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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #54942 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/54942)
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-Project Gutenberg's Monica, Volume 3 (of 3), by Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Monica, Volume 3 (of 3)
- A Novel
-
-Author: Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-Release Date: June 20, 2017 [EBook #54942]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MONICA, VOLUME 3 (OF 3) ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by MWS and the Online Distributed Proofreading
-Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
-images generously made available by The Internet
-Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-A Novel.
-
-BY
-
-EVELYN EVERETT-GREEN.
-
-Author of
-
-“Torwood’s Trust,” “The Last of the Dacres,”
-“Ruthven of Ruthven,” Etc.
-
-
-_IN THREE VOLUMES._
-
-VOL. III.
-
-
-LONDON:
-WARD AND DOWNEY,
-12, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.
-1889.
-
-
-
-
-PRINTED BY
-KELLY AND CO., GATE STREET, LINCOLN’S INN FIELDS,
-AND KINGSTON-ON-THAMES.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS.
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.
-
- PAGE
-
-Beatrice 1
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.
-
-Storm 17
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.
-
-Widowed 39
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.
-
-Monica 61
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.
-
-Haunted 79
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.
-
-Lovers 97
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.
-
-“As We Forgive” 124
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.
-
-Lord Haddon 155
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.
-
-Christmas 177
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.
-
-The Last 194
-
-
-
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.
-
-BEATRICE.
-
-
-“Beatrice, I believe my words are coming true, after all. I begin to
-think you are getting tired of Trevlyn already.”
-
-It was Monica who spoke thus. She had surprised Beatrice alone in the
-boudoir at dusk one afternoon, sitting in an attitude of listless
-dejection, with the undoubted brightness of unshed tears in her eyes.
-
-But the girl looked up quickly, trying to regain all her usual
-animation, though the attempt was not a marked success, and Monica sat
-down beside her, and laid one hand upon hers in a sort of mute caress.
-
-“You are not happy with us, Beatrice, I see it more and more plainly
-every day. You have grown pale since you came here, and your spirits
-vary every hour, but they do not improve, and you are often sad. I
-think Trevlyn cannot suit you. I think I shall have to prescribe change
-of air and scene, and a meeting later on in some other place.”
-
-Monica spoke with a sort of grave gentleness, that indicated a
-tenderness she could not well express more clearly. For answer,
-Beatrice suddenly flung herself on her knees before her hostess,
-burying her face in her hands.
-
-“Oh, don’t send me away, Monica! Don’t send me away! I could not bear
-it—indeed I could not! I am miserable—I am wretched company. I don’t
-wonder you are tired of me; but ah! don’t send me away from you, and
-from Trevlyn. I think I shall _die_ if you do. Oh, why is the world
-such a hard, cruel place?”
-
-Monica was startled at this sudden outburst, for since the day
-following her arrival Beatrice had showed herself unusually reserved.
-She had been _distraite_, absorbed, fitful in her moods, but never once
-expansive; therefore, this unexpected impulse towards confidence was
-the more surprising.
-
-“Beatrice,” she said gently, “I did not mean to distress you. You know
-how very, very welcome you are to stay with us. But you are unhappy;
-you are far more unhappy than when you came.”
-
-Beatrice shook her head vehemently at this point, but Monica continued
-in the same quiet way. “You are unhappy, you are restless and
-miserable. Beatrice, answer me frankly, would you be happy if Tom
-Pendrill were not here? He has already outstayed his original time, and
-we could quite easily get rid of him if his presence is a trouble to
-you. We never stand on ceremony with Tom, and Randolph could manage it
-in a moment.”
-
-Beatrice lifted a pale, startled face.
-
-“Tom Pendrill?” she repeated, almost sharply. “What has he got to
-do with it? What makes you bring in his name? What do you know
-about—about——?” She stopped suddenly.
-
-“I know nothing except what I see for myself—nothing but what your
-face and his tell me. It is easy to see that you have known each
-other before, and under rather exceptional circumstances, perhaps. Do
-you think it escapes me, that feverish gaiety of yours whenever he is
-near—gaiety that is expended in laughing, chatting, flirting, perhaps,
-with the other guests, but is never by any chance directed to him? Do
-you think I do not notice how quickly that affectation of high spirits
-evaporates when he is gone; how many fits of sad musing follow in its
-wake? How is it you two never talk to one another? never exchange
-anything beyond the most frigid commonplaces? It is not your way to
-be so distant and so cool, Beatrice. There must be a reason. Tell me
-truly, would you not be happier if Tom Pendrill were to go back to St.
-Maws?”
-
-But Beatrice shook her head again, and heaved a long, shuddering sigh.
-
-“Oh, no, no!” she said. “Don’t send him away. Nothing really matters
-now; nothing can do either good or harm. Let him stay. I think his
-heart is made of ice. He does not care; why should I? It is nothing but
-my folly and weakness, only it brings it all back so bitterly—all my
-pride, and self-will, and stubbornness. Well, I have suffered for it
-now.”
-
-It was plain that a confession was hovering on Beatrice’s lips; that
-she was anxious at last to unburden herself of her secret. Monica
-helped her by asking a direct question.
-
-“Were you engaged to him once?”
-
-“No—no! not quite. I had not got quite so far as that. I might have
-been. He asked me to be his wife, and I—I——” She paused, and then went
-on more coherently.
-
-“I will tell you all about it. It was years ago, when I was barely
-eighteen—a gay, giddy girl, just ‘out,’ full of fun, very wild and
-saucy, and thoroughly spoiled by persistent petting and indulgence. I
-was the only daughter of the house, and believed that Lady Beatrice
-Wentworth was a being of vast importance. Well, I suppose people
-spoiled us because we were orphans. We were all more or less spoiled,
-and I think it was the ruin of my eldest brother. He was at Oxford at
-the time I am speaking of; and I was taken to Commemoration by some gay
-friends of ours, who had brothers and sons at Oxford.
-
-“It was there I met Tom Pendrill. He was the ‘chum’ of one of the
-undergraduate sons of my chaperon, and he was a great man just then. He
-had distinguished himself tremendously in the schools, I know—had taken
-a double-first, or something, and other things beside. He was quite a
-lion in his own set, and I heard an immense deal in his praise, and was
-tremendously impressed, quite convinced that there was not such another
-man in the world. He was almost always in our party, and he took a
-great deal of notice of me. He gave us breakfast in his rooms, and I
-sat next him, and helped to do the honours of the table. You can’t
-think how proud I was at being singled out by him, how delighted I was
-to walk by his side, listening to his words of wisdom, how elevated I
-often felt, how taken out of myself into quite a new world of thought
-and feeling.”
-
-Beatrice paused. A smile—half sad, half bitter—played for a moment over
-her face; then she took up the thread of her narrative.
-
-“I need not go into the subject of my feelings. I was very young, and
-all the glamour of youth and inexperience was upon me. I had never,
-in all my life, come across a man in the least like him—so clever, so
-witty, so cultured, and withal with so strong a personality. He was
-not silent and cynical, as he is now, but full of life and sparkle, of
-brilliance and humour. I was dazzled and captivated. I believed there
-had never been such a man in the world before. He was my ideal, my
-hero; and he seemed to court me, which was the most wonderful thing of
-all.
-
-“You know what young girls are like? No, perhaps you don’t, and I
-will avoid generalities, and speak only of myself. Just because he
-captivated me so much—my fancy, my intellect, my heart—just because
-I began to feel his power growing so strongly upon me, I grew shy,
-frightened, restive. I was very wilful and capricious. I wanted him to
-admire me, and I was proud that he seemed to do so; but I did not in
-the least want to acknowledge his power over me. I was frightened at
-it. I tried to ignore it—to keep it off.
-
-“So, in a kind of foolish defiance and mistrust of myself, I began
-flirting tremendously with a silly young marquis, whom I heartily
-despised and disliked. I only favoured him when Tom Pendrill was
-present, for I wanted to make him jealous, and to feel my power over
-him. Coquetry is born in some women, I believe; I am sure it was born
-in me. I did not mean any harm. I never cared a bit for the creature.
-I cared for no one but the man I affected now to be tired of. But
-rumours got about. I suppose it would have been a very good match for
-me. People said I was going to marry the cub, and I only laughed when I
-heard the report. I was young, vain, and foolish enough to feel rather
-flattered than otherwise.”
-
-She paused a moment, with another of those bitter-sweet smiles, and
-went on very quietly:
-
-“Why are girls so badly brought up? I was not bad at heart; but I was
-vain and frivolous. I loved to inflict pain of a kind upon others, till
-I played once too often with edge-tools, and have suffered for it ever
-since. Of course, Tom Pendrill heard these reports, and, of course,
-they angered him deeply; for I had given him every encouragement.
-He did not know the complex workings of a woman’s heart, her wild
-struggles for supremacy before she can be content to yield herself up
-for ever a willing sacrifice. He did not understand; how should he? I
-did not either till it was too late.
-
-“I saw him once more alone. We were walking by the river one moonlight
-night. He was unlike himself—silent, moody, imperious. All of a sudden
-it burst out. He asked me almost fiercely if I would be his wife—he
-almost claimed my promise as his right—said that I owed him that
-reparation for destroying his peace of mind. How my heart leapt as I
-heard those words. A torrent of love seemed to surge over me. I was
-terrified at the depth of feeling he had stirred up. I struggled with
-a sort of fury against being carried away by it, against betraying
-myself too unreservedly. I don’t remember what I said; I was terribly
-agitated. I believe in my confusion and bewilderment I said something
-disgusting about my rank and his—the difference between us. Then he
-cast that odious marquis in my teeth, supposed that the report he had
-heard was true, that I was going to sell myself for the reversion of a
-ducal coronet, since I thought so much of _rank_. I was furious; all
-the more furious because I had brought it on myself, though, had he but
-known it, it was ungenerous to take me at a disadvantage, and cast my
-words back at me like that—words spoken without the least consideration
-or intention. But, right or wrong, he did it, and I answered back
-with more vehemence than before. I don’t know what I said, but it was
-enough for him, at any rate. He turned upon me—I think he almost cursed
-me—not in words, but in the cruel scorn expressed in his face and in
-his voice. Ah! it hurts me even now. Then he left me without another
-word, without a sign or sound of farewell—left me standing alone by
-that river. I never saw him again till we met in your drawing-room that
-night.”
-
-Beatrice paused; Monica had taken her hand in token of sympathy, but
-she did not speak.
-
-“Of course, at first I thought he would come back. I never dreamed
-he would believe I had really led him on, only to reject him with
-contempt, when once he dared to speak his heart to me. We had
-quarrelled; and I was very miserable, knowing how foolish I had been;
-but I never, never believed for a moment that he would take that
-quarrel as final.
-
-“Two wretched days of suspense followed. Then I heard that he had left
-Oxford the morning after our interview by the river, and I knew that
-all was over between us. That is the story of my life, Monica; it does
-not sound much to tell, but it means a good deal to me. I have never
-loved anyone else—I do not think I ever shall.”
-
-Monica was silent.
-
-“Neither has he.”
-
-Beatrice’s eyes were full of a sort of wistful sadness and tender
-regret; but she only kissed Monica very quietly, and stole silently
-from the room.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.
-
-STORM.
-
-
-“Ah, Randolph! I am glad you are in. It is going to be such a rough
-night!”
-
-Monica was sitting by the fire in her own room, waiting for her husband
-to join her there, as he always did immediately upon coming in from
-his day’s sport. They had one or two more guests at Trevlyn now—men,
-friends of Randolph’s in days past; but nothing ever hindered him from
-devoting this one hour before dinner to his wife. It was to Monica the
-happiest hour of the day.
-
-“I am so glad to have you safe back. Are you not very wet?”
-
-“No; I was well protected from the rain; but it has been a disagreeable
-sort of day. The other fellows were carried off to dine at Hartland’s.
-We came across their party just outside the park, and he begged us all
-to accept his hospitality for the night, as the weather was getting
-so bad. Haddon and I came home to tell you, but the rest accepted the
-invitation. We shall be quite a small party to-night.”
-
-Monica looked up with a smile.
-
-“I think I am glad of that, Randolph.”
-
-He sat down and put his arm about her.
-
-“Tired of our guests already, Monica?”
-
-“I don’t know—I like to have your friends, and to help to make them
-enjoy themselves; but I don’t think there is any such happiness as
-having you all to myself.”
-
-He held her closer to him, and looked with a proud fond smile into her
-face.
-
-“You feel that too, Monica?”
-
-“Ah, yes! How could I help it?”
-
-He fancied she spoke sadly, and would know why.
-
-“I think I have been sad all day,” she answered; “I am often sad before
-a storm, when I hear the wind moaning round the house. It makes me
-think of the brave men at sea, and their wives waiting for them at
-home.”
-
-There was a little quiver in her voice as she spoke the last words.
-Randolph heard it, and held her very close to him.
-
-“It is not such a very bad night, Monica.”
-
-“No; but it makes me think. When you are away, I cannot help feeling
-sad, often. Ah, my husband! how can I tell you all that you have been
-to me these happy, happy months?”
-
-“My sweet wife!” he murmured, softly.
-
-“And other wives love their husbands,” she went on in the same dreamy
-way, “and they see them go away over the dark sea, never to come back
-any more,” and she shivered.
-
-“Let us go to the music-room, Monica,” said Randolph. “You shall play
-the hymn for those at sea.”
-
-He knew the power of music to soothe her, when these strange moods of
-sadness and fear came upon her. They went to the organ together, and
-before half-an-hour had passed Monica was her own calm, serene self
-again.
-
-“Monica,” said Randolph, “can you sing something to me now—now that we
-are quite alone together? Do you remember that little sad, sweet song
-you sang the night before I went away to Scotland? Will you sing it to
-me now? I have so often wanted to hear it again.”
-
-Monica gave him one quick glance, and struck the preliminary chords
-softly and dreamily.
-
-Wonderfully rich and sweet her voice sounded; but low-toned and deep,
-with a subtle searching sweetness that spoke straight to the heart:
-
- “‘And if thou wilt, remember—
- And if thou wilt, forget.’”
-
-There was the least little quiver in her voice as it died into silence.
-Randolph bent over her and kissed her on the lips.
-
-“Thank you,” he said. “It is a haunting little song in its sad
-sweetness. Somehow, it seems like you, Monica.”
-
-But she made no answer, for at that moment a sound reached their ears
-that made them both start, listening intently. Monica’s face grew white
-to the lips.
-
-The sound was repeated with greater distinctness.
-
-“A gun!” said Randolph.
-
-“A ship in distress!” whispered Monica.
-
-A ship in distress upon that cruel, iron-bound coast—a pitch-dark night
-and a rising gale!
-
-Randolph looked grave and resolute.
-
-“We must see what can be done,” he said.
-
-Monica’s face was very pale, but as resolute as her husband’s.
-
-“I will go with you!” she said.
-
-He glanced at, her, but he did not say her nay.
-
-In the hall servants were gathering in visible excitement. Lord Haddon
-was there, and Beatrice. The distressing signals from the doomed vessel
-were urging their imperative message upon every heart. Faces were
-flushed with excitement. Every eye was turned upon the master of the
-house.
-
-“Haddon,” he said, “there is not a man on the place that can ride like
-you, and you know every inch of the country by this time. Will you do
-this?—take the fastest, surest horse in the stable, and gallop to the
-nearest life-boat station. You know where it is?—Good! Give the alarm
-there, and get all in readiness. If the ship is past our help, and
-drifts with the wind, they may be able to save her crew still.”
-
-Haddon stayed to ask no more. He was off for the stables almost before
-the words had left Randolph’s lips.
-
-Monica was wrapping herself up in her warm ulster; Beatrice followed
-her example; the one was flushed, the other pale, but both were bent on
-the same object—they must go down to the shore to see what was done.
-They could not rest with the sound of those terrible guns ringing in
-their ears.
-
-The night was pitchy black, the sky was obscured by a thick bank of
-cloud. The wind blew fierce and strong, what sailors would call “half
-a gale.” It was a wild, “dirty” night, but not nearly so bad a one as
-they often knew upon that coast.
-
-The lanterns lighted them down the steep cliff-path, every foot of
-which, however, was well known to Monica. She kept close beside her
-husband. He gave her his hand over every difficult piece of the road,
-Beatrice followed a little more slowly. At last they all stood together
-upon the rocky floor of the bay.
-
-Monica looked out to sea. She was the first to realise what had
-happened.
-
-“She has struck on the reef!” she said. “She does not drift. She has
-struck!”
-
-“And in such a sea she will be dashed to pieces in a very short time,”
-said Randolph, as another signal flashed out from the doomed vessel.
-
-Other lights were moving about the shore. It was plain that the whole
-population of the little hamlet had gathered at the water’s edge.
-Through the gusts of rain they could see indistinctly moving figures;
-they could catch as a faint murmur the loud, eager tones of their
-voices.
-
-“Stay here, Monica,” said Randolph, “under the shelter of this rock. I
-must go and see what is being done. Wait here for me.”
-
-She had held fast by his arm till now! but she loosed his clasp as she
-heard these words.
-
-“You will come back?” she said, striving to speak calmly and steadily.
-
-“Yes, as soon as I can. I must see what can be done. There seems to be
-a boat. I must go and see if it cannot be launched. The sea in the bay
-is not so very wild.”
-
-Randolph was gone already. Beatrice and Monica were left standing in
-the lee of a projection of the cliff. They thought they were quite
-alone. They did not see a crouching figure not many paces away,
-squeezed into a dark fissure of the rock. The night was too obscure
-to see anything, save where the flashing lights illumined the gloom.
-Even the wild beast glitter of a pair of fierce eyes watching intently
-passed unseen and unheeded.
-
-Monica looked out to sea with a strange fixed yearning in her dark
-eyes. She was looking towards the vessel, struck fast upon the very
-rock where she had once stood face to face with death. How well she
-remembered that moment and the strange calmness that possessed her!
-She never realised the peril she was in—it had seemed a small thing
-to her then whether she lived or died. She recalled her feelings so
-well—was she really the same Monica who had stood so calmly there
-whilst the waves leaped up as if to devour her? Where was her old, calm
-indifference now?—that strange courage prompted by the want of natural
-love for life?
-
-A sense of revelation swept over Monica at that moment. She had never
-really feared, because she had never truly loved. It was not death even
-now that she dreaded for herself, or for her husband, but separation.
-Danger, even to death, shared with him, would be almost welcome: but to
-think of his facing danger alone—that was too terrible. She pressed her
-hands closely together. It seemed as if her very soul cried to Heaven
-to keep away this dire necessity. Why she suspected its existence she
-could not have explained, but the shadow that had hung upon her all day
-seemed wrapping itself about her like a cloud.
-
-“Monica, how you tremble!” said Beatrice. “Are you cold? Are you
-afraid?”
-
-She was trembling herself, but it was with excitement and impatience.
-
-Monica did not answer, and Beatrice moved a little away. She was too
-restless to stand still.
-
-Monica did not miss her. A storm was sweeping over her soul—one of
-those storms that only perhaps come once in a life-time, and that leave
-indelible traces behind them. It seemed to her as if all her life long
-she had been waiting for this hour—as if everything in her past life
-had been but leading up to it.
-
-Had she not known from her earliest childhood that some day this
-beautiful, terrible, pitiless sea was to do her some deadly injury—to
-wreck her life and leave her desolate? Ay she had known it always—and
-now—had the hour come?
-
-Not in articulate words did Monica ask this question. It came as a sort
-of voiceless cry from the depths of her heart. She did not think, she
-did not reason—she only stood quite still, her hands closely clasped,
-her white face turned towards the sea, with a mute, stricken look of
-pain that yet expressed but a tithe of the bitter pain at her heart.
-
-But during those few minutes, that seemed a life-time to her, the
-battle had been fought out and the victory won. The old calmness had
-come back to her. She had not faced this hour all her life to be a
-coward now.
-
-She was a Trevlyn—and when had a Trevlyn ever been known to shrink or
-falter before a call of duty?
-
-Beatrice rushed back with the greatest excitement of manner.
-
-“They have a boat, but nearly all the men are away—the strong men who
-could man it easily. There are a few strong lads, who are willing and
-eager to go, and two fishermen; but there are only six in all, and they
-don’t know if it is enough. Oh, dear! oh, dear! And those poor people
-in the ship! Must they all be drowned?”
-
-“I think not,” answered Monica, quietly. “I think some means will be
-found to save them. Where is Randolph?”
-
-Randolph was beside her next moment.
-
-“Ah, if only I were a man,” Beatrice was saying, excitedly. “Ah! why
-are women so useless, so helpless? To think of them drowning within
-sight of land—and they say the sea does not run so very high. Oh, what
-will they do? They cannot let them drown! Randolph, can nothing be
-done?”
-
-“Yes, something can be done,” he answered steadily and cheerfully. “The
-boat is being run down. It will not be difficult or dangerous to launch
-her in shelter of the cliff. There are six men to man it—all they want
-is a coxswain. Monica,” he added, turning to her, and taking both her
-hands in his strong clasp, “you have taught me to navigate the Bay of
-Trevlyn so well, that I am equal to take that task upon myself. There
-are lives to be saved—the danger to the rescuing party is small, they
-say so, and I believe they speak the truth. Will you let me go?”
-
-She looked up to him with a mute entreaty in her eyes.
-
-“There are lives to be saved, my Monica,” he said, with grave
-gentleness. “Are our brothers to go down within sight of land, without
-one effort on our part to save them? Have you not wept for such scenes
-before now? Have you no pity to-night? Monica, in that vessel on the
-rocks there are men, perhaps, whose wives are waiting at home for them,
-and praying for their safety. Will you let me go?”
-
-She spoke at length with manifest effort, though her manner was quite
-calm.
-
-“Is there no one else?”
-
-“There is no one else.”
-
-For perhaps ten seconds there was perfect silence between them.
-
-“Then Randolph, I will let you go.”
-
-He bent his head and kissed her.
-
-“I knew my wife would bid me do my duty,” he said proudly; “and believe
-me, my life, the danger is not great, and already the wind seems
-abating. It is but a small vessel. In all probability one journey will
-suffice. We shall not be out of sight, save for the darkness; we shall
-be under the lee of the cliff for the best part of the way. The boat is
-sound, the men know their work. We shall soon be back in safety, please
-God, and then you will be glad that you let me go.”
-
-She lifted her head and looked at him.
-
-“Take me with you, Randolph.”
-
-“My darling, I cannot. It would not be right. We must not load the boat
-needlessly, even were there no other reason. Your presence there would
-take away half my courage, and perhaps it might necessitate leaving
-behind some poor fellow who otherwise might be saved.”
-
-Monica said no more. She knew that he spoke the truth.
-
-Her white, still face with its stricken look, went to his heart. He
-knew how strangely nervous she was on wild, windy nights. He knew it
-would be hard for her to let him go, but she had shown herself his
-brave, true Monica, as he knew she would do, and now the kindest thing
-he could do was to shorten the parting, and return to her as quickly as
-his errand would allow him.
-
-He held her a moment in his strong arms.
-
-“Good-bye, my Monica, my own sweet wife. Keep up a brave heart. Kiss me
-once and let me go. Whatever happens, we are in God’s hands. Remember
-that always.”
-
-She lifted her pale face, there was something strangely pathetic in its
-haunting beauty.
-
-“Let me see you smile before I go. Tell me again that you bid me do my
-duty.”
-
-Suddenly the old serenity and peace came back to the upturned face. The
-smile he asked for shone in her sweet eyes.
-
-“Good-bye, my Randolph—my husband—good-bye. Yes, I do bid you do your
-duty. May God bless and keep you always.”
-
-For a moment they stood together, heart pressed to heart, their lips
-meeting in one long, lingering kiss; for one moment a strange shadow as
-of farewell seemed to hang upon them, and they clung together as if no
-power on earth could separate them.
-
-The next moment he was gone, and Monica, left alone, stretched out her
-hands in the darkness.
-
-“Oh, my love! my love!”
-
-It was the one irrepressible cry from the depths of her heart; the
-next moment she repeated dreamily to herself the words that had lately
-passed her husband’s lips:
-
-“‘Whatever happens, we are in God’s hands. Remember that always.’
-Randolph, I will! I will!”
-
-A ringing cheer told her that the boat was off. Nobody had seen the
-slim figure that had slunk after Randolph down to the beach. No one,
-in the darkness and general excitement, had seen that same slim figure
-leap lightly and noiselessly into the boat, and crouch down in the
-extreme end of the bow.
-
-Conrad Fitzgerald had witnessed the parting between husband and wife;
-he had heard every word that had passed between them; and now, as he
-crouched with a tiger-like ferocity in the bottom of the boat, he
-muttered:
-
-“This time he shall not escape me!”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.
-
-WIDOWED.
-
-
-The boat launched by the rescuing party vanished in the darkness.
-Monica stood where her husband had left her in the shelter of the
-cliff, her pale face turned seawards, her eyes fixed upon the
-glimmering crests of the great waves, as they came rolling calmly in,
-in their resistless might and majesty.
-
-Beatrice had twice come back to her, to assure her with eager vehemence
-that the danger was very slight, that it was lessening every moment as
-the wind shifted and abated in force—dangerous, indeed, for the poor
-fellows in the doomed vessel that had struck upon the fatal reef, but
-not very perilous for the willing and eager and experienced crew that
-had started off to rescue them. Beatrice urged this many times upon
-Monica; but the latter stood quite still and spoke not a word; only
-gazed out to sea with the same strange yearning gaze that was like a
-mute farewell.
-
-Was it only an hour ago that she had been with her husband at home,
-telling him of the dim foreboding of coming woe that had haunted her
-all that day? It seemed to her as if she had all her life been standing
-beside the dark margin of this tempest-tossed sea, waiting the return
-of him who made all the happiness of her life—and waiting in vain.
-
-Beatrice looked at her once or twice, but did not speak again.
-Presently she moved down towards the water’s edge. Surely the boat
-would be coming back now!
-
-Suddenly there was a glad shout of triumph and joy from the
-fisher-folk, down by the brink of the sea.
-
-“Here she is!” “Here she comes!” “Steady, there!” “Ease her a bit!”
-“This way now!” “Be ready, lads!” “Here she comes!” “Now, then, all
-together!” “After this wave—NOW!”
-
-Cries, shouts, an eager confusion of tongues—the grating of a boat’s
-keel upon the beach, and then a ringing hearty cheer.
-
-“All safe?”
-
-“All saved—five of them and a lad.” “Just in time only.” “She wouldn’t
-have floated five minutes longer.” “She was going down like lead.”
-
-What noise and confusion there was—people crowding round, flitting
-figures passing to and fro in the obscurity, every one talking, all
-speaking together—such a hubbub as Beatrice had never witnessed before.
-She stood in glad, impatient expectancy on the outskirts of the little
-crowd. Why did not Randolph come away from them to Monica? Why did she
-not hear his voice with the rest? Her heart gave a sudden throb as of
-terror.
-
-“Where is Lord Trevlyn?”
-
-Her voice, sharpened by the sudden fear that had seized her, was heard
-through all the eager clamour of those who stood round. A gleam of
-moonlight, struggling through the clouds, lighted up the group for a
-moment. The words went round like wildfire: “Where is Lord Trevlyn?”
-and men looked each other in the face, growing pale with conscious
-bewilderment. Where, indeed, was Lord Trevlyn? He was certainly not
-amongst them; yet he had undoubtedly steered the boat to shore. Where
-was he now? Men talked in loud, rapid tones. Women ran hither and
-thither, wringing their hands in distressful excitement, hunting for
-the missing man with futile eagerness. What had happened? Where could
-he be?
-
-Suddenly a deep silence fell upon all; for in the brightening moonlight
-they saw that Monica stood amongst them—pale, calm and still, as a
-spirit from another world.
-
-“Tell me,” she said.
-
-The story was told by one and another. Monica was used to the people
-and their ways. She gathered without difficulty the substance of the
-story. The boat had reached, without over-much difficulty or danger,
-the sinking vessel. She was a small coaling ship, with a crew of seven
-men and a boy. Two of the former had already been washed away, and the
-vessel was sinking rapidly. The five survivors were easily rescued;
-but the lad was entangled in the rigging, and was too much exhausted
-to free himself and follow. Lord Trevlyn was the first to realise
-this, and he sprang out of the boat at some peril to himself to the
-lad’s assistance. Nobody had been able to see in the darkness what had
-passed, but all agreed that the lad had been handed to those in the
-boat by a pair of strong arms, and that after an interval of about
-three minutes—for the boat had swung round, and had to be brought back
-again, which took a little time—a man had sprung back into the boat,
-had shouted “All right!” had seized the tiller, and sung out to the
-crew to “Give way, and put off!” which they had done immediately, glad
-enough to be clear of the masts of the sinking vessel, which were in
-dangerous proximity.
-
-No one had been able in the darkness to see the face of the steersman;
-but all agreed that the voice was “a gentleman’s”; and most mysterious
-of all was the fact that the boat had been steered to shore with a
-skill that showed a thorough knowledge of the coast, and that not a man
-of those who now stood round had ever laid a hand upon the tiller.
-
-A thrill of superstitious awe ran round as this fact became known,
-together with the terrible certainty that Lord Trevlyn had _not_
-returned with them. Was it indeed a phantom hand that had guided the
-frail bark through the wild, tossing waves? The bravest man there felt
-a shiver of awe—the women sobbed, and trembled unrestrainedly.
-
-The boat was put to sea once more without a moment’s delay. The wind
-was dropping, the tide had turned, and the danger was well nigh over.
-But heads were shaken in mute despair, and old men shook their heads
-at the bare idea of the survival of any swimmer, who had been left to
-battle with the waves round the sunken reef on a stormy winter’s night.
-
-Monica stood like a statue; she heeded neither the wailing of the
-women, the murmurs of sympathy from the men, nor the clasp of
-Beatrice’s hand round her cold fingers. She saw nothing, heard nothing,
-save the tossing, the moaning of the pitiless sea.
-
-The boat came back at last—came back in dead, mournful silence. That
-silence said all that was needed.
-
-Monica stepped towards the weary, dejected men, who had just left the
-boat for the second time.
-
-“You have done all that you could,” she said gently. “I thank you from
-my heart.”
-
-And then she turned quietly away to go home—alone.
-
-No one dared follow her too closely; even Beatrice kept some distance
-behind, sick with misery and sympathetic despair. Monica’s step did not
-falter. She went back to the spot where her husband had left her, and
-stood still, looking out over the sea.
-
-“Good-bye, my love—my own dear love,” she said, very softly and calmly.
-“It has come at last, as I knew it would, when he held me in his arms
-for the last time on earth. Did he know it, too? I think he did just at
-the last. I saw it in his brave, tender face as he gave me that last
-kiss. But he died doing his duty. I will bear it for his sake.” Yet
-with an irrepressible gesture of anguish she held out her arms in the
-darkness, crying out, not loud, indeed, but from the very depth of her
-broken heart, “Ah, Randolph!—husband—my love! my love!”
-
-That was all; that one passionate cry of sorrow. After it calmness
-returned to her once more. She stepped towards Beatrice, who stood a
-little way off, and held out her hand.
-
-“Come, dear,” she said. “We must go home.”
-
-Beatrice was more agitated than Monica. She was convulsed with tearless
-sobs. She could only just command herself to stumble uncertainly up the
-steep cliff path that Monica trod with ease and freedom.
-
-The moon was shining clearly now. She could see the gaze that her
-companion turned for one moment over the tossing waste of waters. She
-caught the softly-whispered words, “Good-bye, dear love! good bye!” and
-a sudden burst of tears came to her relief; but Monica’s eyes were dry.
-
-As they entered the castle hall, they saw that the ill news had
-preceded them. Pale-faced servants, both men and women, stood awed and
-trembling, waiting, as it seemed, for their mistress. A sound as of
-hushed weeping greeted them as they entered.
-
-No one ever forgot the look upon Monica’s face as she entered her
-desolated home. It was far more sad in its unutterable calm than the
-wildest expression of grief could have been. Nobody dared to speak a
-word, save the old nurse who had tended Randolph from childhood. She
-stepped forward, the tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks.
-
-“Oh, my lady! my lady!” she sobbed.
-
-Monica paused, looked for one moment at the faithful servant; then bent
-her head, and kissed her.
-
-“Dear nurse,” she said gently, “you always loved him;” and then she
-passed quietly on to the music-room—the room that she and her husband
-had quitted together less than three hours before, and shut herself up
-there—alone.
-
-Beatrice dared not follow. She let Wilberforce take her upstairs, and
-tend her like a child, whilst they mingled their tears together over
-the brave young life cut short in its manhood’s strength and prime.
-Randolph’s nurse was no stranger to Beatrice, and it was easy for the
-good woman to speak with authority to one whom she had known as a
-child, force her to take some nourishment, and exchange wet garments
-for dry. She could not be induced to go to bed, exhausted though she
-was, but the wine and soup did her good, and the hearty burst of
-weeping had relieved her overcharged heart. She felt more like herself
-when, after an hour’s time, she went downstairs again; but, oh! what a
-different house it was from what it had been a few hours back!
-
-It was by that time eleven o’clock. Monica was still shut up in the
-music-room. Nothing had been heard of Haddon; she had hardly even given
-him a thought. She went down slowly to the hall, and found herself
-face to face with Tom Pendrill. He wore his hat and great coat. He
-had evidently just arrived in haste. As he removed the former she was
-startled at the look upon his face. She had not believed it capable of
-expressing so much feeling.
-
-“Beatrice,” he said hoarsely, “is it true?”
