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<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 57406 ***</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
<div class="ad ad-border">
<div class="adbox">
<p class="center b">Pure Books on Avoided Subjects</p>
</div>
<div class="adbox">
<p class="center larger"><i>Books for Men</i></p>
<p class="center"><i>By Sylvanus Stall, D. D.</i></p>
<ul class="b">
<li>“What a Young Boy Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Young Man Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Young Husband Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Man of 45 Ought to Know.”</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="adbox">
<p class="center larger"><i>Books for Women</i></p>
<p class="center"><i>By Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M. D.,<br />
And Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M. D.</i></p>
<ul class="b">
<li>“What a Young Girl Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Young Woman Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Young Wife Ought to Know.”</li>
<li>“What a Woman of 45 Ought to Know.”</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div class="adbox">
<p class="center">PRICE AND BINDING</p>
<p>The books are issued in uniform size and but
one style of binding, and sell in America at $1, in
Great Britain at 4s., net, per copy, post free,
whether sold singly or in sets.</p>
<p class="center b">PUBLISHED BY</p>
<p class="center"><span class="smaller">IN THE UNITED STATES</span><br />
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY<br />
2237 Land Title Building Philadelphia</p>
<p class="center"><span class="smaller">IN ENGLAND</span><br />
THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY<br />
7 Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus, London, E.C.</p>
<p class="center"><span class="smaller">IN CANADA</span><br />
WILLIAM BRIGGS<br />
29-33 Richmond Street West Toronto, Ontario</p>
</div>
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span></p>
<div class="figcenter" style="width: 420px;">
<img src="images/frontispiece.jpg" width="420" height="600" alt="" />
<p class="caption">EMMA F. ANGELL DRAKE, M.D.</p>
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p>
<div class="frontmatter">
<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Price $1.00 net<br />
4s. net</span></p>
<p class="titlepage u">PURITY AND TRUTH</p>
<h1>WHAT A YOUNG<br />
WIFE<br />
OUGHT TO KNOW</h1>
<p class="center">(<i>THOUSAND DOLLAR PRIZE BOOK</i>)</p>
<p class="titlepage"><span class="smaller">BY</span><br />
<span class="smcap">Mrs. EMMA F. ANGELL DRAKE, M. D.</span></p>
<p class="justify">Graduate of Boston University Medical
College; formerly Physician and Principal
of Mr. Moody’s School at Northfield,
Mass.; Professor of Obstetrics at Denver
Homœopathic Medical School and Hospital;
Author of “What a Woman of 45
Ought to Know,” “Maternity Without
Suffering.”</p>
<p class="titlepage smaller"><span class="smcap">Philadelphia, Pa.: 2337 Land Title Building.</span></p>
<p class="center">THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY</p>
<div class="offices">
<p class="l"><span class="smcap">London:<br />
7, Imperial Arcade,<br />
Ludgate Circus, E. C.</span></p>
<p class="r"><span class="smcap">Toronto:<br />
Wm. Briggs,<br />
33 Richmond St., West.</span></p>
</div>
<p class="clearboth"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p>
<p class="titlepage smaller"><span class="smcap">Copyright</span>, 1901, by SYLVANUS STALL</p>
<p class="center smaller"><span class="smcap">Copyright</span>, 1902, by SYLVANUS STALL</p>
<p class="center smaller">Entered at Stationers’ Hall, London, England</p>
<p class="hanging smaller">Protected by International copyright in Great Britain and all
her colonies, and, under the provisions of the Berne Convention,
in Belgium, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Switzerland,
Tunis, Hayti, Luxembourg, Monaco, Norway, and Japan</p>
<p class="center smaller"><i>All rights reserved</i></p>
<p class="titlepage smaller">[PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES]</p>
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p>
<p class="titlepage"><span class="gothic larger">Dedicated</span><br />
<span class="smcap">To the Young Wives Who Desire the Best<br />
for Themselves, for their Husbands<br />
and for their Offspring</span></p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
<h2>PREFACE</h2>
<p>To this generation as to no other, are we
indebted for the awakening of woman. Not
the awakening alone which has led her out
of the old lines into nearly every avenue open
to man in his pursuit of the necessities and
luxuries of life; but that other and larger
awakening which has set her down face to
face with herself, and in her study of woman
she has shown herself courageous.</p>
<p>Bravely acknowledging her own limitations,
she has set herself the task of fortifying
the weak points, curbing the more daring aspirations,
and getting herself into trim, so to
speak, that she may traverse the sea of life,
without danger to herself, her cargo, or to
any of the countless ships which follow in her
wake, or that pass her in the day or the night.</p>
<p>Not all women have yet awakened, and for
those who have eyes to see, and have seen, a
great work is still waiting to be done. They
must reach out and rouse their sisters. Will<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span>
they do it? With our young wives rests the
weal or woe of the future generations. To
them we say, “What of the future, and what
sort of souls shall you give to it?”</p>
<p class="right"><span class="smcap">Emma F. A. Drake.</span></p>
<p class="smaller"><span class="smcap">Denver</span>, Colorado,<br />
United States of America.<br />
<i>February 1st, 1901.</i></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span></p>
<h2>CONTENTS.</h2>
<table summary="Contents">
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER I.<br />
INTELLIGENCE OF THE YOUNG WIFE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Out of girlhood into wifehood.—The setting up
of a new home.—Woman’s exalted place.—Earlier
influences.—Importance of intelligence.—Woman
fitted by creator for wifehood
and motherhood.—The position of reproductive
organs in the body.—Dangers of
crowding contents of abdomen.—What all
young wives need to know.—Premium previously
set upon ignorance.—Heredity.—Failures
and successes of our ancestors.—Faults
and virtues transmitted through heredity,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">21-35</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER II.<br />
HOME AND DRESS.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Preparations for successful home-makers.—The
importance of sensible dress.—An opportunity
for reform.—The conditions of attractive dress.—A
question of healthfulness.—What wives
need to know concerning dress.—The kind to
be avoided.—Injurious dress destroying the
race.—The ailments caused by wrong dressing.—The
corset curse.—A summary of the
evils of dress,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">37-46</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>CHAPTER III.<br />
HEALTH OF THE YOUNG WIFE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Health insures happiness.—Be ambitious for
health.—The scarcity of perfectly healthy
women.—Fashion to the Rescue.—The boon
of health.—Necessity of ventilation and fresh
air.—Duties to the home.—The greatness of
woman’s sphere.—In the society drift.—The
extreme of wholly avoiding society.—Keeping
in the middle of the road.—Pleasures and recreations
taken together.—Taking time to
keep young.—Mistakes which some husbands
make.—Wrecks at the beginning of married
life,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">47-55</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER IV.<br />
THE CHOICE OF A HUSBAND.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Higher standards are being set up in the choice
of a husband.—Should be worthy of both love
and respect.—Love likely to idealize the man.—The
real characteristics necessary.—Deficiencies
in character not to be supplied after
marriage.—The right to demand purity.—Young
men who “sow wild oats.”—Importance
of good health.—Weaknesses and
diseases which descend from parents to children.—The
parents’ part in aiding to a wise
choice.—The value of the physician’s counsel.—One
capable of supporting wife and children.—A
dutiful son makes a good husband.—Essential
requisites enumerated.—The
father reproduced in his children.—The
equivalents which the wife should bring to
her husband,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">57-64</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>CHAPTER V.<br />
WHAT SHALL A YOUNG WIFE EXPECT TO BE TO HER HUSBAND?</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The young wife should seek to be her husband’s
equal, but not his counterpart.—The recognized
centre of the home.—Woman’s true
greatness.—Man’s helpmeet.—Mrs. Gladstone’s
part in her husband’s greatness.—Should
attract her husband from the club to
the home.—Continuing to be attractive in
dress and manners.—Should accept both wifehood
and motherhood.—Should keep pace
with his mental growth.—Guarding against
improper use of literary clubs, reading circles,
etc.—Solomon’s picture of the model young
wife.—A converted heathen’s estimate of his
Christian wife,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">65-72</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER VI.<br />
TROUSSEAU AND WEDDING PRESENTS.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Husband and wife ruined before their “crane
is hung.”—The foolish and ruinous display at
weddings.—An illustration given.—How wedding
presents lead to debt and unhappiness.—Living
does not need much machinery.—Mistake
of copying after people of large
wealth.—Wise choice of furniture.—The best
adornments for the home.—The trousseaux of
our foremothers.—The need of simplicity.—Artificialities
that make a veil between our
souls and God,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">73-78</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>CHAPTER VII.<br />
THE MARITAL RELATIONS.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The subject approached with reluctance.—The
marital state should be the most sacred of
sanctuaries.—Wrongly interpreted it is the
abode of darkness and sin.—Its influence for
good or evil upon character.—Responsibility
of mothers for the unhappy lives of their
daughters.—Commercial marriages.—Marriage
as it should be.—The husband’s danger
from “aggressiveness.”—The wife should not
provoke the wrongs she suffers.—Marital
modesty.—Parenthood the justification of the
marital act.—Reproduction the primal purpose.—Harmony
of purpose and life.—Love’s
highest plane.—The value of continence.—The
right and wrong of marriage.—The relation
during gestation.—Effects of relation
during gestation illustrated.—The wrong-doings
of good men.—The fruits of ignorance.—The
better day coming,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">79-96</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER VIII.<br />
PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Motherhood the glory of womanhood.—Maternity
natural and productive of health.—Prevalence
of knowledge of methods used to
prevent conception.—Mothers should prepare
their daughters for maternity.—Motherhood
the sanction for wifehood.—Effect of fixed
habits of mother upon offspring.—Adjustment
of clothing to expectant motherhood.—Importance
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>of proper exercise.—The sitz bath.—Effects
of environment upon the unborn.—Why
Italian children resemble the madonnas.—The
child the expression of the mother’s
thoughts.—The five stages of prenatal culture
stated and illustrated.—The mother of the
Wesleys.—The child the heir and expression
of the mother’s thought and life,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">97-112</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER IX.<br />
PREPARATION FOR FATHERHOOD.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The command to “replenish the earth.”—Preparation
for motherhood more written about
than preparation for fatherhood.—Questions
which would test the fitness of young men
for marriage.—Parents should know the character
of young men who desire their daughters
in marriage.—Many young men of startling
worth.—The improving of a good heritage.—Effects
of bad morals and wayward habits.—Effects
of tobacco and alcoholics.—How young
women help to contribute bad habits in young
men.—The years of rooting and weeding
necessary.—Attaining the best.—The father
reproduced in his children,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">113-121</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER X.<br />
ANTENATAL INFANTICIDE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The alarming prevalence of this hideous sin.—How
daughters are initiated.—How expectant
mothers appeal to reputable physicians.—Young
women should be taught to associate
the idea of marriage with motherhood.—Destruction
of own health and life go hand in
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>hand with prenatal murder.—Effect of such
attempts upon the physical life and character.—Life
from the moment of conception.—The
injustice and cruel wrongs inflicted upon
wives by uncontrolled passions of husbands.—Obligation
of motherhood should be recognized.—Its
blessings.—The duty of the physician
as educator of public sentiment,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">123-134</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XI.<br />
THE MORAL RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS IN HEREDITY.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The duty of the present to future generations.—Darwin
on heredity.—Nature inexorable.—The
mother’s investment of moulding power.—The
father’s important part in the transmission
of heredity.—The parents workers
together with God.—Parents must reap what
they sow.—The law and the gospel of heredity
contrasted.—The children of inebriates and
others.—Lessons from reformatory institutions.—The
outcast Margaret.—The mother of
Samson.—How a child became an embodiment
of “The Lady of the Lake.”—The
woman who desired to be the mother of
governors.—Importance of this study,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">135-145</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XII.<br />
AILMENTS OF PREGNANCY.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Pregnancy not an unnatural but a normal state.—Tendency
to neglect hygienic rules.—Morning
sickness.—How to correct it.—Important
questions of diet.—Displaced uterus
as cause of nausea.—Mental states.—Companionship.—Various
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>gastric
troubles.—Insomnia.—Hysteria.—Constipation and how to
correct it.—Longings.—Self-control.—With
proper care, as a rule all goes well,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">147-154</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XIII.<br />
DEVELOPMENT OF THE FŒTUS.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Minuteness of the germ of human life.—The
embryo cell and its store of food.—Its journey
to the uterus.—Meeting the spermatozoön,
conception occurs.—The changes which take
place in the uterus.—Life is present the
moment conception takes place.—The mysterious
development of the embryo.—The sin
of tampering with the work of the infinite.—The
various changes in the development of
the embryo and fœtus set forth.—The changes
that occur each month.—Parenthood the benediction
of husband and wife,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIII">155-162</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XIV.<br />
BABY’S WARDROBE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The question that comes with fluttering signs of
life.—Importance of wise choice of material
and style of dress.—The blessedness of
mother’s joy in preparing baby’s clothing.—The
questions of dress important.—Formerly
seemingly planned for discomfort.—The
“binder” an instrument of torture.—Better
methods now prevail.—The napkin.—How
to establish regular habits for baby.—The
pinning blanket.—The little shirt.—Baby’s
earliest and best dress described.—The complete
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span>wardrobe described.—The furnishings of
the basket.—Things which are not to baby’s
taste or comfort.—The later wardrobe,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIV">163-171</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XV.<br />
THE CHOICE OF PHYSICIAN AND NURSE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Choice of physician and nurse of real consequence.—Choose
a physician whom you can
trust implicitly.—A cleanly man.—The wife
should make the selection.—A Christian physician.—Choice
of nurse.—Wife most capable
of making choice.—Advice of the physician
desirable.—She should be pleasing to the
wife.—Cleanliness.—Gentleness.—A person
of individuality.—Neatness in manner and
clothing.—Should be intelligent.—Physician
and nurse should work in sympathy.—A good
cook.—Able to converse, but not a gossip.—Many
such physicians and nurses,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XV">173-177</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XVI.<br />
THE BIRTH CHAMBER.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Memory’s dissimilar pictures of birth-chamber
scenes.—Newborn souls welcomed to
mother’s arms and love.—The rebellious
mother with empty heart and unwilling arms.—The
older children reflect the spirit of the
mother toward the newcomer.—Illustrations
of conduct of intelligent children toward
mother at birth period.—How to calculate
date of confinement.—Birth chamber no terror
for those who live hygienically.—Anæsthetics.—Their
use explained.—Allaying anxiety.—Earliest
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span>premonitions.—Preparation.—The
three stages of labor.—Tying the cord.—The
rest and joy that complete and crown
labor,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVI">179-187</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XVII.<br />
SURROUNDINGS AND AFTER-CARE OF THE MOTHER.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Maternity should have the largest and brightest
room in the house.—It is her coronation
room.—Simplicity of labor with healthy
women.—Science has reduced risk to the
minimum.—The exaltation of motherhood.—The
rest after labor.—How to prepare a bed
for the parturient.—Deliverance of mother
from friends and visitors.—Sanitary pads.—Regular
nursing.—Undisturbed sleep.—No
binder necessary for mother.—The care of the
breasts.—Diet.—Sitting up.—Six or eight
weeks needed to regain normal condition.—The
use of the douche.—Sore nipples.—The
bearing of children not to be dreaded.—The
joy of motherhood,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVII">189-200</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XVIII.<br />
CARE OF THE BABY.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The more thoughtful treatment of babies than
formerly.—The first attention that baby needs.—Its
oil bath.—The care of the eyes.—The
care of the placentic cord.—Baby’s first bath.—Its
covering after the bath.—The basket.—Regularity
in nursing.—Waking at night.—Rocking
to sleep.—Quantity of food.—The
appointments of the nursery.—The mother
<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span>and the care of her own children.—To her
children the mother should be the dearest
creature in the world.—The babies born of
love.—The babies born in bitterness.—The
responsibilities and joys of motherhood,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XVIII">201-212</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XIX.<br />
THE MOTHER THE TEACHER.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Food, clothing and restraint not the mother’s
full duty to her children.—Teach them self-knowledge.—Mother
should give honest answers
to honest inquiries.—Ignorance leads to
vice, and vice to ruin.—When shall children
be taught physical truths.—How to teach
little children physical truth.—Questions of
sex should be the most sacred things of their
knowledge.—How to teach the children in
this sacred way.—Mothers should teach their
boys as well as the girls.—How boys grow
away from their mothers.—How mothers may
win and hold their boys.—An honest mother’s
reward,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XIX">213-228</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XX.<br />
COMMON AILMENTS OF CHILDREN.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Little ailments.—Nursing babies affected by
condition of mother.—Sleep and health.—The
baby’s food.—Why babies are restless when
nursed from the right breast.—Children’s
symptoms often more grave than the ailment.—Illustrations.—Fevers
and teething.—Vomiting.—The
cause of rash.—Pallid
children.—Chafing.—Babies do not cry without
cause.—Need of water and fresh air.—Sleeping
in open air.—Relief in constipation.—Important
suggestions,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XX">229-236</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span>CHAPTER XXI.<br />
GUARDING AGAINST SECRET VICE.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The mother’s preparation as guide and protector
of her children.—Safeguards for tiny babyhood.—Cleanliness,
regularity, chafing, pin
worms, servants, nurse girls, etc., etc.—How
to teach and guard them during childhood.—Safeguarding
the children with knowledge.—Inborn
curiosity concerning physical mysteries.—How
to meet these questions.—Sleeping
alone.—How to correct vice where it exists.
The duty of physicians to the public.—Symptoms
which call for parental watchfulness.—Results
of secret vice.—Rewards of
parental vigilance,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXI">237-244</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XXII.<br />
THE TRAINING OF CHILDREN.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The training which develops talents.—When
child-training should begin.—The training of
her children the mother’s all-important calling.—The
influence of the mother’s own
character and life.—The children imitators of
their parents.—Importance of earliest training.—Spoiled
children.—Children’s rights.—The
proper correction of children.—Broken
promises and parental falsehoods.—Value of
tact in parental discipline.—Value of parental
sympathy.—The mother, herself, the best gift
to her children.—The choice of books and
stories.—The choice of companions for the
children.—Toys, sports and amusements.—An
appeal to mothers,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXII">245-262</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>CHAPTER XXIII.<br />
BODY-BUILDING.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">Our duty to nourish, strengthen and build up
strong bodies.—Eradicating inherited infirmities.—Children
inherit the permanent states
of their parents.—The parents’ duty to those
who are not well born.—What has been accomplished
along these lines.—The relation of
babies’ clothing and food to physical growth.—Unwise
feeding.—The laws of nutrition.—The
relation of food to national greatness.—A
list of good foods.—The relation of exercise to
appetite.—Comparative value of meat and
vegetables.—Importance of rest and sleep.—Regular
sleeping hours.—Schools and nervousness
in children.—Many children are not
properly nourished.—Food poorly prepared
and poorly served.—The importance of
hygienic cooking.—The cause of weak eyes
in children.—Children and bare feet.—The
dosing of children with nostrums.—The use
of brandy and wine in cooking,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIII">263-285</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdc1" colspan="2">CHAPTER XXIV.<br />
MOTHERS’ MEETINGS, STUDY CLUBS AND BOOKS.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td class="tdsub">The awakening along new lines.—A better
brand of mothers.—Books that will help along
this line.—Mothers’ clubs as factors.—Their
need in cities, villages, and rural communities.—A
rich mine,</td>
<td class="tdpg"><a href="#CHAPTER_XXIV">287-292</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_I">CHAPTER I.<br />
<span class="smaller">INTELLIGENCE OF THE YOUNG WIFE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Out of Girlhood into Wifehood.—The Setting up of
a New Home.—Woman’s Exalted Place.—Earlier
Influences.—Importance of Intelligence.—Woman
Fitted by Creator for Wifehood and Motherhood.—The
Position of Reproductive Organs in the
Body.—Dangers of Crowding Contents of Abdomen.—What
all Young Wives Need to Know.—Premium
Previously set upon Ignorance.—Heredity.—Failures
and Successes of our Ancestors.—Faults
and Virtues Transmitted through Heredity.</p>
</div>
<p>What a young wife ought to know is a
large question, and one which we neither
hope nor expect to answer fully in this little
book, but if what we shall say shall set our
girls to thinking a little more seriously and
more exaltedly, of the great possibilities
which await them: if it shall prepare them to
enter the sacred realm of marriage with
holier thoughts of the high duties they are
assuming, we shall be content, feeling we
have accomplished our purpose.</p>
<p>Out of girlhood into wifehood, seems a
short step, but it is one fraught with grave<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>
responsibilities. If all along your girlhood
way, your aspirations have been high, and
you have been living for the best, you are
prepared for the new life and its duties; if,
on the other hand, you have been drifting
thoughtlessly, as so many girls are allowed to
do, you will have little conception of what
the future holds for you.</p>
<p>A new home at your touch is to be called
into being; a new altar reared, upon which
the sacrificial offerings shall be those of love,
and confidence, and life, and mutual endeavor,
and work, not for self, but for that
other self whom you have chosen out of all
the world to be the sharer of everything that
life means and that you hold dear.</p>
<p>“And the Lord said, it is not good that
the man should be alone; I will make him
an help meet for him.” And have you ever
thought that in all these years we have made
the mistake of writing these words together
as one? We lose half of the designed meaning
when we do this. “Meet means to have
bestowed upon or sent to one: to have befall
one, to have happen appropriately or deservedly.
How full of meaning with this
definition do the two words become. As if
the Creator left the calling into life of woman,
until he saw the great need, and then bestowed<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span>
her as a blessing upon man: that
goodness was only accomplished when he
made woman to be a helper to man.”</p>
<p>We are very sure that there was nothing
in the creative thought, of degradation, in
this giving of woman to man. Nothing of
degradation in the thought of her sphere and
work. It is a work distinct from that of
man, and yet supplemental to it; in many
ways unlike his and yet not inferior to it. It
is a large half of the work of the great busy
world—a work that is beautiful, noble, helpful,
uplifting; and when done in the spirit
of love and willingness that should always
characterize it, it beautifies and ennobles the
worker.</p>
<p>Dear young wives, begin your married
lives with the thought that it is no mean
place that you are called to fill, and make it
your highest pleasure to fit yourselves for it
worthily.</p>
<p>Some of you have come from homes of
wealth, where you have been accustomed to
have every wish gratified, often before it was
expressed; and it may be that the one you
have chosen will not be as able to gratify
your wishes. Be very sure that in the light
of his love and companionship you will not
miss the abundance to which you have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>
hitherto been accustomed, and take great
care that you keep fast hold of this thought,
and work it out into reality daily, through
your oneness with him, and your sweet,
strong, self-assertive love. Together you can
work up to the greater affluence in worldly
things and grow the richer in character as
you attain.</p>
<p>Others of you have come from homes
where the necessities of life must be planned
for carefully, and where luxuries were few.
Perhaps the man who has chosen you for his
mate, may rejoice that the hard work and
careful planning to make the ends meet,
which has been your lot hitherto, will no
longer be necessary, for he will lift you to a
home and position of plenty, and his heart
delights in so doing. Take care, dear young
wife, your lot will be beset with more difficulties
than those spoken of above. The
invitations to ease and prodigality, to which
you have not been accustomed, but which
seem so delightful now, will prove a snare to
your higher womanhood and nobler self-contained
independence of character, if you do
not put your better self on guard; and all
your strong lessons that were learned in your
earlier life of patient endeavor will be forgotten
in the new life of ease and pleasure.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p>
<p>Others of you will begin from the same
level the united climb towards success, and
your care will be, that you do not let into
your hearts the dangerous guests, envy and
greed. Either will spoil your home if entertained,
and prevent your gathering the sweets
of life by the way.</p>
<p>In the days which precede marriage, everything
relating to it has been idealized, and
the awaking to the knowledge that ideality
and reality are two very different things, will
come to you with a severe shock, unless you
bring to the issue all the good common sense
and womanliness you possess. The rose-color
which everything assumed in courtship,
is now toned down to a more sober hue, and
it is yours to see that it becomes not too
sombre; but rather mingle with it enough of
the vermilion and the rose to brighten the
entire day of married life, and glorify its sunset.
After all, you have only reached the
haven towards which your bark has been
tending since your earliest recollection.
Every day of your girlhood life has had in it
some hope, some confident thought, some
sweet vision, of the days when you would be
a woman, and some one, the only one in all
the world for you, would come a-wooing and
prove to you surely that your life was planned<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>
as the complement of his; that the home he
intends to set up shall be perfect only when
you consent to be its queen; that his life, in
short, is only waiting for its fulfilment—which
really means fillfullment when you
shall come in to fill it full.</p>
<p>Should your love compel consent to this,
and should you have courage, and unselfishness,
and power, and real character, and self-abnegation,
and hopefulness, and help-fullness,
and uplifting patience, and hidden
leadership sufficient, you will make of the
two-in-one life a beautiful strength that shall
bless the world.</p>
<p>Now you have come to the realization of
these dreams, and never for a moment must
your courage falter, never for a moment your
ideals be lowered.</p>
<p>If perchance some of you have come to
wifehood uninformed upon all the questions
of girlhood and womanhood, which will prepare
you for the sacred duties and responsibilities
before you, it is not yet too late to
learn; although this disadvantage confronts
you, that very much must be crowded into a
short space of time, and that many experiences
will overtake you before you are prepared
for them. Even at this do not be discouraged.
Everything is possible to her who<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span>
wills, and if you will to prepare yourself better
for wifehood and motherhood, even at so
late a day, the way is open. By enquiry
you will find many books to help you, and
many motherly women, who, having learned
in the dear school of experience, are fitted to
teach you the pitfalls you must avoid, and
encourage you with promises of success, if
you are patient.</p>
<p>Perhaps some of you approach wifehood
with a dread of its cares and duties.
Wrongly taught, or wrongly thinking, you
have a nameless dread that you cannot
shake off, and it distresses you. There is
nothing to alarm you. Physically, woman
as created, answers the question of fitness for
the work laid upon her.</p>
<p>Let us consider a little, her peculiar adaptation,
and the suitability of each part to the
purpose intended by the all-wise Creator.</p>
<p>The nervous system is a little more highly
organized than in man; the heart and blood
vessels adjusted to swifter work; the brain
quicker; the muscles not so hard and tense.
In place of the logical, she possesses the intuitive
mind, which makes her capable of
reaching a conclusion while man is thinking
about it. She has less strength, but greater
endurance; less daring in achievement, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>
more patience; less forcefulness, but more
quiet insistence; less practicality, but more
of the æsthetic; less ambition to assume the
great responsibilities of life, but more painstaking
in the little and no less important
things which go so far towards making the
days sweet and peaceful. All these differences
from man, her companion, but make
her the more desirable and attractive.</p>
<p>Unlike man in her physical form, her departure
from his type, was to fit her for
motherhood. Narrower shouldered and less
muscular, because not needing the brawn for
lifting and laboring with her hands in the
harder, coarser way; she is broader through
the hips to give ample room for cradling her
children.</p>
<p>The pelvis is the broad flat basin, at the
lower part of the body, formed by the union
of the two large bones, the ossa inominata,
which bound it on either side and in front,
and the sacrum and coccyx which complete
it behind. The sacrum and coccyx are the
nine lower vertebræ of the spinal column,
five in the sacrum and four in the coccyx.</p>
<p>All the bones in the pelvis in woman are
lighter and more delicate than in man—in
whom they are designed mainly for strength—and
the protuberances for the attachment<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>
of muscles are less prominent, making a
smoother inner surface in the pelvis of
woman. Neither are the joints so inflexible
as in man; that of the coccyx with the
sacrum being quite movable, while the union
of the two bones in front will permit slight
separation during the act of childbirth.</p>
<p>Within this pelvis lie the internal generative
organs, namely, the uterus, or womb, the
ovaries and fallopian tubes, and beside these
the rectum and bladder. The pelvis belongs
to these organs and to these alone; but how
often their sphere is trespassed upon by the
crowding down of the organs above, is matter
for grave consideration. To each of
these organs is given space sufficient, if their
room be not infringed upon by each other or
by the abdominal viscera above.</p>
<p>First let us consider the unlawful demand
made by one or the other organ within the
pelvis for more space than rightfully belongs
to it. Girls very often from want of thought,
and from ignorance of the gravity of results
which such carelessness may lead to, neglect
the regular evacuation of the bladder and
bowels, and the result is from the fulness of
the bladder long continued, a pushing of the
uterus backward which may, if the habit be
kept up, result in permanent displacement.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>
On the other hand, from a neglect of the
bowels, a full rectum may force the uterus
forward and downward. If this carelessness
is persisted in, a displacement becomes a permanent
condition, and a consequent adhesion
of the walls of the uterus to the neighboring
organs often follows. This, as you can readily
see, will make serious difficulty for the uterus
when performing its functions in pregnancy,
and brings on many nervous troubles which
greatly affect the entire organism.</p>
<p>The womb too, by its false position, crowds
the blood vessels of the pelvis, and thus interferes
with the circulation of the pelvic
organs and all parts below. Added to this it
interferes with the portal circulation,—or circulation
through the liver,—and thus disturbs
the distribution of blood in the digestive
organs, and all parts supplied by the blood-flow
through the liver. For this reason, you
can readily understand how many stomach
troubles may be caused by wrong conditions
in the pelvis.</p>
<p>As the bladder and rectum are capable of
great distension, when full they allow little
space for the womb. If when distended
these organs always pushed the uterus upward,
the displacement would cause less
serious results; but on the contrary, from<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>
the natural position of all the organs, when
crowded, the tendency is downward; especially
is this so as the result of a neglected
and distended rectum, which causes the prolapse,
or falling of the womb with all its attendant
ills. And the evil does not always
stop with this organ alone, but may lead to
grave bladder difficulties, and to hemorrhoids
and other rectal diseases.</p>
<p>The abdominal cavity, or space between
the diaphragm above and the pelvis below,
has also sufficient room for all the organs
located in it, but this cavity too is abused,
by faulty dressing, and not only are the contents
of the abdomen compelled to suffer;
but by their being crowded downward the
contents of the pelvis are encroached upon,
and the ills I have already alluded to in the
pelvis are further aggravated.</p>
<p>So much for the knowledge of the physical
needed by the young wife, and this is but
a beginning. In a book of this compass
scarcely more than hints can be given.</p>
<p>Every young woman before entering into
marriage should have at least a fair knowledge
of the following subjects.</p>
<p>1. The human organization, the various
organs which compose it, and the functions
of each.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p>
<p>2. The care requisite to the healthy maintenance
of these organs, and the food required
to nourish them.</p>
<p>3. How to dress so that organic functions
may not be disturbed, and so that beauty and
form may be preserved.</p>
<p>4. How to exercise so that muscles and
nerves may be kept in vigor, and the blood
in active circulation.</p>
<p>5. How much rest to take thoroughly to
recuperate the wasted energies, and keep the
spirits buoyant.</p>
<p>6. What to deny one’s self, that health
may be preserved and the temper kept sweet.</p>
<p>7. As a part of the great human family,
what is one’s responsibility to herself, to her
family, to the best use of her time, and the
generation which shall come after her?</p>
<p>8. Is reproduction a multiplying of one’s
self; and if so, is she willing that herself,
just as she is, should be reproduced.</p>
<p>9. What faults and failings has she, that
she would not like to entail upon her offspring?</p>
<p>10. A thorough knowledge and understanding
of the reproductive system.</p>
<p>11. Hereditary influences, and her moral
responsibility in the inheritance of the generations
to follow her.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span></p>
<p>To quote from Dr. Wm. Capp, “An appreciation
of the situation cannot, however,
be expected in the young who, in the surge
of mental and bodily development, with its
charming surprises of novelty, heedlessly
float along in the present quite unconscious
of future dangers, of which it is impossible
for them to know, except they be warned by
trusted guides.” He then adds, “The best
social interests of the race are in the keeping
of faithful mothers. Their education, both
of intellect and heart, should be of the highest
order.”</p>
<p>Instead of any inducement having been
offered our young people for extending their
knowledge of self, a premium has been put
upon ignorance, and the result has been in
many cases disastrous to both health and
morals. The time is not far distant, we believe,
when our young people will refuse any
longer to be considered, in the knowledge of
self, ignorantly pure. Ignorance is <em>not</em> purity,
but is often the <em>cause</em> of the grossest <em>impurity</em>;
while intelligent knowledge is productive
of purity of the highest and noblest
type.</p>
<p>Further if our young wives would know
themselves, they must of necessity become
acquainted with the peculiarities, physical<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span>
and mental, of father, mother, grandfather
and grandmother. In other words, they
must not only know themselves as they are,
but the families from which they sprang;
then will they know, measurably, the possibilities
of their natures, and their limitations.</p>
<p>As well might the botanist talk of knowing
the lovely American Beauty rose, when
he had only studied its form and color, its
budding and blossoming. He could tell you
of its beauty, its fragrance, its colors and its
season; but to know it perfectly, he must go
patiently back, through every member of the
rose family which has a share in its production;
and study until he knows every strain
which has combined to produce the beautiful
harmonious entirety, which we find in this
full red rose. So, my dears, go patiently
back through the lines of your ancestry and
learn your heritage—mental, moral and physical.
Could you add to this knowledge the
share that environment and education can
rightly claim, and then deduce the possibilities
which belong to such a life, you would
be at the threshold of achievement, at the
morning of a successful life, if you are ready
to enthrone a consecrated will, and put real
purpose into your life.</p>
<p>There is something, perhaps, in a family<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>
tree that is desirable; but one to my liking
must contain more than the names of the ancestors.
Each must have his prominent
characteristics attached, his failures and his
successes, as necessary guides for his descendants.
It might not in many instances engender
family pride, while on the other hand,
were these records possessed, they could certainly
be made a great incentive to noble
endeavor.</p>
<p>Is the human family of less consequence
than the horse? It would be an interesting
study and full of suggestiveness, to take
down the books which contain the pedigree
of our blooded horses, and note how sire and
dam through generations, have transmitted
their faults and virtues to their offspring.
Further note how the possibilities of a colt
are based upon the achievements of his progenitors.
Alas! Man in his study and
knowledge of the equine race has gotten far
ahead of man in his study of the human
family. I fancy that if a college for the
training of fine horses were established, one
of the chief things in the curriculum would
be a knowledge of pedigree. And why?
Because upon such knowledge is based the
possibilities of the individual.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_II">CHAPTER II.<br />
<span class="smaller">HOME AND DRESS.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Preparations for Successful Home-Makers.—The Importance
of Sensible Dress.—An Opportunity for
Reform.—The Conditions of Attractive Dress.—A
Question of Healthfulness.—What Wives Need
to Know Concerning Dress.—The Kind to be
Avoided.—Injurious Dress Destroying the Race.—The
Ailments Caused by Wrong Dressing.—The
Corset Curse.—A Summary of the Evils of Dress.</p>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Home’s not merely four square walls</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Though with pictures hung and gilded,</div>
<div class="verse">Home is where affection calls,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Home’s a shrine the heart has builded.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>It has been argued by the over-fastidious,
when these great questions relating to our
being and well-being are discussed, that it is
better for our daughters that they should not
know what awaits them in marriage, “lest
their heart fail them.” This cannot be best.
Stepping into an unknown sphere with no
definite knowledge of its demands and with
no preparation to meet these demands, will
only occasion disheartenment, if not downright<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span>
discontent, when the difficulties and responsibilities
are met.</p>
<p>As well might a raw recruit enter the army
with no knowledge of warfare and without
having been drilled for service, and expect at
once to become a successful commander. As
well might one accept any other position of
high trust in life, without knowing what fitness
was demanded, and hence all unprepared
for it, the only qualification of the one
accepting the trust being respect for and confidence
in the employer, and expect to render
excellent service, as for a wife to enter
unprepared upon her high duties. In either
case, by dint of hard and unremitting work,
a few might succeed, but the many would
fail.</p>
<p>A revised proverb says, “Home was not
built in a day.” To insure a successful home
the home-maker must be a success, and to
accomplish this there are years of thoughtful
preparation necessary.</p>
<p>Marguerite Lindley says, “We cannot
overdo the matter of discreetly rearing our
girls. They are to be the wives and mothers
of the next generation, and on them rests the
matter of the prosperity of the nation. The
world is to be largely influenced by their
abilities and strength, and it rests with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span>
educators of to-day to prepare them for the
great work that is before them. The keynote
for harmony in mental and physical education
has never yet been touched, and will not
be until their physical well-being is made
supreme, and the mental is based on its
power.”</p>
<p>Jules Michelet, in his admirable book,
L’Amour—admirable for the time and for the
people for whom it was written—says, “It
would seem that French mothers were determined
to educate their daughters in all the
non-essentials to wifehood and motherhood,
while the things that pertained to their own
well-being, and the well-being of home and
family, were utterly neglected.” Again, he
says, “Every mother practices a kind of self-delusion.
She will say, most emphatically,
‘Oh, how I love my daughter,’ and yet what
does she do for her? She does not prepare
her for marriage either mentally or physically.”</p>
<p>When our daughters have had it burned in
upon their inner consciousness that sensible
dress and early hours, hygienic food and
habitual outdoor exercise, will do for them
and the succeeding generations what nothing
else can do; and when our young men show
their appreciation of these things, and commend<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>
them in the highest terms possible, then
will a better day dawn for the race, and a real
start be made for the true betterment of mankind.
Is it not true, that the majority of our
young women emulate the fancies and customs
upon which our young men put a
premium? Here then is an opportunity for
our wide-awake sons to set the pace in a reform
that will tell more for the coming generations
than they dream of. Says a late
writer, “We may smile at but need not rebuke
the instinct of the young girl to enhance
by adornments her physical charms, which
nature already has made more attractive than
all things else to man. Woman’s innate solicitude
is to please, but this is not best accomplished
by artificial manners or external
show.”</p>
<p>We see nothing wrong in adding to the first
intent of dress—namely a covering—anything,
yes everything which may make it attractive,
so long as it does not detract from
its healthfulness and comfort.</p>
<p>Is it not very strange that so many women
of sense and wisdom, and breadth of culture
far beyond the ordinary, will not hesitate to
adopt and cling to customs of dress that are
little less than barbarous. Does it not seem,
that among the large majority of women in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>
civilized lands, the question is, when dress is
considered, “Is it becoming?” or “Is it
within the reach of my pocketbook?” while
rarely is the consideration of healthfulness
given any weight whatever. It is a lamentable
truth, but we must acknowledge it if we
are honest.</p>
<p>Dress is not alone a study in æsthetics, not
alone a study in tastefulness, not alone a
study of fancy or fashion; but first, last and
always it should be a question of healthfulness;
and then all of the æsthetic, all of the
fashion and fancy you desire may be added
to it, so long as they do not in any measure
defeat its first purpose.</p>
<p>What do our young wives need to know
concerning dress, that they may be better
fitted for the responsibilities which await
them? They need to know what is harmful
in the present fashion, that they may in their
larger wisdom, avoid it, and in its place
adopt that which will insure health and happiness
for themselves and their offspring.</p>
<p>To understand the dangers and institute
the reforms necessary, they must know the
anatomy and physiology of the female body,
and what is necessary to keep each organ in
perfect health. This in a general way they
learn in their school life, as far as lungs,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span>
heart and liver are concerned; but to go below
the waist in knowledge, is considered indelicate
in the extreme.</p>
<p>They must know that the corset, in their
growing girlhood, prevents their proper development,
and in their maturer years restricts
them so that lungs, heart, and liver
and abdominal organs can do but half their
work, and that very poorly. They should
be taught that allowing their clothes to hang
from their hips is harmful in the extreme,
and induces a multitude of ills that unfit
them for maternity.</p>
<p>Let them think for a moment, that the
corset when worn tight enough to insure the
form which is considered correct, so narrows
their lung capacity that they can but half inflate
them, and so a double duty is thrown
upon the heart in its effort to purify the
blood, while an insufficient quantity of oxygen
is given it for the purpose. When the
lungs are inflated to their <em>fullest capacity</em>,
there is only sufficient oxygen furnished to
burn the waste material of the system which
is thrown off through the blood. What
then must be the result when a half, or a
third of the lung capacity is used?</p>
<p>One physician has said: “Woman by
her injurious style of dress is doing as much<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>
to destroy the race as is man by alcoholism.”
