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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 2
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: March 1994 [EBook #5783]
+Posting Date: June 3, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+(Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+First published in 1880
+
+Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS:
+
+
+     1.   PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR
+     2.   TITIAN'S MOSES
+     3.   THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES
+     32.  FRENCH CALM
+     33.  THE CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
+     34.  A SEARCH
+     35.  HE SWOONED PONDEROUSLY
+     36.  I ROLLED HIM OVER
+     37.  THE ONE I HIRED
+     36.  THE MARCH TO THE FIELD
+     39.  THE POST OF DANGER
+     40.  THE RECONCILIATION
+     41.  AN OBJECT OF ADMIRATION
+     42.  WAGNER
+     43.  RAGING
+     44.  ROARING
+     45.  SHRIEKING
+     46.  A CUSTOMARY THING
+     47.  ONE OF THE "REST"
+     48.  A CONTRIBUTION BOX
+     49.  CONSPICUOUS
+     50.  TAIL PIECE
+     51.  ONLY A SHRIEK
+     52.  "HE ONLY CRY"
+     53.  LATE COMERS CARED FOR
+     54.  EVIDENTLY DREAMING
+     55.  "TURN ON MORE RAIN"
+     56.  HARRIS ATTENDING THE OPERA
+     57.  PAINTING MY GREAT PICTURE
+     58.  OUR START
+     59.  AN UNKNOWN COSTUME
+     60.  THE TOWER
+     61.  SLOW BUT SURE
+     62.  THE ROBBER CHIEF
+     63.  AN HONEST MAN
+     64.  THE TOWN BY NIGHT
+     65.  GENERATIONS OF BAREFEET
+     66.  OUR BEDROOM
+     67.  PRACTICING
+     68.  PAWING AROUND
+     69.  A NIGHT'S WORK
+     70.  LEAVING HEILBRONN
+     71.  THE CAPTAIN
+     72.  WAITING FOR THE TRAIN
+
+
+
+CONTENTS:
+
+CHAPTER VIII The Great French Duel--Mistaken Notions--Outbreak in the
+French Assembly--Calmness of M Gambetta--I Volunteer as Second--Drawing
+up a Will--The Challenge and its Acceptance--Difficulty in Selection
+of Weapons--Deciding on Distance--M. Gambetta's Firmness--Arranging
+Details--Hiring Hearses--How it was Kept from the Press--March to the
+Field--The Post of Danger--The Duel--The Result--General Rejoicings--The
+only One Hurt--A Firm Resolution
+
+CHAPTER IX At the Theatre--German Ideal--At the Opera--The
+Orchestra--Howlings and Wailings--A Curious Play--One Season of
+Rest--The Wedding Chorus--Germans fond of the Opera--Funerals Needed
+--A Private Party--What I Overheard--A Gentle Girl--A
+Contribution--box--Unpleasantly Conspicuous
+
+CHAPTER X Four Hours with Wagner--A Wonderful Singer, Once--" Only a
+Shriek"--An Ancient Vocalist--"He Only Cry"--Emotional Germans--A
+Wise Custom--Late Comers Rebuked--Heard to the Last--No Interruptions
+Allowed--A Royal Audience--An Eccentric King--Real Rain and More of
+It--Immense Success--"Encore! Encore!"--Magnanimity of the King
+
+CHAPTER XI Lessons in Art--My Great Picture of Heidelberg Castle--Its
+Effect in the Exhibition--Mistaken for a Turner--A Studio--Waiting
+for Orders--A Tramp Decided On--The Start for Heilbronn--Our Walking
+Dress--"Pleasant march to you"--We Take the Rail--German People on
+Board--Not Understood--Speak only German and English--Wimpfen--A Funny
+Tower--Dinner in the Garden--Vigorous Tramping--Ride in a Peasant's
+Cart--A Famous Room
+
+CHAPTER XII The Rathhaus--An Old Robber Knight, Gotz Von
+Berlichingen--His Famous Deeds--The Square Tower--A Curious old
+Church--A Gay Turn--out--A Legend--The Wives' Treasures--A Model
+Waiter--A Miracle Performed--An Old Town--The Worn Stones
+
+CHAPTER XIII Early to Bed--Lonesome--Nervous Excitement--The Room We
+Occupied--Disturbed by a Mouse--Grow Desperate--The Old Remedy--A Shoe
+Thrown--Result--Hopelessly Awake--An Attempt to Dress--A Cruise in the
+Dark--Crawling on the Floor--A General Smash-up--Forty-seven Miles'
+Travel
+
+CHAPTER XIV A Famous Turn--out--Raftsmen on the Neckar--The Log
+Rafts--The Neckar--A Sudden Idea--To Heidelberg on a Raft--Chartering
+a Raft--Gloomy Feelings and Conversation--Delicious Journeying--View of
+the Banks--Compared with Railroading
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+The Great French Duel
+
+[I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]
+
+
+Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain smart people, it
+is in reality one of the most dangerous institutions of our day. Since
+it is always fought in the open air, the combatants are nearly sure
+to catch cold. M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French
+duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at last a
+confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris has expressed
+the opinion that if he goes on dueling for fifteen or twenty years
+more--unless he forms the habit of fighting in a comfortable room where
+damps and draughts cannot intrude--he will eventually endanger his life.
+This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are so stubborn
+in maintaining that the French duel is the most health-giving of
+recreations because of the open-air exercise it affords. And it
+ought also to moderate that foolish talk about French duelists and
+socialist-hated monarchs being the only people who are immoral.
+
+But it is time to get at my subject. As soon as I heard of the late
+fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou in the French
+Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow. I knew it because a long
+personal friendship with M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and
+implacable nature of the man. Vast as are his physical proportions,
+I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate to the remotest
+frontiers of his person.
+
+I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once to him. As I had
+expected, I found the brave fellow steeped in a profound French calm.
+I say French calm, because French calmness and English calmness have
+points of difference.
+
+
+
+He was moving swiftly back and forth among the debris of his furniture,
+now and then staving chance fragments of it across the room with his
+foot; grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth; and
+halting every little while to deposit another handful of his hair on the
+pile which he had been building of it on the table.
+
+He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach to his
+breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four or five times, and
+then placed me in his own arm-chair. As soon as I had got well again, we
+began business at once.
+
+I said I supposed he would wish me to act as his second, and he said,
+"Of course." I said I must be allowed to act under a French name, so
+that I might be shielded from obloquy in my country, in case of fatal
+results. He winced here, probably at the suggestion that dueling was not
+regarded with respect in America. However, he agreed to my requirement.
+This accounts for the fact that in all the newspaper reports M.
+Gambetta's second was apparently a Frenchman.
+
+
+
+First, we drew up my principal's will. I insisted upon this, and stuck
+to my point. I said I had never heard of a man in his right mind going
+out to fight a duel without first making his will. He said he had never
+heard of a man in his right mind doing anything of the kind. When he had
+finished the will, he wished to proceed to a choice of his "last words."
+He wanted to know how the following words, as a dying exclamation,
+struck me:
+
+"I die for my God, for my country, for freedom of speech, for progress,
+and the universal brotherhood of man!"
+
+I objected that this would require too lingering a death; it was a good
+speech for a consumptive, but not suited to the exigencies of the field
+of honor. We wrangled over a good many ante-mortem outbursts, but I
+finally got him to cut his obituary down to this, which he copied into
+his memorandum-book, purposing to get it by heart:
+
+"I DIE THAT FRANCE MIGHT LIVE."
+
+I said that this remark seemed to lack relevancy; but he said relevancy
+was a matter of no consequence in last words, what you wanted was
+thrill.
+
+The next thing in order was the choice of weapons. My principal said he
+was not feeling well, and would leave that and the other details of the
+proposed meeting to me. Therefore I wrote the following note and carried
+it to M. Fourtou's friend:
+
+Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge, and authorizes me to
+propose Plessis-Piquet as the place of meeting; tomorrow morning at
+daybreak as the time; and axes as the weapons.
+
+I am, sir, with great respect,
+
+Mark Twain.
+
+M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered. Then he turned to me,
+and said, with a suggestion of severity in his tone:
+
+"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable result of such a
+meeting as this?"
+
+"Well, for instance, what WOULD it be?"
+
+"Bloodshed!"
+
+"That's about the size of it," I said. "Now, if it is a fair question,
+what was your side proposing to shed?"
+
+I had him there. He saw he had made a blunder, so he hastened to explain
+it away. He said he had spoken jestingly. Then he added that he and his
+principal would enjoy axes, and indeed prefer them, but such weapons
+were barred by the French code, and so I must change my proposal.
+
+I walked the floor, turning the thing over in my mind, and finally it
+occurred to me that Gatling-guns at fifteen paces would be a likely way
+to get a verdict on the field of honor. So I framed this idea into a
+proposition.
+
+But it was not accepted. The code was in the way again. I proposed
+rifles; then double-barreled shotguns; then Colt's navy revolvers. These
+being all rejected, I reflected awhile, and sarcastically suggested
+brickbats at three-quarters of a mile. I always hate to fool away a
+humorous thing on a person who has no perception of humor; and it filled
+me with bitterness when this man went soberly away to submit the last
+proposition to his principal.
+
+He came back presently and said his principal was charmed with the idea
+of brickbats at three-quarters of a mile, but must decline on account of
+the danger to disinterested parties passing between them. Then I said:
+
+"Well, I am at the end of my string, now. Perhaps YOU would be good
+enough to suggest a weapon? Perhaps you have even had one in your mind
+all the time?"
+
+His countenance brightened, and he said with alacrity:
+
+"Oh, without doubt, monsieur!"
+
+
+
+So he fell to hunting in his pockets--pocket after pocket, and he had
+plenty of them--muttering all the while, "Now, what could I have done
+with them?"
+
+At last he was successful. He fished out of his vest pocket a couple
+of little things which I carried to the light and ascertained to be
+pistols. They were single-barreled and silver-mounted, and very dainty
+and pretty. I was not able to speak for emotion. I silently hung one of
+them on my watch-chain, and returned the other. My companion in crime
+now unrolled a postage-stamp containing several cartridges, and gave me
+one of them. I asked if he meant to signify by this that our men were
+to be allowed but one shot apiece. He replied that the French code
+permitted no more. I then begged him to go and suggest a distance, for
+my mind was growing weak and confused under the strain which had been
+put upon it. He named sixty-five yards. I nearly lost my patience. I
+said:
+
+"Sixty-five yards, with these instruments? Squirt-guns would be deadlier
+at fifty. Consider, my friend, you and I are banded together to destroy
+life, not make it eternal."
+
+But with all my persuasions, all my arguments, I was only able to
+get him to reduce the distance to thirty-five yards; and even this
+concession he made with reluctance, and said with a sigh, "I wash my
+hands of this slaughter; on your head be it."
+
+There was nothing for me but to go home to my old lion-heart and tell my
+humiliating story. When I entered, M. Gambetta was laying his last lock
+of hair upon the altar. He sprang toward me, exclaiming:
+
+"You have made the fatal arrangements--I see it in your eye!"
+
+"I have."
+
+His face paled a trifle, and he leaned upon the table for support. He
+breathed thick and heavily for a moment or two, so tumultuous were his
+feelings; then he hoarsely whispered:
+
+"The weapon, the weapon! Quick! what is the weapon?"
+
+"This!" and I displayed that silver-mounted thing. He cast but one
+glance at it, then swooned ponderously to the floor.
+
+
+
+When he came to, he said mournfully:
+
+"The unnatural calm to which I have subjected myself has told upon my
+nerves. But away with weakness! I will confront my fate like a man and a
+Frenchman."
+
+He rose to his feet, and assumed an attitude which for sublimity has
+never been approached by man, and has seldom been surpassed by statues.
+Then he said, in his deep bass tones:
+
+"Behold, I am calm, I am ready; reveal to me the distance."
+
+"Thirty-five yards." ...
+
+
+
+I could not lift him up, of course; but I rolled him over, and poured
+water down his back. He presently came to, and said:
+
+"Thirty-five yards--without a rest? But why ask? Since murder was that
+man's intention, why should he palter with small details? But mark you
+one thing: in my fall the world shall see how the chivalry of France
+meets death."
+
+After a long silence he asked:
+
+"Was nothing said about that man's family standing up with him, as
+an offset to my bulk? But no matter; I would not stoop to make such
+a suggestion; if he is not noble enough to suggest it himself, he is
+welcome to this advantage, which no honorable man would take."
+
+He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection, which lasted some
+minutes; after which he broke silence with:
+
+"The hour--what is the hour fixed for the collision?"
+
+"Dawn, tomorrow."
+
+He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:
+
+"Insanity! I never heard of such a thing. Nobody is abroad at such an
+hour."
+
+"That is the reason I named it. Do you mean to say you want an
+audience?"
+
+"It is no time to bandy words. I am astonished that M. Fourtou should
+ever have agreed to so strange an innovation. Go at once and require a
+later hour."
+
+I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost plunged into the
+arms of M. Fourtou's second. He said:
+
+"I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously objects to the
+hour chosen, and begs you will consent to change it to half past nine."
+
+"Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend is at the service
+of your excellent principal. We agree to the proposed change of time."
+
+"I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he turned to a
+person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir, the hour is altered to
+half past nine." Whereupon M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went
+away. My accomplice continued:
+
+"If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall proceed to the
+field in the same carriage as is customary."
+
+"It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged to you for mentioning
+the surgeons, for I am afraid I should not have thought of them. How
+many shall I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"
+
+"Two is the customary number for each party. I refer to 'chief'
+surgeons; but considering the exalted positions occupied by our clients,
+it will be well and decorous that each of us appoint several consulting
+surgeons, from among the highest in the profession. These will come in
+their own private carriages. Have you engaged a hearse?"
+
+
+
+"Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend to it right
+away. I must seem very ignorant to you; but you must try to overlook
+that, because I have never had any experience of such a swell duel as
+this before. I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific
+coast, but I see now that they were crude affairs. A hearse--sho! we
+used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let anybody cord
+them up and cart them off that wanted to. Have you anything further to
+suggest?"
+
+"Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together, as is
+usual. The subordinates and mutes will go on foot, as is also usual. I
+will see you at eight o'clock in the morning, and we will then arrange
+the order of the procession. I have the honor to bid you a good day."
+
+I returned to my client, who said, "Very well; at what hour is the
+engagement to begin?"
+
+"Half past nine."
+
+"Very good indeed. Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"
+
+"SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can for a moment
+deem me capable of so base a treachery--"
+
+"Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I wounded you? Ah,
+forgive me; I am overloading you with labor. Therefore go on with the
+other details, and drop this one from your list. The bloody-minded
+Fourtou will be sure to attend to it. Or I myself--yes, to make certain,
+I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir--"
+
+"Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble; that other
+second has informed M. Noir."
+
+"H'm! I might have known it. It is just like that Fourtou, who always
+wants to make a display."
+
+
+
+At half past nine in the morning the procession approached the field of
+Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first came our carriage--nobody
+in it but M. Gambetta and myself; then a carriage containing M. Fourtou
+and his second; then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did not
+believe in God, and these had MS. funeral orations projecting from their
+breast pockets; then a carriage containing the head surgeons and their
+cases of instruments; then eight private carriages containing consulting
+surgeons; then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses; then a
+carriage containing the head undertakers; then a train of assistants
+and mutes on foot; and after these came plodding through the fog a long
+procession of camp followers, police, and citizens generally. It was a
+noble turnout, and would have made a fine display if we had had thinner
+weather.
+
+There was no conversation. I spoke several times to my principal, but
+I judge he was not aware of it, for he always referred to his note-book
+and muttered absently, "I die that France might live."
+
+Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off the thirty-five
+yards, and then drew lots for choice of position. This latter was but
+an ornamental ceremony, for all the choices were alike in such weather.
+These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal and asked him
+if he was ready. He spread himself out to his full width, and said in a
+stern voice, "Ready! Let the batteries be charged."
+
+The loading process was done in the presence of duly constituted
+witnesses. We considered it best to perform this delicate service with
+the assistance of a lantern, on account of the state of the weather. We
+now placed our men.
+
+At this point the police noticed that the public had massed themselves
+together on the right and left of the field; they therefore begged a
+delay, while they should put these poor people in a place of safety.
+
+The request was granted.
+
+The police having ordered the two multitudes to take positions behind
+the duelists, we were once more ready. The weather growing still more
+opaque, it was agreed between myself and the other second that before
+giving the fatal signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable
+the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.
+
+I now returned to my principal, and was distressed to observe that he
+had lost a good deal of his spirit. I tried my best to hearten him. I
+said, "Indeed, sir, things are not as bad as they seem. Considering
+the character of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed, the
+generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog, and the added
+fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed and the other cross-eyed and
+near-sighted, it seems to me that this conflict need not necessarily be
+fatal. There are chances that both of you may survive. Therefore, cheer
+up; do not be downhearted."
+
+This speech had so good an effect that my principal immediately
+stretched forth his hand and said, "I am myself again; give me the
+weapon."
+
+I laid it, all lonely and forlorn, in the center of the vast solitude
+of his palm. He gazed at it and shuddered. And still mournfully
+contemplating it, he murmured in a broken voice:
+
+"Alas, it is not death I dread, but mutilation."
+
+I heartened him once more, and with such success that he presently
+said, "Let the tragedy begin. Stand at my back; do not desert me in this
+solemn hour, my friend."
+
+I gave him my promise. I now assisted him to point his pistol toward the
+spot where I judged his adversary to be standing, and cautioned him to
+listen well and further guide himself by my fellow-second's whoop.
+Then I propped myself against M. Gambetta's back, and raised a rousing
+"Whoop-ee!" This was answered from out the far distances of the fog, and
+I immediately shouted:
+
+"One--two--three--FIRE!"
+
+Two little sounds like SPIT! SPIT! broke upon my ear, and in the same
+instant I was crushed to the earth under a mountain of flesh. Bruised
+as I was, I was still able to catch a faint accent from above, to this
+effect:
+
+
+
+"I die for... for ... perdition take it, what IS it I die for? ... oh,
+yes--FRANCE! I die that France may live!"
+
+The surgeons swarmed around with their probes in their hands, and
+applied their microscopes to the whole area of M. Gambetta's person,
+with the happy result of finding nothing in the nature of a wound. Then
+a scene ensued which was in every way gratifying and inspiriting.
+
+The two gladiators fell upon each other's neck, with floods of proud and
+happy tears; that other second embraced me; the surgeons, the
+orators, the undertakers, the police, everybody embraced, everybody
+congratulated, everybody cried, and the whole atmosphere was filled with
+praise and with joy unspeakable.
+
+It seems to me then that I would rather be a hero of a French duel than
+a crowned and sceptered monarch.
+
+
+
+When the commotion had somewhat subsided, the body of surgeons held a
+consultation, and after a good deal of debate decided that with proper
+care and nursing there was reason to believe that I would survive my
+injuries. My internal hurts were deemed the most serious, since it was
+apparent that a broken rib had penetrated my left lung, and that many of
+my organs had been pressed out so far to one side or the other of where
+they belonged, that it was doubtful if they would ever learn to perform
+their functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities. They then
+set my left arm in two places, pulled my right hip into its socket
+again, and re-elevated my nose. I was an object of great interest,
+and even admiration; and many sincere and warm-hearted persons had
+themselves introduced to me, and said they were proud to know the only
+man who had been hurt in a French duel in forty years.
+
+I was placed in an ambulance at the very head of the procession;
+and thus with gratifying 'ECLAT I was marched into Paris, the most
+conspicuous figure in that great spectacle, and deposited at the
+hospital.
+
+
+
+The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred upon me. However,
+few escape that distinction.
+
+Such is the true version of the most memorable private conflict of the
+age.
+
+I have no complaints to make against any one. I acted for myself, and I
+can stand the consequences.
+
+Without boasting, I think I may say I am not afraid to stand before a
+modern French duelist, but as long as I keep in my right mind I will
+never consent to stand behind one again.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+[What the Beautiful Maiden Said]
+
+
+One day we took the train and went down to Mannheim to see "King Lear"
+played in German. It was a mistake. We sat in our seats three whole
+hours and never understood anything but the thunder and lightning; and
+even that was reversed to suit German ideas, for the thunder came first
+and the lightning followed after.
+
+The behavior of the audience was perfect. There were no rustlings, or
+whisperings, or other little disturbances; each act was listened to in
+silence, and the applauding was done after the curtain was down. The
+doors opened at half past four, the play began promptly at half past
+five, and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were in their
+seats, and quiet reigned. A German gentleman in the train had said that
+a Shakespearian play was an appreciated treat in Germany and that
+we should find the house filled. It was true; all the six tiers were
+filled, and remained so to the end--which suggested that it is not only
+balcony people who like Shakespeare in Germany, but those of the pit and
+gallery, too.
+
+Another time, we went to Mannheim and attended a shivaree--otherwise an
+opera--the one called "Lohengrin." The banging and slamming and booming
+and crashing were something beyond belief. The racking and pitiless pain
+of it remains stored up in my memory alongside the memory of the time
+that I had my teeth fixed.
+
+
+
+There were circumstances which made it necessary for me to stay through
+the four hours to the end, and I stayed; but the recollection of that
+long, dragging, relentless season of suffering is indestructible. To
+have to endure it in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder.
+I was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers, of the two
+sexes, and this compelled repression; yet at times the pain was so
+exquisite that I could hardly keep the tears back.
+
+
+
+At those times, as the howlings and wailings and shrieking of the
+singers, and the ragings and roarings and explosions of the vast
+orchestra rose higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer and
+fiercer, I could have cried if I had been alone. Those strangers would
+not have been surprised to see a man do such a thing who was being
+gradually skinned, but they would have marveled at it here, and made
+remarks about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the present case
+which was an advantage over being skinned.
+
+
+
+There was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act, and I
+could have gone out and rested during that time, but I could not trust
+myself to do it, for I felt that I should desert to stay out. There was
+another wait of half an hour toward nine o'clock, but I had gone through
+so much by that time that I had no spirit left, and so had no desire but
+to be let alone.
+
+
+
+I do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there were like
+me, for, indeed, they were not. Whether it was that they naturally
+liked that noise, or whether it was that they had learned to like it
+by getting used to it, I did not at the time know; but they did like
+it--this was plain enough. While it was going on they sat and looked as
+rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs; and whenever
+the curtain fell they rose to their feet, in one solid mighty multitude,
+and the air was snowed thick with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes
+of applause swept the place. This was not comprehensible to me. Of
+course, there were many people there who were not under compulsion to
+stay; yet the tiers were as full at the close as they had been at the
+beginning. This showed that the people liked it.
+
+It was a curious sort of a play. In the manner of costumes and scenery
+it was fine and showy enough; but there was not much action. That is
+to say, there was not much really done, it was only talked about; and
+always violently. It was what one might call a narrative play. Everybody
+had a narrative and a grievance, and none were reasonable about it, but
+all in an offensive and ungovernable state. There was little of that
+sort of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand down by
+the footlights, warbling, with blended voices, and keep holding out
+their arms toward each other and drawing them back and spreading both
+hands over first one breast and then the other with a shake and a
+pressure--no, it was every rioter for himself and no blending. Each sang
+his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by the whole orchestra of
+sixty instruments, and when this had continued for some time, and one
+was hoping they might come to an understanding and modify the noise, a
+great chorus composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth,
+and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, I lived over again all
+that I suffered the time the orphan asylum burned down.
+
+
+
+We only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven's sweet ecstasy
+and peace during all this long and diligent and acrimonious reproduction
+of the other place. This was while a gorgeous procession of people
+marched around and around, in the third act, and sang the Wedding
+Chorus. To my untutored ear that was music--almost divine music. While
+my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm of those gracious sounds,
+it seemed to me that I could almost resuffer the torments which had
+gone before, in order to be so healed again. There is where the deep
+ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed. It deals so largely in pain
+that its scattered delights are prodigiously augmented by the contrasts.
+A pretty air in an opera is prettier there than it could be anywhere
+else, I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he
+would elsewhere.
+
+I have since found out that there is nothing the Germans like so much as
+an opera. They like it, not in a mild and moderate way, but with their
+whole hearts. This is a legitimate result of habit and education. Our
+nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt. One in fifty of
+those who attend our operas likes it already, perhaps, but I think a
+good many of the other forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and
+the rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it. The latter
+usually hum the airs while they are being sung, so that their neighbors
+may perceive that they have been to operas before. The funerals of these
+do not occur often enough.
+
+
+
+A gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl of seventeen sat
+right in front of us that night at the Mannheim opera. These people
+talked, between the acts, and I understood them, though I understood
+nothing that was uttered on the distant stage. At first they were
+guarded in their talk, but after they had heard my agent and me
+conversing in English they dropped their reserve and I picked up many
+of their little confidences; no, I mean many of HER little
+confidences--meaning the elder party--for the young girl only listened,
+and gave assenting nods, but never said a word. How pretty she was,
+and how sweet she was! I wished she would speak. But evidently she was
+absorbed in her own thoughts, her own young-girl dreams, and found a
+dearer pleasure in silence. But she was not dreaming sleepy dreams--no,
+she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still a moment. She was
+an enchanting study. Her gown was of a soft white silky stuff that clung
+to her round young figure like a fish's skin, and it was rippled over
+with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace; she had deep, tender
+eyes, with long, curved lashes; and she had peachy cheeks, and a
+dimpled chin, and such a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so
+dovelike, so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching. For long
+hours I did mightily wish she would speak. And at last she did; the red
+lips parted, and out leaps her thought--and with such a guileless and
+pretty enthusiasm, too: "Auntie, I just KNOW I've got five hundred fleas
+on me!"
+
+That was probably over the average. Yes, it must have been very much
+over the average. The average at that time in the Grand Duchy of Baden
+was forty-five to a young person (when alone), according to the official
+estimate of the home secretary for that year; the average for older
+people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a wholesome young
+girl came into the presence of her elders she immediately lowered their
+average and raised her own. She became a sort of contribution-box.
+
+
+
+This dear young thing in the theater had been sitting there
+unconsciously taking up a collection. Many a skinny old being in our
+neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.
+
+In that large audience, that night, there were eight very conspicuous
+people. These were ladies who had their hats or bonnets on. What a
+blessed thing it would be if a lady could make herself conspicuous in
+our theaters by wearing her hat.
+
+
+
+It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies and gentlemen to take bonnets,
+hats, overcoats, canes, or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in
+Mannheim this rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely
+made up of people from a distance, and among these were always a few
+timid ladies who were afraid that if they had to go into an anteroom to
+get their things when the play was over, they would miss their train.
+But the great mass of those who came from a distance always ran the risk
+and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train to a breach of good
+manners and the discomfort of being unpleasantly conspicuous during a
+stretch of three or four hours.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+[How Wagner Operas Bang Along]
+
+
+Three or four hours. That is a long time to sit in one place, whether
+one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner's operas bang along for
+six whole hours on a stretch! But the people sit there and enjoy it all,
+and wish it would last longer. A German lady in Munich told me that a
+person could not like Wagner's music at first, but must go through the
+deliberate process of learning to like it--then he would have his sure
+reward; for when he had learned to like it he would hunger for it and
+never be able to get enough of it. She said that six hours of Wagner was
+by no means too much. She said that this composer had made a complete
+revolution in music and was burying the old masters one by one. And
+she said that Wagner's operas differed from all others in one notable
+respect, and that was that they were not merely spotted with music here
+and there, but were ALL music, from the first strain to the last. This
+surprised me. I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found
+hardly ANY music in it except the Wedding Chorus. She said "Lohengrin"
+was noisier than Wagner's other operas, but that if I would keep on
+going to see it I would find by and by that it was all music, and
+therefore would then enjoy it. I COULD have said, "But would you advise
+a person to deliberately practice having a toothache in the pit of his
+stomach for a couple of years in order that he might then come to enjoy
+it?" But I reserved that remark.
+
+This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor who had performed in
+a Wagner opera the night before, and went on to enlarge upon his old and
+prodigious fame, and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the
+princely houses of Germany. Here was another surprise. I had attended
+that very opera, in the person of my agent, and had made close and
+accurate observations. So I said:
+
+"Why, madam, MY experience warrants me in stating that that tenor's
+voice is not a voice at all, but only a shriek--the shriek of a hyena."
+
+
+
+"That is very true," she said; "he cannot sing now; it is already many
+years that he has lost his voice, but in other times he sang, yes,
+divinely! So whenever he comes now, you shall see, yes, that the theater
+will not hold the people. JAWOHL BEI GOTT! his voice is WUNDERSCHOEN in
+that past time."
+
+I said she was discovering to me a kindly trait in the Germans which
+was worth emulating. I said that over the water we were not quite so
+generous; that with us, when a singer had lost his voice and a jumper
+had lost his legs, these parties ceased to draw. I said I had been to
+the opera in Hanover, once, and in Mannheim once, and in Munich
+(through my authorized agent) once, and this large experience had nearly
+persuaded me that the Germans PREFERRED singers who couldn't sing. This
+was not such a very extravagant speech, either, for that burly Mannheim
+tenor's praises had been the talk of all Heidelberg for a week before
+his performance took place--yet his voice was like the distressing noise
+which a nail makes when you screech it across a window-pane. I said so
+to Heidelberg friends the next day, and they said, in the calmest and
+simplest way, that that was very true, but that in earlier times his
+voice HAD been wonderfully fine. And the tenor in Hanover was just
+another example of this sort. The English-speaking German gentleman who
+went with me to the opera there was brimming with enthusiasm over that
+tenor. He said:
+
+"ACH GOTT! a great man! You shall see him. He is so celebrate in all
+Germany--and he has a pension, yes, from the government. He not obliged
+to sing now, only twice every year; but if he not sing twice each year
+they take him his pension away."
+
+Very well, we went. When the renowned old tenor appeared, I got a nudge
+and an excited whisper:
+
+"Now you see him!"
+
+But the "celebrate" was an astonishing disappointment to me. If he
+had been behind a screen I should have supposed they were performing a
+surgical operation on him. I looked at my friend--to my great surprise
+he seemed intoxicated with pleasure, his eyes were dancing with eager
+delight. When the curtain at last fell, he burst into the stormiest
+applause, and kept it up--as did the whole house--until the afflictive
+tenor had come three times before the curtain to make his bow. While the
+glowing enthusiast was swabbing the perspiration from his face, I said:
+
+"I don't mean the least harm, but really, now, do you think he can
+sing?"
+
+"Him? NO! GOTT IM HIMMEL, ABER, how he has been able to sing twenty-five
+years ago?" [Then pensively.] "ACH, no, NOW he not sing any more, he
+only cry. When he think he sing, now, he not sing at all, no, he only
+make like a cat which is unwell."
+
+
+
+Where and how did we get the idea that the Germans are a stolid,
+phlegmatic race? In truth, they are widely removed from that. They are
+warm-hearted, emotional, impulsive, enthusiastic, their tears come at
+the mildest touch, and it is not hard to move them to laughter. They are
+the very children of impulse. We are cold and self-contained, compared
+to the Germans. They hug and kiss and cry and shout and dance and sing;
+and where we use one loving, petting expression, they pour out a score.
+Their language is full of endearing diminutives; nothing that they love
+escapes the application of a petting diminutive--neither the house, nor
+the dog, nor the horse, nor the grandmother, nor any other creature,
+animate or inanimate.
+
+In the theaters at Hanover, Hamburg, and Mannheim, they had a wise
+custom. The moment the curtain went up, the light in the body of the
+house went down. The audience sat in the cool gloom of a deep twilight,
+which greatly enhanced the glowing splendors of the stage. It saved gas,
+too, and people were not sweated to death.
+
+When I saw "King Lear" played, nobody was allowed to see a scene
+shifted; if there was nothing to be done but slide a forest out of the
+way and expose a temple beyond, one did not see that forest split itself
+in the middle and go shrieking away, with the accompanying disenchanting
+spectacle of the hands and heels of the impelling impulse--no, the
+curtain was always dropped for an instant--one heard not the least
+movement behind it--but when it went up, the next instant, the forest
+was gone. Even when the stage was being entirely reset, one heard no
+noise. During the whole time that "King Lear" was playing the curtain
+was never down two minutes at any one time. The orchestra played until
+the curtain was ready to go up for the first time, then they departed
+for the evening. Where the stage waits never reach two minutes there is
+no occasion for music. I had never seen this two-minute business between
+acts but once before, and that was when the "Shaughraun" was played at
+Wallack's.
+
+I was at a concert in Munich one night, the people were streaming in,
+the clock-hand pointed to seven, the music struck up, and instantly
+all movement in the body of the house ceased--nobody was standing, or
+walking up the aisles, or fumbling with a seat, the stream of incomers
+had suddenly dried up at its source. I listened undisturbed to a piece
+of music that was fifteen minutes long--always expecting some tardy
+ticket-holders to come crowding past my knees, and being continuously
+and pleasantly disappointed--but when the last note was struck, here
+came the stream again. You see, they had made those late comers wait in
+the comfortable waiting-parlor from the time the music had begun until
+it was ended.
+
+
+
+It was the first time I had ever seen this sort of criminals denied the
+privilege of destroying the comfort of a house full of their betters.
+Some of these were pretty fine birds, but no matter, they had to tarry
+outside in the long parlor under the inspection of a double rank of
+liveried footmen and waiting-maids who supported the two walls with
+their backs and held the wraps and traps of their masters and mistresses
+on their arms.
+
+We had no footmen to hold our things, and it was not permissible to take
+them into the concert-room; but there were some men and women to take
+charge of them for us. They gave us checks for them and charged a fixed
+price, payable in advance--five cents.
+
+In Germany they always hear one thing at an opera which has never yet
+been heard in America, perhaps--I mean the closing strain of a fine solo
+or duet. We always smash into it with an earthquake of applause. The
+result is that we rob ourselves of the sweetest part of the treat; we
+get the whiskey, but we don't get the sugar in the bottom of the glass.
+
+Our way of scattering applause along through an act seems to me to be
+better than the Mannheim way of saving it all up till the act is ended.
+I do not see how an actor can forget himself and portray hot passion
+before a cold still audience. I should think he would feel foolish. It
+is a pain to me to this day, to remember how that old German Lear raged
+and wept and howled around the stage, with never a response from that
+hushed house, never a single outburst till the act was ended. To
+me there was something unspeakably uncomfortable in the solemn dead
+silences that always followed this old person's tremendous outpourings
+of his feelings. I could not help putting myself in his place--I thought
+I knew how sick and flat he felt during those silences, because I
+remembered a case which came under my observation once, and which--but I
+will tell the incident:
+
+One evening on board a Mississippi steamboat, a boy of ten years lay
+asleep in a berth--a long, slim-legged boy, he was, encased in quite
+a short shirt; it was the first time he had ever made a trip on a
+steamboat, and so he was troubled, and scared, and had gone to bed
+with his head filled with impending snaggings, and explosions, and
+conflagrations, and sudden death. About ten o'clock some twenty ladies
+were sitting around about the ladies' saloon, quietly reading, sewing,
+embroidering, and so on, and among them sat a sweet, benignant old dame
+with round spectacles on her nose and her busy knitting-needles in her
+hands. Now all of a sudden, into the midst of this peaceful scene burst
+that slim-shanked boy in the brief shirt, wild-eyed, erect-haired, and
+shouting, "Fire, fire! JUMP AND RUN, THE BOAT'S AFIRE AND THERE AIN'T A
+MINUTE TO LOSE!" All those ladies looked sweetly up and smiled, nobody
+stirred, the old lady pulled her spectacles down, looked over them, and
+said, gently:
+
+"But you mustn't catch cold, child. Run and put on your breastpin, and
+then come and tell us all about it."
+
+It was a cruel chill to give to a poor little devil's gushing vehemence.
+He was expecting to be a sort of hero--the creator of a wild panic--and
+here everybody sat and smiled a mocking smile, and an old woman made fun
+of his bugbear. I turned and crept away--for I was that boy--and never
+even cared to discover whether I had dreamed the fire or actually seen
+it.
+
+
+
+I am told that in a German concert or opera, they hardly ever encore
+a song; that though they may be dying to hear it again, their good
+breeding usually preserves them against requiring the repetition.
+
+Kings may encore; that is quite another matter; it delights everybody to
+see that the King is pleased; and as to the actor encored, his pride and
+gratification are simply boundless. Still, there are circumstances in
+which even a royal encore--
+
+But it is better to illustrate. The King of Bavaria is a poet, and has a
+poet's eccentricities--with the advantage over all other poets of being
+able to gratify them, no matter what form they may take. He is fond
+of opera, but not fond of sitting in the presence of an audience;
+therefore, it has sometimes occurred, in Munich, that when an opera has
+been concluded and the players were getting off their paint and finery,
+a command has come to them to get their paint and finery on again.
+Presently the King would arrive, solitary and alone, and the players
+would begin at the beginning and do the entire opera over again with
+only that one individual in the vast solemn theater for audience. Once
+he took an odd freak into his head. High up and out of sight, over
+the prodigious stage of the court theater is a maze of interlacing
+water-pipes, so pierced that in case of fire, innumerable little
+thread-like streams of water can be caused to descend; and in case
+of need, this discharge can be augmented to a pouring flood. American
+managers might want to make a note of that. The King was sole audience.
+The opera proceeded, it was a piece with a storm in it; the mimic
+thunder began to mutter, the mimic wind began to wail and sough, and
+the mimic rain to patter. The King's interest rose higher and higher; it
+developed into enthusiasm. He cried out:
+
+"It is very, very good, indeed! But I will have real rain! Turn on the
+water!"
+
+The manager pleaded for a reversal of the command; said it would ruin
+the costly scenery and the splendid costumes, but the King cried:
+
+"No matter, no matter, I will have real rain! Turn on the water!"
+
+So the real rain was turned on and began to descend in gossamer lances
+to the mimic flower-beds and gravel walks of the stage. The richly
+dressed actresses and actors tripped about singing bravely and
+pretending not to mind it. The King was delighted--his enthusiasm grew
+higher. He cried out:
+
+"Bravo, bravo! More thunder! more lightning! turn on more rain!"
+
+
+
+The thunder boomed, the lightning glared, the storm-winds raged, the
+deluge poured down. The mimic royalty on the stage, with their soaked
+satins clinging to their bodies, slopped about ankle-deep in water,
+warbling their sweetest and best, the fiddlers under the eaves of the
+stage sawed away for dear life, with the cold overflow spouting down the
+backs of their necks, and the dry and happy King sat in his lofty box
+and wore his gloves to ribbons applauding.
+
+"More yet!" cried the King; "more yet--let loose all the thunder, turn
+on all the water! I will hang the man that raises an umbrella!"
+
+When this most tremendous and effective storm that had ever been
+produced in any theater was at last over, the King's approbation was
+measureless. He cried:
+
+"Magnificent, magnificent! ENCORE! Do it again!"
+
+But the manager succeeded in persuading him to recall the encore, and
+said the company would feel sufficiently rewarded and complimented
+in the mere fact that the encore was desired by his Majesty, without
+fatiguing him with a repetition to gratify their own vanity.
+
+During the remainder of the act the lucky performers were those whose
+parts required changes of dress; the others were a soaked, bedraggled,
+and uncomfortable lot, but in the last degree picturesque. The stage
+scenery was ruined, trap-doors were so swollen that they wouldn't work
+for a week afterward, the fine costumes were spoiled, and no end of
+minor damages were done by that remarkable storm.
+
+It was a royal idea--that storm--and royally carried out. But observe
+the moderation of the King; he did not insist upon his encore. If he had
+been a gladsome, unreflecting American opera-audience, he probably would
+have had his storm repeated and repeated until he drowned all those
+people.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+[I Paint a "Turner"]
+
+
+The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg. We had a skilled
+trainer, and under his instructions we were getting our legs in the
+right condition for the contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well
+satisfied with the progress which we had made in the German language,
+[1. See Appendix D for information concerning this fearful tongue.] and
+more than satisfied with what we had accomplished in art. We had had the
+best instructors in drawing and painting in Germany--Haemmerling, Vogel,
+Mueller, Dietz, and Schumann. Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
+Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do still-life,
+and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing course in two
+specialties--battle-pieces and shipwrecks. Whatever I am in Art I owe to
+these men. I have something of the manner of each and all of them;
+but they all said that I had also a manner of my own, and that it
+was conspicuous. They said there was a marked individuality about my
+style--insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest type of a dog, I
+should be sure to throw a something into the aspect of that dog which
+would keep him from being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
+Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings, but I could not; I
+was afraid that my masters' partiality for me, and pride in me, biased
+their judgment. So I resolved to make a test. Privately, and unknown to
+any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle Illuminated"--my
+first really important work in oils--and had it hung up in the midst
+of a wilderness of oil-pictures in the Art Exhibition, with no name
+attached to it. To my great gratification it was instantly recognized
+as mine. All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
+neighboring localities to visit it. It made more stir than any other
+work in the Exhibition. But the most gratifying thing of all was, that
+chance strangers, passing through, who had not heard of my picture, were
+not only drawn to it, as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the
+gallery, but always took it for a "Turner."
+
+
+
+Apparently nobody had ever done that. There were ruined castles on the
+overhanging cliffs and crags all the way; these were said to have their
+legends, like those on the Rhine, and what was better still, they had
+never been in print. There was nothing in the books about that lovely
+region; it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for the
+literary pioneer.
+
+Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
+walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought to us.
+A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us. We went around one
+evening and bade good-by to our friends, and afterward had a little
+farewell banquet at the hotel. We got to bed early, for we wanted to
+make an early start, so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
+
+We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh and vigorous, and took
+a hearty breakfast, then plunged down through the leafy arcades of the
+Castle grounds, toward the town. What a glorious summer morning it was,
+and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance, and how the birds did
+sing! It was just the time for a tramp through the woods and mountains.
+
+
+
+We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the sun off; gray
+knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls; leathern gaiters buttoned
+tight from knee down to ankle; high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced.
+Each man had an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung over
+his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand and a sun-umbrella
+in the other. Around our hats were wound many folds of soft white
+muslin, with the ends hanging and flapping down our backs--an idea
+brought from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe. Harris
+carried the little watch-like machine called a "pedometer," whose
+office is to keep count of a man's steps and tell how far he has walked.
+Everybody stopped to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant
+march to you!"
+
+
+
+When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to within five
+miles of Heilbronn. The train was just starting, so we jumped aboard and
+went tearing away in splendid spirits. It was agreed all around that we
+had done wisely, because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the
+Neckar as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways. There
+were some nice German people in our compartment. I got to talking some
+pretty private matters presently, and Harris became nervous; so he
+nudged me and said:
+
+"Speak in German--these Germans may understand English."
+
+I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there was not a
+German in that party who did not understand English perfectly. It is
+curious how widespread our language is in Germany. After a while some of
+those folks got out and a German gentleman and his two young daughters
+got in. I spoke in German of one of the latter several times, but
+without result. Finally she said:
+
+"ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"--or words to that effect. That
+is, "I don't understand any language but German and English."
+
+And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister spoke English.
+So after that we had all the talk we wanted; and we wanted a good deal,
+for they were agreeable people. They were greatly interested in our
+customs; especially the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
+They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we must be going
+to Switzerland or some other rugged country; and asked us if we did not
+find the walking pretty fatiguing in such warm weather. But we said no.
+
+We reached Wimpfen--I think it was Wimpfen--in about three hours, and
+got out, not the least tired; found a good hotel and ordered beer and
+dinner--then took a stroll through the venerable old village. It was
+very picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting. It had
+queer houses five hundred years old in it, and a military tower 115 feet
+high, which had stood there more than ten centuries. I made a little
+sketch of it. I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
+
+
+
+I think the original was better than the copy, because it had more
+windows in it and the grass stood up better and had a brisker look.
+There was none around the tower, though; I composed the grass myself,
+from studies I made in a field by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time. The
+man on top, looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
+he could not be made smaller, conveniently. I wanted him there, and I
+wanted him visible, so I thought out a way to manage it; I composed the
+picture from two points of view; the spectator is to observe the man
+from bout where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself from
+the ground. This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy. [Figure 2]
+
+Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses of stone--moldy
+and damaged things, bearing life-size stone figures. The two thieves
+were dressed in the fanciful court costumes of the middle of the
+sixteenth century, while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a
+cloth around the loins.
+
+We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging to the hotel
+and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke, we went to bed. We had
+a refreshing nap, then got up about three in the afternoon and put
+on our panoply. As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town, we
+overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and ends of cabbages
+and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn by a small cow and a smaller
+donkey yoked together. It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into
+Heilbronn before dark--five miles, or possibly it was seven.
+
+
+
+We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old robber-knight
+and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen, abode in after he got out of
+captivity in the Square Tower of Heilbronn between three hundred and
+fifty and four hundred years ago. Harris and I occupied the same room
+which he had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off the
+walls yet. The furniture was quaint old carved stuff, full four hundred
+years old, and some of the smells were over a thousand. There was a hook
+in the wall, which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to hang
+his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed. This room was very
+large--it might be called immense--and it was on the first floor; which
+means it was in the second story, for in Europe the houses are so
+high that they do not count the first story, else they would get tired
+climbing before they got to the top. The wallpaper was a fiery red, with
+huge gold figures in it, well smirched by time, and it covered all the
+doors. These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures of the
+paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed one had to go feeling
+and searching along the wall to find them. There was a stove in the
+corner--one of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things that
+looks like a monument and keeps you thinking of death when you ought to
+be enjoying your travels. The windows looked out on a little alley, and
+over that into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear of
+some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds in the room,
+one in one end, the other in the other, about an old-fashioned
+brass-mounted, single-barreled pistol-shot apart. They were fully
+as narrow as the usual German bed, too, and had the German bed's
+ineradicable habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time you
+forgot yourself and went to sleep.
+
+A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the center of the room;
+while the waiters were getting ready to serve our dinner on it we
+all went out to see the renowned clock on the front of the municipal
+buildings.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+[What the Wives Saved]
+
+
+The RATHHAUS, or municipal building, is of the quaintest and most
+picturesque Middle-Age architecture. It has a massive portico and steps,
+before it, heavily balustraded, and adorned with life-sized rusty iron
+knights in complete armor. The clock-face on the front of the building
+is very large and of curious pattern. Ordinarily, a gilded angel
+strikes the hour on a big bell with a hammer; as the striking ceases, a
+life-sized figure of Time raises its hour-glass and turns it; two golden
+rams advance and butt each other; a gilded cock lifts its wings; but the
+main features are two great angels, who stand on each side of the dial
+with long horns at their lips; it was said that they blew melodious
+blasts on these horns every hour--but they did not do it for us. We were
+told, later, that they blew only at night, when the town was still.
+
+Within the RATHHAUS were a number of huge wild boars' heads, preserved,
+and mounted on brackets along the wall; they bore inscriptions telling
+who killed them and how many hundred years ago it was done. One room in
+the building was devoted to the preservation of ancient archives. There
+they showed us no end of aged documents; some were signed by Popes,
+some by Tilly and other great generals, and one was a letter written and
+subscribed by Goetz von Berlichingen in Heilbronn in 1519 just after his
+release from the Square Tower.
