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diff --git a/5597.txt b/5597.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8efc3f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/5597.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1529 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook The Story of My Life, by Georg Ebers, v5 +#158 in our series by Georg Ebers + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Story of My Life, Volume 5. + +Author: Georg Ebers + +Release Date: April, 2004 [EBook #5597] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on August 24, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORY OF MY LIFE, BY EBERS, V5*** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF GEORG EBERS + +THE STORY OF MY LIFE FROM CHILDHOOD TO MANHOOD + +Volume 5. + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +THE GYMNASIUM AND THE FIRST PERIOD OF UNIVERSITY LIFE. + +It was hard for me to leave Keilhau, but our trip to Rudolstadt, to which +my dearest companions accompanied me, was merry enough. With Barop's +permission we had a banquet in the peasant tavern there, whose cost was +defrayed by the kreutzers which had been paid as fines for offences +against table rules. At one of these tables where we larger boys sat, +only French was spoken; at another only the purest German; and we had +ourselves made the rule that whoever used a word of his native tongue at +one, or a foreign one at the other, should be fined a kreutzer. + +How merry were these banquets, at which usually several teachers were +welcome guests! + +One of the greatest advantages of Keilhau was that our whole lives, and +even our pleasures, were pure enough not to shun a teacher's eyes. And +yet we were true, genuine boys, whose overplus of strength found vent not +only in play, but all sorts of foolish tricks. + +A smile still hovers around my lips when I think of the frozen snow-man +on whose head we put a black cap and then placed in one of the younger +teacher's rooms to personate a ghost, and the difficulty we had in +transporting the monster, or when I remember our pranks in the dormitory. + +I believe I am mentioning these cheerful things here to give myself a +brief respite, for the portion of my life which followed is the one I +least desire to describe. + +Rousseau says that man's education is completed by art, Nature, +and circumstances. The first two factors had had their effect upon me, +and I was now to learn for the first time to reckon independently with +the last; hitherto they had been watched and influenced in my favour by +others. This had been done not only by masters of the art of pedagogy, +but by their no less powerful co-educators, my companions, among whom +there was not a single corrupt, ill-disposed boy. I was now to learn +what circumstances I should find in my new relations, and in what way +they would prove teachers to me. + +I was to be placed at school in Kottbus, at that time still a little +manufacturing town in the Mark. My mother did not venture to keep me in +Berlin during the critical years now approaching. Kottbus was not far +away, and knowing that I was backward in the science that Dr. Boltze, +the mathematician, taught, she gave him the preference over the heads +of the other boarding-schools in the Mark. + +I was not reluctant to undertake the hard work, yet I felt like a colt +which is led from the pastures to the stable. + +A visit to my grandmother in Dresden, and many pleasures which I was +permitted to share with my brothers and sisters, seemed to me like the +respite before execution. + +My mother accompanied me to my new school, and I can not describe the +gloomy impression made by the little manufacturing town on the flat +plains of the Mark, which at that time certainly possessed nothing that +could charm a boy born in Berlin and educated in a beautiful mountain +valley. + +In front of Dr. Boltze's house we found the man to whose care I was to be +entrusted. At that time he was probably scarcely forty years old, short +in stature and very erect, with a shrewd face whose features indicated an +iron sternness of character, an impression heightened by the thick, bushy +brows which met above his nose. + +He himself said that people in Pomerania believed that men with such +eyebrows stood in close relations to Satan. Once, while on his way in a +boat from Greifswald to the island of Rugen, the superstitious sailors +were on the point of throwing him overboard because they attributed their +peril to him as the child of the devil, yet, he added--and he was a +thoroughly truthful man--the power which these strange eyebrows gave him +over others, and especially over men of humble station, induced them to +release him. + +But after we had learned what a jovial, indulgent comrade was hidden +behind the iron tyrant who gazed so threateningly at us from the black +eyes beneath the bushy brows, our timidity vanished, and at last we found +it easy enough to induce him to change a resolute "No" into a yielding +"Yes." + +His wife, on the contrary, was precisely his opposite, for she wielded +the sceptre in the household with absolute sway, though so fragile a +creature that it seemed as if a breath would blow her away. No one could +have been a more energetic housekeeper. She was as active an assistant +to her husband with her pen as with her tongue. Most of my reports are +in her writing. Besides this, one pretty, healthy child after another +was born, and she allowed herself but a brief time for convalescence. +I was the godfather of one of these babies, an honour shared by my +school-mate, Von Lobenstein. The baptismal ceremony was performed in the +Boltze house. The father and we were each to write a name on a slip of +paper and lay it beside the font. We had selected the oddest ones we +could think of, and when the pastor picked up the slips he read Gerhard +and Habakkuk. Thanks to the care and wisdom of his excellent mother, the +boy throve admirably in spite of his cognomen, and I heard to my great +pleasure that he has become an able man. + +This boyish prank is characteristic of our relations. If we did not go +too far, Frau Boltze always took our part, and understood how to smooth +her husband's frowning brow quickly enough. Besides, it was a real +pleasure to be on good terms with her, for, as the daughter of a +prominent official, she had had an excellent education, and her quick +wit did honour to her native city, Berlin. + +Had Dr. Boltze performed his office of tutor with more energy, it would +have been better for us; but in other respects I can say of him nothing +but good. + +The inventions he made in mechanics, I have been told by experts, were +very important for the times and deserved greater success. Among them +was a coach moved by electricity. + +My mother and I were cordially welcomed by this couple, on conversing +with whom my first feeling of constraint vanished. + +The examination next morning almost placed me higher than I expected, +for the head-master who heard me translate at first thought me prepared +for the first class; but Pro-Rector Braune, who examined me in Latin +grammar, said that I was fitted only for the second. + +When I left the examination hall I was introduced by Dr. Boltze to one of +my future school-fellows in the person of an elegant young gentleman who +had just alighted from a carriage and was patting the necks of the horses +which he had driven himself. + +I had supposed him to be a lieutenant in civilian's dress, for his dark +mustache, small whiskers, and the military cut of his hair, which already +began to be somewhat thin, made me add a lustrum to his twenty-one years. + +After my new tutor had left us this strange school-fellow entered into +conversation with me very graciously, and after telling me many things +about the school and its management which seemed