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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #54106 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/54106)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbours on the Green; My Faithful Johnny, by
-Mrs. Oliphant
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Neighbours on the Green; My Faithful Johnny
-
-Author: Mrs. Oliphant
-
-Release Date: February 3, 2017 [EBook #54106]
-[Last updated: October 14, 2017]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEIGHBOURS ON THE GREEN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- NEIGHBOURS
-
- ON THE GREEN
-
- [Illustration: colophon]
-
-
-
-
- NEIGHBOURS
-
- ON THE GREEN
-
- MRS. OLIPHANT
-
- ‘Old wives’ tales.’
-
- London
- MACMILLAN AND CO.
- AND NEW YORK
-
- 1889
-
- _All Rights Reserved._
-
- RICHARD CLAY AND SONS, LIMITED,
- LONDON AND BUNGAY.
-
-
-
-
- Inscribed
-
- TO SEVERAL OLD FRIENDS,
-
- AND ESPECIALLY TO THE GALLANT SOLDIER AND WRITER,
-
- General George Chesney,
-
- AND THE DISTINGUISHED CRITIC AND PHILOSOPHER,
-
- Mr. R. H. Hutton,
-
- WHO AT THE TIME THESE STORIES WERE
-
- WRITTEN GAVE DISTINCTION TO
-
- THE GREEN.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
- PAGE
-
-MY NEIGHBOUR NELLY 1
-
-LADY DENZIL 31
-
-THE STOCKBROKER AT DINGLEWOOD 65
-
-THE SCIENTIFIC GENTLEMAN 99
-
-LADY ISABELLA 148
-
-AN ELDERLY ROMANCE 182
-
-MRS. MERRIDEW’S FORTUNE 207
-
-THE BARLEY MOW 237
-
-MY FAITHFUL JOHNNY 271
-
-
-
-
-Neighbours on the Green
-
-
-
-
-MY NEIGHBOUR NELLY
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-They were both my neighbours, of course: but to apportion one’s heart’s
-love in equal shares according to the claims of justice is a very
-different matter. I saw as much of one sister as the other. And Martha
-was an excellent girl, quite honest and friendly and good; but as for
-Ellen, there never could be any question about her. One did not even
-think of discriminating which were her special good qualities. She was
-Ellen, that was enough; or Nelly, which I prefer, for my part. We all
-lived at Dinglefield Green in these old days. It is a model of a
-village, in one sense of the word; not the kind of place, it is true, to
-which the name is generally applied, but a village _orné_, as there are
-cottages _ornés_. The real little hamlet, where the poor people lived,
-was at a little distance, and gave us plenty of occupation and trouble.
-But for Dinglefield Green proper, it was such a village as exists
-chiefly in novels. The Green was the central point, a great triangular
-breadth of soft grass, more like a small common than a village green,
-with the prettiest houses round--houses inclosed in their own
-grounds,--houses at the very least embosomed in pretty gardens, peeping
-out from among the trees. None of us were very rich; nor was there
-anything that could be called a ‘place’ in the circle of dwellings. But
-I believe there was as much good blood and good connection among us as
-are rarely to be found even in a much larger community. The great house
-opposite, which was separated from the green by a ha-ha, and opened to
-us only a pretty sweep of lawn, looking almost like a park, belonged to
-Sir Thomas Denzil, whose pedigree, as everybody knows, is longer than
-the Queen’s. Next to him was Mrs. Stoke’s pretty cottage who was--one of
-the Stokes who have given their name to places all over the country:
-the son is now General Stoke, a C.B., and I don’t know what besides: and
-her daughter married Lord Leamington. Next to that--but it is needless
-to give a directory of the place: probably our neighbours, in their
-different habitations, may appear in their proper persons before my
-story is done.