-
-He did not know he had called her by her Christian name, and she hardly
-noticed it at the moment. She only bent her head and answered:
-
-“Yes, it is true.”
-
-Together they passed into the lighted drawing-room, and stood on either
-side the glowing hearth, looking at each other fixedly.
-
-“Where is Monica?”
-
-“In the music-room, alone. They were there together when the guns
-began. It will kill her, I am certain it will!”
-
-“No,” answered Tom quietly; “she will not die. It would be happier for
-her if she could.”
-
-Beatrice looked at him with quivering lips.
-
-“Oh!” she said at last. “You understand her?”
-
-“Yes,” he answered absently, looking away into the fire. “I understand
-her. She will not die.”
-
-Both were very silent for a time. Then he spoke.
-
-“You were there?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Tell me about it.”
-
-“You have not heard?”
-
-“Only the barest outline. Sit down and tell me all.”
-
-She did not resent his air of authority. She sat down, and did his
-bidding. Tom listened in deep silence, weighing every word.
-
-He made no comment on the strange story; but a very dark shadow rested
-upon his sharp featured face.
-
-He was a man of keen observation and acuteness of perception, and his
-mind often leaped to a conclusion that no present premises seemed to
-justify. Not for a moment would he have given utterance to the question
-that had suggested itself to his mind; but there it was, repeating
-itself again and again with persistent iteration.
-
-“Can there have been foul play?”
-
-He spoke not a word, his face told no tales; but he was musing
-intently. Where was that half mad fellow, Fitzgerald; who some months
-ago had seemed on the high-road to drink himself to madness or death?
-He had not been heard of for some time past; but Tom could not get the
-question out of his mind.
-
-In the deep silence that reigned in the room every sound could be heard
-distinctly. Beatrice suddenly started, for they were aware that the
-door of the music-room had been opened, and that Monica was coming
-towards them. The girl turned pale, and looked almost frightened. Tom
-stood up as his hostess appeared, setting his face like a flint.
-
-The long hour that had seemed like a life-time to the wife—the
-widow—how could they bring themselves to think of her as such?—had left
-no outward traces upon Monica. Her face was calm and still, and very
-pale, but it was not convulsed by grief, and her eyes did not look as
-though they had shed tears, although there was no hardness in their
-depths. They shone with something of star-like brightness, at once
-soft and brilliant. The sweet serenity that had long been the habitual
-expression of her face seemed intensified rather than changed.
-
-“Beatrice,” she said quietly, “where is your brother?”
-
-“I don’t know.”
-
-“Has he not come in?”
-
-“Not that I know of.”
-
-“We must inquire. He has been so many hours gone. I am uneasy about
-him.”
-
-“Oh, never mind about him,” said Beatrice, quickly. “He will be all
-right.”
-
-“We must think of him,” she answered. “Tom, it was good of you to come
-back. What brought you? Did you hear?”
-
-“I heard a rumour. Of course I came back. Is there anything I can
-do?” He spoke abruptly, like a man labouring under some weight of
-oppression.
-
-“I wish you would go and inquire for Lord Haddon. Randolph sent him to
-the life-boat station, because he believed he would ride over faster
-than anybody else. I think he should be followed now, if he has not
-come back. I cannot think what can have detained him so long.”
-
-“I will go and make inquiries,” said Tom.
-
-“Thank you. I should be much obliged if you would.”
-
-But as it turned out, there was no need for him to do this. Even as
-Monica spoke they became aware of a slight stir in the hall. Uncertain,
-rapid steps crossed the intervening space, and the next moment Haddon
-stood before them in the doorway, white, drenched, dishevelled,
-exhausted, leaning as if for support against the framework, whilst his
-eyes sought those of his sister with a strange look of dazed horror.
-
-“Beatrice!” he cried, in a strained, unnatural tone. “Say it is not
-true!”
-
-Monica had stepped forward, anxious and startled at his appearance. The
-look upon her face must have brought conviction home to Haddon’s heart,
-and this terrible conviction completed the work begun by previous
-over-fatigue and exhaustion. He made two uncertain steps forward,
-looked round him in a dazed bewildered way; then putting his hand to
-his head with a sudden gesture as of pain, called out:
-
-“I say, what is it?—Look out!” and Tom had only just time to spring
-forward and guide his fall as he dropped in a dead faint upon the
-couch hard by.
-
-“Poor boy!” said Monica gently; “the shock has been too much for him.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.
-
-MONICA.
-
-
-Lord Haddon was carried upstairs by Tom’s direction, and put to bed at
-once, but it was a very long time before he recovered consciousness,
-and the doctor’s face was grave when he rejoined Monica and Beatrice an
-hour later.
-
-Afterwards they learned that he had reached the life-boat station, only
-to find the boat out in another direction, that he had lost his way
-in the darkness, and had been riding for hours over trackless moors,
-wet through by driving storms of rain, obliged often to halt, despite
-the cold and wet, to wait for passing gleams of moonlight to show him
-his way; and this after a long day’s shooting and a long fast. He had
-reached the castle at last, utterly worn out and exhausted, only to
-hear the terrible news of the death of his best friend. The strain had
-been too much, and he had given way.
-
-He awoke to consciousness only in a high state of fever, with pain in
-every joint; and Beatrice, in answer to Tom’s question, admitted that
-her brother had had a sharp attack of rheumatic fever some three years
-before, and had always been rather susceptible to cold and damp ever
-since.
-
-Tom looked gravely at Monica.
-
-“I was afraid he was in for something of that kind.”
-
-“Poor boy!” she said again, very gently. “I am so sorry. You will stay
-with us, Tom? It will be a comfort to have you.”
-
-“Of course I will stay,” he answered, in his abruptest fashion. “I
-shall sit up with Haddon to-night. You two must go to bed at once—I
-insist upon it.”
-
-“Come, Beatrice,” said Monica, holding out her hand. “We must obey
-orders you see.”
-
-As they went together up the broad staircase, Beatrice said, with a
-little sob:
-
-“I cannot bear to think of our giving you all this trouble—just now.”
-
-But Monica stopped her by a kiss.
-
-“Have you not learned by this time Beatrice, that the greatest help in
-bearing our own sorrows is to help others with their burdens? I am
-grieved for you, dear, that this other trouble should have come; but
-Tom is very clever, and we will all nurse him back to health again.
-Good-night, dearest. You must try to sleep, that you may be strong
-to-morrow.”
-
-The next day Lord Haddon was very ill—dangerously ill—the fever
-ran very high, other unfavourable symptoms had showed themselves.
-Tom’s face was grave and absorbed, and Raymond, who came over at
-his brother’s request, looked even more anxious. Yet possibly this
-alarming illness of a guest beneath her roof was the very best thing
-that could have happened, as far as Monica herself was concerned. But
-for his illness, Beatrice and her brother must have left Trevlyn at
-once; it was probable that Monica would have elected to remain there
-entirely alone during the early days of her widowhood, alone in her own
-desolation, more heart-breaking to witness than any wild abandonment
-of grief, alone without even those last melancholy offices to perform,
-without even the solemn pageantry of a funeral to give some little
-occupation to the mind, or to bring home in its own incontrovertible
-way the fact that a loved being has passed away from the world for ever.
-
-Randolph had, as it were, vanished from this life almost as if spirited
-away. There was nothing to be done, no obsequies to be performed. For
-just a few days a faint glimmer of hope existed in some minds that a
-passing vessel might have picked him up, that a telegram announcing his
-safety might yet arrive; but at the end of a week every spark of such
-hope had died out, and Monica, who had never from the first allowed
-herself to be so buoyed up, put on her heavy widow’s weeds with the
-steady unflinching calmness that had characterised her throughout.
-
-She devoted herself to the task of nursing Lord Haddon, in which task
-she showed untiring care and skill. All agreed that it was best for
-her to have her thoughts and attention occupied in some quiet labour
-of love like this, and certainly her skill at this time was such as to
-render her services almost invaluable to the patient.
-
-Haddon lay for weeks in a very critical state, racked with pain and
-burning with fever. Without being always delirious, he was not in any
-way master of himself, and no one could soothe, or quiet, or compose
-him, during these long, weary days, except Monica. She seemed to
-possess a power that acted upon him like a charm. He might not always
-know her—very often he did not appear to recognise her, but he always
-felt her influence. At her bidding he would cease the restless tossing
-and muttering that exhausted his strength and gave him much needless
-pain. He would take from her hand food that no one else could persuade
-him to touch. She could often soothe him to sleep, simply by the sound
-of her voice, or the touch of her hand upon his burning brow.
-
-“If he pulls through it will be your doing,” Tom sometimes said to
-her. And Monica felt she could not do enough for the youth, who had
-suffered all this in carrying out her husband’s last command, and who
-had succumbed when his task was done, in hearing of the fate that had
-befallen his friend.
-
-A curious bond seemed established between those two, the power of which
-he felt with a throb of keen joy almost akin to pain, when at last the
-fever was subdued, and he began to know in a feeble, uncertain sort of
-fashion, what it was that had happened, and how life had been going
-with him during the past weeks.
-
-It was of Monica he asked the account of that terrible night, and from
-her lips he learned the story to which none else had dared to allude
-in her presence. It was he who talked to her of Randolph, recalled
-incidents of the past, talked of their boyish days and the escapades
-they had indulged together, passing on to the increase of mutual
-understanding and affection that had bound them together as manhood
-advanced.
-
-Nobody else talked to her like this. Haddon never could have done so,
-had not weakness and illness brought them into such close communion
-one with another. His feelings towards Monica were those of simple
-adoration—he worshipped the very ground she trod on. He often felt
-that to die with her hand upon his head, her eyes looking gently and
-kindly into his, was all and more than he could wish. His intense
-loving devotion gave him a sort of insight into her true nature, and he
-knew by instinct that he did not hurt her when he talked to her of him
-who was gone. Perhaps from no other lips could Monica have borne that
-name to be spoken just then; but Haddon in his hours of wandering had
-talked so much of Randolph, that she had grown used to hear him speak
-of the husband she had loved and lost, and she knew by the way in which
-he had betrayed himself then how deeply and truly he loved him.
-
-When the fever had gone, and the patient lay white and weak, hardly
-able to move or speak, yet with a mind cleared from the haunting
-shadows of delirium, eager to know the history of all that had passed,
-it had not seemed very hard then, in answer to the wistful look in the
-big grey eyes, and the whispered words from the pale lips to tell him
-all the truth; and the ice once broken thus, it had been no effort to
-talk of Randolph afterwards, and to let Haddon talk of him too.
-
-This outlet did her good. She was not a woman to whom talking was
-a necessity, yet it was better for her to speak sometimes of the
-sorrow that was weighing upon her crushed spirit; and it was far, far
-easier to do this to a listener like Haddon, who from his weakness
-and prostration could rise to no great heights of sympathy, could
-offer no attempt at consolation, could only look at her with wistful
-earnestness, and murmur a broken word from time to time, than it would
-have been to those who would have met her with a burst of tears, or
-with those quiet caresses and marks of sympathy that must surely have
-broken down her hardly-won composure and calm.
-
-So this illness of Haddon’s had really been a boon to her, and perhaps
-to others as well; but for a few weeks Monica’s life seemed passed in
-a sort of dream, and she was able to notice but little that passed
-around her. She was wrapped in a strange trance—she lived in the past
-with her husband, who sometimes hardly seemed to have left her. Only
-when ministering to the needs of the young earl did she arouse herself
-from her waking dream, and even then it sometimes seemed as if the
-dream were the reality, and the reality a dream.
-
-Tom was a great deal at Trevlyn just now. For a long time Haddon’s
-condition was so exceedingly critical that his presence was almost a
-necessity, and when the patient gradually became convalescent, Monica
-needed his help in getting through the business formalities that began
-to crowd upon her when all hopes of Randolph’s rescue became a thing of
-the past.
-
-Monica was happy at least in this—there was no need for her to leave
-her old home—no new earl to claim Trevlyn, and banish her from the
-place she loved best in the world. The Trevlyns were a dying race, as
-it seemed. Randolph and Monica were the last of their name, and the
-entail expired with him. Trevlyn was hers, as well as all her husband’s
-property. She was a rich woman, but in the first instance it was
-difficult to understand the position, and she naturally turned in her
-perplexity to Tom Pendrill, who was a thorough man of business, shrewd
-and hard-headed, and who, from his long acquaintance and connection
-with Trevlyn, understood more about the estate than anybody else she
-could have selected. He was very good to her, as she always said.
-He put himself entirely at her disposal, and played the part of a
-kind and wise brother. His dry, matter-of-fact manner of dealing with
-transfer of property, and such-like matters, was in itself a comfort.
-She was never afraid of talking things over with him. He kept sentiment
-studiously and entirely in the back-ground. Although she knew perfectly
-that his sympathy for her was very great, he never obtruded it upon her
-in the least; it was offered and accepted in perfect silence on both
-sides.
-
-Mrs. Pendrill, too, was a good deal at Trevlyn. She yearned over Monica
-in the days of her early widowhood, and she had grown very fond of
-Beatrice and her brother. Haddon wanted so very much care and nursing
-that Mrs. Pendrill’s presence in the house was often a help to all.
-Whilst Monica was in the sick room, she and Beatrice spent many long
-hours together, and strange intimacy of thought sprang up between those
-two who were so far from each other in age and position. Haddon, too,
-was fond of the gentle-faced old lady, and he loved sometimes to get
-her all to herself, and make her talk to him of Monica.
-
-His illness had left its traces upon the earl. He had, despite his
-five-and-twenty years, seemed but a lad all this while; but when he
-left his bed, it was curious to see how much of boyishness had passed
-out of his face, how much quiet, thoughtful manliness had taken its
-place.
-
-Nobody quite knew how or why this change had been so marked. Perhaps
-the shock of his friend’s death had had something to do with it:
-perhaps the danger he had himself been in. Very near indeed to the
-gates of death had the young man stood. He had almost trodden the
-shadowy valley, even though his steps had been retraced to the land of
-the living. Perhaps it was this knowledge that made him pass as it were
-in one bound from boyhood to manhood—or was there some other cause at
-work?
-
-His face wore a look of curious purpose and resolution, oddly combined
-with a sort of mute, determined patience: his pale, sharpened face,
-that had changed so much during the past weeks, was changed in
-expression even more than in contour. His grey eyes, once always full
-of boyish merriment and laughter, were grave and earnest now: the eyes
-of a man full of thought, expressive of a hidden yet resolute purpose.
-These hollow eyes followed Monica about with unconscious persistency,
-and rested upon her with a sense of perfect content. When he grew a
-little stronger, and could just rise from the sofa and trail himself
-across the room, it was strange to mark how eager he was to render her
-those little instinctive attentions that come naturally from a man to a
-woman.
-
-Sometimes Monica would accept them with a smile, oftener she would
-restrain him with a gentle commanding gesture, and bid him keep quiet
-till he was stronger; but she accepted his chivalrous admiration in
-the spirit in which it was offered, and let him look upon himself as
-her especial knight, as well he might, since to her skill and care Tom
-plainly told him he owed his life.
-
-She let him talk to her of Randolph, though none of the others dared to
-breathe that name. Sometimes she played to him in the dimness of the
-music-room—and even he hardly knew how privileged he was to be admitted
-there. She regarded him in the light of a loved brother, and felt
-tenderly towards him, as one who had done and suffered much in the same
-cause that had cost her gallant husband his life. What he felt towards
-her would be more difficult to analyse. At present he simply worshipped
-her, with a humble, devout singleness of purpose that elevated his
-whole nature. The vague, fleeting, distant hope that some day it might
-be given to him to comfort her had hardly yet entered into the region
-of conscious thought.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH
-
-HAUNTED.
-
-
-Christmas had come and gone whilst Lord Haddon lay hovering between
-life and death. As the year turned, he began to regain health and
-strength; but his progress was exceedingly slow, and all idea of
-leaving Trevlyn was for the present entirely out of the question. A
-journey in mid-winter was not to be thought of. It would be enough to
-bring the whole illness back again; and Monica would not listen when he
-sometimes said, with diffidence and appeal, that he feared they were
-encroaching too much upon her hospitality and goodness. In truth,
-neither brother nor sister were in haste to leave Trevlyn, or to leave
-Monica alone in her desolate widowhood; and as Haddon’s state of health
-rendered a move out of the question, the situation was accepted with
-the more readiness.
-
-Monica was able now to resume something of the even tenor of her
-way, to take up her daily round of duties, and shape out her life in
-accordance with her strangely altered circumstances.
-
-All the old sense of dread connected with the sea had now vanished
-entirely. It never frowned upon her now. It was her friend always—the
-haunting presentiment of dread had passed away with the actual
-certainty. Henceforward nothing could hold for her any great measure of
-terror. She had passed through the very worst already.
-
-Sometimes Monica had a strange feeling that she was not alone during
-her favourite twilight pacings by the sea. She had a sense of being
-watched—followed—and the uneasiness of the dogs added to this
-impression. It troubled her but little, however. She had no fears for
-herself—she knew, too, that she was a little fanciful, and that it was
-hardly likely in reality that her footsteps were dogged.
-
-But one dim January evening, as she pursued her way along the margin
-of the sea, she was startled by seeing some large object lying dark
-upon the pebbly beach. Her heart beat more fast than was its wont, for
-she saw as she approached that it was the figure of a man, lying face
-downwards upon the damp stones.
-
-He did not look like a fisherman, he was too well dressed, and there
-seemed something not altogether unfamiliar in the aspect of the
-slight, well-proportioned figure. For a moment she could not recall
-the association, but as the dogs ran up snuffing and growling, the
-man started and sat up, revealing the pale, haggard face of Conrad
-Fitzgerald.
-
-Monica recoiled with an instinctive gesture of aversion. She had not
-seen him since those summer days when she had been haunted by the
-vision of his vindictive face and sinister eyes. But how he had changed
-since then! She could not help looking at him, he was so pale, so thin;
-his face was lined as if by pain, and his fiery eyes were set in deep
-hollows. There was something rather awful in his appearance, yet he did
-not look so wicked, so repulsive, as he had done many times before.
-
-A strange look of terror gleamed in his eyes as they met those of
-Monica.
-
-“Go away!” he cried wildly. “What do you come here for? Why do you look
-at me like that? Go—in mercy, go!”
-
-Monica was startled at his wild words and looks. Surely he was mad. But
-if so, she must show no fear of him; she knew enough to be aware of
-that.
-
-“What are you doing out here in the dark?” she said. “You ought not to
-be lying there this cold night. You had better go home, or you will
-lose your way in the dark.”
-
-He laughed wildly.
-
-“Lose my way in the dark! It is always dark now—always, since that dark
-night—ha! ha!—that night!” His laugh was terrible in its wild despair.
-“Why do you look at me? Why do you speak to me? You should not! You
-should not! You would not if——oh, God! are you a ghost too?”
-
-Such an awful look of horror shone out of his eyes that Monica’s blood
-ran cold. His gaze was fixed on vacancy. He looked straight at her, yet
-as if he did not see her, but something beyond. The anguish and despair
-painted upon that wild, yet still beautiful, face smote Monica’s heart
-with a sense of deep sorrow and pity.
-
-“I am no ghost, Conrad,” she answered gently, trying if the sound of
-the old name would drive that wild madness out of his eyes. “Why are
-you afraid? What are you looking at? There is nothing there.”
-
-For his eyes were still glaring wildly into the darkness beyond, and as
-Monica spoke he lifted his arm, and pointed to something out at sea.
-
-“Don’t look at me!” he whispered hoarsely, yet not as if he addressed
-Monica. “Don’t speak to me! If you speak, I shall go mad! I shall go
-mad, I say! Why do you haunt me so? Why do you look always like that?
-I had a right—all is fair in love and war—and hate! Why did you give
-me the chance? I had a vow—a vow in heaven—or hell! Ah! ha! Revenge is
-sweet, after all!” and he burst into a wild, discordant laugh, dreadful
-to hear.
-
-Monica shuddered, a sense of horror creeping over her. She did
-not catch the whole of his words, lost as that hoarse whisper was
-sometimes in the sullen plash of the advancing waves. The words were
-not addressed to her, but to some imaginary object visible only to the
-eye of madness. She attached no meaning to what she heard. She had
-no clue by which to unravel the workings of his disordered mind. Yet
-it was terrible to see his terror-stricken face, and listen to the
-exclamations addressed to a phantom foe. She tried to recall him to
-himself.
-
-“Conrad, there is no one here but ourselves. You have been dreaming.”
-
-Conrad turned his wild eyes towards her, but continued to point wildly
-over the sea.
-
-“Can you not see him? There—out there! His head—his eyes—ah, those
-eyes!—as he looked _then_—then! Ah, don’t look so at me, I say! You
-will kill me!”
-
-He buried his face in his hands and shuddered from head to foot.
-Monica, despite the shiver of horror that crept over her, felt more
-strongly than anything else a deep pity for one whose mind was so
-visibly shattered. Much of the past could be condoned to one whose
-mental faculties were so terribly unstrung. She came one step nearer,
-and laid her hand upon his arm.
-
-“You should not be out here alone,” she said. “You had better go home.
-It is growing dark already. If you will come with me to the lodge,
-I will see that you have a lantern; or, if you like, I will send a
-servant with a lantern with you.” She felt, indeed, that he was hardly
-in a condition to be out alone. She wished Tom Pendrill could see him
-now. But at the touch of her hand Conrad sprang back as if she had
-struck him. His eyes were full of shrinking horror.
-
-“Go away!” he said fiercely, “your hand burns me—it burns me, I say!
-How can you look at me or touch me? What have I done that you come here
-day by day to torment me? Is it not enough that _he_ leaves me no peace
-night or day?—that he brings me down to this cursed place, whether I
-will or no, but you must haunt me too? Ah, it is too much—it is too
-much, I say!”
-
-She could not catch all these rapidly-uttered words, but she read the
-hopeless misery of his face.
-
-“I do not wish to distress you, Conrad. Will you go home quietly now?
-You are not well; you should not be out here alone. Have you anybody
-there to take care of you?”
-
-He laughed again, and flung his arms above his head with a wild gesture
-of despair.
-
-“You say this to me—you! you! It only wanted this. My God, this is too
-much!”
-
-He turned from her and sprang away in the darkness. She heard his steps
-as he dashed recklessly up the cliff path—so recklessly that she half
-expected to hear the sound of a slip and a fall—and then as he reached
-the summit and turned inland, they died away into silence.
-
-Monica drew a long breath of relief when she found herself alone.
-There was something expressibly awful in talking alone to a madman in
-the dimness of the dying day, in hearing his wild words addressed to
-some phantom shadow seen only by his disordered vision. She shivered
-a little as she turned towards him. She could stay no longer in that
-lonely place.
-
-She met Tom looking out for her on her return. He said something about
-her staying out too long in the darkness. She laid her hand upon his
-arm, and pacing up and down the dark avenue, she told him of her
-adventure with the madman.
-
-“Tom, I am certain he ought to see a doctor. Will you not see if you
-can do something for him?”
-
-She could not see the expression of Tom’s face. Had she been able to
-do so, she would have been startled. His voice was very cold as he
-answered:
-
-“I am not a lunacy commissioner, Monica.”
-
-She was surprised, and a little hurt.
-
-“You are very hard, Tom. You saw him once before, why not again?”
-
-“If he, or his friends for him, require medical advice, I suppose they
-are capable of sending for it,” he said, adding with sudden fierceness,
-as it seemed to her, “Monica, Conrad Fitzgerald, ill or well, is
-nothing to you. It is not fit you should waste a single thought upon
-that scoundrel again!”
-
-She was surprised at his vehemence; it was so unlike Tom to speak with
-heat. What had there been in her account of the meeting to discompose
-him so greatly? Before she could attempt to frame the question, he had
-asked one of her—asked it abruptly, as it seemed irrelevantly.
-
-“How long has Fitzgerald been in these parts?”
-
-“I don’t know? I have never seen him till to-night, nor heard of him at
-all?”
-
-“Nor I. Go in, Monica. It is too late for you to be out.”
-
-“And you?”
-
-“I will come presently.”
-
-“And you will think about what I asked you?”
-
-“I will think about it—yes.”
-
-The tone was enigmatic. She could not make Tom out at all, but she went
-in at his bidding. She knew that he wished to be alone, that he had
-something disturbing upon his mind, though what it was she could not
-divine.
-
-Tom, as it turned out, had no choice in the matter; for his brother
-sent to him next day a message to the effect that Fitzgerald’s servant
-had been to him with a very sad account of his master, who seemed to be
-suffering under an acute attack of delirium tremens. Raymond thought
-his brother, who had seen him once before, had better go the next day
-in a casual sort of way, and see if he could do anything. Fitzgerald
-was furious at the idea of having a doctor near him; but possibly he
-would not regard Tom in that light, and the servants would do all they
-could to obtain for him access to their master. They were terrified at
-his ravings, and half afraid he would do himself or them an injury if
-not placed under proper control.
-
-So Tom, upon the following afternoon, started for the old dilapidated
-house, without saying a word to anyone as to his destination, and was
-eagerly admitted by a haggard-looking servant, who said that his master
-was “terrible bad to-day—it was awful like to hear him go on,” and
-expressed it as his opinion that he was almost past knowing who was
-near him, he was so wild and delirious. He had kept his bed for the
-past two days, having been very ill since coming in, wet and exhausted,
-on the night Monica had seen him. Between the attacks of delirium he
-was as weak as a child; and with this much of warning and explanation,
-Tom was ushered upstairs.
-
-An hour later he left that desolate house with a quick, firm tread,
-that broke, as he turned a corner and was concealed from view, almost
-to a run. His face was very pale; it looked thinner and sharper than
-it had done an hour before, and his eyes were full of an unspeakable
-horror. Now and again a sort of shudder ran through his frame; but
-no word passed his tightly-compressed lips. He hurried through the
-tangled park as if some deadly malaria lurked there. He hardly drew his
-breath until he had left the trees and brake behind, and had plunged
-into the wild trackless moor; even then, goaded by his thoughts, he
-plunged blindly along for a mile or more, until at last, breathless and
-exhausted, he sank face downwards upon the heather, trembling in every
-limb.
-
-How long he lay there he never knew. He was roused at last by a touch
-upon his shoulder, and raising himself with a start, he looked straight
-into the startled eyes of Beatrice Wentworth.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.
-
-LOVERS.
-
-
-Tom sprang to his feet, and the two stood gazing at one another for a
-moment in mute surprise.
-
-“You are ill,” said Beatrice; “you are as white as a sheet. What is the
-matter?”
-
-She spoke anxiously. She looked half frightened at his strange looks;
-he saw it, and recovered himself instantly. It was perhaps the first
-time he had ever been taken unawares, and he was not altogether pleased
-that it had happened now.
-
-“What are you doing out here all alone?” he asked peremptorily.
-
-“What are you doing lying on the ground on a cold January evening?” she
-retorted. “Do you want to get rheumatic fever, too?”
-
-“Answer my question first. What are you doing out here, miles away from
-home, with the darkness coming on, too?”
-
-“I lost my way,” she answered carelessly. “I never can keep my bearings
-in these strange, wild places, where everything looks alike.”
-
-“Then I must take you home,” said Tom shortly.
-
-“You said you were going to dine at St. Maws to-night,” she objected.
-
-“I shall take you home first,” he said.
-
-“It will be ever so much out of your road. Just show me the way. I
-shall find it fast enough.”
-
-“I dare say—After having lost it in broad daylight. You must come with
-me. I cannot trust you.”
-
-Beatrice flushed hotly as she turned and walked beside him. Was more
-meant than met the ear?
-
-“There is not the least need you should,” she said haughtily, and
-seemed disposed to say no more.
-
-Tom spoke first, spoke in his abrupt peremptory fashion. He was
-absorbed and distrait. She tried not to feel disappointed at his words.
-
-“Lady Beatrice, is it true that you knew Randolph Trevlyn intimately
-for many years?”
-
-“Ever since I can remember. He was almost like a brother to us.”
-
-“Do you know if he ever had an enemy?”
-
-Beatrice looked up quickly into his pale face.
-
-“Why do you ask?”
-
-“That is my affair. I do not ask without a reason. Think before you
-answer—if you can.”
-
-“Randolph was always such a favourite,” she began, but was interrupted
-by a quick impatient gesture from Tom.
-
-“Don’t chatter,” he said, almost rudely, “think!”
-
-Oddly enough this brusque reminder did not offend her. She saw that
-Tom’s nerves were all on edge, that they were strung to a painful
-pitch of tension. She began to catch some of his earnestness and
-determination.
-
-Beatrice was taken out of herself, and from that moment her manner
-changed for the better. She thought the matter over in silence.
-
-“I have heard that Sir Conrad Fitzgerald had an old grudge against him.”
-
-“Ah!” breathed Tom softly.
-
-“But I fancied, perhaps, that Monica’s influence had made them friends.
-Randolph knew some disreputable story connected with Sir Conrad’s past
-life—Haddon knows more about it than I do—and he always hated him for
-it.”
-
-“Ah!” said Tom again.
-
-“Why do you ask?” questioned Beatrice again; but he gave her no answer.
-He was wrapped in deep thought. She looked at him once or twice, but
-said no more. He was the first to speak, and the question was a little
-significant.
-
-“You were down on the shore with Monica and Trevlyn that night, were
-you not?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Was Fitzgerald there, too?”
-
-She looked at him with startled eyes.
-
-“No; certainly not.”
-
-“Can you be sure of that? Was there moon enough to show plainly
-everything that went on?”
-
-Beatrice put up her hand to her head.
-
-“No,” she answered. “I ought not to have spoken so positively. It was
-too dark to see anything. There might have been dozens of people there
-whom I might never have seen. I was much too anxious and excited
-to keep a sharp look-out—why should I?—and there was not a gleam of
-moonlight till many minutes after the boat got back, and the confusion
-was very great all the time. Why do you talk so? Why do you ask such a
-question?”
-
-She spoke with subdued excitement and insistance.
-
-“_Somebody_ was in that boat unknown to the crew,” he answered
-significantly.
-
-“Was there?”
-
-“Somebody steered the boat to shore. You do not share, I presume, in
-the popular belief of the phantom coxswain?”
-
-Beatrice stopped short, trembling and scared.
-
-“You think——?” but she could only get out those two words; she knew not
-how to frame the question.
-
-He bent his head. “I do.”
-
-But she put out her hand with a quick, passionate gesture, as if
-fighting with some hideous phantom.
-
-“Ah! no! no! It could not be. It would be too unspeakably awful—too
-horrible! How do you know? How can you say such things? What has put
-such a hideous thought into your mind?”
-
-“I came from standing by Fitzgerald’s bed, listening to his words of
-wandering, his delirious outbursts. It is plain enough what phantoms
-are haunting him now—what pictures he is seeing, as he lies in the
-stupor of drink and opium. He is trying to drown thought and remorse,
-but he has not succeeded yet.”
-
-Beatrice shuddered strongly, and faltered a little in her walk. Tom
-took her hand and placed it within his arm.
-
-“You are tired, Beatrice?”
-
-“No; but it is so awful. Tom”—calling him so as unconsciously as he had
-called her Beatrice—“must Monica know this? Oh! it was cruel enough
-before—but this——”
-
-“She shall never know,” said Tom quickly. “To what end should we add
-this burden to what she carries now? No one could prove it—it may be
-nothing more than some sick fancy, engendered by the thought of what
-might have been. Mind you, I have no moral doubts myself; but the man
-is practically mad, and no confession or evidence given by him would be
-accepted. He has fulfilled his vow—he has murdered—practically murdered
-his foe; but Monica must be spared the knowledge: she must never know.”
-
-“No, never! never!” cried Beatrice; and her voice expressed so much
-feeling, that Tom turned and looked at her in the fading light.
-
-“Have you a heart after all, Beatrice?” he asked.
-
-She made no answer; her heart beat wildly, answering in its own fashion
-the question asked, but not in a way that he could hear.
-
-“Beatrice,” rather fiercely, “why did you not marry the marquis?”
-
-“Because I loathed him.”
-
-“You did not always loathe him?”
-
-“I did, I did, always.”
-
-“You flirted with him disgracefully, then.”
-
-She looked up with something of pleading in her dark eyes.
-
-“I was but eighteen.”
-
-“Do you never flirt now?”
-
-She looked up again, her eyes flashing strangely.
-
-“What right have you to ask such a question?”
-
-“The right of the man who loves you,” he answered, in the same
-half-fierce, half-bitter way—“who loves you with every fibre of his
-being; and although he has proved you vain and frivolous and heartless
-once and again, cannot tear your image from his heart. Do not think
-I am complaining. I suppose you have a right to please yourself; but
-sometimes I feel as if no man had ever been treated so abominably as I
-have been by you.”
-
-“You by me!” she answered, panting in her excitement, “when it was you
-who left me in a fury, without one word of farewell.”
-
-“I thought I had had my _congé_ pretty distinctly.”
-
-“You had had nothing of the kind—nothing but a few wild confused
-words from a mere child, frightened and bewildered by happiness and
-nervousness into the silliest of speeches a silly girl could make at
-such a moment. But you cannot understand—you never will—you are made of
-stone, I think.”
-
-He turned upon her quickly.
-
-“I wish I were, sometimes,” he said; “I wish it when I am near you. You
-make me love you—I am powerless in your hands, and you—you——”
-
-“I love you with all my heart. I have never loved anybody else, and you
-have behaved cruelly, disgracefully to me always.” The words came all
-at once in one vehement burst of passion.