incredible, he passed +on to the pupils, among whom were some "nice fellows," and mentioned a +number of names, principally of noble families whose bearers had come +here to obtain the graduation certificate, the key without which +so many doors are closed in Prussia. + +Then he proceeded to describe marvels which I was afterwards to witness, +but which at that time I did not know whether I ought to consider +delightful or quite the contrary. + +Of course, I kept my doubts to myself and joined in when he laughed; but +my heart was heavy. Could I avoid these companions? Yet I had come to +be industrious, prepare quickly for the university, and give my mother +pleasure. + +Poor woman! She had made such careful inquiries before sending me here; +and what a dangerous soil for a precocious boy just entering the years of +youth was this manufacturing town and an institution so badly managed as +the Kottbus School! I had come hither full of beautiful ideals and +animated by the best intentions; but the very first day made me suspect +how many obstacles I should encounter; though I did not yet imagine the +perils which lay in my companion's words. All the young gentlemen who +had been drawn hither by the examination were sons of good families, +but the part which these pupils, and I with them, played in society, +at balls, and in all the amusements of the cultivated circle in the town +was so prominent, the views of life and habits which they brought with +them so completely contradicted the idea which every sensible person has +of a grammar-school boy, that their presence could not fail to injure the +school. + +Of course, all this could not remain permanently concealed from the +higher authorities. The old head-master was suddenly retired, and one +of the best educators summoned in his place man who quickly succeeded +in making the decaying Kottbus School one of the most excellent in all +Prussia. I had the misfortune of being for more than two years a pupil +under the government of the first head-master, and the good luck of +spending nearly the same length of time under the charge of his +successor. + +My mother was satisfied with the result of the examination, and the next +afternoon she drove with me to our relatives at Komptendorf. Frau von +Berndt, the youngest daughter of our beloved kinsman, Moritz von +Oppenfeld, united to the elegance of a woman reared in a large city +the cordiality of the mistress of a country home. Her husband won the +entire confidence of every one who met the gaze of his honest blue eyes. +He had given up the legal profession to take charge of his somewhat +impoverished paternal estate, and soon transformed it into one of the +most productive in the whole neighbourhood. + +He was pleased that I, a city boy, knew so much about field and forest, +so at my very first visit he invited me to repeat it often. + +The next morning I took leave of my mother, and my school life began. +In many points I was in advance of the other pupils in the second class, +in others behind them; but this troubled me very little--school seemed a +necessary evil. My real life commenced after its close, and here also my +natural cheerfulness ruled my whole nature. The town offered me few +attractions, but the country was full of pleasures. Unfortunately, +I could not go to Komptendorf as often as I wished, for it was a two +hours' walk, and horses and carriages were not always at my disposal. +Yet many a Saturday found me there, enjoying the delight of chatting with +my kind hostess about home news and other pleasant things, or reading +aloud to her. + +Even in the second year of my stay at Kottbus I went to every dance given +on the estates in the neighbourhood and visited many a delightful home in +the town. Then there were long walks--sometimes with Dr. Boltze and my +school-mates, sometimes with friends, and often alone. + +We frequently took a Sunday walk, which often began on Saturday +afternoon, usually with merry companions and in the society of our stern +master, who, gayer than the youngest of us, needed our care rather than +we his. In this way I visited the beautiful Muskau, and still more +frequently the lovely woodlands of the Spree, a richly watered region +intersected by numerous arms of the river and countless canals, resting +as quietly under dense masses of foliage as a child asleep at noontide +beneath the shadow of a tree. + +The alders and willows, lindens and oaks, which grow along the banks, +are superb; flocks of birds fly twittering and calling from one bush and +branch to another; but all human intercourse is carried on, as in Venice, +by boats which glide noiselessly to and fro. + +Whoever desires a faithful and minute picture of this singular region, +which reminded me of many scenes in Holland and many of Hobbema's +paintings, should read The Goddess of Noon. It contains a number of +descriptions whose truth and vividness are matchless. + +Every trip into the woodlands of the Spree offered an abundance of +beautiful and pleasurable experiences, but I remember with still greater +enjoyment my leafy nooks on the river-bank. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +THE TIME OF EFFERVESCENCE, AND MY SCHOOL MATES. + +Although the events of my school-days at Kottbus long since blended +together in my, memory, my life there is divided into two sharply +defined portions. The latter commences with Professor Tzschirner's +appointment and the reform in the school. + +From the first day of the latter's government I can recall what was +taught us in the class and how it influenced me, while I have entirely +forgotten what occurred during the interim. This seems strange; for, +while Langethal's, Middendorf's, and Barop's instruction, which I +received when so much younger, remains vividly impressed on my memory, +and it is the same with Tzschirner's lessons, the knowledge I acquired +between my fifteenth and seventeenth year is effaced as completely as +though I had passed a sponge over the slate of my memory. A chasm yawns +between these periods of instruction, and I cannot ascribe this +circumstance entirely to the amusements which withdrew my thoughts from +study; for they continued under Tzschirner's rule, though with some +restrictions. I wish I could believe that everything which befel me +then had remained entirely without influence on my inner life. + +A demon--I can find no other name--urged me to all sorts of follies, many +of which I still remember with pleasure, and, thank Heaven, not a single +one which a strict teacher--supposing that he had not forgotten how to +put himself into the place of a youth--would seriously censure. The +effervescing spirits which did not find vent in such pranks obtained +expression in a different form. + +I had begun to write, and every strong emotion was uttered in verses, +which I showed to the companions from whom I could expect sympathy. My +school-mates were very unlike. Among the young gentlemen who paid a high +price to attend the school not a single one had been really industrious +and accomplished anything. But neither did any one of the few lads whose +fathers were peasants, or who belonged to the lower ranks, stand at the +head of his class. They were very diligent, but success rarely +corresponded with the amount of labour employed. The well-educated +but by no means wealthy middle class supplied the school with its best +material. + +The evolution of the human soul is a strange thing. The period during +which, in my overflowing mirth, I played all sorts of wild pranks, and at +school worked earnestly for one teacher only, often found me toiling late +at night for hours with burning head over a profound creation--I called +it The Poem of the World--in which I tried to represent the origin of +cosmic and human life. + +Many other verses, from a sonnet to the beautiful ears of a pretty cousin +to the