+
+
+
+This fine old robber-knight was a devoutly and sincerely religious
+man, hospitable, charitable to the poor, fearless in fight, active,
+enterprising, and possessed of a large and generous nature. He had in
+him a quality of being able to overlook moderate injuries, and being
+able to forgive and forget mortal ones as soon as he had soundly
+trounced the authors of them. He was prompt to take up any poor devil's
+quarrel and risk his neck to right him. The common folk held him dear,
+and his memory is still green in ballad and tradition. He used to go on
+the highway and rob rich wayfarers; and other times he would swoop down
+from his high castle on the hills of the Neckar and capture passing
+cargoes of merchandise. In his memoirs he piously thanks the Giver of
+all Good for remembering him in his needs and delivering sundry such
+cargoes into his hands at times when only special providences could have
+relieved him. He was a doughty warrior and found a deep joy in battle.
+In an assault upon a stronghold in Bavaria when he was only twenty-three
+years old, his right hand was shot away, but he was so interested in the
+fight that he did not observe it for a while. He said that the iron hand
+which was made for him afterward, and which he wore for more than half a
+century, was nearly as clever a member as the fleshy one had been. I was
+glad to get a facsimile of the letter written by this fine old German
+Robin Hood, though I was not able to read it. He was a better artist
+with his sword than with his pen.
+
+We went down by the river and saw the Square Tower. It was a very
+venerable structure, very strong, and very ornamental. There was no
+opening near the ground. They had to use a ladder to get into it, no
+doubt.
+
+We visited the principal church, also--a curious old structure, with a
+towerlike spire adorned with all sorts of grotesque images. The inner
+walls of the church were placarded with large mural tablets of copper,
+bearing engraved inscriptions celebrating the merits of old Heilbronn
+worthies of two or three centuries ago, and also bearing rudely painted
+effigies of themselves and their families tricked out in the queer
+costumes of those days. The head of the family sat in the foreground,
+and beyond him extended a sharply receding and diminishing row of
+sons; facing him sat his wife, and beyond her extended a low row of
+diminishing daughters. The family was usually large, but the perspective
+bad.
+
+Then we hired the hack and the horse which Goetz von Berlichingen used
+to use, and drove several miles into the country to visit the place
+called WEIBERTREU--Wife's Fidelity I suppose it means. It was a feudal
+castle of the Middle Ages. When we reached its neighborhood we found
+it was beautifully situated, but on top of a mound, or hill, round and
+tolerably steep, and about two hundred feet high. Therefore, as the sun
+was blazing hot, we did not climb up there, but took the place on trust,
+and observed it from a distance while the horse leaned up against a
+fence and rested. The place has no interest except that which is lent it
+by its legend, which is a very pretty one--to this effect:
+
+THE LEGEND
+
+In the Middle Ages, a couple of young dukes, brothers, took opposite
+sides in one of the wars, the one fighting for the Emperor, the other
+against him. One of them owned the castle and village on top of the
+mound which I have been speaking of, and in his absence his brother
+came with his knights and soldiers and began a siege. It was a long and
+tedious business, for the people made a stubborn and faithful defense.
+But at last their supplies ran out and starvation began its work;
+more fell by hunger than by the missiles of the enemy. They by and
+by surrendered, and begged for charitable terms. But the beleaguering
+prince was so incensed against them for their long resistance that he
+said he would spare none but the women and children--all men should be
+put to the sword without exception, and all their goods destroyed. Then
+the women came and fell on their knees and begged for the lives of their
+husbands.
+
+"No," said the prince, "not a man of them shall escape alive; you
+yourselves shall go with your children into houseless and friendless
+banishment; but that you may not starve I grant you this one grace,
+that each woman may bear with her from this place as much of her most
+valuable property as she is able to carry."
+
+Very well, presently the gates swung open and out filed those women
+carrying their HUSBANDS on their shoulders. The besiegers, furious at
+the trick, rushed forward to slaughter the men, but the Duke stepped
+between and said:
+
+"No, put up your swords--a prince's word is inviolable."
+
+When we got back to the hotel, King Arthur's Round Table was ready for
+us in its white drapery, and the head waiter and his first assistant, in
+swallow-tails and white cravats, brought in the soup and the hot plates
+at once.
+
+Mr. X had ordered the dinner, and when the wine came on, he picked up
+a bottle, glanced at the label, and then turned to the grave, the
+melancholy, the sepulchral head waiter and said it was not the sort of
+wine he had asked for. The head waiter picked up the bottle, cast his
+undertaker-eye on it and said:
+
+"It is true; I beg pardon." Then he turned on his subordinate and calmly
+said, "Bring another label."
+
+
+
+At the same time he slid the present label off with his hand and laid it
+aside; it had been newly put on, its paste was still wet. When the new
+label came, he put it on; our French wine being now turned into German
+wine, according to desire, the head waiter went blandly about his other
+duties, as if the working of this sort of miracle was a common and easy
+thing to him.
+
+Mr. X said he had not known, before, that there were people honest
+enough to do this miracle in public, but he was aware that thousands
+upon thousands of labels were imported into America from Europe every
+year, to enable dealers to furnish to their customers in a quiet and
+inexpensive way all the different kinds of foreign wines they might
+require.
+
+We took a turn around the town, after dinner, and found it fully as
+interesting in the moonlight as it had been in the daytime. The streets
+were narrow and roughly paved, and there was not a sidewalk or a
+street-lamp anywhere. The dwellings were centuries old, and vast enough
+for hotels. They widened all the way up; the stories projected further
+and further forward and aside as they ascended, and the long rows
+of lighted windows, filled with little bits of panes, curtained with
+figured white muslin and adorned outside with boxes of flowers, made a
+pretty effect.
+
+
+
+The moon was bright, and the light and shadow very strong; and nothing
+could be more picturesque than those curving streets, with their rows
+of huge high gables leaning far over toward each other in a friendly
+gossiping way, and the crowds below drifting through the alternating
+blots of gloom and mellow bars of moonlight. Nearly everybody was
+abroad, chatting, singing, romping, or massed in lazy comfortable
+attitudes in the doorways.
+
+In one place there was a public building which was fenced about with a
+thick, rusty chain, which sagged from post to post in a succession of
+low swings. The pavement, here, was made of heavy blocks of stone. In
+the glare of the moon a party of barefooted children were swinging on
+those chains and having a noisy good time. They were not the first ones
+who have done that; even their great-great-grandfathers had not been the
+first to do it when they were children. The strokes of the bare feet
+had worn grooves inches deep in the stone flags; it had taken many
+generations of swinging children to accomplish that.
+
+
+
+Everywhere in the town were the mold and decay that go with antiquity,
+and evidence of it; but I do not know that anything else gave us so
+vivid a sense of the old age of Heilbronn as those footworn grooves in
+the paving-stones.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+[My Long Crawl in the Dark]
+
+
+When we got back to the hotel I wound and set the pedometer and put
+it in my pocket, for I was to carry it next day and keep record of the
+miles we made. The work which we had given the instrument to do during
+the day which had just closed had not fatigued it perceptibly.
+
+We were in bed by ten, for we wanted to be up and away on our tramp
+homeward with the dawn. I hung fire, but Harris went to sleep at once.
+I hate a man who goes to sleep at once; there is a sort of indefinable
+something about it which is not exactly an insult, and yet is an
+insolence; and one which is hard to bear, too. I lay there fretting
+over this injury, and trying to go to sleep; but the harder I tried, the
+wider awake I grew. I got to feeling very lonely in the dark, with no
+company but an undigested dinner. My mind got a start by and by, and
+began to consider the beginning of every subject which has ever been
+thought of; but it never went further than the beginning; it was touch
+and go; it fled from topic to topic with a frantic speed. At the end of
+an hour my head was in a perfect whirl and I was dead tired, fagged out.
+
+The fatigue was so great that it presently began to make some head
+against the nervous excitement; while imagining myself wide awake, I
+would really doze into momentary unconsciousness, and come suddenly out
+of it with a physical jerk which nearly wrenched my joints apart--the
+delusion of the instant being that I was tumbling backward over a
+precipice. After I had fallen over eight or nine precipices and thus
+found out that one half of my brain had been asleep eight or nine times
+without the wide-awake, hard-working other half suspecting it, the
+periodical unconsciousnesses began to extend their spell gradually over
+more of my brain-territory, and at last I sank into a drowse which grew
+deeper and deeper and was doubtless just on the very point of being a
+solid, blessed dreamless stupor, when--what was that?
+
+My dulled faculties dragged themselves partly back to life and took a
+receptive attitude. Now out of an immense, a limitless distance, came
+a something which grew and grew, and approached, and presently was
+recognizable as a sound--it had rather seemed to be a feeling, before.
+This sound was a mile away, now--perhaps it was the murmur of a storm;
+and now it was nearer--not a quarter of a mile away; was it the muffled
+rasping and grinding of distant machinery? No, it came still nearer; was
+it the measured tramp of a marching troop? But it came nearer still,
+and still nearer--and at last it was right in the room: it was merely
+a mouse gnawing the woodwork. So I had held my breath all that time for
+such a trifle.
+
+
+
+Well, what was done could not be helped; I would go to sleep at once and
+make up the lost time. That was a thoughtless thought. Without intending
+it--hardly knowing it--I fell to listening intently to that sound, and
+even unconsciously counting the strokes of the mouse's nutmeg-grater.
+Presently I was deriving exquisite suffering from this employment, yet
+maybe I could have endured it if the mouse had attended steadily to
+his work; but he did not do that; he stopped every now and then, and I
+suffered more while waiting and listening for him to begin again than
+I did while he was gnawing. Along at first I was mentally offering a
+reward of five--six--seven--ten--dollars for that mouse; but toward
+the last I was offering rewards which were entirely beyond my means. I
+close-reefed my ears--that is to say, I bent the flaps of them down
+and furled them into five or six folds, and pressed them against the
+hearing-orifice--but it did no good: the faculty was so sharpened
+by nervous excitement that it was become a microphone and could hear
+through the overlays without trouble.
+
+My anger grew to a frenzy. I finally did what all persons before me have
+done, clear back to Adam,--resolved to throw something. I reached down
+and got my walking-shoes, then sat up in bed and listened, in order to
+exactly locate the noise. But I couldn't do it; it was as unlocatable as
+a cricket's noise; and where one thinks that that is, is always the very
+place where it isn't. So I presently hurled a shoe at random, and with
+a vicious vigor. It struck the wall over Harris's head and fell down on
+him; I had not imagined I could throw so far. It woke Harris, and I was
+glad of it until I found he was not angry; then I was sorry. He soon
+went to sleep again, which pleased me; but straightway the mouse began
+again, which roused my temper once more. I did not want to wake Harris
+a second time, but the gnawing continued until I was compelled to throw
+the other shoe.
+
+
+
+This time I broke a mirror--there were two in the room--I got the
+largest one, of course. Harris woke again, but did not complain, and
+I was sorrier than ever. I resolved that I would suffer all possible
+torture before I would disturb him a third time.
+
+The mouse eventually retired, and by and by I was sinking to sleep, when
+a clock began to strike; I counted till it was done, and was about to
+drowse again when another clock began; I counted; then the two great
+RATHHAUS clock angels began to send forth soft, rich, melodious blasts
+from their long trumpets. I had never heard anything that was so lovely,
+or weird, or mysterious--but when they got to blowing the quarter-hours,
+they seemed to me to be overdoing the thing. Every time I dropped
+off for the moment, a new noise woke me. Each time I woke I missed my
+coverlet, and had to reach down to the floor and get it again.
+
+At last all sleepiness forsook me. I recognized the fact that I was
+hopelessly and permanently wide awake. Wide awake, and feverish and
+thirsty. When I had lain tossing there as long as I could endure it, it
+occurred to me that it would be a good idea to dress and go out in the
+great square and take a refreshing wash in the fountain, and smoke and
+reflect there until the remnant of the night was gone.
+
+I believed I could dress in the dark without waking Harris. I had
+banished my shoes after the mouse, but my slippers would do for a summer
+night. So I rose softly, and gradually got on everything--down to one
+sock. I couldn't seem to get on the track of that sock, any way I could
+fix it. But I had to have it; so I went down on my hands and knees, with
+one slipper on and the other in my hand, and began to paw gently around
+and rake the floor, but with no success. I enlarged my circle, and went
+on pawing and raking. With every pressure of my knee, how the floor
+creaked! and every time I chanced to rake against any article, it seemed
+to give out thirty-five or thirty-six times more noise than it would
+have done in the daytime. In those cases I always stopped and held
+my breath till I was sure Harris had not awakened--then I crept along
+again. I moved on and on, but I could not find the sock; I could not
+seem to find anything but furniture. I could not remember that there was
+much furniture in the room when I went to bed, but the place was alive
+with it now --especially chairs--chairs everywhere--had a couple of
+families moved in, in the mean time? And I never could seem to GLANCE on
+one of those chairs, but always struck it full and square with my head.
+My temper rose, by steady and sure degrees, and as I pawed on and on, I
+fell to making vicious comments under my breath.
+
+
+
+Finally, with a venomous access of irritation, I said I would leave
+without the sock; so I rose up and made straight for the door--as I
+supposed--and suddenly confronted my dim spectral image in the unbroken
+mirror. It startled the breath out of me, for an instant; it also showed
+me that I was lost, and had no sort of idea where I was. When I realized
+this, I was so angry that I had to sit down on the floor and take hold
+of something to keep from lifting the roof off with an explosion of
+opinion. If there had been only one mirror, it might possibly have
+helped to locate me; but there were two, and two were as bad as a
+thousand; besides, these were on opposite sides of the room. I could see
+the dim blur of the windows, but in my turned-around condition they were
+exactly where they ought not to be, and so they only confused me instead
+of helping me.
+
+I started to get up, and knocked down an umbrella; it made a noise
+like a pistol-shot when it struck that hard, slick, carpetless floor;
+I grated my teeth and held my breath--Harris did not stir. I set the
+umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall, but as soon as
+I took my hand away, its heel slipped from under it, and down it came
+again with another bang. I shrunk together and listened a moment in
+silent fury--no harm done, everything quiet. With the most painstaking
+care and nicety, I stood the umbrella up once more, took my hand away,
+and down it came again.
+
+I have been strictly reared, but if it had not been so dark and solemn
+and awful there in that lonely, vast room, I do believe I should have
+said something then which could not be put into a Sunday-school book
+without injuring the sale of it. If my reasoning powers had not been
+already sapped dry by my harassments, I would have known better than to
+try to set an umbrella on end on one of those glassy German floors in
+the dark; it can't be done in the daytime without four failures to one
+success. I had one comfort, though--Harris was yet still and silent--he
+had not stirred.
+
+The umbrella could not locate me--there were four standing around the
+room, and all alike. I thought I would feel along the wall and find the
+door in that way. I rose up and began this operation, but raked down
+a picture. It was not a large one, but it made noise enough for a
+panorama. Harris gave out no sound, but I felt that if I experimented
+any further with the pictures I should be sure to wake him. Better give
+up trying to get out. Yes, I would find King Arthur's Round Table once
+more--I had already found it several times--and use it for a base of
+departure on an exploring tour for my bed; if I could find my bed I
+could then find my water pitcher; I would quench my raging thirst and
+turn in. So I started on my hands and knees, because I could go faster
+that way, and with more confidence, too, and not knock down things. By
+and by I found the table--with my head--rubbed the bruise a little, then
+rose up and started, with hands abroad and fingers spread, to balance
+myself. I found a chair; then a wall; then another chair; then a sofa;
+then an alpenstock, then another sofa; this confounded me, for I had
+thought there was only one sofa. I hunted up the table again and took a
+fresh start; found some more chairs.
+
+It occurred to me, now, as it ought to have done before, that as the
+table was round, it was therefore of no value as a base to aim from; so
+I moved off once more, and at random among the wilderness of chairs and
+sofas--wandering off into unfamiliar regions, and presently knocked a
+candlestick and knocked off a lamp, grabbed at the lamp and knocked
+off a water pitcher with a rattling crash, and thought to myself,
+"I've found you at last--I judged I was close upon you." Harris shouted
+"murder," and "thieves," and finished with "I'm absolutely drowned."
+
+The crash had roused the house. Mr. X pranced in, in his long
+night-garment, with a candle, young Z after him with another candle; a
+procession swept in at another door, with candles and lanterns--landlord
+and two German guests in their nightgowns and a chambermaid in hers.
+
+I looked around; I was at Harris's bed, a Sabbath-day's journey from my
+own. There was only one sofa; it was against the wall; there was only
+one chair where a body could get at it--I had been revolving around it
+like a planet, and colliding with it like a comet half the night.
+
+
+
+I explained how I had been employing myself, and why. Then the
+landlord's party left, and the rest of us set about our preparations for
+breakfast, for the dawn was ready to break. I glanced furtively at my
+pedometer, and found I had made 47 miles. But I did not care, for I had
+come out for a pedestrian tour anyway.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+[Rafting Down the Neckar]
+
+
+When the landlord learned that I and my agents were artists, our party
+rose perceptibly in his esteem; we rose still higher when he learned
+that we were making a pedestrian tour of Europe.
+
+He told us all about the Heidelberg road, and which were the best places
+to avoid and which the best ones to tarry at; he charged me less than
+cost for the things I broke in the night; he put up a fine luncheon
+for us and added to it a quantity of great light-green plums, the
+pleasantest fruit in Germany; he was so anxious to do us honor that he
+would not allow us to walk out of Heilbronn, but called up Goetz von
+Berlichingen's horse and cab and made us ride.
+
+I made a sketch of the turnout. It is not a Work, it is only what
+artists call a "study"--a thing to make a finished picture from. This
+sketch has several blemishes in it; for instance, the wagon is not
+traveling as fast as the horse is. This is wrong. Again, the person
+trying to get out of the way is too small; he is out of perspective,
+as we say. The two upper lines are not the horse's back, they are the
+reigns; there seems to be a wheel missing--this would be corrected in a
+finished Work, of course. This thing flying out behind is not a flag,
+it is a curtain. That other thing up there is the sun, but I didn't get
+enough distance on it. I do not remember, now, what that thing is that
+is in front of the man who is running, but I think it is a haystack or a
+woman. This study was exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1879, but did not
+take any medal; they do not give medals for studies.
+
+
+
+We discharged the carriage at the bridge. The river was full of
+logs--long, slender, barkless pine logs--and we leaned on the rails
+of the bridge, and watched the men put them together into rafts. These
+rafts were of a shape and construction to suit the crookedness and
+extreme narrowness of the Neckar. They were from fifty to one hundred
+yards long, and they gradually tapered from a nine-log breadth at their
+sterns, to a three-log breadth at their bow-ends. The main part of the
+steering is done at the bow, with a pole; the three-log breadth there
+furnishes room for only the steersman, for these little logs are not
+larger around than an average young lady's waist. The connections of the
+several sections of the raft are slack and pliant, so that the raft
+may be readily bent into any sort of curve required by the shape of the
+river.
+
+The Neckar is in many places so narrow that a person can throw a dog
+across it, if he has one; when it is also sharply curved in such places,
+the raftsman has to do some pretty nice snug piloting to make the turns.
+The river is not always allowed to spread over its whole bed--which is
+as much as thirty, and sometimes forty yards wide--but is split into
+three equal bodies of water, by stone dikes which throw the main
+volume, depth, and current into the central one. In low water these neat
+narrow-edged dikes project four or five inches above the surface, like
+the comb of a submerged roof, but in high water they are overflowed. A
+hatful of rain makes high water in the Neckar, and a basketful produces
+an overflow.
+
+There are dikes abreast the Schloss Hotel, and the current is violently
+swift at that point. I used to sit for hours in my glass cage, watching
+the long, narrow rafts slip along through the central channel, grazing
+the right-bank dike and aiming carefully for the middle arch of the
+stone bridge below; I watched them in this way, and lost all this time
+hoping to see one of them hit the bridge-pier and wreck itself sometime
+or other, but was always disappointed. One was smashed there one
+morning, but I had just stepped into my room a moment to light a pipe,
+so I lost it.
+
+While I was looking down upon the rafts that morning in Heilbronn, the
+daredevil spirit of adventure came suddenly upon me, and I said to my
+comrades:
+
+"I am going to Heidelberg on a raft. Will you venture with me?"
+
+Their faces paled a little, but they assented with as good a grace as
+they could. Harris wanted to cable his mother--thought it his duty to
+do that, as he was all she had in this world--so, while he attended to
+this, I went down to the longest and finest raft and hailed the captain
+with a hearty "Ahoy, shipmate!" which put us upon pleasant terms at
+once, and we entered upon business. I said we were on a pedestrian tour
+to Heidelberg, and would like to take passage with him. I said this
+partly through young Z, who spoke German very well, and partly through
+Mr. X, who spoke it peculiarly. I can UNDERSTAND German as well as the
+maniac that invented it, but I TALK it best through an interpreter.
+
+The captain hitched up his trousers, then shifted his quid thoughtfully.
+Presently he said just what I was expecting he would say--that he had no
+license to carry passengers, and therefore was afraid the law would be
+after him in case the matter got noised about or any accident happened.
+So I CHARTERED the raft and the crew and took all the responsibilities
+on myself.
+
+
+
+With a rattling song the starboard watch bent to their work and hove
+the cable short, then got the anchor home, and our bark moved off with a
+stately stride, and soon was bowling along at about two knots an hour.
+
+Our party were grouped amidships. At first the talk was a little gloomy,
+and ran mainly upon the shortness of life, the uncertainty of it, the
+perils which beset it, and the need and wisdom of being always prepared
+for the worst; this shaded off into low-voiced references to the dangers
+of the deep, and kindred matters; but as the gray east began to redden
+and the mysterious solemnity and silence of the dawn to give place
+to the joy-songs of the birds, the talk took a cheerier tone, and our
+spirits began to rise steadily.
+
+Germany, in the summer, is the perfection of the beautiful, but nobody
+has understood, and realized, and enjoyed the utmost possibilities of
+this soft and peaceful beauty unless he has voyaged down the Neckar on
+a raft. The motion of a raft is the needful motion; it is gentle,
+and gliding, and smooth, and noiseless; it calms down all feverish
+activities, it soothes to sleep all nervous hurry and impatience; under
+its restful influence all the troubles and vexations and sorrows that
+harass the mind vanish away, and existence becomes a dream, a charm,
+a deep and tranquil ecstasy. How it contrasts with hot and perspiring
+pedestrianism, and dusty and deafening railroad rush, and tedious
+jolting behind tired horses over blinding white roads!
+
+We went slipping silently along, between the green and fragrant banks,
+with a sense of pleasure and contentment that grew, and grew, all the
+time. Sometimes the banks were overhung with thick masses of willows
+that wholly hid the ground behind; sometimes we had noble hills on one
+hand, clothed densely with foliage to their tops, and on the other hand
+open levels blazing with poppies, or clothed in the rich blue of
+the corn-flower; sometimes we drifted in the shadow of forests, and
+sometimes along the margin of long stretches of velvety grass, fresh and
+green and bright, a tireless charm to the eye. And the birds!--they were
+everywhere; they swept back and forth across the river constantly, and
+their jubilant music was never stilled.
+
+It was a deep and satisfying pleasure to see the sun create the new
+morning, and gradually, patiently, lovingly, clothe it on with splendor
+after splendor, and glory after glory, till the miracle was complete.
+How different is this marvel observed from a raft, from what it is when
+one observes it through the dingy windows of a railway-station in some
+wretched village while he munches a petrified sandwich and waits for the
+train.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>A TRAMP ABROAD, BY MARK TWAIN, Part 2</title>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
+
+<style type="text/css">
+    <!--
+		body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent:   1em;
+        margin-top:    .75em;
+        margin-bottom: .75em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+    HR  { width: 33%; text-align: center; }
+		blockquote {font-size: 97% }
+		.figleft   {float: left;}
+    .figright  {float: right;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+    CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+    -->
+</style>
+
+</head>
+<body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 2
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 2004 [EBook #5783]
+Posting: June 2, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+<h2>A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3>
+<tr><td>
+
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5782/5782-h/5782-h.htm">Previous Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+</td><td>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5784/5784-h/5784-h.htm">Next Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<center><a name="cover"></a><img alt="cover.jpg (229K)" src="images/cover.jpg" height="745" width="652">
+</center>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="Portrait"></a><img alt="Portrait.jpg (45K)" src="images/Portrait.jpg" height="1051" width="605">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Moses"></a><img alt="Moses.jpg (86K)" src="images/Moses.jpg" height="949" width="565">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Titlepage"></a><img alt="Titlepage.jpg (41K)" src="images/Titlepage.jpg" height="1029" width="645">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+                   <center> <h1>A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2</h1>
+
+                     <h2>By Mark Twain</h2>
+                  <h3>(Samuel L. Clemens)</h3>
+
+                <h3>First published in 1880</h3>
+
+								<h3>Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition</h3>
+
+                      * * * * * *
+</center>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS:</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+<tr><td>
+
+
+<br>
+1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Portrait">PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR</a><br>
+2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Moses">TITIAN'S MOSES</a><br>
+3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p016">THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES</a><br>
+32.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p070">FRENCH CALM</a> <br>
+33.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p071">THE CHALLENGE ACCEPTED</a> <br>
+34.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p072">A SEARCH</a><br>
+35.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p073">HE SWOONED PONDEROUSLY</a> <br>
+36.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p074">I ROLLED HIM OVER</a> <br>
+37.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p075">THE ONE I HIRED</a> <br>
+36.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p077">THE MARCH TO THE FIELD</a> <br>
+39.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p080">THE POST OF DANGER</a> <br>
+40.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p081">THE RECONCILIATION</a> <br>
+41.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p082">AN OBJECT OF ADMIRATION</a> <br>
+42.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p084a">WAGNER</a> <br>
+43.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p084b">RAGING</a> <br>
+44.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p085a">ROARING</a> <br>
+45.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p085b">SHRIEKING</a> <br>
+46.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p086">A CUSTOMARY THING</a> <br>
+47.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p087">ONE OF THE "REST"</a> <br>
+48.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p088">A CONTRIBUTION BOX</a> <br>
+49.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p089">CONSPICUOUS</a> <br>
+50.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p089b">TAIL PIECE</a><br>
+51.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p091">ONLY A SHRIEK</a> <br>
+52.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p092">"HE ONLY CRY"</a> <br>
+53.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p094">LATE COMERS CARED FOR</a> <br>
+54.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p096">EVIDENTLY DREAMING</a> <br>
+55.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p098">"TURN ON MORE RAIN"</a> <br>
+56.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p099">HARRIS ATTENDING THE OPERA</a> <br>
+57.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p101">PAINTING MY GREAT PICTURE</a><br>
+58.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p103">OUR START</a> <br>
+59.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p104">AN UNKNOWN COSTUME</a> <br>
+60.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p105a">THE TOWER</a> <br>
+61.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p105b">SLOW BUT SURE</a> <br>
+62.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p109">THE ROBBER CHIEF</a> <br>
+63.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p111">AN HONEST MAN</a> <br>
+64.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p112">THE TOWN BY NIGHT</a> <br>
+65.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p113">GENERATIONS OF BAREFEET</a> <br>
+66.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p115">OUR BEDROOM</a> <br>
+67.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p117">PRACTICING</a> <br>
+68.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p118">PAWING AROUND</a><br>
+69.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p121">A NIGHT'S WORK</a> <br>
+70.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p123">LEAVING HEILBRONN</a> <br>
+71.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p125">THE CAPTAIN</a> <br>
+72.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p127">WAITING FOR THE TRAIN</a> <br>
+<br>
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+<h2>CONTENTS:</h2>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<a href="#ch8">CHAPTER VIII</a>
+<br>
+The Great French Duel&mdash;Mistaken Notions&mdash;Outbreak in the French
+Assembly&mdash;Calmness of M Gambetta&mdash;I Volunteer as
+Second&mdash;Drawing up a Will&mdash;The Challenge and its Acceptance&mdash;Difficulty
+in Selection of Weapons&mdash;Deciding on Distance&mdash;M. Gambetta's
+Firmness&mdash;Arranging Details&mdash;Hiring Hearses&mdash;How it was Kept
+from the Press&mdash;March to the Field&mdash;The Post of Danger&mdash;The
+Duel&mdash;The Result&mdash;General Rejoicings&mdash;The only One
+Hurt&mdash;A Firm Resolution
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch9">CHAPTER IX</a>
+<br>
+At the Theatre&mdash;German Ideal&mdash;At the Opera&mdash;The
+Orchestra&mdash;Howlings and Wailings&mdash;A Curious Play&mdash;One Season of Rest&mdash;The
+Wedding Chorus&mdash;Germans fond of the Opera&mdash;Funerals
+Needed &mdash;A Private Party&mdash;What I Overheard&mdash;A Gentle
+Girl&mdash;A Contribution&mdash;box&mdash;Unpleasantly Conspicuous
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch10">CHAPTER X</a>
+<br>
+Four Hours with Wagner&mdash;A Wonderful Singer, Once&mdash;" Only a
+Shriek"&mdash;An Ancient Vocalist&mdash;"He Only Cry"&mdash;Emotional
+Germans&mdash;A Wise Custom&mdash;Late Comers Rebuked&mdash;Heard to the
+Last&mdash;No Interruptions Allowed&mdash;A Royal Audience&mdash;An Eccentric
+King&mdash;Real Rain and More of It&mdash;Immense Success&mdash;"Encore!
+Encore!"&mdash;Magnanimity of the King
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch11">CHAPTER XI</a>
+<br>
+Lessons in Art&mdash;My Great Picture of Heidelberg Castle&mdash;Its Effect in the
+Exhibition&mdash;Mistaken for a Turner&mdash;A Studio&mdash;Waiting for
+Orders&mdash;A Tramp Decided On&mdash;The Start for Heilbronn&mdash;Our Walking
+Dress&mdash;"Pleasant march to you"&mdash;We Take the Rail&mdash;German
+People on Board&mdash;Not Understood&mdash;Speak only German and
+English&mdash;Wimpfen&mdash;A Funny Tower&mdash;Dinner in the Garden&mdash;Vigorous
+Tramping&mdash;Ride in a Peasant's Cart&mdash;A Famous Room
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch12">CHAPTER XII</a>
+<br>
+The Rathhaus&mdash;An Old Robber Knight, Gotz Von Berlichingen&mdash;His
+Famous Deeds&mdash;The Square Tower&mdash;A Curious old
+Church&mdash;A Gay Turn&mdash;out&mdash;A Legend&mdash;The Wives' Treasures&mdash;A Model
+Waiter&mdash;A Miracle Performed&mdash;An Old Town&mdash;The Worn Stones
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch13">CHAPTER XIII</a>
+<br>
+Early to Bed&mdash;Lonesome&mdash;Nervous Excitement&mdash;The Room We
+Occupied&mdash;Disturbed by a Mouse&mdash;Grow Desperate&mdash;The
+Old Remedy&mdash;A Shoe Thrown&mdash;Result&mdash;Hopelessly Awake&mdash;An Attempt to
+Dress&mdash;A Cruise in the Dark&mdash;Crawling on the Floor&mdash;A General
+Smash-up&mdash;Forty-seven Miles' Travel
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch14">CHAPTER XIV</a>
+<br>
+A Famous Turn&mdash;out&mdash;Raftsmen on the Neckar&mdash;The Log Rafts&mdash;The
+Neckar&mdash;A Sudden Idea&mdash;To Heidelberg on a Raft&mdash;Chartering a
+Raft&mdash;Gloomy Feelings and Conversation&mdash;Delicious
+Journeying&mdash;View of the Banks&mdash;Compared with Railroading
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="p016"></a><img alt="p016.jpg (82K)" src="images/p016.jpg" height="817" width="535">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+
+<a name="ch8"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
+<h3>The Great French Duel</h3>
+<h3>[I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain
+smart people, it is in reality one of the most dangerous
+institutions of our day.  Since it is always fought in the
+open air, the combatants are nearly sure to catch cold.
+M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French
+duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at
+last a confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris
+has expressed the opinion that if he goes on dueling for
+fifteen or twenty years more&mdash;unless he forms the habit
+of fighting in a comfortable room where damps and draughts
+cannot intrude&mdash;he will eventually endanger his life.
+This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are
+so stubborn in maintaining that the French duel is the
+most health-giving of recreations because of the open-air
+exercise it affords.  And it ought also to moderate that
+foolish talk about French duelists and socialist-hated
+monarchs being the only people who are immoral.
+
+<p>But it is time to get at my subject.  As soon as I heard
+of the late fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou
+in the French Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow.
+I knew it because a long personal friendship with
+M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and implacable
+nature of the man.  Vast as are his physical proportions,
+I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate
+to the remotest frontiers of his person.
+
+<p>I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once
+to him.  As I had expected, I found the brave fellow
+steeped in a profound French calm.  I say French calm,
+because French calmness and English calmness have points
+of difference.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p070"></a><img alt="p070.jpg (13K)" src="images/p070.jpg" height="385" width="303">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>He was moving swiftly back and forth
+among the debris of his furniture, now and then staving
+chance fragments of it across the room with his foot;
+grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth;
+and halting every little while to deposit another handful
+of his hair on the pile which he had been building of it on
+the table.
+
+<p>He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach
+to his breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four
+or five times, and then placed me in his own arm-chair.
+As soon as I had got well again, we began business at once.
+
+<p>I said I supposed he would wish me to act as his second,
+and he said, "Of course." I said I must be allowed
+to act under a French name, so that I might be shielded
+from obloquy in my country, in case of fatal results.
+He winced here, probably at the suggestion that dueling was
+not regarded with respect in America.  However, he agreed
+to my requirement.  This accounts for the fact that in all
+the newspaper reports M. Gambetta's second was apparently
+a Frenchman.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p071"></a><img alt="p071.jpg (9K)" src="images/p071.jpg" height="287" width="253">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>First, we drew up my principal's will.  I insisted upon this,
+and stuck to my point.  I said I had never heard of a man
+in his right mind going out to fight a duel without
+first making his will.  He said he had never heard
+of a man in his right mind doing anything of the kind.
+When he had finished the will, he wished to proceed
+to a choice of his "last words." He wanted to know
+how the following words, as a dying exclamation, struck me:
+
+<p>"I die for my God, for my country, for freedom of speech,
+for progress, and the universal brotherhood of man!"
+
+<p>I objected that this would require too lingering a death;
+it was a good speech for a consumptive, but not suited
+to the exigencies of the field of honor.  We wrangled
+over a good many ante-mortem outbursts, but I finally got
+him to cut his obituary down to this, which he copied
+into his memorandum-book, purposing to get it by heart:
+
+<p>"I DIE THAT FRANCE MIGHT LIVE."
+
+<p>I said that this remark seemed to lack relevancy; but he
+said relevancy was a matter of no consequence in last words,
+what you wanted was thrill.
+
+<p>The next thing in order was the choice of weapons.
+My principal said he was not feeling well, and would leave
+that and the other details of the proposed meeting to me.
+Therefore I wrote the following note and carried it to
+M. Fourtou's friend:
+
+<p>Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge,
+and authorizes me to propose Plessis-Piquet as the place
+of meeting; tomorrow morning at daybreak as the time;
+and axes as the weapons.
+
+<p>I am, sir, with great respect,
+
+<p>Mark Twain.
+
+<p>M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered.
+Then he turned to me, and said, with a suggestion of
+severity in his tone:
+
+<p>"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable
+result of such a meeting as this?"
+
+<p>"Well, for instance, what WOULD it be?"
+
+<p>"Bloodshed!"
+
+<p>"That's about the size of it," I said.  "Now, if it is
+a fair question, what was your side proposing to shed?"
+
+<p>I had him there.  He saw he had made a blunder, so he hastened
+to explain it away.  He said he had spoken jestingly.
+Then he added that he and his principal would enjoy axes,
+and indeed prefer them, but such weapons were barred
+by the French code, and so I must change my proposal.
+
+<p>I walked the floor, turning the thing over in my mind,
+and finally it occurred to me that Gatling-guns at fifteen
+paces would be a likely way to get a verdict on the field
+of honor.  So I framed this idea into a proposition.
+
+<p>But it was not accepted.  The code was in the way again.
+I proposed rifles; then double-barreled shotguns;
+then Colt's navy revolvers.  These being all rejected,
+I reflected awhile, and sarcastically suggested brickbats
+at three-quarters of a mile.  I always hate to fool away
+a humorous thing on a person who has no perception of humor;
+and it filled me with bitterness when this man went soberly
+away to submit the last proposition to his principal.
+
+<p>He came back presently and said his principal was charmed
+with the idea of brickbats at three-quarters of a mile,
+but must decline on account of the danger to disinterested
+parties passing between them.  Then I said:
+
+<p>"Well, I am at the end of my string, now.  Perhaps YOU
+would be good enough to suggest a weapon? Perhaps you
+have even had one in your mind all the time?"
+
+<p>His countenance brightened, and he said with alacrity:
+
+<p>"Oh, without doubt, monsieur!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p072"></a><img alt="p072.jpg (7K)" src="images/p072.jpg" height="329" width="123">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>So he fell to hunting in his pockets&mdash;pocket after pocket,
+and he had plenty of them&mdash;muttering all the while,
+"Now, what could I have done with them?"
+
+<p>At last he was successful.  He fished out of his vest pocket
+a couple of little things which I carried to the light
+and ascertained to be pistols.  They were single-barreled
+and silver-mounted, and very dainty and pretty.
+I was not able to speak for emotion.  I silently hung
+one of them on my watch-chain, and returned the other.
+My companion in crime now unrolled a postage-stamp
+containing several cartridges, and gave me one of them.
+I asked if he meant to signify by this that our men were
+to be allowed but one shot apiece.  He replied that the
+French code permitted no more.  I then begged him to go
+and suggest a distance, for my mind was growing weak
+and confused under the strain which had been put upon it.
+He named sixty-five yards.  I nearly lost my patience.
+I said:
+
+<p>"Sixty-five yards, with these instruments? Squirt-guns
+would be deadlier at fifty.  Consider, my friend,
+you and I are banded together to destroy life, not make
+it eternal."
+
+<p>But with all my persuasions, all my arguments, I was only
+able to get him to reduce the distance to thirty-five yards;
+and even this concession he made with reluctance,
+and said with a sigh, "I wash my hands of this slaughter;
+on your head be it."
+
+<p>There was nothing for me but to go home to my old
+lion-heart and tell my humiliating story.  When I entered,
+M. Gambetta was laying his last lock of hair upon the altar.
+He sprang toward me, exclaiming:
+
+<p>"You have made the fatal arrangements&mdash;I see it in your eye!"
+
+<p>"I have."
+
+<p>His face paled a trifle, and he leaned upon the table
+for support.  He breathed thick and heavily for a moment
+or two, so tumultuous were his feelings; then he hoarsely
+whispered:
+
+<p>"The weapon, the weapon! Quick! what is the weapon?"
+
+<p>"This!" and I displayed that silver-mounted thing.
+He cast but one glance at it, then swooned ponderously
+to the floor.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p073"></a><img alt="p073.jpg (12K)" src="images/p073.jpg" height="227" width="359">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When he came to, he said mournfully:
+
+<p>"The unnatural calm to which I have subjected myself
+has told upon my nerves.  But away with weakness!
+I will confront my fate like a man and a Frenchman."
+
+<p>He rose to his feet, and assumed an attitude which
+for sublimity has never been approached by man,
+and has seldom been surpassed by statues.  Then he said,
+in his deep bass tones:
+
+<p>"Behold, I am calm, I am ready; reveal to me the distance."
+
+<p>"Thirty-five yards." ...
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p074"></a><img alt="p074.jpg (6K)" src="images/p074.jpg" height="183" width="329">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I could not lift him up, of course; but I rolled him over,
+and poured water down his back.  He presently came to,
+and said:
+
+<p>"Thirty-five yards&mdash;without a rest? But why ask? Since
+murder was that man's intention, why should he palter
+with small details? But mark you one thing: in my fall
+the world shall see how the chivalry of France meets death."
+
+<p>After a long silence he asked:
+
+<p>"Was nothing said about that man's family standing
+up with him, as an offset to my bulk? But no matter;
+I would not stoop to make such a suggestion; if he is
+not noble enough to suggest it himself, he is welcome
+to this advantage, which no honorable man would take."
+
+<p>He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection,
+which lasted some minutes; after which he broke silence with:
+
+<p>"The hour&mdash;what is the hour fixed for the collision?"
+
+<p>"Dawn, tomorrow."
+
+<p>He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:
+
+<p>"Insanity! I never heard of such a thing.  Nobody is
+abroad at such an hour."
+
+<p>"That is the reason I named it.  Do you mean to say you
+want an audience?"
+
+<p>"It is no time to bandy words.  I am astonished that M. Fourtou
+should ever have agreed to so strange an innovation.
+Go at once and require a later hour."
+
+<p>I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost
+plunged into the arms of M. Fourtou's second.  He said:
+
+<p>"I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously
+objects to the hour chosen, and begs you will consent
+to change it to half past nine."
+
+<p>"Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend
+is at the service of your excellent principal.  We agree
+to the proposed change of time."
+
+<p>"I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he
+turned to a person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir,
+the hour is altered to half past nine."  Whereupon
+M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went away.
+My accomplice continued:
+
+<p>"If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall
+proceed to the field in the same carriage as is customary."
+
+<p>"It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged
+to you for mentioning the surgeons, for I am afraid
+I should not have thought of them.  How many shall
+I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"
+
+<p>"Two is the customary number for each party.  I refer
+to 'chief' surgeons; but considering the exalted positions
+occupied by our clients, it will be well and decorous
+that each of us appoint several consulting surgeons,
+from among the highest in the profession.  These will
+come in their own private carriages.  Have you engaged
+a hearse?"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p075"></a><img alt="p075.jpg (11K)" src="images/p075.jpg" height="191" width="419">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend
+to it right away.  I must seem very ignorant to you;
+but you must try to overlook that, because I have never
+had any experience of such a swell duel as this before.
+I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific coast,
+but I see now that they were crude affairs.  A hearse&mdash;sho!
+we used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let
+anybody cord them up and cart them off that wanted to.
+Have you anything further to suggest?"
+
+<p>"Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together,
+as is usual.  The subordinates and mutes will go on foot,
+as is also usual.  I will see you at eight o'clock
+in the morning, and we will then arrange the order
+of the procession.  I have the honor to bid you a good day."
+
+<p>I returned to my client, who said, "Very well;
+at what hour is the engagement to begin?"
+
+<p>"Half past nine."
+
+<p>"Very good indeed. Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"
+
+<p>"SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can
+for a moment deem me capable of so base a treachery&mdash;"
+
+<p>"Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I
+wounded you? Ah, forgive me; I am overloading you with labor.
+Therefore go on with the other details, and drop this
+one from your list.  The bloody-minded Fourtou will be
+sure to attend to it.  Or I myself&mdash;yes, to make certain,
+I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir&mdash;"
+
+<p>"Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble;
+that other second has informed M. Noir."
+
+<p>"H'm! I might have known it.  It is just like that Fourtou,
+who always wants to make a display."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p077"></a><img alt="p077.jpg (116K)" src="images/p077.jpg" height="891" width="585">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At half past nine in the morning the procession approached
+the field of Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first
+came our carriage&mdash;nobody in it but M. Gambetta and myself;
+then a carriage containing M. Fourtou and his second;
+then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did
+not believe in God, and these had MS.  funeral orations
+projecting from their breast pockets; then a carriage
+containing the head surgeons and their cases of instruments;
+then eight private carriages containing consulting surgeons;
+then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses;
+then a carriage containing the head undertakers;
+then a train of assistants and mutes on foot; and after
+these came plodding through the fog a long procession
+of camp followers, police, and citizens generally.
+It was a noble turnout, and would have made a fine display
+if we had had thinner weather.
+
+<p>There was no conversation.  I spoke several times to
+my principal, but I judge he was not aware of it, for he
+always referred to his note-book and muttered absently,
+"I die that France might live."
+
+<p>Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off
+the thirty-five yards, and then drew lots for choice
+of position.  This latter was but an ornamental ceremony,
+for all the choices were alike in such weather.
+These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal
+and asked him if he was ready.  He spread himself out
+to his full width, and said in a stern voice, "Ready! Let
+the batteries be charged."
+
+<p>The loading process was done in the presence of duly
+constituted witnesses.  We considered it best to perform
+this delicate service with the assistance of a lantern,
+on account of the state of the weather.  We now placed
+our men.
+
+<p>At this point the police noticed that the public had massed
+themselves together on the right and left of the field;
+they therefore begged a delay, while they should put
+these poor people in a place of safety.
+
+<p>The request was granted.
+
+<p>The police having ordered the two multitudes to take
+positions behind the duelists, we were once more ready.
+The weather growing still more opaque, it was agreed between
+myself and the other second that before giving the fatal
+signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable
+the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.
+
+<p>I now returned to my principal, and was distressed
+to observe that he had lost a good deal of his spirit.
+I tried my best to hearten him.  I said, "Indeed, sir,
+things are not as bad as they seem.  Considering the character
+of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed,
+the generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog,
+and the added fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed
+and the other cross-eyed and near-sighted, it seems to me
+that this conflict need not necessarily be fatal.  There are
+chances that both of you may survive.  Therefore, cheer up;
+do not be downhearted."
+
+<p>This speech had so good an effect that my principal
+immediately stretched forth his hand and said, "I am
+myself again; give me the weapon."
+
+<p>I laid it, all lonely and forlorn, in the center of the vast
+solitude of his palm.  He gazed at it and shuddered.
+And still mournfully contemplating it, he murmured in a
+broken voice:
+
+<p>"Alas, it is not death I dread, but mutilation."
+
+<p>I heartened him once more, and with such success that he
+presently said, "Let the tragedy begin.  Stand at my back;
+do not desert me in this solemn hour, my friend."
+
+<p>I gave him my promise.  I now assisted him to point
+his pistol toward the spot where I judged his adversary
+to be standing, and cautioned him to listen well and
+further guide himself by my fellow-second's whoop.
+Then I propped myself against M. Gambetta's back,
+and raised a rousing "Whoop-ee!" This was answered from
+out the far distances of the fog, and I immediately shouted:
+
+<p>"One&mdash;two&mdash;three&mdash;FIRE!"
+
+<p>Two little sounds like SPIT! SPIT! broke upon my ear,
+and in the same instant I was crushed to the earth under
+a mountain of flesh.  Bruised as I was, I was still able
+to catch a faint accent from above, to this effect:
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p080"></a><img alt="p080.jpg (10K)" src="images/p080.jpg" height="281" width="295">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"I die for... for ... perdition take it,
+what IS it I die for? ... oh, yes&mdash;FRANCE! I die
+that France may live!"
+
+<p>The surgeons swarmed around with their probes in
+their hands, and applied their microscopes to the whole
+area of M. Gambetta's person, with the happy result of
+finding nothing in the nature of a wound.  Then a scene
+ensued which was in every way gratifying and inspiriting.
+
+<p>The two gladiators fell upon each other's neck, with floods
+of proud and happy tears; that other second embraced me;
+the surgeons, the orators, the undertakers, the police,
+everybody embraced, everybody congratulated, everybody cried,
+and the whole atmosphere was filled with praise and with
+joy unspeakable.
