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diff --git a/old/54495-0.txt b/old/54495-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index c44804e..0000000 --- a/old/54495-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4428 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Teach Manners in the School-room, by -Julia M. Dewey - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: How to Teach Manners in the School-room - -Author: Julia M. Dewey - -Release Date: April 7, 2017 [EBook #54495] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HOW--TEACH MANNERS--SCHOOL-ROOM *** - - - - -Produced by MFR, John Campbell and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE - - Italic text is denoted by _underscores_. - - Bold text is denoted by =equal signs=. - - Some minor changes are noted at the end of the book. - - - - - HOW TO TEACH MANNERS - IN THE SCHOOL-ROOM. - - - BY MRS. JULIA M. DEWEY, - - METHOD AND CRITIC TEACHER IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS OF RUTLAND, VT.; - FORMERLY SUPT. OF SCHOOLS, HOOSIC FALLS, N. Y. - - - “Who misses or who wins the prize? - Go, lose or conquer, as you can; - But if you fail, or if you rise, - Be each, pray God, a gentleman.” - - --_Epilogue to Dr. Birch and his Pupils._ - - -[Illustration: (Publisher’s colophon)] - - THE A. S. BARNES COMPANY - NEW YORK AND CHICAGO - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1888 - E. L. KELLOGG & CO. - NEW YORK - - - - -INTRODUCTION. - - -Importance of the definite teaching of manners. Children are close -imitators; they will learn some kind of manners, and one who -teaches positively or emphatically (or contrariwise) may often see -a miniature of himself in his young pupil. With this truth in mind -one can hardly attach too much importance to punctilious politeness -on the teacher’s part in his intercourse with pupils. But however -polite a teacher may be, the informal or unconscious teaching of -manners is not enough. The school-room does not afford opportunity -to exemplify all the necessary practices in good manners, and -there is no other way but to teach the various requirements of an -accepted code with reference to actual examples that may present -themselves at any time in life. - -It is to be remembered that many children have no opportunity -of obtaining a knowledge of good manners, either by practice or -precept, except as it is afforded by the schools. And as habits -formed in childhood are the most enduring, a lack of early training -in good manners will show itself as long as life lasts. Many other -reasons weigh in favor of the definite teaching of manners, one of -which is, if courtesy is demanded of pupils. - -The underlying principles of courtesy should be inculcated, that -children may know it is more than an empty show. - -Children need to learn the definite language courtesy employs. This -to many children is a new language, and can only be accomplished by -definite teaching. Beside, if manners are considered of sufficient -importance to be counted a regular part of the school, they will -attract much more importance. Accompanying this by observance on -the part of teacher, the pupil acquires a valuable knowledge. - -Good manners ever prove an invaluable aid in doing away with -many of the unpleasantnesses of school-life. Courtesy of manner -under all circumstances means great self-control, and a lack of -self-control in teacher or pupil is the origin of most misdemeanors -in school. Aside from the benefits to be derived in the -school-room, gentle manners help one on in the world wonderfully. -They are more powerful in many cases than their other knowledge. -“All doors fly open to the one who possesses them.” - -“Manners are the shadows of great virtues.”--_Whately._ “High -thoughts seated in a heart of courtesy.”--_Sir Philip Sidney._ -Mr. Calvert says: “A gentleman is never unduly familiar; takes -no liberties; is chary of questions; is neither artificial nor -affected; is as little obtrusive upon the mind or feelings of -others as on their persons; bears himself tenderly toward the weak -and unprotected; is not arrogant; cannot be supercilious; can be -self-denying without struggle; is not vain of his advantages; -habitually subordinates his lower to his higher self; is, in his -best condition, electric with truth, buoyant with veracity.” - -_In a right conception of good breeding the moral element -predominates._ With this idea in view, no one should attempt to -instruct in good manners who has not the ability to instil into -the minds of children its _fundamental principles_. True courtesy -implies strict honor, self-possession, forbearance, generous and -refined feeling, all culminating in a polished deportment. - -When teachers consider manners in this high sense, and teach them -accordingly, they give their pupils that which will bring them -much more happiness in life than any amount of knowledge teaching -without it. - - -AIM OF THIS WORK. - -1. To furnish material for lessons in manners suitable to be taught -in the schools, and adapted to different grades of pupils. - -2. To furnish illustrative lessons showing the main lines of -thought to be pursued, the length of the lesson, and the simplicity -of method to be employed. - -3. To impress both teachers and pupils with a need of the knowledge -of good manners. - - - - -“A _gentleman_ can have no better watchword than that sung at -Bethlehem: ‘Peace on earth, good will to men.’ - - “Come wealth or want, come good or ill. - Let old and young accept their part, - And bow before the awful will, - And bear it with an honest heart. - - “Who misses or who wins the prize, - Go, lose or conquer as you can; - But if you fall, or if you rise, - Be each, pray God, a gentleman. - - “A gentleman, or old or young! - (Bear kindly with my humble lay.) - The sacred chorus first was sung - Upon the first of Christmas days. - - “The shepherds heard it overhead; - The Joyful angels raised it then: - Glory to God on high, it said, - And peace on earth to gentle--men.” - - --_Epilogue to Dr. Birch and his Young Friends._ - - T. T. MUNGER in “On the Threshold.” - - - - -CONTENTS. - - - PAGE - - INTRODUCTION, 3 - - Importance of the definite teaching of manners, 3 - - The underlying principles of good manners, 3 - - Aim of the work, 5 - - - _CHAPTER I._ - - General directions for teaching manners, 13 - - Special directions to teachers, 15 - - Practical training in manners 18 - - - _CHAPTER II._ - - LESSONS ON MANNERS. FOR THE YOUNGEST PUPILS. - - Lesson 1. Awakening an interest in manners in general, 21 - - 2. Kindness an element of politeness, 22 - - 3. Seeking the happiness of others an element of good - manners, 23 - - - _CHAPTER III._ - - LESSONS ON MANNERS. SECOND TWO YEARS. - - Lesson 4. Kindness and unselfishness two underlying principles - of good manners, 25 - - 5. To follow the example of the best people a reason - for cultivating good manners, 26 - - 6. Gaining the esteem of others a reason for cultivating - good manners, 28 - - - _CHAPTER IV._ - - MANNERS IN SCHOOL. FIRST TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 7. The necessity of good manners in school, 29 - - 8. Regularity of attendance at school is a mark of - good manners, 30 - - 9. Punctuality of attendance at school is a sign of - good manners, 31 - - 10. Cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school, 33 - - 11. Care in keeping the school-room clean is a sign of - good manners, 34 - - _Subjects for Additional Lessons._ - - 1. Care of school-furniture, 35 - - 2. Care of halls, piazzas, walls, 35 - - 3. Care of school-grounds, 35 - - 4. Care of books, 35 - - 5. Economy in using what is furnished by the school, 35 - - 6. Care in using and returning borrowed articles, 35 - - 7. Quiet conduct in the school-room at all times, 35 - - Lesson 12. How pupils should conduct themselves toward - their teachers, 35 - - _Subjects for Additional Lessons._ - - 1. Rendering assistance to teachers, 36 - - 2. Care in not interrupting a teacher, 36 - - 3. Kind treatment of school-mates, 36 - - 4. Respectful treatment of the janitor, 36 - - 5. Respectful treatment of visitors, 36 - - 6. Respectful treatment of those who address the school, 36 - - - _CHAPTER V._ - - MANNERS IN SCHOOL. SECOND TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 13. The necessity of good manners in school, 37 - - 14. Regularity of attendance at school is a sign of - good manners, 38 - - 15. Punctuality of attendance at school is the sign of - good manners, 40 - - 16. Cleanliness is one sign of good manners, 41 - - 17. Care for school-belongings is a sign of good manners, 42 - - _Subjects for Additional Lessons._ - - 1. Care of books, 43 - - 2. Economy in using what is furnished by the school, 43 - - 3. Care in using and returning borrowed articles, 43 - - 4. Quiet conduct in the school-room at all times, 43 - - Lesson 18. How pupils should conduct themselves toward - their teacher, 43 - - - _CHAPTER VI._ - - MANNERS AT HOME. FIRST TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 19. Awakening an interest in home manners, 45 - - 20. The attention due to home friends, 46 - - “Keys” suggested for additional lessons, 47 - - - _CHAPTER VII._ - - MANNERS AT HOME. SECOND TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 21. The polite attentions due to home friends, 48 - - _Subjects for additional lessons._ - - 1. Special politeness to very old people in the family, 49 - - 2. Polite treatment of visitors, 49 - - 3. Polite treatment of servants, 49 - - Reminders, 49 - - - _CHAPTER VIII._ - - MANNERS IN PUBLIC. FIRST TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 22. The necessity of good manners in the street, 51 - - 23. Undue curiosity shown in the street is impolite, 52 - - - _CHAPTER IX._ - - MANNERS IN PUBLIC. SECOND TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lesson._ - - Lesson 24. The necessity of good manners in the street, 54 - - _Subjects for Additional Lessons for Both Grades._ - - 1. Polite attention toward elderly people on the street, 55 - - 2. Polite attention towards strangers who make inquiries, 55 - - 3. Church manners, 55 - - 4. Manners at places of entertainment, 55 - - - _CHAPTER X._ - - TABLE MANNERS. FIRST TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 25. The necessity of good table manners, 56 - - 26. Punctuality at the table is desirable, 57 - - 27. Polite attention is specially due the lady of the - house, 58 - - 28. Selfishness at the table is a sign of bad manners, 59 - - 29. Some forms of polite expressions used at table, 60 - - - _CHAPTER XI._ - - TABLE MANNERS. SECOND TWO YEARS. - - _Illustrative Lessons._ - - Lesson 30. The necessity of good table manners, 61 - - 31. The deference due the lady of the house at table, 62 - - 32. Some polite usages at table, 63 - - _Subjects for Additional Lessons for Both Grades._ - - 1. Use of fork and spoon, with practical illustrations, 63 - - 2. Impoliteness of rapid eating, 63 - - - _CHAPTER XII._ - - LESSON ON MANNERS. FOR ADVANCED PUPILS. - - Lesson 1. To suggest the underlying principles of good manners, 64 - - - _CHAPTER XIII._ - - MANNERS IN SCHOOL. - - Lesson 2. The necessity of good manners in school, 66 - - 3. Regularity and punctuality of attendance are signs - of good manners, 67 - - 4. Cleanliness is one sign of good manners in school, 67 - - 5. Care for school-belongings is a sign of good manners, 68 - - 6. How pupils should conduct themselves toward their - teacher, 69 - - Subjects for additional lessons, 71 - - Reminders, 71 - - - _CHAPTER XIV._ - - PERSONAL HABITS. - - Lesson 7. The necessity of attention to personal habits, 73 - - Suggestions for instruction relating to personal habits, 74 - - - _CHAPTER XV._ - - MANNERS IN PUBLIC. - - Lesson 8. Some particulars of street manners, 76 - - Suggestions for further instructions, 77 - - Reminders, 78 - - - _CHAPTER XVI._ - - TABLE MANNERS. - - Lesson 9. The importance of good table manners, 81 - - Subjects for additional lessons, 82 - - Reminders, 82 - - - _CHAPTER XVII._ - - MANNERS IN SOCIETY. - - Suggestions for lessons, 85 - - Reminders, 87 - - - _CHAPTER XVIII._ - - MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. - - Miscellaneous items, 90 - - Suggestive stories, fables, anecdotes, and poems, 91 - - 1. Little Jack. - 2. The Boy and the Sparrows. - 3. The Unhappy Boy. - 4. Which was the Gentleman? - 5. The Elder Brother. - 6. The Gnat and the Bull. - 7. A Real Lady. - 8. Cautions. - 9. Letter of Recommendation. - 10. A Gentlemanly Lad. - 11. A Series of Don’ts. - 12. Family Intercourse. - 13. The Drum and the Vase of Sweet Herbs. - 14. Love. - 15. Treatment of the Aged. - 16. Civility to Strangers. - 17. A Good rule. - 18. Character. - 19. Honor. - 20. Consideration for Others. - 21. Truthfulness. - 22. Delicacy. - - MEMORY GEMS, 102 - - - - -HOW TO TEACH MANNERS IN THE SCHOOL-ROOM. - - - - -Chapter I. - -_GENERAL DIRECTIONS FOR TEACHING MANNERS._ - - -=1.= In teaching manners to young children there is no better -example to be followed than that of a careful mother, who takes -advantage of incidents of every-day life to impress a truth upon -the mind of her child. By such means the ideal standard is kept -in close relation to the child’s conduct until it is taken up and -assimilated into his nature. For this reason it is better to begin -the definite teaching of manners with reference to the school, -and as far as possible to allow actual occurrences to suggest or -illustrate the point to be considered. The lesson that will fit -the needs of the occasion is the most effective. Just here it may -be remarked that, within bounds, a teacher is justified in taking -advantage of these opportunities, even if it somewhat disturbs the -formality of a rigid programme of school-work. - -=2.= The mother’s method may be followed still farther in making -the definite lesson as informal as possible. Questions should be -asked to awaken thought, and the lesson should partake more of the -nature of a familiar conversation than of a school exercise. Pupils -should be allowed to tell what they know on certain points, and new -truths should be “developed” as in other subjects. - -=3.= The instruction to older pupils may be given in a similar -manner, but less simply; or the item may be read with or without -comment. This lesson serves to instruct those ignorant of -prevailing forms, and to keep the matter before the minds of -others who are better informed. When pupils are old enough, if not -provided with a text-book on manners, it is well for them to make a -note of the directions given. - -=4.= The time given to this subject must be regulated by the other -work in the school. A few minutes daily will amount to a great deal -in the course of years. - -=5.= A plan that has been successfully pursued is to allow ten -minutes for the opening exercises of school, and to make a brief -lesson in manners a part of these exercises. It is not the aim -of the author that the illustrative lessons shall be arbitrarily -followed. That would be to aim at an impossibility. If success is -expected, it is even more necessary in this branch than in others -that the work be stamped with the individuality of the teacher. -There must also be a certain compass of expression and force and -earnestness of manner in giving these lessons which cannot be -imparted to the printed page. - -=6.