+though the attempts had been numerous.
+
+MR. WHYMPER'S NARRATIVE We started from Zermatt on the 13th of July, at
+half past five, on a brilliant and perfectly cloudless morning. We were
+eight in number--Croz (guide), old Peter Taugwalder (guide) and his
+two sons; Lord F. Douglas, Mr. Hadow, Rev. Mr. Hudson, and I. To insure
+steady motion, one tourist and one native walked together. The youngest
+Taugwalder fell to my share. The wine-bags also fell to my lot to carry,
+and throughout the day, after each drink, I replenished them secretly
+with water, so that at the next halt they were found fuller than before!
+This was considered a good omen, and little short of miraculous.
+
+On the first day we did not intend to ascend to any great height, and we
+mounted, accordingly, very leisurely. Before twelve o'clock we had found
+a good position for the tent, at a height of eleven thousand feet. We
+passed the remaining hours of daylight--some basking in the sunshine,
+some sketching, some collecting; Hudson made tea, I coffee, and at
+length we retired, each one to his blanket bag.
+
+We assembled together before dawn on the 14th and started directly
+it was light enough to move. One of the young Taugwalders returned to
+Zermatt. In a few minutes we turned the rib which had intercepted the
+view of the eastern face from our tent platform. The whole of this
+great slope was now revealed, rising for three thousand feet like a huge
+natural staircase. Some parts were more, and others were less easy, but
+we were not once brought to a halt by any serious impediment, for when
+an obstruction was met in front it could always be turned to the right
+or to the left. For the greater part of the way there was no occasion,
+indeed, for the rope, and sometimes Hudson led, sometimes myself. At
+six-twenty we had attained a height of twelve thousand eight hundred
+feet, and halted for half an hour; we then continued the ascent without
+a break until nine-fifty-five, when we stopped for fifty minutes, at a
+height of fourteen thousand feet.
+
+
+
+We had now arrived at the foot of that part which, seen from the
+Riffelberg, seems perpendicular or overhanging. We could no longer
+continue on the eastern side. For a little distance we ascended by snow
+upon the ARETE--that is, the ridge--then turned over to the right, or
+northern side. The work became difficult, and required caution. In some
+places there was little to hold; the general slope of the mountain was
+LESS than forty degrees, and snow had accumulated in, and had filled
+up, the interstices of the rock-face, leaving only occasional fragments
+projecting here and there. These were at times covered with a thin film
+of ice. It was a place which any fair mountaineer might pass in safety.
+We bore away nearly horizontally for about four hundred feet, then
+ascended directly toward the summit for about sixty feet, then doubled
+back to the ridge which descends toward Zermatt. A long stride round
+a rather awkward corner brought us to snow once more. That last doubt
+vanished! The Matterhorn was ours! Nothing but two hundred feet of easy
+snow remained to be surmounted.
+
+The higher we rose, the more intense became the excitement. The slope
+eased off, at length we could be detached, and Croz and I, dashed away,
+ran a neck-and-neck race, which ended in a dead heat. At 1:40 P.M., the
+world was at our feet, and the Matterhorn was conquered!
+
+
+
+The others arrived. Croz now took the tent-pole, and planted it in the
+highest snow. "Yes," we said, "there is the flag-staff, but where is the
+flag?" "Here it is," he answered, pulling off his blouse and fixing it
+to the stick. It made a poor flag, and there was no wind to float
+it out, yet it was seen all around. They saw it at Zermatt--at the
+Riffel--in the Val Tournanche... .
+
+We remained on the summit for one hour--
+
+One crowded hour of glorious life.
+
+It passed away too quickly, and we began to prepare for the descent.
+
+Hudson and I consulted as to the best and safest arrangement of the
+party. We agreed that it was best for Croz to go first, and Hadow
+second; Hudson, who was almost equal to a guide in sureness of foot,
+wished to be third; Lord Douglas was placed next, and old Peter, the
+strongest of the remainder, after him. I suggested to Hudson that we
+should attach a rope to the rocks on our arrival at the difficult bit,
+and hold it as we descended, as an additional protection. He approved
+the idea, but it was not definitely decided that it should be done. The
+party was being arranged in the above order while I was sketching the
+summit, and they had finished, and were waiting for me to be tied in
+line, when some one remembered that our names had not been left in a
+bottle. They requested me to write them down, and moved off while it was
+being done.
