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diff --git a/old/55007-0.txt b/old/55007-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 22f27dc..0000000 --- a/old/55007-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1500 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 no. -21, September 11, 1858, by Stephen H. Branch - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 no. 21, September 11, 1858 - -Author: Stephen H. Branch - -Release Date: June 30, 2017 [EBook #55007] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, SEPT 11, 1858 *** - - - - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - Transcriber Notes - - Obvious printer errors, typos and missing punctuation fixed. Archaic - and inconsistent spelling, and inconsistent hyphenation retained. - A couple of pointing hand characters in the text have been replicated - using the “White right pointing index” Unicode character (U+261E). If - the device font does not support this character, ☞, it may not - display correctly. - The table of contents has been created and added by the transcriber. - Italics are represented by underscores surrounding the _italic text_. - Small capitals have been converted to ALL CAPS. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - What Peter Said. 1 - A New Scheme. 1 - Puttyman turned Merriman. 1 - How to Shed a Ray of Light. 1 - Out with Them. 2 - The Tail of the Cable. 2 - The Paupers at the Town Table. 2 - Fish and Fowl. 3 - Cable Jollification. 3 - A Great Chance for Peter. 3 - A Wonderful Invention. 3 - _TO THE EDITOR OF THE ALLIGATOR._ 3 - The Genuine Cable. 4 - Advertisements 4 - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - -[Illustration: STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S ALLIGATOR.] - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - Volume I.—No. 21. SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1858. Price 2 Cents. - - - - - What Peter Said. - - -The great Cable celebration at the Crystal Palace was apparently a cut -and dried affair, for the few speeches transmitted to us by the press -were not only written, but printed in advance of delivery—a comfortable -method of reporting, very satisfactory, but not quite literal, as well -as undignified in the orator of the day reading off his speech, -schoolboy-like from the crown of his hat. Peter had his say, and a very -funny say it was, so much so that we are inclined to believe that -Archbishop John, while “stuffing” at Long Branch, intentionally quizzed -that venerable duck. Peter, when it came to his say, was chuck full of -electricity; he sparkled and snapped like an aurora borealis; he was -better charged than the cable, and his eloquence went off with a series -of flashes like the detonations of a Leyden jar. He told us “his labors -which required the indomitable courage, the far-seeing and electrifying -mind of Cyrus W. Field to inspire and stimulate.” Cyrus then is the -electrical eel of this new era, and should be carefully preserved within -non-conductors from fear of shocking accidents. Then Peter got poetical, -and travels in the great garden of the world within and the world -without, and clothes a man there with power. This great garden could not -be that of Eden, for there nobody went clothed with anything. And then -Peter got surgical, and goes into midwifery, calling the cable “the -umbilical cord that binds the mother continent to the child.” Then Peter -grew prophetical, and tells us what electricity will do some day or the -other. And then Peter got enigmatical, and didn’t know what he did say, -and then he said that language failed him, and upon this giving out he -sat down and looked profound at everybody and everything for the -remainder of the exercises, bestowing on the audience an occasional -yawn. - - - - - A New Scheme. - - -So the repairs to the City Hall are to be made by the jobbing system. -The contract system, money-making as it is, is too liable to be exposed -to the inspection and judgment of the people, but a large job that is -split up into a dozen or more little ones and given out to as many -individuals, pays better, and can be more secretly conducted; therefore -this job which might be done reasonably low by a contractor, is to be -_highly jobbed_ out piecemeal. Verily, we live in a great age, have -great city fathers, an illustrious Mayor and plenty of paint and putty. - - - - - Puttyman turned Merriman. - - -The anecdotes of great man are the treasures of local history, and are -generally presumed to lend some light upon the trivialities of State -life. Daniel F. Tiemann is reported to have remarked, in a serious -manner it must be observed, for Daniel is thought to be a teetotaller, -and rarely dons the motley, that when the Lord Mayor of London hears of -our celebration and burning of the City Hall, he would return the -compliment by setting fire to the Mansion House. There can be no doubt -that this charitable ebullition of ettiquette will be accomplished, and -were it not for the extreme modesty of the worshipful Tiemann, there is -little doubt but that his Lordship would be induced to re-enact the part -of Guy Fawkes, and throw in the two houses of Parliament by way of a -superior pyrotechnical display. The thanks of the British public are -unquestionably due Puttyman for his moderation, for were he to will it, -the Atlantic Cable might require the immolation of Gog and Magog, and, -peradventure, the importation of the Bow Bells. But Puttyman says he was -only joking, and in alluding to the Metropolitan edifice, intended -merely to call forth a sally of wit instead of a blaze of pure genuine -flame. - -The first appearance of Mr. Puttyman in his new character of Merriman, -is highly creditable to a new beginner, and we have little doubt that -after a suitable intellectual training by Mr. Gossin, and a few stray -tricks from Signor Carlo, he will be able to perform a creditable -engagement with Dan Rice. Indeed, we do not know but with the aid of -lamp-black and a dictionary, he might be converted into an excellent -Brother Bones, if not a joker in all the spirit of Tom Brown, and the -quaintness of the late inveterate Horn. When other occupations are gone. -Mr. Puttyman, from this specimen of jocularity, is entitled to a front -seat in the saw dust. - - -EUREKA.