-
-He stopped short, wheeled round, and stood facing her. He could only
-just see her face as they stood thus in the gathering dusk.
-
-“Beatrice,” he said, slowly, “what did you say just now? Say it again.”
-
-Defiance shone out of her eyes.
-
-“I will not!” she said, her cheeks flaming.
-
-He took both her hands in his and held them hard.
-
-“Yes you will,” he answered. “Say it again.”
-
-She was panting with a strange mixture of feeling; the earth and sky
-seemed to spin round together.
-
-“Say it again, Beatrice.”
-
-“I said—I loved you; but I don’t—I will never, never say it again——”
-
-She got no farther, for he held her so closely in his arms that all
-speech was impossible for the moment.
-
-“That will do,” he answered. “I don’t want you to say it again. Once is
-enough.”
-
- * * * * *
-
-“Monica,” said Beatrice in the softest of whispers as she came into the
-quiet room where her brother lay asleep upon the sofa, and Monica sat
-dreaming beside the fire. “Ah, Monica, Monica!” and then she stopped
-short, kneeling down, and turning her quivering face and swimming eyes
-towards the face bent tenderly over her.
-
-Somehow it was never needful to say much to Monica. She always
-understood without many words. She bent her head now, and kissed
-Beatrice.
-
-“Is it so, then, dear?” she asked.
-
-“Did you know?”
-
-“I knew what you told me yourself, and I could see for myself that he
-had not forgotten any more than you.”
-
-“I did not see it.”
-
-“Possibly not—neither did he; but sometimes love is very blind—and very
-wilful too.”
-
-Was there a touch of tender reproach in the tone? Beatrice looked at
-her earnestly.
-
-“I know what you mean,” she said. “We both want to be master; but I
-think—I am afraid—he will have the upper hand now.”
-
-But the smile that quivered over the upturned face was full of such
-sweetness and brightness that Monica kissed her again.
-
-“You will not find him such a tyrant as he professes to be. Tom is very
-generous and unselfish, despite his affectation of cynicism. I am so
-glad you have made him happy at last. I am so glad that our paths in
-life will not lie very widely apart.”
-
-Beatrice took Monica’s hand and kissed it.
-
-“I am so happy,” she said simply. “And I owe it all to you.”
-
-Monica caressed the dark head laid against her knee, as Beatrice
-subsided into her favourite lowly position at Monica’s feet. Presently
-she became aware that the girl’s tears were falling fast.
-
-“Crying, dearest?” she questioned gently.
-
-A stifled sob was the answer.
-
-“What is the matter, my child?”
-
-“Randolph!” was all that Beatrice could get out. Somehow the desolation
-of Monica’s life had never come home to her with quite the same sense
-of realisation as now, in the hour of her deepest happiness.
-
-“He would be glad,” answered Monica, steadily and sweetly. “He loved
-you dearly, Beatrice; and he and Tom were always such friends. It was
-his hope that all would come right. If he can see us now, as I often
-think he can, he will be rejoicing in your happiness now. You must shed
-no tears to-night, dearest, unless they are tears of happiness.”
-
-Beatrice suddenly half rose, and hung her arms round Monica.
-
-“How can you bear it? How can you bear it? Monica, I think you are an
-angel. No one in this wide world was ever like you. And to think——” she
-shuddered strongly and stopped short.
-
-“You are excited and over-wrought,” said Monica gently. “You must not
-let yourself be knocked up, or Tom will scold me when he comes back.
-See, Haddon is waking up. He had such a bad headache, poor boy; I hope
-he has slept it off. You must tell him the news—it will please him I am
-sure.”
-
-“You tell him,” whispered Beatrice, and slipped away to relieve her
-over-burdened heart by a burst of tears; for one strange revelation
-following upon another had tried her more than she had known at the
-time.
-
-Haddon was quietly pleased at the news. He liked Tom; he had fancied
-that he and Beatrice were not altogether indifferent to each other, so
-this conclusion did not take him altogether by surprise. He was sorry
-to think of losing Beatrice, but not as perplexed as he would have been
-some months before. Life looked different to him now—more serious and
-earnest. He began to have aspirations of his own. He no longer regarded
-existence as a sort of pleasant easy game of play.
-
-Certainly it seemed as if the course of true love as regarded Beatrice
-and Tom, after passing its early shoals and quicksands, were to run
-quietly and smoothly enough now. He came back from St. Maws in time for
-dinner, and when dessert was put on the table, he announced his plans
-with the hardihood characteristic of the man.
-
-“Aunt Elizabeth is delighted, Beatrice, and so is Raymond,” he said.
-“I have told them that we will be married almost at once, within two
-months, at least—oh, you needn’t look like that. I think I’ve waited
-long enough—pretty well as long as Jacob——”
-
-“Did for Leah—and didn’t like her in the end—don’t make that your
-precedent.”
-
-“Well, don’t interrupt,” proceeded Tom imperturbably. “We’ve got
-it all beautifully arranged. I’m going to take part of the regular
-practice, as Raymond has always been bothering me to do ever since
-it increased so much, and we’re to have half the house for our
-establishment, and he and Aunt Elizabeth the other. It was originally
-two houses, and lends itself excellently to that arrangement, though I
-dare say practically we shall be all one household, as you and our aunt
-have managed to hit it off so well. Monica, can’t Beatrice be married
-from Trevlyn when Haddon is well enough to give her away? It would
-save a lot of bother. I hate flummery, and I’m sure she does too. Come
-now, Beatrice, don’t laugh. Don’t you think that would be an excellent
-arrangement? Here we are; what is the good of getting all split up
-again? You’ll be losing your heart to another marquis if I let you out
-of my sight.”
-
-Her eyes were dancing with mischievous merriment. She was more than
-ready to enter the lists.
-
-“Just listen to the tyrant—trying to keep me a prisoner already! trying
-to take everything into his own hands—and not content without adding
-insult to injury!”
-
-His eyes too were alight; but his mouth was grim.
-
-“I have not forgotten how you served me last time, my lady.”
-
-“At Oxford?”
-
-“At Oxford.”
-
-“Monica, listen. I will tell you how I served him. I had eyes for no
-one but him, silly girl that I was; I was with him morning, noon and
-night. Child as I was at the time, careless and inexperienced, even
-_I_ was absolutely ashamed at the open preference I showed him; I blush
-even now to think of the undisguised way in which I flung myself at
-a particularly hard head. And yet he pretends he did not understand!
-If that is so, then for real, downright, hopeless stupidity and
-obtuseness, commend me to an Oxford double-first-class-man!”
-
-Beatrice might get the best of it in an encounter of tongues, but Tom
-had his own way in the settlement of their affairs, possibly because
-her resistance was but a pretence. What, indeed, had they to wait for,
-when they had been waiting so many long years for one another?
-
-Nothing clouded the horizon of their happiness. Even the hideous shadow
-which had been in a sense the means of bringing them together seemed
-to have vanished with the sudden disappearance of Conrad Fitzgerald
-from the neighbourhood. Upon the very day following Tom’s visit to
-him, he left his house, ill and weak as he was, to join his sister at
-Mentone. His servant accompanied him. The desolate house was shut up
-once more, and Tom Pendrill sincerely hoped that the haunting baleful
-influence of that wild and wicked nature had passed from their lives
-for ever.
-
-And Beatrice after all was married at Trevlyn, in the little cliff
-church that had seen the hands of Randolph and Monica joined in
-wedlock. She resisted a good while, feeling afraid that it would be
-painful to Monica—a second wedding, and that within a few months of her
-own widowhood. But Monica took part with Tom, and the bride elect gave
-way, only too delighted at heart to be with Monica to the very last.
-
-It was a very quiet wedding—as quiet as Monica’s own—even the people
-gathered together in the little church had hardly changed. Only one
-short year had passed since Monica in her snowy robes had stood before
-that little altar, with the marriage vow upon her lips—only a year ago,
-and now?
-
-Yet Monica’s face was very calm and sweet. She shed no tears, she
-seemed to have no sad thoughts for herself, however others might feel.
-One pair of grey eyes seldom wandered from her face as the simple
-ceremonies of the day proceeded. One heart was far more occupied with
-thoughts of the pale-faced widow than of the blooming bride.
-
-Haddon quitted Trevlyn almost immediately after his sister. The words
-of thanks he tried to speak faltered on his tongue, and would not come.
-
-Monica understood, and answered by one of her sweetest smiles.
-
-“You were Randolph’s friend; you are my friend now. You must not try
-to thank me. I am so very glad to think of the link that binds us
-together. I shall not lose sight of you whilst Beatrice is so near. You
-will come again some day?”
-
-“Yes, Lady Trevlyn,” he answered quietly, “I will come again;” and he
-raised the hand he held for one moment very reverently to his lips.
-
-As he drove away he looked back, and saw Monica still standing upon the
-terrace.
-
-“Yes,” he said quietly to himself, “I will come back—some day.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.
-
-“AS WE FORGIVE.”
-
-
-A year had passed away since that fatal night when Randolph had left
-his wife standing on the shore—had gone away in the darkness and had
-returned no more: a year had passed, with its chequered lights and
-shades, but the anniversary of her husband’s death found Monica, as he
-had left her, at Trevlyn—alone.
-
-Many things had happened during that year. Beatrice had married and
-settled happily in the picturesque red house at St. Maws as Tom
-Pendrill’s loving, brilliant wife. Monica had been to Germany once
-again, to assure herself with her own eyes of the truth of the
-favourable reports sent to her. She had had the satisfaction of seeing
-how great an improvement had taken place in Arthur’s condition; that
-although the cure was slow—would most likely need a second, possibly
-even a third year before it would be absolutely complete, yet it was
-practically certain, if he and those who held his fate in their hands
-would but have patience and perseverance. The boy was quite happy in
-the establishment of which he was a member. He had gone through the
-most trying part of the treatment, and was enthusiastic about the
-kindness and skill of his doctor. He had made many friends, and had
-quite lost the home-sickness that had occasionally troubled him at
-first. He was delighted to see Monica again. He was insistant that she
-should come to see him often; but he did not even wish to return to
-Trevlyn till he could do so whole and sound, as a man in good health
-and strength, instead of a helpless invalid.
-
-Monica was summoned from Germany by the news of the dangerous illness
-of Lady Diana, who died only a few days after the arrival of her niece.
-She had been talking of making a permanent home at Trevlyn now that
-Monica was so utterly alone, but her death stopped all such schemes;
-and so it came about that in absolute solitude the young widowed
-countess took up her abode for the winter in the great silent castle
-beside the sea.
-
-The sea still exercised its old fascination over Monica. Her happiest
-hours were spent wandering by its brink or riding along the breezy
-cliff. It was a friend indeed to her in those days, it frowned upon her
-no more. It had done its worst already—it had taken away the light of
-her life. Might it not be possible—was there not something of promise
-in its eternal music? Could it be that in some unexpected, mysterious
-way it would bring back some of the light that had been taken
-away—would be the means of uniting once again the hearts that had been
-so cruelly sundered? Strange thoughts and fancies flitted often through
-her brain, formless and indistinct, but comforting withal.
-
-Returning to the castle at dusk one day, after one of these solitary
-rambles, she found an unusual bustle and excitement stirring there.
-Wilberforce hurried forward to explain the cause of the unwonted
-tumult.
-
-“I hope I have not done wrong, my lady. You were not here to give
-orders, and I could only act as I felt you would wish. A lad came
-running in with a scared face not half an hour back, saying there was a
-man lying at the foot of the cliffs, as if he had fallen over. I scarce
-think he can be alive if that be so; but I told the men that if he
-was—as there is no other decent house near—I thought you would wish——”
-
-“That he should be brought here. Quite right, Wilberforce. Is there a
-room ready? Has Mr. Pendrill been sent for?”
-
-“The groom has gone this twenty minutes. Living or dead, he must have a
-doctor to him. The maids are getting the east room ready, yet I doubt
-if he can be living after such a fall.”
-
-“He may not have fallen over the cliff. He may have been scaling it,
-and have dropped from but a small height. See that everything likely to
-be needed is ready. He may be here almost immediately now.”
-
-She went up to the bed-room herself, to see if it were ready should
-there be need. It was probably only some poor tramp or fisherman who
-had met with the accident—no matter, he should be tended at Trevlyn, he
-should lie in its most comfortable guest-chamber, he should have every
-care that wealth could supply. Monica knew too well the dire results
-that might follow a slip down those hard, treacherous cliffs not to
-feel peculiarly tender and solicitous over another victim.
-
-The steady tramp of feet ascending the stairs and approaching the
-room where she stood, roused Monica to the knowledge that the injured
-man was not dead, and that they were bringing him up to be tended and
-nursed as she had directed. The door was pushed open; six men carried
-in their burden upon an improvised stretcher, and laid it just as it
-was upon the bed. Monica stepped forward, and then started, growing a
-little pale; for she recognised in the death-like rigid face before her
-the well-known countenance of Conrad Fitzgerald.
-
-She could not look without a shudder at that shattered frame,
-and Wilberforce shook her head gravely, marvelling that he yet
-breathed. None save professional hands dared touch him, so distorted
-and dislocated was every limb; and yet by one of those strange
-coincidences, not altogether uncommon in cases of accident, the
-beautiful face was entirely untouched, not marred by a scratch or
-contusion. Death-like unconsciousness had set its seal upon those
-chiselled, marble features, and had wiped from them every trace of
-passion or of vice.
-
-Tom Pendrill was amongst them long before they looked for him. He had
-met the messenger not far from Trevlyn, and had come at once. He turned
-Monica out of the room with a stern precipitancy that perplexed her
-somewhat, as did also the expression of his face, which she did not
-understand. He shut himself up with his patient, retaining the services
-of Wilberforce and one of the men.
-
-It was two hours before she saw him again.
-
-Monica wandered up and down the dark hall, revolving many things in
-her mind. What had brought Conrad so suddenly back at this melancholy
-time of the year? She had believed him abroad with his sister, with
-whom he seemed to have spent his time since his disappearance early in
-the spring. What had brought him back now? And why did he so haunt the
-frowning, treacherous cliffs of Trevlyn? Was he mad? But why did his
-madness always drive him to this spot? She asked many such questions of
-herself, but she could answer none of them.
-
-At last Tom came down. His face looked as if carved in flint. She could
-not read the meaning of his glance.
-
-“Is he dead?” she asked softly.
-
-“He cannot last long. If he has any relations near, they should be
-telegraphed for.”
-
-“His sister is in Italy, I believe. There is no one else that I know
-of.”
-
-“Then there is nothing to be done. He is sinking fast. He cannot live
-many hours. I doubt if he will last the night.”
-
-Monica’s face was pale and grave.
-
-“Poor Conrad!” she said, beneath her breath.
-
-Tom started, and made a quick movement as of repulsion.
-
-“No one could wish him to live,” he began, almost roughly; “he has
-hardly a whole bone in his body.”
-
-“Is he conscious?”
-
-“No, nor likely to be. It is not at all probable he will ever open his
-eyes again. He will most likely sink quietly, without a sound or a
-sign. I have done all I can for him. Somebody must be with him to watch
-him, I suppose. It can only be a question of hours now.” A dark cloud
-hung upon the doctor’s brow. His thoughts were preoccupied. Presently
-he spoke again—a sort of mutter between his teeth.
-
-“He ought not to be allowed to die here—under _this_ roof. It is
-monstrous—hateful to think of! Nothing can save him. Yet I suppose it
-would be murder to move him now.”
-
-Monica looked up quickly.
-
-“Move him! Tom, what are you thinking of?”
-
-“I know it cannot be done,” was the answer, spoken in a stern, dogged
-tone. “Yet I repeat what I said before: he ought not to be under this
-roof.”
-
-There was a gentle reproach in the look that Monica bent upon him.
-
-“My husband’s roof and mine will always be a refuge for any whose
-need is as sore as his. Sometimes I think, Tom, that you are the very
-hardest man I ever met. His life, I know, is terribly stained; yet it
-is not for us to judge him.”
-
-It seemed as if Tom were agitated. He gave no outward sign, but his
-face was pale, his manner curiously harsh and peremptory.
-
-“You do not know,” he said. “Your husband——”
-
-She stopped him by a gesture.
-
-“My husband would be the first to bid me return good for evil. You know
-Randolph very little if you do not know that. Conrad is dying, and
-death wipes out much. He is about to answer for his life to a higher
-tribunal than ours. Ah! let us not condemn him harshly. Have we not all
-our sins upon our heads? When my turn comes to answer for mine, let me
-not have this one added—that I hardened my heart against the dying, and
-denied the help and succour mutely asked at the last hour.”
-
-“Monica,” said Tom, with one of those swift changes that marked his
-manner when he was deeply moved, “were I worthy, I would kiss the hem
-of your garment. As it is, I can only say farewell. God be with you!”
-
-He was gone before she could open her lips again. She stood in a sort
-of dream, feeling as if some strange thing were about to happen to her.
-
-Night fell upon the castle and its inhabitants, but Monica could not
-sleep. If ever she closed her eyes in momentary slumber, the same vivid
-dream recurred again and again, till she was oppressed and exhausted by
-the effort to escape from it. It was Conrad, always Conrad, begging,
-praying, beseeching her to come. Sometimes it seemed as if his shadowy
-form stood beside her, wildly praying the same thing—to come to him—to
-come before it was too late.
-
-At last she could stand it no longer. She rose and dressed. The clock
-in the tower struck four. She knew she could sleep no more that night.
-Why should she not take the watch beside the unconscious dying man, and
-let the faithful Wilberforce get some rest?
-
-She stole noiselessly to the sick room. There had been no change in
-the patient’s state. He lived, but could hardly live much longer.
-Wilberforce would fain have stayed, but Monica dismissed her quietly
-and firmly, preferring to keep her watch alone.
-
-Profound silence reigned in the great house—silence only broken from
-time to time by the reverberating strokes of the clock in the tower, or
-by the sudden sinking of the coal in the grate and the quiet fall of
-the cinders. There was something inexpressibly solemn in the time, the
-place, and the office thus undertaken by Monica.
-
-Conrad lay dying—Conrad, once her friend and playmate, then her
-bitterest, cruellest foe, now?—ah yes, what now?—she asked that
-question many times of herself. What strange, mysterious power is
-that of death! How it blots out all hatred, anger, bitterness,
-and distrust, and leaves in its place a sort of tender, mournful
-compassion. Who can look upon the face of the dead, and cherish hard
-thoughts of him that is gone?
-
-Not Monica, at least. Conrad had been to her as the evil genius of
-one crisis of her life—of more had she but known it. She had said
-in her heart that she could never forgive him, that she would never
-voluntarily look upon his face again, and yet here he lay dying beneath
-her roof, and she was with him. She could not, when it came to the
-point, leave him to die alone, with only a stranger beside him. He
-might never know, his eyes would probably never open to the light of
-this world again; but she should know, and in years to come, when time
-should, even more than now, have softened all things to her, she knew
-that she should be glad to think she had shown mercy and compassion
-towards one in death, who had shown himself in life her bitterest foe.
-
-Very solemn thoughts filled her mind as she sat in that quiet room,
-in which a strong young life was quickly ebbing away. Would the
-sin-stained soul pass into the shadowy land of the hereafter in
-silence and darkness, without one moment for preparation—perhaps for
-repentance? Would some slight gleam of consciousness be granted? would
-it be vouchsafed to him to wake once more in this world, to give some
-sign to the earnest, silent watcher whether he had tried to make his
-peace with God before he was called to his last account?
-
-The lamp burned low—flickered in its socket. That strange blue _film_,
-the first forerunner of the coming day, stole solemnly into that quiet
-room. Suddenly Monica became aware that Conrad’s eyes were open, and
-fixed intently upon her face. She rose and stood beside him.
-
-“You are here?” he said, in a strange low voice. “I felt that you would
-hear me call—and would come. I knew I could not—die—till I had told you
-all.”
-
-She did not know how far he was conscious. His words were strange, but
-his eye was calm and quiet. He took the stimulant she held to his lips.
-It gave him an access of strength.
-
-“Where am I?” he asked.
-
-“At Trevlyn.”
-
-A strange look flitted over his face.
-
-“Ah! I remember now—I fell. And I have been brought to Trevlyn—to
-die—and you, Monica, are with me. It is well.”
-
-She hardly knew what to say, or how to answer the awed look in those
-dying eyes. He bent a keen glance upon her.
-
-“Will it be soon?” he asked; and she knew that the “it” meant death.
-She could not deceive him. She bent her head in assent, as she said:
-
-“Very soon, I think.”
-
-His eyes never left her face. His own face moved not a muscle, but its
-expression changed moment by moment in a way she could not understand.
-
-“There is not much time left, Monica. Sit down by me where I can see
-you. I must make a confession to you before I die.”
-
-“Not to me, Conrad,” said Monica gently. “Confess your sins to our
-Father in Heaven. He alone can grant forgiveness; and His mercies are
-very great.”
-
-“Forgiveness!” the word was spoken with an intensity of bitterness that
-startled Monica. The horror was deepening each moment in his eyes. She
-began to feel that it was reflected in her own. What did it all mean?
-
-“God is very merciful,” she said gently, commanding herself so that he
-should not see her agitation.
-
-“You do not know,” he interrupted almost fiercely. “Wait till I have
-told you all.”
-
-“Why should you tell me, Conrad? I know much of your past life. I know
-that you have sinned. Ask God’s forgiveness before it is too late. It
-is against Him, not me, that you have sinned.”
-
-“Against Him _and_ you,” he answered with a grave intensity of manner
-that plainly showed him master of his faculties. “Listen to me,
-Monica—you shall listen! I cannot carry the guilty secret to the grave.
-Death looks me in the face—he holds me by the hand, but he will not let
-me leave this world till I have told you all.”
-
-A sort of horror fell upon Monica. She neither spoke nor moved.
-
-“Monica, turn your face this way. I want to see it. I must see it. You
-remember the night, a year ago, when—your husband—went away?”
-
-She bent her head in silence.
-
-“Did you know that I was there—in the boat with him?”
-
-She raised her head, and looked at him speechlessly.
-
-“I was there,” he said, “but nobody knew, nobody suspected. I was on
-the shore before you. I saw you cling to him. I heard every word that
-passed. I think a demon entered into my soul as you kissed each other
-that night. ‘Kiss her!’ I said, ‘kiss her—you shall never kiss her
-again!’ Monica, I think sometimes I am mad—I was mad, possessed, that
-night. I had no will, no power to resist the evil spirit within me. He
-went down to the boat. I followed. In the black darkness nobody saw me
-swing myself in. You know the story the men told when they came back—it
-was all true enough. The crew of the sinking vessel had been rescued.
-Your husband left the boat to help the little lad. I followed him,
-unknown to all. He had already handed the boy into the boat when I
-came stealthily up to him; the boat had swung round, and for a moment
-was lost in darkness before it could be brought up again. This was my
-chance. It was pitchy dark, and he did not see me, though I was close
-beside him. I had the great boat-hook in my hand; we were both sinking
-with the sinking vessel. I steadied myself, and brought the metal end
-of the weapon with all my strength upon his head. He sank without a
-cry. I saw his head, covered with blood, and his glassy eyes above the
-water for a moment—the sight has haunted me ever since—then I sprang
-into the boat. ‘All right!’ I shouted, and the men pulled off with a
-will, without a suspicion or a doubt. Almost before the boat reached
-the shore I sprang out, and vanished in the darkness before any one had
-seen me. My vow of vengeance was fulfilled. I murdered your husband
-Monica—do you understand?—I murdered him in cold blood! What have you
-to say to me?”
-
-She sat still as a marble statue, her hands closely locked together.
-She spoke no word.
-
-“I thought revenge would be sweet; but it has been
-bitter—bitter—bitter! I have known no peace night or day. I have been
-ceaselessly haunted by the sight of that ghastly face—ah, I see it now!
-Every time I lie down to sleep I am doomed to do that hideous deed
-again. I have fled time after time from the scene of my crime, only to
-be dragged back by a power I cannot resist. I knew that a terrible
-retribution would come; yet I could not keep away. And now—yes, it has
-come—more terrible than ever I pictured. I am dying—in his house—and
-you—his wife—are watching over me. Ah, it is frightful! Is there
-forgiveness with God for sin like mine? You say His mercies are great.
-Can they cover this hideous deed? Monica, can _you_ forgive?”
-
-He spoke with the wild, passionate appeal of despair. The anguish and
-remorse in his face were terrible to see; but Monica did not speak. She
-sat rigid and still, as pale as death, her eyes glowing like living
-fire in the wild conflict of her feelings. This was terrible—too
-terrible to be borne.
-
-“Monica, I am dying—dying! The shadows are closing round me. Ah, do
-not turn away! It is all so dark; if you desert me I am lost indeed!
-If you were dying you would understand. Monica, you say God is
-good—merciful. I have asked His pardon again and again for this black
-sin, and even as I pray it seems as if you—your pale, still face—rises
-ever between me and the forgiveness I crave. I read by this token that
-to you I must confess this blackest sin; of you I must ask pardon too.
-I have repented. I do repent. I would give my life to call him back.
-Monica, forgive—forgive! Have mercy upon a dying man. As you will one
-day ask pardon at God’s hands even for your blameless life, give me
-your pardon ere I die!”
-
-Who shall estimate the struggle that raged in Monica’s soul during
-the brief moments that followed this appeal—moments that to her were
-like hours, years, for the concentrated passion of feeling that surged
-through them? She felt as if she had grown sensibly older, ere, white
-and shaken by the conflict, she won the victory over herself.
-
-She rose and stood beside him.
-
-“Conrad, I forgive you. May God forgive you as I do.”
-
-A sudden light flashed into his dim eyes. The awful, unspeakable horror
-passed slowly away. The deep darkness lifted a little—a very little—and
-Monica saw that it was so.
-
-“I think—you have—saved me,” he whispered, whilst the death damp
-gathered on his brow. “Monica, you will have your reward for this—I
-know it—I feel it. Ah! is this death? Monica—it is coming—teach me to
-pray—I cannot—I have forgotten—help me!”
-
-“I will help you, Conrad. Say it after me. ‘Our Father which art in
-Heaven, Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on
-earth as it is in Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive
-us our trespasses; As we forgive’——”
-
-“‘As we forgive’——” Conrad broke off suddenly; a strange look of
-gladness, of relief, of comprehension, flashing over the face that
-had been so full of terror and anguish. “‘As we forgive’—and you have
-forgiven—then it may be that He will forgive too. I could not believe
-it before—now I can—God be merciful to me, a sinner!”
-
-Those were his last words. Already his eyes were glazing. The hush as
-of the shadow of death was filling that dim room. Monica knelt beside
-the bed, a sense of deep awe upon her, praying with all the strength of
-her pure soul for the guilty, erring man—her husband’s murderer—dying
-beneath his roof.
-
-And as she thus knelt and prayed, a sudden sense of her husband’s
-presence filled all her soul with an inexpressible, indescribable
-thrill of mingled rapture and awe. She trembled, and her heart beat
-thick and fast; whether she were in the spirit or out of the spirit
-she did not know. And then—in deep immeasurable distance, far, far
-away, and yet distinctly, sweetly clear—unmistakable—the sound of a
-voice—Randolph’s voice—thrilling through infinity of space:
-
-“Monica! Monica! My wife!”
-
-She started to her feet, quivering in every limb. Conrad’s eyes were
-fixed upon her with an inexplicable look of joy. Had he heard it too?
-What did it mean—that strange cry from the spirit world in this hour of
-death and dawn?
-
-She leant over the dying man.
-
-“Conrad,” she said, in a voice that was full of an emotion too deep for
-any but the simplest of words, “I forgive you—so does Randolph; and I
-think God has forgiven you too.”
-
-The clear radiance of another day was shining upon the earth as the
-troubled, erring spirit was set free, and passed away into the great
-hereafter, whose secrets shall be read in God’s good time, when all but
-His Word shall have passed away.
-
-Let us not judge him—for is there not joy with the angels in heaven
-over one sinner that repenteth?
-
-Yes, all was over now: all the weary warfare of sin and strife; and
-with a calm majesty in death, that the beautiful face had never worn in
-life, Conrad Fitzgerald lay dead in Castle Trevlyn.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.
-
-LORD HADDON.
-
-
-“And you forgave him, Monica, you forgave him? The man who had killed
-your husband?”
-
-It was Beatrice who spoke, and she spoke with a sort of horror in her
-tone. Tom stood a little apart in the recess of the window, a heavy
-cloud upon his brow. Lord Haddon was leaning with averted face upon the
-high carved mantel-shelf.
-
-They had all come over early to Trevlyn to hear the fate of the hapless
-man who had died in the night. Beatrice felt an unquenchable longing
-to know if he had spoken before he died—if by chance the terrible
-secret had escaped in delirium from his lips; and she had insisted on
-coming with her husband. Her brother, who had arrived unexpectedly
-the previous evening, had made one of the party. He was hungering for
-another sight of Monica, and Trevlyn seemed to draw him like a magnet.
-
-Monica’s face had told a tale of its own when she had first appeared;
-and the whispered question on Beatrice’s lips:
-
-“Did he speak, Monica? Did he say anything?” elicited a reply that led
-to explanations on both sides, rendering further reserve needless; and
-Monica told her tale with the quiet calmness of one who has too lately
-passed through some great mental conflict to be easily disturbed again.
-
-
-But Beatrice, fiery, impetuous Beatrice, could not understand this
-calm. She was shaken by a tempest of excitement and wrath.
-
-“You forgave him, Monica? Ah! how could you? Randolph’s murderer!”
-
-“Yes, I forgave him.”
-
-“You should not! You should not! It was not—it could not be right!
-Monica, I cannot understand you. I think you are made of stone!”
-
-She said nothing; she smiled. That smile was only seen by Haddon. It
-thrilled him to his heart’s core.
-
-“How came you to be with him at all?” said Tom, almost sternly. “It was
-not your duty to be there. It was no fit place for you.”
-
-“I think my place is where there is sorrow and need and loneliness,”
-answered Monica, very gently. “He needed me—and I came to him.”
-
-“He sent for you?”
-
-“I think he did.”
-
-“But you said——”
-
-Monica lifted her hand; she rose to her feet, passing her hand across
-her brow.
-
-“You would not understand, dear. There are some things, Beatrice, that
-you are very slow to learn. You know something of the mysteries of
-life, but you do not understand anything of those deeper mysteries of
-death. I have forgiven a dying man, who prayed forgiveness with his
-latest breath—and you look at me with horror.”
-
-Beatrice gazed at Monica, but yet would not yield her point.
-
-“Mercy can be carried too far——” but she could not say more, for the
-look upon Monica’s face brought a sudden sense of choking that would
-have made her voice falter had she attempted to proceed. Her brother’s
-murmured words, therefore, were now distinctly heard.
-
-“Not in God’s sight, perhaps.”
-
-Monica turned to him with a swift gesture inexpressibly sweet.
-
-“Ah! you understand,” she said simply. “I am glad you have come just
-now, Haddon. I shall want help. Will you give it me?”
-
-“I will do anything for you, and esteem it an honour.”
-
-She looked at him steadily.
-
-“Even if it is for one who—for the one who lies upstairs now—dead?”
-
-Haddon bent his head.
-
-“Even for him—at your bidding.”
-
-“Thank you,” she said.
-
-“I will take you home now, Beatrice,” said Tom, curtly. “We are not
-wanted here.”
-
-Monica looked questioningly at him, as she gave him her hand, to see
-what this abruptness might signify. He returned her gaze with equal
-intensity.
-
-“I believe you are an angel, Monica,” he said, lifting her hand for a
-moment to his lips; “but there are moments when fallen mortals like
-ourselves feel the angelic presence a little overpowering.”
-
-
-Monica, as she had said, wanted the help of some man of business, as
-there was a good deal to be done in connection with Conrad’s sudden
-death: a good many trying formalities to be gone through, as well as
-much correspondence, and in Lord Haddon she found an able and willing
-assistant.
-
-He saw much of Monica in those days. He was often at Trevlyn—hardly a
-day passed without his riding or driving across on some errand—and she
-was often at St. Maws herself, for Beatrice’s momentary flash of anger
-had been rapidly quenched in deep contrition and humility; and both she
-and her husband treated Monica with the sort of reverential tenderness
-that seemed to meet her now on all hands.
-
-Lord Haddon watched her day by day, wondering if ever he should dare
-to breathe a word of the hopes that filled his heart, reading in her
-calm face and in the sisterly gentleness and fondness with which she
-treated him, how little conscious she was of the purpose that possessed
-his soul. Sometimes he paused and shrank from troubling the still
-waters of their sweet, calm friendship, but then again the thought
-of leaving her in her loneliness and isolation seemed too sad and
-mournful, if by any devotion and love he could lighten the burden of
-her sorrow, and bring back something of the lost happiness into her
-life. Haddon was very humble, very self-distrustful; he did not expect
-to accomplish much, but he felt that he would gladly lay down his life,
-if by that act he could do anything to comfort her. To die for her
-would, however, be purposeless: the next thing was to try and live for
-her.
-
-And so one day, as they paced the lonely shore together, on a chill
-cloudy winter’s afternoon, he put his fate to the touch.
-
-She had noticed his silence—his abstraction: he had not been quite
-himself all day. Presently they reached a sheltered nook amongst some
-rocks not far from the water’s edge, and she sat down, motioning him to
-do the same. She looked at him with gentle, friendly concern.
-
-“Is anything the matter?” she asked. “Have you something on your mind?”
