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-Project Gutenberg's Monica, Volume 3 (of 3), by Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Monica, Volume 3 (of 3)
- A Novel
-
-Author: Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-Release Date: June 20, 2017 [EBook #54942]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MONICA, VOLUME 3 (OF 3) ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by MWS and the Online Distributed Proofreading
-Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
-images generously made available by The Internet
-Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-A Novel.
-
-BY
-
-EVELYN EVERETT-GREEN.
-
-Author of
-
-“Torwood’s Trust,” “The Last of the Dacres,”
-“Ruthven of Ruthven,” Etc.
-
-
-_IN THREE VOLUMES._
-
-VOL. III.
-
-
-LONDON:
-WARD AND DOWNEY,
-12, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.
-1889.
-
-
-
-
-PRINTED BY
-KELLY AND CO., GATE STREET, LINCOLN’S INN FIELDS,
-AND KINGSTON-ON-THAMES.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS.
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.
-
- PAGE
-
-Beatrice 1
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.
-
-Storm 17
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.
-
-Widowed 39
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.
-
-Monica 61
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.
-
-Haunted 79
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.
-
-Lovers 97
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.
-
-“As We Forgive” 124
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.
-
-Lord Haddon 155
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.
-
-Christmas 177
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.
-
-The Last 194
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.
-
-BEATRICE.
-
-
-“Beatrice, I believe my words are coming true, after all. I begin to
-think you are getting tired of Trevlyn already.”
-
-It was Monica who spoke thus. She had surprised Beatrice alone in the
-boudoir at dusk one afternoon, sitting in an attitude of listless
-dejection, with the undoubted brightness of unshed tears in her eyes.
-
-But the girl looked up quickly, trying to regain all her usual
-animation, though the attempt was not a marked success, and Monica sat
-down beside her, and laid one hand upon hers in a sort of mute caress.
-
-“You are not happy with us, Beatrice, I see it more and more plainly
-every day. You have grown pale since you came here, and your spirits
-vary every hour, but they do not improve, and you are often sad. I
-think Trevlyn cannot suit you. I think I shall have to prescribe change
-of air and scene, and a meeting later on in some other place.”
-
-Monica spoke with a sort of grave gentleness, that indicated a
-tenderness she could not well express more clearly. For answer,
-Beatrice suddenly flung herself on her knees before her hostess,
-burying her face in her hands.
-
-“Oh, don’t send me away, Monica! Don’t send me away! I could not bear
-it—indeed I could not! I am miserable—I am wretched company. I don’t
-wonder you are tired of me; but ah! don’t send me away from you, and
-from Trevlyn. I think I shall _die_ if you do. Oh, why is the world
-such a hard, cruel place?”
-
-Monica was startled at this sudden outburst, for since the day
-following her arrival Beatrice had showed herself unusually reserved.
-She had been _distraite_, absorbed, fitful in her moods, but never once
-expansive; therefore, this unexpected impulse towards confidence was
-the more surprising.
-
-“Beatrice,” she said gently, “I did not mean to distress you. You know
-how very, very welcome you are to stay with us. But you are unhappy;
-you are far more unhappy than when you came.”
-
-Beatrice shook her head vehemently at this point, but Monica continued
-in the same quiet way. “You are unhappy, you are restless and
-miserable. Beatrice, answer me frankly, would you be happy if Tom
-Pendrill were not here? He has already outstayed his original time, and
-we could quite easily get rid of him if his presence is a trouble to
-you. We never stand on ceremony with Tom, and Randolph could manage it
-in a moment.”
-
-Beatrice lifted a pale, startled face.
-
-“Tom Pendrill?” she repeated, almost sharply. “What has he got to
-do with it? What makes you bring in his name? What do you know
-about—about——?” She stopped suddenly.
-
-“I know nothing except what I see for myself—nothing but what your
-face and his tell me. It is easy to see that you have known each
-other before, and under rather exceptional circumstances, perhaps. Do
-you think it escapes me, that feverish gaiety of yours whenever he is
-near—gaiety that is expended in laughing, chatting, flirting, perhaps,
-with the other guests, but is never by any chance directed to him? Do
-you think I do not notice how quickly that affectation of high spirits
-evaporates when he is gone; how many fits of sad musing follow in its
-wake? How is it you two never talk to one another? never exchange
-anything beyond the most frigid commonplaces? It is not your way to
-be so distant and so cool, Beatrice. There must be a reason. Tell me
-truly, would you not be happier if Tom Pendrill were to go back to St.
-Maws?”
-
-But Beatrice shook her head again, and heaved a long, shuddering sigh.
-
-“Oh, no, no!” she said. “Don’t send him away. Nothing really matters
-now; nothing can do either good or harm. Let him stay. I think his
-heart is made of ice. He does not care; why should I? It is nothing but
-my folly and weakness, only it brings it all back so bitterly—all my
-pride, and self-will, and stubbornness. Well, I have suffered for it
-now.”
-
-It was plain that a confession was hovering on Beatrice’s lips; that
-she was anxious at last to unburden herself of her secret. Monica
-helped her by asking a direct question.
-
-“Were you engaged to him once?”
-
-“No—no! not quite. I had not got quite so far as that. I might have
-been. He asked me to be his wife, and I—I——” She paused, and then went
-on more coherently.
-
-“I will tell you all about it. It was years ago, when I was barely
-eighteen—a gay, giddy girl, just ‘out,’ full of fun, very wild and
-saucy, and thoroughly spoiled by persistent petting and indulgence. I
-was the only daughter of the house, and believed that Lady Beatrice
-Wentworth was a being of vast importance. Well, I suppose people
-spoiled us because we were orphans. We were all more or less spoiled,
-and I think it was the ruin of my eldest brother. He was at Oxford at
-the time I am speaking of; and I was taken to Commemoration by some gay
-friends of ours, who had brothers and sons at Oxford.
-
-“It was there I met Tom Pendrill. He was the ‘chum’ of one of the
-undergraduate sons of my chaperon, and he was a great man just then. He
-had distinguished himself tremendously in the schools, I know—had taken
-a double-first, or something, and other things beside. He was quite a
-lion in his own set, and I heard an immense deal in his praise, and was
-tremendously impressed, quite convinced that there was not such another
-man in the world. He was almost always in our party, and he took a
-great deal of notice of me. He gave us breakfast in his rooms, and I
-sat next him, and helped to do the honours of the table. You can’t
-think how proud I was at being singled out by him, how delighted I was
-to walk by his side, listening to his words of wisdom, how elevated I
-often felt, how taken out of myself into quite a new world of thought
-and feeling.”
-
-Beatrice paused. A smile—half sad, half bitter—played for a moment over
-her face; then she took up the thread of her narrative.
-
-“I need not go into the subject of my feelings. I was very young, and
-all the glamour of youth and inexperience was upon me. I had never,
-in all my life, come across a man in the least like him—so clever, so
-witty, so cultured, and withal with so strong a personality. He was
-not silent and cynical, as he is now, but full of life and sparkle, of
-brilliance and humour. I was dazzled and captivated. I believed there
-had never been such a man in the world before. He was my ideal, my
-hero; and he seemed to court me, which was the most wonderful thing of
-all.
-
-“You know what young girls are like? No, perhaps you don’t, and I
-will avoid generalities, and speak only of myself. Just because he
-captivated me so much—my fancy, my intellect, my heart—just because
-I began to feel his power growing so strongly upon me, I grew shy,
-frightened, restive. I was very wilful and capricious. I wanted him to
-admire me, and I was proud that he seemed to do so; but I did not in
-the least want to acknowledge his power over me. I was frightened at
-it. I tried to ignore it—to keep it off.
-
-“So, in a kind of foolish defiance and mistrust of myself, I began
-flirting tremendously with a silly young marquis, whom I heartily
-despised and disliked. I only favoured him when Tom Pendrill was
-present, for I wanted to make him jealous, and to feel my power over
-him. Coquetry is born in some women, I believe; I am sure it was born
-in me. I did not mean any harm. I never cared a bit for the creature.
-I cared for no one but the man I affected now to be tired of. But
-rumours got about. I suppose it would have been a very good match for
-me. People said I was going to marry the cub, and I only laughed when I
-heard the report. I was young, vain, and foolish enough to feel rather
-flattered than otherwise.”
-
-She paused a moment, with another of those bitter-sweet smiles, and
-went on very quietly:
-
-“Why are girls so badly brought up? I was not bad at heart; but I was
-vain and frivolous. I loved to inflict pain of a kind upon others, till
-I played once too often with edge-tools, and have suffered for it ever
-since. Of course, Tom Pendrill heard these reports, and, of course,
-they angered him deeply; for I had given him every encouragement.
-He did not know the complex workings of a woman’s heart, her wild
-struggles for supremacy before she can be content to yield herself up
-for ever a willing sacrifice. He did not understand; how should he? I
-did not either till it was too late.
-
-“I saw him once more alone. We were walking by the river one moonlight
-night. He was unlike himself—silent, moody, imperious. All of a sudden
-it burst out. He asked me almost fiercely if I would be his wife—he
-almost claimed my promise as his right—said that I owed him that
-reparation for destroying his peace of mind. How my heart leapt as I
-heard those words. A torrent of love seemed to surge over me. I was
-terrified at the depth of feeling he had stirred up. I struggled with
-a sort of fury against being carried away by it, against betraying
-myself too unreservedly. I don’t remember what I said; I was terribly
-agitated. I believe in my confusion and bewilderment I said something
-disgusting about my rank and his—the difference between us. Then he
-cast that odious marquis in my teeth, supposed that the report he had
-heard was true, that I was going to sell myself for the reversion of a
-ducal coronet, since I thought so much of _rank_. I was furious; all
-the more furious because I had brought it on myself, though, had he but
-known it, it was ungenerous to take me at a disadvantage, and cast my
-words back at me like that—words spoken without the least consideration
-or intention. But, right or wrong, he did it, and I answered back
-with more vehemence than before. I don’t know what I said, but it was
-enough for him, at any rate. He turned upon me—I think he almost cursed
-me—not in words, but in the cruel scorn expressed in his face and in
-his voice. Ah! it hurts me even now. Then he left me without another
-word, without a sign or sound of farewell—left me standing alone by
-that river. I never saw him again till we met in your drawing-room that
-night.”
-
-Beatrice paused; Monica had taken her hand in token of sympathy, but
-she did not speak.
-
-“Of course, at first I thought he would come back. I never dreamed
-he would believe I had really led him on, only to reject him with
-contempt, when once he dared to speak his heart to me. We had
-quarrelled; and I was very miserable, knowing how foolish I had been;
-but I never, never believed for a moment that he would take that
-quarrel as final.
-
-“Two wretched days of suspense followed. Then I heard that he had left
-Oxford the morning after our interview by the river, and I knew that
-all was over between us. That is the story of my life, Monica; it does
-not sound much to tell, but it means a good deal to me. I have never
-loved anyone else—I do not think I ever shall.”
-
-Monica was silent.
-
-“Neither has he.”
-
-Beatrice’s eyes were full of a sort of wistful sadness and tender
-regret; but she only kissed Monica very quietly, and stole silently
-from the room.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.
-
-STORM.
-
-
-“Ah, Randolph! I am glad you are in. It is going to be such a rough
-night!”
-
-Monica was sitting by the fire in her own room, waiting for her husband
-to join her there, as he always did immediately upon coming in from
-his day’s sport. They had one or two more guests at Trevlyn now—men,
-friends of Randolph’s in days past; but nothing ever hindered him from
-devoting this one hour before dinner to his wife. It was to Monica the
-happiest hour of the day.
-
-“I am so glad to have you safe back. Are you not very wet?”
-
-“No; I was well protected from the rain; but it has been a disagreeable
-sort of day. The other fellows were carried off to dine at Hartland’s.
-We came across their party just outside the park, and he begged us all
-to accept his hospitality for the night, as the weather was getting
-so bad. Haddon and I came home to tell you, but the rest accepted the
-invitation. We shall be quite a small party to-night.”
-
-Monica looked up with a smile.
-
-“I think I am glad of that, Randolph.”
-
-He sat down and put his arm about her.
-
-“Tired of our guests already, Monica?”
-
-“I don’t know—I like to have your friends, and to help to make them
-enjoy themselves; but I don’t think there is any such happiness as
-having you all to myself.”
-
-He held her closer to him, and looked with a proud fond smile into her
-face.
-
-“You feel that too, Monica?”
-
-“Ah, yes! How could I help it?”
-
-He fancied she spoke sadly, and would know why.
-
-“I think I have been sad all day,” she answered; “I am often sad before
-a storm, when I hear the wind moaning round the house. It makes me
-think of the brave men at sea, and their wives waiting for them at
-home.”
-
-There was a little quiver in her voice as she spoke the last words.
-Randolph heard it, and held her very close to him.
-
-“It is not such a very bad night, Monica.”
-
-“No; but it makes me think. When you are away, I cannot help feeling
-sad, often. Ah, my husband! how can I tell you all that you have been
-to me these happy, happy months?”
-
-“My sweet wife!” he murmured, softly.
-
-“And other wives love their husbands,” she went on in the same dreamy
-way, “and they see them go away over the dark sea, never to come back
-any more,” and she shivered.
-
-“Let us go to the music-room, Monica,” said Randolph. “You shall play
-the hymn for those at sea.”
-
-He knew the power of music to soothe her, when these strange moods of
-sadness and fear came upon her. They went to the organ together, and
-before half-an-hour had passed Monica was her own calm, serene self
-again.
-
-“Monica,” said Randolph, “can you sing something to me now—now that we
-are quite alone together? Do you remember that little sad, sweet song
-you sang the night before I went away to Scotland? Will you sing it to
-me now? I have so often wanted to hear it again.”
-
-Monica gave him one quick glance, and struck the preliminary chords
-softly and dreamily.
-
-Wonderfully rich and sweet her voice sounded; but low-toned and deep,
-with a subtle searching sweetness that spoke straight to the heart:
-
- “‘And if thou wilt, remember—
- And if thou wilt, forget.’”
-
-There was the least little quiver in her voice as it died into silence.
-Randolph bent over her and kissed her on the lips.
-
-“Thank you,” he said. “It is a haunting little song in its sad
-sweetness. Somehow, it seems like you, Monica.”
-
-But she made no answer, for at that moment a sound reached their ears
-that made them both start, listening intently. Monica’s face grew white
-to the lips.
-
-The sound was repeated with greater distinctness.
-
-“A gun!” said Randolph.
-
-“A ship in distress!” whispered Monica.
-
-A ship in distress upon that cruel, iron-bound coast—a pitch-dark night
-and a rising gale!
-
-Randolph looked grave and resolute.
-
-“We must see what can be done,” he said.
-
-Monica’s face was very pale, but as resolute as her husband’s.
-
-“I will go with you!” she said.
-
-He glanced at, her, but he did not say her nay.
-
-In the hall servants were gathering in visible excitement. Lord Haddon
-was there, and Beatrice. The distressing signals from the doomed vessel
-were urging their imperative message upon every heart. Faces were
-flushed with excitement. Every eye was turned upon the master of the
-house.
-
-“Haddon,” he said, “there is not a man on the place that can ride like
-you, and you know every inch of the country by this time. Will you do
-this?—take the fastest, surest horse in the stable, and gallop to the
-nearest life-boat station. You know where it is?—Good! Give the alarm
-there, and get all in readiness. If the ship is past our help, and
-drifts with the wind, they may be able to save her crew still.”
-
-Haddon stayed to ask no more. He was off for the stables almost before
-the words had left Randolph’s lips.
-
-Monica was wrapping herself up in her warm ulster; Beatrice followed
-her example; the one was flushed, the other pale, but both were bent on
-the same object—they must go down to the shore to see what was done.
-They could not rest with the sound of those terrible guns ringing in
-their ears.