+
+<p>It seems to me then that I would rather be a hero
+of a French duel than a crowned and sceptered monarch.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p081"></a><img alt="p081.jpg (34K)" src="images/p081.jpg" height="365" width="551">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When the commotion had somewhat subsided, the body
+of surgeons held a consultation, and after a good deal
+of debate decided that with proper care and nursing there
+was reason to believe that I would survive my injuries.
+My internal hurts were deemed the most serious, since it
+was apparent that a broken rib had penetrated my left lung,
+and that many of my organs had been pressed out so far
+to one side or the other of where they belonged, that it
+was doubtful if they would ever learn to perform their
+functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities.
+They then set my left arm in two places, pulled my right
+hip into its socket again, and re-elevated my nose.
+I was an object of great interest, and even admiration;
+and many sincere and warm-hearted persons had themselves
+introduced to me, and said they were proud to know
+the only man who had been hurt in a French duel in
+forty years.
+
+<p>I was placed in an ambulance at the very head of the procession;
+and thus with gratifying 'ECLAT I was marched into Paris,
+the most conspicuous figure in that great spectacle,
+and deposited at the hospital.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p082"></a><img alt="p082.jpg (17K)" src="images/p082.jpg" height="305" width="337">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred
+upon me.  However, few escape that distinction.
+
+<p>Such is the true version of the most memorable private
+conflict of the age.
+
+<p>I have no complaints to make against any one.  I acted
+for myself, and I can stand the consequences.
+
+<p>Without boasting, I think I may say I am not afraid
+to stand before a modern French duelist, but as long
+as I keep in my right mind I will never consent to stand
+behind one again.
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<a name="ch9"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER IX</h2>
+<h3>[What the Beautiful Maiden Said]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>One day we took the train and went down to Mannheim
+to see "King Lear" played in German.  It was a mistake.
+We sat in our seats three whole hours and never understood
+anything but the thunder and lightning; and even that
+was reversed to suit German ideas, for the thunder came
+first and the lightning followed after.
+
+<p>The behavior of the audience was perfect.  There were
+no rustlings, or whisperings, or other little disturbances;
+each act was listened to in silence, and the applauding
+was done after the curtain was down.  The doors opened at
+half past four, the play began promptly at half past five,
+and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were
+in their seats, and quiet reigned.  A German gentleman
+in the train had said that a Shakespearian play was an
+appreciated treat in Germany and that we should find the
+house filled.  It was true; all the six tiers were filled,
+and remained so to the end&mdash;which suggested that it is
+not only balcony people who like Shakespeare in Germany,
+but those of the pit and gallery, too.
+
+<p>Another time, we went to Mannheim and attended a
+shivaree&mdash;otherwise an opera&mdash;the one called "Lohengrin." The
+banging and slamming and booming and crashing were
+something beyond belief.  The racking and pitiless
+pain of it remains stored up in my memory alongside
+the memory of the time that I had my teeth fixed.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p084a"></a><img alt="p084a.jpg (14K)" src="images/p084a.jpg" height="339" width="319">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>There were circumstances which made it necessary for me
+to stay through the four hours to the end, and I stayed;
+but the recollection of that long, dragging, relentless season
+of suffering is indestructible.  To have to endure it
+in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder.
+I was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers,
+of the two sexes, and this compelled repression;
+yet at times the pain was so exquisite that I could hardly
+keep the tears back.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p084b"></a><img alt="p084b.jpg (8K)" src="images/p084b.jpg" height="281" width="215">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At those times, as the howlings
+and wailings and shrieking of the singers, and the ragings
+and roarings and explosions of the vast orchestra rose
+higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer
+and fiercer, I could have cried if I had been alone.
+Those strangers would not have been surprised to see
+a man do such a thing who was being gradually skinned,
+but they would have marveled at it here, and made remarks
+about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the
+present case which was an advantage over being skinned.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p085a"></a><img alt="p085a.jpg (15K)" src="images/p085a.jpg" height="359" width="303">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+There was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act,
+and I could have gone out and rested during that time,
+but I could not trust myself to do it, for I felt that I
+should desert to stay out.  There was another wait
+of half an hour toward nine o'clock, but I had gone
+through so much by that time that I had no spirit left,
+and so had no desire but to be let alone.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p085b"></a><img alt="p085b.jpg (10K)" src="images/p085b.jpg" height="313" width="207">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there
+were like me, for, indeed, they were not.  Whether it
+was that they naturally liked that noise, or whether it
+was that they had learned to like it by getting used to it,
+I did not at the time know; but they did like it&mdash;this was
+plain enough.  While it was going on they sat and looked
+as rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs;
+and whenever the curtain fell they rose to their feet,
+in one solid mighty multitude, and the air was snowed thick
+with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes of applause
+swept the place.  This was not comprehensible to me.
+Of course, there were many people there who were not
+under compulsion to stay; yet the tiers were as full at
+the close as they had been at the beginning.  This showed
+that the people liked it.
+
+<p>It was a curious sort of a play.  In the manner
+of costumes and scenery it was fine and showy enough;
+but there was not much action.  That is to say,
+there was not much really done, it was only talked about;
+and always violently.  It was what one might call a
+narrative play.  Everybody had a narrative and a grievance,
+and none were reasonable about it, but all in an offensive
+and ungovernable state.  There was little of that sort
+of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand
+down by the footlights, warbling, with blended voices,
+and keep holding out their arms toward each other and drawing
+them back and spreading both hands over first one breast
+and then the other with a shake and a pressure&mdash;no,
+it was every rioter for himself and no blending.
+Each sang his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by
+the whole orchestra of sixty instruments, and when this had
+continued for some time, and one was hoping they might come
+to an understanding and modify the noise, a great chorus
+composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth,
+and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, I lived
+over again all that I suffered the time the orphan asylum burned
+down.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p086"></a><img alt="p086.jpg (25K)" src="images/p086.jpg" height="511" width="379">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven's
+sweet ecstasy and peace during all this long and diligent
+and acrimonious reproduction of the other place.
+This was while a gorgeous procession of people marched around
+and around, in the third act, and sang the Wedding Chorus.
+To my untutored ear that was music&mdash;almost divine music.
+While my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm
+of those gracious sounds, it seemed to me that I could
+almost resuffer the torments which had gone before,
+in order to be so healed again.  There is where the deep
+ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed.  It deals so
+largely in pain that its scattered delights are prodigiously
+augmented by the contrasts.  A pretty air in an opera is
+prettier there than it could be anywhere else, I suppose,
+just as an honest man in politics shines more than he
+would elsewhere.
+
+<p>I have since found out that there is nothing the Germans
+like so much as an opera.  They like it, not in a mild
+and moderate way, but with their whole hearts.
+This is a legitimate result of habit and education.
+Our nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt.
+One in fifty of those who attend our operas likes
+it already, perhaps, but I think a good many of the other
+forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and the
+rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it.
+The latter usually hum the airs while they are being sung,
+so that their neighbors may perceive that they have been
+to operas before.  The funerals of these do not occur
+often enough.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p087"></a><img alt="p087.jpg (14K)" src="images/p087.jpg" height="331" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>A gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl
+of seventeen sat right in front of us that night at the
+Mannheim opera.  These people talked, between the acts,
+and I understood them, though I understood nothing
+that was uttered on the distant stage.  At first they
+were guarded in their talk, but after they had heard
+my agent and me conversing in English they dropped their
+reserve and I picked up many of their little confidences;
+no, I mean many of HER little confidences&mdash;meaning
+the elder party&mdash;for the young girl only listened,
+and gave assenting nods, but never said a word.  How pretty
+she was, and how sweet she was! I wished she would speak.
+But evidently she was absorbed in her own thoughts,
+her own young-girl dreams, and found a dearer pleasure
+in silence.  But she was not dreaming sleepy dreams&mdash;no,
+she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still
+a moment.  She was an enchanting study.  Her gown was
+of a soft white silky stuff that clung to her round
+young figure like a fish's skin, and it was rippled
+over with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace;
+she had deep, tender eyes, with long, curved lashes;
+and she had peachy cheeks, and a dimpled chin, and such
+a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so dovelike,
+so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching.
+For long hours I did mightily wish she would speak.
+And at last she did; the red lips parted, and out leaps her
+thought&mdash;and with such a guileless and pretty enthusiasm,
+too: "Auntie, I just KNOW I've got five hundred fleas
+on me!"
+
+<p>That was probably over the average.  Yes, it must have been
+very much over the average.  The average at that time
+in the Grand Duchy of Baden was forty-five to a young
+person (when alone), according to the official estimate
+of the home secretary for that year; the average for older
+people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a
+wholesome young girl came into the presence of her elders
+she immediately lowered their average and raised her own.
+She became a sort of contribution-box.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p088"></a><img alt="p088.jpg (29K)" src="images/p088.jpg" height="481" width="327">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This dear young
+thing in the theater had been sitting there unconsciously
+taking up a collection.  Many a skinny old being in our
+neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.
+
+<p>In that large audience, that night, there were eight very
+conspicuous people.  These were ladies who had their hats
+or bonnets on.  What a blessed thing it would be if a lady
+could make herself conspicuous in our theaters by wearing
+her hat.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p089"></a><img alt="p089.jpg (17K)" src="images/p089a.jpg" height="407" width="245">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies
+and gentlemen to take bonnets, hats, overcoats, canes,
+or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in Mannheim this
+rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely
+made up of people from a distance, and among these were
+always a few timid ladies who were afraid that if they had
+to go into an anteroom to get their things when the play
+was over, they would miss their train.  But the great mass
+of those who came from a distance always ran the risk
+and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train
+to a breach of good manners and the discomfort of being
+unpleasantly conspicuous during a stretch of three or four hours.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p089b"></a><img alt="p089b.jpg (17K)" src="images/p089b.jpg" height="227" width="561">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+
+<a name="ch10"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER X</h2>
+<h3>[How Wagner Operas Bang Along]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>Three or four hours.  That is a long time to sit in one place,
+whether one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner's
+operas bang along for six whole hours on a stretch!
+But the people sit there and enjoy it all, and wish it
+would last longer.  A German lady in Munich told me
+that a person could not like Wagner's music at first,
+but must go through the deliberate process of learning
+to like it&mdash;then he would have his sure reward;
+for when he had learned to like it he would hunger
+for it and never be able to get enough of it.  She said
+that six hours of Wagner was by no means too much.
+She said that this composer had made a complete revolution
+in music and was burying the old masters one by one.
+And she said that Wagner's operas differed from all others
+in one notable respect, and that was that they were not
+merely spotted with music here and there, but were ALL music,
+from the first strain to the last.  This surprised me.
+I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found
+hardly ANY music in it except the Wedding Chorus.
+She said "Lohengrin" was noisier than Wagner's other operas,
+but that if I would keep on going to see it I would find
+by and by that it was all music, and therefore would
+then enjoy it.  I COULD have said, "But would you advise
+a person to deliberately practice having a toothache
+in the pit of his stomach for a couple of years in order
+that he might then come to enjoy it?" But I reserved
+that remark.
+
+<p>This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor
+who had performed in a Wagner opera the night before,
+and went on to enlarge upon his old and prodigious fame,
+and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the
+princely houses of Germany.  Here was another surprise.
+I had attended that very opera, in the person of my agent,
+and had made close and accurate observations.  So I
+said:
+
+<p>"Why, madam, MY experience warrants me in stating
+that that tenor's voice is not a voice at all,
+but only a shriek&mdash;the shriek of a hyena."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p091"></a><img alt="p091.jpg (7K)" src="images/p091.jpg" height="301" width="179">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"That is very true," she said; "he cannot sing now;
+it is already many years that he has lost his voice,
+but in other times he sang, yes, divinely! So whenever
+he comes now, you shall see, yes, that the theater
+will not hold the people.  JAWOHL BEI GOTT! his voice
+is WUNDERSCHOEN in that past time."
+
+<p>I said she was discovering to me a kindly trait in the
+Germans which was worth emulating.  I said that over
+the water we were not quite so generous; that with us,
+when a singer had lost his voice and a jumper had lost
+his legs, these parties ceased to draw.  I said I had been
+to the opera in Hanover, once, and in Mannheim once,
+and in Munich (through my authorized agent) once, and this
+large experience had nearly persuaded me that the Germans
+PREFERRED singers who couldn't sing.  This was not such
+a very extravagant speech, either, for that burly Mannheim
+tenor's praises had been the talk of all Heidelberg for
+a week before his performance took place&mdash;yet his voice
+was like the distressing noise which a nail makes when you
+screech it across a window-pane. I said so to Heidelberg
+friends the next day, and they said, in the calmest and
+simplest way, that that was very true, but that in earlier
+times his voice HAD been wonderfully fine.  And the tenor
+in Hanover was just another example of this sort.
+The English-speaking German gentleman who went with me
+to the opera there was brimming with enthusiasm over that tenor.
+He said:
+
+<p>"ACH GOTT! a great man! You shall see him.  He is so celebrate
+in all Germany&mdash;and he has a pension, yes, from the government.
+He not obliged to sing now, only twice every year;
+but if he not sing twice each year they take him his pension
+away."
+
+<p>Very well, we went.  When the renowned old tenor appeared,
+I got a nudge and an excited whisper:
+
+<p>"Now you see him!"
+
+<p>But the "celebrate" was an astonishing disappointment to me.
+If he had been behind a screen I should have supposed
+they were performing a surgical operation on him.
+I looked at my friend&mdash;to my great surprise he seemed
+intoxicated with pleasure, his eyes were dancing
+with eager delight.  When the curtain at last fell,
+he burst into the stormiest applause, and kept it up&mdash;as
+did the whole house&mdash;until the afflictive tenor had
+come three times before the curtain to make his bow.
+While the glowing enthusiast was swabbing the perspiration
+from his face, I said:
+
+<p>"I don't mean the least harm, but really, now, do you
+think he can sing?"
+
+<p>"Him? NO! GOTT IM HIMMEL, ABER, how he has been able to
+sing twenty-five years ago?" [Then pensively.] "ACH, no,
+NOW he not sing any more, he only cry.  When he think
+he sing, now, he not sing at all, no, he only make
+like a cat which is unwell."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p092"></a><img alt="p092.jpg (8K)" src="images/p092.jpg" height="297" width="205">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Where and how did we get the idea that the Germans
+are a stolid, phlegmatic race? In truth, they are
+widely removed from that.  They are warm-hearted,
+emotional, impulsive, enthusiastic, their tears come
+at the mildest touch, and it is not hard to move them
+to laughter.  They are the very children of impulse.
+We are cold and self-contained, compared to the Germans.
+They hug and kiss and cry and shout and dance and sing;
+and where we use one loving, petting expression, they pour
+out a score.  Their language is full of endearing diminutives;
+nothing that they love escapes the application of a petting
+diminutive&mdash;neither the house, nor the dog, nor the horse,
+nor the grandmother, nor any other creature, animate or
+inanimate.
+
+<p>In the theaters at Hanover, Hamburg, and Mannheim,
+they had a wise custom.  The moment the curtain went up,
+the light in the body of the house went down.
+The audience sat in the cool gloom of a deep twilight,
+which greatly enhanced the glowing splendors of the stage.
+It saved gas, too, and people were not sweated to death.
+
+<p>When I saw "King Lear" played, nobody was allowed to see
+a scene shifted; if there was nothing to be done but slide
+a forest out of the way and expose a temple beyond, one did
+not see that forest split itself in the middle and go
+shrieking away, with the accompanying disenchanting spectacle
+of the hands and heels of the impelling impulse&mdash;no,
+the curtain was always dropped for an instant&mdash;one heard
+not the least movement behind it&mdash;but when it went up,
+the next instant, the forest was gone.  Even when the
+stage was being entirely reset, one heard no noise.
+During the whole time that "King Lear" was playing
+the curtain was never down two minutes at any one time.
+The orchestra played until the curtain was ready to go up
+for the first time, then they departed for the evening.
+Where the stage waits never reach two minutes there is no
+occasion for music.  I had never seen this two-minute
+business between acts but once before, and that was when
+the "Shaughraun" was played at Wallack's.
+
+<p>I was at a concert in Munich one night, the people
+were streaming in, the clock-hand pointed to seven,
+the music struck up, and instantly all movement in
+the body of the house ceased&mdash;nobody was standing,
+or walking up the aisles, or fumbling with a seat,
+the stream of incomers had suddenly dried up at its source.
+I listened undisturbed to a piece of music that was fifteen
+minutes long&mdash;always expecting some tardy ticket-holders
+to come crowding past my knees, and being continuously and
+pleasantly disappointed&mdash;but when the last note was struck,
+here came the stream again.  You see, they had made
+those late comers wait in the comfortable waiting-parlor
+from the time the music had begun until it was ended.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p094"></a><img alt="p094.jpg (29K)" src="images/p094.jpg" height="383" width="435">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It was the first time I had ever seen this sort of
+criminals denied the privilege of destroying the comfort
+of a house full of their betters.  Some of these were
+pretty fine birds, but no matter, they had to tarry
+outside in the long parlor under the inspection of
+a double rank of liveried footmen and waiting-maids
+who supported the two walls with their backs and held
+the wraps and traps of their masters and mistresses on their
+arms.
+
+<p>We had no footmen to hold our things, and it was not
+permissible to take them into the concert-room; but there
+were some men and women to take charge of them for us.
+They gave us checks for them and charged a fixed price,
+payable in advance&mdash;five cents.
+
+<p>In Germany they always hear one thing at an opera
+which has never yet been heard in America, perhaps&mdash;I
+mean the closing strain of a fine solo or duet.
+We always smash into it with an earthquake of applause.
+The result is that we rob ourselves of the sweetest
+part of the treat; we get the whiskey, but we don't get
+the sugar in the bottom of the glass.
+
+<p>Our way of scattering applause along through an act seems
+to me to be better than the Mannheim way of saving it
+all up till the act is ended.  I do not see how an actor
+can forget himself and portray hot passion before a cold
+still audience.  I should think he would feel foolish.
+It is a pain to me to this day, to remember how that old
+German Lear raged and wept and howled around the stage,
+with never a response from that hushed house, never a
+single outburst till the act was ended.  To me there was
+something unspeakably uncomfortable in the solemn dead
+silences that always followed this old person's tremendous
+outpourings of his feelings.  I could not help putting
+myself in his place&mdash;I thought I knew how sick and flat
+he felt during those silences, because I remembered a case
+which came under my observation once, and which&mdash;but I
+will tell the incident:
+
+<p>One evening on board a Mississippi steamboat, a boy of ten
+years lay asleep in a berth&mdash;a long, slim-legged boy,
+he was, encased in quite a short shirt; it was the first
+time he had ever made a trip on a steamboat, and so he
+was troubled, and scared, and had gone to bed with his
+head filled with impending snaggings, and explosions,
+and conflagrations, and sudden death.  About ten o'clock
+some twenty ladies were sitting around about the ladies'
+saloon, quietly reading, sewing, embroidering, and so on,
+and among them sat a sweet, benignant old dame with round
+spectacles on her nose and her busy knitting-needles
+in her hands.  Now all of a sudden, into the midst of this
+peaceful scene burst that slim-shanked boy in the brief shirt,
+wild-eyed, erect-haired, and shouting, "Fire, fire!
+JUMP AND RUN, THE BOAT'S AFIRE AND THERE AIN'T A MINUTE
+TO LOSE!" All those ladies looked sweetly up and smiled,
+nobody stirred, the old lady pulled her spectacles down,
+looked over them, and said, gently:
+
+<p>"But you mustn't catch cold, child.  Run and put on
+your breastpin, and then come and tell us all about it."
+
+<p>It was a cruel chill to give to a poor little devil's
+gushing vehemence.  He was expecting to be a sort of
+hero&mdash;the creator of a wild panic&mdash;and here everybody
+sat and smiled a mocking smile, and an old woman made
+fun of his bugbear.  I turned and crept away&mdash;for I
+was that boy&mdash;and never even cared to discover whether
+I had dreamed the fire or actually seen it.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p096"></a><img alt="p096.jpg (29K)" src="images/p096.jpg" height="343" width="483">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I am told that in a German concert or opera, they hardly
+ever encore a song; that though they may be dying to hear
+it again, their good breeding usually preserves them
+against requiring the repetition.
+
+<p>Kings may encore; that is quite another matter;
+it delights everybody to see that the King is pleased;
+and as to the actor encored, his pride and gratification
+are simply boundless.  Still, there are circumstances
+in which even a royal encore&mdash;
+
+<p>But it is better to illustrate.  The King of Bavaria is
+a poet, and has a poet's eccentricities&mdash;with the advantage
+over all other poets of being able to gratify them,
+no matter what form they may take.  He is fond of opera,
+but not fond of sitting in the presence of an audience;
+therefore, it has sometimes occurred, in Munich,
+that when an opera has been concluded and the players
+were getting off their paint and finery, a command has
+come to them to get their paint and finery on again.
+Presently the King would arrive, solitary and alone,
+and the players would begin at the beginning and do the
+entire opera over again with only that one individual
+in the vast solemn theater for audience.  Once he took
+an odd freak into his head.  High up and out of sight,
+over the prodigious stage of the court theater is a maze
+of interlacing water-pipes, so pierced that in case
+of fire, innumerable little thread-like streams of
+water can be caused to descend; and in case of need,
+this discharge can be augmented to a pouring flood.
+American managers might want to make a note of that.
+The King was sole audience.  The opera proceeded,
+it was a piece with a storm in it; the mimic thunder
+began to mutter, the mimic wind began to wail and sough,
+and the mimic rain to patter.  The King's interest rose
+higher and higher; it developed into enthusiasm.  He cried
+out:
+
+<p>"It is very, very good, indeed! But I will have real
+rain! Turn on the water!"
+
+<p>The manager pleaded for a reversal of the command; said it
+would ruin the costly scenery and the splendid costumes,
+but the King cried:
+
+<p>"No matter, no matter, I will have real rain! Turn
+on the water!"
+
+<p>So the real rain was turned on and began to descend in
+gossamer lances to the mimic flower-beds and gravel walks
+of the stage.  The richly dressed actresses and actors
+tripped about singing bravely and pretending not to mind it.
+The King was delighted&mdash;his enthusiasm grew higher.
+He cried out:
+
+<p>"Bravo, bravo! More thunder! more lightning! turn
+on more rain!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p098"></a><img alt="p098.jpg (37K)" src="images/p098.jpg" height="387" width="481">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The thunder boomed, the lightning glared, the storm-winds raged,
+the deluge poured down.  The mimic royalty on the stage,
+with their soaked satins clinging to their bodies,
+slopped about ankle-deep in water, warbling their sweetest
+and best, the fiddlers under the eaves of the stage sawed
+away for dear life, with the cold overflow spouting down
+the backs of their necks, and the dry and happy King sat
+in his lofty box and wore his gloves to ribbons applauding.
+
+<p>"More yet!" cried the King; "more yet&mdash;let loose all
+the thunder, turn on all the water! I will hang the man
+that raises an umbrella!"
+
+<p>When this most tremendous and effective storm that had
+ever been produced in any theater was at last over,
+the King's approbation was measureless.  He cried:
+
+<p>"Magnificent, magnificent! ENCORE! Do it again!"
+
+<p>But the manager succeeded in persuading him to recall
+the encore, and said the company would feel sufficiently
+rewarded and complimented in the mere fact that the
+encore was desired by his Majesty, without fatiguing
+him with a repetition to gratify their own vanity.
+
+<p>During the remainder of the act the lucky performers
+were those whose parts required changes of dress;
+the others were a soaked, bedraggled, and uncomfortable lot,
+but in the last degree picturesque.  The stage scenery
+was ruined, trap-doors were so swollen that they wouldn't
+work for a week afterward, the fine costumes were spoiled,
+and no end of minor damages were done by that remarkable storm.
+
+<p>It was a royal idea&mdash;that storm&mdash;and royally carried out.
+But observe the moderation of the King; he did not
+insist upon his encore.  If he had been a gladsome,
+unreflecting American opera-audience, he probably would
+have had his storm repeated and repeated until he drowned
+all those people.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p099"></a><img alt="p099.jpg (29K)" src="images/p099.jpg" height="459" width="317">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<a name="ch11"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XI</h2>
+<h3>[I Paint a "Turner"]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg.
+We had a skilled trainer, and under his instructions we
+were getting our legs in the right condition for the
+contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well satisfied
+with the progress which we had made in the German language,
+[1. See Appendix D for information concerning this
+fearful tongue.] and more than satisfied with what we had
+accomplished in art.  We had had the best instructors in
+drawing and painting in Germany&mdash;Haemmerling, Vogel, Mueller,
+Dietz, and Schumann.  Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
+Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do
+still-life, and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing
+course in two specialties&mdash;battle-pieces and shipwrecks.
+Whatever I am in Art I owe to these men.  I have something
+of the manner of each and all of them; but they all said that I
+had also a manner of my own, and that it was conspicuous.
+They said there was a marked individuality about my
+style&mdash;insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest
+type of a dog, I should be sure to throw a something
+into the aspect of that dog which would keep him from
+being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
+Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings,
+but I could not; I was afraid that my masters'
+partiality for me, and pride in me, biased their judgment.
+So I resolved to make a test.  Privately, and unknown
+to any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle
+Illuminated"&mdash;my first really important work in oils&mdash;and
+had it hung up in the midst of a wilderness of oil-pictures
+in the Art Exhibition, with no name attached to it.  To my
+great gratification it was instantly recognized as mine.
+All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
+neighboring localities to visit it.  It made more stir than
+any other work in the Exhibition.  But the most gratifying
+thing of all was, that chance strangers, passing through,
+who had not heard of my picture, were not only drawn to it,
+as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the gallery,
+but always took it for a "Turner."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p101"></a><img alt="p101.jpg (45K)" src="images/p101.jpg" height="587" width="453">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Apparently nobody had ever done that.  There were ruined
+castles on the overhanging cliffs and crags all the way;
+these were said to have their legends, like those on the Rhine,
+and what was better still, they had never been in print.
+There was nothing in the books about that lovely region;
+it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for
+the literary pioneer.
+
+<p>Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
+walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought
+to us.  A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us.
+We went around one evening and bade good-by to our friends,
+and afterward had a little farewell banquet at the hotel.
+We got to bed early, for we wanted to make an early start,
+so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
+
+<p>We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh
+and vigorous, and took a hearty breakfast, then plunged
+down through the leafy arcades of the Castle grounds,
+toward the town.  What a glorious summer morning it was,
+and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance,
+and how the birds did sing! It was just the time for a
+tramp through the woods and mountains.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p103"></a><img alt="p103.jpg (24K)" src="images/p103.jpg" height="467" width="341">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the
+sun off; gray knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls;
+leathern gaiters buttoned tight from knee down to ankle;
+high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced.  Each man had
+an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung
+over his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand
+and a sun-umbrella in the other.  Around our hats were
+wound many folds of soft white muslin, with the ends
+hanging and flapping down our backs&mdash;an idea brought
+from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe.
+Harris carried the little watch-like machine called
+a "pedometer," whose office is to keep count of a man's
+steps and tell how far he has walked.  Everybody stopped
+to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant march
+to you!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p104"></a><img alt="p104.jpg (32K)" src="images/p104.jpg" height="477" width="337">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to
+within five miles of Heilbronn.  The train was just starting,
+so we jumped aboard and went tearing away in splendid spirits.
+It was agreed all around that we had done wisely,
+because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the Neckar
+as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways.
+There were some nice German people in our compartment.
+I got to talking some pretty private matters presently,
+and Harris became nervous; so he nudged me and said:
+
+<p>"Speak in German&mdash;these Germans may understand English."
+
+<p>I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there
+was not a German in that party who did not understand
+English perfectly.  It is curious how widespread our language
+is in Germany.  After a while some of those folks got out
+and a German gentleman and his two young daughters got in.
+I spoke in German of one of the latter several times,
+but without result.  Finally she said:
+
+<p>"ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"&mdash;or words to
+that effect.  That is, "I don't understand any language
+but German and English."
+
+<p>And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister
+spoke English.  So after that we had all the talk we wanted;
+and we wanted a good deal, for they were agreeable people.
+They were greatly interested in our customs; especially
+the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
+They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we
+must be going to Switzerland or some other rugged country;
+and asked us if we did not find the walking pretty fatiguing
+in such warm weather.  But we said no.
+
+<p>We reached Wimpfen&mdash;I think it was Wimpfen&mdash;in about
+three hours, and got out, not the least tired; found a
+good hotel and ordered beer and dinner&mdash;then took
+a stroll through the venerable old village.  It was very
+picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting.
+It had queer houses five hundred years old in it,
+and a military tower 115 feet high, which had stood there
+more than ten centuries.  I made a little sketch of it.
+I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p105a"></a><img alt="p105a.jpg (20K)" src="images/p105a.jpg" height="403" width="293">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I think the original was better than the copy, because it
+had more windows in it and the grass stood up better and had
+a brisker look.  There was none around the tower, though;
+I composed the grass myself, from studies I made in a field
+by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time.  The man on top,
+looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
+he could not be made smaller, conveniently.  I wanted
+him there, and I wanted him visible, so I thought out a
+way to manage it; I composed the picture from two points
+of view; the spectator is to observe the man from bout
+where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself
+from the ground.  This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy.
+[Figure 2]
+
+<p>Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses
+of stone&mdash;moldy and damaged things, bearing life-size
+stone figures.  The two thieves were dressed in the fanciful
+court costumes of the middle of the sixteenth century,
+while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a cloth
+around the loins.
+
+<p>We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging
+to the hotel and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke,
+we went to bed.  We had a refreshing nap, then got up
+about three in the afternoon and put on our panoply.
+As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town,
+we overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and
+ends of cabbages and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn
+by a small cow and a smaller donkey yoked together.
+It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into Heilbronn
+before dark&mdash;five miles, or possibly it was seven.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p105b"></a><img alt="p105b.jpg (37K)" src="images/p105b.jpg" height="299" width="555">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old
+robber-knight and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen,
+abode in after he got out of captivity in the Square Tower
+of Heilbronn between three hundred and fifty and four hundred
+years ago.  Harris and I occupied the same room which he
+had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off
+the walls yet.  The furniture was quaint old carved stuff,
+full four hundred years old, and some of the smells
+were over a thousand.  There was a hook in the wall,
+which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to
+hang his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed.
+This room was very large&mdash;it might be called
+immense&mdash;and it was on the first floor; which means it was in
+the second story, for in Europe the houses are so high
+that they do not count the first story, else they
+would get tired climbing before they got to the top.
+The wallpaper was a fiery red, with huge gold figures in it,
+well smirched by time, and it covered all the doors.
+These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures
+of the paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed
+one had to go feeling and searching along the wall
+to find them.  There was a stove in the corner&mdash;one
+of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things
+that looks like a monument and keeps you thinking
+of death when you ought to be enjoying your travels.
+The windows looked out on a little alley, and over that
+into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear
+of some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds
+in the room, one in one end, the other in the other,
+about an old-fashioned brass-mounted, single-barreled
+pistol-shot apart.  They were fully as narrow as the usual
+German bed, too, and had the German bed's ineradicable
+habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time
+you forgot yourself and went to sleep.
+
+<p>A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the
+center of the room; while the waiters were getting
+ready to serve our dinner on it we all went out to see
+the renowned clock on the front of the municipal buildings.
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch12"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XII</h2>
+<h3>[What the Wives Saved]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>The RATHHAUS, or municipal building, is of the quaintest
+and most picturesque Middle-Age architecture.  It has a
+massive portico and steps, before it, heavily balustraded,
+and adorned with life-sized rusty iron knights in
+complete armor.  The clock-face on the front of the building
+is very large and of curious pattern.  Ordinarily, a gilded
+angel strikes the hour on a big bell with a hammer;
+as the striking ceases, a life-sized figure of Time raises
+its hour-glass and turns it; two golden rams advance
+and butt each other; a gilded cock lifts its wings;
+but the main features are two great angels, who stand
+on each side of the dial with long horns at their lips;
+it was said that they blew melodious blasts on these
+horns every hour&mdash;but they did not do it for us.
+We were told, later, that they blew only at night,
+when the town was still.
+
+<p>Within the RATHHAUS were a number of huge wild boars'
+heads, preserved, and mounted on brackets along the wall;
+they bore inscriptions telling who killed them and how many
+hundred years ago it was done.  One room in the building
+was devoted to the preservation of ancient archives.
+There they showed us no end of aged documents; some were
+signed by Popes, some by Tilly and other great generals,
+and one was a letter written and subscribed by Goetz von
+Berlichingen in Heilbronn in 1519 just after his release
+from the Square Tower.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p109"></a><img alt="p109.jpg (85K)" src="images/p109.jpg" height="895" width="601">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This fine old robber-knight was a devoutly and sincerely
+religious man, hospitable, charitable to the poor,
+fearless in fight, active, enterprising, and possessed
+of a large and generous nature.  He had in him a
+quality of being able to overlook moderate injuries,
+and being able to forgive and forget mortal ones as
+soon as he had soundly trounced the authors of them.
+He was prompt to take up any poor devil's quarrel and risk
+his neck to right him.  The common folk held him dear,
+and his memory is still green in ballad and tradition.
+He used to go on the highway and rob rich wayfarers;
+and other times he would swoop down from his high castle
+on the hills of the Neckar and capture passing cargoes
+of merchandise.  In his memoirs he piously thanks the
+Giver of all Good for remembering him in his needs and
+delivering sundry such cargoes into his hands at times
+when only special providences could have relieved him.
+He was a doughty warrior and found a deep joy in battle.
+In an assault upon a stronghold in Bavaria when he was
+only twenty-three years old, his right hand was shot away,
+but he was so interested in the fight that he did not
+observe it for a while.  He said that the iron hand
+which was made for him afterward, and which he wore for
+more than half a century, was nearly as clever a member
+as the fleshy one had been.  I was glad to get a facsimile
+of the letter written by this fine old German Robin Hood,
+though I was not able to read it.  He was a better artist
+with his sword than with his pen.
+
+<p>We went down by the river and saw the Square Tower.
+It was a very venerable structure, very strong,
+and very ornamental.  There was no opening near the ground.
+They had to use a ladder to get into it, no doubt.
+
+<p>We visited the principal church, also&mdash;a curious
+old structure, with a towerlike spire adorned with all
+sorts of grotesque images.  The inner walls of the church
+were placarded with large mural tablets of copper,
+bearing engraved inscriptions celebrating the merits
+of old Heilbronn worthies of two or three centuries ago,
+and also bearing rudely painted effigies of themselves
+and their families tricked out in the queer costumes of
+those days.  The head of the family sat in the foreground,
+and beyond him extended a sharply receding and diminishing
+row of sons; facing him sat his wife, and beyond
+her extended a low row of diminishing daughters.
+The family was usually large, but the perspective bad.
+
+<p>Then we hired the hack and the horse which Goetz von
+Berlichingen used to use, and drove several miles into
+the country to visit the place called WEIBERTREU&mdash;Wife's
+Fidelity I suppose it means.  It was a feudal castle
+of the Middle Ages.  When we reached its neighborhood we
+found it was beautifully situated, but on top of a mound,
+or hill, round and tolerably steep, and about two hundred
+feet high.  Therefore, as the sun was blazing hot,
+we did not climb up there, but took the place on trust,
+and observed it from a distance while the horse leaned up
+against a fence and rested.  The place has no interest
+except that which is lent it by its legend, which is
+a very pretty one&mdash;to this effect:
+
+<p>THE LEGEND
+
+<p>In the Middle Ages, a couple of young dukes, brothers,
+took opposite sides in one of the wars, the one fighting
+for the Emperor, the other against him.  One of them
+owned the castle and village on top of the mound which I
+have been speaking of, and in his absence his brother
+came with his knights and soldiers and began a siege.
+It was a long and tedious business, for the people
+made a stubborn and faithful defense.  But at last
+their supplies ran out and starvation began its work;
+more fell by hunger than by the missiles of the enemy.
+They by and by surrendered, and begged for charitable terms.
+But the beleaguering prince was so incensed against them
+for their long resistance that he said he would spare none
+but the women and children&mdash;all men should be put to the
+sword without exception, and all their goods destroyed.
+Then the women came and fell on their knees and begged for
+the lives of their husbands.
+
+<p>"No," said the prince, "not a man of them shall escape alive;
+you yourselves shall go with your children into houseless
+and friendless banishment; but that you may not starve
+I grant you this one grace, that each woman may bear
+with her from this place as much of her most valuable
+property as she is able to carry."
+
+<p>Very well, presently the gates swung open and out filed
+those women carrying their HUSBANDS on their shoulders.
+The besiegers, furious at the trick, rushed forward
+to slaughter the men, but the Duke stepped between and
+said:
+
+<p>"No, put up your swords&mdash;a prince's word is inviolable."
+
+<p>When we got back to the hotel, King Arthur's Round Table
+was ready for us in its white drapery, and the head waiter
+and his first assistant, in swallow-tails and white cravats,
+brought in the soup and the hot plates at once.
+
+<p>Mr. X had ordered the dinner, and when the wine came on,
+he picked up a bottle, glanced at the label, and then turned
+to the grave, the melancholy, the sepulchral head waiter
+and said it was not the sort of wine he had asked for.
+The head waiter picked up the bottle, cast his undertaker-eye
+on it and said:
+
+<p>"It is true; I beg pardon." Then he turned on his
+subordinate and calmly said, "Bring another label."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p111"></a><img alt="p111.jpg (22K)" src="images/p111.jpg" height="627" width="261">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At the same time he slid the present label off with his hand
+and laid it aside; it had been newly put on, its paste
+was still wet.  When the new label came, he put it on;
+our French wine being now turned into German wine,
+according to desire, the head waiter went blandly about his
+other duties, as if the working of this sort of miracle
+was a common and easy thing to him.
+
+<p>Mr. X said he had not known, before, that there were
+people honest enough to do this miracle in public,
+but he was aware that thousands upon thousands of labels
+were imported into America from Europe every year,
+to enable dealers to furnish to their customers in a quiet
+and inexpensive way all the different kinds of foreign
+wines they might require.
+
+<p>We took a turn around the town, after dinner, and found
+it fully as interesting in the moonlight as it had been
+in the daytime.  The streets were narrow and roughly paved,
+and there was not a sidewalk or a street-lamp anywhere.
+The dwellings were centuries old, and vast enough for hotels.
+They widened all the way up; the stories projected
+further and further forward and aside as they ascended,
+and the long rows of lighted windows, filled with little bits
+of panes, curtained with figured white muslin and adorned
+outside with boxes of flowers, made a pretty effect.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p112"></a><img alt="p112.jpg (34K)" src="images/p112.jpg" height="559" width="317">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The moon was bright, and the light and shadow very strong;
+and nothing could be more picturesque than those curving
+streets, with their rows of huge high gables leaning
+far over toward each other in a friendly gossiping way,
+and the crowds below drifting through the alternating blots
+of gloom and mellow bars of moonlight.  Nearly everybody
+was abroad, chatting, singing, romping, or massed in lazy
+comfortable attitudes in the doorways.
+
+<p>In one place there was a public building which was
+fenced about with a thick, rusty chain, which sagged
+from post to post in a succession of low swings.
+The pavement, here, was made of heavy blocks of stone.
+In the glare of the moon a party of barefooted children
+were swinging on those chains and having a noisy good time.
+They were not the first ones who have done that;
+even their great-great-grandfathers had not been the first
+to do it when they were children.  The strokes of the bare
+feet had worn grooves inches deep in the stone flags;
+it had taken many generations of swinging children to
+accomplish that.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p113"></a><img alt="p113.jpg (39K)" src="images/p113.jpg" height="453" width="575">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Everywhere in the town were the mold
+and decay that go with antiquity, and evidence of it;
+but I do not know that anything else gave us so vivid
+a sense of the old age of Heilbronn as those footworn
+grooves in the paving-stones.
+
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch13"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2>
+<h3>[My Long Crawl in the Dark]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<p>When we got back to the hotel I wound and set the
+pedometer and put it in my pocket, for I was to carry
+it next day and keep record of the miles we made.
+The work which we had given the instrument to do during
+the day which had just closed had not fatigued it perceptibly.
+
+<p>We were in bed by ten, for we wanted to be up and away on
+our tramp homeward with the dawn.  I hung fire, but Harris
+went to sleep at once.  I hate a man who goes to sleep
+at once; there is a sort of indefinable something about it
+which is not exactly an insult, and yet is an insolence;
+and one which is hard to bear, too.  I lay there fretting
+over this injury, and trying to go to sleep; but the harder
+I tried, the wider awake I grew.  I got to feeling very lonely
+in the dark, with no company but an undigested dinner.
+My mind got a start by and by, and began to consider the
+beginning of every subject which has ever been thought of;
+but it never went further than the beginning; it was touch
+and go; it fled from topic to topic with a frantic speed.
+At the end of an hour my head was in a perfect whirl and I
+was dead tired, fagged out.
+
+<p>The fatigue was so great that it presently began to make some
+head against the nervous excitement; while imagining myself
+wide awake, I would really doze into momentary unconsciousness,
+and come suddenly out of it with a physical jerk which nearly
+wrenched my joints apart&mdash;the delusion of the instant
+being that I was tumbling backward over a precipice.
+After I had fallen over eight or nine precipices and thus
+found out that one half of my brain had been asleep eight
+or nine times without the wide-awake, hard-working other
+half suspecting it, the periodical unconsciousnesses
+began to extend their spell gradually over more of my
+brain-territory, and at last I sank into a drowse which
+grew deeper and deeper and was doubtless just on the very
+point of being a solid, blessed dreamless stupor, when&mdash;what was
+that?
+
+<p>My dulled faculties dragged themselves partly back to life
+and took a receptive attitude.  Now out of an immense,
+a limitless distance, came a something which grew and grew,
+and approached, and presently was recognizable as a
+sound&mdash;it had rather seemed to be a feeling, before.  This sound
+was a mile away, now&mdash;perhaps it was the murmur of a storm;
+and now it was nearer&mdash;not a quarter of a mile away;
+was it the muffled rasping and grinding of distant
+machinery? No, it came still nearer; was it the measured
+tramp of a marching troop? But it came nearer still,
+and still nearer&mdash;and at last it was right in the room: it
+was merely a mouse gnawing the woodwork.  So I had held my
+breath all that time for such a trifle.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p115"></a><img alt="p115.jpg (72K)" src="images/p115.jpg" height="825" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Well, what was done could not be helped; I would go
+to sleep at once and make up the lost time.  That was
+a thoughtless thought.  Without intending it&mdash;hardly
+knowing it&mdash;I fell to listening intently to that sound,
+and even unconsciously counting the strokes of the mouse's
+nutmeg-grater. Presently I was deriving exquisite suffering
+from this employment, yet maybe I could have endured
+it if the mouse had attended steadily to his work;
+but he did not do that; he stopped every now and then,
+and I suffered more while waiting and listening for
+him to begin again than I did while he was gnawing.
+Along at first I was mentally offering a reward
+of five&mdash;six&mdash;seven&mdash;ten&mdash;dollars for that mouse;
+but toward the last I was offering rewards which were
+entirely beyond my means.  I close-reefed my
+ears&mdash;that is to say, I bent the flaps of them down and furled
+them into five or six folds, and pressed them against
+the hearing-orifice&mdash;but it did no good: the faculty
+was so sharpened by nervous excitement that it was become
+a microphone and could hear through the overlays without trouble.
+
+<p>
+My anger grew to a frenzy.  I finally did what all persons
+before me have done, clear back to Adam,&mdash;resolved to
+throw something.  I reached down and got my walking-shoes,
+then sat up in bed and listened, in order to exactly locate
+the noise.  But I couldn't do it; it was as unlocatable
+as a cricket's noise; and where one thinks that that is,
+is always the very place where it isn't. So I presently
+hurled a shoe at random, and with a vicious vigor.
+It struck the wall over Harris's head and fell down on him;
+I had not imagined I could throw so far.  It woke Harris,
+and I was glad of it until I found he was not angry;
+then I was sorry.  He soon went to sleep again,
+which pleased me; but straightway the mouse began again,
+which roused my temper once more.  I did not want to wake
+Harris a second time, but the gnawing continued until I
+was compelled to throw the other shoe.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p117"></a><img alt="p117.jpg (29K)" src="images/p117.jpg" height="404" width="370">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This time I broke
+a mirror&mdash;there were two in the room&mdash;I got the largest one,
+of course.  Harris woke again, but did not complain,
+and I was sorrier than ever.  I resolved that I would
+suffer all possible torture before I would disturb him a
+third time.
+
+<p>The mouse eventually retired, and by and by I was sinking
+to sleep, when a clock began to strike; I counted till
+it was done, and was about to drowse again when another
+clock began; I counted; then the two great RATHHAUS clock
+angels began to send forth soft, rich, melodious blasts
+from their long trumpets.  I had never heard anything
+that was so lovely, or weird, or mysterious&mdash;but when they
+got to blowing the quarter-hours, they seemed to me to be
+overdoing the thing.  Every time I dropped off for the moment,
+a new noise woke me.  Each time I woke I missed my coverlet,
+and had to reach down to the floor and get it again.
+
+<p>At last all sleepiness forsook me.  I recognized the fact
+that I was hopelessly and permanently wide awake.
+Wide awake, and feverish and thirsty.  When I had lain
+tossing there as long as I could endure it, it occurred
+to me that it would be a good idea to dress and go out in
+the great square and take a refreshing wash in the fountain,
+and smoke and reflect there until the remnant of the night
+was gone.
+
+<p>I believed I could dress in the dark without waking Harris.
+I had banished my shoes after the mouse, but my slippers
+would do for a summer night.  So I rose softly, and gradually
+got on everything&mdash;down to one sock.  I couldn't seem
+to get on the track of that sock, any way I could fix it.
+But I had to have it; so I went down on my hands and knees,
+with one slipper on and the other in my hand, and began to
+paw gently around and rake the floor, but with no success.
+I enlarged my circle, and went on pawing and raking.
+With every pressure of my knee, how the floor creaked!
+and every time I chanced to rake against any article,
+it seemed to give out thirty-five or thirty-six times
+more noise than it would have done in the daytime.
+In those cases I always stopped and held my breath till I
+was sure Harris had not awakened&mdash;then I crept along again.
+I moved on and on, but I could not find the sock;
+I could not seem to find anything but furniture.
+I could not remember that there was much furniture
+in the room when I went to bed, but the place was alive
+with it now &mdash;especially chairs&mdash;chairs
+everywhere&mdash;had a couple of families moved in, in the mean time? And
+I never could seem to GLANCE on one of those chairs,
+but always struck it full and square with my head.
+My temper rose, by steady and sure degrees, and as I
+pawed on and on, I fell to making vicious comments under
+my breath.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p118"></a><img alt="p118.jpg (36K)" src="images/p118.jpg" height="423" width="551">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Finally, with a venomous access of irritation, I said I
+would leave without the sock; so I rose up and made straight
+for the door&mdash;as I supposed&mdash;and suddenly confronted my
+dim spectral image in the unbroken mirror.  It startled
+the breath out of me, for an instant; it also showed me
+that I was lost, and had no sort of idea where I was.
+When I realized this, I was so angry that I had to sit
+down on the floor and take hold of something to keep
+from lifting the roof off with an explosion of opinion.