-
-He turned his head, looked into her eyes, and answered:
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Can I help you?” she continued, in the same sweet way. “You help me so
-often, that it is my turn to help you now if I can.”
-
-He looked with a glance she could not altogether understand.
-
-“Monica,” he said, “may I speak to you?—may I tell you something? I
-have tried to do so before, and have failed; but I ought not to go on
-longer without speaking. Have I your permission to tell you what is on
-my mind?”
-
-He did not often call her by her Christian name: only in moments of
-excitement, when his soul was stirred within him. The unconscious way
-in which it dropped now from his lips told that he was deeply moved.
-A sort of vague uneasiness arose within her, but she looked into his
-troubled, resolute face, and answered:
-
-“Tell me if you wish it, Haddon”—although she shrank, without knowing
-why, from the confession she was to hear.
-
-“Monica,” he said, not looking at her, but out over the sea, and
-speaking with a manly resolution and fluency unusual with him, the
-outcome of a very earnest purpose, “I am going to speak to you at
-last, and I must ask you beforehand to pardon my presumption, of which
-I am as well aware as you can ever be. Monica, I think that no woman
-in the wide world is like you. I have thought so ever since I saw you
-first, in your bridal robes, standing beside Randolph in that little
-church over yonder. When I saw you then—nay, pardon me if I pain you;
-I should not have recalled the memory, and yet I cannot help it—I
-said within myself that you were one to be worshipped with the truest
-devotion of a man’s heart; and the more I saw of you in later life, the
-deeper did that feeling sink into my soul. He, your husband, had been
-as a brother to me, and to feel that I was thus brought near to you,
-admitted to friendship and to confidence, was a source of keen pleasure
-such as I can ill describe. You did not know your power over me,
-Monica. I hardly knew it myself; but I think I would at any time have
-laid down my life either for him or for you. I know I would that fatal
-night—but I must not pain you more. When I awoke, Monica, from that
-long fever, to find you watching beside me, to hear that he, my friend,
-was dead, and you left all alone in your desolation—Monica, Monica, how
-can I hope to express to you what I felt? It is not treachery to his
-memory—believe me, it is not. If I could call him back, ah! how gladly
-would I do it!—at the cost of my life if need be—but that can never,
-never be! I know I can never fill _his_ place. I know I am utterly
-unworthy of the boon I ask; but if a life-long devotion, if a love
-that will never change nor falter, if the ceaseless care of one, who
-is yours wholly and entirely, can ever help to fill the blank, can in
-ever so small a degree make up to you for that one irretrievable loss,
-believe me, it will be the greatest happiness I can ever know. Monica,
-need I say more? Have I said too much? I only ask leave to watch over
-you, to comfort you, to love you; I ask nothing for myself—only the
-right to do this. Can you not give it to me? God helping me, you shall
-never repent it if you do.”
-
-A long pause followed this confession—this appeal. Monica’s face
-had expressed many fluctuating feelings as he had proceeded with his
-speech. Now it was full of a sort of divine compassion and tenderness:
-a look sometimes seen in a pictured saint or Madonna drawn by a master
-hand.
-
-“You are so good,” she said, very low; “so very, very good; and it
-grieves me so sadly to give you pain.”
-
-He turned his head and looked at her. His eyes darkened with sudden
-sorrow.
-
-“I have spoken too soon,” he said, in the same gentle, self-contained
-way. “I have tried to be patient, but seeing you lonely and sad makes
-it so hard. I should have waited longer—it is only a year now since.
-Monica, do not think me hard or callous to say it, but time is a great
-softener—a great healer. I do not mean that you will ever forget; but
-years will go by, and you are still quite young, very young to live
-your life always alone. Think of the years that lie before you. Must
-they all be spent alone? Monica, do not answer me yet; but if in time
-to come—if you want a friend, a helper—let me—can you think of me?
-Ah! how can I say it? Can I ever be more to you than I am now? You
-understand: you have only to call me, to command me—I will come.”
-
-He spoke with some agitation now, but it was quickly subdued. It seemed
-as if he would have left her, but she laid her hand upon his arm and
-detained him.
-
-“Haddon,” she said, softly, “I am lonely and I do want a friend. You
-have been a friend to me always; I trust and love you as a brother.
-May I not do so always? Can you not be content with that? Must it
-end with us, that love and trust? I should miss it sorely if it were
-withdrawn.”
-
-Her sweet, pleading face was turned towards him. There was a sort of
-struggle in the young man’s mind: then he answered quietly:
-
-“It shall be so, if you wish it,” he said. “My chiefest wish is for
-your happiness. But——”
-
-She checked him by a look.
-
-“Haddon, I am Randolph’s wife!”
-
-His eyes gave the reply his tongue would never have uttered. She
-answered as if he had spoken.
-
-“Yes, he is dead. Did you think that made any difference? Ah, you
-do not understand. When I gave myself to Randolph, I gave myself for
-ever—not for a time only but for always. He is my husband. I am his
-wife. Nothing can change that.”
-
-“Not even death?”
-
-The words were a mere whisper; yet she heard them. It seemed as if a
-sudden ray of light shone upon the face she turned towards him. He was
-awed; he watched her in mute silence.
-
-“Ah! no,” she said, very softly, “not death—death least of all. Death
-can only divide us, it cannot touch our love. Ah! you do not know, you
-do not understand. How can I make it clear to you? Love is like nothing
-else in the world—it is us, our very selves. _Somewhere_——” Monica
-clasped her hands together, and stretched them out before her towards
-the eternal ocean, with a gesture more eloquent than any words, whilst
-the light upon her face deepened in intensity every moment as her eyes
-fixed themselves upon the far horizon. “_Somewhere_ he is waiting for
-me to come to him—he, my husband, my love; and though he may not come
-back to me, I shall go to him in God’s good time, and when I join him
-in the great, eternal home, I must go to him as he left me—with nothing
-between us and our love; and there will be no parting there, no more
-death, and no more sea.”
-
-Her words died away in silence; but her parted lips, her shining eyes,
-the light upon her face, spoke an eloquent language of their own. Her
-companion sat and looked at her in mute, breathless silence, not
-unmixed with awe.
-
-He knew his cause was lost. He knew she could never, never be his;
-yet, strange to say, he was not saddened or cast down, for by this
-revelation of her innermost heart he felt himself uplifted and
-ennobled. His idol was not shattered. Monica was, as ever, enshrined
-in his heart—the one ideal woman to be worshipped, reverenced, adored.
-Even in this supreme hour of his life, when the airy fabric of his
-dreams was crumbling into dust about him, he had a perception that
-perhaps even thus it was best. He never could be worthy of her, and now
-he might still call himself her friend; had she not said so herself?
-
-There was a long, long silence between them. Then he moved, kneeling on
-one knee before her, and taking her hand in his.
-
-“Monica,” he said, “I understand now. I shall never trouble you again.
-You have judged well, very well; it is like you, and that is enough.
-But before I go may I crave one boon?”
-
-“And that is——?”
-
-“That you forget all that I have said, all the wild, foolish words that
-I have spoken; and let me keep my old place—as your brother and friend.”
-
-She looked at him with her own gentle smile.
-
-“I wish for nothing better,” she answered. “I cannot afford to lose my
-friend.”
-
-He pressed her hand for one moment to his lips, and was gone without
-another word.
-
-Tears slowly welled up in Monica’s eyes as she rose at last, and stood
-looking out over the vast waste of heaving grey sea—sad, colourless,
-troubled.
-
-“Like my life,” she said softly to herself. And yet she had just put
-away a love that might at least have cast a glow upon it, and gilded
-its dim edges.
-
-She stretched out her hand with a sort of mute gesture of entreaty.
-
-“Ah! Randolph, husband, come back to me! I am so lonely, so desolate!”
-
-Even as she spoke, the setting sun, as it touched the horizon, broke
-through the bank of cloud which had veiled it all the day, and flooded
-the sea as with liquid gold—that cold grey sea that she had just been
-likening to her own future life.
-
-She could not help an involuntary start.
-
-“Is it an omen?” she asked; and despite the heavy load at her heart,
-she went home somewhat comforted.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.
-
-CHRISTMAS.
-
-
-It was Christmas Eve; the light was just beginning to wane, and
-Monica’s work was done at last. She was free now until the arrival of
-her guests—the Pendrills and Lord Haddon—should give her new occupation
-in hospitable care for them.
-
-Monica had been too busy for thoughts of self to intrude often upon
-her during these past days. She wished to be busy; she tried to occupy
-herself from morning to night, for she found that the aching hunger of
-her heart was more eased by loving deeds of mercy and kindness than
-in any other way—self more fully lost in ceaseless care for others.
-But when all was done, every single thing disposed of, nothing more
-left to think of or to accomplish; then the inevitable reaction set in,
-and with a heart aching to pain, almost to despair, Monica entered the
-music-room, and sat down to her organ.
-
-She played with a sort of passionate appeal that was infinitely
-pathetic, had any one been there to hear; she threw all the yearning
-sadness of her soul into her organ, and it seemed to answer her back
-with a promise of strong sympathy and consolation. Insensibly she was
-soothed by the sweet sounds she evoked. She fell into a dreamy mood,
-playing softly in a minor key, so softly that through the door that
-stood ajar, she became aware of a slight subdued tumult in the hall
-without, to which she gave but a dreamy attention at first.
-
-The bell had pealed sharply, steps had crossed the hall, the door had
-been opened, and then had followed the tumultuous sounds expressive of
-astonishment that roused Monica from her dreamy reverie. She supposed
-the party from St. Maws had arrived somewhat before the expected time,
-and rose, and had made a few steps forward when she suddenly stopped
-short and stood motionless—spell-bound—what was it she had heard?—only
-the sound of a voice—a man’s voice.
-
-“Where is your mistress?”
-
-The words were uttered in a clear, deep, ringing tone, that seemed to
-her to waken every echo in the castle into wild surging life. The very
-air throbbed and palpitated around her—her temples seemed as if they
-would burst. What was the meaning of that sound—that wild tumult of
-voices? Why did she stand as if carved in stone, growing white to the
-very lips, whilst thrill upon thrill ran through her frame, and her
-heart beat to suffocation? What did it all portend? Whose was the voice
-she had just heard—that voice from the dead? _Who_ was it that stood in
-the hall without?
-
-The door was flung open. A tall, dark figure stood in the dim light.
-
-“Monica!”
-
-Monica neither spoke nor moved. The cry of awe and of rapture that rose
-from her heart could not find voice in which to utter itself—but what
-matter? She was in her husband’s arms. Her head lay upon his breast.
-His lips were pressed to her cold face in the kisses she had never
-thought to feel again. Randolph had come back. She could not speak. She
-had no will to try and frame a single word. He held her in his arms; he
-strained her ever closer and closer. She felt the tumultuous beating of
-his heart as she lay in his arms, powerless to move or think. She heard
-his murmured words, broken and hoarse with the passionate feeling of
-that supreme moment.
-
-“My wife! Monica! My wife!”
-
-And then for a time she knew no more. Sight and hearing alike failed
-her; it seemed as if a slumber from heaven itself sealed her eyes and
-stole away her senses.
-
-When she came to herself she was on a sofa in her own room, and
-Randolph was kneeling beside her. She did not start to see him there.
-For a moment it seemed as if he had never left her. She smiled her own
-sweet smile.
-
-“Randolph! Have I been asleep—dreaming?”
-
-He took her hands in his, and bent to kiss her lips.
-
-“It has been a long dream, my Monica, and a dark one; but it is over at
-last. My darling, my darling! God grant I may not be dreaming now!”
-
-She smiled like a tired child. She had a perception that something
-overpoweringly strange and sudden had happened, but she did not want to
-rouse herself just yet to think what it must all mean.
-
-
-Two hours later, in the great drawing-room ablaze with light, Monica
-and Randolph stood together to welcome their guests. She had laid aside
-her mournful widow’s garb, and was arrayed in her shimmering bridal
-robes. Ah, how lovely she was in her husband’s eyes as she stood beside
-him now! Perhaps never in all her life had she looked more exquisitely
-fair. Happiness had lighted her beautiful eyes, and had brought the
-rose back to her pale cheeks: she was glorified—transfigured—a vision
-of radiant beauty.
-
-He had changed but slightly during his mysterious year of absence.
-There were a few lines upon his face that had not been there of old: he
-looked like a man who had been through some ordeal, whether mental or
-physical it would be less easy to tell; but the same joy and rapture
-that emanated, as it were, from Monica was reflected in his face
-likewise, and only a keen eye could read to-night the traces of pain or
-of sorrow in that strong, proud, manly countenance.
-
-Monica looked at him suddenly, the flush deepening in her cheeks.
-
-“Hush! They are coming!” she said, and waited breathlessly.
-
-The door opened, admitting Mrs. Pendrill, Beatrice, and Tom. There
-was a pause—a brief, intense silence, during which the fall of a pin
-might have been heard, and then, with one long, low cry, half-sobbing,
-half-laughing, Beatrice rushed across the room, and flung herself upon
-Randolph.
-
-Monica went straight up to Mrs. Pendrill, and put her arms about her
-neck.
-
-“Aunt Elizabeth, he has come home,” she said, in a voice that shook a
-little with the tumult of her happiness. “He has just come home—this
-very day—Randolph—my husband. Help me to believe it. You must help me
-to bear this—as you helped me to bear the other.”
-
-Tom had by this time grasped Randolph by the hand; but neither trusted
-his own voice. They were glad that Beatrice covered their silence by
-her incoherent exclamations of rapture, and by the flow of questions no
-one attempted to answer.
-
-It was all too like a dream for anyone to recollect very clearly what
-happened. Raymond and Haddon came in almost at once, new greetings
-had to be gone through. How the dinner passed off that night no one
-afterwards remembered. There was a deep sense of thankfulness and
-joy in every heart; yet of words there were few. But when gathered
-round the fire later on in the evening, when they had grown used to
-the presence amongst them of one whom they had mourned as dead for
-more than a year, Randolph was called upon to tell his tale, which was
-listened to in breathless silence.
-
-“I will tell you all I can about it; but there are points yet where my
-memory fails me, where I have but little idea what happened. I have a
-dim recollection of the night of the wreck, and of leaving the boat;
-but I must have received a heavy blow on the head, the doctors tell
-me, and I suppose I sank, and the men could not find me. But I was
-entangled, it seems, in the rigging of a floating spar, and must have
-been carried thus many miles; for I was picked up by an ocean steamer
-bound for Australia, which had been driven somewhat out of its course
-by the gale. It was not supposed that I could live after so many hours’
-exposure. I was quite unconscious, and remained so for a very long
-time. There was nothing upon me by which I could be identified, and
-of course I could give no account of myself. On board the boat were a
-kind-hearted wealthy Australian couple, who had lately lost an only
-son, to whom they fancied I bore some slight resemblance. Perhaps for
-this cause, perhaps from true kindness of heart, they at once took me
-under their special care and protection. There was plenty of space on
-board the vessel, and they looked after me as if I had indeed been
-their son. They would not hear of my being left behind in hospital on
-the way out. They took me under their protection until I should be able
-to give an account of myself.
-
-“Of course I knew nothing about all this. I was lying dangerously ill
-of brain fever all the while, not knowing where I was, or what was
-happening. When we reached Melbourne at last, and I was conveyed to
-their luxurious house on the outskirts of the town, I was still in
-the same state, relapse following relapse, every time till I gained
-a little ground, till for months my life was despaired of. I was
-either raving in delirium, or lying in a sort of unconscious stupor,
-and without all the skill and care lavished upon me, I suppose I must
-have died. But I did not die. Gradually, very gradually, the fever
-abated, and I began to come to myself: that is to say, I began to
-know the faces around me and to recognise my surroundings; but for
-myself, I knew no more who I was, nor whence I had come, than the
-infant just born into the world. My memory had gone, had been wiped
-clean away; I had no idea of my own identity, no recollection of the
-past. The very effort to remember brought on such pain and distress
-that I was imperatively commanded to relinquish the attempt. Gradually
-some things came back to my mind: I could read, write, understand the
-foreign tongues I had mastered, and the sciences I had studied in past
-days. As my health slowly improved this kind of knowledge came back
-spontaneously and without effort; but my personal history was as a
-blank wall, against which I flung myself in vain. It would yield to no
-efforts of mine. Distressed and confused, I was obliged to give up, and
-wait with what patience I might for the realisation of the hope held
-out cheerfully by the clever doctor who attended me. He maintained that
-if I would but have patience, some strong association of ideas would
-some day bring all back in a flash, and meantime all I had to do was to
-get strong and well, so as to be ready for action when that day should
-come. I was restless sometimes, but less so than one would fancy, for
-the blank was too complete to be distressing. My good friends and
-protectors were unspeakably kind and good, and did everything in their
-power to ensure my mental and physical well-being; I recovered my
-health rapidly, soon my memory was to come back too.”
-
-Randolph passed his hand across his eyes. No one spoke, every eye was
-fixed upon his face.
-
-“It did so very strangely: it was one hot afternoon in November—our
-summer, you know”—he named the date and the hour, and Monica heard it
-with a sudden thrill. Allowing for the discrepancy of time, it was
-during the moments that she watched by Conrad Fitzgerald’s dying bed
-that her husband’s memory was given back to him.
-
-“I was looking over some old English newspapers, idly, purposelessly,
-when I came upon a detailed account of the wreck, and of my own
-supposed death. As I read—I cannot describe what it was like—my memory
-came back to me in a great flood, like overwhelming waves. It seemed,
-Monica, as if my spirit were carried on wings to Trevlyn, as if I were
-hovering over you in some mysterious way impossible to describe. I
-called your name aloud. I knew that I was close to you, at Trevlyn—it
-is useless to attempt to define what I felt. When I came to myself they
-told me I had fainted; but that was not so. I had been on a journey,
-that is all, and had returned. My memory was restored from that hour,
-clearly and distinctly; the doctor thought there might be lapses, that
-I might never be the same man again as I had been once; but I have felt
-no ill effects since. Little more remains to be told. My first instinct
-was to telegraph; but not knowing what had happened in my absence,
-knowing I must long have been given up for lost, I was afraid to do
-so, lest hopeless confusion should result. Instead, I took the first
-home-bound steamer, and reached London late last night. I found out at
-the house there where Monica was, and came on here by the first train.
-I have come back home to spend my Christmas with you.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.
-
-THE LAST.
-
-
-“Monica, I could not tell you last night—it was all so sudden, so
-wonderful—but I think you know, without any words of mine, how glad,
-how thankful, I am.”
-
-It was Haddon who spoke, spoke with a glad, frank, joyous sincerity,
-that beamed in his eye and sounded in every tone of his voice. Monica
-gave him both her hands, looking up into his face with her sweetest
-smile.
-
-“I know, Haddon; I know. I am sure of it. Is he not almost a brother to
-you?—and are you not the best of brothers to me?”
-
-“At least I will try to be,” he answered gladly. “I cannot tell you how
-happy this has made me.”
-
-She was glad, too: glad to see him so happy, so heart-whole. He had
-loved her with the loyal love of a devoted chivalrous knight, had loved
-her for her sorrow and her loneliness; but she was comforted now, and
-he was able to rejoice with her. It was all very good—just as she would
-have it.
-
-Ah! what a day of joy and thanksgiving it was! How Monica’s heart beat
-as she knelt by her husband’s side that glad Christmas morning in
-the little cliff church, when, in the pause just before the General
-Thanksgiving, the grey-headed clergyman, with a little quiver in his
-voice, announced that Randolph Trevlyn desired to return thanks to
-Almighty God for preservation from great perils, and for restoration to
-his home.
-
-Her voice faltered in the familiar words, and many suppressed sobs were
-heard in the little building, but they were sobs of joy and gratitude,
-and tears of healing and of happiness stole down Monica’s cheeks. It
-was like some beautiful dream, and yet too sweet not to be true.
-
-In the afternoon Monica and Randolph went out alone together; first
-into the whispering pine woods, and then out upon the breezy cliff,
-hard beneath their feet with the winter’s frost.
-
-He let her lead him whither she would. He had no thought to spare for
-aught beside herself. They were together once again. What more could
-they need?
-
-But Monica had an object in view; and as they walked, engrossed in
-each other, in sweet communion of soul and interchange of thought, or
-the almost sweeter silence of perfect peace and tranquillity, she led
-him once more towards the little cliff church; though only when she was
-unlatching the gate to enter the quiet grave-yard did he arouse to the
-sense of their surroundings.
-
-“Why, Monica,” he said, “why have you brought me here? We are too late
-for service.”
-
-“I know,” she answered; “but come. I want to show you something.”
-
-Her face wore an expression he did not understand. He followed her in
-silence to a secluded corner, where, beneath a dark yew tree, stood a
-green mound, at the head of which a wooden cross had been temporarily
-erected.
-
-Randolph read the letters it bore:
-
-“C. F.,” followed by a date, and beneath, the simple, familiar words—
-
- “_Requiescat in pace._”
-
-Strange, perhaps, that Monica should have cared for this lonely grave,
-in which was laid to rest one who had, as she believed, robbed her life
-of all its brightness and joy. Strange that she, in the absence of
-friend or kinsman, should have charged herself with keeping it, and of
-erecting there some monument to mark who lay there low. Strange—yet so
-it was.
-
-Her husband looked at her questioningly.
-
-“Conrad’s grave—yes,” she answered quietly. “Randolph, look at the
-date.”
-
-He did so, and started a little.
-
-“He died at dawn that day, Randolph. You know what was happening then
-at the other side of the world?”
-
-There was a strange look of awe upon her face as she spoke, which was
-reflected in his also. She came and stood close beside him.
-
-“Randolph, do you know that he was there—that night?—that he tried to
-kill you?”
-
-He had taken off his hat as he stood beside the grave, with the
-instinctive reverence for the dead—even though it be a dead
-foe—characteristic of a noble mind. Now he passed his hand across his
-brow and through his thick dark hair.
-
-“I thought that was a delusion of fever—a sort of hideous vision
-founded on no reality. Monica, was it so?”
-
-“It was.”
-
-“How do you know?”
-
-“I had it from his own lips.”
-
-He gazed at her without speaking; something in her face awed and
-silenced him.
-
-“Randolph, listen,” she said. “I must tell you all. Six weeks ago,
-the evening before _that_ day, he was brought, shattered and dying,
-to Trevlyn; he had fallen from the cliffs, no skill could serve to
-prolong his life. I knew nothing then—he was profoundly unconscious,
-yet as the night wore away some strange intuition came upon me that
-he wanted me, that he was beseeching me to come to him. I went—he was
-still unconscious. I sent Wilberforce away and watched by him myself.
-Randolph, at dawn he awoke to consciousness—he told me all his awful
-tale—he said he had murdered you—I believed it was true. He was
-dying—dying in darkness and in dread, and he prayed for my forgiveness
-as if his salvation hung upon it. Randolph, Randolph, how can I tell
-you?—I cannot, no I cannot—no one could understand,” for a moment she
-pressed her hand upon her eyes, looking up again in a few seconds with
-a calm glance that was like a smile. “He was dying, Randolph, and I
-forgave him—I forgave him freely and fully—and he died in peace. Stop,
-that is not all. Randolph, as I knelt beside his bed, praying for
-the sin-stained spirit then taking its flight, I felt that you were
-with me; I had never before felt the strange overshadowing presence
-that I did then—you were there, your own self. I heard your voice far
-away, yet absolutely clear, like a call from some distant, snow-clad
-mountain-top, infinitely far—‘Monica! Monica! My wife!’ I think Conrad
-heard it too, for he died with a smile on his lips. Randolph, I am sure
-that you were with me in that strange, awful hour. I knew it then—I
-know it better now. Randolph, I think that love is stronger than all
-else—time, space, death itself. Nothing touched our love. I think it is
-like eternity.”
-
-A deep look of awe had stamped itself upon Randolph’s face. He put his
-arm round Monica, and for a very long while they stood thus, neither
-attempting to speak or to move.
-
-At last he woke from his reverie, and looked down at her with a strange
-light shining in his eyes.
-
-“And you forgave him, Monica?”
-
-She looked up and met his gaze unfalteringly.
-
-“I forgave him, Randolph; was I wrong?”
-
-He stooped and kissed her.
-
-“My wife, I thank God that you did forgive him. His life was full of
-sin and sorrow—but at least its end was peace. May God pardon him as
-you did—as I do.”
-
-There was a strange sweet smile in her eyes as she lifted them to his.
-
-“Ah, Randolph!” she said softly, “I knew you would understand. Oh, my
-husband, my husband!”
-
-He held her in his arms, and she looked up at him with a sweet, tender
-smile. Then her eyes wandered dreamily out over the wide sea beneath
-them.
-
-“There is nothing sad there now, Randolph. It will never separate us
-again.”
-
-He looked down at her with a world of love in his eyes; yet as they
-turned away his glance rested for one moment upon the lonely grave he
-had been brought to see, and lifting his hat once more, he murmured
-beneath his breath—“Requiescat in pace.”
-
-Then drawing his wife’s hand within his arm, he led her homewards
-to Trevlyn, whilst the sun set in a blaze of golden glory over the
-boundless shining sea.
-
-
-THE END.
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber's Notes
-
-
-Minor punctuation and printer errors repaired.
-
-Italic text is denoted by _underscores_
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Monica, Volume 3 (of 3), by Evelyn Everett-Green
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-
-Project Gutenberg's Monica, Volume 3 (of 3), by Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Monica, Volume 3 (of 3)
- A Novel
-
-Author: Evelyn Everett-Green
-
-Release Date: June 20, 2017 [EBook #54942]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MONICA, VOLUME 3 (OF 3) ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by MWS and the Online Distributed Proofreading
-Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from
-images generously made available by The Internet
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-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-
-<h1>MONICA.</h1>
-
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="screenonly figcenter" style="width: 562px;">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="562" height="800" alt="book cover" />
-</div>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<p class="center huge">MONICA.</p>
-
-<p class="center big">A Novel.</p>
-
-<p class="center">BY</p>
-
-<p class="center big">EVELYN EVERETT-GREEN.</p>
-
-<p class="center">Author of</p>
-
-<p class="center"><span class="smcap">“Torwood’s Trust,” “The Last of the Dacres,”
-“Ruthven of Ruthven,” Etc.</span></p>
-
-<p class="center mt2"><i>IN THREE VOLUMES.</i></p>
-
-<p class="center mt2">VOL. <abbr title="3">III.</abbr></p>
-
-<p class="center">LONDON:<br />
-WARD AND DOWNEY,<br />
-12, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, W.C.<br />
-1889.
-</p>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-
-
-<p class="center">PRINTED BY<br />
-KELLY AND CO., GATE STREET, LINCOLN’S INN FIELDS,<br />
-AND KINGSTON-ON-THAMES.
-</p>
-
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_v" id="Page_v">[v]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2>CONTENTS.</h2>
-
-
-
-
-
-<div class="center">
-<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="toc">
-<tr><td class="tdc">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.</td>
- <td class="tdr small">PAGE</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Beatrice</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_1">1</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Storm</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_17">17</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Widowed</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_39">39</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Monica</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_61">61</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Haunted</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_79">79</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Lovers</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_97">97</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">“As We Forgive”</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_124">124</a><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_vi" id="Page_vi">[vi]</a></span></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Lord Haddon</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_155">155</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">Christmas</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_177">177</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdc" colspan="2">CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="tdl smcap">The Last</td>
- <td class="tdr"><a href="#Page_194">194</a></td></tr>
-</table></div>
-
-
-
-
-<p class="center big">MONICA.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="23. BEATRICE">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-THIRD.<br />
-
-<small>BEATRICE.</small></h2>
-
-
-<p>“Beatrice, I believe my words are coming
-true, after all. I begin to think you are
-getting tired of Trevlyn already.”</p>
-
-<p>It was Monica who spoke thus. She
-had surprised Beatrice alone in the boudoir
-at dusk one afternoon, sitting in an
-attitude of listless dejection, with the
-undoubted brightness of unshed tears in
-her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>But the girl looked up quickly, trying
-to regain all her usual animation, though
-the attempt was not a marked success, and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a></span>Monica sat down beside her, and laid one
-hand upon hers in a sort of mute caress.</p>
-
-<p>“You are not happy with us, Beatrice,
-I see it more and more plainly every day.
-You have grown pale since you came here,
-and your spirits vary every hour, but they
-do not improve, and you are often sad. I
-think Trevlyn cannot suit you. I think I
-shall have to prescribe change of air and
-scene, and a meeting later on in some other
-place.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica spoke with a sort of grave
-gentleness, that indicated a tenderness she
-could not well express more clearly. For
-answer, Beatrice suddenly flung herself
-on her knees before her hostess, burying
-her face in her hands.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, don’t send me away, Monica!
-Don’t send me away! I could not bear it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span>—indeed
-I could not! I am miserable—I am
-wretched company. I don’t wonder you
-are tired of me; but ah! don’t send me
-away from you, and from Trevlyn. I
-think I shall <em>die</em> if you do. Oh, why is the
-world such a hard, cruel place?”</p>
-
-<p>Monica was startled at this sudden outburst,
-for since the day following her
-arrival Beatrice had showed herself unusually
-reserved. She had been <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">distraite</i>,
-absorbed, fitful in her moods, but never
-once expansive; therefore, this unexpected
-impulse towards confidence was the more
-surprising.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice,” she said gently, “I did not
-mean to distress you. You know how
-very, very welcome you are to stay with
-us. But you are unhappy; you are far
-more unhappy than when you came.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p>
-<p>Beatrice shook her head vehemently at
-this point, but Monica continued in the
-same quiet way. “You are unhappy, you
-are restless and miserable. Beatrice,
-answer me frankly, would you be happy if
-Tom Pendrill were not here? He has
-already outstayed his original time, and we
-could quite easily get rid of him if his
-presence is a trouble to you. We never
-stand on ceremony with Tom, and
-Randolph could manage it in a moment.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice lifted a pale, startled face.</p>
-
-<p>“Tom Pendrill?” she repeated, almost
-sharply. “What has he got to do with it?
-What makes you bring in his name? What
-do you know about—about——?” She
-stopped suddenly.</p>
-
-<p>“I know nothing except what I see for
-myself—nothing but what your face and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>his tell me. It is easy to see that you
-have known each other before, and under
-rather exceptional circumstances, perhaps.
-Do you think it escapes me, that feverish
-gaiety of yours whenever he is near—gaiety
-that is expended in laughing, chatting,
-flirting, perhaps, with the other guests,
-but is never by any chance directed to
-him? Do you think I do not notice how
-quickly that affectation of high spirits
-evaporates when he is gone; how many
-fits of sad musing follow in its wake?
-How is it you two never talk to one
-another? never exchange anything beyond
-the most frigid commonplaces? It is not
-your way to be so distant and so cool,
-Beatrice. There must be a reason. Tell
-me truly, would you not be happier if Tom
-Pendrill were to go back to <abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr> Maws?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p>
-<p>But Beatrice shook her head again, and
-heaved a long, shuddering sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, no, no!” she said. “Don’t send
-him away. Nothing really matters now;
-nothing can do either good or harm. Let
-him stay. I think his heart is made of ice.
-He does not care; why should I? It is
-nothing but my folly and weakness, only it
-brings it all back so bitterly—all my pride,
-and self-will, and stubbornness. Well, I
-have suffered for it now.”</p>
-
-<p>It was plain that a confession was
-hovering on Beatrice’s lips; that she was
-anxious at last to unburden herself of her
-secret. Monica helped her by asking a
-direct question.</p>
-
-<p>“Were you engaged to him once?”</p>
-
-<p>“No—no! not quite. I had not got
-quite so far as that. I might have
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span>been. He asked me to be his wife, and I—I——”
-She paused, and then went on
-more coherently.</p>
-
-<p>“I will tell you all about it. It was
-years ago, when I was barely eighteen—a
-gay, giddy girl, just ‘out,’ full of fun, very
-wild and saucy, and thoroughly spoiled by
-persistent petting and indulgence. I was
-the only daughter of the house, and
-believed that Lady Beatrice Wentworth
-was a being of vast importance. Well, I
-suppose people spoiled us because we were
-orphans. We were all more or less spoiled,
-and I think it was the ruin of my eldest
-brother. He was at Oxford at the time I
-am speaking of; and I was taken to Commemoration
-by some gay friends of
-ours, who had brothers and sons at
-Oxford.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span></p>
-<p>“It was there I met Tom Pendrill. He
-was the ‘chum’ of one of the undergraduate
-sons of my chaperon, and he was
-a great man just then. He had distinguished
-himself tremendously in the
-schools, I know—had taken a double-first,
-or something, and other things beside. He
-was quite a lion in his own set, and I heard
-an immense deal in his praise, and was
-tremendously impressed, quite convinced
-that there was not such another man in the
-world. He was almost always in our
-party, and he took a great deal of notice of
-me. He gave us breakfast in his rooms,
-and I sat next him, and helped to do the
-honours of the table. You can’t think how
-proud I was at being singled out by him,
-how delighted I was to walk by his side,
-listening to his words of wisdom, how
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span>elevated I often felt, how taken out of
-myself into quite a new world of thought
-and feeling.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice paused. A smile—half sad,
-half bitter—played for a moment over her
-face; then she took up the thread of her
-narrative.</p>
-
-<p>“I need not go into the subject of my
-feelings. I was very young, and all the
-glamour of youth and inexperience was
-upon me. I had never, in all my life,
-come across a man in the least like him—so
-clever, so witty, so cultured, and withal with
-so strong a personality. He was not silent
-and cynical, as he is now, but full of life
-and sparkle, of brilliance and humour. I
-was dazzled and captivated. I believed
-there had never been such a man in
-the world before. He was my ideal, my
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span>hero; and he seemed to court me, which
-was the most wonderful thing of all.</p>
-
-<p>“You know what young girls are like?