-
-The night was pitchy black, the sky was obscured by a thick bank of
-cloud. The wind blew fierce and strong, what sailors would call “half
-a gale.” It was a wild, “dirty” night, but not nearly so bad a one as
-they often knew upon that coast.
-
-The lanterns lighted them down the steep cliff-path, every foot of
-which, however, was well known to Monica. She kept close beside her
-husband. He gave her his hand over every difficult piece of the road,
-Beatrice followed a little more slowly. At last they all stood together
-upon the rocky floor of the bay.
-
-Monica looked out to sea. She was the first to realise what had
-happened.
-
-“She has struck on the reef!” she said. “She does not drift. She has
-struck!”
-
-“And in such a sea she will be dashed to pieces in a very short time,”
-said Randolph, as another signal flashed out from the doomed vessel.
-
-Other lights were moving about the shore. It was plain that the whole
-population of the little hamlet had gathered at the water’s edge.
-Through the gusts of rain they could see indistinctly moving figures;
-they could catch as a faint murmur the loud, eager tones of their
-voices.
-
-“Stay here, Monica,” said Randolph, “under the shelter of this rock. I
-must go and see what is being done. Wait here for me.”
-
-She had held fast by his arm till now! but she loosed his clasp as she
-heard these words.
-
-“You will come back?” she said, striving to speak calmly and steadily.
-
-“Yes, as soon as I can. I must see what can be done. There seems to be
-a boat. I must go and see if it cannot be launched. The sea in the bay
-is not so very wild.”
-
-Randolph was gone already. Beatrice and Monica were left standing in
-the lee of a projection of the cliff. They thought they were quite
-alone. They did not see a crouching figure not many paces away,
-squeezed into a dark fissure of the rock. The night was too obscure
-to see anything, save where the flashing lights illumined the gloom.
-Even the wild beast glitter of a pair of fierce eyes watching intently
-passed unseen and unheeded.
-
-Monica looked out to sea with a strange fixed yearning in her dark
-eyes. She was looking towards the vessel, struck fast upon the very
-rock where she had once stood face to face with death. How well she
-remembered that moment and the strange calmness that possessed her!
-She never realised the peril she was in—it had seemed a small thing
-to her then whether she lived or died. She recalled her feelings so
-well—was she really the same Monica who had stood so calmly there
-whilst the waves leaped up as if to devour her? Where was her old, calm
-indifference now?—that strange courage prompted by the want of natural
-love for life?
-
-A sense of revelation swept over Monica at that moment. She had never
-really feared, because she had never truly loved. It was not death even
-now that she dreaded for herself, or for her husband, but separation.
-Danger, even to death, shared with him, would be almost welcome: but to
-think of his facing danger alone—that was too terrible. She pressed her
-hands closely together. It seemed as if her very soul cried to Heaven
-to keep away this dire necessity. Why she suspected its existence she
-could not have explained, but the shadow that had hung upon her all day
-seemed wrapping itself about her like a cloud.
-
-“Monica, how you tremble!” said Beatrice. “Are you cold? Are you
-afraid?”
-
-She was trembling herself, but it was with excitement and impatience.
-
-Monica did not answer, and Beatrice moved a little away. She was too
-restless to stand still.
-
-Monica did not miss her. A storm was sweeping over her soul—one of
-those storms that only perhaps come once in a life-time, and that leave
-indelible traces behind them. It seemed to her as if all her life long
-she had been waiting for this hour—as if everything in her past life
-had been but leading up to it.
-
-Had she not known from her earliest childhood that some day this
-beautiful, terrible, pitiless sea was to do her some deadly injury—to
-wreck her life and leave her desolate? Ay she had known it always—and
-now—had the hour come?
-
-Not in articulate words did Monica ask this question. It came as a sort
-of voiceless cry from the depths of her heart. She did not think, she
-did not reason—she only stood quite still, her hands closely clasped,
-her white face turned towards the sea, with a mute, stricken look of
-pain that yet expressed but a tithe of the bitter pain at her heart.
-
-But during those few minutes, that seemed a life-time to her, the
-battle had been fought out and the victory won. The old calmness had
-come back to her. She had not faced this hour all her life to be a
-coward now.
-
-She was a Trevlyn—and when had a Trevlyn ever been known to shrink or
-falter before a call of duty?
-
-Beatrice rushed back with the greatest excitement of manner.
-
-“They have a boat, but nearly all the men are away—the strong men who
-could man it easily. There are a few strong lads, who are willing and
-eager to go, and two fishermen; but there are only six in all, and they
-don’t know if it is enough. Oh, dear! oh, dear! And those poor people
-in the ship! Must they all be drowned?”
-
-“I think not,” answered Monica, quietly. “I think some means will be
-found to save them. Where is Randolph?”
-
-Randolph was beside her next moment.
-
-“Ah, if only I were a man,” Beatrice was saying, excitedly. “Ah! why
-are women so useless, so helpless? To think of them drowning within
-sight of land—and they say the sea does not run so very high. Oh, what
-will they do? They cannot let them drown! Randolph, can nothing be
-done?”
-
-“Yes, something can be done,” he answered steadily and cheerfully. “The
-boat is being run down. It will not be difficult or dangerous to launch
-her in shelter of the cliff. There are six men to man it—all they want
-is a coxswain. Monica,” he added, turning to her, and taking both her
-hands in his strong clasp, “you have taught me to navigate the Bay of
-Trevlyn so well, that I am equal to take that task upon myself. There
-are lives to be saved—the danger to the rescuing party is small, they
-say so, and I believe they speak the truth. Will you let me go?”
-
-She looked up to him with a mute entreaty in her eyes.
-
-“There are lives to be saved, my Monica,” he said, with grave
-gentleness. “Are our brothers to go down within sight of land, without
-one effort on our part to save them? Have you not wept for such scenes
-before now? Have you no pity to-night? Monica, in that vessel on the
-rocks there are men, perhaps, whose wives are waiting at home for them,
-and praying for their safety. Will you let me go?”
-
-She spoke at length with manifest effort, though her manner was quite
-calm.
-
-“Is there no one else?”
-
-“There is no one else.”
-
-For perhaps ten seconds there was perfect silence between them.
-
-“Then Randolph, I will let you go.”
-
-He bent his head and kissed her.
-
-“I knew my wife would bid me do my duty,” he said proudly; “and believe
-me, my life, the danger is not great, and already the wind seems
-abating. It is but a small vessel. In all probability one journey will
-suffice. We shall not be out of sight, save for the darkness; we shall
-be under the lee of the cliff for the best part of the way. The boat is
-sound, the men know their work. We shall soon be back in safety, please
-God, and then you will be glad that you let me go.”
-
-She lifted her head and looked at him.
-
-“Take me with you, Randolph.”
-
-“My darling, I cannot. It would not be right. We must not load the boat
-needlessly, even were there no other reason. Your presence there would
-take away half my courage, and perhaps it might necessitate leaving
-behind some poor fellow who otherwise might be saved.”
-
-Monica said no more. She knew that he spoke the truth.
-
-Her white, still face with its stricken look, went to his heart. He
-knew how strangely nervous she was on wild, windy nights. He knew it
-would be hard for her to let him go, but she had shown herself his
-brave, true Monica, as he knew she would do, and now the kindest thing
-he could do was to shorten the parting, and return to her as quickly as
-his errand would allow him.
-
-He held her a moment in his strong arms.
-
-“Good-bye, my Monica, my own sweet wife. Keep up a brave heart. Kiss me
-once and let me go. Whatever happens, we are in God’s hands. Remember
-that always.”
-
-She lifted her pale face, there was something strangely pathetic in its
-haunting beauty.
-
-“Let me see you smile before I go. Tell me again that you bid me do my
-duty.”
-
-Suddenly the old serenity and peace came back to the upturned face. The
-smile he asked for shone in her sweet eyes.
-
-“Good-bye, my Randolph—my husband—good-bye. Yes, I do bid you do your
-duty. May God bless and keep you always.”
-
-For a moment they stood together, heart pressed to heart, their lips
-meeting in one long, lingering kiss; for one moment a strange shadow as
-of farewell seemed to hang upon them, and they clung together as if no
-power on earth could separate them.
-
-The next moment he was gone, and Monica, left alone, stretched out her
-hands in the darkness.
-
-“Oh, my love! my love!”
-
-It was the one irrepressible cry from the depths of her heart; the
-next moment she repeated dreamily to herself the words that had lately
-passed her husband’s lips:
-
-“‘Whatever happens, we are in God’s hands. Remember that always.’
-Randolph, I will! I will!”
-
-A ringing cheer told her that the boat was off. Nobody had seen the
-slim figure that had slunk after Randolph down to the beach. No one,
-in the darkness and general excitement, had seen that same slim figure
-leap lightly and noiselessly into the boat, and crouch down in the
-extreme end of the bow.
-
-Conrad Fitzgerald had witnessed the parting between husband and wife;
-he had heard every word that had passed between them; and now, as he
-crouched with a tiger-like ferocity in the bottom of the boat, he
-muttered:
-
-“This time he shall not escape me!”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.
-
-WIDOWED.
-
-
-The boat launched by the rescuing party vanished in the darkness.
-Monica stood where her husband had left her in the shelter of the
-cliff, her pale face turned seawards, her eyes fixed upon the
-glimmering crests of the great waves, as they came rolling calmly in,
-in their resistless might and majesty.
-
-Beatrice had twice come back to her, to assure her with eager vehemence
-that the danger was very slight, that it was lessening every moment as
-the wind shifted and abated in force—dangerous, indeed, for the poor
-fellows in the doomed vessel that had struck upon the fatal reef, but
-not very perilous for the willing and eager and experienced crew that
-had started off to rescue them. Beatrice urged this many times upon
-Monica; but the latter stood quite still and spoke not a word; only
-gazed out to sea with the same strange yearning gaze that was like a
-mute farewell.
-
-Was it only an hour ago that she had been with her husband at home,
-telling him of the dim foreboding of coming woe that had haunted her
-all that day? It seemed to her as if she had all her life been standing
-beside the dark margin of this tempest-tossed sea, waiting the return
-of him who made all the happiness of her life—and waiting in vain.
-
-Beatrice looked at her once or twice, but did not speak again.
-Presently she moved down towards the water’s edge. Surely the boat
-would be coming back now!
-
-Suddenly there was a glad shout of triumph and joy from the
-fisher-folk, down by the brink of the sea.
-
-“Here she is!” “Here she comes!” “Steady, there!” “Ease her a bit!”
-“This way now!” “Be ready, lads!” “Here she comes!” “Now, then, all
-together!” “After this wave—NOW!”
-
-Cries, shouts, an eager confusion of tongues—the grating of a boat’s
-keel upon the beach, and then a ringing hearty cheer.
-
-“All safe?”
-
-“All saved—five of them and a lad.” “Just in time only.” “She wouldn’t
-have floated five minutes longer.” “She was going down like lead.”
-
-What noise and confusion there was—people crowding round, flitting
-figures passing to and fro in the obscurity, every one talking, all
-speaking together—such a hubbub as Beatrice had never witnessed before.
-She stood in glad, impatient expectancy on the outskirts of the little
-crowd. Why did not Randolph come away from them to Monica? Why did she
-not hear his voice with the rest? Her heart gave a sudden throb as of
-terror.
-
-“Where is Lord Trevlyn?”
-
-Her voice, sharpened by the sudden fear that had seized her, was heard
-through all the eager clamour of those who stood round. A gleam of
-moonlight, struggling through the clouds, lighted up the group for a
-moment. The words went round like wildfire: “Where is Lord Trevlyn?”
-and men looked each other in the face, growing pale with conscious
-bewilderment. Where, indeed, was Lord Trevlyn? He was certainly not
-amongst them; yet he had undoubtedly steered the boat to shore. Where
-was he now? Men talked in loud, rapid tones. Women ran hither and
-thither, wringing their hands in distressful excitement, hunting for
-the missing man with futile eagerness. What had happened? Where could
-he be?
-
-Suddenly a deep silence fell upon all; for in the brightening moonlight
-they saw that Monica stood amongst them—pale, calm and still, as a
-spirit from another world.
-
-“Tell me,” she said.
-
-The story was told by one and another. Monica was used to the people
-and their ways. She gathered without difficulty the substance of the
-story. The boat had reached, without over-much difficulty or danger,
-the sinking vessel. She was a small coaling ship, with a crew of seven
-men and a boy. Two of the former had already been washed away, and the
-vessel was sinking rapidly. The five survivors were easily rescued;
-but the lad was entangled in the rigging, and was too much exhausted
-to free himself and follow. Lord Trevlyn was the first to realise
-this, and he sprang out of the boat at some peril to himself to the
-lad’s assistance. Nobody had been able to see in the darkness what had
-passed, but all agreed that the lad had been handed to those in the
-boat by a pair of strong arms, and that after an interval of about
-three minutes—for the boat had swung round, and had to be brought back
-again, which took a little time—a man had sprung back into the boat,
-had shouted “All right!” had seized the tiller, and sung out to the
-crew to “Give way, and put off!” which they had done immediately, glad
-enough to be clear of the masts of the sinking vessel, which were in
-dangerous proximity.
-
-No one had been able in the darkness to see the face of the steersman;
-but all agreed that the voice was “a gentleman’s”; and most mysterious
-of all was the fact that the boat had been steered to shore with a
-skill that showed a thorough knowledge of the coast, and that not a man
-of those who now stood round had ever laid a hand upon the tiller.
-
-A thrill of superstitious awe ran round as this fact became known,
-together with the terrible certainty that Lord Trevlyn had _not_
-returned with them. Was it indeed a phantom hand that had guided the
-frail bark through the wild, tossing waves? The bravest man there felt
-a shiver of awe—the women sobbed, and trembled unrestrainedly.
-
-The boat was put to sea once more without a moment’s delay. The wind
-was dropping, the tide had turned, and the danger was well nigh over.
-But heads were shaken in mute despair, and old men shook their heads
-at the bare idea of the survival of any swimmer, who had been left to
-battle with the waves round the sunken reef on a stormy winter’s night.
-
-Monica stood like a statue; she heeded neither the wailing of the
-women, the murmurs of sympathy from the men, nor the clasp of
-Beatrice’s hand round her cold fingers. She saw nothing, heard nothing,
-save the tossing, the moaning of the pitiless sea.
-
-The boat came back at last—came back in dead, mournful silence. That
-silence said all that was needed.
-
-Monica stepped towards the weary, dejected men, who had just left the
-boat for the second time.
-
-“You have done all that you could,” she said gently. “I thank you from
-my heart.”
-
-And then she turned quietly away to go home—alone.
-
-No one dared follow her too closely; even Beatrice kept some distance
-behind, sick with misery and sympathetic despair. Monica’s step did not
-falter. She went back to the spot where her husband had left her, and
-stood still, looking out over the sea.
-
-“Good-bye, my love—my own dear love,” she said, very softly and calmly.
-“It has come at last, as I knew it would, when he held me in his arms
-for the last time on earth. Did he know it, too? I think he did just at
-the last. I saw it in his brave, tender face as he gave me that last
-kiss. But he died doing his duty. I will bear it for his sake.” Yet
-with an irrepressible gesture of anguish she held out her arms in the
-darkness, crying out, not loud, indeed, but from the very depth of her
-broken heart, “Ah, Randolph!—husband—my love! my love!”
-
-That was all; that one passionate cry of sorrow. After it calmness
-returned to her once more. She stepped towards Beatrice, who stood a
-little way off, and held out her hand.
-
-“Come, dear,” she said. “We must go home.”
-
-Beatrice was more agitated than Monica. She was convulsed with tearless
-sobs. She could only just command herself to stumble uncertainly up the
-steep cliff path that Monica trod with ease and freedom.