+If there had been only one mirror, it might possibly have
+helped to locate me; but there were two, and two were as
+bad as a thousand; besides, these were on opposite sides
+of the room.  I could see the dim blur of the windows,
+but in my turned-around condition they were exactly
+where they ought not to be, and so they only confused me
+instead of helping me.
+
+<p>I started to get up, and knocked down an umbrella;
+it made a noise like a pistol-shot when it struck
+that hard, slick, carpetless floor; I grated my teeth
+and held my breath&mdash;Harris did not stir.  I set the
+umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall,
+but as soon as I took my hand away, its heel slipped
+from under it, and down it came again with another bang.
+I shrunk together and listened a moment in silent
+fury&mdash;no harm done, everything quiet.  With the most painstaking
+care and nicety, I stood the umbrella up once more,
+took my hand away, and down it came again.
+
+<p>I have been strictly reared, but if it had not been
+so dark and solemn and awful there in that lonely,
+vast room, I do believe I should have said something
+then which could not be put into a Sunday-school book
+without injuring the sale of it.  If my reasoning powers
+had not been already sapped dry by my harassments,
+I would have known better than to try to set an umbrella
+on end on one of those glassy German floors in the dark;
+it can't be done in the daytime without four failures
+to one success.  I had one comfort, though&mdash;Harris was
+yet still and silent&mdash;he had not stirred.
+
+<p>The umbrella could not locate me&mdash;there were four
+standing around the room, and all alike.  I thought I
+would feel along the wall and find the door in that way.
+I rose up and began this operation, but raked down
+a picture.  It was not a large one, but it made noise
+enough for a panorama.  Harris gave out no sound, but I
+felt that if I experimented any further with the pictures
+I should be sure to wake him.  Better give up trying to
+get out.  Yes, I would find King Arthur's Round Table once
+more&mdash;I had already found it several times&mdash;and use it
+for a base of departure on an exploring tour for my bed;
+if I could find my bed I could then find my water pitcher;
+I would quench my raging thirst and turn in.  So I started
+on my hands and knees, because I could go faster that way,
+and with more confidence, too, and not knock down things.
+By and by I found the table&mdash;with my head&mdash;rubbed the
+bruise a little, then rose up and started, with hands
+abroad and fingers spread, to balance myself.  I found
+a chair; then a wall; then another chair; then a sofa;
+then an alpenstock, then another sofa; this confounded me,
+for I had thought there was only one sofa.  I hunted
+up the table again and took a fresh start; found some
+more chairs.
+
+<p>It occurred to me, now, as it ought to have done before,
+that as the table was round, it was therefore of no
+value as a base to aim from; so I moved off once more,
+and at random among the wilderness of chairs and
+sofas&mdash;wandering off into unfamiliar regions, and presently knocked
+a candlestick and knocked off a lamp, grabbed at the lamp
+and knocked off a water pitcher with a rattling crash,
+and thought to myself, "I've found you at last&mdash;I
+judged I was close upon you." Harris shouted "murder,"
+and "thieves," and finished with "I'm absolutely drowned."
+
+<p>The crash had roused the house.  Mr. X pranced in,
+in his long night-garment, with a candle, young Z after him
+with another candle; a procession swept in at another door,
+with candles and lanterns&mdash;landlord and two German guests
+in their nightgowns and a chambermaid in hers.
+
+<p>I looked around; I was at Harris's bed, a Sabbath-day's
+journey from my own.  There was only one sofa; it was against
+the wall; there was only one chair where a body could get
+at it&mdash;I had been revolving around it like a planet,
+and colliding with it like a comet half the night.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p121"></a><img alt="p121.jpg (52K)" src="images/p121.jpg" height="601" width="369">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I explained how I had been employing myself, and why.
+Then the landlord's party left, and the rest of us set
+about our preparations for breakfast, for the dawn was
+ready to break.  I glanced furtively at my pedometer,
+and found I had made 47 miles.  But I did not care, for I
+had come out for a pedestrian tour anyway.
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch14"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XIV</h2>
+<h3>[Rafting Down the Neckar]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<p>When the landlord learned that I and my agents were artists,
+our party rose perceptibly in his esteem; we rose still
+higher when he learned that we were making a pedestrian
+tour of Europe.
+
+<p>He told us all about the Heidelberg road, and which
+were the best places to avoid and which the best ones
+to tarry at; he charged me less than cost for the things
+I broke in the night; he put up a fine luncheon for us
+and added to it a quantity of great light-green plums,
+the pleasantest fruit in Germany; he was so anxious to do us
+honor that he would not allow us to walk out of Heilbronn,
+but called up Goetz von Berlichingen's horse and cab
+and made us ride.
+
+<p>I made a sketch of the turnout.  It is not a Work, it is only
+what artists call a "study"&mdash;a thing to make a finished
+picture from.  This sketch has several blemishes in it;
+for instance, the wagon is not traveling as fast as the
+horse is.  This is wrong.  Again, the person trying to get
+out of the way is too small; he is out of perspective,
+as we say.  The two upper lines are not the horse's back,
+they are the reigns; there seems to be a wheel
+missing&mdash;this would be corrected in a finished Work, of course.
+This thing flying out behind is not a flag, it is a curtain.
+That other thing up there is the sun, but I didn't get
+enough distance on it.  I do not remember, now, what that
+thing is that is in front of the man who is running,
+but I think it is a haystack or a woman.  This study
+was exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1879, but did not
+take any medal; they do not give medals for studies.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p123"></a><img alt="p123.jpg (29K)" src="images/p123.jpg" height="885" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We discharged the carriage at the bridge.  The river was
+full of logs&mdash;long, slender, barkless pine logs&mdash;and we
+leaned on the rails of the bridge, and watched the men put
+them together into rafts.  These rafts were of a shape
+and construction to suit the crookedness and extreme
+narrowness of the Neckar.  They were from fifty to one
+hundred yards long, and they gradually tapered from a
+nine-log breadth at their sterns, to a three-log breadth
+at their bow-ends. The main part of the steering is done
+at the bow, with a pole; the three-log breadth there
+furnishes room for only the steersman, for these little logs
+are not larger around than an average young lady's waist.
+The connections of the several sections of the raft are
+slack and pliant, so that the raft may be readily bent
+into any sort of curve required by the shape of the river.
+
+<p>The Neckar is in many places so narrow that a person
+can throw a dog across it, if he has one; when it is
+also sharply curved in such places, the raftsman has
+to do some pretty nice snug piloting to make the turns.
+The river is not always allowed to spread over its whole
+bed&mdash;which is as much as thirty, and sometimes forty yards
+wide&mdash;but is split into three equal bodies of water,
+by stone dikes which throw the main volume, depth, and current
+into the central one.  In low water these neat narrow-edged
+dikes project four or five inches above the surface,
+like the comb of a submerged roof, but in high water
+they are overflowed.  A hatful of rain makes high water
+in the Neckar, and a basketful produces an overflow.
+
+<p>There are dikes abreast the Schloss Hotel, and the current
+is violently swift at that point.  I used to sit for hours
+in my glass cage, watching the long, narrow rafts slip
+along through the central channel, grazing the right-bank
+dike and aiming carefully for the middle arch of the stone
+bridge below; I watched them in this way, and lost all this
+time hoping to see one of them hit the bridge-pier and wreck
+itself sometime or other, but was always disappointed.
+One was smashed there one morning, but I had just stepped
+into my room a moment to light a pipe, so I lost it.
+
+<p>While I was looking down upon the rafts that morning
+in Heilbronn, the daredevil spirit of adventure came
+suddenly upon me, and I said to my comrades:
+
+<p>"I am going to Heidelberg on a raft.  Will you venture
+with me?"
+
+<p>Their faces paled a little, but they assented with as
+good a grace as they could.  Harris wanted to cable his
+mother&mdash;thought it his duty to do that, as he was all
+she had in this world&mdash;so, while he attended to this,
+I went down to the longest and finest raft and hailed
+the captain with a hearty "Ahoy, shipmate!" which put us
+upon pleasant terms at once, and we entered upon business.
+I said we were on a pedestrian tour to Heidelberg,
+and would like to take passage with him.  I said this
+partly through young Z, who spoke German very well,
+and partly through Mr. X, who spoke it peculiarly.  I can
+UNDERSTAND German as well as the maniac that invented it,
+but I TALK it best through an interpreter.
+
+<p>The captain hitched up his trousers, then shifted
+his quid thoughtfully.  Presently he said just what I
+was expecting he would say&mdash;that he had no license
+to carry passengers, and therefore was afraid the law
+would be after him in case the matter got noised about
+or any accident happened.  So I CHARTERED the raft
+and the crew and took all the responsibilities on myself.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p125"></a><img alt="p125.jpg (58K)" src="images/p125.jpg" height="713" width="477">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>With a rattling song the starboard watch bent to their
+work and hove the cable short, then got the anchor home,
+and our bark moved off with a stately stride, and soon
+was bowling along at about two knots an hour.
+
+<p>Our party were grouped amidships.  At first the talk was
+a little gloomy, and ran mainly upon the shortness of life,
+the uncertainty of it, the perils which beset it, and the
+need and wisdom of being always prepared for the worst;
+this shaded off into low-voiced references to the dangers
+of the deep, and kindred matters; but as the gray east
+began to redden and the mysterious solemnity and silence
+of the dawn to give place to the joy-songs of the birds,
+the talk took a cheerier tone, and our spirits began to
+rise steadily.
+
+<p>Germany, in the summer, is the perfection of the beautiful,
+but nobody has understood, and realized, and enjoyed
+the utmost possibilities of this soft and peaceful
+beauty unless he has voyaged down the Neckar on a raft.
+The motion of a raft is the needful motion; it is gentle,
+and gliding, and smooth, and noiseless; it calms down
+all feverish activities, it soothes to sleep all nervous
+hurry and impatience; under its restful influence all the
+troubles and vexations and sorrows that harass the mind
+vanish away, and existence becomes a dream, a charm,
+a deep and tranquil ecstasy.  How it contrasts with hot
+and perspiring pedestrianism, and dusty and deafening
+railroad rush, and tedious jolting behind tired horses
+over blinding white roads!
+
+<p>We went slipping silently along, between the green and
+fragrant banks, with a sense of pleasure and contentment
+that grew, and grew, all the time.  Sometimes the banks
+were overhung with thick masses of willows that wholly
+hid the ground behind; sometimes we had noble hills on
+one hand, clothed densely with foliage to their tops,
+and on the other hand open levels blazing with poppies,
+or clothed in the rich blue of the corn-flower;
+sometimes we drifted in the shadow of forests, and sometimes
+along the margin of long stretches of velvety grass,
+fresh and green and bright, a tireless charm to the eye.
+And the birds!&mdash;they were everywhere; they swept back
+and forth across the river constantly, and their jubilant
+music was never stilled.
+
+<p>It was a deep and satisfying pleasure to see the sun
+create the new morning, and gradually, patiently,
+lovingly, clothe it on with splendor after splendor,
+and glory after glory, till the miracle was complete.
+How different is this marvel observed from a raft,
+from what it is when one observes it through the dingy
+windows of a railway-station in some wretched village
+while he munches a petrified sandwich and waits for the train.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p127"></a><img alt="p127.jpg (23K)" src="images/p127.jpg" height="513" width="417">
+</center>
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>[Transcriber's Note for edition 12: on the advice of two
+German-speaking volunteers, the German letters a, o, and u with
+umlauts have been rendered as ae, oe, and ue instead of as,
+variously, :a, a", :o, o" and :u, u" as in previous editions.]
+
+
+
+
+<br>
+<br>
+
+
+<center>
+<table summary="" cellPadding=4 border=3>
+<tr><td>
+
+
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5782/5782-h/5782-h.htm">Previous Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+</td><td>
+&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/files/5784/5784-h/5784-h.htm">Next Part</a>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
+
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+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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+</body>
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+
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad
+       Part 2
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: March 1994 [EBook #5783]
+Posting Date: June 3, 2009
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Anonymous Volunteers, John Greenman and David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2
+
+By Mark Twain
+
+(Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+First published in 1880
+
+Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition
+
+ * * * * * *
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS:
+
+
+     1.   PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR
+     2.   TITIAN'S MOSES
+     3.   THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES
+     32.  FRENCH CALM
+     33.  THE CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
+     34.  A SEARCH
+     35.  HE SWOONED PONDEROUSLY
+     36.  I ROLLED HIM OVER
+     37.  THE ONE I HIRED
+     36.  THE MARCH TO THE FIELD
+     39.  THE POST OF DANGER
+     40.  THE RECONCILIATION
+     41.  AN OBJECT OF ADMIRATION
+     42.  WAGNER
+     43.  RAGING
+     44.  ROARING
+     45.  SHRIEKING
+     46.  A CUSTOMARY THING
+     47.  ONE OF THE "REST"
+     48.  A CONTRIBUTION BOX
+     49.  CONSPICUOUS
+     50.  TAIL PIECE
+     51.  ONLY A SHRIEK
+     52.  "HE ONLY CRY"
+     53.  LATE COMERS CARED FOR
+     54.  EVIDENTLY DREAMING
+     55.  "TURN ON MORE RAIN"
+     56.  HARRIS ATTENDING THE OPERA
+     57.  PAINTING MY GREAT PICTURE
+     58.  OUR START
+     59.  AN UNKNOWN COSTUME
+     60.  THE TOWER
+     61.  SLOW BUT SURE
+     62.  THE ROBBER CHIEF
+     63.  AN HONEST MAN
+     64.  THE TOWN BY NIGHT
+     65.  GENERATIONS OF BAREFEET
+     66.  OUR BEDROOM
+     67.  PRACTICING
+     68.  PAWING AROUND
+     69.  A NIGHT'S WORK
+     70.  LEAVING HEILBRONN
+     71.  THE CAPTAIN
+     72.  WAITING FOR THE TRAIN
+
+
+
+CONTENTS:
+
+CHAPTER VIII The Great French Duel--Mistaken Notions--Outbreak in the
+French Assembly--Calmness of M Gambetta--I Volunteer as Second--Drawing
+up a Will--The Challenge and its Acceptance--Difficulty in Selection
+of Weapons--Deciding on Distance--M. Gambetta's Firmness--Arranging
+Details--Hiring Hearses--How it was Kept from the Press--March to the
+Field--The Post of Danger--The Duel--The Result--General Rejoicings--The
+only One Hurt--A Firm Resolution
+
+CHAPTER IX At the Theatre--German Ideal--At the Opera--The
+Orchestra--Howlings and Wailings--A Curious Play--One Season of
+Rest--The Wedding Chorus--Germans fond of the Opera--Funerals Needed
+--A Private Party--What I Overheard--A Gentle Girl--A
+Contribution--box--Unpleasantly Conspicuous
+
+CHAPTER X Four Hours with Wagner--A Wonderful Singer, Once--" Only a
+Shriek"--An Ancient Vocalist--"He Only Cry"--Emotional Germans--A
+Wise Custom--Late Comers Rebuked--Heard to the Last--No Interruptions
+Allowed--A Royal Audience--An Eccentric King--Real Rain and More of
+It--Immense Success--"Encore! Encore!"--Magnanimity of the King
+
+CHAPTER XI Lessons in Art--My Great Picture of Heidelberg Castle--Its
+Effect in the Exhibition--Mistaken for a Turner--A Studio--Waiting
+for Orders--A Tramp Decided On--The Start for Heilbronn--Our Walking
+Dress--"Pleasant march to you"--We Take the Rail--German People on
+Board--Not Understood--Speak only German and English--Wimpfen--A Funny
+Tower--Dinner in the Garden--Vigorous Tramping--Ride in a Peasant's
+Cart--A Famous Room
+
+CHAPTER XII The Rathhaus--An Old Robber Knight, Gotz Von
+Berlichingen--His Famous Deeds--The Square Tower--A Curious old
+Church--A Gay Turn--out--A Legend--The Wives' Treasures--A Model
+Waiter--A Miracle Performed--An Old Town--The Worn Stones
+
+CHAPTER XIII Early to Bed--Lonesome--Nervous Excitement--The Room We
+Occupied--Disturbed by a Mouse--Grow Desperate--The Old Remedy--A Shoe
+Thrown--Result--Hopelessly Awake--An Attempt to Dress--A Cruise in the
+Dark--Crawling on the Floor--A General Smash-up--Forty-seven Miles'
+Travel
+
+CHAPTER XIV A Famous Turn--out--Raftsmen on the Neckar--The Log
+Rafts--The Neckar--A Sudden Idea--To Heidelberg on a Raft--Chartering
+a Raft--Gloomy Feelings and Conversation--Delicious Journeying--View of
+the Banks--Compared with Railroading
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+The Great French Duel
+
+[I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]
+
+
+Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain smart people, it
+is in reality one of the most dangerous institutions of our day. Since
+it is always fought in the open air, the combatants are nearly sure
+to catch cold. M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French
+duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at last a
+confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris has expressed
+the opinion that if he goes on dueling for fifteen or twenty years
+more--unless he forms the habit of fighting in a comfortable room where
+damps and draughts cannot intrude--he will eventually endanger his life.
+This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are so stubborn
+in maintaining that the French duel is the most health-giving of
+recreations because of the open-air exercise it affords. And it
+ought also to moderate that foolish talk about French duelists and
+socialist-hated monarchs being the only people who are immoral.
+
+But it is time to get at my subject. As soon as I heard of the late
+fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou in the French
+Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow. I knew it because a long
+personal friendship with M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and
+implacable nature of the man. Vast as are his physical proportions,
+I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate to the remotest
+frontiers of his person.
+
+I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once to him. As I had
+expected, I found the brave fellow steeped in a profound French calm.
+I say French calm, because French calmness and English calmness have
+points of difference.
+
+
+
+He was moving swiftly back and forth among the debris of his furniture,
+now and then staving chance fragments of it across the room with his
+foot; grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth; and
+halting every little while to deposit another handful of his hair on the
+pile which he had been building of it on the table.
+
+He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach to his
+breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four or five times, and
+then placed me in his own arm-chair. As soon as I had got well again, we
+began business at once.
+
+I said I supposed he would wish me to act as his second, and he said,
+"Of course." I said I must be allowed to act under a French name, so
+that I might be shielded from obloquy in my country, in case of fatal
+results. He winced here, probably at the suggestion that dueling was not
+regarded with respect in America. However, he agreed to my requirement.
+This accounts for the fact that in all the newspaper reports M.
+Gambetta's second was apparently a Frenchman.
+
+
+
+First, we drew up my principal's will. I insisted upon this, and stuck
+to my point. I said I had never heard of a man in his right mind going
+out to fight a duel without first making his will. He said he had never
+heard of a man in his right mind doing anything of the kind. When he had
+finished the will, he wished to proceed to a choice of his "last words."
+He wanted to know how the following words, as a dying exclamation,
+struck me:
+
+"I die for my God, for my country, for freedom of speech, for progress,
+and the universal brotherhood of man!"
+
+I objected that this would require too lingering a death; it was a good
+speech for a consumptive, but not suited to the exigencies of the field
+of honor. We wrangled over a good many ante-mortem outbursts, but I
+finally got him to cut his obituary down to this, which he copied into
+his memorandum-book, purposing to get it by heart:
+
+"I DIE THAT FRANCE MIGHT LIVE."
+
+I said that this remark seemed to lack relevancy; but he said relevancy
+was a matter of no consequence in last words, what you wanted was
+thrill.
+
+The next thing in order was the choice of weapons. My principal said he
+was not feeling well, and would leave that and the other details of the
+proposed meeting to me. Therefore I wrote the following note and carried
+it to M. Fourtou's friend:
+
+Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge, and authorizes me to
+propose Plessis-Piquet as the place of meeting; tomorrow morning at
+daybreak as the time; and axes as the weapons.
+
+I am, sir, with great respect,
+
+Mark Twain.
+
+M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered. Then he turned to me,
+and said, with a suggestion of severity in his tone:
+
+"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable result of such a
+meeting as this?"
+
+"Well, for instance, what WOULD it be?"
+
+"Bloodshed!"
+
+"That's about the size of it," I said. "Now, if it is a fair question,
+what was your side proposing to shed?"
+
+I had him there. He saw he had made a blunder, so he hastened to explain
+it away. He said he had spoken jestingly. Then he added that he and his
+principal would enjoy axes, and indeed prefer them, but such weapons
+were barred by the French code, and so I must change my proposal.
+
+I walked the floor, turning the thing over in my mind, and finally it
+occurred to me that Gatling-guns at fifteen paces would be a likely way
+to get a verdict on the field of honor. So I framed this idea into a
+proposition.
+
+But it was not accepted. The code was in the way again. I proposed
+rifles; then double-barreled shotguns; then Colt's navy revolvers. These
+being all rejected, I reflected awhile, and sarcastically suggested
+brickbats at three-quarters of a mile. I always hate to fool away a
+humorous thing on a person who has no perception of humor; and it filled
+me with bitterness when this man went soberly away to submit the last
+proposition to his principal.
+
+He came back presently and said his principal was charmed with the idea
+of brickbats at three-quarters of a mile, but must decline on account of
+the danger to disinterested parties passing between them. Then I said:
+
+"Well, I am at the end of my string, now. Perhaps YOU would be good
+enough to suggest a weapon? Perhaps you have even had one in your mind
+all the time?"
+
+His countenance brightened, and he said with alacrity:
+
+"Oh, without doubt, monsieur!"
+
+
+
+So he fell to hunting in his pockets--pocket after pocket, and he had
+plenty of them--muttering all the while, "Now, what could I have done
+with them?"
+
+At last he was successful. He fished out of his vest pocket a couple
+of little things which I carried to the light and ascertained to be
+pistols. They were single-barreled and silver-mounted, and very dainty
+and pretty. I was not able to speak for emotion. I silently hung one of
+them on my watch-chain, and returned the other. My companion in crime
+now unrolled a postage-stamp containing several cartridges, and gave me
+one of them. I asked if he meant to signify by this that our men were
+to be allowed but one shot apiece. He replied that the French code
+permitted no more. I then begged him to go and suggest a distance, for
+my mind was growing weak and confused under the strain which had been
+put upon it. He named sixty-five yards. I nearly lost my patience. I
+said:
+
+"Sixty-five yards, with these instruments? Squirt-guns would be deadlier
+at fifty. Consider, my friend, you and I are banded together to destroy
+life, not make it eternal."
+
+But with all my persuasions, all my arguments, I was only able to
+get him to reduce the distance to thirty-five yards; and even this
+concession he made with reluctance, and said with a sigh, "I wash my
+hands of this slaughter; on your head be it."
+
+There was nothing for me but to go home to my old lion-heart and tell my
+humiliating story. When I entered, M. Gambetta was laying his last lock
+of hair upon the altar. He sprang toward me, exclaiming:
+
+"You have made the fatal arrangements--I see it in your eye!"
+
+"I have."
+
+His face paled a trifle, and he leaned upon the table for support. He
+breathed thick and heavily for a moment or two, so tumultuous were his
+feelings; then he hoarsely whispered:
+
+"The weapon, the weapon! Quick! what is the weapon?"
+
+"This!" and I displayed that silver-mounted thing. He cast but one
+glance at it, then swooned ponderously to the floor.
+
+
+
+When he came to, he said mournfully:
+
+"The unnatural calm to which I have subjected myself has told upon my
+nerves. But away with weakness! I will confront my fate like a man and a
+Frenchman."
+
+He rose to his feet, and assumed an attitude which for sublimity has
+never been approached by man, and has seldom been surpassed by statues.
+Then he said, in his deep bass tones:
+
+"Behold, I am calm, I am ready; reveal to me the distance."
+
+"Thirty-five yards." ...
+
+
+
+I could not lift him up, of course; but I rolled him over, and poured
+water down his back. He presently came to, and said:
+
+"Thirty-five yards--without a rest? But why ask? Since murder was that
+man's intention, why should he palter with small details? But mark you
+one thing: in my fall the world shall see how the chivalry of France
+meets death."
+
+After a long silence he asked:
+
+"Was nothing said about that man's family standing up with him, as
+an offset to my bulk? But no matter; I would not stoop to make such
+a suggestion; if he is not noble enough to suggest it himself, he is
+welcome to this advantage, which no honorable man would take."
+
+He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection, which lasted some
+minutes; after which he broke silence with:
+
+"The hour--what is the hour fixed for the collision?"
+
+"Dawn, tomorrow."
+
+He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:
+
+"Insanity! I never heard of such a thing. Nobody is abroad at such an
+hour."
+
+"That is the reason I named it. Do you mean to say you want an
+audience?"
+
+"It is no time to bandy words. I am astonished that M. Fourtou should
+ever have agreed to so strange an innovation. Go at once and require a
+later hour."
+
+I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost plunged into the
+arms of M. Fourtou's second. He said:
+
+"I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously objects to the
+hour chosen, and begs you will consent to change it to half past nine."
+
+"Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend is at the service
+of your excellent principal. We agree to the proposed change of time."
+
+"I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he turned to a
+person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir, the hour is altered to
+half past nine." Whereupon M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went
+away. My accomplice continued:
+
+"If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall proceed to the
+field in the same carriage as is customary."
+
+"It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged to you for mentioning
+the surgeons, for I am afraid I should not have thought of them. How
+many shall I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"
+
+"Two is the customary number for each party. I refer to 'chief'
+surgeons; but considering the exalted positions occupied by our clients,
+it will be well and decorous that each of us appoint several consulting
+surgeons, from among the highest in the profession. These will come in
+their own private carriages. Have you engaged a hearse?"
+
+
+
+"Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend to it right
+away. I must seem very ignorant to you; but you must try to overlook
+that, because I have never had any experience of such a swell duel as
+this before. I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific
+coast, but I see now that they were crude affairs. A hearse--sho! we
+used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let anybody cord
+them up and cart them off that wanted to. Have you anything further to
+suggest?"
+
+"Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together, as is
+usual. The subordinates and mutes will go on foot, as is also usual. I
+will see you at eight o'clock in the morning, and we will then arrange
+the order of the procession. I have the honor to bid you a good day."
+
+I returned to my client, who said, "Very well; at what hour is the
+engagement to begin?"
+
+"Half past nine."
+
+"Very good indeed. Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"
+
+"SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can for a moment
+deem me capable of so base a treachery--"
+
+"Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I wounded you? Ah,
+forgive me; I am overloading you with labor. Therefore go on with the
+other details, and drop this one from your list. The bloody-minded
+Fourtou will be sure to attend to it. Or I myself--yes, to make certain,
+I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir--"
+
+"Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble; that other
+second has informed M. Noir."
+
+"H'm! I might have known it. It is just like that Fourtou, who always
+wants to make a display."
+
+
+
+At half past nine in the morning the procession approached the field of
+Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first came our carriage--nobody
+in it but M. Gambetta and myself; then a carriage containing M. Fourtou
+and his second; then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did not
+believe in God, and these had MS. funeral orations projecting from their
+breast pockets; then a carriage containing the head surgeons and their
+cases of instruments; then eight private carriages containing consulting
+surgeons; then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses; then a
+carriage containing the head undertakers; then a train of assistants
+and mutes on foot; and after these came plodding through the fog a long
+procession of camp followers, police, and citizens generally. It was a
+noble turnout, and would have made a fine display if we had had thinner
+weather.
+
+There was no conversation. I spoke several times to my principal, but
+I judge he was not aware of it, for he always referred to his note-book
+and muttered absently, "I die that France might live."
+
+Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off the thirty-five
+yards, and then drew lots for choice of position. This latter was but
+an ornamental ceremony, for all the choices were alike in such weather.
+These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal and asked him
+if he was ready. He spread himself out to his full width, and said in a
+stern voice, "Ready! Let the batteries be charged."
+
+The loading process was done in the presence of duly constituted
+witnesses. We considered it best to perform this delicate service with
+the assistance of a lantern, on account of the state of the weather. We
+now placed our men.
+
+At this point the police noticed that the public had massed themselves
+together on the right and left of the field; they therefore begged a
+delay, while they should put these poor people in a place of safety.
+
+The request was granted.
+
+The police having ordered the two multitudes to take positions behind
+the duelists, we were once more ready. The weather growing still more
+opaque, it was agreed between myself and the other second that before
+giving the fatal signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable
+the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.
+
+I now returned to my principal, and was distressed to observe that he
+had lost a good deal of his spirit. I tried my best to hearten him. I
+said, "Indeed, sir, things are not as bad as they seem. Considering
+the character of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed, the
+generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog, and the added
+fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed and the other cross-eyed and
+near-sighted, it seems to me that this conflict need not necessarily be
+fatal. There are chances that both of you may survive. Therefore, cheer
+up; do not be downhearted."
+
+This speech had so good an effect that my principal immediately
+stretched forth his hand and said, "I am myself again; give me the
+weapon."
+
+I laid it, all lonely and forlorn, in the center of the vast solitude
+of his palm. He gazed at it and shuddered. And still mournfully
+contemplating it, he murmured in a broken voice:
+
+"Alas, it is not death I dread, but mutilation."
+
+I heartened him once more, and with such success that he presently
+said, "Let the tragedy begin. Stand at my back; do not desert me in this
+solemn hour, my friend."
+
+I gave him my promise. I now assisted him to point his pistol toward the
+spot where I judged his adversary to be standing, and cautioned him to
+listen well and further guide himself by my fellow-second's whoop.
+Then I propped myself against M. Gambetta's back, and raised a rousing
+"Whoop-ee!" This was answered from out the far distances of the fog, and
+I immediately shouted:
+
+"One--two--three--FIRE!"
+
+Two little sounds like SPIT! SPIT! broke upon my ear, and in the same
+instant I was crushed to the earth under a mountain of flesh. Bruised
+as I was, I was still able to catch a faint accent from above, to this
+effect:
+
+
+
+"I die for... for ... perdition take it, what IS it I die for? ... oh,
+yes--FRANCE! I die that France may live!"
+
+The surgeons swarmed around with their probes in their hands, and
+applied their microscopes to the whole area of M. Gambetta's person,
+with the happy result of finding nothing in the nature of a wound. Then
+a scene ensued which was in every way gratifying and inspiriting.
+
+The two gladiators fell upon each other's neck, with floods of proud and
+happy tears; that other second embraced me; the surgeons, the
+orators, the undertakers, the police, everybody embraced, everybody
+congratulated, everybody cried, and the whole atmosphere was filled with
+praise and with joy unspeakable.
+
+It seems to me then that I would rather be a hero of a French duel than
+a crowned and sceptered monarch.
+
+
+
+When the commotion had somewhat subsided, the body of surgeons held a
+consultation, and after a good deal of debate decided that with proper
+care and nursing there was reason to believe that I would survive my
+injuries. My internal hurts were deemed the most serious, since it was
+apparent that a broken rib had penetrated my left lung, and that many of
+my organs had been pressed out so far to one side or the other of where
+they belonged, that it was doubtful if they would ever learn to perform
+their functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities. They then
+set my left arm in two places, pulled my right hip into its socket
+again, and re-elevated my nose. I was an object of great interest,
+and even admiration; and many sincere and warm-hearted persons had
+themselves introduced to me, and said they were proud to know the only
+man who had been hurt in a French duel in forty years.
+
+I was placed in an ambulance at the very head of the procession;
+and thus with gratifying 'ECLAT I was marched into Paris, the most
+conspicuous figure in that great spectacle, and deposited at the
+hospital.
+
+
+
+The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred upon me. However,
+few escape that distinction.
+
+Such is the true version of the most memorable private conflict of the
+age.
+
+I have no complaints to make against any one. I acted for myself, and I
+can stand the consequences.
+
+Without boasting, I think I may say I am not afraid to stand before a
+modern French duelist, but as long as I keep in my right mind I will
+never consent to stand behind one again.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+
+[What the Beautiful Maiden Said]
+
+
+One day we took the train and went down to Mannheim to see "King Lear"
+played in German. It was a mistake. We sat in our seats three whole
+hours and never understood anything but the thunder and lightning; and
+even that was reversed to suit German ideas, for the thunder came first
+and the lightning followed after.
+
+The behavior of the audience was perfect. There were no rustlings, or
+whisperings, or other little disturbances; each act was listened to in
+silence, and the applauding was done after the curtain was down. The
+doors opened at half past four, the play began promptly at half past
+five, and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were in their
+seats, and quiet reigned. A German gentleman in the train had said that
+a Shakespearian play was an appreciated treat in Germany and that
+we should find the house filled. It was true; all the six tiers were
+filled, and remained so to the end--which suggested that it is not only
+balcony people who like Shakespeare in Germany, but those of the pit and
+gallery, too.
+
+Another time, we went to Mannheim and attended a shivaree--otherwise an
+opera--the one called "Lohengrin." The banging and slamming and booming
+and crashing were something beyond belief. The racking and pitiless pain
+of it remains stored up in my memory alongside the memory of the time
+that I had my teeth fixed.
+
+
+
+There were circumstances which made it necessary for me to stay through
+the four hours to the end, and I stayed; but the recollection of that
+long, dragging, relentless season of suffering is indestructible. To
+have to endure it in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder.
+I was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers, of the two
+sexes, and this compelled repression; yet at times the pain was so
+exquisite that I could hardly keep the tears back.
+
+
+
+At those times, as the howlings and wailings and shrieking of the
+singers, and the ragings and roarings and explosions of the vast
+orchestra rose higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer and
+fiercer, I could have cried if I had been alone. Those strangers would
+not have been surprised to see a man do such a thing who was being
+gradually skinned, but they would have marveled at it here, and made
+remarks about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the present case
+which was an advantage over being skinned.
+
+
+
+There was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act, and I
+could have gone out and rested during that time, but I could not trust
+myself to do it, for I felt that I should desert to stay out. There was
+another wait of half an hour toward nine o'clock, but I had gone through
+so much by that time that I had no spirit left, and so had no desire but
+to be let alone.
+
+
+
+I do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there were like
+me, for, indeed, they were not. Whether it was that they naturally
+liked that noise, or whether it was that they had learned to like it
+by getting used to it, I did not at the time know; but they did like
+it--this was plain enough. While it was going on they sat and looked as
+rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs; and whenever
+the curtain fell they rose to their feet, in one solid mighty multitude,
+and the air was snowed thick with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes
+of applause swept the place. This was not comprehensible to me. Of
+course, there were many people there who were not under compulsion to
+stay; yet the tiers were as full at the close as they had been at the
+beginning. This showed that the people liked it.
+
+It was a curious sort of a play. In the manner of costumes and scenery
+it was fine and showy enough; but there was not much action. That is
+to say, there was not much really done, it was only talked about; and
+always violently. It was what one might call a narrative play. Everybody
+had a narrative and a grievance, and none were reasonable about it, but
+all in an offensive and ungovernable state. There was little of that
+sort of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand down by
+the footlights, warbling, with blended voices, and keep holding out
+their arms toward each other and drawing them back and spreading both
+hands over first one breast and then the other with a shake and a
+pressure--no, it was every rioter for himself and no blending. Each sang
+his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by the whole orchestra of
+sixty instruments, and when this had continued for some time, and one
+was hoping they might come to an understanding and modify the noise, a
+great chorus composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth,
+and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, I lived over again all
+that I suffered the time the orphan asylum burned down.
+
+
+
+We only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven's sweet ecstasy
+and peace during all this long and diligent and acrimonious reproduction
+of the other place. This was while a gorgeous procession of people
+marched around and around, in the third act, and sang the Wedding
+Chorus. To my untutored ear that was music--almost divine music. While
+my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm of those gracious sounds,
+it seemed to me that I could almost resuffer the torments which had
+gone before, in order to be so healed again. There is where the deep
+ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed. It deals so largely in pain
+that its scattered delights are prodigiously augmented by the contrasts.
+A pretty air in an opera is prettier there than it could be anywhere
+else, I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he
+would elsewhere.
+
+I have since found out that there is nothing the Germans like so much as
+an opera. They like it, not in a mild and moderate way, but with their
+whole hearts. This is a legitimate result of habit and education. Our
+nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt. One in fifty of
+those who attend our operas likes it already, perhaps, but I think a
+good many of the other forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and
+the rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it. The latter
+usually hum the airs while they are being sung, so that their neighbors
+may perceive that they have been to operas before. The funerals of these
+do not occur often enough.
+
+
+
+A gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl of seventeen sat
+right in front of us that night at the Mannheim opera. These people
+talked, between the acts, and I understood them, though I understood
+nothing that was uttered on the distant stage. At first they were
+guarded in their talk, but after they had heard my agent and me
+conversing in English they dropped their reserve and I picked up many
+of their little confidences; no, I mean many of HER little
+confidences--meaning the elder party--for the young girl only listened,
+and gave assenting nods, but never said a word. How pretty she was,
+and how sweet she was! I wished she would speak. But evidently she was
+absorbed in her own thoughts, her own young-girl dreams, and found a
+dearer pleasure in silence. But she was not dreaming sleepy dreams--no,
+she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still a moment. She was
+an enchanting study. Her gown was of a soft white silky stuff that clung
+to her round young figure like a fish's skin, and it was rippled over
+with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace; she had deep, tender
+eyes, with long, curved lashes; and she had peachy cheeks, and a
+dimpled chin, and such a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so
+dovelike, so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching. For long
+hours I did mightily wish she would speak. And at last she did; the red
+lips parted, and out leaps her thought--and with such a guileless and
+pretty enthusiasm, too: "Auntie, I just KNOW I've got five hundred fleas
+on me!"
+
+That was probably over the average. Yes, it must have been very much
+over the average. The average at that time in the Grand Duchy of Baden
+was forty-five to a young person (when alone), according to the official
+estimate of the home secretary for that year; the average for older
+people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a wholesome young
+girl came into the presence of her elders she immediately lowered their
+average and raised her own. She became a sort of contribution-box.
+
+
+
+This dear young thing in the theater had been sitting there
+unconsciously taking up a collection. Many a skinny old being in our
+neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.
+
+In that large audience, that night, there were eight very conspicuous
+people. These were ladies who had their hats or bonnets on. What a
+blessed thing it would be if a lady could make herself conspicuous in
+our theaters by wearing her hat.
+
+
+
+It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies and gentlemen to take bonnets,
+hats, overcoats, canes, or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in
+Mannheim this rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely
+made up of people from a distance, and among these were always a few
+timid ladies who were afraid that if they had to go into an anteroom to
+get their things when the play was over, they would miss their train.
+But the great mass of those who came from a distance always ran the risk
+and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train to a breach of good
+manners and the discomfort of being unpleasantly conspicuous during a
+stretch of three or four hours.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+
+[How Wagner Operas Bang Along]
+
+
+Three or four hours. That is a long time to sit in one place, whether
+one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner's operas bang along for
+six whole hours on a stretch! But the people sit there and enjoy it all,
+and wish it would last longer. A German lady in Munich told me that a
+person could not like Wagner's music at first, but must go through the
+deliberate process of learning to like it--then he would have his sure
+reward; for when he had learned to like it he would hunger for it and
+never be able to get enough of it. She said that six hours of Wagner was
+by no means too much. She said that this composer had made a complete
+revolution in music and was burying the old masters one by one. And
+she said that Wagner's operas differed from all others in one notable
+respect, and that was that they were not merely spotted with music here
+and there, but were ALL music, from the first strain to the last. This
+surprised me. I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found
+hardly ANY music in it except the Wedding Chorus. She said "Lohengrin"
+was noisier than Wagner's other operas, but that if I would keep on
+going to see it I would find by and by that it was all music, and
+therefore would then enjoy it. I COULD have said, "But would you advise
+a person to deliberately practice having a toothache in the pit of his
+stomach for a couple of years in order that he might then come to enjoy
+it?" But I reserved that remark.
+
+This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor who had performed in
+a Wagner opera the night before, and went on to enlarge upon his old and
+prodigious fame, and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the
+princely houses of Germany. Here was another surprise. I had attended
+that very opera, in the person of my agent, and had made close and
+accurate observations. So I said:
+
+"Why, madam, MY experience warrants me in stating that that tenor's
+voice is not a voice at all, but only a shriek--the shriek of a hyena."
+
+
+
+"That is very true," she said; "he cannot sing now; it is already many
+years that he has lost his voice, but in other times he sang, yes,
+divinely! So whenever he comes now, you shall see, yes, that the theater
+will not hold the people. JAWOHL BEI GOTT! his voice is WUNDERSCHOEN in
+that past time."
+
+I said she was discovering to me a kindly trait in the Germans which
+was worth emulating. I said that over the water we were not quite so
+generous; that with us, when a singer had lost his voice and a jumper
+had lost his legs, these parties ceased to draw. I said I had been to
+the opera in Hanover, once, and in Mannheim once, and in Munich
+(through my authorized agent) once, and this large experience had nearly
+persuaded me that the Germans PREFERRED singers who couldn't sing. This
+was not such a very extravagant speech, either, for that burly Mannheim
+tenor's praises had been the talk of all Heidelberg for a week before
+his performance took place--yet his voice was like the distressing noise
+which a nail makes when you screech it across a window-pane. I said so
+to Heidelberg friends the next day, and they said, in the calmest and
+simplest way, that that was very true, but that in earlier times his
+voice HAD been wonderfully fine. And the tenor in Hanover was just
+another example of this sort. The English-speaking German gentleman who
+went with me to the opera there was brimming with enthusiasm over that
+tenor. He said:
+
+"ACH GOTT! a great man! You shall see him. He is so celebrate in all
+Germany--and he has a pension, yes, from the government. He not obliged
+to sing now, only twice every year; but if he not sing twice each year
+they take him his pension away."
+
+Very well, we went. When the renowned old tenor appeared, I got a nudge
+and an excited whisper:
+
+"Now you see him!"
+
+But the "celebrate" was an astonishing disappointment to me. If he
+had been behind a screen I should have supposed they were performing a
+surgical operation on him. I looked at my friend--to my great surprise
+he seemed intoxicated with pleasure, his eyes were dancing with eager
+delight. When the curtain at last fell, he burst into the stormiest
+applause, and kept it up--as did the whole house--until the afflictive
+tenor had come three times before the curtain to make his bow. While the
+glowing enthusiast was swabbing the perspiration from his face, I said:
+
+"I don't mean the least harm, but really, now, do you think he can
+sing?"
+
+"Him? NO! GOTT IM HIMMEL, ABER, how he has been able to sing twenty-five
+years ago?" [Then pensively.] "ACH, no, NOW he not sing any more, he
+only cry. When he think he sing, now, he not sing at all, no, he only
+make like a cat which is unwell."
+
+
+
+Where and how did we get the idea that the Germans are a stolid,
+phlegmatic race? In truth, they are widely removed from that. They are
+warm-hearted, emotional, impulsive, enthusiastic, their tears come at
+the mildest touch, and it is not hard to move them to laughter. They are
+the very children of impulse. We are cold and self-contained, compared
+to the Germans. They hug and kiss and cry and shout and dance and sing;
+and where we use one loving, petting expression, they pour out a score.
+Their language is full of endearing diminutives; nothing that they love
+escapes the application of a petting diminutive--neither the house, nor
+the dog, nor the horse, nor the grandmother, nor any other creature,
+animate or inanimate.
+
+In the theaters at Hanover, Hamburg, and Mannheim, they had a wise
+custom. The moment the curtain went up, the light in the body of the
+house went down. The audience sat in the cool gloom of a deep twilight,
+which greatly enhanced the glowing splendors of the stage. It saved gas,
+too, and people were not sweated to death.
+
+When I saw "King Lear" played, nobody was allowed to see a scene
+shifted; if there was nothing to be done but slide a forest out of the
+way and expose a temple beyond, one did not see that forest split itself
+in the middle and go shrieking away, with the accompanying disenchanting
+spectacle of the hands and heels of the impelling impulse--no, the
+curtain was always dropped for an instant--one heard not the least
+movement behind it--but when it went up, the next instant, the forest
+was gone. Even when the stage was being entirely reset, one heard no
+noise. During the whole time that "King Lear" was playing the curtain
+was never down two minutes at any one time. The orchestra played until
+the curtain was ready to go up for the first time, then they departed
+for the evening. Where the stage waits never reach two minutes there is
+no occasion for music. I had never seen this two-minute business between
+acts but once before, and that was when the "Shaughraun" was played at
+Wallack's.
+
+I was at a concert in Munich one night, the people were streaming in,
+the clock-hand pointed to seven, the music struck up, and instantly
+all movement in the body of the house ceased--nobody was standing, or
+walking up the aisles, or fumbling with a seat, the stream of incomers
+had suddenly dried up at its source. I listened undisturbed to a piece
+of music that was fifteen minutes long--always expecting some tardy
+ticket-holders to come crowding past my knees, and being continuously
+and pleasantly disappointed--but when the last note was struck, here
+came the stream again. You see, they had made those late comers wait in
+the comfortable waiting-parlor from the time the music had begun until
+it was ended.
+
+
+
+It was the first time I had ever seen this sort of criminals denied the
+privilege of destroying the comfort of a house full of their betters.
+Some of these were pretty fine birds, but no matter, they had to tarry
+outside in the long parlor under the inspection of a double rank of
+liveried footmen and waiting-maids who supported the two walls with
+their backs and held the wraps and traps of their masters and mistresses
+on their arms.
+
+We had no footmen to hold our things, and it was not permissible to take
+them into the concert-room; but there were some men and women to take
+charge of them for us. They gave us checks for them and charged a fixed
+price, payable in advance--five cents.
+
+In Germany they always hear one thing at an opera which has never yet
+been heard in America, perhaps--I mean the closing strain of a fine solo
+or duet. We always smash into it with an earthquake of applause. The
+result is that we rob ourselves of the sweetest part of the treat; we
+get the whiskey, but we don't get the sugar in the bottom of the glass.
+
+Our way of scattering applause along through an act seems to me to be
+better than the Mannheim way of saving it all up till the act is ended.
+I do not see how an actor can forget himself and portray hot passion
+before a cold still audience. I should think he would feel foolish. It
+is a pain to me to this day, to remember how that old German Lear raged
+and wept and howled around the stage, with never a response from that
+hushed house, never a single outburst till the act was ended. To
+me there was something unspeakably uncomfortable in the solemn dead
+silences that always followed this old person's tremendous outpourings
+of his feelings. I could not help putting myself in his place--I thought
+I knew how sick and flat he felt during those silences, because I
+remembered a case which came under my observation once, and which--but I
+will tell the incident:
+
+One evening on board a Mississippi steamboat, a boy of ten years lay
+asleep in a berth--a long, slim-legged boy, he was, encased in quite
+a short shirt; it was the first time he had ever made a trip on a
+steamboat, and so he was troubled, and scared, and had gone to bed
+with his head filled with impending snaggings, and explosions, and
+conflagrations, and sudden death. About ten o'clock some twenty ladies
+were sitting around about the ladies' saloon, quietly reading, sewing,
+embroidering, and so on, and among them sat a sweet, benignant old dame
+with round spectacles on her nose and her busy knitting-needles in her
+hands. Now all of a sudden, into the midst of this peaceful scene burst
+that slim-shanked boy in the brief shirt, wild-eyed, erect-haired, and
+shouting, "Fire, fire! JUMP AND RUN, THE BOAT'S AFIRE AND THERE AIN'T A
+MINUTE TO LOSE!" All those ladies looked sweetly up and smiled, nobody
+stirred, the old lady pulled her spectacles down, looked over them, and
+said, gently:
+
+"But you mustn't catch cold, child. Run and put on your breastpin, and
+then come and tell us all about it."