-
-The sisters lived next to me; my house lay, as their father said,
-athwart their bows. The Admiral was too much a gentleman to talk ship,
-or shop, as the gentlemen call it, in ordinary conversation; but he did
-say that my cottage lay athwart his bows; and the girls admitted that it
-would have been unpleasant had it been anybody but me. I was then a
-rather young widow, and having no children, did not want much of a
-house. My cottage was very pretty. I think myself that there was not so
-pretty a room in all the green as my drawing-room; but it was small. My
-house stood with its gable-end to the green, and fronted the hedge which
-was the boundary of Admiral Fortis’ grounds. His big gate and my small
-one were close together. If the hedge had been cut down, I should have
-commanded a full view of the lawn before his house, and the door; and
-nobody could have gone out or come in without my inspection. They were
-so friendly, that it was once proposed to cut it down, and give me and
-my flowers more air; but we both reflected that we were mortal;
-circumstances might change with both of us; I might die, and some one
-else come to the cottage whose inspection might not be desirable; or the
-Admiral might die, and his girls marry, and strangers come. In short,
-the end of it was that the hedge remained; but instead of being a thick
-holly wall, like the rest of my inclosure, it was a picturesque hedge of
-hawthorn, which was very sweet in spring and a perfect mass of
-convolvulus in autumn; and it had gaps in it and openings. Nelly herself
-made a round cutting just opposite my window, and twined the honeysuckle
-into a frame for it. I could see them through it as I sat at work. I
-could see them at their croquet, and mounting their horses at the door,
-and going out for their walks, and doing their capricious gardening.
-Indeed it was Nelly only who ever attempted to work in the garden; the
-other was afraid of her hands and her complexion, and a hundred things.
-Nelly was not afraid of anything--not even of Mr. Nicholson, the
-gardener, who filled me with awe and trembling. Perhaps you may say that
-there was not much fear of her complexion. She was brown, to begin with;
-but the prettiest brown--clear, with crimson flushes that went and came,
-and changed her aspect every moment. Her eyes were the softest dark eyes
-I ever saw; they did not penetrate or flash or sparkle, but glowed on
-you with a warm lambent light. In winter, with her red cloak on, she was
-the prettiest little figure; and the cold suited her, and made her glow
-and bound about like a creature of air. As for Martha, she was a great
-deal larger and whiter than her sister. I suppose, on the whole, she
-was the prettier of the two, though she did not please me so well. They
-were their father’s only children, and he was very fond of them. Their
-mother had been dead so long that they had no recollection of her; and
-the girls were not without those defects which girls brought up by a man
-are so apt to have. They were rather disposed to think that anything
-could be had for a little coaxing. Perhaps they had more confidence in
-their own blandishments than is common with girls, and were more ready
-to use them, knowing how powerless papa was against their arts. They
-were badly educated, for the same reason. The Admiral was too fond of
-them to part with them; and he was one of the men who fear reports and
-rumours, and would not have a lady, not even a middle-aged governess, in
-his house. He had expensive masters for his girls, and the girls did
-what they pleased with those excellent gentlemen, and grew up with the
-very smallest amount of education compatible with civilization. I rather
-liked it, I confess, in Nelly, who was very bright, and asked about
-everything, and jumped at an understanding of most things she heard of.
-But it did not answer in Martha’s case, who was not bright, and was the
-sort of girl who wanted to be taught music, for instance, properly, and
-to practise six hours a day. Without being taught, and without
-practising, the good girl (for Nelly, as she explained, had no taste for
-music) thought it her duty to play to amuse her friends; and the result
-was a trial to the temper of Dinglefield Green. We had some very good
-musicians among us, and Martha heard them continually, but never was
-enlightened as to the nature of her own performance; whereas Nelly knew
-and grew crimson every time her sister approached the piano. But Nelly
-was my favourite, as everybody knew; and perhaps, as a natural
-consequence, I did her sister less than justice.
-
-We led a very pleasant, neighbourly life in those days. Some of us were
-richer, and some poorer; but we all visited each other. The bigger
-houses asked the smaller ones to dinner, and did not disdain to pay a
-return visit to tea. In the summer afternoons, if you crossed the Green
-(and could hear anything for the noise the cricketers made) you would be
-sure to hear, in one quarter or another, the click of the croquet balls,
-and find all the young people of the place assembled over their game,
-not without groups of the elder ones sitting round on the edge of the
-well-mown lawns. When I settled there first, I was neither young nor
-old, and there was a difficulty which party to class me with; but by
-degrees I found my place among the mothers, or aunts, or general
-guardians of the society; and by degrees my young neighbours came to be
-appropriated to me as my particular charge. We walked home together, and
-we went to parties together; and, of course, a little gossip got up
-about the Admiral--gossip which was entirely without foundation, for I
-detest second marriages, and indeed have had quite enough of it for my
-part. But Nelly took a clinging to me--I don’t say a fancy, which would
-be too light a word. She had never known a woman intimately
-before--never one older than herself, to whom she was half a child and
-half a companion. And she liked it, and so did I.