+
+A few minutes afterward I tied myself to young Peter, ran down after the
+others, and caught them just as they were commencing the descent of the
+difficult part. Great care was being taken. Only one man was moving at a
+time; when he was firmly planted the next advanced, and so on. They had
+not, however, attached the additional rope to rocks, and nothing was
+said about it. The suggestion was not made for my own sake, and I am not
+sure that it ever occurred to me again. For some little distance we two
+followed the others, detached from them, and should have continued so
+had not Lord Douglas asked me, about 3 P.M., to tie on to old Peter, as
+he feared, he said, that Taugwalder would not be able to hold his ground
+if a slip occurred.
+
+A few minutes later, a sharp-eyed lad ran into the Monte Rosa Hotel, at
+Zermatt, saying that he had seen an avalanche fall from the summit of
+the Matterhorn onto the Matterhorn glacier. The boy was reproved for
+telling idle stories; he was right, nevertheless, and this was what he
+saw.
+
+Michel Croz had laid aside his ax, and in order to give Mr. Hadow
+greater security, was absolutely taking hold of his legs, and putting
+his feet, one by one, into their proper positions. As far as I know, no
+one was actually descending. I cannot speak with certainty, because the
+two leading men were partially hidden from my sight by an intervening
+mass of rock, but it is my belief, from the movements of their
+shoulders, that Croz, having done as I said, was in the act of turning
+round to go down a step or two himself; at this moment Mr. Hadow
+slipped, fell against him, and knocked him over. I heard one startled
+exclamation from Croz, then saw him and Mr. Hadow flying downward;
+in another moment Hudson was dragged from his steps, and Lord Douglas
+immediately after him. All this was the work of a moment. Immediately we
+heard Croz's exclamation, old Peter and I planted ourselves as firmly as
+the rocks would permit; the rope was taut between us, and the jerk came
+on us both as on one man. We held; but the rope broke midway between
+Taugwalder and Lord Francis Douglas. For a few seconds we saw our
+unfortunate companions sliding downward on their backs, and spreading
+out their hands, endeavoring to save themselves. They passed from our
+sight uninjured, disappeared one by one, and fell from the precipice to
+precipice onto the Matterhorn glacier below, a distance of nearly
+four thousand feet in height. From the moment the rope broke it was
+impossible to help them. So perished our comrades!
+
+
+
+For more than two hours afterward I thought almost every moment that the
+next would be my last; for the Taugwalders, utterly unnerved, were not
+only incapable of giving assistance, but were in such a state that a
+slip might have been expected from them at any moment. After a time we
+were able to do that which should have been done at first, and fixed
+rope to firm rocks, in addition to being tied together. These ropes were
+cut from time to time, and were left behind. Even with their assurance
+the men were afraid to proceed, and several times old Peter turned,
+with ashy face and faltering limbs, and said, with terrible emphasis, "I
+CANNOT!"
+
+About 6 P.M., we arrived at the snow upon the ridge descending toward
+Zermatt, and all peril was over. We frequently looked, but in vain, for
+traces of our unfortunate companions; we bent over the ridge and cried
+to them, but no sound returned. Convinced at last that they were neither
+within sight nor hearing, we ceased from our useless efforts; and, too
+cast down for speech, silently gathered up our things, and the little
+effects of those who were lost, and then completed the descent. Such
+is Mr. Whymper's graphic and thrilling narrative. Zermatt gossip
+darkly hints that the elder Taugwalder cut the rope, when the accident
+occurred, in order to preserve himself from being dragged into the
+abyss; but Mr. Whymper says that the ends of the rope showed no evidence
+of cutting, but only of breaking. He adds that if Taugwalder had had the
+disposition to cut the rope, he would not have had time to do it, the
+accident was so sudden and unexpected.
