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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 6
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: March 1994 [EBook #5787]
+Posting Date: June 3, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 6.
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+(Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+First published in 1880
+
+Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS:
+
+     1.    PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR
+     2.    TITIAN'S MOSES
+     3.    THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES
+     236.  A SUNDAY MORNING'S DEMON
+     237.  JUST SAVED
+     238.  SCENE IN VALLEY OF ZERMATT
+     239.  ARRIVAL AT ZERMATT
+     240.  FITTED OUT
+     241.  A FEARFUL FALL
+     242.  TAIL PIECE
+     243.  ALL READY
+     244.  THE MARCH
+     245.  THE CARAVAN
+     246.  THE HOOK
+     247.  THE DISABLED CHAPLAIN
+     248.  TRYING EXPERIMENTS
+     249.  SAVED! SAVED!
+     250.  TWENTY MINUTES WORK
+     251.  THE BLACK RAM
+     252.  THE MIRACLE
+     253.  THE NEW GUIDE
+     251.  SCIENTIFIC RESEARCHES
+     255.  MOUNTAIN CHALET
+     256.  THE GRANDSON
+     257.  OCCASIONLY MET WITH
+     258.  SUMMIT OF THE GORNER GRAT
+     259.  CHIEFS OF THE ADVANCE GUARD
+     260.  MY PICTURE OF THE MATTERHORN
+     261.  EVERYBODY HAD AN EXCUSE
+     262.  SPRUNG A LEAK
+     263.  A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION
+     264.  A TERMINAL MORAINE
+     265.  FRONT OF GLACIER
+     266.  AN OLD MORAINE
+     267.  GLACIER OF ZERMATT WITH LATERAL MORAINE
+     269.  UNEXPECTED MEETING OF FRIENDS
+     269.  VILLAGE OF CHAMONIX
+     270.  THE MATTERHORN
+     271.  ON THE SUMMIT
+     272.  ACCIDENT ON THE MATTERHORN (1865)
+     273.  ROPED TOGETHER
+     274.  STORAGE OF ANCESTORS
+     275.  FALLING OUT OF HIS FARM
+     276.  CHILD LIFE IN SWITZERLAND
+     277.  A SUNDAY PLAY
+     278.  THE COMBINATION
+     279.  CHILLON
+     280.  THE TETE NOIR
+     281.  MONT BLANC'S NEIGHBORS
+     282.  AN EXQUISITE THING
+     283.  A WILD RIDE
+     284.  SWISS PEASANT GIRL
+
+
+
+CONTENTS: CHAPTER XXXVI Sunday Church Bells--A Cause of
+Profanity--A Magnificent Glacier--Fault Finding by Harris--Almost
+an Accident--Selfishness of Harris--Approaching Zermatt--The
+Matterhorn--Zermatt--Home of Mountain Climbers--Fitted out for
+Climbing--A Fearful Adventure --Never Satisfied
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII A Calm Decision--"I Will Ascend the
+Riffelberg"--Preparations for the Trip--All Zermatt on the
+Alert--Schedule of Persons and Things--An Unprecedented Display--A
+General Turn--out--Ready for a Start--The Post of Danger--The Advance
+Directed--Grand Display of Umbrellas--The First Camp--Almost a
+Panic--Supposed to be Lost--The First Accident--A Chaplain Disabled--An
+Experimenting Mule--Good Effects of a Blunder--Badly Lost--A
+Reconnoiter--Mystery and Doubt--Stern Measures Taken--A Black Ram--Saved
+by a Miracle--The Guide's Guide
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII Our Expedition Continued--Experiments with the
+Barometer--Boiling Thermometer--Barometer Soup--An Interesting
+Scientific Discovery--Crippling a Latinist--A Chaplain Injured--Short
+of Barkeepers--Digging a Mountain Cellar--A Young American
+Specimen--Somebody's Grandson--Arrival at Riffelberg Botel--Ascent of
+Gorner Grat--Faith in Thermometers--The Matterhorn
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX Guide Books--Plans for the Return of the Expedition--A
+Glacier Train--Parachute Descent from Gorner Grat--Proposed Honors
+to Harris Declined--All had an Excuse--A Magnificent Idea
+Abandoned--Descent to the Glacier--A Supposed Leak--A Slow Train--The
+Glacier Abandoned--Journey to Zermatt--A Scientific Question
+
+CHAPTER XL Glaciers--Glacier Perils--Moraines--Terminal
+Moraines--Lateral Moraines--Immense Size of Glacier--Traveling
+Glacier----General Movements of Glaciers--Ascent of Mont Blacc--Loss
+of Guides--Finding of Remains--Meeting of Old Friends--The Dead and
+Living--Proposed Museum--The Relics at Chamonix
+
+CHAPTER XLI The Matterhorn Catastrophe of 1563--Mr Whymper's
+Narrative--Ascent of the Matterhorn--The Summit--The Matterhorn
+Conquered--The Descent Commenced--A Fearful Disaster--Death of Lord
+Douglas and Two Others--The Graves of the Two
+
+CHAPTER XLII Switzerland--Graveyard at Zermatt--Balloting for
+Marriage--Farmers as Heroes--Falling off a Farm--From St Nicholas to
+Visp--Dangerous Traveling--Children's Play--The Parson's Children--A
+Landlord's Daughter--A Rare Combination--Ch iIIon--Lost Sympathy--Mont
+Blanc and its Neighbors--Beauty of Soap Bubbles--A Wild Drive--The King
+of Drivers--Benefit of getting Drunk
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+[The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing]
+
+
+We did not oversleep at St. Nicholas. The church-bell began to ring at
+four-thirty in the morning, and from the length of time it continued
+to ring I judged that it takes the Swiss sinner a good while to get the
+invitation through his head. Most church-bells in the world are of poor
+quality, and have a harsh and rasping sound which upsets the temper and
+produces much sin, but the St. Nicholas bell is a good deal the worst
+one that has been contrived yet, and is peculiarly maddening in its
+operation. Still, it may have its right and its excuse to exist, for the
+community is poor and not every citizen can afford a clock, perhaps; but
+there cannot be any excuse for our church-bells at home, for there is
+no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair
+pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from
+our steeples. There is much more profanity in America on Sunday than in
+all in the other six days of the week put together, and it is of a more
+bitter and malignant character than the week-day profanity, too. It is
+produced by the cracked-pot clangor of the cheap church-bells.
+
+
+
+We build our churches almost without regard to cost; we rear an edifice
+which is an adornment to the town, and we gild it, and fresco it, and
+mortgage it, and do everything we can think of to perfect it, and then
+spoil it all by putting a bell on it which afflicts everybody who hears
+it, giving some the headache, others St. Vitus's dance, and the rest the
+blind staggers.
+
+An American village at ten o'clock on a summer Sunday is the quietest
+and peacefulest and holiest thing in nature; but it is a pretty
+different thing half an hour later. Mr. Poe's poem of the "Bells" stands
+incomplete to this day; but it is well enough that it is so, for the
+public reciter or "reader" who goes around trying to imitate the sounds
+of the various sorts of bells with his voice would find himself "up a
+stump" when he got to the church-bell--as Joseph Addison would say. The
+church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be
+a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. It is still
+clinging to one or two things which were useful once, but which are
+not useful now, neither are they ornamental. One is the bell-ringing
+to remind a clock-caked town that it is church-time, and another is the
+reading from the pulpit of a tedious list of "notices" which everybody
+who is interested has already read in the newspaper. The clergyman even
+reads the hymn through--a relic of an ancient time when hymn-books are
+scarce and costly; but everybody has a hymn-book, now, and so the public
+reading is no longer necessary. It is not merely unnecessary, it is
+generally painful; for the average clergyman could not fire into his
+congregation with a shotgun and hit a worse reader than himself, unless
+the weapon scattered shamefully. I am not meaning to be flippant and
+irreverent, I am only meaning to be truthful. The average clergyman, in
+all countries and of all denominations, is a very bad reader. One would
+think he would at least learn how to read the Lord's Prayer, by and by,
+but it is not so. He races through it as if he thought the quicker
+he got it in, the sooner it would be answered. A person who does not
+appreciate the exceeding value of pauses, and does not know how to
+measure their duration judiciously, cannot render the grand simplicity
+and dignity of a composition like that effectively.
+
+We took a tolerably early breakfast, and tramped off toward Zermatt
+through the reeking lanes of the village, glad to get away from that
+bell. By and by we had a fine spectacle on our right. It was the
+wall-like butt end of a huge glacier, which looked down on us from an
+Alpine height which was well up in the blue sky. It was an astonishing
+amount of ice to be compacted together in one mass. We ciphered upon it
+and decided that it was not less than several hundred feet from the base
+of the wall of solid ice to the top of it--Harris believed it was
+really twice that. We judged that if St. Paul's, St. Peter's, the Great
+Pyramid, the Strasburg Cathedral and the Capitol in Washington were
+clustered against that wall, a man sitting on its upper edge could not
+hang his hat on the top of any one of them without reaching down three
+or four hundred feet--a thing which, of course, no man could do.
+
+To me, that mighty glacier was very beautiful. I did not imagine that
+anybody could find fault with it; but I was mistaken. Harris had been
+snarling for several days. He was a rabid Protestant, and he was always
+saying:
+
+"In the Protestant cantons you never see such poverty and dirt and
+squalor as you do in this Catholic one; you never see the lanes and
+alleys flowing with foulness; you never see such wretched little sties
+of houses; you never see an inverted tin turnip on top of a church for
+a dome; and as for a church-bell, why, you never hear a church-bell at
+all."
+
+All this morning he had been finding fault, straight along. First it was
+with the mud. He said, "It ain't muddy in a Protestant canton when it
+rains." Then it was with the dogs: "They don't have those lop-eared dogs
+in a Protestant canton." Then it was with the roads: "They don't leave
+the roads to make themselves in a Protestant canton, the people make
+them--and they make a road that IS a road, too." Next it was the goats:
+"You never see a goat shedding tears in a Protestant canton--a goat,
+there, is one of the cheerfulest objects in nature." Next it was the
+chamois: "You never see a Protestant chamois act like one of these--they
+take a bite or two and go; but these fellows camp with you and stay."
+Then it was the guide-boards: "In a Protestant canton you couldn't get
+lost if you wanted to, but you never see a guide-board in a Catholic
+canton." Next, "You never see any flower-boxes in the windows,
+here--never anything but now and then a cat--a torpid one; but you take
+a Protestant canton: windows perfectly lovely with flowers--and as for
+cats, there's just acres of them. These folks in this canton leave a
+road to make itself, and then fine you three francs if you 'trot' over
+it--as if a horse could trot over such a sarcasm of a road." Next about
+the goiter: "THEY talk about goiter!--I haven't seen a goiter in this
+whole canton that I couldn't put in a hat."
+
+He had growled at everything, but I judged it would puzzle him to find
+anything the matter with this majestic glacier. I intimated as much; but
+he was ready, and said with surly discontent: "You ought to see them in
+the Protestant cantons."
+
+This irritated me. But I concealed the feeling, and asked:
+
+"What is the matter with this one?"
+
+"Matter? Why, it ain't in any kind of condition. They never take any
+care of a glacier here. The moraine has been spilling gravel around it,
+and got it all dirty."
+
+"Why, man, THEY can't help that."
+
+"THEY? You're right. That is, they WON'T. They could if they wanted to.
+You never see a speck of dirt on a Protestant glacier. Look at the Rhone
+glacier. It is fifteen miles long, and seven hundred feet thick. If this
+was a Protestant glacier you wouldn't see it looking like this, I can
+tell you."
+
+"That is nonsense. What would they do with it?"
+
+"They would whitewash it. They always do."
+
+I did not believe a word of this, but rather than have trouble I let it
+go; for it is a waste of breath to argue with a bigot. I even doubted if
+the Rhone glacier WAS in a Protestant canton; but I did not know, so I
+could not make anything by contradicting a man who would probably put me
+down at once with manufactured evidence.
+
+About nine miles from St. Nicholas we crossed a bridge over the raging
+torrent of the Visp, and came to a log strip of flimsy fencing which
+was pretending to secure people from tumbling over a perpendicular wall
+forty feet high and into the river. Three children were approaching; one
+of them, a little girl, about eight years old, was running; when pretty
+close to us she stumbled and fell, and her feet shot under the rail of
+the fence and for a moment projected over the stream. It gave us a
+sharp shock, for we thought she was gone, sure, for the ground slanted
+steeply, and to save herself seemed a sheer impossibility; but she
+managed to scramble up, and ran by us laughing.
+
+We went forward and examined the place and saw the long tracks which her
+feet had made in the dirt when they darted over the verge. If she had
+finished her trip she would have struck some big rocks in the edge of
+the water, and then the torrent would have snatched her downstream among
+the half-covered boulders and she would have been pounded to pulp in two
+minutes. We had come exceedingly near witnessing her death.
+
+
+
+And now Harris's contrary nature and inborn selfishness were strikingly
+manifested. He has no spirit of self-denial. He began straight off, and
+continued for an hour, to express his gratitude that the child was not
+destroyed. I never saw such a man. That was the kind of person he was;
+just so HE was gratified, he never cared anything about anybody else. I
+had noticed that trait in him, over and over again. Often, of course, it
+was mere heedlessness, mere want of reflection. Doubtless this may have
+been the case in most instances, but it was not the less hard to bar
+on that account--and after all, its bottom, its groundwork, was
+selfishness. There is no avoiding that conclusion. In the instance under
+consideration, I did think the indecency of running on in that way might
+occur to him; but no, the child was saved and he was glad, that was
+sufficient--he cared not a straw for MY feelings, or my loss of such a
+literary plum, snatched from my very mouth at the instant it was
+ready to drop into it. His selfishness was sufficient to place his own
+gratification in being spared suffering clear before all concern for
+me, his friend. Apparently, he did not once reflect upon the valuable
+details which would have fallen like a windfall to me: fishing the child
+out--witnessing the surprise of the family and the stir the thing would
+have made among the peasants--then a Swiss funeral--then the roadside
+monument, to be paid for by us and have our names mentioned in it. And
+we should have gone into Baedeker and been immortal. I was silent. I was
+too much hurt to complain. If he could act so, and be so heedless and so
+frivolous at such a time, and actually seem to glory in it, after all
+I had done for him, I would have cut my hand off before I would let him
+see that I was wounded.
+
+
+
+We were approaching Zermatt; consequently, we were approaching the
+renowned Matterhorn. A month before, this mountain had been only a name
+to us, but latterly we had been moving through a steadily thickening
+double row of pictures of it, done in oil, water, chromo, wood, steel,
+copper, crayon, and photography, and so it had at length become a shape
+to us--and a very distinct, decided, and familiar one, too. We were
+expecting to recognize that mountain whenever or wherever we should run
+across it. We were not deceived. The monarch was far away when we first
+saw him, but there was no such thing as mistaking him. He has the rare
+peculiarity of standing by himself; he is peculiarly steep, too, and is
+also most oddly shaped. He towers into the sky like a colossal wedge,
+with the upper third of its blade bent a little to the left. The broad
+base of this monster wedge is planted upon a grand glacier-paved Alpine
+platform whose elevation is ten thousand feet above sea-level; as the
+wedge itself is some five thousand feet high, it follows that its apex
+is about fifteen thousand feet above sea-level. So the whole bulk of
+this stately piece of rock, this sky-cleaving monolith, is above the
+line of eternal snow. Yet while all its giant neighbors have the look of
+being built of solid snow, from their waists up, the Matterhorn stands
+black and naked and forbidding, the year round, or merely powdered or
+streaked with white in places, for its sides are so steep that the
+snow cannot stay there. Its strange form, its august isolation, and its
+majestic unkinship with its own kind, make it--so to speak--the Napoleon
+of the mountain world. "Grand, gloomy, and peculiar," is a phrase which
+fits it as aptly as it fitted the great captain.
+
+Think of a monument a mile high, standing on a pedestal two miles high!
+This is what the Matterhorn is--a monument. Its office, henceforth, for
+all time, will be to keep watch and ward over the secret resting-place
+of the young Lord Douglas, who, in 1865, was precipitated from the
+summit over a precipice four thousand feet high, and never seen again.
+No man ever had such a monument as this before; the most imposing of
+the world's other monuments are but atoms compared to it; and they will
+perish, and their places will pass from memory, but this will remain.
+
+[The accident which cost Lord Douglas his life (see Chapter xii) also
+cost the lives of three other men. These three fell four-fifths of a
+mile, and their bodies were afterward found, lying side by side, upon a
+glacier, whence they were borne to Zermatt and buried in the churchyard.
+
+The remains of Lord Douglas have never been found. The secret of his
+sepulture, like that of Moses, must remain a mystery always.]
+
+A walk from St. Nicholas to Zermatt is a wonderful experience. Nature
+is built on a stupendous plan in that region. One marches continually
+between walls that are piled into the skies, with their upper heights
+broken into a confusion of sublime shapes that gleam white and cold
+against the background of blue; and here and there one sees a big
+glacier displaying its grandeurs on the top of a precipice, or a
+graceful cascade leaping and flashing down the green declivities. There
+is nothing tame, or cheap, or trivial--it is all magnificent. That
+short valley is a picture-gallery of a notable kind, for it contains
+no mediocrities; from end to end the Creator has hung it with His
+masterpieces.
+
+
+
+We made Zermatt at three in the afternoon, nine hours out from
+St. Nicholas. Distance, by guide-book, twelve miles; by pedometer
+seventy-two. We were in the heart and home of the mountain-climbers,
+now, as all visible things testified. The snow-peaks did not hold
+themselves aloof, in aristocratic reserve; they nestled close around,
+in a friendly, sociable way; guides, with the ropes and axes and other
+implements of their fearful calling slung about their persons, roosted
+in a long line upon a stone wall in front of the hotel, and waited for
+customers; sun-burnt climbers, in mountaineering costume, and followed
+by their guides and porters, arrived from time to time, from breakneck
+expeditions among the peaks and glaciers of the High Alps; male and
+female tourists, on mules, filed by, in a continuous procession,
+hotelward-bound from wild adventures which would grow in grandeur every
+time they were described at the English or American fireside, and at
+last outgrow the possible itself.
+
+We were not dreaming; this was not a make-believe home of the
+Alp-climber, created by our heated imaginations; no, for here was Mr.
+Girdlestone himself, the famous Englishman who hunts his way to the most
+formidable Alpine summits without a guide. I was not equal to imagining
+a Girdlestone; it was all I could do to even realize him, while looking
+straight at him at short range. I would rather face whole Hyde Parks of
+artillery than the ghastly forms of death which he has faced among the
+peaks and precipices of the mountains. There is probably no pleasure
+equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure
+which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. I have
+not jumped to this conclusion; I have traveled to it per gravel-train,
+so to speak. I have thought the thing all out, and am quite sure I am
+right. A born climber's appetite for climbing is hard to satisfy; when
+it comes upon him he is like a starving man with a feast before him; he
+may have other business on hand, but it must wait. Mr. Girdlestone had
+had his usual summer holiday in the Alps, and had spent it in his usual
+way, hunting for unique chances to break his neck; his vacation was
+over, and his luggage packed for England, but all of a sudden a hunger
+had come upon him to climb the tremendous Weisshorn once more, for he
+had heard of a new and utterly impossible route up it. His baggage
+was unpacked at once, and now he and a friend, laden with knapsacks,
+ice-axes, coils of rope, and canteens of milk, were just setting out.
+They would spend the night high up among the snows, somewhere, and
+get up at two in the morning and finish the enterprise. I had a
+strong desire to go with them, but forced it down--a feat which Mr.
+Girdlestone, with all his fortitude, could not do.
+
+Even ladies catch the climbing mania, and are unable to throw it off.
+A famous climber, of that sex, had attempted the Weisshorn a few days
+before our arrival, and she and her guides had lost their way in a
+snow-storm high up among the peaks and glaciers and been forced to
+wander around a good while before they could find a way down. When this
+lady reached the bottom, she had been on her feet twenty-three hours!
+
+Our guides, hired on the Gemmi, were already at Zermatt when we
+reached there. So there was nothing to interfere with our getting up an
+adventure whenever we should choose the time and the object. I resolved
+to devote my first evening in Zermatt to studying up the subject of
+Alpine climbing, by way of preparation.
+
+I read several books, and here are some of the things I found out. One's
+shoes must be strong and heavy, and have pointed hobnails in them. The
+alpenstock must be of the best wood, for if it should break, loss of
+life might be the result. One should carry an ax, to cut steps in the
+ice with, on the great heights. There must be a ladder, for there are
+steep bits of rock which can be surmounted with this instrument--or this
+utensil--but could not be surmounted without it; such an obstruction
+has compelled the tourist to waste hours hunting another route, when a
+ladder would have saved him all trouble. One must have from one hundred
+and fifty to five hundred feet of strong rope, to be used in lowering
+the party down steep declivities which are too steep and smooth to
+be traversed in any other way. One must have a steel hook, on another
+rope--a very useful thing; for when one is ascending and comes to a low
+bluff which is yet too high for the ladder, he swings this rope aloft
+like a lasso, the hook catches at the top of the bluff, and then the
+tourist climbs the rope, hand over hand--being always particular to try
+and forget that if the hook gives way he will never stop falling till
+he arrives in some part of Switzerland where they are not expecting him.
+Another important thing--there must be a rope to tie the whole party
+together with, so that if one falls from a mountain or down a bottomless
+chasm in a glacier, the others may brace back on the rope and save him.
+One must have a silk veil, to protect his face from snow, sleet, hail
+and gale, and colored goggles to protect his eyes from that dangerous
+enemy, snow-blindness. Finally, there must be some porters, to carry
+provisions, wine and scientific instruments, and also blanket bags for
+the party to sleep in.
+
+
+
+I closed my readings with a fearful adventure which Mr. Whymper once had
+on the Matterhorn when he was prowling around alone, five thousand
+feet above the town of Breil. He was edging his way gingerly around
+the corner of a precipice where the upper edge of a sharp declivity of
+ice-glazed snow joined it. This declivity swept down a couple of hundred
+feet, into a gully which curved around and ended at a precipice eight
+hundred feet high, overlooking a glacier. His foot slipped, and he fell.
+
+He says:
+
+"My knapsack brought my head down first, and I pitched into some rocks
+about a dozen feet below; they caught something, and tumbled me off
+the edge, head over heels, into the gully; the baton was dashed from my
+hands, and I whirled downward in a series of bounds, each longer than
+the last; now over ice, now into rocks, striking my head four or five
+times, each time with increased force. The last bound sent me spinning
+through the air in a leap of fifty or sixty feet, from one side of the
+gully to the other, and I struck the rocks, luckily, with the whole of
+my left side. They caught my clothes for a moment, and I fell back on to
+the snow with motion arrested. My head fortunately came the right side
+up, and a few frantic catches brought me to a halt, in the neck of the
+gully and on the verge of the precipice. Baton, hat, and veil skimmed
+by and disappeared, and the crash of the rocks--which I had started--as
+they fell on to the glacier, told how narrow had been the escape from
+utter destruction. As it was, I fell nearly two hundred feet in seven or
+eight bounds. Ten feet more would have taken me in one gigantic leap of
+eight hundred feet on to the glacier below.
+
+
+
+"The situation was sufficiently serious. The rocks could not be let go
+for a moment, and the blood was spurting out of more than twenty cuts.
+The most serious ones were in the head, and I vainly tried to close
+them with one hand, while holding on with the other. It was useless;
+the blood gushed out in blinding jets at each pulsation. At last, in a
+moment of inspiration, I kicked out a big lump of snow and struck it
+as plaster on my head. The idea was a happy one, and the flow of blood
+diminished. Then, scrambling up, I got, not a moment too soon, to
+a place of safety, and fainted away. The sun was setting when
+consciousness returned, and it was pitch-dark before the Great Staircase
+was descended; but by a combination of luck and care, the whole four
+thousand seven hundred feet of descent to Breil was accomplished without
+a slip, or once missing the way."
+
+His wounds kept him abed some days. Then he got up and climbed that
+mountain again. That is the way with a true Alp-climber; the more fun he
+has, the more he wants.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+[Our Imposing Column Starts Upward]
+
+
+After I had finished my readings, I was no longer myself; I was tranced,
+uplifted, intoxicated, by the almost incredible perils and adventures
+I had been following my authors through, and the triumphs I had been
+sharing with them. I sat silent some time, then turned to Harris and
+said:
+
+"My mind is made up."
+
+Something in my tone struck him: and when he glanced at my eye and
+read what was written there, his face paled perceptibly. He hesitated a
+moment, then said:
+
+"Speak."
+
+I answered, with perfect calmness:
+
+"I will ascend the Riffelberg."
+
+If I had shot my poor friend he could not have fallen from his chair
+more suddenly. If I had been his father he could not have pleaded harder
+to get me to give up my purpose. But I turned a deaf ear to all he said.
+When he perceived at last that nothing could alter my determination, he
+ceased to urge, and for a while the deep silence was broken only by his
+sobs. I sat in marble resolution, with my eyes fixed upon vacancy, for
+in spirit I was already wrestling with the perils of the mountains, and
+my friend sat gazing at me in adoring admiration through his tears.
+At last he threw himself upon me in a loving embrace and exclaimed in
+broken tones:
+
+"Your Harris will never desert you. We will die together."
+
+I cheered the noble fellow with praises, and soon his fears were
+forgotten and he was eager for the adventure. He wanted to summon the
+guides at once and leave at two in the morning, as he supposed the
+custom was; but I explained that nobody was looking at that hour; and
+that the start in the dark was not usually made from the village but
+from the first night's resting-place on the mountain side. I said we
+would leave the village at 3 or 4 P.M. on the morrow; meantime he could
+notify the guides, and also let the public know of the attempt which we
+proposed to make.
+
+I went to bed, but not to sleep. No man can sleep when he is about to
+undertake one of these Alpine exploits. I tossed feverishly all night
+long, and was glad enough when I heard the clock strike half past eleven
+and knew it was time to get up for dinner. I rose, jaded and rusty, and
+went to the noon meal, where I found myself the center of interest and
+curiosity; for the news was already abroad. It is not easy to eat calmly
+when you are a lion; but it is very pleasant, nevertheless.
+
+As usual, at Zermatt, when a great ascent is about to be undertaken,
+everybody, native and foreign, laid aside his own projects and took up
+a good position to observe the start. The expedition consisted of 198
+persons, including the mules; or 205, including the cows. As follows:
+
+    CHIEFS OF SERVICE     SUBORDINATES
+
+     Myself      1  Veterinary Surgeon
+     Mr. Harris  1  Butler
+ 17  Guides     12  Waiters
+ 4  Surgeons     1  Footman
+ 1  Geologist    1  Barber
+ 1  Botanist     1  Head Cook
+ 3  Chaplains    9  Assistants
+ 2  Draftsman    4  Pastry Cooks
+ 15  Barkeepers  1  Confectionery Artist
+ 1  Latinist
+
+     TRANSPORTATION, ETC.
+
+ 27  Porters     3  Coarse Washers and Ironers
+ 44  Mules       1  Fine ditto
+ 44  Muleteers   7  Cows
+                 2  Milkers
+
+Total, 154 men, 51 animals. Grand Total, 205.
+
+
+      RATIONS, ETC.          APPARATUS
+
+ 16  Cases Hams      25  Spring Mattresses
+ 2  Barrels Flour     2  Hair ditto
+ 22  Barrels Whiskey     Bedding for same
+ 1  Barrel Sugar      2  Mosquito-nets
+ 1  Keg Lemons       29  Tents
+ 2,000 Cigars            Scientific Instruments
+ 1  Barrel Pies      97  Ice-axes
+ 1  Ton of Pemmican   5  Cases Dynamite
+ 143  Pair Crutches   7  Cans Nitroglycerin
+ 2  Barrels Arnica   22  40-foot Ladders
+ 1  Bale of Lint      2  Miles of Rope
+ 27  Kegs Paregoric 154  Umbrellas
+
+It was full four o'clock in the afternoon before my cavalcade was
+entirely ready. At that hour it began to move. In point of numbers and
+spectacular effect, it was the most imposing expedition that had ever
+marched from Zermatt.
+
+
+
+I commanded the chief guide to arrange the men and animals in single
+file, twelve feet apart, and lash them all together on a strong rope. He
+objected that the first two miles was a dead level, with plenty of room,
+and that the rope was never used except in very dangerous places. But
+I would not listen to that. My reading had taught me that many serious
+accidents had happened in the Alps simply from not having the people
+tied up soon enough; I was not going to add one to the list. The guide
+then obeyed my order.
+
+When the procession stood at ease, roped together, and ready to move, I
+never saw a finer sight. It was 3,122 feet long--over half a mile; every
+man and me was on foot, and had on his green veil and his blue goggles,
+and his white rag around his hat, and his coil of rope over one shoulder
+and under the other, and his ice-ax in his belt, and carried his
+alpenstock in his left hand, his umbrella (closed) in his right, and his
+crutches slung at his back. The burdens of the pack-mules and the horns
+of the cows were decked with the Edelweiss and the Alpine rose.
+
+I and my agent were the only persons mounted. We were in the post of
+danger in the extreme rear, and tied securely to five guides apiece. Our
+armor-bearers carried our ice-axes, alpenstocks, and other implements
+for us. We were mounted upon very small donkeys, as a measure of safety;
+in time of peril we could straighten our legs and stand up, and let
+the donkey walk from under. Still, I cannot recommend this sort of
+animal--at least for excursions of mere pleasure--because his
+ears interrupt the view. I and my agent possessed the regulation
+mountaineering costumes, but concluded to leave them behind. Out of
+respect for the great numbers of tourists of both sexes who would be
+assembled in front of the hotels to see us pass, and also out of respect
+for the many tourists whom we expected to encounter on our expedition,
+we decided to make the ascent in evening dress.
+
+
+
+We watered the caravan at the cold stream which rushes down a trough
+near the end of the village, and soon afterward left the haunts of
+civilization behind us. About half past five o'clock we arrived at a
+bridge which spans the Visp, and after throwing over a detachment to see
+if it was safe, the caravan crossed without accident. The way now led,
+by a gentle ascent, carpeted with fresh green grass, to the church at
+Winkelmatten. Without stopping to examine this edifice, I executed
+a flank movement to the right and crossed the bridge over the
+Findelenbach, after first testing its strength. Here I deployed to the
+right again, and presently entered an inviting stretch of meadowland
+which was unoccupied save by a couple of deserted huts toward the
+furthest extremity. These meadows offered an excellent camping-place.
+We pitched our tents, supped, established a proper grade, recorded the
+events of the day, and then went to bed.
+
+We rose at two in the morning and dressed by candle-light. It was a
+dismal and chilly business. A few stars were shining, but the general
+heavens were overcast, and the great shaft of the Matterhorn was draped
+in a cable pall of clouds. The chief guide advised a delay; he said he
+feared it was going to rain. We waited until nine o'clock, and then got
+away in tolerably clear weather.
+
+
+
+Our course led up some terrific steeps, densely wooded with larches and
+cedars, and traversed by paths which the rains had guttered and which
+were obstructed by loose stones. To add to the danger and inconvenience,
+we were constantly meeting returning tourists on foot and horseback, and
+as constantly being crowded and battered by ascending tourists who were
+in a hurry and wanted to get by.
+
+Our troubles thickened. About the middle of the afternoon the seventeen
+guides called a halt and held a consultation. After consulting an hour
+they said their first suspicion remained intact--that is to say, they
+believed they were lost. I asked if they did not KNOW it? No, they said,
+they COULDN'T absolutely know whether they were lost or not, because
+none of them had ever been in that part of the country before. They had
+a strong instinct that they were lost, but they had no proofs--except
+that they did not know where they were. They had met no tourists for
+some time, and they considered that a suspicious sign.
+
+Plainly we were in an ugly fix. The guides were naturally unwilling to
+go alone and seek a way out of the difficulty; so we all went together.
+For better security we moved slow and cautiously, for the forest was
+very dense. We did not move up the mountain, but around it, hoping to
+strike across the old trail. Toward nightfall, when we were about tired
+out, we came up against a rock as big as a cottage. This barrier took
+all the remaining spirit out of the men, and a panic of fear and despair
+ensued. They moaned and wept, and said they should never see their homes
+and their dear ones again. Then they began to upbraid me for bringing
+them upon this fatal expedition. Some even muttered threats against me.
+
+Clearly it was no time to show weakness. So I made a speech in which I
+said that other Alp-climbers had been in as perilous a position as this,
+and yet by courage and perseverance had escaped. I promised to stand
+by them, I promised to rescue them. I closed by saying we had plenty
+of provisions to maintain us for quite a siege--and did they suppose
+Zermatt would allow half a mile of men and mules to mysteriously
+disappear during any considerable time, right above their noses, and
+make no inquiries? No, Zermatt would send out searching-expeditions and
+we should be saved.
+
+This speech had a great effect. The men pitched the tents with some
+little show of cheerfulness, and we were snugly under cover when the
+night shut down. I now reaped the reward of my wisdom in providing one
+article which is not mentioned in any book of Alpine adventure but this.
+I refer to the paregoric. But for that beneficent drug, would have not
+one of those men slept a moment during that fearful night. But for that
+gentle persuader they must have tossed, unsoothed, the night through;
+for the whiskey was for me. Yes, they would have risen in the morning
+unfitted for their heavy task. As it was, everybody slept but my agent
+and me--only we and the barkeepers. I would not permit myself to sleep
+at such a time. I considered myself responsible for all those lives. I
+meant to be on hand and ready, in case of avalanches up there, but I did
+not know it then.
+
+We watched the weather all through that awful night, and kept an eye on
+the barometer, to be prepared for the least change. There was not the
+slightest change recorded by the instrument, during the whole time.
+Words cannot describe the comfort that that friendly, hopeful, steadfast
+thing was to me in that season of trouble. It was a defective barometer,
+and had no hand but the stationary brass pointer, but I did not know
+that until afterward. If I should be in such a situation again, I should
+not wish for any barometer but that one.
+
+
+
+All hands rose at two in the morning and took breakfast, and as soon as
+it was light we roped ourselves together and went at that rock. For some
+time we tried the hook-rope and other means of scaling it, but without
+success--that is, without perfect success. The hook caught once, and
+Harris started up it hand over hand, but the hold broke and if there
+had not happened to be a chaplain sitting underneath at the time, Harris
+would certainly have been crippled. As it was, it was the chaplain. He
+took to his crutches, and I ordered the hook-rope to be laid aside. It
+was too dangerous an implement where so many people are standing around.
+
+
+
+We were puzzled for a while; then somebody thought of the ladders.
+One of these was leaned against the rock, and the men went up it tied
+together in couples. Another ladder was sent up for use in descending.
+At the end of half an hour everybody was over, and that rock was
+conquered. We gave our first grand shout of triumph. But the joy was
+short-lived, for somebody asked how we were going to get the animals
+over.
+
+This was a serious difficulty; in fact, it was an impossibility.
+The courage of the men began to waver immediately; once more we were
+threatened with a panic. But when the danger was most imminent, we were
+saved in a mysterious way. A mule which had attracted attention from the
+beginning by its disposition to experiment, tried to eat a five-pound
+can of nitroglycerin. This happened right alongside the rock. The
+explosion threw us all to the ground, and covered us with dirt and
+debris; it frightened us extremely, too, for the crash it made was
+deafening, and the violence of the shock made the ground tremble.
+However, we were grateful, for the rock was gone. Its place was occupied
+by a new cellar, about thirty feet across, by fifteen feet deep. The
+explosion was heard as far as Zermatt; and an hour and a half afterward,
+many citizens of that town were knocked down and quite seriously injured
+by descending portions of mule meat, frozen solid. This shows, better
+than any estimate in figures, how high the experimenter went.
+
+
+
+We had nothing to do, now, but bridge the cellar and proceed on our way.
+With a cheer the men went at their work. I attended to the engineering,
+myself. I appointed a strong detail to cut down trees with ice-axes and
+trim them for piers to support the bridge. This was a slow business, for
+ice-axes are not good to cut wood with. I caused my piers to be firmly
+set up in ranks in the cellar, and upon them I laid six of my forty-foot
+ladders, side by side, and laid six more on top of them. Upon this
+bridge I caused a bed of boughs to be spread, and on top of the boughs
+a bed of earth six inches deep. I stretched ropes upon either side to
+serve as railings, and then my bridge was complete. A train of elephants
+could have crossed it in safety and comfort. By nightfall the caravan
+was on the other side and the ladders were taken up.
+
+Next morning we went on in good spirits for a while, though our way
+was slow and difficult, by reason of the steep and rocky nature of the
+ground and the thickness of the forest; but at last a dull despondency
+crept into the men's faces and it was apparent that not only they, but
+even the guides, were now convinced that we were lost. The fact that we
+still met no tourists was a circumstance that was but too significant.
+Another thing seemed to suggest that we were not only lost, but very
+badly lost; for there must surely be searching-parties on the road
+before this time, yet we had seen no sign of them.
+
+Demoralization was spreading; something must be done, and done quickly,
+too. Fortunately, I am not unfertile in expedients. I contrived one
+now which commended itself to all, for it promised well. I took
+three-quarters of a mile of rope and fastened one end of it around the
+waist of a guide, and told him to go find the road, while the caravan
+waited. I instructed him to guide himself back by the rope, in case of
+failure; in case of success, he was to give the rope a series of violent
+jerks, whereupon the Expedition would go to him at once. He departed,
+and in two minutes had disappeared among the trees. I payed out the rope
+myself, while everybody watched the crawling thing with eager eyes.
+The rope crept away quite slowly, at times, at other times with some
+briskness. Twice or thrice we seemed to get the signal, and a shout was
+just ready to break from the men's lips when they perceived it was a
+false alarm. But at last, when over half a mile of rope had slidden
+away, it stopped gliding and stood absolutely still--one minute--two
+minutes--three--while we held our breath and watched.
+
+Was the guide resting? Was he scanning the country from some high point?
+Was he inquiring of a chance mountaineer? Stop,--had he fainted from
+excess of fatigue and anxiety?
+
+This thought gave us a shock. I was in the very first act of detailing
+an Expedition to succor him, when the cord was assailed with a series of
+such frantic jerks that I could hardly keep hold of it. The huzza that
+went up, then, was good to hear. "Saved! saved!" was the word that rang
+out, all down the long rank of the caravan.
+
+
+
+We rose up and started at once. We found the route to be good enough
+for a while, but it began to grow difficult, by and by, and this feature
+steadily increased. When we judged we had gone half a mile, we momently
+expected to see the guide; but no, he was not visible anywhere; neither
+was he waiting, for the rope was still moving, consequently he was
+doing the same. This argued that he had not found the road, yet, but
+was marching to it with some peasant. There was nothing for us to do
+but plod along--and this we did. At the end of three hours we were
+still plodding. This was not only mysterious, but exasperating. And very
+fatiguing, too; for we had tried hard, along at first, to catch up with
+the guide, but had only fagged ourselves, in vain; for although he was
+traveling slowly he was yet able to go faster than the hampered caravan
+over such ground.
+
+At three in the afternoon we were nearly dead with exhaustion--and still
+the rope was slowly gliding out. The murmurs against the guide had been
+growing steadily, and at last they were become loud and savage. A mutiny
+ensued. The men refused to proceed. They declared that we had been
+traveling over and over the same ground all day, in a kind of circle.
+They demanded that our end of the rope be made fast to a tree, so as to
+halt the guide until we could overtake him and kill him. This was not an
+unreasonable requirement, so I gave the order.
+
+As soon as the rope was tied, the Expedition moved forward with that
+alacrity which the thirst for vengeance usually inspires. But after a
+tiresome march of almost half a mile, we came to a hill covered thick
+with a crumbly rubbish of stones, and so steep that no man of us all
+was now in a condition to climb it. Every attempt failed, and ended in
+crippling somebody. Within twenty minutes I had five men on crutches.
+
+
+
+Whenever a climber tried to assist himself by the rope, it yielded and
+let him tumble backward. The frequency of this result suggested an idea
+to me. I ordered the caravan to 'bout face and form in marching order; I
+then made the tow-rope fast to the rear mule, and gave the command:
+
+"Mark time--by the right flank--forward--march!"
+
+
+
+The procession began to move, to the impressive strains of a
+battle-chant, and I said to myself, "Now, if the rope don't break I
+judge THIS will fetch that guide into the camp." I watched the rope
+gliding down the hill, and presently when I was all fixed for triumph
+I was confronted by a bitter disappointment; there was no guide tied to
+the rope, it was only a very indignant old black ram. The fury of the
+baffled Expedition exceeded all bounds. They even wanted to wreak their
+unreasoning vengeance on this innocent dumb brute. But I stood between
+them and their prey, menaced by a bristling wall of ice-axes and
+alpenstocks, and proclaimed that there was but one road to this murder,
+and it was directly over my corpse. Even as I spoke I saw that my doom
+was sealed, except a miracle supervened to divert these madmen from
+their fell purpose. I see the sickening wall of weapons now; I see that
+advancing host as I saw it then, I see the hate in those cruel eyes; I
+remember how I drooped my head upon my breast, I feel again the
+sudden earthquake shock in my rear, administered by the very ram I was
+sacrificing myself to save; I hear once more the typhoon of laughter
+that burst from the assaulting column as I clove it from van to rear
+like a Sepoy shot from a Rodman gun.
+
+
+
+I was saved. Yes, I was saved, and by the merciful instinct of
+ingratitude which nature had planted in the breast of that treacherous
+beast. The grace which eloquence had failed to work in those men's
+hearts, had been wrought by a laugh. The ram was set free and my life
+was spared.
+
+We lived to find out that that guide had deserted us as soon as he had
+placed a half-mile between himself and us. To avert suspicion, he had
+judged it best that the line should continue to move; so he caught that
+ram, and at the time that he was sitting on it making the rope fast to
+it, we were imagining that he was lying in a swoon, overcome by fatigue
+and distress. When he allowed the ram to get up it fell to plunging
+around, trying to rid itself of the rope, and this was the signal which
+we had risen up with glad shouts to obey. We had followed this ram round
+and round in a circle all day--a thing which was proven by the discovery
+that we had watered the Expedition seven times at one and same spring in
+seven hours. As expert a woodman as I am, I had somehow failed to notice
+this until my attention was called to it by a hog. This hog was always
+wallowing there, and as he was the only hog we saw, his frequent
+repetition, together with his unvarying similarity to himself, finally
+caused me to reflect that he must be the same hog, and this led me to
+the deduction that this must be the same spring, also--which indeed it
+was.
+
+I made a note of this curious thing, as showing in a striking manner the
+relative difference between glacial action and the action of the hog.
+It is now a well-established fact that glaciers move; I consider that
+my observations go to show, with equal conclusiveness, that a hog in a
+spring does not move. I shall be glad to receive the opinions of other
+observers upon this point.
+
+To return, for an explanatory moment, to that guide, and then I shall be
+done with him. After leaving the ram tied to the rope, he had wandered
+at large a while, and then happened to run across a cow. Judging that a
+cow would naturally know more than a guide, he took her by the tail,
+and the result justified his judgment. She nibbled her leisurely way
+downhill till it was near milking-time, then she struck for home and
+towed him into Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+[I Conquer the Gorner Grat]
+
+
+We went into camp on that wild spot to which that ram had brought us.
+The men were greatly fatigued. Their conviction that we were lost was
+forgotten in the cheer of a good supper, and before the reaction had a
+chance to set in, I loaded them up with paregoric and put them to bed.
+
+Next morning I was considering in my mind our desperate situation and
+trying to think of a remedy, when Harris came to me with a Baedeker
+map which showed conclusively that the mountain we were on was still in
+Switzerland--yes, every part of it was in Switzerland. So we were not
+lost, after all. This was an immense relief; it lifted the weight of two
+such mountains from my breast. I immediately had the news disseminated
+and the map was exhibited. The effect was wonderful. As soon as the men
+saw with their own eyes that they knew where they were, and that it
+was only the summit that was lost and not themselves, they cheered up
+instantly and said with one accord, let the summit take care of itself.
+
+Our distresses being at an end, I now determined to rest the men in camp
+and give the scientific department of the Expedition a chance. First,
+I made a barometric observation, to get our altitude, but I could not
+perceive that there was any result. I knew, by my scientific reading,
+that either thermometers or barometers ought to be boiled, to make them
+accurate; I did not know which it was, so I boiled them both. There was
+still no result; so I examined these instruments and discovered that
+they possessed radical blemishes: the barometer had no hand but the
+brass pointer and the ball of the thermometer was stuffed with tin-foil.
+I might have boiled those things to rags, and never found out anything.
+
+I hunted up another barometer; it was new and perfect. I boiled it half
+an hour in a pot of bean soup which the cooks were making. The result
+was unexpected: the instrument was not affecting at all, but there was
+such a strong barometer taste to the soup that the head cook, who was
+a most conscientious person, changed its name in the bill of fare.
+The dish was so greatly liked by all, that I ordered the cook to have
+barometer soup every day.
+
+
+
+It was believed that the barometer might eventually be injured, but I
+did not care for that. I had demonstrated to my satisfaction that it
+could not tell how high a mountain was, therefore I had no real use for
+it. Changes in the weather I could take care of without it; I did not
+wish to know when the weather was going to be good, what I wanted to
+know was when it was going to be bad, and this I could find out from
+Harris's corns. Harris had had his corns tested and regulated at the
+government observatory in Heidelberg, and one could depend upon them
+with confidence. So I transferred the new barometer to the cooking
+department, to be used for the official mess. It was found that even a
+pretty fair article of soup could be made from the defective barometer;
+so I allowed that one to be transferred to the subordinate mess.