-
-There was one absurd peculiarity about the two girls, which I shall
-always think was the foundation of all the mischief. They never called
-each other, nor were called, by their names. They were ‘the Sisters’ to
-everybody. I suppose it was a fancy of their father’s--he called them
-‘the Sisters’ always. They called each other Sister when they spoke to
-or of each other. It annoyed me at first, and I made an attempt to
-change the custom. But Martha disliked her name. She had been called
-after her grandmother, and she thought it was a shame. ‘Martha and
-Ellen!’ she said indignantly. ‘What could papa be thinking of? It sounds
-like two old women in the alms-houses. And other girls have such pretty
-names. If you call me Martha, Mrs. Mulgrave, I will never speak to you
-again.’ When one thought of it, it was a hard case. I felt for her, for
-my own name is Sarah, and I remember the trouble it was to me when I was
-a girl; and the general use and wont of course overcame me at last. They
-were called ‘the Sisters’ everywhere on the Green. I believe some of us
-did not even know their proper names. I said mischief might come of it,
-and they laughed at me; but there came a time when Nelly, at least,
-laughed at me no more.
-
-It was in the early summer that young Llewellyn came to stay with the
-Denzils at their great house opposite. He was a distant cousin of
-theirs, which was a warrant that his family was all that could be
-desired. And he had a nice little property in Wales, which had come to
-him unexpectedly on the death of an elder brother. And, to crown all, he
-was a sailor, having gone into the navy when he was a second son. Of
-course, being a naval man, it was but natural that he should be brought
-to the Admiral first of all. And he very soon got to be very intimate in
-the house; and indeed, for that matter, in every house on the Green. I
-believe it is natural to sailors to have that hearty, cordial way. He
-came to see me, though I had no particular attraction for him, as
-cheerfully as if I had been a girl, or alas! had girls of my own.
-Perhaps it was the opening in the hedge that pleased him. He would sit
-and look--but he did not speak to me of the sisters, more’s the pity. He
-was shy of that subject. I could see he was in real earnest, as the
-children say, by his shyness about the girls. He would begin to say
-something, and then rush on to another subject, and come back again half
-an hour after to the identical point he had started from. But I suppose
-it never occurred to him that I had any skill to fathom that. He went
-with them on all their picnics, and was at all their parties; and he
-rode with them, riding very well for a sailor. The rides are beautiful
-round Dinglefield. There is a royal park close at hand, where you can
-lose yourself in grassy glades and alleys without number. I had even
-been tempted to put myself on my old pony, and wander about with them on
-the springy turf under the trees; though, as for their canterings and
-gallopings, and the way in which Nelly’s horse kicked its heels about
-when it got excited, they were always alarming to me. But it was a
-pleasant life. There is something in that moment of existence when the
-two who are to go together through life see each other first, and are
-mysteriously attracted towards each other, and forswear their own ideal
-and all their dreams, and mate themselves, under some secret compulsion
-which they do not understand--I say there is something in such a moment
-which throws a charm over life to all their surroundings. Though it be
-all over for us; though perhaps we may have been in our own persons
-thoroughly disenchanted, or may even have grown bitter in our sense of
-the difference between reality and romance, still the progress of an
-incipient wooing gives a zest to our pleasure. There is something in the
-air, some magical influence, some glamour, radiating from the hero and
-the heroine. When everything is settled, and the wedding looms in sight,
-fairyland melts away, and the lovers are no more interesting than any
-other pair. It is perhaps the uncertainty, the chance of disaster; the
-sense that one may take flight or offence, or that some rival may come
-in, or a hundred things happen to dissipate the rising tenderness. There
-is the excitement of a drama about it--a drama subject to the curious
-contradictions of actual existence, and utterly regardless of all the
-unities. I thought I could see the little sister, who was my pet and
-favourite, gradually grouping thus with young Llewellyn. They got
-together somehow, whatever the arrangements of the party might be. They
-might drive to the Dingle, which was our favourite spot, in different
-carriages, with different parties, and at different times; but they were
-always to be found together under the trees when everybody had arrived.