-
-The moon was shining clearly now. She could see the gaze that her
-companion turned for one moment over the tossing waste of waters. She
-caught the softly-whispered words, “Good-bye, dear love! good bye!” and
-a sudden burst of tears came to her relief; but Monica’s eyes were dry.
-
-As they entered the castle hall, they saw that the ill news had
-preceded them. Pale-faced servants, both men and women, stood awed and
-trembling, waiting, as it seemed, for their mistress. A sound as of
-hushed weeping greeted them as they entered.
-
-No one ever forgot the look upon Monica’s face as she entered her
-desolated home. It was far more sad in its unutterable calm than the
-wildest expression of grief could have been. Nobody dared to speak a
-word, save the old nurse who had tended Randolph from childhood. She
-stepped forward, the tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks.
-
-“Oh, my lady! my lady!” she sobbed.
-
-Monica paused, looked for one moment at the faithful servant; then bent
-her head, and kissed her.
-
-“Dear nurse,” she said gently, “you always loved him;” and then she
-passed quietly on to the music-room—the room that she and her husband
-had quitted together less than three hours before, and shut herself up
-there—alone.
-
-Beatrice dared not follow. She let Wilberforce take her upstairs, and
-tend her like a child, whilst they mingled their tears together over
-the brave young life cut short in its manhood’s strength and prime.
-Randolph’s nurse was no stranger to Beatrice, and it was easy for the
-good woman to speak with authority to one whom she had known as a
-child, force her to take some nourishment, and exchange wet garments
-for dry. She could not be induced to go to bed, exhausted though she
-was, but the wine and soup did her good, and the hearty burst of
-weeping had relieved her overcharged heart. She felt more like herself
-when, after an hour’s time, she went downstairs again; but, oh! what a
-different house it was from what it had been a few hours back!
-
-It was by that time eleven o’clock. Monica was still shut up in the
-music-room. Nothing had been heard of Haddon; she had hardly even given
-him a thought. She went down slowly to the hall, and found herself
-face to face with Tom Pendrill. He wore his hat and great coat. He
-had evidently just arrived in haste. As he removed the former she was
-startled at the look upon his face. She had not believed it capable of
-expressing so much feeling.
-
-“Beatrice,” he said hoarsely, “is it true?”
-
-He did not know he had called her by her Christian name, and she hardly
-noticed it at the moment. She only bent her head and answered:
-
-“Yes, it is true.”
-
-Together they passed into the lighted drawing-room, and stood on either
-side the glowing hearth, looking at each other fixedly.
-
-“Where is Monica?”
-
-“In the music-room, alone. They were there together when the guns
-began. It will kill her, I am certain it will!”
-
-“No,” answered Tom quietly; “she will not die. It would be happier for
-her if she could.”
-
-Beatrice looked at him with quivering lips.
-
-“Oh!” she said at last. “You understand her?”
-
-“Yes,” he answered absently, looking away into the fire. “I understand
-her. She will not die.”
-
-Both were very silent for a time. Then he spoke.
-
-“You were there?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Tell me about it.”
-
-“You have not heard?”
-
-“Only the barest outline. Sit down and tell me all.”
-
-She did not resent his air of authority. She sat down, and did his
-bidding. Tom listened in deep silence, weighing every word.
-
-He made no comment on the strange story; but a very dark shadow rested
-upon his sharp featured face.
-
-He was a man of keen observation and acuteness of perception, and his
-mind often leaped to a conclusion that no present premises seemed to
-justify. Not for a moment would he have given utterance to the question
-that had suggested itself to his mind; but there it was, repeating
-itself again and again with persistent iteration.
-
-“Can there have been foul play?”
-
-He spoke not a word, his face told no tales; but he was musing
-intently. Where was that half mad fellow, Fitzgerald; who some months
-ago had seemed on the high-road to drink himself to madness or death?
-He had not been heard of for some time past; but Tom could not get the
-question out of his mind.
-
-In the deep silence that reigned in the room every sound could be heard
-distinctly. Beatrice suddenly started, for they were aware that the
-door of the music-room had been opened, and that Monica was coming
-towards them. The girl turned pale, and looked almost frightened. Tom
-stood up as his hostess appeared, setting his face like a flint.
-
-The long hour that had seemed like a life-time to the wife—the
-widow—how could they bring themselves to think of her as such?—had left
-no outward traces upon Monica. Her face was calm and still, and very
-pale, but it was not convulsed by grief, and her eyes did not look as
-though they had shed tears, although there was no hardness in their
-depths. They shone with something of star-like brightness, at once
-soft and brilliant. The sweet serenity that had long been the habitual
-expression of her face seemed intensified rather than changed.
-
-“Beatrice,” she said quietly, “where is your brother?”
-
-“I don’t know.”
-
-“Has he not come in?”
-
-“Not that I know of.”
-
-“We must inquire. He has been so many hours gone. I am uneasy about
-him.”
-
-“Oh, never mind about him,” said Beatrice, quickly. “He will be all
-right.”
-
-“We must think of him,” she answered. “Tom, it was good of you to come
-back. What brought you? Did you hear?”
-
-“I heard a rumour. Of course I came back. Is there anything I can
-do?” He spoke abruptly, like a man labouring under some weight of
-oppression.
-
-“I wish you would go and inquire for Lord Haddon. Randolph sent him to
-the life-boat station, because he believed he would ride over faster
-than anybody else. I think he should be followed now, if he has not
-come back. I cannot think what can have detained him so long.”
-
-“I will go and make inquiries,” said Tom.
-
-“Thank you. I should be much obliged if you would.”
-
-But as it turned out, there was no need for him to do this. Even as
-Monica spoke they became aware of a slight stir in the hall. Uncertain,
-rapid steps crossed the intervening space, and the next moment Haddon
-stood before them in the doorway, white, drenched, dishevelled,
-exhausted, leaning as if for support against the framework, whilst his
-eyes sought those of his sister with a strange look of dazed horror.
-
-“Beatrice!” he cried, in a strained, unnatural tone. “Say it is not
-true!”
-
-Monica had stepped forward, anxious and startled at his appearance. The
-look upon her face must have brought conviction home to Haddon’s heart,
-and this terrible conviction completed the work begun by previous
-over-fatigue and exhaustion. He made two uncertain steps forward,
-looked round him in a dazed bewildered way; then putting his hand to
-his head with a sudden gesture as of pain, called out:
-
-“I say, what is it?—Look out!” and Tom had only just time to spring
-forward and guide his fall as he dropped in a dead faint upon the
-couch hard by.
-
-“Poor boy!” said Monica gently; “the shock has been too much for him.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-Lord Haddon was carried upstairs by Tom’s direction, and put to bed at
-once, but it was a very long time before he recovered consciousness,
-and the doctor’s face was grave when he rejoined Monica and Beatrice an
-hour later.
-
-Afterwards they learned that he had reached the life-boat station, only
-to find the boat out in another direction, that he had lost his way
-in the darkness, and had been riding for hours over trackless moors,
-wet through by driving storms of rain, obliged often to halt, despite
-the cold and wet, to wait for passing gleams of moonlight to show him
-his way; and this after a long day’s shooting and a long fast. He had
-reached the castle at last, utterly worn out and exhausted, only to
-hear the terrible news of the death of his best friend. The strain had
-been too much, and he had given way.
-
-He awoke to consciousness only in a high state of fever, with pain in
-every joint; and Beatrice, in answer to Tom’s question, admitted that
-her brother had had a sharp attack of rheumatic fever some three years
-before, and had always been rather susceptible to cold and damp ever
-since.
-
-Tom looked gravely at Monica.
-
-“I was afraid he was in for something of that kind.”
-
-“Poor boy!” she said again, very gently. “I am so sorry. You will stay
-with us, Tom? It will be a comfort to have you.”
-
-“Of course I will stay,” he answered, in his abruptest fashion. “I
-shall sit up with Haddon to-night. You two must go to bed at once—I
-insist upon it.”
-
-“Come, Beatrice,” said Monica, holding out her hand. “We must obey
-orders you see.”
-
-As they went together up the broad staircase, Beatrice said, with a
-little sob:
-
-“I cannot bear to think of our giving you all this trouble—just now.”
-
-But Monica stopped her by a kiss.
-
-“Have you not learned by this time Beatrice, that the greatest help in
-bearing our own sorrows is to help others with their burdens? I am
-grieved for you, dear, that this other trouble should have come; but
-Tom is very clever, and we will all nurse him back to health again.
-Good-night, dearest. You must try to sleep, that you may be strong
-to-morrow.”
-
-The next day Lord Haddon was very ill—dangerously ill—the fever
-ran very high, other unfavourable symptoms had showed themselves.
-Tom’s face was grave and absorbed, and Raymond, who came over at
-his brother’s request, looked even more anxious. Yet possibly this
-alarming illness of a guest beneath her roof was the very best thing
-that could have happened, as far as Monica herself was concerned. But
-for his illness, Beatrice and her brother must have left Trevlyn at
-once; it was probable that Monica would have elected to remain there
-entirely alone during the early days of her widowhood, alone in her own
-desolation, more heart-breaking to witness than any wild abandonment
-of grief, alone without even those last melancholy offices to perform,
-without even the solemn pageantry of a funeral to give some little
-occupation to the mind, or to bring home in its own incontrovertible
-way the fact that a loved being has passed away from the world for ever.
-
-Randolph had, as it were, vanished from this life almost as if spirited
-away. There was nothing to be done, no obsequies to be performed. For
-just a few days a faint glimmer of hope existed in some minds that a
-passing vessel might have picked him up, that a telegram announcing his
-safety might yet arrive; but at the end of a week every spark of such
-hope had died out, and Monica, who had never from the first allowed
-herself to be so buoyed up, put on her heavy widow’s weeds with the
-steady unflinching calmness that had characterised her throughout.
-
-She devoted herself to the task of nursing Lord Haddon, in which task
-she showed untiring care and skill. All agreed that it was best for
-her to have her thoughts and attention occupied in some quiet labour
-of love like this, and certainly her skill at this time was such as to
-render her services almost invaluable to the patient.
-
-Haddon lay for weeks in a very critical state, racked with pain and
-burning with fever. Without being always delirious, he was not in any
-way master of himself, and no one could soothe, or quiet, or compose
-him, during these long, weary days, except Monica. She seemed to
-possess a power that acted upon him like a charm. He might not always
-know her—very often he did not appear to recognise her, but he always
-felt her influence. At her bidding he would cease the restless tossing
-and muttering that exhausted his strength and gave him much needless
-pain. He would take from her hand food that no one else could persuade
-him to touch. She could often soothe him to sleep, simply by the sound
-of her voice, or the touch of her hand upon his burning brow.
-
-“If he pulls through it will be your doing,” Tom sometimes said to
-her. And Monica felt she could not do enough for the youth, who had
-suffered all this in carrying out her husband’s last command, and who
-had succumbed when his task was done, in hearing of the fate that had
-befallen his friend.
-
-A curious bond seemed established between those two, the power of which
-he felt with a throb of keen joy almost akin to pain, when at last the
-fever was subdued, and he began to know in a feeble, uncertain sort of
-fashion, what it was that had happened, and how life had been going
-with him during the past weeks.
-
-It was of Monica he asked the account of that terrible night, and from
-her lips he learned the story to which none else had dared to allude
-in her presence. It was he who talked to her of Randolph, recalled
-incidents of the past, talked of their boyish days and the escapades
-they had indulged together, passing on to the increase of mutual
-understanding and affection that had bound them together as manhood
-advanced.
-
-Nobody else talked to her like this. Haddon never could have done so,
-had not weakness and illness brought them into such close communion
-one with another. His feelings towards Monica were those of simple
-adoration—he worshipped the very ground she trod on. He often felt
-that to die with her hand upon his head, her eyes looking gently and
-kindly into his, was all and more than he could wish. His intense
-loving devotion gave him a sort of insight into her true nature, and he
-knew by instinct that he did not hurt her when he talked to her of him
-who was gone. Perhaps from no other lips could Monica have borne that
-name to be spoken just then; but Haddon in his hours of wandering had
-talked so much of Randolph, that she had grown used to hear him speak
-of the husband she had loved and lost, and she knew by the way in which
-he had betrayed himself then how deeply and truly he loved him.
-
-When the fever had gone, and the patient lay white and weak, hardly
-able to move or speak, yet with a mind cleared from the haunting
-shadows of delirium, eager to know the history of all that had passed,
-it had not seemed very hard then, in answer to the wistful look in the
-big grey eyes, and the whispered words from the pale lips to tell him
-all the truth; and the ice once broken thus, it had been no effort to
-talk of Randolph afterwards, and to let Haddon talk of him too.
-
-This outlet did her good. She was not a woman to whom talking was
-a necessity, yet it was better for her to speak sometimes of the
-sorrow that was weighing upon her crushed spirit; and it was far, far
-easier to do this to a listener like Haddon, who from his weakness
-and prostration could rise to no great heights of sympathy, could
-offer no attempt at consolation, could only look at her with wistful
-earnestness, and murmur a broken word from time to time, than it would
-have been to those who would have met her with a burst of tears, or
-with those quiet caresses and marks of sympathy that must surely have
-broken down her hardly-won composure and calm.
-
-So this illness of Haddon’s had really been a boon to her, and perhaps
-to others as well; but for a few weeks Monica’s life seemed passed in
-a sort of dream, and she was able to notice but little that passed
-around her. She was wrapped in a strange trance—she lived in the past
-with her husband, who sometimes hardly seemed to have left her. Only
-when ministering to the needs of the young earl did she arouse herself
-from her waking dream, and even then it sometimes seemed as if the
-dream were the reality, and the reality a dream.
-
-Tom was a great deal at Trevlyn just now. For a long time Haddon’s
-condition was so exceedingly critical that his presence was almost a
-necessity, and when the patient gradually became convalescent, Monica
-needed his help in getting through the business formalities that began
-to crowd upon her when all hopes of Randolph’s rescue became a thing of
-the past.
-
-Monica was happy at least in this—there was no need for her to leave
-her old home—no new earl to claim Trevlyn, and banish her from the
-place she loved best in the world. The Trevlyns were a dying race, as
-it seemed. Randolph and Monica were the last of their name, and the
-entail expired with him. Trevlyn was hers, as well as all her husband’s
-property. She was a rich woman, but in the first instance it was
-difficult to understand the position, and she naturally turned in her
-perplexity to Tom Pendrill, who was a thorough man of business, shrewd
-and hard-headed, and who, from his long acquaintance and connection
-with Trevlyn, understood more about the estate than anybody else she
-could have selected. He was very good to her, as she always said.
-He put himself entirely at her disposal, and played the part of a
-kind and wise brother. His dry, matter-of-fact manner of dealing with
-transfer of property, and such-like matters, was in itself a comfort.
-She was never afraid of talking things over with him. He kept sentiment
-studiously and entirely in the back-ground. Although she knew perfectly
-that his sympathy for her was very great, he never obtruded it upon her
-in the least; it was offered and accepted in perfect silence on both
-sides.
-
-Mrs. Pendrill, too, was a good deal at Trevlyn. She yearned over Monica
-in the days of her early widowhood, and she had grown very fond of
-Beatrice and her brother. Haddon wanted so very much care and nursing
-that Mrs. Pendrill’s presence in the house was often a help to all.
-Whilst Monica was in the sick room, she and Beatrice spent many long
-hours together, and strange intimacy of thought sprang up between those
-two who were so far from each other in age and position. Haddon, too,
-was fond of the gentle-faced old lady, and he loved sometimes to get
-her all to herself, and make her talk to him of Monica.
-
-His illness had left its traces upon the earl. He had, despite his
-five-and-twenty years, seemed but a lad all this while; but when he
-left his bed, it was curious to see how much of boyishness had passed
-out of his face, how much quiet, thoughtful manliness had taken its
-place.