+
+I next boiled the thermometer, and got a most excellent result; the
+mercury went up to about 200 degrees Fahrenheit. In the opinion of the
+other scientists of the Expedition, this seemed to indicate that we had
+attained the extraordinary altitude of two hundred thousand feet above
+sea-level. Science places the line of eternal snow at about ten thousand
+feet above sea-level. There was no snow where we were, consequently
+it was proven that the eternal snow-line ceases somewhere above the
+ten-thousand-foot level and does not begin any more. This was an
+interesting fact, and one which had not been observed by any observer
+before. It was as valuable as interesting, too, since it would open up
+the deserted summits of the highest Alps to population and agriculture.
+It was a proud thing to be where we were, yet it caused us a pang
+to reflect that but for that ram we might just as well have been two
+hundred thousand feet higher.
+
+The success of my last experiment induced me to try an experiment with
+my photographic apparatus. I got it out, and boiled one of my cameras,
+but the thing was a failure; it made the wood swell up and burst, and I
+could not see that the lenses were any better than they were before.
+
+I now concluded to boil a guide. It might improve him, it could not
+impair his usefulness. But I was not allowed to proceed. Guides have
+no feeling for science, and this one would not consent to be made
+uncomfortable in its interest.
+
+In the midst of my scientific work, one of those needless accidents
+happened which are always occurring among the ignorant and thoughtless.
+A porter shot at a chamois and missed it and crippled the Latinist.
+This was not a serious matter to me, for a Latinist's duties are as well
+performed on crutches as otherwise--but the fact remained that if the
+Latinist had not happened to be in the way a mule would have got that
+load. That would have been quite another matter, for when it comes down
+to a question of value there is a palpable difference between a Latinist
+and a mule. I could not depend on having a Latinist in the right place
+every time; so, to make things safe, I ordered that in the future the
+chamois must not be hunted within limits of the camp with any other
+weapon than the forefinger.
+
+My nerves had hardly grown quiet after this affair when they got another
+shake-up--one which utterly unmanned me for a moment: a rumor swept
+suddenly through the camp that one of the barkeepers had fallen over a
+precipice!
+
+However, it turned out that it was only a chaplain. I had laid in an
+extra force of chaplains, purposely to be prepared for emergencies
+like this, but by some unaccountable oversight had come away rather
+short-handed in the matter of barkeepers.
+
+On the following morning we moved on, well refreshed and in good
+spirits. I remember this day with peculiar pleasure, because it saw
+our road restored to us. Yes, we found our road again, and in quite an
+extraordinary way. We had plodded along some two hours and a half, when
+we came up against a solid mass of rock about twenty feet high. I did
+not need to be instructed by a mule this time. I was already beginning
+to know more than any mule in the Expedition. I at once put in a blast
+of dynamite, and lifted that rock out of the way. But to my surprise and
+mortification, I found that there had been a chalet on top of it.
+
+I picked up such members of the family as fell in my vicinity, and
+subordinates of my corps collected the rest. None of these poor people
+were injured, happily, but they were much annoyed. I explained to
+the head chaleteer just how the thing happened, and that I was only
+searching for the road, and would certainly have given him timely notice
+if I had known he was up there. I said I had meant no harm, and hoped
+I had not lowered myself in his estimation by raising him a few rods in
+the air. I said many other judicious things, and finally when I offered
+to rebuild his chalet, and pay for the breakages, and throw in the
+cellar, he was mollified and satisfied. He hadn't any cellar at all,
+before; he would not have as good a view, now, as formerly, but what he
+had lost in view he had gained in cellar, by exact measurement. He said
+there wasn't another hole like that in the mountains--and he would have
+been right if the late mule had not tried to eat up the nitroglycerin.
+
+I put a hundred and sixteen men at work, and they rebuilt the chalet
+from its own debris in fifteen minutes. It was a good deal more
+picturesque than it was before, too. The man said we were now on the
+Feil-Stutz, above the Schwegmatt--information which I was glad to get,
+since it gave us our position to a degree of particularity which we had
+not been accustomed to for a day or so. We also learned that we were
+standing at the foot of the Riffelberg proper, and that the initial
+chapter of our work was completed.
+
+
+
+We had a fine view, from here, of the energetic Visp, as it makes its
+first plunge into the world from under a huge arch of solid ice, worn
+through the foot-wall of the great Gorner Glacier; and we could also see
+the Furggenbach, which is the outlet of the Furggen Glacier.
+
+The mule-road to the summit of the Riffelberg passed right in front of
+the chalet, a circumstance which we almost immediately noticed, because
+a procession of tourists was filing along it pretty much all the time.
+
+"Pretty much" may not be elegant English, but it is high time it was.
+There is no elegant word or phrase which means just what it means.--M.T.
+
+The chaleteer's business consisted in furnishing refreshments to
+tourists. My blast had interrupted this trade for a few minutes, by
+breaking all the bottles on the place; but I gave the man a lot of
+whiskey to sell for Alpine champagne, and a lot of vinegar which would
+answer for Rhine wine, consequently trade was soon as brisk as ever.
+
+Leaving the Expedition outside to rest, I quartered myself in the
+chalet, with Harris, proposing to correct my journals and scientific
+observations before continuing the ascent. I had hardly begun my work
+when a tall, slender, vigorous American youth of about twenty-three, who
+was on his way down the mountain, entered and came toward me with that
+breezy self-complacency which is the adolescent's idea of the well-bred
+ease of the man of the world. His hair was short and parted accurately
+in the middle, and he had all the look of an American person who would
+be likely to begin his signature with an initial, and spell his middle
+name out. He introduced himself, smiling a smirky smile borrowed from
+the courtiers of the stage, extended a fair-skinned talon, and while he
+gripped my hand in it he bent his body forward three times at the
+hips, as the stage courtier does, and said in the airiest and most
+condescending and patronizing way--I quite remember his exact language:
+
+"Very glad to make your acquaintance, 'm sure; very glad indeed, assure
+you. I've read all your little efforts and greatly admired them, and
+when I heard you were here, I ..."
+
+I indicated a chair, and he sat down. This grandee was the grandson of
+an American of considerable note in his day, and not wholly forgotten
+yet--a man who came so near being a great man that he was quite
+generally accounted one while he lived.
+
+
+
+I slowly paced the floor, pondering scientific problems, and heard this
+conversation:
+
+GRANDSON. First visit to Europe?
+
+HARRIS. Mine? Yes.
+
+G.S. (With a soft reminiscent sigh suggestive of bygone joys that may
+be tasted in their freshness but once.) Ah, I know what it is to you. A
+first visit!--ah, the romance of it! I wish I could feel it again.
+
+H. Yes, I find it exceeds all my dreams. It is enchantment. I go...
+
+G.S. (With a dainty gesture of the hand signifying "Spare me your callow
+enthusiasms, good friend.") Yes, _I_ know, I know; you go to cathedrals,
+and exclaim; and you drag through league-long picture-galleries and
+exclaim; and you stand here, and there, and yonder, upon historic
+ground, and continue to exclaim; and you are permeated with your first
+crude conceptions of Art, and are proud and happy. Ah, yes, proud and
+happy--that expresses it. Yes-yes, enjoy it--it is right--it is an
+innocent revel.
+
+H. And you? Don't you do these things now?
+
+G.S. I! Oh, that is VERY good! My dear sir, when you are as old a
+traveler as I am, you will not ask such a question as that. _I_ visit
+the regulation gallery, moon around the regulation cathedral, do the
+worn round of the regulation sights, YET?--Excuse me!
+
+H. Well, what DO you do, then?
+
+G.S. Do? I flit--and flit--for I am ever on the wing--but I avoid the
+herd. Today I am in Paris, tomorrow in Berlin, anon in Rome; but you
+would look for me in vain in the galleries of the Louvre or the common
+resorts of the gazers in those other capitals. If you would find me, you
+must look in the unvisited nooks and corners where others never think
+of going. One day you will find me making myself at home in some obscure
+peasant's cabin, another day you will find me in some forgotten castle
+worshiping some little gem or art which the careless eye has overlooked
+and which the unexperienced would despise; again you will find me as
+guest in the inner sanctuaries of palaces while the herd is content to
+get a hurried glimpse of the unused chambers by feeing a servant.
+
+H. You are a GUEST in such places?
+
+G.S. And a welcoming one.
+
+H. It is surprising. How does it come?
+
+G.S. My grandfather's name is a passport to all the courts in Europe. I
+have only to utter that name and every door is open to me. I flit from
+court to court at my own free will and pleasure, and am always welcome.
+I am as much at home in the palaces of Europe as you are among your
+relatives. I know every titled person in Europe, I think. I have my
+pockets full of invitations all the time. I am under promise to go to
+Italy, where I am to be the guest of a succession of the noblest houses
+in the land. In Berlin my life is a continued round of gaiety in the
+imperial palace. It is the same, wherever I go.
+
+H. It must be very pleasant. But it must make Boston seem a little slow
+when you are at home.
+
+G.S. Yes, of course it does. But I don't go home much. There's no life
+there--little to feed a man's higher nature. Boston's very narrow, you
+know. She doesn't know it, and you couldn't convince her of it--so I say
+nothing when I'm there: where's the use? Yes, Boston is very narrow, but
+she has such a good opinion of herself that she can't see it. A man who
+has traveled as much as I have, and seen as much of the world, sees it
+plain enough, but he can't cure it, you know, so the best is to leave it
+and seek a sphere which is more in harmony with his tastes and culture.
+I run across there, once a year, perhaps, when I have nothing important
+on hand, but I'm very soon back again. I spend my time in Europe.
+
+H. I see. You map out your plans and ...
+
+G.S. No, excuse me. I don't map out any plans. I simply follow the
+inclination of the day. I am limited by no ties, no requirements, I
+am not bound in any way. I am too old a traveler to hamper myself with
+deliberate purposes. I am simply a traveler--an inveterate traveler--a
+man of the world, in a word--I can call myself by no other name. I do
+not say, "I am going here, or I am going there"--I say nothing at all, I
+only act. For instance, next week you may find me the guest of a grandee
+of Spain, or you may find me off for Venice, or flitting toward Dresden.
+I shall probably go to Egypt presently; friends will say to friends,
+"He is at the Nile cataracts"--and at that very moment they will be
+surprised to learn that I'm away off yonder in India somewhere. I am
+a constant surprise to people. They are always saying, "Yes, he was
+in Jerusalem when we heard of him last, but goodness knows where he is
+now."
+
+Presently the Grandson rose to leave--discovered he had an appointment
+with some Emperor, perhaps. He did his graces over again: gripped me
+with one talon, at arm's-length, pressed his hat against his stomach
+with the other, bent his body in the middle three times, murmuring:
+
+"Pleasure, 'm sure; great pleasure, 'm sure. Wish you much success."
+
+Then he removed his gracious presence. It is a great and solemn thing to
+have a grandfather.
+
+I have not purposed to misrepresent this boy in any way, for what little
+indignation he excited in me soon passed and left nothing behind it but
+compassion. One cannot keep up a grudge against a vacuum. I have tried
+to repeat this lad's very words; if I have failed anywhere I have at
+least not failed to reproduce the marrow and meaning of what he said.
+He and the innocent chatterbox whom I met on the Swiss lake are the most
+unique and interesting specimens of Young America I came across
+during my foreign tramping. I have made honest portraits of them, not
+caricatures.
+
+
+
+The Grandson of twenty-three referred to himself five or six times as
+an "old traveler," and as many as three times (with a serene complacency
+which was maddening) as a "man of the world." There was something very
+delicious about his leaving Boston to her "narrowness," unreproved and
+uninstructed.
+
+I formed the caravan in marching order, presently, and after riding down
+the line to see that it was properly roped together, gave the command to
+proceed. In a little while the road carried us to open, grassy land. We
+were above the troublesome forest, now, and had an uninterrupted view,
+straight before us, of our summit--the summit of the Riffelberg.
+
+We followed the mule-road, a zigzag course, now to the right, now to
+the left, but always up, and always crowded and incommoded by going and
+coming files of reckless tourists who were never, in a single instance,
+tied together. I was obliged to exert the utmost care and caution, for
+in many places the road was not two yards wide, and often the lower side
+of it sloped away in slanting precipices eight and even nine feet deep.
+I had to encourage the men constantly, to keep them from giving way to
+their unmanly fears.
+
+We might have made the summit before night, but for a delay caused by
+the loss of an umbrella. I was allowing the umbrella to remain lost, but
+the men murmured, and with reason, for in this exposed region we stood
+in peculiar need of protection against avalanches; so I went into camp
+and detached a strong party to go after the missing article.
+
+The difficulties of the next morning were severe, but our courage
+was high, for our goal was near. At noon we conquered the last
+impediment--we stood at last upon the summit, and without the loss of a
+single man except the mule that ate the glycerin. Our great achievement
+was achieved--the possibility of the impossible was demonstrated, and
+Harris and I walked proudly into the great dining-room of the Riffelberg
+Hotel and stood our alpenstocks up in the corner.
+
+Yes, I had made the grand ascent; but it was a mistake to do it in
+evening dress. The plug hats were battered, the swallow-tails were
+fluttering rags, mud added no grace, the general effect was unpleasant
+and even disreputable.
+
+
+
+There were about seventy-five tourists at the hotel--mainly ladies and
+little children--and they gave us an admiring welcome which paid us for
+all our privations and sufferings. The ascent had been made, and the
+names and dates now stand recorded on a stone monument there to prove it
+to all future tourists.
+
+I boiled a thermometer and took an altitude, with a most curious result:
+THE SUMMIT WAS NOT AS HIGH AS THE POINT ON THE MOUNTAINSIDE WHERE I
+HAD TAKEN THE FIRST ALTITUDE. Suspecting that I had made an important
+discovery, I prepared to verify it. There happened to be a still higher
+summit (called the Gorner Grat), above the hotel, and notwithstanding
+the fact that it overlooks a glacier from a dizzy height, and that the
+ascent is difficult and dangerous, I resolved to venture up there and
+boil a thermometer. So I sent a strong party, with some borrowed hoes,
+in charge of two chiefs of service, to dig a stairway in the soil all
+the way up, and this I ascended, roped to the guides. This breezy height
+was the summit proper--so I accomplished even more than I had originally
+purposed to do. This foolhardy exploit is recorded on another stone
+monument.
+
+
+
+I boiled my thermometer, and sure enough, this spot, which purported to
+be two thousand feet higher than the locality of the hotel, turned out
+to be nine thousand feet LOWER. Thus the fact was clearly demonstrated
+that, ABOVE A CERTAIN POINT, THE HIGHER A POINT SEEMS TO BE, THE LOWER
+IT ACTUALLY IS. Our ascent itself was a great achievement, but this
+contribution to science was an inconceivably greater matter.
+
+Cavilers object that water boils at a lower and lower temperature the
+higher and higher you go, and hence the apparent anomaly. I answer that
+I do not base my theory upon what the boiling water does, but upon what
+a boiled thermometer says. You can't go behind the thermometer.
+
+I had a magnificent view of Monte Rosa, and apparently all the rest of
+the Alpine world, from that high place. All the circling horizon was
+piled high with a mighty tumult of snowy crests. One might have
+imagined he saw before him the tented camps of a beleaguering host of
+Brobdingnagians.
+
+
+
+NOTE.--I had the very unusual luck to catch one little momentary glimpse
+of the Matterhorn wholly unencumbered by clouds. I leveled my
+photographic apparatus at it without the loss of an instant, and should
+have got an elegant picture if my donkey had not interfered. It was my
+purpose to draw this photograph all by myself for my book, but was
+obliged to put the mountain part of it into the hands of the
+professional artist because I found I could not do landscape well.
+
+But lonely, conspicuous, and superb, rose that wonderful upright wedge,
+the Matterhorn. Its precipitous sides were powdered over with snow, and
+the upper half hidden in thick clouds which now and then dissolved to
+cobweb films and gave brief glimpses of the imposing tower as through a
+veil. A little later the Matterhorn took to himself the semblance of
+a volcano; he was stripped naked to his apex--around this circled
+vast wreaths of white cloud which strung slowly out and streamed away
+slantwise toward the sun, a twenty-mile stretch of rolling and tumbling
+vapor, and looking just as if it were pouring out of a crater. Later
+again, one of the mountain's sides was clean and clear, and another
+side densely clothed from base to summit in thick smokelike cloud which
+feathered off and flew around the shaft's sharp edge like the smoke
+around the corners of a burning building. The Matterhorn is always
+experimenting, and always gets up fine effects, too. In the sunset, when
+all the lower world is palled in gloom, it points toward heaven out of
+the pervading blackness like a finger of fire. In the sunrise--well,
+they say it is very fine in the sunrise.
+
+Authorities agree that there is no such tremendous "layout" of snowy
+Alpine magnitude, grandeur, and sublimity to be seen from any other
+accessible point as the tourist may see from the summit of the
+Riffelberg. Therefore, let the tourist rope himself up and go there; for
+I have shown that with nerve, caution, and judgment, the thing can be
+done.
+
+I wish to add one remark, here--in parentheses, so to speak--suggested
+by the word "snowy," which I have just used. We have all seen hills and
+mountains and levels with snow on them, and so we think we know all the
+aspects and effects produced by snow. But indeed we do not until we have
+seen the Alps. Possibly mass and distance add something--at any rate,
+something IS added. Among other noticeable things, there is a dazzling,
+intense whiteness about the distant Alpine snow, when the sun is on it,
+which one recognizes as peculiar, and not familiar to the eye. The snow
+which one is accustomed to has a tint to it--painters usually give it a
+bluish cast--but there is no perceptible tint to the distant Alpine snow
+when it is trying to look its whitest. As to the unimaginable
+splendor of it when the sun is blazing down on it--well, it simply IS
+unimaginable.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+[We Travel by Glacier]
+
+
+A guide-book is a queer thing. The reader has just seen what a man who
+undertakes the great ascent from Zermatt to the Riffelberg Hotel must
+experience. Yet Baedeker makes these strange statements concerning this
+matter:
+
+   1. Distance--3 hours.
+   2. The road cannot be mistaken.
+   3. Guide unnecessary.
+   4. Distance from Riffelberg Hotel to the Gorner Grat, one hour and a half.
+   5. Ascent simple and easy. Guide unnecessary.
+   6. Elevation of Zermatt above sea-level, 5,315 feet.
+   7. Elevation of Riffelberg Hotel above sea-level, 8,429 feet.
+   8. Elevation of the Gorner Grat above sea-level, 10,289 feet.
+
+I have pretty effectually throttled these errors by sending him the
+following demonstrated facts:
+
+   1. Distance from Zermatt to Riffelberg Hotel, 7 days.
+   2. The road CAN be mistaken. If I am the first that did it, I want the credit
+      of it, too.
+   3. Guides ARE necessary, for none but a native can read those finger-boards.
+   4. The estimate of the elevation of the several localities above sea-level
+      is pretty correct--for Baedeker. He only misses it about a hundred and
+      eighty or ninety thousand feet.
+
+I found my arnica invaluable. My men were suffering excruciatingly, from
+the friction of sitting down so much. During two or three days, not
+one of them was able to do more than lie down or walk about; yet so
+effective was the arnica, that on the fourth all were able to sit up.
+I consider that, more than to anything else, I owe the success of our
+great undertaking to arnica and paregoric.
+
+My men are being restored to health and strength, my main perplexity,
+now, was how to get them down the mountain again. I was not willing to
+expose the brave fellows to the perils, fatigues, and hardships of that
+fearful route again if it could be helped. First I thought of balloons;
+but, of course, I had to give that idea up, for balloons were
+not procurable. I thought of several other expedients, but upon
+consideration discarded them, for cause. But at last I hit it. I was
+aware that the movement of glaciers is an established fact, for I had
+read it in Baedeker; so I resolved to take passage for Zermatt on the
+great Gorner Glacier.
+
+Very good. The next thing was, how to get down the glacier
+comfortably--for the mule-road to it was long, and winding, and
+wearisome. I set my mind at work, and soon thought out a plan. One looks
+straight down upon the vast frozen river called the Gorner Glacier, from
+the Gorner Grat, a sheer precipice twelve hundred feet high. We had
+one hundred and fifty-four umbrellas--and what is an umbrella but a
+parachute?
+
+I mentioned this noble idea to Harris, with enthusiasm, and was about to
+order the Expedition to form on the Gorner Grat, with their umbrellas,
+and prepare for flight by platoons, each platoon in command of a guide,
+when Harris stopped me and urged me not to be too hasty. He asked me if
+this method of descending the Alps had ever been tried before. I said
+no, I had not heard of an instance. Then, in his opinion, it was a
+matter of considerable gravity; in his opinion it would not be well to
+send the whole command over the cliff at once; a better way would be to
+send down a single individual, first, and see how he fared.
+
+I saw the wisdom in this idea instantly. I said as much, and thanked
+my agent cordially, and told him to take his umbrella and try the thing
+right away, and wave his hat when he got down, if he struck in a soft
+place, and then I would ship the rest right along.
+
+Harris was greatly touched with this mark of confidence, and said so,
+in a voice that had a perceptible tremble in it; but at the same time he
+said he did not feel himself worthy of so conspicuous a favor; that it
+might cause jealousy in the command, for there were plenty who would not
+hesitate to say he had used underhanded means to get the appointment,
+whereas his conscience would bear him witness that he had not sought it
+at all, nor even, in his secret heart, desired it.
+
+I said these words did him extreme credit, but that he must not throw
+away the imperishable distinction of being the first man to descend
+an Alp per parachute, simply to save the feelings of some envious
+underlings. No, I said, he MUST accept the appointment--it was no longer
+an invitation, it was a command.
+
+He thanked me with effusion, and said that putting the thing in this
+form removed every objection. He retired, and soon returned with his
+umbrella, his eye flaming with gratitude and his cheeks pallid with joy.
+Just then the head guide passed along. Harris's expression changed to
+one of infinite tenderness, and he said:
+
+"That man did me a cruel injury four days ago, and I said in my heart
+he should live to perceive and confess that the only noble revenge a
+man can take upon his enemy is to return good for evil. I resign in his
+favor. Appoint him."
+
+I threw my arms around the generous fellow and said:
+
+"Harris, you are the noblest soul that lives. You shall not regret this
+sublime act, neither shall the world fail to know of it. You shall have
+opportunity far transcending this one, too, if I live--remember that."
+
+I called the head guide to me and appointed him on the spot. But the
+thing aroused no enthusiasm in him. He did not take to the idea at all.
+
+He said:
+
+"Tie myself to an umbrella and jump over the Gorner Grat! Excuse me,
+there are a great many pleasanter roads to the devil than that."
+
+
+
+Upon a discussion of the subject with him, it appeared that he
+considered the project distinctly and decidedly dangerous. I was not
+convinced, yet I was not willing to try the experiment in any risky
+way--that is, in a way that might cripple the strength and efficiency
+of the Expedition. I was about at my wits' end when it occurred to me to
+try it on the Latinist.
+
+He was called in. But he declined, on the plea of inexperience,
+diffidence in public, lack of curiosity, and I didn't know what all.
+Another man declined on account of a cold in the head; thought he
+ought to avoid exposure. Another could not jump well--never COULD jump
+well--did not believe he could jump so far without long and patient
+practice. Another was afraid it was going to rain, and his umbrella had
+a hole in it. Everybody had an excuse. The result was what the reader
+has by this time guessed: the most magnificent idea that was ever
+conceived had to be abandoned, from sheer lack of a person with
+enterprise enough to carry it out. Yes, I actually had to give that
+thing up--while doubtless I should live to see somebody use it and take
+all the credit from me.
+
+Well, I had to go overland--there was no other way. I marched the
+Expedition down the steep and tedious mule-path and took up as good a
+position as I could upon the middle of the glacier--because Baedeker
+said the middle part travels the fastest. As a measure of economy,
+however, I put some of the heavier baggage on the shoreward parts, to go
+as slow freight.
+
+I waited and waited, but the glacier did not move. Night was coming on,
+the darkness began to gather--still we did not budge. It occurred to me
+then, that there might be a time-table in Baedeker; it would be well to
+find out the hours of starting. I called for the book--it could not be
+found. Bradshaw would certainly contain a time-table; but no Bradshaw
+could be found.
+
+Very well, I must make the best of the situation. So I pitched the
+tents, picketed the animals, milked the cows, had supper, paregoricked
+the men, established the watch, and went to bed--with orders to call me
+as soon as we came in sight of Zermatt.
+
+I awoke about half past ten next morning, and looked around. We hadn't
+budged a peg! At first I could not understand it; then it occurred to me
+that the old thing must be aground. So I cut down some trees and rigged
+a spar on the starboard and another on the port side, and fooled away
+upward of three hours trying to spar her off. But it was no use. She
+was half a mile wide and fifteen or twenty miles long, and there was
+no telling just whereabouts she WAS aground. The men began to show
+uneasiness, too, and presently they came flying to me with ashy faces,
+saying she had sprung a leak.
+
+
+
+Nothing but my cool behavior at this critical time saved us from another
+panic. I ordered them to show me the place. They led me to a spot where
+a huge boulder lay in a deep pool of clear and brilliant water. It did
+look like a pretty bad leak, but I kept that to myself. I made a pump
+and set the men to work to pump out the glacier. We made a success of
+it. I perceived, then, that it was not a leak at all. This boulder had
+descended from a precipice and stopped on the ice in the middle of the
+glacier, and the sun had warmed it up, every day, and consequently it
+had melted its way deeper and deeper into the ice, until at last it
+reposed, as we had found it, in a deep pool of the clearest and coldest
+water.
+
+Presently Baedeker was found again, and I hunted eagerly for the
+time-table. There was none. The book simply said the glacier was moving
+all the time. This was satisfactory, so I shut up the book and chose a
+good position to view the scenery as we passed along. I stood there some
+time enjoying the trip, but at last it occurred to me that we did
+not seem to be gaining any on the scenery. I said to myself, "This
+confounded old thing's aground again, sure,"--and opened Baedeker to
+see if I could run across any remedy for these annoying interruptions.
+I soon found a sentence which threw a dazzling light upon the matter.
+It said, "The Gorner Glacier travels at an average rate of a little less
+than an inch a day." I have seldom felt so outraged. I have seldom had
+my confidence so wantonly betrayed. I made a small calculation: One inch
+a day, say thirty feet a year; estimated distance to Zermatt, three and
+one-eighteenth miles. Time required to go by glacier, A LITTLE OVER FIVE
+HUNDRED YEARS! I said to myself, "I can WALK it quicker--and before I
+will patronize such a fraud as this, I will do it."
+
+When I revealed to Harris the fact that the passenger part of this
+glacier--the central part--the lightning-express part, so to speak--was
+not due in Zermatt till the summer of 2378, and that the baggage, coming
+along the slow edge, would not arrive until some generations later, he
+burst out with:
+
+"That is European management, all over! An inch a day--think of that!
+Five hundred years to go a trifle over three miles! But I am not a bit
+surprised. It's a Catholic glacier. You can tell by the look of it. And
+the management."
+
+I said, no, I believed nothing but the extreme end of it was in a
+Catholic canton.
+
+"Well, then, it's a government glacier," said Harris. "It's all the
+same. Over here the government runs everything--so everything's slow;
+slow, and ill-managed. But with us, everything's done by private
+enterprise--and then there ain't much lolling around, you can depend
+on it. I wish Tom Scott could get his hands on this torpid old slab
+once--you'd see it take a different gait from this."
+
+I said I was sure he would increase the speed, if there was trade enough
+to justify it.
+
+"He'd MAKE trade," said Harris. "That's the difference between
+governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do. Tom
+Scott would take all the trade; in two years Gorner stock would go to
+two hundred, and inside of two more you would see all the other glaciers
+under the hammer for taxes." After a reflective pause, Harris added, "A
+little less than an inch a day; a little less than an INCH, mind you.
+Well, I'm losing my reverence for glaciers."
+
+I was feeling much the same way myself. I have traveled by canal-boat,
+ox-wagon, raft, and by the Ephesus and Smyrna railway; but when it comes
+down to good solid honest slow motion, I bet my money on the glacier. As
+a means of passenger transportation, I consider the glacier a failure;
+but as a vehicle of slow freight, I think she fills the bill. In the
+matter of putting the fine shades on that line of business, I judge she
+could teach the Germans something.
+
+I ordered the men to break camp and prepare for the land journey to
+Zermatt. At this moment a most interesting find was made; a dark object,
+bedded in the glacial ice, was cut out with the ice-axes, and it proved
+to be a piece of the undressed skin of some animal--a hair trunk,
+perhaps; but a close inspection disabled the hair-trunk theory, and
+further discussion and examination exploded it entirely--that is, in the
+opinion of all the scientists except the one who had advanced it. This
+one clung to his theory with affectionate fidelity characteristic of
+originators of scientific theories, and afterward won many of the first
+scientists of the age to his view, by a very able pamphlet which he
+wrote, entitled, "Evidences going to show that the hair trunk, in a wild
+state, belonged to the early glacial period, and roamed the wastes of
+chaos in the company with the cave-bear, primeval man, and the other
+Ooelitics of the Old Silurian family."
+
+
+
+Each of our scientists had a theory of his own, and put forward
+an animal of his own as a candidate for the skin. I sided with the
+geologist of the Expedition in the belief that this patch of skin had
+once helped to cover a Siberian elephant, in some old forgotten age--but
+we divided there, the geologist believing that this discovery proved
+that Siberia had formerly been located where Switzerland is now, whereas
+I held the opinion that it merely proved that the primeval Swiss was not
+the dull savage he is represented to have been, but was a being of high
+intellectual development, who liked to go to the menagerie.
+
+We arrived that evening, after many hardships and adventures, in some
+fields close to the great ice-arch where the mad Visp boils and surges
+out from under the foot of the great Gorner Glacier, and here we camped,
+our perils over and our magnificent undertaking successfully completed.
+We marched into Zermatt the next day, and were received with the
+most lavish honors and applause. A document, signed and sealed by the
+authorities, was given to me which established and endorsed the fact
+that I had made the ascent of the Riffelberg. This I wear around my
+neck, and it will be buried with me when I am no more.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+[Piteous Relics at Chamonix]
+
+
+I am not so ignorant about glacial movement, now, as I was when I took
+passage on the Gorner Glacier. I have "read up" since. I am aware that
+these vast bodies of ice do not travel at the same rate of speed; while
+the Gorner Glacier makes less than an inch a day, the Unter-Aar Glacier
+makes as much as eight; and still other glaciers are said to go twelve,
+sixteen, and even twenty inches a day. One writer says that the slowest
+glacier travels twenty-five feet a year, and the fastest four hundred.
+
+What is a glacier? It is easy to say it looks like a frozen river which
+occupies the bed of a winding gorge or gully between mountains. But that
+gives no notion of its vastness. For it is sometimes six hundred feet
+thick, and we are not accustomed to rivers six hundred feet deep; no,
+our rivers are six feet, twenty feet, and sometimes fifty feet deep; we
+are not quite able to grasp so large a fact as an ice-river six hundred
+feet deep.
+
+The glacier's surface is not smooth and level, but has deep swales and
+swelling elevations, and sometimes has the look of a tossing sea whose
+turbulent billows were frozen hard in the instant of their most violent
+motion; the glacier's surface is not a flawless mass, but is a river
+with cracks or crevices, some narrow, some gaping wide. Many a man, the
+victim of a slip or a misstep, has plunged down one of these and met his
+death. Men have been fished out of them alive; but it was when they
+did not go to a great depth; the cold of the great depths would quickly
+stupefy a man, whether he was hurt or unhurt. These cracks do not go
+straight down; one can seldom see more than twenty to forty feet down
+them; consequently men who have disappeared in them have been sought
+for, in the hope that they had stopped within helping distance, whereas
+their case, in most instances, had really been hopeless from the
+beginning.
+
+In 1864 a party of tourists was descending Mont Blanc, and while picking
+their way over one of the mighty glaciers of that lofty region, roped
+together, as was proper, a young porter disengaged himself from the line
+and started across an ice-bridge which spanned a crevice. It broke under
+him with a crash, and he disappeared. The others could not see how deep
+he had gone, so it might be worthwhile to try and rescue him. A brave
+young guide named Michel Payot volunteered.
+
+Two ropes were made fast to his leather belt and he bore the end of a
+third one in his hand to tie to the victim in case he found him. He was
+lowered into the crevice, he descended deeper and deeper between the
+clear blue walls of solid ice, he approached a bend in the crack and
+disappeared under it. Down, and still down, he went, into this profound
+grave; when he had reached a depth of eighty feet he passed under
+another bend in the crack, and thence descended eighty feet lower, as
+between perpendicular precipices. Arrived at this stage of one hundred
+and sixty feet below the surface of the glacier, he peered through the
+twilight dimness and perceived that the chasm took another turn and
+stretched away at a steep slant to unknown deeps, for its course was
+lost in darkness. What a place that was to be in--especially if that
+leather belt should break! The compression of the belt threatened to
+suffocate the intrepid fellow; he called to his friends to draw him up,
+but could not make them hear. They still lowered him, deeper and deeper.
+Then he jerked his third cord as vigorously as he could; his friends
+understood, and dragged him out of those icy jaws of death.
+
+Then they attached a bottle to a cord and sent it down two hundred feet,
+but it found no bottom. It came up covered with congelations--evidence
+enough that even if the poor porter reached the bottom with unbroken
+bones, a swift death from cold was sure, anyway.
+
+A glacier is a stupendous, ever-progressing, resistless plow. It pushes
+ahead of it masses of boulders which are packed together, and they
+stretch across the gorge, right in front of it, like a long grave or a
+long, sharp roof. This is called a moraine. It also shoves out a moraine
+along each side of its course.
+
+
+
+Imposing as the modern glaciers are, they are not so huge as were some
+that once existed. For instance, Mr. Whymper says:
+
+"At some very remote period the Valley of Aosta was occupied by a vast
+glacier, which flowed down its entire length from Mont Blanc to the
+plain of Piedmont, remained stationary, or nearly so, at its mouth
+for many centuries, and deposited there enormous masses of debris. The
+length of this glacier exceeded EIGHTY MILES, and it drained a basin
+twenty-five to thirty-five miles across, bounded by the highest
+mountains in the Alps.
+
+
+
+"The great peaks rose several thousand feet above the glaciers, and
+then, as now, shattered by sun and frost, poured down their showers of
+rocks and stones, in witness of which there are the immense piles of
+angular fragments that constitute the moraines of Ivrea.
+
+"The moraines around Ivrea are of extraordinary dimensions. That which
+was on the left bank of the glacier is about THIRTEEN MILES long, and
+in some places rises to a height of TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY
+FEET above the floor of the valley! The terminal moraines (those which
+are pushed in front of the glaciers) cover something like twenty square
+miles of country. At the mouth of the Valley of Aosta, the thickness of
+the glacier must have been at least TWO THOUSAND feet, and its width, at
+that part, FIVE MILES AND A QUARTER."
+
+
+
+It is not easy to get at a comprehension of a mass of ice like that. If
+one could cleave off the butt end of such a glacier--an oblong block
+two or three miles wide by five and a quarter long and two thousand
+feet thick--he could completely hide the city of New York under it,
+and Trinity steeple would only stick up into it relatively as far as a
+shingle-nail would stick up into the bottom of a Saratoga trunk.
+
+"The boulders from Mont Blanc, upon the plain below Ivrea, assure us
+that the glacier which transported them existed for a prodigious length
+of time. Their present distance from the cliffs from which they were
+derived is about 420,000 feet, and if we assume that they traveled at
+the rate of 400 feet per annum, their journey must have occupied them no
+less than 1,055 years! In all probability they did not travel so fast."
+
+
+
+Glaciers are sometimes hurried out of their characteristic snail-pace.
+A marvelous spectacle is presented then. Mr. Whymper refers to a case
+which occurred in Iceland in 1721:
+
+"It seems that in the neighborhood of the mountain Kotlugja, large
+bodies of water formed underneath, or within the glaciers (either on
+account of the interior heat of the earth, or from other causes), and at
+length acquired irresistible power, tore the glaciers from their mooring
+on the land, and swept them over every obstacle into the sea. Prodigious
+masses of ice were thus borne for a distance of about ten miles over
+land in the space of a few hours; and their bulk was so enormous that
+they covered the sea for seven miles from the shore, and remained
+aground in six hundred feet of water! The denudation of the land was
+upon a grand scale. All superficial accumulations were swept away, and
+the bedrock was exposed. It was described, in graphic language, how all
+irregularities and depressions were obliterated, and a smooth surface of
+several miles' area laid bare, and that this area had the appearance of
+having been PLANED BY A PLANE."
+
+The account translated from the Icelandic says that the mountainlike
+ruins of this majestic glacier so covered the sea that as far as the eye
+could reach no open water was discoverable, even from the highest peaks.
+A monster wall or barrier of ice was built across a considerable stretch
+of land, too, by this strange irruption:
+
+"One can form some idea of the altitude of this barrier of ice when it
+is mentioned that from Hofdabrekka farm, which lies high up on a fjeld,
+one could not see Hjorleifshofdi opposite, which is a fell six hundred
+and forty feet in height; but in order to do so had to clamber up a
+mountain slope east of Hofdabrekka twelve hundred feet high."
+
+These things will help the reader to understand why it is that a man who
+keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by
+and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of
+conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will
+only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough
+to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
+
+The Alpine glaciers move--that is granted, now, by everybody. But there
+was a time when people scoffed at the idea; they said you might as well
+expect leagues of solid rock to crawl along the ground as expect leagues
+of ice to do it. But proof after proof was furnished, and the finally
+the world had to believe.
+
+The wise men not only said the glacier moved, but they timed its
+movement. They ciphered out a glacier's gait, and then said confidently
+that it would travel just so far in so many years. There is record of
+a striking and curious example of the accuracy which may be attained in
+these reckonings.
+
+In 1820 the ascent of Mont Blanc was attempted by a Russian and two
+Englishmen, with seven guides. They had reached a prodigious altitude,
+and were approaching the summit, when an avalanche swept several of the
+party down a sharp slope of two hundred feet and hurled five of them
+(all guides) into one of the crevices of a glacier. The life of one
+of the five was saved by a long barometer which was strapped to his
+back--it bridged the crevice and suspended him until help came. The
+alpenstock or baton of another saved its owner in a similar way. Three
+men were lost--Pierre Balmat, Pierre Carrier, and Auguste Tairraz. They
+had been hurled down into the fathomless great deeps of the crevice.
+
+Dr. Forbes, the English geologist, had made frequent visits to the Mont
+Blanc region, and had given much attention to the disputed question of
+the movement of glaciers. During one of these visits he completed his
+estimates of the rate of movement of the glacier which had swallowed
+up the three guides, and uttered the prediction that the glacier would
+deliver up its dead at the foot of the mountain thirty-five years from
+the time of the accident, or possibly forty.
+
+A dull, slow journey--a movement imperceptible to any eye--but it was
+proceeding, nevertheless, and without cessation. It was a journey
+which a rolling stone would make in a few seconds--the lofty point of
+departure was visible from the village below in the valley.
+
+The prediction cut curiously close to the truth; forty-one years after
+the catastrophe, the remains were cast forth at the foot of the glacier.
+
+I find an interesting account of the matter in the HISTOIRE DU MONT
+BLANC, by Stephen d'Arve. I will condense this account, as follows:
+
+On the 12th of August, 1861, at the hour of the close of mass, a guide
+arrived out of breath at the mairie of Chamonix, and bearing on his
+shoulders a very lugubrious burden. It was a sack filled with human
+remains which he had gathered from the orifice of a crevice in the
+Glacier des Bossons. He conjectured that these were remains of the
+victims of the catastrophe of 1820, and a minute inquest, immediately
+instituted by the local authorities, soon demonstrated the correctness
+of his supposition. The contents of the sack were spread upon a long
+table, and officially inventoried, as follows:
+
+Portions of three human skulls. Several tufts of black and blonde hair.
+A human jaw, furnished with fine white teeth. A forearm and hand, all
+the fingers of the latter intact. The flesh was white and fresh,
+and both the arm and hand preserved a degree of flexibility in the
+articulations.
+
+The ring-finger had suffered a slight abrasion, and the stain of the
+blood was still visible and unchanged after forty-one years. A left
+foot, the flesh white and fresh.
+
+Along with these fragments were portions of waistcoats, hats, hobnailed
+shoes, and other clothing; a wing of a pigeon, with black feathers; a
+fragment of an alpenstock; a tin lantern; and lastly, a boiled leg of
+mutton, the only flesh among all the remains that exhaled an unpleasant
+odor. The guide said that the mutton had no odor when he took it from
+the glacier; an hour's exposure to the sun had already begun the work of
+decomposition upon it.
+
+Persons were called for, to identify these poor pathetic relics, and a
+touching scene ensued. Two men were still living who had witnessed the
+grim catastrophe of nearly half a century before--Marie Couttet (saved
+by his baton) and Julien Davouassoux (saved by the barometer). These
+aged men entered and approached the table. Davouassoux, more than eighty
+years old, contemplated the mournful remains mutely and with a vacant
+eye, for his intelligence and his memory were torpid with age; but
+Couttet's faculties were still perfect at seventy-two, and he exhibited
+strong emotion. He said:
+
+"Pierre Balmat was fair; he wore a straw hat. This bit of skull, with
+the tuft of blond hair, was his; this is his hat. Pierre Carrier was
+very dark; this skull was his, and this felt hat. This is Balmat's
+hand, I remember it so well!" and the old man bent down and kissed it
+reverently, then closed his fingers upon it in an affectionate grasp,
+crying out, "I could never have dared to believe that before quitting
+this world it would be granted me to press once more the hand of one of
+those brave comrades, the hand of my good friend Balmat."
+
+
+
+There is something weirdly pathetic about the picture of that
+white-haired veteran greeting with his loving handshake this friend
+who had been dead forty years. When these hands had met last, they were
+alike in the softness and freshness of youth; now, one was brown and
+wrinkled and horny with age, while the other was still as young and fair
+and blemishless as if those forty years had come and gone in a single
+moment, leaving no mark of their passage. Time had gone on, in the one
+case; it had stood still in the other. A man who has not seen a friend
+for a generation, keeps him in mind always as he saw him last, and is
+somehow surprised, and is also shocked, to see the aging change the
+years have wrought when he sees him again. Marie Couttet's experience,
+in finding his friend's hand unaltered from the image of it which he
+had carried in his memory for forty years, is an experience which stands
+alone in the history of man, perhaps.
+
+Couttet identified other relics:
+
+"This hat belonged to Auguste Tairraz. He carried the cage of pigeons
+which we proposed to set free upon the summit. Here is the wing of one
+of those pigeons. And here is the fragment of my broken baton; it was by
+grace of that baton that my life was saved. Who could have told me that
+I should one day have the satisfaction to look again upon this bit of
+wood that supported me above the grave that swallowed up my unfortunate
+companions!"
+
+No portions of the body of Tairraz, other than a piece of the skull,
+had been found. A diligent search was made, but without result. However,
+another search was instituted a year later, and this had better success.
+Many fragments of clothing which had belonged to the lost guides were
+discovered; also, part of a lantern, and a green veil with blood-stains
+on it. But the interesting feature was this:
+
+One of the searchers came suddenly upon a sleeved arm projecting from
+a crevice in the ice-wall, with the hand outstretched as if offering
+greeting! "The nails of this white hand were still rosy, and the pose
+of the extended fingers seemed to express an eloquent welcome to the
+long-lost light of day."
+
+The hand and arm were alone; there was no trunk. After being removed
+from the ice the flesh-tints quickly faded out and the rosy nails took
+on the alabaster hue of death. This was the third RIGHT hand found;
+therefore, all three of the lost men were accounted for, beyond cavil or
+question.
+
+Dr. Hamel was the Russian gentleman of the party which made the ascent
+at the time of the famous disaster. He left Chamonix as soon as he
+conveniently could after the descent; and as he had shown a chilly
+indifference about the calamity, and offered neither sympathy nor
+assistance to the widows and orphans, he carried with him the cordial
+execrations of the whole community. Four months before the first remains
+were found, a Chamonix guide named Balmat--a relative of one of the lost
+men--was in London, and one day encountered a hale old gentleman in the
+British Museum, who said:
+
+"I overheard your name. Are you from Chamonix, Monsieur Balmat?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Haven't they found the bodies of my three guides, yet? I am Dr. Hamel."
+
+"Alas, no, monsieur."
+
+"Well, you'll find them, sooner or later."
+
+"Yes, it is the opinion of Dr. Forbes and Mr. Tyndall, that the glacier
+will sooner or later restore to us the remains of the unfortunate
+victims."
+
+"Without a doubt, without a doubt. And it will be a great thing for
+Chamonix, in the matter of attracting tourists. You can get up a museum
+with those remains that will draw!"
+
+This savage idea has not improved the odor of Dr. Hamel's name in
+Chamonix by any means. But after all, the man was sound on human nature.
+His idea was conveyed to the public officials of Chamonix, and they
+gravely discussed it around the official council-table. They were only
+prevented from carrying it into execution by the determined opposition
+of the friends and descendants of the lost guides, who insisted on
+giving the remains Christian burial, and succeeded in their purpose.