= Brevity is essential, as the effect sought would be lost if -the lesson became tiresome. Moreover, it is not intended to add -to the already overburdened curriculum of most schools. Teachers -should exercise care in selecting items adapted to the age and -capacity of their pupils. It is needless to add that as far as -there is opportunity teachers should see that precept and practice -go hand-in-hand. - - -SPECIAL DIRECTIONS TO TEACHERS. - -=1.= =The manners of pupils are usually similar to those of the -teacher.= It is therefore of the utmost importance that he should -himself exemplify true courtesy, because he will be imitated. His -whole bearing and manner in the presence of pupils should be above -criticism. If not conversant with the details of a code of manners, -it is obligatory upon him to become so, and to conform his manners -to it. - -=2.= =A high and loud tone of voice= should not have place in a -school-room. - -There is perhaps no more unrefining influence unconsciously exerted -by a teacher than that of a loud voice. Emerson says, “Loudness -is rude, quietness always genteel,” and in nothing is the truth -more apparent than in the voice. As children are close imitators, -if teachers speak in a loud and dictatorial manner, so will their -pupils. - -A teacher’s voice should be as melodious as nature permits, and its -effect should be heightened by all the modulations and intonations -used in polite conversation. Suitable language _voiced_ in this -manner not only has a most refining influence on the character and -manners of pupils, but is often the only instrumentality needed in -the formal “government” of the school. - -=3.= =A teacher should assume no attitude in a school-room which -is not proper for the pupils.= Here again the natural propensity -of children to imitate should be remembered. Teachers have been -known to censure children for carelessness in posture when they -themselves were guilty of the same. There is no instruction of this -kind so impressive as that of example, and if teachers wish their -pupils to be patterns of propriety in attitude, motions, actions, -they themselves must furnish the model. - -=4.= =Teachers should not be careless in personal habits.= Besides -formal instruction relative to habits of cleanliness and tidiness, -the teacher should show the importance of these habits by strict -adherence to them. Teachers should dress neatly and in good taste. -This does not necessarily involve expense. There should be no -gaudiness of dress, but due attention should be paid to harmony of -color and suitableness of fabric, and garments should be made in -prevailing styles. Attention to these details will help to refine -the tastes of pupils. - -=5.= =Teachers should watch their tones and words with great care.= -It is not enough that expressions should be grammatical, but -they should be devoid of anything inelegant. All proprieties of -speech should be observed, even (or especially) with the youngest -children. _Severe_ expressions, arising from lack of self-control -on the part of the teacher, are productive of demoralization in the -school, and have a most unrefining effect on the pupils. - -Let teachers observe the direction which they give to their -pupils,-- - - “Guard well while you are young - Ear and eye and _tongue_,--” - -and it will be much more effectual than the memorizing of the -couplet. A polite request is at any time more refining and -effective than a stern command. Instead of saying “Do this” or -“Do that,” if teachers make a practice of asking “Will you kindly -do this?” or “Please do that,” they will find their wishes more -cheerfully complied with, and less selfishness displayed in the -requests made by pupils. - -=6.= =Teachers should not only guard their words, but the -expression of their countenances.= The expression should be -pleasant and indicative of kindness and common sense. A stolid -expression or constant smiling are both exceedingly objectionable -in a school-room, as elsewhere. - -Children are very susceptible either to smiles or frowns, and both -should be used with discretion. Approving smiles, like approving -words, may be given as rewards, but a too liberal use detracts from -their value. It may seem to be setting up an ideal standard to say -that when in the school-room an angry or a petulant look should -never come upon a teacher’s face. It is sometimes necessary to -express regret, sorrow, or severity in this manner, but anger and -irritability never, as that shows lack of self-control; and one of -the serious results of such a lack is impoliteness. - -=7.= =Teachers should not indulge in modes of discipline that -are unrefining in their tendencies.= Happily the old barbaric -modes of punishment are passing away. If complete abolition of -corporal punishment does not seem feasible, any teacher ought to -be possessed of sufficient delicacy and refinement to avoid making -such punishment public. It should _never_ be inflicted in the -presence of the school. - - -PRACTICAL TRAINING IN MANNERS. - -=1.= Ask the children daily to tell what opportunity they have -improved of being kind and polite. - -=2.= The teacher should remark on any improvement shown by the -pupils, and lead pupils to talk of it. It is well to allow them -to talk without restraint so as to obtain their real opinions. -Tact will be needed to ward off a feeling of self-gratulation or -conceit, which may otherwise be brought out when pupils tell of -their own polite acts. - -=3.= Impress pupils with the idea that good manners is one of the -subjects pursued in the schools, and that it will help them in -life, and that practice shows progress in this particular branch. - -=4.= Without seeming to demand it, teachers should lead children -to offer them any service that is _not menial_. Such attentions as -disposing of wraps, umbrellas, etc., fetching them when needed, -picking up things accidentally dropped, handing crayon, eraser, -etc., lifting or moving things, offering a chair, helping to put -things in their places at the close of school, should be rendered -to teachers by pupils. If, at first, in order to make children see -what offices are proper, the teacher must ask for them, it should -be as one would ask an equal, and not a servant; and any service -rendered should be most politely acknowledged. - -=5.= The older children should be made to understand the propriety -of assuming some responsibility over the younger. This is almost -universally practiced in schools where “busy work” is done, when -the older pupils help to distribute materials for such work, and -to assist in its execution. They should also assist those who need -aid in putting on or taking off wraps, overshoes, etc. Children -should understand that girls need not necessarily assist girls, -and boys boys, but that help should be offered and accepted, as is -convenient. - -=6.= Children should be encouraged to try to settle disputes or -to quell disorder in any form. This does not imply a system of -monitorship. As young children are pleased to do these things, it -needs tact and watchfulness on the teacher’s part to keep down -an overbearing or officious spirit. This may be accomplished by -appointing certain pupils for a definite length of time, and by -removing them from “office” when they exceed their authority. -These advisers are not to be encouraged in tale-bearing. It should -be considered just cause for removal, unless the tale is told in -order to get the teacher’s advice as to the best mode of settling a -difficulty. - -=7.= Pupils should be trained to receive and entertain those who -come to visit the schools. They should entertain as politely -in a school-room as in a parlor. When visitors come, a pupil -should answer the bell, politely invite the company to enter, -find them comfortable seats, take their wraps if they wish to -dispose of them, and offer any other attention the occasion may -seem to demand. To do this properly at the time implies previous -training--pupils acting as visitors. In this as in other things, -officiousness on the part of pupils should be guarded against. Give -opportunities to all pupils in turn to show these attentions. - -=8.= Whenever it is possible, every direction in manners should -be exemplified in the school-room. When the school-room does -not furnish illustrations, directions should be made as real as -possible to the youngest pupils, as, for instance, they should -actually be shown how to hold the fork, how to drink from a -tumbler, how to enter a room, etc. - -=9.= The polite phrases of society should be used by the teacher to -the pupil, and vice versa. - -In the discipline of the school, when children have had training in -good manners, the question “Is this polite?” will oftentimes prove -more effectual than a severe reprimand. This has been demonstrated -by actual experience, even in schools difficult of control. - - - - -Chapter II. - -_LESSONS ON MANNERS._ - - -LESSON I. - -For the Youngest Pupils. - -=Purpose.=--To awaken an interest in manners in general. - -=Method.=--A common incident in real life briefly described, -followed by questions and answers. - - -_The Lesson._ - -As I was sitting on the piazza the other evening, watching the -sunset and listening to the chirp of the birds, a boy passed along -the sidewalk, and as he looked up and saw me, he touched his hat -and smiled and said, “Good evening, Miss B.” I smiled back and -answered him, and as he passed on I thought about him. Why did I -think about him? - -“Because he was so pleasant to you.” - -Can you tell what I thought? - -“You thought he was good.” - -“You thought he was a nice boy.” - -Why did I think so? - -“Because he touched his hat.” - -“Because he smiled.” - -“Because he said, ‘Good evening, Miss B.’” - -Yes, because he was polite to me. Can you tell why we should be -polite? - -“It makes people think of us.” - -“It makes people like us.” - -What must we learn, then, if we wish people to like us? - -“To be polite.” - - -LESSON II. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest kindness as an element of politeness. - -=Method.=-A supposed incident is used, and questions given. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose a new little girl should come into our room. Perhaps she -would come from a country far away from this place. Her dress might -be queer, and she might not look like any other little girl in the -room. What do you think these boys and girls would do? - -“Look at her.” - -Oh, I hope not, for how would she feel? - -“I guess she wouldn’t like it.” - -“I think she would be scared.” - -“Perhaps she would cry.” - -If she should speak in her own way, not like ours, what would -happen then? - -“Like enough we should laugh.” - -Oh, no, I hope not. - -“I should feel sorry for her.” - -What would you _do_ for her, May? - -“I would go and stand by her and speak to her.” - -What would you say? - -“Please come and sit with me.” - -What would you say of May, children, if she should do and say what -she thinks she would? - -“That she is a good girl.” - -“She is a kind girl.” - -“And a polite girl.” - -What would you say of those children who stared and laughed at her? - -“They were not kind.” - -“They were not polite.” - -What do you mean by politeness? - -“It is to speak kind words.” - -“And to do kind acts.” - -Yes. I will tell you what it is, in a pretty verse: - - “Politeness is to do and say - The kindest thing in the kindest way.” - - _Note._--This couplet is to be memorized. - - -LESSON III. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest seeking the happiness of others as an -element of good manners. - -=Method.=--A story told founded on an incident liable to happen at -any time, and a conversation deduced. - - -_The Lesson._ - -One day I looked out on the play-ground, where there were many -children playing and seeming to have the best kind of a time. On -the other side of the ground was one little girl looking as sad -and lonely as you can think. I was about to go and see if I could -cheer her up, when another little girl whose name was Jennie, -and who had been playing with all her might, happened to see her. -She left her place and went to the stranger, and said in a sweet -way, “Wouldn’t you like to come and play too? Come and take my -place.” And away they went hand-in-hand, looking as happy as two -butterflies. - -Now, what do you think of Jennie? - -“She was good.” - -“She was kind.” - -“She asked the new girl to go and play.” - -Was that all? - -“She gave up her place in the game that the little girl might play.” - -Was that very kind? - -“Yes, Miss B.” - -How did it make the little stranger feel? - -“Happy.” - -What do you say of such acts? - -“They are polite.” - -How, then, shall we be polite to others? - -“By trying to make them happy.” - -_Note._--Although all the underlying principles of politeness can -be taught unconsciously to the youngest pupils, it is better to -teach but two formally, without unfamiliar terms. The end sought in -the first year of instruction in this subject is to rouse thought -and interest, and to lead the pupil to make simple judgments. In -the next higher grade of lessons, other principles may be formally -taught, and new terms brought out. In the highest grade all -principles should be taught. - - - - -Chapter III. - -_LESSONS ON MANNERS._ - -SECOND TWO YEARS. - - -LESSON IV. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest kindness and unselfishness as two underlying -principles of good manners. - -=Method.=--A familiar conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose a boy seated in the easiest chair in the room, reading and -enjoying himself, should rise on seeing his mother enter, and offer -her the chair. What would you say of that boy? - -“That he was kind.” - -Then what kind of a heart would you suppose he had? - -“A kind heart.” - -And of whom did this kind heart lead him to think? - -“Of his mother.” - -Do you suppose he disliked to give up the chair? - -“I think he did.” - -“I think he was glad to give it up.” - -How could that be? - -“Why, he wanted the chair, but he loved his mother so much he was -glad to give it up.” - -Mary has told it very well. What can you say of him beside that he -was kind? - -“He was unselfish.” - -What is it to be unselfish? - -“To think of others before ourselves.” - -And to what do kindness and unselfishness lead? - -“To politeness.” - -There is a rule that may help you in being unselfish and polite, -and I wish you to learn it. It is this: - -“Do to others as you wish others to do to you.” - - -LESSON V. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest as a reason for cultivating good manners -that we thus make our manners like those of the best people. - -=Method.=--Questions and answers. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Of what did we talk in our last lesson? - -“Of kindness.” - -“And trying to make others happy.” - -What is it to think of the happiness of others before our own? - -“Unselfishness.” - -And if we practice unselfishness, what can be said of us? - -“That we have good manners.” - -But do all kind and unselfish people have good manners? - -(Some are in doubt.) Let us see. I do not think a truly kind heart -will allow any one to be rude, but how is it in this case? It is -not thought polite to eat with the knife. Have you ever known kind -people to do it? - -“Yes, Miss B.” - -Why do you think they do it? - -“Because they know no better.” - -Can they learn better? - -“Yes, Miss B.” - -How? - -“From other people.” - -How from other people? - -“They can watch, and do what they see nice people do.” - -And how do these nice people know? - -“Perhaps they have watched some other nice people.” - -If one who has used his knife in eating learns better, what ought -he to do? - -“To stop using it.” - -And if he continues to use it, what will be thought of him? - -“That he is odd or queer.” - -Should you like to be thought odd or queer? - -“No ma’am.” - -Then what must you do? - -“We must watch people who know what good manners are, and try to -make our manners like theirs.” - -What kind of people are polite? - -“The best people.” - -If we learn to do as the best people do, how shall we be considered? - -“To be _best_ people.” - -Now tell me one reason why our manners should be good. - -“Because the best people have good manners.” - -And another? - -“Because we wish to be considered _best_.” - - -LESSON 6. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest gaining the esteem of others as a reason why -good manners should be cultivated. - -=Method.=--A story. - - -_The Lesson._ - -A boy once wished to find a place to work. He went to a shop in -town where he had heard help was needed. Many were there before -him, and he thought he stood no chance at all of getting the work, -but much to his surprise he was employed. He said, “Why, sir, I -did not expect it when so many were ahead of me.” “Do you wish to -know why I hired you?” said the gentleman. “You came in quietly, -you took off your hat, you gave your chair to an old man, you stood -patiently until your turn came, and then you spoke pleasantly and -in a manly tone of voice; in fact, I saw you were a well-bred boy, -and that is the reason I hired you.” - -If this boy had been rude, what would have happened? - -“He would not have been employed.” - -How did the gentleman feel toward him? - -“He liked him.” - -What was his one reason for liking him? He had never seen him -before. - -“His manners were good.” - -If your manners are good, how will people feel toward you? - -“They will like us.” - -Tell me, then, a reason why you should be polite. - -“We should be polite because people like us better for it.” - - - - -Chapter IV. - -_MANNERS IN SCHOOL._ - -FIRST TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 7. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good manners in school. - -=Method.=--A guessing lesson. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Shall we have a guessing game to-day? - -“Yes’m.” - -Very well. You may guess, Arthur, why I like to have a boy enter -this room quietly. - -“Because you have told him to.” - -What is it to do as I have told him? - -“It is minding you.” - -You may guess, Mary, what I should think of a boy who came in -noisily. - -“That he was rude.” - -And the other boy was----? - -“Polite.” - -Then if he minded me, it made him----? - -“Polite.” - -You may guess, George, why I like to have Johnnie pick up my crayon -when I drop it. - -“You want it.” - -Yes, but I could get it for myself. Why do I like to have Johnnie -do it for me? - -“It shows how kind he is.” - -If he should not pick it up, would it be because he was unkind? - -“Perhaps he wouldn’t think.” - -What have we learned about those who try to think of doing others a -kindness? - -“That they are polite.” - -You may guess how I feel toward Johnnie when he is kind and polite -to me. - -“You like him.” - -May I guess that you like me when I am kind and polite to you? - -“Yes, Miss B.” - -Suppose we should always be kind and polite to each other here in -school, what kind of a school should we have? - -“A good school.” - -“A pleasant school.” - -Then we must try and make our manners in school good. I must be -polite to you, and you polite to me. - - -LESSON 8. - -=Purpose.=--To show that regularity of attendance at school is a -mark of good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -You may read a part of yesterday’s lesson, Susie. - -“I can’t.” - -Why not? - -“I was not here yesterday, and I don’t know the lesson.” - -Why were you not here? - -“I did not wish to come.” - -What did you lose by not coming? - -“My lessons.” - -Does that make any hard work for me, Susie? - -“Yes’m. You will have to teach the lesson again.” - -What will the rest of the class do while I am teaching you this -lesson? - -“They will have to wait for me.” - -What is thought of a school when the pupils do not come steadily? - -“That it is not a good school.” - -Tell me, then, why it is unfair for pupils to stay away from -school, when they can come. - -“It makes extra work for the teacher.” - -“It keeps the rest of the class waiting.” - -“It gives the school a bad name.” - -Yes, and all this is unkind, and if unkind----? - -“It is impolite.” - - -LESSON 9. - -=Purpose.=--To show that punctuality of attendance at school is a -sign of good manners. - -=Method.=--A contrast drawn and lesson deduced. - - -_The Lesson._ - -It is not a little boy in our room of whom I am about to tell you. -I hope there is not such a child in _our_ room. But there is a boy -_somewhere_ who has to be called and called in the morning, and -then he yawns, and takes another nap, and puts off getting out of -bed as long as he possibly can. He is late at breakfast, late in -doing his morning’s work, and late at school. He goes into his -school-room after the rest are at their work, and disturbs the -teacher and the children, feels very unhappy, and perhaps gets a -mark that he does not like. - -There is another boy _somewhere_, and I guess right here in this -room. _He_ does not wait for his mother to call him, but when it is -time he springs out of bed, and is ready in time for his breakfast, -and gets his work done, and starts for school with a happy face, -and arrives there in time for a game with his school-mates and a -pleasant word with his teacher before school begins. Which one of -these boys would you rather be, John? - -“The one who is not late.” - -Why? - -“Because it makes trouble when we come in late.” - -How does it make trouble? - -“We do not mind you, for you have told us not to be late.” - -“Sometimes you have to stop the lesson and help us take off our -things.” - -“And show us the place in the book.” - -And how about the class? - -“They look at us when we come in, and forget their lesson.” - -If you are unkind enough not to mind me, and to disturb the class, -what are your manners? - -“Bad.” - -Tell me how it is if you try not to be late. - -“We are kind and polite.” - - -LESSON 10. - -=Purpose.=--To show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners in -school. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -You may tell me what you do in getting ready to go on a visit. - -“We bathe.” - -“And comb our hair.” - -“And clean our nails.” - -“And put on our best clothes.” - -Why should you do all this? - -“Because we wish to look nice.” - -Why do you care to look nice? - -“People see us.” - -What of that? - -“We ought to make ourselves as nice as we can to other people.” - -“They like us better if we are clean.” - -Then what is one reason why you make yourselves tidy? - -“To make people like us.” - -Are there any people here whom you wish to like you? - -“Yes, Miss B., you and our school-mates.” - -Tell me one way to make us like you. - -“To keep ourselves clean.” - -“And our clothes clean.” - -If you do this with the idea of pleasing others, what can we say of -you? - -“We are polite.” - - -LESSON 11. - -=Purpose.=--To show that care in keeping the school-room clean is a -sign of good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -There is a rug at the door, children. Why is it there? - -“We are to clean our shoes on it when they are muddy.” - -Jack did not know, did he, when he came in? What is the use of -cleaning your shoes? - -“It keeps the floor clean.” - -How else can you keep the floor clean? - -“We need not throw paper on it.” - -“Nor anything else.” - -And why keep the floor clean? - -“That our room may be nice.” - -“You wish us to keep it clean.” - -Once in a while some little children are careless about it. Do you -suppose they are thinking about you or me? - -“No, Miss B., neither one.” - -Then we must call them impolite. - -In what way, then, can you show good manners? - -“By trying to keep our school-room neat and clean.” - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -Care of school furniture. - -Care of halls, piazzas, walls. - -Care of school grounds. - -Care of books. - -Economy in using what is furnished by the school. - -Care in using borrowed articles and in returning them. - -Only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time. - - -LESSON 12. - -=Purpose.=--To show how pupils should conduct themselves toward -their teachers. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose when I wished to speak to you I should call you _boy_ -instead of Harry, how would you like it? - -“I shouldn’t like it.” - -Well, I might call you _pupil_? - -“I shouldn’t like that either.” - -How would it do to call you _child_, Mary? - -“No one would know which child.” - -What must I call any of you that you may know who is meant? - -“You must call us by our names.” - -Do you like your own name? - -“Yes’m.” - -Do you suppose I like my name? - -“Yes’m.” - -Then what should you do when you speak to your teacher? - -“We should call you by your real name.” - -Why? - -“Because it is polite if you wish it.” - - _Note._--A teacher’s name should be taught to pupils when they - first enter school. - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -1. Rendering assistance to teachers. - -2. Care in not interrupting a teacher. - -3. Kind treatment of school-mates. - -4. Respectful treatment of the janitor. - -5. Respectful treatment of visitors. - -6. Respectful treatment of those who address the school. - - _Note._--Subjects for many lessons may be found in Reminders, - Chapter XII., etc. - - - - -Chapter V. - -_MANNERS IN SCHOOL._ - -SECOND TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 13. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good manners in school. - -=Method.=--A suggestive incident related, followed by a -conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -One time a little girl whom I knew had a birth-day party, and I was -invited. I went, and saw many little girls and boys wearing their -best clothes, their brightest faces, and pleasantest smiles. They -also had brought the best of something else. Do you know what? - -“Their best manners.” - -Yes. These same boys and girls were in my school, and as I saw how -lovely they could be at a party, it made me wish something. Do you -know what? - -“That they would be so in school.” - -What difference would it make? - -“It would make the school pleasanter.” - -“It would make it better.” - -I wish you would all think what politeness in school would lead you -to do. - -“We should be kind to you.” - -“We should mind you.” - -And then you would be what kind of pupils? - -“Obedient.” - -Yes. What else would you do? - -“Learn our lessons.” - -What kind of pupils would you be? - -“Diligent pupils.” - -“Industrious pupils.” - -If you are obedient and industrious all day, how would you feel -when school closed? - -“Happy.” - -How many think it will pay to be polite in school? How many will -try? - -If we study and practise good manners here, how will it be in other -places? - -“Our manners will be good.” - -Give two reasons why our school manners should be good. - -“Good manners help to make a pleasant school.” - -“Good manners studied and practised in school aid in their practice -elsewhere.” - -_Note._--Terms obedient, diligent, etc., are supposed to have been -given in moral lessons. - - -LESSON 14. - -=Purpose.=--To show that regularity of attendance at school is a -sign of good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -When I called the roll this morning, did every one answer to his -name? - -“No, Miss B., some were not here.” - -Why do you suppose they were not here? - -“Perhaps they were sick.” - -“Perhaps they had to work.” - -“Perhaps they had gone away on a visit.” - -“Perhaps they did not wish to come.” - -How many reasons does that make? - -“Four.” - -How many good reasons? - -“Two.” - -What are the poor reasons? - -“That they are away on a visit.” - -“That they do not wish to come.” - -What do you say of children who often stay away from school. - -“That they are not steady in coming.” - -Yes, or that their attendance is not regular. Tell me how many -people wish you to be regular in your attendance at school. - -“You do, because we lose our lessons if we stay away.” - -“And our school-mates, because they have to wait for us to make up -lost lessons.” - -“And our parents, and all good people who know us, because they -wish us to learn.” - -“We all wish our school to have a good name.” - -Then what do you think of an absence that can be helped? - -“It is unkind.” - -“It is impolite.” - - -LESSON 15. - -=Purpose.=--To show that punctuality of attendance is a sign of -good manners. - -=Method.=--A story followed by a conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -I once knew a little girl with blue eyes and rosy cheeks and lovely -golden hair. Everybody loved her because she was so sweet and -loving and kind. But even this dear little girl had some faults, -and one was in putting off whatever she had to do. - -When her mamma would say, “Bessie, it is time to start for school,” -she would answer sweetly, “Yes, mamma, I shall go in a minute,” but -the minutes would fly and Bessie would not start. Of course she was -often late. What trouble did she cause by her tardiness? - -“She had a tardy mark against her name, and spoiled the record of -the school.” - -“She displeased her mamma.” - -“And her teacher.” - -“She disturbed the class by going in late.” - -Then, even if she were a very nice little girl in most things, what -did this show her to be? - -“Selfish and unkind and impolite.” - -Why? - -“Because she made others unhappy.” - -What do you say of one who is always at school on time? - -“We say he is punctual.” - -What is one way by which politeness in school can be shown? - -“By punctuality.” - - -LESSON 16. - -=Purpose.=--To show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose a boy should come to school with his face and hands -unwashed and his hair uncombed, what would you say of him? - -“That he was not nice.” - -How would you feel toward him? - -“We should not like to look at him.” - -“Nor sit beside him.” - -“Nor touch him.” - -What do you say of people whom you do not wish to see or touch? - -“They are disagreeable.” - -What must people expect when they make themselves disagreeable? - -“That they will not be liked.” - -If they show so little care for the good opinion of others, what -may be said of them? - -“That they are disrespectful.” - -And if they are disrespectful? - -“They are impolite.” - -Then how can pupils show politeness to teacher and school-mates? - -“By being clean and tidy.” - - -LESSON 17. - -=Purpose.