path: root/54149-0.txt

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 54149 ***

Transcriber’s notes

This transcription uses the following symbols for typographical features
in the source document: _text_ represents italicised text; =text= bold
face text, ^{text} superscript text, ~text~ spaced-out text, and ^text^
blackletter text. Small capitals have been replaced by all capitals.

More transcriber’s notes may be found at the end of this text.




  A
  HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.


  PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY
  EDINBURGH AND LONDON


[Illustration:

A. Concanen, del. et lith.

Stannard & Son, imp.

MODERN ADVERTISING: A RAILWAY STATION IN 1874.]


  A
  HISTORY OF ADVERTISING
  ^From the Earliest Times^.

  _ILLUSTRATED BY ANECDOTES, CURIOUS SPECIMENS, AND
  BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES._

  BY HENRY SAMPSON.

  [Illustration]

  WITH ILLUSTRATIONS AND FACSIMILES.

  ^London:^
  CHATTO AND WINDUS, PICCADILLY.
  1874.


  TO
  THE RIGHT HONOURABLE
  THOMAS MILNER GIBSON,
  IN HUMBLE RECOGNITION OF THE IMPORTANT SERVICES
  HE HAS RENDERED TO THE CAUSE OF
  _ADVERTISING,_
  AS WELL AS TO JOURNALISM GENERALLY,
  ^This Book^
  IS RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED,
  BY
  HIS OBEDIENT SERVANT,
  THE AUTHOR.




CONTENTS.


  CHAP.                                                     PAGE

  I.     INTRODUCTORY--NEWSPAPERS AND NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING    1
  II.    INTRODUCTORY--STREET AND GENERAL ADVERTISING         19
  III.   ANCIENT FORMS OF ADVERTISING                         33
  IV.    MEDIÆVAL AND OTHER VARIETIES OF ADVERTISING          43
  V.     NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING FORESHADOWED--ITS EARLIEST
         USE--HOUGHTON’S LESSONS                              61
  VI.    DEVELOPMENT OF ADVERTISING                           94
  VII.   CONCLUSION OF SEVENTEENTH CENTURY                   120
  VIII.  EARLY PART OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY                    142
  IX.    MIDDLE OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY                        176
  X.     THE EDUCATION COMPLETED                             205
  XI.    CURIOUS AND ECCENTRIC ADVERTISEMENTS                240
  XII.   SWINDLES AND HOAXES                                 304
  XIII.  THE GREAT BOTTLE-TRICK SWINDLE                      365
  XIV.   QUACKS AND IMPOSTORS                                373
  XV.    GRAHAM AND HIS CELESTIAL BED                        411
  XVI.   LOTTERIES AND LOTTERY INSURANCE                     422
  XVII.  MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS AND AGENCIES             475
  XVIII. HANDBILLS, INSCRIPTIONS, ETC.                       510
  XIX.   AMERICAN AND COLONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS                556
  XX.    ADVERSARIA                                          597




PREFACE.


In presenting the following humble attempt at history-writing to the
reader, I am selfish enough to admit a preference for his tender mercy
rather than for his critical judgment. I would ask him to remember that
there are many almost insurmountable difficulties to be faced in the
accomplishment of a work like this, and a narrowed space adds to rather
than diminishes from their antagonistic power.

When the work was first proposed to me, it was imagined that the subject
could be fully disposed of in less than five hundred pages. I have
already gone considerably over that number, and feel that the charge of
incompleteness may still be brought against the book. But I also feel
that if I had extended it to five thousand pages, the charge could still
have been made, for with such a subject actual exhaustion cannot be
expected; and so, despite the great quantity of unused material I have
yet by me, I must rest satisfied with what I have done. I trust the
reader will be satisfied also.

Almost everybody has in the course of his lifetime discovered some sort
of a pet advertisement without which he considers no collection can be
complete. During the progress of this “history” I have received many
hundreds such--have received sufficient, with accompanying notes, to
fill a bigger volume than this--and I can therefore imagine every fresh
reader turning to look for his favourite, and, in the event of his
finding it not, condemning the book unconditionally. I hope that in the
event of a reconsideration some worthy representative will be found
occupying the missing one’s place. In like manner, and judging by my own
friends’ observations, I have found that almost every one would have
treated the “history” differently, not only from my way but from each
other’s. Every one would have done something wonderful with such a
wonderful subject. It will not be out of place perhaps, therefore, to
ask the reader to think, that because the system adopted has not been
that which would have suggested itself to him, it is not necessarily the
wrong one after all.

I have received much assistance during the time I have been at work, in
the way of hints and observations. For those which I have accepted, as
well as for those I have been compelled to reject, I hereby tender my
heartfelt thanks. Little in the way of so-called statistics of modern
advertisers will be found in the book, as I fancy it is better to be
silent than to make untrustworthy statements; and this remark will
particularly apply to the amounts of annual outlay generally published
in connection with the names of large advertising firms. My own
experience is that the firms or their managers are not aware of the
exact sums expended by them, or, if they are, do not feel inclined to
tell in anything but the vaguest manner. Another observation I have made
is, that extensive advertising is likely to result in a desire for the
exaggeration of facts--at all events, so far as the individual
advertisers themselves are concerned. That any firm, tradesmen,
manufacturers, agents, quacks, perfumers, patentees, or whatever they
may be, pay a settled annual sum, no more and no less, for advertising,
I do not believe now, whatever I may have done before commencing my
inquiries.

I have endeavoured as much as possible, and wherever practicable, to
make the advertisements tell their own story. At the same time I have
tried hard to prevent waste of space, and so far have, if in no other
way, succeeded. This is but little merit to claim, and if I am allowed
that, I shall be satisfied. Also, if my endeavour should lead to a
development of that laudable spirit of emulation so apparent nowadays
after the ice has been once broken, I shall be happy to supply any
fresh adventurer with copious material which has grown up during the
progress of this “history,” and which has been omitted only through lack
of room. As far as my judgment has allowed me, I have selected what
appeared best; other tastes might lead to other results. With this I
will take leave of a somewhat unpleasant and apparently egotistical
task; and in doing so beg to say that I trust to the reader’s kindness,
and hope he will overlook the blemishes of a hurried and certainly an
unpretentious work, which may, however, be found to contain a little
amusement and some amount of information.

  H. S.

  LONDON, _September 1874_.




  A
  HISTORY OF ADVERTISING.




CHAPTER I.

_INTRODUCTORY--NEWSPAPERS AND NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING._


It must be patent to every one who takes the least interest in the
subject, that the study of so important a branch of our present system
of commerce as advertising, with its rise and growth, cannot fail to be
full of interest. Indeed it is highly suggestive of amusement, as a
reference to any of our old newspapers, full as they are of quaint
announcements, untrammelled by the squeamishness of the present age,
will show. Advertising has, of course, within the last fifty years,
developed entirely new courses, and has become an institution differing
much from the arrangement in which, so far as our references show, it
first appeared in this country; its growth has been attended by an
almost entire revulsion of mode, and where we now get long or short
announcements by the hundred, dictated by a spirit of business, our
fathers received statements couched in a style of pure romance, which
fully compensated for their comparatively meagre proportions. Of course,
even in the present day, and in the most pure-minded papers, ignorance,
intolerance, and cupidity exhibit themselves frequently, often to the
amusement, but still more often to the annoyance and disgust, of
thinkers; but in the good old days, when a spade was a spade, and when
people did not seek to gloss over their weaknesses and frivolities, as
they do now, by a pretence of virtue and coldness, which, after all,
imposes only on the weak and credulous, advertisements gave a real
insight into the life of the people; and so, in the hope that our
researches will tend to dispel some of the mists which still hang over
the sayings and doings of folk who lived up to comparatively modern
days, we present this work to the curious reader.

It is generally assumed--though the assumption has no ground for
existence beyond that so common amongst us, that nothing exists of which
we are ignorant--that advertisements are of comparatively modern origin.
This idea has probably been fostered in the public mind by the fact that
so little trouble has ever been taken by encyclopædists to discover
anything about them; and as time begets difficulties in research, we are
almost driven to regard the first advertisement with which we are
acquainted as the actual inaugurator of a system which now has hardly
any bounds. That this is wrong will be shown most conclusively, and even
so far evidence is given by the statement, made by Smith and others,
that advertisements were published in Greece and Rome in reference to
the gladiatorial exhibitions, so important a feature of the ancient days
of those once great countries. That these advertisements took the form
of what is now generally known as “billing,” seems most probable, and
Rome must have often looked like a modern country town when the advent
of a circus or other travelling company is first made known.

The first newspaper supposed to have been published in England appeared
in the reign of Queen Elizabeth during the Spanish Armada panic. This
journal was called the _English Mercurie_, and was by authority
“imprinted at London by Christopher Barker, Her Highnesses printer,
1583.” This paper was said to be started for the prevention of the
fulmination of false reports, but it was more like a succession of
extraordinary gazettes, and had by no means the appearance of a regular
journal, as we understand the term. It was promoted by Burleigh, and
used by him to soothe, inform, or exasperate the people as occasion
required.[1] Periodicals and papers really first came into general use
during the civil wars in the reign of Charles I., and in the time of the
Commonwealth; in fact, each party had its organs, to disseminate
sentiments of loyalty, or to foster a spirit of resistance against the
inroads of power.[2] The country was accordingly overflowed with tracts
of every size and of various denominations, many of them displaying
great courage, and being written with uncommon ability. _Mercury_ was
the prevailing title, generally qualified with some epithet; and the
quaintness peculiar to the age is curiously exemplified in the names of
some of the news-books, as they were called: the _Dutch Spye_, the
_Scots Dove_, the _Parliament Kite_, the _Screech Owle_, and the
_Parliamentary Screech Owle_, being instances in point. The list of
_Mercuries_ is almost too full for publication. There was _Mercurius
Acheronticus_, which brought tidings weekly from the infernal regions;
there was _Mercurius Democritus_, whose information was supposed to be
derived from the moon; and among other _Mercuries_ there was the
_Mercurius Mastix_, whose mission was to criticise all its namesakes. It
was not, however, until the reign of Queen Anne that a daily paper
existed in London--this was the _Daily Courant_, which occupied the
field alone for a long period, but which ultimately found two rivals in
the _Daily Post_ and the _Daily Journal_, the three being simultaneously
published in 1724. This state of things continued with very little
change during the reign of George I., but publications of every kind
increased abundantly during the reign of his successor. The number of
newspapers annually sold in England, according to an average of three
years ending with 1753, was 7,411,757; in 1760 it amounted to 9,464,790;
in 1767 it rose to 11,300,980; in 1790 it was as high as 14,035,636; and
in 1792 it amounted to 15,005,760. All this time advertising was a
growing art, and advertisements were beginning to make themselves
manifest as the main support and chief source of profit of newspapers,
as well as the most natural channel of communication between the buyers
and sellers, the needing and supplying members of a vast community.

[Illustration:

  ^Numb. 49^

  ^Domestick Intelligence,^
  Or, News both from
  CITY and COUNTRY.

  ^Published to prevent false Reports.^

  ^Tuesday^, _Decemb. 23. 1679_.

  _London_ Decemb. 22.

  LAst Friday being the nineteenth of this Instant _December_, the
  Justices of the Peace of _Middlesex_ and _Westminster_ attended His
  Majesty in Council, to receive Power and Instructions for the removal
  of all Papists from the Cities of _London_ and _Westminster_, in
  pursuance of His Majesties late Proclamation to that Purpose, and
  being called in, there were Orders given them, to make strict search
  for all _Papists_ that are His Majesties Subjects, or any other
  _Popish_ Recusants who have not the Priviledge of continuing here, (in
  _Sommerset_ House in the Absence of the Queen, as also in His
  Majesties Palace at St. _Jame’s_,) and that the said Justices of the
  Peace, shall seize and Imprison all that be found Transgressors of the
  Law, and Condemners of His Majesties Authority. His Majesty hath also
  sent Orders into the Countrey to the several Knights of the Shire, to
  take an Exact List of the Names of all the Papists of any repute in
  their Respective Counties, and to return the said List to the
  Secretary of State, to be communicated to the Council, and that
  thereupon such Effectual proceedings would be used against them as the
  utmost Severity and Rigour of the Law will allow, and the said Lists
  being accordingly returned to the Lords of the Committee appointed to
  consider of the most Effectual means for putting the Laws in Execution
  against Papists, and for the suppression of Popery (mentioned in our
  last) the Lord Chancellor has order to prepare Commissions (in which
  the said Lists are to be Inserted) which do Impower and require the
  Justices of Peace of the several Counties in _England_ and _Wales_, to
  tender the Oaths of Allegiance and Supremacy to all Persons mentioned
  therein, and in case of their Denial to take the same, to proceed
  against them according to Law, in order to their speedy Conviction;
  with the said Commissions are also to be sent special Instructions for
  the better direction of the said Justices therein, and also Letters
  from the Council Board, to require and Encourage them diligently to
  Execute the said Commissions, and to send up an Account of their
  proceedings, as likewise the Names of all other Papists and Suspected
  Papists as are not in the said Commissions, And that no Papist shall
  be allowed a License or Dispensation to stay in Town; Further that a
  List be taken of all House-keepers, and especially such as entertain
  Lodgers within the Bills of Morality, and of all Midwives,
  Apothecaries and Physicians that are Papists or suspected to be such,
  and to return the List to the Council: And that no Papist may Harbour
  in any of His Majesties Palaces, a Commission is ordered for the
  Green-cloth to offer the Oaths of Allegiance, Supremacy and the Test
  to all Papists and Suspected Papists as shall be found in _Whitehall_,
  and the Precinct thereof, who upon refusal are to be proceeded against
  according to Law, And the Messengers and Knight-Marshals men are
  ordered to seize and bring them before the said Officers, and a Reward
  of Ten pound is to be paid to those who shall discover any Papist or
  suspected Papist in any of His Majesties Houses, and the Officer that
  harbours them shall be turned out of his Place, and Imployment. And
  the Officers of the Parishes, where Ambassadors and Forreign Ministers
  reside shall have Lists brought them of their Menial Servants, and if
  any others shall presume to resort to their _Popish_ Chappels they
  shall be seized and prosecuted.

  It hath been given out that _Francis Smith_ the Bookseller, was upon
  the seventeenth of this Instant _December_, by order of the Council
  Board, Committed to _Newgate_ for Printing the Association, and
  Seditious Queries upon it, and Promoting _Tumultuous Petitions_, but
  our last gave you a _True_ Account of his Committment as expelled in
  the Warrant, and that he had brought his _Habeas Corpus_ upon the late
  Act of Parliament, and we can now assure you that upon Friday the
  Nineteenth Instant he was thereupon restored to his Liberty.

  This day, _December 22._ was the Election (according to the Custom of
  the City of _London_) of the Common-Council-men for the year ensuing,
  and all good Protestants are abundantly satisfied, that those who are
  chosen are such as will stedfastly adhere to the _Protestant_
  Interest, and will upon all occasions assert their own, and the Rights
  of this City.

  The _Gazette_ having told you, That the Lord Mayor and Aldermen of
  _London_, were directed by the Lord Chancellor, by His Majesties
  Command, not to suffer such persons as should sign tumultous Petitions
  to go unpunished, but that they should proceed against them, or cause
  them to be brought before the Council Board to be punished as they
  deserve, according to a Judgment of all the Judges of _England 2
  Jacobi_, we suppose it may gratifie our Readers curiosity, (and
  prevent this danger too) to see what the Law Books say therein. Judge
  _Crook_ in his _Reports, folio 37._ saith, That by command from the
  King, all the Justices of _England_, and divers of the Nobility, with
  the Archbishop of _Canterbury_, and Bishop of _London_, were Assembled
  in the _Star-chamber_, when the Lord Chancellor demanded of the
  Judges, whether it were _an Offence_ punishable, and what punishment
  they deserve, who framed _Petitions_, and Collected a multitude of
  hands thereto, to present to the King in a publick cause, as the
  _Puritans_ had done, (_which was as it seems for Alteration of the
  Law_ (with an intimation to the King, that if he denied their Suit,
  many _Thousands_ of his Subjects would be _discontented_;) whereto all
  the Justices answered, “That it was an Offence fineable at
  _Discretion_, and very near Treason and _Fellony_, in the punishment,
  for they tended to the Raising of Sedition, Rebellion, and Discontent
  among the People,” To which Resolution all the Lords agreed, and then
  many of the Lords declared that some of the _Puritans_ had raised a
  false Rumor of the King, how he intended to to grant a Toleration to
  _Papists_, which offence the Justices conceived to be highly fineable
  by the Rules of the Common Law, either in the Kings Bench, _or by the
  King and his Council_, or now since the Statute of the 3. _Henry_ 7.
  in the _Star-chamber_, The Lords severally, declared how the King was
  discontented with the said false Rumor, and had made but the day
  before a Protestation unto them, _That he never Intended it, and that
  he would spend the last Drop of Blood in his body before he would do
  it, and prayed that before any of his issue should maintain any other
  Religion then what he truly professed and maintained, that God would
  take them out of the world_.

  There were Eleven Persons Condemned to dye the last Sessions in the
  _Old Baily_, six Men and five Women, but one man and three women
  received a Gracious Reprieve from His Majesty, the other seven
  suffered at _Tyburn_ upon _Friday_ last the Nineteenth Instant, whose
  Names and Crimes follow, _John Parker_ by Trade a Watchmaker, for
  Clipping and Coining, having been formerly Convicted of the like at
  _Salisbury_; _Benjamin Penry_, a lusty stout man, convicted of being a
  Notorious Highway-man, and Companion with _French_ Executed last
  Sessions; _John Dell_, who with _Richard Dean_, his Servant were
  heretofore Tryed, for the Murder of _Dells_ wives Brother, and now of
  his wife, which seemed rather to want Proof then Truth, they were both
  Condemned for stealing a Mare, and Executed for the same; This _Dean_
  set fire of the Room wherein he lay at two Places the Night before he
  was Executed; _William Atkins_ for Fellony, being an old Trader in
  that way; The two women, _Susan White_, and _Deborah Rogers_ were both
  old Offenders.

  The Right Honourable the Earl of _Shaftesbury_ hath been lately ill,
  but is pretty well recovered to the Joy of all Good _Protestants_.

  From _Holland_ they write, That there are some hopes of a League
  Offensive and Defensive between His Majesty and the _States General_
  of the _United Provinces_, but on the contrary many fear that a League
  will be concluded between the said _States_, and the _French_ King.

  The Report of the Death of the Dutchess of _Cleaveland_ is altogether
  false and groundless, she having not been indisposed of late.

  Mr. _Benjamin Claypool_ attended the Council again upon Fryday last,
  and was discharged from the custody of the Messenger being told that
  his word should be taken for his Appearance when he should be
  summoned.

  Mr. _Mason_ Attended the Council about writing News Letters, and
  entred into Recognizance to appear after the Holidays, upon which he
  was discharged from the custody of the Messenger.

  Captain _Sharp_ attended upon summons for erecting some buildings upon
  _Tower-hill_, and was ordered to produce all his Deeds and Records to
  the Attorney General, who is to Inspect them and make a Report thereof
  to the Council Board.

  For the readier dispatch of Affairs, there are three Committees sit
  this day _December_, the 22th. at _Whitehall_, one about _Jamaica_,
  Another concerning Trade and the Forreign Plantations, and a Third
  about _Tangier_, to which place we hear there is order for sending
  more Forces and Provisions, for the reinforcing that Garrison, and
  preventing any danger that may arise from the _Moors_. We hear further
  from thence that there are several persons who were formerly _Roman_
  Catholicks, and amongst the rest Captain St. _Johns_, _Captain
  Talbut_, and one Mr. _White_ since made a Captain, with divers
  _others_ who have freely and voluntarily renounced the said Religion,
  and are become _Protestants_, having received the Sacrament according
  to the usage of the Church of _England_, the chief motive of their
  conversion proceeding from their conviction of the Horrid Principles
  and the bloody Trayterous; and damnable practises of the _Popish_
  Faction, and especially since the discovery of the Hellish _Popish_
  Plot against His Majesties Person, the Protestant Religion, and for
  enslaving the Kingdom.

  There is a Report that three Suns were lately seen about _Richmond_ in
  _Surrey_, by divers credible persons, of which different observations
  are made according to the fancy of the People.

  This day, Decemb. 22. Captain _William Bedlow_ one of the Kings
  Evidence, who has been so instrumental in discovering the _Hellish
  Popish_ Plot, and thereby (under God) for preserving his Majesties
  Person and the whole Nation, was married to a Lady of a very
  considerable Fortune.

  There being Intimation given, that _Mrs._ Celier the _Popish_ Midwife
  now a Prisoner in _Newgate_, would make some Discovery of the Plot,
  and the Counter Plot; _She_ was brought before the Councill last week,
  but would confess nothing; whereupon Justice _Warcup_ produced some
  information against her taken before him; Upon which she acknowledged
  the greatest part of what was charged against her, and thereby gave
  very strong Confirmation to the Truth of Mr. _Thomas Dangerfields_
  Depositions, concerning that cursed Conspiracy managed by the Lady
  _Powis_, herself, and several others, for the destruction of many
  Hundreds of his Majesties Loyal _Protestant_ Subjects.

  It is reported, that a Quaker fell in love with a Lady of very great
  Quality, and hath extraordinarily petitioned to obtain her for his
  Wife.

  Upon the 17th. instant in the evening Mr. _Dryden_ the great Poet, was
  set upon in _Rose-street_ in _Covent Garden_, by three persons, who
  calling him rogue, and Son of a whore, knockt him down and dangerously
  wounded him, but upon his crying out murther, they made their escape;
  it is conceived that they had their pay beforehand, and designed not
  to rob him but to execute on him some _Feminine_, if not _Popish_
  vengeance.

  Mr. _Stretch_ the _Custome-house_ Waiter, who seized the Papers in
  Colonel _Mansells_ lodgings, and was soon after suspended from his
  place, upon his humble _Petition_ to His Majesty, was yesterday
  restored.

  In pursuance of His Majesties most strict order for the removing all
  _Papists_ and Suspected _Papists_, from his Palace, the Dutchess of
  _Portsmouths_ Servants that are of the _Romish_ Church are discharged.

  It hath pleased His Majesty to take from His Grace the Duke of
  _Monmouth_, the Office of the Master of the Horse, that being the only
  place which remained to him; but we know not yet who shall succeed
  him, and the Earl of _Feversham_ is made Master of the Horse to the
  Queen.

  Advertisements.

  _THESE are to give Notice That the Right Honourable the Lord_ Maior,
  _and the Commissioners of Serveyors for the City of_ London, _and the
  Liberties thereof; have constituted and appointed_ Samuel Potts _and_
  Robert Davies, _Citizens; to be the General Rakers of the said City
  and Liberties, and do keep their Office in Red Lyon Court, in_
  Watling-street, _where any Person or Persons that are desirous to be
  Imployed under them, as Carters and Sweepers of the Streets, may
  repair from Eight a Clock in the morning, till Twelve a Clock at noon,
  and from two till six at night, where they may be entertained
  accordingly: And if any Gardners, Farmers or others will be furnisht
  with any Dung Soyl or Compost, may there agree for it at reasonable
  rates; and all Gentlemen having private Stables, and all Inholders and
  Masters of Livery Stables and all others, are desired to repair
  thither for the carrying away of their Dung and Soil from their
  respective Stables, and other places, according to an Act of Common
  Council for that purpose._

  _THERE is newly published a Pack of Cards, containing an History of
  all the_ Popish _Plots that have been in_ England: _beginning with
  those in Queen_ Elizabeth _time, and ending with this last damnable
  plot against his Majesty_ Charles II: _Excellently engraved on Copper
  Plates, with very larg descriptions under each Card. The like not
  extant. Sold by_ Randal Taylor _near_ Stationers-hall, _and_ Benjamin
  Harris _at the_ Stationers Arms _under the_ Royal Exchange _in_
  Cornhill.

  _THE Milleners Goods that was to be Sold at the Naked Boy near Strand
  Bridge, are Sold at Mr._ Vanden Anker _in_ Limestreet.

  _LOST on Sunday night the 11 Instant in the_ Meuse, _a pocket with a
  Watch in a single Studded Case, made by_ Richard Lyons; _also a Bunch
  of Keyes, and other things; whoever brings them to Mr._ Bently _in_
  Covent-Garden, _or Mr._ Allen _at the_ Meuse _Gate shall have 20 s.
  Reward._

  London, Printed for _Benjamin Harris_ at the _Stationers Armes_ in the
  _Piazza_ under the _Royal Exchange_ in _Cornhill_, 1679.

]

The victories of Cromwell gave Scotland her first newspaper. This was
called the _Mercurius Politicus_, and appeared at Leith in October 1653;
but it was in November 1654 transferred to Edinburgh, where it was
continued until the 11th April 1660, when it was rechristened, and
appeared as the _Mercurius Publicus_. This paper was but a reprint, for
the information of the English soldiers, of a London publication. But a
newspaper of native manufacture, we are told by a contemporary writer,
soon made its appearance under the title of _Mercurius Caledonius_. The
first number of this was published at Edinburgh on the 31st December
1660, and comprised, as its title sets forth, “the affairs in agitation
in Scotland, with a summary of foreign intelligence.” The publication,
however, extended to no more than ten numbers, which, it is said by
Chambers, “were very loyal, very illiterate, and very affected.” After
the Revolution the custom was still to reprint in Scotland the papers
published in London, an economic way of doing business, which savours
much of the proverbial thrift peculiar to the Land o’ Cakes. In February
1699 the _Edinburgh Gazette_, the first original Scotch newspaper or
periodical, was published by James Watson, author of a “History of
Printing;” but he, after producing forty numbers, transferred it to a Mr
John Reid, whose son continued to print the paper till even after the
Union. In February 1705, Watson, who seems to have been what would now
be called a promoter of newspapers, established the _Edinburgh Courant_,
but relinquished it after the publication of fifty-five numbers, and in
September 1706 commenced the _Scots Courant_, with which he remained
connected until about 1718. To these papers were added in October 1708
the _Edinburgh Flying Post_; in August 1709 the _Scots Postman_,
“printed by David Fearne for John Moncur;” and in March 1710 the _North
Tatler_, “printed by John Reid for Samuel Colvil.” In 1715 the
foundation was laid of the present splendid Glasgow press by the
establishment of the _Courant_, but this did not in any way affect the
publications in the then far more important town of Edinburgh. In March
1714 Robert Brown commenced the _Edinburgh Gazette_ or _Scots Postman_,
which was published twice a week; and in December 1718 the Town Council
gave an exclusive privilege to James M‘Ewen to publish three times a
week the _Edinburgh Evening Courant_, upon condition, however, that
before publication “the said James should give ane coppie of his print
to the magistrates.” This journal is still published, and it is but fair
to assume that the original stipulation is yet complied with. The
_Caledonian Mercury_ followed the _Courant_ on the 28th of April 1720,
and was, like its forerunner, a tri-weekly organ. In these, as well as
in those we have mentioned, advertisements slowly but gradually and
surely began to make their appearance, and, as the sequel proves, to
show their value.

It is stated by several writers that the earliest English provincial
newspaper is believed to be the _Norwich Postman_, which was published
in 1706 at the price of a penny, and which bore the quaint statement,
that a halfpenny would not be refused. Newspaper proprietors,
publishers, and editors were then evidently, so far as Norwich is
concerned, less strong than they are now in their own conceit, and in
their belief in the press as an organ of great power. This _Postman_ was
followed in 1714 by the _Norwich Courant_ or _Weekly Packet_. York and
Leeds followed in 1720, Manchester in 1730, and Oxford in 1740. It was
not, however, until advertising became an important branch of commercial
speculation that the provincial press began in any way to flourish. Now
the journals published in our largest country towns command extensive
circulations, and are regarded by many advertising agents, whose
opinions are fairly worth taking, as being much more remunerative media
than our best London papers. For certain purposes, and under certain
circumstances, the same may be said of colonial newspapers, which have,
of course, grown up with the colonies in which they are published; for
it must be always borne in mind that the essence of advertising is to
place your statement where it is most likely to be seen by those most
interested in it, and so a newspaper with a very limited supply of
readers indeed is often more valuable to the advertiser of peculiar
wares or wants than one with “the largest circulation in the world,” if
that circulation does not reach the class of readers most affected by
those who pay for publicity. It would seem, however, that the largest
class of advertisers, the general public, who employ no agents, and who
consider a large sale everything that is necessary, ignore the argument
of the true expert, and lose sight of the fact that, no matter how
extensive a circulation may be, it is intrinsically useless unless
flowing through the channel which is fairly likely to effect the purpose
for which the advertisement is inserted. It is customary to see a sheet,
detached from the paper with which it is issued, full of advertisements,
which are, of course, unread by all but those who are professedly
readers of public announcements, and who are also, of course, not only
in a decided minority, but not at all the people to whom the notices are
generally directed. The smallest modicum of thought will show how
grievous is the error which leads to such a result, and how much better
it is to regard actual circulation but as so much evidence as to the
value of an advertisement only, and not as a whole, sole, and complete
qualification. Not in any incautious way do those who are most qualified
to judge of value for money act. Turn to any paper of repute, and it
will be seen that the professional advertiser, the theatrical manager,
the publisher, the auctioneer, and the others whom constant practice
has made wary, lay out their money on quite a different principle from
that of the casual advertiser. They have learned their lesson, and if
they pay extra for position or insertion, they know that their outlay is
remunerative; whereas, if it were not governed by caution and system, it
would be simply ruinous. In fact, advertising is a most expensive luxury
if not properly regulated, and a most valuable adjunct when coolness and
calculation are brought to bear upon it as accessories.

The heavy duties originally imposed upon newspapers, both on them and
their advertisements, were at first a considerable check to the number
of notices appearing in them. For, in the first place, the high price of
the papers narrowed the limits of their application; and, in the second,
the extra charge on the advertisements made them above the reach of
almost all but those who were themselves possessed of means, or whose
business it was to pander to the unholy and libidinous desires of the
wealthy. This, we fancy, will be extensively proved by a reference to
the following pages; for while it is our endeavour to keep from this
book all really objectionable items, we are desirous that it shall place
before the reader a true picture of the times in which the
advertisements appeared; and we are not to be checked in our duty by any
false delicacy, or turned from the true course by any squeamishness,
which, unfortunately for us in these days, but encourages the vices it
attempts to ignore.

The stamp duty on newspapers was first imposed in 1713, and was one
halfpenny for half a sheet or less, and one penny “if larger than half a
sheet and not exceeding a whole sheet.” This duty was increased a
halfpenny by an Act of Parliament, 30 Geo. II. c. 19; and by another
Act, 16 Geo. III. c. 34, another halfpenny was added to the tax. This
not being considered sufficient, a further addition of a halfpenny was
made (29 Geo. III. c. 50), and in the thirty-seventh year of the same
wise monarch’s reign (c. 90) three-halfpence more was all at once placed
to the debit of newspaper readers, which brought the sum total of the
duty up to fourpence. An Act of 6 & 7 Will. IV. c. 76 reduced this duty
to one penny, with the proviso, however, that when the sheet contained
1550 superficial inches on either side, an extra halfpenny was to be
paid, and when it contained 2295, an extra penny. An additional
halfpenny was also charged on a supplement, which may be regarded, when
the use of supplements in the present day is taken into consideration,
as an indirect tax on advertisements. In 1855, by an Act 18 & 19 Vict.
c. 27, this stamp duty was abolished, and immediately an immense number
of newspapers started into existence, most of which, however, obtained
but a most ephemeral being, and died away, leaving no sign. There are,
however, a large number of good and useful papers still flourishing,
which would never have been published but for the repeal of the
newspaper stamp duty. To such repeal many rich men owe their prosperity,
while to the same source may now be ascribed the poverty of numbers who
were once affluent. At this time, of course, the old papers also reduced
their rates, and from thence has grown a system of newspaper reading and
advertising which twenty years ago could hardly have been imagined. Up
to the repeal of the stamp duty few people bought newspapers for
themselves, and many newsvendors’ chief duty was to lend the _Times_ out
for a penny per hour, while a second or third day’s newspaper was
considered quite a luxury by those whom business or habit compelled to
stay at home, and therefore who were unable to glance over the
news--generally while some impatient person was scowlingly waiting his
turn--at the tavern bar or the coffee-house. Now almost every one buys a
penny paper for himself, and with the increase in the circulation of
newspapers has, in proportionate ratio, gone on the increase in the
demand for advertisements. The supply has, as every one knows, been in
no way short of the demand. The repeal of the paper duty in 1861 also
affected newspapers much, though naturally in a smaller degree than the
abolition of the compulsory stamp. Still the effect on both the papers
and their advertisements--especially as concerns those journals which
were enabled to still farther reduce their rates--was considerable, and
deserves to be noted. In September 1870 the compulsory stamp, which had
been retained for postal purposes, was abolished, and on the 1st of
October papers were first sent by post with a halfpenny stamp affixed on
the wrappers, and not on the journals themselves.

But it was to the abolition of the impost upon advertisements that their
present great demand and importance can be most directly traced. For
many years a very heavy tax was charged upon every notice published in a
paper and paid for, until 1833 no less than 3s. 6d. being chargeable
upon each advertisement inserted, no matter what its length or
subject-matter. People then, we should imagine--in fact, as application
to the papers of that time proves--were not so fond of cutting a long
advertisement into short and separate pieces as they are now, for every
cut-off rule then meant a charge of 3s. 6d. In 1832, the last year of
this charge, the produce of this branch of the revenue in Great Britain
and Ireland amounted to £170,649. Fancy what the returns would be if 3s.
6d. were charged on every advertisement published throughout the United
Kingdom for the year ending December 31, 1873! It seems almost too great
a sum for calculation. There is no doubt, however, that many people
would be very glad to do the figures for a very slight percentage on the
returns, which would be fabulous, and which would, if properly
calculated, amaze many of those _laudatores temporis acti_ who, without
reason or provocation, are always deploring the decay of everything, and
who would unhesitatingly affirm in their ignorance that even newspapers
and newspaper advertisements have deteriorated in tone and quantity
since the good old times, of which they prove they know nothing by their
persistent praises. Certainly if they did say this, they would not be
much more wrong than they are generally when lamenting over a period
which, could it but return, they would be, as a rule, the very first to
object to. Of the sum of £170,649 just referred to, about £127,986, or
three-fourths of the whole, may be regarded as being drawn from
newspapers, and the other fourth from periodical publications. In 1837,
four years after the reduced charge of 1s. 6d. for each advertisement
had become law, a table was compiled from the detailed returns of the
first six months. As it will doubtless prove interesting to those who
take an interest in the growth and increase of newspapers, as well as in
those of advertisements, we append it:--

  +--------------------------+-------+----------+-------+-------------+
  |                          |No. of | No. of   | No. of|  Amount of  |
  |                          |Papers.| Stamps.  | Adver-|Advertisement|
  |                          |       |          | tise- |    Duty.    |
  |                          |       |          | ments.|             |
  +--------------------------+-------+----------+-------+-------------+
  |London Papers,            |  93   |15,100,197|292,033|£21,902   9 6|
  |English Provincial Papers,| 217   | 7,290,452|317,474| 23,810  11 0|
  |Welsh Papers,             |  10   |   190,955|  6,499|    487   6 6|
  |Edinburgh Papers,         |  13   |   768,071| 20,579|  1,543   9 6|
  |Scotch Provincial Papers, |  46   | 1,121,658| 45,371|  3,402  16 8|
  |Dublin Papers,            |  21   | 1,493,838| 45,848|  2,292   8 0|
  |Irish Provincial Papers,  |  60   | 1,049,358| 41,284|  2,064   4 0|
  |                          +-------+----------+-------+-------------+
  |Total in Great Britain }  |       |          |       |             |
  |  and Ireland,         }  | 460   |27,014,529|769,088|£55,503   5 2|
  +--------------------------+-------+----------+-------+-------------+

The reduction to which we have alluded was followed in 1853 by the total
abolition of the advertisement duty, the effect of which can be best
appreciated by a glance at the columns of any daily or weekly paper,
class or general, which possesses a good circulation.

The first paper published in Ireland was a sheet called _Warranted
Tidings from Ireland_, and this appeared during the rebellion of 1641;
but the first Irish newspaper worthy of the name was the _Dublin
Newsletter_, commenced in 1685. _Pue’s Occurrences_, a Dublin daily
paper, originated in 1700, was continued for half a century, and was
followed in 1728 by another daily paper, _Faulkner’s Journal_,
established by one George Faulkner, “a man celebrated for the goodness
of his heart and the weakness of his head.” The oldest existing Dublin
papers are _Saunders’s_ (originally _Esdaile’s_) _Newsletter_, begun in
1744, and the _Freeman’s Journal_, instituted under the title of the
_Public Register_, by Dr Lucas in 1755. The _Limerick Chronicle_, the
oldest Irish provincial newspaper, dates from 1768. Ireland has now
nearly 150 newspapers, most of them celebrated for the energy of their
language and the extreme fervour of their political opinions. Their
Conservatism and Liberalism are nearly equally divided; about a score
take independent views, and nearly fifty completely eschew politics.
Irish newspapers flourish as vehicles for advertisement, and their
tariffs are about on a par with those of our leading provincial
journals.

Colonial newspapers are plentiful and good, and the best of them filled
with advertisements of a general character at fairly high rates. Those
papers published in Melbourne are perhaps the best specimens of colonial
journalism, and best among these are the _Argus_ and _Age_ (daily), and
the _Australasian_ and _Leader_ (weekly). In fact, we have hardly a
weekly paper in London that is fit to compare on all-round merits with
the last-named, which is a complete representative of the best class of
Australian life, and contains a great show of advertisements, which do
much to enlighten the reader as to Antipodean manners and customs.

American newspapers are of course plentiful, and their advertisements,
as will be shown during the progress of this volume, are often of an
almost unique character. Throughout the United States, newspapers start
up like rockets, to fall like sticks; but now and then a success is
made, and if once Fortune is secured by an adventurous speculator, she
is rarely indeed allowed to escape. The system of work on American
(U.S.) journals is very different from that pursued here, everything on
such establishments as those of the _New York Herald_, the _Tribune_,
and the _Times_, being sacrificed to news. This is more particularly the
case with regard to the _Herald_, which has an immense circulation and
great numbers of highly-priced advertisements, most of which are
unfortunately regarded more in connection with the amount of money they
produce to the proprietor than in reference to any effect, moral or
otherwise, they may have on the community. It is the boast of American
journalists that they have papers in obscure towns many hundreds of
miles inland, any one of which contains in a single issue as much
news--news in the strictest meaning of the word--as the London _Times_
does in six. And, singular as it may at first sight seem, there is a
great element of truth about the statement, the telegraph being used in
the States with a liberality which would drive an English proprietor to
the depths of black despair. The Associated Telegraph Company seem to
enjoy a monopoly, and to exercise almost unlimited powers; and not long
ago they almost completely ruined a journal of standing in California by
refusing to transmit intelligence to it because its editor and
proprietor had taken exception to the acts of some members of the
Associated Telegraph Company’s staff, and it was only on receipt of a
most abject apology from the delinquents that the most autocratic power
in the States decided to reinstate the paper on its list. This Telegraph
Company charges very high rates, and the only visible means by which
this system of journalism is successfully carried out is that of
advertisements, which are comparatively more plentiful in these papers
than in the English, and are charged for at considerably higher rates.
Some of these newspapers, notably a small hebdomadal called the _San
Francisco Newsletter_, go in for a deliberate system of blackmailing,
and have no hesitation in acknowledging that their pages, not the
advertisement portions, but their editorial columns, are to be bought
for any purpose--for the promotion of blasphemy, obscenity, atheism, or
any other “notion”--at a price which is regulated according to the
editor’s opinion of the former’s value, or the amount of money he may
have in his pocket at the time. This is a system of advertising little
known, happily, in this “effete old country,” where we have not yet
learned to sacrifice all that should be dear and honourable to
humanity--openly, at all events--for a money consideration. It is almost
impossible to tell the number of papers published throughout the United
States of America, each individual State being hardly aware of the
quantity it contains, or how many have been born and died within the
current twelvemonths. The Americans are a truly great people, but they
have not yet settled down into a regular system, so far, at all events,
as newspapers and advertisements are concerned.[3]

The first paper published in America is said to have been the _Boston
Newsletter_, which made its appearance in 1704. The inhabitants of the
United States have ever been wideawake to the advantages of advertising,
but it would seem that the Empire City is not, as is generally supposed
here, first in rank, so far as the speculative powers of its denizens
go, if we are to believe the New Orleans correspondent of the _New York
Tribune_, who says in one of his letters:--“The merchants of New
Orleans are far more liberal in advertising than those of your city, and
it is they alone which support most of our papers. One firm in this
city, in the drug business, expends 20,000 dollars a year in job
printing, and 30,000 dollars in advertising. A clothing firm has
expended 50,000 dollars in advertising in six months. Both
establishments are now enjoying the lion’s share of patronage, and are
determined to continue such profits and investments. A corn doctor is
advertising at over 10,000 dollars a month, and the proprietor of a
‘corner grocery’ on the outskirts of the city has found it advantageous
to advertise to the extent of 7000 dollars during the past winter.”

In London the _Times_ and _Telegraph_ absorb the lion’s share of the
advertiser’s money. The former, the leading journal of the day, of
independent politics and magnificent proportions, stands forth first,
and, to use a sporting phrase, has no second, so far is it in front of
all others as regards advertisements, as well as on other grounds. An
average number of the _Times_ contains about 2500 advertisements,
counting between every cut-off rule; and the receipts in the
advertisement department are said to be about £1000 a day, or 8s. each.
A number of the _Daily Telegraph_ in December 1873 contains 1444
advertisements (also counting between every cut-off rule), and these may
fairly be calculated to produce £500 or thereabouts, the tariff being
throughout little less than that of the _Times_; for what it lacks in
power and influence the _Telegraph_ is supposed to make up in
circulation. This is rather a change for the organ of Peterborough
Court, which little more than eighteen years ago was started with good
advertisements to the extent of _seven shillings and sixpence_. The
_Telegraph_ proprietors do not, however, get all the profit out of the
advertisements, for in its early and struggling days they were glad,
naturally, to close with advertisement agents, who agreed to take so
many columns a day at the then trade price, and who now have a vast
deal the best of the bargain. To such lucky accidents, which occur often
in the newspaper world, are due the happy positions of some men, who
live upon the profits accruing from their columns, and ride in neat
broughams, oblivious of the days when they went canvassing afoot, and
have almost brought themselves to the belief that they are gentlemen,
and always were such. This must be the only bitter drop in the cup of
the otherwise happy possessors of the _Telegraph_, which is at once a
mine of wealth to them, and an instrument by which they become quite a
power in the state. They can, however, well afford the lucky
advertisement-agents their profits, and, looking back, may rest
satisfied that things are as they are.

But there are many daily papers in London besides the _Times_ and
_Telegraph_, and all these receive a plentiful share of advertisements.
The _Standard_ has, within the past few years, developed its resources
wonderfully, and may be now considered a good fair third in the race for
wealth, and not by any means a distant third, so far as the _Telegraph_
is concerned. This paper has a most extensive circulation, being the
only cheap Conservative organ in London, if we may except the _Hour_,
and as it offers to advertisers a repetition of their notices in the
_Evening Standard_, it is not surprising that, spacious as are its
advertisement columns, it manages to fill them constantly, and at a rate
which would have considerably astonished its old proprietors. The _Daily
News_, which a few years back reduced its price to one penny, has, since
the Franco-Prussian war, been picking up wonderfully, and with its
increased health as a paper its outer columns have proportionally
improved in appearance; many experienced advertisers have a great regard
for the _News_, which they look upon as offering a good return for
investments. The _Morning Advertiser_, as the organ of the licensed
victuallers, is of course an invaluable medium of inter-communication
among members of “the trade,” and in it are to be found advertisements
of everything to be obtained in connection with the distillery, the
brewery, and the tavern. Publicans who want potboys, and potboys who
want employers, barmaids, barmen, and people in want of “snug”
businesses, or with “good family trades” to dispose of, all consult the
_’Tiser_, which is under the special supervision of a committee of
licensed victuallers, who act as stewards, and annually hand over the
profits to the Licensed Victuallers’ School. An important body is this
committee, a body which feels that the eye of Europe is upon it, and
which therefore takes copious notes of everything; is broad wideawake,
and is not to be imposed on. But it is a kindly and beneficent body, as
its purpose shows; and a little licence can well be afforded to a
committee which gives its time and trouble, to say nothing of voting its
money, in the interest of the widow and the fatherless. A few years back
great fun used to be got out of the _’Tiser_, or the “Gin and Gospel
Gazette,” as it was called, on account of its peculiar views on current
questions; but all that is altered now, and since the advent of the
present régime the _Advertiser_ has improved sufficiently to be regarded
as a general paper, and therefore as a general advertising medium. The
_Hour_ is a new journal, started in opposition to the _Standard_, and
professing the same politics. It is hardly within our ken so far, and
the same may be said of the _Morning Post_, which has its own exclusive
_clientèle_. In referring to the foregoing journals, we have made no
remarks beyond those to which we are guided by their own published
statements, and we have intended nothing invidious in the order of
selection. For obvious reasons we shall say nothing of the evening
papers, beyond that all seem to fill their advertisement columns with
ease, and to be excellent mediums of publicity.

The weekly press and the provincial press can tell their own story
without assistance. In the former the advertisements are fairly classed,
according to the pretensions of the papers or the cause they adopt,
while with the provincials it is the story of the London dailies told
over again. Manchester and Liverpool possess magnificent journals, full
of advertisements and of large circulation, and so do all other large
towns in the country; but we doubt much if, out of London, Glasgow is to
be beaten on the score of its papers or the energy of its advertisers.

  [1] This paper seems to have been an imposture, which, believed in at
  the time, has been comparatively recently detected. A writer in the
  _Quarterly Review_, June 1855, says, “The _English Mercurie_ of 1588
  [Qy. 1583], which professes to have been published during those
  momentous days when the Spanish Armada was hovering and waiting to
  pounce upon our southern shores, contains amongst its items of news
  three or four book advertisements, and these would undoubtedly have
  been the first put forth in England, were that newspaper genuine. Mr
  Watts, of the British Museum, has, however, proved that the several
  numbers of this journal to be found in our national library are gross
  forgeries; and, indeed, the most inexperienced eye in such matters can
  easily see that neither their type, paper, spelling, nor composition
  are much more than one instead of upwards of two centuries and a half
  old.” Haydn also says, “Some copies of a publication are in existence
  called the _English Mercury_, professing to come out under the
  authority of Queen Elizabeth in 1588, the period of the Spanish
  Armada. The researches of Mr J. Watts, of the British Museum, have
  proved these to be forgeries, executed about 1766. The full title of
  No. 50 is ‘_The English Mercurie_, published by authoritie, for the
  prevention of false reports, imprinted by Christopher Barker, Her
  Highnesses printer, No. 50.’ It describes the Spanish Armada, giving
  ‘A journal of what passed since the 21st of this month, between Her
  Majestie’s fleet and that of Spayne, transmitted by the Lord Highe
  Admiral to the Lordes of Council.’”

  [2] The _Quarterly_ mentions a paper which appeared late in the reign
  of James I.: “The _Weekly News_, published in London in 1622, was the
  first publication which answered to this description; it contained,
  however, only a few scraps of foreign intelligence, and was quite
  destitute of advertisements.” And then, as if to prove what has been
  already stated by the _Encyclopædia Britannica_, the writer goes on to
  say, “The terrible contest of the succeeding reign was the hotbed
  which forced the press of this country into sudden life and
  extraordinary vigour.”

  [3] In 1830 America (U.S.), whose population was 23,500,000, supported
  800 newspapers, 50 of these being daily; and the conjoined annual
  circulation was 64,000,000. Fifteen years later these figures were
  considerably increased--nearly doubled; but since the development of
  the Pacific States it has been almost impossible to tell the number of
  papers which have sprung into existence, every mining camp and every
  village being possessed of its organ, some of which have died, and
  some of which are still flourishing. A professed and apparently
  competent critic assures us that there are quite 3000 newspapers now
  in the States, and that at least a tithe of them are dailies.




CHAPTER II.

_INTRODUCTORY--STREET AND GENERAL ADVERTISING._


It seems indeed singular that we are obliged to regard advertising as a
comparatively modern institution; for, as will be shown in the progress
of this work, the first advertisement which can be depended upon as
being what it appears to be was, so far as can be discovered, published
not much more than two hundred years ago. But though we cannot find any
instances of business notices appearing in papers before the middle of
the seventeenth century, mainly because there were not, so far as our
knowledge goes, papers in which to advertise, there is little doubt that
the desire among tradesmen and merchants to make good their wares has
had an existence almost as long as the customs of buying and selling,
and it is but natural to suppose that advertisements in some shape or
form have existed not only from time immemorial, but almost for all
time. Signs over shops and stalls seem naturally to have been the first
efforts in the direction of advertisements, and they go back to the
remotest portions of the world’s history. Public notices also were
posted about in the first days of the children of Israel, the utterances
of the kings and prophets being inscribed on parchments and exposed in
the high places of the cities. It was also customary, early in the
Christian era, for a scroll to be exhibited when any of the Passion or
other sacred plays were about to be performed, and comparatively
recently we have received positive intelligence that in Pompeii and
similar places advertising by means of signs and inscriptions was quite
common. The “History of Signboards,” a very exhaustive and valuable
book, quotes Aristotle, and refers to Lucian, Aristophanes, and others,
in proof of the fact that signboard advertisements were used in ancient
Greece, but the information is extremely vague. Of the Romans, however,
more is known. Some streets were with them known by means of signs. The
book referred to tells us that the bush, the Romans’ tavern sign, gave
rise to the proverb, “Vino vendibili suspensa hedera non opus est;” and
hence we derive our own sign of the bush, and our proverb, “Good wine
needs no bush.” An _ansa_ or handle of a pitcher was then the sign of a
pothouse, and hence establishments of this kind were afterwards
denominated _ansæ_.

A correspondent writing to _Notes and Queries_, in answer to a question
in reference to early advertising, says that the mode adopted by the
Hebrews appears to have been chiefly by word of mouth, not by writing.
Hence the Hebrew word _kara_ signifies to cry aloud, and to announce or
make known publicly (κηρύσσειν); and the announcement or proclamation,
as a matter of course, was usually made in the streets and chief places
of concourse. The matters thus proclaimed were chiefly of a sacred kind,
as might be expected under a theocracy; and we have no evidence that
secular affairs were made the subject of similar announcements. In one
instance, indeed (Isa. xiii. 3), _kara_ has been supposed to signify the
calling out of troops; but this may be doubted. The Greeks came a step
nearer to our idea of advertising, for they made their public
announcements by writing as well as orally. For announcement by word of
mouth they had their κήρυξ, who, with various offices besides, combined
that of public crier. His duties as crier appear to have been
restricted, with few exceptions, to state announcements and to great
occasions. He gave notice, however, of sales. For the publication of
their laws the Greeks employed various kinds of tablets, πίνακες,
ἄξονες, κύρβεις. On these the laws were written, to be displayed for
public inspection. The Romans largely advertised private as well as
public matters, and by writing as well as by word of mouth. They had
their _præcones_, or criers, who not only had their public duties, but
announced the times, places, and conditions of sales, and cried things
lost. Hawkers cried their own goods. Thus Cicero speaks of one who cried
figs, _Cauneas clamitabat_ (De Divin. ii. 40). But the Romans also
advertised, in a stricter sense of the term, by writing. The bills were
called _libelli_, and were used for advertising sales of estates, for
absconded debtors, and for things lost or found. The advertisements were
often written on tablets (_tabellæ_), which were affixed to pillars
(_pilæ columnæ_). On the walls of Pompeii have been discovered various
advertisements. There will be a dedication or formal opening of certain
baths. The company attending are promised slaughter of wild beasts,
athletic games, perfumed sprinkling, and awnings to keep off the sun
(_venatia_, _athletæ_, _sparsiones_, _vela_).[4] One other mode of
public announcement employed by the Romans should be mentioned, and that
was by signs suspended or painted on the wall. Thus a suspended shield
served as the sign of a tavern (Quintil. vi. 3), and nuisances were
prohibited by the painting of two sacred serpents. Among the French,
advertising appears to have become very general towards the close of the
sixteenth century. In particular, placards attacking private character
had, in consequence of the religious wars, become so numerous and
outrageous, that subsequently, in 1652, the Government found it
necessary to interpose for their repression.[5]

Speaking of the signs of Herculaneum and Pompeii, the “History of
Signboards” says that a few were painted, but, as a rule, they appear to
have been made of stone, or terra cotta relievo, and set into the
pilasters at the sides of the open shop fronts. Thus there have been
found a goat, the sign of a dairy, and a mule driving a mill, the sign
of a baker. At the door of a school was the highly suggestive and not
particularly pleasant sign to pupils of a boy being birched. Like to our
own signs of two brewers carrying a tun slung on a pole, a Pompeian
publican had two slaves represented above his door carrying an amphora,
and another dispenser of drink had a painting of Bacchus pressing a
bunch of grapes. At a perfumer’s shop in the street of Mercury were
represented various items of that profession, notably four men carrying
a box with vases of perfume, and men laying out and perfuming a corpse.
There was also a sign of the Two Gladiators, under which, in the usual
Pompeian cacography, was the following:--“Abiam venerem Pompeiianama
iradam qui hoc læserit.” Besides these were the signs of the Anchor, the
Ship (possibly a ship-chandler’s), a sort of a Cross, the Chequers, the
Phallus on a baker’s shop, with the words, “Hic habitat felicitas;”
whilst in Herculaneum there was a very cleverly painted Amorino, or
Cupid, carrying a pair of lady’s shoes, one on his head and the other in
his hand. It is also probable that the various artificers of Rome used
their tools as signs over their workshops and residences, as it is found
that they were sculptured on their tombs in the catacombs. On the
tombstone of Diogenes, the grave-digger, there is a pickaxe and a lamp;
Banto and Maxima have the tools of carpenters, a saw, an adze, and a
chisel; Veneria, a tire-woman, has a mirror and a comb. There are others
with wool-combers’ implements; a physician has a cupping-glass; a
poulterer, a case of fowls; a surveyor, a measuring rule; a baker, a
bushel measure, a millstone, and some ears of corn; and other signs are
numerous on the graves of the departed. Even the modern custom of
punning on the name, so common on signboards, finds its precedent on
these stones. The grave of Dracontius was embellished with a dragon,
that of Onager with a wild ass, and that of Umbricius with a shady tree.
Leo’s grave received a lion; Doleus, father and son, two casks;
Herbacia, two baskets of herbs; and Porcula, a pig. It requires,
therefore, but the least possible imagination to see that all these
symbols and advertisements were by no means confined to the use of the
dead, but were extensively used in the interests of the living.

[Illustration]

[Illustration: _WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.--Signor Raphael Garrucci,
to whom we are indebted for these Plates, in commenting upon Group 5
(LX., IIII., IIII., VII., ZV., Ε., ΓΑ., III., S., CIA.), says, “I will
now give my opinion upon this strange combination of Greek and Roman
signs--it seems to me a custom introduced even at Rome since the epoch
of Augustus, to mingle the Greek numeral elements with Latin signs.”_]

Street advertising, in its most original form among us, was therefore
without doubt derived from the Romans; and this system gradually grew,
until, in the Middle Ages, there was hardly a house of business without
its distinctive sign or advertisement; which was the more necessary, as
in those days numbers to houses were unknown. “In the Middle Ages the
houses of the nobility, both in town and country, when the family was
absent, were used as hostelries for travellers. The family arms always
hung in front of the house, and the most conspicuous object in those
arms gave a name to the establishment amongst travellers, who,
unacquainted with the mysteries of heraldry, called a lion gules or
azure by the vernacular name of the Red or Blue Lion. Such coats of arms
gradually became a very popular intimation that there was--

    Good entertainment for all that passes--
    Horses, mares, men, and asses.

And innkeepers began to adopt them, hanging out red lions and green
dragons as the best way to acquaint the public that they offered food
and shelter. Still, as long as civilisation was only at a low ebb, the
so-called open houses few, and competition trifling, signs were of but
little use. A few objects, typical of the trade carried on, would
suffice; a knife for the cutler, a stocking for the hosier, a hand for
the glover, a pair of scissors for the tailor, a bunch of grapes for the
vintner, fully answered public requirements. But as luxury increased,
and the number of houses or shops dealing in the same article
multiplied, something more was wanted. Particular trades continued to be
confined to particular streets; the desideratum then was to give to each
shop a name or token by which it might be mentioned in conversation, so
that it could be recommended and customers sent to it. Reading was still
a scarce acquirement, consequently to write up the owner’s name would
have been of little use. Those that could advertised their name by a
rebus--thus, a hare and a bottle stood for Harebottle, and two cocks for
Cox. Others, whose names could represent, adopted pictorial objects; and
as the quantity of these augmented, new subjects were continually
required. The animal kingdom was ransacked, from the mighty elephant to
the humble bee, from the eagle to the sparrow; the vegetable kingdom,
from the palm-tree and cedar to the marigold and daisy; everything on
the earth and in the firmament above it was put under contribution.
Portraits of the great men of all ages, and views of towns, both painted
with a great deal more of fancy than of truth; articles of dress,
implements of trades, domestic utensils, things visible and invisible,
‘Ea quæ sunt tanquam ea quæ non sunt,’ everything was attempted in order
to attract attention and to obtain publicity. Finally, as all signs in a
town were painted by the same small number of individuals, whose talents
and imagination were limited, it followed that the same subjects were
often repeated, introducing only a change in the colour for a
difference.”[6]

From the foregoing can be traced the gradual growth of street
advertising until it has reached its present extensive pitch; and though
the process may be characterised as slow, no one who looks around at the
well-covered hoardings and the be-plastered signs on detached and
prominent houses can doubt that it is sure. Proclamations, and suchlike
official announcements, were probably the first specimens of street
advertising, as we now understand the term; but it was not until
printing became general, and until the people became conversant with the
mysteries of reading and writing, that posters and handbills were to any
extent used. Mention is made in 1679 of a tradesman named Jonathan
Holder, haberdasher, of the city of London, who gave to every purchaser
to the extent of a guinea a printed list of the articles kept in stock
by him, with the prices affixed. The paper in which this item of news
was recorded seems to have regarded Mr Holder’s practice as a dangerous
innovation, and remarks that it would be quite destructive to trade if
shopkeepers lavished so much of their capital in printing useless bills.
This utterance now seems ridiculous; but in the course of another two
centuries many orthodox opinions of the present day will receive as
complete a downfall as that just recorded.

Within the recollections of men who are still young street advertising
has considerably changed. Twenty years ago the billsticker was a
nuisance of the most intolerable kind, and though we can hardly now
consider him a blessing, his habits have changed very much for the
better. Never heeding the constant announcement to him to beware, the
billsticker cared nothing for the privacy of dead walls, or, for the
matter of that, of dwelling-houses and street doors; and though he was
hardly ever himself to be seen, his disfigurative work was a prominent
feature of the metropolis. It was also considered by him a point of
honour--if the term may be used in connection with billstickers--to
paste over the work of a rival; and so the hoardings used to present the
most heterogeneous possible appearance, and though bills were plentiful,
their intelligibility was of a very limited description. Sunday morning
early used to be a busy time with the wandering billsticker. Provided
with a light cart and an assistant, he would make a raid on a whole
district, sticking his notices and disappearing with marvellous
rapidity. And how he would chuckle as he drove away, more especially if,
in addition to disfiguring a private wall, he had succeeded in covering
over the handiwork of a rival! For this reason the artful billsticker
used to select a time when it was still early enough to evade detection,
and yet late enough to deface the work of those who had gone before him.
Billsticking was thus an art attended with some difficulties; and it was
not until the advent of contractors, like Willing, Partington, and
others, that any positive publicity could be depended upon in connection
with posting.

Yet, in the days of which we have just been speaking, the man of paste
considered himself a very important personage; and it is not so very
long since one individual published himself under the style and title of
“Champion Billposter,” and as such defied all comers. It was for some
time doubtful whether his claims depended upon his ability to beat and
thrash all rivals at fisticuffs, whether he was able to stick more bills
in a given time than any other man, or whether he had a larger and more
important connection than usually fell to the poster’s lot; in fact, the
question has never been settled, for exception having been taken to his
assumption of the title of champion from any point of view, and
reference having been made to the editors of sporting papers, the
ambitious one gracefully withdrew his pretensions, and the matter
subsided. A generation ago one of the most popular songs of the day
commenced something like this--

    “I’m Sammy Slap the billsticker, and you must all agree, sirs,
    I sticks to business like a trump while business sticks to me, sirs.
    There’s some folks calls me plasterer, but they deserve a banging,
    Cause yer see, genteelly speaking, that my trade is paperhanging.
                      With my paste, paste, paste!
                      All the world is puffing,
                      So I’ll paste, paste, paste!”

[Illustration: AN OLD BILL-STATION.]

The advent of advertisement contractors, who purchased the right,
exclusive and absolute, to stick bills on a hoarding, considerably
narrowed the avocations of what might almost have been called the
predatory billsticker. For a long time the fight was fierce and often;
as soon as an “advertisement station” had been finished off, its bills
and announcements being all regulated with mathematical precision, a
cloud of skirmishers, armed to the teeth with bills, pots, and brushes,
would convert, in a few minutes, the orderly arrangements of the
contractor to a perfect chaos. But time, which rights all things, aided
in the present instance by a few magisterial decisions, and by an
unlooked-for and unaccountable alacrity on the part of the police, set
these matters straight; and now it is hard to find an enclosure in
London the hoarding of which is not notified as being the “advertisement
station” of some contractor or other who would blush to be called
billsticker. In the suburbs the flying brigade is still to be found hard
at work, but daily its campaigning ground becomes more limited, and
gradually these Bashi-Bazouks of billsticking are becoming absorbed into
the regular ranks of the agents’ standing corps.

Placard advertising, of an orderly, and even ornamental, character, has
assumed extensive proportions at most of the metropolitan railway
stations, the agents to whom we have just referred having extended their
operations in the direction of blank spaces on the walls, which they
sublet to the general advertising public. Often firms which advertise on
an extensive scale themselves contract with the railway companies, and
not a few have extended their announcements from the stations to the
sides of the line, little enamelled plates being used for this purpose.
Any one having a vacant space at the side of his house, or a blank wall
to the same, may, provided he live in anything like a business
thoroughfare, and that the vantage place is free from obstruction, do
advantageous business with an advertisement contractor; and, as matters
are progressing, we may some day expect to see not only the private
walls of the houses in Belgrave Square and suchlike fashionable
localities well papered, but the outsides and insides of our public
buildings utilised as well by the hand of the advertiser. One thing is
certain, no one could say that many of the latter would be spoiled, no
matter what the innovation to which they were subjected.

The most recent novelty in advertising has been the introduction of a
cabinet, surmounted by a clock face, into public-house bars and luncheon
rooms. These cabinets are divided into spaces of say a superficial foot
each, which are to be let off at a set price. So far as we have yet
seen, these squares have been filled for the most part with the
promoters’ advertisements only; and it is admitted by all who know most
about advertising that the very worst sign one can have as to the
success of a medium is that of an advertisement emanating from the
promoters or proprietors of anything in which such advertisement
appears. Why this should be we are not prepared to say. We are more able
to show why it should not be; for no man, advertisement contractor or
otherwise, should, under fair commercial conditions, ask another to do
what he would not do himself. So we are satisfied to rest content with
the knowledge that what we have stated is fact, however incongruous it
may seem, which any one can endorse by applying himself to the ethics of
advertising. Certainly, in the instance quoted, the matter looks very
suggestive; perhaps it depends on the paradox, that he who is most
anxious that others should advertise is least inclined to do so himself.

Not long ago the promoters of a patent umbrella, which seems to have
gone the mysterious way of all umbrellas, patent or otherwise, and to
have disappeared, availed themselves of a great boat-race to attract
public attention to their wares. Skiffs fitted with sails, on each of
which were painted the patent parapluie, and a recommendation to buy
it, dotted the river, and continually evaded the efforts of the
Conservancy Police, who were endeavouring to marshal all the small craft
together, so as to leave a clear course for the competitors. Every time
one of these advertising boats broke out into mid-stream, carrying its
eternal umbrella between the dense lines of spectators, the
advertisement was extremely valuable, for straying boats of any kind are
on such occasions very noticeable, and these were of course much more
so. Still it would seem from the sequel that this bold innovation had
been better applied to something more likely to hit the public taste;
for whether it was that people, knowing how fleeting a joy is a good
umbrella, were determined not to put temptation in the way of their
friends, or whether the experiment absorbed all the spare capital of the
inventor and patentees, we know not; but this we do know, that since the
time of which we speak little or nothing has been heard of the novel
“gingham.”

Another innovation in the way of advertisements was that, common a few
years back, of stencilling the flagstones. At first this system assumed
very small proportions, a parallelogram, looking like an envelope with a
black border that had been dropped, and containing the address of the
advertiser, being the object of the artist entrusted with the mission.
Gradually, however, the inscriptions grew, until they became a perfect
nuisance, and were put down--if the term applies to anything on such a
low level--by the intervention of the police and the magistrates. The
undertakers were the greatest sinners in this respect, the invitations
to be buried being most numerous and varied. These “black workers” or
“death-hunters,” as they are often called, are in London most persistent
advertisers. They can hardly think that people will die to oblige them
and do good for trade, yet in some districts they will, with the most
undeviating persistency, drop their little books, informing you how,
when, where, and at what rates you may be buried with economy or
despatch, or both, as the case may be, down your area, or poke them
under your door, or into the letter-box. More, it is stated on good
authority, than one pushing contractor, living in a poor neighbourhood,
obtains a list of all the folk attended by the parish doctor, and at
each of the houses leaves his little pamphlet, let us hope with the
desire of cheering and comforting the sick and ailing. To such a man
Death must come indeed as a friend, so long, of course, as the grim king
comes to the customers only.

A few years back, when hoardings were common property, the undertakers
had a knack of posting their dismal little price-lists in the centre of
great broadsheets likely to attract any unusual share of attention. They
were not particular, however, and any vantage space, from a doorpost to
a dead wall, came within their comprehension. Another ingenious, and,
from its colour, somewhat suggestive, plan was about this time brought
into requisition by an undertaker for the destruction of a successful
rival’s advertisements. He armed one of his assistants with a great can
of blacking and a brush, and instructed him to go by secret ways and
deface the opposition placards. Of course the other man followed suit,
and for a time an undertaker’s bill was known best by its illegibility.
But ultimately these two men of colour met and fought with the
instruments provided by their employers. They did not look lovely when
charged before a magistrate next morning, and being bound over to keep
the peace, departed to worry each other, or each other’s bills, no more.
There is another small bill feature of advertising London which is so
objectionable that we will pass it by with a simple thankful notice that
its promoters are sometimes overtaken by tardy but ironhanded justice.

Most people can recollect the hideous glass pillars or “indicators”
which, for advertising purposes, were stuck about London. The first one
made its appearance at Hyde Park Corner, and though, in deference to
public opinion, it did not remain there very long, less aristocratic
neighbourhoods had to bear their adornments until the complete failure
of the attempt to obtain advertisements to fill the vacant spaces showed
how fatuous was the project. The last of these posts, we remember, was
opposite the Angel at Islington, and there, assisted by local faith and
indolence, it remained until a short time back. But it too has gone now,
and with it has almost faded the recollection of these hideous
nightmares of advertising.

The huge vans, plastered all over with bills, which used to traverse
London, to the terror of the horses and wonder of the yokels, were
improved off the face of the earth a quarter of a century ago; and now
the only perambulating advertisement we have is the melancholy
sandwich-man and the dispenser of handbills, gentlemen who sometimes
“double their parts,” to use a theatrical expression. To a playhouse
manager we owe the biggest thing in street and general advertising--that
in connection with the “Dead Heart”--that has yet been recorded. Mr
Smith, who had charge of this department of the Adelphi, has published a
statement which gives the totals as follows:--10,000,000 adhesive labels
(which, by the way, were an intolerable nuisance), 30,000 small cuts of
the guillotine scene, 5000 reams of note-paper, 110,000 business
envelopes, 60,000 stamped envelopes, 2000 six-sheet cuts of Bastile
scene, 5,000,000 handbills, 1000 six-sheet posters, 500 slips, 1,000,000
cards heartshaped, 100 twenty-eight sheet posters, and 20,000 folio
cards for shop windows. This was quite exclusive of newspaper wrappers
and various other ingenious means of attracting attention to the play
throughout the United Kingdom.

Among other forms of advertising, that on the copper coinage must not be
forgotten. The extensive defacement of the pence and halfpence of the
realm in the interests of a well-known weekly paper ultimately led to
the interference of Parliament, and may fairly be regarded as the cause,
or at all events as one of the principal causes, of the sum of £10,000
being voted in July 1855 for the replacement of the old, worn, battered,
and mixed coppers by our present bronze coinage.

       *       *       *       *       *

And now, having given a hurried and summarised glance at the growth and
progress of advertising of all kinds and descriptions, from the earliest
periods till the present time, we will begin at the beginning, and tell
the story with all its ramifications, mainly according to those best
possible authorities, the advertisements themselves.

  [4] The opening notice of the baths at Pompeii was almost perfect when
  discovered, and originally read thus:--“Dedicatone . Thermarum .
  Muneris . Cnæi . Allei . Nigidii . Maii . Venalio . Athelæ .
  Sparsiones . Vela . Erunt . Maio . Principi . Coloniæ . Feliciter.”

  [5] _Notes and Queries_, vol. xi., 3d series.

  [6] “History of Signboards.”




CHAPTER III.

_ANCIENT FORMS OF ADVERTISING._


Though it would be quite impossible to give any exact idea as to the
period when the identical first advertisement of any kind made its
appearance, or what particular clime has the honour of introducing a
system which now plays so important a part in all civilised countries,
there need be no hesitation in ascribing the origin of advertising to
the remotest possible times--to the earliest times when competition,
caused by an increasing population, led each man to make efforts in that
race for prominence which has in one way or other gone on ever since. As
soon as the progress of events or the development of civilisation had
cast communities together, each individual member naturally tried to do
the best he could for himself, and as he, in the course of events, had
naturally to encounter rivals in his way of life, it is not hard to
understand that some means of preventing a particular light being hid
under a bushel soon presented itself. That this means was an
advertisement is almost certain; and so almost as long as there has been
a world--or quite as long, using the term as it is best understood
now--there have been advertisements. At this early stage of history,
almost every trade and profession was still exercised by itinerants, who
proclaimed their wares or their qualifications with more or less flowery
encomiums, with, in fact, the advertisement verbal, which, under some
circumstances, is still very useful. But the time came when the
tradesman or professor settled down, and opened what, for argument’s
sake, we will call a shop. Then another method of obtaining publicity
became requisite, and the crier stepped forward to act as a medium
between the provider and the consumer. This is, however, but another
form of the same system, and, like its simpler congener, has still an
existence, though not an ostentatious one. When the art of writing was
invented, the means of extending the knowledge which had heretofore been
simply cried, was greatly extended, and advertising gradually became an
art to be cultivated.

Very soon after the invention of writing in its rudest form, it was
turned to account in the way of giving publicity to events in the way of
advertisement; for rewards for and descriptions of runaway slaves,
written on papyri more than three thousand years ago, have been exhumed
from the ruins of Thebes. An early but mythical instance of a reward
being offered in an advertisement is related by Pausanias,[7] who,
speaking of the art of working metals, says that the people of Phineum,
in Arcadia, pretended that Ulysses dedicated a statue of bronze to
Neptune, in the hope that by that deity’s intervention he might recover
the horses he had lost; and, he adds, “they showed me an inscription on
the pedestal of the statue offering a reward to any person who should
find and take care of the animals.”

The Greeks used another mode of giving publicity which is worthy of
remark here. They used to affix to the statues of the infernal deities,
in the _temenos_ of their temples, curses inscribed on sheets of lead,
by which they devoted to the vengeance of those gods the persons who had
found or stolen certain things, or injured the advertisers in any other
way. As the names of the offenders were given in full in these singular
inscriptions, they had the effect of making the grievances known to
mortals as well as immortals, and thus the advertisement was attained.
The only difference between these and ordinary public notices was that
the threat of punishment was held out instead of the offer of reward. A
compromise was endeavoured generally at the same time, the evil invoked
being deprecated in case of restitution of the property. A most
interesting collection of such imprecations (_diræ defixiones_, or
κατάδεσμοι) was found in 1858 in the _temenos_ of the infernal deities
attached to the temple of Demeter at Cnidus. It is at present deposited
in the British Museum, where the curious reader may inspect it in the
second vase-room.

A common mode of advertising, about the same time, was by means of the
public crier, κήρυξ. In comparatively modern times our town-criers have
been proverbial for murdering the king’s English, or, at all events, of
robbing it of all elecutionary beauties. Not so among the Greeks, who
were so nice in point of oratorical power, and so offended by a vicious
pronunciation, that they would not suffer even the public crier to
proclaim their laws unless he was accompanied by a musician, who, in
case of an inexact tone, might be ready to give him the proper pitch and
expression. But this would hardly be the case when the public crier was
employed by private individuals. In Apuleius (“Golden Ass”) we are
brought face to face with one of these characters, a cunning rogue, full
of low humour, who appears to have combined the duties of crier and
auctioneer. Thus, when the slave and the ass are led out for sale, the
crier proclaims the price of each with a loud voice, joking at the same
time to the best of his abilities, in order to keep the audience in good
humour. This latter idea has not been lost sight of in more modern days.
“The crier, bawling till his throat was almost split, cracked all sorts
of ridiculous jokes upon me [the ass]. ‘What is the use,’ said he, ‘of
offering for sale this old screw of a jackass, with his foundered hoofs,
his ugly colour, his sluggishness in everything but vice, and a hide
that is nothing but a ready-made sieve? Let us even make a present of
him, if we can find any one who will not be loth to throw away hay on
the brute.’ In this way the crier kept the bystanders in roars of
laughter.”[8]

The same story furnishes further particulars regarding the ancient mode
of crying. When Psyche has absconded, Venus requests Mercury “to
proclaim her in public, and announce a reward to him who shall find
her.” She further enjoins the divine crier to “clearly describe the
marks by which Psyche may be recognised, that no one may excuse himself
on the plea of ignorance, if he incurs the crime of unlawfully
concealing her.” So saying, she gives him a little book, in which is
written Psyche’s name and sundry particulars. Mercury thereupon descends
to the earth, and goes about among all nations, where he thus proclaims
the loss of Psyche, and the reward for her return:--“If any one can
seize her in her flight, and bring back a fugitive daughter of a king, a
handmaid of Venus, by name Psyche, or discover where she has concealed
herself, let such person repair to Mercury, the crier, behind the
boundaries of Murtia,[9] and receive by way of reward for the discovery
seven sweet kisses from Venus herself, and one exquisitely delicious
touch of her charming tongue.” A somewhat similar reward is offered by
Venus in the hue and cry she raises after her fugitive son in the first
idyl of Moschus, a Syracusan poet who flourished about 250 years before
the Christian era: “If any one has seen my son Eros straying in the
cross roads, [know ye] he is a runaway. The informer shall have a
reward. The kiss of Venus shall be your pay; and if you bring him, not
the bare kiss only, but, stranger, you shall have something more.”[10]
This something more is probably the “quidquid post oscula dulce” of
Secundus, but is sufficiently vague to be anything else, and certainly
promises much more than the “will be rewarded” of our own time.

So far with the Greeks and their advertisements. Details grow more
abundant when we enter upon the subject of advertising in Rome. The
cities of Herculaneum and Pompeii, buried in the midst of their sorrows
and pleasures, their joys and cares, in the very midst of the turmoil of
life and commerce, and discovered ages after exactly as they were on the
morning of that ominous 24th of August A.D. 79, show us that the benefit
to be derived from publicity was well understood in those luxurious and
highly-cultivated cities. The walls in the most frequented parts are
covered with notices of a different kind, painted in black or red. Their
spelling is very indifferent, and the painters who busied themselves
with this branch of the profession do not appear to have aimed at
anything like artistic uniformity or high finish. Still these
advertisements, hasty and transitory as they are, bear voluminous
testimony as to the state of society, the wants and requirements, and
the actual standard of public taste of the Romans in that age. As might
be expected, advertisements of plays and gladiators are common. Of these
the public were acquainted in the following forms,--

  AEDILIS . FAMILIA . GLADIATORIA . PUGNABIT
  POMPEIS . PR . K . JUNIAS . VENATIO ET VELA
  ERUNT.

or,

  N . FESTI AMPLIATI
  FAMILIA GLADIATORIA . PUGNA ITERUM
  PUGNA . XVI . K . JVN . VENAT . VELA.[11]

Such inscriptions occur in various parts of Pompeii, sometimes written
on smooth surfaces between pilasters (denominated _albua_), at other
times painted on the walls. Places of great resort were selected for
preference, and thus it is that numerous advertisements are found under
the portico of the baths at Pompeii, where persons waited for admission,
and where notices of shows, exhibitions, or sales would be sure to
attract the attention of the weary lounger.

Baths we find advertised in the following terms,--

  THERMAE
  M . CRASSI FRUGII
  AQUA . MARINA . ET . BALN.
  AQUA . DULCI . JANUARIUS . L.

which of course means “warm, sea, and fresh water baths.” As provincials
add to their notices “as in London,” or “à la mode de Paris,” so
Pompeians and others not unfrequently proclaimed that they followed the
customs of Rome at their several establishments. Thus the keeper of a
bathing-house near Bologna acquainted the public that--

  IN . PRAEDIS
  C . LEGIANNI VERI
  BALNEUM . MORE . URBICO . LAVAT.
  OMNIA COMMODA . PRAESTANTUR.

At his establishments there were baths according to the fashion of “the
town,” besides “every convenience.” And a similar inscription occurred
by the Via Nomentana, eight miles from Rome--

  IN . PRAEDIS . AURE
  LIAE . FAUSTINIANAE
  BALINEUS . LAVAT . MO
  RE . URBICO . ET OMNIS.
  HUMANITAS . PRAESTA
  TUR.

[Illustration: _WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.--Antigonus, the hero of
2112 victories. Superbus, a comparatively unknown man. Casuntius, the
master of the latter, is supposed to be in the act of advising him to
yield to the invincible retiarius. The other figure represents Aniketos
Achilles, a great Samnite gladiator, who merited the title of
invincible._]

Those who had premises to let or sell affixed a short notice to the
house itself, and more detailed bills were posted at the “advertising
stations.” Thus in Plautus’s “Trinummus,” Act v., the indignant
Callicles says to his spendthrift son, “You have dared to put up in my
absence, and unknown to me, that this house is to be sold”--(“Ædes
venales hasce inscribit literis”). Sometimes, also, the inscription,
“Illico ædes venales” (“here is a house for sale”) appears to have been
painted on the door, or on the _album_. An auctioneer would describe a
house as “Villa bona beneque edificata” (a good and well-built house),
and full details of the premises were given in the larger placards
painted on walls. In the street of the Fullers in Pompeii occurs the
following inscription, painted in red, over another which had been
painted in black and whitewashed over,--

  IN . PRAEDIS . JULIAE . S . P . F . FELICIS
  LOCANTUR
  BALNEUM . VENEREUM . ET . NONGENTUM . PERGULAE
  CENACULA . EX . IDIBUS . AUG . PRIORIS . IN . IDUS . AUG .
  SEXTAS . ANNOS . CONTINUOS . QUINQUE.
  S . Q . D . L . E . N . C.

Which has been translated, “On the estate of Julia Felix, daughter of
Spurius Felix, are to let from the 1st to the 6th of the ides of August
(_i.e._, between August 6th and 8th), on a lease of five years, a bath,
a venereum, and nine hundred shops, bowers, and upper apartments.”[12]
The seven final initials, antiquaries, who profess to read what to
others is unreadable, explain, “They are not to let to any person
exercising an infamous profession.” But as this seems a singular clause
where there is a _venereum_ to be let, other erudites have seen in it,
“Si quis dominam loci eius non cognoverit,” and fancy that they read
underneath, “Adeat Suettum Verum,” in which case the whole should mean,
“If anybody should not know the lady of the house, let him go to Suettus
Verus.” The following is another example of the way in which Roman
landlords advertised “desirable residences,” and “commodious business
premises”--

  INSULA ARRIANA
  POLLIANA . GN . ALIF I . NIGID I MAI
  LOCANTUR . EX . I . JULIS . PRIMIS . TABERNAE
  CUM . PERGULIS . SUIS . ET COENACULA
  EQUESTRIA . ET . DOMUS . CONDUCTOR
  CONVENITO . PRIMUM GN . ALIF I
  NIGID I . MAI SER.

Said to mean, “In the Arrian Pollian block of houses, the property of
Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior, are to let from the first of the ides of
July, shops with their bowers, and gentlemen’s apartments. The hirer
must apply to the slave of Cn. Alifius Nigidius, senior.”

[Illustration: _WALL INSCRIPTIONS IN POMPEII.--Apparently remarks and
opinions expressed by inhabitants, with reference to their fancies and
favourites, in the circuses and at other public exhibitions._]

Both the Greeks and the Romans had on their houses a piece of the wall
whitened to receive inscriptions relative to their affairs. The first
called this λεύκωμα, the latter _album_. Many examples of them are found
in Pompeii, generally in very inferior writing and spelling. Even the
schoolmaster Valentinus, who on his album, as was the constant practice,
invoked the patronage of some high personages, was very loose in his
grammar, and the untoward outbreak of Vesuvius has perpetuated his
blundering use of an accusative instead of an ablative: “Cum discentes
suos.” All the Pompeian inscriptions mentioned above were painted, but a
few instances also occur of notices being merely scratched on the wall.
Thus we find in one place, “Damas audi,” and on a pier at the angle of
the house of the tragic poet is an Etruscan inscription scratched in the
wall with a nail, which has been translated by a learned Neapolitan,
“You shall hear a poem of Numerius.” But these so-called Etruscan
inscriptions are by no means so well understood as we could wish, and
their interpretation is far from incontestable. There is another on a
house of Pompeii, which has been Latinised into, “Ex hinc viatoriens
ante turri xii inibi. Sarinus Publii cauponatur. Ut adires. Vale.” That
is, “Traveller, going from here to the twelfth tower, there Sarinus
keeps a tavern. This is to request you to enter. Farewell.” This
inscription, however, is so obscure that another _savant_ has read in it
a notification that a certain magistrate, Adirens Caius, had brought the
waters of the Sarno to Pompeii--a most material difference certainly.

We are made acquainted with other Roman bills and advertisements by the
works of the poets and dramatists. Thus at Trimalchion’s banquet, in the
“Satyricon,” Pliny mentions that a poet hired a house, built an oratory,
hired forms, and dispersed prospectuses. They also read their works
publicly,[13] an occupation in which they were much interrupted and
annoyed by idlers and impertinent boys. Another mode of advertising new
works more resembled that of our own country. The Roman booksellers used
to placard their shops with the titles of the new books they had for
sale. Such was the shop of Atrectus, described by Martial--

    Contra Cæsaris est forum taberna
    Scriptis postibus hinc et inde totis
    Omnes ut cito perlegas poetas
    Illinc me pete.

  [7] Pausanias Græc., lib. viii. c. 14, Arcadia.

  [8] Apuleius, Golden Ass, Book viii., Episode 8.

  [9] The spot here mentioned was at the back of the Temple of Venus
  Myrtia (the myrtle Venus), on Mount Aventine in Rome.

  [10] Apuleius, Book vi.

  [11] That is, “The troop of gladiators of the ædil will fight on the
  31st of May. There will be fights with wild animals, and an awning to
  keep off the sun.” Wind and weather permitting, there were awnings
  over the heads of the spectators; but, generally, there appears to
  have been too much wind in this breezy summer retreat to admit of this
  luxury. “Nam ventus populo vela negare solet,” says Martial, and the
  same idea occurs in three other places in this poet’s works (vi. 9;
  xi. 21; xiv. 29). Sometimes, also, the bills of gladiators promise
  _sparsiones_, which consisted in certain sprinklings of water perfumed
  with saffron or other odours; and, as they produced what was called a
  nimbus, or cloud, the perfumes were probably dispersed over the
  audience in drops by means of pipes or spouts, or, perhaps, by some
  kind of rude engine.

  [12] Nine hundred shops in a town which would hardly contain more than
  about twelve hundred is rather incredible--perhaps it should be
  ninety. _Pergulæ_ were either porticos shaded with verdure, lattices
  with creeping plants, or small rooms above the shops, bedrooms for the
  shopkeepers. _Cœnacula_ were rooms under the terraces. When they were
  good enough to let to the higher classes they were called _equestria_
  (as in the following advertisement). Plutarch informs us that Sylla,
  in his younger days, lived in one of them, where he paid a rent of £8
  a year.

  [13] A. L. Millin, Description d’un Mosaique antique du Musée Pio.
  Clementin, à Rome, 1819, p. 9.




CHAPTER IV.

_MEDIÆVAL AND OTHER VARIETIES OF ADVERTISING._


In the ages which immediately succeeded the fall of the Roman Empire,
and the western migration of the barbarian hordes, darkness and
ignorance held paramount sway, education was at a terrible discount, and
the arts of reading and writing were confined almost entirely to the
monks and the superior clergy. In fact, it was regarded as evidence of
effeminacy for any knight or noble to be able to make marks on parchment
or vellum, or to be able to decipher them when made. Newspapers were, of
course, things undreamt of, but newsmen--itinerants who collected scraps
of information and retailed them in the towns and market-places--were
now and again to be found. The travelling packman or pedlar was,
however, the chief medium of intercommunication in the Middle Ages, and
it is not hard to imagine how welcome his appearance must have been in
those days, when a hundred miles constituted an immense and almost
interminable journey. We know how bad the roads were, and how difficult
travelling was in comparatively modern days, but we can form very little
idea of the obstacles which beset all attempts at the communication of
one commercial centre with another in the early Middle Ages. Everybody
being alike shrouded in the darkness of ignorance, it is safe to assume,
therefore, that written advertisements were quite unknown, as few beyond
those who had written them would have been able to understand them.
Nearly the whole of the laity, from the king to the villain or thrall,
were equally illiterate, and once more the public crier became the only
medium for obtaining publicity; but from the simple mode in which all
business was conducted his position was probably a sinecure. An
occasional proclamation of peace or war, or a sale of slaves or plunder,
was probably the only topic which gave him the opportunity of exercising
his eloquence. But with the increase of civilisation, and consequent
wealth and competition, the crier’s labours assumed a wider field.

The mediæval crier used to carry a horn, by means of which he attracted
the people’s attention when about to make a proclamation or publication.
Public criers appear to have formed a well-organised body in France as
early as the twelfth century; for by a charter of Louis VII., granted in
the year 1141 to the inhabitants of the province of Berry, the old
custom of the country was confirmed, according to which there were to be
only twelve criers, five of which should go about the taverns crying
with their usual cry, and carrying with them samples of the wine they
cried, in order that the people might taste. For the first time they
blew the horn they were entitled to a penny, and the same for every time
after, according to custom. These criers of wine were a French
peculiarity, of which we find no parallel in the history of England.
They perambulated the streets of Paris in troops, each with a large
wooden measure of wine in his hand, from which to make the passers-by
taste the wine they proclaimed, a mode of advertising which would be
very agreeable in the present day, but which would, we fancy, be rather
too successful for the advertiser. These wine-criers are mentioned by
John de Garlando, a Norman writer, who was probably a contemporary of
William the Conqueror. “Præcones vini,” says he, “clamant hiante gula,
vinum venumdandum in tabernis ad quatuor denarios.”[14] A quaint and
significant story is told in an old chronicle in connection with this
system of advertising. An old woman, named Adelheid, was possessed of a
strong desire to proclaim the Word of God, but not having lungs
sufficiently powerful for the noisy propagation contemplated by her, she
paid a wine-crier to go about the town, and, instead of proclaiming the
prices of the wine, to proclaim these sacred words: “God is righteous!
God is merciful! God is good and excellent!” And as the man went about
shouting these words she followed him, exclaiming, “He speaks well! he
says truly!” The poor old body hardly succeeded according to her pious
desire, for she was arrested and tried, and as it was thought she had
done this out of vanity (_causa laudis humanæ_), she was burned
alive.[15] From this it would seem that there was as much protection for
the monks in their profession as for the criers, who were very proud of
their special prerogatives.

The public criers in France, at an early period, were formed into a
corporation, and in 1258 obtained various statutes from Philip Augustus,
some of which, relating to the criers of wine, are excessively curious.
Thus it was ordained that--

“Whosoever is a crier in Paris may go to any tavern he likes and cry its
wine, provided they sell wine from the wood, and that there is no other
crier employed for that tavern; and the tavern-keeper cannot prohibit
him.

“If a crier finds people drinking in a tavern, he may ask what they pay
for the wine they drink; and he may go out and cry the wine at the
prices they pay, whether the tavern-keeper wishes it or not, provided
always that there be no other crier employed for that tavern.

“If a tavern-keeper sells wine in Paris and employs no crier, and closes
his door against the criers, the crier may proclaim that
tavern-keeper’s wine at the same price as the king’s wine (the current
price), that is to say, if it be a good wine year, at seven denarii, and
if it be a bad wine year, at twelve denarii.

“Each crier to receive daily from the tavern for which he cries at least
four denarii, and he is bound on his oath not to claim more.

“The crier shall go about crying twice a day, except in Lent, on Sundays
and Fridays, the eight days of Christmas, and the Vigils, when they
shall only cry once. On the Friday of the Adoration of the Cross they
shall cry not at all. Neither are they to cry on the day on which the
king, the queen, or any of the children of the royal family happens to
die.”

This crying of wines is frequently alluded to in those French ballads of
street-criers known as “Les crieries de Paris.” One of them has--

    Si crie l’on en plusors leus
    Li bon vin fort a trente deux,
    A seize, a douze, a six, a huict.[16]

And another--

    D’autres cris on faict plusieurs,
    Qui long seroient à reciter,
    L’on crie vin nouveau et vieu,
    Duquel on donne à tatter.[17]

Early in the Middle Ages the public crier was still called _Præco_, as
among the Romans; and an edict of the town of Tournay, dated 1368,
describes him as “the sergeant of the rod (_sergent à verge_), who makes
publications (_crie les bans_), and cries whatever else there is to be
made known to the town.” The Assizes of Jerusalem, which contained the
code of civil laws of the whole of civilised Europe during the twelfth
and thirteenth centuries, and which take us back to the most ancient
forms of our own civil institutions, make mention in the following
manner of the public crier: “Whosoever desires to sell anything by
auction, must have it proclaimed by the crier, who is appointed by the
lord viscount; and nobody else has a right to make any publication by
crying. If anybody causes any such auction to be proclaimed by any other
than the public crier, then the lord has a right by assize and custom to
claim the property so cried as his own, and the crier shall be at the
mercy of the lord. And whoever causes anything to be cried by the
appointed public crier in any other way than it ought to be cried, and
in any other way than is done by the lord or his representative, the
lord may claim the property as his own, and the crier who thus cries it
shall be amenable for falsehood, and is at the mercy of the lord, who
may take from him all he possesses. But if he [the lord] does not do
that, then he shall not suffer any other punishment; and if he be
charged, he must be believed on his oath.”

From these very stringent and protective regulations it appears, then,
that at this early period the public criers, or _præcones_, appointed by
the lord, had the exclusive right of proclaiming all sales by auction,
not only voluntary, but also judicial, of movables, as well as of
fixtures; of “personal,” as well as of “real” property.

In England criers appear to have been also a national institution at an
early period. They were sworn to sell truly and well to the best of
their power and ability. They proclaimed the cause of the condemnation
of all criminals, and made proclamations of every kind, except as
concerned matters ecclesiastical, which were exclusively the province of
the archbishop. They also cried all kinds of goods. In London we find
Edmund le Criour mentioned in the documents relating to the Guildhall as
early as 1299. That criers used horns, as in France, appears from the
will of a citizen of Bristol, dated 1388, who, disposing of some house
property, desires “that the tenements so bequeathed shall be sold
separately by the sound of the trumpet at the high cross of Bristol,
without any fraud or collusion.” In Ipswich it was still customary in
the last century to proclaim the meetings of the town council, the
previous night at twelve o’clock, by the sound of a large horn, which is
still preserved in the town hall of that borough. These horns were
provided by the mayors of the different towns.

[Illustration: O PER SE O, OR A NEW CRYER.

“THE BELMAN OF LONDON.”

_From_ _Thomas Decker’s Lanthorne and Candle Light; or, The Bell-Man’s
Second Night’s Walke._ 1608-9.]

The public crier, then, was the chief organ by which the mediæval
shopkeeper, in the absence of what we now know as “advertising mediums,”
obtained publicity: it was also customary for most traders to have
touters at their doors, who did duty as living advertisements. In low
neighbourhoods this system still obtains, especially in connection with
cheap photographic establishments, whose “doorsmen” select as a rule the
most improbable people for their attentions, but compensate for this by
their pertinacity and glibness. Possibly the triumph is the greater when
the customer has been persuaded quite out of his or her original
intentions. Most trades, in early times, were almost exclusively
confined to certain streets, and as all the shops were alike
unpretending, and open to the gaze--in fact, were stalls or booths--it
behoved the shopkeeper to do something in order to attract customers.
This he effected sometimes by means of a glaring sign, sometimes by
means of a man or youth standing at the door, and vociferating with the
full power of his lungs, “What d’ye lack, sir? what d’ye lack?” Our
country is rather deficient in that kind of mediæval literature known in
France as _dicts_ and _fabliaux_, which teem with allusions to this
custom of touting, which is noticeable, though, in Lydgate’s ballad of
“London Lyckpenny” (Lack-penny), written in the first half of the
fifteenth century. There we see the shopmen standing at the door, trying
to outbawl each other to gain the custom of the passers-by. The spicer
or grocer bids the Kentish countryman to come and buy some spice,
pepper, or saffron. In Cheapside, the mercers bewilder him with their
velvet, silk, and lawn, and lay violent hands on him, in order to show
him their “Paris thread, the finest in the land.” Throughout all Canwick
(now Cannon Street), he is persecuted by drapers, who offer him cloth;
and in other parts, particularly in East Cheap, the keepers of the
eating-houses sorely tempt him with their cries of “Hot sheep’s feet,
fresh maqurel, pies, and ribs of beef.” At last he falls a prey to the
tempting invitation of a taverner, who makes up to him from his door
with a cringing bow, and taking him by the sleeve, pronounces the words,
“Sir, will you try our wine?” with such an insinuating and irresistible
accent, that the Kentish man enters and spends his only penny in that
tempting and hospitable house. Worthy old Stow supposes this interesting
incident to have happened at the Pope’s Head, in Cornhill, and bids us
enjoy the knowledge of the fact, that for his one penny the countryman
had a pint of wine, and “for bread nothing did he pay, for that was
allowed free” in those good old days. Free luncheons, though rare now,
were commonly bestowed in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries on
regular drinkers; and the practice of giving food to those who pay for
drink is still current in many parts of the United States. The
“Lyckpenny” story is one of the few instances in English literature of
this early period, in which the custom of touting at shop doors is
distinctly mentioned, but, as before remarked, the French _fabliaux_
abound with such allusions. In the story of “Courtois d’Arras”--a
travestie of the Prodigal Son in a thirteenth-century garb--Courtois
finds the host standing at his door shouting, “Bon vin de Soissons, à
six deniers le lot.” And in a mediæval mystery entitled “Li Jus de S.
Nicolas,” the innkeeper, standing on the threshold, roars out, that in
his house excellent dinners are to be had, with warm bread and warm
herrings, and barrelfuls of Auxerre wine: “Céans il fait bon diner,
céans il y a pain chaud et harengs chauds, et vin d’Auxerre à plein
tonneau.” In the “Trois Aveugles de Compiègne,” the thirsty wanderers
hear mine host proclaiming in the street that he has “good, cool, and
new wine, from Auxerre and from Soissons; bread and meat, and wine and
fish: within is a good place to spend your money; within is
accommodation for all kind of people; here is good lodging:”--

    Ci a bon vin fres et nouvel
    Ça d’Auxerre, ça de Soissons,
    Pain, et char, et vin, et poissons,
    Céens fet bon despendre argent,
    Ostel i a à toute gent
    Céens fet moult bon heberger.

And in the “Débats et facétieuses rencontres de Gringald et de Guillot
Gorgen, son maistre,” the servant, who would not pay his reckoning,
excuses himself, saying, “The taverner is more to blame than I, for as I
passed before his door, and he being seated at it as usual, called to
me, saying, ‘Will you be pleased to breakfast here? I have good bread,
good wine, and good meat.’” “Le tavernier a plus de tort que moy; car,
passant devant sa porte, et luy étant assiz (ainsy qu’ils sont
ordinairement) il me cria, me disant: Vous plaist-il de dejeuner céans?
Il y a de bon pain, de bon vin, et de bonne viande.”

Other modes of advertising, of a less obtrusive nature, were, however,
in use at the same time; as in Rome, written handbills were affixed in
public places; and almost as soon as the art of printing was discovered,
it was applied to the purpose of multiplying advertisements of this
kind. We may fairly assume that one of the very first posters ever
printed in England was that by which Caxton announced, circa 1480, the
sale of the “Pyes of Salisbury use,”[18] at the Red Pole, in the
Almonry, Westminster. Of this first of broadsides two copies are still
extant, one in the Bodleian Library, at Oxford, the other in Earl
Spencer’s library. Their dimensions are five inches by seven, and their
contents as follows:--

  ^If it please ony man spirituel or temporel to bye our pyes of two or
  thre comemoracio’s of Salisburi use, emprynted after the form of this
  prese’t letre, whiche ben wel and truly correct, late hym come to
  Westmonester, into the almonestrye at the reed pole and he shal haue
  them good and chepe:^

  ^Supplico stet cedula.^

Foreigners appear to have appreciated the boon of this kind of
advertising equally rapidly, although, from the fugitive nature of such
productions, copies of their posters are rarely to be found. Still an
interesting list of books, printed by Coburger at Nuremberg in the
fifteenth century, is preserved in the British Museum, to which is
attached the following heading: “Cupientes emere libros infra notatos
venient ad hospitium subnotatum,” &c.--_i.e._, “Those who wish to buy
the books hereunder mentioned, must come to the house now named,” &c.
The Parisian printers soon went a step further. Long before the
invention of the typographic art, the University had compelled the
booksellers to advertise in their shop windows any new manuscripts they
might obtain. But after the invention of printing they soon commenced to
proclaim the wonderful cheapness of the works they produced. It did not
strike them, however, that this might have been done effectually on a
large scale, and they were content to extol the low price of the work in
the book itself. Such notices as the following are common in early
books. Ulric Gering, in his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” 1500, allays the
fear of the public with a distich:--“Don’t run away on account of the
price,” he says. “Come rich and poor; this excellent work is sold for a
very small sum:”--

    Ne fugite ob pretium: dives pauperque venite
    Hoc opus excellens venditur ære brevi.

Berthold Remboldt subjoins to his edition of “S. Bruno on the Psalms,”
1509, the information that he does not lock away his wares (books) like
a miser, but that anybody can carry them away for very little money.

    Istas Bertholdus merces non claudit avarus
    Exiguis nummis has studiose geres.

And in his “Corpus Juris Canonici,” he boasts that this splendid volume
is to be had for a trifling sum, after having, with considerable labour,
been weeded of its misprints.

    Hoc tibi præclarum modico patet ære volumen
    Abstersum mendis non sine Marte suis.

Thielman Kerver, Jean Petit, and various other printers, give similar
intelligence to the purchasers of their works. Sometimes they even
resort to the process of having a book puffed on account of its
cheapness by editors or scholars of known eminence, who address the
public on behalf of the printer. Thus in a work termed by the French
savant Chevillier, “Les Opuscules du Docteur Almain,” printed by
Chevalon and Gourmont, 1518, a certain dignified member of the
University condescends to inform the public that they have to be
grateful to the publishers for the beautiful and cheap book they have
produced:--“Gratias agant Claudio Chevallon et Ægydio Gourmont, qui
pulchris typis et characteribus impressum opus hoc vili dant pretio.”
This, be it observed, is the earliest instance of the puff direct which
has so far been discovered.

Meanwhile, though the art of printing had become established, and was
daily taking more and more work out of the hands of scribes, writing
continued to be almost the only advertising media for wellnigh two
centuries longer. Like the ancient advertisement already noticed, that
of Venus about her runaway son, they commenced almost invariably with
the words “If anybody,” or, if in Latin, _Si quis_; and from these last
two words they obtained their name. They were posted in the most
frequented parts of the towns, preferably near churches; and hence has
survived the practice of attaching to church doors lists of voters and
various other notifications, particularly in villages. In the metropolis
one of the places used for this purpose may probably have been London
Stone. In “Pasquil and Marforius,” 1589, we read, “Set up this bill at
London Stone; let it be done solemnly with drum and trumpet;” and
further on in the same pamphlet, “If it please them, these dark winter
nights, to stick up these papers upon London Stone.” These two allusions
are, however, not particularly conclusive.

In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries the principal place for
affixing a _siquis_ was in the middle aisle of St Paul’s. From the era
of the Reformation to the Restoration, all sorts of disorderly conduct
was practised in the old cathedral. A lengthy catalogue of improper
customs and disgusting practices might be collected from the works of
the period, and bills were stuck up in various parts to restrain the
grossest abuses. “At every door of this church,” says Weever, “was
anciently this vers depicted; and in my time [he died in 1632] it might
be perfectly read at the great south door, _Hic Locus sacer est, hic
nulli mingere fas est_.”

There were also within the sacred edifice tobacco, book, and sempstress’
shops; there was a pillar at which serving-men stood for hire, and
another place where lawyers had their regular stands, like merchants on
’Change. At the period when Decker wrote his curious “Gull’s Horn-Book”
(1609), and for many years after, the cathedral was the lounging place
for all idlers and hunters after news, as well as of men of almost
every profession, cheats, usurers, and knights of the post. The
cathedral was likewise a seat of traffic and negotiation, even pimps and
procuresses had their stations there; and the font itself, if credit may
be given to a black-letter tract on the “Detestable Use of Dice-play,”
printed early in Elizabeth’s reign, was made a place for the advance and
payment of loans, and the sealing of indentures and obligations for the
security of the moneys borrowed. Such a busy haunt was, of course, the
very best place for bills and advertisements to be posted.

No bonâ fide _siquis_ has come down to us, but it appears that among
them the applications for ecclesiastics were very common, as Bishop
Earle in his “Microcosmographia,” published in 1629, describes “Paul’s
Walke” as the “market of young lecturers, whom you may cheapen here at
all rates and sizes;” and this allusion is confirmed by a passage in
Bishop Hall’s “Satires” (B. ii. s. 5), in which also the custom of
affixing advertisements to a particular door is distinctly noticed:--

    Saw’st thou ere _siquis_ patch’d on Paul’s church door
    To seek some vacant vicarage before?
    Who wants a churchman that can service say,
    Read fast and fair his monthly homily,
    And wed, and bury, and make cristen souls,
    Come to the _left side alley_ of St Poule’s.

But the _siquis_ door was not confined to notices of ecclesiastical
matters; it was appropriated generally to the variety of applications
that is now to be found in the columns of a newspaper or the books of a
registry office. Though no authentic specimens of the _siquis_ remain,
we are possessed of several imitations, as the old dramatists delighted
in reproducing the inflated language of these documents. Thus, in
Holiday’s “Technogamia” (1618), Act i. scene 7, Geographus sets up the
following notice:--

  If there be any gentleman that, for the accomplishing of his natural
  endowment, intertaynes a desire of learning the languages; especially
  the nimble French, maiestik Spanish, courtly Italian, masculine Dutch,
  happily compounding Greek, mysticall Hebrew, and physicall Arabicke;
  or that is otherwise transported with the admirable knowledge of
  forraine policies, complimentall behaviour, naturall dispositions, or
  whatsoever else belongs to any people or country under heaven; he
  shall, to his abundant satisfaction, be made happy in his expectation
  and successe if he please to repair to the signe of the Globe.

Again, Ben Jonson’s “Every Man out of his Humour” introduces Shift, “a
threadbare shark,” whose “profession is skeldring and odling, his bank
Paul’s.” Speaking of Shift in the opening scene of the third act, which
the dramatist has laid in “the middle aisle of Paules,” Cordatus says
that Shift is at that moment in Paules “for the advancement of a
_siquis_ or two, wherein he hath so varied himselfe, that if any one of
them take, he may hull up and doune in the humorous world a little
longer.” Shift’s productions deserved to succeed, as they were
masterpieces of their kind, and might even now, though the world is so
much older, and professes to be so much wiser, be studied with advantage
by gentlemen who cultivate the literature of advertisements in the
interest of certain firms. Here are some of his compositions, which
would certainly shine among the examples of the present day:--

  If there be any lady or gentlewoman of good carriage that is desirous
  to entertain to her private uses a young, straight, and upright
  gentleman, of the age of five or six and twenty at the most; who can
  serve in the nature of a gentleman usher, and hath little legs of
  purpose,[19] and a black satin suit of his own to go before her in;
  which suit, for the more sweetening, now lies in lavender;[20] and can
  hide his face with her fan if need require, or sit in the cold at the
  stair foot for her, as well as another gentleman; let her subscribe
  her name and place, and diligent respect shall be given.

The following is even an improvement:--

  If this city, or the suburbs of the same, do afford any young
  gentleman of the first, second, or third head, more or less, whose
  friends are but lately deceased, and whose lands are but new come into
  his hands, that, to be as exactly qualified as the best of our
  ordinary gallants are, is affected to entertain the most gentlemanlike
  use of tobacco; as first to give it the most exquisite perfume; then
  to know all the delicate, sweet forms for the assumption of it; as
  also the rare corollary and practice of the Cuban ebolition, euripus
  and whiff,[21] which we shall receive or take in here at London, and
  evaporate at Uxbridge, or farther, if it please him. If there be any
  such generous spirit, that is truly enamour’d of these good faculties;
  may it please him but by a note of his hand to specify the place or
  ordinary where he uses to eat and lie; and most sweet attendance with
  tobacco and pipes of the best sort, shall be ministered. _Stet quæso,
  candide lector._

It is noticeable that most of these advertisements commence with the
English equivalent for the Latin _si quis_, and furthermore that Ben
Jonson concludes with the same formula as Caxton, _stet quæso_,
imploring the “candid reader” not to tear off the bill. The word
_siquis_ is of frequent occurrence in the old writers. Green, for
instance, in his “Tu Quoque,” says of certain women that “they stand
like the devil’s _siquis_ at a tavern or alehouse door.” At present the
term has more particular reference to ecclesiastical matters. A
candidate for holy orders who has not been educated at the University,
or has been absent some time from thence, is still obliged to have his
intention proclaimed, by having a notice to that effect hung up in the
church of the place where he has recently resided. If, after a certain
time, no objection is made, a certificate of his _siquis_, signed by the
churchwardens, is given to him to be presented to the bishop when he
seeks ordination.

At the time when the _siquis_ was the most common form of
advertisement, other methods were used in order to give publicity to
certain events. There were the proclamations of the will of the King,
and of the Lord Mayor, whose edicts were proclaimed by the common
trumpeter. There were also two richly carved and gilt posts at the door
of the Sheriff’s office,[22] on which (some annotators of old plays say)
it was customary to stick enactments of the Town Council. The common
crier further made known matters of minor and commercial importance, and
every shopkeeper still kept an apprentice at his door to attract the
attention of the passers-by with a continuous “What do you lack,
master?” or “mistress,” followed by a voluble enumeration of the wares
vended by his master. The bookseller, as in ancient Rome, still
advertised his new works by placards posted against his shop, or fixed
in cleft sticks. This we gather from an epigram of Ben Jonson to his
bookseller, in which he enjoins him rather to sell his works to
Bucklersbury, to be used for wrappers and bags, than to force their sale
by the usual means:--

    Nor have my little leaf on post or walls,
    Or in cleft sticks advancèd to make calls
    For termers or some clerk-like serving-man.

Announcements of shows were given in the manner still followed by the
equestrian circus troops in provincial towns, viz., by means of bills
and processions. Thus notice of bearbaitings was given by the bears
being led about the town, preceded by a flag and some noisy instruments.
In the Duke of Newcastle’s play of “The Humorous Lovers” (1677), the
sham bearward says, “I’ll set up my bills, that the gamesters of London,
Horseleydown, Southwark, and Newmarket, may come in and bait him before
the ladies. But first, boy, go, fetch me a bagpipe; we will walk the
streets in triumph, and give the people notice of our sport.” Such a
procession was, of course, a noisy one, and for that reason it was one
of the plagues the mischievous page sent to torment Morose, “the
gentleman that loves no noise,” in Ben Jonson’s “Silent Woman.” “I
entreated a bearward one day,” says the page, “to come down with the
dogs of some four parishes that way, and I thank him he did, and cried
his game under Master Morose’s window.” And in Howard’s “English
Monsieur” (1674), William, a country youth, says, “I saw two
rough-haired things led by the nose with two strings, and a bull like
ours in the country, with a brave garland about his head, and an horse,
and the least gentleman upon him that ever I saw in my life, and brave
bagpipes playing before ’um;” which is explained by Comely as occasioned
by its being “bearbaiting day, and he has met with the bull, and the
bears, and the jack-an-apes on horseback.” Trials of skill in the noble
art of self-defence were announced in a similar manner, by the
combatants promenading the streets divested of their upper garments,
with their sleeves tucked up, sword or cudgel in hand, and preceded by a
drum. Finally, for the use of the community at large, there was the
bellman or town crier, a character which occupies a prominent place in
all the old sets of “Cries of London.” In one of the earliest
collections of that kind,[23] engraved early in the seventeenth century,
we see him represented with a bunch of keys in his hand, which he no
doubt proclaims as “found.” Underneath is the following “notice:”--

    O yes. Any man or woman that
    Can tell any tidings of a little
    Mayden-childe of the age of 24
    Yeares. Bring word to the cryar
    And you shall be pleased for your labour
    And God’s blessing.

This was an old joke, which, more or less varied, occurs always under
the print of the town crier. The prototype of this venerable witticism
may be found in the tragedy of “Soliman and Perseda” (1599), where one
of the characters says that he

                                 ------ had but sixpence
    For crying a little wench of thirty yeeres old and upwardes,
    That had lost herself betwixt a taverne and a b----y house.

Notwithstanding the immense development of advertising since the spread
of newspapers, the services of the bellman are still used in most of the
country towns of the United Kingdom, and even in London there are still
bellmen and parish criers, though their offices would appear to be
sinecures. The provincial crier’s duties are of the most various
description, and relate to objects lost or found, sales by public
auction or private contract, weddings, christenings, and funerals. Not
much more than a century ago the burgh of Lanark was so poor that there
was in it only one butcher, and even he dared never venture on killing a
sheep till every part of the animal was ordered beforehand. When he felt
disposed to engage in such an enterprise, he usually prevailed upon the
minister, the provost, and the members of the town council to take a
joint each; but when shares were not subscribed for readily, the sheep
received a respite. On such occasion the services of the bellman, or
“skelligman,” as he was there named, were called into request, and that
official used to perambulate the streets of Lanark acquainting the
lieges with the butcher’s intentions in the following rhyme:--

            Bell-ell-ell!
          There’s a fat sheep to kill!
          A leg for the provost,
            Another for the priest,
          The bailies and the deacons
            They’ll tak’ the neist;
    And if the fourth leg we canna sell,
    The sheep it maun leeve, and gae back to the hill!

Sir Walter Scott, in one of his notes, gives a quaint specimen of vocal
advertising. In the old days of Scotland, when persons of property
(unless they happened to be nonjurors) were as regular as their
inferiors in attendance on parochial worship, there was a kind of
etiquette in waiting till the patron, or acknowledged great man of the
parish, should make his appearance. This ceremonial was so sacred in the
eyes of a parish beadle in the Isle of Bute, that the kirk bell being
out of order, he is said to have mounted the steeple every Sunday to
imitate with his voice the successive summonses which its mouth of metal
used to send forth. The first part of this imitative harmony was simply
the repetition of the words, “Bell, bell, bell, bell!” two or three
times, in a manner as much resembling the sound as throat of flesh could
imitate throat of iron. “Bellùm, Bellùm!” was sounded forth in a more
urgent manner; but he never sent forth the third and conclusive peal,
the varied tone of which is called in Scotland the “ringing-in,” until
the two principal heritors of the parish approached, when the chime ran
thus--

          Bellùm Bellèllum,
    Bernera and Knockdow’s coming!
          Bellùm Bellèllum,
    Bernera and Knockdow’s coming!

A story is also told of an old Welsh beadle, who, having no bell to his
church, or the bell being out of order, used to mount the tower before
the service on Sundays, and advertise the fact that they were just about
to begin, in imitation of the chimes, and in compliment to the most
conspicuous patronymics in the congregation list, thus--

          Shon Morgan, Shon Shones,
          Shon Morgan, Shon Shones,
    Shon Shenkin, Shon Morgan, Shon Shenkin,
                Shon Shones!

Continued _à discretion_. And with this most singular form of vocal
advertising we will conclude the chapter.

  [14] Glossary, cap. xxvii. “Wine-criers cry with open mouth the wine
  which is for sale in the taverns at four farthings.”

  [15] Chronicles of the Monk Alberic des Trois Fontaines, under the
  year 1235.

  [16] All around here they cry wine at the rate
       Of thirty-two, sixteen, twelve, six, and eight.

  [17] To name the other cries our time would waste--
       They cry old wine and new, and bid you taste.

  [18] No savoury meat-pies, as some gastronomic reader might think,
  since they came from the county of sausage celebrity, but a collection
  of rules, as practised in the diocese of Salisbury, to show the
  priests how to deal, under every possible variation in Easter, with
  the concurrence of more than one office on the same day. These rules
  varied in the different dioceses.

  [19] Small calveless legs are mentioned as characteristic of a
  gentleman in many of our old plays, and will be observed in most
  full-length portraits of the sixteenth and seventeenth century.

  [20] To “lie in lavender” was a cant term for being in pawn.

  [21] Tricks performed with tobacco smoke were fashionable amongst the
  gallants of the period, and are recommended in Decker’s “Gull’s
  Horn-Book,” and commended in many old plays. Making rings of smoke was
  a favourite amusement in those days.

  [22] See prints in “Archæologia,” xix. p. 383.

  [23] _Vide_ Decker’s “Belman of London: Bringing to Light the most
  notorious Villanies that are now practised in the Kingdome.” London,
  1608.




CHAPTER V.

_NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING FORESHADOWED--ITS EARLIEST USE--HOUGHTON’S
LESSONS._


By this time, and in various ways, the first transitory glimpses of a
system at present all-powerful and universal began to show
themselves--vague and uncertain, and often unsatisfactory, it must be
admitted, but still the first evidences of the growth of an unparalleled
institution; in fact, the base upon which the institution eventually
reared itself. With improvements in printing, and the invention of
movable type, the supply of pamphlets on current topics--the first rude
forerunners of the newspaper as we understand it--began to be enlarged,
and this opportunity was not lost on the bold spirits who even in those
days could understand the advantages bound to accrue from a system of
intercommunication at once advantageous to buyer and seller, and calling
for special attention from both. There is a wonderful amount of
attraction about these discoloured and moth-eaten papers, with their
rude types and quaint spelling, which breathe, as much as do the words
themselves, the spirit of a bygone age, and those who are so fond of
praising past times might receive a valuable lesson from the perusal of
these occasional publications, which are full of the spirit of an age
when comfort, as we understand the word, was unknown to even the
wealthy; when travelling was a luxury--a woeful luxury, it must be
admitted--known only to those possessed of ample means, or others called
forth on special or desperate missions; when men lived long, and, as
they thought, eventful lives, within a circle of half-a-dozen miles; and
when the natural consequences of this isolation, ignorance and
intolerance, held almost absolute sway over the length and breadth of
the land. And in these old papers, as we get nearer and nearer to modern
times, can be traced the gradual benefit which accrued from man’s
intercourse with man, not only by the construction and improvement of
roads, and the introduction of and competition among stage coaches, but
by means of the subject of this work,--and very much by their means
too,--advertisements.

As early as 1524, pamphlets or small books of news were printed in
Vienna and other parts of Germany, but their publication was very
irregular, and little or nothing is known of them beyond the fact of
their being. It is not easy to determine which nation first found its
way towards newspaper advertisements, but there is good reason to
believe that France is entitled to the honour, so far as regular and
consecutive business is concerned. The _Journal Général d’Affiches_,
better known as the _Petites Affiches_, was first published on the 14th
of October 1612. It obtained from Louis XIII. by letters-patent sundry
privileges which were subsequently confirmed (1628 and 1635). Judging by
the title of this publication, it would appear to have been an
advertising medium, but this must be left to surmise, there being no
opportunity, so far as we are aware, of inspecting the earliest numbers.
Two centuries and a half have passed away since the first appearance of
this periodical, and the _Petites Affiches_ has neither changed its
title, nor, it may be fairly presumed, the nature of its publicity. It
is now the journal of the domestic wants of France; and servants seeking
situations, or persons wanting servants, advertise in it in preference
to all others. It is especially the medium for announcing any public or
private sales of property, real or personal; and the publication of
partnership deeds, articles of association of public companies, and
other legal notices, are required to be inserted in the _Journal des
Petites Affiches_, which is published in a small octavo form.

The oldest newspaper paragraph approaching to an advertisement yet met
with, is in one of those early German newsbooks preserved in the British
Museum. It is printed in 1591, without name of place, and contains all
the memorable occurrences of the years 1588 and 1589, such as the defeat
of the Armada, the murder of King Henry III. of France, and other stale
matter of the same kind; a curious instance of the tardiness with which
news, whether good or ill, travelled in those times. Among the many
signs and tokens which were then supposed to give warning of divine
wrath at the general wickedness of mankind, was an unknown plant which
had made its appearance in one of the suburbs of the town of Soltwedel.
It grew in a garden amongst other plants, but nobody had ever seen its
like. A certain Dr Laster thereupon wrote a book describing the plant,
and giving a print of it in the frontispiece. “This book,” says the
pamphlet, “which as yet is not much known, shows and explains all what
this plant contains. Magister Cunan has published it, and Matthew Welack
has printed it, in Wittemberg. Let whoever does not yet know the meaning
of this [portend] buy the book at once, and read it with all possible
zeal:”--

    Ein wunderlichs Gewechs man hat,
      Von Soltwedel der Alten stad,
    Der Berber die Vorstadt genand,
      Gefunden welchs gar niemand kend.
    In einem Garten gewachsen ist,
      Bey andern Kreutern ist gewis,
    Sein Conterfey und recht gestalt,
      Wird auffm Tittel gezeiget bald,
    Ein Buch Hoffarts Laster genand,
      Welches jetzt noch sehr unbekand
    Darin gewiesen und vermied,
      Was das gewechse in sich hilt,
    Mag: Cunaw hats geben an den Tag
      Zu Wittemberg druckts Matths Welack,
    Wer des bedeutung noch nicht weis
      Kauff das Buch lisz mit allem fleis.

Though this is an advertisement to all intents and purposes, still it is
of the kind now best known amongst those most interested as “puff pars,”
and is similar to those that the early booksellers frequently inserted
in their works. It is therefore not unlikely that the book in question
and the newsletter were printed at the same shop. Another, in fact,
_the_ earliest instance of newspaper advertising, is that of Nathaniel
Butler; still this also only relates to books. The first genuine
miscellaneous advertisements yet discovered occur in a Dutch
black-letter newspaper, which was published in the reign of our James
I., without name or title. The advertisement in question is inserted at
the end of the folio half-sheet which contains the news, November 21,
1626, and, in a type different from the rest of the paper, gives notice
that there will be held a sale by auction of articles taken out of
prizes, viz., sugar, ivory, pepper, tobacco, and logwood. At that time
there appeared two newspapers in Amsterdam, and it is not a little
curious that Broer Jansz[24] occasionally advertised the books he
published in the paper of his rival, which was entitled “Courant from
Italy and Germany.” Gradually the advertisements become more frequent,
the following being some of them literally translated. The first is from
the _Courante uyt Italien ende Duytschland_ of July 23, 1633:--

  With the last ships from the East Indies have been brought an
  elephant, a tiger, and an Indian stag, which are to be seen at the Old
  Glass house, for the benefit of the poor, where many thousands of
  people visit them.

[Illustration: The _Hollandsche Mercurius_, which was issued more than
two hundred years ago, showed great interest in English affairs,
especially with regard to the Civil War. It was much inclined to the
Royal cause; and when in 1653 Cromwell assumed supreme power, the above
was issued as a title, and purported to show the various events which
had recently passed in Great Britain.]

  The heirs of the late Mr Bernardus Paludanus, Doctor, of the City of
  Enkhuyzen, will sell his world-famed museum in lots, by public
  auction, or by private contract, on the 1st of August, 1634.

The two following are taken from the _Tydinghen_, the first appearing on
May 27, 1634:--

  The Burgomasters and Council of the town of Utrecht have been pleased
  to found in this old and famous town, an illustrious school
  [university], at which will be taught and explained the sacred
  Theology and Jurisprudence, besides Philosophy, History, and similar
  sciences. And it will commence and open at Whitsuntide of this present
  year.

A few days after, on June 7th, the inauguration of this school is
advertised as about to take place on the ensuing Tuesday. There is one
instance of an advertisement from a foreign country being inserted in
this paper; it runs as follows, and is dated June 2, 1635:--

  Licentiate Grim, British preacher and professor at the University of
  Wesel, has published an extensive treatise against all popish
  scribblers, entitled “Papal Sanctimony,” that is, catholic and
  authentic proof that Pope John VIII., commonly called Pope Jutte
  [Joan], was a woman.

In England the first bonâ fide attempt at newspaper work was attempted
in 1622, when the outbreak of the great Civil War caused an unusual
demand to be made for news, and as the appetite grew by what it fed on,
this unwonted request for information may be regarded as the
fount-spring of that vast machine which “liners” delight to call “the
fourth estate.” It was this demand which suggested to one Nathaniel
Butler, a bookseller and a pamphleteer of twelve years’ standing, the
idea of printing a weekly newspaper from the Venetian gazettes, which
used to circulate in manuscript. After one or two preliminary attempts,
he acquired sufficient confidence in his publication to issue the
following advertisement:--

  If any gentleman or other accustomed to buy the weekly relations of
  newes be desirous to continue the same, let them know that the writer,
  or transcriber rather, of this newes, hath published two former newes,
  the one dated the 2nd and the other the 13th of August, all of which
  do carry a like title with the arms of the King of Bohemia on the
  other side of the title-page, and have dependence one upon another:
  which manner of writing and printing he doth purpose to continue
  weekly by God’s assistance from the best and most certain
  intelligence: farewell, this twenty-three of August, 1622.

Like most innovations, this attempt met with an indifferent reception,
and was greeted in the literary world with a shower of invective. Even
Ben Jonson joined in the outcry, and ridiculed the newspaper office in
his “Staple of News,” in which, among other notions, he publishes the
paradox, as it now appears to us, that the information contained in the
gazette “had ceased to be news by being printed.” Butler’s venture seems
to have been anything but a success, and but for the fact that it gave
rise to speculation on the subject of newspapers, and laid the
foundation of our periodical literature, might, so far at all events as
its promoter was concerned, never have had an existence. But the idea
lost no ground, and newspapers began to make their way, though they did
not assume anything like regularity, or definite shape and character,
for nearly half a century. None of these precursors of newspaper history
exceeded in size a single small leaf, and the quantity of news contained
in fifty of them would be exceeded by a single issue of the present day.

What is generally supposed to be, but is not, the first authenticated
advertisement is the following, the political and literary significance
of which is apparent at a glance. It appears in the _Mercurius
Politicus_ for January 1652:--

  IRENODIA GRATULATORIA, an Heroick Poem; being a congratulatory
  panegyrick for my Lord General’s late return, summing up his successes
  in an exquisite manner.

  To be sold by John Holden, in the New Exchange, London. Printed by
  Tho. Newcourt, 1652.

In this chapter we have no intention of giving any specimens beyond
those which are striking and characteristic. In subsequent chapters we
shall carry the history in an unbroken line to modern times, but our
intention is now to select special instances and specimens of
particular interest, and so we pass on to what may be almost considered
a landmark in the history of our civilisation and refinement, the
introduction of tea. The _Mercurius Politicus_ of September 30, 1658,
sets forth--

  THAT Excellent, and by all Physicians, approved, _China_ drink, called
  by the Chineans _Tcha_, by other nations _Tay_ alias _Tee_, is sold at
  the Sultaness Head Cophee-House, in Sweeting’s Rents, by the Royal
  Exchange, London.

This announcement then marks an era; it shows that “l’impertinente
nouveauté du siècle,” as the French physician, Guy Patin, called it in
his furious diatribes, has not only made its advent, but is fighting its
way forward. Patin is not without followers even in the present day,
many people who would be surprised if accused of wanting in sense
believing all “slops” to be causes of degeneracy. It must be observed
that this is not the first acquaintance of our countrymen with the
Chinese leaf--the advertisement simply shows the progress it is
making--as tea is said to have been occasionally sold in England as
early as 1635, at the exorbitant price of from £6 to £10 per pound.
Thomas Garway, a tobacconist and coffee-house keeper in Exchange Alley,
the founder of Garraway’s Coffee-house, was the first who sold and
retailed tea, recommending it, as always has been, and always will be
the case with new articles of diet, as a panacea for all disorders flesh
is heir to. The following shop-bill, being more curious than any
historical account we have of the early use of “the cup that cheers but
not inebriates,” will be found well worth reading:--

  Tea in England hath been sold in the leaf for £6, and sometimes for
  £10 the pound weight, and in respect of its former scarceness and
  dearness it hath been only used as a regalia in high treatments and
  entertainments, and presents made thereof to princes and grandees till
  the year 1657. The said Garway did purchase a quantity thereof, and
  first sold the said tea in leaf or drink, made according to the
  directions of the most knowing merchants into those Eastern countries.
  On the knowledge of the said Garway’s continued care and industry in
  obtaining the best tea, and making drink thereof very many noblemen,
  physicians, merchants, &c., have ever since sent to him for the said
  leaf, and daily resort to his house to drink the drink thereof. He
  sells tea from 16s. to 50s. a pound.

The opposition beverage, coffee--mention is made of the “cophee-house”
in the “Tcha” advertisement--had been known in this country some years
before, a Turkey merchant of London, of the name of Edwards, having
brought the first bag of coffee to London, and his Greek servant, Pasqua
Rosee, was the first to open a coffee-house in London. This was in 1652,
the time of the Protectorate, and one Jacobs, a Jew, had opened a
similar establishment in Oxford a year or two earlier. Pasqua Rosee’s
coffee-house was in St Michael’s Alley, Cornhill. One of his original
handbills is preserved in the British Museum, and is a curious record of
a remarkable social innovation. It is here reprinted:--

  THE VERTUE OF THE COFFEE DRINK,
  _First made and publicly sold in England by_
  _PASQUA ROSEE_.

  The grain or berry called coffee, groweth upon little trees only in
  the deserts of Arabia. It is brought from thence and drunk generally
  throughout all the Grand Seignour’s dominions. It is a simple,
  innocent thing, composed into a drink, by being dried in an oven, and
  ground to powder, and boiled up with spring water, and about half a
  pint of it to be drunk fasting an hour before, and not eating an hour
  after, and to be taken as hot as can possibly be endured; the which
  will never fetch the skin of the mouth, or raise any blisters by
  reason of that heat.

  The Turk’s drink at meals and other times is usually water, and their
  diet consists much of fruit; the acidities whereof are very much
  corrected by this drink.

  The quality of this drink is cold and dry; and though it be a drier;
  yet it neither heats nor inflames more than hot posset. It so
  incloseth the orifice of the stomach, and fortifies the heat within,
  that it is very good to help digestion; and therefore of great use to
  be taken about three or four o’clock afternoon, as well as in the
  morning. It much quickens the spirits, and makes the heart lightsome;
  it is good against sore eyes, and the better if you hold your head
  over it and take in the steam that way. It suppresseth fumes
  exceedingly, and therefore is good against the head-ache, and will
  very much stop any defluxion of rheums that distil from the head upon
  the stomach, and so prevent and help consumptions and the cough of the
  lungs.

  It is excellent to prevent and cure the dropsy, gout, and scurvy. It
  is known by experience to be better than any other drying drink for
  people in years, or children that have any running humours upon them,
  as the king’s evil, &c. It is a most excellent remedy against the
  spleen, hypochondriac winds, and the like. It will prevent drowsiness,
  and make one fit for business, if one have occasion to watch, and
  therefore you are not to drink of it after supper, unless you intend
  to be watchful, for it will hinder sleep for three or four hours.

  It is observed that in Turkey, where this is generally drunk, that
  they are not troubled with the stone, gout, dropsy, or scurvy, and
  that their skins are exceeding clear and white. It is neither laxative
  nor restringent.

  _Made and Sold in St Michael’s Alley, in Cornhill, by Pasqua Rosee,
  at the sign of his own head._

In addition to tea and coffee, the introduction and acceptance of which
had certainly a most marked influence on the progress of civilisation,
may be mentioned a third, which, though extensively used, never became
quite so great a favourite as the others. Chocolate, the remaining
member of the triad, was introduced into England much about the same
period. It had been known in Germany as early as 1624, when Johan Frantz
Rauch wrote a treatise against that beverage. In England, however, it
seems to have been introduced much later, for in 1657 it was still
advertised as a new drink. In the _Publick Advertiser_ of Tuesday, June
16-22, 1657, we find the following:--

  IN Bishopsgate Street, in Queen’s Head Alley, at a Frenchman’s house,
  is an excellent West India drink, called chocolate, to be sold, where
  you may have it ready at any time, and also unmade, at reasonable
  rates.

Chocolate never, except among exquisites and women of fashion, made
anything of a race with its more sturdy opponents, in this country at
all events, for while tea and coffee have become naturalised beverages,
chocolate has always retained its foreign prejudices.

In the _Kingdom’s Intelligencer_, a weekly paper published in 1662, are
inserted several curious advertisements giving the prices of tea,
coffee, chocolate, &c., one of which is as follows:--

  AT the Coffeehouse in Exchange Alley, is sold by retail the right
  _coffee powder_, from 4s. to 6s. 8d. per pound, as in goodness; that
  pounded in a mortar at 2s. 6d. per pound, and that termed the East
  India berry at 18d. per pound. Also that termed the right Turkey
  berry, well garbled at 3s. per pound, the ungarbled for lesse, with
  directions gratis how to make and use the same. Likewise there you may
  have _chocolatta_, the ordinary pound boxes at 2s. 6d. per pound; the
  perfumed from 4s. to 10s. per pound. Also _sherbets_, made in Turkie,
  of lemons, roses, and violets perfumed, and _Tea_ according to its
  goodness. For all which, if any gentleman shall write or send, they
  shall be sure of the best, as they shall order, and, to avoid deceit,
  warranted under the house-seal--viz., Morat the Great. Further, all
  gentlemen that are customers and acquaintance, are (the next New
  Year’s day), invited at the sign of the Great Turk, at the new coffee
  house, in Exchange Alley, where coffee will be on free cost.

Leaving the enticing subject of these new beverages, we find that in May
1657 there appeared a weekly paper which assumed the title of the
_Public Advertiser_, the first number being dated 19th to 26th May. It
was printed for Newcombe, in Thames Street, and consisted almost wholly
of advertisements, including the arrivals and departures of ships, and
books to be printed. Soon other papers also commenced to insert more and
more advertisements, sometimes stuck in the middle of political items,
and announcements of marine disasters, murders, marriages, births, and
deaths. Most of the notices at this period related to runaway
apprentices and black boys, fairs and cockfights, burglaries and highway
robberies, stolen horses, lost dogs, swords, and scent-bottles, and the
departure of coaches on long journeys into the provinces, and sometimes
even as far as Edinburgh. These announcements are not devoid of interest
and curiosity for us who live in the days of railways and fast steamers;
and so we quote the following from the _Mercurius Politicus_ of April
1, 1658:--

  FROM the 26th day of April 1658, there will continue to go Stage
  Coaches from the _George_ Inn, without Aldersgate, _London_, unto the
  several Cities and Towns, for the Rates and at the times hereafter
  mentioned and declared.

  _Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday._

  To _Salisbury_ in two days for xxs. To _Blandford_ and _Dorchester_ in
  two days and half for xxxs. To _Burport_ in three days for xxxs. To
  _Exmaster_, _Hunnington_, and _Exeter_ in four days for xls.

  To _Stamford_ in two days for xxs. To _Newark_ in two days and a half
  for xxvs. To _Bawtry_ in three days for xxxs. To _Doncaster_ and
  _Ferribridge_ for xxxvs. To _York_ in four days for xls.

  _Mondays_ and _Wednesdays_ to _Ockinton_ and _Plimouth_ for ls.

  Every _Monday_ to _Helperby_ and _Northallerton_ for xlvs. To
  _Darneton_ and _Ferryhil_ for ls. To _Durham_ for lvs. To _Newcastle_
  for iii£.

  Once every fortnight to _Edinburgh_ for iv£ a peece--_Mondays_.

  Every _Friday_, to _Wakefield_ in four days, xls.

  All persons who desire to travel unto the Cities, Towns, and Roads
  herein hereafter mentioned and expressed, namely--to _Coventry_,
  _Litchfield_, _Stone_, _Namptwich_, _Chester_, _Warrington_, _Wiggan_,
  _Chorley_, _Preston_, _Gastang_, _Lancaster_ and _Kendal_; and also to
  _Stamford_, _Grantham_, _Newark_, _Tuxford_, _Bawtrey_, _Doncaster_,
  _Ferriebridge_, _York_, _Helperby_, _Northallerton_, _Darneton_,
  _Ferryhill_, _Durham_, and _Newcastle_, _Wakefield_, _Leeds_, and
  _Halifax_; and also to _Salisbury_, _Blandford_, _Dorchester_,
  _Burput_, _Exmaster_, _Hunnington_, and _Exeter_, _Ockinton_,
  _Plimouth_, and _Cornwal_; let them repair to the _George_ Inn, at
  _Holborn Bridge, London_, and thence they shall be in good Coaches
  with good Horses, upon every _Monday_, _Wednesday_, and _Fridays_, at
  and for reasonable Rates.

Among the advertisements which prevailed most extensively in those early
times, may, as has been remarked, be ranked those of runaway servants,
apprentices, and black boys. England at that time swarmed with negro or
mulatto boys, which the wealthy used as pages, in imitation of the
Italian nobility. They were either imported from the West Indies, or
brought from the Peninsula. The first advertisement of a runaway black
page we meet with is dated August 11, 1659, but in this instance the
article is advertised as “lost,” like a dog, which is after all but
natural, the boy being a chattel:--

  A Negro-boy, about nine years of age, in a gray Searge suit, his hair
  cut close to his head, was lost on Tuesday last, _August 9_, at night,
  in St Nicholas Lane, London. If any one can give notice of him to Mr
  Tho. Barker, at the Sugar Loaf, in that Lane, they shall be well
  rewarded for their pains.

It is amusing to see, from this advertisement, that the wool of the
negro found no grace in the eye of his Puritan master, who cropped the
boy’s head as close as his own. Black boys continued in fashion for more
than a century after, and were frequently offered for sale, by means of
advertisements, in the same manner as slaves used to be, within recent
years, in the Southern States of America. Even as late as 1769 sales of
human flesh went on in this country. The _Gazetteer_, April 18, of that
year, classes together “for sale at the Bull and Gate, Holborn: a
chestnut gelding, a trim-whiskey, and a well-made, good-tempered black
boy;” whilst a Liverpool paper of ten years later, October 15, 1779,
announces as to be sold by auction, “at George Dunbar’s offices, on
Thursday next, 21st inst., at one o’clock, a black boy about fourteen
years old, and a large mountain tiger-cat.” This will be news to many
blind worshippers of the ideal creature known as “a man and a brother.”

Another curiosity of the advertisement literature of the seventeenth
century is the number of servants and apprentices absconding with their
masters’ property. Nearly all those dishonest servants must have had
appearances such as in these days might lead to conviction first and
trial afterwards. First of all, there is scarcely one of them but is
“pock-marked,” “pock-pitted,” “pock-fretted,” “pock-holed,”
“pit-marked,” or “full of pock-holes,” a fact which furnishes a
significant index of the ravages this terrible sickness must have made
amongst our ancestors, and offers a conclusive argument--though argument
is unfortunately inadmissible among them--to those blatant and
illogical people, the opponents of vaccination. Besides the myriads who
annually died of small-pox, it would, perhaps, not be an exaggeration to
assume that one-fourth of mankind at that time was pock-marked, and not
pock-marked as we understand the term. Whole features were destroyed,
and a great percentage of blindness was attributable to this cause.
Indeed, so accustomed were the people of those times to pock-marked
faces, that these familiar inequalities of the facial surface do not
appear to have been considered an absolute drawback even upon the charms
of a beauty or a beau. Louis XIV. in his younger days was considered one
of the handsomest men of France, notwithstanding that he was
pock-marked, and La Vallière and some other famous beauties of that
period are known to have laboured under the same disadvantage. This is a
hard fact which should destroy many of the ideas raised by fiction. The
following is a fair specimen of the descriptions of the dangerous
classes given in the early part of the latter half of the seventeenth
century, and is taken from the _Mercurius Politicus_ of May 1658:--

  A Black-haired Maid, of a middle stature, thick set, with big breasts,
  having her face full marked with the small-pox, calling herself by the
  name of _Nan_ or _Agnes Hobson_, did, upon Monday, the 28 of May,
  about six o’Clock in the morning, steal away from her Ladies house in
  the Pal-Mall, a mingle-coloured wrought Tabby gown of Deer colour and
  white; a black striped Sattin Gown with four broad bone-black silk
  Laces, and a plain black watered French Tabby Gown; Also one
  Scarlet-coloured and one other Pink-coloured Sarcenet Peticoat, and a
  white watered Tabby Wastcoat, plain; Several Sarcenet, Mode, and thin
  black Hoods and Scarfs, several fine Holland Shirts, a laced pair of
  Cuffs and Dressing, one pair of Pink-coloured Worsted Stockings, a
  Silver Spoon, a Leather bag, &c. She went away in greyish Cloth
  Wastcoat turned, and a Pink-coloured Paragon upper Peticoat, with a
  green Tammy under one. If any shall give notice of this person or
  things at one _Hopkins_, a Shoomaker’s, next door to the Vine Tavern,
  near the Pal-mall end, near Charing Cross, or at Mr _Ostler’s_, at the
  Bull Head in Cornhill, near the Old Exchange, they shall be rewarded
  for their pains.

In the same style was almost every other description; and though
embarrassed by the quantity as well as quality we have to choose from,
we cannot pass over this bit of word-painting, which is rich in
description. It is from the _Mercurius Politicus_ of July 1658:--

  ONE Eleanor Parker (by birth _Haddock_), of a Tawny reddish
  complexion, a pretty long nose, tall of stature, servant to _Mr
  Ferderic Howpert_, Kentish Town, upon Saturday last, the _26th of
  June_, ran away and stole two Silver Spoons; a sweet Tent-work Bag,
  with gold and silver Lace about it, and lined with Satin; a Bugle
  work-Cushion, very curiously wrought in all manners of slips and
  flowers; a Shell cup, with a Lyon’s face, and a Ring of silver in its
  mouth; besides many other things of considerable value, which she took
  out of her Mistresses Cabinet, which she broke open; as also some
  Cloaths and Linen of all sorts, to the value of Ten pounds and
  upwards. If any one do meet with her and please to secure her, and
  give notice to the said _Ferderic Howpert_, or else to Mr _Malpass_,
  Leather seller, at the Green Dragon, at the upper end of Lawrence
  Lane, he shall be thankfully rewarded for his pains.

But besides the ravages of small-pox, the hue and cry raised after
felons exhibits an endless catalogue of deformities. Hardly a rogue is
described but he is “ugly as sin.” In turning over these musty piles of
small quarto newspapers which were read by the men of the seventeenth
century, a most ill-favoured crowd of evil-doers springs up around us.
The rogues cannot avoid detection, if they venture out among good
citizens, for they are branded with marks by which all men may know
them. Take the following specimens of “men of the time.” The first is
from the _London Gazette_ of January 24-28, 1677:--

  ONE John Jones, a Welchman, servant to Mr Gray, of Whitehall, went
  away the 27th with £50 of his master’s in silver. He is aged about 25
  years, of a middle stature, something thick, a down black look,
  purblind, between long and round favoured, something pale of
  complexion, lank, dark, red hair; a hair-coloured large suit on,
  something light; a bowe nose a little sharp and reddish, almost beetle
  brow’d and something deaf, given to slabber in his speech. Whoever
  secures the said servant and brings him to his master, shall have £5
  reward.

This portrait was evidently drawn by an admirer; and it is with evident
pleasure that the artist, after describing the “lank, dark, red hair,”
and the suit like it, returns to the charge, and gives the finishing
touches to the comely features. Here is another pair of beauties, whose
descriptions appear in the _Currant Intelligence_, March 6-9, 1682:--

  SAMUEL SMITH, Scrivener in Grace Church Street, London, about 26 years
  old, crook-backed, of short stature, red hair, hath a black periwig
  and sometimes a light one, pale complexion, Pock-holed full face, a
  mountier cap with a scarlet Ribbon, and one of the same colour on his
  cravat and sword, a light coloured campaign coat faced with blue shag,
  in company with his brother John Smith, who has a slit in his nose, a
  tall lusty man, red hair, a sad grey campaign coat, a lead colour suit
  lined with red: they were mounted, one on a flea-bitten grey, the
  other on a light bay horse.

For powers of description this next is worthy of study. It is
contemporary with the other:--

  WILLIAM WALTON, a tall young man about sixteen years of age,
  down-look’d, much disfigured with the Small-pox, strait brown hair,
  black rotten teeth, having an impediment in his speech, in a sad
  coloured cloth sute, the coat faced with shag, a white hat with a
  black ribbon on it, went away from his master, &c. &c.

And so on, as per example; the runaways and missing folk--for all that
are advertised are not offenders against the law--seem to have exhausted
the whole catalogue of human and inhuman ugliness. By turns the
attention of the public is directed to a brown fellow with a long nose,
or with full staring grey eyes, countenance very ill-favoured, having
lost his right eye, voice loud and shrill, teeth black and rotten, with
a wide mouth and a hang-dog look, smutty complexion, a dimple in the top
of his nose, or a flat wry nose with a star in it, voice low and
disturbed, long visage, down look, and almost every other objectionable
peculiarity imaginable. What a milk-and-water being our modern rough is,
after all!

Dr Johnson, in a bantering paper on the art of advertising, published in
the _Idler_, No. 40, observes: “The man who first took advantage of the
general curiosity that was excited by a siege or battle to betray the
readers of news into the knowledge of the shop where the best puffs and
powder were to be sold, was undoubtedly a man of great sagacity, and
profound skill in the nature of man. But when he had once shown the way,
it was easy to follow him.” Yet it took a considerable time before the
mass of traders could be brought to understand the real use of
advertising, even as the great Doctor understood it. Even he could
hardly have comprehended advertising as it is now. The first man who
endeavoured to systematically convince the world of the vast uses which
might be made of this medium was Sir Roger L’Estrange. That intelligent
speculator, in 1663, obtained an appointment to the new office of
“Surveyor of the Imprimery and Printing Presses,” by which was granted
to him the sole privilege of writing, printing, and publishing all
narratives, advertisements, mercuries, &c. &c., besides all briefs for
collections, playbills, quack-salvers’ bills, tickets, &c. &c. On the
1st of August 1663 appeared a paper published by him, under the name of
the _Intelligencer_, and on the 24th of the same month the public were
warned against the “petty cozenage” of some of the booksellers, who had
persuaded their customers that they could not sell the paper under
twopence a sheet, though it was sold to them at about a fourth part of
that price. The first number of the _Newes_ (which was also promoted by
Sir Roger L’Estrange) appeared September 3, 1663, and, as we are told by
Nicholls in his “Literary Anecdotes,” “contained more advertisements of
importance than any previous paper.” Still, the benefit of the publicity
which might be derived from advertising was so little understood by the
trading community of the period, that after the Plague and the Great
Fire this really valuable means of acquainting the public with new
places of abode, the resumption of business, and the thousand and one
changes incidental on such calamities, were almost entirely neglected.
Though nearly the entire city had been burnt out, and the citizens must
necessarily have entered new premises or erected extempore shops, yet
hardly any announcements appear in the papers to acquaint the public of
the new addresses. The _London Gazette_, October 11-15, 1666, offered
its services, but hardly to any effect; little regard being paid to the
following invitation:--

  Such as have settled in new habitations since the late fire, and
  desire for the convenience of their correspondence to publish the
  place of their present abode, or to give notice of goods lost or
  found, may repair to the corner house in Bloomsbury, or on the east
  side of the great square [Bloomsbury Square] before the house of the
  Right Honourable the Lord Treasurer, where there is care taken for the
  receipt and publication of such advertisements.

Among the very few advertisements relating to those great calamities is
the following, produced by the Plague, which is inserted in the
_Intelligencer_, June 22-30, 1665:--

  THIS is to certify that the master of the Cock and Bottle, commonly
  called the Cock alehouse, at Temple bar, hath dismissed his servants,
  and shut up his house for this long vacation, intending (God willing)
  to return at Michaelmas next, so that all persons who have any
  accounts or farthings belonging to the said house, are desired to
  repair thither before the 8th of this instant, July, and they shall
  receive satisfaction.

Relating to the Fire, the following from the _London Gazette_, March 12,
1672-73, was the notification:--

  THESE are to give notice that Edward Barlet, Oxford carrier, hath
  removed his Inn in London from the Swan at Holborn Bridge to the
  Oxford Arms in Warwick Lane, where he did inne before the Fire. His
  coaches and waggons going forth on their usual days, Mondays,
  Wednesdays, and Fridays. He hath also a hearse, with all things
  convenient to carry a corpse to any part of England.

There is not, however, a single advertisement relating to any of those
temporary conveniences of every kind which invariably arise, as by
magic, on any great and unusual emergency. Indeed, about this period,
and for a long time after, the _London Gazette_, which was the official
organ of the day, appeared frequently without a single advertisement;
and till the end of the reign of Charles II., it was only very rarely
that that paper contained more than four advertisements of a general
kind, very frequently the number being less. The subjects of these were
almost exclusively thefts, losses, and runaways. Booksellers’ and
quacks’ advertisements were, however, even then frequent in this paper;
their announcements always preceded the others, and were printed in a
different type.

In 1668 Mr (afterwards Sir) Roger L’Estrange commenced the _Mercury, or
Advertisements concerning Trade_, which does not seem to have answered,
for it soon became extinct. Some years after, the now well-known scheme
of issuing sheets of advertisements gratuitously, trusting for profit to
the number of advertisers, was for the first time attempted. The paper
started on this principle was called the _City Mercury_, and appears to
have had a hard struggle for existence, since the publishers thought it
necessary to insert in No. 52 (March 30, 1673) a notice of this tenor:--

  Notwithstanding this paper has been published so long, there are many
  persons ignorant of the design and advantage of it. And it every week
  comes to the hand of some, both in City and Country, that never see it
  before: For which reason the Publisher thinks himself obliged (that
  all may have benefit by it), to inform them that:--

  1. He gives away every _Monday_ above a thousand of them to all the
  _Booksellers_, _shops_ and _inns_, and most of the principal
  _coffee-houses_ in _London_ and _Westminster_. Besides they are now
  sent to most of the cities and principal towns in England.

  2. Any person that has anything to insert in it, as the _titles_ of
  _books_, _houses_ or _land_ to be _lett_ or _sold_, _persons removing
  from one place to another_, things _lost_ or _stole_, _physitians’
  advertisements_, or _inquiries_ for _houses_ or _lands_ to be _lett_
  or _sold_, for _places_ or for _servants_, &c., may bring or send them
  to the Publisher, _Tho. Howkins_, in _George Yard_, in Lombard Street,
  London, who will carefully insert them at reasonable rates.

  3. That this way of publishing is much more advantageous than giving
  away _Bills_ in the street, is certain, for where there is one of them
  read, there’s twenty is not; and a thousand of these cannot be
  supposed to be read by less than twenty times the number of persons;
  and done for at least the twentieth part of the charge, and with much
  less trouble and greater success; as has been experienced by many
  persons that have things inserted in it.

This paper lived but a short time; though the fact that the proprietor
undertook to furnish above a thousand copies per week to booksellers,
shops, inns, and coffee-houses in London, and that it was sent to “most
of the cities and principal towns in England,” clearly indicates that
the trade began to be aware of the advantages to be derived from
publicity. Soon afterwards a paper of the same denomination, but
published by another speculator, was commenced. Its appearance and
purposes were told to the public in the autumn of 1675 by circulars or
handbills, one of which has fortunately been stored up in the British
Museum. As this curious document gives a comprehensive outline of the
system of newspaper advertising, as it appeared to the most advanced
thinkers in the reign of Charles II., we reprint it here _in extenso_:--

  ADVERTISEMENT.

  _WHEREAS divers people are at great expense in printing, publishing,
  and dispersing of Bills of Advertisements: Observing how practical and
  Advantagious to Trade and Business, &c. this Method is in parts beyond
  the Seas._

  _These are to give notice, That all Persons in such cases concerned
  henceforth may have published in Print in the_ Mercury _or_ Bills of
  Advertisements, _which shall come out every week on_ Thursday
  _morning, and be delivered and dispersed in every house where the
  Bills of Mortallity are received, and elsewhere, the Publications and
  Advertisements of all the matters following, or any other matter or
  thing not herein mentioned, that shall relate to the Advancement of
  Trade, or any lawful business not granted in propriety to any other._

  Notice of all Goods, Merchandizes, and Ships to be sold, the place
  where to be seen, and day and hour.

  Any ships to be let to Freight, and the time of their departure, the
  place of the Master’s habitation, and where to be spoken with before
  and after Exchange time.

  All Ships, their Names, and Burthens, and capacities, and where their
  Inventaries are to be seen.

  All other Parcels and Materials or Furniture for shipping in like
  manner.

  Any Houses to be Let or Sold, or Mortgaged, with Notes of their
  Contents.

  Any Lands or Houses in City or Country, to be Sold or Mortgaged.

  The Erection, Alteration, or Removal of any Stage-coach, or any common
  Carrier.

  Advertisements of any considerable Bargains that are offered.

  Any curious Invention or Experiment that is to be exposed to the
  Public view or Sale, may be hereby notified when and where.

  Hereby Commissioners upon Commissions against Bankrupts may give large
  notice.

  In like manner any man may give notice as he pleaseth to his
  Creditors.

  Hereby the Settlement or Removal of any Publick Office may be
  notified.

  Hereby all School-masters, and School-mistresses, and
  Boarding-schools, and Riding-schools or Academies, may publish the
  place where their Schools are kept.

  And in like manner, where any Bathes or Hot-houses are kept.

  And the Place or Key at the Waterside, whereto any Hoy or Vessel doth
  constantly come to bring or carry Goods; as those of _Lee_,
  _Faversham_, and _Maidstone_, &c.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _AT the Office, which is to be kept for the Advertisements, any Person
  shall be informed (without any Fee) where any Stage-coach stands,
  where any common Carrier lies, that comes to any Inn within the Bills
  of Mortallity, and their daies of coming in and going out._

  _In like manner all the accustomed Hoys or Vessels that come to the
  several Keys from the several Ports of_ England.

  _All Masters and Owners of the several Stage-coaches, and the
  Master-Carriers, and the Masters of all the Hoys and Vessels above
  mentioned, are desired to repair between this and_ Christmas _day
  next, to the Office kept for the receipt of the Advertisements, to see
  if no mistakes be in their several daies and rates, that the said
  Books may be declared perfect, which shall be no charge to the Persons
  concerned._

  _The Office or Place where any Person may have his desires answered in
  anything hereby advertised, is kept in St Michael’s Alley in Cornhil,
  London, right against Williams Coffee-house, where constant attendance
  every day in the Week shall be given, from Nine in the Morning, to
  Five in the Evening; to receive the desires of all Persons in matters
  of this nature, carefully to answer them in the same._

  ^With Allowance.^

  _LONDON:_

  Printed by _Andrew Clark_, in _Aldersgate Street_, 1675.

In accordance with this prospectus, the first number of the _City
Mercury_ appeared November 4, 1675.