+
+A close watch had to be kept upon all the poor remnants and fragments,
+to prevent embezzlement. A few accessory odds and ends were sold. Rags
+and scraps of the coarse clothing were parted with at the rate equal to
+about twenty dollars a yard; a piece of a lantern and one or two other
+trifles brought nearly their weight in gold; and an Englishman offered a
+pound sterling for a single breeches-button.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+[The Fearful Disaster of 1865]
+
+
+One of the most memorable of all the Alpine catastrophes was that of
+July, 1865, on the Matterhorn--already slightly referred to, a few
+pages back. The details of it are scarcely known in America. To the vast
+majority of readers they are not known at all. Mr. Whymper's account is
+the only authentic one. I will import the chief portion of it into this
+book, partly because of its intrinsic interest, and partly because it
+gives such a vivid idea of what the perilous pastime of Alp-climbing
+is. This was Mr. Whymper's NINTH attempt during a series of years, to
+vanquish that steep and stubborn pillar or rock; it succeeded, the other
+eight were failures. No man had ever accomplished the ascent before,
+though the attempts had been numerous.
+
+MR. WHYMPER'S NARRATIVE We started from Zermatt on the 13th of July, at
+half past five, on a brilliant and perfectly cloudless morning. We were
+eight in number--Croz (guide), old Peter Taugwalder (guide) and his
+two sons; Lord F. Douglas, Mr. Hadow, Rev. Mr. Hudson, and I. To insure
+steady motion, one tourist and one native walked together. The youngest
+Taugwalder fell to my share. The wine-bags also fell to my lot to carry,
+and throughout the day, after each drink, I replenished them secretly
+with water, so that at the next halt they were found fuller than before!
+This was considered a good omen, and little short of miraculous.
+
+On the first day we did not intend to ascend to any great height, and we
+mounted, accordingly, very leisurely. Before twelve o'clock we had found
+a good position for the tent, at a height of eleven thousand feet. We
+passed the remaining hours of daylight--some basking in the sunshine,
+some sketching, some collecting; Hudson made tea, I coffee, and at
+length we retired, each one to his blanket bag.
+
+We assembled together before dawn on the 14th and started directly
+it was light enough to move. One of the young Taugwalders returned to
+Zermatt. In a few minutes we turned the rib which had intercepted the
+view of the eastern face from our tent platform. The whole of this
+great slope was now revealed, rising for three thousand feet like a huge
+natural staircase. Some parts were more, and others were less easy, but
+we were not once brought to a halt by any serious impediment, for when
+an obstruction was met in front it could always be turned to the right
+or to the left. For the greater part of the way there was no occasion,
+indeed, for the rope, and sometimes Hudson led, sometimes myself. At
+six-twenty we had attained a height of twelve thousand eight hundred
+feet, and halted for half an hour; we then continued the ascent without
+a break until nine-fifty-five, when we stopped for fifty minutes, at a
+height of fourteen thousand feet.
+
+
+
+We had now arrived at the foot of that part which, seen from the
+Riffelberg, seems perpendicular or overhanging. We could no longer
+continue on the eastern side. For a little distance we ascended by snow
+upon the ARÊTE--that is, the ridge--then turned over to the right, or
+northern side. The work became difficult, and required caution. In some
+places there was little to hold; the general slope of the mountain was
+LESS than forty degrees, and snow had accumulated in, and had filled
+up, the interstices of the rock-face, leaving only occasional fragments
+projecting here and there. These were at times covered with a thin film
+of ice. It was a place which any fair mountaineer might pass in safety.
+We bore away nearly horizontally for about four hundred feet, then
+ascended directly toward the summit for about sixty feet, then doubled
+back to the ridge which descends toward Zermatt. A long stride round
+a rather awkward corner brought us to snow once more. That last doubt
+vanished! The Matterhorn was ours! Nothing but two hundred feet of easy
+snow remained to be surmounted.
+
+The higher we rose, the more intense became the excitement. The slope
+eased off, at length we could be detached, and Croz and I, dashed away,
+ran a neck-and-neck race, which ended in a dead heat. At 1:40 P.M., the
+world was at our feet, and the Matterhorn was conquered!
+
+
+
+The others arrived. Croz now took the tent-pole, and planted it in the
+highest snow. "Yes," we said, "there is the flag-staff, but where is the
+flag?" "Here it is," he answered, pulling off his blouse and fixing it
+to the stick. It made a poor flag, and there was no wind to float
+it out, yet it was seen all around. They saw it at Zermatt--at the
+Riffel--in the Val Tournanche... .
+
+We remained on the summit for one hour--
+
+One crowded hour of glorious life.
+
+It passed away too quickly, and we began to prepare for the descent.
+
+Hudson and I consulted as to the best and safest arrangement of the
+party. We agreed that it was best for Croz to go first, and Hadow
+second; Hudson, who was almost equal to a guide in sureness of foot,
+wished to be third; Lord Douglas was placed next, and old Peter, the
+strongest of the remainder, after him. I suggested to Hudson that we
+should attach a rope to the rocks on our arrival at the difficult bit,
+and hold it as we descended, as an additional protection. He approved
+the idea, but it was not definitely decided that it should be done. The
+party was being arranged in the above order while I was sketching the
+summit, and they had finished, and were waiting for me to be tied in
+line, when some one remembered that our names had not been left in a
+bottle. They requested me to write them down, and moved off while it was
+being done.
+
+A few minutes afterward I tied myself to young Peter, ran down after the
+others, and caught them just as they were commencing the descent of the
+difficult part. Great care was being taken. Only one man was moving at a
+time; when he was firmly planted the next advanced, and so on. They had
+not, however, attached the additional rope to rocks, and nothing was
+said about it. The suggestion was not made for my own sake, and I am not
+sure that it ever occurred to me again. For some little distance we two
+followed the others, detached from them, and should have continued so
+had not Lord Douglas asked me, about 3 P.M., to tie on to old Peter, as
+he feared, he said, that Taugwalder would not be able to hold his ground
+if a slip occurred.
+
+A few minutes later, a sharp-eyed lad ran into the Monte Rosa Hotel, at
+Zermatt, saying that he had seen an avalanche fall from the summit of
+the Matterhorn onto the Matterhorn glacier. The boy was reproved for
+telling idle stories; he was right, nevertheless, and this was what he
+saw.
+
+Michel Croz had laid aside his ax, and in order to give Mr. Hadow
+greater security, was absolutely taking hold of his legs, and putting
+his feet, one by one, into their proper positions. As far as I know, no
+one was actually descending. I cannot speak with certainty, because the
+two leading men were partially hidden from my sight by an intervening
+mass of rock, but it is my belief, from the movements of their
+shoulders, that Croz, having done as I said, was in the act of turning
+round to go down a step or two himself; at this moment Mr. Hadow
+slipped, fell against him, and knocked him over. I heard one startled
+exclamation from Croz, then saw him and Mr. Hadow flying downward;
+in another moment Hudson was dragged from his steps, and Lord Douglas
+immediately after him. All this was the work of a moment. Immediately we
+heard Croz's exclamation, old Peter and I planted ourselves as firmly as
+the rocks would permit; the rope was taut between us, and the jerk came
+on us both as on one man. We held; but the rope broke midway between
+Taugwalder and Lord Francis Douglas. For a few seconds we saw our
+unfortunate companions sliding downward on their backs, and spreading
+out their hands, endeavoring to save themselves. They passed from our
+sight uninjured, disappeared one by one, and fell from the precipice to
+precipice onto the Matterhorn glacier below, a distance of nearly
+four thousand feet in height. From the moment the rope broke it was
+impossible to help them. So perished our comrades!
+
+
+
+For more than two hours afterward I thought almost every moment that the
+next would be my last; for the Taugwalders, utterly unnerved, were not
+only incapable of giving assistance, but were in such a state that a
+slip might have been expected from them at any moment. After a time we
+were able to do that which should have been done at first, and fixed
+rope to firm rocks, in addition to being tied together. These ropes were
+cut from time to time, and were left behind. Even with their assurance
+the men were afraid to proceed, and several times old Peter turned,
+with ashy face and faltering limbs, and said, with terrible emphasis, "I
+CANNOT!"
+
+About 6 P.M., we arrived at the snow upon the ridge descending toward
+Zermatt, and all peril was over. We frequently looked, but in vain, for
+traces of our unfortunate companions; we bent over the ridge and cried
+to them, but no sound returned. Convinced at last that they were neither
+within sight nor hearing, we ceased from our useless efforts; and, too
+cast down for speech, silently gathered up our things, and the little
+effects of those who were lost, and then completed the descent. Such
+is Mr. Whymper's graphic and thrilling narrative. Zermatt gossip
+darkly hints that the elder Taugwalder cut the rope, when the accident
+occurred, in order to preserve himself from being dragged into the
+abyss; but Mr. Whymper says that the ends of the rope showed no evidence
+of cutting, but only of breaking. He adds that if Taugwalder had had the
+disposition to cut the rope, he would not have had time to do it, the
+accident was so sudden and unexpected.
+
+Lord Douglas' body has never been found. It probably lodged upon some
+inaccessible shelf in the face of the mighty precipice. Lord Douglas was
+a youth of nineteen. The three other victims fell nearly four thousand
+feet, and their bodies lay together upon the glacier when found by
+Mr. Whymper and the other searchers the next morning. Their graves are
+beside the little church in Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+[Chillon has a Nice, Roomy Dungeon]
+
+
+Switzerland is simply a large, humpy, solid rock, with a thin skin of
+grass stretched over it. Consequently, they do not dig graves, they
+blast them out with powder and fuse. They cannot afford to have large
+graveyards, the grass skin is too circumscribed and too valuable. It is
+all required for the support of the living.
+
+The graveyard in Zermatt occupies only about one-eighth of an acre.
+The graves are sunk in the living rock, and are very permanent; but
+occupation of them is only temporary; the occupant can only stay till
+his grave is needed by a later subject, he is removed, then, for they do
+not bury one body on top of another. As I understand it, a family owns
+a grave, just as it owns a house. A man dies and leaves his house to his
+son--and at the same time, this dead father succeeds to his own father's
+grave. He moves out of the house and into the grave, and his predecessor
+moves out of the grave and into the cellar of the chapel. I saw a black
+box lying in the churchyard, with skull and cross-bones painted on it,
+and was told that this was used in transferring remains to the cellar.
+
+In that cellar the bones and skulls of several hundred of former
+citizens were compactly corded up. They made a pile eighteen feet long,
+seven feet high, and eight feet wide. I was told that in some of the
+receptacles of this kind in the Swiss villages, the skulls were all
+marked, and if a man wished to find the skulls of his ancestors for
+several generations back, he could do it by these marks, preserved in
+the family records.
+
+
+
+An English gentleman who had lived some years in this region, said it
+was the cradle of compulsory education. But he said that the English
+idea that compulsory education would reduce bastardy and intemperance
+was an error--it has not that effect. He said there was more seduction
+in the Protestant than in the Catholic cantons, because the confessional
+protected the girls. I wonder why it doesn't protect married women in
+France and Spain?
+
+This gentleman said that among the poorer peasants in the Valais, it was
+common for the brothers in a family to cast lots to determine which
+of them should have the coveted privilege of marrying, and his
+brethren--doomed bachelors--heroically banded themselves together to
+help support the new family.
+
+We left Zermatt in a wagon--and in a rain-storm, too--for St. Nicholas
+about ten o'clock one morning. Again we passed between those grass-clad
+prodigious cliffs, specked with wee dwellings peeping over at us from
+velvety green walls ten and twelve hundred feet high. It did not seem
+possible that the imaginary chamois even could climb those precipices.
+Lovers on opposite cliffs probably kiss through a spy-glass, and
+correspond with a rifle.
+
+In Switzerland the farmer's plow is a wide shovel, which scrapes up and
+turns over the thin earthy skin of his native rock--and there the man of
+the plow is a hero. Now here, by our St. Nicholas road, was a grave, and
+it had a tragic story. A plowman was skinning his farm one morning--not
+the steepest part of it, but still a steep part--that is, he was not
+skinning the front of his farm, but the roof of it, near the eaves--when
+he absent-mindedly let go of the plow-handles to moisten his hands, in
+the usual way; he lost his balance and fell out of his farm backward;
+poor fellow, he never touched anything till he struck bottom, fifteen
+hundred feet below. [This was on a Sunday.--M.T.] We throw a halo of
+heroism around the life of the soldier and the sailor, because of the
+deadly dangers they are facing all the time. But we are not used to
+looking upon farming as a heroic occupation. This is because we have not
+lived in Switzerland.
+
+
+
+From St. Nicholas we struck out for Visp--or Vispach--on foot. The
+rain-storms had been at work during several days, and had done a deal of
+damage in Switzerland and Savoy. We came to one place where a stream had
+changed its course and plunged down a mountain in a new place, sweeping
+everything before it. Two poor but precious farms by the roadside were
+ruined. One was washed clear away, and the bed-rock exposed; the other
+was buried out of sight under a tumbled chaos of rocks, gravel, mud,
+and rubbish. The resistless might of water was well exemplified. Some
+saplings which had stood in the way were bent to the ground, stripped
+clean of their bark, and buried under rocky debris. The road had been
+swept away, too.
+
+In another place, where the road was high up on the mountain's face, and
+its outside edge protected by flimsy masonry, we frequently came across
+spots where this masonry had carved off and left dangerous gaps for
+mules to get over; and with still more frequency we found the masonry
+slightly crumbled, and marked by mule-hoofs, thus showing that there had
+been danger of an accident to somebody. When at last we came to a
+badly ruptured bit of masonry, with hoof-prints evidencing a desperate
+struggle to regain the lost foothold, I looked quite hopefully over the
+dizzy precipice. But there was nobody down there.
+
+They take exceedingly good care of their rivers in Switzerland and other
+portions of Europe. They wall up both banks with slanting solid stone
+masonry--so that from end to end of these rivers the banks look like the
+wharves at St. Louis and other towns on the Mississippi River.
+
+It was during this walk from St. Nicholas, in the shadow of the majestic
+Alps, that we came across some little children amusing themselves in
+what seemed, at first, a most odd and original way--but it wasn't; it
+was in simply a natural and characteristic way. They were roped together
+with a string, they had mimic alpenstocks and ice-axes, and were
+climbing a meek and lowly manure-pile with a most blood-curdling amount
+of care and caution. The "guide" at the head of the line cut imaginary
+steps, in a laborious and painstaking way, and not a monkey budged till
+the step above was vacated. If we had waited we should have witnessed an
+imaginary accident, no doubt; and we should have heard the intrepid band
+hurrah when they made the summit and looked around upon the "magnificent
+view," and seen them throw themselves down in exhausted attitudes for a
+rest in that commanding situation.
+
+
+
+In Nevada I used to see the children play at silver-mining. Of course,
+the great thing was an accident in a mine, and there were two "star"
+parts; that of the man who fell down the mimic shaft, and that of the
+daring hero who was lowered into the depths to bring him up. I knew one
+small chap who always insisted on playing BOTH of these parts--and he
+carried his point. He would tumble into the shaft and die, and then come
+to the surface and go back after his own remains.
+
+It is the smartest boy that gets the hero part everywhere; he is head
+guide in Switzerland, head miner in Nevada, head bull-fighter in Spain,
+etc.; but I knew a preacher's son, seven years old, who once selected
+a part for himself compared to which those just mentioned are tame
+and unimpressive. Jimmy's father stopped him from driving imaginary
+horse-cars one Sunday--stopped him from playing captain of an imaginary
+steamboat next Sunday--stopped him from leading an imaginary army to
+battle the following Sunday--and so on. Finally the little fellow said:
+
+"I've tried everything, and they won't any of them do. What CAN I play?"
+
+"I hardly know, Jimmy; but you MUST play only things that are suitable
+to the Sabbath-day."
+
+Next Sunday the preacher stepped softly to a back-room door to see if
+the children were rightly employed. He peeped in. A chair occupied the
+middle of the room, and on the back of it hung Jimmy's cap; one of
+his little sisters took the cap down, nibbled at it, then passed it to
+another small sister and said, "Eat of this fruit, for it is good." The
+Reverend took in the situation--alas, they were playing the Expulsion
+from Eden! Yet he found one little crumb of comfort. He said to himself,
+"For once Jimmy has yielded the chief role--I have been wronging him, I
+did not believe there was so much modesty in him; I should have expected
+him to be either Adam or Eve." This crumb of comfort lasted but a very
+little while; he glanced around and discovered Jimmy standing in an
+imposing attitude in a corner, with a dark and deadly frown on his face.
+What that meant was very plain--HE WAS IMPERSONATING THE DEITY! Think of
+the guileless sublimity of that idea.
+
+
+
+We reached Vispach at 8 P.M., only about seven hours out from St.
+Nicholas. So we must have made fully a mile and a half an hour, and it
+was all downhill, too, and very muddy at that. We stayed all night at
+the Hotel de Soleil; I remember it because the landlady, the portier,
+the waitress, and the chambermaid were not separate persons, but were
+all contained in one neat and chipper suit of spotless muslin, and she
+was the prettiest young creature I saw in all that region. She was the
+landlord's daughter. And I remember that the only native match to her
+I saw in all Europe was the young daughter of the landlord of a village
+inn in the Black Forest. Why don't more people in Europe marry and keep
+hotel?
+
+
+
+Next morning we left with a family of English friends and went by train
+to Brevet, and thence by boat across the lake to Ouchy (Lausanne).
+
+Ouchy is memorable to me, not on account of its beautiful situation and
+lovely surroundings--although these would make it stick long in one's
+memory--but as the place where _I_ caught the London TIMES dropping into
+humor. It was NOT aware of it, though. It did not do it on purpose.
+An English friend called my attention to this lapse, and cut out the
+reprehensible paragraph for me. Think of encountering a grin like this
+on the face of that grim journal:
+
+ERRATUM.--We are requested by Reuter's Telegram Company to correct an
+erroneous announcement made in their Brisbane telegram of the 2d inst.,
+published in our impression of the 5th inst., stating that "Lady Kennedy
+had given birth to twins, the eldest being a son." The Company explain
+that the message they received contained the words "Governor of
+Queensland, TWINS FIRST SON." Being, however, subsequently informed that
+Sir Arthur Kennedy was unmarried and that there must be some mistake, a
+telegraphic repetition was at once demanded. It has been received today
+(11th inst.) and shows that the words really telegraphed by Reuter's
+agent were "Governor Queensland TURNS FIRST SOD," alluding to the
+Maryborough-Gympic Railway in course of construction. The words in
+italics were mutilated by the telegraph in transmission from Australia,
+and reaching the company in the form mentioned above gave rise to the
+mistake.
+
+I had always had a deep and reverent compassion for the sufferings of
+the "prisoner of Chillon," whose story Byron had told in such moving
+verse; so I took the steamer and made pilgrimage to the dungeons of the
+Castle of Chillon, to see the place where poor Bonnivard endured his
+dreary captivity three hundred years ago. I am glad I did that, for it
+took away some of the pain I was feeling on the prisoner's account. His
+dungeon was a nice, cool, roomy place, and I cannot see why he should
+have been dissatisfied with it. If he had been imprisoned in a St.
+Nicholas private dwelling, where the fertilizer prevails, and the goat
+sleeps with the guest, and the chickens roost on him and the cow comes
+in and bothers him when he wants to muse, it would have been another
+matter altogether; but he surely could not have had a very cheerless
+time of it in that pretty dungeon. It has romantic window-slits that
+let in generous bars of light, and it has tall, noble columns, carved
+apparently from the living rock; and what is more, they are written
+all over with thousands of names; some of them--like Byron's and Victor
+Hugo's--of the first celebrity. Why didn't he amuse himself reading
+these names? Then there are the couriers and tourists--swarms of them
+every day--what was to hinder him from having a good time with them? I
+think Bonnivard's sufferings have been overrated.
+
+
+
+Next, we took the train and went to Martigny, on the way to Mont Blanc.
+Next morning we started, about eight o'clock, on foot. We had plenty of
+company, in the way of wagon-loads and mule-loads of tourists--and dust.
+This scattering procession of travelers was perhaps a mile long. The
+road was uphill--interminable uphill--and tolerably steep. The weather
+was blisteringly hot, and the man or woman who had to sit on a creeping
+mule, or in a crawling wagon, and broil in the beating sun, was an
+object to be pitied. We could dodge among the bushes, and have the
+relief of shade, but those people could not. They paid for a conveyance,
+and to get their money's worth they rode.
+
+We went by the way of the Tête Noir, and after we reached high ground
+there was no lack of fine scenery. In one place the road was tunneled
+through a shoulder of the mountain; from there one looked down into a
+gorge with a rushing torrent in it, and on every hand was a charming
+view of rocky buttresses and wooded heights. There was a liberal
+allowance of pretty waterfalls, too, on the Tête Noir route.
+
+
+
+About half an hour before we reached the village of Argentière a vast
+dome of snow with the sun blazing on it drifted into view and framed
+itself in a strong V-shaped gateway of the mountains, and we recognized
+Mont Blanc, the "monarch of the Alps." With every step, after that,
+this stately dome rose higher and higher into the blue sky, and at last
+seemed to occupy the zenith.
+
+Some of Mont Blanc's neighbors--bare, light-brown, steeplelike
+rocks--were very peculiarly shaped. Some were whittled to a sharp point,
+and slightly bent at the upper end, like a lady's finger; one monster
+sugar-loaf resembled a bishop's hat; it was too steep to hold snow on
+its sides, but had some in the division.
+
+
+
+While we were still on very high ground, and before the descent toward
+Argentière began, we looked up toward a neighboring mountain-top, and
+saw exquisite prismatic colors playing about some white clouds which
+were so delicate as to almost resemble gossamer webs. The faint pinks
+and greens were peculiarly beautiful; none of the colors were deep, they
+were the lightest shades. They were bewitching commingled. We sat down
+to study and enjoy this singular spectacle. The tints remained during
+several minutes--flitting, changing, melting into each other; paling
+almost away for a moment, then reflushing--a shifting, restless,
+unstable succession of soft opaline gleams, shimmering over that air
+film of white cloud, and turning it into a fabric dainty enough to
+clothe an angel with.
+
+By and by we perceived what those super-delicate colors, and their
+continuous play and movement, reminded us of; it is what one sees in a
+soap-bubble that is drifting along, catching changes of tint from the
+objects it passes. A soap-bubble is the most beautiful thing, and the
+most exquisite, in nature; that lovely phantom fabric in the sky was
+suggestive of a soap-bubble split open, and spread out in the sun. I
+wonder how much it would take to buy a soap-bubble, if there was only
+one in the world? One could buy a hatful of Koh-i-Noors with the same
+money, no doubt.
+
+
+
+We made the tramp from Martigny to Argentière in eight hours. We beat
+all the mules and wagons; we didn't usually do that. We hired a sort of
+open baggage-wagon for the trip down the valley to Chamonix, and then
+devoted an hour to dining. This gave the driver time to get drunk. He
+had a friend with him, and this friend also had had time to get drunk.
+
+When we drove off, the driver said all the tourists had arrived and
+gone by while we were at dinner; "but," said he, impressively, "be not
+disturbed by that--remain tranquil--give yourselves no uneasiness--their
+dust rises far before us--rest you tranquil, leave all to me--I am the
+king of drivers. Behold!"
+
+Down came his whip, and away we clattered. I never had such a shaking up
+in my life. The recent flooding rains had washed the road clear away in
+places, but we never stopped, we never slowed down for anything. We tore
+right along, over rocks, rubbish, gullies, open fields--sometimes with
+one or two wheels on the ground, but generally with none. Every now and
+then that calm, good-natured madman would bend a majestic look over his
+shoulder at us and say, "Ah, you perceive? It is as I have said--I am
+the king of drivers." Every time we just missed going to destruction,
+he would say, with tranquil happiness, "Enjoy it, gentlemen, it is very
+rare, it is very unusual--it is given to few to ride with the king of
+drivers--and observe, it is as I have said, I am he."
+
+
+
+He spoke in French, and punctuated with hiccoughs. His friend was
+French, too, but spoke in German--using the same system of punctuation,
+however. The friend called himself the "Captain of Mont Blanc," and
+wanted us to make the ascent with him. He said he had made more ascents
+than any other man--forty seven--and his brother had made thirty-seven.
+His brother was the best guide in the world, except himself--but he,
+yes, observe him well--he was the "Captain of Mont Blanc"--that title
+belonged to none other.
+
+The "king" was as good as his word--he overtook that long procession
+of tourists and went by it like a hurricane. The result was that we got
+choicer rooms at the hotel in Chamonix than we should have done if
+his majesty had been a slower artist--or rather, if he hadn't most
+providentially got drunk before he left Argentière.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>A TRAMP ABROAD, BY MARK TWAIN, Part 6</title>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
+
+
+<style type="text/css">
+    <!--
+		body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent:   1em;
+        margin-top:    .75em;
+        margin-bottom: .75em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+    HR  { width: 33%; text-align: center; }
+		blockquote {font-size: 97% }
+		.figleft   {float: left;}
+    .figright  {float: right;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+    CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+    // -->
+</style>
+
+
+
+</head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 6
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 2004 [EBook #5787]
+Posting Date: June 2, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h2>A TRAMP ABROAD BY MARK TWAIN, Part 6</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3>
+<tr><td>
+
+
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5786/5786-h/5786-h.htm">Previous Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+</td><td>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5788/5788-h/5788-h.htm">Next Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+
+
+
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><a name="cover"></a><img alt="cover.jpg (229K)" src="images/cover.jpg" height="745" width="652">
+</center>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="Portrait"></a><img alt="Portrait.jpg (45K)" src="images/Portrait.jpg" height="1051" width="605">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Moses"></a><img alt="Moses.jpg (86K)" src="images/Moses.jpg" height="949" width="565">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Titlepage"></a><img alt="Titlepage.jpg (41K)" src="images/Titlepage.jpg" height="1029" width="645">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+                   <center> <h1>A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 6.</h1>
+
+                     <h2>By Mark Twain</h2>
+                  <h3>(Samuel L. Clemens)</h3>
+
+                <h3>First published in 1880</h3>
+
+								<h3>Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition</h3>
+
+                      * * * * * *
+</center>
+
+
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS:</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+<tr><td>
+
+1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Portrait">PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR</a><br>
+2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Moses">TITIAN'S MOSES</a><br>
+3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p016">THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES</a><br>
+236.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p402">A SUNDAY MORNING'S DEMON</a> <br>
+237.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p406">JUST SAVED</a> <br>
+238.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p407">SCENE IN VALLEY OF ZERMATT</a><br>
+239.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p411">ARRIVAL AT ZERMATT</a><br>
+240.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p413">FITTED OUT</a> <br>
+241.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p415">A FEARFUL FALL</a> <br>
+242.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p417">TAIL PIECE</a><br>
+243.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p421">ALL READY</a> <br>
+244.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p422">THE MARCH</a><br>
+245.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p423">THE CARAVAN</a><br>
+246.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p427">THE HOOK</a> <br>
+247.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p428a">THE DISABLED CHAPLAIN</a> <br>
+248.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p428b">TRYING EXPERIMENTS</a> <br>
+249.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p430">SAVED! SAVED!</a> <br>
+250.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p431">TWENTY MINUTES WORK</a> <br>
+251.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p432">THE BLACK RAM</a> <br>
+252.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p433">THE MIRACLE</a> <br>
+253.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p434">THE NEW GUIDE</a> <br>
+251.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p436">SCIENTIFIC RESEARCHES</a> <br>
+255.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p439">MOUNTAIN CHALET</a> <br>
+256.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p441">THE GRANDSON</a> <br>
+257.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p444">OCCASIONLY MET WITH</a> <br>
+258.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p446">SUMMIT OF THE GORNER GRAT</a> <br>
+259.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p447">CHIEFS OF THE ADVANCE GUARD</a><br>
+260.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p448">MY PICTURE OF THE MATTERHORN</a> <br>
+261.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p453">EVERYBODY HAD AN EXCUSE</a> <br>
+262.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p455">SPRUNG A LEAK</a> <br>
+263.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p458">A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION</a> <br>
+264.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p461">A TERMINAL MORAINE </a> <br>
+265.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p462">FRONT OF GLACIER</a> <br>
+266.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p463">AN OLD MORAINE</a><br>
+267.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p465">GLACIER OF ZERMATT WITH LATERAL MORAINE</a> <br>
+269.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p469">UNEXPECTED MEETING OF FRIENDS</a> <br>
+269.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p472">VILLAGE OF CHAMONIX</a> <br>
+270.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p475">THE MATTERHORN</a> <br>
+271.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p477">ON THE SUMMIT</a> <br>
+272.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p480">ACCIDENT ON THE MATTERHORN (1865)</a> <br>
+273.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p482">ROPED TOGETHER</a> <br>
+274.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p484">STORAGE OF ANCESTORS</a> <br>
+275.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p485">FALLING OUT OF HIS FARM</a> <br>
+276.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p487">CHILD LIFE IN SWITZERLAND</a> <br>
+277.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p488">A SUNDAY PLAY</a><br>
+278.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p489">THE COMBINATION</a> <br>
+279.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p491">CHILLON</a> <br>
+280.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p492">THE TETE NOIR</a> <br>
+281.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p494">MONT BLANC'S NEIGHBORS</a><br>
+282.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p496">AN EXQUISITE THING</a> <br>
+283.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p497">A WILD RIDE</a><br>
+284.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p498">SWISS PEASANT GIRL</a><br>
+
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+<h2>CONTENTS:</h2>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<a href="#ch36">CHAPTER XXXVI</a>
+<br>
+Sunday Church Bells&mdash;A Cause of Profanity&mdash;A Magnificent
+Glacier&mdash;Fault Finding by Harris&mdash;Almost an Accident&mdash;Selfishness of
+Harris&mdash;Approaching Zermatt&mdash;The Matterhorn&mdash;Zermatt&mdash;Home of Mountain
+Climbers&mdash;Fitted out for Climbing&mdash;A Fearful Adventure &mdash;Never Satisfied
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch37">CHAPTER XXXVII</a>
+<br>
+A Calm Decision&mdash;"I Will Ascend the Riffelberg"&mdash;Preparations for
+the Trip&mdash;All Zermatt on the Alert&mdash;Schedule of Persons and
+Things&mdash;An Unprecedented Display&mdash;A General Turn&mdash;out&mdash;Ready
+for a Start&mdash;The Post of Danger&mdash;The Advance Directed&mdash;Grand
+Display of Umbrellas&mdash;The First Camp&mdash;Almost a Panic&mdash;Supposed
+to be Lost&mdash;The First Accident&mdash;A Chaplain
+Disabled&mdash;An Experimenting Mule&mdash;Good Effects of a Blunder&mdash;Badly
+Lost&mdash;A Reconnoiter&mdash;Mystery and Doubt&mdash;Stern Measures
+Taken&mdash;A Black Ram&mdash;Saved by a Miracle&mdash;The Guide's Guide
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch38">CHAPTER XXXVIII</a>
+<br>
+Our Expedition Continued&mdash;Experiments with the Barometer&mdash;Boiling
+Thermometer&mdash;Barometer Soup&mdash;An Interesting Scientific
+Discovery&mdash;Crippling a Latinist&mdash;A Chaplain Injured&mdash;Short of
+Barkeepers&mdash;Digging a Mountain Cellar&mdash;A Young American Specimen&mdash;Somebody's
+Grandson&mdash;Arrival at Riffelberg Botel&mdash;Ascent of Gorner
+Grat&mdash;Faith in Thermometers&mdash;The Matterhorn
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch39">CHAPTER XXXIX</a>
+<br>
+Guide Books&mdash;Plans for the Return of the Expedition&mdash;A Glacier
+Train&mdash;Parachute Descent from Gorner Grat&mdash;Proposed Honors to Harris
+Declined&mdash;All had an Excuse&mdash;A Magnificent Idea
+Abandoned&mdash;Descent to the Glacier&mdash;A Supposed Leak&mdash;A Slow
+Train&mdash;The Glacier Abandoned&mdash;Journey to Zermatt&mdash;A Scientific Question
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch40">CHAPTER XL</a>
+<br>
+Glaciers&mdash;Glacier Perils&mdash;Moraines&mdash;Terminal Moraines&mdash;Lateral
+Moraines&mdash;Immense Size of Glacier&mdash;Traveling Glacier&mdash;&mdash;General
+Movements of Glaciers&mdash;Ascent of Mont Blacc&mdash;Loss of
+Guides&mdash;Finding of Remains&mdash;Meeting of Old Friends&mdash;The Dead and
+Living&mdash;Proposed Museum&mdash;The Relics at Chamonix
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch41">CHAPTER XLI</a>
+<br>
+The Matterhorn Catastrophe of 1563&mdash;Mr Whymper's
+Narrative&mdash;Ascent of the Matterhorn&mdash;The Summit&mdash;The Matterhorn
+Conquered&mdash;The Descent Commenced&mdash;A Fearful Disaster&mdash;Death of Lord
+Douglas and Two Others&mdash;The Graves of the Two
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch42">CHAPTER XLII </a>
+<br>
+Switzerland&mdash;Graveyard at Zermatt&mdash;Balloting for Marriage&mdash;Farmers
+as Heroes&mdash;Falling off a Farm&mdash;From St Nicholas to Visp&mdash;Dangerous
+Traveling&mdash;Children's Play&mdash;The Parson's Children&mdash;A Landlord's
+Daughter&mdash;A Rare Combination&mdash;Ch iIIon&mdash;Lost Sympathy&mdash;Mont Blanc
+and its Neighbors&mdash;Beauty of Soap Bubbles&mdash;A Wild Drive&mdash;The King
+of Drivers&mdash;Benefit of getting Drunk
+
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+<br><br><br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="p016"></a><img alt="p016.jpg (82K)" src="images/p016.jpg" height="817" width="535">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch36"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XXXVI</h2>
+<h3>[The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>We did not oversleep at St. Nicholas.  The church-bell
+began to ring at four-thirty in the morning, and from
+the length of time it continued to ring I judged that it
+takes the Swiss sinner a good while to get the invitation
+through his head.  Most church-bells in the world
+are of poor quality, and have a harsh and rasping
+sound which upsets the temper and produces much sin,
+but the St. Nicholas bell is a good deal the worst one
+that has been contrived yet, and is peculiarly maddening
+in its operation.  Still, it may have its right and its
+excuse to exist, for the community is poor and not every
+citizen can afford a clock, perhaps; but there cannot be
+any excuse for our church-bells at home, for there is no
+family in America without a clock, and consequently there
+is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful
+sounds that issues from our steeples.  There is much more
+profanity in America on Sunday than in all in the other six
+days of the week put together, and it is of a more bitter
+and malignant character than the week-day profanity, too.
+It is produced by the cracked-pot clangor of the cheap
+church-bells.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p402"></a><img alt="p402.jpg (25K)" src="images/p402.jpg" height="627" width="211">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We build our churches almost without regard to cost;
+we rear an edifice which is an adornment to the town, and we
+gild it, and fresco it, and mortgage it, and do everything
+we can think of to perfect it, and then spoil it all by
+putting a bell on it which afflicts everybody who hears it,
+giving some the headache, others St. Vitus's dance,
+and the rest the blind staggers.
+
+<p>An American village at ten o'clock on a summer Sunday is
+the quietest and peacefulest and holiest thing in nature;
+but it is a pretty different thing half an hour later.
+Mr. Poe's poem of the "Bells" stands incomplete to this day;
+but it is well enough that it is so, for the public reciter
+or "reader" who goes around trying to imitate the sounds
+of the various sorts of bells with his voice would find
+himself "up a stump" when he got to the
+church-bell&mdash;as Joseph Addison would say.  The church is always trying
+to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea
+to reform itself a little, by way of example.  It is still
+clinging to one or two things which were useful once,
+but which are not useful now, neither are they ornamental.
+One is the bell-ringing to remind a clock-caked town
+that it is church-time, and another is the reading from
+the pulpit of a tedious list of "notices" which everybody
+who is interested has already read in the newspaper.
+The clergyman even reads the hymn through&mdash;a relic
+of an ancient time when hymn-books are scarce and costly;
+but everybody has a hymn-book, now, and so the public reading
+is no longer necessary.  It is not merely unnecessary,
+it is generally painful; for the average clergyman could
+not fire into his congregation with a shotgun and hit a worse
+reader than himself, unless the weapon scattered shamefully.
+I am not meaning to be flippant and irreverent, I am only
+meaning to be truthful.  The average clergyman, in all
+countries and of all denominations, is a very bad reader.
+One would think he would at least learn how to read
+the Lord's Prayer, by and by, but it is not so.  He races
+through it as if he thought the quicker he got it in,
+the sooner it would be answered.  A person who does not
+appreciate the exceeding value of pauses, and does not know
+how to measure their duration judiciously, cannot render
+the grand simplicity and dignity of a composition like
+that effectively.
+
+<p>We took a tolerably early breakfast, and tramped off
+toward Zermatt through the reeking lanes of the village,
+glad to get away from that bell.  By and by we had a fine
+spectacle on our right.  It was the wall-like butt end of a
+huge glacier, which looked down on us from an Alpine height
+which was well up in the blue sky.  It was an astonishing
+amount of ice to be compacted together in one mass.
+We ciphered upon it and decided that it was not less than
+several hundred feet from the base of the wall of solid
+ice to the top of it&mdash;Harris believed it was really
+twice that.  We judged that if St. Paul's, St. Peter's,
+the Great Pyramid, the Strasburg Cathedral and the Capitol
+in Washington were clustered against that wall, a man
+sitting on its upper edge could not hang his hat on the top
+of any one of them without reaching down three or four
+hundred feet&mdash;a thing which, of course, no man could do.
+
+<p>To me, that mighty glacier was very beautiful.  I did
+not imagine that anybody could find fault with it; but I
+was mistaken.  Harris had been snarling for several days.
+He was a rabid Protestant, and he was always saying:
+
+<p>"In the Protestant cantons you never see such poverty
+and dirt and squalor as you do in this Catholic one;
+you never see the lanes and alleys flowing with foulness;
+you never see such wretched little sties of houses;
+you never see an inverted tin turnip on top of a church
+for a dome; and as for a church-bell, why, you never hear
+a church-bell at all."
+
+<p>All this morning he had been finding fault, straight along.
+First it was with the mud.  He said, "It ain't muddy in a
+Protestant canton when it rains." Then it was with the dogs:
+"They don't have those lop-eared dogs in a Protestant canton."
+Then it was with the roads: "They don't leave the roads
+to make themselves in a Protestant canton, the people make
+them&mdash;and they make a road that IS a road, too." Next it
+was the goats: "You never see a goat shedding tears
+in a Protestant canton&mdash;a goat, there, is one of the
+cheerfulest objects in nature." Next it was the chamois:
+"You never see a Protestant chamois act like one of
+these&mdash;they take a bite or two and go; but these fellows camp
+with you and stay." Then it was the guide-boards: "In
+a Protestant canton you couldn't get lost if you wanted to,
+but you never see a guide-board in a Catholic canton."
+Next, "You never see any flower-boxes in the windows,
+here&mdash;never anything but now and then a cat&mdash;a torpid one;
+but you take a Protestant canton: windows perfectly lovely
+with flowers&mdash;and as for cats, there's just acres of them.
+These folks in this canton leave a road to make itself,
+and then fine you three francs if you 'trot' over
+it&mdash;as if a horse could trot over such a sarcasm of a road."
+Next about the goiter: "THEY talk about goiter!&mdash;I haven't
+seen a goiter in this whole canton that I couldn't put
+in a hat."
+
+<p>He had growled at everything, but I judged it would puzzle
+him to find anything the matter with this majestic glacier.
+I intimated as much; but he was ready, and said with surly
+discontent: "You ought to see them in the Protestant cantons."
+
+<p>This irritated me.  But I concealed the feeling, and asked:
+
+<p>"What is the matter with this one?"
+
+<p>"Matter? Why, it ain't in any kind of condition.
+They never take any care of a glacier here.  The moraine
+has been spilling gravel around it, and got it all dirty."
+
+<p>"Why, man, THEY can't help that."
+
+<p>"THEY? You're right.  That is, they WON'T. They could
+if they wanted to.  You never see a speck of dirt
+on a Protestant glacier.  Look at the Rhone glacier.
+It is fifteen miles long, and seven hundred feet thick.
+If this was a Protestant glacier you wouldn't see it looking
+like this, I can tell you."
+
+<p>"That is nonsense.  What would they do with it?"
+
+<p>"They would whitewash it.  They always do."
+
+<p>I did not believe a word of this, but rather than have
+trouble I let it go; for it is a waste of breath to argue
+with a bigot.  I even doubted if the Rhone glacier WAS
+in a Protestant canton; but I did not know, so I could
+not make anything by contradicting a man who would
+probably put me down at once with manufactured evidence.
+
+<p>About nine miles from St. Nicholas we crossed a bridge
+over the raging torrent of the Visp, and came to a log
+strip of flimsy fencing which was pretending to secure
+people from tumbling over a perpendicular wall forty feet
+high and into the river.  Three children were approaching;
+one of them, a little girl, about eight years old,
+was running; when pretty close to us she stumbled and fell,
+and her feet shot under the rail of the fence and for a
+moment projected over the stream.  It gave us a sharp shock,
+for we thought she was gone, sure, for the ground slanted
+steeply, and to save herself seemed a sheer impossibility;
+but she managed to scramble up, and ran by us laughing.
+
+<p>We went forward and examined the place and saw the long
+tracks which her feet had made in the dirt when they
+darted over the verge.  If she had finished her trip she
+would have struck some big rocks in the edge of the water,
+and then the torrent would have snatched her downstream
+among the half-covered boulders and she would have been
+pounded to pulp in two minutes.  We had come exceedingly
+near witnessing her death.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p406"></a><img alt="p406.jpg (50K)" src="images/p406.jpg" height="629" width="567">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>And now Harris's contrary nature and inborn selfishness
+were strikingly manifested.  He has no spirit of self-denial.
+He began straight off, and continued for an hour,
+to express his gratitude that the child was not destroyed.
+I never saw such a man.  That was the kind of person he was;
+just so HE was gratified, he never cared anything about
+anybody else.  I had noticed that trait in him, over and
+over again.  Often, of course, it was mere heedlessness,
+mere want of reflection.  Doubtless this may have been
+the case in most instances, but it was not the less hard
+to bar on that account&mdash;and after all, its bottom,
+its groundwork, was selfishness.  There is no avoiding
+that conclusion.  In the instance under consideration,
+I did think the indecency of running on in that way might
+occur to him; but no, the child was saved and he was glad,
+that was sufficient&mdash;he cared not a straw for MY feelings,
+or my loss of such a literary plum, snatched from my
+very mouth at the instant it was ready to drop into it.
+His selfishness was sufficient to place his own gratification
+in being spared suffering clear before all concern for me,
+his friend.  Apparently, he did not once reflect upon the
+valuable details which would have fallen like a windfall
+to me: fishing the child out&mdash;witnessing the surprise of
+the family and the stir the thing would have made among the
+peasants&mdash;then a Swiss funeral&mdash;then the roadside monument,
+to be paid for by us and have our names mentioned in it.
+And we should have gone into Baedeker and been immortal.
+I was silent.  I was too much hurt to complain.  If he could
+act so, and be so heedless and so frivolous at such a time,
+and actually seem to glory in it, after all I had done for him,
+I would have cut my hand off before I would let him see
+that I was wounded.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p407"></a><img alt="p407.jpg (84K)" src="images/p407.jpg" height="911" width="579">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We were approaching Zermatt; consequently, we were
+approaching the renowned Matterhorn.  A month before,
+this mountain had been only a name to us, but latterly
+we had been moving through a steadily thickening double
+row of pictures of it, done in oil, water, chromo, wood,
+steel, copper, crayon, and photography, and so it had at
+length become a shape to us&mdash;and a very distinct, decided,
+and familiar one, too.  We were expecting to recognize
+that mountain whenever or wherever we should run across it.
+We were not deceived.  The monarch was far away when we
+first saw him, but there was no such thing as mistaking him.
+He has the rare peculiarity of standing by himself;
+he is peculiarly steep, too, and is also most oddly shaped.
+He towers into the sky like a colossal wedge, with the
+upper third of its blade bent a little to the left.
+The broad base of this monster wedge is planted upon
+a grand glacier-paved Alpine platform whose elevation
+is ten thousand feet above sea-level; as the wedge itself
+is some five thousand feet high, it follows that its
+apex is about fifteen thousand feet above sea-level.
+So the whole bulk of this stately piece of rock, this
+sky-cleaving monolith, is above the line of eternal snow.
+Yet while all its giant neighbors have the look of being
+built of solid snow, from their waists up, the Matterhorn
+stands black and naked and forbidding, the year round,
+or merely powdered or streaked with white in places,
+for its sides are so steep that the snow cannot stay there.
+Its strange form, its august isolation, and its majestic
+unkinship with its own kind, make it&mdash;so to speak&mdash;the Napoleon
+of the mountain world.  "Grand, gloomy, and peculiar,"
+is a phrase which fits it as aptly as it fitted the great
+captain.
+
+<p>Think of a monument a mile high, standing on a pedestal
+two miles high! This is what the Matterhorn is&mdash;a monument.
+Its office, henceforth, for all time, will be to keep
+watch and ward over the secret resting-place of the young
+Lord Douglas, who, in 1865, was precipitated from the
+summit over a precipice four thousand feet high, and never
+seen again.  No man ever had such a monument as this before;
+the most imposing of the world's other monuments are
+but atoms compared to it; and they will perish, and their
+places will pass from memory, but this will remain.