—There having been great inquiry made as to whom the statue in -the City Hall Park represents, we are happy to inform the inquisitive -that we learn by a dispatch sent us by the Atlantic Telegraph, that it -is the _fac simile_ of the great Puttyman. - - -A GREATER UNION THAN THE TELEGRAPH.—The political junction between Peter -Cooper and Tiemann. The cable can’t stand comparison with the cement of -putty and glue. - - - - - How to Shed a Ray of Light. - - -At the Cable demonstration on the 1st, Aldermanic politeness showed -itself in its true colors by the virtual expulsion of reporters from the -Crystal Palace. Immediately previously to the commencement of the -exercises, Mr. Lowber, a protege of the reformer’s, whose name may be -remembered in connection with a claim against the city, ordered the -removal of the tables and benches allowed to the press. Alderman Thomas -McSpedon, whose name will become famous to the press before the whole of -the documents in the Hall of Records are printed, forthwith directed the -removal of the pressgang, which, like the Joseph Walker, was held by Mr. -Lowber to be a nuisance. This summary proceeding was characteristic of -aldermanic wisdom, by forgetting that while the wide world was -interested in the cable, our astute gentleman imagined that he had it -safely coiled in his breeches pocket. Luckily all the addresses, which -had the sanction of the Common Council, were in print for a few days -before their delivery, and that portion of our municipal greatness has -escaped certain loss. Unfortunately there are two sides to a question as -well as an address, and as the British recipients of the addresses, as -well as the Captain of the Niagara, were not up to the mysteries of the -Tea-Room, their replies are forever lost. We have doubtless lost the -wheat and secured the chaff. - - -STRANGE, IF TRUE.—We read in the _Herald_ the other day, that, in the -opinion of that oracle, the successful laying of the Trans-atlantic -Cable would change the whole moral aspect of human affairs—the _Herald_ -included. Now we must confess we do belong to that class of persons -which believe that physical agency and morals are intimately allied, and -that the great achievement of submerging the cable will produce more or -less a moral effect. Still we are doubtful of the _Herald_. We are -equally doubtful whether the successful laying of two cables and a half -dozen other scientific victories much greater than anything that has yet -transpired, could produce an improvement in the moral character of the -_Herald_. Bennett is too great and too hardened a sinner. Still we have -heard of repentance at the eleventh hour. - - -A GOOD IDEA.—Our devil suggests that the great Puttyman would do well to -hire Jobson to edit the _Satanic_. This might be beneficial to Puttyman, -but we doubt whether Mr. Jobson would consent to lend his brain in such -a filthy channel. The great French historian can do better. - - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - THE ALLIGATOR. - - ------------------------------------------------------ - - New York, Saturday, September 11, 1858. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Out with Them. - - -Our people have by this time purchased the significant lesson that it is -impossible to create an elective judiciary, worthy of esteem and capable -of discharging the onerous functions committed to their custody. The -learned Sancho Panza observed, with respect to the impossibility of -creating silk purses out of sows’ ears. We can do likewise as to the -utter inability of manufacturing judges, worthy of the ermine, from raw -material, such as Mr. Recorder Barnard and City Judge Russell, neither -of whom would be selected to decide upon the merits of a cock fight, -much less to determine the rights of personal liberty. Is the evil to be -longer endured, to be incessantly repeated, or are the people to take -the matter in their own hands that we may divest ourselves from the -burdens which Sinbad-like we are compelled to bear on our shoulders? - -We have thoroughly tested the question of an elective judiciary, both -theoretically and practically, and we have arrived at one -conclusion—that we obtain politicians instead of judges, and thereby -jeopardize the very foundation of our national liberties. We have done -more, and openly pandered to the lowest vice in suffering the right of -ballot to be prostituted in order that the most unworthy of men may -creep into the judiciary. We have emptied the tap-rooms and bar-rooms of -their tenants, and have thus sullied the dignity of the ermine. We have -also done everything in our power to neutralize the benevolent -intentions of our republican institutions, by corrupting the only -safeguard for their perpetuation. And this series of calamities is -chiefly attributable to the introduction of the political manœvre of -rendering the judiciary elective, and thus we have sacrificed the wisdom -of our revolutionary ancestors. - -A few years ago, when the judiciary were appointed by the State Senate, -and served until physical infirmities limited the term, the New York -Bench were unrivalled for learning, courtesy and literary acquirements. -Our criminal judges were particularly distinguished, and the name of -Richard Riker, for many years Recorder of New York, will be remembered -as that of a worthy and respected magistrate. Whence have we receded to -secure Russells and Barnards? Nay, we have even gone to the length of -creating offices which are perfectly useless, and filled them with idle -incumbents. Will any man say that the City Court exists as a matter of -necesity, or that the duties of the officers do not belong to other -authorities? If not, why not erect a court-room and not compel its -presiding dignitary to lounge a hanger-on the Court of Sessions. -Probably it is better for the common weal, and more in accordance with -Mr. Russell’s antecedents, that he be suffered to continue in this way -of life, in which the extent of mischief may be kept within limit. In -the approaching constitutional convention, the question of an elective -judiciary will be fairly at issue, and it is one duty that we owe to -ourselves to re-organize the magistracy, that its ancient character for -integrity and truth may be revived and perpetuated. This work of -purification will probably be strenuously opposed by those of our -politicians, who are dependent to the gangs of shoulder hitters, and -brothel pimps, now infecting our city and rendering the elective -franchise a political caricature. If we suffer