-Perhaps they did not yet know it themselves; but other people began to
-smile, and Lady Denzil, I could see, was watching Nelly. She had other
-views, I imagine, for her young cousin since he came to the estate.
-Nelly, too, once had very different views. I knew what her ideal was.
-It, or rather he, was a blonde young giant, six feet tall at least, with
-blue eyes, and curling golden hair. He was to farm his own land, and
-live a country life, and be of no profession; and he was to be pure
-Saxon, to counterbalance a little defect in Nelly’s race, or rather, as
-she supposed, in her complexion, occasioned by the fact that her mother
-was of Spanish blood. Such was her ideal, as she had often confided to
-me. It was funny to see how this gigantic and glorious vision melted out
-of her mind. Llewellyn was not very tall; he was almost as dark as
-Nelly; he was a sailor, and he was a Welshman. What did it matter? One
-can change one’s ideal so easily when one is under twenty. Perhaps in
-his imagination he had loved a milk-white maiden too.
-
-Lady Denzil however watched, having, as I shall always believe, other
-intentions in her mind for Llewellyn, though she had no daughter of her
-own; and I am sure it was her influence which hurried him away the last
-day, without taking leave of any of us. She kept back the telegram which
-summoned him to join his ship, until there was just time to get the
-train. And so he had to rush away, taking off his hat to us, and almost
-getting out of the window of the carriage in his eagerness, when he saw
-us at the Admiral’s door, as he dashed past to the station.
-
-‘Good-bye, for the moment,’ he shouted; ‘I hope I am coming back.’ And I
-could see, by the colour in Nelly’s cheek, that their eyes had met, and
-understood each other. Her sister bowed and smiled very graciously, and
-chattered about a hundred things.
-
-‘I wonder why he is going in such a hurry? I wonder what he means about
-coming back?’ said Martha. ‘I am sure I am very sorry he is gone. He was
-very nice, and always ready for anything. What a bore a ship is! I
-remember when papa was like that--always rushing away. Don’t you,
-Sister?--but you were too young.’
-
-‘I remember hearing people talk of it,’ said Nelly with a sigh.
-
-She was _rêveuse_, clouded over, everything that it was natural to be
-under the circumstances. She would not trust herself to say he was nice.
-It was I who had to answer, and keep up the conversation for her. For my
-own part, I confess I was vexed that he had gone so soon--that he had
-gone without an explanation. These things are far better to be settled
-out of hand. A man has to go away when his duty calls; but nobody can
-make sure when he may come back, or what he may find when he comes back.
-I was sorry, for I knew a hundred things might happen to detain, or keep
-him silent; and Nelly’s heart was caught, I could see. She had been
-quite unsuspecting, unfearing; and it was gone ere she understood what
-she was doing. My heart quaked a little for her; not with any fear of
-the result, but only with a certain throbbing of experience and anxiety
-that springs therefrom. Experience does not produce hope in the things
-of this world. It lays one’s heart open to suspicions and fears which
-never trouble the innocent. It was not because of anything I had seen in
-Llewellyn; but because I had seen a great deal of the world, and things
-in general. This was why I kissed her with a little extra meaning, and
-told her to lie down on the sofa when she got home.
-
-‘You have not been looking your best for some days,’ I said. ‘You are
-not a giantess, nor so robust as you pretend to be. You must take care
-of yourself.’ And Nelly, though she made no reply, kissed me in her
-clinging way in return.