-
-Nobody quite knew how or why this change had been so marked. Perhaps
-the shock of his friend’s death had had something to do with it:
-perhaps the danger he had himself been in. Very near indeed to the
-gates of death had the young man stood. He had almost trodden the
-shadowy valley, even though his steps had been retraced to the land of
-the living. Perhaps it was this knowledge that made him pass as it were
-in one bound from boyhood to manhood—or was there some other cause at
-work?
-
-His face wore a look of curious purpose and resolution, oddly combined
-with a sort of mute, determined patience: his pale, sharpened face,
-that had changed so much during the past weeks, was changed in
-expression even more than in contour. His grey eyes, once always full
-of boyish merriment and laughter, were grave and earnest now: the eyes
-of a man full of thought, expressive of a hidden yet resolute purpose.
-These hollow eyes followed Monica about with unconscious persistency,
-and rested upon her with a sense of perfect content. When he grew a
-little stronger, and could just rise from the sofa and trail himself
-across the room, it was strange to mark how eager he was to render her
-those little instinctive attentions that come naturally from a man to a
-woman.
-
-Sometimes Monica would accept them with a smile, oftener she would
-restrain him with a gentle commanding gesture, and bid him keep quiet
-till he was stronger; but she accepted his chivalrous admiration in
-the spirit in which it was offered, and let him look upon himself as
-her especial knight, as well he might, since to her skill and care Tom
-plainly told him he owed his life.
-
-She let him talk to her of Randolph, though none of the others dared to
-breathe that name. Sometimes she played to him in the dimness of the
-music-room—and even he hardly knew how privileged he was to be admitted
-there. She regarded him in the light of a loved brother, and felt
-tenderly towards him, as one who had done and suffered much in the same
-cause that had cost her gallant husband his life. What he felt towards
-her would be more difficult to analyse. At present he simply worshipped
-her, with a humble, devout singleness of purpose that elevated his
-whole nature. The vague, fleeting, distant hope that some day it might
-be given to him to comfort her had hardly yet entered into the region
-of conscious thought.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH
-
-HAUNTED.
-
-
-Christmas had come and gone whilst Lord Haddon lay hovering between
-life and death. As the year turned, he began to regain health and
-strength; but his progress was exceedingly slow, and all idea of
-leaving Trevlyn was for the present entirely out of the question. A
-journey in mid-winter was not to be thought of. It would be enough to
-bring the whole illness back again; and Monica would not listen when he
-sometimes said, with diffidence and appeal, that he feared they were
-encroaching too much upon her hospitality and goodness. In truth,
-neither brother nor sister were in haste to leave Trevlyn, or to leave
-Monica alone in her desolate widowhood; and as Haddon’s state of health
-rendered a move out of the question, the situation was accepted with
-the more readiness.
-
-Monica was able now to resume something of the even tenor of her
-way, to take up her daily round of duties, and shape out her life in
-accordance with her strangely altered circumstances.
-
-All the old sense of dread connected with the sea had now vanished
-entirely. It never frowned upon her now. It was her friend always—the
-haunting presentiment of dread had passed away with the actual
-certainty. Henceforward nothing could hold for her any great measure of
-terror. She had passed through the very worst already.
-
-Sometimes Monica had a strange feeling that she was not alone during
-her favourite twilight pacings by the sea. She had a sense of being
-watched—followed—and the uneasiness of the dogs added to this
-impression. It troubled her but little, however. She had no fears for
-herself—she knew, too, that she was a little fanciful, and that it was
-hardly likely in reality that her footsteps were dogged.
-
-But one dim January evening, as she pursued her way along the margin
-of the sea, she was startled by seeing some large object lying dark
-upon the pebbly beach. Her heart beat more fast than was its wont, for
-she saw as she approached that it was the figure of a man, lying face
-downwards upon the damp stones.
-
-He did not look like a fisherman, he was too well dressed, and there
-seemed something not altogether unfamiliar in the aspect of the
-slight, well-proportioned figure. For a moment she could not recall
-the association, but as the dogs ran up snuffing and growling, the
-man started and sat up, revealing the pale, haggard face of Conrad
-Fitzgerald.
-
-Monica recoiled with an instinctive gesture of aversion. She had not
-seen him since those summer days when she had been haunted by the
-vision of his vindictive face and sinister eyes. But how he had changed
-since then! She could not help looking at him, he was so pale, so thin;
-his face was lined as if by pain, and his fiery eyes were set in deep
-hollows. There was something rather awful in his appearance, yet he did
-not look so wicked, so repulsive, as he had done many times before.
-
-A strange look of terror gleamed in his eyes as they met those of
-Monica.
-
-“Go away!” he cried wildly. “What do you come here for? Why do you look
-at me like that? Go—in mercy, go!”
-
-Monica was startled at his wild words and looks. Surely he was mad. But
-if so, she must show no fear of him; she knew enough to be aware of
-that.
-
-“What are you doing out here in the dark?” she said. “You ought not to
-be lying there this cold night. You had better go home, or you will
-lose your way in the dark.”
-
-He laughed wildly.
-
-“Lose my way in the dark! It is always dark now—always, since that dark
-night—ha! ha!—that night!” His laugh was terrible in its wild despair.
-“Why do you look at me? Why do you speak to me? You should not! You
-should not! You would not if——oh, God! are you a ghost too?”
-
-Such an awful look of horror shone out of his eyes that Monica’s blood
-ran cold. His gaze was fixed on vacancy. He looked straight at her, yet
-as if he did not see her, but something beyond. The anguish and despair
-painted upon that wild, yet still beautiful, face smote Monica’s heart
-with a sense of deep sorrow and pity.
-
-“I am no ghost, Conrad,” she answered gently, trying if the sound of
-the old name would drive that wild madness out of his eyes. “Why are
-you afraid? What are you looking at? There is nothing there.”
-
-For his eyes were still glaring wildly into the darkness beyond, and as
-Monica spoke he lifted his arm, and pointed to something out at sea.
-
-“Don’t look at me!” he whispered hoarsely, yet not as if he addressed
-Monica. “Don’t speak to me! If you speak, I shall go mad! I shall go
-mad, I say! Why do you haunt me so? Why do you look always like that?
-I had a right—all is fair in love and war—and hate! Why did you give
-me the chance? I had a vow—a vow in heaven—or hell! Ah! ha! Revenge is
-sweet, after all!” and he burst into a wild, discordant laugh, dreadful
-to hear.
-
-Monica shuddered, a sense of horror creeping over her. She did
-not catch the whole of his words, lost as that hoarse whisper was
-sometimes in the sullen plash of the advancing waves. The words were
-not addressed to her, but to some imaginary object visible only to the
-eye of madness. She attached no meaning to what she heard. She had
-no clue by which to unravel the workings of his disordered mind. Yet
-it was terrible to see his terror-stricken face, and listen to the
-exclamations addressed to a phantom foe. She tried to recall him to
-himself.
-
-“Conrad, there is no one here but ourselves. You have been dreaming.”
-
-Conrad turned his wild eyes towards her, but continued to point wildly
-over the sea.
-
-“Can you not see him? There—out there! His head—his eyes—ah, those
-eyes!—as he looked _then_—then! Ah, don’t look so at me, I say! You
-will kill me!”
-
-He buried his face in his hands and shuddered from head to foot.
-Monica, despite the shiver of horror that crept over her, felt more
-strongly than anything else a deep pity for one whose mind was so
-visibly shattered. Much of the past could be condoned to one whose
-mental faculties were so terribly unstrung. She came one step nearer,
-and laid her hand upon his arm.
-
-“You should not be out here alone,” she said. “You had better go home.
-It is growing dark already. If you will come with me to the lodge,
-I will see that you have a lantern; or, if you like, I will send a
-servant with a lantern with you.” She felt, indeed, that he was hardly
-in a condition to be out alone. She wished Tom Pendrill could see him
-now. But at the touch of her hand Conrad sprang back as if she had
-struck him. His eyes were full of shrinking horror.
-
-“Go away!” he said fiercely, “your hand burns me—it burns me, I say!
-How can you look at me or touch me? What have I done that you come here
-day by day to torment me? Is it not enough that _he_ leaves me no peace
-night or day?—that he brings me down to this cursed place, whether I
-will or no, but you must haunt me too? Ah, it is too much—it is too
-much, I say!”
-
-She could not catch all these rapidly-uttered words, but she read the
-hopeless misery of his face.
-
-“I do not wish to distress you, Conrad. Will you go home quietly now?
-You are not well; you should not be out here alone. Have you anybody
-there to take care of you?”
-
-He laughed again, and flung his arms above his head with a wild gesture
-of despair.
-
-“You say this to me—you! you! It only wanted this. My God, this is too
-much!”
-
-He turned from her and sprang away in the darkness. She heard his steps
-as he dashed recklessly up the cliff path—so recklessly that she half
-expected to hear the sound of a slip and a fall—and then as he reached
-the summit and turned inland, they died away into silence.
-
-Monica drew a long breath of relief when she found herself alone.
-There was something expressibly awful in talking alone to a madman in
-the dimness of the dying day, in hearing his wild words addressed to
-some phantom shadow seen only by his disordered vision. She shivered
-a little as she turned towards him. She could stay no longer in that
-lonely place.
-
-She met Tom looking out for her on her return. He said something about
-her staying out too long in the darkness. She laid her hand upon his
-arm, and pacing up and down the dark avenue, she told him of her
-adventure with the madman.
-
-“Tom, I am certain he ought to see a doctor. Will you not see if you
-can do something for him?”
-
-She could not see the expression of Tom’s face. Had she been able to
-do so, she would have been startled. His voice was very cold as he
-answered:
-
-“I am not a lunacy commissioner, Monica.”
-
-She was surprised, and a little hurt.
-
-“You are very hard, Tom. You saw him once before, why not again?”
-
-“If he, or his friends for him, require medical advice, I suppose they
-are capable of sending for it,” he said, adding with sudden fierceness,
-as it seemed to her, “Monica, Conrad Fitzgerald, ill or well, is
-nothing to you. It is not fit you should waste a single thought upon
-that scoundrel again!”
-
-She was surprised at his vehemence; it was so unlike Tom to speak with
-heat. What had there been in her account of the meeting to discompose
-him so greatly? Before she could attempt to frame the question, he had
-asked one of her—asked it abruptly, as it seemed irrelevantly.
-
-“How long has Fitzgerald been in these parts?”
-
-“I don’t know? I have never seen him till to-night, nor heard of him at
-all?”
-
-“Nor I. Go in, Monica. It is too late for you to be out.”
-
-“And you?”
-
-“I will come presently.”
-
-“And you will think about what I asked you?”
-
-“I will think about it—yes.”
-
-The tone was enigmatic. She could not make Tom out at all, but she went
-in at his bidding. She knew that he wished to be alone, that he had
-something disturbing upon his mind, though what it was she could not
-divine.
-
-Tom, as it turned out, had no choice in the matter; for his brother
-sent to him next day a message to the effect that Fitzgerald’s servant
-had been to him with a very sad account of his master, who seemed to be
-suffering under an acute attack of delirium tremens. Raymond thought
-his brother, who had seen him once before, had better go the next day
-in a casual sort of way, and see if he could do anything. Fitzgerald
-was furious at the idea of having a doctor near him; but possibly he
-would not regard Tom in that light, and the servants would do all they
-could to obtain for him access to their master. They were terrified at
-his ravings, and half afraid he would do himself or them an injury if
-not placed under proper control.
-
-So Tom, upon the following afternoon, started for the old dilapidated
-house, without saying a word to anyone as to his destination, and was
-eagerly admitted by a haggard-looking servant, who said that his master
-was “terrible bad to-day—it was awful like to hear him go on,” and
-expressed it as his opinion that he was almost past knowing who was
-near him, he was so wild and delirious. He had kept his bed for the
-past two days, having been very ill since coming in, wet and exhausted,
-on the night Monica had seen him. Between the attacks of delirium he
-was as weak as a child; and with this much of warning and explanation,
-Tom was ushered upstairs.
-
-An hour later he left that desolate house with a quick, firm tread,
-that broke, as he turned a corner and was concealed from view, almost
-to a run. His face was very pale; it looked thinner and sharper than
-it had done an hour before, and his eyes were full of an unspeakable
-horror. Now and again a sort of shudder ran through his frame; but
-no word passed his tightly-compressed lips. He hurried through the
-tangled park as if some deadly malaria lurked there. He hardly drew his
-breath until he had left the trees and brake behind, and had plunged
-into the wild trackless moor; even then, goaded by his thoughts, he
-plunged blindly along for a mile or more, until at last, breathless and
-exhausted, he sank face downwards upon the heather, trembling in every
-limb.
-
-How long he lay there he never knew. He was roused at last by a touch
-upon his shoulder, and raising himself with a start, he looked straight
-into the startled eyes of Beatrice Wentworth.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.
-
-LOVERS.
-
-
-Tom sprang to his feet, and the two stood gazing at one another for a
-moment in mute surprise.
-
-“You are ill,” said Beatrice; “you are as white as a sheet. What is the
-matter?”
-
-She spoke anxiously. She looked half frightened at his strange looks;
-he saw it, and recovered himself instantly. It was perhaps the first
-time he had ever been taken unawares, and he was not altogether pleased
-that it had happened now.
-
-“What are you doing out here all alone?” he asked peremptorily.
-
-“What are you doing lying on the ground on a cold January evening?” she
-retorted. “Do you want to get rheumatic fever, too?”
-
-“Answer my question first. What are you doing out here, miles away from
-home, with the darkness coming on, too?”
-
-“I lost my way,” she answered carelessly. “I never can keep my bearings
-in these strange, wild places, where everything looks alike.”
-
-“Then I must take you home,” said Tom shortly.
-
-“You said you were going to dine at St. Maws to-night,” she objected.
-
-“I shall take you home first,” he said.
-
-“It will be ever so much out of your road. Just show me the way. I
-shall find it fast enough.”
-
-“I dare say—After having lost it in broad daylight. You must come with
-me. I cannot trust you.”
-
-Beatrice flushed hotly as she turned and walked beside him. Was more
-meant than met the ear?
-
-“There is not the least need you should,” she said haughtily, and
-seemed disposed to say no more.
-
-Tom spoke first, spoke in his abrupt peremptory fashion. He was
-absorbed and distrait. She tried not to feel disappointed at his words.
-
-“Lady Beatrice, is it true that you knew Randolph Trevlyn intimately
-for many years?”
-
-“Ever since I can remember. He was almost like a brother to us.”
-
-“Do you know if he ever had an enemy?”
-
-Beatrice looked up quickly into his pale face.
-
-“Why do you ask?”
-
-“That is my affair. I do not ask without a reason. Think before you
-answer—if you can.”
-
-“Randolph was always such a favourite,” she began, but was interrupted
-by a quick impatient gesture from Tom.
-
-“Don’t chatter,” he said, almost rudely, “think!”
-
-Oddly enough this brusque reminder did not offend her. She saw that
-Tom’s nerves were all on edge, that they were strung to a painful
-pitch of tension. She began to catch some of his earnestness and
-determination.
-
-Beatrice was taken out of herself, and from that moment her manner
-changed for the better. She thought the matter over in silence.
-
-“I have heard that Sir Conrad Fitzgerald had an old grudge against him.”
-
-“Ah!” breathed Tom softly.
-
-“But I fancied, perhaps, that Monica’s influence had made them friends.
-Randolph knew some disreputable story connected with Sir Conrad’s past
-life—Haddon knows more about it than I do—and he always hated him for
-it.”
-
-“Ah!” said Tom again.
-
-“Why do you ask?” questioned Beatrice again; but he gave her no answer.
-He was wrapped in deep thought. She looked at him once or twice, but
-said no more. He was the first to speak, and the question was a little
-significant.
-
-“You were down on the shore with Monica and Trevlyn that night, were
-you not?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Was Fitzgerald there, too?”
-
-She looked at him with startled eyes.
-
-“No; certainly not.”