this opportunity to -escape us, we are unworthy the character of freemen, and deservedly the -cellars of a judiciary, as incompent as it is useless, and as useless as -it is expensive. - - - - - The Tail of the Cable. - - -We have had our gay old time; our citizens have had fireworks, and -crackers, and cheese; our boys have had a turn-out, and our country -cousins have had a most stunning display of municipal greatness,—in a -word, we have glorified God, the Atlantic Cable, and the Field family. -This is all very well in its way; but when we come to pay for the -piping, we naturally inquire the reason for all this fuss and -commotion—for the only thing which appears to be quiet is the cable -itself, which neither works nor gives evidence of any inclination -towards labor. Now that we have had the fun, let us pay for it. - -The people of England, who own the Telegraph, each end being limited to -British soil, and the whole line under control of British capitalists, -seem to have rejoiced over the success of the great event of the age in -a most rational and sensible manner, while we have apparently gone mad -with joy over an affair which, in nowise, can be construed into a -national subject. Degrading as it may be to our personal pride, Peter -Cooper, the Field family, and Archbishop John, to the contrary -notwithstanding, the Atlantic Telegraph is essentially an English -triumph; and in expending a large sum of money in an ebullition of -passing insanity, our citizens have only rendered themselves subjects -for merriment. Who will deny that, although the project of an Atlantic -Telegraph was first broached on this side of the Atlantic, almost the -entire credit of its success has been committed to British hands. The -money was raised in England, and three out of four vessels, engaged in -the enterprize, bore the British flag. And now have we any just excuse -to run mad with joy, and to add some fifty thousand additional taxes to -our already over-taxed community? - -The very character of the procession which went through our streets was -a polite satire upon the occasion, as it can mainly be regarded as an -illegal method of advertising one’s wares, which, if persisted in, would -prove ruinous to the Sunday papers. We had cracker bakers, alcohol -dealers, gas stoves, and all that sort of thing, from the beginning to -the end of the chapter; and one, unacquainted with the nature of -municipal rejoicing, would conceive the demonstration to have been the -American Institute house-moving on the first of May. And now that the -reign of folly has past, and the festivity of the occasion wasted into -air, a second, sober thought suggests to us that we have been -manufacturing a very large quantity of excitement upon a very small -capital; and the more serious this consideration will become as the -moment of payment presses on us. We have no right to squander public -moneys, no more than that of embezzling from private persons; still we -are well aware that a different standard of morality governs the actions -of officials from those of the same beings in a mercantile character. -Now that we have reached the tail of the cable excitement, let us -propound a simple query: What have we gained by all this frenzy beyond -the glorification of one or two individuals, who have suddenly -discovered themselves to be great? We have foolishly spent a large sum -of money—we have made an exhibition of ourselves, and have no equivalent -to show in exchange for our funds and our honor. By the tail of the -cable hangs a curious tale indeed. - - ------------------------------------ - - -TOO TRUE BY HALF.—One of our City Fathers, upon being solicited for a -ticket to the Cable Dinner on the 2d of September, refused, giving as a -reason that he could not venture to invite any of his friends, from fear -of introducing improper characters. - - - - - The Paupers at the Town Table. - - -If any man hangs around a public house, dependent upon the charity of -visitors for a drink, even if it be absolutely necessary to his health, -he is commonly honored with the epithet of a “bummer;” but when a highly -distinguished politician or other man, too indolent to do his own work -and subsisting from the public till, hangs around the City Hall, -awaiting the chances at the public table, we fail to recognize the -similarity of his condition with the dry and athirst of the common -tap-room. Now we are blind enough not to see the distinction between -these two classes of worthies, and we are stupid enough to enumerate -both as under the same category. It matters little to us whether the -guzzler at the Metropolitan feeds at the public expense, or Brown at the -Pewter Mug drinks from the involuntary contributions of Jones or any -other private individual. In both instances the principle is the same, -and a man who dines at the public expense, even if it be in the name of -Cyrus W. Field, is as much of a sucker as the lounger who insists upon -participating with you in a smile. They are both paupers, and should be -deservedly esteemed as such by an intelligent community. There is -nothing like calling things by their proper names, although they may be -distasteful to our so-called Reformers. - -It is exceedingly strange that any body of men, pretending to advocate -retrenchment in our finances, will so barefacedly and undisguisedly -seize upon a large sum of money belonging, as they honorably admit, to a -most over-taxed municipality, and squander it for the least profitable -of animal passions. Three thousand dollars could be better expended in a -monument or other testimonial of our Cable joy, than to be guzzled down -by a bevy of hungry hounds, who would have claimed boon-companionship -with Judas Iscariot to get an invitation to the Last Supper. If it be -necessary to express our joy, why not do it in a rational manner, like -men gifted with reason, and not guzzle and swill like beasts of the -field? Still the invincible selfishness of our Aldermen demanded an -Aldermanic banquet, whence a majority of our officials will in all -probability be carried home on a shutter, if they do not succeed in -procuring accommodations at the public expense in the Fifteenth Ward -Station. Where better to end the bacchanalian revel? We had believed -that, when the iniquity of the tea-room was suppressed, and the bevy of -loafers who were wont to breakfast, dine and sup from the free lunch of -our Municipal tea-room, the