We, who are familiar with the thousand and one tricks resorted to by
traders in order to attract attention to their advertisements, may be
apt to ridicule the artless manner in which these notices were brought
before the public of the seventeenth century. Different types, dividing
lines, woodcuts, and other contrivances to catch the wandering eye, were
still unknown; and frequently all the advertisements were set forth in
one string, without a single break, or even full stop, as in the
subjoined specimen from the _Loyal Impartial Mercury_, November 14-17,
1681:--

  ☞ THE House in the Strand wherein the Morocco Embassador lately
  resided is to be let, furnished or unfurnished, intirely or in several
  parts; a house in Marklane fit for a marchant; also very good lodgings
  not far from the Royal Exchange, fit for any marchant or gentleman to
  be let, inquire at the North West corner of the Royal Exchange, and
  there you may know further; inquiry is made at the said office for
  places to be Stewards of courts, liberties or franchises, or any
  office at law, or places to be auditor, or receiver, or steward of the
  household, or gentleman of horse to any nobleman or gentleman; or
  places to be clarks to brew-houses, or wharfs, or suchlike; also any
  person that is willing to buy or sell any estates, annuities, or
  mortgages, or let, or take any house, or borrow money upon the bottom
  of ships, may be accommodated at the said office.

Conciseness was of course necessary when it is recollected that the
paper was only a folio half-sheet, though the news was so scanty that
the few advertisements were a boon to the reader, and were sure to be
read. This was an advantage peculiar to the early advertisers. So long
as the papers were small, and the advertisements few in number, the
trade announcements were almost more interesting than the news. But when
the papers increased in bulk, and advertisements became common, it
behoved those who wished to attract special attention to resort to
contrivances which would distinguish them from the surrounding crowd of
competitors.

The editor of the _London Mercury_, in 1681, evidently with an eye to
making his paper a property on the best of all principles, requests all
those who have houses for sale to advertise in his columns, “where,”
says he, “farther care will be taken for their disposal than the bare
publishing them, by persons who make it their business.” Consequently we
frequently meet in this paper with notices of “A delicate House to
lett,” agreeably varied with advertisements concerning spruce beer,
scurvy grass, Daffy’s elixir, and other specifics. Notwithstanding that
the utility of advertising as a means of obtaining publicity was as yet
hardly understood, the form of an advertisement, according to modern
plans, was, it is curious to observe, frequently adopted at this period
to expose sentiments in a veiled manner, or to call attention to public
grievances. Thus, for instance, the first numbers of the _Heraclitus
Ridens_, published in 1681, during the effervescence of the Popish
plots, contained almost daily one or more of these political satires, of
which the following may serve as examples. The first appears February 4.

  IF any person out of natural curiosity desire to be furnished with
  ships or castles in the air, or any sorts of prodigies, apparitions,
  or strange sights, the better to fright people out of their senses,
  and by persuading them there are strange judgments, changes, and
  revolutions hanging over their heads, thereby to persuade them to pull
  them down by discontents, fears, jealousies, and seditions; let them
  repair to Ben Harris, at his shop near the Royal Exchange, where they
  may be furnished with all sorts and sizes of them, at very cheap and
  easy rates.

  There is also to be seen the strange egg with the comet in it which
  was laid at Rome, but sent from his Holiness to the said Ben, to make
  reparations for his damages sustained, and as a mark of esteem for his
  zeal and sufferings in promoting discord among the English hereticks,
  and sowing the seeds of sedition among the citizens of London.

The edition of February 15 contains the following:--

  IF any protestant dissenter desire this spring time to be furnished
  with sedition seeds, or the true protestant rue, which they call “herb
  of grace,” or any other hopeful plants of rebellion, let them repair
  to the famous French gardeners Monsieur F. Smith, Msr. L. Curtis, and
  Msr. B. Harris; where they may have not only of all the kinds which
  grew in the garden of the late keepers of the liberty of England; but
  much new variety raised by the art and industry of the said gardeners,
  with directions in print when to sow them, and how to cultivate them
  when they are raised.

  You may also have there either green or pickled sallads of rumours and
  reports, far more grateful to the palate, or over a glass of wine,
  than your French Champignons or mushrooms, Popish Olives, or Eastland
  Gherkins.

And on March 1 there was given to the world:--

  A MOST ingenious monkey, who can both write, read, and speak as good
  sense as his master, nursed in the kitchen of the late Commonwealth,
  and when they broke up housekeeping entertained by Nol Protector, may
  be seen do all his old tricks over again, for pence apiece, every
  Wednesday, at his new master’s, Ben. Harris, in Cornhill.

This was a species of wit similar to that associated with the imaginary
signs adopted in books with secret imprints, in order to express certain
political notions, the sentiments of which were embodied in the work;
for instance, a pamphlet just before the outbreak of the Civil War is
called, “Vox Borealis, or a Northerne Discoverie, etc. Printed by
Margery Marprelate, amidst the Babylonians, in Thwack Coat Lane, at the
sign of the Crab Tree Cudgell, without any privilege of the Catercaps.”

One John Houghton, F.R.S., who combined the business of apothecary with
that of dealer in tea, coffee, and chocolate, in Bartholomew Lane,
commenced a paper in 1682, entitled _A Collection for the Improvement of
Husbandry and Trade_,[25] which continued to be issued weekly for some
time; and though it failed, it was revived again on March 30, 1692. It
was modelled on the same plan as the _City Mercury_ of 1675, and was
rather ambitious in its views. It consisted of one folio half-sheet, and
was intended to “lay out for a large correspondence, and for the
advantage of tenant, landlord, corn merchant, mealman, baker, brewer,
feeder of cattle, farmer, maltster, buyer and seller of coals, hop
merchant, soap merchant, tallow chandler, wood merchant, their
customers,” &c. But no advertisements proper were mentioned at first; it
was a mere bulletin or price-current of the above-named trades and of
auctions, besides shipping news and the bills of mortality. The first
advertisement appeared in the third number, it was a “book-ad,” and
figured there all by itself; and it was not till the 8th of June that
the second advertisement appeared, which assumed the following shape:--

  ☞ FOR the further and better Improvement of Husbandry and Trade and
  for the Encouragement thereof, especially in Middlesex and the
  bordering counties, a Person, now at my house in Bartholomew Lane,
  does undertake to make or procure made, as good malt of the barley of
  these counties, and of that Malt as good Ale as is made at Derby,
  Nottingham, or any other place now famous for that liquor, and that
  upon such reasonable terms as shall be to general satisfaction, the
  extraordinary charge not amounting to above one penny per bushel more
  than that is now; only thus much I must advise, if provision be not
  made speedily, the opportunity will be lost for the next malting time.

Under the fostering influence of Houghton, who appears to have been
keenly aware of the advantage to be derived from this manner of
obtaining publicity, advertisements of every kind began gradually to
appear, and ere long the booksellers, who for some time had monopolised
this paper, were pushed aside by the other trades; and so the attention
of the public is by turns directed to blacking balls, tapestry hangings,
spectacles, writing ink, coffins, copper and brass work, &c. &c.; and
these notices increased so rapidly that, added to No. 52, which appeared
on July 28, 1693, there is a half-sheet of advertisements, which is
introduced to the public with the following curious notice:--

  My Collection I shall carry on as usual. This part is to give away,
  and those who like it not, may omit the reading. I believe it will
  help on Trade, particularly encourage the advertisers to increase the
  vent of my papers. I shall receive all sorts of advertisements, but
  shall answer for the reasonableness of none, unless I give thereof a
  particular character on which (as I shall give it) may be
  _dependance_, but no argument that others deserve not as well. I am
  informed that seven or eight thousand gazettes are each time printed,
  which makes them the most universal Intelligencers; but I’ll suppose
  mine their first handmaid, because it goes (though not so thick yet)
  to _most_ parts: It’s also lasting to be put into Volumes with
  indexes, and particularly there shall be an index of all the
  advertisements, whereby, for ages to come, they may be useful.

This first sheet consists solely of advertisements about newly published
books, but it concludes:--

  ☞ Whither ’tis worth while to give an account of ships sent in for
  lading or ships arrived, with the like for coaches and carriers; or to
  give notice of approaching fairs, and what commodities are chiefly
  sold there, I must submit to the judgment of those concerned.

The advertisements in Houghton’s _Collection_ may appear strange to the
reader accustomed to rounded sentences and glowing periods, but in the
reign of William III. the general absence of education rendered the
social element more unsophisticated in character. In those old days the
advertiser and editor of the paper frequently speak in the first person
singular; also the advertiser often speaks through the editor. A few
specimens taken at random will give the reader a tolerably good idea of
the style then prevalent:--

  ----A very eminent brewer, and one I know to be a very honest
  gentleman, wants an apprentice; I can give an account of him.

  ----I want a house keeper rarely well accomplished for that purpose.
  ’Tis for a suitable gentleman.

  ----I know of valuable estates to be sold.

  ----I want several apprentices for a valuable tradesman.

  ----I can help to ready money for any library great or small or
  parcels of pictures or household goods.

  ----I want a negro man that is a good house carpenter and a good
  shoemaker.

  ⁂ I want a young man about 14 or 15 years old that can trim and look
  after a peruke. ’Tis to wait on a merchant.

  ----I want a pritty boy to wait on a gentleman who will take care of
  him and put him out an apprentice.

  ----If any gentleman wants a housekeeper, I believe I can help to the
  best in England.

  ----Many masters want apprentices and many youths want masters. If
  they apply themselves to me, I’ll strive to help them. Also for
  variety of valuable services.

  By reason of my great corresponding, I may help masters to apprentices
  and Apprentices to Masters. And now is wanting Three Boys, one with
  £70, one with £30, and a Scholar with £60.

  ----I know of several curious women that would wait on ladies to be
  housekeepers.

  ----Now I want a good usher’s place in a Grammar school.

  ----I want a young man that can write and read, mow and roll a garden,
  use a gun at a deer, and understand country sports, and to wait at
  table, and such like.

  ----If any young man that plays well on the violin and writes a good
  hand desires a clerkship, I can help him to £20 a year.

  ----I want a complete young man, that will wear livery, to wait on a
  very valuable gentleman, but he must know how to play on a violin or a
  flute.

  ----I want a genteel footman that can play on the violin to wait on a
  person of honour.

  ----If I can meet with a sober man that has a counter tenor voice, I
  can help him to a place worth £30 the year or more.

This continual demand for musical servants arose from the fashion of
making them take part in musical performances, of which custom we find
frequent traces in Pepys. Altogether the most varied accomplishments
appear to have been expected from servants; as, for instance,--

  ----If any Justice of the Peace wants a clerk, I can help to one that
  has been so seven years; understands accounts, to be butler, also to
  receive money. He also can shave and buckle wigs.

The editor frequently gives special testimony as to the respectability
of the advertiser:--

  ----If any one wants a wet nurse, I can help them, as I am informed,
  to a very good one.

  ----I know a gentlewoman whose family is only her husband, herself and
  maid, and would to keep her company take care of a child, two or
  three, of three years old or upwards. She is my good friend, and such
  a one that whoever put their children to her, I am sure will give me
  thanks, and think themselves happy, let them be what rank they will.

  ----I have been to Mr Firmin’s work house in Little Britain, and seen
  a great many pieces of what seems to me excellent linen, made by the
  poor in and about London. He will sell it at reasonable rates, and I
  believe whatever house keepers go there to buy will not repent, and on
  Wednesdays and Saturdays in the forenoon he is always there himself.

  ----I have met with a curious gardener that will furnish any body that
  sends to me for fruit trees, and floreal shrubs, and garden seeds. I
  have made him promise with all solemnity that whatever he sends shall
  be purely good, and I verily believe he may be depended on.

  ----One that has waited on a lady divers years, and understands all
  affairs in housekeeping and the needle, desires some such place. She
  seems a discreet, staid body.

At other times Houghton recommends “a tidy footman,” a “quick,
well-looking fellow,” or “an extraordinary cook-maid;” and observes of a
certain ladysmaid, who offered her services through his _Collection_,
“and truly she looks and discourses passing well.” Occasionally he also
guarantees the situation; thus, applying for “a suitable man that can
read and write, and will wear a livery,” he adds for the information of
flunkeys in general: “I believe that ’twill be a very good place, for
’tis to serve a fine gentleman whom I well know, and he will give £5 the
year besides a livery.” Imagine Jeames of Belgravia being told he should
have £5 for his important annual services! Another time “’tis to wait on
a very valuable old batchelor gentleman in the City.” Again, he
recommends a Protestant French gentleman, who is willing to wait on some
person of quality, and Houghton adds, “from a valuable divine, my good
friend, I have a very good character of him.” Of a certain surgeon, whom
he advertises, he says, “I have known him, I believe, this twenty
years.” All these recommendations bear an unmistakable character of
truth and honesty on their face, and are very different from the
commendatory paragraphs which nowadays appear in the body of a paper
because of long advertisements which are to be found in the outer sheet.
Nor is the worthy man ever willing to engage his word further than where
he can speak by experience; in other cases, an “I believe,” or some such
cautious expression, invariably appears. Recommending a hairdresser, he
says--

  ----I know a peruke maker that _pretends_ to make perukes
  extraordinary fashionable, and will sell good pennyworths; I can
  direct to him.

And once, when a number of quack advertisements had found their way into
the paper, old Houghton, with a sly nod and a merry twinkle in his eye,
almost apparent as one reads, drily puts his “index” above them, with
the following caution:--

  ☞ Pray, mind the preface to this half sheet. Like lawyers, I take all
  causes. I may fairly; who likes not may stop here.

A tolerably broad hint of his disbelief in the said nostrums and
elixirs. Even booksellers had to undergo the test of his ordeal, and
having discovered some of their shortcomings, he warned them--

  ⁂ I desire all booksellers to send me no new titles to old books, for
  they will be rejected.

When a book of the right reverend father in God John Wilkins, late
Bishop of Chester, was published, Houghton recommended it in patronising
terms--

  ----I have read this book, and do think it a piece of great ingenuity,
  becoming the Bishop of Chester, and is useful for a great many
  purposes, both profit and pleasure.

Of another work he says--

  ----With delight have I read over this book, and think it a very good
  one.

Thus, notwithstanding the primitive form of the advertisements, the
benefit to be derived from this mode of publicity began to be more and
more understood. It was not without great trouble, however; and it was
necessary that Houghton should constantly direct the attention of the
trading community to the resources and advantages of advertising, which
he did in the most candid manner. He simply and abruptly puts the
question and leaves those interested to solve it. Thus:--

  ----Whether advertisements of schools, or houses and lodgings about
  London may be useful, I submit to those concerned.

And the answer came; for a few days after the public were informed that

  ----At one Mr Packer’s, in Crooked Lane, next the Dolphin, are very
  good Lodgings to be let, where there is freedom from noise, and a
  pretty garden.

Freedom from noise and a pretty garden in a street leading from
Eastcheap to Fish Street Hill! Shortly after Houghton calmly observes:--

  ----I now find advertisements of schools, houses and lodgings in and
  about London are thought useful.

He then starts other subjects:--

  ----I believe some advertisements about bark and timber might be of
  use both to buyer and seller.

  ⁂ I find several barbers think it their interest to take in these
  papers, and I believe the rest will when they understand them.

The barber’s shop was then the headquarters of gossip, as it took a long
time to shave the whole of a man’s beard and curl a sufficient quantum
of hair or wig, as worn in those old days, and so the man of suds was
expected to entertain his customers or find them entertainment. Next
turning his attention to the clergy, Houghton offers that body a helping
hand also:--

  ⁂ I would gladly serve the clergy in all their wants.

How he understood this friendly help soon appeared:--

  ----If any divine or their relicts have complete sets of manuscript
  sermons upon the Epistles and the Gospels, the Catechism or Festivals,
  I can help them to a customer.

The use of second-hand sermons was not unknown in those days, and
detection was of course much less imminent than now. Then--

  ----I have sold all the manuscript sermons I had and many more, and if
  any has any more to dispose of that are good and legibly writ, I
  believe I can help them to customers.

Possibly the “many more” was a heavy attempt at humour; but anyhow the
sermon article was in great demand, and his kindly services did not rest
there:--

  ----If any incumbent within 20 miles of London will dispose of his
  living, I can help him to a chapman.

  ----A rectory of £100 per annum in as good an air as any in England,
  60 miles off, and an easy cure is to be commuted.

  ----A vicaridge and another cure which requires service but once a
  month, value £86. ’Tis in Kent about 60 miles from London.

And so on, proving that the clergy had not refused the friendly offer,
and were fully as ready as the tradesman to avail themselves of this
means of giving vent to their wants and requirements.

Houghton would occasionally do a little business to oblige a friend,
though it is fair to assume that he participated in the profits:--

  ⁂For a friend, I can sell very good flower of brimstone, etc., as
  cheap or cheaper than any in town does; and I’ll sell any good
  commodity for any man of repute if desired.

  ----I find publishing for others does them kindness, therefore note: I
  sell lozenges for 8d. the ounce which good drinkers commend against
  heartburn, and are excellent for women with child, to prevent
  miscarriages; also the true _lapis nephriticus_ which is esteemed
  excellent for the stone by wearing it on the wrist.

  ----I would gladly buy for a friend the historical part of Cornelius a
  Lapide upon the Bible.

Besides the above particular advertisements, the paper frequently
contained another kind, which to us may appear singularly vague and
unbusinesslike, but which no doubt perfectly answered their purpose
among a comparatively minute metropolitan population, the subjects of
William III. We allude to general advertisements such as these:--

  Last week was imported

  Bacon by _Mr Edwards_.
  Cheese by _Mr Francia_.
  Corral Beads by _Mr Paggen_.
  Crabs Eyes by _Mr Harvey_.
  Horse Hair by _Mr Becens_.
  Joynted Babies by _Mr Harrison_.
  Mapps by _Mr Thompson_.
  Orange Flower Water by _Mr Bellamy_.
  Prospective Glasses by _Mr Mason_.
  Saffron by _Mr Western_.
  Sturgeon by _Mr Kett_.

  If any desire it other things may be inserted.

In similar style a most extraordinary variety of other things imported
are advertised in subsequent numbers, including crystal stones, hops,
oxguts, incle, juniper, old pictures, onions, pantiles, quick eels,
rushes, spruce beer, sturgeon, trees, brandy, chimney backs, caviar,
tobacco-pipes, whale-fins, bugle, canes, sheep’s-guts, washballs and
snuff, a globe, aqua fortis, shruffe, quills, waxworks, ostrich
feathers, scamony, clagiary paste, Scotch coals, sweet soap, onion seed,
gherkins, mum, painted sticks, soap-berries, mask-leather, and so on,
for a long time, only giving the names of the importers, without ever
mentioning their addresses, until at last a bright idea struck this
gentleman, who seems to have been one of those vulgarly said to be
before their time, but who are in fact the pioneers who pave the way for
all improvements; and so the _Collection_ was enriched with the
following notice:--

  ----If desired I’ll set down the places of abode, and I am sure ’twill
  be of good use: for I am often asked it.

Houghton was indeed so well aware of the utility of giving the
addresses, that in order to render his paper more permanently useful, he
published, apparently on his own account, not only the addresses of some
of the principal shops, but also a list of the residences of the leading
doctors. From this we gather that in June 1694 there were 93 doctors in
and about London, also that Dr (afterwards Sir) Hans Sloane lived at
Montague House (now the British Museum), Dr Radcliffe in Bow Street, and
Dr Garth, by Duke Street. At the conclusion of this list the publisher
says:--

  ----I shall also go the round, I. of Counsellors and Attorneys; II. of
  Surgeons and Gardiners; III. of Lawyers and Attorneys; IV. Schools and
  Woodmongers; V. Brokers, coaches and carriers, and such like, and then
  round again, beginning with Physitians.

Thus by untiring perseverance, and no small amount of thought and study,
Houghton trained his contemporaries in the art of advertising, and made
them acquainted with the valuable assistance to be derived from a medium
which, as Alexis de Tocqueville remarks, drops the same thought into a
thousand minds at almost the same period. Apart from the interest which
his papers have on the subject we have been considering, they are full
of graphic details which throw a clear and effective light on these old
and bygone times. What can give a more vivid picture of the state of the
roads in this country in winter-time, nearly two centuries ago, than the
following notice extracted from the _Collection for Husbandry and
Trade_, March 10, 1693:--

  ----Roads are filled with snow, we are forced to ride with the paquet
  over hedges and ditches. This day seven-night my boy with the paquet
  and two gentlemen were seven hours riding from Dunstable to Hockley,
  but three miles, hardly escaping with their lives, being often in
  holes and forced to be drawn out with ropes. A man and a woman were
  found dead within a mile hence. I fear I have lost my letter-carrier,
  who has not been heard of since Thursday last. Six horses lie dead on
  the road between Hockley and Brickhill, smothered. I was told last
  night that lately was found dead near Beaumarais three men and three
  horses.

At this picture of those good old times for which people who know
nothing about them now weep, we will stop. The rest of the story, so far
as the development of advertisements is concerned, will be told in
strict chronological order.

  [24] Broer Jansz styles himself “Couranteer in the Army of his
  Princely Excellence,” _i.e._, Prince Frederic Henry, the Stadtholder.
  Subsequently, in 1630, Jansz commenced a new series, which he entitled
  “Tidings from Various Quarters.”

  [25] John Nicholl, in his “Literary Anecdotes,” vol. iv. p. 71, calls
  the editor of this paper Benjamin Harris, a well-known publisher of
  pamphlets in the reign of Charles II., and says that J. Knighton was
  the editor in 1692. This last name may be a clerical error for
  Houghton.




CHAPTER VI.

_DEVELOPMENT OF ADVERTISING._


We have now arrived at a period when the value of advertising was
beginning to make itself felt among even the most conservative, and when
it at last began to dawn upon the minds so unaccustomed to change or
improvement, that a new era in the history of trade was about to
commence, even if it had not commenced already. So the newspapers of the
latter half of the seventeenth century begin to offer fresh inducements
to the reader, no matter whether to the antiquarian or simply curious.
And he must be a flippant reader indeed who is not impressed by these
files of musty and bygone journals, pervaded by the spirit of a former
age, and redolent of the busy doings of men who generations ago were not
only dead but forgotten. Few things could be more suggestive of the
steady progress of Time, and the quite as steady progress of his
congeners, Death and Forgetfulness, than these papers. Novelists and
essayists have described in most eloquent words the feelings which are
aroused by the perusal of suddenly-discovered and long-forgotten
letters; and similar feelings, though of a much more extended
description, are evoked by a glance through any volume of these
moth-eaten journals. A writer of a few years back, speaking of the
advertisements, says, “As we read in the old musty files of newspapers
those _naïve_ announcements, the very hum of bygone generations seems to
rise to the ear. The chapman exhibits his quaint wares, the mountebank
capers again upon his stage, we have the living portrait of the
highwayman flying from justice, we see the old-china auctions thronged
with ladies of quality with their attendant negro-boys, or those by
‘inch of candle-light,’ forming many a Schalken-like picture of light
and shade; or later still we have Hogarthian sketches of the young
bloods who swelled of old along the Pall-Mall. We trace the moving
panorama of men and manners up to our own less demonstrative, but more
earnest times; and all these cabinet pictures are the very
daguerreotypes cast by the age which they exhibit, not done for effect,
but faithful reflections of those insignificant items of life and
things, too small, it would seem, for the generalising eye of the
historian, however necessary to clothe and fill in the dry bones of his
history.” Indeed, turning over these musty volumes of newspapers is for
the imaginative mind a pleasure equal to reading the _Tatler_ or
_Spectator_, or the plays of the period. By their means Cowper’s idea of
seeing life “through the loopholes of retreat” is realised, and
characteristic facts and landmarks of progress in the history of
civilisation are brought under our notice, as the busy life of bygone
generations bursts full upon us. We see the merchant at his door, and
inside the dimly-lit shops observe the fine ladies of the time deep in
the mysteries of brocades and other articles of the feminine toilet,
whose very names are now lost to even the mercers themselves. And not
alone intent on flowered mantuas and paduasoys are they, for we can in
fancy see them, keen ever to a fancied bargain, pricing Chinese teapots
or Japanese cabinets, and again watch them as, with fluttering hearts,
they assist at lotteries for valuables of the quality familiar to
“knockouts” of our own time. We hear the lament of the beau who has lost
his clouded amber-headed cane or his heart at the playhouse, and listen
to the noisy quacks vending their nostrums, each praising his own wares
or depreciating those of his rivals. We see the dishonest serving-man
rush past us on the road carrying the heterogeneous treasures which have
tempted his cupidity. Soon the “Hue and Cry” brings the same
ill-favoured malefactor before us in an improved character as
horse-stealer and highwayman; and ere long we hear of the conclusion of
his short drama at Tyburn. Thus the various advertisements portray, with
more or less vividness, lineaments of the times and the characters of
the people.

That the newspapers were early used for the purpose of giving
contradictions by means of advertisement, or effecting sly puffs, is
shown by the following, which was doubtless intended to call attention
to the work, and which was published in the form of an ordinary
paragraph in the _Modern Intelligence_, April 15-22, 1647:--

  There came forth a book this day relating how a divil did appear in
  the house or yard of Mr Young, mercer in Lombard St., with a great
  many particulars there related; It is desired by the gentleman of that
  house, and those of his family, that all that are credulous of those
  things (which few wise are), may be assured that its all fabulous, and
  that there was never any such thing. It is true there is a dog, and
  that dog hath a chain, and the gentleman’s son played upon an
  instrument of music for his recreation,--but these are to be seen,
  which a spirit sure never was.

There is a logical deduction about the conclusion of this which it is to
be hoped forced itself upon the minds of those who were ready to believe
not only in the existence but in the visibility of spirits; and if the
paragraph was but a lift for the book after all, it surely deserved
success, if only for the quaint way in which it admits to the dog and
the boy and the musical instrument, a combination equal upon an
emergency to the simulation of a very powerful devil. In the very next
edition of the same paper we come upon a paragraph which is even more
direct in its advertising properties, which, in fact, might have been
dictated by editorial “friendship” in these days, instead of in the
first half of the seventeenth century. It runs thus:--

  You should have had a notable oration made by the Bishop of Angoulesme
  and Grand Almoner to his Majesty of England, at a Convention in Paris
  in favour of the Catholicks in England and Ireland, but being
  overlarge it will be made public the beginning of next week by itself
  it is worth reading especially by those who are for a generall
  toleration when they may clearly see it is the broad way to the
  destruction of these kingdommes.

[Illustration:

  The 23. of May.

  VVEEKELY
  Nevves from Italy,
  GERMANIE, HVNGARIA,
  BOHEMIA, the PALATINATE,
  France, and the Low Countries.

  _Translated out of the Low Dutch Copie._

  [Illustration]

  LONDON,
  Printed by _I. D._ for _Nicholas Bourne_ and _Thomas
  Archer_, and are to be sold at their shops at the
  _Exchange_, and in _Popes-head Pallace_.
  1622.

]

What is considered by many to be the first _bonâ fide_ and open
advertisement ever published appears in a paper entitled _Several
Proceedings in Parliament_, and is found under the date November
28-December 5, 1650. It runs thus:--

  BY the late tumult made the 27 of November, whereof you have the
  narration before; in the night time in Bexfield, in the county of
  Norfolk, about 12 Horses were stolen out of the town, whereof a
  bay-bald Gelding with three white feet, on the near buttock marked
  with R. F., 9 or 10 years old. A bay-bald Mare with a wall-eye and a
  red star in her face, the near hind foot white, 7 years old. A black
  brown Mare, trots all, 6 years old. Whomsoever brings certain
  intelligence where they are to Mr Badcraft of Bexfield, in Norfolk,
  they shall have 20s. for each Horse.

The following number of the same paper, that for December 5-12, 1650,
contains this:--

  A bright Mare, 12 hands high, one white foot behind, a white patch
  below the saddle, near the side, a black main, a taile cut, a natural
  ambler, about 10_li._ price, stolne, Decemb. 3. neare Guilford. John
  Rylands, a butcher, tall and ruddy, flaxen haire, about 30 years of
  age, is suspected. Mr. Brounloe, a stocking dier, near the Three
  Craynes, in Thames’s Streete, will satisfy those who can make
  discovery.

In 1655, Lilly the astrologer availed himself of what was then
considered the new plan for ventilating a grievance, and accordingly, in
the _Perfect Diurnal_ of April 9-16, he published the following
full-fledged advertisement, one of the earliest extant:--

  _An Advertisement from Mr William Lilly._

  WHEREAS there are several flying reports, and many false and
  scandalous speeches in the mouth of many people in this City, tending
  unto this effect, viz.: That I, William Lilly, should predict or say
  there would be a great Fire in or near the Old Exchange, and another
  in St John’s Street, and another in the Strand near Temple Bar, and in
  several other parts of the City. These are to certifie the whole City
  that I protest before Almighty God, that I never wrote any such
  thing, I never spoke any such word, or ever thought of any such thing,
  or any or all of those particular Places or Streets, or any other
  parts. These untruths are forged by ungodly men and women to disturb
  the quiet people of this City, to amaze the Nation, and to cast
  aspersions and scandals on me: God defend this City and all her
  inhabitants, not only from Fire, but from the Plague, Pestilence, or
  Famine, or any other accident or mortality that may be prejudicial
  unto her greatnesse.

This, if noticed and recollected, must have destroyed, or at least
damaged, Lilly’s fame, when the great fire really did take place; but
then eleven years is a long time, long enough indeed to have included
many and various prophecies. Certainly modern astrologers would have
turned to account the mere fact of having been accused of prophesying
such a fire or any portion of it. In a previous chapter we have given a
specimen of the earliest advertisements with regard to the coaching
arrangements of this time, and now append the following, which would
seem to show, singular as it may appear, that the simpler form, in fact
the first principle, of travelling by means of saddle-horses, was not
arranged until after coaches had been regularly appointed. It appears in
the _Mercurius Politicus_ toward the end of the year 1658:--

  _The Postmasters on_ Chester _Road, petitioning, have received Order,
  and do accordingly publish the following advertisement:--_

  ALL Gentlemen, Merchants, and others, who have occasion to travel
  between _London_ and _Westchester_, _Manchester_, and _Warrington_, or
  any other town upon that Road, for the accommodation of Trade,
  dispatch of Business, and ease of Purse, upon every Monday, Wednesday,
  and Friday Morning, betwixt Six and ten of the Clock, at the house of
  Mr _Christopher Charteris_, at the sign of the Hart’s-Horn, in
  West-Smithfield, and Post-Master there, and at the Post-Master of
  _Chester_, at the Post-Master of _Manchester_, and at the Post-master
  of _Warrington_, may have a good and able single Horse, or more,
  furnished at Threepence the Mile, without the charge of a Guide; and
  so likewise at the house of Mr _Thomas Challenor_, Post-Master, at
  _Stone_ in Staffordshire, upon every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday’s
  Morning, to go for _London_. And so likewise at all the several
  Post-Masters upon the Road, who will have all such set days so many
  Horses with Furniture in readiness to furnish the Riders without any
  stay to carry them to or from any the places aforesaid, in Four days,
  as well to _London_ as from thence, and to places nearer in less time,
  according as their occasions shall require, they ingaging at the first
  Stage where they take Horse, for the safe delivery of the same to the
  next immediate Stage, and not to ride that Horse without consent of
  the Post-Master by whom he rides, and so from Stage to Stage to the
  Journeys end. _All those who intend to ride this way are desired to
  give a little notice beforehand, if conveniently they can, to the
  several Post-masters where they first take horse, whereby they may be
  furnished with so many Horses as the Riders shall require with
  expedition._ This undertaking began the 28 of _June_ 1658 at all the
  Places abovesaid, and so continues by the several Post-Masters.

It is hard to understand how, even if he received notice beforehand, the
first postmaster was enabled to guarantee the readiness of the remaining
officials, unless indeed messengers were constantly passing backwards
and forwards on each route. The intimation that the threepence per mile
does not include a guide does something to clear up the mystery, and at
the same time gives an idea as to the state of the roads at that time.
One would imagine from the existence of such a being that the track was
across a morass, or by the side of a precipice, and not along a highroad
of “merrie England,” in those good old times for which so many sigh now.
Who, although the necessity for the highway is far less than it was two
hundred years ago, can imagine a guide being required nowadays for no
other purpose than that of preventing the wayfarer from straying off the
beaten track, and losing his horse, and probably himself, in some
gigantic slough or quagmire! It is with difficulty one can now realise
to himself the fact, that as late as the middle of the seventeenth
century, the interior of the country was little better than a
wilderness; but that it was so may be easily gathered by a reference to
Pepys, who, in the diary of his journey to Bristol and back, makes
frequent mention of guides, and finds them far from unnecessary or
inexpensive.

The servants of the olden time do not improve upon acquaintance, as the
following specimen advertisement from the _Mercurius Politicus_ of July
1658 will show:--

  IF any one can give notice of one _Edward Perry_, being about the age
  of eighteen or nineteen years, of low stature, black hair, full of
  pock-holes in his face; he weareth a new gray suit trimmed with green
  and other ribbons, a light Cinnamon-colored cloak, and black hat, who
  run away lately from his Master; they are desired to bring or send
  word to _Tho. Firby_, Stationer, at Gray’s Inne gate, who will
  thankfully reward them.

This gay and dashing youth, whose pock-holes were possibly in those days
regarded as but beauty-spots, with the additional recommendation of
showing that their wearer had passed through the then dreaded and
terrible ordeal, was doubtless an idle apprentice travelling in the
direction since made famous by one who served his full indentures. Ugly
as the young gentleman just described may seem to the hypercritical
tastes of the nineteenth century, he, as we will presently show, is a
perfect beauty compared with any individual specimen picked out at
random from the long lists of criminals published in old newspapers.
From these lists some conception may be formed of the ravages of the
small-pox, and its effect upon the appearance of the great bulk of the
population. Every man and woman seems to have been more or less
marked--some slightly, some frightfully pitted or fretted, as the term
then was; yet even now we have every day instances of violent and
ignorant opposition to vaccination, an opposition which is loud-mouthed
and possessed of considerable influence over the lower orders, who are
led to believe that vaccination is the primary cause of all epidemic
disease, including that which it most professes to prevent.

About this time highwaymen, who during the wars were almost unknown,
began to exhibit a strong interest in the portable property of
travellers; and as they took horses whenever they could find them,
notices of lost, stolen, or strayed animals became frequent. It is much
to be feared that the dashing knight of the road, who robbed the rich to
give to the poor, is a complete myth, and that the thieves who infested
the highway were neither brave nor handsome, and not above picking up,
and keeping, the most trifling things that came in their way. The
quality of these riders may be guessed by means of the following, from
the _Mercurius Politicus_ of February 1659, the subject of which,
singularly different from the “prancing prads” of which enthusiasts have
written, seems to have been borrowed by one of them:--

  A Small black NAG, some ten or eleven years old, no white at all,
  bob-Tailed, wel forehanded, somewhat thin behind, thick Heels, and
  goeth crickling and lamish behind at his first going out; the hair is
  beat off upon his far Hip as broad as a twelvepence; he hath a black
  leather Saddle trimmed with blew, and covered with a black
  Calves-skin, its a little torn upon the Pummel; two new Girths of
  white and green thread, and black Bridle, the Rein whereof is sowed on
  the off side, and a knot to draw it on the near side, Stoln out of a
  field at _Chelmsford_, 21 _February_ instant, from Mr _Henry Bullen_.
  Whosoever can bring tidings to the said Mr _Bullen_, at _Bromfield_,
  or to Mr _Newman_ at the Grocer’s Arms in _Cornhil_, shall have 20s.
  for his pains.

It is supposed by some that the great amount of horse-stealing which
prevailed during the Commonwealth, and for the next fifty years, was
caused by an inordinate scarcity of animals consequent upon casualties
in the battle-field. This can hardly be correct, unless, indeed, the
object of the foe was always to kill horses and capture men, a state of
things hardly possible enough for the most determined theorist. One fact
is noticeable, and seems to have been quite in the interest of the
thieves--namely, that when at grass most horses were kept ready saddled.
This practice may have arisen during the Civil Wars from frequent
emergency, a ready-saddled horse being of even greater comparative value
than the traditional bird in the hand; and we all know how hard it is to
depart from custom which has been once established. That the good man
was merciful to his beast in those days hardly appears probable, if we
are to take the small black nag as evidence. His furniture, too, seems
much more adapted for service than show, despite its variety of colours;
and perhaps the animal may have been seized, as was not uncommon, by
some messenger of State making the best of his way from one part of the
kingdom to another. Before the year 1636 there was no such thing as a
postal service for the use of the people. The Court had, it is true, an
establishment for the forwarding of despatches, and in Cromwell’s time
much attention was paid to it; but it was, after all, often in not much
better form than when Bryan Tuke wrote as follows during the sixteenth
century: “The Kinges Grace hath no mor ordinary postes, ne of many days
hathe had, but betweene London and Calais.... For, sir, ye knowe well
that, except the hackney-horses betweene Gravesende and Dovour, there is
no suche usual conveyance in post for men in this realme, as in the
accustomed places of France and other partes; ne men can keepe horses in
redynes withoute som way to bere the charges; but when placardes be sent
for suche cause [to order the immediate forwarding of some State
packet], _the constables many tymes be fayne to take horses out of
ploues and cartes, wherein can be no extreme diligence_.” In Elizabeth’s
reign a horse-post was established on each of the great roads for the
transmission of the letters for the Court; but the Civil Wars
considerably interfered with this, and though in the time of Cromwell
public posts and conveyances were arranged, matters were in a generally
loose state after his death, and during the reign of his sovereign
majesty Charles II. Truly travelling was then a venturesome matter.

In 1659, also, we come upon an advertisement having reference to a work
of the great blind bard John Milton. It appears in the _Mercurius
Politicus_ of September, and is as follows:--

  CONSIDERATIONS touching the likeliest means to remove Hirelings out of
  the Church; wherein is also discours’d of Tithes, Church Fees, Church
  Revenues, and whether any maintenance of Ministers can be settled by
  Law. The author, J. M. Sold by _Livewel Chapman_, at the Crown in
  Pope’s Head Alley.

Here we are, then, brought as it were face to face with one of the
brightest names in the brightest list of England’s poets. This work is
almost swamped amid a host of quaintly and sometimes fiercely titled
controversial works, with which the press at that time teemed. The poet
seems to have known what was impending, and to have conscientiously put
forth his protest. We can guess what weight it had with the hungering
crowds anxiously awaiting the coming change, and ready to be or do
anything so long as place was provided for them. In something like
contrast with the foregoing is this we now select from a number of the
same paper in December of the same year:--

  _George Weale_, a Cornish youth, about 18 or 19 years of age, serving
  as an Apprentice at _Kingston_, with one Mr _Weale_, an Apothecary,
  and his Uncle, about the time of the rising of the Counties _Kent_ and
  _Surrey_, went secretly from his said Uncle, and is conceived to have
  engaged in the same, and to be either dead or slain in some of those
  fights, having never since been heard of, either by his said Uncle or
  any of his Friends. If any person can give notice of the certainty of
  the death of the said _George Weale_, let him repair to the said _Mr
  Graunt_ his House in Drum-alley in Drury Lane, _London_; he shall have
  twenty shillings for his pains.

This speaks volumes for the peculiarities of the times. Nowadays, in the
event of war, anxious relatives are soon put out of their suspense by
means of careful bulletins and regular returns of killed and wounded;
but who can tell the amount of heart-sickness and hope deferred
engendered by the “troubles” of the seventeenth century, or of anxious
thought turned towards corpses mouldering far away, among whom was most
likely George Weale, perhaps the only one of the obscure men slain in
“some of those fights,” whose name has been rescued from oblivion.

In 1660 we find Milton again in the hands of his publisher, just at the
time when the Restoration was considered complete, alone amid the pack
that were ready to fall down before the young King, who was to do so
much to prove the value of monarchy as compared with the Commonwealth.
“The advertisements,” says a writer, referring to this period, “which
appeared during the time that Monk was temporising and sounding his way
to the Restoration, form a capital barometer of the state of feeling
among political men at that critical juncture. We see no more of the old
Fifth-Monarchy spirit abroad. Ministers of the steeple-houses evidently
see the storm coming, and cease their long-winded warnings to a
backsliding generation. Every one is either panting to take advantage of
the first sunshine of royal favour, or to deprecate its wrath, the
coming shadow of which is clearly seen. Meetings are advertised of those
persons who have purchased sequestered estates, in order that they may
address the King to secure them in possession; Parliamentary aldermen
repudiate by the same means charges in the papers that their names are
to be found in the list of those persons who ‘sat upon the tryal of the
late King;’ the works of ‘late’ bishops begin again to air themselves in
the Episcopal wind that is clearly setting in; and ‘The Tears, Sighs,
Complaints, and Prayers of the Church of England’ appear in the
advertising columns, in place of the sonorous titles of sturdy old
Baxter’s works. It is clear there is a great commotion at hand; the
leaves are rustling, and the dust is moving.” In the midst of this,
however, there was one still faithful to the “old cause,” as
Commonwealth matters had got to be called by the Puritans; and on the
8th of March, just when the shadow of the sceptre was once again thrown
upon Great Britain, we find the following in the _Mercurius
Politicus_:--

  THE ready and easie way to establish a free Commonwealth, and the
  excellence thereof compared with the inconveniences and dangers of
  readmitting Kingship in this Nation. The Author, J. M. Wherein, by
  reason of the Printer’s haste, the Errata not coming in time, it is
  desired that the following faults may be amended. Page 9, line 32, for
  _the Areopagus_ read _of Areopagus_. P. 10, l. 3, for _full_ Senate,
  _true_ Senate; l. 4, for fits, is the whole Aristocracy; l. 7, for
  Provincial States, States of every City. P. 17, l. 29, for _cite_,
  _citie_; l. 30, for _left_, _felt_. Sold by _Livewel Chapman_, at the
  Crown, in Pope’s-head Alley.

[Illustration:

  _Numb. 2._

  The Weekly Account:
  Containing,
  Certain Special and Remarkable Passages
  from both Houses of PARLIAMENT; And
  Collections of severall Letters from the
  Armies.

  This _Account_ is Licensed, and Entred into the Register-Book of the
  Company of _Stationers_; And Printed by BERNARD ALSOP,
  _According to Order of_ PARLIAMENT.

  From _Wednesday_ the 6. of Jan. to _Wednesday_ the 13. of January.
  1646.

  _WEDNESDAY_, January 13.

  THe Commissioners appointed by
  the Parliament to go to the
  North, and receive the Kings
  Person, and then conduct him
  to Holmsby house, are these

  _The Earle of Pembroke._
  _The E. of Denbigh._
  _The L. Montague._
  _Sir Iohn Holland._
  _Sir Waker Earl._
  _Sir Iohn Cook._
  _Sir Iames Harrington._
  _Major Gen. Brown._
  _Mr. Iohn Crew._

  Two Ministers, _viz._ _Mr. Marshal_, and _Mr. Carol_, go with
  the Commissioners.

  The Commissioners to the Scots Army, are the Earl of Stamford.

  B

  Mr.

]

Who would think, while reading these calm corrections, that the poet
knew he was in imminent danger, and that in a couple of months he was to
be a proscribed fugitive, hiding in the purlieus of Westminster from
Royalty’s myrmidons? Yet it was so, and the degradation to which
literature may be submitted is proved by the fact that within the same
space of time his works were, in accordance with an order of the House
of Commons, burned by the hangman.

The excessive loyalty exhibited about this time by the lawyers, who were
then, as now, quite able to look after their own interests, shows in
rather a ludicrous light, viewed through the zealous officiousness of Mr
Nicholas Bacon, who must have been the fountspring of the following
effusion, which appears in a June, 1660, number of the _Mercurius
Politicus_:--

  WHEREAS one Capt. _Gouge_, a witness examined against the late King’s
  Majesty, in those Records stiled himself of the Honorable Society of
  _Gray’s_ Inne. These are to give notice that the said _Gouge_, being
  long sought for, was providentially discovered in a disguise, seized
  in that Society, and now in custody, being apprehended by the help of
  some spectators that knew him, viewing of a banner with His Majesties
  arms, set up just at the same time of His Majesties landing, on an
  high tower in the same Society, by _Nicholas Bacon_, Esq., a member
  thereof, as a memorial of so great a deliverance, and testimony of his
  constant loyalty to His Majesty, and that the said _Gouge_ upon
  examination confessed, That he was never admitted not so much as a
  Clerk of that Society.

The King does not seem to have enjoyed his own very long before he was
subjected to loss by the dog-stealers, who, less ready to revere royalty
than the lawyers, led to the publication of the following in the
_Mercurius Publicus_ of June 28, 1660:--

  ☞ A Smooth Black DOG, less than a Grey-hound, with white under his
  breast, belonging to the Kings Majesty, was taken from Whitehall, the
  eighteenth day of this instant _June_, or thereabouts. If any one can
  give notice to _John Ellis_, one of his Majesties servants, or to his
  Majesties Back-Stairs, shall be well rewarded for their labour.

And one who could very probably afford to be despoiled still less--one
of the poor Cavaliers who expected so much from the representative of
Divine right, and who were to be so terribly disappointed--is also
victimised, his whole stock of bag and baggage being annexed by some of
those vagabonds who only see in any public excitement a means to their
own enrichment at the expense of others. Fancy the state of mind of the
elderly gentleman who is so anxious to present himself at Court, while
waiting the return of the articles thus advertised in the _Mercurius
Publicus_ of July 5, 1660:--

  A LEATHERN Portmantle lost at Sittingburn or Rochester, when his
  Majesty came thither, wherein was a suit of Camolet Holland, with two
  little laces in a seam, eight pair of white Gloves, and a pair of Does
  leather; about twenty yards of skie-colourd Ribbon twelvepenny broad,
  and a whole piece of black Ribbon tenpenny broad, a cloath
  lead-coloured cloak, with store of linnen; a pair of shooes, slippers,
  a Montero, and other things; all which belong to a gentleman (a near
  servant to His Majesty) who hath been too long imprisoned and
  sequestered to be now robbed, when all men hope to enjoy their own. If
  any can give notice, they may leave word with Mr _Samuel Merne_, His
  Majesties Book-binder, at his house in Little Britain, and they shall
  be thankfully rewarded.

This _Mercurius Publicus_ from which we have just quoted is said to be
the _Politicus_ we have mentioned in reference to earlier
advertisements, which turned courtier in imitation of the general
example, and changed its name also in emulation of popular practice. All
England seemed then to have gone mad with excessive loyalty, and it is
no wonder that Charles was surprised that he could have been persuaded
to stop away so long. The columns of the _Mercurius Publicus_ were
placed entirely under the direction of the King, and instead of the
slashing articles against malignants, which were wont to appear before
its change of title, it contains, under Restoration dates, virulent
attacks upon the Puritans, and inquiries after his Majesty’s favourite
dogs, which had a curious knack of becoming stolen or lost. In addition
to the canine advertisement already given, we take the following, which
appears during July, and which would seem to have been dictated, if not
actually written, by Charles:--

  ☞ We must call upon you again for a Black Dog, between a Grey-hound
  and a Spaniel, no white about him, onely a streak on his Brest, and
  Tayl a little bobbed. It is His Majesties own Dog, and doubtless was
  stoln, for the Dog was not born nor bred in _England_, and would never
  forsake his Master. Whosoever findes him may acquaint any at Whitehal,
  for the Dog was better known at Court than those who stole him. Will
  they never leave robbing His Majesty? must he not keep a Dog? This
  Dogs place (though better than some imagine) is the only place which
  nobody offers to beg.

This is evidently the dog advertised before, and seems to have been an
especial favourite with the merry monarch, who, one might think, would
have had so many dogs that he could not possibly have missed an
individual from their number. Pepys about this time describes the King,
with a train of spaniels and other dogs at his heels, lounging along and
feeding the water-fowl in the Park; and on later occasions he was often
seen talking to his favourite Nell Gwyn as she leaned from her garden
wall in Pall Mall, whilst his four-footed favourites were grouped about.
It was possibly on these occasions that the gentlemen who have such an
extraordinary faculty for “finding” dogs, even unto this day, saw their
opportunities, and marched off with the choicest specimens. Certainly
the dogs were being constantly lost, and just as constantly advertised.
In turn we find him inquiring after “a little brindled grey-hound bitch,
having her two hinder feet white;” for a “white-haired spaniel,
smooth-coated, with large red or yellowish spots;” and for a “black
mastiff dog, with cropped ears and cut tail.” So it would seem that,
fond as his Majesty was of dogs, he was not above their being cropped
and trimmed in the manner which has of late years caused all the forces
of a well-known society to be arrayed against the “fancy” and the
“finders.” And not alone did the King advertise his lost favourites. As
the fashion was set, so it was followed, and the dogmen’s lives must
then have been cast in pleasant places indeed, for Prince Rupert, “my
lord Albemarle,” the Duke of Buckingham, and many other potent
seigniors, are constantly inquiring after strayed or stolen animals. The
change in the general habits of the time is very clearly shown by these
advertisements. The Puritans did not like sporting animals of any kind,
and it has been said that no dog would have followed a Fifth-Monarchy
man. Perhaps this dislike accounts for the total absence of all
advertisements having reference to field-sports, or to animals connected
therewith, until the return of the Court to England. With its return
came in once more an aristocratic amusement which had faded out during
the stern days of the Commonwealth, hawking, and we are reminded of this
by the following advertisement for a lost lanner, which appears in the
_Mercurius Publicus_ of September 6, 1660:--

  Richard Finney, Esquire, of Alaxton, in Leicestershire, about a
  fortnight since, lost a LANNER from that place; she hath neither Bells
  nor Varvels; she is a white Hawk, and her long feathers and sarcels
  are both in the blood. If any one can give tidings thereof to Mr
  Lambert at the Golden Key in Fleet-street, they shall have forty
  shillings for their pains.

If it be true that the _Mercurius_ changed its name from _Politicus_ to
_Publicus_ out of compliment to the new King and his Court, second
thoughts seem to have been taken, and the original name resumed, for
there is a _Mercurius Politicus_ in November 1660, from which is the
following:--

  _Gentlemen_, you are desired to take notice, That Mr _Theophilus
  Buckworth_ doth at his house on _Mile-end Green_ make and expose to
  sale, for the publick good, those so famous _Lozenges_ or
  _Pectorals_, approved for the cure of Consumption, Coughs, Catarrhs,
  Asthmas, Hoarseness, Strongness of Breath, Colds in general, Diseases
  incident to the Lungs, and a sovoraign Antidote against the Plague,
  and all other contagious Diseases, and obstructions of the Stomach:
  And for more convenience of the people, constantly leaveth them sealed
  up with his coat of arms on the papers, with Mr _Rich. Lowndes_ (as
  formerly), at the sign of the White Lion, near the little north door
  of _Pauls Church_; Mr _Henry Seile_, over against _S. Dunstan’s_
  Church in Fleet Street; Mr _William Milward_, at _Westminster_ Hall
  Gate; Mr _John Place_, at _Furnivals Inn Gate_ in Holborn; and Mr
  _Robert Horn_, at the Turk’s Head near the entrance of the Royal
  Exchange, Booksellers, and no others.

  This is published to prevent the designs of divers Pretenders, who
  counterfeit the said Lozenges, to the disparagement of the said
  Gentleman, and great abuse of the people.

It will be seen from this that quack medicines are by no means modern
inventions--in fact, the wonder is, if our ancestors took a tithe of the
articles advertised, that there is any present generation at all; so
numerous and, even according to their own showing, powerful were the
specifics advertised on every possible opportunity and in connection
with every possible disease. As, however, we shall devote special space
to charlatans further on, we will here simply pass to the following,
which promises rather too much for the price. This is also in the
_Mercurius Politicus_, and appears in December 1660:--

  MOST Excellent and Approved _Dentifrices_ to scour and cleanse the
  Teeth, making them white as Ivory, preserves from the Toothach; so
  that, being constantly used, the parties using it are never troubled
  with the Toothach; it fastens the Teeth, sweetens the Breath, and
  preserves the mouth and gums from Cankers and Imposthumes. Made by
  _Robert Turner_, Gentleman; and the right are onely to be had at
  _Thomas Rookes_, Stationer, at the Holy Lamb at the East end of St
  Pauls Church, near the School, in sealed papers, at 12d. the paper.

  _The Reader is desired to beware of counterfeits._

We can now mark the advent of those monstrous flowing wigs which were in
fashion for nearly a century, and may be fairly assumed to have made
their appearance about the date of this advertisement, which was
published in the _Newes_ of February 4, 1663:--

  WHEREAS _George Grey_, a Barber and Perrywigge-maker, over against the
  _Greyhound Tavern_, in _Black Fryers_, _London_, stands obliged to
  serve some particular Persons of eminent Condition and Quality in his
  way of Employment: It is therefore Notifyed at his desire, that any
  one having long flaxen hayr to sell may repayr to him the said _George
  Grey_, and they shall have 10s. the ounce, and for any other long fine
  hayr after the Rate of 5s. or 7s. the ounce.

Pepys, in his quaint and humorous manner, describes how Chapman, a
periwig-dresser, cut off his hair to make up one of these immense
coverings for him, much to the trouble of his servants, Jane and Bessy.
He also states that “two perriwiggs, one whereof cost me £3 and the
other 40s.,” have something to do with the depletion of his ready money
on the 30th of October 1663. On November 2nd, he says, “I heard the Duke
[Buckingham] say that he was going to wear a perriwigg; and they say the
King also will. I never till this day observed that the King is mighty
gray.” And then on Lord’s day, November 8th, he says, with infinite
quaintness, “To church, where I found that my coming in a perriwigg did
not prove so strange as I was afraid it would, for I thought that all
the church would presently have cast their eyes all upon me.” Pepys was,
it seems, possessed of that rather unpleasant consciousness which
prompts a man who wears anything new or strange for the first time to
believe that all the world, even that portion of it which has never seen
him before, knows he feels anxious and uncomfortable because he has got
new clothes on. The price, ten shillings the ounce, shows that there
must have been an exceptionally heavy demand for flaxen colour by the
wearers of the new-fashioned wigs. Judging by the advertisements just
quoted, as well as by those which follow, there can be no controverting
the statement that the reign of Charles II. “was characterised by
frivolous amusements and by a love of dress and vicious excitement, in
the midst of which pestilence stalked like a mocking fiend, and the
great conflagration lit up the masquerade with its lurid and angry
glare. Together with the emasculate tone of manners, a disposition to
personal violence stained the latter part of this and the succeeding
reign. The audacious seizure of the crown jewels by Blood; the attack
upon the Duke of Ormond by the same desperado, that nobleman having
actually been dragged from his coach in St James’s Street in the
evening, and carried, bound upon the saddle-bow of Blood’s horse, as far
as Hyde Park Corner, before he could be rescued; the slitting of Sir
John Coventry’s nose in the Haymarket by the King’s guard; and the
murder of Sir Edmondbury Godfrey on Primrose Hill, are familiar
instances of the prevalence of this lawless spirit.” There is still one
other memorable and dastardly assault to note, that on “Glorious John,”
and we shall do so in due course.

The _London Gazette_ now appears upon the scene, and this is noticeable,
because of all the papers started before, or for a very considerable
time after, this is the only one which has still an existence. It has
been stated by some writers to have first appeared at Oxford during the
time the Court took up its abode there, while the Great Plague was
raging, but that this was not so is shown by the following, which is
extracted from the _London Gazette_ of January 22, 1664, nearly twelve
months before the outbreak of the Plague. The fact is that during the
residence of the King and Court at Oxford, the official organ changed
its title, and was called the _Oxford Gazette_, to resume its original
name as soon as it resumed its original publishing office.[26]

  A TRUE representation of the Rhonoserous and Elephant, lately brought
  from the East Indies to London, drawn after the life, and curiously
  engraven in Mezzotinto, printed upon a large sheet of paper. Sold by
  PIERCE TEMPEST, at the Eagle and Child in the Strand, over against
  Somerset House, Water Gate.

The ignorance of natural history at this time seems to have been
somewhat marvellous, and anything in the way of a collection of
curiosities was sure to attract a credulous multitude, as is shown by
another notice, published in the _News_ of a date close to that of the
foregoing. The articles are rather scanty, to be sure, but probably the
“huge thighbone of a giant,” whatever it was in reality, was in itself
sufficient to attract, to say nothing of the mummy and torpedo.

  AT the Mitre, near the west end of St Paul’s, is to be seen a rare
  Collection of Curiosityes, much resorted to and admired by persons of
  great learning and quality; among which a choyce Egyptian Mummy, with
  hieroglyphicks; the Ant-Beare of Brasil; a Remora; a Torpedo; the Huge
  Thighbone of a Giant; a Moon Fish; a Tropic Bird, &c.

Evidently something must have been known of mummies, or how could the
exhibitor tell that his was a choice one? Our next item introduces us to
one of those old beliefs which are still to be found in remote parts of
the country. The King, like any mountebank or charlatan, advertises the
time when he will receive, for the purpose of giving the royal touch,
supposed to be sufficient to cure the horrible distemper. Surely he of
all people must have known how futile was the experiment; and it is
passing strange that a people who had tried, condemned, and executed one
king like any common man, should have put faith in such an announcement
as that published in the _Public Intelligencer_ of May 1664, which runs
as follows:--

  WHITEHALL, May 14, 1664. His Sacred Majesty, having declared it to be
  his Royal will and purpose to continue the healing of his people for
  the Evil during the Month of May, and then to give over till
  Michaelmas next, I am commanded to give notice thereof, that the
  people may not come up to Town in the Interim and lose their labour.

Surely such men as Sedley, Rochester, Buckingham, and even Charles
himself, must have laughed at the infatuation of the multitude; for if
ever there was a king whose touch was less likely than another’s to cure
the evil, that king was, in our humble opinion, “his Sacred Majesty”
Charles II. But then people were prepared to go any lengths to make up
for their shortcomings in the previous reign. There was possibly a
political significance about these manifestations of royal ability and
clemency, and some enthusiasts, who believe devoutly in the triumph of
mind over matter, think there is reason to believe in the efficacy of
the touch in scrofulous affections, and even believe that people did
really recover after undergoing the process. Dr Tyler Smith, who has
written on the subject, boldly states his belief that the emotion felt
by these poor stricken people who came within the influence of the
King’s “Sacred Majesty” acted upon them as a powerful tonic; though, as
the King always bestowed a gold piece upon the patient, we think that if
good was derived, it was derived from the comfort procured by that--for
those who suffered and believed were generally in the lowest and poorest
rank of life--and perhaps travelling and change of air had something to
do with it as well. If the arguments of those who believe in the
emotional effect are to be admitted, it must be allowed by parity of
reasoning that where the touch failed, its failure would be likely to
cause the sufferers to become rabid republicans, the Divine right having
refused to exhibit itself. Maybe these latter symptoms, like the
symptoms of other diseases, did not develop in the individual, but came
out in course of generations, which may perhaps account for the large
amount of democracy which has exhibited itself during the present
century. There is certainly something rather ludicrous in the fact that
the practice of touching for the evil ceased with the death of Anne;
not because the people had become more enlightened, but because the
sovereigns who followed her were supposed to have lost the medicinal
virtue through being kings merely by Act of Parliament, and not by
Divine right.

The reaction which set in from the strait-laced rule of the Puritans at
the time of the Restoration, must have reached its height about 1664, if
we may judge by the advertisements then constantly inserted, which
reflect the love of pleasure and folly exhibited by all classes, as if
they were anxious to make up for previous restrictions. In fact, the
chief inquiries are after lacework, or valuables lost at masquerade or
water party, announcements of lotteries at Whitehall, of jewels and
tapestry, and other things to be sold. The following is a fair specimen
of the advertisements of the time, and appears in the _News_ of August
4, 1664:--

  LOST on the 27th July, about Boswell Yard or Drury Lane, a Ladyes
  picture set in gold, and three Keys, with divers other little things
  in a perfumed pocket. Whosoever shall give notice of or bring the said
  picture to Mr Charles Coakine, Goldsmith, near Staples Inne, Holborn,
  shall have 4 times the value of the gold for his payns.

There are also about this time all sorts of quack and nostrum
advertisements, an “antimonial cup,” by means of which every kind of
disease was to be cured, being apparently very popular. Sir Kenelm
Digby, a learned knight, who is said to have feasted his wife with
capons fattened upon serpents for the purpose of making her fair,
advertises a book in which is shown a method of curing the severest
wounds by a sympathetic powder. But even the knight’s efforts pall
before the following, which will go far to show the superstitious leaven
which still hung about the populace:--

  SMALL BAGGS to hang about Children’s necks, which are excellent both
  for the _prevention and cure_ of the _Rickets_, and to ease Children
  in breeding of Teeth, are prepared by Mr Edmund Buckworth, and
  constantly to be had at Mr Philip Clark’s, Keeper of the Library in
  the Fleet, and nowhere else, at 5 shillings a bagge.

We see in the papers of 1665 an increased number of advertisements for
lost and stolen animals, mostly those used in connection with sport; but
this does not go to prove that more dogs, hawks, &c., were missing, so
much as that the advantages of advertising were being discovered
throughout the country; and as London was the only place in which at
that time a newspaper was published, the cry after stray favourites
always came up to town. Strange, indeed, are many of the advertisements
about sports long since passed from amongst us, and the very phrases of
which have died out of the language. It seems hard to imagine that hawks
in all the glory of scarlet hoods were carried upon fair ladies’ wrists,
or poised themselves when uncovered to view their prey, so late as the
time of Charles II., but that it was so, an advertisement already
quoted, as well as the following, shows. It is taken from the
_Intelligencer_ of November 6, 1665:--

  LOST on the 30 October, 1665, an intermix’d Barbary Tercel Gentle,
  engraven in Varvels, Richard Windwood, of Ditton Park, in the county
  of Bucks, Esq. For more particular marks--if the Varvels be taken
  off--the 4th feather in one of the wings Imped, and the third pounce
  of the right foot broke. If any one inform Sir William Roberts, Knight
  and Baronet (near Harrow-on-the-Hill, in the county of Middlesex), or
  Mr William Philips, at the King’s Head in Paternoster Row, of the
  Hawk, he shall be sufficiently rewarded.

Inquiries for hawks and goshawks are by no means scarce, and so we may
imagine that these implements of hunting were hardly so much to be
depended upon as those from the workshop of art and not of nature, which
are in use in the present day. Indeed, the falcon seemed to care much
less, when once set free, for his keeper, than writers of books are
prone to imagine. The King was apparently no more fortunate than the
rest of those who indulged in falconry, for in a copy of the _London
Gazette_, late in 1667, the following is seen:--

  A Sore ger Falcon of His Majesty, lost the 13 of August, who had one
  Varvel of his Keeper, Roger Higs, of Westminster, Gent. Whosoever hath
  taken her up and give notice Sir Allan Apsley, Master of His Majesties
  Hawks at St James’s, shall be rewarded for his paines. Back-Stairs in
  Whitehall.

Sir Allan Apsley was the brother-in-law of the celebrated Colonel
Hutchinson, and brother of the devoted wife whose story everybody has
read. The next advertisement we shall select is published in the _London
Gazette_ of May 10, 1666, and has reference to the precautions taken to
prevent the spread of the Plague. Long before this all public notices of
an idle and frivolous nature have ceased, amusements seem to have lost
their charm, and it is evident from a study of the advertisements alone,
that some great disturbing cause is at work among the good citizens. No
longer does the authorised gambling under the roof of Whitehall go on;
no more are books of Anacreontics published; stopped are all the
assignations but a short time back so frequent; and no longer are
inquiries made after lockets and perfumed bags, dropped during amorous
dalliance, or in other pursuit of pleasure. Death, it is evident, is
busy at work. The quacks, and the writers of semi-blasphemous pamphlets,
have it all to themselves, and doubtless batten well in this time of
trouble. The Plague is busy doing its deadly work, and already the city
has been deserted by all who can fly thence, and only those who are
detained by duty, sickness, poverty, or the want of a clean bill of
health, remain. These bills or licences to depart were only granted by
the Lord Mayor, and the greatest influence often failed to obtain them,
as after the Plague once showed strength it was deemed necessary to
prevent by all and every means the spread of the contagion throughout
the country. The advertisement chosen gives a singular instance of the
manner in which those who had neglected to depart early were penned
within the walls:--

  _Nicholas Hurst_, an Upholsterer, over against the Rose Tavern, in
  Russell-street, Covent-Garden, whose Maid Servant dyed lately of the
  Sickness, fled on Monday last out of his house, taking with him
  several Goods and Household Stuff, and was afterwards followed by one
  Doctor Cary and Richard Bayle with his wife and family, who lodged in
  the same house; but Bayle having his usual dwelling-house in
  Waybridge, in Surrey. Whereof we are commanded to give this Public
  Notice, that diligent search may be made for them, and the houses in
  which any of their persons or goods shall be found may be shut up by
  the next Justice of the Peace, or other his Majesty’s Officers of
  Justice, and notice immediately given to some of his Majesty’s Privy
  Councill, or to one of his Majesty’s principal Secretaries of State.

A great demand seems at this time to have been made for an electuary
much advertised as a certain preventive of the Plague, which was to be
drunk at the Green Dragon, Cheapside, at sixpence a pint. This is,
however, only one among hundreds of specifics which continued to be
thrust upon the public in the columns of the papers, until the real
deliverer of the plague-stricken people appeared--a dreadful deliverer,
it is true, but the only one. The Great Fire, which commenced on the 2nd
of September 1666, and destroyed thirteen thousand houses, rendering
myriads of people homeless, penniless, and forlorn, had its good side,
inasmuch as by it the Plague was utterly driven out of its stronghold,
but not until nearly a hundred thousand persons had perished. Imagine
two such calamities coming almost together; but the purgation by fire
was the only one which could fairly be expected to prove effectual, as
it destroyed the loathsome charnel-houses which would long have held the
taint, and removed a great part of the cause which led to the power of
the fell epidemic. We have in the preceding chapter referred to the
paucity of advertisements which appeared in reference to the new
addresses of those who had been burnt out, and a writer a few years back
makes the following remark upon the same subject: “Singularly enough,
but faint traces of this overwhelming calamity, as it was considered at
the time, can be gathered from the current advertisements. Although the
entire population of the city was rendered houseless, and had to encamp
in the surrounding fields, where they extemporised shops and streets,
not one hint of such a circumstance can be found in the public
announcements of the period. No circumstance could afford a greater
proof of the little use made by the trading community of this means of
publicity in the time of Charles II. If a fire only a hundredth part so
destructive were to occur in these days, the columns of the press would
immediately be full of the new addresses of the burnt-out shopkeepers;
and those who were not even damaged by it would take care to ‘improve
the occasion’ to their own advantage. We look in vain through the pages
of the _London Gazette_ of this and the following year for one such
announcement: not even the tavern-keeper tells us the number of his
booth in Goodman’s-fields, although quack medicine flourished away in
its columns as usual.” We have already shown that one advertisement at
least was published in reference to removal caused by the fire, but as
it did not appear till six or seven years afterwards, it is a solitary
exception to the rule, indeed. In 1667, notifications occurred now and
then of some change in the site of a Government office, caused by the
disturbances incident on the fire, or of the intention to rebuild by
contract some public structure. Of these the following, which appears in
the _London Gazette_, is a good specimen:--

  ALL Artificers of the several Trades that must be used in Rebuilding
  the Royal Exchange may take notice, that the Committee appointed for
  management of that Work do sit at the end of the long gallery in
  Gresham Colledge every Monday in the forenoon, there and then to treat
  with such as are fit to undertake the same.

As nothing occurs in the way of advertisements worthy of remark or
collection for the next few years, we will take this convenient
opportunity of obtaining a brief breathing space.

  [26] The _London Gazette_ was first published 22d August 1642. The
  first number of the existing “published-by-authority” series was
  imprinted first at Oxford, where the Court was stationed for fear of
  the Plague, on November 7, 1665, and afterwards at London on February
  5, 1666.




CHAPTER VII.

_CONCLUSION OF SEVENTEENTH CENTURY._


Let us commence here with the year 1674, a period when the rages and
fashions, the plague and fire, and the many things treated of by means
of advertisements in the preceding chapter, had plunged England into a
most unhappy condition. The reaction from Puritanism was great, but the
reaction from royalty and extravagance threatened to be still greater.
Speaking of the state of affairs about this time, a famous historian,
who has paid particular attention to the latter part of the seventeenth
century, says: “A few months after the termination of hostilities on the
Continent, came a great crisis in English politics. Towards such a
crisis things had been tending during eighteen years. The whole stock of
popularity, great as it was, with which the King had commenced his
administration, had long been expended. To loyal enthusiasm had
succeeded profound disaffection. The public mind had now measured back
again the space over which it had passed between 1640 and 1660, and was
once more in the state in which it had been when the Long Parliament
met. The prevailing discontent was compounded of many feelings. One of
these was wounded national pride. That generation had seen England,
during a few years, allied on equal terms with France, victorious over
Holland and Spain, the mistress of the sea, the terror of Rome, the head
of the Protestant interest. Her resources had not diminished; and it
might have been expected that she would have been, at least, as highly
considered in Europe under a legitimate king, strong in the affection
and willing obedience of his subjects, as she had been under an usurper
whose utmost vigilance and energy were required to keep down a mutinous
people. Yet she had, in consequence of the imbecility and meanness of
her rulers, sunk so low, that any German or Italian principality which
brought five thousand men into the field, was a more important member of
the commonwealth of nations. With the sense of national humiliation was
mingled anxiety for civil liberty. Rumours, indistinct indeed, but
perhaps the more alarming by reason of their indistinctness, imputed to
the Court a deliberate design against all the constitutional rights of
Englishmen. It had even been whispered that this design was to be
carried into effect by the intervention of foreign arms. The thought of
such intervention made the blood, even of the Cavaliers, boil in their
veins. Some who had always professed the doctrine of non-resistance in
its full extent, were now heard to mutter that there was one limitation
to that doctrine. If a foreign force were brought over to coerce the
nation, they would not answer for their own patience. But neither
national pride nor anxiety for public liberty had so great an influence
on the popular mind as hatred of the Roman Catholic religion. That
hatred had become one of the ruling passions of the community, and was
as strong in the ignorant and profane as in those who were Protestants
from conviction. The cruelties of Mary’s reign--cruelties which even in
the most accurate and sober narrative excite just detestation, and which
were neither accurately nor soberly related in the popular
martyrologies--the conspiracies against Elizabeth, and above all, the
Gunpowder Plot, had left in the minds of the vulgar a deep and bitter
feeling, which was kept up by annual commemorations, prayers, bonfires,
and processions. It should be added that those classes which were
peculiarly distinguished by attachment to the throne, the clergy and the
landed gentry, had peculiar reasons for regarding the Church of Rome
with aversion. The clergy trembled for their benefices, the landed
gentry for their abbeys and great tithes. While the memory of the reign
of the Saints was still recent, hatred of Popery had in some degree
given place to hatred of Puritanism; but during the eighteen years which
had elapsed since the Restoration, the hatred of Puritanism had abated,
and the hatred of Popery had increased.... The King was suspected by
many of a leaning towards Rome. His brother and heir-presumptive was
known to be a bigoted Roman Catholic. The first Duchess of York had died
a Roman Catholic. James had then, in defiance of the remonstrances of
the House of Commons, taken to wife the Princess Mary of Modena, another
Roman Catholic. If there should be sons by this marriage, there was
reason to fear that they might be bred Roman Catholics, and that a long
succession of princes hostile to the established faith might sit on the
English throne. The constitution had recently been violated for the
purpose of protecting the Roman Catholics from the penal laws. The ally
by whom the policy of England had during many years been chiefly
governed, was not only a Roman Catholic, but a persecutor of the
Reformed Churches. Under such circumstances, it is not strange that the
common people should have been inclined to apprehend a return of the
times of her whom they called Bloody Mary.” Such was the unhappy state
of affairs at this period, and though its effect is soon shown in the
advertisement columns of the papers, one would think times were piping
and peaceful indeed to read the following, extracted from the _London
Gazette_ of October 15-19, 1674:--

  _WHITEHALL, October 17._--A square Diamond with his Majesty’s Arms
  upon it having been this day lost out of a seal in or about Whitehall,
  or St James’s Park or House; Any person that shall have found the same
  is required to bring it to _William Chiffinch_, Esq., Keeper of his
  Majesty’s Closet, and he shall have ten pounds for a Reward.

Doubtless this Chiffinch, the degraded being who lived but to pander to
the debauched tastes of his royal and profligate employer, thought
nothing of politics or of the signs of the times, and contented himself
with the affairs of the Backstairs, caring little for Titus Oates, and
less for his victims. Some short time after the foregoing was published
(March 20-23, 1675), Chiffinch published another loss in the _Gazette_.
This is it:--

  FLOWN out of St James’s Park, on Thursday night last, a Goose and a
  Gander, brought from the river Gambo in the East Indies, on the Head,
  Back and Wings they are of a shining black, under the Throat about the
  Eyes and the Belly white. They have Spurs on the pinions of the Wings,
  about an inch in length, the Beaks and Legs of a muddy red; they are
  shaped like a Muscovy Mallard, but larger and longer legg’d. Whoever
  gives notice to Mr Chiffinch at Whitehall, shall be well rewarded.

Whether the prince of pimps ever had to give the reward, we are not in a
position to state; we should, however, think that his advertisement
attracted little attention, for we are now in the midst of the
excitement which led to the pretended plots and troubles that made every
man suspect his neighbour, and when the cry of Recusant or Papist was
almost fatal to him against whom it was directed. That this feeling once
roused was not to be subdued even in death, is shown by a notice in the
_Domestick Intelligence_ of July 22, 1679:--

  WHEREAS it was mentioned in the last “Intelligence” that Mr Langhorn
  was buried in the Temple Church, there was a mistake in it, for it was
  a Loyal Gentleman, one Colonel Acton, who was at that time buried by
  his near relations there: And Mr Langhorn was buried that day in the
  Churchyard of St Giles-in-the-Fields, very near the five Jesuits who
  were executed last.

  John Playford, Clerke to the Temple Church.

Here is intolerance with a vengeance, but in the year 1679 reverence for
persons or things was conspicuously absent, and this is best shown by
the advertisement which was issued for the purpose of discovering the
ruffians, or their patron, who committed the brutal assault upon John
Dryden. It appears in the _London Gazette_ of December 22, 1679:--

  WHEREAS _John Dryden_, Esq., was on Monday, the 18th instant, at
  night, barbarously assaulted and wounded, in Rose Street in Covent
  Garden, by divers men unknown; if any person shall make discovery of
  the said offenders to the said Mr Dryden, or to any Justice of the
  Peace, he shall not only receive Fifty Pounds, which is deposited in
  the hands of Mr Blanchard, Goldsmith, next door to Temple Bar, for the
  said purpose, but if he be a principal or an accessory in the said
  fact, his Majesty is graciously pleased to promise him his pardon for
  the same.

Notwithstanding the offer of this money, it was never discovered who
were the perpetrators, or who was the instigator of this cudgelling.
Some fancy its promoter was Rochester, who was offended at some
allusions to him in an “Essay on Satire,” written jointly by Dryden and
Lord Mulgrove; while others declare that the vanity of the Duchess of
Portsmouth, one of the King’s many mistresses, having been offended by a
_jeu d’esprit_ of the poet’s, she procured him a rough specimen of her
favours. Others, again, have suspected Buckingham, who was never on the
best of terms with Dryden, and who sat for the portrait drawn in Zimri
(“Absalom and Achitophel”); but profligate and heartless libertine as
Villiers was, he was above such a ruffianly reprisal. In the _Domestick
Intelligence_ of December 23, 1679, the assault is thus described: “Upon
the 17th instant in the evening Mr Dryden the great poet, was set upon
in Rose Street in Covent Garden, by three persons, who, calling him
rogue, and son of a whore, knockt him down and dangerously wounded him,
but upon his crying out murther, they made their escape; it is conceived
that they had their pay beforehand, and designed not to rob him but to
execute on him some _Feminine_, if not _Popish_, vengeance.” In a
subsequent number of the same paper there is the following
advertisement:--

  _WHEREAS there has been printed of late an Advertisement about the
  Discovery of those who assaulted_ Mr Dryden, _with a promise of pardon
  and reward to the Discoverer; For his further encouragement, this is
  to give notice, that if the said Discoverer shall make known the
  Person who incited them to that unlawful action, not only the
  Discoverer himself but any of those who committed the fact, shall be
  freed from all manner of prosecution_.

As a seasonable illustration we present an exact facsimile of a
newspaper containing reference to the attack. It is complete as it
appears, being simply a single leaf printed back and front, and so the
stories of men repeating a whole newspaper from memory are not so
wonderful after all. This year (1679) is memorable among journalists as
being the first which saw a rising press emancipated, a fact which is
sufficiently interesting to be chronicled here, although our subject is
not newspapers, but only the advertisements contained in them.[27]

During all this time it must not be supposed that the vendors of quack
medicines were at all idle. No political or religious disturbance was
ever allowed to interfere with them, and their notices appeared as
regularly as, or if possible more regularly than, ever. In a paper we
have not before met, the _Mercurius Anglicus_, date March 6-10, 1679-80,
we are introduced for the first time to the cordial which was destined
to become so popular among nurses with whom neither the natural milk nor
that of human kindness was plentiful, viz., Daffy’s Elixir:--

  WHEREAS divers Persons have lately exposed to sale a counterfeit drink
  called ELIXIR SALUTIS, the true drink so called being first published
  by Mr Anthony Daffy, who is the only person that rightly and truly
  prepares it, he having experienced its virtues for above 20 years
  past, by God’s blessing curing multitudes of people afflicted with
  various distempers therewith, the receit whereof he never communicated
  to any person living; and that these persons the better to colour
  their deceit, have reported Mr Anthony Daffy to be dead, these are to
  certify That the said Mr Anthony Daffy is still living and in good
  health, at his house in Prujean court in the old Bailey, and that only
  there and at such places as he has appointed in his printed sheets of
  his Elixir’s virtues (which printed sheets are sealed with his seal)
  the true ELIXIR SALUTIS or choice CORDIAL DRINK OF HEALTH is to be
  sold.

It is noticeable that about this time people were never sure what year
they were in until March, and often during that month; and this is not
only so in the dates on newspapers, but is found in Pepys and other
writers of the period. Some journals do not give the double date as
above, for we have before us as we write two copies of the _Domestick
Intelligence; or, News both from City and Country_, “Published to
prevent false Reports,” No. 49 being dated “Tuesday, Decemb. 23, 1679;”
and No. 52, “Friday, January 2, 1679.” This has not, as many people have
imagined, anything to do with the difference between the New Calendar
and the Old, as our alteration of style did not take place till the
middle of the next century. It must have been a relic of the old
Ecclesiastical year which still affects the financial budget.

That the “agony column” of the present day is the result of slow and
laborious growth is shown by an advertisement, cut from a _Domestick
Intelligence_ of March 1681, which contains an urgent appeal to one who
has in umbrage departed from home:--

  ☞ WHEREAS a Person in London on some discontent did early on Monday
  morning last retire from his dwelling-house and not yet return’d, it
  is the earnest request of several of his particular friends, that the
  said person would speedily repair to some or one of them, that he
  thinks most fit; it being of absolute necessity, for reasons he does
  not yet know off.

An advertisement of this kind, without name or initials, might now, like
the celebrated appeal to John Smith, apply itself to the minds of so
many who had left their families “on some discontent,” that there would
be quite a stampede for home among the married men making a temporary
sojourn away from the domestic hearth and its attendant difficulties.
Many of them would perhaps find themselves as unwelcome as unexpected.

Our next selection will be interesting to those who are curious on the
subject of insurance, which must have been decidedly in its infancy on
July 6, 1685, the day on which the following appeared in the _London
Gazette_:--

  THERE having happened a Fire on the 24th of the last month by which
  several houses of the friendly society were burned to the value of 965
  pounds, these are to give notice to all persons of the said society
  that they are desired to pay at the office Faulcon Court in Fleet
  Street their several proportions of their said loss, which comes to
  five shillings and one penny for every hundred pounds insured, before
  the 12th of August next.

Advertisements are so far anything but plentiful, there being rarely
more than two or three at most beyond the booksellers’ and quack
notices; and although nowadays the columns of a newspaper are supposed
to be unequalled for affording opportunities for letting houses and
apartments, the hereunder notice was, at the time of its publication in
the _London Gazette_, August 17, 1685, perfectly unique:--

  THE EARL of BERKELEY’S HOUSE, with Garden and Stables, in St John’s
  Lane, not far from Smith Field, is to be Let or Sold for Building.
  Enquire of Mr Prestworth, a corn chandler, near the said house, and
  you may know farther.

Any one who passes through St John’s Lane now, with its squalid
tenements, dirty shops, and half-starved population, will have to be
possessed of a powerful imagination indeed to picture an earl’s
residence as ever standing in the dingy thoroughfare, notwithstanding
the neighbourhood has the advantage of a beautiful brand-new
meat-market, in place of the old cattle-pens which formerly stood on the
open space in front of Bartholomew’s Hospital. Yet as proof of the
aristocratic meetings which used to be held in St John’s Lane, the
Hospitallers’ Gate still crosses it--the gate which even after the days
of chivalry had departed had still a history to make, not of bloodshed
and warfare certainly, but of a connection with the highest and finest
description of literature.

We now come to the year 1688, when advertising was more common than
before, and when Charles having passed away, James held temporary
possession of the throne. One, published in the _Gazette_ of March 8, is
suggestive of the religious tumult which would shortly end in his
downfall:--

  CATHOLIC LOYALTY, ☞ upon the Subject of Government and Obedience,
  delivered in a SERMON before the King and Queen, in His Majesties
  Chapel at Whitehall, on the 13 of June 1687, by the Revnd. Father
  Edward Scaraisbroke, priest of the Society of Jesus. Published by His
  Majesty’s Command. Sold by Raydal Taylor near Stationers Hall, London.

Just about this period dreadful outrages were of common occurrence; men
were knocked down in the street in open daylight, robbed, and murdered,
and not a few deaths were the outcome of private and party hatred.
Municipal law was set at defiance, and any small body of desperadoes
could do as they liked unchecked, unless they happened to be
providentially opposed by equal or superior force, when they generally
turned tail, for their practice was not to fight so much as to beat and
plunder the defenceless. Here is a notice which speaks volumes for the
state of affairs. It is published in the _London Gazette_, and bears
date March 29, 1688:--

  WHEREAS a Gentleman was, on the eighteenth at night, mortally wounded
  near Lincoln’s Inn, in Chancery Lane, in view as is supposed of the
  coachman that set him down: these are to give notice that the said
  coachman shall come in and declare his knowledge of the matter; if any
  other person shall discover the said coachman to John Hawles, at his
  chamber in Lincoln’s Inn, he shall have 5 guineas reward.

About this time some show is made on behalf of those credulous folk who
believe that all highwaymen in the good old times were brave, dashing,
highly educated, and extremely handsome; for we find several inquiries
after robbers who, before troubles came upon them, held superior
positions in society. Here is one of the year 1688:--

  _WHEREAS Mr Herbert Jones_, Attorney-at-Law in the Town of Monmouth,
  well known by being several years together Under-Sheriff of the same
  County, hath of late divers times robbed the Mail coming from that
  town to London, and taken out divers letters and writs, and is now
  fled from justice, and supposed to have sheltered himself in some of
  the new-raised troops. These are to give notice that whosoever shall
  secure the said Herbert Jones, so as to be committed in order to
  answer these said crimes, may give notice thereof to Sir Thomas
  Fowles, goldsmith, Temple-bar, London, or to Mr Michael Bohune,
  mercer, in Monmouth, and shall have a guinea’s reward.

Mr Jones, culpable as he undoubtedly was, seems to have possessed a
sense of honour, and probably he served his friends as well as himself
by taking the writs from the mail. The reward offered for his
apprehension is so paltry in proportion to the outcry raised, that a
disinterested reader, _i.e._, one who has never felt the smart of
highway robbery, cannot help hoping that he got clear off, or that at
all events he cheated the gallows by earning a soldier’s death “in some
of the new-raised troops.” Although Mr Jones was a gentleman thief, and
had gentlemanly associates, he and his friends are the exceptions to the
rule; for robbers generally are described as a very sad as well as a
very ugly lot of reprobates. Also in the same eventful year of delivery
we find the following, which appears in the _London Gazette_, the
subject of it having evidently thought to avail himself of the
disturbances of the time, but whether successfully or the reverse, does
not appear:--

  RUN away from his master, Captain St Lo, the 21st instant, Obdelah
  Ealias Abraham, a Moor, swarthy complexion, short frizzled hair, a
  gold ring in his ear, in a black coat and blew breeches. He took with
  him a blew Turkish watch-gown, a Turkish suit of clothing that he used
  to wear about town, and several other things. Whoever brings him to Mr
  Lozel’s house in Green Street shall have one guinea for his charges.

This advertisement is suggestive of the taste in blackamoors, which
began to manifest itself about this time, and which had a long run--the
coloured creature who was in later times a negro, but in these a Moor,
being often regarded as a mere soulless toy, a companion of the pug-dog,
or an ornament to be classified with the vases and other china
monstrosities which were just then the vogue. The next advertisement we
have is of a very different character, and has a distinct bearing upon
the political question of the times; it also seems to show that the
value of advertising was beginning to be still more understood, and that
with the advent of a new sovereign the attention of the commercial
classes was once more directed so much to business that even party
feeling was to be made a source of profit. The extract is from the _New
Observator_ of July 17, 1689:--

  ORANGE CARDS, representing the late King’s reign and expedition of the
  Prince of Orange; viz. The Earl of Essex Murther, Dr Otes Whipping,
  Defacing the Monument, My Lord Jeferies in the West hanging of
  Protestants, Magdalen College, Trial of the Bishops, Castle Maine at
  Rome, The Popish Midwife, A Jesuit Preaching against our Bible,
  Consecrated Smock, My Lord Chancellor at the Bed’s feet, Birth of the
  Prince of Wales, The Ordinare Mass-house pulling down and burning by
  Captain Tom and his Mobile, Mortar pieces in the Tower, The Prince of
  Orange Landing, The Jesuits Scampering, Father Peter’s Transactions,
  The fight at Reading, The Army going over to the Prince of Orange,
  Tyrconnel in Ireland, My Lord Chancellor in the Tower. With many other
  remarkable passages of the Times. To which is added the efigies of our
  Gracious K. William & Q. Mary, curiously illustrated and engraven in
  lively figures, done by the performers of the first Popish Plot Cards.
  Sold by Donnan Newman, the publisher and printer of the New
  Observator.

This was a popular and rather practical method of celebrating the
triumph of the Whigs, and as Bishop Burnet was the editor of the _New
Observator_, and these cards were sold by his publisher, he is very
likely to have had a hand in their promotion. About now the traffic in
African slaves commenced, and these full-blooded blacks gradually
displaced the Moors and Arabs, who had formerly been the prevalent
coloured “fancy.” It is supposed that the taste for these dark-skinned
servants was derived from the Venetians, whose intercourse with the
traders of India and Africa naturally led to their introduction. Moors
are constantly being associated with the sea-girt Republic, both in
literature and art, Shakespeare’s “Moor of Venice” being somewhat of an
instance in point; while Titian and other painters of his school were
extremely fond of portraying coloured men of all descriptions. By 1693,
however, the negro had not altogether pushed out the Moor, if we may
judge by an advertisement dated January 9-12, 1692-93, and appearing in
the _London Gazette_:--

  THOMAS GOOSEBERRY, a blackamoor, aged about 24 years, a thin slender
  man, middle stature, wears a periwig: Whoever brings him to Mr John
  Martin at Guildhall Coffeehouse, shall have two guineas Reward.

Another advertisement, which appears in the same paper a couple of years
later, shows that the owners of these chattels considered their rights
of property complete, as they put collars round their necks with names
and addresses, just the same as they would have placed on a dog, or
similar to that worn by “Gurth the thrall of Cedric.” This individual
seems to have been different from any of the others we have met, as he
is evidently a dusky Asiatic who has been purchased from his parents by
some adventurous trader, and whose thraldom sits heavily upon him. This
is his description:--

  A BLACK boy, an Indian, about thirteen years old, run away the 8th
  instant from Putney, with a collar about his neck with this
  inscription: ‘The Lady Bromfield’s black in Lincoln’s Inn Fields.’
  Whoever brings him to Sir Edward Bromfield’s at Putney shall have a
  guinea reward.

It seems hardly possible that a poor little wretch like this would have
run away--for whither could he run with any hope of securing his
freedom?--unless he had been unkindly treated. There is little
doubt--though we are, through the medium of the pictures of this and a
later time, in the habit of regarding the dark-faced, white-turbaned,
and white-toothed slaves as personifications of that happiness which is
denied to higher intellects and fairer fortunes--that often they were
the victims of intense cruelty, and now and then of that worst of all
despotisms, the tyranny of an ill-natured and peevish woman.

We now come upon an advertisement, which shows something of the desire
that was always felt by residents in the country for the least
scintillations of news; and the concoctor of the notice seems fully
aware of this desire, as well as possessed of a plan by means of which
he may make it a source of profit to himself. It occurs in a copy of the
_Flying Post_ of the year 1694:--

  IF any Gentleman has a mind to oblige his country friend or
  correspondent, with an account of Public affairs he may have it for
  twopence of J. Salusbury at the Rising Sun in Cornhill, on a sheet of
  fine paper, half of which being blank, he may thereon write his own
  private business or the material news of the day.

By this means the newspaper and the private letter were combined, and it
is easy to understand the delight with which a gossiping and
scandalising effusion, possessed of the additional advantage of being
written on this kind of paper, was received at a lonely country house,
by people pining after the gaieties of metropolitan life. The newsletter
proper was a very ancient article of intercommunication, and it seems
strange that it should have flourished long after the introduction of
newspapers, which it certainly did. This may be accounted for by the
fact, that during the time of the Rebellion it was much safer to write
than to print any news which was intended to be read at a distance, or
which had any political significance. It has been remarked that many of
these newsletters “were written by strong partisans, and contained
information which it was neither desirable nor safe that their opponents
should see. They were passed on from hand to hand in secret, and often
indorsed by each successive reader. We are told that the Cavaliers, when
taken prisoners, have been known to eat their newsletters; and some of
Prince Rupert’s, which had been intercepted, are still in existence, and
bear dark red stains which testify to the desperate manner in which they
were defended. It is pretty certain, however, that as a profession
newsletter writing began to decline after the Revolution, though we find
the editor of the _Evening Post_, as late as the year 1709, reminding
its readers that ‘there must be three or four pounds a year paid for
written news.’ At the same time, the public journals, it is clear, had
not performed that part of their office which was really more acceptable
to the country reader than any other--the retailing the political and
social chit-chat of the day. We have only to look into the public papers
to convince ourselves how woefully they fell short in a department which
must have been the staple of the newswriter.” It would seem, therefore,
that this effort of Mr Salusbury was to combine the old letter with the
modern paper, and thus at once oblige his customers and save a
time-honoured institution from passing away. It would seem as if he
succeeded, for there are in the British Museum many specimens of papers,
half print half manuscript; and as most of the written portions are of
an extremely treasonable nature, possibly the opportunity to send the
kind of news which suited them best, and thus combine friendship and
duty, was eagerly seized by the Jacobites. But how singular after all it
seems for an editor to invite his subscribers to write their own news
upon their own newspapers!

We are now getting very near the end of the seventeenth century, and
among the curious and quaint advertisements which attract attention, as
we pore over the old chronicles which mark the close of the eventful
cycle which has seen so much of revolution and disaster, and of the
worst forms of religious and political fanaticisms carried to their most
dreadful extremes, is the following. It appears in Salusbury’s _Flying
Post_ of October 27, 1696, and gives a good idea of manners and customs,
which do not so far appear to have altered for the better:--

  WHEREAS six gentlemen (all of the same honourable profession), having
  been more than ordinary put to it for a little pocket-money, did, on
  the 14th instant, in the evening near Kentish town, borrow of two
  persons (in a coach) a certain sum of money, without staying to give
  bond for the repayment: And whereas fancy was taken to the hat,
  peruke, cravate, sword and cane, of one of the creditors, which were
  all lent as freely as the money: these are, therefore, to desire the
  said six worthies, how fond soever they may be of the other loans, to
  unfancy the cane again, and send it to Will’s Coffee-house, in
  Scotland yard; it being too short for any such proper gentlemen as
  they are, to walk with, and too small for any of their important uses
  and withal, only valuable as having been the gift of a friend.

And just about this time we come upon some more applications from our
old friend Houghton, who seems to be doing a thriving business, and is
as full of wants as even he could almost desire. In a number of his
_Collection for the Improvement of Husbandry and Trade_ he expresses a
wish as follows:--

  ----I want an Englishman that can tolerably well speak French (if
  Dutch too so much the better), and that will be content to sit at home
  keeping accounts almost his whole time, and give good security for his
  fidelity, and he shall have a pretty good salary.

And again, his wishes being evidently for the perfection of servants,
even to--which is rather an anomaly in domestic servitude--getting
security. Many servants must in those days have wished to get security
for the honesty of their masters:--

  ----I want to wait on a gentleman in the City a young man that writes
  a pretty good hand, and knows how to go to market, must wait on
  company that comes to the house and wear a livery, has had the
  small-pox, and can give some small security for his honesty.

Houghton was noticeable for expressing a decided opinion with regard to
the quality of whatever he recommends, and, as we have shown, was not at
all modest in his own desires. Even he, however, could rarely have
designed such a bargain as this:--

  ----One that is fit to keep a warehouse, be a steward or do anything
  that can be supposed an intelligent man that has been a shopkeeper is
  fit for, and can give any security that can be desired as far as ten
  thousand pounds goes, and has some estate of his own, desires an
  employment of one hundred pounds a year or upwards. I can give an
  account of him.

This is the last we shall see of old Houghton, who did much good in his
time, not only for other people but for himself as well, and who may be
fairly regarded as, if not the father, certainly one of the chief
promoters of early advertising.

The next public notice we find upon our list is one which directs itself
to all who may wish to be cured of madness, though why people who are
really and comfortably mad should wish to have the trouble of being
sane, we do not profess to understand. However, it is not likely that
this gentleman helped them, for he overdoes it, and offers rather too
much. The notice appears in the _Post Boy_ of January 6-9, 1699:--

  IN Clerkenwell Close, where the figure of Mad People are over the
  gate, Liveth one who by the Blessing of God, cureth all Lunitck
  distracted or Mad People, he seldom exceeds 3 months in the cure of
  the maddest Person that comes in his house, several have been cured in
  a fortnight and some in less time; he has cured several from Bedlam
  and other mad-houses in and about this City and has conveniency for
  people of what quality soever. No cure no money. He likewise cureth
  the dropsy infallibly and has taken away from 10, 12, 15, 20 gallons
  of water with a gentle preparation. He cureth them that are 100 miles
  off as well as them that are in town, and if any are desirous they may
  have a note at his house of several that he hath cured.

Notwithstanding the writer’s proficiency in the cure of lunatics, he
seems to have been sorely exercised with regard to the spelling of the
word, and he is ingenious enough in other respects. The remark about no
cure no pay, it is noticeable, refers only to the cases of lunacy, and
not to those of dropsy, for the evident reason that it is quite possible
to make a madman believe he is sane, while it would be rather hard to
lead a dropsical person into the impression that he is healthy. Quacks
swarm about this period, but as we shall devote special attention to
them anon, we will now step into the year 1700, beginning with the
_Flying Post_ for January 6-9, which contains this, a notice of a
regular physician of the time:--

  AT the Angel and Crown in Basing-lane near Bow-lane liveth J. Pechey,
  a Graduate in the University of Oxford, and of many years standing in
  the College of Physicians in London: where all sick people that come
  to him, may have for Six pence a faithful account of their diseases,
  and plain directions for diet and other things they can prepare
  themselves. And such as have occasion for Medicines may have them of
  him at any reasonable rates, without paying anything for advice. And
  he will visit any sick person in London or the Liberties thereof in
  the day time for two shillings and Six pence, and anywhere else within
  the Bills of Mortality for Five shillings. And if he be called in by
  any person as he passes by in any of these places, he will require but
  one shilling for his advice.

This is cheap enough, in all conscience, and yet there is little doubt
that the afflicted infinitely preferred the nostrums so speciously
advertised by empirics to treatment according to the pharmacopœia. We
have good authority for the statement that faith will move mountains,
and it seems, if we are to judge by the testimonials published from
time immemorial by vendors of ointment and pills, to have moved
mountainous tumours, wens, and carbuncles, for without it soft soap,
bread, and bacon fat would be of little use indeed. Glorious John Dryden
died early in this year, and a hoaxing advertisement appeared in the
_Post Boy_ of May 4-7, which called for elegies, &c.:--

  THE Death of the famous John Dryden Esq. Poet Laureat to their two
  late Majesties, King Charles and King James the Second; being a
  Subject capable of employing the best pens, and several persons of
  quality and others, having put a stop to his interment, which is to be
  in Chaucer’s grave, in Westminster Abbey: This is to desire the
  gentlemen of the two famous universities, and others who have a
  respect for the memory of the deceas’d, and are inclinable to such
  performances, to send what copies they please as Epigrams, etc. to
  Henry Playford at his shop at the Temple-Change in Fleet street, and
  they shall be inserted in a Collection which is design’d after the
  same nature and in the same method (in what language they shall
  please) as is usual in the composures which are printed on solemn
  occasions at the two Universities aforesaid.

Other advertisements followed this, and from them it appears that the
shop of Henry Playford was inundated with manuscripts of all lengths and
kinds, and in many languages. What became of them does not make itself
known, which is a pity, as many must have been equal to any specimen
which occurs in the “Rejected Addresses,” with the advantage and
recommendation of being genuine.

It is strange that so far we have met with no theatrical or musical
advertisement or public notice of any forthcoming amusement, for it
appeared most probable that as soon as ever advertising became at all
popular it would have been devoted to the interest of all pursuits of
pleasure. In 1700, however, we come upon what must be considered the
really first advertisement issued from a playhouse, and, as a curiosity,
reproduce it from the columns of the _Flying Post_ of July 4:--

  ☞ AT the request and for the Entertainment of several persons of
  quality at the _New Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields_, to morrow, being
  Friday the 5th of this instant, _July_, will be acted “The Comical
  History of _Don Quixote_,” both parts made into one by the author.
  With a new entry by the little boy, being his last time of dancing
  before he goes to _France_: Also Mrs. _Elford’s_ new entry, never
  performed but once and Miss _Evans’s_ jigg and _Irish_ dance: with
  several new comical dances, composed and performed by Monsier _L’Sac_
  and others. Together with a new Pastoral Dialogue, by Mr _Gorge_ and
  Mrs _Haynes_, and variety of other singing. It being for the benefit
  of a gentleman in great distress, and for the relief of his wife and 3
  children.

This lead was soon followed by more important houses, and in a very few
years we have lists regularly published of the amusements at all
theatres. Theatrical managers have in all times been blessed with a
strong faculty of imitation, and though it seems immensely developed
just now, the lessees of a hundred and seventy years ago were just as
keen to follow the scent of anything which had proved fortunate on the
venture of any one possessed of pluck or originality.

We have reserved for the end of this chapter two advertisements of an
individual who, according to his own showing, would have been invaluable
to some of the members of the various school boards of the present, and
have enabled them to keep pace with the pupils under their supervision,
a consummation devoutly to be wished. However, if we cannot have Mr
Switterda, some other _deus ex machinâ_ may yet arise. The first is from
the _Postman_ of July 6-9, and runs thus:--

  ALL Gentlemen and Ladies who are desirous in a very short time to
  learn to speak _Latin_, _French_ or _High Dutch_ fluently, and that
  truly and properly without pedantry, according to Grammar rules, and
  can but spare two hours a week, may faithfully be taught by Mr.
  _Switterda_ or his assistant at his lodgings in _Panton Street_, at
  the Bunch of Grapes, near _Leicester Fields_, where you may have Latin
  and French historical cards. Children may come every day, or as often
  as parents please at his house in _Arundel Street_, next to the
  _Temple Passage_, chiefly those of discretion, who may be his or her
  assistant, entring at the same time. And if any Gent. will take two
  children or half a dozen of equal age, whose capacity are not
  disproportionable, and let any Gent. take his choice, and leave to the
  abovenamed S. the other, and he is content to lose his reward, if he
  or his assistant makes not a greater and more visible improvement of
  the Latin tongue in the first three months time, than any Gent.
  whatsoever. Et quamquam nobili Germano est dedecori linguas profiteri,
  tamen non abscondi talenta mea quæ Deus mihi largitus est, sed ea per
  multos annos publicavi, et omnes tam divites quam paupores ad domum
  meam invitavi, sed surdas semper aures pulsavi, multos mihi invidos
  conciliavi, quos confidentia et sedulitate jam superavi. Omnes artes
  mechanicæ quotidie excoluntur, artes vero liberales sunt veluti statua
  idolatrica quæ addorantur non promoventur. He intends to dispose of
  two copper plates containing the ground of the Latin tongue, and the
  highest bidder shall have them. Every one is to pay according to his
  quality from one guinea to 4 guineas _per_ month, but he will readier
  agree by the great.

It is evident that Mr Switterda was of an accommodating disposition, and
doubtless did well not only out of those who agreed by the great--a
species of scholastic slang we are unable to understand positively,
however much we may surmise--but out of those who were content, or were
perforce compelled to put up, with the small. Here is another
“high-falutin’” notice which appears in the same paper about a month
later, and which shows that the advertiser is also possessed of a power
of puffing his own goods which must have aroused the envy and admiration
of other quacks, in an age when they were not only numerous but
singularly fertile in expedient:--

  WHEREAS in this degenerate age, Youth are kept so many years in
  following only the _Latin_ tongue and many of them are quite
  discouraged Mr. _Switterda_ offers a very easy, short, and delightful
  method, which is full, plain, most expeditious and effectual, without
  pedantry, resolving all into a laudable and most beneficial practice
  by which Gent. and Ladies, who can but spare to be but twice in a week
  with him, may in two years time learn _Latin_, _French_ and _High
  Dutch_, not only to speak them truly and properly, but also to
  understand a classical author. Antisthenes, an eminent Teacher being
  ask’d why he had so few scholars? answer’d _Quoniam non compello, sed
  depello illos virga argentea_. Mr. Switterda who loves _qualitatem non
  quantitatem_ may say the same of a great many, except those who are
  scholars themselves, and love to give their children extraordinary
  learning, who have paid not only what he desired, but one, two, or
  three guineas above their quarteridge, and some more than he asked. He
  is not willing to be troubled with stubborn boys, or those of 8 or 9
  years of age, unless they come along with one of more maturity, that
  shall be able to instruct them at home, and such as may be serviceable
  to the public in Divinity, Law and Physick, or teaching school. There
  is £20 offered for the two copper plates, and he that bids most shall
  have them. He teacheth Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at his house
  in Arundel Street, next door above the Temple Passage, and the other
  three days in Panton Street, at the Bunch of Grapes near Leicester
  Fields, where you may have Latin and French Historical Cards, and a
  pack to learn _Copia Verborum_, which is a great want in many
  gentlemen. Every one is to pay according to his quality, from one
  Guinea to 4 Guineas _per_ month. But poor Gent. and Ladies he will
  consider, chiefly when they agree by the great, or come to board with
  him.

How different from the puffing and pretentious announcements just given
is the one of the same time which follows, as we read which we can hear
the hum of the little country schoolroom, and see the master with his
wig all awry, deep in snuff and study, the mistress keenly alive to the
disposition of her girls, and the pupils of both sexes, as pupils are
often even nowadays, intent upon anything but their lessons or work.
London is forty miles away, and the coach is an object of wonder and
admiration to the villagers, who look upon the pupils who have come from
the great city with awe and reverence, while the master is supposed to
diffuse learning from every pore in his body, and to scatter knowledge
with every wave of his hand. The mistress is also an object of
veneration, but her accomplishments are more within the ken of rustic
folk, and she, good simple dame, who imagines her husband to be the most
learned man in all the King, God bless him’s, dominions, delights to
talk about the clergymen they have educated, and has been the principal
cause of his inditing and publishing this notice:--

  ABOUT forty miles from London is a schoolmaster has had such success
  with boys as there are almost forty ministers and schoolmasters that
  were his scholars. His wife also teaches girls lacemaking, plain work,
  raising paste, sauces, and cookery to a degree of exactness. His price
  is £10 or £11 the year, with a pair of sheets and one spoon, to be
  returned if desired; coaches and other conveniencies pass every day
  within half a mile of the house, and ’tis but an easy journey to or
  from London.

And with these proofs that the schoolmaster was very much abroad at the
time, we will take leave of the seventeenth century.

  [27] A nominal censorship was continued till 1695, but the freedom of
  the press is considered by many to date from the year named above, and
  an inspection of the papers themselves would seem to justify the
  opinion.




CHAPTER VIII.

_EARLY PART OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY._


It is now apparent that advertising has become recognised as a means of
communication not only for the conveniencies of trade, but for
political, lovemaking, fortune-hunting, swindling, and the thousand and
one other purposes which are always ready to assert themselves in a
large community. It is also evident that as years have progressed,
advertising has become more and more necessary to certain trades, the
principals in which a comparatively short time before would have scorned
the idea of ventilating their wares through the columns of the public
press. So it is therefore as well to notice the rates which were charged
by some of the papers. This was before the duty was placed upon
advertisements, when the arrangement was simply between one who wished a
notice inserted in a paper, and another who possessed the power of
making such insertion. It is of course impossible to tell what the rates
were on all papers, but as some had notices of price per advertisement
stated at foot, a fair estimate may be made. The first advertisements
were so few that no notice was called for, and it was not until every
newspaper looked forward to the possession of more or less that the plan
of stating charges became common. About the period of which we are now
writing, long advertisements were unknown; they generally averaged about
eight lines of narrow measure, and were paid for at about a shilling
each, with fluctuations similar in degree to those of the leading
papers of the present day. Various rules obtained upon various papers.
One journal, the “_Jockey’s Intelligencer_, or Weekly Advertisements for
Horses and Second-Hand Coaches to be Bought and Sold,” which appeared
towards the end of the seventeenth century, charged “a shilling for a
horse or coach for notification, and sixpence for renewing.” Still
later, the _County Gentleman’s Courant_ seems to have been the first
paper to charge by the line, and in one of its numbers appears the
following rather non-sequitous statement: “Seeing promotion of trade is
a matter which ought to be encouraged, the price of advertisements is
advanced to twopence per line.” Very likely many agreed with the writer,
who seems to have had a follower several years afterwards--a corn
dealer, who during a great dearth stuck up the following notification:
“On account of the great distress in this town, the price of flour will
be raised one shilling per peck.” But neither of these men meant what he
said, though doubtless he thought he did.

The first advertisement with which we open the century is of a
semi-religious character, and betrays a very inquiring disposition on
the part of the writer. Facts of the kind required are, however, too
stubborn to meet with publication at the request of everybody, and if Mr
Keith and other controversialists had been trammelled by them, there is
every probability that the inquiry we now republish would never have
seen the light:--

  ☞ WHEREAS the World has been told in public papers and otherwise of
  numerous conversions of quakers to the Church of England, by means of
  Mr Keith and others, and whereas the quakers give out in their late
  books and otherwise, that since Mr Keith came out of America, there
  are not ten persons owned by them that have left their Society, Mr
  Keith and others will very much oblige the world in publishing a true
  list of their proselytes.

The foregoing is from the _Postman_ of March 1701, and in July the same
paper contains a very different notice, which will give an idea of the
amusements then in vogue, and rescue from oblivion men whose names,
great as they are in the advertisement, seem to have been passed over
unduly by writers on ancient sports and pastimes, who seem to regard
Figg and Broughton as the fathers of the backsword and the boxing
match:--

  A _Tryal of Skill_ to be performed at His Majesty’s Bear Garden in
  Hockley-in-the-Hole, on Thursday next, being the 9th instant, betwixt
  these following masters;--Edmund Button, master of the noble science
  of defence, _who hath lately cut down_ Mr Hasgit and the Champion of
  the West, _and 4 besides_, and James Harris, an Herefordshire man,
  master of the noble science of defence, who has fought 98 prizes and
  never was worsted, to exercise the usual weapons, at 2 o’clock in the
  afternoon precisely.

Exhibitions of swordsmanship and cudgel-play were very frequent in the
early part of the eighteenth century, but ultimately pugilism, which at
first was merely an auxiliary of the other sports, took the lead, most
probably through the invention of mufflers or gloves, first brought into
notice by Broughton, who was the most skilful boxer of his time. This
was, however, many years subsequent to the date of the foregoing.

The year 1702 is noticeable from the fact that in it was produced the
first daily paper with which we have any acquaintance, and, unless the
doctrine that nothing is new under the sun holds good in this case, the
first daily paper ever published. From it we take the following, which
appears on December 1, and which seems--as no name or address is given,
and as the advertiser does not even know the name of the gentleman, or
anything about him beyond what is told in the advertisement--to have
emanated from one of the stews which were even then pretty numerous in
London:--

  MISSED, on Sunday night, a large hanging coat of Irish frieze,
  supposed to be taken away (thro’ mistake) by a gentleman in a fair
  campaign wig and light-coloured clothes; if he will please to remember
  where he took it, and bring it back again, it will be kindly received.

We should imagine that, unless both coats and gentlemen were more
plentiful, in proportion to the population, in those days than they are
now, the rightful owner, who had probably also been a visitor at the
establishment, went without a garment which, judging by the date, must
have been peculiarly liable to excite cupidity. Nothing noticeable
occurs for a long time, except the growth of raffle advertisements, and
notices of lotteries. These arrangements were called sales, though the
only things sold were most likely the confiding speculators. Everything
possible was during this age put up to be raffled, though, with the
exception of the variety of the items, which included eatables, wearing
apparel, houses, carriages and horses, &c. &c., there is nothing calling
for comment about the style of the notices. In the _Postman_ of July
19-22, 1707, we at last come upon this, which is certainly peculiar from
more than one point of view:--

  MR Benjamin Ferrers, Face-painter, the gentleman that can’t neither
  speak nor hear, is removed from the Crown and Dagger at Charing Cross
  into Chandois Street, next door to the sign of the Three Tuns in
  Covent Garden.

This must have been one of the few cases in which physical disability
becomes a recommendation. Yet the process of whitening sepulchres must
after a time have become monotonous to even a deaf and dumb man. We
suppose the highest compliment that could have been paid to his work
was, that the ladies who were subjected to it looked “perfect pictures.”
Just about this time the use of advertisements for the purposes of
deliberate puffery began to be discovered by the general trader, and in
the _Daily Courant_ of March 24, 1707, occurs a notice couched in the
style of pure hyperbole, and emanating from the establishment of G.
Willdey and T. Brandreth, at the sign of the Archimedes and Globe, on
Ludgate Hill, who advertised a microscope which magnified objects more
than two million times, and a concave metal that united the sunbeams so
vigorously that in a minute’s time it melted steel and vitrified the
hardest substance. “Also,” the notice went on to say, “we do protest we
pretend to no impossibilities, and that we scorn to impose on any
gentleman or others, but what we make and sell shall be really good, and
answer the end we propose in our advertisements.” Spectacles by which
objects might be discovered at twenty or thirty miles’ distance,
“modestly speaking,” are also mentioned; “and,” the ingenious opticians
finish off with, “we are now writing a small treatise with the aid of
the learned that gives the reasons why they do so, which will be given
gratis to our customers.” This is an effort which would not have
disgraced the more mature puffers of following ages. But it aroused the
anger and indignation of the former employers of Willdey and Brandreth,
who having duly considered the matter, on April 16 put forth, also in
the _Daily Courant_, an opposition statement, which ultimately led to a
regular newspaper warfare:--

  BY John Yarwell and Ralph Sterrop, Right Spectacles, reading and other
  optic glasses, etc., were first brought to perfection by our own
  proper art, and needed not the boasted industry of our two apprentices
  to recommend them to the world; who by fraudently appropriating to
  themselves what they never did, and obstinately pretending to what
  they never can perform, can have no other end in view than to astonish
  the ignorant, impose on the credulous, and amuse the public. For which
  reason and at the request of several gentlemen already imposed on, as
  also to prevent such further abuses as may arise from the repeated
  advertisements of these two wonderful performers, we John Yarwell and
  Ralph Sterrop do give public notice, that to any person who shall
  think it worth his while to make the experiment, we will demonstrate
  in a minute’s time the insufficiency of the instrument and the vanity
  of the workmen by comparing their miraculous Two-Foot, with our Three
  and Four Foot Telescopes. And therefore, till such a telescope be
  made, as shall come up to the character of these unparalleled
  performers, we must declare it to be a very impossible thing.

Then the old-established and indignant masters proceed to recommend
their own spectacles, perspectives, &c., in more moderate terms than
were employed by their late apprentices, but still in an extremely
confident manner. This appeared for several days, and at last, on April
25, elicited the following reply:--

  WHEREAS Mr Yarwell, Mr Sterrop, and Mr Marshall, the 2 first were our
  Masters with whom we served our Apprenticeships, and since for several
  years we have made the best of work for them and Mr Marshall. And now
  they being envious at our prosperity have published several false,
  deceitful and malicious advertisements, wherein they assert that we
  cheat all that buy any of our goods, and that we pretend to many
  impossibilities, and impose on the public, they having wrested the
  words and sense of our advertisements, pretend that we affirm that a 2
  Foot Telescope of our making will do as much as the best 4 Foot of
  another man’s make, and they fraudulently show in their shops one of
  their best 4 Foots against our small one, and then cry out against the
  insufficiency of our instrument. Now we G. Willdey and Th. Brandreth
  being notoriously abused, declare that we never did assert any such
  thing, or ever did pretend to impossibilities, but will make good in
  every particular all those [note, these are their own words]
  (impossible, incredible, miraculous, wonderful, and astonishing)
  things mentioned in our advertisements; which things perhaps may be
  impossible, incredible, miraculous, wonderful, and astonishing to
  them, but we assure them they are not so to us: For we have small
  miraculous telescopes, as they are pleased to call them, that do such
  wonders that they say it is impossible to make such, by the assistance
  of which we will lay any person £10, that instead of 2 miles
  mentioned, we will tell them the hour of the day 3 if not 4 miles by
  such a dial as St James’s or Bow.

After this the recalcitrant apprentices repeat all their former boasts,
and conclude: “All these things are as they say impossible to them, but
are and will be made by G. Willdey and T. Brandreth.... Let ingenuity
thrive.” Willdey and Brandreth now, no doubt, thought that they had
turned the tables upon their former masters, and had all the best of the
battle; but the duel was not yet over, as the second time this
advertisement appeared (_Daily Courant_, April 26), the following was
immediately under it:--

  A CONFIDENT Mountebank by the help of his bragging speech passes upon
  the ignorant as a profound doctor, the commonest medicines and the
  easiest operations in such an one’s hand, shall be cried up as
  miracles. But there are mountebanks in other arts as well as in
  physick: Glasgrinding it seems is not free from ’em, as it is seen in
  the vain boastings of Willdey and Brandreth. ’Tis well known to all
  gentlemen that have had occasion to use optic glasses that J. Yarwell
  was the true improver of that art, and has deservedly a name for it,
  in all parts abroad as well as at home. He and R. Sterrop, who lives
  in the old shop in Ludgate Street, have always and do now make as true
  and good works of all kinds in that art as any man can do. And we are
  so far from discouraging any improvement, that we gladly receive from
  any hand, and will be at any expence to put in practice an invention
  really advantageous in the art. But Willdey’s performances are so far
  from improvements that we are ready to oppose any of our work to his
  and stake any wager upon the judgment of a skilful man. And because he
  talks so particularly of his two foot telescope, to let the world see
  that there is nothing in that vaunt, we will stake 10 Guineas upon a
  two-foot telescope of ours against the same of his. And further to
  take away all pretensions of our preparing one on purpose, if any
  gentleman that has a two-foot telescope bought of us within a year
  past, and not injured in the use, will produce it, we will lay 5
  Guineas upon its performance against one of theirs of the same date.
  This is bringing the matter upon the square, and will, we hope,
  satisfy the world that we are not worse workmen than those we taught.

Again the young men ventured into print (May 1, 1707), to reply, and to
defend what they were pleased to call the naked truth, “against the
apparent malicious lies and abuse” of their former employers, in whose
last advertisement they pointed out some inconsistencies, claimed the
invention of the perfected spectacles as theirs, and ended in offering
to bet “20 guineas to their 10, that neither they nor Mr Marshall can
make a better telescope than we can.” This, though rather a descent from
the high horse previously occupied by them, was sufficient to rouse the
anger of an interested yet hitherto passive spectator, and Mr Marshall
presently (May 8) indignantly growled forth:--

  THE best method now used for Grinding Spectacles and other glasses,
  was by me at great charge and pains found out, which I shewed to the
  Royal Society in the year 1693, and by them approved; being gentlemen
  the best skilled in optics, for which they gave me their certificate
  to let the world know what I had done. Since which I have made
  spectacles, telescopes, and microscopes, for all the Kings and
  Prince’s Courts in Europe. And as for the 2 new spectacle makers, that
  would insinuate to the world that they were my best workmen for
  several years: the one I never employed, the other I found as I doubt
  not but many gentlemen have and will find them both, to be only
  boasters and not performers of what they advertise, &c. &c.

After pursuing this strain till he had run down, Mr Marshall concludes
by saying, “What I have inserted is nothing but truth.” At the same time
Yarwell and Sterrop overwhelmed the raisers of this hornets’ nest with a
new attention, in which among other things was the following:--

  Mr Willdey and Brandreth have the folly to believe that abundance of
  words is sufficient to gain applause, and therefore throw ’em out
  without regard to truth and reason, but as that is an affront to the
  understanding of gentlemen that use the goods they sell, they being
  persons of discerning judgment, there needs no other answer to what
  they have published than to compare one part with another. They set
  forth with a lying vaunt that their two-foot telescope would perform
  the same that a common four-foot one would do, and when ’twas replied
  that was false, and a four-foot one offered to try, they poorly shift
  off with crying “That’s one of your best four-foot ones.” Now we
  profess to make none but best, the glasses of every one being true
  ground and rightly adjusted, and the difference in price arrises only
  from the goodness, ornaments, and convenience of the case, neither can
  he produce a four-foot one of anybody’s make, that does not far exceed
  his two-foot, nor does his two-foot one at all exceed ours, which they
  don’t now pretend. And therefore the lie is all on his side, and the
  impossibility in his pretensions is as strong as ever, and what we
  have said is just truth, and his foul language no better than
  Billingsgate railing. But it seems because we do not treat him in his
  own way and decry his goods as much as he does other men’s, he has the
  folly to construct it as an acknowledgement that his excel. But we are
  so far from allowing that, that we do aver they have nothing to brag
  of but what they learnt of us, and Brandreth was so indifferent a
  workman that Marshall, who had taken him for a journeyman, was fain to
  turn him off. The secrets they brag of is all a falsehood, and the
  microscope the same that any one may have from Culpeper who is the
  maker. We have already told the world that we will venture any wager
  upon the performance of our two foot telescope against theirs, and we
  would be glad to have it taken up that we might have the opportunity
  of showing that ours exceeds, and letting the world see that his brags
  are only such as mountebanks make in medicine.

Finally, in the _Daily Courant_ for May 12, 1707, Willdey and Brandreth
once again insert their vaunt, and then proceed to demolish their late
employers thus:--

  We do affirm it [the telescope made by W. & B.] to be the pleasantest
  and usefullest instrument of this kind, and what our adversaries have
  said against it is false and proceeds from an ill design; we have
  already offered to lay them 20 guineas to their 10 that they could not
  make a better, but they knowing they were not capable to engage us in
  that particular, said in their answer that there needs no more than to
  compare one instrument with another that they may have the opportunity
  of shewing that theirs exceeds; to which proposal we do agree, and to
  that purpose have bought 3 of their best telescopes that we might be
  sure of one that was good, though they say in their advertisements
  that they make none but the best, and we are ready to give our oaths
  that no damage has been done them since they were bought. And now to
  bring these matters to an end, we will lay them 20 guineas to their
  10, that 3 of our best of the same sizes are better than them; and any
  gentleman that will may see the experiment tried in an instant at our
  shop, where they may also see that our best pocket telescope comes not
  far short of their best large 4 Foot one. And several other
  curiosities all made to the greatest perfection. And whereas Mr
  Yarwell, Mr Sterrop, and Mr Marshall have maliciously, falsly, and
  unjustly insinuated that we are but indifferent workmen, several
  persons being justly moved by that scandalous aspersion, have offered
  to give their oaths that they have often heard them say that we were
  the best of workmen, and that we understood our business as well as
  themselves. And as such we do each of us challenge them all 3
  severally to work with them, who does most and best for £20. As for
  the Microscope it is our own invention, and 2 of them were made by us
  before any person saw them, as we can prove by witnesses; as we also
  can their railing and scandalous aspersions to be false. All persons
  may be assured that all our instruments do and will answer the
  character given them in the advertisements of T. Brandreth and G.
  Willdey, &c. &c.

Whether the game was too expensive, or whether the old firm was shut up
by this, we know not, but anyhow they retired from the contest, and it
is to be hoped found that rivalry fosters rather than injures business.
We have given particular attention to this conflict of statements, as it
shows how soon advertisements, after they had become general, were used
for aggressional and objectionable trade purposes. Passing on for a
little space, until 1709, the _Tatler_ appears on the scene, and
commences with a full share of advertisements, and very soon one is
found worthy of quotation. This appears on March 21, and is a form of
application which soon found favour with the gallants and ladies of
pleasure of the day:--

  A GENTLEMAN who, the twentieth instant, had the honour to conduct a
  lady out of a boat at Whitehall Stairs, desires to know when he may
  wait on her to disclose a matter of concern. A letter directed to Mr
  Samuel Reeves, to be left with Mr May, at the Golden Head, the upper
  end of New Southampton Street, Covent Garden.

There are about this time many instances appearing in the notice columns
of what has been called love at first sight, though from the fact that
advertisements had to bring their influence to bear on the passion, it
looks as though the impression took some time to fix itself. Otherwise
the declaration might have been made at once, unless, indeed, timidity
prevented it. Perhaps, too, the occasional presence of a gentleman
companion might have deterred these inflammable youths from prosecuting
their suits and persecuting the objects of their temporary adoration.
Just after the foregoing we come upon a slave advertisement couched in
the following terms:--

  A BLACK boy, twelve years of age, fit to wait on a gentleman, to be
  disposed of at Denis’s Coffee house in Finch Lane, near the Royal
  Exchange.

There is no mincing the matter about this, and as, at the same time, a
very extensive traffic was carried on in “white flesh” for the
plantations, the advertiser would doubtless have regarded sympathy with
his property as not only idiotic but offensive. And then we light on
what must be regarded as an advertisement, though it emanates from the
editorial sanctum, and is redolent of that humour which, first
identified with the _Tatler_, has never yet been surpassed, and, as many
still say, never equalled:--

  ANY ladies who have any particular stories of their acquaintance which
  they are willing privately to make public, may send ’em by the penny
  post to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., enclosed to Mr John Morpheu, near
  Stationers’ Hall.

What a chance for the lovers of scandal, and doubtless they readily
availed themselves of it. Many a hearty laugh must Steele have had over
the communications received, and many of them must have afforded him the
groundwork for satires, which at the time must have struck home indeed.
In the following year “Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire,” seems to have taken
it into his head that John Partridge, the astrologer, ought to be dead,
if he really was not, and so inserted a series of advertisements to the
effect that that worthy had really departed this life, which, however
amusing to the _Tatler_ folk and the public, seem to have nearly driven
the stargazer wild.[28] One of the best of this series, which appears on
August 10, 1710, runs thus:--

  WHEREAS an ignorant Upstart in Astrology has publicly endeavoured to
  persuade the world that he is the late John Partridge, who died the 28
  of March 1718, these are to certify all whom it may concern, that the
  true John Partridge was not only dead at that time but continues so to
  the present day. Beware of counterfeits, for such are abroad.

The quiet yet pungent drollery of this is almost irresistible, but it
has the effect of making us rather chary of accepting any of the
remaining advertisements which look at all like emanations from the
quaint fancy of the editor. Take the following, for instance, which is
found among a number of others of an ordinary character, undistinguished
from them by any peculiarity of type or position. It seems, however, to
betray its origin:--

  _The Charitable Advice Office_, where all persons may have the opinion
  of dignified Clergymen, learned Council, Graduate Physicians, and
  experienced Surgeons, to any question in Divinity, Morality, Law,
  Physic, or Surgery, with proper Prescriptions within twelve hours
  after they have delivered in a state of their case. Those who can’t
  write may have their cases stated at the office. * * The fees are only
  1_s._ at delivery or sending your case, and 1_s._ more on
  re-delivering that and the opinion upon it, being what is thought
  sufficient to defray the necessary expense of servants and
  office-rent.

The theory of advertising must about this time have been found
considerably interesting to men who were unlikely to participate in its
benefits unless it were through the increased prosperity of the
newspapers to which they contributed, for essays and letters on the
subject, some humorous and others serious, appear quite frequently. Most
noticeable among the former is an article from the pen of Addison, which
appears in No. 224 of the _Tatler_, date September 14, 1710. It will
speak better for itself than we can speak for it:--

  “_Materiem superabat opus._--OVID. MET. ii. 5.

  “The matter equall’d not the artist’s skill.--R. WYNNE.

“It is my custom, in a dearth of news, to entertain myself with those
collections of advertisements that appear at the end of our public
prints. These I consider as accounts of news from the little world, in
the same manner that the foregoing parts of the paper are from the
great. If in one we hear that a sovereign prince is fled from his
capital city, in the other we hear of a tradesman who has shut up his
shop and run away. If in one we find the victory of a general, in the
other we see the desertion of a private soldier. I must confess I have a
certain weakness in my temper that is often very much affected by these
little domestic occurrences, and have frequently been caught with tears
in my eyes over a melancholy advertisement.

“But to consider this subject in its most ridiculous lights,
advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. First of all as they are
instruments of ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the
Gazette, may easily creep into the advertisements; by which means we
often see an apothecary in the same paper of news with a
plenipotentiary, or a running footman with an ambassador. An
advertisement from Piccadilly goes down to posterity with an article
from Madrid, and John Bartlett[29] of Goodman’s Fields is celebrated in
the same paper with the Emperor of Germany. Thus the fable tells us,
that the wren mounted as high as the eagle, by getting upon his back.

“A second use which this sort of writings have been turned to of late
years has been the management of controversy, insomuch that above half
the advertisements one meets with nowadays are purely polemical. The
inventors of ‘Strops for Razors’ have written against one another this
way for several years, and that with great bitterness;[30] as the whole
argument _pro_ and _con_ in the case of the ‘Morning Gown’ is still
carried on after the same manner. I need not mention the several
proprietors of Dr Anderson’s pills; nor take notice of the many
satirical works of this nature so frequently published by Dr Clark, who
has had the confidence to advertise upon that learned knight, my very
worthy friend, Sir William Read:[31] but I shall not interpose in their
quarrel: Sir William can give him his own in advertisements, that, in
the judgment of the impartial, are as well penned as the Doctor’s.

“The third and last use of these writings is to inform the world where
they may be furnished with almost every thing that is necessary for
life. If a man has pains in his head, colics in his bowels, or spots in
his clothes, he may here meet with proper cures and remedies. If a man
would recover a wife or a horse that is stolen or strayed; if he wants
new sermons, electuaries, asses’ milk, or anything else, either for his
body or mind, this is the place to look for them in.

“The great art in writing advertisements, is the finding out a proper
method to catch the reader’s eye, without which a good thing may pass
unobserved, or be lost among commissions of bankrupt. Asterisks and
hands were formerly of great use for this purpose. Of late years the
N.B. has been much in fashion, as also little cuts and figures, the
invention of which we must ascribe to the author of spring-trusses. I
must not here omit the blind Italian character, which being scarce
legible, always fixes and detains the eye, and gives the curious reader
something like the satisfaction of prying into a secret.

“But the great skill in an advertiser is chiefly seen in the style which
he makes use of. He is to mention the ‘universal esteem,’ or ‘general
reputation’ of things that were never heard of. If he is a physician or
astrologer, he must change his lodgings frequently; and though he never
saw anybody in them besides his own family, give public notice of it,
‘for the information of the nobility and gentry.’ Since I am thus
usefully employed in writing criticisms on the works of these diminutive
authors, I must not pass over in silence an advertisement, which has
lately made its appearance and is written altogether in a Ciceronian
manner. It was sent to me with five shillings, to be inserted among my
advertisements; but as it is a pattern of good writing in this way, I
shall give it a place in the body of my paper.

  “The highest compounded Spirit of Lavender, the most glorious, if the
  expression may be used, enlivening scent and flavour that can possibly
  be, which so raptures the spirits, delights the gusts, and gives such
  airs to the countenance, as are not to be imagined but by those that
  have tried it. The meanest sort of the thing is admired by most
  gentlemen and ladies; but this far more, as by far it exceeds it, to
  the gaining among all a more than common esteem. It is sold in neat
  flint bottles, fit for the pocket, only at the Golden Key in Wharton’s
  Court, near Holborn Bars, for three shillings and sixpence, with
  directions.

“At the same time that I recommend the several flowers in which this
spirit of lavender is wrapped up, if the expression may be used, I
cannot excuse my fellow-labourers for admitting into their papers
several uncleanly advertisements, not at all proper to appear in the
works of polite writers. Among them I must reckon the ‘Carminative
Wind-Expelling Pills.’ If the Doctor had called them ‘Carminative
Pills,’ he had been as cleanly as any one could have wished; but the
second word entirely destroys the decency of the first. There are other
absurdities of this nature so very gross, that I dare not mention them;
and shall therefore dismiss this subject with an admonition to Michael
Parrot, that he do not presume any more to mention a certain worm he
knows of, which, by the way, has grown seven foot in my memory; for, if
I am not much mistaken, it is the same that was but nine feet long about
six months ago.

“By the remarks I have here made, it plainly appears, that a collection
of advertisements is a kind of miscellany; the writers of which,
contrary to all authors, except men of quality, give money to the
booksellers who publish their copies. The genius of the bookseller is
chiefly shown in his method of ranging and digesting these little
tracts. The last paper I took up in my hands places them in the
following order:--

“The true Spanish blacking for shoes, etc.

“The beautifying cream for the face, etc.

“Pease and Plasters, etc.

“Nectar and Ambrosia, etc.

“Four freehold tenements of fifteen pounds per annum, etc.

“The present state of England, etc.

“Annotations upon the _Tatler_, etc.

“A commission of Bankrupt being awarded against R. L., bookseller, etc.”

This essay probably aroused a good deal of attention, and among the
letters of correspondents is one from a “Self-interested Solicitor,”
which appears in No. 228, and runs thus:--

“_Mr Bickerstaff._

“I am going to set up for a scrivener, and have thought of a project
which may turn both to your account and mine. It came into my head upon
reading that learned and useful paper of yours concerning
advertisements. You must understand I have made myself Master in the
whole art of advertising, both as to the style and the letter. Now if
you and I could so manage it, that nobody should write advertisements
besides myself, or print them anywhere but in your paper, we might both
of us get estates in a little time. For this end I would likewise
propose that you should enlarge the design of advertisements, and have
sent you two or three samples of my work in this kind, which I have made
for particular friends, and intend to open shop with. The first is for a
gentleman who would willingly marry, if he could find a wife to his
liking; the second is for a poor Whig, who is lately turned out of his
post; and the third for a person of a contrary party, who is willing to
get into one.

“Whereas A. B. next door to the Pestle and Mortar, being about thirty
years old, of a spare make, with dark-coloured hair, bright eye, and a
long nose, has occasion for a good-humoured, tall, fair, young woman, of
about £3000 fortune; these are to give notice That if any such young
woman has a mind to dispose of herself in marriage to such a person as
the above mentioned, she may be provided with a husband, a coach and
horses and a proportionable settlement.

“C. D. designing to quit his place, has great quantities of paper,
parchment, ink, wax, and wafers to dispose of, which will be sold at
very reasonable rates.

“E. F. a person of good behaviour, six foot high, of a black complexion
and sound principles, wants an employ. He is an excellent penman and
accomptant, and speaks French.”

And so on, advertisements being then considered proper sport for wits of
all sizes and every peculiarity. In 1711 we come upon the first edition
of the _Spectator_, which certainly did not disdain to become a medium
for most barefaced quacks, if we may judge by this:--

  AN admirable confect which assuredly cures Stuttering and Stammering
  in children or grown persons, though never so bad, causing them to
  speak distinct and free without any trouble or difficulty; it remedies
  all manner of impediments in the speech or disorders of the voice of
  any kind, proceeding from what cause soever, rendering those persons
  capable of speaking easily and free, and with a clear voice who before
  were not able to utter a sentence without hesitation. Its stupendous
  effects in so quickly and infallibly curing Stammering and all
  disorders of the voice and difficulty in delivery of the speech are
  really wonderful. Price 2s. 6d. a pot, with directions. Sold only at
  Mr Osborn’s Toyshop, at the Rose and Crown, under St Dunstan’s church
  Fleet street.

This is a truly marvellous plan for greasing the tongue. The only wonder
is that the advertiser did not recommend it as invaluable to public
speakers for increasing the fluency to such an extent that the orator
had but to open his mouth and let his tongue do as it willed. And
certainly the most rebellious and self-willed tongue could hardly give
utterance to more remarkable statements, if left entirely to itself,
than appears in the following, which is also from the original edition
of the _Spectator_:--

  LOSS of Memory, or Forgetfulness, certainly cured by a grateful
  electuary peculiarly adapted for that end; it strikes at the primary
  source, which few apprehend, of forgetfulness, makes the head clear
  and easy, the spirits free, active, and undisturbed, corroborates and
  revives all the noble faculties of the soul, such as thought,
  judgment, apprehension, reason and memory, which last in particular it
  so strengthens as to render that faculty exceeding quick and good
  beyond imagination; thereby enabling those whose memory was before
  almost totally lost, to remember the minutest circumstances of their
  affairs, etc. to a wonder. Price 2s. 6d. a pot. Sold only at Mr
  Payne’s, at the Angel and Crown, in St Paul’s Churchyard, with
  directions.

It is sometimes possible to remember too much; and if the specific sold
by Mr Payne had but a homœopathic tendency, and caused those who
recollected things which never happened to become cured of their
propensities, it is a pity its recipe has to be numbered among the lost
things of this world. In the beginning of 1712, one Ephraim How seems to
have been possessed of a fear that evil folks had been trying to injure
him or his business, or else he felt it incumbent on himself to take the
hint thrown out in the _Tatler_ essay. Accordingly he published in the
_Daily Courant_ the following:--

  WHEREAS several persons who sell knives, for the better vending their
  bad wares spread reports that Ephraim How, Cutler of London is
  deceased. This is to certify That he is living, and keeps his business
  as formerly, with his son in partnership, at the Heart and Crown on
  Saffron Hill; there being divers imitations, you are desired to
  observe the mark, which is the Heart Crown and Dagger, with How under
  it.

About this period shopkeepers were or pretended to be particularly
loyal, for a very large percentage of their signs contained the emblem
of royalty, coupled with various other figures. Though the Methuen
treaty, which favoured the importation of Portuguese wines, and
discouraged the use of claret, was signed in 1703, it does not appear to
have made much difference in this country for some years, as the first
mention we find of the new wine is in a _Postboy_ of January 1712, and
is caused by the rivalry which sprang up among those who first began to
sell it:--

  NOTICE is hereby given, That Messieurs Trubey, at the Queen’s Arms
  Tavern, the West End of St Paul’s Church, have bought of Sir John
  Houblon, 76 pipes of _New_ natural Oporto Wines, red and white,
  perfect neat, and shall remain genuine, chosen out of 96 pipes, and
  did not buy the cast-outs. Also they have bought of other merchants
  large quantities of _new_ natural Oporto wines, with great choice (by
  the last fleet). And altho’ the aforesaid did buy of Messieurs Brook
  and Hellier, _new_ natural Oporto wines of the earliest importation,
  which they have yet by them; and ’tis not only their own opinion, that
  the said Sir John Houblon’s and other merchant’s Oporto wines, which
  they have bought are superior, and do give us more general
  satisfaction: for the same is daily confirm’d by gentlemen and others
  of undoubted judgment and credit. Further this assertion deserves
  regard, viz. That the said Messieurs Brook and Helliers have bought of
  several merchants entire parcels of Oporto and Viana wines, red and
  white, good and bad, thereby continuing retailing, under the specious
  and fallacious pretences of natural red and neat of their own
  importing.

  _N.B._--The intentions of the above-named Vintners are not any way to
  reproach or diminish the reputation of their brethren, nor insinuate
  to their detriment, sympathizing with them. Note the aforesaid _new_
  natural Oporto wines, are to be sold by the aforesaid vintners at £16
  per hogshead, at 18d. per quart, without doors, and at 20d. per quart,
  within their own houses.

Brook & Hellier, whose wine is spoken of so slightingly, kept the Bumper
Tavern in Covent Garden, which had formerly belonged to Dick Estcourt.
They seem quite able to bear what has been said of them, for they have
the _Spectator_, who has evidently tasted, and quite as evidently liked
their wines, at their back, one of the numbers of this disinterested
periodical being devoted almost entirely to their praise. The
_Spectator_ was by no means averse to a bit of good genuine puffery, and
Peter Motteux, formerly an author who had dedicated a poem or two to
Steele, and who at that time kept one of the Indian warehouses so much
in fashion, received kindnesses in its columns more than once. So did
Renatus Harris the organ-builder, who competed with Smith for the Temple
organ, and many others. So it is not extraordinary that their
advertisement is found in the _Spectator_ very shortly after that just
quoted. They seem, however, to have been disinclined to quarrel, as
their notice makes no mention of their rivals:--

  BROOK and Hellier, &c. having discovered that several gentlemen’s
  servants who have been sent to their taverns and cellars for neat
  Oporto wines (which is 18d. per quart) have instead thereof bought the
  small Viana, which is but 15d. a quart; and that some who have been
  sent directly to the above taverns and cellars have never come there,
  but carried home (like traitors) something else from other places for
  Brook and Helliers. Gentlemen are therefore desired, when they suspect
  themselves imposed on, to send the wine immediately to the place they
  ordered it from, or a note of what it was they sent for, in order to
  know the truth, and Brook and Helliers will bear the extraordinary
  charge of porters on this occasion.

From this and kindred advertisements it looks as though gentlemen were
not at the time in the habit of keeping large quantities of wine in the
house, but rather of having it in fresh and fresh as required from the
tavern, or of going round themselves, and taking it home under their
belts. Also the servants of the time do not appear to be possessed of
much more honesty than falls to the lot of the domestics of even these
degenerate days. The effect of the rage for port as soon as it was once
tried, is shown by the following, which also appeared in the January of
1712, in the _Daily Courant_:--

  THE first loss is the best especially in the Wine Trade, and upon that
  consideration Mr John Crooke will now sell his French Claret for 4s. a
  gallon, to make an end of a troublesome and losing trade. Dated the
  7th of January from his vault in Broad street, 5 doors below the Angel
  and Crown Tavern, behind the Royal Exchange.

  JOHN CROOKE.

But this appeal to the lovers of bargains, as well as of claret, was
evidently a failure; for three or four days afterwards, and also in the
same paper, another, and quite different attempt, is made to draw the
unwilling drinkers to the Angel and Crown:--

  IT having been represented to Mr John Crooke that notwithstanding the
  general approbation his French claret has received, yet many of his
  customers out of a covetous disposition do resort to other places to
  buy much inferior wine, and afterwards sell the same for Mr Crooke’s
  claret, which practices (if not timely prevented) do manifestly tend
  to the ruin of his undertaking, and he being firmly resolved to
  establish and preserve the reputation of his vault, and also willing
  to give his customers all fitting encouragement; for these causes and
  others hereunto him moving, he gives notice that from henceforth he
  will sell his very good French claret for no more than 4s. a gallon at
  his vault.

The fight between port and claret was very fierce this year, but the new
drink had almost from the first the best of the battle, if we may judge
from the strenuous appeals put forth by those who have much claret to
sell, and who evidently find it very like a drug upon their hands. One
individual seems at last to arrive at the conclusion that he may as well
ask a high price as a low one for his claret, seeing that people are
unwilling to buy in either case. The advertisement occurs in the _Daily
Courant_ for December 29, 1712. The wily concocter of the plan also
thinks that by making three bottles the smallest limit of his sale, the
unwary may fancy a favour is being conferred upon them, and buy
accordingly:--

  THE noblest new French claret that ever was imported, bright, deep,
  strong and of most delicious flavour, being of the very best growth in
  France, and never in any cooper or vintner’s hands, but purely neat
  from the grape, bottled off from the lee. All the quality and gentry
  that taste it, allow it to be the finest flower that ever was drunk.
  Price 42s. the dozen, bottles and all, which is but 3s. 6d. a bottle,
  for excellence not to be matched for double that price. None less than
  3 bottles. To be had only at the Golden Key, in Haydon Yard, in the
  Minories, where none but the very best and perfectly neat wine shall
  ever be sold.

There is good reason to believe that the claret which had been so
popular up till this period, was a very different wine from that which
is now known by the same name. It was, most probably, a strong
well-sweetened drink; for, as it has ever been necessary to make port
thick and sweet for the public taste, it is most likely this was at
first done for the purpose of rivalling the claret, and folk would
hardly have turned suddenly from one wine to another of a decidedly
opposite character. The amount of advertising, probably fostered by the
wine rivalry, grew so much this year, that the Ministry were struck with
the happy idea of putting a tax upon every notice, and accordingly there
is a sudden fall off in the number of advertisements in and after
August, the month in which the change took place. In fact, the _Daily
Courant_ appears several times with only one advertisement, that of
Drury Lane Theatre, the average number being hitherto about nine or ten.
However, the imposers of the tax were quite right in their estimate of
the value of advertisements; as, though checked for a time, they
ultimately grew again, though their progress was comparatively slow
compared with previous days. We find a characteristic announcement just
at the close of the year, one not to be checked by the duty-charge, and
so we append it:--

  THIS is to give notice That there is a young woman born within 30
  miles of London will run for £50 or £100, a mile and an half, with any
  other woman that has liv’d a year within the same distance; upon any
  good ground, as the parties concern’d shall agree to.

Unnatural and unfeminine exhibitions, in accordance with this
advertisement, of pugilism, foot-racing, cudgel-playing, &c., were at
this time not unfrequent, and the spectacle of two women stripped to the
waist, and doing their best to injure or wear down each other, was often
enjoyed by the bloods of the early eighteenth century. At the same time
that the tax was placed on advertisements, the stamp-duty on newspapers
became an accomplished fact, and Swift in his journal to Stella of July
9, 1712, says, “Grub Street has but ten days to live, then an Act of
Parliament takes place that ruins it by taxing every half-sheet a
halfpenny.” And just about a month after, he chronicles the effect of
this cruelty: “Do you know that Grub Street is dead and gone last week?
No more ghosts or murders now for love or money. I plied it close the
last fortnight and published at least seven papers of my own, besides
some of other people’s; but now every single half-sheet pays a halfpenny
to the Queen. The _Observator_ is fallen; the _Medleys_ have jumbled
together with the _Flying Post_; the _Examiner_ is deadly sick; the
_Spectator_ keeps up and doubles its price. I know not how long it will
hold. Have you seen the red stamp the papers are marked with? Methinks
the stamping is worth a halfpenny.” Thieves about this time seem to have
had delicate susceptibilities, for it was the custom to advertise goods
which were undoubtedly stolen as lost. Thus we see constantly in the
reign of Queen Anne such notices as this: “Lost out of a room in Russell
Street a number of valuable objects.... Whoever brings them _back_ shall
have ten guineas reward, or in proportion for any part, and no questions
asked.” This style of advertising grew so that just about the middle of
the century it was found necessary to put a stop to it by Act of
Parliament, which took effect on the 21st of June 1752, the penalty
being £50 for any one who advertised “no questions asked,” and £50 for
the publisher who inserted any such notice in his paper. Haydn gives
this date as 1754, but a reference to the _General Advertiser_ of
February 21, 1752, in which the notice of the date on which the law is
to come into effect appears, shows that it was two years earlier. Also a
reference to any Parliamentary record of forty years before that will
show that not in 1713, as Haydn has it, but on the 22nd April 1712, Mr
Conyers reported from Committee of the whole House, who were considering
further ways and means for raising the supply granted to her Majesty;
when among other measures it was resolved that a duty of 12d. be charged
for every advertisement in any printed paper, besides the stamp-duty
which was at the same time imposed on the newspapers. This and other
extra taxes were levied, because France having refused to acknowledge
the title of Queen Anne till the peace should be signed, it was resolved
to continue the war “till a safe and honourable peace could be
obtained.” For this purpose money was of course required; and if they
never did good any other way, or at any other time, quacks and
impostors, libertines and drunkards, did it now, as they mainly
contributed all that was gathered for some years by means of the
advertisement tax. There seems to have been a good deal of drunkenness
going on in the time of Queen Anne, and the tavern keepers contributed
in many ways to swell the revenue. But even their advertisements drop
off after the imposition of the tax, as do those of promoters of
nostrums and lotteries, and the managers of theatres. These public
benefactors are, however, not so blind to their own interests, but that
they soon return.

Notwithstanding the many important events of the next few years, nothing
worthy of chronicling in the way of advertisements is to be found till
1720, when we come upon the following, which is peculiar as being one of
the earliest specimens of the ventilation of private quarrels by means
of advertisements. It occurs in the _Daily Post_ of January 16th:--

  WHEREAS an advertisement was lately put in Heathcote’s Halfpenny Post,
  by way of challenge for me to meet a person (whose name to me is
  unknown) at Old Man’s Coffeehouse near Charing Cross, the 28 instant
  in order to hear that said person make out his assertions in that
  Dialogue we had in Palace Yard, the 11th of November 1718, This will
  let that person know that as he would not then tell me his name, nor
  put it to his advertisement, I conclude he is ashamed to have it in
  print. When he sends me his name in writing, that I may know who to
  ask for, I shall be willing to meet him at any convenient time and
  place, either by ourselves or with two friends on each side, till then
  I shall have neither list nor leisure to obey his nameless summons.

  ROBERT CURTIS.

  Southwark, Jan. 13th, 1719-20.

Certainly time enough seems to have elapsed between the dialogue and the
publication of this advertisement to allow of all angry passions to have
subsided; but Robert Curtis, whose name is thus preserved till now,
would seem to have been a careful youth, picking his way clear of
pitfalls, and with shrewdness sufficient to discover that anonymity but
too often disguises foul intent. In that particular matters have not
considerably improved even up to the present time.

The year 1720 is memorable in the history of England, as seeing the
abnormal growth and consequent explosion of the greatest swindle of
comparatively modern times, and one of the most colossal frauds of any
time, the South Sea Scheme, which has been best known since as the South
Sea Bubble. Its story has been told so often, and in so many ways, that
it is hardly necessary to dwell upon it here; but as, though nearly
every one has heard of the scheme, there are but few who know anything
about it, we may as well give once again a short _résumé_ of its
business operations. It was started by Harley in 1711, with the view of
paying off the floating national debt, which at that time amounted to
about £10,000,000. A contemporary writer says: “This debt was taken up
by a number of eminent merchants, to whom the Government agreed to
guarantee for a certain period the annual payment of £600,000 (being six
per cent. interest), a sum which was to be obtained by rendering
permanent a number of import duties. The monopoly of the trade to the
South Seas was also secured to these merchants, who were accordingly
incorporated as the ‘South Sea Company,’ and at once rose to a high
position in the mercantile world. The wondrously extravagant ideas then
current respecting the riches of the South American continent were
carefully fostered and encouraged by the Company, who also took care to
spread the belief that Spain was prepared, on certain liberal
conditions, to admit them to a considerable share of its South American
trade; and as a necessary consequence, a general avidity to partake in
the profits of this most lucrative speculation sprang up in the public
mind. It may be well to remark in this place, that the Company’s trading
projects had no other result than a single voyage of one ship in 1717,
and that its prominence in British history is due entirely to its
existence as a purely monetary corporation. Notwithstanding the absence
of any symptoms of its carrying out its great trading scheme, the
Company had obtained a firm hold on popular favour, and its shares rose
day by day; and even when the outbreak of war with Spain in 1718
deprived the most sanguine of the slightest hope of sharing in the
treasures of the South Seas, the Company continued to flourish. Far from
being alarmed at the expected and impending failure of a similar
project--the Mississippi Scheme--the South Sea Company believed
sincerely in the feasibility of Law’s Scheme, and resolved to avoid what
they considered as his errors. Trusting to the possibility of pushing
credit to its utmost extent without danger, they proposed, in the spring
of 1720, to take upon themselves the whole national debt (at that time
£30,981,712) on being guaranteed 5 per cent. per annum for seven and a
half years, at the end of which time the debt might be redeemed if the
Government chose, and the interest reduced to 4 per cent. The directors
of the Bank of England, jealous of the prospective benefit and influence
which would thus accrue to the South Sea Company, submitted to
Government a counter-proposal; but the more dazzling nature of their
rival’s offer secured its acceptance by Parliament--in the Commons by
172 to 55, and (April 7) in the Lords by 83 to 17; Sir Robert Walpole in
the former, and Lords North and Grey, the Duke of Wharton and Earl
Cowper in the latter, in vain protesting against it as involving
inevitable ruin. During the passing of their bill, the Company’s stock
rose steadily to 330 on April 7,[32] falling to 290 on the following
day. Up till this date the scheme had been honestly promoted; but now,
seeing before them the prospect of speedily amassing abundant wealth,
the directors threw aside all scruples, and made use of every effective
means at their command, honest or dishonest, to keep up the factitious
value of the stock. Their zealous endeavours were crowned with success;
the shares were quoted at 550 on May 28, and 890 on June 1. A general
impression having by this time gained ground that the stock had reached
its maximum, so many holders rushed to realise that the price fell to
630 on June 3. As this decline did not suit the personal interests of
the directors, they sent agents to buy up eagerly; and on the evening of
June 3, 750 was the quoted price. This and similar artifices were
employed as required, and had the effect of ultimately raising the
shares to 1000 in the beginning of August, when the chairman of the
Company and some of the principal directors sold out. On this becoming
known, a widespread uneasiness seized the holders of stock; every one
was eager to part with his shares, and on September 12 they fell to 400,
in spite of all the attempts of the directors to bolster up the
Company’s credit. The consternation of those who had been either unable
or unwilling to part with their scrip was now extreme; many capitalists
absconded, either to avoid ruinous bankruptcy, or to secure their
ill-gotten gains, and the Government became seriously alarmed at the
excited state of public feeling. Attempts were made to prevail on the
Bank to come to the rescue by circulating some millions of Company’s
bonds; but as the shares still declined, and the Company’s chief
cashiers, the Sword Blade Company, now stopped payment, the Bank refused
to entertain the proposal. The country was now wound up to a most
alarming pitch of excitement; the punishment of the fraudulent directors
was clamorously demanded, and Parliament was hastily summoned (December
8) to deliberate on the best means of mitigating this great calamity.
Both Houses proved, however, to be in as impetuous a mood as the public;
and in spite of the moderate counsels of Walpole, it was resolved
(December 9) to punish the authors of the national distresses, though
hitherto no fraudulent acts had been proved against them. An examination
of the proceedings of the Company was at once commenced; and on
Walpole’s proposal nine millions of South Sea bonds were taken up by the
Bank, and a similar amount by the East India Company. The officials of
the Company were forbidden to leave the kingdom for twelve months, or to
dispose of any of their property or effects. Ultimately various schemes,
involving the deepest fraud and villany, were discovered to have been
secretly concocted and carried out by the directors; and it was proved
that the Earl of Sunderland, the Duchess of Kendal, the Countess Platen
and her two nieces, Mr Craggs, M.P., the Company’s secretary, Mr Charles
Stanhope, a secretary of the Treasury, and the Sword Blade Company, had
been bribed to promote the Company’s bill in Parliament by a present of
£170,000 of South Sea stock. The total amount of fictitious stock
created for this and similar purposes was £1,260,000, nearly one-half of
which had been disposed of. Equally flagrant iniquity in the allocation
of shares was discovered, in which, among others, Mr Aislabie, the
Chancellor of the Exchequer, was implicated. Of these offenders, Mr
Stanhope and the Earl of Sunderland were acquitted through the unworthy
partiality of the Parliament; but Mr Aislabie, and the other directors
who were members of the House of Commons, were expelled; most of the
directors were discovered, and all of them suffered confiscation of
their possessions. The chairman was allowed to retain only £5000 out of
£183,000, and others in proportion to their share in the fraudulent
transactions of the Company. At the end of 1720, it being found that
£13,300,000 of real stock belonged to the Company, £8,000,000 of this
was taken and divided among the losers, giving them a dividend of 33⅓
per cent.; and by other schemes of adjustment the pressure was so fairly
and wisely distributed, that the excitement gradually subsided.” It will
thus be seen that the South Sea Bubble was, after all, not more
disastrous in its effects than many modern and comparatively unknown
speculations.