-No, perhaps you don’t, and I will avoid
-generalities, and speak only of myself.
-Just because he captivated me so much—my
-fancy, my intellect, my heart—just
-because I began to feel his power growing
-so strongly upon me, I grew shy,
-frightened, restive. I was very wilful and
-capricious. I wanted him to admire me,
-and I was proud that he seemed to do so;
-but I did not in the least want to acknowledge
-his power over me. I was
-frightened at it. I tried to ignore it—to
-keep it off.</p>
-
-<p>“So, in a kind of foolish defiance and
-mistrust of myself, I began flirting
-tremendously with a silly young marquis,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span>whom I heartily despised and disliked. I
-only favoured him when Tom Pendrill was
-present, for I wanted to make him jealous,
-and to feel my power over him. Coquetry
-is born in some women, I believe; I am
-sure it was born in me. I did not mean
-any harm. I never cared a bit for the
-creature. I cared for no one but the man
-I affected now to be tired of. But rumours
-got about. I suppose it would have been
-a very good match for me. People said I
-was going to marry the cub, and I only
-laughed when I heard the report. I was
-young, vain, and foolish enough to feel
-rather flattered than otherwise.”</p>
-
-<p>She paused a moment, with another of
-those bitter-sweet smiles, and went on very
-quietly:</p>
-
-<p>“Why are girls so badly brought up?
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span>I was not bad at heart; but I was vain and
-frivolous. I loved to inflict pain of a kind
-upon others, till I played once too often
-with edge-tools, and have suffered for it
-ever since. Of course, Tom Pendrill heard
-these reports, and, of course, they angered
-him deeply; for I had given him every
-encouragement. He did not know the
-complex workings of a woman’s heart, her
-wild struggles for supremacy before she can
-be content to yield herself up for ever a
-willing sacrifice. He did not understand;
-how should he? I did not either till it was
-too late.</p>
-
-<p>“I saw him once more alone. We were
-walking by the river one moonlight night.
-He was unlike himself—silent, moody,
-imperious. All of a sudden it burst out.
-He asked me almost fiercely if I would be
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span>his wife—he almost claimed my promise as
-his right—said that I owed him that
-reparation for destroying his peace of
-mind. How my heart leapt as I heard
-those words. A torrent of love seemed to
-surge over me. I was terrified at the
-depth of feeling he had stirred up.
-I struggled with a sort of fury against
-being carried away by it, against betraying
-myself too unreservedly. I don’t remember
-what I said; I was terribly agitated. I
-believe in my confusion and bewilderment
-I said something disgusting about my rank
-and his—the difference between us. Then
-he cast that odious marquis in my teeth,
-supposed that the report he had heard was
-true, that I was going to sell myself for the
-reversion of a ducal coronet, since I
-thought so much of <em>rank</em>. I was furious;
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span>all the more furious because I had brought
-it on myself, though, had he but known it,
-it was ungenerous to take me at a disadvantage,
-and cast my words back at me
-like that—words spoken without the least
-consideration or intention. But, right or
-wrong, he did it, and I answered back with
-more vehemence than before. I don’t
-know what I said, but it was enough for
-him, at any rate. He turned upon me—I
-think he almost cursed me—not in words,
-but in the cruel scorn expressed in his face
-and in his voice. Ah! it hurts me even
-now. Then he left me without another
-word, without a sign or sound of farewell—left
-me standing alone by that river. I
-never saw him again till we met in your
-drawing-room that night.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice paused; Monica had taken her
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span>hand in token of sympathy, but she did
-not speak.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course, at first I thought he would
-come back. I never dreamed he would
-believe I had really led him on, only
-to reject him with contempt, when once he
-dared to speak his heart to me. We had
-quarrelled; and I was very miserable,
-knowing how foolish I had been; but I
-never, never believed for a moment that he
-would take that quarrel as final.</p>
-
-<p>“Two wretched days of suspense followed.
-Then I heard that he had left Oxford
-the morning after our interview by the
-river, and I knew that all was over between
-us. That is the story of my life, Monica;
-it does not sound much to tell, but it means
-a good deal to me. I have never loved
-anyone else—I do not think I ever shall.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span></p>
-<p>Monica was silent.</p>
-
-<p>“Neither has he.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice’s eyes were full of a sort of
-wistful sadness and tender regret; but she
-only kissed Monica very quietly, and stole
-silently from the room.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
-<img src="images/i_016.jpg" width="350" height="104" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="24. STORM">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH.<br />
-
-<small>STORM.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>“Ah, Randolph! I am glad you are in. It
-is going to be such a rough night!”</p>
-
-<p>Monica was sitting by the fire in her own
-room, waiting for her husband to join her
-there, as he always did immediately upon
-coming in from his day’s sport. They had
-one or two more guests at Trevlyn now—men,
-friends of Randolph’s in days past; but
-nothing ever hindered him from devoting
-this one hour before dinner to his wife. It
-was to Monica the happiest hour of the day.</p>
-
-<p>“I am so glad to have you safe back.
-Are you not very wet?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p>
-<p>“No; I was well protected from the
-rain; but it has been a disagreeable sort
-of day. The other fellows were carried off
-to dine at Hartland’s. We came across
-their party just outside the park, and he
-begged us all to accept his hospitality for
-the night, as the weather was getting so
-bad. Haddon and I came home to tell
-you, but the rest accepted the invitation.
-We shall be quite a small party to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked up with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>“I think I am glad of that, Randolph.”</p>
-
-<p>He sat down and put his arm about her.</p>
-
-<p>“Tired of our guests already, Monica?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know—I like to have your
-friends, and to help to make them enjoy
-themselves; but I don’t think there is any
-such happiness as having you all to
-myself.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span></p>
-<p>He held her closer to him, and looked
-with a proud fond smile into her face.</p>
-
-<p>“You feel that too, Monica?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes! How could I help it?”</p>
-
-<p>He fancied she spoke sadly, and would
-know why.</p>
-
-<p>“I think I have been sad all day,” she
-answered; “I am often sad before a storm,
-when I hear the wind moaning round the
-house. It makes me think of the brave
-men at sea, and their wives waiting for
-them at home.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a little quiver in her voice as
-she spoke the last words. Randolph heard
-it, and held her very close to him.</p>
-
-<p>“It is not such a very bad night,
-Monica.”</p>
-
-<p>“No; but it makes me think. When
-you are away, I cannot help feeling sad,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span>often. Ah, my husband! how can I tell
-you all that you have been to me these
-happy, happy months?”</p>
-
-<p>“My sweet wife!” he murmured, softly.</p>
-
-<p>“And other wives love their husbands,”
-she went on in the same dreamy way, “and
-they see them go away over the dark sea,
-never to come back any more,” and she
-shivered.</p>
-
-<p>“Let us go to the music-room, Monica,”
-said Randolph. “You shall play the hymn
-for those at sea.”</p>
-
-<p>He knew the power of music to soothe
-her, when these strange moods of sadness
-and fear came upon her. They went to
-the organ together, and before half-an-hour
-had passed Monica was her own calm,
-serene self again.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica,” said Randolph, “can you sing
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span>something to me now—now that we are
-quite alone together? Do you remember
-that little sad, sweet song you sang the
-night before I went away to Scotland?
-Will you sing it to me now? I have so
-often wanted to hear it again.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica gave him one quick glance, and
-struck the preliminary chords softly and
-dreamily.</p>
-
-<p>Wonderfully rich and sweet her voice
-sounded; but low-toned and deep, with a
-subtle searching sweetness that spoke
-straight to the heart:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
- <div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse">“‘And if thou wilt, remember—</div>
- <div class="verse">And if thou wilt, forget.’”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p>There was the least little quiver in her
-voice as it died into silence. Randolph
-bent over her and kissed her on the lips.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you,” he said. “It is a haunting
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span>little song in its sad sweetness. Somehow,
-it seems like you, Monica.”</p>
-
-<p>But she made no answer, for at that
-moment a sound reached their ears that
-made them both start, listening intently.
-Monica’s face grew white to the lips.</p>
-
-<p>The sound was repeated with greater
-distinctness.</p>
-
-<p>“A gun!” said Randolph.</p>
-
-<p>“A ship in distress!” whispered Monica.</p>
-
-<p>A ship in distress upon that cruel, iron-bound
-coast—a pitch-dark night and a
-rising gale!</p>
-
-<p>Randolph looked grave and resolute.</p>
-
-<p>“We must see what can be done,” he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>Monica’s face was very pale, but as
-resolute as her husband’s.</p>
-
-<p>“I will go with you!” she said.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p>
-<p>He glanced at, her, but he did not say
-her nay.</p>
-
-<p>In the hall servants were gathering in
-visible excitement. Lord Haddon was
-there, and Beatrice. The distressing
-signals from the doomed vessel were
-urging their imperative message upon every
-heart. Faces were flushed with excitement.
-Every eye was turned upon the
-master of the house.</p>
-
-<p>“Haddon,” he said, “there is not a man
-on the place that can ride like you, and
-you know every inch of the country by
-this time. Will you do this?—take the
-fastest, surest horse in the stable, and
-gallop to the nearest life-boat station.
-You know where it is?—Good! Give the
-alarm there, and get all in readiness. If
-the ship is past our help, and drifts with
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span>the wind, they may be able to save her
-crew still.”</p>
-
-<p>Haddon stayed to ask no more. He
-was off for the stables almost before the
-words had left Randolph’s lips.</p>
-
-<p>Monica was wrapping herself up in her
-warm ulster; Beatrice followed her example;
-the one was flushed, the other
-pale, but both were bent on the same
-object—they must go down to the shore
-to see what was done. They could not
-rest with the sound of those terrible guns
-ringing in their ears.</p>
-
-<p>The night was pitchy black, the sky was
-obscured by a thick bank of cloud. The
-wind blew fierce and strong, what sailors
-would call “half a gale.” It was a wild,
-“dirty” night, but not nearly so bad a
-one as they often knew upon that coast.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p>
-<p>The lanterns lighted them down the steep
-cliff-path, every foot of which, however,
-was well known to Monica. She kept
-close beside her husband. He gave her his
-hand over every difficult piece of the road,
-Beatrice followed a little more slowly.
-At last they all stood together upon the
-rocky floor of the bay.</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked out to sea. She was
-the first to realise what had happened.</p>
-
-<p>“She has struck on the reef!” she said.
-“She does not drift. She has struck!”</p>
-
-<p>“And in such a sea she will be dashed
-to pieces in a very short time,” said Randolph,
-as another signal flashed out from
-the doomed vessel.</p>
-
-<p>Other lights were moving about the
-shore. It was plain that the whole population
-of the little hamlet had gathered at
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span>the water’s edge. Through the gusts of
-rain they could see indistinctly moving
-figures; they could catch as a faint
-murmur the loud, eager tones of their
-voices.</p>
-
-<p>“Stay here, Monica,” said Randolph,
-“under the shelter of this rock. I must
-go and see what is being done. Wait
-here for me.”</p>
-
-<p>She had held fast by his arm till now!
-but she loosed his clasp as she heard these
-words.</p>
-
-<p>“You will come back?” she said, striving
-to speak calmly and steadily.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, as soon as I can. I must see
-what can be done. There seems to be a
-boat. I must go and see if it cannot be
-launched. The sea in the bay is not so
-very wild.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span></p>
-<p>Randolph was gone already. Beatrice
-and Monica were left standing in the lee of
-a projection of the cliff. They thought
-they were quite alone. They did not see
-a crouching figure not many paces away,
-squeezed into a dark fissure of the rock.
-The night was too obscure to see anything,
-save where the flashing lights illumined the
-gloom. Even the wild beast glitter of a
-pair of fierce eyes watching intently passed
-unseen and unheeded.</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked out to sea with a strange
-fixed yearning in her dark eyes. She was
-looking towards the vessel, struck fast
-upon the very rock where she had once
-stood face to face with death. How well
-she remembered that moment and the
-strange calmness that possessed her! She
-never realised the peril she was in—it had
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span>seemed a small thing to her then whether
-she lived or died. She recalled her feelings
-so well—was she really the same
-Monica who had stood so calmly there
-whilst the waves leaped up as if to devour
-her? Where was her old, calm indifference
-now?—that strange courage prompted
-by the want of natural love for life?</p>
-
-<p>A sense of revelation swept over Monica
-at that moment. She had never really
-feared, because she had never truly loved.
-It was not death even now that she
-dreaded for herself, or for her husband,
-but separation. Danger, even to death,
-shared with him, would be almost welcome:
-but to think of his facing danger alone—that
-was too terrible. She pressed her
-hands closely together. It seemed as if
-her very soul cried to Heaven to keep
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span>away this dire necessity. Why she suspected
-its existence she could not have
-explained, but the shadow that had hung
-upon her all day seemed wrapping itself
-about her like a cloud.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica, how you tremble!” said
-Beatrice. “Are you cold? Are you
-afraid?”</p>
-
-<p>She was trembling herself, but it was
-with excitement and impatience.</p>
-
-<p>Monica did not answer, and Beatrice
-moved a little away. She was too restless
-to stand still.</p>
-
-<p>Monica did not miss her. A storm was
-sweeping over her soul—one of those
-storms that only perhaps come once in a
-life-time, and that leave indelible traces
-behind them. It seemed to her as if all
-her life long she had been waiting for this
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span>hour—as if everything in her past life had
-been but leading up to it.</p>
-
-<p>Had she not known from her earliest
-childhood that some day this beautiful,
-terrible, pitiless sea was to do her some
-deadly injury—to wreck her life and leave
-her desolate? Ay she had known it
-always—and now—had the hour come?</p>
-
-<p>Not in articulate words did Monica ask
-this question. It came as a sort of voiceless
-cry from the depths of her heart. She
-did not think, she did not reason—she only
-stood quite still, her hands closely clasped,
-her white face turned towards the sea, with
-a mute, stricken look of pain that yet expressed
-but a tithe of the bitter pain at her
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>But during those few minutes, that
-seemed a life-time to her, the battle had
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span>been fought out and the victory won.
-The old calmness had come back to her.
-She had not faced this hour all her life to
-be a coward now.</p>
-
-<p>She was a Trevlyn—and when had a
-Trevlyn ever been known to shrink or falter
-before a call of duty?</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice rushed back with the greatest
-excitement of manner.</p>
-
-<p>“They have a boat, but nearly all the
-men are away—the strong men who could
-man it easily. There are a few strong
-lads, who are willing and eager to go, and
-two fishermen; but there are only six in
-all, and they don’t know if it is enough.
-Oh, dear! oh, dear! And those poor
-people in the ship! Must they all be
-drowned?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think not,” answered Monica, quietly.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span>“I think some means will be found to
-save them. Where is Randolph?”</p>
-
-<p>Randolph was beside her next moment.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, if only I were a man,” Beatrice
-was saying, excitedly. “Ah! why are
-women so useless, so helpless? To think
-of them drowning within sight of land—and
-they say the sea does not run so very
-high. Oh, what will they do? They
-cannot let them drown! Randolph, can
-nothing be done?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, something can be done,” he answered
-steadily and cheerfully. “The boat
-is being run down. It will not be difficult
-or dangerous to launch her in shelter of the
-cliff. There are six men to man it—all
-they want is a coxswain. Monica,” he
-added, turning to her, and taking both her
-hands in his strong clasp, “you have
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span>taught me to navigate the Bay of Trevlyn
-so well, that I am equal to take that task
-upon myself. There are lives to be saved—the
-danger to the rescuing party is small,
-they say so, and I believe they speak the
-truth. Will you let me go?”</p>
-
-<p>She looked up to him with a mute entreaty
-in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“There are lives to be saved, my
-Monica,” he said, with grave gentleness.
-“Are our brothers to go down within
-sight of land, without one effort on our
-part to save them? Have you not wept
-for such scenes before now? Have you no
-pity to-night? Monica, in that vessel on
-the rocks there are men, perhaps, whose
-wives are waiting at home for them, and
-praying for their safety. Will you let me
-go?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p>
-<p>She spoke at length with manifest effort,
-though her manner was quite calm.</p>
-
-<p>“Is there no one else?”</p>
-
-<p>“There is no one else.”</p>
-
-<p>For perhaps ten seconds there was perfect
-silence between them.</p>
-
-<p>“Then Randolph, I will let you go.”</p>
-
-<p>He bent his head and kissed her.</p>
-
-<p>“I knew my wife would bid me do my
-duty,” he said proudly; “and believe me,
-my life, the danger is not great, and
-already the wind seems abating. It is
-but a small vessel. In all probability one
-journey will suffice. We shall not be out
-of sight, save for the darkness; we shall
-be under the lee of the cliff for the best
-part of the way. The boat is sound,
-the men know their work. We shall
-soon be back in safety, please God,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span>and then you will be glad that you let
-me go.”</p>
-
-<p>She lifted her head and looked at him.</p>
-
-<p>“Take me with you, Randolph.”</p>
-
-<p>“My darling, I cannot. It would not
-be right. We must not load the boat needlessly,
-even were there no other reason.
-Your presence there would take away
-half my courage, and perhaps it might
-necessitate leaving behind some poor fellow
-who otherwise might be saved.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica said no more. She knew that he
-spoke the truth.</p>
-
-<p>Her white, still face with its stricken
-look, went to his heart. He knew how
-strangely nervous she was on wild, windy
-nights. He knew it would be hard for her
-to let him go, but she had shown herself
-his brave, true Monica, as he knew she
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span>would do, and now the kindest thing he
-could do was to shorten the parting, and
-return to her as quickly as his errand
-would allow him.</p>
-
-<p>He held her a moment in his strong
-arms.</p>
-
-<p>“Good-bye, my Monica, my own sweet
-wife. Keep up a brave heart. Kiss me
-once and let me go. Whatever happens,
-we are in God’s hands. Remember that
-always.”</p>
-
-<p>She lifted her pale face, there was
-something strangely pathetic in its haunting
-beauty.</p>
-
-<p>“Let me see you smile before I go. Tell
-me again that you bid me do my duty.”</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly the old serenity and peace
-came back to the upturned face. The
-smile he asked for shone in her sweet eyes.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Good-bye, my Randolph—my husband—good-bye.
-Yes, I do bid you do your
-duty. May God bless and keep you
-always.”</p>
-
-<p>For a moment they stood together, heart
-pressed to heart, their lips meeting in one
-long, lingering kiss; for one moment a
-strange shadow as of farewell seemed to
-hang upon them, and they clung together
-as if no power on earth could separate
-them.</p>
-
-<p>The next moment he was gone, and
-Monica, left alone, stretched out her hands
-in the darkness.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, my love! my love!”</p>
-
-<p>It was the one irrepressible cry from
-the depths of her heart; the next moment
-she repeated dreamily to herself the words
-that had lately passed her husband’s lips:</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span></p>
-<p>“‘Whatever happens, we are in God’s
-hands. Remember that always.’ Randolph,
-I will! I will!”</p>
-
-<p>A ringing cheer told her that the boat
-was off. Nobody had seen the slim figure
-that had slunk after Randolph down to the
-beach. No one, in the darkness and
-general excitement, had seen that same slim
-figure leap lightly and noiselessly into the
-boat, and crouch down in the extreme end
-of the bow.</p>
-
-<p>Conrad Fitzgerald had witnessed the
-parting between husband and wife; he had
-heard every word that had passed between
-them; and now, as he crouched with a
-tiger-like ferocity in the bottom of the boat,
-he muttered:</p>
-
-<p>“This time he shall not escape me!”</p>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="25. WIDOWED">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH.<br />
-
-<small>WIDOWED.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>The boat launched by the rescuing party
-vanished in the darkness. Monica stood
-where her husband had left her in the
-shelter of the cliff, her pale face turned
-seawards, her eyes fixed upon the glimmering
-crests of the great waves, as they came
-rolling calmly in, in their resistless might
-and majesty.</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice had twice come back to her, to
-assure her with eager vehemence that the
-danger was very slight, that it was lessening
-every moment as the wind shifted and
-abated in force—dangerous, indeed, for the
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span>poor fellows in the doomed vessel that had
-struck upon the fatal reef, but not very
-perilous for the willing and eager and
-experienced crew that had started off to
-rescue them. Beatrice urged this many
-times upon Monica; but the latter stood
-quite still and spoke not a word; only gazed
-out to sea with the same strange yearning
-gaze that was like a mute farewell.</p>
-
-<p>Was it only an hour ago that she had
-been with her husband at home, telling him
-of the dim foreboding of coming woe that
-had haunted her all that day? It seemed
-to her as if she had all her life been standing
-beside the dark margin of this tempest-tossed
-sea, waiting the return of him who
-made all the happiness of her life—and
-waiting in vain.</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice looked at her once or twice, but
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span>did not speak again. Presently she moved
-down towards the water’s edge. Surely the
-boat would be coming back now!</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly there was a glad shout of
-triumph and joy from the fisher-folk, down
-by the brink of the sea.</p>
-
-<p>“Here she is!” “Here she comes!”
-“Steady, there!” “Ease her a bit!”
-“This way now!” “Be ready, lads!”
-“Here she comes!” “Now, then, all
-together!” “After this wave—<em class="smcap lowercase">NOW</em>!”</p>
-
-<p>Cries, shouts, an eager confusion of
-tongues—the grating of a boat’s keel upon
-the beach, and then a ringing hearty cheer.</p>
-
-<p>“All safe?”</p>
-
-<p>“All saved—five of them and a lad.”
-“Just in time only.” “She wouldn’t have
-floated five minutes longer.” “She was
-going down like lead.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span></p>
-<p>What noise and confusion there was—people
-crowding round, flitting figures
-passing to and fro in the obscurity, every
-one talking, all speaking together—such a
-hubbub as Beatrice had never witnessed
-before. She stood in glad, impatient
-expectancy on the outskirts of the little
-crowd. Why did not Randolph come away
-from them to Monica? Why did she not
-hear his voice with the rest? Her heart
-gave a sudden throb as of terror.</p>
-
-<p>“Where is Lord Trevlyn?”</p>
-
-<p>Her voice, sharpened by the sudden fear
-that had seized her, was heard through all
-the eager clamour of those who stood round.
-A gleam of moonlight, struggling through
-the clouds, lighted up the group for a
-moment. The words went round like wildfire:
-“Where is Lord Trevlyn?” and men
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span>looked each other in the face, growing pale
-with conscious bewilderment. Where, indeed,
-was Lord Trevlyn? He was certainly
-not amongst them; yet he had
-undoubtedly steered the boat to shore.
-Where was he now? Men talked in loud,
-rapid tones. Women ran hither and
-thither, wringing their hands in distressful
-excitement, hunting for the missing man
-with futile eagerness. What had happened?
-Where could he be?</p>
-
-<p>Suddenly a deep silence fell upon all;
-for in the brightening moonlight they saw
-that Monica stood amongst them—pale, calm
-and still, as a spirit from another world.</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>The story was told by one and another.
-Monica was used to the people and their
-ways. She gathered without difficulty the
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span>substance of the story. The boat had reached,
-without over-much difficulty or danger, the
-sinking vessel. She was a small coaling ship,
-with a crew of seven men and a boy. Two
-of the former had already been washed
-away, and the vessel was sinking rapidly.
-The five survivors were easily rescued; but
-the lad was entangled in the rigging, and
-was too much exhausted to free himself
-and follow. Lord Trevlyn was the first to
-realise this, and he sprang out of the boat at
-some peril to himself to the lad’s assistance.
-Nobody had been able to see in the darkness
-what had passed, but all agreed that
-the lad had been handed to those in the
-boat by a pair of strong arms, and that
-after an interval of about three minutes—for
-the boat had swung round, and had to
-be brought back again, which took a little
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span>time—a man had sprung back into the
-boat, had shouted “All right!” had seized
-the tiller, and sung out to the crew to
-“Give way, and put off!” which they had
-done immediately, glad enough to be clear
-of the masts of the sinking vessel, which
-were in dangerous proximity.</p>
-
-<p>No one had been able in the darkness to
-see the face of the steersman; but all agreed
-that the voice was “a gentleman’s”; and
-most mysterious of all was the fact that the
-boat had been steered to shore with a skill
-that showed a thorough knowledge of the
-coast, and that not a man of those who now
-stood round had ever laid a hand upon the
-tiller.</p>
-
-<p>A thrill of superstitious awe ran round
-as this fact became known, together with
-the terrible certainty that Lord Trevlyn
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span>had <em>not</em> returned with them. Was it indeed
-a phantom hand that had guided the frail
-bark through the wild, tossing waves?
-The bravest man there felt a shiver of
-awe—the women sobbed, and trembled
-unrestrainedly.</p>
-
-<p>The boat was put to sea once more
-without a moment’s delay. The wind was
-dropping, the tide had turned, and the
-danger was well nigh over. But heads
-were shaken in mute despair, and old
-men shook their heads at the bare idea
-of the survival of any swimmer, who had
-been left to battle with the waves round
-the sunken reef on a stormy winter’s
-night.</p>
-
-<p>Monica stood like a statue; she heeded
-neither the wailing of the women, the
-murmurs of sympathy from the men, nor
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span>the clasp of Beatrice’s hand round her
-cold fingers. She saw nothing, heard
-nothing, save the tossing, the moaning of
-the pitiless sea.</p>
-
-<p>The boat came back at last—came back
-in dead, mournful silence. That silence
-said all that was needed.</p>
-
-<p>Monica stepped towards the weary,
-dejected men, who had just left the boat
-for the second time.</p>
-
-<p>“You have done all that you could,”
-she said gently. “I thank you from my
-heart.”</p>
-
-<p>And then she turned quietly away to
-go home—alone.</p>
-
-<p>No one dared follow her too closely;
-even Beatrice kept some distance behind,
-sick with misery and sympathetic despair.
-Monica’s step did not falter. She went
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span>back to the spot where her husband had
-left her, and stood still, looking out over
-the sea.</p>
-
-<p>“Good-bye, my love—my own dear
-love,” she said, very softly and calmly.
-“It has come at last, as I knew it would,
-when he held me in his arms for the last
-time on earth. Did he know it, too? I
-think he did just at the last. I saw it in
-his brave, tender face as he gave me that
-last kiss. But he died doing his duty. I
-will bear it for his sake.” Yet with an
-irrepressible gesture of anguish she held
-out her arms in the darkness, crying out,
-not loud, indeed, but from the very depth
-of her broken heart, “Ah, Randolph!—husband—my
-love! my love!”</p>
-
-<p>That was all; that one passionate cry of
-sorrow. After it calmness returned to her
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span>once more. She stepped towards Beatrice,
-who stood a little way off, and held out her
-hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Come, dear,” she said. “We must go
-home.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice was more agitated than Monica.
-She was convulsed with tearless sobs. She
-could only just command herself to
-stumble uncertainly up the steep cliff path
-that Monica trod with ease and freedom.</p>
-
-<p>The moon was shining clearly now. She
-could see the gaze that her companion
-turned for one moment over the tossing
-waste of waters. She caught the softly-whispered
-words, “Good-bye, dear love!
-good bye!” and a sudden burst of tears
-came to her relief; but Monica’s eyes
-were dry.</p>
-
-<p>As they entered the castle hall, they saw
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span>that the ill news had preceded them. Pale-faced
-servants, both men and women,
-stood awed and trembling, waiting, as
-it seemed, for their mistress. A sound
-as of hushed weeping greeted them as they
-entered.</p>
-
-<p>No one ever forgot the look upon
-Monica’s face as she entered her desolated
-home. It was far more sad in its unutterable
-calm than the wildest expression of
-grief could have been. Nobody dared to
-speak a word, save the old nurse who had
-tended Randolph from childhood. She
-stepped forward, the tears streaming down
-her wrinkled cheeks.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, my lady! my lady!” she sobbed.</p>
-
-<p>Monica paused, looked for one moment
-at the faithful servant; then bent her head,
-and kissed her.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Dear nurse,” she said gently, “you
-always loved him;” and then she passed
-quietly on to the music-room—the room
-that she and her husband had quitted
-together less than three hours before, and
-shut herself up there—alone.</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice dared not follow. She let
-Wilberforce take her upstairs, and tend
-her like a child, whilst they mingled their
-tears together over the brave young life
-cut short in its manhood’s strength and
-prime. Randolph’s nurse was no stranger
-to Beatrice, and it was easy for the good
-woman to speak with authority to one
-whom she had known as a child, force her
-to take some nourishment, and exchange
-wet garments for dry. She could not be
-induced to go to bed, exhausted though she
-was, but the wine and soup did her good,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span>and the hearty burst of weeping had
-relieved her overcharged heart. She felt
-more like herself when, after an hour’s
-time, she went downstairs again; but, oh!
-what a different house it was from what it
-had been a few hours back!</p>
-
-<p>It was by that time eleven o’clock.
-Monica was still shut up in the music-room.
-Nothing had been heard of Haddon; she
-had hardly even given him a thought. She
-went down slowly to the hall, and found
-herself face to face with Tom Pendrill. He
-wore his hat and great coat. He had evidently
-just arrived in haste. As he removed
-the former she was startled at the
-look upon his face. She had not believed
-it capable of expressing so much feeling.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice,” he said hoarsely, “is it
-true?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span></p>
-<p>He did not know he had called her by
-her Christian name, and she hardly noticed
-it at the moment. She only bent her head
-and answered:</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, it is true.”</p>
-
-<p>Together they passed into the lighted
-drawing-room, and stood on either side the
-glowing hearth, looking at each other
-fixedly.</p>
-
-<p>“Where is Monica?”</p>
-
-<p>“In the music-room, alone. They were
-there together when the guns began. It
-will kill her, I am certain it will!”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” answered Tom quietly; “she will
-not die. It would be happier for her if
-she could.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice looked at him with quivering lips.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” she said at last. “You understand
-her?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Yes,” he answered absently, looking
-away into the fire. “I understand her.
-She will not die.”</p>
-
-<p>Both were very silent for a time. Then
-he spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“You were there?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me about it.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have not heard?”</p>
-
-<p>“Only the barest outline. Sit down and
-tell me all.”</p>
-
-<p>She did not resent his air of authority.
-She sat down, and did his bidding. Tom
-listened in deep silence, weighing every
-word.</p>
-
-<p>He made no comment on the strange
-story; but a very dark shadow rested upon
-his sharp featured face.</p>
-
-<p>He was a man of keen observation and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span>acuteness of perception, and his mind often
-leaped to a conclusion that no present
-premises seemed to justify. Not for a
-moment would he have given utterance
-to the question that had suggested itself to
-his mind; but there it was, repeating
-itself again and again with persistent
-iteration.</p>
-
-<p>“Can there have been foul play?”</p>
-
-<p>He spoke not a word, his face told no
-tales; but he was musing intently. Where
-was that half mad fellow, Fitzgerald; who
-some months ago had seemed on the high-road
-to drink himself to madness or death?
-He had not been heard of for some time
-past; but Tom could not get the question
-out of his mind.</p>
-
-<p>In the deep silence that reigned in the
-room every sound could be heard distinctly.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span>Beatrice suddenly started, for they were
-aware that the door of the music-room had
-been opened, and that Monica was coming
-towards them. The girl turned pale, and
-looked almost frightened. Tom stood up
-as his hostess appeared, setting his face like
-a flint.</p>
-
-<p>The long hour that had seemed like a
-life-time to the wife—the widow—how
-could they bring themselves to think of her
-as such?—had left no outward traces upon
-Monica. Her face was calm and still, and
-very pale, but it was not convulsed by
-grief, and her eyes did not look as though
-they had shed tears, although there was no
-hardness in their depths. They shone with
-something of star-like brightness, at once
-soft and brilliant. The sweet serenity that
-had long been the habitual expression of
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span>her face seemed intensified rather than
-changed.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice,” she said quietly, “where is
-your brother?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Has he not come in?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not that I know of.”</p>
-
-<p>“We must inquire. He has been so
-many hours gone. I am uneasy about
-him.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, never mind about him,” said
-Beatrice, quickly. “He will be all right.”</p>
-
-<p>“We must think of him,” she answered.
-“Tom, it was good of you to come back.