-
-“Can you be sure of that? Was there moon enough to show plainly
-everything that went on?”
-
-Beatrice put up her hand to her head.
-
-“No,” she answered. “I ought not to have spoken so positively. It was
-too dark to see anything. There might have been dozens of people there
-whom I might never have seen. I was much too anxious and excited
-to keep a sharp look-out—why should I?—and there was not a gleam of
-moonlight till many minutes after the boat got back, and the confusion
-was very great all the time. Why do you talk so? Why do you ask such a
-question?”
-
-She spoke with subdued excitement and insistance.
-
-“_Somebody_ was in that boat unknown to the crew,” he answered
-significantly.
-
-“Was there?”
-
-“Somebody steered the boat to shore. You do not share, I presume, in
-the popular belief of the phantom coxswain?”
-
-Beatrice stopped short, trembling and scared.
-
-“You think——?” but she could only get out those two words; she knew not
-how to frame the question.
-
-He bent his head. “I do.”
-
-But she put out her hand with a quick, passionate gesture, as if
-fighting with some hideous phantom.
-
-“Ah! no! no! It could not be. It would be too unspeakably awful—too
-horrible! How do you know? How can you say such things? What has put
-such a hideous thought into your mind?”
-
-“I came from standing by Fitzgerald’s bed, listening to his words of
-wandering, his delirious outbursts. It is plain enough what phantoms
-are haunting him now—what pictures he is seeing, as he lies in the
-stupor of drink and opium. He is trying to drown thought and remorse,
-but he has not succeeded yet.”
-
-Beatrice shuddered strongly, and faltered a little in her walk. Tom
-took her hand and placed it within his arm.
-
-“You are tired, Beatrice?”
-
-“No; but it is so awful. Tom”—calling him so as unconsciously as he had
-called her Beatrice—“must Monica know this? Oh! it was cruel enough
-before—but this——”
-
-“She shall never know,” said Tom quickly. “To what end should we add
-this burden to what she carries now? No one could prove it—it may be
-nothing more than some sick fancy, engendered by the thought of what
-might have been. Mind you, I have no moral doubts myself; but the man
-is practically mad, and no confession or evidence given by him would be
-accepted. He has fulfilled his vow—he has murdered—practically murdered
-his foe; but Monica must be spared the knowledge: she must never know.”
-
-“No, never! never!” cried Beatrice; and her voice expressed so much
-feeling, that Tom turned and looked at her in the fading light.
-
-“Have you a heart after all, Beatrice?” he asked.
-
-She made no answer; her heart beat wildly, answering in its own fashion
-the question asked, but not in a way that he could hear.
-
-“Beatrice,” rather fiercely, “why did you not marry the marquis?”
-
-“Because I loathed him.”
-
-“You did not always loathe him?”
-
-“I did, I did, always.”
-
-“You flirted with him disgracefully, then.”
-
-She looked up with something of pleading in her dark eyes.
-
-“I was but eighteen.”
-
-“Do you never flirt now?”
-
-She looked up again, her eyes flashing strangely.
-
-“What right have you to ask such a question?”
-
-“The right of the man who loves you,” he answered, in the same
-half-fierce, half-bitter way—“who loves you with every fibre of his
-being; and although he has proved you vain and frivolous and heartless
-once and again, cannot tear your image from his heart. Do not think
-I am complaining. I suppose you have a right to please yourself; but
-sometimes I feel as if no man had ever been treated so abominably as I
-have been by you.”
-
-“You by me!” she answered, panting in her excitement, “when it was you
-who left me in a fury, without one word of farewell.”
-
-“I thought I had had my _congé_ pretty distinctly.”
-
-“You had had nothing of the kind—nothing but a few wild confused
-words from a mere child, frightened and bewildered by happiness and
-nervousness into the silliest of speeches a silly girl could make at
-such a moment. But you cannot understand—you never will—you are made of
-stone, I think.”
-
-He turned upon her quickly.
-
-“I wish I were, sometimes,” he said; “I wish it when I am near you. You
-make me love you—I am powerless in your hands, and you—you——”
-
-“I love you with all my heart. I have never loved anybody else, and you
-have behaved cruelly, disgracefully to me always.” The words came all
-at once in one vehement burst of passion.
-
-He stopped short, wheeled round, and stood facing her. He could only
-just see her face as they stood thus in the gathering dusk.
-
-“Beatrice,” he said, slowly, “what did you say just now? Say it again.”
-
-Defiance shone out of her eyes.
-
-“I will not!” she said, her cheeks flaming.
-
-He took both her hands in his and held them hard.
-
-“Yes you will,” he answered. “Say it again.”
-
-She was panting with a strange mixture of feeling; the earth and sky
-seemed to spin round together.
-
-“Say it again, Beatrice.”
-
-“I said—I loved you; but I don’t—I will never, never say it again——”
-
-She got no farther, for he held her so closely in his arms that all
-speech was impossible for the moment.
-
-“That will do,” he answered. “I don’t want you to say it again. Once is
-enough.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“Monica,” said Beatrice in the softest of whispers as she came into the
-quiet room where her brother lay asleep upon the sofa, and Monica sat
-dreaming beside the fire. “Ah, Monica, Monica!” and then she stopped
-short, kneeling down, and turning her quivering face and swimming eyes
-towards the face bent tenderly over her.
-
-Somehow it was never needful to say much to Monica. She always
-understood without many words. She bent her head now, and kissed
-Beatrice.
-
-“Is it so, then, dear?” she asked.
-
-“Did you know?”
-
-“I knew what you told me yourself, and I could see for myself that he
-had not forgotten any more than you.”
-
-“I did not see it.”
-
-“Possibly not—neither did he; but sometimes love is very blind—and very
-wilful too.”
-
-Was there a touch of tender reproach in the tone? Beatrice looked at
-her earnestly.
-
-“I know what you mean,” she said. “We both want to be master; but I
-think—I am afraid—he will have the upper hand now.”
-
-But the smile that quivered over the upturned face was full of such
-sweetness and brightness that Monica kissed her again.
-
-“You will not find him such a tyrant as he professes to be. Tom is very
-generous and unselfish, despite his affectation of cynicism. I am so
-glad you have made him happy at last. I am so glad that our paths in
-life will not lie very widely apart.”
-
-Beatrice took Monica’s hand and kissed it.
-
-“I am so happy,” she said simply. “And I owe it all to you.”
-
-Monica caressed the dark head laid against her knee, as Beatrice
-subsided into her favourite lowly position at Monica’s feet. Presently
-she became aware that the girl’s tears were falling fast.
-
-“Crying, dearest?” she questioned gently.
-
-A stifled sob was the answer.
-
-“What is the matter, my child?”
-
-“Randolph!” was all that Beatrice could get out. Somehow the desolation
-of Monica’s life had never come home to her with quite the same sense
-of realisation as now, in the hour of her deepest happiness.
-
-“He would be glad,” answered Monica, steadily and sweetly. “He loved
-you dearly, Beatrice; and he and Tom were always such friends. It was
-his hope that all would come right. If he can see us now, as I often
-think he can, he will be rejoicing in your happiness now. You must shed
-no tears to-night, dearest, unless they are tears of happiness.”
-
-Beatrice suddenly half rose, and hung her arms round Monica.
-
-“How can you bear it? How can you bear it? Monica, I think you are an
-angel. No one in this wide world was ever like you. And to think——” she
-shuddered strongly and stopped short.
-
-“You are excited and over-wrought,” said Monica gently. “You must not
-let yourself be knocked up, or Tom will scold me when he comes back.
-See, Haddon is waking up. He had such a bad headache, poor boy; I hope
-he has slept it off. You must tell him the news—it will please him I am
-sure.”
-
-“You tell him,” whispered Beatrice, and slipped away to relieve her
-over-burdened heart by a burst of tears; for one strange revelation
-following upon another had tried her more than she had known at the
-time.
-
-Haddon was quietly pleased at the news. He liked Tom; he had fancied
-that he and Beatrice were not altogether indifferent to each other, so
-this conclusion did not take him altogether by surprise. He was sorry
-to think of losing Beatrice, but not as perplexed as he would have been
-some months before. Life looked different to him now—more serious and
-earnest. He began to have aspirations of his own. He no longer regarded
-existence as a sort of pleasant easy game of play.
-
-Certainly it seemed as if the course of true love as regarded Beatrice
-and Tom, after passing its early shoals and quicksands, were to run
-quietly and smoothly enough now. He came back from St. Maws in time for
-dinner, and when dessert was put on the table, he announced his plans
-with the hardihood characteristic of the man.
-
-“Aunt Elizabeth is delighted, Beatrice, and so is Raymond,” he said.
-“I have told them that we will be married almost at once, within two
-months, at least—oh, you needn’t look like that. I think I’ve waited
-long enough—pretty well as long as Jacob——”
-
-“Did for Leah—and didn’t like her in the end—don’t make that your
-precedent.”
-
-“Well, don’t interrupt,” proceeded Tom imperturbably. “We’ve got
-it all beautifully arranged. I’m going to take part of the regular
-practice, as Raymond has always been bothering me to do ever since
-it increased so much, and we’re to have half the house for our
-establishment, and he and Aunt Elizabeth the other. It was originally
-two houses, and lends itself excellently to that arrangement, though I
-dare say practically we shall be all one household, as you and our aunt
-have managed to hit it off so well. Monica, can’t Beatrice be married
-from Trevlyn when Haddon is well enough to give her away? It would
-save a lot of bother. I hate flummery, and I’m sure she does too. Come
-now, Beatrice, don’t laugh. Don’t you think that would be an excellent
-arrangement? Here we are; what is the good of getting all split up
-again? You’ll be losing your heart to another marquis if I let you out
-of my sight.”
-
-Her eyes were dancing with mischievous merriment. She was more than
-ready to enter the lists.
-
-“Just listen to the tyrant—trying to keep me a prisoner already! trying
-to take everything into his own hands—and not content without adding
-insult to injury!”
-
-His eyes too were alight; but his mouth was grim.
-
-“I have not forgotten how you served me last time, my lady.”
-
-“At Oxford?”
-
-“At Oxford.”
-
-“Monica, listen. I will tell you how I served him. I had eyes for no
-one but him, silly girl that I was; I was with him morning, noon and
-night. Child as I was at the time, careless and inexperienced, even
-_I_ was absolutely ashamed at the open preference I showed him; I blush
-even now to think of the undisguised way in which I flung myself at
-a particularly hard head. And yet he pretends he did not understand!
-If that is so, then for real, downright, hopeless stupidity and
-obtuseness, commend me to an Oxford double-first-class-man!”
-
-Beatrice might get the best of it in an encounter of tongues, but Tom
-had his own way in the settlement of their affairs, possibly because
-her resistance was but a pretence. What, indeed, had they to wait for,
-when they had been waiting so many long years for one another?
-
-Nothing clouded the horizon of their happiness. Even the hideous shadow
-which had been in a sense the means of bringing them together seemed
-to have vanished with the sudden disappearance of Conrad Fitzgerald
-from the neighbourhood. Upon the very day following Tom’s visit to
-him, he left his house, ill and weak as he was, to join his sister at
-Mentone. His servant accompanied him. The desolate house was shut up
-once more, and Tom Pendrill sincerely hoped that the haunting baleful
-influence of that wild and wicked nature had passed from their lives
-for ever.
-
-And Beatrice after all was married at Trevlyn, in the little cliff
-church that had seen the hands of Randolph and Monica joined in
-wedlock. She resisted a good while, feeling afraid that it would be
-painful to Monica—a second wedding, and that within a few months of her
-own widowhood. But Monica took part with Tom, and the bride elect gave
-way, only too delighted at heart to be with Monica to the very last.
-
-It was a very quiet wedding—as quiet as Monica’s own—even the people
-gathered together in the little church had hardly changed. Only one
-short year had passed since Monica in her snowy robes had stood before
-that little altar, with the marriage vow upon her lips—only a year ago,
-and now?
-
-Yet Monica’s face was very calm and sweet. She shed no tears, she
-seemed to have no sad thoughts for herself, however others might feel.
-One pair of grey eyes seldom wandered from her face as the simple
-ceremonies of the day proceeded. One heart was far more occupied with
-thoughts of the pale-faced widow than of the blooming bride.
-
-Haddon quitted Trevlyn almost immediately after his sister. The words
-of thanks he tried to speak faltered on his tongue, and would not come.
-
-Monica understood, and answered by one of her sweetest smiles.
-
-“You were Randolph’s friend; you are my friend now. You must not try
-to thank me. I am so very glad to think of the link that binds us
-together. I shall not lose sight of you whilst Beatrice is so near. You
-will come again some day?”
-
-“Yes, Lady Trevlyn,” he answered quietly, “I will come again;” and he
-raised the hand he held for one moment very reverently to his lips.
-
-As he drove away he looked back, and saw Monica still standing upon the
-terrace.
-
-“Yes,” he said quietly to himself, “I will come back—some day.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.
-
-“AS WE FORGIVE.”
-
-
-A year had passed away since that fatal night when Randolph had left
-his wife standing on the shore—had gone away in the darkness and had
-returned no more: a year had passed, with its chequered lights and
-shades, but the anniversary of her husband’s death found Monica, as he
-had left her, at Trevlyn—alone.
-
-Many things had happened during that year. Beatrice had married and
-settled happily in the picturesque red house at St. Maws as Tom
-Pendrill’s loving, brilliant wife. Monica had been to Germany once
-again, to assure herself with her own eyes of the truth of the
-favourable reports sent to her. She had had the satisfaction of seeing
-how great an improvement had taken place in Arthur’s condition; that
-although the cure was slow—would most likely need a second, possibly
-even a third year before it would be absolutely complete, yet it was
-practically certain, if he and those who held his fate in their hands
-would but have patience and perseverance. The boy was quite happy in
-the establishment of which he was a member. He had gone through the
-most trying part of the treatment, and was enthusiastic about the
-kindness and skill of his doctor. He had made many friends, and had
-quite lost the home-sickness that had occasionally troubled him at
-first. He was delighted to see Monica again. He was insistant that she
-should come to see him often; but he did not even wish to return to
-Trevlyn till he could do so whole and sound, as a man in good health
-and strength, instead of a helpless invalid.
-
-Monica was summoned from Germany by the news of the dangerous illness
-of Lady Diana, who died only a few days after the arrival of her niece.
-She had been talking of making a permanent home at Trevlyn now that
-Monica was so utterly alone, but her death stopped all such schemes;
-and so it came about that in absolute solitude the young widowed
-countess took up her abode for the winter in the great silent castle
-beside the sea.
-
-The sea still exercised its old fascination over Monica. Her happiest
-hours were spent wandering by its brink or riding along the breezy
-cliff. It was a friend indeed to her in those days, it frowned upon her
-no more. It had done its worst already—it had taken away the light of
-her life. Might it not be possible—was there not something of promise
-in its eternal music? Could it be that in some unexpected, mysterious
-way it would bring back some of the light that had been taken
-away—would be the means of uniting once again the hearts that had been
-so cruelly sundered? Strange thoughts and fancies flitted often through
-her brain, formless and indistinct, but comforting withal.
-
-Returning to the castle at dusk one day, after one of these solitary
-rambles, she found an unusual bustle and excitement stirring there.
-Wilberforce hurried forward to explain the cause of the unwonted
-tumult.
-
-“I hope I have not done wrong, my lady. You were not here to give
-orders, and I could only act as I felt you would wish. A lad came
-running in with a scared face not half an hour back, saying there was a
-man lying at the foot of the cliffs, as if he had fallen over. I scarce
-think he can be alive if that be so; but I told the men that if he
-was—as there is no other decent house near—I thought you would wish——”
-
-“That he should be brought here. Quite right, Wilberforce. Is there a
-room ready? Has Mr. Pendrill been sent for?”