It is singular that the South Sea Bubble led to little--almost
nothing--in the way of advertisements. When we think of the columns
which now herald the advent of any new company, or for the matter of
that, any new idea of an old company, or any fresh specific or article
of clothing, it seems strange that at a time when the art of advertising
was fast becoming fashionable, no invitations to subscribe were
published in any of the daily or weekly papers that then existed. Just
before the consent of Parliament was obtained we find one or two stray
advertisements certainly, but they have no official status, as may be
judged by this, which is from the _Post Boy_, April 2-5, 1720:--

  ⸸*⸸ Some Calculations relating to the Proposals made by the South Sea
  Company and the Bank of England, to the House of Commons; Showing the
  loss to the New Subscribers, at the several Rates in the said
  Computations mention’d; and the Gain which will thereby accrue to the
  Proprietors of the Old South Sea Stock. By a Member of the House of
  Commons. Sold by J. Morphew near Stationers Hall. Pr. 1s. Where may
  be obtained Mr. Hutchison’s Answer to Mr. Crookshank’s Seasonable
  Remarks.

In the _Daily Courant_ of April 4 is also the following, which shows the
immense amount of the stock possessed by private individuals. The reward
offered for the recovery of the warrant seems ridiculously small, let
its value be what it might to the finder:--

  Lost or mislaid, a South Sea Dividend Warrant No. 1343 dated the 25th
  of February last, made out to John Powell Esq. for 630_l_ being for
  his Half Years Dividend on 21,000_l_ stock due the 25th of December
  last. If offered in Payment or otherwise please to stop it and give
  Notice to Mr Robert Harris at the South Sea House, and you shall
  receive 10s Reward, it not being endorsed by the said John Powell Esq.
  is of no use but to the Owner, Payment being Stopt.

The only official notification in reference to the Bubble is found in
the _London Gazette_, “published by authority,” of April 5-9, 1720. It
is the commencement of a list of Acts passed by the King, and runs
thus:--

  _Westminster, April 7._

  HIS Majesty came this Day to the House of Peers, and being in his
  Royal Robes seated on the Throne with the usual Solemnity, Sir William
  Saunderson, Gentleman-Usher of the Black Rod, was sent with a Message
  from His Majesty to the House of Commons, commanding their Attendance
  in the House of Peers; the Commons being come thither accordingly, His
  Majesty was pleased to give the Royal Assent to

  _An Act for enabling the South Sea Company to increase their present
  Capital Stock and Fund, by redeeming such publick Debts and
  Incumbrances as are therein mentioned, and for raising Money for
  lessening several of the publick Debts and Incumbrances, and for
  calling in the present Exchequer Bills remaining uncancelled, and for
  making forth new Bills in lieu thereof to be circulated and exchanged
  upon Demand at or near the Exchequer._

The advertisement then goes on to state what other Acts received the
royal assent, but with none of them have we anything to do. In the _Post
Boy_ of June 25-28 there is a notice of a contract being lost, which
runs thus:--

  WHereas a Contract for the Delivery of South Sea Stock made between
  William Byard Grey, Esq. and Mr. William Ferrour is mislaid or dropt:
  If the Person who is possess’d of it will bring it to the Wheat-Sheaf
  in Warwick-Lane, he shall have Ten Guineas Reward, and no Questions
  ask’d.

And in the issue of the same paper for June 30-July 1 we find this,
which refers to the Company on which all the South Sea directors’ orders
were made payable:--

  FOund at the South Sea House Saturday the 17th of June a Sword-Blade
  Company’s Note. If the Person that lost it will apply to Mr.
  Colston’s, a Toy Shop at the Flower-de-Luce against the Exchange in
  Cornhill, and describe the said Note shall have it return’d, paying
  the Charge of the Advertisement.

These are, however, only incidental advertisements, which might have
occurred had the Company been anything but that which it was; and so we
have only to remark on the peculiar quietness with which all rigging
operations were managed in those days. One of the paragraphs quoted in a
note a short distance back will, however, account for the fact that
advertisements were not found in the usual places.

The growth of the disgusting system which permitted of public combats
between women is exhibited in several advertisements of 1722, the most
noticeable among them being one in which a challenge and reply are
published as inducements to the public to disburse their cash and
witness a spectacle which must have made many a strong man sick:--

  CHALLENGE.--I, Elizabeth Wilkinson, of Clerkenwell, having had some
  words with Hannah Hyfield, and requiring satisfaction, do invite her
  to meet me upon the stage, and box me for three guineas; each woman
  holding half a crown in each hand, and the first woman that drops the
  money to lose the battle.

  ANSWER.--I, Hannah Hyfield, of Newgate Market, hearing of the
  resoluteness of Elizabeth Wilkinson, will not fail, _God willing_, to
  give her more blows than words, desiring home blows, and from her no
  favour; she may expect a good thumping!

The precaution taken with the half-crowns to keep the hands clenched and
so prevent scratching, shows that even these degraded creatures had not
quite forgotten the peculiarities of the sex. And that there is piety in
pugilism--even of this kind--is proved by the admittance that the Deity
had to give his consent to “the ladies’ battle.” But Mesdames Wilkinson
and Hyfield sink into insignificance when compared with the heroines of
the following, which is cut from the _Daily Post_ of July 17, 1728:--

  AT _Mr. Stokes’ Amphitheatre_ in Islington Road, this present Monday,
  being the 7 of October, will be a complete Boxing Match by the two
  following Championesses:--Whereas I, Ann Field, of Stoke Newington,
  ass-driver, well known for my abilities in boxing in my own defence
  wherever it happened in my way, having been affronted by Mrs. Stokes,
  styled the European Championess, do fairly invite her to a trial of
  the best skill in boxing for 10 pounds, fair rise and fall; and
  question not but to give her such proofs of my judgment that shall
  oblige her to acknowledge me Championess of the Stage, to the entire
  satisfaction of all my friends.

  I, Elizabeth Stokes, of the City of London, have not fought in this
  way since I fought the famous boxing woman of Billingsgate 29 minutes
  and gained a complete victory (which is six years ago); but as the
  famous Stoke Newington ass-woman dares me to fight her for the 10
  pounds, I do assure her I will not fail meeting her for the said sum,
  and doubt not that the blows which I shall present her with will be
  more difficult for her to digest, than any she ever gave her asses.
  _Note._--A man known by the name of Rugged and Tuff, challenges the
  best man of Stoke Newington to fight him for one guinea to what sum
  they please to venture. _N.B._--Attendance will be given at one, and
  the encounter to begin at four precisely. There will be the diversion
  of cudgel-playing as usual.

Pugilism was evidently a much valued accomplishment among the
lower-class ladies in 1728, and there is no doubt that Mrs Stokes and
Mrs Field were considered very estimable persons as well as great
athletes in their respective circles. There is, moreover, a suspicion of
humour about the reference to the asses in the reply of Mrs Stokes. In
the happily-named Rugged and Tuff we see the forerunner of that line of
champions of the ring which, commencing with Figg and Broughton, ran
unbroken up to comparatively modern days. Other advertisements about
this period relate to cock-matches and mains, sometimes specified to
“last the week,” to bull-baiting in its ordinary and sometimes in its
more cruel form of dressing up the beasts with fireworks, so as to
excite both them and the savage dogs to their utmost. Perhaps brutality
was never so rampant, or affected so many phases of society as it did in
the first half of the eighteenth century. Slavery was considered a
heaven-born institution, not alone as regards coloured races, for
expeditions to the Plantations went on merrily and afforded excellent
opportunities for the disposal of any one who happened to make himself
objectionable by word or deed, or even by his very existence. The wicked
uncle with an eye on the family property had a very good time then, and
the rightful heir was often doomed to a slavery almost worse than death.
Apropos of slavery, we may as well quote a very short advertisement
which shows how the home trade flourished in 1728. It is from the _Daily
Journal_ of September 28:--

  TO be sold, a Negro boy, aged eleven years. Enquire of the Virginia
  Coffee-house in Threadneedle street, behind the Royal Exchange.

Negroes had in 1728 become quite common here, and had pushed out their
predecessors, the Moors and Asiatics, who formerly held submissive
servitude. This was probably owing to the nefarious traffic commenced in
1680 by Hawkins, which in little more than a hundred years caused the
departure from their African homes and the transplanting in Jamaica
alone of 910,000 negroes, to say nothing of those who died on the
voyage, or who found their way to England and other countries.

  [28] This is Partridge the almanac-maker, who was fortunate enough to
  be mentioned in the “Rape of the Lock.” After the rape has taken place
  the poem goes on to say--

    “This the _beau monde_ shall from the Mall survey,
    And hail with music its propitious ray;
    This the blest lover shall for Venus take,
    And send up prayers from Rosamunda’s lake;
    This Partridge soon shall view in cloudless skies,
    When next he looks through Galileo’s eyes;
    And hence the egregious wizard shall foredoom
    The fate of Louis and the fall of Rome.”

  It would seem, therefore, that the guiding spirits of the _Tatler_,
  fancying that he had received undue publicity in a favourable manner,
  were disposed to show Partridge that all advertisements are not
  necessarily adjuncts to business.

  [29] An advertising trussmaker of that day.

  [30] A specimen advertisement of one of these inventors appears in the
  _Postman_ of January 6-9, 1705:--

  SINCE so many upstarts do daily publish one thing or other to
  counterfeit the original strops, for setting razors, penknives,
  lancets, etc., upon, And pretend them to be most excellent; the first
  author of the said strops, does hereby testify that all such sort of
  things are only made in imitation of the true ones, which are
  permitted to be sold by no one but Mr Shipton, at John’s Coffee House,
  in Exchange Alley, as hath been often mentioned in the Gazettes, to
  prevent people being further imposed upon.

  An opposition notice appears shortly afterwards in the _Daily Courant_
  of January 11:--

  THE _Right Venetian Strops_, being the only fam’d ones made, as
  appears by the many thousands that have been sold, notwithstanding the
  many false shams and ridiculous pretences, as “original,” etc., that
  are almost every day published to promote the sale of counterfeits,
  and to lessen the great and truly wonderful fame of the _Venetian
  Strops_, which are most certainly the best in the world, for they will
  give razors, penknives, lancets, etc., such an exquisite fine, smooth,
  sharp, exact and durable edge, that the like was never known, which
  has been experienced by thousands of gentlemen in England, Scotland
  and Ireland. Are sold only at Mr Allcraft’s, a toy shop at the Blue
  Coat Boy, against the Royal Exchange, &c. &c.

  [31] Both oculists of some renown, who advertised largely.

  [32] On January 1, 1720, the _Daily Courant_, and other papers, quote
  South Sea Stock at 127¾, 128⅝, to 128. Bank 150¼. India 200, 200½, to
  200. The quotation for Thursday, April 7 (in _Daily Post_, Friday,
  April 8), is, “Yesterday South Sea Stock was 314, 310, 311, 309, 309½,
  to 310. Bank 145. India 223.” On the 27th May it was 555, and Bank was
  205 (_Post Boy_, May 28). It then fell a little, but in the _Daily
  Courant_ of June 2 it is quoted at 610 to 760, Bank 210 to 220, India
  290 to 300. The _Daily Post_ of Wednesday, June 8, contains the
  following puff for the scheme: “’Tis said that the South Sea Company
  being willing to have all the Annuities subscribed to their Stock, now
  offer forty-five years’ purchase for those which have not yet been
  bought in.” And again: “The Annuities which have been subscribed into
  the South Sea Stock are risen to a very great height, so that what
  would formerly sell but for £1500, is now worth £8000.” In the _Post
  Boy_ of June 23-25, we find this: “Yesterday South Sea Stock was for
  the opening of the Book 1100. 1st Subscr. 565, 2d Subscr. 610, 3rd
  Subscr. 200. Bank 265. East India 440.” On Friday, June 24, the _Daily
  Post_ says, “We hear that South Sea Stock was sold yesterday at 1000
  per cent., and great wagers are laid that it will be currently sold
  before the opening of the Books at 1200 per cent. exclusive of the
  Dividend.” It is several times after this quoted at 1100, but never
  over. These compilations show that a higher rate was attained by the
  stock than is given in the article quoted above, or is generally
  believed.




CHAPTER IX.

_MIDDLE OF EIGHTEENTH CENTURY._


The further we advance into the years which mark the Hanoverian
succession, the more profligate, reckless, and cruel do the people seem
to become. Public exhibitions of the most disgusting character are every
day advertised; ruffians and swashbucklers abound, and are ready to do
anything for a consideration; animals are tortured at set periods for
the delectation of the multitude; and we see verified, by means of the
notices in the papers, the peculiarities which Hogarth seized and made
immortal, and which so many squeamish people consider to be overdrawn
nowadays. Assignations of the most immoral character are openly
advertised, and men of the time may well have attempted to ignore the
existence of female virtue. A recent writer, commenting on this state of
affairs, says, in reference to the latter class of shameless
advertisements: “We are far from saying that such matters are not
managed now through the medium of advertisements, for they are, but in
how much more carefully concealed a manner? The perfect contempt of
public opinion, or rather the public acquiescence in such infringements
of the moral law which it exhibits, proves the general state of morality
more than the infringements themselves, which obtain more or less at all
times. Two of the causes which led to this low tone of manners with
respect to women were doubtless the detestable profligacy of the courts
of the two first Georges, and the very defective condition of the
existing marriage law. William and Mary, and Anne, had, by their
decorous, not to say frigid lives, redeemed the crown, and in some
measure the aristocracy, from the vices of the Restoration. Crown,
court, and quality, however, fell into a still worse slough on the
accession of the Hanoverian king, who soiled afresh the rising tone of
public life by his scandalous connection with the Duchess of Kendal and
the Countess of Darlington; whilst his son and successor was absolutely
abetted in his vicious courses by his own queen, who promoted his
commerce with his two mistresses, the Countesses of Suffolk and
Yarmouth. The degrading influence of the royal manners was well seconded
by the condition of the law. Keith’s Chapel in Mayfair, and that at the
Fleet, were the Gretna Greens of the age, where children could get
married at any time of the day or night for a couple of crowns. It was
said at the time that at the former chapel six thousand persons were
annually married in this offhand way; the youngest of the beautiful Miss
Gunnings was wedded to the Duke of Hamilton at twelve o’clock at night,
with a ring off the bed-curtain, at this very ‘marriage-shop.’ The
fruits of such unions may be imagined. The easy way in which the
marriage bond was worn and broken through, is clearly indicated by the
advertisements which absolutely crowd the public journals, from the
accession of the house of Brunswick up to the time of the third George,
of husbands warning the public not to trust their runaway wives.” It
must not be imagined, though, that wives were the only sinners, or that
vice was confined to any particular and exclusive class. It was the
luxury of all, and according to their opportunities all enjoyed it.

About this time Fleet marriages, and the scandals consequent upon them,
were in full swing. In a number of the _Weekly Journal_ this statement
is made: “From an inspection into the several registers for marriages
kept at the several alehouses, brandy-shops, &c., within the Rules of
the Fleet Prison, we find no less than thirty-two couples joined
together from Monday to Thursday last without licences, contrary to an
express Act of Parliament against clandestine marriages, that lays a
severe fine of £200 on the minister so offending, and £100 each on the
persons so married in contradiction to the said statute. Several of the
above-named brandy-men and victuallers keep clergymen in their houses at
20s. per week, hit or miss; but it is reported that one there will stoop
to no such low conditions, but makes at least £500 per annum of Divinity
jobs after that manner.” A fair specimen of the kind of advertisement
published by these gentlemen is this:--

  G. R.--At the True Chapel, at the old Red Hand and Mitre, three doors
  up Fleet Lane, and next door to the White Swan, Marriages are
  performed by authority by the Rev. Mr. Symson, educated at the
  University of Cambridge, and late chaplain to the Earl of Rothes.

  _N.B._--Without imposition.

A curious phase of the dangers of the streets is found in a narrative
published in the _Grub Street Journal_ of 1735, which is well worth
reproducing: “Since midsummer last a young lady of birth and fortune was
deluded and forced from her friends, and by the assistance of a
wrynecked swearing parson, married to an atheistical wretch, whose life
is a continued practice of all manner of vice and debauchery. And since
the ruin of my relative, another lady of my acquaintance had like to
have been trepanned in the following manner: This lady had appointed to
meet a gentlewoman at the Old Playhouse in Drury Lane, but extraordinary
business prevented her coming. Being alone when the play was done, she
bade a boy call a coach for the city. One dressed like a gentleman helps
her into it, and jumps in after her. ‘Madam,’ says he, ‘this coach was
called for me, and since the weather is so bad, and there is no other, I
beg leave to bear you company; I am going into the City, and will set
you down wherever you please.’ The lady begged to be excused, but he
bade the coachman drive on. Being come to Ludgate Hill, he told her his
sister, who waited his coming but five doors up the court, would go with
her in two minutes. He went, and returned with his pretended sister, who
asked her to step in one minute, and she would wait upon her in the
coach. The poor lady foolishly followed her into the house, when
instantly the sister vanished, and a tawny fellow in a black coat and a
black wig appeared. ‘Madam, you are come in good time, the doctor was
just agoing!’ ‘The doctor!’ says she, terribly frighted, fearing it was
a madhouse; ‘what has the doctor to do with me?’ ‘To marry you to that
gentleman. The doctor has waited for you these three hours, and will be
paid by you or that gentleman before you go!’ ‘That gentleman,’ says
she, recovering herself, ‘is worthy a better fortune than mine;’ and
begged hard to be gone. But Doctor Wryneck swore she should be married;
or if she would not he would still have his fee, and register the
marriage for that night. The lady finding she could not escape without
money or a pledge, told them she liked the gentleman so well she would
certainly meet him to-morrow night, and gave them a ring as a pledge,
‘which,’ says she, ‘was my mother’s gift on her deathbed, enjoining
that, if ever I married, it should be my wedding ring;’ by which cunning
contrivance she was delivered from the black doctor and his tawny crew.”
Pennant, in his “Some Account of London,” says: “In walking along the
street in my youth, on the side next the prison, I have often been
tempted by the question, ‘Sir, will you be pleased to walk in and be
married?’ Along this most lawless space was hung up the frequent sign of
a male and female hand enjoined, with ‘Marriages performed within’
written beneath. A dirty fellow invited you in. The parson was seen
walking before his shop; a squalid, profligate figure, clad in a
tattered plaid nightgown, with a fiery face, and ready to couple you for
a dram of gin or a roll of tobacco.” Some of the notes found in the
registers purchased by Government in 1821, and deposited with the
Registrar of the Consistory Court of London, are very amusing. Here are
one or two extracts: “June 10, 1729. John Nelson, of ye parish of St
George, Hanover, batchelor and gardener, and Mary Barnes, of ye same,
sp. married. Cer. dated 5 November 1727, to please their parents.”
“1742, May 24.--A soldier brought a barber to the Cock, who I think said
his name was James, barber by trade, was in part married to Elizabeth:
they said they were married enough.” “A coachman came, and was half
married, and would give but 3s. 6d., and went off.” “Edward ---- and
Elizabeth ---- were married, and would not let me know their names.” A
popular error was current at this time, that if a newly-married woman
ran across the street with nothing on but her shift, she would free her
husband from all liability as to her debts. More than once the
following, or words akin to it, is found: “The woman ran across Ludgate
Hill in her shift.” Riotous persons often terrified these parsons, such
memoranda as the following occurring now and again: “Had a noise for
four hours about the money.” “Married at a barber’s shop one Kerrils,
for half a guinea, after which it was extorted out of my pocket, and for
fear of my life delivered.” “Harrowson swore most bitterly, and was
pleased to say that he was fully determined to kill the minister that
married him. He came from Gravesend, and was sober.” And so on through
infinite variety. But to return to our advertisements.

Though advertisements were by no means scarce about this time, the
imposition of the duty still told heavily with regard to the regular
business community, for in regular trade few things were advertised with
the exception of books and quack medicines, all other commercial matters
being disposed of by means of agents who advertised in a general manner,
of which the following, from the _London Journal_ of February 7, 1730,
is a fair specimen:--

  THE _Public General_ CORRESPONDENCE _of affairs, for Improving Money,
  Trade and Estates, etc._

  Some Persons want to BUY ESTATES HELD BY LEASE from any Bishop, Dean
  and Chapter, or College, either for Lives or Term of Years.

  A Person desires to dispose of considerable SUMS OF MONEY, in such
  manner as will bring him in the best interest, tho’ liable to some
  uncertainty.

  A Rev. Clergyman is willing to EXCHANGE A RECTORY of about £250 a
  year, in a pleasant cheap country, for a Rectory in or near London,
  tho’ of less value.

  Persons who want to raise a considerable sum of money on ESTATES,
  FREEHOLD or FOR LIFE, may be served therein, and in such a manner as
  not to be obliged to repayment, if they do not see fit.

  ESTATES _which some Persons want to_ BUY.

  Some Freehold Lands not far from Hertford.--An Estate from £200 to
  about £500 a year, within 60 miles of London.--A large Estate in
  Middlesex or Hertfordshire.--A good Farm in Sussex or Surrey.--And
  several persons want to buy and some to hire other estates.

  ESTATES _which some Persons want to_ SELL.

  Several good Houses in and about London, both Freehold and
  Leasehold.--A very good house for a Gentleman, pleasantly situated
  near Bury, with good gardens, etc. and some estate in land.--Several
  houses fit for gentlemen in the country, within 20 miles of London,
  some with and some without land.--And several persons want to sell,
  and some to let other estates.

  _The Particulars will be given by Mr Thomas Rogers_, Agent _for
  persons who want any such business to be done. He answers letters_
  Post-paid, _and advertises if desired, not otherwise_, All at his own
  charge _if not successful_.

  He gives Attendance as undermentioned:

  Daily except Saturdays from 4 to 6 o’clock at home in Essex Street,
  then at Rainbow Coffee-house, by the TEMPLE.

  At 12  } Tuesday at Tom’s Coffee-house, by the EXCHANGE.
  o’clock} Thursday at Will’s Coffee-house, near WHITEHALL.
           And on sending for he will go to persons near.

The next advertisement which offers itself for special notice is of a
somewhat ludicrous character, and shows into what straits a man may get
by means of a highly-developed imagination and an indiscreet tongue. It
runs thus:--

  _Bristol, January 19, 1732/3._

  WHEREAS on or about the 10th day of November last I did say in the
  Presence of Several People, That Anthony Coller, living at the Sign of
  the Ship and Dove in the Pithay in Bristol, was sent to Newgate for
  putting Live Toads in his Beer, in order to fine it; I do solemnly
  declare, That I never knew any such Thing to have been done by the
  said Coller nor do I believe he was ever guilty of the aforesaid or
  any like Practice; I am therefore heartily sorry for what I have said
  and hereby ask Pardon for the same of the above said Person, who, I
  fear, has been greatly injur’d by the unguarded Tongue of

  JOSEPH ROBINS.

To this curious confession, which was evidently extorted from the
imaginative but timid Joseph, four witnesses appended their names. The
next gentleman to whom our attention is directed was still more
unfortunate than Mr Robins, for he received punishment without having
committed any particular offence. He, however, seems to have been made
of very different mettle from the Bristol man, for he is anxious to try
his chances on better terms with those who assaulted him. The
advertisement is from the _Daily Post_ of January 22, 1739-40:--

  WHEREAS on Saturday the 12th instant between six and seven at night, a
  gentleman coming along the north side of Lincolns Inn fields was set
  upon by three persons unknown and receiv’d several blows before he
  could defend himself, upon a presumption, as they said that he was the
  author of a Satire call’d “the Satirist.” This is to inform them that
  they are greatly mistaken, and that the insulted person is neither the
  author of that Satire nor of any Satire or Poem whatever, nor knows
  what the said Satire contains: and therefore has reason to expect, if
  they are Gentlemen, that they will not refuse him a meeting, by a line
  to A. Z., to be left at the Bar of Dick’s Coffee House, Temple Bar, in
  order to make him such atonement as shall be judged reasonable by the
  friends on each side; otherwise he is ready to give any one of them,
  singly, the satisfaction of a Gentleman, when and wherever shall be
  appointed, so as he may not have to deal with Numbers.

A. Z. must have been possessed of a considerable amount of faith if he
believed that the rufflers who set upon him unawares would consent
either to expose themselves, or to give what he and others called, in a
thoughtless manner, “the satisfaction of a gentleman.” It must have
been rare satisfaction at any time to be run through the body or shot
through the head, after having been insulted or injured. In the _London
Daily Post and General Advertiser_, shortly after this (February 5,
1739-40), is an advertisement which looks suspiciously like a hoax,
unless, indeed, it was believed at the time that one swallow would make
a summer. As the advertiser was probably devoted to the agricultural
interest, this is a not unlikely solution of the problem, more
especially as a caged bird would naturally not be expected to possess
the desired power:--

  IF any person will deliver a Swallow, Swift (commonly called a Jack
  Squeeler) or Martin, alive to Mr Thomas Meysey, at Bewdley in
  Worcestershire, before the 22d day of this instant February, he shall
  have Ten Guineas Reward paid him, and all reasonable charges allowed
  him for his journey by the said Thomas Meysey: Or if any person will
  deliver either of the said birds to Mr John Perrins, Distiller, in
  Butcher Row, London, soon enough to send it to the said Thomas Meysey
  at Bewdley before the 22d Instant February, and the bird shall be
  alive when delivered, or come to live after it is delivered to the
  said Thomas Meysey, he shall have Ten Guineas Reward paid him, and all
  reasonable charges allowed him by the said John Perrins.

  These birds are oftentimes found in the clifts in great rocks, old
  chimneys, and old houses, seemingly dead; but when they are put before
  a fire, they will come to life.

  _N.B._--It must not be a Swallow, Swift or Martin that has been kept
  in a cage.

There must have been much capturing of small birds, and many may have
been roasted alive in attempts to preserve them for the benefit of
Thomas Meysey. It certainly does appear as if about this time humour was
so rife that it had to find vent in all sorts of strange advertisements,
and the quacks were not slow to follow the lead thus set, as is shown by
the exercising swindle which follows, and which certainly must have
exercised the minds of many who read it at the time. It appears in the
same paper as the foregoing, on March 7, 1739-40. (It is almost time by
March to know what year one is in.)

  FULLER _on_ EXERCISE.

  (_A Book worth reading_)

  NOTHING ought to be thought ridiculous that can afford the least ease
  or procure health. A very worthy gentleman not long ago had such an
  odd sort of a cholick, that he found nothing would relieve him so much
  as lying with his head downwards; which posture prov’d always so
  advantageous that he had a frame made to which he himself was fastened
  with Bolts, and then was turned head downwards, after which manner he
  hung till the pain went off. I hope none will say that this was
  unbecoming a grave and wise man, to make use of such odd means to get
  rid of an unsupportable pain. If people would but abstract the benefit
  got by exercise from the means by which it is got, they would set a
  great value upon it, if some of the advantages accruing from exercise
  were to be procured by any other medicine, nothing in the world would
  be in more esteem than that Medicine.

  This is to answer some objections to the book of the Chamber Horse
  (for exercise) invented by HENRY MARSH, in Clement’s Inn Passage,
  Clare Market; who, it is well known, has had the honour to serve some
  persons of the greatest distinction in the Kingdom; and he humbly begs
  the favour of Ladies and Gentlemen to try both the Chamber Horses,
  which is the only sure way of having the best. This machine may be of
  great service to children.

Mr Marsh may have been clever at making horses for chamber use, but he
doesn’t seem to have understood argument much; for whatever pleasure
there may be in bolting oneself on to a board, and then standing on
one’s head, it isn’t much in the way of exercise, even though Fuller may
have been at the bottom of it. We beg his pardon _on_ it. Still, the
idea is ingenious, and in a population, the majority of which, we are
informed, consists mainly of fools, would succeed now. From this same
_London Daily Post and General Advertiser_, which is full of strange and
startling announcements, we take another advertisement, that is likely
to arouse the attention and excite the envy of all who nowadays suffer
from those dwellers in tents and other forms of bedsteads, the “mahogany
flats” or Norfolk Howards, who are particularly rapacious in lodgings
which are let after a long term of vacancy. This knowledge is the result
of actual experience. The date is March 15, 1740:--

  MARY SOUTHALL

  _Successor to_ John Southall, _the first and only person that ever
  found out the nature of_ BUGGS, _Author of the Treatise of those
  nauseous venomous Insects, published with the Approbation (and for
  which he had the honour to receive the unanimous Thanks) of the Royal
  Society_,

  GIVES NOTICE,

  THAT since his decease she hath followed the same business, and lives
  at the house of Mrs Mary Roundhall, in Bearlane, Christ Church Parish,
  Southwark. Such quality and gentry as are troubled with buggs, and are
  desirous to be kept free from those vermin, may know, on sending their
  commands to her lodgings aforesaid, when she will agree with them on
  easy terms, and at the first sight will justly tell them which of
  their beds are infested, &c., and which are free, and what is the
  expense of clearing the infested ones, never putting any one to more
  expense than necessary.

  Persons who cannot afford to pay her price, and is willing to destroy
  them themselves, may by sending notice to her place of abode
  aforesaid, be furnish’d with the NON PAREIL LIQUOR, &c. &c.

Bugs are said to have been very little if at all known in the days of
our ancestors. It is indeed affirmed in that valuable addition to
zoology, Southall’s “Treatise of Bugs” (London, 1730, 8vo), referred to
in the advertisement just quoted, that this insect was scarcely known in
England before the year 1670, when it was imported among the timber used
in rebuilding the city of London after the fire of 1666. That it was,
however, known much earlier is not to be doubted, though probably it was
far less common than at present, since Dr Thomas Muffet, in the
“Theatrum Insectorum,” informs us that Dr Penny, one of the early
compilers of that history of insects, relates his having been sent for
in great haste to Mortlake in Surrey, to visit two noble ladies who
imagined themselves seized with symptoms of the plague; but on Penny’s
demonstrating to them the true cause of their complaint--viz., having
been bitten by those insects, and even detecting them in their
presence--the whole affair was turned into a jest. This was in the year
1583. It is a somewhat remarkable fact, well known to those whose
misfortunes subject them to contiguity with these highly-scented
bloodsuckers, that within the past few years bugs have altered
considerably. The old, nearly round-bellied, and possibly jovial fellow,
has given way to a long dangerous creature who is known to experts as
the “omnibus bug,” not so much on account of his impartiality as because
of his shape. It is believed by some that this change is the result of
bugs being discontented with their position, and their natural (and
laudable) attempt to become something else in accordance with scientific
theory; but we fancy that the true reason of this change is that foreign
bugs have been imported in large numbers among cargoes, and not
infrequently about passengers, and that the original settlers are being
gradually exterminated in a manner similar to that which led to the
extirpation of the black rat in this country. There is yet another
theory with regard to the change which it would be unfair to pass over.
It is that the bugs have altered--it is admitted on all sides that the
alteration first exhibited itself at the East End of London--in
consequence of feeding on mixed and barbarous races about Ratcliffe
Highway and other dock purlieus. Any one who pays his money for this
book is at liberty to take his choice of hypotheses, but we can assure
him that the change is undoubtedly matter of fact.

The next specimen taken is of a literary turn, and appears in the
_Champion, or the Evening Advertiser_, of January 2, 1741. From it we
may judge of the number of burlesques and travesties which, some large,
some small, were called into existence by the publication of what many
consider to be Richardson’s masterpiece. Whatever rank “Pamela” may hold
as compared with “Clarissa Harlowe,” “Sir Charles Grandison,” and other
works by the same author, it is very little regarded now, while one of
the books to which it gave rise is now a representative work of English
literature. Here is the literary advertisement of the day:--

  _This Day is publish’d_

  (Price One Shilling and Sixpence),

  AN APOLOGY for the LIFE of Mrs. SHAMELA ANDREWS, in which the many
  notorious _Falsehoods_ and _Misrepresentations_ of a book called
  _Pamela_ are all expos’d and refuted; and the matchless _Arts_ of that
  young Politician set in a true and just light. Together with a full
  Account of all that passed between her and Parson Arthur Williams,
  whose character is represented in a Manner somewhat different from
  what he bears in _Pamela_, the whole being exact Copies of authentick
  Papers deliver’d to the Editor. Necessary to be had in all Families.
  With a modern Dedication after the Manner of the Antients, especially
  CICERO. By Mr. _Conny Keyber_.

  Printed for _A. Dodd_, at the Peacock without Temple Bar,
  _Where may be had, Price 1s._,

  1. The COURT SECRET, a Melancholy Truth. Translated from the Original
  _Arabic_. By an Adept in the Oriental Tongues.

  _Remember that a Prince’s Secrets are Balm conceal’d;
  But Poison if discover’d._

  --MASSINGER.

  _Also, Price 1s.,_

  2. A Faithful Narrative of the Unfortunate Adventures of _Charles
  Cartwright_, M.D., who in his voyage to _Jamaica_ was taken by a
  Spanish Privateer, and carried into _St Sebastians_. His hard usage
  there, and wonderful Escape from thence, &c. &c.

The “Court Secret” is possibly a satire on the evil doings which were
notorious in connection with high places at that time, but which happily
died out with their primary causes; and the other book is doubtless one
of those quaint stories of slavery and adventure which form interesting
reading even to this day. Next we come upon an advertisement which
offers special temptation to the female mind, as it combines the
gratification of more than one ruling passion of the time. It is from
the _General Advertiser_ of April 27, 1745:--

  The Interpretation of
  WOMEN’S
  DREAMS,
  With the _Prints_ of these DREAMS finely Engraved.

  If a _Single_ WOMAN _Dreams_ the 18th DREAM, it tells when she’ll be
  married. If the 19th, she may make her fortune.--The 35th tells what
  children she’ll have. But if she dreams the 34th DREAM

  She may as well wed FARINELLI, _All one_
  With a curious print of FARINELLI finely engraved,
  Plainly shewing to open and clear view, etc.
  The 42d DREAM describes the man she’s to have, and
  The 33d tells a WIFE also to LOOK ABOUT HER.
  The rest of the DREAMS tell, etc. etc. etc.

  To which is added A LOTTERY
  For HUSBANDS for young MAIDS,
  With the _Prints_ of these HUSBANDS, Finely Engraved.
  Not one Blank, but ALL Prizes, the _Lowest_ of which
  Is a very _Handsome_ and RICH _Young Gentleman_ that keeps his COACH.
  --And if she draws of the 6th class of _Tickets_, she is then sure to
    be
  MY LADY.
  To be drawn as soon as full--And
  Any Maiden that will put off TWO _Tickets_, shall have ONE for _Her
  Self_ to put her in Fortune’s way.

  ’Tis GIVEN GRATIS at Mr BURCHELL’S ANODYNE NECKLACE SHOP in Long Acre,
  Cutler and Toyshop. The sign of the case of knives next shop to _Drury
  Lane_,

    Where _on the counter it does_ Ready _Lie
    For_ ALL _who’ll_ step in _for’t in Passing by_.

This Mr Burchell of the Anodyne Necklace was a notorious quack of the
time, to whom reference is made further on. It is patent to the most
casual observer that he is able to dispose his wares in the most
tempting manner, and the book, as well as the tickets, must have had a
very good sale indeed. Also portraying the tastes and peculiarities of
this portion of the eighteenth century is an invitation taken from the
_General Advertiser_ in October 1745, which displays inordinate vanity
on the part of the writer, or, to put it in the mildest form,
peculiarity of behaviour on that of the lady to whom he addresses
himself:--

  WHEREAS a lady last Saturday evening at the playhouse in Drury Lane in
  one of the left-hand boxes, was observed to take particular notice of
  a gentleman who sat about the middle of the pit, and as her company
  would be esteemed the greatest favour, she is humbly desired to send
  him directions, where and in what manner she would be waited upon, and
  direct the said letter to be left for P. M. Z. at the Portugal Coffee
  house near the Exchange.

Notices of this kind--many of the most barefaced, and not a few of a
decidedly indelicate description--must have been a fruitful source of
income to the proprietors of newspapers; and that professions of
adoration for unknown women--most of whom were presumably married, else
why all the concealment and strategy?--did not fall off as years
progressed is shown by the following, taken from a wealth of the same
kind in the commencement of 1748. It is also from the _General
Advertiser_:--

  WHEREAS a young lady was at Covent Garden playhouse last Tuesday
  night, and received a blow with a square piece of wood on her breast;
  if the lady be single and meet me on Sunday at two o’clock, on the
  Mall in St James’s Park, or send a line directed for A. B., to Mr
  Jones’s, at the Sun Tavern at St Paul’s Churchyard, where and when I
  shall wait on her, to inform her of something very much to her
  advantage on honourable terms, her compliance will be a lasting
  pleasure to her most obedient servant.

This man, though somewhat rude in his style, and, judging from the
description of his adventure at the playhouse, rather coarse in his
manners, is noticeable for stipulating that his charmer shall be single.
Let us hope that, if his intentions were honourable, he prospered in his
suit. If he didn’t, then perhaps he felt consoled by the knowledge that
virtue is its own reward.

  TO THE JOYOUS.--The Bloods are desired to meet together at the house
  known by the name of the Sir Hugh Middleton, near Saddler’s Wells,
  Islington, which Mr Skeggs has procured for that day for the better
  entertainment of those Gentlemen who agreed to meet at his own house.
  Dinner will be on the Table punctually at two o’clock.

The advertisement just given, which appears in the _General Advertiser_
for January 13, 1748, is one of the rare instances of anything relating
to politics in advertisements. The only time when political significance
is given to an advertisement is when party dinners, of which the
foregoing seems to be one, are advertised. The Sir Hugh Middleton is
still in existence, and a few years back, when Sadler’s Wells was the
only home for legitimacy in London, was much frequented by theatrical
stars and the lesser lights of the drama. Comparatively recently a
music-hall has been added to the establishment, which, however
profitable in a pecuniary sense, hardly adds to the reputation of this
well-known and once suburban tavern. In another preliminary notice,
which appears early in April, attention is directed to another part of
the town, and probably to another phase of political and party
existence. It is, like the others, from the _General Advertiser_, which
at the time was a great medium. The two which follow it are also from
the same paper:--

  HALF-MOON TAVERN, CHEAPSIDE.--Saturday next, the 16 April, being the
  anniversary of the Glorious Battle of Culloden, the Stars will
  assemble in the Moon at six in the evening. Therefore the choice
  spirits are desired to make their appearance and fill up the joy.

It is not hard to determine the sentiments of those who then called
Culloden a glorious battle, though we should think there are few
nowadays who, whatever their tastes and sympathies, would affix the
adjective to a victory which, however decisive, was marred by one of the
most disgraceful and cowardly massacres of any time. But the shame still
rests on the memory of that man who was truly a butcher--a butcher of
the defenceless, but an impotent officer and arrant coward in the
presence of armed equality; and so, as his name leaves a nasty taste in
the mouth, we will pass on to a contemporary card put forth by an
enterprising tradesman:--

  JOHN WARD, STAY-MAKER,

  AT the Golden Dove, in Hanover Street, Long Acre, Makes Tabby all over
  for £1, 13s. 0d., for large sizes £1, 16s. 0d.; ticken backs £1, 7s.
  0d., for large sizes two or three shillings advance, with the very
  best of goods and the very best of work; neither would I accept a
  ship-load of the second-best bone, and be obliged to use it, to
  deceive people, nor tabby nor trimming. I am willing to produce
  receipts in a court of justice for tabby, bone, &c., and be entirely
  disannulled business, or counted an impostor and a deceiver, if I act
  contrary to what I propose; which if I did I should be guilty of
  nothing but deceit, nor nothing less than fraud, and so don’t ought to
  be allowed; but I can give the direct contrary proofs; for I can prove
  I have had eighteen measures at a time by me since Christmas, for
  people as I have made for several times before, and all the winter
  never less than five or six in a week, often more, all old customers;
  and in consideration its all for ready money, it shows a prodigious
  satisfaction. I buy for ready money, and that commands the best of
  goods, and the allowance made in consideration thereof.

Mr Ward speaks like a conscientious man, but so do most of the
manufacturers of female apparel--or at least they endeavour to--who
advertise. The _General Advertiser_ was started in 1745, and its title
indicates the purpose for which it was intended. It was “the first
successful attempt to depend for support upon the advertisements it
contained, thereby creating a new era in the newspaper press. From the
very outset its columns were filled with them, between fifty and sixty,
regularly classified and separated by rules, appearing in each
publication; in fact the advertising page put on for the first time a
modern look. The departure of ships is constantly notified, and the
engravings of these old high-pooped vessels sail in even line down the
column. Trading matters have at last got the upper hand. You see ‘a pair
of leather bags,’ ‘a scarlet laced coat,’ ‘a sword,’ still inquired
after; and theatres make a show, for this was the dawning of the age of
Foote, Macklin, Garrick, and most of the other great players of the last
century; but, comparatively speaking, the gaieties and follies of the
town ceased gradually from this time to proclaim themselves through the
medium of advertisements.” The great earthquake at Lisbon so frightened
people about this time that a law was passed prohibiting masquerades;
and the other means of amusement, the china auctions, the rope-dancing,
the puppet shows, and the public breakfasts, became scarcer and scarcer
as a new generation sprang into being, and the padded, powdered, and
patched ladies of high descent and doubtful reputation faded from the
world of fashion. This, however, was a work of time, and the crop of
noticeable advertisements, though smaller, is still sufficiently large
for the purpose of making extracts.

Continuing, then, on our way, we do not travel far from the staymaker’s
announcement, and are still in the same month, when we drop upon a
notice which requires no explanation, so well does it apply itself to
the minds of those whom it may concern. It runs thus:--

  WHEREAS Ministers of State and other persons in power are often
  importuned for places and preferments which are not in their disposal,
  and whereas many Gentlemen waste their lives and fortunes in a long
  but vain dependance on the Great; This is to give notice, that in
  order to preserve the suitors, on the one hand, from such
  disappointments, and the vexation, expense, and loss of time with
  which they are attended; and men in power, on the other, from being
  solicited on matters not in their department of business:

  At No. 15, one pair of stairs, in the King’s-bench Walk, in the
  Temple, gentlemen at an easy charge may be informed what is in their
  patrons’ power to bestow, and what with consistency and propriety they
  may ask for; (either civil, ecclesiastical, or military, by land or
  sea, together with the business of each employment, salaries, fees,
  &c.) as also by what methods to apply, and obtain a speedy and
  definite answer.

  At the same place the most early and certain intelligence may be had
  of the vacancies which occur in all public offices. Those who have any
  business to transact with the Government, may be put into the easiest
  and readiest way to accomplish it, and those who have places to
  dispose of may depend on secrecy and always hear of purchasers.

  _N.B._--At the same place, accompts depending in Chancery, or of any
  other kind, are adjusted; as likewise the business of a money
  scrivener transacted, in buying and selling estates, lending money
  upon proper securities, and proper securities to be had for money.

This agency, if properly conducted, must have been as convenient for
patrons as for place applicants, and doubtless the “ministers of State
and other persons in power” must often have been astonished to discover
what power they really possessed, which discovery would never have been
made had it not been for the services of the gentleman up one pair of
stairs.

In January 1752, the widow Gatesfield discovered the advantage likely
to accrue from the quotation in an advertisement of any independent
testimony, no matter how remote, and so being anxious to acquaint the
public with the superiority of the silver spurs, for fighting cocks,
manufactured at her establishment, she concluded her announcement in the
_Daily Advertiser_ as follows:--

  ☞ Mr Gatesfield was friend and successor to the late Mr Smith
  mentioned in Mr Hallam’s ingenious poem called the _Cocker_, p. 58.

    As curious artists different skill disclose,
    The various weapon different temper shows;
    Now curving points to soft a temper bear,
    And now to hard their brittleness declare.
    Now on the plain the treach’rous weapons lye,
    Now wing’d in air the shiver’d fragments fly:
    Surpris’d, chagrin’d, the others gaze,
    And SMITH alone ingenious artist praise.

The following, which appears about the same time, is of a rather
doubtful order. It is inserted in the _General Advertiser_ of January 6,
1752, and seems to be an attempt to renew a friendship broken off by
some frolicsome fair ones at the sacrifice of as little dignity as
possible. The advertiser certainly seems to know a good deal about the
missing ladies:--

  WHEREAS two young ladies of graceful figure, delicate turned limbs and
  noble aspect, lately absenting themselves from their admirers, are
  suspected maliciously to have sent an expensive Packet, containing
  four indecent Words in various Languages, to a gentleman near Hanover
  Square: This is to give notice whosoever shall induce these ladies to
  surrender themselves to that gentleman, shall receive a suitable
  reward. The ladies may depend on the gentleman’s discretion.

The tender honour of the fine gentlemen of sixscore years ago is
admirably shown by the next two public announcements, the first of which
appears in the _General Advertiser_ for January 13, 1752:--

  DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane playhouse, a
  dispute was carried to a great length, between two gentlemen, but all
  the reparation demanded by the injured party being publicly granted,
  the affair had no bad consequences.

Three days after, the advertisement was repeated in the same paper with
the addition of some particulars:--

  DURING the performance on Saturday night at Drury Lane playhouse, a
  dispute was carried to a great length between Mr V----n and a
  gentleman unknown; but on the stranger being made sensible of his
  error, and making public submission and gentleman-like reparation, it
  was amicably terminated.

Mr V----n was evidently very anxious that his friends should know he had
borne himself bravely, and like a gentleman, even at the risk of
bloodshed. Nowadays he would have endeavoured to get his advertisement
into another portion of the paper, and “Jenkins’s” services and leaded
type would doubtless have been brought into requisition.

The _General Advertiser_ seems to have been a medium for affairs of
gallantry, for just at this period we find the annexed:--

  A TALL, well-fashion’d, handsome young woman, about eighteen, with a
  fine bloom in her countenance, a cast in one of her eyes, scarcely
  discernable; a well-turned nose, and dark-brown uncurled hair flowing
  about her neck, which seemed to be newly cut; walked last new year’s
  day about three o’clock in the afternoon, pretty fast through Long
  acre, and near the turn into Drury Lane met a young gentleman, wrapp’d
  up in a blue roccelo cloak, whom she look’d at very steadfastly: He
  believes he had formerly the pleasure of her acquaintance: If she will
  send a line directed to H. S. Esq. to be left at the bar of the Prince
  of Orange Coffeehouse, the corner of Pall Mall, intimating where she
  can be spoke with, she will be inform’d of something greatly to her
  advantage. She walked in a dark coloured undressed gown, black hat and
  capuchin; a low middle-aged woman plainly dressed, and a footman
  following close behind, seemed to attend her.

It is to be presumed that the hair, and not the neck, is referred to as
being newly cut, though at this distance of date it certainly does not
matter much which, except for the purpose of discovering probable fresh
peculiarities among our very peculiar ancestors. That more than one
cunning tradesman began about now to understand the full value of
judicious puffery, is well shown by the following ingenious
advertisement, in the form of a letter to the editor of the _General
Advertiser_, of January 19, 1752, which is a good specimen of that
disinterested friendship which people always have for themselves:--

  SIR,

  Your inserting this in your paper will be of great service to the
  public, and very much oblige,

  Your humble servant,

  E. G.

  That Mr Parsons, staymaker at the Golden Acorn, James Street, Covent
  Garden, makes stays for those that are crooked, in a perfect easy
  pleasant manner: so that the wearer is as easy in them, though ever so
  crooked, as the straitest woman living, and appears so strait and easy
  a shape that it is not to be perceived by the most intimate
  acquaintances. As to misses that are crooked or inclined to be so,
  either by fall, sickness, etc., he always prevents their growing
  worse, and has often with his care and judgment, in particular methods
  he has in making their coats and stays, brought them intirely strait,
  which I can attest, if required, by several which were infants at my
  boarding School and are now good-shap’d women. I have often persuaded
  Mr Parsons to let this be published in the Papers, for the good of my
  sex, for what would not any gentlewoman give, who has this misfortune,
  either in themselves or their children, to know of a man that can make
  them appear strait and easy, and their children made strait or
  preserved from growing worse. But his answer was that he did not like
  it to be in the Papers; and not only that, but the Public might think
  he work’d only for those who have the misfortune of being crook’d. But
  certainly in mine, and every thinking person’s opinion, as he is so
  ingenious to make such vast additions to a bad shape, he must and can
  add some beauties to a good one by making a genteel stay. He has been
  in business for himself to my knowledge 26 years; consequently has,
  and does work, for genteel shapes as well as bad. I have several
  fine-shaped misses in my School that he works for, whose parents
  always give me thanks for recommending him, and are pleased to say
  that he makes the genteelest stays, robes, or coats they ever saw; and
  I doubt not, but every one that employs him will say the same.

  Sir, as the publishing this in the Papers (which I acknowledge was
  first without your consent), has been of such universal service,
  therefore I desire you’ll permit the continuance of it, for I
  sincerely do it for the good of my sex, knowing whoever applies to you
  will receive great benefit thereby.

  ELIZABETH GARDINER.

Mrs Gardiner seems to have known just as much about Mr Parsons as Mr
Parsons knew about himself, or at all events as much as he cared to let
other people know. Very different is the next selection, which goes to
show that however unfashionable a thing love at first sight may be now,
it had some claims to consideration in 1752, from the _Daily Advertiser_
of March 30, in which year, this is taken:--

  IF the young gentleman who came into the Oratorio last Wednesday and
  by irresistible address gained a place for the lady he attended is yet
  at liberty, Sylvia may still be happy. But, alas! her mind is racked
  when she reflects on all the tender anxiety he discovered (or she
  fears she saw) in all his care of her that evening. How much, how deep
  was all his attention engaged by that too lovely, too happy fair! At
  all events an interview is earnestly sought, even if it be to talk to
  me of eternally lasting sorrow. Notice how to direct to him shall not
  want gratitude. He may remember a circumstance of a lady’s mentioning
  as he passed the sentimental look and sweetness of his eye.

There is just a suspicion of humbug about this, unless, indeed, it
emanated from an amorous dame of the Lady Bellaston school, for no young
lady of even those days would have penned such an effusion. Of quite a
different kind is the following, and yet there is a covert satire upon
the doings of the day in it, which suggests a relationship. It is not
impossible that both this, which is from the _Daily Advertiser_ of
October 27, 1752, and that which precedes it, emanate from the same
source:--

  _An Address to the_ GENTLEMEN.

  _GENTLEMEN_,--It is well known that many of you spare neither pains
  nor cost when in pursuit of a Woman you have a mind to ruin, or when
  attached to one already undone. But I don’t remember to have heard of
  any considerable benevolence conferred by any of you upon a virtuous
  Woman: I therefore take this method to let you know, that if there
  should be any among you who have a desire to assist (with a
  _considerable_ present) an agreeable Woman, for no other reason than
  because she wants it, such Person or Persons (if such there be), may
  by giving their Address in this Paper, be informed of an occasion to
  exercise their disinterested Generosity.

There seems to have been no hurry on the part of the gentlemen to
respond to this appeal, which might have stirred the heart of a
knight-errant, but which had no effect on the bloods and fribbles of the
middle of last century. In this year 1752, as previously noticed, the
Act was passed forbidding a notification of “no questions asked” in
advertising lost or stolen property.[33] The _Edinburgh Courant_ of
October 28, 1758, supplies us with our next example, and also shows that
the course of true love was as uneven then as now:--

  GLASGOW, _Octob. 23, 1758_.

  WE Robert M‘Nair and Jean Holmes having taken into consideration the
  way and manner our daughter Jean acted in her Marriage, that she took
  none of our advice, nor advised us before she married, for which
  reason we discharged her from our Family, for more than Twelve Months;
  and being afraid that some or other of our Family may also presume to
  marry without duly advising us thereof, We, taking the affair into our
  serious consideration, hereby discharge all and every one of our
  Children from offering to marry without our special advice and consent
  first had and obtained; and if any of our Children should propose or
  presume to offer Marriage to any, without as aforesaid our advice and
  consent, they in that case shall be banished from our Family Twelve
  Months, and if they should go so far as to marry without our advice
  and consent, in that case they are to be banished from the Family
  Seven Years; but whoever advises us of their intention to marry and
  obtains our consent, shall not only remain Children of the Family, but
  also shall have a due proportion of our Goods, Gear, and Estate, as we
  shall think convenient, and as the bargain requires; and further if
  any one of our Children shall marry clandestinely, they, by so doing,
  shall lose all claim or title to our Effects, Goods, Gear or Estate;
  and we intimate this to all concerned, that none may pretend
  ignorance.

There is something original about discharging a member of one’s family
for twelve months or seven years, and then taking her back again; and so
there is in the idea that all members of this same house are not only
over-anxious to marry, but that they are unduly sought after. The family
must have been, indeed, a large one to necessitate notification through
the public press; and though our ignorance may be lamentable, we must
confess to not knowing why Mrs M‘Nair declined to call herself by her
husband’s name. We presume--nay, we hope--that Robert and Jean did not
upon principle object to wedlock, though the advertisement, coupled with
the fact of the dissimilarity of names, might lead any one to suppose
so. Marriage was much thought of in 1758, so far as advertisers are
concerned, as the following, culled from many of the same kind, which
now began to appear in the _Daily Advertiser_, will show:--

  A PERSON of character, candour and honour, who has an entire knowledge
  of the World, and has great Intimacy with both Sexes among the
  Nobility, Gentry and Persons of Credit and Reputation; and as it often
  happens, that many deserving Persons of both Sexes are deprived of the
  opportunity of entering into the state of Matrimony, by being
  unacquainted with the merit of each other, therefore upon directing a
  letter to A. Z. of any one’s intention of entering into the above
  State, to the advantage of each, to be left at Mr Perry’s, Miller’s
  Court, Aldermanbury, Secrecy and Honour will be observed in bringing
  to a Conclusion such their Intention. Any Person who shall send a
  Letter, is desired to order the bearer to put it into the Letter-box
  for fear it may be mislaid: and it is desired that none but those who
  are sincere would make any application on the above subject.

That people were, however, quite capable of conducting their own little
amours whenever a chance offered, the following, which is another of the
love-at-first-sight effusions, and a gem in its way, will show. It is
from the _London Chronicle_ of August 5, 1758:--

  A YOUNG LADY who was at Vauxhall on Thursday night last, in company
  with two Gentlemen, could not but observe a young Gentleman in blue
  and a gold-laced hat, who, being near her by the Orchestra during the
  performance, especially the last song, gazed upon her with the utmost
  attention. He earnestly hopes (if unmarried) she will favour him with
  a line directed to A. D. at the bar of the Temple Exchange
  Coffee-house, Temple-bar, to inform him whether Fortune, Family, and
  Character, may not entitle him, upon a further knowledge, to hope an
  interest in her Heart. He begs she will pardon the method he has taken
  to let her know the situation of his Mind, as, being a Stranger, he
  despaired of doing it any other way, or even of seeing her more. As
  his views are founded upon the most honourable Principles, he presumes
  to hope the occasion will justify it, if she generously breaks through
  this trifling formality of the Sex, rather than, by a cruel Silence,
  render unhappy one, who must ever expect to continue so, if debarred
  from a nearer acquaintance with her, in whose power alone it is to
  complete his Felicity.

This goes to prove what we have before remarked, that the concocters of
these advertisements were in the habit of falling in love with the women
whom they saw with other men; and so it is only natural to suppose, that
however honourable they may have protested themselves in print, they
were in reality mean, cowardly, and contemptible. The well-known Kitty
Fisher finds the utility of advertising as a means of clearing her
character, and in the _Public Advertiser_ of March 30, 1759, puts forth
the following petition, which had little effect upon her persecutors, as
the little scribblers continued, as little scribblers will even
nowadays, and “scurvy malevolence” also held sway over her destinies for
a considerable period:--

  TO err is a blemish entailed upon Mortality, and Indiscretions seldom
  or ever escape from Censure; the more heavy as the Character is more
  remarkable; and doubled, nay trebled, by the World, if the progress of
  that Character is marked by Success; then Malice shoots against it
  all her stings, the snakes of Envy are let loose; to the human and
  generous Heart then must the injured appeal, and certain relief will
  be found in impartial Honour. Miss Fisher is forced to sue to that
  jurisdiction to protect her from the baseness of little Scribblers and
  scurvy Malevolence; she has been abused in public Papers, exposed in
  Printshops, and to wind up the whole, some Wretches, mean, ignorant
  and venal, would impose upon the Public by daring to pretend to
  publish her Memoirs. She hopes to prevent the success of their
  endeavours by thus publicly declaring that nothing of that sort has
  the slightest foundation in Truth.

  C. FISHER.

We have already referred to an article written by Dr Johnson, in an
_Idler_ of 1759, on the subject of advertisements. It is very amusing,
and in it he says that “whatever is common is despised. Advertisements
are now so numerous that they are very negligently perused, and it is
therefore become necessary to gain attention by magnificence of
promises, and by eloquence sometimes sublime and sometimes pathetic.” He
then passes in review some of the most inflated puffs of that period,
and continues: “Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement.
I remember a washball that had a quality truly wonderful--it gave an
exquisite edge to the razor. And there are now to be sold, for ready
money only, some duvets for bed-coverings, of down, beyond comparison
superior to what is called ottar down, and indeed such, that its many
excellences cannot be here set forth. With one excellence we are made
acquainted--it is warmer than four or five blankets, and lighter than
one. There are some, however, that know the prejudice of mankind in
favour of modest sincerity. The vendor of the beautifying fluid sells a
lotion that repels pimples, washes away freckles, smooths the skin, and
plumps the flesh; and yet, with a generous abhorrence of ostentation,
confesses that it will not restore the bloom of fifteen to a lady of
fifty. The true pathos of advertisements must have sunk deep into the
heart of every man that remembers the zeal shown by the seller of the
anodyne necklace, for the ease and safety of poor toothing infants, and
the affection with which he warned every mother, that she would never
forgive herself if her infant should perish without a necklace. I cannot
but remark to the celebrated author, who gave, in his notifications of
the camel and dromedary, so many specimens of the genuine sublime, that
there is now arrived another subject yet more worthy of his pen--A
famous Mohawk Indian warrior, who took Dieskaw, the French general,
prisoner, dressed in the same manner with the native Indians when they
go to war, with his face and body painted, with his scalping knife,
tom-axe, and all other implements of war! A sight worthy the curiosity
of every true Briton! This is a very powerful description: but a critic
of great refinement would say that it conveys rather horror than terror.
An Indian, dressed as he goes to war, may bring company together; but if
he carries the scalping knife and tom-axe, there are many true Britons
that will never be persuaded to see him but through a grate. It has been
remarked by the severer judges, that the salutary sorrow of tragic
scenes is too soon effaced by the merriment of the epilogue: the same
inconvenience arises from the improper disposition of advertisements.
The noblest objects may be so associated as to be made ridiculous. The
camel and dromedary themselves might have lost much of their dignity
between the true flower of mustard and the original Daffy’s Elixir; and
I could not but feel some indignation when I found this illustrious
Indian warrior immediately succeeded by a fresh parcel of Dublin butter.
The trade of advertising is now so near to perfection, that it is not
easy to propose any improvement. But as every art ought to be exercised
in due subordination to the public good, I cannot but propose it as a
moral question to these masters of the public ear, Whether they do not
sometimes play too wantonly with our passions? as when the registrar of
lottery tickets invites us to his shop by an account of the prizes which
he sold last year; and whether the advertising controversists do not
indulge asperity of language without any adequate provocation? as in
the dispute about strops for razors, now happily subsided, and in the
altercation which at present subsists concerning Eau de Luce. In an
advertisement it is allowed to every man to speak well of himself, but I
know not why he should assume the privilege of censuring his neighbour.
He may proclaim his own virtue or skill, but ought not to exclude others
from the same pretensions. Every man that advertises his own excellence
should write with some consciousness of a character which dares to call
the attention of the public. He should remember that his name is to
stand in the same paper with those of the King of Prussia and the
Emperor of Germany, and endeavour to make himself worthy of such
association. Some regard is likewise to be paid to posterity. There are
men of diligence and curiosity who treasure up the papers of the day
merely because others neglect them, and in time they will be scarce.
When these collections shall be read in another century, how will
numberless contradictions be reconciled; and how shall fame be possibly
distributed among the tailors and bodice-makers of the present age?”
Judging by the advertisements which continued, the worthy advertisers of
1759 had a very poor opinion of men yet to come, and might have asked,
had they thought of it, with the Irish member, “What’s posterity ever
done for us?”--a query which would have puzzled even Dr Johnson.

The short-sleeved dresses of 1760 must have called for all kinds of
apparatus for whitening and beautifying the arms, and among many a
kindred and attractive advertisement of the time we take the following
from the _Chronicle_ of April 19-21:--

  _Gloves for Ladies._

  THE true prepared French Chicken and Dog-skin Gloves, for clearing and
  whitening the hands and arms, perfumed and plain. As some ladies have
  had but small confidence in these Gloves, till they have been
  prevailed upon to wear one Glove for eight or ten Nights, when they
  have evidently seen to their agreeable satisfaction that hand and arm
  brought to such a superior degree of whiteness over the other, as
  though they did not belong to the same Person.

  The above Gloves are prepared and sold only by Warren & Co.,
  Perfumers, at the Golden Fleece, in Marybone Street, Golden Square, at
  5s. a pair, who import, make and sell, all sorts of perfumery Goods,
  in the utmost perfection. The Violet-Cream Pomatum, and celebrated
  quintessence of Lavender, by no other person.

  ☞ Ladies sending their servants are humbly desired to send a Glove of
  the size.

  _N.B._--Just landed, a fine parcel of the famous _India_ Pearl.

  ⁂ The Queen’s Royal Marble, at 20s., and Chinese Imperial Wash ball,
  at 5s., that are so well known to the Nobility, &c. Ladies’ Masks and
  Tippets.

All this effort at decoration and beautifying is very wrong, but we are
stopped in our desire to “improve the occasion” by the recollection that
no age has been more deep in the mysteries of cosmetic, enamel, pearl
powder, and paint than our own, in which quacks abound, and old ladies
have been known to submit themselves to the operation of being made
beautiful, not for all time, but for ever. A little further on, in the
_Evening Post_, we come upon an ambitious author who has attempted to
regenerate the drama, and who advertises his work. Shakespeare seems
always to have been considered capable of improvement by somebody, but
as the mania for touching the immortal bard up, and making him
respectable and fit for the understandings of small tradesmen, still
goes on, and fortunes are made at it, we will give the following without
comment, lest some original author of the present day might think we
were obliquely alluding to him:--

  _In the press and shortly will be published_

  THE Students, a Comedy, altered from Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour Lost,
  and adapted to the stage, with an original Prologue and Epilogue.

  Printed for Thomas Hope, opposite the north gate of the Royal
  Exchange, Threadneedle St.

Deserters are plentiful about this period, our soldiers, however brave
they may have been when put to it, having an evident objection to the
pomp and circumstance of war. That was, perhaps, because their share of
the latter was unduly large as compared with their participation in the
former. The following is from _Lloyd’s Evening Post_ of April 26-28, and
is a fair specimen of the remainder:--

  _Deserted_

  FROM the 16th Regiment of Dragoons, Captain Walmesly’s troop,

  WILLIAM BEVEN,

  Aged 16 years, about five feet five inches high, stoops a good deal as
  he walks, and but very indifferently made; absented himself from his
  Quarters last Saturday night, the 17th instant; he says he was born in
  the parish of the _Hays_, in the County of Brecknockshire, and by
  trade a labourer; he went away with a light horse man’s cap, a coarse
  red frock faced with black, a striped flannel waistcoat, and a pair of
  leather breeches.

  Whoever apprehends and secures the above Deserter, so as he may be
  committed to any of His Majesty’s gaols, shall, by applying to George
  Ross, Esq., Agent to the regiment, in Conduit Street, London, receive
  twenty Shillings, over and above the reward given by Act of
  Parliament.

Those who are in the habit of expressing themselves as to the decadence
of the British soldier, and of the British human being generally, will
do well to ponder over this advertisement, and judge from it the
difference between the defenders of hearths and homes of then and now.
Yet, with all his want of size and possession of awkwardness, this same
youth, who would not nowadays be admitted into the worst regiment of
militia fallbacks in existence, is deemed worthy of an extra reward. So
much for “our army” in the middle of the eighteenth century.

  [33] This Act seems to have been forgotten, or capable of evasion, for
  a statute of the 7 & 8 Geo. IV., c. 29, s. 59, imposes a penalty on
  any person who shall advertise, or print, or publish an advertisement
  of a reward for the return of property stolen or lost, with words
  purporting that no questions shall be asked, or promising to
  pawnbrokers or others the return of money which may have been lent
  upon objects feloniously acquired.




CHAPTER X.

_THE EDUCATION COMPLETED._


So far, as has been shown, advertisements have had to struggle against
foreign war, internecine disorder, the poverty of the State, and many
other drawbacks; but by the commencement of the seventh decade of the
eighteenth century, these difficulties have all in turn been surmounted,
and the most modern means of obtaining publicity, despite prejudice,
and, still worse, taxation, is fixed firmly in the land, and doing much
towards the management of its affairs. The country is at peace with the
world, so far as Europe is concerned; and even the Canadian campaign is
as good as over. Clive has made himself felt and the name of England
feared throughout the length and breadth of India, and merchants are
beginning to reap the advantages of conquest. George III. has ascended
the throne, has been married and crowned, and looks forward to a long
and prosperous reign. In fact, everything seems bright and smiling, for
never, through many a long year, was the country so free from troubles
and anxieties, or with so little to direct her attention from those two
great essentials to English existence--profit and pleasure. And so, as
marked in the preceding chapter, advertisements of all kinds progressed
as the century became older; and when the ordinary style failed, dodges
of all kinds were adopted to give a factitious importance to
announcements, no matter whether of quacks, of publishers, or of the
infinite variety of other trades and professions which just now began to
be bitten by the fast-growing mania. Some of the sly puffs were of a
most specious order, and attention is called to one of them by the
indignation it evoked in the _Monthly Review_ (vol. xxvii. 1762). The
object of the puff paragraph had been an insipid panegyric on Lord
Halifax, called “The Minister of State,” which sacrificed on the altar
of Halifax the characters of all preceding premiers, from Burleigh to
Bute, and the attempt to force its sale evoked the wrath of the
_Review_, which commences as follows:--“As the practice of puffing is
now arrived at the utmost height of assurance, it will not be improper
for the Reviewers occasionally to mark some of the grosser instances
that may occur of this kind.” Thereupon it notices the “lying
paragraph,” to which we have already referred, the words within brackets
being the comments of the Reviewer:

  A noble Peer has absolutely given directions to his Solicitor to
  commence a Prosecution against the Author of the Poem called, _The
  Minister of State, a Satire_, as a most licentious and libellous
  composition.--The writer, no doubt, merits a severer censure of the
  Law than any of his brethren, because instead of employing those
  _great talents for poetry and satire for which he is so deservedly
  celebrated_ [what does he not deserve for his effrontery?] in the
  service of Virtue and his Country, he has _basely_ [basely enough!]
  prostituted them to the unworthy purpose of defaming, lampooning and
  abusing some of the greatest characters in this Kingdom. [All a puff
  to excite curiosity.] We think this LITERARY LUMINARY, of the age
  [this illiterate farthing candle!] should pay a greater deference to
  the words of his predecessor Mr Pope:

  “Curs’d be the verse, how smooth soe’er it flow,” etc.

  [We doubt, however, if any of this _honest_ gentleman’s readers will
  think his verses worth a curse, whatever they may think he deserves
  for his impudence.]

This energetic effort on the part of the _Review_ to prevent undue
reputations being made by disguised advertisements, had little effect in
checking an evil which flourishes unto this day--which will, in fact,
flourish as long as a majority exist ready to believe anything they are
told, and to be more than usually prompt with their credulity when what
they are told is more than usually wrong. The next notification we
select is from the _British Chronicle_ of January 4-6, 1762, and is of
a literary character also, though, judging by the motto adopted, the
work is more likely to produce melancholy than amusement:--

  This day are published, Price 1s.,

  THE Songs of Selma, attempted in English verse, from the original of
  Ossian, the son of Fingal. . . . . _Quis talia fando Tempenet a
  lacrymis?_. . . . Printed for R. Griffiths, opposite Somerset House in
  the Strand; C. Henderson, at the Royal Exchange; and G. Woodfall,
  Charing Cross.

How many books of this kind have been published, thrown aside, and
forgotten, or consigned to the pastrycook and trunkmaker, since the
“Songs of Selma” saw the light, is a question easier to ask than to
solve. One thing is, though, certain--the number of people who will
write, whether they have anything to say or not, increases every year,
and in due course we may expect an ingenious Chancellor of the Exchequer
to impose a tax on authors; which, after all, will hardly, so far as
brilliancy is concerned, be so destructive as the window-tax, or so
uncalled for as Mr Robert Lowe’s famous “ex luce lucellum” imposition. A
couple of weeks later, in the same paper (January 18-20), is the
following of a very different character from that which has been already
selected:--

  READING MACHINE

  IS removed from the Three Kings, Piccadilly, to the George Inn, Snow
  Hill, London; sets out from the _Broad Face, Reading_, every Monday,
  Wednesday, and Friday, at seven o’clock in the morning, and from the
  _George Inn, Snow Hill_, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, at
  seven o’clock in the morning; carries passengers to and from Reading
  at 6s. each, children in lap, and outside passengers at 3s.

  Performed by {THOMAS MOORE and
               {RICHARD MAPLETON.

  _N.B._--Takes no charge of Writings, Money, Watches, or Jewels, unless
  entered and paid for as such.

This machine was evidently a nondescript, partly slow coach, partly
waggon, and was extremely reasonable in its rates if it journeyed at any
pace, seeing that outside passengers paid no more than present
Parliamentary rates, while the insides had no occasion to complain of
excessive expenditure. But fancy the journey at seven o’clock on a
January morning, with the knowledge that no brisk motion would keep the
blood in circulation, that the roads were heavy, the weather
indifferent, the society worse, the conversation, if any, very heavy,
and the purse proportionally light! Such a company as Roderick Random
and Strap fell in with in the waggon, must often have been seen on the
outside of the Reading Machine. In the same paper of January 20-22, we
find the advertisement of a pamphlet issued for the gratification of a
morbid taste which has its representative nowadays--though, by the way,
there is more excuse for a little excitement over murder and execution
now than there was in the days when every week saw its batch of
criminals led forth to take their final dance upon nothing:--

  This day was published, price 1s.,

  SOME authentic particulars of the life of John Macnaghton, Esq., of
  Ben ----, who was executed in Ireland, on tuesday the 25th day of
  December, for the Murder of Miss Mary Anne Knox, the only daughter of
  Andrew Knox, Esq., of Prehen, representative in the late and present
  Parliament for the county of Donegal. With a full account of his
  pretended Connexion with the young Lady; of the measures he took to
  seize her person previous to the Murder; the circumstances of that
  fact; the manner of his being apprehended; and his conduct and
  behaviour from that time till his Death. Compiled from papers
  communicated by a gentleman in Ireland, to a person of distinction of
  that Kingdom now residing here.

  Printed for H. Payne & W. Croply, at Dryden’s Head in Paternoster Row.

John Macnaghton, Esq., was a real gentleman criminal, and though food
for the halter was plenty in 1762 and thereabouts, gentlemen were
“tucked up” still more rarely than within ordinary recollections; for
stern as was the law a hundred years ago, it had very merciful
consideration for persons of quality, and the hanging of a landed
proprietor for a mere paltry murder was a very noticeable event. In the
_London Gazette_ of February 23-27, we find a record of the coronation
of their illustrious and sacred Majesties, George and Charlotte, which
runs thus:--

  ALBEMARLE ST., _Feby. 26, 1762_.

  THE Gold Medals intended for the Peers and Peeresses who in their
  robes attended at the Coronation of their Majesties (according to a
  list obtained from the proper officers) will be delivered at the Earl
  of Powis’s house in Albemarle Street, on Wednesday and Thursday next,
  from ten to twelve o’clock each day.

  It is therefore desired that the Peers and Peeresses, as above
  mentioned, will send for their Medals; and that the persons who shall
  be sent for them shall bring Cards, signed by such Peers or Peeresses,
  as the Medals shall be required for, and sealed with their Arms.

In the same paper we come upon the advertisement of a book which is even
now read with interest, though the price at which a modern issue of it
is offered is ludicrously small compared with that of the original
edition:--

  THIS day is published, in small quarto, Price Thirty Shillings,
  Printed at Strawberry Hill, Anecdotes of Painting in England, with
  incidental Notes on other Arts. Collected by the late Mr George
  Vertue, and now first digested and published from his original
  Manuscripts. By Mr Horace Walpole. Vol. I. and II. With above forty
  Copper plates, four of which are taken from antient Paintings; the
  rest, heads of Artists, engraved by Grignion, Muller, Chambers, and
  Bannerman.

  To be had of W. Bathoe, Bookseller, in the Strand, near Exeter
  Exchange.

As we have no wish whatever to paint the lily, we will, although the
subject is a kindred one, leave Horace Walpole’s book without a fresh
criticism to add to the thousand and odd already passed upon it, and
will pass on to the land “where the men are all brave and the women all
beautiful,” and where, in _Faulkner’s Dublin Journal_, also of February
1762, we come upon the cry of a young man for his mother. In the
advertisement is the nucleus of a story quite equal to “Tom Jones,”
provided, of course, that its author possessed the fancy of a Fielding.
We are not aware of any literary gentleman who would succeed, though we
are acquainted with plenty who would most confidently make the attempt;
their only doubt, if doubt possessed them at all, being not in their own
powers, but in the discernment of the reading public. To them,
therefore, we present the groundwork of a story which would naturally
enlist the sympathies of England and Ireland. A little might also be
thrown in for the benefit of Scotland, which would hardly like to be
left out of so fascinating a romance:--

  WHEREAS a lady who called herself a native of Ireland was in England
  in the year 1740, and resided some time at a certain village near
  Bath, where she was delivered of a son, whom she left with a sum of
  money under the care of a person in the same parish, and promised to
  fetch him at a certain age, but has not since been heard of; now this
  is to desire the lady, if living, and this should be so fortunate as
  to be seen by her, to send a letter, directed to T. E. to be left at
  the Chapter Coffee house, St Paul’s Churchyard, London, wherein she is
  desired to give an account of herself, and her reasons for concealing
  this affair: or if the lady should be dead, and any person is privy to
  the affair, they are likewise desired to direct as above.--_N.B._ This
  advertisement is published by the person himself, not from motives of
  necessity, or to court any assistance (he being, by a series of happy
  circumstances, possessed of an easy and independent fortune) but with
  a real desire to know his origin.--_P.S._ The strictest secrecy may be
  depended on.

Foundlings seem to have been better off a hundred years ago than now,
for in all stories they come out very well, and in this present instance
T. E. seems to have been able to help himself. It is not unlikely,
however, that some sharp adventurer, knowing how weak is human nature,
had hit upon the expedient of attracting maternal sympathies--Bath was a
great place at that time for interesting invalids--with a view to a
system of extortion. This may, or may not be, and at this distance of
time it is useless to speculate. Accordingly we turn once more to the
_London Gazette_, and in a number for April 1762 find this:--

  THE following persons being fugitives for debt, and beyond the seas,
  on or before the twenty-fifth day of October, one thousand seven
  hundred and sixty, and having surrendered themselves to the Gaolers
  or Keepers of the respective Prisons or Gaols hereafter mentioned, do
  hereby give notice, that they intend to take the benefit of an Act of
  Parliament passed in the first year of the reign of His present
  Majesty King George the Third, intituled _An Act for relief of
  Insolvent Debtors_, at the next General or Quarter Sessions of the
  Peace, to be held in and for the County, Riding, Division, City, Town,
  Liberty or Place, or any adjournment thereof, which shall happen next
  after thirty days from the first Publication of the undermentioned
  names, viz.,

  James Colburn, late of Smith Street, in the parish of St James, in the
  county of Middlesex, Baker.

  Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of Whitechapel Prison, in the
  County of Middlesex.

  Second Notice.

  Charles Watkins, late of the Bankside, in the parish of St Saviour,
  Southwark, in the county of Surrey, Waterman.

  Fugitive surrendered to the Keeper of the Poultry Compter, in the City
  of London.

  Third Notice.

  James Buckley, formerly of Cock Alley, late of Star Alley, in the
  Parish of Aldgate, Lower Precinct, London, Cordwainer.

This is one of the first notices given of an intention to take the
benefit of an Act that was much wanted. The slowness of people to take
advantage of any boon, no matter how priceless, is here once again
shown, for there are but three claimants for redemption, two of whom had
been published before. By the middle of 1762 the Cock Lane ghost had had
its two years’ run and was discovered, and it must have been just about
the time of the trial of Parsons and his family--viz., in June--that the
following appeared in the _British Chronicle_:--

  This day is published, price 6d.

  A TRUE account of the several conversations between the supposed
  Apparition in Cock Lane, and the Gentlemen who attended. Together with
  the Death and Funeral of Mrs K----, and many other circumstances not
  made known to the World.

  Published for the conviction of the incredulous.

  “I would take the ghost’s word for a thousand pounds.”

  HAMLET.

  Printed for E. Cabe, at his Circulating library in Ave Marie lane; and
  to be had of all Pamphlet shops and News carriers.

It is hard to tell whether the writer is in favour of the ghost’s
existence or not from the advertisement, for while he in one breath
speaks of the supposed apparition, he immediately afterwards refers to
the incredulous, and quotes no less an authority than Shakespeare in
support of the imposition. Doubtless this was a trick to secure the
purchase-money, if not the support, of the partisans of both sides.
Next, in the same paper, we come upon a notice of the post-office in
reference to the foreign mails of that day, which runs thus:--

  GENERAL POST OFFICE, _Aug. 8, 1762_.

  PUBLIC Notice is hereby given to all persons corresponding with His
  Majesty’s island of Belleisle, that Letters for the future will be
  regularly forwarded from Plymouth to and from that Island, by two
  Vessels, lately hired and appointed for that purpose.

  By Order of the Postmaster-General,

  HENRY POTTS, _Secretary_.

The mail service across the Atlantic was somewhat different in 1762 from
what it is now, when a continuous stream of letters is every day poured
forth, either by way of Liverpool or by means of the later delivery at
Queenstown. Soldiers seem to have been shorter, too, not only in height
but in quantity, about this time, if the evidence of an advertisement of
January 1, 1763, is to be taken. We are still quoting from the _British
Chronicle_, and shall continue to do so until another journal is
named:--

  THE Royal Regiment of Horse Guards, commanded by the Right Honourable
  the Marquis of Granby, is willing to entertain any young Man under 23
  years of age, having a good Character, strait and well made, in height
  from five feet ten, to six feet one inch. Apply to Quarter Master
  _Campbell_, at the Market Coffee House, Mayfair.

From the same copy we take another notice, which shows that the
executors of Mr Ward not only considered it their duty to get rid of his
stock at the best possible advantage, but also to continue a defence of
the business which had been instituted by the late proprietor against
the attacks of an impostor. The reason they give for the republication
is curious, unless they fancied its omission would trouble the spirit of
the late compounder of drugs:--

  THE late Joshua Ward of Whitehall, Esq., having left very considerable
  quantities of his principal Medicines ready prepared, such and such
  only as may be applied for by name, will be delivered at his late
  dwelling-house in Whitehall.

  As not the least pretence is made by us, of having any judgment in the
  application of Medicine, we presume to say no more than that the
  specified orders shall be delivered with the utmost care and
  fidelity.--Ralph Ward, Thomas Ward, Executors.

  As the following was published by the late Mr Ward it is necessary to
  adjoin the same.--“Having seen in the public papers that a woman
  servant discharged from my service advertises herself as (late) my
  housekeeper and assistant in preparing my medicines. It is a justice I
  owe the public and myself, to declare, that this woman was hired and
  lived with me as, and at the wages of a common working servant,
  keeping no other. And as to what knowledge she may have in preparing
  my medicines, every living servant in my family, with the same
  propriety, may pretend to it, being all assistants to me by their
  manual labour. Signed--Joshua Ward.”

Soon after this, February 10-12, comes an announcement which must have
filled the lady readers of the _Chronicle_--for ladies ever loved
bargains--with anxiety and their husbands with terror. The last
paragraph shows that the warehouseman knew well how to bait his trap for
the unwary:--

  A REAL SALE OF SILKS

  AT the Coventry Cross, Chandos Street, Covent Garden. Consisting of a
  very great assortment of Rich brocades, Tissues, flowered and plain
  Sattins, Tabbies, Ducapes, black Armozeens, Rasdumores, Mantuas, &c.
  Being purchased of the executors of an eminent weaver and factor,
  deceased, and of another left off trade.

  Merchants, &c., may be supplied with rich Silks fit for exportation,
  fresh and fine patterns, greatly under prime cost, for ready money
  only, the price marked on each piece.

  It is hoped Ladies will not be offended that they cannot possibly be
  waited on at their own Houses.

Within a very short period, little more than a week, we come across an
advertisement which we admit fairly puzzles us. We are certainly far
more able to believe that the precious balsam does all that is promised
for it, than we are to understand the reason for its having but one
title. It runs thus:--

  WARHAM’S Apoplectic Balsam, so well known as an excellent remedy
  against Fits, Convulsions, &c., cures Deafness, bad Humours in the
  Eyes, inward Bruises, dissolves hard Lumps in the Breast, and has
  often cured Cancers, as can be proved by Facts; is a sovereign salve
  for green Wounds, Burns, &c. Is prepared and sold only by W. Strode,
  at the Golden Ball, Tottenham Court Road, London.

  Who also prepares and sells Warham’s Cephalick Snuff, of a most
  grateful smell, and an effectual remedy for giddiness, nervous pains
  in the Head, &c.

  Also Warham’s excellent Mouth water, which certainly cures the
  toothache, strengthens and preserves the Teeth, takes off all smells
  proceeding from bad Teeth, &c.

In a number for February 26 to March 1, 1764, there is an announcement
of one of those dinners without which no English charity ever has
succeeded, or, so long as English nature remains as it is, ever will
succeed without. It is noticeable for various reasons, and especially
for the notices of “Mr” Handel and the airing of the hall:--

  MAGDALEN HOUSE CHARITY.

  Prescot Street, Goodman’s Fields, Feb. 10, 1764.

  THE Anniversary Feast of the Governors of this Charity will be held on
  Thursday the 18th of March next, at Drapers-Hall, in Throgmorton
  Street, after a sermon to be preached at the Parish Church of St
  George, Hanover Square, before the Right Honourable the Earl of
  Hertford, President; the Vice-Presidents; Treasurer and Governor of
  this Charity; by the Rev. William Dodd, A.M., Chaplain to the Bishop
  of St David’s.

  Prayers will begin at eleven o’clock precisely, and Dinner will be on
  table at Three o’clock.

  Stewards.

  The Right Hon. Lord Viscount Spencer.
  The Right Hon. Lord Scarsdale.

  Joseph Martin, Esq.
  John Weyland, Esq.
  John Barker, Esq.
  John Eddows, Esq.
  John Smith, Esq.
  Jacob Wilkinson, Esq.
  John Lefevre, Esq.
  Jacob Bosanquet, Esq.

  _N.B._--A Te Deum, composed by Mr Handel for the late Duke of
  Chandos’s Chapel, with Jubilate and other Anthems, will be performed
  by Mr Beard, and a proper Band of the best performers, both vocal and
  instrumental.

  The Hall will be properly aired.

  Tickets for the Feast may be had at the following places, at five
  shillings each, viz., Mr Winterbottom’s, the Secretary, in Old Broad
  Street, and at the following Coffee-Houses; Arthur’s, in St James’s
  Street; Mount’s, Grosvenor Square; Tom’s, in Devereux Court;
  Richard’s, in Fleet Street; Tom’s, John’s, and Batoon’s, in Cornhill;
  and Waghorn’s, at the Court of Requests.

  Two ladies Tickets for the Church will be given
  with each Feast Ticket.

Mr Gibson, whose advertisement appears in the edition for April 5-7,
1764, would have been invaluable to Julia Pastrana and the Bearded Lady,
while his aid would have been equally in demand among those anxious to
cover themselves with the glory of hirsute appendages. Unfortunately for
him, moustaches and beards were not then in demand, nor was baldness so
noticeable as now; but the request for his beautifying paste doubtless
compensated him for other neglects:--

  A CARD TO THE LADIES.

  MR GIBSON’S Innocent Composition, so greatly admired for its wonderful
  effects, in removing by the Roots in half a minute, the most strong
  Hair growing in any part of the Head or Face, without the least hurt
  to the finest Skin of Ladies or Children; he sells this useful
  composition at 5s. an ounce, with such full directions that any Person
  may use it themselves.

  Also his curious Preparation for coaxing Hair to grow on bald Parts
  when worn off by illness, it being allowed by many who have tried many
  approved remedies, to fully answer the desired Purpose.

  Likewise his Beautifying Paste for the Face, Neck, and Hands, so well
  known to the Ladies for giving a true Enamel to the Skin; in pots at
  10s. 6d. In lesser pots at 5s. each. The above things to be had of him
  and nowhere else in England, next door to the Golden Star in Lower
  Cross Street, Hatton Garden, Holborn.--No less a quantity of the
  composition can be had than one Ounce, nor of the preparation or paste
  than one Pot.

  _N.B._--Gibson in gold Letters over the Door.

That the practice of inserting “dummy” advertisements for the purpose of
drawing others had been adopted before this, is shown by a caution
inserted in the _Public Advertiser_ of January 1, 1765, though why
theatrical managers should have objected to gratuitous publicity we
cannot understand. Misrepresentation of the title of a play to be
performed would rarely act detrimentally, while it would often be
beneficial. Managers of the present day never object to anything but
adverse criticism in a newspaper, and this affects them in various ways.
Critics may be as favourable as they like, but let them condemn a piece
and they raise a storm not easily allayed. The managerial feeling is
then shown at once. Sometimes the advertisement of the theatre is
summarily stopped, at others the usual first-night privilege is
suspended, and not rarely of late years letters have been written and
published showing how utterly biassed the criticism has been. But not
one of the whole theatrical fraternity ever objects to a gratuitous
advertisement. Even a man who comes on with a message likes it, though
he in common with all the outsiders of “the profession” affects to
despise criticism, and will, on the slightest provocation, speak about
well-known writers for the press in a most contemptuous manner. But here
is the advertisement:--

  THE Managers of Drury Lane think it proper to give notice that
  Advertisements of their Plays by their authority are published only in
  this Paper and the _Daily Courant_, and that the Publishers of all
  other Papers who presume to insert Advertisements of the same Plays,
  can do it only by some surreptitious intelligence or hearsay which
  frequently leads them to commit gross Errors, as mentioning one Play
  for another, falsely representing the Parts, etc. to the
  misinformation of the Town and the great detriment of the said
  Theatre.

As different in style as it is distant in date and place of publication
is the next item which attracts our attention. It looks suspiciously
like a hoax, for though other Newcastle papers of the time have been
rigorously searched, no news is discovered of Mrs Bell having shared the
fate which is said to overtake all who pry unduly into the secrets of
the Craft for the purpose of making capital out of their information.
The advertisement appears in the _Newcastle Courant_ of January 4, 1770,
and runs as follows:--

  THIS is to acquaint the Public, That on Monday the first instant,
  being the Lodge (or Monthly Meeting) night of the Free and Accepted
  Masons of the 22d Regiment, held at the Crown, near Newgate
  (Newcastle) Mrs Bell, the Landlady of the House, broke open a Door
  (with a Poker) that had not been opened for some Years past, by which
  means she got into an adjacent Room, made two Holes through the Wall,
  and by that stratagem discovered the secrets of Masonry; and she,
  knowing herself to be the first Woman in the World that ever found out
  the Secret, is willing to make it known to all her Sex. So any Lady
  who is desirous of learning the Secrets of Free Masonry, by applying
  to that well-learned Woman (Mrs Bell that lived 15 years in and about
  Newgate) may be instructed in all the Secrets of Masonry.

Coming back to London again, we find the following announcement
published in more papers than one. It is well worthy of perusal, as
giving a picture of the loneliness of Chelsea and its approaches a
hundred years ago, when it was a little outlying village, and when the
whole duty of a watchman was to evade by any and every means in his
power, contact with footpads, “high tobymen,” or burglars:--

  Chelsea, Middlesex, Feb. 20, 1770.

  THE Inhabitants of the Parish of Chelsea, being desirous to prevent,
  as far as in them lies, any Robberies or Felonies being committed in
  the said Parish, do hereby give Notice, that they have entered into a
  Subscription, for a Reward for the Discovery of Robberies or Felonies,
  and have therefore paid into the Hands of Mr Edward Anderson, of
  Chelsea aforesaid, as Treasurer, a Sum of Money to answer the several
  Purposes hereafter mentioned, to such Person or Persons who shall,
  during the Space of one whole Year from the Date hereof, apprehend or
  take any Offender or Offenders, as are herein after described, the
  several and respective Rewards hereafter mentioned, in fourteen Days
  after Conviction, over and above what such Person or Persons may be
  entitled unto by such Apprehending and Conviction by any Law now in
  Being.

  For every Robbery that shall be committed by any Highwayman or
  Highwaymen, Footpad or Footpads, within the said Parish (except that
  Part of the Parish and Road leading from London to Harrow on the Hill,
  which belongs to the said Parish), the Sum of Ten Pounds.

  For any Person or Persons who shall break into the Dwelling House of
  any Subscriber, or send any Incendiary Letter to any Subscriber, the
  Sum of Ten Pounds.

  For any Person or Persons who shall steal any Horse, Mare, Colt, or
  other Cattle, belonging to a Subscriber, or commit any Thefts or
  Robberies in any of their Outhouses, the Sum of Five Pounds.

  For every Theft or Robbery that shall be committed in any Garden,
  Garden-Grounds, or Fields, Orchard, Court Yard, Backside or
  Fish-ponds, or any Barge or Craft lying ashore, belonging to any of
  the Subscribers, or shall steal any of their Fruit, Poultry, Fish,
  Linen, Lead, Iron-Gates, or Gate-Hinges, Pales, or Fences, the Sum of
  Forty Shillings.

  And the Subscribers do hereby promise to pay and discharge the whole,
  or such Part of the Expence of such Prosecution or Prosecutions of the
  several Offences above-mentioned, as upon Application to any five or
  more of the Subscribers, at a Meeting called for that Purpose, shall
  judge reasonable.

  And for the farther Encouragement of all and every the Person and
  Persons who shall apprehend and convict any Offender or Offenders in
  any of the Offences aforesaid, the said Subscribers do hereby promise
  to use their Endeavours for procuring the speedy Payment of such
  Reward as such Person or Persons may be entitled to by any Law now in
  Being.

  And the said Subscribers do farther promise and agree, That if any
  Offenders shall, before his or her own Apprehension for any of the
  Offences aforesaid, voluntarily discover, or apprehend any of his or
  her Accomplices, so as he, she, or they, be convicted thereof, such
  Person so apprehending as aforesaid, shall be entitled to, and have
  such Reward or Sums of Money as before provided for apprehending and
  taking the said several Offenders as aforesaid, upon Conviction.

The popularity of the _Daily Courant_ and _Public Advertiser_ with the
managers of Drury Lane Theatre seems to have come to a sudden end in
1771, probably for the reasons we have noticed as affecting modern
managerial bosoms, for in the _Daily Post_ this appears:--

  TO prevent any Mistake in future in advertising the Plays and
  entertainments of Drury Lane Theatre, the Managers think it proper to
  declare that the Playbills are inserted by their direction in this
  Paper only.

The _St James’s Chronicle_ (a weekly paper which is still alive, and as
strong in its Toryism as ever), in July 1772, contains an advertisement
which for coolness and audacity is very noticeable, even at a time when
requests were put forth in the columns of the public press with most
unblushing effrontery:--

  WANTED immediately, Fifteen Hundred or Two Thousand Pounds by a person
  not worth a Groat, who having neither Houses, Lands, Annuities or
  public Funds, can offer no other Security than that of simple Bond,
  bearing simple interest and engaging the Repayment of the Sum borrowed
  in five, six or seven Years, as may be agreed upon by the Parties.
  Whoever this may suit (for it is hoped it will suit somebody) by
  directing a line to A. Z. in Rochester, shall be immediately replied
  to or waited on, as may appear necessary.

Benevolence must have been very strongly developed in any one who
acceded to the requests of A. Z. But that there was a deal of that
commodity afloat at the time of which we are writing, our next specimen,
one of disinterestedness and charity, shows. It is from the _Gazetteer_
of November 29, 1773:--

  A LADY of strict Honour and Benevolence, who lives in a genteel sphere
  of Life, influenced by a variety of critical Circumstances, offers her
  Service as an Advocate to Persons under the most intricate
  Circumstances, especially to those of her own Sex, whose Troubles she
  can with a secret Sympathy share, and who will point out certain Means
  of alleviating their Distress. The Advertiser has a Genteel House to
  accommodate such Persons, while their Affairs are settled. The
  greatest Delicacy, Discretion, and most Inviolable Secrecy may be
  depended on. Therefore to prevent being made the sport of Curiosity,
  the Advertiser is determined to answer such Letters only that appear
  explicit and satisfactory, with the Principal’s Name and Place of
  Abode. Please to address a line (post paid) for Mrs Gladen, at No. 5
  Church Row, Aldgate Church, Whitechapel.

Especially those of her own sex. It would be hard to discover what any
one of an opposite gender could want as resident with this nice old
lady, unless indeed he wished to put in practice the advice given to
Nicodemus. But, as for money this benevolent beldame would have done
anything, there is little doubt she had plenty of visitors of both
sexes. It does not do, however, to be too hard on Mrs Gladen, when it is
considered that she has many highly successful and extremely respectable
representatives of the present day. We therefore pass on to the latter
part of 1774, when it is evident, from a perusal of the advertisements
alone, that a general election is impending. In September we find this
in the _Morning Post_:--

  A GENTLEMAN of Character and considerable Fortune is extremely
  desirous of a HIGH HONOUR at an approaching Period. Any one who can
  assist him, or point out an eligible means of succeeding, shall be
  amply recompensed both at present and in future.--In short, name your
  Terms; secrecy is all required on his part. A Line to Mr Dormer, at
  No. 24 Ludgate Hill, will be attended to.

The _Morning Post_ seems to have been a particular medium for the
process by which legislators were made in the “good old days”--good
enough for the rich and unscrupulous, of course--for very shortly
afterwards many of the same kind appear. The following stipulates the
amount, and with true unselfishness recommends the candidate:--

  A GENTLEMAN of Honour, Character, and Fortune, who has £1,500 at his
  Bankers’, has some desire to obtain a Seat. A connection with him will
  do no discredit to any Man of Rank, or Body of Men. As he is serious,
  he expects no Application but from such as are so, to Q. at New
  Lloyd’s Coffee-house, Cornhill.

One who follows is much more generous, so far as money is concerned,
though he lacks the disinterested recommendation of Q. Still as money
and not mind is the desideratum among election agents, there is little
fear that the chances were in favour of W. W., though doubtless there
was room enough found at St Stephen’s for both. Room for two! room for
two hundred who had money with which to pave their way:--

  A GENTLEMAN of independent fortune is ready to give three Thousand
  Guineas to be accommodated with a certain purpose to answer the
  advertiser’s end at this Crisis. Any one inclined to treat about the
  above, may be further informed by Line, or otherwise, directed for W.
  W., at George’s Coffee-house, upper end of the Haymarket.

It must not be supposed that the advertisements in reference to the
elections emanated only from persons desirous of writing themselves down
M.P.’s. There were plenty anxious as well as willing to assist them for
a consideration. From many of that time we select one, still taking the
_Morning Post_ as our guide:--

  ANY Man of Fortune or Family wishing to enjoy an Honourable Station
  for seven Years, and to accomplish it without the anxiety which
  generally accompanies the attaining it by Contention, may probably be
  accommodated to the utmost of his Wishes, by addressing himself to C.
  C. to be left at the bar of the Chapter Coffee-house, Paternoster Row,
  and disclosing his Name, the which he may do without the risk of being
  divulged, as the advertiser pledges himself that the most inviolable
  Delicacy and Secrecy will be observed.

We commend the foregoing to the notice of the gentlemen who talk of
Conservatism as the bulwark of the nation, and rejoice over any
so-called political reaction. However, as Conservatism now means
“dishing the Whigs” by the most advanced measures, we can put up with
it, and so pass on to another specimen from the _Morning Post_, which is
published at the same time as the foregoing, and is found snugly
ensconced among those of quite a different tendency:--

  A YOUNG Gentleman of the most liberal education and a genteel Address,
  would be happy in having an opportunity of devoting his services to a
  Lady of real fashion and fortune, who may wish to have some particular
  deficiencies thoroughly supplied, without subjecting herself to any
  disagreeable restraint. Any lady to whom such an offer may be
  suitable, will receive the fullest Explanation, in answer to a letter
  addressed to A. X. Turk’s head Coffee House, Strand.

We will leave this without further comment than the expression of a sad
idea that this young gentleman knew what was marketable, as well as a
belief that he and others like him may have done much to prevent the
titles and fortunes of noblemen and gentlemen who married late in life
from passing to remote branches. We have no wish to intrude our
opinions, which are strong as our faith in human nature is weak, but the
advertisement is only a specimen of many others, and, like its
congeners, appears in one of the highest class daily papers of the time.
Folk are not so outspoken now as was the fashion a hundred years ago,
yet is there any one who will venture to state that we are more
virtuous? It will be the natural impulse of many who read the next
advertisement, which is also from the now fashionable and severely
virtuous _Post_ (date January 21, 1775), to cry out against the
unnatural guardian who offers to sell his ward. Perhaps though, if they
take time to reflect, they may remember instances of marriage for money,
which, if not so public, were quite as iniquitous. Listen to a gentleman
of honour of the last century:--

  A GENTLEMAN of Honour and Property, having in his disposal at present
  a young Lady of good Family, with a fortune of Sixty Thousand Pounds,
  on her Marriage with his approbation, would be very happy to treat
  with a Man of Fashion and Family, who may think it worth his while to
  give the Advertiser a Gratuity of Five thousand pounds on the day of
  Marriage. As this is no common advertisement, it is expected no
  Gentleman will apply whose Family and Connections will not bear the
  strictest enquiry. The Advertiser having always lived retired from the
  World, immersed in business, is unacquainted with those of that Rank
  of Life that the Lady’s fortune entitles her to be connected with,
  for which reason he has made this public application. Letters
  addressed to L. M., at Tom’s Coffee House, Devereux Court, near the
  Temple, mentioning real Name, and places of Abode, will punctually be
  attended to.

This is not so bad for a poor innocent who has lived retired from the
world. And doubtless, though he was unacquainted with those of that rank
of life to which a lady with sixty thousand pounds might well aspire, he
was not to be deceived by even the most specious of fortune-hunters,
Irishmen included. But here is another notice quite as interesting,
though of a very different kind. It is also from the _Morning Post_, and
appears a few days after that we have chosen to precede it:--

  To the LADIES on MONEY AFFAIRS.

  WHEREAS there are Sundry Ladies Who Have Two, Three, Or Four thousand
  pounds, or even more Money at their command, and who, from not knowing
  how to dispose of the same to the greatest advantage, but by living on
  the Small Interests which the stocks produce, afford them but a scanty
  Maintenance, especially to those who have been accustomed to
  Affluence, and would wish to live so still; the Advertiser (who is a
  Gentleman of independent Fortune, strict Honour and Character, and
  above any other reward than the pleasure of serving the Sex) acquaints
  such Ladies, that if they will favour him with their Name and Address,
  so as he may wait on them as opportunity best suits, he will put them
  into a Method by which they may, without any Trouble, and with an
  absolute Certainty, place out their Money, so as for it to produce
  them a clear and lawful interest of Ten or Twelve per cent, and that
  too on equally as good and safe Securities as if in the Funds, or on
  Mortgage at the common low interest, etc.

  Please to direct to R. J. Esq. at the Turks Head Coffee house,
  opposite Catharine Street, in the Strand, and the same will be duly
  attended to.

There was no Associate Institute then to look after the interests of
unprotected females; and perhaps if there had been, so plausible a rogue
would not have attracted the attention of its highly paid officials. But
the “weaker vessels” seem able to take their own parts at advertising,
for the following is by no means a unique specimen of their effusions.
Once again we draw from the _Morning Post_, the date being December 15,
1775:--

  A LADY wishes to borrow One Hundred Pounds. The Security, though
  personal, may probably be very agreeable to a single Gentleman of
  spirit. Every particular will be communicated with Candour and
  Sincerity, where confidence is so far reposed as to give the real Name
  and Address of the party willing to oblige the Advertiser. Gentlemen
  of real Fortune and liberal Sentiments, and those only, are requested
  to address a line to Y. N. at Mr Dyke’s, Cross Street, Long-Acre.

This lady was modest as well as candid and sincere; it is to be hoped
she was pretty also, or else she had small chance. But now comes not
virtue but honours in distress, and sufficiently hungry to be satisfied
with very dirty pudding. In our own times baronets have seen
unpleasantnesses; we remember one who used to do casual reporting,
fires, accidents, coroners’ inquests, &c., and another who took to the
stage, unsuccessfully. But he who advertised in the _Daily Advertiser_
of January 23, 1776, was worse off than any titled successor. Judge for
yourselves:--

  MATRIMONY.

  For Fifty Pounds only, may gain One Hundred and Forty Thousand.

  A BARONET of Great Britain, that has an eligible chance and right in
  thirteen distinct Claims to speedily recover the above Sum, or to
  expect part by a Compromise, inforced by a very little Assistance,
  will marry any Woman, though with Child, or having Children by a
  former Husband, that will put such a Fifty-pound ticket in such
  Lottery; the remainder of her Money, if any, will be settled upon her;
  his person may not be objected to, and her Attorney may liberally
  inspect Writings, &c. which in form set forth his expectancies
  perspicuously; and any young Counsel or others may gain an Advantage,
  even a Fortune, by offering a small benevolent Assistance. Direct for
  the Baronet, at No. 2, near Blenheim Steps, in Oxford St., opposite
  Oxford Market, who has also a profession that may be made very
  advantageous for any new Adventurer in the physical way, that has a
  little money to join with him as a Partner. A patient hearing will
  obviate all Objection, and the strictest Secrecy and Honour may be
  depended on.

It is noticeable that “the Baronet,” like those of his rank already
referred to, was not above turning his hand to earn an honest penny. A
little way back we invited the attention of Conservatives to an edifying
extract; may we now dedicate the baronet’s appeal to those who would
abolish the laws of primogeniture? Let them be advised in time, unless
they should wish to see a duke reduced to despondency, or an earl
holding horses for his living. No matter what happens to younger sons.
Let them and their younger sons be swallowed up in the middle and lower
classes, as they are now, though nobody seems to notice it; but let us
preserve, no matter who else suffers, our titled aristocracy in its
present exalted position. But what is to become of the scions of
nobility who have no claim upon landed estate, when nepotism ceases to
exist, sinecures are abolished, and all Government clerkships are matter
of open competition! Frankly we do not know, but doubtless Providence
will always be tenderly disposed towards persons of good family. Turning
once more to the _Morning Post_ (February 15, 1776), we come upon an
announcement the merits of which are hard to determine. It promises
rather too much:--

  FEMALE COMPANION.

  A LADY of independent Fortune and liberal Sentiments would be glad if,
  in procuring to herself an agreeable Companion she could at the same
  time relieve from Distress, and perhaps prevent from utter Ruin, some
  still deserving although unfortunate fair one; for she can make
  allowance for the frailty of her own Sex, and knows the base arts of
  the other; in a word, a _single_ _faux pas_ will be no objection,
  provided there remain a virtuous Disposition, and that the person
  wanted be good-natured, affable, and sincere in the account she may
  give of herself, which for that purpose may at first be anonymous. She
  must also possess the usual accomplishments required by a good
  Education; know something of Music, have an agreeable Voice, and a
  genteel Person, not under twenty nor above the age of twenty-five
  years. Such as come within this description may apply by letter to B.
  D. at the York Coffee House, St James’s Street, and the apparently
  most deserving will be enquired after. No kept Mistress or lady of
  Pleasure need apply.

There seems more of the procuress than the patron about this; still
there is no knowing what the taste of an elderly single lady who fancied
herself injured by the opposite sex would not lead her to do. So leaving
the question open, and trusting the reader will be able to satisfy
himself as to the purity or the reverse of the advertiser’s motives, we
will pass on to _Lloyd’s Evening Post_, in which, about the same time,
we find the following, which is worthy of notice:--

  MONEY wanted--when it can be procured--£100. No security can be given
  for the _Principal_, and possibly the _Interest_ may not be punctually
  paid. Under the above circumstances should any one be found willing to
  lend the desired Sum, he will much _surprise_, and particularly
  _oblige_ the author of this advertisement.--Direct for A. B. C.
  George’s Coffeehouse, Haymarket.

Even the “author” of this, confident and assured as he must be
generally, seems to doubt the readiness of people to part with their
money without some inducement, no matter how slight. If A. B. C. had
offered something impossible of fulfilment in return for the desired
loan, he would very likely have had many applications, whereas it would
be hard to believe that in the present instance he had even one. Now, if
he had adopted a plan similar to that which is advertised in the
_Morning Chronicle_ of April 9, 1776, he would have had a much better
chance of raising the wind. This must have arrested the attention and
diverted the current of pocket-money of many young lovers:--

  AFFECTION.

  ANY Lady or Gentleman who has made an honourable Connection, may be
  acquainted if the other party has a reciprocal Affection; and so nice
  is the method, that it gives in a great measure the degree of esteem.
  No fortune-telling, nor anything trifling in it, but is a serious and
  sincere Procedure. To divest any apprehension of discovery of parties,
  the initials of their names is sufficient. That the meaning of the
  advertiser may be ascertained, it is only asked for A. B. to know if
  C. D. has a genuine affection; and of C. D. if A. B. has the like. It
  is requested that honest Initials be sent, else the deposit of two
  shillings and sixpence is useless. But to convince those that send for
  the intelligence of the use of this, they need only to send with the
  real, other Initials indifferent to them, and they will be satisfied.
  Absence or distance does not abate the certainty of the then present
  Esteem and Affection.

  Letters (free) directed to S. J., No. 11, Duke-street, Grosvenor
  Square, will have honest answers left there, or sent conformable to
  the address, in a day or two after their Receipt.

The next advertisement we find in our collection savours less of
affection, for the desire of the inserter seems to be to prevent some
one to whom he has an objection inheriting entailed estates. It has its
value, in addition to what consideration may be given to it as a
specimen of the manners of the last century, as showing the kind of
people who then made the laws. Decency must have made a decided advance,
look at it from what point we will, since April 16, 1776, when this
appeared in the _Public Advertiser_:--

  A GENTLEMAN who hath filled two succeeding seats in Parliament, is
  near sixty years of age, lives in great splendour and hospitality, and
  from whom a considerable Estate must pass if he dies without issue,
  hath no objection to marry any Widow or single Lady, provided the
  party be of genteel birth, polite manners, and five, six, seven, or
  eight Months gone in her Pregnancy.

  Letters directed to ---- Brecknock, Esq., at Will’s Coffee House,
  facing the Admiralty, will be honoured with due attention, secrecy,
  and every possible mark of respect.

In the _Daily Advertiser_ of July, in the same year, we find the
following, which, though of a much more legitimate character than that
just quoted, and directed to the interests of fair and honest trading,
will repay perusal:--

  TWO Men beg leave to acquaint the Public in general that they keep the
  cleanest Barber’s Shop in all London, where the people can have their
  Hair cut for 2d., dressed for 3d., and be shaved for 1d. One of these
  Men can bleed and draw teeth very well; he bleeds both in the English
  and German manner, as well at home as abroad, and is exceeding
  careful. Bleeding 3d., drawing teeth 4d. There is a parlour made in
  the shop on purpose for bleeding and drawing teeth. The people may
  depend on being served immediately and well in every respect. No
  satisfaction, no pay. The above-mentioned Shop is at No. 7 King
  Street, Seven Dials.

Bleeding nowadays is still done by barbers, though not in the same way,
nor so scientifically, as practised by the two clean shopkeepers of King
Street. Shaving as a high art is neglected nowadays, a state of affairs
traceable to the beard and moustache movement of the last twenty years,
which has rendered shaving below the attention of true artists, who now
give their attention to “cutting and curling,” &c. Any one who doubts
this had better trust himself to the untender mercies of half-a-dozen
different barbers, in ordinary thoroughfares, and where the prices are
fixed at ordinary rates. Before he has tried the sixth establishment he
will not only have conformed to our views, but will be a considerably
altered, if not an improved, man. In the _Morning Post_ of October 13,
1778, we come across an appeal to the short-sighted, which is worthy of
the tribes of welchers who in our own times have made large fortunes
through advertising in the columns of the sporting papers. This must
have been something like the “discretionary investment” dodge, which
brought in large sums to swindling firms who professed to govern the
turf a few years back, and whose advertisements occupied whole columns
in the newspapers:--

  A SERIOUS though SURPRISING OFFER.

  FOR the compliment of One Hundred Guineas, any enterprizing Gentleman
  or Lady may have revealed to them an eligible method of converting
  hundreds into Thousands, in a few weeks, and of continuing so to do
  yearly. The requiring so inadequate a consideration, is because the
  proposer is under misfortunes. Only letters with real names and
  residencies will be regarded. Direct for W. W., at the King’s Bench
  Coffee-House.

In the early part of 1778 (May 7) the _Morning Post_ contained the
following appeal for an article which has been scarce ever since the
world began, which is not valued much when possessed, and which is about
the last thing one could hope to obtain through the medium of an
advertisement, no matter how cunningly contrived, nor how great the
circulation of the paper in which it appeared:--

  WANTED immediately, the most difficult thing to be met with in the
  world, A SINCERE FRIEND, by a person, who, though in the meridian of
  life, has outlived all he had. He wishes to meet with a Person in whom
  he may repose the most implicit Confidence; a Person who has a good
  heart, and abilities to second that goodness of heart; who will give
  his advice cordially, and assistance readily. The advertiser is a
  person in a genteel situation of life; has a decent income, but is at
  present so circumstanced as to want a sincere friend.--Any Person
  willing (from principles of Friendship, not Curiosity) to reply to the
  above, by directing a line to T. S., at Mr Sharp’s, stationer, facing
  Somerset House, Strand, will be immediately waited on or properly
  replied to.

Money, the sincerest of all friends, is probably the object of T. S.’s
ambition. If he was not suited in the year ’78, an opportunity occurred
soon after; for specially directed to the cupidity of persons who desire
to get money, and are not at all particular what the means so long as
the end is attained, is the following, which appears in the _Morning
Post_ of March 1779:--

  A GENTLEMAN of Fortune, whom Family reasons oblige to drop a
  connection which has for some time subsisted between him and an
  agreeable young Lady, will give a considerable sum of Money with her
  to any Gentleman, or person in genteel Business, who has good sense
  and resolution to despise the censures of the World, and will enter
  with her into the Holy state of Matrimony. Letters addressed to Mr G.
  H., at the Cecil Street Coffee-House, will be paid due attention to.

As this kind of arrangement has not yet fallen into desuetude, although
the aid of advertisements is no longer invoked for it, we had better not
give an opinion about its morality, though it is but fair to admit that
if the system of selling soiled goods, of which the foregoing is an
example, had but been out of date, we should have been loud in our
objections. For no vice is so bad as one that has exploded, and the
weaknesses which we can regard with complacency while they are current,
cause strong emotions of disgust when, their day being over, we look
back upon them, and wonder how people could have been so extremely
wicked. About the same time, and in the same paper, is another
application of a peculiar nature, though in this instance the advertiser
wishes not to part with, but to obtain a similar commodity to that
advertised by G. H. This is it:--

  A SINGLE Gentleman of Fortune, who lives in a genteel private style,
  is desirous of meeting with an agreeable genteel young Lady, of from
  20 to 30 years of age, not older, to superintend and take upon her the
  management of his House and Servants, for which she will be
  complimented with board, &c. As the situation will be quite genteel,
  it will not suit any but such who has had a liberal Education, and who
  has some independance of her own, so as to enable her always to appear
  very genteel, and as a relation or particular friend, in which
  character she will always be esteemed, and have every respect paid
  her, so as to render the situation and every thing else as agreeable
  as possible.

  Any lady inclining to the above, will please to direct with name and
  address, to M. H., Esq., to be left at No. 7, the Bookseller’s, in
  Great Newport Street, near St Martin’s Lane; she will be waited on, or
  wrote to, but with the greatest delicacy, and every degree of strict
  honour and secrecy.

Strict honour and secrecy seems to be an essential to the successful
completion of the designs of many advertisers of this time, but they are
to be all on one side, in company with an amount of blind credulity
which would be wonderful if it were not repeatedly exhibited in modern
days. Here is an honourable and secret venture which appears in the
_Morning Post_ of December 17, 1779, and which was doubtless very
successful:--

  A GENTLEMAN who knows a Method which reduces it almost to a certainty
  to obtain a very considerable sum, by insuring of Numbers in the
  Lottery, is advised by his Friends to offer to communicate it to
  those who wish to speculate in that Way. The advantage that is
  procured by proceeding according to his Principles and Directions,
  will be plainly demonstrated and made perfectly evident to any who
  chuses to be informed of it. The terms are Ten Guineas each person,
  and they must engage not to discover the plan for the space of
  eighteen months. If those who are willing to agree to the above terms
  will be pleased to address a line to J. R. C. at the Union
  Coffee-House, Cornhill, or the York Coffee House, St James’s Street,
  they will be immediately informed where to apply. Those who have lost
  money already (by laying it out improperly) insuring of Numbers, may
  soon be convinced how much it will be to their advantage to apply as
  above.

  _N.B._--This advertisement will be inserted in this morning’s Paper
  only.

A suspicious person would have fancied that the friends of J. R. C.,
unless they were dissimilar from other friends, would have used the
information for their own benefit--but generous and self-abnegating
people do turn up in history in the most unexpected and unaccountable
ways. Another specimen of the secret and honourable kind, though in it
the secrecy and honour have to be on the side of the advertiser,
follows. It is in the _Morning Post_, April 18, 1780, and runs thus:--

  ANY Lady whose Situation may require a Temporary Retirement, may be
  accommodated agreeable to her wishes in the house of a Gentleman of
  eminence in the Profession, where honour and secrecy may be depended
  on, and where every vestige of Pregnancy is obliterated; or any Lady
  who wishes to become Pregnant may have the causes of sterility removed
  in the safest manner. Letters (Post-paid) addressed to A. B. No. 23,
  Fleet Street, will be attended to.

A. B. offers a double convenience, the second item in which is well
worthy of note. The house must have been somewhat similar, except that
the accommodation was for human beings, to those establishments
advertisements in connection with which frequently appear in the
sporting and agricultural papers. Much about the same date as the
specimen just quoted appears another of quite a different kind, inserted
in several journals. It is rather unique as a way of reminding
customers that life is short and debt is long, and is suspiciously
sartorial:--

  TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

  RICHARD Guy returns thanks to all his good old Friends for their kind
  Recommendation, which he will always acknowledge with gratitude, by
  being ready to oblige them on all occasions, but earnestly desires to
  settle Accounts, to pay and to be paid; which he hopes will be of
  satisfaction to both parties; for as it is fully observed, short
  Reckonings keep long Friends; so to preserve good friendship and
  prevent disputes in Accompts, he always pays ready Money, that is
  doing as he would be done unto.

  N.B.--He courts neither Honour nor Riches, his whole and sole motive
  being to serve his good old Friends; the sin of Ingratitude he utterly
  abhors.

The shameless manner in which sinecures in Government offices were
bought and sold even so late as 1781 is shown by the following specimen
advertisement, which is taken from the _Morning Herald_ of September
22:--

  A GENTLEMAN of Character who wishes for some Employ under Government
  merely for the sake of Amusement, would be willing to advance any
  Nobleman or Gentleman the sum of Three Thousand Pounds, upon Mortgage,
  upon legal Interest, provided the Mortgager will, thro’ his Interest,
  procure a place in any genteel Department, where the emoluments are
  not less than two or three hundred Pounds _per annum_. The Advertiser
  flatters himself this will not be deemed an ineligible Offer, if
  compared with the present mode of raising Money upon Annuities; as a
  gentleman must be obliged to grant five hundred _per annum_ out of his
  income to raise the like Sum. If any Gentleman who may be inclined to
  answer this Advertisement does not know of any Vacancy, the Advertiser
  will point out several, which may be easily procured by interest. A
  line addressed to S. X. to be left at the bar of the Chapter
  Coffee-house, St Paul’s, will be attended to. Secrecy may be depended
  on. No Broker will be treated with.

Those were happy times, indeed, when no such vulgar thing as merit was
allowed to interfere with a man’s upward progress in life, provided he
possessed capital, which could always secure him good interest in more
ways than one. Money was at full value then, and the following, from
the _Morning Post_ of October 18, 1781, is one among many endeavours to
obtain it in larger or smaller quantities:--

  WANTED immediately, or as soon as can be met with, that invaluable
  acquisition (when once gained) A SINCERE Friend, by a person who in
  the early part of his life had many; but who, from the all-powerful
  hand of Death and other fortuitous incidents, has been deprived of all
  those whom he could once call by that sacred Name, and to whom he
  could apply either for Counsel or Assistance. The author of this
  Advertisement is a Middle-aged man, in a genteel situation of Life, a
  Housekeeper, has a decent Income, but yet, is so circumstanced as to
  have a particular occasion for FIFTY OR SIXTY Pounds, for a Year and a
  half or thereabouts. He wishes therefore to meet with a Person of
  liberal and generous Sentiments, who would assist him with the above
  trifling Sum. He flatters himself he can make the mode of payment
  quite agreeable to any Gentleman, Lady, or Tradesman of credit, who
  may be induced to answer this advertisement from a motive arising from
  the secret satisfaction there is in rendering a Service.--A line
  directed for S. E., and left at the Morning Post Office, will be
  immediately attended to.

In 1785 was established the _Daily Universal Register_, a paper which
was, under a new title, adopted in 1788, to develop into the greatest
and most powerful organ in the world. On the 1st of January, in the
last-named year, the _Register_ appeared with the following heading:
_The Times, or Daily Universal Register, printed Logographically_. The
price was threepence, and for many years the _Times_ gave no promise of
future greatness; but it was always fearless, and very early was fined,
while its editor narrowly escaped imprisonment. In 1790 Mr Walter was
actually incarcerated in Newgate, where he remained sixteen months,
besides being fined £200, for a libel on the Dukes of York and Clarence.
He was released eventually at the intercession of the Prince of Wales.
The history of the _Times_ has been told so often that particulars are
hardly needed here; but as showing how its present eminence is due to
nothing but perseverance and integrity, as well as the everpresent
desire to be first wherever possible, we quote the following from a
short notice of the life of one of its proprietors: “It was under John
Walter II., born in 1784, that the _Times_ rose to the place of the
first newspaper in the world. Whilst yet a youth, in 1803 he became
joint proprietor and sole manager of the _Times_, and very soon his hand
became manifest in the vigour and independence of its politics, and the
freshness of its news. Free speech, however, had its penalties. The
_Times_ denounced the malpractices of Lord Melville, and the Government
revenged itself by withdrawing from the Walters the office of printers
to the Customs, which had been held by the family for eighteen years.
During the war between Napoleon and Austria in 1805, the desire for news
was intense. To thwart the _Times_ the packets for Walter were stopped
at the outports, while those for the ministerial journals were hurried
to London. Complaint was made, and the reply was given that the editor
might receive his foreign papers as a _favour_; meaning thereby that if
the Government was gracious to the _Times_, the _Times_ should be
gracious to the Government; but Walter would accept no favour on such
terms. Thrown on his own resources, he contrived, by means of superior
activity and stratagem, to surpass the ministry in early intelligence of
events. The capitulation of Flushing in August 1809, was announced by
the _Times_ two days before the news had arrived through any other
channel. In the editorship of the paper he spared neither pains nor
expense. The best writers were employed, and wherever a correspondent or
a reporter displayed marked ability, he was carefully looked after and
his faculty utilised. Correspondents were posted in every great city in
the world, and well-qualified reporters were despatched to every scene
of public interest. The debates in Parliament, law proceedings, public
meetings, and commercial affairs, were all reported with a fulness and
accuracy which filled readers with wonder. What a visionary could
scarcely dare to ask, the _Times_ gave. To other journals imitation
alone was left. They might be more consistent politicians, but in the
staple of a newspaper, to be nearly as good as the _Times_ was their
highest praise.”

[Illustration:

  THE TIMES

  [Illustration: OR·DAILY·UNIVERSAL·REGISTER

  PRINTED LOGOGRAPHICALLY]

  NUMB. 940.

  TUESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1788.

  (Price Three-pence.)

  ^Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.^

  By his MAJESTY’S COMPANY,
  THIS EVENING,
  Will be presented the Tragedy of

  _JULIA,_
  OR, THE ITALIAN LOVER.

  The principal Characters by
  Mr. KEMBLE and Mrs. SIDDONS.

  The Prologue to be spoken by Mr. Kemble;
  And the Epilogue by Mrs. Siddons.
  With New Dresses, Decorations, &c.

  To which will be added
  The DESERTER
  Henry, Mr. KELLY, Skirmish, Mr. BANNISTER, jun.
  And Louisa, by Mrs. CROUCH.

  To-morrow (by Desire) The Wonder, with, the 6th time, Harlequin, Jun.
  On Thursday, the tragedy of Percy; Elwina, Mrs. Siddons.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _BY COMMAND OF HIS MAJESTY,_

  And under the same DIRECTORS as the CONCERT
  of ANTIENT MUSIC.

  THE Oratorios of SOLOMON, ALEXANDER’S FEAST, with the CHOICE OF
  HERCULES; JOSEPH; ACIS and GALATEA, with DRYDEN’S ODE; ESTHER; and
  MESSIAH, will be performed on the six FRIDAYS in LENT, at the CONCERT
  ROOM in TOTTENHAM STREET.

  Subscriptions taken at Messrs. Longman and Broderip’s Music Shops in
  the Haymarket and Cheapside, and at Mr. Ashley’s, No. 4, Pimlico, at
  Three Guineas each, the Tickets NOT transferable.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _ROYALTY THEATRE,_

  WELL STREET, NEAR GOODMAN’S FIELDS

  THIS EVENING,
  AN OCCASIONAL ADDRESS.
  BY MR. PALMER,
  In the Character of Christmas.
  A Musical Entertainment called
  THOMAS and SUSAN; Or,
  The GENEROUS TAR
  For the 3rd time, a New Pantomimic Entertainment,
  called
  The DESERTER of NAPLES;
  Or, ROYAL CLEMENCY.
  Under the Direction of MR. DELPINI.
  The Airs, Duets, and Choruses composed by Mr. REEVE.
  The DESERTER by MR. PALMER.
  The other Characters by
  Mr. W Palmer, Mr. Cooper, Mr. L’Estrange, Mr. Hudson,
  and Mr. DELPINI.
  Mrs. Delpini, Madems. Bitthemer, and Mrs. GIBBS.
  End of the First Part, a Grand Representation of
  MOUNT VESUVIUS at the Time of the Eruption, with
  the Flowing of the Lava.
  The Dances by Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and Mad.
  Constance; composed by M. MALTER.
  A SONG by Master BRAHAM.
  The Whole to conclude with (37th time) a new Pantomimic
  Entertainment, called
  HARLEQUIN . MUNGO;
  OR, A PEEP INTO THE TOWER.
  Harlequin, Mr. RAYNER, Jun.
  Mungo Harlequin, Mr. BOURKE,
  Pantaloon, Mr. FOLLETT, Sen.
  Keeper of Wild Beasts and Warder of the Tower
  (with a Chaunt), Mr. GRACE.
  Captain, Sailor, and first waterman (with Songs),
  Mr. ARROWSMITH.
  Clown, Mr. FOLLETT, Jun.
  Planter’s Wife, Mrs. BURNETT,
  And, Columbine, Mrs. GIBBS.
  In Part First a Dance of Slaves by Messrs. Hollands,
  Bourke, Menage, &c.
  To Conclude with a grand Ballet,
  by Mons. Malter, Mr. Holland, Mad. Bitthemer, and
  Mademoiselle Constance.
  Boxes, 5s; Pit, 3s; First Gall., 2s; Second Gall., 1s.

  Places for the Boxes to be taken of Mr. Clark, at the Stage Door of
  the Theatre.

  The Doors to be opened for the future at half-past Five, and to begin
  precisely at half-past Six o’clock.

  °⸸° No Money will be returned after the Curtain is drawn up, nor will
  any person be admitted behind the scenes.

  Vivant Rex & Regina.

  N.B. Nothing under . . . . will be taken.

       *       *       *       *       *

  TO BE LETT, OR SOLD.

  EXTENSIVE Premises in the Neighbourhood
  of Cheapside.

  Apply at No. 9, Cheapside.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _A CAUTION to prevent IMPOSITION.
  SHARP’S CONCAVE RAZORS_

  Are made of the very best steel that can be possibly procured in this
  or any other country, tempered, and finished with the greatest nicety
  and circumspection. Their superior excellence above all others has
  made then more esteemed than any Razor now in use; the consequence of
  which is that some persons have offered, and still do offer, an
  inferior article under their name.

  C. SHARP, Perfumer and Razor Maker to his Royal Highness the Prince of
  Wales, at No. 131, Fleet Street, and No. 57, Cornhill,

  Most respectfully intreats the public to observe that his Concave
  Razors are not sold at any other places in London, but at his shops as
  above, Sharp stamped on the blade of the Razors; all others are
  counterfeit.

  Sharp’s Metallic Razor Strops, which keep the Razor to good order,
  without the use of a Hone or grinding, are not to be equalled; but the
  above articles are too well esteemed to need anything being said in
  their behalf. His Alpine Soap, for shaving, is by far the best adapted
  for that purpose of any yet invented; it never causes the least
  smarting sensation, but is perfectly soft, sweet, and pleasing.
  Likewise his curious Cyprian Wash balls, great variety of shaving
  cases and pouches, that hold all the implements necessary for shaving,
  dressing, &c.

  Sharp’s sweet hard and soft pomatums, are remarkable for keeping good
  in any climate longer than any other. His Lavender Water, drawn from
  the flowers, his warranted Tooth brushes and the Prince of Wales Tooth
  Powder, are articles worthy the attention of the public.

  Combs, Soaps, Wash balls, and every article in the Perfumery branch,
  wholesale, retail, and for exportation.

  N.B. Families, &c., who take any of Sharp’s articles by the dozen save
  considerably.

  A complete Dressing case fitted up with razor, combs &c., for 10s. 6d.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ^KING’S THEATRE, Haymarket.^

  By PARTICULAR DESIRE, on Thursday next, January 3rd, 1788,
  WILL BE PRESENTED THE SERIO COMIC OPERA called
  IL RE THEODORO in VENEZIA.
  OR, THEODORE KING OF CORSICA AT VENICE.

  The Principal Characters by
  Sig. MORELLI, Sig. MORIGI,
  Sig. BALELI, Sig. CALVESI,
  And Sig. FINESCHI,
  Signora SESTINI, and Signora STORACE.

  The Music composed, in his best style, by the celebrated
  Mr. PAESIELO.

  Under the Direction of
  Sig. MAZZINGHI;

  And Leader of the Orchestra, Mr. CRAMER.

  Painter and Mechanist, Sig. GAETANO MARINARI.

  Inventor & Maker of the Dresses, Sig. LUPINO.

  The doors to be opened at Six and to begin precisely at
  Half-past Seven o’clock.

  Pit, 10s. 6d. First Gallery, 5s. Upper Gallery, 3s.

  Tickets to be had and Subscriptions paid as usual, at Messrs. Ransome,
  Moreland, and Hammersley’s, Bankers, No. 57, Pall Mall.

  End of Act I., A NEW DIVERTISEMENT, composed
  by Mons. CHEVALIER, and performed by
  Mons. VESTRIS, Mons. COULON,
  And Mons. CHEVALIER;
  The Two Miss SIMONETS, Signora REDINI,
  And Mad. COULON.

  End of the Opera, a new BALLET, composed by
  Mons. NOVERRE, called
  LES OFFRANDES A L’AMOUR,
  And Performed by
  Mons. VESTRIS, Mons. COULON,
  And Mons. DIDELOT,
  Miss HELLESBERG, Mad. VEDIE,
  The other Characters by
  Messrs. SAUNLIER, COULON, HENRY, SALA,
  Mademoiselles GRENIERS, &c. &c.,
  And MEZUKES.

  N.B. For the Better accommodation of the Subscribers, the office is
  removed back to Union Court, Haymarket.

  The Nobility and Gentry are requested to take notice that the first
  Masque Ball will be given at this place on Monday, the 4th of
  February, 1788.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _NEW MUSIC._

  This day is Published,

  By LONGMAN and BRODERIP,

  Musicsellers and Musical Instrument Makers to his Royal
  Highness the PRINCE of WALES

  No. 26, Cheapside, and No. 13, Haymarket.

  _Authors._                                                  £. _s. d._

  J. Haydn.    THREE SYMPHONIES for a grand Orchestra,
               dedicated to his Royal Highness the Prince of
               Wales. Op. 5                                    0  10   6

  Ditto.       A set of QUARTETTS for two Violins, Tenor and
               Violoncello, expressive of the Passion of our
               Saviour. Op. 48                                 0   8   0

  Mozart.      Two SYMPHONIES for a Grand Orchestra. Op. 5
               and 9, each                                     0   6   0

  Ditto.       Six QUARTETTS, dedicated to Mr. Haydn. Op. 1    0  15   0

  Ditto.       QUARTETT for the Harpsichord                    0   3   0

  Storace.     CARE DONNE CHE BRAMATE, sung by Signora
               Storace in Il Re Theodore in Venezia            0   2   6

  Pleyel.      Two SONATAS for the Harpsichord, with an
               accompaniment for a Violin. Op. 7               0   4   0

  Ditto.       TRIOS for a Violin, Tenor, and Violoncello.
               Op. 11                                          0   6   0

  Gìordano.    Three GRAND DUETS for the Harpsichord, from
               the works of Haydn                              0   7   6

  Chalon.      THREE DUETS for the Harpsichord. Op. 7          0   7   6

  Barthelemon. COMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS for the Pedal Harp,
               with Airs, Arpegias, and Sonatas, and an easy
               method for tuning                               0  10   6

  Percy.       Six ITALIAN ARIETTAS in the Venetian style,
               for the voice and Piano Forte. Op. 5            0   5   0

  Starkel.     Three SONATAS for the Harpsichord, with
               Accompaniments. Op. 22                          0   7   6

  Millico.     A Fourth set of Six ITALIAN CANZONETS,
               dedicated to Lady Louisa Hervey                 0   5   0

  Bishop.      Six MINUETS and Twelve COUNTRY DANCES for the
               year 1788                                       0   2   6

  Jones.       Ditto    ditto    ditto                         0   2   6

  Shield.      The FARMER. A comic opera, for the Voice and
               Harpsichord                                     0   6   0

       *       *       *       *       *

  _NEW MUSIC._

  This Day are Published,

  By J. BLAND, No. 45, Holborn,

  THE SONGS in Robin Hood, of “Charming Clorinda,” and “When generous
  Wine,” sung by Mr. Bowden, 1s. each. “When ruddy Aurora,” and “The
  Trump of Fame,” each 6d. “Aurora,” a ballad, 1s. He vowed to love me,
  Goodwin cantata; O, thou wert born to please me, a duet; Ye woods and
  ye mountains, an elegy; each 6d. Bland’s 13th and 14th Ladies’ Glees,
  each, 1s. 6d. Ditto, first vol. of ditto, bound, 18s. Periodical
  Ital.; song No. 35, 2s. 6d.; ditto, No. 36, 2s. 6d. Pleyel’s Sonatas,
  composed for the Harpsichord. Op. 7, 4s. C. I. T. L. Sonatinas,
  dedicated to Dr. Burney, 5s. Mozart’s Terzette, 2s. 6d. Bland’s
  Harpsichord Collection, Nos. 1 to 6, each, 5s. Hoffmeister’s Duetts,
  violin and violoncello, Op. 6 & 13, 4s. Ditto, Flute Trios 6s. Ditto,
  Flute Quartets, 10s. 6d. And a variety of new publications.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _OIL AND LAMP WAREHOUSE._

  No. 5, New Street, Covent Garden.

  GEORGE DOWNING, Oil Merchant, proprietor of the above Warehouse, begs
  leave to offer the most proper tender of his grateful acknowledgments
  to the Nobility, Gentry, and public in general, for the repeated
  favours conferred upon him. He respectfully informs his friends, that
  the OIL and LAMP TRADE continues to be transacted upon the same
  liberal terms that first recommended him to their particular
  attention.

  N.B. Orders for Town or Country executed with punctuality.

  New Street, Covent Garden, Jan. 1, 1788.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _CALEDONIAN MACABAU SNUFF._

  JOHN YOUNG, MANUFACTURER and VENDOR of the Hibernian high dried or
  Lundy Foot’s Snuff, presents his respects to the Nobility, Gentry,
  &c., with his Caledonian Macabau Snuff, which upon trial he is
  convinced will be found deserving the estimation his Irish Snuff has
  so justly acquired. Orders sent to his Snuff-Manufactory, No. 73 in
  Drury Lane, near Russell Court, will be attended to with the highest
  respect and gratitude.

  N.B. Snuffs and Tobacco in the highest perfection.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _STATIONARY._

  ADAM THOMPSON, at his paper Manufacturers’ Warehouse, Hand Court,
  Upper Thames Street, begs leave to return to his friends sincere
  thanks for all past favours, and as he is now well stocked with a
  general and choice assortment of Writing and Printing, Wrapping,
  Sugar, and Blue Papers, summer made, shall be happy to receive their
  further orders, which shall be duly attended to on the most moderate
  terms. Notes and Bills taken in Payment at one, two, and three months.

  N.B. Has also about fifty reams French Mezzotinto Bay to be sold 20
  per cent. below current price.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _NEW MUSIC._

  This Day is Published,

  By LONGMAN and BRODERIP, No. 26, Cheapside; No. 13, Haymarket, and at
  their Manufactory in Tottenham Court Road,

  MUSICAL INSTRUMENT MAKERS AND SELLERS TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE
  OF WALES,

  The New Comic Opera, now performing at Covent Garden Theatre, with
  great applause, called The Farmer, composed and compiled by Mr.
  Shield, 6s. Pleyel’s two Grand Sonatas Op. 7, for the Piano Forte, 4s.
  Pleyel’s three Trio Concertante, Op. 11, for a Violin Tenor and
  Violoncello, 6s. Percy’s Italian Arietta Op. 5th, 5s. Mozart’s
  Harpsichord Quartett, 2s. 6d. Complete Instructions for Pedal Harp,
  with a Selection of Favourite Songs and Sonatas by Mr. Barthelemon,
  10s. 6d. Stocket’s three Sonatas, Op. 22, with accompaniments, 7s. 6d.
  Thomas and Susan; or, The Fortunate Tar, performed at the Royalty
  Theatre, 3s. 6d. Chalon’s three Duets for the Pianoforte, Op. 7th, 7s.
  6d. Mozart’s Airs, with Variations, for the Pianoforte, each 2s.
  Breval’s easy Solos for the Violoncello, Op. 28, 7s. 6d. Clementi’s
  Sonata, Op. 10, 3s. Lately imported from the Continent, great variety
  of Harp Music, by the most Eminent Masters; together with the most
  distinguished New Works of the following Authors, consisting of
  Symphonies, Concertas, Quartetts, Trios, Duetts, Solos, and
  Harpsichord Sonatas by Haydn, Pleyel, Kozeluch, Mozart, Breval,
  Trickler, Todor, Devienne, Vanhal, Starkel, Viotti, &c. Also the
  Overture and Songs of Tarare, and select collections of the most
  favourite songs from the latest French Operas, for the
  Harpsichord.--Where may be seen their new-improved grand & small Piano
  Fortes, and Mr. Corri’s new invented Harpsichord Desk, with a
  Dictionary of Musical Terms, Examples, &c. Also his newly invented
  Piano Forte Board, with a Dictionary, &c. Each One Guinea.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _THE OPERA FANS._

  To the Subscribers and Frequenters of the KING’S THEATRE.

  Last Saturday were published, according to Act of Parliament.

  THE Delivery, however, was put off till the Re-opening of the Opera
  House next week, for the purpose of presenting them in the best state
  of improvement.

  These FANS, calculated to present at one view both the number of
  boxes, including the additional ones, names of Subscribers, &c., have
  been carefully compared, with the plan of the House as kept at the
  Office, and will be sold only by the Proprietor,

  Mrs. H. M., No. 81, Haymarket,

  Where she will receive with respectful gratitude any commands from the
  ladies, and wait on them if required.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _HANDEL’S SUBSCRIPTION_

  Dedicated by Permission to His MAJESTY

  This day is published,

  THE ELEVENTH NUMBER OF HANDEL’S WORKS. The four First Numbers
  comprehending the completest Score of the Oratorio of Athalia, the
  four following the whole of Theodora, and the remainder a large
  portion of the Messiah. The elegant Apotheosis of Handel will be
  delivered to Subscribers only with the Twelfth Number.

  Subscriptions are received by Dr. Arnold, No 480, Strand; Messrs.
  Longman and Broderip, No. 13, Haymarket; and Birchall and Co., New
  Bond Street.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day is Published,

  Price 2s. 6d. separately, or 4s. together,

  AN ABRIDGMENT of the MEMORIAL
  Address to the KING OF FRANCE,
  By M. DE CALONNE,
  Minister of State.
  In FRENCH AND ENGLISH.

  TRANSLATED from the French by W. WALTER

  Printed at the _Logographic Press_, by J. WALTER, Printing House
  Square, Blackfriars; and sold by Messrs. Robson and Clarke, and T.
  Hookham, New Bond Street; P. Elmsley, Strand; Messrs. Egeron, Charing
  Cross; and W. Richardson, Royal Exchange.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day is Published,
  Price One Shilling,
  CRAZY KATE A
  FAVOURITE BALLAD,
  Taken from Cowper’s Task.

  Set to Music, with accompaniments,
  By JOHN MOULDS.

  THE FEAST OF APOLLO, No. IV.,
  Price One Shilling,
  Containing a Favourite Overture for the Piano Forte
  “Sans Vous, Ma Chère,” a Favourite Song
  “The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,” ditto

  London: Printed for G. Goulding, Haydn’s Head,
  No. 6, James Street, Covent Garden,
  Where may be had
  LA FEVRE,
  Taken from SIERNE.
  A Favourite SONG, set to Music by HAYDN,
  Price only Sixpence.

  “The Sailor he fears not the Roar of the Seas,”
  A Favourite SONG, set to Music, with Accompaniments,
  by RELFE, Price One Shilling.

  SANS VOUS, MA CHERE,
  A Favourite SONG, sung by Mr. INCLEDON at Bath,
  Composed by MOULDS, Price Sixpence.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ^Theatre Royal, Covent Garden.^

  THIS EVENING
  Will be presented the revived Tragedy of
  The ROMAN FATHER.

  Horatius, Mr. Farren: Tullius Hostilius, Mr. Aickin;
  Valerius, Mr. Davis; and Publius, Mr. Pope. Valeria,
  Mrs. Merton; and Horatia, Miss Bruton.

  In Act V will be introduced a Roman Oration,
  To which will be added (6th time) a new Pantomime,
  called
  The DUMB CAKE;
  Or, the REGIONS OF FANCY.
  With new Music, Scenery, Dresses, Machinery, and
  Decorations.

  N.B. Nothing under full price will be taken.

  To-morrow (not acted this season), The Suspicious Husband. Ranger, Mr.
  LEWIS; and Clarinda, Mrs. Abingdon.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _PROPAGATION OF A LIE._

  W. DICKINSON, Bond Street, has this day published a Print, from an
  original Drawing by H. Bunbury, Esq., representing the Propagation of
  a Lie, being a companion to the much admired prints of the Long
  Minuet.

  Likewise just published,
  An Academy for Grown Horsemen; containing the completest
  instructions for
  Walking,
  Trotting,
  Cantering,
  Galloping,
  Stumbling, and
  Tumbling

  Illustrated with Copperplates, and adorned with a Portrait of the
  Author, by Geoffry Cambado, Esq., Riding Master, Master of the Horse,
  Grand Equerry to the Doge of Venice.

  Where likewise is published all Mr Bunbury’s elegant and caricature
  Prints.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _FESTIVAL OF ANACREON._

  This Day is Published, Price 3s. 6d,

  A New Edition of

  THE FESTIVAL OF ANACREON, containing the Songs of Capt. Morris, Mr.
  Hewerdine, and other Lyric Writers, as sung at the Anacreons Society,
  the Beefsteak and Humbug Clubs.

  Published by William Holland, No. 50, Oxford Street, near Berners
  Street, removed from No. 66, Drury Lane.

  Of whom may be had, just published,

  A Portrait of Kitty Cut-a-Dash; a Dilly setting out from King’s Place
  with a Guard; History of Modern Flagellants, in seven distinct works,
  each of which may be had separate. Comtesse de Barre’s Whim; The
  Pretty Nursery Maid; My Aunt; Hal’s Looking Glass; and a large
  collection of Books, Pamphlets, Paintings, Drawings, and Prints for
  the Cabinets of the Moralist, the Politician, and the Bon Vivant.

  ☞ Pæans of Pleasure and Memoirs of Kitty Cut-a-Dash will be speedily
  published.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day published,
  Price Six Shillings, in Boards,

  MEDICAL COMMENTARIES for the Year 1787, exhibiting a concise view of
  the latest and most important Discoveries in Medicine and Medical
  Philosophy, Collected and Published by

  ANDREW DUNCAN, M.D.F.R. & A.S. Edin., &c.

  Decade Second, Volume Second

  Printed for C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co., opposite Somerset
  Place, Strand, London; and C. Elliot, Edinburgh.

  Of whom may be had,

  Complete SETS of DECADE FIRST, from 1773 to 1785 inclusive. Ten vols.
  8vo., price 3l. in boards, and 3l. 10s. bound.

  Also, Vol. 8, for 1781-2, Vol. 9, for 1783-4; Vol. 10, for 1785; and
  Vol. 1, Decade II. for 1786, at Six Shillings each, in boards.

  N.B. As above may be had gratis, C. Elliot, T. Kay and Co.’s Catalogue
  of Books, in all the different branches of Medicine, for 1788, with
  the lowest prices affixed.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day are Published,

  Printed in One Volume, octavo, on a superfine medium
  paper, price 6s., in Boards,

  I.

  FAMILIAR and FRIENDLY CORRESPONDENCE of FREDERICK THE SECOND, KING OF
  PRUSSIA, with U. F. DE SUHM, Counsellor to the Elector of Saxony.

  II.

  Handsomely printed, in 2 vols., large octavo, on a superfine
  medium paper, price 12s. in Boards,

  A SELECTION from the WORKS of FRANCIS LORD BACON, Viscount St. Alban,
  consisting of his ESSAYS on Civil, Moral, Literary, and Political
  Subjects; the Advancement of Learning, System of Moral Philosophy,
  Theology, &c., and his celebrated History of Life and Death, together
  with his own Life, by Dr. WILLYMOTT.

  III.

  In 2 vols., 8vo, on a Superfine Medium Paper, Price 12s.
  in Boards, illustrated with Copperplates,
  A new and elegant Edition of

  DR. DERHAM’S PHYSICO and ASTRO THEOLOGY; the first contains a
  Demonstration of the Being and the Attributes of God from his Works of
  the Creation; the second, a General Survey of the Heavens, with
  considerable notes and many curious Observations.

  IV.

  In Three Volumes, Price 9s. sewed,

  The MINIATURE PICTURES,
  OR,
  PLATONIC MARRIAGE
  A NEW NOVEL,
  By MRS. CARTWRIGHT

  This Lady displays throughout the work a perfect knowledge of the
  human passions, and the characters are portrayed in the most chaste
  and elegant language.

  V.

  Elegantly printed, in a small pocket volume, on superfine
  Writing Paper, Price 2s. 6d. sewed in Marble Paper,
  A New Edition, being the third, of

  LETTERS which passed between an ILLUSTRIOUS PERSONAGE and a LADY OF
  HONOUR at Brighton.

  London: Printed at the _Logographic Press_, by J. Walters, Printing
  House Square, Blackfriars, and sold by T. Longman, Paternoster Row;
  Robson and Clarke, New Bond Street; and W. Richardson, under the Royal
  Exchange.

       *       *       *       *       *

  Universal Register.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _A HOLIDAY AT ALL THE PUBLIC
  OFFICES._

       *       *       *       *       *

  To CORRESPONDENTS

  Though much has been said of LORD GEORGE GORDON’S beard, yet, as the
  subject increases every day, THE TIMES will not let it pass
  _unnoticed_. The SHANDEAN _Jeu d’Esprit_ will of course be attended
  to, though perhaps with a little clipping.

  The CRITIC will do, so will other SQUIBS from the same hand.

  AMERICAN PHILOSOPHERS and PHILOSOPHY are entitled to the Protection of
  THE TIMES.--With ARTS AND SCIENCES we shall ever be at _peace_.

  On account of the great overflow of temporary matter, several articles
  of intelligence are unavoidably postponed. The favours of several of
  our Advertising correspondents, which were too long, and came too late
  for insertion, shall have places to-morrow.

  Parisian intelligence shall likewise have insertion without fail.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _TO THE PUBLIC._

  VERBAL _thanks_, however warm in expression, cannot be considered the
  criterion of GRATITUDE. DEEDS, not _words_, prove _sincerity_, and by
  future endeavours to entertain and inform, THE TIMES will evince their
  _zeal_ in the service of THE PUBLIC, and their _feelings_ for the
  favours bestowed upon the UNIVERSAL REGISTER.

  MR. WALTER, _patentee_ of the _Logographic Press_, cannot omit
  his tribute of thanks for the very great encouragement
  which his endeavours to improve the art of printing have
  experienced--notwithstanding the unjust and illiberal measures adopted
  to impede its progress and injure him. An accurate statement of these
  mean and invidious practices he is determined to lay before the public
  in a pamphlet on a future day; at present he will only mention a very
  recent one. THE DAILY ADVERTISER being generally read by the lower
  orders of the people, he offered at its office an Advertisement for
  several apprentices, which MR. JENOUR, the Printer, refused to insert,
  though he had received payment several days preceding.

       *       *       *       *       *

  LONDON.

  Last night her Majesty had a concert of vocal and instrumental music
  at the Palace at Windsor.

  The 7th of this month is fixed for the celebration of the marriage of
  the Archduke of Austria and the Princess Elizabeth of Wirtemberg.--The
  ceremony will be performed at Vienna.

  The great heiress, Miss Pulteney, the daughter of William Pulteney,
  Esq., came of age last Thursday.--The entertainments on the occasion
  were very splendid, and the celebration kept at Shrewsbury.

  The indisposition of Lord Salisbury is a public evil; and to do his
  Herefordshire neighbours justice they think so, independent of their
  Christmas disappointment. Other and honourable feelings operate more
  upon the occasion.

  Great expectations are formed of Mr. _Fitzherbert’s_ talents in the
  important post to which he has lately been appointed; and we are ready
  to believe that he will amply fulfil them. But of this we are rather
  certain, that however he may surmount the attacks of the _Hibernian_
  politicians, if the jolly fellows once get him amongst them, they will
  soon make him feel a _want of understanding_.

  The MINISTER, among his late acquisitions, his obtained a gift of an
  _under_ WAISTCOTE, which, however, he has ordered to be _hung up_ in
  his wardrobe, not wishing to wear near his _heart_ a vestment that has
  come from the enemy, and which, like the _shirt_ presented by
  _Dejianira_ to _Hercules_, is probably _poisoned_, and would rather
  raise a _blister_ than prove of salutary effect.

  The _information_ offered by the DESERTER from the _political_
  BANDITTI meets with no credit in _Court_; it having been repeatedly
  determined at the Sessions house in _the Old Bailey_ that an
  _approver_, vulgarly called a _King’s Evidence_, shall have no
  _credit_ with _good men_ and _true_, unless his testimony be supported
  by witnesses of _honest fame_.

  A few days since died Dr. Isaac Mann, Bishop of Cork and Ross, in
  Ireland, and Archdeacon of Dublin. The Marquis of Buckingham by the
  above event is singularly fortunate, by having it in his power during
  the first week of his administration to bestow a mitre on one of his
  chaplains.

  The declining state of the King of _Spain_ naturally turns the
  attention of political observers to that quarter--as a system of
  measures very hostile to the views of _France_, and subversive of that
  tyranny which it has so long exercised at the Court of _Madrid_, may
  possibly be adopted. It is said, and the idea has long met with a
  current belief, that the Prince of Austria is well acquainted with the
  true interests of his country, and will when the power is his
  effectually promote them.

  The public events of Holland are known to every one who can and will
  read the newspapers, but they alone who are able to get a peep into
  private correspondence can be informed, though they will not all of
  them _believe_, that _Lord Beauchamp_ is actually giving dinners--aye,
  and good dinners too--at the _Hague_.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _THE TIMES._

  Why change the head?

  This question will naturally come from the Public--and _we_ the TIMES,
  being the PUBLIC’S most humble and most obedient Servants, think
  ourselves bound to answer.

  All things have _heads_--and all _heads_ are liable to _change_--

  Every sentence and opinion advanced and supported by Mr. _Shandy_, on
  the influence and utility of a well-chosen surname, may be properly
  applied in shewing the recommendations and advantages which result
  from placing a striking title-page before a book, or an inviting HEAD
  on the front page of a NEWS-PAPER.

  A HEAD so placed, like those _heads_ which once ornamented _Temple
  Bar_, or those of the _Great Attorney_ or _Great Contractor_ which,
  not long since, were conspicuously elevated for their _great actions_,
  and were exhibited in _wooden frames_, at the _East_ and _West_-ends
  of this metropolis, never fails of attracting the eyes of passengers,
  though indeed we do not expect to experience the lenity shewn to these
  _great exhibitors_; for probably THE TIMES will be pelted without
  mercy.

  But then a _head_ with a _good face_ is a harbinger or gentleman usher
  that often strongly recommends even DULNESS, FOLLY, IMMORALITY, or
  VICE--The immortal LOCKE gives evidence to the truth of this
  observation. That great philosopher has declared that, though
  repeatedly taken in, he never could withstand the solicitations of a
  well-drawn title-page--authority sufficient to justify _us_ in
  assuming a _new head_, with a _new set of features_, but not with a
  design to impose; for we flatter ourselves the HEADS of THE TIMES will
  not be found deficient in _intellects_, but by putting a _new face_ on
  affairs, will be admired for the _light_ of its _countenance_ wherever
  it appears.

  To advert to our first position.

  THE UNIVERSAL REGISTER has been a name as injurious to the
  _Logographic News-Paper_ as TRISTRAM was to MR. SHANDY’S SON--but OLD
  SHANDY forgot he might have rectified by _confirmation_ the mistake of
  the _parson_ at _baptism_, and with the touch of a _Bishop_ have
  changed TRISTRAM to TRISMEGESTUS.

  THE UNIVERSAL REGISTER, from the day of its first appearance to the
  day of its _confirmation_ has like TRISTRAM suffered from innumerable
  casualities, both laughable and serious, arising from its _name_,
  which on its introduction was immediately curtailed of its fair
  proportion by all who called for it, the word _Universal_ being
  _universally_ omitted, and the word _Register_, only, being retained.
  “Boy, bring me the _Register_.” The waiter answers, “Sir, we have not
  a library, but you may see it at the _New Exchange Coffee House_.”
  “Then I’ll see it there,” answers the disappointed politician, and he
  goes to the _New Exchange_ and calls for the _Register_; upon which
  the waiter tells him he cannot have it if he is not a subscriber--or
  presents him with the Court and City Register, the _Old Annual
  Register_, or the _New Annual Register_; or if the Coffee House be
  within the Purlieus of Covent Garden, or the Hundreds of Drury--slips
  into the politician’s hand “_Harris’s Register_ of Ladies.”

  For these and other reasons, the parents of the UNIVERSAL REGISTER
  have added to its original name that of the

  _TIMES,_

  Which, being a _monosyllable_, bids defiance to _corrupters_ and
  _mutilaters_ of the language.