=--To show that care for school belongings is a sign of -good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Think just two minutes of the question I am about to ask you, and -then, if you have something to say, raise hands. How can we keep -our school-rooms, school-buildings, and school-grounds in good -order? You may begin with our room, Mary. - -“When it is muddy we must clean our shoes on the mat before we come -in.” - -“We must not throw things on the floor.” - -“We must keep things in their places.” - -“We must not mark the desks.” - -“Nor the wall.” - -How is it with the steps, or piazzas, or the halls? - -“We must take the same care of them as of the inside.” - -What of the yard? - -“We must not throw papers or anything else in it.” - -“Nor trample down the grass.” - -“Except on the playground.” - -Suppose, instead of taking care of things in this way, some boy -should carelessly throw things about, mar the furniture, or trample -down the grass? - -“He would be a bad boy.” - -“Nobody would like him.” - -“If he kept doing it, perhaps he would be sent home.” - -If he kept doing it when he knew better, and when he was told not -to, what would you say of him? - -“That he was disobedient.” - -And what may be said of one who neglects the wishes of others? - -“That he is impolite.” - -Yes, or ill-bred. If pupils take good care of everything belonging -to school, what can be said of them? - -“That they are well-bred.” - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -1. Care of books. - -2. Economy in using what is furnished by the school. - -3. Care in using borrowed articles and in returning them. - -4. Only quiet conduct permissible in the school-room at any time. - - -LESSON 18. - -=Purpose.=--To show how pupils should conduct themselves towards -their teacher. - -=Method.=--A short incident related and conclusion drawn. - - -_The Lesson._ - -One time I heard a mother say to her two boys, “I wish you to do -some work for me. There are the chickens to be fed, Henry, and old -Doll is waiting for Charles to give her her morning’s meal.” The -boys both heard distinctly. This is how Henry’s face looked: round -as an apple, eyes bright, a pleasant smile on his lips, and with -an “all right, mother,” he started on a run to the barn where the -hens were. This is how Charles looked: a long face, eyes dull and -sober, a scowl on his forehead, as he moped along to feed old Doll, -after being repeatedly told to do so by his mother. Tell me what -the first face meant. - -“It meant that Henry was the better boy.” - -“It meant that he intended to obey his mother.” - -“And to do so right off.” - -“And in a pleasant way.” - -What did the other face mean? - -“It meant that Charles did not like to obey.” - -“And he intended to take his own time.” - -“And he was cross about it.” - -Yes, you would know he was ill-natured by the scowl. - -What do you say of Henry’s treatment of his mother? - -“It was kind and polite.” - -Did any of you ever act like Charles? And here in school? If you -treat me kindly and politely, how will you show it in one way? - -“By obeying you immediately and cheerfully.” - - - - -Chapter VI. - -_MANNERS AT HOME._ - -FIRST TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 19. - -=Purpose.=--To awaken an interest in home manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Whom do you love best in all the world? - -“Papa and mamma.” - -Why do you love them best? - -“They are good to us.” - -“They take care of us.” - -“They love us.” - -How ought you to repay them? - -“We ought to be kind to them.” - -How kind? - -“We ought to be kinder to them than to any one else in the world.” - -What means about the same thing as kindness? - -“Politeness.” - -If so, ought you ever to be impolite to them? - -“No, Miss B., we ought to be more polite to them than to any one -else.” - - _Note._--A similar lesson on politeness to brothers and sisters - may be given here. - - -LESSON 20. - -=Purpose.=--To specify attentions due to home friends. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -How ought we to treat everybody? - -“Politely.” - -Whom should we treat the most politely of any one? - -“Our father and mother.” - -“And brothers and sisters.” - -“And everybody at home.” - -When you first see the people at home in the morning, do you ever -forget to speak to them? - -“Yes, Miss B.” - -And what else sometimes happens? - -“We look cross.” - -“And perhaps we cry.” - -Would you like to know how you can always be pleasant and polite to -your own home friends in the morning? - -“Yes’m.” - -I will tell you. There is a little key which you can all have, -and if you will not forget to use it, it will always make you -pleasant and polite in the morning. It is this: “Good-morning, -mamma!” “Good-morning, papa!” and a “Good-morning!” to all who are -present. But this must be said in a certain way. Can you tell me -how? - -“Pleasantly.” - -And how should you look when you say it? - -“Good-natured.” - -“We should smile.” - -Yes, a pleasant “Good-morning!” and a smiling face will help to -make the whole family happy. I wish you to remember about this key, -and shall ask you to learn these words: - - “Good-morning! that’s the golden key - That unlocks every day for me.” - - _Note._--Similar lessons may be given here, closing with the - “keys,” - - “When evening comes, ‘Good-night!’ I say, - And close the door of each glad day.” - - “When friends give anything to me, - I’ll use the little ‘Thank you’ key.” - - “‘Excuse me,’ ‘Beg your pardon,’ too, - When by mistake some harm I do.” - - “Or, if unkindly wrong I’ve given, - With the ‘Forgive me’ key I’ll be forgiven.” - - - - -Chapter VII. - -_MANNERS AT HOME._ - -SECOND TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 21. - -=Purpose.=--To specify some polite attentions due to home friends. - -=Method.=--A story told, followed by a conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -I once knew a little girl whom most everybody praised for being -polite. Whenever she met people away from home, or whenever there -was company at her home, she was very polite to them. She would -ask visitors to take the easiest chairs, she would bring a hassock -for their feet, she would watch their comfort in every way. She -said “Yes, sir,” and “No, Miss B.,” and “Excuse me,” and “I beg -your pardon,” and all those polite things. One day when I was the -visitor and had been treated very politely by the little girl, I -happened to hear her mother ask her to raise the shade. A little -while before, she had asked me, in the sweetest manner, if she -should lower this same shade for me; but in answer to her mother’s -request she frowned and did not move from her chair. Pretty soon -her little brother came to her to be amused, but she pushed him -away and said: “Go away, Harry, I can’t be bothered with you.” -When her father came in tired at night, and asked her to get his -slippers for him, she did it in a very ungracious manner. - -Those who have something to say of this little girl may raise hands. - -“She was not good to her father and mother.” - -“Nor to little Harry.” - -“She was polite to company.” - -“But not to her own people.” - -Why should we be polite to our home friends? - -“Because they are kind to us, and love us.” - -How should we be polite to them? - -“We should look out for their comfort.” - -“And always speak politely to them.” - -(Here lead children to specify courtesies of act and speech. -Specially refer to a boy’s polite treatment of his mother.) 320. - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -Special politeness to very old people in the family. - -Polite treatment of visitors. - -Polite treatment of servants. - -Reminders. - -1. Be sure to say “Sir?” to your father when he calls your name, -and “Yes, sir,” and “No, sir,” in answer to a question. Cheerfully -wait upon your father. Never contradict him; mind him quickly. - -2. Treat your mother as if she were the queen. Say “Yes, mamma,” -or “Yes, mother,” when she calls your name, and “No, mamma,” etc., -in answer to her questions. Boys and girls should show their -mothers every polite attention due other ladies. - -3. “Please” and “Thank you” should be said to servants. 108. - - - - -Chapter VIII. - -_MANNERS IN PUBLIC._ - -FIRST TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 22. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good manners in the street. - -=Method.=--An incident related. Pupils allowed to comment. - - -_The Lesson._ - -The other day, as I was walking on the sidewalk, two or three boys -came running down the hill, and nearly pushed me over. They never -stopped to ask me to excuse them, but ran on, calling to everyone, -“Out of the way!” Some little girls on the other side of the street -were laughing very loudly and causing every one to look at them. - -What do you say of these boys and girls? - -“They were rude.” - -“The boys were unkind.” - -Ought not boys to run? - -“Not against people.” - -Ought not little girls to laugh? - -“Not loudly in the street.” - -Why not? - -“Because it is not the custom of well-bred girls.” - -How should people act on the street? - -“They should give people their share of the walk.” - -“They should not cause people to look at them.” - -Yes, they should be little ladies and gentlemen on the street. 182. - - -LESSON 23. - -=Purpose.=--To teach that undue curiosity shown on the street is -impolite. - -=Method.=--A story, followed by a conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Once there was a little boy who was deformed. - -Who will tell me what that means? - -“It means that he was a hunch-back.” - -“Or that he had a queer foot.” - -Yes, this poor boy had not feet like yours, and could walk very -little without crutches. One day he was taking a walk with his -nurse, and was trying to take a few steps without his crutches. Of -course it was very hard work for him, and he went very slowly. Some -boys were skipping down the hill towards him, and he looked as if -he would give all he had in the world if he could skip too. But -what do you suppose these boys did as they came near? They stopped -still, and stared at the poor little fellow. It made him feel bad, -for his cheeks grew red and tears filled his eyes as he hobbled -away from them. - -What would you have done, John, if you had been one of those boys? - -“I would have walked right by without looking.” - -“I would have looked at his face, but not at his feet.” - -“I would have acted as if he were like other boys.” - -Yes, that is the way to do. Think how you would like to be treated -if you were in this boy’s place. - -Is it the custom of well-bred people to stare at one on the street? - -“No, Miss B.” - -We will try to remember then---- - -“Never to stare at people on the street.” - - - - -Chapter IX. - -_MANNERS IN PUBLIC._ - -SECOND TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 24. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good manners on the street. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose we play taking a walk to-day. Where shall we go, Belle? - -“Around the square.” - -Very well. You may start now, and Mary and Kate and Jennie may take -hold of hands, and as they go along the street they may talk and -laugh at the top of their voices. If they meet any one, they need -not take any trouble to give up a part of the sidewalk. What do you -say, Ned? - -“That wouldn’t be right.” - -Why not? - -“Because it wouldn’t be nice for them to talk loud in the street.” - -And you, Harry? - -“They ought to let people pass on the sidewalk.” - -Oh, I thought I saw some boys the other day who did not do it. Were -they wrong? - -“Yes’m, they were.” - -How should we act in the street? - -“We should be quiet.” - -“And we should not be selfish and take all the walk.” - -Why should our behavior on the street be good? - -“Because many people see us there, and notice if it is not good.” - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS FOR BOTH GRADES. - -Polite attentions towards elderly people on the street. - -Polite attention towards strangers who make inquiries. - -Simple instruction in church manners. - -Simple instruction in manners at places of entertainment. - - _Note._--Many suggestions for these lessons may be found in - lessons for advanced grades. - - - - -Chapter X. - -_TABLE MANNERS._ - -FIRST TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 25. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good table-manners. - -=Method.=--A contrast drawn. Children allowed to comment. - - -_The Lesson._ - -A little girl came to the table very hungry. There were a good -many older people there, and as she had been taught to wait until -the older ones were served, she sat very still and waited very -patiently until every one else at the table was enjoying a nice -dinner. She grew hungry every minute, and could hardly keep the -tears back, but still did not ask for anything. When it was found -that she had been forgotten, but was so patient and well-behaved, -every one praised her, and you may be sure she had the best dinner -they were able to give her. - -Another little girl came to another table very hungry. She waited -for no one, but immediately began to ask for this and that, and not -in the nicest way, either. She made herself so disagreeable that -every one at the table was glad to have her served first. - -Did it pay the first little girl to wait? - -“Yes’m. Everybody thought she was so nice.” - -How about the other one? - -“They thought she was a naughty girl.” - -What is one way, then, by which you may make people like you? - -“By behaving politely at the table.” - - -LESSON 26. - -=Purpose.=--To show that punctuality at the table is desirable. - -=Method.=--An incident related, followed by a conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Johnnie, like many little boys, was fond of sleeping in the -morning. The bed always seemed the softest and his dreams the most -interesting just as the rising bell rang. He would wake just enough -to think there would be time enough before breakfast to go to sleep -again and finish out that one dream. But nap followed nap until -the sharp ting-a-ling-ling of the breakfast bell roused him. Then -he would _try_ to dress hurriedly, but every thing generally went -wrong, and he would get out to breakfast too late for the delicious -hot cakes the rest of the family had enjoyed. How do you think it -made him feel to eat a cold breakfast? - -“Cross.” - -Tell me what you think of such a boy as Johnnie. - -“He was lazy.” - -“He didn’t do as his mother wished him to.” - -Did he make his mother trouble? - -“Yes’m. His breakfast had to be kept for him.” - -“It would have been kinder if he had eaten with the rest.” - -Think of Johnnie, and tell me what you mean not to do any more. - -“To be late at the table.” - -Why? - -“Because it makes trouble and isn’t kind.” - -And if not kind? - -“Not polite.” - -Does this mean the home-table only? - -“No, Miss B. It means when we are at home or when we are visiting.” - - -LESSON 27. - -=Purpose.=--To show that polite attention is specially due the lady -of the house, at table. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Who sits at the head of the table? - -“Mother.” - -Who, then, is the most honored one at the table? - -“Mother.” - -And mother is sometimes called “the lady of the house.” How can we -tell when we ought to do certain things at the table? - -“We can watch the lady of the house.” - -Then how shall we know when to sit at the table? - -“When the lady of the house sits.” - -Yes, no one should sit until she does. And when the meal is over, -how long should we stay at table? - -“Until the lady of the house rises.” - -Suppose it is necessary to leave the table before that? - -“We must ask the one at the head of the table to excuse us.” - -Unless we do these things what will be thought of us? - -“People will think we have not been taught good manners.” - - -LESSON 28. - -=Purpose.=--To show that selfishness at the table is not a sign of -good manners. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -How many of you like oranges? I see that you all do. Suppose you -were to have oranges for breakfast, and when they were brought on -one should be much larger than the other, which would you want? - -“The biggest one.” - -Certainly, there is nothing wrong in that, but would you _take_ the -_largest_ one? - -“No, Miss B.” - -Why not? - -“I would leave that for mamma.” - -“It isn’t polite to take the largest and best for yourself.” - -Who should have the best? - -“Mamma and papa.” - -Suppose grandmamma or grandpapa should be at the table? - -“Then they should have the best.” - -Tell me who should have the best when there is any choice. - -“The older people.” - -How should the others feel about it? - -“They should be glad to give the best to others.” - - -LESSON 29. - -=Purpose.=--To specify some forms of polite expressions used at -table. - -=Method.=--An incident related. Criticisms elicited from pupils. - - -_The Lesson._ - -I once sat down to dine at a table where there were three children. -They seemed to be nearly starved, although I knew they had eaten a -good breakfast. As soon as they had taken their seats they called -out, “I want some bread,” “Give me some meat,” “Pass that jelly;” -and when they were served they began to eat as if it were their -first meal in a long time. I think some of you would have been -surprised at those children’s manners. What have you to say about -them, Jennie? - -“They ought to have kept still until they were served.” - -“They ought to have said, ‘I would like some bread, if you please.’” - -“And ‘Will you please give me some meat?’” - -“And? ‘Will you be so kind as to pass the jelly?’” - -Yes, that would have been much better. What should you say when -something is passed to you at table, and you do not wish it? - -“Not any, I thank you.” - -“I don’t care for any, thank you.” - -If you remember to do these things, what will be said of you? - -“That we know how to speak politely at the table.” - - - - -Chapter XI. - -_TABLE MANNERS._ - -SECOND TWO YEARS. - -ILLUSTRATIVE LESSONS. - - -LESSON 30. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good table manners. - -=Method.=--Questions. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Suppose you should see at any table a young lady, very pretty and -very nicely dressed, a perfect stranger to you, and she should say -to the servant, in quite a loud tone of voice, “Hurry, and bring me -my dinner.” What would you think of her, Henry? - -“I should think she had not learned to be polite.” - -Suppose she should eat very rapidly, putting the food to her mouth -with a knife, what would you think of her, Kate? - -“I should think she knew very little about good manners.” - -And if she should take the choicest of everything on the table for -herself? - -“I should say she was very selfish.” - -How have you formed these opinions of the young lady? - -“From her table manners.” - -Then good table manners are very important. Why? - -“Because people judge us by them.” - - -LESSON 31. - -=Purpose.=--To show the deference due the lady of the house at -table. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Who is the lady of the house, usually? - -“The mother of the family.” - -What seat at table does she usually occupy? - -“She sits at the head of the table.” - -Is there any way of knowing when we shall take our seats at table? -Shall we take them just as it happens? - -“We should take them when mother does, not before.” - -Or if we are away from home? - -“When the lady of the house does.” - -Yes, or when the one who presides at the table sits. - -How long should we sit at table, John? - -“Until we have finished eating.” - -It is not proper to leave as soon as we have finished. - -Can any one tell when we should rise from the table? - -“When the lady of the house rises.” - -Yes. Suppose it is necessary to leave before that? - -“We should ask to be excused.” - -Can you think of any other politeness to be shown the mother, or -the lady of the house, at table? - -“We should be prompt at meals.” - -Where? - -“Both at home and away from home.” - -Why? - -“Because it is impolite to keep people waiting for us.” - - -LESSON 32. - -=Purpose.=--To specify some polite usages at table. - -=Method.=--A conversation. - - -_The Lesson._ - -I would like you to tell me some things about table manners. You -may think of polite ways of asking for things at table, and I will -write them on the blackboard as you give them. But first you may -tell me whom you should ask. - -“A servant, if there is one.” - -And if not? - -“Any one who can easily reach what is wanted.” - -You may tell me _how_ to ask. - -“Please pass the bread.” - -“May I ask you for the bread?” - -“Will you be so kind as to pass the bread?” - -Yes, and if you are asked if you would like the bread, what should -you say? - -“If you please.” - -“And ‘Thank you,’ if you take it.” - -If you should not wish it? - -“No, I thank you.” - -“Or, ‘Not any, I thank you,’” - -How do you know these expressions are polite? - -“Polite people use them.” - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -Use of fork and spoon, with practical illustrations. - -Impoliteness of rapid eating. - - - - -Chapter XII. - -_LESSON ON MANNERS._ - -FOR ADVANCED PUPILS. - - -LESSON 1. - -=Purpose.=--To suggest the underlying principles of good manners. - -=Method.=--Item to be read with or without comment, or questions to -be asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Some one says “True politeness consists in making every one -happy about you.” It is true that forgetfulness of self and -thoughtfulness of the comfort and happiness of others makes one’s -behavior very acceptable to others. A kind heart is undoubtedly -the foundation of good manners; but if this be so, there are -other qualities of equal importance that form a superstructure -on which good manners rest. We use the term gentleman and lady -with reference to outward appearance, but they also imply that a -person is honest and true and refined. Who would think of calling -one a gentleman if his word could not be trusted? Charles I. said -to the Commoners, “You have not only the word of a king but of a -gentleman.” Could a lady be guilty of indelicate language? Would -a real gentleman or lady ridicule the unfortunate? True courtesy -implies much more than an outside show. Even what seems a mere form -is usually founded in kindness and common sense. It is necessary -that we become familiar with these forms. We do not like to be -called odd or peculiar. We do not like to be considered ignorant -of what good and wise people have decided it proper and right to -do. We wish rather to copy the manners of the best people that -we may gain their esteem and be classed with them. If we learn -and practise good manners while we are young, when older we shall -practise them unconsciously, as they will have become a habit. - -(_Questions to be used if preferred._) - -What leads people to be polite? - -How has some one defined true politeness? - -What did Charles I. imply by his statement? - -Why is it necessary to become familiar with the formalities of good -manners? Give illustration of some practice of polite society that -might be termed a formality. Enumerate the underlying principles of -good manners. - - - - -Chapter XIII. - -_MANNERS IN SCHOOL._ - - -LESSON 2. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of good manners in school. - -=Method.=--Item to be read with or without comment, or questions to -be asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Young people sometimes seem to think good manners are to be put on -as fine clothes are, not for every-day wear, but for company only. -Those who put this theory into practice will find that good manners -fit them in company no better than garments cut for some one else. -If manners really spring from a kind heart, they will be practised -everywhere. Good manners in school continually practised will soon -become a habit. Courteous pupils rarely need reprimand or reproof. -They treat their teacher as they would a friend, and in this way -help greatly in making the school pleasant and profitable. Such -pupils remember their school-days with pleasure. - -Questions. What is the appearance of one who is only occasionally -polite? - -What is the real source of good manners? - -Where should they be practised? - -Are good manners as important in a school-room as in a parlor? - -What is the effect of good manners in the school? - - -LESSON 3. - -=Purpose.=--To show that regularity and punctuality of attendance -at school are signs of good manners. - -=Method.=--Item to be read with or without comment, or questions to -be asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -In all well-regulated schools, teachers and school-officers -place much stress upon regularity of attendance; consequently -an avoidable or inexcusable absence shows disrespect to school -authority. - -When a pupil enters a school-room late it interrupts and disturbs -all who are present. An avoidable interruption or disturbance is, -of course, impolite. Any disregard of the rules of school shows a -lack of respect for teachers and school-officers. Lack of respect -and true politeness never go together. - -Questions. What is the rule in this school relative to regularity -of attendance? - -What in reference to punctuality? - -What absences or tardinesses show disrespect to school authority? - -How does disrespectful conduct affect the manners? - -To what kind of manners do regularity and punctuality tend? - - -LESSON 4. - -=Purpose.=--To show that cleanliness is one sign of good manners in -school. - -=Method.=--Item to be read with or without comment, or questions to -be asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Cleanliness of person and tidiness of dress are unmistakable signs -of good breeding. The minutest detail of the toilet should be -attended to. Frequent bathing and proper attentions to the hair, -the teeth, the nails, are of no slight importance. The clothing -also should be clean. Pupils who fail to observe these directions -not only show lack of respect for themselves, but for their -teachers and school-mates. Disrespect is impoliteness. - -Questions. What opinion do you form of a person who is untidy? - -What details of the toilet may be neglected? - -How does slovenliness of dress affect the reputation of one who -indulges in it? - -Of what does untidiness show a lack? - -Is disrespectful treatment of another ever polite? - - -LESSON 5. - -=Purpose.=--To show that care for school belongings is a sign of -good breeding. - -=Method.=--Item to be read and questions asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Proper respect for the school will deter pupils from throwing on -school-grounds, or on the steps of buildings, or on the floors of -the corridors or of the school-room, whatever is unsightly. - -The same may be said with reference to chalk or pencil marks, or -anything that defaces school-buildings or school furniture. - -In stormy weather pupils should not enter a school-building without -first cleaning the shoes or removing rubbers. They should enter -quietly and _never_ be noisy or boisterous inside of a school-room. -Running or jumping, or stepping on the seats or desks, is not -allowable. - -Pupils should take care of what they use but do not own. Books -or any materials furnished by the school should be carefully and -economically used. Moreover, if pupils are well-bred their own -books will be devoid of finger-marks or cuts, or of marks and soil -of any kind except that which comes from constant use. - -Questions. If pupils have the proper feeling for their school, -what care will they take of the grounds? Of the buildings? Of the -furniture? - -How show good breeding in economy? - -What rule holds good in returning borrowed articles? - -How should school-books be used even by their owners? - -Show how all these things are indicative of good breeding. - -Show how they are one step towards good citizenship. - - -LESSON 6. - -=Purpose.=--To show how pupils should conduct themselves towards -their teachers. - -=Method.=--Item to be read with or without comment. - - -_The Lesson._ - -1. When pupils are placed under the charge of a teacher it -is supposed the teacher knows what is for their best good; -consequently a teacher’s directions should be respected and obeyed. -In matters pertaining to conduct, pupils should yield their -opinions to that of a wise and faithful teacher, and should do it -with quick and cheerful obedience. Sulking, contradiction, or delay -in obeying are not only wrong, but inexcusably rude. - -2. Oftentimes pupils seem to regard it as no impoliteness to -interrupt a teacher either by inattention, disorder, or questions, -when a lesson is in progress. There are times when certain -questions relative to lessons are in order, but irrelevant -questions, or unnecessary requests, or hand-raising or shaking -before a teacher has finished speaking, are just as impolite in -a school-room as elsewhere. There are, of course, certain usages -peculiar to a school-room which would not be considered in order -elsewhere, because unnecessary; but, generally speaking, good -manners in a school-room and in a parlor are the same. - -3. Pupils should be kind and thoughtful in assisting teachers -whenever it is possible, by handing anything needed, or by waiting -upon them in any way. Boys, especially, should be quick to offer -help in erasing blackboards, in lifting heavy articles, or in -picking up anything accidentally dropped. All pupils should help to -put things in their proper places and to keep the school-room in -order. This is kindness and politeness. - -4. Boys should always take off their hats before entering a -school-room, and should not put them on at dismissal, until they -reach the outside door. If a teacher should stand at that door, -hats should not be put on until the teacher is passed. When boys -meet a teacher in the street they should always raise their hats, -whether the teacher be a gentleman or a lady. Both in school and -out, when pupils speak _to_ or _of_ their teacher, they should -speak the real name, and not use the indefinite title, “Teacher.” - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -Kind treatment of school-mates: when they are under criticism; -when they are peculiar in dress, speech, or manner; when they are -unfortunate; when they are strangers. - -Respectful treatment of the janitor. - -Respectful treatment of visitors. - -Respectful treatment of those who address the school. - - -REMINDERS. - -1. Do not fail to say “Good-morning, Miss ----” to your teacher, -and “Good-afternoon Miss ----” when you leave her. - -2. When you pass directly in front of your teacher, say “Excuse me.” - -3. Never fail to say “Thank you” (not “Thanks”) for the smallest -favor. - -4. Do not continually raise the hand, and never shake it in school, -to attract attention. - -5. Never stand at your desk, or step forward raising your hand, and -shaking it at your teacher. - -6. When a school-mate is reading or answering a question, do not -raise hands until he has finished. - -7. Do not “fuss” with pencils, strings, pins, or anything else when -you ought to give your whole attention to your lesson. - -8. When your hands are not occupied with books or other things, as -directed by a teacher, they should be clasped in your lap. - -9. If you have a desk-mate, give him his full share of seat, desk, -and shelf. - -10. When you pass directly in front of your school-mates, say -“Excuse me.” - -11. Do not stare at strangers who enter the school-room. - -12. Do not slide down in your seat nor lounge in a school-room. - -13. When you stand to recite, stand erect, without leaning against -the desk. Stand on both feet. - -14. Do not swing the feet, nor scrape them on the floor, nor keep -them in constant motion. - -15. Always be provided with sponge or slate-cloth. - -16. Hand a book right side up. - -17. In handing a pointer, pencil, or pen, hand the blunt end. - -18. Never call from the outside to a pupil in a school-room. - -19. Do not call from the school-room to some one outside. - -20. Do not look in at windows of a school-room. - -21. Always rap before entering any school-room but your own, or any -teacher’s office. - -22. Do not chew gum in school. - -23. Do not eat in school. - - _Note._--When these “reminders” are given to young pupils they - should be in the form of short lessons, and the thought should - be brought out by relating incidents and by questioning as in - illustrative lessons. - - - - -Chapter XIV. - -_PERSONAL HABITS._ - - -_Note._--These directions, although exceedingly important, are not, -in many cases, agreeable topics of conversation. Therefore, in -giving them, teachers must use their good taste and discretion in -deciding whether to give arbitrarily or not. When they are given -without comment they should be impressed on the memory of the child -by calling for frequent repetitions of items, and by patient and -continued enforcement of directions, whenever the occasion presents -itself. The connection between the direction and the spirit of -kindness should be traced whenever it is possible to do so. Lessons -on manners in school may be taken as a guide when it is thought -best to enlarge upon any item. Whether or not a lesson be given to -the younger children on the importance of attending to personal -habits may be left to the discretion of a teacher. - - -LESSON 7. - -=Purpose.=--To show the necessity of attention to personal habits. - -=Method.=--An item read with or without comment. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Although personal habits are not pleasant topics of conversation, -it seems necessary to give them some consideration. Many young -people indulge in certain practices that are disagreeable and -impolite, perhaps not so much from lack of knowledge of what is -proper as from thoughtlessness and from not appreciating the -importance of giving these matters due attention. Young people -should realize that these matters, although seemingly trifling, -are sufficient to show whether they have been accustomed to polite -society or not. There is nothing which tells more quickly. Minute -attention to personal habits gives one an air of refinement and -attractiveness which can be gained in no other way. - - -SUGGESTIONS FOR INSTRUCTION RELATING TO PERSONAL HABITS. - -1. Whatever has been said in reference to cleanliness in school -applies out of school as well. Cleanliness is a pretty certain sign -of good breeding. Every consideration of health and good taste and -refinement urges to cleanliness. Never think to hide uncleanliness. -If your habits are not neat, it will be known. - -2. Never neglect the details of the toilet. Such toilet offices -as cleaning the nails, the ears, the nose, are proper only in the -privacy of one’s apartment. The nails should not be bitten. It -destroys their beauty, and is an impolite and unhealthy habit. - -3. Many people have a habit of continually feeling of the face or -hair. This is not a mark of refinement of manners, and should not -be indulged in. “Fussing” with anything, twirling things, drumming, -should be avoided. When the hands are not necessarily employed, -they should be kept quiet. - -4. The feet should not be kept constantly and unnecessarily in -motion, nor should they be brought into notice when possible to -avoid it. Young ladies should not sit with the feet extended and -crossed. No one should sit with the feet on the rounds of a chair. -Tapping on the floor with the foot is not in good form. - -5. Spitting is a disgusting habit. Avoid it whenever it is -possible. Never give attention or refer to a sore on the face or -hands when others are present. Yawning and stretching in company -are considered rude. Hiccoughing and sneezing should be avoided, if -possible. - -6. The mouth should be kept closed, unless there is some good -reason for opening it. One who has a habit of keeping the mouth -open continually is considered weak mentally, if not physically. - -7. Incessant smiling or laughing is silly and disagreeable. Smiling -or laughing is allowable when there is something to laugh at. -Giggling is unpardonable. Hearty laughter is allowable in some -places, but boisterous laughter never. As a general thing the -countenance should be kept in repose. This implies neither a silly -nor a stern expression, but one indicative of kindness and common -sense. - -8. A loud or otherwise disagreeable voice is not a mark of the best -manners. If such a voice is natural, it may be trained and toned -down as in singing. A person of real refinement may have a peculiar -voice, but not a disagreeably loud one. Humming is disagreeable and -impolite. - -9. Boys should not carry their hands in their pockets. Boys should -not whistle when it will disturb or annoy any one. - - - - -Chapter XV. - -_MANNERS IN PUBLIC._ - - -LESSON 8. - -=Purpose.=--To specify some particulars of street manners. - -=Method.=--Item read with or without comment. - - -_The Lesson._ - -No polite person will indulge in loud or boisterous conduct on the -street. Loud talk or laughter is very ill-mannered. Only a quiet -demeanor is allowable, and one who indulges in any other is guilty -of rudeness. A complaint often made against pupils is that they -are inclined to be rude and selfish in not giving those whom they -meet their due share of the walk in passing. Oftentimes boys in -their play are so heedless as to jostle against those passing on -the sidewalk. This is selfish and rude. If it happens accidentally, -suitable apologies should be made. - -Questions.--In what tone of voice should one speak in the street? -What does loud laughter in the street indicate? What demeanor is -allowable? What fault is found with the manners of pupils on the -street? What are your own observations in the matter? What are your -criticisms? - - -SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTION. - -In going to a place of amusement or entertainment it is not polite -to performers or audience to arrive late. Arrive in season, take -your seat quietly, and remain quiet and attentive throughout the -whole entertainment. If there is any delay before the entertainment -begins, the time should not be spent in loud laughing or talking. -Nothing should be done to attract attention. Eating candy, nuts, or -anything else at a place of entertainment is not in good form. - -Too much cannot be said against talking or whispering or moving -about when an entertainment is in progress. It shows either a lack -of knowledge as to what is proper, or a disregard of propriety. -It is also a rudeness to the performers, and a great source of -annoyance to those who wish to listen. If the entertainment does -not prove interesting, it is still the part of a lady or gentleman -to remain through it all and to give respectful attention. It -is very impolite to leave the place before the entertainment is -concluded, in order to avoid passing out with the crowd. - -Loud and long continued applause is impolite. It is proper to show -pleasure if the entertainment pleases, but it must be done without -boisterousness. - -Rapping on the floor with canes, stamping of feet, whistling, etc., -are insults, and if continued should receive the attention of a -policeman. - -It is a sign of good breeding to be in church before the service -begins. If unavoidably late, enter very quietly, between parts of -the service. Never whisper or laugh in church. It is irreverent -and ill-bred. Never look around when people enter. Never be guilty -of rudeness or boisterousness in a church, whether on Sunday or -other days. Always show a proper respect for the place. - -In your own church be polite to strangers. If it seems to be your -place to do so, show them to a seat. Let no peculiarity of dress -or manner on the part of strangers keep you from showing them -any civility in church. In attending a church not your own be -respectful in your conduct. Do not show curiosity nor ridicule -observances that may seem peculiar. - - -REMINDERS. - -In giving these to the pupils seek to arouse discussion. - -1. When walking on the sidewalk, if you meet a person, keep to the -right of the walk. - - “’Tis a rule of the land that when travelers meet - In high-way or by-way, in alley or street, - On foot or in wagon, by day or by night, - Each favor the other and turn to the right.” - -2. It is polite to recognize friends and acquaintances on the -street. It is a custom of gentlemen to take off their hats when -friends are met. They should take off their hats to gentlemen as -well as to ladies. Both boys and girls should show special respect -to any old person they may meet. The salutation should always be in -a pleasant and friendly tone of voice. The face should show respect -to acquaintances, and cordiality to friends. The name should be -added to the salutation, as “Good-morning, Mr. A.” Never give -the salutation as if it were a question. Never greet any one by -“Halloa.” - -3. If a gentleman is walking or driving with a lady acquaintance, -he should take off his hat to any lady whom she recognizes. - -4. When a lady accidentally drops anything in the street, any -gentleman near, whether an acquaintance or not, should pick it up -and hand it to her. The lady should not fail to acknowledge the -courtesy. As the gentleman passes on, he should touch his hat to -the lady. This civility of picking up things or assisting in any -way should be shown to elderly and infirm people by girls as well -as by boys. - -5. It is impolite to turn and look at people after they have -passed. It is rude to stare at them if peculiar in dress or manner. -Special care should be taken not to stare at the deformed or -unfortunate. Put yourself in their places and think how you would -like to be treated. - -6. It is considered impolite for people to gather in groups or -crowds on the sidewalk and to obstruct the way. If two people meet -who wish to converse with each other, one should turn and walk in -the direction in which the other is going. It is not considered -proper to stop for conversation on the street. - -7. It is not the custom of well-bred people to chew gum, nor to eat -fruit, nuts, or anything else, on the street. - -8. One of the rudest things a boy or girl can do is to call out -to a teacher or other person on the street. It is only the most -ill-bred who will do it. The law can punish for it. - -9. If a stranger inquires the way, take great pains to direct him, -even if it requires some effort. - -10. When in street cars or steam cars, if seats are lacking, it -is the rule that gentlemen give up their seats to ladies. Ladies -should not fail to thank gentlemen for this kindness. - -Whenever any attention is shown a lady, such as opening or closing -a window, taking bundles from the racks, etc., the lady should -politely acknowledge it, and the gentleman should touch his hat as -he turns away. - -No one should occupy more room than is necessary, if by so doing -others are deprived of a seat. - - - - -Chapter XVI. - -_TABLE MANNERS._ - - -LESSON 9. - -=Purpose.=--To show the importance of good table manners. - -=Method.=--An item read with or without comment or questions asked. - - -_The Lesson._ - -Perhaps the question of _how_ to eat is not of quite the importance -as _what_ to eat, but in some particulars pertaining to the laws -of health the two are of equal rank. _How_ to eat is of much -more importance than many young people think, inasmuch as it -is a certain test of delicacy and refinement. If a person eats -immoderately fast, no one truly refined will set him down as a -gentleman. If one defies the regulations which society has made -relative to table manners, he is classed as decidedly ill-bred -or ignorant. It is well to study the etiquette of the table, and -to put in use those practices that have been decided by the best -society as being proper. - -Questions.--Should the rules of society as to table manners be -disregarded? What does a lack of good table manners indicate? Are -table manners indicative of character? - - -SUBJECTS FOR ADDITIONAL LESSONS. - -_Deference to the Lady of the House at Table._ - -=Suggestions.=--Do not be late at the home table. Never be late -when a guest. Do not take your seat at the table until the lady of -the house takes hers, nor rise from the table until she gives the -signal. If necessary to leave the table before the meal is over, -ask to be excused of the one presiding. - - -_Polite Phraseology of the Table._ - -=Suggestions.=--When it is desired that any article on the table be -passed, a servant should be asked, if there is one near. If not, -the request should be made of some one at the table, as follows: -“Please pass the bread,” “I would thank you for the bread,” “Will -you be kind enough to pass the bread?” etc. - -When offered anything at the table, the acceptance should be -accompanied by “Thank you.” If anything is declined, it should be -with “No, I thank you,” or “Not any, I thank you.” - - -_Selfishness at Table._ - -=Suggestions.