-
-Some weeks passed after that without any particular incident. Things
-went on in their usual way, and though we were all sorry that Llewellyn
-was gone, we made no particular moan over him after the first. It was
-very rarely that a day passed on which I did not see the sisters; but
-the weather was beginning to get cold, and one Friday there was a fog
-which prevented me from going out. Ours is a low country, with a great
-many trees, and the river is not far off; and when there is a fog, it is
-very dreary and overwhelming. It closes in over the Green, so that you
-cannot see an inch before you; and the damp creeps into your very bones:
-though it was only the end of October, the trees hung invisible over our
-heads in heavy masses, now and then dropping a faded leaf out of the fog
-in a ghostly, silent way: and the chill went to one’s heart. I had a new
-book, for which I was very thankful, and my fire burned brightly, and I
-did not stir out of doors all day. I confess it surprised me a little
-that the girls did not come in to me in the evening, as they had a way
-of doing, with their red cloaks round them, and the hoods over their
-heads, like Red Riding Hood. But I took it for granted they had some
-friends from town, or something pleasant on hand; though I had not heard
-any carriage driving up. As for seeing, that was impossible. Next
-morning, by a pleasant change, was bright, sunny, and frosty. For the
-first time that season, the hedges and gardens, and even the Green
-itself, was crisp and white with hoar-frost, which, of course, did not
-last, but gave us warning of winter. When I went out, I met Nelly just
-leaving her own door. She was in her red cloak, with her dress tucked
-up, and the little black hat with the red feather, which was always so
-becoming to her. But either it was not becoming that day, or there was
-something the matter with the child. I don’t remember whether I have
-said that she had large eyes--eyes that, when she was thinner than
-usual, or ill, looked out of proportion to the size of her face. They
-had this effect upon me that day. One did not seem to see Nelly at all;
-but only a big pair of wistful, soft eyes looking at one, with shadowy
-lines round them. I was alarmed, to tell the truth, whenever I saw her.
-Either something had happened, or the child was ill.
-
-‘Good morning, my dear,’ I said, ‘I did not see you all yesterday, and
-it feels like a year. Were you coming to me now?’
-
-‘No,’ said Nelly--and even in the sound of her voice there was something
-changed--‘it is so long since I have been in the village. I had settled
-to go down there this morning, and take poor Mary Jackson some warm
-socks we have been knitting for the babies. It is so cold to-day.’
-
-‘I thought you never felt the cold,’ said I, as one does without
-thinking. ‘You are always as merry as a cricket in the winter weather,
-when we are all shivering. You know you never feel the cold.’
-
-‘No,’ said Nelly again. ‘I suppose it is only the first chill’--and she
-gave me a strange little sick smile, and suddenly looked down and
-stooped to pick up something. I saw in a moment there was nothing to
-pick up. Could it be that there were tears in her eyes, which she wanted
-to hide? ‘But I must go now,’ she went on hurriedly. ‘Oh, no, don’t
-think of coming with me; it is too cold, and I shall have to walk fast,
-I am in such a hurry. Good-bye.’
-
-I could do nothing but stand and stare after her when she had gone on.
-What did it mean? Nelly was not given to taking fancies, or losing her
-temper--at least not in this way. She walked away so rapidly that she
-seemed to vanish out of my sight, and never once looked round or turned
-aside for anything. The surprise was so great that I actually forgot
-where I was going. It could not be for nothing that she had changed like
-this. I went back to my own door, and then I came out again and opened
-the Admiral’s gate. Probably Martha was at home, and would know what was
-the matter. As I was going in, Martha met me coming out. She was in her
-red cloak, like Nelly, and she had a letter in her hand. When she saw me
-she laughed, and blushed a little. ‘Will you come with me to the post,
-Mrs. Mulgrave?’ she said. ‘Sister would not wait for me; and when one
-has an important letter to post----’ Martha went on, holding it up to
-me, and laughing and blushing again.
-
-‘What makes it so very important?’ said I; and I confess that I tried
-very hard to make out the address.
-
-‘Oh, didn’t she tell you?’ said Martha. ‘What a funny girl she is! If it
-had been me I should have rushed all over the Green, and told everybody.
-It is--can’t you guess?’
-
-And she held out to me the letter in her hand. It was addressed to
-‘Captain Llewellyn, H.M.S. _Spitfire_, Portsmouth.’ I looked at it, and
-I looked at her, and wonder took possession of me. The address was in
-Martha’s handwriting. It was she who was going to post it; it was she
-who, conscious and triumphant, giggling a little and blushing a little,
-stood waiting for my congratulations. I looked at her aghast, and my
-tongue failed me. ‘I don’t know what it means,’ I said, gasping. ‘I
-can’t guess. Is it you who have been writing to Captain Llewellyn, or is
-it Nelly, or who is it? Can there have been any mistake?’