  THE TIMES! What a monstrous name! Granted--for THE TIMES _is_ a
  many-headed monster that speaks with a hundred tongues, and displays a
  thousand characters, and in the course of _its_ transformations in
  life assumes innumerable shapes and humours.

  The critical reader will observe we personify our _new name_, but as
  we give it no distinction of sex, and though _it_ will be _active_ in
  _its_ vocations, yet we apply to _it_ the _neuter gender_.

  THE TIMES, being formed of materials and possessing qualities of
  opposite and heterogeneous natures, cannot be classed either in the
  animal or vegetable _genus_; but like the _Polypus_ is doubtful, and
  in the discussion, description, dissection, and illustration, will
  employ the pens of the most celebrated of the _Literati_.

  THE HEADS OF THE TIMES, as has been said, are many; they will however
  not always appear at the same time, but casually, as public or private
  affairs may call them forth.

  The principal or leading heads are--

  The LITERARY,
      POLITICAL,
      COMMERCIAL,
      PHILOSOPHICAL,
      CRITICAL,
      THEATRICAL,
      FASHIONABLE,
      HUMOUROUS,
      WITTY, &c., &c.

  Each of which are supplied with a competent share of intellects for
  the pursuit of their several functions; an endowment which is not in
  _all time_ to be found even in the HEADS of the _State_--The _heads_
  of the _Church_--the _heads_ of the _Law_--the _heads_ of the
  _Navy_--the _heads_ of the _Army_--and though _last_, not _least_, the
  _great heads_ of the _Universities_.

  The _Political Head_ of THE TIMES, like that of _Janus_, the Roman
  Deity, is double faced; with one countenance it will smile continually
  on the _friends_ of _Old England_, and with the other will frown
  incessantly on her _enemies_.

  The alteration we have made in our _head_ is not without precedents.
  The WORLD has parted with half of its CAPUT MORTUUM and a moiety of
  its brains. The HERALD has cut off half of its head, and has lost its
  original humour. The POST, it is true, retains its whole head and its
  old features; and as to the other public prints, they appear as having
  neither _heads_ nor _tails_.

  On the PARLIAMENTARY HEAD every communication that ability and
  industry can produce may be expected. To this great _National object_
  THE TIMES will be most sedulously attentive, most accurately correct,
  and strictly impartial in its reports.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THEATRE.

  _Drury Lane._

  Hamlet--whose doom, at least this season, has unfortunately been “to
  walk the night and strut to empty benches”--performed yesterday
  evening its accustomed _penance_ in lieu of Tamerlane.

  Were not this excellent tragedy so often used “on the spur of the
  occasion,” we think such admirable acting as Kemble’s Prince of
  _Denmark_ would meet with more _attendance_--more of applause it could
  not have.

  Mrs. Ward’s performance of the _Queen_ is the best proof of Mrs.
  Siddon’s assertion, that “Gertrude had more good points about her than
  the critics were aware of.” Mrs. Ward’s distracted _look_ in the
  closet scene aided most powerfully Kemble’s piteous exclamation of,
  “On _him!_ on _him!_” Indeed, the noble delineation of that difficult
  character did much credit to this rising actress.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _Covent Garden._

  “Henry the Fourth,” with Ryder’s Falstaff, ended the year _merrily_ at
  this Theatre. The house was remarkably full, and the lower boxes had
  most of the fashionable _amateurs_ in town. The Falstaff of Ryder,
  though not perfection, is yet respectable, and is the more welcome,
  with “all its imperfections upon its head,” as disappointing the
  general assertion that Falstaff _died_ with _Henderson_. Among the
  most pleasing and prominent features were his address to the _gang_ on
  Gadds Hill--“By the _Lord_, I _knew_ you”--to the Prince, and
  soliloquy on _honour_. The description of his _company_ was also
  replete with humour.

  Edwin’s kind donation of the _sugar candy_ was particularly welcome to
  Lewis, who was most villainously hoarse. The scene of Anon! anon! Sir,
  of course lost much of its effect.

       *       *       *       *       *

  REHEARSAL OF NEW YEAR’S ODE.

  Mr. Cramer led the band at the rehearsal yesterday, in _Hickford’s
  Rooms, Brewer’s Street_. The Overture consisted of three movements, in
  the second of which Mr. Parke’s oboe was distinguished in a Solo
  accompanied by the Violincello. Mr. Sale opened the vocal part in a
  recitative and air--

    “Rude was the Pile, and massy Roof.”

  He was followed by Doctor Hayes, who executed an air with great
  applause. Master Carnaby, one of the King’s Boys, sung a verse
  sweetly, beginning,

    “When to the King.”

  In the cantibile at the close, he rather failed in his execution,
  which was very excusable in a first essay before so many capital
  masters. A most rich and beautiful symphony preceded Mr. Dyne’s air.

    “Proud Castle, to thy banner’d Bowers.”

  It was much admired for its simplicity, it being conceived in the
  captivating manner of the late Doctor Arne, with this addition, that
  the accompanyments were much richer. The music finished with a very
  powerful chorus, “Albion, arouse,” but there were not voices
  sufficient to to do it justice.

  The DUKE OF CUMBERLAND and near two hundred ladies and gentlemen were
  present. Previous to the performance, the minuets for the Queen’s
  birthday were as usual played over, two of which seemed to have a
  considerable share of novelty and merit.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _THE CUCKOO_

  _Cuckoo! Cuckoo!_ Repeated the little piece of _machinery_ which LADY
  WALLIS had conveyed into her _muff_, when she visited the COUNTESS OF
  HUNTINGDON’S chapel. The _preacher_ raised up his eyes with amazement.
  _Cuckoo!_ repeated the machine. “O word unpleasing to a married ear.”
  Messrs. A., B., and C. rubbed their _foreheads_, and looked upon the
  _preacher_. The _preacher_ went on with his discourse: “_fornicators
  and adulterers_ shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.” _Cuckoo!_
  repeated the machine. The _preacher_ proceeded till he came to another
  quotation: “Saul! Saul! why persecutes thou me?” _Cuckoo!_ repeated
  the machine.

  LADY BRISTOL, more _notoriously_ known by her assumed title, the
  DUCHESS OF KINGSTON, had lately been _seized_ with a longing to
  revisit her native country. Her Ladyship declares she has for a
  considerable time past felt the _amor patria_, and wishes for a
  _private_ conversation with his Majesty’s Ministers, for the purpose
  of laying before them the _true state_ of the Empress of Russia’s
  _private affairs_.

  We are rejoiced for the best reason in the world--because it will
  promote the joy of others--that the report of _Mrs. Hobart_ having
  retired from the _Richmond Theatre_ is entirely without foundation.
  Where mirth, good humour, and elegant festivity prevail, especially if
  they should be heightened by the comic scene, Mrs. _Hobart_ cannot be
  easily spared.

  On Friday evening, there was a private concert at the house of Mr.
  Billington, in Poland Street, at which there were some of the
  _first-characters_ in the kingdom. A more particular account of it
  probably will be given in this paper on a future day.

  Though clearing the gallery of the COMMONS of strangers be a _standing
  order_, which any _member_ may insist upon without being seconded, yet
  SIR GREGORY would not venture to put it in execution without
  consulting his _Lady_: who, after examining the premises, has given
  her opinion that _such things_ ought not to be _sported_ or _trifled_
  with.

  SIR THOMAS BEAVER and MAJOR MONEY have commenced _Literary
  hostilities_, through the medium of the _Norwich Mercury_; their
  ammunition is of inflammable materials--more, however, of _brimstone_
  than of _salt_, and _charcoal_ in great abundance.

  As this Paper has traced _every incident_ respecting LORD GEORGE
  GORDON for several months past, it takes the liberty of announcing his
  Lordship’s return to St. George’s Fields _early_ in the ensuing term.

  LORD GEORGE GORDON is preparing to _beard_ Mr. ATTORNEY GENERAL on the
  question of bail; and Mr. _Attorney_ on his part is preparing a
  _cutting_ argument for _trimming Lord George_, but though his Lordship
  has been so long in the _suds_, it is not thought that _shaving_ will
  take place till _the day of Judgement_.

  The paragraph which appeared in a certain respectable Morning Print,
  relative to the discharge of a person from St. James’s, for having
  paid a grateful attention to Lord George in his distresses is,
  however, not true; indeed, the report was too _ungracious_ to be so.

  O QUACKERY! where wilt thou end? O PHYSIC, when are thy disgraces to
  terminate? There are at this time a practitioner in town, who says to
  his patients--“Use my _wegetable_, follow my _regiment_, and never
  fear it will _radicate_ all your _pectril_ complaints.” Such a
  character should not escape the animadversion of THE TIMES; but of
  _this here_ Doctor more anon--when _The Times_ have leisure.

  Yesterday the Purser of the Dutton, Captain Hunt, for Bombay and
  China, received his final dispatches from the India House.

  It is really surprising that Bedford Street, one of the great leading
  avenues to the Strand, should continue to remain in so confined a
  state towards the bottom; it resembles a great bottle with a small
  neck; there is not literally at its entrance from the Strand room for
  two coaches to go abreast, yet forty yards higher it is roomy and
  spacious. If the houses which form so great a bulk on the right hand,
  where Cater the Pawnbroker now lives, were thrown down, and an elegant
  range of new buildings to match the opposite corner, where Mess.
  Humble and Henderson’s upholstery warehouse is, it would certainly be
  equally commodious with either Catherine or Southampton Street.

  During the late memorable contest between Johnson and Ryan, in the
  last _set to_ Ryan trod upon Johnstone’s great toe, and by the
  violence of the struggle lacerated the nail wholly from it. Johnstone
  was at this instant observed to turn pale. When they were disengaged
  Johnstone was so much irritated, that making a blow at Ryan, whom he
  missed, he struck one of the uprights of the stage, which shook it in
  an incredible manner, the next blow that Johnstone made was aimed at
  the chest, in which he succeeded, and this terminated the contest.
  Johnstone then asked Ryan if he had enough; to which he replied, “I’ve
  had enough these six minutes, but to oblige my friends, I have _stood
  up_.” Johnson’s hand was much bruised and black for some time after by
  the blow against the upright, and we hear he has not yet recovered of
  the hurt which his toe received in the encounter.

  The spirit with which the Lord Mayor threatens the pack of _Bullock
  Drivers_ in amongst the first fruits of his administration, which
  promise it to be, as we hope it will prove, an administration of
  effect. As for our part, we cannot be convinced that the power of the
  magistracy in the metropolis and its suburbs is not equal to the
  correction of the numerous disgraceful abuses which infect its
  jurisdiction.

  A tradesman of St Alban’s being asked why the King, after his fatigue
  on Saturday, quitted the town with so much precipitation, replied with
  some humour, “because his Majesty had no inclination to dine with
  _Duke Humphrey_.”

  Saturday morning, several of the felons in the New Goal in the Borough
  made an attempt to escape, but were overheard by the Keeper, when two
  of the principals were properly secured in the strong room.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day is Published,
  Price 1s. the book, and 8d. the sheet,
  Elegantly printed in a size which may be enclosed in a
  Pocket Book,

  TRUSLER’S CLERICAL and UNIVERSAL ALMANACK for the year 1788. Which
  contains a greater variety of matter than any other now published; and
  though in a small size has the lists of Lords and Commons, New Taxes,
  and is a complete Court Register in a much lesser compass.

  London: Printed at the _Logographic Press_: and sold by all the
  Booksellers.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _GAME OF WHIST._

  This day is published,
  Price fourpence, or four for a shilling to give away,

  BOB SHORT’S RULES of the GAME of WHIST, _improved_ by the addition of
  the Laws of WHIST, as now played at Brookes’s, Bath, &c.

  Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, of whom may be had,
  price One Shilling,

  EVERY MAN A GOOD CARD PLAYER, Or Rules for playing the Game of Whist,
  Quadrille, Picquet, Lansquenet and Quinze.

  By a MEMBER of the JOCKEY CLUB.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _VALUABLE NEW YEAR’S GIFTS._

  This day was published,
  Price Two Shillings, sewed,
  Or Three shillings neatly bound and gilt,

  A NEW and Beautiful Edition of TOMKINS’ SELECTION OF POEMS, to enforce
  the practice of Virtue.

  Printed for John Wallis, No. 16, Ludgate Street, of whom may be had,
  the same size and price,

  THE BEAUTIES OF BLAIR’S SERMONS,
  Selected with a view to refine the taste,
  Rectify the judgment, and mould the heart to Virtue.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day is published,
  Handsomely printed, in one volume, 12mo,
  Price two shillings and sixpence, sewed,

  THE INTERESTING MEMOIRS OF HENRY MASERS DE LATUDE, during a
  confinement of Thirty-five years in the State Prisons of FRANCE;
  giving an historical account of those lamentable places of abode for
  those unhappy persons who fall under their cruel power; of the Means
  he used to escape once from the Bastille and twice from the dungeons
  of Vincennes, with the consequences of those attempts; the whole
  forming a Series of Events and Perseverance (under the most dreadful
  apprehension) scarcely to be thought possible for the Human Mind to
  sustain, and which will be found unparalleled in the Annals of
  History.

  Written by HIMSELF.

  Together with REMARKS of the TRANSLATOR on the utility and necessity
  of the LETTRES DE CACHET, with respect to the manners and constitution
  of France.

  The above work was privately printed and circulated at Paris; the
  public sale being suppressed, as it contained many circumstances the
  French Military wished to conceal from the Public Eye.

  Printed for the Editor, at the Logographic Press, and sold by Robson
  and Clarke, New Bond Street; T. Longman, Paternoster Row; and W.
  Richardson, under the Royal Exchange.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This day is published,
  The THIRD EDITION of

  HISTORIES OF CURES performed by Mr. RUSPINI’S STYPTIC SOLUTION.
  Amongst others of the greatest importance, is a cure lately
  communicated to Mr. Ruspini by the Surgeon of the Royal Hospital of
  Haslar, Portsmouth, of a Sailor whose arm was so shattered to pieces
  by the explosion of a cannon, that amputating the limb near the
  shoulder became absolutely necessary. The usual means by legature for
  restraining the hamorrhage proving abortive, by its proceeding from
  within the bone, induced the Surgeon, as the only remaining chance, to
  use the Styptic Liquor. It was applied, and the bleeding soon stopped.
  It proceeds to inform Mr. Ruspini that had not the Styptic answered
  this great purpose, the last and only remedy appeared to be a second
  amputation in the shoulder joint.

  London: Printed for J. Johnston, Bookseller, St. Paul’s Church Yard:
  and to be had also of Mr. Ruspini, Surgeon Dentist to his Royal
  Highness the Prince of Wales; and at Mr. Ruspini’s, Jun., Bath.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THIS DAY is published.

  Beautifully printed in Quarto, upon a Superfine Medium
  Paper,
  DEDICATED by permission to the Right Hon. W. PITT,

  NUMBER I.
  Price One Shilling (to be continued weekly), of
  A new and elegant edition of

  ANDERSON’S HISTORICAL and CHRONOLOGICAL DEDUCTION of the ORIGIN of
  COMMERCE, from the earliest accounts to the present time; containing a
  HISTORY of the great Commercial Interests of the BRITISH EMPIRE: To
  which is prefixed an INTRODUCTION, exhibiting a view of the Antient
  and Modern STATE OF EUROPE, &c., with an APPENDIX, containing the
  MODERN POLITICO-COMMERCIAL GEOGRAPHY of the several European
  countries. _Carefully revised, corrected, and continued up to the
  present time_

  BY PERSONS OF THE FIRST LITERARY TALENT AND
  COMMERCIAL KNOWLEDGE.

  This scarce and valuable work is in the highest estimation in the
  Literary World, as it is well known to contain the most comprehensive
  and well digested view of the Principles of Commerce now extant, and
  must be of the greatest utility, both to the Statesman and Merchant,
  as well as to Readers of every description, at this important Period.

  London: Printed at the ^Logographic Press^. by J. Walter, _Printing
  House Square, Black Friars_,

  AND SOLD BY

  J. Robson, T. Payne and Sons, B. White and Son, L. Davis, B. Law, R.
  Baldwin, T. Becket, T. Elmsly, W. Otridge, J. Johnson, C. Dilby, W.
  Richardson, W. Flexney, W. Goldsmith, J. Blew, T. Evans, W. Lowndes,
  J. Debret, G. and T. Whilkie, T. Wheldon, Scatcherd and Whitaker; also
  by T. White, Dublin; Elliott and Gordon, Edinburgh; Dunlop and Wilson,
  Glasgow; And all other Booksellers in Great Britain and Ireland.

  ☞ The first and Second Volumes of this work (agreeable to the wishes
  of many gentlemen subscribers and others) are now published in boards,
  price 1l. 18s., embellished with an elegant Map of the World, executed
  in masterly style, improved with the latest Discoveries, and may be
  had as above.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _For the BENEFIT of the PUBLIC._

  THE Public are respectfully informed that several Medicines of the
  best acknowledged infallibility, in the respective parts of the world
  they are gathered from, are on sale, by appointment, at J. de Boffe’s,
  importer of Foreign Books and Prints, No. 7, Gerard Street, Soho, and
  at Mr. Randall’s, under the Royal Exchange. Emolument is not the
  object of so useful an exertion, as to import from all parts articles
  of so eminent a virtue: but that of spreading relief, viz.:--Opiate of
  Life, most sovereign for weak and decayed stomachs, and infallible to
  all consumptive complaints, 7s. per pot of 18 doses. Golden Pill--the
  greatest specific ever known against pains in the head and eyes, a
  great restorer of lost memory, and most wonderful for giving a
  beautiful complexion; a composition of the wholesomest and scarcest
  articles, as are even not to be had in Europe, 10s. 6d. per box of 24
  pills. Danish Pills, a never-failing remedy against the gravel, 6s.
  per box of 24 pills.

  Interesting Discoveries. A liquid which will render all writings not
  legible as legible as if they had been instantly written, 10s. 6d. per
  bottle; and an Ointment which destroys bugs so as never to return, 2s.
  6d. per pot.

       *       *       *       *       *

  To PARENTS and GUARDIANS.

  WANTED, A YOUNG GENTLEMAN of respectable parents, as an APPRENTICE to
  a LINEN DRAPER in a House of very extensive Business, the West end of
  the Town. A Genteel premium will be expected, as he will be treated as
  one of the family.

  For particulars, enquire of Mr. Holl, Printing House Square,
  Blackfriars.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _LODGINGS IN SURREY,_

  Within three or four miles of London Bridge, in a dry,
  well-seasoned House.

  TWO Bed-Chambers and a Dining-Room, large, handsome, airy, and well
  furnished, will be wanted on Monday, the 7th of January, for a month’s
  trial.

  Letters addressed to X., at Lloyd’s Coffeehouse, describing
  particulars and terms, will be attended to on Friday or Saturday next.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _TO BE LETT,_

  And entered upon Immediately,

  TWO good Dwelling Houses, situated in Nicholas Lane, Lombard Street,
  late in the possession of Mr. Gregory and Mr. Southwell.

  Enquire of Mr. John Walter, Printing House Square, Blackfriars.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _REFINED LIQUORIC,_

  For COUGHS, COLDS, ASTHMAS and DEFLUXIONS of the LUNGS, sold by C.
  WALSH, CHYMIST, No. 100, STRAND, near EXETER CHANGE.

  THE very great esteem in which this Preparation is held in, and the
  general knowledge of the effects of the plant from which it is
  extracted, renders an account of its medicinal properties almost
  unnecessary. In all phthsical and hectic disorders, complaints of the
  lungs, and breast coughs, colds, and asthmatic affections, there
  cannot be a better or (and what particularly recommends it) a more
  agreeable remedy. It also effectually clears the organs of speech, by
  removing that viscid phlegm which prevents a due extent of the voice;
  in short, it is a medicine of very singular pectoral qualities, and
  will not fail of giving relief in every disorder to which the lungs
  are subject to.

  Sold in Boxes, One Shilling each; small ditto, 6d.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _ENGLISH STATE LOTTERY._

  Begins Drawing FEBRUARY 11, 1788.

  RICHARDSON and GOODLUCK respectfully inform the public that the
  TICKETS are SOLD and divided into Half, Quarter, Eighth, and Sixteenth
  SHARES, at their licensed State Lottery Offices, in the Bank
  Buildings, Cornhill, and opposite the King’s Mews, Charing Cross,
  where every business of the Lottery is transacted with correctness and
  fidelity.

  _N.B._ In the last and TWO preceding Lotteries the following CAPITAL
  PRIZES have been sold and shared at the above Office, viz.:--

            Sold in Shares
  No. 48,577  a Prize of  £20,000.
      23,148               10,000.
      27,964               10,000.
      41,827                5,000.
      33,599                5,000.
      22,740                5,000.
             Whole Tickets
  No     968  a Prize of  £20,000.
       4,196               10,000.
       5,473                5,000.
      18,179                5,000.
       3,605                5,000.
  Besides many of Two Thousand, One Thousand, and Five
  Hundred Pounds.

  Country Correspondents may have Tickets and Shares sent them by
  remitting good Bills, payable at sight or of a short date. All Shares
  sold at the above Offices are stamped agreeable to Act of Parliament.

  Tickets registered at Six-pence each, and the earliest
  Intelligence sent of their success.

  ⁂ Money for the Prizes will be paid at the above
  Offices as soon as drawn.

       *       *       *       *       *

  (No. 50)

  _LOMBARD STREET._

  January 1st, 1788

  MESSRS. SHERGOLD and CO. most respectfully offer their sincere Thanks
  and grateful acknowledgements to a liberal and discerning Public for
  the very great Measure of Confidence and Favours recently added to the
  obligations they owe their Friends during a series of many Years and
  upon repeated Occasions.

  Without adopting the Parade and Nonsense which renders some of their
  contemporaries ridiculous, they can make the best possible Appeal for
  the Integrity and Honor of their actions--an Appeal to the Voice and
  to the Judgment of the Public. They will not vaunt the Encouragement
  and Preference they have received from all Ranks, but leave the World
  to judge by Enquiry and the general Opinion how far they have
  distanced all Competitors in extent of Business and of universal
  Esteem.

  THE success of their House to Adventurers has kept Pace with the
  stability of its engagements. A great Number of CAPITAL PRIZES have
  been added to their former numerous catalogue, and in particular a
  5,000l., paid to a respectable Shopkeeper in the _Borough_, who will
  readily bear Testimony to the Alacrity and Promptitude he experienced.

  MESSRS. SHERGOLD and CO. acquaint the Subscribers to the IRISH LOTTERY
  that the Tickets to be given _Gratis_, agreeable to their Terms, will
  be ready to deliver on Thursday, the 17th of January inst., and they
  earnestly request their friends will call for and receive them before
  the 12th of February.

  THEY hope their conduct will warrant them to expect a continuance of
  the Friendship and Recommendation of their Patrons in the ENGLISH
  LOTTERY, who may be assured that the same line of Rectitude will be
  strictly adhered to which has uniformly distinguished all their
  Proceedings.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _A PROPOSAL TO THE PUBLIC._

  For the better Security of those who purchase SHARES of
  LOTTERY TICKETS,

  HORNSBY and CO., Licensed pursuant to Act of Parliament, at their
  old-established office, No. 26, Cornhill, ever anxious to merit the
  favours they so extensively receive from their friends in town and
  country, propose the following amendment of the Act for regulating the
  Sharing of Tickets.

  The Act, as it now stands, enables every Office Keeper to take away
  the Ticket (which is deposited at the time of sharing in the hands of
  the Commissioners) three days after the said Ticket is drawn; in which
  case the security is every way incomplete, because those purchasers of
  Shares who live at a distance from the Metropolis may not receive
  intelligence of the fate of the Ticket in time to make the demand
  before the said Ticket is received back from the Commissioners, and
  possibly disposed of. Whereas, if the Act extended the time for a
  certain number of weeks, there would be an opportunity for application
  to be made for each respective share before the ticket could be
  withdrawn.

  To give, however, the friends of Hornsby and Co. every possible
  confidence in the fairness and integrity of their transactions, and in
  order to obviate the most distant suspicion of insecurity, they hereby
  publicly declare and engage that every ticket which is shared by them
  and deposited in the hands of the Commissioners, shall remain so
  deposited for one whole calendar Month after the drawing of the
  Lottery is finished, and that notwithstanding they will continue, as
  they always have done, to pay upon demand every share of a prize that
  may be drawn in the ensuing English Lottery, from a 20l. prize to a
  20,000l.

       *       *       *       *       *

  VICTUALLING OFFICE.

  29th December, 1787.

  _THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give
  Notice, That there is money in the hands of the Treasurer of His
  Majesty’s Navy to pay the Principal and Interest of the Bills
  registered in the course of the Victualling for three months ending
  the 31st of January, 1787, in order that the Persons possessed of such
  Bills may bring them to this Office to be assigned for payment._

  _And all persons who hold the said Bills are desired to subscribe
  their names and places of abode at the bottom of each Bill._

       *       *       *       *       *

  VICTUALLING OFFICE.

  24th December, 1787.

  _THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give
  Notice, That, on Tuesday the 8th of January next, they will be ready
  to receive Tenders in writing (sealed up), and treat with such persons
  as will undertake to supply Fresh Beef and Sea Provisions to his
  Majesty’s Ships and Vessels at Liverpool, which will be paid for by
  Bills in Course._

  _The Conditions of the Contract may be seen at the Secretary’s Office,
  at this Office, or by applying to the Collector of His Majesty’s
  Customs, at Liverpool._

  _And all persons who may think proper to make Tenders upon the said
  occasion are desired to take Notice, That, no Regard will be had to
  any Tender that shall not be delivered before 1 o’clock on the said
  8th January next, nor unless the Person who makes the Tender, or some
  Person on his behalf, attends to answer for him when called for. And
  that none that contain extravagant prices upon some articles, and
  prices much inferior to the real value on others, will be considered
  as proper to be attended to._

       *       *       *       *       *

  _CHELSEA HOSPITAL._

  Dec 28th, 1787.

  THESE are by Order of the Right Hon. my Lords and others,
  Commissioners for the Affairs of the Royal Hospital at Chelsea, to
  give Notice that all Out-Pensions (as well Lettermen as others)
  belonging to the said Hospital, residing in London or within
  twenty-five miles thereof, are required to appear personally at the
  Secretary’s Office in the said Hospital; and are required also, to
  appear regimentally on the respective days appointed for them as are
  hereafter mentioned, when attendance will be given from nine o’clock
  in the morning till three in the afternoon, in order to register their
  appearances, viz.:--

  Thursday, Jan. 3rd, 1788.

  The Pensioners from the 1st, 2nd, and late 3rd and 4th Troops of Horse
  Guards--Royal Horse Guards Blues; 3rd, 4th, and 7th Regiments of
  Horse; 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Regiments of Dragoon Guards; and all the
  Dragoons within the British Legion.

  Friday, Jan. 4th.

  The First and Second Regiments of Foot Guards.

  Saturday, Jan. 5th.

  Those from the Third Regiment of Foot Guards, and the Pensioners from
  the First to the Thirteenth Regiments of Foot inclusive.

  Monday, Jan. 7th.

  Those from the Fourteenth to the Forty-fifth Regiments of Foot
  inclusive.

  Tuesday, Jan. 8th.

  Those from the Forty-sixth to the Ninetieth Regiments of Foot
  inclusive.

  Wednesday, Jan. 9th.

  Those from the Ninety-first to the One Hundred and Nineteenth
  Regiments of Foot inclusive, the Pensioners from Lord Strathaven’s,
  Major Waller’s, Olford’s, and Triik’s Corps, the Royal Garrison
  Battalion, Royal Irish Quick’s Rangers, Fencibles in North Britain,
  Cinque Ports and Lancashire Volunteers, with all the American and
  other corps. Those from the Militia, as also the Pensioners from the
  ten reduced Regiments of Marine, those from the broken Regiments of
  Foot, those discharged from the Scotch castles, the Independent
  Companies abroad, and those who have been In-pensioners of Chelsea
  Hospital, Lettermen and men at Ninepence per day.

  And that all Out-pensioners (as well Lettermen as others) belonging to
  the said Hospital, who live at a greater distance than 25 miles from
  London, and those in Scotland and Ireland, are hereby required and
  commanded that after the 25th of December, and after every succeeding
  25th of June and December, till further orders, they forthwith apply
  themselves to one of His Majesty’s Justices of the Peace in the
  neighbourhood where they reside, and make the following affidavit,
  which the said magistrate for the county, city, borough, or riding,
  before whom the Pensioners appear shall sign and date, viz.:--

                                     came before me, one of his
  Majesty’s Justices of the Peace for the County of            and made
  oath that he was admitted an Out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital on the
    day of          17   from the         Regiment of
  commanded by            was then aged about    years, served in the
  army    year, was discharged for            and that he is no
  otherwise provided for by the Government but as a Pensioner of the
  said College; and now lives in the Parish of            in the County
  of           . Sworn before me this      day of          17  .

  The Affidavits, drawn according to the above form, sworn before, dated
  and attested by a magistrate, is to be put up in a cover, and sent by
  the General Post (directed thus): To the Right Honourable the
  Paymaster General, at the Horse Guards, London; and that counterparts
  or duplicates of the said affidavits are to be reserved by the
  Out-pensioners respectively, to be exhibited to such persons as shall
  be directed to pay them; that they may be satisfied that all such as
  may claim Out-pensions are the real persons entitled to receive the
  same.

  To the end that the said Commissioners for the affairs of the Hospital
  may be satisfied that they are the same persons who have passed their
  examinations, the Pensioners are hereby further directed that such of
  them as have served, and have been discharged from any of the
  Regiments, or Independent Companies of Invalids, are not to mention in
  their affidavits such Regiment or Company in which they served, but
  the Regiment, Troop, or Corps of the Army from which they were first
  discharged, and recommended and received to Chelsea Hospital.

  And as the general payments in Great Britain and Ireland at the end of
  the ensuing six months are chiefly regulated by the places of
  residence mentioned by the Pensioners, who are mustered at Chelsea in
  person, or in the body of the affidavits of such as live at a
  distance, it is hereby ordered and directed that no Pensioner who
  shall change the place of his abode given at his muster, or specified
  in his Affidavit aforesaid, and who may apply for his pension, except
  to the offices of Excise nearest such places of abode, shall receive
  the same unless it appear by the Certificates of respectable persons
  that such removal was through some unavoidable necessity, which he nor
  they could not foresee or prevent.

  Lastly, it is notified that none will be entered upon the Pay List of
  the said Hospital, or be thought entitled to receive any benefit
  therefrom, who shall not act agreeable to these orders and direction.

  SAMUEL ESTWICK, Secretary and Register.

       *       *       *       *       *

  NAVY OFFICE.

  Dec. 10, 1787.

  _THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy do
  hereby give notice that, on Thursday, the 3rd of Jan. next, at one
  o’clock, they will be ready to treat with such persons as may be
  willing to contract for supplying the Slop Office here with Deal Cases
  for packing Slops._

  _The Particulars may be seen in the lobby here. No letter will be
  received as a tender unless the writer, or an agent for him, attends;
  nor will any be received after twelve o’clock._

       *       *       *       *       *

  NAVY OFFICE.

  December 29, 1787.

  _THE Principal Officers and Commissioners of his Majesty’s Navy do
  hereby give notice that all Bills registered in the Course of the Navy
  for the Months of November and December, 1786, and January, 1787, are
  ordered to be paid in money, that all persons who are possessed of the
  same may bring them to this office to be assigned to the Treasurer of
  the Navy for payment._

  _All persons who hold the said Bills are to subscribe their names and
  place of abode at the bottom of each Bill._

       *       *       *       *       *

  VICTUALLING OFFICE.

  27th November, 1787.

  _THE Commissioners for Victualling his Majesty’s Navy do hereby give
  Notice, That, on Tuesday, the 29th of January next, they will be to
  receive Tenders in writing (sealed up), and treat with such persons as
  will undertake to furnish their Agent at Gibraltar with whatever sums
  of money the service of His Majesty’s Victualling that Place may
  thereafter require._

  _The Conditions of the Contract may be seen at the Secretary’s Office.
  And all persons who may think proper to make tenders upon the said
  Occasion are desired to take notice that no regard will be had to any
  Tender that shall not be delivered to the Board before one o’clock on
  the said 29th January next; nor unless the person who makes the
  Tender, or some person on his behalf, attends to answer for him when
  called for._

       *       *       *       *       *

  FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE,

  _Yesterday arrived with the Mails from Holland and
  Flanders._

  _Warsaw, Dec. 5._

  THE Waywodes of Volchinia and Podolia have sent three deputies here to
  make representations to the King and the permanent Council, with
  respect to the delivery of the corn that has been demanded by the
  Russian Army encamped in Poland. These Deputies have had an audience
  at the last meeting of the Supreme Council, at which they solicited,
  “That the King and Supreme Council would be pleased to devise means,
  which by preventing famine, terminating the grievances of the
  inhabitants, and quieting dissensions, might strengthen and give
  efficacy to the resolutions of the nobility, the more so as these
  resolutions are consonant to the principles of justice and equity.”

  These Waywodes had a meeting in pursuance of these resolutions: “For
  chusing an appointed place to establish a general magazine, to which
  every person might bring whatever he possesses superfluous, and
  deliver it to the Directors of the Stores. The Troops of the Republic
  shall be provided for out of this general deposit of the country,
  after which what remains will be sold to the Russians at the market
  price, agreeable to the declaration of Count Romanzow, upon the entry
  into Poland.”

  Count Romanzow has taken possession of Talzyn, nine miles from the
  frontiers of Turkey, and the army encamped in Poland under his command
  will winter in the neighbourhood of that place. The Waywode of Russian
  Lithuania, Count Petocki, has established his general quarters at
  Mohibow. This patriotic vigilant General visits all the advance posts
  in person.

  By accounts from our frontiers we learn that eleven commanders who
  served in the last unsuccessful attack upon Kinburn, and to whose
  imprudence the failure of this enterprise was attributed, have been
  executed; their heads were cut off and exhibited at the gate of the
  seraglio, upon spears.

  _Frankfort, Dec. 14._--On the 11th of this month the reformers
  established in this city have got permission to follow the duties of
  their religion in private houses, until their churches shall be
  finished.

  The Elector of Mentz has ordained for the future that Lutherans shall
  be capable of civil employments, and he has nominated as Counsellor of
  the present Regency Graberg, a Lutheran Doctor. This is the first
  example of this kind since 1709.

  _Constantinople, Nov. 10._--On the 30th of October there was a grand
  meeting of the principal ministers for examining the Dispatches that
  were brought by two couriers, the one from Vienna and the other from
  Paris; the result of which is that the Porte answers, “That the
  restoration of a durable peace must be impossible as long as Russia
  keeps possession of the Crimea, and the chief article of the
  preliminaries must be that Russia do consent to the re-establishment
  of the new Chan in all the rights of sovereignty which that prince may
  claim upon Little Tartary by virtue of his Highness’s proclamation.”

  _Paris, Dec. 25._--The Commissioners appointed for the Edict of the
  Protestants have not as yet concluded their business, although they
  are very assiduous.

  Mr. de Calonne during his administration created sixty offices of
  stockbrokers for transacting financial business, at the rate of
  100,000 livres each, who had individually a salary of 5000 livres. It
  is in agitation to augment these offices to 100 by adding 40 more.

  _Rotterdam, Dec. 25._--Friday morning the Commissioners of his
  Highness the Stadtholder arrived here, for changing the regency: they
  landed with discharge of cannon and a great concourse of people; they
  were complimented by the burgomasters.

       *       *       *       *       *

  This morning the following ODE for the NEW YEAR, written by Mr.
  WHARTON and set to Music by Mr. PARSONS, will be performed at ST
  JAMES’s.

  I.

      RUDE was the pile, and massy proof,
      That first uprear’d its haughty roof
    On Windsor’s brow sublime, in warlike state;
      The Norman tyrant’s jealous hand
      The giant fabric proudly plann’d;
      With recent victory elate,
      “On this majestic steep,” he cried,
      “A regal fortress, threatening wide,
    Shall spread my terrors to the distant hills,
      Its formidable shade shall throw
      Far o’er the broad expanse below,
    Where winds yon mighty flood, and amply fills
    With flow’ry verdure, or with golden grain,
    The fairest fields that deck my new domain,
    And London’s Towers that reach the watchman’s eye
    Shall see with conscious awe my bulwarks climb the sky.”

  II.

      Unchang’d through many a hardy race
      Stood the rough dome in fallen grace;
    Still on its angry front defiance frown’d,
      Though monarchs kept their state within,
      Still murmur’d with the martial din
      The gloomy gateway arch profound,
      And armed forms in airy rows,
      Bent o’er the battlements their bows,
    And blood-stained banners crown’d its hostile head.
      And oft its hoary ramparts wore
      The rugged scars of conflict sore,
    What time, pavillion’d on the neighb’ring mead
    The indignant Barons rang’d in bright array
    Their feudal bands to curb despotic sway,
    And, leagued a Briton’s birthright to restore,
    From JOHN’s reluctant grasp the roll of freedom bore.

  III.

      When lo, the King that wreathed his shield
      With lilies pluck’d on Cressy’s field
    Heav’d from its base the mouldering Norman frame.
      New glory cloath’d the exulting steep,
      The portals tower’d with ampler sweep,
      And Valour’s softened Genius came,
      Here held his pomp and trained the pall
      Of triumph through the trophied hall;
    And War was clad awhile in gorgeous weeds,
      Amid the martial pageantries;
      While Beauty’s glance adjudged the prize,
    And beamed sweet influence an heroic deeds.
    Nor long ere HENRY’s holy zeal to breath
    A milder charm upon the scenes beneath,
    Rear’d in the watery glade his classic shrine,
    And called his stripling squire to woo the willing Nine.

  IV.

      To this imperial seat to lend
      Its pride supreme, and nobly blend
    British Magnificence with Attic Art.
      Proud Castle, to thy banner’d bowers,
      Lo! Picture bids her glowing powers
      Their bold historic groups impart;
      She bids the illuminated pane,
      Along thy lofty vaulted Fane,
    Shed the dim blaze of radiance richly clear.--
      Still may such arts of peace engage
      Their patron’s care; but should the rage
    Of War to Battle rouse the new-born year,
    Britain, arise, and wake the slumbering fire,
    Vindictive dart thy quick rekindling ire,
    Or armed to strike in mercy, spare the foe,
    And lift thy thundering hand, and then withhold the blow.

  [Illustration]

  OPTICAL EXHIBITION.--No. 331, facing Somerset House, Strand, by his
  Majesty’s Special Appointment, the various beautiful and almost
  incredible effects of Mr. Jones’ new invented Optical Instrument, for
  copying drawings, paintings, natural flowers, insects, &c., it giving
  the true likeness on paper, to any size, either as large as life, or
  as small as miniature, in one minute, with all their proper colours,
  either by day or candle light. Price Two Guineas each, with proper
  directions. Likewise the Reflecting Mirror, at One Guinea, for taking
  perfect Likenesses, Landscapes, &c., and several other curious Optical
  and Mathematical Instruments of New Construction. Admittance One
  Shilling each, to the Exhibition, which will be returned on purchasing
  either of the above instruments, or sitting for an impression Plate
  Likeness.--N.B.--Likenesses taken in miniature, &c.

  Please to observe--facing Somerset House.

  [Illustration]

  VICKERY respectfully informs the ladies that he has new for sale an
  extensive and admirable assortment of Transparent Tetes, as may be
  seen by visiting either his Western or Eastern Magazines. The taste,
  fancy, elegance, convenience, and accommodation of these articles have
  already rendered them the greatest favourites of every Court of
  Europe, and of numbers in Asia, Africa, and America. Nothing can prove
  their utility more than their being so secured to the head that the
  rudest wind will not in the least derange them. Ladies who order these
  beautiful articles are requested to describe whether for young, middle
  aged, or elderly ladies. _No. 6, Tavistock Street_, and _No. 19,
  Bishopsgate Street_, near the London Tavern.

  N.B.--He has also the greatest assortment of braids ready made at all
  prices.

       *       *       *       *       *

  The cheapness, elegance, end durability of the FASHIONABLE FURS sold
  at MELANSCHEG’S MANUFACTORY, No. 333 in the _Strand_, accounts for the
  number of nobility and gentry that daily honor him with their
  preference, and as he makes it his chief study to ensure the most
  distinguished encouragement by the superiority of his goods, we
  hesitate not to declare that we should have been surprised had he
  fail’d of receiving the most flattering encouragement. In patronizing
  works or articles of merit, the public most eminently display their
  taste, spirit, and liberality.

  [Illustration]

  LOVE, Perfumer to HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE DUCHESS OF CUMBERLAND, and
  the principal Nobility, respectfully informs his customers and the
  Public that he is removed from No. 10, in the Haymarket, to next door,
  which is numbered 12, where every article is prepared in the above
  line superior in a degree to any ever vended before in this kingdom,
  which he sells on such low terms as will make it well worth the
  attention of every economist to give his articles a trial. The great
  encouragement he has met with for several years enables him to deduct
  the stamps, notwithstanding his reduced prices, without the least
  diminution of quality, and he returns the money for any articles that
  do not recommend themselves. East and West India orders speedily
  executed, with the most saleable articles, and properly manufactured
  for the climate.

  [Illustration]

  _MARRIED._

  Yesterday, at Walthamstone, by special licence, Samuel Long, Esq., of
  London, to Lady Jane Maitland, daughter of the Earl of Lauderdale.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _DIED._

  Yesterday morning, Mr. John Berens, merchant, in Broad Street.

[Illustration]

  SHIP NEWS.

  The Hope, Walsh, from Waterford to London, was driven on shore in a
  heavy gale, the 22d instant, in Youghall harbour. It is feared the
  ship will go to pieces, but the cargo will be saved.

  _Deal, Dec. 30._ Wind E. Remain, the Wasp sloop, Cockatrice and Nimble
  cutters, and India pilot.

  _Gravesend, Dec. 29._ Passed by, the Young Aaron, Fine, and Two
  Brothers, from Embden; Tado, Skapon, from Stettin; Four Brothers,
  Gillingham, from Boulogne; Dogandraught Dados and Watchful Eye,
  Omarter, from Dantzick; Gibraltar’s Durno, from Alicant; and Duchess
  Devere, Ofree, from Facom.

  Sailed, the Frederick, Condron, for Caen.

  _Gravesend, Dec. 30._ Passed by, the Vrow Tyche, Levice, from
  Groningen; Young Eyder, Swartz, from Embden; and Vrow Helena, Hearse,
  from Settin.

  _Portsmouth, Dec. 30._ Arrived, the Lou, Losseter, from Havre de
  Grace; Hopewell, Howard, from Dover; London, Johnson, from London; and
  Brothers, Price, from Boston.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _Mails._

  _Arrived._

  Two Holland, one French, one Flanders, one
  Irish.

  _Due._

  One Irish.

       *       *       *       *       *

  SHIPS ARRIVED.

  At Liverpool: Commerce, Manchester, from Memel; William Joy, from
  Riga; Mary Anne Priestman, from Virginia; and Ally, Dodson, from
  Dominica.

  At Georgia: William and Mary, Hannah, from London.

  At Bilboa: Liberty, Wilkins, from Boston, and Swallow, Huelin, from
  Jersey.

  At Bonny: Golden Age, Jackson and Brothers, Abram, from Liverpool.

  At Pool: Industry, Wooley; Fame, Bishop; Hebe, Salmon; and Emulation,
  Dempsted, from Newfoundland. Success, Adams, and Swiftstreet, from
  Trepani; and Friends. Kitcat, from Alicant.

       *       *       *       *       *

  PRICES Of STOCKS.

  Bank Stock.
  3 per cent. red., 76⅛.
  3 per cent. con., 77¼ ⅜
  3 per cent., 1726.
  4 per cent., 95⅛ ¼.
  5 per cent.
  Long Ann. 227--16ths.
  Consolidated Ann. 13¾-13-16ths.
  South Sea Stock.
  Old Annuities, 75¼.

  New Annuities.
  3 per cent., 1751.
  Indian Stock.
  Annuities.
  Bonds.
  Navy and Victualling Bills, 2⅛.
  Lot. Tickets, 16l., 13s. 6d. & 13.
  Exchequer Bills.

       *       *       *       *       *

  TO be lett, at the East End of Bermondsey Church-yard, Southwark, a
  House and Garden, with Stabling for two horses.

  For Particulars, enquire of Mr. Hill on the Premises.

       *       *       *       *       *

  WANTED, for a School in the Country, an Assistant capable of teaching
  writing and arithmetic in all their branches. He must be a perfect
  master of English Grammar, and bring an undeniable character from his
  last place in a school.

  Letters, post paid, with specimens and terms, directed to C. H., No.
  81, Cornhill, will be duly noticed.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _SMOAKED SALMON and DUTCH HERRINGS, FINE NEW FRENCH OLIVES, and NEW
  REIN DEER TONGUES._

  VERY Fine Smoaked Salmon, Welsh Oysters, Newfoundland Cods’ Sound, Red
  Herrings, Dutch Herrings, Dutch Beef, Hambro’ Beef in ribs and rolls
  for grating, Rein Deer Tongues, Westphalia Hams, Portugal Hams, and
  Westmoreland Hams.

  Westphalia Tongues, Bologna Tongues, with spices and garlic; Bologna
  Sausages, with and without garlic; exceeding fine-flavoured Gorgona
  Anchovies, fine Capers, superfine Sallard Oil.

  Very curious new French Olives, Lemon Pickle, Camp Vinegar, Elder
  Vinegar, Devonshire Sauce, Zoobdity Match, with a great variety of
  rich Sauces for Fish, Beefsteaks, &c.

  At Burgess’s Warehouse, No. 107, the corner of the Savoy Steps, in the
  Strand.

  N.B. Hambro’ Sour Crout in any quantity.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _NEXT PRESENTATIONS TO LIVINGS._

  TO be sold, the next Presentation to a Rectory in the county of Derby,
  of the annual value of Four Hundred Pounds, the Incumbent eighty years
  of age and upwards. And also the next Presentation to a Rectory of the
  annual value of Two Hundred and Eighty Pounds, in the county of
  Somerset, within twenty miles of Bath and Bristol; the Incumbent
  seventy years of age.

  For particulars and farther information, apply to Messrs. Graham,
  Lincoln’s Inn.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _MIDWIFERY_

  DR. KROHN will commence a New COURSE of LECTURES on the Theory and
  Practice of Midwifery and the Diseases incident to Women and Children,
  on Wednesday, the 9th of January, at a Quarter past Ten o’clock in the
  Morning, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close; and at his house at Four
  o’clock in the Afternoon.

  Proposals may be had of the Apothecary’s Shop of St. Bartholomew’s
  Hospital, at the Middlesex Hospital, and at the Doctor’s, in
  Southampton Street, Strand.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _ANATOMICAL LECTURES._

  MR. JOHN ABERNETHY, Assistant-Surgeon to Bartholomew’s Hospital, will
  begin a COURSE of ANATOMICAL LECTURES, at One o’clock on Saturday, the
  19th of January, at No. 17, Bartholomew Close. Whose proposals may be
  had.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _FREEHOLD IN ESSEX._

  TO be Sold by Private Contract, a substantial new built brick Dwelling
  House, consisting of seven Rooms and a Dressing Closet, two Cellars, a
  Wash-house, with sink and lead pump, well supplied with soft water;
  large Kitchen Garden, Chaise House, and two-stall Stable, and large
  Yard; pleasantly situated, eight miles from town, one from Ilford, and
  four from Romford. For further particulars, enquire of Mr. Wood, at
  the Red Lion, Ilford; and at No. 59, Houndsditch.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _To FAMILIES FURNISHING KITCHENS._

  STONE and Co., No. 134, Oxford Street, and No. 125, Leadenhall Street,
  Manufactors of Double Block Tin and Iron Kitchen Furniture, beg leave
  to inform the public that they have greatly improved their Sets of Tin
  Ware, which renders it the most wholesome and cheapest furniture in
  use, and preferable to others offered to the public, the whole being
  made of Block Tin.

  The following forms a complete Set, which will be replaced with new
  for 2l. 1s. per ann.

                                            l.  s.  d.
  Tea Kettle                                0   5   0
  Coffee and Chocolate pots and mill        0   6   0
  Set of Saucepans                          1   1   0
  Set of Stewpans                           1   5   0
  Set of Soup pots                          1   3   0
  Carp or Fish Kettle                       0  14   0
  Turbot ditto, BT.                         0  14   0
  Boiling Pot, BT.                          0  12   0
  Dutch oven, BT.                           0   4   6
  Cheese Toaster, BT.                       0   3   6
  Cullender and Beer pot                    0   2   6
  Frying pan and Gridiron                   0   6   6
  Spice box and grater                      0   3   6
  Bread grater                              0   1   0
  Flour and pepper box                      0   1   6
  Dripping pan and baster                   0   5   0
  Slice and gravy spoon                     0   3   0
  Skimmer and ladle                         0   3   0
  Set of skewers                            0   2   0
  Two Tart and 12 patty pans                0   5   6
  Six table one egg spoon                   0   4   6
  Two scollops and tinder box               0   2   0
                                            ---------
                                            8   8   0

  N.B. The sets of Iron Furniture consists of the same number of
  articles, and such as are not made of iron are filled up with Block
  Tin. Families in the country wishing to be served with any of the
  above will have their orders punctually executed, and the Tin Ware
  will be sent free of carriage. Warm and cold baths to sell or let.

       *       *       *       *       *

  London, 26 December, 1787.

  IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES.

  With Benefit of Survivorship.

  THE subscribers to the Life Annuities established in Ireland in the
  year 1773, who are to be paid in London, may receive six months’
  annuity due at Christmas last at Messrs. Bolderos, Adey, Lushington,
  and Bolderos, Bankers, No. 30, Cornhill.

  And also the subscribers to the Life Annuities established in Ireland
  1775, who are to be paid in London, may receive six months’ annuity
  due at Christmas last at the same place, in the following manner,
  viz.:--

  The first class in each (consisting of nominees of the age of forty
  years and upwards), from the 15th January to the 18th ditto, both days
  inclusive, from ten in the forenoon until two in the afternoon.

  The second class in each (consisting of nominees of the age of twenty
  years and upwards, but under forty), from the 22nd of January to the
  25th ditto, both days inclusive.

  The third class in each (consisting of nominees under the age of
  twenty years) from the 29th January to the 1st February, both days
  inclusive; and from the 5th ditto to the 8th ditto, both days
  inclusive.

  Those of each class remaining unpaid will be paid every Tuesday,
  Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday following, during the same hours.

  The debentures to be produced, and a certificate of the life of the
  nominee, otherwise a personal appearance will be required; and it is
  particularly requested, upon the demise of the nominee, that the
  debentures may be delivered in as above, to be transmitted to Ireland,
  to render the list of Deaths complete for the future benefit and
  regulation of each class, and as the earliest information should be
  obtained of the occurrences which affect a reversionary property
  wherein so many individuals are concerned. It is further requested of
  any person who may discover any fraud or imposition on these
  annuities, to give notice thereof, with all convenient speed, to the
  Deputy Vice-Treasurer, Treasury Chamber, Dublin, or to Messrs.
  Bolderos, Adey, Lushington, and Bolderos.

  The Public are requested to attend on the days allotted for the
  payment of the different classes, and to take notice that, in case any
  person who by the intent of the Act of Parliament providing for the
  payment of these annuities shall neglect to demand the same for the
  space of three years from the receipt of their last dividend, he or
  she shall for ever lose and forfeit the same, as if his or her
  respective nominee had been dead at the commencement of the said three
  years.

       *       *       *       *       *

  MARQUOIS’ PARALLEL SCALES for Drawing Plans with uncommon accuracy, in
  half the usual time. Sold, warranted correct, only by the Inventor,
  opposite Northumberland House, Charing Cross.

  Mr. MARQUOIS continues as usual to instruct Gentlemen in the Military
  branches of Fortification, Artillery, Gunnery, Mathematics, Drawing,
  &c., &c.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _DIAMONDS AND WATCHES._

  TO be SOLD CHEAP, being second-hand. Two pair of deep earrings; three
  pair of Tops; three large Star Pins; some small ditto and cluster
  Rings; a capital gold horizontal repeater by J. Targent; a ditto by
  Daniel St. Lien; a ditto by Graham; a ditto by Higgs; about thirty
  others, in gold, silver, and metal, by different makers; a pair of
  gold horizontal repeaters with seconds; a watch that strikes the hours
  and quarters as it goes, and repeats at pleasure; an assortment of
  gold horizontal watches by G. Graham, Ellicott, Allam, Perigalt, and
  others; a great number of gold, silver, and metal watches, enamelled,
  plain or engraved, a small Watch fit for a Ring; some Gold Charm and
  Snuff boxes.

  Enquire of Mr. Mason, removed to the Corner of Craven Street, Strand.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _TO COWKEEPERS AND FARMERS._

  By Mr. HUTCHINS,
  By Order of the Proprietor,
  On the Premises, THIS DAY, at Half-Past eleven
  o’clock,

  TWENTY young Milch Cows, five Draught Horses, three Carts with tail
  ladders and copses, part of a Rick of Hay, a Young Breeding Sow and
  two store pigs, a fine Peacock and Hen, a yard Dog and chain, a single
  horse Chaise and Harness, a large quantify of unsifted Dust, Cart
  Harness, and other effects of

  A COW-KEEPER AND FARMER.
  The end of Five Fields Row, Chelsea.

  May be viewed and Catalogues had on the premises, and of Mr. Hutchins,
  King Street, Covent Garden.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ^Sale by Auction.^

  By Mr. HUTCHINS,

  At his Rooms, in King Street, and Hart Street, Covent
  Garden, To-morrow at Twelve o’clock.

  A Small House of very genteel Furniture of a

  GENTLEMAN,

  Brought from his House near Vauxhall in Surrey, comprising an elegant
  white Dimity Bed Furniture; excellent Down and Swan Feather Beds; a
  handsome suit of Drawing room chairs; Sofa and Window curtains; inlaid
  Mahogany Pier Tables; Mahogany Wardrobes; double and single Chests of
  Drawers; Wilton and Turkey Carpets; a superb Register Stove with
  inlaid front; Patent range and ovens; and other valuable effects, the
  whole of which was new within a few months.

  May be viewed and Catalogues had at the Rooms.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ^Sale by Candle.^

  At Garraway’s Coffee House, Exchange Alley, Cornhill On FRIDAY, the
  28th of JANUARY, at Five o’clock in the afternoon,

  THE following GOODS,
  viz.,

  113 Bags St. Domingo Cotton, just landed
  107 packets ditto.
    4 bags Grenada ditto.
    2 ditto Monterrat ditto.
   50 ditto Brazil ditto.
    1 Matt Smyrna ditto, damaged.
    3 casks Sago.
    3 ditto Short long pepper.
   15 sacks Aleppo Galls.
    2 casks Gentian.
   12 ditto Gum Arabic.
    6 ditto Verdigrease.
   10 Bags Smyrna Cotton.
   30 Casks Naples Argot, damaged.

  Catalogues of which will be timely delivered by

  RICHARD KYMER and Co.

       *       *       *       *       *

  At Mr. CROFT’S WAREHOUSE, No. 46, BREAD
  STREET, CHEAPSIDE

  (Without reserve),
  On FRIDAY, the 4th instant, at 4 o’clock,

  A Very Large and Valuable assortment of HABERDASHERY, MANCHESTER
  WOOLLEN DRAPERY and HOSIERY GOODS,

  Particulars of which will be published in due time,

  By JOHN CROFT, Sworn Broker,

  Bread Street, Cheapside.

  N.B.--Two Months’ Prompt.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _At the CUSTOMS HOUSE, COLCHESTER._

  BY ORDER OF THE HONOURABLE COMMISSIONERS
  OF HIS MAJESTY’S CUSTOMS.

  On WEDNESDAY, the 2nd of JANUARY, 1788,
  at Eleven o’clock in the Forenoon,

  WILL be exposed to Public Sale, for Home use, clear of all duties,

  Brandy, 247 Gallons,
  Rum,     61 ditto,

  of the strength of one in six under, and not exceeding one in ten over
  hydrometer proof.

  Geneva, 1560 Gallons,

  of inferior strength, in small lots, for the accommodation and use of
  private families.

  14 Gallons of Red Wine.

  The above goods have been seized and legally condemned, and may be
  viewed on the morning previous to the day of sale.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ^Shipping Advertisements.^

  NEW LLOYD’S Coffee House, over the North West
  part of the Royal Exchange,

  On THURSDAY, the 3rd of JANUARY, 1788, at Twelve
  o’clock precisely,

  [Illustration]

  THE Hull of the Ship STORMONT, built for the Honourable the East India
  Company’s Service, burthen 723 tons or thereabouts, now lying in the
  Greenland Dock, and there to be delivered.

  Immediately after the sale of the above Hull, will be sold, in lots,
  all her anchors, cables, sails, guns, small arms, and all her other
  stores, as mentioned in the catalogues.

  The said stores to be viewed three days preceding the sale, at Messrs.
  Turner’s Wharf, Limehouse.

  Catalogues will be timely delivered by

  THOMAS and ALEX HUBBERT, Brokers,
  No. 11, Mark Lane.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _FOR PRIVATE SALE._

  The Ship HOPE.

  [Illustration]

  BRITISH-built, 170 tons measurement or thereabouts, is extremely
  calculated for the Straits, Carolina, Newfoundland, or Coasting Trade,
  and would make a complete Collier. Is well found in stores, and
  requires very little expense to send her to sea. Now lying at Wapping
  Old Stairs, Charles Blakeney, late Commander.

  For inventories and particulars apply on Board, to
  JAMES and EDWARD OGLE, Brokers,
  No. 7, Billiter Square.

       *       *       *       *       *

  LONDON: Printed for J. WALTER, at the LOGOGRAPHIC PRESS, PRINTING
  HOUSE SQUARE, near APOTHECARIES’ HALL, BLACKFRIARS, where
  Advertisements, Essays, Letters, and Articles of Intelligence will be
  taken in; also at Mr. _Mettenius’s_, Confectioner, Charing Cross; Mr.
  _Whiteaves_, Watchmaker, No. 30, opposite St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet
  Street; Mr. _Axtell’s_, No 1, Finch Lane, Cornhill; at Mr _Bushby’s_,
  No. 1, Catherine Street, Strand; Mr _Rose’s_, Silk Dyes, Spring
  Gardens; and Mr. _Grieve’s_, Stationer, No. 103, corner of Fountain
  Court, Strand.

]

So much for the early struggles of the “Thunderer”--a title given to it
from the powerful articles contributed to it by Edward Stirling--and as
its later efforts in the cause of justice are shown in the _Times_
scholarships at Oxford, as its very appearance betokens its vast
importance, and as its history has been given by many much abler pens
than ours, we will return to our subject.

In 1798, a house in Stanhope Street having been broken open and robbed,
the following singular announcement was issued by the proprietor, and
appeared in the _Daily Advertiser_:--

  MR. R---- of Stanhope Street, presents his most respectful Compliments
  to the Gentlemen who did him the honour of eating a couple of roasted
  Chickens, drinking sundry tankards of ale, and three bottles of old
  Madeira at his house, on Monday night.

  In their haste they took away the Tankard, to which they are heartily
  welcome; to the Tablespoons and the light Guineas which were in an old
  red morocco pocket-book, they are also heartily welcome; but in the
  said Pocket-book there were several loose Papers, which consisted of
  private Memorandums, Receipts, etc. can be of no use to his kind and
  friendly Visitors, but are important to him: he therefore hopes and
  trusts they will be so polite as to take some opportunity of returning
  them.

  For an old family Watch, which was in the same Drawer, he cannot ask
  on the same terms; but if any could be pointed out by which he could
  replace it with twice as many heavy Guineas as they can get for it, he
  would gladly be the Purchaser.

  W. R.

A few nights after, a packet, with the following letter enclosed, was
dropped into the area of the house: “Sir,--You are quite a gemman. Not
being used to your Madeira, it got into our upper works, or we should
never have cribbed your papers; they be all marched back again with the
red book. Your ale was mortal good; the tankard and spoons were made
into a white soup, in Duke’s Place, two hours afore daylite. The old
family watch cases were at the same time made into a brown gravy, and
the guts, new christened, are on their voyage to Holland. If they had
not been transported, you should have them again, for you are quite the
gemman; but you know, as they have been christened, and got a new name,
they would no longer be of your _old_ family. And soe, sir, we have
nothing more to say, but that we are much obligated to you, and shall be
glad to sarve and visit you, by nite or by day, and are your humble
sarvants to command.” Honour had then, it would appear, not quite
departed from among thieves.

At the end of last century a provincial attorney advertised an estate
for sale, or to be exchanged for another, stating that he was appointed
_Plenipotentiary_ to _treat_ in the business; that he had ample
_credentials_, and was prepared to _ratify his powers_; that he would
enter into _preliminaries_ either upon the principle of the _statu quo_
or _uti possidetis_; that he was ready to receive the _project_ of any
person desirous to make the purchase or exchange, and to deliver his
_contre projet_ and _sine quâ non_, and, indeed, at once give his
_ultimatum_, assuring the public that as soon as a _definitive treaty_
should be _concluded_, it would be _ratified_ by his constituent and
duly _guaranteed_. He was evidently astonished at his own unexpected
importance.

Some curious and amusing statistics of advertising in the second year of
this century are given by Mr Daniel Stuart, at one time co-proprietor of
the _Morning Post_ with Coleridge, when it was in the meridian of its
fame. He says: “The _Morning Herald_ and the _Times_, then leading
papers, were neglected, and the _Morning Post_, by vigilance and
activity, rose rapidly. Advertisements flowed in beyond bounds. I
encouraged the small miscellaneous advertisements in the front page,
preferring them to any others, upon the rule that the more numerous the
customers, the more independent and permanent the custom. Besides
numerous and various advertisements, I interest numerous and various
readers looking out for employment, servants, sales, and purchasers,
etc. etc. Advertisements act and react. They attract readers, promote
circulation, and circulation attracts advertisements. The _Daily
Advertiser_, which sold to the public for twopence halfpenny, after
paying a stamp-duty of three-halfpence, never had more than half a
column of news; it never noticed Parliament, but it had the best foreign
intelligence before the French Revolution. The _Daily Advertiser_ lost
by its publication, but it gained largely by its advertisements, with
which it was crammed full. Shares in it sold by auction at twenty years’
purchase. I recollect my brother Peter saying, that on proposing to a
tradesman to take shares in a new paper, he was answered with a sneer
and a shake of the head--‘Ah! none of you can touch the _Daily_!’ It was
the paper of business, filled with miscellaneous advertisements,
conducted at little expense, very profitable, and taken in by all
public-houses, coffee-houses, etc., but by scarcely any private
families. It fell in a day by the scheme of Grant, a printer, which made
all publicans proprietors of a rival, the _Morning Advertiser_, the
profits going to a publicans’ benefit society; and they, of course, took
in their own paper;--an example of the danger of depending on any class.
Soon after I joined the _Morning Post_, in the autumn of 1795, Christie,
the auctioneer, left it, on account of its low sale, and left a blank, a
ruinous proclamation of decline. But in 1802 he came to me again,
praying for readmission. At that time particular newspapers were known
to possess particular classes of advertisements: the _Morning Post_,
horses and carriages; the _Public Ledger_, shipping and sales of
wholesale foreign merchandise; the _Morning Herald_ and _Times_,
auctioneers; the _Morning Chronicle_, books. All papers had all sorts of
advertisements, it is true, but some were more remarkable than others
for a particular class, and Mr Perry, who aimed at making the _Morning
Chronicle_ a very literary paper, took pains to produce a striking
display of book advertisements. This display had something more solid
for its object than vanity. Sixty or seventy short advertisements,
filling three columns, by Longman, one day, by Cadell, etc.,
another--‘Bless me, what an extensive business they must have!’ The
auctioneers to this day stipulate to have all their advertisements
inserted at once, that they may impress the public with great ideas of
their extensive business. They will not have them dribbled out, a few at
a time, as the days of sale approach. The journals have of late years
adopted the same rule with the same design. They keep back
advertisements, fill up with pamphlets, and other stuff unnecessary to a
newspaper, and then come out with a swarm of advertisements in a double
sheet to astonish their readers, and strike them with high ideas of the
extent of their circulation, which attracts so many advertisers. The
meagre days are forgotten, the days of swarm are remembered.”

In the same gossiping manner Stuart speaks again of this rage for
swarming advertisements: “The booksellers and others crowded to the
_Morning Post_, when its circulation and character raised it above all
competitors. Each was desirous of having his cloud of advertisements
inserted at once in the front page. I would not drive away the short,
miscellaneous advertisements by allowing space to be monopolised by any
class. When a very long advertisement of a column or two came, I charged
enormously high, that it might be taken away without the parties being
able to say it was refused admission. I accommodated the booksellers as
well as I could with a few new and pressing advertisements at a time.
That would not do: they would have the cloud; then, said I, there is no
place for the cloud but the last page, where the auctioneers already
enjoy that privilege. The booksellers were affronted, indignant. The
last page! To obtain the accommodation refused by the _Morning Post_,
they set up a morning paper, the _British Press_; and to oppose the
_Courier_, an evening one--the _Globe_. Possessed of general influence
among literary men, could there be a doubt of success?” The _Globe_ has
stood the test of time, and though it has seen vicissitudes, and has
changed its politics within recent years, it now seems as firmly
established as any of its contemporaries that is independent of
connection with a morning paper.

       *       *       *       *       *

We have now reached the end of our journey so far as the education of
advertisers and the development of advertisements are concerned. By the
commencement of the present century matters were very nearly as we find
them now; and so in the following chapters only those examples which
have peculiar claims to attention will be submitted.




CHAPTER XI.

_CURIOUS AND ECCENTRIC ADVERTISEMENTS._


Advertisements of the kind which form the subject of this chapter have
been so often made matter of comment and speculation, have so often
received the attention of essayists and the ridicule of comic writers,
that it is hard to keep out of the beaten track, and to find anything
fresh to say upon a topic which seems utterly exhausted. Yet the store
of fun is so great, and the excellence of many old and new stories so
undoubted, that courage is easily found for this the most difficult part
of the present work. Difficult, because there is an embarrassment of
riches, an enormous mine of wealth, at command, and the trouble is not
what to put in, but what to leave out, from a chapter on quaint and
curious advertisements. Difficult again, because some of the best
stories have been told in so many and such various guises, that until
arriving at the ends it is hard to tell they have a common origin, and
then the claims of each version are as near as possible equal. There is,
however, a way out of all difficulties, and the way in this is to verify
the advertisements themselves, and pay no attention to the apocrypha to
which they give rise; and though it is a tedious proceeding, and one
which shows little in return for the pains taken, it may be something to
our readers to know, that curious as many of the specimens given are,
they are real and original, and that in the course of our researches we
have unearthed many impostures in the way of quotations from
advertisements which have never yet appeared, unless private views of
still more private copies of papers have been allowed their
promulgators. There is, after all, little reason for a display of
inventive power, for the real material is so good, and withal so
natural, as to completely put the finest fancy to a disadvantage. It has
already been remarked that in the whole range of periodical literature
there is no greater curiosity than the columns daily devoted to
advertisements in the _Times_. From them, says a writer a few years
back, “the future historian will be able to glean ample and correct
information relative to the social habits, wants, and peculiarities of
this empire. How we travel, by land or sea--how we live, and move, and
have our being--is fully set forth in the different announcements which
appear in a single copy of that journal. The means of gratifying the
most boundless desires, or the most fastidious taste, are placed within
the knowledge of any one who chooses to consult its crowded columns.
Should a man wish to make an excursion to any part of the globe between
Cape Horn and the North Pole, to any port in India, to Australia, to
Africa, or to China, he can, by the aid of one number of the _Times_,
make his arrangements over his breakfast. In the first column he will
find which ‘A 1 fine, fast-sailing, copper-bottomed’ vessel is ready to
take him to any of those distant ports. Or, should his travelling
aspirations be of a less extended nature, he can inform himself of the
names, size, horse-power, times of starting, and fares, of numberless
steamers which ply within the limits of British seas. Whether, in short,
he wishes to be conveyed five miles--from London to Greenwich--or three
thousand--from Liverpool to New York--information equally conclusive is
afforded him. The head of the second, or sometimes the third column, is
interesting to a more extensive range of readers--namely, to the
curious; for it is generally devoted to what may be called the romance
of advertising. The advertisements which appear in that place are
mysterious as melodramas, and puzzling as rebuses.” These incentives to
curiosity will receive attention a little further on; meanwhile we will
turn to those which are purely curious or eccentric.

The record of these notices to the public is so extensive, and its
ramifications so multifarious, that so far as those advertisements which
simply contain blunders are concerned, we must be satisfied with a
simple summary, and in many cases leave our readers to make their own
comments. Here is a batch of those whose comicality is mainly dependent
upon sins against the rules of English composition. We will commence
with the reward offered for “a keyless lady’s gold watch,” which is,
though, but a faint echo of the “green lady’s parasol” and the “brown
silk gentleman’s umbrella” anecdotes; but the former we give as actually
having appeared, while so far the two latter require verification. A
lady advertises her desire to obtain a husband with “a Roman nose having
strong religious tendencies.” A nose with heavenly tendencies we can
imagine, but even then it would not be Roman. “A spinster particularly
fond of children,” informs the public that she “wishes for two or three
having none of her own.” Then a dissenter from grammar as well as from
the Church Established wants “a young man to look after a horse of the
Methodist persuasion;” a draper desires to meet with an assistant who
would “take an active and energetic interest in a small first-class
trade, and in a quiet family;” and a chemist requests that “the
gentleman who left his stomach for analysis, will please call and get
it, together with the result.” Theatrical papers actually teem with
advertisements which, either from technology or an ignorance of literary
law, are extremely funny, and sometimes alarming, and even the editorial
minds seem at times to catch the infection. One of these journals, in a
puff preliminary of a benefit, after announcing the names of the
performers and a list of the performances, went on: “Of course every one
will be there, and for the edification of those who are absent, a full
report will be found in our next paper.” This is worthy of a place in
any collection: “One pound reward--Lost, a cameo brooch, representing
Venus and Adonis on the Drumcondra-road, about ten o’clock, on Tuesday
evening.” And so is this: “The advertiser, having made an advantageous
purchase, offers for sale, on very low terms, about six dozen of prime
port wine, late the property of a gentleman forty years of age, full in
the body and with a high bouquet.” The lady spoken of in the following
would meet with some attention from the renowned Barnum: “To be sold
cheap, a splendid grey horse, calculated for a charger, or would carry a
lady with a switch tail.” But she would find a formidable rival in the
gentleman whose advertisement we place as near as possible, so as to
make a pair: “To be sold cheap, a mail phaeton, the property of a
gentleman with a moveable head, as good as new.” Students of
vivisection, and lovers of natural history generally, would have been
glad to meet with this specimen of life after decapitation: “Ten
shillings reward--Lost by a gentleman, a white terrier dog, except the
head, which is black.” And as congenial company we append this: “To be
sold, an Erard grand piano, the property of a lady, about to travel in a
walnut wood case with carved legs.”

Differing somewhat, though still of the same kind, is the advertisement
of a governess, who, among other things, notifies that “she is a perfect
mistress of her own tongue.” If she means what she says, she deserves a
good situation and a high rate of wages. An anecdote is told of a
wealthy widow who advertised for an agent, and, owing to a printer’s
error, which made it “a gent,” she was inundated with applications by
letter, and pestered by personal attentions. This story requires,
however, a little assistance, and may be taken for what it is worth. Not
long ago, a morning paper contained an announcement that a lady going
abroad would give “a medical man” £100 a year to look after “a
favourite spaniel dog” during her absence. This may not be funny, but it
is certainly curious, and in these days, when starvation and misery are
rampant, when men are to be found who out of sheer love kill their
children rather than trust them to the tender mercies of the parish
officials, and when these same officials are proved guilty of
constructive homicide, it is indeed noticeable. A kindred advertisement,
also real and unexaggerated, asks for “an accomplished poodle nurse.
Wages £1 per week.” This has double claims upon our attention here, for
in addition to the amount offered for such work, there is a doubt as to
the actual thing required. Is it a nurse for accomplished poodles, or an
accomplished nurse? And, if the latter, what in the name of goodness and
common sense is accomplishment at such work? Do poodles require peculiar
nursery rhymes and lullabies, or are they nursed, as a vulgar error has
it about West-country babies, head downwards? This is not the exact
expression used with regard to the infants; but it will do. We will
conclude this short list of peculiarities with two which deserve notice.
The first is the notice of a marriage, which ends, “No cards, no cake,
no wine.” This is evidently intended for friends other than those “at a
distance,” whose polite attention is so constantly invoked. The
remaining specimen appeared in the _Irish Times_, and runs thus: “To
Insurance Offices.--Whatever office the late William H. O’Connell, M.D.
life was insured will please to communicate or call on his widow, 23
South Frederick Street, without delay.” One hardly knows which to admire
most, the style or the _insouciance_ of the demand.

Of curious advertisements which are such independent of errors,
selfishness, or moral obliquity, we have in the purely historical part
of this work given plenty specimens from olden times; but there are
still a few samples of the peculiarities of our ancestors which will
bear repetition in this chapter, more especially as most of them have
not before been unearthed from their original columns. Before quoting
any of those which are purely advertisements in the ordinary sense of
the word, we will present to our readers a curious piece of puffery
which appeared in an Irish paper for May 30, 1784, and which from its
near connection with open and palpable advertising, and from its
whimsical character, will not be at all out of place, and will doubtless
prove interesting, especially to those of a theatrical turn of mind, as
it refers to the gifted Sarah Siddons’s first appearance in Dublin. The
article runs thus: “On Saturday, Mrs Siddons, about whom all the world
has been talking, exposed her beautiful, adamantine, soft, and lovely
person, for the first time, at Smock-Alley Theatre, in the bewitching,
melting, and all-tearful character of _Isabella_. From the repeated
panegyrics in the impartial London newspapers, we were taught to expect
the sight of a heavenly angel; but how were we supernaturally surprised
into the most awful joy, at beholding a mortal goddess. The house was
crowded with hundreds more than it could hold,--with thousands of
admiring spectators, that went away without a sight. This extraordinary
phenomenon of tragic excellence! this star of Melpomene! this comet of
the stage! this sun of the firmament of the Muses! this moon of blank
verse! this queen and princess of tears! this Donnellan of the poisoned
bowl! this empress of the pistol and dagger! this chaos of Shakspeare!
this world of weeping clouds! this Juno of commanding aspects! this
Terpsichore of the curtains and scenes! this Proserpine of fire and
earthquake! this Katterfelto of wonders! exceeded expectation, went
beyond belief, and soared above all the natural powers of description!
She was nature itself! She was the most exquisite work of art! She was
the very daisy, primrose, tuberose, sweet-brier, furze-blossom,
gilliflower, wall-flower, cauliflower, auricula, and rosemary! In short,
she was the bouquet of Parnassus! Where expectation was raised so high,
it was thought she would be injured by her appearance; but it was the
audience who were injured:--several fainted before the curtain drew up!
When she came to the scene of parting with her wedding-ring, ah! what a
sight was there! the very fiddlers in the orchestra, ‘albeit, unused to
the melting mood,’ blubbered like hungry children crying for their bread
and butter; and when the bell rang for music between the acts, the tears
ran from the bassoon players’ eyes in such plentiful showers, that they
choked the finger stops; and making a spout of the instrument, poured in
such torrents on the first fiddler’s book, that, not seeing the overture
was in two sharps, the leader of the band actually played in one flat.
But the sobs and sighs of the groaning audience, and the noise of corks
drawn from the smelling-bottles, prevented the mistake between flats and
sharps being discovered. One hundred and nine ladies fainted! forty-six
went into fits! and ninety-five had strong hysterics! The world will
scarcely credit the truth, when they are told, that fourteen children,
five old women, one hundred tailors, and six common-councilmen, were
actually drowned in the inundation of tears that flowed from the
galleries, the slips, and the boxes, to increase the briny pond in the
pit; the water was three feet deep; and the people that were obliged to
stand upon the benches, were in that position up to their ankles in
tears! An Act of Parliament against her playing any more will certainly
pass.” As this effusion appeared almost immediately after the famous
actress’s first appearance, we are hardly wrong in considering it as
half an advertisement. It must certainly have helped to draw good houses
during the rest of her stay.

Lovers of the gentle craft maybe interested to know that what was
perhaps the earliest advertisement of Izaak Walton’s famous little book
“The Compleat Angler” was published in one of Wharton’s Almanacs. It is
on the back of the dedication-leaf to “Hemeroscopeion: Anni Æra
Christianæ, 1654.” Hemeroscopeion was William Lilly, and the almanac
appeared in 1653, the year in which Walton’s book was printed. The
advertisement says:--

  There is published a Booke of Eighteen-pence price, called _The
  Compleat Angler_, Or, _The Contemplative man’s Recreation_: being a
  Discourse of Fish and Fishing. Not unworthy the perusall. Sold by
  _Richard Marriot_ in S. _Dunstan’s_ Church-yard, _Fleetstreet_.

The publication of births, marriages, and deaths seems to have begun
almost as soon as newspapers were in full swing. At first only the names
of the noble and eminent were given, but soon the notices got into much
the same form as we now find them. One advantage of the old style was
that the amount a man died worth was generally given, though how the
exact sum was known directly he died passes our comprehension, unless it
was then the fashion to give off the secret with the latest breath. Even
under such circumstances we should hesitate to believe some people of
our acquaintance, who have tried now and again, but have never yet
succeeded in telling the truth about their own affairs or those of their
relatives. And doubtless many an heir felt sadly disappointed, on taking
his property, to find it amount to less than half of the published sum.
Notices of marriages and deaths were frequent before the announcement of
births became fashionable; and in advertisements the real order of
things has been completely changed, as obituaries began, marriages
followed, and births came last of all. In the first number of the
_Gentleman’s Magazine_, January 1731, we find deaths and marriages
published under separate heads, and many papers of the time did
likewise. The _Grub Street Journal_ gave them among the summary of
Domestic News, each particular item having the initials of the paper
from which it was taken appended, as was done with all other information
under the same head; for which purpose there was at the top of the
article the information that C. meant _Daily Courant_, P. _Daily
Post-Boy_, D. P. _Daily Post_, D. J. _Daily Journal_, D. A. _Daily
Advertiser_, S. J. _St James’s Evening Post_, W. E. _Whitehall Evening
Post_, and L. E. _London Evening Post_. In the number for February 7,
1734, we find this:--

  _Died_ last night at his habitation in Pall-mall, in a very advanced
  age, count Kilmanseck, who came over from Hanover with King George I.
  _S. J._--At his lodgings. _L. E._ _D. A. Feb. 1._--Aged about 70. _P.
  Feb. 1._----Of the small-pox, after 8 days illness, in his 23d year
  count Kilmansegg, son of the countess of Kilmansegg, who came over
  from Hanover the beginning of the last reign. _D. P. Feb. 1._--He came
  over with his highness the prince of Orange, as one of his gentlemen.
  _D. J. Feb. 1._--_Tho’_ Mr Conundrum _cannot_ account _for these
  different_ accounts _of these two_ German counts, _yet he_ counts _it
  certain, that the younger_ count _was the_ son of the countess, who
  came over _from the_ county _of_ Hanover.

About the same time we find in the same paper another paragraph worthy
of notice:--

  _Died_, last week at Acton, George Villers, Esq; formerly page of the
  preference to queen Anne, said to have died worth 30,000l.--Mr Ryley,
  a pay-master serjeant, as he was drinking a pint of beer at the Savoy.
  _D. J._--On friday Mr Feverel, master of the bear and rummer tavern in
  Gerard-street, who was head cook to king William and queen Anne,
  reputed worth 40,000l. _P._--Mr Favil. _D. P._--Mr Favel. _D. J._--Mr
  Fewell, 21,000l. _D. A._

On March 14, also of 1734, there is this:--

  _Died_ on tuesday in Tavistock-street, Mr Mooring, an eminent mercer,
  that kept Long’s warehouse, said to have died worth 60,000l. _D.
  J._--_This was 5 days before he did die, and_ 40,000l. _more than he_
  died worth _according to_ D. P. _Mar. 12_.

And on the 28th this:--

  _Died_ yesterday morning admiral Mighelles. _C._--Mighells.
  _P._--Mighills. _D. P._--A gentleman belonging to the earl of Grantham
  was found dead in his bed. _P._

And so on, there being announcements in every number, many of which
showed differences in the daily-paper notices. There are also plenty of
marriage announcements, which, as a rule, give the amounts obtained with
the ladies, and sometimes the gentlemen’s fortunes. The following is
from the _G. S. J._ of February 21, 1734:--

  _Married_, yesterday at S. James’s church by the right rev. Dr Hen.
  Egerton, lord bishop of Hereford, the hon. Francis Godolphin, of
  Scotland-yard, Esq; to the 3d daughter of the countess of Portland, a
  beautiful lady of 50,000l. fortune. _P._--Will. Godolphin, Esq; to the
  lady Barbara Bentinck, &c. _D. P._--At the chapel-royal, at S.
  James’s: youngest daughter, &c. _D. J._ _D. A._

A few weeks later on there is this:--

  _Married_ this day the countess of Deloraine, governess to the
  princesses Mary and Louisa, to Will. Wyndham, Esq; son to the late
  col. Wyndham. _L. E._--_They were not_ married _’till_ 10 at night.

And on April 25 this:--

  _Married_ a few days since -- Price, a Buckinghamshire gentleman of
  near 2000l. per ann. to miss Robinson of the Theatre Royal in
  Drury-lane. _L. E._--On tuesday, the lord Visc. Faulkland to the lady
  Villew, relict of the late lord Faukland, a lady of great merit and
  fortune. _D. P._--Mr Price’s marriage is entirely false and
  groundless. _D. A. Ap. 24._

There are in the _Journal_, as well as in contemporary and earlier
papers, occasional references to births as well, but none calling for
any comment at our hands. In the _Gentleman’s Magazine_ of February 1736
there are two notices of deaths, one commencing the list, which is
curious, and the other immediately following, which cannot fail to be
interesting:--

  SIR _Brownlowe Sherard_, Bt in _Burlington_ Gardens. He was of a human
  Disposition, kind to his Servants dislik’d all extravagant Expence,
  but very liberal of his Fortune, as well to his Relations and Friends,
  as to Numbers of distressed Objects; and in particular, to St.
  _George’s_ Hospital, near _Hyde-Park Corner_.

  _Bernard Lintott_, Esq., formerly an eminent Bookseller in
  _Fleet-street_. High Sheriff for Sussex, aged 61.

Also the Earl of Derby, and several men who are noted to have died worth
sums varying from £13,000 to £100,000, find obituary notices. These give
particulars of the lives of the deceased, and the ways in which the
various properties are disposed of, very different from the short
announcements of modern days. Thus we find that by the death of the Hon.
Walter Chetwynd, the barony of Rathdown in the county of Dublin, and
viscounty of Chetwynd of Beerhaven in the county of Cork, both in the
peerage of Ireland, became extinct, but that his brother, John Chetwynd,
was consoled by an estate of £3000 per annum; that Mrs Eliza Barber
succumbed to “an illness she had contracted in Newgate on a prosecution
of her master, a baronet of Leicestershire, of which being honourably
acquitted, and a copy of her indictment granted, she had brought an
action of £1000 damages;” that Mr Fellows was an eminent sugar-baker;
and that Gilbert Campbell had during his life got himself into trouble
for misinterpreting his duties as an attorney. The marriage lists have
also the admirable fashion of giving the sums of money obtained with the
brides or bridegrooms as the case may be, and in some instances the
amounts of revenue.

In the _London Journal_ of February 7, 1730, there is the following,
which shows that the presentation of advertisement-books gratis is by no
means a novelty:--

  _At the_ New Masquerade Warehouse _in_ Henrietta Street, Covent
  Garden, _are given gratis_.

  PRINTED Speeches, Jokes, Jests, Conundrums and smart Repartees, suited
  to each Habit, by which Gentlemen and Ladies may be qualified to speak
  what is proper to their respective Characters. Also some Dialogues for
  two or more Persons, particularly between a Cardinal and a Milkmaid; a
  Judge and a Chimney-sweeper; a Venetian Courtezan and a Quaker; with
  one very remarkable between a Devil, a Lawyer and an Orange Wench. At
  the same place is to be spoke with Signor ROSARIO, lately arrived from
  Venice, who teaches Gentlemen and Ladies the behaviour proper for a
  Devil, a Courtezan, or any other Character. And whereas it is a
  frequent practice for Gentlemen to appear in the Habits of Ladies, and
  Ladies in the habits of Gentlemen, Signor ROSARIO teaches the Italian
  manner of acting in both capacities. The Quality of both Sexes may be
  waited on and instructed at their Houses.

Also in 1730 two Roman histories, translated from the French by two
Jesuit priests, appeared at the same time--one by Mr Ozell, the other by
Mr Bundy--which caused the following advertisement to be inserted by the
publishers of Ozell’s work:--

  ^This Day is Publish’d^

  _What will satisfy such as have bought Mr Ozell’s Translation of the_
  ROMAN HISTORY, _and also undeceive such of Mr Bundy’s Friends as are
  more Friends to Truth:_

  _Number I._ of the

  HERCULEAN LABOUR: or the AUGÆAN STABLE cleansed of its heaps of
  historical, philological, and Geographical Trumpery. Being Serious and
  facetious Remarks by Mr Ozell, on some thousands of capital and
  comical Mistakes, Oversights, Negligences, Ignorances, Omissions,
  Misconstructions, Mis-nomers and other Defects, in the folio
  Translation of the ROMAN HISTORY by the Rev. Mr BUNDY.

  A witty Foreigner upon reading an untrue Translation of Cæsar’s
  Commentaries, said: “It was a wicked Translation, for the Translator
  had not rendered unto Cæsar the things which were Cæsar’s.”

  With equal truth tho’ less wit, may it be said the Translator of the
  ROMAN HISTORY has not paid the Rev. authors the TYTHE of their DUES;
  which in one of the same cloth is the more unpardonable.

  The Money is to be returned by Mr Ozell, to any Gentleman, who, after
  reading it shall come (or send a letter to him in Arundel Street, in
  the Strand) and declare upon Honour, he does not think the Book worth
  the Money.

In the _Bristol Gazette_ for Thursday, August 28, 1788, among
advertisements of the ordinary kind, some of which are noticeable as
emanating from Robert and Thomas Southey, we find the following:--

  _Swansea_ and _Bristol_ DILIGENCE,
  To carry THREE INSIDES.

  WILL set out from the Mackworth-Arms, _Swansea_, on Wednesday the 18th
  of June, and continue every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at
  four o’clock; and will arrive early the same evening at the New
  Passage, where a good boat will be waiting to take the Passengers
  over, and a Coach ready at eight o’clock the next morning to carry
  them to _Bristol_.

  Also a LIGHT COACH will set out every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday
  afternoon at five o’clock, from the WHITE LION, to meet the above
  Diligence.

  Fare from Bristol to Swansea 1l. 10s., passage included.

  Short passengers the same as the Mail Coach.

  N.B.--Parcels carried on moderate terms, and expeditiously delivered;
  but no parcels will be accounted for above 5l. value, unless entered
  as such and paid for accordingly.

  Performed by
  J. LAKE, Mackworth-Arms, Swansea.
  C. NOTT, Ship and Castle, Neath.
  C. BRADLEY, Bear, Cowbridge.
  J. BRADLEY, Angel, Cardiff.
  M. HOGGARD, New Passage.
  R. CHURCH, New Passage.
  W. CARR, White Lion, Bristol.

  N.B. A COACH every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday morning, at seven
  o’clock, from the White Lion to the New Passage.

It is to be presumed that the line about short passengers refers to
those who travel short journeys only, though a friend of ours, himself a
Welshman, makes several jocular allusions to the conditions that used in
the days of travelling by road in and about the Principality to be
imposed on people of less than the average height. As these will be some
day published in a volume, the title of which is already decided
upon--“Cheese and Chuckles; or, Leeks and Laughter”--and which is
intended for distribution among the bards at the annual Eisteddfod, we
will not discount the sensation then to be derived from their
publication, more especially as we have tried in vain and failed to
understand them.

For those who take such interest in the poet Southey that anything
connected with his family is regarded with favour, we present the
following, from the same number of the _Bristol Gazette_, which was
kindly forwarded by a gentleman on hearing that this work was in
progress:--

  DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP.

  THE PARTNERSHIP between ROBERT and THOMAS SOUTHEY, _Linen-drapers_,
  &c., of this city, was by mutual consent dissolved on the 21st of July
  last; all persons to whom the said partnership stood indebted, are to
  send their accounts to ROBERT SOUTHEY, Wine-street, and the persons
  indebted to them, are respectfully requested to pay the same to the
  said ROBERT SOUTHEY, who continues the trade as usual.

  ROBERT SOUTHEY.
  THOMAS SOUTHEY.

  BRISTOL, August 8th, 1788.

[Illustration]

  R. SOUTHEY, thanks his friends in particular and the public in
  general, for the kind support he has hitherto experienced, and begs
  leave to inform them, that he is just returned from London with a
  large assortment of goods; particularly fine printed CALLICOES,
  MUSLINS, and LACE, which he is determined to sell on as low terms as
  any person in the trade, and solicits the early inspection of his
  friends.

  N.B.--Part of the old Stock to be sold very cheap.

There is also an advertisement in the paper from Thomas Southey, who has
taken up quarters in Close Street, soliciting custom and describing his
wares. Our correspondent, who is a gentleman of position at Neath, and
whose veracity is undoubted, says: “My father was a correspondent of
Southey’s, and in one of his letters Southey says he was very nearly
settling in our Vale of Neath, in a country house, the owner of which
was a strong Tory, but as Southey at that early period of his life was a
great Radical, he was not allowed to rent the property! If this had not
been so, he says, ‘my children would have been _Cam_brian instead of
_Cum_brian.’”

Among other old customs now fast falling into desuetude, there is in
Cumberland and some other parts of the north of England a practice known
as the Bridewain, which consists of the public celebration of weddings.
A short time after courtship is commenced--as soon as the date of the
marriage is fixed--the lovers give notice of their intentions, and on
the day named all their friends for miles around assemble at the
intending bridegroom’s house, and join in various pastimes. A plate or
bowl is generally fixed in a convenient place, where each of the company
contributes in proportion to his inclination and ability, and according
to the degree of respect the couple are held in. By this custom a worthy
pair have frequently been benefited with a sum of from fifty to a
hundred pounds. The following advertisement for such a meeting is copied
from the _Cumberland Pacquet_, 1786:--

  INVITATION.

    Suspend for one day your cares and your labours,
    And come to this wedding, kind friends and good neighbours.

  NOTICE is hereby given that the marriage of ISAAC PEARSON with FRANCES
  ATKINSON will be solemnized in due form in the parish church of
  Lamplugh, in Cumberland, on Tuesday next, the 30th of May inst.;
  immediately after which the bride and bridegroom with their attendants
  will proceed to Lonefoot, in the said parish, where the nuptials will
  be celebrated by a variety of rural entertainments.

              Then come one and all
              At Hymen’s soft call
    From Whitehaven, Workington, Harrington, Dean,
    Hail, Ponsonby, Blaing and all places between,
    From Egremont, Cockermouth, Barton, St Bee’s,         }
    Cint, Kinnyside, Calder and parts such as these;      }
    And the country at large may flock in if they please. }
    Such sports there will be as have seldom been seen,
    Such wrestling, and fencing and dancing between,
    And races for prizes, for frolick and fun,       }
    By horses, and asses, and dogs will be run       }
    That you’ll all go home happy--as sure as a gun. }
    In a word, such a wedding can ne’er fail please;
    For the sports of Olympus were trifles to these.

    Nota Bene.--You’ll please to observe that the day
    Of this grand bridal pomp is the thirtieth of May,
    When ’tis hop’d that the sun, to enliven the sight,
    Like the flambeau of Hymen, will deign to burn bright.

These invitations were at this period far from rare, and another,
calling folk to a similar festival, appeared in the same paper in
1789:--

  BRIDEWAIN.

    There let Hymen oft appear
    In saffron robe and taper clear,
    And pomp and feast and revelry,
    With mask and antic pageantry;
    Such sights as youthful poets dream,
    On summer eves by haunted stream.

  GEORGE HAYTON, who married ANNE, the daughter of Joseph and Dinah
  Colin, of Crosby Mill, purposes having a BRIDEWAIN at his house, at
  Crosby near Maryport, on Thursday the 7th day of May next, where he
  will be happy to see his friends and well-wishers, for whose amusement
  there will be a variety of races, wrestling matches, etc. etc. The
  prizes will be--a saddle, two bridles, a pair of _gands d’amour_
  gloves, which whoever wins is sure to be married within the
  twelvemonth; a girdle (_ceinture de Venus_) possessing qualities not
  to be described; and many other articles, sports and pastimes too
  numerous to mention, but which can never prove tedious in the
  exhibition.

    From fashion’s laws and customs free,
    We follow sweet variety;
    By turns we laugh and dance and sing;
    Time’s for ever on the wing;
    And nymphs and swains of Cumbria’s plain
    Present the golden age again.

A similar advertisement appears in the _Pacquet_ in 1803, and contains
some verses of a kind superior to that generally met in these appeals.
It is called

  A PUBLIC BRIDAL.

  JONATHAN and GRACE MUSGRAVE purpose having a PUBLIC BRIDAL at Low
  Lorton Bridge End, near Cockermouth, on THURSDAY, the 16th of June,
  1803; when they will be glad to see their Friends, and all who may
  please to favour them with their Company;--for whose Amusement there
  will be various RACES, for Prizes of different kinds; and amongst
  others, a Saddle, and Bridle; and a Silver-tipt Hunting Horn, for
  Hounds to run for.--There will also be Leaping, Wrestling, &c. &c.

  ☞ Commodious ROOMS are likewise engaged for DANCING PARTIES, in the
  Evening.

    Come, haste to the BRIDAL!--to Joys we invite You,
      Which, help’d by the Season, to please You can’t fail:
    But should LOVE, MIRTH, and SPRING strive in vain to delight You,
      You’ve still the _mild_ Comforts of LORTON’S sweet VALE.

    And where does the GODDESS more charmingly revel?
      Where ZEPHYR dispense a more health-chearing Gale,
    Than where the pure _Cocker_, meandring the Level,
      Adorns the calm Prospects of LORTON’S sweet VALE?

    To the BRIDAL then come;--taste the Sweets of our Valley;
      Your Visit, _good Cheer_ and _kind Welcome_ shall hail.
    Round the _Standard_ of OLD ENGLISH CUSTOM, we’ll rally,--
      And be blest in _Love_, _Friendship_, and LORTON’S sweet VALE.

A correspondent, writing in Hone’s Table-Book, date August 1827, says it
was in the early part of the century “a prevalent custom to have ‘bidden
weddings’ when a couple of respectability and of slender means were on
the eve of marriage; in this case they gave publicity to their
intentions through the medium of the _Cumberland Pacquet_, a paper
published at Whitehaven, and which about twenty-nine years ago was the
only newspaper printed in the county. The editor, Mr John Ware, used to
set off the invitation in a novel and amusing manner, which never failed
to insure a large meeting, and frequently the contributions made on the
occasion, by the visitors, were of so much importance to the new-married
couple that by care and industry they were enabled to make so good ‘a
fend as niver to look ahint them.’” That this or a similar custom was
practised commonly a generation ago in Wales, where it is even now
occasional, a notice issued from Carmarthen shows. It is peculiar, and
runs thus:--

  CARMARTHEN, April 12, 1836.

  AS we intend to enter the MATRIMONIAL STATE on THURSDAY, the 5th of
  MAY next, we are encouraged by our Friends to make a BIDDING on the
  occasion the same Day, at the Sign of the ANGEL, situate in
  LAMMAS-STREET; when and where the favour of your good and agreeable
  Company is most humbly solicited, and whatever donation you may be
  pleased to confer on us then, will be thankfully received, warmly
  acknowledged, and cheerfully repaid whenever called for on a similar
  occasion,

  By your most obedient humble Servants,

  DAVID DANIEL
  (Shoemaker,)

  RUTH EVANS.

  THE Young Man, and his Mother, (Mary Daniel,) and his Brother and
  Sister (Joshua and Anne,) desire that all gifts of the above nature
  due to them, be returned on the said Day, and will be thankful for all
  favours granted.

  Also, the Young Woman, and her Mother (Sarah Evans,) and her
  Grand-father and Grand-mother (John and Frances Evans,) desire that
  all Gifts of the above nature due to them, be returned on the above
  Day, and will be thankful with her Uncle and Aunt (Benjamin and
  Margaret Evans, Penrhywcoion,) for all additional favours granted.

The applications made by means of the notes which follow the
advertisement show that the promise made by David and Ruth to repay all
amounts when called upon is something more than a mere flourish. We
should not like, though, to guarantee that these promises were always
kept, and have no doubt that the concocters of the foregoing found, as
so many others did before them, and not a few have done since, that
kindness is generally obtained from the least expected, and often the
least valued, quarter. This is a glorious dispensation of providence,
and few people who have experienced misfortune, or have been in want of
assistance, but have felt how compensating is the hidden power which
guides our destinies. Yet writers who constantly rail about the
insincerity of friendship make little or no mention of those truest
friends, the friends who appear uninvoked, and do whatever has been
asked in vain of others who may have promised freely, or who are in fact
indebted to those they ignore in the moment of adversity.

Burly old Grose, the friend of Burns, in his “Olio” gives a curious
specimen of composition, which he says was the effort of a mayor in one
of our University towns, though which is not stated. It tells us that--

  WHEREAS, a Multiplicity of Dangers are often incurred by Damage of
  outrageous Accidents by Fire, we whose Names are undersigned, have
  thought proper that the Benefit of an Engine, bought by us, for the
  better Extinguishing of which, by the Accidents of Almighty God, may
  unto us happen, to make a Rate to gather Benevolence for the better
  propagating such useful Instruments.

Some clever student of style may be able to tell, by a clue invisible
to the uninitiated, whether this is Oxford or Cambridge. We are not
learned in such matters, and so prefer to admire, without troubling
ourselves to identify.

Poetical advertisements were not at all uncommon a hundred years ago and
less. The demand for space, and the steam-engine rate at which we live
now, have, however, destroyed not only the opportunity for them, but
their use. Towards the close of the last century there lived in the
Canongate, Edinburgh, one Gavin Wilson, a hard-working bootmaker, or, as
his sign described him, “Arm, Leg and Boot maker, _but not_ to his Royal
Highness the Prince of Wales.” He was a singular fellow, and was the
inventor of an art for hardening and polishing leather, so as to be
workable into powder-flasks, snuff-boxes, drinking-mugs, ink-cases, and
other articles of a similar kind. His genius did not stop at this rough
work, but enabled him to form a German flute and a violin, both of
leather, which, for neatness of workmanship and melodiousness of tone,
were, friendly critics said, not a bit inferior to any fiddle or flute
formed of wood. His greatest triumphs, however, were artificial arms and
legs, also made of leather, which not only completely remedied loss of
limb, but also closely resembled their human prototypes, being covered
with skin, nails, &c. The unexampled success of his endeavours in this
way was curiously illustrated by a person who, having lost both his
hands by a cannon-shot, was provided with a new and useful pair by Gavin
Wilson. This man expressed his gratitude in a letter of thanks, written
with the artificial hands, which appeared in the _Caledonian Mercury_
for 1779, along with an advertisement of the ingenious mechanic. Wilson
had also pretensions to wit, and was occasionally a votary of what Foote
once described as the Tuneful Ten. “Nine and one are ten,” said Foote
one day to an accountant, who was anxious the wit should hear his
poetry, and who commenced, “Hear me, O Phœbus and ye Tuneful Nine!”
Having got so far, he accused Foote of inattention; but the latter
said, “Nine and one are ten--go on,” which was too near the shop to be
pleasant. The following advertisement may serve as a specimen of
Wilson’s poetical attempts:--

    G. Wilson humbly as before
    Resumes his thankfulness once more
    For favours formerly enjoy’d
    In, by the public, being employ’d.
    And hopes this public intimation
    Will meet with candid acceptation.
    The world knows well he makes _boots_ neatly
    And, as times go, he sells them cheaply.
    ’Tis also known to many a hundred
    Who at his late invention wonder’d,
    That polish’d _leather boxes_, _cases_,
    So well known now in many places,
    With _powder-flasks_ and _porter-mugs_,
    And jointed _leather arms_ and _legs_.
    Design’d for use as well as show,
    _Exempli gratia_ read below,[34]
    Were his invention; and no claim
    Is just by any other name.
    With numbers of production more,
    In leather ne’er performed before.
    In these dead times being almost idle,
    He tried and made a _leather fiddle_.
    Of workmanship extremely neat,
    Of tone quite true, both soft and sweet.
    And finding leather not a mute
    He made a _leather German flute_,
    Which play’d as well and was as good
    As any ever made of wood.
    He for an idle hour’s amusement
    Wrote this exotic advertisement,
    Informing you he does reside
    In head of Canongate, south side,
    Up the first wooden-railed stair,
    You’re sure to find his Whimship there.
    In Britain none can fit you better
    Than can your servant the _Bootmaker_.

  GAVIN WILSON.

Notwithstanding that their day is past, occasional poetical
advertisements are to be found in the papers now. They are, as a rule,
infinitely bad, and the following is so very different from the general
run of them, that we cannot help quoting it. Perhaps it was written
after taking a dose of “Lamplough,” which is said on authority to have
so many beneficial effects, that power over writers of verse in general,
and the writer of the following in particular, may easily be included
among them. So all minor poets had better study this, which we extract
from a “weekly” a year or so ago:--

  A DRINKING SONG.

    IF ever your spirits are damp, low,
      And bilious; you should, I opine,
    Just quaff a deep bumper of Lamplough--
      Of Lamplough’s Pyretic Saline.

    The title is quaint and eccentric--
      Is probably so by design--
    But they say for disturbances ventric
      There’s nought like Pyretic Saline.

    Don’t bid me become exegetic,
      Or tell me I’m only a scamp low,
    If I can tell you more of Pyretic
      Saline manufactured by Lamplough.

A second good specimen was published in a theatrical paper at the time
when Mr J. S. Clarke, an American comedian, whose strength is in his
advertisements, and who is well known this side the Atlantic, was
playing in “The Rivals.” It is entitled

  SAVED.

    IT was a chill November eve and on the busy town
    A heavy cloud of yellow fog was sinking slowly down;
    Upon the bridge of Waterloo, a prey to mad despair,
    There stood a man with heavy brow and deep-lined face of care.

    One ling’ring look around he gave, then on the river cast
    That sullen stare of rash resolve he meant should be his last.
    Far down the old cathedral rose, a shadow grey and dim,
    The light of day would dawn on that but ne’er again on him.

    One plunge within the murky stream would end the bitter strife.
    “What rest’s there now,” he sobbed aloud, “to bid me cling to life?”
    Just then the sound of stamping feet smote on his list’ning ear,
    A sandwich-man upon his beat paused ’neath the lamplight clear.

    One hurried glance--he read the board that hung upon his back,
    He leapt down from the parapet, and smote his thigh a smack.
    “I must see that,” he cried--the words that put his woe to flight
    Were “John S. Clarke as Acres at the Charing Cross to-night.”

Another of these effusions, well worthy of insertion here, appeared
quite recently in a humorous paper, and is devoted to the interests of
Messrs Cook & Son, the tourist agents. Whether or not it was paid for as
an advertisement, they must have found it valuable. Despite the sneers
of several small wits whom fortune has enabled to travel in the old
expensive mode, there are very many who are neither cads nor snobs,
whatever the distinction may be, and whose greatest sin is a paucity of
income, that have felt the benefit of the popular excursionists’
endeavours. The verses are called

  COOK’S PERQUISITES.

    In longitude six thousand ninety-two,
      Latitude nothing, the good ship, _Salt Beef_,
    Caught in a gale, the worst that ever blew,
      Was stranded on a coral island’s reef.

    Her back was broken, so she went in halves,
      The crew and captain perished, every hand;
    Only a pig, some chickens, and two calves,
      And the one passenger, escaped to land.

    King Bungaroo, with all the royal suite,
      Was waiting to receive him on the beach;
    And seeing he was plump and nice to eat,
      Received him graciously with courteous speech.

    The suite, who thus their coming banquet eyed,
      Their gastric regions rubbed with grateful paw,
    And wondered if the king would have him fried,
      Or boiled, or roasted,--or just eat him raw!

    The hungry passenger their meaning caught
      As hinting dinner in some manner dim,
    And smiling at the notion, little thought
      That they meant feasting _on_--and not _with_--him!

    But, as you draw a fowl before ’tis drest,
      The suite proceeded first, of everything
    The pockets of their victim to divest,
      And laid their plunder down before the king.

    The monarch started at some object there--
      Then seized the prisoner’s hand and cried aloud,
    “Bo, bingo wobli! Chungum raggadare.
      Howinki croblob? Boo! Owchingadowd!”

    Which means--“Unhand this kindly gentleman.
      Observe those coupons! Note that small green book!
    Put out the fire--hang up the frying-pan!
      We mustn’t eat him. He belongs to Cook!”

But turning back to the early times on which we started in quest of
amusing advertisements, we come upon a fictitious letter addressed to
Sylvanus Urban in the _Gentleman’s Magazine_ for September 1803, which
is signed Maria Elderly, and falls sadly foul of the indecorous
announcements then so plentiful. It runs thus: “Good Mr Urban,--You must
know, Sir, I am a married woman and a mother (I bless Heaven!) of
several not unpromising daughters. We read most of the best English and
French authors together as we sit at our work: that is to say one reads
aloud whilst the rest draw, sew, or embroider. The hours thus pass more
pleasantly; and our amusement I will hope is productive of solid mental
profit. It is a proverbial good-natured joke with young gentlemen that
curiosity is of the feminine gender. I will not stop to dispute the
matter with such acute grammarians; but will rather honestly admit that
(although I think otherwise) perhaps ‘much may be said on both sides.’
Nay, I will own, Sir, that what with the natural timidity of my sex, and
the fear of Bonaparte’s invasion, I do feel a little hankering or so, to
learn how the world of politics is conducted. I therefore have lately
taken in a certain fashionable morning newspaper, and was much amused at
first with its contents. But, my dear Mr Urban, I fancy I must give up
this paper; and as I find you are a married gentleman, I will at once
tell you why: I have often been vexed, Sir, at the sight of certain
indecorous advertisements. Proof is better than accusation at all times.
I will therefore just allude to a few, which, however, I assure you, are
not the worst. I know you cannot expect _me_ to transcribe them. The
first instance I shall notice, is in the paper of April 21, 1803, where
‘a lady near 30, wishes to be companion to a single gentleman;’ and as a
proof of the impropriety of this advertisement, Mr O. of Dover Street
(to whom the _lady_ referred) thought it necessary pointedly to deny all
knowledge of her in another advertisement of April 28. In the paper of
May 5, I read that ‘a widow-lady _pleasing in her person_, &c., solicits
the loan of £40 from a gentleman.’ The lady refers to a house in Dean
Street, Soho. In that of May 26 ‘a young female intreats the loan of
£130 from a nobleman or gentleman of fortune.’ She refers to Curriers’
Row, Black friars. In that of June 1, a young lady (who refers to the
post-office, Blandford Street, Portman Square) inserts a most
unqualified proposal indeed. In that of June 16, the proposal is
repeated in still more impertinent terms. The lady now refers to Eyre
Street, Hatton Garden. In that of June 18, appear two advertisements
from females, _of a very curious nature_, addressed to two young men.
Both are assignations; and they are expressed too in very intelligible
terms, I do assure you. I believe you will agree with me that such
advertisements can do no good and may do much harm. I could enlarge my
list very greatly, by pointing your eyes to paragraphs of a later date;
but the subject is a very unpleasant one, and I at present forbear. ‘My
poverty, but not my will consents’ may do in a play; but it is a sad
excuse for the editor of a daily publication: and it is _criminal_, Sir,
when we consider how many young minds may thus be empoisoned.” We trust
this letter will be taken as evidence that we have in the preceding
chapter by no means selected the worst specimens of the style which
pervaded advertisements at the close of the last century and beginning
of the present.

The believers in vested interests may see by an advertisement of the
year 1804, that proprietorial rights were respected in those days even
among beggars:--

  TO be disposed of for the benefit of the poor widow a Blind Man’s WALK
  in a charitable neighbourhood, the comings-in between twenty-five and
  twenty-six shillings a week, with a dog well drilled, and a staff in
  good repair. A handsome premium will be expected. For further
  particulars, inquire at No. 40, Chiswell Street.

The halcyon days of cadgers and crossing-sweepers are over, and we no
longer hear of members of either profession leaving fortunes. It has
often been source of wonder to us how a right was maintained in any
particular crossing or walk. It is presumable, of course, that no action
would lie in the event of one man taking another’s favourite corner;
yet, if story-tellers are to be depended upon, the “good-wills” of these
places in days gone by were worth not hundreds alone, but thousands of
pounds. The new police and the mendicity societies have considerably
disturbed such sinecures, and even those affectionate parents that of
late years lived on the earnings of their young, who pretended to sell
cigar-lights and newspapers, but who in reality begged freely, have been
driven to earn their own meals by the officers of the various
school-boards. So passes away the glory of free trade from this
over-legislated and effete old country, where no one is allowed to do as
he likes if it at all interferes with the comfort of his
neighbours--except, of course, when he is rich and the neighbour is
poor. Passing on to 1811, we come upon a quaint request for a servant in
the _Morning Post_ of December 4:--

  A COOK-HOUSEMAID, or HOUSEMAID-COOK is wanted, for the service of a
  single gentleman, where only one other, a manservant is kept. The age
  of the woman wanted must not be less than 25, nor more than 40 years;
  and it is requisite that she should be equally excellent in the two
  capacities of Cook and Housemaid. Her character must be
  unexceptionable for sobriety, honesty and cleanliness. The sobriety,
  however, which consists in drinking deep without staggering will not
  do; nor will the honesty suffice which would make up for the possible
  absence of pilfering by waste. Neither will the cleanliness answer
  which is content with bustling only before the employer’s eyes--a sure
  symptom of a slattern. The servant advertised for, must be thoroughly
  and truly cleanly, honest and sober. As it is probable that not a drab
  out of place who reads this advertisement but will be for imposing
  herself, though, perhaps, incapable of cooking a sprat, and about as
  nice as a Hottentot, all such are warned not to give themselves
  useless trouble. On the other hand, a steady, clean woman, really
  answering the above description, will, by applying as below, hear of a
  place not easy equalled in comfort; where the wages are good and
  constantly increasing, and where servants are treated as
  fellow-creatures, and with a kindness, which, to the discredit of
  their class, is seldom merited. Personal application to be made, from
  one to three o’clock, to Mr Danvers, perfumer, No. 16, Craven Street,
  Strand.

Here we have the crotchety old bachelor of the novels to the life. This
advertiser was evidently a judge of character, and doubtless one of the
kindest-hearted of men, but irascible and touchy, subject to twinges of
gout, and possessed of a horror of east winds. A man who would scorn to
be affected by the most pitiful story, yet whose hand was always in his
pocket, and whose sympathy always meant relief as well. Where are all
these good old creatures gone? Are they all dead, and is the race
extinct? Frankly we must admit that we never met with any one of them,
though we should very much like to, as we could in our own person find
plenty of opportunity for the disposition of extra benevolence. It is
said that the brothers Cheeryble had an actual existence, and perhaps
they had, but if so, they managed to conceal their identity extremely
successfully. We remember once meeting two brothers in business, who in
appearance and manner were exactly like Nickleby’s benefactors; but two
more astute individuals were not to be found in the three kingdoms. And
on the strength of this likeness they possessed a great reputation for a
benevolence which never had even a symptom of real being. Apropos of
those imaginary philanthropists the Cheerybles, we present one of the
advertisements which were called forth by their appearance in the story.
It is from the _Times_, and was published February 7, 1844:--

  TO THE BROTHERS CHEERYBLE, or any who have hearts like theirs. A
  clergyman, who will gladly communicate his name and address, desires
  to introduce the case of a gentleman, equal at least to Nickleby in
  birth, worthy, like him, for refinement of character, even of the best
  descent; like him, of spotless integrity, and powerfully beloved by
  friends who cannot help him, but no longer, like Nickleby, sustained
  by the warm buoyancy of youthful blood. The widowed father of young
  children, he has spent his all in the struggles of an unsuccessful but
  honourable business, and has now for eighteen months been vainly
  seeking some stipendiary employment.--To all who have ever known him
  he can refer for commendation. Being well versed in accounts, though
  possessed of education, talents, and experience, which would render
  him invaluable as a private secretary, he would accept with gratitude
  even a clerk’s stool and daily bread. Any communication addressed to
  the Rev. B. C., Post-office, Cambridge, will procure full particulars,
  ample references, and the introduction of the party, who is now in
  town, and ignorant of this attempt to serve him.

Dickens, knowing his power at that time, must have laughed in his sleeve
at the trick he was playing the professional swindler when he portrayed
the brothers; though, if we are to believe what we are told in the
preface to a subsequent edition of his book, the noble army of
begging-letter writers and suchlike impostors had ample revenge, for he
was pestered nearly to death with importunities to reveal the real name
and address of purely mythical characters. Inventors of appeals to the
benevolent, either by way of letter or advertisement, are a hard-working
race, and must find the task of enlisting sympathy much more difficult
than it was when Mr Puff tided over a time of misfortune by aid of the
charitable and credulous. It is possible even now, despite the efforts
of societies and detectives who give themselves entirely to the work of
unmasking counterfeits, to find one or two of those heart-stirring
appeals to the benevolent which have maintained many an impostor in
idleness for years together. Like Puff did in his time, though
evidently less and less successfully, these advertisers support
themselves upon their inventions by means of the proceeds of addresses
“to the charitable and humane,” or “to those whom providence has blessed
with affluence.” The account which Puff gives of his fictitious
misfortunes so little exaggerates the advertisements which appear
occasionally in the _Times_, that it is well to the point, and worthy of
quoting. “I suppose,” he says, “never man went through such a series of
calamities in the same space of time. I was five times made a bankrupt,
and reduced from a state of affluence by a train of unavoidable
misfortunes. Then, though a very industrious tradesman, I was twice
burnt out, and lost my little all both times. I lived upon those fires a
month. I soon after was confined by a most excruciating disorder, and
lost the use of my limbs. That told very well; for I had the case
strongly attested, and went about to collect the subscriptions myself!
Afterwards, I was a close prisoner in the Marshalsea for a debt
benevolently contracted to serve a friend. I was then reduced to--oh
no!--then I became a widow with six helpless children. Well, at last,
what with bankruptcies, fires, gouts, dropsies, imprisonments, and other
valuable calamities, having got together a pretty handsome sum, I
determined to quit a business which had always gone rather against my
conscience.”

But leaving “The Critic,” and the ideas which the specimens just given
have promoted, we will fall back upon an advertisement of a truly
humorous nature, which is given to the world as long back as 1816. What
householder who has improved his dwelling for the benefit of a grasping
proprietor will not sympathise with the writer of this?--

  WANTED IMMEDIATELY, to enable me to leave the house which I have for
  these last five years inhabited, in the same plight and condition in
  which I found it, 500 LIVE RATS, for which I will gladly pay the sum
  of £5 sterling; and as I cannot leave the farm attached thereto in the
  same order in which I got it, without at least Five Millions of
  Docks, Dockens (weeds), I do hereby promise a further sum of £5 for
  said number of Dockens. Apply ----.

  Dated, 31 October, 1816.

  N.B. The Rats must be full grown, and no cripples.

In close companionship with the above we find another, which for
peculiarity is quite as noticeable. The advertiser has evidently studied
humanity without receiving much benefit from his researches, unless the
knowledge that he is vastly superior to every one else is a benefit. If
the advertisement were not a swindle, of which it seems very suggestive,
it is not unreasonable to suppose that failure attended upon it, for no
man who believed to such an extent in himself could ever be brought to
have faith in another:--

  IT is the general desire of princes and opulent men to live
  friendless--they gain obsequiousness, adulation, and dependents, but
  not friends: the sycophants that surround them disappear when the lure
  that attracted them is lost: beguiled by blandishments, deceived by
  hypocrisy, and lulled by professions they do not discover imposture
  till adversity detects it. The evil is unbounded--they never obtain a
  sincere opinion, whether regarding pecuniary embarrassment or domestic
  dissension--in any perplexed or unhappy event they receive no counsel
  but that which benefits the sinister views of him who gives it. Of
  what advantage is fortune if it transforms friends into parasites, and
  we are to live in constant delusion; or isolated and secluded, we must
  exist like hermits to shun intercourse with our fellow-beings, and
  escape perfidy? One whose affluence precludes speculation, who has
  proved himself undaunted in danger and unshaken in fidelity, proffers
  his friendship to him who deserves it, and will know how to appreciate
  it;--his reading has not afforded mere abstract knowledge, but has
  been rendered auxiliary for a vast intercourse with the world; years
  have furnished experience, reflection has improved it. His advice and
  aid he hopes is not insignificant, be the station of him who requires
  them ever so elevated. As there can be no independence where there is
  not equality of circumstances, no one of inferior condition can be
  noticed.

Still about the same period we come upon the advertisement of an Irish
schoolmaster, which for inflation, pomposity, and ignorance is perhaps
unrivalled. It is only fair, while quoting this, to say that Mr Hendrick
is not by any means a good specimen of the Irish teacher, who is, as a
rule, modest, conscientious, and chokeful of learning. This extract
forcibly reminds us of one of Samuel Lover’s characters:--

  MR HENDRICK’S DEVOIR TO THE GENTRY OF LIMERICK.

  WOULD be elated to assign his attention for the instruction of eight
  or ten Pupils, to attend on their houses each second day, to teach the
  French language, Geography on the Principles of Astronomy, traversing
  the Globe by sea and land on the rudiments of a right angle, with a
  variety of pleasing Problems, attached to Manners, Customs, &c. of
  different Countries, Trade and Commerce; Phenomenons on Volcanos,
  Thunder, Sound, Lightning, &c. Such as please to continue, may advance
  through a Course of Natural Philosophy, and those proficient in French
  can be taught the above in that Language.

  N.B. At intervals would instruct in the Italian Language.

  Please to inquire at Mr Barry, Newtown-Perry.

  J. HENDRICK, _Philomathos_.

In a Jersey newspaper for December 1821 there is a very funny
advertisement for a lost dog--so funny indeed is it that it seems more
than likely to have been a hoax, or a hit at the peculiarly broken
English identified with the Channel Islands. Still it appears as an
advertisement, and so we append it:--

  LOSE.--Dere ave bin von doge, dat vil replay to de appel of “Outre;”
  he is betwin de couleur of de vite and de bruin, dere is belif he was
  delay by some personne on propos, as he was vont by de oner on Monday
  next for to come to de chasse, as he kno vere was de hairs. Applie of
  de oner at de Printure.

As a companion, here is the following from the _Handelsblad_ of
Amsterdam. It is much more natural than the Jersey effusion, and is
evidently an attempt to write the language known on the Continent and
abroad generally as American. It will be recollected that one of the
last requests of the Emperor Nicholas during the Crimean war was that,
in gratitude for the efforts at assistance made by the good people of
the United States, the cadets in the military schools should be taught
the American language. This must be near to his idea of it:--

  MEDAILLE of SILVER at New-York.

  MEDAILLE of GOLD at Paris, London and Berlin.

  The very celebrated AMERICAN-BALSAM, notwithstanding the great
  competition, preserve the preference; wherefore, did is your question
  because every body is content with his expectation and recommend this
  balsam indeed.

  The under signed have by experience of himself following the working
  of this balsam and may be rejoicing to offer an his honorables
  fellow-citizens and compatriots a very excellent remedy to prevent the
  sally of hair, to dissiporte the erysipelas; and than the greatest
  desire of man consist to recover the hair upon their bald-spates, it
  is reading every day in the newspapers, but none annonce, as the under
  signed has the right to do it with contract _NO HAIR NO MONNEY_.

  The prevent imitation none than THEOPHILE is sole agent for the
  Netherlands, St. Nicholasstreet at Amsterdam. Ladys! Perriwigs! curls,
  tress shall be dying very beautiful is every colours, of light haired
  to black.

  Bony inspection of a long wigt tress, with teen differents coleurs.

On December 23, 1823, the following droll advertisement appeared in the
_Morning Herald_. It was probably a satire on the manners and customs of
quasi-fashionables of the day, though why any one should be so anxious
to mark his disapprobation of the state of affairs as to pay for the
publication of his satires we really are not prepared to say:--

  WANTED, for the ensuing London Campaign, a CHAPERON, who will
  undertake the charge of two young ladies, now making their entrée into
  fashionable life; she must possess a constitution impervious to
  fatigue and heat, and be perfectly independent of sleep; _au fait_ at
  the mysteries of Whist and Cassino, and always ready to undertake a
  round game, with a supper appetite of the most moderate description:
  any personal charms, which might interfere by her acting as a foil to
  her charges, will be deemed inadmissible; and she must be totally
  divested of matrimonial pretensions on her own account, having
  sufficient experience in the _beau monde_ to decide with promptitude
  on the eligibility of invitations with an instinctive discrimination
  of Almack men, and eldest sons. Address to Louisa, Twopenny Post
  Office, Great Mary-le-bone-street.

  N.B. No Widow from Bath or Cheltenham will be treated with.

In the _Times_, at the close of the year 1826, an advertisement
appeared, which ran as follows:--

  TO SCHOOL ASSISTANTS.--Wanted, a respectable GENTLEMAN of good
  character, capable of TEACHING the CLASSICS as far as Homer and
  Virgil. Apply ----

There is nothing noticeable in this, the reader will think, nor is
there; but the sequel, which is told in a number of the now leading
journal a few days afterwards, will perhaps repay perusal. A day or two
after the advertisement had appeared, the gentleman to whom application
was to be made received a letter as follows: “Sir--With reference to an
advertisement which were inserted in the _Times_ newspaper a few days
since, respecting a school assistant, I beg to state that I should be
happy to fill that situation; but as most of my frends reside in London,
and not knowing how far Homer and Virgil is from town, I beg to state
that I should not like to engage to teach the classics farther than
Hammersmith or Turnham Green, or at the very utmost distance farther
than Brentford.--Wating your reply, I am, Sir, &c. &c., John Sparks.”
The errors in orthography and syntax have been copied as in the letter,
but we fancy the matter looks suspiciously like a hoax. The editor,
however, thinks otherwise, and after appending a few remarks, says,
“This puts us in mind of a person who once advertised for a ‘_strong
coal heaver_,’ and a poor man calling upon him the day after, saying,
‘he had not got such a thing as a _strong coal heaver_, but he had
brought a _strong coal scuttle_, made of the best iron; and if that
would answer the purpose, he should have it a bargain.’” About this time
the following request for a minister was published in the _Monthly
Mirror_, and doubtless applications were numerous for the engagement:--

  WANTED, for a newly erected Chapel, near Grosvenor Square, a gentleman
  of elegant manners, and insinuating address, to conduct the
  theological department to a refined audience. It is not necessary that
  he believe in the Thirty-nine Articles; but it is expected that he
  should possess a white hand and a diamond ring; he will be expected to
  leave out vulgar ideas, and denunciations against polite vices which
  he may meet with in the Bible; and, upon no account, be guilty of
  wounding the ears of his auditory with the words h----ll, or d----n.
  One who lisps, is near-sighted, and who has a due regard for amiable
  weaknesses, will be preferred.

  N.B.--If he is of pleasing and _accommodating_ manners, he will have a
  chance of being introduced to the first company, and three card
  parties every Sunday evening. One who knows a few college jokes, or
  who has been Chaplain to the Whip Club, will be preferred. He will
  have no occasion to administer Baptism, &c. &c. there being an old
  gentleman employed, who, on account of extreme distress, has agreed,
  for ten pounds per annum, to preach in the afternoon, and do all the
  under work.

  Letters must be addressed to James Speculate, Esq., Surveyor’s Office,
  New Square, Mary-le-Bone.

Apropos of the foregoing, “The Goodfellow’s Calendar,” a handbook of
humorous anecdote and criticism for nearly every day in the year--some
stray leaves of which have found their way into our possession--gives
some account of a parson who, it says, would have been eminently fitted
for the situation. “The Rev. R. C. Maturin, Curate of St. Peter’s,
Dublin, and author of one of the most immoral and trumpery tragedies,
‘Bertram,’ that ever disgraced the stage, or gratified the low taste of
an acting manager, died October 30th 1824. This exemplary pillar of the
Established Church was exceedingly vain, both of his person and
accomplishments, and as his income would not allow him to attract
attention by the splendour of his dress and manners, he seldom failed to
do so by their singularity. Mr Maturin was tall, slender, but well
proportioned, and on the whole a good figure, which he took care to
display in a well-made black coat tightly buttoned, and some odd
light-coloured stocking-web pantaloons, surmounted, in winter, by a coat
of prodigious dimensions, gracefully thrown on, so as not to obscure the
symmetry it affected to protect. The Curate of St. Peters sang and
danced, and prided himself on performing the movements and evolutions of
the quadrille, certainly equal to any other divine of the Established
Church, if not to any private lay gentleman of the three kingdoms. It
often happened, too, that Mr. Maturin, either laboured under an attack
of gout or met with some accident, which compelled the use of a slipper
or bandage on one foot or one leg; and by an unaccountable congruity of
mischances he was uniformly compelled on these occasions to appear in
the public thoroughfares of Dublin, where the melancholy spectacle of a
beautiful limb in pain never failed to excite the sighs and sympathies
of all the interesting persons who passed, as well as to prompt their
curiosity to make audible remarks or inquiries respecting the
possessor.” We are much afraid that the vanity of Mr Maturin was not
wonderfully peculiar, and with due allowance for those differences in
our styles of dress and living which have been made in fifty years, it
would not be difficult to find ministers of the gospel who would prove
strong rivals to the curate of St Peter’s.

In 1825 the _New Times_ presented the public with the original of that
singular advertisement which has been so often quoted as an Irish bull,
but which would appear to be home-bred: “Wanted by a Surgeon residing at
Guildford, two apprentices, who will be treated as one of the family.”
The Hibernian companion to this would most fitly be the Dublin editor’s
statement, in reference to a newly-invented laundry machine, that by its
use every man would probably become his own washerwoman. From
washerwomen to general servants is but a step, and so from the _Times_
of five-and-twenty years back we extract a model specimen, supposed to
emanate from that rarest of _raræ aves_, a pattern domestic:--

  DO YOU WANT A SERVANT? Necessity prompts the question. The advertiser
  OFFERS his SERVICES to any lady or gentleman, company, or others, in
  want of a truly faithful, confidential servant in any capacity not
  menial, where a practical knowledge of human nature in various parts
  of the world would be available. Could undertake any affair of small
  or great importance, where talent, inviolable secrecy, or good address
  would be necessary. Has moved in the best and worst societies without
  being contaminated by either; has never been a servant, begs to
  recommend himself as one who knows his place; is moral, temperate,
  middle-aged; no objection to any part of the world. Could advise any
  capitalist wishing to increase his income and have the control of his
  own money. Could act as secretary or valet to any lady or gentleman.
  Can give advice or hold his tongue, sing, dance, play, fence, box,
  preach a sermon, tell a story, be grave or gay, ridiculous or sublime,
  or do anything from the curling of a peruke to the storming of a
  citadel--but never to excel his master. Address ----.

Differing considerably, and yet much in the same line, is the following,
which is amusing from the amount of confidence the writer possesses in
his own powers, and the small value he sets upon the attainments of
those who possess that most valuable qualification of all--property. The
offer never to be better than his patron is a condescension indeed from
such a paragon:--

  TO INDEPENDENT GENTLEMEN.--Wanted by a respectable, modest young man,
  who can produce a cubic yard of testimonials, a living without a
  master--that is, he wishes to become a companion to some gentleman,
  and be his factotum. He can ride, shoot, sing, fish (but never better
  than his patron without he is wanted), keep accounts, see that
  servants do their duty, do twenty other things, equally necessary in
  this life, and make it his whole duty to please and be pleased. Any
  one seriously wishing such a person, may address, post paid to Z., to
  be left at ----.

Advertisements from the other side--from employers--are also noticeable
now and again, as this will show:--

  BOARD AND RESIDENCE FOR WORK.--An old literary gentleman invites two
  widow ladies, about forty, to assist him in doing without servants,
  except a charwoman once a week. One lady must undertake entrées,
  soups, and jellies. Both must be strong and healthy, so that the work
  may be rather pleasant than irksome; two-thirds of it being for their
  own comfort, as no company is ever kept. A private sitting-room.
  Laundry free. All dining together at seven o’clock. References of
  mercantile exactness required.--Address A. B., ---- stating age and
  full particulars of antecedent position, &c.

This old literary gentleman was wise in his generation, as his offer,
though very plausible, meant nothing less than obtaining two servants
without wages, and society as well. Possibly, however, the fact of the
ladies being widows was supposed, upon the principle of Tony Weller, to
compensate for shortcomings in the way of salary. Other applications for
a superior class of servants deserve attention, the following modest
offer for a governess being a case in point:--

  WANTED, in a gentleman’s family, a young lady, as NURSERY GOVERNESS,
  to instruct two young ladies in French, music, and singing, with the
  usual branches of education, and to take the entire charge of their
  wardrobe. She must be of a social disposition and fond of children,
  and have the manners of a gentlewoman, as she will be treated as one
  of the family. Salary twelve guineas per annum. Address ----.

All for the small price of twelve guineas per annum, about half what a
decent housemaid expects, and with less than half the liberty of a
scullion. Yet this advertisement appeared in the _Times_, and is but the
representative of others of the same kind, not one of which is supposed
to betray meanness or poverty of spirit on the part of its originator.
For twelve guineas a year, the poverty-stricken orphan or daughter of
some once rich speculator is to teach French, music, singing, writing,
arithmetic, geography, history, and other of the “usual branches of
education,” to two young ladies, who it is only fair to expect would be
much more like the brassfounder’s daughter who objected to Ruth Pinch
than similar to the charge of Becky Sharp when she occupied a
governess’s position. In addition to the drudgery of teaching, there is
the charge of the young ladies’ wardrobe, which means an occupation of
itself; and then comes--oh, worst of all!--the social disposition, by
which is undoubtedly meant a capacity for doing whatever any other
member of the family may object to do--for being the drudge of the
drawing-room when the little tyrants of the nursery are abed and asleep.
By the manners of a gentlewoman is understood a capacity for receiving
studied insult without resentment, and by treatment as one of the family
such care and comfort as would cause the cook to take her instant
departure. And all this for twelve guineas per annum! This may be called
an overdrawn picture, but that is what is said of most self-evident
facts. And what father worthy of the name would die easily if he thought
that his tenderly-nurtured daughters were likely to be grateful for the
protection and the salary offered in the foregoing specimen
advertisement? Yet many a young girl has suddenly found herself divested
of every luxury, and subject to the tender mercies of those who regard a
nursery governess as “one of the family.” There is an old story in
reference to the selection of governesses which is worth repeating here.
A lady wrote to her son requesting him to find a teacher for his
sisters, and enumerating a long list of qualifications, somewhat similar
to those generally expected in a pretentious family. The son seems to
have been wiser than his mother, for he replied stating that he had
studied the requirements, and that when he found a young lady possessed
of them all, he should endeavour to engage her, not as a governess for
his sisters, but as a wife for himself. Marriage alters women, however,
as the subjoined notice from an Irish paper proves to the most
sceptical:--

  RUN AWAY FROM PATRICK M‘DALLAGH.--Whereas my wife Mrs Bridget
  M‘Dallagh, is again walked away with herself, and left me with her
  four small children, and her poor old blind mother, and nobody else to
  look after house and home, and, I hear, has taken up with Tim Guigan,
  the lame fiddler--the same that was put in the stocks last Easter for
  stealing Barday Doody’s gamecock.--This is to give notice, that I will
  not pay for bite or sup on her or his account to man or mortal, and
  that she had better never show the mark of her ten toes near my home
  again.

  PATRICK M‘DALLAGH.

  N.B. Tim had better keep out of my sight.

Mrs Bridget seems to have been in the habit of straying from the path of
virtue and her husband’s home, which, if we are to believe Irish poets
and orators, must have been very exceptional behaviour in the land of
“virtue and Erin.” As if to provide against similar emergency, a
Parisian puts forth an advertisement, the translation of which runs
thus:--

  A gentleman in his twenty-sixth year, tired of the dissipation of the
  great world, is forming a comfortable establishment in one of the
  least frequented quarters of the city. His domestics are a coachman,
  cook, three footmen and a chambermaid. He is in search of a young girl
  of good family to improve this honourable situation: she must be well
  educated, accomplished, and of an agreeable figure, and will be
  entertained in the quality of _demoiselle de compagnie_. She shall
  receive the utmost attention from the household, and be as well served
  in every respect as, or even better than, if she were its mistress.

As just now there is constant change of opinion as to what forms the
best pavement for the streets with the greatest traffic, as the stones
which seemed to be agreed on for ever are every day becoming more and
more disliked, and as the main difference now is which is likely to
prove the more profitable change, asphalt or wood, the following, from
the _Times_ of 1851, may not be uninteresting:--

  WOOD PAVEMENT.--All poor and distressed cabriolet proprietors and
  others, wheresoever dispersed, are particularly requested to FORWARD
  to us immediately PROVED ACCOUNTS in writing of all ACCIDENTS to and
  DEATHS of HORSES, and Personal and other Casualties, in order that the
  several parishes may respectfully, in the first place be
  extra-judicially called on to repay all damages (at our offices),
  within one calendar month of our respective applications, or otherwise
  have proceedings taken against them respectively in the County Courts,
  or under superior jurisdictions, and be so judicially and speedily
  made to pay on account of entering into ex-parte contracts rendering
  life and limb and travelling generally unsafe and dangerous in the
  extreme, and so continuing the bad state of the wood pavement; for no
  contracts can be lawful and right unless impliedly perused and
  approved of on behalf of the public generally.

  Cole and Scott, Solicitors, 12 Furnival’s Inn and Notting Hill.

If the “London stones” become things of the past, they and their
advocates will be revenged by the undoubted fact that whatever follows
them will, after the novelty has worn off, be just as much abused as its
predecessor, and most likely changed much more speedily. Deserving of
attention, too, though on a totally different matter, is the following.
It seems hard to believe that a London tradesman could believe he was
likely to get his note back by informing a man what he must have already
known; but such is the case. This must be what is known as “throwing
good money after bad:”--

  CORAL NECKLACE.--The gentleman who purchased a coral necklace in
  Bishopsgate-street, on Monday last received in change for a £20 note a
  FIVE-POUND NOTE too much. He is requested to RETURN it.

Vulgar people would say that the buyer of the coral necklace changed his
name to Walker after this. But changes of name are not legal unless duly
advertised. Speaking of advertising changes of name, a title by which
those lodging-house pests, bugs, are now often known, that of Norfolk
Howards, is derived from an advertisement in which one Ephraim Bug
avowed his intention of being for the future known as Norfolk Howard. We
have never seen this announcement, but have noticed many others, the
appended being a specimen, though of a much less sensational kind than
that we have just referred to:--

  NOTICE.--I, the undersigned THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES, of Abercery,
  in the county of Cardigan, Esq., do hereby Give Notice, that I shall,
  on and after the 1st day of October, 1873, ASSUME the names THOMAS
  HUGHES FORDE HUGHES, instead of the names of Thomas Hughes Forde
  Davies, by which last-mentioned names I have hitherto been known and
  described. And I do hereby request and direct all persons whomsoever
  to address and describe me as Thomas Hughes Forde Hughes, and not
  otherwise. And I further Give Notice, that I have executed the
  necessary Deed Poll in that behalf, and cause the same to be enrolled
  in her Majesty’s High Court of Chancery.--Dated this 29th day of
  September, 1873.

  THOMAS HUGHES FORDE DAVIES.

There is a good deal in a name in the present day, and there are some
names which for obvious reasons do not smell as sweet as roses, and
therefore require changing. This observation does not, of course, refer
to the change from Davies to Hughes, of which we know absolutely
nothing, except that it appeared in the _Standard_ of October 1873. As
there seems little to choose between the two names, it is fair to assume
that family reasons or property qualifications led to the alteration. In
the interest of those good people who sincerely believe in appearances,
we select our next example from the columns of the _Times_. Those, also,
who are in the habit of asking what good there is in a University
education will do well to ponder over these lines:--

  ARTICLED ASSISTANT.--If the GENTLEMAN who called at Messrs ---- and
  ---- 29, Poultry, on Thursday the 20th February in answer to an
  advertisement in that day’s _Times_ for “An Articled Assistant” will
  CALL again at the office to which he was referred, and where he stated
  that he was a Cambridge man &c., no doubt satisfactory arrangements
  can be made, as appearance is the chief object.

Appearance is indeed the chief object of attention at the present day,
and its influence goes much farther than people imagine, even at the
very time they are subscribing to it. Not alone does it affect the
positions of the drapers’ young man, the shop-walker, and the modern
_jeune premier_, the latter of whom may be an idiot so long as he is
young, tall, slim, and good-looking, but it materially influences a
higher class of society. Day after day we see men credited, by means of
lying heads and faces, with the qualifications and abilities they do not
possess; and, on the other hand, we as frequently find the mildest and
most benevolent of gentlemen regarded as desperate characters or
hard-fisted old curmudgeons. No one will nowadays believe that a man who
does not look very clever or very foolish can do anything in literature
or the arts above the common run; and the most frequent exclamation to
be heard after a real celebrity has been seen is one of disappointment,
so little will he bear comparison with the ideal. Appearances were never
more deceptive, and never more believed in, than they are now.

Stories of advertising tombstones, some true, some apocryphal, are
plentiful, and the best of those in which reliance can be placed is that
about the Parisian grocer. It is well known that at the Père la Chaise
Cemetery, near Paris, there stands, or stood, in a conspicuous position,
a splendid monument to Pierre Cabochard, grocer, with a pathetic
inscription, which closes thus:--

  His inconsolable widow
  dedicates this monument to his memory
  and continues the same business at the
  old stand, 187, Rue Mouffetard.

A gentleman who had noticed the inscription was led by curiosity to call
at the address indicated. Having expressed his desire to see the widow
Cabochard, he was immediately ushered into the presence of a
fashionably-dressed and full-bearded man, who asked him what was the
object of his visit. “I come to see the widow Cabochard.” “Well, sir,
here she is.” “I beg your pardon, but I wish to see the lady in person.”
“Sir, I am the widow Cabochard.” “I don’t exactly understand you. I
allude to the relict of the late Pierre Cabochard, whose monument I saw
yesterday at the Père la Chaise.” “I see, I see,” was the smiling
rejoinder. “Allow me to inform you that Pierre Cabochard is a myth, and
therefore never had a wife. The tomb you admired cost me a good deal of
money, and, although no one is buried there, it proves a first-rate
advertisement, and I have had no cause to regret the expense. Now, sir,
what can I sell you in the way of groceries?” The art of mingling
mourning and money-making was still better illustrated in the following
notice of a death in a Spanish paper:--

  This morning our Saviour summoned away the jeweller, Siebald Illmaga,
  from his shop to another and a better world. The undersigned, his
  widow, will weep upon his tomb, as will also his two daughters, Hilda
  and Emma; the former of whom is married, and the latter is open to an
  offer. The funeral will take place to-morrow.--His disconsolate widow,
  Veronique Illmaga. P. S. This bereavement will not interrupt our
  employment which will be carried on as usual, only our place of
  business will be removed from No. 3, Tessi de Teinturiers to No. 4,
  Rue de Missionaire, as our grasping landlord has raised our rent.

Advertisements which now and again appear in the _Times_ from people who
seek employment or money are both curious and eccentric, and in none of
them do the writers suffer at all from bashfulness or modest ideas of
their own qualifications. In this, which is an appeal for a situation,
the constructor describes himself as

  A CHARACTER.--The noblemen and gentlemen of England are respectfully
  informed that the advertiser is a self-taught man--a “genius.” He has
  travelled (chiefly on foot) through the United Kingdom of Great
  Britain and Ireland, in Holland, Germany, Switzerland, Belgium,
  France, and Italy. He has conducted a popular periodical, written a
  work of fiction in three vols., published a system of theology,
  composed a drama, studied Hamlet, been a political lecturer, a
  preacher, a village schoolmaster, a pawnbroker, a general shopkeeper;
  has been acquainted with more than one founder of a sect, and is now
  (he thanks Providence) in good health, spirits, and character, out of
  debt, and living in charity with all mankind. During the remainder of
  his life he thinks he would feel quite at home as secretary,
  amanuensis, or companion to any nobleman or gentleman who will engage
  a once erratic but now sedate being, whose chief delight consists in
  seeing and making those around him cheerful and happy. Address A. Z.,
  at Mr. ----’s, ---- Street, Regent’s Park.

As a rule, when people break out in this style they are much more in
want of the money than the work, although they cloak their actual
desires under the guise of applications for situations or employment.
There are not a few, however, who come boldly to the point, as the
following, also from the _Times_, shows:--

  A MAN OF RANK, holding a distinguished public office, moving in the
  highest society, and with brilliant prospects--has been suddenly
  called upon to pay some thousands of pounds, owing to the default of a
  friend for whom he had become guarantee. As his present means are
  unable to meet this demand, and he can offer no adequate security for
  a loan, the consequence must be ruin to himself and his family,
  unless some individual of wealth and munificence will step forward to
  avert this calamity, by applying £4000 to his rescue. For this he
  frankly avows that he can, in present circumstances, offer no other
  return than his gratitude. A personal interview, however painful, will
  be readily granted, in the confidence that the generosity of his
  benefactor will be the best guarantee for his delicate observance of
  secrecy. He hopes his distressing condition will protect him from the
  prying of heartless curiosity, and to prevent the approaches of
  money-holders, he begs to repeat that he can give no security. Address
  to “Anxious,” General Post Office, London.

For the benefit of those who are curious about men of rank, and in the
interests of those who may like to speculate as to who this holder of a
distinguished public office may have been, we will state that the
advertisement appeared just thirty years ago. There were then, and have
been since, many men in office who wanted four thousand pounds; in fact
it would be a hard matter to find a man anywhere to whom that
amount--or, for the matter of that, a good bit less--would not be
agreeable. That these advertisements were not altogether fruitless,
this, from the _Times_ of February 1851, would seem to show:--

  TRURO.--The generous friend who transmitted from this place under
  cover to the Secretary, G.P.O. an ENVELOPE containing a SUM of MONEY
  is gratefully informed that the individual for whom it was intended
  was relieved by it to an extent of which he can form no conception,
  and is earnestly entreated COMMUNICATE, if not his name, at least an
  address to which a letter may be sent.

  W. H.

Men reduced in circumstances seem to have less and less chance as the
world gets older. There would not be much good got out of an
advertisement for money nowadays, whatever the original position of
advertiser, unless he could promise something in return. His promise
might be quite impossible of performance, but still it would be
something; and if we are to judge by most of the swindling
advertisements which have succeeded in taking in thousands of people,
the more improbable the undertaking the more probable the success. Here
is another man of high rank, of later date, who only asks for
employment. A good pinch of salt must, we think, be taken with the
concluding sentence of the application:--

  IT WOULD BE A NOBLE ACT OF HUMANITY if any generous and kind-hearted
  individual would procure or grant EMPLOYMENT to a suffering
  individual, in whose behalf this appeal is made. He is of high rank,
  education, and manners, and in every point of view fit to fill any
  situation. He is without influential friends, and from complicated
  frauds and misfortunes, is unable to continue the education of eight
  lovely children. He seeks nothing for himself, except to be so placed,
  giving to the hands of his kind benefactor all he receives for his
  children’s present and future support. This will save him from a
  broken heart. Any situation that will enable him to effect this object
  will be received with heartfelt gratitude, and filled with honour,
  assiduity, and fidelity. Most respectable reference, &c. N.B. No
  pecuniary assistance can be received. Address ----.

A man of “high rank, education, and manners,” without influential
friends, is certainly an anomaly in this country; and the “eight lovely
children” forcibly remind us of the large families which begging-letter
impostors and cadgers generally have constantly at home, hungering not
so much for education as for bread and meat. The mention of high birth
reminds us of the many advertisements which have in the course of years
appeared from people who, not satisfied with being rich, seek to be
fashionable, and who offer free quarters and other advantages to any one
possessed of the _entrée_ to Society, and yet not over-gifted with the
more solid blessings of this world. Of course these generally appear in
the most fashionable papers, and the specimen which follows is taken
from the _Morning Post_ of half-a-dozen years ago. With the exception
that it mentions foreign towns, it is almost identical with others which
have appeared in reference to our own most exclusive circles:--

  SEASONS at SPA and BRUSSELS.--A Lady and Gentleman, well connected,
  offer to RECEIVE as their GUEST, free of all expense, a lady or a
  gentleman of family, who, in sole return for the freedom of home,
  could give the entrée into Belgian society. Spa in the summer,
  Brussels in the winter. A small establishment. A good cook. The
  highest references.--Address P. R., Poste Restante, Brussels.

Such notices as this go far to prove the truth of the saying that there
are blessings beyond price, that is, of course, always supposing the
advertisements were unsuccessful. We shall never in future meet any loud
vulgar person in Society--provided we are ever admitted within the
sacred portal--without suspecting him of having crawled in by means of
bribery. Yet our suspicions may alight upon the very leaders of _ton_;
for, so far, the most vulgar men we ever met--among gentlemen--were a
horse-racing earl and a coach-driving viscount, and they could have been
backed against any four men in that army, the peculiarities of which,
while in the Low Countries, will be found recorded in “Tristram Shandy.”
Among other advertisements in the columns of the leading journal, worthy
of notice in this chapter, are those singular effusions which appear at
intervals, especially during any period of political effervescence, and
which consist of mad schemes, the offspring of enthusiastic patriots and
headlong regenerators of the nation. The following is a fair specimen of
these:--

  TO THE MINISTERS OF STATE, NOBILITY, AND COMMUNITY AT LARGE.--A Remedy
  for the distresses of England. Every considerate person admits the
  present condition of society to be perfectly anomalous. A remedy has
  at length been discovered--a remedy which would effectually arrest the
  progress of pauperism, confer incalculable benefits upon the
  industrial community, and diffuse joy and gladness throughout the
  length and breadth of the land, making England (without exaggeration)
  the envy of surrounding nations, and the admiration of the world. The
  plan possesses the peculiar merit of being practicable, and easy of
  application, without in the slightest degree infringing the rights of
  property as by law established, or in any way disturbing the present
  relations of society. The advertiser will communicate his discovery
  either to the ministers of state, nobility, or those who may take an
  interest in the wellbeing of society, on condition of his receiving
  (if his plans are approved, and made available for the purposes
  contemplated) £100,000. “If the nation be saved, it is not to be saved
  by the ordinary operations of statesmanship.”--Lord Ashley. Address
  ----.

In this chapter, the mysterious “personal” advertisements which years
ago were so frequent and so extraordinary--but which now are rarely
noticeable except when devoted to the purposes of puffing tradesmen, or
when they are more than ordinarily stupid--must naturally receive
attention. Now and again a strange announcement attracts a little
curiosity in the present day; but for good specimens of the dark and
mysterious advertisement we must go back twenty years, and by so doing
we shall be enabled at the same time to give a very good reason why
people who correspond through the public papers in cipher or otherwise
are careful not to attract particular attention. This reason will
exhibit itself by means of two cryptographic specimens selected, which
appeared in the _Times_, and were the means of showing that writers of
secret signs and passwords must be clever indeed if they would evade the
lynx eyes of those who are ever ready for a little mild excitement, and
whose hobby it is to solve riddles and discover puzzles. Certainly there
must be more pleasure in finding out the meaning of a secret “personal”
than in answering the double acrostic charades with which the weekly
papers swarm, and which must occupy the attention of thousands, if the
quantities of correct and erroneous replies that are received at the
various offices may be accepted as evidence. In the early part of 1853 a
mad-looking advertisement appeared in the _Times_, which ran thus:--

  CENERENTOLA.--N bnxm yt ywd nk dtz hfs wjfi ymnx fsi fr rtxy fscntzx
  yt mjfw ymf esi bmjs dtz wjyzws, f imtb qtsldtz wjrfns, mjwj It bwnyf
  f kjb qnsjx jfwqnsl uqjfxj: N mfaj gjjs ajwd kfw kwtr mfund xnshy dtz
  bjsy fbfd.

Which being interpreted, reads: “Cenerentola, I wish to try if you can
read this, and am most anxious to hear the end, when you return, and how
long you remain here. Do write a few lines, darling, please. I have been
very far from happy since you went away.” This appeared in February 2,
and some difficulty appears to be in the way, for it is not till the
11th that we find another, which is evidently not in reply, and equally
evidently not satisfactory. It says:--

  CENERENTOLA.--Zsynq rd mjfwy nx xnhp mfaj ywnji yt kwfrj fs
  jcugfifynts kwt dtz gzy hfssty. Xnqjshj nx xfs jxy nk ymf ywzj hfzxj
  nx sty xzx jhyji; nk ny nx fgg xytwnjx bngg gj xnkyji yt ymj gtyytr.
  It dtz wjrjrgjw tzw htzxns’x knwxy uwtutxnynts: ymnsp tk ny.

As this system simply consisted in commencing the alphabet with the
letter _f_ and continuing in regular sequence, the explanation of the
last specimen is almost obvious; but so that there should be no
difficulty or doubt about it, and so that the intriguers should know
they were discovered, some literary lockpicker inserted on the 15th, in
the usual personal column of the _Times_, a full translation, correcting
all errors of the printer, and concluding with a notice in the secret
language, which must have frightened its originators. The explanatory
advertisement runs thus:--

  CENERENTOLA, until my heart is sick have I tried to frame an
  explanation for you, but cannot. Silence is safest, if the true cause
  is not suspected: if it is all stories will be sifted to the bottom.
  Do you remember our cousin’s first proposition? Think of it.--N pstb
  Dtz.

The cryptogram at the end is a warning, for, subjected to the test, we
find it is neither more nor less than “I know you.” This seems to have
effectually silenced the originals; but the marplots were probably still
at work, for on the 19th of February another notification appears, this
time in plain English, and running thus:--

  CENERENTOLA, what nonsense! Your cousin’s proposition is absurd. I
  have given an explanation--the true one--which has perfectly satisfied
  both parties--a thing which silence never could have effected. So no
  more such absurdity.

How miserably small the inventor of this cipher must have felt, and how
ridiculous those most interested must have appeared to each other, we
leave to the imaginations of those readers who have suddenly been
stopped in any grand flight to find themselves as idiotic as they had
before considered themselves ingenious. Doubtless the Cenerentolans will
not want for sympathisers even amongst those who affect most to ridicule
them. Much about the same time as the instance we have given, and while
the rage for secret advertising was in its meridian, one of the most
remarkable samples of the kind appeared--remarkable as much for its want
of reason as for anything else. On February 20, 1852, we are told by the
_Quarterly_, there appeared in the _Times_ the following mysterious
lines:--

  TIG tjohw it tig jfhiirvola og tig psgvw.
  F. D. N.

This was a little above the ordinary hand, and many attempts at
deciphering it failed. At last the following explanation was published
in the _Quarterly_. If we take the first word of the sentence, Tig, and
place under its second letter, i, the one which alphabetically precedes
it, and treat the next letters in a similar manner, we shall have the
following combination:--

  T i g
    h f
      e

Reading the first letters obliquely, we have the article “The;” if we
treat the second word in the same manner, the following will be the
result:--

  T j o h w
    i n g v
      m f u
        e t
          s

which read in the same slanting way produces the word _Times_. So far
our authority is correct, and here we leave him. The following
participle and article are of course evident, and then comes the
principal word of the sentence, which the transcriber makes to be
Jefferies, which it is doubtless intended to be; but in his hurry the
inventor or solver has made a mistake, as is shown upon an attempt at
the same conclusion:--

  J f h i i r v o l a
    e g h h q u n k z
      f g g p t m j y
        f f o s l i x
          e n r k h w
            m q j g v
              p i f u
                h e t
                  d s
                    r

This gives the word as Jeffemphdr, an expression which, if it can be
expressed at all, is very dissimilar from that we expected, after being
told that the sentence read--

  The Times is the Jefferies of the press.