whole fabrick of guzzling would be cast -down, so that every intelligent and reputable man would conceive it a -species of larceny to dine at the expense of the poverty-stricken -tax-payers. But that which is bred in the bone cannot come out from the -skin, and this habit of dining is too deeply seated to be eradicated -from these veterans at the public table. It would be a curious study for -a statician to compute the amount of groceries, wet and dry, consumed by -some of these well fed officials, and, when published, would afford a -very instructive lesson in municipal economy. We will venture to say -that Simeon Draper alone, in the course of his public services, has -deemed it a part of his duty to consume edibles and drinkables to the -extent at least of three thousand dollars. Here, then, is a question for -disputation at the Institute that, if the official keep of one man costs -such a sum, how much would it cost to support an army. - - ------------------------------------ - - -☞ God made man, and he rested; then he made woman and rested; then he -invented the Beecher family and rested again, and then he created the -Field family; and there, let us hope, we come to a full stop. - - - - - Fish and Fowl. - - -Notwithstanding the heavy demonstrations of the Common Council, by word -of mouth and by strength of lung in favor of the Atlantic Cable, it -seems that the reception of the crew of the Niagara was entirely -overlooked by these distinguished characters, who, in their ovations to -Mr. Cyrus W. Field, and such like magnates, ignored the existence of -such a poor set of individuals as the absolute toilers, who live by the -sweat of their brow. To make up for this deficiency in courtesy, a few -gentlemen invited and gave a species of demonstration, wherein they -expected to realize something digestible for the poor Jacks of our navy, -who, in an humble way at least, contributed to the success of the great -event. Well, these gentlemen in hiring a room wherein the -speechification could be made, naturally stumbled upon the great Peter -Cooper Institute, first from the connection Peter had with the tail end -of the cable, and, secondly, from the fact that they labored under the -impression that the building had been given to our municipality for the -encouragement of arts and sciences, and, assuredly, what could be more -encouraging to science than a hearty meal after scientific labor? - -The committee waited upon the proprietor of the Institute and discovered -the nightly rent for the use of the hall of the building, so -magnanimously donated to the city, to be $100. However, the breasts of -landlords are not always of stone, and the illustrious Peter, taking -into consideration the object and the occasion, kindly consented to -receive from the friends of poor Jack but one-half the usual price for -the loan of a building, vulgarly conceived to be public property. Now -who dares to assert that Peter, the great and liberal minded Peter -Cooper, never does things by halves? - - ------------------------------------ - - - - - Cable Jollification. - - -Cyrus, the great, has been out on a fishing excursion; he has fished -with a long line, a keen hook, fine bait, and in deep water—caught a -fine kettle of fish and many shiners, over which the Cooper guild and -corporation feel disposed to make themselves jolly. This may all be very -well, but to us it looks very much like using an opportunity to make a -display and have a good time generally to glorify somebody at the -expense of the people. - -With respect to the merits of this cable, Franklin bottled lightning, -Morse discovered the telegraph principle, Maury the telegraph plateau, -and Cyrus, with the assistance of Brooks, put the two together, for -commercial purposes, for which Cyrus is to be glorified forever, while -Franklin, Morse and Maury are forgotten. The whole cost of the cable -celebration, to the city, will not fall much short of $150,000. Cold -winter will soon be here, and thousands cold and hungry, without the -means to supply themselves with food and fuel; and we venture to say not -$500 could be raised from the corporation outside the usual -appropriations, to keep them from starvation or freezing. All this is -the result of a nice little arrangement by the city fathers, who are -mighty fond of guzzling at the public crib whenever an excuse can be -manufactured. This cable laying furnishes a good one, but the cable is -laid, so let “God be praised,” but not until Cyrus has had his share. - - ------------------------------------ - - -OVERDONE.—It is now understood that the persecutors of Mr. Branch have -separated from co-partnership with Recorder Barnard, whom they charge -with having overdone matters. It is a pity, but Mr. Barnard will learn -that he cannot serve both God and man at the same time. - - - - - A Great Chance for Peter. - - -Now that we are going to have a new story on the City Hall, would it not -be an excellent opportunity to try the highly ingenious scheme of the -venerable Peter Cooper, of converting the new portion of that public -edifice into a water-tank? What a refreshing idea in the dog-days! - -If Peter had only studied political economy as deeply as he has -hydraulics, he might have improved his scheme of fire-extinguishing and -rendered it at least self-paying, if not a source of revenue. During the -summer months, this artificial pond could be rendered an excellent -bathing-school, where, beneath the supervision of some of the unoccupied -police, small boys could be allowed, at a shilling a head, to indulge in -a hydropathic luxury of a dive and come up again. Beyond this, during -the winter, the pond being subject, we suppose, to the ordinary -afflictions of a cold, might be advantageously employed for the healthy -relaxation of skating, during which performance the venerable Peter may -patronize the public by an exhibition of his highly respected person, -after the manner of his great predecessor, Wonter Von Twiller. By this -ingenious arrangement the great water-tank of the great Peter may be -rendered as great an institution in a sanatory point of view, as his -Institute is to the intellectual world of our Atlantic Metropolis. Peter -should be a water-cure doctor. - - ------------------------------------ - - - - - A Wonderful Invention. - - -Much has been said about the Albany Regency, whose lawgivers are Thurlow -Weed, Seward & Co., but they cannot