-
-Martha was offended, as indeed she had reason to be. ‘There is no
-mistake,’ she said indignantly. ‘It is a very strange sort of thing to
-say, when any friend, any acquaintance even, would have congratulated
-me. And you who know us so well! Captain Llewellyn has asked me to marry
-him--that is all. I thought you might have found out what was coming.
-But you have no eyes for anybody but Sister. You never think of me.’
-
-‘I beg your pardon,’ said I, faltering; ‘I was so much taken by
-surprise. I am sure I wish you every happiness, Martha. Nobody can be
-more anxious for your welfare than I am--’ and here I stopped short in
-my confusion, choked by the words, and not knowing what to say.
-
-‘Yes, I am sure of that,’ said Martha affectionately, stopping at the
-gate to give me a kiss. ‘I said so to Sister this morning. I said I am
-sure Mrs. Mulgrave will be pleased. But are you _really_ so much
-surprised? Did you never think this was how it was to be?’
-
-‘No,’ I said, trembling in spite of myself; ‘I never thought of it. I
-thought indeed--but that makes no difference now.’
-
-‘What did you think?’ said Martha; and then her private sense of pride
-and pleasure surmounted everything else. ‘Well, you see it is so,’ she
-said, with a beaming smile. ‘He kept his own counsel, you see. I should
-not have thought he was so sly--should you? I dare say he thinks he
-showed it more than he did; for he says I must have seen how it was from
-the first day.’
-
-And she stood before me so beaming, so dimpling over with smiles and
-pleasure, that my heart sank within me. Could it be a mistake, or was it
-I--ah! how little it mattered for me--was it my poor Nelly who had been
-deceived?
-
-‘And did you?’ I said, looking into her face, ‘did you see it from the
-first day?’
-
-‘Well, n-no,’ said Martha, hesitating; and then she resumed with a
-laugh, ‘That shows you how sly he must have been. I don’t think I ever
-suspected such a thing; but then, to be sure, I never thought much about
-him, you know.’
-
-A little gleam of comfort came into my heart as she spoke. ‘Oh, then,’ I
-said, relieved, ‘there is no occasion for congratulations after all.’
-
-‘Why is there no occasion for congratulations?’ said Martha. ‘Of course
-there is occasion. I wanted Sister to run in and tell you last night,
-but she wouldn’t; and I rather wanted you to tell me what I should say,
-or, rather, how I should say it; but I managed it after all by myself. I
-suppose one always can if one tries. It comes by nature, people say.’
-And Martha laughed again, and blushed, and cast a proud glance on the
-letter she held in her hand.
-
-‘But if you never had thought of him yesterday,’ said I, ‘you can’t have
-accepted him to-day.’
-
-‘Why not?’ said Martha, with a toss of her pretty head--and she was
-pretty, especially in that moment of excitement. I could not refuse to
-see it. It was a mere piece of pink-and-white prettiness, instead of my
-little nut-brown maid, with her soft eyes, and her bright varied gleams
-of feeling and intelligence. But then you can never calculate on what a
-man may think in respect to a girl. Men are such fools; I mean where
-women are concerned.
-
-‘Why not?’ said Martha, with a laugh. ‘I don’t mean I am frantically in
-love with him, you know. How could I be, when I never knew he cared for
-me? But I always said he was very nice; and then it is so suitable. And
-I don’t care for anybody else. It would be very foolish of me to refuse
-him without any reason. Of course,’ said Martha, looking down upon her
-letter, ‘I shall think of him very differently now.’
-
-What could I say? I was at my wits’ end. I walked on by her side to the
-post-office in a maze of confusion and doubt. I could have snatched the
-letter out of her hand, and torn it into a hundred pieces; but that
-would have done little good; and how could I tell if it was a mistake
-after all? He might have sought Nelly for her sister’s sake. He might
-have been such a fool, such a dolt, as to prefer Martha. All this time
-he might but have been making his advances to her covertly--under shield
-as it were of the gay bright creature who was too young and too
-simple-hearted to understand such devices. Oh, my little nut-brown maid!