We have taken this trouble and used this space in the endeavour to see
if the letters would make “Jefferies,” because we have always had a
suspicion that the first explainer was also the originator. The
advertisement, without being rendered into English, could not have
gratified the malice or satisfied the spite of its writer; and as, if
any one else had discovered the key and made the attempt, he would have
remarked the error, it is but fair to assume that “F. D. N.,” whoever
else he may have been, was the individual whom a writer in the
_Quarterly Review_, a couple of years or so afterwards, described as the
friend who “was curious and intelligent enough to extract the plain
English out of it,” and whose design we commenced with. Was he an author
who had been slated in the _Times_? However, as the advertiser evidently
meant Jeffreys, however he may have fancied to spell it, the explanation
may be taken as all right.[35] This and the preceding advertisement
must have set people thinking that it was hardly safe to trust to
secrets in the papers, no matter how carefully disguised; but the
crowning blow to cryptographic communication was given by means of the
“Flo” intrigue, which created some little sensation, and was the cause
of a good deal of amusement at the close of the year 1853 and the
beginning of 1854. On November 29 of the first-named year the following
was first seen in the _Times_:--

  FLO.--1821 82374 09 30 84541. 844532 18140650. 8 54584 2401 322650 526
  08555 94400 021 12 30 84541 22 05114650. 726 85400 021.

It may be as well to premise that the idea of the “Flo” system was to
make an alphabet with the nine numerals and the cipher, and the
correspondents evidently prided themselves, poor innocents, on having
arranged the letters arbitrarily and not in regular order, and fixed the
tell-tale capital I when standing alone at 8:--

  0  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9
  y  u  o  i  e  a  d  k  h  f
  s  t  n  m  r  l  q  g  w  p
  x                    c  b
                          v

So the communication read: “Flo, thou voice of my heart! Berlin,
Thursday. I leave next Monday, and shall press you to my heart on
Saturday. God bless you.” How they communicated for the next month does
not appear, but judging by the quotation just given, it is to be
supposed personally, and that another separation occurred soon after,
for on December 21 there is this:--

  FLO.--1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02 522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852
  4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48440 23781. 8 0426 021 52 326352 08585
  12 8459 42116 021 88354 505449 59144 632244. 31 8355 7449 021 8543 526
  021 3101 95270 1851 31 5430 544 42126 021. 726 85400 021.

Which, errors included, reads: “Flo, thou voice of my heart, I am so
lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture every night. I
send you an Indian shawl to wrap rou_t_d you while asleep after dinner.
It will keep you warm, and you must fancy that m_t_ arms are round you.
God bless you.” Two days afterwards the next appears, though the
translation hardly gives a substantial reason for the repetition:--

  FLO.--184 5501 850 84227 8 449451 31. 1821 82374 29 30 84541 8 53 02
  522450. 8 3300 021 3244 1852 4844. 8 5227 51 0214 9371144 48140 23781.
  8 0426 021 52 326352 08585 12 8459 42126 021 88354 505449 59144 63224
  31 8355 7449 021 8543 526 021 3101 95270 1851 30 5430 544 42126 021.
  726 85400 021. 828 8 62 5284 021.

This makes: “Flo, the last was wrong, I repeat it. Thou voice of my
heart, I am so lonely. I miss you more than ever. I look at your picture
ev_u_ry night. I send you an Indian shawl to wrap round you while asleep
after dinn_r_. It will keep you warm, and you must fancy my arms are
round you. God bless you. How I do love you!” It will be hard to
discover, if the last was wrong, how this can be right, as for each
error he corrects he makes another. Then we go on to the new year, and
on January 2 recommence with the following:--

  FLO.--30 282 5284 853 85990 57532 31 30 5374 5857327 9423 5 856 64453.
  021 544 30 5334 12 7228 1851 18444 305 785274 29 044327 021 12 8454
  9423 021 12 62 183270 12 422178. 8 08555 140 526 044 021 0222 84314 12
  34 50 29142 50 021 752 726 85400 021 1821 82174 29 30 84541.

Difficulties seem to have been removed by this time, for when the magic
of the key has been tried upon it the advertisement just quoted says
this: “Flo, my own love, I am happy again; it is like awakening from a
bad dream. You are, my li_m_e [? life], to know that there is a chance
of seeing you, to hear from you, to do things to enough [there is an
evident bungle here]. I shall try and see you soon. Write to me as often
as you can. God bless you, thou vo_u_ce of my heart!” The wise men who
had been content to understand this so far, now thought it time that
these turtle-doves should know they were not so wise as they supposed,
and that their cipher was being read regularly. So on January 6 the
_Times_ contained the following:--

  FLO.--1821 82374 29 39 84541. 828 8 62 5284 021. 828 544 021 08555 021
  84 5536 19 1830 094 327. 8 752 044 021 8557327 8318 0214 6545327 8851
  8 82156 7384 12 84 8318 021. 185270 924 0314 5501 541144 8 9454
  2218327 811 0495 451322 9423 021 021 544 30 82456 30 5394 30 8294.
  1821 3244 1852 5394 95448455 726 85400 021.

And this when read must have caused some feeling of consternation, as it
was an evident burlesque of the real correspondent’s style: “Flo, thou
voice of my heart! How I do love you! How are you? Shall you be laid up
this spring? I can see you walking with your darling. What would I give
to be with you! Thanks for your last letter. I fear nothing but
separation from you. You are my world, my life, my hope. Thou more than
life, farewell! God bless you!” The natural effect of this was to cause
an alarm to be given, and so on the following day the following was
inserted in the famous private column:--

  FLO.--8 9454 6454401 214 739 844 30 6307284446. 84314 51 2274 12 0214
  943426 “326352 08585.” 9. 2. 8177327853. 81770.

Which drops the curtain upon “Flo” and her lover, who is more than
likely not to have been her husband--and this without affecting the
question as to her being married. It is translated in these words:
“Flo.--I fear, dearest, our cipher is discovered. Write at once to your
friend, “Indian Shawl,” P. O., Buckingham, Bucks.” So much for secret
correspondences, which are not often to be seen nowadays, though when
any one is found foolish enough to confide in the press under these
circumstances, the comic papers almost invariably make capital out of
the communications, and give to their less acute readers full
information. Here is one we fell across the other day in the
_Telegraph_. We must admit to a decided ignorance as to what it means,
but perhaps the reader, profiting by the foregoing, will be able to
decipher it:--

  KANGAROO revived by bones, though nearly choked by a piece of one
  after swallowing five hard biscuits. Troubled. Four cat two six camel
  five two one eight pig one boar in every way. Four nine leopard one
  four elephant three four seven boar. Faithful until death.

This looks like an attempt to set the cryptographists on a wrong scent,
and probably means nothing. If it really is a genuine communication, its
scope must be extremely limited. Many of the mysterious advertisements
which appear in the usual style are very noticeable, though of late the
art has fallen a prey to the vendors of quack medicines and cheap books,
and the managers of some theatres and music-halls. What has been
characterised, and with every probability of truth, as the most ghastly
advertisement that ever appeared in a public journal is the following,
which is taken from the _Times_ of the year 1845. It certainly is a most
frightful paragraph:--

  TO THE PARTY WHO POSTS HIS LETTERS IN PRINCE’S STREET, LEICESTER
  SQUARE.--Your family is now in a state of excitement unbearable. Your
  attention is called to an advertisement in Wednesday’s Morning
  Advertiser, headed “A body found drowned at Deptford.” After your
  avowal to your friend as to what you might do, he has been to see the
  decomposed remains, accompanied by others. The features are gone; but
  there are marks on the arm; so that unless they hear from you to-day,
  it will satisfy them that the remains are those of their misguided
  relative, and steps will be directly taken to place them in the family
  vault, as they cannot bear the idea of a pauper’s funeral.

The most horrible subject has, however, a ludicrous side, and the idea
of the decomposed remains objecting to parochial interference is as
dreadfully funny as the matter generally is dreadfully shocking. In
another notice, five years later, there is, as it were, a plaintive
moan, the cry of a weak and distressed woman, who has no “strong mind”
to enable her to bear up against infidelity and loss. Listen to it:--

  THE one-winged Dove must die unless the Crane returns to be a shield
  against her enemies.

Far different is the next, which is a couple of years later, and which
displays as much strength of purpose and self-dependence as its
forerunner betrays weakness:--

  IT is enough; one man alone upon earth have I found noble. Away from
  me for ever! Cold heart and mean spirit, you have lost what
  millions--empires--could not have bought, but which a single word
  truthfully and nobly spoken might have made your own to all eternity.
  Yet are you forgiven: depart in peace: I rest in my Redeemer.

The reader can imagine the flashing eyes and indignant face of a proud
and wronged woman, as this is read; and it might well be taken as the
text for a whole volume of a modern novel. The next which we select is
still from the _Times_, and appeared several days in succession in
February 1853. It forms a good companion to that which precedes it:

  TO M. L. L.--M. L. L., you have chosen your own lot: may it be a happy
  one! and if it be so I would not have you think of the desolate heart
  you leave behind; but oh! my child, if sorrow should ever overtake
  you, if you should find, when too late, that you have been leaning on
  a broken reed; then, my Maria, come back to her whose heart has ever
  cherished you; she will always be ready to receive you.

Maybe M. L. L. has proved herself devoid of gratitude, and left a kind
home to follow the fortunes of some adventurer. But the good heart of
the advertiser does not turn sour, nor does she give vent to repining;
and so even in advertisements do we see the finest as well as the worst
sides of human nature. In the same paper that contained the address just
given we stumbled across one of the most laconic notices ever seen. It
says--

  IF H. R. will Return, I will forgive him.
  E. R.

This is evidently from a relenting parent, whose sternness has been
subdued by the continued absence of his prodigal. Most likely the latter
returned, and went away again as soon as “the guv’nor” showed signs of
resuming sway. And so on through one of those wretched dramas with which
all people must be acquainted, in which the principal characters are a
broken-hearted mother, a worn-out and prematurely old father, and an
utterly demoralised, drunken, and perhaps dishonest son, who is most
likely a brutal husband as well. Of quite another kind is this, which is
also from the _Times_:--

  TO EQUATOR.--Fortuna audaces juvat. Vincit omnia veritas.--E. W.

As we have before remarked, the newspapers of to-day give us no such
specimens of secret and mysterious advertising as those we have
unearthed, although the opportunities are far more numerous than--and we
presume the occasions quite as frequent as--they were twenty years ago,
for every daily paper, and a good many of the weeklies, now keep special
columns for the display of private announcements. Quite unique, however,
in its way is one which appeared in _Lloyd’s_ half-a-dozen years ago. It
says that

  =HARRIET AND HARRY COMPTON=
  ARE well.--124, Stamford-street, Lambeth.

The ignorance may be crass, but we are bound to confess that even now we
are not aware of the claims upon publicity of Mr and Mrs Compton. The
information is given in style worthy of a royal bulletin, and doubtless
it much interested all whom it may have concerned. A very faint attempt
at cryptography is made in an advertisement which appeared comparatively
recently in one of the penny papers, the writer of which must have had
great faith in the dulness of the British public if he thought that
backward writing would not be at once detected. This is it:--

  LUCKY 6d. and 4d.!!--Came back by train a few minutes after meeting
  you that forenoon, the only real reason for my coming. Always the same
  feeling for you as expressed. Od etirw ecno ot pihs ot yas uoy evah
  nees siht. Quite efas Rolias. Will sometimes advertise.

The next is a specimen of the present day, and is from the _Times_. Want
of logical consequence is its chief characteristic:--

  CANNOT mistake the decision of continued exceeding courtesy. Awaited,
  but could not identify. Forgive, dear, if I have been too
  superstitious. ’Tis the first fault, though twice repeated, and you
  still hold the lash.

Readers may possibly remember two rather singular advertisements which
appeared in the _Telegraph_ quite recently, and were full of gratitude
to the firm which had unwittingly led to a pleasant if questionable
acquaintance between two persons. After this luncheon-baskets will
probably be carried by all gentlemen anxious for adventure--that is,
when they travel on lines the authorities of which graciously permit
their caterers to supply them. Here is the first:--

  THE lady who travelled from Bedford to London by Midland train on the
  night of the 4th inst., can now MEET the GENTLEMAN who shared with her
  the contents of his railway luncheon basket. She enjoys the
  recollection of that pleasant meal, and would like to know if he is
  going on another journey. Will keep any appointment made at the
  Criterion in Piccadilly.--Answer to A.

The application seems to have had the desired effect, for a day or two
afterwards this was published:--

  A. will meet you at the Criterion, on Wednesday, at three. Am going on
  another journey shortly, and will provide luncheon-basket.--F. M.

Any one who has travelled a distance by Midland or any other of the
lines supplied with refreshments by Spiers & Pond, must have noted what
a great boon to the traveller is the well-stocked basket, which can be
taken in full at one station and delivered out wholly or partially
empty, according as appetite serves, at another. Yet the luncheon-basket
is a very small item in the revolutionisers’ total. Those who have
suffered under the old system of railway refreshments, will admit that
Spiers & Pond fully deserve whatever credit has been given them for
their efforts in the public interest. Ten years ago no man in his senses
would have dreamt of applying for food or drink at a railway buffet
while he could go elsewhere; now Spiers & Pond daily serve thousands who
desert the old familiar taverns and crowd the bars at the various City
stations. Among the many great feats in the way of providing for the
hungry and the thirsty performed by this firm is one which has claims
for particular notice, as it is told in an official report of a
Wimbledon meeting. For the camping-time the following is the record: Of
bread there were eaten 25,000 lbs.; of butter 3 tons; of cheese 1 ton;
of bacon 11 cwt.; of hams 3 tons; of eggs 23,350; of rolls 52,677; of
flour 36 sacks; of tea 1967 lbs.; and of coffee 2240 lbs.; 15 tons
weight of meat were eaten, and 1446 fowls, with 626 ducklings, and 304
goslings. In the way of fish, the consumption of salmon reached 6200
lbs., with 1667 soles, 400 turbot, 80 brill, and 2330 lobsters.
Vegetables were devoured to the amount of 12 tons, to which must be
added 40,000 lettuces and 500 quarts of shelled peas. In fancy pastry
5000 pieces were made, with 1120 lbs. of biscuits, and 2460 quarts of
cream and water ice. Add to these 720 baskets of strawberries, 75 lbs.
of grapes, 400 pine-apples, 287 tongues, 10,800 bottles of aerated
waters, 896 plus 522 gallons of wine, 130 dozen and 312 gallons of
spirits, 348 hogsheads of beer, 275 lbs. of tobacco, 300 boxes of
cigars, 67 gallons of salad oil, 1½ hogshead of vinegar, 150 lbs. of
mustard, 6000 gallons of claret cup, 13 cases of lemons, 84 tons of ice
brought direct from the ship’s side from Norway, 33 gallons of various
sauces, 120 gallons of pickles, 25,000 sandwiches, 24 tons of sugar, 30
cwt. of currants, and 25,000 lbs. of “Volunteer” plumcake. In addition
to these, large quantities of wines, spirits, &c., were supplied to
sutlers, messmen, and volunteers. On subsequent occasions, when, for
reasons best known to themselves, the Rifle Association has provided its
own commissariat, it has been discovered that the efforts of Spiers &
Pond were by no means overpraised at the time, and that the laudatory
notices received by the men who came from Australia to teach the mother
country a profitable lesson were well deserved. Spiers & Pond have, it
is true, met ample recognition from the press; yet now and again those
gentlemen who consider it the whole duty of a journalist to sneer at
everybody and everything have had their usual fling, and have written
about pretentious eating-house keepers, forgetful of the fact that a
dozen years or so ago they were crying their eyes out because the weary
traveller in Great Britain could nowhere find the accommodation he was
so anxious to pay for. We have been careful not to stray into the
opposite extreme, though a long course of railway journeying under the
old _régime_ of mouldy pork-pies and stale Banbury cakes has made us
feel very well disposed to a firm whose name has already passed into a
proverb.

Some little interest was exhibited in the annexed, which appeared in the
_Times_ a few weeks back, and, according to the side espoused, looks
like just indignation or brutal intolerance:--

  SHOULD this meet the eye of the lady who got into the 12.30 train at
  New Cross Station on Friday, May 15, with two boys, one of whom was
  evidently just recovering from an illness, she may be pleased to
  learn that three of the four young ladies who were in the carriage are
  very ill with the measles, and the health of the fourth is far from
  what her relations could desire.

It has been quite the fashion to say how wrong it was of the lady with
the sick boys to get into a train and spread infection; and nobody seems
to have thought that the poor lads wanted change of air--had perhaps
been ordered it. As no special provision is made for the travelling
sick--or for the matter of that, for the travelling healthy--the fault,
if fault there be, lies not with the mother, who was anxious for the
recovery of her children, but with the railway authorities. Judging from
the tone of the advertisement, we should think that the advertiser would
have resented any interference had his or her young ladies been
travelling as invalids, instead of being in that state of health which
is most subject to the attacks of disease. The case is hard, argued from
either side, but it seems very unfair to cast the blame all one way.

The last example we shall give of this kind of advertising shows that
extended space is used for “personals,” without any extension of
interest, the following being but a mild kind of raving on the part of a
weak-minded man after an obstinate woman. It appeared early during the
present year (1874) in the _Telegraph_:--

  MARY ANN C.--Do return home. You labour under an illusion. What you
  wish to accuse me with does not exist. This I solemnly declare. I have
  at last a good position, but am so wretched that I cannot attend to my
  duties properly. Many happier returns of the 1st. God’s blessing be
  with thee, and that He may tend thy heart to believe me in truth. Put
  six years of love and happiness against your accusation, and you must
  feel that you are wrong. Oh, you are very, very wrong. Do write and
  give me an appointment, so that happiness may be re-established. You
  must be very unhappy, but for God’s sake do not be so strong-minded.
  My love and devotion are unaltered. For your own peace, my sweet,
  pretty, good wife, come back. When death parts it is sad enough, but
  to part while living, and without true cause, creates and leaves
  wretchedness to both. Come back to your unhappy but true-loving
  husband.

These last extracts are quite sufficient to show the style which now
obtains in this class of advertisements, and to prove that what a score
of years ago promised to be a never-ending source of amusement has
become sadly deficient of its original properties.

Familiar to many people, among curious announcements, will be the
following, which is one of many similar that have from time to time
appeared in the leading journal:--

  THE CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER acknowledges the receipt of the first
  halves of two £10 notes, conscience-money, for unpaid Income-Tax.

The man who sends conscience-money for income-tax must have been
virtuous indeed, if the evasion of that impost has been through life his
worst sin. There are many otherwise estimable persons whose greatest
pride it is that they have never paid income-tax unless compelled. Yet
these men have in ordinary matters the greatest abhorrence of anything
mean or paltry, and their general conduct might be safely contrasted
with that of the bestowers of conscience-money. So, after all, there is
something more than a joke in the humourist’s idea of a grand new
patriotic song called “Never pay your taxes till you’re summoned, my
boys!”

Those who wear artificial teeth must have been now and again
indescribably shocked by advertisements like the following, which,
scarce a short time back, are getting more and more frequent, so that
what at first appeared a revolting riddle to the many, may have now
developed into a lucrative pursuit for the few. Is it right to suppose
that new sets of teeth are made up from second-hand materials? If so,
how horrible!

  WANTED to PURCHASE some OLD ARTIFICIAL TEETH. Persons having the above
  to sell can apply, with the teeth, or, if forwarded by post their
  value will be sent per return.--Mr ----.

Theatrical advertisements are, as has been remarked, often very funny,
and whether from ignorance on the part of the writers, or the
prevalence of technology, the columns of the _Era_ absolutely teem with
startling notices, which when coupled with the really remarkable as well
as “original” correspondence, and the provincial critiques, make the
chief theatrical organ one of the most genuine among comic papers, and
this is none the less so because the _Era’s_ comicality is
unintentional. A fair specimen of the general style is given in an
advertisement appearing in March 1874, and if our reproducing it will be
of any use to Messrs Gonza & Volta, they are quite welcome. In fact it
would be sad to think that such an effort should go unrewarded:--

  Nil Admirari.

  GONZA and VOLTA!!!

  GONZA and VOLTA!!!
  GONZA and VOLTA!!!

  The Modern Hercules and Achilles. The Goliathan Gymnasts. The
  Champions of Olympia Resuscitated. The greatest Athletes since the
  Christian Era.

  M. DE GONZA, the famous Mexican Athlete of the Golden Wing and Olympic
  Club; also of Crystal Palace, Cirques Napoleon and de l’Imperatrice
  celebrity, and late Proprietor of Gonza’s Transatlantic Combination
  Company, has much pleasure in announcing that the Colossal Sensation
  he is about submitting to the World’s criticism is in course of
  progression, and that he has secured the services of EDOUIN VOLTA, the
  grandest Aerial Bar Performer of the period, who will have the honour
  of making his First Appearance in England in conjunction with M. DE
  GONZA’S New Aerial Athletic Performance. M. DE GONZA, without desiring
  to eulogise, prognosticates that his coming achievement will introduce
  an astonishing epoch in gymnastics. In ancient days mythological
  conceptions were framed by senile philosophers for the wonder and
  delectation of the inhabitants of the world B.C., more particularly
  during the existence of Rome under the Empire, when the stupendous
  Colosseum lived in its glory, and where myriads witnessed the famous
  gladiatorial combats. In those mighty days of heroism, when the great
  pan-Hellenic festivals were held, every fourth year in Olympia,
  instituted by Iphitus, King of Elis, the ninth century B.C., when
  Athletic revels and Icarian games were as prevalent as cigar smoking
  in this generation, people were more prone to countenance the possible
  existence and marvellous exploits of the gods and goddesses.
  Evanescent ages have flown by, and in the sentiments of millions there
  now subsists a certain amount of familiarity with the intrepid and
  valiant deeds of those illustrious mythological gods Hercules and
  Achilles. They have been quoted and spoken of so often that their
  fictitiousness is forgotten. They have ingratiated their fabulous
  selves into the good graces of mankind, and become entwined around
  their minds like the ivy around the gnarled and knotted oak; and,
  although centuries have passed away, this nurtured concatenation of
  deep-rooted imaginations have not proven altogether futile, for these
  legendary and dauntless heroes actually do exist in the persons of

  GONZA and VOLTA,
  The Cyclopean Athletes of the Age.

  Anchorites, ascetics, persons of secluded and fastidious natures,
  stoics, and misanthropists, all will be metamorphosed into congenial
  spirits, and be reconciled to the world and its pleasures after
  witnessing these gigantillos and wonders of creation in the most
  surprising and surpassingly elegant gymnastic exhibition hitherto
  placed before an appreciative nation, the production of which due
  notice will be given. Meanwhile all communications are to be addressed
  to M. DE GONZA, ----.

Turning from such extremely professional exponents of art and
literature, we are reminded of one who stands in quite an opposite
position to that of the Cyclopean athletes, Dr Vellère, the champion and
foremost representative of the “unacted and unread,” of the theorists
who would regenerate the drama with their own works, and, if they could
only once be performed, would mark an epoch in the history of the stage.
Doubtless they would. About five years ago the enthusiastic Doctor--who,
being a foreigner, has a perfect right to regenerate the British drama,
as well as the British Constitution--burst forth in the _Times_, and at
once placed himself at the head of that glorious minority which, owing
to the iniquitous “ring” formed by a clique of authors, managers, and
critics, cannot get its plays, marvellously good as they are, produced;
and thus not only they, but the great British public are sufferers under
a system which Vellère & Co. will yet expose or perish in the attempt.
The first advertisement of the regenerator appeared on October 2, 1869.
It ran thus:--

  TO the PATRONS of the LEGITIMATE DRAMA and to the
  PLAY-GOING PUBLIC in GENERAL.

  Ladies and Gentlemen,--As a general outcry arose some considerable
  time ago that there was a great dearth of good, original English
  dramas, and as the recent so-called original productions of English
  dramatists have failed to stifle it--because they have either traduced
  English society or have been simply adaptations from the French
  respecting a state of society which cannot exist here, and in both
  cases have proved unpalatable to the English, and, therefore,
  unsuccessful--I, who am a writer in more than one language, resolved
  to produce a drama on purely English topics, and I was guided by the
  dictum of your immortal poet, Byron, that “Truth is stranger than
  fiction,” because all fictitious situations prove less “sensational”
  (pardon me the vernacular), as produced by those dramatists, with all
  the powerful accessories and machinery of the stage, than the simplest
  police report from the daily papers. It took me more than a year of my
  half-holidays to write the drama “Stern Realities,” and in about five
  months I wrote the play “Trust.” Now, I have been trying for the last
  eighteen months to have one of these pieces accepted, but all my
  endeavours have been in vain. The excuse was, that I am not known (a
  circumstance which, by-the-by, happened once to Shakespeare also), and
  that it is far preferable to produce the works of authors already
  known to the public, even if their more recent efforts have proved a
  failure in more than one respect. It is now for the public of this
  great country to decide whether this arrangement between Managers of
  Theatres and a certain small clique of authors is a monopoly that is
  to go on for ever; or whether it is only a false and preconceived
  notion on the part of the former regarding the want of good taste for
  superior productions on the part of the public. Though I am a
  foreigner I consider myself as one of the public who has endeavoured
  to amuse his fellow-citizens, but to whom no opportunity has hitherto
  been afforded. However, as the author of a collection of songs, of
  which some are written in English, French, and German, or English and
  German, or simply in English poetry, and which volume is entitled
  “Honi soit qui mal y pense,” and was collectively dedicated to the
  Queen, and accepted by her Majesty, containing dedications also, by
  special commission, to ladies of the highest titles, and to others
  equally exalted in attainments, I beg you to believe me, when I assure
  you, on the word of a gentleman, author, and schoolmaster, that the
  two pieces I have written will meet with your approbation. I appeal
  now to you, ladies and gentlemen, to assist me in bringing out one of
  the two pieces; and, in my humble opinion, the most effectual way,
  perhaps, in which this could be done, would be in addressing me a
  note, kindly informing me which of the two pieces, “Stern Realities”
  or “Trust,” should in your opinion be performed first, and that you
  promise you will come to see either or both. Receiving thus from you a
  great quantity of letters, I shall, armed with such a phalanx of
  patronage, present myself as the bearer of the popular will to the
  Manager of one of the London Theatres, and--we shall see! A letter
  simply addressed thus, “Dr. Vellère, Harrow,” will safely reach me.
  Trusting to hear from you at your earliest convenience, I remain,
  ladies and gentlemen, very faithfully yours,

  E. R. W. VELLERE.

  The English and Continental College,
  Harrow, October 1st, 1869.

Before the attention directed to this novelty in literature had died
away, another similar effusion appeared, and for about a twelvemonth the
_Times_ contained every three or four weeks a message of direful import
from Dr Vellère on dramatic monopoly and its probable ultimate effect on
dramatic literature and the stage generally, varied by requests similar
to those given here. Iniquity was still triumphant, however, and the
patrons of the legitimate must have been unwilling to interfere, for at
the end of the year Dr Vellère was yet unacted. He is still busy writing
plays, for he believes that success must come in the end; and if his
literary ability be in any way proportioned to his pertinacity, the
chief of the Elizabethan roll of dramatists has at last met a worthy
rival. Happily there is a way out of the difficulty with which Dr
Vellère and his friends are encompassed. Let them take a theatre, engage
actors, and play each other’s dramas in turn. If they can only agree as
to the order of production, and the relative merits of the pieces, they
are sure to succeed; for if our experience goes for anything, the
unacted and unread are sufficiently numerous to support any house of
moderate pretensions. But they mustn’t all want to be put on the free
list. That great distinction must be left for Dr Vellère and a chosen
few--composed, say, of friendly critics, and managers distraught with
the knowledge that priceless gems have been discarded, and that the new
era has at last arrived.

  [34] The letter written by the sailor with the artificial hands to the
  printer of the _Caledonian Mercury_.

  [35] Our information of this advertisement, and the clue to its
  explanation, was, as already stated, obtained from an article in the
  _Quarterly Review_. On reference to the _Times_ to discover whether
  the Jefferies portion was right or not, we could not for a long time
  find the particular notice we were in search of. At last, after the
  above was written, under date February 10, it was found; and then we
  saw that the word was “Jfhiiwola,” which subjected to the process as
  above, will give the required name. We have preferred to explain this
  in full, as the _Quarterly_ is undoubtedly entitled to the merit of
  deciphering the puzzle, if not to anything else; and any alteration or
  correction of ours would have detracted from such merit, which is
  original, and without which the quaint libel might still have remained
  in obscurity. Besides, it shows how a small printer’s error may spoil
  the calculations of a week, in matters like this.




CHAPTER XII.

_SWINDLES AND HOAXES._


It is of course only natural that as soon as advertising became general,
that portion of the community which regards the other portion as its
oyster, was not slow to discover the advantages which were soon to
accrue in the way of increased facilities for publishing new dodges, or
of giving extended scope to those which were old, but had so far
attained only limited circulation. This has been so conclusively shown
by specimens already given, and references made, that there is no
necessity to discuss the question anew, and therefore we will at once
plunge into the thick of those advertisements which have special
qualifications for treatment different from that given to the milder
classes of rogues and scoundrels. The first transaction which calls for
attention is in connection with Queen Anne’s farthings. No popular
delusion has perhaps made more dupes than that relating to these coins.
Innumerable people believe that there never were but three farthings of
this description, two of which have found their way in due course to the
British Museum, the third only being still abroad; and it is also
believed that the Museum authorities would give a very large sum for the
possession of the missing token. Now there are no less than six distinct
varieties of Anne’s farthings known to exist, and specimens of them are
not at all rare. Some of them may be procured at the coin-dealers, for
ten or twelve shillings; but there is one variety, struck in 1713, which
is extremely rare, and would bring from £5 to £10. There is also a
small brass medal or counter of Queen Anne, about the size of a
farthing, of which there are hundreds. A publican once procured one of
these, and placed it in his window, ticketed as “_the_ real farthing of
Queen Anne.” Credulous persons came from far and near to view this
wonderful curiosity, and the owner turned his deception to good account.

Sometime about the first quarter of this century, a man in Ireland
received twelve months’ imprisonment for secreting a Queen Anne’s
farthing. He was shopman to a confectioner in Dublin, and having taken
the farthing over the counter, he substituted a common one for it.
Unfortunately for him, he told his master how he had obtained it, and
offered it to him for sale. The master demanded the treasure as his
property, the shopman refused to give it up, was brought into the
Recorder’s Court, and there received the above sentence. When rogues
fall out, honest men know what they have lost. It is wrong to assume
that because thieves quarrel, their natural enemies “get their own.” At
all events, experience has never taught us so, and the proverb, as
generally read, is wrong.

Numerous are the instances of people having travelled from distant
counties to London, in order to dispose in the best market of the
supposed valuable farthing. The custodian of the medals in the British
Museum used to be besieged by applicants from all parts of the country,
offering Queen Anne’s farthings and imitations of them for sale, and of
course the dealers in coin even now receive a liberal share of the same
annoyance. Whence the treacherous fable originally sprung has never been
satisfactorily explained. It is certain that Anne’s farthings never were
very common, though of one variety, coined in 1714, not less than from
300 to 500 must have been put in circulation. But the others were mere
patterns, and were never struck for currency: all of them were coins of
great beauty, and for this reason, as well as on account of their being
the only copper coins struck in the reign of Queen Anne, it is probable
that they were soon hoarded and preserved as curiosities, thereby
acquiring an imaginary value, which grew rapidly as soon as some sharp
fellow saw how useful the figment might be made. But the immediate cause
of the popular fallacy concerning the scarcity and great value may be
found in the fact, that at the end of the last century a lady of
Yorkshire having lost one of these coins, offered a large reward for it.
Probably it was valuable to her as a souvenir of some departed friend;
but the advertisement, and the comparative scarcity of these farthings,
gradually led to the report that there was only one such token in
circulation, and that the unique coin was of course of almost priceless
value. Long before this, however, advertisements in reference to Anne’s
farthings had found their way into the papers. So far as we can
discover, the first of these appeared in the _General Advertiser_ of
April 19, 1745, and ran as follows:--

  WHEREAS about seven years ago an Advertisement was published in some
  of the Daily Papers offering a Reward for a Queen Anne’s Farthing
  struct in the year 1714.

  _This is to inform the_ CURIOUS

  That a Farthing of Queen Anne of that year of a very beautiful dye may
  be seen at the Bar of the Pensylvania Coffeehouse in Birchin Lane. The
  impression is no ways defaced but as entire as from the Mint.

This, probably, just at the time when a furor was in existence with
regard to the farthings, must have given a fillip to the business at the
Pennsylvania Coffee-house; and must have done a great deal to spread the
belief that a Queen Anne’s coin was much more desirable than the
wonderful lamp of Eastern story, or the more modern but quite as
powerful four-leaved shamrock. That in 1802 the fiction was still lively
is shown by an advertisement which appeared in the February of that
year. This was disguised so as to appear like an ordinary paragraph:--

  The Queen Anne’s farthing, advertised to be disposed of in Pall Mall,
  proves to be an original. There were only _two_ coined in that Queen’s
  reign, and not _three_ as has been erroneously stated. That which was
  sold by the sergeant from Chatham for £400, was purchased by a noble
  viscount, curious in his selection of coins, &c. Seven Hundred guineas
  was the price asked for the one advertised last week. Five hundred was
  offered for it and refused. The owner lives at Lynn, in Norfolk. The
  offer was made by the son of a baronet, who wants to complete his
  collection.

Attention and credulity were so excited by the above paragraph, and many
others of the same tendency, that no one thought of doubting that a
Queen Anne’s farthing was worth more than a Jew’s eye; nor was it till
some time after that the whole was discovered to be a fabrication,
intended either to impose upon the credulity of the public, or, what is
more likely, to enhance the value of such a coin to the holder, who was
quietly waiting to realise. Whether he did so or not does not appear,
but it is more than likely that he did not allow his opportunity to
slip, but hooked one of those unconsciously greedy people who are always
falling victims to their own selfishness as much as to the sharpers, and
who, as soon as they are deluded, look for sympathy and redress to those
very laws they were prepared to outrage when anything was apparently to
be got by so doing. The belief that Queen Anne’s farthings are very
valuable still obtains among the vulgar, notwithstanding the many times
its absurdity has been exposed; and there is no particular reason for
imagining that it will become at all exploded until some fresher but
quite as illogical a fiction is ready to supply its place.

One of the most notorious swindlers of the early part of the present
century was Joseph Ady, who used to profess that he knew “something to
your advantage.” As he did not deal in advertisements, perhaps he has no
right here; but as about 1830 he was constantly being referred to in
newspaper paragraphs, and was a feature of the time among sharpers, he
is entitled to passing notice, if only as a newspaper celebrity. At the
period we mention, “Ady was a decent-looking elderly man, a Quaker,
with the external respectability attached to the condition of a
housekeeper, and to all appearance considered himself as pursuing a
perfectly legitimate course of life. His _métier_ consisted in this. He
was accustomed to examine, so far as the means were afforded him, lists
of unclaimed dividends, estates or bequests waiting for the proper
owners, and unclaimed property generally. Noting the names, he sent
letters to individuals bearing the same appellatives, stating that, on
their remitting to him his fee of a guinea, they would be informed of
‘something to their advantage.’ When any one complied, he duly sent a
second letter, acquainting him that in such a list was a sum or an
estate due to a person of his name, and on which he might have claims
worthy of being investigated. It was undeniable that the information
_might_ prove to the advantage of Ady’s correspondent. Between this
_might be_ and the unconditional promise of something to the advantage
of the correspondent, lay the debatable ground on which it might be
argued that Ady was practising a dishonest business. It was rather too
narrow a margin for legal purposes; and so Joseph went on from year to
year reaping the guineas of the unwary--seldom three months out of a
police court and its reports--till his name became a byword; and still,
out of the multitudes whom he addressed, finding a sufficient number of
persons ignorant of his craft, and ready to be imposed upon--and these,
still more strange to say, often belonging to the well-educated part of
society.”[36] In all the police cases we have come across, in which Ady
was concerned, he seems to have considerably “sat upon” the magistrates,
the “great unpaid” of the City being quite unable to hold their own with
him, notwithstanding the disadvantage at which Joseph was placed.

The claims for precedence of the two most important advertising
swindles of the present day are so equally divided, that it is hard to
say which has caused the greater amount of ruin among credulous persons
who have invested their last few coins in the hope of the certain
success, or which has returned most profit to the exchequers of its wily
promoters. The two claimants are the Turf-Circular and the
Home-Employment swindles, both of which have been allowed full play. We
will give the “home-employment” arrangement preference of treatment, as
it appeals to wider sympathies, the victims being mostly credulous only,
and not selfishly and idiotically greedy for other folk’s goods; and
being, as well, mostly poor hard-working women, and not a few children.
One of the most notorious of these advertisers flourished half-a-dozen
years ago. He used to insert a small notice in the daily papers,
informing those who had leisure that he could find ample remunerative
employment for them, and directing applications to be made by letter at
a given address, enclosing a stamped addressed envelope. Then the
swindle commenced, the reply being as follows:--

  GROVE HOUSE, TOTTENHAM ROAD.

  ISLINGTON, LONDON, N.

  _In reply to your application as per my Notice_ (Leisure Time, _&c._,
  _&c._,) _I very respectfully inform you that it has now become
  impossible to describe my Advertisement on employing leisure time
  fully in the Newspaper in which the little abridged notice appeared,
  owing to the enormous charge demanded for inserting it, namely £2 16s.
  for each time it appears. So that in consequence I am compelled,
  reluctantly, to trouble my correspondents to forward their envelope
  for the purpose of an extended explanation, which I think cannot be
  clearer done than my forwarding in print, as under, a copy of the
  intended announcement, which after reading, and you deciding on
  sending for the packet, please deduct from the number (eighteen) the
  three Penny Postage Stamps you will necessarily have used, and only
  enclose (fifteen) which trifling outlay I think you, like others, will
  have no cause to regret._

  _Yours faithfully_,

  EVERETT MAY.

  THE UNDER WILL BEST EXPLAIN:--
  LEISURE TIME.--FOUR GUINEAS PER WEEK.--HOW TO REALISE
  THIS AT YOUR OWN HOMES.

  MR EVERETT MAY, of Kingsland, begs to apprise the Public that he is
  sending off as rapidly as possible by every post his far-famed Packet,
  the contents of which will show the many plans of getting money most
  honourably by either sex employing leisure hours at their own homes.
  £2 to £6 weekly may be most certainly realised by all industrious
  persons, without five shillings outlay or any risk, by following the
  easy, respectable and clear instructions. Sent by Mr Everett May, of
  Grove House, Tottenham-grove, Kingsland, London, N. This is no
  visionary theory. The Present Season highly suitable. Enclose eighteen
  penny stamps, and you will receive post free punctually per return
  THIS PROVED BOON TO THE INDUSTRIOUS OF BOTH SEXES.

  But to remove any doubt that sceptical persons may entertain as to the
  truth of the above, I here insert the under six letters received, with
  hundreds of others. The parties are very respectable and each
  well-known in the towns they reside.

  Calverton, near Nottingham.

  Dear Sir,--I beg to inform you that your packet came quite safe, and I
  was surprised and highly pleased with its contents. Like others who
  doubted the truth, I was ready to conclude it was only to catch those
  foolish enough to try it. But I have now proved otherwise, and can
  testify that you are no other than a true and faithful man. The
  contents of your indeed famed packet are well worth twenty times as
  much, and whoever the party may be receiving it will have no cause to
  repent. Yours very truly,

  SETH BINCH.

  Another--Spettisbury, Blanford, Dorset.

  Dear Sir,--I beg to inform you that the Packet ordered arrived safely,
  and allow me to tender you my sincere thanks for it. Your plans for
  getting money so honourably are indeed excellent. Anyone having a
  doubt may most certainly remove such doubt. Hoping you may long
  continue in your good work is the earnest wish of your obedient
  servant,

  W. OAKLEY.

Then follow the remaining four letters, which have an astonishing family
likeness to the two chosen, and as these six were only inserted to show
what the careful May would have done had he been able to launch into
lavish expenditure in the interests of his clients, he gives a statement
after the last epistle:--

  _Such is the exact copy of the advertisement I intended to have placed
  before the public by inserting in the Newspapers had the charge not
  been so high, but as I now do so by this circular I can add a few more
  of my correspondents’ approval letters, in furtherance of a still more
  convincing proof of the value of this esteemed Money Making Packet._

After this he gives a string of letters, which must have demanded great
ingenuity on the part of their writer, if only on account of the number
of signatures he must have invented. Occasionally he breaks down,
however, and has to fall back on initials. We should like to reproduce a
lot of these expressions of gratitude as forms to be used at any time
when thanks are required for any great benefit, but space will not allow
of it, and we must be content with two, which are redolent of truly
Christian thankfulness:--

  Short Heath Road, Erdington, near Birmingham, December 13th, 1867.

  Mr. May, Dear Sir,--I have received your Packet, and am at a loss how,
  adequately, to express to you what I think about it--suffice it to say
  that I consider your Packet to be an inestimable boon to the
  unemployed of every class. Thousands will, doubtless, make money by
  it. It professes only to be a guide to the employment of leisure
  hours, but in reality it is a guide to the employment of a whole life,
  and an easy path to opulence. “Whoever receives it will have no cause
  to regret.” “It is worth twenty times as much.” “Anyone having a doubt
  may most certainly remove such doubt.” I heartily re-echo these
  testimonials, and recommend your Packet to every unemployed person,
  this is no more than I am in equity bound to do. I am, Dear Sir,
  faithfully yours,

  THOMAS JONSON, JUN.

  1, Vincent Terrace, Frome, October 5th, 1867.

  Dear Sir,--I have carefully examined the contents of your excellent
  Packet, and am astonished and delighted with them. He or she would
  indeed be difficult to please who could not select from so extensive a
  stock some profitable employment congenial to their taste. The
  instructions are explicit, and the minute details in each case fully
  and clearly explained. A person of moderate industry and perseverance,
  furnished with your Packet may attain, if not a fortune, at least a
  very comfortable living. It ought to be widely known, and I for my
  part shall not fail to recommend it. I admit I answered your
  advertisement merely from a curious desire to know what was the latest
  dodge (pardon the word) for hoaxing the public, and I am now heartily
  glad I did answer it, though ashamed of the motive that induced me to
  do so. I am, Dear Sir, faithfully yours,

  JOSEPH JOHNSON, Schoolmaster.

The poor gulls, after reading these effusions, which all play on the
same strings of wonder, satisfaction, and gratitude, are of course
anxious to participate in the benefits of lucrative employment, and off
go the stamps. If the mischief ended there, the matter would not be so
bad; but these advertising scoundrels have various courses open to them.
If they judge that nothing more is to be obtained from the sender, they
calmly pocket the stamps and take no further notice. In the event of
continued “annoyance,” or threats of exposure, they will send forth a
circular which states that a packet was posted, and must have been lost
or stolen in transit. This circular speaks of the post-office, and other
institutions, in the most disparaging manner, and of the transactions of
its writers as not only just, but infallible. One of them winds up
thus:--

  _Another matter I wish to inform you upon, namely, an error prevails
  regarding the punctual and prompt conveyance of Packets by the Post
  Office. This is at times impossible. If the letter mails are heavy,
  Packets are sometimes left until the following day. So that I cannot
  guarantee it will be delivered at your residence by return, but you
  may fully expect it by the second if not by the first mail, postage
  free, well packed, and secure from observation. These remarks may
  appear trifling, but they are really necessary, and while on the
  subject I will name another, also of importance, it is this--several
  of my correspondents when applying for these particulars send only
  their name and address on a stamped envelope, and when ordering the
  Packet enclose their name and omit the address, and this not being
  retained by me renders it impossible to forward it. So that a distinct
  name and address is, in the second instance, absolutely necessary. It
  is required for no other object than to enable me to promptly forward
  the order, which I can do to any address in the United Kingdom._

The correspondent who dates from a good address, or whose letter looks
promising, is likely to be despoiled still more. The stamps are
acknowledged, and at the same time information is tendered that a
special order for the peculiar fancy goods upon which the income is to
be made has just come in; and that if the intending employée will send a
fee, say five shillings, for registration, and a deposit, say five
pounds, for security, she will receive a packet containing the
work--which is very easy--and ample instructions. A little delay enables
these wandering tribes to change both names and addresses, and to appear
in greater force than ever in the advertisement columns. No wonder the
writers we have quoted show such gratitude for the receipt of promised
parcels! But we did know two real people who got what they bargained
for. One, who only paid the eighteenpence, obtained, after a good long
time, and the expenditure of many threats, some scraps of brown paper,
which were said to be patterns for pen-wipers, “the manufacture of which
would be found to yield a lucrative profit, if a market could be found
for them.” There is much virtue in an _if_ in this case. The paper went
on to say that there were many shopkeepers who would be glad to sell
them on commission, “the article being extremely rare.” It is noticeable
that the circular received on this occasion was printed, with blanks
left for description of the patterns and the name of the work for which
they were to be used. A man of imaginative mind might in the course of
the day have run through a considerable list of trades; and as the
reference to the demand for the article and the sales by commission
would be the same in all the notices, the demand upon truth was
evidently not particularly excessive. The other successful applicant was
a lady who began by writing out of mere curiosity, and who gradually got
on until she had parted with not much less than ten pounds. A sharp
letter from a solicitor brought no answer to him, but succeeded in
sending the long-expected parcel to his client. It was heavy, and
accompanied by a short letter, which said:--

  BIRMINGHAM, October 7, 1869.

  MADAM,

  We beg to inform you that some little delay has been caused by the
  failure of a company to whom we entrusted the manufacture of a large
  quantity of articles. We have now however great pleasure in forwarding
  you a sample of an enamelled leather child’s button boot, with lasts
  and leather for you to follow model. As soon as we receive from you
  specimen equal to pattern we shall be glad to afford you constant
  employment.

  Yours obediently,

  VENTNOR AND MORRIS.

The parcel contained some old odd lasts, a really well-made little boot,
and some queer bits of leather, which the cleverest man in the world
could have done nothing with; a shoemaker’s knife, an awl, and a lump of
cobbler’s wax! This expedient enabled the swindlers to tide over the
time till a new name and a fresh address were decided on. It is worthy
of note--and we shall refer to it a little further on--that the
statement of one of these scoundrels would lead to the impression that
extra prices are charged for these swindling advertisements. If larger
prices are charged to men because their advertisements are fraudulent,
no amount of false logic or forensic oratory can dispose of the fact
that the proprietors of the papers are accessories in any robbery or
swindle that is committed; and the insertion of such advertisements,
knowing them to be traps for the unwary, at a price which denotes the
guilty knowledge of the proprietors, is as gross a breach of the trust
reposed in them by the public as was ever committed by smug, well-fed,
Sabbath-observing sinners. There is, unfortunately, but too much reason
to believe that extra prices are charged for these fool-traps, and that
in the most pious and pretentious papers. At the time of the
baby-farming disclosures which led to the execution of Margaret Waters,
one paper openly accused another--a daily of large circulation--with
charging three or four hundred per cent. over the ordinary tariff price
for the short applications for nurse children which were then usual.
Perhaps the accusation was not worth disproval--at all events it remains
uncontradicted till this day. These murderous advertisements presented
no particularly destructive features, they simply said in each case that
a nurse child was wanted at a certain address; and sometimes an offer
would be made to take a baby altogether for a lump sum. This is one of
a lot taken from a leading daily paper:--

  ADOPTION.--Child Wanted to NURSE, or can be LEFT ALTOGETHER. Terms
  moderate. Can be taken from birth. Address ----.

Sometimes the terms were mentioned, and, as a rule, the sum named showed
that even the tender mercies experienced by Oliver Twist and his friend
Dick at the farming establishment inhabited by them could hardly have
been expected by the most confiding of parents. Thus:--

  A RESPECTABLE Woman wishes to adopt a CHILD. Premium £6. Will be taken
  altogether and no further trouble necessary. Apply ----.

As some of these establishments may be still in existence, we refrain
from republishing the addresses. These specimens, as advertisements,
simply call for no comment at our hands, and so we will get on with the
more pronounced, though less guilty, swindlers. Here is a specimen which
doubtless gave the postman some extra work:--

  GENTLEMEN having a respectable circle of acquaintance may hear of
  means of INCREASING their INCOME without the slightest pecuniary risk,
  or of having (by any chance) their feelings wounded. Apply for
  particulars by letter, stating their position &c. to W. R. 37, W----
  Street C---- Square.

To such an advertisement as this--one of exactly the same kidney--which
appeared in _Lloyd’s_, under the head of “How to make Two pounds per
Week by the outlay of Ten Shillings,” and asking for thirty stamps in
return for the information, the following belongs. It is sent in reply
to the letter enclosing the fee, and is too good a specimen of the
humour possessed by these rogues to be passed over:--

“First purchase 1 cwt. of large-sized potatoes which may be obtained for
the sum of 4s., then purchase a large basket, which will cost say
another 4s., then buy 2s. worth of flannel blanketting and this will
comprise your stock in trade, of which the total cost is 10s. A
large-sized potato weighs about half-a-pound, consequently there are 224
potatoes in a cwt. Take half the above quantity of potatoes each evening
to a baker’s and have them baked; when properly cooked put them in your
basket, well wrapped up in the flannel to keep them hot, and sally forth
and offer them for sale at one penny each. Numbers will be glad to
purchase them at that price, and you will for certain be able to sell
half a cwt. every evening. From the calculation made below you will see
by that means you will be able to earn £2 per week. The best plan is to
frequent the most crowded thoroughfares, and make good use of your
lungs, thus letting people know what you have for sale. You could also
call in at each public-house on your way and solicit the patronage of
the customers, many of whom would be certain to buy of you. Should you
have too much pride to transact the business yourself (though no one
need be ashamed of pursuing an honest calling), you could hire a boy for
a few shillings a week who could do the work for you, and you could
still make a handsome profit weekly. The following calculation proves
that £2 per week can be made by selling baked potatoes:--

  “1 cwt. containing 224 potatoes sold in two evenings at
  1d. each,                                       £0 18 8
                      Deduct cost,                 0  4 0
                                                  -------
                                                  £0 14 8
                                                        3
                                                  -------
                      Six evenings’ sale,          2  4 0
  Pay baker at the rate of 8d. per evening
      for baking potatoes,                         0  4 0
                                                  -------
                      Nett profit per week,       £2  0 0.”

Many and most curious are the answers received from time to time by
persons with sufficient faith to make application to these advertisers,
the foregoing being by no means unique. One reply received in return for
half-a-crown’s worth of stamps, which were to have purchased much wisdom
in the way of money-saving, was this: “Never pay a boy to look after
your shadow while you climb a tree to see into the middle of next week.”
A man who would send his money to such evident scamps, could hardly see
into the middle of anything, no matter where he chose his
vantage-ground. Fortunately for the interests of the community at large,
these tricksters now and again are made to feel that there is justice in
the land. Twenty years ago, a City magistrate did good service by
exposing a man who lived abroad in splendour at the expense of the poor
governesses he managed to victimise through the advertising columns of
the _Times_. This rascal used, by means of the most specious promises,
to drag young girls to a foreign land, and there leave them to become a
prey to other villains, or to make their way back accordingly as
circumstances permitted. But as at the present time there are streams of
foreign girls decoyed to London under all sorts of pretexts for the
vilest purposes, the least said as to the criminality of one single
individual among the shoals of scoundrels who live by means of
advertisements the better. Since Mr Fynn was unmasked many other hawks
have been captured, and only recently two have found their way into the
obscurity of penal servitude under circumstances worthy of mention.
_Place aux dames_: we will give precedence to Mistress Margaret Annie
Dellair, though her retirement was subsequent to that of the other
claimant on our attention. The difference of date is, however, extremely
small. Mrs Dellair lived at Croydon, and for a long time lived in peace
and plenty on the post-office orders, or rather the cash received in
exchange for them, obtained by means of the following advertisement:--

  HOME EMPLOYMENT.--Ladies in town or country wishing for Remunerative
  EMPLOYMENT in Laces, Church Needlework, &c., should apply at once to
  M. D., Fern House, West Croydon, enclosing a directed envelope.
  Reference to ladies employed by permission.

This must have been a fruitful source of income to M. D., who seems to
have considered that people were calmly content to part with their
money, as she made no attempt to put off the day of reckoning which was
bound to arrive. So in due course Mrs Dellair found herself charged with
fraud before the Croydon bench, and ultimately she appeared at the bar
of the Central Criminal Court in April of the present year. Her mode of
procedure, described during the trial, was this. Applicants in due time,
after sending in their stamped and addressed envelopes, received
circulars, stating that the work which the sender was able to furnish
comprised braiding, point lace, tatting, church needlework, and Berlin
wool. The needlework was to be done at the ladies’ homes, and they were
never to earn less than eightpence or a shilling per hour. To secure
employment the applicants were informed that the payment of one guinea
“for registration fee, materials, and instruction,” was required, half
of which sum was to be returned when the employment was resigned.
Post-office orders were to be made payable at the office, Windmill
Street, Croydon, to Margaret Dellair. “There is,” says a writer at the
time commenting on this case, “something quite admirable in this calm
repudiation of the anonymous, in this wearing of the heart upon the
sleeve, on the part of Mistress Dellair. The bait she threw out was
swallowed with avidity by many young ladies--some with more money than
wit, others painfully anxious to secure bread-winning employment; others
less solicitous about procuring work for themselves than inquisitive to
discover, for the benefit of society in general and their friends in
particular, whether the transaction was _bonâ fide_. Then the curtain
rose on the second act of the drama. Some ladies sent post-office
orders to Windmill Road; others took the train to Croydon, and had
personal interviews with the benevolent recluse of Fern House--a little
cottage near a wood--who did not fail to represent that she was
extensively employed by some eminent firms of church furnishers in the
metropolis.” One young lady having sent her guinea, received, after a
lapse of some weeks, and after repeated communications on her part, ten
toilet-mats, with the materials for braiding them. There was not enough
braiding, and so she wrote for more, but received no reply. Then she
finished the mats with materials purchased by herself, and despatched
the articles to Croydon; but neither reply nor payment was forthcoming.
After many more weeks Mrs Dellair wrote to say that she was in
ill-health. Seeing, however, that the advertisement was continued in the
papers, the defrauded young lady wrote to Fern Cottage, demanding the
return of ten shillings, being one-half of the sum she had disbursed for
“registration fee, materials, and instruction.” No answer was returned,
of course; and the victim not only lost her money, but her time and her
labour, to say nothing of postage, worry of mind, and other incidental
expenses. One of the principal witnesses against Dellair was the Croydon
postmaster, who stated that he had known her a year and a half. She had
been in the habit of bringing post-office orders to his office to cash.
She had brought between three and four hundred orders since July 1872,
principally for guineas, but there were some for half-crowns and some
for half-guineas. They were brought principally by her daughter, but
sometimes by a servant. On the 30th of October 1873 a post-office order
(produced) was brought to him, and the payee’s signature was that of the
prisoner. He paid the money to the person who brought it. The house at
which the prisoner lived was a small private house, called Fern Cottage,
and there was no show of business kept up there. On cross-examination by
prisoner’s counsel, the postmaster stated that the fact of so many
orders being cashed by Mrs Dellair excited his suspicion. He, however,
knew that she was getting her living by sending parcels of needlework by
post, and since he had ascertained that fact, he did not think it so
extraordinary. Mrs Dellair was in the habit of purchasing postage stamps
in large quantities of him. She sometimes purchased ten shillings’
worth, and once or twice had bought them to a larger extent. At the
trial the entire seat in front of the jury-box was filled by young women
who attended to prosecute, some of whom had been prudent enough to ask
for references, but imprudent enough to part with their guineas,
although the testimonials received were not quite satisfactory. Some
applicants had interviews with Dellair at Croydon, and then she gave the
names of one or two eminent firms as her employers, but at the trial
representatives of these firms swore that she was totally unknown to
them. One of the most peculiar points in this trial was the line taken
by the counsel for the defence, who argued that although the victims of
his client might be deserving of sympathy, they had parted with their
guineas in a foolish and careless manner, and the real question was
whether the accused was guilty of a fraudulent pretence or not. The
advocate raised the curious point in favour of his client, that although
she had avowedly four hundred transactions with different persons, it
was extraordinary that she had not been discovered and prosecuted
before; but he forgot how much more extraordinary it was that for her
defence the prisoner was unable to bring forward out of her four hundred
clients a single witness who could swear to receiving remunerative
employment from her. The defence was original, and originality in
defence has a good deal to do with success when a case is being tried by
a common jury; but it did not succeed, and Mrs Margaret Annie Dellair
was found guilty. The woman was an impudent and abandoned swindler, who
had been systematically preying for years upon a class that can, of all
classes, the least afford to be cheated--decently-educated young women
of small means, who fill respectable positions, and whose consequent
need of employment which will enable them to earn a little something
above their ordinary salaries is always pressing and frequently
imperative. Before sentence was passed an inspector from Scotland Yard
stated that the prisoner and her husband had formerly lived at Finchley
under another name; that they had afterwards kept a shop in Bloomsbury
under the title of “Fuller & Co.,” where they advertised to give
“remunerative employment” both to young ladies and young gentlemen; that
in May 1872 the husband was sentenced at the Middlesex Sessions to five
years’ imprisonment for fraud; that on his conviction the woman removed
to Fern Cottage; and that after her arrest, and its consequent
publication in the papers, upwards of eighty letters had been received
by the police complaining of her dealings. All that Margaret Annie
Dellair could do when she was called up for sentence was to plead that
she had been left in an all but penniless condition with seven young
children; that she had tried in vain to obtain an honest livelihood by
keeping a stall in a bazaar; and that her crime was caused by a desire
to avert starvation from her innocent offspring. A good deal of sympathy
was of course expressed by the public--especially by those who have
nothing to lose--not for the victims, but for the victimiser. The
interest taken in criminals nowadays, when they have the slightest
claims to be out of the common order, would be regarded as quite
overdrawn if described in a novel.

The other delinquent was not so interesting, and being only a man, did
not find any hearts to bleed for him even among those who had not been
deceived. His practices were provincial, his advertisement, of which the
following is a copy, being inserted in the Warwickshire and London
papers:--

  HOME EMPLOYMENT.--Ladies (several) wanted to COPY manuscript SERMONS
  for supply to the clergy. Reasonable terms. Apply by letter only to R.
  H., 39, New-buildings, Coventry.

R. H. was Robert Hemmings, who was eventually tried at the Warwick
Assizes of last March, and whose _modus operandi_ was then described.
Several young ladies seeing the advertisements, and wishing for
employment, wrote to the address given, in answer to which they received
the “Prospectus of the Private Office for the Supply of Sermons and
Lectures to Clergymen and Public Speakers.” In this highly-titled and
pretentious document, clergymen “who find the composition of sermons too
heavy a tax on their ingenuity, are invited to subscribe for manuscript
sermons, arranged according to the three schools of thought in the
English Church. The High Church section is subdivided into Ritualistic
and moderate Anglican. The subscription for three sermons weekly is four
guineas per annum, payable in advance. The same sermon will not be sent
to any two clergymen within twenty miles of each other.” It also states,
that the business of the office rendering necessary the employment of
copyists, it has been decided to employ ladies only, the reason being
that home occupation to gentlewomen of limited income is such a great
desideratum of our times. Then it goes on to say that “the ordinary
avenues for respectable women desiring to replenish their scanty purses
are so overstocked that the limited number we are able to employ will
gladly welcome the opportunity of turning a fair handwriting to a
profitable account. The remuneration paid will be 2d. per 100 words. To
avoid the possibility of unscrupulous persons obtaining valuable sermons
on pretence of copying, a guarantee of 10s. will be required from each
copyist before MSS. are sent, to be returned when she may discontinue
working. Applicants for employment should enclose 2s. 6d. on account of
their deposit, which will either be returned or a notification of
engagement sent. In the latter case the balance must then be remitted,
in order that the first parcel may be supplied. All communications to be
sent to Mr Robert Hemmings, 39, New-buildings, Coventry.” One young lady
resident in London, who gave evidence, sent the half-crown, and then
received a letter stating that she would be employed on forwarding a
post-office order to Birmingham for 7s. 6d. She did not do so, but many
other ladies were not so wise. The prisoner having obtained the money,
ceased to communicate with the applicants. The jury found the prisoner
guilty, and the judge sentenced him to twelve months’ imprisonment with
hard labour.

A more fortunate rogue was one who came into notice at the Sussex
Assizes four or five years back. Justice may or may not have overtaken
him since, for these fellows have so many and such various aliases that
unless you happen to see one tried and hear him sentenced, there is no
way of telling who he is or what he may have been. The object of our
care at the present moment was known at Bognor in Sussex as Henry
Watkis, though as he admitted to one more name, the suggestive one of
Walker, even there, it would be difficult to say what might be his name
in London or any other large town. He used to advertise to procure
situations in London daily and weekly papers, and some complaints having
been made to the police, he was taken into custody on a warrant, and
appeared at the Chichester Quarter Sessions. From a newspaper report of
the time we take some of the following particulars of what must be
considered a decided miscarriage of justice.

Watkis lived at 6 Jessamine Cottages, Bognor, and when the
superintendent of police from Chichester searched his cottage, he found
under the stairs 530 letters, consisting of testimonials, replies to,
and drafts of advertisements; and in another part of the house he found
about 150 envelopes, apparently sent for replies, from which stamps had
been cut. When Watkis was apprehended, he acknowledged that he was the
person who had been advertising in the name of “B. C., Post-office,
Chichester,” by which it seems that he had still another alias, though
not in Bognor. On that day he sent a lad to the Chichester post-office,
and a large bundle of letters, addressed as above, was brought back from
the office. In the course of a few days after Watkis’s apprehension,
between seven and eight hundred letters were received at the post-office
all directed in the same way. Evidence was given that advertisements
were inserted in the _Daily Telegraph_ and _Lloyd’s_ in consequence of
orders received in letters signed “Hy. Watkis,” and “Hy. Walker.” About
500 letters were received at Chichester, addressed “X. Y. Z,” in
accordance with one of the advertisements, and a very large number were
also received at Emsworth under still a fresh set of initials.
Altogether nearly 20,000 letters are supposed to have been sent to the
two offices for the accused. It was proved that 34s. worth of stamps,
all singles, had been sold by Watkis. At the conclusion of the address
for the prosecution, the deputy recorder ruled that there was no case to
go to the jury as far as the law was concerned. There was no proof that
Watkis had, either on his own part or on that of others, no such
situations to offer as had been advertised. The jury were not satisfied
without hearing the evidence that the prisoner was not guilty. The
deputy recorder said they had placed him in a very difficult position,
and he must tell them again that the indictment could not be maintained
in point of law. Therefore they would be doing a very irregular thing to
go into the case. It was for them to find a verdict in accordance with
the ruling of the court on the point of law. After some discussion the
jury returned into court, and the foreman, in answer to the usual
question, said, “If we are obliged to say not guilty, we must; but the
jury wish to express a strong opinion.” By advice of the deputy
recorder, however, this opinion was not recorded, and the prisoner was
accordingly discharged.

We will wind up this portion of our list of swindles with an
advertisement of the same order, which succeeded in realising a good
income for its promoter:--

  LADIES and EDUCATED WOMEN are respectfully invited to consult Mrs.
  EGGLESTON’S SERIES of 60 HOME and other NEW EMPLOYMENTS, which are
  beginning to attract a large share of public interest for their marked
  superiority over very unremunerative pursuits usually engaged
  in.--Enclose an addressed stamped envelope to Mrs Eggleston, ----,
  Ramsgate, for prospectus.

Sixty different businesses to choose from for home employment! Dollseye
and leather-apron weaving was doubtless among them; and in sorting out
those occupations most suited to her various correspondents, Mrs
Eggleston doubtless passed a pleasant time at the seaside, even if she
did not lay up riches against the time she returned to London.

Turf-swindlers are next upon our list, and no one will doubt that these
gentry are well deserving of attention, the more so as, partly by
themselves, and partly by means of the shortsightedness peculiar to the
public, which causes it to form judgments on subjects it does not
understand, welchers and thieves who advertise the most impossible
“certainties” have been in numerous instances taken to represent the
respectable and honourable turfite. We know it is the custom now to
assume that a man is bound to be dishonourable if he be professionally
connected with racing in any capacity; and any effort made to contradict
wholesale and thoughtless accusations is supposed to be the outcome of
self-interest, or the blind devotion of quixotry. Men who are cool and
calculating enough when discussing ordinary subjects, become almost
rabid when the turf is mentioned; and in most articles which have been
written on the subject of sporting advertisements, it is assumed that
the scheming concocters of baits for fools are fair representatives of
the bookmaking class, and all are alike denounced. Surely it would be as
just to assume that the baby-farmers and promoters of home employment
whose effusions we have quoted were fair representatives of ordinary
commerce, as that the “discretionary-investment” promoter is in any way
connected with the legitimate bookmaker. We have no wish here to argue
for or against betting; but we cannot help noticing that even in
Parliament--which is never supposed to legislate upon what it does not
understand!--notorious thieves have been taken to represent the
principal advertising bookmakers, and long arguments as to the equity of
the Betting-House Act framed on the assumption. During the present year
there has been considerable discussion in the House of Commons with
reference to the Act which was passed in 1853, Scotland being at the
time exempt from its operation. The effect of leaving the “land of
cakes” in the position of one who is known to be too virtuous to need
protection was not visible for some years; for though the Act of Sir
Alexander Cockburn had the effect of clearing away the numerous
betting-offices, which were undoubtedly at the time public nuisances and
open lures to men whose speculative disposition was in inverse
proportion to its means of gratification, the better-class agents, whose
business was carried on through the post only, continued to flourish or
decay, according to circumstances, until 1869. The attention of the
police being then drawn to numerous advertisements which appeared in the
London and provincial papers on the subject of betting, a raid was made
on a large establishment near Covent Garden: books and papers, clerks
and managers, were seized and conveyed to Bow Street; and though the
employés were ultimately discharged, the proprietor was ultimately fined
heavily, the decision of the magistrate being eventually endorsed by the
judges to whom the case was referred on appeal. A flight of betting men
resulted, the resting-place of some being Glasgow, and of others
Edinburgh; from both of which places they put forth their advertisements
as before, safe in the knowledge that so far, at all events, the law was
on their side. The extension of the Act of 1853 was of course only
matter of time; but the first two or three efforts failed signally,
principally on account of the blind animosity of the promoters of the
measure, which caused them to frame bills which, for intolerance and
hopeless stupidity, have perhaps never been equalled. Another cause was
a feeling that, while one form of betting was allowed at Tattersall’s
and the chief sporting clubs--a form which had shown itself equal to
ruining several peers and hundreds of young men of less degree--it was
impolitic to over-legislate with regard to the half-crowns and
half-sovereigns of working men and small tradesmen, and to say to them,
while yet the terrible “plunging” years were fresh in memory, “Dukes and
marquises only shall ruin themselves at will, you, the common people,
must be saving as well as industrious.”

At last Mr Anderson, one of the members for Glasgow, introduced his
Extension Bill (1874), and though his arguments were eminently
ridiculous, as he assumed that every advertiser was a swindler, his
legislative attempt was a much greater success than any former effort
had been in the same direction, and his bill, with a few modifications,
eventually became law. As an instance of the feeling to which this
measure gave rise, we quote part of a criticism upon it from the most
able of the sporting papers which make the turf their principal study,
the _Sportsman_, the first journal that refused the advertisements of
swindlers whose intentions were evident, a method of self-abnegation
which might be studied to advantage by many virtuous newspapers, which,
while they weep over the iniquity of sporting advertisements, are
strangely oblivious as to the character or effect of those which appear
in their own columns. It must be remembered that the “ring” and
Tattersall’s betting--of which mention is made in the following--is not
interfered with by law, because nothing is staked before the decision of
the race but “honour.” This, being often deeply mortgaged, is found
insufficient for the demand when settling-day arrives.

Says the writer in the _Sportsman_, after demolishing several of the
charges made against ready-money betting: “Take the case of those who
bet in the ring, or at Tattersall’s, or in the clubs. What guarantee is
there between the contracting parties that there shall be no element of
fraud, and consequently no immorality in the transaction? And what
guarantee is there that one or other of the contracting parties who is
induced to bet is not a person who cannot afford to lose? There is an
inducement to bet on either side: on the side of the layer and on the
side of the backer, and will any one acquainted with the subject be
prepared to say that in scores of cases there is not on both parts a
total inability to pay in the event of loss? What man is there who,
having seen much of the ring, cannot recall many instances of layers
betting to such an extent that they could never pay if the fates were
against them, and of backers ‘having’ the ring all round without a
sovereign in their pockets? Nay, cannot even the general public who are
not initiated into such mysteries remember numbers of men who have
ruined themselves and others under the system in which Mr Anderson ‘does
not feel there is any immorality,’ because in it ‘the element of fraud
is not introduced,’ and because under it ‘people who cannot afford to
lose’ are not induced to bet? The result of his bill will be that he
will drive men from one style of betting, in which they lose or win,
knowing the extent of their gains or their losses, to another, under
which they may be drawn into hopeless speculation, and perhaps
concomitant fraud, simply because they are not called on for ready
money. We do not propose to follow Mr Anderson through his ingenious and
amusing descriptions of the advertisements of tipsters and
‘discretionary-investment’ people. He was good enough to introduce
ourselves as a striking example of the facility with which such persons
could foist their schemes on the public, and of the large profits which
were derived by certain newspaper proprietors from them. He had the
honesty to acknowledge that we had refused to take any further
announcements with respect to ‘discretionary investments,’ and that we
had persistently cautioned our readers to have nothing to do with
them.... As for tipsters, who merely offer to give information for a
shilling’s worth of stamps, what immorality can there be in that which
is not to be found in the ‘selections’ of the daily newspapers? Even the
_Times_, in a roundabout ‘respectable’ way, now and then indicates
horses which, in the opinion of its sporting writer, will win certain
races, and there is hardly a daily paper in town or country which has
not its regular ‘prophet,’ who from day to day lifts up his voice or his
pen and offers inducements to the public to bet. Can any one of such
journals say to us, ‘I am holier than thou, because I sell my prophecies
for a penny, and thou insertest the advertisements of men who want a
dozen stamps for theirs’? But the whole policy of objecting to certain
classes of advertisements is absurd. If the proprietor of a newspaper
were to inquire, even superficially, into the _bona fides_ of all the
announcements he makes every day, his journal could not be conducted. If
he were even to confine his attention to the examination of the
prospectuses of joint-stock companies--and this will appeal to Mr
Anderson--he would be in the Bankruptcy Court in six months. Suppose the
directors of any one of hundreds of bubble concerns which every year
carry away the public with ‘bogus’ announcements were to appear before
the manager of the _Times_ with their prospectuses, what would they
think if he said, ‘Gentlemen, before I insert this you must prove to me
that it is not a gross swindle;’ and how would they proceed to do so?”

We admit to a weakness for reading the sporting papers, and can
therefore vouch for the truth of what the _Sportsman_ says about its own
action. It would have been well, however, if other papers had been as
careful, for we happen to know that all the contemporaries of the
journal from which we have quoted did not come out with quite such clean
hands. Some not only continued to insert the advertisements, despite
numerous complaints, but actually _doubled the usual tariff price_ to
the thieves. This seems to have been a pretty general proceeding when
the discretionary movement was at its height, all papers which continued
to insert the specious swindles after the exposures had begun being very
careful to be well paid for their trouble. As in these days the plain
truth is often the most desperate of libels, we must refrain from
particularising; but we should think that no one in his sober senses
will dispute the evident fact that such newspaper proprietors as took
double pay from men because they knew they were assisting them in
robbery, were morally far and away more guilty than the robbers
themselves. If any apology is needed for our going so far into the
betting subject, it will be found in the almost total ignorance, as well
as the blind prejudice, which is every day manifested about the
difference between the commission agents and their greatest enemies, the
advertising welchers.

The raid which drove the bookmakers from London to the principal towns
in Scotland seems almost to have been organised by the authorities in
the interest of the scamps of the betting world. It certainly was
considerably to the latter’s advantage. In the hurry and turmoil which
eventuated from the hegira, it was hard for people who were not experts
to tell the good men from the bad; and as, the more unfounded a man’s
pretensions, the greater were his promises, letters containing
remittances almost swarmed into the offices least worthy of confidence.
One good, however, resulted from this. The conversion of sinners we have
the best authority for regarding as a blessing, and it must be admitted
that owing to the manner in which money poured in upon them, and one or
two subsequent bits of luck in the way of unbacked horses’ victories,
men who went to Glasgow and Edinburgh as adventurers, if not as actual
thieves, remained to become not only solvent, but strictly virtuous. It
was not, however, until affairs had somewhat settled down in the North,
until Scotland began to be regarded as the permanent abode of the layer
of odds, that advertisements which on the face of them were gigantic
swindles appeared. Hitherto the attempts of impostors had been confined
to a semblance of really fair and legitimate business, the firm being
existent as long as there was nothing to pay, and _non est_ immediately
the blow came. And people who imagine that a bookmaker has nothing to do
but take money, would respect him rather more than they do now if after
one or two big races they could see his account, and note the scrupulous
manner in which every debt is paid, if he bids for respectability in his
vocation. A delay of a day in his settlement would lead to unpleasant
results, for the very contiguity of the thieves makes the honest men
more exact in their transactions. So it is usual, when a man has money
to receive by post from a commission agent, for him to get it at once,
or most likely not at all. The tipstering and touting fraternities had,
while the headquarters of advertising turfites remained in London, been
satisfied with short paragraphs intimating their absolute knowledge of
the future, and their willingness to communicate such knowledge to the
British public for a consideration in the way of stamps, or a percentage
on winnings. But when once ready money had been tasted, it seemed to act
on these people as blood is said to on tigers, and they determined to
have more at all risks. It was useless to try for it a year or so after
the migration by applications couched in the ordinary style, for the run
of business was by that time divided among certain firms, and the old
slow way of giving advice for shillings and sixpences was abhorrent to
minds that soared after bank-notes and post-office orders; besides, it
had very nearly worn itself out. Fresh moves were therefore necessary,
and they were made in various ways, each of which was more or less
successful. The most important of them all, and the one with which we
have to do now, was the discretionary-investment dodge, which was for a
time a complete success, and which would have lasted much longer than it
did, had it not been for the faculty of imitation possessed by thieves
other than those who inaugurated the venture. Imitation may be the
sincerest form of flattery, but even flattery must be painful when it is
destructive, and Messrs Balliee & Walter could doubtless have dispensed
with the crowds who followed in their wake, and almost made the fortunes
of all papers who would take their advertisements. We are not aware
whether the system was invented by Balliee & Walter, either or both;
but, anyhow, they were its first promoters to any extent, and became
thoroughly identified with it. Rumour states that Balliee was a kind of
Mrs Harris, and that Walter was the firm. This is nothing to us, though,
however much it may be to those who were despoiled of their cash by the
discretionary swindle. The advertisements put forth for the benefit of
those willing to trust their money blindly into the hands of men of whom
they knew nothing must have been very successful, for it is admitted
that the letters received in Glasgow for Balliee & Walter were so
enormous in quantity that special arrangements had often to be made for
their delivery. It is noticeable that swindlers of this description
always assume that their firm is not only long established but well
known, and the following, taken from the first page of the _Sporting
Life_ of the Derby-day 1871, will show that the particular people in
question had no scruple about inventing facts for the purpose of
substantiating their arguments:--

  THE KINGSCLERE LONDON AND GLASGOW TURF
  COMMISSION AGENCY.

  Messrs. BALLIEE and WALTER beg to inform their subscribers and the
  sporting public that, in consequence of increase of business, they
  have opened a Commission Agency in Glasgow, where in future all
  commissions will be executed.

  Gentlemen may rely on liberal treatment and prompt settlement of all
  claims. All letters answered same day as received.

       *       *       *       *       *

  MESSRS. BALLIEE AND WALTER

  (Members of the principal West-End Clubs),

  62, JAMAICA STREET, GLASGOW.

  As heretofore, Commissions of every description, and to any amount,
  will be undertaken, the following being the leading features:--

  INVESTMENTS ON FORTHCOMING EVENTS effected at the best Market Prices.

  FIRST FAVOURITES backed at the post, and the rate of odds guaranteed
  as quoted by the sporting paper the investor chooses to adopt.

  JOCKEYS’ MOUNTS invested upon in accordance with any scale or
  principle.

  POST COMMISSIONS for EPSOM MEETING will meet with prompt attention.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE EPSOM CARNIVAL.

  THE OAKS A CERTAINTY.

  “So if to be a millionaire at present is your aim,
  Don’t hesitate, but join at once our systematic gains.”

  Shakspeare, revised and improved.

  A SAFE INVESTMENT.--WINNING A CERTAINTY.

  KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR
  DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.

  Messrs. BALLIEE and WALTER, Proprietors
  (Members of the principal West-End Clubs).

  The only recognised method by which backers of horses can win large
  sums at all the principal meetings.

  PROSPECTUSES FREE ON RECEIPT OF ADDRESS.

       *       *       *       *       *

  MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER draw the attention of investors to the
  all-important fact that they alone of all firms who undertake
  Discretionary Investments are to be seen personally in the Ring, and
  are represented at the lists outside, at every meeting throughout the
  racing season. Some firms, although they state they are present, are
  never to be seen.

  SELECTED MORTEMER TO WIN AND A PLACE
  FOR CHESTER CUP;
  THE DWARF,
  GREAT NORTHERN;
  LORD HAWTHORN,
  FLYING DUTCHMAN;
  STANLEY,
  DONCASTER SPRING HANDICAP;

  With nearly every other winner at York and Newmarket.
  We defy contradiction, and court inquiry.

  RESULTS OF LATE MEETINGS:--

  Each £10 investor at York was remitted by Friday’s post (May 12) £108
  nett winnings.

  Each £5 investor at Doncaster was remitted by Monday’s post, £85.

  Being exclusive of stake and nett return after commission (5 per
  cent.) had been deducted.

  Newmarket accounts and winnings were forwarded by Tuesday’s post, May
  16.

  Gentlemen of capital and backers of horses can now judge of the
  intrinsic value of this infallible system of backing our Final
  Selection at the post.

       *       *       *       *       *

  MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER will continue their highly successful
  system of DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS at the

  EPSOM MEETING,

  where they personally attend, and as such a great influx of business
  is expected during the Derby Week, they have engaged three extra
  Commissioners to assist them in carrying out the system, and again are
  sanguine of realising a gold-achieving victory.

  AT EPSOM MEETING LAST SUMMER, SEASON 1870,

  Each £25 investor was returned £703 nett Winnings, in addition to
  stake deposited.

  Each investor of £20 in 1868 realised £487.
        „          £25 „  1869    „     £324 15s.
        „          £50 „  1870    „     £1,406.

  The above sums were paid to each investor of the specified amounts,
  and this season we with confidence assert that the investments will be
  more remunerative to the investor.

  The Oaks this season will be won by, comparatively speaking, an
  outsider. Last season’s subscribers will remember our warning them
  against Hester, and we assure our readers that Hannah will, like all
  the Baron’s favourites, be doomed to defeat. A clever Northern
  division have a filly the beau ideal of Blink Bonny, as being tried a
  7℔ better animal than Bothwell, and with health must win the fillies’
  race in a canter. The owner most unfortunately omitted to enter her
  for the Two Thousand and Derby, or we should have seen her credited
  with the first-named event, and first favourite for Blue Riband
  honours.

  SEVERAL RODS ARE IN PICKLE

  for the minor events. Particulars were given in our last week’s
  Circular (May 12), and even at this distant period we are enabled to
  predict the success of six certain winners.

  HAVING HORSES OF OUR OWN,

  and others identical with our interests, running at this meeting,
  coupled with the important commissions we have the working of at
  EPSOM.

  Our knowledge of market movements, the intimate terms we are on with
  the various owners, jockeys, and trainers, our social position with
  the élite of the racing world, enables us to ascertain the intentions
  of other owners and the chances their respective candidates
  possess--information far beyond the reach of other advertisers.

This is by no means all; we merely pause to take breath and recover
self-possession, after a steady perusal of Mr Walter’s benefactions. It
is noticeable that the standard of verse employed by these
philanthropists is about on a par with their standard of morality. It
seems wonderful that any sane person should believe in the existence of
a certain guide to the winning-post, and the idea that, if there had
been such a thing, Messrs Balliee & Walter would have assuredly used it
for themselves alone, never seems to have entered into the heads of
their victims, at all events until too late. After the vaunt about
position and information, the intimates of “the _élite_ of the racing
world” go on:--

  MESSRS. BALLIEE and WALTER, alone of all firms that undertake
  Discretionary Investments, are to be seen personally in the Ring, and
  they wish to draw the attention of Turf speculators to the fact that
  NO OTHER ADVERTISERS ARE OWNERS OF HORSES, despite what they may say
  to the contrary. If their systems equalled ours, would they not accept
  the challenge given by us for the past twelve months in the various
  sporting papers? Vide commencement of advertisement.

  So sanguine are we of success at Epsom, the innumerable and peculiar
  advantages presented, and every facility being offered for the
  successful working of our

  DISCRETIONARY METHOD,
  that we are enabled to
  GUARANTEE AGAINST LOSS,
  and assert with confidence that
  WINNING IS REDUCED TO AN ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY.

  DEPOSIT REQUIRED FOR DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS AT THE
  EPSOM SUMMER MEETING:--
  £500, £100, £50, £25, £10, or £5.

  By investing in accordance with this infallible method of backing our
  final selections at the post, loss is simply an impossibility, and
  guaranteed against,

  WINNING BEING REDUCED TO AN ABSOLUTE
  CERTAINTY.

  This often-repeated assertion (and not once contradicted for the past
  five years), and the winnings realised weekly for subscribers who
  patronise this system, is sufficient to prove its intrinsic value.

  This is just the sort and class of meeting for gentlemen of capital
  and systematic investors to invest a £500 or £1,000 bank, being indeed
  a golden opportunity that all should embrace. The fact of our
  guaranteeing

  A WIN EQUAL TO OUR SUCCESS OF LAST SUMMER,
  and, as previously stated,
  GUARANTEE TO HOLD THE INVESTOR AGAINST LOSS OF EVEN A
  FRACTIONAL PART OF CAPITAL EMPLOYED,

  should be sufficient to convince gentlemen of the true character and
  value of this infallible method of backing our final selections at the
  post.

  CAN ANY SYSTEM BE SO LUCRATIVE TO THE
  INVESTOR?

  Our position as owners of horses and proprietors of “THE KINGSCLERE
  RACING CIRCULAR,” the most successful medium of all Turf advices, and
  has treble the circulation of any other circular published; the
  flattering encomiums passed on our “Infallible Method” by the Sporting
  Press of the United Kingdom, and being recommended by them as

  “The only recognised method by which backers of horses can win
  large sums at all the principal meetings;”

  coupled with our position as the most influential Commission Agents
  both in the London and Manchester Markets, ensure gentlemen entrusting
  us with Discretionary Investments being fairly and honestly dealt
  with, and the successes that we promise and achieve meeting after
  meeting in the columns of this and other papers.

       *       *       *       *       *

  FACTS ARE STUBBORN THINGS.

  The following average results speak volumes in favour of this
  method:--

  The following successes have been achieved this season by

  THE KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR’S
  INFALLIBLE METHOD
  OF
  DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS.

  Each £25 investor at Enfield received nett winnings value £200.

  Each £10 investor at Lichfield was remitted by Thursday’s post (April
  13) £82 10s., being winnings and stake included, after the 5 per cent.
  commission had been deducted.

  Each investor of a £10 stake at the Lincoln Meeting received nett
  winnings of £180 10s. by Tuesday’s post, March 28.

  Each investor at Liverpool in accordance with this system, on two
  investments, viz.,

  THE LAMB         Win,
  SCARRINGTON      A place,

  realised £75 with each £10 invested.

  A £10 stake realised £200 nett winnings at the Burton (Lincoln)
  Meeting.

  A £25 stake invested on Waterloo Cup realised £300,

  MASTER MCGRATH

  being selected right throughout the piece, and again in finals with
  Pretender.

  A £10 stake realised at the Cambridgeshire Meeting the sum of £240
  nett winnings.

  A £5 stake at the West Drayton Meeting realised £30 nett winnings.

  Bromley and several other meetings were also highly successful.

  At Croxton Park each £10 invested realised £102 nett.

  Each £25 invested at Thirsk realised £150.

  THE ABOVE AMOUNTS HAVE BEEN PAID THIS SEASON TO ALL PATRONS WHO
  ENTRUSTED US WITH DISCRETIONARY INVESTMENTS OVER THESE MEETINGS, again
  proving the value of this method over all others advertised.

  The past augurs well for the future, as the above successes testify.
  We personally attend EPSOM, and are always successful at this meeting.

  A LOSS HAS NEVER OCCURRED TO FOLLOWERS OF OUR SYSTEM, and this season
  we are even more than ever confident of success.

  Cash reaching us on Thursday will be in time for two days’
  investments; and cash arriving by Friday’s first post will be invested
  on Oaks winner and the last day of the meeting.

  Five per cent. deducted from all winnings.

  THE LARGER THE STAKE, THE GREATER SCOPE IS AVAILABLE
  FOR LUCRATIVE SPECULATION.
  LOSS OF STAKE IS IN ALL CASES GUARANTEED AGAINST.

  The opulent winnings realised weekly throughout the season cannot fail
  to convince systematic speculators that this system is the par
  excellence of all methods for winning large sums at each and every
  important race-gathering.

  Winnings and account of investments will be forwarded on Monday, May
  29.

  Investors can have their winnings (less 5 per cent.) remitted by open
  cheque or bank notes, as preferred, by signifying their wishes on that
  point when remitting cash for investment.

  One trial is sufficient to prove to the most sceptical the value of
  this method over all others advertised. Gentlemen who have lost their
  money in the so-called winning modus swindles, or through following
  their own fancies, advice of puffing tipsters, newspaper selections,
  backing first favourites, jockeys’ mounts, or any other system, should
  give our infallible method a trial at the Epsom Meeting. Cash should
  be forwarded to reach us on or before Tuesday, addressed to Mr W. H.
  WALTER, 62 Jamaica-street, Glasgow. If after that date, address
  letters, &c., &c., W. H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Box 20, Post-office,
  Epsom, where due precaution has been taken for their safe delivery.

  Cheques to be crossed, Bank, Newbury. Letters containing gold or notes
  to be registered. Scotch and Irish notes taken as cash. Stamps, 20s.
  6d. to the pound. P.O. Orders in all cases to be made payable to W. H.
  WALTER, and drawn on the Post-office, Newbury, Berkshire.

  ⁂ The successes we achieve weekly, our social status on the Turf, the
  years we have been before the public, the fact of our being promoters
  of Discretionary Investments, our selecting Jack Spigot for City and
  Suburban, Vulcan for Lincoln Handicap, the Lamb for Grand National,
  Bothwell for Two Thousand, Mortemer (a place), Chester Cup, the Dwarf
  for Great Northern Handicap; Lord Hawthorn, Flying Dutchman’s
  Handicap; Stanley, Doncaster Handicap, with nearly every other winner
  at York and Doncaster, &c., prove the value of our information and the
  integrity and value of our system of backing Discretionary
  Investments.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE

  KINGSCLERE RACING CIRCULAR of Friday next (May 26), price 1s., will
  contain a Review of the Derby running, and the WINNER OF THE ASCOT
  STAKES, with some important notes anent ROYAL HUNT CUP and ST. LEGER,
  with selections and keys for all races at the Manchester, Scarborough,
  Winchester, West Drayton, and Wye Meetings. Notes on the Two Year Old
  Form of the Season, and a Bird’s-eye View of the Middle Park Plate,
  being particulars of Walter’s Visit to the Dark Two Year Olds at their
  Training Grounds. Terms:--Season, 21s.--Address orders and letters, W.
  H. WALTER (of Kingsclere), Ravenscourt Park, Hammersmith, London, W.

  In thanking our Derby subscribers for their past support, we
  respectfully solicit a continuance of their favours on the above
  terms.

  The Private Telegraphic Key Book will be issued to Season Subscribers
  only in the course of a few days. Those that intend renewing their
  subscriptions should do so at once.

It must not be imagined that this advertisement was intended to obtain
one large haul before the business was abandoned. With little alteration
it ran for a very considerable time in many papers, and the expenses of
advertising alone must have been enormous. For it is not to be expected
that any blind credulity exhibited itself in the various publishing
offices, and hard cash, and plenty of it, had to be expended before a
line of Balliee & Walter’s was allowed to appear. It will be seen by
what we have quoted that winnings and accounts of investments are
promised on Monday, and in true business-like style every depositor
received his envelope. With what feverish anxiety many must have torn
open the enclosure! So many men, so many minds, says the proverb, and
the ways of expressing wrath must have been various indeed. We are,
however, not in a position to furnish any particulars as to how the news
was received, it is enough to know what the information was. And, as may
be guessed, it was not satisfactory. The circulars were always neatly
constructed, and set forth with a regret that owing to a combination of
untoward circumstances the hopes of the chief investor, “the man at the
post,” had been dashed, and for that week--always the first week of such
an occurrence--matters had resulted disastrously. Then would follow a
statement of account, in which it was shown that investments had been
fortunate at the outset, that then they had changed, and that by placing
too much money on an apparent certainty, so as to recover the losings,
the whole bulk of the bank had departed, never to return. The sums
received by Messrs Balliee & Walter were of course various, and
according to the amount, so was the table arranged; but there was a
great family likeness about them all, the principle being to show that
the horses, when they did not win, were very close up, and so seconds,
with now and again a third, were nearly always chosen! Thus one £10
stake for the Derby week of 1871--the week in which the advertisement
given appears--was accounted for thus:--

  Epsom, Tuesday, May 23.                      Won.         Lost.

  Trial Stakes, Manille,                        --        £0 10  0
  Horton Stakes, Trident,                       --         1  0  0
  Maiden Plate, Queen Bee,                      --         2  0  0
  Rous Stakes, Banderolle,                      --         0 10  0
  Woodcote Stakes, Cremorne (11 to 8 on),    £0 14  6        --

  Wednesday.

  Bentinck Plate, Lady Atholstone,              --         0 10  0
  Derby, King of the Forest,                    --         1  0  0
  Stanley Stakes, Hamilton,                     --         2  0  0
  Match, Lizzie Cowl (5 to 4 on),             0  8  0        --
  Manor Stakes, Holdenby,                       --         0 10  0
  Town Plate, Banderolle,                       --         1  0  0

  Thursday.

  Glasgow Plate, Countryman (2 to 1 on),      0  5  0       --
  High Level Handicap, Free Trade,              --        0 10  0
  Two-year-old Stakes, Clotilde filly,          --        1  0  0
  Tadworth Stakes, Manna,                       --        2  0  0

                                             £1  7  6   £12 10  0

With five per cent. commission charged on the winnings, this left a
balance £1, 3s. 9½d. due to Messrs Balliee & Walter, which it was hoped
would be at once remitted. This was cruel, but crueller still was the
statement, that had the stake been larger, affairs would have arranged
themselves satisfactorily, as a great change took place at the close of
Thursday and on Friday, and those whose banks lasted over the first run
of ill-luck left off winners of large sums. With the demand for payment
of balance came a request which, from its very coolness, must have
staggered those who, being once victimised, could see through the
swindle, though in very many instances--as if in corroboration of Mr
Carlyle’s theory--it was complied with. This was a desire for a fresh
trial, and positive security from loss was guaranteed. It is noticeable
in the table given that by a judicious selection of races and horses the
winnings were bound to be always low, as animals with odds on are
selected, and that when stakes are lowest. When on the doubling
principle the stake on the chosen winner would be inconveniently large a
race was omitted. The returns made were necessarily various, but that
given is an accurate representative of the system.

Balliee & Walter continued to flourish for a long time; but whether it
was that they became individually greedy, whether newspaper proprietors
became exorbitant in their demands on the spoil, or whether rivalry
affected them, we know not, all we do know is that they committed a most
openly outrageous act on a race-course, and the bubble at once burst. It
may seem strange that anything discretionary-investment agents, who had
been gradually becoming a byword and a reproach, could do would affect
their position; but our duty is to record the fact, and not to allow it
to be disputed on any theoretic grounds. If they had calmly continued to
merely swindle, they might have advertised till now; but they outraged
the sanctity of the British race-course, and were damned for all time,
if not to all eternity. They had become possessed by some means or other
of a hurdle-racer called Goodfellow, and two or three weeks before one
of the suburban gate-money meetings they made a match for him to run a
race at it against a very moderate mare. Immediately this was done they
circularised all customers, telling them to be sure and back Goodfellow,
as he could not possibly lose, and stating that on account of very heavy
investments already made, they could afford, as a favour to their
clients, to return them double the odds which would be laid against
Goodfellow on the day. In the _Kingsclere Racing Circular_, a weekly
pamphlet issued by these honourable gentlemen, we find under date March
10, 1871, the following ingenious application. This, it has been since
proved, brought heavy sums to the Ravenscourt Park exchequer, whence it
was not allowed to depart, Messrs Balliee & Walter, like true and
legitimate bookmakers, preferring to lay the 6 to 4’s against their own
horse themselves, rather than that their patrons should be
inconvenienced by having to take shorter prices from others:--

  CROYDON SPECIAL INVESTMENT.

  The match--Goodfellow v. Harriett--will come off at Croydon on Tuesday
  next. It is simply a matter of putting the coin down and picking it up
  again. It is any odds on our horse, and as we wish our Subscribers to
  participate in this certainty, we will undertake to obtain for them 6
  to 4 for all cash sent, which must reach Mr Walter, Ravenscourt Park,
  if possible by Monday evening, and not later than Tuesday’s first
  post. Gibson is sure to back Harriett for a 1000, and probably bring
  her favourite. The sole reason of us wishing Subscribers to allow us
  to invest for them, is to prevent them rushing on and spoiling the
  market, which will be to their interest as well as our own. We have
  engaged one of the cleverest cross country riders of the day to ride
  Goodfellow, and our horse never was so fit and well as at the present
  time. Daniels will have the mount of Harriett. Such a chance may not
  occur again throughout the season. Investors should speculate a £50 or
  £100 Bank. We cannot undertake to invest more than £300 for any one of
  our patrons.

By this means Balliee & Walter obtained from their purblind dupes a
large amount of money with which to back Goodfellow, and of this they of
course placed as much as they could upon Harriett, the opposing
candidate. In the race, if race so iniquitous a transaction can be
called, the discretionary-investment horse was, as might have been
expected, “pulled,” so that Balliee & Walter had all the money they
received to the good, besides what they won from the unsuspecting by
backing the animal they had pretended to oppose. This led to their
gradually disappearing from the front pages of the newspapers, though
they continued their business under an _alias_ very successfully. Walter
was eventually fined a hundred pounds at one of the metropolitan courts,
under the Betting-House Act, 1853, for having carried on a part of his
business at Hammersmith. It seems rather ludicrous that a man should
have been fined for what he in reality never did. But lawyers and
magistrates could not distinguish the difference between betting and
only pretending to bet, so they fined Mr Walter just as they would have
done if he had been a really honourable man, and had therefore deserved
punishment.

From the discretionary-investment class of turf-swindler we will now
pass on to another, quite as ingenious and very often as dangerous. A
few years back, when opportunity served--that is, when the honest layer
of odds was harassed by the police and driven from London, and when good
men and bad were almost irremediably mixed up--a sharp rogue hit upon an
idea for making the tipstering and private-advice business a means to
quite a new phase of imposition. This was known among those who profited
by it as “forcing the voucher,” and a very pretty little game it was
while it lasted, though the profits of pioneers were of course
considerably diminished as soon as ever the secret got wind, by the
imitative faculty to which reference has been already made. Commencing,
as usual, with small advertisements and large profits, forcers in time
found themselves, by stress of competition, obliged to spend a good
share of their hard earnings in specially-tempting invitations to those
who would go any but the right way towards being wealthy; or else to
seek other courses. So in 1872 we find three or four firms occupying a
large share of the papers, and giving forth promises without stint.
Whether the original forcer was in any of these partnerships it is
impossible to tell, as the names were, as a rule, fictitious, and often
changed; but whether or not, it is certain that those who advertised
heaviest drove all small thieves from the field, and so, two years back,
the business, as far as we are concerned, was carried on chiefly by
Adkins & Wood, Robert Danby & Co., Marshall & Grant, and James Rawlings
& Co., who advertised quite separately, but whose notifications might
very easily have been the work of one pen. We will therefore take
Rawlings & Co. to represent the fraternity, and in their advertisement
which appeared at the end of April 1872 will be found the peculiarities
of all the others. This is it:--

  DIGBY GRAND sent to every season subscriber, and for a place at
  6 to 1, to every reader of
  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR.

  Proprietors,
  JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
  65, YORK PLACE,
  EDINBURGH.

  Published by the Proprietors every Saturday, at their chief office, 65
  York Place, Edinburgh.

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR still maintains its well-merited
  reputation as the only infallible and unerringly-successful winning
  guide, by the aid of which private backers can and do, week by week,
  realise hundreds of pounds with perfect safety over the principal
  races throughout the kingdom. The uninterrupted series of successes
  which have attended its vaticinations during past seasons have been
  gloriously crowned by the success of every special investment advised
  in its pages this season, as will be seen by the following list of
  winners already given:--

                                                        Price at which
                                                         clients were
        Race.                  Selection.      Result.     put on.

  Croydon                    Footman             Won       15 to 1
  Lincoln Handicap           Guy Dayrell         Won       20 to 1
  Grand National             Casse Tête          Won       25 to 1
  Nottingham Handicap        Flurry              Won       10 to 1
  Great Warwick Handicap     Cedric the Saxon    Won       12 to 1
  Warwick Grand Annual       Snowstorm           Won        7 to 1
  Northamptonshire Stakes    Messager            Won        8 to 1
  City and Suburban          Digby Grand         Won       25 to 1

  Thus a £10 stake on each of our selections already made this season
  has now won the handsome sum £1,164 after deducting our commission of
  5 per cent.

  If one statement of the above glorious triumph is untrue, we boldly
  invite our subscribers and clients to expose us in the fullest manner
  in the sporting papers. Promptitude, despatch, exactitude, and
  liberality, as in the past, will ever be our watchwords in the future.

  Every reader of “The Sporting Life” is earnestly invited to send at
  once for this week’s number, as the information therein contained will
  enable everyone to win a little fortune over that splendid and highly
  lucrative mode of investment--

  A DOUBLE EVENT
  That cannot be upset.
  The positive Winners of
  THE TWO THOUSAND
  and
  ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS.

  It is rarely that we advise this method of investing, but when we have
  sent out to our clients a double event it has never failed to come
  off. Last year we advised a double event for these races--

  Two Thousand      Bothwell      Won
  One Thousand      Hannah        Won

  And this year both our selections are, if possible, greater and more
  undeniable certainties.

  THE TWO THOUSAND GUINEAS.

  Of all the good things that in the course of a long and varied
  experience on the Turf it has ever been our good fortune to be
  possessed of, we cannot recall a single occasion on which every
  attendant circumstance combined so surely to render, as in the present
  instance, the race such an absolute foregone conclusion for our
  selection. The trial which took place this week was unprecedented in
  its severity, and, to the surprise of owner and trainer, the animal
  performed so far beyond their most sanguine expectations or hopes as
  to show them that success is reduced to the greatest moral certainty
  ever known in the history of the English Turf. This is an opportunity
  similar to those that have made the fortunes of many of our most
  wealthy speculators, for whom, as in the present instance, victory is
  a foregone conclusion and defeat a moral impossibility. Everyone
  should seize the opportunity of reaping the rich harvest of golden
  fruit that awaits the bold speculator of foregone conclusions like
  this.

  THE ONE THOUSAND GUINEAS.

  It is to us an easy task to select the winner of this race, as the
  immense superiority she enjoys over every other animal engaged (known
  only to owner, trainer, and ourselves) is so vast that this race will
  be little more than an exercise canter for this speedy filly. So
  quietly has this good thing been nursed by the shrewd division to
  which the mare belongs, that a real good price is now to be had,
  though when this superb specimen of an English thoroughbred is seen at
  the post, we are confident that even money will be eagerly snapped up
  by those who till then neglect to back her.

  THE DOUBLE EVENT,

  as stated above, is as sure to come off as these lines are in print.
  Send then at once for this week’s number, and do not delay an hour if
  you wish to land a fortune over these two genuine certainties.

  We could wish no better opportunity to display the genuine good things
  sent out by the “Premier Racing Circular” than these two races
  present, and we beg that everyone will at once send six stamps and
  stamped addressed envelope for this week’s number, and stand these
  morals to win them a fortune.

  Address--

  JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
  65, YORK PLACE,
  EDINBURGH.

If we were not certain that these men got large sums of money from
willing victims, it would seem almost impossible that people could be
found credulous enough to believe that absolute certainty could be
secured on the turf. Certainty of losing is naturally much easier than
certainty of winning, and yet even loss cannot be reduced to less than
imminent probability so long as a horse goes to the post unphysicked,
and the jockey is not allowed to openly pull him. And so, though no one
will attempt to defend Messrs Rawlings & Co., their dupes deserve but
the smallest amount of pity; for even the most foolish of them must have
known that certainty of winning to them must have meant certainty of
losing to the other side, and that therefore, even if the contract had
been carried out, somebody must have been swindled. If it were not for
the greed and avarice which mainly direct the actions of those who are
generally known as fools, magsmen, sharpers, discretionary-investment
commissioners, and voucher-forcers would have to take to honest
employment. This may seem a truism, yet when a skittle-sharper or
“street-mugger” is tried in a police court, and convicted for having
victimised a “flat,” it never seems to strike the magistrate or the
general public that the prisoner simply swindled a man who had all the
will but not the ability to swindle him. And there can be no reasonable
doubt--we should much like to see the matter tried--that the principal
supports of rogues are the most grasping, selfish, and hard-hearted of
mortals, and not at all the soft, good-natured bumpkins that they are
generally depicted. We should not like to trust to either the honour or
the honesty of any man who had been concerned even as a victim in one of
the transactions which now and again appear in the police reports; and
if we had any sympathy, which is not very likely, to bestow on either
side, it would certainly be given to the man who gets sent to prison.

Rawlings & Co. seem to have managed the spring campaign of 1872 very
successfully, for while other members of the same brotherhood had to
drop out of the papers or to appear in new guise after April, we find
our heroes still merrily addressing the public from the front page of
the sporting papers of June 8, and as able to guarantee freedom from
loss as ever. And though it may not seem long from the end to April to
this early part of June, it must be recollected that within that space
several very important meetings are held, and that dismal gaps are
found in the ranks of both “wrong” and “right” men after a Derby,
especially after such a Derby as Cremorne’s, which found out the weak
spots in a good many big books, and altered the prospects of many a
turfite, professional and amateur. So finding Rawlings so well through,
we were tempted at the time to communicate with him, and discover the
principle upon which he “forced the voucher.” Here is his advertisement
of June 8, in which he glories in past triumphs and feels confident of
future successes:--

  CREMORNE, QUEEN’S MESSENGER, AND REINE.

  JAMES RAWLINGS and Co., the oldest established Turf advisers in Great
  Britain; proprietors of

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR,

  the most successful winning guide extant.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR, selected Cremorne
  and Reine.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR of this day contains
  three certainties.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR’S selections pulled off the double event
  for the Derby and Oaks, likewise Queen’s Messenger for a place at 4 to
  1.

       *       *       *       *       *

  THE PREMIER RACING CIRCULAR has this season selected each and every
  important winner, as may be seen by referring to back numbers of this
  publication, invaluable alike to large and small speculators. The
  proprietors beg respectfully to draw the attention of that section of
  the public who have neglected to take advantage of the opportunities
  that they have, for the past three months, weekly drawn attention to
  in the columns of this and other journals, that this week’s number of
  the Premier Racing Circular will contain three of the greatest morals
  and most undeniable certainties ever known in this or any other era of
  the Turf’s history, namely, the winner of

  THE ASCOT STAKES,

  a real good thing, at a real good price. Over this race any gentleman
  may safely invest as heavily as he may think fit, as we know that our
  selection cannot be beaten; the course is peculiarly adapted to the
  animal’s action, and the stable have satisfied themselves, past
  question or doubt, that he possesses both speed and stamina to land
  this event with the utmost ease.

  THE ROYAL HUNT CUP

  is equally a certainty for a veritable flyer, whose merits have
  hitherto been so cleverly concealed by the owner, that the handicapper
  has no idea of his sterling excellence. He is undergoing a special
  preparation for this race, the best light-weight in the world will be
  in the saddle, and a long price is now to be had.

  THE NORTHUMBERLAND PLATE.

  We have never yet missed selecting the winner of this race, and as the
  cleverest division on the Turf, as to whose movements we are always au
  fait, have specially laid themselves out to secure this prize, the
  public may rely upon it that, as in past years, we shall again select
  the winner.

  This week’s number contains full particulars of these undeniable and
  gold-producing morals, in addition to a mass of other information
  invaluable to backers. No one should invest a shilling on any one of
  the above races without first forwarding us six stamps and stamped
  directed envelope for this week’s issue.

  Address--

  JAMES RAWLINGS and Co.,
  65, YORK PLACE,
  EDINBURGH.

Six stamps and a stamped directed envelope were accordingly sent, and in
return we received a copy of the _Premier Racing Circular_, dated June
6, which was full of congratulations, and which promised far more than
even the advertisements did. One paragraph in it was specially worthy of
attention. It ran thus: “_We have several commissions still unsettled
over the Derby and Oaks. Gentlemen holding winning vouchers will please
send them in at once._” What could be more fair, honourable, and
straightforward than this; and who would think of suspecting Rawlings of
unfair dealing? Yet, at the very time the invitation we have quoted
appeared, the people who sent in their winning vouchers received in
return, not money, but the following circular, which we reprint exactly,
and which, with the alteration of the signature and the name of the
meeting, will do for any firm and any week’s racing the reader may
choose. This is one of a lot we have collected at times from many
victims:--

  65 YORK PLACE, EDINBURGH.

  SIR,

  We regret to inform you that, in consequence of some of our important
  Accounts not having been settled at Epsom this week, we must
  unavoidably postpone the settlement. This is the first time that such
  an unpleasantness has occurred, but we can assure you that we have
  done all in our power in the matter. No one regrets this unfortunate
  affair more than ourselves, after serving the public so faithfully for
  such a number of years, and all we can do is to remit you immediately
  we receive winnings from the temporarily embarrassed Commissioners.

  Meanwhile, We remain,

  Yours faithfully,

  JAMES RAWLINGS & CO.

There is no boast in the statement, that when we received the _Premier
Racing Circular_, we were pretty well acquainted with the manner in
which Rawlings conducted his business--it would be a poor thing to boast
about--and so we turned to the envelope to look for the vouchers we knew
would be there. And there they were, enclosed in a piece of paper, on
which was the information, that owing to the large sums they had
invested when the horses were at long shots, they could afford to return
odds considerably over the current market; and winding up with a request
that intending backers would at once forward the amounts for which the
vouchers were filled in, or any part of it which would suit them. Yes,
there they were, three in number, looking like cheques--the first, No.
32,323, being for the Ascot Stakes, and bearing the bet of £200 to £10
against Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes. The second was numbered 36,162,
and said £300 to £10 Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup; and the third was
39,346, and was to the tune of £400 to £20 Minerve for the
Northumberland Plate. And this is the advice with regard to them, given
in the _Circular_, without the alteration of even a letter:--

  _THE PITCHFORK, PALMERSTON, AND MINERVE
  COMMISSION_

  We have been able to work the Commission (Pitchfork, Palmerston, and
  Minerve), at an unusual liberal price, and we herewith offer for your
  acceptance, as per enclosed vouchers, the very advantageous bets about
  these absolute morals. Should you accept the whole (which we strongly
  recommend), you will please forward stake money by return and retain
  vouchers; if only a portion, return same, with stake money, and a
  corrected voucher to amount of stake will be at once forwarded to you.
  In the remote contingency of your not accepting any portion of either
  bet, you will please return vouchers without a moment’s delay, that we
  may have an opportunity of offering the bets to other clients.

  Those who wish to back Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve for a place,
  can be on at one-fourth the odds, but to no greater amount than a £50
  stake.

The secret of forcing the voucher, therefore, lay in the fact of
offering far longer prices than could be obtained of any one who
intended to pay when the races were over; for on June 6th, 1872, the day
on which the vouchers were drawn, the market prices, as quoted in the
papers Mr Rawlings advertised in, were 10 to 1 against Palmerston for
the Ascot Stakes; 15 to 1 against Pitchfork for the Royal Hunt Cup; and
10 to 1 against Minerve for the Northumberland Plate. Now as double the
fair price is offered, and as the quoted market represents the odds
which are laid at the chief clubs by the chief men, who can say that the
victims of Rawlings deserve pity? The ability of Rawlings & Co. as
tipsters is strangely shown in this transaction. In their circular,
Pitchfork, Palmerston, and Minerve are their selections for the several
races, even to people who only accepted their advice and did not intrust
them with commissions. They assert that they have positive information
that these horses cannot lose. Under the head of “Royal Hunt Cup,” and
perfectly independent of anything but the private-advice department,
they say, in reference to Pitchfork: “This is a ‘Woodyeates moral,’ and
all must be on. Every now and then this influential coterie throws in
for a fortune, and when they do, the good thing invariably comes off.
We have never missed the winner of this race, and now, with all
confidence, we assure every client that no better opportunity could
possibly occur of landing a rich and substantial stake. Some of our
clients will neglect the opportunities we frequently lay before them;
but on this occasion as the price is so liberal, we do heartily hope
that one and all will go in for a rattling good stake.” Then about
Palmerston for the Ascot Stakes, they tell us that “previous to the
great Epsom event, Palmerston performed such a wonderful feat with the
Brother to Flurry as to show the stable that the Ascot Stakes were
completely at their mercy. Mr Payne and the owners who train at Fyfield
look upon defeat as impossible, and will stand their horses to win a
very large stake. We cannot recollect a more genuine investment, and
must urge all to stand this moral freely.” For the Northumberland Plate
they are, if anything, still more confident, their article on it
containing this: “Another triumph awaits the French contingent in the
Northumberland Plate, as Minerve, own sister to Miss Hervine, is certain
to carry off this event.” Rawlings’s prophecies might have turned out
right if they had had a chance, but he does not seem to have possessed
even a hint as to what would be started for the various stables, for not
one of the three selected ever saw the course on which victory was to be
so easily obtained. What sorry rogues make fortunes nowadays! It is more
than likely that Rawlings, or whatever this trickster’s name was, like
his own selections on this particular occasion, had never seen a
race-course. Strange as this may seem, it is not at all improbable; for
there are lots of men who live by the turf, and who are as conversant
with pedigrees and performances of horses as can be, yet who know
nothing beyond what they see on paper, and who, authorities on racing
when in Fleet Street, would be quite nonplussed if taken to Newmarket
among the horses whose names they know so well.

We trust we have now made plain the two greatest swindles in connection
with the turf, and at the same time shown the unworthiness of even the
pretence to knowledge made by them. But we have no wish that readers,
forgetting the scamps with whom we set out, shall conclude this chapter
with the impression that there are no thieves so bad as sporting
thieves, and so we will fall back on some swindling advertisements of
the general kind, from the general papers, which are not only as
roguish, but as ignorant of the subjects selected as the effusions of
Rawlings himself. Here is one from the _Weekly Times_ of a couple of
years or so back:--

  WONDERS OF THE HOROSCOPE.--Any person sending an addressed envelope,
  age, height, colour of hair and eyes, together with 13 stamps, will
  receive within 24 hours a correct likeness of their future husband or
  wife, and date of marriage.--Address, A. WEMYSS, 2, Drake-street, Red
  Lion-square, London.

We don’t mind giving Mr Wemyss--what an aristocratic name, by the
way!--a gratuitous advertisement, though we hope that the first customer
he gets through our instrumentality will be the reverse of profitable.
Wemyss can do better still at a better price, as other advertisements
show. He is a milder form of rascal than Methralton, who makes offer as
follows in several of the weekly papers, and who is not content with his
effect on the mind, but actually wishes to interfere with the matter:--

  WONDROUS ARTS.--Your future revealed--Seven years, six stamps;
  lifetime twelve stamps. State age. Love Charm, sixteen stamps.
  Medicine for removing Gravel and Private diseases in a few days,
  without injuring the constitution, sixty stamps. Methralton’s Bible
  Key, twenty-six stamps. Book of Spirits, 408 pages, thirty-two stamps.
  Millennial Prophecies, Gratis. METHRALTON, the Seer, Daventry.

Another kind of scoundrel, whose victims are like those of the
home-employment robbers, mostly poor helpless girls, and whose villany
is far greater than that of the discreet Walter or the forcible
Rawlings, is the fellow who advertises constantly for actors and
actresses, who may be perfectly inexperienced, but who are to get
salaried engagements through his influence. His form varies, but this is
one of his concoctions, and is from the _Daily Telegraph_:--

  THE STAGE.--WANTED, TWELVE LADIES and GENTLEMEN (ages 16 to 40) for
  salaried engagements. Totally inexperienced persons may
  apply.--Communicate, by letter only, enclosing photograph and thirteen
  stamps, Histrionicus ----.

This is either a swindle on the girls, or else on the members of the
British public who pay their money to see acting. It is rumoured that
now and again women moving in a certain hemisphere give large sums for
the purpose of appearing on the stage. This may be, but we fancy the
managers are quite shrewd enough not to let outsiders like the
advertiser, Histrionicus, interfere in such delicate matters. It might
be as well to ask why the “promotion in absentiâ” dodges are still
allowed to parade themselves in the leading papers, or in fact why
people should be permitted to take upon themselves titles they have no
right to. Possibly the matter is thought too ridiculous to call for
interference, but there are other qualities besides those of ridicule
and contempt to be found in connection with the following, which is an
advertisement having no particularly distinctive features, and therefore
will represent the thousands of the same order that appear during the
year, and for payment of which a considerable number of spurious degrees
must be manufactured:--

  PROMOTION IN ABSENTIÂ.--Qualified surgeons, chemists, dentists,
  oculists, chiropodists, and professors of music or arts aspiring to a
  doctor’s degree, may communicate by letter to Professor ----.

Qualified, forsooth! why, any one who liked to pay could obtain the most
honourable degree for the biggest idiot in Earlswood Asylum. One of the
chief difficulties to be encountered over such a bad business as this is
that the good and the sham degree holders very often get irretrievably
mixed up in certain phases of society. Physicians, surgeons, and
gentlemen in similar position are protected, and so little dealing is
done in medical, surgical, or chemical degrees; but bachelors and
masters of arts and doctors of laws are made by the score, the
recipients of honours being in a majority of cases men whose ignorance
must be probed before it is appreciated, but whose depth requires no
delving whatever. Now, when a man of this kind elects to call himself
doctor, or puts B.A. or M.A. after his name, even those who know what
little right he has to the degree are hardly quixotic enough to decline
giving him the title he covets; so in a year or so, Dr Brown or Dr Jones
has as firm a hold upon his title as if he had obtained it by a personal
examination under the most rigorous system; and strangers who are unable
to discover for themselves the unworthiness of the pretender, give him
all the honours which belong to the learned. Sometimes the applicant
swindles the professor, and we not long back heard of an aspiring youth
who paid for the degrees of M.A. and LL.D. with a cheque and a bill,
each being for £20, and both being dishonoured. It is a pity that these
two scamps cannot be treated to three months in the House of Correction,
just to encourage all other professors and practisers of small and
paltry swindles.

There is yet another kind of rogue for whom we have room, who addresses
his victims by means of advertisements. This is the sorrowful Christian,
who makes the profession of religion his stock-in-trade, and finds it
profitable. Under the guise of sanctity there is hardly anything at
which he will stick--he is the foulest and nastiest of all the foul and
nasty birds who have supplied material for this chapter. He is as great
an impostor in his pretences as any of the other swindlers are in
theirs, and so it would be just as fair to blame religion for the
existence of the sanctimonious scoundrel, or commerce for the
home-employment agent, as it is to blame racing for the welcher and the
forcer. Here is a sample of the whining and despicable hound, compared
with whom, to our taste, the ordinary pickpocket is a gentleman:--

  TO THE LORD’S PEOPLE.--A dear Christian tradesman, who about four
  months ago drew from the Savings’ Bank £60, his all therein, to give
  to a fellow Christian who urgently required that sum, “thus lending
  and hoping for nothing again” but from a bountiful “God whose name is
  Love,” is now in WANT OF FORTY POUNDS to pay all demands upon him, ere
  he accepts a call to the ministry of the Everlasting Gospel, which he
  believes his Heavenly Father is about to make known unto him. A lady,
  his friend in Christ the Lord as revealed, in the power of God the
  Holy Ghost, thus ventures in simple faith to try the door of
  Providence in his behalf; and would leave the issue in the hands of
  Him who has heart, hand, breath and purse of men at sovereign command.
  The smallest help will be gratefully acknowledged by the Advertiser.
  Address to ----.

If this is not blasphemy, what is it? Imagine the greasy smirk of
satisfaction with which the coin of the faithful was received and
divided between the dear Christian tradesman and his lady friend. There
is something suspiciously jocular about the wind-up of the application;
but then, as an old proverb informs us, people who are doing well can
afford the luxury of laughter. Another plan of the religious rascal is
to answer applications for loans, and under the guise of philanthropy
and Christianity to offer the required accommodation. By this means, and
by the exhibition of certain forms, he obtains a deposit from the
unfortunate would-be borrower, and decamps. This is, however, but a
means of relaxation, and is simply indulged in at intervals, just to
keep the hand in while more important business is in course of
projection. The loan-office advertisements may to a certain extent be
regarded as swindles, especially when they promise money without
security. Depend upon it, no professional money-lender is likely to let
out his cash without security any more than without interest. Still
loan-office advertisers are not swindlers absolutely, as they do lend
money and to some extent perform their contracts. The papers at the
present time swarm with their advertisements, and the curious reader may
inspect them as they appear, as for obvious reasons we must decline
making a selection, which might be the reverse of judicious, more
especially as the notices do not come strictly within our limits. Now
and again temporary offices are started, generally in poor
neighbourhoods, for the purpose of bagging the inquiry fees, and with no
intention whatever of lending money. Their general ultimatum is,
“Security offered insufficient;” and a good story is told of a gentleman
who from motives of curiosity applied for a loan of £5, and gave as
guarantors two of the most notoriously wealthy bankers of the City. In
due course he received the usual notification, that the security offered
was not sufficiently “responsible,” and that the accommodation could not
therefore be afforded.

This brings us to the end of our list of swindlers and thieves; and if
we have succeeded in our endeavour to show that the advertising rogue
belongs to no particular class or profession, and that it is idle to
assume that any rank or class is answerable for him, we shall be well
satisfied. To our mind, and we have studied the subject rather closely,
the advertising swindler is a swindler _per se_, and attaches himself to
anything which offers a return, without caring what its title so long as
it has claims to attention. It would be a great pity, therefore, to
assume that these men have anything to do with the respectable forms of
the professions--from sporting to religion--they from time to time
adopt, and a great blunder to blame any body of respectable men because
a lot of rogues choose to assume their business. As long as there are
advertising swindlers, some profession or other must have the discredit
of them.

There are, however, still advertisement swindles of a totally different
description from any that have been here mentioned or referred to. There
is the swindle of the newspaper proprietor who guarantees a circulation
which has no existence, and who, when he takes the money of those who
insert notices in his journal, knows that he is committing a deliberate
and barefaced robbery. There are in London, at the present time, papers
that have absolutely no circulation, in the proper sense of the word,
whatever; and of which only a sufficient number of copies is printed to
supply those who advertise in them, according to the custom observed in
many offices. The readers, therefore, pay a rather heavy premium for the
privilege of perusing each other’s announcements. It may seem that this
state of affairs cannot possibly continue long; but whatever theorists
may make of it, we can speak with confidence of more than six papers
which to our knowledge have possessed no buyers whatever for more than
six years, yet their proprietors get good livings out of them--better,
perhaps, than they would if sale and not swindle was the reason of their
being--and calculate on continuing this state of things for their time
at all events. After them the deluge may come as soon as it likes. We
remember quite well an office in which six of these newspapers were
printed--that is, supposed to be printed, for with the exception of an
alteration of title and a rearrangement of columns, and with, very
rarely, the substitution of a new leading article for an old one, these
six newspapers were all one and the same to the printers. Now, of
course, had there been any chance of one man buying two copies of this
instrument of robbery under any two of its distinct names, the swindle
would have run some risk of being exposed; but so far as we could
discover, there was no desire ever shown to buy even one, the
circulation being exclusively among the advertisers. A very small
circulation which finds its way in any particular direction may often be
far more useful to one who wishes his notice to travel that way than
would the largest circulation in the world; but the intensest of
optimists could hardly discern any likelihood of benefit in the system
just noticed.

Still another kind of advertisement swindle--still more distinct from
the general run of swindles--is that by which certain ambitious persons
try to obtain a spurious notoriety. Their desire is in no way connected
with trade, though as it has in its effect the passing off of inferior
wares upon the public as though they were of first-class quality, the
word swindle very properly applies to their little trickery. These men
pine for recognition in the public prints, and so long as their names
are mentioned, no matter how, they regard the task of achieving a cheap
immortality as progressing towards completion. Literature and the
various phases of art suffer most from these impostors, who very often
not only attain notoriety by means of the specious puffery they
exercise, but by it obtain money as well. No one can be blind to the
manner in which some very small literary lights manage to keep their
names continually paraded before the public; and the puffs are so worded
that the unthinking are bound to believe that these rushlight writers
are the souls of the literature and journalism of the present day. Said
the publisher of a magazine, who is not renowned for either taste or
education, when it was proposed that a really eminent man should write
him an article, “No; I dessay he’s very good, but I want men with names.
I can get Montague Smith and Chumley Jones and Montmorency Thomson, all
famous, and all glad to write for two pound a sheet--why, I never heard
of your man, and yet he wants ten times as much. I never see his name in
the papers.” This was the publisher who is said to have refused to pay
for the refrain of a set of verses except where it first occurred, and
demanded that the rest should be measured off and deducted from the
price originally agreed upon. So not only in the case of the publisher,
but in that of the public do these small potatoes, who have a knack of
glossing over their mean surnames with high-sounding prefixes, render
themselves representatives of an institution the real leaders in which
are often quite unknown out of their own circles. For every thousand
familiar with the name of Shakespeare Green, the writer of “awfuls,”
there is not one who can tell you who are the editors of the leading
daily papers and principal reviews. The anonymity of journalism has its
advantages, and very likely the directors of public opinion are content
to remain behind its curtain; but it is through this same anonymous
arrangement that the smallest of small fry measured on their merits are
enabled to parade themselves as they do. There are, we know, many
deservedly well and widely known writers for newspapers and serials who
are really what they profess to be, and who depend upon nothing so much
as merit, for success; but even they must admit the truth of what we
have said, and must often feel very like the apples did as they went
down stream in the fable.

It might be as well here to say a few words about the advertisement
swindles that are perpetrated by means of photographs. It has long been
a crying evil that at certain theatres shameless women who wear many
diamonds and few clothes are allowed to appear upon the stage and play
at acting. Much training enables them now and again to deliver
half-a-dozen lines without displaying their ignorance and peculiarity of
aspiration too glaringly; but they cannot be depended on to do even this
much with certainty. Sometimes they sing in the smallest of small
voices, and a few of them have mastered the breakdown and the _can-can_;
but their chief attraction consists, to the audience, in their lavish
display of limbs and “neck,” and, to the manager, in their requiring but
nominal salaries. One would have thought it sufficient that such
creatures should exhibit themselves to the people who choose to go and
see them; but it is not so, they get themselves photographed in the most
extraordinary attitudes, and their counterfeit presentments leer out
from the shop windows upon passers-by in much the same manner as in the
flesh--sometimes in very much of it--they leer at their friends in the
stalls and boxes. Now and again we see the portrait of one real and
justly-celebrated actress surrounded by these demireps, but of late what
are known as actresses’ portraits consist mainly of those to whom the
title is convenient, or of those who combine a little of the actress
with a great deal of the courtesan. Those artists whose portraits should
grace the photographers’ show-cases hardly care to run the risk of being
mixed up in the questionable society they see there; and we can vouch
for the fact that in a leading thoroughfare, of twenty-five English
portraits exhibited in a window as those of actresses, at which we were
looking but recently, there were not five that were really what they
pretended to be.

Of hoaxes which come within our scope a very noticeable one took place
in August 1815. A short time previous to the departure of the French
Emperor from our coast on his last journey, to St Helena, a
respectably-dressed man caused a quantity of handbills to be distributed
through Chester, in which he informed the public that a great number of
genteel families had embarked at Plymouth, and would certainly proceed
with the British regiment appointed to accompany the ex-Emperor to St
Helena: he added further, that the island being dreadfully infested with
rats, his Majesty’s ministers had determined that it should be forthwith
effectually cleared of those noxious animals. To facilitate this
important purpose, he had been deputed to purchase as many cats and
thriving kittens as could possibly be procured for money, in a short
space of time; and therefore he publicly offered in his handbills
“sixteen shillings for every _athletic full-grown tom-cat_, ten
shillings for every _adult female puss_, and half-a-crown for every
thriving _vigorous kitten_ that could _swill_ milk, pursue a ball of
thread, or fasten its young fangs in a dying mouse.” On the evening of
the third day after this advertisement had been distributed, the people
of Chester were astonished by an irruption of a multitude of old women,
boys, and girls into their streets, each of whom carried on his or her
shoulders either a bag or a basket, which appeared to contain some
restless animal. Every road, every lane, was thronged with this comical
procession; and before night a congregation of nearly three thousand
cats was collected in Chester. The happy bearers of these sweet-voiced
creatures proceeded (as directed by the advertisement) towards one
street with their delectable burdens. Here they became closely wedged
together. A vocal concert soon ensued. The women screamed; the cats
squalled; the boys and girls shrieked aloud, and the dogs of the street
howled to match, so that it soon became difficult for the nicest ear to
ascertain whether the canine, the feline, or the human tones were
predominant. Some of the cat-bearing ladies, whose dispositions were not
of the most placid nature, finding themselves annoyed by their
neighbours, soon cast down their burdens and began to box. A battle
royal ensued. The cats sounded the war-whoop with might and main.
Meanwhile the boys of the town, who seemed mightily to relish the sport,
were actively employed in opening the mouths of the deserted sacks, and
liberating the cats from their forlorn situations. The enraged animals
bounded immediately on the shoulders and heads of the combatants, and
ran spitting, squalling, and clawing along the undulating sea of skulls,
towards the walls of the houses of the good people of Chester. The
citizens, attracted by the noise, had opened the windows to gaze at the
fun. The cats, rushing with the rapidity of lightning up the pillars,
and then across the balustrades and galleries, for which the town is so
famous, leaped slap-dash through the open windows into the apartments.
Never, since the days of the celebrated Hugh Lupus, were the
drawing-rooms of Chester filled with such a crowd of unwelcome guests.
Now were heard the crashes of broken china; the howling of affrighted
dogs; the cries of distressed damsels, and the groans of well-fed
citizens. All Chester was soon in arms; and dire were the deeds of
vengeance executed on the feline race. Next morning above five hundred
dead bodies were seen floating on the river Dee, where they had been
ignominiously thrown by the two-legged victors. The rest of the invading
host having evacuated the town, dispersed in the utmost confusion to
their respective homes.

In 1826 the following handbill was circulated in Norwich and its
neighbourhood for some days previous to the date mentioned in it, and
caused great excitement:--

  _St James’s Hill, back of the Horse Barracks._

  The Public are respectfully informed that Signor CARLO GRAM VILLECROP,
  the celebrated Swiss Mountain Flyer, from Geneva and Mont Blanc, is
  just arrived in this City, and will exhibit with a Tyrolese Pole,
  fifty feet long, his most astonishing Gymnastic Flights, never before
  witnessed in this country. Signor Villecrop has had the great honour
  of exhibiting his most extraordinary Feats on the Continent before the
  King of Prussia, Emperor of Austria, the Grand Duke of Tuscany, and
  all the resident Nobility in Switzerland. He begs to inform the Ladies
  and Gentlemen of this City that he has selected St James’s Hill and
  the adjoining hills for his performances, and will first display his
  remarkable strength in running up the hill with his Tyrolese Pole
  between his teeth. He will next lay on his back, and balance the same
  Pole on his nose, chin, and different parts of his body. He will climb
  upon it with the astonishing swiftness of a cat, and stand on his head
  at the top; on a sudden he will leap three feet from the Pole without
  falling, suspending himself by a shenese cord only. He will also walk
  on his head up and down the hill, balancing the Pole on one foot. Many
  other feats will be exhibited, in which Signor Villecrop will display
  to the audience the much-admired art of toppling, peculiar only to the
  Peasantry of Switzerland. He will conclude his performance by repeated
  flights in the air, up and down the hill, with a velocity almost
  imperceptible, assisted only by his Pole, with which he will
  frequently jump the astonishing distance of Forty and Fifty Yards at a
  time. Signor Villecrop begs to assure the ladies and gentlemen who
  honour him with their company that no money will be collected till
  after the exhibition, feeling convinced that his exertions will be
  liberally rewarded by their generosity. The Exhibition to commence on
  Monday, the 28th of August 1826, precisely at half-past five o’clock
  in the evening.

On the evening of the 28th August there were more than twenty thousand
people assembled at the foot of the hill, on foot, on horseback, and in
every kind of conveyance. Of course Signor Carlo Gram Villecrop did not
put in an appearance, for that best of all the reasons that could be
given--his having no existence out of the minds of the perpetrators of
the swindle.

       *       *       *       *       *

We had intended to introduce as a congenial subject the great
bottle-trick hoax, but as we have already run to such length, and as
this famous piece of humbug will stand well alone, we give it a chapter
to itself.

  [36] Book of Days.




CHAPTER XIII.

_THE GREAT BOTTLE-TRICK SWINDLE._


At the close of the year 1748, or in the beginning of 1749, the Duke of
Montague, Lord Portman, and some other noblemen were talking about the
gullibility of the people, and the Duke offered to wager that, let a man
advertise the most impossible thing in the world, he would find fools
enough in London to fill a playhouse, and pay handsomely for the
privilege of being there. “Surely,” said the Earl of Chesterfield, “if a
man should say that he would jump into a quart bottle, nobody would
believe that.” The Duke was somewhat staggered at this, but for the sake
of the jest determined to make the experiment. Accordingly the following
advertisement was inserted in the papers of the first week in January
1749:--

  AT the New Theatre in the Hay market, on Monday next, the 12th
  instant, is to be seen a Person who performs the several most
  surprising things following, viz.--1st. He takes a common walking Cane
  from any of the Spectators, and thereon plays the music of every
  Instrument now in use, and likewise sings to surprising
  perfection.--2dly. He presents you with a common Wine Bottle, which
  any of the spectators may first examine; this Bottle is placed on a
  Table in the middle of the Stage, and he (without any equivocation)
  goes into it, in the sight of all the Spectators, and sings in it;
  during his stay in the bottle, any Person may handle it, and see
  plainly that it does not exceed a common Tavern Bottle.--Those on the
  Stage, or in the Boxes, may come in masked habits (if agreeable to
  them); and the Performer, if desired, will inform them who they
  are.--Stage, 7s. 6d. Boxes, 5s. Pit, 3s. Gallery, 2s. Tickets to be
  had at the Theatre:--To begin at half an hour after six o’clock. The
  performance continues about two hours and a half.

  _Note._-If any Gentlemen or Ladies (after the above Performance)
  either single or in company, in or out of mask, is desirous of seeing
  a representation of any deceased Person, such as Husband or Wife,
  Sister or Brother, or any intimate Friend of either sex, upon making a
  gratuity to the Performer, shall be gratified by seeing and conversing
  with them for some minutes, as if alive; likewise, if desired, he will
  tell you your most secret thoughts in your past Life, and give you a
  full view of persons who have injured you, whether dead or alive. For
  those Gentlemen and Ladies who are desirous of seeing this last part,
  there is a private Room provided.

  These performances have been seen by most of the crowned Heads of
  Asia, Africa, and Europe, and never appeared public any where but
  once; but will wait on any at their Houses, and perform as above, for
  five Pounds each time. A proper guard is appointed to prevent
  disorder.

On the appointed day the theatre was crowded to excess, but as there was
not even a single fiddle provided to keep the audience in good-humour,
signs of impatience soon began to manifest themselves. When the hour was
past at which the conjuror had to make his appearance, there arose a
horrible uproar, and the loud cat-calls, heightened by cries and beating
of sticks, soon brought a person on the stage, who, amidst endless
bowing and scraping, declared that if the performer did not appear
within a quarter of an hour, the money should be returned. At the same
time a wag in the pit exclaimed that if the ladies and gentlemen would
give double prices he would creep into a pint bottle. Scarcely was the
quarter of an hour’s grace elapsed, when a gentleman in one of the boxes
seized a lighted candle and threw it on the stage. This was the signal
for a general outbreak, the benches were torn up and everything that
could be moved was thrown about. The greater part of the audience made
the best of their way out of the house, the rush to the doors being so
dreadful that wigs, hats, cloaks, and dresses, were left behind and
lost. Meantime the mob remained and almost gutted the building: the wood
was carried into the street and made into a mighty bonfire, whilst the
curtain was hoisted upon a pole by way of a flag. Of the conjuror
nothing was ever heard, but the affair gave rise to a number of curious
advertisements. The Duke of Cumberland having lost his sword in the
general panic, it was advertised in the following manner:--

  LOST, last Monday night at the Little Play house in the Hay market, a
  Sword with a gold Hilt and cutting Blade, with a crimson and gold
  Swordknot tied round the Hilt. Whoever brings it to Mr Chevenix’s Toy
  shop, over against Great Suffolk Street, near Chearing Cross, shall
  receive thirty Guineas reward, and no Questions asked.

It was probably a Jacobite who answered this by the following:--

  FOUND entangled in the slit of a Lady’s demolished smock Petticoat, a
  gold hilted Sword, of martial length and temper, nothing worse for
  wear, with the Spey curiously wrought on one side of the blade, and
  the Scheldt on the other; supposed to have been stolen from the plump
  side of a great General, in his precipitate retreat from the Battle of
  Bottle-Noodles, at Station Foote. Enquire at the Quart Bottle and
  Musical Cane in Potter’s Row.

  _N.B._--Every word of a certain late advertisement is true, except all
  the advertisement.

Foote having been blamed by many for the occurrence of this disgraceful
hoax, excused himself by an advertisement, in which he threw the blame
upon Potter, the proprietor of the playhouse, whom Foote had warned that
he thought a fraud on the public was intended. To this Potter replied by
a counter-advertisement, explaining the precautions he had taken: how he
had not allowed the conjuror or any of his men to take the money, but
placed his own servants at the door, and how he would have returned it
all, but that the house was sacked and the takings stolen. On the 20th
of January there appeared an advertisement of Potter’s, which ran as
follows:--

  WHEREAS a letter signed S. M. dated the 18th instant, was sent
  yesterday by the Penny Post, directed to Mr Potter, in the Hay market;
  which by the contents seems to come from the person who took Mr
  Potter’s Theatre, for Monday last; wherein he complains of much ill
  usage, and insists that the Man can perform the things he advertised,
  and would have performed them, and was actually in a Coach in order to
  come, but was intimidated by two Gentlemen who came from the Gun
  Tavern, who told him he would be taken up if he performed: and in his
  Letter he threatens, that in case Mr Potter will not give him £22,
  which he says he was out of pocket, that he will apply to some Court
  of Law or Equity, for justice: He also desires an answer in this
  Paper--In answer to which, S. M. is desired to appear personally and
  to give an Account of his Name and place of Abode; and he shall have
  such Satisfaction as in justice deserves.

  JOHN POTTER.

The same paper also contained the following exculpation:--

  WHEREAS the Public was on Monday last basely abused by an Impostor,
  who pretended to perform what was impracticable, at the Theatre in the
  Hay market; the same imposition some evil-minded villains imagined
  John Coustos, Lapidary, to be the author of: This is to assure the
  Public that the said John Coustos had never such Design, nor ever
  hired or caused to be hired, the House on any occasion whatever; and
  to caution those his Enemies, who are the Authors of this Report, not
  to assert a thing which they know to be a gross Falsity: And there are
  those who are ready to attest on Oath that he was in their company
  that Evening, and was at the Theatre as a spectator only.

  JOHN COUSTOS.

Many attempts were made to fathom the depth and discover the origin of
this hoax, and several humorous explanations were given in the papers,
among them being the following:--

  WHEREAS various stories have been told the Public, about the Man and
  the Bottle, the following account seems to be the best as yet given of
  that odd Affair; viz. A Gentleman went to him the same evening he was
  to perform in the Haymarket, and asking him what he must have to
  perform to him in private, he said £5, on which they agreed; and the
  Conjuror getting ready to go into the Bottle, which was set on a
  Table, the gentleman having provided a Parcel of Corks, fitted one to
  the Bottle; then the Conjuror, having darkened the Room as much as was
  necessary, at last with much squeezing got into the Bottle, which, in
  a moment the Gentleman corked up, and whipt into his Pocket, and in
  great haste and seeming confusion, went out of the House, telling the
  Servants who waited at the door, that their Master had bewitched him,
  and bid them go in and take care of him. Thus the poor Man being bit
  himself, in being confined in the Bottle and in a Gentleman’s Pocket,
  could not be in another Place; for he never advertised he would go
  into two Bottles at one and the same time. He is still in the
  Gentleman’s custody, who uncorks him now and then to feed him; but his
  long Confinement has so damped his Spirits, that instead of singing
  and dancing, he is perpetually crying and cursing his ill Fate. But
  though the Town have been disappointed of seeing him go into the
  Bottle, in a few days they will have the pleasure of seeing him come
  out of the Bottle; of which timely notice will be given in the daily
  Papers.

Pamphlets ridiculing the public for its gullibility issued from the
press with alarming rapidity, and advertisements of performances equally
impossible as the bottle-hoax continued to be inserted in the papers for
several weeks after. Among them were the following:--

  _Lately arrived from Italy,_

  SIGNOR CAPITELLO JUMPEDO a surprising Dwarf, no taller than a common
  _Tavern Tobacco Pipe_: who can perform many wonderful Equilibres on
  the slack or tight Rope: likewise he will transform his Body in above
  ten thousand different Shapes and Postures, and after he has diverted
  the Spectators two hours and a half, _he will open his Mouth wide_ and
  jump down his own Throat! He being the most wonderfullest Wonder of
  Wonders, as ever the World wondered at, would be willing to join in
  performance with that surprising Musician, on Monday next in the Hay
  market. He is to be spoke with at the Black Raven in Golden Lane,
  every day from seven till twelve, and from two to all day long.

This was also an emanation caused by the current excitement, and was
published January 27, 1749:--

  DON JOHN DE NASAQUITINE, sworn Brother and Companion to the Man that
  was to have jumped into the Bottle at the Little Theatre in the Hay
  market, on Monday the 16th past; hereby invites all such as were then
  disappointed to repair to the Theatre aforesaid on Monday the 30th;
  and _that_ shall be exhibited unto them, which never has heretofore,
  nor ever will be hereafter seen. All such as shall swear upon the Book
  of Wisdom that they paid for seeing the Bottle Man will be admitted
  gratis; the rest at Gotham prices.

And then the public were treated to this, for the purpose of keeping up
the interest:--

  _Lately arrived from Ethiopia,_

  THE most wonderful and surprising Doctor BENIMBE ZAMMANPOANGO, Oculist
  and Body Surgeon to Emperor of Monoemungi, who will perform on Sunday
  next, at the little T---- in the Hay market, the following surprising
  Operations; viz. 1st, He desires any one of the Spectators only to
  pull out his own Eyes, which as soon as he has done, the Doctor will
  shew them to any Lady or Gentleman then present, to convince them
  there is no Cheat, and then replace them in the Sockets, as perfect
  and entire as ever. 2dly, He desires any officer or other, to rip up
  his own Belly, which when he has done, he (without any Equivocation)
  takes out his Bowels, washes them, and returns them to their place,
  without the Person’s suffering the least hurt. 3dly, He opens the head
  of a J---- of P----, takes out his Brains, and exchanges them for
  those of a Calf; the Brains of a Beau for those of an Ass, and the
  Heart of a Bully for that of a Sheep: which Operations will render the
  Persons more sociable and rational Creatures than they ever were in
  their Lives. And to convince the town that no imposition is intended,
  he desires no Money until the Performance is over. Boxes, 5 guin. Pit
  3. Gallery 2.

  _N.B._--The famous Oculist will be there, and honest S---- F---- H----
  will come if he can. Ladies may come masked, so may Fribbles. The
  Faculty and Clergy gratis. The Orator would be there, but is engaged.

Money seems to have been at least as plentiful as wit in those days,
for, from a lot of other notices bearing on this subject, we take
this:--

  _This is to inform the Public,_

  THAT notwithstanding the great Abuse that has been put upon the
  Gentry, there is now in Town a Man, who instead of creeping into a
  Quart or Pint Bottle, _will change himself into a Rattle_; which he
  hopes will please both young and old. If this Person meets with
  encouragement to this Advertisement, he will then acquaint the Gentry
  where and when he performs.

Strange as it may seem, and notwithstanding all the expenditure of wit
and humour upon the credulity of the times that had been made, one
showman still thought there was room left for a further attempt at
attracting the public with the tenant of a bottle. Very soon after the
great hoax he published the following advertisement, which shows the
desire some industrious people have to avail themselves of the general
disposition of the time. The faculty of imitation is very largely
developed nowadays, as witness what follows as soon as any enterprising
theatrical manager makes “a hit,” and so it is pleasant to find that an
honest penny was turned in humble imitation of the great bottle
swindle:--

  _To be seen at_ MR LEADER’S, _the Old Horseshoe, in Wood Street,
  Cheapside, from Nine till Twelve, and from Four to Seven o’Clock,
  Lately brought from France_,

  A FULL grown MOUSE alive, confined in a small two ounce Phial, the
  Neck of which is not a quarter of an inch Diameter. This amusing
  Creature has lived in the Phial three Years and a half without Drink
  or any Sustenance but Bread only. It cleans out its little Habitation,
  and hath many other pretty Actions, as surprising as agreeable; but
  particularly creates wonderful diversion with a Fly, and is allowed to
  be an extraordinary Curiosity, never before seen in England; at the
  Expense of 6d. each Person.

  _Note._--Gentlemen or Ladies who don’t chuse to come, it shall be
  carried to them, by sending a line to MR LEADER.

Like everything else of its kind, the excitement in connection with the
bottle-hoax soon gave way to fresh topics of public interest. The trick
has, however, been revived occasionally with more or less effect; and
Theodore Hook’s cruel, and not particularly clever, hoax, which made a
house in Berners Street notorious and its occupants miserable, was but a
phase of the swindle just related; and being so, loses whatever merit it
possessed in the eyes of those who will sacrifice anything to a joke, so
long, of course, as it is original and does not interfere with their own
comfort or convenience. Deprived of its originality, Hook’s exploit
stands forth as a trick hardly excusable in a boy, and utterly at
variance with the character of a gentleman. Now in the bottle-hoax there
was quite a different element; people were invited to the theatre to see
that which they must have known was utterly impossible. In obedience to
the laws which govern human nature, they readily accepted the
invitation, and also, in accordance with the same laws, they resented
the affront they considered had been put upon them. A moral might be
deduced from this, were it not for the fact, that if any hoax analogous
to the bottle-trick were to be advertised to-morrow in a conspicuous
manner, the proportion of dupes would be at least as great as it was in
1749. Perhaps greater.




CHAPTER XIV.

_QUACKS AND IMPOSTORS._


Quacks have been in existence so long, have received so much of the
confidence of the people, and have afforded such capital to satirists
and humourists, that they have become almost a necessity of our
existence, from a literary as well as from a domestic point of view.
They also add considerably to the revenue, if only through the impost
upon patent medicines; for though many may be astonished and horrified
to hear it, all patent medicines--_i.e._, all medicines which bear the
inland-revenue stamp--are of necessity quack, and although many
partisans may endeavour to prove that in the particular case each may
select, this is not so, the qualification must fairly be applied, if
applied to anything, to all medicines which are supposed to specifically
remedy various diseases in various systems, no matter what the
peculiarities of either. It can hardly matter whether the inventor of
the general remedy be learned doctor or impudent charlatan, the
medicine, as soon as ever it assumes specific powers, and is to be
administered by or to anybody, is quack, not only in the proper
acceptation of the term, but in its original signification. Quacks are,
with a few notable exceptions, a very different body now from what they
were in the last century, when they killed more than they cured, and
when drugs were compounded with a recklessness which seems quite
impossible in these moderate days. Just and proper legislation has
clipped the wings of the vile impostors who used to trade upon the
weaknesses of human nature, and with the exception of those pestiferous
practitioners whose advertisements are as noxious as their
prescriptions, and who find the fittest possible media for publication,
quacks are no longer in existence except as purveyors of patent
medicines, pills, ointment, and plasters; and so if there is no cure
there is also no kill. Formerly the quack prescribed and compounded, and
then he was indeed dangerous, and we cannot better prove this than by
means of a remark in the _Gentleman’s Magazine_ of July 1734 about
Joshua Ward, an advertisement in reference to whom is to be found in the
historical part of this book. The paragraph in the old magazine runs:
“There was an extraordinary advertisement in the newspapers this month
concerning the great cures in all distempers performed with one
medicine, a pill or drop, by Joshua Ward, Esq., lately arrived from
Paris, where he had done the like cures. ’Twas said our physicians,
particularly Sir Hans Sloane, had found out his secret, but ’twas judged
so violent a prescription, that it would be deemed malepractice to apply
it as a dose to old and young and in all cases.” And again, in the
Obituary in the same periodical for 1736, there is an advertisement
bearing on this so-called remedy rather unfavourably. It runs thus:--

  _Vesey Hart_, Esq. of _Lincoln’s Inn_. About 15 Months ago he took the
  celebrated Pill, which had at first such violent effects as to throw
  him into Convulsions and deprive him of his Sight. On recovery he fell
  into Consumption.

Joshua Ward was rather a celebrity about that time, even among quacks,
as the following lines from the _Gentleman’s Magazine_ of July 1734 will
show. The heading is--

  UNIV. SPEC. ON WARD’S _Drops_.

    _EGregious Ward_, you boast with success sure,
    That your _one drop_ can _all_ distempers cure:
    When it in _S----n cures_ ambition’s _pain_
    Or ends the _Megrims_ of Sir _James’_ brain,
    Of _wounded conscience_ when it _heals_ the _smart_,
    And on _reflexion_ glads the statesman’s heart;
    When it to women palls old _M--ar--’s gust_,
    And _cools_ ’fore death the _fever_ of his _lust_;
    When _F----d_ it can give of _wit_ a _taste_,
    Make _Harriot_ pious or _lorima_ chaste;
    Make scribbling _B--dg-- deviate_ into _sense_,
    Or give to _Pope_ more wit and excellence;
    Then will I think that your ONE DROP will save
    _Ten thousand_ dying patients from the _grave_.

In the _Daily Advertiser_ of June 10, 1736, there is a puff
advertisement for Ward, which runs:--

  We hear that by the Queen’s appointment, Joshua Ward, Esq; and eight
  or ten persons, who in extraordinary Cases have receiv’d great benefit
  by taking his remedies, attended at the Court at Kensington on monday
  night last, and his patients were examin’d before her Majesty by three
  eminent surgeons, several persons of quality being present, when her
  Majesty was graciously pleas’d to order money to be distributed
  amongst the patients, and congratulated Mr Ward on his great success.

In the _Grub Street Journal_ of June 24 of the same year is an article
on the paragraph, in which it is stated that only seven persons attended
at the palace, and that these were proved to be impostors who were in
collusion with Ward. The _Journal_ is very strong against the quack, and
the article concludes with the following lines, which are in fact a
summary of what has been said in the criticism upon Ward’s fresh attempt
to gull the public:--

  _Seven wonderful Cures._

      One felt his sharp rheumatic pains no more:
    A Second saw much better than before:
    Three cur’d of stone, a dire disease much sadder,
    Who still, ’tis thought, have each a stone in bladder:
    A Sixth brought gravel bottled up and cork’d,
    Which _Drop and Pill_, he say’d, by urine work’d;
    But Questions, ask’d the Patient, all unravell’d;
    Much more than whom the Doctor then was gravell’d.
    The last a little Woman but great glutton,
    Who at one meal eat two raw legs of mutton:
    Nor wonder, since within her stomach lay
    A Wolf, that gap’d for victuals night and day:
    But when he smelt the Pill, he strait for shelter
    Run slap into her belly helter skelter.

There is no necessity to take trouble for the purpose of discovering the
origin of quacks. It is evident that they “came natural” as soon as ever
there was a chance for them, and it is but right to suppose that before
quackery became a question of money-making, it had an existence, the
outcome of a love people have innately for prescribing and administering
to each other, relics of which may still be seen in out-of-the-way parts
of the country. Some people imagine that quackery and the belief, still
current in various parts of Great Britain, that a seventh son,
particularly if the son of a seventh son, possesses medical powers, had
originally something to do with each other. That quackery in general was
caused by this quaint conceit is not to be supposed, yet the belief in
the seventh-son doctrine is well worthy of note. The vulgar mind seems
from the earliest ages to have been impressed by the number seven, and
there are various ways of accounting for this. Chambers, in his “Book of
Days,” says that it is easy to see in what way the Mosaic narrative gave
sanctity to this number in connection with the days of the week, and led
to usages which influence the social life of all the countries of
Europe. “But a sort of mystical goodness or power has attached itself to
the number in many other ways. Seven wise men, seven champions of
Christendom, seven sleepers, seven-league boots, seven ages of man,
seven hills, seven senses, seven planets, seven metals, seven sisters,
seven stars, seven wonders of the world--all have had their day of
favour; albeit that the number has been awkwardly interfered with by
modern discoveries concerning metals, planets, stars, and wonders of the
world. Added to the above list is the group of seven sons, especially in
relation to the youngest or seventh of the seven; and more especially
still if this person happen to be the seventh son of a seventh son. It
is now perhaps impossible to discover in what country, or at what time,
the notion originated, but a notion there certainly is, chiefly in
provincial districts, that a seventh son has something peculiar about
him. For the most part, the imputed peculiarity is a healing power, a
faculty of curing diseases by the touch, or by some other means. The
instances of this belief are numerous enough. There is a rare pamphlet
called ‘The Quack Doctor’s Speech,’ published in the time of Charles II.
The reckless Earl of Rochester delivered this speech on one occasion,
when dressed in character, and mounted on a stage as a charlatan. The
speech, amid much that suited that licentious age, but would be frowned
down by modern society, contained an enumeration of the doctor’s
wonderful qualities, among which was that of being a ‘seventh son of a
seventh son,’ and therefore clever as a curer of bodily ills. The matter
is only mentioned as affording a sort of proof of the existence of a
sort of popular belief. In Cornwall, the peasants and the miners
entertain this notion; they believe that a seventh son can cure the
king’s evil by the touch. The mode of proceeding usually is to stroke
the part affected thrice gently, to blow upon it thrice, to repeat a
form of words, and to give a perforated coin, or some other object, to
be worn as an amulet. At Bristol, about forty years ago, there was a man
who was always called ‘doctor’ simply because he was the seventh son of
a seventh son. The family of the Joneses of Muddfi, in Wales, is said to
have presented seven sons to each of many successive generations, of
whom the seventh son always became a doctor--apparently from a
conviction that he had an inherited qualification to start with. In
Ireland, the seventh son of a seventh son is believed to possess
prophetical as well as healing power. A few years ago a Dublin
shopkeeper finding his errand-boy to be generally very dilatory in his
duties, inquired into the cause, and found that the boy, being the
seventh son of a seventh son, his services were often in requisition
among the poorer neighbours, in a way that brought in a good many pieces
of silver. Early in the present century there was a man in Hampshire,
the seventh son of a seventh son, who was consulted by the villagers as
a doctor, and who carried about with him a collection of crutches and
sticks, purporting to have once belonged to persons whom he had cured of
lameness. Cases are not wanting, also, in which the seventh daughter is
placed upon a similar pinnacle of greatness. In Scotland the spaewife or
fortune-teller frequently announces herself as the seventh daughter of a
seventh daughter, to enhance her claims to prophetic power. Even so late
as 1851, an inscription was seen on a window in Plymouth, denoting that
a certain doctress was the third seventh daughter!--which the world was
probably intended to interpret as the seventh daughter of the seventh
daughter of a seventh daughter. . . . . France, as well as our own
country, has a belief in the seventh-son mystery. The _Journal de
Loiret_, a French provincial newspaper, in 1854 stated that, in Orleans,
if a family has seven sons and no daughter, the seventh is called a
_Marcou_, is branded with a fleur-de-lis, and is believed to possess the
power of curing the king’s evil. The Marcou breathes on the part
affected, or else the patient touches the Marcou’s fleur-de-lis. In the
year above named there was a famous Marcou in Orleans named Foulon; he
was a cooper by trade, and was known as ‘le beau Marcou.’ Simple
peasants used to come to visit him from many leagues in all directions,
particularly in Passion-week, when his ministrations were believed to be
most efficacious. On the night of Good Friday, from midnight to sunrise,
the chance of cure was supposed to be especially good, and on this
account four or five hundred persons would assemble. Great disturbances
hence arose; and as there was evidence, to all except the silly dupes
themselves, that Foulon made use of their superstition to enrich
himself, the police succeeded, but not without much opposition, in
preventing these assemblages. In some of the states of Germany there
used formerly to be a custom for the reigning prince to stand sponsor to
a seventh son (no daughter intervening) of any of his subjects. Whether
still acted upon is doubtful; but there was an incident lately which
bore on the old custom in a curious way. A West-Hartlepool newspaper
stated that Mr J. V. Curths, a German, residing in that busy colliery
town, became, towards the close of 1857, the father of one of those
prodigies--a seventh son. Probably he himself was a Saxe-Gothan by
birth; at any rate he wrote to the Prince Consort, reminding him of the
old German custom, and soliciting the honour of his Royal Highness’s
sponsorship to the child. The Prince was doubtless a little puzzled by
this appeal, as he often must have been by the strange appeals made to
him. Nevertheless, a reply was sent in the Prince’s name, very
complimentary to his countryman, and enclosing a substantial souvenir
for the little child; but the newspaper paragraph is not sufficiently
clear for us to be certain whether the sponsorship really was assented
to, and, if so, how it was performed.” It is not at all likely, proud as
the late Prince was of his countrymen, and of Germans generally, that he
took upon himself the pains and penalties of sponsorship to this
miraculous infant, whose father was doubtless well satisfied with the
douceur he received, and never expected even that.