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+    <p>[The accident which cost Lord Douglas his life (see
+    Chapter xii) also cost the lives of three other men.
+    These three fell four-fifths of a mile, and their bodies
+    were afterward found, lying side by side, upon a glacier,
+    whence they were borne to Zermatt and buried in the
+    churchyard.
+
+    <p>The remains of Lord Douglas have never been found.
+    The secret of his sepulture, like that of Moses, must remain
+    a mystery always.]
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+<p>A walk from St. Nicholas to Zermatt is a wonderful experience.
+Nature is built on a stupendous plan in that region.
+One marches continually between walls that are piled
+into the skies, with their upper heights broken into
+a confusion of sublime shapes that gleam white and cold
+against the background of blue; and here and there one
+sees a big glacier displaying its grandeurs on the top
+of a precipice, or a graceful cascade leaping and flashing
+down the green declivities.  There is nothing tame,
+or cheap, or trivial&mdash;it is all magnificent.  That short
+valley is a picture-gallery of a notable kind, for it
+contains no mediocrities; from end to end the Creator
+has hung it with His masterpieces.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p411"></a><img alt="p411.jpg (96K)" src="images/p411.jpg" height="487" width="650">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We made Zermatt at three in the afternoon, nine hours out
+from St. Nicholas.  Distance, by guide-book, twelve miles;
+by pedometer seventy-two. We were in the heart and home
+of the mountain-climbers, now, as all visible things
+testified.  The snow-peaks did not hold themselves aloof,
+in aristocratic reserve; they nestled close around,
+in a friendly, sociable way; guides, with the ropes and
+axes and other implements of their fearful calling slung
+about their persons, roosted in a long line upon a stone
+wall in front of the hotel, and waited for customers;
+sun-burnt climbers, in mountaineering costume, and followed
+by their guides and porters, arrived from time to time,
+from breakneck expeditions among the peaks and glaciers
+of the High Alps; male and female tourists, on mules,
+filed by, in a continuous procession, hotelward-bound from
+wild adventures which would grow in grandeur every time
+they were described at the English or American fireside,
+and at last outgrow the possible itself.
+
+<p>We were not dreaming; this was not a make-believe home
+of the Alp-climber, created by our heated imaginations;
+no, for here was Mr. Girdlestone himself, the famous
+Englishman who hunts his way to the most formidable Alpine
+summits without a guide.  I was not equal to imagining
+a Girdlestone; it was all I could do to even realize him,
+while looking straight at him at short range.  I would rather
+face whole Hyde Parks of artillery than the ghastly forms
+of death which he has faced among the peaks and precipices
+of the mountains.  There is probably no pleasure equal
+to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is
+a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can
+find pleasure in it.  I have not jumped to this conclusion;
+I have traveled to it per gravel-train, so to speak.
+I have thought the thing all out, and am quite sure I
+am right.  A born climber's appetite for climbing is hard
+to satisfy; when it comes upon him he is like a starving
+man with a feast before him; he may have other business
+on hand, but it must wait.  Mr. Girdlestone had had
+his usual summer holiday in the Alps, and had spent it
+in his usual way, hunting for unique chances to break
+his neck; his vacation was over, and his luggage packed
+for England, but all of a sudden a hunger had come upon
+him to climb the tremendous Weisshorn once more, for he
+had heard of a new and utterly impossible route up it.
+His baggage was unpacked at once, and now he and a friend,
+laden with knapsacks, ice-axes, coils of rope, and canteens
+of milk, were just setting out.  They would spend
+the night high up among the snows, somewhere, and get
+up at two in the morning and finish the enterprise.
+I had a strong desire to go with them, but forced it
+down&mdash;a feat which Mr. Girdlestone, with all his fortitude,
+could not do.
+
+<p>Even ladies catch the climbing mania, and are unable to
+throw it off.  A famous climber, of that sex, had attempted
+the Weisshorn a few days before our arrival, and she
+and her guides had lost their way in a snow-storm high up
+among the peaks and glaciers and been forced to wander
+around a good while before they could find a way down.
+When this lady reached the bottom, she had been on her
+feet twenty-three hours!
+
+<p>Our guides, hired on the Gemmi, were already at Zermatt
+when we reached there.  So there was nothing to interfere
+with our getting up an adventure whenever we should
+choose the time and the object.  I resolved to devote
+my first evening in Zermatt to studying up the subject
+of Alpine climbing, by way of preparation.
+
+<p>I read several books, and here are some of the things
+I found out.  One's shoes must be strong and heavy,
+and have pointed hobnails in them.  The alpenstock
+must be of the best wood, for if it should break,
+loss of life might be the result.  One should carry an ax,
+to cut steps in the ice with, on the great heights.
+There must be a ladder, for there are steep bits of rock
+which can be surmounted with this instrument&mdash;or this
+utensil&mdash;but could not be surmounted without it;
+such an obstruction has compelled the tourist to waste
+hours hunting another route, when a ladder would have
+saved him all trouble.  One must have from one hundred
+and fifty to five hundred feet of strong rope, to be used
+in lowering the party down steep declivities which are
+too steep and smooth to be traversed in any other way.
+One must have a steel hook, on another rope&mdash;a very
+useful thing; for when one is ascending and comes to a low
+bluff which is yet too high for the ladder, he swings
+this rope aloft like a lasso, the hook catches at the top
+of the bluff, and then the tourist climbs the rope,
+hand over hand&mdash;being always particular to try and forget
+that if the hook gives way he will never stop falling
+till he arrives in some part of Switzerland where they
+are not expecting him.  Another important thing&mdash;there
+must be a rope to tie the whole party together with,
+so that if one falls from a mountain or down a bottomless
+chasm in a glacier, the others may brace back on the rope
+and save him.  One must have a silk veil, to protect
+his face from snow, sleet, hail and gale, and colored
+goggles to protect his eyes from that dangerous enemy,
+snow-blindness. Finally, there must be some porters,
+to carry provisions, wine and scientific instruments,
+and also blanket bags for the party to sleep in.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p413"></a><img alt="p413.jpg (27K)" src="images/p413.jpg" height="511" width="351">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I closed my readings with a fearful adventure which
+Mr. Whymper once had on the Matterhorn when he was prowling
+around alone, five thousand feet above the town of Breil.
+He was edging his way gingerly around the corner of a
+precipice where the upper edge of a sharp declivity
+of ice-glazed snow joined it.  This declivity swept
+down a couple of hundred feet, into a gully which curved
+around and ended at a precipice eight hundred feet high,
+overlooking a glacier.  His foot slipped, and he fell.
+
+<p>He says:
+
+<p>"My knapsack brought my head down first, and I pitched into
+some rocks about a dozen feet below; they caught something,
+and tumbled me off the edge, head over heels, into the gully;
+the baton was dashed from my hands, and I whirled downward
+in a series of bounds, each longer than the last; now over ice,
+now into rocks, striking my head four or five times,
+each time with increased force.  The last bound sent me
+spinning through the air in a leap of fifty or sixty feet,
+from one side of the gully to the other, and I struck
+the rocks, luckily, with the whole of my left side.
+They caught my clothes for a moment, and I fell back on
+to the snow with motion arrested.  My head fortunately
+came the right side up, and a few frantic catches brought
+me to a halt, in the neck of the gully and on the verge
+of the precipice.  Baton, hat, and veil skimmed by
+and disappeared, and the crash of the rocks&mdash;which I had
+started&mdash;as they fell on to the glacier, told how narrow
+had been the escape from utter destruction.  As it was,
+I fell nearly two hundred feet in seven or eight bounds.
+Ten feet more would have taken me in one gigantic leap
+of eight hundred feet on to the glacier below.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p415"></a><img alt="p415.jpg (66K)" src="images/p415.jpg" height="857" width="561">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"The situation was sufficiently serious.  The rocks could
+not be let go for a moment, and the blood was spurting
+out of more than twenty cuts.  The most serious ones were
+in the head, and I vainly tried to close them with one hand,
+while holding on with the other.  It was useless;
+the blood gushed out in blinding jets at each pulsation.
+At last, in a moment of inspiration, I kicked out a big
+lump of snow and struck it as plaster on my head.
+The idea was a happy one, and the flow of blood diminished.
+Then, scrambling up, I got, not a moment too soon, to a
+place of safety, and fainted away.  The sun was setting
+when consciousness returned, and it was pitch-dark before
+the Great Staircase was descended; but by a combination
+of luck and care, the whole four thousand seven hundred
+feet of descent to Breil was accomplished without a slip,
+or once missing the way."
+
+<p>His wounds kept him abed some days.  Then he got up
+and climbed that mountain again.  That is the way with
+a true Alp-climber; the more fun he has, the more he wants.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p417"></a><img alt="p417.jpg (19K)" src="images/p417.jpg" height="423" width="449">
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch37"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XXXVII</h2>
+<h3>[Our Imposing Column Starts Upward]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>After I had finished my readings, I was no longer myself;
+I was tranced, uplifted, intoxicated, by the almost
+incredible perils and adventures I had been following
+my authors through, and the triumphs I had been sharing
+with them.  I sat silent some time, then turned to Harris
+and said:
+
+<p>"My mind is made up."
+
+<p>Something in my tone struck him: and when he glanced
+at my eye and read what was written there, his face
+paled perceptibly.  He hesitated a moment, then said:
+
+<p>"Speak."
+
+<p>I answered, with perfect calmness:
+
+<p>"I will ascend the Riffelberg."
+
+<p>If I had shot my poor friend he could not have fallen from
+his chair more suddenly.  If I had been his father he could
+not have pleaded harder to get me to give up my purpose.
+But I turned a deaf ear to all he said.  When he perceived
+at last that nothing could alter my determination,
+he ceased to urge, and for a while the deep silence was
+broken only by his sobs.  I sat in marble resolution,
+with my eyes fixed upon vacancy, for in spirit I was already
+wrestling with the perils of the mountains, and my friend
+sat gazing at me in adoring admiration through his tears.
+At last he threw himself upon me in a loving embrace and
+exclaimed in broken tones:
+
+<p>"Your Harris will never desert you.  We will die together."
+
+<p>I cheered the noble fellow with praises, and soon his
+fears were forgotten and he was eager for the adventure.
+He wanted to summon the guides at once and leave at
+two in the morning, as he supposed the custom was;
+but I explained that nobody was looking at that hour;
+and that the start in the dark was not usually made from
+the village but from the first night's resting-place
+on the mountain side.  I said we would leave the village
+at 3 or 4 P.M. on the morrow; meantime he could notify
+the guides, and also let the public know of the attempt
+which we proposed to make.
+
+<p>I went to bed, but not to sleep.  No man can sleep when he
+is about to undertake one of these Alpine exploits.
+I tossed feverishly all night long, and was glad enough
+when I heard the clock strike half past eleven and knew it
+was time to get up for dinner.  I rose, jaded and rusty,
+and went to the noon meal, where I found myself the center
+of interest and curiosity; for the news was already abroad.
+It is not easy to eat calmly when you are a lion; but it is
+very pleasant, nevertheless.
+
+<p>As usual, at Zermatt, when a great ascent is about to
+be undertaken, everybody, native and foreign, laid aside
+his own projects and took up a good position to observe
+the start.  The expedition consisted of 198 persons,
+including the mules; or 205, including the cows.
+As follows:
+<br>
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+
+<tr><td> &nbsp;</td><td>   CHIEFS OF SERVICE     </td><td> &nbsp;         </td><td>SUBORDINATES</td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;  </td><td> Myself                       </td><td>1 </td><td>Veterinary Surgeon</td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;  </td><td>  Mr. Harris                   </td><td>1 </td><td>Butler </td></tr>
+<tr><td>17 </td><td>Guides                    </td><td>12 </td><td>Waiters          </td></tr>
+<tr><td>4 </td><td>Surgeons                    </td><td>1 </td><td>Footman </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Geologist&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;                   </td><td>1 </td><td>Barber </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Botanist                    </td><td>1 </td><td>Head Cook </td></tr>
+<tr><td>3 </td><td>Chaplains                   </td><td>9 </td><td>Assistants</td></tr>
+<tr><td>2 </td><td>Draftsman                   </td><td>4 </td><td>Pastry Cooks</td></tr>
+<tr><td>15 </td><td>Barkeepers                 </td><td>1 </td><td>Confectionery Artist </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Latinist     </td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
+<tr><td> &nbsp;  </td><td>TRANSPORTATION, ETC.</td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
+<tr><td>27 </td><td>Porters                    </td><td>3 </td><td>Coarse Washers and Ironers</td></tr>
+<tr><td>44 </td><td>Mules                      </td><td>1 </td><td>Fine ditto </td></tr>
+<tr><td>44 </td><td>Muleteers                  </td><td>7 </td><td>Cows </td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;   </td><td>&nbsp;               </td><td>2 </td><td>Milkers</td></tr>
+
+
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+<center>Total, 154 men, 51 animals.  Grand Total, 205.</center>
+
+<br><br><br>
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+
+<tr><td>  &nbsp; </td><td>&nbsp;&nbsp;RATIONS, ETC.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;       </td><td> &nbsp;           </td><td> APPARATUS</td></tr>
+<tr><td>&nbsp;</td></tr>
+<tr><td>16 </td><td>Cases Hams                </td><td>25 </td><td>Spring Mattresses </td></tr>
+<tr><td>2 </td><td>Barrels Flour               </td><td>2 </td><td>Hair ditto </td></tr>
+<tr><td>22 </td><td>Barrels Whiskey             </td><td>&nbsp;</td><td> Bedding for same </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Barrel Sugar                </td><td>2 </td><td>Mosquito-nets </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Keg Lemons                 </td><td>29 </td><td>Tents </td></tr>
+<tr><td>2,000&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </td><td>Cigars                  </td><td> &nbsp; </td><td>Scientific Instruments</td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Barrel Pies                </td><td>97 </td><td>Ice-axes </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Ton of Pemmican             </td><td>5 </td><td>Cases Dynamite </td></tr>
+<tr><td>143 </td><td>Pair Crutches             </td><td>7 </td><td>Cans Nitroglycerin </td></tr>
+<tr><td>2 </td><td>Barrels Arnica             </td><td>22 </td><td>40-foot Ladders </td></tr>
+<tr><td>1 </td><td>Bale of Lint                </td><td>2 </td><td>Miles of Rope </td></tr>
+<tr><td>27 </td><td>Kegs Paregoric           </td><td>154 </td><td>Umbrellas</td></tr>
+
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br>
+<p>It was full four o'clock in the afternoon before my cavalcade
+was entirely ready.  At that hour it began to move.
+In point of numbers and spectacular effect, it was the most
+imposing expedition that had ever marched from Zermatt.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p421"></a><img alt="p421.jpg (56K)" src="images/p421.jpg" height="477" width="561">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I commanded the chief guide to arrange the men and animals
+in single file, twelve feet apart, and lash them all
+together on a strong rope.  He objected that the first
+two miles was a dead level, with plenty of room, and that
+the rope was never used except in very dangerous places.
+But I would not listen to that.  My reading had taught
+me that many serious accidents had happened in the Alps
+simply from not having the people tied up soon enough;
+I was not going to add one to the list.  The guide then
+obeyed my order.
+
+<p>When the procession stood at ease, roped together,
+and ready to move, I never saw a finer sight.  It was 3,122
+feet long&mdash;over half a mile; every man and me was on foot,
+and had on his green veil and his blue goggles, and his
+white rag around his hat, and his coil of rope over one
+shoulder and under the other, and his ice-ax in his belt,
+and carried his alpenstock in his left hand, his umbrella
+(closed) in his right, and his crutches slung at his back.
+The burdens of the pack-mules and the horns of the cows
+were decked with the Edelweiss and the Alpine rose.
+
+<p>I and my agent were the only persons mounted.  We were
+in the post of danger in the extreme rear, and tied
+securely to five guides apiece.  Our armor-bearers carried
+our ice-axes, alpenstocks, and other implements for us.
+We were mounted upon very small donkeys, as a measure
+of safety; in time of peril we could straighten our legs
+and stand up, and let the donkey walk from under.
+Still, I cannot recommend this sort of animal&mdash;at least
+for excursions of mere pleasure&mdash;because his ears interrupt
+the view.  I and my agent possessed the regulation
+mountaineering costumes, but concluded to leave them behind.
+Out of respect for the great numbers of tourists of both
+sexes who would be assembled in front of the hotels
+to see us pass, and also out of respect for the many
+tourists whom we expected to encounter on our expedition,
+we decided to make the ascent in evening dress.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p422"></a><img alt="p422.jpg (66K)" src="images/p422.jpg" height="749" width="587">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We watered the caravan at the cold stream which rushes
+down a trough near the end of the village, and soon
+afterward left the haunts of civilization behind us.
+About half past five o'clock we arrived at a bridge which
+spans the Visp, and after throwing over a detachment to see
+if it was safe, the caravan crossed without accident.
+The way now led, by a gentle ascent, carpeted with
+fresh green grass, to the church at Winkelmatten.
+Without stopping to examine this edifice, I executed
+a flank movement to the right and crossed the bridge
+over the Findelenbach, after first testing its strength.
+Here I deployed to the right again, and presently entered
+an inviting stretch of meadowland which was unoccupied save
+by a couple of deserted huts toward the furthest extremity.
+These meadows offered an excellent camping-place. We
+pitched our tents, supped, established a proper grade,
+recorded the events of the day, and then went to bed.
+
+<p>We rose at two in the morning and dressed by candle-light. It
+was a dismal and chilly business.  A few stars were shining,
+but the general heavens were overcast, and the great shaft
+of the Matterhorn was draped in a cable pall of clouds.
+The chief guide advised a delay; he said he feared it
+was going to rain.  We waited until nine o'clock, and then
+got away in tolerably clear weather.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p423"></a><img alt="p423.jpg (85K)" src="images/p423.jpg" height="430" width="650">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Our course led up some terrific steeps, densely wooded with
+larches and cedars, and traversed by paths which the rains
+had guttered and which were obstructed by loose stones.
+To add to the danger and inconvenience, we were constantly
+meeting returning tourists on foot and horseback,
+and as constantly being crowded and battered by ascending
+tourists who were in a hurry and wanted to get by.
+
+<p>Our troubles thickened.  About the middle of the afternoon
+the seventeen guides called a halt and held a consultation.
+After consulting an hour they said their first suspicion
+remained intact&mdash;that is to say, they believed they
+were lost.  I asked if they did not KNOW it? No, they said,
+they COULDN'T absolutely know whether they were lost or not,
+because none of them had ever been in that part of the
+country before.  They had a strong instinct that they
+were lost, but they had no proofs&mdash;except that they
+did not know where they were.  They had met no tourists
+for some time, and they considered that a suspicious sign.
+
+<p>Plainly we were in an ugly fix.  The guides were naturally
+unwilling to go alone and seek a way out of the difficulty;
+so we all went together.  For better security we moved
+slow and cautiously, for the forest was very dense.
+We did not move up the mountain, but around it, hoping to
+strike across the old trail.  Toward nightfall, when we
+were about tired out, we came up against a rock as big
+as a cottage.  This barrier took all the remaining spirit
+out of the men, and a panic of fear and despair ensued.
+They moaned and wept, and said they should never see
+their homes and their dear ones again.  Then they began
+to upbraid me for bringing them upon this fatal expedition.
+Some even muttered threats against me.
+
+<p>Clearly it was no time to show weakness.  So I made
+a speech in which I said that other Alp-climbers had been
+in as perilous a position as this, and yet by courage
+and perseverance had escaped.  I promised to stand by them,
+I promised to rescue them.  I closed by saying we had plenty
+of provisions to maintain us for quite a siege&mdash;and did they
+suppose Zermatt would allow half a mile of men and mules
+to mysteriously disappear during any considerable time,
+right above their noses, and make no inquiries? No,
+Zermatt would send out searching-expeditions and we should be
+saved.
+
+<p>This speech had a great effect.  The men pitched the tents
+with some little show of cheerfulness, and we were snugly
+under cover when the night shut down.  I now reaped
+the reward of my wisdom in providing one article which is
+not mentioned in any book of Alpine adventure but this.
+I refer to the paregoric.  But for that beneficent drug,
+would have not one of those men slept a moment during that
+fearful night.  But for that gentle persuader they must
+have tossed, unsoothed, the night through; for the whiskey
+was for me.  Yes, they would have risen in the morning
+unfitted for their heavy task.  As it was, everybody slept
+but my agent and me&mdash;only we and the barkeepers.
+I would not permit myself to sleep at such a time.
+I considered myself responsible for all those lives.
+I meant to be on hand and ready, in case of avalanches
+up there, but I did not know it then.
+
+<p>We watched the weather all through that awful night,
+and kept an eye on the barometer, to be prepared for
+the least change.  There was not the slightest change
+recorded by the instrument, during the whole time.
+Words cannot describe the comfort that that friendly,
+hopeful, steadfast thing was to me in that season
+of trouble.  It was a defective barometer, and had no hand
+but the stationary brass pointer, but I did not know that
+until afterward.  If I should be in such a situation again,
+I should not wish for any barometer but that one.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p427"></a><img alt="p427.jpg (12K)" src="images/p427.jpg" height="643" width="207">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>All hands rose at two in the morning and took breakfast,
+and as soon as it was light we roped ourselves together
+and went at that rock.  For some time we tried the hook-rope
+and other means of scaling it, but without success&mdash;that is,
+without perfect success.  The hook caught once, and Harris
+started up it hand over hand, but the hold broke and if
+there had not happened to be a chaplain sitting underneath
+at the time, Harris would certainly have been crippled.
+As it was, it was the chaplain.  He took to his crutches,
+and I ordered the hook-rope to be laid aside.
+It was too dangerous an implement where so many people
+are standing around.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p428a"></a><img alt="p428a.jpg (10K)" src="images/p428a.jpg" height="369" width="259">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We were puzzled for a while; then somebody thought of
+the ladders.  One of these was leaned against the rock,
+and the men went up it tied together in couples.
+Another ladder was sent up for use in descending.
+At the end of half an hour everybody was over, and that rock
+was conquered.  We gave our first grand shout of triumph.
+But the joy was short-lived, for somebody asked how we were
+going to get the animals over.
+
+<p>This was a serious difficulty; in fact, it was an impossibility.
+The courage of the men began to waver immediately; once more
+we were threatened with a panic.  But when the danger
+was most imminent, we were saved in a mysterious way.
+A mule which had attracted attention from the beginning
+by its disposition to experiment, tried to eat a five-pound
+can of nitroglycerin.  This happened right alongside
+the rock.  The explosion threw us all to the ground,
+and covered us with dirt and debris; it frightened
+us extremely, too, for the crash it made was deafening,
+and the violence of the shock made the ground tremble.
+However, we were grateful, for the rock was gone.
+Its place was occupied by a new cellar, about thirty
+feet across, by fifteen feet deep.  The explosion was
+heard as far as Zermatt; and an hour and a half afterward,
+many citizens of that town were knocked down and quite
+seriously injured by descending portions of mule meat,
+frozen solid.  This shows, better than any estimate
+in figures, how high the experimenter went.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p428b"></a><img alt="p428b.jpg (14K)" src="images/p428b.jpg" height="331" width="387">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We had nothing to do, now, but bridge the cellar and proceed
+on our way.  With a cheer the men went at their work.
+I attended to the engineering, myself.  I appointed a strong
+detail to cut down trees with ice-axes and trim them for
+piers to support the bridge.  This was a slow business,
+for ice-axes are not good to cut wood with.  I caused
+my piers to be firmly set up in ranks in the cellar,
+and upon them I laid six of my forty-foot ladders,
+side by side, and laid six more on top of them.
+Upon this bridge I caused a bed of boughs to be spread,
+and on top of the boughs a bed of earth six inches deep.
+I stretched ropes upon either side to serve as railings,
+and then my bridge was complete.  A train of elephants
+could have crossed it in safety and comfort.  By nightfall
+the caravan was on the other side and the ladders were
+taken up.
+
+<p>Next morning we went on in good spirits for a while,
+though our way was slow and difficult, by reason of the
+steep and rocky nature of the ground and the thickness
+of the forest; but at last a dull despondency crept into
+the men's faces and it was apparent that not only they,
+but even the guides, were now convinced that we were lost.
+The fact that we still met no tourists was a circumstance
+that was but too significant.  Another thing seemed to
+suggest that we were not only lost, but very badly lost;
+for there must surely be searching-parties on the road
+before this time, yet we had seen no sign of them.
+
+<p>Demoralization was spreading; something must be done,
+and done quickly, too.  Fortunately, I am not unfertile
+in expedients.  I contrived one now which commended itself
+to all, for it promised well.  I took three-quarters
+of a mile of rope and fastened one end of it around
+the waist of a guide, and told him to go find the road,
+while the caravan waited.  I instructed him to guide himself
+back by the rope, in case of failure; in case of success,
+he was to give the rope a series of violent jerks,
+whereupon the Expedition would go to him at once.
+He departed, and in two minutes had disappeared among
+the trees.  I payed out the rope myself, while everybody
+watched the crawling thing with eager eyes.  The rope
+crept away quite slowly, at times, at other times with
+some briskness.  Twice or thrice we seemed to get the signal,
+and a shout was just ready to break from the men's lips
+when they perceived it was a false alarm.  But at last,
+when over half a mile of rope had slidden away, it stopped
+gliding and stood absolutely still&mdash;one minute&mdash;two
+minutes&mdash;three&mdash;while we held our breath and watched.
+
+<p>Was the guide resting? Was he scanning the country from
+some high point? Was he inquiring of a chance mountaineer?
+Stop,&mdash;had he fainted from excess of fatigue and anxiety?
+
+<p>This thought gave us a shock.  I was in the very first act
+of detailing an Expedition to succor him, when the cord
+was assailed with a series of such frantic jerks that I
+could hardly keep hold of it.  The huzza that went up,
+then, was good to hear.  "Saved! saved!" was the word
+that rang out, all down the long rank of the caravan.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p430"></a><img alt="p430.jpg (10K)" src="images/p430.jpg" height="365" width="245">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We rose up and started at once.  We found the route to be
+good enough for a while, but it began to grow difficult,
+by and by, and this feature steadily increased.  When we
+judged we had gone half a mile, we momently expected
+to see the guide; but no, he was not visible anywhere;
+neither was he waiting, for the rope was still moving,
+consequently he was doing the same.  This argued that he
+had not found the road, yet, but was marching to it
+with some peasant.  There was nothing for us to do but
+plod along&mdash;and this we did.  At the end of three hours
+we were still plodding.  This was not only mysterious,
+but exasperating.  And very fatiguing, too; for we had
+tried hard, along at first, to catch up with the guide,
+but had only fagged ourselves, in vain; for although he
+was traveling slowly he was yet able to go faster than the
+hampered caravan over such ground.
+
+<p>At three in the afternoon we were nearly dead with
+exhaustion&mdash;and still the rope was slowly gliding out.
+The murmurs against the guide had been growing steadily,
+and at last they were become loud and savage.
+A mutiny ensued.  The men refused to proceed.  They declared
+that we had been traveling over and over the same ground
+all day, in a kind of circle.  They demanded that our
+end of the rope be made fast to a tree, so as to halt
+the guide until we could overtake him and kill him.
+This was not an unreasonable requirement, so I gave the order.
+
+<p>As soon as the rope was tied, the Expedition moved
+forward with that alacrity which the thirst for
+vengeance usually inspires.  But after a tiresome march
+of almost half a mile, we came to a hill covered thick
+with a crumbly rubbish of stones, and so steep that no
+man of us all was now in a condition to climb it.
+Every attempt failed, and ended in crippling somebody.
+Within twenty minutes I had five men on crutches.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p431"></a><img alt="p431.jpg (22K)" src="images/p431.jpg" height="319" width="585">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Whenever a climber tried to assist himself by the rope,
+it yielded and let him tumble backward.  The frequency
+of this result suggested an idea to me.  I ordered
+the caravan to 'bout face and form in marching order;
+I then made the tow-rope fast to the rear mule, and gave
+the command:
+
+<p>"Mark time&mdash;by the right flank&mdash;forward&mdash;march!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p432"></a><img alt="p432.jpg (48K)" src="images/p432.jpg" height="533" width="583">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The procession began to move, to the impressive strains
+of a battle-chant, and I said to myself, "Now, if the rope
+don't break I judge THIS will fetch that guide into the camp."
+I watched the rope gliding down the hill, and presently
+when I was all fixed for triumph I was confronted
+by a bitter disappointment; there was no guide tied
+to the rope, it was only a very indignant old black ram.
+The fury of the baffled Expedition exceeded all bounds.
+They even wanted to wreak their unreasoning vengeance on this
+innocent dumb brute.  But I stood between them and their prey,
+menaced by a bristling wall of ice-axes and alpenstocks,
+and proclaimed that there was but one road to this murder,
+and it was directly over my corpse.  Even as I spoke I
+saw that my doom was sealed, except a miracle supervened
+to divert these madmen from their fell purpose.  I see
+the sickening wall of weapons now; I see that advancing
+host as I saw it then, I see the hate in those cruel eyes;
+I remember how I drooped my head upon my breast,
+I feel again the sudden earthquake shock in my rear,
+administered by the very ram I was sacrificing myself to save;
+I hear once more the typhoon of laughter that burst from
+the assaulting column as I clove it from van to rear
+like a Sepoy shot from a Rodman gun.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p433"></a><img alt="p433.jpg (36K)" src="images/p433.jpg" height="399" width="579">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I was saved.  Yes, I was saved, and by the merciful instinct
+of ingratitude which nature had planted in the breast
+of that treacherous beast.  The grace which eloquence
+had failed to work in those men's hearts, had been wrought
+by a laugh.  The ram was set free and my life was spared.
+
+<p>We lived to find out that that guide had deserted us as soon
+as he had placed a half-mile between himself and us.
+To avert suspicion, he had judged it best that the line
+should continue to move; so he caught that ram, and at
+the time that he was sitting on it making the rope fast
+to it, we were imagining that he was lying in a swoon,
+overcome by fatigue and distress.  When he allowed the ram
+to get up it fell to plunging around, trying to rid itself
+of the rope, and this was the signal which we had risen
+up with glad shouts to obey.  We had followed this ram
+round and round in a circle all day&mdash;a thing which was
+proven by the discovery that we had watered the Expedition
+seven times at one and same spring in seven hours.
+As expert a woodman as I am, I had somehow failed to notice
+this until my attention was called to it by a hog.
+This hog was always wallowing there, and as he was the
+only hog we saw, his frequent repetition, together with
+his unvarying similarity to himself, finally caused me
+to reflect that he must be the same hog, and this led
+me to the deduction that this must be the same spring,
+also&mdash;which indeed it was.
+
+<p>I made a note of this curious thing, as showing
+in a striking manner the relative difference between
+glacial action and the action of the hog.  It is now
+a well-established fact that glaciers move; I consider
+that my observations go to show, with equal conclusiveness,
+that a hog in a spring does not move.  I shall be glad
+to receive the opinions of other observers upon this point.
+
+<p>To return, for an explanatory moment, to that guide,
+and then I shall be done with him.  After leaving the ram
+tied to the rope, he had wandered at large a while,
+and then happened to run across a cow.  Judging that
+a cow would naturally know more than a guide, he took
+her by the tail, and the result justified his judgment.
+She nibbled her leisurely way downhill till it was near
+milking-time, then she struck for home and towed him
+into Zermatt.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p434"></a><img alt="p434.jpg (12K)" src="images/p434.jpg" height="283" width="453">
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch38"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XXXVIII</h2>
+<h3>[I Conquer the Gorner Grat]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>We went into camp on that wild spot to which that ram
+had brought us.  The men were greatly fatigued.
+Their conviction that we were lost was forgotten in the cheer
+of a good supper, and before the reaction had a chance
+to set in, I loaded them up with paregoric and put them to bed.
+
+<p>Next morning I was considering in my mind our desperate
+situation and trying to think of a remedy, when Harris
+came to me with a Baedeker map which showed conclusively
+that the mountain we were on was still in Switzerland&mdash;yes,
+every part of it was in Switzerland.  So we were not lost,
+after all.  This was an immense relief; it lifted the weight
+of two such mountains from my breast.  I immediately
+had the news disseminated and the map was exhibited.
+The effect was wonderful.  As soon as the men saw with
+their own eyes that they knew where they were, and that it
+was only the summit that was lost and not themselves,
+they cheered up instantly and said with one accord,
+let the summit take care of itself.
+
+<p>Our distresses being at an end, I now determined to rest
+the men in camp and give the scientific department of the
+Expedition a chance.  First, I made a barometric observation,
+to get our altitude, but I could not perceive that there
+was any result.  I knew, by my scientific reading,
+that either thermometers or barometers ought to be boiled,
+to make them accurate; I did not know which it was,
+so I boiled them both.  There was still no result;
+so I examined these instruments and discovered that they
+possessed radical blemishes: the barometer had no hand
+but the brass pointer and the ball of the thermometer was
+stuffed with tin-foil. I might have boiled those things
+to rags, and never found out anything.
+
+<p>I hunted up another barometer; it was new and perfect.
+I boiled it half an hour in a pot of bean soup which
+the cooks were making.  The result was unexpected: the
+instrument was not affecting at all, but there was such
+a strong barometer taste to the soup that the head cook,
+who was a most conscientious person, changed its name
+in the bill of fare.  The dish was so greatly liked by all,
+that I ordered the cook to have barometer soup every day.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p436"></a><img alt="p436.jpg (13K)" src="images/p436.jpg" height="361" width="303">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It was believed that the barometer might eventually
+be injured, but I did not care for that.  I had demonstrated
+to my satisfaction that it could not tell how high
+a mountain was, therefore I had no real use for it.
+Changes in the weather I could take care of without it;
+I did not wish to know when the weather was going to be good,
+what I wanted to know was when it was going to be bad,
+and this I could find out from Harris's corns.  Harris had
+had his corns tested and regulated at the government
+observatory in Heidelberg, and one could depend upon them
+with confidence.  So I transferred the new barometer to
+the cooking department, to be used for the official mess.
+It was found that even a pretty fair article of soup could
+be made from the defective barometer; so I allowed that one
+to be transferred to the subordinate mess.
+
+<p>I next boiled the thermometer, and got a most excellent result;
+the mercury went up to about 200 degrees Fahrenheit.
+In the opinion of the other scientists of the Expedition,
+this seemed to indicate that we had attained the extraordinary
+altitude of two hundred thousand feet above sea-level.
+Science places the line of eternal snow at about ten thousand
+feet above sea-level. There was no snow where we were,
+consequently it was proven that the eternal snow-line
+ceases somewhere above the ten-thousand-foot level and
+does not begin any more.  This was an interesting fact,
+and one which had not been observed by any observer before.
+It was as valuable as interesting, too, since it would open
+up the deserted summits of the highest Alps to population
+and agriculture.  It was a proud thing to be where we were,
+yet it caused us a pang to reflect that but for that ram we
+might just as well have been two hundred thousand feet higher.
+
+<p>The success of my last experiment induced me to try an
+experiment with my photographic apparatus.  I got it out,
+and boiled one of my cameras, but the thing was a failure;
+it made the wood swell up and burst, and I could not see
+that the lenses were any better than they were before.
+
+<p>I now concluded to boil a guide.  It might improve him,
+it could not impair his usefulness.  But I was not
+allowed to proceed.  Guides have no feeling for science,
+and this one would not consent to be made uncomfortable
+in its interest.
+
+<p>In the midst of my scientific work, one of those
+needless accidents happened which are always occurring
+among the ignorant and thoughtless.  A porter shot
+at a chamois and missed it and crippled the Latinist.
+This was not a serious matter to me, for a Latinist's
+duties are as well performed on crutches as
+otherwise&mdash;but the fact remained that if the Latinist had not
+happened to be in the way a mule would have got
+that load.  That would have been quite another matter,
+for when it comes down to a question of value there is
+a palpable difference between a Latinist and a mule.
+I could not depend on having a Latinist in the right
+place every time; so, to make things safe, I ordered
+that in the future the chamois must not be hunted within
+limits of the camp with any other weapon than the forefinger.
+
+<p>My nerves had hardly grown quiet after this affair when
+they got another shake-up&mdash;one which utterly unmanned
+me for a moment: a rumor swept suddenly through the camp
+that one of the barkeepers had fallen over a precipice!
+
+<p>However, it turned out that it was only a chaplain.
+I had laid in an extra force of chaplains, purposely to
+be prepared for emergencies like this, but by some
+unaccountable oversight had come away rather short-handed
+in the matter of barkeepers.
+
+<p>On the following morning we moved on, well refreshed and in
+good spirits.  I remember this day with peculiar pleasure,
+because it saw our road restored to us.  Yes, we found
+our road again, and in quite an extraordinary way.
+We had plodded along some two hours and a half, when we came
+up against a solid mass of rock about twenty feet high.
+I did not need to be instructed by a mule this time.
+I was already beginning to know more than any mule in
+the Expedition.  I at once put in a blast of dynamite,
+and lifted that rock out of the way.  But to my surprise
+and mortification, I found that there had been a chalet
+on top of it.
+
+<p>I picked up such members of the family as fell in my vicinity,
+and subordinates of my corps collected the rest.
+None of these poor people were injured, happily, but they
+were much annoyed.  I explained to the head chaleteer
+just how the thing happened, and that I was only searching
+for the road, and would certainly have given him timely
+notice if I had known he was up there.  I said I had
+meant no harm, and hoped I had not lowered myself in
+his estimation by raising him a few rods in the air.
+I said many other judicious things, and finally when I
+offered to rebuild his chalet, and pay for the breakages,
+and throw in the cellar, he was mollified and satisfied.
+He hadn't any cellar at all, before; he would not have
+as good a view, now, as formerly, but what he had lost
+in view he had gained in cellar, by exact measurement.
+He said there wasn't another hole like that in the
+mountains&mdash;and he would have been right if the late mule had not tried
+to eat up the nitroglycerin.
+
+<p>I put a hundred and sixteen men at work, and they rebuilt
+the chalet from its own debris in fifteen minutes.
+It was a good deal more picturesque than it was before,
+too.  The man said we were now on the Feil-Stutz, above
+the Schwegmatt&mdash;information which I was glad to get,
+since it gave us our position to a degree of particularity
+which we had not been accustomed to for a day or so.
+We also learned that we were standing at the foot
+of the Riffelberg proper, and that the initial chapter
+of our work was completed.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p439"></a><img alt="p439.jpg (57K)" src="images/p439.jpg" height="659" width="401">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We had a fine view, from here, of the energetic Visp,
+as it makes its first plunge into the world from under a huge
+arch of solid ice, worn through the foot-wall of the great
+Gorner Glacier; and we could also see the Furggenbach,
+which is the outlet of the Furggen Glacier.
+
+<p>The mule-road to the summit of the Riffelberg passed right
+in front of the chalet, a circumstance which we almost
+immediately noticed, because a procession of tourists was
+filing along it pretty much all the time.
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+   "Pretty much" may not be elegant English, but it is
+    high time it was.  There is no elegant word or phrase
+    which means just what it means.&mdash;M.T.
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+<p>The chaleteer's
+business consisted in furnishing refreshments to tourists.
+My blast had interrupted this trade for a few minutes,
+by breaking all the bottles on the place; but I gave
+the man a lot of whiskey to sell for Alpine champagne,
+and a lot of vinegar which would answer for Rhine wine,
+consequently trade was soon as brisk as ever.
+
+<p>Leaving the Expedition outside to rest, I quartered myself
+in the chalet, with Harris, proposing to correct my journals
+and scientific observations before continuing the ascent.
+I had hardly begun my work when a tall, slender, vigorous
+American youth of about twenty-three, who was on his
+way down the mountain, entered and came toward me with
+that breezy self-complacency which is the adolescent's
+idea of the well-bred ease of the man of the world.
+His hair was short and parted accurately in the middle,
+and he had all the look of an American person who would
+be likely to begin his signature with an initial,
+and spell his middle name out.  He introduced himself,
+smiling a smirky smile borrowed from the courtiers
+of the stage, extended a fair-skinned talon, and while
+he gripped my hand in it he bent his body forward
+three times at the hips, as the stage courtier does,
+and said in the airiest and most condescending
+and patronizing way&mdash;I quite remember his exact language:
+
+<p>"Very glad to make your acquaintance, 'm sure; very glad indeed,
+assure you.  I've read all your little efforts and greatly
+admired them, and when I heard you were here, I ..."
+
+<p>I indicated a chair, and he sat down.  This grandee was
+the grandson of an American of considerable note in his day,
+and not wholly forgotten yet&mdash;a man who came so near
+being a great man that he was quite generally accounted
+one while he lived.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p441"></a><img alt="p441.jpg (31K)" src="images/p441.jpg" height="593" width="387">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I slowly paced the floor, pondering scientific problems,
+and heard this conversation:
+
+<p>GRANDSON.  First visit to Europe?
+
+<p>HARRIS.  Mine? Yes.
+
+<p>G.S. (With a soft reminiscent sigh suggestive of bygone
+joys that may be tasted in their freshness but once.)
+Ah, I know what it is to you.  A first visit!&mdash;ah,
+the romance of it! I wish I could feel it again.
+
+<p>H. Yes, I find it exceeds all my dreams.  It is enchantment.
+I go...
+
+<p>G.S. (With a dainty gesture of the hand signifying "Spare
+me your callow enthusiasms, good friend.") Yes, _I_ know,
+I know; you go to cathedrals, and exclaim; and you drag
+through league-long picture-galleries and exclaim; and you
+stand here, and there, and yonder, upon historic ground,
+and continue to exclaim; and you are permeated with
+your first crude conceptions of Art, and are proud
+and happy.  Ah, yes, proud and happy&mdash;that expresses it.
+Yes-yes, enjoy it&mdash;it is right&mdash;it is an innocent revel.
+
+<p>H. And you? Don't you do these things now?
+
+<p>G.S. I! Oh, that is VERY good! My dear sir, when you
+are as old a traveler as I am, you will not ask such
+a question as that.  _I_ visit the regulation gallery,
+moon around the regulation cathedral, do the worn round
+of the regulation sights, YET?&mdash;Excuse me!
+
+<p>H. Well, what DO you do, then?
+
+<p>G.S. Do? I flit&mdash;and flit&mdash;for I am ever on the wing&mdash;but I
+avoid the herd.  Today I am in Paris, tomorrow in Berlin,
+anon in Rome; but you would look for me in vain in the
+galleries of the Louvre or the common resorts of the
+gazers in those other capitals.  If you would find me,
+you must look in the unvisited nooks and corners where
+others never think of going.  One day you will find me
+making myself at home in some obscure peasant's cabin,
+another day you will find me in some forgotten castle
+worshiping some little gem or art which the careless eye
+has overlooked and which the unexperienced would despise;
+again you will find me as guest in the inner sanctuaries
+of palaces while the herd is content to get a hurried
+glimpse of the unused chambers by feeing a servant.
+
+<p>H. You are a GUEST in such places?
+
+<p>G.S. And a welcoming one.
+
+<p>H. It is surprising.  How does it come?
+
+<p>G.S. My grandfather's name is a passport to all the courts
+in Europe.  I have only to utter that name and every
+door is open to me.  I flit from court to court at my
+own free will and pleasure, and am always welcome.
+I am as much at home in the palaces of Europe as you are
+among your relatives.  I know every titled person in Europe,
+I think.  I have my pockets full of invitations all the time.
+I am under promise to go to Italy, where I am to be the
+guest of a succession of the noblest houses in the land.
+In Berlin my life is a continued round of gaiety in the
+imperial palace.  It is the same, wherever I go.
+
+<p>H. It must be very pleasant.  But it must make Boston
+seem a little slow when you are at home.
+
+<p>G.S. Yes, of course it does.  But I don't go home much.
+There's no life there&mdash;little to feed a man's higher nature.
+Boston's very narrow, you know.  She doesn't know it, and you
+couldn't convince her of it&mdash;so I say nothing when I'm
+there: where's the use? Yes, Boston is very narrow, but she
+has such a good opinion of herself that she can't see it.
+A man who has traveled as much as I have, and seen as much
+of the world, sees it plain enough, but he can't cure it,
+you know, so the best is to leave it and seek a sphere
+which is more in harmony with his tastes and culture.
+I run across there, once a year, perhaps, when I have
+nothing important on hand, but I'm very soon back again.
+I spend my time in Europe.
+
+<p>H. I see.  You map out your plans and ...
+
+<p>G.S. No, excuse me.  I don't map out any plans.  I simply
+follow the inclination of the day.  I am limited by no ties,
+no requirements, I am not bound in any way.  I am too old
+a traveler to hamper myself with deliberate purposes.
+I am simply a traveler&mdash;an inveterate traveler&mdash;a man of
+the world, in a word&mdash;I can call myself by no other name.
+I do not say, "I am going here, or I am going there"&mdash;I
+say nothing at all, I only act.  For instance, next week
+you may find me the guest of a grandee of Spain, or you
+may find me off for Venice, or flitting toward Dresden.
+I shall probably go to Egypt presently; friends will say
+to friends, "He is at the Nile cataracts"&mdash;and at that
+very moment they will be surprised to learn that I'm away
+off yonder in India somewhere.  I am a constant surprise
+to people.  They are always saying, "Yes, he was in Jerusalem
+when we heard of him last, but goodness knows where he
+is now."