+
+Lord Douglas' body has never been found. It probably lodged upon some
+inaccessible shelf in the face of the mighty precipice. Lord Douglas was
+a youth of nineteen. The three other victims fell nearly four thousand
+feet, and their bodies lay together upon the glacier when found by
+Mr. Whymper and the other searchers the next morning. Their graves are
+beside the little church in Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+[Chillon has a Nice, Roomy Dungeon]
+
+
+Switzerland is simply a large, humpy, solid rock, with a thin skin of
+grass stretched over it. Consequently, they do not dig graves, they
+blast them out with powder and fuse. They cannot afford to have large
+graveyards, the grass skin is too circumscribed and too valuable. It is
+all required for the support of the living.
+
+The graveyard in Zermatt occupies only about one-eighth of an acre.
+The graves are sunk in the living rock, and are very permanent; but
+occupation of them is only temporary; the occupant can only stay till
+his grave is needed by a later subject, he is removed, then, for they do
+not bury one body on top of another. As I understand it, a family owns
+a grave, just as it owns a house. A man dies and leaves his house to his
+son--and at the same time, this dead father succeeds to his own father's
+grave. He moves out of the house and into the grave, and his predecessor
+moves out of the grave and into the cellar of the chapel. I saw a black
+box lying in the churchyard, with skull and cross-bones painted on it,
+and was told that this was used in transferring remains to the cellar.
+
+In that cellar the bones and skulls of several hundred of former
+citizens were compactly corded up. They made a pile eighteen feet long,
+seven feet high, and eight feet wide. I was told that in some of the
+receptacles of this kind in the Swiss villages, the skulls were all
+marked, and if a man wished to find the skulls of his ancestors for
+several generations back, he could do it by these marks, preserved in
+the family records.
+
+
+
+An English gentleman who had lived some years in this region, said it
+was the cradle of compulsory education. But he said that the English
+idea that compulsory education would reduce bastardy and intemperance
+was an error--it has not that effect. He said there was more seduction
+in the Protestant than in the Catholic cantons, because the confessional
+protected the girls. I wonder why it doesn't protect married women in
+France and Spain?
+
+This gentleman said that among the poorer peasants in the Valais, it was
+common for the brothers in a family to cast lots to determine which
+of them should have the coveted privilege of marrying, and his
+brethren--doomed bachelors--heroically banded themselves together to
+help support the new family.
+
+We left Zermatt in a wagon--and in a rain-storm, too--for St. Nicholas
+about ten o'clock one morning. Again we passed between those grass-clad
+prodigious cliffs, specked with wee dwellings peeping over at us from
+velvety green walls ten and twelve hundred feet high. It did not seem
+possible that the imaginary chamois even could climb those precipices.
+Lovers on opposite cliffs probably kiss through a spy-glass, and
+correspond with a rifle.
+
+In Switzerland the farmer's plow is a wide shovel, which scrapes up and
+turns over the thin earthy skin of his native rock--and there the man of
+the plow is a hero. Now here, by our St. Nicholas road, was a grave, and
+it had a tragic story. A plowman was skinning his farm one morning--not
+the steepest part of it, but still a steep part--that is, he was not
+skinning the front of his farm, but the roof of it, near the eaves--when
+he absent-mindedly let go of the plow-handles to moisten his hands, in
+the usual way; he lost his balance and fell out of his farm backward;
+poor fellow, he never touched anything till he struck bottom, fifteen
+hundred feet below. [This was on a Sunday.--M.T.] We throw a halo of
+heroism around the life of the soldier and the sailor, because of the
+deadly dangers they are facing all the time. But we are not used to
+looking upon farming as a heroic occupation. This is because we have not
+lived in Switzerland.