compare with our great Puttyman, -Cooper, Draper & Co. For cunning reforms, soft soap and putty they have -no competitors. While the former has dined on politicians, the latter -has luxuriated on live alligators—of the short and long branch -species—until they are looking fat and greasy. We advise Weed and Seward -to look well to their pickets and walls at Syracuse on the 8th of -September, or our great city reformers will not leave them an atom of -power or greatness. Let Weed remember that these great lights of -Metropolitan glory, have a _peculiar_ way of doing business, unknown to -the scientific of the present day. The invention is said to be despotic -and arbitrary in its sway over the masses, but this can hardly be, for -our Metropolitans are clear-sighted people and would certainly have made -the discovery if such was the case; hence their popularity must -originate from the true greatness of their invention and the entire -approval and encomiums of the Press during the last three or four weeks. -It is seldom that any new invention confers honor, fame and fortune upon -the inventor, but this “Branch Incarceration” invention is a new era in -science, law and philosophy. The inventors are deserving of a monument -to perpetuate their memories to future posterity. Oh, great Puttyman, -little did you think, when superintending your humble paint manufactory, -that you would ever be connected in such a great discovery. How great, -how powerful is genius—God-like. Praise God, Puttyman, that you and your -fellow-inventors are not like other men. - - -CITY HALL BELL.—This loud, cracked-toned sentinel, having become ashamed -of the corruption in and round the City Hall, has left the top of that -institution and located itself outside on a wooden tower. - - -CENTRAL PARK.—Supposed to be completed about the year 1880—judging by -the last two years’ progress. Cost, impossible to estimate. - - - - - _TO THE EDITOR OF THE ALLIGATOR._ - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - NEW YORK. August 23, 1858. - -SIR:—Hitherto I have refrained from addressing communications to the -newspapers upon _any_ subject of interest to the community, feeling -better satisfied in reading the comments of persons other than myself. -The course of the prosecution towards the unfortunate Mr. Branch leads -me, for the first time, to speak to the public through the columns of a -public journal, and suggests to me a number of ideas which, I think, -bear upon the subject. I am not a personal friend of Mr. Branch, never -having had half a dozen words of conversation with him. I look upon the -prosecution (or, more properly speaking, the persecution) of Mr. Branch -as a wholesale violation of the rights and privileges of the citizens of -New York, and a violent outrage upon the spirit and tenor of our laws. -For the first time in the history of our criminal jurisprudence, we find -a man charged with the commission of an offence against our laws, -arrested, indicted, tried, convicted, sentenced, and placed in the -vilest servitude, all within the space of two short weeks. In this -extraordinary trial we see, and painfully too, the establishment of a -precedent to take away our rights and subject our persons and property -to the ruthless grasp of an interested prosecution. ’Tis true that the -prosecutors in the case of Mr. Branch were _wealthy and in positions of -influence, and it was therefore to be expected that justice should lean -toward them_, to the taking away of the rights of a citizen who could -not boast of _wealth_. I assert, and without fear of truthful -contradiction, that two-thirds of our community to-day sympathize with -Mr. Branch, and look upon the course of the prosecution as a gross -violation of their own individual rights, and such a violation as loudly -calls for the indignation of the people; and it is indeed pleasant to -reflect, that to-day the persecutors of Mr. Branch are entitled to, and -willingly receive, the supreme contempt and unmitigated scorn of every -lover of justice; and I tell you, sir, _that_ scorn and contempt will -manifest itself at the ballot-box to such a degree, that _certain -persons_ will wither beneath the loud condemnation of the honest -citizen; and the time will come when justice shall not be thwarted by -the mere wink of two or three _self-interested_ individuals, who cannot -boast of any _particular merit_. I take the position, that whether Mr. -Branch be guilty or _not_ guilty, the trial was unfair and the sentence -unjust; and no evidence appears to my mind causing me to doubt but that -Mr. Branch’s assertions were correct. Would it not have been much -better, in order to the proper vindication of the character of the -person against whom the charges were made by Mr. Branch, that all the -circumstances connected with the affair should have been brought to -light by an even-handed, above-board trial? Then, if the charges were -false, the prosecution would have established their honor and integrity -in a manner which would have satisfied the community, and not led them -to look, as they now do, with suspicion. Beyond all this, Mr. Branch was -denied the right of a preliminary examination; thus showing that the -first step taken by the prosecution was illegal and unjust. These facts, -when presented to the mind of an enlightened public, present such -formidable proof of the injustice practised towards Mr. Branch, that it -is impossible to arrive at any other conclusion than that Mr. Branch has -been more sinned against than sinning. In conclusion I shall say, that, -from what I have discovered of public opinion, it is high time that -something should be done to rid ourselves of the present administration, -and to put in office men who can be relied upon; believing as they do -that Mr. Branch has been the victim of political persecution. - -Let us hope that the time will soon come when the rights of the -community will be preserved, and their persons and property protected by -an enlightened, intelligent and honorable judiciary. - - VAN. - - - - - The Genuine Cable. - - -No single enterprise better illustrates the go-ahead-ativeness of -Americans than the purchase by Messrs. Tiffany & Co., the Broadway -jewellers, of the entire surplus of the Atlantic Telegraph Cable, left -on board the Niagara. They have no possible use for it, beyond the -selling of pieces as specimens to be preserved as curiosities; and yet, -on this speculation they have advanced some $30,000 or $40,000 hard -cash. In some cities, and some countries they would inevitably find -themselves “stuck,” as the newsboys say; but here, they will, assuredly -and deservedly, reap a rich reward. They are selling the pieces, plain -and mounted with _fac simile_ certificates by Mr. Field, at all prices, -from 50 cents upwards, about as fast as they can cut them off.