Another physician, Dr. Ellis, says, “The
practice of tight lacing has done more within
the last century towards the physical deterioration
of civilized man, than has war, pestilence
and famine combined.” Frances
Willard said, “But woman’s everlasting befrilled,
bedizened, and bedraggled style of
dress, is to-day doing more harm to children
unborn, born and dying, than all other
causes that compel public attention.”</p>
<p>Again the corset when worn closely, or
worn at all, we feel compelled to say,—because
no woman who has worn a corset for
years seems to be conscious that she is wearing
it closely,—crowds the contents of the
abdomen downward until these organs encroach
upon the pelvic contents, and the
uterus is displaced, and the long train of ills
which inevitably follows such displacement
comes as the penalty. Not always does the
punishment come at once, but sooner or
later it overtakes its victim, if not before the
climacteric, surely, then, at the period of
middle life.</p>
<p>Among the many ailments which come
from displacements of the womb are constipation,
imperfect circulation, stomach difficulties,
broken down nerves, headaches, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>
a generally weakened condition which totally
unfits the sufferer for motherhood or for any
other responsibility of life.</p>
<p>Another evil in dress, which seems hard to
overcome, is the heavy weight imposed upon
the hips. This is, to-day, in a measure obviated
by those who are able to wear the silk
petticoats, and silk-lined skirts; for those
who are not able to do this, the burden is a
heavy one, unless great care is taken to
lighten the dress as much as possible.</p>
<p>The well-made, corded and boneless waist,
with shoulder straps, and supports for all the
skirts, is the only reasonable thing; and this
must be loose enough to allow the waist
ample room for development. Think of
sixty millions of corsets sold in a year in
America,—one for nearly every man, woman
and child in the land! Is it strange that our
women are invalids, and the American race
fast dying out? It is said that a French
artist represented the devil in the dress and
corset of a fashionable woman! A terrible
commentary upon feminine folly.</p>
<p>Mrs. Ecob, in her book, <cite>The Well-dressed
Woman</cite>, which every young wife should read,
says: “The corset curse among women is
more insidious than the drink curse among
men. Total abstinence from both sins is the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>
only safe ground. A woman can no more
be trusted with a corset, than a drunkard
with a glass of whiskey.”</p>
<p>To sum up the evils of dress and suggest
lines of study, is all we have room for in our
short space.</p>
<p>1. Insufficient underwear.</p>
<p>2. The corset—which compresses the vital
organs, overheats the region it covers, displaces
the pelvic contents, serves as an excuse
for hanging the clothes upon the hips,
impedes the circulation of the blood in the
extremities, lungs and brain, and robs the
wearer of freedom and grace of movement;
while it brings in the long line of ills which
have doomed our American women to invalidism,
and robbed their children, if they have
any, of their lawful inheritance, good health.</p>
<p>3. Heavy and trailing skirts, which burden
the wearers, and impede their motion.</p>
<p>4. Inequality of clothing, which covers
the waist and abdomen, which should not be
overheated, with from ten to fifteen thicknesses,
while the shoulders and limbs are
often covered with but one thickness, and
that of cotton.</p>
<p>5. The high-heeled shoes which throw the
body out of the natural poise, and so displace
the womb.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span></p>
<p>6. The general lack of thought of what
dress should be in order to give health and
comfort to its wearers.</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Evil is wrought by want of thought</div>
<div class="verse indent1">As well as by want of heart.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>Our young wives should know these evils,
and institute a crusade against them, so
strong and forcible, that intelligent common
sense shall govern in dress, and health and
happiness be the blessed results, in the home.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_III">CHAPTER III.<br />
<span class="smaller">HEALTH OF THE YOUNG WIFE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Health Insures Happiness.—Be Ambitious for
Health.—The Scarcity of Perfectly Healthy
Women.—Fashion to the Rescue.—The Boon of
Health.—Necessity of Ventilation and Fresh Air.—Duties
to the Home.—The Greatness of Woman’s
Sphere.—In the Society Drift.—The Extreme
of Wholly Avoiding Society.—Keeping in
the Middle of the Road.—Pleasures and Recreations
Taken Together.—Taking Time to Keep
Young.—Mistakes Which Some Husbands Make.—Wrecks
at the Beginning of Married Life.</p>
</div>
<p>To be a successful home-maker, the young
wife must be well and know how to conserve
her health. While the husband may be patience
itself yet an invalid in the home, and
that invalid the home-maker, is a serious
drawback to happiness.</p>
<p>Sir James Paget, in a lecture on national
health, says, “We want more ambition for
health. I should like to see a personal ambition
for health as keen as that for bravery,
for beauty, or for success in our athletic
games or field sports. I wish there were<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>
such an ambition for the most perfect national
health, as there is for national renown
in war, in art, or in commerce.”</p>
<p>“All women ought to know that invalidism,
speaking generally—there are, of course,
exceptions to this rule,—is a carefully cultivated
condition, quite as truly as the magnificent
condition of the prize-fighter, the
race-horse or the gymnast.”</p>
<p>It has become a rare thing, to-day, to find
a woman who counts herself <em>perfectly</em>
healthy. Is it possible that womankind has
become so susceptible to influence, that she
imagines herself ill when she is not? We
are more or less creatures of imitation, and
yield to the force of our surroundings without
a murmur. More than this, we must
admit that among the many a semi-invalidism
is considered genteel and attractive.
True, in the last few years we have made
some effort to rise above this, and a few have
succeeded.</p>
<p>Even Dame Fashion herself has started a
line of reforms that we trust will continue
popular, until they have become fixtures.
Short skirts, heavy shoes, natural waists are
sought by a fairly large number to-day; but
we dare not prophesy what would be the result
did another turn of the wheel of fashion<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>
decree otherwise. The agitation must be increased
until no backward step is possible
along these lines, and until our daughters
will desire comfort and healthfulness in dress,
rather than fashion, and its frequent result,
disease.</p>
<p>It is not enough that you as a wife, come
to your marriage with good health, but that
you do all in your power to conserve it in the
days and months thereafter. It is safe to
say, if from principle and wise judgment you
learn in the new relations during the first
year, how best to preserve and conserve your
strength, you will carry this knowledge and
practice with you through life.</p>
<p>First you must consider health a priceless
boon, before you lose it.</p>
<p>In the new relations fix your habits of exercise
and recreation carefully, and adhere
to them. Learn how to rest, before you
have reached the point nervously where rest
is impossible. Do not presume too much
upon your splendid health, and overdo daily.
Stop before you have reached the limit of
your strength.</p>
<p>If you have not learned about the necessity
of good ventilation in the home, learn it
at once, and let in daily the fresh, pure, life-giving
sunshine and fresh air, room-fulls of it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>
Do not be afraid of adding to the fuel bill,
for warm air charged with poison will heat
less easily than pure, cold air which invites
the warmth. Have plenty of fresh air in
your sleeping rooms, for it is quite necessary
to your rising clear-brained and sweet-tempered;
and never forget that you will be
largely responsible for the mental and moral
atmosphere of the home.</p>
<p>Be careful and guarded as to your society
demands, lest they steal your time and
strength, and you be unfitted for the real duties
of your home. Home <em>must</em> hereafter
<em>always</em> be to you first and foremost in your
heart and duty, if you fill your position truly.</p>
<p>Be not misled by the false philosophy of
the day, that tends in many instances to underrate
the home and its high blessedness in
the life of woman.</p>
<p>An Eastern proverb tells us that, “The
house rests upon the mother.” Just as soon
as you take upon yourself the vows that make
you wife, you become the mother of a home.
Whether children ever come to bless it or
not, you are its mother. Yet few women
appreciate the importance or power of this
position. With the grain of truth there is in
it, there is a great deal of wasteful talk about
woman, and her narrow sphere. Even<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span>
though she be tied to the home and the little
ones, yet her sphere is just as wide as she has
a mind to make it. Four walls cannot shut
in a large-hearted, loving woman. From the
home blessed by her presence goes out a
stream of mighty influence.</p>
<p>Put into a woman’s sphere all the depth
and sweetness, and wisdom, and comfort,
that the words, love, home, mother and children
comprehend, and dare to call her
sphere narrow if you will! To me it is so
wide that I have seen few women who make
themselves large enough to fill it, and these
few are not found among those who talk of
its narrowness and drudgery. The light of
the home, the beacon for the husband, the
teacher and guide for little feet, the sharer in
all the secrets and joys, the consoler in all
sorrows—how do the little annoyances and
patience-trying cares dwindle into insignificance,
when compared with these. What in
public life can win her from a life like this,
if she have it to do?</p>
<p>Thoughtlessly many young wives get into
the society drift before they know it, and
their best strength is wasted, and they are
laying the foundations for a young old age.
Nervously overwrought, hysteria comes in
with its train of multitudinous ills, and destroys<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span>
both her comfort and that of the
home.</p>
<p>On the other hand do not go to the opposite
extreme, which many young people in
the first days of their married happiness selfishly
fall into, namely, avoiding society altogether.
Once out of the pleasant, social
round of friends it is hard to regain your lost
footing, and you fret under it that your old
friends are so cold and indifferent.</p>
<p>“Keep to the middle of the road,” in
these things, and you will hold your youth
and friends, and make a home that it is good
to go into. As far as possible take your
pleasures and recreations together. Plan for
each other in this, and see how it keeps the
sweetness in life.</p>
<p>A fresh, bright, young looking neighbor
called on me a few days ago, and when, during
our conversation, she spoke of her age as
forty-two, I was amazed, and said: “I
should never have thought you were more
than thirty-five.”</p>
<p>“I have kept young,” she replied, “and I
know how. If there has ever been pleasure
taken in our family, it is always planned for
when I can enjoy it. In the evening when
the cares of the day are over, or when I can
get away from the cares at other times.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span>
She has five splendid children, and the promise
of a sixth. She does the larger part of
her home work, and yet takes time to keep
young.</p>
<p>It rests with you largely, young wives,
during the first years of your lives together to
fix the habits of our home in the duties of rest
and recreation. Have firm principles about
these matters and insist lovingly upon them.</p>
<p>And now a word upon a more delicate
question, but one which has much to do with
settling and perfecting all the others, or spoiling
your happiness almost irremediably.
Many a marriage which otherwise would have
been happy, is wrecked in the first days of
the honeymoon.</p>
<p>Frightened and timid, and filled with a
vague unrest at the mysteries of marriage
which await their revelation, you place your
destiny in the keeping of your husband, for
wedded happiness or wedded woe. Whispers
and covert suggestions of the unwise ones
about you, as they allude to the life you are
coming to, have given you this unrest, and it
remains for the husband, by his loving considerateness
to win you away from fearfulness
to a sure confidence in himself.</p>
<p>Many otherwise kind men have become
possessed with the thought that every right is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span>
theirs immediately; and in their inconsiderate,
rapacious passion, in the speedy consummation
of marriage, at whatever cost of
pain or wounded feeling on the part of her
whom they have taken to love and honor,
they well nigh wreck the after happiness
of both in the first days of their united lives.</p>
<p>Husband beware of the wrong of committing
a veritable outrage upon the person
of her whom God has given you as your companion,
and suffering ever after the stings of
remorse, that she never again can feel the
same respect and love for you that she could,
had you been more considerate of her feelings
and desires.</p>
<p>It will be difficult for her to be persuaded
that the animal nature does not control and
dominate your love for her, rather than the
higher instincts of the soul.</p>
<p>It would be far better for every prospective
bride if she suspects that the man who is to
be her husband has not been informed in
these things in a wholesome way, either herself,
or through the intervention of a friend
to put into his hands books that will teach
him wisely and well these things upon which
so much of his happiness depends.</p>
<p>I wish it were binding upon every young
man before he stands at the marriage altar,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>
to read carefully and painstakingly Dr.
Stall’s books for young men and young husbands.
With the earnest words and teachings
of these books ringing in their hearts
they could hardly live careless lives, or make
the mistakes which, in ignorance of the great
truths he inculcates, they might otherwise do.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_IV">CHAPTER IV.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE CHOICE OF A HUSBAND.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Higher Standards are Being set up in the Choice of
a Husband.—Should be Worthy of both Love and
Respect.—Love Likely to Idealize the Man.—The
Real Characteristics Necessary.—Deficiencies in
Character not to be Supplied After Marriage.—The
Right to Demand Purity.—Young Men Who
“Sow Wild Oats.”—Importance of Good Health.—Weaknesses
and Diseases Which Descend from
Parents to Children.—The Parents’ Part in Aiding
to a Wise Choice.—The Value of the Physician’s
Counsel.—One Capable of Supporting Wife and
Children.—A Dutiful Son Makes a Good Husband.—Essential
Requisites Enumerated.—The Father
Reproduced in His Children.—The Equivalents
Which the Wife Should bring to her Husband.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“Each generation of young men and women comes
to the formation of sex union with higher and higher
demands for a true marriage, with ever growing
needs for companionship. Each generation of men
and women need and ask more of each other. A
woman is no longer content to have a ‘kind husband’:
a man is no longer content to have a patient
Griselda.”—<span class="smcap">Charlotte Perkins Stetson.</span></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span></p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Who weds for love alone may not be wise:</div>
<div class="verse">Who weds without it angels must despise.</div>
<div class="verse">Love and respect together must combine,</div>
<div class="verse">To render marriage holy and divine:</div>
<div class="verse">And lack of either, sure as fate, destroys</div>
<div class="verse">Continuation of the nuptial joys,</div>
<div class="verse">And brings regret and gloomy discontent</div>
<div class="verse">To put to rout each tender sentiment.”</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse right">—<span class="smcap">Ella Wheeler Wilcox.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>What shall be the ruling characteristics of
the man I shall marry? is the question that
every young girl has answered long before
she may be conscious of it herself. As one
and another of her acquaintances marry, she
mentally concludes that this and that trait
which the new bridegroom possesses, would
not do at all were she the bride. And so
year after year the mental, moral, and physical
make-up of the man she is to choose,
grows into completeness, as this imaginary
being is shaped to her liking.</p>
<p>James Lane Allen says truly, “Ideals are
of two kinds. There are those that correspond
to our highest sense of perfection.
They express what we might be were life, the
world, ourselves, all different and better.
Such ideals are like lighthouses; but like
lighthouses are not made to live in, but for
beacons. Neither can we live in such ideals.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>
But there are ideals of another sort. It is
these that are to burn for us, not like lighthouses
in the distance, but like candles in
our hands to light each step of the way.”</p>
<p>When you began to love you began to
idealize the man you loved, and the danger
is with most women, that the ideal is so near
perfection that the reality brings to them a
rude and dangerous awakening. Dangerous,
because they allow the ideal to usurp the
place which belongs to the real, and because
all the way along they are comparing the real
in lover and husband, with the ideal.</p>
<p>Therefore, dear, remember that you are
human, and since the real, not the ideal
matches your human nature, expect the man
who chooses you, and whom you choose, to
be human also.</p>
<p>But there are certain characteristics, certain
soul-possessions, that every young
woman, if she herself be really fitted for
matrimony, has a right to expect; nay more,
to demand, of the man she chooses. Discovering
that these are lacking, let her not
cheat herself with the belief that she can,
after marriage, school him in these missing
qualities until they are fixed traits, for the
rule does not read that way. The time for
easy implantation of fixed characteristics is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>
gone, and whatever is now taken on, is apt
to set uneasily. What sins and gross faults
are coaxed down after marriage are very apt
to leave glaring scars, both in the husband’s
character and in the wife’s soul.</p>
<p>The wife has a right to expect that the
man she marries shall be as pure as herself,
and she has a right to know it. How can
she know it? If she cannot devise a way to
know this for a certainty, as she values her
happiness, let her take no step further. Better
by far, single blessedness, than marriage
with a moral leper.</p>
<p>That many of the young men who move
in so-called first-class society, are moral lepers,
is as true as lamentable. The complacency
with which so many parents have said,
with an assumed sigh, “Young men must
sow their wild oats,” has prepared the soil
for this waywardness to thrive in, and the
condoning which such sins receive when
found in young men, has cultivated the contagiousness
until its prevalence is alarming in
the extreme.</p>
<p>Let her beware that she choose not her
husband, through sentiment alone. Sentiment
is an unwise guide and always purblind.</p>
<p>Should health be a consideration in choosing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span>
a husband? Most assuredly. Were the
fortunes of none of the human family,
save yourselves, affected by your choice, it
would make less difference; but while with
this generation lies in large measure the
health and happiness of the next, the question
of health in matrimony is one of great
importance.</p>
<p>When it is no longer a disputed question
that consumption, cancer, scrofula, insanity,
and a host of lesser ills, are transmitted from
generation to generation, any thoughtful
young woman will consider her responsibility
in the matter in question. If you have the
spirit of the martyrs in you, and are prepared
to give your life to nursing your husband and
children, even this self-abnegation will not
atone for the wrong of thrusting upon the
world more degenerates.</p>
<p>You would need to trace the history of
only one such family through a few generations,
to note the mental, moral and physical
degeneration, which results from the union of
invalids. Even where but one of the parents
is unhealthy, it is a sad part of the law of
heredity, that the children more often follow
the weaker parent, rather than the stronger.</p>
<p>Dr. Guernsey, a well-known medical writer,
says: “Young men marrying with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>
slightest taint of syphilis in the blood, will
surely transmit the disease to their children.
Beside this, thousands of abortions transpire
every year from this cause alone, the
poison being so destructive as to kill the
child in-utero, before it is matured for birth;
and even if the child is born alive, it is liable
to break down with the most loathsome disorders,
and to die during dentition. The
few that survive this period are short-lived
and unhealthy so long as they do live.”</p>
<p>Knowing this, is it not true that too much
has been said derogatory to the parents having
part in choosing their children’s companions
in life? If in anything the parents’
opinion is of consequence, it is here where
the life happiness and usefulness of their
children are concerned. But the wisdom of
the parents must be used in the early days
of acquaintance, before the attachment has
blossomed into sentimental love. Then the
wisdom is interposed too late.</p>
<p>In discovering the character of your
daughter’s associates, the family physician
should be a valuable assistant. If he be a
friend, as well as physician, he will gladly
come to your aid.</p>
<p>“A striking indication of the spreading
uneasiness, in regard to marriage, is given in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span>
a bill recently introduced into the Ohio legislature,
whereby it was proposed that all candidates
for marital union should be required
to undergo examination, and marriage be forbidden
to such persons as shall be believed,
through actual condition or hereditary tendencies,
to be unfit for the function of parentage.”</p>
<p>Our daughters have a right to consider the
prospect of a comfortable support. The
man who has not already accumulated sufficient
to support two, or who has not in his
business relations a sure promise of such
ability, has no right to ask any woman to
join her fortunes with his. Love which will
grow and strengthen in poverty, is beautiful
in sentiment, but the poverty which nourishes
such love is not the poverty which one marries
into, but into which they are dragged by
circumstances beyond the husband’s control.</p>
<p>It has been well said, that the young man
who is a good son and brother will be a good
husband; therefore it would be wise to accept
an invitation to visit in the home of the
one who seeks you as his mate. Mark well
the consideration with which he treats his
mother and sisters, his father and brothers,
and judge whether it is assumed or natural.
If he is one who demands much waiting upon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>
at home, be sure he will expect the same
service of you; and if you are not prepared
to give it, or are not perfectly sure you can reform
him in this respect, call a halt, and give
frankly your reasons for saying no to his proposal.
The leisure for repentance is far more
wisely chosen before, than after marriage.</p>
<p>Finally in the choice of a husband, the
young woman should consider earnestly,
whether she would like this man to be reproduced
in her children. Whether he has
the tenderness, the good judgment, the wise
forethought, the patience, the forbearance,
the authority, the nobility of character which
will make him worthy the respect of wife and
children.</p>
<p>Honor, truth, courage, daring,—properly
restrained,—purity, strength, ability to plan
and achieve; authority, not stubborn, but
based upon ability and power; wise judgment,
and the unobtrusive use of it, are the
qualities which woman desires, and rightly in
the man she loves. While, in return she must
bring to him as crowning qualities, or she has
not dealt fairly, honor for honor, truth for
truth, courage for courage, endurance for
strength—in short faculty for faculty, not always
the same, but an equivalent.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_V">CHAPTER V.<br />
<span class="smaller">WHAT SHALL A YOUNG WIFE EXPECT TO BE
TO HER HUSBAND?</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Young Wife Should Seek to be Her Husband’s
Equal, but not His Counterpart.—The Recognized
Centre of the Home.—Woman’s True Greatness.—Man’s
Helpmeet.—Mrs. Gladstone’s Part in Her
Husband’s Greatness.—Should Attract Her Husband
from the Club to the Home.—Continuing to
be Attractive in Dress and Manners.—Should Accept
both Wifehood and Motherhood.—Should
Keep Pace with His Mental Growth.—Guarding
Against Improper Use of Literary Clubs, Reading
Circles, etc.—Solomon’s Picture of the Model
Young Wife.—A Converted Heathen’s Estimate
of His Christian Wife.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“This is woman’s mission, more important than
generation even—to renew the heart of man.—Protected
and nourished by man, she in turn nourishes
him with love.”—<span class="smcap">Jules Michelet.</span></p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“The primal marriage was founded on instinct—a
purely animal attribute. As humanity developed
and language grew, instinct became transformed into
love. To-day with the great proportion of the
human family, marriage has ceased to be a nature-guided<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>
compact between the sexes, and has become
a sordid money-soiled, commercial venture. Men
and women are taught from infancy, that one of the
chief aims of life is to marry ‘well,’ not ‘wisely.’”—<span class="smcap">John
R. Stephenson.</span></p>
</div>
<p>What shall the young wife expect to be to
her husband? First his equal, but not his
counterpart; his complement, not his synonym.
As long as the world stands, woman
must have her definite and specific work in
it. So long as the home exists woman will
be its recognized centre.</p>
<p>A true woman would hardly care to exchange
her delicate instinct, her deftness of
finger, her versatile mind—which enables
her to do the many little and great things in
our everyday home-life equally well—her
quick perception, her motherly all-aroundness,
her sweet womanly loveliness, for any
other marketable thing, or any other characteristic
or capability attained by culture or
training. A true woman is a woman, and
she does not desire to be anything else, unless
she can add it to her womanliness.</p>
<p>If by force of circumstances she be driven
out into the world to buy or sell, to scheme
or plan for self or family support, she need
not lose her womanly tenderness and attractiveness,
nor need she barter these for a right<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>
to stand in any position which she can fill
well and with propriety.</p>
<p>She must needs, as she contemplates marriage,
expect to be to the man she chooses,
all that he lacks to make the two-in-one life
a completed whole. If she have not the
courage to attempt, and the purpose to accomplish
this, she has no business to consider
for a moment the marriage proposition.
While similarity of tastes has much to do
with happy mating, complementary accomplishments
have also a large share in the true
union of two lives.</p>
<p>The woman must not only be desirous of
knowing about her husband’s business, but
should also seek to be capable of understanding
and counselling in it. In perplexity, in
trial, in prosperity, she should stand by his
side, to advise, to comfort, to rejoice with
him.</p>
<p>There is a great deal of suggestiveness
and significance in the estimate the Maker
put upon the first wife created; namely,
“an helpmeet for him,” that is, “suitable
for him.” Nothing less than this should
every woman be, if she is to fulfill the highest
purpose of marriage.</p>
<p>Some one has said, “The conspicuous fact
in Mrs. Gladstone’s life, is that she was the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>
helper and fellow-worker with her husband.
What he did was largely possible because she
made it so. She not merely lightened his
cares; she removed them. She was the first
and greatest of those women, who in our
times have identified their own career and
fame with those of their husband’s. She
showed that no career of the modern woman
is more important than that of wifehood,
motherhood, and the builder of a home:
yet she proved that public life and civic
service, can be made sweet and strong, only
as the influence of a noble woman is permeating
its spirit. Mr. Gladstone’s public
life was celebrated for its purity and lofty
quality, and in Mrs. Gladstone’s devotion
and affection we can see the secret of this.”</p>
<p>Every young wife should be a good home-maker.
An Eastern proverb says: “The
wife is the household.” And the Japanese
say, “The house rests upon the mother.”
O woman! guard your treasure sacredly,
this most priceless marriage gift, the title
and blessing of home-keeper. She should
make the home so attractive that no club can
win him away from it in his leisure hours.
She should make it, not only a haven of rest
for him, but a place for delightful entertainment
of his friends at all suitable times.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>
However, the thoughtful husband will not invite
his friends to his home, as a rule, without
a word sent to his wife, that she may
make any little needed preparation, and so
be her happiest self with the guests.</p>
<p>I remember the advice an aged minister
gave to a bride on her wedding day. “My
dear, be always so hospitable that no guest
shall leave your home with other than feelings
of delight.” She followed this advice
to the letter and many times when busy with
the cares of the home, she was interrupted
by the advent of an unexpected guest, I have
watched with interest the hearty welcome she
gave them, and the real gladness she put
into their lives by her true hospitality.</p>
<p>The young wife should take not less, but
more pains to make herself as attractive after
as before marriage. A soiled ribbon, an untidy
toilet, may seem trifling things, but they
tell much of the esteem in which she holds
her husband and her home. Not less but
more care is needed to retain the love and
respect of the man of her choice, than to
win it. The pretty dress, the color of the
ribbon, the manner of dressing the hair, are
not affected, but chosen deliberately because
she knows they are pleasing to him.</p>
<p>She should be the willing mother of his<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>
children. Marriage comprehends not only
wifehood, but motherhood. To-day this is
hardly believed by the many, and we may
well mourn it as fatal, not only to the future
of the American race, but to the best and
highest interests of the home.</p>
<p>She should seek to keep pace with him in
his mental growth, and never for a moment
think that she is advancing his highest interests
when she is denying herself that which
would contribute to her development in order
that he may advance. The marriage
contract is not so one-sided a matter as this.
Everything is for the interests of both, not
one alone. There is something heroically
pathetic in the story of Nasby’s <cite>Hannah
Jane</cite>, but something perniciously unjust
and blameworthy as well. Many a divorce
has come from such blind neglect of self,
that the interests of the husband may be advanced.
“Incompatibility,” is the plea, a
word full of tears, when discovered after
years of married life.</p>
<p>The thoughtful husband will never allow
such self-abnegation on the part of the wife.
What he reads, she should read; and if she
have not the time, he should read it aloud,
while her hands are busy with the household
cares. I remember well hearing Mrs. Livermore<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>
say, that she had her husband to thank
for much of her mental growth, and varied
information. “He was determined,” she
said, “that I should read everything that he
read; and many times in our little parsonage
in a western state, when I was busied about
the work of the home, he would come out
into the kitchen, heated as hot as the fiery
furnace, and read to me the book he was enjoying.”</p>
<p>In the line of intellectual development
there is a danger that must be guarded
against. In this day of literary clubs and
reading circles, the ambition to excel and keep
pace with other women in mental culture,
will prove a snare if not guarded against.</p>
<p>All that the wife can do in outside work,
while not neglecting the higher duties of
home and heart, will only freshen and
brighten her for companionship, and give her
glimpses, yes, extended views, of the world
and its doings, that will serve to broaden her
horizon, and bring her in closer touch with
her husband in his wrestlings with the affairs
of life.</p>
<p>The words of the wise man are not obsolete,
and are as timely to-day as when written.
“Who can find a virtuous woman?
for her price is far above rubies. The heart<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>
of her husband doth safely trust in her, so
that he shall have no need of spoil. She
will do him good and not evil all the days of
her life. Strength and honor are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in
her tongue is the law of kindness; she looketh
to the ways of her household, and eateth
not the bread of idleness. Her children
arise up and call her blessed, her husband
also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters
have done virtuously, but thou excelleth
them all.”</p>
<p>A converted heathen said of his wife, “I
do thank God for my Christian wife. She
has been such a help to me. I nearly always
take her advice. In fact I may just as
well tell you that I always take it, she is so
wise.”</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_VI">CHAPTER VI.<br />
<span class="smaller">TROUSSEAU AND WEDDING PRESENTS.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Husband and Wife Ruined before Their “Crane is
Hung.”—The Foolish and Ruinous Display at
Weddings.—An Illustration Given.—How Wedding
Presents Lead to Debt and Unhappiness.—Living
Does not Need much Machinery.—Mistake
of Copying after People of Large Wealth.—Wise
Choice of Furniture.—The best Adornments
for the Home.—The Trousseaux of our Foremothers.—The
Need of Simplicity.—Artificialities
That make a Veil between our Souls and God.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“Be not vain, oh my soul, and suffer not the din
of thy vanity to deafen the ears of thy heart.”—<span class="smcap">Augustine.</span></p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“It is possible so to complicate the machinery of
living that the very life itself is crushed among the
wheels. We may wrap ourselves so in comfort until
our breath is smothered in the folds. The man
whose wants are few is the man most likely to be
found carrying a light heart.”—<span class="smcap">W. R. Huntington.</span></p>
</div>
<p>Many young married people are ruined
before their “crane is hung.” Ruined
through the false vanity engendered by the
foolish display made in their attempt to follow<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>
the fashion in the preparations for the
wedding, and their start in life.</p>
<p>This could not be better illustrated than
by an article in <cite>The Ladies’ Home Journal</cite>,
which I quote in full. While this does not
typify all grades of society, yet the same
spirit of show and vanity permeates all.</p>
<p>“A little woman who lives in one of the
interminable rows of cheap, turreted, showy
houses, came to me a few days ago, pale with
anxiety. ‘Kitty,’ she said, ‘is going to be
married to young Holt, who is a salesman in
one of the department stores, and I’m sure I
don’t know how we are to raise money for a
wedding breakfast and a full choir.’</p>
<p>“Kitty’s father is also a salesman on thirty
dollars a week, and there are four other girls.
Oh, the scrimping and saving that have gone
on in that house to turn out Kitty and her
sisters fashionably clothed. The cheap cuts
of meat, the rancid butter, the beds without
blankets, the stoves without coal, and the unpaid
creditors, scowling out of every shop in
the neighborhood when the old man passes
by. He toils six days every week, early and
late without complaining, and his wife spends
his wages for, as she thinks, the best interests
of his girls.</p>
<p>“‘White satin, even the sleaziest, has gone<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>
up to a frightful price,’ she moaned, ‘and I
dare not count what the wedding breakfast
will cost.’</p>
<p>“When I asked why there must be a wedding
breakfast and a full choir, she said, that
every bride in their set had had both this
summer, and what would the Holts think if
Kitty came creeping like a pauper into their
family? ‘The Holts,’ she assured me, ‘are
high-flyers. No indeed: there shall be nothing
half cut in any way about Kitty’s wedding.’</p>
<p>“The wedding breakfast is served and
Kitty, (or Kathryn as she calls herself), is
married in the white satin. She begins life
in a showy, tiny house, chiefly furnished
with her wedding presents. She has no comfortable
underclothing or bedding, and not a
dollar in her pocket. But Kathryn has her
‘receiving days,’ and is careful to order her
cakes and café frappé from the caterer who is
patronized by the millionaire who employs
her husband.”</p>
<p>Not what would we like, and what can we
afford? but, “What do other people do, and
what would they think did we do otherwise?”—is
the sentiment which controls the
preparation of the young people, in all grades
of society, in their beginning life together.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>
How refreshing to find occasionally a father
and mother who care little what “they say,”
and who equip their daughters as becomes
their station in life, and their means, regardless
of what others about them are doing.</p>
<p>Wedding presents are a happy reminder
of a happy occasion, but they often prove a
snare in the demand for surroundings that are
beyond the means of the recipients. “These
are such very pretty and nice things that we
really must have pretty things to go with
them,” is the thought of the young people,
and in setting up much more is spent than
they can afford, and they are handicapped
by debt, and harassed by worry at the outset;
and what should be the happiest and
most care-free time of their life is spoiled by
this hydra-headed intruder, debt.</p>
<p>It is but a repetition of the old story of the
good woman, who must have a new pair of
andirons. When they were set up in the
best room in all their shiny newness, a new
carpet was a thing of necessity. This was
followed by new chairs to keep countenance
with the carpet; then curtains, walls and all
must be transformed and little wonder that
the good man was appalled at the cost of one
pair of inoffensive andirons.</p>
<p>“Living does not really need so much machinery,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>
is a trite and true sentiment. Oh
for a blessed contentment that will make us
happy with that which we can with propriety
have.</p>
<p>The trouble begins, but does not end,
with the trousseau of the bride. If the
means of both parties are moderate, why attempt
to copy the style and quantity of those
who are not obliged to count their dollars?
A simple substantial outfit, with nothing that
shall not be useful, and suited to the surroundings
and station of the bride and
groom, is an evidence of good sense and
commendable taste.</p>
<p>Some one has said wisely, “There are no
real distinctions among us, and there cannot
be unless we change our republic into a
monarchy. Rank is a real possession of the
Englishmen, but we do not own it and never
did, and in trying to set up a sham, pinchbeck
imitation of it, we are losing the solid
strength and repose and wealth out of our
lives.”</p>
<p>When the bridal trousseau is wisely chosen,
the home will be furnished with like taste
and wisdom. The furniture that is really
needed, and that of the best, dresses the
house far more elegantly than can a vulgar
profusion of showy articles. Tinsel bric-a-brac,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span>
cheap cushions and tidies and bed-coverings
proclaim the uncultured taste of
the home-keeper. Strong honest denim is far
more elegant than sleazy satin for sofa pillows,
and has this virtue, that it can be easily
made as good as new by washing. No hangings
at all are better than cheap hangings at
windows and doors, unless they are of an
honest cheapness that soap and water will
not spoil, but make as good as new.</p>
<p>Our foremothers came to their wedding
day supplied with chests filled with plain
durable linen, of their own weaving and
fashioning, bed-linen and quilts and spreads
in substantial profusion; but with little in
the line of showy outside dress; and their
whole after lives were but the expression of
the wisdom and good judgment of their beginning.</p>
<p>“The crying need of many of us to-day,
is not for more, but less. We have too
much, so that our lives are robbed of all
simplicity. We are choked by our possessions,
as the Roman maiden by the golden
bracelets for which she betrayed the city.</p>
<p>“Our artificialities make a veil between
our souls and God. We have not mastered
them, but they have mastered us.”</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_VII">CHAPTER VII.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE MARITAL RELATIONS.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Subject Approached With Reluctance.—The
Marital State Should be the Most Sacred of Sanctuaries.—Wrongly
Interpreted it is the Abode of
Darkness and Sin.—Its Influence for Good or Evil
upon Character.—Responsibility of Mothers for
the Unhappy Lives of Their Daughters.—Commercial
Marriages.—Marriage as it Should be.—The
Husband’s Danger from “Aggressiveness.”—The
Wife Should not Provoke the Wrongs She
Suffers.—Marital Modesty.—Parenthood the Justification
of the Marital Act.—Reproduction the
Primal Purpose.—Harmony of Purpose and Life.—Love’s
Highest Plane.—The Value of Continence.—The
Right and Wrong of Marriage.—The
Relation During Gestation.—Effects of Relation
During Gestation Illustrated.—The Wrongdoings
of Good Men.—The Fruits of Ignorance.—The
Better Day Coming.</p>
</div>
<p>We approach this chapter with a degree
of reluctance, because of the varying opinions
entertained by many good people, and because
of the false notions which have crept
into the conception of its responsibilities, its
duties, its privileges, its rights, and its wrongs.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span></p>
<p>When the marital state is entered in the
spirit of Him who ordained it, no sanctuary
is more sacred; when entered in the misconception
of many men and women of
modern times, no relation is more of the
abode of darkness and sin.</p>
<p>Rightly interpreted, and its privileges not
abused, its influence upon the individual and
united lives, is second to none for the development
of strong noble character. Wrongly
interpreted, and its liberties used as a license
for unbridled desire, while the great object
for which the relation was instituted is not
only not recognized, but by every means
avoided and abused, it becomes a snare and
degradation to the nobler instincts and aspirations,
and lets in a legion of evil spirits
which lead farther and farther away from
truth and righteousness.</p>
<p>When the marriage state is entered with
the fixed determination to avoid parenthood,
while giving rein to lust, can we wonder at
the looseness of character developed and the
deadening of conscience to all sin? And
what have been the causes which have led
up to this state of things? False notions of
life, low ideas of happiness, lack of individuality
and self-assertion where principle is
concerned, leaving God out of the question<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>
of marriage, and vain, untaught mothers—these
are the influences which have caused
this state of things.</p>
<p>A late writer of a magazine article has
said “If the recording angel is still keeping
account of human things, there are crimes
going on record constantly against women,
and among the blackest of these are the
millions of sins chalked down against mothers
who are guilty of teaching this degrading
error to their daughters, that the gewgaws of
fashion, the luxury of a city home, is the
price for their daughter’s body, soul, honor,
health and happiness. Alas! the only happiness
these modern girls, raised for the matrimonial
market, know, is found in the few
years of innocence while they are still in the
nursery. And the remedy for this evil, is
there none? There is none in law or virtue,
for those who have sold their womanhood
for a mess of pottage. But the young may
be spared. Teach your daughters, mothers,
that happiness and health for themselves, and
strong bodies for their offspring, are what
should be dearest to a woman; that they are
more to be valued than all the riches of Golconda;
that marriage should be guided by
nature, not commercialism. And, young
women, be true to yourselves. Seek happiness<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>
and joy where they may be found. Be
true to yourself, and loyal to your own
womanhood. Don’t believe that love is old-fashioned
or obsolete. It is eternal. It is
nature’s finger pointing the way to marriage
that will always be happy.”</p>
<p>No life can be imagined more miserable,
when the first glamour is worn off, no matter
how much of wealth and position and social
standing is thrown in, than a loveless marriage.
Every responsibility becomes a hard
fact, every duty an unrequited labor, every
privilege, at least to one of the contracting
parties, an unwelcome and nauseous gratification,
life itself a burden.</p>
<p>How different when love smooths the
way, and finds excuse for every trifling inconsistency;
when sorrows are shared, not
doubled, when rights are respected, when
home means wife, husband, children, happiness,
with God over all.</p>
<p>But we will put aside all the sad pictures
and think of marriage as it should be, and
then measure its responsibilities. Hitherto
you have, since your majority, in large measure
sought your own pleasure; now you
have the pleasure of another to seek; and
you do it gladly. Not what is best for you
alone, but what is best for you two united in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>
making a home, in adding to the strength of
both in the united life.</p>
<p>Much has been said, in these later days,
derogatory to the clause in our older marriage
ceremonies which promises obedience.
In true marriages there is no thought of obedience
or disobedience. Each seeks willingly
the opinions and wishes of the other, and, so
far as possible and best, follows them; but
there must be no arbitrary wilfulness on the
part of either, and each must acknowledge
the individuality of the other and respect the
differences of opinion. A ready yielding of
trifling differences is a small price to pay for
conjugal harmony, and every time it is done
it adds loveliness to the one who yields.</p>
<p>In a late number of <cite>The Ladies’ Home
Journal</cite>, Mrs. Burton Kingsland says, “A
readiness to give up in little things is the
most tactful appeal possible for a return of
courtesy, at other times when the matter may
be of importance to us. It is a high attainment
in politeness to allow others to be mistaken.