+
+It was a cruel chill to give to a poor little devil's gushing vehemence.
+He was expecting to be a sort of hero--the creator of a wild panic--and
+here everybody sat and smiled a mocking smile, and an old woman made fun
+of his bugbear. I turned and crept away--for I was that boy--and never
+even cared to discover whether I had dreamed the fire or actually seen
+it.
+
+
+
+I am told that in a German concert or opera, they hardly ever encore
+a song; that though they may be dying to hear it again, their good
+breeding usually preserves them against requiring the repetition.
+
+Kings may encore; that is quite another matter; it delights everybody to
+see that the King is pleased; and as to the actor encored, his pride and
+gratification are simply boundless. Still, there are circumstances in
+which even a royal encore--
+
+But it is better to illustrate. The King of Bavaria is a poet, and has a
+poet's eccentricities--with the advantage over all other poets of being
+able to gratify them, no matter what form they may take. He is fond
+of opera, but not fond of sitting in the presence of an audience;
+therefore, it has sometimes occurred, in Munich, that when an opera has
+been concluded and the players were getting off their paint and finery,
+a command has come to them to get their paint and finery on again.
+Presently the King would arrive, solitary and alone, and the players
+would begin at the beginning and do the entire opera over again with
+only that one individual in the vast solemn theater for audience. Once
+he took an odd freak into his head. High up and out of sight, over
+the prodigious stage of the court theater is a maze of interlacing
+water-pipes, so pierced that in case of fire, innumerable little
+thread-like streams of water can be caused to descend; and in case
+of need, this discharge can be augmented to a pouring flood. American
+managers might want to make a note of that. The King was sole audience.
+The opera proceeded, it was a piece with a storm in it; the mimic
+thunder began to mutter, the mimic wind began to wail and sough, and
+the mimic rain to patter. The King's interest rose higher and higher; it
+developed into enthusiasm. He cried out:
+
+"It is very, very good, indeed! But I will have real rain! Turn on the
+water!"
+
+The manager pleaded for a reversal of the command; said it would ruin
+the costly scenery and the splendid costumes, but the King cried:
+
+"No matter, no matter, I will have real rain! Turn on the water!"
+
+So the real rain was turned on and began to descend in gossamer lances
+to the mimic flower-beds and gravel walks of the stage. The richly
+dressed actresses and actors tripped about singing bravely and
+pretending not to mind it. The King was delighted--his enthusiasm grew
+higher. He cried out:
+
+"Bravo, bravo! More thunder! more lightning! turn on more rain!"
+
+
+
+The thunder boomed, the lightning glared, the storm-winds raged, the
+deluge poured down. The mimic royalty on the stage, with their soaked
+satins clinging to their bodies, slopped about ankle-deep in water,
+warbling their sweetest and best, the fiddlers under the eaves of the
+stage sawed away for dear life, with the cold overflow spouting down the
+backs of their necks, and the dry and happy King sat in his lofty box
+and wore his gloves to ribbons applauding.
+
+"More yet!" cried the King; "more yet--let loose all the thunder, turn
+on all the water! I will hang the man that raises an umbrella!"
+
+When this most tremendous and effective storm that had ever been
+produced in any theater was at last over, the King's approbation was
+measureless. He cried:
+
+"Magnificent, magnificent! ENCORE! Do it again!"
+
+But the manager succeeded in persuading him to recall the encore, and
+said the company would feel sufficiently rewarded and complimented
+in the mere fact that the encore was desired by his Majesty, without
+fatiguing him with a repetition to gratify their own vanity.
+
+During the remainder of the act the lucky performers were those whose
+parts required changes of dress; the others were a soaked, bedraggled,
+and uncomfortable lot, but in the last degree picturesque. The stage
+scenery was ruined, trap-doors were so swollen that they wouldn't work
+for a week afterward, the fine costumes were spoiled, and no end of
+minor damages were done by that remarkable storm.
+
+It was a royal idea--that storm--and royally carried out. But observe
+the moderation of the King; he did not insist upon his encore. If he had
+been a gladsome, unreflecting American opera-audience, he probably would
+have had his storm repeated and repeated until he drowned all those
+people.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+
+[I Paint a "Turner"]
+
+
+The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg. We had a skilled
+trainer, and under his instructions we were getting our legs in the
+right condition for the contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well
+satisfied with the progress which we had made in the German language,
+[1. See Appendix D for information concerning this fearful tongue.] and
+more than satisfied with what we had accomplished in art. We had had the
+best instructors in drawing and painting in Germany--Haemmerling, Vogel,
+Mueller, Dietz, and Schumann. Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
+Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do still-life,
+and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing course in two
+specialties--battle-pieces and shipwrecks. Whatever I am in Art I owe to
+these men. I have something of the manner of each and all of them;
+but they all said that I had also a manner of my own, and that it
+was conspicuous. They said there was a marked individuality about my
+style--insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest type of a dog, I
+should be sure to throw a something into the aspect of that dog which
+would keep him from being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
+Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings, but I could not; I
+was afraid that my masters' partiality for me, and pride in me, biased
+their judgment. So I resolved to make a test. Privately, and unknown to
+any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle Illuminated"--my
+first really important work in oils--and had it hung up in the midst
+of a wilderness of oil-pictures in the Art Exhibition, with no name
+attached to it. To my great gratification it was instantly recognized
+as mine. All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
+neighboring localities to visit it. It made more stir than any other
+work in the Exhibition. But the most gratifying thing of all was, that
+chance strangers, passing through, who had not heard of my picture, were
+not only drawn to it, as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the
+gallery, but always took it for a "Turner."
+
+
+
+Apparently nobody had ever done that. There were ruined castles on the
+overhanging cliffs and crags all the way; these were said to have their
+legends, like those on the Rhine, and what was better still, they had
+never been in print. There was nothing in the books about that lovely
+region; it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for the
+literary pioneer.
+
+Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
+walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought to us.
+A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us. We went around one
+evening and bade good-by to our friends, and afterward had a little
+farewell banquet at the hotel. We got to bed early, for we wanted to
+make an early start, so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
+
+We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh and vigorous, and took
+a hearty breakfast, then plunged down through the leafy arcades of the
+Castle grounds, toward the town. What a glorious summer morning it was,
+and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance, and how the birds did
+sing! It was just the time for a tramp through the woods and mountains.
+
+
+
+We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the sun off; gray
+knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls; leathern gaiters buttoned
+tight from knee down to ankle; high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced.
+Each man had an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung over
+his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand and a sun-umbrella
+in the other. Around our hats were wound many folds of soft white
+muslin, with the ends hanging and flapping down our backs--an idea
+brought from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe. Harris
+carried the little watch-like machine called a "pedometer," whose
+office is to keep count of a man's steps and tell how far he has walked.
+Everybody stopped to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant
+march to you!"
+
+
+
+When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to within five
+miles of Heilbronn. The train was just starting, so we jumped aboard and
+went tearing away in splendid spirits. It was agreed all around that we
+had done wisely, because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the
+Neckar as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways. There
+were some nice German people in our compartment. I got to talking some
+pretty private matters presently, and Harris became nervous; so he
+nudged me and said:
+
+"Speak in German--these Germans may understand English."
+
+I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there was not a
+German in that party who did not understand English perfectly. It is
+curious how widespread our language is in Germany. After a while some of
+those folks got out and a German gentleman and his two young daughters
+got in. I spoke in German of one of the latter several times, but
+without result. Finally she said:
+
+"ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"--or words to that effect. That
+is, "I don't understand any language but German and English."
+
+And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister spoke English.
+So after that we had all the talk we wanted; and we wanted a good deal,
+for they were agreeable people. They were greatly interested in our
+customs; especially the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
+They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we must be going
+to Switzerland or some other rugged country; and asked us if we did not
+find the walking pretty fatiguing in such warm weather. But we said no.
+
+We reached Wimpfen--I think it was Wimpfen--in about three hours, and
+got out, not the least tired; found a good hotel and ordered beer and
+dinner--then took a stroll through the venerable old village. It was
+very picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting. It had
+queer houses five hundred years old in it, and a military tower 115 feet
+high, which had stood there more than ten centuries. I made a little
+sketch of it. I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
+
+
+
+I think the original was better than the copy, because it had more
+windows in it and the grass stood up better and had a brisker look.
+There was none around the tower, though; I composed the grass myself,
+from studies I made in a field by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time. The
+man on top, looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
+he could not be made smaller, conveniently. I wanted him there, and I
+wanted him visible, so I thought out a way to manage it; I composed the
+picture from two points of view; the spectator is to observe the man
+from bout where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself from
+the ground. This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy. [Figure 2]
+
+Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses of stone--moldy
+and damaged things, bearing life-size stone figures. The two thieves
+were dressed in the fanciful court costumes of the middle of the
+sixteenth century, while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a
+cloth around the loins.
+
+We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging to the hotel
+and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke, we went to bed. We had
+a refreshing nap, then got up about three in the afternoon and put
+on our panoply. As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town, we
+overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and ends of cabbages
+and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn by a small cow and a smaller
+donkey yoked together. It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into
+Heilbronn before dark--five miles, or possibly it was seven.
+
+
+
+We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old robber-knight
+and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen, abode in after he got out of
+captivity in the Square Tower of Heilbronn between three hundred and
+fifty and four hundred years ago. Harris and I occupied the same room
+which he had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off the
+walls yet. The furniture was quaint old carved stuff, full four hundred
+years old, and some of the smells were over a thousand. There was a hook
+in the wall, which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to hang
+his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed. This room was very
+large--it might be called immense--and it was on the first floor; which
+means it was in the second story, for in Europe the houses are so
+high that they do not count the first story, else they would get tired
+climbing before they got to the top. The wallpaper was a fiery red, with
+huge gold figures in it, well smirched by time, and it covered all the
+doors. These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures of the
+paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed one had to go feeling
+and searching along the wall to find them. There was a stove in the
+corner--one of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things that
+looks like a monument and keeps you thinking of death when you ought to
+be enjoying your travels. The windows looked out on a little alley, and
+over that into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear of
+some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds in the room,
+one in one end, the other in the other, about an old-fashioned
+brass-mounted, single-barreled pistol-shot apart. They were fully
+as narrow as the usual German bed, too, and had the German bed's
+ineradicable habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time you
+forgot yourself and went to sleep.
+
+A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the center of the room;
+while the waiters were getting ready to serve our dinner on it we
+all went out to see the renowned clock on the front of the municipal
+buildings.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+
+[What the Wives Saved]
+
+
+The RATHHAUS, or municipal building, is of the quaintest and most
+picturesque Middle-Age architecture. It has a massive portico and steps,
+before it, heavily balustraded, and adorned with life-sized rusty iron
+knights in complete armor. The clock-face on the front of the building
+is very large and of curious pattern. Ordinarily, a gilded angel
+strikes the hour on a big bell with a hammer; as the striking ceases, a
+life-sized figure of Time raises its hour-glass and turns it; two golden
+rams advance and butt each other; a gilded cock lifts its wings; but the
+main features are two great angels, who stand on each side of the dial
+with long horns at their lips; it was said that they blew melodious
+blasts on these horns every hour--but they did not do it for us. We were
+told, later, that they blew only at night, when the town was still.
+
+Within the RATHHAUS were a number of huge wild boars' heads, preserved,
+and mounted on brackets along the wall; they bore inscriptions telling
+who killed them and how many hundred years ago it was done. One room in
+the building was devoted to the preservation of ancient archives. There
+they showed us no end of aged documents; some were signed by Popes,
+some by Tilly and other great generals, and one was a letter written and
+subscribed by Goetz von Berlichingen in Heilbronn in 1519 just after his
+release from the Square Tower.
+
+
+
+This fine old robber-knight was a devoutly and sincerely religious
+man, hospitable, charitable to the poor, fearless in fight, active,
+enterprising, and possessed of a large and generous nature. He had in
+him a quality of being able to overlook moderate injuries, and being
+able to forgive and forget mortal ones as soon as he had soundly
+trounced the authors of them. He was prompt to take up any poor devil's
+quarrel and risk his neck to right him. The common folk held him dear,
+and his memory is still green in ballad and tradition. He used to go on
+the highway and rob rich wayfarers; and other times he would swoop down
+from his high castle on the hills of the Neckar and capture passing
+cargoes of merchandise. In his memoirs he piously thanks the Giver of
+all Good for remembering him in his needs and delivering sundry such
+cargoes into his hands at times when only special providences could have
+relieved him. He was a doughty warrior and found a deep joy in battle.
+In an assault upon a stronghold in Bavaria when he was only twenty-three
+years old, his right hand was shot away, but he was so interested in the
+fight that he did not observe it for a while. He said that the iron hand
+which was made for him afterward, and which he wore for more than half a
+century, was nearly as clever a member as the fleshy one had been. I was
+glad to get a facsimile of the letter written by this fine old German
+Robin Hood, though I was not able to read it. He was a better artist
+with his sword than with his pen.
+
+We went down by the river and saw the Square Tower. It was a very
+venerable structure, very strong, and very ornamental. There was no
+opening near the ground. They had to use a ladder to get into it, no
+doubt.
+
+We visited the principal church, also--a curious old structure, with a
+towerlike spire adorned with all sorts of grotesque images. The inner
+walls of the church were placarded with large mural tablets of copper,
+bearing engraved inscriptions celebrating the merits of old Heilbronn
+worthies of two or three centuries ago, and also bearing rudely painted
+effigies of themselves and their families tricked out in the queer
+costumes of those days. The head of the family sat in the foreground,
+and beyond him extended a sharply receding and diminishing row of
+sons; facing him sat his wife, and beyond her extended a low row of
+diminishing daughters. The family was usually large, but the perspective
+bad.
+
+Then we hired the hack and the horse which Goetz von Berlichingen used
+to use, and drove several miles into the country to visit the place
+called WEIBERTREU--Wife's Fidelity I suppose it means. It was a feudal
+castle of the Middle Ages. When we reached its neighborhood we found
+it was beautifully situated, but on top of a mound, or hill, round and
+tolerably steep, and about two hundred feet high. Therefore, as the sun
+was blazing hot, we did not climb up there, but took the place on trust,
+and observed it from a distance while the horse leaned up against a
+fence and rested. The place has no interest except that which is lent it
+by its legend, which is a very pretty one--to this effect:
+
+THE LEGEND
+
+In the Middle Ages, a couple of young dukes, brothers, took opposite
+sides in one of the wars, the one fighting for the Emperor, the other
+against him. One of them owned the castle and village on top of the
+mound which I have been speaking of, and in his absence his brother
+came with his knights and soldiers and began a siege. It was a long and
+tedious business, for the people made a stubborn and faithful defense.
+But at last their supplies ran out and starvation began its work;
+more fell by hunger than by the missiles of the enemy. They by and
+by surrendered, and begged for charitable terms. But the beleaguering
+prince was so incensed against them for their long resistance that he
+said he would spare none but the women and children--all men should be
+put to the sword without exception, and all their goods destroyed. Then
+the women came and fell on their knees and begged for the lives of their
+husbands.
+
+"No," said the prince, "not a man of them shall escape alive; you
+yourselves shall go with your children into houseless and friendless
+banishment; but that you may not starve I grant you this one grace,
+that each woman may bear with her from this place as much of her most
+valuable property as she is able to carry."
+
+Very well, presently the gates swung open and out filed those women
+carrying their HUSBANDS on their shoulders. The besiegers, furious at
+the trick, rushed forward to slaughter the men, but the Duke stepped
+between and said:
+
+"No, put up your swords--a prince's word is inviolable."
+
+When we got back to the hotel, King Arthur's Round Table was ready for
+us in its white drapery, and the head waiter and his first assistant, in
+swallow-tails and white cravats, brought in the soup and the hot plates
+at once.
+
+Mr. X had ordered the dinner, and when the wine came on, he picked up
+a bottle, glanced at the label, and then turned to the grave, the
+melancholy, the sepulchral head waiter and said it was not the sort of
+wine he had asked for. The head waiter picked up the bottle, cast his
+undertaker-eye on it and said:
+
+"It is true; I beg pardon." Then he turned on his subordinate and calmly
+said, "Bring another label."
+
+
+
+At the same time he slid the present label off with his hand and laid it
+aside; it had been newly put on, its paste was still wet. When the new
+label came, he put it on; our French wine being now turned into German
+wine, according to desire, the head waiter went blandly about his other
+duties, as if the working of this sort of miracle was a common and easy
+thing to him.
+
+Mr. X said he had not known, before, that there were people honest
+enough to do this miracle in public, but he was aware that thousands
+upon thousands of labels were imported into America from Europe every
+year, to enable dealers to furnish to their customers in a quiet and
+inexpensive way all the different kinds of foreign wines they might
+require.
+
+We took a turn around the town, after dinner, and found it fully as
+interesting in the moonlight as it had been in the daytime. The streets
+were narrow and roughly paved, and there was not a sidewalk or a
+street-lamp anywhere. The dwellings were centuries old, and vast enough
+for hotels. They widened all the way up; the stories projected further
+and further forward and aside as they ascended, and the long rows
+of lighted windows, filled with little bits of panes, curtained with
+figured white muslin and adorned outside with boxes of flowers, made a
+pretty effect.
+
+
+
+The moon was bright, and the light and shadow very strong; and nothing
+could be more picturesque than those curving streets, with their rows
+of huge high gables leaning far over toward each other in a friendly
+gossiping way, and the crowds below drifting through the alternating
+blots of gloom and mellow bars of moonlight. Nearly everybody was
+abroad, chatting, singing, romping, or massed in lazy comfortable
+attitudes in the doorways.
+
+In one place there was a public building which was fenced about with a
+thick, rusty chain, which sagged from post to post in a succession of
+low swings. The pavement, here, was made of heavy blocks of stone. In
+the glare of the moon a party of barefooted children were swinging on
+those chains and having a noisy good time. They were not the first ones
+who have done that; even their great-great-grandfathers had not been the
+first to do it when they were children. The strokes of the bare feet
+had worn grooves inches deep in the stone flags; it had taken many
+generations of swinging children to accomplish that.
+
+
+
+Everywhere in the town were the mold and decay that go with antiquity,
+and evidence of it; but I do not know that anything else gave us so
+vivid a sense of the old age of Heilbronn as those footworn grooves in
+the paving-stones.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+
+[My Long Crawl in the Dark]
+
+
+When we got back to the hotel I wound and set the pedometer and put
+it in my pocket, for I was to carry it next day and keep record of the
+miles we made. The work which we had given the instrument to do during
+the day which had just closed had not fatigued it perceptibly.
+
+We were in bed by ten, for we wanted to be up and away on our tramp
+homeward with the dawn. I hung fire, but Harris went to sleep at once.
+I hate a man who goes to sleep at once; there is a sort of indefinable
+something about it which is not exactly an insult, and yet is an
+insolence; and one which is hard to bear, too. I lay there fretting
+over this injury, and trying to go to sleep; but the harder I tried, the
+wider awake I grew. I got to feeling very lonely in the dark, with no
+company but an undigested dinner. My mind got a start by and by, and
+began to consider the beginning of every subject which has ever been
+thought of; but it never went further than the beginning; it was touch
+and go; it fled from topic to topic with a frantic speed. At the end of
+an hour my head was in a perfect whirl and I was dead tired, fagged out.
+
+The fatigue was so great that it presently began to make some head
+against the nervous excitement; while imagining myself wide awake, I
+would really doze into momentary unconsciousness, and come suddenly out
+of it with a physical jerk which nearly wrenched my joints apart--the
+delusion of the instant being that I was tumbling backward over a
+precipice. After I had fallen over eight or nine precipices and thus
+found out that one half of my brain had been asleep eight or nine times
+without the wide-awake, hard-working other half suspecting it, the
+periodical unconsciousnesses began to extend their spell gradually over
+more of my brain-territory, and at last I sank into a drowse which grew
+deeper and deeper and was doubtless just on the very point of being a
+solid, blessed dreamless stupor, when--what was that?
+
+My dulled faculties dragged themselves partly back to life and took a
+receptive attitude. Now out of an immense, a limitless distance, came
+a something which grew and grew, and approached, and presently was
+recognizable as a sound--it had rather seemed to be a feeling, before.
+This sound was a mile away, now--perhaps it was the murmur of a storm;
+and now it was nearer--not a quarter of a mile away; was it the muffled
+rasping and grinding of distant machinery? No, it came still nearer; was
+it the measured tramp of a marching troop? But it came nearer still,
+and still nearer--and at last it was right in the room: it was merely
+a mouse gnawing the woodwork. So I had held my breath all that time for
+such a trifle.
+
+
+
+Well, what was done could not be helped; I would go to sleep at once and
+make up the lost time. That was a thoughtless thought. Without intending
+it--hardly knowing it--I fell to listening intently to that sound, and
+even unconsciously counting the strokes of the mouse's nutmeg-grater.
+Presently I was deriving exquisite suffering from this employment, yet
+maybe I could have endured it if the mouse had attended steadily to
+his work; but he did not do that; he stopped every now and then, and I
+suffered more while waiting and listening for him to begin again than
+I did while he was gnawing. Along at first I was mentally offering a
+reward of five--six--seven--ten--dollars for that mouse; but toward
+the last I was offering rewards which were entirely beyond my means. I
+close-reefed my ears--that is to say, I bent the flaps of them down
+and furled them into five or six folds, and pressed them against the
+hearing-orifice--but it did no good: the faculty was so sharpened
+by nervous excitement that it was become a microphone and could hear
+through the overlays without trouble.
+
+My anger grew to a frenzy. I finally did what all persons before me have
+done, clear back to Adam,--resolved to throw something. I reached down
+and got my walking-shoes, then sat up in bed and listened, in order to
+exactly locate the noise. But I couldn't do it; it was as unlocatable as
+a cricket's noise; and where one thinks that that is, is always the very
+place where it isn't. So I presently hurled a shoe at random, and with
+a vicious vigor. It struck the wall over Harris's head and fell down on
+him; I had not imagined I could throw so far. It woke Harris, and I was
+glad of it until I found he was not angry; then I was sorry. He soon
+went to sleep again, which pleased me; but straightway the mouse began
+again, which roused my temper once more. I did not want to wake Harris
+a second time, but the gnawing continued until I was compelled to throw
+the other shoe.
+
+
+
+This time I broke a mirror--there were two in the room--I got the
+largest one, of course. Harris woke again, but did not complain, and
+I was sorrier than ever. I resolved that I would suffer all possible
+torture before I would disturb him a third time.
+
+The mouse eventually retired, and by and by I was sinking to sleep, when
+a clock began to strike; I counted till it was done, and was about to
+drowse again when another clock began; I counted; then the two great
+RATHHAUS clock angels began to send forth soft, rich, melodious blasts
+from their long trumpets. I had never heard anything that was so lovely,
+or weird, or mysterious--but when they got to blowing the quarter-hours,
+they seemed to me to be overdoing the thing. Every time I dropped
+off for the moment, a new noise woke me. Each time I woke I missed my
+coverlet, and had to reach down to the floor and get it again.
+
+At last all sleepiness forsook me. I recognized the fact that I was
+hopelessly and permanently wide awake. Wide awake, and feverish and
+thirsty. When I had lain tossing there as long as I could endure it, it
+occurred to me that it would be a good idea to dress and go out in the
+great square and take a refreshing wash in the fountain, and smoke and
+reflect there until the remnant of the night was gone.
+
+I believed I could dress in the dark without waking Harris. I had
+banished my shoes after the mouse, but my slippers would do for a summer
+night. So I rose softly, and gradually got on everything--down to one
+sock. I couldn't seem to get on the track of that sock, any way I could
+fix it. But I had to have it; so I went down on my hands and knees, with
+one slipper on and the other in my hand, and began to paw gently around
+and rake the floor, but with no success. I enlarged my circle, and went
+on pawing and raking. With every pressure of my knee, how the floor
+creaked! and every time I chanced to rake against any article, it seemed
+to give out thirty-five or thirty-six times more noise than it would
+have done in the daytime. In those cases I always stopped and held
+my breath till I was sure Harris had not awakened--then I crept along
+again. I moved on and on, but I could not find the sock; I could not
+seem to find anything but furniture. I could not remember that there was
+much furniture in the room when I went to bed, but the place was alive
+with it now --especially chairs--chairs everywhere--had a couple of
+families moved in, in the mean time? And I never could seem to GLANCE on
+one of those chairs, but always struck it full and square with my head.
+My temper rose, by steady and sure degrees, and as I pawed on and on, I
+fell to making vicious comments under my breath.
+
+
+
+Finally, with a venomous access of irritation, I said I would leave
+without the sock; so I rose up and made straight for the door--as I
+supposed--and suddenly confronted my dim spectral image in the unbroken
+mirror. It startled the breath out of me, for an instant; it also showed
+me that I was lost, and had no sort of idea where I was. When I realized
+this, I was so angry that I had to sit down on the floor and take hold
+of something to keep from lifting the roof off with an explosion of
+opinion. If there had been only one mirror, it might possibly have
+helped to locate me; but there were two, and two were as bad as a
+thousand; besides, these were on opposite sides of the room. I could see
+the dim blur of the windows, but in my turned-around condition they were
+exactly where they ought not to be, and so they only confused me instead
+of helping me.
+
+I started to get up, and knocked down an umbrella; it made a noise
+like a pistol-shot when it struck that hard, slick, carpetless floor;
+I grated my teeth and held my breath--Harris did not stir. I set the
+umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall, but as soon as
+I took my hand away, its heel slipped from under it, and down it came
+again with another bang. I shrunk together and listened a moment in
+silent fury--no harm done, everything quiet. With the most painstaking
+care and nicety, I stood the umbrella up once more, took my hand away,
+and down it came again.
+
+I have been strictly reared, but if it had not been so dark and solemn
+and awful there in that lonely, vast room, I do believe I should have
+said something then which could not be put into a Sunday-school book
+without injuring the sale of it. If my reasoning powers had not been
+already sapped dry by my harassments, I would have known better than to
+try to set an umbrella on end on one of those glassy German floors in
+the dark; it can't be done in the daytime without four failures to one
+success. I had one comfort, though--Harris was yet still and silent--he
+had not stirred.
+
+The umbrella could not locate me--there were four standing around the
+room, and all alike. I thought I would feel along the wall and find the
+door in that way. I rose up and began this operation, but raked down
+a picture. It was not a large one, but it made noise enough for a
+panorama. Harris gave out no sound, but I felt that if I experimented
+any further with the pictures I should be sure to wake him. Better give
+up trying to get out. Yes, I would find King Arthur's Round Table once
+more--I had already found it several times--and use it for a base of
+departure on an exploring tour for my bed; if I could find my bed I
+could then find my water pitcher; I would quench my raging thirst and
+turn in. So I started on my hands and knees, because I could go faster
+that way, and with more confidence, too, and not knock down things. By
+and by I found the table--with my head--rubbed the bruise a little, then
+rose up and started, with hands abroad and fingers spread, to balance
+myself. I found a chair; then a wall; then another chair; then a sofa;
+then an alpenstock, then another sofa; this confounded me, for I had
+thought there was only one sofa. I hunted up the table again and took a
+fresh start; found some more chairs.
+
+It occurred to me, now, as it ought to have done before, that as the
+table was round, it was therefore of no value as a base to aim from; so
+I moved off once more, and at random among the wilderness of chairs and
+sofas--wandering off into unfamiliar regions, and presently knocked a
+candlestick and knocked off a lamp, grabbed at the lamp and knocked
+off a water pitcher with a rattling crash, and thought to myself,
+"I've found you at last--I judged I was close upon you." Harris shouted
+"murder," and "thieves," and finished with "I'm absolutely drowned."
+
+The crash had roused the house. Mr. X pranced in, in his long
+night-garment, with a candle, young Z after him with another candle; a
+procession swept in at another door, with candles and lanterns--landlord
+and two German guests in their nightgowns and a chambermaid in hers.
+
+I looked around; I was at Harris's bed, a Sabbath-day's journey from my
+own. There was only one sofa; it was against the wall; there was only
+one chair where a body could get at it--I had been revolving around it
+like a planet, and colliding with it like a comet half the night.
+
+
+
+I explained how I had been employing myself, and why. Then the
+landlord's party left, and the rest of us set about our preparations for
+breakfast, for the dawn was ready to break. I glanced furtively at my
+pedometer, and found I had made 47 miles. But I did not care, for I had
+come out for a pedestrian tour anyway.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+
+[Rafting Down the Neckar]
+
+
+When the landlord learned that I and my agents were artists, our party
+rose perceptibly in his esteem; we rose still higher when he learned
+that we were making a pedestrian tour of Europe.
+
+He told us all about the Heidelberg road, and which were the best places
+to avoid and which the best ones to tarry at; he charged me less than
+cost for the things I broke in the night; he put up a fine luncheon
+for us and added to it a quantity of great light-green plums, the
+pleasantest fruit in Germany; he was so anxious to do us honor that he
+would not allow us to walk out of Heilbronn, but called up Goetz von
+Berlichingen's horse and cab and made us ride.
+
+I made a sketch of the turnout. It is not a Work, it is only what
+artists call a "study"--a thing to make a finished picture from. This
+sketch has several blemishes in it; for instance, the wagon is not
+traveling as fast as the horse is. This is wrong. Again, the person
+trying to get out of the way is too small; he is out of perspective,
+as we say. The two upper lines are not the horse's back, they are the
+reigns; there seems to be a wheel missing--this would be corrected in a
+finished Work, of course. This thing flying out behind is not a flag,
+it is a curtain. That other thing up there is the sun, but I didn't get
+enough distance on it. I do not remember, now, what that thing is that
+is in front of the man who is running, but I think it is a haystack or a
+woman. This study was exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1879, but did not
+take any medal; they do not give medals for studies.
+
+
+
+We discharged the carriage at the bridge. The river was full of
+logs--long, slender, barkless pine logs--and we leaned on the rails
+of the bridge, and watched the men put them together into rafts. These
+rafts were of a shape and construction to suit the crookedness and
+extreme narrowness of the Neckar. They were from fifty to one hundred
+yards long, and they gradually tapered from a nine-log breadth at their
+sterns, to a three-log breadth at their bow-ends. The main part of the
+steering is done at the bow, with a pole; the three-log breadth there
+furnishes room for only the steersman, for these little logs are not
+larger around than an average young lady's waist. The connections of the
+several sections of the raft are slack and pliant, so that the raft
+may be readily bent into any sort of curve required by the shape of the
+river.
+
+The Neckar is in many places so narrow that a person can throw a dog
+across it, if he has one; when it is also sharply curved in such places,
+the raftsman has to do some pretty nice snug piloting to make the turns.
+The river is not always allowed to spread over its whole bed--which is
+as much as thirty, and sometimes forty yards wide--but is split into
+three equal bodies of water, by stone dikes which throw the main
+volume, depth, and current into the central one. In low water these neat
+narrow-edged dikes project four or five inches above the surface, like
+the comb of a submerged roof, but in high water they are overflowed. A
+hatful of rain makes high water in the Neckar, and a basketful produces
+an overflow.
+
+There are dikes abreast the Schloss Hotel, and the current is violently
+swift at that point. I used to sit for hours in my glass cage, watching
+the long, narrow rafts slip along through the central channel, grazing
+the right-bank dike and aiming carefully for the middle arch of the
+stone bridge below; I watched them in this way, and lost all this time
+hoping to see one of them hit the bridge-pier and wreck itself sometime
+or other, but was always disappointed. One was smashed there one
+morning, but I had just stepped into my room a moment to light a pipe,
+so I lost it.
+
+While I was looking down upon the rafts that morning in Heilbronn, the
+daredevil spirit of adventure came suddenly upon me, and I said to my
+comrades:
+
+"I am going to Heidelberg on a raft. Will you venture with me?"
+
+Their faces paled a little, but they assented with as good a grace as
+they could. Harris wanted to cable his mother--thought it his duty to
+do that, as he was all she had in this world--so, while he attended to
+this, I went down to the longest and finest raft and hailed the captain
+with a hearty "Ahoy, shipmate!" which put us upon pleasant terms at
+once, and we entered upon business. I said we were on a pedestrian tour
+to Heidelberg, and would like to take passage with him. I said this
+partly through young Z, who spoke German very well, and partly through
+Mr. X, who spoke it peculiarly. I can UNDERSTAND German as well as the
+maniac that invented it, but I TALK it best through an interpreter.
+
+The captain hitched up his trousers, then shifted his quid thoughtfully.
+Presently he said just what I was expecting he would say--that he had no
+license to carry passengers, and therefore was afraid the law would be
+after him in case the matter got noised about or any accident happened.
+So I CHARTERED the raft and the crew and took all the responsibilities
+on myself.
+
+
+
+With a rattling song the starboard watch bent to their work and hove
+the cable short, then got the anchor home, and our bark moved off with a
+stately stride, and soon was bowling along at about two knots an hour.
+
+Our party were grouped amidships. At first the talk was a little gloomy,
+and ran mainly upon the shortness of life, the uncertainty of it, the
+perils which beset it, and the need and wisdom of being always prepared
+for the worst; this shaded off into low-voiced references to the dangers
+of the deep, and kindred matters; but as the gray east began to redden
+and the mysterious solemnity and silence of the dawn to give place
+to the joy-songs of the birds, the talk took a cheerier tone, and our
+spirits began to rise steadily.
+
+Germany, in the summer, is the perfection of the beautiful, but nobody
+has understood, and realized, and enjoyed the utmost possibilities of
+this soft and peaceful beauty unless he has voyaged down the Neckar on
+a raft. The motion of a raft is the needful motion; it is gentle,
+and gliding, and smooth, and noiseless; it calms down all feverish
+activities, it soothes to sleep all nervous hurry and impatience; under
+its restful influence all the troubles and vexations and sorrows that
+harass the mind vanish away, and existence becomes a dream, a charm,
+a deep and tranquil ecstasy. How it contrasts with hot and perspiring
+pedestrianism, and dusty and deafening railroad rush, and tedious
+jolting behind tired horses over blinding white roads!
+
+We went slipping silently along, between the green and fragrant banks,
+with a sense of pleasure and contentment that grew, and grew, all the
+time. Sometimes the banks were overhung with thick masses of willows
+that wholly hid the ground behind; sometimes we had noble hills on one
+hand, clothed densely with foliage to their tops, and on the other hand
+open levels blazing with poppies, or clothed in the rich blue of
+the corn-flower; sometimes we drifted in the shadow of forests, and
+sometimes along the margin of long stretches of velvety grass, fresh and
+green and bright, a tireless charm to the eye. And the birds!--they were
+everywhere; they swept back and forth across the river constantly, and
+their jubilant music was never stilled.
+
+It was a deep and satisfying pleasure to see the sun create the new
+morning, and gradually, patiently, lovingly, clothe it on with splendor
+after splendor, and glory after glory, till the miracle was complete.
+How different is this marvel observed from a raft, from what it is when
+one observes it through the dingy windows of a railway-station in some
+wretched village while he munches a petrified sandwich and waits for the
+train.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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diff --git a/5783.zip b/5783.zip
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+<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
+<html>
+<head>
+<title>A TRAMP ABROAD, BY MARK TWAIN, Part 2</title>
+<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
+
+<style type="text/css">
+    <!--
+		body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify}
+    P { text-indent:   1em;
+        margin-top:    .75em;
+        margin-bottom: .75em; }
+    H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; }
+    HR  { width: 33%; text-align: center; }
+		blockquote {font-size: 97% }
+		.figleft   {float: left;}
+    .figright  {float: right;}
+    .toc       { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;}
+    CENTER { padding: 10px;}
+    // -->
+</style>
+
+</head>
+<body>
+
+<h2>A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2</h2>
+<pre>
+
+Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, Part 2, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad, Part 2
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 18, 2004 [EBook #5783]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD, PART 2 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger (Illustrated HTML version)
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+<br><hr>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="cover"></a><img alt="cover.jpg (229K)" src="images/cover.jpg" height="745" width="652">
+</center>
+
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="Portrait"></a><img alt="Portrait.jpg (45K)" src="images/Portrait.jpg" height="1051" width="605">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Moses"></a><img alt="Moses.jpg (86K)" src="images/Moses.jpg" height="949" width="565">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="Titlepage"></a><img alt="Titlepage.jpg (41K)" src="images/Titlepage.jpg" height="1029" width="645">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+                   <center> <h1>A TRAMP ABROAD, Part 2</h1>
+
+                     <h2>By Mark Twain</h2>
+                  <h3>(Samuel L. Clemens)</h3>
+
+                <h3>First published in 1880</h3>
+
+								<h3>Illustrations taken from an 1880 First Edition</h3>
+
+                      * * * * * *
+</center>
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<h2>ILLUSTRATIONS:</h2>
+
+<center>
+<table summary="">
+<tr><td>
+
+
+<br>
+1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Portrait">PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR</a><br>
+2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#Moses">TITIAN'S MOSES</a><br>
+3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p016">THE AUTHOR'S MEMORIES</a><br>
+32.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p070">FRENCH CALM</a> <br>
+33.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p071">THE CHALLENGE ACCEPTED</a> <br>
+34.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p072">A SEARCH</a><br>
+35.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p073">HE SWOONED PONDEROUSLY</a> <br>
+36.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p074">I ROLLED HIM OVER</a> <br>
+37.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p075">THE ONE I HIRED</a> <br>
+36.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p077">THE MARCH TO THE FIELD</a> <br>
+39.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p080">THE POST OF DANGER</a> <br>
+40.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p081">THE RECONCILIATION</a> <br>
+41.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p082">AN OBJECT OF ADMIRATION</a> <br>
+42.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p084a">WAGNER</a> <br>
+43.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p084b">RAGING</a> <br>
+44.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p085a">ROARING</a> <br>
+45.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p085b">SHRIEKING</a> <br>
+46.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p086">A CUSTOMARY THING</a> <br>
+47.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p087">ONE OF THE "REST"</a> <br>
+48.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p088">A CONTRIBUTION BOX</a> <br>
+49.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p089a">CONSPICUOUS</a> <br>
+50.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p089b">TAIL PIECE</a><br>
+51.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p091">ONLY A SHRIEK</a> <br>
+52.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p092">"HE ONLY CRY"</a> <br>
+53.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p094">LATE COMERS CARED FOR</a> <br>
+54.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p096">EVIDENTLY DREAMING</a> <br>
+55.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p098">"TURN ON MORE RAIN"</a> <br>
+56.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p099">HARRIS ATTENDING THE OPERA</a> <br>
+57.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p101">PAINTING MY GREAT PICTURE</a><br>
+58.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p103">OUR START</a> <br>
+59.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p104">AN UNKNOWN COSTUME</a> <br>
+60.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p105a">THE TOWER</a> <br>
+61.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p105b">SLOW BUT SURE</a> <br>
+62.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p109">THE ROBBER CHIEF</a> <br>
+63.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p111">AN HONEST MAN</a> <br>
+64.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p112">THE TOWN BY NIGHT</a> <br>
+65.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p113">GENERATIONS OF BAREFEET</a> <br>
+66.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p115">OUR BEDROOM</a> <br>
+67.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p117">PRACTICING</a> <br>
+68.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p118">PAWING AROUND</a><br>
+69.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p121">A NIGHT'S WORK</a> <br>
+70.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p123">LEAVING HEILBRONN</a> <br>
+71.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p125">THE CAPTAIN</a> <br>
+72.&nbsp;&nbsp;<a href="#p127">WAITING FOR THE TRAIN</a> <br>
+<br>
+
+</td></tr>
+</table>
+</center>
+
+
+
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+<h2>CONTENTS:</h2>
+
+<blockquote><blockquote><blockquote><blockquote>
+<a href="#ch8">CHAPTER VIII</a>
+<br>
+The Great French Duel&mdash;Mistaken Notions&mdash;Outbreak in the French
+Assembly&mdash;Calmness of M Gambetta&mdash;I Volunteer as
+Second&mdash;Drawing up a Will&mdash;The Challenge and its Acceptance&mdash;Difficulty
+in Selection of Weapons&mdash;Deciding on Distance&mdash;M. Gambetta's
+Firmness&mdash;Arranging Details&mdash;Hiring Hearses&mdash;How it was Kept
+from the Press&mdash;March to the Field&mdash;The Post of Danger&mdash;The
+Duel&mdash;The Result&mdash;General Rejoicings&mdash;The only One
+Hurt&mdash;A Firm Resolution
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch9">CHAPTER IX</a>
+<br>
+At the Theatre&mdash;German Ideal&mdash;At the Opera&mdash;The
+Orchestra&mdash;Howlings and Wailings&mdash;A Curious Play&mdash;One Season of Rest&mdash;The
+Wedding Chorus&mdash;Germans fond of the Opera&mdash;Funerals
+Needed &mdash;A Private Party&mdash;What I Overheard&mdash;A Gentle
+Girl&mdash;A Contribution&mdash;box&mdash;Unpleasantly Conspicuous
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch10">CHAPTER X</a>
+<br>
+Four Hours with Wagner&mdash;A Wonderful Singer, Once&mdash;" Only a
+Shriek"&mdash;An Ancient Vocalist&mdash;"He Only Cry"&mdash;Emotional
+Germans&mdash;A Wise Custom&mdash;Late Comers Rebuked&mdash;Heard to the
+Last&mdash;No Interruptions Allowed&mdash;A Royal Audience&mdash;An Eccentric
+King&mdash;Real Rain and More of It&mdash;Immense Success&mdash;"Encore!
+Encore!"&mdash;Magnanimity of the King
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch11">CHAPTER XI</a>
+<br>
+Lessons in Art&mdash;My Great Picture of Heidelberg Castle&mdash;Its Effect in the
+Exhibition&mdash;Mistaken for a Turner&mdash;A Studio&mdash;Waiting for
+Orders&mdash;A Tramp Decided On&mdash;The Start for Heilbronn&mdash;Our Walking
+Dress&mdash;"Pleasant march to you"&mdash;We Take the Rail&mdash;German
+People on Board&mdash;Not Understood&mdash;Speak only German and
+English&mdash;Wimpfen&mdash;A Funny Tower&mdash;Dinner in the Garden&mdash;Vigorous
+Tramping&mdash;Ride in a Peasant's Cart&mdash;A Famous Room
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch12">CHAPTER XII</a>
+<br>
+The Rathhaus&mdash;An Old Robber Knight, Gotz Von Berlichingen&mdash;His
+Famous Deeds&mdash;The Square Tower&mdash;A Curious old
+Church&mdash;A Gay Turn&mdash;out&mdash;A Legend&mdash;The Wives' Treasures&mdash;A Model
+Waiter&mdash;A Miracle Performed&mdash;An Old Town&mdash;The Worn Stones
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch13">CHAPTER XIII</a>
+<br>
+Early to Bed&mdash;Lonesome&mdash;Nervous Excitement&mdash;The Room We
+Occupied&mdash;Disturbed by a Mouse&mdash;Grow Desperate&mdash;The
+Old Remedy&mdash;A Shoe Thrown&mdash;Result&mdash;Hopelessly Awake&mdash;An Attempt to
+Dress&mdash;A Cruise in the Dark&mdash;Crawling on the Floor&mdash;A General
+Smash-up&mdash;Forty-seven Miles' Travel
+<br><br>
+<a href="#ch14">CHAPTER XIV</a>
+<br>
+A Famous Turn&mdash;out&mdash;Raftsmen on the Neckar&mdash;The Log Rafts&mdash;The
+Neckar&mdash;A Sudden Idea&mdash;To Heidelberg on a Raft&mdash;Chartering a
+Raft&mdash;Gloomy Feelings and Conversation&mdash;Delicious
+Journeying&mdash;View of the Banks&mdash;Compared with Railroading
+</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote>
+
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<center><a name="p016"></a><img alt="p016.jpg (82K)" src="images/p016.jpg" height="817" width="535">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+
+<a name="ch8"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER VIII</h2>
+<h3>The Great French Duel</h3>
+<h3>[I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain
+smart people, it is in reality one of the most dangerous
+institutions of our day.  Since it is always fought in the
+open air, the combatants are nearly sure to catch cold.
+M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French
+duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at
+last a confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris
+has expressed the opinion that if he goes on dueling for
+fifteen or twenty years more&mdash;unless he forms the habit
+of fighting in a comfortable room where damps and draughts
+cannot intrude&mdash;he will eventually endanger his life.
+This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are
+so stubborn in maintaining that the French duel is the
+most health-giving of recreations because of the open-air
+exercise it affords.  And it ought also to moderate that
+foolish talk about French duelists and socialist-hated
+monarchs being the only people who are immoral.
+
+<p>But it is time to get at my subject.  As soon as I heard
+of the late fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou
+in the French Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow.
+I knew it because a long personal friendship with
+M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and implacable
+nature of the man.  Vast as are his physical proportions,
+I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate
+to the remotest frontiers of his person.
+
+<p>I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once
+to him.  As I had expected, I found the brave fellow
+steeped in a profound French calm.  I say French calm,
+because French calmness and English calmness have points
+of difference.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p070"></a><img alt="p070.jpg (13K)" src="images/p070.jpg" height="385" width="303">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>He was moving swiftly back and forth
+among the debris of his furniture, now and then staving
+chance fragments of it across the room with his foot;
+grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth;
+and halting every little while to deposit another handful
+of his hair on the pile which he had been building of it on
+the table.
+
+<p>He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach
+to his breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four
+or five times, and then placed me in his own arm-chair.
+As soon as I had got well again, we began business at once.
+
+<p>I said I supposed he would wish me to act as his second,
+and he said, "Of course." I said I must be allowed
+to act under a French name, so that I might be shielded
+from obloquy in my country, in case of fatal results.
+He winced here, probably at the suggestion that dueling was
+not regarded with respect in America.  However, he agreed
+to my requirement.  This accounts for the fact that in all
+the newspaper reports M. Gambetta's second was apparently
+a Frenchman.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p071"></a><img alt="p071.jpg (9K)" src="images/p071.jpg" height="287" width="253">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>First, we drew up my principal's will.  I insisted upon this,
+and stuck to my point.  I said I had never heard of a man
+in his right mind going out to fight a duel without
+first making his will.  He said he had never heard
+of a man in his right mind doing anything of the kind.
+When he had finished the will, he wished to proceed
+to a choice of his "last words." He wanted to know
+how the following words, as a dying exclamation, struck me:
+
+<p>"I die for my God, for my country, for freedom of speech,
+for progress, and the universal brotherhood of man!"
+
+<p>I objected that this would require too lingering a death;
+it was a good speech for a consumptive, but not suited
+to the exigencies of the field of honor.  We wrangled
+over a good many ante-mortem outbursts, but I finally got
+him to cut his obituary down to this, which he copied
+into his memorandum-book, purposing to get it by heart:
+
+<p>"I DIE THAT FRANCE MIGHT LIVE."
+
+<p>I said that this remark seemed to lack relevancy; but he
+said relevancy was a matter of no consequence in last words,
+what you wanted was thrill.
+
+<p>The next thing in order was the choice of weapons.
+My principal said he was not feeling well, and would leave
+that and the other details of the proposed meeting to me.
+Therefore I wrote the following note and carried it to
+M. Fourtou's friend:
+
+<p>Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge,
+and authorizes me to propose Plessis-Piquet as the place
+of meeting; tomorrow morning at daybreak as the time;
+and axes as the weapons.