—_Sun._ - -Now, of what real utility is a piece of this supposed cable? None -whatever. We strongly suspect hundreds of mechanics are employed daily -in manufacturing a _fac simile_ of the Atlantic Cable, and doubtless -will continue to be so employed as long as a purchaser for a piece of -“that Cable” can be found. For gullibility, New Yorkers are certainly -the _greenest_ of the human species. Still, perhaps, an imitation of -“that Cable” will answer every purpose, and enrich the retailer at the -expense of the credulous. We intend to get a monster “cable” -manufactured, “to order,” to cable up our _Alligator_ o’nights. - - -A showman giving dramatic entertainments in Lafayette, Ind., was called -upon by Terrell, of the _Journal_, who tendered a bushel of corn for -admission. The manager refused to accept of it, telling Terrell that all -the members of his company had been corned for the past six weeks. Our -city fathers have been _sham_paigned and _cabled_ for the last two -weeks. - - -Our devil thinks it a national loss that the Limekiln man did not live -long enough to be elected Mayor. No doubt of it—lime is more substantial -than paint. - - -Wonder if the great Putty-man has ever paid Bennett that little bill for -paint advertising? We suppose so, as Bennett is now using plenty of -_varnish_ of the putty calibre. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - Advertisements—25 Cents a line. - - -Credit.—From two to four seconds, or as long as the Advertiser can hold -his breath! Letters and Advertisements to be left at No. 114 -Nassau-street, second story, front room. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -COREY AND SON, MERCHANT’S EXCHANGE, WALL street, New York, Notaries -Public and Commissioners—United States Passports Issued in 36 -hours.—Bills of Exchange, Drafts, and Notes protested,—Marine protests -noted and extended. - - EDWIN F. COREY, - EDWIN F. COREY. JR. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -HERRING’S PATENT CHAMPION FIRE AND BURGLAR Proof Safe, with Hall’s -Patent Powder Proof Locks, afford the greatest security of any Safe in -the world. Also, Sideboard and Parlor Safes, of elegant workmanship and -finish, for plate, &c. - - S. C. HERRING & CO., - 251 Broadway. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -J. VAN TINE, SHANGAE RESTAURANT, No. 2 DEY street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -S. & J. W. BARKER, GENERAL AUCTIONEERS & REAL ESTATE BROKERS. Loans -negotiated, Houses and Stores Rented, Stocks and Bonds Sold at Auction -or Private Sale. - -Also, FURNITURE SALES attended to at private houses. Office, 14 Pine -street, under Commonwealth Bank. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -CARLTON HOUSE, 496 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. Bates and Holden, Proprietors. - - THEOPHILUS BATES. - OREL J. HOLDEN. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -GERARD BETTS & CO., AUCTION AND COMMISSION Merchants, No. 106, Wall -street, corner of Front street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -SAMUEL SNEDEN, SHIP & STEAMBOAT BUILDER.—My Office is at No. 31 Corlears -street, New York; and my yards and residence are at Greenpoint. I have -built Ships and Steamers for every portion of the Globe, for a long term -of years, and continue to do so on reasonable terms. - - SAMUEL SNEDEN. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FULLMER AND WOOD, CARRIAGE MANUFACTURERS, No. 239 West Nineteenth -street, New York. - -Horse-shoeing done with dispatch, and in the most scientific manner, and -on reasonable terms. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - FALL ELECTION. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - STATE OF NEW-YORK, } - OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OF STATE, } - ALBANY, August 2, 1858. } - -_To the Sheriff of the County of New York_: - -SIR—NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN, THAT AT THE GENERAL Election to be held in -this State on the Tuesday succeeding the first Monday in November next, -the following officers are to be elected, to wit: - -A GOVERNOR, in the place of John A. King; - -A LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR, in the place of Henry R. Selden; - -A CANAL COMMISSIONER, in the place of Samuel B. Ruggles, appointed in -place of Samuel S. Whallon, deceased; - -AN INSPECTOR OF STATE PRISONS, in the place of William A. Russell; - -All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December next. - -A REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United States, for -the Third Congressional District, composed of the First, Second, Third, -Fifth and Eighth Wards in the city of New York; - -A REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United States, for -the Fourth Congressional District, composed of the Fourth, Sixth, Tenth -and Fourteenth Wards in the city of New York; - -A REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United States, for -the Fifth Congressional District, composed of the Seventh and Thirteenth -Wards of the city of New York, and the Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth -and Sixteenth Wards of Brooklyn; - -A REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United States, for -the Sixth Congressional District, composed of the Eleventh, Fifteenth -and Seventeenth Wards in the City of New York; - -A REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United States, for -the Seventh Congressional District, composed of the Ninth, Sixteenth, -and Twentieth Wards in the City of New York; - -And also, a REPRESENTATIVE in the Thirty-sixth Congress of the United -States for the Eighth Congressional District, composed of the Twelfth, -Eighteenth, Nineteenth, Twenty-first, and Twenty-second Wards in the -City of New York. - - - COUNTY OFFICERS ALSO TO BE ELECTED FOR SAID COUNTY. - -SEVENTEEN MEMBERS OF ASSEMBLY; - -A SHERIFF, in the place of James C. Willett; - -A COUNTY CLERK, in the place of Richard B. Connolly; - -FOUR CORONERS, in the place of Frederick