+
+<p>Presently the Grandson rose to leave&mdash;discovered he
+had an appointment with some Emperor, perhaps.  He did
+his graces over again: gripped me with one talon,
+at arm's-length, pressed his hat against his stomach
+with the other, bent his body in the middle three times,
+murmuring:
+
+<p>"Pleasure, 'm sure; great pleasure, 'm sure.  Wish you
+much success."
+
+<p>Then he removed his gracious presence.  It is a great
+and solemn thing to have a grandfather.
+
+<p>I have not purposed to misrepresent this boy in any way,
+for what little indignation he excited in me soon
+passed and left nothing behind it but compassion.
+One cannot keep up a grudge against a vacuum.
+I have tried to repeat this lad's very words;
+if I have failed anywhere I have at least not failed
+to reproduce the marrow and meaning of what he said.
+He and the innocent chatterbox whom I met on the Swiss
+lake are the most unique and interesting specimens of
+Young America I came across during my foreign tramping.
+I have made honest portraits of them, not caricatures.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p444"></a><img alt="p444.jpg (14K)" src="images/p444.jpg" height="353" width="305">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The Grandson of twenty-three referred to himself five
+or six times as an "old traveler," and as many as three
+times (with a serene complacency which was maddening)
+as a "man of the world." There was something very delicious
+about his leaving Boston to her "narrowness," unreproved
+and uninstructed.
+
+<p>I formed the caravan in marching order, presently,
+and after riding down the line to see that it was
+properly roped together, gave the command to proceed.
+In a little while the road carried us to open, grassy land.
+We were above the troublesome forest, now, and had an
+uninterrupted view, straight before us, of our
+summit&mdash;the summit of the Riffelberg.
+
+<p>We followed the mule-road, a zigzag course, now to the right,
+now to the left, but always up, and always crowded and
+incommoded by going and coming files of reckless tourists
+who were never, in a single instance, tied together.
+I was obliged to exert the utmost care and caution,
+for in many places the road was not two yards wide,
+and often the lower side of it sloped away in slanting
+precipices eight and even nine feet deep.  I had to
+encourage the men constantly, to keep them from giving
+way to their unmanly fears.
+
+<p>We might have made the summit before night, but for a
+delay caused by the loss of an umbrella.  I was allowing
+the umbrella to remain lost, but the men murmured,
+and with reason, for in this exposed region we stood
+in peculiar need of protection against avalanches;
+so I went into camp and detached a strong party to go
+after the missing article.
+
+<p>The difficulties of the next morning were severe,
+but our courage was high, for our goal was near.
+At noon we conquered the last impediment&mdash;we stood
+at last upon the summit, and without the loss of a
+single man except the mule that ate the glycerin.
+Our great achievement was achieved&mdash;the possibility of
+the impossible was demonstrated, and Harris and I walked
+proudly into the great dining-room of the Riffelberg
+Hotel and stood our alpenstocks up in the corner.
+
+<p>Yes, I had made the grand ascent; but it was a mistake
+to do it in evening dress.  The plug hats were battered,
+the swallow-tails were fluttering rags, mud added no grace,
+the general effect was unpleasant and even disreputable.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p446"></a><img alt="p446.jpg (28K)" src="images/p446.jpg" height="441" width="331">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>There were about seventy-five tourists at the
+hotel&mdash;mainly ladies and little children&mdash;and they gave us
+an admiring welcome which paid us for all our privations
+and sufferings.  The ascent had been made, and the names
+and dates now stand recorded on a stone monument there
+to prove it to all future tourists.
+
+<p>I boiled a thermometer and took an altitude, with a most
+curious result: THE SUMMIT WAS NOT AS HIGH AS THE POINT ON
+THE MOUNTAINSIDE WHERE I HAD TAKEN THE FIRST ALTITUDE.
+Suspecting that I had made an important discovery,
+I prepared to verify it.  There happened to be a still
+higher summit (called the Gorner Grat), above the hotel,
+and notwithstanding the fact that it overlooks a glacier
+from a dizzy height, and that the ascent is difficult
+and dangerous, I resolved to venture up there and boil
+a thermometer.  So I sent a strong party, with some
+borrowed hoes, in charge of two chiefs of service, to dig
+a stairway in the soil all the way up, and this I ascended,
+roped to the guides.  This breezy height was the summit
+proper&mdash;so I accomplished even more than I had originally
+purposed to do.  This foolhardy exploit is recorded on
+another stone monument.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p447"></a><img alt="p447.jpg (53K)" src="images/p447.jpg" height="545" width="489">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I boiled my thermometer, and sure enough, this spot,
+which purported to be two thousand feet higher than the
+locality of the hotel, turned out to be nine thousand
+feet LOWER.  Thus the fact was clearly demonstrated that,
+ABOVE A CERTAIN POINT, THE HIGHER A POINT SEEMS TO BE,
+THE LOWER IT ACTUALLY IS.  Our ascent itself was a
+great achievement, but this contribution to science was
+an inconceivably greater matter.
+
+<p>Cavilers object that water boils at a lower and lower
+temperature the higher and higher you go, and hence the
+apparent anomaly.  I answer that I do not base my theory
+upon what the boiling water does, but upon what a boiled
+thermometer says.  You can't go behind the thermometer.
+
+<p>I had a magnificent view of Monte Rosa, and apparently
+all the rest of the Alpine world, from that high place.
+All the circling horizon was piled high with a mighty
+tumult of snowy crests.  One might have imagined he
+saw before him the tented camps of a beleaguering host
+of Brobdingnagians.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p448"></a><img alt="p448.jpg (44K)" src="images/p448.jpg" height="535" width="537">
+</center>
+<br><br>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote>
+    NOTE.&mdash;I had the very unusual luck to catch one little
+    momentary glimpse of the Matterhorn wholly unencumbered
+    by clouds.  I leveled my photographic apparatus at it
+    without the loss of an instant, and should have got
+    an elegant picture if my donkey had not interfered.
+    It was my purpose to draw this photograph all by myself
+    for my book, but was obliged to put the mountain part
+    of it into the hands of the professional artist because
+    I found I could not do landscape well.
+</blockquote></blockquote>
+
+<p>But lonely, conspicuous, and superb, rose that wonderful
+upright wedge, the Matterhorn.  Its precipitous sides were
+powdered over with snow, and the upper half hidden in thick
+clouds which now and then dissolved to cobweb films and gave
+brief glimpses of the imposing tower as through a veil.
+A little later the Matterhorn took to himself the
+semblance of a volcano; he was stripped naked to his
+apex&mdash;around this circled vast wreaths of white cloud which strung
+slowly out and streamed away slantwise toward the sun,
+a twenty-mile stretch of rolling and tumbling vapor,
+and looking just as if it were pouring out of a crater.
+Later again, one of the mountain's sides was clean and clear,
+and another side densely clothed from base to summit in
+thick smokelike cloud which feathered off and flew around
+the shaft's sharp edge like the smoke around the corners of
+a burning building.  The Matterhorn is always experimenting,
+and always gets up fine effects, too.  In the sunset,
+when all the lower world is palled in gloom, it points
+toward heaven out of the pervading blackness like a finger
+of fire.  In the sunrise&mdash;well, they say it is very fine
+in the sunrise.
+
+<p>Authorities agree that there is no such tremendous "layout"
+of snowy Alpine magnitude, grandeur, and sublimity to be
+seen from any other accessible point as the tourist may see
+from the summit of the Riffelberg.  Therefore, let the
+tourist rope himself up and go there; for I have shown
+that with nerve, caution, and judgment, the thing can be done.
+
+<p>I wish to add one remark, here&mdash;in parentheses, so to
+speak&mdash;suggested by the word "snowy," which I have just used.
+We have all seen hills and mountains and levels with snow
+on them, and so we think we know all the aspects and
+effects produced by snow.  But indeed we do not until
+we have seen the Alps.  Possibly mass and distance add
+something&mdash;at any rate, something IS added.  Among other
+noticeable things, there is a dazzling, intense whiteness
+about the distant Alpine snow, when the sun is on it,
+which one recognizes as peculiar, and not familiar to
+the eye.  The snow which one is accustomed to has a tint
+to it&mdash;painters usually give it a bluish cast&mdash;but there
+is no perceptible tint to the distant Alpine snow when it
+is trying to look its whitest.  As to the unimaginable
+splendor of it when the sun is blazing down on it&mdash;well,
+it simply IS unimaginable.
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch39"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XXXIX</h2>
+<h3>[We Travel by Glacier]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>A guide-book is a queer thing.  The reader has just seen
+what a man who undertakes the great ascent from Zermatt
+to the Riffelberg Hotel must experience.  Yet Baedeker
+makes these strange statements concerning this matter:
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<br>1.  Distance&mdash;3 hours.
+<br>2.  The road cannot be mistaken.
+<br>3.  Guide unnecessary.
+<br>4.  Distance from Riffelberg Hotel to the Gorner Grat, one hour and a half.
+<br>5.  Ascent simple and easy.  Guide unnecessary.
+<br>6.  Elevation of Zermatt above sea-level, 5,315 feet.
+<br>7.  Elevation of Riffelberg Hotel above sea-level, 8,429 feet.
+<br>8.  Elevation of the Gorner Grat above sea-level, 10,289 feet.
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+<p>I have pretty effectually throttled these errors by sending
+him the following demonstrated facts:
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<br>1.  Distance from Zermatt to Riffelberg Hotel, 7 days.
+<br>2.  The road CAN be mistaken.  If I am the first that did it,
+    I want the credit of it, too.
+<br>3.  Guides ARE necessary, for none but a native can read
+    those finger-boards.
+<br>4.  The estimate of the elevation of the several localities
+    above sea-level is pretty correct&mdash;for Baedeker.
+    He only misses it about a hundred and eighty or ninety
+    thousand feet.
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+<p>I found my arnica invaluable.  My men were suffering
+excruciatingly, from the friction of sitting down so much.
+During two or three days, not one of them was able to do
+more than lie down or walk about; yet so effective was
+the arnica, that on the fourth all were able to sit up.
+I consider that, more than to anything else, I owe the
+success of our great undertaking to arnica and paregoric.
+
+<p>My men are being restored to health and strength,
+my main perplexity, now, was how to get them down
+the mountain again.  I was not willing to expose the
+brave fellows to the perils, fatigues, and hardships
+of that fearful route again if it could be helped.
+First I thought of balloons; but, of course, I had to
+give that idea up, for balloons were not procurable.
+I thought of several other expedients, but upon
+consideration discarded them, for cause.  But at last
+I hit it.  I was aware that the movement of glaciers
+is an established fact, for I had read it in Baedeker;
+so I resolved to take passage for Zermatt on the great
+Gorner Glacier.
+
+<p>Very good.  The next thing was, how to get down the
+glacier comfortably&mdash;for the mule-road to it was long,
+and winding, and wearisome.  I set my mind at work,
+and soon thought out a plan.  One looks straight down
+upon the vast frozen river called the Gorner Glacier,
+from the Gorner Grat, a sheer precipice twelve hundred
+feet high.  We had one hundred and fifty-four
+umbrellas&mdash;and what is an umbrella but a parachute?
+
+<p>I mentioned this noble idea to Harris, with enthusiasm,
+and was about to order the Expedition to form on the
+Gorner Grat, with their umbrellas, and prepare for
+flight by platoons, each platoon in command of a guide,
+when Harris stopped me and urged me not to be too hasty.
+He asked me if this method of descending the Alps had
+ever been tried before.  I said no, I had not heard
+of an instance.  Then, in his opinion, it was a matter
+of considerable gravity; in his opinion it would not be
+well to send the whole command over the cliff at once;
+a better way would be to send down a single individual,
+first, and see how he fared.
+
+<p>I saw the wisdom in this idea instantly.  I said as much,
+and thanked my agent cordially, and told him to take
+his umbrella and try the thing right away, and wave
+his hat when he got down, if he struck in a soft place,
+and then I would ship the rest right along.
+
+<p>Harris was greatly touched with this mark of confidence,
+and said so, in a voice that had a perceptible tremble in it;
+but at the same time he said he did not feel himself worthy
+of so conspicuous a favor; that it might cause jealousy
+in the command, for there were plenty who would not hesitate
+to say he had used underhanded means to get the appointment,
+whereas his conscience would bear him witness that he
+had not sought it at all, nor even, in his secret heart,
+desired it.
+
+<p>I said these words did him extreme credit, but that he must not
+throw away the imperishable distinction of being the first man
+to descend an Alp per parachute, simply to save the feelings
+of some envious underlings.  No, I said, he MUST accept
+the appointment&mdash;it was no longer an invitation, it was a
+command.
+
+<p>He thanked me with effusion, and said that putting
+the thing in this form removed every objection.
+He retired, and soon returned with his umbrella, his eye
+flaming with gratitude and his cheeks pallid with joy.
+Just then the head guide passed along.  Harris's expression
+changed to one of infinite tenderness, and he said:
+
+<p>"That man did me a cruel injury four days ago, and I
+said in my heart he should live to perceive and confess
+that the only noble revenge a man can take upon his enemy
+is to return good for evil.  I resign in his favor.
+Appoint him."
+
+<p>I threw my arms around the generous fellow and said:
+
+<p>"Harris, you are the noblest soul that lives.  You shall
+not regret this sublime act, neither shall the world
+fail to know of it.  You shall have opportunity far
+transcending this one, too, if I live&mdash;remember that."
+
+<p>I called the head guide to me and appointed him on
+the spot.  But the thing aroused no enthusiasm in him.
+He did not take to the idea at all.
+
+<p>He said:
+
+<p>"Tie myself to an umbrella and jump over the Gorner
+Grat! Excuse me, there are a great many pleasanter roads
+to the devil than that."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p453"></a><img alt="p453.jpg (76K)" src="images/p453.jpg" height="769" width="577">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Upon a discussion of the subject with him, it appeared that he
+considered the project distinctly and decidedly dangerous.
+I was not convinced, yet I was not willing to try the
+experiment in any risky way&mdash;that is, in a way that might
+cripple the strength and efficiency of the Expedition.
+I was about at my wits' end when it occurred to me to try
+it on the Latinist.
+
+<p>He was called in.  But he declined, on the plea
+of inexperience, diffidence in public, lack of curiosity,
+and I didn't know what all.  Another man declined
+on account of a cold in the head; thought he ought
+to avoid exposure.  Another could not jump well&mdash;never
+COULD jump well&mdash;did not believe he could jump so far
+without long and patient practice.  Another was afraid it
+was going to rain, and his umbrella had a hole in it.
+Everybody had an excuse.  The result was what the reader
+has by this time guessed: the most magnificent idea
+that was ever conceived had to be abandoned, from sheer
+lack of a person with enterprise enough to carry it out.
+Yes, I actually had to give that thing up&mdash;while doubtless
+I should live to see somebody use it and take all the credit from
+me.
+
+<p>Well, I had to go overland&mdash;there was no other way.
+I marched the Expedition down the steep and tedious mule-path
+and took up as good a position as I could upon the middle
+of the glacier&mdash;because Baedeker said the middle part
+travels the fastest.  As a measure of economy, however,
+I put some of the heavier baggage on the shoreward parts,
+to go as slow freight.
+
+<p>I waited and waited, but the glacier did not move.
+Night was coming on, the darkness began to gather&mdash;still we
+did not budge.  It occurred to me then, that there might
+be a time-table in Baedeker; it would be well to find out
+the hours of starting.  I called for the book&mdash;it could not
+be found.  Bradshaw would certainly contain a time-table;
+but no Bradshaw could be found.
+
+<p>Very well, I must make the best of the situation.  So I
+pitched the tents, picketed the animals, milked the cows,
+had supper, paregoricked the men, established the watch,
+and went to bed&mdash;with orders to call me as soon as we came
+in sight of Zermatt.
+
+<p>I awoke about half past ten next morning, and looked around.
+We hadn't budged a peg! At first I could not understand it;
+then it occurred to me that the old thing must be aground.
+So I cut down some trees and rigged a spar on the starboard
+and another on the port side, and fooled away upward of
+three hours trying to spar her off.  But it was no use.
+She was half a mile wide and fifteen or twenty miles long,
+and there was no telling just whereabouts she WAS aground.
+The men began to show uneasiness, too, and presently they
+came flying to me with ashy faces, saying she had sprung
+a leak.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p455"></a><img alt="p455.jpg (55K)" src="images/p455.jpg" height="711" width="587">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Nothing but my cool behavior at this critical time saved us
+from another panic.  I ordered them to show me the place.
+They led me to a spot where a huge boulder lay in a deep
+pool of clear and brilliant water.  It did look like
+a pretty bad leak, but I kept that to myself.  I made
+a pump and set the men to work to pump out the glacier.
+We made a success of it.  I perceived, then, that it was not
+a leak at all.  This boulder had descended from a precipice
+and stopped on the ice in the middle of the glacier,
+and the sun had warmed it up, every day, and consequently
+it had melted its way deeper and deeper into the ice,
+until at last it reposed, as we had found it, in a deep
+pool of the clearest and coldest water.
+
+<p>Presently Baedeker was found again, and I hunted eagerly
+for the time-table. There was none.  The book simply said
+the glacier was moving all the time.  This was satisfactory,
+so I shut up the book and chose a good position to view
+the scenery as we passed along.  I stood there some time
+enjoying the trip, but at last it occurred to me that we did
+not seem to be gaining any on the scenery.  I said to myself,
+"This confounded old thing's aground again, sure,"&mdash;and
+opened Baedeker to see if I could run across any remedy
+for these annoying interruptions.  I soon found a sentence
+which threw a dazzling light upon the matter.  It said,
+"The Gorner Glacier travels at an average rate of a little
+less than an inch a day." I have seldom felt so outraged.
+I have seldom had my confidence so wantonly betrayed.
+I made a small calculation: One inch a day, say thirty
+feet a year; estimated distance to Zermatt, three and
+one-eighteenth miles.  Time required to go by glacier,
+A LITTLE OVER FIVE HUNDRED YEARS! I said to myself, "I can
+WALK it quicker&mdash;and before I will patronize such a fraud
+as this, I will do it."
+
+<p>When I revealed to Harris the fact that the passenger part
+of this glacier&mdash;the central part&mdash;the lightning-express part,
+so to speak&mdash;was not due in Zermatt till the summer
+of 2378, and that the baggage, coming along the slow edge,
+would not arrive until some generations later, he burst
+out with:
+
+<p>"That is European management, all over! An inch a day&mdash;think
+of that! Five hundred years to go a trifle over three miles!
+But I am not a bit surprised.  It's a Catholic glacier.
+You can tell by the look of it.  And the management."
+
+<p>I said, no, I believed nothing but the extreme end of it
+was in a Catholic canton.
+
+<p>"Well, then, it's a government glacier," said Harris.
+"It's all the same.  Over here the government runs
+everything&mdash;so everything's slow; slow, and ill-managed. But
+with us, everything's done by private enterprise&mdash;and then
+there ain't much lolling around, you can depend on it.
+I wish Tom Scott could get his hands on this torpid old
+slab once&mdash;you'd see it take a different gait from this."
+
+<p>I said I was sure he would increase the speed, if there
+was trade enough to justify it.
+
+<p>"He'd MAKE trade," said Harris.  "That's the difference
+between governments and individuals.  Governments don't care,
+individuals do.  Tom Scott would take all the trade;
+in two years Gorner stock would go to two hundred,
+and inside of two more you would see all the other glaciers
+under the hammer for taxes." After a reflective pause,
+Harris added, "A little less than an inch a day; a little
+less than an INCH, mind you.  Well, I'm losing my reverence
+for glaciers."
+
+<p>I was feeling much the same way myself.  I have traveled
+by canal-boat, ox-wagon, raft, and by the Ephesus and
+Smyrna railway; but when it comes down to good solid
+honest slow motion, I bet my money on the glacier.
+As a means of passenger transportation, I consider
+the glacier a failure; but as a vehicle of slow freight,
+I think she fills the bill.  In the matter of putting
+the fine shades on that line of business, I judge she
+could teach the Germans something.
+
+<p>I ordered the men to break camp and prepare for the land
+journey to Zermatt.  At this moment a most interesting
+find was made; a dark object, bedded in the glacial ice,
+was cut out with the ice-axes, and it proved to be a piece
+of the undressed skin of some animal&mdash;a hair trunk, perhaps;
+but a close inspection disabled the hair-trunk theory,
+and further discussion and examination exploded it
+entirely&mdash;that is, in the opinion of all the scientists
+except the one who had advanced it.  This one clung
+to his theory with affectionate fidelity characteristic
+of originators of scientific theories, and afterward won
+many of the first scientists of the age to his view,
+by a very able pamphlet which he wrote, entitled, "Evidences
+going to show that the hair trunk, in a wild state,
+belonged to the early glacial period, and roamed the wastes
+of chaos in the company with the cave-bear, primeval man,
+and the other Ooelitics of the Old Silurian family."
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p458"></a><img alt="p458.jpg (31K)" src="images/p458.jpg" height="545" width="293">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+<p>Each of our scientists had a theory of his own, and put
+forward an animal of his own as a candidate for the skin.
+I sided with the geologist of the Expedition in the
+belief that this patch of skin had once helped to cover
+a Siberian elephant, in some old forgotten age&mdash;but we
+divided there, the geologist believing that this discovery
+proved that Siberia had formerly been located where
+Switzerland is now, whereas I held the opinion that it
+merely proved that the primeval Swiss was not the dull
+savage he is represented to have been, but was a being
+of high intellectual development, who liked to go to the
+menagerie.
+
+<p>We arrived that evening, after many hardships and adventures,
+in some fields close to the great ice-arch where the mad
+Visp boils and surges out from under the foot of the
+great Gorner Glacier, and here we camped, our perils over
+and our magnificent undertaking successfully completed.
+We marched into Zermatt the next day, and were received
+with the most lavish honors and applause.  A document,
+signed and sealed by the authorities, was given to me
+which established and endorsed the fact that I had made
+the ascent of the Riffelberg.  This I wear around my neck,
+and it will be buried with me when I am no more.
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch40"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XL</h2>
+<h3>[Piteous Relics at Chamonix]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>I am not so ignorant about glacial movement, now, as I
+was when I took passage on the Gorner Glacier.
+I have "read up" since.  I am aware that these vast
+bodies of ice do not travel at the same rate of speed;
+while the Gorner Glacier makes less than an inch a day,
+the Unter-Aar Glacier makes as much as eight; and still
+other glaciers are said to go twelve, sixteen, and even
+twenty inches a day.  One writer says that the slowest
+glacier travels twenty-five feet a year, and the fastest
+four hundred.
+
+<p>What is a glacier? It is easy to say it looks like a
+frozen river which occupies the bed of a winding gorge
+or gully between mountains.  But that gives no notion
+of its vastness.  For it is sometimes six hundred
+feet thick, and we are not accustomed to rivers six hundred
+feet deep; no, our rivers are six feet, twenty feet,
+and sometimes fifty feet deep; we are not quite able
+to grasp so large a fact as an ice-river six hundred feet deep.
+
+<p>The glacier's surface is not smooth and level, but has
+deep swales and swelling elevations, and sometimes has
+the look of a tossing sea whose turbulent billows were
+frozen hard in the instant of their most violent motion;
+the glacier's surface is not a flawless mass, but is a river
+with cracks or crevices, some narrow, some gaping wide.
+Many a man, the victim of a slip or a misstep, has plunged
+down one of these and met his death.  Men have been
+fished out of them alive; but it was when they did not
+go to a great depth; the cold of the great depths would
+quickly stupefy a man, whether he was hurt or unhurt.
+These cracks do not go straight down; one can seldom see
+more than twenty to forty feet down them; consequently men
+who have disappeared in them have been sought for,
+in the hope that they had stopped within helping distance,
+whereas their case, in most instances, had really been
+hopeless from the beginning.
+
+<p>In 1864 a party of tourists was descending Mont Blanc,
+and while picking their way over one of the mighty glaciers
+of that lofty region, roped together, as was proper,
+a young porter disengaged himself from the line and
+started across an ice-bridge which spanned a crevice.
+It broke under him with a crash, and he disappeared.
+The others could not see how deep he had gone, so it might
+be worthwhile to try and rescue him.  A brave young guide
+named Michel Payot volunteered.
+
+<p>Two ropes were made fast to his leather belt and he bore
+the end of a third one in his hand to tie to the victim
+in case he found him.  He was lowered into the crevice,
+he descended deeper and deeper between the clear blue
+walls of solid ice, he approached a bend in the crack
+and disappeared under it.  Down, and still down, he went,
+into this profound grave; when he had reached a depth
+of eighty feet he passed under another bend in the crack,
+and thence descended eighty feet lower, as between
+perpendicular precipices.  Arrived at this stage of one
+hundred and sixty feet below the surface of the glacier,
+he peered through the twilight dimness and perceived
+that the chasm took another turn and stretched away at
+a steep slant to unknown deeps, for its course was lost
+in darkness.  What a place that was to be in&mdash;especially
+if that leather belt should break! The compression
+of the belt threatened to suffocate the intrepid fellow;
+he called to his friends to draw him up, but could not make
+them hear.  They still lowered him, deeper and deeper.
+Then he jerked his third cord as vigorously as he could;
+his friends understood, and dragged him out of those icy jaws
+of death.
+
+<p>Then they attached a bottle to a cord and sent it down
+two hundred feet, but it found no bottom.  It came up
+covered with congelations&mdash;evidence enough that even if
+the poor porter reached the bottom with unbroken bones,
+a swift death from cold was sure, anyway.
+
+<p>A glacier is a stupendous, ever-progressing, resistless plow.
+It pushes ahead of it masses of boulders which are
+packed together, and they stretch across the gorge,
+right in front of it, like a long grave or a long,
+sharp roof.  This is called a moraine.  It also shoves
+out a moraine along each side of its course.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p461"></a><img alt="p461.jpg (31K)" src="images/p461.jpg" height="353" width="549">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Imposing as the modern glaciers are, they are not so
+huge as were some that once existed.  For instance,
+Mr. Whymper says:
+
+<p>"At some very remote period the Valley of Aosta was occupied
+by a vast glacier, which flowed down its entire length from
+Mont Blanc to the plain of Piedmont, remained stationary,
+or nearly so, at its mouth for many centuries, and deposited
+there enormous masses of debris.  The length of this
+glacier exceeded EIGHTY MILES, and it drained a basin
+twenty-five to thirty-five miles across, bounded by the
+highest mountains in the Alps.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p462"></a><img alt="p462.jpg (37K)" src="images/p462.jpg" height="659" width="363">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"The great peaks rose
+several thousand feet above the glaciers, and then, as now,
+shattered by sun and frost, poured down their showers of
+rocks and stones, in witness of which there are the immense
+piles of angular fragments that constitute the moraines of Ivrea.
+
+<p>
+"The moraines around Ivrea are of extraordinary dimensions.
+That which was on the left bank of the glacier is
+about THIRTEEN MILES long, and in some places rises
+to a height of TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FEET
+above the floor of the valley! The terminal moraines
+(those which are pushed in front of the glaciers)
+cover something like twenty square miles of country.
+At the mouth of the Valley of Aosta, the thickness of
+the glacier must have been at least TWO THOUSAND feet,
+and its width, at that part, FIVE MILES AND A QUARTER."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p463"></a><img alt="p463.jpg (93K)" src="images/p463.jpg" height="330" width="650">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It is not easy to get at a comprehension of a mass of ice
+like that.  If one could cleave off the butt end of such
+a glacier&mdash;an oblong block two or three miles wide
+by five and a quarter long and two thousand feet
+thick&mdash;he could completely hide the city of New York under it,
+and Trinity steeple would only stick up into it relatively
+as far as a shingle-nail would stick up into the bottom
+of a Saratoga trunk.
+
+<p>"The boulders from Mont Blanc, upon the plain below Ivrea,
+assure us that the glacier which transported them existed
+for a prodigious length of time.  Their present distance from
+the cliffs from which they were derived is about 420,000 feet,
+and if we assume that they traveled at the rate of 400 feet
+per annum, their journey must have occupied them no less
+than 1,055 years! In all probability they did not travel so
+fast."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p465"></a><img alt="p465.jpg (37K)" src="images/p465.jpg" height="399" width="535">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Glaciers are sometimes hurried out of their characteristic
+snail-pace. A marvelous spectacle is presented then.
+Mr. Whymper refers to a case which occurred in Iceland
+in 1721:
+
+<p>"It seems that in the neighborhood of the mountain Kotlugja,
+large bodies of water formed underneath, or within
+the glaciers (either on account of the interior heat of
+the earth, or from other causes), and at length acquired
+irresistible power, tore the glaciers from their mooring on
+the land, and swept them over every obstacle into the sea.
+Prodigious masses of ice were thus borne for a distance
+of about ten miles over land in the space of a few hours;
+and their bulk was so enormous that they covered the sea
+for seven miles from the shore, and remained aground
+in six hundred feet of water! The denudation of the land
+was upon a grand scale.  All superficial accumulations were
+swept away, and the bedrock was exposed.  It was described,
+in graphic language, how all irregularities and depressions
+were obliterated, and a smooth surface of several miles'
+area laid bare, and that this area had the appearance
+of having been PLANED BY A PLANE."
+
+<p>The account translated from the Icelandic says that the
+mountainlike ruins of this majestic glacier so covered
+the sea that as far as the eye could reach no open water
+was discoverable, even from the highest peaks.  A monster
+wall or barrier of ice was built across a considerable
+stretch of land, too, by this strange irruption:
+
+<p>"One can form some idea of the altitude of this barrier
+of ice when it is mentioned that from Hofdabrekka farm,
+which lies high up on a fjeld, one could not see
+Hjorleifshofdi opposite, which is a fell six hundred and
+forty feet in height; but in order to do so had to clamber
+up a mountain slope east of Hofdabrekka twelve hundred feet
+high."
+
+<p>These things will help the reader to understand why it is
+that a man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel
+tolerably insignificant by and by.  The Alps and the glaciers
+together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man
+and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only
+remain within the influence of their sublime presence long
+enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
+
+<p>The Alpine glaciers move&mdash;that is granted, now, by everybody.
+But there was a time when people scoffed at the idea;
+they said you might as well expect leagues of solid rock
+to crawl along the ground as expect leagues of ice to do it.
+But proof after proof was furnished, and the finally the
+world had to believe.
+
+<p>The wise men not only said the glacier moved, but they
+timed its movement.  They ciphered out a glacier's gait,
+and then said confidently that it would travel just
+so far in so many years.  There is record of a striking
+and curious example of the accuracy which may be attained
+in these reckonings.
+
+<p>In 1820 the ascent of Mont Blanc was attempted by a Russian
+and two Englishmen, with seven guides.  They had reached
+a prodigious altitude, and were approaching the summit,
+when an avalanche swept several of the party down a
+sharp slope of two hundred feet and hurled five of them
+(all guides) into one of the crevices of a glacier.
+The life of one of the five was saved by a long barometer
+which was strapped to his back&mdash;it bridged the crevice
+and suspended him until help came.  The alpenstock
+or baton of another saved its owner in a similar way.
+Three men were lost&mdash;Pierre Balmat, Pierre Carrier,
+and Auguste Tairraz.  They had been hurled down into the
+fathomless great deeps of the crevice.
+
+<p>Dr. Forbes, the English geologist, had made frequent visits
+to the Mont Blanc region, and had given much attention
+to the disputed question of the movement of glaciers.
+During one of these visits he completed his estimates
+of the rate of movement of the glacier which had swallowed
+up the three guides, and uttered the prediction that the
+glacier would deliver up its dead at the foot of the
+mountain thirty-five years from the time of the accident,
+or possibly forty.
+
+<p>A dull, slow journey&mdash;a movement imperceptible to any
+eye&mdash;but it was proceeding, nevertheless, and without cessation.
+It was a journey which a rolling stone would make in a
+few seconds&mdash;the lofty point of departure was visible
+from the village below in the valley.
+
+<p>The prediction cut curiously close to the truth;
+forty-one years after the catastrophe, the remains
+were cast forth at the foot of the glacier.
+
+<p>I find an interesting account of the matter in the
+HISTOIRE DU MONT BLANC, by Stephen d'Arve. I will
+condense this account, as follows:
+
+<p>On the 12th of August, 1861, at the hour of the close of mass,
+a guide arrived out of breath at the mairie of Chamonix,
+and bearing on his shoulders a very lugubrious burden.
+It was a sack filled with human remains which he had gathered
+from the orifice of a crevice in the Glacier des Bossons.
+He conjectured that these were remains of the victims
+of the catastrophe of 1820, and a minute inquest,
+immediately instituted by the local authorities,
+soon demonstrated the correctness of his supposition.
+The contents of the sack were spread upon a long table,
+and officially inventoried, as follows:
+
+<p>Portions of three human skulls.  Several tufts of black and
+blonde hair.  A human jaw, furnished with fine white teeth.
+A forearm and hand, all the fingers of the latter intact.
+The flesh was white and fresh, and both the arm and hand
+preserved a degree of flexibility in the articulations.
+
+<p>The ring-finger had suffered a slight abrasion, and the
+stain of the blood was still visible and unchanged after
+forty-one years.  A left foot, the flesh white and fresh.
+
+<p>Along with these fragments were portions of waistcoats, hats,
+hobnailed shoes, and other clothing; a wing of a pigeon,
+with black feathers; a fragment of an alpenstock;
+a tin lantern; and lastly, a boiled leg of mutton,
+the only flesh among all the remains that exhaled an
+unpleasant odor.  The guide said that the mutton had no
+odor when he took it from the glacier; an hour's exposure
+to the sun had already begun the work of decomposition upon it.
+
+<p>Persons were called for, to identify these poor pathetic relics,
+and a touching scene ensued.  Two men were still living
+who had witnessed the grim catastrophe of nearly half
+a century before&mdash;Marie Couttet (saved by his baton)
+and Julien Davouassoux (saved by the barometer). These aged
+men entered and approached the table.  Davouassoux, more than
+eighty years old, contemplated the mournful remains mutely
+and with a vacant eye, for his intelligence and his memory
+were torpid with age; but Couttet's faculties were still
+perfect at seventy-two, and he exhibited strong emotion.  He
+said:
+
+<p>"Pierre Balmat was fair; he wore a straw hat.  This bit of skull,
+with the tuft of blond hair, was his; this is his hat.
+Pierre Carrier was very dark; this skull was his, and this
+felt hat.  This is Balmat's hand, I remember it so well!"
+and the old man bent down and kissed it reverently,
+then closed his fingers upon it in an affectionate grasp,
+crying out, "I could never have dared to believe that
+before quitting this world it would be granted me to
+press once more the hand of one of those brave comrades,
+the hand of my good friend Balmat."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p469"></a><img alt="p469.jpg (30K)" src="images/p469.jpg" height="427" width="575">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>There is something weirdly pathetic about the picture
+of that white-haired veteran greeting with his loving
+handshake this friend who had been dead forty years.
+When these hands had met last, they were alike in the
+softness and freshness of youth; now, one was brown and
+wrinkled and horny with age, while the other was still
+as young and fair and blemishless as if those forty years
+had come and gone in a single moment, leaving no mark
+of their passage.  Time had gone on, in the one case;
+it had stood still in the other.  A man who has not seen
+a friend for a generation, keeps him in mind always as he
+saw him last, and is somehow surprised, and is also shocked,
+to see the aging change the years have wrought when he
+sees him again.  Marie Couttet's experience, in finding
+his friend's hand unaltered from the image of it which he
+had carried in his memory for forty years, is an experience
+which stands alone in the history of man, perhaps.
+
+<p>Couttet identified other relics:
+
+<p>"This hat belonged to Auguste Tairraz.  He carried
+the cage of pigeons which we proposed to set free upon
+the summit.  Here is the wing of one of those pigeons.
+And here is the fragment of my broken baton; it was by
+grace of that baton that my life was saved.  Who could
+have told me that I should one day have the satisfaction
+to look again upon this bit of wood that supported me above
+the grave that swallowed up my unfortunate companions!"
+
+<p>No portions of the body of Tairraz, other than a piece
+of the skull, had been found.  A diligent search was made,
+but without result.  However, another search was
+instituted a year later, and this had better success.
+Many fragments of clothing which had belonged to the lost
+guides were discovered; also, part of a lantern, and a
+green veil with blood-stains on it.  But the interesting
+feature was this:
+
+<p>One of the searchers came suddenly upon a sleeved arm
+projecting from a crevice in the ice-wall, with the hand
+outstretched as if offering greeting! "The nails of this white
+hand were still rosy, and the pose of the extended fingers
+seemed to express an eloquent welcome to the long-lost light of
+day."
+
+<p>The hand and arm were alone; there was no trunk.
+After being removed from the ice the flesh-tints quickly
+faded out and the rosy nails took on the alabaster
+hue of death.  This was the third RIGHT hand found;
+therefore, all three of the lost men were accounted for,
+beyond cavil or question.
+
+<p>Dr. Hamel was the Russian gentleman of the party which
+made the ascent at the time of the famous disaster.
+He left Chamonix as soon as he conveniently could after
+the descent; and as he had shown a chilly indifference
+about the calamity, and offered neither sympathy nor
+assistance to the widows and orphans, he carried with
+him the cordial execrations of the whole community.
+Four months before the first remains were found,
+a Chamonix guide named Balmat&mdash;a relative of one of
+the lost men&mdash;was in London, and one day encountered
+a hale old gentleman in the British Museum, who said:
+
+<p>"I overheard your name.  Are you from Chamonix,
+Monsieur Balmat?"
+
+<p>"Yes, sir."
+
+<p>"Haven't they found the bodies of my three guides,
+yet? I am Dr. Hamel."
+
+<p>"Alas, no, monsieur."
+
+<p>"Well, you'll find them, sooner or later."
+
+<p>"Yes, it is the opinion of Dr. Forbes and Mr. Tyndall,
+that the glacier will sooner or later restore to us the
+remains of the unfortunate victims."
+
+<p>"Without a doubt, without a doubt.  And it will be a great
+thing for Chamonix, in the matter of attracting tourists.
+You can get up a museum with those remains that will draw!"
+
+<p>This savage idea has not improved the odor of Dr. Hamel's
+name in Chamonix by any means.  But after all, the man
+was sound on human nature.  His idea was conveyed
+to the public officials of Chamonix, and they gravely
+discussed it around the official council-table. They
+were only prevented from carrying it into execution by
+the determined opposition of the friends and descendants
+of the lost guides, who insisted on giving the remains
+Christian burial, and succeeded in their purpose.
+
+<p>A close watch had to be kept upon all the poor remnants
+and fragments, to prevent embezzlement.  A few accessory
+odds and ends were sold.  Rags and scraps of the coarse
+clothing were parted with at the rate equal to about
+twenty dollars a yard; a piece of a lantern and one or
+two other trifles brought nearly their weight in gold;
+and an Englishman offered a pound sterling for a single
+breeches-button.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p472"></a><img alt="p472.jpg (39K)" src="images/p472.jpg" height="447" width="565">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch41"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XLI</h2>
+<h3>[The Fearful Disaster of 1865]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>One of the most memorable of all the Alpine catastrophes
+was that of July, 1865, on the Matterhorn&mdash;already
+slightly referred to, a few pages back.  The details
+of it are scarcely known in America.  To the vast
+majority of readers they are not known at all.
+Mr. Whymper's account is the only authentic one.
+I will import the chief portion of it into this book,
+partly because of its intrinsic interest, and partly
+because it gives such a vivid idea of what the perilous
+pastime of Alp-climbing is.  This was Mr. Whymper's
+NINTH attempt during a series of years, to vanquish
+that steep and stubborn pillar or rock; it succeeded,
+the other eight were failures.  No man had ever accomplished
+the ascent before, though the attempts had been numerous.
+
+<center><h3>MR. WHYMPER'S NARRATIVE</h3></center>
+
+<p>We started from Zermatt on the 13th of July, at half
+past five, on a brilliant and perfectly cloudless morning.
+We were eight in number&mdash;Croz (guide), old Peter
+Taugwalder (guide) and his two sons; Lord F. Douglas,
+Mr. Hadow, Rev. Mr. Hudson, and I. To insure steady
+motion, one tourist and one native walked together.
+The youngest Taugwalder fell to my share.  The wine-bags
+also fell to my lot to carry, and throughout the day,
+after each drink, I replenished them secretly with water,
+so that at the next halt they were found fuller than
+before! This was considered a good omen, and little short
+of miraculous.
+
+<p>On the first day we did not intend to ascend to any
+great height, and we mounted, accordingly, very leisurely.
+Before twelve o'clock we had found a good position
+for the tent, at a height of eleven thousand feet.
+We passed the remaining hours of daylight&mdash;some basking
+in the sunshine, some sketching, some collecting;
+Hudson made tea, I coffee, and at length we retired,
+each one to his blanket bag.
+
+<p>We assembled together before dawn on the 14th
+and started directly it was light enough to move.
+One of the young Taugwalders returned to Zermatt.
+In a few minutes we turned the rib which had intercepted
+the view of the eastern face from our tent platform.
+The whole of this great slope was now revealed, rising for
+three thousand feet like a huge natural staircase.
+Some parts were more, and others were less easy, but we
+were not once brought to a halt by any serious impediment,
+for when an obstruction was met in front it could always
+be turned to the right or to the left.  For the greater part
+of the way there was no occasion, indeed, for the rope,
+and sometimes Hudson led, sometimes myself.  At six-twenty we
+had attained a height of twelve thousand eight hundred feet,
+and halted for half an hour; we then continued the ascent
+without a break until nine-fifty-five, when we stopped
+for fifty minutes, at a height of fourteen thousand feet.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p475"></a><img alt="p475.jpg (92K)" src="images/p475.jpg" height="915" width="599">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We had now arrived at the foot of that part which, seen from
+the Riffelberg, seems perpendicular or overhanging.
+We could no longer continue on the eastern side.  For a little
+distance we ascended by snow upon the ARÊTE&mdash;that is,
+the ridge&mdash;then turned over to the right, or northern side.
+The work became difficult, and required caution.  In some places
+there was little to hold; the general slope of the mountain
+was LESS than forty degrees, and snow had accumulated in,
+and had filled up, the interstices of the rock-face, leaving
+only occasional fragments projecting here and there.
+These were at times covered with a thin film of ice.
+It was a place which any fair mountaineer might pass
+in safety.  We bore away nearly horizontally for about four
+hundred feet, then ascended directly toward the summit
+for about sixty feet, then doubled back to the ridge
+which descends toward Zermatt.  A long stride round
+a rather awkward corner brought us to snow once more.
+That last doubt vanished! The Matterhorn was ours! Nothing
+but two hundred feet of easy snow remained to be surmounted.
+
+<p>The higher we rose, the more intense became the excitement.
+The slope eased off, at length we could be detached,
+and Croz and I, dashed away, ran a neck-and-neck race,
+which ended in a dead heat.  At 1:40 P.M., the world was at
+our feet, and the Matterhorn was conquered!
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p477"></a><img alt="p477.jpg (53K)" src="images/p477.jpg" height="621" width="577">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The others arrived.  Croz now took the tent-pole, and
+planted it in the highest snow.  "Yes," we said, "there is
+the flag-staff, but where is the flag?" "Here it is,"
+he answered, pulling off his blouse and fixing it to the stick.
+It made a poor flag, and there was no wind to float it out,
+yet it was seen all around.  They saw it at Zermatt&mdash;at
+the Riffel&mdash;in the Val Tournanche... .
+
+<p>We remained on the summit for one hour&mdash;
+
+<p>One crowded hour of glorious life.
+
+<p>It passed away too quickly, and we began to prepare
+for the descent.
+
+<p>Hudson and I consulted as to the best and safest arrangement
+of the party.  We agreed that it was best for Croz
+to go first, and Hadow second; Hudson, who was almost
+equal to a guide in sureness of foot, wished to be third;
+Lord Douglas was placed next, and old Peter, the strongest
+of the remainder, after him.  I suggested to Hudson
+that we should attach a rope to the rocks on our arrival
+at the difficult bit, and hold it as we descended,
+as an additional protection.  He approved the idea,
+but it was not definitely decided that it should be done.
+The party was being arranged in the above order while I
+was sketching the summit, and they had finished,
+and were waiting for me to be tied in line, when some one
+remembered that our names had not been left in a bottle.
+They requested me to write them down, and moved off
+while it was being done.
+
+<p>A few minutes afterward I tied myself to young Peter,
+ran down after the others, and caught them just as they
+were commencing the descent of the difficult part.
+Great care was being taken.  Only one man was moving at a time;
+when he was firmly planted the next advanced, and so on.
+They had not, however, attached the additional rope
+to rocks, and nothing was said about it.  The suggestion
+was not made for my own sake, and I am not sure that it
+ever occurred to me again.  For some little distance we
+two followed the others, detached from them, and should
+have continued so had not Lord Douglas asked me, about 3
+P.M., to tie on to old Peter, as he feared, he said,
+that Taugwalder would not be able to hold his ground if a
+slip occurred.
+
+<p>A few minutes later, a sharp-eyed lad ran into the Monte
+Rosa Hotel, at Zermatt, saying that he had seen an avalanche
+fall from the summit of the Matterhorn onto the Matterhorn
+glacier.  The boy was reproved for telling idle stories;
+he was right, nevertheless, and this was what he saw.