=--To take the best when there is any choice in the -food is to show a very selfish disposition. This does not apply -when urged to do so, but to seem to wish the best is inexcusable. - - -REMINDERS. - -1. Sit reasonably near the table, neither too near nor too far -away. Never place the elbows on the table. Do not sit so far away -as to be obliged to lean forward. Do not bend over the plate. Do -not spread the elbows when cutting meat, etc. - -2. Young people should wait patiently and quietly until the older -ones at table have been served. While waiting to be served, the -knife or fork or napkin ring, or any other table article, should be -left untouched. The hands should be quietly folded in the lap until -one is served. The napkin may be spread over the lap when one first -sits down at the table. Gentlemen do not now tuck the napkin under -the chin. - -3. It is proper to begin eating as soon as served, although there -should be no indecorous haste. An exception to this rule is that no -one should begin to eat the dessert until all are served. - -4. Do not help yourself first to anything on the table. Never put -your own knife, fork, or spoon into the food except as it has been -served to you. It is rude to reach across the table or to rise and -reach in order to help yourself. If servants are not near, ask -politely of some one at the table that the dish be passed. - -5. Rapid eating is impolite and unhealthy. The mouth should not be -filled too full, and the food should be thoroughly chewed. Do not -chew the food so as to be heard. Do not smack the lips in eating. -Do not draw in the breath when eating soup, drinking milk, tea, -etc. Be careful not to show the food in your mouth. Do not attempt -to eat the last drop of soup nor the last morsel of food on the -plate. - -6. The knife is used in cutting up the food, but it should not -convey the food to the mouth. The fork should be used for this -purpose. There is a proper way of holding knife and fork which can -best be learned by observing some one who does it properly. Soup -should be eaten from the side of the spoon. - -7. When drinking tea or coffee, drink from the cup and not from the -saucer. When drinking from a goblet or tumbler, be careful not to -tip them too much. It is not in good form to throw the head back -and invert the tumbler. It is not well to drink much water while -eating. - -8. If necessary to eject anything from the mouth while eating, use -the fork in conveying it from the mouth to the plate. Fruit stones -may be removed with the fingers and placed upon the plate. - -9. When salt is taken from the salt-cellar, it should be put on the -plate and not on the table-cloth. Vegetables should be eaten with a -fork, if possible, rather than with a spoon. When small dishes are -used in serving vegetables, fruit, etc., they should not be taken -in the hand, but left on the table. - -10. It is a disputed question what to do with the knife and fork -when the plate is passed for a second supply. It seems the better -plan not to leave them on the plate, as they are liable to fall -off or to be in the way, but to hold them in the right hand, or to -place them on the table in such a manner as not to soil the cloth. - -11. Do not use a tooth-pick in public. It is a common practice, -but not with the best-bred people. Never indulge in the disgusting -practice of removing bits of food from the teeth with the tongue or -fingers. The teeth should receive attention in private. - - - - -Chapter XVII. - -_MANNERS IN SOCIETY._ - - -SUGGESTIONS FOR LESSONS. - -1. When a request is to be made, no matter how slight, it should -be given in the form of a request and not of a command. Such -expressions as “Please” and “Will you be so kind?” should be very -frequently used. When a request has been complied with, “Thank you” -should never be forgotten. - -2. Gentlemen should not remain seated when there are ladies or -older people standing in the room. No young people should remain -seated when by so doing they oblige older people to stand. -Young people should not occupy the easiest chairs nor the most -comfortable places in a room when older people are present. - -3. Whispering in company is ill-mannered. Laughing at something -not understood by the whole company, or at least by all who would -notice the laughing, is very impolite. Exchanging glances or -meaning smiles is rude. Boisterous laughter is always rude. - -4. If asked to sing or play or to contribute in any legitimate way -to the entertainment of company, one should, if possible, comply -with the request without waiting to be urged. When one is trying to -entertain a company, the company should give respectful attention, -never annoying the performer by whispering or talking or moving -about. When games are proposed, unless there is some reason for -not doing so, every one who is invited to join in them should do -so with right good will. Good manners are based on kindness, and a -kind heart will lead any one to contribute as much as possible to -the enjoyment of all. - -5. One should give respectful and kindly attention to another who -is talking to him. No matter if the conversation is not of great -interest, it should be listened to without interruption. This is -especially true when elderly people talk to those younger. When it -is necessary to discontinue the conversation, one should ask to -be excused. When two people begin to talk at the same time, each -should be ready with an “Excuse me,” or “I beg pardon,” to yield -the privilege of speaking first to the other. - -6. It is a mark of good manners to show courtesy to servants or to -any in humble stations in life. A polite request is always better -than a stern command. Whoever shows disregard of the feelings of -a servant or one in humble station, gives unmistakable proof of -ill-breeding. - -7. It is courteous to commend what is commendable. One should take -pains to express commendation in words to the one who deserves it. -This is really no more than common politeness. Many find it easy to -speak words of blame, but do not seem to think what gratification a -word of deserved praise affords. - - -REMINDERS. - -1. When asked a question to be answered by Yes or No it is -considered more polite to say “Yes, Mrs. A.” than “Yes, ma’am.” -“Yes, sir” and “No, sir” are allowable, but “Yes, Mr. A.” is -better. When something is said, and the one to whom it is said does -not hear or understand, the following questions are proper: “Sir?” -“I beg pardon,” “What did you say, Mrs. A.?” When a person’s name -is spoken before a question is asked, the response should be “Sir?” -or “Yes, Mrs. A.?” - -2. When entering a private house gentlemen should remove their -hats. Any one should remove rubbers. Umbrella, hat, overcoat, or -waterproof should be left in the hall. - -3. In entering a parlor, host and hostess should be first sought -out and spoken to. If the family only be present, the one entering -may properly shake hands with all. This is partly a matter of -choice, but if it is either a formal or an informal call (not a -business call) it is highly proper. When the company is large, it -is unnecessary. The same direction applies in leaving. - -4. When in company or when making a call, lounging or rocking -should not be indulged in. Sitting with the chair tipped in any -way, or with the feet on the rounds of the chair, is not allowable. -Ladies should not sit with the feet or knees crossed. Gentlemen -should not sit with the feet elevated. The feet should remain on -the floor, and should be as inconspicuous as possible. No one -should sit with the feet far apart. - -5. Fumbling or fussing with the watch-chain or with a ribbon or -anything else should be avoided; also drumming with the fingers or -twirling things. When the hands are not necessarily occupied they -should be kept quiet. The same may be said of the feet. Swinging -the feet or keeping them in motion or prominently in sight is not -proper. Constant and unnecessary motion of hands or feet gives one -an appearance of restlessness which is not at all conducive to -elegance of manner. Repose of manner should be cultivated. - -6. Avoid passing directly in front of people when possible. It is -better, however, to pass in front of others with a “Pardon me,” or -“Excuse me,” than to crowd behind them. A gentleman should allow a -lady to pass through a door before him, holding it open for her, if -necessary. Gentlemen should go up-stairs before a lady, and behind -her in coming down. - -7. It is rude to stare at people in company, especially if they -are peculiar in any way. Seem not to notice any deformity or any -peculiarity of dress or manner. Remember the Golden Rule. - -8. Demonstrations of affection are out of place in company or -anywhere else in public. Girls should not sit or walk with their -arms about each other, or clasp hands, or lean against each other. -A gushing manner is silly and impolite. - -9. Reading to one’s self in company is not excusable. Reading aloud -is still worse, unless by special request. - -10. When strangers are to be presented to each other, the -directions are as follows: Gentlemen should be presented to ladies -(as, Miss B., allow me to present Mr. C.), young men to elderly -men, young women to elderly women. People who have been introduced -should make some conversation with each other, and not turn rudely -away without a word. - -11. When people make calls they should inquire at the door for -those whom they wish to see. They should also send in their names -if unknown to the one who comes to the door. When callers enter a -room, persons in the room not inquired for should soon leave. No -member of the family should enter the room when one is receiving -calls unless it is very necessary, and then an apology should be -offered. - - - - -Chapter XVIII. - -_MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS._ - - -1. Never enter a private room without rapping. Never look over a -person’s shoulder when he is reading or writing. Never read what is -designed for another person only. Be courteous in thought as well -as in act. - -2. Take good care of borrowed articles, and return them in -reasonable time. Never lend borrowed articles. It is proper for -the one who borrows to return the article in person or to send by -a servant. To compel the owner to send for his property is a gross -violation of good manners. - -3. When necessary to make an inquiry of a stranger it should be -prefaced with “Excuse me,” “Pardon me,” or “Will you kindly tell -me?” - -4. In extending invitations for visits or parties it is proper to -state the time definitely. Punctuality in keeping all engagements -is a mark of good breeding in society as well as in business. - -5. When gentlemen are walking with ladies it is a proper courtesy -to offer to relieve them of their parcels, parasols, shawls, etc. - -6. When gifts or favors have been received, prompt acknowledgment -should be made. The slightest favor deserves acknowledgment. - - -SUGGESTIVE STORIES, ANECDOTES, FABLES, AND POEMS. - - -1. LITTLE JACK. - - There was one little Jack, not very long back, - And ’tis said to his lasting disgrace - That he never was seen with his hands at all clean, - Nor yet ever clean was his face. - - His friends were much hurt to see so much dirt, - And often and well did they scour! - But all was in vain, he was dirty again - Before they had done it an hour. - - When to wash he was sent, he reluctantly went - With water to splash himself o’er, - But he left the black streaks all over his cheeks, - And made them look worse than before. - - The pigs in the dirt couldn’t be more expert - Than he was at grubbing about; - And the people have thought the gentleman ought - To be made with four legs and a snout. - - The idle and bad may, like to this lad, - Be dirty and black, to be sure; - But good boys are seen to be decent and clean, - Altho’ they are ever so poor. - - --_Jane Taylor._ - - -2. THE BOY AND THE SPARROWS. - -A boy once found a nest of young sparrows, and put them into his -hat. He then set the hat on his head, thinking no one would know -what was under it. As he walked through the streets, instead of -lifting his hat to bow to people, he held it fast upon his head. -This made everybody wonder. At last one man said, “Let me see -if his hat has grown to his head.” Away went the sparrows, as he -lifted the hat from the boy’s head. Everybody laughed; and now if -a boy does not lift his hat when he meets any one, people say, -“Perhaps he has sparrows under his hat.”--_Selected._ - - -3. THE UNHAPPY BOY. - -Once there was a king who had a little boy whom he loved. He gave -him beautiful rooms to live in, and pictures and toys and books. He -gave him a pony to ride, and a row-boat on a lake, and servants. -But for all this the young prince was not happy. He wore a frown -wherever he went, and was always wishing for something he did not -have. At length a magician came to court. He said to the king, “I -can make your son happy.” So he took the boy into a private room -and wrote something on a piece of paper. Next he gave the boy a -candle and told him to light it and hold it under the paper and -see what he could read. The boy did as he had been told, and white -letters on the paper turned into a beautiful blue. They formed -these words:-- - - _Do a kindness to some one every day._ - -The prince made use of the secret and became the happiest boy in -the kingdom.--_Selected._ - - -4. WHICH WAS THE GENTLEMAN? - -Master Frank Amory went to the picnic, and so did Jimmy Bell. -Frank’s father was a rich man. Jimmy’s father was a day-laborer. -Frank wore handsome new clothes, and Jimmy’s knees and elbows were -patched, his hat was torn, and he had no shoes. There was only one -barrel of ice-water, with one drinking-cup; and as it was a hot day -there was a crowd around the barrel most of the time. A half dozen -girls had just come to get a drink when Frank at the head of a file -of boys came running up, and snatching the cup rudely began to -drink. - -“Shame on you, Frank!” said one of the girls. “Don’t you know you -always ought to let girls drink first?” - -“I don’t know as girls are any better than I am,” said Frank, as he -started off again. - -Not long after, Jimmy and some other boys had come to the barrel, -when shy little Minnie Carey came up. “Wait boys!” said Jimmy, -dipping out a cup of water. “Let Minnie drink first.” And he very -politely handed her the cup. Minnie drank, and thanked him as she -handed it back again.--_Selected._ - - -5. THE ELDER BROTHER. - - The sun was set. The twilight dim had gathered, - And ’gainst the window-pane - The fierce north wind sent sudden spiteful flurries - Of mingled sleet and rain. - - My easy-chair was drawn before the fire, - Benny was on my knee, - When low he whispered, “I don’t see, Aunt Dolly, - When folks are small like me, - - “How they get on without a nice big brother. - Why, even Tommie Stead-- - Who bullies all my mates--don’t dare touch me; - He’s afraid, you see, of Ned.” - - Just then he shyly pointed o’er his shoulder - With such a proud, fond look - At his tall brother Edward sitting near us, - Intent upon a book. - - “He carries the umbrella when ’tis raining, - And gives the most to me; - And helps me find the very far off places - In the geography, - - “And ‘splains’ the sums and makes the fractions easy.” - Here Benny heaved a sigh. - “I don’t like riffemtic; but Ned says, ‘Benny, - Be brave, my lad, and try.’” - - “He has long patience, and he’s very clever. - Why, once he made a cart, - And once he made a trap that caught a sparrow, - And ’cause it hurt my heart - - “To see the wild thing flutter, he soon freed it, - And smiled when off it fled; - And when I’m scared because it’s dark or lightens, - He takes me in his bed. - - “Our pastor said, last Sunday, that Lord Jesus - Up in the heavenly host, - Our elder brother is. It made me love him - Like my dear Ned--a’most.” - - The blue eyes closed. Perhaps the gentle sandman - Had touched the golden head; - For low it drooped. But smiles still curved the sweet lips; - He dreamed, perhaps, of “Ned.” - - --_Elisabeth Cumings._ - - -6. THE GNAT AND THE BULL. - -A gnat who had flown about until he was tired sat down to rest on -the horn of a bull. After sitting there a long time he thought he -would go home. So he made a loud buzzing noise and said to the bull: - -“Would you like to have me stay longer or shall I go now?” - -“Just as you please,” said the bull. “I did not know when you came, -and I am sure I shall not miss you when you go away.” - -Little people often think themselves of greatest consequence. - - --_Æsop._ - - -7. A REAL LADY. - -A porter, an aged man, was passing along one of our streets with a -heavy package on his shoulder, when he dropped his bale-hook and -it rolled off the sidewalk into the gutter. Two or three young men -standing near laughed at his misfortune, and offered no help. An -elegantly dressed lady passing, quietly stepped into the street, -and with her delicately gloved hand picked the bale-hook from -the gutter and handed it to the old man. In trying to thank her, -his hat fell off and rolled into the gutter. Again she stepped -into the street, picked up his hat, and handed that to him. “God -bless you,” said he, and so the old man was made happier, the lady -was made happier, and the young men received a lesson which may -make their lives happier, if they have sense enough to act upon -it.