Let a trifling misstatement pass
unnoticed where no principle is involved,
and when a mistake is past remedy, it is best
to let the subject drop. The argument of
the ‘I told you so’ character is always
quite superfluous.”</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p>
<p>In no relation of life is self-control so
needed, in no relation can it be so subservient
to our higher nature.</p>
<p>In the aggressive part of the human family,—aggressive
in these relations,—there is
great danger of allowing the lower nature to
dominate the higher. Passion, when master,
overrides all other considerations, and the
selfishness, which is so dangerous a part of
human nature, sees but one thing,—the accomplishment
of desire. No thought of the
possible results hinders him, and while nothing
is hazarded on his part, everything on
hers—even this for the moment is forgotten;
and afterward he may well wonder how his
better self was so lost to the tender sympathetic
love and consideration in which he
should always hold her.</p>
<p>Be guarded, O husband! It is woman’s
nature to forgive, and when she loves, this
impetuosity of passion uncontrolled, can be
many times forgiven. Aye, even when too
frequent maternity is thrust upon her; but
there comes a time when love and forgiveness
have reached their limit, and love struggles
vainly to rise above disgust and loathing,
but it can never again attain to anything
but tolerance.</p>
<p>But the wife is not always guiltless, when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>
this sad state of things has resulted, in what
should have been a happy married life.
While the husband is the aggressive one, yet
she may, by many little carelessnesses, and
thoughtless acts, invite attentions which she
afterward repels. The womanly modesty
which characterized her girlhood, should always
be preserved and observed; and this
innate dignity, this strongly asserted individuality,
will tide them gloriously over many
hard places.</p>
<p>The custom in many English homes of
each having a room, which is peculiarly
one’s own, may seem to our freedom-loving
natures, a cold custom; but is not this better
when a proper self-control seems difficult,
than a freedom which degenerates into license?
True, the door between these two
rooms should seldom be shut, but the fact
that there are two rooms relieves of many
temptations, and prevents the familiarity,
which even in married life, breeds contempt.</p>
<p>There is a wise Eastern proverb which fits
very beautifully here. “To satisfy the appetite
is not always good. This will the
beasts do whenever they find provender.
Man alone can say to himself, thou shalt fast,
because I have willed it. Appetite thus conquered,
maketh man king over beasts; thus<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span>
is he set apart from them, and so do his
thoughts soar above the earth, even unto the
region of the heavens.”</p>
<p>Every young person should be taught before
marriage, that the closest conjugal relation
should never be allowed without a <em>willingness</em>
on the part of both that pregnancy
should follow. Of course this does <em>not</em> always
follow; but allowed with the fear, the
dread, the unwillingness that it may result, it
becomes a positive sin. This may seem
strong meat, which almost borders on fanaticism,
to some; but we are sure when it is
considered in the light of the primal object
of the marriage relation, it will not be
thought fanatical. The very fact that conception
may result at any time, proves that
the conjugal relation was not instituted primarily
for the gratification of the lower
nature, but for procreation.</p>
<p>I trust I will not be misunderstood, in my
statements upon this subject, for in writing
upon so delicate a theme as this it is very
difficult to make one’s self understood by all.
If all will read <em>carefully</em> the statement I have
just made, I think they will have no great
difficulty in seeing the ground I take, and
which I believe is held by all fair-minded
people, namely: That while God ordained<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span>
the marriage relation primarily, for the purpose
of the perpetuity of the human race, as
his first command to the pair in Eden would
indicate, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and
replenish the earth.” Yet this is to be taken
with all that is comprehended in the terms,
home, husband, and wife.</p>
<p>Therefore when I say, that every young
person should be taught before marriage,
that the closest conjugal relation should never
be allowed, without a willingness on the part
of both that pregnancy should follow, I mean
simply what I hope I shall make clear
throughout my book; that there shall be no
pandering to sexual indulgence, while there
is unwillingness to bear as many children, as
a proper manly and womanly Christian temperance
in these things will allow.</p>
<p>To fix an absolute rule of practice in these
things, and consider it binding upon all,
would be going out of my province, and the
province of this book. In this, each pair
must be judges for themselves: but there needs
must be, behind all their thoughts upon this
subject, right conceptions upon the holy relation
they have entered into.</p>
<p>With the above rule fixed, no other limitations,
or restrictions need be made. Everything
will adjust itself to this rule, and harmony<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>
and mutual respect will be engendered.</p>
<p>Fix also the fact that the marriage relation
is not one of license, but of liberty—liberty
for both equally. Not liberty for one, and
the grossest bondage for the other. Nowhere
does the wife’s opinion deserve greater respect
and tolerance than here. Nowhere
should her negative be so willingly accepted.</p>
<p>There is a higher plane of loving and living
than the sexual nature furnishes. This
has, we doubt not, been proven to most
married people during those weeks and
months when continence has been necessary.
Then why should this overmaster other and
higher considerations?</p>
<p>That many marriages are little better than
licensed prostitution, seems a hard thing to
say; but when the lower nature is petted and
indulged at the expense of the higher, it is a
just thing to say, however harsh it may seem.
In such cases the higher nature becomes
more and more dwarfed, the animal nature
more and more dominant. Let the husband
learn the sweetness of conquest, in the love
he bears his wife, in the tender consideration
for her comfort and wishes.</p>
<p>There is a vast amount of vital force used
in the production and expenditure of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span>
seminal fluid. Wasted as the incontinence
of so many lives allows it to be, and prostituted
to the simple gratification of fleshly desire,
it weakens and depraves. Conserved
as legitimate control demands it to be, it adds
so much, and more to the mental and moral
force of the man, because it lifts him to a
higher plane of being, and gives to the
mental and moral the vital force otherwise
wasted.</p>
<p>Rightly conceived and lived, the marriage
relation rounds out and completes character
as nothing else can. It gives ample room
for the cultivation of all the gifts and graces,
it discourages selfishness, it mellows and
softens and beautifies the individual, and
gives a broader outlook on life. Wrongly
conceived and lived, its results are the opposite.
It narrows the life and takes all the
sweetness out of it. And the products of
loveless marriages, what of them? How can
the children of such parents be other than
disinherited from birth? Out of their lives
has gone the sweetness and tender loveliness
that comes of true mating, true living.</p>
<p>The world is full of dwarfed minds and
bodies, dwarfed by their loveless and unwilling
conception; paranoiacs, cranks, feeble-minded,
idiotic, epileptic, diseased children,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span>
for whom their parents are in great measure
responsible. And this state of things will
obtain just as long as marriage is made a
marketable thing, and not the heart union of
two lives.</p>
<p>I am well aware that many writers do not
agree with me in these stronger sentiments,
but studying the question in the light of creative
purpose I feel certain the arguments in
favor of unbridled license in these things cannot
be justified.</p>
<p>Further, there are times when by common
consent there should be no amorous approaches
made to the wife, and when none
should be invited. Study the question as I
will, I can see no law or reason which justifies
the husband in approaching the wife for
the purpose of sexual gratification, at any
time during pregnancy. It cannot but be a
drain upon the strength of the wife, and certainly
can have no wholesome influence upon
the unborn child, and assuredly not upon the
love and respect which the wife feels for the
husband.</p>
<p>I cannot forbear quoting an “illustrative
case” entire, from Dr. Holbrook’s book entitled,
Stirpiculture: “How great is the influence
on unborn offspring of the mother’s
mental condition, as well as the effect over<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>
them of pleasant surroundings, is shown by
the following case. A young girl attracted
attention by her beauty and by the superiority
of the type she exhibited over that of either
of her parents, and on her mother being
spoken to on the subject she remarked: ‘In
my early married life my husband and I
learned how to live in holy relations, after
God’s ordinance. My husband lovingly consented
to let me live apart from him during
the time I carried this little daughter under
my heart, and also while I was nursing her.
These were the happiest days of my life.
Every day before my child was born, I could
have hugged myself with delight at the prospect
of becoming a mother. My husband
and I were never so tenderly, so harmoniously,
or so happily related to each other, and I
never loved him more deeply than during
those blessed months. I was surrounded by
all beautiful things, and one picture of a
lovely face was especially in my thought.
My daughter looks more like that picture
than she does like either of us. From the
time she was born she was like an exquisite
rosebud—the flower of pure, sanctified, happy
love. She never cried at night, was never
fretful or nervous, but was all smiles and
winning baby ways, filling our hearts and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>
home with perpetual gladness. To this day,
and she is now fourteen years old, I have
never had the slightest difficulty in bringing
her up. She turns naturally to the right, and
I never knew her to be cross or impatient or
hard to manage. She has given me only
comfort; and I realize from an experience of
just the opposite nature that the reason of all
this is because my little girl had her birthright.’”</p>
<p>The future experience of this lady was however
of a very different nature. She added:
“A few years later I was again about to become
a mother, but with what different feelings!
My husband had become contaminated
with the popular idea that even more
frequent relations were permissible during
pregnancy. I was powerless against this
wicked sophistry, and was obliged to yield to
his constant desires. But how I suffered and
cried; how wretched I was; how nervous
and almost despairing. Worst of all, I felt
my love and trusting faith turning to dread
and repulsion.</p>
<p>“My little boy, on whom my husband set
high hopes, was born after nine of the most
unhappy, distressing months of my life, a
sickly, nervous, fretting child—myself in
miniature—and after five years of life that<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>
was predestined by all the circumstances to
be just what it was, after giving us only anxiety
and care, he died, leaving us sadder and
wiser. I have demonstrated to my own
abundant satisfaction that there is but one
right, God-given way to beget and rear children,
and I know that I am only one of many
who can corroborate this testimony.”</p>
<p>Again Dr. Holbrook says: “We have
evidence among primitive people that they
understand the necessity of limiting offspring,
and practice it in a perfectly healthful way.
The natives in Uganda, a region in Central
Africa, offer an illustration: ‘The women
rarely have more than two or three children;
the practice being that when a woman has
borne a child she is to live apart from her
husband for two years, at which age children
are weaned.’ Seaman, speaking of the
Fijians, says: ‘After childbirth, husband
and wife keep apart three and even four
years, so that no other baby may interfere
with the time considered necessary for suckling
children.’”</p>
<p>It occasionally happens that the wife during
pregnancy is troubled with a passion far
beyond what she has ever experienced at any
other time. This in every instance is due to
some unnatural condition, and should be considered<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>
a disease, and for it the physician
should be consulted.</p>
<p>The husband rightly rejoices in the name
of protector of his wife, and how quick is he
to resent any slight or fancied insult which
may be offered her. Nowhere can he show
more loyally his love and respect for her,
than in the tender appreciation which he
shows her in the control of her own person.
Nay, more than yielding simply to her
wishes, he should be the leader in these
things if necessary, and guide her into the
stronger way.</p>
<p>The sedentary life of many men renders
them a prey to the gratification of their lower
natures. To all such men exercise becomes
a religious duty, and should be practiced
most persistently until their physical natures
are well tired, and the sexual nature will not
then dominate the finer and nobler instincts
of their being.</p>
<p>I was pained by the remark of a cultured
lady, when speaking of continence in the
married life, a few days ago in my office.
She said: “Does it not seem a strange
thing, doctor, that among those who seem
most careless in these things, are many
ministers and other good men from whom we
should expect higher and nobler living.” I<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>
could but assent to this, for doctors, unfortunately
for their comfort, listen to many confessions
of sadness and unrighteousness in
marital relations, and some of them come from
sources which the world would little dream of.</p>
<p>The lady added: “I have an intimate
friend, a few years younger than myself, who
married a minister, and one who stands high
in the denomination of which he is a member.
They have had seven children, almost as
fast as it is possible to have them, and the
wife is a broken-down woman, spiritless and
unhappy, a common drudge at an age when
she should be full of life and joy, were things
as they should be. One remark shows the
feeling which this state of affairs has engendered.
When I asked her why her husband
allowed such a state of things to exist, she
said, ‘He doesn’t care,’ and she said it
with such a dispirited and utterly discouraged
air that my heart ached for her.”</p>
<p>When will a brighter day dawn for woman
and for man in these things? When our
young people are trained to see these great
questions in the light of God’s purposes and
have strength of character sufficient to make
them conquerors over the false opinions of
the world, the temptations of the flesh, and
the wiles of the devil.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span></p>
<p>Ignorance and misconception are at the
bottom of all that is wrong in the marital
relation. No loving husband would for a
moment allow himself to yield to the demands
of his lower nature did he consider
and appreciate rightly all that it meant to his
wife, his unborn children and to the generations
to come.</p>
<p>There is such an incompatibility in the life
of the man of high and noble instincts, of
generous nature, and lofty aspirations, in so
pandering to the lustful, so making provisions
for the flesh, and at such terrible cost to the
one whom he should and does hold most
dear!</p>
<p>Let us pray and work that a brighter day
may dawn speedily, when the marital relation
shall be freed from all that is gross and sensual,
and shall be the synonym for purity,
truth, and righteousness.</p>
<p>In the Greek, the word for man—and this
is the generic term, comprehending woman—means
a being with his face turned upward.
When we are looking upward our lives will
be all the time tending upward, and we shall
draw our inspiration from Him who lives
above and ever leads His children into paths
of truth and purity.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_VIII">CHAPTER VIII.<br />
<span class="smaller">PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Motherhood the Glory of Womanhood.—Maternity
Natural and Productive of Health.—Prevalence
of Knowledge of Methods Used to Prevent Conception.—Mothers
Should Prepare Their Daughters
for Maternity.—Motherhood the Sanction for
Wifehood.—Effect of Fixed Habits of Mother
upon Offspring.—Adjustment of Clothing to Expectant
Motherhood.—Importance of Proper Exercise.—The
Sitz Bath.—Threatened Miscarriages.—Effects
of Environment upon the Unborn.—Why
Italian Children Resemble the Madonnas.—The
Child the Expression of the Mother’s Thoughts.—The
Five Stages of Prenatal Culture Stated and
Illustrated.—The Mother of the Wesleys.—The
Child the Heir and Expression of the Mother’s
Thought and Life.</p>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse indent10">“Oh in woman how</div>
<div class="verse">Mighty is the love of offspring: ere</div>
<div class="verse">Unto her wandering, untaught mind, unfolds</div>
<div class="verse">The mystery that is half divine, half human,</div>
<div class="verse">Of life, of birth, the love of unborn souls</div>
<div class="verse">Within her, and the mother yearning creeps</div>
<div class="verse">Through her warm heart, and stirs its hidden deeps</div>
<div class="verse">And grows and strengthens with each riper year.”</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse right">—<span class="smcap">Ella Wheeler Wilcox.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span></p>
<p>“Motherhood is not a remote contingency,
but the common duty and the common
glory of womanhood.”</p>
<p>“They should know that the less children
and the more servants in the home, the less
health and happiness, other things being
equal. It is natural for women to bear children,
and unnatural to evade this function;
the everlastingly recurrent congestion of the
generative organs, month after month, year
in and year out, without the rest of generation,
promotes a true disease of these organs,
and favors all the various growths which
afflict so large a proportion of our women.”</p>
<p>With the prevailing ignorance, which has
been the heritage of our daughters for so
many generations, no thought of preparation
for motherhood has exercised them. On the
other hand, much the larger majority of our
young women come to the marriage altar, far
better informed in the methods of preventing
conception, or producing abortion after conception
has really taken place, than of any
proper preparation for motherhood. Who
are their teachers? Many who should blush
with shame that they lend their influence to
this nefarious business; this education in invalidism,
murder and suicide. Many, who
should be the teachers in truth and purity.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span>
Mothers, mothers-in-law, sisters, aunts,
“friends,” young matrons, who have become
adepts in the business, and whose punishment
has not yet overtaken them—all these, and
many more. Christians? Yes, professing
Christians; but who would hardly like to
have their advice in these things written
along side of their confession of faith in the
records of the church. They should remember
that it is written in a larger book than
that of a church, and written so large that all
the world can read it by and by.</p>
<p>In the first steps of preparation for motherhood,
the mother should be the teacher.
That so few mothers are capable of teaching
their daughters as they should, emphasizes
the need of right teaching along these lines,
and the necessity of plain talks with mothers
and daughters.</p>
<p>From a recent paper I clipped the following:
“There is a story going the rounds,
that the last convention of the National
Mothers’ Congress, was not entirely successful,
owing to the fact, that only about one
out of every ten delegates was even married.
Since the object of the organization is the
better care, discipline and rearing of the
young, it has been determined that every
delegate to the convention next month, must<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span>
show her right to be there. While many unmarried
women are probably more capable
of rearing children than many who are trying
to, no exceptions will be made to the
rule of making the organization exclusively
for mothers and wives.”</p>
<p>To my mind the writer of this criticism
has shown far less wisdom than those who
appointed as delegates, unmarried women.
What better preparation for motherhood,
than listening to the wise discussions relative
to the care and training of children? Hence
the convention is conserving the wisest purpose
when it admits as delegates the young
and unmarried women. Had I the appointing
power I would make at least half the delegates
from this class.</p>
<p>All the way from childhood onward, the
wise mother will be instilling truths into the
minds of her daughters, that will be along
the line of preparation for motherhood. The
early teaching of truth, the early knowledge
of self and sex relations, the right estimate of
marriage, all these lessons are preparing the
way for the later knowledge that precedes
motherhood.</p>
<p>From the wedding day, the young matron
should shape her life to the probable and desired
contingency of conception and maternity.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>
Otherwise she has no right or title to
wifehood.</p>
<p>While it has been proven that transient
states of the parents have far less influence
upon the offspring, than fixed habits of mind,
yet much can be done by way of amending
defects, and fixing admirable and desired
traits in character, which before had been
transient, and thus influencing with greater
power the minds of the offspring.</p>
<p>Let this be always remembered that the
stronger and more beautiful the mother becomes,
the more lovely will be her children.
Soul-gardeners should all mothers be in a
peculiar sense, that the children which shall
be given her, may have good soil in which to
generate and grow during antenatal life.</p>
<p>No sacrifice should be considered too
great for her to make, that this end may be
conserved. As soon as she discovers herself
pregnant, she should modify her clothing to
the comfort and healthfulness of herself and
baby. If she have already learned how to
dress healthfully, she will need to make few
changes in the early months. No weight of
clothing should be allowed to rest upon the
hips; everything must be supported from the
shoulders. The skirt and waist can be fashioned
in one garment, and so made that they<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>
can be let out to accommodate themselves to
the growing need. The dainty and pretty
maternity gowns are everything that can be
desired, and can be so diversified that they
meet all the wants of taste and change. Patterns
for these can be bought at any reliable
pattern house, and the gown can be made as
elaborate as fancy dictates.</p>
<p>The union suit of underclothing, the union
skirt and waist combined, and the gown, are
all that should be worn throughout the entire
period. If more warmth is needed it should
be given in the undergarments.</p>
<p>Exercise must be taken daily as a religious
duty. The common work which is to be
done about the home, is as good as any system
of physical exercise which can be devised
for development and healthfulness
throughout pregnancy; however, other movements
for the special strengthening of the
muscles of the back and abdomen may be
taken with profit.</p>
<p>Beginning with the fourth month sitz baths
(a bath taken in a sitting posture with only
the parts about the hips submerged) should
be taken as often as twice weekly for the following
three months, and after this to the close
of the period, every night just before retiring.
The water should be as hot as can well be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>
borne, and the bath continued for at least
fifteen or twenty minutes, while a half hour
can do no harm if it be enjoyed. Warm
water should be added to keep the bath at an
even temperature. Of course this should be
taken in a warm room where there is no danger
of a chill at the time or after.</p>
<p>With proper exercise and the baths, there
will be no need of bandaging to hold up the
pendant abdomen, for the strengthened muscles
will do their work better than art can
do it.</p>
<p>A word right here will not be out of place,
upon the subject of threatened miscarriages.
Young wives who are uninformed on these
things will often be greatly troubled at symptoms
which to them may seem alarming,
which are not so at all, while on the other
hand they may pass over too lightly other
symptoms that are really grave in character.</p>
<p>At any time throughout the pregnancy a
flow of blood, even if slight, must be considered
grave enough to call for the counsel
of the physician. Pains simulating menstrual
pains, if at all aggravated must be looked
after, and not be allowed to continue. Great
care should always be taken at what would
have been were she not pregnant, the regular<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span>
monthly period, as the greatest danger of
miscarriage comes at these times. No undue
exercise should be taken, but instead, all the
work, recreation and exercise should be
rather under the ordinary, at these periods.</p>
<p>If miscarriage threatens, the first symptom
to cause alarm will be a flow of more or
less amount, and, on the appearance of this
the physician should be at once consulted.
Following this there should be enforced rest,
preferably in a reclining position, for several
days, until all fears that there will be a return
are allayed, then the usual cares must
be resumed with caution.</p>
<p>To guard against threatened miscarriage
any young wife need only observe the rules
which govern right living and carefulness,
and she need have no fear.</p>
<p>All this for preservation and care; now a
further word.</p>
<p>It has been remarked by travellers in Italy,
that many of the native children bear a striking
resemblance to the pictures of the child
Jesus, from the adoration which the mothers
give the Madonnas. The same truth is here
again taught, that we not only become like
what we most love, and think most about,
but that we may transmit this likeness to our
little ones. O mothers! what an incentive<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>
to high and noble thinking, and to worthy
objects for our loves.</p>
<p>So far as inheritance goes this is too true,
but there is another side which we must not
fail to emphasize. Surroundings and education,
with the grace of God, may do very
much to eradicate harmful hereditary tendencies.
Yet the truth remains that the prevailing
tendencies of a life are inborn, and
unless they are set in the right direction, we
do battle against them at fearful odds, and
with an expenditure of a vast amount of
strength, that used otherwise would give us
a long push in the successful journey of life.</p>
<p>Harriet Prescott Spofford has in her inimitable
way put the truth of this mother inheritance
in these words: “No intelligence,
no cunning, no benevolence, could evade the
inevitable. For what she was, that her child
was. You do not gather figs from thistles.
What she had made herself, she had made
her child; what she had become that her
child became also. In being born the child
became all that.”</p>
<p>That we may train the more systematically
our little unborn babes, it will be well for us
to study the five stages of prenatal culture.
In giving these stages, I would not have you
understand that at no other time except at<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>
these periods are the given characteristics of
mind and body cultured and strengthened;
but that in these special periods they receive
their strongest impetus and determination.
Throughout the entire ten lunar months
should we foster and culture all the sweet
graces, but especially in these times.</p>
<p>In the first two of the ten lunar months of
pregnancy the physical nature of the little
one is shaped. During this time the mother
should pay especial attention to physical exercises
which will add to her strength and
insure vigorous health through the remaining
months. In other words, she should fix her
habits of exercise in this period and adhere
to them as closely as possible throughout the
entire ten months. As far as may be, put
pleasure and diversion into your exercise.</p>
<p>Look at beautiful pictures, study perfect
pieces of statuary, forbid as far as possible
the contemplation of unsightly and imperfect
models. Make your reading tend toward
the same end and you will be rewarded with
beautiful, vigorous children. If it be true,
as we know it is, that the dog-fancier can
produce you a dog at will, that will be
marked as you order, why may not this same
law be demonstrated in the human family?
Remember the story of Jacob’s sheep and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span>
the “pilled rods” for illustration in the
animal kingdom.</p>
<p>During the third and fourth months the
vital instincts are determined. Then the domestic
and social affections and loves, love of
home and family, are implanted. How very
much the future mother may do by making
the home at this time the fairest place on
earth; and becoming so in love with it herself,
that her child may forever in its after
life repeat this affection.</p>
<p>“In the fifth and sixth months the observing,
or perceptive powers are cultured and
engrafted. Individuality, form, weight,
color, calculation, time, tune, language and
the five external senses.”</p>
<p>Surely, enough variety in study for this
period. If you are not observing, learn to
be, by persistent exercise; assert your individuality;
study independence in thought
and action; be self-reliant, self-contained.
Study form and outline until you can take
them in at a glance. If you have never cultivated
an artistic taste do so at this time.
If you have not the time, talent or money to
learn to execute pictures yourself, you can at
least study the beautiful things done by
others, and can implant the love for these
things, which may be highly developed in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span>
your child. Many an ideal to which you
have never been able to give expression will
thus be wrought out in the most glowing
imagery hereafter by your children. The
things you have longed to be will find expression
in their lives.</p>
<p>Many a poet, I believe, has been born of
parents whose lives were poems, but who
were never able to express a couplet in rhyme
or meter. “Susanna Wesley, with the song
of praise and the gospel of peace in her
heart, bore and gave to the world two sons,
whose spiritual achievement in song and sermon
set in motion a wave of blessing that
has carried peace to thousands of souls the
world over, and will carry to the end of time.
Herself no singer or preacher, but living the
song and the sermon that found expression
in her sons.”</p>
<p>Truly nowhere does seed-sowing bring a
hundredfold more surely, than that implanted
in the prenatal life of our babies.</p>
<p>“In the fourth stage we develop the constructive
and beautifying powers; as constructiveness,
ideality, sublimity, mirthfulness,
imitation, suavity, etc.” How much,
by giving during this period, these faculties
in your own mind full play, and judicious
cultivation, can you add of blessing and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span>
happy helpfulness to the little life growing to
maturity under your heart.</p>
<p>“The fifth and last stage of two months
we may call the humanitarian and beneficent.
In this period, the religious or worshipful aspirations,
spiritual or upward looking powers,
as hope, veneration, benevolence, charity,
etc., etc., receive their impetus.”</p>
<p>How beautiful is the thought that in the
last two months while waiting for the little
one to come into her arms, the mother’s
thoughts should be especially directed toward
the highest and noblest possibilities of
her nature, and that by so doing she may
endow her child with these characteristics.</p>
<p>O mother, mother! As you learn these
things, prove them in your own life; and
then your work is only begun; for you are
bound by all the ties of our common sisterhood
to pass them on to mothers less favored
than you, that they too may learn the possibilities
bound up in motherhood.</p>
<p>A noble rule among the early Christians
was this: “Whenever you learn a new and
good thing, go and find some one that does
not know it, and tell him of it.” A blessed
rule for us as mothers to follow. We who
have had some of the higher opportunities
have a great responsibility resting upon us.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span></p>
<p>I found a few months ago, in one of our
religious papers a little poem that appealed
to me in its beauty and truthfulness. I cut
it out and read it over many times until the
words were learned. It is too true, I said to
myself, but need it be so? No; it need not,
if we reach out for the noblest within us and
claim our privileges.</p>
<p>I caught up my pen and in the meter that
had sung itself into my heart, I copied my
own thoughts on the subject, and I will give
them both to you.</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<p class="center">THE BABY.</p>
<p class="center">BY EMMA A. LENTE.</p>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“She is a little hindering thing,”</div>
<div class="verse indent3">The mother said,</div>
<div class="verse">“I do not have an hour of peace</div>
<div class="verse indent3">Till she’s in bed.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“She clings unto my hand and gown</div>
<div class="verse indent3">And follows me</div>
<div class="verse">About the house from room to room,</div>
<div class="verse indent3">Talks constantly.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“She is a bundle full of nerves,</div>
<div class="verse indent3">And wilful ways.</div>
<div class="verse">She does not sleep full sound at night,</div>
<div class="verse indent3">Scarce any, days.</div><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“She doesn’t like to hear the wind,</div>
<div class="verse indent3">The dark she fears,</div>
<div class="verse">And piteously she calls to me</div>
<div class="verse indent3">To wipe her tears.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“She is a little hindering thing,”</div>
<div class="verse indent3">The mother said,</div>
<div class="verse">“But still she is my wine of life,</div>
<div class="verse indent3">My daily bread.”</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">The children what a load of care</div>
<div class="verse indent3">Their coming brings:</div>
<div class="verse">But oh, the grief when God doth stoop</div>
<div class="verse indent3">To give them wings.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<p class="center">THE BABIES.</p>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">The children: what if months before</div>
<div class="verse indent2">We planned their lot,</div>
<div class="verse">And never in the passing weeks,</div>
<div class="verse indent2">Their good forgot?</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">What if, as little garments grew</div>
<div class="verse indent2">From busy hands,</div>
<div class="verse">We wrought with tender patient care</div>
<div class="verse indent2">The soul’s white bands?</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">And what if we both willed and prayed</div>
<div class="verse indent2">That baby’s life</div>
<div class="verse">Should be a better one than ours</div>
<div class="verse indent2">’Mid toil and strife?</div><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">So filled the weeks while waiting them</div>
<div class="verse indent2">With full content,</div>
<div class="verse">That sweetness, joy and bubbling life</div>
<div class="verse indent2">Were to them lent?</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">I’m sure this song would then be changed</div>
<div class="verse indent2">And read more sweet;</div>
<div class="verse">We’d sing it to the dancing time</div>
<div class="verse indent2">Of baby feet.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">She’s such a little gladsome thing</div>
<div class="verse indent2">The mother’d say,</div>
<div class="verse">I cannot have an hour of joy</div>
<div class="verse indent2">When she’s away.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">She is a bundle full of rest</div>
<div class="verse indent2">And joyous ways;</div>
<div class="verse">She sleeps so sweetly round at night,</div>
<div class="verse indent2">And fills my days.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">She doesn’t mind about the wind,</div>
<div class="verse indent2">The dark ne’er fears,</div>
<div class="verse">She laughs and sings and cuddles down</div>
<div class="verse indent2">With smiles not tears.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">She’s such a little helping thing</div>
<div class="verse indent2">The mother’d say;</div>
<div class="verse">And is my very wine of life</div>
<div class="verse indent2">From day to day.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">Such children: what a load of love</div>
<div class="verse indent2">Their coming brings:</div>
<div class="verse">But oh the grief when parents fail</div>
<div class="verse indent2">To give them wings.</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_IX">CHAPTER IX.<br />
<span class="smaller">PREPARATION FOR FATHERHOOD.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Command to “Replenish the Earth.”—Preparation
for Motherhood More Written About than
Preparation for Fatherhood.—Questions Which
Would Test the Fitness of Young Men for Marriage.—Parents
Should Know the Character of
Young Men Who Desire Their Daughters in Marriage.—Many
Young Men of Startling Worth.—The
Improving of a Good Heritage.—Effects of
Bad Morals and Wayward Habits.—Effects of Tobacco
and Alcoholics.—How Young Women Help
to Contribute Bad Habits in Young Men.—The
Years of Rooting and Weeding Necessary.—Attaining
the Best.—The Father Reproduced in His
Children.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“Be fruitful, multiply and replenish the earth.”</p>
</div>
<p>Webster defines “Replenish”: To stock
abundantly, to make complete or perfect.</p>
<p>“It is a sad fact that many persons assume
the responsibility of parents without
any clear appreciation of its obligations. To
provide a shelter from the storm, a proper
amount of rations, and an irregular and
spasmodic administration of discipline, chiefly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>
regulated by the nervous susceptibility of the
parents, rather than by the deserts of the
child, is their idea of parental duty.”</p>
<p>Far more has been written in these latter
days concerning the preparation for motherhood,
than the preparation for fatherhood.
One would almost conclude that no especial
fitting were needed to prepare young men to
become parents. Because of the lack of
strong public sentiment along these lines, the
many sons come to marriage with no adequate
idea of the duties and responsibilities before
them, with no thought or knowledge of what
they have, or should have, to give to the next
generation.</p>
<p>Suppose a set of questions something like
the following were handed to young men the
week before their marriage, what think you
would be their answers?</p>
<p>Do you bring to your bride the same purity
that you expect from her?</p>
<p>What in your life and habits have you
hidden, and would you still hide from her?</p>
<p>What mental reservation do you make in
respect to your liberties after marriage, to
indulge these habits?</p>
<p>What companions have you, whom you
would not care to bring to your home or introduce
to your wife?</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p>
<p>What “wild oats” have you sown that
have left their seeds in your constitution to
be transmitted to your children, and they in
turn to their children down through the generations?</p>
<p>How many hours of thought have you
given to the wise, earnest fitting for good
fatherhood?</p>
<p>Do you, in the sight of God, consider
yourself fit to become the husband, which
all this close relation involves, of a pure,
sweet, true woman?</p>
<p>These questions are simple questions, and
should in every allowable marriage, admit of
but one answer. No father or mother should
ever give their consent to companionship,
much less to marriage of their daughters,
with men whom they have any reason to
suppose could not answer these questions
unblushingly, and with honest eyes, in the
presence of the woman they seek as wife.</p>
<p>Dear young woman, you should know, as
you value your peace of mind, what the
young man really <em>is</em> to whom you plight your
troth. What he may <em>seem</em> to be to you,
what you have idealized him to be, is not
sufficient. You owe it to yourself and to
your unborn children, to know what he
<em>really</em> is; and if he resents the questioning<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>
of your parents, say the “no,” now, rather
than live it, in agony, all your after life.</p>
<p>Much that might have been said in this
chapter I have already said in the chapter on
the choice of a husband, and we will not
repeat.</p>
<p>That there are many young men, noble,
true, conscientious and pure in their sterling
manhood we know; and for such as these
the warnings in this chapter are not written.
That there are parents who fully realize the
necessity of training their children for parenthood,
and have all the way along given line
upon line, precept upon precept, toward this
training, we all know; but that the number
is not greater, we sadly deplore.</p>
<p>Young men need to realize that sowing
wild oats will never bring a harvest of wheat;
and that a bed of thistles will never yield a
garland of flowers. Like will produce like,
as long as the world stands, and we can
never change it.</p>
<p>In preparation for fatherhood there is
much that the best among young men would
wish to change in their lives, and they have
this to comfort them; that by painstaking
perseverance any resolute person can do very
much toward eradicating inborn tendencies,
and hereditary evils. Poor soil well enriched<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>
and carefully tended, watered with the dew
of God’s grace, will bring a marvelous harvest
of good things, and transform all future
products; while the best of fields, with the
wisest of care and tillage in the years past,
may grow to weeds and wastefulness in
this generation, if neglected. Therefore,
while we have much to be grateful for in a
good heritage, and that we have a name
which, unlike poor little Patsy’s, will wash, yet
too much dependence cannot be placed upon
this. “Say not that ye have Abraham to
your father; I say unto you that God is able
of these stones to raise up children unto
Abraham.”</p>
<p>Young man, what sort of soil are you
preparing for the growth of the next generation,
when you allow, for a <em>little</em> time even,
looseness of morals and wayward habits?
Late hours, tippling, mingling with the unclean,
the coarse jest and the coarser practice
following, are not good soil for the implantation
later on of the higher virtues;
the danger is, the desire for such implantation
will be lost, or if it in a measure remains,
the roots of the old weeds are there,
and the soil is cursed with the noisome seeds
which will spring up and choke the wheat.
Mayhap both may grow together, and a harvest<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>
of wheat and tares be gathered, but at
what a cost of time and strength, that might
have been used in better things.</p>
<p>The use of alcoholics and tobacco enfeeble
the mind and constitution, and this enfeeblement
accentuated is transmitted to the
next generations. Many wives are struggling
along in ill health that is directly traceable to
the inhaling, night after night, of the breath
of the husband, poisoned with nicotine.
Many a little one is wailing through its infancy,
and if it have strength sufficient, inherited
from its remote ancestors, to pull it
through, yet will it all its life suffer from its
antenatal and postnatal poisoning; and the
chances are that as soon as it is old enough
it will take up the habit which is already
acquired, to pass down along the line a more
and more enfeebled heritage.</p>
<p>But the young are not all to blame, they
have not been instructed. They have floated
along, many times unmindful of the rapids
they were nearing, and have not awakened
until they were engulfed. And our daughters
are not guiltless in <em>this</em> thing even.
How many times when the escort asks, “Is
tobacco offensive to you?” have our thoughtless
girls answered, “Oh, no,” when at
heart it was repulsive and sickening. By<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>
and by, after months of endurance it becomes
bearable, and they can make the reply with
a degree of truthfulness; for tobacco, like
sin,</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Is a monster of such frightful mien,</div>
<div class="verse">That to be hated, needs but to be seen;</div>
<div class="verse">Yet seen too oft familiar with its face,</div>
<div class="verse">We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>When our dear girls have strength of character
sufficient to say in response to such a
query, while lifting frank honest eyes:
“Shall I answer your question honestly?
then I must say, it is very offensive to me;
for I know it does you harm, and I know as
well that I cannot breathe the fumes of it
<em>even</em> for an hour without physical harm to
myself.”</p>
<p>There is not one young man in a hundred,
who would not rejoice in the courage of such
a girl, and ten chances to one, he would be
telling his companions of the brave stand
she had made, and exulting in it.</p>
<p>Young men of high attainment and noble
purposes, there is still something for you to
do, to transmit the best to your progeny.
Make the noblest in you still nobler, root out
the weeds, attain greater heights every year,
seek nobler companionship among books and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>
men, choose for your mate the woman whose
desires and ambitions are like your own, and
your children will be a blessing to you and
the world, and may well “rise up to call you
blessed.”</p>
<p>To the other class of young men, we have
only to say, there should be before them
many years of rooting and weeding and killing
out, and hard preparation, before they
should dare ask any good women to be their
wives. Aye, more, before they should even
dare to ask a woman like themselves, for
think of the double inheritance of such unfortunate
children as might be theirs; and
think again how the world is cursed with
such disinherited humanity now.</p>
<p>The motto</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Without halting, without rest,</div>
<div class="verse">Pushing better up to best,”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p class="noindent">should be the sentiment of every young man,
in view of his preparation for fatherhood.
It is a lamentable fact that children have as
often reason to lament their parentage, as
parents their wayward children. But it is
probably a merciful thing that most children
of this class never realize it—merciful at
least for them and their parents, but not for
the coming generations.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span></p>
<p>Remember you are to reproduce yourself,
and in large measure what you are yourself
that will your children be. Measure
yourself carefully, take account of stock and
see what there is that you would have different,
what you would make better, what you
would eradicate, what new qualities you
would engraft. The little children, to be, in
your home who are to call you father, are
not only to copy you when they are large
enough and wise enough in their love to wish
to be like you; but they come into existence
with inborn tendencies, that perforce make
them like you, whether they will or not.
Happy the parents whose children never regret
their inheritances.</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“It isn’t all in the bringing up,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Let folks say what they will,</div>
<div class="verse">You may silver polish a pewter cup,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">But it will be pewter still.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_X">CHAPTER X.<br />
<span class="smaller">ANTENATAL INFANTICIDE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Alarming Prevalence of This Hideous Sin.—How
Daughters are Initiated.—How Expectant
Mothers Appeal to Reputable Physicians.—Young
Women Should be Taught to Associate the Idea
of Marriage with Motherhood.—Destruction of
own Health and Life go Hand in Hand with Prenatal
Murder.—Effect of Such Attempts Upon the
Physical Life and Character.—Life from the Moment
of Conception.—The Injustice and Cruel
Wrongs Inflicted upon Wives by Uncontrolled
Passions of Husbands.—Obligation of Motherhood
Should be Recognized.—Its Blessings.—The
Duty of the Physician as Educator of Public
Sentiment.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“The destruction of the end or purpose of an institution
is virtually the destruction of the institution
itself. I firmly believe that the greatest sin against
God and the greatest crime against society in the
nineteenth century, is the covert attack, which in one
form or another, excused by one consideration or
another, is being waged against God’s institution of
marriage.”—<span class="smcap">Rev. Brevard D. Sinclair.</span></p>
</div>
<p>Do our young women consider and really
understand the giant evil which walks our<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span>
streets sometimes covertly, sometimes so
openly, that with eyes of discernment it can
be easily detected? This terrible evil that
has been so excused, so palliated that it
stands out in the minds of many, dressed,
not in its hideous garb of sin and shame, but
tricked in taking dress and attractive coloring—so
attractive that many of our matrons
have pointed it out and introduced it to our
fresh, beautiful daughters, and introduced
them into its mysteries, and all the horrible
sin this evil is heir to.</p>
<p>I speak of the shamefully prevalent evil of
antenatal infanticide.</p>
<p>I quote again from Mr. Sinclair. “A sin
of such delicacy that people affect to be
shocked when it is alluded to, and yet a sin
which is practiced, applauded and commended
so widely in private, that even the
children are not ignorant of its prevalence
among their elders. Indeed a sin, in which
in many cases, daughters are deliberately
nurtured and trained, so that when opportunity
is presented for its practice the conscience
is so stultified and suborned by long
training and familiarity with its hellish and
poisonous consequences, that it is committed
without compunction.”</p>
<p>O mothers! with us rests in large measure<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>
the righting of this terrible wrong. Are we
aware ourselves of its loathsomeness, and are
we prepared to pronounce against it everywhere
where our voices can be heard?