+
+<p>Michel Croz had laid aside his ax, and in order to give
+Mr. Hadow greater security, was absolutely taking
+hold of his legs, and putting his feet, one by one,
+into their proper positions.  As far as I know, no one
+was actually descending.  I cannot speak with certainty,
+because the two leading men were partially hidden
+from my sight by an intervening mass of rock, but it
+is my belief, from the movements of their shoulders,
+that Croz, having done as I said, was in the act
+of turning round to go down a step or two himself;
+at this moment Mr. Hadow slipped, fell against him,
+and knocked him over.  I heard one startled exclamation
+from Croz, then saw him and Mr. Hadow flying downward;
+in another moment Hudson was dragged from his steps,
+and Lord Douglas immediately after him.  All this was the
+work of a moment.  Immediately we heard Croz's exclamation,
+old Peter and I planted ourselves as firmly as the rocks
+would permit; the rope was taut between us, and the jerk
+came on us both as on one man.  We held; but the rope
+broke midway between Taugwalder and Lord Francis Douglas.
+For a few seconds we saw our unfortunate companions sliding
+downward on their backs, and spreading out their hands,
+endeavoring to save themselves.  They passed from our
+sight uninjured, disappeared one by one, and fell from the
+precipice to precipice onto the Matterhorn glacier below,
+a distance of nearly four thousand feet in height.
+From the moment the rope broke it was impossible to help them.
+So perished our comrades!
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p480"></a><img alt="p480.jpg (96K)" src="images/p480.jpg" height="957" width="575">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>For more than two hours afterward I thought almost every
+moment that the next would be my last; for the Taugwalders,
+utterly unnerved, were not only incapable of giving assistance,
+but were in such a state that a slip might have been
+expected from them at any moment.  After a time we were able
+to do that which should have been done at first, and fixed
+rope to firm rocks, in addition to being tied together.
+These ropes were cut from time to time, and were left behind.
+Even with their assurance the men were afraid to proceed,
+and several times old Peter turned, with ashy face
+and faltering limbs, and said, with terrible emphasis,
+"I CANNOT!"
+
+<p>About 6 P.M., we arrived at the snow upon the ridge
+descending toward Zermatt, and all peril was over.
+We frequently looked, but in vain, for traces of our
+unfortunate companions; we bent over the ridge and cried
+to them, but no sound returned.  Convinced at last that
+they were neither within sight nor hearing, we ceased
+from our useless efforts; and, too cast down for speech,
+silently gathered up our things, and the little effects
+of those who were lost, and then completed the descent.
+
+<hr>
+
+<p>Such is Mr. Whymper's graphic and thrilling narrative.
+Zermatt gossip darkly hints that the elder Taugwalder
+cut the rope, when the accident occurred, in order
+to preserve himself from being dragged into the abyss;
+but Mr. Whymper says that the ends of the rope showed
+no evidence of cutting, but only of breaking.  He adds
+that if Taugwalder had had the disposition to cut the rope,
+he would not have had time to do it, the accident was so
+sudden and unexpected.
+
+<p>Lord Douglas' body has never been found.  It probably
+lodged upon some inaccessible shelf in the face of the
+mighty precipice.  Lord Douglas was a youth of nineteen.
+The three other victims fell nearly four thousand feet,
+and their bodies lay together upon the glacier when found
+by Mr. Whymper and the other searchers the next morning.
+Their graves are beside the little church in Zermatt.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p482"></a><img alt="p482.jpg (15K)" src="images/p482.jpg" height="197" width="569">
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch42"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XLII</h2>
+<h3>[Chillon has a Nice, Roomy Dungeon]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>Switzerland is simply a large, humpy, solid rock,
+with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.  Consequently,
+they do not dig graves, they blast them out with powder
+and fuse.  They cannot afford to have large graveyards,
+the grass skin is too circumscribed and too valuable.
+It is all required for the support of the living.
+
+<p>The graveyard in Zermatt occupies only about one-eighth
+of an acre.  The graves are sunk in the living rock, and are
+very permanent; but occupation of them is only temporary;
+the occupant can only stay till his grave is needed
+by a later subject, he is removed, then, for they do not
+bury one body on top of another.  As I understand it,
+a family owns a grave, just as it owns a house.  A man dies
+and leaves his house to his son&mdash;and at the same time,
+this dead father succeeds to his own father's grave.
+He moves out of the house and into the grave, and his
+predecessor moves out of the grave and into the cellar
+of the chapel.  I saw a black box lying in the churchyard,
+with skull and cross-bones painted on it, and was told that
+this was used in transferring remains to the cellar.
+
+<p>In that cellar the bones and skulls of several hundred of
+former citizens were compactly corded up.  They made a pile
+eighteen feet long, seven feet high, and eight feet wide.
+I was told that in some of the receptacles of this kind
+in the Swiss villages, the skulls were all marked,
+and if a man wished to find the skulls of his ancestors
+for several generations back, he could do it by these marks,
+preserved in the family records.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p484"></a><img alt="p484.jpg (32K)" src="images/p484.jpg" height="525" width="373">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>An English gentleman who had lived some years in this region,
+said it was the cradle of compulsory education.
+But he said that the English idea that compulsory
+education would reduce bastardy and intemperance was an
+error&mdash;it has not that effect.  He said there was more
+seduction in the Protestant than in the Catholic cantons,
+because the confessional protected the girls.  I wonder
+why it doesn't protect married women in France and Spain?
+
+<p>This gentleman said that among the poorer peasants in the Valais,
+it was common for the brothers in a family to cast lots
+to determine which of them should have the coveted privilege
+of marrying, and his brethren&mdash;doomed bachelors&mdash;heroically
+banded themselves together to help support the new family.
+
+<p>We left Zermatt in a wagon&mdash;and in a rain-storm,
+too&mdash;for St. Nicholas about ten o'clock one morning.
+Again we passed between those grass-clad prodigious cliffs,
+specked with wee dwellings peeping over at us from
+velvety green walls ten and twelve hundred feet high.
+It did not seem possible that the imaginary chamois
+even could climb those precipices.  Lovers on opposite
+cliffs probably kiss through a spy-glass, and correspond
+with a rifle.
+
+<p>In Switzerland the farmer's plow is a wide shovel,
+which scrapes up and turns over the thin earthy skin of his
+native rock&mdash;and there the man of the plow is a hero.
+Now here, by our St. Nicholas road, was a grave, and it
+had a tragic story.  A plowman was skinning his farm
+one morning&mdash;not the steepest part of it, but still
+a steep part&mdash;that is, he was not skinning the front
+of his farm, but the roof of it, near the eaves&mdash;when he
+absent-mindedly let go of the plow-handles to moisten
+his hands, in the usual way; he lost his balance and fell
+out of his farm backward; poor fellow, he never touched
+anything till he struck bottom, fifteen hundred feet below.
+[This was on a Sunday.&mdash;M.T.] We throw a halo of heroism around the life of the
+soldier and the sailor, because of the deadly dangers they
+are facing all the time.  But we are not used to looking
+upon farming as a heroic occupation.  This is because we
+have not lived in Switzerland.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p485"></a><img alt="p485.jpg (32K)" src="images/p485.jpg" height="763" width="277">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>From St. Nicholas we struck out for Visp&mdash;or Vispach&mdash;on foot.
+The rain-storms had been at work during several days,
+and had done a deal of damage in Switzerland and Savoy.
+We came to one place where a stream had changed its
+course and plunged down a mountain in a new place,
+sweeping everything before it.  Two poor but precious farms
+by the roadside were ruined.  One was washed clear away,
+and the bed-rock exposed; the other was buried out of sight
+under a tumbled chaos of rocks, gravel, mud, and rubbish.
+The resistless might of water was well exemplified.
+Some saplings which had stood in the way were bent to the ground,
+stripped clean of their bark, and buried under rocky debris.
+The road had been swept away, too.
+
+<p>In another place, where the road was high up on the mountain's
+face, and its outside edge protected by flimsy masonry,
+we frequently came across spots where this masonry had
+carved off and left dangerous gaps for mules to get over;
+and with still more frequency we found the masonry
+slightly crumbled, and marked by mule-hoofs, thus showing
+that there had been danger of an accident to somebody.
+When at last we came to a badly ruptured bit of masonry,
+with hoof-prints evidencing a desperate struggle
+to regain the lost foothold, I looked quite hopefully
+over the dizzy precipice.  But there was nobody down there.
+
+<p>They take exceedingly good care of their rivers in Switzerland
+and other portions of Europe.  They wall up both banks
+with slanting solid stone masonry&mdash;so that from end
+to end of these rivers the banks look like the wharves
+at St. Louis and other towns on the Mississippi River.
+
+<p>It was during this walk from St. Nicholas, in the shadow
+of the majestic Alps, that we came across some little
+children amusing themselves in what seemed, at first,
+a most odd and original way&mdash;but it wasn't; it was in
+simply a natural and characteristic way.  They were roped
+together with a string, they had mimic alpenstocks and
+ice-axes, and were climbing a meek and lowly manure-pile
+with a most blood-curdling amount of care and caution.
+The "guide" at the head of the line cut imaginary steps,
+in a laborious and painstaking way, and not a monkey
+budged till the step above was vacated.  If we had waited
+we should have witnessed an imaginary accident, no doubt;
+and we should have heard the intrepid band hurrah when they
+made the summit and looked around upon the "magnificent view,"
+and seen them throw themselves down in exhausted attitudes
+for a rest in that commanding situation.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p487"></a><img alt="p487.jpg (44K)" src="images/p487.jpg" height="771" width="403">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>In Nevada I used to see the children play at silver-mining.
+Of course, the great thing was an accident in a mine,
+and there were two "star" parts; that of the man
+who fell down the mimic shaft, and that of the daring
+hero who was lowered into the depths to bring him up.
+I knew one small chap who always insisted on playing
+BOTH of these parts&mdash;and he carried his point.
+He would tumble into the shaft and die, and then come
+to the surface and go back after his own remains.
+
+<p>It is the smartest boy that gets the hero part everywhere;
+he is head guide in Switzerland, head miner in Nevada,
+head bull-fighter in Spain, etc.; but I knew a preacher's son,
+seven years old, who once selected a part for himself compared
+to which those just mentioned are tame and unimpressive.
+Jimmy's father stopped him from driving imaginary
+horse-cars one Sunday&mdash;stopped him from playing captain
+of an imaginary steamboat next Sunday&mdash;stopped him
+from leading an imaginary army to battle the following
+Sunday&mdash;and so on.  Finally the little fellow said:
+
+<p>"I've tried everything, and they won't any of them do.
+What CAN I play?"
+
+<p>"I hardly know, Jimmy; but you MUST play only things
+that are suitable to the Sabbath-day."
+
+<p>Next Sunday the preacher stepped softly to a back-room
+door to see if the children were rightly employed.
+He peeped in.  A chair occupied the middle of the room,
+and on the back of it hung Jimmy's cap; one of his little
+sisters took the cap down, nibbled at it, then passed it
+to another small sister and said, "Eat of this fruit,
+for it is good." The Reverend took in the situation&mdash;alas,
+they were playing the Expulsion from Eden! Yet he found
+one little crumb of comfort.  He said to himself, "For once
+Jimmy has yielded the chief role&mdash;I have been wronging him,
+I did not believe there was so much modesty in him;
+I should have expected him to be either Adam or Eve."
+This crumb of comfort lasted but a very little while;
+he glanced around and discovered Jimmy standing in an
+imposing attitude in a corner, with a dark and deadly frown
+on his face.  What that meant was very plain&mdash;HE WAS
+IMPERSONATING THE DEITY! Think of the guileless sublimity of
+that idea.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p488"></a><img alt="p488.jpg (30K)" src="images/p488.jpg" height="387" width="549">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We reached Vispach at 8 P.M., only about seven hours
+out from St. Nicholas.  So we must have made fully
+a mile and a half an hour, and it was all downhill,
+too, and very muddy at that.  We stayed all night at
+the Hotel de Soleil; I remember it because the landlady,
+the portier, the waitress, and the chambermaid were not
+separate persons, but were all contained in one neat and
+chipper suit of spotless muslin, and she was the prettiest
+young creature I saw in all that region.  She was the
+landlord's daughter.  And I remember that the only native
+match to her I saw in all Europe was the young daughter
+of the landlord of a village inn in the Black Forest.
+Why don't more people in Europe marry and keep hotel?
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p489"></a><img alt="p489.jpg (18K)" src="images/p489.jpg" height="555" width="245">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Next morning we left with a family of English friends
+and went by train to Brevet, and thence by boat across
+the lake to Ouchy (Lausanne).
+
+<p>Ouchy is memorable to me, not on account of its beautiful
+situation and lovely surroundings&mdash;although these would
+make it stick long in one's memory&mdash;but as the place
+where _I_ caught the London TIMES dropping into humor.
+It was NOT aware of it, though.  It did not do it on purpose.
+An English friend called my attention to this lapse,
+and cut out the reprehensible paragraph for me.  Think of
+encountering a grin like this on the face of that grim
+journal:
+<blockquote>
+<p>ERRATUM.&mdash;We are requested by Reuter's Telegram Company
+to correct an erroneous announcement made in their Brisbane
+telegram of the 2d inst., published in our impression of the 5th
+inst., stating that "Lady Kennedy had given birth to twins,
+the eldest being a son." The Company explain that the message
+they received contained the words "Governor of Queensland,
+TWINS FIRST SON." Being, however, subsequently informed
+that Sir Arthur Kennedy was unmarried and that there
+must be some mistake, a telegraphic repetition was at
+once demanded.  It has been received today (11th inst.)
+and shows that the words really telegraphed by Reuter's
+agent were "Governor Queensland TURNS FIRST SOD,"
+alluding to the Maryborough-Gympic Railway in course
+of construction.  The words in italics were mutilated by
+the telegraph in transmission from Australia, and reaching
+the company in the form mentioned above gave rise to the mistake.
+</blockquote>
+
+<p>
+I had always had a deep and reverent compassion
+for the sufferings of the "prisoner of Chillon,"
+whose story Byron had told in such moving verse; so I took
+the steamer and made pilgrimage to the dungeons of the
+Castle of Chillon, to see the place where poor Bonnivard
+endured his dreary captivity three hundred years ago.
+I am glad I did that, for it took away some of the pain
+I was feeling on the prisoner's account.  His dungeon
+was a nice, cool, roomy place, and I cannot see why he
+should have been dissatisfied with it.  If he had been
+imprisoned in a St. Nicholas private dwelling, where the
+fertilizer prevails, and the goat sleeps with the guest,
+and the chickens roost on him and the cow comes in and
+bothers him when he wants to muse, it would have been
+another matter altogether; but he surely could not have
+had a very cheerless time of it in that pretty dungeon.
+It has romantic window-slits that let in generous bars
+of light, and it has tall, noble columns, carved apparently
+from the living rock; and what is more, they are written
+all over with thousands of names; some of them&mdash;like
+Byron's and Victor Hugo's&mdash;of the first celebrity.
+Why didn't he amuse himself reading these names? Then
+there are the couriers and tourists&mdash;swarms of them every
+day&mdash;what was to hinder him from having a good time
+with them? I think Bonnivard's sufferings have been overrated.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p491"></a><img alt="p491.jpg (44K)" src="images/p491.jpg" height="591" width="543">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Next, we took the train and went to Martigny, on the way
+to Mont Blanc.  Next morning we started, about eight
+o'clock, on foot.  We had plenty of company, in the way
+of wagon-loads and mule-loads of tourists&mdash;and dust.
+This scattering procession of travelers was perhaps a
+mile long.  The road was uphill&mdash;interminable uphill&mdash;and
+tolerably steep.  The weather was blisteringly hot,
+and the man or woman who had to sit on a creeping mule,
+or in a crawling wagon, and broil in the beating sun,
+was an object to be pitied.  We could dodge among the bushes,
+and have the relief of shade, but those people could not.
+They paid for a conveyance, and to get their money's worth
+they rode.
+
+<p>We went by the way of the Tête Noir, and after we
+reached high ground there was no lack of fine scenery.
+In one place the road was tunneled through a shoulder
+of the mountain; from there one looked down into a gorge
+with a rushing torrent in it, and on every hand was a
+charming view of rocky buttresses and wooded heights.
+There was a liberal allowance of pretty waterfalls, too,
+on the Tête Noir route.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p492"></a><img alt="p492.jpg (83K)" src="images/p492.jpg" height="929" width="541">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>About half an hour before we reached the village of
+Argentière a vast dome of snow with the sun blazing on it
+drifted into view and framed itself in a strong V-shaped
+gateway of the mountains, and we recognized Mont Blanc,
+the "monarch of the Alps." With every step, after that,
+this stately dome rose higher and higher into the blue sky,
+and at last seemed to occupy the zenith.
+
+<p>Some of Mont Blanc's neighbors&mdash;bare, light-brown, steeplelike
+rocks&mdash;were very peculiarly shaped.  Some were whittled
+to a sharp point, and slightly bent at the upper end,
+like a lady's finger; one monster sugar-loaf resembled
+a bishop's hat; it was too steep to hold snow on its sides,
+but had some in the division.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p494"></a><img alt="p494.jpg (91K)" src="images/p494.jpg" height="935" width="579">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>While we were still on very high ground, and before
+the descent toward Argentière began, we looked up
+toward a neighboring mountain-top, and saw exquisite
+prismatic colors playing about some white clouds which
+were so delicate as to almost resemble gossamer webs.
+The faint pinks and greens were peculiarly beautiful;
+none of the colors were deep, they were the lightest shades.
+They were bewitching commingled.  We sat down to study and
+enjoy this singular spectacle.  The tints remained during
+several minutes&mdash;flitting, changing, melting into each other;
+paling almost away for a moment, then reflushing&mdash;a shifting,
+restless, unstable succession of soft opaline gleams,
+shimmering over that air film of white cloud, and turning
+it into a fabric dainty enough to clothe an angel with.
+
+<p>By and by we perceived what those super-delicate colors,
+and their continuous play and movement, reminded us of;
+it is what one sees in a soap-bubble that is drifting along,
+catching changes of tint from the objects it passes.
+A soap-bubble is the most beautiful thing, and the
+most exquisite, in nature; that lovely phantom fabric
+in the sky was suggestive of a soap-bubble split open,
+and spread out in the sun.  I wonder how much it would take
+to buy a soap-bubble, if there was only one in the world?
+One could buy a hatful of Koh-i-Noors with the same money,
+no doubt.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p496"></a><img alt="p496.jpg (28K)" src="images/p496.jpg" height="385" width="441">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We made the tramp from Martigny to Argentie`re in eight hours.
+We beat all the mules and wagons; we didn't usually do that.
+We hired a sort of open baggage-wagon for the trip down
+the valley to Chamonix, and then devoted an hour to dining.
+This gave the driver time to get drunk.  He had a friend
+with him, and this friend also had had time to get drunk.
+
+<p>When we drove off, the driver said all the tourists had
+arrived and gone by while we were at dinner; "but," said he,
+impressively, "be not disturbed by that&mdash;remain tranquil&mdash;give
+yourselves no uneasiness&mdash;their dust rises far before
+us&mdash;rest you tranquil, leave all to me&mdash;I am the king of drivers.
+Behold!"
+
+<p>Down came his whip, and away we clattered.  I never had such
+a shaking up in my life.  The recent flooding rains had
+washed the road clear away in places, but we never stopped,
+we never slowed down for anything.  We tore right along,
+over rocks, rubbish, gullies, open fields&mdash;sometimes with
+one or two wheels on the ground, but generally with none.
+Every now and then that calm, good-natured madman would
+bend a majestic look over his shoulder at us and say,
+"Ah, you perceive? It is as I have said&mdash;I am the
+king of drivers." Every time we just missed going
+to destruction, he would say, with tranquil happiness,
+"Enjoy it, gentlemen, it is very rare, it is very
+unusual&mdash;it is given to few to ride with the king of
+drivers&mdash;and observe, it is as I have said, I am he."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p497"></a><img alt="p497.jpg (44K)" src="images/p497.jpg" height="411" width="547">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>He spoke in French, and punctuated with hiccoughs.
+His friend was French, too, but spoke in German&mdash;using
+the same system of punctuation, however.  The friend
+called himself the "Captain of Mont Blanc," and wanted us
+to make the ascent with him.  He said he had made more
+ascents than any other man&mdash;forty seven&mdash;and his brother
+had made thirty-seven. His brother was the best guide
+in the world, except himself&mdash;but he, yes, observe him
+well&mdash;he was the "Captain of Mont Blanc"&mdash;that title
+belonged to none other.
+
+<p>The "king" was as good as his word&mdash;he overtook that long
+procession of tourists and went by it like a hurricane.
+The result was that we got choicer rooms at the hotel
+in Chamonix than we should have done if his majesty
+had been a slower artist&mdash;or rather, if he hadn't most
+providentially got drunk before he left Argentie`re.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p498"></a><img alt="p498.jpg (13K)" src="images/p498.jpg" height="539" width="289">
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br>
+<br>
+
+
+<center>
+<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3>
+<tr><td>
+
+
+
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5786/5786-h/5786-h.htm">Previous Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+</td><td>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5788/5788-h/5788-h.htm">Next Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+
+
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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+</body>
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+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 6
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: March 1994 [EBook #5787]
+Posting Date: June 3, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 6.
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+(Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+First published in 1880
+
+Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS:
+
+     1.    PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR
+     2.    TITIAN'S MOSES
+     3.    THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES
+     236.  A SUNDAY MORNING'S DEMON
+     237.  JUST SAVED
+     238.  SCENE IN VALLEY OF ZERMATT
+     239.  ARRIVAL AT ZERMATT
+     240.  FITTED OUT
+     241.  A FEARFUL FALL
+     242.  TAIL PIECE
+     243.  ALL READY
+     244.  THE MARCH
+     245.  THE CARAVAN
+     246.  THE HOOK
+     247.  THE DISABLED CHAPLAIN
+     248.  TRYING EXPERIMENTS
+     249.  SAVED! SAVED!
+     250.  TWENTY MINUTES WORK
+     251.  THE BLACK RAM
+     252.  THE MIRACLE
+     253.  THE NEW GUIDE
+     251.  SCIENTIFIC RESEARCHES
+     255.  MOUNTAIN CHALET
+     256.  THE GRANDSON
+     257.  OCCASIONLY MET WITH
+     258.  SUMMIT OF THE GORNER GRAT
+     259.  CHIEFS OF THE ADVANCE GUARD
+     260.  MY PICTURE OF THE MATTERHORN
+     261.  EVERYBODY HAD AN EXCUSE
+     262.  SPRUNG A LEAK
+     263.  A SCIENTIFIC QUESTION
+     264.  A TERMINAL MORAINE
+     265.  FRONT OF GLACIER
+     266.  AN OLD MORAINE
+     267.  GLACIER OF ZERMATT WITH LATERAL MORAINE
+     269.  UNEXPECTED MEETING OF FRIENDS
+     269.  VILLAGE OF CHAMONIX
+     270.  THE MATTERHORN
+     271.  ON THE SUMMIT
+     272.  ACCIDENT ON THE MATTERHORN (1865)
+     273.  ROPED TOGETHER
+     274.  STORAGE OF ANCESTORS
+     275.  FALLING OUT OF HIS FARM
+     276.  CHILD LIFE IN SWITZERLAND
+     277.  A SUNDAY PLAY
+     278.  THE COMBINATION
+     279.  CHILLON
+     280.  THE TETE NOIR
+     281.  MONT BLANC'S NEIGHBORS
+     282.  AN EXQUISITE THING
+     283.  A WILD RIDE
+     284.  SWISS PEASANT GIRL
+
+
+
+CONTENTS: CHAPTER XXXVI Sunday Church Bells--A Cause of
+Profanity--A Magnificent Glacier--Fault Finding by Harris--Almost
+an Accident--Selfishness of Harris--Approaching Zermatt--The
+Matterhorn--Zermatt--Home of Mountain Climbers--Fitted out for
+Climbing--A Fearful Adventure --Never Satisfied
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII A Calm Decision--"I Will Ascend the
+Riffelberg"--Preparations for the Trip--All Zermatt on the
+Alert--Schedule of Persons and Things--An Unprecedented Display--A
+General Turn--out--Ready for a Start--The Post of Danger--The Advance
+Directed--Grand Display of Umbrellas--The First Camp--Almost a
+Panic--Supposed to be Lost--The First Accident--A Chaplain Disabled--An
+Experimenting Mule--Good Effects of a Blunder--Badly Lost--A
+Reconnoiter--Mystery and Doubt--Stern Measures Taken--A Black Ram--Saved
+by a Miracle--The Guide's Guide
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII Our Expedition Continued--Experiments with the
+Barometer--Boiling Thermometer--Barometer Soup--An Interesting
+Scientific Discovery--Crippling a Latinist--A Chaplain Injured--Short
+of Barkeepers--Digging a Mountain Cellar--A Young American
+Specimen--Somebody's Grandson--Arrival at Riffelberg Botel--Ascent of
+Gorner Grat--Faith in Thermometers--The Matterhorn
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX Guide Books--Plans for the Return of the Expedition--A
+Glacier Train--Parachute Descent from Gorner Grat--Proposed Honors
+to Harris Declined--All had an Excuse--A Magnificent Idea
+Abandoned--Descent to the Glacier--A Supposed Leak--A Slow Train--The
+Glacier Abandoned--Journey to Zermatt--A Scientific Question
+
+CHAPTER XL Glaciers--Glacier Perils--Moraines--Terminal
+Moraines--Lateral Moraines--Immense Size of Glacier--Traveling
+Glacier----General Movements of Glaciers--Ascent of Mont Blacc--Loss
+of Guides--Finding of Remains--Meeting of Old Friends--The Dead and
+Living--Proposed Museum--The Relics at Chamonix
+
+CHAPTER XLI The Matterhorn Catastrophe of 1563--Mr Whymper's
+Narrative--Ascent of the Matterhorn--The Summit--The Matterhorn
+Conquered--The Descent Commenced--A Fearful Disaster--Death of Lord
+Douglas and Two Others--The Graves of the Two
+
+CHAPTER XLII Switzerland--Graveyard at Zermatt--Balloting for
+Marriage--Farmers as Heroes--Falling off a Farm--From St Nicholas to
+Visp--Dangerous Traveling--Children's Play--The Parson's Children--A
+Landlord's Daughter--A Rare Combination--Ch iIIon--Lost Sympathy--Mont
+Blanc and its Neighbors--Beauty of Soap Bubbles--A Wild Drive--The King
+of Drivers--Benefit of getting Drunk
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVI
+
+[The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing]
+
+
+We did not oversleep at St. Nicholas. The church-bell began to ring at
+four-thirty in the morning, and from the length of time it continued
+to ring I judged that it takes the Swiss sinner a good while to get the
+invitation through his head. Most church-bells in the world are of poor
+quality, and have a harsh and rasping sound which upsets the temper and
+produces much sin, but the St. Nicholas bell is a good deal the worst
+one that has been contrived yet, and is peculiarly maddening in its
+operation. Still, it may have its right and its excuse to exist, for the
+community is poor and not every citizen can afford a clock, perhaps; but
+there cannot be any excuse for our church-bells at home, for there is
+no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair
+pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from
+our steeples. There is much more profanity in America on Sunday than in
+all in the other six days of the week put together, and it is of a more
+bitter and malignant character than the week-day profanity, too. It is
+produced by the cracked-pot clangor of the cheap church-bells.
+
+
+
+We build our churches almost without regard to cost; we rear an edifice
+which is an adornment to the town, and we gild it, and fresco it, and
+mortgage it, and do everything we can think of to perfect it, and then
+spoil it all by putting a bell on it which afflicts everybody who hears
+it, giving some the headache, others St. Vitus's dance, and the rest the
+blind staggers.
+
+An American village at ten o'clock on a summer Sunday is the quietest
+and peacefulest and holiest thing in nature; but it is a pretty
+different thing half an hour later. Mr. Poe's poem of the "Bells" stands
+incomplete to this day; but it is well enough that it is so, for the
+public reciter or "reader" who goes around trying to imitate the sounds
+of the various sorts of bells with his voice would find himself "up a
+stump" when he got to the church-bell--as Joseph Addison would say. The
+church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be
+a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. It is still
+clinging to one or two things which were useful once, but which are
+not useful now, neither are they ornamental. One is the bell-ringing
+to remind a clock-caked town that it is church-time, and another is the
+reading from the pulpit of a tedious list of "notices" which everybody
+who is interested has already read in the newspaper. The clergyman even
+reads the hymn through--a relic of an ancient time when hymn-books are
+scarce and costly; but everybody has a hymn-book, now, and so the public
+reading is no longer necessary. It is not merely unnecessary, it is
+generally painful; for the average clergyman could not fire into his
+congregation with a shotgun and hit a worse reader than himself, unless
+the weapon scattered shamefully. I am not meaning to be flippant and
+irreverent, I am only meaning to be truthful. The average clergyman, in
+all countries and of all denominations, is a very bad reader. One would
+think he would at least learn how to read the Lord's Prayer, by and by,
+but it is not so. He races through it as if he thought the quicker
+he got it in, the sooner it would be answered. A person who does not
+appreciate the exceeding value of pauses, and does not know how to
+measure their duration judiciously, cannot render the grand simplicity
+and dignity of a composition like that effectively.
+
+We took a tolerably early breakfast, and tramped off toward Zermatt
+through the reeking lanes of the village, glad to get away from that
+bell. By and by we had a fine spectacle on our right. It was the
+wall-like butt end of a huge glacier, which looked down on us from an
+Alpine height which was well up in the blue sky. It was an astonishing
+amount of ice to be compacted together in one mass. We ciphered upon it
+and decided that it was not less than several hundred feet from the base
+of the wall of solid ice to the top of it--Harris believed it was
+really twice that. We judged that if St. Paul's, St. Peter's, the Great
+Pyramid, the Strasburg Cathedral and the Capitol in Washington were
+clustered against that wall, a man sitting on its upper edge could not
+hang his hat on the top of any one of them without reaching down three
+or four hundred feet--a thing which, of course, no man could do.
+
+To me, that mighty glacier was very beautiful. I did not imagine that
+anybody could find fault with it; but I was mistaken. Harris had been
+snarling for several days. He was a rabid Protestant, and he was always
+saying:
+
+"In the Protestant cantons you never see such poverty and dirt and
+squalor as you do in this Catholic one; you never see the lanes and
+alleys flowing with foulness; you never see such wretched little sties
+of houses; you never see an inverted tin turnip on top of a church for
+a dome; and as for a church-bell, why, you never hear a church-bell at
+all."
+
+All this morning he had been finding fault, straight along. First it was
+with the mud. He said, "It ain't muddy in a Protestant canton when it
+rains." Then it was with the dogs: "They don't have those lop-eared dogs
+in a Protestant canton." Then it was with the roads: "They don't leave
+the roads to make themselves in a Protestant canton, the people make
+them--and they make a road that IS a road, too." Next it was the goats:
+"You never see a goat shedding tears in a Protestant canton--a goat,
+there, is one of the cheerfulest objects in nature." Next it was the
+chamois: "You never see a Protestant chamois act like one of these--they
+take a bite or two and go; but these fellows camp with you and stay."
+Then it was the guide-boards: "In a Protestant canton you couldn't get
+lost if you wanted to, but you never see a guide-board in a Catholic
+canton." Next, "You never see any flower-boxes in the windows,
+here--never anything but now and then a cat--a torpid one; but you take
+a Protestant canton: windows perfectly lovely with flowers--and as for
+cats, there's just acres of them. These folks in this canton leave a
+road to make itself, and then fine you three francs if you 'trot' over
+it--as if a horse could trot over such a sarcasm of a road." Next about
+the goiter: "THEY talk about goiter!--I haven't seen a goiter in this
+whole canton that I couldn't put in a hat."
+
+He had growled at everything, but I judged it would puzzle him to find
+anything the matter with this majestic glacier. I intimated as much; but
+he was ready, and said with surly discontent: "You ought to see them in
+the Protestant cantons."
+
+This irritated me. But I concealed the feeling, and asked:
+
+"What is the matter with this one?"
+
+"Matter? Why, it ain't in any kind of condition. They never take any
+care of a glacier here. The moraine has been spilling gravel around it,
+and got it all dirty."
+
+"Why, man, THEY can't help that."
+
+"THEY? You're right. That is, they WON'T. They could if they wanted to.
+You never see a speck of dirt on a Protestant glacier. Look at the Rhone
+glacier. It is fifteen miles long, and seven hundred feet thick. If this
+was a Protestant glacier you wouldn't see it looking like this, I can
+tell you."
+
+"That is nonsense. What would they do with it?"
+
+"They would whitewash it. They always do."
+
+I did not believe a word of this, but rather than have trouble I let it
+go; for it is a waste of breath to argue with a bigot. I even doubted if
+the Rhone glacier WAS in a Protestant canton; but I did not know, so I
+could not make anything by contradicting a man who would probably put me
+down at once with manufactured evidence.
+
+About nine miles from St. Nicholas we crossed a bridge over the raging
+torrent of the Visp, and came to a log strip of flimsy fencing which
+was pretending to secure people from tumbling over a perpendicular wall
+forty feet high and into the river. Three children were approaching; one
+of them, a little girl, about eight years old, was running; when pretty
+close to us she stumbled and fell, and her feet shot under the rail of
+the fence and for a moment projected over the stream. It gave us a
+sharp shock, for we thought she was gone, sure, for the ground slanted
+steeply, and to save herself seemed a sheer impossibility; but she
+managed to scramble up, and ran by us laughing.
+
+We went forward and examined the place and saw the long tracks which her
+feet had made in the dirt when they darted over the verge. If she had
+finished her trip she would have struck some big rocks in the edge of
+the water, and then the torrent would have snatched her downstream among
+the half-covered boulders and she would have been pounded to pulp in two
+minutes. We had come exceedingly near witnessing her death.
+
+
+
+And now Harris's contrary nature and inborn selfishness were strikingly
+manifested. He has no spirit of self-denial. He began straight off, and
+continued for an hour, to express his gratitude that the child was not
+destroyed. I never saw such a man. That was the kind of person he was;
+just so HE was gratified, he never cared anything about anybody else. I
+had noticed that trait in him, over and over again. Often, of course, it
+was mere heedlessness, mere want of reflection. Doubtless this may have
+been the case in most instances, but it was not the less hard to bar
+on that account--and after all, its bottom, its groundwork, was
+selfishness. There is no avoiding that conclusion. In the instance under
+consideration, I did think the indecency of running on in that way might
+occur to him; but no, the child was saved and he was glad, that was
+sufficient--he cared not a straw for MY feelings, or my loss of such a
+literary plum, snatched from my very mouth at the instant it was
+ready to drop into it. His selfishness was sufficient to place his own
+gratification in being spared suffering clear before all concern for
+me, his friend. Apparently, he did not once reflect upon the valuable
+details which would have fallen like a windfall to me: fishing the child
+out--witnessing the surprise of the family and the stir the thing would
+have made among the peasants--then a Swiss funeral--then the roadside
+monument, to be paid for by us and have our names mentioned in it. And
+we should have gone into Baedeker and been immortal. I was silent. I was
+too much hurt to complain. If he could act so, and be so heedless and so
+frivolous at such a time, and actually seem to glory in it, after all
+I had done for him, I would have cut my hand off before I would let him
+see that I was wounded.
+
+
+
+We were approaching Zermatt; consequently, we were approaching the
+renowned Matterhorn. A month before, this mountain had been only a name
+to us, but latterly we had been moving through a steadily thickening
+double row of pictures of it, done in oil, water, chromo, wood, steel,
+copper, crayon, and photography, and so it had at length become a shape
+to us--and a very distinct, decided, and familiar one, too. We were
+expecting to recognize that mountain whenever or wherever we should run
+across it. We were not deceived. The monarch was far away when we first
+saw him, but there was no such thing as mistaking him. He has the rare
+peculiarity of standing by himself; he is peculiarly steep, too, and is
+also most oddly shaped. He towers into the sky like a colossal wedge,
+with the upper third of its blade bent a little to the left. The broad
+base of this monster wedge is planted upon a grand glacier-paved Alpine
+platform whose elevation is ten thousand feet above sea-level; as the
+wedge itself is some five thousand feet high, it follows that its apex
+is about fifteen thousand feet above sea-level. So the whole bulk of
+this stately piece of rock, this sky-cleaving monolith, is above the
+line of eternal snow. Yet while all its giant neighbors have the look of
+being built of solid snow, from their waists up, the Matterhorn stands
+black and naked and forbidding, the year round, or merely powdered or
+streaked with white in places, for its sides are so steep that the
+snow cannot stay there. Its strange form, its august isolation, and its
+majestic unkinship with its own kind, make it--so to speak--the Napoleon
+of the mountain world. "Grand, gloomy, and peculiar," is a phrase which
+fits it as aptly as it fitted the great captain.
+
+Think of a monument a mile high, standing on a pedestal two miles high!
+This is what the Matterhorn is--a monument. Its office, henceforth, for
+all time, will be to keep watch and ward over the secret resting-place
+of the young Lord Douglas, who, in 1865, was precipitated from the
+summit over a precipice four thousand feet high, and never seen again.
+No man ever had such a monument as this before; the most imposing of
+the world's other monuments are but atoms compared to it; and they will
+perish, and their places will pass from memory, but this will remain.
+
+[The accident which cost Lord Douglas his life (see Chapter xii) also
+cost the lives of three other men. These three fell four-fifths of a
+mile, and their bodies were afterward found, lying side by side, upon a
+glacier, whence they were borne to Zermatt and buried in the churchyard.
+
+The remains of Lord Douglas have never been found. The secret of his
+sepulture, like that of Moses, must remain a mystery always.]
+
+A walk from St. Nicholas to Zermatt is a wonderful experience. Nature
+is built on a stupendous plan in that region. One marches continually
+between walls that are piled into the skies, with their upper heights
+broken into a confusion of sublime shapes that gleam white and cold
+against the background of blue; and here and there one sees a big
+glacier displaying its grandeurs on the top of a precipice, or a
+graceful cascade leaping and flashing down the green declivities. There
+is nothing tame, or cheap, or trivial--it is all magnificent. That
+short valley is a picture-gallery of a notable kind, for it contains
+no mediocrities; from end to end the Creator has hung it with His
+masterpieces.
+
+
+
+We made Zermatt at three in the afternoon, nine hours out from
+St. Nicholas. Distance, by guide-book, twelve miles; by pedometer
+seventy-two. We were in the heart and home of the mountain-climbers,
+now, as all visible things testified. The snow-peaks did not hold
+themselves aloof, in aristocratic reserve; they nestled close around,
+in a friendly, sociable way; guides, with the ropes and axes and other
+implements of their fearful calling slung about their persons, roosted
+in a long line upon a stone wall in front of the hotel, and waited for
+customers; sun-burnt climbers, in mountaineering costume, and followed
+by their guides and porters, arrived from time to time, from breakneck
+expeditions among the peaks and glaciers of the High Alps; male and
+female tourists, on mules, filed by, in a continuous procession,
+hotelward-bound from wild adventures which would grow in grandeur every
+time they were described at the English or American fireside, and at
+last outgrow the possible itself.
+
+We were not dreaming; this was not a make-believe home of the
+Alp-climber, created by our heated imaginations; no, for here was Mr.
+Girdlestone himself, the famous Englishman who hunts his way to the most
+formidable Alpine summits without a guide. I was not equal to imagining
+a Girdlestone; it was all I could do to even realize him, while looking
+straight at him at short range. I would rather face whole Hyde Parks of
+artillery than the ghastly forms of death which he has faced among the
+peaks and precipices of the mountains. There is probably no pleasure
+equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure
+which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. I have
+not jumped to this conclusion; I have traveled to it per gravel-train,
+so to speak. I have thought the thing all out, and am quite sure I am
+right. A born climber's appetite for climbing is hard to satisfy; when
+it comes upon him he is like a starving man with a feast before him; he
+may have other business on hand, but it must wait. Mr. Girdlestone had
+had his usual summer holiday in the Alps, and had spent it in his usual
+way, hunting for unique chances to break his neck; his vacation was
+over, and his luggage packed for England, but all of a sudden a hunger
+had come upon him to climb the tremendous Weisshorn once more, for he
+had heard of a new and utterly impossible route up it. His baggage
+was unpacked at once, and now he and a friend, laden with knapsacks,
+ice-axes, coils of rope, and canteens of milk, were just setting out.
+They would spend the night high up among the snows, somewhere, and
+get up at two in the morning and finish the enterprise. I had a
+strong desire to go with them, but forced it down--a feat which Mr.
+Girdlestone, with all his fortitude, could not do.
+
+Even ladies catch the climbing mania, and are unable to throw it off.
+A famous climber, of that sex, had attempted the Weisshorn a few days
+before our arrival, and she and her guides had lost their way in a
+snow-storm high up among the peaks and glaciers and been forced to
+wander around a good while before they could find a way down. When this
+lady reached the bottom, she had been on her feet twenty-three hours!
+
+Our guides, hired on the Gemmi, were already at Zermatt when we
+reached there. So there was nothing to interfere with our getting up an
+adventure whenever we should choose the time and the object. I resolved
+to devote my first evening in Zermatt to studying up the subject of
+Alpine climbing, by way of preparation.
+
+I read several books, and here are some of the things I found out. One's
+shoes must be strong and heavy, and have pointed hobnails in them. The
+alpenstock must be of the best wood, for if it should break, loss of
+life might be the result. One should carry an ax, to cut steps in the
+ice with, on the great heights. There must be a ladder, for there are
+steep bits of rock which can be surmounted with this instrument--or this
+utensil--but could not be surmounted without it; such an obstruction
+has compelled the tourist to waste hours hunting another route, when a
+ladder would have saved him all trouble. One must have from one hundred
+and fifty to five hundred feet of strong rope, to be used in lowering
+the party down steep declivities which are too steep and smooth to
+be traversed in any other way. One must have a steel hook, on another
+rope--a very useful thing; for when one is ascending and comes to a low
+bluff which is yet too high for the ladder, he swings this rope aloft
+like a lasso, the hook catches at the top of the bluff, and then the
+tourist climbs the rope, hand over hand--being always particular to try
+and forget that if the hook gives way he will never stop falling till
+he arrives in some part of Switzerland where they are not expecting him.
+Another important thing--there must be a rope to tie the whole party
+together with, so that if one falls from a mountain or down a bottomless
+chasm in a glacier, the others may brace back on the rope and save him.
+One must have a silk veil, to protect his face from snow, sleet, hail
+and gale, and colored goggles to protect his eyes from that dangerous
+enemy, snow-blindness. Finally, there must be some porters, to carry
+provisions, wine and scientific instruments, and also blanket bags for
+the party to sleep in.
+
+
+
+I closed my readings with a fearful adventure which Mr. Whymper once had
+on the Matterhorn when he was prowling around alone, five thousand
+feet above the town of Breil. He was edging his way gingerly around
+the corner of a precipice where the upper edge of a sharp declivity of
+ice-glazed snow joined it. This declivity swept down a couple of hundred
+feet, into a gully which curved around and ended at a precipice eight
+hundred feet high, overlooking a glacier. His foot slipped, and he fell.
+
+He says:
+
+"My knapsack brought my head down first, and I pitched into some rocks
+about a dozen feet below; they caught something, and tumbled me off
+the edge, head over heels, into the gully; the baton was dashed from my
+hands, and I whirled downward in a series of bounds, each longer than
+the last; now over ice, now into rocks, striking my head four or five
+times, each time with increased force. The last bound sent me spinning
+through the air in a leap of fifty or sixty feet, from one side of the
+gully to the other, and I struck the rocks, luckily, with the whole of
+my left side. They caught my clothes for a moment, and I fell back on to
+the snow with motion arrested. My head fortunately came the right side
+up, and a few frantic catches brought me to a halt, in the neck of the
+gully and on the verge of the precipice. Baton, hat, and veil skimmed
+by and disappeared, and the crash of the rocks--which I had started--as
+they fell on to the glacier, told how narrow had been the escape from
+utter destruction. As it was, I fell nearly two hundred feet in seven or
+eight bounds. Ten feet more would have taken me in one gigantic leap of
+eight hundred feet on to the glacier below.
+
+
+
+"The situation was sufficiently serious. The rocks could not be let go
+for a moment, and the blood was spurting out of more than twenty cuts.
+The most serious ones were in the head, and I vainly tried to close
+them with one hand, while holding on with the other. It was useless;
+the blood gushed out in blinding jets at each pulsation. At last, in a
+moment of inspiration, I kicked out a big lump of snow and struck it
+as plaster on my head. The idea was a happy one, and the flow of blood
+diminished. Then, scrambling up, I got, not a moment too soon, to
+a place of safety, and fainted away. The sun was setting when
+consciousness returned, and it was pitch-dark before the Great Staircase
+was descended; but by a combination of luck and care, the whole four
+thousand seven hundred feet of descent to Breil was accomplished without
+a slip, or once missing the way."
+
+His wounds kept him abed some days. Then he got up and climbed that
+mountain again. That is the way with a true Alp-climber; the more fun he
+has, the more he wants.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVII
+
+[Our Imposing Column Starts Upward]
+
+
+After I had finished my readings, I was no longer myself; I was tranced,
+uplifted, intoxicated, by the almost incredible perils and adventures
+I had been following my authors through, and the triumphs I had been
+sharing with them. I sat silent some time, then turned to Harris and
+said:
+
+"My mind is made up."
+
+Something in my tone struck him: and when he glanced at my eye and
+read what was written there, his face paled perceptibly. He hesitated a
+moment, then said:
+
+"Speak."
+
+I answered, with perfect calmness:
+
+"I will ascend the Riffelberg."