-no wonder her eyes were so large and shadowy, her pretty cheeks so
-colourless! I could have cried with vexation and despair as I went along
-step for step with the other on the quiet country road. Though she was
-so far from being bright, Martha at last was struck by my silence. It
-took her a considerable time to find it out, for naturally her own
-thoughts were many, and her mind was fully pre-occupied; but she did
-perceive it at last.
-
-‘I don’t think you seem to like it, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said; ‘not so
-much as I thought you would. You were the very first person I thought
-of; I was coming to tell you when I met you. And I thought you would
-sympathize with me and be so pleased to hear----’
-
-‘My dear,’ said I, ‘I am pleased to hear--anything that is for your
-happiness; but then I am so much surprised. It was not what I looked
-for. And then, good heavens! if it should turn out to be some
-mistake----’
-
-‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said Martha angrily, ‘I don’t know what you can mean.
-This is the second time you have talked of a mistake. What mistake could
-there be? I suppose Captain Llewellyn knows what he is doing: unless you
-want to be unkind and cross. And what have I done that you should be so
-disagreeable to me?’
-
-‘Oh, my dear child!’ I cried in despair, ‘I don’t know what I mean; I
-thought once--there was Major Frost, you know----’
-
-‘Oh, is it that?’ said Martha, restored to perfect good-humour; ‘poor
-Major Frost! But of course if he did not choose to come forward in time,
-he could not expect me to wait for him. You may make your mind quite
-easy if that is all.’
-
-‘And then,’ I said, taking a little courage, ‘Captain Llewellyn paid
-Nelly a good deal of attention. He might have thought----’
-
-‘Yes,’ said Martha, ‘to be sure; and I never once suspected that he
-meant it for me all the time.’
-
-I ask anybody who is competent to judge, could I have said any more? I
-walked to the post-office with her, and I saw the letter put in. And an
-hour afterwards I saw the mail-cart rattling past with the bags, and
-knew it had set out to its destination. He would get it next morning,
-and the two lives would be bound for ever and ever. The wrong two?--or
-was it only we, Nelly and I, who had made the mistake? Had it been
-Martha he sought all the time?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-The news soon became known to everybody on the Green, and great surprise
-was excited by it. Everybody, I think, spoke to me on the subject. They
-said, ‘If it had been the other sister!’ Even Lady Denzil went so far as
-to say this, when, after having called at the Admiral’s to offer her
-congratulations, she came in to see me. ‘I do not pretend that I like
-the marriage,’ she said, with a little solemnity. ‘There were claims
-upon him nearer home. It is not every man that is at liberty to choose
-for himself; but if it had been the little one I could have understood
-it.’ I hope nobody spoke like this to Nelly; she kept up a great deal
-too well to satisfy me. She was in the very centre of all the flutter
-that such an event makes in a small society like ours, and she knew
-people were watching her; but she never betrayed herself. She had lost
-her colour somehow--everybody remarked that; and the proud little girl
-got up a succession of maladies, and said she had influenza and
-indigestion, and I know not what, that nobody might suspect any other
-cause. Sometimes I caught her for one instant off her guard, but it was
-a thing that happened very rarely. Two or three times I met her going
-off by herself for a long walk, and she would not have my company when I
-offered to go with her. ‘I walk so fast,’ she said, ‘and then it is too
-far for you.’ Once I even saw her in the spot to which all our walks
-tended--the Dingle, which was our favourite haunt. It was a glorious
-autumn, and the fine weather lasted long--much longer than usual. Up to
-the middle of November there were still masses of gorgeous foliage on
-the trees, and the sky was as blue--not as Italy, for Italy is soft and
-languorous and melting--but as an English sky without clouds, full of
-sunshine, yet clear, with a premonitory touch of frost, can be. The
-trees in the Dingle are no common trees; they are giant beeches,
-big-boled, heavily-clothed giants, that redden and crisp and hold their
-own until the latest moment; and that mount up upon heights, and descend
-into hollows, and open up here and there into gleams of the fair plain
-around, growing misty in the distance as if it were sea. The great point
-in the landscape is a royal castle, the noblest dwelling-place I ever
-saw. We who live so near are learned in the different points of view; we
-know where to catch it shining like a fairy stronghold in the white hazy
-country, or stretching out in gray profile upon its height, or setting
-itself--here the great donjon, there a flanking tower--in frames of
-leafy branches. I had left my little carriage and my stout old pony on
-the road, and had wandered up alone to have my last peep before winter
-set in, when suddenly I saw Nelly before me. She was walking up and down
-on the soft yielding mossy grass, carpeted with beech-mast and
-pine-needles; sometimes stopping to gaze blankly at the view--at the
-great plain whitening off to the horizon, and the castle rising in the
-midst. I knew what the view was, but I saw also that she did not see it.