+
+<p>I am, sir, with great respect,
+
+<p>Mark Twain.
+
+<p>M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered.
+Then he turned to me, and said, with a suggestion of
+severity in his tone:
+
+<p>"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable
+result of such a meeting as this?"
+
+<p>"Well, for instance, what WOULD it be?"
+
+<p>"Bloodshed!"
+
+<p>"That's about the size of it," I said.  "Now, if it is
+a fair question, what was your side proposing to shed?"
+
+<p>I had him there.  He saw he had made a blunder, so he hastened
+to explain it away.  He said he had spoken jestingly.
+Then he added that he and his principal would enjoy axes,
+and indeed prefer them, but such weapons were barred
+by the French code, and so I must change my proposal.
+
+<p>I walked the floor, turning the thing over in my mind,
+and finally it occurred to me that Gatling-guns at fifteen
+paces would be a likely way to get a verdict on the field
+of honor.  So I framed this idea into a proposition.
+
+<p>But it was not accepted.  The code was in the way again.
+I proposed rifles; then double-barreled shotguns;
+then Colt's navy revolvers.  These being all rejected,
+I reflected awhile, and sarcastically suggested brickbats
+at three-quarters of a mile.  I always hate to fool away
+a humorous thing on a person who has no perception of humor;
+and it filled me with bitterness when this man went soberly
+away to submit the last proposition to his principal.
+
+<p>He came back presently and said his principal was charmed
+with the idea of brickbats at three-quarters of a mile,
+but must decline on account of the danger to disinterested
+parties passing between them.  Then I said:
+
+<p>"Well, I am at the end of my string, now.  Perhaps YOU
+would be good enough to suggest a weapon? Perhaps you
+have even had one in your mind all the time?"
+
+<p>His countenance brightened, and he said with alacrity:
+
+<p>"Oh, without doubt, monsieur!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p072"></a><img alt="p072.jpg (7K)" src="images/p072.jpg" height="329" width="123">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>So he fell to hunting in his pockets&mdash;pocket after pocket,
+and he had plenty of them&mdash;muttering all the while,
+"Now, what could I have done with them?"
+
+<p>At last he was successful.  He fished out of his vest pocket
+a couple of little things which I carried to the light
+and ascertained to be pistols.  They were single-barreled
+and silver-mounted, and very dainty and pretty.
+I was not able to speak for emotion.  I silently hung
+one of them on my watch-chain, and returned the other.
+My companion in crime now unrolled a postage-stamp
+containing several cartridges, and gave me one of them.
+I asked if he meant to signify by this that our men were
+to be allowed but one shot apiece.  He replied that the
+French code permitted no more.  I then begged him to go
+and suggest a distance, for my mind was growing weak
+and confused under the strain which had been put upon it.
+He named sixty-five yards.  I nearly lost my patience.
+I said:
+
+<p>"Sixty-five yards, with these instruments? Squirt-guns
+would be deadlier at fifty.  Consider, my friend,
+you and I are banded together to destroy life, not make
+it eternal."
+
+<p>But with all my persuasions, all my arguments, I was only
+able to get him to reduce the distance to thirty-five yards;
+and even this concession he made with reluctance,
+and said with a sigh, "I wash my hands of this slaughter;
+on your head be it."
+
+<p>There was nothing for me but to go home to my old
+lion-heart and tell my humiliating story.  When I entered,
+M. Gambetta was laying his last lock of hair upon the altar.
+He sprang toward me, exclaiming:
+
+<p>"You have made the fatal arrangements&mdash;I see it in your eye!"
+
+<p>"I have."
+
+<p>His face paled a trifle, and he leaned upon the table
+for support.  He breathed thick and heavily for a moment
+or two, so tumultuous were his feelings; then he hoarsely
+whispered:
+
+<p>"The weapon, the weapon! Quick! what is the weapon?"
+
+<p>"This!" and I displayed that silver-mounted thing.
+He cast but one glance at it, then swooned ponderously
+to the floor.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p073"></a><img alt="p073.jpg (12K)" src="images/p073.jpg" height="227" width="359">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When he came to, he said mournfully:
+
+<p>"The unnatural calm to which I have subjected myself
+has told upon my nerves.  But away with weakness!
+I will confront my fate like a man and a Frenchman."
+
+<p>He rose to his feet, and assumed an attitude which
+for sublimity has never been approached by man,
+and has seldom been surpassed by statues.  Then he said,
+in his deep bass tones:
+
+<p>"Behold, I am calm, I am ready; reveal to me the distance."
+
+<p>"Thirty-five yards." ...
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p074"></a><img alt="p074.jpg (6K)" src="images/p074.jpg" height="183" width="329">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I could not lift him up, of course; but I rolled him over,
+and poured water down his back.  He presently came to,
+and said:
+
+<p>"Thirty-five yards&mdash;without a rest? But why ask? Since
+murder was that man's intention, why should he palter
+with small details? But mark you one thing: in my fall
+the world shall see how the chivalry of France meets death."
+
+<p>After a long silence he asked:
+
+<p>"Was nothing said about that man's family standing
+up with him, as an offset to my bulk? But no matter;
+I would not stoop to make such a suggestion; if he is
+not noble enough to suggest it himself, he is welcome
+to this advantage, which no honorable man would take."
+
+<p>He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection,
+which lasted some minutes; after which he broke silence with:
+
+<p>"The hour&mdash;what is the hour fixed for the collision?"
+
+<p>"Dawn, tomorrow."
+
+<p>He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:
+
+<p>"Insanity! I never heard of such a thing.  Nobody is
+abroad at such an hour."
+
+<p>"That is the reason I named it.  Do you mean to say you
+want an audience?"
+
+<p>"It is no time to bandy words.  I am astonished that M. Fourtou
+should ever have agreed to so strange an innovation.
+Go at once and require a later hour."
+
+<p>I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost
+plunged into the arms of M. Fourtou's second.  He said:
+
+<p>"I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously
+objects to the hour chosen, and begs you will consent
+to change it to half past nine."
+
+<p>"Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend
+is at the service of your excellent principal.  We agree
+to the proposed change of time."
+
+<p>"I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he
+turned to a person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir,
+the hour is altered to half past nine."  Whereupon
+M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went away.
+My accomplice continued:
+
+<p>"If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall
+proceed to the field in the same carriage as is customary."
+
+<p>"It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged
+to you for mentioning the surgeons, for I am afraid
+I should not have thought of them.  How many shall
+I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"
+
+<p>"Two is the customary number for each party.  I refer
+to 'chief' surgeons; but considering the exalted positions
+occupied by our clients, it will be well and decorous
+that each of us appoint several consulting surgeons,
+from among the highest in the profession.  These will
+come in their own private carriages.  Have you engaged
+a hearse?"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p075"></a><img alt="p075.jpg (11K)" src="images/p075.jpg" height="191" width="419">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend
+to it right away.  I must seem very ignorant to you;
+but you must try to overlook that, because I have never
+had any experience of such a swell duel as this before.
+I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific coast,
+but I see now that they were crude affairs.  A hearse&mdash;sho!
+we used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let
+anybody cord them up and cart them off that wanted to.
+Have you anything further to suggest?"
+
+<p>"Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together,
+as is usual.  The subordinates and mutes will go on foot,
+as is also usual.  I will see you at eight o'clock
+in the morning, and we will then arrange the order
+of the procession.  I have the honor to bid you a good day."
+
+<p>I returned to my client, who said, "Very well;
+at what hour is the engagement to begin?"
+
+<p>"Half past nine."
+
+<p>"Very good indeed.; Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"
+
+<p>"SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can
+for a moment deem me capable of so base a treachery&mdash;"
+
+<p>"Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I
+wounded you? Ah, forgive me; I am overloading you with labor.
+Therefore go on with the other details, and drop this
+one from your list.  The bloody-minded Fourtou will be
+sure to attend to it.  Or I myself&mdash;yes, to make certain,
+I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir&mdash;"
+
+<p>"Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble;
+that other second has informed M. Noir."
+
+<p>"H'm! I might have known it.  It is just like that Fourtou,
+who always wants to make a display."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p077"></a><img alt="p077.jpg (116K)" src="images/p077.jpg" height="891" width="585">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At half past nine in the morning the procession approached
+the field of Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first
+came our carriage&mdash;nobody in it but M. Gambetta and myself;
+then a carriage containing M. Fourtou and his second;
+then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did
+not believe in God, and these had MS.  funeral orations
+projecting from their breast pockets; then a carriage
+containing the head surgeons and their cases of instruments;
+then eight private carriages containing consulting surgeons;
+then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses;
+then a carriage containing the head undertakers;
+then a train of assistants and mutes on foot; and after
+these came plodding through the fog a long procession
+of camp followers, police, and citizens generally.
+It was a noble turnout, and would have made a fine display
+if we had had thinner weather.
+
+<p>There was no conversation.  I spoke several times to
+my principal, but I judge he was not aware of it, for he
+always referred to his note-book and muttered absently,
+"I die that France might live."
+
+<p>Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off
+the thirty-five yards, and then drew lots for choice
+of position.  This latter was but an ornamental ceremony,
+for all the choices were alike in such weather.
+These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal
+and asked him if he was ready.  He spread himself out
+to his full width, and said in a stern voice, "Ready! Let
+the batteries be charged."
+
+<p>The loading process was done in the presence of duly
+constituted witnesses.  We considered it best to perform
+this delicate service with the assistance of a lantern,
+on account of the state of the weather.  We now placed
+our men.
+
+<p>At this point the police noticed that the public had massed
+themselves together on the right and left of the field;
+they therefore begged a delay, while they should put
+these poor people in a place of safety.
+
+<p>The request was granted.
+
+<p>The police having ordered the two multitudes to take
+positions behind the duelists, we were once more ready.
+The weather growing still more opaque, it was agreed between
+myself and the other second that before giving the fatal
+signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable
+the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.
+
+<p>I now returned to my principal, and was distressed
+to observe that he had lost a good deal of his spirit.
+I tried my best to hearten him.  I said, "Indeed, sir,
+things are not as bad as they seem.  Considering the character
+of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed,
+the generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog,
+and the added fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed
+and the other cross-eyed and near-sighted, it seems to me
+that this conflict need not necessarily be fatal.  There are
+chances that both of you may survive.  Therefore, cheer up;
+do not be downhearted."
+
+<p>This speech had so good an effect that my principal
+immediately stretched forth his hand and said, "I am
+myself again; give me the weapon."
+
+<p>I laid it, all lonely and forlorn, in the center of the vast
+solitude of his palm.  He gazed at it and shuddered.
+And still mournfully contemplating it, he murmured in a
+broken voice:
+
+<p>"Alas, it is not death I dread, but mutilation."
+
+<p>I heartened him once more, and with such success that he
+presently said, "Let the tragedy begin.  Stand at my back;
+do not desert me in this solemn hour, my friend."
+
+<p>I gave him my promise.  I now assisted him to point
+his pistol toward the spot where I judged his adversary
+to be standing, and cautioned him to listen well and
+further guide himself by my fellow-second's whoop.
+Then I propped myself against M. Gambetta's back,
+and raised a rousing "Whoop-ee!" This was answered from
+out the far distances of the fog, and I immediately shouted:
+
+<p>"One&mdash;two&mdash;three&mdash;FIRE!"
+
+<p>Two little sounds like SPIT! SPIT! broke upon my ear,
+and in the same instant I was crushed to the earth under
+a mountain of flesh.  Bruised as I was, I was still able
+to catch a faint accent from above, to this effect:
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p080"></a><img alt="p080.jpg (10K)" src="images/p080.jpg" height="281" width="295">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"I die for... for ... perdition take it,
+what IS it I die for? ... oh, yes&mdash;FRANCE! I die
+that France may live!"
+
+<p>The surgeons swarmed around with their probes in
+their hands, and applied their microscopes to the whole
+area of M. Gambetta's person, with the happy result of
+finding nothing in the nature of a wound.  Then a scene
+ensued which was in every way gratifying and inspiriting.
+
+<p>The two gladiators fell upon each other's neck, with floods
+of proud and happy tears; that other second embraced me;
+the surgeons, the orators, the undertakers, the police,
+everybody embraced, everybody congratulated, everybody cried,
+and the whole atmosphere was filled with praise and with
+joy unspeakable.
+
+<p>It seems to me then that I would rather be a hero
+of a French duel than a crowned and sceptered monarch.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p081"></a><img alt="p081.jpg (34K)" src="images/p081.jpg" height="365" width="551">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When the commotion had somewhat subsided, the body
+of surgeons held a consultation, and after a good deal
+of debate decided that with proper care and nursing there
+was reason to believe that I would survive my injuries.
+My internal hurts were deemed the most serious, since it
+was apparent that a broken rib had penetrated my left lung,
+and that many of my organs had been pressed out so far
+to one side or the other of where they belonged, that it
+was doubtful if they would ever learn to perform their
+functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities.
+They then set my left arm in two places, pulled my right
+hip into its socket again, and re-elevated my nose.
+I was an object of great interest, and even admiration;
+and many sincere and warm-hearted persons had themselves
+introduced to me, and said they were proud to know
+the only man who had been hurt in a French duel in
+forty years.
+
+<p>I was placed in an ambulance at the very head of the procession;
+and thus with gratifying 'ECLAT I was marched into Paris,
+the most conspicuous figure in that great spectacle,
+and deposited at the hospital.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p082"></a><img alt="p082.jpg (17K)" src="images/p082.jpg" height="305" width="337">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred
+upon me.  However, few escape that distinction.
+
+<p>Such is the true version of the most memorable private
+conflict of the age.
+
+<p>I have no complaints to make against any one.  I acted
+for myself, and I can stand the consequences.
+
+<p>Without boasting, I think I may say I am not afraid
+to stand before a modern French duelist, but as long
+as I keep in my right mind I will never consent to stand
+behind one again.
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+<a name="ch9"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER IX</h2>
+<h3>[What the Beautiful Maiden Said]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>One day we took the train and went down to Mannheim
+to see "King Lear" played in German.  It was a mistake.
+We sat in our seats three whole hours and never understood
+anything but the thunder and lightning; and even that
+was reversed to suit German ideas, for the thunder came
+first and the lightning followed after.
+
+<p>The behavior of the audience was perfect.  There were
+no rustlings, or whisperings, or other little disturbances;
+each act was listened to in silence, and the applauding
+was done after the curtain was down.  The doors opened at
+half past four, the play began promptly at half past five,
+and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were
+in their seats, and quiet reigned.  A German gentleman
+in the train had said that a Shakespearian play was an
+appreciated treat in Germany and that we should find the
+house filled.  It was true; all the six tiers were filled,
+and remained so to the end&mdash;which suggested that it is
+not only balcony people who like Shakespeare in Germany,
+but those of the pit and gallery, too.
+
+<p>Another time, we went to Mannheim and attended a
+shivaree&mdash;otherwise an opera&mdash;the one called "Lohengrin." The
+banging and slamming and booming and crashing were
+something beyond belief.  The racking and pitiless
+pain of it remains stored up in my memory alongside
+the memory of the time that I had my teeth fixed.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p084a"></a><img alt="p084a.jpg (14K)" src="images/p084a.jpg" height="339" width="319">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>There were circumstances which made it necessary for me
+to stay through the hour hours to the end, and I stayed;
+but the recollection of that long, dragging, relentless season
+of suffering is indestructible.  To have to endure it
+in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder.
+I was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers,
+of the two sexes, and this compelled repression;
+yet at times the pain was so exquisite that I could hardly
+keep the tears back.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p084b"></a><img alt="p084b.jpg (8K)" src="images/p084b.jpg" height="281" width="215">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At those times, as the howlings
+and wailings and shrieking of the singers, and the ragings
+and roarings and explosions of the vast orchestra rose
+higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer
+and fiercer, I could have cried if I had been alone.
+Those strangers would not have been surprised to see
+a man do such a thing who was being gradually skinned,
+but they would have marveled at it here, and made remarks
+about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the
+present case which was an advantage over being skinned.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p085a"></a><img alt="p085a.jpg (15K)" src="images/p085a.jpg" height="359" width="303">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+There was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act,
+and I could not trust myself to do it, for I felt that I
+should desert to stay out.  There was another wait
+of half an hour toward nine o'clock, but I had gone
+through so much by that time that I had no spirit left,
+and so had no desire but to be let alone.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p085b"></a><img alt="p085b.jpg (10K)" src="images/p085b.jpg" height="313" width="207">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there
+were like me, for, indeed, they were not.  Whether it
+was that they naturally liked that noise, or whether it
+was that they had learned to like it by getting used to it,
+I did not at the time know; but they did like&mdash;this was
+plain enough.  While it was going on they sat and looked
+as rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs;
+and whenever the curtain fell they rose to their feet,
+in one solid mighty multitude, and the air was snowed thick
+with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes of applause
+swept the place.  This was not comprehensible to me.
+Of course, there were many people there who were not
+under compulsion to stay; yet the tiers were as full at
+the close as they had been at the beginning.  This showed
+that the people liked it.
+
+<p>It was a curious sort of a play.  In the manner
+of costumes and scenery it was fine and showy enough;
+but there was not much action.  That is to say,
+there was not much really done, it was only talked about;
+and always violently.  It was what one might call a
+narrative play.  Everybody had a narrative and a grievance,
+and none were reasonable about it, but all in an offensive
+and ungovernable state.  There was little of that sort
+of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand
+down by the footlights, warbling, with blended voices,
+and keep holding out their arms toward each other and drawing
+them back and spreading both hands over first one breast
+and then the other with a shake and a pressure&mdash;no,
+it was every rioter for himself and no blending.
+Each sang his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by
+the whole orchestra of sixty instruments, and when this had
+continued for some time, and one was hoping they might come
+to an understanding and modify the noise, a great chorus
+composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth,
+and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, I lived
+over again all that I suffered the time the orphan asylum burned
+down.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p086"></a><img alt="p086.jpg (25K)" src="images/p086.jpg" height="511" width="379">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven's
+sweet ecstasy and peace during all this long and diligent
+and acrimonious reproduction of the other place.
+This was while a gorgeous procession of people marched around
+and around, in the third act, and sang the Wedding Chorus.
+To my untutored ear that was music&mdash;almost divine music.
+While my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm
+of those gracious sounds, it seemed to me that I could
+almost resuffer the torments which had gone before,
+in order to be so healed again.  There is where the deep
+ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed.  It deals so
+largely in pain that its scattered delights are prodigiously
+augmented by the contrasts.  A pretty air in an opera is
+prettier there than it could be anywhere else, I suppose,
+just as an honest man in politics shines more than he
+would elsewhere.
+
+<p>I have since found out that there is nothing the Germans
+like so much as an opera.  They like it, not in a mild
+and moderate way, but with their whole hearts.
+This is a legitimate result of habit and education.
+Our nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt.
+One in fifty of those who attend our operas likes
+it already, perhaps, but I think a good many of the other
+forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and the
+rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it.
+The latter usually hum the airs while they are being sung,
+so that their neighbors may perceive that they have been
+to operas before.  The funerals of these do not occur
+often enough.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p087"></a><img alt="p087.jpg (14K)" src="images/p087.jpg" height="331" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>A gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl
+of seventeen sat right in front of us that night at the
+Mannheim opera.  These people talked, between the acts,
+and I understood them, though I understood nothing
+that was uttered on the distant stage.  At first they
+were guarded in their talk, but after they had heard
+my agent and me conversing in English they dropped their
+reserve and I picked up many of their little confidences;
+no, I mean many of HER little confidences&mdash;meaning
+the elder party&mdash;for the young girl only listened,
+and gave assenting nods, but never said a word.  How pretty
+she was, and how sweet she was! I wished she would speak.
+But evidently she was absorbed in her own thoughts,
+her own young-girl dreams, and found a dearer pleasure
+in silence.  But she was not dreaming sleepy dreams&mdash;no,
+she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still
+a moment.  She was an enchanting study.  Her gown was
+of a soft white silky stuff that clung to her round
+young figure like a fish's skin, and it was rippled
+over with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace;
+she had deep, tender eyes, with long, curved lashes;
+and she had peachy cheeks, and a dimpled chin, and such
+a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so dovelike,
+so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching.
+For long hours I did mightily wish she would speak.
+And at last she did; the red lips parted, and out leaps her
+thought&mdash;and with such a guileless and pretty enthusiasm,
+too: "Auntie, I just KNOW I've got five hundred fleas
+on me!"
+
+<p>That was probably over the average.  Yes, it must have been
+very much over the average.  The average at that time
+in the Grand Duchy of Baden was forty-five to a young
+person (when alone), according to the official estimate
+of the home secretary for that year; the average for older
+people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a
+wholesome young girl came into the presence of her elders
+she immediately lowered their average and raised her own.
+She became a sort of contribution-box.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p088"></a><img alt="p088.jpg (29K)" src="images/p088.jpg" height="481" width="327">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This dear young
+thing in the theater had been sitting there unconsciously
+taking up a collection.  Many a skinny old being in our
+neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.
+
+<p>In that large audience, that night, there were eight very
+conspicuous people.  These were ladies who had their hats
+or bonnets on.  What a blessed thing it would be if a lady
+could make herself conspicuous in our theaters by wearing
+her hat.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p089a"></a><img alt="p089a.jpg (17K)" src="images/p089a.jpg" height="407" width="245">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies
+and gentlemen to take bonnets, hats, overcoats, canes,
+or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in Mannheim this
+rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely
+made up of people from a distance, and among these were
+always a few timid ladies who were afraid that if they had
+to go into an anteroom to get their things when the play
+was over, they would miss their train.  But the great mass
+of those who came from a distance always ran the risk
+and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train
+to a breach of good manners and the discomfort of being
+unpleasantly conspicuous during a stretch of three or four hours.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p089b"></a><img alt="p089b.jpg (17K)" src="images/p089b.jpg" height="227" width="561">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+
+<a name="ch10"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER X</h2>
+<h3>[How Wagner Operas Bang Along]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>Three or four hours.  That is a long time to sit in one place,
+whether one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner's
+operas bang along for six whole hours on a stretch!
+But the people sit there and enjoy it all, and wish it
+would last longer.  A German lady in Munich told me
+that a person could not like Wagner's music at first,
+but must go through the deliberate process of learning
+to like it&mdash;then he would have his sure reward;
+for when he had learned to like it he would hunger
+for it and never be able to get enough of it.  She said
+that six hours of Wagner was by no means too much.
+She said that this composer had made a complete revolution
+in music and was burying the old masters one by one.
+And she said that Wagner's operas differed from all others
+in one notable respect, and that was that they were not
+merely spotted with music here and there, but were ALL music,
+from the first strain to the last.  This surprised me.
+I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found
+hardly ANY music in it except the Wedding Chorus.
+She said "Lohengrin" was noisier than Wagner's other operas,
+but that if I would keep on going to see it I would find
+by and by that it was all music, and therefore would
+then enjoy it.  I COULD have said, "But would you advise
+a person to deliberately practice having a toothache
+in the pit of his stomach for a couple of years in order
+that he might then come to enjoy it?" But I reserved
+that remark.
+
+<p>This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor
+who had performed in a Wagner opera the night before,
+and went on to enlarge upon his old and prodigious fame,
+and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the
+princely houses of Germany.  Here was another surprise.
+I had attended that very opera, in the person of my agent,
+and had made close and accurate observations.  So I
+said:
+
+<p>"Why, madam, MY experience warrants me in stating
+that that tenor's voice is not a voice at all,
+but only a shriek&mdash;the shriek of a hyena."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p091"></a><img alt="p091.jpg (7K)" src="images/p091.jpg" height="301" width="179">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>"That is very true," she said; "he cannot sing now;
+it is already many years that he has lost his voice,
+but in other times he sang, yes, divinely! So whenever
+he comes now, you shall see, yes, that the theater
+will not hold the people.  JAWOHL BEI GOTT! his voice
+is WUNDERSCHOEN in that past time."
+
+<p>I said she was discovering to me a kindly trait in the
+Germans which was worth emulating.  I said that over
+the water we were not quite so generous; that with us,
+when a singer had lost his voice and a jumper had lost
+his legs, these parties ceased to draw.  I said I had been
+to the opera in Hanover, once, and in Mannheim once,
+and in Munich (through my authorized agent) once, and this
+large experience had nearly persuaded me that the Germans
+PREFERRED singers who couldn't sing.  This was not such
+a very extravagant speech, either, for that burly Mannheim
+tenor's praises had been the talk of all Heidelberg for
+a week before his performance took place&mdash;yet his voice
+was like the distressing noise which a nail makes when you
+screech it across a window-pane. I said so to Heidelberg
+friends the next day, and they said, in the calmest and
+simplest way, that that was very true, but that in earlier
+times his voice HAD been wonderfully fine.  And the tenor
+in Hanover was just another example of this sort.
+The English-speaking German gentleman who went with me
+to the opera there was brimming with enthusiasm over that tenor.
+He said:
+
+<p>"ACH GOTT! a great man! You shall see him.  He is so celebrate
+in all Germany&mdash;and he has a pension, yes, from the government.
+He not obliged to sing now, only twice every year;
+but if he not sing twice each year they take him his pension
+away."
+
+<p>Very well, we went.  When the renowned old tenor appeared,
+I got a nudge and an excited whisper:
+
+<p>"Now you see him!"
+
+<p>But the "celebrate" was an astonishing disappointment to me.
+If he had been behind a screen I should have supposed
+they were performing a surgical operation on him.
+I looked at my friend&mdash;to my great surprise he seemed
+intoxicated with pleasure, his eyes were dancing
+with eager delight.  When the curtain at last fell,
+he burst into the stormiest applause, and kept it up&mdash;as
+did the whole house&mdash;until the afflictive tenor had
+come three times before the curtain to make his bow.
+While the glowing enthusiast was swabbing the perspiration
+from his face, I said:
+
+<p>"I don't mean the least harm, but really, now, do you
+think he can sing?"
+
+<p>"Him? NO! GOTT IM HIMMEL, ABER, how he has been able to
+sing twenty-five years ago?" [Then pensively.] "ACH, no,
+NOW he not sing any more, he only cry.  When he think
+he sing, now, he not sing at all, no, he only make
+like a cat which is unwell."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p092"></a><img alt="p092.jpg (8K)" src="images/p092.jpg" height="297" width="205">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Where and how did we get the idea that the Germans
+are a stolid, phlegmatic race? In truth, they are
+widely removed from that.  They are warm-hearted,
+emotional, impulsive, enthusiastic, their tears come
+at the mildest touch, and it is not hard to move them
+to laughter.  They are the very children of impulse.
+We are cold and self-contained, compared to the Germans.
+They hug and kiss and cry and shout and dance and sing;
+and where we use one loving, petting expressions they pour
+out a score.  Their language is full of endearing diminutives;
+nothing that they love escapes the application of a petting
+diminutive&mdash;neither the house, nor the dog, nor the horse,
+nor the grandmother, nor any other creature, animate or
+inanimate.
+
+<p>In the theaters at Hanover, Hamburg, and Mannheim,
+they had a wise custom.  The moment the curtain went up,
+the light in the body of the house went down.
+The audience sat in the cool gloom of a deep twilight,
+which greatly enhanced the glowing splendors of the stage.
+It saved gas, too, and people were not sweated to death.
+
+<p>When I saw "King Lear" played, nobody was allowed to see
+a scene shifted; if there was nothing to be done but slide
+a forest out of the way and expose a temple beyond, one did
+not see that forest split itself in the middle and go
+shrieking away, with the accompanying disenchanting spectacle
+of the hands and heels of the impelling impulse&mdash;no,
+the curtain was always dropped for an instant&mdash;one heard
+not the least movement behind it&mdash;but when it went up,
+the next instant, the forest was gone.  Even when the
+stage was being entirely reset, one heard no noise.
+During the whole time that "King Lear" was playing
+the curtain was never down two minutes at any one time.
+The orchestra played until the curtain was ready to go up
+for the first time, then they departed for the evening.
+Where the stage waits never each two minutes there is no
+occasion for music.  I had never seen this two-minute
+business between acts but once before, and that was when
+the "Shaughraun" was played at Wallack's.
+
+<p>I was at a concert in Munich one night, the people
+were streaming in, the clock-hand pointed to seven,
+the music struck up, and instantly all movement in
+the body of the house ceased&mdash;nobody was standing,
+or walking up the aisles, or fumbling with a seat,
+the stream of incomers had suddenly dried up at its source.
+I listened undisturbed to a piece of music that was fifteen
+minutes long&mdash;always expecting some tardy ticket-holders
+to come crowding past my knees, and being continuously and
+pleasantly disappointed&mdash;but when the last note was struck,
+here came the stream again.  You see, they had made
+those late comers wait in the comfortable waiting-parlor
+from the time the music had begin until it was ended.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p094"></a><img alt="p094.jpg (29K)" src="images/p094.jpg" height="383" width="435">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>It was the first time I had ever seen this sort of
+criminals denied the privilege of destroying the comfort
+of a house full of their betters.  Some of these were
+pretty fine birds, but no matter, they had to tarry
+outside in the long parlor under the inspection of
+a double rank of liveried footmen and waiting-maids
+who supported the two walls with their backs and held
+the wraps and traps of their masters and mistresses on their
+arms.
+
+<p>We had no footmen to hold our things, and it was not
+permissible to take them into the concert-room; but there
+were some men and women to take charge of them for us.
+They gave us checks for them and charged a fixed price,
+payable in advance&mdash;five cents.
+
+<p>In Germany they always hear one thing at an opera
+which has never yet been heard in America, perhaps&mdash;I
+mean the closing strain of a fine solo or duet.
+We always smash into it with an earthquake of applause.
+The result is that we rob ourselves of the sweetest
+part of the treat; we get the whiskey, but we don't get
+the sugar in the bottom of the glass.
+
+<p>Our way of scattering applause along through an act seems
+to me to be better than the Mannheim way of saving it
+all up till the act is ended.  I do not see how an actor
+can forget himself and portray hot passion before a cold
+still audience.  I should think he would feel foolish.
+It is a pain to me to this day, to remember how that old
+German Lear raged and wept and howled around the stage,
+with never a response from that hushed house, never a
+single outburst till the act was ended.  To me there was
+something unspeakably uncomfortable in the solemn dead
+silences that always followed this old person's tremendous
+outpourings of his feelings.  I could not help putting
+myself in his place&mdash;I thought I knew how sick and flat
+he felt during those silences, because I remembered a case
+which came under my observation once, and which&mdash;but I
+will tell the incident:
+
+<p>One evening on board a Mississippi steamboat, a boy of ten
+years lay asleep in a berth&mdash;a long, slim-legged boy,
+he was, encased in quite a short shirt; it was the first
+time he had ever made a trip on a steamboat, and so he
+was troubled, and scared, and had gone to bed with his
+head filled with impending snaggings, and explosions,
+and conflagrations, and sudden death.  About ten o'clock
+some twenty ladies were sitting around about the ladies'
+saloon, quietly reading, sewing, embroidering, and so on,
+and among them sat a sweet, benignant old dame with round
+spectacles on her nose and her busy knitting-needles
+in her hands.  Now all of a sudden, into the midst of this
+peaceful scene burst that slim-shanked boy in the brief shirt,
+wild-eyed, erect-haired, and shouting, "Fire, fire!
+JUMP AND RUN, THE BOAT'S AFIRE AND THERE AIN'T A MINUTE
+TO LOSE!" All those ladies looked sweetly up and smiled,
+nobody stirred, the old lady pulled her spectacles down,
+looked over them, and said, gently:
+
+<p>"But you mustn't catch cold, child.  Run and put on
+your breastpin, and then come and tell us all about it."
+
+<p>It was a cruel chill to give to a poor little devil's
+gushing vehemence.  He was expecting to be a sort of
+hero&mdash;the creator of a wild panic&mdash;and here everybody
+sat and smiled a mocking smile, and an old woman made
+fun of his bugbear.  I turned and crept away&mdash;for I
+was that boy&mdash;and never even cared to discover whether
+I had dreamed the fire or actually seen it.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p096"></a><img alt="p096.jpg (29K)" src="images/p096.jpg" height="343" width="483">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I am told that in a German concert or opera, they hardly
+ever encore a song; that though they may be dying to hear
+it again, their good breeding usually preserves them
+against requiring the repetition.
+
+<p>Kings may encore; that is quite another matter;
+it delights everybody to see that the King is pleased;
+and as to the actor encored, his pride and gratification
+are simply boundless.  Still, there are circumstances
+in which even a royal encore&mdash;
+
+<p>But it is better to illustrate.  The King of Bavaria is
+a poet, and has a poet's eccentricities&mdash;with the advantage
+over all other poets of being able to gratify them,
+no matter what form they may take.  He is fond of opera,
+but not fond of sitting in the presence of an audience;
+therefore, it has sometimes occurred, in Munich,
+that when an opera has been concluded and the players
+were getting off their paint and finery, a command has
+come to them to get their paint and finery on again.
+Presently the King would arrive, solitary and alone,
+and the players would begin at the beginning and do the
+entire opera over again with only that one individual
+in the vast solemn theater for audience.  Once he took
+an odd freak into his head.  High up and out of sight,
+over the prodigious stage of the court theater is a maze
+of interlacing water-pipes, so pierced that in case
+of fire, innumerable little thread-like streams of
+water can be caused to descend; and in case of need,
+this discharge can be augmented to a pouring flood.
+American managers might want to make a note of that.
+The King was sole audience.  The opera proceeded,
+it was a piece with a storm in it; the mimic thunder
+began to mutter, the mimic wind began to wail and sough,
+and the mimic rain to patter.  The King's interest rose
+higher and higher; it developed into enthusiasm.  He cried
+out:
+
+<p>"It is very, very good, indeed! But I will have real
+rain! Turn on the water!"
+
+<p>The manager pleaded for a reversal of the command; said it
+would ruin the costly scenery and the splendid costumes,
+but the King cried:
+
+<p>"No matter, no matter, I will have real rain! Turn
+on the water!"
+
+<p>So the real rain was turned on and began to descend in
+gossamer lances to the mimic flower-beds and gravel walks
+of the stage.  The richly dressed actresses and actors
+tripped about singing bravely and pretending not to mind it.
+The King was delighted&mdash;his enthusiasm grew higher.
+He cried out:
+
+<p>"Bravo, bravo! More thunder! more lightning! turn
+on more rain!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p098"></a><img alt="p098.jpg (37K)" src="images/p098.jpg" height="387" width="481">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The thunder boomed, the lightning glared, the storm-winds raged,
+the deluge poured down.  The mimic royalty on the stage,
+with their soaked satins clinging to their bodies,
+slopped about ankle-deep in water, warbling their sweetest
+and best, the fiddlers under the eaves of the state sawed
+away for dear life, with the cold overflow spouting down
+the backs of their necks, and the dry and happy King sat
+in his lofty box and wore his gloves to ribbons applauding.
+
+<p>"More yet!" cried the King; "more yet&mdash;let loose all
+the thunder, turn on all the water! I will hang the man
+that raises an umbrella!"
+
+<p>When this most tremendous and effective storm that had
+ever been produced in any theater was at last over,
+the King's approbation was measureless.  He cried:
+
+<p>"Magnificent, magnificent! ENCORE! Do it again!"
+
+<p>But the manager succeeded in persuading him to recall
+the encore, and said the company would feel sufficiently
+rewarded and complimented in the mere fact that the
+encore was desired by his Majesty, without fatiguing
+him with a repetition to gratify their own vanity.
+
+<p>During the remainder of the act the lucky performers
+were those whose parts required changes of dress;
+the others were a soaked, bedraggled, and uncomfortable lot,
+but in the last degree picturesque.  The stage scenery
+was ruined, trap-doors were so swollen that they wouldn't
+work for a week afterward, the fine costumes were spoiled,
+and no end of minor damages were done by that remarkable storm.
+
+<p>It was royal idea&mdash;that storm&mdash;and royally carried out.
+But observe the moderation of the King; he did not
+insist upon his encore.  If he had been a gladsome,
+unreflecting American opera-audience, he probably would
+have had his storm repeated and repeated until he drowned
+all those people.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p099"></a><img alt="p099.jpg (29K)" src="images/p099.jpg" height="459" width="317">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+
+
+
+<a name="ch11"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XI</h2>
+<h3>[I Paint a "Turner"]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+<p>The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg.
+We had a skilled trainer, and under his instructions we
+were getting our legs in the right condition for the
+contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well satisfied
+with the progress which we had made in the German language,
+[1. See Appendix D for information concerning this
+fearful tongue.] and more than satisfied with what we had
+accomplished in art.  We had had the best instructors in
+drawing and painting in Germany&mdash;Haemmerling, Vogel, Mueller,
+Dietz, and Schumann.  Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
+Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do
+still-life, and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing
+course in two specialties&mdash;battle-pieces and shipwrecks.
+Whatever I am in Art I owe to these men.  I have something
+of the manner of each and all of them; but they all said that I
+had also a manner of my own, and that it was conspicuous.
+They said there was a marked individuality about my
+style&mdash;insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest
+type of a dog, I should be sure to throw a something
+into the aspect of that dog which would keep him from
+being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
+Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings,
+but I could not; I was afraid that my masters'
+partiality for me, and pride in me, biased their judgment.
+So I resolved to make a test.  Privately, and unknown
+to any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle
+Illuminated"&mdash;my first really important work in oils&mdash;and
+had it hung up in the midst of a wilderness of oil-pictures
+in the Art Exhibition, with no name attached to it.  To my
+great gratification it was instantly recognized as mine.
+All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
+neighboring localities to visit it.  It made more stir than
+any other work in the Exhibition.  But the most gratifying
+thing of all was, that chance strangers, passing through,
+who had not heard of my picture, were not only drawn to it,
+as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the gallery,
+but always took it for a "Turner."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p101"></a><img alt="p101.jpg (45K)" src="images/p101.jpg" height="587" width="453">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Apparently nobody had ever done that.  There were ruined
+castles on the overhanging cliffs and crags all the way;
+these were said to have their legends, like those on the Rhine,
+and what was better still, they had never been in print.
+There was nothing in the books about that lovely region;
+it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for
+the literary pioneer.
+
+<p>Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
+walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought
+to us.  A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us.
+We went around one evening and bade good-by to our friends,
+and afterward had a little farewell banquet at the hotel.
+We got to bed early, for we wanted to make an early start,
+so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
+
+<p>We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh
+and vigorous, and took a hearty breakfast, then plunged
+down through the leafy arcades of the Castle grounds,
+toward the town.  What a glorious summer morning it was,
+and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance,
+and how the birds did sing! It was just the time for a
+tramp through the woods and mountains.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p103"></a><img alt="p103.jpg (24K)" src="images/p103.jpg" height="467" width="341">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the
+sun off; gray knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls;
+leathern gaiters buttoned tight from knee down to ankle;
+high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced.  Each man had
+an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung
+over his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand
+and a sun-umbrella in the other.  Around our hats were
+wound many folds of soft white muslin, with the ends
+hanging and flapping down our backs&mdash;an idea brought
+from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe.
+Harris carried the little watch-like machine called
+a "pedometer," whose office is to keep count of a man's
+steps and tell how far he has walked.  Everybody stopped
+to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant march
+to you!"
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p104"></a><img alt="p104.jpg (32K)" src="images/p104.jpg" height="477" width="337">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to
+within five miles of Heilbronn.  The train was just starting,
+so we jumped aboard and went tearing away in splendid spirits.
+It was agreed all around that we had done wisely,
+because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the Neckar
+as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways.
+There were some nice German people in our compartment.
+I got to talking some pretty private matters presently,
+and Harris became nervous; so he nudged me and said:
+
+<p>"Speak in German&mdash;these Germans may understand English."
+
+<p>I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there
+was not a German in that party who did not understand
+English perfectly.  It is curious how widespread our language
+is in Germany.  After a while some of those folks got out
+and a German gentleman and his two young daughters got in.
+I spoke in German of one of the latter several times,
+but without result.  Finally she said:
+
+<p>"ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"&mdash;or words to
+that effect.  That is, "I don't understand any language
+but German and English."
+
+<p>And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister
+spoke English.  So after that we had all the talk we wanted;
+and we wanted a good deal, for they were agreeable people.
+They were greatly interested in our customs; especially
+the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
+They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we
+must be going to Switzerland or some other rugged country;
+and asked us if we did not find the walking pretty fatiguing
+in such warm weather.  But we said no.
+
+<p>We reached Wimpfen&mdash;I think it was Wimpfen&mdash;in about
+three hours, and got out, not the least tired; found a
+good hotel and ordered beer and dinner&mdash;then took
+a stroll through the venerable old village.  It was very
+picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting.
+It had queer houses five hundred years old in it,
+and a military tower 115 feet high, which had stood there
+more than ten centuries.  I made a little sketch of it.
+I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p105a"></a><img alt="p105a.jpg (20K)" src="images/p105a.jpg" height="403" width="293">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I think the original was better than the copy, because it
+had more windows in it and the grass stood up better and had
+a brisker look.  There was none around the tower, though;
+I composed the grass myself, from studies I made in a field
+by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time.  The man on top,
+looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
+he could not be made smaller, conveniently.  I wanted
+him there, and I wanted him visible, so I thought out a
+way to manage it; I composed the picture from two points
+of view; the spectator is to observe the man from bout
+where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself
+from the ground.  This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy.
+[Figure 2]
+
+<p>Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses
+of stone&mdash;moldy and damaged things, bearing life-size
+stone figures.  The two thieves were dressed in the fanciful
+court costumes of the middle of the sixteenth century,
+while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a cloth
+around the loins.
+
+<p>We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging
+to the hotel and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke,
+we went to bed.  We had a refreshing nap, then got up
+about three in the afternoon and put on our panoply.
+As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town,
+we overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and
+ends of cabbages and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn
+by a small cow and a smaller donkey yoked together.
+It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into Heilbronn
+before dark&mdash;five miles, or possibly it was seven.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p105b"></a><img alt="p105b.jpg (37K)" src="images/p105b.jpg" height="299" width="555">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old
+robber-knight and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen,
+abode in after he got out of captivity in the Square Tower
+of Heilbronn between three hundred and fifty and four hundred
+years ago.  Harris and I occupied the same room which he
+had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off
+the walls yet.  The furniture was quaint old carved stuff,
+full four hundred years old, and some of the smells
+were over a thousand.  There was a hook in the wall,
+which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to
+hang his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed.
+This room was very large&mdash;it might be called
+immense&mdash;and it was on the first floor; which means it was in
+the second story, for in Europe the houses are so high
+that they do not count the first story, else they
+would get tired climbing before they got to the top.
+The wallpaper was a fiery red, with huge gold figures in it,
+well smirched by time, and it covered all the doors.
+These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures
+of the paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed
+one had to go feeling and searching along the wall
+to find them.  There was a stove in the corner&mdash;one
+of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things
+that looks like a monument and keeps you thinking
+of death when you ought to be enjoying your travels.
+The windows looked out on a little alley, and over that
+into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear
+of some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds
+in the room, one in one end, the other in the other,
+about an old-fashioned brass-mounted, single-barreled
+pistol-shot apart.  They were fully as narrow as the usual
+German bed, too, and had the German bed's ineradicable
+habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time
+you forgot yourself and went to sleep.
+
+<p>A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the
+center of the room; while the waiters were getting
+ready to serve our dinner on it we all went out to see
+the renowned clock on the front of the municipal buildings.
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch12"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XII</h2>
+<h3>[What the Wives Saved]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>The RATHHAUS, or municipal building, is of the quaintest
+and most picturesque Middle-Age architecture.  It has a
+massive portico and steps, before it, heavily balustraded,
+and adorned with life-sized rusty iron knights in
+complete armor.  The clock-face on the front of the building
+is very large and of curious pattern.  Ordinarily, a gilded
+angel strikes the hour on a big bell with a hammer;
+as the striking ceases, a life-sized figure of Time raises
+its hour-glass and turns it; two golden rams advance
+and butt each other; a gilded cock lifts its wings;
+but the main features are two great angels, who stand
+on each side of the dial with long horns at their lips;
+it was said that they blew melodious blasts on these
+horns every hour&mdash;but they did not do it for us.
+We were told, later, than they blew only at night,
+when the town was still.
+
+<p>Within the RATHHAUS were a number of huge wild boars'
+heads, preserved, and mounted on brackets along the wall;
+they bore inscriptions telling who killed them and how many
+hundred years ago it was done.  One room in the building
+was devoted to the preservation of ancient archives.
+There they showed us no end of aged documents; some were
+signed by Popes, some by Tilly and other great generals,
+and one was a letter written and subscribed by Goetz von
+Berlichingen in Heilbronn in 1519 just after his release
+from the Square Tower.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p109"></a><img alt="p109.jpg (85K)" src="images/p109.jpg" height="895" width="601">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This fine old robber-knight was a devoutly and sincerely
+religious man, hospitable, charitable to the poor,
+fearless in fight, active, enterprising, and possessed
+of a large and generous nature.  He had in him a
+quality of being able to overlook moderate injuries,
+and being able to forgive and forget mortal ones as
+soon as he had soundly trounced the authors of them.
+He was prompt to take up any poor devil's quarrel and risk
+his neck to right him.  The common folk held him dear,
+and his memory is still green in ballad and tradition.
+He used to go on the highway and rob rich wayfarers;
+and other times he would swoop down from his high castle
+on the hills of the Neckar and capture passing cargoes
+of merchandise.  In his memoirs he piously thanks the
+Giver of all Good for remembering him in his needs and
+delivering sundry such cargoes into his hands at times
+when only special providences could have relieved him.
+He was a doughty warrior and found a deep joy in battle.
+In an assault upon a stronghold in Bavaria when he was
+only twenty-three years old, his right hand was shot away,
+but he was so interested in the fight that he did not
+observe it for a while.  He said that the iron hand
+which was made for him afterward, and which he wore for
+more than half a century, was nearly as clever a member
+as the fleshy one had been.  I was glad to get a facsimile
+of the letter written by this fine old German Robin Hood,
+though I was not able to read it.  He was a better artist
+with his sword than with his pen.
+
+<p>We went down by the river and saw the Square Tower.
+It was a very venerable structure, very strong,
+and very ornamental.  There was no opening near the ground.
+They had to use a ladder to get into it, no doubt.
+
+<p>We visited the principal church, also&mdash;a curious
+old structure, with a towerlike spire adorned with all
+sorts of grotesque images.  The inner walls of the church
+were placarded with large mural tablets of copper,
+bearing engraved inscriptions celebrating the merits
+of old Heilbronn worthies of two or three centuries ago,
+and also bearing rudely painted effigies of themselves
+and their families tricked out in the queer costumes of
+those days.  The head of the family sat in the foreground,
+and beyond him extended a sharply receding and diminishing
+row of sons; facing him sat his wife, and beyond
+her extended a low row of diminishing daughters.
+The family was usually large, but the perspective bad.