-
-“The groom has gone this twenty minutes. Living or dead, he must have a
-doctor to him. The maids are getting the east room ready, yet I doubt
-if he can be living after such a fall.”
-
-“He may not have fallen over the cliff. He may have been scaling it,
-and have dropped from but a small height. See that everything likely to
-be needed is ready. He may be here almost immediately now.”
-
-She went up to the bed-room herself, to see if it were ready should
-there be need. It was probably only some poor tramp or fisherman who
-had met with the accident—no matter, he should be tended at Trevlyn, he
-should lie in its most comfortable guest-chamber, he should have every
-care that wealth could supply. Monica knew too well the dire results
-that might follow a slip down those hard, treacherous cliffs not to
-feel peculiarly tender and solicitous over another victim.
-
-The steady tramp of feet ascending the stairs and approaching the
-room where she stood, roused Monica to the knowledge that the injured
-man was not dead, and that they were bringing him up to be tended and
-nursed as she had directed. The door was pushed open; six men carried
-in their burden upon an improvised stretcher, and laid it just as it
-was upon the bed. Monica stepped forward, and then started, growing a
-little pale; for she recognised in the death-like rigid face before her
-the well-known countenance of Conrad Fitzgerald.
-
-She could not look without a shudder at that shattered frame,
-and Wilberforce shook her head gravely, marvelling that he yet
-breathed. None save professional hands dared touch him, so distorted
-and dislocated was every limb; and yet by one of those strange
-coincidences, not altogether uncommon in cases of accident, the
-beautiful face was entirely untouched, not marred by a scratch or
-contusion. Death-like unconsciousness had set its seal upon those
-chiselled, marble features, and had wiped from them every trace of
-passion or of vice.
-
-Tom Pendrill was amongst them long before they looked for him. He had
-met the messenger not far from Trevlyn, and had come at once. He turned
-Monica out of the room with a stern precipitancy that perplexed her
-somewhat, as did also the expression of his face, which she did not
-understand. He shut himself up with his patient, retaining the services
-of Wilberforce and one of the men.
-
-It was two hours before she saw him again.
-
-Monica wandered up and down the dark hall, revolving many things in
-her mind. What had brought Conrad so suddenly back at this melancholy
-time of the year? She had believed him abroad with his sister, with
-whom he seemed to have spent his time since his disappearance early in
-the spring. What had brought him back now? And why did he so haunt the
-frowning, treacherous cliffs of Trevlyn? Was he mad? But why did his
-madness always drive him to this spot? She asked many such questions of
-herself, but she could answer none of them.
-
-At last Tom came down. His face looked as if carved in flint. She could
-not read the meaning of his glance.
-
-“Is he dead?” she asked softly.
-
-“He cannot last long. If he has any relations near, they should be
-telegraphed for.”
-
-“His sister is in Italy, I believe. There is no one else that I know
-of.”
-
-“Then there is nothing to be done. He is sinking fast. He cannot live
-many hours. I doubt if he will last the night.”
-
-Monica’s face was pale and grave.
-
-“Poor Conrad!” she said, beneath her breath.
-
-Tom started, and made a quick movement as of repulsion.
-
-“No one could wish him to live,” he began, almost roughly; “he has
-hardly a whole bone in his body.”
-
-“Is he conscious?”
-
-“No, nor likely to be. It is not at all probable he will ever open his
-eyes again. He will most likely sink quietly, without a sound or a
-sign. I have done all I can for him. Somebody must be with him to watch
-him, I suppose. It can only be a question of hours now.” A dark cloud
-hung upon the doctor’s brow. His thoughts were preoccupied. Presently
-he spoke again—a sort of mutter between his teeth.
-
-“He ought not to be allowed to die here—under _this_ roof. It is
-monstrous—hateful to think of! Nothing can save him. Yet I suppose it
-would be murder to move him now.”
-
-Monica looked up quickly.
-
-“Move him! Tom, what are you thinking of?”
-
-“I know it cannot be done,” was the answer, spoken in a stern, dogged
-tone. “Yet I repeat what I said before: he ought not to be under this
-roof.”
-
-There was a gentle reproach in the look that Monica bent upon him.
-
-“My husband’s roof and mine will always be a refuge for any whose
-need is as sore as his. Sometimes I think, Tom, that you are the very
-hardest man I ever met. His life, I know, is terribly stained; yet it
-is not for us to judge him.”
-
-It seemed as if Tom were agitated. He gave no outward sign, but his
-face was pale, his manner curiously harsh and peremptory.
-
-“You do not know,” he said. “Your husband——”
-
-She stopped him by a gesture.
-
-“My husband would be the first to bid me return good for evil. You know
-Randolph very little if you do not know that. Conrad is dying, and
-death wipes out much. He is about to answer for his life to a higher
-tribunal than ours. Ah! let us not condemn him harshly. Have we not all
-our sins upon our heads? When my turn comes to answer for mine, let me
-not have this one added—that I hardened my heart against the dying, and
-denied the help and succour mutely asked at the last hour.”
-
-“Monica,” said Tom, with one of those swift changes that marked his
-manner when he was deeply moved, “were I worthy, I would kiss the hem
-of your garment. As it is, I can only say farewell. God be with you!”
-
-He was gone before she could open her lips again. She stood in a sort
-of dream, feeling as if some strange thing were about to happen to her.
-
-Night fell upon the castle and its inhabitants, but Monica could not
-sleep. If ever she closed her eyes in momentary slumber, the same vivid
-dream recurred again and again, till she was oppressed and exhausted by
-the effort to escape from it. It was Conrad, always Conrad, begging,
-praying, beseeching her to come. Sometimes it seemed as if his shadowy
-form stood beside her, wildly praying the same thing—to come to him—to
-come before it was too late.
-
-At last she could stand it no longer. She rose and dressed. The clock
-in the tower struck four. She knew she could sleep no more that night.
-Why should she not take the watch beside the unconscious dying man, and
-let the faithful Wilberforce get some rest?
-
-She stole noiselessly to the sick room. There had been no change in
-the patient’s state. He lived, but could hardly live much longer.
-Wilberforce would fain have stayed, but Monica dismissed her quietly
-and firmly, preferring to keep her watch alone.
-
-Profound silence reigned in the great house—silence only broken from
-time to time by the reverberating strokes of the clock in the tower, or
-by the sudden sinking of the coal in the grate and the quiet fall of
-the cinders. There was something inexpressibly solemn in the time, the
-place, and the office thus undertaken by Monica.
-
-Conrad lay dying—Conrad, once her friend and playmate, then her
-bitterest, cruellest foe, now?—ah yes, what now?—she asked that
-question many times of herself. What strange, mysterious power is
-that of death! How it blots out all hatred, anger, bitterness,
-and distrust, and leaves in its place a sort of tender, mournful
-compassion. Who can look upon the face of the dead, and cherish hard
-thoughts of him that is gone?
-
-Not Monica, at least. Conrad had been to her as the evil genius of
-one crisis of her life—of more had she but known it. She had said
-in her heart that she could never forgive him, that she would never
-voluntarily look upon his face again, and yet here he lay dying beneath
-her roof, and she was with him. She could not, when it came to the
-point, leave him to die alone, with only a stranger beside him. He
-might never know, his eyes would probably never open to the light of
-this world again; but she should know, and in years to come, when time
-should, even more than now, have softened all things to her, she knew
-that she should be glad to think she had shown mercy and compassion
-towards one in death, who had shown himself in life her bitterest foe.
-
-Very solemn thoughts filled her mind as she sat in that quiet room,
-in which a strong young life was quickly ebbing away. Would the
-sin-stained soul pass into the shadowy land of the hereafter in
-silence and darkness, without one moment for preparation—perhaps for
-repentance? Would some slight gleam of consciousness be granted? would
-it be vouchsafed to him to wake once more in this world, to give some
-sign to the earnest, silent watcher whether he had tried to make his
-peace with God before he was called to his last account?
-
-The lamp burned low—flickered in its socket. That strange blue _film_,
-the first forerunner of the coming day, stole solemnly into that quiet
-room. Suddenly Monica became aware that Conrad’s eyes were open, and
-fixed intently upon her face. She rose and stood beside him.
-
-“You are here?” he said, in a strange low voice. “I felt that you would
-hear me call—and would come. I knew I could not—die—till I had told you
-all.”
-
-She did not know how far he was conscious. His words were strange, but
-his eye was calm and quiet. He took the stimulant she held to his lips.
-It gave him an access of strength.
-
-“Where am I?” he asked.
-
-“At Trevlyn.”
-
-A strange look flitted over his face.
-
-“Ah! I remember now—I fell. And I have been brought to Trevlyn—to
-die—and you, Monica, are with me. It is well.”
-
-She hardly knew what to say, or how to answer the awed look in those
-dying eyes. He bent a keen glance upon her.
-
-“Will it be soon?” he asked; and she knew that the “it” meant death.
-She could not deceive him. She bent her head in assent, as she said:
-
-“Very soon, I think.”
-
-His eyes never left her face. His own face moved not a muscle, but its
-expression changed moment by moment in a way she could not understand.
-
-“There is not much time left, Monica. Sit down by me where I can see
-you. I must make a confession to you before I die.”
-
-“Not to me, Conrad,” said Monica gently. “Confess your sins to our
-Father in Heaven. He alone can grant forgiveness; and His mercies are
-very great.”
-
-“Forgiveness!” the word was spoken with an intensity of bitterness that
-startled Monica. The horror was deepening each moment in his eyes. She
-began to feel that it was reflected in her own. What did it all mean?
-
-“God is very merciful,” she said gently, commanding herself so that he
-should not see her agitation.
-
-“You do not know,” he interrupted almost fiercely. “Wait till I have
-told you all.”
-
-“Why should you tell me, Conrad? I know much of your past life. I know
-that you have sinned. Ask God’s forgiveness before it is too late. It
-is against Him, not me, that you have sinned.”
-
-“Against Him _and_ you,” he answered with a grave intensity of manner
-that plainly showed him master of his faculties. “Listen to me,
-Monica—you shall listen! I cannot carry the guilty secret to the grave.
-Death looks me in the face—he holds me by the hand, but he will not let
-me leave this world till I have told you all.”
-
-A sort of horror fell upon Monica. She neither spoke nor moved.
-
-“Monica, turn your face this way. I want to see it. I must see it. You
-remember the night, a year ago, when—your husband—went away?”
-
-She bent her head in silence.
-
-“Did you know that I was there—in the boat with him?”
-
-She raised her head, and looked at him speechlessly.
-
-“I was there,” he said, “but nobody knew, nobody suspected. I was on
-the shore before you. I saw you cling to him. I heard every word that
-passed. I think a demon entered into my soul as you kissed each other
-that night. ‘Kiss her!’ I said, ‘kiss her—you shall never kiss her
-again!’ Monica, I think sometimes I am mad—I was mad, possessed, that
-night. I had no will, no power to resist the evil spirit within me. He
-went down to the boat. I followed. In the black darkness nobody saw me
-swing myself in. You know the story the men told when they came back—it
-was all true enough. The crew of the sinking vessel had been rescued.
-Your husband left the boat to help the little lad. I followed him,
-unknown to all. He had already handed the boy into the boat when I
-came stealthily up to him; the boat had swung round, and for a moment
-was lost in darkness before it could be brought up again. This was my
-chance. It was pitchy dark, and he did not see me, though I was close
-beside him. I had the great boat-hook in my hand; we were both sinking
-with the sinking vessel. I steadied myself, and brought the metal end
-of the weapon with all my strength upon his head. He sank without a
-cry. I saw his head, covered with blood, and his glassy eyes above the
-water for a moment—the sight has haunted me ever since—then I sprang
-into the boat. ‘All right!’ I shouted, and the men pulled off with a
-will, without a suspicion or a doubt. Almost before the boat reached
-the shore I sprang out, and vanished in the darkness before any one had
-seen me. My vow of vengeance was fulfilled. I murdered your husband
-Monica—do you understand?—I murdered him in cold blood! What have you
-to say to me?”
-
-She sat still as a marble statue, her hands closely locked together.
-She spoke no word.
-
-“I thought revenge would be sweet; but it has been
-bitter—bitter—bitter! I have known no peace night or day. I have been
-ceaselessly haunted by the sight of that ghastly face—ah, I see it now!
-Every time I lie down to sleep I am doomed to do that hideous deed
-again. I have fled time after time from the scene of my crime, only to
-be dragged back by a power I cannot resist. I knew that a terrible
-retribution would come; yet I could not keep away. And now—yes, it has
-come—more terrible than ever I pictured. I am dying—in his house—and
-you—his wife—are watching over me. Ah, it is frightful! Is there
-forgiveness with God for sin like mine? You say His mercies are great.
-Can they cover this hideous deed? Monica, can _you_ forgive?”
-
-He spoke with the wild, passionate appeal of despair. The anguish and
-remorse in his face were terrible to see; but Monica did not speak. She
-sat rigid and still, as pale as death, her eyes glowing like living
-fire in the wild conflict of her feelings. This was terrible—too
-terrible to be borne.
-
-“Monica, I am dying—dying! The shadows are closing round me. Ah, do
-not turn away! It is all so dark; if you desert me I am lost indeed!
-If you were dying you would understand. Monica, you say God is
-good—merciful. I have asked His pardon again and again for this black
-sin, and even as I pray it seems as if you—your pale, still face—rises
-ever between me and the forgiveness I crave. I read by this token that
-to you I must confess this blackest sin; of you I must ask pardon too.
-I have repented. I do repent. I would give my life to call him back.
-Monica, forgive—forgive! Have mercy upon a dying man. As you will one
-day ask pardon at God’s hands even for your blameless life, give me
-your pardon ere I die!”
-
-Who shall estimate the struggle that raged in Monica’s soul during
-the brief moments that followed this appeal—moments that to her were
-like hours, years, for the concentrated passion of feeling that surged
-through them? She felt as if she had grown sensibly older, ere, white
-and shaken by the conflict, she won the victory over herself.
-
-She rose and stood beside him.
-
-“Conrad, I forgive you. May God forgive you as I do.”
-
-A sudden light flashed into his dim eyes. The awful, unspeakable horror
-passed slowly away. The deep darkness lifted a little—a very little—and
-Monica saw that it was so.
-
-“I think—you have—saved me,” he whispered, whilst the death damp
-gathered on his brow. “Monica, you will have your reward for this—I
-know it—I feel it. Ah! is this death? Monica—it is coming—teach me to
-pray—I cannot—I have forgotten—help me!”
-
-“I will help you, Conrad. Say it after me. ‘Our Father which art in
-Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on
-earth as it is in Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive
-us our trespasses; As we forgive’——”
-
-“‘As we forgive’——” Conrad broke off suddenly; a strange look of
-gladness, of relief, of comprehension, flashing over the face that
-had been so full of terror and anguish. “‘As we forgive’—and you have
-forgiven—then it may be that He will forgive too. I could not believe
-it before—now I can—God be merciful to me, a sinner!”
-
-Those were his last words. Already his eyes were glazing. The hush as
-of the shadow of death was filling that dim room. Monica knelt beside
-the bed, a sense of deep awe upon her, praying with all the strength of
-her pure soul for the guilty, erring man—her husband’s murderer—dying
-beneath his roof.
-
-And as she thus knelt and prayed, a sudden sense of her husband’s
-presence filled all her soul with an inexpressible, indescribable
-thrill of mingled rapture and awe. She trembled, and her heart beat
-thick and fast; whether she were in the spirit or out of the spirit
-she did not know. And then—in deep immeasurable distance, far, far
-away, and yet distinctly, sweetly clear—unmistakable—the sound of a
-voice—Randolph’s voice—thrilling through infinity of space:
-
-“Monica! Monica! My wife!”
-
-She started to her feet, quivering in every limb. Conrad’s eyes were
-fixed upon her with an inexplicable look of joy. Had he heard it too?