--_Selected._ - - -8. CAUTIONS. - - If you your lips would keep from slips, - Five things observe with care:-- - To whom you speak, of whom you speak, - And how, and when, and where. - - If you your ears would keep from jeers, - These things keep meekly hid,-- - _Myself_ and _I_, and _mine_ and _my_, - And how _I_ do or did. - - -9. LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION. - -A gentleman advertised for a boy, and nearly fifty applicants -presented themselves. Out of that number he selected one and -dismissed the rest. “I should like to know,” said a friend, -“on what ground you selected that boy, who had not a single -recommendation.” “You are mistaken,” said the gentleman. “He has a -great many. He wiped his feet when he came in, and closed the door -after him, showing that he was careful. He gave his seat instantly -to that lame old man, showing that he was thoughtful. He took -off his cap when he came in, and answered my questions promptly, -showing that he was gentlemanly. He picked up a book which I had -purposely placed on the floor, and replaced it on the table; and -he waited quietly for his turn instead of pushing and crowding, -showing he was orderly and honorable. When I talked to him, I -noticed that his clothes were brushed, his hair in order. When he -wrote his name, I noticed that his finger-nails were clean. Don’t -you call these things letters of recommendation?”--_Selected._ - - -10. A GENTLEMANLY LAD. - -My idea of a gentlemanly boy is a lad who treats every young woman -as he would like his sister to be treated, and every older woman as -he would wish his mother to be treated.--_Selected._ - - -11. A SERIES OF DON’TS. - -Don’t slight a boy because his home is plain and unpretending. -Abraham Lincoln’s home was a log-cabin. - -Don’t slight a boy because of the ignorance of his parents. -Shakespeare, the world’s poet, was the son of a man who was unable -to write his own name. - -Don’t slight a boy because he chooses a humble trade. The author of -Pilgrim’s Progress was a tinker. - -Don’t slight a boy because of physical disability. Milton was blind. - -Don’t slight a boy because of dullness in his lessons. Hogarth, the -celebrated painter and engraver, was a stupid boy at his books. - -Don’t slight any one. Not alone because some day they may far -outstrip you in the race of life, but because it is neither right, -nor kind, nor polite.--_Selected._ - - -12. FAMILY INTERCOURSE. - -Family intimacy should never make brothers and sisters forget -to be polite and sympathizing to each other. Those who contract -thoughtless and rude habits towards members of their own families -will be rude and thoughtless towards all the world. But let the -family intercourse be true, tender, and affectionate, and the -manners of all uniformly gentle and considerate, and the members -of a family thus trained will carry into the world and society the -habits of their childhood. They will require in their associates -similar habits.--_Silvio Pellico._ - - -13. THE DRUM AND THE VASE OF SWEET HERBS. - -A drum was once boasting to a vase of sweet herbs in this way: -“Listen to me! My voice is loud and can be heard far off. I stir -the hearts of men so that when they hear my bold rearing they march -out bravely to battle.” - -The vase spoke no words, but gave out a fine, sweet perfume that -filled the air, and seemed to say: I cannot speak, and it is not -well to be proud, but I am full of good things that are hidden -within me, and that gladly come forth to give cheer and comfort. -But you, you have nothing in you but noise, and you must be struck -to make you give that out. I would not boast if I were you.--_Æsop._ - - -14. LOVE. - - The night has a thousand eyes, - And the day but one; - Yet the light of the bright world dies - With the dying sun. - - The mind has a thousand eyes, - And the heart but one; - Yet the light of a whole life dies - When love is done. - - --_F. W. Bourdillon._ - - -15. TREATMENT OF THE AGED. - -A play was to be performed at the principal theatre of Athens, -and the seats were soon taken. When the theatre was full, an old -man came in and looked around for a seat. He saw a party of young -Athenians beckoning to him. In order to get to them he had to climb -over seats and push his way through the crowd, and when at last he -reached them, they sat down, and, instead of giving him the seat he -had expected, took up all the room, leaving the old man standing. -In this theatre were some seats fitted up for strangers. These were -filled by young Spartans, who were much displeased at the conduct -of the Athenians, and beckoned to the old man to come to them. -When he was near them, they all arose and received him with great -respect. As the whole assembly saw this they burst into a shout -of applause. The old man then said, “The Athenians _know_ what is -right, but the Spartans practise it.”--_Selected._ - - -16. CIVILITY TO STRANGERS. - -It was through his civility to two strangers that Mr. Winans -of Philadelphia is said to have obtained, some years ago, his -invitation to go to St. Petersburg and manufacture locomotives -for the Russian Czar. The Russian agent had been shown with -indifference through the larger establishments of Philadelphia, -but on their coming to Mr. Winans, who owned a third or fourth -rate factory, he took so much pains to show all its parts and -workings, and was so patient in his explanations and answers to -their inquiries, that within a year he was surprised when asked -to transfer his works to Russia. He went, and accumulated a large -fortune. - - -17. A GOOD RULE. - -When you rise in the morning, form the resolution to make the day -a happy one to a fellow-creature. It is easily done: a left-off -garment to the man who needs it; a kind word to the sorrowful; an -encouraging word to the striving; trifles, in themselves as light -as air, will do at least for the twenty-four hours. And if you are -old, rest assured it will send you gently and happily down the -stream of time to eternity. By the most simple arithmetical sum -look at the result. If you send only one person happily through -the day, that is three hundred and sixty-five in the course of a -year. And suppose you live forty years after you begin that course, -you have made fourteen thousand six hundred persons happy, at all -events, for a time. - - -18. CHARACTER. - -Nothing can compensate for the lack of manliness in a man, -and womanliness in a woman. The man may be a capable business -man, an eloquent speaker, and accomplished scholar; but if he -lacks manliness, he remains only half a man. The woman may be -intelligent, accomplished, refined; but if she lacks womanliness, -she lacks everything. In some of the Old-World universities there -are courses in “Humanity.” It is a pity that the teaching of -humanity in the wider sense of that which makes man man, and woman -woman, does not occupy a larger place in the catalogues of our -schools and colleges.--_Dr. Trumbull._ - - -19. HONOR. - -Mr. Smiles in one of his admirable books says that Wellington was -once offered half a million for a State secret, not of any special -value to the government, but the keeping of which was a matter of -honor. “It appears you are capable of keeping a secret,” he said -to the official. “Certainly,” he replied. “And so am I,” said the -general, and bowed him out. - - -20. CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS. - -Sir Ralph Abercrombie, when mortally wounded, found under his head -the blanket of a private soldier, placed there to ease his dying -pains. “Whose blanket is this?” “Duncan Roy’s.” “See that Duncan -Roy gets his blanket this very night,” said Sir Ralph, and died -without its comfort. - - -21. TRUTHFULNESS. - -Calvert says, “A gentleman may brush his own shoes or clothes, or -mend or make them, or roughen his hands with the helve, or foul -them with dye-work or iron-work; but he must not foul his mouth -with a lie.” - - -22. DELICACY. - -The gentleman never _sees_ deformity. He will not talk to a beggar -of his rags, nor boast of his health before the sick, nor speak -of his wealth amongst the poor; he will not seem to be fortunate -amongst the hapless, nor make any show of his virtues before the -vicious.--_T. T. Munger._ - - - - -Memory Gems. - - - 1. Hearts like doors can open with ease - To very, very little keys; - And ne’er forget that they are these: - “I thank you, sir,” and “If you please.” - - 2. Good boys and girls should never say, - “I will,” and “Give me these.” - Oh, no, that never is the way, - But “Mother, if you please.” - - 3. To do to others as I would - That they should do to me - Will make me honest, kind, and good, - As children ought to be. - - 4. I know a little girl, and who she is - I’ll tell you by-and-by; - When mother says, “Do this” or “that,” - She says, “What for?” and “Why?” - She’d be a better girl by far, - If she would say, “I’ll try.” - - 5. Be kind, little children, - To those who are poor, - And ne’er against sorrow - And want shut the door. - - 6. See, mamma, ’tis half-past eight; - I must haste, or I’ll be late. - Teacher says, “Make this your rule, - Never to be late at school.” - - 7. A little child may have a loving heart, - Most dear and sweet, - And willing feet. - A little child may have a happy hand, - Full of kind deeds - For many needs. - A little child may have a gentle voice - And pleasant tongue - For every one. - - 8. Be kind and be gentle - To those who are old, - For dearer is kindness, - And better, than gold. - -9. True politeness consists in making every one happy about us. - - 10. Deal with another as you’d have - Another deal with you; - What you’re unwilling to receive - Be sure you never do. - -11. Good manners cannot be put on at pleasure, like an outside -coat, but must belong to us. - - 12. Children, do you love each other? - Are you always kind and true? - Do you always do to others - As you’d have them do to you? - Are you gentle to each other? - Are you careful day by day - Not to give offence by action, - Or by anything you say? - - 13. In the school-room while we stay, - There is work enough to do; - Study, study through the day, - Keep our lessons all in view. - - 14. By-and-By, is a very bad boy, - Shun him at once and forever; - For they who travel with By-and-By - Soon come to the house of Never. - - 15. Five minutes late, and the school is begun. - What are rules for if you break every one? - Just as the scholars are seated and quiet, - You hurry in with disturbance and riot. - Why did you loiter so long by the way? - All of the classes are formed for the day. - Hurry and pick up your reader and slate; - Room at the foot for the scholar that’s late. - - --_Mrs. M. L. Rayne._ - -16. Give a boy address and accomplishments, and you give him the -mastery of palaces and fortunes, wherever he goes.--_Emerson._ - -17. Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.--_Emerson._ - -18. True courtesy is real kindness kindly expressed.--_Dr. -Witherspoon._ - -19. Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.--_St. Paul._ - -20. The gentleman never sees deformity.--_Munger._ - -21. Sidney, at the battle of Zutphen, handed a cup of water for -which he longed with dying thirst to the wounded soldier beside -him, and said: “He needs it more than I.” - -22. If one is centrally true, kind, honorable, delicate, and -considerate, he will almost, without fail, have manners that will -take him into any circle where culture and taste prevail over -folly.--_Munger._ - -23. A beautiful behavior is the finest of the fine arts.--_Emerson._ - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE - - Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been - corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within - the text and consultation of external sources. - - Except for those changes noted below, all misspellings in the text, - and inconsistent or archaic usage, have been retained. For example, - table-manners, table manners; playground, play-ground; monitorship; - contrariwise. - - Table of Contents: - Pg 7, Missing entry ‘Practical training in manners ... 18’ inserted. - Pg 8, ‘treatment of schoolmates’ replaced by ‘treatment of - school-mates’. - Pg 8, Numbering 1-4 inserted for the four entries listed for page 43. - Pg 9, ‘Subjects suggested ... 47’ replaced by ‘“Keys” suggested ... 47’. - Pg 9, Missing entry ‘_Subjects for additional lessons_’ inserted, - and the three subject items also inserted below it, all for page 49. - Pg 9, page number ‘55’ added to line ending ‘... who make inquiries,’. - Pg 10, Missing entry ‘_Subjects for Additional Lessons for Both - Grades._’ inserted and the two subject items also inserted below it, - both for page 63. - Pg 11, ‘Practical training in manners, 90’ replaced by ‘Miscellaneous - items, 90’. - - Main text: - Pg 4, ‘courtesy employes’ replaced by ‘courtesy employs’. - Pg 5, ‘good breading’ replaced by ‘good breeding’. - Pg 24, ‘happpened to see’ replaced by ‘happened to see’. - Pg 24, ‘Note.’ has been italicized for consistency. - Pg 28, ‘he was empoyled’ replaced by ‘he was employed’. - Pg 28, ‘gave you chair’ replaced by ‘gave your chair’. - Pg 40, ‘sigh of good’ replaced by ‘sign of good’. - Pg 49, ‘320.’ at the end of a paragraph has been retained. The - meaning is not clear. - Pg 49, ‘Additional Lesssons’ replaced by ‘Additional Lessons’. - Pg 50, ‘108.’ at the end of a paragraph has been retained. The - meaning is not clear. - Pg 56, ‘show the necesssity’ replaced by ‘show the necessity’. - Pg 63, ‘Bur first you’ replaced by ‘But first you’. - Pg 68, ‘propor attentions’ replaced by ‘proper attentions’. - Pg 87, ‘it is considred’ replaced by ‘it is considered’. - Pg 89, ‘names if unkown’ replaced by ‘names if unknown’. - Pg 100, ‘rest assurred’ replaced by ‘rest assured’. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of How to Teach Manners in the School-room, by -Julia M. 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