Shall we teach our daughters that the institution
of marriage is for home and children,
and that unless they are prepared to make
the home and desire children, they are committing
a grievous sin to enter its sacred
portals?</p>
<p>Every reputable physician grows sick at
heart many times, when he is approached by
these untaught and unscrupulous young and
older women, to ask him to be a party with
them in the crime of murder, and possible
suicide. “The sin is none the less heinous,
and the crime none the less wicked when it
is performed by those who affect ‘the best
society,’ or who with unworthy hands take
the bread and wine at the communion table
of a dying Lord, who pronounced His blessing
on the pure in heart.”</p>
<p>When an untaught young wife comes to us
with a desire that she may be “helped out
of her difficulty,” and then proceeds to tell
us that she does not want children so early
in her married life; that she wants to enjoy
herself first for a while, or she wants to make
a visit, or take a trip to Europe and cannot<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>
be in that condition; and that she has tried
all the simple means that she knows of, but
has accomplished nothing; we sit down patiently
and tell her from the beginning the
sin and danger of it all; danger, not only to
life, but also to all the higher instincts of our
nature; for when one deliberately takes a
life, the conscience is seared to all sin, and
the pathway down to the lower depths is an
easy one. I can assure you, this is no easy
task, for we have the teaching of friends and
relatives, yes, and I grieve to say, sometimes
of mothers to undo! Oh the sorrow of it!</p>
<p>Young women, with you rests the hope of
the world in the betterment of this sad state
of things. Know that when you enter marriage
with any other thought than that you
will be the joyful mother of children, you
commit a grievous sin. Know that any plan
you may have made to obviate this, indefinitely,
while allowing the close marriage relation
to exist, is sinful and makes you partaker
with abortionists, and those who would
destroy the holy institution of home and fireside.</p>
<p>When women who have grown older in
years and experience enter my office with
their specious reasoning, women who have no
excuse for not knowing the evil thing which<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>
they are advocating, I feel like denouncing
them before the world as the enemies of God
and womankind. Oh the shame that woman
who should be the helper and inspiration in
all good things should so lend her hand and
heart to evil!</p>
<p>But the sin does not always stop with the
murder. Many times her own life is a sacrifice
to her sin, or if not this, she is doomed
to invalidism the remainder of her days.
Truly, as Mr. Sinclair says, “Many a woman
is buried with Christian burial, over whose
grave ought to be placed a tombstone with
this inscription: “Here lies a suicide, assisted
to her grave by her murderers—her
husband, her female counsellors, and the conscienceless
physician.””</p>
<p>There is no excuse whatever for the crime
of abortion. The arguments are many that
are made to ease the conscience, or palliate
the sin, but not one of them will hold, before
a tribunal of honest clean thinking people,
with God on the bench.</p>
<p>It is wicked, say they, to bring so many
children into the world that cannot be well
taken care of; “I really have not the
strength to take care of any more;” and
they go on in their sinful practice until health
is destroyed or life sacrificed. “I do not<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>
think that women should give their lives to
bearing children, and have no time for mental
improvement,” they say again, while
they spend a great part of their time in devising
means to prevent conception, or in
worry, lest they may not succeed, while the
little fragment of time and strength is given
to the pursuit of “culture,” and at the age,
when, had they borne their children and
been joyful in training them, they would
have been vigorous and strong for years of
mental work and wide culture. At this very
time because of what they have done they
are pale broken-down women, with no
strength or ambition left for nobler pursuits
than groaning over their ill-health or seeking
alleviation for their sufferings.</p>
<p>But their sin does not stop with themselves,
but is written legibly upon the lives
of the children, who, in spite of their earnest
endeavor to the contrary, have stemmed the
tide of evil, and come to maturity of term, if
not of vigor.</p>
<p>A late writer in a Christian journal has
said, “There are thousands of miserable objects
in our insane asylums, hospitals, yea, in
our jails, who may honestly complain, ‘from
our mothers cometh our misery.’ The attempt
to commit prenatal murder is frightfully<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>
common—as all women and physicians
know—and where it does not kill, malformations,
idiocy, and distorted moral powers are
too often the results. For no one ever breaks
into ‘the house of life,’ and is innocent or
unpunished. Prenatal murder and self-murder
walk hand in hand, crying to heaven
as loudly as did the blood of Abel. And
should these women personally seem to escape,
yet there will come a day when God
will ask them one terrible question, ‘Where
are the children that I gave you?’”</p>
<p>Again they say, “There is no harm until
there is life.” The moment conception takes
place, that moment there is life; and whether
the crime be committed in six hours, six
weeks or six months, the sin is in all cases of
equal enormity. Murder is in the intent,
not in the act alone. When you intend to
rid yourself of the little life if possible, you
have committed murder as surely as if the
murdered child lay dead in your arms, or
it may chance live to denounce you with its
disinherited life, if not with its words.</p>
<p>But I would not denounce woman alone,
for the wrong does not lie wholly with her.
Dr. Holbrook in an article on sanitary
parentage, says: “That which polite language
veils under the designation ‘social<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span>
evil,’ and which desolates so many happy
homes, and brings its quick harvest of misery,
remorse, disease and death, chiefly lives because
man does not know aright, does not
truly reverence and honor woman, and keep
in subjection that which may become one of
the monster passions in his heart, and is thus
continued from generation to generation.”</p>
<p>Often, we believe, are women driven to
abortion, by maternity being thrust upon
them, when they are already weakened by
too frequent child-bearing.</p>
<p>A case of this kind came into my office a
few days since. A bright, pretty little
woman, scarcely more than a girl, sat down
before me with the exclamation, “Doctor, I
have missed my monthly period, and have
come in to have you give me something to
set me right.” “Are you married?” I questioned.
“Yes,” she answered. “Do you
not think that you may be pregnant?” I enquired.
“Yes: I fear that I am,” she cried,
with tears in her voice; “but I have one little
one, not yet two years old, and a baby of
eight months, and it does not seem that I can
have another one now.” She was but
twenty-two years old, and I could not help
mentally calculating, what the number would
be were she obliged to go on at this rate,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>
until the child-bearing age was passed. My
heart ached for the child mother; but I could
say to her only this: “My dear, do you
think it would be better for you to endanger
your health, and perhaps take your life, and
leave your two babies without a mother, than
to go on patiently and have this baby, and
live to care for them all?”</p>
<p>I said to her, “Never allow yourself to think
for a moment, of taking the life of a little unborn
child; it is murder, dear, and nothing
else. I know you have not thought of it in
this light. Go home, talk it over with your
husband candidly, tell him that you will
never be guilty of the sin of abortion, no
matter how many children you have. Insist
upon the better way, namely, such continence
in the marriage relation as shall not impose
the burden of maternity upon you oftener than
once in two or three years. Help him to see
that the selfish gratification of his desires are
hardly worth while when secured at such a
cost to your health and comfort. Make him
to see that the children that come from such
self-indulgence cannot be the strong, vigorous
and noble children they would be if generated
under self-control. Occupy separate
beds, and help him by every means in your
power to attain self-control, and become master<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span>
of his passions, not their slave.” I do not
know the outcome, but I feel certain that the
little woman went home with something to
think about, and I trust with profit.</p>
<p>Above all, my dear young wives, do not
underestimate the mighty, unequalled power
of the mother of several children. And
know this, that no work is so productive of
true culture, in your own life, as the proper
bearing and rearing of children. Nothing so
cultivates all the virtues that alone serve as
the foundation of true education and wisdom.
As your children grow you will be inspired to
keep pace with them, and when they have
gone out from the home nest, you will find
ample time to read and study, and you will
have the consciousness of a life well spent to
urge you on.</p>
<p>I believe firmly, that for the best results,
offspring should be limited, but limited in a
legitimate way. When temperate lives are
lived, not more than five or six children come
into a home, and this is but a good family.
Mothers of such families if they live within
their means and “look well to the ways of
their households,” are not fretted, broken
down women, but hale and hearty, and as
children mature are ready for years of strenuous
living, and community service.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span></p>
<p>No thwarting of nature has any ground for
excuse, and the so-called physician who
peddles any theory or device for so doing has
no right to the name, and has no recognition
among the ranks of the reputable of the honored
profession of medicine. His work is
done in the dark and under the pledge of
secrecy, and so he marks himself of the abode
of Satan.</p>
<p>No honorable physician can say, “I have
never lent myself as a party to this crime,
hence my conscience is clear, my duty done.”
No: your duty is not done. Physicians
stand or should stand as the guardsmen of the
unborn generations, and as educators of public
opinion along these lines; and their pen, their
voice and their practice should form a trinity
of power against the inroads of this alarmingly
threatening evil—threatening to the best instincts
of the moral nature of our time;
threatening to the future of our land, when
we consider the very few children born into
our better homes, while in the byways, among
the lower classes, the little ones swarm in hot-beds
of sin.</p>
<p>At least four children should be born and
grow to maturity in every American home in
our land, to keep good the present number
of our people. The average is far below this,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>
and the result is that the American race is
fast dying out.</p>
<p>We stand at the head of all the nations in
the extent and enormity of this crime. Shall
we not stand at the head in a true reformation?</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XI">CHAPTER XI.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE MORAL RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS IN
HEREDITY.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Duty of the Present to Future Generations.—Darwin
on Heredity.—Nature Inexorable.—The
Mother’s Investment of Moulding Power.—The
Father’s Important Part in the Transmission of
Heredity.—The Parents Workers Together with
God.—Parents must Reap What They Sow.—The
Law and the Gospel of Heredity Contrasted.—The
Children of Inebriates and Others.—Lessons
from Reformatory Institutions.—The Outcast
Margaret.—The Mother of Samson.—How a Child
Became an Embodiment of “The Lady of the
Lake.”—The Woman Who Desired to be the
Mother of Governors.—Importance of this Study.</p>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“Often do the spirits of great events stride on before the events,</div>
<div class="verse">And in to-day already walks to-morrow.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“It is not just as we take it,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">This mystical life of ours,</div>
<div class="verse">Life’s harvest will yield as we make it</div>
<div class="verse indent1">A harvest of thorns or of flowers.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children,
whom thou mayest make princes in all the earth.”</p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span></p>
<p>Francis Galton says: “I conclude that
each generation has enormous powers over
the natural gifts of those that follow, and
maintain that it is a duty that we owe to
humanity to investigate the range of that
power, and to exercise it in a way that, without
being unwise toward ourselves, shall be
most advantageous to the future inhabitants
of the earth.”</p>
<p>Mr. Darwin maintains in his theory of
pangenesis, that the gemmules of innumerable
qualities, derived from ancestral sources,
circulate in the blood and propagate themselves
generation after generation still in
the state of gemmules, but fail in developing
themselves into cells, because other antagonistic
gemmules are prepotent and overmaster
them, in the struggle for points of attachment.
Hence there is a vastly larger number
of capabilities in every human being than
ever find expression, and for every patent
element there are countless latent ones. The
character of a man is wholly formed through
these gemmules that have succeeded in attaching
themselves, the remainder that have
been overpowered by their antagonists count
for nothing.</p>
<p>Again he says, “The average proportion
of gemmules modified by individual variation<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span>
under various conditions preceding birth
clearly admits of being determined by observation,
for the children will in the average,
inherit the gemmules in the same proportion
that they existed in their parents. It follows
that the human race has a large control over
its future forms of activity, far more than an
individual has over his own; since the freedom
of individuals is narrowly restricted
by the cost in energy of exercising their
wills.”</p>
<p>We might go on indefinitely making quotations
from undisputed authorities on this
great science of heredity, for to-day it has
become almost an exact science. In view of
this the exclamation of a writer in the <cite>Science
of Health</cite> is very pertinent. “Who shall
deliver us from our ancestors? And if the
fathers have eaten sour grapes, who on earth
shall prevent the children’s teeth being set on
edge? Not nature. She is inexorable. An
eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, is her
law. But between the unbroken law and its
entailed consequences stands the mother, invested
with a power which makes her either
a Nemesis or a redeemer. This is the unwritten
law in every mother’s heart, and I
believe that in all the ages there have been
women who have hearkened unto its voice.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>
The son that Hannah prayed so earnestly
for, and gave unto the Lord before his birth,
inherited a soul that had been to school before
it drew its first breath. Slaves suckle
slaves; pure and enthusiastic women bring
forth saints and heroes. All history attests
the fact that great men had great mothers.”</p>
<p>That both in the law and the gospel of
heredity, of the two parents, the mother has
a far greater influence we believe firmly; yet
this does not relieve the father from responsibility.
The germ from him, which is “bone
of his bone, flesh of his flesh,” contributed
to the formation of the child in its beginning,
must be of high nature and cultivation, seed
from a noble sire, or the little life is dwarfed
from the outset, and the mother must expend
much precious time and strength in making
good the terrible deficiencies which such a
beginning entails, and then mourn that so
much can never be overcome.</p>
<p>What our children become depends upon
two conditions; what they are at birth, and
what environment makes them. That the
parents may make of their children almost
what they will, that they are in a peculiar
sense, workers together with God in the
creative and formative periods, that they may
by self-culture and painstaking reproduce a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span>
generation superior to themselves, are all
truths big with responsibility and meaning.</p>
<p>That we reap what we sow, is an inevitable
law in the mental and moral as in the physical
sphere. While there is this great and
awful law, I am so thankful that we can emphasize
the far greater and wider reaching
gospel of heredity. Into this we can put all
the sweet promises whose fulfillment is sure—if
we are ever reaching up to the higher
and nobler aspirations of our nature, and not
degenerating to the lower tastes and inclinations.</p>
<p>For the law, we have, “visiting the iniquities
of the fathers upon the children unto the
third and fourth generation.” For the gospel,
“And showing mercy unto thousands of
(generations) of them that love Me and keep
My commandments.”</p>
<p>For the law, “The fathers have eaten sour
grapes and the children’s teeth are set on
edge.” For law and gospel both, “As is
the mother so is her daughter.”</p>
<p>For gospel, “Instead of thy fathers shall
be thy children whom thou mayest make
princes in all the earth.” For law, the sad
history of the children of inebriates, of tobacco
users and of the insane; also the history
of many children born in polygamous<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>
Utah, of jealous mothers outraged at the loss
or division of the love of their husbands.
Ugly, misshapen children, mentally and morally.
“Disinherited childhood,” is written
upon every line of their distorted lives. Go
with our missionary teachers and learn from
the aching hearts of these mothers, the stories
of anguish that in the passing stamped indelibly
the characters of the little ones unborn;
listen while they tell you that they know only
too well, when their children were stamped
with the vindictive revengeful spirits which
so many of them manifest; or were bowed
down with a burden of sorrow too heavy to
be borne. Hear the story of one such little
one that literally wept its short life away,
without a cry, getting from its mother an inheritance
of tears, shed in silence under a
pride that forbade a moan.</p>
<p>Visit our almshouses and reformatories, our
orphanages, our idiot asylums, and get a few
of the histories of the little inmates; trace
them back for three, four or five generations,
and see how unmistakably woe has generated
woe, crime begotten crime, and disease
brought forth disease.</p>
<p>Let us study this, the dark side of the picture
of heredity, and seriously ask ourselves
if it isn’t time a new reform was instituted<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>
and the heart of philanthropy set to beating
in sympathy, not only with this great army of
robbed, disinherited children, but as well with
the yet unborn generations. The great work
for them must be done now, not after they are
ushered into a depraved, diseased existence.</p>
<p>“There is a story of one neglected little
girl, poor Margaret, who never had a home,
and who grew up a wretched outcast, living
a life of sin and shame. After seventy-five
years it was reckoned that her descendants
numbered twelve hundred; two hundred and
eighty of whom were paupers, and one hundred
and forty habitual criminals, while most of
the whole degraded family cursed the country
with vice, crime, pauperism, and insanity.”</p>
<p>Finally for gospel, we have the indisputable
fact that we may by prayerful thought
and systematic study make our children what
we will. Read the story of the angel’s appearance
to the mother of Samson, when
the child was promised, and remember his
direction. “And Manoah said, How shall
we order the child and how shall we do unto
him? And the angel of the Lord said unto
Manoah, of all that I said unto the woman
let her beware. She may not eat of anything
that cometh of the vine, neither let her drink
wine nor strong drink, nor eat any unclean<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span>
thing; all that I commanded her let her observe.”
(Judges 13: 13, 14.)</p>
<p>A sweet story is told that illustrates the
gospel side of heredity in a marvelous way.
A traveller in the west came to the house of a
settler in a remote frontier district, and asked
for shelter for the night. The parents had
come from the east in an early day, and were
people of ordinary intelligence only. Among
the children born to them in this western
home were several sons, coarse, boorish, and
altogether what their birth and environment
would indicate. The traveller was struck
with the remarkable beauty and refinement of
one child, a daughter. So different was she
from her brothers that he made bold to ask
the mother, if she could explain why the
daughter was so different from her brothers,
and how in her surroundings she had developed
such grace and beauty.</p>
<p>The mother looked up quickly with an intelligent
smile, pleased that her child should
receive such appreciation. “Yes, I can tell
you, I think, why she differs so, and to me it
is a strange thing and I have often wondered
if I have thought aright. Several months
before my child was born, one day there
came to our cabin a colporteur with a variety
of books for sale. I was not much of a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span>
reader, but my life was a lonely one, shut out
from all society as I was, with nothing of
comfort or beauty about me. Only one of
the books attracted my attention, a little blue-and-gold
copy of Scott’s Lady of The Lake.
It was illustrated, and as I turned it over in
my hands, and caught now and then a word
that explained an illustration, I was possessed
with a desire to have the book. We were
poor and I knew that my husband would not
understand the wish I had to own it. I
handed it back to the man and he went on
his way. I could not get the thought of the
book out of my mind, and did not sleep an
hour that night. As soon as the first peep of
day began to show itself, I rose and with the
price of the book in my hand started for the
nearest neighbor, the next cabin where I
thought the book agent must have stopped
for the night. I found him and got the book
and came home. Through all the months
before the little one came that book was my
constant companion. I read it and reread
it, until I knew much of it by heart. Every
scene of the book was as vivid as a reality to
me. When the daughter came she was the
Lady of The Lake over again, and was always
just what you see her now.”</p>
<p>Dr. Holbrook says, “Every child born<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>
into the world is essentially an experiment;
we cannot tell what its chief characteristics will
be; these depend upon the potentialities stored
up in the germ-plasm.” Then how much depends
upon the parents, that the germ-plasm
be of fine quality, and so insure fine products
in their children. In his book on Stirpiculture,
Dr. Holbrook says, “The common
people often get at truths in a rude way long
before the scientists do. Many parents tell
us their children are strongly influenced by
some particular occupation of the mother
during pregnancy. So strong is this belief
that many mothers are in our time trying to
influence the characters of their unborn children
by special modes of life, by cultivating
music, or art, or science, in order to give the
child a love for these pursuits.”</p>
<p>Apropos to this statement, we can attest
many instances that have come under our
immediate observation. Study and research
along certain lines, and in special directions
have brought the results desired, and the
children have become what they were trained
to be in intra-uterine life.</p>
<p>“What do you expect to do when you get
to America?” asked a fellow-passenger of a
woman who was crossing the Atlantic about
a century ago. “Do? why raise governors<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span>
for them.” And she was as good as her
word, for she became the mother of General
John Sullivan, the chief magistrate of New
Hampshire, and of James Sullivan, governor
of Massachusetts. “She who thinks skim
milk will transmit skim milk; she who thinks
cream will transmit cream.” This woman
thought cream and lived it and transmitted
the best to her children.</p>
<p>Young women do not stop in your research
with the few thoughts that can be given in a
chapter like this, but go on in the study until
you know what it has to teach you and what
you may give to your unborn children, by
painstaking study and culture of yourself.
Begin by weeding out the habits and tendencies
that you would not wish to transmit, and
by cultivating the qualities and accomplishments,
which you would delight to see repeated
in your children.</p>
<p>Depend upon it the study and care will reward
you bountifully, and you will do your
part in furthering the knowledge of this great
science, which means so much to the generations
to come.</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“A partnership with God is motherhood;</div>
<div class="verse indent1">What strength, what purity, what self-control,</div>
<div class="verse">What love, what wisdom, should belong to her,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Who helps God fashion an immortal soul.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XII">CHAPTER XII.<br />
<span class="smaller">AILMENTS OF PREGNANCY.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Pregnancy not an Unnatural but a Normal State.—Tendency
to Neglect Hygienic Rules.—Morning
Sickness.—How to Correct it.—Important Questions
of Diet.—Displaced Uterus as Cause of
Nausea.—Mental States.—Companionship.—Various
Gastric Troubles.—Insomnia.—Hysteria.—Constipation
and How to Correct it.—Longings.—Self-control.—With
Proper Care, as a Rule All
Goes Well.</p>
</div>
<p>There are several distressing ailments
which afflict the pregnant woman, and which
are too often by the uninformed considered
a necessity, hence nothing is done for them.
Leavitt has said wisely, “The general health
is already frequently disturbed, and the system
in an enfeebled state, when pregnancy is
established. The woman at once enters on
the trying experiences of early gestation—attributing
nearly all her symptoms to the
physiological changes being wrought in her
organism. Viewing them also as, in great
measure essential features of her condition,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>
she is prone to neglect proper attention to
hygienic rules.”</p>
<p>Another mistake is too frequently made
by the women, and indulged by the physician,
namely, considering the pregnant state
a pathological, diseased, or unnatural condition,
in every instance, while it should be
in the majority of cases purely a physiological,
natural and healthy condition. True, woman
is not exempt during pregnancy from the
various ills that assail her sex, and the human
family as a whole; but that every ailment
with which she is assailed should be attributed
to her condition is a mistake, and a
greater mistake is to neglect proper treatment
for these ills.</p>
<p>The morning sickness is one of the most
common and troublesome ailments of the parturient,
and one which is most often neglected.
But it is likewise one which can be
controlled in the majority of instances. Do
not neglect it, but see to it at once. Plenty
of exercise in the open air, well-aired sleeping
rooms, pleasant surroundings and suitable
food go far to mitigate this ill, but the doctor
will need to be consulted at times. The diet
of women suffering from morning sickness,
should be regulated, and nothing deleterious
to her allowed. Often the aggravated ailment<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>
can be traced to vagaries of appetite,
which have been foolishly indulged, which
corrected, and a reasonable diet substituted,
will do much to aid the cure. Often a few
mouthfuls of food or a cup of coffee taken
in the morning before rising will prove of decided
benefit, and should be tried before
medicines are resorted to.</p>
<p>The false notion that the pregnant woman
“must eat for two,” and so proceed to indulge
her appetite to the utmost, should be
corrected. The appetite should be kept
under in pregnancy as carefully as at any
other time, and rather than otherwise, more
care be taken in the selection of food, and
regularity of meals.</p>
<p>Leavitt recommends as articles specially
suited to the earlier months of pregnancy,
the following:—“Mutton-broth, chicken-broth,
oysters, clams and fish. When they
have heretofore agreed, the following may
also be eaten: beef, mutton, chicken, game,
eggs, stale bread, oat meal, rice, baked potatoes,
spinach, macaroni, greens, celery,
green peas, lettuce, asparagus, oranges,
grapes, and stewed fruit. Desserts should
in most instances be avoided.”</p>
<p>These do not of course include all the
harmless articles, and a simple and comprehensive<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>
rule is this: any article of food that
is hygienic and does not disagree may be
partaken of with impunity.</p>
<p>Sometimes the nausea may be due to other
causes than those exciting simple nausea.
If it is persistent and aggravated a displaced
uterus may be the cause. This when corrected
will effect a cure like magic.</p>
<p>In the later months of pregnancy the
nausea, if any, is due to another cause than
that which excites it in the earlier months.
Compression and a changed character of the
secretions, are the exciting causes at this
time, yet even here attention to diet will do
much toward correcting the distress. “At
this period all articles of food which
will increase the fermentative action, so
easily set up, ought to be avoided. Such
are mainly those containing starch, sugar
and fat.”</p>
<p>The mental state of the woman needs careful
attention as well as the physical. Among
the early Greeks a pregnant woman was held
so much in reverence that she was guarded
almost sacredly, and shielded from all possible
annoyances. No troublesome or unsightly
thing was allowed in her presence,
and she was surrounded with pleasing and
delightful companions, pictures and occupations.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>
This might with profit be emulated
by the people of to-day. An unpleasant
companion in the home, a dull, monotonous,
treadmill existence will often drive a pregnant
woman to the verge of distraction;
while on the other hand the thought that she
is the subject of tender solicitude and care,
that she is petted and indulged in her harmless
desires, will make the period of pregnancy
a long holiday.</p>
<p>Above all, keep all croaking companions
away. You will find in every neighborhood,
women who delight to give in detail all the
terrible cases they have ever heard or imagined,
and these are the women that you
should shun, and in plain words, forbid the
introduction of such topics if necessary.</p>
<p>Sometimes another distressing gastric disturbance,
which may give much annoyance,
is a want of appetite, or disgust for food.
A change of scene or surroundings for a
time, with an entire change of table, will
often be all that is necessary to correct this.
A visit to the mother or a dear friend, will
relieve the monotony, and often give the
change desired. This very often is the result
of mental disturbance rather than physical,
and so yields when the proper remedy,
change, is prescribed and taken.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span></p>
<p>Acidity of the stomach and heartburn can
be relieved with the appropriate remedy.
“Temporary relief will often be afforded by a
swallow of pure glycerine, or a half teaspoonful
dose of aromatic spirits of ammonia.”</p>
<p>Neuralgia of the stomach calls for the doctor.
Ptyalism, or an excessive flow of saliva;
pruritus, or a distressing itching of the
genitals or of the abdominal wall; face-ache
or neuralgia of the fifth nerve, are all
relieved only by the proper prescription from
the physician.</p>
<p>Insomnia, which often proves very troublesome,
can often be cured by more outdoor
air, and diversion during the day, and a
brisk walk in the good fresh evening air,
followed by the sitz bath or bath taken in
sitting posture, with only the parts about the
hips submerged in hot water just before retiring;
or a quick sponge bath, rather cool
than warm, just before going to rest for the
night will often act well as a sedative.</p>
<p>The urine in quality and quantity should
be carefully looked after, and should be examined
by the physician several times during
the later months of pregnancy, that its condition
may be known.</p>
<p>Hysteria may appear in some of its various
forms, but when the cause, which is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span>
more often than otherwise due to indigestion,
excessive fatigue, loss of sleep, unpleasant
surroundings or companions, “operating on
a nervous system, very sensitive, and already
a little out of tune”—when the cause is removed
the hysteria will vanish.</p>
<p>Constipation, which in this state as in all
others is more often than otherwise, simply a
bad habit, proves at many times a great annoyance.
Care from the very outset should
be taken to keep the bowels open. Often
all that is necessary, is proper attention to
diet, exercise and good air. Diminished intestinal
action is doubtless an exciting cause,
and this can be met by greater activity on
the part of the woman, and a selection of
food that is easily digested and laxative in
character. If constipation is neglected there
may result an accumulation of feces or
waste matter in the rectum and large intestine
sometimes of great size, which may
prove a great obstruction to labor, or even
interrupt pregnancy prematurely. Fruits,
graham bread, figs, stewed prunes, and liberal
quantities of hot water sipped slowly,
thirty or forty minutes before each meal, will
often prove all the medicine needed.</p>
<p>The longings of pregnancy are a matter of
notion and imagination run wild more often<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span>
than otherwise. A strong self-controlled
woman is not troubled with any longings for
things beyond her reach. Hence should she
desire a thing that it will be difficult for her
to get, let her exercise reason, and good
judgment in the denial, and the longing will
not trouble her.</p>
<p>Finally the woman during pregnancy
should cultivate self-control, and be governed
by common sense in every event. Let wisdom
guide her in the habits of exercise, eating,
occupation, society and recreation, and
as a rule all will go well, and there will be no
cause for worry throughout the entire term.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIII">CHAPTER XIII.<br />
<span class="smaller">DEVELOPMENT OF THE FŒTUS.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Minuteness of the Germ of Human Life.—The
Embryo Cell and Its Store of Food.—Its Journey
to the Uterus.—Meeting the Spermatozoön, Conception
Occurs.—The Changes Which take Place
in the Uterus.—Life is Present the Moment Conception
takes Place.—The Mysterious Development
of the Embryo.—The Sin of Tampering with the
Work of the Infinite.—The Various Changes in
the Development of the Embryo and Fœtus set
Forth.—The Changes that Occur each Month.—Parenthood
the Benediction of Husband and
Wife.</p>
</div>
<p>How does the tiny speck, so tiny that it
cannot be seen with the naked eye, only one
hundred and twentieth of an inch in diameter,
how does this tiny atom of matter, begin
in its growth, continue and develop into the
full grown child? This little germ or ovum,
the part furnished by the mother, in the creation
of a human being, contains the germinal
vesicle, or embryo cell, and the stored
up food for the early days of life after conception
takes place. After the ovum leaves<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>
the ovary, somewhere in its journey to the
uterus or womb, it is met by the spermatozoön,
or male element of conception, and by their
mysterious union the new life is begun.</p>
<p>Coincident with the impregnation of the
ovum, active changes are inaugurated in the
uterus. The organ becomes more vascular,
increases in size, its lining is thickened and
softened, thus in all ways preparing a soft
bed, or cradle, for the nesting time and
growth of the little one entrusted to its care.
During pregnancy the uterus enlarges from
an area of sixteen square inches to three
hundred and thirty-nine square inches in the
fully developed state. After delivery it does
not resume its former shape and size, but retains
vestiges of the condition through which
it has passed, its retained weight having increased
fully an ounce and a half.</p>
<p>In some inconceivable way a notion has
become prevalent, that there is no life in the
embryo until motion is felt by the mother.
How life enters then has been left by them
an unexplained mystery. That this professed
belief is but a device of Satan, to excuse the
shameless taking of life in-utero, is the only
method of accounting for its prevalence.
Life, organized life, begins the very moment
conception takes place, and is as surely life<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span>
as that which exists when the little active
creature is placed in its mother’s arms.</p>
<p>After conception takes place, while yet the
embryo is on the way to its nesting place,
many and rapid changes take place. By a
process of segmentation or division, the contents
of the ovum are broken into innumerable
granular cells, from which mass the
whole organization of the embryo is gradually
evolved.</p>
<p>How some of these cells are transformed
into muscle, others into bone or cartilage or
nerves, or brain, or connective tissue, when
no difference can be distinguished in the various
cells, is among the mysteries of life
which science has not yet fathomed. That
it does this we all know; how it does it belongs
wholly within the knowledge of creative
wisdom.</p>
<p>In tracing the steps of progress in the life
of the embryo, which I shall soon give, let
every young person who reads these pages
learn once and forever, that when she is
tempted to rid herself of the product of conception,
even the next moment after conception
has taken place, she is tempted to murder,
as surely as though the child were in her
arms, a living visible bit of humanity, and
she were plotting to take its life. It is a terrible<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span>
thing to tamper with the work of the
Infinite, and with nature’s inexorable laws,
and punishment is sure to follow.</p>
<p>When the embryo has finished its journey,
and has settled itself for a long stay of nine
months, not of rest, but of ceaseless activity,
of growth and development so marvelous and
sure, it begins to draw its life from the uterus,
for the stored up food in the ovum is already
exhausted. At first it draws by absorption
through the membrane enclosing it, then
through the placenta or “afterbirth,” which
is created as the medium of communication
for the life-giving force, between mother and
child.</p>
<p>Up to the close of the third month we call
this little new life an embryo; after this time
it is called a fœtus. For a full description of
the embryo and fœtus, in the various stages
of development, we copy from Leavitt’s
Science and Art of Obstetrics.</p>
<p>“<i>The First Month.</i>—The embryo in the
first week of gestation, is a minute, gelatinous
and semi-transparent mass, of a greyish
color, presenting to the unaided eye no definite
traces of either head or extremities.
The entire ovum measures but one-fourth of
an inch, and the embryo but one-twelfth;
but during the next week they double in dimensions.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span>
The coverings of the child are
developed, and it is attached to the uterus,
but does not yet draw its life from it. At
the close of the month the ovum is about the
size of a pigeon’s egg, and weighs about forty
grains. The embryo is about three-fourths
of an inch in extreme length, and about one-third
of an inch in direct measurement as it
is coiled up. The structures have so little
bulk, that when ruptured they easily escape
attention, in abortions, generally passing with
a clot.</p>
<p>“<i>Second Month.</i>—At eight weeks the
ovum is about the size of a hen’s egg, and it
weighs from one hundred and eighty to
three hundred grains, and is about two-thirds
of an inch in length from head to caudal
curve. Its independent circulatory system
is forming: indications of the external generative
organs are visible: and ossification has
begun in several parts of the body.</p>
<p>“<i>Third Month.</i>—The embryo weighs
from three hundred to four hundred grains,
and measures from two and a half to three
and a half inches in length. The forearm is
well formed and the fingers are discernible.
The umbilical or navel cord is about two and
a half inches in length. The head is relatively
large, the neck separates it from the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span>
trunk, and the eyes are prominent. The
chorion has lost most of its villi, and the
placenta is formed. Points of ossification
are present in most of the bones. Thin
membranous nails appear on the fingers and
toes. Sex may be determined by presence or
absence of the uterus.</p>
<p>“<i>Fourth Month.</i>—The fœtus weighs five
or six ounces, and is about five inches long.
Its sex is more distinct; movements are visible.
The convolutions of the brain are beginning
to form: ossification is extending:
the placenta is increasing in size, and the
cord is about twelve inches long. The head
is one-fourth the length of the whole body.
The sutures and fontanelles are widely
separated. Hair begins to appear on the
scalp. If born, the fœtus may live three or
four hours.</p>
<p>“<i>Fifth Month.</i>—Fœtal weight has increased
to ten ounces, and length to about
nine inches. The head is still relatively
large. Fine hair, (lanugo) appears over the
whole body. Fœtal movements can be felt
by the mother. If born the fœtus can live
but a few hours.</p>
<p>“<i>Sixth Month.</i>—Weight about twenty-four
ounces, length eleven inches. Fat is found
in the subcutaneous cellular tissue. Hair is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>
darker and more abundant. The membrana
pupillaris exists but the eyelids separate. If
born at this time the fœtus breathes freely,
but life is retained only a few hours, with
rare exceptions.</p>
<p>“<i>Seventh Month.</i>—Weight from three to
four pounds, length fourteen to fifteen inches.
The skin is wrinkled, of red color and
covered with vernix caseosa. The pupillary
membrane disappears. If younger than
twenty-eight weeks it is not likely to live.</p>
<p>“<i>Eighth Month.</i>—Weight from four to
five pounds, length from sixteen to eighteen
inches. Development is now rather in thickness
than length. The nails are nearly perfect,
and the lanugo is disappearing from the
face. The navel is gradually approaching
the centre of the body, until now it has
nearly reached the median point. The cranial
bones are easily molded under pressure,
a point to be remembered as bearing on the
question of induced labor in pelvic deformity.</p>
<p>“<i>Ninth Month</i>—or at term.—At the end
of pregnancy the fœtus weighs an average of
six and a half or seven pounds, and measures
about twenty inches in length. The average
weight of mature males is greater than that
of females. At birth the fœtus is covered
with vernix caseosa, a whitish tenacious substance,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>
composed of a mixture of surface
epithelium, down and the products of sebaceous
glands. During intra-uterine life it
serves as a protection for the skin against the
amniotic fluid. It can be removed thoroughly
only by preceding the use of water by a free
use of oil.”</p>
<p>So the baby grows until it reaches intra-uterine
maturity, and comes into our arms for
cherishing. Pity, pity the little one that
comes with no love to receive it, and pity
more the mother of such a child. No woman
has a right to marry, unless she desires offspring
and is willing to fit herself for maternity.
No man has a right to take upon
himself the sacred vows that make him husband,
unless he comprehends all that it
means, and is measurably ready to meet its
duties and responsibilities. With such preparation,
and such understanding upon entering
matrimony, we should see a nobler,
stronger race of men and women in the coming
generations.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIV">CHAPTER XIV.<br />
<span class="smaller">BABY’S WARDROBE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Question That Comes with Fluttering Signs of
Life.—Importance of Wise Choice of Material and
Style of Dress.—The Blessedness of Mother’s Joy
in Preparing Baby’s Clothing.—The Questions of
Dress Important.—Formerly Seemingly Planned
for Discomfort.—The “Binder” an Instrument of
Torture.—Better Methods now Prevail.—The
Napkin.—How to Establish Regular Habits for
Baby.—The Pinning Blanket.—The Little Shirt.—Baby’s
Earliest and Best Dress Described.—The
Complete Wardrobe Described.—The Furnishings
of the Basket.—Things Which are not to Baby’s
Taste or Comfort.—The Later Wardrobe.</p>
</div>
<p>“Wherewithal shall my baby be
clothed?” is a question that comes to every
expectant mother—if her heart be filled with
love for it—when she feels the first fluttering
signs of life that announce to her listening
heart, “Mother, I’m coming;” and she delights
to prepare for her little one the softest,
daintiest, richest things that her purse and
time will allow. If she is not always wise in
her choice of material and trimming and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span>
style of dress, it is because of ignorance, more
often than otherwise. Sometimes, we fear
from pride that her baby should make as fair
a show in the flesh as the babies of her
friends, regardless of healthfulness or suitableness.</p>
<p>I would it were possible for every mother
to prepare the first clothing of her coming
little ones, all herself; for in such quiet times
as women sit down to their needle alone, in
the waiting hours, thoughts and plans and
high ambitions for the little ones hold them
fast, and the heart warms with each dainty
stitch, while the mother love kindles and
grows, and the castles are built and peopled
with baby and its friends and lovers. Far
more often than we think, the choicest, tenderest
thoughts the woman is capable of, and
the highest, noblest ambitions of what her
baby shall be, and what she shall be to it,
are sewed into the little garments, with her
swiftly flying needle; and more than this,
are woven into the very fibre and being of the
little one.</p>
<p>The question of the baby’s dress is one of
large importance, and one which in the past
few years has received the attention which is
its due. Formerly the comfort of the baby
was little planned for; and more than that,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span>
it almost seems, as we consider it to-day, that
the clothing of the little one was planned for
discomfort; as if a sacrificial thought must
enter into its first experiences, to insure a
proper amount of self-abnegation in later
life. Now all this is changed and self-sacrifice
and endurance are taught the baby in a
more wholesome way.</p>
<p>That instrument of torture, the band, or
more properly the “binder,” has been relegated
to the shades by all sensible people, and
the thought that the All-wise Creator planned
and formed the human body so wisely that it
needed none of man’s inventions to supplement
His creative wisdom, is thoroughly believed
by the many to-day; and the baby is
given the freedom in dress that its growing
body and active limbs demand.</p>
<p>First of all the diaper or napkin must be
considered. The large, heavy cotton flannel
diapers, which are used so widely to-day,
deserve one criticism and caution. There is
danger, if they are used in the earlier weeks
that too much thickness will be folded down
between the legs, and the hips be thrown out
of the natural position, and thus an awkward,
ungraceful gait follow. Something much
softer and more yielding should be used at
first and this danger will be obviated. A<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>
heavy, firm cheesecloth I have found all that
was necessary, and these should not be made
more than eighteen inches square, for use in
the early weeks. Ten or fifteen of these will
be an ample supply, and they should never
be dried without a good rinsing after each
using. The cotton flannel squares can be
used later, but always with care not to fold
too much between the legs, and so crowd the
soft yielding bones. On the other hand the
mother must guard against pinning the napkin
too tightly about the hips, for this draws
the hips forward and the little one is in danger
of becoming knock-kneed. These seem
simple cautions, but many thoughtful women
do not think of them.</p>
<p>The napkin can very soon be spared the soil
of the baby’s regular movements, and only
used as a guard against irregularities. The
baby while yet very young can be accustomed
to a regular morning movement, and can be
held out while dressing, over the little chamber,
and its bowels moved daily. Should
there not be a degree of regularity about the
time naturally, it can soon become accustomed
to one, by aiding at a stated time, with
a little soap suppository which should be moistened
before being inserted in the rectum.