+
+<p>Then we hired the hack and the horse which Goetz von
+Berlichingen used to use, and drove several miles into
+the country to visit the place called WEIBERTREU&mdash;Wife's
+Fidelity I suppose it means.  It was a feudal castle
+of the Middle Ages.  When we reached its neighborhood we
+found it was beautifully situated, but on top of a mound,
+or hill, round and tolerably steep, and about two hundred
+feet high.  Therefore, as the sun was blazing hot,
+we did not climb up there, but took the place on trust,
+and observed it from a distance while the horse leaned up
+against a fence and rested.  The place has no interest
+except that which is lent it by its legend, which is
+a very pretty one&mdash;to this effect:
+
+<p>THE LEGEND
+
+<p>In the Middle Ages, a couple of young dukes, brothers,
+took opposite sides in one of the wars, the one fighting
+for the Emperor, the other against him.  One of them
+owned the castle and village on top of the mound which I
+have been speaking of, and in his absence his brother
+came with his knights and soldiers and began a siege.
+It was a long and tedious business, for the people
+made a stubborn and faithful defense.  But at last
+their supplies ran out and starvation began its work;
+more fell by hunger than by the missiles of the enemy.
+They by and by surrendered, and begged for charitable terms.
+But the beleaguering prince was so incensed against them
+for their long resistance that he said he would spare none
+but the women and children&mdash;all men should be put to the
+sword without exception, and all their goods destroyed.
+Then the women came and fell on their knees and begged for
+the lives of their husbands.
+
+<p>"No," said the prince, "not a man of them shall escape alive;
+you yourselves shall go with your children into houseless
+and friendless banishment; but that you may not starve
+I grant you this one grace, that each woman may bear
+with her from this place as much of her most valuable
+property as she is able to carry."
+
+<p>Very well, presently the gates swung open and out filed
+those women carrying their HUSBANDS on their shoulders.
+The besiegers, furious at the trick, rushed forward
+to slaughter the men, but the Duke stepped between and
+said:
+
+<p>"No, put up your swords&mdash;a prince's word is inviolable."
+
+<p>When we got back to the hotel, King Arthur's Round Table
+was ready for us in its white drapery, and the head waiter
+and his first assistant, in swallow-tails and white cravats,
+brought in the soup and the hot plates at once.
+
+<p>Mr. X had ordered the dinner, and when the wine came on,
+he picked up a bottle, glanced at the label, and then turned
+to the grave, the melancholy, the sepulchral head waiter
+and said it was not the sort of wine he had asked for.
+The head waiter picked up the bottle, cast his undertaker-eye
+on it and said:
+
+<p>"It is true; I beg pardon." Then he turned on his
+subordinate and calmly said, "Bring another label."
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p111"></a><img alt="p111.jpg (22K)" src="images/p111.jpg" height="627" width="261">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>At the same time he slid the present label off with his hand
+and laid it aside; it had been newly put on, its paste
+was still wet.  When the new label came, he put it on;
+our French wine being now turned into German wine,
+according to desire, the head waiter went blandly about his
+other duties, as if the working of this sort of miracle
+was a common and easy thing to him.
+
+<p>Mr. X said he had not known, before, that there were
+people honest enough to do this miracle in public,
+but he was aware that thousands upon thousands of labels
+were imported into America from Europe every year,
+to enable dealers to furnish to their customers in a quiet
+and inexpensive way all the different kinds of foreign
+wines they might require.
+
+<p>We took a turn around the town, after dinner, and found
+it fully as interesting in the moonlight as it had been
+in the daytime.  The streets were narrow and roughly paved,
+and there was not a sidewalk or a street-lamp anywhere.
+The dwellings were centuries old, and vast enough for hotels.
+They widened all the way up; the stories projected
+further and further forward and aside as they ascended,
+and the long rows of lighted windows, filled with little bits
+of panes, curtained with figured white muslin and adorned
+outside with boxes of flowers, made a pretty effect.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p112"></a><img alt="p112.jpg (34K)" src="images/p112.jpg" height="559" width="317">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>The moon was bright, and the light and shadow very strong;
+and nothing could be more picturesque than those curving
+streets, with their rows of huge high gables leaning
+far over toward each other in a friendly gossiping way,
+and the crowds below drifting through the alternating blots
+of gloom and mellow bars of moonlight.  Nearly everybody
+was abroad, chatting, singing, romping, or massed in lazy
+comfortable attitudes in the doorways.
+
+<p>In one place there was a public building which was
+fenced about with a thick, rusty chain, which sagged
+from post to post in a succession of low swings.
+The pavement, here, was made of heavy blocks of stone.
+In the glare of the moon a party of barefooted children
+were swinging on those chains and having a noisy good time.
+They were not the first ones who have done that;
+even their great-great-grandfathers had not been the first
+to do it when they were children.  The strokes of the bare
+feet had worn grooves inches deep in the stone flags;
+it had taken many generations of swinging children to
+accomplish that.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p113"></a><img alt="p113.jpg (39K)" src="images/p113.jpg" height="453" width="575">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Everywhere in the town were the mold
+and decay that go with antiquity, and evidence of it;
+but I do not know that anything else gave us so vivid
+a sense of the old age of Heilbronn as those footworn
+grooves in the paving-stones.
+
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch13"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2>
+<h3>[My Long Crawl in the Dark]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<p>When we got back to the hotel I wound and set the
+pedometer and put it in my pocket, for I was to carry
+it next day and keep record of the miles we made.
+The work which we had given the instrument to do during
+the day which had just closed had not fatigued it perceptibly.
+
+<p>We were in bed by ten, for we wanted to be up and away on
+our tramp homeward with the dawn.  I hung fire, but Harris
+went to sleep at once.  I hate a man who goes to sleep
+at once; there is a sort of indefinable something about it
+which is not exactly an insult, and yet is an insolence;
+and one which is hard to bear, too.  I lay there fretting
+over this injury, and trying to go to sleep; but the harder
+I tried, the wider awake I grew.  I got to feeling very lonely
+in the dark, with no company but an undigested dinner.
+My mind got a start by and by, and began to consider the
+beginning of every subject which has ever been thought of;
+but it never went further than the beginning; it was touch
+and go; it fled from topic to topic with a frantic speed.
+At the end of an hour my head was in a perfect whirl and I
+was dead tired, fagged out.
+
+<p>The fatigue was so great that it presently began to make some
+head against the nervous excitement; while imagining myself
+wide awake, I would really doze into momentary unconsciousness,
+and come suddenly out of it with a physical jerk which nearly
+wrenched my joints apart&mdash;the delusion of the instant
+being that I was tumbling backward over a precipice.
+After I had fallen over eight or nine precipices and thus
+found out that one half of my brain had been asleep eight
+or nine times without the wide-awake, hard-working other
+half suspecting it, the periodical unconsciousnesses
+began to extend their spell gradually over more of my
+brain-territory, and at last I sank into a drowse which
+grew deeper and deeper and was doubtless just on the very
+point of being a solid, blessed dreamless stupor, when&mdash;what was
+that?
+
+<p>My dulled faculties dragged themselves partly back to life
+and took a receptive attitude.  Now out of an immense,
+a limitless distance, came a something which grew and grew,
+and approached, and presently was recognizable as a
+sound&mdash;it had rather seemed to be a feeling, before.  This sound
+was a mile away, now&mdash;perhaps it was the murmur of a storm;
+and now it was nearer&mdash;not a quarter of a mile away;
+was it the muffled rasping and grinding of distant
+machinery? No, it came still nearer; was it the measured
+tramp of a marching troop? But it came nearer still,
+and still nearer&mdash;and at last it was right in the room: it
+was merely a mouse gnawing the woodwork.  So I had held my
+breath all that time for such a trifle.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p115"></a><img alt="p115.jpg (72K)" src="images/p115.jpg" height="825" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Well, what was done could not be helped; I would go
+to sleep at once and make up the lost time.  That was
+a thoughtless thought.  Without intending it&mdash;hardly
+knowing it&mdash;I fell to listening intently to that sound,
+and even unconsciously counting the strokes of the mouse's
+nutmeg-grater. Presently I was deriving exquisite suffering
+from this employment, yet maybe I could have endured
+it if the mouse had attended steadily to his work;
+but he did not do that; he stopped every now and then,
+and I suffered more while waiting and listening for
+him to begin again than I did while he was gnawing.
+Along at first I was mentally offering a reward
+of five&mdash;six&mdash;seven&mdash;ten&mdash;dollars for that mouse;
+but toward the last I was offering rewards which were
+entirely beyond my means.  I close-reefed my
+ears&mdash;that is to say, I bent the flaps of them down and furled
+them into five or six folds, and pressed them against
+the hearing-orifice&mdash;but it did no good: the faculty
+was so sharpened by nervous excitement that it was become
+a microphone and could hear through the overlays without trouble.
+
+<p>
+My anger grew to a frenzy.  I finally did what all persons
+before me have done, clear back to Adam,&mdash;resolved to
+throw something.  I reached down and got my walking-shoes,
+then sat up in bed and listened, in order to exactly locate
+the noise.  But I couldn't do it; it was as unlocatable
+as a cricket's noise; and where one thinks that that is,
+is always the very place where it isn't. So I presently
+hurled a shoe at random, and with a vicious vigor.
+It struck the wall over Harris's head and fell down on him;
+I had not imagined I could throw so far.  It woke Harris,
+and I was glad of it until I found he was not angry;
+then I was sorry.  He soon went to sleep again,
+which pleased me; but straightway the mouse began again,
+which roused my temper once more.  I did not want to wake
+Harris a second time, but the gnawing continued until I
+was compelled to throw the other shoe.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p117"></a><img alt="p117.jpg (29K)" src="images/p117.jpg" height="404" width="370">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>This time I broke
+a mirror&mdash;there were two in the room&mdash;I got the largest one,
+of course.  Harris woke again, but did not complain,
+and I was sorrier than ever.  I resolved that I would
+suffer all possible torture before I would disturb him a
+third time.
+
+<p>The mouse eventually retired, and by and by I was sinking
+to sleep, when a clock began to strike; I counted till
+it was done, and was about to drowse again when another
+clock began; I counted; then the two great RATHHAUS clock
+angels began to send forth soft, rich, melodious blasts
+from their long trumpets.  I had never heard anything
+that was so lovely, or weird, or mysterious&mdash;but when they
+got to blowing the quarter-hours, they seemed to me to be
+overdoing the thing.  Every time I dropped off for the moment,
+a new noise woke me.  Each time I woke I missed my coverlet,
+and had to reach down to the floor and get it again.
+
+<p>At last all sleepiness forsook me.  I recognized the fact
+that I was hopelessly and permanently wide awake.
+Wide awake, and feverish and thirsty.  When I had lain
+tossing there as long as I could endure it, it occurred
+to me that it would be a good idea to dress and go out in
+the great square and take a refreshing wash in the fountain,
+and smoke and reflect there until the remnant of the night
+was gone.
+
+<p>I believed I could dress in the dark without waking Harris.
+I had banished my shoes after the mouse, but my slippers
+would do for a summer night.  So I rose softly, and gradually
+got on everything&mdash;down to one sock.  I couldn't seem
+to get on the track of that sock, any way I could fix it.
+But I had to have it; so I went down on my hands and knees,
+with one slipper on and the other in my hand, and began to
+paw gently around and rake the floor, but with no success.
+I enlarged my circle, and went on pawing and raking.
+With every pressure of my knee, how the floor creaked!
+and every time I chanced to rake against any article,
+it seemed to give out thirty-five or thirty-six times
+more noise than it would have done in the daytime.
+In those cases I always stopped and held my breath till I
+was sure Harris had not awakened&mdash;then I crept along again.
+I moved on and on, but I could not find the sock;
+I could not seem to find anything but furniture.
+I could not remember that there was much furniture
+in the room when I went to bed, but the place was alive
+with it now &mdash;especially chairs&mdash;chairs
+everywhere&mdash;had a couple of families moved in, in the mean time? And
+I never could seem to GLANCE on one of those chairs,
+but always struck it full and square with my head.
+My temper rose, by steady and sure degrees, and as I
+pawed on and on, I fell to making vicious comments under
+my breath.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p118"></a><img alt="p118.jpg (36K)" src="images/p118.jpg" height="423" width="551">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>Finally, with a venomous access of irritation, I said I
+would leave without the sock; so I rose up and made straight
+for the door&mdash;as I supposed&mdash;and suddenly confronted my
+dim spectral image in the unbroken mirror.  It startled
+the breath out of me, for an instant; it also showed me
+that I was lost, and had no sort of idea where I was.
+When I realized this, I was so angry that I had to sit
+down on the floor and take hold of something to keep
+from lifting the roof off with an explosion of opinion.
+If there had been only one mirror, it might possibly have
+helped to locate me; but there were two, and two were as
+bad as a thousand; besides, these were on opposite sides
+of the room.  I could see the dim blur of the windows,
+but in my turned-around condition they were exactly
+where they ought not to be, and so they only confused me
+instead of helping me.
+
+<p>I started to get up, and knocked down an umbrella;
+it made a noise like a pistol-shot when it struck
+that hard, slick, carpetless floor; I grated my teeth
+and held my breath&mdash;Harris did not stir.  I set the
+umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall,
+but as soon as I took my hand away, its heel slipped
+from under it, and down it came again with another bang.
+I shrunk together and listened a moment in silent
+fury&mdash;no harm done, everything quiet.  With the most painstaking
+care and nicety, I stood the umbrella up once more,
+took my hand away, and down it came again.
+
+<p>I have been strictly reared, but if it had not been
+so dark and solemn and awful there in that lonely,
+vast room, I do believe I should have said something
+then which could not be put into a Sunday-school book
+without injuring the sale of it.  If my reasoning powers
+had not been already sapped dry by my harassments,
+I would have known better than to try to set an umbrella
+on end on one of those glassy German floors in the dark;
+it can't be done in the daytime without four failures
+to one success.  I had one comfort, though&mdash;Harris was
+yet still and silent&mdash;he had not stirred.
+
+<p>The umbrella could not locate me&mdash;there were four
+standing around the room, and all alike.  I thought I
+would feel along the wall and find the door in that way.
+I rose up and began this operation, but raked down
+a picture.  It was not a large one, but it made noise
+enough for a panorama.  Harris gave out no sound, but I
+felt that if I experimented any further with the pictures
+I should be sure to wake him.  Better give up trying to
+get out.  Yes, I would find King Arthur's Round Table once
+more&mdash;I had already found it several times&mdash;and use it
+for a base of departure on an exploring tour for my bed;
+if I could find my bed I could then find my water pitcher;
+I would quench my raging thirst and turn in.  So I started
+on my hands and knees, because I could go faster that way,
+and with more confidence, too, and not knock down things.
+By and by I found the table&mdash;with my head&mdash;rubbed the
+bruise a little, then rose up and started, with hands
+abroad and fingers spread, to balance myself.  I found
+a chair; then a wall; then another chair; then a sofa;
+then an alpenstock, then another sofa; this confounded me,
+for I had thought there was only one sofa.  I hunted
+up the table again and took a fresh start; found some
+more chairs.
+
+<p>It occurred to me, now, as it ought to have done before,
+that as the table was round, it was therefore of no
+value as a base to aim from; so I moved off once more,
+and at random among the wilderness of chairs and
+sofas&mdash;wandering off into unfamiliar regions, and presently knocked
+a candlestick and knocked off a lamp, grabbed at the lamp
+and knocked off a water pitcher with a rattling crash,
+and thought to myself, "I've found you at last&mdash;I
+judged I was close upon you." Harris shouted "murder,"
+and "thieves," and finished with "I'm absolutely drowned."
+
+<p>The crash had roused the house.  Mr. X pranced in,
+in his long night-garment, with a candle, young Z after him
+with another candle; a procession swept in at another door,
+with candles and lanterns&mdash;landlord and two German guests
+in their nightgowns and a chambermaid in hers.
+
+<p>I looked around; I was at Harris's bed, a Sabbath-day's
+journey from my own.  There was only one sofa; it was against
+the wall; there was only one chair where a body could get
+at it&mdash;I had been revolving around it like a planet,
+and colliding with it like a comet half the night.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p121"></a><img alt="p121.jpg (52K)" src="images/p121.jpg" height="601" width="369">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>I explained how I had been employing myself, and why.
+Then the landlord's party left, and the rest of us set
+about our preparations for breakfast, for the dawn was
+ready to break.  I glanced furtively at my pedometer,
+and found I had made 47 miles.  But I did not care, for I
+had come out for a pedestrian tour anyway.
+
+
+
+<br><br><br><br><br><br>
+<a name="ch14"></a><center><h2>CHAPTER XIV</h2>
+<h3>[Rafting Down the Neckar]</h3></center>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+<p>When the landlord learned that I and my agents were artists,
+our party rose perceptibly in his esteem; we rose still
+higher when he learned that we were making a pedestrian
+tour of Europe.
+
+<p>He told us all about the Heidelberg road, and which
+were the best places to avoid and which the best ones
+to tarry at; he charged me less than cost for the things
+I broke in the night; he put up a fine luncheon for us
+and added to it a quantity of great light-green plums,
+the pleasantest fruit in Germany; he was so anxious to do us
+honor that he would not allow us to walk out of Heilbronn,
+but called up Goetz von Berlichingen's horse and cab
+and made us ride.
+
+<p>I made a sketch of the turnout.  It is not a Work, it is only
+what artists call a "study"&mdash;a thing to make a finished
+picture from.  This sketch has several blemishes in it;
+for instance, the wagon is not traveling as fast as the
+horse is.  This is wrong.  Again, the person trying to get
+out of the way is too small; he is out of perspective,
+as we say.  The two upper lines are not the horse's back,
+they are the reigns; there seems to be a wheel
+missing&mdash;this would be corrected in a finished Work, of course.
+This thing flying out behind is not a flag, it is a curtain.
+That other thing up there is the sun, but I didn't get
+enough distance on it.  I do not remember, now, what that
+thing is that is in front of the man who is running,
+but I think it is a haystack or a woman.  This study
+was exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1879, but did not
+take any medal; they do not give medals for studies.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p123"></a><img alt="p123.jpg (29K)" src="images/p123.jpg" height="885" width="287">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>We discharged the carriage at the bridge.  The river was
+full of logs&mdash;long, slender, barkless pine logs&mdash;and we
+leaned on the rails of the bridge, and watched the men put
+them together into rafts.  These rafts were of a shape
+and construction to suit the crookedness and extreme
+narrowness of the Neckar.  They were from fifty to one
+hundred yards long, and they gradually tapered from a
+nine-log breadth at their sterns, to a three-log breadth
+at their bow-ends. The main part of the steering is done
+at the bow, with a pole; the three-log breadth there
+furnishes room for only the steersman, for these little logs
+are not larger around than an average young lady's waist.
+The connections of the several sections of the raft are
+slack and pliant, so that the raft may be readily bent
+into any sort of curve required by the shape of the river.
+
+<p>The Neckar is in many places so narrow that a person
+can throw a dog across it, if he has one; when it is
+also sharply curved in such places, the raftsman has
+to do some pretty nice snug piloting to make the turns.
+The river is not always allowed to spread over its whole
+bed&mdash;which is as much as thirty, and sometimes forty yards
+wide&mdash;but is split into three equal bodies of water,
+by stone dikes which throw the main volume, depth, and current
+into the central one.  In low water these neat narrow-edged
+dikes project four or five inches above the surface,
+like the comb of a submerged roof, but in high water
+they are overflowed.  A hatful of rain makes high water
+in the Neckar, and a basketful produces an overflow.
+
+<p>There are dikes abreast the Schloss Hotel, and the current
+is violently swift at that point.  I used to sit for hours
+in my glass cage, watching the long, narrow rafts slip
+along through the central channel, grazing the right-bank
+dike and aiming carefully for the middle arch of the stone
+bridge below; I watched them in this way, and lost all this
+time hoping to see one of them hit the bridge-pier and wreck
+itself sometime or other, but was always disappointed.
+One was smashed there one morning, but I had just stepped
+into my room a moment to light a pipe, so I lost it.
+
+<p>While I was looking down upon the rafts that morning
+in Heilbronn, the daredevil spirit of adventure came
+suddenly upon me, and I said to my comrades:
+
+<p>"I am going to Heidelberg on a raft.  Will you venture
+with me?"
+
+<p>Their faces paled a little, but they assented with as
+good a grace as they could.  Harris wanted to cable his
+mother&mdash;thought it his duty to do that, as he was all
+she had in this world&mdash;so, while he attended to this,
+I went down to the longest and finest raft and hailed
+the captain with a hearty "Ahoy, shipmate!" which put us
+upon pleasant terms at once, and we entered upon business.
+I said we were on a pedestrian tour to Heidelberg,
+and would like to take passage with him.  I said this
+partly through young Z, who spoke German very well,
+and partly through Mr. X, who spoke it peculiarly.  I can
+UNDERSTAND German as well as the maniac that invented it,
+but I TALK it best through an interpreter.
+
+<p>The captain hitched up his trousers, then shifted
+his quid thoughtfully.  Presently he said just what I
+was expecting he would say&mdash;that he had no license
+to carry passengers, and therefore was afraid the law
+would be after him in case the matter got noised about
+or any accident happened.  So I CHARTERED the raft
+and the crew and took all the responsibilities on myself.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p125"></a><img alt="p125.jpg (58K)" src="images/p125.jpg" height="713" width="477">
+</center>
+<br><br><br><br>
+
+<p>With a rattling song the starboard watch bent to their
+work and hove the cable short, then got the anchor home,
+and our bark moved off with a stately stride, and soon
+was bowling along at about two knots an hour.
+
+<p>Our party were grouped amidships.  At first the talk was
+a little gloomy, and ran mainly upon the shortness of life,
+the uncertainty of it, the perils which beset it, and the
+need and wisdom of being always prepared for the worst;
+this shaded off into low-voiced references to the dangers
+of the deep, and kindred matters; but as the gray east
+began to redden and the mysterious solemnity and silence
+of the dawn to give place to the joy-songs of the birds,
+the talk took a cheerier tone, and our spirits began to
+rise steadily.
+
+<p>Germany, in the summer, is the perfection of the beautiful,
+but nobody has understood, and realized, and enjoyed
+the utmost possibilities of this soft and peaceful
+beauty unless he has voyaged down the Neckar on a raft.
+The motion of a raft is the needful motion; it is gentle,
+and gliding, and smooth, and noiseless; it calms down
+all feverish activities, it soothes to sleep all nervous
+hurry and impatience; under its restful influence all the
+troubles and vexations and sorrows that harass the mind
+vanish away, and existence becomes a dream, a charm,
+a deep and tranquil ecstasy.  How it contrasts with hot
+and perspiring pedestrianism, and dusty and deafening
+railroad rush, and tedious jolting behind tired horses
+over blinding white roads!
+
+<p>We went slipping silently along, between the green and
+fragrant banks, with a sense of pleasure and contentment
+that grew, and grew, all the time.  Sometimes the banks
+were overhung with thick masses of willows that wholly
+hid the ground behind; sometimes we had noble hills on
+one hand, clothed densely with foliage to their tops,
+and on the other hand open levels blazing with poppies,
+or clothed in the rich blue of the corn-flower;
+sometimes we drifted in the shadow of forests, and sometimes
+along the margin of long stretches of velvety grass,
+fresh and green and bright, a tireless charm to the eye.
+And the birds!&mdash;they were everywhere; they swept back
+and forth across the river constantly, and their jubilant
+music was never stilled.
+
+<p>It was a deep and satisfying pleasure to see the sun
+create the new morning, and gradually, patiently,
+lovingly, clothe it on with splendor after splendor,
+and glory after glory, till the miracle was complete.
+How different is this marvel observed from a raft,
+from what it is when one observes it through the dingy
+windows of a railway-station in some wretched village
+while he munches a petrified sandwich and waits for the train.
+
+<br><br><br><br>
+<center><a name="p127"></a><img alt="p127.jpg (23K)" src="images/p127.jpg" height="513" width="417">
+</center>
+<br><br>
+<br><br>
+
+
+<p>[Transcriber's Note for edition 12: on the advice of two
+German-speaking volunteers, the German letters a, o, and u with
+umlauts have been rendered as ae, oe, and ue instead of as,
+variously, :a, a", :o, o" and :u, u" as in previous editions.]
+
+
+
+<br>
+<br>
+<hr>
+<br><br>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, Part 2
+by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
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diff --git a/old/200406.5783.txt b/old/200406.5783.txt
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+Project Gutenberg's A Tramp Abroad, Part 2, by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
+
+
+Title: A Tramp Abroad, Part 2
+
+Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
+
+Release Date: June 18, 2004 [EBook #5783]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A TRAMP ABROAD, PART 2 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger (Illustrated HTML version)
+
+
+
+
+
+                    A TRAMP ABROAD
+
+                     By Mark Twain
+                  (Samuel L. Clemens)
+
+                First published in 1880
+
+
+                      Part 2.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+The Great French Duel
+[I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel]
+
+Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain
+smart people, it is in reality one of the most dangerous
+institutions of our day.  Since it is always fought in the
+open air, the combatants are nearly sure to catch cold.
+M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French
+duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at
+last a confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris
+has expressed the opinion that if he goes on dueling for
+fifteen or twenty years more--unless he forms the habit
+of fighting in a comfortable room where damps and draughts
+cannot intrude--he will eventually endanger his life.
+This ought to moderate the talk of those people who are
+so stubborn in maintaining that the French duel is the
+most health-giving of recreations because of the open-air
+exercise it affords.  And it ought also to moderate that
+foolish talk about French duelists and socialist-hated
+monarchs being the only people who are immoral.
+
+But it is time to get at my subject.  As soon as I heard
+of the late fiery outbreak between M. Gambetta and M. Fourtou
+in the French Assembly, I knew that trouble must follow.
+I knew it because a long personal friendship with
+M. Gambetta revealed to me the desperate and implacable
+nature of the man.  Vast as are his physical proportions,
+I knew that the thirst for revenge would penetrate
+to the remotest frontiers of his person.
+
+I did not wait for him to call on me, but went at once
+to him.  As I had expected, I found the brave fellow
+steeped in a profound French calm.  I say French calm,
+because French calmness and English calmness have points
+of difference.  He was moving swiftly back and forth
+among the debris of his furniture, now and then staving
+chance fragments of it across the room with his foot;
+grinding a constant grist of curses through his set teeth;
+and halting every little while to deposit another handful
+of his hair on the pile which he had been building of it on
+the table.
+
+He threw his arms around my neck, bent me over his stomach
+to his breast, kissed me on both cheeks, hugged me four
+or five times, and then placed me in his own arm-chair.
+As soon as I had got well again, we began business at once.
+
+I said I supposed he would wish me to act as his second,
+and he said, "Of course." I said I must be allowed
+to act under a French name, so that I might be shielded
+from obloquy in my country, in case of fatal results.
+He winced here, probably at the suggestion that dueling was
+not regarded with respect in America.  However, he agreed
+to my requirement.  This accounts for the fact that in all
+the newspaper reports M. Gambetta's second was apparently
+a Frenchman.
+
+First, we drew up my principal's will.  I insisted upon this,
+and stuck to my point.  I said I had never heard of a man
+in his right mind going out to fight a duel without
+first making his will.  He said he had never heard
+of a man in his right mind doing anything of the kind.
+When he had finished the will, he wished to proceed
+to a choice of his "last words." He wanted to know
+how the following words, as a dying exclamation, struck me:
+
+"I die for my God, for my country, for freedom of speech,
+for progress, and the universal brotherhood of man!"
+
+I objected that this would require too lingering a death;
+it was a good speech for a consumptive, but not suited
+to the exigencies of the field of honor.  We wrangled
+over a good many ante-mortem outbursts, but I finally got
+him to cut his obituary down to this, which he copied
+into his memorandum-book, purposing to get it by heart:
+
+"I DIE THAT FRANCE MIGHT LIVE."
+
+I said that this remark seemed to lack relevancy; but he
+said relevancy was a matter of no consequence in last words,
+what you wanted was thrill.
+
+The next thing in order was the choice of weapons.
+My principal said he was not feeling well, and would leave
+that and the other details of the proposed meeting to me.
+Therefore I wrote the following note and carried it to
+M. Fourtou's friend:
+
+Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge,
+and authorizes me to propose Plessis-Piquet as the place
+of meeting; tomorrow morning at daybreak as the time;
+and axes as the weapons.
+
+I am, sir, with great respect,
+
+Mark Twain.
+
+M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered.
+Then he turned to me, and said, with a suggestion of
+severity in his tone:
+
+"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable
+result of such a meeting as this?"
+
+"Well, for instance, what WOULD it be?"
+
+"Bloodshed!"
+
+"That's about the size of it," I said.  "Now, if it is
+a fair question, what was your side proposing to shed?"
+
+I had him there.  He saw he had made a blunder, so he hastened
+to explain it away.  He said he had spoken jestingly.
+Then he added that he and his principal would enjoy axes,
+and indeed prefer them, but such weapons were barred
+by the French code, and so I must change my proposal.
+
+I walked the floor, turning the thing over in my mind,
+and finally it occurred to me that Gatling-guns at fifteen
+paces would be a likely way to get a verdict on the field
+of honor.  So I framed this idea into a proposition.
+
+But it was not accepted.  The code was in the way again.
+I proposed rifles; then double-barreled shotguns;
+then Colt's navy revolvers.  These being all rejected,
+I reflected awhile, and sarcastically suggested brickbats
+at three-quarters of a mile.  I always hate to fool away
+a humorous thing on a person who has no perception of humor;
+and it filled me with bitterness when this man went soberly
+away to submit the last proposition to his principal.
+
+He came back presently and said his principal was charmed
+with the idea of brickbats at three-quarters of a mile,
+but must decline on account of the danger to disinterested
+parties passing between them.  Then I said:
+
+"Well, I am at the end of my string, now.  Perhaps YOU
+would be good enough to suggest a weapon? Perhaps you
+have even had one in your mind all the time?"
+
+His countenance brightened, and he said with alacrity:
+
+"Oh, without doubt, monsieur!"
+
+So he fell to hunting in his pockets--pocket after pocket,
+and he had plenty of them--muttering all the while,
+"Now, what could I have done with them?"
+
+At last he was successful.  He fished out of his vest pocket
+a couple of little things which I carried to the light
+and ascertained to be pistols.  They were single-barreled
+and silver-mounted, and very dainty and pretty.
+I was not able to speak for emotion.  I silently hung
+one of them on my watch-chain, and returned the other.
+My companion in crime now unrolled a postage-stamp
+containing several cartridges, and gave me one of them.
+I asked if he meant to signify by this that our men were
+to be allowed but one shot apiece.  He replied that the
+French code permitted no more.  I then begged him to go
+and suggest a distance, for my mind was growing weak
+and confused under the strain which had been put upon it.
+He named sixty-five yards.  I nearly lost my patience.
+I said:
+
+"Sixty-five yards, with these instruments? Squirt-guns
+would be deadlier at fifty.  Consider, my friend,
+you and I are banded together to destroy life, not make
+it eternal."
+
+But with all my persuasions, all my arguments, I was only
+able to get him to reduce the distance to thirty-five yards;
+and even this concession he made with reluctance,
+and said with a sigh, "I wash my hands of this slaughter;
+on your head be it."
+
+There was nothing for me but to go home to my old
+lion-heart and tell my humiliating story.  When I entered,
+M. Gambetta was laying his last lock of hair upon the altar.
+He sprang toward me, exclaiming:
+
+"You have made the fatal arrangements--I see it in your eye!"
+
+"I have."
+
+His face paled a trifle, and he leaned upon the table
+for support.  He breathed thick and heavily for a moment
+or two, so tumultuous were his feelings; then he hoarsely
+whispered:
+
+"The weapon, the weapon! Quick! what is the weapon?"
+
+"This!" and I displayed that silver-mounted thing.
+He cast but one glance at it, then swooned ponderously
+to the floor.
+
+When he came to, he said mournfully:
+
+"The unnatural calm to which I have subjected myself
+has told upon my nerves.  But away with weakness!
+I will confront my fate like a man and a Frenchman."
+
+He rose to his feet, and assumed an attitude which
+for sublimity has never been approached by man,
+and has seldom been surpassed by statues.  Then he said,
+in his deep bass tones:
+
+"Behold, I am calm, I am ready; reveal to me the distance."
+
+"Thirty-five yards." ...
+
+I could not lift him up, of course; but I rolled him over,
+and poured water down his back.  He presently came to,
+and said:
+
+"Thirty-five yards--without a rest? But why ask? Since
+murder was that man's intention, why should he palter
+with small details? But mark you one thing: in my fall
+the world shall see how the chivalry of France meets death."
+
+After a long silence he asked:
+
+"Was nothing said about that man's family standing
+up with him, as an offset to my bulk? But no matter;
+I would not stoop to make such a suggestion; if he is
+not noble enough to suggest it himself, he is welcome
+to this advantage, which no honorable man would take."
+
+He now sank into a sort of stupor of reflection,
+which lasted some minutes; after which he broke silence with:
+
+"The hour--what is the hour fixed for the collision?"
+
+"Dawn, tomorrow."
+
+He seemed greatly surprised, and immediately said:
+
+"Insanity! I never heard of such a thing.  Nobody is
+abroad at such an hour."
+
+"That is the reason I named it.  Do you mean to say you
+want an audience?"
+
+"It is no time to bandy words.  I am astonished that M. Fourtou
+should ever have agreed to so strange an innovation.
+Go at once and require a later hour."
+
+I ran downstairs, threw open the front door, and almost
+plunged into the arms of M. Fourtou's second.  He said:
+
+"I have the honor to say that my principal strenuously
+objects to the hour chosen, and begs you will consent
+to change it to half past nine."
+
+"Any courtesy, sir, which it is in our power to extend
+is at the service of your excellent principal.  We agree
+to the proposed change of time."
+
+"I beg you to accept the thanks of my client." Then he
+turned to a person behind him, and said, "You hear, M. Noir,
+the hour is altered to half past nine."  Whereupon
+M. Noir bowed, expressed his thanks, and went away.
+My accomplice continued:
+
+"If agreeable to you, your chief surgeons and ours shall
+proceed to the field in the same carriage as is customary."
+
+"It is entirely agreeable to me, and I am obliged
+to you for mentioning the surgeons, for I am afraid
+I should not have thought of them.  How many shall
+I want? I supposed two or three will be enough?"
+
+"Two is the customary number for each party.  I refer
+to 'chief' surgeons; but considering the exalted positions
+occupied by our clients, it will be well and decorous
+that each of us appoint several consulting surgeons,
+from among the highest in the profession.  These will
+come in their own private carriages.  Have you engaged
+a hearse?"
+
+"Bless my stupidity, I never thought of it! I will attend
+to it right away.  I must seem very ignorant to you;
+but you must try to overlook that, because I have never
+had any experience of such a swell duel as this before.
+I have had a good deal to do with duels on the Pacific coast,
+but I see now that they were crude affairs.  A hearse--sho!
+we used to leave the elected lying around loose, and let
+anybody cord them up and cart them off that wanted to.
+Have you anything further to suggest?"
+
+"Nothing, except that the head undertakers shall ride together,
+as is usual.  The subordinates and mutes will go on foot,
+as is also usual.  I will see you at eight o'clock
+in the morning, and we will then arrange the order
+of the procession.  I have the honor to bid you a good day."
+
+I returned to my client, who said, "Very well;
+at what hour is the engagement to begin?"
+
+"Half past nine."
+
+"Very good indeed.; Have you sent the fact to the newspapers?"
+
+"SIR! If after our long and intimate friendship you can
+for a moment deem me capable of so base a treachery--"
+
+"Tut, tut! What words are these, my dear friend? Have I
+wounded you? Ah, forgive me; I am overloading you with labor.
+Therefore go on with the other details, and drop this
+one from your list.  The bloody-minded Fourtou will be
+sure to attend to it.  Or I myself--yes, to make certain,
+I will drop a note to my journalistic friend, M. Noir--"
+
+"Oh, come to think of it, you may save yourself the trouble;
+that other second has informed M. Noir."
+
+"H'm! I might have known it.  It is just like that Fourtou,
+who always wants to make a display."
+
+At half past nine in the morning the procession approached
+the field of Plessis-Piquet in the following order: first
+came our carriage--nobody in it but M. Gambetta and myself;
+then a carriage containing M. Fourtou and his second;
+then a carriage containing two poet-orators who did
+not believe in God, and these had MS.  funeral orations
+projecting from their breast pockets; then a carriage
+containing the head surgeons and their cases of instruments;
+then eight private carriages containing consulting surgeons;
+then a hack containing a coroner; then the two hearses;
+then a carriage containing the head undertakers;
+then a train of assistants and mutes on foot; and after
+these came plodding through the fog a long procession
+of camp followers, police, and citizens generally.
+It was a noble turnout, and would have made a fine display
+if we had had thinner weather.
+
+There was no conversation.  I spoke several times to
+my principal, but I judge he was not aware of it, for he
+always referred to his note-book and muttered absently,
+"I die that France might live."
+
+Arrived on the field, my fellow-second and I paced off
+the thirty-five yards, and then drew lots for choice
+of position.  This latter was but an ornamental ceremony,
+for all the choices were alike in such weather.
+These preliminaries being ended, I went to my principal
+and asked him if he was ready.  He spread himself out
+to his full width, and said in a stern voice, "Ready! Let
+the batteries be charged."
+
+The loading process was done in the presence of duly
+constituted witnesses.  We considered it best to perform
+this delicate service with the assistance of a lantern,
+on account of the state of the weather.  We now placed
+our men.
+
+At this point the police noticed that the public had massed
+themselves together on the right and left of the field;
+they therefore begged a delay, while they should put
+these poor people in a place of safety.
+
+The request was granted.
+
+The police having ordered the two multitudes to take
+positions behind the duelists, we were once more ready.
+The weather growing still more opaque, it was agreed between
+myself and the other second that before giving the fatal
+signal we should each deliver a loud whoop to enable
+the combatants to ascertain each other's whereabouts.
+
+I now returned to my principal, and was distressed
+to observe that he had lost a good deal of his spirit.
+I tried my best to hearten him.  I said, "Indeed, sir,
+things are not as bad as they seem.  Considering the character
+of the weapons, the limited number of shots allowed,
+the generous distance, the impenetrable solidity of the fog,
+and the added fact that one of the combatants is one-eyed
+and the other cross-eyed and near-sighted, it seems to me
+that this conflict need not necessarily be fatal.  There are
+chances that both of you may survive.  Therefore, cheer up;
+do not be downhearted."
+
+This speech had so good an effect that my principal
+immediately stretched forth his hand and said, "I am
+myself again; give me the weapon."
+
+I laid it, all lonely and forlorn, in the center of the vast
+solitude of his palm.  He gazed at it and shuddered.
+And still mournfully contemplating it, he murmured in a
+broken voice:
+
+"Alas, it is not death I dread, but mutilation."
+
+I heartened him once more, and with such success that he
+presently said, "Let the tragedy begin.  Stand at my back;
+do not desert me in this solemn hour, my friend."
+
+I gave him my promise.  I now assisted him to point
+his pistol toward the spot where I judged his adversary
+to be standing, and cautioned him to listen well and
+further guide himself by my fellow-second's whoop.
+Then I propped myself against M. Gambetta's back,
+and raised a rousing "Whoop-ee!" This was answered from
+out the far distances of the fog, and I immediately shouted:
+
+"One--two--three--FIRE!"
+
+Two little sounds like SPIT! SPIT! broke upon my ear,
+and in the same instant I was crushed to the earth under
+a mountain of flesh.  Bruised as I was, I was still able
+to catch a faint accent from above, to this effect:
+
+"I die for... for ... perdition take it,
+what IS it I die for? ... oh, yes--FRANCE! I die
+that France may live!"
+
+The surgeons swarmed around with their probes in
+their hands, and applied their microscopes to the whole
+area of M. Gambetta's person, with the happy result of
+finding nothing in the nature of a wound.  Then a scene
+ensued which was in every way gratifying and inspiriting.
+
+The two gladiators fell upon each other's neck, with floods
+of proud and happy tears; that other second embraced me;
+the surgeons, the orators, the undertakers, the police,
+everybody embraced, everybody congratulated, everybody cried,
+and the whole atmosphere was filled with praise and with
+joy unspeakable.
+
+It seems to me then that I would rather be a hero
+of a French duel than a crowned and sceptered monarch.
+
+When the commotion had somewhat subsided, the body
+of surgeons held a consultation, and after a good deal
+of debate decided that with proper care and nursing there
+was reason to believe that I would survive my injuries.
+My internal hurts were deemed the most serious, since it
+was apparent that a broken rib had penetrated my left lung,
+and that many of my organs had been pressed out so far
+to one side or the other of where they belonged, that it
+was doubtful if they would ever learn to perform their
+functions in such remote and unaccustomed localities.
+They then set my left arm in two places, pulled my right
+hip into its socket again, and re-elevated my nose.
+I was an object of great interest, and even admiration;
+and many sincere and warm-hearted persons had themselves
+introduced to me, and said they were proud to know
+the only man who had been hurt in a French duel in
+forty years.
+
+I was placed in an ambulance at the very head of the procession;
+and thus with gratifying 'ECLAT I was marched into Paris,
+the most conspicuous figure in that great spectacle,
+and deposited at the hospital.
+
+The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred
+upon me.  However, few escape that distinction.
+
+Such is the true version of the most memorable private
+conflict of the age.
+
+I have no complaints to make against any one.  I acted
+for myself, and I can stand the consequences.
+
+Without boasting, I think I may say I am not afraid
+to stand before a modern French duelist, but as long
+as I keep in my right mind I will never consent to stand
+behind one again.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX
+[What the Beautiful Maiden Said]
+
+One day we took the train and went down to Mannheim
+to see "King Lear" played in German.  It was a mistake.
+We sat in our seats three whole hours and never understood
+anything but the thunder and lightning; and even that
+was reversed to suit German ideas, for the thunder came
+first and the lightning followed after.
+
+The behavior of the audience was perfect.  There were
+no rustlings, or whisperings, or other little disturbances;
+each act was listened to in silence, and the applauding
+was done after the curtain was down.  The doors opened at
+half past four, the play began promptly at half past five,
+and within two minutes afterward all who were coming were
+in their seats, and quiet reigned.  A German gentleman
+in the train had said that a Shakespearian play was an
+appreciated treat in Germany and that we should find the
+house filled.  It was true; all the six tiers were filled,
+and remained so to the end--which suggested that it is
+not only balcony people who like Shakespeare in Germany,
+but those of the pit and gallery, too.
+
+Another time, we went to Mannheim and attended a shivaree
+--otherwise an opera--the one called "Lohengrin." The
+banging and slamming and booming and crashing were
+something beyond belief.  The racking and pitiless
+pain of it remains stored up in my memory alongside
+the memory of the time that I had my teeth fixed.
+There were circumstances which made it necessary for me
+to stay through the hour hours to the end, and I stayed;
+but the recollection of that long, dragging, relentless season
+of suffering is indestructible.  To have to endure it
+in silence, and sitting still, made it all the harder.
+I was in a railed compartment with eight or ten strangers,
+of the two sexes, and this compelled repression;
+yet at times the pain was so exquisite that I could hardly
+keep the tears back.  At those times, as the howlings
+and wailings and shrieking of the singers, and the ragings
+and roarings and explosions of the vast orchestra rose
+higher and higher, and wilder and wilder, and fiercer
+and fiercer, I could have cried if I had been alone.
+Those strangers would not have been surprised to see
+a man do such a thing who was being gradually skinned,
+but they would have marveled at it here, and made remarks
+about it no doubt, whereas there was nothing in the
+present case which was an advantage over being skinned.
+There was a wait of half an hour at the end of the first act,
+and I could not trust myself to do it, for I felt that I
+should desert to stay out.  There was another wait
+of half an hour toward nine o'clock, but I had gone
+through so much by that time that I had no spirit left,
+and so had no desire but to be let alone.
+
+I do not wish to suggest that the rest of the people there
+were like me, for, indeed, they were not.  Whether it
+was that they naturally liked that noise, or whether it
+was that they had learned to like it by getting used to it,
+I did not at the time know; but they did like--this was
+plain enough.  While it was going on they sat and looked
+as rapt and grateful as cats do when one strokes their backs;
+and whenever the curtain fell they rose to their feet,
+in one solid mighty multitude, and the air was snowed thick
+with waving handkerchiefs, and hurricanes of applause
+swept the place.  This was not comprehensible to me.
+Of course, there were many people there who were not
+under compulsion to stay; yet the tiers were as full at
+the close as they had been at the beginning.  This showed
+that the people liked it.
+
+It was a curious sort of a play.  In the manner
+of costumes and scenery it was fine and showy enough;
+but there was not much action.  That is to say,
+there was not much really done, it was only talked about;
+and always violently.  It was what one might call a
+narrative play.  Everybody had a narrative and a grievance,
+and none were reasonable about it, but all in an offensive
+and ungovernable state.  There was little of that sort
+of customary thing where the tenor and the soprano stand
+down by the footlights, warbling, with blended voices,
+and keep holding out their arms toward each other and drawing
+them back and spreading both hands over first one breast
+and then the other with a shake and a pressure--no,
+it was every rioter for himself and no blending.
+Each sang his indictive narrative in turn, accompanied by
+the whole orchestra of sixty instruments, and when this had
+continued for some time, and one was hoping they might come
+to an understanding and modify the noise, a great chorus
+composed entirely of maniacs would suddenly break forth,
+and then during two minutes, and sometimes three, I lived
+over again all that I suffered the time the orphan asylum burned
+down.
+
+We only had one brief little season of heaven and heaven's
+sweet ecstasy and peace during all this long and diligent
+and acrimonious reproduction of the other place.
+This was while a gorgeous procession of people marched around
+and around, in the third act, and sang the Wedding Chorus.
+To my untutored ear that was music--almost divine music.
+While my seared soul was steeped in the healing balm
+of those gracious sounds, it seemed to me that I could
+almost resuffer the torments which had gone before,
+in order to be so healed again.  There is where the deep
+ingenuity of the operatic idea is betrayed.  It deals so
+largely in pain that its scattered delights are prodigiously
+augmented by the contrasts.  A pretty air in an opera is
+prettier there than it could be anywhere else, I suppose,
+just as an honest man in politics shines more than he
+would elsewhere.
+
+I have since found out that there is nothing the Germans
+like so much as an opera.  They like it, not in a mild
+and moderate way, but with their whole hearts.
+This is a legitimate result of habit and education.
+Our nation will like the opera, too, by and by, no doubt.
+One in fifty of those who attend our operas likes
+it already, perhaps, but I think a good many of the other
+forty-nine go in order to learn to like it, and the
+rest in order to be able to talk knowingly about it.
+The latter usually hum the airs while they are being sung,
+so that their neighbors may perceive that they have been
+to operas before.  The funerals of these do not occur
+often enough.
+
+A gentle, old-maidish person and a sweet young girl
+of seventeen sat right in front of us that night at the
+Mannheim opera.  These people talked, between the acts,
+and I understood them, though I understood nothing
+that was uttered on the distant stage.  At first they
+were guarded in their talk, but after they had heard
+my agent and me conversing in English they dropped their
+reserve and I picked up many of their little confidences;
+no, I mean many of HER little confidences--meaning
+the elder party--for the young girl only listened,
+and gave assenting nods, but never said a word.  How pretty
+she was, and how sweet she was! I wished she would speak.