commencement of the tragedy of Panthea and Abradatus, were written +at that time; but I owe The Poem of the World special gratitude, for it +kept me from many a folly, and often held me for weeks at my desk during +the evening hours which many of my comrades spent in the tavern. +Besides, it attracted the new head-master's attention to my poetical +tastes, for a number of verses had been left by mistake in an exercise- +book. He read them, and asked to see the rest. But I could not fulfil +the wish, for they contained many things which could not fail to offend +him; so I gave him only a few of the tamest passages, and can still see +him smile in his peculiar way as he read them in my presence. He said +something about "decided talent," and when preparations for the +celebration of the birthday of King Frederick William IV were made he +gave me the task of composing an original poem. I gladly accepted it. +Writing was a great pleasure, and though my productions at school were +far too irregular for me to call them good, I was certainly the best +declaimer. + + + + + THE NEW HEAD OF THE SCHOOL. + +Before passing on to other subjects, I must devote a few words to the +remodelling of the school and its new head. + +At the end of my first term in the first class we learned that we were to +have a new teacher, and one who would rule with a rod of iron. Terrible +stories of his Draconian severity were in circulation, and his first +address gave us reason to fear the worst, for the tall man of forty in +the professor's chair was very imposing in his appearance. His smoothly +shaven upper lip and brown whiskers, his erect bearing and energetic +manner, reminded one of an English parliamentary leader, but his words +sounded almost menacing. He said that an entirely new house must be +erected. We and the teachers must help him. To the obedient he would +be a good friend; but to the refractory, no matter what might be their +position, he would---- What followed made many of us nudge one another, +and the young men who attended the school merely for the sake of the +examination left it in a body. Many a teacher even changed colour. + +This reorganizer, Professor Tzschirner, had formerly been principal of +the Magdalen Gymnasium at Breslau. In energy and authoritative manner he +resembled Barop, but he was also an eminent scholar and a thorough man of +the world. The authorities in Berlin made an excellent choice, and we +members of the first class soon perceived that he not only meant kindly +by us, but that we had obtained in him a teacher far superior to any we +had possessed before. He required a great deal, but he was a good friend +to every one who did his duty. His kindly intention and inspiring +influence made themselves felt in our lives; for he invited to his house +the members of the first class whom he desired to influence, and his +charming, highly educated wife helped him entertain us, so that we +preferred an evening there to almost any other amusements. Study began +to charm us, and I can only repeat that he seemed to recall Langethal's +method and awaken many things which the latter had given me, and which, +as it were, had fallen asleep during the interval. He again aroused in +my soul the love for the ancients, and his interpretations of Horace or +Sophocles were of great service to me in after-years. + +Nor did he by any means forget grammar, but in explaining the classics he +always laid most stress upon the contents, and every lesson of his was a +clever archaeological, aesthetic, and historical lecture. I listened to +none more instructive at the university. Philological and linguistic +details which were not suited for the senior pupils who were being fitted +for other callings than those of the philologist were omitted. But he +insisted upon grammatical correctness, and never lost sight of his maxim, +"The school should teach its pupils to do thoroughly whatever they do at +all." + +He urged us especially to think for ourselves, and to express our ideas +clearly and attractively, not only in writing but verbally. + +It seemed as though a spring breeze had melted the snow from the land, +such bourgeoning and blossoming appeared throughout the school. + +Creative work was done by fits and starts. If the demon seized upon me, +I raved about for a time as before, but I did my duty for the principal. +I not only honoured but loved him, and censure from his lips would have +been unbearable. + +The poem which I was to read on the king's birthday has been preserved, +and as I glanced over it recently I could not help smiling. + +It was to describe the life of Henry the Fowler, and refer to the +reigning king, Frederick William IV. + +The praise of my hero had come from my heart, so the poem found favour, +and in circles so wide that the most prominent man in the neighbourhood, +Prince Puckler-Muskau, sent for my verses. + +I was perfectly aware that they did not represent my best work, but what +father does not find something to admire in his child? So I copied them +neatly, and gave them to Billy, the dwarf, the prince's factotum. A +short time after, while I was walking with some friends in Branitz Park, +the prince summoned me, and greeted me with the exclamation, "You are a +poet!" + +These four words haunted me a long while; nay, at times they even echo in +my memory now. I had heard a hundred anecdotes of this prince, which +could not fail to charm a youth of my disposition. When a young officer +of the Garde-du-Corps in Dresden, after having been intentionally omitted +from the invitations to a court-ball, he hired all the public conveyances +in the city, thus compelling most of the gentlemen and ladies who were +invited either to wade through the snow or forego the dance. + +When the war of 1813 began he entered the service of "the liberators," as +the Russians were then called, and at the head of his regiment challenged +the colonel of a French one to a duel, and seriously wounded him. + +It was apparently natural to Prince Puckler to live according to his own +pleasure, undisturbed by the opinions of his fellow-men, and this +pleasure urged him to pursue a different course in almost every phase of +life. I said "apparently," because, although he scorned the censure of +the people, he never lost sight of it. From a child his intense vanity +was almost a passion, and unfortunately this constant looking about him, +the necessity of being seen, prevented him from properly developing an +intellect capable of far higher things; yet there was nothing petty in +his character. + +His highest merit, however, was the energy with which he understood how +to maintain his independence in the most difficult circumstances in which +life placed him. To one department of activity, especially, that of +gardening, he devoted his whole powers. His parks can vie with the +finest pleasure-grounds of all countries. + +At the time I first met him he was sixty-nine years old, but looked much +younger, except when he sometimes appeared with his hair powdered until +it was snow-white. His figure was tall and finely proportioned, and +though a sarcastic smile sometimes hovered around his lips, the +expression of his face was very kindly. His eyes, which I remember as +blue, were somewhat peculiar. When he wished to please, they sparkled +with a warm--I might almost say tender-light, which must have made many a +young heart throb faster. Yet I think he loved himself too much to give +his whole affection to any one. + +A great man has always seemed to me the greatest of created things, and +though Prince Puckler can scarcely be numbered among the great men of +mankind, he was undoubtedly the greatest among those who surrounded him +at Branitz. In me, the youth of nineteen, he awakened admiration, +interest, and curiosity, and his "You are a poet" sometimes strengthened +my courage, sometimes