This habit fixed and the greatest annoyance<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>
in the care of the baby is done away
with.</p>
<p>All that is required in a band, is a soft
piece of flannel, six or eight inches wide,
with the edge turned over, once only, on the
right side, and catch-stitched down. These
are to be worn only until the navel cord is
detached and the stump healed, then what is
worn over the shoulders and legs is sufficient
for the abdomen, hence no band is needed
for warmth.</p>
<p>Next in the Gertrude garments is the substitute
for the pinning blanket, which is no
pinning blanket at all, but a simple little garment,
long-sleeved, high-necked, and cut in
one piece, like the outer garment or slip. I
would suggest but one change in this, and
for what I consider a good and sufficient
reason. If the little pinning-blanket, of the
Gertrude pattern, is soiled, both that and all
the outer garments must be removed when
the change is made, which may be necessary
more than once a day.</p>
<p>The soft wool shirts, that are found in all
first-class stores, I always recommend, and
to take the place of the skirt part of the little
gabrielle described above, I fashion a pinning
blanket as follows: Procure Shaker flannel—half
wool and half cotton, as by this material<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span>
shrinkage is avoided—that is as nearly
a yard square as possible, cut off one corner,
making the bias edge of the triangular piece
cut off about eighteen inches long; face the
edge from which the corner has been cut,
with a bias piece of the flannel an inch and a
half wide, turning it over on the right side.
Turn over the remaining sides of the blanket
on the right side, cross-stitching it down
neatly, and you have the little garment complete.</p>
<p>After you have put on the band, diaper
and shirt, place the middle of the faced edge
of the pinning blanket at the middle of the
back of the shirt, at the waist line and secure
it with a tiny safety pin; lap the two ends at
the front and pin them, and then see how
beautifully the two side corners lap over the
feet, and the lower corner, when brought up
and pinned loosely, that ample room be given
the legs to stretch out and move about at
will, encases the abdomen and legs of the
baby in a smooth soft covering, guiltless of
seam or gather. When this is soiled it is a
small matter to change it compared with
changing the skirt and slip of the Gertrude
costume.</p>
<p>Over these for the first weeks all that is
needed is a linen lawn slip, twenty-seven inches<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>
in length from shoulders to bottom of hem, if it
be summer, or a wrapper of French flannel
or outing flannel if it be winter. Dressed in
this simple and unencumbered manner, the
little one will sleep and wake, and eat and
sleep again, stretching itself in happy content,
and growing as nature intended it should in
unconstrained freedom.</p>
<p>Three each of shirts and bands, and a half
dozen each of the little pinning blankets and
slips, a dozen and a half of the small diapers,
and one or two squares of flannel to wrap the
baby in when taken from the bed, will furnish
the baby’s wardrobe well and amply for the
first few months.</p>
<p>During these first months a more elaborate
wardrobe may be furnished, although it is far
better to keep it in as simple and light clothing
as possible for the time until the clothes
are shortened, when it will be taken out more
and will need a little more attention to its
toilet. In place of the linen lawn slips a nice
thing is slips made of china silk. These are
easily laundered and are soft and a little nicer
than the cotton dress.</p>
<p>For the basket where the baby, it is hoped,
will spend most of its time for weeks, you
should have a thick soft pad of cotton covered
with cheese cloth and quilted, not tied,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>
loosely, to cover the pillow placed in the bottom
of the basket; a square of flannel over
this, if you desire, for a blanket, and a soft
knotted comfort, with the knots outside, for
the cover. The tiny pillow completes the
furnishing for the sleeping basket. Put carefully
away for remembrances all the handsomely
embroidered pillow-slips, daintily
trimmed with ruffles and ribbons, and the
elaborate counterpanes of heavy piqué, made
heavier with yards of hamburg trimming and
ribbon. These will answer finely for heirlooms,
but are not at all suited to either the
baby’s taste or comfort.</p>
<p>The soft knitted socks will be needed for a
winter baby, and perhaps for summer, if the
baby is delicate, the feet moving about,
will get cold easily. But far better than encumber
the little one with clothing, warm the
basket bed with a hot water bottle or two.</p>
<p>For the later wardrobe, little more will be
needed than a slight modification of these already
described. We should consider the
baby’s comfort, first, last, and all the time.
However proud we may be of it we should
not allow ourselves to dress it for exhibition.
The <em>baby</em> is the centre of attraction, not what
it may be dressed in. A supply of the linen
lawn or china silk slips, made larger but not<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>
longer, two or three flannel skirts, fashioned
without gathers at the waist, and attached to
a thin muslin waist without sleeves; two or
three cashmere or flannel jackets, for the little
one is large enough to be out of its basket
a part of the time, and needs a wrap that will
not fall off easily, and leave it exposed.
With this list you have all that is needed until
the short clothes are provided; then a
more generous supply will be needed, but
never anything more elaborate.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XV">CHAPTER XV.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE CHOICE OF PHYSICIAN AND NURSE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Choice of Physician and Nurse of Real Consequence.—Choose
a Physician Whom You can Trust Implicitly.—A
Cleanly Man.—The Wife Should
Make the Selection.—A Christian Physician.—Choice
of Nurse.—Wife most Capable of Making
Choice.—Advice of the Physician Desirable.—She
Should be Pleasing to the Wife.—Cleanliness.—Gentleness.—A
Person of Individuality.—Neatness
in Manner and Clothing.—Should be Intelligent.—Physician
and Nurse Should Work in Sympathy.—A
Good Cook.—Able to Converse, but
not a Gossip.—Many Such Physicians and Nurses.</p>
</div>
<p>The choice of a physician and nurse for
the ordeal of maternity, is a matter of real
consequence. It is not enough that you have
a physician whom you have trusted in the
common ailments of life, and perforce must
have him now, lest he think it strange; the
question is, do you desire him to minister to
you at this time?</p>
<p>Choose a clean man or woman as you value
your life and comfort. Choose one to whom
you can pin your trust, and in whom you can<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>
confide implicitly. Choose one who is above
reproach, and can inspire you with courage
and hopefulness. Choose a clean doctor
physically. They who do not delight in clean
linen, and clean hands, will hardly delight in
cleanliness in their attentions to you.</p>
<p>Finally the wife should have the unbiased
choice of the physician, unless there is some
very good reason why she is not capable of a
reasonable choice. Of course it is far better
that the choice of one should be the choice
of the other, and that there be perfect harmony
between husband and wife in the
choice made, both for their own peace of
mind, and for the comfort of the physician.
There are many cases on record of labor
being delayed, and much discomfort being
caused by disappointment in the physician
desired.</p>
<p>Above all choose a Christian physician.
The counsel of the Great Physician is never
more needed than in birth travail, and it is
comforting to feel that the human friend upon
whom you depend, knows this power and
helpfulness and can direct you to Him.</p>
<p>In the choice of a nurse as great care and
consideration are needed. Do not depend
upon the selection made by a friend; no one
can choose for you. You alone are the one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span>
concerned, and you alone are capable of
making the choice. It is well to ask your
physician to recommend a nurse, or more
than one, and then ask for an interview, and
mark well every point, before you make your
choice. Remember you are to have her
about you almost constantly for two or more
weeks, and unless she is pleasing to you in
the outset, depend upon it, she will almost
inevitably become displeasing to you before
her term of service is over.</p>
<p>She must be very cleanly in her person,
and guilty of no idiosyncrasies in dress or
manner; of gentle voice, quiet and subdued,
clean of speech, and self-conscious enough
to know her ability and prove it. She must
have a strong individuality, and an authority
second to none save the physician’s. She
must not wear squeaky shoes, or wear rustling
dresses, or bright colors, or jewelry or
fancy trimmings of any sort. Quietness, unobtrusiveness,
ladylikeness, and simplicity
should characterize all her dress and manner
and habits.</p>
<p>She need not be pretty, but she must have
the attractiveness of a good face, and a kindly
eye. The prettier, the more cultured and attractive,
the more versatile, the better, for
she has a critical trio, or perhaps quartet to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span>
please, and must stand between her patient
and all annoyances, between her patient
and all pleasures and desires that might be
harmful. She is to be the care-taker of mother
and baby, and the court of appeal, of husband,
mother and all other relatives. If she
is vacillating and weak she can claim the respect
of none of these. If she be loud and
imperious in her authority, lacking the quiet
dignity upon which real power is based, she
will have little influence with either her patient
or the family.</p>
<p>Further the physician and nurse must be
in sympathy, or they cannot work together.
The physician is the authority, and the nurse
like Eve to Adam, an help meet for him.
She is to have no authority independent of
the physician, save in an emergency, when
she must sometimes act without waiting to
consult him. Again the nurse must know
what to do and how to do it, without asking
questions. She must see and do with a
quiet easy air of generalship, that will make
her patient wonder when so much gets done,
and how it could be done with so little noise
or friction.</p>
<p>The nurse must be an excellent, attractive
and inviting cook. She must serve everything
in a pleasing way, and not so great a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span>
quantity but that her patient will wish there
were more.</p>
<p>Finally she must not be a talker; she can
read to you, converse with you, but never
gossip. The more she knows of books and
people the pleasanter her companionship.</p>
<p>Such doctors and such nurses, do you say,
are hard to find? No, there are many of
them, but I fear the search for them is not
always made with wise discrimination.
When such are sought for and demanded,
they will come to the front.</p>
<p>I fear we have too often sought for what
we thought was ability, but which rightly interpreted
meant reputation, and too seldom
for real worth. Ian MacLaren’s doctor of
Drumtochty was not a man of wide or great
reputation, but of unlimited painstaking and
faithfulness. So are many of what the world
calls common men. Not that this true greatness
does not ever go with a wide reputation,
but that it can as well be found with the
common painstaking, less gifted practitioner,
and we should not forget it.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVI">CHAPTER XVI.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE BIRTH CHAMBER.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Memory’s Dissimilar Pictures of Birth-Chamber
Scenes.—Newborn Souls Welcomed to Mother’s
Arms and Love.—The Rebellious Mother with
Empty Heart and Unwilling Arms.—The Older
Children Reflect the Spirit of the Mother toward
the Newcomer.—Illustrations of Conduct of Intelligent
Children toward Mother at Birth Period.—How
to Calculate Date of Confinement.—Birth
Chamber no Terror for Those who Live Hygienically.—Anæsthetics.—Their
Use Explained.—Allaying
Anxiety.—Earliest Premonitions.—Preparation.—The
Three Stages of Labor.—Tying the
Cord.—The Rest and Joy that Complete and
Crown Labor.</p>
</div>
<p>Some of the darkest, and some of the
brightest pictures of life, hung on the walls
of memory, have been painted for me in the
birth chamber. Bright when the little newborn
soul is welcomed to a mother’s arms
and love; love that is months long and deep.
Dark when there has been a bitter rebellion
that she must be a mother at all, and the
little one comes into an empty heart and
unwilling arms.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span></p>
<p>Another class of pictures comes to me; of
the children trained by these mothers. The
one class, children who are angry and rebellious
that more little ones must come into
the home, prepared to greet them with a
hateful welcome, and looking upon their
parents with a jealous distrust, thinking they
must be in some way responsible for this unhappy
state of affairs. Is it not true that
such children are but the echo of their parents’
hearts? The other class of children,
looking with love for the advent of the new
brother or sister, cherishing it more and more
every day, and giving their parents loving
confidence.</p>
<p>Two of the bright pictures come to my
mind. A little daughter who had been
wisely taught where babies are first cradled,
became in her seventh year a little woman in
comfort and care-taking consideration of the
dear mamma. “What can I do to help you,
mamma, dear? and if you should be taken
sick all alone here, you would call me and
let me help you, wouldn’t you, mamma?”
were questions often heard, and they sank
freighted with comforting love, into the
mother’s heart. This same daughter is now
budding into womanhood and prepared to
meet all its responsibilities and temptations,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span>
and yet withal, modest and winning in her
girlish, wise womanliness.</p>
<p>Another picture. I was called one night
to attend a lady in her fifth confinement.
The husband had come for me and leaving
me at the door of his home had gone for the
nurse. On entering, I found the only attendant
of the mother, her twelve year old
son. With her hands in his, and his face
full of sympathy and anxiety for her suffering,
he was giving her all the assistance that
he could. Quiet and dignified he left the
room as I entered, but not before I had read
in his face the lesson that had sunk into his
very soul; that mothers suffered for their
children, and for this should have all the love
and tender consideration they could give
them. He was not an attractive boy, nor a
tractable one, but the dear mother had taken
the very safest means to hold him to herself,
and a mother-anchored boy or girl will not
go far wrong.</p>
<p>So much for some retrospects of the birth
chamber, and now to the plain practical
knowledge needed for those who are to experience
its realities.</p>
<p>In reckoning the period of gestation the
rule most easily followed is this. Add seven
days to the date of the last menstruation, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>
count ahead nine months, or backward three
months, and you have the probable time of
confinement. Should you pass this time you
would probably go on for two weeks, as the
most susceptible times for conception to take
place are in the week following menstruation
or a couple of days preceding the next period;
which makes a difference of two weeks
in the calculation.</p>
<p>If the bowels have been kept open by
proper diet and care, and if the patient has
kept up her daily exercise and baths, she will
come to the birth chamber well prepared and
it need have no terrors for her.</p>
<p>To-day when anæsthetics are given as a
rule, not an exception, the chief bugbear of
the parturient is lost or charmed away. It
does not need that the anæsthetic be given
to a surgical degree, but simply sufficient to
take away the severity of the pain. I have
found for the lying-in room the most satisfactory
anæsthetic to be the one, two, three,
mixture; by which I mean a mixture of alcohol,
chloroform, and ether, in the proportion
of one part of alcohol, two parts of
chloroform, and three parts of ether. These
parts may be varied however as the attending
physician desires. It is not a quick anæsthetic,
but serves every purpose needed, unless<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span>
full anæsthesia is sought. The patient
can manage this herself, and it thus serves
two purposes, giving her something beside
her discomfort to think of, and taking away
the pain so that there is little left to think
about.</p>
<p>Take a light drinking glass, fill half full of
absorbent cotton, and drop a few drops of
the mixture upon it; at the beginning of a
pain, or a little before, take a half dozen full
breaths, and the pain is toned down to a
very bearable thing. The patient can hold
the glass, and there is no danger of her taking
too much, as her hand will drop when
she has enough to render her a little drowsy.
This should rarely be given, until the second
stage of labor begins, as it will sometimes retard
if given in the first stage.</p>
<p>In the last few days before labor, there is
often a nervous restlessness on the part of
many women which can easily be appeased
by the physician. A few questions, an examination
if necessary, the quiet assurance
that everything is all right, will do much to
quiet the unrest. The home friends can likewise
aid in this by judiciously suggesting
changes, and recreation a little out of the
ordinary, or a loved visitor will tide over the
intervening days beautifully.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span></p>
<p>There are at times during the last few
days, pains that simulate labor pains, and
make the time drag heavily. Try and put
by all thoughts of anxiety, as you will have
warning sufficient to give you time for every
needed preparation. Should your pains come
with any degree of regularity, consult your
physician about it, that he may be on his
guard and prepared for a call at any moment.
As soon as you have the premonition
of regular pains, unless the bowels have
moved freely already that day, they should
be moved by a full enema or injection.
During the waiting time occupy yourself as
pleasantly as possible, keeping about the
house or room, until obliged to take to the
bed, as the time will seem shorter and you
can aid much by keeping about on the feet.
Be cheerful, courageous, and strong; remembering
all the time that you are only fulfilling
a <em>natural</em> law, and that the <em>large majority</em>
of cases are simple and uncomplicated,
and give no trouble whatever.</p>
<p>Let no one into the room who has not a
cheery word to say and a bright face to give
strength to the word. Long faces and solemnity
are not wanted here, but joy and gladness
that the mystery of birth, the coming into
life of a new creation, is to be enacted, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span>
this her time of “deliverance” should be
celebrated with joy.</p>
<p>Should any foolish one dare whisper, banish
them at once, and see to it that they do
not return. If you fear to offend, send them
on some needed errand that will take several
hours, and pray that it will all be over before
they return to rejoice with you.</p>
<p>There are three well marked stages of
labor. The first is perhaps to the novice the
most tedious, as one cannot see the progress
made, and there is a feeling that nothing is being
accomplished. This first stage is what is
familiarly called the getting-ready stage, that
is, the opening of the mouth of the uterus,
ready for the expulsion of the child. Many
women keep about their work, paying but little
attention to this stage, while a goodly
number are unconscious of it entirely, the
contractions taking place in so orderly a manner,
that no pain is felt, or if any, very
slight. At this stage if tedious, a good sitz
bath will afford comfort, and aid in the
regular contractions. Often most of the discomfort
at this time is because of nervousness.
Keep cool, jolly and cheerful and all
will go well.</p>
<p>When there is a natural desire to bear
down with a pain, the second or expulsive<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span>
stage has begun. Then you may administer
your anæsthetic, giving as described above.</p>
<p>Often this stage is very short and easily
borne, as the patient can note the progress
made, and sees the end nearer. A recent
patient who had had two children before, felt
very little discomfort during the first stage,
and recognizing the beginning of the second,
remarked at the first pain, “That was not
very hard, but think how many more there
must be.” The next pain came, and she
had hardly time to reach the bed, before the
little one was ushered into existence. The
chances are that if your dress has been
hygienic, your exercise what it should have
been, your baths kept up faithfully, that you
will be one of those who will be surprised at
the ease of your labor.</p>
<p>The second stage terminates with the
birth of the child. A rest follows this of
from a quarter to a half an hour, when follows
the expulsion of the placenta, or afterbirth,
which is the third stage.</p>
<p>A word here as to the best method of tying
the placentic cord. A fancy obtains among a
few physicians that the cord need not be tied,
if the child is not severed from the mother
until the cord has ceased to pulsate. However
this may be, I am sure you will feel more<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span>
secure if the cord is well tied. The latest
and most approved method and one which is
surest to prevent hemorrhage, is this. Tie
the placentic cord at a distance of about three
inches from the body of the child, sever it
just beyond the place where it is tied, then
fold it back and with the same thread tie the
placentic cord again an inch from the child,
leaving the loop of cord as it is, until it dries
and falls off. The fold and double tie make
assurance doubly sure as far as hemorrhage
is concerned.</p>
<p>The rest which follows the close of labor,
rest of body and mind, can be understood
only when experienced, no words can explain
it. The labor is over, all that has been told
you of terror and danger has not been yours,
and the pain is all forgotten in the joy that a
child is born, is yours, and you hug it to
your heart for very joy. Cherish it, dear
mother, rejoice in it, and train it to become a
truly great child of a noble mother.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVII">CHAPTER XVII.<br />
<span class="smaller">SURROUNDINGS AND AFTER-CARE OF THE MOTHER.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Maternity Should Have the Largest and Brightest
Room in the House.—It is Her Coronation
Room.—Simplicity of Labor with Healthy
Women.—Science Has Reduced Risk to the
Minimum.—The Exaltation of Motherhood.—The
Rest after Labor.—How to Prepare a Bed for the
Parturient.—Deliverance of Mother from Friends
and Visitors.—Sanitary Pads.—Regular Nursing.—Undisturbed
Sleep.—No Binder Necessary for
Mother.—The Care of the Breasts.—Diet.—Sitting
Up.—Six or Eight Weeks Needed to Regain Normal
Condition.—The Use of the Douche.—Sore
Nipples.—The Bearing of Children not to be
Dreaded.—The Joy of Motherhood.</p>
</div>
<p>The room chosen for the lying-in should
be as large and warm and sunshiny as any
room in the house. It should be far enough
from the living rooms to be quiet the greater
part of the day, and yet not so far as to feel
isolated. The centre of the home at this
time is the little mother, and the room in
which she rests after her perilsome journey is
the throne room, where love and homage<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span>
crown her queen, and welcome right royally
the little prince or princess, who has come to
share her reign. Nothing unpleasant should
be allowed to enter this room, for the happy
and quick getting up of the patient depends
much upon the smooth running of the home
machinery. One hour of mental disturbance,
may add days to the lying-in, and one discordant
person can make more unrest and
trouble than all the others combined can overcome.
Therefore look well to the helpers in
the home, that they be in harmony with the
home-keeper.</p>
<p>Had we to deal with labor in its simplicity,
as a physiological act, natural and uncomplicated
with faulty living and semi-invalidism,
the physician’s and attendant’s duties in
the days following delivery, could be expressed
in few words; but owing to the results
of our boasted civilization and high
pressure living, which too often in its mad
rush has robbed womankind of the sturdy
physique, and sound brawn and endurance
so much needed in the everyday emergencies
of life, she comes to the ordeal of maternity
badly fitted for its strain, and with little
or no reserve power, either to carry her
through the hours of incomparable pain, or
to aid in her restoration in the days following.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span>
In other words, labor has come to be
pathological or abnormal, instead of physiological
or normal, in the majority of cases,
and as such, the attendant cares have come
to be correspondingly onerous.</p>
<p>That great changes have been made in the
past thirty years since the promulgation of
the germ theory of disease, in the management
of the lying-in room is unquestioned.
The patient is no longer left to the recuperative
forces of nature alone, but is aided as
well by every wise provision of art and
science, and as a consequence the mortality
rate of parturients has been reduced to a
minimum.</p>
<p>But something more than getting the
mother up is desired, namely, getting her up
as well and strong as ever. Child-bearing
should not deplete a woman’s strength, neither
should it detract from her beauty and freshness,
but should add charms, even as it adds
to her mental and spiritual attractiveness by
the sweet consciousness and dignity that she
is a mother, and that henceforth a little soul
looks to her for the interpretation of life’s
meaning, and for the guiding of little feet
along its devious paths. Oh mother, what a
privilege; that you may shape this fair thing
into a soul to your thought and God’s liking,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span>
for His promises are sure along these lines.
Listen! “Instead of thy fathers shall be
thy children, whom thou mayest make
princes in all the earth.” As if the dear
Lord were comforting His daughters in going
out from the home nest, and the peculiar
protecting care of the father, by reminding
them that henceforth a sublimer thing awaited
them than the protection of a father’s love;
namely, themselves assuming the part of
parent, enfolding and shaping in their love,
the little lives, according to His will, into
fair and noble souls that shall bless the world
and make it richer for their living.</p>
<p>Immediately following delivery, the physician
in charge should see that his patient is
made comfortable. A rest of half an hour
at least should be allowed her, while physician
and nurse look after the little one. Then
lacerations if any must be seen to—for they
will occur occasionally even in the most
skillfully conducted labors.</p>
<p>If the gown is turned up under the shoulders
during delivery, and held securely in
place with a safety pin, there will be no
necessity for changing this, and a toilet of
the bruised and sore parts will take but a
few moments, and the mother will be ready
for her long delightful rest.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span></p>
<p>It may not be out of place to give directions
for making the bed preparatory to the
confinement. There is a right way and a
wrong way for doing even this. The bed
should be made double. First over the mattress
should be placed a square of rubber
sheeting—or oilcloth if the rubber is not
easily obtainable—large enough to cover the
entire middle of the bed, and within eighteen
inches of the head and foot. This
should be securely fastened at the four corners
with safety pins, and at the middle on
each edge, to prevent wrinkling. Over this
is placed a sheet covering the entire bed;
over this a sheet folded lengthwise, then
crosswise, to make a square; this is called
the draw sheet, and must be fastened at the
corners with safety pins. This is the first
bed and that which is to remain after the
toilet is made following delivery. Over this
a third sheet is placed covering the entire
bed, then another draw sheet fastened as the
other. These last two are removed with
small discomfort to the patient, after delivery,
and a clean fresh bed remains.</p>
<p>An excellent thing to insure greater cleanliness,
is to prepare a bag about two feet
square, made of old cotton cloth, and filled
to a thickness of three or four inches, with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span>
wheat bran. This, if placed directly under
the body will absorb all the discharges, and
can be burned when removed, and thus much
washing be saved.</p>
<p>Now the mother should be left several
hours undisturbed; for she needs rest, and
must have it. One rule should be made inviolable
for every lying-in room; namely,
no company should be allowed, other than
the immediate family, until the patient is
sitting up; then she will be strong enough to
bear the “ohs” and “ahs” of admiration,
and the wise and otherwise volumes of advice,
upon the care and training of the little
one, which will be gratuitously bestowed.
The nurse will have no difficulty in carrying
this out if she have the physician’s authority
to support her. Many little mothers have
been hindered in their recovery, and have
finally gotten up weak and nervous, through
the indiscretions of their thoughtless, if well-meaning
friends. The heartfelt prayer of
every parturient should be, “Lord, I am delivered
of my child safely, now deliver me
from my friends.”</p>
<p>Before confinement two dozen of napkins
or pads should be prepared for the mother in
the following manner. Get an ordinary
grade of cheese cloth, and enclose in a square<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span>
of it folded corner-wise, a strip of medicated
cotton six inches long. These can be used
as napkins for the mother safely, as they are
aseptic, and after they are soiled can be
burned. These are comparatively inexpensive,
as a pound of cotton will make the entire
number.</p>
<p>If the confinement has been in every way
a normal one, the care necessary will be easily
given. To keep the baby quiet and contented,
and from the beginning free from
night nursing, that the mother may be insured
a good period of rest, is one of the
strongest aids to her speedy recovery. What
I mean by freedom from night feeding is
this. At ten o’clock the baby may be put to
the breast, and then not again until four or
five in the morning. That they can be thus
taught, and that they will thrive under it, I
have many times demonstrated; and that
the mother will thrive is a foregone conclusion.
This will be further discussed in the
chapter on the care of the baby.</p>
<p>No binder for the mother is necessary, as I
have in my own practice many times demonstrated.
It seems to me a reflection on the
creative work of the Maker. They are used
and recommended ostensibly as a support,
and to insure a good form after getting up;<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span>
while in reality they defeat the first purpose
by crowding down the uterus instead of holding
it in place; while the muscles of the
abdomen are quite capable of contracting
and insuring the former figure, without the
use of a binder.</p>
<p>On the day following delivery the physician
will see that the patient urinates freely,
and the bowels, if they have been kept open
before delivery, will need no attention until
nature calls for an evacuation. A simple
enema of warm water will be all that is
needed to aid in this. Immediately after delivery,
and after the toilet, to patients who
can take it, I recommend a cup of hot milk,
to others a cup of beef tea made from beef
extract, if more acceptable than the milk.</p>
<p>Until the mother’s milk is established, the
food should be light and simple, with not too
much of liquid to stimulate too great a flow
of milk. If the milk comes with a rush the
breasts may be painfully distended, and more
may be secreted than the baby will take. If so,
all that will be needed is a gentle rubbing of
the breasts from the circumference toward the
nipple, with the fingers dipped in hot lard.
The nurse if well chosen will be schooled
in this, and only enough milk should be
rubbed out to relieve the breasts, as very<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span>
soon the little one will need all that is
secreted.</p>
<p>After the milk is established the diet can
be more generous, and on the eighth day if
all goes well, the little mother can sit up in
bed to eat her meals; and after the tenth
day she may have her wrapper on and slip
out into a rocker for a few hours, but she
should avoid walking about for some days
yet. The reason for this carefulness? The
uterus which has enlarged from a tiny organ,
weighing a few ounces, to many times its
original size and weight, cannot regain its
original condition in a day. To quote from
Leavitt again. “In normal cases complete
involution, (<i>i. e.</i>, reduction to normal size),
is effected in <em>six or eight weeks</em>. The progress
of uterine diminution is graphically
shown by Heschl, from the weight of the
organ at different periods. Immediately after
delivery he found that it weighed twenty-two
to twenty-four ounces; in one week it was
reduced to nineteen to twenty-one ounces;
at the end of the second week it weighed ten
to eleven ounces; at the close of the third
week it weighed five to seven ounces; and at
eight weeks its weight was but a little in excess
of that which preceded the first pregnancy.”
All this methodical work of nature<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span>
may be greatly hindered by carelessness and
by getting up too early, hence, “make haste
slowly.”</p>
<p>The douche in the after care of the parturient
has been variously discussed. A hot
douche immediately following delivery, to
cleanse thoroughly the uterus of any clots or
bits of membrane that may be hiding there,
is, we believe, productive of no harm, and
may obviate much trouble thereafter. A
daily douche of hot water containing a little
calendula or listerine, is cleansing and is
often very grateful to the patient, but is not,
in the absence of unnatural conditions, a necessity.
Nature undisturbed knows how to
take care of the outlets, in cleansing and recuperation,
if all has gone well. In many
cases the douching is overdone, and is productive
of weakness rather than strength.</p>
<p>Should the nipples give trouble, from sensitiveness
or fissures, washing them off and
dusting them with calendulated boracic acid,
or simply bathing with calendula, may heal
them very quickly. If this alone fails, before
each nursing apply over the nipple a
piece of gold-beater’s skin—which may be
obtained of any reliable druggist—puncturing
with several openings to allow the milk to
pass through. Make a fresh application each<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span>
time, and by thus persistently keeping the
lips of the child from the sensitive surfaces
they are enabled to heal.</p>
<p>With all these careful directions, dear young
mothers, do not be frightened into thinking
that the bearing of children is something to
be dreaded, and something which involves
great danger. It is neither. The bearing
of children was intended in our creation and
is a natural, physiological process, and the
All-wise Creator has amply fitted us for it.
If we come to maternity unprepared, it must
be because of ignorance on our part how to
fit ourselves properly, or from unhygienic and
harmful ways of living. Heed the laws of
health, keep a sweet, trustful spirit, avoid excitement,
consider yourself strong enough for
the great office for which nature designed
you, and you will be the “joyful mother of
children.” Otherwise your joy will be mixed
with fear and a thousand foolish worries, that
totally unfit you for your high office.</p>
<p>Be happy that you are capable of becoming
a mother, be happy when you have the promise,
and be happiest of all when you hold your
little one in your arms. Train them, all that
are given you, to the fear of God, and for
the good of mankind, and you will be a great
woman, whether your name ever reaches beyond<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span>
your immediate neighborhood or not.
It is a great thing to become a mother of
children. To become God’s vicegerent in
creating and training souls that may bring
gladness and regeneration to the dark places
of the earth. Mothers, mothers! rate your
privileges high, and live and train to a glorious
fulfillment of noble purposes these gifts
from God.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XVIII">CHAPTER XVIII.<br />
<span class="smaller">CARE OF THE BABY.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The More Thoughtful Treatment of Babies Than
Formerly.—The First Attention That Baby Needs.—Its
Oil Bath.—The Care of the Eyes.—The
Care of the Placentic Cord.—Baby’s First Bath.—Its
Covering After the Bath.—The Basket.—Regularity
in Nursing.—Waking at Night.—Rocking
to Sleep.—Quantity of Food.—The Appointments
of the Nursery.—The Mother and the
Care of her own Children.—To her Children the
Mother Should be the Dearest Creature in the
World.—The Babies Born of Love.—The Babies
Born in Bitterness.—The Responsibilities and Joys
of Motherhood.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“It is a mother, said the Angel, who has already
given her child the welcome that makes a joyous
soul. He shall not miss her smile. He is what she
is. He will need love since he will give so much,
and she is all compact of love. She is one of the
forces of life. To be the mate of such a woman, the
father of such heirs, as she will give, is a fate a man
might pray God for. Love has not grown stale with
them, their children are the very blossoms of it.
Her eyes are deeper pools of love each year.”—<span class="smcap">Frances
Hodgson Burnett.</span></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span></p>
<p>Time was when the little one and its comfort
was not so thought of as it is to-day. It
was not considered that the little one in its
tedious journey had become tired and needed
rest; or that its change of abodes and climates
is so marked that the transition is not
an easy one. It was plunged into a full
bath, or exposed to the air, was sponged
over, often with soap that was not too pure,
and the only resulting virtue was the full expansion
of lungs, because of the lusty crying
from such rough handling.</p>
<p>To-day many physicians advocate wrapping
the new baby in cotton batting, covering
it quite closely, and laying it away in a
warm corner for several hours, until it becomes
in a measure adjusted to the change
of residence. Then, instead of a thorough
washing, it is treated to an oil bath before a
warm fire, with only a small part of its body
exposed at one time. Good clean lard is the
best emollient, as it removes most easily the
vernix caseosa with which the baby is more
or less covered. By some sweet oil is preferred.</p>
<p>After the little one has had its rest, the
nurse with her basket at hand, her oil on the
hearth well warmed, is ready to give it its first
dressing. Use a small piece of absorbent<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span>
cotton for the sponge to oil it with. Cover
the head well with the oil and with a soft
piece of old linen rub it off, and with it will
come the cheesy substance called vernix
caseosa, and leave the head clean. Do this
with the entire body, little by little, taking
great care that all the creases, which are
numerous, shall be thoroughly clean and left
well oiled, that no chafing may follow. For
a week your baby will need no other than
the oil bath daily, and the restfulness and
comfort of the little one will be expressed in
sleep, <em>sleep</em>, <em class="smcapuc">SLEEP</em>. The full bath in water
should be reached by degrees only; proceeding
from a partial bath with sponge, to a full
sponge bath; then as the baby grows stronger,
put it into the tub. Approached in this way,
few babies but will take their bath with delight,
and look forward to it daily.</p>
<p>As soon as the baby is born, even before
the cord is severed, the eyes of the little one
should be washed thoroughly. With a soft
bit of linen and a cup of warm water previously
boiled, the eyes can be readily cleansed,
and thus cared for, you will rarely have any
trouble with the eyes thereafter. Keep them
turned from the light while dressing, and at
no time let a strong light fall upon the eyes.</p>
<p>In dressing the cord, wrap it in a bit of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span>
absorbent cotton four inches square. Cut or
tear a hole in the middle of this, draw the
loop of cord through, wrap the cotton about
it and turn it up and hold it in place with
the band pinned only sufficiently close to hold
the cord and its dressing in place. The cord
will need no further attention until it has
dried and dropped off, unless the band in
slipping up pulls upon the dressing and irritates
the little one. Dressed in this manner
the navel heals smooth and clean, and will
need nothing further than a dusting with
calendulated boracic acid, should it not be
perfectly dry when the cord drops.</p>
<p>An excellent blanket to receive the child
from the bath is made of coarse Germantown
yarn, knitted into a strip three-quarters
of a yard wide, and a yard and a half in
length. This is sufficiently large to wrap
the baby well in until it is dry and ready to
be dressed. Some prefer the receiving apron.
This is made of coarse, heavy flannel, and
worn by the nurse at the time of the bath.
The baby is lifted from the tub, and wrapped
in the apron as in the blanket.</p>
<p>Now the little one is ready for its first suit,
as described in the chapter on baby’s dress,
and then to be put into its basket-bed for a
long nap. The cradle-basket hardly needs<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_205" id="Page_205">[205]</a></span>
further description, but a few words define
it. It is simply a well padded clothes-basket,
and may be ornamented as much or as little
as the fancy dictates. It serves as a snug
nest for the little one, as deep in the folds of
the soft blankets and dainty pads it is securely
sheltered from any draft, and artificial
warmth can be easily applied by hot water
bottles at the sides and foot.</p>
<p>This basket should be its bed for months,
or until it is outgrown. “But,” mothers
sometimes say to me, “it is so difficult to
reach over and get the baby for feeding in
the night;” and I respond, “A well trained
baby will have no night feeding.” Remember
that more can be taught the little one in
the first few weeks, than it can unlearn in the
next few months without very diligent effort
and patient persistence.</p>
<p>Should the little one make its advent in the
night, it is more easily broken to good habits,
than when it comes in the daytime. Why?
Because it will sleep the remainder of the
night and wake to be put to the breast some
time during the day, and then again toward
night, when it will be ready for another night
of sleep. Of course this may seem a theoretical
baby, and not at all real; and I will admit
that some of these perverse little specimens<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_206" id="Page_206">[206]</a></span>
of humanity put to flight every theory that
has been or can be made, while a few are
models from the beginning.</p>
<p>If he does not like his surroundings, and
refuses to be comforted, the night may have
to be turned in to day for a short time, when
gradually he must be gotten into line for
sleeping at night, and having his wakeful
time in the day. Fed at nine or ten at night,
if he is properly adjusted, he will make no
trouble until five or six in the morning.
Should he nestle and fret, often a change in
its position, a dry napkin, and a few drops
of warm water, will send him off to sleep
again for the remainder of the night.</p>
<p>That this can be done and the babies be
heartier and stronger for it, I have proven
with three of my very own, and many others
under my care. That the mother will be
stronger for having her night’s sleep uninterrupted
goes without saying. Should the baby
be troublesome at first and so get into bad
habits, the sooner it is broken of them and
gotten into right ways the better for the
mother and child.</p>
<p>However much the mother may enjoy it,
it is better for the little one not to be rocked
to sleep. Fed and placed in its bed, it will
soon fall asleep, and wake when its nap is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_207" id="Page_207">[207]</a></span>
over to lie there in content, should it not be
time for another meal.</p>
<p>The answer to the question, how often
shall the child be fed, is, that it depends upon
the baby. The rule, however, is once in two
hours the first two months, then lengthen the
time by half an hour, each month thereafter,
until it gets down to four meals a day, which
will be needed until it is a year old. Should
it be so unfortunate as to be a bottle-fed
baby, then the quantity must be regulated as
well. Beginning with two ounces, gradually
increase until the limit of six ounces has been
reached.</p>
<p>This is the rule, we have said, but not
quite all babies submit kindly to the rule.
You may be obliged to begin with a meal
once in an hour and a half, but if so, you can
soon regulate it to the proper time, and all
will be well. In talking with Dr. Shipman,
who was at the head of a large foundlings’
home in Chicago, he said, “The first rule
when a baby is brought in is to break it from
night feeding, and we have little difficulty in
doing this after the first two or three nights.”
The trouble too often is, the parents need
breaking in, before they can patiently and
persistently train a child in the right way.