Saffold was an early humbug who depended mainly upon doggerel rhyme for
attraction. It is to be hoped that his wares were better than his
numbers, or else the deaths of many must have lain heavy on his soul.
One of his bills, enumerating his address and claims upon the attention
of the public, informs us that of him

      _The Sick may have Advice for Nothing,_
    And good Medicines cheap, if so they please
    For to cure any curable Disease.
    It’s _Saffold’s_ Pills, much better than the Rest,
    Deservedly have gained the Name of best
    In curing by the Cause, quite purging out
    Of Scurvy, Dropsie, Agues, Stone and Gout.
    The Head, Stomach, Belly and the Reins, they
    Will cleanse and cure, while you may work or play.
    His Pills have often, to their Maker’s Praise,
    Cur’d in all Weathers, yea, in the Dog-Days.
    In short, no purging Med’cine is made, can
    Cure more Diseases in Man or Woman,
    Than his cheap Pills, but three Shillings the Box.
    Each Box contains Thirty-six Pills I’m sure.
    As good as e’er were made Scurvy to cure.
    The half Box eighteen Pills, for eighteen Pence,
    Tho’ ’t is too cheap, in any Man’s own Sense.

At the foot of the bill, after a lot of puffery, he breaks out into
rhyme once more:--

      Some envious Men being griev’d may say,
    What needs Bills thus still be given away?
    Answer: New People come to London every Day.
    Believing Solomon’s Advice is right,
    I will do what I do with all my might.
    Also, unless an English Proverb lies
    Practice brings Experience and makes wise.
    Experimental Knowledge, I protest,
    In lawful Arts and Science is the best,
    Instead of _Finis_ Saffold ends with Rest.

Another of his bills, which were various and plentiful, began thus:--

      Dear Friends, let your Disease be what God will,
    Pray to Him for a Cure, try Saffold’s Skill;
    Who may be such a healing Instrument,
    As will cure you to your own Heart’s Content.
    His Medicines are cheap and truly good.
    Being full as safe as your daily Food--
    Saffold he can do what may be done, by
    Either Physick or true Astrology.
    His best Pills, rare Elixir and Powder,
    Do each Day praise him louder and louder.
    Dear Countrymen, I pray be you so wise
    When Men backbite him, believe not their Lies,
    But go, see him, and believe your own Eyes.
    Then he will say you are honest and kind.
    Try before you judge and speak as you find.

At another time the muse informs us, among other things in connection
with the great Saffold, that

    He knows some who are Knaves in Grain,
    And have more Gall and Spleen than Brain,
    Will ill reward his Skill and Pain.

  He hath practised Astrology above 15 Years, and hath License to
  practise Physick, and he thanks God for it, hath great Experience and
  wonderful Success in both those Arts, giving to doubtful People and by
  God’s Blessing, cureth the Sick of any Age or Sex or Distemper though
  given over by Others, and never so bad (if curable); therefore let
  none despair of a Cure, but try him.

  Yet some conceited Fools will ask how he came to be able to do such
  great Cures, and to foretell such strange Things, and to know how to
  make such rare and powerful Medicines, as his best _Pills_, _Elixir_
  and _Diet Drinks_ are, and wherefore he doth publish the same in
  Print? But he will answer such dark Animals thus:

      It hath so pleased God, the King of Heaven,
    Being He to him hath Knowledge given,
    And in him there can be no greater Sin,
    Than to hide his Talent in a Napkin.
    His Candle is Light and he will not under
    A Bushel put it, let the World wonder:
    Though he be traduced by such like Tools,
    As have Knaves’ Hearts, Lackbrains are Fools.

  ☞ ^I request a favourable Construction upon this Publick way of
  Practice^ (^And^ _as I am a Graduate Physician_) _should wholly omit
  to appear in Print, as well in this Disease as I have at all Times in
  all other Diseases, only in Opposition to the Ignorant, that pretend
  to Cure, and to prevent the ruine of them that suffer and I see daily
  throw themselves upon ignorant and outlandish Pretenders and others,
  to the Patient’s utter ruine of Body and Purse_. AND _upon this
  Consideration alone, I was persuaded rather to adventure the censure
  of_ some, than conceal that which may be of great use to many.

One other specimen of this artist’s verse and we will let him follow his
predecessors. It may be as well to mention that when Saffold left the
scene of his labours, “his mantle” was supposed to fall on one John
Case, who followed in his footsteps so closely that the lines which had
done for one quack were often made to do for the other.

    Saffold resolves, as in his Bills exprest,
    When asked in good Earnest, not in Jest;
    He can cure when God Almighty pleases,
    But cannot protect against Diseases.
    If Men will live intemperate and sin,
    He cannot help ’t if they be sick agen.
    This great Truth unto the World he will tell
    None can cure sooner, who cures half so well.

Dr John Case was a contemporary of Dr Radcliffe, and a noted quack who
united the professions of an astrologer and a physician. He took the
house in which Lilly had resided, and over his door was a vile distich
which was said to have brought him more money than Dryden earned by all
his works. Upon his pill-boxes he placed the following curious rhyme:--

    Here’s 14 Pills for 3 Pence
    Enough is every Man’s own Con-sci-ence.

It is almost impossible to find out when quacks were not, and as we have
before remarked, as long as there have been advertisements, whether in
newspapers or elsewhere, these cunning rogues have been fully awake to
their advantages and uses. One effusion, published as a handbill in the
time of William and Mary, is noticeable, as, though the advertisers call
themselves physicians, there is reason to doubt their right to the
title, and to believe that the college was anything but what we now
understand by the word. The bill proclaims itself as an

  ADVERTISEMENT.

  The Physitians of the Colledge, that us’d to consult twice a Week for
  the benefit of the Sick at the Consultation House, at the Carved Angel
  and Crown in King-street, near Guildhall, meet now four times a Week;
  and therefore give Publick Notice, that on Mondays, Wednesdays,
  Thursdays and Fridays, from two in the afternoon till six, they may be
  advised by the known Poor, and meaner Families for nothing; and that
  their Expectations and Demands from the middle Rank shall be moderate:
  but as for the Rich and Noble, Liberality is inseparable from their
  Quality and Breeding.

This is, to say the least, peculiar, the quaint use of the word
“advised” seeming very strange, while the wind-up shows that whoever and
whatever the physicians may have been, they were not likely to lose
sight of the main chance. But their notice is feeble compared with
another handbill of the same period, which is of the most dogmatic
order, and is called

  _A friendly and seasonable Advertisement concerning the Dog-days, by_
  Nath. Merry, Philo-Chim.

  In regard that there are many that perish in and about this City, &c.
  through an evil custom, arising from a false opinion That it is not
  safe to take Physick in the Extreams of Heat and Cold or in the Dog
  days; and some exclude old People, Women with Child and little
  Children, from the use of Medicine; which is as much as to say, That
  God hath ordained no Medicine for such Times and such Ages, which
  would be absurd to imagine, seeing we know there is no Time, Age nor
  Disease exempted from proper homogenial and effectual Means (with
  God’s Blessing) only against Death there is no Medicine, the Time of
  which to us is uncertain. From the aforesaid Mistakes many labour
  under the tyranny of their Diseases, till the Catastrophe end in Death
  (before the Time come which they have alotted for their Cure) which
  might by timely and suitable Remedies be prevented. It’s granted _pro
  confesso_ that there is a sort of _Dogmatical Medicines_, that is
  unfit to be exhibited in those Times, and are not innocent at any
  Time, being impregnated with venomenous Beams, which by their virulent
  Hostility invade the vital Œconomy of the Body. But you may have
  Archeal or Vital medicines, truly adapted for all Times; being
  divested of their Crudities and heterogene Qualities, by a true
  Separation of the pure from the impure, and impregnated with Beams of
  Light, which give their Influences and refreshing Glances upon the
  vital Faculties, expels Venoms, alters Ferments, co-unites with Nature
  and re-unites its powers to their due Œconomy, and such Medicines
  being most natural and most powerful in the most deplorable Diseases
  being timely taken are most effectual, and are no more to be omitted
  at any time than foods, and are altogether as safe.

And so on at length, until Nath. Merry divulges the secret that he is
the man for the dog-days, and that all others are impostors, which in
common with many remarks of the kind, found in most advertisements of
the same and other times issued by pretended curers of all known and
many unknown disorders, lead us to the belief that however willing
quacks have always been to impose upon the credulous themselves, they
have been careful enough to expose the presumption of their rivals: a
merciful dispensation of providence, which has enabled the statements of
one rogue to be balanced, and to a certain extent neutralised, by those
of another, and so the remedy is found in the disease when at its worst.
Had it not been for the attacks made by empirics upon each other
throughout the last century, qualified medical men would have stood a
very bad chance, and as it is they seem to have often been obliged to
join the ranks of the rascals from sheer inability to get a living
without pandering to the popular taste for infallible remedies and
things generally unknown to the pharmacopœia. Here is the commencement
of an appeal made just prior to the year 1700 by one quack, which
consists in a warning against all others of the same profession, and
which shows how anxious the writer is for the public benefit, except
where his own is immediately concerned:--

  A CAUTION TO THE UNWARY.

  ’Tis generally acknowledged throughout all Europe, that no Nation has
  been so fortunate in producing such eminent Physicians, as this
  Kingdom of ours; and ’tis as obvious to every Eye, that no Country was
  ever pestered with so many ignorant Quacks or Empirics. The Enthusiast
  in Divinity having no sooner acted his Part, and had his _Exit_, but
  on the same Stage, from his Shop (or some worse Place) enters the
  Enthusiast in Physicks: yesterday a Taylor, Heelmaker, Barber, Serving
  Man, Rope Dancer, etc., to-day _per saltum_ a learned Doctor, able to
  instruct Esculapius himself, for he never obliged Mankind yet with a
  _Panacæa_, an universal Pill or Powder that could cure all Diseases,
  which now every Post can direct you to, though it proves only the
  Hangman’s Remedy for all Diseases by Death. _Pudet hæc opprobria
  dici_; for shame, my dear Countrymen, reassume your Reasons, and
  expose not your Bodies and Purses to the handling of such illiterate
  Fellows, who never had the Education of a Grammar-School, much less of
  an University.

  Nor be ye so irrational as to imagine anything extraordinary (unless
  it be Ignorance) in a Pair of outlandish Whiskers, tho’ he’s so
  impudent to tell you he has been Physician to 3 Emperours and 9 Kings
  when in his own Country he durst not give Physick to a Cobbler.

  Nor be gulled with another sort of Impostor, who allures you to him
  with CURE WITHOUT MONEY, but when he once has got you into his
  Clutches, he handles you as unmercifully as he does unskilfully.

  Nor be ye imposed on by the Pretence of any _Herculean_ Medicine, that
  shall with four Doses at 5s. a Dose, cure the most inveterate
  Complaint, and Distempers not to be eradicated (in the Opinion of the
  most learned in all Ages) with less than a Renovation of all the
  Humours in the whole Body.

  These and the like Abuses (too numerous here to be mentioned) have
  induced me to continue this public Way of Information, that you may be
  honestly dealt with, and perfectly cured, repairing to him, who with
  God’s Blessing on his Studies and 20 Years successful Practice in this
  City of London hath attained to the easiest and speediest way of
  curing.

Then follows the puff which this disinterested person gives to his own
wares and powers, and if it is to be believed, he certainly proves to
demonstration that he is as good as the others are bad. The next item we
have is a bill of the early eighteenth century, headed by a rude woodcut
of a unicorn’s horn. There is no address on it, and it looks as though
used while travelling round the country, in which case the High-German’s
lodging for the time being would be written or printed on the back, or
supplemented in one of the ways usual among itinerant charlatans:--

  _The High-German, Master of the Waxwork,_

  Hath an Unicorn’s Horn that was found in the Deserts of Arabia, the
  Powder whereof does several wonderful Cures, whereof I was advised by
  several Doctors to Publish the same in Print; the Cures that it has
  done are as follow:

  I have in my Travels, by the Virtues of this Powder, saved the Lives
  of several Gentlewomen in Child-Bed, which could not be Delivered
  before they took the Powder.

  About October the Fifth, 1702, I was in the Town of Hampton, in the
  County of Gloucester, at Mr Gardners, at the Sign of the White-Hart,
  where I heard that one Mrs Webb was in Child-Bed and could not be
  Delivered, so that Doctor Farr of the said Town, the Midwife and all
  Women left her off for Dead, upon which I sent my Landlady with a
  little of this Powder, the Quantity whereof would lie upon a
  Six-pence, which the Gentlewoman took, and was Delivered in less than
  a Quarter of an Hour; Doctor Farr has given it under his Hand, and
  some other Gentlemen of the Town can testify, that this Powder was the
  saving of her Life (under God).

  Likewise this Powder is a certain Cure for the Kings-Evil, when it
  breaks and runs: The Powder must be put on a Linnen Cloath and applied
  to the Place, and take as much as will lie on a Six-pence for two
  Mornings in warm Ale.

  The College of Physitians in London, hearing of this Powder, they came
  to my Lodging, on purpose to see this Horn, and desired me to let them
  have some Experience to try if it would Expel Poyson, upon which they
  sent for two Dogs and Poysoned them both, and asked me if I could save
  one of them, whereupon I took a little Powder of this Horn in a
  Spoonful of Milk, and gave it to one of them, that which I gave it to
  was saved, and the other died in their Presence, after which the
  Doctors offered me a great Sum of Money for this Horn, which I was not
  willing to part with.

  If there are any Gentlewomen desirous to Buy any of this Powder, I
  Sell it at Reasonable Rates, and it may be kept Ten Years and not lose
  its Virtue.

  FINIS.

In Queen Anne’s time, and during the first years of the Hanoverian
succession, quackery does not seem to have impaired its professors’
positions in society, providing they had other claims to consideration,
and even the most impudent impostors obtained rank and celebrity under
circumstances which hardly seem possible. Listen to the following: “Sir
William Read, originally a tailor or a cobbler, became progressively a
mountebank and a quack doctor, and gained, in his case, the equivocal
honour of knighthood from Queen Anne. He is said to have practised by
‘the light of nature:’ and though he could not read, he could ride in
his own chariot, and treat his company with good punch out of a golden
bowl. He had an uncommon share of impudence; a few scraps of Latin in
his bills made the ignorant suppose him to be wonderfully learned. He
did not seek his reputation in small places, but practised at that high
seat of learning, Oxford; and in one of his addresses he called upon the
Vice-Chancellor, University, and the City, to vouch for his cures--as,
indeed, he did upon the people of the three kingdoms. Blindness vanished
before him, and he even deigned to practise in other distempers; but he
defied all competition as an oculist. Queen Anne and George I. honoured
Read with the care of their eyes; from which one would have thought the
rulers, like the ruled, as dark intellectually as Taylor’s (his brother
quack) coach-horses were corporeally, of which it was said five were
blind in consequence of their master having exercised his skill upon
them.” Dr Radcliffe mentions this humbug as “Read the mountebank, who
has assurance enough to come to our table up-stairs at Garraway’s,
swears he’ll stake his coach and six horses, his two blacks, and as many
silver trumpets, against a dinner at Pontack’s.” Read died at Rochester,
May 24, 1715. After Queen Anne had knighted him and Dr Hannes, the
following lines were published:--

      The Queen, like Heav’n, shines equally on all,
    Her favours now without distinction fall:
    Great Read and slender Hannes, both knighted, show
    That none their honours shall to merit owe.
    That Popish doctrine is exploded quite,
    Or Ralph had been no duke and Read no knight.
    That none may virtue or their learning plead,
    This has no grace and that can hardly read.

The Ralph referred to here is the first Duke of Montague, a title that
has already appeared conspicuously in these pages. In the matter of the
bestowal of titles, especially knighthoods and baronetcies, we have no
particular reason to congratulate ourselves now, but we have certainly
improved since the days when rank was sold or bestowed upon the most
audacious adventurers. So far as merit is concerned, we are, however,
much in the same position as we were in the days of Read and Ralph; but
ability always was an unmarketable commodity, and now it seems to secure
its unhappy possessors the decided enmity of those more favoured beings
whose dependence is upon patronage, and not upon personal powers, and
who, in humble imitation of the fox of fable, affect to despise any such
common thing as cleverness. And unfortunately this observation has a far
wider bearing than on the mere bestowal of titles. It refers to things
generally, and to the means by which many clever men are deprived of
their subsistence, and driven to the wall by the nepotism and friendly
feeling so often exercised in favour of the most arrant impostors, or on
behalf of those who are just clever enough to conceal their ignorance
and inability, to rob others of their ideas, or to foist second-hand
notions upon a credulous and misjudging public.

In “A Journey through England,” published in 1723, we get the following
picture of a travelling quack of that time: “I cannot leave Winchester
without telling you of a pleasant incident that happened there. As I was
sitting at the George Inn, I saw a coach with six bay horses, a calash
and four, a chaise and four, enter the inn, in a yellow livery turned up
with red; four gentlemen on horseback, in blue trimmed with silver; and
as yellow is the colour given by the dukes in England, I went out to see
what duke it was; but there was no coronet on the coach, only a plain
coat-of-arms on each with this motto ‘_Argento laborat Faber_.’ Upon
inquiry I found this great equipage belonged to a mountebank, and his
name being Smith, the motto was a pun upon his name. The footmen in
yellow were his tumblers and trumpeters, and those in blue his
merry-andrew, his apothecary and spokesman. He was dressed in black
velvet, and had in his coach a woman that danced on the ropes. He cures
all diseases and sells his packets for sixpence apiece. He erected
stages in all the market towns twenty miles round; and it is a prodigy
how so wise a people as the English are gulled by such pickpockets. But
his amusements on the stage are worth the sixpence without the pills. In
the morning he is dressed up in a fine brochade nightgown, for his
chamber practice, when he gives advice and gets larger fees.”

Although the papers of the early eighteenth century actually teem with
the advertisements of quacksalvers, few of the applications to the
unwary possess any distinctive features, and those which do are of the
grossest possible description. In the _Daily Post_ of July 14, 1736,
there is a curious testimonial to the abilities of a City practitioner
who advertised very considerably about that period. His advertisements
all take the form of recommendations from those who have received
benefit at his hands and from his medicines, and the one we have chosen
will give a fair idea of the others, which in many cases refer to the
disorders of the gentler sex:--

  THESE are to certify, that I Richard Sandford, Waterman, dwelling in
  Horsely-down-street, near the Dipping Pond, have a Son, who for a
  considerable Time was troubled with a _Pain in his Stomach, a
  Sleepiness and Giddiness_, whereupon I calling to Mind that some Years
  since my Wife’s Mother, betwixt 60 and 70 years of Age, _afflicted
  with a Palsy or Hemeplegia, or loss of the Use of one Side of her
  Body, had been cured by_

  _Mr._ JOHN MOORE, _Apothecary_,

  _At the Pestle and Mortar in Laurence-Pountney’s Lane, the first Great
  Gates on the Left-Hand from Cannon-street,_

  I applied to him for Relief of my Son, who after having taken a few of
  his Worm-Powders, they brought from him a WORM (or INSECT) like a
  Hog-Louse, with Legs and hairy, or a Kind of Down all over it, and
  very probably more, but he going to a common Vault they were lost;
  upon which he is amended as to his former Illnesses, and I desire this
  may be printed for the Good of others.

  Witness

  RICHARD SANDFORD.

  _Oct. 6, 1735._

  N.B. The said JOHN MOORE’S Worm Medicines and Green-Sickness Powder,
  are sold at Mrs. Reader’s at the Nine Sugar-Loaves, a Chandler’s Shop
  in Hungerford-Market, sealed with his Coat of Arms, being a Cross,
  with the Words, _John Moore’s Worm-Powders_, &c., inscribed round it:
  And if any are Sold at any place, except at his own House, without
  that Seal and Inscription, they are Counterfeits.

  He sells Byfield’s Sal Volatile Oliosum, at 6d. per Ounce.

  To be had at the said J. Moore’s,

  COLUMBARIUM; or, The Pigeon-House: Being an Introduction to a Natural
  History of Tame Pigeons, giving an Account of the several Species
  known in England, with the Method of breeding them, their Distempers
  and Cures.

  _The two chief Advantages, which a real Acquaintance with Nature
  brings to our Minds, are first, by instructing our Understandings and
  gratifying our Curiosities; and next by exciting and cherishing our
  Devotion._

  Boyle’s Experimental Philosophy, p. 3.

Mr Sandford’s ideas on natural history were rather confused, and his
powers of description evidently bothered by the astonishing “insect”
which had so annoyed his son. What a pity so curious a specimen was not
preserved for the benefit of Moore and “the good of others”! There was
now a sore battle being fought between the quacks and the regular
practitioners, the latter being bound to come forward and defend what
they considered to be their rights by all and every means. That they did
not disdain the use of advertisements, the following, which had its
origin in a small gossiping paragraph, shows. It appears in the _Daily
Journal_ of July 22, 1734, but was originally published a few days
before, without the two paragraphs after signature:--

  WHEREAS in the Papers of Saturday last there was a Paragraph relating
  to a Dispute that happened at Child’s Coffee-house, between a Doctor
  and a Surgeon; I think it my Duty to tell the Fact that occasioned
  this Dispute, truly as it is.

  On Wednesday the 10th of July I sent to Mr. Nourse; when he came I
  told him I had a Swelling and great Pain in my Leg; he saw it, said it
  was much inflamed, and that I must be blooded, take some Physick, and
  that he would send something that was proper to be applied; I was
  immediately let Blood; and he writ a Purge for me, to be taken the
  next Day, which I took, and am thereby, I thank God, much better.
  Afterwards, in the same Conversation, he ask’d me how long I had been
  ill? my Answer was, ten Days; he reply’d, have you been ill so long,
  and had no Advice? I then told him, I had, some Days before, been to
  the Jew Doctor’s House; his Answer was, I suppose you mean Dr.
  Schamberg, and pray what has he ordered for you? I said, I could not
  tell; but being desirous that Dr. Nourse should see the Prescription,
  I sent to the Apothecary’s for it by my Son, who brought it directly
  into the Room, where there was not anybody but Mr. Nourse and myself;
  Mr. Nourse looked upon the Bill, and told me I must take none of these
  Things now; nor the Spaw Water, said I? (for that was Part of the
  Prescription); his Answer was No, and laid the Bill down upon the
  Table, without saying anything more. This is the whole Truth, and I’m
  ready to attest it by an Affidavit.

  N.B. When I sent to Mr. Nourse I was determined to apply no more to
  Dr. Schamberg, he being in a manner a Stranger to me, and I have been
  much worse every Day, from the Time I began to take his Medicines.

  B. J. KNIGHT.

  Leadenhall Market, 15 July.

  The Propriety of Æsculapius’s Prescription judge of by the Effect.

  Q. Whether Steel steep’d in Brandy, and Spa Water, are proper for a
  Shortness of Breath, or an Inflammation.

After this had been published once or twice, the advertiser, who could
hardly have taken so much trouble out of pure gratitude, inserted
another notice in the form of an affidavit, containing the foregoing and
other particulars, the most important of which is that which discovers
her sex. At least we presume that Bridget was a woman’s name in 1734.
The difficulties between the doctors and apothecaries--the latter, when
not quacks themselves, being their special agents--and the demand made
for the far-famed Jesuits’ Bark, are both shown in the following
handbill, which is of about the same date as the foregoing:--

  WHEREAS it has been of late the Endeavour of several Members of the
  Physicians College, to reform the Abuses of the Apothecaries, as well
  in the Prizes as in the Composition of their Medicines, This is to
  give Notice for the public Good, that a superfine Sort of _Jesuits
  Bark_ ready powder’d and paper’d into Doses, with or without
  Directions for the Use of it, is to be had at Dr. Charles Goodal’s at
  the Coach and Horses, in Physician’s Colledge in Warwick Lane, at 4s.
  per Ounce, or for a Quantity together at £3 per Pound; for the
  Reasonableness of which Prizes, (considering the Loss and Trouble in
  powdering) we appeal to all the Druggists and Apothecaries themselves
  in Town, and particularly to Mr. Thair, Druggist in Newgate Street, to
  whom we paid full 9s. per Pound for a considerable Quantity for the
  Use of our self and our friends.

  And for the Excellency and Efficacy of this particular Bark enquire of
  Dr. Morton in Grey Friars.

  _I am to be spoken with at Prayers at_ S. Sepulchre’s every Day, _but
  the Lord’s Day, at Seven in the Morning, and at Home from Eight in the
  Morning till Ten at Night_.

  _The Poor may have Advice_ (_that is_, Nothing) _for_ Nothing.

“Nothing for nothing” is a rate of exchange which is current even to
this day, and was very likely known long before the time of this
physician, whose effort could hardly have been expected to prove
disastrous to the empirics, as he, among other peculiarities, regards
what should have been his strong point of dissimilarity from them as
“nothing.” Another bill of the same period is noticeable for the
explicitness of the address given in it:--

  When you are in _Baldwin’s Gardens_, that you may not mistake, ask for
  _Leopard’s Court_, and there at the Sign of the _Moon and Stars_, you
  will find the _Louvain Doctor_ from 8 in the Morning till 7 at Night.
  As you pass by the end of Leopard’s Court you may see the Sign of the
  _Moon and Stars_, which, pray, observe, least you mistake: for there
  are several Pretenders, therefore keep this bill. _Baldwin’s Gardens_
  are near _Holborn_.

Baldwin’s Gardens would hardly be a good address in these times for even
the veriest quack. It is now about the foulest specimen extant of that
kind of backslum or alley where, a generation back, according to Hood,
pigs and Irish were wont to rally. The pigs, except in the form of
hocks, “Jerry Lynch” heads, and other portions of bacon, have been
removed by Act of Parliament since the poet sang his simple lay of “The
Lost Child,” but the Irish have increased and multiplied with an
activity unknown to them in other pursuits. The powers of the finest
peasantry in the world are undoubted in one particular of
philoprogenitiveness under any circumstances, and they seem to exert
them to the utmost when least required and most inconvenient--when they
are “pigged up” in small rooms and festering courts, and when every
fresh birth is an outrage upon the sanatory laws supposed to govern us,
and upon their own sense of decency. We are in the habit of hearing most
of our domestic and civic misfortunes ascribed to the higher wages and
increased leisure of the labouring classes of the present, as compared
with those of twenty or thirty years back. Is this the case with regard
to the rapid development of inhabitants for Baldwin’s Gardens, Leather
Lane, Saffron Hill, and neighbouring purlieus? There may be increased
leisure there, but if the wages are higher now than they were, in
proportion to the higher price of provisions, they must have suffered
worse than starvation in years gone by. So unhealthily crowded--in fact,
pestilent--is the neighbourhood we have mentioned, that no number of
quacks could have done more to shorten life than the inhabitants now do
for themselves. But even these poor wretches are made the groundwork for
a new system of quackery--the quackery of the mock philanthropist, who
builds model lodging-houses, ostensibly and with much flourishing of
trumpets, for the very poor, and then lets them to people who never did
dwell in rookeries; to those people who can afford to pay good rents,
and so keep up the dividends which are the modern reward of so-called
charity.

Notwithstanding the many stirring events of the early part of the last
century, there is little or nothing to read in any of the papers. This
may be accounted for by the difficulty of obtaining news from distant or
even from any parts a hundred and thirty years or so back; but whatever
the reason, this is certain, the advertisements are by far the best
reading in the journals, daily or weekly. Though the newspapers were to
our notions wonderfully small, their editors seem to have had the
greatest difficulty in filling the little space they had at command with
news, and provincial journals were sometimes put to strange shifts,
even the now common work of the liner, that of inventing facts, being
then unknown. It is by no means unusual to find a chapter of the Bible
put in to fill up the columns; and even as late as 1740 the _London and
County Journal_ gratified its readers with the History of the Old and
New Testaments, while other papers filled up their front pages with
occasional extracts from the histories of England and other countries,
or selections from books of travel. Singular as this may seem, it is
true. Its truth is perhaps the most singular thing about it.

Among the many specifics of the last century was snuff, which in various
forms is advertised as possessing the power not only of curing all
bodily but many mental evils. In the _General Advertiser_ for June 21,
1749, there is an advertisement of a snuff which was supposed to cure
lunacy. Certainly it has an effect on the ideas with regard to the
construction of sentences, as the proprietor himself shows:--

  GENTLEMEN,

  ONCE more I desire you to remember, I have published my _Imperial
  Snuff_, for all Disorders in the Head; and I think I might have gone
  further, and said, for all Disorders of Body and Mind. It hath set a
  great many to rights that was never expected, but there is but few, or
  none, that careth to have it published they were a little out of their
  Senses, although it be really an Ailment that none can help; but there
  is present Relief, if not a Cure; but I hope both, as by God’s
  Assistance it hath been performed already on many. And I think it my
  Duty to let the World know it, that they may not bear so many
  miserable Ailments that is capable of curing. I hear it is reported
  abroad I am dead, and that the World is imposed on; but, thank God, I
  am alive and put my Dependance on him, that he will give me leave to
  do some more Service before I go hence. But suppose I was dead, my
  Snuff is alive, and I hope it will live after I am dead, as it is
  capable of keeping the World in sprightly Life and Health, which must
  be allowed to be the greatest Blessing in the World. But what is
  Riches without that? And what would some have given for some of these
  Reliefs before it was advertised. But you are all heartily welcome at
  this Price of Sixpence, at present, but I should be glad of more from
  the Rich. I do assure you it is sold at this Price in regard to the
  Poor only.

  I am yours, etc.

  SAMUEL MAJOR.

  _In Swedland Court, against the end of Half-Moon-Alley, Bishopsgate
  Street._

The next gentleman upon the list is Mr Patence, who combined in himself
many valuable qualifications, and was according to his own showing a
decided benefactor to humanity. In December 1771 we find the following
in the _Gazetteer_:--

  MR Patence, Dentist and Dancing Master, No. 8, Bolt Court, Fleet
  Street, whose Ingenuity in making artificial Teeth, and fixing them
  without the least Pain, can be attested by several of the Nobility,
  and hopes to be honoured by the rest of the Great--may depend his
  Study shall be devoted to the good of every Individual. His whole
  Sets, with a Fine enamel on, is a Proof of his excelling all
  Operators. He charges ten Guineas for a whole, five for an upper or
  under Set, and half-a-Guinea for a single Tooth.--His Rose Powder for
  preserving the Teeth, is worthy to grace and perfume the chamber of a
  Prince.--His Medicines for preventing all Infections and sore Throats
  have been experienced by several.--As for dancing, he leaves that to
  the multitude of Ladies and Gentlemen whom he has taught, and desires
  to be rewarded no more than his Merit deserves, nor no less. Public
  School nights, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Evenings; Tuesday
  Evenings set apart for Cotillons only.--_N.B._ His Rose Dentrifice may
  be had at Mr Nesbit’s Toy Shop Bishopsgate Street, and at his House,
  at 2s. 6d. the box.

The conjunction of practices seems somewhat odd, and, as many may think,
rather ominous--for the patients. But Mr Patence evidently flourished,
and found plenty money to spend in advertisements. He promises much, but
his strong point is secrecy. Advice is as usual offered gratis, which
was a fair charge for it, considering that the applicant was sure to be
advised to buy some of the nostrums purveyed by Patence. By his skill he
repeatedly offers to stand or fall, and about the date we have given he
publishes the following as evidence of it. It will be noticed that the
address has been shifted, possibly on account of increased business:--

  No. 3 _Ludgate Hill_.

  THIS Week a Lady applied to Mr. _Patence_, No. 3 Ludgate Hill, who had
  her Jaw-Bone broke by having a Tooth extracted, by another Lady, with
  a sound front Tooth in her Hand, and two others just ready to drop
  from their Sockets, by having four wretched artificial ones set in by
  another: her Teeth are all loose. By Tincture, a Gentleman with Teeth
  set in as brown as a Walnut, that never answered any End; and several
  other Persons in different Cases. Mr. _Patence_ therefore begs leave
  to add, that it is not his Intent to take away or lessen the Merit of
  any one particular Person; but how shocking it is to see Ladies and
  Gentlemen imposed on, a good set of Teeth ruined, and left at Leisure
  to lament the Loss in Pain, by Pretenders; for, of all Things
  artificial Teeth badly set in, is the most destructive of the good
  next them: but if performed in that masterly Manner that human Nature
  requires, they are a Preservation, and will answer the End which a
  humane Man would wish for, or a skilful Dentist desire.--Advice given
  daily in Cases ordinary, and extraordinary. No Cure no Pay.

After this Patence goes on merrily telling us now that his “works,
cures, and operations confirm his supremacy over every dentist in this
kingdom; also physicians, curing man, woman, and child, when not one of
them can give relief;” and then that he sells “teeth comprised of six
different enamels, warranted never to turn black.” Teeth were, however,
but small things in his practice, as he guarantees to replace “fallen
noses” and challenges all known and unknown diseases, being, as he
states, “mechanically accurated and anatomically perfect in the human
structure.” To say less, he tells us, would be “doing an act unjust to
himself, his patients, and his Maker, whose gifts are disposed of to
whom he pleases.” In the _Morning Post_ of 1775 he publishes the
following, having in the meantime once again changed his residence:--

  To the _Nobility_, _Gentry_, and Others.

  PATENCE, Surgeon by Birth, and Dentist, having had ten Years Practice,
  performs every Operation on the Teeth, Gums, &c., with superior Skill,
  and whose Cures are not excelled or even equalled by any Dentist
  whatever. And as a Confirmation of the same, please to observe the
  following:--

  October 5. A Gentleman who had lost all his Teeth, his Gums ulcerated
  and scorbutic, in five Days made a perfect Cure, fixed him in a whole
  set of natural Teeth, without Springs or any Fastening.

  October 16. A Lady whose Jaw was fractured by a Barber, her Teeth
  loose, her Gums ulcerated, attended with a running Matter, and an
  inflammation in her Cheeks, with a callous Swelling, cured without
  poulticing or cutting.

  October 20. A Lady that had lost all her upper Teeth by using Powders
  and Tinctures that are advertised to cure Everything, her Mouth
  ulcerated, and her Breath nauseous, is now delicately Clean, and
  replaced the Teeth with those that never change their Colour.

  Sunday, October 29. Perfectly relieved a Person that had lost both
  Palate and Speech; when he drank or eat it came out at his Nostrils,
  and had been in that state three Years; he had applied to Surgeons and
  several Hospitals, who deemed him incurable, and told him, one and
  all, he could have no Relief; he now speaks articulate, eats and
  drinks with Pleasure, which if any one should doubt, he can refer them
  to the Man. These, with upwards of three thousand Operations and
  Cures, have been accomplished by your humble Servant,

  M. PATENCE.

  At No. 403, in the Strand, near _Southampton Street_, London. Where
  the Teeth, though ever so foul, are made delicately white in six
  Minutes, and Medicines given for their preservation, for half a
  Guinea, any hour after ten in the Morning. Advice gratis, and profound
  Secrecy if required.

  ☞ Envy may snarl, but superior Abilities assists the Afflicted.

There must be something very ambitious about a man who, not satisfied
with being dentist and dancing-master, assumes the title of “surgeon by
birth.” It is noticeable that though Patence was born a surgeon, he did
not discover it till he had been at dentistry and dancing for some
years.[37] But in 1775 and thereabouts quacks were not very particular
as to their statements. In September 1776 the _Morning Post_ contains a
very lengthy advertisement, put forth by one Lattese, a Piedmontese,
who states that he has “by a long course of experiments discovered the
wonderful secret of procreating either sex at the joint option of the
parents. Should their desire be to have a girl, the success cannot be
warranted with absolute certainty, though the chances will be highly in
favour of such an event; but should they concur in their wishes to have
a son, they may rely that by strictly conforming to a few easy and
natural directions, they will positively have a boy.” Mr Lattese is so
satisfied with the result of his experience that he is satisfied to
await the result, and, no satisfaction, no pay. However much we may have
advanced in some directions since the days of Patence and
Lattese--though we now have railroads, steamboats, tramways, electric
telegraphs, a penny post, vote by ballot, asphalt pavement, and
good-templarism--it must be admitted that we have, in grasping at mere
bubbles, lost many true arts. Among those unfortunately forgotten must,
we are sorry to assume, be ranked those of breeding boys at will and
surgeons _à discretion_.

It is curious how anxious many of the quacks are that they shall not be
confounded with their rivals, and their addresses are often given with
wonderful exactness. Of this we will add another example, which, though
some years later than the one about Baldwin’s Gardens, is in no way less
distinct. It would seem, from many references in old newspapers, that
the term Maypole was used for a certain portion of the Strand long after
the shaft itself had been removed:--

  In the Strand, over against the Maypole, on the left Hand coming from
  Temple-Bar, at the Sign of the Golden Cross, between a Sword Cuttlers
  and a Milliner’s Shop, the Sign of the Sugar Loaf and Barber’s Pole,
  within four Doors of the Mitre Tavern: Where you may see a large Red
  coloured Lanthorn, with Eleven Candles in it; and a white Sign written
  upon with red Letters DUTCH DOCTOR, ^Licensed by his most Excellent
  Majesty^: and a long Entry with a Hatch and a Knocker on it. Where you
  may come in privately, and speak with him, and need not be ashamed, he
  having not any in his House but himself and his Family.

The sign of the Sugar-loaf and Barber’s Pole must have been unique even
in the days of signboards, when incongruity was an advantage. Signs
remind us of a noted quack of last century, Van Butchell, who painted a
wonderful inscription over the front of his house. He was a great
advertiser, too, and his effusions are found in most of the papers. When
his wife died he had her embalmed, and used to let his patients see the
body. He made her very useful as a means of publicity, one of his
notices--in the _St James’s Chronicle_ for October 1776--running thus:--

  VAN BUTCHELL (not willing to be unpleasantly circumstanced, and
  wishing to convince some good Minds they have been misinformed)
  acquaints the Curious no Stranger can see his embalmed Wife, unless
  (by a Friend or personally) introduced to himself, any Day between
  Nine and One, Sundays excepted.

Van Butchell, though he lost no opportunity of looking after the main
chance, had a mad way of conducting his business, which caused people to
regard him as quite out of the ordinary level of charlatans, and his
eccentricities in time got him a reputation for both cleverness and
conscientiousness. He lived in Mount Street, and on his house and part
of the next the following strange inscription was painted:--

                                     BY
                                HIS MAJESTY’S
  Thus, said sneaking Jack,         ROYAL      speaking like himself,
  I’ll be first; if I get my Money,            I don’t care who suffers.
                               LETTERS PATENT,
                                   MARTIN
                               VAN BUTCHELL’S
                                NEW INVENTED

                        With caustic care--and old Phim.

                                SPRING BANDS
                               AND FASTENINGS

      Sometimes in six days, and always in ten--the Fistula in Ano.

                                    FOR
                                THE APPAREL
                               AND FURNITURE
                                  July 6.
                                     OF
                    Licensed to deal in Perfumery, i.e.
                               HUMAN BEINGS
                     Hydrophobia cured in thirty days.
                                    AND
                             BRUTE CREATURES.
                          Made of Milk and Honey.

His next-door neighbour, however, thinking proper to rebuild part of his
front, obliterated half of the notice, which, as remarked, ran across
both houses. At one time Van Butchell had a famous dun horse, and having
some dispute with the stable-keeper, it was detained by the latter to
pay for his keep, and was at length sold at Tattersall’s, where, from
the character given him by Van Butchell, he brought a good price. This
affair was the occasion of a lawsuit, and caused the Doctor to add in
small gold letters as quoted, nearly at the top of his notice, the
words, “Thus said sneaking Jack,” &c. Of Van Butchell’s literary and
advertising talents, the reader will be best able to form a conclusion
after a perusal of the following specimen, taken from various newspapers
at various times:--

  Causes of Crim. Con. Also Barreness--And the King’s Evil:
  Advice--new--Guinea; come from Ten till One: for I go to none. The
  Anatomist and Sympathizer who never poisons--nor sheds human blood:
  Balm is always good.

  Corresponding--Lads--Remember Judas:--And the year 80! _Last Monday
  morning at Seven o’clock_, Doctor Merryman, _of Queen Street, Mayfair,
  presented_ Elizabeth, the wife of Martin van Butchell _with her Fifth
  fine Boy, at his_ House _in_ Mount Street, Grosvenor Square,
  and--they--all--are--well. Post Masters General for Ten Thousand
  Pounds (--We mean Gentlemen’s--Not a Penny less--) I will soon
  construct--Such Mail-Coach--Perch Bolts, as shall never break!

  Tender--hearted--Man--User of the Knife,--Would’st thou cut thy
  Wife? (--Unless two[38] were by?--Fearing she might die?--)
  Is--not--Blood--the Life? If the Empress of Russia--the Emperor
  of Germany--the King of Prussia--an Immaculate,--or the Pope
  of Rome--were sorely smitten--with bad Fistulæ and tormenting
  Piles--visited Martin to be made quite whole:--_Without
  Confinement_--_Fomentation_--_Risk_--_Infection_--_Poultice_--
  _Caustic_--_or Cutting_:--_bringing_ two per Cent. of Five Years
  Profit.--☞ Less _is_ not _his_ fee. Nor would he suffer a third person
  to be in the room. Not wanting help,--he won’t be hinder’d; by
  half-willed spies; slavish informers: nor sad alarmists. All his
  patients live: and--Jehovah--praise.

  To the Editor--of a Morning Paper--_Ego_--_Secundus_.--Of God every
  man--hath his proper gift: glory be to him--that of mine is
  healing:--(Not miraculous,--nor by Satan’s aid:)--being
  vigilant--while gay lads gamed at the Tennis Court--I found it in
  schools anatomical--Fistulæ and Piles--best my genius fit--Very broad
  is art--narrow human wit: tho’ man was complete (--As he ought to be
  with an hairy chin.)--Lovely women hate fops effeminate.--Time
  approaches when among certain men--in another
  age--beards--will--be--the--rage!

  To many I refer--for my character: each will have the grace--to write
  out his case; soon as he is well--an history tell: for the public
  good;--so save human blood: as--all--true--folk--shou’d. Sharkish
  people may--keep themselves away--_Those that use men ill--I never can
  heal; being forbidden--to cast pearls to pigs;
  lest--they--turn--and--tear. Wisdom makes dainty: patients come to me,
  with heavy guineas--between ten and one: but--I--go--to--none._

  _Mender of mankind_; in a manly way.

  _Fistulæ_--Patients--Fee--is--according--to ability! let those--who
  have much give--without grudging!--(heavy guineas--down: I don’t like
  paper;--unless--from the Bank of good Old England)--Plain folk--do
  comply--very readily: so shall--the gaudy:--or keep their complaints!
  Many--are in want of food;--and raiment, for large families.
  Such--will be made whole--just so speedily as the most wealthy; that’s
  “one right of man,” and he shall have it; while God grants me
  health!--(Philosophers--say--Mankind--are equal:--and pure
  religion--kindly--promotes--good.)--Lofty ones--read this;--then
  pause a little: down your dust--must lay; promises--won’t do; I can’t
  go away--to receive some pay from other people!

  _British_ Christian _Lads_. (“Behold--now is the day--of salvation.”
  Get understanding:--as the highest gain.--) Cease looking
  boyish:--become quite manly!--(_Girls_ are fond of _hair_:--it is
  natural.)--Let your beards grow long: that ye may be strong:--in
  mind--and in body: as were great grand dads: centuries ago; when John
  did not owe--a single penny: more--than--he--could--pay.

  _Phi_--lo--so--fie--_sirs_.--“Heaven gives a will:--then directs the
  way.” Honor your maker:--And “_Be swift to hear:
  slow_--to--_speak_:--or--_wrath_.” Leave off
  _de_forming:--each--himself--_re_form:
  wear--the--marks--of--men--_In-con-tes-ti-ble_! Jesus--did not
  shave:--for He--knew better. Had it been proper--our chins should be
  bare, would hair--be put there:--by wise
  Jehovah?--Who--made--all--things--good.

  _Sympathising_--Minds!--“Blessed are they that consider the poor.”
  Princes--Dukes--Lords--Knights--Esquires--Ladies--“Or the Lord knows
  who,” are hapless mortals!--Many do need me--to give them comfort! Am
  not I--the first--healer--(at this Day)--of bad Fistulæ?--(with--an
  handsome Beard)--like Hippocrates! The combing--I sell--one
  guinea--each hair:--(of use--to the Fair, that want fine children:--I
  can--tell them how;--it--is a secret--) Some--are
  quite--auburn;--others--silver white:--full--half quarter--long,
  growing--(day and night)--only--fifteen--months! Ye must hither
  come,--(As I go to none)--and bring--one per cent. of five years’
  profit:--that’s my settled fee; it--shall be return’d if I do not
  cure--(in a little time)--the worst Fistulæ: let who will--have
  failed! Lie telling--is bad:--sotting--makes folk sad!
  see--(Ananias)--Beginning Acts v. Pot-I-cary--bow--thy--frizz’d--mealy
  pate! “Despisers,--behold--wonder--and perish!” “God--gives grace to
  man! Glory--be to God! He--doth all things well!”

  _Fistulæ--and--Piles_, by _the_ help _of_ God--_we_ eradicate,
  _Having_ wit _enough_ to _heal_ those _complaints_, my _small_ fee
  _must_ be--_twelve_ heavy _guineas_: large _six_ score _thousand_: We
  _mean_ 2 _pr_ cent. _on_ five _years_ profit--_put_ it _in_ rouleaus
  _of_ an _hundred_ each.--_Come_ from _ten_ till
  _one_:--for--_I_--go--_to_--none.

No one, after reading these extracts, will be inclined to doubt that Van
Butchell was an original. His notoriety was such that many used to visit
his house, not so much for the purpose of receiving advice as to see and
converse with him. The success which he and contemporary quacks made
led to the tax on “patent medicines,” which was imposed in 1783, and has
now for over ninety years been a fruitful source of revenue. Of Van
Butchell’s contemporaries, one of the most worthy of note was
Katerfelto, of whom Cowper speaks in “The Task”--

    And Katerfelto, with his hair an end
    At his own wonders, wondering for his bread.

Katerfelto was a foreigner who had “seen service,” and according to his
own showing was both brave and learned. A notice of him which appears in
an article on quacks says: “In a pamphlet on quackery, published at
Kingston-upon-Hull, in 1805, it is stated that Dr Katerfelto practised
on the people of London in the influenza of 1782; that he added to his
nostrums the fascinations of hocus-pocus; and that with the services of
some extraordinary _black cats_ he astonished the vulgar. In 1790, or
1791, he visited the city of Durham, accompanied by his wife and
daughter. His travelling equipage consisted of an old rumbling coach,
drawn by a pair of sorry hacks; and his two black servants wore green
liveries with red collars. They were sent round the town, blowing
trumpets and delivering bills of their master’s performances. These
were--in the daytime, a microscope; in the evening, electrical
experiments, in which the black cats--‘the doctor’s devils’--played
their parts in yielding electric sparks; tricks of legerdemain concluded
the entertainments. He was a tall, thin man, dressed in a black gown and
square cap; he is said to have been originally a soldier in the Prussian
service. In one of his advertisements he states that he was a colonel in
the ‘Death’s Head’ regiment of hussars, a terrific prognostic of his
ultimate profession. He had many mishaps in his conjuring career; once
he sent up a fire balloon, which, falling upon a hay-stack, set it on
fire, and it was consumed, when Katerfelto was sued for its value, and
was sent to prison in default of payment. And not long before his
death, he was committed by the Mayor of Shrewsbury to the House of
Correction in that city as a vagrant and impostor. Katerfelto mixed up
with his quackery some real science, and by the aid of the solar
microscope astonished the world with insect wonders. In one of his
advertisements in the _Morning Post_, of July 1782, he says that, by its
aid, the insects on the hedges will be seen larger than ever, and those
insects which caused the late influenza will be seen as large as a bird;
and in a drop of water the size of a pin’s head there will be seen above
50,000 insects; the same in beer, milk, vinegar, blood, flour, cheese,
etc., etc., and there will be seen many surprising indifferent
vegetables, and above 200 other dead objects. He obtained good prices
for his show:--‘The admittance to see these wonderful works of
Providence is only--front seats, three shillings; second seats, two
shillings; and back seats, one shilling only, from eight o’clock in the
morning till six in the afternoon, at No. 22 Piccadilly.’ He fully
understood the advantages of puffing, and one of his advertisements
commences with a story of ‘a gentleman of the faculty belonging to
Oxford University, who, finding it likely to prove a fine day, set out
for London purposely to see those great wonders which are advertised so
much by that famous philosopher, Mr Katerfelto;’ that the said gentleman
declared, ‘if he had come three hundred miles on purpose, the knowledge
he had then received would amply reward him; and that he should not
wonder that some of the nobility should come from the remotest part of
Scotland to hear Mr Katerfelto, as the people of that country in
particular are always searching after knowledge.’ He elsewhere declares
himself ‘the greatest philosopher in this kingdom since Sir Isaac
Newton.’ ‘And Mr Katerfelto, as a divine and moral philosopher, begs
leave to say that all persons on earth live in darkness, if they are
able to see, but will not see his wonderful exhibition.’” Katerfelto,
who had been in trouble both in his own country and in France, showed an
aptitude for distinguishing himself in a similar way here, not only in
the ways we have already quoted, but with regard to impositions
practised on the confiding. He obtained £2000 from a Captain Paterson,
but had to return it. This he afterwards referred to as instance of his
generosity and love of honesty, and his admiration for this country is
shown by his avowed desire to stay in it, “though unpensioned,
notwithstanding the many offers from the Queen of France, the request of
his friend and correspondent Dr Franklin, and the positive commands of
his liege lord the King of Prussia.”

Mention of the Queen of France reminds us of another impostor, perhaps
the greatest in his way that ever lived, Joseph Balsamo. As, however, he
had little or nothing to do with advertising, and as he has already
afforded work for many able and vigorous pens, we will be content to
quote a few lines from Carlyle regarding the arch-quack’s description
and personal appearance: “The quack of quacks, the most perfect
scoundrel that in these latter ages has marked the world’s history, we
have found in the Count Alessandro di Cagliostro, pupil of the sage
Althotas, foster child of the Scherif of Mecca, probably son of the last
king of Trebizonde; named also Acharat, and unfortunate child of nature;
by profession healer of diseases, abolisher of wrinkles, friend of the
poor and impotent, grand-master of the Egyptian mason-lodge of high
science, spirit-summoner, gold-cook, grand cophta, prophet, priest, and
thaumaturgic moralist and swindler; really a liar of the first
magnitude, thorough-paced in all provinces of lying, what one may call
the king of liars. . . . One of the most authentic documents preserved
of Joseph Balsamo is the picture of his visage. An effigy once
universally diffused in oil paint, aquatint, marble, stucco, and perhaps
gingerbread, decorating millions of apartments. Fittest of visitors,
worthy to be worn by the quack of quacks! A most portentous face of
scoundrelism: a fat, snub, abominable face; dew-lapped, flat-nosed,
greasy, full of greediness, sensuality, ox-like obstinacy; a forehead
impudent, refusing to be ashamed; and then two eyes turned up
seraphically languishing, as if in divine contemplation and adoration; a
touch of quiz, too; on the whole, perhaps the most perfect quack-face
produced by the eighteenth century.” The subject of this flattering
portrait was born in 1743, and died in the fortress of St Leo, Rome,
after an imprisonment of six years, aged fifty-two.

The system of showing on oneself the effect of one’s own specifics has
had many admirers and practisers. A Mrs Harden, in Newman Street, Oxford
Street, used to advertise some years ago a hair-dye, the effect of which
was to be seen on her own hair at her private residence, or at ladies’
own residences if preferred. In a similar manner a quack in the time of
King Charles II. commenced his handbill with this statement: “Salvator
Winter, an Italian of the city of Naples, aged 98 years, yet by the
blessing of God, finds himself in health and as strong as any one of
fifty, as to the sensitive part. Which first he attributes to God, and
then to his _Elixir Vitæ_, which he always carries in his pocket adayes,
and at night under his pillow. And when he finds himself distempered he
taketh a spoonful or two, according as need requireth.” He then goes on
to state that people should call and see its effect on him, and purchase
so as to ensure health.

A most original, unique, and successful humbug, quite worthy of mention
here, though not a dealer in medicines, was the late Monsieur Mangin of
Paris. While passing through the public streets, there was nothing in
his personal appearance to distinguish him from any ordinary gentleman.
He drove a pair of bay horses, attached to an open carriage with two
seats, the back one always occupied by his valet. Sometimes he would
take up his stand in the Champs Elysées; at other times near the column
in the Place Vendôme; but usually he was seen in the afternoon in the
Place de la Bastille, or the Place de la Madeleine. On Sundays his
favourite locality was the Place de la Bourse. Mangin was a
well-formed, stately-looking individual, with a most self-satisfied
countenance, which seemed to say, “I am master here; and all that my
auditors have to do is, to listen and obey.” Arriving at his destined
stopping-place, his carriage halted. His servant handed him a case from
which he took several large portraits of himself, which he hung
prominently upon the sides of his carriage, and also placed in front of
him a vase filled with medals bearing his likeness on one side, and a
description of the blacklead pencils in which he traded on the other. He
then leisurely commenced a change of costume. His round hat was replaced
by a magnificent burnished helmet, mounted with rich plumes of various
brilliant colours. His overcoat was laid aside, and he donned in its
stead a costly velvet tunic with gold fringes. He then drew a pair of
polished steel gauntlets upon his hands, covered his breast with a
brilliant cuirass, and placed a richly-mounted sword at his side. His
servant watched him closely, and upon receiving a sign from his master
he too put on his official costume, which consisted of a velvet robe and
a helmet. The servant then struck up a tune on the richly-toned organ
which always formed a part of Mangin’s apparatus. The grotesque
appearance of these individuals, and the music, soon drew together an
admiring crowd. Then the charlatan stood up. His manner was calm,
dignified, imposing, indeed, almost solemn, for his face was as serious
as that of the chief mourner at a funeral. His sharp, intelligent eye
scrutinised the throng which was pressing around his carriage, until it
rested apparently upon some particular individual, then he gave a start;
then, with a dark, angry expression, as if the sight was repulsive, he
abruptly dropped the visor of his helmet and thus covered his face from
the gaze of the anxious crowd. Thus far he had not spoken a word. At
last the prelude ended, and the comedy commenced. Stepping forward again
to the front of the carriage, he exclaimed--“Gentlemen, you look
astonished! You seem to wonder and ask yourselves, who is this modern
Quixote? What mean this costume of bygone centuries--this golden
chariot--these richly-caparisoned steeds? What is the name, what the
purpose of this curious knight-errant? Gentlemen, I will condescend to
answer your queries. I am Monsieur Mangin, the great charlatan of
France! Yes, gentlemen, I am a charlatan--a mountebank; it is my
profession, not from choice, but from necessity. You, gentlemen, created
that necessity! You would not patronise true, unpretending, honest
merit, but you are attracted by my glittering casque, my sweeping crest,
my waving plumes. You are captivated by din and glitter, and therein
lies my strength. Years ago I hired a modest shop in the Rue Rivoli, but
I could not sell pencils enough to pay my rent, whereas, by assuming
this disguise--it is nothing else--I have succeeded in attracting
general attention, and in selling literally millions of my pencils; and
I assure you, there is at this moment scarcely an artist in France or in
Great Britain who does not know that I manufacture by far the best
blacklead pencils ever seen.” And Mangin so far differed from other
mountebanks in the fact that his wares were everywhere said to be
superior to any others.

Speaking of Mangin reminds us of another French itinerant who forms the
central figure of a rather amusing story. In July 1817 a man of imposing
figure, wearing a large sabre and immense moustache, arrived at one of
the principal inns of a provincial city in France, with a female of
agreeable shape and enchanting mien. He alighted at the moment the
dinner was being served up at the _table d’hôte_. His martial appearance
and bearing caused all the guests to rise with respect; they felt
assured he must be a lieutenant-general or a major-general at least. A
new governor was expected in the province about this time, and everybody
believed that it was he who had arrived incognito. The officer of _gens
d’armes_ gave him the place of honour, the comptroller of the customs
and the receiver of taxes sat each by the side of madame, and exerted
their wit and gallantry to the utmost. All the tit-bits, all the most
exquisite wines, were placed before the fortunate couple. At length the
party broke up, and every one ran to report through the city that M. le
Gouverneur had arrived. But, oh, what was their surprise, when the next
day his Excellency, clad in a scarlet coat, and his august companion,
dressed out in a gown glittering with tinsel, mounted a small open
calash, and preceded by some musicians, went about the squares and
public ways selling Swiss tea and balm of Mecca! Imagine the fury of the
guests! They complained to the _maire_, and demanded that the audacious
quack should be compelled to lay aside the characteristic mark of the
brave. The prudent magistrate assembled the common council; and those
respectable persons, after a long deliberation, considering that nothing
in the charter forbad a citizen to let his beard grow on his upper lip,
dismissed the complaint altogether. The same evening the supposed
governor gave a serenade to the offended diners, and the next day took
his leave, and continued his journey amid the acclamations of the
populace.

It would be interesting to know what quack--for a quack it certainly
must have been--was first responsible for the belief that a child’s caul
would save a man from drowning. The origin of this fiction is, however,
hidden under the dust of ages. It is customary for people who assume
what they wish to believe, to state that the superstition went out when
education came in; but that such is not the case a perusal of the
advertisement sheets of current journals will show. Here is a rather
curious specimen of a generation ago:--

  A CHILD’S CAUL to be disposed of, particularly recommended to persons
  going to the Continent on pleasure or business, officers in his
  Majesty’s navy, merchants trading to the East and West Indies, and all
  other parts of the globe, being exposed to the dangers of the seas,
  having the caul in their possession their life will most assuredly
  always be preserved. Address by letter only, prepaid, to Mr W., Temple
  Chambers, Falcon Court, Fleet Street.

It must be admitted that the demand for these extremely portable
life-preservers has quite gone so far as advertisements are concerned,
all that we have seen of modern years being in reference to cauls that
the owners wished to part with. When these preventives were fully
believed in, an ancient mariner must have been as much surprised as
afraid when he went down to the bottom. Captain Marryat tells a rather
funny story of a pair of canvas inexpressibles that refused to sink
because they had a caul in one of the pockets; and in the days of Howe,
Collingwood, and Nelson, a rare trade was driven in cauls, real and
imitation, which then fetched fancy prices.

The motives will be apparent which prevent our entering on the merits
and demerits of quacks and quack medicines of the present day. Some of
the latter are doubtless concocted with skill, and, under peculiar
circumstances, are productive of much good, while others are quite the
reverse in all particulars. Into this subject we cannot go, as we have
no wish to advertise any one nostrum at the expense of another, or to
subject ourselves to the expense and unpleasantness which too often
attends on outspokenness. We shall rest content with the facts that the
most impudent empirics confine themselves to “certain diseases” and
hole-and-corner advertisements, and that analytical chemists and
comparatively recent legislation have provided for us remedies for any
excess on the part of the patent-medicine manufacturers, any one of whom
a single false step would irretrievably ruin. Besides, the curious need
look no further than the current newspapers for any quantity of average
specimens.

       *       *       *       *       *

Graham and his Celestial Bed are worthy of a chapter to themselves,
especially as we have already run to such length on the subject of
quacks and quackery.

  [37] After all Patence was only an imitator in this particular. In the
  _Gentleman’s Magazine_ of 1735, there is a reference to the “Unborn
  Doctor of Moorfields,” who flourished very early in the eighteenth
  century. This man upon being asked to explain his mysterious title,
  replied, “Why, I wasn’t born a doctor, was I?”

  [38] This refers to the regular mode of eminent Surgeons, who seldom
  cut for Fistulæ or Piles, but in the presence of their assistants:
  because some patients have died under the operation, and others some
  days after.




CHAPTER XV.

_GRAHAM AND HIS CELESTIAL BED._


In the year 1775 there commenced practice in London one of the most
extraordinary empirics of any time, whose name was Graham. He was the
son of a saddler in the Cowgate, Edinburgh, where he was born in 1745.
Having graduated as a doctor of medicine at the University of the modern
Athens, he practised for some time at Pontefract. After a short
residence in that town, Dr Graham went to America, where he figured as a
philanthropic physician, travelling for the benefit of mankind, to
administer relief in the most desperate diseases to patients whose cases
had hitherto puzzled ordinary physicians. And here he picked up a deal
of experience, which he put to the test on his return. Having the
advantage of a handsome person, a polite address, an agreeable
conversation, and great fluency of speech, he obtained admission into
the first circles, particularly in New England, where, as he himself
stated, he reaped “golden opinions.” Returning to England, he made an
excursion through the country, and according to his own account, was
eminently successful in curing many individuals whose cases had been
considered desperate. In 1775 Graham settled in London, opening a house
in Pall Mall, “nearly opposite the King’s Palace,” where he devoted his
attention specially to disorders of the ear and eye, and inserted
advertisements to that effect in the daily papers. These advertisements,
though by no means couched in so bombastic a style as Graham’s later
productions, still have an undeniable spice of quackery about them.
They are, however, rather too lengthy for insertion. One of them which
appeared on February 9, 1776, after stating that from motives of
delicacy the Doctor made it an invariable rule never on any account to
mention the cure, however extraordinary, of any person, poor or rich,
gives the following particulars of his practice:--

  Dr Graham began to practise in London, Feb. 1, 1775, and the following
  is the general state of his Practice in disorders of the Eye and Ear:
  from that time to November 1, being a period of nine Months, cures or
  relieved 281; refused as incurable on their first Application, 317;
  after a short Trial (by desire) found incurable 47; dismissed for
  Neglect, etc. 57; country, foreign, and other Patients, events
  unknown, 381.

After residing in London for some time, he visited Scotland, and was
employed by people of the first quality, who were tempted to put
themselves under his care by the fascination of his manner and the fame
of his wondrous cures. So popular was he that he might have settled in
Edinburgh to great advantage, but he preferred returning to England. He
fixed his abode in London, where he set on foot one of the most original
and extravagant institutions that could well be imagined, the object of
which was, according to the _ipsissima verba_ of one of the Doctor’s
advertisements, “the propagation of a much more strong, beautiful,
active, healthy, wise, and virtuous race of human beings, than the
present puny, insignificant, foolish, peevish, vicious, and nonsensical
race of Christians, who quarrel, fight, bite, devour, and cut one
another’s throat about they know not what.” The idea was original and
singular in the highest degree; but he founded his hopes on a perfect
knowledge of human nature, and the success which attended his experiment
proved that he had calculated with judgment. It has been assumed by some
that he really believed in his own statements. That must have been the
result of repeating them so often, and in this particular he was by no
means singular. In May 1779 he opened what he called “The Temple of
Health” in the Adelphi, the purposes of which may be best understood
from one of his advertisements which appeared in the _Morning Herald_
and other newspapers pretty constantly between 1778 and 1781:--

  TEMPLE OF HEALTH, Adelphi.

  To their Excellencies the Foreign Ambassadors, to the Nobility,
  Gentry, and to Persons of Learning and of Taste.

  By Particular Desire, the Exhibitions at the TEMPLE of HEALTH will be
  continued as usual every TUESDAY, THURSDAY, and SATURDAY Evenings,
  till the TEMPLE of HYMEN be opened, which will be announced in the
  Public Papers.

  THE CELESTIAL BRILLIANCY of the Medico-Electrical Apparatus in all the
  apartments of the Temple, will be exhibited

  By Dr. GRAHAM himself

  Who will have the honour of explaining the true Nature and Effects of
  Electricity, Air, Music, and Magnetism when applied to the Human Body.

  In the Introductory Oration, the whole Art of enjoying Health and
  vigour of Body and of Mind, and of preserving and exalting personal
  beauty and loveliness; or in other words of living with Health,
  Honour, and Happiness, in this world for at least an hundred years, is
  pointed out and warmly inculcated. Previous to the display of the
  Electrical Fire, the Doctor will delicately touch upon the CELESTIAL
  BEDS which are soon to be opened in the Temple of Hymen, in Pall Mall,
  for the propagation of Beings, rational and far stronger and more
  beautiful in mental as well as in bodily Endowments, than the present
  puny, feeble and nonsensical race of Christians--probationary
  immortals, which crawl and fret, and cut one anothers throat for
  nothing at all, on most parts of this terraqueous globe.

  This Apparatus which visibly displays, as it were, the various
  facilities of the material Soul of universal and eternal Nature, is
  acknowledged by all who have seen it, to be by far the largest, most
  useful and most magnificent that now is or that ever was in the world.
  Admittance 5s.

  But in order that Persons of every Rank may have a View of this most
  magnificent Apparatus, the Temple of Health may be viewed every Day
  this Week, from two o’Clock in the Afternoon till eight at Night.
  Admittance 1s.

  _N.B._--A Pamphlet is now published, (by permission) with the
  particulars of several hundred Cures in confirmed Diseases, lately
  performed at the Temple of Health, with the Names and Residence of the
  Patients, at their own particular Desire, to be had of the Porter at
  the Temple, price only 3d.

As a further attraction to his establishment, Graham secured the
services of a beautiful young woman, whom he styled “Vestina, the Rosy
Goddess of Health,” who presided over the evening lectures, and,
according to the advertisements, assisted “at the display of the
Celestial Meteors, and of that sacred Vital Fire over which she watches,
and whose application in the cure of diseases, she daily has the honour
of directing.” The lady who acted this part subsequently became
notorious as the wife of Sir William Hamilton, ambassador to the Court
of Naples. Her name was Emma Hart, and before she was raised to the
dignity of Goddess of Health, she had officiated in the more humble
capacity of nursery and lady’s maid in gentlemen’s families. Eventually,
after having sat as model to Romney and other painters, and having lived
under the protection of different gentlemen, she was finally married in
1791 at St George’s, Hanover Square, to Sir William Hamilton. Her
subsequent connection with Lord Nelson, and her power over that great
naval hero but weak human being, as well as the humiliating positions in
which she placed her dotard of a husband, form part of the history of
this country.

In another of his advertisements Graham offers to explain “the whole art
of enjoying health and vigour of body and mind, and of preserving and
exalting personal beauty and loveliness; or, in other words, of living
with health, honour, and happiness in this world, for at least a hundred
years.” One of the means for ensuring this end was the constant use of
mud baths; and that the Doctor might be observed to practise what he
preached, he was to be seen, on stated occasions, immersed in mud to the
chin, accompanied by Vestina, who had only then recently left off
nursing children and attending on ladies. Her beauty attracted general
attention, and brought Graham a deal of practice. While she remained in
the mud bath, she had her hair elaborately dressed in the prevailing
fashion, with powder, flowers, feathers, and ropes of pearls; Graham
appearing in an equally elaborate wig.

In the spring of 1781 the Temple of Health was removed to Schomberg
House (now the Ordnance Office), Pall Mall, and the “Temple of Hymen”
and “Celestial Bed” were exhibited to the gaze of the profane and the
curious. Altogether the establishment was of a very extraordinary
description. The front was ornamented with an enormous gilt sun, a
statue of Hygieia, and other attractive emblems; the suites of rooms
were superbly furnished, and the walls decorated with mirrors, so as to
confer on the place an effect like that of an enchanted palace. All the
exertions of the painter and sculptor, all the enchantments of vocal and
instrumental music, all the powers of electricity and magnetism, were
called into operation to enliven and heighten the scene. In a word, all
that could delight the eye or ravish the ear, all that could please the
smell, give poignancy to the taste, or gratify the touch, were combined
to give effect to the whole--at least such was his own account. As a
further means of attraction, he hired two men of extraordinary stature,
two sons of Anak, whom he appareled in showy and startling liveries, and
each of whom wore an enormous cocked-hat, whose business it was to
distribute bills from house to house through the town. These handbills
were curiously suggestive of the wonderful Doctor’s general bombastic
style. Here is one of them:--

  _Temple of Health and of Hymen. Pall Mall._

  THE LECTURE at the above place having been received by very numerous,
  polite and brilliant audiences of Ladies and Gentlemen with unbounded
  applause, it will be repeated This and every Evening this Week; and
  precisely at 8 o’clock the Gentleman Usher of the Rosy Rod, assisted
  by the High Priestess, will conduct the rosy, the gigantic, the
  stupendous Goddess of Health to the Celestial Throne.

  The blooming PRIESTESS of the TEMPLE will endeavour to entertain
  Ladies and Gentlemen of candour and good nature, by reading a Lecture
  on the simplest and most efficacious means of preserving health,
  beauty, and personal loveliness, and serene mental brilliancy, even to
  the extremest old age.

  VESTINA, the GIGANTIC! on the Celestial Throne, as the Goddess of
  Health, will exhibit in her own person, a proof of the all-blessing
  effects of virtue, temperance, regularity, simplicity, and moderation;
  and in these luxurious, artificial, and effeminate times, to recommend
  those great virtues.

  The Temple (which exhibits more riches, more elegance, and more
  brilliancy than any royal Palace in the world) will as usual be
  sweetly illuminated with wax, in the highest, most dazzling, and most
  celestial magnificence from 7 till 10 o’clock, This evening and every
  Evening this week, and the Lecture will begin precisely at eight. Both
  before and after the Lecture, one of Vestina’s Fairy Train will warble
  forth sweet celestial sounds.--_Admittance only_ ONE SHILLING.

  The magnificent Electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and
  _unique_ decorations of this magical Edifice--of this enchanting
  Elysian Palace! where wit and mirth, love and beauty--all that can
  delight the soul, and all that can ravish the senses, will hold their
  court, This and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous
  assemblage.

  ⁂ Ladies of rank and character are assured, that nothing will be said
  or seen, which can give even the smallest offence to the chastest and
  most delicate female eye or ear, and that every thing will be
  conducted with the most perfect decency and decorum.--Ladies are
  requested to come early, in order that they may be agreeably
  accommodated with seats.

  ⁂ A very few copies still remaining of Dr. Graham’s Private Advisers
  (_sealed up, price One Guinea_) to those Ladies and Gentlemen who wish
  to have children, or to become snowy pillars of Health and Beauty,
  studded as it were with roses, and streaked with celestial blue, may
  now be had at only Half a Guinea; his other curious and eccentric
  works, containing full descriptions of his Travels, Discoveries,
  Improvements, Principles, Cures, Electrical Apparatus, etc.--formerly
  3s. 6d., now only 1s. 9d., and VESTINA, the rosy Goddess’s warm
  Lecture, price 2s. 6d.

  ☞ All Dr. Graham’s Medicines to be had as usual, at the Temple of
  Health.

  Note. Ladies and Gentlemen Electrified.

All went well for a time, and the Temple was nightly crowded with silly
people who paid their half-guineas, for the shilling of the
advertisements only just admitted to the “body of the hall.” Sometimes
there were magnificent illuminations and Elysian promenades for both
ladies and gentlemen, to which persons in masks were also admitted. “The
enchanting glory of these seemingly magical scenes,” said the
advertisements, “will break forth about seven, and die away about ten
o’clock; during which time Oriental odours and ætherial essences will
perfume the air, while the hymænal sopha blazes forth with the plenitude
of the soft lambent celestial fire.” Having opened such scenes to the
eyes of the wondering world, the Doctor thus addresses his
contemporaries in another advertisement:--

  TEMPLE OF HEALTH AND HYMEN,
  PALL MALL,
  _Near the King’s Palace._

  IF there be one human Being, rich or poor, Male or Female, or of the
  doubtful Gender, in or near this great Metropolis of the World, who
  has not had the good Fortune and the Happiness of hearing the
  celebrated Lecture, and of seeing the grand celestial Bed, the
  magnificent electrical Apparatus, and the supremely brilliant and
  unique Decorations of this magical Edifice, of this enchanting Elysian
  Palace!--where Wit and Mirth, Love and Beauty--all that can delight
  the Soul and all that can ravish the Senses--will hold their Court,
  this, and every Evening this week, in chaste and joyous
  Assemblage--let them now come forth, or for ever afterwards let them
  blame themselves and bewail their irremediable Misfortune.

But the most important feature of Dr Graham’s establishment was the
Celestial Bed. This wonder-working piece of furniture was made by one
Denton,[39] a tinman, who lived in Coventry Street, and subsequently
kept a bookseller’s shop in High Holborn, and it was said to have cost
£12,000. It was beautifully carved and gilt, covered with silk damask,
supported by twenty-eight glass pillars, and surmounted by a richly
carved and gilt canopy, from which crimson silk curtains with fringe and
tassels were suspended. Graham pretended that married couples without
children might have heirs by sleeping in this bed, for which privilege
he demanded one hundred pounds per night; and such is the folly of
wealth, that persons of high rank were named who had acceded to these
terms. This modern Æsculapius sold also for half a guinea a “Treatise on
Health,” which was intended to render marriages happy, and entered into
full particulars of the means to ensure this great and important object.
After a long list of preliminary and necessary preparations, the
principal of which was the utmost attention to cleanliness, the writer
insisted on certain regulations. He recommended particularly the
practice of early hours for rising and for retiring to rest. He advised
that in bed-chambers the light, especially that of the moon, should not
be excluded by curtains. He confessed he could give no sufficient reason
for this predilection for the lunar rays, but observed that there are a
thousand things in nature which exist without our being able to explain
the reasons of their existence. He also advised married people to sing
sometimes. “Music,” said he, “softens the mind of a happy couple, makes
them all love, all harmony; their bodies, their souls unite, their
existence is melted into a single being, which yields itself up with
rapture to divine transports, and loses itself in an Elysium of bliss.
In this state, this incessantly progressive enjoyment, the happy couple
imagine themselves raised above this world, and become inhabitants of a
superior region.” Thus he continued, till coming at last to the
principal part of his discourse: “When the preliminary regimen which I
have just described has been scrupulously observed and followed, and a
new vigour has been acquired by drinking of the divine balm, which for
the benefit of the human race, I have concocted with my own hand, and
which, however, costs only a guinea a bottle, and when all these means
have not proved sufficient for arriving at the end proposed, the last
must then be absolutely applied to, that most extraordinary expedient
which I alone possess, and which cannot fail. This agent is a most
marvellous celestial bed, which I call magnetico-electric; it is the
first, the only one in the world, or that ever existed. It is placed on
the second floor, in a large and elegant hall, on the right hand of my
orchestra, and immediately before my charming hermitage. In a
neighbouring closet is placed a cylinder by which I communicate the
celestial fire to the bed-chamber, that fluid which animates and
vivifies all, and those cherishing vapours and Oriental perfumes, which
I convey thither by means of tubes of glass. The celestial bed rests on
six massy and transparent columns; coverings of purple, and curtains of
celestial blue surround it, and the bed-clothes are perfumed with the
most costly essences of Arabia: it is exactly similar to those that
adorn the palaces in Persia, and to that of the favourite sultana in the
seraglio of the Grand Turk. This bed is the fruit of the most laborious
industry, and of the most indefatigable zeal. I will not mention the
sums it has cost me: they are immense. I shall only add that I have
omitted none of those precautions which decency and delicacy have a
right to exact. Neither I, nor any of my people, are entitled to ask who
are the persons that rest in this chamber, which I have denominated the
Holy of Holies. This bed is never shown to those who come only to view
the accessory parts. This precaution is as proper as it is delicate; for
is there a being frigid enough to resist the influence of that pleasure,
of those transports which this enchanting place inspires? It furnishes
the grossest imagination with the means of refining its enjoyments, of
multiplying its pleasures, and of carrying them to their highest degree.
But the consequences are cruel; such dangerous refinements on the
pleasures of the senses abridge the period of life, and relax the
springs both of body and mind. Persons, however, who would penetrate to
this throne of pleasure, are intreated to signify their desire to me in
writing, and having appointed the night, and enclosed a bank-bill for
fifty pounds, I shall furnish them with an admission ticket.”
Ultimately, as the demand decreased, the price was reduced to
twenty-five pounds, and it is said that even less was at times taken.

It is not to be supposed that Graham’s contemporaries, except the
weakest and most idiotic, believed in the marvellous effects attributed
to this bed, or supposed that the Doctor had any motive in making his
statements other than those which generally actuate quacks, and lead
them into exaggerations. He and certain rich voluptuaries worked very
well together with regard to this couch, as may be gathered from various
satirical allusions in newspapers of the time, caricatures, &c. It is
certain that spendthrifts and men of pleasure were the most profitable
customers of the great empiric. The more the “Holy of Holies” began to
be visited, the more did Graham add to the luxury and magnificence of
the place; but in the month of March 1784 the farce was played out, the
Temple of Health was shut, and all the furniture and apparatus put up
for public sale. All the paraphernalia which had cost so much money, and
with which he was identified--the superb temple of Apollo, the immense
electrical machine, the instruments of music which played incessantly,
and even the famous celestial bed itself--all fell in one common ruin
under the ruthless hammer of the auctioneer.

In a note which serves as a supplement to the description of the
Celestial Bed, the Doctor adds: “Nothing is more surprising than the
truly divine energy of this celestial and electric fire, which fills
every part of the bed, as well as the magnetic fluid, both of them
calculated to give the necessary degree of strength and exertion to the
nerves. Besides the melodious tones of the harmonica, the soft sounds of
a flute, the charms of an agreeable voice, and the harmonious notes of
the organ, being all joined, how can the power and virtue of such a
happy conjunction fail in raising sentiments of admiration and pleasure
in the soul of the philosopher, and even of the physician?”

According to the advertisements, the descriptive exhibition of the
apparatus in the daytime was conducted by an “officiating junior
priest.” This office was filled by a young medical man named Mitford,
afterwards well known as, among other things, father of the celebrated
authoress. Graham’s expenses were very heavy, and when after a time his
advertisements failed to draw he fell into poverty, and it is said died
in very straitened circumstances near Glasgow.

  [39] This Denton was a man of great mechanical skill, who made some
  very curious automaton figures. He was afterwards tried for coining,
  and acquitted on that charge, but was found guilty on a second count
  of having implements of coining in his possession. For this crime he
  was executed at Tyburn, on which occasion Dr Graham was present.




CHAPTER XVI.

_LOTTERIES AND LOTTERY INSURANCES._


There have been few things which in their time have had more intimate
connection with advertising than Lotteries. In fact almost all we can
now discover about them is by means of the notices which were published
before and after a drawing, as the system of picturesque descriptive
writing now applied to everything had not come into fashion during the
existence of this legalised species of gambling, which was for
generations most ruinous and demoralising in its effects, but which was
continued mainly because it added to the revenue, and perhaps because it
was considered unfair to stop the speculation of the people while gaming
under so many forms and in so many varieties was indulged in by the
higher classes. In these days the Legislature has got over any such
squeamish feelings--even if it ever possessed them--for though gambling
is carried on to as great lengths as ever under certain forms, though
within the past few years great scandals have leaked out from clubs and
private hells, and though on the turf many noble names have been dragged
through the mire, the rank and file of the community are rigidly guarded
from any chance of giving way to the temptations of gambling, either by
means of the racehorse or the milder forms of speculation which up till
recently were allowed in public-houses, and are very properly compelled
to be virtuous whether they like it or no.

The origin of lotteries is involved in obscurity, but it is generally
believed that the first of them was held in Italy early in the
sixteenth century, and that in due course the plan found favour over
here, and was gradually taken up by the State. From 1569 down to 1826
(except for a short time following upon an Act of the reign of Anne)
lotteries continued to be a source of revenue to the English Government.
Some interesting particulars are given by Hone and Chambers, the latter
of whom says: “It seems strange that so glaringly immoral a project
should have been kept up with such sanction so long. The younger people
of the present day may be at a loss to believe that, in the days of
their fathers, there were large and imposing offices in London, and
pretentious agencies in the provinces, for the sale of lottery tickets;
while flaming advertisements on walls, in new books, and in public
journals, proclaimed the preferableness of such and such ‘lucky’
offices--this one having sold two-sixteenths of the last
twenty-thousand-pounds prize; that one a half of the same; another
having sold an entire thirty-thousand-pound ticket the year before; and
so on. It was found possible to persuade the public, or a portion of it,
that where a blessing had once lighted it was the more likely to light
again. The State lottery was framed on the simple principle, that the
State held forth a certain sum to be repaid by a larger. The transaction
was usually managed thus. The Government gave £10 in prizes for every
share taken on an average. A great many blanks or of prizes under £10,
left, of course, a surplus for the creation of a few magnificent prizes
wherewith to attract the unwary public. Certain firms in the City, known
as lottery-office keepers, contracted for the lottery, each taking a
certain number of shares; the sum paid by them was always more than £10
per share; and the excess constituted the Government profit. It was
customary, for many years, for the contractors to give about £16 to the
Government, and then to charge the public from £20 to £22. It was made
lawful for the contractors to divide the shares into halves, quarters,
eighths, and sixteenths; and the contractors always charged relatively
more for these aliquot parts. A man with thirty shillings to spare could
buy a sixteenth; and the contractors made a large portion of their
profit out of such customers. The Government sometimes paid the prizes
in terminable annuities instead of cash; and the loan system and the
lottery system were occasionally combined in a very odd way. Thus in
1780, every subscriber of £1000 towards a loan of £12,000,000, at four
per cent., received a bonus of four lottery tickets, the value of each
of which was £10, and any one of which might be the fortunate number for
a twenty or thirty thousand pounds prize. Among the lottery offices, the
competition for business was intense. One firm, finding an old woman in
the country named Goodluck, gave her £50 a year on condition that she
would join them as a nominal partner, for the sake of the attractive
effect of her name. In their advertisements each was sedulous to tell
how many of the grand prizes had in former years fallen to the lot of
persons who had bought at his shop. Woodcuts and copies of verses were
abundant, suited to attract the uneducated.”

The first lottery in this country, so far as is known, took place in
1569. Dr Rawlinson, a distinguished antiquary of the last century,
produced before the Antiquarian Society in 1748 the following:--

  A Proposal for a very rich Lottery, general without any Blankes,
  contayning a great N^{o} of good prices, as well of redy money as of
  Plate and certain sorts of Merchandizes, having been valued and prised
  by the Commandment of the Queenes most excellent Majesties order, to
  the extent that such Commodities as may chance to arise thereof, after
  the charges borne, may be converted towards the reparations of the
  Havens and Strength of the realme, and towards such other public good
  workes. The N^{o} of lotts shall be foure hundred thousand, and no
  more; and every lott shall be the summe of tenne shillings sterling
  only, and no more. To be filled by the feast of St Bartholomew. The
  shew of Prises ar to be seen in Cheapside, at the sign of the Queenes
  armes, the house of Mr. Dericke, Goldsmith, Servant to the Queen.

  Some other Orders about it in 1567-8.

  Printed by Hen. Bynneman.

According to Stow the drawing of this lottery was commenced at the west
door of St Paul’s Cathedral on the 11th of January 1569, and continued
day and night until the 6th of May. It was originally intended to be
drawn at Dericke’s house, but most likely, as preparations were made, it
was discovered that a private establishment would be hardly the place
for so continuous a piece of business. Maitland in his “London” says,
“Whether this lottery was on account of the public, or the selfish views
of private persons, my author[40] does not mention; but it is evident,
by the time it took up in drawing, it must have been of great concern.
This I have remarked as being the first of the kind I read in England.”
By these remarks it would seem that neither Stow nor Maitland had seen
the “Proposal” we have quoted above, which gives the reason for the
lottery.

In 1586 there was another drawing, about which we are quaintly told: “A
Lotterie, for marvellous rich and beautiful armor, was begunne to be
drawn at London, in S. Paules churchyard, at the great west gate, (an
house of timber and boord being there erected for that purpose) on St.
Peter’s Day in the morning, which Lotterie continued in Drawing day and
night for the space of two or three daies.”[41] Of this lottery Lord
Burleigh says in his diary at the end of Munden’s State Papers: “June
1586, the Lottery of Armour under the charge of John Calthorp
determined.” About the year 1612 James I., “in special favour for the
plantation of English colonies in Virginia, granted a lottery to be held
at the west end of St Paul’s; whereof one Thomas Sharplys, a taylor of
London, had the chief prize, which was four thousand crowns in fair
plate.”[42]

A correspondent of the _Gentlemen’s Magazine_ in 1778 gives Mr Urban
some particulars regarding a lottery “held in London for the present
plantation of English colonies in Virginia” in 1619. The writer says:
“It may be found, perhaps, upon strict enquiry that this mode of
raising money was authorized in many wealthy towns, as well as in the
capital; and that it was attended with beneficial effects, not only to
the colony of Virginia, but likewise to the town itself where the
lottery was held. In proof of this supposition I send you the following
authentic extract from the Register of charitable Gifts to the
Corporation of Reading:”--

  Whereas at a Lottery held within the Borough of Reading in the Year of
  our Ld. God 1619, Gabriel Barber Gent. Agent in the sd. Lottery for
  the Councell & Company of Virginia, of his own good Will & Charity
  towarde poor Tradesmen ffreemen & Inhabitants of the sd. Borough of
  Reading, & for the better enabling such poor Tradesmen to support &
  bear their Charges in their several Places & Callings in the sd.
  Corporation from time to time for ever freely gave & delivered to the
  Mayor & Burgesses of this Corporation the sum of forty Pounds of
  lawfull Money of England Upon Special Trust & Confidence, that the sd.
  Mayor & Burgesses & their Successors shall from time to time for ever
  dispose & lend these 40l. to & amongst Six poor Tradesmen after the
  rate 06l. 13s. 4d. to each Man for the Term of five Years gratis And
  after those five Years ended to dispose & lend the sd. 40l. by Such
  Soms to Six other poor Tradesmen for other five Years & so from five
  years to five years Successively upon good Security for ever
  Neverthelesse provided & upon Condition that none of those to whom the
  sd. Summs of money shall be lent during that Term of five years shall
  keep either Inn or Tavern or dwell forth of the sd. Borough, but there
  during that time and terme, shall as other Inhabitants of the sd.
  Borough reside & dwell.

  Memorand. that the sd. Sum of 40l. came not into the hands & charge of
  the Mayor & Burgesses until April 1626.

The writer then concludes with the following somewhat puzzling sentence:
“If it be asked what is become of it now? _gone_, it is supposed, _where
the chickens went before_ during the pious Protectorship of Cromwell.”

Hone in his “Everyday-Book” says that “in 1630, 6th Charles I., there
was a project ‘for the conveying of certain springs of water into London
and Westminster, from within a mile and a half of Hodsdon, in
Hertfordshire, by the undertakers, Sir Edward Stradling and John Lyde.’
The author of this project was one Michael Parker. ‘For defraying the
expenses whereof, King Charles grants them a special licence to erect
and publish a lottery or lotteries; _according_,’ says this record, ‘_to
the course of other lotteries_ heretofore used or practised.’ This is
the first mention of lotteries either in the _Fœdera_ or Statute-book.
‘And for the sole privilege of bringing the said waters in aqueducts to
London, they were to pay four thousand pounds per annum into the king’s
exchequer: and, the better to enable them to make the said large annual
payment, the king grants them leave to bring their aqueducts through any
of his parks, chases, lands, &c., and to dig up the same gratis.’” In
1653 there was a lottery at Grocers’ Hall, which has escaped the
observation of the earliest inquirers on this subject. In an old weekly
paper, called _Perfect Account of the Daily Intelligence_, November
16-23, 1653, there is the following:--

  ^Advertisement.^

  _At the Committee for Claims for Lands in Ireland,_

  Ordered, that a Lottery be at Grocers-Hall, London, on Thursday 15
  Decem. 1653, both for Provinces and Counties, to begin at 8 of the
  Clock in the forenoon of the same day; and all persons concerned
  therein are to take notice thereof.

  _W. Tibbs._

After the Restoration, Charles, whose ideas of rewarding fidelity were
always peculiar, granted plate lotteries “with a view to reward those
adherents of the Crown who resided within the bills of mortality, and
had served with fidelity during the interregnum.” By this is to be
understood a gift of plate from the Crown to be disposed of by lot,
certain persons--most likely those who had no claim whatever on the
score of fidelity--having the privilege of selling tickets. The
_Gazette_ tells us that in 1669 Charles II., the Duke of York, and many
of the nobility were present “at the grand plate lottery, which, by his
Majesty’s command, was then opened at the sign of the Mermaid, over
against the mews.” Even if this had been a proper way to reward the
faithful, the faithfullest must have felt it had been left rather late.
From this plate lottery sprang many successors, the most noticeable of
which was the Royal Oak, whose title explains itself. The rapid growth
of the institution may be judged by the following, which, according to
Anderson in his “History of Commerce,” was published shortly after the
drawing to which we have referred:--

  THIS is to give Notice, that any Persons who are desirous to farm any
  of the Counties within the Kingdom of England, or Dominion of Wales,
  in Order to the setting up of a Plate Lottery, or any other Lottery
  whatsoever, may repair to the Lottery Office, at Mr. Philips’s House,
  in Mermaid Court over against the Mews; where they may contract with
  the Trustees commissioned by his Majesties Letters Patent for the
  Management of the said Patent, on the Behalf of the truly Loyal
  Indigent Officers.

It is stated that “the Crown exceeded its prerogative by issuing these
patents, and the law was not put in motion to question them.” This was
not the only point upon which the royal rights were extended, but the
tide of loyalty had set in strongly, and Charles was not likely to miss
any of the current’s strength. Book lotteries were before this time much
in fashion, and with the kinds which came in afterwards, were drawn at
the theatres. At Vere Street theatre, which stood in Bear Yard, to which
there was an entrance through a passage at the south-west corner of
Lincoln’s Inn Fields, another from Vere Street, and a third from Clare
Market, Killigrew’s company performed during the seasons of 1661 and
1662, and part of 1663, when they removed to the newly-built theatre in
Drury Lane; the Vere Street theatre was then probably unoccupied until
Mr Ogilby, the author of the “Itinerarum Angliæ, or Book of Roads,”
adopted it, as standing in a populous neighbourhood, for the temporary
purpose of drawing a lottery of books, which took place in 1668. Books
were often the species of property held out as a lure to adventurers, by
way of lottery, for the benefit of the suffering Loyalists. In the
_Gazette_ of May 18, 1668, is the following advertisement:--

  MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books opens on Monday the 25th instant, at the
  old Theatre between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere street, where all
  Persons concerned may repair on Monday May 18, and see the Volumes,
  and put in their Money.

But the business being much better than was anticipated, the drawing had
to be postponed, and so in the number of the _Gazette_ for May 25 there
is this:--

  MR. Ogilby’s Lottery of Books (Adventurers coming in so fast that they
  cannot in so short Time be methodically registered) opens not till
  Tuesday the 2d of June; then not failing to draw; at the old Theatre
  between Lincoln’s Inn Fields and Vere street.

Ogilby had had a venture before this, about which there seems to have
been some little difficulty, as in his “Proposal” for this same lottery
he refers to aspersions which have been made. A correspondent of the
_Gentleman’s Magazine_ of nearly a hundred years ago gives as a
curiosity even then a copy of this “Proposal,” which, though rather
long, is very interesting, and so we subjoin it:--

  A SECOND PROPOSAL, by the Author, for the better and more speedy
  Vendition of several Volumes, (his own Works,) by the way of a
  standing _Lottery_, licensed by his Royal Highness the Duke of York,
  and Assistants at the Corporation of the royal Fishing.

  WHEREAS _John Ogilby_, esq., erected a standing Lottery of Books, and
  completely furnished the same with very large, fair, and special
  Volumes, all of his own Designment and Composure, at vast Expense,
  Labour and Study of twenty Years; the like Impressions never before
  exhibited in the English Tongue. Which according to the appointed
  Time, on the 10th of May, 1665, opened; and to the general
  Satisfaction of the Adventurers, with no less Hopes of a clear
  Despatch and fair Advantage to the Author, was several Days in
  Drawing: when its Proceedings were stopt by the then growing Sickness
  and lay discontinued under the Arrest of that common Calamity, till
  the next Year’s more violent and sudden Visitation, the late dreadful
  and surprising Conflagration, swallowed the Remainder, being two Parts
  of three, to the Value of three thousand Pounds and upward, in that
  unimaginable Deluge. Therefore, to repair in some Manner his so much
  commiserated Losses, by the Advice of so many his Patrons, Friends,
  and especially by the Incitations of his former Adventurers, he
  resolves, and hath already prepared, not only to reprint all his own
  former Editions, but others that are new, of equal Value, and like
  Estimation by their Embellishments, and never yet Published; with some
  remains of the first Impressions, Relics preserved in several Hands
  from the Fire; to set up a second standing Lottery, where such the
  Discrimination of Fortune shall be, that few or None shall return with
  a dissatisfying Chance. The whole Draught being of greater Advantage
  by much (to the Adventurers) than the former. And accordingly, after
  Publication, the Author opened his Office, where they might put in
  their first Encouragements (_viz._) twenty Shillings, and twenty more
  at the reception of their Fortune, and also see those several
  magnificent Volumes, which their varied Fortune (none being bad)
  should present them.

  [43]But the Author now finding more difficulty than he expected, since
  many of his Promisers (who also received great Store of Tickets to
  dispose of, towards promotion of his Business) though seeming well
  resolved and very willing, yet straining Courtesy not to go foremost
  in paying their monies, linger out, driving it off till near the time
  appointed for Drawing; which Dilatoriness: (since Despatch is the soul
  and life to his Proposal, his only Advantage a speedy Vendition:) and
  also observing how that a Money Dearth, a Silver Famine, slackens and
  cools the Courage of Adventurers: through which hazy humours
  magnifying medium Shillings loome like Crowns, and each forty
  Shillings a ten Pound Heap. Therefore, according to the present Humour
  now reigning, he intends to adequate his Design; and this seeming too
  large-roomed, standing Lottery, modelled into many less and more
  likely to be taken Tenements, which shall not open only a larger
  Prospect of pleasing Hopes, but more real Advantage to the Adventurer.
  Which are now to be disposed of thus: the whole Mass of Books or
  Volumes, being the same without Addition or Diminution, amounting
  according to their known Value (being the Prices they have been
  usually disposed at) to thirteen thousand seven hundred Pounds; so
  that the Adventurers will have the above said Volumes (if all are
  drawn) for less than two-thirds of what they would yield in Process
  of Time, Book by Book. He now resolves to attempter, or mingle each
  Prize with four allaying Blanks; so bringing down, by this Means, the
  Market from double Pounds to single Crowns.

  THE PROPOSITIONS.--First, whosoever will be pleased to put in five
  Shillings shall draw a Lot, his Fortune to receive the greatest or
  meanest Prize, or throw away his intended spending Money on a Blank.
  Secondly, whoever will adventure deeper, putting in twenty-five
  Shillings, shall receive, if such his bad Fortune be that he draws all
  Blanks, a Prize presented to him by the Author of more value than his
  Money (if offered to be sold) though proffered ware, &c. Thirdly, who
  thinks fit to put in for eight Lots forty Shillings shall receive
  nine, and the advantage of their free Choice (of all Blanks) of either
  of the Works complete, _viz._ Homer’s Iliads and Odysses, or Æsop the
  first and second Volumes, the China Book, or Virgil. Of which,

  The First and greatest Prize contains

  1 Lot, Number 1.

  An imperial Bible with Chorographical and an hundred historical
  Sculps, valued at                                               25_l._
  Virgil translated, with Sculps and Annotations, val.             5_l._
  Homer’s Iliads, adorned with Sculps, val.                        5_l._
  Homer’s Odysses, adorned with Sculps, val.                       4_l._
  Æsop’s Fables paraphrased and Sculped, in Folio, val.            3_l._
  A second Collection of Æsopick Fables, adorned with Sculps,
  never

  [_Rest imperfect._]

  His Majestie’s Entertainment passing through the city of
  London, and Coronation. These are one of each, of all the Books
  contained in the Lottery, the whole value                       51_l._

  The Second Prize contains

  1 Lot, Num. 2.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val.                    25_l._
  Homer complete, in English, val.                                 9_l._
  Virgil, val.                                                     5_l._
  Æsop complete, val.                                              6_l._
  The Description of China, val.                                   4_l._
                                                        In all 49 Pound.

  The Third Prize contains

  1 Lot, Num. 3.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps                             10_l._
  Homer’s Works in English, val.                                   9_l._
  Virgil translated, with Sculps and Annotations, val.             5_l._
  The first and second Vol. of Æsop, val.                          6_l._
  The Description of China, val.                                   4_l._
  Entertainment, val.                                              2_l._
                                                        In all 36 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 4.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val.                    25_l._
  Æsop’s Fables the first and second Vol. val.                     6_l._
                                                        In all 31 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 5.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val.                    25_l._
  Virgil translated, with Sculps, val.                             5_l._
                                                        In all 30 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 6.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val.                    25_l._
  And a Description of China, val.                                 4_l._
                                                        In all 29 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 7.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps and a new Æsop, val.     28_l._

  1 Lot, Num. 8.

  One imperial Bible with all the Sculps, val.                    25_l._

  1 Lot, Num. 9.

  A royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                         10_l._
  A Description of China, val.                                     4_l._
  And a Homer complete, val.                                       9_l._
                                                        In all 23 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 10.

  A royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                         10_l._
  A Virgil complete, val.                                          5_l._
  Æsop’s Fables the first and second Vols. val.                    6_l._
                                                        In all 21 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 11.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._
  And a Homer’s Works complete, val.                               9_l._
                                                        In all 19 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 12.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._
  And both the Æsops, val.                                         6_l._
                                                        In all 16 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 13.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._
  A Virgil complete in English, val.                               5_l._
                                                        In all 15 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 14.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._
  A Description of China, val.                                     4_l._
                                                        In all 14 Pound.

  [_No. 15 imperfect._]

  1 Lot, Num. 16.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps.                            10_l._
  The second Volume of Æsop, val.                                  3_l._
                                                        In all 13 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 17.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._
  And an Entertainment, val.                                       2_l._
                                                        In all 12 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 18.

  One royal Bible with all the Sculps, val.                       10_l._

  1 Lot, Num. 19.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                 5_l._
  One Virgil complete, val.                                        5_l._
                                                        In all 10 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 20.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                 5_l._
  And a Homer’s Iliads, val.                                       5_l._
                                                        In all 10 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 21.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                 5_l._
  And a Homer’s Odysses, val.                                      4_l._
                                                         In all 9 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 22.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                 5_l._
  And a Description of China, val.                                 4_l._
                                                         In all 9 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 23.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps.                      5_l._
  And Æsop complete, val.                                          6_l._
                                                        In all 11 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 24.

  A royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                   5_l._
  And Æsop the first Volume, val.                                  3_l._
                                                         In all 8 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 25.

  A royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                   5_l._
  And Æsop the second Volume, val.                                 3_l._
                                                         In all 8 Pound.

  1 Lot, Num. 26.

  A royal Bible, ruled, with Chorographical Sculps, val.           6_l._

  1 Lot, Num. 27.

  A royal Bible, with Chorographical Sculps, ruled, val.           6_l._

  1 Lot, Num. 28.

  One royal Bible with Chorographical Sculps, val.                 5_l._

  10 Lot, Num. 29.

  Each a Homer complete, val.                                      9_l._

  10 Lot, Num. 30.

  Each a double Æsop complete, val.                                6_l._

  520 Lot, Num. 31.

  Each a Homer’s Iliads, val.                                      5_l._

  520 Lot, Num. 32.

  Each a Homer’s Odysses, val.                                     4_l._

  570 Lot, Num. 33.

  Each a Virgil complete, val.                                     5_l._

  570 Lot, Num. 34.

  Each a China Book, val.                                          4_l._

  570 Lot, Num. 35.

  Each the first Volume of Æsop, val.                              3_l._

  570 Lot, Num. 36.

  Each the second Volume of Æsop, val.                             3_l._

  The whole Number of the Lots three thousand, three hundred, and
  sixty-eight. The Number of the Blanks as above ordered; so that the
  Total received is but four thousand, one hundred, and ten Pounds.

  The Office where their Monies are to be paid in, and they receive
  their Tickets, and where the several Volumes or Prizes may be daily
  seen, (by which visual Speculation understanding their real Worth
  better than by the Ear or printed Paper,) is kept at the Black Boy,
  over against St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street. The Adventurers may
  also repair for their better Convenience, to pay in their Monies, to
  Mr. Peter Cleyton, over against the Dutch Church, in Austin Friars,
  and to Mr. Baker, near Broad Street, entering the South door of the
  Exchange, and to Mr. Roycroft, in Bartholomew Close.

  The certain Day of Drawing, the Author promiseth (though but half
  full) to be the twenty-third of May next. Therefore all Persons that
  are willing to Adventure, are desired to bring or send in their Monies
  with their Names, or what other Inscription or Motto they will, by
  which to know their own, by the ninth of May next, it being Whitson
  Eve, that the Author may have Time to put up the Lots and Inscriptions
  into their respective Boxes.

Notwithstanding the positive promise given as to the date of the
drawing, there seems, judging by the advertisements first quoted, to
have been two alterations in the time. Mr Ogilby assorted his wares in
the most tempting manner, and it is interesting to know what were
considered the most marketable books, with their relative values, over
two hundred years ago. Even then, and long before either became
familiar to the bulk of English readers, the Iliad was worth a pound
more than the Odyssey. Æsop was rated, entire, at more than the best of
the Homeric books, but divided, he was inferior to either, and Virgil
complete was worth exactly the same amount as the Iliad. A contributor
to the _Gentleman’s Magazine_, about a hundred years back, states that
he had seen a then very old but undated “Address to the Learned, or an
advantageous lottery for books in quires; wherein each adventurer of a
guinea is sure of a prize of two pounds value; and it is but four to one
that he has a prize of three, six, eight, twelve, or fifty pounds.” The
proposals for this lottery were, one thousand four hundred lots, at a
guinea each, to be drawn with the lots out of two glasses, superintended
by John Lilly and Edward Darrel, Esqs., Mr Deputy Collins, and Mr
William Proctor, stationer; two lots of £50, ten of £12, twenty of £8,
sixty-eight of £6, two hundred of £5, and one thousand two hundred of
£3. Letters-patent on behalf of the promoters of Lotteries were from
time to time renewed, and from the _Gazette_ of October 11, 1675, it
appears by those dated June 19 and December 17, 1674, there were granted
for thirteen years to come, “all lotteries whatsoever invented or to be
invented, to several truly loyal and indigent officers, in consideration
of their many faithful services and sufferings, with prohibition to all
others to use or set up the said lotteries.” These officers were also
granted powers to give licences and name agents.

In the _Examiner_, about the time when Lotteries were suppressed, there
is much information concerning them, and the writer among other things
finds, from a copy of the _London Gazette_ of May 17, 1688, that
“Ogilby, the better to carry on his ‘Britannia,’ had a lottery of books
at Garraway’s Coffeehouse in ’Change Alley.” Lotteries of various kinds
seem to have been very general before this date; indeed so much so that
Government issued a notice in the _London Gazette_, September 27, 1683,
to prevent the drawing of any lotteries (and especially a
newly-invented lottery under the name of the riffling, or raffling,
lottery) “except those under his Majesty’s letters-patent, for thirteen
years, granted to persons for their sufferings, and have their seal of
office with this inscription, ‘_Meliora Designavi_.’” In 1683, Prince
Rupert dying rather poor, a plan was devised to obtain money by
disposing of all his jewels; but as the public were not satisfied with
the mode of drawing the lotteries, on account of the many cheats
practised on them, they would not listen to any proposals until the King
himself guaranteed to see that all was fair, and also that Mr Francis
Child, the goldsmith at Temple Bar, would be answerable for their
several adventures, as appears by the _London Gazette_, October 1,
1683:--

  THESE are to give notice, that the Jewels of his late Royal Highness
  Prince Rupert have been particularly valued and appraised by Mr. Isaac
  Legouch, Mr Christopher Rosse, and Mr. Richard Beauvoir, Jewellers,
  the whole amounting to Twenty Thousand Pounds, and will be sold by way
  of Lottery, each Lot to be Five Pounds. The biggest Prize will be a
  great Pearl Necklace, valued at 8,000_l._, and none less than 100_l._
  A printed Particular of the said Appraisement, with their Divisions
  into Lots, will be delivered gratis by Mr. Francis Child, at Temple
  Bar, London, into whose Hands, such as are willing to be Adventurers
  are desired to pay their Money, on or before the 1st Day of November
  next. As soon as the whole Sum is paid in, a short Day will be
  appointed which, (it is hoped, will be before Christmas) and notified
  in the _Gazette_, for the Drawing thereof, which will be done in his
  Majesty’s Presence, who is pleased to declare, that _he himself will
  see all the Prizes put in among the Blanks_, and that the whole will
  be managed with Equity and Fairness, Nothing being intended but the
  sale of the said Jewels at a moderate Value. And it is further
  notified, for the Satisfaction of all as shall be Adventurers, that
  the said Mr. _Child_ shall and will stand obliged to Each of them for
  their several Adventures. And that each Adventurer shall receive their
  Money back if the said Lottery be not drawn and finished before the
  first Day of February next.

This Mr Child is said to have been the first regular banker. He began
business soon after the Restoration, and received the honour of
knighthood. He lived in Fleet Street, where the shop still continues in
a state of the highest respectability.[44] A subsequent notice says that

  The King will probably, to-morrow, in the Banquetting House, see all
  the Blanks told over, that they may not exceed their Number; and that
  the Papers on which the Prizes are to be written shall be rolled up in
  his Presence; and that a Child, appointed, either by his Majesty or
  the Adventurers, shall draw the Prizes.

The most popular of all the schemes of the time was that drawn at the
Dorset Garden Theatre, near Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, with the
capital prize of a thousand pounds for a penny. The drawing began on
October 19, 1698; and in the _Protestant Mercury_ of the following day
its fairness was said to give universal content to all that were
concerned. In the next number is found an inconsistent story as to the
possessor of the prize. It runs thus: “Sometime since, a boy near
Branford going to school one morning, met an old woman, who asked his
charity; the boy replied, he had nothing to give her but a piece of
bread and butter, which she accepted. Sometime after, she met the boy
again, and told him she had good luck after his bread and butter, and
therefore would give him a penny which, after some years keeping, would
produce many pounds: he accordingly kept it a great while, and at last,
with some friends’ advice, put it into the Penny Lottery, and we are
informed that on Tuesday last, the said lot came up with £1000 prize.”
This is a very fair specimen of the stories which were always afloat
concerning the chief prizes in the principal lotteries, and which had
always some superstitious current underlying them, much to the benefit
of the vendors of tickets. The scheme of the Penny Lottery was assailed
in a tract entitled “The Wheel of Fortune, or Nothing for a Penny; being
Remarks on the Drawing of the Penny Lottery at the Theatre Royal, in
Dorset Garden.” (1698, 4to.) Afterwards this theatre was used for
exhibitions of sword-and-cudgel players, prize-fighters, &c.; but the
building was totally deserted in 1703. In the last years of the century,
schemes were started called “The Lucky Adventure; or, Fortunate Chance,
being 2000_l._ for a groat, or 3000_l._ for a shilling;” and
“Fortunatus, or another Adventure of 1000_l._ for a Penny;” but
purchasers were more wary, and the promoters’ plans in both cases fell
to the ground. The royal patentees also advertised against the “Marble
Board, alias Woollich Board lotteries; the Figure Board, alias the
Whimsey Board and the Wyre Board lotteries.” The patentees were, in
addition, always quarrelling among themselves; and the following lines
from the _Post-Boy_, January 3, 1698, were very popular at the time, as
giving an estimate of the disputes between the legalised rogues:--

  A DIALOGUE _betwixt the_ NEW LOTTERIES _and the_ ROYAL OAK.

      _New Lott._ To you the Mother of our Schools,
    Where knaves by license manage Fools,
    Finding fit Juncture and Occasion,
    To pick the Pockets of the Nation;
    We come to know how we must treat ’em,
    And to their hearts’ content may cheat ’em.

      _Oak._ It cheers my aged Heart to see
    So numerous a Progeny;
    I find by you, that ’tis Heaven’s will
    That knavery should flourish still;
    You have docility and wit,
    And Fools were never wanting yet.
      Observe the crafty Auctioneer
    His art to sell waste Paper dear;
    When he for Salmon baits his Hooks,
    That Cormorant of Offal books,
    Who bites, as sure as Maggots breed,
    Or Carrion Crows on Horseflesh feed;
    Fair specious Titles him deceive,
    To sweep what Sl---- and T----n leave.
      If greedy gulls you would ensnare,
    Make ’em Proposals wondrous fair;
    Tell him strange Golden Show’rs shall fall,
    And promise Mountains to ’em all.

      _New Lott._ That Craft we’ve already taught,
    And by that Trick have millions caught;
    Books, Baubles, Toys, all sorts of Stuff,
    Have gone off this way well enough.
    Nay, Music, too, invades our Art,
    And to some Tune wou’d play her Part.
    I’ll show you now what we are doing,
    For we have divers Wheels agoing.
    We now have found out richer Lands,
    Than Asia’s Hills, or Afric’s Sands,
    And to vast Treasures must give Birth,
    Deep hid in Bowels of the Earth;
    In fertile Wales, and God knows where,
    Rich mines of Gold and Silver are,
    From whence we draw prodigious Store
    Of Silver coin’d, tho’ none in Ore,
    Which down our Throats rich Coxcombs pour,
    In hopes to make us vomit more.

      _Oak._ This Project surely must be good
    Because not eas’ly understood;
    Besides, it gives a mighty Scope
    To the Fool’s Argument--vain Hope.
    No Eagle’s Eye the Cheat can see,
    Thro’ Hope thus back’d by Mystery.

      _New Lott._ We have, besides, a thousand more,
    For Great or Small, for Rich and Poor,
    From him that can his Thousands spare,
    Down to the Penny Customer.

      _Oak._ The silly Mob in Crowds will run,
    To be at easy Rates undone.
    A gimcrack Show draws in the Rout,
    Thousands their all by Pence lay out.

      _New Lott._ We, by Experience, find it true,
    But we have Methods wholly new,
    Strange late-invented Ways to thrive,
    To make Men pay for what they give,
    To get the Rents into our Hands
    Of their hereditary Lands,
    And out of what does thence arise,
    To make ’em buy Annuities.
    We’ve mathematick Combination,
    To cheat Folks by plain Demonstration,
    Which shall be fairly manag’d too,
    The Undertaker knows not how.
    Besides----

      _Oak._ Pray, hold a little, here’s enough,
    To beggar Europe of this Stuff.
    Go on, and prosper, and be great,
    I am to you a puny Cheat.

The Royal Oak Lottery came in for a great share of public odium, it
being regarded as the parent of all the others. A very curious tract of
1699 sets forth the various charges against it in the form of a trial.
The pamphlet is called “The Arraignment, Trial and Condemnation of
_Squire Lottery_, alias _Royal-Oak Lottery_.” The various charges,
defences, and counter-charges are very funny, and we regret that we have
only room here for the jury list, which shows that the “British
palladium” possessed then many of its present features, judged by the
characters and pretensions of the jurymen. The descriptions of these
latter would fit pretty well even in these days:--

  _The Jurors’ Names._

  Mr. _Positive_, a Draper in _Covent Garden_.
  Mr. _Squander_, an Oilman in _Fleet Street_.
  Mr. _Pert_, a Tobacconist, _ditto_.
  Mr. _Captious_, a Milliner in _Paternoster Row_.
  Mr. _Feeble_, a Coffeeman near the _Change_.
  Mr. _Altrick_, a Merchant in _Gracechurch Street_.
  Mr. _Haughty_, a Vintner by _Grays-Inn, Holborn_.
  Mr. _Jealous_, a Cutler at _Charing Cross_.
  Mr. _Peevish_, a Bookseller in _St. Paul’s Churchyard_.
  Mr. _Spilbook_, near _Fleet Bridge_.
  Mr. _Noysie_, a Silkman upon _Ludgate Hill_.
  Mr. _Finical_, a Barber in _Cheapside_.

It is noticeable that during the whole of the trial no individual
interferes with either the Court or the witnesses, there being no
mention in the report of “a Juror;” and as might have been anticipated,
the trial ends with the wholesale condemnation of Squire Lottery, and
an order for his immediate execution. Private and fallacious lotteries
had by this time become so common, not only in London, but in most other
great cities and towns of England, whereby the lower people and the
servants and children of good families were defrauded, that an Act of
Parliament was therefore passed, 10 and 11 William III. c. 17, for
suppressing such lotteries, “even although they might be set up under
colour of patents or grants under the Great Seal. Which said grants, or
patents,” says the preamble, “are against the common good, welfare, and
peace of the kingdom, and are void and against law.” A penalty,
therefore, of five hundred pounds was laid on the proprietors of any
such lotteries, and of twenty pounds on every adventurer in them.
Notwithstanding this, the like disposition to fraud and gaming prevailed
again till fresh laws were enacted for their suppression. The public,
or, as they were called, the Parliamentary, lotteries, went on, however,
as merrily as before, though they were every now and again
threatened--indeed for nearly a hundred and thirty years lotteries were
always on the point of being abolished. The promoters of lotteries, even
in the early days, thoroughly knew the value of advertising by means of
puffs, and many of their paragraphs are found given as ordinary news,
for the more effectual trapping of the gulls. Such a one is this from
the _Post-Boy_ of December 27, 1710:--

  We are informed that the Parliamentary Lottery will be fixed in this
  Manner:--150,000 Tickets will be delivered out at 10_l._ each Ticket,
  making in all the Sum of 1,500,000_l._ Sterling; the Principal thereof
  is to be sunk, the Parliament allowing nine per cent. Interest for the
  whole during the Term of thirty-two Years, which Interest is to be
  divided as follows: 3750 Tickets will be Prizes from 1000_l._ to 5_l._
  per annum, during the said thirty-two Years; all the other Tickets
  will be Blanks, so that there will be thirty-nine of these to one
  Prize, but then each Blank Ticket will be entitled to fourteen
  Shillings a year for the Term of thirty-two Years, which is better
  than an Annuity for life at ten per cent. over and above chance of
  getting a prize.

Such was the eagerness of the public to secure shares in this great and
liberal undertaking on the part of a beneficent Legislature, that
Mercers’ Hall was literally crowded, and the clerks were found
incompetent to receive the influx of names. Six hundred thousand pounds
was subscribed by January 21; and on the 28th of February the required
amount of a million and a half had been taken out in shares. This rage
for speculation had much to do with the success of the South-Sea Bubble,
which was attended by myriad smaller bubbles that in the grand collapse
of the most magnificent swindle of modern times have been quite
forgotten. But many large fortunes were made by small means. In the
height of the speculative fever, hardly a day, certainly not a week,
passed without fresh projects, recommended by pompous paragraphs in the
newspapers, directing where to subscribe to them. On some six per cent.
was paid down, on others one shilling per thousand at the time of
subscribing. Some of the obscure keepers of these books of subscription,
contenting themselves with what they had netted in the morning, by
the registration of one or two millions, disappeared in the afternoon,
the rooms they had hired being shut up, and they and their
subscription-books being never heard of more. On others of these
projects, two shillings, and two-and-sixpence, were paid down; for some
few even half a sovereign per cent. was deposited, but this was only in
the case of those who could find some person of standing to recommend
them in Exchange Alley. Some were divided into shares instead of
hundreds and thousands, upon each of which so much was paid down. Any
impudent impostor, while the delusion was at its greatest height, needed
only to hire a room near the alley for a few hours, and open a
subscription-book for a pretended scheme relating to commerce,
manufacture, plantation, or some supposed invention, having first
advertised it in the newspapers of the preceding day, and he might in a
few hours find subscribers for one or two millions of imaginary stock.
Yet many of the subscribers were far from believing the project
feasible; it was enough for their purpose that there would soon be a
premium on the receipts for the subscriptions, when they could easily
get rid of them in the crowded alley to others more credulous than
themselves. Indeed some of these bubbles were so barefaced and palpably
gross as not to have the shadow of anything like feasibility: such, for
instance, were an insurance against divorces; a scheme to learn men to
cast nativities; another for making butter from beech-trees; a project
for a flying machine; a company for fattening hogs; and a proposal for a
more inoffensive method of emptying or cleansing necessary-houses.

Addison, of course, availed himself of the opportunity afforded by the
great lottery mania, and in the _Spectator_ for Tuesday, October 9,
1711, he comments on the peculiarities of investors. “When a man has a
mind to venture his money in a lottery,” says he, “every figure of it
appears equally alluring, and as likely to succeed as any of its
fellows. They all of them have the same pretensions to good luck, stand
upon the same foot of competition, and no manner of reason can be given
why a man should prefer one to the other before the lottery is drawn. In
this case, therefore, caprice very often acts in the place of reason,
and forms to itself some groundless imaginary motive, where real and
substantial ones are wanting. I know a well-meaning man that is very
well pleased to risk his good fortune upon the number 1711, because it
is the year of our Lord. I am acquainted with a tacker that would give a
good deal for the number 134. On the contrary, I have been told of a
certain zealous dissenter, who being a great enemy to Popery, and
believing that bad men are the most fortunate in this world, will lay
two to one on the number 666 against any other number, because, says he,
it is the number of the Beast. Several would prefer the number 12,000
before any other, as it is the number of the pounds in the great prize.
In short, some are pleased to find their own age in their number; some
that have got a number which makes a pretty appearance in the ciphers;
and others because it is the same number that succeeded in the last
lottery. Each of these, upon no other grounds, thinks he stands fairest
for the great lot, and that he is possessed of what may not be
improbably called--‘the golden number.’”

The reference to the number 134 is made on account of a bill which was
brought into the House of Commons against occasional Conformity; and so
that it should pass through the Lords, it was proposed to tack it to a
money bill. This proposal caused some warm debates, and at last, on
being put to the vote, it was found that 134 were for tacking. A large
majority was, however, against it, and the motion fell through. The
Beast’s number is, of course, a reference to Revelation xiii. 18; and
the final allusion in the paragraph we will not insult the reader by
attempting to explain. Addison then goes on: “These principles of
election are the pastimes and extravagances of human reason, which is of
so busy a nature, that it will be exerting itself in the meanest
trifles, and working even where it wants materials. The wisest of men
are sometimes acted by such unaccountable motives, as the life of the
fool and the superstitious is guided by nothing else. I am surprised
that none of the fortune-tellers, or, as the French call them, the
_Diseurs de bonne Aventure_, who publish their bills in every quarter of
the town, have turned our lotteries to their advantage. Did any of them
set up for a caster of fortunate figures, what might he not get by his
pretended discoveries and predictions? I remember, among the
advertisements in the _Post-Boy_ of September the 27th, I was surprised
to see the following one:--

  _This is to give Notice that ten Shillings over and above the Market
  Price, will be given for the Ticket in the 1,500,000l. Lottery, No.
  132_, by Nath. Cliff, _at the_ Bible and Three Crowns _in Cheapside_.

“This advertisement has given great matter of speculation to
coffee-house theorists. Mr. Cliff’s principles and conversation have
been canvassed upon this occasion, and various conjectures made why he
should thus set his heart upon No. 132. I have examined all the powers
in those numbers, broken them into fractions, extracted the square and
cube root, divided and multiplied them all ways, but could not arrive at
the secret until about three days ago, when I received the following
letter from an unknown hand, by which I find that Mr. Nath. Cliff is
only the agent, and not the principal, in this advertisement. ‘Mr.
Spectator,--I am the person that lately advertised I would give ten
shillings more than the current price for the ticket No. 132, in the
lottery now drawing, which is a secret I have communicated to some
friends, who rally me incessantly upon that account. You must know I
have but one ticket, for which reason, and a certain dream I have lately
had more than once, I resolved it should be the number I most approved.
I am so positive that I have pitched upon the great lot, that I could
almost lay all I am worth upon it. My visions are so frequent and strong
upon this occasion, that I have not only possessed the lot, but disposed
of the money which in all probability it will sell for. This morning in
particular I set up an equipage which I look upon to be the gayest in
the town; the liveries are very rich, but not gaudy. I should be very
glad to see a speculation or two upon lottery subjects, in which you
would oblige all people concerned, and in particular, your most humble
servant George Gosling. P.S. Dear Spec, if I get the 12,000_l._ I’ll
make thee a handsome present.’ After having wished my correspondent good
luck, and thanked him for his intended kindness, I shall for this time
dismiss the subject of the lottery, and only observe, that the greatest
part of mankind are in some degree guilty of my friend Gosling’s
extravagance. We are apt to rely upon future prospects, and become
really expensive while we are only rich in possibility. We live up to
our expectations, not to our possessions, and make a figure
proportionable to what we may be, not what we are. We outrun our present
income, as not doubting to disburse ourselves out of the profits of some
future place, project, or reversion that we have in view. It is through
this temper of mind, which is so common among us, that we see tradesmen
break, who have met with no misfortunes in their business; and men of
estate reduced to poverty, who have never suffered from losses or
repairs, tenants, taxes, or lawsuits. In short, it is this foolish
sanguine temper, this depending upon contingent futurities, that
occasions romantic generosity, chimerical grandeur, senseless
ostentation, and generally ends in beggary and ruin. The man who will
live above his present circumstances, is in great danger of living in a
little time much beneath them; or, as the Italian proverb runs, ‘the man
who lives by hope will die by hunger.’ It should be an indispensable
rule in life to contract our desires to our present condition, and,
whatever may be our expectations, to live within the compass of what we
actually possess. It will be time enough to enjoy an estate when it
comes into our hands; but if we anticipate our good fortune, we shall
lose the pleasure of it when it arrives, and may possibly never possess
what we have so foolishly counted upon.” We have quoted nearly at
length, and offer no excuse; for those who are familiar with the lesson
can do no harm by reading it anew, while those who are not may be
tempted to dip deeper, and find in the pages of the _Spectator_ many new
delights. We can offer no remarks of our own on the superstitions of
“adventurers” fit to be placed by those we have extracted, and so will
pass on to fresh incidents.

Lotteries abounded to such an extent about this time that we really have
too much tempting material to choose from. There were the Greenwich
Hospital Adventure, sanctioned by Act of Parliament; the Land Lottery,
the promoter of which declared it was “found very difficult and
troublesome for the adventurers for to search and find out what prizes
they have come up in their number-tickets, from the badness of the
print, the many errors in them, and the great quantity of prizes;” as
well as the Twelvepenny, or Nonsuch, the Fortunatus, and the Deer
Lotteries, all flourishing; to say nothing of the smaller swindles,
which, despite Parliament, were connived at by the minor authorities.
The Hamburgh Lottery caused in 1723 some trouble in the House of
Commons. It was ostensibly a scheme for promoting trade between Great
Britain and the Elbe territories, but was as gross an imposition as even
a lottery system could produce, and was ultimately suppressed by special
Act, John Viscount Barrington being expelled the House for complicity in
the snare. He was not the only man of rank who dabbled with dirty water,
many members of the Commons being more or less openly convicted of fraud
in connection with lotteries. George Robinson, Esq., member for Marlowe,
disappeared mysteriously in 1731, and it was found that with him went
all the hopes of the Charitable Corporation Society, who discovered upon
investigation that the half million capital they thought themselves
possessed of had been embezzled. Two other M.P.’s, Sir Archibald Grant
and Sir Robert Sutton, were found to be concerned, in common with many
other persons of position, in the defalcation, and were expelled from
their seats, while their property was attached. A lottery was instituted
for the benefit of the sufferers, and in 1734 they received nine
shillings and ninepence in the pound. This is an advertisement published
in the _Daily Courant_, July 1, 1734, with regard to the distribution of
prizes in this same lottery:--

  Lottery-Office, 28 June 1734.

  _THE Managers appointed by an Act of Parliament for exchanging the
  Tickets in the Charitable Corporation Lottery give Notice, That
  Certificates for all Tickets in the said Lottery, which have been
  entered at their Office in the New Palace Yard, near the Receipt of
  his Majesty’s Exchequer, to the 29th Day of June, 1734, will be
  delivered out at their said Office, in Exchange for the said Tickets,
  on Wednesday and Thursday next, from Ten in the Forenoon ’till Two in
  the Afternoon of each Day; and that the Business of taking in the
  Tickets will be suspended ’till Friday the 5th Day of July._

  _And whereas Tickets have been brought to be entered for Certificates,
  that have been altered from Blanks to Numbers intituled to Benefits
  (which Tickets have been detected) The Managers do hereby give Notice,
  that the same is declared Felony by the Act._

It is worthy of notice that sharpers of a description other than the
promoters of lotteries were anxious to get all they could out of the
ventures, and so winning numbers were very often fabricated; and in more
than one instance the utterers being detected, were with the forgers
tried and cast for death. A notable instance of this kind of fraud was
made public in 1777, in the January of which year two Jews, Joseph
Arones and Samuel Noah, were examined at Guildhall before the Lord
Mayor, charged with counterfeiting the lottery ticket No. 25,590, a
prize of £2000, with intent to defraud Mr Keyser, an office-keeper, who
had examined the ticket carefully, and had taken it into the Stock
Exchange to sell, when Mr Shewell happened to come into the same box,
and hearing the office-keeper’s offer, asked to look at the ticket, as
he recollected buying one of the same number a day or two before. This
very fortunately led to the discovery of the fraud, and the two Jews
were committed to take their trial. The number was so artfully altered
from 23,590 that not the least erasure could be discerned. Arones was
but just come to England, and Noah was said to be a man of property. In
the February the two were tried at the Old Bailey for forgery and fraud.
Their defence was that Arones found the ticket, and persons were
produced to swear to the fact, which they did positively and
circumstantially, that the prisoners were discharged. At the same
sessions Daniel Denny was tried for forging, counterfeiting, and
altering a lottery ticket with intent to defraud; and being found
guilty, was condemned. In later days the small cards given on
race-courses--and a few years back in the streets--by turf bookmakers to
their customers were very successfully imitated, sometimes the number of
a ticket which was known to be held by a winner being counterfeited,
while at others the brazen-visaged presenter would simply depend upon
his ability to “bounce” the layer of odds into the belief that the entry
was wrong as to the amount or name of horse. In these latter cases the
ingenuity exhibited was great--was in fact of the kind which judges are
in the habit of instancing as worthy of better application. As if
judges--and juries too, when they have sense--did not know that the only
outlet for ability nine times out of ten in certain conditions of
society is in a criminal direction. The kind of skill which brings a man
to the Central Criminal Court is not likely to find much of an opening
so far as money-getting is concerned, and from the ingenuity of the
great bank-forgers of 1873, down to that of Counsellor Kelly and Jim the
Penman of watch-robbery recollection, there is a wide field of skill for
which virtue has small market, and which therefore turns to vice for its
reward. We say this without any wish to be regarded as encouragers of
crime in any shape or form, but because we consider the words of the
judge humbug, and the leaders in certain papers which always break out
upon such occasions as we have referred to as cant of the most
flagitious character. There is hardly a man now languishing in prison
for being ingenious who will not tell you that ingenuity has been his
bane, not alone because he yielded to temptation, but because he found
the market overstocked with people quite as clever as himself who had
additional advantages. This simply proves that the ability which looks
so great when it has been devoted to the purposes of robbery is of a
very small order after all, and shows itself in its true light when in
its proper channel. What, if estimated at their proper value, were the
qualifications of the American forgers or the English burglars? Are
there not scores of confidential clerks and dozens of skilled mechanics
who could have done as well or better than either if they had chosen so
to do? Yes, decidedly. Yet in both cases, as well as in many others, the
judge and jury, the public and the press, affected to be horror-struck
at such a waste of talent. But, as they say in the novels, this is a
digression.

In 1736 an Act was passed to build Westminster Bridge by means of a
lottery, and by means of advertisement the following scheme was
submitted to the public:--

  LOTTERY 1736, _for raising 100000l. for building a Bridge at_
  Westminster, _consisting of 125000 Tickets at 5l. each_.

  Prizes 1    of    20000_l._    is    20000_l._
         2    „     10000        „     20000
         3    „      5000        „     15000
        10    „      3000        „     30000
        40    „      1000        „     40000
        60    „       500        „     30000
       100    „       200        „     20000
       200    „       100        „     20000
       400    „        50        „     20000
      1000    „        20        „     20000
     28800    „        10        „    288000
    ------                            ------
     30616 Prizes, amounting to       523000
     94384 Blanks.
           First Drawn                  1000
           Last Drawn                   1000
    ------                            ------
    125000                            525000
    ------                            ------

  The Prizes to be paid at the Bank in 40 Days after Drawing, without
  Deduction. N.B. _There is little more than Three_ Blanks _to a_ Prize.

Other lotteries were granted for the same purpose before the bridge was
completed. Its structure must have been as rotten as the system on which
it was built, as for many years before it was pulled down it was a
disgrace to the neighbourhood; and as it was anything but old when it
was demolished, it must have gone to decay almost as soon as it was
opened. Almost every imaginable article was at this period disposed of
by raffle or lottery, and Horace Walpole, writing about one for an
organ, says: “I am now in pursuit of getting the finest piece of music
that ever was heard; it is a thing that will play eight tunes. Handel
and all the great musicians say, that it is beyond anything they can do;
and this may be performed by the most ignorant person; and when you are
weary of those eight tunes, you may have them changed for any other that
you like. This I think much better than going to an Italian opera or an
assembly. This performance has been lately put into a lottery, and all
the royal family choose to have a great many tickets rather than to buy
it, the price being I think £1000, infinitely a less sum than some
bishoprics have been sold for. And a gentleman won it, who I am in hopes
will sell it, and if he will, I will buy it, for I cannot live to have
another made, and I will carry it into the country with me.” As Walpole
lived for sixty years after this, he must have lived to see much more
wonderful instruments built, and possibly offered as prizes in
lotteries. In June 1743 the price of lottery tickets rose from £10 to
£11, 10s., the prizes being in no way increased, and a hint to the
unwary was published, in which it was shown that adventurers “gamed at
50 per cent. loss; paying at that price 2s. 6d. to play for 5s.; the
money played for being only three pound, besides discount and
deductions.” The practice of giving £1000 each to the first and last
drawn tickets led to a curious difficulty in 1774. On the 5th of
January, at the conclusion of drawing the State Lottery at Guildhall,
No. 11,053, as the last-drawn ticket, was declared to be entitled to the
thousand pounds, and was so printed in the paper of benefits by order of
the commissioners. It was, beside, a prize of a hundred pounds. But
after the wheels were carried back to Whitehall, and there opened, the
ticket No. 72,248 was found sticking in a crevice of the wheel. And,
being the next-drawn ticket after all the prizes were drawn, was
advertised by the commissioners’ order as entitled to the thousand
pounds, as the last-drawn ticket; “which affair,” we are told by the
_Gentleman’s Magazine_, “made a great deal of noise.” The State Lottery
of 1751 met with much opposition from the press, and an article in the
_London Magazine_ gives the following computation of its chances:--

IN THE LOTTERY 1751 IT IS

  69998 to     2 or 34999 to 1 against a £10000 Prize
  69994 to     6 or 11665 to 1 against a   5000 or upwards
  69989 to    11 or  6363 to 1 against a   3000
  69981 to    19 or  3683 to 1 against a   2000
  69961 to    39 or  1794 to 1 against a   1000
  69920 to    80 or   874 to 1 against a    500
  69720 to   280 or   249 to 1 against a    100
  69300 to   700 or    99 to 1 against a     50
  60000 to 10000 or     6 to 1 against a     20 or any Prize.

The writer then goes on to say: “I would beg the favour of all
gentlemen, tradesmen, and others, to take the pains to explain to such
as any way depend upon their judgment, that one must buy no less than
seven tickets to have an even chance for any prize at all; that with
only one ticket it is six to one, and with half a ticket twelve to one,
against any prize; and ninety-nine or a hundred to one that the prize,
if it comes, will not be above £50; and no less than thirty-five
thousand to one that the owner of a single ticket will not obtain one of
the greatest prizes. No lottery is proper for persons of very small
fortunes, to whom the loss of five or six pounds is of great
consequence, besides the disturbance of their minds; much less is it
advisable or desirable for either poor or rich to contribute to the
exorbitant tax of more than two hundred thousand pounds, which the first
engrossers of lottery tickets, and the brokers and dealers, strive to
raise out of the pockets of the poor chiefly, and the silly rich partly,
by artfully enhancing the price of tickets above the original cost.” The
first price of tickets in this lottery was ten pounds. On their rise a
Mr Holland publicly offered in an advertisement to wager four hundred
guineas that four hundred tickets when drawn did not amount to nine
pounds fifteen shillings on an average, prizes and blanks. As might have
been expected, his challenge was never accepted. On the 11th of the next
month (November) the drawing began, and notwithstanding the
public-spirited efforts of individuals, societies, and papers which did
not receive any benefit in the way of advertisements, to check the
exorbitancy of the ticket-mongers, the price rose steadily and
ultimately to sixteen guineas a ticket. All means were tried by the
disinterested to cure this infatuation by writing and advertising; and
on the first day of drawing, it was publicly averred that near eight
thousand tickets were in the South Sea House, and upwards of thirty
thousand pawned at bankers, &c., that nine out of ten of the
ticket-holders were not able to go to the wheel, and that not one of
them durst stand the drawing above six days. These dealers seem to have
had an awkward knack of selling the same ticket to two buyers, or
disposing of more than the proper fractional parts of one ticket, in the
hope of its turning up a blank, thus “going for the gloves” in a style
imitated in modern days by votaries of Tattersall’s and other betting
institutions with much success. This arrangement, with others of a
similar nature, led to the establishment of insurances offices, which,
at first an ostensible protection by guaranteeing special numbers, and
thereby preventing fraud on the part of sellers, became in time greater
swindles than those they were supposed to prevent.

To prevent the monopoly of tickets in the State Lottery, and the
consequent upheaval of rates, it had been enacted that persons charged
with the delivery of tickets should not sell more than twenty to one
person. This provision was evaded by the use of pretended lists, which
defeated the object of Parliament, and injured public credit, insomuch
that in 1754 more tickets were subscribed for than the holders of the
lists had cash to purchase, and there was a deficiency in the first
payment. The mischief and notoriety of these practices occasioned the
House of Commons to prosecute an inquiry into the circumstances, which,
though opposed by a scandalous cabal that endeavoured to screen the
delinquents, ended in a report, by the committee, that Peter Leheup,
Esq., had privately disposed of a great number of tickets before the
office was opened to which the public were directed by advertisement to
apply; that he also delivered great numbers to particular persons, upon
lists of names which he knew to be fictitious; and that, in particular,
Sampson Gideon became proprietor of more than six thousand, which he
sold at a premium. Upon report of these and other illegal acts, the
House resolved that Leheup was guilty of a violation of the Act and a
breach of trust, and presented an address to his Majesty praying that he
would direct the Attorney-General to prosecute him in the most effectual
manner for his offences. An information was accordingly filed, and, on a
trial at bar in the Court of King’s Bench, Leheup, as one of the
receivers of the last lottery of three hundred thousand pounds, was
found guilty (1) of receiving subscriptions before the day and hour
advertised; (2) of permitting the subscribers to use different names to
cover an excess of twenty tickets; and (3) of disposing of the tickets
which had been bespoke, and not claimed, or were double charged, instead
of returning them to the managers. In Trinity Term, Leheup was brought
up for judgment, and fined a thousand pounds, which was at once paid.
This was one of the grossest miscarriages of justice known with regard
to the lottery frauds, as in the course of the evidence given it was
discovered that the defendant had amassed by his trickery over forty
thousand pounds for his own share. Another instance of the horrible
effect these instruments of gambling had on the public mind is found in
the madness of many successful speculators, as well as in the continuous
suicides of the unsuccessful. On November 5, 1757, Mr Keys, a clerk, who
had absented himself from business ever since the 7th of October, on
which day was drawn the ten-thousand-pound prize, supposed to be his
property, was found in the streets raving mad, having been robbed of his
pocket-book and ticket.

The very small parts into which shares were divided more than a hundred
years ago is shown by the following advertisement, published in several
papers of November 1766:--

  DAME FORTUNE presents her Respects to the Public, and assures them
  that she has fixed her Residence for the Present at CORBETT’S State
  Lottery Office, opposite St. Dunstan’s Church, Fleet Street; and, to
  enable many Families to partake of her Favours, she has ordered not
  only the Tickets to be sold at the lowest Prices, but also that they
  be _divided into Shares at the following low Rates_,--viz.:--

                    £   _s._  _d._
  A Sixty-fourth    0     4     0
  Thirty-second     0     7     6
  Sixteenth         0    15     0
  An Eighth         1    10     0
  A Fourth          3     0     0
  A Half            6     0     0

  By which may be gained from upwards of one hundred and fifty to
  upwards of five thousand Guineas, at her said Office No. 30.

As another instance of the superstition prevalent during the lottery
mania we will give the following anecdote, which though old will bear
repetition. A gentlewoman whose husband had presented her with a ticket,
put up prayers in the church, the day before drawing, in the following
manner: “The prayers of the congregation are desired for the success of
a person engaged in a new undertaking.” Lottery tickets were often
presented by gentlemen to ladies, and it is recorded that a lady falling
in love with an actor, finding that the many letters of passionate
admiration she sent him passed unnoticed, accompanied one of them with a
gift of four lottery tickets. Whether they were successful, either as
regards moving his obdurate heart or providing him with a prize, we are
unfortunately not able to say. Anyhow, it doesn’t much matter, as the
recipient of the favours died shortly afterwards; and most likely the
unknown lady consoled herself with another and more willing lover, or
else with a lottery.

Between 1770 and 1775 the tricks of the insurers occupied a great deal
of attention, and almost left the ordinary office-keepers unnoticed. The
two businesses were, however, pretty well mixed up by this time. An
important trial took place at Guildhall for the purpose of deciding the
legality of insuring on March 1, 1773, the Lord Mayor being plaintiff,
and Messrs Barnes & Golightly defendants, but on account of an error in
the declaration the plaintiff was nonsuited. On June 26, 1775, a cause
came on in the Court of Common Pleas, Guildhall, between a gentleman,
plaintiff, and a lottery office-keeper, defendant. The cause of the
action was, that the gentleman, passing by the lottery office, observed
a woman and a boy crying, on which he asked the reason of their tears.
They informed him that they had insured a number in the lottery on the
overnight, and upon inquiry at another office, found it to have been
drawn five days before, and therefore wanted their money returned. The
gentleman taking their part was assaulted and beaten by the
office-keeper, and the jury, after hearing the evidence, gave a verdict
in favour of the gentleman with five pounds damages.

In 1775 some of the Bluecoat boys appointed to assist in the drawing of
the State Lottery were tampered with for the purpose of inducing them to
commit a fraud. These attempts were successful in one instance that
became known, and doubtless in many others that did not. This discovery
led to certain regulations, which were carried out with great vigour. On
the 1st of June a man was brought before the Lord Mayor for attempting
to bribe the two boys who drew the Museum Lottery at Guildhall to
conceal a ticket, and to bring it to him, promising that he would at
once return it. His intention was to insure it in all the offices with a
view to defraud the keepers. The boys were so frightened at the
proposition that they gave notice to the managers of the lottery, and
pointed out the delinquent, who was, however, discharged, as there was
no law by which to punish him. On the 5th of December another of the
boys engaged to draw the numbers in the State Lottery at Guildhall was
examined before Sir Charles Asgill relative to a number that had been
drawn out the Friday before, on which an assurance had been made in
almost every office in London. The boy confessed that he was prevailed
upon to conceal the ticket No. 21,481, by a man who paid him for so
doing; that the man copied the number; and that the next day he followed
the man’s instructions, and put his hand into the wheel as usual, with
the ticket in it, and then pretended to draw it from among the rest. The
instigator of the offence had actually received £400 of the
insurance-office keepers. Had all of them paid him, the whole sum would
have amounted to £3000; but some of them suspected a fraud had been
committed, and caused the inquiry which led to the boy’s confessing both
the temptation and his folly. On the next day the man who insured the
ticket was examined. He was clerk to a hop-factor in Goodman’s Fields;
but not being the person who had persuaded the boy to secrete the ticket
and pretend to draw it in the usual manner, and no evidence appearing to
connect him with the actual seducer, the prisoner was discharged, though
it was ascertained that he had insured the number already mentioned
ninety-one times in one day. In consequence of the circumstances which
led to this examination, the Lords of the Treasury inquired further and
deliberated on the means of preventing a recurrence of such
transactions. The result of their conference was the following order,
which was, however, but privately circulated, and was never published in
any periodical, book, or newspaper until after the abolition of
Lotteries:--

  ORDER _of December 12, 1775_.

  A DISCOVERY having been made that WILLIAM TRAMPLETT, one of the Boys
  employed in drawing the Lottery had, at the Instigation of one CHARLES
  LOWNDES, (since absconded) at different Times in former Rolls, _taken
  out of the Number Wheel_ THREE _numbered Tickets, which were at_ THREE
  _several Times returned by him into the said Wheel, and drawn without
  his parting with them_, so as to give them the Appearance of being
  fairly drawn _to answer the purpose of defrauding by insurance_:

  IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, for preventing the like wicked Practices in
  future, that every Boy, before he is suffered to put his Hand into
  either Wheel, be brought by the Proclaimer to the Managers on Duty,
  for them to see that _the Bosoms and Sleeves of his Coat be closely
  buttoned, his Pockets sewed up, and his Hands examined_; and that
  during the Time of his being on Duty, _he shall keep his left Hand in
  his Girdle behind him, and his right Hand open with his Fingers
  extended_; and the Proclaimer is not to suffer him at any Time to
  leave the Wheel, without being first examined by the Manager nearest
  him.

  The Observance of the foregoing Order is recommended by the Managers
  on this Roll to those on the succeeding Rolls, till the matter shall
  be more fully discussed at a general Meeting.

It is noticeable that though only one ticket was spoken of in the police
case, the secret instructions refer to three. It is likely that if it
had been known that more than one had been tampered with, a general
unpleasantness would have resulted, and the whole of the drawing been
declared null and void. As it was, there was some difficulty in keeping
the matter within bounds; and the trifling proportion of the attempted
cheat, as compared with the magnitude of the general issue, was the
strong point of the lottery managers. The exposure of the attempted, and
so far as two tickets were concerned apparently successful, fraud, would
have led to a vast amount of trouble and expense, and would have
considerably added to the unpopularity of lotteries--a feeling which, as
it was, made itself now and again very manifest. Anyhow the secret was
kept for over sixty years, as it was never divulged until the general
dissolution of the lottery system in 1826, when the following on the
same subject was also for the first time made public:--

  ORDER _at_ GENERAL MEETING.

  A PLAN OF RULES AND REGULATIONS to be observed in order _to prevent
  the Boys committing Frauds, &c._, in the Drawing of the Lottery,
  agreeable to _Directions_ received by Mr. Johnson on Tuesday the 16th
  of January 1776, from the LORDS OF THE TREASURY.

  THAT ten Managers be always on the Roll at Guildhall, two of whom are
  to be conveniently placed opposite the two Boys at the Wheels, in
  order to observe that they strictly conform themselves to the Rules
  and Orders directed by the Committee at Guildhall, on Tuesday,
  December 12, 1775.

  THAT _it be requested of the_ TREASURER OF CHRIST’S HOSPITAL _not to
  make known who are the twelve Boys nominated for drawing the Lottery
  till the morning the Drawing begins; which said Boys are all to attend
  every Day, and the two who are to go on Duty at the Wheels are to be
  taken promiscuously from amongst the whole Number_ by either of the
  Secretaries, _without observing any regular Course or Order; so that
  no Boy shall know when it will be his turn to go to either Wheel_.

  THIS METHOD, though attended with considerable additional Expense, by
  the extra Attendance of two Managers and six Boys, will, it is
  presumed, effectually prevent any Attempt being made to corrupt or
  bribe any of the Boys to commit the Fraud practised in the last
  Lottery.

In July 1778 there was tried before Lord Mansfield at Guildhall a case
wherein a merchant was plaintiff and a lottery-office keeper defendant.
The action was for the purpose of recovering damages against the
office-keeper for suffering plaintiff’s apprentice, a youth, to insure
during the drawing of the last lottery, contrary to the statute; whereby
the lad lost a considerable sum, the property of his master. The jury,
without leaving their box, gave a verdict for the plaintiff, and the
judge ordered the defendant to pay £500 penalty and be imprisoned for
three months. During the same year, Parliament having discussed the evil
of insuring, and the mischievous subdivision of the shares of tickets,
passed an Act for the regulation of lottery offices, by which it was
enacted that every office-keeper should pay £50 for a licence, and give
tangible security not to infringe any part of the Act; that no smaller
portion of any ticket than a sixteenth should be disposed of under a
penalty of £50; that any person disposing of goods or merchandise upon
any chance relating to the drawing of any ticket should be liable to a
fine of £20; and that all shares should be stamped at an office
established under the said Act, the original tickets being kept at the
office till after the drawing. Many other regulations were made in the
same law, and in the following year the question was again subject of
legislation; but notwithstanding all the efforts of the Commons, the
ruinous practice of insuring was still conducted with dexterity and
great profit by the office-keepers. This is one of their plans for
evading the law:--

  _November 7, 1781._

  MODE OF INSURANCE,

  WHICH continues the whole Time of drawing the Lottery, at CARRICK’S
  STATE LOTTERY OFFICE, King’s Arms, 72, Threadneedle Street. _At one
  Guinea each_ NUMBERS _are taken_, to return three Twenty Pound Prizes,
  value Sixty Pounds, for every given Number that shall be drawn any
  Prize whatever above Twenty Pounds during the whole drawing.

  ⁂ _Numbers at half a Guinea to receive half the above._

And here is another of about the same date, which openly violates the
spirit if not the letter of the law:--

  J. COOK respectfully solicits the Public will favour the following
  _incomparably advantageous plan_ with attention, by which _upwards of
  thirty-two thousand Chances for obtaining a Prize (out of the
  forty-eight thousand Tickets) are given in one Policy_.

  POLICIES OF FIVE GUINEAS _with three Numbers_, with the first Number
  will gain

  20000  if a Prize of   £20000
  10000         „        £10000
  5000          „         £5000

  _with the second Number_ will gain

  6000   guineas if   20000
  3000       „        10000
  1500       „         5000

  _with the third Number_ will gain

  3000   guineas if   20000
  1500       „        10000
  1200       „         5000

Then follow the address and other tempting inducements. In 1781 an Act
was passed to prevent the insurance of tickets by any method. The
office-keepers continued to insure notwithstanding, and many
prosecutions resulted; but as the profits were greater than the fines,
business continued to run briskly. One man was in 1784 fined fifteen
hundred pounds, and he brought an action in 1785 to recover the money
from the sheriff who had levied the amount on his goods. The case was
tried in the Court of King’s Bench, and ended in an almost immediate
nonsuit. In February 1793 the Commissioners of the Lottery, in order to
abate insuring, determined that no persons should be suffered to take
down numbers except the clerks of licensed offices known to the
Commissioners. No slips were to be sent out; but the numbers were to be
taken down by one clerk in one book; Steel’s list of lottery numbers was
to be abolished, and a recompense made for it; and the magistrates
resolved to apprehend all suspicious persons who should be seen taking
early numbers. Yet in 1796 there was a class of sharpers who took
lottery insurances, and this gambling among the higher and middle
classes was carried on to an extent exceeding all credibility, producing
consequences to many private families of great worth and respectability,
of the most distressing nature.

The insurance offices in London numbered over four hundred. To many of
them persons were attached called Morocco men, who went from house to
house among their customers, or attended in the back parlours of
public-houses, for the purpose of making insurances. It was calculated
that at these offices (exclusive of what was done at the licensed
offices) insurances were made to the extent of eight hundred thousand
pounds, in premiums, during the Irish Lottery, and above one million
during the English, upon which it was calculated that the insurers made
from fifteen to twenty-five per cent. profit. This confederacy, during
the English Lottery of the year 1796, supported about two thousand
agents and clerks, and nearly eight thousand Morocco men, “including a
considerable number of ruffians and bludgeon men, paid by a general
association of the principal proprietors of the establishments, who
regularly met in committee in a well-known public-house in Oxford
Market, twice or thrice a week during the drawing of the lottery, for
the purpose of concerting measures to defeat the exertions of the
magistrates by forcibly resisting or bribing the officers of justice.”

Lotteries were declared by the Parliamentary reports of 1807 to be
inseparable from illegal insurances. The reports further state that “the
Lottery is so radically vicious, that under no system of regulations
which can be devised will it be possible for Parliament to adopt it as
an efficient source of revenue, and at the same time divest it of all
the evils and calamities of which it has hitherto been so baneful a
source.” Among these evils and calamities the Committees of Parliament
enumerate that “idleness, dissipation, and poverty were increased,--the
most sacred and confidential trusts were betrayed,--domestic comfort was
destroyed, madness was often created, suicide itself was produced, and
crimes subjecting the perpetrators of them to death were committed.” Sir
Nathaniel Conant, who in 1816 was chief magistrate of Bow Street, stated
to a committee of the House of Commons that the Lottery was one of the
predisposing causes by which the people of the metropolis were vitiated;
that it led to theft, to supply losses and disappointments occasioned by
speculating on its chances; and that illegal insurances continued to be
effected. “There are,” he says, “people in the background, who, having
got forty or fifty thousand pounds by that, employ people of the lowest
order, and give them a commission for what they bring; there is, _a
wheel within a wheel_.” Another magistrate giving evidence before the
same committee, said, “It is a scandal to the Government, thus to excite
people to practise the vice of gaming for the purpose of drawing a
revenue from their ruin. It is an anomalous proceeding by law to declare
gambling infamous; to hunt out petty gamblers in their recesses, and
cast them into prison; and by law also to set up the giant gambling of
the State Lottery, and encourage persons to resort to it by the most
captivating devices which ingenuity uncontrolled by moral rectitude can
invent.” This evidence may be regarded as the ultimate cause of the
suppression of lotteries, which might have dragged on an existence for a
few more years had it not been for the atrocities of the
insurance-mongers. We will now turn towards the closing scenes in this
eventful drama.

Seldom was human ingenuity more exercised than in giving public
notoriety to lottery schemes. The originators or proprietors of
lotteries used to employ a number of persons, frequently of considerable
literary ability and talent, to attract the public attention by verses,
ingenious advertisements, and decoy paragraphs in the newspapers,
engaging the attention of the readers by smart allusions to political
topics or other matters of interest, which entrapped the unwary into
lottery puffs. Thirteen thousand pounds was usually paid into the
Exchequer for duties on these and other methods of advertising practised
by the lottery people, and some of the agents spent as much as £20,000
in puffing and advertisements. Take the following as a specimen of the
puffing which marked the later days of the Lottery:--

  Before the time of Sir Isaac Newton, various notions were entertained
  concerning colours. Plato said colour was a flame issuing from bodies,
  the Indians of America believed the same, and when any person read a
  letter they believed it spoke, and blessed the paper in proportion as
  they were moved by it. What emotions would the following billet
  excite? “The bearer may receive one hundred thousand pounds.” This
  would make a deep impression on the natives of every country, and may
  now be realised; for by the present Grand Lottery a single ticket may
  bestow on the Bearer One Hundred Thousand Pounds.