disheartened me. My boyish ambitions in those days +had but one purpose, and that was the vocation of a poet. + +I was still ignorant that the Muse kisses only those who have won her +love by the greatest sufferings. Life as yet seemed a festal hall, and +as the bird flies from bough to bough wherever a red berry tempts him, my +heart was attracted by every pair of bright eyes which glanced kindly at +me. When I entered upon my last term, my Leporello list was long enough, +and contained pictures from many different classes. But my hour, too, +seemed on the point of striking, for when I went home in my last +Christmas vacation I thought myself really in love with the charming +daughter of the pleasant widow of a landed proprietor. Nay, though only +nineteen, I even considered whether I should not unite her destiny with +mine, and formally ask her hand. My father had offered himself to my +mother at the same age. + +In Kottbus I was treated with the respect due to a man, but at home I was +still "the boy," and the youngest of us three "little ones." Ludo, as a +lieutenant, had a position in society, while I was yet a schoolboy. Amid +these surroundings I realized how hasty and premature my intention had +been. + +Only four of us came to keep Christmas at home, for Martha now lived in +Dresden as the wife of Lieutenant Baron Curt von Brandenstein, the nephew +of our Aunt Sophie's husband. Her wedding ceremony in the cathedral was, +of course, performed by the court-chaplain Strauss. + +My grandmother had died, but my Aunt Sophie still lived in Dresden, and +spent her summers in Blasewitz. Her hospitable house always afforded +an atmosphere very stimulating to intellectual life, so I spent more time +there than in my mother's more quiet residence at Pillnitz. + +I had usually passed part of the long--or, as it was called, the "dog- +day"--vacation in or near Dresden, but I also took pleasant pedestrian +tours in Bohemia, and after my promotion to the senior class, through the +Black Forest. + +It was a delightful excursion! Yet I can never recall it without a +tinge of sadness, for my two companions, a talented young artist named +Rothermund, and a law student called Forster, both died young. We had +met in a railway carriage between Frankfort and Heidelberg and determined +to take the tour together, and never did the Black Forest, with its +mountains and valleys, dark forests and green meadows, clear streams and +pleasant villages, seem to me more beautiful. But still fairer days were +in store after parting from my friends. + +I went to Rippoldsau, where a beloved niece of my mother with her +charming daughter Betsy expected me. Here in the excellent Gohring +hotel I found a delightful party, which only lacked young gentlemen. +My arrival added a pair of feet which never tired of dancing, and every +evening our elders were obliged to entreat and command in order to put an +end to our sport. The mornings were occupied in walks through the superb +forests around Rippoldsau, and the afternoons in bowling, playing graces, +and running races. I speedily lost my susceptible heart to a charming +young lady named Leontine, who permitted me to be her Knight, and I +fancied myself very unjustly treated when, soon after our separation, +I received her betrothal cards. + +The Easter and Christmas vacations I usually spent in Berlin with my +mother, where I was allowed to attend entertainments given by our +friends, at which I met many distinguished persons, among others +Alexander von Humboldt. + +Of political life in the capital at that time there is nothing agreeable +to be said. I was always reminded of the state of affairs immediately +after my arrival; for during the first years of my school life at Kottbus +no one was permitted to enter the city without a paper proving identity, +which was demanded by constables at the exits of railway stations or in +the yards of post-houses. Once, when I had nothing to show except my +report, I was admitted, it is true, but a policeman was sent with me to +my mother's house to ascertain that the boy of seventeen was really the +person he assumed to be, and not a criminal dangerous to the state. + +The beautiful aspirations of the Reichstag in Paulskirche were baffled, +the constitution of the empire had become a noble historical monument +which only a chosen few still remembered. The king, who had had the +opportunity to place himself at the head of united Germany, had preferred +to suppress the freedom of his native land rather than to promote its +unity. Yet we need not lament his refusal. Blood shed together in +mutual enthusiasm is a better cement than the decree of any Parliament. + +The ruling powers at that time saw in the constitution only a cage whose +bars prevented them from dealing a decisive blow, but whatever they could +reach through the openings they tore and injured as far as lay in their +power. The words "reactionary" and "liberal" had become catch terms +which severed families and divided friends. + +At Komptendorf, and almost everywhere in the country, there was scarcely +any one except Conservatives. Herr von Berndt had driven into the city +to the election. Pastor Albin, the clergyman of his village, voted for +the Liberal candidate. When the pastor asked the former, who was just +getting into his carriage, to take him home, the usually courteous, +obliging gentleman, who was driving, exclaimed, "If you don't vote with +me you don't ride with me," and, touching the spirited bays, dashed off, +leaving the pastor behind. + +Dr. Boltze was a "Liberal," and had to endure many a rebuff because his +views were known to the ministry. Our religious instruction might serve +as a mirror of the opinions which were pleasing to the minister. It had +made the man who imparted it superintendent when comparatively young. +The term "mob marriage" for "civil marriage" originated with him, and it +ought certainly to be inscribed in the Golden Book above. + +He was a fiery zealot, who sought to induce us to share his wrath and +scorn when he condemned Bauer, David Strauss, and Lessing. + +When discussing the facts of ecclesiastical history, he understood how to +rouse us to the utmost, for he was a talented man and a clever speaker, +but no word of appeal to the heart, no exhortation to love and peace, +ever crossed his lips. + +The vacations were the only time which I spent with my mother. I ceased +to think of her in everything I did, as was the case in Keilhau. But +after I had been with her for a while, the charm of her personality again +mastered my soul, her love rekindled mine, and I longed to open my whole +heart to her and tell her everything which interested me. She was the +only person to whom I read my Poem of the World, as far as it was +completed. She listened with joyful astonishment, and praised several +passages which she thought beautiful. Then she warned me not to devote +too much time to such things at present, but kissed and petted me in a +way too charming to describe. During the next few days her eyes rested +on me with an expression I had always longed to see. I felt that she +regarded me as a man, and she afterwards confessed how great her hopes +were at that time, especially as Professor Tzschirner had encouraged her +to cherish them. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +A ROMANCE WHICH REALLY HAPPENED. + +After returning to Kottbus from the Christmas vacation I plunged headlong +into work, and as I exerted all my powers I made rapid progress. + +Thus January passed away, and I was so industrious that I often studied +until long after midnight. I had not even gone to the theatre, though I +had heard that the Von Hoxar Company was unusually good. The leading +lady, especially, was described as a miracle of beauty and remarkably +talented. This excited my curiosity, and when a school-mate who had made +the stage manager's acquaintance told us that he would be glad to have us +appear at the next performance of The Robbers, I of course promised to be +present. + +We went through our parts admirably, and no one in the crowded house +suspected the identity of the chorus of robbers who sang with so much +freshness and vivacity. + +I was deeply interested in what was passing on the stage, and, concealed +at the wings, I witnessed the greater part of the play. + +Rarely has so charming an Amalie adorned the boards as the eighteen-year- +old actress, who, an actor's child, had already been several years on the +stage. + +The consequence of this visit to the theatre was that, instead of +studying historical dates, as I had intended, I took out Panthea and +Abradatus, and on that night and every succeeding one, as soon as I had +finished my work for the manager, I added new five-foot iambics to the +tragedy, whose material I drew from Xenophon. + +Whenever the company played I went to the theatre, where I saw the +charming Clara in comedy parts, and found that all the praises I had +heard of her fell short of the truth. Yet I did not seek her +acquaintance. The examination was close at hand, and it scarcely entered +my mind to approach the actress. But the Fates had undertaken to act as +mediators and make me the hero of a romance which ended so speedily, and +in a manner which, though disagreeable, was so far from tragical, that +if I desired to weave the story of my own life into a novel I should be +ashamed to use the extensive apparatus employed by Destiny. + +Rather more than a week had passed since the last performance of The +Robbers, when one day, late in the afternoon, the streets were filled +with uproar. A fire had broken out, and as soon as Professor Braune's +lesson was over I joined the human flood. The boiler in the Kubisch +cloth factory had burst, a part of the huge building near it was in +flames, and a large portion of the walls had fallen. + +When, with several school-mates, I reached the scene of the disaster, the +fire had already been mastered, but many hands were striving to remove +the rubbish and save the workmen buried underneath. I eagerly lent my +aid. + +Meanwhile it had grown dark, and we were obliged to work by the light of +lanterns. Several men, fortunately all living, had been brought out, and +we thought that the task of rescue was completed, when the rumour spread +that some girls employed in one of the lower rooms were still missing. + +It was necessary to enter, but the smoke and dust which filled the air +seemed to preclude this, and, besides, a high wall above the cleared +space in the building threatened to fall. An architect who had directed +with great skill the removal of the debris was standing close beside me +and gave orders to tear down the wall, whose fall would cost more lives. + +Just at that moment I distinctly heard an inexpressibly mournful cry of +pain. A narrow shouldered, sickly-looking man, who spite of his very +plain clothing, seemed to belong to the better classes, heard it too, and +the word "Horrible!" in tones of the warmest sympathy escaped his lips. +Then he bent over the black smoking space, and I did the same. + +The cry was repeated still louder than before, my neighbour and I looked +at each other, and I heard him whisper, "Shall we?" + +In an instant I had flung off my coat, put my handkerchief over my mouth, +and let myself down into the smoking pit, where I pressed forward through +a stifling mixture of lime and particles of sand. + +The groans and cries of the wounded guided me and my companion, who had +instantly followed, and at last two female figures appeared amid the +smoke and dust on which the lanterns, held above, cast flickering rays of +light. + +One was lying prostrate, the other, kneeling, leaned against the wall. +We seized the first one, and staggered towards the spot where the +lanterns glimmered, and loud shouts greeted us. + +Our example had induced others to leap down too. + +As soon as we were released from our burden we returned for the second +victim. My companion now carried a lantern. The woman was no longer +kneeling, but lay face downward several paces nearer to the narrow +passage choked with stones and lime dust which separated her from us. +She had fainted while trying to follow. I seized her feet, and we +staggered on, but ere we could leave the passage which led into the +larger room I heard a loud rattling and thundering above, and the next +instant something struck my head and everything reeled around me. Yet I +did not drop the blue yarn stockings, but tottered on with them into the +large open space, where I fell on my knees. + +Still I must have retained my consciousness, for loud shouts and cries +reached my ears. Then came a moment with which few in life can compare +--the one when I again inhaled draughts of the pure air of heaven. + +I now felt that my hair was stained with blood, which had flowed from a +wound in my head, but I had no time to think of it, for people crowded +around me saying all sorts of pleasant things. The architect, Winzer, +was most cordial of all. His words, "I approve of such foolhardiness, +Herr Ebers," echoed in my ears long afterwards. + +A beam had fallen on my head, but my thick hair had broken the force of +the blow, and the wound in a few days began to heal. + +My companion in peril was at my side, and as my blood-stained face looked +as if my injuries were serious he invited me to his house, which was +close by the scene of the accident. On the way we introduced ourselves +to each other. His name was Hering, and he was the prompter at the +theatre. When the doctor who had been sent to me had finished his task +of sewing up the wound and left us, an elderly woman entered, whose rank +in life was somewhat difficult to determine. She wore gay flowers in her +bonnet, and a cloak made of silk and velvet, but her yellow face was +scarcely that of a "lady." She came to get a part for her daughter; it +was one of the prompter's duties to copy the parts for the various +actors. + +But who was this daughter? + +Fraulein Clara, the fair Amalie of The Robbers, the lovely leading lady +of the theatre. + +My daughter has an autograph of Andersen containing the words, "Life is +the fairest fairy tale." + +Ay, our lives are often like fairy tales. + +The Scheherezade "Fate" had found the bridge to lead the student to the +actress, and the means employed were of no less magnitude than a +conflagration, the rescue of a life, and a wound, as well as the somewhat +improbable combined action of a student and a prompter. True, more +simple methods would scarcely have brought the youth with the examination +in his head and a pretty girl in his heart to seek the acquaintanceship +of the fair actress. + +Fate urged me swiftly on; for Clara's mother was an enthusiastic woman, +who in her youth had herself been an ornament of the stage, and I can +still hear her exclamation, "My dear young sir, every German girl ought +to kiss that wound!" + +I can see her indignantly forbid the prompter to tie his gay +handkerchief over the injury and draw a clean one from her own velvet bag +to bind my forehead. Boltze and my school-mates greeted me very warmly. +Director Tzschirner said something very similar to Herr Winzer's remark. + +And so matters would have remained, and in a few weeks, after passing the +examination, I should have returned to my happy mother, had not a +perverse Fate willed otherwise. + +This time a bit of linen was the instrument used to lead me into the path +allotted, for when the wound healed and the handkerchief which Clara's +mother had tied round it came back from the wash, I was uncertain whether +to return it in person or send it by a messenger with a few words of +thanks. I determined on the latter course; but when, that same evening, +I saw Clara looking so