+
+If I had shot my poor friend he could not have fallen from his chair
+more suddenly. If I had been his father he could not have pleaded harder
+to get me to give up my purpose. But I turned a deaf ear to all he said.
+When he perceived at last that nothing could alter my determination, he
+ceased to urge, and for a while the deep silence was broken only by his
+sobs. I sat in marble resolution, with my eyes fixed upon vacancy, for
+in spirit I was already wrestling with the perils of the mountains, and
+my friend sat gazing at me in adoring admiration through his tears.
+At last he threw himself upon me in a loving embrace and exclaimed in
+broken tones:
+
+"Your Harris will never desert you. We will die together."
+
+I cheered the noble fellow with praises, and soon his fears were
+forgotten and he was eager for the adventure. He wanted to summon the
+guides at once and leave at two in the morning, as he supposed the
+custom was; but I explained that nobody was looking at that hour; and
+that the start in the dark was not usually made from the village but
+from the first night's resting-place on the mountain side. I said we
+would leave the village at 3 or 4 P.M. on the morrow; meantime he could
+notify the guides, and also let the public know of the attempt which we
+proposed to make.
+
+I went to bed, but not to sleep. No man can sleep when he is about to
+undertake one of these Alpine exploits. I tossed feverishly all night
+long, and was glad enough when I heard the clock strike half past eleven
+and knew it was time to get up for dinner. I rose, jaded and rusty, and
+went to the noon meal, where I found myself the center of interest and
+curiosity; for the news was already abroad. It is not easy to eat calmly
+when you are a lion; but it is very pleasant, nevertheless.
+
+As usual, at Zermatt, when a great ascent is about to be undertaken,
+everybody, native and foreign, laid aside his own projects and took up
+a good position to observe the start. The expedition consisted of 198
+persons, including the mules; or 205, including the cows. As follows:
+
+    CHIEFS OF SERVICE     SUBORDINATES
+
+     Myself      1  Veterinary Surgeon
+     Mr. Harris  1  Butler
+ 17  Guides     12  Waiters
+ 4  Surgeons     1  Footman
+ 1  Geologist    1  Barber
+ 1  Botanist     1  Head Cook
+ 3  Chaplains    9  Assistants
+ 2  Draftsman    4  Pastry Cooks
+ 15  Barkeepers  1  Confectionery Artist
+ 1  Latinist
+
+     TRANSPORTATION, ETC.
+
+ 27  Porters     3  Coarse Washers and Ironers
+ 44  Mules       1  Fine ditto
+ 44  Muleteers   7  Cows
+                 2  Milkers
+
+Total, 154 men, 51 animals. Grand Total, 205.
+
+
+      RATIONS, ETC.          APPARATUS
+
+ 16  Cases Hams      25  Spring Mattresses
+ 2  Barrels Flour     2  Hair ditto
+ 22  Barrels Whiskey     Bedding for same
+ 1  Barrel Sugar      2  Mosquito-nets
+ 1  Keg Lemons       29  Tents
+ 2,000 Cigars            Scientific Instruments
+ 1  Barrel Pies      97  Ice-axes
+ 1  Ton of Pemmican   5  Cases Dynamite
+ 143  Pair Crutches   7  Cans Nitroglycerin
+ 2  Barrels Arnica   22  40-foot Ladders
+ 1  Bale of Lint      2  Miles of Rope
+ 27  Kegs Paregoric 154  Umbrellas
+
+It was full four o'clock in the afternoon before my cavalcade was
+entirely ready. At that hour it began to move. In point of numbers and
+spectacular effect, it was the most imposing expedition that had ever
+marched from Zermatt.
+
+
+
+I commanded the chief guide to arrange the men and animals in single
+file, twelve feet apart, and lash them all together on a strong rope. He
+objected that the first two miles was a dead level, with plenty of room,
+and that the rope was never used except in very dangerous places. But
+I would not listen to that. My reading had taught me that many serious
+accidents had happened in the Alps simply from not having the people
+tied up soon enough; I was not going to add one to the list. The guide
+then obeyed my order.
+
+When the procession stood at ease, roped together, and ready to move, I
+never saw a finer sight. It was 3,122 feet long--over half a mile; every
+man and me was on foot, and had on his green veil and his blue goggles,
+and his white rag around his hat, and his coil of rope over one shoulder
+and under the other, and his ice-ax in his belt, and carried his
+alpenstock in his left hand, his umbrella (closed) in his right, and his
+crutches slung at his back. The burdens of the pack-mules and the horns
+of the cows were decked with the Edelweiss and the Alpine rose.
+
+I and my agent were the only persons mounted. We were in the post of
+danger in the extreme rear, and tied securely to five guides apiece. Our
+armor-bearers carried our ice-axes, alpenstocks, and other implements
+for us. We were mounted upon very small donkeys, as a measure of safety;
+in time of peril we could straighten our legs and stand up, and let
+the donkey walk from under. Still, I cannot recommend this sort of
+animal--at least for excursions of mere pleasure--because his
+ears interrupt the view. I and my agent possessed the regulation
+mountaineering costumes, but concluded to leave them behind. Out of
+respect for the great numbers of tourists of both sexes who would be
+assembled in front of the hotels to see us pass, and also out of respect
+for the many tourists whom we expected to encounter on our expedition,
+we decided to make the ascent in evening dress.
+
+
+
+We watered the caravan at the cold stream which rushes down a trough
+near the end of the village, and soon afterward left the haunts of
+civilization behind us. About half past five o'clock we arrived at a
+bridge which spans the Visp, and after throwing over a detachment to see
+if it was safe, the caravan crossed without accident. The way now led,
+by a gentle ascent, carpeted with fresh green grass, to the church at
+Winkelmatten. Without stopping to examine this edifice, I executed
+a flank movement to the right and crossed the bridge over the
+Findelenbach, after first testing its strength. Here I deployed to the
+right again, and presently entered an inviting stretch of meadowland
+which was unoccupied save by a couple of deserted huts toward the
+furthest extremity. These meadows offered an excellent camping-place.
+We pitched our tents, supped, established a proper grade, recorded the
+events of the day, and then went to bed.
+
+We rose at two in the morning and dressed by candle-light. It was a
+dismal and chilly business. A few stars were shining, but the general
+heavens were overcast, and the great shaft of the Matterhorn was draped
+in a cable pall of clouds. The chief guide advised a delay; he said he
+feared it was going to rain. We waited until nine o'clock, and then got
+away in tolerably clear weather.
+
+
+
+Our course led up some terrific steeps, densely wooded with larches and
+cedars, and traversed by paths which the rains had guttered and which
+were obstructed by loose stones. To add to the danger and inconvenience,
+we were constantly meeting returning tourists on foot and horseback, and
+as constantly being crowded and battered by ascending tourists who were
+in a hurry and wanted to get by.
+
+Our troubles thickened. About the middle of the afternoon the seventeen
+guides called a halt and held a consultation. After consulting an hour
+they said their first suspicion remained intact--that is to say, they
+believed they were lost. I asked if they did not KNOW it? No, they said,
+they COULDN'T absolutely know whether they were lost or not, because
+none of them had ever been in that part of the country before. They had
+a strong instinct that they were lost, but they had no proofs--except
+that they did not know where they were. They had met no tourists for
+some time, and they considered that a suspicious sign.
+
+Plainly we were in an ugly fix. The guides were naturally unwilling to
+go alone and seek a way out of the difficulty; so we all went together.
+For better security we moved slow and cautiously, for the forest was
+very dense. We did not move up the mountain, but around it, hoping to
+strike across the old trail. Toward nightfall, when we were about tired
+out, we came up against a rock as big as a cottage. This barrier took
+all the remaining spirit out of the men, and a panic of fear and despair
+ensued. They moaned and wept, and said they should never see their homes
+and their dear ones again. Then they began to upbraid me for bringing
+them upon this fatal expedition. Some even muttered threats against me.
+
+Clearly it was no time to show weakness. So I made a speech in which I
+said that other Alp-climbers had been in as perilous a position as this,
+and yet by courage and perseverance had escaped. I promised to stand
+by them, I promised to rescue them. I closed by saying we had plenty
+of provisions to maintain us for quite a siege--and did they suppose
+Zermatt would allow half a mile of men and mules to mysteriously
+disappear during any considerable time, right above their noses, and
+make no inquiries? No, Zermatt would send out searching-expeditions and
+we should be saved.
+
+This speech had a great effect. The men pitched the tents with some
+little show of cheerfulness, and we were snugly under cover when the
+night shut down. I now reaped the reward of my wisdom in providing one
+article which is not mentioned in any book of Alpine adventure but this.
+I refer to the paregoric. But for that beneficent drug, would have not
+one of those men slept a moment during that fearful night. But for that
+gentle persuader they must have tossed, unsoothed, the night through;
+for the whiskey was for me. Yes, they would have risen in the morning
+unfitted for their heavy task. As it was, everybody slept but my agent
+and me--only we and the barkeepers. I would not permit myself to sleep
+at such a time. I considered myself responsible for all those lives. I
+meant to be on hand and ready, in case of avalanches up there, but I did
+not know it then.
+
+We watched the weather all through that awful night, and kept an eye on
+the barometer, to be prepared for the least change. There was not the
+slightest change recorded by the instrument, during the whole time.
+Words cannot describe the comfort that that friendly, hopeful, steadfast
+thing was to me in that season of trouble. It was a defective barometer,
+and had no hand but the stationary brass pointer, but I did not know
+that until afterward. If I should be in such a situation again, I should
+not wish for any barometer but that one.
+
+
+
+All hands rose at two in the morning and took breakfast, and as soon as
+it was light we roped ourselves together and went at that rock. For some
+time we tried the hook-rope and other means of scaling it, but without
+success--that is, without perfect success. The hook caught once, and
+Harris started up it hand over hand, but the hold broke and if there
+had not happened to be a chaplain sitting underneath at the time, Harris
+would certainly have been crippled. As it was, it was the chaplain. He
+took to his crutches, and I ordered the hook-rope to be laid aside. It
+was too dangerous an implement where so many people are standing around.
+
+
+
+We were puzzled for a while; then somebody thought of the ladders.
+One of these was leaned against the rock, and the men went up it tied
+together in couples. Another ladder was sent up for use in descending.
+At the end of half an hour everybody was over, and that rock was
+conquered. We gave our first grand shout of triumph. But the joy was
+short-lived, for somebody asked how we were going to get the animals
+over.
+
+This was a serious difficulty; in fact, it was an impossibility.
+The courage of the men began to waver immediately; once more we were
+threatened with a panic. But when the danger was most imminent, we were
+saved in a mysterious way. A mule which had attracted attention from the
+beginning by its disposition to experiment, tried to eat a five-pound
+can of nitroglycerin. This happened right alongside the rock. The
+explosion threw us all to the ground, and covered us with dirt and
+debris; it frightened us extremely, too, for the crash it made was
+deafening, and the violence of the shock made the ground tremble.
+However, we were grateful, for the rock was gone. Its place was occupied
+by a new cellar, about thirty feet across, by fifteen feet deep. The
+explosion was heard as far as Zermatt; and an hour and a half afterward,
+many citizens of that town were knocked down and quite seriously injured
+by descending portions of mule meat, frozen solid. This shows, better
+than any estimate in figures, how high the experimenter went.
+
+
+
+We had nothing to do, now, but bridge the cellar and proceed on our way.
+With a cheer the men went at their work. I attended to the engineering,
+myself. I appointed a strong detail to cut down trees with ice-axes and
+trim them for piers to support the bridge. This was a slow business, for
+ice-axes are not good to cut wood with. I caused my piers to be firmly
+set up in ranks in the cellar, and upon them I laid six of my forty-foot
+ladders, side by side, and laid six more on top of them. Upon this
+bridge I caused a bed of boughs to be spread, and on top of the boughs
+a bed of earth six inches deep. I stretched ropes upon either side to
+serve as railings, and then my bridge was complete. A train of elephants
+could have crossed it in safety and comfort. By nightfall the caravan
+was on the other side and the ladders were taken up.
+
+Next morning we went on in good spirits for a while, though our way
+was slow and difficult, by reason of the steep and rocky nature of the
+ground and the thickness of the forest; but at last a dull despondency
+crept into the men's faces and it was apparent that not only they, but
+even the guides, were now convinced that we were lost. The fact that we
+still met no tourists was a circumstance that was but too significant.
+Another thing seemed to suggest that we were not only lost, but very
+badly lost; for there must surely be searching-parties on the road
+before this time, yet we had seen no sign of them.
+
+Demoralization was spreading; something must be done, and done quickly,
+too. Fortunately, I am not unfertile in expedients. I contrived one
+now which commended itself to all, for it promised well. I took
+three-quarters of a mile of rope and fastened one end of it around the
+waist of a guide, and told him to go find the road, while the caravan
+waited. I instructed him to guide himself back by the rope, in case of
+failure; in case of success, he was to give the rope a series of violent
+jerks, whereupon the Expedition would go to him at once. He departed,
+and in two minutes had disappeared among the trees. I payed out the rope
+myself, while everybody watched the crawling thing with eager eyes.
+The rope crept away quite slowly, at times, at other times with some
+briskness. Twice or thrice we seemed to get the signal, and a shout was
+just ready to break from the men's lips when they perceived it was a
+false alarm. But at last, when over half a mile of rope had slidden
+away, it stopped gliding and stood absolutely still--one minute--two
+minutes--three--while we held our breath and watched.
+
+Was the guide resting? Was he scanning the country from some high point?
+Was he inquiring of a chance mountaineer? Stop,--had he fainted from
+excess of fatigue and anxiety?
+
+This thought gave us a shock. I was in the very first act of detailing
+an Expedition to succor him, when the cord was assailed with a series of
+such frantic jerks that I could hardly keep hold of it. The huzza that
+went up, then, was good to hear. "Saved! saved!" was the word that rang
+out, all down the long rank of the caravan.
+
+
+
+We rose up and started at once. We found the route to be good enough
+for a while, but it began to grow difficult, by and by, and this feature
+steadily increased. When we judged we had gone half a mile, we momently
+expected to see the guide; but no, he was not visible anywhere; neither
+was he waiting, for the rope was still moving, consequently he was
+doing the same. This argued that he had not found the road, yet, but
+was marching to it with some peasant. There was nothing for us to do
+but plod along--and this we did. At the end of three hours we were
+still plodding. This was not only mysterious, but exasperating. And very
+fatiguing, too; for we had tried hard, along at first, to catch up with
+the guide, but had only fagged ourselves, in vain; for although he was
+traveling slowly he was yet able to go faster than the hampered caravan
+over such ground.
+
+At three in the afternoon we were nearly dead with exhaustion--and still
+the rope was slowly gliding out. The murmurs against the guide had been
+growing steadily, and at last they were become loud and savage. A mutiny
+ensued. The men refused to proceed. They declared that we had been
+traveling over and over the same ground all day, in a kind of circle.
+They demanded that our end of the rope be made fast to a tree, so as to
+halt the guide until we could overtake him and kill him. This was not an
+unreasonable requirement, so I gave the order.
+
+As soon as the rope was tied, the Expedition moved forward with that
+alacrity which the thirst for vengeance usually inspires. But after a
+tiresome march of almost half a mile, we came to a hill covered thick
+with a crumbly rubbish of stones, and so steep that no man of us all
+was now in a condition to climb it. Every attempt failed, and ended in
+crippling somebody. Within twenty minutes I had five men on crutches.
+
+
+
+Whenever a climber tried to assist himself by the rope, it yielded and
+let him tumble backward. The frequency of this result suggested an idea
+to me. I ordered the caravan to 'bout face and form in marching order; I
+then made the tow-rope fast to the rear mule, and gave the command:
+
+"Mark time--by the right flank--forward--march!"
+
+
+
+The procession began to move, to the impressive strains of a
+battle-chant, and I said to myself, "Now, if the rope don't break I
+judge THIS will fetch that guide into the camp." I watched the rope
+gliding down the hill, and presently when I was all fixed for triumph
+I was confronted by a bitter disappointment; there was no guide tied to
+the rope, it was only a very indignant old black ram. The fury of the
+baffled Expedition exceeded all bounds. They even wanted to wreak their
+unreasoning vengeance on this innocent dumb brute. But I stood between
+them and their prey, menaced by a bristling wall of ice-axes and
+alpenstocks, and proclaimed that there was but one road to this murder,
+and it was directly over my corpse. Even as I spoke I saw that my doom
+was sealed, except a miracle supervened to divert these madmen from
+their fell purpose. I see the sickening wall of weapons now; I see that
+advancing host as I saw it then, I see the hate in those cruel eyes; I
+remember how I drooped my head upon my breast, I feel again the
+sudden earthquake shock in my rear, administered by the very ram I was
+sacrificing myself to save; I hear once more the typhoon of laughter
+that burst from the assaulting column as I clove it from van to rear
+like a Sepoy shot from a Rodman gun.
+
+
+
+I was saved. Yes, I was saved, and by the merciful instinct of
+ingratitude which nature had planted in the breast of that treacherous
+beast. The grace which eloquence had failed to work in those men's
+hearts, had been wrought by a laugh. The ram was set free and my life
+was spared.
+
+We lived to find out that that guide had deserted us as soon as he had
+placed a half-mile between himself and us. To avert suspicion, he had
+judged it best that the line should continue to move; so he caught that
+ram, and at the time that he was sitting on it making the rope fast to
+it, we were imagining that he was lying in a swoon, overcome by fatigue
+and distress. When he allowed the ram to get up it fell to plunging
+around, trying to rid itself of the rope, and this was the signal which
+we had risen up with glad shouts to obey. We had followed this ram round
+and round in a circle all day--a thing which was proven by the discovery
+that we had watered the Expedition seven times at one and same spring in
+seven hours. As expert a woodman as I am, I had somehow failed to notice
+this until my attention was called to it by a hog. This hog was always
+wallowing there, and as he was the only hog we saw, his frequent
+repetition, together with his unvarying similarity to himself, finally
+caused me to reflect that he must be the same hog, and this led me to
+the deduction that this must be the same spring, also--which indeed it
+was.
+
+I made a note of this curious thing, as showing in a striking manner the
+relative difference between glacial action and the action of the hog.
+It is now a well-established fact that glaciers move; I consider that
+my observations go to show, with equal conclusiveness, that a hog in a
+spring does not move. I shall be glad to receive the opinions of other
+observers upon this point.
+
+To return, for an explanatory moment, to that guide, and then I shall be
+done with him. After leaving the ram tied to the rope, he had wandered
+at large a while, and then happened to run across a cow. Judging that a
+cow would naturally know more than a guide, he took her by the tail,
+and the result justified his judgment. She nibbled her leisurely way
+downhill till it was near milking-time, then she struck for home and
+towed him into Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXVIII
+
+[I Conquer the Gorner Grat]
+
+
+We went into camp on that wild spot to which that ram had brought us.
+The men were greatly fatigued. Their conviction that we were lost was
+forgotten in the cheer of a good supper, and before the reaction had a
+chance to set in, I loaded them up with paregoric and put them to bed.
+
+Next morning I was considering in my mind our desperate situation and
+trying to think of a remedy, when Harris came to me with a Baedeker
+map which showed conclusively that the mountain we were on was still in
+Switzerland--yes, every part of it was in Switzerland. So we were not
+lost, after all. This was an immense relief; it lifted the weight of two
+such mountains from my breast. I immediately had the news disseminated
+and the map was exhibited. The effect was wonderful. As soon as the men
+saw with their own eyes that they knew where they were, and that it
+was only the summit that was lost and not themselves, they cheered up
+instantly and said with one accord, let the summit take care of itself.
+
+Our distresses being at an end, I now determined to rest the men in camp
+and give the scientific department of the Expedition a chance. First,
+I made a barometric observation, to get our altitude, but I could not
+perceive that there was any result. I knew, by my scientific reading,
+that either thermometers or barometers ought to be boiled, to make them
+accurate; I did not know which it was, so I boiled them both. There was
+still no result; so I examined these instruments and discovered that
+they possessed radical blemishes: the barometer had no hand but the
+brass pointer and the ball of the thermometer was stuffed with tin-foil.
+I might have boiled those things to rags, and never found out anything.
+
+I hunted up another barometer; it was new and perfect. I boiled it half
+an hour in a pot of bean soup which the cooks were making. The result
+was unexpected: the instrument was not affecting at all, but there was
+such a strong barometer taste to the soup that the head cook, who was
+a most conscientious person, changed its name in the bill of fare.
+The dish was so greatly liked by all, that I ordered the cook to have
+barometer soup every day.
+
+
+
+It was believed that the barometer might eventually be injured, but I
+did not care for that. I had demonstrated to my satisfaction that it
+could not tell how high a mountain was, therefore I had no real use for
+it. Changes in the weather I could take care of without it; I did not
+wish to know when the weather was going to be good, what I wanted to
+know was when it was going to be bad, and this I could find out from
+Harris's corns. Harris had had his corns tested and regulated at the
+government observatory in Heidelberg, and one could depend upon them
+with confidence. So I transferred the new barometer to the cooking
+department, to be used for the official mess. It was found that even a
+pretty fair article of soup could be made from the defective barometer;
+so I allowed that one to be transferred to the subordinate mess.
+
+I next boiled the thermometer, and got a most excellent result; the
+mercury went up to about 200 degrees Fahrenheit. In the opinion of the
+other scientists of the Expedition, this seemed to indicate that we had
+attained the extraordinary altitude of two hundred thousand feet above
+sea-level. Science places the line of eternal snow at about ten thousand
+feet above sea-level. There was no snow where we were, consequently
+it was proven that the eternal snow-line ceases somewhere above the
+ten-thousand-foot level and does not begin any more. This was an
+interesting fact, and one which had not been observed by any observer
+before. It was as valuable as interesting, too, since it would open up
+the deserted summits of the highest Alps to population and agriculture.
+It was a proud thing to be where we were, yet it caused us a pang
+to reflect that but for that ram we might just as well have been two
+hundred thousand feet higher.
+
+The success of my last experiment induced me to try an experiment with
+my photographic apparatus. I got it out, and boiled one of my cameras,
+but the thing was a failure; it made the wood swell up and burst, and I
+could not see that the lenses were any better than they were before.
+
+I now concluded to boil a guide. It might improve him, it could not
+impair his usefulness. But I was not allowed to proceed. Guides have
+no feeling for science, and this one would not consent to be made
+uncomfortable in its interest.
+
+In the midst of my scientific work, one of those needless accidents
+happened which are always occurring among the ignorant and thoughtless.
+A porter shot at a chamois and missed it and crippled the Latinist.
+This was not a serious matter to me, for a Latinist's duties are as well
+performed on crutches as otherwise--but the fact remained that if the
+Latinist had not happened to be in the way a mule would have got that
+load. That would have been quite another matter, for when it comes down
+to a question of value there is a palpable difference between a Latinist
+and a mule. I could not depend on having a Latinist in the right place
+every time; so, to make things safe, I ordered that in the future the
+chamois must not be hunted within limits of the camp with any other
+weapon than the forefinger.
+
+My nerves had hardly grown quiet after this affair when they got another
+shake-up--one which utterly unmanned me for a moment: a rumor swept
+suddenly through the camp that one of the barkeepers had fallen over a
+precipice!
+
+However, it turned out that it was only a chaplain. I had laid in an
+extra force of chaplains, purposely to be prepared for emergencies
+like this, but by some unaccountable oversight had come away rather
+short-handed in the matter of barkeepers.
+
+On the following morning we moved on, well refreshed and in good
+spirits. I remember this day with peculiar pleasure, because it saw
+our road restored to us. Yes, we found our road again, and in quite an
+extraordinary way. We had plodded along some two hours and a half, when
+we came up against a solid mass of rock about twenty feet high. I did
+not need to be instructed by a mule this time. I was already beginning
+to know more than any mule in the Expedition. I at once put in a blast
+of dynamite, and lifted that rock out of the way. But to my surprise and
+mortification, I found that there had been a chalet on top of it.
+
+I picked up such members of the family as fell in my vicinity, and
+subordinates of my corps collected the rest. None of these poor people
+were injured, happily, but they were much annoyed. I explained to
+the head chaleteer just how the thing happened, and that I was only
+searching for the road, and would certainly have given him timely notice
+if I had known he was up there. I said I had meant no harm, and hoped
+I had not lowered myself in his estimation by raising him a few rods in
+the air. I said many other judicious things, and finally when I offered
+to rebuild his chalet, and pay for the breakages, and throw in the
+cellar, he was mollified and satisfied. He hadn't any cellar at all,
+before; he would not have as good a view, now, as formerly, but what he
+had lost in view he had gained in cellar, by exact measurement. He said
+there wasn't another hole like that in the mountains--and he would have
+been right if the late mule had not tried to eat up the nitroglycerin.
+
+I put a hundred and sixteen men at work, and they rebuilt the chalet
+from its own debris in fifteen minutes. It was a good deal more
+picturesque than it was before, too. The man said we were now on the
+Feil-Stutz, above the Schwegmatt--information which I was glad to get,
+since it gave us our position to a degree of particularity which we had
+not been accustomed to for a day or so. We also learned that we were
+standing at the foot of the Riffelberg proper, and that the initial
+chapter of our work was completed.
+
+
+
+We had a fine view, from here, of the energetic Visp, as it makes its
+first plunge into the world from under a huge arch of solid ice, worn
+through the foot-wall of the great Gorner Glacier; and we could also see
+the Furggenbach, which is the outlet of the Furggen Glacier.
+
+The mule-road to the summit of the Riffelberg passed right in front of
+the chalet, a circumstance which we almost immediately noticed, because
+a procession of tourists was filing along it pretty much all the time.
+
+"Pretty much" may not be elegant English, but it is high time it was.
+There is no elegant word or phrase which means just what it means.--M.T.
+
+The chaleteer's business consisted in furnishing refreshments to
+tourists. My blast had interrupted this trade for a few minutes, by
+breaking all the bottles on the place; but I gave the man a lot of
+whiskey to sell for Alpine champagne, and a lot of vinegar which would
+answer for Rhine wine, consequently trade was soon as brisk as ever.
+
+Leaving the Expedition outside to rest, I quartered myself in the
+chalet, with Harris, proposing to correct my journals and scientific
+observations before continuing the ascent. I had hardly begun my work
+when a tall, slender, vigorous American youth of about twenty-three, who
+was on his way down the mountain, entered and came toward me with that
+breezy self-complacency which is the adolescent's idea of the well-bred
+ease of the man of the world. His hair was short and parted accurately
+in the middle, and he had all the look of an American person who would
+be likely to begin his signature with an initial, and spell his middle
+name out. He introduced himself, smiling a smirky smile borrowed from
+the courtiers of the stage, extended a fair-skinned talon, and while he
+gripped my hand in it he bent his body forward three times at the
+hips, as the stage courtier does, and said in the airiest and most
+condescending and patronizing way--I quite remember his exact language:
+
+"Very glad to make your acquaintance, 'm sure; very glad indeed, assure
+you. I've read all your little efforts and greatly admired them, and
+when I heard you were here, I ..."
+
+I indicated a chair, and he sat down. This grandee was the grandson of
+an American of considerable note in his day, and not wholly forgotten
+yet--a man who came so near being a great man that he was quite
+generally accounted one while he lived.
+
+
+
+I slowly paced the floor, pondering scientific problems, and heard this
+conversation:
+
+GRANDSON. First visit to Europe?
+
+HARRIS. Mine? Yes.
+
+G.S. (With a soft reminiscent sigh suggestive of bygone joys that may
+be tasted in their freshness but once.) Ah, I know what it is to you. A
+first visit!--ah, the romance of it! I wish I could feel it again.
+
+H. Yes, I find it exceeds all my dreams. It is enchantment. I go...
+
+G.S. (With a dainty gesture of the hand signifying "Spare me your callow
+enthusiasms, good friend.") Yes, _I_ know, I know; you go to cathedrals,
+and exclaim; and you drag through league-long picture-galleries and
+exclaim; and you stand here, and there, and yonder, upon historic
+ground, and continue to exclaim; and you are permeated with your first
+crude conceptions of Art, and are proud and happy. Ah, yes, proud and
+happy--that expresses it. Yes-yes, enjoy it--it is right--it is an
+innocent revel.
+
+H. And you? Don't you do these things now?
+
+G.S. I! Oh, that is VERY good! My dear sir, when you are as old a
+traveler as I am, you will not ask such a question as that. _I_ visit
+the regulation gallery, moon around the regulation cathedral, do the
+worn round of the regulation sights, YET?--Excuse me!
+
+H. Well, what DO you do, then?
+
+G.S. Do? I flit--and flit--for I am ever on the wing--but I avoid the
+herd. Today I am in Paris, tomorrow in Berlin, anon in Rome; but you
+would look for me in vain in the galleries of the Louvre or the common
+resorts of the gazers in those other capitals. If you would find me, you
+must look in the unvisited nooks and corners where others never think
+of going. One day you will find me making myself at home in some obscure
+peasant's cabin, another day you will find me in some forgotten castle
+worshiping some little gem or art which the careless eye has overlooked
+and which the unexperienced would despise; again you will find me as
+guest in the inner sanctuaries of palaces while the herd is content to
+get a hurried glimpse of the unused chambers by feeing a servant.
+
+H. You are a GUEST in such places?
+
+G.S. And a welcoming one.
+
+H. It is surprising. How does it come?
+
+G.S. My grandfather's name is a passport to all the courts in Europe. I
+have only to utter that name and every door is open to me. I flit from
+court to court at my own free will and pleasure, and am always welcome.
+I am as much at home in the palaces of Europe as you are among your
+relatives. I know every titled person in Europe, I think. I have my
+pockets full of invitations all the time. I am under promise to go to
+Italy, where I am to be the guest of a succession of the noblest houses
+in the land. In Berlin my life is a continued round of gaiety in the
+imperial palace. It is the same, wherever I go.
+
+H. It must be very pleasant. But it must make Boston seem a little slow
+when you are at home.
+
+G.S. Yes, of course it does. But I don't go home much. There's no life
+there--little to feed a man's higher nature. Boston's very narrow, you
+know. She doesn't know it, and you couldn't convince her of it--so I say
+nothing when I'm there: where's the use? Yes, Boston is very narrow, but
+she has such a good opinion of herself that she can't see it. A man who
+has traveled as much as I have, and seen as much of the world, sees it
+plain enough, but he can't cure it, you know, so the best is to leave it
+and seek a sphere which is more in harmony with his tastes and culture.
+I run across there, once a year, perhaps, when I have nothing important
+on hand, but I'm very soon back again. I spend my time in Europe.
+
+H. I see. You map out your plans and ...
+
+G.S. No, excuse me. I don't map out any plans. I simply follow the
+inclination of the day. I am limited by no ties, no requirements, I
+am not bound in any way. I am too old a traveler to hamper myself with
+deliberate purposes. I am simply a traveler--an inveterate traveler--a
+man of the world, in a word--I can call myself by no other name. I do
+not say, "I am going here, or I am going there"--I say nothing at all, I
+only act. For instance, next week you may find me the guest of a grandee
+of Spain, or you may find me off for Venice, or flitting toward Dresden.
+I shall probably go to Egypt presently; friends will say to friends,
+"He is at the Nile cataracts"--and at that very moment they will be
+surprised to learn that I'm away off yonder in India somewhere. I am
+a constant surprise to people. They are always saying, "Yes, he was
+in Jerusalem when we heard of him last, but goodness knows where he is
+now."
+
+Presently the Grandson rose to leave--discovered he had an appointment
+with some Emperor, perhaps. He did his graces over again: gripped me
+with one talon, at arm's-length, pressed his hat against his stomach
+with the other, bent his body in the middle three times, murmuring:
+
+"Pleasure, 'm sure; great pleasure, 'm sure. Wish you much success."
+
+Then he removed his gracious presence. It is a great and solemn thing to
+have a grandfather.
+
+I have not purposed to misrepresent this boy in any way, for what little
+indignation he excited in me soon passed and left nothing behind it but
+compassion. One cannot keep up a grudge against a vacuum. I have tried
+to repeat this lad's very words; if I have failed anywhere I have at
+least not failed to reproduce the marrow and meaning of what he said.
+He and the innocent chatterbox whom I met on the Swiss lake are the most
+unique and interesting specimens of Young America I came across
+during my foreign tramping. I have made honest portraits of them, not
+caricatures.
+
+
+
+The Grandson of twenty-three referred to himself five or six times as
+an "old traveler," and as many as three times (with a serene complacency
+which was maddening) as a "man of the world." There was something very
+delicious about his leaving Boston to her "narrowness," unreproved and
+uninstructed.
+
+I formed the caravan in marching order, presently, and after riding down
+the line to see that it was properly roped together, gave the command to
+proceed. In a little while the road carried us to open, grassy land. We
+were above the troublesome forest, now, and had an uninterrupted view,
+straight before us, of our summit--the summit of the Riffelberg.
+
+We followed the mule-road, a zigzag course, now to the right, now to
+the left, but always up, and always crowded and incommoded by going and
+coming files of reckless tourists who were never, in a single instance,
+tied together. I was obliged to exert the utmost care and caution, for
+in many places the road was not two yards wide, and often the lower side
+of it sloped away in slanting precipices eight and even nine feet deep.
+I had to encourage the men constantly, to keep them from giving way to
+their unmanly fears.
+
+We might have made the summit before night, but for a delay caused by
+the loss of an umbrella. I was allowing the umbrella to remain lost, but
+the men murmured, and with reason, for in this exposed region we stood
+in peculiar need of protection against avalanches; so I went into camp
+and detached a strong party to go after the missing article.
+
+The difficulties of the next morning were severe, but our courage
+was high, for our goal was near. At noon we conquered the last
+impediment--we stood at last upon the summit, and without the loss of a
+single man except the mule that ate the glycerin. Our great achievement
+was achieved--the possibility of the impossible was demonstrated, and
+Harris and I walked proudly into the great dining-room of the Riffelberg
+Hotel and stood our alpenstocks up in the corner.
+
+Yes, I had made the grand ascent; but it was a mistake to do it in
+evening dress. The plug hats were battered, the swallow-tails were
+fluttering rags, mud added no grace, the general effect was unpleasant
+and even disreputable.
+
+
+
+There were about seventy-five tourists at the hotel--mainly ladies and
+little children--and they gave us an admiring welcome which paid us for
+all our privations and sufferings. The ascent had been made, and the
+names and dates now stand recorded on a stone monument there to prove it
+to all future tourists.
+
+I boiled a thermometer and took an altitude, with a most curious result:
+THE SUMMIT WAS NOT AS HIGH AS THE POINT ON THE MOUNTAINSIDE WHERE I
+HAD TAKEN THE FIRST ALTITUDE. Suspecting that I had made an important
+discovery, I prepared to verify it. There happened to be a still higher
+summit (called the Gorner Grat), above the hotel, and notwithstanding
+the fact that it overlooks a glacier from a dizzy height, and that the
+ascent is difficult and dangerous, I resolved to venture up there and
+boil a thermometer. So I sent a strong party, with some borrowed hoes,
+in charge of two chiefs of service, to dig a stairway in the soil all
+the way up, and this I ascended, roped to the guides. This breezy height
+was the summit proper--so I accomplished even more than I had originally
+purposed to do. This foolhardy exploit is recorded on another stone
+monument.
+
+
+
+I boiled my thermometer, and sure enough, this spot, which purported to
+be two thousand feet higher than the locality of the hotel, turned out
+to be nine thousand feet LOWER. Thus the fact was clearly demonstrated
+that, ABOVE A CERTAIN POINT, THE HIGHER A POINT SEEMS TO BE, THE LOWER
+IT ACTUALLY IS. Our ascent itself was a great achievement, but this
+contribution to science was an inconceivably greater matter.
+
+Cavilers object that water boils at a lower and lower temperature the
+higher and higher you go, and hence the apparent anomaly. I answer that
+I do not base my theory upon what the boiling water does, but upon what
+a boiled thermometer says. You can't go behind the thermometer.
+
+I had a magnificent view of Monte Rosa, and apparently all the rest of
+the Alpine world, from that high place. All the circling horizon was
+piled high with a mighty tumult of snowy crests. One might have
+imagined he saw before him the tented camps of a beleaguering host of
+Brobdingnagians.
+
+
+
+NOTE.--I had the very unusual luck to catch one little momentary glimpse
+of the Matterhorn wholly unencumbered by clouds. I leveled my
+photographic apparatus at it without the loss of an instant, and should
+have got an elegant picture if my donkey had not interfered. It was my
+purpose to draw this photograph all by myself for my book, but was
+obliged to put the mountain part of it into the hands of the
+professional artist because I found I could not do landscape well.
+
+But lonely, conspicuous, and superb, rose that wonderful upright wedge,
+the Matterhorn. Its precipitous sides were powdered over with snow, and
+the upper half hidden in thick clouds which now and then dissolved to
+cobweb films and gave brief glimpses of the imposing tower as through a
+veil. A little later the Matterhorn took to himself the semblance of
+a volcano; he was stripped naked to his apex--around this circled
+vast wreaths of white cloud which strung slowly out and streamed away
+slantwise toward the sun, a twenty-mile stretch of rolling and tumbling
+vapor, and looking just as if it were pouring out of a crater. Later
+again, one of the mountain's sides was clean and clear, and another
+side densely clothed from base to summit in thick smokelike cloud which
+feathered off and flew around the shaft's sharp edge like the smoke
+around the corners of a burning building. The Matterhorn is always
+experimenting, and always gets up fine effects, too. In the sunset, when
+all the lower world is palled in gloom, it points toward heaven out of
+the pervading blackness like a finger of fire. In the sunrise--well,
+they say it is very fine in the sunrise.
+
+Authorities agree that there is no such tremendous "layout" of snowy
+Alpine magnitude, grandeur, and sublimity to be seen from any other
+accessible point as the tourist may see from the summit of the
+Riffelberg. Therefore, let the tourist rope himself up and go there; for
+I have shown that with nerve, caution, and judgment, the thing can be
+done.
+
+I wish to add one remark, here--in parentheses, so to speak--suggested
+by the word "snowy," which I have just used. We have all seen hills and
+mountains and levels with snow on them, and so we think we know all the
+aspects and effects produced by snow. But indeed we do not until we have
+seen the Alps. Possibly mass and distance add something--at any rate,
+something IS added. Among other noticeable things, there is a dazzling,
+intense whiteness about the distant Alpine snow, when the sun is on it,
+which one recognizes as peculiar, and not familiar to the eye. The snow
+which one is accustomed to has a tint to it--painters usually give it a
+bluish cast--but there is no perceptible tint to the distant Alpine snow
+when it is trying to look its whitest. As to the unimaginable
+splendor of it when the sun is blazing down on it--well, it simply IS
+unimaginable.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XXXIX
+
+[We Travel by Glacier]
+
+
+A guide-book is a queer thing. The reader has just seen what a man who
+undertakes the great ascent from Zermatt to the Riffelberg Hotel must
+experience. Yet Baedeker makes these strange statements concerning this
+matter:
+
+   1. Distance--3 hours.
+   2. The road cannot be mistaken.
+   3. Guide unnecessary.
+   4. Distance from Riffelberg Hotel to the Gorner Grat, one hour and a half.
+   5. Ascent simple and easy. Guide unnecessary.
+   6. Elevation of Zermatt above sea-level, 5,315 feet.
+   7. Elevation of Riffelberg Hotel above sea-level, 8,429 feet.
+   8. Elevation of the Gorner Grat above sea-level, 10,289 feet.
+
+I have pretty effectually throttled these errors by sending him the
+following demonstrated facts:
+
+   1. Distance from Zermatt to Riffelberg Hotel, 7 days.
+   2. The road CAN be mistaken. If I am the first that did it, I want the credit
+      of it, too.
+   3. Guides ARE necessary, for none but a native can read those finger-boards.
+   4. The estimate of the elevation of the several localities above sea-level
+      is pretty correct--for Baedeker. He only misses it about a hundred and
+      eighty or ninety thousand feet.
+
+I found my arnica invaluable. My men were suffering excruciatingly, from
+the friction of sitting down so much. During two or three days, not
+one of them was able to do more than lie down or walk about; yet so
+effective was the arnica, that on the fourth all were able to sit up.
+I consider that, more than to anything else, I owe the success of our
+great undertaking to arnica and paregoric.
+
+My men are being restored to health and strength, my main perplexity,
+now, was how to get them down the mountain again. I was not willing to
+expose the brave fellows to the perils, fatigues, and hardships of that
+fearful route again if it could be helped. First I thought of balloons;
+but, of course, I had to give that idea up, for balloons were
+not procurable. I thought of several other expedients, but upon
+consideration discarded them, for cause. But at last I hit it. I was
+aware that the movement of glaciers is an established fact, for I had
+read it in Baedeker; so I resolved to take passage for Zermatt on the
+great Gorner Glacier.
+
+Very good. The next thing was, how to get down the glacier
+comfortably--for the mule-road to it was long, and winding, and
+wearisome. I set my mind at work, and soon thought out a plan. One looks
+straight down upon the vast frozen river called the Gorner Glacier, from
+the Gorner Grat, a sheer precipice twelve hundred feet high. We had
+one hundred and fifty-four umbrellas--and what is an umbrella but a
+parachute?
+
+I mentioned this noble idea to Harris, with enthusiasm, and was about to
+order the Expedition to form on the Gorner Grat, with their umbrellas,
+and prepare for flight by platoons, each platoon in command of a guide,
+when Harris stopped me and urged me not to be too hasty. He asked me if
+this method of descending the Alps had ever been tried before. I said
+no, I had not heard of an instance. Then, in his opinion, it was a
+matter of considerable gravity; in his opinion it would not be well to
+send the whole command over the cliff at once; a better way would be to
+send down a single individual, first, and see how he fared.
+
+I saw the wisdom in this idea instantly. I said as much, and thanked
+my agent cordially, and told him to take his umbrella and try the thing
+right away, and wave his hat when he got down, if he struck in a soft
+place, and then I would ship the rest right along.
+
+Harris was greatly touched with this mark of confidence, and said so,
+in a voice that had a perceptible tremble in it; but at the same time he
+said he did not feel himself worthy of so conspicuous a favor; that it
+might cause jealousy in the command, for there were plenty who would not
+hesitate to say he had used underhanded means to get the appointment,
+whereas his conscience would bear him witness that he had not sought it
+at all, nor even, in his secret heart, desired it.
+
+I said these words did him extreme credit, but that he must not throw
+away the imperishable distinction of being the first man to descend
+an Alp per parachute, simply to save the feelings of some envious
+underlings. No, I said, he MUST accept the appointment--it was no longer
+an invitation, it was a command.
+
+He thanked me with effusion, and said that putting the thing in this
+form removed every objection. He retired, and soon returned with his
+umbrella, his eye flaming with gratitude and his cheeks pallid with joy.
+Just then the head guide passed along. Harris's expression changed to
+one of infinite tenderness, and he said:
+
+"That man did me a cruel injury four days ago, and I said in my heart
+he should live to perceive and confess that the only noble revenge a
+man can take upon his enemy is to return good for evil. I resign in his
+favor. Appoint him."
+
+I threw my arms around the generous fellow and said:
+
+"Harris, you are the noblest soul that lives. You shall not regret this
+sublime act, neither shall the world fail to know of it. You shall have
+opportunity far transcending this one, too, if I live--remember that."
+
+I called the head guide to me and appointed him on the spot. But the
+thing aroused no enthusiasm in him. He did not take to the idea at all.
+
+He said:
+
+"Tie myself to an umbrella and jump over the Gorner Grat! Excuse me,
+there are a great many pleasanter roads to the devil than that."
+
+
+
+Upon a discussion of the subject with him, it appeared that he
+considered the project distinctly and decidedly dangerous. I was not
+convinced, yet I was not willing to try the experiment in any risky
+way--that is, in a way that might cripple the strength and efficiency
+of the Expedition. I was about at my wits' end when it occurred to me to
+try it on the Latinist.
+
+He was called in. But he declined, on the plea of inexperience,
+diffidence in public, lack of curiosity, and I didn't know what all.
+Another man declined on account of a cold in the head; thought he
+ought to avoid exposure. Another could not jump well--never COULD jump
+well--did not believe he could jump so far without long and patient
+practice. Another was afraid it was going to rain, and his umbrella had
+a hole in it. Everybody had an excuse. The result was what the reader
+has by this time guessed: the most magnificent idea that was ever
+conceived had to be abandoned, from sheer lack of a person with
+enterprise enough to carry it out. Yes, I actually had to give that
+thing up--while doubtless I should live to see somebody use it and take
+all the credit from me.
+
+Well, I had to go overland--there was no other way. I marched the
+Expedition down the steep and tedious mule-path and took up as good a
+position as I could upon the middle of the glacier--because Baedeker
+said the middle part travels the fastest. As a measure of economy,
+however, I put some of the heavier baggage on the shoreward parts, to go
+as slow freight.
+
+I waited and waited, but the glacier did not move. Night was coming on,
+the darkness began to gather--still we did not budge. It occurred to me
+then, that there might be a time-table in Baedeker; it would be well to
+find out the hours of starting. I called for the book--it could not be
+found. Bradshaw would certainly contain a time-table; but no Bradshaw
+could be found.
+
+Very well, I must make the best of the situation. So I pitched the
+tents, picketed the animals, milked the cows, had supper, paregoricked
+the men, established the watch, and went to bed--with orders to call me
+as soon as we came in sight of Zermatt.