-What brought you? Did you hear?”</p>
-
-<p>“I heard a rumour. Of course I came
-back. Is there anything I can do?” He
-spoke abruptly, like a man labouring under
-some weight of oppression.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span></p>
-<p>“I wish you would go and inquire for
-Lord Haddon. Randolph sent him to the
-life-boat station, because he believed
-he would ride over faster than anybody
-else. I think he should be followed
-now, if he has not come back. I cannot
-think what can have detained him so
-long.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will go and make inquiries,” said
-Tom.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you. I should be much obliged
-if you would.”</p>
-
-<p>But as it turned out, there was no need
-for him to do this. Even as Monica spoke
-they became aware of a slight stir in the
-hall. Uncertain, rapid steps crossed the
-intervening space, and the next moment
-Haddon stood before them in the doorway,
-white, drenched, dishevelled, exhausted,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span>leaning as if for support against the
-framework, whilst his eyes sought those of
-his sister with a strange look of dazed
-horror.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice!” he cried, in a strained,
-unnatural tone. “Say it is not true!”</p>
-
-<p>Monica had stepped forward, anxious
-and startled at his appearance. The look
-upon her face must have brought conviction
-home to Haddon’s heart, and this
-terrible conviction completed the work
-begun by previous over-fatigue and
-exhaustion. He made two uncertain steps
-forward, looked round him in a dazed
-bewildered way; then putting his hand to
-his head with a sudden gesture as of pain,
-called out:</p>
-
-<p>“I say, what is it?—Look out!” and
-Tom had only just time to spring forward
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span>and guide his fall as he dropped in a dead
-faint upon the couch hard by.</p>
-
-<p>“Poor boy!” said Monica gently; “the
-shock has been too much for him.”</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
-<img src="images/i_060.jpg" width="350" height="179" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="26. MONICA">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.<br />
-
-<small>MONICA.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>Lord Haddon was carried upstairs by
-Tom’s direction, and put to bed at once,
-but it was a very long time before he
-recovered consciousness, and the doctor’s
-face was grave when he rejoined Monica
-and Beatrice an hour later.</p>
-
-<p>Afterwards they learned that he had
-reached the life-boat station, only to find
-the boat out in another direction, that he
-had lost his way in the darkness, and had
-been riding for hours over trackless moors,
-wet through by driving storms of rain,
-obliged often to halt, despite the cold and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span>wet, to wait for passing gleams of moonlight
-to show him his way; and this after
-a long day’s shooting and a long fast. He
-had reached the castle at last, utterly worn
-out and exhausted, only to hear the terrible
-news of the death of his best friend. The
-strain had been too much, and he had
-given way.</p>
-
-<p>He awoke to consciousness only in a
-high state of fever, with pain in every
-joint; and Beatrice, in answer to Tom’s
-question, admitted that her brother had
-had a sharp attack of rheumatic fever some
-three years before, and had always been
-rather susceptible to cold and damp ever
-since.</p>
-
-<p>Tom looked gravely at Monica.</p>
-
-<p>“I was afraid he was in for something of
-that kind.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Poor boy!” she said again, very
-gently. “I am so sorry. You will stay
-with us, Tom? It will be a comfort to
-have you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Of course I will stay,” he answered, in
-his abruptest fashion. “I shall sit up with
-Haddon to-night. You two must go to bed
-at once—I insist upon it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Come, Beatrice,” said Monica, holding
-out her hand. “We must obey orders you
-see.”</p>
-
-<p>As they went together up the broad
-staircase, Beatrice said, with a little sob:</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot bear to think of our giving
-you all this trouble—just now.”</p>
-
-<p>But Monica stopped her by a kiss.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you not learned by this time
-Beatrice, that the greatest help in bearing
-our own sorrows is to help others with
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span>their burdens? I am grieved for you, dear,
-that this other trouble should have come;
-but Tom is very clever, and we will all
-nurse him back to health again. Good-night,
-dearest. You must try to sleep, that
-you may be strong to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p>The next day Lord Haddon was very ill—dangerously
-ill—the fever ran very high,
-other unfavourable symptoms had showed
-themselves. Tom’s face was grave and
-absorbed, and Raymond, who came over
-at his brother’s request, looked even more
-anxious. Yet possibly this alarming illness
-of a guest beneath her roof was the very
-best thing that could have happened, as
-far as Monica herself was concerned. But
-for his illness, Beatrice and her brother
-must have left Trevlyn at once; it was
-probable that Monica would have elected
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span>to remain there entirely alone during the
-early days of her widowhood, alone in her
-own desolation, more heart-breaking to witness
-than any wild abandonment of grief,
-alone without even those last melancholy
-offices to perform, without even the solemn
-pageantry of a funeral to give some little
-occupation to the mind, or to bring home in
-its own incontrovertible way the fact that
-a loved being has passed away from the
-world for ever.</p>
-
-<p>Randolph had, as it were, vanished from
-this life almost as if spirited away. There
-was nothing to be done, no obsequies to be
-performed. For just a few days a faint
-glimmer of hope existed in some minds
-that a passing vessel might have picked
-him up, that a telegram announcing his
-safety might yet arrive; but at the end of
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span>a week every spark of such hope had died
-out, and Monica, who had never from the
-first allowed herself to be so buoyed up, put
-on her heavy widow’s weeds with the steady
-unflinching calmness that had characterised
-her throughout.</p>
-
-<p>She devoted herself to the task of nursing
-Lord Haddon, in which task she showed
-untiring care and skill. All agreed that it
-was best for her to have her thoughts and
-attention occupied in some quiet labour
-of love like this, and certainly her skill at
-this time was such as to render her
-services almost invaluable to the patient.</p>
-
-<p>Haddon lay for weeks in a very critical
-state, racked with pain and burning with
-fever. Without being always delirious, he
-was not in any way master of himself, and
-no one could soothe, or quiet, or compose
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span>him, during these long, weary days, except
-Monica. She seemed to possess a power
-that acted upon him like a charm. He
-might not always know her—very often he
-did not appear to recognise her, but he
-always felt her influence. At her bidding
-he would cease the restless tossing and
-muttering that exhausted his strength
-and gave him much needless pain. He
-would take from her hand food that no one
-else could persuade him to touch. She
-could often soothe him to sleep, simply by
-the sound of her voice, or the touch of
-her hand upon his burning brow.</p>
-
-<p>“If he pulls through it will be your
-doing,” Tom sometimes said to her. And
-Monica felt she could not do enough for the
-youth, who had suffered all this in carrying
-out her husband’s last command, and who
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span>had succumbed when his task was done, in
-hearing of the fate that had befallen his friend.</p>
-
-<p>A curious bond seemed established between
-those two, the power of which he felt
-with a throb of keen joy almost akin to pain,
-when at last the fever was subdued, and he
-began to know in a feeble, uncertain sort
-of fashion, what it was that had happened,
-and how life had been going with him
-during the past weeks.</p>
-
-<p>It was of Monica he asked the
-account of that terrible night, and from
-her lips he learned the story to which none
-else had dared to allude in her presence.
-It was he who talked to her of Randolph,
-recalled incidents of the past, talked of
-their boyish days and the escapades they
-had indulged together, passing on to the
-increase of mutual understanding and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span>affection that had bound them together as
-manhood advanced.</p>
-
-<p>Nobody else talked to her like this.
-Haddon never could have done so, had
-not weakness and illness brought them
-into such close communion one with
-another. His feelings towards Monica
-were those of simple adoration—he
-worshipped the very ground she trod on.
-He often felt that to die with her hand
-upon his head, her eyes looking gently and
-kindly into his, was all and more than he
-could wish. His intense loving devotion
-gave him a sort of insight into her true
-nature, and he knew by instinct that
-he did not hurt her when he talked to
-her of him who was gone. Perhaps from
-no other lips could Monica have borne that
-name to be spoken just then; but Haddon
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span>in his hours of wandering had talked so
-much of Randolph, that she had grown
-used to hear him speak of the husband she
-had loved and lost, and she knew by the
-way in which he had betrayed himself then
-how deeply and truly he loved him.</p>
-
-<p>When the fever had gone, and the patient
-lay white and weak, hardly able to move
-or speak, yet with a mind cleared from the
-haunting shadows of delirium, eager to
-know the history of all that had passed, it
-had not seemed very hard then, in answer
-to the wistful look in the big grey eyes,
-and the whispered words from the pale lips
-to tell him all the truth; and the ice once
-broken thus, it had been no effort to talk of
-Randolph afterwards, and to let Haddon
-talk of him too.</p>
-
-<p>This outlet did her good. She was
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span>not a woman to whom talking was a
-necessity, yet it was better for her to speak
-sometimes of the sorrow that was weighing
-upon her crushed spirit; and it was far, far
-easier to do this to a listener like Haddon,
-who from his weakness and prostration
-could rise to no great heights of sympathy,
-could offer no attempt at consolation, could
-only look at her with wistful earnestness,
-and murmur a broken word from time to
-time, than it would have been to those who
-would have met her with a burst of tears,
-or with those quiet caresses and marks of
-sympathy that must surely have broken
-down her hardly-won composure and calm.</p>
-
-<p>So this illness of Haddon’s had really
-been a boon to her, and perhaps to others
-as well; but for a few weeks Monica’s life
-seemed passed in a sort of dream, and she
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span>was able to notice but little that passed
-around her. She was wrapped in a strange
-trance—she lived in the past with her
-husband, who sometimes hardly seemed to
-have left her. Only when ministering to
-the needs of the young earl did she arouse
-herself from her waking dream, and even
-then it sometimes seemed as if the dream
-were the reality, and the reality a dream.</p>
-
-<p>Tom was a great deal at Trevlyn just
-now. For a long time Haddon’s condition
-was so exceedingly critical that his presence
-was almost a necessity, and when the patient
-gradually became convalescent, Monica
-needed his help in getting through the
-business formalities that began to crowd
-upon her when all hopes of Randolph’s
-rescue became a thing of the past.</p>
-
-<p>Monica was happy at least in this—there
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span>was no need for her to leave her old home—no
-new earl to claim Trevlyn, and banish
-her from the place she loved best in the
-world. The Trevlyns were a dying race,
-as it seemed. Randolph and Monica were
-the last of their name, and the entail
-expired with him. Trevlyn was hers, as
-well as all her husband’s property. She
-was a rich woman, but in the first instance
-it was difficult to understand the position,
-and she naturally turned in her perplexity
-to Tom Pendrill, who was a thorough man
-of business, shrewd and hard-headed, and
-who, from his long acquaintance and connection
-with Trevlyn, understood more
-about the estate than anybody else she
-could have selected. He was very good to
-her, as she always said. He put himself
-entirely at her disposal, and played the
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span>part of a kind and wise brother. His dry,
-matter-of-fact manner of dealing with
-transfer of property, and such-like matters,
-was in itself a comfort. She was never
-afraid of talking things over with him.
-He kept sentiment studiously and entirely
-in the back-ground. Although she knew
-perfectly that his sympathy for her was
-very great, he never obtruded it upon her
-in the least; it was offered and accepted in
-perfect silence on both sides.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Pendrill, too, was a good deal at
-Trevlyn. She yearned over Monica in the
-days of her early widowhood, and she had
-grown very fond of Beatrice and her brother.
-Haddon wanted so very much care and
-nursing that Mrs. Pendrill’s presence in the
-house was often a help to all. Whilst
-Monica was in the sick room, she and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span>Beatrice spent many long hours together,
-and strange intimacy of thought sprang
-up between those two who were so far
-from each other in age and position.
-Haddon, too, was fond of the gentle-faced
-old lady, and he loved sometimes to get her
-all to herself, and make her talk to him of
-Monica.</p>
-
-<p>His illness had left its traces upon
-the earl. He had, despite his five-and-twenty
-years, seemed but a lad all this
-while; but when he left his bed, it was
-curious to see how much of boyishness had
-passed out of his face, how much quiet,
-thoughtful manliness had taken its place.</p>
-
-<p>Nobody quite knew how or why this
-change had been so marked. Perhaps the
-shock of his friend’s death had had something
-to do with it: perhaps the danger he
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span>had himself been in. Very near indeed to
-the gates of death had the young man
-stood. He had almost trodden the shadowy
-valley, even though his steps had been
-retraced to the land of the living. Perhaps
-it was this knowledge that made him pass
-as it were in one bound from boyhood to
-manhood—or was there some other cause
-at work?</p>
-
-<p>His face wore a look of curious purpose
-and resolution, oddly combined with a sort
-of mute, determined patience: his pale,
-sharpened face, that had changed so much
-during the past weeks, was changed in expression
-even more than in contour. His
-grey eyes, once always full of boyish
-merriment and laughter, were grave and
-earnest now: the eyes of a man full of
-thought, expressive of a hidden yet resolute
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span>purpose. These hollow eyes followed Monica
-about with unconscious persistency, and
-rested upon her with a sense of perfect
-content. When he grew a little stronger,
-and could just rise from the sofa and trail
-himself across the room, it was strange to
-mark how eager he was to render her
-those little instinctive attentions that come
-naturally from a man to a woman.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes Monica would accept them
-with a smile, oftener she would restrain
-him with a gentle commanding gesture, and
-bid him keep quiet till he was stronger;
-but she accepted his chivalrous admiration
-in the spirit in which it was offered, and
-let him look upon himself as her especial
-knight, as well he might, since to her skill
-and care Tom plainly told him he owed his
-life.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span></p>
-<p>She let him talk to her of Randolph,
-though none of the others dared to breathe
-that name. Sometimes she played to him
-in the dimness of the music-room—and
-even he hardly knew how privileged he
-was to be admitted there. She regarded
-him in the light of a loved brother, and
-felt tenderly towards him, as one who had
-done and suffered much in the same cause
-that had cost her gallant husband his life.
-What he felt towards her would be more
-difficult to analyse. At present he simply
-worshipped her, with a humble, devout
-singleness of purpose that elevated his
-whole nature. The vague, fleeting, distant
-hope that some day it might be given to
-him to comfort her had hardly yet entered
-into the region of conscious thought.</p>
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="27. HAUNTED">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH<br />
-
-<small>HAUNTED.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>Christmas had come and gone whilst Lord
-Haddon lay hovering between life and
-death. As the year turned, he began to
-regain health and strength; but his
-progress was exceedingly slow, and all
-idea of leaving Trevlyn was for the
-present entirely out of the question. A
-journey in mid-winter was not to be
-thought of. It would be enough to bring
-the whole illness back again; and Monica
-would not listen when he sometimes said,
-with diffidence and appeal, that he feared
-they were encroaching too much upon her
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span>hospitality and goodness. In truth, neither
-brother nor sister were in haste to leave
-Trevlyn, or to leave Monica alone in her
-desolate widowhood; and as Haddon’s state
-of health rendered a move out of the
-question, the situation was accepted with
-the more readiness.</p>
-
-<p>Monica was able now to resume something
-of the even tenor of her way, to take
-up her daily round of duties, and shape out
-her life in accordance with her strangely
-altered circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>All the old sense of dread connected with
-the sea had now vanished entirely. It never
-frowned upon her now. It was her friend
-always—the haunting presentiment of
-dread had passed away with the actual
-certainty. Henceforward nothing could
-hold for her any great measure of terror.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span>She had passed through the very worst
-already.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes Monica had a strange feeling
-that she was not alone during her favourite
-twilight pacings by the sea. She had a
-sense of being watched—followed—and
-the uneasiness of the dogs added to
-this impression. It troubled her but
-little, however. She had no fears for
-herself—she knew, too, that she was a
-little fanciful, and that it was hardly
-likely in reality that her footsteps were
-dogged.</p>
-
-<p>But one dim January evening, as she
-pursued her way along the margin of the
-sea, she was startled by seeing some large
-object lying dark upon the pebbly beach.
-Her heart beat more fast than was its wont,
-for she saw as she approached that it was
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span>the figure of a man, lying face downwards
-upon the damp stones.</p>
-
-<p>He did not look like a fisherman, he was
-too well dressed, and there seemed something
-not altogether unfamiliar in the
-aspect of the slight, well-proportioned
-figure. For a moment she could not recall
-the association, but as the dogs ran up
-snuffing and growling, the man started and
-sat up, revealing the pale, haggard face of
-Conrad Fitzgerald.</p>
-
-<p>Monica recoiled with an instinctive
-gesture of aversion. She had not seen
-him since those summer days when she had
-been haunted by the vision of his vindictive
-face and sinister eyes. But how he had
-changed since then! She could not help
-looking at him, he was so pale, so thin;
-his face was lined as if by pain, and his
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span>fiery eyes were set in deep hollows. There
-was something rather awful in his appearance,
-yet he did not look so wicked, so
-repulsive, as he had done many times
-before.</p>
-
-<p>A strange look of terror gleamed in his
-eyes as they met those of Monica.</p>
-
-<p>“Go away!” he cried wildly. “What
-do you come here for? Why do you look
-at me like that? Go—in mercy, go!”</p>
-
-<p>Monica was startled at his wild words
-and looks. Surely he was mad. But if
-so, she must show no fear of him; she
-knew enough to be aware of that.</p>
-
-<p>“What are you doing out here in the
-dark?” she said. “You ought not to be
-lying there this cold night. You had
-better go home, or you will lose your
-way in the dark.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p>
-<p>He laughed wildly.</p>
-
-<p>“Lose my way in the dark! It is always
-dark now—always, since that dark night—ha!
-ha!—that night!” His laugh was
-terrible in its wild despair. “Why do you
-look at me? Why do you speak to me?
-You should not! You should not! You
-would not if——oh, God! are you a ghost
-too?”</p>
-
-<p>Such an awful look of horror shone out
-of his eyes that Monica’s blood ran cold.
-His gaze was fixed on vacancy. He looked
-straight at her, yet as if he did not see
-her, but something beyond. The anguish
-and despair painted upon that wild, yet
-still beautiful, face smote Monica’s heart
-with a sense of deep sorrow and pity.</p>
-
-<p>“I am no ghost, Conrad,” she answered
-gently, trying if the sound of the old name
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span>would drive that wild madness out of his
-eyes. “Why are you afraid? What are
-you looking at? There is nothing there.”</p>
-
-<p>For his eyes were still glaring wildly
-into the darkness beyond, and as Monica
-spoke he lifted his arm, and pointed to
-something out at sea.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t look at me!” he whispered
-hoarsely, yet not as if he addressed Monica.
-“Don’t speak to me! If you speak, I
-shall go mad! I shall go mad, I say!
-Why do you haunt me so? Why do you
-look always like that? I had a right—all
-is fair in love and war—and hate! Why
-did you give me the chance? I had a vow—a
-vow in heaven—or hell! Ah! ha!
-Revenge is sweet, after all!” and he burst
-into a wild, discordant laugh, dreadful to
-hear.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span></p>
-<p>Monica shuddered, a sense of horror
-creeping over her. She did not catch the
-whole of his words, lost as that hoarse
-whisper was sometimes in the sullen plash
-of the advancing waves. The words were
-not addressed to her, but to some imaginary
-object visible only to the eye of madness.
-She attached no meaning to what she
-heard. She had no clue by which to
-unravel the workings of his disordered
-mind. Yet it was terrible to see his terror-stricken
-face, and listen to the exclamations
-addressed to a phantom foe. She tried to
-recall him to himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Conrad, there is no one here but ourselves.
-You have been dreaming.”</p>
-
-<p>Conrad turned his wild eyes towards her,
-but continued to point wildly over the
-sea.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Can you not see him? There—out
-there! His head—his eyes—ah, those
-eyes!—as he looked <em>then</em>—then! Ah,
-don’t look so at me, I say! You will
-kill me!”</p>
-
-<p>He buried his face in his hands and
-shuddered from head to foot. Monica,
-despite the shiver of horror that crept over
-her, felt more strongly than anything else
-a deep pity for one whose mind was so
-visibly shattered. Much of the past could
-be condoned to one whose mental faculties
-were so terribly unstrung. She came one
-step nearer, and laid her hand upon his
-arm.</p>
-
-<p>“You should not be out here alone,” she
-said. “You had better go home. It is
-growing dark already. If you will come
-with me to the lodge, I will see that you
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span>have a lantern; or, if you like, I will send
-a servant with a lantern with you.” She
-felt, indeed, that he was hardly in a condition
-to be out alone. She wished Tom
-Pendrill could see him now. But at the
-touch of her hand Conrad sprang back as
-if she had struck him. His eyes were
-full of shrinking horror.</p>
-
-<p>“Go away!” he said fiercely, “your
-hand burns me—it burns me, I say! How
-can you look at me or touch me? What
-have I done that you come here day by
-day to torment me? Is it not enough that
-<em>he</em> leaves me no peace night or day?—that
-he brings me down to this cursed place,
-whether I will or no, but you must haunt
-me too? Ah, it is too much—it is too
-much, I say!”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She could not catch all these rapidly-uttered
-words, but she read the hopeless
-misery of his face.</p>
-
-<p>“I do not wish to distress you, Conrad.
-Will you go home quietly now? You are
-not well; you should not be out here alone.
-Have you anybody there to take care of
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>He laughed again, and flung his arms
-above his head with a wild gesture of
-despair.</p>
-
-<p>“You say this to me—you! you! It only
-wanted this. My God, this is too much!”</p>
-
-<p>He turned from her and sprang away in
-the darkness. She heard his steps as he
-dashed recklessly up the cliff path—so
-recklessly that she half expected to hear
-the sound of a slip and a fall—and then as
-he reached the summit and turned inland,
-they died away into silence.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span></p>
-<p>Monica drew a long breath of relief
-when she found herself alone. There was
-something expressibly awful in talking
-alone to a madman in the dimness of the
-dying day, in hearing his wild words
-addressed to some phantom shadow seen
-only by his disordered vision. She shivered
-a little as she turned towards him. She
-could stay no longer in that lonely place.</p>
-
-<p>She met Tom looking out for her on her
-return. He said something about her
-staying out too long in the darkness. She
-laid her hand upon his arm, and pacing up
-and down the dark avenue, she told him of
-her adventure with the madman.</p>
-
-<p>“Tom, I am certain he ought to see a
-doctor. Will you not see if you can do
-something for him?”</p>
-
-<p>She could not see the expression of Tom’s
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span>face. Had she been able to do so, she
-would have been startled. His voice was
-very cold as he answered:</p>
-
-<p>“I am not a lunacy commissioner,
-Monica.”</p>
-
-<p>She was surprised, and a little hurt.</p>
-
-<p>“You are very hard, Tom. You
-saw him once before, why not again?”</p>
-
-<p>“If he, or his friends for him, require
-medical advice, I suppose they are capable
-of sending for it,” he said, adding with
-sudden fierceness, as it seemed to her,
-“Monica, Conrad Fitzgerald, ill or well, is
-nothing to you. It is not fit you should
-waste a single thought upon that scoundrel
-again!”</p>
-
-<p>She was surprised at his vehemence; it
-was so unlike Tom to speak with heat.
-What had there been in her account of
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span>the meeting to discompose him so greatly?
-Before she could attempt to frame the
-question, he had asked one of her—asked
-it abruptly, as it seemed irrelevantly.</p>
-
-<p>“How long has Fitzgerald been in these
-parts?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know? I have never seen him
-till to-night, nor heard of him at all?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nor I. Go in, Monica. It is too late
-for you to be out.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you?”</p>
-
-<p>“I will come presently.”</p>
-
-<p>“And you will think about what I asked
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>“I will think about it—yes.”</p>
-
-<p>The tone was enigmatic. She could not
-make Tom out at all, but she went in at
-his bidding. She knew that he wished to
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span>be alone, that he had something disturbing
-upon his mind, though what it was she
-could not divine.</p>
-
-<p>Tom, as it turned out, had no choice in
-the matter; for his brother sent to him
-next day a message to the effect that Fitzgerald’s
-servant had been to him with a
-very sad account of his master, who
-seemed to be suffering under an acute attack
-of delirium tremens. Raymond thought
-his brother, who had seen him once before,
-had better go the next day in a casual
-sort of way, and see if he could do anything.
-Fitzgerald was furious at the idea
-of having a doctor near him; but possibly
-he would not regard Tom in that light, and
-the servants would do all they could
-to obtain for him access to their master.
-They were terrified at his ravings, and
-half afraid he would do himself or them
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span>an injury if not placed under proper
-control.</p>
-
-<p>So Tom, upon the following afternoon,
-started for the old dilapidated house,
-without saying a word to anyone as to his
-destination, and was eagerly admitted by a
-haggard-looking servant, who said that his
-master was “terrible bad to-day—it was
-awful like to hear him go on,” and expressed
-it as his opinion that he was almost past
-knowing who was near him, he was so wild
-and delirious. He had kept his bed for the
-past two days, having been very ill since
-coming in, wet and exhausted, on the night
-Monica had seen him. Between the attacks
-of delirium he was as weak as a child; and
-with this much of warning and explanation,
-Tom was ushered upstairs.</p>
-
-<p>An hour later he left that desolate
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span>house with a quick, firm tread, that broke,
-as he turned a corner and was concealed
-from view, almost to a run. His face was
-very pale; it looked thinner and sharper
-than it had done an hour before, and his
-eyes were full of an unspeakable horror.
-Now and again a sort of shudder ran
-through his frame; but no word passed
-his tightly-compressed lips. He hurried
-through the tangled park as if some
-deadly malaria lurked there. He hardly
-drew his breath until he had left the
-trees and brake behind, and had
-plunged into the wild trackless moor;
-even then, goaded by his thoughts, he
-plunged blindly along for a mile or more,
-until at last, breathless and exhausted, he
-sank face downwards upon the heather,
-trembling in every limb.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span></p>
-<p>How long he lay there he never knew.
-He was roused at last by a touch upon his
-shoulder, and raising himself with a start,
-he looked straight into the startled eyes of
-Beatrice Wentworth.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
-<img src="images/i_096.jpg" width="400" height="58" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="28. LOVERS">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-EIGHTH.<br />
-
-<small>LOVERS.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>Tom sprang to his feet, and the two stood
-gazing at one another for a moment in
-mute surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“You are ill,” said Beatrice; “you
-are as white as a sheet. What is the
-matter?”</p>
-
-<p>She spoke anxiously. She looked half
-frightened at his strange looks; he saw
-it, and recovered himself instantly. It
-was perhaps the first time he had ever
-been taken unawares, and he was not
-altogether pleased that it had happened
-now.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span></p>
-<p>“What are you doing out here all
-alone?” he asked peremptorily.</p>
-
-<p>“What are you doing lying on the
-ground on a cold January evening?” she
-retorted. “Do you want to get rheumatic
-fever, too?”</p>
-
-<p>“Answer my question first. What
-are you doing out here, miles away from
-home, with the darkness coming on,
-too?”</p>
-
-<p>“I lost my way,” she answered carelessly.
-“I never can keep my bearings in
-these strange, wild places, where everything
-looks alike.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then I must take you home,” said Tom
-shortly.</p>
-
-<p>“You said you were going to dine at <abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr>
-Maws to-night,” she objected.</p>
-
-<p>“I shall take you home first,” he said.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span></p>
-<p>“It will be ever so much out of your
-road. Just show me the way. I shall find
-it fast enough.”</p>
-
-<p>“I dare say—After having lost it in
-broad daylight. You must come with me.
-I cannot trust you.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice flushed hotly as she turned and
-walked beside him. Was more meant than
-met the ear?</p>
-
-<p>“There is not the least need you
-should,” she said haughtily, and seemed
-disposed to say no more.</p>
-
-<p>Tom spoke first, spoke in his abrupt
-peremptory fashion. He was absorbed and
-distrait. She tried not to feel disappointed
-at his words.</p>
-
-<p>“Lady Beatrice, is it true that you knew
-Randolph Trevlyn intimately for many
-years?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Ever since I can remember. He was
-almost like a brother to us.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know if he ever had an
-enemy?”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice looked up quickly into his pale
-face.</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you ask?”</p>
-
-<p>“That is my affair. I do not ask
-without a reason. Think before you
-answer—if you can.”</p>
-
-<p>“Randolph was always such a favourite,”
-she began, but was interrupted by a quick
-impatient gesture from Tom.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t chatter,” he said, almost rudely,
-“think!”</p>
-
-<p>Oddly enough this brusque reminder did
-not offend her. She saw that Tom’s nerves
-were all on edge, that they were strung to
-a painful pitch of tension. She began to
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span>catch some of his earnestness and determination.</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice was taken out of herself, and
-from that moment her manner changed for
-the better. She thought the matter over
-in silence.</p>
-
-<p>“I have heard that Sir Conrad Fitzgerald
-had an old grudge against him.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” breathed Tom softly.</p>
-
-<p>“But I fancied, perhaps, that Monica’s
-influence had made them friends. Randolph
-knew some disreputable story
-connected with Sir Conrad’s past life—Haddon
-knows more about it than I do—and
-he always hated him for it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” said Tom again.</p>
-
-<p>“Why do you ask?” questioned Beatrice
-again; but he gave her no answer.
-He was wrapped in deep thought. She
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span>looked at him once or twice, but said no
-more. He was the first to speak, and the
-question was a little significant.</p>
-
-<p>“You were down on the shore with
-Monica and Trevlyn that night, were you
-not?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was Fitzgerald there, too?”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him with startled eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“No; certainly not.”</p>
-
-<p>“Can you be sure of that? Was there
-moon enough to show plainly everything
-that went on?”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice put up her hand to her head.</p>
-
-<p>“No,” she answered. “I ought not to
-have spoken so positively. It was too
-dark to see anything. There might have
-been dozens of people there whom I might
-never have seen. I was much too anxious
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span>and excited to keep a sharp look-out—why
-should I?—and there was not a gleam
-of moonlight till many minutes after the
-boat got back, and the confusion was very
-great all the time. Why do you talk so?
-Why do you ask such a question?”</p>
-
-<p>She spoke with subdued excitement and
-insistance.</p>
-
-<p>“<em>Somebody</em> was in that boat unknown
-to the crew,” he answered significantly.</p>
-
-<p>“Was there?”</p>
-
-<p>“Somebody steered the boat to shore.
-You do not share, I presume, in the
-popular belief of the phantom coxswain?”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice stopped short, trembling and
-scared.</p>
-
-<p>“You think——?” but she could only
-get out those two words; she knew not how
-to frame the question.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p>
-<p>He bent his head. “I do.”</p>
-
-<p>But she put out her hand with a quick,
-passionate gesture, as if fighting with some
-hideous phantom.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! no! no! It could not be. It
-would be too unspeakably awful—too
-horrible! How do you know? How can
-you say such things? What has put such
-a hideous thought into your mind?”</p>
-
-<p>“I came from standing by Fitzgerald’s
-bed, listening to his words of wandering,
-his delirious outbursts. It is plain
-enough what phantoms are haunting
-him now—what pictures he is seeing,
-as he lies in the stupor of drink and
-opium. He is trying to drown thought
-and remorse, but he has not succeeded
-yet.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice shuddered strongly, and faltered
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span>a little in her walk. Tom took her hand
-and placed it within his arm.</p>
-
-<p>“You are tired, Beatrice?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; but it is so awful. Tom”—calling
-him so as unconsciously as he had
-called her Beatrice—“must Monica know
-this? Oh! it was cruel enough before—but
-this——”</p>
-
-<p>“She shall never know,” said Tom
-quickly. “To what end should we add this
-burden to what she carries now? No one
-could prove it—it may be nothing more
-than some sick fancy, engendered by the
-thought of what might have been. Mind
-you, I have no moral doubts myself; but
-the man is practically mad, and no confession
-or evidence given by him would be
-accepted. He has fulfilled his vow—he
-has murdered—practically murdered his
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span>foe; but Monica must be spared the knowledge:
-she must never know.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, never! never!” cried Beatrice;
-and her voice expressed so much feeling,
-that Tom turned and looked at her in the
-fading light.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you a heart after all, Beatrice?”