+
+
+
+From St. Nicholas we struck out for Visp--or Vispach--on foot. The
+rain-storms had been at work during several days, and had done a deal of
+damage in Switzerland and Savoy. We came to one place where a stream had
+changed its course and plunged down a mountain in a new place, sweeping
+everything before it. Two poor but precious farms by the roadside were
+ruined. One was washed clear away, and the bed-rock exposed; the other
+was buried out of sight under a tumbled chaos of rocks, gravel, mud,
+and rubbish. The resistless might of water was well exemplified. Some
+saplings which had stood in the way were bent to the ground, stripped
+clean of their bark, and buried under rocky debris. The road had been
+swept away, too.
+
+In another place, where the road was high up on the mountain's face, and
+its outside edge protected by flimsy masonry, we frequently came across
+spots where this masonry had carved off and left dangerous gaps for
+mules to get over; and with still more frequency we found the masonry
+slightly crumbled, and marked by mule-hoofs, thus showing that there had
+been danger of an accident to somebody. When at last we came to a
+badly ruptured bit of masonry, with hoof-prints evidencing a desperate
+struggle to regain the lost foothold, I looked quite hopefully over the
+dizzy precipice. But there was nobody down there.
+
+They take exceedingly good care of their rivers in Switzerland and other
+portions of Europe. They wall up both banks with slanting solid stone
+masonry--so that from end to end of these rivers the banks look like the
+wharves at St. Louis and other towns on the Mississippi River.
+
+It was during this walk from St. Nicholas, in the shadow of the majestic
+Alps, that we came across some little children amusing themselves in
+what seemed, at first, a most odd and original way--but it wasn't; it
+was in simply a natural and characteristic way. They were roped together
+with a string, they had mimic alpenstocks and ice-axes, and were
+climbing a meek and lowly manure-pile with a most blood-curdling amount
+of care and caution. The "guide" at the head of the line cut imaginary
+steps, in a laborious and painstaking way, and not a monkey budged till
+the step above was vacated. If we had waited we should have witnessed an
+imaginary accident, no doubt; and we should have heard the intrepid band
+hurrah when they made the summit and looked around upon the "magnificent
+view," and seen them throw themselves down in exhausted attitudes for a
+rest in that commanding situation.
+
+
+
+In Nevada I used to see the children play at silver-mining. Of course,
+the great thing was an accident in a mine, and there were two "star"
+parts; that of the man who fell down the mimic shaft, and that of the
+daring hero who was lowered into the depths to bring him up. I knew one
+small chap who always insisted on playing BOTH of these parts--and he
+carried his point. He would tumble into the shaft and die, and then come
+to the surface and go back after his own remains.
+
+It is the smartest boy that gets the hero part everywhere; he is head
+guide in Switzerland, head miner in Nevada, head bull-fighter in Spain,
+etc.; but I knew a preacher's son, seven years old, who once selected
+a part for himself compared to which those just mentioned are tame
+and unimpressive. Jimmy's father stopped him from driving imaginary
+horse-cars one Sunday--stopped him from playing captain of an imaginary
+steamboat next Sunday--stopped him from leading an imaginary army to
+battle the following Sunday--and so on. Finally the little fellow said:
+
+"I've tried everything, and they won't any of them do. What CAN I play?"
+
+"I hardly know, Jimmy; but you MUST play only things that are suitable
+to the Sabbath-day."
+
+Next Sunday the preacher stepped softly to a back-room door to see if
+the children were rightly employed. He peeped in. A chair occupied the
+middle of the room, and on the back of it hung Jimmy's cap; one of
+his little sisters took the cap down, nibbled at it, then passed it to
+another small sister and said, "Eat of this fruit, for it is good." The
+Reverend took in the situation--alas, they were playing the Expulsion
+from Eden! Yet he found one little crumb of comfort. He said to himself,
+"For once Jimmy has yielded the chief role--I have been wronging him, I
+did not believe there was so much modesty in him; I should have expected
+him to be either Adam or Eve." This crumb of comfort lasted but a very
+little while; he glanced around and discovered Jimmy standing in an
+imposing attitude in a corner, with a dark and deadly frown on his face.
+What that meant was very plain--HE WAS IMPERSONATING THE DEITY! Think of
+the guileless sublimity of that idea.