Their own habits are not fixed and methodical,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_208" id="Page_208">[208]</a></span>
and they find it difficult to train their
children into right ways of living and doing.</p>
<p>The nursery should be a sunny, pleasant
room, large and cheerful, for here much of
the time of the mother will be spent, whether
she be able to keep a nurse to share with her
the care of the little one or not. No true
mother gives over the entire care of her children
to a nurse, however efficient and kindly
and cultured and wise the nurse she may
have, may be; but she will keep the oversight
and spend hours daily with her little ones,
in their care and supervision and tender
mothering, which no one else can give the
child which is part of her very self. Mother
should be to them the dearest being in the
world, and no one should be allowed to
come nearer them than she, in her loving
sympathetic devotion and care.</p>
<p>Through all the months of pregnancy, the
thoughts of motherhood have been taking
root in her heart (we wish we might say in
every case, “watered by joy and gladness,”
but not always is this so); sometimes the
roots are set in bitterness, and the little soul
growing to maturity under her heart, is absorbing
the bitterness, to the sorrow and hurt
of all its after life.</p>
<p>Of the first class Mrs. Burnett has given<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_209" id="Page_209">[209]</a></span>
us a lovely type. A mother is looking down
into the face of her firstborn, and exclaims,
“And this fair soul given to me from the
outer bounds, we know not, and the little
human body it wakened to life in; think you
that Christ will help me to fold them in love,
high and pure enough, and teach the human
body to do honor to its soul? Surely that
which He made in His own image, would not
that it should despise itself and its own wonders,
but do them reverence and rejoice in
them nobly, honoring all their seasons and
their changes. I pray for a great soul, and
great wit, and great power to help this fair
human thing to grow, and love and live.” Is
it any wonder that she should say of such a
mother, “’Twas not mere love she gave her
offspring. She gave them of her constant
thought, and of honor such as taught them
reverence of themselves as of all other human
things. She was the noblest creature that
they knew; her beauty, her great unswerving
love, her truth, were things bearing to their
child eyes the unchangingness of God’s stars
in heaven.”</p>
<p>Again Mrs. Spofford in her incomparable
little prose-poem, <cite>The Nemesis of Motherhood</cite>,
pictures one of the other mothers, a vacuous,
trifling woman, who utters the soul-cry, when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_210" id="Page_210">[210]</a></span>
she began to wake to her real self, as the little
firstborn nestled in her bosom. “Do you
suppose he knows I am his mother?” and the
little head had snuggled into place. She
gazed at him in a bewildered wonder; something
seemed to be taking hold of her heartstrings.
“Oh: this scrap of a creature was
part of her life itself; she had made him;
she had struck this spark of a soul into a being;
the idea; the dear thing had a soul of
course! And she fell to wondering what
kind of a soul it was. What kind of a soul?
Why didn’t people say the son was the
avatar of the mother? A soul like hers to be
sure. Heaven help her, what kind of a soul
<em>was</em> hers? She saw herself. That was the
kind of a soul she had, a little paltering,
worthless one, and that was what she had
given to her boy.”</p>
<p>Oh the sorrow of such motherhood! Sorrow
for herself, more sorrow for her children,
and most sorrow for the great wide world,
into which her child has come to take a part—and
which must of necessity be a sorrowful
part, unless he be regenerated. And even
then the superlative of sadness is this, that he
is not all he might have been had his progenitors
given him his lawful inheritance.</p>
<p>Mothers! mothers! choose and live for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211">[211]</a></span>
the highest and noblest in yourselves, and for
your children. Bless the world with your
offspring. Crown them with your pure and
noble life, and your memory shall be blessed.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_212" id="Page_212">[212]</a></span></p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_213" id="Page_213">[213]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XIX">CHAPTER XIX.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE MOTHER THE TEACHER.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Mother’s Sphere in the Home.—Mother as Maker
of Sunshine.—Food, Clothing and Restraint not
the Mother’s Full Duty to Her Children.—Teach
Them Self-knowledge.—Mother Should Give
Honest Answers to Honest Inquiries.—Ignorance
Leads to Vice, and Vice to Ruin.—When Shall
Children be Taught Physical Truths.—How to
Teach Little Children Physical Truth.—Questions
of Sex Should be the Most Sacred Things of Their
Knowledge.—How to Teach the Children in This
Sacred Way.—The Preparation for the Lesson.—Mothers
Should Teach Their Boys as Well as the
Girls.—How Boys Grow Away from Their
Mothers.—How Mothers May Win and Hold
Their Boys.—An Honest Mother’s Reward.—A
Mother’s Power Over Her Children.</p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“The best teacher is a wise mother. She will
thoroughly equip the child for the journey of life; she
will place him on the right road, and she will fill his
mind with such ideas of truth and justice as will enable
him to withstand the temptations of the world,
the flesh, and the devil. Thrice happy is the child
who possesses such a mother. He may have other
teachers in school and college, but none whose influence<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_214" id="Page_214">[214]</a></span>
is so far-reaching and lasting as hers.”—<span class="smcap">Thomas Hunter.</span></p>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“As is the mother so is her daughter.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p>A traveller and a native met upon the
streets of Tokio, Japan. In the course of
their conversation upon this wonderful land
of the “Rising Sun,” the native exclaimed:
“But have you seen It?”</p>
<p>“It,” repeated the traveller, “what do you
mean by It?”</p>
<p>“Ah: you would not ask had you seen
It.”</p>
<p>They met again a few weeks later, after
the American had beheld the glories of the
wonderful, indescribable “It” of Japan,—the
Holy Mountain, the marvelous Fujiyama,
which rises thousands of feet above the level
plain, snow-capped, reflecting the rays of the
sun in a thousand varied shades, alone, majestic,
incomparable, in its grandeur and
beauty.</p>
<p>Little wonder that the admiring natives
call it the “It” of Japan. It might as truly,
among its kind, be called the It of the world.</p>
<p>There were few words exchanged, but the
native was satisfied. The It was understood
and appreciated by the traveller.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_215" id="Page_215">[215]</a></span></p>
<p>Months after the Japanese visited America,
and from the Pacific to the Atlantic was
eagerly searching for anything that would
compare in natural beauty, with this marvelous
Holy Mountain of his own land. The
Yosemite, the majestic Rockies, the National
Park, Niagara, all were visited, but nowhere
could he find the one thing worthy the name.</p>
<p>As he became known, the homes of America
were thrown open to him. At last he awoke
one day and exclaimed in his delight, “I
have found it, the It of America, and it is
greater than that of my beloved land. The
It of America is her homes.”</p>
<p>To this beautiful figure I would add but
one word. The It of the home is the mother.
Shall I prove it from the lips of a child?</p>
<p>Willie, aged five, bounded into the house
one day, exclaiming as he hung his hat in
the hall, “This is my home.” A lady visitor
said, “The house next door is just like this,
Willie, suppose you go over there and hang
your hat in the hall, that would be your home
as much as this, wouldn’t it?”</p>
<p>“No ma’am,” said the little fellow.
“Why not?” asked the lady. “’Cause my
mother does not live there,” was the triumphant
reply.</p>
<p>Truly the mother is the home, and as well,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_216" id="Page_216">[216]</a></span>
although unconscious of it, she is the barometer
of the home. “Mamma, what makes
it look so dark, is it going to storm?” said
my little one. “Why, darling, it isn’t
dark,” I answered; “the sun shines beautifully.”
He ran to the window and came
back exclaiming, “Why so it does, mamma,
but it seems so dark here. May I go out in
the sunshine?”</p>
<p>And then I was startled with the knowledge
that the little one was under the shadow of
my face, for gloomy thoughts had held me
all the morning, and I had given myself to
their companionship. “Yes, my darling,” I
said, “you may go out and mamma will go
with you.”</p>
<p>When we came back laughing and cheery,
my baby added unconsciously another rebuke,
“How lovely the house is now, mamma, and
how it makes you smile.”</p>
<p>Is it not lamentably true that the many
mothers consider their work done when
they have fed and clothed their children, and
restrained them from the glaring evils of the
day; and is it not as true that many of them
have given little or no thought as to the best
methods in which these three things shall be
done? The question of preparation for
maidenhood and boyhood, for manhood and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217">[217]</a></span>
womanhood, is never considered for a moment.
It has not dawned upon the many
that they should teach their children that
they are a small part, but nevertheless a very
important part of the great living, thinking,
striving world. That the next generation
will be the better or the worse because they
are a part of it. That they can fit themselves
to be a blessing, or neglecting the fitting,
make themselves a curse to the coming
generation.</p>
<p>Teach them that before they can understand
and help others, they must know themselves.
Begin with their earliest instinctive
questionings to answer truthfully, and glorify
the thoughts that nature has implanted in
every human heart, and that unless properly
understood will become a snare and temptation
to them. Many girls who have gone
astray, or in some measure have become victims
of their ignorance, have said to me in
their remorse, “Oh, doctor, if my mother
had only taught me these things, I should
not have made the mistakes I have made.
Why do mothers keep their girls in such ignorance?”</p>
<p>And many a mother, who has grown grey
with the weight of care and years, after listening
to a talk on maternal responsibilities,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218">[218]</a></span>
has exclaimed, “If I had only known these
things while training my children, what a
difference it would have made with my boys
and girls, and how much of sorrow and regret
I could have spared them all these years.
How much less of regret should I have
had.”</p>
<p>I like to think that in great measure, the
mother is responsible for what her children
know and don’t know. Ah, but you say,
how can a mother be responsible for teaching
her children aright when she has not been so
taught herself? Doesn’t this very question
prove my statement? Because the mothers
behind you have shirked their responsibility,
have you a right to shirk yours? Remember
what we have already quoted, “What we
need most is a generation of educated
mothers.” And by this word “educated”
is not meant “college trained” alone, but
thoughtful, earnest, wide-awake, self-cultured
women as well, who have at heart the highest
good of themselves as well as those who
come after them; and who are willing to
give time and careful painstaking thought
and research to the care of the home and to
the mental, moral and physical training of
their children. To such mothers every question
of the little ones comes as the divine<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_219" id="Page_219">[219]</a></span>
right exercised by the individual child, and
as such receives proper attention and reply.</p>
<p>Never does such a mother turn her child
away with the rebuke or fretful rejoinder, that
she has no time for such questions. For
what is a mother’s time given but to guide
the feet of her babies into true paths; to be
the answer book for all their puzzling problems?
A true woman never compels her
children to go elsewhere for the answers to
questions which she herself should give. In
answering be so truthful that they may never,
even in thought, question your word.
Blessed child of a more blessed mother, was
the little girl, who when a mate questioned
the truthfulness of a certain statement, excitedly
replied, while her eyes flashed, “It is
so, for my mamma said it was; and if my
mamma said it was so, it is so if it isn’t so.”</p>
<p>When shall I begin to teach my children
those things which pertain to their being and
well-being, many mothers ask; and I would
reply, just as soon as they begin to question.
Not always will it be wise to answer their
questions fully; but you may always, and
should answer them as far as best, and then
say, “That is all you can understand now,
but as you grow older mamma will tell you
more about it. Always come to me when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_220" id="Page_220">[220]</a></span>
you want to know about these things, for
God gave you your mamma purposely to
teach you in the right way, and who ought
to know as well as a mother what her children
should know?” I am often asked,
“Isn’t it unsafe to tell children all that they
want to know? will they not talk of it when
and where they should not?” No, not if
you teach them aright. If you do not tell
them, some one else will, and often in a way
which you should blush to know about. Unless
you answer them frankly and truthfully
concerning these pertinent questions of their
being, the entire realm of sex, of nativity, of
fatherhood and motherhood, which should
be among the most sacred things of their
knowledge, will be associated in their minds
with sin, darkness and unholiness.</p>
<p>One needs to think long, earnestly and
prayerfully along these lines, before these
lessons can be taught in all their sweetness
and purity. We need to go patiently back
and divest them of all their coarseness and
sin, with which wrong teaching, or no teaching
at all, has clothed them, and then, dressing
them in their legitimate garments of
whiteness and purity, tell them to our girls
and boys, so that it will be no longer necessary
to say to our young men and women,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_221" id="Page_221">[221]</a></span>
“Know Thyself” for all shall know themselves,
from the least to the greatest, and all
that “self” stands for.</p>
<p>At the mother’s knee is the true primary
school for these great questions to be learned,
and happy the mother who can take her
children through all the higher grades, until
their education in these things is completed.</p>
<p>Every child is an animated interrogation
point, and they have a right to be, for so
they learn. Meet them with loving frankness
and you will never need confess that
you have lost the confidence of your children.
They will turn to you as steel to a
magnet, attracted by this loving bond of sympathy
and truthfulness. “Mamma, where
did I come from?” opens the way, dear
mother, for the most beautiful truth you can
teach your child, next to its new birth.</p>
<p>“But I don’t know how to teach it,” you
say; then tell your little one, “that’s a long
question, darling, and mamma must think
out the simplest way to answer it, and in a
few days I will tell you all about it.” Then
away to your own room and down on your
knees before God, until the subject is divested
of every shadow of sin and darkness,
and then in this pure light think for your life,
and if you cannot formulate your thoughts as<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_222" id="Page_222">[222]</a></span>
you would, hurry at your first leisure to the
wisest woman you know in these things and
talk with her about it. It is so simple after
all, and if told in a matter-of-fact way, with
no hesitation or blushing, it will be so received
by your child.</p>
<p>The simplest way is to teach them that the
egg from which the little bird or downy
chicken comes, is laid by the mamma bird
or hen, and then she sits upon it to keep it
warm, while it grows in the shell until it gets
too large to stay there longer, when it bursts
the bonds and comes out a downy, active
little bird or chicken. “In much the same
way, my darling, you grew; only instead of
your being able to see the little egg, which
was your beginning, it was kept warm and
snug in a little room in mamma’s body, while
you grew from a tiny speck of an egg, so
small that you could not see it with the
naked eye, into a fat, beautiful, rollicking
baby; then you came out through a little
door made purposely for it, and was nestled
in mamma’s bosom forever after. I think it
must be you are kept hidden away while you
grow, because mammas are so busy, you
might be forgotten if you were in any other
nest, and you would get cold and die. As
it is, mamma carries you wherever she goes,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_223" id="Page_223">[223]</a></span>
and whatever she is doing; and you are always
nestled snugly and warmly in the little
cradle God made purposely for you, and
where mamma can feel you moving about as
you grow, for you are right under her heart.”</p>
<p>It will do them no harm to take them a
little into the agony of the birth chamber;
they will love and reverence you the more,
and feel the closer bond. One dear boy on
hearing the story of his birth, throwing his
arms about his mother’s neck, while the tears
streamed down his cheeks, exclaimed, “Oh,
how boys ought to love their mothers.”</p>
<p>Tell the boys as well as the girls, dear
mothers, and do not make the mistake so
often made, in thinking it will do no good to
talk to the boys. It will do all the good in
the world, and they will bless your memory
for it; aye, more, their wives and all good
women will bless you as well. Just one illustration
to prove my point, and to encourage
mothers who have put off teaching their children
later than they should.</p>
<p>A mother who had but one child, a son,
who had grown to be fifteen, untaught in
these things, as so many boys are, had grown
away from his mother and sought companionship
that was not all it should have been,
outside the home. The mother in a heart to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_224" id="Page_224">[224]</a></span>
heart talk with a friend, expressed her grief
that she had lost the confidence of her boy.
“He has grown away from me,” she said.
“I see,” said the friend, “but why don’t you
tell him your condition”—she was expecting
then a little one—“and nine chances in
ten you will win him back.” “Oh,” said
the mother, “I could never talk with him of
such things. What could I say?” “Don’t
you suppose he knows already?” said the
friend. “Yes, I am sure he does, for he
seems shy and conscious when he looks at
me.” “Then why be afraid to talk to him
of it?”</p>
<p>Then followed a long earnest talk of what
she had missed all these years in neglecting
the teaching that the boy must and would
have, and had probably gotten from those
who had clothed it in impurity and shame,
instead of purity and loveliness. And a
promise was exacted that she would talk
with her boy and tell him as only a mother
can, of her condition, and of her sorrow that
she had lost his full confidence, which she
once had and delighted in so much.</p>
<p>But in her timidity the time passed and
the confidence was not given until the very
day of her confinement. The boy rushed
into the house and found the mother alone in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225">[225]</a></span>
the agony of labor, the father having gone
for the physician and nurse.</p>
<p>“What is the matter, mamma? You are
sick. Can’t I help you?” At the loving
question the broken promise came to mind,
and in the desperation born of her suffering,
she resolved to tell him still. “Oh, son,
darling, I’m going to have a baby;” she
groaned in her agony. “Oh, mamma, why
didn’t you tell me that you needed me?” he
exclaimed, as he threw his arms around his
mother’s neck. “I thought you didn’t want
me to know, because you never talked to me
about such things, but I wish you had.”
And they were crying together, mother and
son, thinking the same thoughts, all reserve
broken down, loving in the same old way,
and the lost confidence restored.</p>
<p>The questions relating to their being and
to the mysteries of procreation are legitimate
ones, and demand a patient hearing. They
should be met with such pure candor, that
they shall never in the minds of innocent
childhood be clothed in a mystery which is
too often interpreted as sin. Little wonder
that untaught boys grow to be men that
trample upon every holy instinct of womanhood,
and set at naught the sacredness of
maternity.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_226" id="Page_226">[226]</a></span></p>
<p>I have read somewhere of a great physician
who gave finely illustrated lectures to
women upon the subjects relating to maternity.
One wise mother who had listened with
wrapt interest to his talks, called at his office
one day with her twin boys seven years old.
“Doctor,” she said, “I would like you to
show my boys the beautiful anatomical plates
that you use in your lectures, and tell them
about some of them.” “Certainly, madam,”
he replied, “I will gladly do so.”</p>
<p>He turned them over one by one, answering
an eager question here and there, put by
the bright boys, until he came to one illustrating
twin pregnancy, which he passed
hastily over without giving an opportunity
for sight or question. “Stop, doctor,”
said the mother. “That is the very one I
want my boys to see. I have promised
them that as soon as they were old enough I
would tell them all about the little room in
mamma’s body where they grew for nine
months before they came into her arms.”</p>
<p>The doctor was struck with confusion and
could not utter a word. He who had stood
before great audiences of adults and taught
them unblushingly the secrets of being, was
silent before innocent childhood. The
mother was forced to be the teacher, when<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227">[227]</a></span>
she had looked to one wiser to enforce the
lesson. Standing in the presence of the
great doctor, she told them in pure sweet
words the story of their prenatal life and of
her motherhood, not forgetting to tell of the
great pain which was all forgotten so soon in
the gladness that her baby boys were born to
her.</p>
<p>She finished, and there were tears upon
the faces of all her listeners. “Oh, mamma,
how good boys ought to be to their mothers,”
said one of the twins; while the doctor
exclaimed, “Madam, that was the finest
lecture upon the subject to which I ever
listened. Go on so teaching your boys and
they will be men that the world will be proud
of and greatly need.” This is the kind of
seed-sowing which not only bears a rich
harvest of purity and innocent knowledge,
but as well keeps out the weeds of sin and
impurity, which curiosity gratified by secret
whisperings always sows.</p>
<p>“The true mother is a teacher whether she
is conscious of it or not, and the true teacher
uses the innate mother element—that which
broods over the child and warms it into life—as
much as she does her acquired knowledge.”</p>
<p>Just as surely as the child in prenatal life<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_228" id="Page_228">[228]</a></span>
drew his nourishment mental, moral, and
physical, from the mother, so surely in postnatal
life will he look to her for example, for
strength, for encouragement in all virtues,
for warning against pitfalls, for direction in
all knowledge, for comfort in sorrow, for real
heart’s-ease, for cheer and inspiration in the
race of life. God pity and forgive the
mother, who has no storehouse from which
her children can draw their supplies of comfort
and courage and rest.</p>
<p>I like to think of the wonderful Shepherd
Psalm as a prototype of what God designs
the parents to be to their children. Remember
the ancient shepherd <em>led</em> his sheep; so
should the mother, in obedience to God and
her higher nature, in loveliness, in patience,
in hope, in cheerfulness, in sweet charity,
lead her little ones in the “Paths of righteousness.”</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_229" id="Page_229">[229]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XX">CHAPTER XX.<br />
<span class="smaller">COMMON AILMENTS OF CHILDREN.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Little Ailments.—Nursing Babies Affected by Condition
of Mother.—Sleep and Health.—The Baby’s
Food.—Why Babies are Restless when Nursed
from the Right Breast.—Children’s Symptoms
often More Grave than the Ailment.—Illustrations.—Fevers
and Teething.—Vomiting.—The
Cause of Rash.—Pallid Children.—Chafing.—Babies
do not Cry without Cause.—Need of Water
and Fresh Air.—Sleeping in open Air.—Relief in
Constipation.—Important Suggestions.</p>
</div>
<p>I speak of ailments of children not diseases,
since this is in no sense a “Doctor
Book.” In the common ailments every
mother should be so well informed that she
may not distress herself at a trifling indisposition,
neither show no concern when marked
symptoms of disease are present. There are
many ailments to which the most healthy
child is susceptible, and for which no alarm
need be felt, as they are trifling and usually
last but a few hours.</p>
<p>In nursing babies, the child is very apt to<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_230" id="Page_230">[230]</a></span>
be affected by the condition of the mother.
If the mother is quiet, well balanced, free
from worry, not subject to fits of anger,
does not overdo, does not eat stimulating
food, keeps early hours; in short is quiet,
self-contained and healthful, the probability
is that her children will be well, easily managed
children. On the other hand, if she be
easily disturbed, unbalanced, constantly going
beyond her strength, eating forbidden things,
keeping late hours, and thus using or rather
wasting her energies, she has not the vital
force to give to her children, and they suffer
proportionately. Here again is exemplified
the truth that what the mother is that will
her child be.</p>
<p>Sitting down when tired and overheated or
excited to nurse your little one, do not wonder
if you have a cross, fretful, and many
times, feverish child as the result. When
under a fit of anger, the mother’s milk has
many times produced in the child very alarming
symptoms, and sometimes even caused
death. This, in an exaggerated way, shows
us what the effect is upon the delicate nervous
temperament of the child, if the mother
is not in healthful tone herself.</p>
<p>A healthy, well-trained baby, should in the
first weeks, sleep twenty out of the twenty-four<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_231" id="Page_231">[231]</a></span>
hours. The sleep should be quiet and
natural, and the baby will in the remaining
four hours eat and stretch itself and grow.</p>
<p>Regularity of feeding in the first few
weeks will not be as possible as later, for the
little one will sleep over its feeding times.
Do not imagine from this that when it does
eat it should have a double quantity, for
the stomach has not expanded in its sleep,
and will hold no more than when fed each
two hours. It is estimated that a newborn
baby’s stomach will hold but three or four
tablespoonfuls, and this should regulate the
quantity of food at each feeding, if the baby
is bottle fed. If a nursing baby, nature
regulates the quantity, if regularity of habit
is observed, as no more is secreted than is
needed, as a rule.</p>
<p>In tiny babyhood the child’s liver is very
large in proportion to its size, and the size of
the other organs, hence it will sometimes make
trouble when the child is nursed on the right
side; as the weight of the liver pressing on
the full stomach causes distress. When you
observe that the child fusses after nursing the
right breast, hold it as when nursing the left
breast with the feet under the right arm, and
when laying it down lay it on the right side,
and you will relieve the difficulty.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_232" id="Page_232">[232]</a></span></p>
<p>Every mother should know that “in early
childhood there is no relation between the intensity
of the symptoms, and the material
lesion, or derangement. The most intense
fever with restlessness, cries and spasmodic
movements, may disappear in twenty-four
hours without leaving any traces. The intense
nervous excitability in a robust child
will often communicate a false appearance of
gravity, to a trivial ailment.”</p>
<p>I quote from Eustace Smith, M.D., this
comforting thought: “With regard to the
temperature of children, it may be noted
that we must not allow ourselves to be deceived
by sudden and rapid rise of temperature
into the belief that the patient must
necessarily be suffering from serious disease.
Very slight causes will in infants produce a
remarkable increase of heat; and during
natural dentition, just before the passage of
the tooth through the gum, a temperature of
one hundred and four or one hundred and
five degrees Fahrenheit, even in the morning
is not at all an uncommon circumstance.
Besides, the normal temperature of young
children is rather higher than that of the
adult. In a perfectly healthy child of three
or four years old the thermometer will often
register a morning temperature of ninety-nine<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233">[233]</a></span>
and one-half. The pulse of infants can seldom
be counted except during sleep.”</p>
<p>We must remember also that children
breathe more quickly than adults. About
thirty respirations a minute for children under
two years, or nearly twice as many as in
adult life. Also in a slight degree of indisposition
the respirations may be quickened
materially without cause for alarm.</p>
<p>The tongue, if white, usually indicates
fever, dyspepsia and intestinal irritation. A
red, dry, hot tongue points to inflammation
of the mouth or stomach.</p>
<p>An intense fever may be occasioned in a
child as the result of overfeeding or allowing
indigestible things.</p>
<p>My experience has been that a child fed
properly, and allowed to rest sufficiently,
will have very slight or no difficulty when
teething. I do not agree wholly with the
author quoted in the foregoing as to the cause
of the fever in teething. At this period of life
the brain of the child is developing remarkably,
and if the stomach is not doing its work
properly, or if more is imposed upon it than
should be, the result is an irritation of the
brain, and the whole system, and consequent
fever. When we consider that the brain of
the child in proportion to the size of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234">[234]</a></span>
body, is as one to eight, while that of the
adult is as one to forty or fifty, we can see
how a little disturbance may affect the child
at this time.</p>
<p>Vomiting, unless long continued, is of slight
consequence in the baby; since it is usually
relieving an overloaded stomach, or throwing
up the food that has been churned unnaturally
while the little one is tossed about
by an overzealous relative. Rocking vigorously
is not a good thing for the child, as it
not only disturbs the stomach, but irritates
the brain, from the jarring.</p>
<p>A rash may appear on the child and be of
no more moment than to remind you that you
are feeding it improperly, that its food is not
agreeing with it, or that teeth are about to
appear.</p>
<p>If the child is thin and pale and does not
grow, it is not assimilating its food and the
cause should be looked into at once. It may
be that a change is desirable. In bottle-fed
babies, there is not so much of variety in its
food as in a nursing baby, because the mother’s
change of food from day to day, varies
the milk somewhat. Changing from one
prepared food to another will often tide them
over an indisposition, as nothing else will.</p>
<p>Chafing usually means that the little one<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235">[235]</a></span>
has not been dried well when changing the
napkin, or allowed to go too long after the
napkin is wet. Indigestion, and a consequent
acidity of the discharges may cause
excoriation of the skin, and this will need a
change in the food or the proper medicine to
correct.</p>
<p>A baby does not cry without cause. It
may be spoiled into crying to be tended, but
this is easily distinguished from a sick cry,
or a fretted cry from discomfort.</p>
<p>A baby should have plenty of water and
fresh air; two of the “freest” things and
yet we stint the little one in them. It should
be given water every day several times, and
it often cries for want of it. It should be
taken out into the fresh air every day when
pleasant, and many times allowed to take its
nap in the open air. One of the healthiest,
most robust babies I ever knew, though beginning
life as a little puny thing, was put
into its little carriage and wrapped up warmly,
and wheeled out on the front porch for its
nap twice daily. A light cover was thrown
over the head of the carriage to protect the
child from draughts.</p>
<p>If the baby is bottle-fed and constipated, a
small pinch of salt put into its food at each
feeding will often effect a cure.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_236" id="Page_236">[236]</a></span></p>
<p>Dress your little one warmly enough but
not too warm, keep it dry and comfortable,
feed it properly, do not toss it about, or disturb
its sleep, and you will be rewarded with
a healthy and comfortable child that will
daily be a greater and greater delight and
blessing.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_237" id="Page_237">[237]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXI">CHAPTER XXI.<br />
<span class="smaller">GUARDING AGAINST SECRET VICE.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Mother’s Preparation as Guide and Protector of
Her Children.—Safeguards for Tiny Babyhood.—Cleanliness,
Regularity, Chafing, Pin Worms,
Servants, Nurse Girls, etc., etc.—How to Teach
and Guard Them During Childhood.—Safeguarding
the Children with Knowledge.—Inborn
Curiosity Concerning Physical Mysteries.—How
to Meet these Questions.—Sleeping Alone.—How
to Correct Vice where it Exists.—The Duty of
Physicians to the Public.—Symptoms which call
for Parental Watchfulness.—Results of Secret
Vice.—Rewards of Parental Vigilance.</p>
</div>
<p>How shall the mother prepare herself that
she may be the guide and protector of her
children past this dangerous shoal, is a question
that exercises every true woman’s heart.
In view of the myriads of temptations, we
are led to exclaim here, as in the contemplation
of many other difficulties in child training,
“Who is sufficient for these things?”</p>
<p>The carefulness in guarding against the
entrance of this evil should begin back in
tiny babyhood. Perfect cleanliness, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_238" id="Page_238">[238]</a></span>
proper adjustment of the napkin, and great
care in the baths, lest by roughness in washing
an irritation be set up; all these things
must be thought about and watched carefully.
The food, regularity of habits, daily evacuation
of the bowels, all have their share in
keeping the child in a healthy condition that
precludes the unnatural state which invites
the habit.</p>
<p>A chafed condition of the skin, which
causes itching and consequent rubbing of the
parts, may be the beginning of the habit before
the child is old enough to be reasoned
with, or able to understand the wrong and
danger involved.</p>
<p>In little girls pin worms, which work forward
into the vagina, and cause an irritation,
also a leucorrhœal discharge, even in babyhood,
may so irritate that the habit is formed
before the mother is aware of it. There have
been instances of servant girls, who are left
in the care of the little ones, or unscrupulous
nurse girls, teaching the little ones the habit
to keep them quiet, so that they need not be
troubled with their care.</p>
<p>Mothers need to be Argus-eyed, to guard
their babies from all the evils that beset them;
and having carried them past babyhood into<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_239" id="Page_239">[239]</a></span>
inquiring childhood, nothing else is so potent
in shielding them from the evil, as wholesome
truth taught in a sweet motherly way.
While yet very young, they can be taught
that the organs are to be used by them only
for throwing off the waste water of the
system, but that they are so closely related
to other parts of the body that handling them
at all will hurt them and make them sick.
Tell them that little children, sometimes when
they do not know this, form the habit of
handling themselves and as a result they become
listless and sick, and many times idiotic
and insane, or develop epileptic fits. This
will so impress them that they will not fall
easily into the bad way; for it is, more often
than otherwise, an ignorant curiosity that
leads them into the danger.</p>
<p>When mothers understand what a safeguard
intelligent teaching of truth is to their
children, they will prepare themselves for it,
and will so keep their boys and girls in their
confidence that they will have no secret from
them. When they feel and know that they
can come to mother with all their enquiries,
and get honest recognition and teaching,
they will not care to go elsewhere when curiosity
is aroused and they desire knowledge
on any point. This sweet confidence between<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_240" id="Page_240">[240]</a></span>
mother and child cannot be too carefully
nurtured.</p>
<p>There is an inborn curiosity concerning
the physical being and its mysteries, and the
child has a right to be met fairly in its questionings,
and to be properly taught at the
outset. Do not begin, dear young mothers
by turning your children away, no matter
how pertinent the question; neither begin
with a semi-falsehood, or what is little worse
or misleading, an entire one. Your children
will learn, and if you do not teach them,
some one else less fitted will. As soon as
they are old enough to take in at least a part
of the great truth, tell them what those
organs are for, and how sacredly they should
guard them, if they expect to become fathers
and mothers, that will be a blessing to the
world.</p>
<p>Children very early begin to question and
as early they should receive intelligent, honest
answers to their enquiries. Oh! that the element
of gross impurity were removed from
the knowledge of the sexual nature; and it
will be when mothers have rightly learned
the truth themselves, and so teach it to their
children.</p>
<p>You can all the way along, teach your
children sufficient to gratify their legitimate<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_241" id="Page_241">[241]</a></span>
curiosity and serve as a safeguard against
their tampering with their bodies in a way to
do them harm. When you have taught them
all you think they should know, if you have
dealt with them in a frank way, and they
have no reason to doubt your word, you will
find them very easily satisfied with the remark,
“This is all you can understand now,
my dear, but as you get older and can understand
better, come to mamma with all you
want to know, and she will tell you.”</p>
<p>Fortify them also with this: “Never ask
any of the boys and girls about these things,
because there is a great deal said that is not
true, and they will not tell you right, but
come to mamma always, and this shall be
our secret, that we will not tell any one else.”
It is remarkable to see how this confidence
generates pride in being able to have a secret
with mamma and keeping it inviolate.</p>
<p>If there is the slightest tendency in your
children to secret vice, do not allow them to
sleep together in the same bed, as curiosity
may lead them into danger. Keep them
apart from other children, except as you are
present with them, until you are sure they
are old enough to be masters of themselves.</p>
<p>Should you discover in your children what
might seem a tendency toward this evil you<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_242" id="Page_242">[242]</a></span>
can do much to eradicate it by attending
strictly to hygienic rules. Keep from their
food all that is stimulating, as coffee, pepper,
spices, pickles, or condiments of any kind.
Give them plain food at regular hours; and
before retiring, to make sure of a refreshing
night’s sleep, give them a quick sponge bath
of salt and water, rubbing well after with a
coarse towel. The water should be only
tepid, and the subsequent rubbing vigorous.
In the morning a shower bath of cool water
will insure good circulation, and if followed
by a brisk rubbing, will add strength and
tone.</p>
<p>Children who incline to this weakness are
listless and disinclined to exercise. They must
be encouraged to take all the outdoor exercise
that they need, and everything should be
done to encourage them in it. Above all, do
not treat your child, even if the habit is
formed before you discover it, as if he
were a criminal. He is unfortunate, and
ignorant of the wrong or the danger he is in.
Lead him kindly away from the temptation
and into strength by patient, kindly love and
watchfulness, added to your truthful teaching.</p>
<p>Children, until they are old enough to be
trusted, should not be out from under their
mother’s watchful eye, or the care of a wise<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_243" id="Page_243">[243]</a></span>
and trusted nurse, and never away with companions
who are not known to be thoroughly
trustworthy. When other children come to
play with them they should not be left alone,
but even their play should be directed, lest
they get on dangerous ground.</p>
<p>Says Doctor Eldridge, in his book on <cite>Self
Enervation</cite>, “An evil like this should receive
far greater consideration at the hands
of fathers and mothers, and even the medical
man, than it hitherto has done. It is the
solemn and imperative duty of every physician
to warn parents of this danger to their
offspring, and if possible to erect barriers
against the tide of its destruction.”</p>
<p>Should you discover your child listless,
and preferring solitude rather than companionship,
averse to exercise, averted look,
nervous, hypochondriacal, restless in sleep,
constipated, pain in the back and lower extremities
in the morning, appetite vacillating,
hands cold and clammy; if you have not already
been suspicious, watch carefully now,
even though not half these symptoms are
present. Another diagnostic symptom is this:
The body emits a peculiar, disagreeable
smell, and there is emaciation.</p>
<p>Some of the terrible results are epilepsy, idiocy,
catalepsy and insanity. It has been discovered<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244">[244]</a></span>
that out of eight hundred and sixteen
cases of insanity in the New York State Insane
Asylum, there were one hundred and
seven addicted to this practice.</p>
<p>From their babyhood, be watchful of your
children’s companions; allow no sensational
books to be read; be sure of your helpers in
their care; know where they are at all hours
of the day and night; be patient and prayerful
in their training; teach them truth, and
keep their confidence, and you will be rewarded
with strong, pure boys and girls,
who can look into your eyes candidly and
say, “Mamma, I am free from this habit
which leads to so much misery.”</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_245" id="Page_245">[245]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXII">CHAPTER XXII.<br />
<span class="smaller">THE TRAINING OF CHILDREN.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Horse Trainer’s Method.—The Training Which
Develops Talents.—When Child-training Should
Begin.—The Training of Her Children the Mother’s
All-important Calling.—The Influence of the
Mother’s Own Character and Life.—The Children
Imitators of their Parents.—Importance of Earliest
Training.—Spoiled Children.—Children’s
Rights.—The Proper Correction of Children.—Broken
Promises and Parental Falsehoods.—Value
of Tact in Parental Discipline.—Value of Parental
Sympathy.—The Mother, Herself, the Best Gift to
Her Children.—The Choice of Books and Stories.—The
Choice of Companions for the Children.—Toys,
Sports and Amusements.—An Appeal to
Mothers.</p>
</div>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Molding the Clay.</span></p>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">Within their tiny hands my children hold</div>
<div class="verse indent1">A ball of yielding clay,</div>
<div class="verse">And, as they try some dainty form to mold,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">I hear them softly say,</div>
<div class="verse">“What shall we make? an apple or a vase?</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Some marbles, or a fan?”</div>
<div class="verse">One little boy, a smile upon his face,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Says, “I shall make a man.”</div><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_246" id="Page_246">[246]</a></span>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">Straightway, with lengthened face, he, at his task,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Begins, and ’neath the hands</div>
<div class="verse">Unskilful, weak, and yet too proud to ask</div>
<div class="verse indent1">For aid, a form expands,</div>
<div class="verse">Crude, and yet not too poor to show the man</div>
<div class="verse indent1">Hid in the maker’s thought—</div>
<div class="verse">How different yet if some skilled artisan</div>
<div class="verse indent1">The ball of clay had wrought.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">To-day within my hands my children lie,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">I shape them as I will,</div>
<div class="verse">And seek for aid from Him that is on high,</div>
<div class="verse indent1">That He may with His skill</div>
<div class="verse">Teach my weak, willing hands to rightly mold</div>
<div class="verse indent1">The clay that I have sought,</div>
<div class="verse">That in true forms of beauty may unfold</div>
<div class="verse indent1">The Maker’s highest thought.</div>
</div>
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse right">—<span class="smcap">Transcript.</span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“I regretted that you had no child, because I
thought your heart would not receive that education
for heaven which the care of children alone can give.
You are surprised perhaps, for you are thinking only
of educating your child; but let me tell you that we
parents are as much indebted to our children as they
to us.”—<span class="smcap">Anna E. Porter.</span></p>
</div>
<div class="blockquote">
<p>“Who is sufficient for these things?”</p>
</div>
<p>In a recent magazine article, on the training
of horses, I found the following: “The
thoroughly competent trainer considers the
colt’s individuality and breeding, for upon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_247" id="Page_247">[247]</a></span>
these depend the measures to be taken to develop
the animal into a race-horse. Every
good or bad quality in a race-horse is inherited
from sire or dam; courage, endurance,
extreme speed, action, ability to carry weight,
soundness or unsoundness, good or bad temper,
all these are matters of inheritance, and
must be carefully looked for by the trainer as
he develops his horses. The trainer is constantly
devising schemes to counteract the
faults and to make the best use of the good
points of his horses.</p>
<p>“The making of a thoroughbred race-horse
cannot be called an exact science. It develops,
however, an amount of patience,
courage and self-denial that is rarely engendered
in callings better understood and more
highly esteemed by the general public. The
trainer’s life is a hard one and vicarious in
the extreme.”</p>
<p>It strikes me that in this we, as parents
and teachers, have a grand suggestion in the
right training of children. With us a <em>vicarious</em>
life would count for the coming generations
of the human family.</p>
<p>“Train up a child in the way he should
go, and when he is old he will not depart
from it,” has been invested with a new meaning
to me these past few years. It not only<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_248" id="Page_248">[248]</a></span>
means train him up in the correct moral way,
reverencing things sacred, respecting father
and mother, being a pleasing child, a good
son, a law-abiding citizen, a blessing to home
and society; but it means as well, train him
up in the way he was intended to go, from
the endowment of birth, heredity and education.