-he asked.</p>
-
-<p>She made no answer; her heart beat
-wildly, answering in its own fashion the
-question asked, but not in a way that he
-could hear.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice,” rather fiercely, “why did
-you not marry the marquis?”</p>
-
-<p>“Because I loathed him.”</p>
-
-<p>“You did not always loathe him?”</p>
-
-<p>“I did, I did, always.”</p>
-
-<p>“You flirted with him disgracefully,
-then.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span></p>
-<p>She looked up with something of pleading
-in her dark eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I was but eighteen.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you never flirt now?”</p>
-
-<p>She looked up again, her eyes flashing
-strangely.</p>
-
-<p>“What right have you to ask such a
-question?”</p>
-
-<p>“The right of the man who loves you,”
-he answered, in the same half-fierce, half-bitter
-way—“who loves you with every
-fibre of his being; and although he has
-proved you vain and frivolous and heartless
-once and again, cannot tear your
-image from his heart. Do not think I am
-complaining. I suppose you have a right
-to please yourself; but sometimes I feel
-as if no man had ever been treated so
-abominably as I have been by you.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span></p>
-<p>“You by me!” she answered, panting in
-her excitement, “when it was you who
-left me in a fury, without one word of
-farewell.”</p>
-
-<p>“I thought I had had my <i lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">congé</i> pretty
-distinctly.”</p>
-
-<p>“You had had nothing of the kind—nothing
-but a few wild confused words
-from a mere child, frightened and bewildered
-by happiness and nervousness
-into the silliest of speeches a silly girl
-could make at such a moment. But you
-cannot understand—you never will—you
-are made of stone, I think.”</p>
-
-<p>He turned upon her quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“I wish I were, sometimes,” he said;
-“I wish it when I am near you. You make
-me love you—I am powerless in your
-hands, and you—you——”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span></p>
-<p>“I love you with all my heart. I have
-never loved anybody else, and you
-have behaved cruelly, disgracefully to me
-always.” The words came all at once in
-one vehement burst of passion.</p>
-
-<p>He stopped short, wheeled round, and
-stood facing her. He could only just see
-her face as they stood thus in the gathering
-dusk.</p>
-
-<p>“Beatrice,” he said, slowly, “what did
-you say just now? Say it again.”</p>
-
-<p>Defiance shone out of her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I will not!” she said, her cheeks
-flaming.</p>
-
-<p>He took both her hands in his and held
-them hard.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes you will,” he answered. “Say it
-again.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>She was panting with a strange mixture
-of feeling; the earth and sky seemed
-to spin round together.</p>
-
-<p>“Say it again, Beatrice.”</p>
-
-<p>“I said—I loved you; but I don’t—I
-will never, never say it again——”</p>
-
-<p>She got no farther, for he held her so
-closely in his arms that all speech was impossible
-for the moment.</p>
-
-<p>“That will do,” he answered. “I
-don’t want you to say it again. Once is
-enough.”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>“Monica,” said Beatrice in the softest
-of whispers as she came into the quiet
-room where her brother lay asleep upon
-the sofa, and Monica sat dreaming beside
-the fire. “Ah, Monica, Monica!” and
-then she stopped short, kneeling down,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span>and turning her quivering face and swimming
-eyes towards the face bent tenderly
-over her.</p>
-
-<p>Somehow it was never needful to say
-much to Monica. She always understood
-without many words. She bent her head
-now, and kissed Beatrice.</p>
-
-<p>“Is it so, then, dear?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you know?”</p>
-
-<p>“I knew what you told me yourself,
-and I could see for myself that he had not
-forgotten any more than you.”</p>
-
-<p>“I did not see it.”</p>
-
-<p>“Possibly not—neither did he; but
-sometimes love is very blind—and very
-wilful too.”</p>
-
-<p>Was there a touch of tender reproach
-in the tone? Beatrice looked at her
-earnestly.</p>
-
-<p>“I know what you mean,” she said.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span>“We both want to be master; but I
-think—I am afraid—he will have the
-upper hand now.”</p>
-
-<p>But the smile that quivered over the
-upturned face was full of such sweetness
-and brightness that Monica kissed her
-again.</p>
-
-<p>“You will not find him such a tyrant as
-he professes to be. Tom is very generous
-and unselfish, despite his affectation of
-cynicism. I am so glad you have made
-him happy at last. I am so glad that our
-paths in life will not lie very widely
-apart.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice took Monica’s hand and kissed
-it.</p>
-
-<p>“I am so happy,” she said simply. “And
-I owe it all to you.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica caressed the dark head laid
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span>against her knee, as Beatrice subsided into
-her favourite lowly position at Monica’s
-feet. Presently she became aware that the
-girl’s tears were falling fast.</p>
-
-<p>“Crying, dearest?” she questioned
-gently.</p>
-
-<p>A stifled sob was the answer.</p>
-
-<p>“What is the matter, my child?”</p>
-
-<p>“Randolph!” was all that Beatrice
-could get out. Somehow the desolation
-of Monica’s life had never come home to
-her with quite the same sense of realisation
-as now, in the hour of her deepest
-happiness.</p>
-
-<p>“He would be glad,” answered Monica,
-steadily and sweetly. “He loved you
-dearly, Beatrice; and he and Tom were
-always such friends. It was his hope that
-all would come right. If he can see us
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span>now, as I often think he can, he will be
-rejoicing in your happiness now. You
-must shed no tears to-night, dearest, unless
-they are tears of happiness.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice suddenly half rose, and hung
-her arms round Monica.</p>
-
-<p>“How can you bear it? How can you
-bear it? Monica, I think you are an
-angel. No one in this wide world was
-ever like you. And to think——” she
-shuddered strongly and stopped short.</p>
-
-<p>“You are excited and over-wrought,”
-said Monica gently. “You must not let
-yourself be knocked up, or Tom will scold
-me when he comes back. See, Haddon is
-waking up. He had such a bad headache,
-poor boy; I hope he has slept it off. You
-must tell him the news—it will please him
-I am sure.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span></p>
-<p>“You tell him,” whispered Beatrice,
-and slipped away to relieve her over-burdened
-heart by a burst of tears; for
-one strange revelation following upon
-another had tried her more than she had
-known at the time.</p>
-
-<p>Haddon was quietly pleased at the news.
-He liked Tom; he had fancied that he and
-Beatrice were not altogether indifferent to
-each other, so this conclusion did not
-take him altogether by surprise. He was
-sorry to think of losing Beatrice, but not
-as perplexed as he would have been some
-months before. Life looked different to
-him now—more serious and earnest. He
-began to have aspirations of his own. He
-no longer regarded existence as a sort of
-pleasant easy game of play.</p>
-
-<p>Certainly it seemed as if the course of
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span>true love as regarded Beatrice and Tom,
-after passing its early shoals and quicksands,
-were to run quietly and smoothly
-enough now. He came back from <abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr>
-Maws in time for dinner, and when dessert
-was put on the table, he announced his
-plans with the hardihood characteristic of
-the man.</p>
-
-<p>“Aunt Elizabeth is delighted, Beatrice,
-and so is Raymond,” he said. “I have
-told them that we will be married almost
-at once, within two months, at least—oh,
-you needn’t look like that. I think I’ve
-waited long enough—pretty well as long as
-Jacob——”</p>
-
-<p>“Did for Leah—and didn’t like her in
-the end—don’t make that your precedent.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, don’t interrupt,” proceeded Tom
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span>imperturbably. “We’ve got it all beautifully
-arranged. I’m going to take part of
-the regular practice, as Raymond has
-always been bothering me to do ever since
-it increased so much, and we’re to have
-half the house for our establishment, and
-he and Aunt Elizabeth the other. It was
-originally two houses, and lends itself excellently
-to that arrangement, though I dare
-say practically we shall be all one household,
-as you and our aunt have managed to
-hit it off so well. Monica, can’t Beatrice
-be married from Trevlyn when Haddon is
-well enough to give her away? It would
-save a lot of bother. I hate flummery, and
-I’m sure she does too. Come now, Beatrice,
-don’t laugh. Don’t you think that would
-be an excellent arrangement? Here we
-are; what is the good of getting all split
-up again? You’ll be losing your heart to
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span>another marquis if I let you out of my
-sight.”</p>
-
-<p>Her eyes were dancing with mischievous
-merriment. She was more than ready to
-enter the lists.</p>
-
-<p>“Just listen to the tyrant—trying to
-keep me a prisoner already! trying to take
-everything into his own hands—and not
-content without adding insult to injury!”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes too were alight; but his mouth
-was grim.</p>
-
-<p>“I have not forgotten how you served
-me last time, my lady.”</p>
-
-<p>“At Oxford?”</p>
-
-<p>“At Oxford.”</p>
-
-<p>“Monica, listen. I will tell you how I
-served him. I had eyes for no one but
-him, silly girl that I was; I was with him
-morning, noon and night. Child as I was
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span>at the time, careless and inexperienced,
-even <em>I</em> was absolutely ashamed at the open
-preference I showed him; I blush even
-now to think of the undisguised way in
-which I flung myself at a particularly hard
-head. And yet he pretends he did not
-understand! If that is so, then for real,
-downright, hopeless stupidity and obtuseness,
-commend me to an Oxford double-first-class-man!”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice might get the best of it in an
-encounter of tongues, but Tom had his own
-way in the settlement of their affairs,
-possibly because her resistance was but a
-pretence. What, indeed, had they to wait
-for, when they had been waiting so many
-long years for one another?</p>
-
-<p>Nothing clouded the horizon of their
-happiness. Even the hideous shadow which
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span>had been in a sense the means of bringing
-them together seemed to have vanished
-with the sudden disappearance of Conrad
-Fitzgerald from the neighbourhood. Upon
-the very day following Tom’s visit to him,
-he left his house, ill and weak as he was,
-to join his sister at Mentone. His servant
-accompanied him. The desolate house
-was shut up once more, and Tom Pendrill
-sincerely hoped that the haunting baleful
-influence of that wild and wicked nature
-had passed from their lives for ever.</p>
-
-<p>And Beatrice after all was married at
-Trevlyn, in the little cliff church that had
-seen the hands of Randolph and Monica
-joined in wedlock. She resisted a good
-while, feeling afraid that it would be
-painful to Monica—a second wedding, and
-that within a few months of her own
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span>widowhood. But Monica took part with
-Tom, and the bride elect gave way,
-only too delighted at heart to be with
-Monica to the very last.</p>
-
-<p>It was a very quiet wedding—as quiet
-as Monica’s own—even the people gathered
-together in the little church had hardly
-changed. Only one short year had passed
-since Monica in her snowy robes had stood
-before that little altar, with the marriage
-vow upon her lips—only a year ago, and
-now?</p>
-
-<p>Yet Monica’s face was very calm and
-sweet. She shed no tears, she seemed to
-have no sad thoughts for herself, however
-others might feel. One pair of grey eyes
-seldom wandered from her face as the simple
-ceremonies of the day proceeded. One
-heart was far more occupied with thoughts
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span>of the pale-faced widow than of the blooming
-bride.</p>
-
-<p>Haddon quitted Trevlyn almost immediately
-after his sister. The words of
-thanks he tried to speak faltered on his
-tongue, and would not come.</p>
-
-<p>Monica understood, and answered by
-one of her sweetest smiles.</p>
-
-<p>“You were Randolph’s friend; you are
-my friend now. You must not try to
-thank me. I am so very glad to think of
-the link that binds us together. I shall
-not lose sight of you whilst Beatrice is
-so near. You will come again some
-day?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, Lady Trevlyn,” he answered
-quietly, “I will come again;” and he
-raised the hand he held for one moment
-very reverently to his lips.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span></p>
-<p>As he drove away he looked back,
-and saw Monica still standing upon the
-terrace.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he said quietly to himself, “I
-will come back—some day.”</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
-<img src="images/i_123.jpg" width="400" height="40" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="29. “AS WE FORGIVE.”">CHAPTER THE TWENTY-NINTH.<br />
-
-<small>“AS WE FORGIVE.”</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>A year had passed away since that fatal
-night when Randolph had left his wife
-standing on the shore—had gone away in
-the darkness and had returned no more:
-a year had passed, with its chequered lights
-and shades, but the anniversary of her
-husband’s death found Monica, as he had
-left her, at Trevlyn—alone.</p>
-
-<p>Many things had happened during that
-year. Beatrice had married and settled
-happily in the picturesque red house at
-<abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr> Maws as Tom Pendrill’s loving, brilliant
-wife. Monica had been to Germany once
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span>again, to assure herself with her own eyes
-of the truth of the favourable reports sent to
-her. She had had the satisfaction of seeing
-how great an improvement had taken
-place in Arthur’s condition; that although
-the cure was slow—would most likely need
-a second, possibly even a third year before
-it would be absolutely complete, yet it was
-practically certain, if he and those who
-held his fate in their hands would but
-have patience and perseverance. The boy
-was quite happy in the establishment of
-which he was a member. He had gone
-through the most trying part of the
-treatment, and was enthusiastic about the
-kindness and skill of his doctor. He had
-made many friends, and had quite lost
-the home-sickness that had occasionally
-troubled him at first. He was delighted
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span>to see Monica again. He was insistant that
-she should come to see him often; but he
-did not even wish to return to Trevlyn till
-he could do so whole and sound, as a man
-in good health and strength, instead of a
-helpless invalid.</p>
-
-<p>Monica was summoned from Germany
-by the news of the dangerous illness of
-Lady Diana, who died only a few days
-after the arrival of her niece. She had
-been talking of making a permanent home
-at Trevlyn now that Monica was so utterly
-alone, but her death stopped all such
-schemes; and so it came about that in
-absolute solitude the young widowed
-countess took up her abode for the winter
-in the great silent castle beside the sea.</p>
-
-<p>The sea still exercised its old fascination
-over Monica. Her happiest hours were
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span>spent wandering by its brink or riding
-along the breezy cliff. It was a friend indeed
-to her in those days, it frowned upon
-her no more. It had done its worst already—it
-had taken away the light of her life.
-Might it not be possible—was there not
-something of promise in its eternal music?
-Could it be that in some unexpected,
-mysterious way it would bring back some
-of the light that had been taken away—would
-be the means of uniting once again
-the hearts that had been so cruelly
-sundered? Strange thoughts and fancies
-flitted often through her brain, formless
-and indistinct, but comforting withal.</p>
-
-<p>Returning to the castle at dusk one
-day, after one of these solitary rambles,
-she found an unusual bustle and excitement
-stirring there. Wilberforce hurried
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span>forward to explain the cause of the unwonted
-tumult.</p>
-
-<p>“I hope I have not done wrong, my
-lady. You were not here to give orders,
-and I could only act as I felt you would
-wish. A lad came running in with a
-scared face not half an hour back, saying
-there was a man lying at the foot of the
-cliffs, as if he had fallen over. I scarce
-think he can be alive if that be so; but I
-told the men that if he was—as there is no
-other decent house near—I thought you
-would wish——”</p>
-
-<p>“That he should be brought here.
-Quite right, Wilberforce. Is there a room
-ready? Has Mr. Pendrill been sent for?”</p>
-
-<p>“The groom has gone this twenty
-minutes. Living or dead, he must have a
-doctor to him. The maids are getting the
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span>east room ready, yet I doubt if he can be
-living after such a fall.”</p>
-
-<p>“He may not have fallen over the cliff.
-He may have been scaling it, and have
-dropped from but a small height. See that
-everything likely to be needed is ready.
-He may be here almost immediately now.”</p>
-
-<p>She went up to the bed-room herself, to
-see if it were ready should there be need.
-It was probably only some poor tramp or
-fisherman who had met with the accident—no
-matter, he should be tended at
-Trevlyn, he should lie in its most comfortable
-guest-chamber, he should have every
-care that wealth could supply. Monica
-knew too well the dire results that might
-follow a slip down those hard, treacherous
-cliffs not to feel peculiarly tender and
-solicitous over another victim.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span></p>
-<p>The steady tramp of feet ascending the
-stairs and approaching the room where she
-stood, roused Monica to the knowledge that
-the injured man was not dead, and that
-they were bringing him up to be tended
-and nursed as she had directed. The door
-was pushed open; six men carried in their
-burden upon an improvised stretcher, and
-laid it just as it was upon the bed. Monica
-stepped forward, and then started, growing
-a little pale; for she recognised in the
-death-like rigid face before her the well-known
-countenance of Conrad Fitzgerald.</p>
-
-<p>She could not look without a shudder at
-that shattered frame, and Wilberforce
-shook her head gravely, marvelling that
-he yet breathed. None save professional
-hands dared touch him, so distorted and
-dislocated was every limb; and yet by one
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span>of those strange coincidences, not altogether
-uncommon in cases of accident, the beautiful
-face was entirely untouched, not marred
-by a scratch or contusion. Death-like
-unconsciousness had set its seal upon those
-chiselled, marble features, and had wiped
-from them every trace of passion or of vice.</p>
-
-<p>Tom Pendrill was amongst them long
-before they looked for him. He had met
-the messenger not far from Trevlyn, and
-had come at once. He turned Monica out
-of the room with a stern precipitancy that
-perplexed her somewhat, as did also the
-expression of his face, which she did not
-understand. He shut himself up with his
-patient, retaining the services of Wilberforce
-and one of the men.</p>
-
-<p>It was two hours before she saw him
-again.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span></p>
-<p>Monica wandered up and down the dark
-hall, revolving many things in her mind.
-What had brought Conrad so suddenly
-back at this melancholy time of the year?
-She had believed him abroad with his
-sister, with whom he seemed to have spent
-his time since his disappearance early in
-the spring. What had brought him back
-now? And why did he so haunt the
-frowning, treacherous cliffs of Trevlyn?
-Was he mad? But why did his madness
-always drive him to this spot? She asked
-many such questions of herself, but she
-could answer none of them.</p>
-
-<p>At last Tom came down. His face
-looked as if carved in flint. She could not
-read the meaning of his glance.</p>
-
-<p>“Is he dead?” she asked softly.</p>
-
-<p>“He cannot last long. If he has any
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span>relations near, they should be telegraphed
-for.”</p>
-
-<p>“His sister is in Italy, I believe. There
-is no one else that I know of.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then there is nothing to be done. He
-is sinking fast. He cannot live many hours.
-I doubt if he will last the night.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica’s face was pale and grave.</p>
-
-<p>“Poor Conrad!” she said, beneath her
-breath.</p>
-
-<p>Tom started, and made a quick movement
-as of repulsion.</p>
-
-<p>“No one could wish him to live,” he
-began, almost roughly; “he has hardly a
-whole bone in his body.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is he conscious?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, nor likely to be. It is not at all
-probable he will ever open his eyes again.
-He will most likely sink quietly, without a
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span>sound or a sign. I have done all I can for
-him. Somebody must be with him to watch
-him, I suppose. It can only be a question
-of hours now.” A dark cloud hung upon
-the doctor’s brow. His thoughts were preoccupied.
-Presently he spoke again—a
-sort of mutter between his teeth.</p>
-
-<p>“He ought not to be allowed to die here—under
-<em>this</em> roof. It is monstrous—hateful
-to think of! Nothing can save him.
-Yet I suppose it would be murder to move
-him now.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked up quickly.</p>
-
-<p>“Move him! Tom, what are you thinking
-of?”</p>
-
-<p>“I know it cannot be done,” was the
-answer, spoken in a stern, dogged tone.
-“Yet I repeat what I said before: he ought
-not to be under this roof.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span></p>
-<p>There was a gentle reproach in the look
-that Monica bent upon him.</p>
-
-<p>“My husband’s roof and mine will
-always be a refuge for any whose need
-is as sore as his. Sometimes I think, Tom,
-that you are the very hardest man I ever
-met. His life, I know, is terribly stained;
-yet it is not for us to judge him.”</p>
-
-<p>It seemed as if Tom were agitated. He
-gave no outward sign, but his face was
-pale, his manner curiously harsh and peremptory.</p>
-
-<p>“You do not know,” he said. “Your
-husband——”</p>
-
-<p>She stopped him by a gesture.</p>
-
-<p>“My husband would be the first to bid
-me return good for evil. You know Randolph
-very little if you do not know that.
-Conrad is dying, and death wipes out much.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span>He is about to answer for his life to a higher
-tribunal than ours. Ah! let us not condemn
-him harshly. Have we not all our
-sins upon our heads? When my turn
-comes to answer for mine, let me not have
-this one added—that I hardened my heart
-against the dying, and denied the help and
-succour mutely asked at the last hour.”</p>
-
-<p>“Monica,” said Tom, with one of those
-swift changes that marked his manner when
-he was deeply moved, “were I worthy, I
-would kiss the hem of your garment. As
-it is, I can only say farewell. God be with
-you!”</p>
-
-<p>He was gone before she could open her
-lips again. She stood in a sort of dream,
-feeling as if some strange thing were about
-to happen to her.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Night fell upon the castle and its inhabitants,
-but Monica could not sleep. If ever
-she closed her eyes in momentary slumber,
-the same vivid dream recurred again and
-again, till she was oppressed and exhausted
-by the effort to escape from it. It was
-Conrad, always Conrad, begging, praying,
-beseeching her to come. Sometimes it
-seemed as if his shadowy form stood beside
-her, wildly praying the same thing—to come
-to him—to come before it was too late.</p>
-
-<p>At last she could stand it no longer.
-She rose and dressed. The clock in the
-tower struck four. She knew she could
-sleep no more that night. Why should
-she not take the watch beside the unconscious
-dying man, and let the faithful
-Wilberforce get some rest?</p>
-
-<p>She stole noiselessly to the sick room.
-There had been no change in the patient’s
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span>state. He lived, but could hardly live much
-longer. Wilberforce would fain have
-stayed, but Monica dismissed her quietly
-and firmly, preferring to keep her watch
-alone.</p>
-
-<p>Profound silence reigned in the great
-house—silence only broken from time to
-time by the reverberating strokes of the
-clock in the tower, or by the sudden sinking
-of the coal in the grate and the quiet
-fall of the cinders. There was something
-inexpressibly solemn in the time, the place,
-and the office thus undertaken by Monica.</p>
-
-<p>Conrad lay dying—Conrad, once her
-friend and playmate, then her bitterest,
-cruellest foe, now?—ah yes, what now?—she
-asked that question many times of
-herself. What strange, mysterious power
-is that of death! How it blots out all
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span>hatred, anger, bitterness, and distrust, and
-leaves in its place a sort of tender, mournful
-compassion. Who can look upon the
-face of the dead, and cherish hard thoughts
-of him that is gone?</p>
-
-<p>Not Monica, at least. Conrad had been
-to her as the evil genius of one crisis of her
-life—of more had she but known it. She
-had said in her heart that she could never
-forgive him, that she would never voluntarily
-look upon his face again, and yet
-here he lay dying beneath her roof, and she
-was with him. She could not, when it
-came to the point, leave him to die alone,
-with only a stranger beside him. He might
-never know, his eyes would probably never
-open to the light of this world again; but she
-should know, and in years to come, when
-time should, even more than now, have
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span>softened all things to her, she knew that
-she should be glad to think she had shown
-mercy and compassion towards one in death,
-who had shown himself in life her bitterest
-foe.</p>
-
-<p>Very solemn thoughts filled her mind as
-she sat in that quiet room, in which a strong
-young life was quickly ebbing away. Would
-the sin-stained soul pass into the shadowy
-land of the hereafter in silence and darkness,
-without one moment for preparation—perhaps
-for repentance? Would some slight
-gleam of consciousness be granted? would
-it be vouchsafed to him to wake once more
-in this world, to give some sign to the
-earnest, silent watcher whether he had tried
-to make his peace with God before he was
-called to his last account?</p>
-
-<p>The lamp burned low—flickered in its
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span>socket. That strange blue <em>film</em>, the first
-forerunner of the coming day, stole
-solemnly into that quiet room. Suddenly
-Monica became aware that Conrad’s eyes
-were open, and fixed intently upon her
-face. She rose and stood beside him.</p>
-
-<p>“You are here?” he said, in a strange
-low voice. “I felt that you would hear
-me call—and would come. I knew I
-could not—die—till I had told you all.”</p>
-
-<p>She did not know how far he was
-conscious. His words were strange, but
-his eye was calm and quiet. He took the
-stimulant she held to his lips. It gave him
-an access of strength.</p>
-
-<p>“Where am I?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p>“At Trevlyn.”</p>
-
-<p>A strange look flitted over his face.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! I remember now—I fell. And I
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span>have been brought to Trevlyn—to die—and
-you, Monica, are with me. It is
-well.”</p>
-
-<p>She hardly knew what to say, or how to
-answer the awed look in those dying
-eyes. He bent a keen glance upon her.</p>
-
-<p>“Will it be soon?” he asked; and she
-knew that the “it” meant death. She
-could not deceive him. She bent her head
-in assent, as she said:</p>
-
-<p>“Very soon, I think.”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes never left her face. His own
-face moved not a muscle, but its expression
-changed moment by moment in a way she
-could not understand.</p>
-
-<p>“There is not much time left, Monica.
-Sit down by me where I can see you. I
-must make a confession to you before I
-die.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Not to me, Conrad,” said Monica
-gently. “Confess your sins to our Father
-in Heaven. He alone can grant forgiveness;
-and His mercies are very great.”</p>
-
-<p>“Forgiveness!” the word was spoken
-with an intensity of bitterness that startled
-Monica. The horror was deepening each
-moment in his eyes. She began to feel
-that it was reflected in her own. What did
-it all mean?</p>
-
-<p>“God is very merciful,” she said gently,
-commanding herself so that he should not
-see her agitation.</p>
-
-<p>“You do not know,” he interrupted
-almost fiercely. “Wait till I have told
-you all.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why should you tell me, Conrad? I
-know much of your past life. I know that
-you have sinned. Ask God’s forgiveness
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span>before it is too late. It is against Him,
-not me, that you have sinned.”</p>
-
-<p>“Against Him <em>and</em> you,” he answered
-with a grave intensity of manner that
-plainly showed him master of his faculties.
-“Listen to me, Monica—you shall listen!
-I cannot carry the guilty secret to the
-grave. Death looks me in the face—he
-holds me by the hand, but he will not let
-me leave this world till I have told you all.”</p>
-
-<p>A sort of horror fell upon Monica. She
-neither spoke nor moved.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica, turn your face this way. I
-want to see it. I must see it. You
-remember the night, a year ago, when—your
-husband—went away?”</p>
-
-<p>She bent her head in silence.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you know that I was there—in the
-boat with him?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p>
-<p>She raised her head, and looked at him
-speechlessly.</p>
-
-<p>“I was there,” he said, “but nobody
-knew, nobody suspected. I was on the
-shore before you. I saw you cling to him.
-I heard every word that passed. I think
-a demon entered into my soul as you kissed
-each other that night. ‘Kiss her!’ I said,
-‘kiss her—you shall never kiss her again!’
-Monica, I think sometimes I am mad—I
-was mad, possessed, that night. I had no
-will, no power to resist the evil spirit
-within me. He went down to the boat. I
-followed. In the black darkness nobody
-saw me swing myself in. You know the
-story the men told when they came back—it
-was all true enough. The crew of the
-sinking vessel had been rescued. Your
-husband left the boat to help the little lad.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span>I followed him, unknown to all. He had
-already handed the boy into the boat when
-I came stealthily up to him; the boat had
-swung round, and for a moment was lost in
-darkness before it could be brought up
-again. This was my chance. It was
-pitchy dark, and he did not see me, though
-I was close beside him. I had the great
-boat-hook in my hand; we were both
-sinking with the sinking vessel. I steadied
-myself, and brought the metal end of the
-weapon with all my strength upon his head.
-He sank without a cry. I saw his head,
-covered with blood, and his glassy eyes
-above the water for a moment—the sight
-has haunted me ever since—then I sprang
-into the boat. ‘All right!’ I shouted, and
-the men pulled off with a will, without a
-suspicion or a doubt. Almost before the
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span>boat reached the shore I sprang out, and
-vanished in the darkness before any one
-had seen me. My vow of vengeance was
-fulfilled. I murdered your husband Monica—do
-you understand?—I murdered him
-in cold blood! What have you to say to
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>She sat still as a marble statue, her hands
-closely locked together. She spoke no
-word.</p>
-
-<p>“I thought revenge would be sweet;
-but it has been bitter—bitter—bitter! I
-have known no peace night or day. I
-have been ceaselessly haunted by the sight
-of that ghastly face—ah, I see it now!
-Every time I lie down to sleep I am
-doomed to do that hideous deed again.
-I have fled time after time from the scene
-of my crime, only to be dragged back by
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span>a power I cannot resist. I knew that a
-terrible retribution would come; yet I
-could not keep away. And now—yes, it
-has come—more terrible than ever I
-pictured. I am dying—in his house—and
-you—his wife—are watching over me.
-Ah, it is frightful! Is there forgiveness
-with God for sin like mine? You say His
-mercies are great. Can they cover this
-hideous deed? Monica, can <em>you</em> forgive?”</p>
-
-<p>He spoke with the wild, passionate
-appeal of despair. The anguish and
-remorse in his face were terrible to see;
-but Monica did not speak. She sat rigid
-and still, as pale as death, her eyes glowing
-like living fire in the wild conflict of her
-feelings. This was terrible—too terrible
-to be borne.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica, I am dying—dying! The
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span>shadows are closing round me. Ah, do
-not turn away! It is all so dark; if you
-desert me I am lost indeed! If you were
-dying you would understand. Monica,
-you say God is good—merciful. I have
-asked His pardon again and again for this
-black sin, and even as I pray it seems as if
-you—your pale, still face—rises ever
-between me and the forgiveness I crave.
-I read by this token that to you I must
-confess this blackest sin; of you I must
-ask pardon too. I have repented. I do
-repent. I would give my life to call him
-back. Monica, forgive—forgive! Have
-mercy upon a dying man. As you will
-one day ask pardon at God’s hands even for
-your blameless life, give me your pardon
-ere I die!”</p>
-
-<p>Who shall estimate the struggle that
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span>raged in Monica’s soul during the brief
-moments that followed this appeal—moments
-that to her were like hours, years,
-for the concentrated passion of feeling that
-surged through them? She felt as if she
-had grown sensibly older, ere, white and
-shaken by the conflict, she won the victory
-over herself.</p>
-
-<p>She rose and stood beside him.</p>
-
-<p>“Conrad, I forgive you. May God
-forgive you as I do.”</p>
-
-<p>A sudden light flashed into his dim eyes.
-The awful, unspeakable horror passed slowly
-away. The deep darkness lifted a little—a
-very little—and Monica saw that it was so.</p>
-
-<p>“I think—you have—saved me,” he
-whispered, whilst the death damp gathered
-on his brow. “Monica, you will have your
-reward for this—I know it—I feel it. Ah!
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span>is this death? Monica—it is coming—teach
-me to pray—I cannot—I have
-forgotten—help me!”</p>
-
-<p>“I will help you, Conrad. Say it after
-me. ‘Our Father which art in Heaven,
-Hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom
-come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in
-Heaven; Give us this day our daily bread;
-And forgive us our trespasses; As we
-forgive’——”</p>
-
-<p>“‘As we forgive’——” Conrad broke
-off suddenly; a strange look of gladness,
-of relief, of comprehension, flashing over
-the face that had been so full of terror and
-anguish. “‘As we forgive’—and you have
-forgiven—then it may be that He will forgive
-too. I could not believe it before—now
-I can—God be merciful to me, a sinner!”</p>
-
-<p>Those were his last words. Already his
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span>eyes were glazing. The hush as of the
-shadow of death was filling that dim room.
-Monica knelt beside the bed, a sense of
-deep awe upon her, praying with all the
-strength of her pure soul for the guilty,
-erring man—her husband’s murderer—dying
-beneath his roof.</p>
-
-<p>And as she thus knelt and prayed, a
-sudden sense of her husband’s presence
-filled all her soul with an inexpressible,
-indescribable thrill of mingled rapture and
-awe. She trembled, and her heart beat
-thick and fast; whether she were in the
-spirit or out of the spirit she did not know.
-And then—in deep immeasurable distance,
-far, far away, and yet distinctly, sweetly
-clear—unmistakable—the sound of a voice—Randolph’s
-voice—thrilling through infinity
-of space:</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_153" id="Page_153">[153]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Monica! Monica! My wife!”</p>
-
-<p>She started to her feet, quivering in
-every limb. Conrad’s eyes were fixed upon
-her with an inexplicable look of joy. Had
-he heard it too? What did it mean—that
-strange cry from the spirit world in this
-hour of death and dawn?</p>
-
-<p>She leant over the dying man.</p>
-
-<p>“Conrad,” she said, in a voice that was
-full of an emotion too deep for any but the
-simplest of words, “I forgive you—so does
-Randolph; and I think God has forgiven
-you too.”</p>
-
-<p>The clear radiance of another day was
-shining upon the earth as the troubled,
-erring spirit was set free, and passed away
-into the great hereafter, whose secrets shall
-be read in God’s good time, when all but
-His Word shall have passed away.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154">[154]</a></span></p>
-<p>Let us not judge him—for is there not
-joy with the angels in heaven over one
-sinner that repenteth?</p>
-
-<p>Yes, all was over now: all the weary
-warfare of sin and strife; and with a calm
-majesty in death, that the beautiful face
-had never worn in life, Conrad Fitzgerald
-lay dead in Castle Trevlyn.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 350px;">
-<img src="images/i_154.jpg" width="350" height="202" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_155" id="Page_155">[155]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="30. LORD HADDON">CHAPTER THE THIRTIETH.<br />
-
-<small>LORD HADDON.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>“And you forgave him, Monica, you
-forgave him? The man who had killed
-your husband?”</p>
-
-<p>It was Beatrice who spoke, and she spoke
-with a sort of horror in her tone. Tom
-stood a little apart in the recess of the
-window, a heavy cloud upon his brow.
-Lord Haddon was leaning with averted face
-upon the high carved mantel-shelf.</p>
-
-<p>They had all come over early to Trevlyn
-to hear the fate of the hapless man who
-had died in the night. Beatrice felt an
-unquenchable longing to know if he had
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_156" id="Page_156">[156]</a></span>spoken before he died—if by chance the
-terrible secret had escaped in delirium from
-his lips; and she had insisted on coming
-with her husband. Her brother, who had
-arrived unexpectedly the previous evening,
-had made one of the party. He was
-hungering for another sight of Monica, and
-Trevlyn seemed to draw him like a magnet.</p>
-
-<p>Monica’s face had told a tale of its own
-when she had first appeared; and the
-whispered question on Beatrice’s lips:</p>
-
-<p>“Did he speak, Monica? Did he say
-anything?” elicited a reply that led to
-explanations on both sides, rendering
-further reserve needless; and Monica told
-her tale with the quiet calmness of one
-who has too lately passed through some
-great mental conflict to be easily disturbed
-again.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_157" id="Page_157">[157]</a></span></p>
-<p>But Beatrice, fiery, impetuous Beatrice,
-could not understand this calm. She was
-shaken by a tempest of excitement and
-wrath.</p>
-
-<p>“You forgave him, Monica? Ah! how
-could you? Randolph’s murderer!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I forgave him.”</p>
-
-<p>“You should not! You should not! It
-was not—it could not be right! Monica, I
-cannot understand you. I think you are
-made of stone!”</p>
-
-<p>She said nothing; she smiled. That
-smile was only seen by Haddon. It
-thrilled him to his heart’s core.</p>
-
-<p>“How came you to be with him at all?”
-said Tom, almost sternly. “It was not
-your duty to be there. It was no fit place
-for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think my place is where there is
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_158" id="Page_158">[158]</a></span>sorrow and need and loneliness,” answered
-Monica, very gently. “He needed me—and
-I came to him.”</p>
-
-<p>“He sent for you?”</p>
-
-<p>“I think he did.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you said——”</p>
-
-<p>Monica lifted her hand; she rose to her
-feet, passing her hand across her brow.</p>
-
-<p>“You would not understand, dear.