+
+
+
+We reached Vispach at 8 P.M., only about seven hours out from St.
+Nicholas. So we must have made fully a mile and a half an hour, and it
+was all downhill, too, and very muddy at that. We stayed all night at
+the Hotel de Soleil; I remember it because the landlady, the portier,
+the waitress, and the chambermaid were not separate persons, but were
+all contained in one neat and chipper suit of spotless muslin, and she
+was the prettiest young creature I saw in all that region. She was the
+landlord's daughter. And I remember that the only native match to her
+I saw in all Europe was the young daughter of the landlord of a village
+inn in the Black Forest. Why don't more people in Europe marry and keep
+hotel?
+
+
+
+Next morning we left with a family of English friends and went by train
+to Brevet, and thence by boat across the lake to Ouchy (Lausanne).
+
+Ouchy is memorable to me, not on account of its beautiful situation and
+lovely surroundings--although these would make it stick long in one's
+memory--but as the place where _I_ caught the London TIMES dropping into
+humor. It was NOT aware of it, though. It did not do it on purpose.
+An English friend called my attention to this lapse, and cut out the
+reprehensible paragraph for me. Think of encountering a grin like this
+on the face of that grim journal:
+
+ERRATUM.--We are requested by Reuter's Telegram Company to correct an
+erroneous announcement made in their Brisbane telegram of the 2d inst.,
+published in our impression of the 5th inst., stating that "Lady Kennedy
+had given birth to twins, the eldest being a son." The Company explain
+that the message they received contained the words "Governor of
+Queensland, TWINS FIRST SON." Being, however, subsequently informed that
+Sir Arthur Kennedy was unmarried and that there must be some mistake, a
+telegraphic repetition was at once demanded. It has been received today
+(11th inst.) and shows that the words really telegraphed by Reuter's
+agent were "Governor Queensland TURNS FIRST SOD," alluding to the
+Maryborough-Gympic Railway in course of construction. The words in
+italics were mutilated by the telegraph in transmission from Australia,
+and reaching the company in the form mentioned above gave rise to the
+mistake.
+
+I had always had a deep and reverent compassion for the sufferings of
+the "prisoner of Chillon," whose story Byron had told in such moving
+verse; so I took the steamer and made pilgrimage to the dungeons of the
+Castle of Chillon, to see the place where poor Bonnivard endured his
+dreary captivity three hundred years ago. I am glad I did that, for it
+took away some of the pain I was feeling on the prisoner's account. His
+dungeon was a nice, cool, roomy place, and I cannot see why he should
+have been dissatisfied with it. If he had been imprisoned in a St.
+Nicholas private dwelling, where the fertilizer prevails, and the goat
+sleeps with the guest, and the chickens roost on him and the cow comes
+in and bothers him when he wants to muse, it would have been another
+matter altogether; but he surely could not have had a very cheerless
+time of it in that pretty dungeon. It has romantic window-slits that
+let in generous bars of light, and it has tall, noble columns, carved
+apparently from the living rock; and what is more, they are written
+all over with thousands of names; some of them--like Byron's and Victor
+Hugo's--of the first celebrity. Why didn't he amuse himself reading
+these names? Then there are the couriers and tourists--swarms of them
+every day--what was to hinder him from having a good time with them? I
+think Bonnivard's sufferings have been overrated.
+
+
+
+Next, we took the train and went to Martigny, on the way to Mont Blanc.
+Next morning we started, about eight o'clock, on foot. We had plenty of
+company, in the way of wagon-loads and mule-loads of tourists--and dust.
+This scattering procession of travelers was perhaps a mile long. The
+road was uphill--interminable uphill--and tolerably steep. The weather
+was blisteringly hot, and the man or woman who had to sit on a creeping
+mule, or in a crawling wagon, and broil in the beating sun, was an
+object to be pitied. We could dodge among the bushes, and have the
+relief of shade, but those people could not. They paid for a conveyance,
+and to get their money's worth they rode.