+But evidently she was absorbed in her own thoughts,
+her own young-girl dreams, and found a dearer pleasure
+in silence.  But she was not dreaming sleepy dreams--no,
+she was awake, alive, alert, she could not sit still
+a moment.  She was an enchanting study.  Her gown was
+of a soft white silky stuff that clung to her round
+young figure like a fish's skin, and it was rippled
+over with the gracefulest little fringy films of lace;
+she had deep, tender eyes, with long, curved lashes;
+and she had peachy cheeks, and a dimpled chin, and such
+a dear little rosebud of a mouth; and she was so dovelike,
+so pure, and so gracious, so sweet and so bewitching.
+For long hours I did mightily wish she would speak.
+And at last she did; the red lips parted, and out leaps her
+thought--and with such a guileless and pretty enthusiasm,
+too: "Auntie, I just KNOW I've got five hundred fleas
+on me!"
+
+That was probably over the average.  Yes, it must have been
+very much over the average.  The average at that time
+in the Grand Duchy of Baden was forty-five to a young
+person (when alone), according to the official estimate
+of the home secretary for that year; the average for older
+people was shifty and indeterminable, for whenever a
+wholesome young girl came into the presence of her elders
+she immediately lowered their average and raised her own.
+She became a sort of contribution-box. This dear young
+thing in the theater had been sitting there unconsciously
+taking up a collection.  Many a skinny old being in our
+neighborhood was the happier and the restfuler for her coming.
+
+In that large audience, that night, there were eight very
+conspicuous people.  These were ladies who had their hats
+or bonnets on.  What a blessed thing it would be if a lady
+could make herself conspicuous in our theaters by wearing
+her hat.  It is not usual in Europe to allow ladies
+and gentlemen to take bonnets, hats, overcoats, canes,
+or umbrellas into the auditorium, but in Mannheim this
+rule was not enforced because the audiences were largely
+made up of people from a distance, and among these were
+always a few timid ladies who were afraid that if they had
+to go into an anteroom to get their things when the play
+was over, they would miss their train.  But the great mass
+of those who came from a distance always ran the risk
+and took the chances, preferring the loss of a train
+to a breach of good manners and the discomfort of being
+unpleasantly conspicuous during a stretch of three or four hours.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X
+[How Wagner Operas Bang Along]
+
+Three or four hours.  That is a long time to sit in one place,
+whether one be conspicuous or not, yet some of Wagner's
+operas bang along for six whole hours on a stretch!
+But the people sit there and enjoy it all, and wish it
+would last longer.  A German lady in Munich told me
+that a person could not like Wagner's music at first,
+but must go through the deliberate process of learning
+to like it--then he would have his sure reward;
+for when he had learned to like it he would hunger
+for it and never be able to get enough of it.  She said
+that six hours of Wagner was by no means too much.
+She said that this composer had made a complete revolution
+in music and was burying the old masters one by one.
+And she said that Wagner's operas differed from all others
+in one notable respect, and that was that they were not
+merely spotted with music here and there, but were ALL music,
+from the first strain to the last.  This surprised me.
+I said I had attended one of his insurrections, and found
+hardly ANY music in it except the Wedding Chorus.
+She said "Lohengrin" was noisier than Wagner's other operas,
+but that if I would keep on going to see it I would find
+by and by that it was all music, and therefore would
+then enjoy it.  I COULD have said, "But would you advise
+a person to deliberately practice having a toothache
+in the pit of his stomach for a couple of years in order
+that he might then come to enjoy it?" But I reserved
+that remark.
+
+This lady was full of the praises of the head-tenor
+who had performed in a Wagner opera the night before,
+and went on to enlarge upon his old and prodigious fame,
+and how many honors had been lavished upon him by the
+princely houses of Germany.  Here was another surprise.
+I had attended that very opera, in the person of my agent,
+and had made close and accurate observations.  So I
+said:
+
+"Why, madam, MY experience warrants me in stating
+that that tenor's voice is not a voice at all,
+but only a shriek--the shriek of a hyena."
+
+"That is very true," she said; "he cannot sing now;
+it is already many years that he has lost his voice,
+but in other times he sang, yes, divinely! So whenever
+he comes now, you shall see, yes, that the theater
+will not hold the people.  JAWOHL BEI GOTT! his voice
+is WUNDERSCHOEN in that past time."
+
+I said she was discovering to me a kindly trait in the
+Germans which was worth emulating.  I said that over
+the water we were not quite so generous; that with us,
+when a singer had lost his voice and a jumper had lost
+his legs, these parties ceased to draw.  I said I had been
+to the opera in Hanover, once, and in Mannheim once,
+and in Munich (through my authorized agent) once, and this
+large experience had nearly persuaded me that the Germans
+PREFERRED singers who couldn't sing.  This was not such
+a very extravagant speech, either, for that burly Mannheim
+tenor's praises had been the talk of all Heidelberg for
+a week before his performance took place--yet his voice
+was like the distressing noise which a nail makes when you
+screech it across a window-pane. I said so to Heidelberg
+friends the next day, and they said, in the calmest and
+simplest way, that that was very true, but that in earlier
+times his voice HAD been wonderfully fine.  And the tenor
+in Hanover was just another example of this sort.
+The English-speaking German gentleman who went with me
+to the opera there was brimming with enthusiasm over that tenor.
+He said:
+
+"ACH GOTT! a great man! You shall see him.  He is so celebrate
+in all Germany--and he has a pension, yes, from the government.
+He not obliged to sing now, only twice every year;
+but if he not sing twice each year they take him his pension
+away."
+
+Very well, we went.  When the renowned old tenor appeared,
+I got a nudge and an excited whisper:
+
+"Now you see him!"
+
+But the "celebrate" was an astonishing disappointment to me.
+If he had been behind a screen I should have supposed
+they were performing a surgical operation on him.
+I looked at my friend--to my great surprise he seemed
+intoxicated with pleasure, his eyes were dancing
+with eager delight.  When the curtain at last fell,
+he burst into the stormiest applause, and kept it up--as
+did the whole house--until the afflictive tenor had
+come three times before the curtain to make his bow.
+While the glowing enthusiast was swabbing the perspiration
+from his face, I said:
+
+"I don't mean the least harm, but really, now, do you
+think he can sing?"
+
+"Him? NO! GOTT IM HIMMEL, ABER, how he has been able to
+sing twenty-five years ago?" [Then pensively.] "ACH, no,
+NOW he not sing any more, he only cry.  When he think
+he sing, now, he not sing at all, no, he only make
+like a cat which is unwell."
+
+Where and how did we get the idea that the Germans
+are a stolid, phlegmatic race? In truth, they are
+widely removed from that.  They are warm-hearted,
+emotional, impulsive, enthusiastic, their tears come
+at the mildest touch, and it is not hard to move them
+to laughter.  They are the very children of impulse.
+We are cold and self-contained, compared to the Germans.
+They hug and kiss and cry and shout and dance and sing;
+and where we use one loving, petting expressions they pour
+out a score.  Their language is full of endearing diminutives;
+nothing that they love escapes the application of a petting
+diminutive--neither the house, nor the dog, nor the horse,
+nor the grandmother, nor any other creature, animate or
+inanimate.
+
+In the theaters at Hanover, Hamburg, and Mannheim,
+they had a wise custom.  The moment the curtain went up,
+the light in the body of the house went down.
+The audience sat in the cool gloom of a deep twilight,
+which greatly enhanced the glowing splendors of the stage.
+It saved gas, too, and people were not sweated to death.
+
+When I saw "King Lear" played, nobody was allowed to see
+a scene shifted; if there was nothing to be done but slide
+a forest out of the way and expose a temple beyond, one did
+not see that forest split itself in the middle and go
+shrieking away, with the accompanying disenchanting spectacle
+of the hands and heels of the impelling impulse--no,
+the curtain was always dropped for an instant--one heard
+not the least movement behind it--but when it went up,
+the next instant, the forest was gone.  Even when the
+stage was being entirely reset, one heard no noise.
+During the whole time that "King Lear" was playing
+the curtain was never down two minutes at any one time.
+The orchestra played until the curtain was ready to go up
+for the first time, then they departed for the evening.
+Where the stage waits never each two minutes there is no
+occasion for music.  I had never seen this two-minute
+business between acts but once before, and that was when
+the "Shaughraun" was played at Wallack's.
+
+I was at a concert in Munich one night, the people
+were streaming in, the clock-hand pointed to seven,
+the music struck up, and instantly all movement in
+the body of the house ceased--nobody was standing,
+or walking up the aisles, or fumbling with a seat,
+the stream of incomers had suddenly dried up at its source.
+I listened undisturbed to a piece of music that was fifteen
+minutes long--always expecting some tardy ticket-holders
+to come crowding past my knees, and being continuously and
+pleasantly disappointed--but when the last note was struck,
+here came the stream again.  You see, they had made
+those late comers wait in the comfortable waiting-parlor
+from the time the music had begin until it was ended.
+
+It was the first time I had ever seen this sort of
+criminals denied the privilege of destroying the comfort
+of a house full of their betters.  Some of these were
+pretty fine birds, but no matter, they had to tarry
+outside in the long parlor under the inspection of
+a double rank of liveried footmen and waiting-maids
+who supported the two walls with their backs and held
+the wraps and traps of their masters and mistresses on their
+arms.
+
+We had no footmen to hold our things, and it was not
+permissible to take them into the concert-room; but there
+were some men and women to take charge of them for us.
+They gave us checks for them and charged a fixed price,
+payable in advance--five cents.
+
+In Germany they always hear one thing at an opera
+which has never yet been heard in America, perhaps--I
+mean the closing strain of a fine solo or duet.
+We always smash into it with an earthquake of applause.
+The result is that we rob ourselves of the sweetest
+part of the treat; we get the whiskey, but we don't get
+the sugar in the bottom of the glass.
+
+Our way of scattering applause along through an act seems
+to me to be better than the Mannheim way of saving it
+all up till the act is ended.  I do not see how an actor
+can forget himself and portray hot passion before a cold
+still audience.  I should think he would feel foolish.
+It is a pain to me to this day, to remember how that old
+German Lear raged and wept and howled around the stage,
+with never a response from that hushed house, never a
+single outburst till the act was ended.  To me there was
+something unspeakably uncomfortable in the solemn dead
+silences that always followed this old person's tremendous
+outpourings of his feelings.  I could not help putting
+myself in his place--I thought I knew how sick and flat
+he felt during those silences, because I remembered a case
+which came under my observation once, and which--but I
+will tell the incident:
+
+One evening on board a Mississippi steamboat, a boy of ten
+years lay asleep in a berth--a long, slim-legged boy,
+he was, encased in quite a short shirt; it was the first
+time he had ever made a trip on a steamboat, and so he
+was troubled, and scared, and had gone to bed with his
+head filled with impending snaggings, and explosions,
+and conflagrations, and sudden death.  About ten o'clock
+some twenty ladies were sitting around about the ladies'
+saloon, quietly reading, sewing, embroidering, and so on,
+and among them sat a sweet, benignant old dame with round
+spectacles on her nose and her busy knitting-needles
+in her hands.  Now all of a sudden, into the midst of this
+peaceful scene burst that slim-shanked boy in the brief shirt,
+wild-eyed, erect-haired, and shouting, "Fire, fire!
+JUMP AND RUN, THE BOAT'S AFIRE AND THERE AIN'T A MINUTE
+TO LOSE!" All those ladies looked sweetly up and smiled,
+nobody stirred, the old lady pulled her spectacles down,
+looked over them, and said, gently:
+
+"But you mustn't catch cold, child.  Run and put on
+your breastpin, and then come and tell us all about it."
+
+It was a cruel chill to give to a poor little devil's
+gushing vehemence.  He was expecting to be a sort of
+hero--the creator of a wild panic--and here everybody
+sat and smiled a mocking smile, and an old woman made
+fun of his bugbear.  I turned and crept away--for I
+was that boy--and never even cared to discover whether
+I had dreamed the fire or actually seen it.
+
+I am told that in a German concert or opera, they hardly
+ever encore a song; that though they may be dying to hear
+it again, their good breeding usually preserves them
+against requiring the repetition.
+
+Kings may encore; that is quite another matter;
+it delights everybody to see that the King is pleased;
+and as to the actor encored, his pride and gratification
+are simply boundless.  Still, there are circumstances
+in which even a royal encore--
+
+But it is better to illustrate.  The King of Bavaria is
+a poet, and has a poet's eccentricities--with the advantage
+over all other poets of being able to gratify them,
+no matter what form they may take.  He is fond of opera,
+but not fond of sitting in the presence of an audience;
+therefore, it has sometimes occurred, in Munich,
+that when an opera has been concluded and the players
+were getting off their paint and finery, a command has
+come to them to get their paint and finery on again.
+Presently the King would arrive, solitary and alone,
+and the players would begin at the beginning and do the
+entire opera over again with only that one individual
+in the vast solemn theater for audience.  Once he took
+an odd freak into his head.  High up and out of sight,
+over the prodigious stage of the court theater is a maze
+of interlacing water-pipes, so pierced that in case
+of fire, innumerable little thread-like streams of
+water can be caused to descend; and in case of need,
+this discharge can be augmented to a pouring flood.
+American managers might want to make a note of that.
+The King was sole audience.  The opera proceeded,
+it was a piece with a storm in it; the mimic thunder
+began to mutter, the mimic wind began to wail and sough,
+and the mimic rain to patter.  The King's interest rose
+higher and higher; it developed into enthusiasm.  He cried
+out:
+
+"It is very, very good, indeed! But I will have real
+rain! Turn on the water!"
+
+The manager pleaded for a reversal of the command; said it
+would ruin the costly scenery and the splendid costumes,
+but the King cried:
+
+"No matter, no matter, I will have real rain! Turn
+on the water!"
+
+So the real rain was turned on and began to descend in
+gossamer lances to the mimic flower-beds and gravel walks
+of the stage.  The richly dressed actresses and actors
+tripped about singing bravely and pretending not to mind it.
+The King was delighted--his enthusiasm grew higher.
+He cried out:
+
+"Bravo, bravo! More thunder! more lightning! turn
+on more rain!"
+
+The thunder boomed, the lightning glared, the storm-winds raged,
+the deluge poured down.  The mimic royalty on the stage,
+with their soaked satins clinging to their bodies,
+slopped about ankle-deep in water, warbling their sweetest
+and best, the fiddlers under the eaves of the state sawed
+away for dear life, with the cold overflow spouting down
+the backs of their necks, and the dry and happy King sat
+in his lofty box and wore his gloves to ribbons applauding.
+
+"More yet!" cried the King; "more yet--let loose all
+the thunder, turn on all the water! I will hang the man
+that raises an umbrella!"
+
+When this most tremendous and effective storm that had
+ever been produced in any theater was at last over,
+the King's approbation was measureless.  He cried:
+
+"Magnificent, magnificent! ENCORE! Do it again!"
+
+But the manager succeeded in persuading him to recall
+the encore, and said the company would feel sufficiently
+rewarded and complimented in the mere fact that the
+encore was desired by his Majesty, without fatiguing
+him with a repetition to gratify their own vanity.
+
+During the remainder of the act the lucky performers
+were those whose parts required changes of dress;
+the others were a soaked, bedraggled, and uncomfortable lot,
+but in the last degree picturesque.  The stage scenery
+was ruined, trap-doors were so swollen that they wouldn't
+work for a week afterward, the fine costumes were spoiled,
+and no end of minor damages were done by that remarkable storm.
+
+It was royal idea--that storm--and royally carried out.
+But observe the moderation of the King; he did not
+insist upon his encore.  If he had been a gladsome,
+unreflecting American opera-audience, he probably would
+have had his storm repeated and repeated until he drowned
+all those people.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XI
+[I Paint a "Turner"]
+
+The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg.
+We had a skilled trainer, and under his instructions we
+were getting our legs in the right condition for the
+contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well satisfied
+with the progress which we had made in the German language,
+[1. See Appendix D for information concerning this
+fearful tongue.] and more than satisfied with what we had
+accomplished in art.  We had had the best instructors in
+drawing and painting in Germany--Haemmerling, Vogel, Mueller,
+Dietz, and Schumann.  Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
+Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do
+still-life, and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing
+course in two specialties--battle-pieces and shipwrecks.
+Whatever I am in Art I owe to these men.  I have something
+of the manner of each and all of them; but they all said that I
+had also a manner of my own, and that it was conspicuous.
+They said there was a marked individuality about my
+style--insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest
+type of a dog, I should be sure to throw a something
+into the aspect of that dog which would keep him from
+being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
+Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings,
+but I could not; I was afraid that my masters'
+partiality for me, and pride in me, biased their judgment.
+So I resolved to make a test.  Privately, and unknown
+to any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle
+Illuminated"--my first really important work in oils--and
+had it hung up in the midst of a wilderness of oil-pictures
+in the Art Exhibition, with no name attached to it.  To my
+great gratification it was instantly recognized as mine.
+All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
+neighboring localities to visit it.  It made more stir than
+any other work in the Exhibition.  But the most gratifying
+thing of all was, that chance strangers, passing through,
+who had not heard of my picture, were not only drawn to it,
+as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the gallery,
+but always took it for a "Turner."
+
+Apparently nobody had ever done that.  There were ruined
+castles on the overhanging cliffs and crags all the way;
+these were said to have their legends, like those on the Rhine,
+and what was better still, they had never been in print.
+There was nothing in the books about that lovely region;
+it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for
+the literary pioneer.
+
+Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
+walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought
+to us.  A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us.
+We went around one evening and bade good-by to our friends,
+and afterward had a little farewell banquet at the hotel.
+We got to bed early, for we wanted to make an early start,
+so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
+
+We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh
+and vigorous, and took a hearty breakfast, then plunged
+down through the leafy arcades of the Castle grounds,
+toward the town.  What a glorious summer morning it was,
+and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance,
+and how the birds did sing! It was just the time for a
+tramp through the woods and mountains.
+
+We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the
+sun off; gray knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls;
+leathern gaiters buttoned tight from knee down to ankle;
+high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced.  Each man had
+an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung
+over his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand
+and a sun-umbrella in the other.  Around our hats were
+wound many folds of soft white muslin, with the ends
+hanging and flapping down our backs--an idea brought
+from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe.
+Harris carried the little watch-like machine called
+a "pedometer," whose office is to keep count of a man's
+steps and tell how far he has walked.  Everybody stopped
+to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant march
+to you!"
+
+When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to
+within five miles of Heilbronn.  The train was just starting,
+so we jumped aboard and went tearing away in splendid spirits.
+It was agreed all around that we had done wisely,
+because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the Neckar
+as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways.
+There were some nice German people in our compartment.
+I got to talking some pretty private matters presently,
+and Harris became nervous; so he nudged me and said:
+
+"Speak in German--these Germans may understand English."
+
+I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there
+was not a German in that party who did not understand
+English perfectly.  It is curious how widespread our language
+is in Germany.  After a while some of those folks got out
+and a German gentleman and his two young daughters got in.
+I spoke in German of one of the latter several times,
+but without result.  Finally she said:
+
+"ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"--or words to
+that effect.  That is, "I don't understand any language
+but German and English."
+
+And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister
+spoke English.  So after that we had all the talk we wanted;
+and we wanted a good deal, for they were agreeable people.
+They were greatly interested in our customs; especially
+the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
+They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we
+must be going to Switzerland or some other rugged country;
+and asked us if we did not find the walking pretty fatiguing
+in such warm weather.  But we said no.
+
+We reached Wimpfen--I think it was Wimpfen--in about
+three hours, and got out, not the least tired; found a
+good hotel and ordered beer and dinner--then took
+a stroll through the venerable old village.  It was very
+picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting.
+It had queer houses five hundred years old in it,
+and a military tower 115 feet high, which had stood there
+more than ten centuries.  I made a little sketch of it.
+I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
+I think the original was better than the copy, because it
+had more windows in it and the grass stood up better and had
+a brisker look.  There was none around the tower, though;
+I composed the grass myself, from studies I made in a field
+by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time.  The man on top,
+looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
+he could not be made smaller, conveniently.  I wanted
+him there, and I wanted him visible, so I thought out a
+way to manage it; I composed the picture from two points
+of view; the spectator is to observe the man from bout
+where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself
+from the ground.  This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy.
+[Figure 2]
+
+Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses
+of stone--moldy and damaged things, bearing life-size
+stone figures.  The two thieves were dressed in the fanciful
+court costumes of the middle of the sixteenth century,
+while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a cloth
+around the loins.
+
+We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging
+to the hotel and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke,
+we went to bed.  We had a refreshing nap, then got up
+about three in the afternoon and put on our panoply.
+As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town,
+we overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and
+ends of cabbages and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn
+by a small cow and a smaller donkey yoked together.
+It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into Heilbronn
+before dark--five miles, or possibly it was seven.
+
+We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old
+robber-knight and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen,
+abode in after he got out of captivity in the Square Tower
+of Heilbronn between three hundred and fifty and four hundred
+years ago.  Harris and I occupied the same room which he
+had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off
+the walls yet.  The furniture was quaint old carved stuff,
+full four hundred years old, and some of the smells
+were over a thousand.  There was a hook in the wall,
+which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to
+hang his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed.
+This room was very large--it might be called immense
+--and it was on the first floor; which means it was in
+the second story, for in Europe the houses are so high
+that they do not count the first story, else they
+would get tired climbing before they got to the top.
+The wallpaper was a fiery red, with huge gold figures in it,
+well smirched by time, and it covered all the doors.
+These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures
+of the paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed
+one had to go feeling and searching along the wall
+to find them.  There was a stove in the corner--one
+of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things
+that looks like a monument and keeps you thinking
+of death when you ought to be enjoying your travels.
+The windows looked out on a little alley, and over that
+into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear
+of some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds
+in the room, one in one end, the other in the other,
+about an old-fashioned brass-mounted, single-barreled
+pistol-shot apart.  They were fully as narrow as the usual
+German bed, too, and had the German bed's ineradicable
+habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time
+you forgot yourself and went to sleep.
+
+A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the
+center of the room; while the waiters were getting
+ready to serve our dinner on it we all went out to see
+the renowned clock on the front of the municipal buildings.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XII
+[What the Wives Saved]
+
+The RATHHAUS, or municipal building, is of the quaintest
+and most picturesque Middle-Age architecture.  It has a
+massive portico and steps, before it, heavily balustraded,
+and adorned with life-sized rusty iron knights in
+complete armor.  The clock-face on the front of the building
+is very large and of curious pattern.  Ordinarily, a gilded
+angel strikes the hour on a big bell with a hammer;
+as the striking ceases, a life-sized figure of Time raises
+its hour-glass and turns it; two golden rams advance
+and butt each other; a gilded cock lifts its wings;
+but the main features are two great angels, who stand
+on each side of the dial with long horns at their lips;
+it was said that they blew melodious blasts on these
+horns every hour--but they did not do it for us.
+We were told, later, than they blew only at night,
+when the town was still.
+
+Within the RATHHAUS were a number of huge wild boars'
+heads, preserved, and mounted on brackets along the wall;
+they bore inscriptions telling who killed them and how many
+hundred years ago it was done.  One room in the building
+was devoted to the preservation of ancient archives.
+There they showed us no end of aged documents; some were
+signed by Popes, some by Tilly and other great generals,
+and one was a letter written and subscribed by Goetz von
+Berlichingen in Heilbronn in 1519 just after his release
+from the Square Tower.
+
+This fine old robber-knight was a devoutly and sincerely
+religious man, hospitable, charitable to the poor,
+fearless in fight, active, enterprising, and possessed
+of a large and generous nature.  He had in him a
+quality of being able to overlook moderate injuries,
+and being able to forgive and forget mortal ones as
+soon as he had soundly trounced the authors of them.
+He was prompt to take up any poor devil's quarrel and risk
+his neck to right him.  The common folk held him dear,
+and his memory is still green in ballad and tradition.
+He used to go on the highway and rob rich wayfarers;
+and other times he would swoop down from his high castle
+on the hills of the Neckar and capture passing cargoes
+of merchandise.  In his memoirs he piously thanks the
+Giver of all Good for remembering him in his needs and
+delivering sundry such cargoes into his hands at times
+when only special providences could have relieved him.
+He was a doughty warrior and found a deep joy in battle.
+In an assault upon a stronghold in Bavaria when he was
+only twenty-three years old, his right hand was shot away,
+but he was so interested in the fight that he did not
+observe it for a while.  He said that the iron hand
+which was made for him afterward, and which he wore for
+more than half a century, was nearly as clever a member
+as the fleshy one had been.  I was glad to get a facsimile
+of the letter written by this fine old German Robin Hood,
+though I was not able to read it.  He was a better artist
+with his sword than with his pen.
+
+We went down by the river and saw the Square Tower.
+It was a very venerable structure, very strong,
+and very ornamental.  There was no opening near the ground.
+They had to use a ladder to get into it, no doubt.
+
+We visited the principal church, also--a curious
+old structure, with a towerlike spire adorned with all
+sorts of grotesque images.  The inner walls of the church
+were placarded with large mural tablets of copper,
+bearing engraved inscriptions celebrating the merits
+of old Heilbronn worthies of two or three centuries ago,
+and also bearing rudely painted effigies of themselves
+and their families tricked out in the queer costumes of
+those days.  The head of the family sat in the foreground,
+and beyond him extended a sharply receding and diminishing
+row of sons; facing him sat his wife, and beyond
+her extended a low row of diminishing daughters.
+The family was usually large, but the perspective bad.
+
+Then we hired the hack and the horse which Goetz von
+Berlichingen used to use, and drove several miles into
+the country to visit the place called WEIBERTREU--Wife's
+Fidelity I suppose it means.  It was a feudal castle
+of the Middle Ages.  When we reached its neighborhood we
+found it was beautifully situated, but on top of a mound,
+or hill, round and tolerably steep, and about two hundred
+feet high.  Therefore, as the sun was blazing hot,
+we did not climb up there, but took the place on trust,
+and observed it from a distance while the horse leaned up
+against a fence and rested.  The place has no interest
+except that which is lent it by its legend, which is
+a very pretty one--to this effect:
+
+THE LEGEND
+
+In the Middle Ages, a couple of young dukes, brothers,
+took opposite sides in one of the wars, the one fighting
+for the Emperor, the other against him.  One of them
+owned the castle and village on top of the mound which I
+have been speaking of, and in his absence his brother
+came with his knights and soldiers and began a siege.
+It was a long and tedious business, for the people
+made a stubborn and faithful defense.  But at last
+their supplies ran out and starvation began its work;
+more fell by hunger than by the missiles of the enemy.
+They by and by surrendered, and begged for charitable terms.
+But the beleaguering prince was so incensed against them
+for their long resistance that he said he would spare none
+but the women and children--all men should be put to the
+sword without exception, and all their goods destroyed.
+Then the women came and fell on their knees and begged for
+the lives of their husbands.
+
+"No," said the prince, "not a man of them shall escape alive;
+you yourselves shall go with your children into houseless
+and friendless banishment; but that you may not starve
+I grant you this one grace, that each woman may bear
+with her from this place as much of her most valuable
+property as she is able to carry."
+
+Very well, presently the gates swung open and out filed
+those women carrying their HUSBANDS on their shoulders.
+The besiegers, furious at the trick, rushed forward
+to slaughter the men, but the Duke stepped between and
+said:
+
+"No, put up your swords--a prince's word is inviolable."
+
+When we got back to the hotel, King Arthur's Round Table
+was ready for us in its white drapery, and the head waiter
+and his first assistant, in swallow-tails and white cravats,
+brought in the soup and the hot plates at once.
+
+Mr. X had ordered the dinner, and when the wine came on,
+he picked up a bottle, glanced at the label, and then turned
+to the grave, the melancholy, the sepulchral head waiter
+and said it was not the sort of wine he had asked for.
+The head waiter picked up the bottle, cast his undertaker-eye
+on it and said:
+
+"It is true; I beg pardon." Then he turned on his
+subordinate and calmly said, "Bring another label."
+
+At the same time he slid the present label off with his hand
+and laid it aside; it had been newly put on, its paste
+was still wet.  When the new label came, he put it on;
+our French wine being now turned into German wine,
+according to desire, the head waiter went blandly about his
+other duties, as if the working of this sort of miracle
+was a common and easy thing to him.
+
+Mr. X said he had not known, before, that there were
+people honest enough to do this miracle in public,
+but he was aware that thousands upon thousands of labels
+were imported into America from Europe every year,
+to enable dealers to furnish to their customers in a quiet
+and inexpensive way all the different kinds of foreign
+wines they might require.
+
+We took a turn around the town, after dinner, and found
+it fully as interesting in the moonlight as it had been
+in the daytime.  The streets were narrow and roughly paved,
+and there was not a sidewalk or a street-lamp anywhere.
+The dwellings were centuries old, and vast enough for hotels.
+They widened all the way up; the stories projected
+further and further forward and aside as they ascended,
+and the long rows of lighted windows, filled with little bits
+of panes, curtained with figured white muslin and adorned
+outside with boxes of flowers, made a pretty effect.
+The moon was bright, and the light and shadow very strong;
+and nothing could be more picturesque than those curving
+streets, with their rows of huge high gables leaning
+far over toward each other in a friendly gossiping way,
+and the crowds below drifting through the alternating blots
+of gloom and mellow bars of moonlight.  Nearly everybody
+was abroad, chatting, singing, romping, or massed in lazy
+comfortable attitudes in the doorways.
+
+In one place there was a public building which was
+fenced about with a thick, rusty chain, which sagged
+from post to post in a succession of low swings.
+The pavement, here, was made of heavy blocks of stone.
+In the glare of the moon a party of barefooted children
+were swinging on those chains and having a noisy good time.
+They were not the first ones who have done that;
+even their great-great-grandfathers had not been the first
+to do it when they were children.  The strokes of the bare
+feet had worn grooves inches deep in the stone flags;
+it had taken many generations of swinging children to
+accomplish that.  Everywhere in the town were the mold
+and decay that go with antiquity, and evidence of it;
+but I do not know that anything else gave us so vivid
+a sense of the old age of Heilbronn as those footworn
+grooves in the paving-stones.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII
+[My Long Crawl in the Dark]
+
+When we got back to the hotel I wound and set the
+pedometer and put it in my pocket, for I was to carry
+it next day and keep record of the miles we made.
+The work which we had given the instrument to do during
+the day which had just closed had not fatigued it perceptibly.
+
+We were in bed by ten, for we wanted to be up and away on
+our tramp homeward with the dawn.  I hung fire, but Harris
+went to sleep at once.  I hate a man who goes to sleep
+at once; there is a sort of indefinable something about it
+which is not exactly an insult, and yet is an insolence;
+and one which is hard to bear, too.  I lay there fretting
+over this injury, and trying to go to sleep; but the harder
+I tried, the wider awake I grew.  I got to feeling very lonely
+in the dark, with no company but an undigested dinner.
+My mind got a start by and by, and began to consider the
+beginning of every subject which has ever been thought of;
+but it never went further than the beginning; it was touch
+and go; it fled from topic to topic with a frantic speed.
+At the end of an hour my head was in a perfect whirl and I
+was dead tired, fagged out.
+
+The fatigue was so great that it presently began to make some
+head against the nervous excitement; while imagining myself
+wide awake, I would really doze into momentary unconsciousness,
+and come suddenly out of it with a physical jerk which nearly
+wrenched my joints apart--the delusion of the instant
+being that I was tumbling backward over a precipice.
+After I had fallen over eight or nine precipices and thus
+found out that one half of my brain had been asleep eight
+or nine times without the wide-awake, hard-working other
+half suspecting it, the periodical unconsciousnesses
+began to extend their spell gradually over more of my
+brain-territory, and at last I sank into a drowse which
+grew deeper and deeper and was doubtless just on the very
+point of being a solid, blessed dreamless stupor, when--what was
+that?
+
+My dulled faculties dragged themselves partly back to life
+and took a receptive attitude.  Now out of an immense,
+a limitless distance, came a something which grew and grew,
+and approached, and presently was recognizable as a sound
+--it had rather seemed to be a feeling, before.  This sound
+was a mile away, now--perhaps it was the murmur of a storm;
+and now it was nearer--not a quarter of a mile away;
+was it the muffled rasping and grinding of distant
+machinery? No, it came still nearer; was it the measured
+tramp of a marching troop? But it came nearer still,
+and still nearer--and at last it was right in the room: it
+was merely a mouse gnawing the woodwork.  So I had held my
+breath all that time for such a trifle.
+
+Well, what was done could not be helped; I would go
+to sleep at once and make up the lost time.  That was
+a thoughtless thought.  Without intending it--hardly
+knowing it--I fell to listening intently to that sound,
+and even unconsciously counting the strokes of the mouse's
+nutmeg-grater. Presently I was deriving exquisite suffering
+from this employment, yet maybe I could have endured
+it if the mouse had attended steadily to his work;
+but he did not do that; he stopped every now and then,
+and I suffered more while waiting and listening for
+him to begin again than I did while he was gnawing.
+Along at first I was mentally offering a reward
+of five--six--seven--ten--dollars for that mouse;
+but toward the last I was offering rewards which were
+entirely beyond my means.  I close-reefed my ears
+--that is to say, I bent the flaps of them down and furled
+them into five or six folds, and pressed them against
+the hearing-orifice--but it did no good: the faculty
+was so sharpened by nervous excitement that it was become
+a microphone and could hear through the overlays without trouble.
+
+
+My anger grew to a frenzy.  I finally did what all persons
+before me have done, clear back to Adam,--resolved to
+throw something.  I reached down and got my walking-shoes,
+then sat up in bed and listened, in order to exactly locate
+the noise.  But I couldn't do it; it was as unlocatable
+as a cricket's noise; and where one thinks that that is,
+is always the very place where it isn't. So I presently
+hurled a shoe at random, and with a vicious vigor.
+It struck the wall over Harris's head and fell down on him;
+I had not imagined I could throw so far.  It woke Harris,
+and I was glad of it until I found he was not angry;
+then I was sorry.  He soon went to sleep again,
+which pleased me; but straightway the mouse began again,
+which roused my temper once more.  I did not want to wake
+Harris a second time, but the gnawing continued until I
+was compelled to throw the other shoe.  This time I broke
+a mirror--there were two in the room--I got the largest one,
+of course.  Harris woke again, but did not complain,
+and I was sorrier than ever.  I resolved that I would
+suffer all possible torture before I would disturb him a
+third time.
+
+The mouse eventually retired, and by and by I was sinking
+to sleep, when a clock began to strike; I counted till
+it was done, and was about to drowse again when another
+clock began; I counted; then the two great RATHHAUS clock
+angels began to send forth soft, rich, melodious blasts
+from their long trumpets.  I had never heard anything
+that was so lovely, or weird, or mysterious--but when they
+got to blowing the quarter-hours, they seemed to me to be
+overdoing the thing.  Every time I dropped off for the moment,
+a new noise woke me.  Each time I woke I missed my coverlet,
+and had to reach down to the floor and get it again.
+
+At last all sleepiness forsook me.  I recognized the fact
+that I was hopelessly and permanently wide awake.
+Wide awake, and feverish and thirsty.  When I had lain
+tossing there as long as I could endure it, it occurred
+to me that it would be a good idea to dress and go out in
+the great square and take a refreshing wash in the fountain,
+and smoke and reflect there until the remnant of the night
+was gone.
+
+I believed I could dress in the dark without waking Harris.
+I had banished my shoes after the mouse, but my slippers
+would do for a summer night.  So I rose softly, and gradually
+got on everything--down to one sock.  I couldn't seem
+to get on the track of that sock, any way I could fix it.
+But I had to have it; so I went down on my hands and knees,
+with one slipper on and the other in my hand, and began to
+paw gently around and rake the floor, but with no success.
+I enlarged my circle, and went on pawing and raking.
+With every pressure of my knee, how the floor creaked!
+and every time I chanced to rake against any article,
+it seemed to give out thirty-five or thirty-six times
+more noise than it would have done in the daytime.
+In those cases I always stopped and held my breath till I
+was sure Harris had not awakened--then I crept along again.
+I moved on and on, but I could not find the sock;
+I could not seem to find anything but furniture.
+I could not remember that there was much furniture
+in the room when I went to bed, but the place was alive
+with it now --especially chairs--chairs everywhere
+--had a couple of families moved in, in the mean time? And
+I never could seem to GLANCE on one of those chairs,
+but always struck it full and square with my head.
+My temper rose, by steady and sure degrees, and as I
+pawed on and on, I fell to making vicious comments under
+my breath.
+
+Finally, with a venomous access of irritation, I said I
+would leave without the sock; so I rose up and made straight
+for the door--as I supposed--and suddenly confronted my
+dim spectral image in the unbroken mirror.  It startled
+the breath out of me, for an instant; it also showed me
+that I was lost, and had no sort of idea where I was.
+When I realized this, I was so angry that I had to sit
+down on the floor and take hold of something to keep
+from lifting the roof off with an explosion of opinion.
+If there had been only one mirror, it might possibly have
+helped to locate me; but there were two, and two were as
+bad as a thousand; besides, these were on opposite sides
+of the room.  I could see the dim blur of the windows,
+but in my turned-around condition they were exactly
+where they ought not to be, and so they only confused me
+instead of helping me.
+
+I started to get up, and knocked down an umbrella;
+it made a noise like a pistol-shot when it struck
+that hard, slick, carpetless floor; I grated my teeth
+and held my breath--Harris did not stir.  I set the
+umbrella slowly and carefully on end against the wall,
+but as soon as I took my hand away, its heel slipped
+from under it, and down it came again with another bang.
+I shrunk together and listened a moment in silent fury
+--no harm done, everything quiet.  With the most painstaking
+care and nicety, I stood the umbrella up once more,
+took my hand away, and down it came again.
+
+I have been strictly reared, but if it had not been
+so dark and solemn and awful there in that lonely,
+vast room, I do believe I should have said something
+then which could not be put into a Sunday-school book
+without injuring the sale of it.  If my reasoning powers
+had not been already sapped dry by my harassments,
+I would have known better than to try to set an umbrella
+on end on one of those glassy German floors in the dark;
+it can't be done in the daytime without four failures
+to one success.  I had one comfort, though--Harris was
+yet still and silent--he had not stirred.
+
+The umbrella could not locate me--there were four
+standing around the room, and all alike.  I thought I
+would feel along the wall and find the door in that way.
+I rose up and began this operation, but raked down
+a picture.  It was not a large one, but it made noise
+enough for a panorama.  Harris gave out no sound, but I
+felt that if I experimented any further with the pictures
+I should be sure to wake him.  Better give up trying to
+get out.  Yes, I would find King Arthur's Round Table once
+more--I had already found it several times--and use it
+for a base of departure on an exploring tour for my bed;
+if I could find my bed I could then find my water pitcher;
+I would quench my raging thirst and turn in.  So I started
+on my hands and knees, because I could go faster that way,
+and with more confidence, too, and not knock down things.
+By and by I found the table--with my head--rubbed the
+bruise a little, then rose up and started, with hands
+abroad and fingers spread, to balance myself.  I found
+a chair; then a wall; then another chair; then a sofa;
+then an alpenstock, then another sofa; this confounded me,
+for I had thought there was only one sofa.  I hunted
+up the table again and took a fresh start; found some
+more chairs.
+
+It occurred to me, now, as it ought to have done before,
+that as the table was round, it was therefore of no
+value as a base to aim from; so I moved off once more,
+and at random among the wilderness of chairs and sofas
+--wandering off into unfamiliar regions, and presently knocked
+a candlestick and knocked off a lamp, grabbed at the lamp
+and knocked off a water pitcher with a rattling crash,
+and thought to myself, "I've found you at last--I
+judged I was close upon you." Harris shouted "murder,"
+and "thieves," and finished with "I'm absolutely drowned."
+
+The crash had roused the house.  Mr. X pranced in,
+in his long night-garment, with a candle, young Z after him
+with another candle; a procession swept in at another door,
+with candles and lanterns--landlord and two German guests
+in their nightgowns and a chambermaid in hers.
+
+I looked around; I was at Harris's bed, a Sabbath-day's
+journey from my own.  There was only one sofa; it was against
+the wall; there was only one chair where a body could get
+at it--I had been revolving around it like a planet,
+and colliding with it like a comet half the night.
+
+I explained how I had been employing myself, and why.
+Then the landlord's party left, and the rest of us set
+about our preparations for breakfast, for the dawn was
+ready to break.  I glanced furtively at my pedometer,
+and found I had made 47 miles.  But I did not care, for I
+had come out for a pedestrian tour anyway.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV
+[Rafting Down the Neckar]
+
+When the landlord learned that I and my agents were artists,
+our party rose perceptibly in his esteem; we rose still
+higher when he learned that we were making a pedestrian
+tour of Europe.
+
+He told us all about the Heidelberg road, and which
+were the best places to avoid and which the best ones
+to tarry at; he charged me less than cost for the things
+I broke in the night; he put up a fine luncheon for us
+and added to it a quantity of great light-green plums,
+the pleasantest fruit in Germany; he was so anxious to do us
+honor that he would not allow us to walk out of Heilbronn,
+but called up Goetz von Berlichingen's horse and cab
+and made us ride.
+
+I made a sketch of the turnout.  It is not a Work, it is only
+what artists call a "study"--a thing to make a finished
+picture from.  This sketch has several blemishes in it;
+for instance, the wagon is not traveling as fast as the
+horse is.  This is wrong.  Again, the person trying to get
+out of the way is too small; he is out of perspective,
+as we say.  The two upper lines are not the horse's back,
+they are the reigns; there seems to be a wheel missing
+--this would be corrected in a finished Work, of course.
+This thing flying out behind is not a flag, it is a curtain.
+That other thing up there is the sun, but I didn't get
+enough distance on it.  I do not remember, now, what that
+thing is that is in front of the man who is running,
+but I think it is a haystack or a woman.  This study
+was exhibited in the Paris Salon of 1879, but did not
+take any medal; they do not give medals for studies.
+[Figure 3]
+
+We discharged the carriage at the bridge.  The river was
+full of logs--long, slender, barkless pine logs--and we
+leaned on the rails of the bridge, and watched the men put
+them together into rafts.  These rafts were of a shape
+and construction to suit the crookedness and extreme
+narrowness of the Neckar.  They were from fifty to one
+hundred yards long, and they gradually tapered from a
+nine-log breadth at their sterns, to a three-log breadth
+at their bow-ends. The main part of the steering is done
+at the bow, with a pole; the three-log breadth there
+furnishes room for only the steersman, for these little logs
+are not larger around than an average young lady's waist.
+The connections of the several sections of the raft are
+slack and pliant, so that the raft may be readily bent
+into any sort of curve required by the shape of the river.
+
+The Neckar is in many places so narrow that a person
+can throw a dog across it, if he has one; when it is
+also sharply curved in such places, the raftsman has
+to do some pretty nice snug piloting to make the turns.
+The river is not always allowed to spread over its whole
+bed--which is as much as thirty, and sometimes forty yards
+wide--but is split into three equal bodies of water,
+by stone dikes which throw the main volume, depth, and current
+into the central one.  In low water these neat narrow-edged
+dikes project four or five inches above the surface,
+like the comb of a submerged roof, but in high water
+they are overflowed.  A hatful of rain makes high water
+in the Neckar, and a basketful produces an overflow.
+
+There are dikes abreast the Schloss Hotel, and the current
+is violently swift at that point.  I used to sit for hours
+in my glass cage, watching the long, narrow rafts slip
+along through the central channel, grazing the right-bank
+dike and aiming carefully for the middle arch of the stone
+bridge below; I watched them in this way, and lost all this
+time hoping to see one of them hit the bridge-pier and wreck
+itself sometime or other, but was always disappointed.
+One was smashed there one morning, but I had just stepped
+into my room a moment to light a pipe, so I lost it.
+
+While I was looking down upon the rafts that morning
+in Heilbronn, the daredevil spirit of adventure came
+suddenly upon me, and I said to my comrades:
+
+"_I_ am going to Heidelberg on a raft.  Will you venture
+with me?"
+
+Their faces paled a little, but they assented with as
+good a grace as they could.  Harris wanted to cable his
+mother--thought it his duty to do that, as he was all
+she had in this world--so, while he attended to this,
+I went down to the longest and finest raft and hailed
+the captain with a hearty "Ahoy, shipmate!" which put us
+upon pleasant terms at once, and we entered upon business.
+I said we were on a pedestrian tour to Heidelberg,
+and would like to take passage with him.  I said this
+partly through young Z, who spoke German very well,
+and partly through Mr. X, who spoke it peculiarly.  I can
+UNDERSTAND German as well as the maniac that invented it,
+but I TALK it best through an interpreter.
+
+The captain hitched up his trousers, then shifted
+his quid thoughtfully.  Presently he said just what I
+was expecting he would say--that he had no license
+to carry passengers, and therefore was afraid the law
+would be after him in case the matter got noised about
+or any accident happened.  So I CHARTERED the raft
+and the crew and took all the responsibilities on myself.
+
+With a rattling song the starboard watch bent to their
+work and hove the cable short, then got the anchor home,
+and our bark moved off with a stately stride, and soon
+was bowling along at about two knots an hour.
+
+Our party were grouped amidships.  At first the talk was
+a little gloomy, and ran mainly upon the shortness of life,
+the uncertainty of it, the perils which beset it, and the
+need and wisdom of being always prepared for the worst;
+this shaded off into low-voiced references to the dangers
+of the deep, and kindred matters; but as the gray east
+began to redden and the mysterious solemnity and silence
+of the dawn to give place to the joy-songs of the birds,
+the talk took a cheerier tone, and our spirits began to
+rise steadily.
+
+Germany, in the summer, is the perfection of the beautiful,
+but nobody has understood, and realized, and enjoyed
+the utmost possibilities of this soft and peaceful
+beauty unless he has voyaged down the Neckar on a raft.
+The motion of a raft is the needful motion; it is gentle,
+and gliding, and smooth, and noiseless; it calms down
+all feverish activities, it soothes to sleep all nervous
+hurry and impatience; under its restful influence all the
+troubles and vexations and sorrows that harass the mind
+vanish away, and existence becomes a dream, a charm,
+a deep and tranquil ecstasy.  How it contrasts with hot
+and perspiring pedestrianism, and dusty and deafening
+railroad rush, and tedious jolting behind tired horses
+over blinding white roads!
+
+We went slipping silently along, between the green and
+fragrant banks, with a sense of pleasure and contentment
+that grew, and grew, all the time.  Sometimes the banks
+were overhung with thick masses of willows that wholly
+hid the ground behind; sometimes we had noble hills on
+one hand, clothed densely with foliage to their tops,
+and on the other hand open levels blazing with poppies,
+or clothed in the rich blue of the corn-flower;
+sometimes we drifted in the shadow of forests, and sometimes
+along the margin of long stretches of velvety grass,
+fresh and green and bright, a tireless charm to the eye.
+And the birds!--they were everywhere; they swept back
+and forth across the river constantly, and their jubilant
+music was never stilled.
+
+It was a deep and satisfying pleasure to see the sun
+create the new morning, and gradually, patiently,
+lovingly, clothe it on with splendor after splendor,
+and glory after glory, till the miracle was complete.
+How different is this marvel observed from a raft,
+from what it is when one observes it through the dingy
+windows of a railway-station in some wretched village
+while he munches a petrified sandwich and waits for the train.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Tramp Abroad, Part 2
+by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
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