-There are some things, Beatrice, that you
-are very slow to learn. You know something
-of the mysteries of life, but you do
-not understand anything of those deeper
-mysteries of death. I have forgiven a
-dying man, who prayed forgiveness with
-his latest breath—and you look at me with
-horror.”</p>
-
-<p>Beatrice gazed at Monica, but yet would
-not yield her point.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_159" id="Page_159">[159]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Mercy can be carried too far——” but
-she could not say more, for the look upon
-Monica’s face brought a sudden sense of
-choking that would have made her voice
-falter had she attempted to proceed. Her
-brother’s murmured words, therefore, were
-now distinctly heard.</p>
-
-<p>“Not in God’s sight, perhaps.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica turned to him with a swift gesture
-inexpressibly sweet.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! you understand,” she said simply.
-“I am glad you have come just now,
-Haddon. I shall want help. Will you
-give it me?”</p>
-
-<p>“I will do anything for you, and esteem
-it an honour.”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him steadily.</p>
-
-<p>“Even if it is for one who—for the one
-who lies upstairs now—dead?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_160" id="Page_160">[160]</a></span></p>
-<p>Haddon bent his head.</p>
-
-<p>“Even for him—at your bidding.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you,” she said.</p>
-
-<p>“I will take you home now, Beatrice,”
-said Tom, curtly. “We are not wanted
-here.”</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked questioningly at him, as
-she gave him her hand, to see what this
-abruptness might signify. He returned
-her gaze with equal intensity.</p>
-
-<p>“I believe you are an angel, Monica,”
-he said, lifting her hand for a moment to
-his lips; “but there are moments when
-fallen mortals like ourselves feel the angelic
-presence a little overpowering.”</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Monica, as she had said, wanted the help
-of some man of business, as there was a
-good deal to be done in connection with
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_161" id="Page_161">[161]</a></span>Conrad’s sudden death: a good many
-trying formalities to be gone through, as
-well as much correspondence, and in Lord
-Haddon she found an able and willing
-assistant.</p>
-
-<p>He saw much of Monica in those days.
-He was often at Trevlyn—hardly a day
-passed without his riding or driving across
-on some errand—and she was often at <abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr>
-Maws herself, for Beatrice’s momentary
-flash of anger had been rapidly quenched
-in deep contrition and humility; and both
-she and her husband treated Monica with
-the sort of reverential tenderness that
-seemed to meet her now on all hands.</p>
-
-<p>Lord Haddon watched her day by day,
-wondering if ever he should dare to
-breathe a word of the hopes that filled
-his heart, reading in her calm face and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_162" id="Page_162">[162]</a></span>in the sisterly gentleness and fondness
-with which she treated him, how little
-conscious she was of the purpose that
-possessed his soul. Sometimes he paused
-and shrank from troubling the still waters
-of their sweet, calm friendship, but then
-again the thought of leaving her in her
-loneliness and isolation seemed too sad and
-mournful, if by any devotion and love he
-could lighten the burden of her sorrow,
-and bring back something of the lost
-happiness into her life. Haddon was very
-humble, very self-distrustful; he did not
-expect to accomplish much, but he felt that
-he would gladly lay down his life, if by
-that act he could do anything to comfort
-her. To die for her would, however, be
-purposeless: the next thing was to try
-and live for her.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_163" id="Page_163">[163]</a></span></p>
-<p>And so one day, as they paced the lonely
-shore together, on a chill cloudy winter’s
-afternoon, he put his fate to the touch.</p>
-
-<p>She had noticed his silence—his abstraction:
-he had not been quite himself all
-day. Presently they reached a sheltered
-nook amongst some rocks not far from the
-water’s edge, and she sat down, motioning
-him to do the same. She looked at him
-with gentle, friendly concern.</p>
-
-<p>“Is anything the matter?” she asked.
-“Have you something on your mind?”</p>
-
-<p>He turned his head, looked into her eyes,
-and answered:</p>
-
-<p>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Can I help you?” she continued, in
-the same sweet way. “You help me so
-often, that it is my turn to help you now if
-I can.”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164">[164]</a></span></p>
-<p>He looked with a glance she could not
-altogether understand.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica,” he said, “may I speak to
-you?—may I tell you something? I have
-tried to do so before, and have failed; but
-I ought not to go on longer without speaking.
-Have I your permission to tell you
-what is on my mind?”</p>
-
-<p>He did not often call her by her
-Christian name: only in moments of excitement,
-when his soul was stirred within
-him. The unconscious way in which it
-dropped now from his lips told that he was
-deeply moved. A sort of vague uneasiness
-arose within her, but she looked into his
-troubled, resolute face, and answered:</p>
-
-<p>“Tell me if you wish it, Haddon”—although
-she shrank, without knowing
-why, from the confession she was to hear.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_165" id="Page_165">[165]</a></span></p>
-<p>“Monica,” he said, not looking at her,
-but out over the sea, and speaking with a
-manly resolution and fluency unusual with
-him, the outcome of a very earnest purpose,
-“I am going to speak to you at last, and
-I must ask you beforehand to pardon my
-presumption, of which I am as well aware
-as you can ever be. Monica, I think that
-no woman in the wide world is like you.
-I have thought so ever since I saw you
-first, in your bridal robes, standing beside
-Randolph in that little church over yonder.
-When I saw you then—nay, pardon me if
-I pain you; I should not have recalled
-the memory, and yet I cannot help it—I
-said within myself that you were one to
-be worshipped with the truest devotion of
-a man’s heart; and the more I saw of
-you in later life, the deeper did that
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_166" id="Page_166">[166]</a></span>feeling sink into my soul. He, your husband,
-had been as a brother to me, and to
-feel that I was thus brought near to you,
-admitted to friendship and to confidence,
-was a source of keen pleasure such as I
-can ill describe. You did not know your
-power over me, Monica. I hardly knew it
-myself; but I think I would at any time
-have laid down my life either for him or
-for you. I know I would that fatal night—but
-I must not pain you more. When
-I awoke, Monica, from that long fever, to
-find you watching beside me, to hear that
-he, my friend, was dead, and you left all
-alone in your desolation—Monica, Monica,
-how can I hope to express to you what I
-felt? It is not treachery to his memory—believe
-me, it is not. If I could call him
-back, ah! how gladly would I do it!—at
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_167" id="Page_167">[167]</a></span>the cost of my life if need be—but that
-can never, never be! I know I can never
-fill <em>his</em> place. I know I am utterly unworthy
-of the boon I ask; but if a life-long
-devotion, if a love that will never change
-nor falter, if the ceaseless care of one, who
-is yours wholly and entirely, can ever help
-to fill the blank, can in ever so small a
-degree make up to you for that one irretrievable
-loss, believe me, it will be the
-greatest happiness I can ever know.
-Monica, need I say more? Have I said
-too much? I only ask leave to watch over
-you, to comfort you, to love you; I ask
-nothing for myself—only the right to do
-this. Can you not give it to me? God
-helping me, you shall never repent it if
-you do.”</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_168" id="Page_168">[168]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>A long pause followed this confession—this
-appeal. Monica’s face had expressed
-many fluctuating feelings as he had proceeded
-with his speech. Now it was full
-of a sort of divine compassion and tenderness:
-a look sometimes seen in a pictured
-saint or Madonna drawn by a master
-hand.</p>
-
-<p>“You are so good,” she said, very low;
-“so very, very good; and it grieves me so
-sadly to give you pain.”</p>
-
-<p>He turned his head and looked at her.
-His eyes darkened with sudden sorrow.</p>
-
-<p>“I have spoken too soon,” he said, in
-the same gentle, self-contained way. “I
-have tried to be patient, but seeing you
-lonely and sad makes it so hard. I
-should have waited longer—it is only a
-year now since. Monica, do not think me
-hard or callous to say it, but time is a
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_169" id="Page_169">[169]</a></span>great softener—a great healer. I do not
-mean that you will ever forget; but years
-will go by, and you are still quite young,
-very young to live your life always alone.
-Think of the years that lie before you.
-Must they all be spent alone? Monica, do
-not answer me yet; but if in time to come—if
-you want a friend, a helper—let me—can
-you think of me? Ah! how can I
-say it? Can I ever be more to you than
-I am now? You understand: you have
-only to call me, to command me—I will
-come.”</p>
-
-<p>He spoke with some agitation now, but
-it was quickly subdued. It seemed as if
-he would have left her, but she laid her
-hand upon his arm and detained him.</p>
-
-<p>“Haddon,” she said, softly, “I am lonely
-and I do want a friend. You have been a
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_170" id="Page_170">[170]</a></span>friend to me always; I trust and love you
-as a brother. May I not do so always?
-Can you not be content with that? Must
-it end with us, that love and trust? I
-should miss it sorely if it were withdrawn.”</p>
-
-<p>Her sweet, pleading face was turned
-towards him. There was a sort of struggle
-in the young man’s mind: then he answered
-quietly:</p>
-
-<p>“It shall be so, if you wish it,” he said.
-“My chiefest wish is for your happiness.
-But——”</p>
-
-<p>She checked him by a look.</p>
-
-<p>“Haddon, I am Randolph’s wife!”</p>
-
-<p>His eyes gave the reply his tongue would
-never have uttered. She answered as if he
-had spoken.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, he is dead. Did you think that
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_171" id="Page_171">[171]</a></span>made any difference? Ah, you do not
-understand. When I gave myself to Randolph,
-I gave myself for ever—not for a
-time only but for always. He is my
-husband. I am his wife. Nothing can
-change that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not even death?”</p>
-
-<p>The words were a mere whisper; yet
-she heard them. It seemed as if a sudden
-ray of light shone upon the face she turned
-towards him. He was awed; he watched
-her in mute silence.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! no,” she said, very softly, “not
-death—death least of all. Death can only
-divide us, it cannot touch our love. Ah!
-you do not know, you do not understand.
-How can I make it clear to you? Love is
-like nothing else in the world—it is us, our
-very selves. <em>Somewhere</em>——” Monica
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_172" id="Page_172">[172]</a></span>clasped her hands together, and stretched
-them out before her towards the eternal
-ocean, with a gesture more eloquent than
-any words, whilst the light upon her face
-deepened in intensity every moment as her
-eyes fixed themselves upon the far horizon.
-“<em>Somewhere</em> he is waiting for me to come
-to him—he, my husband, my love; and
-though he may not come back to me, I
-shall go to him in God’s good time, and
-when I join him in the great, eternal home,
-I must go to him as he left me—with
-nothing between us and our love; and
-there will be no parting there, no more
-death, and no more sea.”</p>
-
-<p>Her words died away in silence; but her
-parted lips, her shining eyes, the light upon
-her face, spoke an eloquent language of
-their own. Her companion sat and looked
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_173" id="Page_173">[173]</a></span>at her in mute, breathless silence, not unmixed
-with awe.</p>
-
-<p>He knew his cause was lost. He knew
-she could never, never be his; yet, strange
-to say, he was not saddened or cast down,
-for by this revelation of her innermost
-heart he felt himself uplifted and ennobled.
-His idol was not shattered. Monica was,
-as ever, enshrined in his heart—the one
-ideal woman to be worshipped, reverenced,
-adored. Even in this supreme hour of his
-life, when the airy fabric of his dreams was
-crumbling into dust about him, he had a
-perception that perhaps even thus it was
-best. He never could be worthy of
-her, and now he might still call himself
-her friend; had she not said so herself?</p>
-
-<p>There was a long, long silence between
-them. Then he moved, kneeling on one
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174">[174]</a></span>knee before her, and taking her hand in
-his.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica,” he said, “I understand now.
-I shall never trouble you again. You have
-judged well, very well; it is like you, and
-that is enough. But before I go may I
-crave one boon?”</p>
-
-<p>“And that is——?”</p>
-
-<p>“That you forget all that I have said,
-all the wild, foolish words that I have
-spoken; and let me keep my old place—as
-your brother and friend.”</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him with her own gentle
-smile.</p>
-
-<p>“I wish for nothing better,” she answered.
-“I cannot afford to lose my
-friend.”</p>
-
-<p>He pressed her hand for one moment to
-his lips, and was gone without another word.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_175" id="Page_175">[175]</a></span></p>
-<p>Tears slowly welled up in Monica’s eyes
-as she rose at last, and stood looking out over
-the vast waste of heaving grey sea—sad,
-colourless, troubled.</p>
-
-<p>“Like my life,” she said softly to herself.
-And yet she had just put away a
-love that might at least have cast a glow
-upon it, and gilded its dim edges.</p>
-
-<p>She stretched out her hand with a sort
-of mute gesture of entreaty.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! Randolph, husband, come back
-to me! I am so lonely, so desolate!”</p>
-
-<p>Even as she spoke, the setting sun, as it
-touched the horizon, broke through the
-bank of cloud which had veiled it all
-the day, and flooded the sea as with
-liquid gold—that cold grey sea that she
-had just been likening to her own future
-life.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_176" id="Page_176">[176]</a></span></p>
-<p>She could not help an involuntary start.</p>
-
-<p>“Is it an omen?” she asked; and
-despite the heavy load at her heart, she
-went home somewhat comforted.</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 400px;">
-<img src="images/i_176.jpg" width="400" height="53" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_177" id="Page_177">[177]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="31. CHRISTMAS">CHAPTER THE THIRTY-FIRST.<br />
-
-<small>CHRISTMAS.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>It was Christmas Eve; the light was just
-beginning to wane, and Monica’s work was
-done at last. She was free now until the
-arrival of her guests—the Pendrills and
-Lord Haddon—should give her new occupation
-in hospitable care for them.</p>
-
-<p>Monica had been too busy for thoughts
-of self to intrude often upon her during
-these past days. She wished to be busy;
-she tried to occupy herself from morning
-to night, for she found that the aching
-hunger of her heart was more eased by
-loving deeds of mercy and kindness than
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_178" id="Page_178">[178]</a></span>in any other way—self more fully lost in
-ceaseless care for others. But when all
-was done, every single thing disposed of,
-nothing more left to think of or to accomplish;
-then the inevitable reaction set in,
-and with a heart aching to pain, almost to
-despair, Monica entered the music-room,
-and sat down to her organ.</p>
-
-<p>She played with a sort of passionate
-appeal that was infinitely pathetic, had any
-one been there to hear; she threw all the
-yearning sadness of her soul into her
-organ, and it seemed to answer her back
-with a promise of strong sympathy and
-consolation. Insensibly she was soothed
-by the sweet sounds she evoked. She fell
-into a dreamy mood, playing softly in a
-minor key, so softly that through the door
-that stood ajar, she became aware of a
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_179" id="Page_179">[179]</a></span>slight subdued tumult in the hall without,
-to which she gave but a dreamy attention
-at first.</p>
-
-<p>The bell had pealed sharply, steps had
-crossed the hall, the door had been opened,
-and then had followed the tumultuous
-sounds expressive of astonishment that
-roused Monica from her dreamy reverie.
-She supposed the party from <abbr title="Saint">St.</abbr> Maws had
-arrived somewhat before the expected
-time, and rose, and had made a few steps
-forward when she suddenly stopped short
-and stood motionless—spell-bound—what
-was it she had heard?—only the sound of
-a voice—a man’s voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Where is your mistress?”</p>
-
-<p>The words were uttered in a clear,
-deep, ringing tone, that seemed to her to
-waken every echo in the castle into wild
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_180" id="Page_180">[180]</a></span>surging life. The very air throbbed and
-palpitated around her—her temples seemed
-as if they would burst. What was the
-meaning of that sound—that wild tumult
-of voices? Why did she stand as if carved
-in stone, growing white to the very lips,
-whilst thrill upon thrill ran through her
-frame, and her heart beat to suffocation?
-What did it all portend? Whose was the
-voice she had just heard—that voice from
-the dead? <em>Who</em> was it that stood in the
-hall without?</p>
-
-<p>The door was flung open. A tall, dark
-figure stood in the dim light.</p>
-
-<p>“Monica!”</p>
-
-<p>Monica neither spoke nor moved. The
-cry of awe and of rapture that rose from her
-heart could not find voice in which to utter
-itself—but what matter? She was in her
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_181" id="Page_181">[181]</a></span>husband’s arms. Her head lay upon his
-breast. His lips were pressed to her cold
-face in the kisses she had never thought
-to feel again. Randolph had come back.
-She could not speak. She had no will to
-try and frame a single word. He held her
-in his arms; he strained her ever closer and
-closer. She felt the tumultuous beating of
-his heart as she lay in his arms, powerless
-to move or think. She heard his murmured
-words, broken and hoarse with the
-passionate feeling of that supreme moment.</p>
-
-<p>“My wife! Monica! My wife!”</p>
-
-<p>And then for a time she knew no more.
-Sight and hearing alike failed her; it
-seemed as if a slumber from heaven itself
-sealed her eyes and stole away her senses.</p>
-
-<p>When she came to herself she was on a
-sofa in her own room, and Randolph was
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_182" id="Page_182">[182]</a></span>kneeling beside her. She did not start to
-see him there. For a moment it seemed as
-if he had never left her. She smiled her
-own sweet smile.</p>
-
-<p>“Randolph! Have I been asleep—dreaming?”</p>
-
-<p>He took her hands in his, and bent to
-kiss her lips.</p>
-
-<p>“It has been a long dream, my Monica,
-and a dark one; but it is over at last.
-My darling, my darling! God grant I
-may not be dreaming now!”</p>
-
-<p>She smiled like a tired child. She had a
-perception that something overpoweringly
-strange and sudden had happened, but she
-did not want to rouse herself just yet to
-think what it must all mean.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_183" id="Page_183">[183]</a></span></p>
-
-<p>Two hours later, in the great drawing-room
-ablaze with light, Monica and
-Randolph stood together to welcome their
-guests. She had laid aside her mournful
-widow’s garb, and was arrayed in her
-shimmering bridal robes. Ah, how lovely
-she was in her husband’s eyes as she stood
-beside him now! Perhaps never in all her
-life had she looked more exquisitely fair.
-Happiness had lighted her beautiful eyes,
-and had brought the rose back to her pale
-cheeks: she was glorified—transfigured—a
-vision of radiant beauty.</p>
-
-<p>He had changed but slightly during his
-mysterious year of absence. There were a
-few lines upon his face that had not been
-there of old: he looked like a man who
-had been through some ordeal, whether
-mental or physical it would be less easy to
-tell; but the same joy and rapture that
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_184" id="Page_184">[184]</a></span>emanated, as it were, from Monica was
-reflected in his face likewise, and only a
-keen eye could read to-night the traces of
-pain or of sorrow in that strong, proud,
-manly countenance.</p>
-
-<p>Monica looked at him suddenly, the flush
-deepening in her cheeks.</p>
-
-<p>“Hush! They are coming!” she said,
-and waited breathlessly.</p>
-
-<p>The door opened, admitting Mrs. Pendrill,
-Beatrice, and Tom. There was a pause—a
-brief, intense silence, during which the fall
-of a pin might have been heard, and then,
-with one long, low cry, half-sobbing, half-laughing,
-Beatrice rushed across the room,
-and flung herself upon Randolph.</p>
-
-<p>Monica went straight up to Mrs. Pendrill,
-and put her arms about her neck.</p>
-
-<p>“Aunt Elizabeth, he has come home,”
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_185" id="Page_185">[185]</a></span>she said, in a voice that shook a little with
-the tumult of her happiness. “He has just
-come home—this very day—Randolph—my
-husband. Help me to believe it. You
-must help me to bear this—as you helped
-me to bear the other.”</p>
-
-<p>Tom had by this time grasped Randolph
-by the hand; but neither trusted his own
-voice. They were glad that Beatrice
-covered their silence by her incoherent
-exclamations of rapture, and by the flow of
-questions no one attempted to answer.</p>
-
-<p>It was all too like a dream for anyone to
-recollect very clearly what happened.
-Raymond and Haddon came in almost
-at once, new greetings had to be gone
-through. How the dinner passed off that
-night no one afterwards remembered.
-There was a deep sense of thankfulness and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_186" id="Page_186">[186]</a></span>joy in every heart; yet of words there
-were few. But when gathered round the
-fire later on in the evening, when they had
-grown used to the presence amongst them of
-one whom they had mourned as dead for
-more than a year, Randolph was called
-upon to tell his tale, which was listened to
-in breathless silence.</p>
-
-<p>“I will tell you all I can about it; but
-there are points yet where my memory
-fails me, where I have but little idea what
-happened. I have a dim recollection of
-the night of the wreck, and of leaving
-the boat; but I must have received a
-heavy blow on the head, the doctors tell
-me, and I suppose I sank, and the men
-could not find me. But I was entangled, it
-seems, in the rigging of a floating spar,
-and must have been carried thus many
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_187" id="Page_187">[187]</a></span>miles; for I was picked up by an ocean
-steamer bound for Australia, which had
-been driven somewhat out of its course by
-the gale. It was not supposed that I could
-live after so many hours’ exposure. I was
-quite unconscious, and remained so for a
-very long time. There was nothing upon
-me by which I could be identified, and of
-course I could give no account of myself.
-On board the boat were a kind-hearted
-wealthy Australian couple, who had lately
-lost an only son, to whom they fancied I
-bore some slight resemblance. Perhaps for
-this cause, perhaps from true kindness of
-heart, they at once took me under their
-special care and protection. There was
-plenty of space on board the vessel, and
-they looked after me as if I had indeed
-been their son. They would not hear of
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_188" id="Page_188">[188]</a></span>my being left behind in hospital on the
-way out. They took me under their protection
-until I should be able to give an
-account of myself.</p>
-
-<p>“Of course I knew nothing about all
-this. I was lying dangerously ill of brain
-fever all the while, not knowing where I
-was, or what was happening. When we
-reached Melbourne at last, and I was conveyed
-to their luxurious house on the outskirts
-of the town, I was still in the same
-state, relapse following relapse, every time
-till I gained a little ground, till for months
-my life was despaired of. I was either
-raving in delirium, or lying in a sort of unconscious
-stupor, and without all the skill
-and care lavished upon me, I suppose I
-must have died. But I did not die. Gradually,
-very gradually, the fever abated,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_189" id="Page_189">[189]</a></span>and I began to come to myself: that is to
-say, I began to know the faces around me
-and to recognise my surroundings; but for
-myself, I knew no more who I was, nor
-whence I had come, than the infant just
-born into the world. My memory had
-gone, had been wiped clean away; I
-had no idea of my own identity, no
-recollection of the past. The very effort
-to remember brought on such pain and
-distress that I was imperatively commanded
-to relinquish the attempt. Gradually
-some things came back to my mind:
-I could read, write, understand the foreign
-tongues I had mastered, and the sciences I
-had studied in past days. As my health
-slowly improved this kind of knowledge
-came back spontaneously and without
-effort; but my personal history was as a
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_190" id="Page_190">[190]</a></span>blank wall, against which I flung myself in
-vain. It would yield to no efforts of mine.
-Distressed and confused, I was obliged to
-give up, and wait with what patience I
-might for the realisation of the hope held
-out cheerfully by the clever doctor who
-attended me. He maintained that if I
-would but have patience, some strong
-association of ideas would some day bring
-all back in a flash, and meantime all I had
-to do was to get strong and well, so as to
-be ready for action when that day should
-come. I was restless sometimes, but less
-so than one would fancy, for the blank was
-too complete to be distressing. My good
-friends and protectors were unspeakably
-kind and good, and did everything in
-their power to ensure my mental and
-physical well-being; I recovered my
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_191" id="Page_191">[191]</a></span>health rapidly, soon my memory was to
-come back too.”</p>
-
-<p>Randolph passed his hand across his
-eyes. No one spoke, every eye was fixed
-upon his face.</p>
-
-<p>“It did so very strangely: it was one
-hot afternoon in November—our summer,
-you know”—he named the date and the
-hour, and Monica heard it with a sudden
-thrill. Allowing for the discrepancy of
-time, it was during the moments that she
-watched by Conrad Fitzgerald’s dying bed
-that her husband’s memory was given back
-to him.</p>
-
-<p>“I was looking over some old English
-newspapers, idly, purposelessly, when I
-came upon a detailed account of the wreck,
-and of my own supposed death. As I read—I
-cannot describe what it was like—my
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_192" id="Page_192">[192]</a></span>memory came back to me in a great
-flood, like overwhelming waves. It seemed,
-Monica, as if my spirit were carried on
-wings to Trevlyn, as if I were hovering over
-you in some mysterious way impossible to
-describe. I called your name aloud. I knew
-that I was close to you, at Trevlyn—it is
-useless to attempt to define what I felt.
-When I came to myself they told me I had
-fainted; but that was not so. I had been
-on a journey, that is all, and had returned.
-My memory was restored from that hour,
-clearly and distinctly; the doctor thought
-there might be lapses, that I might never
-be the same man again as I had been once;
-but I have felt no ill effects since. Little
-more remains to be told. My first instinct
-was to telegraph; but not knowing what
-had happened in my absence, knowing I
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193">[193]</a></span>must long have been given up for lost, I
-was afraid to do so, lest hopeless confusion
-should result. Instead, I took the first
-home-bound steamer, and reached London
-late last night. I found out at the house
-there where Monica was, and came on here
-by the first train. I have come back home
-to spend my Christmas with you.”</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter" style="width: 250px;">
-<img src="images/i_193.jpg" width="250" height="93" alt="decoration" />
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="chapter"><p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_194" id="Page_194">[194]</a></span></p>
-
-
-
-<h2 title="32. THE LAST">CHAPTER THE THIRTY-SECOND.<br />
-
-<small>THE LAST.</small></h2></div>
-
-
-<p>“Monica, I could not tell you last night—it
-was all so sudden, so wonderful—but I
-think you know, without any words of
-mine, how glad, how thankful, I am.”</p>
-
-<p>It was Haddon who spoke, spoke with a
-glad, frank, joyous sincerity, that beamed
-in his eye and sounded in every tone of his
-voice. Monica gave him both her hands,
-looking up into his face with her sweetest
-smile.</p>
-
-<p>“I know, Haddon; I know. I am sure of
-it. Is he not almost a brother to you?—and
-are you not the best of brothers to me?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_195" id="Page_195">[195]</a></span></p>
-<p>“At least I will try to be,” he answered
-gladly. “I cannot tell you how happy this
-has made me.”</p>
-
-<p>She was glad, too: glad to see him so
-happy, so heart-whole. He had loved her
-with the loyal love of a devoted chivalrous
-knight, had loved her for her sorrow and
-her loneliness; but she was comforted
-now, and he was able to rejoice with her.
-It was all very good—just as she would
-have it.</p>
-
-<p>Ah! what a day of joy and thanksgiving
-it was! How Monica’s heart beat as she knelt
-by her husband’s side that glad Christmas
-morning in the little cliff church, when, in
-the pause just before the General Thanksgiving,
-the grey-headed clergyman, with a
-little quiver in his voice, announced that
-Randolph Trevlyn desired to return thanks
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_196" id="Page_196">[196]</a></span>to Almighty God for preservation from great
-perils, and for restoration to his home.</p>
-
-<p>Her voice faltered in the familiar words,
-and many suppressed sobs were heard in
-the little building, but they were sobs of
-joy and gratitude, and tears of healing and
-of happiness stole down Monica’s cheeks.
-It was like some beautiful dream, and yet
-too sweet not to be true.</p>
-
-<p>In the afternoon Monica and Randolph
-went out alone together; first into the
-whispering pine woods, and then out upon
-the breezy cliff, hard beneath their feet with
-the winter’s frost.</p>
-
-<p>He let her lead him whither she would.
-He had no thought to spare for aught beside
-herself. They were together once again.
-What more could they need?</p>
-
-<p>But Monica had an object in view; and
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_197" id="Page_197">[197]</a></span>as they walked, engrossed in each other, in
-sweet communion of soul and interchange
-of thought, or the almost sweeter silence of
-perfect peace and tranquillity, she led him
-once more towards the little cliff church;
-though only when she was unlatching the
-gate to enter the quiet grave-yard did he
-arouse to the sense of their surroundings.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, Monica,” he said, “why have
-you brought me here? We are too late
-for service.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know,” she answered; “but come. I
-want to show you something.”</p>
-
-<p>Her face wore an expression he did not
-understand. He followed her in silence to
-a secluded corner, where, beneath a dark
-yew tree, stood a green mound, at the head
-of which a wooden cross had been temporarily
-erected.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_198" id="Page_198">[198]</a></span></p>
-<p>Randolph read the letters it bore:</p>
-
-<p>“C. F.,” followed by a date, and beneath,
-the simple, familiar words—</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
- <div class="poetry">
- <div class="stanza">
- <div class="verse">“<i lang="la" xml:lang="la">Requiescat in pace.</i>”</div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p>Strange, perhaps, that Monica should
-have cared for this lonely grave, in which
-was laid to rest one who had, as she
-believed, robbed her life of all its brightness
-and joy. Strange that she, in the
-absence of friend or kinsman, should
-have charged herself with keeping it, and
-of erecting there some monument to mark
-who lay there low. Strange—yet so it was.</p>
-
-<p>Her husband looked at her questioningly.</p>
-
-<p>“Conrad’s grave—yes,” she answered
-quietly. “Randolph, look at the date.”</p>
-
-<p>He did so, and started a little.</p>
-
-<p>“He died at dawn that day, Randolph.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199">[199]</a></span>You know what was happening then at the
-other side of the world?”</p>
-
-<p>There was a strange look of awe upon
-her face as she spoke, which was reflected
-in his also. She came and stood close
-beside him.</p>
-
-<p>“Randolph, do you know that he was
-there—that night?—that he tried to kill
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>He had taken off his hat as he stood
-beside the grave, with the instinctive reverence
-for the dead—even though it be a
-dead foe—characteristic of a noble mind.
-Now he passed his hand across his brow
-and through his thick dark hair.</p>
-
-<p>“I thought that was a delusion of fever—a
-sort of hideous vision founded on no
-reality. Monica, was it so?”</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_200" id="Page_200">[200]</a></span></p>
-<p>“It was.”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you know?”</p>
-
-<p>“I had it from his own lips.”</p>
-
-<p>He gazed at her without speaking;
-something in her face awed and silenced him.</p>
-
-<p>“Randolph, listen,” she said. “I must
-tell you all. Six weeks ago, the evening
-before <em>that</em> day, he was brought, shattered
-and dying, to Trevlyn; he had fallen from
-the cliffs, no skill could serve to prolong
-his life. I knew nothing then—he was
-profoundly unconscious, yet as the night
-wore away some strange intuition came
-upon me that he wanted me, that he was
-beseeching me to come to him. I went—he
-was still unconscious. I sent Wilberforce
-away and watched by him myself.
-Randolph, at dawn he awoke to consciousness—he
-told me all his awful tale—he
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201">[201]</a></span>said he had murdered you—I believed it
-was true. He was dying—dying in darkness
-and in dread, and he prayed for my
-forgiveness as if his salvation hung upon
-it. Randolph, Randolph, how can I tell
-you?—I cannot, no I cannot—no one could
-understand,” for a moment she pressed her
-hand upon her eyes, looking up again in a
-few seconds with a calm glance that was
-like a smile. “He was dying, Randolph,
-and I forgave him—I forgave him freely
-and fully—and he died in peace. Stop,
-that is not all. Randolph, as I knelt beside
-his bed, praying for the sin-stained spirit
-then taking its flight, I felt that you were
-with me; I had never before felt the strange
-overshadowing presence that I did then—you
-were there, your own self. I heard
-your voice far away, yet absolutely clear,
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_202" id="Page_202">[202]</a></span>like a call from some distant, snow-clad
-mountain-top, infinitely far—‘Monica!
-Monica! My wife!’ I think Conrad
-heard it too, for he died with a smile on
-his lips. Randolph, I am sure that you
-were with me in that strange, awful hour.
-I knew it then—I know it better now.
-Randolph, I think that love is stronger
-than all else—time, space, death itself.
-Nothing touched our love. I think it is
-like eternity.”</p>
-
-<p>A deep look of awe had stamped itself
-upon Randolph’s face. He put his arm
-round Monica, and for a very long while
-they stood thus, neither attempting to
-speak or to move.</p>
-
-<p>At last he woke from his reverie, and
-looked down at her with a strange light
-shining in his eyes.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_203" id="Page_203">[203]</a></span></p>
-<p>“And you forgave him, Monica?”</p>
-
-<p>She looked up and met his gaze unfalteringly.</p>
-
-<p>“I forgave him, Randolph; was I
-wrong?”</p>
-
-<p>He stooped and kissed her.</p>
-
-<p>“My wife, I thank God that you did
-forgive him. His life was full of sin and
-sorrow—but at least its end was peace.
-May God pardon him as you did—as I do.”</p>
-
-<p>There was a strange sweet smile in her
-eyes as she lifted them to his.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Randolph!” she said softly, “I
-knew you would understand. Oh, my
-husband, my husband!”</p>
-
-<p>He held her in his arms, and she looked
-up at him with a sweet, tender smile.
-Then her eyes wandered dreamily out over
-the wide sea beneath them.</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_204" id="Page_204">[204]</a></span></p>
-<p>“There is nothing sad there now,
-Randolph. It will never separate us
-again.”</p>
-
-<p>He looked down at her with a world of
-love in his eyes; yet as they turned away
-his glance rested for one moment upon the
-lonely grave he had been brought to see,
-and lifting his hat once more, he murmured
-beneath his breath—“Requiescat in
-pace.”</p>
-
-<p>Then drawing his wife’s hand within his
-arm, he led her homewards to Trevlyn,
-whilst the sun set in a blaze of golden
-glory over the boundless shining sea.</p>
-
-
-<p class="center big">THE END.</p>
-
-<div class="transnote">
-<h2>Transcriber's Notes</h2>
-<p>Minor punctuation and printer errors repaired.</p>
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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