+
+We went by the way of the Tete Noir, and after we reached high ground
+there was no lack of fine scenery. In one place the road was tunneled
+through a shoulder of the mountain; from there one looked down into a
+gorge with a rushing torrent in it, and on every hand was a charming
+view of rocky buttresses and wooded heights. There was a liberal
+allowance of pretty waterfalls, too, on the Tete Noir route.
+
+
+
+About half an hour before we reached the village of Argentiere a vast
+dome of snow with the sun blazing on it drifted into view and framed
+itself in a strong V-shaped gateway of the mountains, and we recognized
+Mont Blanc, the "monarch of the Alps." With every step, after that,
+this stately dome rose higher and higher into the blue sky, and at last
+seemed to occupy the zenith.
+
+Some of Mont Blanc's neighbors--bare, light-brown, steeplelike
+rocks--were very peculiarly shaped. Some were whittled to a sharp point,
+and slightly bent at the upper end, like a lady's finger; one monster
+sugar-loaf resembled a bishop's hat; it was too steep to hold snow on
+its sides, but had some in the division.
+
+
+
+While we were still on very high ground, and before the descent toward
+Argentiere began, we looked up toward a neighboring mountain-top, and
+saw exquisite prismatic colors playing about some white clouds which
+were so delicate as to almost resemble gossamer webs. The faint pinks
+and greens were peculiarly beautiful; none of the colors were deep, they
+were the lightest shades. They were bewitching commingled. We sat down
+to study and enjoy this singular spectacle. The tints remained during
+several minutes--flitting, changing, melting into each other; paling
+almost away for a moment, then reflushing--a shifting, restless,
+unstable succession of soft opaline gleams, shimmering over that air
+film of white cloud, and turning it into a fabric dainty enough to
+clothe an angel with.
+
+By and by we perceived what those super-delicate colors, and their
+continuous play and movement, reminded us of; it is what one sees in a
+soap-bubble that is drifting along, catching changes of tint from the
+objects it passes. A soap-bubble is the most beautiful thing, and the
+most exquisite, in nature; that lovely phantom fabric in the sky was
+suggestive of a soap-bubble split open, and spread out in the sun. I
+wonder how much it would take to buy a soap-bubble, if there was only
+one in the world? One could buy a hatful of Koh-i-Noors with the same
+money, no doubt.
+
+
+
+We made the tramp from Martigny to Argentiere in eight hours. We beat
+all the mules and wagons; we didn't usually do that. We hired a sort of
+open baggage-wagon for the trip down the valley to Chamonix, and then
+devoted an hour to dining. This gave the driver time to get drunk. He
+had a friend with him, and this friend also had had time to get drunk.
+
+When we drove off, the driver said all the tourists had arrived and
+gone by while we were at dinner; "but," said he, impressively, "be not
+disturbed by that--remain tranquil--give yourselves no uneasiness--their
+dust rises far before us--rest you tranquil, leave all to me--I am the
+king of drivers. Behold!"
+
+Down came his whip, and away we clattered. I never had such a shaking up
+in my life. The recent flooding rains had washed the road clear away in
+places, but we never stopped, we never slowed down for anything. We tore
+right along, over rocks, rubbish, gullies, open fields--sometimes with
+one or two wheels on the ground, but generally with none. Every now and
+then that calm, good-natured madman would bend a majestic look over his
+shoulder at us and say, "Ah, you perceive? It is as I have said--I am
+the king of drivers." Every time we just missed going to destruction,
+he would say, with tranquil happiness, "Enjoy it, gentlemen, it is very
+rare, it is very unusual--it is given to few to ride with the king of
+drivers--and observe, it is as I have said, I am he."
+
+
+
+He spoke in French, and punctuated with hiccoughs. His friend was
+French, too, but spoke in German--using the same system of punctuation,
+however. The friend called himself the "Captain of Mont Blanc," and
+wanted us to make the ascent with him. He said he had made more ascents
+than any other man--forty seven--and his brother had made thirty-seven.
+His brother was the best guide in the world, except himself--but he,
+yes, observe him well--he was the "Captain of Mont Blanc"--that title
+belonged to none other.