+
+I awoke about half past ten next morning, and looked around. We hadn't
+budged a peg! At first I could not understand it; then it occurred to me
+that the old thing must be aground. So I cut down some trees and rigged
+a spar on the starboard and another on the port side, and fooled away
+upward of three hours trying to spar her off. But it was no use. She
+was half a mile wide and fifteen or twenty miles long, and there was
+no telling just whereabouts she WAS aground. The men began to show
+uneasiness, too, and presently they came flying to me with ashy faces,
+saying she had sprung a leak.
+
+
+
+Nothing but my cool behavior at this critical time saved us from another
+panic. I ordered them to show me the place. They led me to a spot where
+a huge boulder lay in a deep pool of clear and brilliant water. It did
+look like a pretty bad leak, but I kept that to myself. I made a pump
+and set the men to work to pump out the glacier. We made a success of
+it. I perceived, then, that it was not a leak at all. This boulder had
+descended from a precipice and stopped on the ice in the middle of the
+glacier, and the sun had warmed it up, every day, and consequently it
+had melted its way deeper and deeper into the ice, until at last it
+reposed, as we had found it, in a deep pool of the clearest and coldest
+water.
+
+Presently Baedeker was found again, and I hunted eagerly for the
+time-table. There was none. The book simply said the glacier was moving
+all the time. This was satisfactory, so I shut up the book and chose a
+good position to view the scenery as we passed along. I stood there some
+time enjoying the trip, but at last it occurred to me that we did
+not seem to be gaining any on the scenery. I said to myself, "This
+confounded old thing's aground again, sure,"--and opened Baedeker to
+see if I could run across any remedy for these annoying interruptions.
+I soon found a sentence which threw a dazzling light upon the matter.
+It said, "The Gorner Glacier travels at an average rate of a little less
+than an inch a day." I have seldom felt so outraged. I have seldom had
+my confidence so wantonly betrayed. I made a small calculation: One inch
+a day, say thirty feet a year; estimated distance to Zermatt, three and
+one-eighteenth miles. Time required to go by glacier, A LITTLE OVER FIVE
+HUNDRED YEARS! I said to myself, "I can WALK it quicker--and before I
+will patronize such a fraud as this, I will do it."
+
+When I revealed to Harris the fact that the passenger part of this
+glacier--the central part--the lightning-express part, so to speak--was
+not due in Zermatt till the summer of 2378, and that the baggage, coming
+along the slow edge, would not arrive until some generations later, he
+burst out with:
+
+"That is European management, all over! An inch a day--think of that!
+Five hundred years to go a trifle over three miles! But I am not a bit
+surprised. It's a Catholic glacier. You can tell by the look of it. And
+the management."
+
+I said, no, I believed nothing but the extreme end of it was in a
+Catholic canton.
+
+"Well, then, it's a government glacier," said Harris. "It's all the
+same. Over here the government runs everything--so everything's slow;
+slow, and ill-managed. But with us, everything's done by private
+enterprise--and then there ain't much lolling around, you can depend
+on it. I wish Tom Scott could get his hands on this torpid old slab
+once--you'd see it take a different gait from this."
+
+I said I was sure he would increase the speed, if there was trade enough
+to justify it.
+
+"He'd MAKE trade," said Harris. "That's the difference between
+governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do. Tom
+Scott would take all the trade; in two years Gorner stock would go to
+two hundred, and inside of two more you would see all the other glaciers
+under the hammer for taxes." After a reflective pause, Harris added, "A
+little less than an inch a day; a little less than an INCH, mind you.
+Well, I'm losing my reverence for glaciers."
+
+I was feeling much the same way myself. I have traveled by canal-boat,
+ox-wagon, raft, and by the Ephesus and Smyrna railway; but when it comes
+down to good solid honest slow motion, I bet my money on the glacier. As
+a means of passenger transportation, I consider the glacier a failure;
+but as a vehicle of slow freight, I think she fills the bill. In the
+matter of putting the fine shades on that line of business, I judge she
+could teach the Germans something.
+
+I ordered the men to break camp and prepare for the land journey to
+Zermatt. At this moment a most interesting find was made; a dark object,
+bedded in the glacial ice, was cut out with the ice-axes, and it proved
+to be a piece of the undressed skin of some animal--a hair trunk,
+perhaps; but a close inspection disabled the hair-trunk theory, and
+further discussion and examination exploded it entirely--that is, in the
+opinion of all the scientists except the one who had advanced it. This
+one clung to his theory with affectionate fidelity characteristic of
+originators of scientific theories, and afterward won many of the first
+scientists of the age to his view, by a very able pamphlet which he
+wrote, entitled, "Evidences going to show that the hair trunk, in a wild
+state, belonged to the early glacial period, and roamed the wastes of
+chaos in the company with the cave-bear, primeval man, and the other
+Ooelitics of the Old Silurian family."
+
+
+
+Each of our scientists had a theory of his own, and put forward
+an animal of his own as a candidate for the skin. I sided with the
+geologist of the Expedition in the belief that this patch of skin had
+once helped to cover a Siberian elephant, in some old forgotten age--but
+we divided there, the geologist believing that this discovery proved
+that Siberia had formerly been located where Switzerland is now, whereas
+I held the opinion that it merely proved that the primeval Swiss was not
+the dull savage he is represented to have been, but was a being of high
+intellectual development, who liked to go to the menagerie.
+
+We arrived that evening, after many hardships and adventures, in some
+fields close to the great ice-arch where the mad Visp boils and surges
+out from under the foot of the great Gorner Glacier, and here we camped,
+our perils over and our magnificent undertaking successfully completed.
+We marched into Zermatt the next day, and were received with the
+most lavish honors and applause. A document, signed and sealed by the
+authorities, was given to me which established and endorsed the fact
+that I had made the ascent of the Riffelberg. This I wear around my
+neck, and it will be buried with me when I am no more.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XL
+
+[Piteous Relics at Chamonix]
+
+
+I am not so ignorant about glacial movement, now, as I was when I took
+passage on the Gorner Glacier. I have "read up" since. I am aware that
+these vast bodies of ice do not travel at the same rate of speed; while
+the Gorner Glacier makes less than an inch a day, the Unter-Aar Glacier
+makes as much as eight; and still other glaciers are said to go twelve,
+sixteen, and even twenty inches a day. One writer says that the slowest
+glacier travels twenty-five feet a year, and the fastest four hundred.
+
+What is a glacier? It is easy to say it looks like a frozen river which
+occupies the bed of a winding gorge or gully between mountains. But that
+gives no notion of its vastness. For it is sometimes six hundred feet
+thick, and we are not accustomed to rivers six hundred feet deep; no,
+our rivers are six feet, twenty feet, and sometimes fifty feet deep; we
+are not quite able to grasp so large a fact as an ice-river six hundred
+feet deep.
+
+The glacier's surface is not smooth and level, but has deep swales and
+swelling elevations, and sometimes has the look of a tossing sea whose
+turbulent billows were frozen hard in the instant of their most violent
+motion; the glacier's surface is not a flawless mass, but is a river
+with cracks or crevices, some narrow, some gaping wide. Many a man, the
+victim of a slip or a misstep, has plunged down one of these and met his
+death. Men have been fished out of them alive; but it was when they
+did not go to a great depth; the cold of the great depths would quickly
+stupefy a man, whether he was hurt or unhurt. These cracks do not go
+straight down; one can seldom see more than twenty to forty feet down
+them; consequently men who have disappeared in them have been sought
+for, in the hope that they had stopped within helping distance, whereas
+their case, in most instances, had really been hopeless from the
+beginning.
+
+In 1864 a party of tourists was descending Mont Blanc, and while picking
+their way over one of the mighty glaciers of that lofty region, roped
+together, as was proper, a young porter disengaged himself from the line
+and started across an ice-bridge which spanned a crevice. It broke under
+him with a crash, and he disappeared. The others could not see how deep
+he had gone, so it might be worthwhile to try and rescue him. A brave
+young guide named Michel Payot volunteered.
+
+Two ropes were made fast to his leather belt and he bore the end of a
+third one in his hand to tie to the victim in case he found him. He was
+lowered into the crevice, he descended deeper and deeper between the
+clear blue walls of solid ice, he approached a bend in the crack and
+disappeared under it. Down, and still down, he went, into this profound
+grave; when he had reached a depth of eighty feet he passed under
+another bend in the crack, and thence descended eighty feet lower, as
+between perpendicular precipices. Arrived at this stage of one hundred
+and sixty feet below the surface of the glacier, he peered through the
+twilight dimness and perceived that the chasm took another turn and
+stretched away at a steep slant to unknown deeps, for its course was
+lost in darkness. What a place that was to be in--especially if that
+leather belt should break! The compression of the belt threatened to
+suffocate the intrepid fellow; he called to his friends to draw him up,
+but could not make them hear. They still lowered him, deeper and deeper.
+Then he jerked his third cord as vigorously as he could; his friends
+understood, and dragged him out of those icy jaws of death.
+
+Then they attached a bottle to a cord and sent it down two hundred feet,
+but it found no bottom. It came up covered with congelations--evidence
+enough that even if the poor porter reached the bottom with unbroken
+bones, a swift death from cold was sure, anyway.
+
+A glacier is a stupendous, ever-progressing, resistless plow. It pushes
+ahead of it masses of boulders which are packed together, and they
+stretch across the gorge, right in front of it, like a long grave or a
+long, sharp roof. This is called a moraine. It also shoves out a moraine
+along each side of its course.
+
+
+
+Imposing as the modern glaciers are, they are not so huge as were some
+that once existed. For instance, Mr. Whymper says:
+
+"At some very remote period the Valley of Aosta was occupied by a vast
+glacier, which flowed down its entire length from Mont Blanc to the
+plain of Piedmont, remained stationary, or nearly so, at its mouth
+for many centuries, and deposited there enormous masses of debris. The
+length of this glacier exceeded EIGHTY MILES, and it drained a basin
+twenty-five to thirty-five miles across, bounded by the highest
+mountains in the Alps.
+
+
+
+"The great peaks rose several thousand feet above the glaciers, and
+then, as now, shattered by sun and frost, poured down their showers of
+rocks and stones, in witness of which there are the immense piles of
+angular fragments that constitute the moraines of Ivrea.
+
+"The moraines around Ivrea are of extraordinary dimensions. That which
+was on the left bank of the glacier is about THIRTEEN MILES long, and
+in some places rises to a height of TWO THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY
+FEET above the floor of the valley! The terminal moraines (those which
+are pushed in front of the glaciers) cover something like twenty square
+miles of country. At the mouth of the Valley of Aosta, the thickness of
+the glacier must have been at least TWO THOUSAND feet, and its width, at
+that part, FIVE MILES AND A QUARTER."
+
+
+
+It is not easy to get at a comprehension of a mass of ice like that. If
+one could cleave off the butt end of such a glacier--an oblong block
+two or three miles wide by five and a quarter long and two thousand
+feet thick--he could completely hide the city of New York under it,
+and Trinity steeple would only stick up into it relatively as far as a
+shingle-nail would stick up into the bottom of a Saratoga trunk.
+
+"The boulders from Mont Blanc, upon the plain below Ivrea, assure us
+that the glacier which transported them existed for a prodigious length
+of time. Their present distance from the cliffs from which they were
+derived is about 420,000 feet, and if we assume that they traveled at
+the rate of 400 feet per annum, their journey must have occupied them no
+less than 1,055 years! In all probability they did not travel so fast."
+
+
+
+Glaciers are sometimes hurried out of their characteristic snail-pace.
+A marvelous spectacle is presented then. Mr. Whymper refers to a case
+which occurred in Iceland in 1721:
+
+"It seems that in the neighborhood of the mountain Kotlugja, large
+bodies of water formed underneath, or within the glaciers (either on
+account of the interior heat of the earth, or from other causes), and at
+length acquired irresistible power, tore the glaciers from their mooring
+on the land, and swept them over every obstacle into the sea. Prodigious
+masses of ice were thus borne for a distance of about ten miles over
+land in the space of a few hours; and their bulk was so enormous that
+they covered the sea for seven miles from the shore, and remained
+aground in six hundred feet of water! The denudation of the land was
+upon a grand scale. All superficial accumulations were swept away, and
+the bedrock was exposed. It was described, in graphic language, how all
+irregularities and depressions were obliterated, and a smooth surface of
+several miles' area laid bare, and that this area had the appearance of
+having been PLANED BY A PLANE."
+
+The account translated from the Icelandic says that the mountainlike
+ruins of this majestic glacier so covered the sea that as far as the eye
+could reach no open water was discoverable, even from the highest peaks.
+A monster wall or barrier of ice was built across a considerable stretch
+of land, too, by this strange irruption:
+
+"One can form some idea of the altitude of this barrier of ice when it
+is mentioned that from Hofdabrekka farm, which lies high up on a fjeld,
+one could not see Hjorleifshofdi opposite, which is a fell six hundred
+and forty feet in height; but in order to do so had to clamber up a
+mountain slope east of Hofdabrekka twelve hundred feet high."
+
+These things will help the reader to understand why it is that a man who
+keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by
+and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of
+conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will
+only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough
+to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
+
+The Alpine glaciers move--that is granted, now, by everybody. But there
+was a time when people scoffed at the idea; they said you might as well
+expect leagues of solid rock to crawl along the ground as expect leagues
+of ice to do it. But proof after proof was furnished, and the finally
+the world had to believe.
+
+The wise men not only said the glacier moved, but they timed its
+movement. They ciphered out a glacier's gait, and then said confidently
+that it would travel just so far in so many years. There is record of
+a striking and curious example of the accuracy which may be attained in
+these reckonings.
+
+In 1820 the ascent of Mont Blanc was attempted by a Russian and two
+Englishmen, with seven guides. They had reached a prodigious altitude,
+and were approaching the summit, when an avalanche swept several of the
+party down a sharp slope of two hundred feet and hurled five of them
+(all guides) into one of the crevices of a glacier. The life of one
+of the five was saved by a long barometer which was strapped to his
+back--it bridged the crevice and suspended him until help came. The
+alpenstock or baton of another saved its owner in a similar way. Three
+men were lost--Pierre Balmat, Pierre Carrier, and Auguste Tairraz. They
+had been hurled down into the fathomless great deeps of the crevice.
+
+Dr. Forbes, the English geologist, had made frequent visits to the Mont
+Blanc region, and had given much attention to the disputed question of
+the movement of glaciers. During one of these visits he completed his
+estimates of the rate of movement of the glacier which had swallowed
+up the three guides, and uttered the prediction that the glacier would
+deliver up its dead at the foot of the mountain thirty-five years from
+the time of the accident, or possibly forty.
+
+A dull, slow journey--a movement imperceptible to any eye--but it was
+proceeding, nevertheless, and without cessation. It was a journey
+which a rolling stone would make in a few seconds--the lofty point of
+departure was visible from the village below in the valley.
+
+The prediction cut curiously close to the truth; forty-one years after
+the catastrophe, the remains were cast forth at the foot of the glacier.
+
+I find an interesting account of the matter in the HISTOIRE DU MONT
+BLANC, by Stephen d'Arve. I will condense this account, as follows:
+
+On the 12th of August, 1861, at the hour of the close of mass, a guide
+arrived out of breath at the mairie of Chamonix, and bearing on his
+shoulders a very lugubrious burden. It was a sack filled with human
+remains which he had gathered from the orifice of a crevice in the
+Glacier des Bossons. He conjectured that these were remains of the
+victims of the catastrophe of 1820, and a minute inquest, immediately
+instituted by the local authorities, soon demonstrated the correctness
+of his supposition. The contents of the sack were spread upon a long
+table, and officially inventoried, as follows:
+
+Portions of three human skulls. Several tufts of black and blonde hair.
+A human jaw, furnished with fine white teeth. A forearm and hand, all
+the fingers of the latter intact. The flesh was white and fresh,
+and both the arm and hand preserved a degree of flexibility in the
+articulations.
+
+The ring-finger had suffered a slight abrasion, and the stain of the
+blood was still visible and unchanged after forty-one years. A left
+foot, the flesh white and fresh.
+
+Along with these fragments were portions of waistcoats, hats, hobnailed
+shoes, and other clothing; a wing of a pigeon, with black feathers; a
+fragment of an alpenstock; a tin lantern; and lastly, a boiled leg of
+mutton, the only flesh among all the remains that exhaled an unpleasant
+odor. The guide said that the mutton had no odor when he took it from
+the glacier; an hour's exposure to the sun had already begun the work of
+decomposition upon it.
+
+Persons were called for, to identify these poor pathetic relics, and a
+touching scene ensued. Two men were still living who had witnessed the
+grim catastrophe of nearly half a century before--Marie Couttet (saved
+by his baton) and Julien Davouassoux (saved by the barometer). These
+aged men entered and approached the table. Davouassoux, more than eighty
+years old, contemplated the mournful remains mutely and with a vacant
+eye, for his intelligence and his memory were torpid with age; but
+Couttet's faculties were still perfect at seventy-two, and he exhibited
+strong emotion. He said:
+
+"Pierre Balmat was fair; he wore a straw hat. This bit of skull, with
+the tuft of blond hair, was his; this is his hat. Pierre Carrier was
+very dark; this skull was his, and this felt hat. This is Balmat's
+hand, I remember it so well!" and the old man bent down and kissed it
+reverently, then closed his fingers upon it in an affectionate grasp,
+crying out, "I could never have dared to believe that before quitting
+this world it would be granted me to press once more the hand of one of
+those brave comrades, the hand of my good friend Balmat."
+
+
+
+There is something weirdly pathetic about the picture of that
+white-haired veteran greeting with his loving handshake this friend
+who had been dead forty years. When these hands had met last, they were
+alike in the softness and freshness of youth; now, one was brown and
+wrinkled and horny with age, while the other was still as young and fair
+and blemishless as if those forty years had come and gone in a single
+moment, leaving no mark of their passage. Time had gone on, in the one
+case; it had stood still in the other. A man who has not seen a friend
+for a generation, keeps him in mind always as he saw him last, and is
+somehow surprised, and is also shocked, to see the aging change the
+years have wrought when he sees him again. Marie Couttet's experience,
+in finding his friend's hand unaltered from the image of it which he
+had carried in his memory for forty years, is an experience which stands
+alone in the history of man, perhaps.
+
+Couttet identified other relics:
+
+"This hat belonged to Auguste Tairraz. He carried the cage of pigeons
+which we proposed to set free upon the summit. Here is the wing of one
+of those pigeons. And here is the fragment of my broken baton; it was by
+grace of that baton that my life was saved. Who could have told me that
+I should one day have the satisfaction to look again upon this bit of
+wood that supported me above the grave that swallowed up my unfortunate
+companions!"
+
+No portions of the body of Tairraz, other than a piece of the skull,
+had been found. A diligent search was made, but without result. However,
+another search was instituted a year later, and this had better success.
+Many fragments of clothing which had belonged to the lost guides were
+discovered; also, part of a lantern, and a green veil with blood-stains
+on it. But the interesting feature was this:
+
+One of the searchers came suddenly upon a sleeved arm projecting from
+a crevice in the ice-wall, with the hand outstretched as if offering
+greeting! "The nails of this white hand were still rosy, and the pose
+of the extended fingers seemed to express an eloquent welcome to the
+long-lost light of day."
+
+The hand and arm were alone; there was no trunk. After being removed
+from the ice the flesh-tints quickly faded out and the rosy nails took
+on the alabaster hue of death. This was the third RIGHT hand found;
+therefore, all three of the lost men were accounted for, beyond cavil or
+question.
+
+Dr. Hamel was the Russian gentleman of the party which made the ascent
+at the time of the famous disaster. He left Chamonix as soon as he
+conveniently could after the descent; and as he had shown a chilly
+indifference about the calamity, and offered neither sympathy nor
+assistance to the widows and orphans, he carried with him the cordial
+execrations of the whole community. Four months before the first remains
+were found, a Chamonix guide named Balmat--a relative of one of the lost
+men--was in London, and one day encountered a hale old gentleman in the
+British Museum, who said:
+
+"I overheard your name. Are you from Chamonix, Monsieur Balmat?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"Haven't they found the bodies of my three guides, yet? I am Dr. Hamel."
+
+"Alas, no, monsieur."
+
+"Well, you'll find them, sooner or later."
+
+"Yes, it is the opinion of Dr. Forbes and Mr. Tyndall, that the glacier
+will sooner or later restore to us the remains of the unfortunate
+victims."
+
+"Without a doubt, without a doubt. And it will be a great thing for
+Chamonix, in the matter of attracting tourists. You can get up a museum
+with those remains that will draw!"
+
+This savage idea has not improved the odor of Dr. Hamel's name in
+Chamonix by any means. But after all, the man was sound on human nature.
+His idea was conveyed to the public officials of Chamonix, and they
+gravely discussed it around the official council-table. They were only
+prevented from carrying it into execution by the determined opposition
+of the friends and descendants of the lost guides, who insisted on
+giving the remains Christian burial, and succeeded in their purpose.
+
+A close watch had to be kept upon all the poor remnants and fragments,
+to prevent embezzlement. A few accessory odds and ends were sold. Rags
+and scraps of the coarse clothing were parted with at the rate equal to
+about twenty dollars a yard; a piece of a lantern and one or two other
+trifles brought nearly their weight in gold; and an Englishman offered a
+pound sterling for a single breeches-button.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLI
+
+[The Fearful Disaster of 1865]
+
+
+One of the most memorable of all the Alpine catastrophes was that of
+July, 1865, on the Matterhorn--already slightly referred to, a few
+pages back. The details of it are scarcely known in America. To the vast
+majority of readers they are not known at all. Mr. Whymper's account is
+the only authentic one. I will import the chief portion of it into this
+book, partly because of its intrinsic interest, and partly because it
+gives such a vivid idea of what the perilous pastime of Alp-climbing
+is. This was Mr. Whymper's NINTH attempt during a series of years, to
+vanquish that steep and stubborn pillar or rock; it succeeded, the other
+eight were failures. No man had ever accomplished the ascent before,
+though the attempts had been numerous.
+
+MR. WHYMPER'S NARRATIVE We started from Zermatt on the 13th of July, at
+half past five, on a brilliant and perfectly cloudless morning. We were
+eight in number--Croz (guide), old Peter Taugwalder (guide) and his
+two sons; Lord F. Douglas, Mr. Hadow, Rev. Mr. Hudson, and I. To insure
+steady motion, one tourist and one native walked together. The youngest
+Taugwalder fell to my share. The wine-bags also fell to my lot to carry,
+and throughout the day, after each drink, I replenished them secretly
+with water, so that at the next halt they were found fuller than before!
+This was considered a good omen, and little short of miraculous.
+
+On the first day we did not intend to ascend to any great height, and we
+mounted, accordingly, very leisurely. Before twelve o'clock we had found
+a good position for the tent, at a height of eleven thousand feet. We
+passed the remaining hours of daylight--some basking in the sunshine,
+some sketching, some collecting; Hudson made tea, I coffee, and at
+length we retired, each one to his blanket bag.
+
+We assembled together before dawn on the 14th and started directly
+it was light enough to move. One of the young Taugwalders returned to
+Zermatt. In a few minutes we turned the rib which had intercepted the
+view of the eastern face from our tent platform. The whole of this
+great slope was now revealed, rising for three thousand feet like a huge
+natural staircase. Some parts were more, and others were less easy, but
+we were not once brought to a halt by any serious impediment, for when
+an obstruction was met in front it could always be turned to the right
+or to the left. For the greater part of the way there was no occasion,
+indeed, for the rope, and sometimes Hudson led, sometimes myself. At
+six-twenty we had attained a height of twelve thousand eight hundred
+feet, and halted for half an hour; we then continued the ascent without
+a break until nine-fifty-five, when we stopped for fifty minutes, at a
+height of fourteen thousand feet.
+
+
+
+We had now arrived at the foot of that part which, seen from the
+Riffelberg, seems perpendicular or overhanging. We could no longer
+continue on the eastern side. For a little distance we ascended by snow
+upon the ARETE--that is, the ridge--then turned over to the right, or
+northern side. The work became difficult, and required caution. In some
+places there was little to hold; the general slope of the mountain was
+LESS than forty degrees, and snow had accumulated in, and had filled
+up, the interstices of the rock-face, leaving only occasional fragments
+projecting here and there. These were at times covered with a thin film
+of ice. It was a place which any fair mountaineer might pass in safety.
+We bore away nearly horizontally for about four hundred feet, then
+ascended directly toward the summit for about sixty feet, then doubled
+back to the ridge which descends toward Zermatt. A long stride round
+a rather awkward corner brought us to snow once more. That last doubt
+vanished! The Matterhorn was ours! Nothing but two hundred feet of easy
+snow remained to be surmounted.
+
+The higher we rose, the more intense became the excitement. The slope
+eased off, at length we could be detached, and Croz and I, dashed away,
+ran a neck-and-neck race, which ended in a dead heat. At 1:40 P.M., the
+world was at our feet, and the Matterhorn was conquered!
+
+
+
+The others arrived. Croz now took the tent-pole, and planted it in the
+highest snow. "Yes," we said, "there is the flag-staff, but where is the
+flag?" "Here it is," he answered, pulling off his blouse and fixing it
+to the stick. It made a poor flag, and there was no wind to float
+it out, yet it was seen all around. They saw it at Zermatt--at the
+Riffel--in the Val Tournanche... .
+
+We remained on the summit for one hour--
+
+One crowded hour of glorious life.
+
+It passed away too quickly, and we began to prepare for the descent.
+
+Hudson and I consulted as to the best and safest arrangement of the
+party. We agreed that it was best for Croz to go first, and Hadow
+second; Hudson, who was almost equal to a guide in sureness of foot,
+wished to be third; Lord Douglas was placed next, and old Peter, the
+strongest of the remainder, after him. I suggested to Hudson that we
+should attach a rope to the rocks on our arrival at the difficult bit,
+and hold it as we descended, as an additional protection. He approved
+the idea, but it was not definitely decided that it should be done. The
+party was being arranged in the above order while I was sketching the
+summit, and they had finished, and were waiting for me to be tied in
+line, when some one remembered that our names had not been left in a
+bottle. They requested me to write them down, and moved off while it was
+being done.
+
+A few minutes afterward I tied myself to young Peter, ran down after the
+others, and caught them just as they were commencing the descent of the
+difficult part. Great care was being taken. Only one man was moving at a
+time; when he was firmly planted the next advanced, and so on. They had
+not, however, attached the additional rope to rocks, and nothing was
+said about it. The suggestion was not made for my own sake, and I am not
+sure that it ever occurred to me again. For some little distance we two
+followed the others, detached from them, and should have continued so
+had not Lord Douglas asked me, about 3 P.M., to tie on to old Peter, as
+he feared, he said, that Taugwalder would not be able to hold his ground
+if a slip occurred.
+
+A few minutes later, a sharp-eyed lad ran into the Monte Rosa Hotel, at
+Zermatt, saying that he had seen an avalanche fall from the summit of
+the Matterhorn onto the Matterhorn glacier. The boy was reproved for
+telling idle stories; he was right, nevertheless, and this was what he
+saw.
+
+Michel Croz had laid aside his ax, and in order to give Mr. Hadow
+greater security, was absolutely taking hold of his legs, and putting
+his feet, one by one, into their proper positions. As far as I know, no
+one was actually descending. I cannot speak with certainty, because the
+two leading men were partially hidden from my sight by an intervening
+mass of rock, but it is my belief, from the movements of their
+shoulders, that Croz, having done as I said, was in the act of turning
+round to go down a step or two himself; at this moment Mr. Hadow
+slipped, fell against him, and knocked him over. I heard one startled
+exclamation from Croz, then saw him and Mr. Hadow flying downward;
+in another moment Hudson was dragged from his steps, and Lord Douglas
+immediately after him. All this was the work of a moment. Immediately we
+heard Croz's exclamation, old Peter and I planted ourselves as firmly as
+the rocks would permit; the rope was taut between us, and the jerk came
+on us both as on one man. We held; but the rope broke midway between
+Taugwalder and Lord Francis Douglas. For a few seconds we saw our
+unfortunate companions sliding downward on their backs, and spreading
+out their hands, endeavoring to save themselves. They passed from our
+sight uninjured, disappeared one by one, and fell from the precipice to
+precipice onto the Matterhorn glacier below, a distance of nearly
+four thousand feet in height. From the moment the rope broke it was
+impossible to help them. So perished our comrades!
+
+
+
+For more than two hours afterward I thought almost every moment that the
+next would be my last; for the Taugwalders, utterly unnerved, were not
+only incapable of giving assistance, but were in such a state that a
+slip might have been expected from them at any moment. After a time we
+were able to do that which should have been done at first, and fixed
+rope to firm rocks, in addition to being tied together. These ropes were
+cut from time to time, and were left behind. Even with their assurance
+the men were afraid to proceed, and several times old Peter turned,
+with ashy face and faltering limbs, and said, with terrible emphasis, "I
+CANNOT!"
+
+About 6 P.M., we arrived at the snow upon the ridge descending toward
+Zermatt, and all peril was over. We frequently looked, but in vain, for
+traces of our unfortunate companions; we bent over the ridge and cried
+to them, but no sound returned. Convinced at last that they were neither
+within sight nor hearing, we ceased from our useless efforts; and, too
+cast down for speech, silently gathered up our things, and the little
+effects of those who were lost, and then completed the descent. Such
+is Mr. Whymper's graphic and thrilling narrative. Zermatt gossip
+darkly hints that the elder Taugwalder cut the rope, when the accident
+occurred, in order to preserve himself from being dragged into the
+abyss; but Mr. Whymper says that the ends of the rope showed no evidence
+of cutting, but only of breaking. He adds that if Taugwalder had had the
+disposition to cut the rope, he would not have had time to do it, the
+accident was so sudden and unexpected.
+
+Lord Douglas' body has never been found. It probably lodged upon some
+inaccessible shelf in the face of the mighty precipice. Lord Douglas was
+a youth of nineteen. The three other victims fell nearly four thousand
+feet, and their bodies lay together upon the glacier when found by
+Mr. Whymper and the other searchers the next morning. Their graves are
+beside the little church in Zermatt.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XLII
+
+[Chillon has a Nice, Roomy Dungeon]
+
+
+Switzerland is simply a large, humpy, solid rock, with a thin skin of
+grass stretched over it. Consequently, they do not dig graves, they
+blast them out with powder and fuse. They cannot afford to have large
+graveyards, the grass skin is too circumscribed and too valuable. It is
+all required for the support of the living.
+
+The graveyard in Zermatt occupies only about one-eighth of an acre.
+The graves are sunk in the living rock, and are very permanent; but
+occupation of them is only temporary; the occupant can only stay till
+his grave is needed by a later subject, he is removed, then, for they do
+not bury one body on top of another. As I understand it, a family owns
+a grave, just as it owns a house. A man dies and leaves his house to his
+son--and at the same time, this dead father succeeds to his own father's
+grave. He moves out of the house and into the grave, and his predecessor
+moves out of the grave and into the cellar of the chapel. I saw a black
+box lying in the churchyard, with skull and cross-bones painted on it,
+and was told that this was used in transferring remains to the cellar.
+
+In that cellar the bones and skulls of several hundred of former
+citizens were compactly corded up. They made a pile eighteen feet long,
+seven feet high, and eight feet wide. I was told that in some of the
+receptacles of this kind in the Swiss villages, the skulls were all
+marked, and if a man wished to find the skulls of his ancestors for
+several generations back, he could do it by these marks, preserved in
+the family records.
+
+
+
+An English gentleman who had lived some years in this region, said it
+was the cradle of compulsory education. But he said that the English
+idea that compulsory education would reduce bastardy and intemperance
+was an error--it has not that effect. He said there was more seduction
+in the Protestant than in the Catholic cantons, because the confessional
+protected the girls. I wonder why it doesn't protect married women in
+France and Spain?
+
+This gentleman said that among the poorer peasants in the Valais, it was
+common for the brothers in a family to cast lots to determine which
+of them should have the coveted privilege of marrying, and his
+brethren--doomed bachelors--heroically banded themselves together to
+help support the new family.
+
+We left Zermatt in a wagon--and in a rain-storm, too--for St. Nicholas
+about ten o'clock one morning. Again we passed between those grass-clad
+prodigious cliffs, specked with wee dwellings peeping over at us from
+velvety green walls ten and twelve hundred feet high. It did not seem
+possible that the imaginary chamois even could climb those precipices.
+Lovers on opposite cliffs probably kiss through a spy-glass, and
+correspond with a rifle.
+
+In Switzerland the farmer's plow is a wide shovel, which scrapes up and
+turns over the thin earthy skin of his native rock--and there the man of
+the plow is a hero. Now here, by our St. Nicholas road, was a grave, and
+it had a tragic story. A plowman was skinning his farm one morning--not
+the steepest part of it, but still a steep part--that is, he was not
+skinning the front of his farm, but the roof of it, near the eaves--when
+he absent-mindedly let go of the plow-handles to moisten his hands, in
+the usual way; he lost his balance and fell out of his farm backward;
+poor fellow, he never touched anything till he struck bottom, fifteen
+hundred feet below. [This was on a Sunday.--M.T.] We throw a halo of
+heroism around the life of the soldier and the sailor, because of the
+deadly dangers they are facing all the time. But we are not used to
+looking upon farming as a heroic occupation. This is because we have not
+lived in Switzerland.
+
+
+
+From St. Nicholas we struck out for Visp--or Vispach--on foot. The
+rain-storms had been at work during several days, and had done a deal of
+damage in Switzerland and Savoy. We came to one place where a stream had
+changed its course and plunged down a mountain in a new place, sweeping
+everything before it. Two poor but precious farms by the roadside were
+ruined. One was washed clear away, and the bed-rock exposed; the other
+was buried out of sight under a tumbled chaos of rocks, gravel, mud,
+and rubbish. The resistless might of water was well exemplified. Some
+saplings which had stood in the way were bent to the ground, stripped
+clean of their bark, and buried under rocky debris. The road had been
+swept away, too.
+
+In another place, where the road was high up on the mountain's face, and
+its outside edge protected by flimsy masonry, we frequently came across
+spots where this masonry had carved off and left dangerous gaps for
+mules to get over; and with still more frequency we found the masonry
+slightly crumbled, and marked by mule-hoofs, thus showing that there had
+been danger of an accident to somebody. When at last we came to a
+badly ruptured bit of masonry, with hoof-prints evidencing a desperate
+struggle to regain the lost foothold, I looked quite hopefully over the
+dizzy precipice. But there was nobody down there.
+
+They take exceedingly good care of their rivers in Switzerland and other
+portions of Europe. They wall up both banks with slanting solid stone
+masonry--so that from end to end of these rivers the banks look like the
+wharves at St. Louis and other towns on the Mississippi River.
+
+It was during this walk from St. Nicholas, in the shadow of the majestic
+Alps, that we came across some little children amusing themselves in
+what seemed, at first, a most odd and original way--but it wasn't; it
+was in simply a natural and characteristic way. They were roped together
+with a string, they had mimic alpenstocks and ice-axes, and were
+climbing a meek and lowly manure-pile with a most blood-curdling amount
+of care and caution. The "guide" at the head of the line cut imaginary
+steps, in a laborious and painstaking way, and not a monkey budged till
+the step above was vacated. If we had waited we should have witnessed an
+imaginary accident, no doubt; and we should have heard the intrepid band
+hurrah when they made the summit and looked around upon the "magnificent
+view," and seen them throw themselves down in exhausted attitudes for a
+rest in that commanding situation.
+
+
+
+In Nevada I used to see the children play at silver-mining. Of course,
+the great thing was an accident in a mine, and there were two "star"
+parts; that of the man who fell down the mimic shaft, and that of the
+daring hero who was lowered into the depths to bring him up. I knew one
+small chap who always insisted on playing BOTH of these parts--and he
+carried his point. He would tumble into the shaft and die, and then come
+to the surface and go back after his own remains.
+
+It is the smartest boy that gets the hero part everywhere; he is head
+guide in Switzerland, head miner in Nevada, head bull-fighter in Spain,
+etc.; but I knew a preacher's son, seven years old, who once selected
+a part for himself compared to which those just mentioned are tame
+and unimpressive. Jimmy's father stopped him from driving imaginary
+horse-cars one Sunday--stopped him from playing captain of an imaginary
+steamboat next Sunday--stopped him from leading an imaginary army to
+battle the following Sunday--and so on. Finally the little fellow said:
+
+"I've tried everything, and they won't any of them do. What CAN I play?"
+
+"I hardly know, Jimmy; but you MUST play only things that are suitable
+to the Sabbath-day."
+
+Next Sunday the preacher stepped softly to a back-room door to see if
+the children were rightly employed. He peeped in. A chair occupied the
+middle of the room, and on the back of it hung Jimmy's cap; one of
+his little sisters took the cap down, nibbled at it, then passed it to
+another small sister and said, "Eat of this fruit, for it is good." The
+Reverend took in the situation--alas, they were playing the Expulsion
+from Eden! Yet he found one little crumb of comfort. He said to himself,
+"For once Jimmy has yielded the chief role--I have been wronging him, I
+did not believe there was so much modesty in him; I should have expected
+him to be either Adam or Eve." This crumb of comfort lasted but a very
+little while; he glanced around and discovered Jimmy standing in an
+imposing attitude in a corner, with a dark and deadly frown on his face.
+What that meant was very plain--HE WAS IMPERSONATING THE DEITY! Think of
+the guileless sublimity of that idea.
+
+
+
+We reached Vispach at 8 P.M., only about seven hours out from St.
+Nicholas. So we must have made fully a mile and a half an hour, and it
+was all downhill, too, and very muddy at that. We stayed all night at
+the Hotel de Soleil; I remember it because the landlady, the portier,
+the waitress, and the chambermaid were not separate persons, but were
+all contained in one neat and chipper suit of spotless muslin, and she
+was the prettiest young creature I saw in all that region. She was the
+landlord's daughter. And I remember that the only native match to her
+I saw in all Europe was the young daughter of the landlord of a village
+inn in the Black Forest. Why don't more people in Europe marry and keep
+hotel?
+
+
+
+Next morning we left with a family of English friends and went by train
+to Brevet, and thence by boat across the lake to Ouchy (Lausanne).
+
+Ouchy is memorable to me, not on account of its beautiful situation and
+lovely surroundings--although these would make it stick long in one's
+memory--but as the place where _I_ caught the London TIMES dropping into
+humor. It was NOT aware of it, though. It did not do it on purpose.
+An English friend called my attention to this lapse, and cut out the
+reprehensible paragraph for me. Think of encountering a grin like this
+on the face of that grim journal:
+
+ERRATUM.--We are requested by Reuter's Telegram Company to correct an
+erroneous announcement made in their Brisbane telegram of the 2d inst.,
+published in our impression of the 5th inst., stating that "Lady Kennedy
+had given birth to twins, the eldest being a son." The Company explain
+that the message they received contained the words "Governor of
+Queensland, TWINS FIRST SON." Being, however, subsequently informed that
+Sir Arthur Kennedy was unmarried and that there must be some mistake, a
+telegraphic repetition was at once demanded. It has been received today
+(11th inst.) and shows that the words really telegraphed by Reuter's
+agent were "Governor Queensland TURNS FIRST SOD," alluding to the
+Maryborough-Gympic Railway in course of construction. The words in
+italics were mutilated by the telegraph in transmission from Australia,
+and reaching the company in the form mentioned above gave rise to the
+mistake.
+
+I had always had a deep and reverent compassion for the sufferings of
+the "prisoner of Chillon," whose story Byron had told in such moving
+verse; so I took the steamer and made pilgrimage to the dungeons of the
+Castle of Chillon, to see the place where poor Bonnivard endured his
+dreary captivity three hundred years ago. I am glad I did that, for it
+took away some of the pain I was feeling on the prisoner's account. His
+dungeon was a nice, cool, roomy place, and I cannot see why he should
+have been dissatisfied with it. If he had been imprisoned in a St.
+Nicholas private dwelling, where the fertilizer prevails, and the goat
+sleeps with the guest, and the chickens roost on him and the cow comes
+in and bothers him when he wants to muse, it would have been another
+matter altogether; but he surely could not have had a very cheerless
+time of it in that pretty dungeon. It has romantic window-slits that
+let in generous bars of light, and it has tall, noble columns, carved
+apparently from the living rock; and what is more, they are written
+all over with thousands of names; some of them--like Byron's and Victor
+Hugo's--of the first celebrity. Why didn't he amuse himself reading
+these names? Then there are the couriers and tourists--swarms of them
+every day--what was to hinder him from having a good time with them? I
+think Bonnivard's sufferings have been overrated.
+
+
+
+Next, we took the train and went to Martigny, on the way to Mont Blanc.
+Next morning we started, about eight o'clock, on foot. We had plenty of
+company, in the way of wagon-loads and mule-loads of tourists--and dust.
+This scattering procession of travelers was perhaps a mile long. The
+road was uphill--interminable uphill--and tolerably steep. The weather
+was blisteringly hot, and the man or woman who had to sit on a creeping
+mule, or in a crawling wagon, and broil in the beating sun, was an
+object to be pitied. We could dodge among the bushes, and have the
+relief of shade, but those people could not. They paid for a conveyance,
+and to get their money's worth they rode.
+
+We went by the way of the Tete Noir, and after we reached high ground
+there was no lack of fine scenery. In one place the road was tunneled
+through a shoulder of the mountain; from there one looked down into a
+gorge with a rushing torrent in it, and on every hand was a charming
+view of rocky buttresses and wooded heights. There was a liberal
+allowance of pretty waterfalls, too, on the Tete Noir route.
+
+
+
+About half an hour before we reached the village of Argentiere a vast
+dome of snow with the sun blazing on it drifted into view and framed
+itself in a strong V-shaped gateway of the mountains, and we recognized
+Mont Blanc, the "monarch of the Alps." With every step, after that,
+this stately dome rose higher and higher into the blue sky, and at last
+seemed to occupy the zenith.
+
+Some of Mont Blanc's neighbors--bare, light-brown, steeplelike
+rocks--were very peculiarly shaped. Some were whittled to a sharp point,
+and slightly bent at the upper end, like a lady's finger; one monster
+sugar-loaf resembled a bishop's hat; it was too steep to hold snow on
+its sides, but had some in the division.
+
+
+
+While we were still on very high ground, and before the descent toward
+Argentiere began, we looked up toward a neighboring mountain-top, and
+saw exquisite prismatic colors playing about some white clouds which
+were so delicate as to almost resemble gossamer webs. The faint pinks
+and greens were peculiarly beautiful; none of the colors were deep, they
+were the lightest shades. They were bewitching commingled. We sat down
+to study and enjoy this singular spectacle. The tints remained during
+several minutes--flitting, changing, melting into each other; paling
+almost away for a moment, then reflushing--a shifting, restless,
+unstable succession of soft opaline gleams, shimmering over that air
+film of white cloud, and turning it into a fabric dainty enough to
+clothe an angel with.
+
+By and by we perceived what those super-delicate colors, and their
+continuous play and movement, reminded us of; it is what one sees in a
+soap-bubble that is drifting along, catching changes of tint from the
+objects it passes. A soap-bubble is the most beautiful thing, and the
+most exquisite, in nature; that lovely phantom fabric in the sky was
+suggestive of a soap-bubble split open, and spread out in the sun. I
+wonder how much it would take to buy a soap-bubble, if there was only
+one in the world? One could buy a hatful of Koh-i-Noors with the same
+money, no doubt.
+
+
+
+We made the tramp from Martigny to Argentiere in eight hours. We beat
+all the mules and wagons; we didn't usually do that. We hired a sort of
+open baggage-wagon for the trip down the valley to Chamonix, and then
+devoted an hour to dining. This gave the driver time to get drunk. He
+had a friend with him, and this friend also had had time to get drunk.
+
+When we drove off, the driver said all the tourists had arrived and
+gone by while we were at dinner; "but," said he, impressively, "be not
+disturbed by that--remain tranquil--give yourselves no uneasiness--their
+dust rises far before us--rest you tranquil, leave all to me--I am the
+king of drivers. Behold!"
+
+Down came his whip, and away we clattered. I never had such a shaking up
+in my life. The recent flooding rains had washed the road clear away in
+places, but we never stopped, we never slowed down for anything. We tore
+right along, over rocks, rubbish, gullies, open fields--sometimes with
+one or two wheels on the ground, but generally with none. Every now and
+then that calm, good-natured madman would bend a majestic look over his
+shoulder at us and say, "Ah, you perceive? It is as I have said--I am
+the king of drivers." Every time we just missed going to destruction,
+he would say, with tranquil happiness, "Enjoy it, gentlemen, it is very
+rare, it is very unusual--it is given to few to ride with the king of
+drivers--and observe, it is as I have said, I am he."
+
+
+
+He spoke in French, and punctuated with hiccoughs. His friend was
+French, too, but spoke in German--using the same system of punctuation,
+however. The friend called himself the "Captain of Mont Blanc," and
+wanted us to make the ascent with him. He said he had made more ascents
+than any other man--forty seven--and his brother had made thirty-seven.
+His brother was the best guide in the world, except himself--but he,
+yes, observe him well--he was the "Captain of Mont Blanc"--that title
+belonged to none other.
+
+The "king" was as good as his word--he overtook that long procession
+of tourists and went by it like a hurricane. The result was that we got
+choicer rooms at the hotel in Chamonix than we should have done if
+his majesty had been a slower artist--or rather, if he hadn't most
+providentially got drunk before he left Argentiere.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
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