In other words do not warp, from his
birth, a mechanic by trying to make a minister
of him. Do not try to crowd a farmer
into a lawyer’s mold. Do not attempt to
train into a carpenter one who is a born
artist. Do not force your boys and girls
through a literary college, if a bent in some
particular direction inclines them toward a
technical education. In short, “Train up a
child in the way <em>he</em> should go,” as well as in
the <em>way</em> he should go.</p>
<p>The mother of the Wesleys was once asked
when she should begin to train the little
three months’ old baby she held in her arms.
“Begin?” she replied, “why I began three
months ago.” Her answer was admirable,
but she did not place the time sufficiently far
back by many months. When our daughters
are rightly trained, they will all the way
along, from the time that marriage enters
their minds, be consciously educating themselves
for motherhood, and thus be in a large<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_249" id="Page_249">[249]</a></span>
measure training their little ones even before
they are promised.</p>
<p>Does this seem too ideal to our young
mothers, and not at all practical? It should
not, and I believe will not when it is carefully
considered. If any who reads these
pages is already anticipating early motherhood
they need not be discouraged, for every
succeeding child should be better than the
one before. Every lesson she learns in the
care and training of the first children should
but make her the stronger for the duties of
future mothering. The trouble too often is
that she allows her time and attention to be
taken up with less important things, and the
fixing of the earlier lessons and learning new
and better ones are neglected. In other words,
motherhood is not to-day considered her all-important
calling, and the little ones suffer
from the mothers having fallen too deeply in
love with other and less noble things.</p>
<p>All will agree with me, when I say, that
we can only with great difficulty train in our
children, what we do not know as a part of
ourselves. Are you calm and self-possessed?
Then you can with little effort teach your
children this valuable and telling characteristic.
Are you governed by reason and judgment,
not impulse? Then you can train<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_250" id="Page_250">[250]</a></span>
your child to this same strength. Are you
of even temper? Then you will have little
trouble with a stormy-tempered boy or girl.
Are you charitable and careful in your
speech, and kindly in your judgment of
others? Your children are easily led in the
same direction.</p>
<p>It is safe to say that only so far as we have
travelled ourselves, can we lead our children.
True we can point them onward, and tell
them of the desirableness of that way to
travel in, but their little feet are reluctant to
try new paths, unless the parent has tried
them before them.</p>
<p>The story of the little son who had without
permission followed his father up a steep
and dangerous mountain climb, and who at
a particularly difficult point in the path,
made his presence known, by calling out,
“Step carefully, papa, for I am coming in
your footsteps,” illustrates just what our example
is to our children. Hence I say, Mrs.
Wesley did not put the time of her beginning
to train her baby, back far enough by many
years. Every step in the onward path which
she had made in all the years of her own
training was but a page in the training she
was to give her boys and girls in the after
years. “As is the mother so is her daughter,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_251" id="Page_251">[251]</a></span>
is God’s truth, although it is many
times hard to face.</p>
<p>We desire to train our children to <em>our</em>
ideals, and they are ever reaching up to us
as <em>their</em> ideals. True, this should spur us on
to better things that our example shall be a
more worthy copy, but we waste much precious
time when we must go to school in
mature life to learn the lessons that should
have been fixed in our youth.</p>
<p>First, let us remember that a child can be
taught more bad habits in its early months
than years of training can undo. A methodical,
well taught baby becomes a tractable
child, as a rule; while a haphazard baby,
humored in every whim, becomes a child
and adult of the same demands. Have you
not often met grown men and women that
were just great overgrown spoiled babies?
You can read the history of their training,
or the lack of it, in their habits, their whims,
and their selfishness, through the unmistakable
lines these have written on their faces.</p>
<p>Again we must remember that children
have rights that we are bound to respect;
and unless we do respect them, we can
hardly expect them to regard our rights.
Another fact is this; that no two children
can be trained alike. Each is a study by itself,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_252" id="Page_252">[252]</a></span>
and each must be studied, if we desire
to attain success in the individual case. But
few absolute rules can be made; for there
must ever be a certain degree of flexibility
about every law laid down in the home.</p>
<p>A request is far better than a command,
but from the parent it should be regarded
with such respect that it equals a command.
Also there is a wide difference between a
criticism and a kindly correction of a fault.
Criticism antagonizes, and arouses the anger
of the child, though he may not be old
enough to analyze his feelings, yet the spirit
of rebellion is there, and leaves its unpleasant
results. On the other hand the kindly
correction, with love shining all through it,
awakens a sorrow for the wrong, and a determination
never to repeat it.</p>
<p>“Johnnie, what makes you do so? It does
seem to me that you are always doing something
you ought not to do.” See the angry
flash in little Johnnie’s eye, and the sullen silence
as he turns away, with resentment at
the wrong done him, written all over his
quivering form.</p>
<p>“Johnnie dear, mamma does not like to
have her son do so, it is wrong and such
things spoil boys and make them grow up in
the wrong way. Think of it, son, and see if<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_253" id="Page_253">[253]</a></span>
you would like your life to go in the way that
action would lead you.” A tender, sorrowful
light comes into the little face and a regret
for the sin is expressed and forgiveness
sought.</p>
<p>The first manner of correction, if it can
be called that, drives your little one away
from you, while the second holds him to you,
as a traveller is bound to a trusted guide in a
dangerous way.</p>
<p>Oh! the sorrow of the falsehoods told to
little ones, under the guise of threats that are
never realized. In my hearing only a few
days ago, in the space of half an hour, a
mother told her child—a bright but of course
spoiled little boy, not more than three years
old, at least a half dozen deliberate falsehoods.
I say deliberate, because she knew
they were false, and the saddest of all was
the fact that the child recognized the untruths
as well, and was not moved by them
an iota.</p>
<p>Nowhere is there so much tactful wisdom
needed as in the mother’s dealings with her
little ones. How many times we fail by too
great zeal, how many times for not enough.
Often, not to notice the little naughtinesses is
the wisest thing, when these little wrongs
are not positively sinful. Not noticing such<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_254" id="Page_254">[254]</a></span>
wrongs insures their being forgotten sooner,
and oftentimes the children are simply imitating
in a childish way what they have seen
in their elders.</p>
<p>The following incident will illustrate the
wisdom of not heeding. A little boy strutted
up to his busy mother one day, and
without a bit of prelude or postlude, said,
“Gosh.” The wise mother took no notice,
and again standing directly in front of her, and
in a more emphatic tone, he repeated the coarse
word. Still no rebuke from the mother and
no reproving look even. As if bent on being
heard and eliciting some rebuke which he
evidently expected, he thrust his hands into
his pockets, straightened up, and with a
stamp of his tiny foot, said with double emphasis,
“Gosh, mamma.” Then the undisturbed
mother looked up with simply this,
“Yes, my son, I heard.” He turned away
crestfallen, but the coarse word was never
repeated.</p>
<p>In contrast, another mother with less of
wisdom and more of the overdone zeal,
heard her little boy say, “Darn.” She
called him to her and with a very solemn
voice said, “What did I hear my little boy
say? Didn’t I hear him say the <em>naughty</em>,
<em class="smcapuc">NAUGHTY</em> word, darn,” and her voice sank<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_255" id="Page_255">[255]</a></span>
to an awesome whisper. “Yes,” said the
little fellow, with an air of important badness,
“I said it.”</p>
<p>“Come here and let me look in your
mouth,” said the mother. He opened his
mouth with very little concern, and really
seeming to enjoy it. “Oh-h-hh,” said the
unwise mamma, “I see two little black
devils.” “My-e-e-e,” said the little fellow;
“Darn, darn, darn,”—and then the mouth
flew open wider still. “How many devils
are there now, mamma?” The mother’s
answer is not recorded, but we trust she
learned wisdom.</p>
<p>I have been exceedingly interested in noting
what an ignorant horse-trainer can teach
a wild, high-mettled colt. How does he do
it? Not by whipping, not by thwarting and
fretting, but by patient, persistent effort, and
much study of the particular training each
colt needs. He goes farther than this. He
studies the pedigree that he may better know
how to correct the faults of his pupils. Is it
not worth while for a mother to take as
much pains and carefulness for the well-being
of her precious charges? “Where is the
flock that was given thee, thy beautiful
flock?” will be a question that mothers
must meet, and must answer sorrowfully in<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256">[256]</a></span>
many cases. The answer might well be taken
from the same book, “The Book,” in which
the question is recorded. “As thy servant
was busy here and there they were gone.”</p>
<p>Parents must keep in sympathy with their
children to understand and lead them. The
cares of business, the demands of society,
clubs, etc., etc., will not excuse you. There
can be no business, no demand upon your
time that can begin to equal in importance
the proper care of your children. They are
your charge, and the responsibility can be
relegated to none other.</p>
<p>I have read somewhere of a mother who
by the rounds of social life, and all the cares
incident to it, had given her children over to
the care of a nurse, until she awoke one
day to realize that she was almost a stranger
to her own children, and that they seemed to
care little for her, since they saw her so seldom.
“This will never do,” said the thoroughly
awakened mother. “These are <em>my</em>
children, and as such, demand <em>my</em> care, and
influence and love, which I shall henceforth
give them without stint.” She began at
once. Every engagement which interfered
with the loving care of her little brood, was
resolutely cancelled, while she gave herself to
redeeming the time that she had wasted, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_257" id="Page_257">[257]</a></span>
to regaining her place in her children’s
hearts which she had nearly lost. Was she
successful, I imagine I hear you ask. Did
ever a mother put her hand and her heart to
the accomplishment of a noble purpose, and
fail? Never. And she never will. Delightful
trips were planned and carried out,
all-day excursions, long walks, with a luncheon
in some quiet place, away from the
crowd. Books were read, lessons taught that
sank, freighted with their wealth of wisdom,
into the mother’s, as well as into the children’s
hearts. Oh the joy of that delightful
season! Nothing in all her life could bear
any comparison with it. Should she give it
up and again enter society, whose demands
gave her little time for the pure pleasure she
had enjoyed with her children? She would
leave it for her babies to decide. As they
gathered about her, she said, “My darlings,
mamma has something she wishes you to
settle for her. Shall we go on as we have
been doing for the past happy months, or
shall mamma take again her place in society
as she did before she knew her dear babies as
she does now?” “Oh, mamma, we can’t
get along without you now, and you know
you belong to us,” said the oldest one, and
the sweet silence of the baby as she hugged<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_258" id="Page_258">[258]</a></span>
the dear lost and found mother, tightly about
the neck, was all the answer she needed.
“Now, mamma dear, would you have gone
away from us again, if we had said so?”
“No, darling, not even if you had said so,
for then I should have seen all the greater
need of staying with my own children until
they loved me again. But I dared let you
decide, for I knew what you would say.
Bless my babies! These months have been
the happiest of my life, and do you think I
could leave you again? I can have as much as
I need of society and still live with my babies.”</p>
<p>Every parent is bound to be interested in
all that should legitimately interest their
children. Books, games, little excursions,
days off from business that the boys and
girls may have their papas and mammas all
to themselves, are important things which no
wise father or mother will neglect to consider.</p>
<p>As they grow older the sympathy and love
you show for them when you deliberately put
aside your book, and read to them some
childish story, or bit of adventure, will never
be forgotten. No wise man or woman ever
loses interest in children’s stories. If they
are worth your <em>children’s</em> reading, they are
worth <em>your</em> reading. It lies in the power of
every parent to fashion their children’s taste<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_259" id="Page_259">[259]</a></span>
in literature. Choose wisely, for the matter
is an important one. Do not make the mistake
so often made of thinking that any
child’s book is good enough for the children.
This is not true. There is as wide a difference
in children’s books as in books for
adults. With all the delightful writers for
the little ones, there is no need of reading
trashy things to the children. Your children’s
libraries will be an index of your literary
taste, and your highest care for them.
Books are companions, and should be chosen
as wisely as you would choose their associates.</p>
<p>How in this day of public schools and free
American loving democracy, can I choose my
children’s companions? Ah; but you can,
dear mother. Train them so wisely, get the
love of all that is good so instilled into their
beings, fix so surely the hatred of evil, that
they will instinctively choose companions
worthy of them. Be kind to all, but do not
make close friends or companions of any but
those who are good. Occasionally a wolf in
sheep’s clothing will be met, and you will
need great tact to lead your child to see the
falseness of character, and to get away from
it ere the influence has been hazardous.</p>
<p>Let me illustrate. A grown up boy fifteen
or sixteen said one day to his mother,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_260" id="Page_260">[260]</a></span>
“Mamma, some of the boys are going down
to the Gardens to-night after school, and may
I go with them?” “What is there to see and
enjoy, son?” “Oh I hardly know, but the
boys say there’s lots of fun.” The mother
gave her consent, all the while knowing she
would not have chosen the Gardens as a
suitable place for her boy to find amusement.
When he came home from school to leave his
books, he found his mother all ready to go
out. “Where are you going, mamma?”
asked the boy. “I thought I would go with
you, son, I have never been there and I
thought I would like to enjoy it with you.”
“But mamma, I don’t know as it is a good
place for you to go to.” “Oh, don’t trouble
about that, son, any place that you care to
visit is suitable for your mother.”</p>
<p>She was dressed in her prettiest and most
girlish dress, and outdid herself to be entertaining
to her boy. She said nothing in
criticism of the place, and went from one
thing to another as the boy’s fancy dictated.
In a covert glance she could see the disgust
growing in her son’s face, as a coarse jest or a
profane word came to them from the
frequenters of the place, but never a word of
fault-finding escaped her lips. Finally, thoroughly
disgusted, her boy said, “Let’s go<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_261" id="Page_261">[261]</a></span>
home, mamma, I’m tired of this sort of stuff.”
“Very well, son, if you wish,” said the little
mother, but not one word of comment or
criticism of the place or surroundings, for she
saw that the lesson was learned. On the
following day she had her reward. Her son
with several of his companions were in the
yard under the window where she sat in
hearing. “Who was that girl you had with
you at the Gardens yesterday?” said one of
the boys. “It was my mother,” said her
son. “Whew,” said the boy, “catch my
mother to go to such a place!” Then the
brave answer came from her boy, that
brought tears of gladness to the mother’s
eyes. “Well, I want to tell you right here,
boys, you’ll never catch me going anywhere
again where I can’t take my mother. Of
course she knew what kind of a place it was
and wanted me to see that it was no place for
me if it were not for her, and I learned the
lesson.” Oh the wisdom of such a mother:
and the tactfulness.</p>
<p>When the children are young they should
never be allowed away from home over night,
and should have no visitors to spend the
night with them. This cannot be too carefully
guarded. Neither should they be
allowed to play alone with companions<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_262" id="Page_262">[262]</a></span>
whom you do not know, or are not perfectly
sure you can have full confidence in.</p>
<p>No playing out of doors after nightfall.
More evil is learned in evening hours than is
dreamed of. Have toys and amusements,
and allow companions in the home, and your
children will not care to leave it for the
streets.</p>
<p>Be one with your children in their sports
and games, and make yourself so companionable
that they will choose you before all others.</p>
<p>All the way along know what your boys
and girls are reading. It lies with you to
form their tastes, and direct their choice.</p>
<p>Oh mothers, forbear to neglect this great
and blessed responsibility, with which you
are invested. No work in all the world can
equal it in importance, none in the rich harvest
which is the result of painstaking sowing.
No cast-iron rules can be laid down, for
no two children are alike. It is sufficient to
say, “Mothers, be true to yourselves, and
esteem the trust committed to you as sacred
beyond measure; study to show yourselves
approved ‘workmen that need not to be
ashamed,’” and you will have reason to rejoice
at the results of your labors. “Instead
of thy fathers shall be thy children, whom
thou mayest make princes in all the earth.”</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_263" id="Page_263">[263]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXIII">CHAPTER XXIII.<br />
<span class="smaller">BODY-BUILDING.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>Our Duty to Nourish, Strengthen and Build up
Strong Bodies.—Eradicating Inherited Infirmities.—Children
Inherit the Permanent States of
Their Parents.—The Parents’ Duty to Those Who
are not Well Born.—What has Been Accomplished
Along These Lines.—The Relation of
Babies’ Clothing and Food to Physical Growth.—Unwise
Feeding.—The Laws of Nutrition.—The
Relation of Food to National Greatness.—The
Danger of Overdressing.—Value of Sunshine and
Air.—A list of Good Foods.—The Relation of
Exercise to Appetite.—Comparative Value of Meat
and Vegetables.—Importance of Rest and Sleep.—Regular
Sleeping Hours.—Schools and Nervousness
in Children.—Many Children are not Properly
Nourished.—Food Poorly Prepared and
Poorly Served.—The Importance of Hygienic
Cooking.—The Cause of Weak Eyes in Children.—Children
and Bare Feet.—The Dosing of Children
With Nostrums.—The Use of Brandy and
Wine in Cooking.</p>
</div>
<p>I think it was Dr. J. G. Holland who
said, “We derive our best lessons, not from
what people say to us, but from what their
words make us say to ourselves.” In the
wide subject which the heading of this chapter<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_264" id="Page_264">[264]</a></span>
opens, I can only hope to illustrate this
truth. Perhaps by starting new lines of
thought with some persons, and in others
intensifying and making broader lines of
thought already entered upon.</p>
<p>Said good George Müller, “My soul I
commit to the care of God, following His
laws; but my body He has given into my
hands, to care for, nourish, and strengthen,
that I may build it up into His image.”
Could we remember oftener that it was
meant to be after His likeness, and the temple
for His indwelling, we should be less careless
of the trust committed to us. And again,
were we the only sufferers from the lack of
care and neglect of our bodies, it would
matter less, but we are sowing seed that will
spring up and bear fruit, “some thirty, some
sixty and some an hundredfold,” in the generations
to come; and what also of the incalculable
harm from our influence upon
those about us?</p>
<p>Could we return to the old Spartan time
when only the symmetrical, healthy and vigorous
were allowed to marry and bear children,
our task in body-building for the future
would be less difficult; but we have the rubbish
accumulated by the mistakes of the
body-builders behind us, through the past<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265">[265]</a></span>
ages, to clear away as best we can, before we
can properly enter upon our present task.
As it is, the problem resolves itself into this—to
make the most of the material in hand,
in rooting out the bad, and culturing the
good.</p>
<p>To begin well, the parents must bear in
mind, before the baby’s beginning, that the
life of the little one will be in great measure
determined by what they are, not by what
they may hope to be, though even this has
its influence. It is a well-known fact in
heredity that transient states of body and
mind, are not those which are most often
entailed upon offspring, but the permanent
states and conditions. What the mother
eats, what she thinks, what she enjoys, what
habits she allows to control her, will shape
largely the little life, and make her after task
in body-building a difficult, or a comparatively
easy one. Given a good foundation,
and the superstructure which rises upon it
will be solid and enduring, and as beautiful
as the architect desires.</p>
<p>Suppose the little one is not well-born, it
becomes the duty of the parents to choose its
food, its dress, its plays, its surroundings, that
they may make good as fast as possible, the
defects known to exist in it. To do this<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266">[266]</a></span>
most effectively, they will need to counsel
often with their medical adviser, and become
themselves conversant with the laws of hygienic
living.</p>
<p>That very much can be done along these
lines is a well attested fact, and is beautifully
illustrated in our Foundlings’ Homes,
where little ones coming out of all sorts and
conditions of society, and many of them with
the worst possible heredity, are trained out
of the evil ways toward which they incline
physically, and into the upward way which
makes the perfect man and woman. Therefore
we have no reason to be discouraged, if
we have not the most perfect model to begin
with, but must instead do some molding and
trimming off here and there before it stands
forth the fair thing we desire.</p>
<p>The baby’s clothing has much to do with
its proper development, as already indicated.
The food for the best development of the
physical nature has also been emphasized,
but some further remarks will not be out of
place. I pity the little one that is cheated
out of its rightful heritage, its mother’s
breast. This is a day of bottle-fed babies,
to the sorrow of the babies, and the loss to
the mother of many hours of sweet comfort
comparable with nothing else she may ever<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267">[267]</a></span>
have, while the wee thing is taking its life
from her breasts, and she is thinking high
thoughts of its future and what she shall be
to it. The mother who nurses her baby is
much to blame, if she does not drink in the
sweet lessons which come to her, of moral as
well as physical dependence, while the little
one hangs upon and nestles in her bosom;
and she does not dream of what she misses,
if she puts it off without a thought or a care
of this, the sweet lessons of cuddling, nursing
motherhood.</p>
<p>If the little thing must be bottle-fed, hold
it in your arms, as nearly in its natural position
as possible, and cuddle it, while you
hide as far as may be the ugly, unsympathetic
substitute, the nursing-bottle.</p>
<p>Ask many mothers how often they feed
their babies, and they will tell you in the
sentiment, if not the language of one who
said, “Well, once in two or three hours
usually, but when it has colic, or is restless
it tugs away nearly all the time, day and
night, until I am entirely worn out”—and I
venture to say, the baby is in the same condition.
The rule or no rule, with such
mothers, is, when the baby cries feed it,
when it frets, feed it; when it wakes, feed
it; when it goes to sleep, feed it; when it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_268" id="Page_268">[268]</a></span>
has colic, feed it more; and when it is really
ailing, feed it all the time. How much?
Why all it will hold, until it is full to overflowing,
and then wonder what ails the baby.
Wise mothers smile at the absurdity; but remember
you are the enquiring ones who
count ignorance in such things a shame, (as
you should), and you are of the favored few,
while the great army of mothers belong to
the other class.</p>
<p>For quantity and quality of food for the
baby, we refer the reader to the chapter on
The Care of the Baby.</p>
<p>Properly fed and properly dressed babies
will need little medicine, even a child born
with an hereditary tendency to constipation,
can be coaxed out of it by regularity of good
habits, and food.</p>
<p>For older children and adult life the common
sense and good judgment of the home-keeper
must decide the quality of food best
suited to their individual families. For a
subject which demands so much common
sense for all mankind, and wise thinking, less
reasonable thought is spent upon it, than upon
any other branch of science the world over.
Says a late writer, “It is universally known
as a fact, although not much considered,
that bone and blood, brain and brawn, are<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_269" id="Page_269">[269]</a></span>
directly manufactured from food eaten. It
is now beginning to be discovered that for
centuries people have not eaten the right
foods to make the best bodies. They have
been ignorant of the physiological laws of
nutrition, of the proper combinations and
proportions of essential elements, of the vital
importance attaching to such knowledge.
They have cultivated artificial and abnormal
tastes, sought momentary gratification in
eating, and gradually demoralized their
natural instincts.” There has been no study
made of the development of nations as influenced
by its food supply. It would give
much food for thought, we have no doubt,
and be a cause for surprise that the quality
and quantity of food could make so much
difference.</p>
<p>Dr. Henderson, in the <cite>Popular Science
Monthly</cite>, says: “When you remember that
we are dressed during the whole period of our
social life, and that we eat three times every
day, eleven hundred times a year, it is astonishing
that these very human arts (dressing
and eating) have not been brought to
greater perfection. Women weep, work, and
suffer the same to-day as at the dawn of
the race, because they feed the young on forbidden
fruit. So the children grow into men<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270">[270]</a></span>
and women with curved spines, unshapely,
unsymmetrical forms, and damaged brains, to
suffer all through life with ills of both body
and mind.”</p>
<p>Dr. Dio Lewis was called at one time to
see the child of a friend, who “Did not
know what was the matter with the dear little
girl.” Dr. Lewis looked her over carefully,
and then astonished the mother with a
request for an entire suit of the child’s clothing.
When they were brought to him he
took the little one with him, and followed by
the curious mother, went out into the flower-garden.
He chose for his object lesson, one
of the most thrifty and beautiful of the many
lovely rosebushes, and dressed it in the
child’s clothes; much to the delight of the
little girl.</p>
<p>“What are you doing that funny thing for,
Dr. Lewis?” she asked. “Why I want to
see whether this will grow as you do when it
is dressed so finely in your clothes,” said the
wise doctor. “Leave it just so until I come
again day after to-morrow, and we shall see
how it likes it.”</p>
<p>He came and of course found the thrifty
bush withered and dying. “Why, what is
the matter here?” said the doctor to the little
one.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_271" id="Page_271">[271]</a></span></p>
<p>“Why don’t you see, doctor, you have
shut out all the sunshine and air, and of
course it could not stand it.”</p>
<p>“Of course not, my dear,” said Dr. Lewis,
“and no more can you.” Turning to the
astonished mother, he said, “Do you see, my
friend, what you have been doing for your
little girl, and do you now see what is the
matter with her? The child can no more
live without a proper amount of sunshine and
air than can the rosebush. Take off half the
clothes she has been wearing, put on lighter
and looser things, give her a sun-bath daily
in a warm room, and allow her only simple
meals at regular hours, put her to bed at seven
o’clock every night, and you will hardly
know her in six months.”</p>
<p>The advice was followed and the child became
healthy and vigorous.</p>
<p>The old text from “The Book,” “as a
man thinketh in his heart so is he,” suggests
another as true. As a man eateth so is he.
“The man who swallows spices, condiments,
pickles, or other irritating, hot substances, is
almost certain to think irritating, hot thoughts,
and to speak hot words.”</p>
<p>Plain, simple food, well cooked and daintily
served, will be as happily received by our
families, (if they have not been pampered<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_272" id="Page_272">[272]</a></span>
until their tastes are vitiated and bad habits
formed), as the multitude of dishes which
are called food, but have no right to the
name, which are daily set before many growing
boys and girls. The temptation into
which many mothers fall of concocting, or
allowing to be concocted, “fine” dishes with
long sounding names, and which are good for
little in nutrition, has much to do in creating
depraved appetites which are averse to plain,
substantial food, which really builds bodies
that are worth the having.</p>
<p>We can sympathize heartily with the plain
old farmer, whose lament is given in rhyme
in a Southern medical journal:</p>
<div class="poetry-container">
<div class="poetry">
<div class="stanza">
<div class="verse">“We have a lot of salad things, with dressing mayonnaise:</div>
<div class="verse">In place of oysters, blue points, fricaseed a dozen ways,</div>
<div class="verse">And orange roly-poly, float, and peach meringue, alas—</div>
<div class="verse">Enough to wreck a stomach that is made of plated brass:</div>
<div class="verse">The good old things have passed away in silent, sad retreat,</div>
<div class="verse">We’ve a lot of high-falutin things, but nothing much to eat.</div>
<div class="verse">And while I never say a word, and always pleasant look,</div>
<div class="verse">I have had sore dyspepsy since my daughter learned to cook.”</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_273" id="Page_273">[273]</a></span></p>
<p>Well cooked vegetables, bread made from
unbolted flour which contains all the nutritive
properties, cereals cooked sufficiently, meat—not
fried—once a day, plenty of fruit cooked
and uncooked, milk and water, should be all
that are allowed growing children; and if
desserts are given at all, simple puddings,
not pie, should be in the dietary.</p>
<p>A story is told of a mother who took her
twelve-year-old boy to her physician, complaining
that he would eat only those things
that he should not have, and that he felt so
poorly that she could not get him out to play.
The wise doctor advised her to take him out
for a ride of two miles each day, and compel
him to run behind the carriage on the way
home. His food should be bread and milk
three times daily, allowing positively nothing
else for a month. He should be put to bed
every night at eight o’clock, and report to
him in a month. A few bread pills completed
the prescription. The result seemed
marvelous to the mother, and the medicine
was “wonderful.”</p>
<p>It is undoubtedly true that as a rule we eat
too much, and are surely too much a meat-eating
people for the best results. Meat once
daily is by the best authorities on the subject,
considered sufficient for our needs. It gives<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_274" id="Page_274">[274]</a></span>
nutritive elements in a more concentrated
form, but in this very fact the danger lies.</p>
<p>It will be well for us to remember that
food effects temperament decidedly, and we
need only compare the different temperaments
found in flesh eating and herb eating
animals to learn the effect a generous meat
diet has upon the human family.</p>
<p>I was interested in noticing the dietary of
the world’s bicycle champion, for the longest
six days’ ride yet made. It consisted of rice,
oatmeal, barley, fruit, boiled milk, koumiss,
coffee, and no meat. Arab porters, who
carry great loads trotting from six in the
morning until six in the evening, during one
month of the year, are by their religion forbidden
to partake of food between sunrise
and sunset. Their morning meal is not
mentioned, but at eventide they have a moderate
meal of wheatmeal porridge mixed with
large proportions of butter, or olive oil.
“The French inspectors who are in charge
of these gangs of porters, declare that during
the month of fasting they do better work
than at any other time because their strength is
not needed for digestion.” These statements
only prove to us, that as a people, we eat too
much, and of too rich food, and such facts
invite us to a plainer mode of living, if we<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_275" id="Page_275">[275]</a></span>
desire to conserve our strength and do our
best for ourselves and mankind.</p>
<p>I have not touched upon the subject of
rest which is an important one. Many children
through lack of knowledge or carelessness
are allowed to fall into pernicious habits
concerning sleep. Oftentimes these bad
habits are fixed in the child in its tiny babyhood,
when mother or nurse wakes the little
one for the benefit of admiring friends.</p>
<p>There should be a fixed retiring-hour for
the children, and nothing should be allowed
to interfere with it. Each child should have
a bed by itself. Little thought is given to
the detriment, morally and physically, of bed-fellows
for children. We have touched upon
the moral danger in another chapter, and
speak here of the physical. Children of different
temperaments draw much from each
other of electrical and vital force, and nearly
always to the detriment of both. In losing
anything which properly belongs to it, the
system has lost its poise, and must suffer
from it proportionately. Children differ
much in the quantity of covering required,
hence cannot properly be put under the same
amount without one or the other suffering.
The tendency is to throw off the clothes, and
colds result.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276">[276]</a></span></p>
<p>If you have had trouble with nervous fretfulness
on the part of your children, especially
in the morning, and they have been in
the habit of sleeping together, separate them
at once and note the results. One may be a
very restless child, while the other is quiet,
and the consequence is the sleep of both is
made miserable.</p>
<p>From earliest childhood accustom your
children to regular sleeping hours, and do
not begin by speaking in whispers and walking
on tiptoe when the baby is asleep. Accustom
them to sleeping with all the ordinary
work or pleasure going on in the ordinary
way. Of course the child should be in a
room by itself if possible, especially if there
are other children about.</p>
<p>As a people we suffer from lack of sufficient
rest. We stint ourselves here as nowhere
else, and little wonder that we are a
nervous, restless people, with worn-out energies
in early life. Too many women come
to maternity tired and worn, and the result is
anything but promising for their children;
the chances are that their children are born
with a heritage of sleeplessness, and their
care is a burden to their mothers and others.</p>
<p>There is something fine in our great public,
free school system, but to me there is something<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_277" id="Page_277">[277]</a></span>
wofully pathetic also. When I find
little tots, from the third grade on, nervous
and anxious in the daily rush of lessons,
fearing lest they will fall below the imposed
standard, and so lose their grade, or be
obliged to pass the dreaded examination;
going about with fretted, careworn faces, I
think it time to cry a halt. It is not the lessons
they are crowded through, but the lessons
they master that are going to be of value
to them. Is there not a-crowding-them-all-into-the-same-mold,
a-modeling-them-after-the-same-pattern
danger, that takes largely
from their individuality, and forbids the evolution
of such geniuses as the past generations
have known? No doubt we know
more than our ancestors, but is it not a question
whether we are wiser than they? For
this state of things I do not attach blame to
the teachers, the curricula of the schools are
to blame. This is a part of the everlasting
rush of the American race, and what is the
remedy? All this nervous strain draws
largely upon the physical nature of the child,
and produces dwarfed bodies that are nerveless
and tired, at the expense of crowded
brains. When will our splendid educators
see the wrong and devise a better way?</p>
<p>But not all the fault lies with the schools.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_278" id="Page_278">[278]</a></span>
Many of our children are not properly fed
and rested when they enter the schoolroom,
and the consequence is poor work languidly
done. To obviate this, our home-keepers
should be truly good cooks, and by this I
mean one who knows how to make an appetizing
meal from very little, and that little
plain. She should know how to cook the
plain solid foods in such a manner that her
family will call it a royal meal, and their
health and physical vigor will prove it so.
Like the mother in the little story, “Bread
and Cheese and Kisses,” who, when the
meal was particularly scant, would say,
“well, dearies, we have only bread and
cheese and kisses to-night,” whereupon the
kisses would be so warm and full of love,
and the love pats so tender, that the little
ones would sit down with hearts full of content
and rise with thanksgiving and gladness.</p>
<p>Do we half realize how very much the
food we set before our families has to do with
the contentment and temper of the home,
and of the school and business life? A
poorly prepared, and poorly served evening
meal will send our children to a night of restless,
dreamy, unrefreshing sleep, and an
awakening in the morning, fretful, disordered
and poorly prepared for the day. An unwisely<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279">[279]</a></span>
chosen breakfast, carelessly prepared,
finishes the work, and our children enter the
schoolrooms to endure the day as best they
can, a burden to themselves and their
teachers.</p>
<p>And right here, the mothers who have not
ordered their children before birth may take
comfort in the thought that they may still
do much for their future by properly nourishing
them. Any woman may live a great life
in giving the attention she should to the
hygiene of cooking for the home; for when
she learns how much of knowledge is bound
up in the chemistry of cooking, she will explore
many fields in her research, and come
out the winner in wide culture and loveliness.
Much that is called cooking, is but the throwing
together of the ingredients in the easiest
manner possible, and often disguising the unpalatableness
by spices and condiments.</p>
<p>The question of the weakness of our children’s
eyes, has become a serious one.
What is the cause and what the remedy?
But a few words on the subject will suffice in
a work like this. There are doubtless various
causes, but among the most noticeable
and most easily corrected are the following.</p>
<p>Improperly lighted schoolrooms, the windows
being at the side and sometimes a part<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_280" id="Page_280">[280]</a></span>
of them at the front. The white walls, the
reflected light from which is very trying to
the eyes. The constant use of the eyes for
near work, which school life demands, and
after the five hours in school, the two, three
and sometimes four or five hours work out of
school, a part of which must be done by
artificial light, and that often poor.</p>
<p>The almost constant adjustment of the eye
for near vision, which there must be by the
city dwellers, with the tall buildings shutting
out the far-away look, which rests the eye, in
allowing the muscles of accommodation to
relax. The poor print of the cheaper class
of books put upon the market. The inferior
paper will not admit of a clear bold type,
and there must be a constant effort of the
eye to adjust itself to the conditions. Much
can be done to avoid the dangers, by teaching
the children to close the eyes and rest
them for a moment or two, whenever they
feel tired, or to look as far away as possible.</p>
<p>You have doubtless read of “the barefoot
cures,” established in a few of our foreign
cities, with one, I think, in our own land.
The patients are required to go out in the
dew-wet grass with bare feet, for a certain
time every morning, and thus to draw
strength and electricity from mother earth.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_281" id="Page_281">[281]</a></span>
Could I accomplish it I would establish a
barefoot cure in every home in the land.
Isn’t it really more than three-fourths pride,
that forbids our letting our little ones pull off
their shoes and stockings, and revel for a
time at least each day in the delicious freedom
and coolness they could get from direct
contact with mother earth?</p>
<p>Have any of you a child who has not
teased to go barefooted, and why have you
not allowed it? Do not, I pray you, cheat
them out of this blissful freedom, and simple
health-giving measure. Put your pride behind
you. Venture the possibility that the
foot may become a little larger, and let your
boys and girls run barefooted for at least an
hour or two each day, in the back yard, if
you do not like their appearance in front, or
in the park, if you have no back yards, and
I venture to say you will have healthier, happier,
heartier children than you have ever
known. No matter how delicate they are,
the more delicate the greater the need. By
judicious management at the beginning, accustoming
them to the change gradually and
in the middle of the day, they will rarely
take cold. After they have become habituated
to it, you will also find that their usual
colds will disappear.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_282" id="Page_282">[282]</a></span></p>
<p>Put the tiny babies out into the sand pile
as soon as they can sit alone, take off their
moccasins and stockings, and let their little
feet come in contact with the warm sand and
watch their delight.</p>
<p>And now I come to a common practice,
which although thoughtlessly acquired is
none the less pernicious, namely, the habit
which many mothers have of dosing their
children on all sorts of domestic nostrums,
simply on the reputation that they are good
for the ailments of childhood, with no idea
of their fitness for the individual case, or
for any case. The older I grow, and the
more I learn about medicines, the more convinced
I am that they are not to be tampered
with. Could the composition of many of
the so-called domestic remedies be known,
mothers would stand appalled at their temerity
in daring to administer them. We cannot
measure the evil results of this indiscriminate
dosing. Why are so many of
these compounds put upon the market?
Simply because people stand ready and willing
to use them, and in doing so fancy they
are sparing themselves a larger expense by
way of a doctor’s fee.</p>
<p>You would hardly need to go into our
uneducated homes to find results of antikamnia<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_283" id="Page_283">[283]</a></span>
(self-ministered) antipyrine, ananalgia,
or some other of the long list of anti’s
or their near relatives, the various headache
powders, anti-constipation teas, pills, etc.,
etc., without end. This habit among women,
together with the tobacco habit among men
has wrecked many a little lifeboat before it
weighed anchor, and many an older craft has
gone to pieces on the rocks because of them.</p>
<p>And now a last word on another bit of
seed-sowing that brings forth more than an
hundredfold in harvest. Mothers, do you
dream what you may be doing when you use
brandy and wine in your cookery, or the beer
that makes your welsh rarebit “so much better,”
to use a quotation from one who uses it.
Is it safe in these days of intemperance to
create the taste for alcoholics in your children
that in after years may demand the gratification
which drags them down to death, and
carries with them many others? Could we
know the effects upon a transient guest often,
we would wonder, how, for the sake of custom
we had allowed ourselves to play with
the poison that destroys all that is beautiful
in many homes, and sends to death yearly a
countless throng, that some of our children
may help to swell, if we do not do our utmost
to stay it.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_284" id="Page_284">[284]</a></span></p>
<p>I have tried in these few hints on body-building
to show young mothers how much
they can do, if they set about intelligently
learning how to care for their children.
Make the study a painstaking one, and you
will bless your families by your research, and
the world by the healthy men and women you
send out.</p>
<p>A noble band of women, which is yearly
increasing, have set themselves the task of
instituting a new order of things, and the
great problems of childhood, girlhood and
boyhood, wifehood, motherhood, and fatherhood,
are being studied with a will to master
their mysteries, and endow the coming generation
with a clearer knowledge of the causes
which have led to much of the sin and sorrow
in home and society. Mother’s meetings
and Congresses witness the awakening of
many along these lines and herald a brighter
future for our grandchildren than our children
have enjoyed; and that there is a call for
such a book as this, evidences the recognition
of the need for knowledge along these lines.</p>
<p>Some one has wisely said, “what we need
most is a generation of educated mothers.”
The few are aware of this and have long since
passed into the higher grades of such an education;
but for the many mothers who have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_285" id="Page_285">[285]</a></span>
not yet entered the schools, such chapters as
this are written. To keep abreast of the
questionings of her children, to be thoroughly
informed on all the subjects which touch their
training and well-being is, next to her religion,
the highest prerogative of woman to-day.
For any mother to be so prepared that she
can teach her children truth, and in such a
wholesome way that it shall beautify their
whole after lives, and keep them close to her
in counsel, is a noble outlook for any woman.