pretty as the youthful Richelieu, I cast aside my +first resolve, and the next day at dusk went to call on the mother of the +charming actress. I should scarcely have ventured to do so in broad +daylight, for Herr Ebeling, our zealous religious instructor, lived +directly opposite. + +The danger, however, merely gave the venture an added zest and, ere I was +aware of it I was standing in the large and pretty sitting-room occupied +by the mother and daughter. + +It was a disappointment not to meet the latter, yet I felt a certain +sense of relief. Fate intended to let me escape the storm uninjured, +for my heart had been by no means calm since I mounted the narrow stairs +leading to the apartments of the fair actress. But just as I was taking +leave the pavement echoed with the noise of hoofs and the rattle of +wheels. Prince Puckler's coupe stopped in front of the house and the +young girl descended the steps. + +She entered the room laughing merrily, but when she saw me she became +graver, and looked at her mother in surprise. + +A brief explanation, the cry, "Oh, you are the man who was hurt!" and +then the proof that the room did not owe its neat appearance to her, for +her cloak flew one way, her hat another, and her gloves a third. After +this disrobing she stood before me in the costume of the youthful +Richelieu, so bewitchingly charming, so gay and bright, that I could not +restrain my delight. + +She had come from old Prince Puckler, who, as he never visited the +theatre in the city, wished to see her in the costume whose beauty had +been so much praised. The vigorous, gay old gentleman had charmed her, +and she declared that she liked him far better than any of the young men. +But as she knew little of his former life and works, I told her of his +foolish pranks and chivalrous deeds. + +It seemed as if her presence increased my powers of description, and when +I at last took leave she exclaimed: "You'll come again, won't you? After +one has finished one's part, it's the best time to talk." + +Did I wait to be asked a second time? Oh, no! Even had I not been the +"foolhardy Ebers," I should have accepted her invitation. The very next +evening I was in the pleasant sitting-room, and whenever I could slip +away after supper I went to the girl, whom I loved more and more +ardently. Sometimes I repeated poems of my own, sometimes she recited +and acted passages from her best parts, amid continual jesting and +laughter. My visits seemed like so many delightful festivals, and +Clara's mother took care that they were not so long as to weary her +treasure. She often fell asleep while we were reading and talking, but +usually she sent me away before midnight with "There's another day coming +to-morrow." Long before my first visit to the young actress I had +arranged a way of getting into the house at any time, and Dr. Boltze +had no suspicion of my expeditions, since on my return I strove the +more zealously to fulfil all my school duties. + +This sounds scarcely credible, yet it is strictly true, for from a child +up to the present time I have always succeeded, spite of interruptions of +every kind, in devoting myself to the occupation in which I was engaged. +Loud noises in an adjoining room, or even tolerably severe physical pain, +will not prevent my working on as soon as the subject so masters me as to +throw the external world and my own body into the background. Only when +the suffering becomes very intense, the whole being must of necessity +yield to it. + +During the hours of the night which followed these evening visits I often +succeeded in working earnestly for two or three hours in preparation for +the examination. During my recitations, however, weariness asserted +itself, and even more strongly the new feeling which had obtained +complete mastery over me. Here I could not shake off the delightful +memories of these evenings because I did not strive to battle with them. + +I am not without talent for drawing, and even at that time it was +an easy matter to reproduce anything which had caught my eye, not only +distinctly, but sometimes attractively and with a certain degree of +fidelity to nature. So my note-book was filled with figures which amazed +me when I saw them afterwards, for my excited imagination had filled page +after page with a perfect Witch's Sabbath of compositions, in which the +oddest scrolls and throngs of genii blended with flowers, buds, and all +sorts of emblems of love twined around initial letters or the picture of +the person who had captured my heart at a time so inopportune. + +I owe the suggestion of some verses which were written at that time to +the memory of a dream. I was on the back of a swan, which bore me +through the air, and on another swan flying at my side sat Clara. Our +hands were clasped. It was delightful until I bent to kiss her; then the +swan I rode melted into mist, and I plunged headlong down, falling, +falling, until I woke. + +I had this dream on the Friday before the beginning of the week in which +the first examination was to take place; and it is worthy of mention, for +it was fulfilled. + +True, I needed no prophetic vision to inform me that this time of +happiness was drawing to a close. I had long known that the company was +to remove from Kottbus to Guben, but I hoped that the separation would be +followed by a speedy meeting. + +It was certainly fortunate that she was going, yet the parting was hard +to bear; for the evening hours I had spent with her in innocent mirth and +the interchange of all that was best in our hearts and minds were filled +with exquisite enjoyment. The fact that our intercourse was in a certain +sense forbidden fruit merely doubled its charm. + +How cautiously I had glided along in the shadows of the houses, how +anxiously I had watched the light in the minister's study opposite, when +I went home! + +True, he would have seen nothing wrong or even unseemly, save perhaps +the kiss which Clara gave me the last time she lighted me down stairs, +yet that would have been enough to shut me out of the examination. +Ah! yes, it was fortunate that she was going. + +March had come, the sun shone brightly, the air was as warm as in May, +and I had carried the mother and daughter some violets which I had +gathered myself. Suddenly I thought how delightful it would be to drive +with Clara in an open carriage through the spring beauty of the country. +The next day was Sunday. If I went with them and spent the night in +Guben I could reach home in time the next day. I need only tell Dr. +Boltze I was going to Komptendorf, and order the carriage, to transform +the dear girl's departure into a holiday. + +Again Fate interfered with the course of this story; for on my way to +school that sunny Saturday morning I met Clara's mother, and at sight +of her the wish merged into a resolve. I followed her into the shop she +entered and explained my plan. She thought it would be delightful, and +promised to wait for me at a certain place outside of the city. + +The plan was carried out. I found them at the appointed spot, my darling +as fresh as a rose. If love and joy had any substantial weight, the +horses would have found it a hard matter to drag the vehicle swiftly on. + +But at the first toll-house, while the toll-keeper was changing some +money, I experienced the envy of the gods which hitherto I had known +only in Schiller's ballad. A pedestrian passed--the teacher whom I had +offended by playing all sorts of pranks during his French lesson. Not +one of the others disliked me. + +He spoke to me, but I pretended not to understand, hastily took the +change from the toll-keeper, and, raising my hat, shouted, "Drive on!" + +This highly virtuous gentleman scorned the young actress, and as, on +account of my companions, he had not returned my greeting, Clara flashed +into comical wrath, which stifled in its