+
+The "king" was as good as his word--he overtook that long procession
+of tourists and went by it like a hurricane. The result was that we got
+choicer rooms at the hotel in Chamonix than we should have done if
+his majesty had been a slower artist--or rather, if he hadn't most
+providentially got drunk before he left Argentiere.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+***** This file should be named 5787.txt or 5787.zip *****
+This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
+ http://www.gutenberg.org/5/7/8/5787/
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
+will be renamed.
+
+Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
+one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
+(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
+permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
+set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
+copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
+protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
+Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
+charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
+do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
+rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
+such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
+research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
+practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
+subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
+redistribution.
+
+
+
+*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
+
+THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
+PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
+
+To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
+distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
+(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
+http://gutenberg.org/license).
+
+
+Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic works
+
+1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
+and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
+(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
+the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
+all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
+If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
+terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
+entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
+
+1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
+used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
+agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
+things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
+even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
+paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
+and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works. See paragraph 1.E below.
+
+1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
+or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
+collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
+individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
+located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
+copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
+works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
+are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
+Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
+freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
+this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
+the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
+keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
+Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
+
+1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
+what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
+a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
+the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
+before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
+creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
+Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
+the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
+States.
+
+1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
+
+1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
+access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
+whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
+phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
+Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
+copied or distributed:
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
+from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
+posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
+and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
+or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
+with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
+work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
+through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
+Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
+1.E.9.
+
+1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
+with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
+must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
+terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
+to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
+permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
+
+1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
+work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
+
+1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
+electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
+prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
+active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm License.
+
+1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
+compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
+word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
+distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
+"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
+posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
+you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
+copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
+request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
+form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
+
+1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
+performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
+unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
+
+1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
+access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
+that
+
+- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
+ the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
+ you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
+ owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
+ has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
+ Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
+ must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
+ prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
+ returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
+ sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
+ address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
+ the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
+
+- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
+ you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
+ does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
+ License. You must require such a user to return or
+ destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
+ and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
+ Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
+ money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
+ electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
+ of receipt of the work.
+
+- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
+ distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
+
+1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
+electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
+forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
+both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
+Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
+Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
+
+1.F.
+
+1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
+effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
+public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
+collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
+"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
+corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
+property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
+computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
+your equipment.
+
+1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
+of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
+Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
+Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
+liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
+fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
+LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
+PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
+TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
+LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
+INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
+DAMAGE.
+
+1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
+defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
+receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
+written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
+received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
+your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
+the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
+refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
+providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
+receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
+is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
+opportunities to fix the problem.
+
+1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
+in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
+WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
+WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
+
+1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
+warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
+If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
+law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
+interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
+the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
+provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
+
+1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
+trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
+providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
+with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
+promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
+harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
+that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
+or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
+work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
+Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
+
+
+Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
+electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
+including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
+because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
+people in all walks of life.
+
+Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
+assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
+goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
+remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
+Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
+and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
+To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
+and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
+and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
+
+
+Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
+Foundation
+
+The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
+501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
+state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
+Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
+number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
+http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
+permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
+
+The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
+Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
+throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at
+809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
+business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact
+information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
+page at http://pglaf.org
+
+For additional contact information:
+ Dr. Gregory B. Newby
+ Chief Executive and Director
+ gbnewby@pglaf.org
+
+
+Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
+Literary Archive Foundation
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
+spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
+increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
+freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
+array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
+($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
+status with the IRS.
+
+The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
+charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
+States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
+considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
+with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
+where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
+SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
+particular state visit http://pglaf.org
+
+While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
+have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
+against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
+approach us with offers to donate.
+
+International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
+any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
+outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
+
+Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
+methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
+ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
+To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
+
+
+Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
+works.
+
+Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
+concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
+with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
+Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
+
+
+Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
+editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
+unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
+keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
+
+
+Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
+
+ http://www.gutenberg.org
+
+This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
+including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
+Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
+subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.