And what other right or privilege can be
above this?</p>
<p>I am coming to think that a woman is living
a great life, and doing a great service for
humanity, who trains well one child—if this
be all she <em>should</em> and <em>can</em> have—Godward
and manward. True she may do this and do
<em>much</em> else; but if she be a mother, all else
she may do, neglecting this, can never bring
to her or the world much blessing. All else
she may do while fulfilling well this duty, will
but make her the better mother and world-helper.
No mother can divorce the home
and fireside from her work and retain success
and happiness.</p>
<p>J. C. Fernauld has said truly, “With
every mother the relation of motherhood
should be the controlling one, and in all<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_286" id="Page_286">[286]</a></span>
doubtful cases, mother duty should have the
benefit of the doubt.” Charles H. Parkhurst
says: “Society rises no higher than the
mass, and the measure of the home is the
mother. In the last analysis the world’s
downward pressure is sustained by woman,
and more than the public generally suspects,
the man’s talent for achievement is supported
by the wife’s or mother’s genius for quiet,
patient, continuous endurance.”</p>
<p>“A nation rises no higher than its
mothers.”</p>
<p>A beginning has been made in our schools
toward a wider knowledge along the lines of
being, which heralds the day when teachers
who are intelligent in these matters shall prepare
our young people for the responsibilities
of life—then those whose home training has
been neglected, shall not come out of our
schools unprepared, but fitted to take their
places as home-makers, as fathers and mothers
who shall be capable of training their children
in the wisest way.</p>
<hr class="chap" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_287" id="Page_287">[287]</a></span></p>
<h2 id="CHAPTER_XXIV">CHAPTER XXIV.<br />
<span class="smaller">MOTHERS’ MEETINGS, STUDY CLUBS AND BOOKS.</span></h2>
<div class="intro">
<p>The Awakening Along New Lines.—A Better
Brand of Mothers.—Books that Will Help Along
This Line.—Mothers’ Clubs as Factors.—Their
Need in Cities, Villages, and Rural Communities.—A
Rich Mine.</p>
</div>
<p>A book like this cannot enter into close
details, or give minute directions; hence we
have deemed it advisable to append a list of
books and pamphlets which should be in
every mother’s library. Were every young
wife to make a painstaking study of books
like these with the fixed intent of preparing
herself for motherhood, what a millennial day
would dawn for the race.</p>
<p>The following list (to which have been
added a few others) I have copied from the
library of a club of mothers, who have interested
themselves in gathering the best they
could find in the line of instruction and helpfulness
to a wife and mother. This list may
be further increased by many other helpful<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_288" id="Page_288">[288]</a></span>
books, but serves as a suggestive list for those
who are not conversant with such literature:</p>
<table summary="A list of books and prices">
<tr>
<td>The Children of The Future,</td>
<td class="tdr">$1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Nora Archibald Smith.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What is Worth While?</td>
<td class="tdr">.35</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Anna Robertson Brown.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Power Through Repose,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Anna Payson Call.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Republic of Childhood, (3 vols.)</td>
<td class="tdr">3.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Kate Douglass Wiggin.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>A Mother’s Ideals,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Andrea Hofer Proudfoot.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>A Study of Child Nature,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Elizabeth Harrison.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Child Culture,</td>
<td class="tdr">.30</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Hannah Whitall Smith.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Home Training of Children,</td>
<td class="tdr">.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">J. C. Fernauld.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Literary Landmarks,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mary E. Burt.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Gentle Measures,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Jacob Abbott.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Mothers the True Reformers,</td>
<td class="tdr">.10</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mrs. W. L. W. Miller.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>A Treatise on Prayer,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. Edward Bickersteith.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_289" id="Page_289">[289]</a></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Home Making,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Loving My Neighbor,</td>
<td class="tdr">.35</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Golden Gate of Prayer,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. J. R. Miller, D. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Ministry of Intercession,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. Andrew Murray.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Stepping Heavenward,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mrs. E. Prentiss.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>With God in The World,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Chas. H. Brent.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Kingship of Self Control,</td>
<td class="tdr">.30</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Wm. George Jordan.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>From Girlhood to Motherhood,</td>
<td class="tdr">.30</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mary Lowe Dickinson.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Seed Thoughts for Mothers,</td>
<td class="tdr">.35</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mrs. Minnie E. Paul.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Bringing up Boys,</td>
<td class="tdr">.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Kate Upson Clark.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Young Boy Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Young Man Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Young Husband Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Man of Forty-five Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Sylvanus Stall, D. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Young Girl Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>What a Young Woman Ought to Know,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Children, Their Models and Critics,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Auretta R. Aldrich.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_290" id="Page_290">[290]</a></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Children’s Rights,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Kate Douglass Wiggins.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Great Books as Life Teachers,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Newell Dwight Hillis.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Letters to Mothers,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Susan E. Blow.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Character,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Samuel Smiles.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>A Holy Temple,</td>
<td class="tdr">.05</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. F. B. Meyer.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>A Song of Life,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Life and Love,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Margaret Warner Morley.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Hints on Child Training,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">H. Clay Trumbull, D. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Bits of Talks about Home Matters,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">H. H.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Study of Children,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Francis Warner.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Evening and The Morning,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. Armstrong Black.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Christian Nurture,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Horace Bushnell, D. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Development of the Child,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Care of the Child in Health,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.25</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Nathan Oppenheim, M. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>The Boy Problem,</td>
<td class="tdr">.75</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Wm. Byron Forbush.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_291" id="Page_291">[291]</a></span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Of Making One’s Self Beautiful,</td>
<td class="tdr">.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Wm. C. Gannett.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Imago Christi,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Rev. Jas. Stalker, D. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Home Thoughts,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.50</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">C.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Maternal Responsibilities,</td>
<td class="tdr">.10</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">E. F. A. Drake, M. D.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>From A Child’s Standpoint,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Florence Hull Winterburn.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Education,</td>
<td class="tdr">1.00</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" class="tdc2">Herbert Spencer.</td>
</tr>
</table>
<p><i>Any of these books can be ordered through
the Vir Publishing Company.</i></p>
<p>A score of copies of Mary Wood-Allen’s
booklets have been sold among the members,
and copies of <cite>The American Mother</cite>, <cite>The
Mothers’ Journal</cite>, and <cite>Trained Motherhood</cite>
are taken. This club meets once a month, and
papers are read by the members, or by some
invited guest. Physicians and ministers,
school-teachers who have had success along
certain lines; kindergartners, and lawyers
have spoken to this company of women.
Each year a printed program is issued, and
the meetings are open to all who wish to attend,
whether members or not. The discussions
which have followed the papers, have<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_292" id="Page_292">[292]</a></span>
been interesting and profitable in the extreme.
One or two are appointed to open the discussion,
and questions are freely asked. This
club is only three years old, but it would
be impossible to measure its influence for
good, and its suggestive helpfulness in the
community. Would that there were a similar
society of women in every city in our land.
Yea, more, in every village and rural community.
Literary clubs and classes have
multiplied, all over our land, <i lang="la">ad infinitum</i>;
and is it not time that mothers’ classes were
more common and popular? Depend upon
it, more pleasure and profit can be gotten out
of such a class, than from any other proposed
line of study. Why? Because it goes to
the very root of things, and comes so near to
the hearts of all that it can but create interest.</p>
<p>Woman has done much in literary study
and improvement, but here is a mine that has
not been worked as it should have been; and
depend upon it, no richer field can be found
in all the realm of art, science or literature.</p>
<p class="titlepage">THE END.</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<p class="center larger">OFFICES OF PUBLICATION</p>
<p class="titlepage smaller">IN THE UNITED STATES<br />
<span class="larger">THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY</span><br />
2237 <span class="smcap">Land Title Building</span><br />
PHILADELPHIA, PA.</p>
<p class="titlepage smaller">IN ENGLAND<br />
<span class="larger">THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY</span><br />
7 <span class="smcap">Imperial Arcade, Ludgate Circus</span><br />
LONDON, E. C.</p>
<p class="titlepage smaller">IN CANADA<br />
<span class="larger">WILLIAM BRIGGS</span><br />
29-33 <span class="smcap">Richmond Street West</span><br />
TORONTO, ONTARIO</p>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">Maternity Without Suffering</p>
<p class="author">BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Healthfulness of Child-Bearing</span>—Wrong notion
about child-bearing corrected—Dangerous subterfuges—Contrast
between willing and unwilling mothers—Ennobling
maternity—Causes of painful parturition—Suggestions
for proper exercise—Errors in diet—A
proper regimen—A contributing cause to pain—Is painless
parturition possible?—Opinions of scientists and
physicians—Reasons why some women have painless
child-bearing—The author’s experience as a physician—The
conditions necessary for painless maternity—Danger
of extreme methods—Effects of bad advisers—Contributing
factors of antenatal infanticide—Nothing to dread
in normal childbirth—Extreme methods not necessary.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">The Crime of Prenatal Murder</span>—The day of
reckoning—Words of warning—The mother’s accomplice—How
often to have children—Dangerous practices—The
necessity of knowledge—Importance of a proper
state of mind during pregnancy—How to make one’s
life noble—The first steps in meddlesome midwifery.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">The Necessary Preparation for Motherhood</span>—Exercise
to be zealously sought—Home duties and domestic
science—The best exercise—Some aids to physical
development—Dress during pregnancy—The bath—Care
of breasts and abdomen—Choice of physician and nurse—The
husband’s part—Ailments of pregnancy—Troublesome
ills—Morning sickness—Heartburn—Constipation—The
prevention and treatment of piles—Other ills—Causes
of nervous apprehension—Other mental conditions—Birthmarks—Threatened
miscarriage.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">Heredity, Predisposition and Environment</span>—The
mother’s influence on the destiny of her child—A
profitable study—What a mother can do for her
children—Reasons why later children are stronger and
brighter.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">The Lying-in Chamber</span>—The room—The bed—The
mother’s dress—The articles necessary—After the
advent of the baby—Necessity of knowledge—The disturbing
things—Signs of pregnancy and the birth—The
rational or presumptive signs—The time in reckoning—The
duration of pregnancy—Exceptional cases—The
disturbing stage of labor—Valuable suggestions—Directions
for the nurse—Propriety of anæsthetics—Baby’s
wardrobe—Requisite articles—Directions for their making—Baby’s
first trunk—First toilet—Baby’s first dressing—Ensuring
a night’s rest—The cradle—Hours of
eating and sleeping—Proper kind of food.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>50 Cents</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, post free</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>2 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Girl Ought to
Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">PART I</p>
<p>The origin of life—One plan in all forms of life—How
plants grow from the seed—They feed on the soil, grow
and mature—How the plant reproduces itself—The
flower, the pollen, the pod, the seed—The office of bees
and insects in fertilization.</p>
<p class="center">PART II</p>
<p>Fishes and their young—The parent fishes and the
baby fishes—The seeds of plants and eggs of fishes,
birds and animals—How fishes never know their baby
offspring—Warm blooded animals—Lessons from birds—Their
nests, eggs and little ones.</p>
<p class="center">PART III</p>
<p>Animals and their young—The place which God has
prepared for their young—Beginning their independent
life—Human babies the most helpless and dependent of
all creatures—The relations of parent and child—The
child a part of each parent—Heredity and its lessons.</p>
<p class="center">PART IV</p>
<p>The value of good health—The care of the body—The
body a temple to be kept holy—Girls should receive
their instruction from their mothers—The body the
garment which the soul wears—Effects of thoughts
upon life and character—Value of good companions,
good books and good influences—What it is to become
a woman.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Girl Ought to
Know.”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY</p>
<p class="praise">Francis E. Willard, LL.D.</p>
<p>“I do earnestly hope that this book, founded on a
strictly scientific but not forgetting a strong ethical
basis, may be well known and widely read by the dear
girls in their teens and the young women in their
homes.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Elizabeth B. Grannis</p>
<p>“These facts ought to be judiciously brought to the
intelligence of every child whenever it asks questions
concerning its own origin.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Harriet Lincoln Coolidge</p>
<p>“It is a book that mothers and daughters ought to
own.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Katharine L. Stevenson</p>
<p>“The book is strong, direct, pure, as healthy as a
breeze from the mountain-top.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Isabelle MacDonald Alden, “Pansy”</p>
<p>“It is just the book needed to teach what most people
do not know how to teach, being scientific, simple and
plain-spoken, yet delicate.”</p>
<p class="praise">Miss Grace H. Dodge</p>
<p>“I know of no one who writes or speaks on these great
subjects with more womanly touch than Mrs. Wood-Allen,
nor with deeper reverence. When I listen to her
I feel that she has been inspired by a Higher Power.”</p>
<p class="praise">Ira D. Sankey</p>
<p>“Every mother in the land that has a daughter should
secure for her a copy of ‘What a Young Girl Ought to
Know.’ It will save the world untold sorrow.”</p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Woman Ought
to Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY MRS. MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M.D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">PART I</p>
<p class="center">CHILDHOOD AND GROWTH</p>
<p>Woman’s worth—Importance of care of the body—How
to obtain health—Waste and repair—Questions of
food—Importance of rest in sleep—The office and importance
of correct breathing—Injuries from tight
clothing—Physical culture—Exercise and recreation—The
value of the bath.</p>
<p class="center">PART II</p>
<p class="center">WOMANHOOD</p>
<p>The endowment of new powers—The conferring of
life—Brain building and character formation—Soul and
self—Special physiology—Woman’s special bodily endowments—The
crisis in the girl’s life—Ovulation and
menstruation—Their significance—Causes and cures of
disturbed physical conditions—Painful periods and displacements—Special
care of health at special times—Many
healthful suggestions suited to the physical needs
of young women—Secret vice and its consequences—The
relation of pure young women to young men—Friendships.</p>
<p class="center">PART III</p>
<p>What is love—Should include mental conjugality,
spiritual sympathy and physical attraction—Responsibility
in marriage—Antecedents, talents and habits of
young man—The law of heredity—Beneficial—Effects of
stimulants upon offspring—Inherited effects of immorality—Good
characteristics also transmitted—Requisites
in a husband—Engagements—Benefits of, evils of—Holding
to the highest ideals—Weddings—Gifts, tours
and realities of life.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy, post free</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Woman Ought
to Know.”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY</p>
<p class="praise">Lady Henry Somerset</p>
<p>“An extremely valuable book, and I wish that it may
be widely circulated.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Laura Ormiston Chant</p>
<p>“The book ought to be in the hands of every girl on
her fifteenth birthday, as a safe guide and teacher along
the difficult path of womanhood.”</p>
<p class="praise">Margaret Warner Morley</p>
<p>“There is an awful need for the book, and it does
what it has undertaken to do better than anything of the
kind I ever read.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. May Wright Sewall</p>
<p>“I am profoundly grateful that a subject of such information
to young woman should be treated in a manner
at once so noble and so delicate.”</p>
<p class="praise">Elizabeth Cady Stanton</p>
<p>“It is a grave mistake for parents to try to keep their
children ignorant of the very questions on which they
should have scientific information.”</p>
<p class="praise">Lillian M. N. Stevens</p>
<p>“There is a great need of carefully, delicately written
books upon the subjects treated in this series. I am
gratefully glad that the author has succeeded so well,
and I trust great and enduring good will be the result.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Matilda B. Carse</p>
<p>“It is pure and instructive on the delicate subjects
that mean so much to our daughters, to their future as
home-keepers, wives and mothers, and to the future generations.”</p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Woman of Forty-five
Ought to Know”</p>
<p class="author">BY MRS. EMMA F. A. DRAKE, M. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">KNOWLEDGE OF CLIMACTERIC NECESSARY</p>
<p>Why women are not prepared to meet the climacteric—The
fear that unnerves many—Error of views concerning
“Change of Life”—Correct teaching stated—Influence
of medical literature—Three periods in a
woman’s life—Relation of early habits to later aches and
ills—The menopause—Conditions which influence the
period of the climacteric—The age at which it usually
appears—Effects of heredity—Childless women—Mothers
of large families—Effects of different occupations—Excesses.</p>
<p class="center">HERALDS OF CHANGE—DISEASES AND REMEDIES</p>
<p>Mental states during menopause—Change in blood
currents—Flushes, chilliness, dizziness, etc.—Nervous
Symptoms—Disturbed mental and nervous equilibriums—Nature
as woman’s helper—Troublesome ailments—Mental
troubles considered—Suggested help—Cancer—Benefits
named—Apprehensions dispelled—How to banish
worry—Simplifying daily duty—An eminent physician’s
prescription—A word to single women—Reluctance
of unmarried women to meet the menopause—How to
prolong one’s youth—Dress during this period—The
mother “At Sea”—Guarding against becoming gloomy—Effects
of patent medicine advertising—Drug fiends—Lustful
indulgence.</p>
<p class="center">WHAT BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD REMEMBER</p>
<p>Slights and inattentions keenly felt by her—Need of
patience—A word of private counsel—Value of little
attentions—Wife’s duty to her husband—Holding husband’s
affections—Making home attractive—Unselfishness.</p>
<p class="center">AUTO-SUGGESTION AND OTHER SUGGESTIONS</p>
<p>Influence of mind over body—The mind as a curative
agent—How to rise out of depression—Mental philosophy
and physical betterment—Relation of health to sight—Care
of the teeth—The hair—Constipation—Self cure—Choice
of foods—Exercise—Physical development—Exercise
of mind and soul.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, post free.</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Woman of Forty-five
Ought to Know”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">PRAISED BY THE PRESS</p>
<p>“Will dispell apprehensions aroused by groundless
forebodings.”—<cite>Reformed Church Messenger.</cite></p>
<p>“If the hygienic advice in this book is followed it will
lengthen the lives of women and make their closing
years the happiest and most useful of all.”—<cite>Herald and
Presbyter.</cite></p>
<p>“In no line of literature, perhaps, is such a book so
much needed.”—<cite>New Haven Leader.</cite></p>
<p>“Those who peruse the book only from prurient
curiosity will be disappointed.”—<cite>Cleveland World.</cite></p>
<p>“Should be read by every woman nearing and passing
middle life.”—<cite>Pittsburg Gazette.</cite></p>
<p>“Written in that wholesome sympathetic manner
characteristic of all the books in the Self and Sex
Series.”—<cite>Cleveland Daily World.</cite></p>
<p>“Full of most admirable practical advice and it is
written in a sympathetic manner which is the outcome
of oneness of sex between the author and those whom
she addresses.”—<cite>Syracuse Herald.</cite></p>
<p>“There are some things that a woman of forty-five
does not know—things which she regards with more or
less terror in the expectation—which terror it is the
object of Mrs. Drake to dispel.”—<cite>Rochester Herald.</cite></p>
<p>“There is nothing in the book that could not be proclaimed
from the house-tops, and there is everything in
it that intelligent and thoughtful women should read
and keep for their daughters to read when the proper
time comes.”—<cite>Newark Daily Advertiser.</cite></p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Boy Ought to
Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">PART I</p>
<p>God’s purpose in endowing plants, animals and man
with reproductive power—The question of the origin of
life a natural and proper one—Difference between creating
and making—How God now creates or reproduces
the flowers, insects, fishes and animals—The mamma
and papa plants and the baby plants—The mamma
and papa nature in the stalk of corn—The two natures
united in the same flower—Separated in other plants—The
office of the wind and insects in fertilizing the
flowers—The mamma and papa natures united in the
same oyster—The life of the baby oyster—The two natures
separated in the fishes—The eggs and the baby
fishes—How seeds are made to grow and how eggs are
hatched—The beautiful lives of parent birds—The
bird’s nest, the eggs and the baby birds—Why the eggs
of animals may not be exposed in a nest—The nest
which God has prepared for them—The hatching of the
egg or the birth of the animal—The creation of Adam
and Eve—God created man with power similar to his
creative power—The purity of parentage.</p>
<p class="center">PART II</p>
<p>The manner in which the reproductive organs are injured
in boys by abuse—Comparative anatomy, or points
of resemblance between bodies of birds, animals and
man—Man the only animal with a perfect hand—With
the hand he constructs, builds and blesses—With the
hand he smites, slays and injures others, and degrades
himself.</p>
<p class="center">PART III</p>
<p>The consequences in boys of the abuse of the reproductive
organs—Need of proper information—The moral
effects first to manifest themselves—How secret sin affects
the character of boys—Effects upon the body and
the nerves—Effects upon the brain and mind—The
physical effects that follow.</p>
<p class="center">PARTS IV and V</p>
<p>How boys may preserve their bodies in purity and
strength—Our duty to aid others to avoid pernicious
habits, and to retain or regain their purity and strength.</p>
<p class="center">PARTS VI and VII</p>
<p>How purity and strength may be measurably regained—The
age of adolescence or puberty and its attendant
changes—Its significance and its dangers.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, post free</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Boy Ought to
Know”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">For Boys under Sixteen Years of Age</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY</p>
<p class="praise">Theodore L. Cuyler, D.D.</p>
<p>“‘What a Young Boy Ought to Know’ ought to be in
every home where there is a boy.”</p>
<p class="praise">Lady Henry Somerset</p>
<p>“Calculated to do an immense amount of good. I
sincerely hope it may find its way to many homes.”</p>
<p class="praise">Joseph Cook, D.D., LL.D.</p>
<p>“It is everywhere suggestive, inspiring and strategic
in a degree, as I think, not hitherto matched in literature
of its class.”</p>
<p class="praise">Charles L. Thompson, D.D.</p>
<p>“Why was not this book written centuries ago?”</p>
<p class="praise">Anthony Comstock</p>
<p>“It lifts the mind and thoughts upon a high and lofty
plane upon delicate subjects.”</p>
<p class="praise">Edward W. Bok</p>
<p>“It has appealed to me in a way which no other book
of its kind has.”</p>
<p class="praise">Bishop John H. Vincent, D.D., LL.D.</p>
<p>“You have handled with great delicacy and wisdom
an exceedingly difficult subject.”</p>
<p class="praise">John Willis Baer</p>
<p>“I feel confident that it can do great good, and I mean
that my boys shall have the contents placed before
them.”</p>
<p class="praise">Mrs. Mary A. Livermore, LL.D.</p>
<p>“Full of physiological truths, which all children
ought to know, at a proper age; will be read by boys
without awakening a prurient thought.”</p>
<p class="praise">Josiah Strong, D.D.</p>
<p>“A foolish and culpable silence on the part of most
parents leaves their children to learn, too often from
vicious companions, sacred truth in an unhallowed
way.”</p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Man Ought to
Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">STRENGTH</p>
<p>The value of physical strength—The weak man handicapped—Threefold
nature of man—Relation of the
physical, intellectual and moral—Impair one, you injure
all—The physical foundation—Man’s strong sexual nature—Sexuality
strongly marked in all great men—Importance
of manly mastery of sexual nature—Personal
purity—Only one moral standard for men and women.</p>
<p class="center">WEAKNESS</p>
<p>Inherited weakness—How overcome—Acquired weakness—How
produced—The effects of secret vice—What
should be done—Losses in sleep—When to consult a
physician—Danger from quacks and charlatans—What
are normal and abnormal losses—Medical authorities
quoted—Subject illustrated—Important directions.</p>
<p class="center">SOCIAL VICE</p>
<p>Alarming ignorance concerning the diseases which
accompany vice—Why physicians do not acquaint their
patients with the nature of these diseases—The prevalence—All
forms of venereal diseases leave terrible
results—Character and consequences of gonorrhœa—Later
complications—Chordee, stricture, blindness, etc.—How
healthy brides become early and permanent invalids—Chancroid
and chancre—The primary, secondary
and tertiary forms of syphilis—The beginning, progress
and end—Can it ever be cured—May the man ever
marry—Effects upon wife and children.</p>
<p class="center">THE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS</p>
<p>Their purpose and prostitution—Marriage a great
blessing—Difference between creation and procreation—All
life from the seed or the egg—The reproduction of
plants, fishes, birds and animals contrasted—An interesting
study.</p>
<p class="center">MAN’S RELATION TO WOMAN</p>
<p>Importance of a right relation to women—The nature
of marriage—The friends and foes of marriage—Who
should not marry—The selection of a wife—Some general
rules—Importance of great caution—Causes of unhappiness
in married life—Early and late marriages.</p>
<p class="center">HINDRANCES AND HELPS</p>
<p>The choice of companions, books, pictures, amusements,
recreations—Liquors and tobacco—Self-mastery—Right
aim in life—Industry, early rising—The influence
of an ennobling affection—Education—The Sabbath,
the Church and the Bible.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy, post free</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Man Ought to
Know.”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">What Eminent People Say:</p>
<p class="praise">Francis E. Clark, D. D.</p>
<p>“Of exceeding value to every youth just entering
upon manhood. It is written reverently
but very plainly, and I believe will save a multitude
of young men from evils unspeakable.”</p>
<p class="praise">John Clifford, D. D.</p>
<p>“One of the best books for dawning manhood
that has fallen into my hands. It goes to the
roots of human living. It is thoroughly manly.
Dr. Stall has laid the rising generation under
an immense obligation.”</p>
<p class="praise">J. Wilbur Chapman, D. D.</p>
<p>“I bear willing testimony that I believe this
book ought to be in the hands of every young
man in this country.”</p>
<p class="praise">Paul F. Munde, M. D., LL. D.</p>
<p class="center smaller">Professor of Gynæcology in the New York Polyclinic
and at Dartmouth College, says:</p>
<p>“I most heartily commend not only the principle
but the execution of what it aims to
teach.”</p>
<p class="praise">Eugene H. Porter, M. D., LL. D.</p>
<p class="center smaller">President of the Homeopathic Medical Society of the
State of New York; Professor Materia Medica,
New York Homeopathic Medical
College, etc., says:</p>
<p>“We should especially commend the volume
for its reliability in statement, and, as a medical
man, I highly indorse the medical teachings
of the book. It is trustworthy and sound. It
is a work which should be in the hands of
every young man.”</p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Husband Ought
to Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">PART I</p>
<p class="center">WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING HIMSELF</p>
<p>The true foundation for happiness in married life—Physical,
intellectual and sexual differences between
men and women—Each complemental to the other, and
complete only when mated—The three theories regarding
coition—The correct theory—The physical cost of
procreation—Illustrated in insects, animals and man—What
is excess—Effects of marital continence—The husband’s
duty to his wife—Physical defects and deficiencies
of husband or wife—Misery entailed by vice—Effects
upon wife—Upon children—Purity and fidelity.</p>
<p class="center">PART II</p>
<p class="center">WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING HIS WIFE</p>
<p class="center">I THE BRIDE</p>
<p>Marriage the most trying event in a woman’s life—Earliest
mistake which most young husbands make—Few
intelligent guardians of their brides—Threefold
classification of women—Causes of differences.</p>
<p class="center">II THE WIFE</p>
<p>Her manifold duties as wife, mother and housekeeper—God
has fitted her for her sphere—The mother-nature—Barrenness
and sterility—Physical, social, intellectual
and moral benefits of motherhood and fatherhood—Aversion
and evasion—God’s purpose in marriage—Limitation
of offspring—Marital excess—The wrongs which
wives suffer because of ignorant and unthinking husbands—Repellant
periods in the life of woman.</p>
<p class="center">III THE MOTHER</p>
<p>Purposed and prepared parenthood—Conception—The
marvels of fœtal life and growth—Changes during the
months of gestation—The husband’s duty to wife and
offspring—What the wife has a right to expect before
and during confinement—Ignorant, unthinking and unsympathetic
husbands—The child in the home—Real
life and genuine happiness—The mother while nursing—Protection
of child from impure nurses.</p>
<p class="center">PART III</p>
<p class="center">WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING HIS CHILDREN</p>
<p>Heredity—Prenatal influences—Physical conditions
prior to and at conception—Stirpiculture—Essentials of
seed, soil and care—“Longings,” markings, etc.—Can
sex of offspring be governed—Cause of idiocy—Blindness,
etc.—The right to be well-born—Parental discipline
during first two years—Duties during childhood—Nursery
influences—Honest answers to honest inquiries—How
to secure purity in thought and life of children.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Young Husband Ought
to Know”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">WHAT EMINENT PEOPLE SAY</p>
<p class="praise">Chas. M. Sheldon, D. D.</p>
<p>“I believe the book will do great good, and I hope its
message may be used for the bettering of the homes of
the world.”</p>
<p class="praise">Rev. F. B. Meyer, B. A.</p>
<p>“I greatly commend this series of manuals, which are
written lucidly and purely, and will afford the necessary
information without pandering to unholy and sensual
passion.”</p>
<p class="praise">Hon. S. M. Jones</p>
<p>“I am glad to say that my study of it indicates that you
have been led by a pure love for your kind to write one
of the most helpful and valuable books that it has been
my privilege to see in many days.”</p>
<p class="praise">Bishop John H. Vincent, D. D., LL. D.</p>
<p>“Straightforward, clean, kind, clear and convincing.
A copy ought to go with every marriage certificate.”</p>
<p class="praise">Rev. Newell Dwight Hillis</p>
<p>“It is a wholesome and helpful contribution to a most
difficult subject, and its reading will help to make the
American home happier and more safely guarded.”</p>
<p class="praise">Rev. A. C. Dixon, D. D.</p>
<p>“I take pleasure in commending it to husbands, young
and old. The vice of ignorance on these delicate but
important subjects has done much to increase the
business of divorce courts and wreck homes.”</p>
<p class="praise">Amos R. Wells</p>
<p>“The race would be infinitely stronger in body and
soul if all husbands would obtain this book and follow
its precepts.”</p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Man of Forty-five Ought
to Know.”</p>
<p class="author">BY SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.</p>
<p class="center b">Condensed Table of Contents</p>
<p class="center">PART I</p>
<p class="center">WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING
HIMSELF</p>
<p>Prevalent ignorance concerning physical changes in
men of middle-life—Sad results of such ignorance—Reasons
for change—Evidences of these changes—Husband
and wife constitute a reproductive unit—The two natures
responsive in activity and repose—Somewhat similar
changes in both—The age at which climacteric or
“change of life” occurs in men—Climacteric and adolescence
contrasted—The testimony of medical men to the
fact—Only young men need the testimonials of authorities—Old
men know it—Compensations which follow
the sexual hush—Physical and mental effects—Changes
more gradual than in women—Many men intellectually
at their best after sexual hush—To them time and experience
open their richest treasures—Moderation in
all things enjoined—Sexual moderation emphasized—Virility,
how destroyed, how preserved—Effects of exercise,
food, stimulants, sleep, employment, etc.—Functional
disorders—Benefit of intelligence—Enlargement
of the prostate gland—Manifestations, cause and precautionary
measures—The marriage of men of middle
life—Physical unfitness and effects—Rights of the unborn—The
years beyond—The man at forty determines
what the man at eighty shall be—Value of purpose to
keep strong and bright—Examples.</p>
<p class="center">PART II</p>
<p class="center">WHAT HE OUGHT TO KNOW CONCERNING
HIS WIFE</p>
<p>Reproduction the primal purpose of marriage—Attractive
and repellent periods in life of woman—Climacteric
or change of life the most repellent period—Disappearance
of menstruation only an outward manifestation—The
phenomenon explained—Reasons for change
made plain—Not a period of stress for all women—How to
meet the menopause—Occupation, diet, fresh air, exercise,
sleep, companionship, sexual repose, etc., etc.—Mortality
and insanity greater among men—The aches
and ills which attend the menopause—Aversion to husband,
children and friends—Physical changes which attend
and follow change of life in women—Modified sexual
nature—Growths—Mental changes and conditions—Need
of intelligence upon the part of husband and
others.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, post free</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">“What a Man of Forty-five Ought
to Know”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="praise">PRAISED BY THE PRESS</p>
<p>“We do not hesitate to recommend.”—<cite>Experience.</cite></p>
<p>“A reliable and instructive guide, in sexual matters
and yet pure and chaste in style.”—<cite>Journal of Dermatology.</cite></p>
<p>“Information of vital importance.”—<cite>Pittsburgh Christian
Advocate.</cite></p>
<p>“Written in an honest, frank, and fearless way.”—<cite>Christian
Standard.</cite></p>
<p>“It is a clean book which one should sit down to
alone.”—<cite>The Evangelist.</cite></p>
<p>“These books deserve to be circulated by the million.”—<cite>Leslie’s
Weekly.</cite></p>
<p>“To many men the guidance of this book will be a
timely benediction.”—<cite>Chicago Appeal.</cite></p>
<p>“The utterance of one who has an accurate knowledge
of men.”—<cite>Brooklyn Citizen.</cite></p>
<p>“It is a helpful book and in all important particulars
sound in its medical statements.”—<cite>Baltimore Sun.</cite></p>
<p>“This book is recommendable not only to the intelligent
layman to read himself and hand to others, but
also to the physician, who ought to welcome it as a
means to refresh an important part of his physiologic
knowledge.”—<cite>Alkaloidal Clinic.</cite></p>
<p>“A man who is a fool at forty-five (and there are
many of them) is pretty hard to manage. There are
certain things which he ought to know without being
told, but it is difficult to teach him these things. He
needs reasoning with and plain talking to. This book
does it in a healthy, elevating manner. These cases are
often very troublesome to the physician. It would be
well to have this book handy to lend to such patients.
This course will help the physician to manage his patient
and help the patient. This book will do much good.
There has been a need for just such a work.”—<cite>Medical
World.</cite></p>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="center b">JUST PUBLISHED</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">A New Devotional Book</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="title">“Faces Toward the Light”</p>
<p class="author"><span class="smaller">BY</span><br />
SYLVANUS STALL, D.D.</p>
<p class="center">Author of “Methods of Church Work,” “Five-Minute
Object Sermons to Children,” “Talks to the
King’s Children,” “Bible Selections
for Daily Devotion,” etc.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">SOME CHAPTERS IN THE BOOK</p>
<p>Glory After Gloom.—The Dangerous Hour.—The
Concealed Future.—Gleaning for Christ.—Hunger
and Health.—Direction and Destiny.—God
of the Valleys.—Coins and Christians.—Reserved
Blessings.—Comfort in Sorrow.—The
Better Service.—Not Knowing Whither.—Good,
but Good for Nothing.—No Easy Place.—The
Dead Prayer Office.—How God Reveals Himself.—Starting
Late.—Source of Power.—Toiling
at a Heavy Tow.—What He Gave and What
He Got.—Vacation Lessons.—Wheat or Weeds,
etc., etc., etc.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
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<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy</td>
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<td>4 s.</td>
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<div class="ad">
<p class="center b">JUST PUBLISHED</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">New Revised Edition</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="title">“Manhood’s Morning”</p>
<p class="author">BY JOSEPH ALFRED CONWELL</p>
<p class="center b">An Invaluable Book for Every Young Man</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p>Chapter 1, Twelve Million Young Men.
Chapter 2, The Best Years of Life. Chapter 3,
What Some Young Men Have Done. Chapter
4, Wild Oats and Other Weeds. Chapter 5,
Reason Why Young Men Go Wrong. Chapter
6, Paying the Piper. Chapter 7, Where Young
Men Belong. Chapter 8, What Young Men
Must Be. Chapter 9, What Young Men Must
Do.</p>
<p class="center b">COMMENDATIONS</p>
<p class="praise">From Prof. Lyman B. Sperry, M.D., Lecturer
and Author</p>
<p>“Every young man should read it yearly from the
time he is fourteen till he is twenty-eight.”</p>
<p class="praise">Bishop J. H. Vincent, LL.D. Chancellor of
Chautauqua University</p>
<p>“Every minister who deals with young men, and
every young man who cares to avoid evil and loves
righteousness should read the book.”</p>
<p class="praise">Frances E. Willard, President National
W. C. T. U.</p>
<p>“We advise parents to send for a copy of this book
to give as a present to their sons.”</p>
<p class="praise">T. J. Sanders, A.M., Ph.D., President Otterbein
University, Ohio</p>
<p>“A remarkable series of Chapters to young men—stimulating
and suggestive.”</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<table summary="Pricing">
<tr>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">Price {</td>
<td>$1.00</td>
<td rowspan="2" class="valign">} net, per copy</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>4 s.</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div>
<hr class="tb" />
<div class="ad">
<p class="title">OTHER BOOKS<br />
<span class="smaller">BY</span><br />
SYLVANUS STALL, D. D.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">Five-Minute Object Sermons to Children</p>
<p>“Far better than Newton’s, the anecdotes and subjects
of which have long since become common property.
Many of the subjects are very fresh and telling.”—New
York Evangelist.</p>
<p>Cloth, 253 pp. Price, $1.00, post free.</p>
<p class="center b">Talks to the King’s Children</p>
<p>“The Rev. Dr. Sylvanus Stall, is one of the best
preachers for young people in the American pulpit. His
‘Five-Minute Object Sermons’ to children was an ideal
book in its class. The present volume is a second series
of the same kind, and will be found to have no less point
and charm than the volume published two years ago.”—New
York Independent.</p>
<p>Cloth, 249 pp. Price $1.00, post free.</p>
<p class="center b">Methods of Church Work</p>
<p>“It is stimulating, helpful, worth its weight in gold to
any minister who wishes to accomplish anything for the
kingdom of Christ.”—New York Christian Intelligencer.</p>
<p>Cloth, 304 pp. Price $1.50, post free.</p>
<p class="center b">Bible Selections for Daily Devotion.</p>
<p>The most spiritual and helpful portion of the entire
Bible arranged in the order of the original text. Comprises
about one-third of the whole Bible.</p>
<p>“That there has been a great falling off in the good
old custom of daily family worship, there can be no
doubt. Just how much of this deplorable condition is
due to the difficulty of hastily selecting Scriptural passages
suited to the service, it might be difficult to determine.
But fully persuaded that this is an obstacle of
considerable moment, Dr. Stall, after some three year’s
work, has selected a series of 365 devotional readings
from Genesis to Revelation.”—Christian Advocate, Pittsburg.</p>
<p>Cloth, 12mo., 686 pages. Price, $1.00, post free.</p>
<p class="center"><span class="b">Pastor’s Pocket Record</span><br />
(Undenominational.)</p>
<p>“Its departments covers everything a minister wishes
to record.”—W. F. Crafts, D. D.</p>
<p>20 Departments. 200 pp., Levant morocco. Price, 50c.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center">ADDRESS ALL ORDERS TO</p>
<p class="center larger">The Vir Publishing Company.</p>
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<div class="ad">
<p class="center b">THE ONLY JOURNAL OF ITS KIND
PUBLISHED.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="title">The Purity Advocate</p>
<p class="center smaller b">A Quarterly Periodical in Modern Ornamental Dress,
Illustrated and Handsomely Printed.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center">DEVOTED TO THE CAUSE OF<br />
<span class="b">A PURE MANHOOD AND WOMANHOOD</span></p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center b">Ten Cents a Copy in America and Canada.<br />
Sixpence in Great Britain (stamps accepted).</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p>Articles appear in its columns from such well-known
and distinguished authors as Josiah Strong, D. D., Jessie
A. Ackerman, Martha B. Earle, J. R. Miller, D. D., Theodore
Cuyler, D. D., Mrs. Mabel L. Conklin, Mrs. Margaret
E. Sangster, Mrs. Dr. Mary Wood-Allen, Sharlott M. Hall,
Mrs. Emma F. A. Drake, M. D., Margaret S. Hormel,
Rev. C. W. Arnold, M. D., Ella Wheeler Wilcox, Canon
E. Lyttleton, Washington Gladden, D. D., Sylvanus Stall,
D. D., and many other noted writers.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center">SAMPLE COPIES FREE.</p>
<hr class="adbreak" />
<p class="center">THE VIR PUBLISHING COMPANY,<br />
<span class="smaller">640 Land Title Building,<br />
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA.</span></p>
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<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 57406 ***</div>
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