-What did it mean—that strange cry from the spirit world in this hour of
-death and dawn?
-
-She leant over the dying man.
-
-“Conrad,” she said, in a voice that was full of an emotion too deep for
-any but the simplest of words, “I forgive you—so does Randolph; and I
-think God has forgiven you too.”
-
-The clear radiance of another day was shining upon the earth as the
-troubled, erring spirit was set free, and passed away into the great
-hereafter, whose secrets shall be read in God’s good time, when all but
-His Word shall have passed away.
-
-Let us not judge him—for is there not joy with the angels in heaven
-over one sinner that repenteth?
-
-Yes, all was over now: all the weary warfare of sin and strife; and
-with a calm majesty in death, that the beautiful face had never worn in
-life, Conrad Fitzgerald lay dead in Castle Trevlyn.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.
-
-LORD HADDON.
-
-
-“And you forgave him, Monica, you forgave him? The man who had killed
-your husband?”
-
-It was Beatrice who spoke, and she spoke with a sort of horror in her
-tone. Tom stood a little apart in the recess of the window, a heavy
-cloud upon his brow. Lord Haddon was leaning with averted face upon the
-high carved mantel-shelf.
-
-They had all come over early to Trevlyn to hear the fate of the hapless
-man who had died in the night. Beatrice felt an unquenchable longing
-to know if he had spoken before he died—if by chance the terrible
-secret had escaped in delirium from his lips; and she had insisted on
-coming with her husband. Her brother, who had arrived unexpectedly
-the previous evening, had made one of the party. He was hungering for
-another sight of Monica, and Trevlyn seemed to draw him like a magnet.
-
-Monica’s face had told a tale of its own when she had first appeared;
-and the whispered question on Beatrice’s lips:
-
-“Did he speak, Monica? Did he say anything?” elicited a reply that led
-to explanations on both sides, rendering further reserve needless; and
-Monica told her tale with the quiet calmness of one who has too lately
-passed through some great mental conflict to be easily disturbed again.
-
-
-But Beatrice, fiery, impetuous Beatrice, could not understand this
-calm. She was shaken by a tempest of excitement and wrath.
-
-“You forgave him, Monica? Ah! how could you? Randolph’s murderer!”
-
-“Yes, I forgave him.”
-
-“You should not! You should not! It was not—it could not be right!
-Monica, I cannot understand you. I think you are made of stone!”
-
-She said nothing; she smiled. That smile was only seen by Haddon. It
-thrilled him to his heart’s core.
-
-“How came you to be with him at all?” said Tom, almost sternly. “It was
-not your duty to be there. It was no fit place for you.”
-
-“I think my place is where there is sorrow and need and loneliness,”
-answered Monica, very gently. “He needed me—and I came to him.”
-
-“He sent for you?”
-
-“I think he did.”
-
-“But you said——”
-
-Monica lifted her hand; she rose to her feet, passing her hand across
-her brow.
-
-“You would not understand, dear. There are some things, Beatrice, that
-you are very slow to learn. You know something of the mysteries of
-life, but you do not understand anything of those deeper mysteries of
-death. I have forgiven a dying man, who prayed forgiveness with his
-latest breath—and you look at me with horror.”
-
-Beatrice gazed at Monica, but yet would not yield her point.
-
-“Mercy can be carried too far——” but she could not say more, for the
-look upon Monica’s face brought a sudden sense of choking that would
-have made her voice falter had she attempted to proceed. Her brother’s
-murmured words, therefore, were now distinctly heard.
-
-“Not in God’s sight, perhaps.”
-
-Monica turned to him with a swift gesture inexpressibly sweet.
-
-“Ah! you understand,” she said simply. “I am glad you have come just
-now, Haddon. I shall want help. Will you give it me?”
-
-“I will do anything for you, and esteem it an honour.”
-
-She looked at him steadily.
-
-“Even if it is for one who—for the one who lies upstairs now—dead?”
-
-Haddon bent his head.
-
-“Even for him—at your bidding.”
-
-“Thank you,” she said.
-
-“I will take you home now, Beatrice,” said Tom, curtly. “We are not
-wanted here.”
-
-Monica looked questioningly at him, as she gave him her hand, to see
-what this abruptness might signify. He returned her gaze with equal
-intensity.
-
-“I believe you are an angel, Monica,” he said, lifting her hand for a
-moment to his lips; “but there are moments when fallen mortals like
-ourselves feel the angelic presence a little overpowering.”
-
-
-Monica, as she had said, wanted the help of some man of business, as
-there was a good deal to be done in connection with Conrad’s sudden
-death: a good many trying formalities to be gone through, as well as
-much correspondence, and in Lord Haddon she found an able and willing
-assistant.
-
-He saw much of Monica in those days. He was often at Trevlyn—hardly a
-day passed without his riding or driving across on some errand—and she
-was often at St. Maws herself, for Beatrice’s momentary flash of anger
-had been rapidly quenched in deep contrition and humility; and both she
-and her husband treated Monica with the sort of reverential tenderness
-that seemed to meet her now on all hands.
-
-Lord Haddon watched her day by day, wondering if ever he should dare
-to breathe a word of the hopes that filled his heart, reading in her
-calm face and in the sisterly gentleness and fondness with which she
-treated him, how little conscious she was of the purpose that possessed
-his soul. Sometimes he paused and shrank from troubling the still
-waters of their sweet, calm friendship, but then again the thought
-of leaving her in her loneliness and isolation seemed too sad and
-mournful, if by any devotion and love he could lighten the burden of
-her sorrow, and bring back something of the lost happiness into her
-life. Haddon was very humble, very self-distrustful; he did not expect
-to accomplish much, but he felt that he would gladly lay down his life,
-if by that act he could do anything to comfort her. To die for her
-would, however, be purposeless: the next thing was to try and live for
-her.
-
-And so one day, as they paced the lonely shore together, on a chill
-cloudy winter’s afternoon, he put his fate to the touch.
-
-She had noticed his silence—his abstraction: he had not been quite
-himself all day. Presently they reached a sheltered nook amongst some
-rocks not far from the water’s edge, and she sat down, motioning him to
-do the same. She looked at him with gentle, friendly concern.
-
-“Is anything the matter?” she asked. “Have you something on your mind?”
-
-He turned his head, looked into her eyes, and answered:
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Can I help you?” she continued, in the same sweet way. “You help me so
-often, that it is my turn to help you now if I can.”
-
-He looked with a glance she could not altogether understand.
-
-“Monica,” he said, “may I speak to you?—may I tell you something? I
-have tried to do so before, and have failed; but I ought not to go on
-longer without speaking. Have I your permission to tell you what is on
-my mind?”
-
-He did not often call her by her Christian name: only in moments of
-excitement, when his soul was stirred within him. The unconscious way
-in which it dropped now from his lips told that he was deeply moved.
-A sort of vague uneasiness arose within her, but she looked into his
-troubled, resolute face, and answered:
-
-“Tell me if you wish it, Haddon”—although she shrank, without knowing
-why, from the confession she was to hear.
-
-“Monica,” he said, not looking at her, but out over the sea, and
-speaking with a manly resolution and fluency unusual with him, the
-outcome of a very earnest purpose, “I am going to speak to you at
-last, and I must ask you beforehand to pardon my presumption, of which
-I am as well aware as you can ever be. Monica, I think that no woman
-in the wide world is like you. I have thought so ever since I saw you
-first, in your bridal robes, standing beside Randolph in that little
-church over yonder. When I saw you then—nay, pardon me if I pain you;
-I should not have recalled the memory, and yet I cannot help it—I
-said within myself that you were one to be worshipped with the truest
-devotion of a man’s heart; and the more I saw of you in later life, the
-deeper did that feeling sink into my soul. He, your husband, had been
-as a brother to me, and to feel that I was thus brought near to you,
-admitted to friendship and to confidence, was a source of keen pleasure
-such as I can ill describe. You did not know your power over me,
-Monica. I hardly knew it myself; but I think I would at any time have
-laid down my life either for him or for you. I know I would that fatal
-night—but I must not pain you more. When I awoke, Monica, from that
-long fever, to find you watching beside me, to hear that he, my friend,
-was dead, and you left all alone in your desolation—Monica, Monica, how
-can I hope to express to you what I felt? It is not treachery to his
-memory—believe me, it is not. If I could call him back, ah! how gladly
-would I do it!—at the cost of my life if need be—but that can never,
-never be! I know I can never fill _his_ place. I know I am utterly
-unworthy of the boon I ask; but if a life-long devotion, if a love
-that will never change nor falter, if the ceaseless care of one, who
-is yours wholly and entirely, can ever help to fill the blank, can in
-ever so small a degree make up to you for that one irretrievable loss,
-believe me, it will be the greatest happiness I can ever know. Monica,
-need I say more? Have I said too much? I only ask leave to watch over
-you, to comfort you, to love you; I ask nothing for myself—only the
-right to do this. Can you not give it to me? God helping me, you shall
-never repent it if you do.”
-
-A long pause followed this confession—this appeal. Monica’s face
-had expressed many fluctuating feelings as he had proceeded with his
-speech. Now it was full of a sort of divine compassion and tenderness:
-a look sometimes seen in a pictured saint or Madonna drawn by a master
-hand.
-
-“You are so good,” she said, very low; “so very, very good; and it
-grieves me so sadly to give you pain.”
-
-He turned his head and looked at her. His eyes darkened with sudden
-sorrow.
-
-“I have spoken too soon,” he said, in the same gentle, self-contained
-way. “I have tried to be patient, but seeing you lonely and sad makes
-it so hard. I should have waited longer—it is only a year now since.
-Monica, do not think me hard or callous to say it, but time is a great
-softener—a great healer. I do not mean that you will ever forget; but
-years will go by, and you are still quite young, very young to live
-your life always alone. Think of the years that lie before you. Must
-they all be spent alone? Monica, do not answer me yet; but if in time
-to come—if you want a friend, a helper—let me—can you think of me?
-Ah! how can I say it? Can I ever be more to you than I am now? You
-understand: you have only to call me, to command me—I will come.”
-
-He spoke with some agitation now, but it was quickly subdued. It seemed
-as if he would have left her, but she laid her hand upon his arm and
-detained him.
-
-“Haddon,” she said, softly, “I am lonely and I do want a friend. You
-have been a friend to me always; I trust and love you as a brother.
-May I not do so always? Can you not be content with that? Must it
-end with us, that love and trust? I should miss it sorely if it were
-withdrawn.”
-
-Her sweet, pleading face was turned towards him. There was a sort of
-struggle in the young man’s mind: then he answered quietly:
-
-“It shall be so, if you wish it,” he said. “My chiefest wish is for
-your happiness. But——”
-
-She checked him by a look.
-
-“Haddon, I am Randolph’s wife!”
-
-His eyes gave the reply his tongue would never have uttered. She
-answered as if he had spoken.
-
-“Yes, he is dead. Did you think that made any difference? Ah, you
-do not understand. When I gave myself to Randolph, I gave myself for
-ever—not for a time only but for always. He is my husband. I am his
-wife. Nothing can change that.”
-
-“Not even death?”
-
-The words were a mere whisper; yet she heard them. It seemed as if a
-sudden ray of light shone upon the face she turned towards him. He was
-awed; he watched her in mute silence.
-
-“Ah! no,” she said, very softly, “not death—death least of all. Death
-can only divide us, it cannot touch our love. Ah! you do not know, you
-do not understand. How can I make it clear to you? Love is like nothing
-else in the world—it is us, our very selves. _Somewhere_——” Monica
-clasped her hands together, and stretched them out before her towards
-the eternal ocean, with a gesture more eloquent than any words, whilst
-the light upon her face deepened in intensity every moment as her eyes
-fixed themselves upon the far horizon. “_Somewhere_ he is waiting for
-me to come to him—he, my husband, my love; and though he may not come
-back to me, I shall go to him in God’s good time, and when I join him
-in the great, eternal home, I must go to him as he left me—with nothing
-between us and our love; and there will be no parting there, no more
-death, and no more sea.”
-
-Her words died away in silence; but her parted lips, her shining eyes,
-the light upon her face, spoke an eloquent language of their own. Her
-companion sat and looked at her in mute, breathless silence, not
-unmixed with awe.
-
-He knew his cause was lost. He knew she could never, never be his;
-yet, strange to say, he was not saddened or cast down, for by this
-revelation of her innermost heart he felt himself uplifted and
-ennobled. His idol was not shattered. Monica was, as ever, enshrined
-in his heart—the one ideal woman to be worshipped, reverenced, adored.
-Even in this supreme hour of his life, when the airy fabric of his
-dreams was crumbling into dust about him, he had a perception that
-perhaps even thus it was best. He never could be worthy of her, and now
-he might still call himself her friend; had she not said so herself?
-
-There was a long, long silence between them. Then he moved, kneeling on
-one knee before her, and taking her hand in his.
-
-“Monica,” he said, “I understand now. I shall never trouble you again.
-You have judged well, very well; it is like you, and that is enough.
-But before I go may I crave one boon?”
-
-“And that is——?”
-
-“That you forget all that I have said, all the wild, foolish words that
-I have spoken; and let me keep my old place—as your brother and friend.”
-
-She looked at him with her own gentle smile.
-
-“I wish for nothing better,” she answered. “I cannot afford to lose my
-friend.”
-
-He pressed her hand for one moment to his lips, and was gone without
-another word.
-
-Tears slowly welled up in Monica’s eyes as she rose at last, and stood
-looking out over the vast waste of heaving grey sea—sad, colourless,
-troubled.
-
-“Like my life,” she said softly to herself. And yet she had just put
-away a love that might at least have cast a glow upon it, and gilded
-its dim edges.
-
-She stretched out her hand with a sort of mute gesture of entreaty.
-
-“Ah! Randolph, husband, come back to me! I am so lonely, so desolate!”
-
-Even as she spoke, the setting sun, as it touched the horizon, broke
-through the bank of cloud which had veiled it all the day, and flooded
-the sea as with liquid gold—that cold grey sea that she had just been
-likening to her own future life.
-
-She could not help an involuntary start.
-
-“Is it an omen?” she asked; and despite the heavy load at her heart,
-she went home somewhat comforted.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.
-
-CHRISTMAS.
-
-
-It was Christmas Eve; the light was just beginning to wane, and
-Monica’s work was done at last. She was free now until the arrival of
-her guests—the Pendrills and Lord Haddon—should give her new occupation
-in hospitable care for them.
-
-Monica had been too busy for thoughts of self to intrude often upon
-her during these past days. She wished to be busy; she tried to occupy
-herself from morning to night, for she found that the aching hunger of
-her heart was more eased by loving deeds of mercy and kindness than
-in any other way—self more fully lost in ceaseless care for others.
-But when all was done, every single thing disposed of, nothing more
-left to think of or to accomplish; then the inevitable reaction set in,
-and with a heart aching to pain, almost to despair, Monica entered the
-music-room, and sat down to her organ.
-
-She played with a sort of passionate appeal that was infinitely
-pathetic, had any one been there to hear; she threw all the yearning
-sadness of her soul into her organ, and it seemed to answer her back
-with a promise of strong sympathy and consolation. Insensibly she was
-soothed by the sweet sounds she evoked. She fell into a dreamy mood,
-playing softly in a minor key, so softly that through the door that
-stood ajar, she became aware of a slight subdued tumult in the hall
-without, to which she gave but a dreamy attention at first.
-
-The bell had pealed sharply, steps had crossed the hall, the door had
-been opened, and then had followed the tumultuous sounds expressive of
-astonishment that roused Monica from her dreamy reverie. She supposed
-the party from St. Maws had arrived somewhat before the expected time,
-and rose, and had made a few steps forward when she suddenly stopped
-short and stood motionless—spell-bound—what was it she had heard?—only
-the sound of a voice—a man’s voice.