W. Perry, Edward Connery, -Robert Gamble and Samuel C. Hills; - -All whose terms of office will expire on the last day of December next. - -The attention of Inspectors of Election and County Canvassers is -directed to Chapter 320 of Laws of 1858, a copy of which is printed, for -instructions in regard to their duties under said law, “submitting the -question of calling a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend -the same to the people of the State.” - - - CHAP. 320. - -AN ACT to submit the question of calling a Convention to revise the - Constitution and amend the same, to the People of the State: - -Passed April 17, 1858—three-fifths being present. - -_The People of the State of New York, represented in Senate and - Assembly, do enact as follows_: - -SECTION 1. The Inspectors of Election in each town, ward, and election -district in this State, at the annual election to be held in November -next, shall provide a proper box to receive the ballots of the citizens -of this State entitled to vote for members of the Legislature at such -election. On such ballot shall be written or printed, or partly written -and printed, by those voters who are in favor of a Convention, the -words: “Shall there be a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend -the same? Yes.” And by those voters who are opposed thereto, the words: -“Shall there be a Convention to Revise the Constitution and amend the -same? No.” And all citizens entitled to vote as aforesaid shall be -allowed to vote by ballot as aforesaid, in the election district in -which he resides, and not elsewhere. - -§2. So much of the articles one, two and three, of title four, of -chapter one hundred and thirty, of an act entitled “An act respecting -elections other than for militia and town officer,” passed April fifth, -eighteen hundred and forty-two, and the acts amending the same, as -regulates the manner of conducting elections and challenges, oaths to be -administered, and inquiries to be made, of persons offering to vote, -shall be deemed applicable to the votes to e given or offered under the -act; and the manner of voting and challenges, and the penalties for -false swearing, prescribed by law, are hereby declared in full force and -effect in voting or offering to vote under this act. - -§3. The said votes given for and against a convention, in pursuance of -this act, shall be canvassed by the Inspectors of the several election -districts or polls of the said election in the manner prescribed by law, -and as provided in article four, of title four, of chapter one hundred -and thirty of the said act, passed April fifth, eighteen hundred and -forty-two, and the acts amending the same, as far as the same are -applicable; and such canvass shall be completed by ascertaining the -whole number of votes given in each election district or poll for a -convention, and the whole number of votes given against such convention, -in the form aforesaid; and the result being found, the inspectors shall -make a statement in words, at full length, of the number of ballots -received in relation to such convention, and shall also state in words, -at full length, the whole number of ballots having thereon the words, -“Shall there be a Convention to revise the Constitution and amend the -same? No.” Such statements as aforesaid shall contain a caption, stating -the day on which, and the number of the district, the town or ward, and -the county at which the election was held, and at the end thereof a -certificate that such statement is correct in all respects, which -certificate shall be subscribed by all the inspectors, and a true copy -of such statement shall be immediately filed by them in the office of -the clerk of the town or city. - -§4. The original statements, duly certified as aforesaid, shall be -delivered by the inspectors, or one of them to be deputed for that -purpose, to the supervisor, or, in case there be no supervisor, or he -shall be disabled from attending the board of canvassers, then to one of -the assessors of the town or ward, within twenty-four hours after the -same shall have been subscribed by such inspectors, to be disposed of as -other statements at such election, are now required by law. - -§5. So much of articles first, second, third, and fourth, of title -fifth, of chapter one hundred and thirty, of the act entitled, “An act -respecting elections other than for militia and town officers,” and the -acts amending the same, as regulates the duties of County Canvassers and -their proceedings, and the duty of County Clerks, and the Secretary or -State, and the Board of State Canvassers, shall be applied to the -canvassing and ascertaining the will of the people of this State in -relation to the proposed convention; and if it shall appear that a -majority of the votes or ballots given in and returned as aforesaid are -against a convention, then the said canvassers are required to certify -and declare that fact by a certificate, subscribed by them, and filed -with the Secretary of State; but if it shall appear by the said canvass -that a majority of the ballots or votes given as aforesaid are for a -convention, then they shall by like certificates, to be filed as -aforesaid, declare that fact; and the said Secretary shall communicate a -copy of such certificate to both branches of the Legislature, at the -opening of the next session thereof. Yours, respectfully, - - GIDEON J. TUCKER, Secretary of State. - - SHERIFF’S OFFICE, } - NEW YORK, August 4, 1858. } - -The above is published pursuant to the notice of the Secretary of -State, and the requirements of the Statute in such case made and -provided. - - JAMES C. WILLET, - Sheriff of the City and County of New York. - -☞ All the public newspapers in the county will publish the above once -in each week until the election, and then hand in their bills for -advertising the same, so that they may be laid before the Board of -Supervisors, and passed for payment. See Revised Stat. vol. 1, chap. -6, title 3, article 2d, part 1st, page 140. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FRANCIS B. BALDWIN, WHOLESALE AND RETAIL CLOTHING & FURNISHING -WAREHOUSE, No. 70 and 72 Bowery, between Canal and Hester streets, New -York. Large and elegant assortments of Youths’ and Boys’ Clothing. - - F. B. BALDWIN. - J. G. BARNUM. - -F. B. BALDWIN has just opened his New and Immense Establishment. THE -LARGEST IN THE CITY! An entire New Stock of GENTLEMEN’S, YOUTH’S and -CHILDREN’S CLOTHING, recently manufactured by the best workmen in the -city, is now opened for inspection. Also, a superior stock of -FURNISHING GOODS. All articles are of the Best Quality, and having -been purchased during the crisis, WILL BE SOLD VERY LOW! The Custom -Department contains the greatest variety of CLOTHS, CASSIMERES, and -VESTINGS. - -Mr. BALDWIN has associated with him Mr. J. G. BARNUM, who has had -great experience in the business, having been thirty years connected -with the leading Clothing Establishments of the city. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -JAMES DONNELLY’S COAL YARD—TWENTY-SIXTH street and Second Avenue. I -always have all kinds of coal on hand, and of the very best quality, -which I will sell as low as any other coal dealer in the United -States. - - JAMES DONNELLY. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -WILLIAM COULTER, CARPENTER.—I HAVE LONG been engaged as a Carpenter, -and I assure all who will favor me with their patronage, that I will -build as good houses, or anything else in my line, as any other -carpenter in the city of New York. I will also be as reasonable in -charges for my work as any other person. - - WILLIAM COULTER, Carpenter, - Rear of 216 East Twentieth street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -W. W. OSBORN, MERCHANT TAILOR, 9 CHAMBER street, near Chatham street, -New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -SANTE MENTO.—No. 29 ATTORNEY STREET, NEAR Grand, has a superior -assortment of Cloths, Cassimeres, and Vestings, made to order in the -most fashionable and approved Parisian styles, and at short notice. -Let gentlemen call and patronize me, and I will do my utmost to please -my customers. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FULTON IRON WORKS.—JAMES MURPHY & CO., Manufacturers of Marine and -Land Engines, Boilers, &c. Iron and Brass Castings. Foot of Cherry -Street, East River. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -ROBERT ONDERDONK.—THIRTEENTH WARD Hotel, 405 and 407 Grand street, -corner of Clinton street, New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -WILLIAM M. TWEED, CHAIR & OFFICE FURNITURE Dealer and Manufacturer, -No. 289 Broadway, corner of Read street, New York, Room No. 15. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -FASHION HOUSE—JOSEPH HYDE PROPRIETOR, corner Grand and Essex street. -Wines, Liquors, and Cigars of the best brands. He invites his friends -to give him a call. Prompt and courteous attention given his patrons. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -WILLIAM A. CONKLIN, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR at Law, No. 176 Chatham -street, New York. Any business entrusted to his charge from citizens -of this city or any part of the country, will receive prompt and -faithful attention, and be conducted on reasonable terms. - - WILLIAM A. CONKLIN. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -GEO. KNAPP & CO., WHOLESALE AND RETAIL Dealers in Butter, Cheese, -Eggs, Poultry and country produce, No. -- Clinton Market, opposite -Page’s Hotel, New York. - - GEO. KNAPP. - H. D. ALBERS. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -H. JONES & HOFF, whose place of business is in front of the Astor -House, keep all the latest publications of the day, including all the -Daily and Weekly Newspapers. The public patronage is must respectfully -solicited. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -EDMUND FOWLER, CARPENTER AND BUILDER. No. 74 Reade street, near -Broadway, New York. - -N. B.—All kinds of Jobbing done at short notice. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BOWERY NEWS DEPOT, NO. 177 BOWERY.—CONSTANTLY on hand, Daily, Sunday, -and Weekly Papers, Monthly Magazines, Play Books. Stationary, &c., &c. -English Papers per Steamers. All orders punctually attended to. - - BENNET & CARROLL. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -AMERICAN GLASS COMPANY, MANUFACTURE AND keep constantly on hand at -their Warehouse, Plain, Moulded, and Cut Flint Glass Ware, in all its -varieties. Also Druggists’ and Perfumers’ Ware of all Kinds. Wholesale -Warehouses, No. 163 Pearl street, New York, and No. 54 Kilby street, -Boston. (Factories at South Boston.) D. Burrill &. Co., Agents, New -York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -JNO. WARD, JR., REAL ESTATE AGENT, OFFICES No. 5 Tryon Row, corner -Chatham street, (opposite the Park,) New York, and 4th Avenue, near -126th street, Harlem. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -P. C. GODFREY, STATIONER, BOOKSELLER, AND General News dealer, No. 831 -Broadway, New York, near 13th street. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -AUGUST BRENTANO, CORNER OF HOUSTON STREET and Broadway, has all the -latest Publications, and receives all the Foreign Papers by every -steamer. He also has the back numbers of almost every paper published, -including Branch’s “Alligator.” - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -CLINTON LUNCH, OYSTER AND DINING SALOON. No. 19 Beekman street. The -best of Liquors and Cigars. - - GEO. W. WARNER. - SAMUEL M. MILLER. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -DAVID WILLIAMS, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR at Law, No. 15 Centre street, -New York. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -J. W. MASON, MANUFACTURER, WHOLESALE AND Retail dealers in all kinds -of Chairs, Wash Stands, Settees, &c., No. 377 and 379 Pearl street, -New York. - -Cane and Wood Seat Chairs, in Boxes, for Shipping. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - -BENJAMIN JONES, COMMISSION DEALER, IN REAL Estate, Houses and Stores -and Lots for sale in all parts of the City. Office at the junction of -Broadway, Seventh avenue, and Forty-sixth street. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Stephen H. Branch's Alligator Vol. 1 -no. 21, September 11, 1858, by Stephen H. Branch - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BRANCH'S ALLIGATOR, SEPT 11, 1858 *** - -***** This file should be named 55007-0.txt or 55007-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/5/0/0/55007/ - -Produced by The Online Distributed Proofreading Team at -http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images -generously made available by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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