germ my thought of leaving the +carriage and going on foot to Komptendorf, where Dr. Boltze believed me +to be. + +Clara rewarded my courageous persistence by special gaiety, and when we +had reached Guben, taken supper with some other members of the company, +and spent the evening in merriment, danger and all the ills which the +future might bring were forgotten. + +The next morning I breakfasted with Clara and her mother, and in bidding +them good-bye added "Till we meet again," for the way to Berlin was +through Guben, where the railroad began. + +The carriage which had brought us there took me back to Kottbus. Several +members of the company entered it and went part of the way, returning on +foot. When they left me twilight was gathering, but the happiness I had +just enjoyed shone radiantly around me, and I lived over for the second +time all the delights I had experienced. + +But the nearer I approached Kottbus the more frequently arose the +fear that the French teacher might make our meeting the cause of an +accusation. He had already complained of me for very trivial +delinquencies and would hardly let this pass. And yet he might. + +Was it a crime to drive with a young girl of stainless reputation under +her mother's oversight? No. I had done nothing wrong, except to say +that I was going to Komptendorf--and that offence concerned only Dr. +Boltze, to whom I had made the false statement. + +At last I fell asleep, until the wheels rattled on the pavement of the +city streets. Was my dream concerning the swan to be fulfilled? + +I entered the house early. Dr. Boltze was waiting for me, and his wife's +troubled face betrayed what had happened even more plainly than her +husband's frown. + +The French teacher had instantly informed my tutor where and with whom he +had met me, and urged him to ascertain whether I had really gone to +Komptendorf. Then he went to Clara's former residence, questioned the +landlady and her servant, and finally interrogated the livery-stable +keeper. + +The mass of evidence thus gathered proved that I had paid the actress +numerous visits, and always at dusk. My dream seemed fulfilled, but +after I had told Dr. Boltze and his wife the whole truth a quiet talk +followed. The former did not give up the cause as lost, though he did +not spare reproaches, while his wife's wrath was directed against the +informer rather than the offence committed by her favourite. + +After a restless night I went to Professor Tzschirner and told him +everything, without palliation or concealment. He censured my frivolity +and lack of consideration for my position in life, but every word, every +feature of his expressive face showed that he grieved for what had +happened, and would have gladly punished it leniently. In after years +he told me so. Promising to make every effort to save me from exclusion +from the examination in the conference which he was to call at the close +of the afternoon session, he dismissed me--and he kept his word. + +I know this, for I succeeded in hearing the discussion. The porter of +the gymnasium was the father of the boy whom my friend Lebenstein and I +kept to clean our boots, etc. He was a conscientious, incorruptible man, +but the peculiar circumstances of the case led him to yield to my +entreaties and admit me to a room next to the one where the conference +was held. I am grateful to him still, for it is due to this kindness +that I can think without resentment of those whose severity robbed me +of six months of my life. + +This conference taught me how warm a friend I possessed in Professor +Tzschirner, and showed that Professor Braune was kindly disposed. I +remember how my heart overflowed with gratitude when Professor Tzschirner +sketched my character, extolled my rescue of life at the Kubisch factory, +and eloquently urged them to remember their own youth and judge what had +happened impartially. I should have belied my nature had I not availed +myself of the chain of circumstances which brought me into association +with the actress to make the acquaintance of so charming a creature. + +To my joyful surprise Herr Ebeling agreed with him, and spoke so +pleasantly of me and of Clara, concerning whom he had inquired, that I +began to hope he was on my side. + +Unfortunately, the end of his speech destroyed all the prospects held +out in the beginning. + +Space forbids further description of the discussion. The majority, spite +of the passionate hostility of the informer, voted not to expel me, but +to exclude me from the examination this time, and advise me to leave the +school. If, however, I preferred to remain, I should be permitted to do +so. + +At the close of the session I was standing in the square in front of the +school when Professor Tzschirner approached, and I asked his permission +to leave school that very day. A smile of satisfaction flitted over his +manly, intellectual face, and he granted my request at once. + +So my Kottbus school-days ended, and, unfortunately, in a way unlike what +I had hoped. When I said farewell to Professor Tzschirner and his wife I +could not restrain my tears. His eyes, too, were dim, and he repeated to +me what I had already heard him say in the conference, and wrote the same +thing to my mother in a letter explaining my departure from the school. +The report which he sent with it contains not a single word to indicate +a compulsory withdrawal or the advice to leave it. + +When I had stopped at Guben and said goodbye to Clara my dream was +literally fulfilled. Our delightful intercourse had come to a sudden +end. Fortunately, I was the only sufferer, for to my great joy I heard +a few months after that she had made a successful debut at the Dresden +court theatre. + +I was, of course, less joyfully received in Berlin than usual, but the +letters from Professor Tzschirner and Frau Boltze put what had occurred +in the right light to my mother--nay, when she saw how I grieved over my +separation from the young girl whose charms still filled my heart and +mind, her displeasure was transformed into compassion. She also saw how +difficult it was for me to meet the friends and guardian who had expected +me to return as a graduate, and drew her darling, whom for the first time +she called her "poor boy," still closer to her heart. + +Then we consulted about the future, and it was decided that I should +graduate from the gymnasium of beautiful Quedlinburg. Professor +Schmidt's house was warmly recommended, and was chosen for my home. + +I set out for my new abode full of the best resolutions. But at +Magdeburg I saw in a show window a particularly tasteful bonnet trimmed +with lilies of the valley and moss-rose buds. The sight brought Clara's +face framed in it vividly be fore my eyes, and drew me into the shop. It +was a Paris pattern-hat and very expensive, but I spent the larger part +of my pocket-money in purchasing it and ordered it to be sent to the girl +whose image still filled my whole soul. Hitherto I had given her nothing +except a small locket and a great many flowers. + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +AT THE QUEDLINBURG GYMNASIUM + +The atmosphere of Quedlinburg was far different from that of the Mark +factory town of Kottbus. How fresh, how healthful, how stimulating to +industry and out-door exercise it was! + +Everything in the senior class was just as it should be. + +In Kottbus the pupils addressed each other formally. There were at the +utmost, I think, not more than half a dozen with whom I was on terms of +intimacy. In Quedlinburg a beautiful relation of comradeship united all +the members of the school. During study hours we were serious, but in +the intervals we were merry enough. + +Its head, Professor Richter, the learned editor of the fragments of +Sappho, did not equal Tzschirner in keenness of intellect and bewitching +powers of description, yet