-
-“Where is your mistress?”
-
-The words were uttered in a clear, deep, ringing tone, that seemed to
-her to waken every echo in the castle into wild surging life. The very
-air throbbed and palpitated around her—her temples seemed as if they
-would burst. What was the meaning of that sound—that wild tumult of
-voices? Why did she stand as if carved in stone, growing white to the
-very lips, whilst thrill upon thrill ran through her frame, and her
-heart beat to suffocation? What did it all portend? Whose was the voice
-she had just heard—that voice from the dead? _Who_ was it that stood in
-the hall without?
-
-The door was flung open. A tall, dark figure stood in the dim light.
-
-“Monica!”
-
-Monica neither spoke nor moved. The cry of awe and of rapture that rose
-from her heart could not find voice in which to utter itself—but what
-matter? She was in her husband’s arms. Her head lay upon his breast.
-His lips were pressed to her cold face in the kisses she had never
-thought to feel again. Randolph had come back. She could not speak. She
-had no will to try and frame a single word. He held her in his arms; he
-strained her ever closer and closer. She felt the tumultuous beating of
-his heart as she lay in his arms, powerless to move or think. She heard
-his murmured words, broken and hoarse with the passionate feeling of
-that supreme moment.
-
-“My wife! Monica! My wife!”
-
-And then for a time she knew no more. Sight and hearing alike failed
-her; it seemed as if a slumber from heaven itself sealed her eyes and
-stole away her senses.
-
-When she came to herself she was on a sofa in her own room, and
-Randolph was kneeling beside her. She did not start to see him there.
-For a moment it seemed as if he had never left her. She smiled her own
-sweet smile.
-
-“Randolph! Have I been asleep—dreaming?”
-
-He took her hands in his, and bent to kiss her lips.
-
-“It has been a long dream, my Monica, and a dark one; but it is over at
-last. My darling, my darling! God grant I may not be dreaming now!”
-
-She smiled like a tired child. She had a perception that something
-overpoweringly strange and sudden had happened, but she did not want to
-rouse herself just yet to think what it must all mean.
-
-
-Two hours later, in the great drawing-room ablaze with light, Monica
-and Randolph stood together to welcome their guests. She had laid aside
-her mournful widow’s garb, and was arrayed in her shimmering bridal
-robes. Ah, how lovely she was in her husband’s eyes as she stood beside
-him now! Perhaps never in all her life had she looked more exquisitely
-fair. Happiness had lighted her beautiful eyes, and had brought the
-rose back to her pale cheeks: she was glorified—transfigured—a vision
-of radiant beauty.
-
-He had changed but slightly during his mysterious year of absence.
-There were a few lines upon his face that had not been there of old: he
-looked like a man who had been through some ordeal, whether mental or
-physical it would be less easy to tell; but the same joy and rapture
-that emanated, as it were, from Monica was reflected in his face
-likewise, and only a keen eye could read to-night the traces of pain or
-of sorrow in that strong, proud, manly countenance.
-
-Monica looked at him suddenly, the flush deepening in her cheeks.
-
-“Hush! They are coming!” she said, and waited breathlessly.
-
-The door opened, admitting Mrs. Pendrill, Beatrice, and Tom. There
-was a pause—a brief, intense silence, during which the fall of a pin
-might have been heard, and then, with one long, low cry, half-sobbing,
-half-laughing, Beatrice rushed across the room, and flung herself upon
-Randolph.
-
-Monica went straight up to Mrs. Pendrill, and put her arms about her
-neck.
-
-“Aunt Elizabeth, he has come home,” she said, in a voice that shook a
-little with the tumult of her happiness. “He has just come home—this
-very day—Randolph—my husband. Help me to believe it. You must help me
-to bear this—as you helped me to bear the other.”
-
-Tom had by this time grasped Randolph by the hand; but neither trusted
-his own voice. They were glad that Beatrice covered their silence by
-her incoherent exclamations of rapture, and by the flow of questions no
-one attempted to answer.
-
-It was all too like a dream for anyone to recollect very clearly what
-happened. Raymond and Haddon came in almost at once, new greetings
-had to be gone through. How the dinner passed off that night no one
-afterwards remembered. There was a deep sense of thankfulness and
-joy in every heart; yet of words there were few. But when gathered
-round the fire later on in the evening, when they had grown used to
-the presence amongst them of one whom they had mourned as dead for
-more than a year, Randolph was called upon to tell his tale, which was
-listened to in breathless silence.
-
-“I will tell you all I can about it; but there are points yet where my
-memory fails me, where I have but little idea what happened. I have a
-dim recollection of the night of the wreck, and of leaving the boat;
-but I must have received a heavy blow on the head, the doctors tell
-me, and I suppose I sank, and the men could not find me. But I was
-entangled, it seems, in the rigging of a floating spar, and must have
-been carried thus many miles; for I was picked up by an ocean steamer
-bound for Australia, which had been driven somewhat out of its course
-by the gale. It was not supposed that I could live after so many hours’
-exposure. I was quite unconscious, and remained so for a very long
-time. There was nothing upon me by which I could be identified, and
-of course I could give no account of myself. On board the boat were a
-kind-hearted wealthy Australian couple, who had lately lost an only
-son, to whom they fancied I bore some slight resemblance. Perhaps for
-this cause, perhaps from true kindness of heart, they at once took me
-under their special care and protection. There was plenty of space on
-board the vessel, and they looked after me as if I had indeed been
-their son. They would not hear of my being left behind in hospital on
-the way out. They took me under their protection until I should be able
-to give an account of myself.
-
-“Of course I knew nothing about all this. I was lying dangerously ill
-of brain fever all the while, not knowing where I was, or what was
-happening. When we reached Melbourne at last, and I was conveyed to
-their luxurious house on the outskirts of the town, I was still in
-the same state, relapse following relapse, every time till I gained
-a little ground, till for months my life was despaired of. I was
-either raving in delirium, or lying in a sort of unconscious stupor,
-and without all the skill and care lavished upon me, I suppose I must
-have died. But I did not die. Gradually, very gradually, the fever
-abated, and I began to come to myself: that is to say, I began to
-know the faces around me and to recognise my surroundings; but for
-myself, I knew no more who I was, nor whence I had come, than the
-infant just born into the world. My memory had gone, had been wiped
-clean away; I had no idea of my own identity, no recollection of the
-past. The very effort to remember brought on such pain and distress
-that I was imperatively commanded to relinquish the attempt. Gradually
-some things came back to my mind: I could read, write, understand the
-foreign tongues I had mastered, and the sciences I had studied in past
-days. As my health slowly improved this kind of knowledge came back
-spontaneously and without effort; but my personal history was as a
-blank wall, against which I flung myself in vain. It would yield to no
-efforts of mine. Distressed and confused, I was obliged to give up, and
-wait with what patience I might for the realisation of the hope held
-out cheerfully by the clever doctor who attended me. He maintained that
-if I would but have patience, some strong association of ideas would
-some day bring all back in a flash, and meantime all I had to do was to
-get strong and well, so as to be ready for action when that day should
-come. I was restless sometimes, but less so than one would fancy, for
-the blank was too complete to be distressing. My good friends and
-protectors were unspeakably kind and good, and did everything in their
-power to ensure my mental and physical well-being; I recovered my
-health rapidly, soon my memory was to come back too.”
-
-Randolph passed his hand across his eyes. No one spoke, every eye was
-fixed upon his face.
-
-“It did so very strangely: it was one hot afternoon in November—our
-summer, you know”—he named the date and the hour, and Monica heard it
-with a sudden thrill. Allowing for the discrepancy of time, it was
-during the moments that she watched by Conrad Fitzgerald’s dying bed
-that her husband’s memory was given back to him.
-
-“I was looking over some old English newspapers, idly, purposelessly,
-when I came upon a detailed account of the wreck, and of my own
-supposed death. As I read—I cannot describe what it was like—my memory
-came back to me in a great flood, like overwhelming waves. It seemed,
-Monica, as if my spirit were carried on wings to Trevlyn, as if I were
-hovering over you in some mysterious way impossible to describe. I
-called your name aloud. I knew that I was close to you, at Trevlyn—it
-is useless to attempt to define what I felt. When I came to myself they
-told me I had fainted; but that was not so. I had been on a journey,
-that is all, and had returned. My memory was restored from that hour,
-clearly and distinctly; the doctor thought there might be lapses, that
-I might never be the same man again as I had been once; but I have felt
-no ill effects since. Little more remains to be told. My first instinct
-was to telegraph; but not knowing what had happened in my absence,
-knowing I must long have been given up for lost, I was afraid to do
-so, lest hopeless confusion should result. Instead, I took the first
-home-bound steamer, and reached London late last night. I found out at
-the house there where Monica was, and came on here by the first train.
-I have come back home to spend my Christmas with you.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.
-
-THE LAST.
-
-
-“Monica, I could not tell you last night—it was all so sudden, so
-wonderful—but I think you know, without any words of mine, how glad,
-how thankful, I am.”
-
-It was Haddon who spoke, spoke with a glad, frank, joyous sincerity,
-that beamed in his eye and sounded in every tone of his voice. Monica
-gave him both her hands, looking up into his face with her sweetest
-smile.
-
-“I know, Haddon; I know. I am sure of it. Is he not almost a brother to
-you?—and are you not the best of brothers to me?”
-
-“At least I will try to be,” he answered gladly. “I cannot tell you how
-happy this has made me.”
-
-She was glad, too: glad to see him so happy, so heart-whole. He had
-loved her with the loyal love of a devoted chivalrous knight, had loved
-her for her sorrow and her loneliness; but she was comforted now, and
-he was able to rejoice with her. It was all very good—just as she would
-have it.
-
-Ah! what a day of joy and thanksgiving it was! How Monica’s heart beat
-as she knelt by her husband’s side that glad Christmas morning in
-the little cliff church, when, in the pause just before the General
-Thanksgiving, the grey-headed clergyman, with a little quiver in his
-voice, announced that Randolph Trevlyn desired to return thanks to
-Almighty God for preservation from great perils, and for restoration to
-his home.
-
-Her voice faltered in the familiar words, and many suppressed sobs were
-heard in the little building, but they were sobs of joy and gratitude,
-and tears of healing and of happiness stole down Monica’s cheeks. It
-was like some beautiful dream, and yet too sweet not to be true.
-
-In the afternoon Monica and Randolph went out alone together; first
-into the whispering pine woods, and then out upon the breezy cliff,
-hard beneath their feet with the winter’s frost.
-
-He let her lead him whither she would. He had no thought to spare for
-aught beside herself. They were together once again. What more could
-they need?
-
-But Monica had an object in view; and as they walked, engrossed in
-each other, in sweet communion of soul and interchange of thought, or
-the almost sweeter silence of perfect peace and tranquillity, she led
-him once more towards the little cliff church; though only when she was
-unlatching the gate to enter the quiet grave-yard did he arouse to the
-sense of their surroundings.
-
-“Why, Monica,” he said, “why have you brought me here? We are too late
-for service.”
-
-“I know,” she answered; “but come. I want to show you something.”
-
-Her face wore an expression he did not understand. He followed her in
-silence to a secluded corner, where, beneath a dark yew tree, stood a
-green mound, at the head of which a wooden cross had been temporarily
-erected.
-
-Randolph read the letters it bore:
-
-“C. F.,” followed by a date, and beneath, the simple, familiar words—
-
- “_Requiescat in pace._”
-
-Strange, perhaps, that Monica should have cared for this lonely grave,
-in which was laid to rest one who had, as she believed, robbed her life
-of all its brightness and joy. Strange that she, in the absence of
-friend or kinsman, should have charged herself with keeping it, and of
-erecting there some monument to mark who lay there low. Strange—yet so
-it was.
-
-Her husband looked at her questioningly.
-
-“Conrad’s grave—yes,” she answered quietly. “Randolph, look at the
-date.”
-
-He did so, and started a little.
-
-“He died at dawn that day, Randolph. You know what was happening then
-at the other side of the world?”
-
-There was a strange look of awe upon her face as she spoke, which was
-reflected in his also. She came and stood close beside him.
-
-“Randolph, do you know that he was there—that night?—that he tried to
-kill you?”
-
-He had taken off his hat as he stood beside the grave, with the
-instinctive reverence for the dead—even though it be a dead
-foe—characteristic of a noble mind. Now he passed his hand across his
-brow and through his thick dark hair.
-
-“I thought that was a delusion of fever—a sort of hideous vision
-founded on no reality. Monica, was it so?”
-
-“It was.”
-
-“How do you know?”
-
-“I had it from his own lips.”
-
-He gazed at her without speaking; something in her face awed and
-silenced him.
-
-“Randolph, listen,” she said. “I must tell you all. Six weeks ago,
-the evening before _that_ day, he was brought, shattered and dying,
-to Trevlyn; he had fallen from the cliffs, no skill could serve to
-prolong his life. I knew nothing then—he was profoundly unconscious,
-yet as the night wore away some strange intuition came upon me that
-he wanted me, that he was beseeching me to come to him. I went—he was
-still unconscious. I sent Wilberforce away and watched by him myself.
-Randolph, at dawn he awoke to consciousness—he told me all his awful
-tale—he said he had murdered you—I believed it was true. He was
-dying—dying in darkness and in dread, and he prayed for my forgiveness
-as if his salvation hung upon it. Randolph, Randolph, how can I tell
-you?—I cannot, no I cannot—no one could understand,” for a moment she
-pressed her hand upon her eyes, looking up again in a few seconds with
-a calm glance that was like a smile. “He was dying, Randolph, and I
-forgave him—I forgave him freely and fully—and he died in peace. Stop,
-that is not all. Randolph, as I knelt beside his bed, praying for
-the sin-stained spirit then taking its flight, I felt that you were
-with me; I had never before felt the strange overshadowing presence
-that I did then—you were there, your own self. I heard your voice far
-away, yet absolutely clear, like a call from some distant, snow-clad
-mountain-top, infinitely far—‘Monica! Monica! My wife!’ I think Conrad
-heard it too, for he died with a smile on his lips. Randolph, I am sure
-that you were with me in that strange, awful hour. I knew it then—I
-know it better now. Randolph, I think that love is stronger than all
-else—time, space, death itself. Nothing touched our love. I think it is
-like eternity.”
-
-A deep look of awe had stamped itself upon Randolph’s face. He put his
-arm round Monica, and for a very long while they stood thus, neither
-attempting to speak or to move.
-
-At last he woke from his reverie, and looked down at her with a strange
-light shining in his eyes.
-
-“And you forgave him, Monica?”
-
-She looked up and met his gaze unfalteringly.
-
-“I forgave him, Randolph; was I wrong?”
-
-He stooped and kissed her.
-
-“My wife, I thank God that you did forgive him. His life was full of
-sin and sorrow—but at least its end was peace. May God pardon him as
-you did—as I do.”
-
-There was a strange sweet smile in her eyes as she lifted them to his.
-
-“Ah, Randolph!” she said softly, “I knew you would understand. Oh, my
-husband, my husband!”
-
-He held her in his arms, and she looked up at him with a sweet, tender
-smile. Then her eyes wandered dreamily out over the wide sea beneath
-them.
-
-“There is nothing sad there now, Randolph. It will never separate us
-again.”
-
-He looked down at her with a world of love in his eyes; yet as they
-turned away his glance rested for one moment upon the lonely grave he
-had been brought to see, and lifting his hat once more, he murmured
-beneath his breath—“Requiescat in pace.”
-
-Then drawing his wife’s hand within his arm, he led her homewards
-to Trevlyn, whilst the sun set in a blaze of golden glory over the
-boundless shining sea.
-
-
-THE END.
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber's Notes
-
-
-Minor punctuation and printer errors repaired.
-
-Italic text is denoted by _underscores_
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Monica, Volume 3 (of 3), by Evelyn Everett-Green
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