Here is another of the same ingenious description, which kept the trap
constantly baited for the unsuspecting:--

  DUEL.--On Friday last a meeting took place near Plymouth, between
  Capt. G---- and Lieut. R----, both of the Royal Navy, when, after
  exchanging shots, happily without effect, the seconds interfered and
  amicably adjusted the dispute. The following is said to have been the
  cause of the duel:--Lieut. R---- had dreamt three successive nights
  that a certain number would be a prize of £3000, in the ensuing
  lottery, which he mentioned to Captain G----, but never intimated any
  intention of having that ticket; he, however, wrote up to his agent in
  London to procure it, who found the Captain was beforehand with him,
  as he had got it the day before, and refused to give it up. By the
  intercession of the seconds, it is settled that they are each to have
  half the ticket, and as they are both very meritorious officers, we
  sincerely wish they may have one of the numerous Capital Prizes with
  which the scheme abounds.

The most stupendous efforts were made to promote the success of the last
lottery, which, however, languished sadly. The price of tickets was
arbitrarily raised, to induce a belief that they were in great demand,
“at the very moment when,” says Hone, writing immediately afterwards,
“their sale was notoriously at a stand; and the lagging attention of the
public of the metropolis was endeavoured to be quickened by all sorts of
stratagems to the 18th of July, as the very last chance that would occur
in England of gaining ‘Six 30,000_l._ besides other Capitals,’ which it
was positively affirmed were ‘all to be drawn’ on that fatal day.”
Besides the dispersion of innumerable bills and aspersions on Government
for extinguishing the Lottery, those most interested in its preservation
caused London and the suburbs to be paraded by a most magnificent
procession, in which was a band of music which played to attract
attention, and then a man stepped forward, and ringing a bell, announced
the death of the Lottery. Cartloads of bills were showered down areas
and thrust under doors, and no effort was spared to make the end crown
the work of centuries.

Chief among the office-keepers of the period was a Mr T. Bish--one of
whose earlier prospectuses we present in exact facsimile--who showered
millions of bills and miles of doggerel verse upon London just before
the final draw took place. He had been a considerable adept in the art
of puffing by means of the mock news-paragraphs to which reference has
just been made, one of his best being that which follows:--

  A laughable circumstance occurred at the Opera House a few evenings
  since. The Honourable Mrs H---- C---- in the confusion that takes
  place in the lobby on quitting the theatre, dropped her reticule, and
  was some minutes before she regained it; when on looking at its
  contents she exclaimed: “I have lost my duplicates!” This created
  surprise, not that the company had any doubt when the lady pledged her
  word, but they thought she had pledged her jewels. However, on
  enquiry, it was found that the lost duplicates were Two Tickets of one
  number (which she had purchased that evening) in the Lottery to be
  drawn the next Tuesday; luckily she soon after found them, and
  anticipates getting £20,000, as she had procured them at Bish’s
  well-known office, Charing Cross.

[Illustration:

  If U R
  a man struggling to get through the world
  or surrounded by crosses
  or if you wish to lay
  by a Fortune for your
  Children
  go to Bish or his Agents
  WHO MAY MAKE YOU
  independent and above the frowns of the world

  By the purchase of a Ticket or Share in the New Lottery, to be all
  drawn in Two Days, 5^{th} and 18^{th} OCTOBER. Two of £20,000, Two of
  £10,000, &c. All Sterling Money. All the 4500 Tickets drawn the First
  Day are sure to be Prizes.

  Two of £10,000 in the First Quarter of an Hour. Only 7600 Tickets.

  (_See the Scheme._)

  If _you are a man struggling to get through the world, or surrounded
  by crosses; or_ if _you wish to_ lay _by_ a _Fortune for your
  Children_, go to _BISH or_ his _Agents_, who may make you
  _independent, and_ above the frowns of the _world_.

  Tickets and Shares are selling by

  BISH       CONTRACTOR
          FOR ANOTHER LOTTERY
  4, CORNHILL, & 9, CHARING-CROSS, LONDON, and by
  ALL HIS AGENTS IN THE COUNTRY

]

It would be impossible here to give the many specimens which have been
preserved of Bish’s handiwork just before the close of the lotteries,
but from an _embarras de richesses_ we select the following:--

  BISH.

  _The Last Man._

  In reminding his best friends, the public, that the State Lottery will
  be drawn this day, 3d May, Bish acquaints them that it is the _very
  last but one_ that will ever take place in this kingdom; and he is

  THE LAST CONTRACTOR

  whose name will appear _singly_ before the public, as the very last
  will be a coalition of all the usual contractors. Bish being “the last
  man” who appears singly, has been particularly anxious to make an
  excellent scheme, and flatters himself the one he has the honour to
  submit must meet universal approbation.

At the back of the bill were some verses after the style of the
“Cajolery Duet.” This is one of them:--

  TO-DAY, OR NOT AT ALL.

  _Run Neighbours, Run!_

          Run, neighbours, run! To-day it is the Lott’ry draws,
            You still may be in time if your purse be low;
          Rhino, we all know, will stop of poverty the flaws.
            Possessed of that, you’ll find no one to serve you slow.
    The ministers in Parliament of lotteries have toll’d the knell,
    And have declared from Cooper’s Hall dame Fortune soon they will
      expel;
    The Blue-coat boys no more will shout that they have drawn a
      capital!
    Nor run as though their necks they’d break to _Lucky Bish_ the news
      to tell.
                                      Run, neighbours, run, &c.

Although the last lottery was expected to take place on the 18th of
July, it was not until the 18th of October that the closing scene in an
eventful history took place. For this Bish, among many other handbills,
produced the following:--

  THE AMBULATOR’S GUIDE
  TO THE LAND OF PLENTY.

  BY PURCHASING A TICKET
  _in the present Lottery_

  You may _reap_ a golden _harvest_ in _Cornhill_, and pick up the
  _bullion_ in _Silver_-street, have an interest in _Bank-buildings_,
  possess a _Mansion-house_ in _Golden-square_, and an estate like a
  _Little Britain_; never be in _Hunger_ford-market, but all your life
  continue a _Mayfair_.

  BY PURCHASING A HALF,

  You need never be confined within _London Wall_, but become the
  proprietor of many a _Long Acre_; represent a _Borough_ or an
  _Aldermanbury_, and have a share in _Threadneedle-street_.

  BY PURCHASING A QUARTER,

  Your affairs need never be in _Crooked-lane_, nor your legs in
  _Fetter-lane_; you may avoid _Paper-buildings_, steer clear of the
  _King’s Bench_, and defy the _Marshalsea_; if your heart is in
  _Love-lane_ you may soon get into _Sweeting’s Alley_, obtain your
  lover’s consent for _Matrimony-place_, and always live in a
  _High-street_.

[Illustration: ADVERTISING THE LAST STATE LOTTERY DRAWN IN ENGLAND.
1826.]

  BY PURCHASING AN EIGHTH,

  You may secure plenty of _provision_ for _Swallow-street_; finger the
  _Cole_ in _Coleman-street_; and may never be troubled with
  _Chancery-lane_. You may cast _anchor_ in _Cable-street_; set up
  business in a _Fore-street_; and need never be confined within a
  _Narrow-wall_.

  BY PURCHASING A SIXTEENTH,

  You may live _frugal_ in _Cheapside_; get merry in
  _Liquorpond-street_; soak your _hide_ in _Leather-lane_; be a _wet
  sole_ in _Shoe-lane_; turn _maltster_ in _Beer-lane_, or _hammer_ away
  in _Smithfield_.

  In short, life must indeed be a _Long-lane_ if it’s without a
  _turning_. Therefore, if you are wise, without _Mincing_ the matter,
  go _Pall-mall_ to _Cornhill_ or _Charing-cross_, and enroll your name
  in the _Temple_ of Fortune,

  BISH’S.

Advertisements in the newspapers were not, however, plentiful. The
office-keepers seemed to prefer the pomp and circumstance of processions
and bands and funeral speeches, to the cold respectability which was
just then part of the newspaper system. Bish had many eccentric
illustrations in his handbills, and some of his verses went beyond even
the bounds of eccentricity. As the eventful day approached, the efforts
in the handbill line redoubled, and people were provided with waste
paper for an indefinite period; but there was little to notice in the
columns of any of the chief journals. On October 7, 1826, a public
notice appeared on the front page of the _Times_, in company with the
advertisements of Swift and Eyton, two office-keepers; but whether it
was placed there by order of the “powers that be,” or was in the
interests of the dealers, we must leave our readers to judge for
themselves. The latter seems most probable:--

  PUBLIC NOTICE.--The Licenses granted by 4th Geo. IV. cap. 60, to the
  Lottery-office-keepers, to sell and divide into shares State Lottery
  Tickets, will cease and determine on Wednesday the 18th of this month,
  when all the Six Prizes of £30,000, and every other prize, amounting
  to £389,000, must be decided, and all Lotteries end in this kingdom.
  Government, having already given extra time for the sale of tickets,
  will not grant an hour beyond the 18th instant.

Hazard was the rather appropriate name of another promoter whose
advertisements are published just at this time; but they are, as are the
others, small and unpretentious when in the newspapers, and are only
noticeable as records of the finishing days of the great State Lottery.
In the _Times_ of October 13 there is this notice, which was repeated on
the 16th and 17th, on the last-named date having the word “to-morrow”
inserted instead of “next Wednesday:”--

  DRAWING of the LOTTERY.--Whereas it is maliciously asserted by an
  Anonymous Correspondent in the Morning Chronicle of this day, that
  application would be made to the Lords of the Treasury for a further
  Postponement of the Lottery, the Public are most unequivocally and
  positively assured by the Contractors that no such application has
  been made, nor even contemplated; but on the contrary, it is
  absolutely and inevitably determined by Government, that this last of
  all lotteries shall and must be decided NEXT WEDNESDAY, 18th instant.

On the day before the drawing, the advertisements in the _Times_ showed
that great apathy existed, and that the tickets had not gone off well,
as the office-keepers had evidently many yet left on hand. Even the
advertisements have a dispirited appearance:--

  FINISH of LOTTERIES.--SWIFT and Co. respectfully inform the Public
  that the last and only day of drawing the STATE LOTTERY is Wednesday
  the 18th of this month, when 6 prizes of 30,000l. and all the other
  capitals in the scheme will be determined. Every ticket will receive
  5l. independent of any sum to which it may be entitled. In the last
  Lottery containing 30,000l. prizes Swift and Co. sold two out of four
  of them at their offices 11, Poultry; 1, Strand; and 31, Aldgate
  High-street.

It is almost evident that the Lottery was “played out” on its own
merits, and that the interference of Parliament only hastened the end so
far as concerns the important events. Another firm of contractors put
forth a final appeal thus:--

  THE LAST of ALL, TO-MORROW, 18th October.--J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT,
  Contractors, most positively assure the Public that--

  To-morrow, Six of 30,000l. must be drawn.

  To-morrow, 389,000l. will be decided.

  To-morrow, all Lotteries end in this kingdom.

  To gain a Prize of 30,000l. you must buy THIS DAY.

  Tickets and Shares are selling by J. and J. SIVEWRIGHT, Contractors,
  37, Cornhill; 11, Holborn; and 38, Haymarket; who shared and sold
  12,478, a prize of 30,000l.; 3,613, 21,055l.; and in the last Lottery,
  1,783, a prize of 21,000l.; and 3,925, a prize of 21,000l.

On the fatal day itself the only noticeable advertisement in the _Times_
is that of Bish, which is the same as had been running for some little
time, and which on the 18th of October 1826, with the word “this day,”
instead of what had appeared before, stood thus, a specimen of the last
newspaper appeal in regard to a forthcoming State lottery:--

  THE inevitable and absolute FINISH of LOTTERIES, THIS DAY.--BISH, in
  soliciting for the last time the favours of his best friends, the
  Public, assures them that,

  This Day, a Ticket must gain            £30,000
  This Day, a Half must gain               15,000
  This Day a Quarter must gain              7,500
  This Day an Eighth must gain              3,750
  This Day a Sixteenth must gain            1,875
  This Day, all the Six of £30,000 will be drawn,
    every number decided, and every ticket a
    Prize.
  This Day, 18th instant, all lotteries end for ever.

  Tickets and Shares are selling by BISH, Stockbroker, 4, Cornhill, and
  9, Charing-cross, who shared and sold, within the last 12 months, 5
  prizes of 30,000l. and 9 of 20,000l., and in the very last drawing, 3d
  of May, No. 1,833 (Class B), 21,000l., and 3,925 (Class A), 21,000l.

The following is the record of the last drawing, as published in the
Thursday’s papers: “Yesterday afternoon, about half-past six o’clock,
that old servant of the State, the lottery, breathed its last, having
for a long period of years, ever since the days of Queen Anne,
contributed largely towards the public revenue of the country. This
event took place at Cooper’s Hall, Basinghall Street; and such was the
anxiety on the part of the public to witness the last drawing of the
lottery, that great numbers of persons were attracted to the spot,
independently of those who had an interest in the proceedings. The
gallery of Cooper’s Hall was crowded to excess long before the period
fixed for the drawing (five o’clock), and the utmost anxiety was felt by
those who had shares in the lottery for the arrival of the appointed
hour. The annihilation of lotteries, it will be recollected, was
determined on in the session of Parliament before last; and thus a
source of revenue, bringing into the treasury the sums of £250,000 and
£300,000 per annum will be dried up. This determination on the part of
the Legislature is hailed by far the greatest portion of the public with
joy, as it will put an end to a system which many believe to have
fostered and encouraged the late speculations, the effects of which have
been and are still severely felt. A deficiency in the public revenue to
the extent of £250,000 annually will, however, be the consequence of the
annihilation of lotteries, and it must remain for those who have
strenuously supported the putting a stop to lotteries to provide for the
deficiency.”--“Although that which ended yesterday was the last, if we
are informed correctly the lottery-office keepers have been left with a
great number of tickets remaining on their hands--a pretty strong proof
that the public in general have now no relish for these schemes.”--“The
concourse of persons in Basinghall Street was very great; indeed, the
street was almost impassable, and everybody seemed desirous of
ascertaining the fortunate numbers. In the gallery the greatest interest
was excited, as the various prizes were drawn from the wheel; and as
soon as a numbered ticket was drawn from the number wheel, every one
looked with anxiety to his share, in order to ascertain if Fortune
smiled on him. Only one instance occurred where a prize was drawn and a
number held by any individual present. The fortunate person was a little
man, who no sooner had learned that his number was a grand prize, than
he buttoned up his coat, and coolly walked off without uttering a word.
As the drawing proceeded disappointment began to succeed the hopes
indulged by those who were present. On their entrance to the hall every
face wore a cheerful appearance; but on the termination of the drawing a
strong contrast was exhibited, and the features of each were strongly
marked with dissatisfaction. The drawing commenced shortly after five
o’clock, and ended at twenty minutes past six. The doors of the various
lottery offices were also surrounded by persons awaiting the issue of
the drawing.”

[Illustration: THE LAST OF THE LOTTERIES.]

The _Times_, in a short leader--short and few were the leaders in the
_Times_ of that day--published on the Thursday, says: “Yesterday
terminated the lotteries in this country--may we say for ever? We know
not. Such a result will depend upon the wants of Government, and the
morality of its ministers. However, we rejoice at their suspension,--a
suspension which we hope we have in some degree assisted in
effecting,--yet rejoice with fear. Looking at the Stock Exchange, at the
time bargains, and at all the iniquities practised there, we have only
to hope that the place of the lotteries may not be supplied by some more
mischievous system of knavery. Time was when all the robberies were
committed on the king’s highway. The lighting, watching, and general
improvement of our roads, have nearly put an end to this practice; but
housebreaking has unfortunately taken its place! And yet the people of
England is not a gambling people like the French, as is evident from the
fate of the last lottery. We have heard that hardly half the tickets
were sold; from which it is evident, that the spirit of lottery-gambling
was extinct before the system; and if that spirit had not been kept
alive by incessant stimuli, it would have expired long ago.”

It may be as well to mention, though it is generally known, that an Act
of the 9th and 10th Vict. was passed for legalising Art Union Lotteries
within certain limits and under certain conditions. Though our chapter
has run over its length, we can hardly conclude without quoting the wise
words of Adam Smith on the subject of lotteries. “The chance of gain,”
says he, “is by every man more or less overvalued, and the chance of
loss is by most men undervalued.... The world neither ever saw, or ever
will see, a perfectly fair lottery, or one in which the whole gain
compensated the whole loss; because the undertaker could make nothing by
it. In the State lotteries the tickets are really not worth the price
which is paid by the original subscribers, and yet commonly sell in the
market for twenty, thirty, and sometimes forty per cent. advance. The
vain hope of gaining some of the greatest prizes is the sole cause of
this demand. The soberest people scarce look upon it as a folly to pay a
small sum for the chance of gaining ten or twenty thousand pounds;
though they know that even that small sum is perhaps twenty or thirty
per cent. more than the chance is worth. In a lottery in which no prize
exceeds twenty pounds, though in other respects it approach much nearer
to a perfectly fair one than the common State lotteries, there would not
be the same demand for tickets. In order to have a better chance for
some of the great prizes, some people purchase several tickets, and
others small shares in a still greater number. There is not, however, a
more certain proposition in mathematics, than that the more tickets you
adventure upon the more likely you are to be a loser. Adventure upon all
the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain; and the greater
the number of your tickets the nearer you approach to this certainty.”
Though this was written in reference to a state of affairs long past,
the lesson is not without value nowadays.

October 18, 1826, saw the last of the State lotteries, but it was long
before the smaller fry were eradicated. Conducted very quietly at first,
but after a while their promoters growing bolder, lotteries for clothes,
furniture, and, especially at Christmas-time, for food and drink, were
openly advertised under the title of “sweeps” up to comparatively recent
times. A few police prosecutions about a dozen years back improved these
relics of a past day off the face of the earth. There were, however,
still left what were called “specs,” which violated both the
Betting-House Act and the Lottery Act, and the promoters of the chief of
them in turn suffered under the majesty of the law about the period of
the raid on the commission agents referred to in a previous chapter.
Under the guises of picture and circular sales these turf lotteries are
still continued, an advertisement in a sporting paper of June 1874
giving an address in Glasgow, informing all those whom it most concerns
that the “East End Circular” has for disposal

  30,000 circulars, at 1_s._ each; the profits, about £800, will be
  distributed on

  THE DERBY.

  2000 PRIZES. FIRST, £300.

  This circular needs no recommendation. It is a fortune to all who
  invest in it. The winners of all the large races have been sent in it.
  Every purchaser has a fair chance of securing the £200. For circulars,
  1_s._ each, apply at once to E. Jones, 128, Renfield Street, Glasgow,
  or in person to any of his well-known agents.

Then follows a list of names of people living in various parts of the
kingdom who are empowered to sell the circulars. Within the past
twelvemonth certain small papers which added to their circulation by the
presentation of coupons entitling the holders to shares in lotteries for
prizes of all descriptions, received solemn warning from the Home
Office, and had to discontinue their projects. That this was wise,
considering the innocence of the arrangement, we do not think; that it
was not impartial, the notice from which we have just quoted proves. For
the Lottery Act extends to Scotland, even if the Betting Act does
not.[45]

  [40] Stow.

  [41] Stow’s Annals.

  [42] Baker’s Chronicle.

  [43] Whereas, some give out that they could never receive their Books
  after they were drawn in the first Lottery, the Author declares, and
  it will be attested, that of seven hundred Prizes that were drawn
  there were not six remaining Prizes that suffered with his in the
  Fire; for the Drawing being on the 10th of May, 1665, the Office did
  then continue open for the Delivery of the same (though the Contagion
  much raged) until the latter End of July following; and opened again,
  to attend the Delivery, in April, 1666, whither Persons repaired daily
  for their Prizes, and continued open until the Fire.

  [44] _Examiner_, October 22, 1826.

  [45] Since the above was written the Betting-House Extension Act of
  1874 has become law, and, curiously enough, has caused the cessation
  of a procedure which was rendered illegal by an Act passed nearly
  fifty years before, a fact which our detectives with proverbial
  dulness were unable to discover. This was perhaps because there was
  nothing to be got by the discovery.




CHAPTER XVII.

_MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS AND AGENCIES._


It will not be at all out of the way to assume that as long as the world
has been populated it has possessed people anxious to get married.
Marriage is the correct condition of life; indeed we have the best
authority for regarding it as one of the principal reasons of our being,
and so there is no need for wonder that many of the best-known customs
of the ancients bear upon marital rites and festivities. Marriage comes
in due course to the majority, male and female; but there are,
naturally, those who have no desire for it, and again those who have to
make effort to obtain it. There are various ways of exhibiting one’s
wares and attractions, and chief among them comes the object of our
attention--advertising. Of late years there seems, in addition to the
ordinary courses open to advertisers, to have been special arrangements
made on behalf of the unmatched, who are allowed to express their
desires and recommendations free, gratis, for nothing, in the columns of
certain cheap periodicals--the described being all beauty or virtue, or
both, when not possessed of capital. Would-be lovers are not generally
deficient in either particular when the circulating medium is thrown
into the balance as well. So that by means of the weekly publications
referred to, marriage seems a much better commercial arrangement than
that mentioned by a modern author, who, speaking of the Babylonians,
says that “Herodotus records one of their customs, which, whether in
jest or earnest, he declares to be the wisest he ever heard of. This
was their wife-auction, by which they managed to find husbands for all
their young women. The greatest beauty was put up first, and knocked
down to the highest bidder; then the next in the order of
comeliness--and so on to the damsel who was equidistant between beauty
and plainness, who was given away gratis. Then the least plain was put
up, and knocked down to the gallant who would marry her for the smallest
consideration,--and so on till even the plainest was got rid of to some
cynical worthy who decidedly preferred lucre to looks. By transferring
to the scale of the ill-favoured the prices paid for the fair, beauty
was made to endow ugliness, and the rich man’s taste was the poor man’s
gain.”

But in the representations of the wistful lovers who confide their
secrets to certain editors, ugliness has no existence among the ladies,
vice or laziness is unknown to the gentlemen, and money seems plentiful
with both, so that it remains quite a mystery how any of the intending
suitors have managed to evade Hymen for any length of time, so superior
are they to the commonplace people whom we are in the habit of seeing
settled down in sober domesticity. A writer in a miscellany a few years
back catalogued a lot of the claimants for matrimony, first in the list
being Sincere Polly, who describes herself as dark, high-spirited, and
handsome; next is Evangelina, eighteen, handsome and accomplished, who
will have £300 a year when of age; Fanny declares herself to be a
sweet-tempered and pretty girl, just seventeen; Annie Everard endeavours
to attract by her modesty in saying that she is eighteen, and not
beautiful, only pretty; and Viola offers inducement in describing
herself as seventeen, and Irish, merry, lively, and inclined to be
stout. These ask for the carte-de-visite of a Captain Compass who
advertised previously. Following these young and lovely females comes
Blanche, who describes herself as a slight, graceful girl of eighteen,
with dreamy violet eyes and golden rippling hair, shading a face of
rare and delicate loveliness. She is a great admirer of soldiers, a
lover of the chase, and all field sports. This enchanting creature is
very anxious for Albert’s carte-de-visite. Who is Albert, and what has
he done, that he of all men should be singled out to carry off this
flower of creation? “But,” says the writer to whom we have referred, who
seems quite unable to swallow the description, in which he is very
different from ourselves, as we would never contradict a lady, “the
morbid curiosity of the human mind goes a step farther, and seeks to
picture Blanche--not the Blanche of Blanche’s vivid imagination, but
Blanche herself. Two alternatives present themselves. She may be a stout
little milliner in a Camden-town shop; or--_horribile dictu!_--a waggish
cook, with a turned-up nose, underdone arms and cheeks to match. The
ideal Blanche fades away as we contemplate these possibilities. We pity
Albert. We hope he will not waste his hardly-earned money in the
vanities of photography, and cordially wish him a comfortable married
state with a more earthly maiden, now that this too celestial vision
dies back into dream-land. There is but one young person who approaches
the ideal Blanche; and she calls herself ‘Sparkling with Gems.’ She is
(on her own authority, be it always understood) a young, pretty, and
accomplished Irish girl, with blue eyes, pearly teeth, and a wealth of
golden ringlets, who is considered very stylish and graceful-looking, is
of a loving disposition, and will have an income in her own right, and
she wishes for the carte-de-visite of a young gentleman, who must be
tall, dark, and handsome, of good family and position, and either of the
military or medical profession. ‘Kill or cure’ is this young lady’s
principle in choosing a husband; but we should say that so attractive a
bride, with a wealth of golden ringlets, an income in her own right, and
what not, ought certainly to fall into the hands (or arms) of a dashing
young officer, whose want of an income in his own right is generally the
chief drawback from the amenities of his profession.” Constance is
already possessed of £500 a year, and limits her hopes to a husband with
£200 of income. But he must be fair, of the middle height, and
nice-looking. Eunice has no money at all; but she has very dark hair and
eyes, rosy complexion, and is domestic. Here again our cynic shows his
scepticism: “Had the indefinite article been placed before the last word
in her catalogue of qualities, the description would probably have been
complete.” Poor Jane says: “Why should I become a nun against my wish,
merely because my father wishes it? I suppose he wishes to get married
again, and I am in his way. I can say without flattery that I am near
twenty, have a very graceful figure, very handsome, and between the
medium height, a first-class pianist, and capable of making any
gentleman a good wife. I possess no money. I am a lady, very domestic,
and am quite certain that I am worthy of a good husband.” Poor Jane! her
notions of the descriptive are rather vague, and so are her ideas of
what is a lady. But as we once knew a writer of stories for the
periodical in which her description appears who considered it beneath
the dignity of a gentleman to spell properly, Jane is, perhaps, quite
right in her estimate of herself according to the code under which she
was instructed.

Some of the gentlemen in this same catalogue deserve attention. As a
rule, they seem to consider “proputty” the best qualification, though if
other advantages are thrown in they will not be objected to. Let us pick
out from the herd Gauntlet, who says that he is a gentleman of good
standing in society, a widower, forty, but looks much younger, of middle
height, highly respected in his own neighbourhood, and is possessed of
upwards of £8000 at command; he wishes to meet with a lady younger than
himself, and with means equal to his own. Then there is R. S., who has
£100 a year, is of like opinion as to the proportion of money his bride
ought to bring, and would like to become acquainted with a young lady of
similar income, or one who has a talent for elocution or singing. Our
author, after exhausting his list, admits that the young gentlemen who
advertise in the penny journals are far less mercenary than the young
ladies. “The latter betray quite a rapacity with regard to a good
income, are very explicit about it, and put down in plain figures the
precise sum which they think their charms are worth. By what means the
acquaintanceship begun in these advertising columns is continued and
completed we are unable to say. As a preliminary the editor kindly
undertakes the charge of photographs; but of the steps by which the
contracting parties advance to the goal of their wishes we know nothing.
We should think that the proprietors of the journal ought to keep an
attorney on the premises, to see that the gentlemen who offer £8000 are
acting in good faith.” Had further inspection been given to the page in
which these requisitions appear, the critic would have learned that,
when second steps are taken, communication is made through a newspaper
belonging to the same proprietary as the penny journal, and would have
seen that “all advertisements must be prepaid.” But we are beginning at
the wrong end, and must retrace our steps for the purpose of renewing
acquaintance with our old friend Houghton, the father of English
advertising, who, in his _Collection_ of July 19, 1695, says:--

  ⁂ I have undertaken to advertize all sorts of Things that are
  honourable, and what follows is not otherwise, and I am well paid for
  it:

  ☞ A ^Gentleman^ about 30 Years of Age, that says he has a ^Very Good
  Estate^, would willingly ^Match^ Himself to some ^Young Gentlewoman^
  that has a Fortune of £3000 or thereabout, And he will make Settlement
  to content.

  When it shall appear that I am candid and no otherwise concerned than
  in bringing two Elderly Persons to a Treaty; and the nine Days Wonder
  and Laughter (usually attending new Things) are over, and that Nobody
  shall know Anything of the Matter, but where I shall reasonably
  believe they are in good earnest; then ’tis probable such
  Advertisements may prove very useful.

  A ^Young Man^ about 25 Years of Age, in a very good Trade, and whose
  Father will make him worth £1000, would willingly embrace a suitable
  ^Match^. He has been brought up a Dissenter with his Parents, and is a
  sober Man.

It seems the public either did not believe in the reality of these
advertisements, or were suspicious of the advertisers, for a few weeks
after the editor thought necessary to declare again:--

  ⁂ _These Proposals for Matches are real, and I do promise to manage
  them and such like with so much Secresie and Prudence that none shall
  discourse with their best Friends, with more Confidence of Fidelity
  than with me, let them be of what Rank soever._

Notwithstanding these honest statements, Houghton appears to have been
sadly teased on account of this innovation, for shortly after the above
he once more attempted an explanation:--

  I thought what I said before about Matches, was very intelligible, but
  I find otherwise: The Case is thus:

  A. comes to me and says: his Friend has a Kinsman that he would be
  glad to have match’d, and he is a sober, well-bred, comely,
  understanding Man, and in so good an Employment, that with his Fortune
  he shall deserve a vertuous, well-bred, discreet, comely Wife with a
  Fortune of £1000, but his Kinsman has not much Acquaintance and is
  bashful. This I publish and then comes B. and says his Friend has a
  Kinswoman qualified as above, and he would gladly match her to such if
  it be real. Upon this I bring the two that speak to me, together, and
  if they can understand each other they carry on the Match: and if it
  succeed, I shall expect some small Consideration, and this is what I
  intend to be concerned in the Matter.

This explanation seems to have been thought satisfactory, and no doubt
eligible parties left their names and addresses with him, for a few
weeks after the _Collection for Improvement of Husbandry and Trade_
contained the following:--

  I know of several Men and Women whose Friends would gladly have them
  match’d, which I’ll endeavour to do, as from Time to Time I shall hear
  of such whose Circumstances are likely to agree; and I’ll assure such
  as will come to me it shall be done with all the Honour and Secrecy
  imaginable. Their own Parents shall not manage it more to their
  Satisfaction, and the more comes to me the better I shall be able to
  serve them.

We have already, in an early portion of this book, dilated on the claims
Houghton has on the gratitude of past and present advertisers, and so we
will pass on to the next specimen on our list, which appears in the
_Gazetteer_ of December 14, 1771:--

  TO GENTLEMEN OF FORTUNE.

  A MOST advantageous Opportunity now offers to any young Gentleman of
  Character and independent Fortune; the Advertiser of this will
  introduce such to a most accomplished young Lady of Fortune, and
  greater Expectancy. None but a real Gentleman will succeed: therefore
  it is desired no other would apply. Letters directed to P. L. at the
  Nottingham Coffee-house, opposite Great Turnstile, Holborn, mentioning
  their present Condition, and where to inquire of the specified
  Particulars, signed with their own Name, will have due Regard and
  Honour, and Secrecy observed as it is required.

From this and kindred notices in the papers of a hundred years ago or
so, it would appear that certain young ladies were kept, like the fabled
damsels of old, each in an enchanted castle, until some knight should
appear to break the spell. With just this difference, that not chivalry
but cheque-books was the requisition, and that the dragon, instead of
being punished by the avenging sword, was rewarded with the “usual
percentage.” In 1775 the following handbill must have been pretty
familiar to residents in London:--

  _No. 2, Dover Street, St. James’s._

  MARRIAGE TREATIES

  Carried on, and solely calculated for such Persons as can give the
  best Proof of being (totally) at their own Disposal.

  THE open undisguised Manner in which this truly important Business is
  pursued, will best appear by the following Plan, which is humbly
  submitted to the Judgment of the Public. Negociation of Money is also
  transacted at the House, where widow Ladies, Clergy, and other
  Gentlemen, may possibly be accommodated with Sums on granting
  Annuities, or otherwise, as may be agreed upon.

  The great Utility of this Undertaking, especially that Department of
  it relative to Marriage, is so very striking, that it seems to bespeak
  the Approbation of this great Metropolis, where _Business_ may almost
  be said to have rivall’d _Marriage_; for it not only robs the
  Gentlemen of their Time, but the Ladies of their Lovers. Now this
  House in Dover Street is established to supply the Time that is
  wanting; and Courtships may be carried on by Way of Proxy to their
  final Issue: thus will the Gentleman save his Time, and the Lady gain
  a Husband; and it will be readily allowed that happy Marriages are the
  very Cement of Society, the Promoters of Virtue, and may be truly said
  to strike at the very Root of Dissipation.

  Upon these honourable, these eligible Principles, it is that the
  Managers of this Undertaking ground all their Hopes; nor have they
  ventured to announce it to the Public without the maturest
  Deliberation, after having considered it in every Point of View; and
  dare assure the World, that the most upright Conduct, greatest
  Delicacy and inviolable Secrecy shall be observed in all their
  Proceedings; and as this Plan bids fair for the Happiness of
  Thousands, so will it soon put a Stop to those futile, trifling (not
  to say dangerous) Advertisements that so frequently invade the public
  Ear, and which seem but too often calculated to deceive.

  As to the Proprietors themselves, some of them are well known in the
  City, and others are not totally Strangers in the polite Circle; which
  puts it still more in their Power to promote the Design, and that not
  more upon the Principles of Love and Honour, than those of Sense and
  Discretion.

  Each Person who appears at Dover Street (aforesaid) will be shown into
  a separate Apartment. Such as cannot attend in Person, are requested
  to signify their Intention by their Friend in Writing; and it is hoped
  and presumed that such Recital will be made with the utmost Exactness;
  and not only the Situation in Life, but the Age, Constitution, and
  Religion of the Party set forth with all possible Accuracy and
  Candour.

  It hardly seems needful to add, that so much Time and Thought cannot
  be supposed to have been laid out without a reasonable Recompense;
  therefore it will be quite necessary, when the Principals do not
  appear (which may not unfrequently happen), that their Agents shall
  have been apprised that the Terms upon which this truly important
  Matter is commenced, is no more than FIVE GUINEAS, to be paid to the
  Managers on taking down the Minutes of the Business; and no more is to
  be paid till after the Matter is completed, either by supplying the
  Sum of Money according to Agreement, or by the Marriage of the Parties
  in Question: and although the Managers claim no more than FIVE
  GUINEAS, yet (it is presumed) so small a Sum will not be deemed an
  adequate Compensation, when Business of Consequence is to be done, and
  Persons of Condition and liberal Sentiment concerned.

  The Proprietors are to be spoken with from eleven in the Morning till
  four in the Afternoon, and from seven in the Evening till ten at Night
  (as many cannot attend before that Time) every Day, Sunday excepted;
  and as it is manifest that many Gentlemen both in Court and City, are
  so absorbed in Business, that though they are happy in the Thought of
  Marriage, and every Way qualified to engage in it, yet may have
  neither Time nor Temper for the tedious Forms of Courtship; and as it
  is also manifest that many excellent Women are, in a great Measure,
  lost to Society, lost (as we may say) to the tender Joys of Hymen; and
  who, tied down by Custom to be passive, cannot be first Movers in a
  Point so delicate; to shun, therefore, all unnecessary Forms (for true
  Sincerity, we know, cannot exist with too much Ceremony), it is hoped
  that the above Expedient will be adopted, and that each Person, in
  Town or Country, who employs an Agent, will signify their Intention so
  clearly, and candidly, that the Managers may have it in their Power to
  compleat the Business, and that as soon as possible.

  And although it is said above that the Ladies cannot be first Movers
  in some certain Points, yet, sure, they are not debarred the use of
  Agents; nor does true Modesty demand the Sacrifice of Sense.

  _Note_, Sums of Money, from Five Hundred Pounds to any Amount
  whatsoever, may be had, and that upon the shortest Notice, and most
  equitable Terms. Every Proposal that is practicable will be compleated
  without Trifling or Delay.

  It would be superfluous to trouble the Public about the Characters of
  the Proprietors of this House for Honour and Delicacy, as it could not
  possibly subsist without such a Foundation; therefore the Nobility,
  Gentry, and other Persons may depend on being accommodated with any
  Sum, as above, without Loss of Time.

  Persons who have Monies to lend, as well as those who have Occasion to
  borrow, may both be accommodated at Dover Street aforesaid.

These handbills being largely circulated, and advertisements being
inserted in the principal newspapers at the same time, the establishment
enjoyed its full share of notice. At a masked ball given by Mrs
Cornelys,[46] on the 16th of July 1776, one of the characters was a
Jew, with a label in his hat inscribed with the words “Marriage
Treaties,” who delivered to the company the following card:--

  THE MARRIAGE BROKER

  Accommodates Ladies and Gentlemen with everything in the matrimonial
  way which their Hearts can wish for (Virtue and Money only excepted),
  and that at first sight of the Parties, having fitted up a variety of
  very commodious Apartments.--He deals either in the ton or City Stile.
  If a difficult case, apply to our Attorney General, who attends me
  here in Person. N.B. I only charge five Guineas poundage per couple.

  MARRIAGE TREATIES.

    Ye Nymphs forlorn, who pine away in Shades!
    Ye mournful Widows, wailing for--Brocades!
    Coxcombs who sigh for--Mode! and sighing Wits!
    Bucks of St. James’s! and ye Half-moon’d Cits!
    Ye old and young--the ugly and the fair!
    To Hymen’s Shrine haste, sacrifice despair.
    Let Law divorce, tyrannic Husbands rail,
    Hence dare their Ire!--for here’s enough for sale.
    Let Virtue’s mask the Wife awhile pursue,
    Here’s fresh Supply--here Wives of ev’ry Hue!
    Black, white, red, grey--the bright, the dull, the witty!
    Here’s Dames for Courtiers, misses for the City!

In the August number of the _Town and Country Magazine_, 1776, a
correspondent who signs himself “Lothario,” wrote a letter to warn the
public against the Dover Street Marriage Office. It states that, having
paid his five guineas, he had his name entered on the list of candidates
for matrimony, and that in due course of time he received a letter,
intimating that a lady, conforming minutely to the conditions for which
he had stipulated, wanted a husband exactly like himself. The lady,
after some formalities, gave him an appointment in Gray’s Inn Gardens,
describing her dress; and in order that she might not be mistaken in the
gentleman (for till then the parties had not seen each other), she
desired that he should have a large nosegay in his hand, bound round
with a blue ribbon, which he was to present to her as an introduction to
their conference. Unfortunately the lady turned out to be an old
acquaintance of the gay Lothario, and by no means the sort of person he
could have desired for a wife. This exposition of the matrimonial
swindle was answered by the company, with the following advertisement in
the _Morning Post_, October 17, 1776:--

  TO THE CANDID AND IMPARTIAL.

  ON perusing the Town and Country Magazine of August last, Page 408,
  there appears a Letter in which the Author throws out a very
  illiberal, unjust Assertion, viz., that any new Plan or Scheme that is
  offered to the Public is founded upon Imposition; and then goes on to
  recite an elaborate Tale of his having paid five Guineas to the
  Managers of the Marriage-Plan, and of his obtaining the promise of a
  Wife with £10,000 on declaring himself worth treble that Sum. Now the
  Managers of that Undertaking are called upon to assert, that they are
  equally unacquainted with the Villa or with the Lady he mentions (not
  but it would be their Pride and Boast for such as resolve to return
  to the Paths of Virtue and Honour); and they further declare that
  every Line of this Letter that reflects the least Dishonour on them,
  and that does not set their Undertaking in the fairest Point of View,
  is utterly groundless.

  _Note_, The Managers of said Plan, in Dover Street, finding that the
  Payment of five Guineas has been thought by some too much on the
  Commencement, have resolved to reduce that Payment to the Sum of two
  Guineas for the Future to each Gentleman who may apply; and to give
  the World some Proof that the Managers are no Deceivers, they will
  return, on Demand, the three Guineas overplus, to such who have paid
  the five above mentioned.

  Ladies of Reputation are invited gratis, and the Managers shall think
  themselves highly honoured, as well as amply rewarded, by their
  Appearance, which must add true Dignity to a Plan where their Felicity
  is consulted, without trespassing on their Delicacy.

  ⁂ Counsellor Taite, one of the Managers, will carefully answer all
  Letters, or other Applications relative to Money Negotiations, and has
  the Disposal of several large Sums for that Purpose.

Like its predecessors and followers in quackery and cheating, the Dover
Street establishment died of itself in due course, and its promoters
doubtless turned their attention to new swindles. In the _Daily
Advertiser_ of 1777 the following is discovered, and is noticeable for
the horse-couping manner in which the young gentleman speaks of the
future bride who is to assist him in setting up housekeeping. He must
have had some trouble in finding such a thoroughbred filly as he
requires:--

  MATRIMONY.

  WANTED, by a young Gentleman just beginning House-keeping, a Lady,
  between eighteen and twenty-five Years of Age, with a good Education,
  and a Fortune not less than 5,000_l._; sound Wind and Limb, Five Feet
  Four Inches without her Shoes; not fat, nor yet too lean; a clear
  Skin; sweet Breath, with good Set of Teeth; no Pride, nor Affectation;
  not very talkative, nor one that is deemed no Scold; but of a Spirit
  to resent an Affront; of a charitable Disposition; not over fond of
  Dress, though always decent and clean; that will entertain her
  Husband’s Friends with Affability and Cheerfulness, and prefer his
  Company to public Diversions and gadding about; one who can keep his
  Secrets, that he may open his Heart to her without reserve on all
  Occasions; that can extend domestic Expenses with Economy, as
  Prosperity advances, without Ostentation; and retrench them with
  Cheerfulness, if Occasion should require.

  Any Lady disposed to Matrimony, answering this Description, is desired
  to direct for Y. Z. at the Baptist’s Head Coffee-House, Aldermanbury.

  N.B. None but Principals will be treated with, nor need any apply that
  are deficient in any one Particular: the Gentleman can make adequate
  Return, and is, in every Respect, deserving a Lady with the above
  Qualifications.

Getting on towards the present day, we come across an advertisement in
the _Courier_ of May 1815 from a lady who, like the gentleman we have
just attended to, wants a good deal for the money. Unlike him, however,
she is not young, and so should know better than to ask for a
combination of impossibilities in a husband, when, according to her own
showing, she should be glad to get a very ordinary creature indeed:--

  MATRIMONY.--A Lady, tremblingly alive to the impropriety of this
  address, is nevertheless compelled, from the family discomforts she
  now endures, to adopt this method of obtaining a friend and protector;
  and she is quite certain, that a candid explanation of her situation,
  will excuse, with a liberal mind, this apparently indecorous appeal.
  The Advertiser has been married, is middle-aged, of pleasing
  appearance, highly educated, and accomplished; but, she flatters
  herself, the regulations of her heart and mind exceed all outward
  recommendation: her income is very small, and only just sufficient to
  enable her to make the appearance of a gentlewoman. The being she is
  desirous of looking up to for happiness, must be, by birth, far above
  the middling class of society; and all professions, except the Church,
  the Army, or Navy, will be objected to; about forty, but not under
  that age; very tall, of gentlemanlike appearance, and possessing that
  polish, and those habits, that are only to be acquired in good
  company; of an unimpeached, moral, respectable, and honourable
  character, fond of retirement and domestic life. Fortune not being the
  object of the Advertiser, she requires his income only to be equal to
  his own wants; and she will never lessen it. As the most serious and
  painful causes have occasioned this Address, it is earnestly solicited
  that no one will reply to it from curiosity or amusement; and persons
  who seek fortune, connections, or any other worldly advantage, will
  only be disappointed by noticing it; but should it meet the eye of a
  being whose mind is sufficiently cultivated to consider a well-born,
  elegant, and accomplished companion, and sincere friend, the first
  treasure in life, from such she will be glad to hear; and real names
  and addresses will be considered a pledge of sincerity that will not
  be abused. Letters must be post paid, and addressed to O. P. Q.,
  Two-penny Post-office, Blandford-street, Portman-square.

In December 1818 there appeared in _Galignani_ an application from the
scion of a distinguished though unfortunate family who was anxious to
enter into the holy state. It was called

  OFFER OF MARRIAGE.

  COUNT SARSFIELD, Lord Lucan, descendant of the royal branches of
  Lorraine and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, wishes to contract
  an alliance with a lady capable from her rank and talents of
  supporting the dignity and titles, which an alliance so honourable
  would confer on her. Address, Poste Restante à Paris.

The name of Sarsfield is highly distinguished in the military annals of
Ireland: during the eventful period subsequent to the expulsion of James
II. from England, Sarsfield was General-in-Chief of the Irish troops,
and was one of those who took advantage of the capitulation of Limerick
to transfer himself and family to another country. But for all his great
name and historical associations, this Sarsfield was but a poor
adventurer; for he did not succeed in getting any rich parvenue to
nibble at his bait, as is evidenced by this, which seven years
afterwards appeared in a London newspaper:--

  COUNT SARSFIELD LUCAN, lineal descendant of the royal line of Lorraine
  and Capet, and other sovereigns of Europe, desires to join in an
  alliance of marriage with a lady whose qualities and abilities will
  enable her to support the rank and titles she will obtain by this
  honourable alliance. Address to Count Sarsfield Lucan, Poste Restante
  à Paris.

In a handbill circulated about the year 1820, a “new matrimonial plan”
is ventilated. The advertiser states that he possesses “an establishment
where persons of all classes who are anxious to sweeten life by
repairing to the _altar of Hymen_, have an opportunity of meeting with
proper partners.... Their personal attendance is not absolutely
necessary, a statement of facts is all that is required at first.” The
method propounded was for all anxious to secure husbands or wives to
become subscribers to the institution, the amount of subscription to be
regulated according to the class in which they place themselves, the
classes being described thus in the plan:--

  _Ladies._

  1st Class.  I am twenty years of age, heiress to an estate in the
              county of Essex of the value of 30,000_l._, well educated,
              and of domestic habits; of an agreeable, lively
              disposition, and genteel figure. Religion that of my
              future husband.

  2nd Class.  I am thirty years of age, a widow, in the grocery line in
              London--have children; of middle stature, full made, fair
              complexion and hair, temper agreeable, worth 3,000_l._

  3rd Class.  I am tall and thin, a little lame in the hip, of a lively
              disposition, conversible, twenty years of age, live with
              my father, who, if I marry with his consent, will give me
              1,000_l._

  4th Class.  I am twenty years of age; mild disposition and manners;
              allowed to be personable.

  5th Class.  I am sixty years of age; income limited; active, and
              rather agreeable.

  _Gentlemen._

  1st Class.  A young gentleman with dark eyes and hair; stout made;
              well educated; have an estate of 500_l._ per annum in the
              county of Kent; besides 10,000_l._ in three per cent.
              consolidated annuities; am of an affable disposition, and
              very affectionate.

  2nd Class.  I am forty years of age, tall and slender, fair complexion
              and hair, well tempered and of sober habits, have a
              situation in the Excise, of 300_l._ per annum, and a small
              estate in Wales of the annual value of 150_l._

  3rd Class.  A tradesman in the city of Bristol, in a ready-money
              business, turning 150_l._ per week at a profit of 10 per
              cent., pretty well tempered, lively, and fond of home.

  4th Class.  I am fifty-eight years of age; a widower, without
              encumbrance; retired from business upon a small income;
              healthy constitution; and of domestic habits.

  5th Class.  I am twenty-five years of age; a mechanic of sober habits;
              industrious, and of respectable connections.

  It is presumed that the public will not find any difficulty in
  describing themselves; if they should, they will have the assistance
  of the managers, who will be in attendance at the office, No. 5, Great
  St. Helens, Bishopsgate Street, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,
  between the hours of eleven and three o’clock.--Please to inquire for
  Mr Jameson, up one pair of stairs. All letters to be post paid.

  The subscribers are to be furnished with a list of descriptions, and
  when one occurs likely to suit, the parties may correspond; and if
  mutually approved, the interview may be afterwards arranged.

About 1840, some adventurers anxious to emulate the success achieved by
matrimonial agencies in Paris and other towns on the Continent, set up
an office in the neighbourhood of Cavendish Square, and issued a
prospectus, which stated that it was written by a clergyman of the
Church of England, who was also a graduate of the University of
Oxford--a kind of double guarantee as to purity of morals and excellence
of style--and which, after setting forth the advantages of such an
establishment properly conducted, and the success which had attended on
similar ventures in other countries where people were less prejudiced,
went on thus:--

  It is conducted by a gentleman and his wife, both persons of the
  highest character, respectability, and connexions. They have separate
  houses at some distance from each other, at which the husband gives
  interviews to gentlemen and his wife to ladies. The negotiations are
  conducted in conformity with printed rules, from which not the
  slightest deviation will be allowed, and everything is managed in a
  manner which cannot offend the most fastidious delicacy, or deter the
  most easily excited diffidence. It is quite impossible that ladies or
  gentlemen applying to the establishment can see each other, until a
  meeting be finally and satisfactorily arranged, and all effects of
  idle curiosity are effectually checked. The rules are to be published
  for ten shillings--the price is set upon them for no other reason than
  as some guard against the thoughtless, the idle or the ill
  disposed--at Mr Proudfoot’s, 63, Mortimer Street, Cavendish Square,
  and they entitle the purchaser to a speedy interview.

In the same year an advertisement was published in the papers directing
the ignorant in such matters where to apply in the event of their
wishing to obtain the benefits of the agency and the services of the
clergyman of the Church of England and graduate of the University of
Oxford:--

  MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE.--The Pamphlets, Rules, and Regulations of this
  Establishment for promoting Matrimonial Alliances, may be obtained by
  applying to A. B. care of Mr. Proudfoot, 63, Mortimer Street,
  Cavendish Square. Price of the pamphlet one shilling. The Portfolio of
  February is now ready, containing letters from gentlemen in every
  sphere of life, possessing property from £400 to £3000 per annum, and
  may be purchased or inspected by ladies, free of charge, at the
  agent’s, 63, Mortimer Street, as above.

Notwithstanding the honours of the clergyman and the contents of the
portfolio, the old-fashioned and insulated notions of English folk were
too much for the Alliance, which in due course faded from sight and
recollection. Possibly the graduate sought those happier climes to which
he refers in his exordium, and there made two into one as often as he
could wish. Ten years or more after Mr Proudfoot and his reverend friend
had departed from the scene, the following, which is suggestive of a
still smaller agency, appeared. It is a unique specimen of the use to
which artful and designing folks can under any set professions put
advertisements:--

  TO GIRLS OF FORTUNE.--MATRIMONY.--A bachelor, young, amiable,
  handsome, of good family, and accustomed to move in the highest sphere
  of society, is embarrassed in his circumstances. Marriage is his only
  hope of extrication. This advertisement is inserted by one of his
  friends. Ingratitude was never one of his faults, and he will study
  for the remainder of his life to prove his estimation of the
  confidence placed in him. Address, post paid L. L. H. L., 47 King
  Street, Soho.--N.B. The witticisms of cockney scribblers deprecated.

This was evidently concocted by a man who knew what would be most likely
to attract silly spinsters of a romantic turn of mind and independent
means. Did he succeed? We cannot say, but sincerely hope not, as the
professions are too good to be sincere, and his pretensions are pitched
too high to be genuine. The following has been already compared with the
handsome bachelor’s effusion:--

  MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT. I hereby give notice to all unmarried women
  that I, John Hobnail, am at this writing five and forty, a widower,
  and in want of a wife. As I wish no one to be mistaken, I have a good
  cottage with a couple of acres of land, for which I pay 2_l._ a-year.
  I have five children, four of them old enough to be in employment;
  three sides of bacon and some pigs ready for market. I should like to
  have a woman fit to take care of her house when I am out. I want no
  second family. She may be between 40 and 50 if she likes. A good
  sterling woman would be preferred, who would take care of the pigs.

This was originally given in _Blackwood_ over twenty years ago. John
Hobnail is plain-spoken, but he is evidently honest, and no greater
contrast could be afforded to L. L. H. L. than John’s desires for a
mate. Here is no high-falutin’ nonsense, and romance-reading young
ladies were doubtlessly horrified at the use to which John would put a
“good sterling woman.” But there may, after all, be heroism in
pig-feeding; and many a brave lady would quail before a hungry sow and
her litter. Some might also object to the contiguity in which Mr Hobnail
places his porkers and his children. Differing from John Hobnail very
widely, yet in the same agricultural interest, is the author of the next
application, which a good many years nearer the present time than the
_Blackwood_ specimen, appeared in a Yorkshire journal. The effusion is
in its way almost as curious as the two are which immediately precede
it--at least we think so, whatever our readers may do:--

  WANTED a WIFE, by a handsome young FARMER who is desirous of becoming
  domesticated, and of enjoying the society of a young, good-tempered
  female, who would tempt him away from his market festivities by her
  pleasing and gently persuasive manners. She must not exceed 20, unless
  she be a widow, whose family must not exceed six. Want of beauty would
  be no kind of objection, provided she possessed from 1,000_l._ to
  2,000_l._ His rent, tithes, and taxes are all paid up, and he is
  wholly free from debt. All that he requires is love, peace, and
  happiness. Apply ---- near Tenbury.

All he requires is love, peace, and happiness. Love of course includes
beauty; and so we can manage to understand that his object really is
love and beauty, or a thousand pounds, and two if possible. How he can
expect peace, to say nothing of happiness, when he gives a widow with
six children a chance, passes our comprehension. But some men will do
anything for money, and we regret to say that this handsome young farmer
appears, after all, to be of a most mercenary description. While we are
so far north, we may as well turn to Sheffield, in which town, about
five years ago, a very amusing police case, having its origin in a
matrimonial advertisement, was heard. The complaint was laid against
three young men of the town of blades, named respectively George Herd,
Joseph Fidler, and Arthur Harrop, who were charged by John Wilmer
Lambert, “for that they did unlawfully, maliciously, and knowingly, with
intent to provoke a breach of the peace, cause to be inserted in a
certain public newspaper, called the _Sheffield Independent_, a certain
false, scandalous, and defamatory statement of libel of and concerning
one John Wilmer Lambert, and against the peace of our Lady the Queen.”
The libel thus described was as follows:--

  TO SINGLE YOUNG WOMEN.--A young man wishes to meet with a partner for
  life. Any young lady feeling disposed, apply by letter, WILMER
  LAMBERT, auger filer, St Mary’s-road, Sheffield.

The following are some of the answers the unhappy Wilmer received from
the fair ones of Sheffield: “Aperil 5, 1869. Sir--seeing Advertisement
In the _Independent_ that you are in Wants a partner for _life_ so i
hoffer myself as a Candate But Befoare there Is much More caresspondenc
I should like an intearew with _you_. Notes the adress....” A more
dignified lady says: “Wilmer Lambert: The under singed quite feel
disposed as _you call it_. I am considered by my friends good looking
and they think I shall make a good wife. I am the age 22 and dark. If W.
L. answers this pleas to send cart de visite. Address by letter.”

The next correspondent is anxious to make a match, if not to find a
husband for herself: “Sir,--I with pleasure saw it advertised in the
_Independent_ to-day you was in wants of a partner and would be obliged
if you will acpt Miss A. M. A----, tall, dark hair, dark eyes, and what
the world calls good looking (age 23), or my sister who is (24) good
looking. A widdow no children. A fortune at her own disposal willed to
her by her late husband Mr. R----, or if you would Prefer a light young
lady my friend Miss C. M. C----, who is at present residing in
Sheffield, but is scotch, light hair, blue eyes, and affectionate will
accept you please to answer in Tuesday _Independent_ and you shall hear
fearther from me.--Please not delay as I shall be ancouse to know which
you prefer.” This lady’s anxiety to rush in and try her hand at
match-making will perhaps in some way account for the contemptuous tone
of the “but is scotch,” though, continuing the description, we find that
even the Scotch young lady has forgotten the caution peculiar to her
people, and so distasteful to her match-making friend, and has decided
to accept the auger-filer.

A fifth is also affectionate, but cautious: “My dear fren Iv Sean in to
Day Nuse Paper you Wanting A wife I shall be glad for a good husborn But
I should Be very Glad to now you age firs 2 I should like to now Wether
you are Good temper. My age is 24 years and a little Incom for Life and
if you are Really in Wants of A Wife I should be happy to seay you after
you Have Sent you Liknes and then I will meat you at my sisters and then
We Will talk the Matter Over. Short aquantress Som times makes Long
Repentnc. But, I Would Mak you Comfortable Wile I Liv and A Little After
I am Dead Weakly Incom PS Excuse my Riting PS Anserr by Next Post.” This
is indeed a gem which would have gladdened the heart of Isaac Pitman;
and with a wife who will make her husband comfortable after death, we
must conclude our examples. There are other letters, one from “a
publican’s daughter, twenty-three years of age, and as no objection to
be a Partner if bouth sides sues tgether;” and several which bear the
appearance of having been written for the purpose of hoaxing. After some
little time spent in hearing the case, the defendants agreed to
apologise and pay the costs, upon which Wilmer Lambert, auger-filer,
felt that his honour was appeased, and stated that he would withdraw
from the prosecution.

In _Belgravia_, of six or seven years back, there is an article on
matrimonial advertisements and the answers to correspondents which are
peculiar to certain of the penny periodicals. It enters so thoroughly
into the subject, and contains so much information as well as amusement,
that a selection from it will be found agreeable. Speaking of the
“answers,” the writer says, after alluding to one or two of a different
sort: “By far the greater number of correspondents are, however,
concerned about matrimonial affairs. The _London Journal_ is, perhaps,
the periodical which does the largest business of this kind. In a single
copy there are no fewer than twenty-three paragraphs relating to this
subject, many of them referring to four or five separate correspondents,
besides two long lists of announcements of cartes-de-visite wanted and
received. The study of these paragraphs is curious and edifying. ‘P. Y.
R.,’ who seems to be a favoured personage, has in some previous number
asked for a wife. In reply he is told that ‘Nellie Vernon, twenty-two,
accomplished, rather tall, dark, and considered handsome; an English
Gem, nineteen, pretty, lady-like, and the daughter of an independent
gentleman; Emilie R., twenty, handsome, and of good family; and Eveline
de Courcy, eighteen, fair and pretty, and will have a nice fortune--wish
to correspond and receive the carte-de-visite of the favoured one.’ Next
comes the announcement of a forlorn swain. He tells the sympathetic
readers of his favourite ‘weekly’ that he ‘is twenty-three, tall, dark,
and good-tempered, and has an income of £500 a year,’ and he asks to
correspond with ‘a pretty and amiable young lady.’ One of the softer sex
comes next. ‘Emma G., a well-informed girl of nineteen, rather dark,
genteel, five feet eight inches in height, a domestic servant, is very
much in want of some one to love.’ The domestic servant is, however,
eclipsed by the lady whose announcement of her wishes is to be found in
the same column. ‘Queen Adeline’ flies at higher game--evidently
desires, in a word, one of the earls or marquises who figure so
magnificently in the serial novels of the journal--and thus expresses
her wishes: she is, she says, ‘tall, dark, handsome, and has £400 a
year,’ and she would like to have ‘the carte-de-visite of a tall, dark,
and handsome man, not too old. She is twenty-two. He must have
well-formed and small hands and feet, and plenty of money.’ It is
difficult to imagine that these announcements and their like are
published in good faith. Of course, we can understand why ‘Emma G.’ or
‘Sergeant D.,’ a non-commissioned officer of the line, should publish
their wants in this very open way; but as for the ladies and gentlemen
with £400 and £500 a year, who appeal to the editor for partners for
life, _que diable viennent-ils faire dans cette galère?_ Is it possible
that there are people in the world who, unless they have some
irremovable stain upon their characters, find any difficulty in
disposing of their incomes and themselves amongst their own friends?

“This is probably a sufficiently business-like way of arranging a
‘matrimonial alliance’ for the tastes of most people, but there are even
more commercial methods in existence. People who want wives or husbands
sometimes find it advisable to make their wants public by
advertisement--a method of proceeding which is very commonly practised
in some of the northern and manufacturing districts. Matrimonial
advertisements are excluded from the respectable journals of the
metropolis, but the scarcely less influential and respectable journals
of the cotton capital insert them readily and receive the answers. They
are generally very matter-of-fact--romance would, indeed, be out of
place in such a connection. Now and then some of them are, however,
comic enough. ‘A handsome young gentleman, aged twenty-three, wishes to
correspond with a young lady with not less than £300 a year,’ was an
advertisement which appeared several times in one of the journals of
Cottonopolis. Whether the advertiser’s expectations were ever realised
the present writer is, of course, unable to say; but from his own
experience he is inclined to think it rather doubtful. Some few months
back, having nothing very particular to do, he inserted an advertisement
in a certain Manchester newspaper, stating that ‘a young professional
man, handsome, amiable, and intelligent, and possessing an income of
£500 a year, was anxious to meet with a suitable mate.’ The replies came
in shoals. Within four days, between sixty and seventy letters were
received, all, with one exception, evidently _bonâ fide_. The exception
was a high-flown composition written in a disguised hand, and on paper
profusely scented with musk. Of the remainder, the majority were rather
touching. A great many came from servant girls, who always included two
things in their applications: first, they declared that their parents
were eminently respectable--generally professional men--and that it was
only through family misfortunes that they had been compelled to ‘go to
service;’ and secondly, they treated their correspondent to a great deal
of bad spelling and worse grammar. The following is a verbatim copy of
one of these communications:--‘Dear Sir. Having notised your
advertizment we beg to offer ourselves. Are 2 sisters Lottie twenty one
and dark hand tall and Tottie fair and pritty which I never hexpected to
go to survice having always been brought up quite genteel. I am Sir
Yours and c. ---- ----. P.S. Please adress your letter _Miss_ ----.’
Young ladies in shops and warehouses contributed somewhat liberally to
the batch of answers. They generally wrote the flashy hand taught at
‘young ladies’ seminaries,’ and sometimes quoted poetry of a tender
character. The grammar of their epistles was, however, somewhat dubious,
and their spelling worse than that of a charity-school boy. Strangest of
all was the following, which was written in a beautifully firm and
lady-like hand upon good paper:--‘I have seen your challenge to the
ladies in the ----, and I fancy it must be genuine, and that you expect
it to be taken up in all frankness.... I am twenty-five, and am the
daughter of a solicitor. I have been well educated, and you may judge of
my personal appearance by the enclosed carte-de-visite. I shall be
entitled on my marriage to about £5,000 in the funds, and at my mother’s
death I expect to receive a similar amount. My reason for this bold and
perhaps imprudent letter is that I am tired of home, which is too stiff
and formal for me. If you would like to know more about me you must give
me all particulars about yourself. Write to Miss ----, under cover to
----.’ The portrait enclosed was that of a really handsome girl of about
the age mentioned in the letter. The name given was one not altogether
unknown to the writer, and the person under cover to whom the reply was
to be sent was evidently a servant. It need scarcely be said that the
matter went no further, and that the carte was returned forthwith.
Still, it is rather melancholy to think of what may be the fate of this
girl. She evidently suspected no harm, and she confided in an utter
stranger with singular frankness and simplicity. In all human
probability she would become the prey of the first fortune-hunting
scoundrel who came across her path, unless she had, as the writer
sincerely hopes, a big brother with a strong arm and a thick stick.”

We have before us at the present moment an accumulation of the very
extraordinary applications for wives and husbands which are constantly
appearing in the cheap publications of the day, but the specimens
already given will doubtless be found sufficient for the purpose. Two
from our heap, however, we feel in duty bound to give, not because they
are very different from the rest we have garnered, but because they are
fair samples of a style often adopted by the Benedicks and Beatrices of
the _London Journal_. One is from a lady and the other from a gentleman.
Let us take the lady first:--

  AGENORIA says that she has natural golden-brown hair, fair oval face,
  laughing mischievous eyes, dark arched eyebrows, roguish expression of
  countenance, is eighteen, ladylike, sensible, merry, good-natured,
  highly respectable, and has good expectations. She longs to be married
  to a tall, studious, benevolent, affectionate, well-principled
  gentleman, who would think it a pleasure to instruct and assist her
  endeavours to obtain a thorough knowledge of English, French, and
  drawing; and in return she would try to be an apt pupil, and a loving
  and obedient wife.

The pseudonyms adopted by these young ladies are often provokingly
funny: sometimes loving hearts take the name of a favourite heroine,
whose virtues and temptations, joys and sorrows, are at the time
attracting their attention in the _Journal_; but sometimes they take
higher flights, and in attempting high-sounding names they have heard,
succeed in inventing others, just as the old chemists, in trying to
discover the philosopher’s stone, found things much more valuable--with
the difference, of course, that the new titles are only valuable to
future writers of the fiction believed in most by the fair
correspondents. Agenoria requires a good deal, but her effort is of the
weakest compared with that of our next friend, who, provided he had a
big stick, would prove himself a true hero--say on a box of eggs:--

  L. S. W., twenty-one, dark, and considered handsome, lithe in figure,
  of the medium height, and of a good family, would like to receive the
  carte-de-visite of a young lady, a blond preferred. He is shortly
  going abroad, probably to Mexico, or some of the republics adjacent,
  where he intends to make a name and fortune. He is very ambitious, and
  intends joining an army where there is active service. He wants a wife
  who would encourage his plans and undertakings. One who would share
  with him the toils of a camp life, or who would rule in Courts. One
  who would receive homage from the savage tribes of Northern and
  Central America, or would maintain her husband’s position as an
  officer and gentleman of honour both at home and at Court. He is of a
  very loving disposition, though rather hasty, and to a lady who would
  do as he wished he would be an affectionate, loving husband,
  companion, and protector.

That matrimonial clubs or agencies are still in existence is shown by a
case tried quite recently before Sir James Hannen in the Divorce
Court--a wife’s petition for a judicial separation on the ground of her
husband’s cruelty. The counsel for the petitioner stated that she was a
lady of property, residing in Liverpool, and that the respondent was a
clerk in a firm in the same town. He was a member of a Matrimonial Club,
whose object was to secure for its members wives with good fortunes; and
as an instance of what kind of alliances result from the interference of
these establishments, we give some of the evidence. The respondent,
whose chief object was to get money, was very violent on finding soon
after the marriage that his wife had not nearly so much as he had
anticipated. He was guilty of drunkenness and assaults, and treated his
wife in a very brutal manner. The petitioner said that her father died
on Christmas Day, 1866. On his death she had an income of £400 for her
separate use. She made the acquaintance of the respondent some two or
three years before, and he was at that time a clerk in a firm of
shipbrokers. At the marriage no settlement was made; but a few days
after the respondent asked for any papers she might have. She gave him
them. She had £675 in a building society, and he wrote out a form that
she signed, and the money was transferred to him. He often said that
£400 per annum was a very paltry sum, and that if he had a few thousands
he could go into business. Petitioner’s mother had a considerable sum,
and her name being the same, had led the defendant into the error of
marrying a woman with only a “paltry £400 a year,” instead of a lot of
ready money. Soon after the marriage he took to drinking, and was
violent in his language. The latter, the petitioner believed, arose from
his being disappointed at the smallness of her fortune. She found a
letter of a very immoral character addressed to her husband. She was
much annoyed, and sent the letter to the office. When the respondent
returned he brought a friend with him, and used most violent language.
After the friend had gone to bed the respondent pulled her on to the
floor, bit her in the neck, ground her beads into powder, and bit a
piece out of a glass. This latter act, it must be admitted, is a rather
novel way of showing disappointment, even in matters like these. The
friend was at once called for, and assisted to hold the disappointed man
down. In August 1870 defendant tore a piece of skin from her arm. He had
been drinking for some time, and tried to prevent her seeing her mother,
who only lived a few hundred yards away. The mother was doubtless a sore
point with him. He said that once a month was often enough to see her,
but witness went more frequently. The family doctor saw the injuries
which she sustained. In the same month the respondent called her very
foul names, and threatened to strangle her and throw her out of the
window. His threats were so violent that she never expected to see the
morning. On one occasion he came home drunk, and partook of three large
bottles of champagne. This would be a dangerous experiment for a sober
man to make in these degenerate days. Afterwards he fell backwards, and
she had to stay with him all night. In March 1871 she went to her
mother’s to tea, and when she returned he used very bad language, and
made all sorts of charges about her conduct, which were false. When
sober, he said she ought not to take any notice of this. Her first child
was born in 1870, and her medical adviser told her to go away. She was
anxious to take the child with her, which her husband would not allow,
and during her absence he sent it from home. On hearing of this she at
once returned, and he refused to tell her where the child was, until
she wrote a letter which he forced her to write. On a Sunday after this
he returned home drunk, and when she remonstrated with him, he said that
he was not half drunk, but soon would be so. He then took the decanters
out of the cupboard, and threw them at her. This was, to say the least,
eccentric, as a means to the end of drunkenness. She was so frightened
at his conduct that she had to seek protection amongst neighbours. On
the 20th of December witness was in the house alone with respondent, who
threatened to kill her, stating that he often wished to do so, and now
that they were alone there was a good opportunity. He then got hold of
the carving-knife, and stood over her with it. He then said that would
not do, but a pistol or razor would. Corroborative evidence as to the
violence was given by the doctor who attended the petitioner, and
noticed bruises on her; and by a servant who formerly lived with the
parties to the suit. His lordship granted a decree of judicial
separation, with costs, the wife to have the custody of the child.
Marriage for money and money alone, without any consideration as to
whether the contracting persons are at all suited to each other, is
almost bound to end in unpleasantness, more especially when the
fortune-hunter finds that he has married the daughter instead of the
mother, and has only a “paltry £400 a year” and a little ready money to
subsist on.

There is at the present time in London a weekly newspaper specially
devoted to the interests of those who wish to marry or to give in
marriage, and as the copy we have before us under date May 9, 1874, is
numbered 214, and is full of advertisements all referring to the holy
state of matrimony, it is to be presumed that the supply is caused by a
most undoubted demand for an organ of intercommunication between kindred
souls which scorn to be trammelled by ordinary social restrictions, or
to which conventionalities can bring no balm. Love is a fierce flame,
and people who feel it burning within them, and know no object on whom
to bestow the priceless blessing, are apt to try any short cut that
offers itself, instead of biding their time and going the ordinary
slow-coach road which lumbering old-fashioned etiquette suggests.
Therefore we take up our paper with interest, and receive with pleasure
the intimation that it is “a weekly journal devoted to the promotion of
marriage and conjugal felicity.” We say pleasure advisedly, for most
editors would have been satisfied to promote marriage, and have let the
subsequent felicity look after itself. We must admit that we fail to
find any further reference to the future happiness of couples in our
copy; perhaps it is to be secured by a regular supply of the newspaper,
so that those already done for may see how the remaining lovers are
getting on. On the front page there are ten “rules and regulations” to
be complied with by advertisers, the most important of which seems to be
that “_bona fide_ notices from ladies and gentlemen desirous of marrying
will be inserted at the rate of twelve stamps per forty words,” with a
reduction by taking a quantity, and that “all introductions are given on
the understanding that the lady and gentleman shall each pay a fee to
the editor within a month after marriage.” Why these are called rules
and regulations we don’t pretend to know. The editor also offers, as one
of the rules, to give advice on the subject of courtship or marriage, by
which it would appear that he has had an extended experience of both.
Yet this supposition is hardly borne out by a request--also one of the
ten regulations--for contributions “calculated to enlighten the public
mind in reference to marriage and other kindred subjects.” Maybe, great
as is the editor’s own knowledge of marriage “and other kindred
subjects,” he cannot write equal to the demands of such a topic.
Certainly he and his advertisers have the most original ideas of both
orthography and syntax. Maybe also, the “address to the public,” which
adds to the front-page glories, has been enough for him in the way of
hard literary labour. It is certainly very nice, though short; and we
regret that no such cunning hand could be obtained to give a few opening
lines for the present chapter. But better late than never, and so we
will borrow the “address” now. “Marriage,” says the editor, “is such an
ancient institution, and has in all ages excited such universal interest
among the human family, that in offering to the public a journal
specially devoted to the promotion of marital felicity, we feel sure we
are only supplying a national want. Civilisation, combined with the cold
formalities of society and the rules of etiquette, imposes such
restrictions on the sexes, that there are thousands of marriageable men
and women, of all ages, capable of making each other happy, who never
have a chance of meeting, either in town or country; therefore, the
desirability of having some organ through which ladies and gentlemen
aspiring to marriage can be honourably brought into communication, is
too obvious to need demonstration; and as we are resolved to devote our
best energies to advance the interests and happiness of our readers and
correspondents, we feel sure the _Matrimonial News_ will meet with a
generous support.” This appeal seems to have met with a good response,
as there are no less than 331 advertisements of various lengths, all
relating to marriage, in the number before us. It is noticeable,
however, that many of them have a striking family likeness, and a
peculiarity of constructive style is evidenced by a great number in each
column. It is hardly fair to suppose that half-a-dozen ladies of forty
anxious for husbands would describe themselves as orphans, yet we find
no less than eight ladies in one page, all content with that
classification, whose united ages amount to 313 years, one being
thirty-five, another thirty-eight, and six admitting to be forty each;
but these are insignificant compared with a poor young thing who appears
close by, and whose application runs thus:--

  227 AN orphan LADY, aged 52, of good connexions, and an income of £160
  a year, wishes to hear from a gentleman not under 60. Address with
  Editor.

This orphan business may be partly an intimation that there are no
mothers-in-law to fear, besides being an appeal to the charitable to
prevent giddy young creatures straying into harm’s way. The columns of
this unique journal are also strong in the military, several colonels
and some other officers being anxious to commit matrimony.

From 331 advertisements, all peculiar, it is hard to make anything like
a judicial selection; but there are a few specimens we have determined
on giving, even though others must suffer and be left in the cold shade
of neglect. We will commence with

  245 A WIDOWER, aged 60, healthy and active, with a business of about
  £150 a year, wishes to correspond with a well educated lady, from 40
  to 50 with a view to early marriage. Address with Editor.

This will doubtless throw a new light on the question of early
marriages, which seems to have been hitherto handled in a selfish and
one-sided manner. Sixty and fifty can hardly ever be “too early wed.”
Next we come upon

  124 CATHLEEN, aged 30, a Widow LADY, without children, income £7,000,
  residing in a handsome house, surrounded by a park of 200 acres,
  within 50 miles of London, would correspond with a Nobleman or
  Gentleman of position, with a view to marriage. Address with Editor.

Probably there are many noblemen and gentlemen with whom Cathleen mixes
in daily intercourse who do not dream that she wishes to be married
again, and she is of course too much a lady to let them know the state
of her feelings. Which accounts for her confiding in the editor, who
must be a perfect Pantechnicon of secrets. The intelligent foreigner is
not blind to the advantages of advertising for what he requires, as
witness

  9982 A Spanish GENTLEMAN, aged 30 years, residing at Seville
  (Andalusia), tall, good looking, very swell, rather a meriodinal type,
  an income of £1,000. He knows English thoroughly, and would like to
  correspond with the following ladies: Nos. 9442, 9697, 9646, and 9710.
  Address with Editor.

He knows English better than we do in England, if he understands what a
“meriodinal type” is; and the editor doesn’t offer to explain. But the
latter is evidently too interested in the following to trouble himself
with small and foreign fry:--

  195 A BACHELOR, 32, height 6 feet, strong, fair and considered good
  looking, closely connected with nobility, and moving in the best
  county society, one brother inherits entailed estates and two in the
  army, a member of one of the most particular west-end clubs, residence
  family mansion beautifully situated on the bank of a large river,
  disposition amiable and energetic, would not mind getting married, if
  I could meet a suitable wife. She must be of a loveable disposition,
  good figure and pleasing face, and have a fortune of not less than
  £10,000 to enable me to buy out the other partner in a large
  manufactory which cost £23,000, and yealds over £3,000 per annum,
  without which I will not become a benedict for years. Would like
  communicate with 9920, 9852, or 9803. Address L. M. A., Editor M. N.,
  282, Strand.

These figures refer, of course, to young ladies who have advertised for
the connections of the nobility in previous numbers. When the School
Board has done with the children of costermongers and other plebeians,
it will have to turn its attention to the members of particular West-End
clubs, whose education seems to have been somewhat neglected, so far as
grammar is concerned. Should the fair creatures referred to by L. M. A.
be already suited, or the inducements held out be insufficient for them,
our next may be worthy of his attention:--

  284 A Young LADY, tall, fair, and beautiful, with a great profusion of
  golden hair, and an income of £800 a year, wishes to correspond with a
  gentleman of position with a view to marriage. Editor has address.

Quite a modern Miss Kilmansegg, with the advantage of having the
typical adornment in the shape of golden hair instead of a golden leg.
This reference to poetry is of great advantage, as it puts us in a
proper frame to consider the following:--

    “Oh, woman, in our hours of ease,
    Uncertain, coy, and hard to please;
    When pain or sickness rend the brow,
    A ministering angel thou.”

  9828 A Young WIDOW, highly connected, dark hair and eyes, considered
  pretty, good income, desires to marry, she does not deny that she
  might at times realize the two first lines of the couplet quoted
  above, but she can assure any gentleman willing to make the experiment
  that she is as certain to be true to the conclusion. Address with
  Editor.

Even Scott has to succumb to the grammatical requirements of the
marriage advocate and its readers; but the alteration from the original
is as nothing compared with the reference to “the two first lines of the
couplet.” There is poetry of a different kind in the next specimen,
which deserves particular attention:--

  45 I am a BACHELOR, 28, tall and gentlemanly. My income being £150
  only (though prospects good), I seek an amiable, educated wife, with
  private means. Should 10,000, 9920, 9851, 9960, Geraldine, Miss Kate,
  Miss Maxwell, 9852, 9828, 9878, 9885, or other lady under 28, with at
  least £2,000 in own control, deem my position compatible with her
  views, I should much like to correspond. I am well educated, of
  refined and intellectual tastes, fond of literature and home, of sound
  moral principles, eschewing smoking, drinking, gambling, and all fast
  life delusions, of undoubted respectability, unquestionable honour and
  integrity, of equable temper, and kind, generous heart. Believing a
  true wife to be man’s greatest blessing, I fully intend being a good
  husband or none at all, and shall treat my wife not merely with the
  courtesy due to a lady, but with the respectful consideration to a
  woman. As this is bona fide, inviolable honour observed and expected.
  Particulars of age, income, and disposition respectfully solicited.
  Address with Editor.

O true poetic soul longing for a mate! O noble heart of undoubted
respectability and unquestionable honour! may you go on and prosper!
Even teetotalism can be fervid, and an equable temper may become
quickened, when matrimony stirs up the feelings; and so catching is the
impulse, that we should like to fold this young man to our breast, and
present him with our favourite daughter. But she hasn’t got £2000, and
so, regretting the circumstance, we pass on to

  8672 A PHYSICIAN of noble lineage (of French and English extraction),
  of statue about 5ft. 8 inches, aged 36 years, of dark complexion, with
  black hair and eyes, possessing a strong and healthy constitution,
  desires to form the acquaintance, with a view to matrimony, of a Lady
  from 19 to 23 or 24 years, who must be of a noble family or the upper
  class; brunette preferred, if not of a medium complexion with black or
  dark hair, and eyes having a fine physique, with some embonpoint,
  pretty, of an affectione disposition, with a heart true and loving,
  talented, speaking or understanding French and Italian, or the other
  foreign languages; in height about 5 feet 6 to 8 inches. Also must
  possess in her own right considerable fortune, and having no
  incumbrance preferred. In effect a Girl who can ever love a man with
  an affectionate disposition. Photograph and address with Editor.

This noble physician evidently wishes for a wife whom he may eventually
stuff and exhibit, even if he does not take her “round the country”
during life. Few people would object to paying sixpence or so to see,
among other things, eyes having a fine physique; and so we trust 8672
may get the wife he wishes for. She would, however, if existent, as a
matter of natural selection prefer our next friend, and then they could
mutually rejoice over each other’s tastes and peculiarities:--

  9971 VEGETARIAN, a young man who does not use flesh as food; a Roman
  Catholic, humble, well-educated, and connected. A lover of temperance,
  truth, literature, fruit, flowers, and economy, income about £80 a
  year, wishes for a wife with similar tastes, principles, and income,
  or as nearly so as possible.--The address with Editor.

The fact of being connected is such an entirely new qualification, that
we feel compelled to pause and wonder; and this will be an opportunity
for withdrawing from a perusal which is very fascinating, but which
threatens to prolong this chapter unduly. There are many more noticeable
advertisements, but those we have given will be sufficient to show the
character of the newspaper from which we have selected them, as well as
the credulity of its public, who are either gulled into paying for
matrimonial applications, or deluded into purchasing it in the hope that
by its means husbands or wives may be secured. That Oxford “double
firsts,” Cambridge wranglers, members of Parliament, military and naval
officers of high rank, peers of the realm, and beneficed clergymen,
would send twaddling and ungrammatical advertisements to this paper, so
as to secure wives, we no more believe than we do that eminent
authoresses and ladies of rank and property would avail themselves of
its services to secure to themselves husbands. If we are wrong, and
these advertisements are all _bonâ fide_, and what they profess to be,
then a paternal Government, which legislates against betting and strong
drink, which puts a tax on quack medicines, and subscribes to compulsory
education, should fulfil its _métier_ by preventing the public exposure
of idiotcy we have just been contemplating, more especially as no good
can possibly be the outcome of it.

  [46] This Mrs Cornelys was a notoriety of the period. She lived at
  Carlisle House, Soho Square, where she, coming from Germany, of which
  country she was a native, settled in or about 1756. Her business was
  to entertain “the votaries of fashion of both sexes” with masked and
  other balls, and suchlike festivities. Mrs Cornelys seems to have
  thoroughly understood the advantages of judicious puffery, and her
  advertisements usually appeared as news paragraphs. On February 18,
  1763, there appeared a good specimen of the kind of notice she most
  affected. It says, “On Saturday last Mrs Cornelys gave a ball at
  Carlisle House, to the upper servants of persons of fashion, as a
  token of the sense she has of her obligations to the nobility and
  gentry, for their generous subscription to her assembly. The company
  consisted of 220 persons, who made up fourscore couple in country
  dances; and as scarce anybody was idle on this occasion, the rest sat
  down to cards.” Carlisle House was kept open by means of annual
  subscriptions, and the fast young men of the period, and not a few
  older sinners, patronised the establishment. Rules and regulations
  were published, and from them we learn that members’ tickets were
  transferable provided the name of the holder was written on the back.
  There are in the papers between 1757 and 1772 frequent references to
  the grand doings at this notorious place of assignation; but
  notwithstanding all her customers and her various ways of making
  money, Mrs Cornelys’s name appears in a _Gazette_ of November in the
  latter year among the bankrupts. She is described as “Teresa Cornelys,
  Carlisle House, St Ann, Soho, dealer.” This, however, says very little
  as to her success or the want of it, for bankruptcy meant anything but
  ruin a hundred years ago, if one had only money enough to break
  properly.




CHAPTER XVIII.

_HANDBILLS, INSCRIPTIONS, ETC._


Under this head it is our intention to give some slight insight into
peculiarities of a kind of advertising unconnected with newspapers, and
independent of any of the subjects treated in preceding chapters. We set
forth with a great variety of handbills, which seemed almost too
extensive for use in this volume; but we have already got rid of so many
that the task of disposal is considerably lightened--so lightened,
indeed, by the absorption of many of the most characteristic into
preceding pages, that by comparison with the original collection our
present supply seems rather meagre. It will doubtless, however, be found
sufficient for the requirements of readers. We have already given an
outline of the history of advertising by means of bills and posters, and
have referred to the gradual growth of the system of “billing” until it
has attained its present proportions. This system, though regarded by
the Board of Works as very objectionable, is far pleasanter than that
adopted twenty years ago, when every billsticker considered it his
bounden duty to overstick the placards of opponents, and when nothing
but a long course of education, or a most vivid imagination, would
enable the passer-by to read what was upon the dead walls and hoardings.
The Board of Works certainly took the initiative at the wrong time--at
the time when improvement was vast and apparent to every one; but as it
failed in its object, we may consider that public opinion has admitted
the improvement, and no longer regards wall-advertising as a nuisance.
The Board doubtless started on the idea at a time when placarding was a
most decided scandal, but it--like most other committees--took so long
to bring the idea to perfection, that the scandal had abolished itself
long before the Board was ready to abolish it. Having already entered
into full particulars as to the modes formerly adopted, and contrasted
them with those in use at the present time, individual efforts at
illuminating the public mind will now be found amply sufficient for our
purpose. Some of these are, as all the world knows, extremely funny on
account of the vagueness of the writers, and in that particular resemble
many of those we have instanced from the columns of newspapers. A very
few examples of this kind will suffice, and will pave the way for the
heavier material. One of the best of those inscriptions, the comicality
of which is founded upon ignorance, appeared in 1821, and was posted up
by order of Lord Camden in that portion of the county of Kent which
called him owner. It said:--

  Notice is hereby given, that the Marquis of Camden (on account of the
  backwardness of the harvest) will not shoot himself, nor any of his
  tenants, till the 14th of September.

We don’t suppose that the Marquis had anything to do with the actual
wording of the notice, but he has always been identified with it, and
doubtless was cruelly badgered about it at the time. Another lordly
notice of a similar kind appeared a few years back at Osterly Park, near
Brentford, the seat of the Earl of Jersey, which gave the public this
information: “Ten shillings reward.--Any person found trespassing on
these lands or damaging these fences on conviction will receive the
above reward. Dogs poisoned.” Somebody once said that nobody expects to
find education or ability in a lord, but that is because his household
are expected to fulfil his duties properly. Lords would seem in imminent
danger of having to pick up a little scholarship, and use it in the
interest of their dependants. If so, polo and pigeon-shooting will
languish, and West-End night-schools may become fashionable. But getting
away from the aristocracy, and turning our attention to the other side
of the social sphere, we don’t find matters anyway improved, if we are
to judge by the specimens of literary ability which now and then address
themselves to the curious pedestrian. In Lambeth the latter might some
short time back have been terrified by an announcement in a baker’s
shop, which informed all whom it might concern that _vitals_ were baked
there. Not so terrible, but more comical, is the following, which is
copied from an announcement in the window of a shop at Chatham: “The
public are requested not to confound this shop with that of another
swindler who has established himself on the other side of the way.”
There is a story told of two rival shoemakers, one of whom astonished
his opponent by the inscription, “Mens conscia recti.” He was not
allowed his triumph unalloyed, for the other, after puzzling over the
notice for some days, divined that it was some new name for
“understandings,” and feeling sure there was nothing in the opposition
shop that was not in his own, replied with this, “Men’s and women’s
conscia recti may be obtained here.” This story, however, requires
confirmation, as does that of the two provincial photographers. One is
said to have placed over his studio, “The acme of photography,” to which
his enemy and neighbour replied, “Photography in the very height of
acme.” Salt seems necessary to both of these, but we are informed on
good authority that the next one is quite true. A correspondent says
that the following is a verbatim copy of a sign formerly to be seen over
a shoemaker’s shop in the village of Heallan, near Denbigh, Wales. The
schoolmaster would seem to have been a long way abroad when the sign was
composed:--

  Pryce Dyas, Coblar, daler in Bacco Shag and Pig tail, Bacon and
  Ginarbread Eggs laid every morning by me, and very good Paradise, in
  the Summer, Gentlemen and Lady can have good Tae and Crumquets and
  Strawburry with a scim milk, because I can’t get no cream.--N.B. Shuse
  and Boots mended very well.

Of a similar kind is the following, which was, years back, copied from a
bill in the window of a small house near Lancaster:--

  James Williams, parish clerk, saxtone, town crier, and bellman, makes
  and sells all sorts of haberdasharies, groceries, &c.; likewise, hair
  and wigs drest and cut on the shortest notice. N.B.--I keeps an
  evening scool, where I teach, at reasonable rates, reading, riting,
  and rithmitic, and singing. N.B.--I play the hooboy occasionally if
  wanted. N.B.--My shop is next door, where I bleed, draw teeth, and
  shoo horses, with the greatest scil. N.B.--Children taut to dance if
  agreeable at 6d. per week, by me, J. Williams, who buy and sell old
  iron, and coats--boots and shoos cleaned and mended. N.B.--A hat and
  pr of stockens to be cudgelled for, the best in 5, on Shrof Tushday.
  For particulars encuire within, or at the horse shoo and bell, near
  the church, on t’other side the way. N.B.--Look over the dore for the
  sign of the 3 pidgeons. N.B.--I sells good ayle, and sometimes cyder.
  Lodgings for single men. N.B.--I teach jografy, algebry, and them
  outlandish kind of things. A ball on Wednesdays and Fridays.

The next quaint window inscription, which treats of the troubles of a
small shopkeeper, may also be depended upon, it being an exact copy of a
written card suspended in the shop window of a tradesman in Horsemarket
Street, Warrington. One can conceive the amount of provocation undergone
and the indignation felt by the honest purveyor of mousetraps, whose
blood must have been at boiling point when he penned this:--

  Notice I dont keep twelve hole mousetrap nor penney ones what i keep I
  sell to respectable people not to impudent Boys Hand Bad Girls that
  comes to rob me and annoy me and has bad parents those that come into
  my shop shall be severely beat and put into the celler and took before
  the magistrates those that come into a shop and ask for article that
  is not made they must come to steal.

Examples like this are manifold, and could be extended to great length,
but those we have given are quite enough to afford a vivid idea of the
danger of venturing upon literature without the precaution of first
learning the rudiments of education, and of the ridicule likely to
attend upon any more than usually ambitious effort, which succeeds in
landing its perpetrator quite out of his depth.

Old playbills offer a fruitful subject to the investigator, but their
actual origin is hidden in the obscurity of ages. So far as their
history goes, however, they are plentiful, and mention of them is made
in works of a period far anterior to the date of any specimens extant.
The modern drama had its origin in an attempt to commemorate the
mysteries of the Incarnation, from whence the plays were called
mysteries; and it is recorded that one Gregory Nazianzen, an early
father of the Christian Church, constructed a drama on the Passion, for
the purpose of counteracting the profanities of the ancient plays, about
the year of our Lord 364. We have to pass over eight hundred years for
the next mention of dramatic representations, and then it is met in
Fitzstephen, who states that “London had for its theatrical exhibitions
holy plays, and the representation of miracles wrote by holy
confessors.” This would be towards the close of the twelfth century; and
next we come to the Chester Mysteries, which were performed about 1270.
These have been reprinted during the present century, and the
application of the word mystery is explained in the two subjoined verses
from the proclamation or prologue to the Whitsun Plays, a title by which
the famous Chester Mysteries were also known. The “moonke” mentioned is
Done Rondali, of Chester Abbey, who founded the plays:--

    This moonke, moonke-like in Scriptures well seene
    In storyes travelled with the best sorte;
    In pagentes set fourth, apparently to all eyne,
    The Olde and Newe Testament with livelye comforte;
    Intermynglinge therewith, onely to make Sporte,
    Some things not warranted by any writt,
    Which, to glad the hearers, he woulde men to take yt.

    Now, you worshippfull Tanners, that of custome olde
    The fall of Lucifer did set out,
    Some writers awarrante your matter; therefore be boulde,
    Lustily to playe the same to all the rowtte;
    And yf any thereof stande in any doubte,
    Your author his author hath, your shewe let bee,
    Good speech, fyne players, with apparill comelye.

With the history of plays we have nothing to do, and need only state
that the first regular English tragedy was “Ferrex and Porrex,” which
was acted before Queen Elizabeth on the 18th of January 1561 by the
gentlemen of the Inner Temple. This same play was tried at one of the
minor theatres in 1854, but had no claim upon the tastes of the time.
From a passage in Strype’s Life of Archbishop Grindall, it has been
assumed that the custom of issuing bills, giving information concerning
the time, place, and nature of plays to be acted, came in with the plays
themselves, as it is there shown to exist prior to the year 1563. In
alluding to Grindall’s objections to dramatic representations, Strype
mentions that the Archbishop complained to Queen Elizabeth’s secretary
that the players “did then daily, but especially on the holidays, set up
their _bills_, inviting to plays.” This, however, is a somewhat curious
error of Strype’s, into which Mr Payne Collier has also fallen. The
Bishop did not write _bills_ but _booths_; his words are as follows:
“Common players, now daylie, but speciallye on holy dayes, set up
_boothes_ whereunto the youthe resorteth excessively.” There is,
however, other evidence to prove that playbills were in use not long
after the above date; for John Northbrooke, in his treatise against
theatrical performances, printed about 1579, says: “They use to set up
their bills upon posts some certain days before, to admonish people to
make resort to their theatres.” At that time the Stationers’ Company had
the right of giving licences for the printing of playbills, and in the
year 1587 its Court of Assistants conferred upon John Charlewood the
privilege of being the sole printer of bills for players. Before that
time they were printed by one James Roberts, who names “the bills for
the players” amongst his publications as early as 1573--six years before
Northbrooke’s mention of them--and, authorised no doubt by Charlewood,
he continued to print them until after the year 1600. This right of
printing playbills was at a subsequent period assumed by the Crown. A
broadside, dated 1620, is preserved in the Library of the Society of
Antiquaries, by which this privilege was granted to a printing firm by
James I. It is entitled “An Abstract of his Majesty’s Letters Patent
granted unto Roger Wood and Thomas Symcocke, for the sole printing of
paper and parchment on the one side.” Among the articles enumerated as
coming under this category are, “Bills for Playes, Pastimes, Showes,
Challenges, Prizes, or Sportes whatsoever.” At the end the public are
informed that if they may want any work of that description, they need
only repair to Edward Allde (Wood and Symcocke’s assignee), “in the Old
Change at the Golden Anchor, over against Carter Lane end, where they
shall be reasonably dealt with for the same.”

According to Malone these early playbills did not contain a list of the
characters or of the names of the actors by whom they were represented.
But that the name of the author was sometimes, if not always, on the
playbill may be inferred from a passage in the anonymous play of
“Histriomastix” (1610), act iv., in which Belch, speaking of Post-hast
the playwriter, says, “It is as dangerous to read his name at a play
dore, as a printed bill on a plague dore,” the allusion being to the
practice of writing “Lord have mercy upon us” on the doors of houses in
which the plague had broken out, which words of course were a caution,
and made people pass on hurriedly. In the same play also we find a
curious illustration of our subject in a reference to the part of one of
the inferior actors. In act iii. the stage direction says, “Enter Belch
setting up bills.” And it may not be out of place to remark that the
word poster is evidently derived from the custom of sticking bills on
posts. That bills were stuck on posts for choice, many of them at stated
or customary places, there is plenty of evidence. Sometimes they were
ordered to be stuck upon doors and gates, as in the following, though
this very possibly means door or gate post. From the _Moderate
Intelligencer_, March 18-25, 1647, we discover that in the time of civil
war, when the bishops’ lands and palaces were sold, the following places
were appointed by Parliament to be used for affixing bills concerning
the sales. Upon the outer gate and upon the hall door of Sir Richard
Gourney’s house in the Old Jewry (this was the office where the
committee charged with those sales held their sitting), upon the north
door of St Paul’s Church, upon the gate of Guildhall, and upon the gate
of Blackwell Hall.

As long as they have had an existence--from the sixteenth century--these
bills have gone by the name of playbills. In the prologue to the
anonymous tragedy of “A Warning for Fair Women” (1599), Tragedy whips
History and Comedy from the stage, exclaiming:--

    ’Tis you have kept the theatre so long
    Painted in Play bills upon every post,
    While I am scornèd of the multitude.

They have also, however, in various places and at various times, been
called “text bills for plays.” The natural and shorter title, though,
always overruled its more pretentious rival. From the prologue to
Shirley’s “Cardinal” (1652) it appears that it was usual to add on the
bill whether the piece was a comedy or a tragedy. This “Cardinal” being
a tragedy, the author apologises in the following words for only calling
it “a play” in the bills:--

    Think what you please, we call it but a “play.”
    Whether the comic muse, or lady’s love,
    Romance, or direful tragedy it prove,
    The bill determines not: and you would be
    Persuaded I would have’t a comedy
    For all the purple in the name.

From which it may be inferred that the names of tragedies, for greater
distinction, were usually, or at all events occasionally, printed in red
ink. That the custom of posting playbills continued in the reign of
Charles II. may be inferred from the following entry in Pepys’ Diary: “I
went to see if any play was acted and I found none upon the posts, it
being Passion Weeke.”

During the Civil Wars the drama had a hard struggle not to be swamped in
the deluge which destroyed all things appertaining to the pomp and
luxury of the Court, or connected with pleasure generally. The face of
the Parliament was turned against stage-plays, and when the war broke
out, one of the first measures was that which led to the publication of
the following bill:--

  _Ordinance of the Lords and Commons concerning Stage-Plays._

  ^Whereas,^

  The distressed Estate of Ireland, steeped in her own Blood, and the
  distracted Estate of England, threatened with a Cloud of Blood by a
  civil War, call for all possible Means to appease and avert the Wrath
  of God, appearing in these Judgements; amongst which Fasting and
  Prayer, having been often tried to be very effectual, have been
  lately, and are still, enjoined; And whereas public Sports do not well
  agree with public Calamities, nor public Stage-plays with the Seasons
  of Humiliation, this being an exercise of sad and pious Solemnity, and
  the other being Spectacles of Pleasure too commonly expressing
  lascivious Mirth and Levity; It is therefore thought fit, and ordered
  by the Lords and Commons in this Parliament assembled, That while
  these sad Causes and set Times of Humiliation do continue, public
  Stage-plays shall cease and be forborne. Instead of which are
  recommended to the People of this Land the profitable and seasonable
  consideration of Repentance, Reconciliation, and Peace with God, which
  probably will produce outward Peace and Prosperity, and bring again
  Times of Joy and Gladness to these Nations.

This intimation was of course received with much outcry, and “The
Actors’ Remonstrance” was soon published. In it the writer complains
naturally of a law which robs the poor player of his livelihood, and
allows bear-gardens and suchlike places to remain unmolested to the
delectation of “boisterous butchers, cutting cobblers, hard-handed
masons, and the like riotous disturbers of the public peace.” The
playhouses are defended against sundry charges brought against them, and
a promise is made that no female whatsoever shall be admitted unless
accompanied by her husband or some male relative; besides which the use
of tobacco is to be forbidden even in the threepenny galleries, except
in the case of “the pure Spanish leaf.” It may thus be readily guessed
that something worse even than the cheap “sensation smokes” of the
present day was often misnamed tobacco. This is hard to believe,
however. The promise extends to the expulsion of all ribaldry from the
stage; and the actors say, “We will so demean ourselves as none shall
esteem us of the ungodly, or have cause to repine at our actions or
interludes; we will not entertain any comedian that shall speak his part
in a tone as if he did it in derision of some of the pious, but reform
all our disorders and amend all our amisses.” During the Commonwealth,
stage-plays were almost openly connived at; and the licence indulged in
during the Restoration days is too well known to require notice here.

An interesting epoch in the history of the drama is the first appearance
of David Garrick, and it is noticeable that the playbill which
commemorates the event does not contain his name. Neither, for the
matter of that, does it contain the name of the author of the play, who,
if Shakespeare, must have been improved and amended. The monopoly of the
patent theatres was such that these plays had to be advertised and
regarded as simply interludes to a musical entertainment. As witness:--

  _October 19, 1741._

  GOODMAN’S FIELDS.

  At the late Theatre in Goodman’s Fields, this Day will be perform’d a
  _Concert of Vocal_ and _Instrumental Music_, divided into two Parts.

  Tickets at Three, Two and One Shilling.

  Places for the Boxes to be taken at the Fleece Tavern, near the
  Theatre.

  N.B. Between the two Parts will be presented an Historical Play,
  called the Life and Death of

  KING RICHARD THE THIRD,

  containing the Distresses of
  KING HENRY VI.
  The Artful Acquisition of the Crown by
  KING RICHARD,
  The Murder of the young King Edward V. and his Brother, in the
  Tower,
  The Landing of the Earl of Richmond,
  And the Death of King Richard in the memorable Battle of Bosworth
  Field, being the last that was fought between the
  Houses of York and Lancaster.
  With many other true historical Passages.

  The Part of KING RICHARD _by a Gentleman_.
  (_Who never appeared on any Stage._)

  King Henry, by Mr. Giffard; Richmond, Mr. Marshall; Prince Edward, by
  Miss Hippisley; Duke of York, Miss Naylor; Duke of Buckingham, Mr.
  Peterson; Duke of Norfolk, Mr. Blades; Lord Stanley, Mr. Pagett;
  Oxford, Mr. Vaughan; Tressel, Mr. W. Giffard; Catesby, Mr. Marr;
  Rutcliff, Mr. Crofts; Blunt, Mr. Naylor; Tyrrell, Mr. Puttenham; Lord
  Mayor, Mr. Dunstall; The Queen, Mrs. Steel; Duchess of York, Mrs.
  Yates;

  And the Part of Lady ANNE
  By Mrs GIFFARD.

  With Entertainments of Dancing

  By Mons. Fromet, Madame Duvall, and the two Masters and Miss Granier.

  To which will be added a _Ballad Opera_ of one Act, called

  THE VIRGIN UNMASK’D.
  The Part of Lucy by Miss HIPPISLEY.

  Both of which will be performed Gratis by Persons for their Diversion.
  The Concert will begin exactly at Six o’Clock.

This bill would seem to contradict an inscription in the large room at
the St John’s Gate Tavern, Clerkenwell, which is to the effect that
Garrick made his first appearance on any stage there. The first
appearance of David on any stage was at Ipswich, also in 1741, “where,
under the assumed name of Lyddul, he appeared as Aboan in the tragedy of
‘Oroonoko.’” His acting at the East End of London was a decided
success, and the performances were continued for what was then
considered an almost fabulous period. “The other theatres were quickly
deserted, and Goodman’s Fields became the resort of people of fashion,
even from the West End, till that theatre was shut up.” The last
performance at Goodman’s Fields is said to have taken place on a Sunday.
Another playbill of the middle of the eighteenth century may be found
interesting, though for no such reasons as are found in that of
Goodman’s Fields. It is redolent of the pride and poverty which seem to
be ever associated with the drama in days gone by, and is given by
Boaden in his “Life of Mrs Siddons:”--

  At the Old Theatre, in East Grinstead, on Saturday, May, 1758, will be
  represented (by particular desire, and for the benefit of Mrs. P.) the
  deep and affecting tragedy of

  “THEODOSIUS, OR THE FORCE OF LOVE,”

  with magnificent scenes, dresses, &c.

  Varanes by Mr. P., who will strive, as far as possible, to support the
  character of the fiery Persian Prince, in which he was so much admired
  and applauded at Hastings, Arundel, Petworth, Midworth, Lewes, &c.

  Theodosius by a young Gentleman from the University of Oxford, who
  never appeared on any Stage.

  Athenais by Mrs. P. Though her present Condition will not permit her
  to wait on Gentlemen and Ladies out of the town with Tickets, she
  hopes, as on former Occasions, for their Liberality and Support.

  Nothing in Italy can exceed the Altar, in the first scene of the Play;
  nevertheless should any of the Nobility or Gentry wish to see it
  ornamented with Flowers, the Bearer will bring away as many as they
  choose to favour him with.

  As the coronation of Athenais, to be introduced in the fifth Act,
  contains a number of Personages, more than sufficient to fill all the
  dressing Rooms, &c., it is hoped no Gentlemen and Ladies will be
  offended being refused admission behind the Scenes.

  N.B. The great yard Dog, that made so much noise on Thursday night,
  during the last Act of King Richard the Third, will be sent to a
  Neighbour’s over the way; and on account of the prodigious demand for
  places, part of the Stable will be laid into the Boxes on one side,
  and the Granary be open for the same purpose on the other.

  _Vivat Rex._

Those who are curious in the matter of playbills in all languages will
perhaps accept the annexed as a compromise, and as the nearest thing in
a general way we can manage in the space at command. Those also who are
good at riddles may like to try their skill on it:--

  NOTICE.

  SAturday 30 and on Sunday 31 of the corrent, in the Royal Theatre of
  St. Charles will be represented by the Italian Company the famous Holy
  Drama intitled

  IL TRIONFO DI GIUDITTA

  O SIA

  LA MORTE D’ OLOFERNE.

  In the interval of the first to the second act it shall have a new and
  pompous Ball of the composition of John Baptista Gianini, who has by
  title:

  IL SACRIFICIO D’ ABRAMO

  in which will enter all the excellent corp of Ball, who dance at
  present in the said Royal Theatre; the spetacle will be finished with
  the second act and Ball analog to the same Drama, all with the
  nessessary decoration.

  This is who is offered to the Respectable Publick of whom is waited
  all the proctetion and concurrence:

  _It will begin at 8 o’clok._

  Na officina de Simāo Thaddeo Ferreira. 1811. Com licenca.

We next append a bill of the far-famed Richardson’s Theatre under date
1825--one of those distributed during the Bartlemy Fair of that year.
Hone describes the theatre thus: “The outside of this show was in height
upwards of thirty feet, and occupied one hundred feet in width. The
platform on the outside was very elevated; the back of it was lined with
green baize, and festooned with deeply-fringed crimson curtains, except
at two places, where the money-takers sat, which were wide and roomy
projections, fitted up like Gothic shrine-work, with columns and
pinnacles. There were fifteen hundred variegated illumination-lamps
disposed over various parts of the platform, some of them depending from
the top in the shape of chandeliers and lustres, and others in wreaths
and festoons. A band of ten performers in scarlet dresses, similar to
those worn by beefeaters, continually played on clarionets, violins,
trombones, and the long drum; while the performers paraded in their
gayest ‘properties’ before the gazing multitude. Audiences rapidly
ascended on each performance being over, and paying their money to the
receivers in their Gothic seats, had tickets in return; which being
taken at the doors, admitted them to descend into the ‘theatre.’” The
bill is as follows:--

  ⁂ Change of Performance each Day.

  RICHARDSON’S
  THEATRE.

  _This Day will be performed, an entire New Melo-Drama, called the_
  WANDERING
  OUTLAW,
  _Or, the Hour of Retribution_.

  Gustavus, Elector of Saxony              Mr. Wright.
  Orsina, Baron of Holstein                Mr. Cooper.
  Ulric and Albert, Vassals to Orsina      Messrs. Grove and Moore.
  St. Clair, the Wandering Outlaw          Mr. Smith.
  Rinalda, the Accusing Spirit             Mr. Darling.

  Monks, Vassals, Hunters, &c.

  Rosabella, Wife to the Outlaw            Mrs. Smith.

  Nuns and Ladies.

  The Piece concludes with the DEATH of ORSINA, and the Appearance
  of the
  _ACCUSING SPIRIT_.

  _The Entertainments to conclude with a New Comic Harlequinade,
  with New Scenery, Tricks, Dresses, and Decorations, called_
  HARLEQUIN
  _FAUSTUS!_
  OR, THE
  DEVIL WILL HAVE HIS OWN.

  Luciferno, Mr. THOMAS.

  Dæmon Amozor, afterwards Pantaloon, Mr. WILKINSON.--Dæmon Ziokos,
  afterwards Clown, Mr. HAYWARD.--Violoncello Player, Mr.
  HARTEM.--Baker, Mr. THOMPSON.--Landlord, Mr. WILKINS--Fisherman, Mr.
  RAE.--Dr. Faustus, afterwards Harlequin, Mr. SALTER.

  Adelada, afterwards Columbine,
  Miss WILMOT.

  Attendant Dæmons, Sprites, Fairies, Ballad Singers, Flower
  Girls, &c. &c.

  _The Pantomime will finish with_
  A SPLENDID PANORAMA
  _Painted by the First Artists_.

  BOXES, 2_s._ PIT, 1_s._ GALLERY, 6_d._

Of show advertisements of a different kind, we have preserved one or two
notable specimens. The first is of the time of William and Mary, and
gives itself in two languages, though, unlike the opera bill given a
page or so back, it keeps them separate:--

  A Raritie in Nature.

  _Surpassing all Prodigies and
  strange Births that ever were seen,
  more admired by the Learned than
  any sort of Creature that ever was
  brought to_ England, _whose Body is
  of different Colours, part white, part
  brown and smooth, part Hairy like
  a Satyr, with admirable unusual
  growings out, that no reason can
  be given for. This Maid is about
  16 years of age, of a comely Countenance,
  proportionable Body, hath
  an excellent head of Hair, speaketh
  good English, is Ingenious and
  Modest. Any particular Company
  may see her at any hour of the day
  in_ Bell Savage Yard _on_ Ludgate
  Hill, London.

  _God save the_ KING.

  _Vne Raretée en la Nature_, viz.

  Une Fille tres Admirable, elle est
  belle, agée de seize ans, son visage,
  Col, mameles, Bras & Mains, sont
  de Coleur Blanche, merques de
  beaucoup taches naturelles, les
  jambs, & pieds toutes de mesmes,
  le rest du Corps est de divers
  Coleurs, avec des Excrescenes
  fort estranges on n’a jamais veue
  une telle. L’on la voit en toutes
  heures du jour dans _Bell-savage-yard_
  on _Ludgate Hill, London_.

  VIVAT REX.

It is noticeable that the showman uses the common Latin form of “Vivat
Rex” under his French, and adopts an English equivalent in his other
column. About twenty years ago a similar creature was shown in London,
and those who had her in charge vamped up most marvellous stories to
account for the _lusus naturæ_, both decency and probability being
outraged in the attempt to excite a “sensation.” The next bill is,
though of the show series, of a totally different character, and refers
to one of the exhibitions of the famous Figg, the swordsman and
pugilist. It is now the fashion to decry such adventures as that
advertised; but it is hard to believe that both Figg and Sutton were not
far more respectable characters than many who practise the licensed and
misnamed sport of modern times. For ourselves, we could have looked at
such free agents as the rapier and backsword men, or even the more
degraded pugilists, doing their best and their worst on each other,
rather than sit out an aristocratic pigeon match, assist at a battue, or
be party to the coursing of trapped hares and rabbits.

  G. R.

  [Illustration]

  _At Mr. FIGG’s New Amphitheatre._

  Joyning to his House, the Sign of the City of _Oxford_, in _Oxford
  Road, Marybone Fields_, on _Wednesday_ next, being the _8th_ of
  _June_, 1726. _Will be Perform’d a Tryal of Skill by the following_
  Masters.

  WHereas I _EDWARD SUTTON_, Pipemaker from _Gravesend_, and _Kentish_
  Professor of the Noble Science of Defence, having, under a Sleeveless
  Pretence been deny’d a Combat by and with the Extoll’d Mr. FIGG; which
  I take to be occasioned through fear of his having that Glory Eclipsed
  by me, wherewith the Eyes of all Spectators have been so much dazzled:
  Therefore, to make appear, that the Great Applause which has so much
  puff’d up this Hero, has proceeded only from his Foyling such who are
  not worthy the name of Swordsmen, as also that he may be without any
  farther Excuse; I do hereby dare the said Mr. FIGG to meet as above,
  and dispute with me the Superiority of Judgment in the Sword (which
  will best appear by Cuts, _&c._) at all the Weapons he is or shall be
  then Capable of Performing on the Stage.

       *       *       *       *       *

  I _JAMES FIGG_, _Oxonian_ Professor of the said Science, will not fail
  giving this daring _Kentish_ Champion an Opportunity to make good his
  Allegations; when, it is to be hop’d, if he finds himself Foyl’d he
  will then change his Tone, and not think himself one of the Number who
  are not worthy the Name of Swordsmen, as he is pleased to signifie by
  his Expression: However, as the most significant Way of deciding these
  Controversies is by Action, I shall defer what I have farther to Act
  till the Time above specified; when I shall take care not to deviate
  from my usual Custom, in making all such Bravadoes sensible of their
  Error, as also in giving all Spectators intire Satisfaction.

  N.B. _The Doors will be open’d at Four, and the Masters mount between
  Six and Seven exactly._

  _VIVAT REX._

Sutton does not seem to have made much but hard knocks by his desire to
uphold the honour of pipemakers and Kentish men, for Figg is generally
characterised as retiring undefeated, and Captain Godfrey, the great
amateur of his day, makes reference to the defeat of Sutton in his
“Treatise upon the Useful Science of Defence” (1747). Speaking of the
Oxford professor, he says: “Fig was the atlas of the sword, and may he
remain the gladiating statue! In him, strength, resolution, and
unparalleled judgment conspired to form a matchless master. There was a
majesty shone in his countenance, and blazed in all his actions, beyond
all I ever saw. His right leg bold and firm, and his left, which could
hardly ever be disturbed, gave him the surprising advantage already
proved, and struck his adversary with despair and panic. He had that
peculiar way of stepping in I spoke of in a parry; he knew his arm and
its just time of moving, put a firm faith in that, and never let his
adversary escape his parry. He was just as much a greater master than
any other I ever saw, as he was a greater judge of time and measure.”
Of Sutton the enthusiastic captain tells us that “he was a resolute,
pushing, awkward swordsman; but by his busy intruding arm, and
scrambling legs, there were few judgments but what were disordered and
disconcerted. Fig managed him the best of any by his charming
distinction of time and measure, in which he far excelled all, and
sufficiently proved these two be the sword’s true foundation.” Figg was
also a great bruiser, and was regarded as the champion of the boxers as
well as the master of the swordsmen. He was a genial good-tempered
fellow, and was the boon companion of many eminent authors and artists
of his time.

So much for show and play bills, and the celebrities to whom they have
introduced us. We will now turn to handbill and poster advertisements of
various descriptions. Tickets and bills containing the information that
apartments were to be let were set up over doors at least as early as
1665. In the “Pillulæ Pestilentialis” of the Rev. Richard Hingston,
preacher, of St James’s, Clerkenwell, there is the following in
reference to the Plague and the practice just mentioned:--

    No Papers then o’er our Doors were set
    With “Chambers ready furnished to be Let,”
    But a sad “Lord have Mercy upon us” and
    A bloody Cross as fatal Marks did stand.

At the end of a pamphlet, printed in 1673, entitled “An Essay to revive
the Ancient Education of Gentlewomen, in Religion, Manners, and
Tongues,” there is a postscript, containing an advertisement of a
boarding school at Tottenham High Cross. This establishment was under
the management of Mrs Makin, who had been tutoress to the Princess
Elizabeth, daughter of Charles I., and who put forth part of her
prospectus in the following manner:--

  Here by the blessing of God, Gentlewomen may be instructed in the
  principles of Religion, and in all manner of sober and virtuous
  Education: more especially in all Things ordinarily taught in Schools
  for the other Sex; as in

  Works of all sorts,
  Dancing,
  Music,
  Singing,
  Writing,
  Keeping Accounts.

  Half the Time is to be spent in these Things, and the other half to be
  employed in gaining the Latin and French Tongues, and those that
  please may learn Greek and Hebrew, the Italian and Spanish; in all
  which this Gentlewoman hath a competent knowledge.

  Gentlewomen of eight or nine Years old, that can read well, may be
  instructed in a Year or two (according to their Parts) in the Latin
  and French Tongues, by plain and short Rules accommodated to the
  English Tongue.

  Those that will bestow a longer Time may learn the other Languages
  before mentioned, if they please.

  Repositories also for Visibles shall be prepared, by which from
  beholding the things, Gentlewomen may learn the Names, Natures,
  Values, and Uses of Herbs, Shrubs, Trees, mineral Juices, Metals and
  Stones.

  Those that please may learn Limning, Preserving, Pastry, and Cookery,
  etc.

  The rate shall be certain £20 per Annum; but if a competent
  improvement be made in the Tongues, and the other Things before
  mentioned, as shall be agreed upon them, something more will be
  expected. But the Parents shall judge what shall be deserved by the
  Undertaker.

Sterne, who knew as much about struggles and adversity as most people,
used to tell this story about his young days: “I happened to be
acquainted with a young man from Yorkshire, who rented a window in one
of the paved alleys near Cornhill, for the sale of stationery. I hired
one of the panes of glass from my friend, and stuck up the following
advertisement with wafers:--

  Epigrams, Anagrams, Paragrams, Chronograms, Monograms, Epitaphs,
  Epithalamiums, Prologues, Epilogues, Madrigals, Interludes,
  Advertisements, Letters, Petitions, Memorials, on every occasion,
  Essays on every subject, Pamphlets for and against Ministers, Sermons
  upon any Text or for any Sect, to be written here, on reasonable
  terms, by

  A. B. Philologer.

“The uncommonness of the titles occasioned numerous applications, and at
night I used privately to glide into the office to digest the notes or
heads of the day, and receive the earnest which was directed always to
be left with the memorandums, the writing to be paid for on delivery,
according to the subject.” Yorick speedily became disgusted with this
employment, however, and as soon as he possibly could retired from it.

Another of the triumphs which have unfortunately not come down to the
present generation, and which many will consider to be hardly
compensated for by gas, steam, and electricity, the postal service and
the police system, is that of Mr Nunn, whose bill, published to the
world in the latter portion of the eighteenth century, runs thus:--

  _Breeches Making improved by Geometry._

  _Thomas Nunn_, Breeches-Maker, No. 29, Wigmore Street, Cavendish
  Square, has invented a System on a mathematical Principle, by which
  Difficulties are solved, and Errors corrected; its usefulness for Ease
  and Neatness in fitting is incomparable, and is the only perfect Rule
  for that Work ever discovered. Several hundreds (Noblemen, Gentlemen,
  and Others) who have had Proof of its Utility, allow it to excel all
  they ever made Trial of.

  _N.B._ An approved Method is adopted for keeping them clean without
  discommoding by Dust.

In some future day, when personal comfort again becomes one of the fine
arts, one of the chief tests for a wranglership may be the making of
mathematical breeches. If the age is very material, perhaps the approved
method of cleaning them may stand in stead of classics, which are
already going much out of fashion. Our next specimen comes from the
Emerald Isle, and though short is well marked with both of the most
prominent characteristics of the natives. It was given away and posted
up in various parts of Dublin at the end of July 1781:--

  This is to certify that I, Daniel O’Flannaghan, am not the Person that
  was tarred and feathered by the Liberty Mob, on Tuesday last; and I am
  ready to give 20 Guineas to any one that will lay me 50, that I am the
  other Man who goes by my Name.

  Witness my Hand, this 30th July.

  DANIEL O’FLANNAGHAN.

A man who can afford to lay seventy guineas to thirty that he is
himself, and nobody else, deserves credit for his boldness, if not for
his ingenuity. Another bill from Ireland, of a few years later on, next
claims our attention. It refers to a house to let in Coleraine, and is a
specimen of quite another kind of Hibernian humour:--

  _To be Let_

  To an OPPIDAN, a RURICOLIST, or a COSMOPOLITAN, and may be
  entered upon immediately.

  The House in STONE ROW, lately possessed by Capt. Siree. To avoid
  verbosity the proprietor with compendiosity will give a perfunctory
  description of the premises, in the compagination of which he has
  sedulously studied the convenience of the occupant--it is free from
  opacity, tenebrosity, fumidity, and injucundity, and no building can
  have greater pellucidity or translucency--in short, its diaphaneity
  even in the crepuscule makes it like a pharos, and without laud, for
  its agglutimation and amenity, it is a most delectable commorance; and
  whoever lives in it will find that the neighbours have none of the
  truculence, the immanity, the torvity, the spinosity, the putidness,
  the pugnacity, nor the fugacity observable in other parts of the town;
  their propinquity and consanguinity occasions jucundity and
  pudicity--from which, and the redolence of the place (even in the dog
  days) they are remarkable for longevity. For terms and particulars
  apply to JAMES HUTCHISON, opposite the MARKET HOUSE.

  _Coleraine, 30th September, 1790._

We commend this to that rather numerous class of people who like words
with plenty of sound, and regard sense as quite a secondary
consideration. Dogberry would have been delighted with it, and the
writer could have commanded his own price as a contributor to certain
newspapers, or as a sporting tipster. We have already given our readers
an advertising tombstone, which was a swindle, inasmuch as it was placed
up to the memory of a person who never existed. We now give another,
which is really what it pretends to be--an improvement of the
opportunity to combine business, not with pleasure, but with mourning.
It stood, we are told, in a burial-ground belonging to one of our old
ivy-clad churches in the North, and was an elegantly-carved memorial
stone, the inscription being:--

  Sacred to the Memory
  of
  JOHN ROBERTS,
  Stonemason and Tombcutter,
  Who died on Saturday, October the 8th, 1800.
  N.B.--The business carried on by the Widow at No. 1, Freshfield place.

[Illustration:

  HERE LYES
  JEREMY JOBBINS
  AN AFFECTIONATE HUSBAND
  AND
  A TENDER PARENT

  HIS·DISCONSOLATE·WIDOW
  IN·THE·HOPE·OF·A·BETTER·MEATING
  CONTINUES TO
  CARRY ON
  THE LONG ESTABLISHED
  TRIPE AND TROTTER
  BUSINESS
  AT·THE·SAME·PLACE
  AS
  BEFORE HER LAMENTED
  BEREAVEMENT

  READER·PAUSE·&·NOTICE THE·ADDRESS

]

Perhaps her being in the “tombstone line” may be an excuse for the widow
Roberts. We don’t suppose she needed one, however, for any one who would
do what she did would be quite callous as to the world’s opinions. Of
the two we much prefer the Frenchman who erected the stone to an
entirely supposititious person, to the widow who traded on her husband’s
grave. This reminds us that we have received, among many communications,
one containing the above sketch of an advertising tombstone, which the
writer, who dates from a well-known town in the north, Gateshead, states
positively stood in a neighbouring churchyard within his recollection.
The address, he says, was on the footstone. We give the illustration
“without prejudice.” Do tripe and trotters after all produce a prosaic
condition of the human mind suggested by this tombstone, or would the
relict of Jeremy have done as she did had her wares been of a different
kind? In the interests of the edibles referred to, for which we must
confess a weakness, we trust she would. But who shall say?

At the time of the marriage of George the Third’s eldest daughter to the
Duke of Wurtemburg, a curious little handbill was given away about
London. It was printed on both sides, and looked like a tract. Its
contents were to the following effect:--

  FRAGMENT _of a_ CHAPTER _concerning the curious_ MANGLE of BEETHAM
  _appointed to be read by all the_ LADIES _and_ LAUNDRESSES _of the
  land of Albion_.

  _By His Majesty’s special command._

  CHAP. I.

  _1 Beetham’s fame and diligence. 3 his marvellous mill. 6 he
  constructs a mangle which surprises the World. 8 The Princesses visit
  his museum and praise the curious Machinery. 16 He is mimiced by
  others. 18 The King grants his royal patent to the Artist. 22 Beetham
  is recompensed by the nobles and the people._

  NOW it came to pass, even towards the close of the eighteenth century,
  that there lived in the great city which is called London a certain
  man of the name of Beetham who had many curious inventions.

  2 The same mechanic while the world waged war against _Albion_
  cultivated with all diligence the arts of Peace in the ways of wisdom.

  3 When therefore he saw that his washing mill pleased the people and
  was daily employed by all throughout the regions of Britain and her
  colonies.

  4 Behold he also constructed another machine more marvellous than the
  first which is called a _Mangle_ even to this day. 5 Neither adhered
  he to the old gothic plan of his predecessors but formed it new and
  surprising in simplicity so that a little maiden could set it in
  motion.

  6 And it came to pass when a great company of ladies and laundresses
  beheld the infant turn the wheel with wonderful ease and moreover saw
  the wheel move backwards as well as the way of the wheel whose
  revolution was always the same and also saw it move as by self
  instinct.

  7 That they cried aloud with one voice saying, great and marvellous is
  the _Mangle_ of _Beetham_.

  8 And in process of time, the princesses and the nobles accompanied a
  certain great prince who came from a far country to carry away a royal
  beauty, even the eldest daughter of the King.

  9 And behold as they passed on their way to view the wonders of the
  great temple of _Paul_, one of the damsels lifted up her azure eyes
  and beheld the Museum of _Beetham_ fronting the temple of _Dunstan_.

  10 At that instant the child was turning the wonderful _Mill_ which
  laved the fine linen clean and white in the twinkling of an eye;

  11 Also another child by its feeble arm was moving the newly invented
  _Mangle_.

  12 And lo, one of the nobles cried, wherefore should we pass on
  further into the city, let us step aside and see this miracle.

  13 Now it came to pass that the company alighted from their gilded
  chariots and went into the _Museum_, and marvelled much at the curious
  machines.

  14 And when they saw the _Mill_ and the _Mangle_, the _Wringer_ also,
  and the machine for the _Churning_ of _Milk_, which even _Solomon_
  with all his wisdom never invented.

  15 They all with one accord commanded the master of the Museum to
  prepare for the _Princess_ one of each of these curious machines; to
  the end she might spread the fame of the inventor all over the land,
  in which she was soon to be a sojourner.

  16 ¶ Now--the _Mimic Machinists_ of those days by their enchantments
  strove to surpass _Beetham_, but failed by falling into the great
  _chaos_ of complication:

  17 So that, like the builders of Babel they were confounded; crying
  aloud, surely all machination against Beetham must fail, neither can
  we imitate the simplicity of his Mangle.

  18 And word was carried to the King in those days, even concerning the
  new invention of the artist of London.

  19 Which prevailed upon him when he also heard of the utility of the
  _Mangle_ in tender kindness to all the laundresses of the land to
  cause his Royal signet to be set on a certain parchment called a
  patent.

  20 So that until twice seven seasons should pass no man should imitate
  the machine but by the consent of _Beetham_ the Proprietor thereof.

  21 And when the King had so done, lo there was prepared many machines
  of various sizes in order that the high and the low, the rich and the
  poor, might use the same throughout the land, but Beetham was the
  vender of them all.

  22 And for those which the Princess and the Lords and Ladies of the
  Land did cause to be sent to them which were made of Oak whose
  duration shall far exceed the years of the generations of the sons of
  men and which were for smoothing all the linen of the Households of
  the mighty nobles, Beetham received certain pieces of money which
  being counted in the coin of Albion amounted to Ten guineas.

  23 And for such as were made of the wood called Beech he received nine
  pieces of gold and for others eight pieces of the like coin, but for
  less than eight pieces Beetham sent not the _Mangle_ forth among the
  inhabitants of the land.

  24 And behold all the people rejoiced extremely and the fame of the
  Mangle was spread abroad among all the isles of Britain even to the
  remotest part thereof; and the ships of the sea were laden with the
  same machines to the Colonies abroad, and in all those parts of the
  Earth where Economy is an object, where Convenience is desirable, and
  where Cleanliness is esteemed next to Godliness.

       *       *       *       *       *

  _Mr. BEETHAM’s_
  NEW PATENT PORTABLE WASHING MILL

  IS so universally used and Economical, that it deserves the serious
  attention of the Public in general.

  1 It renders the linen whiter and cleaner than it can be made by any
  other method.

  2 It will wash more in one hour than ten women can in the same time.

  3 It is so saving, that for Five Shillings it will wash as much as
  will cost One Guinea in the common mode.

  4 The price of the Mill is very soon cleared by what it saves in soap,
  coals, manual labour and the preservation of the linen.

  This invaluable invention may be seen from Eleven until Two every day.

  A Mill large enough to wash 8 shirts 4l. 4s. 14, 4l. 14s. 6d. 18, 5l.
  5s. 24, 6l. 6s.

  One to first and second, 10l. 10s. Wringer, 1l. 1s.

This Beetham was the grandfather, on her mother’s side, of Miss Reed,
the celebrated old lady of Stamford Street, whose houses were for many
years in a notoriously dismantled and dilapidated condition, and who
not very long since left a hundred thousand pounds to the Brompton
Hospital. Her mother was a pupil of Opie’s, and before she married Mr
Reed, a solicitor, some of her pictures were exhibited as those of her
master. She late in life became eccentric, but not to such an extent as
her daughter, whose name was at one time almost a household word.
Another tradesman of the City, who was well known for his devotion to
the art of advertising, early in the present century put forth this,
which is rather magniloquent, considering the subject which forms its
basis:--

  MAY THE WINGS OF EXTRAVAGANCE _be clipped by the Scissars of
  Economy_--was the constant toast of a person who knew very well the
  value of a sixpence. To all good economists would Romanis wish to be
  recommended, though but a bad practitioner himself, (he is a little
  like the clergy--“Don’t do as I do, but as I tell you to do.”) When
  you want real good Stockings at a low price, come to the Sign of the
  Regent, 33 in Cheapside--there you have them in perfection, and I am
  certain sixpence in a pair is worth saving; and any one that is
  possest of the least spark of parsimony will give their assent.
  Frugality is certainly a good thing--it enables a people to pay
  taxes--to pay their armies--to thrash the French--to make peace on
  good terms--to extend commerce--to make people live long and
  comfortable:

  FOR STOCKINGS
  Romanis against the whole World, at his Mart, 33 Cheapside.

From small beginnings great events arise--only see what benefit to the
nation as well as to private individuals accrued from the purchase of
cheap stockings. Romanis has never been mentioned in conjunction with
Wellington, yet he seems to have had a good deal to do towards building
up the victory of Waterloo, and ought to have been remembered, say as
much as Blucher, who has been immortalised in the way of boots while the
stocking-seller has been clean forgotten.

Another curious advertiser was William Hall of Lynn, who flourished
early in the present century. According to Hone, Hall was a celebrated
antiquarian bookseller, and received the alias of Will Will-be-So. He
was also an auctioneer, and on the market-day he would knock down his
lots in great style, and with many whimsical remarks. He had a craze for
verse, and in such as follows all his advertisements were written:--

LYNN, 19_th_ SEPTEMBER, 1810.

      First Tuesday in the next October,
    Now do not doubt but we’ll be sober!
    If Providence permits us action,
    You may depend upon
              _AN AUCTION_,
                        At the stall
    That’s occupied by WILLIAM HALL.

    To enumerate a task would be--
    The best way is to come and see;
    But not to come too vague an errand,
    We’ll give a sketch which we will warrant.
      About _one hundred books_, in due lots,
    And pretty near the same in _shoe-lasts_;
    _Coats_, _waistcoats_, _breeches_, shining _buttons_,
    Perhaps ten thousand _leather cuttings_,
    Sold at per pound--your lot but ask it,
    Shall be weighed to you in a basket;
    Some lot of _tools_ to make a try on,
    About one hundred-weight of _iron_;
    _Scales_, _earthenware_, _arm-chairs_, a _tea-urn_,
    _Tea-chests_, a _herring-tub_, and so on;
    With various more that’s our intention,
    Which are too tedious here to mention.
      N.B.--To undeceive, ’fore you come nigher,
    The duty charged upon the buyer;
    And, should we find we’re not perplext,
    We’ll keep it up the Tuesday next.

We have two more specimens of the English peculiar to Continentalists,
the first being of about the same period as Hall’s verse. It is an exact
copy of a card circulated by the landlord of an hotel at Ghent:--

  Mr. Dewitt, in the Golden Apple, out of the Bruges Gate at Ghent, has
  the honour to prevent the Persons who would come at his house, that
  they shall find there always good and spacious Lodgings, a Table
  served at their taste, Wine of any quality, etc. Besides he hires
  Horses and Chaises, which shall be of a great conveniency for the
  Travellers; the Bark of Bruges depart and arrives every day before his
  door. He dares flatter himself, that they shall be satisfied, as well
  with the cheapness of the price, as with the cares such an
  establishment requires.

This and the next, which was given to the world in 1822, may cause
English people who fancy they have the most correct knowledge of French,
as well as the true Parisian accent, to be a little cautious in their
belief, for there is no doubt that the authors of both notices were very
strong on their powers of “spiking the English,” as many French
announcements have it:--

  M. MARLOTEAU et Cie.

  _Manufacturers from Paris,_

  37, MONTMORENCY-STREET,

  _To London 14 Broad Street, Oxford street_.

  Acquaint the Trade in general, that they have just established in
  LONDON.

  A Warhouse for FRENCH FLOWERS, for each Season, feathar from hat
  ladies of their own Manufacture elegant fans of the NEWEST TASTE.

  And of Manufactures of PARIS, complette sets ornaments for balls,
  snuff boxes scale gold and silver, boxes toilette, ribbons and
  embroidered, hat et cap, from Ladies of the newest Taste, China, all
  sorts, etc.

  He commit generally the articles from Paris, Manufacturers.

  And send in all BRITISH CITY.

  Attandance from Nine o’Clock in the Morning till five in the
  Afternoon.

Before and during the year 1825 a man used to stand at the corner of
Fleet Market, and deliver handbills in the interest of a society which
had for its object the genteel and comfortable interment of its members.
One of these advertisements has been preserved, and a copy of it is
appended. Its commencement is curious, and must at times have somewhat
disconcerted incautious readers, who in the midst of their business
cares or pleasure pursuits suddenly had the notice of death thrust upon
them. Sir Thomas Browne, who professed to know all about mortality, says
that “man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the
grave.” Whoever drew up the handbill was certainly aware of the craving
which exists in many minds, especially among the lower orders, for a
good funeral, and made abundant provision for it. Really a _tædium vitæ_
almost creeps over one upon reading it. Who would not be willing to die,
in death to be attended as is promised? Two rows all round of
close-drove best black japanned nails feelingly invite and almost
irresistibly persuade us to come and be screwed down. What aching head
can resist the temptation to repose presented by the handsome crape
shroud, the cap, and pillow? What sting is there in death which handles
with wrought gripes are not calculated to pluck away? What victory in
the grave which the drops and the velvet pall do not render at least
extremely disputable? And, above all, a pretty emblematic plate, with
the angel above and the flower beneath, is utterly irresistible. But we
in our rhapsody had forgotten to copy the bill:--

  BURIAL SOCIETY.

  A favourable opportunity now offers to any person, of either sex, who
  would wish to be buried in a genteel manner, by paying one shilling
  entrance, and twopence per week for the benefit of the stock. Members
  to be free in six months. The money to be paid at Mr. Middleton’s at
  the sign of “the First and Last,” Stonecutter Street, Fleet Market.
  The deceased to be furnished as follows: a strong elm coffin, covered
  with superfine black, and finished with two rows, all round, close
  drove, best black japanned nails, and adorned with ornamental drops, a
  handsome plate of inscription, angel above, and flower beneath, and
  four pair of handsome handles, with wrought gripes; the coffin to be
  well pitched, lined, and ruffled with fine crape; a handsome crape
  shroud, cap, and pillow. For use, a handsome velvet pall, three
  gentlemen’s cloaks, three crape hatbands, three hoods and scarfs, and
  six pair of gloves; two porters equipped to attend the funeral, a man
  to attend the same with band and gloves; also the burial fees paid, if
  not exceeding one guinea.

The notice further informed the public, that though the society had only
been established a very few years, upwards of eleven hundred persons had
put down their names. It is worthy of remark that so many people of the
industrious classes should have clubbed their twopences to avoid what
they considered the disgrace of a parish funeral, and should doubtless
have rejoiced when their six months had expired, and they stood face to
face with the handsome velvet pall and etceteras. The very poor are to
this day very particular about their funerals, and many a savoury morsel
is the living body deprived of that the lifeless one may go comfortably
to its last home. A labouring man’s greatest pride often is that he gave
wife, parent, or child a good funeral; and this feeling is perfectly
independent of the wake peculiarities and festivities that obtain among
a certain section of the lower orders. Readers must be warned against an
idea which they may be apt to form about the place whence these
proposals issued. From the sign of the “First and Last,” they might
conclude that Mr Middleton was a publican who, in assembling a club of
the above description at his house, had a view to his own interest
altogether foreign to the purpose for which the society was instituted.
Mr Middleton was no publican, though he hung out a sign, but an honest
undertaker, who also dealt in wicker ware, and who, by the exhibition of
both cradle and coffin as a device, attracted attention to which the
motto “First and Last” contributed in no small measure.

The following humorous handbill was about 1825 given away by a publican
in the neighbourhood of the Strand. It is certainly a gem in its way,
and shows an originality which was more likely to have been possessed by
one of the needy and seedy customers hanging about in the vicinity of
the theatres fifty years back, than by the well-fed, well-clad, and
probably bumptious “bung,” who ought to have made the writer free of his
various entertainments during the long “run” they doubtless obtained if
the performance was in any way as good as the programme:--

  _Licensed by Act of Parliament._
  And under the immediate Patronage of the Public.
  THEATRE OF EPICUREAN VARIETY
  at the
  KING OF PRUSSIA
  Wych Street.

  W. Trampton has the honor of informing his friends and the public that
  his compact comfortable snug and _cosey_ little Theatre is now open
  for the Winter Season; where from the well known excellence of the
  company engaged he trusts to meet with a share of that encouragement
  it will be his endeavour to merit and his pride to acknowledge.

  A peculiar advantage attending this Theatre will no doubt be justly
  appreciated by the public, namely that tickets of admission may be had
  for the separate branches of the entertainment, the price of which
  together with the hours of performance are specified in the following
  bill:--

  _During the Week the following Entertainments will be presented._

  A favourite Burletta in One Act, called
  SOMETHING LIKE BREAKFAST.

  The chief characters by the celebrated foreign performers,
  Signiors TEA COFFEE SUGAR etc.

  Price of admission 10d. Hours from 8 to 10 A.M.
  _After which, a Bagatelle, or Interlude in One Act, called_
  IF YOU LIKE IT, LUNCH IT.

  The characters by
  Messrs CHESCHIRE      GLOUCESTER      CRUST
         KIDNEY         RAREBIT etc.
  And other well known Performers who will be found ever ready at
  the call of the Public.

  _At the Hour of three P.M. a Grand Melodrama in two Acts called_
  HOW SHALL I DINE?

  The chief Character on Monday by the celebrated old Roscius
  of the Epicurean Stage,
  ROAST BEEF.

  The other Characters by the celebrated _Murphys_ etc., assisted by
  the _Little Pickles_ etc.

  Guards, Messrs _Cayenne_ etc. Scenery by Messrs _Diaper and
  Assistants_. Dresses by _Mrs Cook_.

  Music (a _joint_ composition of _Handel_ and _Stick_) by Messrs _Knife
  and Fork_.

  Price of Admission One Shilling.

  The principal Character in the above-mentioned Piece will be sustained
  by different Actors of celebrity during the week, viz.

  Tuesday _Boiled Mutton_, Wednesday _Roast or Boiled Pork_, Thursday
  _Veal and Bacon_, Friday _Boiled Beef_, Saturday _Roast Mutton_.

  At Eight P.M. every evening the well known eccentric Pat Murphy (in
  company with his friend Pat Butter) will have the honour of making his
  appearance in his much admired hot-jacket of brown.

  _Theatre closed every Evening at half past Eleven._

  N.B. A stout and venerable white-headed Porter from the office of
  Messrs Goodwyn & Co. will attend the Theatre for the purpose of
  keeping good order during the performance.

  _The whole got up under the immediate care of_
  Stage Manager _W. Trampton_.

Between forty and fifty years ago there was an amusing contest going on
between two tradespeople in the City: both were hairdressers, and lived
opposite each other. Seeing that the one throve by selling pomade made
of bear’s grease, the other, knowing that it was just as good and more
profitable to sell any other material in pots with “bear’s grease” on
the label, started in opposition, using similar pots to those sold by
his opponent, filled with an inexpensive unguent. The first dealer, who
was known to keep bears in his cellar, and who had himself taken up once
a week before the sitting alderman as a nuisance, by way of
advertisement, killed a bear upon this, and hung him up whole in full
sight in his shop. He also wrote in the window, “A fresh bear killed
this day!” The other, who had but one bear in all the world, which he
privately led out of his house after dark every night, and brought him
back in the morning (to seem like a new supply going on), continued his
sale, and announced in his window, “Our fresh bear will be killed
to-morrow.” The original vendor then, determined to cut off his rival’s
last shift, kept his actual bears, defunct, with the skins only half
off, like calves at a butcher’s, hanging up always at his door,
proclaimed that “all bear’s grease sold in pots was a vile imposture,”
and desired his customers to walk in “and see theirs with their own
eyes, cut and weighed from the animal.” This seemed conclusive for two
days; but on the third, the cunning opposition was again to the fore,
with a placard “founded on the opinion of nine doctors of physic,” which
stated that bear’s grease “obtained from the animal in a tamed or
domesticated state, will not make anybody’s hair grow at all.” In
consequence of which, he went on to say, “he has formed an establishment
in Russia (where all the best bears come from), for catching them wild,
cutting the fat off immediately, and potting it down for London
consumption.” And the rogue actually ruined the business of his
antagonist, without going to the expense of killing a single bear, by
writing all over his house, “Licensed by the Imperial Government--Here,
and at Archangel.”

George Robins, the auctioneer, was a profound believer in the value of
advertisements, and exercised all his ingenuity and ability, both of
which were considerable, to devise fresh schemes for attracting public
notice. His powers of producing a good bill were remarkable, as was also
his facility of description. Robins’s style has been so often commented
upon, and his work so often copied and burlesqued, that it is hardly
worth while our touching upon either him or his bills. As, however, such
a book as this would be hardly complete without a reference to the
puffing genius of modern days, we select a portion--and only a portion,
mind--of his description of the Colosseum in Regent’s Park, one of the
greatest failures of speculative enthusiasts known, which, despite
Robins and his panegyric, and despite the strenuous efforts which have
been made to cultivate an unwilling populace into believing in it as a
place of amusement, is now being demolished to make way for a set of
dwelling-houses planned upon the site on which was reared the building
described by the poetically-fancied auctioneer as, among many other
things, a

  =CYCLOPÆAN STRUCTURE=,

  WHERE DESCRIPTION FAILS TO PORTRAY

    “Its eloquent proportions,
    Its mighty graduations,”

  WHICH, EVEN WHEN SEEN,

    “Thou seest not all, but piecemeal thou must break,
    To separate contemplation, the great whole.”

  THE EXQUISITE PROPORTIONS OF

  =THE CLASSIC PORTICO=,

  One of the finest specimens of

  =THE GREEK DORIC=,

  TOGETHER WITH

    “The Dome, the vast and wondrous Dome,”

  WHICH PROUDLY

    “-----------------------------Vies
    In air with earth’s chief structures,”

  Win our admiration, while there is nothing of ancient or modern days
  that can compete with it either in

  ^Classic Elegance, Grandeur of Effect, or Beauty of Proportion;^

  And it must remain to future ages a monument of the genius of the
  architect, as an

    “Outshining and o’erwhelming edifice.”

  The stupendous purpose for which the COLOSSEUM was erected is too
  well known to need description.

  =THOUSANDS AND TENS OF THOUSANDS=

  Having been attracted by

  THE PICTURE OF LONDON,

  Which covers the interior of the external wall,

  =THE MODERN BABYLON=,

  Which occupied the artist upwards of four years in delineating its
  endless details from the dome of St. Paul’s at the quiet hour of
  morning, when the buildings of this great metropolis were unobscured
  by smoke, and the early mists dispersed by the sun’s vicegerent
  power,--this picture now

  “Stands within the Colosseum’s wall.”

  THE BUILDING CONTAINS

  =A GRAND SALOON OF ART=,

  Surrounding the interior of the whole edifice,

    “All musical in its immensities,
    Rich marbles--richer painting--”

  Stored with productions of modern artists, models of ingenious
  machinery, and a variety of scientific experiments to attract the
  spectator, and is well calculated for any and every exhibition of an
  extensive nature.

    “Enter--------------thy mind,
    Expanded by the genius of the spot,
    Has grown colossal!”

  On the outside of the main building are magnificent Conservatories
  filled with every kind of exotic, and decorated with

  _FOUNTAINS AND JETS D’EAU_,

  Equalling in beauty the most celebrated

  ^Fountains of Versailles & St. Eldefonso^.

  =Two Thousand Eight Hundred Persons=

  HAVE PAID FOR ADMISSION DURING ONE DAY

  To view this extraordinary and incomparable work of art.

  =THE COLOSSEUM’S GRANDEUR=

  ENCOMPASSED THEM WITH WONDER--A SUBLIME
  CREATIVE SPIRIT IN THIS WORLD OF MIRACLES.

  It may be well to observe that continued success will be rendered
  certain by a change of scene, and the purchaser has
  only to call to his aid

  =THE MAGIC INFLUENCE OF STANFIELD’S PENCIL=

  To create a new sensation, and enlist thousands to partake of the
  refreshing delight created by his versatile and unrivalled talent.
  Indeed, it will not be requisite to tax ingenuity very greatly to
  think of an infinite variety of ways by which a large fortune may be
  made. It has for years past produced from

  =Three to Five Thousand Pounds a Year=,

  And this without any artificial aid, or so much of industry and tact
  as this wonderful building seems especially to have invited.

Robins’s eloquence very often led him to describe things as they were
not, and now and again he had to recant and make amends. He is generally
credited with having referred to a gallows which stood upon part of an
estate, as a unique and elegant hanging wood, and thereby obtaining a
considerably larger sum for the property than it was in any way worth.
Among Robins’s many eccentricities this must not be reckoned, as the
hanging-wood episode, though true in itself, belongs to an earlier time,
the trick having been played during the last century. When a man gets
credit for the possession of any peculiarity, every story that can be
raked up of a suitable kind takes him for its originator or leading
spirit, and innumerable tales were at one time current with regard to
the great auctioneer, of which he was perfectly innocent. So it is in
other things. What did Foote, Garrick, Sheridan, Hook, Sydney Smith,
Hood, Barham, Rogers, Jerrold, and numerous other of our celebrated
wits, know of a quarter the sayings and doings that have been ascribed
to them? Little indeed, we fancy. But there are some things which Robins
did say and do which have not been recorded. In answer to a lady who
remarked to him that in his graphic descriptions he must have used up
the entire dictionary, Robins said, “Madam, I’ll give five pounds to any
charitable society you like to name if you can find me a word I have not
used.” Mrs Macauley might have taken him at his word, and would
doubtless have won the money, but the lady we speak of declined the
contest. There is not much in this, except as showing to what an extent
his powers of description led him. Having given one of his sayings, we
will conclude with an item from his doings, a description of the villa
and garden of W. Harrison, Esq., Q.C. We trust we shall cause no one to
be discontented with his or her present abode by giving this
description--rather do we hope that one of the new race of picturesque
reporters may be tempted by it to study under Robins, and thereby
improve his condition:--

  In attempting an adequate representation of what has been aptly
  termed
  =A LITTLE HEAVEN UPON EARTH=,

  Much of the difficulty Mr. ROBINS feared to encounter he is happily
  relieved from by the extraordinary renown which the late worthy
  possessor has imparted to this incomparable retreat.

    “Thus far we sail before the wind,”

  Exclaims the individual who is flattered by having been selected for
  this interesting Sale, but fear and trembling now succeeds in
  encountering the Herculean task of pourtraying the countless beauties
  that are congregated

  =Within the Grounds of this Elysium=.

  It would puzzle much higher talent than he can bring, adequately to
  describe this Landscape, but it must be attempted; and Mr. ROBINS
  prays that the reader will bear with him a little longer, under the
  assurance that condensity shall be his motto, at the same time
  avoiding that cloudy region entered by the witty Flaccus, who,

    “Aiming at brevity became obscure.”

  _THE GROUNDS_

  Extend to near Five Acres, and the extraordinary tact that must have
  presided in arriving at this scene of perfection, must be viewed, it
  must be seen to feel and appreciate what seems to partake of Fairy
  Land. Mr. LOUDON has indulged the public with Twenty-two Vignettes and
  Plans to hand down to posterity a faint idea of

  =The Velvet Ornamental lawn=,

  On which is congregated the most rare and extensive assemblage of
  Plants and flowering Shrubs that is to be met with in England.

  From all

  THE FLORICULTURAL EXHIBITIONS

  The treasures were quite sure to find a home at Cheshunt, indeed the
  late Proprietor’s judgment in the Cultivation of Rare and Valuable
  Plants was quite unique, and his Gardener, Mr. PRATT, a prototype of
  his employer. It would fatigue the reader to give in detail the host
  of Rare Plants that adorn these Grounds, the value of which is past
  belief--more than a Thousand Pounds have been consumed alone in rare
  Exotics; the masses of Growing Plants, the French Garden, and all this
  (by the way) is relieved and varied by

  =THE ORNAMENTAL WATERS AND ISLAND=,

  Varying and necessarily improving this beauteous scene. Perpetual
  breaks and peeps are contrived, by different views, to look on the
  Waters, in which Thousands of Gold and Silver Fish enjoy their
  “sportive gambols.” Correct judgment is made very manifest in the
  disposition of these Grounds, by avoiding the whole being seen, except
  by slow degrees. Then there are dispersedly dotted about throughout
  the Lawn--The Rustic Alcoves, the Chinese Temple, Grottos, and covered
  Seats, Orchidaceus and Fern Houses, and Aviary.

  A Mount is devoted to the Show of Aloes during the Summer, rendering
  the _ensemble_ most captivating; a Hermit’s Cave, covered with Ivy; a
  Gravel Walk, belted by American Borders of Rare Plants; a beautiful
  Grotto, adorned by a fine piece of Statuary; a Rustic Summer House,
  fitted up in the Indian style; a smaller Grotto, fitted in Stone, of
  grotesque and rustic masonry; in fact, everything that sagacity or the
  human mind could well conceive, seems to have been achieved here, to
  render this spot

  =A PERFECT PARADISE.=

  From the Terrace Walk that environs it, a perpetually interesting
  scene of the Lawn, in varied forms of beauty (the Church Steeple
  peeping out in the distance, to vary the scene) is disclosed, and is
  so ingeniously and cleverly managed that the deciduous Trees, during
  the Summer, afford constant protection from the heat of the sun, and
  during the Winter (being then naked) admit the genial warmth of the
  sun to keep dry the Gravel Walks.

From the canny North Country we get two bills, the first of which is
likely to shake the belief of those who imagine that swindlers and
impostors have little chance in the border counties, where the babies
are said to be born with their wisdom teeth ready cut, and to “know
their way about” before they are out of leading-strings. J. A. was fully
possessed of his share of artfulness, and though his name has not come
down to us, it being just the same in the bill as here printed, his
initials were well known some years back, and his practice was very
successful:--

  THE WHOLE ART OF FORTUNE-TELLING,
  BY J----n A----k, BARTON.

       *       *       *       *       *

    _Deep in the dismal Regions, void of Light,
    Three Witches, for Consultation, meet to Night;
    So, sacred Sisters, your secret Mysteries state,
    The Witches leaders, and their great Powers relate._

       *       *       *       *       *

  WHO begs most respectfully to acquaint his Friends that he has, for
  the Benefit of the Public, commenced the above Business; and, from the
  long Time he had studied under the different Masters of the Magical
  Mysteries in the present Age, also, in all the ancient and modern
  Books, in Astrology, Nicromancy, Divinations, and all the magical
  Charms, Spells, Rites, Enchantments, and hidden Mysteries in past and
  future Events, flatters himself that he has become Proficient in his
  Art.

    Hail, Medea, hail! if still he scorn the Spell,
    By Fate, I’ll force him to the Gates of Hell!
    Such potent Sorceries an Assyrian taught,
    As to a magic Charm the Drugs he wrought.

  J. A. can break any Charm caused by Enchantment; can also immediately
  name the Planet under which a Person is born; and will also inform any
  Person whether he or she will be married, and to whom; and can inform
  all married Men, to their Satisfaction, in all the secret Transactions
  which they may suppose to have taken place with their Wives; can also
  conjure back any stolen Goods, and bewitch any Person or Animal who
  has done any one an Injury, &c. &c.

    Hail, Hecate! and give my rising Spell
    Ev’n Appollonius’s Sorceries to excel:
    Bid my strong Witchery match ev’n Circe’s Skill,
    O’er the dire Rites,--my Mysteries fulfil.

  J. A. also begs to add that he has not spared any Expence to make
  himself Master of all the magical Mysteries, and is confident of his
  own Abilities in being able to give every Satisfaction to those who
  may favour him with a Consultation will meet with due Attention, but
  their Letters must be post-paid, inclosing a Post-office Order for 5s.
  The Age of the Applicant must be stated. Persons attending will be
  charged 2s. only. J. A. is also a Dealer in Talismanick Charms,
  engraved with magical Characters, 10s. 6d. each.

A man who commences a sorcery business for the benefit of the public
deserves to succeed, especially when he can break any charm caused by
enchantment, conjure back stolen goods, and so play the avenger’s part
as to bewitch any person or animal who has done any one an injury. It is
a pity J. A. did not get some of his mysterious agents to put his lines
a little in order. The other is a Tyneside advertisement, and shows also
a partiality for verse--indeed consists of nothing else, if we except
the name and address; but its theme is far more material than that of
its companion. Unlike in the case of the publican of Wych Street, we
will not assume that Mr Catcheside employed any one over the following
effusion, of which he is welcome to all the credit:--

  JOHN CATCHESIDE,
  GROCER & TEA-DEALER,
  BIGG-MARKET,
  _NEWCASTLE_.