we gladly followed the worthy man's +interpretations. + +Many a leisure day and hour we spent in the beautiful Hartz Mountains. +But, best of all, was my home in Quedlinburg, the house of my tutor, +Professor Adalbert Schmidt, an admirable man of forty, who seemed +extremely gentle and yielding, but when necessary could be very +peremptory, and allowed those under his charge to make no trespass +on his authority. + +His wife was a model of amiable, almost timid womanliness. Her sister- +in-law, the widow of a magistrate, Frau Pauline Schmidt, shared the care +of the pupils and the beautiful, large garden; while her pretty, bright +young sons and daughters increased the charm of the intercourse. + +How pleasant were the evenings we spent in the family circle! We read, +talked, played, and Frau Pauline Schmidt was a ready listener when ever +I felt disposed to communicate to any one what I had written. + +Among my school friends were some who listened to my writings and showed +me their own essays. My favorite was Carl Hey, grandson of Wilhelm Hey, +who understood child nature so well, and wrote the pretty verses +accompanying the illustrations in the Speckter Fables, named for the +artist, a book still popular with little German boys and girls. I was +also warmly attached to the enthusiastic Hubotter, who, under the name of +"Otter," afterwards became the ornament of many of the larger German +theatres. Lindenbein, Brosin, the talented Gosrau, and the no less +gifted Schwalbe, were also dear friends. + +At first I had felt much older than my companions, and I really had seen +more of life; but I soon perceived that they were splendid, lovable +fellows. My wounded heart speedily healed, and the better my physical +and mental condition became the more my demon stirred within me. It was +no merit of mine if I was not dubbed "the foolhardy Ebers" here also. +The summer in Quedlinburg was a delightful season of mingled work and +pleasure. An Easter journey through the Hartz with some gay companions, +which included an ascent of the Brocken--already once climbed from +Keilhau--is among my most delightful memories. + +Like the Thuringian Mountains, the Hartz are also wreathed with a garland +of legends and historical memories. Some of its fairest blossoms are in +the immediate vicinity of Quedlinburg. These and the delight in nature +with which I here renewed my old bond tempted more than one of us to +write, and very different poems, deeper and with more true feeling, than +those produced in Kottbus. A poetic atmosphere from the Hercynian woods +and the monuments of ancient days surrounded our lives. It was +delightful to dream under the rustling beeches of the neighbouring +forest; and in the church with its ancient graves and the crypt of St. +Wiperti Cloister, the oldest specimen of Christian art in that region, +we were filled with reverence for the days of old. + +The life of the great Henry, which I had celebrated in verse at Kottbus, +became a reality to me here; and what a powerful influence a visit to the +ancient cloister exerted on our young souls! The nearest relatives of +mighty sovereigns had dwelt as abbesses within its walls. But two +generations ago Anna Amalie, the hapless sister of Frederick the Great, +died while holding this office. + +A strange and lasting impression was wrought upon me by a corpse and a +picture in this convent. Both were in a subterranean chamber which +possessed the property of preserving animal bodies from corruption. In +this room was the body of Countess Aurora von Konigsmark, famed as the +most beautiful woman of her time. After a youth spent in splendour she +had retired to the cloister as superior, and there she now lay unveiled, +rigid, and yellow, although every feature had retained the form it had in +death. Beside the body hung her portrait, taken at the time when a smile +on her lips, a glance from her eyes, was enough to fire the heart of the +coldest man. + +A terrible antithesis! + +Here the portrait of the blooming, beautiful husk of a soul exulting in +haughty arrogance; yonder that husk itself, transformed by the hand of +death into a rigid, colourless caricature, a mummy without embalming. + +Art, too, had a place in Quedlinburg. I still remember with pleasure +Steuerwald's beautiful winter landscapes, into which he so cleverly +introduced the mediaeval ruins of the Hartz region. + +Thus, Quedlinburg was well suited to arouse poetic feelings in young +hearts, steep the soul with love for the beautiful, time-honoured region, +and yet fill it with the desire to make distant lands its own. Every one +knows that this was Klopstock's birthplace; but the greatest geographer +of all ages, Karl Ritter, whose mighty mind grasped the whole universe as +if it were the precincts of his home, also first saw the light of the +world here. + +Gutsmuths, the founder of the gymnastic system, Bosse, the present +Minister of Public Worship and Instruction, and Julius Wolff, are +children of Quedlinburg and pupils of its gymnasium. + +The long vacation came between the written and verbal examinations, +and as I had learned privately that my work had been sufficiently +satisfactory, my mother gave me permission to go to the Black Forest, to +which pleasant memories attracted me. But my friend Hey had seen nothing +of the world, so I chose a goal more easily attained, and took him with +me to the Rhine. I went home by the way of Gottingen, and what I saw +there of the Saxonia corps filled me with such enthusiasm that I resolved +to wear the blue, white, and blue ribbon. + +The oral was also successfully examination passed, and I returned to my +mother, who received me at Hosterwitz with open arms. The resolve to +devote myself to the study of law and to commence in Gottingen was +formed, and received her approval. + +For what reason I preferred the legal profession it would be hard to say. +Neither mental bias nor interest gained by any searching examination of +the science to which I wished to devote myself, turned the scale. I +actually gave less thought to my profession and my whole mental and +external life than I should have bestowed upon the choice of a residence. + +In the ideal school, as I imagine it, the pupils of the senior class +should be briefly made acquainted with what each one of the principal +professions offers and requires from its members. The principal of the +institution should also aid by his counsel the choice of the young men +with whose talents and tastes long intercourse had rendered him familiar. + + [It should never contain more than seventy pupils. Barop, when I + met him after I attained my maturity, named sixty as the largest + number which permitted the teacher to know and treat individually + the boys confided to his care. He would never receive more at + Keilhau.] + +Of course I imagine this man not only a teacher but an educator, familiar +not alone with the school exercises, but with the mental and physical +characteristics of those who are to graduate from the university. + +Had not the heads of the Keilhau Institute lost their pupils so young, +they would undoubtedly have succeeded in guiding the majority to the +right profession. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Coach moved by electricity +Do thoroughly whatever they do at all +I approve of such foolhardiness +Life is the fairest fairy tale (Anderson) +Loved himself too much to give his whole affection to any one +Scorned the censure of the people, he never lost sight of it +What father does not find something to admire in his child + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STORY OF MY LIFE, BY EBERS, V5 *** + +********** This file should be named 5597.txt or 5597.zip ********* + +This eBook was produced by David Widger + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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