    YE gentlemen of town and country,
    A shop, next door to Whitfield’s entry,
    Is just fit up for your inspection,
    By Mr Catcheside’s direction;
    Good ladies, too, I crave your favours,--
    To please you shall be my endeavours.
    Without the fairer sex are pleas’d,
    The mind of man is never eas’d.
    But ladies, pray, and gentlemen,
    Call, and I’ll please you if I can.
    I’ve Teas of all sorts you can mention--
    To keep them good is my intention:
    All from the India-house direct,
    Warranted genuine you may expect;
    Which I do sell on lowest terms,
    And not as gentlemen let farms;
    I’ve Sugars too, the same to sweeten,
    As good as ever yet were eaten;
    Loaves, well refin’d as ’ere you saw,
    Which boiling water scarce will thaw.
    I’ve Treacle, Juice, and Sugar-Candy,
    And Turkey Coffee strong as brandy;
    The very best Plantation ditto,
    With Fry’s and White’s best Patent Cocoa,
    And Churchman’s Patent Chocolate,--
    All which I sell at a low rate.
    I’ve fine Tobacco, Patent Shag,
    Twist, Saffron Cut, and Common Rag;
    And Snuff, whatever kind you choose,
    To clear your brain, and warm your nose;
    Zant Currants, commonly call’d Spice,
    Orange and Lemon Peel, and Rice;
    Malaga Raisins, too, I sell,
    With Bloom, and Sun, and Muscatell,
    With which you well may stuff your wigs;
    Or here’s French Plumbs, or Turkey Figs;
    Or Prunes, if you do think them fitter,
    With Almonds, Jordan, Shell, and Bitter;
    Nutmegs, Cloves, Cinnamon, and Mace,
    Good as you’ll get at any place;
    Season your syllabubs and custards;
    For beef, I’ve Vinegar and Mustards.
    All kinds of Pepper, too, I’ll sell ye,
    Macaroni and Vermacelli;
    Anchovies, Cassia, and Cassia-buds,
    And many other sorts of goods,
    Prepar’d for puddings, pies, and sauces:--
    Come, buy them cheap, ye bonny lasses!
    And if your birds for seeds do gape,
    I have Canary, Hemp, and Rape;
    And further down you need not wander
    For Annis, Carraway, and Coriander;
    Of Ginger, too, I’m never scant,
    For any purpose you may want.
    I’ve Sago fine, and Capers both,
    And famous Barley for your broth!
    Salt Petre, Bay and Basket Salt,
    To make your hams without a fault;
    With Picked Isinglass and Staple,
    To make your ale fit for the table:--
    Then what can man desire more,
    Than beef, and broth, and ale in store?
    But dinner’s done; come, draw the table,
    Here’s Soap to wash while you are able;
    But if you think that will not do,
    Here’s Poland Starch and Powder Blue;
    And if you’d have some coarser washes,
    I have good Pearl and Comby Ashes;
    Should you incline to wash by night,
    I’ve Candles, too, will shew you light.
    To spin dry wool you need not toil,
    I’ve plenty Whale and Florence Oil.
    Set by your wheels, your tongs, and poker
    And paint your nooks with Yellow Ochre.
    Put all your dye-pots to one side,
    When with fresh Indigo supplied;
    Then paint above your lintel-head
    And chimney-pieces with Black-Lead.
    If still materials you do lack,
    I’ve Fuller’s Earth and Ivory Black,
    Logwood, Copperas, and Whiting,
    Yea many more things not worth writing.
    Once more your favours I solicit,
    I’m ready waiting for a visit;
    Most due attendance will be given
    From seven at morn till eight at even;
    Or later, if it seems expedient,
    By your most humble and obedient,

  JOHN CATCHESIDE.

Getting back to London, we come upon a bill of the kind now and then
adopted with regard to posters, the idea in which is to convey a
different notion at sight from that which is given by close inspection.
In the following the plan has been carried out with great nicety, the
author’s endeavour being to make the notice look like a Government
proclamation, and as one of the best specimens of the kind we have ever
seen it is presented to the reader:--

  [Illustration: V. R.]

  _PROCLAMATION!_

  ^Whereas^,

  It being Our Royal Will and Pleasure that our well-beloved, trusty and
  loyal subject HARRY JOHNSON, should for the Amusement of our
  well-beloved, trusty and loyal subjects of Hoxton and its Vicinity,
  give a grand entertainment on ASH WEDNESDAY, the 9th of February,
  1842, for the BENEFIT of Himself, when he trusts from the Talent he
  has selected on this occasion, and the well-known respectability and
  celebrity of all parties, he cannot fail of securing a TREAT

  TO THE
  _=British Public=_.

  H. J. feels proud and happy to announce that many Professional Friends
  have, in the most handsome manner, proffered their valuable Services:
  they are enabled to do this with greater facility as no other Place of
  Amusement in London is open on that Evening. Their Names will
  transpire in future bills. Miss PHILLIPS will on this night sing, in
  her usual sweet and inimitable style,

  _WANTED_

  =A GOVERNESS=

  The Beneficiare will also sing,

  FOR THE

  First time, the Young

  =PRINCE OF WALES=.

  A Gentleman has kindly consented on this occasion to sing an Entire
  New Comic Song, to be called “Comfort is all my View; or

  SALARY

  Is no object!!” Mr. H. PARKER will also sing his much admired ballad
  of Had I

  =£1,000 A-YEAR!!!=

  A Lady will sing

  NO FOLLOWERS ALLOWED.

  ALL APPLICATIONS TO BE MADE (FOR TICKETS) ON OR BEFORE

  ASH WEDNESDAY, FEBRU. 9, 1842,

  AT THE OFFICE

  ROYAL BRITANNIA SALOON, HOXTON OLD TOWN.

  =_The Ceremony of_ IN-STALL-ING _to commence
  at Half Past_ SIX _o’clock Precisely_.=

  GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!

The attention of readers will probably be attracted by the advertisement
so elaborately concocted and carefully worked out. If its promoters
received any extra support because of it, they certainly deserved what
they got, as the plan is difficult to connect with any but large bills.
The next item we have brings us to the year 1853, and is again from the
county of Northumberland. It is far more pretentious than the
composition of Mr John Catcheside, but by no means so successful. It is
from the pen of a general shopkeeper, who evidently considered he had
done something when he had been through his proofs, seen this to press,
and forwarded copies to unsuspecting, and, as it turned out,
unsympathising, families about G----, a small place not very far from
Newcastle:--

  _To the inhabitants of G---- and its neighbourhood._

  The present age is teeming with advantages which no preceding era in
  the history of mankind has afforded to the human family. New schemes
  are projecting to enlighten and extend civilisation, Railways have
  been projected and carried out by an enterprising and spirited nation,
  while Science in its gigantic power (simple yet sublime) affords to
  the human mind so many facilities to explore its rich resources, the
  Seasons roll on in their usual course producing light and heat, the
  vivifying rays of the sun and the fructifying influences of nature
  producing food and happiness to the Sons of Toil, while to the people
  of G---- and its neighbourhood a rich and extensive variety of
  Fashionable Goods is to be found in my Warehouse, which have just been
  selected with the greatest care. The earliest visit is requested to
  convey to the mind an adequate idea of the great extent of his
  purchases, comprising, as it does, all that is elegant and useful,
  cheap and substantial to the light-hearted votaries of Matrimony, the
  Matrons of Reflection, the Man of Industry, and the Disconsolate
  Victims of Bereavement.

This composition having been printed and distributed, the author waited
impatiently for its powerful effect, and when to his great astonishment
he discovered that it had produced none, he, with the irritability that
nearly always accompanies neglected genius, resolved to get back and
destroy every copy of his essay, and thereby deny to posterity what his
own generation could not appreciate. Fortunately for ourselves, and for
ages yet unborn, a copy was preserved, and printed in _Notes and
Queries_.

Most dwellers for any time in London remember Lord Chief Baron Nicholson
and his Judge and Jury Society, which used to be held at the Coal Hole
in the Strand. Virtuous readers may shudder at the mention of such a
place; but time was when the deliberations and decisions of the jury, as
well as the directions of the judge and the peculiarities of the
witnesses, were productive of mirth independent of _double entendre_
among an audience composed of anything but roysterers and howling cads.
In such halcyon days, when Nicholson was in the flesh, looking much more
like a chief baron than nine-tenths of the possessors of the title ever
did, the following handbill was printed:--

  The Lord Chief Baron

  NICHOLSON

  Begs to inform his best friends, the Public, that he and the learned
  Gentlemen of the JUDGE AND JURY SOCIETY, have left the Garrick’s Head
  in Bow Street, and now hold their Forensic Sittings at the celebrated
  COAL HOLE TAVERN, Fountain Court, Strand, every Evening.

    A JUDGE!--and in a Coal Hole too!
      Quoth rustic John, I can’t believe thee.
    That sounds too funny to be true,
      Come NICHOLSON, now don’t deceive me.

    I wont deceive thee in the path,
      So at the ancient Coal Hole meet me,
    BLACKSTONE and COKE burn on the hearth,
      And LAW flares up, my lad, to greet thee.

  DO NOT FORGET TO REMEMBER
  THE COAL HOLE
  IN THE STRAND.

Law was the proprietor of the establishment, and he “flared up” to some
tune, so far as the production of suppers required flaring. And suppers
were both numerous and excellent at the Coal Hole; the stewed or
scalloped oyster, the devilled kidney, the broiled bone, and the modest
“rabbit” receiving considerable attention during the progress of the
mock trials. Subsequently the Coal Hole became a resort for journalists
and actors, who used to be admitted to a snug old room behind the bar;
but all that is changed now, an ambitious landlord having modernised the
place and driven forth its old _habitués_. Not by violence or through
incivility, but by means of plate-glass, electro tankards, and other
goods, the unwonted and unwelcome aspect of which has made wanderers of
the old warm-hearted coterie. Why will people “restore” and improve the
few comfortable old taverns still left about London, and drive honest
folk from the snug and unpretending corners they have occupied for
years? This same restoration is shortsighted and impolitic. The houses
become nondescript; they are too modern, and perhaps too respectable,
for the old customers, not glaring and gassy enough for the new; and so
they stand, with just sufficient about them to remind us of the joys
that are past, and not enough to tempt us to renew them in the future.

Turning from taverns, coal-holey and otherwise, we have finally to
notice that kind of advertising which is the result of an attempt to
make profit out of others’ misfortunes. At the time, but a very few
years back, of the Overend and Gurney failure, an enterprising
linen-draper in the North-West district of London put forth the
following handbill (p. 555), which was of large size, surrounded by a
thick black mourning border, and which, in addition to being given away,
was sent about by post. For reasons which are obvious, we have changed
the names, and have no hesitation in giving an opinion that the
proceeding was a very sharp bit of business, worthy of the hero of the
wooden nutmegs.

It was followed by a long list of the goods to be sold, with the market
prices and those at which they were offered, the practice of making up
two sets of figures on goods having been found very efficacious of late
years. This brings us well up to the present time, and as that is quite
capable of taking care of itself without any assistance from us, we will
conclude, in the hope that, though we have perforce passed many
interesting specimens by, our selection, considering the space at
command, has not been in any way injudicious.

  The Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster.

  LAMENTABLE CASE OF RUIN AND DEATH.

  =THE “STANDARD” of the 29th ultimo, truly observes--=

  “=Difficult indeed would it be to exaggerate the extent of the
  mischief that was done by the fall of the great house which had for
  generations stood firm as a rock *  *  *  * nor would it be easy to
  adequately describe the woe and desolation, the loss and ruin,
  consequent upon the suspension and disastrous liquidation of the
  Company.=”

  A more distressing case than the one in question it is impossible to
  conceive.--It is briefly told.--An old-established Linen Draper of the
  City of London, (Mr. JOB HUCKABACK), had invested the Savings of a
  life-time in the Overend Gurney Scheme. The result is known. Still his
  Business remained, and he might have struggled on, but further calls
  being imminent, his last hope was crushed, so, Bankrupt and
  broken-hearted, he died,--leaving a wife and five young children to
  the mercy of fate.--

  The Trade Creditors have done what they can by waiving all claims upon
  the Estate, and have generously resolved that the Stock shall be sold
  for the benefit of the Widow and Children.

  THE STOCK, WHICH IS HIGHLY CHOICE AND
  VALUABLE, HAS BEEN ENTRUSTED TO

  =MR. CHARLES MARTEL=,

  With prompt Orders TO REALISE AT ONCE ON
  ANY TERMS.

  THE FIRST GRAND SALE OF SELECTED GOODS WILL BE
  HELD IN THE
  Large Assembly Room of the ---- Hotel, N.W.
  (☞ Ladies may avoid passing through the Hotel, by presenting
  enclosed Card to Messenger at Private Door.)

  On Monday, 1st, Tuesday, 2nd, Wednesday, 3rd,
  and Thursday, 4th March,
  From Ten a.m. till Dusk each Day, closing on Thursday, at 5 p.m.,
  prompt, _not a minute later_.

  The Sale will be by Private Treaty, thus affording Ladies leisure to
  freely inspect. Although prices are quoted as a guide, NO OFFER WILL
  BE REJECTED, AS EVERYTHING MUST BE SOLD IN THE BRIEF TIME SPECIFIED.




CHAPTER XIX.

_AMERICAN AND COLONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS._


In such a go-ahead nation as the United States, it is only natural that
advertising should be a very important feature of its business
arrangements; and in perusing most of the papers which have travelled
across the Atlantic, we find that our cousins have what are called much
broader notions concerning the duties of advertisements than we have.
The word broader we use in its conventional sense, and without any wish
to take responsibility upon ourselves; for the so-called broader view
is, after all, only the view which will be found expressed in those of
our pages which contain notices published a hundred years ago. So that
perhaps, after all, the broader view is our modern view; for it is, or
certainly should be, the improved view. In course of time the American
press may adopt the plan now in use here so far as regards all the
papers which we consider representative, that of having an outward and
visible show of decency in the advertisement columns, no matter what
darkness or danger lurks beneath. With very few exceptions, the papers
which come from the United States--we refer not to the hole-and-corner
but to the high-class, which are widely read and disseminated among
family circles--contain advertisements which would be rejected by the
gutter journals of this country. A hundred years ago, as we have said
and instanced, our papers were not at all particular, so long as they
could get advertisements, what they took; now a sense of what is right
and proper compels them to refuse many notices which would be highly
paid for--would be paid any price for--and in time the American press
will doubtless follow the self-abnegating example. The broadened view we
think, therefore, is ours, yet our style is often referred to as
narrow-minded. The narrow mind is that which sacrifices its honour and
credit in its greed for immediate profit and hunger after the almighty
dollar.

For many reasons there is a great difficulty in dealing with American
advertisements. Sometimes they are too long for quotation, at other
times they are too broad; and very often one is not quite sure whether
or not it is a really _bona fide_ advertisement he is reading, or only
an expression of gratitude from an editor for the favours he has
received or fondly anticipates. American editors have peculiar notions
on the subject of advertisements and the duties of advertisers. In a New
York journal which boldly announces itself as the American Gentleman’s
Newspaper, there is, or used to be, an editorial notice which informs
all whom it most concerns, that, so as to meet the requirements of the
family circle, and so that the paper may be left upon every gentleman’s
breakfast-table, the use of the name of the Deity is expressly forbidden
in the advertising or other columns. We quote from memory, but if these
are not the exact words, the line of argument--if argument such a _non
sequitur_ can be called--is identical with that used by Mr Wilkes, the
proprietor and editor of this model and gentlemanly paper. It would be
well, however, if the American lady’s newspaper erred in no greater
particular than the American gentleman’s does. For the honour of America
it is to be sincerely hoped that its ladies know nothing of the sheets
which are flaunted here with the names of women as the editors, and
which are said to be written especially for women. It is hard to believe
that any sane creature, much more a woman, could write such festering
scurrility, such fatuous blasphemy, and such shameless indecency and
advocacy of open adultery as appear in the columns of one at least of
these women’s journals; but it is easy to imagine that a few besotted
females, suffering from erotic and other dementia, should exhibit
themselves to the scornful gaze of the virtuous or the only moderately
vicious for the purpose of obtaining notoriety--far easier than to
believe that the women of America are the readers of and subscribers to
these papers and their opinions. We are quite sure that no woman worthy
of the name would look a second time at the organ of Victoria C.
Woodhull and Tennie C. Claflin--quite as sure as that the two persons we
have named are, with their followers, quite unfit to be regarded as
women. We have referred to this paper and its “editors” because it and
they represent a class of journals and journalists which are,
unfortunately for Americans, too apt to be taken as standard
representatives of the type, and from no desire to accord them the
spurious celebrity they so anxiously covet.

Still, without wishing to impute anything like iniquity to American
newspapers generally, it must be admitted that the vast majority of them
have rather lax notions of propriety, and their motto being “Get money,”
they are apt to ignore the existence of ill in any advertisement,
provided the presenter of it has his “pile” ready, and will “come down
handsome.” This is evident throughout the whole of the transatlantic
news world; and though there are, we feel bound and are glad to admit,
very honourable exceptions, they are but the exceptions which prove the
rule. As the editors and proprietors generally accuse each other, they
cannot feel annoyed if we, standing afar off, make our notes according
to what they give us. If they prefer to feel angry, however, we shall
not stand in their way; but doubtless the majority are too intent on
getting money to care much for what is said about them. Indeed there are
many who exult in the notion of making capital by all kinds of
advertisements, from the puff preliminary to the nauseating display of
vile quackery or undisguised immorality, and vary this with agreeable
little interludes in the way of black-mail. In several American
newspapers open and undisguised announcements have been published that
their columns are to be bought, and that for a price they will advocate
any cause or take any side of a disputed question.

But throughout all this there is a great spice of humour, and in the
general run of American advertisements it is much to be feared, and only
natural to assume, that a stricter code of morality would result in a
vast increase of dulness, the general concomitant of prim
respectability. Yet it is possible to be wise as well as witty, and even
now a good percentage of American advertisers prove this. From these we
shall endeavour to select our stock, and so give all the humour without
intruding the unpleasantness, except where it is absolutely necessary
for the purpose of giving a fair idea of the American system. A good
instance of ingenuity is that of the grocer in Pennsylvania, who on the
fence of a graveyard inscribed in large white letters, “Use Jones’s
bottled ale if you would keep out of here.” Grave subjects are often
chosen as opportunities for advertising, one thing frequently offered
being “Port wine as pure as the tears which fall upon a sister’s grave.”
A firm engaged in the “statuary line” state that “those who buy
tombstones of us look with pride and satisfaction upon the graves of
their friends;” and from a large upholstery establishment the following
emanates:--

    Their parlor furniture is elegant,
    Their bedroom furniture is rich,
    Their mattresses are downy,
    Their coffins are comfortable.

There is, after all, not much opportunity for the display of novelty in
advertisements nowadays; but a merchant in Newark, New York State,
succeeded very well by leaving his column entirely blank with the
exception of this note, in very small type, at the bottom: “This space
was sold to A. E. Brennan and Co., but as their business is
sufficiently brisk already they decline to use it.” This anecdote in its
progress has been related of most large houses in or about New York and
Boston, but Brennan was the man who gave rise to it. Quite as
business-like, and rather more cynical, was the Ohio tradesman who, in
large print, gave the following forth: “Ministers of the Gospel supplied
with goods at cost, if they agree to mention the fact to their
congregations.” And though the next is a purely private communication,
the author of it was evidently a born advertiser: “If the party who took
a fancy to my overcoat was influenced by the inclemency of the weather,
all right; but if by commercial considerations, I am ready to negotiate
for its return.” In an advertisement headed “Full-dress funeral,” which
appears in a Philadelphia paper, is the intimation that “all the
gentlemen friends of the late Mr Smith desirous of participating in the
funeral will appear in full-dress suit and white gloves at Happy Hall,
at nine o’clock a.m. on Friday morning, Jan. 29, and proceed from thence
in a body to the house of the deceased.” This peculiarity of a.m. in the
morning reminds us of the announcement on a bridge at Denver, Colorado,
which states that “no vehicle drawn by more than one animal is allowed
to cross this bridge in opposite directions at the same time;” though
our intention, while touching on funerals, was to give the subjoined
letter from an enterprising undertaker in Illinois to a sick man: “Dear
sir, having positive proof that you are rapidly approaching Death’s
gate, I have, therefore, thought it not imprudent to call your attention
to the inclosed advertisement of my abundant stock of ready-made
coffins, and desire to make the suggestion that you signify to your
friends a wish for the purchase of your burial outfit at my
establishment.” And thereon followed an elaborate list of the essentials
to a first-class funeral, the reader having nothing to do but to supply
the corpse. Apropos of supply, the following from a Chicago
confectioner’s notice is worthy of remark: “Families supplied by the
quart or gallon.” This ostensibly refers to olives, but to us it seems
very suggestive of olive branches. Occasionally, in running through the
papers, one is surprised at the appetite of a lady who wants “to take a
gentleman for breakfast and tea;” at the single-mindedness of a
boarding-house keeper who advertises that “single gentlemen are
furnished with pleasant rooms, also one or two gentlemen with wives;” or
the boldness of a merchant who, in a free country, openly gives notice
that there is “wanted--a woman to sell on commission.”

We have already referred to the “editorials” which have a more or less
remote connection with advertisements, and now select two examples with
which to illustrate our meaning. They are of very opposite characters,
and will serve to give both extremes, between which all sorts of puffs
may find classification. The first is very common. Says the editor of a
Yankee paper:--

  A correspondent wants to know what kind of a broom the young lady in
  the novel used when she swept back the ringlets from her classic brow.
  We don’t know, and shouldn’t answer if we did. We only undertake to
  answer queries of a practical and useful character. If our
  correspondent, who we presume is a gentleman, had asked who was the
  best and most popular hatter in the city, we would have promptly and
  unhesitatingly answered, James H. Chard of Broadwalk.

This tradesman had evidently supplied, or promised to supply, a new
covering for the editorial head, with perhaps a little light refreshment
as well. The other specimen is far more deliberate, and at the same time
more respectable. It is from a Buffalo paper of half-a-dozen years back,
and is not at all unlike the very earliest advertisement recommendations
of our own country:--

  We are assured that the firm of Eastman & Kendall, 65, Hanover Street,
  Boston, Mass., advertised in our columns, is trustworthy and
  reliable. For 10 cents they send a patent pen fountain and a check
  describing an article to be sold for $1. Their club system of selling
  goods is becoming quite popular, particularly with the ladies. It is
  worthy of a trial.

Two specimens of editorial personal advertisements will doubtless
suffice. One was published by an Illinois journalist on assuming the
duties of chief of the staff, and it gives a very good idea of the plan
upon which he intended to “run” his paper. It says:--

  Sensational, distressing details of revolting murders and shocking
  suicides respectfully solicited. Bible class presentations and
  ministerial donation parties will be “done” with promptness and
  despatch. Keno banks and their operations made a speciality. Accurate
  reports of Sunday School anniversaries guaranteed. The local editor
  will cheerfully walk 17 miles after Sunday school to see and report a
  prize fight. Funerals and all other melancholy occasions written up in
  a manner to challenge admiration. Horse races reported in the highest
  style of the reportorial art. Domestic broils and conjugal felicities
  sought for with untiring avidity. Police court proceedings and sermons
  reported in a manner well calculated to astonish the prisoner,
  magistrate, and preacher.

The other is the opposite of the foregoing, and was penned under very
different circumstances. It is from a Keithsburg journal, and first saw
the light under the head reserved for notices of deaths:--

  About two and a-half years ago we took possession of this paper. It
  was then in the very act of pegging out, having neither friends,
  money, nor credit. We tried to breathe into it the breath of life; we
  put into it all our own money and everybody else’s we could get hold
  of; but it was no go; either the people of Keithsburg don’t appreciate
  our efforts, or we don’t know how to run a paper. We went into the
  business with confidence, determined to run it or burst. We have
  busted. During our connection with the _Observer_ we have made some
  friends and numerous enemies. The former will have our gratitude while
  life lasts. The latter are affectionately requested to go to the
  deuce.

Occasionally these advertising notices take a widely different form, and
refer to the benefits which are to be found from a use of the columns
in which they appear. Take the following as an instance of the kind of
work we mean:--

  THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS has the largest circulation of any daily paper
  published in the United States, and, with the exception of one in
  England and one in France, the largest in the world. We will contract
  for advertisements in the NEWS upon the following terms: Three (3)
  cents per line for every (10) ten thousand of our circulation. Every
  bill when presented to be accompanied with the sworn affidavit of the
  pressman who prints the paper, the clerk who delivers the paper, and
  the cashier who receives the money. No paper to be counted as
  circulation except those that are actually sold and paid for.
  Believing this to be the most fair and equitable plan ever offered to
  advertisers, we make the proposition.

This is a fair and equitable idea which none but the proprietors of
rival journals could object to. And that rivals do have their say about
each other’s advertisements, the following article, which is called
“Ensnaring the Simple,” and which at one stroke deals two blows--one in
the journalistic and the other in the electioneering interest--will
show. It is from a New York daily, and runs thus: “_The Sunday Mercury_
is published by Cauldwell & Whitney, Editors and Proprietors. Its senior
editor is William Cauldwell, late Senator from the IXth District,
comprising Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties, and now the
Democratic candidate for re-election. From yesterday’s issue of that
_Sunday Mercury_, we copy the following advertisements, omitting only
the addresses of the respective advertisers:--

  TWO YOUNG MEN, residents of New-York, of some means, are desirous of
  forming the acquaintance of two ladies between the ages of sixteen and
  twenty-two, with a view to sociability and quiet enjoyment. To those
  that are worthy, pecuniary assistance will be willingly rendered, if
  necessary. Those employed in some light occupation preferred. Address,
  appointing interview, ---- and ----, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A GENTLEMAN, aged twenty-five, would be pleased to form the
  acquaintance of a young lady, or widow, under twenty-five years of
  age. Must be educated, and of good reputation. One engaged during the
  day preferred. A desirable party will meet with a permanent friend.
  Disreputable parties need not answer this. Address in confidence for
  ten days, ---- ----, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A GENTLEMAN of means, alone in this city, desires the acquaintance of
  a respectable, genteel young lady of refinement, who is, like himself,
  friendless and alone; the most honorable secrecy observed. Address,
  with full particulars, ----, Mercury office, 128 Fulton-st., New-York.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A FRENCH GENTLEMAN, newly arrived in this country and lonely, wishes
  to form the acquaintance of a lady who could prove as true a friend to
  him as he would be to her. Address, in confidence, as discretion will
  be absolute, ----, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG GENTLEMAN would like to make the acquaintance of an
  affectionate and sociable young lady who would appreciate a true
  friend; one residing in Brooklyn preferred. Address ----, box 3, 761
  New-York P.O.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A GENTLEMAN OF MEANS wishes to make the acquaintance of a young lady
  of sixteen to eighteen years (blonde preferred); one who would
  appreciate a companion and friend may find one by addressing ----,
  Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG WIDOW would like to make the acquaintance of an elderly
  gentleman of means, who would be willing to assist her, in return for
  true friendship. No triflers need answer. Address ----, Station E.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A GENTLEMAN, thirty years of age, with some leisure time at his
  disposal, would like the acquaintance of a handsome young lady,
  resident of Brooklyn. Address, stating age and other particulars,
  ----, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A KIND, ELDERLY GENTLEMAN, a stranger, wishes to enjoy the society of
  an agreeable young lady. Address ----, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A GENTLEMAN of position desires the society of a young lady or widow.
  Would afford moderate pecuniary aid to a respectable and deserving
  person. Address, with particulars, appointing interview, ----, Mercury
  office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A STRANGER in New-York desires a few lady correspondents whom he can
  call upon, and who would be pleased to accompany him to theatres, &c.
  Address ----, New-York University.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG MAN of refined taste would like to meet with a good-looking
  lady (not above twenty) who is engaged during the day. Address,
  appointing interview, ----, No. 4, Mercury office.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A LADY would like to meet with a gentleman who would thoroughly
  appreciate her exclusive society. For particulars, address ----, Box
  2, No. 688 Broadway.

“These are but fair specimens of columns of such advertisements which
have for years appeared in the successive issues of _The Mercury_. The
publishers put over them the head ‘Matrimonial,’ but the advertisers do
not countenance that fraud. They use _The Mercury_ and pay for it as
though it were a house of infamous resort; and, if there be any moral
difference between permitting this use and keeping a house of ill-fame,
we cannot see it. We do not doubt that at least One Thousand foolish
girls have been ruined through the instrumentality of these shameful
advertisements. Must not that be a monstrous dispensation of justice
which, while Rosenzweig is (most righteously) sent to State Prison,
should send Cauldwell to the Senate? What do you think of it? Electors
of Westchester, Putnam, and Rockland Counties! read the above
advertisements carefully, and say whether you can aid the election of
Cauldwell to the Senate without sharing his guilt? Do not pretend
ignorance of his iniquities: for above is the evidence which no man can
gainsay. There are more such in this week’s issue, as there have been in
every issue of that sheet for years. Fathers, brothers, pure men of
every degree! read those infamous advertisements carefully, and then
judge if you can vote to send their publisher to the Senate!” This is
all very well, and extremely virtuous, but in the high-class daily
journal from which it is taken there are plenty of advertisements of a
character anything but beyond reproach. We are far from wishing to
uphold the character of the _Mercury_, which is no more and no less than
a Pandarus among papers, but the axiom, “Physician, heal thyself,” will
apply to the champion of outraged innocence just quoted.

An astonishingly elaborate way of bringing the “puff pars” of
enterprising and liberal tradesmen under immediate notice is shown in a
weekly, possessed of considerable notoriety, that is published in
California. This paper, the _San Francisco Newsletter_, has several
times with pleasing candour informed the world that its opinions and
advocacy are within easy purchase. Which means that those who do not
think its friendship worth buying had better beware of its animosity.
For those who doubt this we reproduce the following, which was probably
placed on the front page of the _Newsletter_ because the directors of
the company referred to refused to patronise that organ of publicity,
and which has now been running for some time:--

  A PERMANENT PARAGRAPHIC ADVERTISEMENT.

  [RESPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO THE SPRING VALLEY WATER WORKS.]

  =A miner’s inch of water= is about twenty thousand gallons. The usual
  price for an inch of water in the mines is ten cents. The Spring
  Valley Company sells water in large quantities at seventy-five cents
  per thousand gallons, or at fifteen dollars seventy-five cents per
  inch--which is one hundred and fifty-seven times the price which
  miners pay. Furnished in small quantities to housekeepers, the Company
  charges from thirty to fifty dollars an inch--five hundred times the
  miners’ rates.

  IGNOTUS.

The _Newsletter_ was originally known in England as the vehicle of a
vein of humour peculiar even in America, and mainly dependent upon a
contempt for all religious formalities and observances, an affectation
of atheism, and an evident desire to render all those things ridiculous
that believers hold most sacred. Through all this ran a vein of ability
which even those who objected most to the degradation of it were bound
to admit, and the smart utterances of the chief writer on the staff were
not only quoted widely throughout America, but now and again found
supporters among advanced journalists in England. How different now is
the _Newsletter_! Its flippancy is as rampant as ever, but its attempts
to make fun out of the doctrines of faith in general and Christianity in
particular are of the dreariest, while in place of the cleverness which
once made its columns readable there is a scurrility worthy of the
typical _Stabber_ or _Rowdy Journal_. And the more its ability becomes
deteriorated, the more do its abuse, its blasphemy, and its blackmailing
qualities exhibit themselves. It is evident that the old leader has
departed, and left in his place one whose servile imitation must have
been his best credential for the office of successor.[47] But it was in
reference to the _Newsletter’s_ advertisements that we commenced; though
they are in truth so mixed up with its other matter that the distinction
is subtle indeed. The construction of the paper is unique. Each page is
complete in itself, and in the “backs” and “gutters”--the inside
margins, in fact--there are numerous advertisements. The chief
peculiarity, however, of the paper is that of spreading its puffs and
notices about among the ordinary matter. The following extract will give
some idea of the prevailing plan:--

    “=Tell me=, O, thou ancient warrior,
      How it is you look so strong.
    Full well I know, for four-score years
      You’ve wandered round--say, am I wrong?”

    “I have lived for four-score years, sir,
      Drinking naught but Cutter’s best.
    If you want to live as long, sir,
      I advise you to invest.”

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Shortening a Telegram.=--A gentleman took the following telegram to a
  telegraph office:--“Mrs Brown, Liverpool street.--I announce with
  grief the death of uncle James. Come quickly to read will. I believe
  we are his heirs.--John Black.” The clerk, having counted the words,
  said, “There are two words too many, sir.” “All right, cut out ‘with
  grief,’” was the reply.

       *       *       *       *       *

    =The other afternoon= I strayed,
      About the hour of four,
    To see if in the town I’d find
      A first-class carpet store.

    I wandered round for a long time,
      Until a friend did tell
    Where was the only place in town--
      The store of Plum & Bell.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =As an early morning train= stopped at the station, an old gentleman
  with a cheerful countenance stepped out on the platform, and inhaling
  the fresh air enthusiastically exclaimed, “Isn’t this invigorating?”
  “No, sir, it’s Auchterarder,” replied the conscientious porter. The
  cheerful old gentleman went back to his seat in the carriage.

       *       *       *       *       *

    =All that my pining spirit= in its youth
      Has pictured forth of excellence, is she;
    The same ideal figure full of truth,
      Alike in gentleness and purity:
    By Bradley & Rulofson made divine.
    Oh how I love to worship at her shrine!

       *       *       *       *       *

  =The Man Who Struck Him.=--“Show me the man who struck O’Docherty,”
  shouted a pugnacious little Irishman at an election; “show me the man
  who struck O’Docherty, and I’ll--” “I am the man who struck
  O’Docherty,” said a big, brawny fellow, stepping to the front; “and
  what have you to say about it?” “Och, sure,” answered the small one,
  suddenly collapsing, “and didn’t you do it well!”

       *       *       *       *       *

    =We cannot stay= thy footsteps, Time.
      Thy flight no hand may bind
    Save His, whose foot is on the sea,
      Whose voice is in the wind.

    Yet we can make a cloudy day
      As bright as in sunshine,
    And drive the demon care away
      With draughts of Gerke Wine.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Mr. John Owens=, who lately died at Jackson, aged 114, was in some
  respects a remarkable man. He blushingly admitted that he had used
  whisky since he was ten years old, and had chewed tobacco and smoked,
  more or less, for one hundred and three years, but he never claimed
  that he had seen Washington.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Wherever Minerva=, the Goddess of Wisdom, presides, or Pomona, or
  Ceres require book work to be done, there will be found the school and
  office furniture made by Gilbert & Moore. It is universally
  acknowledged to be the best that is made in this or any other State.
  If once used, no other desks, stools, forms, garden seats, etc., will
  ever meet with any favour. Their patent school desk, with seat
  attached, is the most perfect thing we ever saw, and is as strong as
  it is neat.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =A Yankee editor= has just had his family reinforced, whereupon he
  indulges in the following poetic outburst:--

    “Ring out, wild bells--and tame ones too--
      Ring out the lover’s moon!
    Ring out the little slips and socks,
      Ring in the bib and spoon!
    Ring out the Muse, ring in the nurse--
      Ring in the milk and water!
    Away with paper, pens, and ink--
      My daughter, oh, my daughter!”

       *       *       *       *       *

  =The philosopher’s stone= has not yet been discovered, but modern
  science has found out a means by which the energy of youth can be
  imparted to those who have long passed the meridian of life. Such a
  boon to mankind is the Elixir Damiana, that the well known Doctor Jose
  Juniga, from whose prescription it is made, has earned a name not soon
  to be forgotten. The Elixir can be procured at Chas. Langley’s, the
  agent, and at all drug stores.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Edmund Munger=, speaking of the time when he was a boy, says it was
  the custom of school children as you passed a school-house, to make a
  bow; but in these later days, as you pass a school-house, you must
  keep your eye peeled, or you will get a snowball or a brickbat at the
  side of your head.

       *       *       *       *       *

    =Help me to sing=, ye muses Nine,
    In praises of that house on Pine,
    Which by its name, the Saddle Rock,
    All praise and say the finest stock
    Of oysters in the town are there;
    Both raw, and cooked with greatest care.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Mr. Redpath= applied to Mr. Warner, author of “My Summer in a
  Garden,” to enter the lecturing field. The genial author replied that
  there was less prospect now than ever of his consenting to do so. “It
  seems to me,” he wrote, “that the older I grow, the wiser I grow.”

       *       *       *       *       *

  =The Six-Mile House=, on the San Bruno Road, is the favourite calling
  place on the road. No one ever thinks of passing without stopping to
  have a word with Harry Blanken.

       *       *       *       *       *

  =Twenty-eight= different kinds of “bitters” sold in Rhode Island for
  “strictly medicinal use” are undergoing analysis by the State Chemist
  from an excise point of view.

This is the best part of the paper at the present time, and the best
part of this--that is, the most original--is formed by the
advertisements. There must now and again be a great run upon that
edition of “Joe Miller” the proprietor keeps in his room, when the
“exchanges” refuse to give out new or second-hand humorous paragraphs.
We will conclude this section of our cousins’ peculiarities with the
following, picked out from a Boston sheet, where it was nestled close by
the biggest of the advertisements:--

  =Keep on Advertising.=

  Don’t fear to have a small advertisement by the side of a larger
  competing one. The big one can’t eat it up.

Which, freely translated, means, “Keep on advertising, and don’t be
afraid. We’ll take you, big or little, so long as you have the money,
and of course we’re quite disinterested.”

In the year 1795, an English paper, speaking of the transatlantic
journalism of the time, says: “As one proof of the commerce and trade of
America, there are four daily papers printed in the city of New York;
and it is not uncommon to enumerate 350 advertisements in a single
paper. The price of an advertisement is from 1s. to 1s. 6d., and a paper
sells for one penny. But what injures the beauty and authenticity of
their papers is the want of a little red mark at one corner of the
sheet; a blessing that has been withheld from them since the imprudent
declaration of independence.” The last remark is evidently satirical. It
was sixty years after this that we got rid of our glorious red mark. But
we have an advertisement of some years before the declaration of
independence, which is subjoined:--

  _Bush Creek, Frederick’s County, Maryland_, Oct. 11, 1771.

  RUN away from the subscriber, a Servant Maid named Sarah Wilson, but
  has changed her name to Lady Susanna Carolina Matilda, which made the
  public believe that she was her Majesty’s Sister; she has a blemish in
  her right Eye, black rolled Hair, stoops in her shoulders, makes a
  common practice of writing and marking her cloaths with a Crown and a
  B. Whoever secures the said Servant Woman, or takes her home, shall
  receive five Pistoles, besides all cost and charges.

  WILLIAM DEVALL.

  I entitle Michael Dalton to search the city of Philadelphia and from
  thence to Charles-Town, for the said Woman.

  W. D.

Sarah Wilson, who was quite an extraordinary adventuress, had been
lady’s-maid to the Hon. Miss Vernon, sister to Lady Grosvenor, and
whilst in her service found means to obtain admittance into the royal
apartments, where she broke open a cabinet and robbed it of some
jewellery of value. For this she was apprehended, tried, and sentenced
to death, but through the interposition of her former mistress was
reprieved, and transported to Maryland, where on her arrival she was
exposed for sale, and purchased by the Mr Devall above named. She soon,
however, managed to make her escape into Virginia, travelled through
that colony, and through North into South Carolina. When at a proper
distance from Mr Devall, she assumed the title of Princess Susanna
Carolina Matilda, and passed herself off as a sister to the Queen. She
was dressed in a manner likely to favour the deception, and as she had
with her part of the stolen jewels, and a miniature portrait of the
Queen, which by some means she had managed to conceal before her trial
and during her subsequent journey, she succeeded in deceiving many of
the planters. Thus she travelled from one gentleman’s house to another,
affecting the manners of royalty, and admitting many of the gentry to
the honour of kissing her royal hand. To some she promised governments,
to others regiments, with promotions of all kinds in the Army, Navy, and
Treasury. In short, she acted her part so plausibly that very few
suspected her of being a deceiver. During the period of her imposture
she levied heavy contributions upon some people of the highest rank in
the southern colonies. At length the above advertisement appeared in the
papers, and Mr Michael Dalton made his appearance in Charlestown,
raising a loud hue and cry. Seeing that the game was up, her Serene
Highness disappeared, and for a short time baffled the exertions of the
police; but in the end she was captured and suffered condign punishment.

While on the subject of runaway slaves we will skip a few years, and so
give a companion to this Cleopatra in the person of one Anthony,
certainly a congenial spirit. The following is from a Raleigh paper of
February 1815, in which it is preceded by the figure of a runaway negro.
Anthony is evidently a paragon possessed of all a paragon’s failings,
and Caleb Quotem, so renowned in farce, scarcely equalled the subject of
this advertisement in the variety and whimsical nature of his
accomplishments:--

  TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS REWARD.

  [Illustration]

  RAN away from Raleigh, a month or two ago, a mulatto man, named
  _Anthony_, well known in Raleigh, and many parts of the State, as
  having been, for several years, the body servant of General Jones, and
  mine lately as a pressman and news-carrier in the Star office. Anthony
  is about twenty-five or twenty-six years of age, five feet eight or
  ten inches high, is a mongrel white, has a tolerably large aquiline
  nose, bushy hair, a scar on one of his cheeks; when in good humour has
  a pleasing countenance.

  He works and walks fast, is lively and talkative, full of anecdote,
  which he tells in character with much humour; is an excellent
  pressman, indifferent at distributing types, a tolerable carpenter and
  joiner, a plain painter, an excellent manager of horses, drives well
  and rides elegantly, having been accustomed to race riding; is fond of
  cock-fighting (and of man-fighting when drunk), and is said to _heel_
  and _pit_ with skill; he can bleed and pull teeth, knows something of
  medicines, is a rough barber, a bad but conceited cook, a good sawyer,
  can lay bricks, has worked in the corn fields, and can scratch a
  little on the fiddle.

  He can do many other things; and what he cannot do, he _pretends_ to
  have a knowledge of. His trades and qualities are thus detailed,
  because his vanity will undoubtedly lead to a display of them. His
  master-vice, or rather, the parent of all his vices, is a fondness for
  _strong drink_, though sometimes he will abstain for months. His
  clothes cannot be described, but he carried away few or none, and ’tis
  expected will appear shabbily. He is an artful fellow, and if taken up
  will tell a most plausible story, and possibly show a forged pass.

In 1806 the _Connecticut Courant_ contained the following, which gives
an unpleasant idea of what many wives might say in reply to the warning
advertisements of desperate husbands if they only thought it worth
while, or rather if they thought of it at all:--

  EAST WINDSOR, U.S.

  THOMAS Hutchins has advertised, that I have absented myself from _his
  bed and board_, and forbid all persons trusting me on his account, and
  cautioned all persons against making me any payment on his account. I
  now advertise the public, that the same Thomas Hutchins came as a
  fortune-teller into this town about a year ago, with a recommendation,
  which, with some artful falsehoods, induced me to marry him. Of the
  four wives he had before me, the last he quarrelled away; how the
  other three came by their deaths, he can best inform the public: but I
  caution all widows or maidens against marrying him, be their desire
  for matrimony ever so strong. Should he make his advances under a
  feigned name, they may look out for a little, strutting, talkative,
  feeble, meagre, hatchet-faced fellow, with spindle shanks, and a
  little warped in the back.

  THANKFUL HUTCHINS.

There are a good many more notices in the American papers which show
that conjugal infelicity is no great rarity over there. The following
exquisite effusion appeared in the _Port Gibson Correspondent_ in
November 1825:--

    O matrimony! thou art like
      To Jeremiah’s figs--
    The good are very good indeed,
      The bad--too sour for pigs!

  WHEREAS, thank God! my wife Rachel has left my bed and board for the
  hereafter mentioned provocation: this is to give notice that I will
  pay no debts of her contracting after this date.--We were married
  young; the match was not of our own choosing, but a made-up one
  between our parents. “My dear,” says her mother, with a nose like a
  gourdhandle, to her best beloved, “now if we can get our neighbour
  Charles to consent to a marriage between our Rachel and his son, we
  shall have no more care upon our hands, and live the rest of our days
  in undisturbed repose.” Here my beloved began to whimper; the truth
  is, she loved tenderly, loved another--and they knew it; he had no
  property, however, and that was their only idea of happiness: but she
  could not conceive how they could feast in joy upon her misery. “Hold
  your tongue,” says her surly father, “don’t you think your parents
  know better how to direct your attachments than you do yourself?”
  “Yes, my dear,” says the mother, “you should always be governed by
  your parents--they are old and experienced and you are too young to
  think for yourself.” The old dad and mam forgot that they were a
  runaway love match at the age of nineteen. But poor Rachel said not a
  word for she was afraid of her daddy’s cowhide, that he had used
  sixteen years on nobody’s back but his daughter’s. She seemed reckless
  of her fate, was almost stupid, and did not know that she could alter
  it for the worse. My father, by persuasion and argument, dazzled my
  fancy with the eight negroes that would be her portion, “which,” said
  he, “put upon the quarter section which I shall give you, will render
  you independent, and you are a fool if you do not live happily with
  such an angel.”--“Angel!” said I, but I said no more, for my dad (in
  peace rest his ashes!) would have flown into a passion with the
  rapidity that powder catches fire; and its ebullition, like the blaze,
  would scorch me, I well knew.--We were married. I thought, as her
  father had ruled her with so tough a whip, I could do it with a
  hickory switch, and for my leniency gain her everlasting gratitude. We
  have now lived together six years, and have had no offspring except a
  hearty quarrel every little while. In truth I found her more spirited
  than I imagined; she was always ready to tally word for word, and blow
  for blow; but I never used a switch till the other day, always taking
  my open hand. The other day, coming home from work, very much fatigued
  and hungry, I found my wife in rather an unusual fit of passion,
  scolding some pigs that had overset the buttermilk. “Rachel,” says I,
  “make me some coffee.”--“Go to ----!” says she. I could not stand
  this; I had never heard her swear before. “I will chastise you for
  that,” says I. “Villain,” said she, “I’m determined to bear no more of
  your ill usage. Instead of using the mild and conciliating language
  which a husband ought to use, you always endeavour to beat me into
  measures--touch me with that whip, I will leave your house, and take
  my niggers with me too, so I will.” She had said such things so often
  that I did not regard her, and belaboured her handsomely. The next
  morning after I had gone out to work, away she bundles sure enough,
  and when I came home at noon, I found the house emptied of bag and
  baggage, and all the negroes taken but the three that were at work
  with me. I have lived _happily_ since, however; and she may keep all
  she took, if she will stay at her crooked-nose mammy’s and never
  trouble my house again.

  J. JOHNSTONE.

  Laurence County, Miss.
  Nov. 1, 1825.

This is a vigorous specimen of condensation, and contains, according to
the present standard, quite enough plot for a three-volume novel, with
special opportunities for essays on the horrors of slavery. If any
rising authoress--we will give way to a lady--should happen to stumble
across this book, and see her opportunity, we will waive all rights, as,
after trying to sketch out the story, it was abandoned in despair, owing
to our inability to keep our wandering attention from the next
advertisement, which gives a companion picture, though the complaint is
this time laid by the woman:--

  $100 REWARD--For the apprehension of Lewis Turtle, a tall man, about
  50 years, has considerable money and a high forehead, long face and
  lantern jawed man, a bad man, with a fist like a giant, and has often
  beat me, and I want him to end his days in the Penitentiary where he
  belongs, and he wears a grey coat, with a very large mouth, and one
  blue eye, and one blind blue eye, and a hideous looking man, and now
  living with the 7th woman, and me having one child to him, and he has
  gone off, and I want him brought slap up in the law, with blue pants.
  He ought to be arrested and has a $100 of my money, and a bald headed
  rascal, full of flattery and receipt, and she is a bad woman, and her
  little girl calls him “papa” and is called Eliza Jane Tillis, and a
  boy blind of one eye, and he is not a man who has got any too much
  sense, nor her. And he stole $100 from me, and some of my gold and
  silver, and ought to be caught and I will never live with him again,
  no never, he is a disgrace. And I would like to have him caught up and
  compelled to maintain me and his child, as I am his lawful wedded
  wife, and have the certificate of marriage in my possession.

  NANCY TURTLE.

Coherency was evidently not Nancy’s forte, and if she entertained her
turtle-dove with much conversation as per sample, he was hardly to be
blamed for trying a little change. In 1853 a sad and suffering husband
sought consolation from the Muse, and published his lines in a
Connecticut paper. Though not strictly in accordance with the rules laid
down by authorities, they contain a good deal in a small space:--

    Julia, my wife, has grown quite rude;
    She has left me in a lonesome mood;
    She has left my board,
    She has took my bed,
    She has gave away my meat and bread,
    She has left me in spite of friends and church,
    She has carried with her all my shirts.
    Now ye who read this paper,
    Since she cut this reckless caper,
    I will not pay one single fraction
    For any debt of her contraction.

  LEVI ROCKWELL.

  _East Windsor, Conn. Aug. 4, 1853._

Another husband also flies to verse for consolation, and records both
his experiences and his determination in the following notice:--

    Whereas my pet, my pretty toy,
      My wife, my Lizzie J.,
    Has left my bed and my employ,
      With other men to stray.
    I, therefore, take this to forewarn
      You not to trust her with a straw,
    For I will never pay her corn,
      Unless compelled by law.

  HENRY KANUTE.

  BIG SUAMICO, Oct. 13, 1870.

Still another husband, after publishing some supposed grievances in the
public prints, is made to see the error of his ways, and eats the leek
in the following manner, and in a New York paper. Verse is here the
sign not of the disease but of the remedy:--

  WHEREAS I, Daniel Clay, through misrepresentation, was induced to post
  my wife, Rhoda, in the papers; now I beg leave to inform the public,
  that I have again taken her to wife, after settling all our domestic
  broils in an amicable manner; so that everything, as usual, goes on
  like clockwork.

    Divorc’d like scissars rent in twain,
      Each mourn’d the rivet out:
    Now whet and riveted again,
      They’ll make the old shears cut.

With a notification from a maligned as well as injured wife, this
selection will probably be considered complete:--

  NOTICE.

  WHEREAS my husband Chas. F. Sandford, has thought proper to post me,
  and accuse me of having left his bed and board without cause, etc., I
  wish to make it known that the said Charlie never had a bed, the bed
  and furniture belonging to me, given to me by my father; the room and
  board he pretended to furnish me were in Providence, where he left me
  alone, while he staid at the Valley with his “Ma.” He offered me $200
  to leave him and go home, telling at the same time that I could not
  stay at the place he had provided for me, and as I have never seen the
  named sum, I suppose he will let me have it if I can earn the amount.
  It was useless for Charlie to warn the public against trusting me on
  his account, as my father has paid my bills since my marriage, as
  before.

  Moral.--Girls, never marry a man not weaned from his “Ma,” and don’t
  marry the whole family.

  ELEANOR J. SANDFORD.

  North Providence, July 1, 1871.

From such advertisements as the foregoing to those which emanate from
persons desirous of becoming married is but a step; though, as has been
already shown, most of the applications which come under the head of
Matrimonial in the New York papers hardly justify the selection. Here is
one, of a fair and honourable type enough, but it is fifty years old,
being from the _New York Morning Herald_ of July 2, 1824. This probably
accounts for its really meaning marriage, and nothing else:--

  WANTED immediately a young LADY of the following description (as a
  wife) with about 2000 dollars as a patrimony: Sweet temper, spend
  little, be a good housewife and born in America; and as I am not more
  than 25 years of age I hope it will not be difficult to find a good
  wife.

  N.B.--I take my dwelling in South Second Street, No. 273. Any lady
  that answers the above description will please to leave her card.

This swain in his anxiety has forgotten to give either name or initials,
so we cannot take steps to see whether or not he succeeded in getting a
“rale Yankee gal.” The advertisements of the present day are mainly of
the character already quoted from the _Sunday Mercury_, in proof whereof
we take one cut at random from a paper published three thousand miles
away from that estimable journal, viz., the _San Francisco Chronicle_:--

  TWO FUN-LOVING YOUNG LADIES would like to correspond with an unlimited
  number of young gentlemen; object, fun. Address, Roxey Hastings and
  Gracie Baker, Virginia, Nevada.

  jy17 2t*

This is barefaced enough, in all conscience; but it is by no means out
of the way, and will stand as a fair example of the rest.

From the _Waverley Magazine_, Boston--which is not a magazine as we
understand the term, but a large broadsheet periodical--of four years
back, we extract a batch of communications, which for convenience might
be called matrimonial, but which have little to do with marriage:--

  CORRESPONDENCE.

  _Two Dollars Each Address For One Insertion._

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG MAN of good standing in society, of refinement and education,
  desires an unlimited number of young-lady correspondents.
  Respectability and education the only requisites. Object, agreeable
  amusement during these long winter evenings. All letters answered.
  Photographs exchanged if desired. Address GEORGE MEADE, box 125,
  Middleburg, Schoharie County, N.Y.

       *       *       *       *       *

  TWO young gentlemen would like to correspond with a number of young
  ladies, for improvement and amusement. Both are good-looking and in
  good circumstances. None but members of the National Matrimonial
  Association need reply. Address CASKER PLATT, box 2442, New-York City.

       *       *       *       *       *

  LADIES and gentlemen who wish correspondents will please send their
  photograph and ten cents for particulars and photograph of
  correspondent. Address “CENTRAL PERSONAL AGENCY,” Garrettsville, O.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG gentleman of good character and habits desires to correspond
  with some young lady, for amusement, mutual benefit, and perhaps
  matrimony. Address FRED S. LORING, box 1356, St. Paul, Minn.

       *       *       *       *       *

  A YOUNG gentleman wishes a lady correspondent. Object, cultivation of
  the heart and mind. Address, ARTHUR C. STANLEY, box 27, Letter Depot
  No. 54, East Twelfth Street, New-York City.

       *       *       *       *       *

  WILL “Mac,” of Cambridge, who has a lady’s privilege of changing her
  mind, please send her full address to J. S. W., now of Portland, Me.?

  J. S. W.

       *       *       *       *       *

  ATTENTION.--Ladies, when you have nothing else to do write to me.
  Address EDWARD BELL, box 27, Sheffield, Mass.

The same paper also contains the following. As it is published early in
the year, February 5, 1870, there must have been a rare rush of the
amorous to enlist themselves under its banners:--

  NATIONAL MATRIMONIAL ASSOCIATION.

  HAVE you joined the National Matrimonial Association? Every young lady
  and gentleman will learn of many privileges and advantages to be
  gained by joining the association. 13,400 members since Nov. 9.
  Monthly meeting of members in different sections of the Union
  alternating for convenience. Members, though strangers, can recognize
  each other by means of the grip and secret signs of the association.
  The circular of the association, giving all particulars, will be sent
  postpaid upon receipt of ten cents. A young lady and gentleman are
  wanted as agents in towns where none have been appointed. Members
  wishing any information at any time need not inclose stamp. Address
  “Box 686,” Hartford, Conn.

  Nos. 6, 8.

Falling back from matrimony and its substitutes into the regular
channel, we take a declaration which contains a theory doubtless often
promulgated nowadays at Bethlehem Hospital, Colney Hatch, and maybe
Earlswood. Perhaps, though, it will be considered worthy the attention
of philosophers, seeing that just now any new or startling view is sure
to command not only regard but remuneration:--

  Light developes light--_ad infinitum_.

  St. Louis (Missouri Territory) North America.

  April 10, A.D. 1818.

  TO ALL THE WORLD.--I declare the earth to be hollow, and habitable
  within; containing a number of concentric spheres, one within the
  other, and that their poles are open twelve or sixteen degrees. I
  pledge my life in support of this truth, and am ready to explore the
  concave, if the world will support and aid me in the undertaking.

  JOHN CLEVES SYMMES
  _of Ohio, late Captain of Infantry_.

  I ask one hundred brave companions, well equipped, to start for
  Siberia, in autumn, with reindeer and sledges, on the ice of the
  frozen sea. I engage we find a warm country and rich land, stocked
  with thrifty vegetables and animals, if not men, on reaching about
  sixty-nine miles northward of latitude 82°. We will return in the
  succeeding spring.--J. C. S.

Captain Symmes seems pretty positive about getting back, though how he
intended to get up again after getting down into one of the lower
spheres he doesn’t say. Perhaps a hundred brave companions, standing on
each other’s heads, might manage it, and if that was the idea, one of
our own learned societies might look into it. Good thick heads would of
course be necessary to bear the strain, and that may be, after all, the
reason why they are so plentiful. _Quien sabe?_ Far more within the ken
of ordinary mortals is the following, which comes from Connecticut, and
is well worthy of even that land of “notions:”--

  THE SUBSCRIBER

  BEING determined not to move from this State, requests all persons
  indebted to pay particular attention to his

  _New_ definition of an _Old_ Grammar, viz.

  _Present Tense._

  I am. Thou art. He is.

  I am[48]     } In want of money.
  Thou art[49] } Indebted to me.
  He is[50]    } Shortly to be authorized, for the want thereof to take
               } the body.

  Unless immediate payment is made, you must expect to take a lecture
  upon my _new plural_.

  The Subscriber offers for sale, at his Store, two rods south of the
  Fish-market, the following articles, viz.

  _Solid Arguments._

  Hot Oysters, Boiled Lobsters, Ham and Eggs, Butter and Cheese, &c.

  _Agitations._

  Cider, Vinegar, Salt, Pickles, etc.

  _Grievances._

  Pepper-Sauce, Mustard, Cayenne-Pepper.

  _Punishments._

  Rum, Brandy, Gin, Bitters, etc.

  _Superfluities._

  Snuff, Tobacco, Segars, Pomatum, etc.

  _Extraordinaries._

  Sea Serpent’s Bones, Wooden Shoes, Waterwitches, etc.

  N.B. The above articles will be exchanged for

  _Necessaries_, _viz._

  Bank-Bills at par, Crowns, Dollars, Half ditto, Quarter ditto,
  Pistareens, Nine penny pieces, Four-penny half-penny ditto, or Cents.

  _Terms of Payment:_

  One half the sum down, and the other half on the delivery of the
  articles.

  _Rudiments gratis_, _viz._

  Those indebted for    Arguments
  Must not be           Agitated;
  Nor think it a        Grievance
  If they should meet   Punishment
  For calling such      Superfluities;
  Nor think it          Extraordinary
  That I find it        Necessary
  To demand immediate   Payment.

  ANDREW SMITH.

  The smallest favour thankfully received.

  New London,
  March 1, 1819.

It seems a pity that such genius as that of “the subscriber” should have
been wasted upon trifles; but possibly in such a country as the United
States, where nothing is beyond a man’s reach if his head is only long
enough, he reaped the honours and rewards to which his talents entitled
him. So many famous people have been called Smith, in America as well as
here, that it would be vain to attempt a discovery of his subsequent
career. Maybe he went to New York, and composed the following
advertisement, which is just of three years’ later date, and seems
strange to those who know the Empire City in its present condition
only:--

  ANY person in want of a DEAD PIG may find one, that will probably
  answer his purpose, in the middle of Broadway, between Broome and
  Spring Streets. Applicants need not be in any great haste, as it is
  expected that he will lie there several days; and if the warm weather
  should last, and the carriages will let him alone, he will
  grow--_bigger and bigger_.

Getting nearer to modern times--1822 is very old for American
notions--we find a New Yorker who speaks his mind freely, and treats his
customers with moral illustration as well as business detail:--

  GEORGE OTT, 262, North Second Street, respectfully informs his
  customers and friends in general, that his bakehouse is in full
  operation, and that he is always prepared to supply them with
  loaf-bread, crackers, pilot-bread, fresh rusks, &c. &c.

Having disposed of his list of wares, our baker proceeds, and no one can
accuse him of mincing the matter:--

  On his part nothing shall be left undone to give complete satisfaction
  to his customers, and in return he expects them to _pay punctually_
  when their bills are presented. Experience having taught him, that a
  disorderly soldier in the ranks and a bad paymaster in a baker’s list
  of customers, are the most troublesome customers a man can have
  anything to do with, he requests those who do not calculate on paying
  promptly, to oblige him so far as to give their custom to a more
  accommodating baker.

  Being anxious to take a journey for the benefit of his health, which
  is much impaired, those indebted to him would oblige him very much by
  making immediate payment; and he requests those who may have claims
  against him to call and receive their money.

Payment of quite a different kind is treated of in the next
advertisement, which few boys, old or young, will read without feeling
interested. It is, though in such few words, a marvellous exhibition of
the _suaviter in modo_ and the _fortiter in re_ well mixed; and one can
well understand the writer to be an agreeable friend and jolly
companion, but a strict disciplinarian:--

  _Flushing Institute._

  DEAR BOYS--Trouble begins Septr. 15.

  E. A. FAIRCHILD.

It was said of one of our public schoolmasters that it was a pleasure to
be flogged by him. We will take advantage of the present opportunity to
remind those who have accepted it as a proverb, and believed it firmly,
that the originator of the remark, like the originators of many other
observations, never practically put his ideas to the test. Possibly on
the same principle it would be a pleasure to have one’s property sold
off by auction, provided the advertisement were drawn out like that of
the Yankee auctioneer from which we select this portion:--

  I can sell for eighteen hundred and thirty nine dollars, a palace, a
  sweet and pensive retirement, on the virgin banks of the Hudson,
  containing 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divided by the hand of
  nature and art, into pasture and tillage, into plain and declivity,
  into the stern abruptness and the dalliance of most tufted meadow.
  Streams of sparkling gladness (thick with trout) dance through this
  wilderness of beauty, to the music of the cricket and grasshopper. The
  evergreen sighs as the evening zephyr flits through its shadowy bosom,
  and the aspen trembles like the love-splitting heart of a damsel.
  Fruits of the tropics in golden beauty melt on the bows, and the bees
  go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The
  stables are worthy of the steeds of Nimrod or the studs of Achilles,
  and its henery was built expressly for the birds of paradise; while
  sombre in the distance, like the cave of a hermit, glimpses are caught
  of the dog house. Here poets have come and warbled their lays, here
  sculptors have cut, here painters have robbed the scene of dreamy
  landscapes, and here the philosopher discovered the stone which made
  him the alchymist of nature. As the young moon hangs like a cutting of
  silver from the blue breast of the sky, an angel may be seen each
  night dancing with golden tiptoes on the greensward. (N.B. This angel
  goes with the place.)

Even our great Robins in his best form never exceeded this in
picturesqueness of description. But our man could stay, and this one had
shot his bolt when he got to the finish of the foregoing paragraph. At
the commencement of the war against the “Seceshers,” a good many of the
Northern tradesmen made capital out of it, the following, in a _Tribune_
of February 1861, forming a case in point:--

  IMPORTANT FROM CHARLESTOWN!

  MAJOR ANDERSON TAKEN!

  ENTRANCE OBTAINED UNDER A FLAG OF TRUCE!

  NEW YORKERS IMPLICATED!

  GREAT EXCITEMENT! WHAT WILL THE SOUTHERN
  CONFEDERACY DO NEXT?

  ON the 8th instant, about twelve hours before midnight, under cover of
  a bright sun, Col. George S. Cooke, of the Charlestown Photographic
  _Light_ Artillery, with a strong force, made his way to Fort Sumter.
  On being discovered by the vigilant sentry, he ran up a flag of truce.
  The gate of the fortress being open, Col. Cooke immediately and
  heroically penetrated to the presence of Major Anderson, and levelling
  a double barrelled camera, demanded his unconditional surrender in the
  name of E. Anthony and the Photographic Community. Seeing that
  resistance would be in vain, the Major at once surrendered, and was
  borne in triumph to Charlestown, forwarded to New York, and is now on
  sale in the shape of Exquisite Card Photographs at 28 cents per copy,
  by E. Anthony, &c. &c.

“Old McCalla” is or was a character well known in Princetown, Indiana. A
few years back, when the following was published, he was nearly ninety
years of age, but was still capable of minding his own business:--

  WANTED.--Two or three boarders of a decent stripe, such as go to bed
  at nine o’clock without a pipe or cigar in their mouth. I wish them to
  rise in time to wash their faces and comb their heads before
  breakfast. When they put on their boots to draw down their pants over
  them, and not have them rumpled about their knees, which is a sure
  sign of a rowdy. When they sit down to rest or warm by the fire, not
  to put their feet on the mantlepiece or bureau, nor spit in the bread
  tray. And to pay their board weekly, monthly, or quarterly--as may be
  agreed upon--with a smile upon their faces, and they will find me as
  pleasant as an opposum up a persimmon tree.

  OLD MCCALLA.

Another boarding-house advertisement, which comes from Portland, Oregon,
is also characteristic. A correspondent informs us that the Mr Thompson
mentioned in it is a hard-working blacksmith, and he and his wife run
the concern on the temperance plan:--

  THOMPSON’S TWO-BIT HOUSE,
  _Front St., bet. Main and Madison_.

  NO DECEPTION THERE!

  HI-YOU MUCK-A-MUCK, AND HERE’S YOUR
  BILL OF FARE:

  THREE KINDS OF MEAT FOR DINNER; ALSO FOR Breakfast and Supper. Ham and
  Eggs every other day, and Fresh Fish, Hot Rolls, and Cake in
  abundance.

  Hurry up; and none of your sneering at CHEAP BOARDING-HOUSES. Now’s
  the time to have the wrinkles taken out of your bellies after the hard
  winter.

  Board and Lodging   $5 00
  Board               $4 00

  Six NEW rooms, furnished with beds--the BEST in town--at my Branch
  House, corner First and Jefferson.

  I am ready for the BONE and SINEW of the country.

“Hi-you Muck a-muck,” we are also told, is a phrase in the Chinook
language for plenty to eat. What the Chinook language is we must leave
our readers to discover for themselves. Is it “heathen Chinee” as
distinguished from the pure and unadulterated article? We pause for the
reply of an expert, and while pausing, think that the following may be
contemplated with some degree of interest, for families over here are
drifting to the same state of difficulty very fast. A good servant is a
jewel to be worn in one’s bosom even in London, and so it is nothing
wonderful that in Syracuse, U.S., five years back, this should have
appeared:--

  WANTED--A Good SERVANT GIRL to whom the highest wages will be paid.
  Having had great difficulty in procuring good help, on account of the
  misfortune of having seven small children, we will poison, drown, or
  otherwise make away with four of them on application of a first class
  servant girl. Apply at the office of this paper.

What a glorious subject this would have been for Leech or Doyle in the
palmy days of _Punch_, when wit and humour, and not high art and sober
earnest, were considered essentials for the illustration of a comic
paper, and when jokes were not regarded as ill-timed on the part of a
contributor! Historic painters are now the only humourists, and we do
hope one, either English or American, may see this, and avail himself of
it. The next is from an Iowa periodical, and will show our impartiality
to all states in the Union, no one having received an undue share of
attention--that is, beyond its merits. It will, besides, bring us up to
comparatively recent dates:--

  CAUTION.

  WHEREAS, one U. T. S. RICE, a small, insignificant-looking whelp, who
  wears spectacles, carries a large cane, has a limp in his walk, talks
  smooth, and lies like Satan, has been obtaining money and credit by
  representing himself as a partner in the firm of Smart and Parrott, or
  as agent for us: we hereby caution all persons that we are not
  responsible for any of his acts. He is in no way connected with us,
  but is a perfect dead beat in every sense of the word.

“Dead beat” is a comprehensive and transatlantic euphemism for the more
expressive thief, scoundrel, swindler, or sharper, any one of which, or
all four combined, if he so pleases, the “dead beat” may be; and the
subject of the Iowa notice seems a full-fledged and duly-qualified
representative of the class.

It is hardly necessary to state that in America quacks and quack
medicines abound. The papers are full of the advertisements of these men
and their nostrums, and it would be quite easy to fill a very large
volume with specimens. So much attention has already been given to the
charlatans of Europe that we must perforce content ourselves with a very
few specimens from the _répertoires_ of their American brethren; but the
chief difficulty is not what to select but what to omit. One of the
evils which medical impostors in the States pretend to cure is that of
drunkenness, and a notice in _Harper’s Weekly_, which seems to be the
chief organ of this kind of advertisers, runs as follows:--

  DRUNKARDS, Stop! G. C. Beers, M.D., 670, Washington Street, Boston,
  Mass., has a medicine that will cure intemperance. Recommended by
  Judge Russell. Can be given secretly. Send stamp for circular.

Another vendor of specifics gives in the _New York Sun_ this astonishing
statement and purely unselfish promise:--

  TRIED friends the best of friends. Since the suspension of H. C.
  Thorpe’s advertisements, the number of deaths by consumption is truly
  astonishing; advertisements will now appear for the benefit of the
  afflicted.

But this is nothing compared with the marvellous Riga Balsam, about the
incomparable virtues of which we have a long advertisement, which, after
all sorts of extraordinary statements, ends thus:--

  N.B. The trial of the Riga Balsam is this: Take a hew or a ram, drive
  a nail through its skull, brains and tongue, then pour some of it into
  the wound, it will directly stop the blood and cure the wound in eight
  or nine minutes, and the creature will eat as before.

  A stoop costs two dollars, and it is sold in smaller portions; at the
  sale every person gets a direction which describes its surprising
  virtues and how it is to be used. The glasses, jars and bottles, are
  sealed up with this seal (A. K. Balsam) to prevent counterfeits.

  _Ecclesiasticus_, chap. xxxiii. ver. 4. The Lord hath created
  medicines out of the earth, and he that is wise will not abhor them.

Which forcibly reminds us of an equally wonderful specific which was
known in Holland about a century ago, if we may believe the _Dutch
Mercurius_ for January 1772, which states that “on December the 30th,
1771, Mr Tunnestrik experimented in the presence of the Prince
Stadholder and sundry professors, by driving an iron spike into a
horse’s head, and afterwards pulling it out with a pair of pincers.
Hereupon he poured certain oils by him invented into the wound, by means
of which the horse within six minutes was whole again, and not even a
scar remained to be seen.” This horse, like the celebrated leg which was
cured of its fracture with tar-water and oakum, must have been made of
wood. With regard to the Riga Balsam, we might swallow that statement
with the assistance, say, of another wonderful American potion, the
Plantation Bitters, which, if we are to judge by the following, could
help anything down:--

  S. T.--1860.--X.

    TO be, or not to be, that is the question.
    Whether to suffer with mental anguish,
    Feverish lips, cracking pains, dyspeptic agonies,
    And nameless bodily suffering;
    Or whether, with sudden dash,
    Seize a bottle of PLANTATION BITTERS,
    And, as Gunther swears, be myself a man again.
    Gunther said my eyes were sallow,
    My visage haggard, my breath tremendous bad,
    My disposition troublesome--in fact,
    He gently hinted I was fast becoming
    Quite a nuisance.
    Four bottles now beneath my vest have disappeared:
    My food has relish, my appetite is keen,
    My step elastic, my mind brilliant, and
    Nine pounds avoirdupois is added to my weight.

The formula “S. T.--1860.--X.” appears at the top of every advertisement
of the bitters, and the first two portions doubtless refer to the name
of the inventor and the date of the invention, while _x_ may be the
unknown quantity which has to be taken before the promises held forth in
the advertisement are fulfilled. A good instance of the difference
between precept and practice is shown by the annexed, which comes well
from a firm in no way disdainful of the uses of advertising:--

  S. T.--1860.--X.

  SOME of our contemporaries seem to think that the triumph of their
  cause depended, like the fate of Jericho, upon the amount of noise
  made. In these days of refinement and luxury, an article of real
  intrinsic merit is soon appreciated, hence the unbounded and
  unparalleled success of

  PLANTATION BITTERS.

Like the two preceding, this is from _Harper’s Weekly_, the price for
advertisements in the inner pages of which is said to be 1 dollar 50
cents per line, about five times as much as any of our highest priced
papers, for the lines are by no means long for the money. The best
customer _Harper’s_ has, and at the price perhaps the best customer any
paper ever had, is Professor Leonidas Hamilton, who puffs himself in the
most extraordinary manner, being always well before his beloved public,
and now and again having _seven_ columns of closely printed matter in
_Harper’s_, at the exorbitant price just mentioned. This lengthy
advertisement is called “A Timely Warning, and the Reason Why,” and is
constructed upon truly Yankee principles. It commences:--

  HOW sublime, how beautiful the thought that the researches and
  developments of the Nineteenth Century have added fresh and glorious
  laurels to the great temple of fame and science! In every department
  and phase of progressive development the hand of the sage and
  philosopher is ever busy--ever ready to devise means for the
  amelioration of human woe and the prolongation of life.

  Think you his an enviable position--an existence without stern
  obstacles and perplexing cares? Nay, far from it; for he plucks the
  lovely rose in peril of the thorn; he climbs to eminence and renown,
  and every step he gains is planted on a prostrate foe. He digs the
  gold and tries it; another and a bolder hand must strike the blow that
  stamps its worth and gives it currency as genuine.

  It must be admitted by every rational mind that the man who
  contributes the most toward promoting the happiness and welfare of the
  human race, must of necessity be the most highly esteemed by his
  fellow-men; acting upon this principle, Prof. R. L. HAMILTON, of New
  York, has, by patient investigation, and vast experience, solved the
  uncertain question in relation to the vexed and important subject of
  Liver Complaints and other chronic diseases.

After a long preamble of this kind the Professor describes the “Symptoms
of Liver Complaints,” from which by an easy transition he comes to some
“Important Facts,” informing his “dear reader” that he “has remedies
that will strike at the root of them as by magic,” for “there is no such
word as fail in his treatment.” After that, a couple of columns are
devoted to enumerate the “Reasons why Dr Hamilton is successful.” One of
these is--“Because he has investigated every remedy known to science,
and, in addition, has new remedies, _of the fields and forests_ OF HIS
OWN DISCOVERY, and of the greatest possible efficacy and value.” He ends
this part with the awful words, “The truth must be told if the heavens
fall,” and a lot of testimonials are produced, each with a sensation
heading, and relating the most wonderful effects produced by the
Doctor’s medicines. Thus one has got “an old lung difficulty;” another
has “gained twenty pounds in three months,”--not money unfortunately,
but flesh. One of the most curious puffs arising out of these
testimonials is the following:--

  IS ALL THIS TRUE?

  Mr. Samuel L. Furlong, of Muskegan, Mich., in a letter dated April 6,
  1868, writes:

  “I have cut out SEVENTEEN of the testimonials that were in the _New
  York Tribune_, and sent them to the persons themselves, with letters
  of inquiry about them, and also about you, and every one stated that
  they were true, and recommending your remedies very highly; also
  giving a history of their cases, which was, indeed, very cheering to a
  poor man, with a sick wife and six small children to support.”

The inconsequence of the conclusion is quite refreshing. What benefit
this distressed family could have derived from the perusal of the
testimonials we will not presume to say. Thus by an easy climax of
sensational headings and cures, we arrive at three final articles,
respectively headed, “In his mercy he saves the afflicted!”--“Read, ye
afflicted”--and “Appreciate it fully.” Then follows the “Conclusion”
that it would be useless to cry “humbug,” for the above parties have
volunteered to give their evidence for the benefit of the suffering and
for no other purpose, and the whole ends with a friendly recommendation
to “have no hesitancy in writing to the Doctor, and state to him your
case in full, and he will deal honestly and promptly with you.”

Another very extensive dealer in advertisements, who also uses
_Harper’s_ columns considerably, is the proprietor of the Pain Paint.
His works are humorous and entertaining, the following being a fair
example:--

    MY WIFE HAD AN ULCER
    On her Leg
    Thirteen years,
    Caused by various veins
    Extending from her ancle to her knee.
    Some places eaten away
    To the bone.
    I have employed
    Over twenty eminent physicians
    At vast expense,
    But all attempts at cure
    Proved utterly abortive
    Until I used Wolcott’s Pain Paint,
    Which the Doctors told me
    Was humbug.
    But humbug or not
    It has done the work complete
    In less than one month,
    Removing the pain
    At first application.
    I kept her leg wet
    With PAIN PAINT constantly
    Till healed.
    I wish we had more humbugs as useful
    As Dr. Wolcott’s PAIN PAINT.
    I am well known in this city,
    And any person
    Can make further inquiry
    At 101 West Street, New York,
    At the Hanover House
    Of which I am proprietor.
    And I think I can satisfy
    All as to the benefit
    Derived by the use of PAIN PAINT.

  May 12, 1868.

  PETER MINCK.

There are many advertisements from Hamilton, Wolcott, and various other
“professors” still before us, but with the foregoing we will conclude,
and leave the curious to search the American journals for themselves.
Those who like to take the trouble will find in them an inexhaustible
mine of wealth. The reflection naturally arises in the minds of readers,
that the Americans cannot, after all, be such a wonderfully smart
nation, to allow an almost countless horde of quacks and impostors to
batten on them, and to make large fortunes even in the face of the
tremendous sums they have to pay for advertisements.

       *       *       *       *       *

Extensive as our Colonies are, and numerous and excellent as are the
newspapers published in them, the advertisements of the present day may
be said with justice to offer no distinctive features whatever. With
the exception of the names of streets and towns, the trade and other
notices are just the same as appear in the home journals; and even the
cries which now and again go up from the Australian papers for missing
relatives are paralleled by similar advertisements constantly appearing
in our own metropolis. We have, though, two or three quaint old
specimens which have been lighted upon at rare intervals, and more
because it would be unfair to pass over our extensive dependencies
without mention than for any other reason we offer them to the
consideration of the reader. The first is nearly eighty years old, and
is copied verbatim from a Jamaica paper of the period:--

  _Kingston, March 7, 1795._

  HALF-A-JOE REWARD.

  WALKED away, about a Month ago, a Negro Wench, named _Prudence_; she
  is of the Eboe Country, a yellow Complexion, round chubby Face, goggle
  or full Eyes, has lost several of her fore Teeth, is short, lively,
  and active, a great Thief, speaks quick and tolerable good English; is
  one of the black Parson Lisle’s Congregation; she is marked on both
  Shoulders and the left Cheek R. L.; had a Collar about her Neck, Chain
  and Lock, as a Punishment for her trying to entice a Man away the
  second Time; she is capable of very great Deception; she lards almost
  every Word with “plase God,” or some pious Expression, and will thieve
  at the same Time.

  It is likely she will endeavour to pass as free; she formerly belonged
  to Mary Roberts, and lately to Sarah Osborn; she has been twenty Years
  in the Town of Kingston, and about fourteen Months in the Country.
  When she left Kingston she secreted a Quantity of her Clothes with
  some of her Tribe; if gone there, she will be able to change her
  Dress. Is well acquainted in Spanish-town, and many other Parts of the
  Island; she possesses a great Share of the “holy Goggle,” that is,
  throwing up her Eyes, and calling upon everything that is sacred, even
  when stolen Goods have been found upon her. She lately ran away, and
  was taken up. Whoever apprehends her a second Time, and lodges her in
  any Workhouse or Gaol in this Island, shall be entitled to the above
  Reward, and all reasonable Charges, on Application to Linwood and
  Nicoll, Merchants, in Kingston; or the Subscriber, at Wakefield, in
  Cedar Valley, St. George’s.

  ROBERT LOOSELY.

  N.B. All Masters of Vessels are hereby cautioned against carrying her
  off; and all Persons found harbouring her, will be prosecuted with the
  utmost Rigour of the Law.

The next is of a considerably later time, being under date 1818, and
comes from a different quarter of the globe. It refers to a raffle for
women, and was published in a daily paper of Calcutta:--

  FEMALES RAFFLED FOR.--Be it known, that Six Fair Pretty Young LADIES,
  with two sweet and engaging CHILDREN, lately imported from Europe,
  having roses of health blooming on their cheeks, and joy sparkling in
  their eyes, possessing amiable tempers and highly accomplished, whom
  the most indifferent cannot behold without expressions of rapture, are
  to be raffled for, next door to the British Gallery. Scheme: Twelve
  Tickets, at 12 rupees each; the highest of the three throws,
  doubtless, takes the most fascinating, &c. &c.

Modern improvements have, after all, somewhat benefited the world. Who
would dream nowadays of such a scheme having been publicly advertised in
a British dominion less than sixty years since? And this was not by any
means the latest of such speculations either, yet it will be news to
many that, even at the date given, such transactions were openly
conducted. The next, also from Calcutta, is half-a-dozen years later,
and treats of quite another vanity of the owners of the soil:--

  NOTICE.--Mr W. M‘Cleish begs to state to his friends and the public
  that he has received by the most recent arrivals the Prettiest
  Waistcoat Pieces that were ever seen: really it would be worth any
  gentleman’s while even to look at them. It surpasses his weak
  understanding, how man who is born of a woman and full of trouble,
  could invent such pretty things.

  It strikes him forcibly that the patterns and texture must have been
  undoubtedly invented by some wise philosopher.

    Ladies, although my shop’s small, I pray you won’t fear,
    I turned out my pelisses, the first of the land sure may wear;
    If they are not well finished, or the best of trimmings--
    I will undertake to eat backs, breasts, sleeves, and linings.

  No. 39, Cossitollah, Jan. 4, 1824.

Australia offers us, by means of the _Sydney Gazette_ of August 1825, an
advertisement worth perusal:--

  MRS BROWN respectfully thanks the community of thieves for relieving
  her from the fatigues and wearisomeness of keeping a chandler’s shop,
  by taking the following goods off her hands; viz.--35 yards of
  shirting, 12 do. of muslin, 40 do. of calico, and various articles, as
  the auctioneer terms it, “too many to mention in an advertisement.”
  But the gentlemen in their despatch of business forgot that they had
  taken along with them an infant’s paraphernalia, two dozen of clouts,
  so elegantly termed by washerwomen. If the professors of felony do not
  give a dinner to their pals, and convert them into d’oyleys for finger
  glasses, Mrs Brown will thank them to return them, as they would not
  be so unmagnanimous and deficient of honour to keep such bagatelles
  from a poor mother and four children. This is to apprize the receivers
  of stolen property, that she will sooner or later have the pleasure of
  seeing their necks stretched, and that they will receive a tight
  cravat under the gallows by their beloved friend Jack Ketch. As the
  old saying is “The better the day the better the deed,” the fraternity
  performed their operations on Sunday night last.

  17, Philip Street.

Another from the same source, though of somewhat later date, refers to a
failing not at all peculiar to the ladies and gentlemen of Sydney, as
most owners and collectors of books have doubtless discovered ere now to
their cost:--

  IT is requested that those Ladies and Gentlemen who have, from time to
  time, borrowed books from Mr. S. Levy, will return them to the
  undersigned, who respectfully solicits all books now in possession of
  persons to whom they do not belong, to comply with the above--a fresh
  supply may be had. Among the number missing are the Pastor’s Fire
  Side, Tales of my Landlord, Kenilworth, Princess Charlotte, Secret
  Revenge, Smollett’s Works, Ivanhoe, Tales of the Times, Paradise
  Lost--so are the books until found by

  B. LEVY.

  No. 72, George Street, Sydney.

The solicitation to the books themselves “to comply with the above,” is
no doubt an Australian figure by which, in order to avoid an obnoxious
accusation against the borrowers, the books are supposed to be unwilling
to return to the rightful owners. Between forty and fifty years ago it
would have been very unpleasant in Australia to imply that any one had a
desire to take that which belonged to any one else with a view to its
permanent detention.

As we have said, the advertisements of more modern times call for no
particular mention, and the papers published in New South Wales and
Victoria--excellent journals, some of them capitally illustrated, and
all equal to anything at home--contain nothing in their columns of a
kind different from what has been already given under some one or other
of the various chapter heads of this volume. In Canada the contiguity of
the States is now and again apparent in the advertisements; but after
the full-flavoured samples of the latter, anything from the Dominion
would seem poor indeed.

  [47] It is only fair to Americans in general, to state that the
  proprietor of this the most American of all American papers is an
  Englishman. At least, we are informed so by men who remember him in
  London.

  [48] Andrew Smith.

  [49] Any one the coat fits.

  [50] Hezekiah Goddard, Sheriff’s Deputy.




CHAPTER XX.

_ADVERSARIA._


During the progress of this book towards completion, we have now and
again stumbled across something which would not consistently fit under
any of the chapter heads in our plan, nor stand well by itself, and
though at first rather puzzled what to do with these trifles, they have
in the end accumulated sufficiently to form a chapter of varieties which
will fitly conclude, and will doubtless prove neither dull nor
uninteresting. In advertising there seems to be always something new
springing up, and no sooner do we think we have discovered the last
ingenious expedient of the man anxious to display his wares, or to tempt
others to display theirs, than another and more novel plan for publicity
arrests the attention, and makes its predecessor seem old-fashioned, if
not obsolete. At the present moment the plan of an energetic Scotchman
is the very latest thing in advertisements. Whether it will be
considered a novelty six months hence, or whether it will be considered
at all, it would be hard indeed to say, so it will perhaps be enough for
us to give the plan to our readers, with the remark that after all the
idea is not unlike that of the old newsletters to which reference has
been made in an earlier portion of this work. The Scotchman’s notion is
to substitute advertisements for the intelligence contained in the
ancient letters, and thereby reap a rich reward. For sixpence he sells
twenty-four sheets of letter-paper, on the outside of each of which is
an embossed penny postage-stamp. He fills the two inside pages with
sixty advertisements, for which he charges one guinea each, leaving the
first page for private correspondence, and the last page, to which the
stamp is affixed, for the address. As the stamp will carry an ounce
weight, another sheet of plain paper may be enclosed. He guarantees to
the advertiser a circulation of five thousand copies. For the
advertisements he receives £63, from which he pays five thousand stamps
at one penny each--£20, 16s. 8d.--less received for copies sold
(twenty-four for sixpence), £5, 4s. 2d.; total, £15, 12s. 6d., leaving
the difference, £47, 7s. 6d., to cover the cost of paper and printing.
It will be remembered by many that the plan of giving advertisement
sheets away has been often tried--notably with metropolitan local
newspapers, some of which at first thought to clear the whole of their
expenses by means of the charge for notices, &c. It is remarkable,
however, that these journals invariably did one of two things. They
either got a price fixed on themselves, or died. It is hard to make
advertisers believe that it is worth while paying for a notice in a
paper which is itself not worth paying for, and no arguments as to
increased circulation seem to have any effect.

Parisian advertisements form an item worthy of attention here. Within
the past few years a great change has taken place in the system of
advertising as known in the capital of France--in fact, as known in all
the chief towns of the empire, kingdom, republic--whichever our readers
like best or consider the most correct word. Between twenty-five and
thirty years ago advertisements were charged at very high rates in the
Paris papers, and there were comparatively few of them. The proprietors
of journals did not themselves deal with the advertisers, but farmed out
their columns at so much a year to advertising establishments or
agencies. This was both convenient for the papers and profitable for the
agencies. The rates they fixed for advertising in some of the most
prominent journals were--_Presse_, one franc per line for each
insertion; _Siècle_, one franc fifty centimes per line each insertion
for four times, for ten times and upwards one franc per line, special
notices three francs per line, editorial items five francs per line;
_Nation_ and _Débats_, four lines seventy-five centimes per line,
advertisements above 150 lines fifty centimes per line, special notices
two francs per line, editorial items three francs; _Galignani’s
Messenger_, seventy-five centimes a line each time, one advertisement
above 300 lines fifty centimes a line, editorial items three francs.
Other papers were lower, some taking advertisements for from twenty-five
to forty centimes, and charging from one franc to two francs a line for
editorial items; but their circulation was very limited. What are called
broadside advertisements were very frequent in Paris papers; they were
very ugly affairs to the eye of an Englishman; set up in sprawling
capitals, like a handbill, a single advertisement frequently covering
half or the whole of a page of a newspaper. This style of advertisement
obtains now, but under different principles. The _Presse_ and the
_Siècle_ used to make more money than any of the other papers by means
of advertisements; in the year 1847 the income of the _Presse_ for its
two advertising pages was 300,000 francs. The advertising of the
_Débats_ and _Constitutionnel_ was also profitable.

Things have very considerably changed since then, and Parisian
advertising may fairly be said to have become developed into a
flourishing, though at the same time a very unique, system. The remark,
“Show me the advertisements of a country, and I will tell you the
character of its inhabitants,” is not yet current among the choice
sayings of great men, yet it or something similar might well be said
with regard to modern Parisian notifications. Perhaps in no country so
much as in France are public announcements and advertisements so
thoroughly characteristic of a people. An important law recently
introduced compels all announcements fixed or displayed in public places
to bear each a ten-centime stamp, and the Government reserves to itself
the right of alone using a perfectly white _affiche_. All posters,
playbills, and placards unconnected with State matters must be printed
on coloured paper, though a small portion may remain white. The
Parisians are proverbially neat in everything but their personal habits;
and ugly, gaunt, straggling hoardings like those of London are quite
unknown to them. The principal vacant places in front of building ground
are usually purchased by one of the principal Sociétés de Publicité. A
large frame of wood and canvas is affixed to the hoarding and divided
into a number of squares, which are painted a neutral tint. Then in all
these squares different announcements are made in gay colours. When
completed, the structure resembles the boards of advertisements placed
in railway carriages and omnibuses, the scale of course being
considerably larger. A well-executed painting of some country seat or
park to let frequently figures in these spaces; and few stations are
without some well-known and familiar advertisement, the French having
like ourselves some firms which make it their business to be on every
hoarding and in every paper. A large tailoring and drapery establishment
which advertises as follows is perhaps the best known of any:--

  MAISON DE LA RUE DE
  PONT NEUF

  HABILLEMENTS PR HOMMES ET ENFANTS

  ON REND L’ARGENT DE TOUT ACHAT QUI À
  CESSE DE PLAIRE

  =LA MAISON N’EST PAS AU COIN
  DU QUAI=.

This advertisement is so well known that recently a _revue_ bearing the
title “La Maison n’est pas au Coin du Quai” was played at a well-known
theatre, and in the recent version of “Orphée aux Enfers” at the Gaîté,
the “on rend l’argent” portion is made the peg for a joke by the Monarch
of Hell. The following also persistently arrest the attention of the
traveller: “Au Bon Diable,” “Eau Melisse des Carmes,” “Chocolat Ibled,”
and “Old England British Tailors.” The “Piano Quatuor” is also
everywhere typified by the picture of a gentleman with hideous long
fingers and pointed nails stretching over the strings of four violins.

The theatres usually display their programmes on large columns specially
constructed for the purpose, which are fixed about every two hundred
yards along the principal Boulevards. As these bills are renewed nearly
every day, this department alone must be very remunerative to the
Government. No playbills are sold in the theatres, but many of the daily
journals publish the programmes of all; and three papers, the
_Vert-Vert_, the _Orchestra_, and the _Entr’acte_, are specially printed
to serve as bills of the play. One peculiar circumstance connected with
theatrical advertisements is worthy of notice. In each of those places
of public convenience known to Parisians as “Les Colonnes Rambuteau,”
some mysterious individual has for years pasted a little piece of paper
announcing the drama at the Ambigu Comique and the principal performers
therein. Here is an exact copy of the one appearing during the month of
June of the present year (1874):--

[Illustration:

  _Mm Vannoy Mont-bars et M^{d.} Ribeaucourt
  L’Amant de la Lune
  drame en 7 tableaux de
  Paul de Kock.
  L’Ambigu Comique tous les soirs_

]

For years some unknown person has thus maybe gratuitously advertised the
house in question, and his identity is one of the mysteries of Paris.
Two well-known Parisian journalists, piqued by the eccentricity of the
advertisement, lay in wait one whole night and day for the purpose of
discovering its author, but their effort was fruitless. While on the
subject of these _colonnes_, we may note the fact that their exteriors
are covered with advertisements, the most conspicuous among them being
the bill of fare of the “Dîner de Rocher,” a three-franc ordinary on the
Boulevard Montmartre. The interior announcements are not of a nature for
publication, and in that respect resemble kindred establishments this
side the Channel. Next in importance to the hoardings and “spectacle”
columns are the kiosques, in which the newspaper trade of Paris is
chiefly carried on. The front is open, with the paper stall before it;
but the remaining sides are of coloured glass, and each square contains
an advertisement painted or stained upon it, generally in large letters.
At night the light in the interior gives the kiosque a very gay and
festive appearance. There are various minor methods of attracting public
attention practised by the Parisian traders. The managers of the Louvre
and Pygmalion, establishments similar to our Shoolbred’s and Meeking’s,
give to each of their customers an air balloon with the name of the
establishment from which it is issued painted upon it. Thousands of
these are constantly bobbing about along the principal thoroughfares.
The tickets given to seat occupiers in the public gardens and parks are
beautifully illuminated cards covered with trade announcements. Some of
the restaurants give each of their lady-customers a fan in summer, which
is prettily ornamented with advertisements. At Duval’s famous eating
establishments the backs of the bills of fare are sold for a large sum
to advertising contractors. It is calculated that this firm issues
30,000 _cartes_ a day. Space will not allow us to enumerate the further
thousand-and-one plans--some sensible, some silly--which the Parisians
adopt for attracting public attention; we therefore pass on to the last
and most important medium for advertisements--the Parisian newspapers.
In French journals, as in some English, the _réclame_, or editorial
puff, is eagerly sought after; and for unblushing effrontery in selling
their pens to pushing tradesmen, we must yield the palm to our brother
scribes across the water. “They order this matter better in France.”
Only a short time since M. de Villemessant, the editor of _Le Figaro_,
gave a delightful specimen of the art in his own columns. He commenced
by relating the history of the Duke of Hamilton and the sheep’s wool
left on the brambles. Then came a long description of the homes of the
Highland shepherds, and their spinning wives. The English word
“homespun” being thus introduced, the article wound up by advising _les
gentlemen français_ to rush to a certain shop in Paris where homespun
was sold, and be measured for suits. A few days after the article had
been published, its author was sauntering along the Boulevards clad in a
homespun suit of the latest cut and pattern.

We present a choice specimen of the _réclame_ cut from the pages of the
Parisian _gommeux’s_ favourite journal:--

  _Le Figaro_ n’oublie pas que son aïeul était coiffeur, aussi ne
  dédaigne-t-il pas de parler des chevaliers du démêloir, surtout
  lorsque ceux-ci se recommandent à l’attention du public par des
  qualités hors ligne.

  Nos lecteurs du quartier de l’Arc-de-Triomphe, y compris les Ternes,
  l’avenue de l’Impératrice, Neuilly, etc., ne se doutent pas qu’ils
  possèdent dans leur voisinage, 47, avenue de la Grande-Armée, un
  expert en fait de coiffures de femmes et d’hommes... Il se nomme
  Rivals et n’en connait pas (pardon!) pour la dexterité du peigne et la
  légèreté du rasoir.

Here is another of these exquisite specimens of artistry in puffing. It
is from _La Vie Parisienne_ of a short time back:--

  --Les voyageurs pour la ligne d’Italie montent en voiture.

  --Une minute, sac à papier! je n’ai pas pris mon café.

  --Un qui se croit encore au temps des diligence: le chemin de fer
  n’attend pas.

  --N’est-ce que cela, cher? monte dans mon compartiment, et tu n’auras
  pas à regretter la chicorée du buffet.

  Le sifflet fait entendre son son strident. Nous voici partis! Nous
  avons tiré de son sac de voyage un flacon d’_Essence de café Trablit_.
  Il me fait un mazagran que je sirote avec autant de délices que si
  Tortoni l’eût préparé.

  En crème, a l’eau, au lait, en grog, l’_Essence de café Trablit_ est
  chose exquise. Recommandée aux voyageuses, dans leur intérêt. 1 fr. 60
  le flacon (67, rue Jean-Jacques-Rousseau).

Besides writing up the goods of energetic and aspiring tradesmen, the
French journalist is frequently employed by a third or fourth rate
actress to write her into notoriety. To do this he carefully avoids any
mention of her histrionic abilities; but whenever he gets an
opportunity, he describes her dresses, her equipage, her _petits
soupers_, and occasionally places in her mouth some clever repartee or
daring joke. Once in vogue, a lady of this kind has obtained the object
of her ambition, and many a queen of the _demi-monde_ owes her success
in the realms of guilty splendour to the constant puffing of some
hireling scribe. Hireling though he be, the scribe is also an artist,
and his work bears an immeasurably favourable comparison with that of
his clumsy English rival; for he has rivals in England, and _réclames_
are finding their way rapidly into the most pretentious of our papers.
Hitherto they have succeeded in deceiving none so much as their waiters
and those who pay for them; but there is yet hope. Occasionally the
French _réclame_ mania is worked up into a good joke, as in the
following:--

  Une maison de blanc portant pour enseigne: _Au bon petit Jésus_, avait
  pour caissier un affreux gredin qui disparaît un jour avec la
  grenouille tout entière.

  Tous les journaux sont pleins du vol commis au _Bon petit Jésus_.

  Le patron court affolé et met la main sur son employé au moment où
  celui-ci prenait tardivement le chemin de fer. Il lui saute au collet:

  --Miserable! tu m’as ruiné!

  L’autre répond, sans s’émouvoir:

  --Oui, monsieur... mais quelle réclame pour la maison!

Sometimes the advertisement is given in an indirect manner: thus the
public read the following in the day’s paper:--

  Un détail amusant.

  Sur le rideau d’annonces des Bouffes on peut lire ce qui suit:

  _Mesdames, souvenez-vous que les vieilles robes et les ameublements
  fanés teints par la maison X... sont plus beaux que neufs!_

  Comme c’est bien en situation!

The next time the reader goes to the theatre the advertisement alluded
to catches his eye, and the address is fixed in his memory.

The _réclame_ is at present an important feature of French journalism.
It generally pays all parties concerned in its manufacture, and its
existence is therefore likely to continue for long. The reader has only
to pick up _Le Gaulois_, _Le Figaro_, or any of the Parisian lighter
papers, and he will be enabled to see for himself to what an extent
commerce has infected the Gallic press.

Turning from the _réclames_ to the advertisements proper, we find there
are five distinct specimens of the latter, so far as style is concerned.
Each one of these has its modifications, but the following samples will
be found very near the mark. The first will serve a double purpose, as
it seems to point out that despite the ridicule cast on English costumes
by Parisian satirists, there are not a few who wear them, though they
have every opportunity of appearing in the Frenchest of French
fashions:--

  =PANTALONS ANGLAIS=
  =FAITS SUR MESURE: 19 fr 50=

  =OLD ENGLAND=
  _35, boulevard des Capucines_.

The second specimen is intended for the ladies, who may believe what
they like of the statement made about its salutary action, and its
adding to the natural beauty:--

  =La Veloutine=

  _est une poudre de Riz spéciale
  préparée au bismuth,
  par conséquent
  d’une action salutaire sur la peau.
  Elle est adhérente et invisible,
  aussi donne-t-elle au teint
  une fraîcheur et une beauté naturelles.
  Ch. FAY, inventeur, 9, rue de la Paix._

Our third refers to something which has been fashionable as long as
there has been such a thing as fashion, and which is likely to continue
till _la mode_ itself has an end:--

  =MARIAGES=

  DEMANDEZ LE
  =TRAIT D’UNION=

  RÉPERTOIRE COMPLET ET DISCRET DES
  DEMANDES ET PROPOSITIONS
  DE TOUS PAYS, ADRESSÉES A
  M. et à M^{me} ROULARD, 72, rue de Rivoli.

  =DOTS DEPUIS 10,000 FR.
  Jusqu’aux plus grandes fortunes.=

  (Timbres pour réponse.)

Our fourth selection refers to a stomachic which is rather fashionable
just now:--

  _Saint Raphaël_, _vin fortifiant_, _digestif_, Tonique reconstituant,
  goût excellent, plus efficace, pour les personnes affaiblies, que les
  ferrugineux, que les quinas. Prescrit dans les fatigues d’estomac, la
  chlorose, l’anémie, les convalescences. Dose: un demi-verre à bordeaux
  après les repas.--Principales pharmacies 3 fr. la bouteille.

And our fifth is the following:--

[Illustration:

  AVIS AUX DAMES

  A LA =MAGICIENNE= 129, RUE MONTMARTRE.

  La plus grande spécialité pour Dames. 20,000 =Confections= à choisir.

  2,000 =Collets cachemire=, ornés soie et guipure, à            12^{F.}

  1,500 =Jacquettes cachemire=, ornées faye et guipure, à        15^{F.}

  800 =Tuniques cachemire=, ornées guipure, valant 50 fr., à     25^{F.}

  1,000 =Fichus= Marie-Antoinette, ornés passementerie et
  guip^{re}                                                      29^{F.}

  500 =Dolmans= cachemire, tout brodés, garnis guipure, à        45^{F.}

  2,500 =Dolmans= fantaisie, brodés toutes nuances, à            17^{F.}

  1,000 =Robes= fantaisie, modèles nouveaux, à                   39^{F.}

  Tous les =Costumes= et =Confections= sur mesure au même prix.

  _Les Magasins sont ouverts les Dimanches et jours de Fêtes._

  A LA =MAGICIENNE= 129, RUE MONTMARTRE.

]

An ingenious method of obtaining notoriety, and one which has paid
pretty well recently over some theatrical matters in this country, is to
fall foul of the official censor. The announcement that “la Censure a
interdit ‘Palotte’ dans les gares” has caused “Palotte,” a rather dirty
novel, to be an immense success. Why it should be forbidden in the
railway stations, and allowed everywhere else, we are not sufficiently
behind the scenes to say.

We have now glanced hastily at the leading aspects of French
advertising, and after remarking that _Galignani_ and the _Gazette des
Etrangers_ are the great mediums for English and American advertisements
in Paris, that a certain American manager who has a theatre in London
advertises it and his angular histrionic wonder regularly in the former,
and that the principal advertising contractors of Paris have made vast
fortunes, we get fairly back to our original remark, that the whole
system of advertising in Paris is characteristic of the Parisians--a
strange mixture of neatness, effect, frivolity, and childishness. Who
shall deny that these four words suit the character of the great mass of
the people? The fact that the authorities reserve to themselves the
white _affiche_ is characteristic to a degree of French Governments, and
the savage attack which the French journals made upon the letters of
apartments, because their poor little notices “Chambre à louer” were
exempted from the ten-centimes tax, was a fair specimen of the frivolous
and vexatious spirit which animates the children of _la Grande Nation_.
For their neatness they are proverbial; and any one walking through the
streets of Paris cannot fail to notice the admirable order in which the
various stations are kept. No rain-soaked bills peeling off, no
mud-plashed announcements of pieces which have been withdrawn for
weeks--all is neat and fresh, and corrected to date. The gay colours of
the posters, the many-tinted sides of the _kiosques_, the illuminated
“spectacle” columns, the gilt-lettered balconies, the quaint gas
devices, and the thousand-and-one pretty and ingenious ideas which are
pressed into the service of the modern goddess Publicity, are all items
in one lovely and harmonious whole, the most beautiful and the
best-arranged city of modern times, Paris. We can teach France many
things, probably she can teach us one certainly--which is, that art,
even genius, may be successfully applied to such a very small pursuit as
that of advertising.

The consideration of _réclames_, which are now regarded as so
essentially French, has reminded us, not alone that they were
fashionable, though under a humbler name, in this country many, many
years ago, as we have already shown, but that they are again coming into
fashion. But the “puff-pars” of old England--which may fairly be
represented by those which emanated from the establishment of Rowland,
the Kalydor man, in his palmy days of advertising--were always clumsy
when compared with those _réclames_ we have been studying, it being
impossible, apparently, to make a British advertiser understand that an
advertisement is more valuable in proportion as it looks less like what
it really is. The cloven foot always shows forth under the wrapper of
fine words; and when we say this, we do not refer to the paragraphs
written in odonto or ointment establishments by young men at a pound a
week, who are bound to put so many hard words in a line, and keep their
productions within the compass of so many lines, whether syntax is
agreeable or not; but to the friendly and more able notices which now
and again find their way into some daily and weekly papers. The
_réclame_, in its best form, is a highly-cultivated flower--an exotic,
in fact--and is at present a little over the heads of the advertising
public, who like to see plenty for money.

One paragraph which approaches much nearer the true _réclame_ than most
attempts, we stumbled across the other day. It is an attempt to convey
to a wondering world how Perry Davis’s Pain Killer came to be used both
internally and externally. By it we find that much internal discomfiture
had been destroyed by the specific, when one day, in conducting some
scientific exploration, its patentee became sadly burned. In his agony
he threw the contents of the nearest bottle--which happened to contain
Pain Killer--over the injured parts, and as much to his surprise as
satisfaction, he became in a short time perfectly cured. Of a rather
more ambitious kind is an attempt made by Messrs Piesse and Lubin in the
same direction. It is quite unique, and deserves a place here. At all
events we came upon it in a fashionable morning paper, and read some
little way before noticing that we were deep in an advertisement:--

  On Tuesday evening Countess Wallflower resumed her usual assemblies
  after the recess, at her residence in the Laboratory of Flowers. Among
  the members of the diplomatic corps present were the Ambassadors from
  the principal Gardens of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, Muskrosa
  Bey, from the Hanging Garden of Persia, Mdlles. Muskrosabud, Otto
  Rose, Ambassador from the Balkan and Adrionople Flower Farms, the
  Countess Hoya Bella, Madame Mignionette, Magnolia Fulgans, the Florida
  Ambassador, the Countess Flagrant Orchids, the Italian Minister, the
  Countess Bergamotte, Mdlle. Neroli the Mexican Minister and the
  Marchioness de Vanille, the Brazilian Minister and the Odorous
  Opoponax. The general circle comprised, among others, the Princesses
  Jessamine, Violet, Tuberose, the Viscount Stephanotis, and the
  Marchioness of May Blossom. Previous to the assembly the Countess and
  the Right Hon. Sir Scented Stock received at dinner the Duke of
  Frangipanni and a select party. The company separated by midnight, and
  rose in the morning more fragrant than ever.

It may be as well to mention here that Messrs Piesse and Lubin claim to
be the originators of the enigmatical form of advertising. It was they
who started the “Opoponax” mystery, which aroused public curiosity at
the time, and has been considerably imitated since. Localities are
sometimes used in advertisements as typifying the quality of the
articles advertised; Mayfair Sherry is the chief representative of this
class, and we suppose that the district is named as evidence of high
tone and elegant bottling. Still another kind of advertising is that
adopted by Brinsmead, who seems to be a regular champion among
pianoforte-makers, and who makes curious little extracts bracketed
opposite the names of papers and celebrities that give him
testimonials, throughout a long newspaper column, all about his patent
check repeater-action gold medal pianofortes. Sir Julius Benedict, the
_Examiner_, Brinley Richards, the _Standard_, and Sydney Smith are among
many other men and papers quoted. We are not aware who Sydney Smith may
be nowadays, but should hardly think the great wit and essayist who died
thirty years ago could have known enough about Brinsmead’s pianos to
enable him to say “their touch is absolute perfection.”

Notwithstanding all that has been written and said about the value of
newspaper notices as distinguished from advertisements, there is no
reasonable room for doubt that a representative of the general
advertising class would far sooner see his shop paraded in a pantomime,
or hear himself referred to by a low comedian, than be recipient of
really valuable attention at the hands of a newspaper writer. There are,
of course, exceptions, and these reap the reward their rivals despise.
The elder Mathews was a victim to the rather illogical rage for that
phase of theatrical advertisement to which we have just referred.
Amongst the extraordinary effects of his popularity, were applications
made under every kind of pretext, letters being sent to him from all
sorts of professors and tradesmen about town. One man offered him snuff
for himself and friends for ever, if he would only mention the name and
shop of the manufacturer. Another promised him a perpetual polish for
his boots upon the same terms. He was solicited to mention every sort of
exhibition, and to puff all the new quack medicines. The wines sent to
him to taste, though alleged to be of the finest quality, nevertheless
required “a bush,” which was to be hung out nightly at his “house of
entertainment.” Patent filters, wigs and waistcoats, boots and
boothooks, “ventilating hats” and “bosom friends,” all gifts, used to
stock Mathews’s lumber-room. An advertising dentist one day presented
himself, offering to find Mathews’s whole family in new teeth, and draw
all the old, if the comedian would only in return draw the new patent
mineral masticators into notice. In fact, Mathews was so inundated with
presents, that his cottage sometimes looked like a bazaar, and his wife
had frequently occasion to exercise her ingenuity in contriving how to
dispose of the generally useless articles forced upon their acceptance.

Though this was a great many years ago, things remain much the same, and
such popular entertainers as Fred Maccabe, and patterers as J. L. Toole,
could doubtless sell themselves for large sums in the interests of vocal
advertising. Managers invariably avail themselves of the opportunity
whenever a chance occurs, as it does now and again in realistic drama,
and very frequently in pantomime. Actors are, though, not alone the
admiration of the advertiser--they are by no means above making a shrewd
bid for popularity themselves by means of the papers. It is not so very
long ago that a tragedian, more distinguished in the provinces than in
London, and anxious to meet that metropolitan recognition which he felt
sure he deserved, gave a small _récherché_ banquet to his early friends
at a well-known house near Lincoln’s-Inn Fields. Those who were invited
must have felt very much like Mr Twemlow used whenever he visited the
Veneerings, and those who were in a condition to think when they came
away must have felt puzzled to account for the fact that all Mr ----’s
early friends had taken to the dramatic-critic, the leader-writer, or
the editor line of business--all but one, a kind of literary tradesman,
who, however, possibly paid his half for the privilege of being admitted
into such splendid society on equal terms, and who had, moreover, made
out the list of diners, written the invitations, and maybe provided some
of the clean linen. We tell the story as it was told us by two of the
invited early friends, who added, that until the night of the dinner
they had never seen Mr ---- off the stage.

Taking a long stride from London to a Chinese seaport, we come upon
this choice sample of Flowery Land English:--

[Illustration:

  ‮祥泰隆記‬

  Chong thie Loong kee.

  Most humbly beg leave to acqu
  : aint the Gentlemen trading to
  this kort that the above mention
  : ed chop has been long established
  dnd is much esteemed for its Black
  and young Hyson Tea but fearing
  the foreigners might be cheated by tho
  : se shumeless persons who forged this
  chop he therefore take the liberty to
  pallish these few lines for its
  remark and trust.

]

To those who are interested in a peculiarity of advertising unknown in
this country, we present the following from the _Berlinische Zeitung_:--

  ^~Verlobungen~.^

  ^Als Verlobte empfehlen sich^

  ^~Minna Bock~,^

  ^~Fritz Engelhardt~.^

  ^Berlin, den 13. März 1872.^

Which informs us, under the head of Betrothal, that Minna Bock and Fritz
Engelhardt beg to announce their betrothal, with compliments. The date
is plain. Another announcement in the same paper, and under the same
head, is this:--

  ^Die Verlobung unserer ältesten Tochter ~Margarethe~ mit dem
  kaiserlichen Post-Inspektor Herrn Richard ~Raab~ in Magdeburg beehren
  wir uns ergebenst anzuzeigen.^

  ^Stendal, im März 1872.^

  Dr. ^~Goldscheider~ nebst Frau.^

  ^Margarethe ~Goldscheider~,
  Richard ~Raab~,
  Verlobte.^

  ^Stendal und Magdeburg.^

Which means that Dr Goldscheider and his wife do themselves the honour
of most humbly announcing the betrothal of their eldest daughter,
Margaret, to Herr Richard Raab, of Magdeburg, Inspector of the Imperial
Post. Then follow the signatures of bride and groom, and the whole winds
up with the happy conjunction of the two towns, Stendal and Magdeburg.

From the _Journal do Commercio_ of Rio de Janeiro, April 4, 1872, we
take the following:--

  [Illustration]

  Fugio da rua da Alfandega n. 297 o preto Mariano, crioulo, estatura
  regular, rosto compride, pouca barba, com falta de dentes na frente,
  tem uma fistula debaixo do queixo, costuma trocar o nome,
  des-confia-se que fosse para os lados de Nitherohy e tem signaes de
  ser surrado nas costas; quem o apprehender e levar á rua e numero
  acima ser á gratificado, e protesta-se contra quem o tiver acoutado.

Credulous persons, who believe that with the cessation of the war
between the Northern and Southern States of America slavery went right
out of existence, except amongst the most barbarous nations, may be
astonished to discover that the foregoing, when turned into English,
reads thus:--“Ran away from 297 Alfandega Street, the negro Mariano, a
half-caste of ordinary stature, long visage, slight beard, has lost some
front teeth, and has an ulcer in the lower jaw. He is accustomed to
change his name, and is believed to be in the outskirts of Nitherohy. He
has marks of flogging on his back. Whoever captures him, and brings him
to the above address, will be rewarded, and persons are hereby cautioned
against harbouring him.”

From the same paper we extract another announcement:--

  Antonio Luiz Fernandes da Cunha e sua mulher D. Manoela Pereira
  Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha e sua mulher D. Balbina
  Alves Pereira da Cunha, convidão ás pessoas de sua amizade para
  acompanhar o enterro de seu querido filho e neto o innocente Carlos,
  que ha de sepultarse hoje, ás 10½ horas da manhã, no cemiterio de S.
  João Baptista, sahindo o corpo da rua da Bella-Vista n. 3, no Rio
  Comprido.

Which means that Antonio Luiz Fernandez da Cunha and his wife, Donna
Manoela Pereira Fernandes da Cunha, Leopoldino José da Cunha and his
wife, Donna Balbina Alves Pereira da Cunha, invite their friends to
accompany the funeral of their lamented son and grandson, the innocent
Carlos, who will be buried to-day at half-past ten in the morning, in
the Cemetery of St John the Baptist. The place of rendezvous concludes
the melancholy announcement.

Funeral advertisements seem very popular in Rio, the following being
extracted from among a large number of similar announcements in the
_Journal do Commercio_:--

  [Illustration]

  D. Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição e Procopio de Jesus cordialmente
  agradecem ás pessoas que fizerão o caridoso obsequio de acompanhar os
  restos mortaes de seu muito prezado esposo e compadre Olegario da
  Silva; e de novo rogão ás mesmas pessoas e aos amigos do mesmo finado
  para assistir à missa de sentimo dia, que se ha de celebrar, amanhã 5
  do corrente, na matriz de Sant’Anna, ás 8 horas; pelo que desde já se
  confessão summamente gratos.

This is from Donna Joanna da Silva Maia da Conceição and Procopio de
Jesus, who cordially thank those friends that performed the charitable
office of following to the grave the mortal remains of their very dear
husband and godfather, Olegario da Silva. Those and others are again
requested to attend the seventh-day mass, which is to be performed on
the morrow, in the mother church of St Anna, at eight o’clock, for which
attendance the advertisers will be very thankful. There are so many of
these notices, all of which are evidently looked forward to with
interest, that the reader cannot help thinking a particularly healthy
season in Rio would be regarded as quite a public misfortune.


FINIS.


  PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY

  EDINBURGH AND LONDON




_BOOKS PUBLISHED BY CHATTO & WINDUS._


  [_Post-Office Orders payable_
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  [NOVEMBER, 1874.

[Illustration]

  ^A List of Books^

  PUBLISHED BY
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  _74 & 75, PICCADILLY, LONDON, W._

[Illustration]


  SUMPTUOUS GIFT-BOOK.

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  MISS BRADDON’S NEW NOVEL.

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  =Byron’s (Lord) Letters and Journals=, with Notices of his Life. By
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  Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, 7_s._ 6_d._

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  man who can no longer vindicate himself. Mr. Moore never thrusts
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  temptations to egotism, he has said no more about himself than the
  subject absolutely required. A great part, indeed the greater part, of
  these volumes consists of extracts from the Letters and Journals of
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  of his friend, with so little pain to the feelings of the
  living.”--LORD MACAULAY, in the _Edinburgh Review_.


  =Carols of Cockayne=; Vers de Société descriptive of London Life. By
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  [_Shortly._


  =Christmas Carols and Ballads.= Selected and Edited by JOSHUA
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  =Cruikshank’s Comic Almanack.= Complete in TWO SERIES: the FIRST from
  1835 to 1843; the SECOND from 1844 to 1853. A Gathering of the BEST
  HUMOUR of THACKERAY, HOOD, MAYHEW, ALBERT SMITH, A’BECKETT, ROBERT
  BROUGH, &c. With 2,000 Woodcuts and Steel Engravings by CRUIKSHANK,
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  15_s._; or, separately, 7_s._ 6_d._ per volume.

  ⁂ _The “Comic Almanacks” of George Cruikshank have long been regarded
  by admirers of this inimitable artist as among his finest, most
  characteristic productions. Extending over a period of nineteen years,
  from 1835 to 1853, inclusive, they embrace the best period of his
  artistic career, and show the varied excellences of his marvellous
  power. The late Mr. Tilt, of Fleet Street, first conceived the idea of
  the “Comic Almanack,” and at various times there were engaged upon it
  such writers as_ THACKERAY, ALBERT SMITH, _the Brothers_ MAYHEW, _the
  late_ ROBERT BROUGH, GILBERT A’BECKETT, _and, it has been asserted_,
  TOM HOOD _the elder._ THACKERAY’S _stories of “Stubbs’ Calendar; or,
  The Fatal Boots,” which subsequently appeared as “Stubbs’ Diary;” and
  “Barber Cox; or, The Cutting of his Comb,” formed the leading
  attractions in the numbers for 1839 and 1840._


  [Illustration]

  THE BEST GUIDE TO HERALDRY.

  =Cussans’ Handbook of Heraldry=; with Instructions for Tracing
  Pedigrees and Deciphering Ancient MSS.; also, Rules for the
  Appointment of Liveries, &c., &c. By JOHN E. CUSSANS. Illustrated with
  360 Plates and Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt and emblazoned,
  7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ _This volume, beautifully printed on toned paper, contains not only
  the ordinary matter to be found in the best books on the science of
  Armory, but several other subjects hitherto unnoticed. Amongst these
  may be mentioned_:--1. DIRECTIONS FOR TRACING PEDIGREES. 2.
  DECIPHERING ANCIENT MSS., ILLUSTRATED BY ALPHABETS AND FAC-SIMILES. 3.
  THE APPOINTMENT OF LIVERIES. 4. CONTINENTAL AND AMERICAN HERALDRY, &C.


  NEW AND IMPORTANT WORK.

  =Cyclopædia of Costume=; or, A Dictionary of Dress, Regal,
  Ecclesiastical, Civil, and Military, from the Earliest Period in
  England to the reign of George the Third. Including Notices of
  Contemporaneous Fashions on the Continent, and preceded by a General
  History of the Costume of the Principal Countries of Europe. By J. R.
  PLANCHÉ, F.S.A., Somerset Herald.

  _This work will be published in Twenty-four Monthly Parts, quarto, at
  Five Shillings, profusely illustrated by Plates and Wood Engravings;
  with each Part will also be issued a splendid Coloured Plate, from an
  original Painting or Illustration, of Royal and Noble Personages, and
  National Costume, both foreign and domestic. The First Part is just
  ready._

  [Illustration]

  IN collecting materials for a History of Costume of more importance
  than the little handbook which has met with so much favour as an
  elementary work, I was not only made aware of my own deficiencies, but
  surprised to find how much more vague are the explanations, and
  contradictory the statements, of our best authorities, than they
  appeared to me, when, in the plenitude of my ignorance, I rushed upon
  almost untrodden ground, and felt bewildered by the mass of unsifted
  evidence and unhesitating assertion which met my eyes at every turn.

  During the forty years which have elapsed since the publication of the
  first edition of my “History of British Costume” in the “Library of
  Entertaining Knowledge,” archæological investigation has received such
  an impetus by the establishment of metropolitan and provincial
  peripatetic antiquarian societies, that a flood of light has been
  poured upon us, by which we are enabled to re-examine our opinions and
  discover reasons to doubt, if we cannot find facts to authenticate.

  That the former greatly preponderate is a grievous acknowledgment to
  make after assiduously devoting the leisure of half my life to the
  pursuit of information on this, to me, most fascinating subject. It is
  some consolation, however, to feel that where I cannot instruct, I
  shall certainly not mislead, and that the reader will find, under each
  head, all that is known to, or suggested by, the most competent
  writers I am acquainted with, either here or on the Continent.

  That this work appears in a glossarial form arises from the desire of
  many artists, who have expressed to me the difficulty they constantly
  meet with in their endeavours to ascertain the complete form of a
  garment, or the exact mode of fastening a piece of armour, or buckling
  of a belt, from their study of a sepulchral effigy or a figure in an
  illumination; the attitude of the personages represented, or the
  disposition of other portions of their attire, effectually preventing
  the requisite examination.

  The books supplying any such information are very few, and the best
  confined to armour or ecclesiastical costume. The only English
  publication of the kind required, that I am aware of, is the late Mr.
  Fairholt’s “Costume in England” (8vo, London, 1846), the last two
  hundred pages of which contain a glossary, the most valuable portion
  whereof are the quotations from old plays, mediæval romances, and
  satirical ballads, containing allusions to various articles of attire
  in fashion at the time of their composition. Twenty-eight years have
  expired since that book appeared, and it has been thought that a more
  comprehensive work on the subject than has yet issued from the English
  press, combining the pith of the information of many costly foreign
  publications, and, in its illustrations, keeping in view the special
  requirement of the artist, to which I have alluded, would be, in these
  days of educational progress and critical inquiry, a welcome addition
  to the library of an English gentleman.

  J. R. PLANCHÉ.


  =Cussans’ History of Hertfordshire.= A County History, got up in a
  very superior manner, and ranging with the finest works of its class.
  By JOHN E. CUSSANS. Illustrated with full-page Plates on Copper and
  Stone, and a profusion of small Woodcuts. Parts I. to VIII. are now
  ready, price 21_s._ each.

  ⁂ _An entirely new History of this important County, great attention
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  Children Stolen; Maidens Pressed; and others who went from Great
  Britain to the American Plantations, 1600-1700. With their Ages, the
  Localities where they formerly Lived in the Mother Country, Names of
  the Ships in which they embarked, and other interesting particulars.
  From MSS. preserved in the State Paper Department of Her Majesty’s
  Public Record Office, England. Edited by JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN. A very
  handsome volume, crown 4to, cloth gilt, 700 pages, 38_s._ A few Large
  Paper copies have been printed, price 60_s._


  THE OLD DRAMATISTS.

  =Ben Jonson’s Works.= With Notes, Critical and Explanatory, and a
  Biographical Memoir by WILLIAM GIFFORD. Edited by Lieut.-Col. FRANCIS
  CUNNINGHAM. Complete in 3 vols., crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with
  Portrait, price 6_s._ each.

  =George Chapman’s Plays=, Complete, from the Original Quartos,
  including those Plays in which he was only partly concerned. Edited by
  RICHARD HERNE SHEPHERD. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with Portrait
  Frontispiece, price 6_s._

  =George Chapman’s Poems and Minor Translations.= Complete, including
  some Pieces now first printed. With an Essay on the Dramatic and
  Poetical Works of GEORGE CHAPMAN, by ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE. Crown
  8vo, with Frontispiece, cloth extra, 6_s._

  =George Chapman’s Translations of Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey.= Edited
  by RICHARD HERNE SHEPHERD. In one volume, crown 8vo, cloth extra,
  6_s._

  =Christopher Marlowe’s Works=; Including his Translations. Edited,
  with Notes and Introduction, by Lieut.-Col. F. CUNNINGHAM. Crown 8vo,
  cloth extra gilt, with Portrait, price 6_s._

  =Philip Massinger’s Plays.= From the Text of WM. GIFFORD. With the
  addition of the Tragedy of “Believe as You List.” Edited by
  Lieut.-Col. FRANCIS CUNNINGHAM. Crown 8vo, cloth extra gilt, with
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  OLD BOOKS--FACSIMILE REPRINTS.

  =Rump (The)=; or, An Exact Collection of the choicest POEMS and SONGS
  relating to the late Times, and continued by the most eminent Wits;
  from Anno 1639 to 1661. A Facsimile Reprint of the rare Original
  Edition (London, 1662), with Frontispiece and Engraved Title-page. In
  2 vols., large fcap. 8vo, printed on antique laid paper, and bound in
  antique boards, 17_s._ 6_d._

  =D’Urfey’s (“Tom”) Wit and Mirth=; or, PILLS TO PURGE MELANCHOLY:
  Being a Collection of the best Merry Ballads and Songs, Old and New.
  Fitted to all Humours, having each their proper Tune for either Voice
  or Instrument: most of the Songs being new set. London: Printed by W.
  Pearson, for J. Tonson, at Shakespeare’s Head, over-against Catherine
  Street in the Strand, 1719. An exact reprint. In 6 vols., large fcap.
  8vo, antique boards, edges uncut, beautifully printed on laid paper,
  made expressly for the work, £3 3_s._

  =Musarum Deliciæ=; or, The Muses’ Recreation, 1656; Wit Restor’d,
  1658; and Wit’s Recreations, 1640. The whole compared with the
  originals; with all the Wood Engravings, Plates, Memoirs, and Notes. A
  New Edition, in 2 vols., post 8vo, beautifully printed on antique laid
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  =English Rogue (The)=, described in the Life of MERITON LATROON, and
  other Extravagants, comprehending the most Eminent Cheats of both
  Sexes. By RICHARD HEAD and FRANCIS KIRKMAN. A Facsimile Reprint of the
  rare Original Edition (1665-1672), with Frontispiece, Facsimiles of
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  =Ireland Forgeries.--Confessions of= WILLIAM-HENRY IRELAND. Containing
  the Particulars of his Fabrication of the Shakspeare Manuscripts;
  together with Anecdotes and Opinions (hitherto unpublished) of many
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  bound in antique boards, 10_s._ 6_d._; a few Large Paper copies, at
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  =Grose’s Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue.= 1785. An unmutilated
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  top, price 8_s._

  =Joe Miller’s Jests=; the politest Repartees, most elegant Bon-Mots,
  and most pleasing short Stories in the English Language. London;
  printed by T. Read, 1739. A Facsimile of the Original Edition. 8vo,
  half-morocco, 9_s._ 6_d._


  =Old Prose Stories= whence TENNYSON’S “Idylls of the King” were taken.
  By B. M. RANKING. Royal 16mo, paper cover, 1_s._; cloth extra, 1_s._
  6_d._


  OLD SHEKARRY’S WORKS.

  =Forest and Field=: Life and Adventure in Wild Africa. By the OLD
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  OUIDA’S NOVELS.

  Uniform Edition, each Complete in One Volume, crown 8vo, red cloth
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  =Folle Farine.=

  =Idalia=: A Romance.

  =Chandos=: A Novel.

  =Under Two Flags.=

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  =Tricotrin=: The Story of a Waif and Stray.

  =Pascarèl=: Only a Story.

  =Held In Bondage=; or, Granville de Vigne.

  =Puck=: His Vicissitudes, Adventures &c.

  =A Dog of Flanders=, and other Stories.

  =Strathmore=; or, Wrought by his Own Hand.

  =Two Little Wooden Shoes.=


  =Parochial History of the County of Cornwall.= Compiled from the best
  Authorities, and corrected and improved from actual Survey. 4 vols.
  4to, cloth extra, £3 3_s._ the set; or, separately, the first three
  volumes, 16s. each; the fourth volume, 18_s._


  =Plain English.= By JOHN HOLLINGSHEAD, of the Gaiety Theatre. Crown
  8vo, illust. cover, 1_s._

  [_Preparing._


  =Private Book of Useful Alloys and Memoranda for Goldsmiths and
  Jewellers.= By JAMES E. COLLINS, C.E. Royal 16mo, 3_s._ 6_d._


  SEVENTH EDITION OF

  =Puck on Pegasus.= By H. CHOLMONDELEY-PENNELL. Profusely illustrated
  by the late JOHN LEECH, H. K. BROWNE, Sir NOEL PATON, JOHN MILLAIS,
  JOHN TENNIEL, RICHARD DOYLE, Miss ELLEN EDWARDS, and other artists. A
  New Edition (the SEVENTH), crown 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, price 5_s._;
  or gilt edges, 6_s._

  “The book is clever and amusing, vigorous and healthy.”--_Saturday
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  “The epigrammatic drollery of Mr. Cholmondeley-Pennell’s ‘Puck on
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  sixth_) is a superb and handsomely printed and illustrated edition of
  the book.”--_Times._

  “Specially fit for reading in the family circle.”--_Observer._


  “AN AWFULLY JOLLY BOOK FOR PARTIES.”

  [Illustration]

  =Puniana=: Thoughts Wise and Otherwise. By the Hon. HUGH ROWLEY. Best
  Book of Riddles and Puns ever formed. With nearly 100 exquisitely
  Fanciful Drawings. Contains nearly 3000 of the best Riddles, and
  10,000 most outrageous Puns, and is one of the most Popular Books ever
  issued. New Edition, small quarto, green and gold, gilt edges, price
  6_s._

  “Enormous burlesque--unapproachable and pre-eminent. We think this
  very queer volume will be a favourite. We should suggest that, to a
  dull person desirous to get credit with the young holiday people, it
  would be good policy to invest in the book, and dole it out by
  instalments.”--_Saturday Review._

  Also,

  =More Puniana.= By the Hon. HUGH ROWLEY. Containing nearly 100
  beautifully executed Drawings, and a splendid Collection of Riddles
  and Puns, rivalling those in the First Volume. Small 4to, green and
  gold, gilt edges, uniform with the First Series, price 6_s._


  [Illustration]

  COMPANION TO “CUSSANS’ HERALDRY.”

  =Pursuivant of Arms (The)=; or, Heraldry founded upon Facts. A Popular
  Guide to the Science of Heraldry. By J. R. PLANCHÉ, Esq., F.S.A.,
  Somerset Herald. To which are added, Essays on the BADGES OF THE
  HOUSES OF LANCASTER AND YORK. A New Edition, enlarged and revised by
  the Author, illustrated with Coloured Frontispiece, five full-page
  Plates, and about 200 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, beautifully bound in
  cloth, with Emblematic Design, extra gilt, 7_s._ 6_d._


  IMPORTANT TO ALL INTERESTED IN MINES.

  =Practical Assayer=: A Guide to Miners and Explorers. By OLIVER NORTH.
  With Tables and Illustrative Woodcuts. Crown 8vo, 7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ _This book gives directions, in the simplest form, for assaying
  bullion and the baser metals by the cheapest, quickest, and best
  methods. Those interested in mining property will be enabled, by
  following its instructions, to form a tolerably correct idea of the
  value of ores, without previous knowledge of assaying; while to the
  young man seeking his fortune in mining countries it is
  indispensable._

  “Likely to prove extremely useful. The instructions are clear and
  precise.”--_Chemist and Druggist._

  “We cordially recommend this compact little volume to all engaged in
  mining enterprize, and especially to explorers.”--_Monetary and Mining
  Review._

  “An admirable little volume.”--_Mining Journal._


  GUSTAVE DORÉ’S DESIGNS.

  =Rabelais’ Works.= Faithfully translated from the French, with
  variorum Notes, and numerous characteristic Illustrations by GUSTAVE
  DORÉ. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 700 pages. Price 7_s._ 6_d._


  UNIFORM WITH “WONDERFUL CHARACTERS.”

  =Remarkable Trials and Notorious Characters.= From “Half-Hanged
  Smith,” 1700, to Oxford, who shot at the Queen, 1840. By Captain L.
  BENSON. With spirited full-page Engravings by PHIZ. 8vo, 550 pages,
  7_s._ 6_d._


  =Rochefoucauld’s Reflections and Moral Maxims.= With Introductory
  Essay by SAINTE-BEUVE, and Explanatory Notes. Cloth extra, 1_s._ 6_d._


  =Reminiscences of the late Thomas Assheton Smith, Esq.=; or, The
  Pursuits of an English Country Gentleman. By Sir J. E. EARDLEY WILMOT,
  Bart. A New and Revised Edition, with Steel-plate Portrait, and plain
  and coloured Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._


  =Roll of Battle Abbey=; or, A List of the Principal Warriors who came
  over from Normandy with William the Conqueror, and Settled in this
  Country, A.D. 1066-7. Carefully drawn, and printed on fine plate
  paper, nearly three feet by two feet, with the Arms of the principal
  Barons elaborately emblazoned in Gold and Colours. Price 5_s._; or,
  handsomely framed in carved oak of an antique pattern, 22_s._ 6_d._


  =Roll of Caerlaverock=, the Oldest Heraldic Roll; including the
  Original Anglo-Norman Poem, and an English Translation of the MS. in
  the British Museum. By THOMAS WRIGHT, M.A. The Arms emblazoned in Gold
  and Colours. In 4to, very handsomely printed, extra gold cloth, 12_s._


  =Roman Catholics in the County of York in 1604.= Transcribed from the
  Original MS. in the Bodleian Library, and Edited, with Genealogical
  Notes, by EDWARD PEACOCK, F.S.A., Editor of “Army Lists of the
  Roundheads and Cavaliers, 1642.” Small 4to, handsomely printed and
  bound, 15_s._

  ⁂ _Genealogists and Antiquaries will find much new and curious matter
  in this work. An elaborate Index refers to every name in the volume,
  among which will be found many of the highest local interest._


  =Ross’s (Chas. H.) Story of a Honeymoon.= A New Edition of this
  charmingly humorous book, with numerous Illustrations by the Author.
  Fcap. 8vo, illustrated boards, 2_s._


  =School Life at Winchester College=; or, The Reminiscences of a
  Winchester Junior. By the Author of “The Log of the Water Lily;” and
  “The Water Lily on the Danube.” Second Edition, Revised, COLOURED
  PLATES, 7_s._ 6_d._


  =Schopenhauer’s The World Considered as Will and Imagination.=
  Translated by Dr. FRANZ HÜFFER, Author of “Richard Wagner and the
  Music of the Future.”

  [_In preparation._


  THE “SECRET OUT” SERIES.

  Crown 8vo, cloth extra, profusely Illustrated, price 4_s._ 6_d._ per
  Vol.

  =Art of Amusing.= A Collection of Graceful Arts, Games, Tricks,
  Puzzles, and Charades, intended to Amuse Everybody. By FRANK BELLEW.
  With nearly 300 Illustrations.

  =Hanky-Panky.= A Wonderful Book of Very Easy Tricks, Very Difficult
  Tricks, White Magic, Sleight of Hand; in fact, all those startling
  Deceptions which the Great Wizards call “Hanky-Panky.” Edited by W. H.
  CREMER. With nearly 200 Illustrations.

  =Magician’s Own Book.= Ample Instruction for Performances with Cups
  and Balls, Eggs, Hats, Handkerchiefs, &c. All from Actual Experience.
  Edited by W. H. CREMER. With 200 Illustrations.

  =Magic No Mystery.= A Splendid Collection of Tricks with Cards, Dice,
  Balls, &c., with fully descriptive working Directions. With very
  numerous Illustrations.

  [_Nearly ready._

  =Merry Circle (The)=, and How the Visitors were entertained during
  Twelve Pleasant Evenings. A Book of New Intellectual Games and
  Amusements. Edited by Mrs. CLARA BELLEW. With numerous Illustrations.

  =Secret Out=; or, One Thousand Tricks with Cards, and other
  Recreations; with Entertaining Experiments in Drawing Room or “White
  Magic.” Edited by W. H. CREMER. With 300 Engravings.


  =Shelley’s Early Life.= From Original Sources. With Curious Incidents,
  Letters, and Writings, now First Published or Collected. By DENIS
  FLORENCE MAC-CARTHY. Crown 8vo, with Illustrations, 440 pages, 7_s._
  6_d._


  =Sheridan’s Complete Works=, with Life and Anecdotes. Including his
  Dramatic Writings, printed from the Original Editions, his Works in
  Prose and Poetry, Translations, Speeches, Jokes, Puns, &c.; with a
  Collection of Sheridaniana. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, with 10 beautifully
  executed Portraits and Scenes from his Plays, 7_s._ 6_d._


  [Illustration: HELP ME THROUGH THIS WORLD!]

  =Signboards=: Their History. With Anecdotes of Famous Taverns and
  Remarkable Characters. By JACOB LARWOOD and JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN.
  SEVENTH EDITION. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

  “It is not fair on the part of a reviewer to pick out the plums of an
  author’s book, thus filching away his cream, and leaving little but
  skim-milk remaining; but, even if we were ever so maliciously
  inclined, we could not in the present instance pick out all Messrs.
  Larwood and Hotten’s plums, because the good things are so numerous as
  to defy the most wholesale depredation.”--_The Times._

  ⁂ _Nearly 100 most curious illustrations on wood are given, showing
  the signs which were formerly hung from taverns, &c._


  [Illustration: THE WEDGE AND THE WOODEN SPOON.]

  HANDBOOK OF COLLOQUIALISMS.

  =The Slang Dictionary=: Etymological, Historical, and Anecdotal. An
  ENTIRELY NEW EDITION, revised throughout, and considerably Enlarged,
  containing upwards of a thousand more words than the last edition.
  Crown 8vo, with Curious Illustrations, cloth extra, 6_s._ 6_d._

  “Peculiarly a book which ‘no gentleman’s library should be without,’
  while to costermongers and thieves it is absolutely
  indispensable.”--_Dispatch._

  “Interesting and curious. Contains as many as it was possible to
  collect of all the words and phrases of modern slang in use at the
  present time.”--_Public Opinion._

  “In every way a great improvement on the edition of 1864. Its uses as
  a dictionary of the very vulgar tongue do not require to be
  explained.”--_Notes and Queries._

  “Compiled with most exacting care, and based on the best
  authorities.”--_Standard._

  “In ‘The Slang Dictionary’ we have not only a book that reflects
  credit upon the philologist; it is also a volume that will repay, at
  any time, a dip into its humorous pages.”--_Figaro._


  WEST-END LIFE AND DOINGS.

  =Story of the London Parks.= By JACOB LARWOOD. With numerous
  Illustrations, Coloured and Plain. In One thick Volume, crown 8vo,
  cloth extra, gilt, 7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ _A most interesting work, giving a complete History of these
  favourite out-of-door resorts, from the earliest period to the present
  time._


  A KEEPSAKE FOR SMOKERS.

  =Smoker’s Text-Book.= By J. HAMER, F.R.S.L. Exquisitely printed from
  “silver-faced” type, cloth, very neat, gilt edges, 2_s._ 6_d._, post
  free.


  CHARMING NEW TRAVEL-BOOK.

  [Illustration: “It may be we shall touch the happy isles.”]

  =Summer Cruising in the South Seas=, By CHARLES WARREN STODDARD. With
  Twenty-five Engravings on Wood, drawn by WALLIS MACKAY. Crown 8vo,
  cloth, extra gilt, 7_s._ 6_d._

  “This is a very amusing book, and full of that quiet humour for which
  the Americans are so famous. We have not space to enumerate all the
  picturesque descriptions, the poetical thoughts, which have so charmed
  us in this volume; but we recommend our readers to go to the South
  Seas with Mr. Stoddard in his prettily illustrated and amusingly
  written little book.”--_Vanity Fair._

  “Mr. Stoddard’s book is delightful reading, and in Mr. Wallis Mackay
  he has found a most congenial and poetical
  illustrator.”--_Bookseller._

  “A remarkable book, which has a certain wild
  picturesqueness.”--_Standard._

  “The author’s experiences are very amusingly related, and, in parts,
  with much freshness and originality.”--_Judy._

  “Mr. Stoddard is a humourist; ‘Summer Cruising’ has a good deal of
  undeniable amusement.”--_Nation._


  =Syntax’s (Dr.) Three Tours.= With the whole of ROWLANDSON’S very
  droll full-page Illustrations, in Colours, after the Original
  Drawings. Comprising the well-known TOURS--1. IN SEARCH OF THE
  PICTURESQUE. 2. IN SEARCH OF CONSOLATION. 3. IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. The
  Three Series Complete, with a Life of the Author by JOHN CAMDEN
  HOTTEN. Medium 8vo, cloth extra, gilt, price 7_s._ 6_d._


  =Theseus: A Greek Fairy Legend.= Illustrated, in a series of Designs
  in Gold and Sepia, by JOHN MOYR SMITH. With descriptive text. Oblong
  folio, price 7_s._ 6_d._


  [Illustration: THEODORE HOOK’S HOUSE, NEAR PUTNEY]

  =Theodore Hook’s Choice Humorous Works=, with his Ludicrous
  Adventures, Bons-mots, Puns, and Hoaxes. With a new Life of the
  Author, PORTRAITS, FACSIMILES, and ILLUSTRATIONS. Crown 8vo, 600
  pages, cloth extra, 7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ “As a wit and humourist of the highest order his name will be
  preserved. His political songs and _jeux d’esprit_, when the hour
  comes for collecting them, _will form a volume of sterling and lasting
  attraction_!”--J. G. LOCKHART.


  MR. SWINBURNE’S WORKS.

  SECOND EDITION NOW READY OF

  =Bothwell=: A Tragedy. By ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE. Crown 8vo, cloth
  extra, pp. 540, 12_s._ 6_d._

  “Mr. Swinburne’s most prejudiced critic cannot, we think, deny that
  ‘Bothwell’ is a poem of a very high character. Every line bears traces
  of power, individuality, and vivid imagination. The versification,
  while characteristically supple and melodious, also attains, in spite
  of some affectations, to a sustained strength and dignity of a
  remarkable kind. Mr. Swinburne is not only a master of the music of
  language, but he has that indescribable touch which discloses the true
  poet--the touch that lifts from off the ground.”--_Saturday Review._

  “It is not too much to say that, should he never write anything more,
  the poet has by this work firmly established his position, and given
  us a poem upon which his fame may safely rest. He no longer indulges
  in that frequent alliteration, or that oppressive wealth of imagery
  and colour, which gave rhythm and splendour to some of his works, but
  would have been out of place in a grand historical poem; we have now a
  fair opportunity of judging what the poet can do when deprived of such
  adventitious aid,--and the verdict is, that he must henceforth rank
  amongst the first of British authors.”--_Graphic._

  “The whole drama flames and rings with high passions and great deeds.
  The imagination is splendid; the style large and imperial; the insight
  into character keen; the blank verse varied, sensitive, flexible,
  alive. Mr. Swinburne has once more proved his right to occupy a seat
  among the lofty singers of our land.”--_Daily News._

  “A really grand, statuesque dramatic work.... The reader will here
  find Mr. Swinburne at his very best, if manliness, dignity, and
  fulness of style are superior to mere pleasant singing and
  alliterative lyrics.”--_Standard._

  “Splendid pictures, subtle analyses of passion, and wonderful studies
  of character will repay him who attains the end.... In this huge
  volume are many fine and some unsurpassable things. Subtlest traits of
  character abound, and descriptive passages of singular
  delicacy.”--_Athenæum._

  “There can be no doubt of the dramatic force of the poem. It is
  severely simple in its diction, and never dull; there are innumerable
  fine touches on almost every page.”--_Scotsman._

  “‘Bothwell’ shows us Mr. Swinburne at a point immeasurably superior to
  any that he has yet achieved. It will confirm and increase the
  reputation which his daring genius has already won. He has handled a
  difficult subject with a mastery of art which is a true intellectual
  triumph.”--_Hour._

  =Chastelard=: A Tragedy. Foolscap 8vo, 7_s._

  =Poems and Ballads.= Foolscap 8vo, 9_s._

  =Notes on= “=Poems and Ballads=,” and on the Reviews of them. Demy
  8vo, 1_s._

  =Songs before Sunrise.= Post 8vo, 10_s._ 6_d._

  =Atalanta in Calydon.= Fcap. 8vo, 6_s._

  =The Queen Mother and Rosamond.= Foolscap 8vo, 5_s._

  =A Song of Italy.= Foolscap 8vo, 3_s._ 6_d._

  =Ode on the Proclamation of the French Republic.= Demy 8vo, 1_s._

  =Under the Microscope.= Post 8vo, 2_s._ 6_d._

  =William Blake=: A Critical Essay. With facsimile Paintings, Coloured
  by Hand, after the Drawings by Blake and his Wife. Demy 8vo, 16_s._


  [Illustration]

  THE THACKERAY SKETCH-BOOK.

  THACKERAYANA.

  _Notes and Anecdotes,_

  Illustrated by about Six Hundred Sketches by WILLIAM MAKEPEACE
  THACKERAY, depicting Humorous Incidents in his School-life, and
  Favourite Scenes and Characters in the books of his every-day reading,
  NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME PUBLISHED, from the Original Drawings made on
  the margins of his books, &c. Large post 8vo, cloth extra gilt, gilt
  top, price 12_s._ 6_d._

  “It is Thackeray’s aim to represent life as it is actually and
  historically--men and women as they are, in those situations in which
  they are usually placed, with that mixture of good and evil, of
  strength and foible, which is to be found in their characters, and
  liable only to those incidents which are of ordinary occurrence. He
  will have no faultless characters, no demi-gods,--nothing but men and
  brethren.”--DAVID MASSON.


  [Illustration: THE SUBSCRIPTION ROOM AT BROOKES’S.]

  =Timbs’ Clubs and Club Life in London.= With ANECDOTES of its FAMOUS
  COFFEE HOUSES, HOSTELRIES, and TAVERNS. By JOHN TIMBS, F.S.A. New
  Edition, with NUMEROUS ILLUSTRATIONS, drawn expressly. Crown 8vo,
  cloth extra, 600 pages, 7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ _A Companion to “The History of Sign-Boards.” It abounds in quaint
  stories of the_ Blue Stocking, Kit-Kat, Beef Steak, Robin Hood,
  Mohocks, Scriblerus, One o’Clock, the Civil, _and hundreds of other
  Clubs; together with_ Tom’s, Dick’s, Button’s, Ned’s, Will’s, _and the
  famous Coffee Houses of the last century_.

  “The book supplies a much-felt want. The club is the avenue to general
  society at the present day, and Mr. Timbs gives the _entrée_ to the
  club. The scholar and antiquary will also find the work a repertory of
  information on many disputed points of literary interest, and
  especially respecting various well-known anecdotes, the value of which
  only increases with the lapse of time.”--_Morning Post._


  =Timbs’ English Eccentrics and Eccentricities.= Stories of Wealth and
  Fashion, Delusions, Impostures and Fanatic Missions, Strange Sights
  and Sporting Scenes, Eccentric Artists, Theatrical Folks, Men of
  Letters, &c. By JOHN TIMBS, F.S.A. An entirely New Edition, with about
  50 Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth extra, 600 pages, 7_s._ 6_d._


  [Illustration]

  =Taylor’s History of Playing Cards.= With Sixty curious Illustrations.
  550 pp., crown 8vo, cloth, extra gilt, price 7_s._ 6_d._

  ⁂ _Ancient and Modern Games, Conjuring, Fortune-Telling, and Card
  Sharping, Gambling and Calculation, Cartomancy, Old Gaming-Houses,
  Card Revels and Blind Hookey, Picquet and Vingt-et-un, Whist and
  Cribbage, Tricks, &c._


  =Vagabondiana=; or, Anecdotes of Mendicant Wanderers through the
  Streets of London; with Portraits of the most remarkable, drawn from
  the Life by JOHN THOMAS SMITH, late Keeper of the Prints in the
  British Museum. With Introduction by FRANCIS DOUCE, and descriptive
  text. Reprinted from the original, with the Woodcuts, and the 32
  Plates, from the original Coppers, in crown 4to, half Roxburghe, price
  12_s._ 6_d._


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  =Victor Hugo’s Cosette and Marius.= Translated into English, complete,
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  =Walton and Cotton, Illustrated.--The Complete Angler=; or, the
  Contemplative Man’s Recreation; being a Discourse of Rivers,
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  Instructions how to Angle for a Trout or Grayling in a clear Stream,
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  royal 8vo two-volume Edition issued by Pickering. A New Edition,
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  =Warrant to Execute Charles I.= An exact Facsimile of this important
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  original document, 22 in. by 14 in. Price 2_s._; or, handsomely framed
  and glazed in carved oak of antique pattern, 14_s._ 6_d._


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  important Document, including the Signature of Queen Elizabeth and
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  =Waterford Roll (The).--Illuminated Charter-Roll of Waterford=, Temp.
  Richard II.

  ⁂ _Amongst the Corporation Muniments of the City of Waterford is
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  most part in the quaint bipartite costume of the Second Richard’s
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  ⁂ _There are so many curious matters discussed in this volume, that
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  =Wright’s Caricature History of the Georges= (House of Hanover). With
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  =Yankee Drolleries=, Edited by G. A. SALA. Containing ARTEMUS WARD’S
  BOOK; BIGLOW PAPERS; ORPHEUS C. KERR; JACK DOWNING; and NASBY PAPERS.
  700 pp., 3_s._ 6_d._

  =More Yankee Drolleries.= Containing ARTEMUS WARD’S TRAVELS; HANS
  BREITMANN; PROFESSOR AT BREAKFAST TABLE; BIGLOW PAPERS, Part II.; and
  JOSH BILLINGS; with Introduction by G. A. SALA. 700 pp., cloth, 3_s._
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  =A Third Supply of Yankee Drolleries.= Containing ARTEMUS WARD’S
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  ABROAD; and NEW PILGRIM’S PROGRESS; with an Introduction by G. A.
  SALA. 700 pp., cloth, 3_s._ 6_d._


  _74 & 75, PICCADILLY, LONDON, W._




Facsimiles of newspaper pages transcribed in the text


  Domestick Intelligence
  (following Page 4)

  [Illustration: facsimile]

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  WEEKELY Newes from Italy, etc.
  (following Page 96)

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  The Weekly Account: etc.
  (following Page 104)

  [Illustration: fasimile]


  THE TIMES
  (following Page 234)


  First sheet

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  Second sheet

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  Third sheet

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  Fourth sheet

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  Bish lottery advertisement
  (page 465)

  [Illustration: facsimile]


  Overend Gurney & Co. Disaster Handbill
  (Page 555)

  [Illustration: facsimile]




  Transcriber’s Notes


  Other versions of this e-text contain facsimiles of newspapers and
  advertisements that cannot be shown to full advantage in a flat text
  like this. Please see www.gutenberg.org for these other versions.

  Inconsistent and unusual spelling (in English and other languages)
  have been retained, and accents and diacritical characters have not
  been changed, except as mentioned below.

  Depending on the hard- and software used and their settings, not all
  elements may display as intended.

  Domestick Intelligence (following page 4), (_which was as it seems_
  ... _discontented_;): one closing bracket is missing in the source
  document.

  The Times (following page 234): some of the printing was difficult to
  read. The following transcriptions are therefore not certain: A
  complete Dressing case ... 6d.; Dr. (in Dr. Arnold); the price (12s.)
  of Dr. Derham’s Theology; principals in ... two of the principals ...;
  several of the names in SHIP NEWS; several items in PRICES OF STOCKS;
  some prices and descriptions in FURNISHING KITCHENS; life in ... a
  certificate of the life ... (IRISH LIFE ANNUITIES); several names in
  the list on the page bottom

  STATIONARY, New Goal, no otherwise provided for, sallard oil, Sour
  Crout: as printed in the original work. During the late memorable
  contest ...: both Johnson and Johnstone are used in the same
  paragraph.

  Page 286 ff, codes: the coded messages and decoding methods have been
  copied verbatim from the source, without any corrections.

  Page 340, the balance due should be £1, 3s., 10½d.

  Page 486, ... one that is deemed no Scold: as printed; other sources
  have ... one that is deemed a Scold.

  Page 508, affectione: possibly an error for affectionate

  Page 532, item 5 is printed on the same line as item 4 in the source
  document, unlike the other items.

  Page 533, 16 ¶: as printed in the original work.

  Page 562, patent pen fountain: as printed

  Page 600: QUI À CESSE: as printed


  Changes made:

  Footnotes have been moved to the end of the chapters.

  Some obvious punctuation and typographical errors have been corrected
  silently; all corrections made to quoted material are listed below.

  Inverted asterisms have been replaced by asterisms.

  Page 45: IIII., IIII., VI., changed to IIII., IIII., VII.,

  Page 52: Exigius changed to Exiguis; characteritus changed to
  characteribus

  Page 64: Italien en de Duytschland changed to Italien ende Duytschland

  Page 71: To Salisbury in two days changed to To _Salisbury_ in two
  days (cf. other place names)

  Page 86: comma inserted after ... only her husband

  Page 113: Sedley Rochester, changed to Sedley, Rochester,

  Page 126: _Domestic Intelligence_ changed to _Domestick Intelligence_
  as elsewhere

  Page 218: closing bracket inserted after ... to the said Parish

  The Times, following page 234: Lousia Hervey changed to Louisa Hervey;
  divided into Half Quarter, Eighth ... changed to divided into Half,
  Quarter, Eighth ...; Lofseter changed to Losseter; cominee changed to
  nominee

  Page 256: Prospects of Lorton’s changed to Prospects of LORTON’S;
  opening quote inserted before Use my _vegetable_ ...

  Page 272: comma inserted after James Speculate, Esq.

  Page 410, Footnote [37]: was’nt changed to wasn’t

  Page 424: The N of lotts changed to The N^{o} of lotts

  Page 450, table (last row before totals): 2880 changed to 28800

  Adverts at end of book: Edicion changed to Edición (2x); might not
  inappropriately termed changed to might not inappropriately be termed.





End of Project Gutenberg's A History of Advertising, by Henry Sampson

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 54149 ***