-Her face was all drawn together, small and shrunken up. There were deep
-shadowy lines round her eyes; and as for the eyes themselves, it was
-them and not Nelly that I saw. They were dilated, almost exaggerated,
-unlike anything I ever saw before. She had come out here to be alone,
-poor child! I crept away as best I could through the brown crackling
-ferns. If she heard anything probably she thought it was some woodland
-creature that could not spy upon her. But I don’t believe she heard
-anything, nor saw anything; and I was no spy upon her, dear heart!
-
-The nearest we ever came to conversation on the subject was once when I
-was telling her about a girl I once knew, whose story had been a very
-sad one. She had pledged her heart and her life to a foolish young
-fellow, who was very fond of her, and then was very fond of somebody
-else; and would have been fond of her again, periodically, to any number
-of times. She had borne it as long as she could, and then she had broken
-down; and it had been a relief to her, poor girl, to come and cry her
-heart out to me.
-
-‘It has never been my way, Nelly,’ I said, ‘but it seems to ease the
-heart when it can speak. I don’t think that I could have spoken to any
-one, had it been me.’
-
-‘And as for me,’ cried Nelly, ‘if I should ever be like that--and if any
-one, even you, were so much as to look at me as if you knew, I think I
-should die!’
-
-This was before the lamp was lighted; and in the dark, I think she put
-up a hand to wipe off something from her eyelash. But you may be sure I
-took care not to look. I tried to put all speculation out of my eyes
-whenever I looked at her afterwards. My poor Nelly! in the very
-extravagance of her pride was there not an appeal, and piteous throwing
-of herself upon my forbearance? I thought there was, and it went to my
-heart.
-
-The next thing, of course, was that Llewellyn announced himself as
-coming to visit his betrothed. He was to come at Christmas, not being
-able to leave his ship before. And then it was to be settled when the
-marriage should take place. I confess that I listened to all this with a
-very bad grace. Any reference to the marriage put me out of temper. He
-wrote to her regularly and very often, and Martha used to read his
-letters complacently before us all, and communicate little bits out of
-them, and spend half her mornings writing her replies. She was not a
-ready writer, and it really was hard work to her, and improved her
-education--at least in the mechanical matters of writing and spelling.
-But I wonder what sort of rubbish it was she wrote to him, and what he
-thought of it. Was it possible he could suppose it was my Nelly who
-wrote all those commonplaces, or was the mistake on my part, not on his?
-As time went on, I came to think, more and more, that the latter was
-the case. We had been deceived, Nelly and I. And Martha and Llewellyn
-were two lovers worthy of each other. I fear I was not very charitable
-to him in my thoughts.
-
-But I could not help being very nervous the day of his arrival. It was a
-bleak wintry day, Christmas Eve, but not what people call Christmas
-weather. It rarely is Christmas weather at Christmas. The sky hung low
-and leaden over our bare trees, and of course there were no cricketers
-now on the Green, nor sound of croquet balls, to enliven the stillness.
-I could not rest at home. We had not been informed what train Captain
-Llewellyn was to come by, and my mind was in such a disturbed state,
-that I kept coming and going, all day long, on one errand or another,
-lingering about the road. I don’t myself know what I meant by it; nor
-could I have explained it to anybody. Sometimes I thought, if I should
-meet him first, I would speak and make sure. Sometimes I fancied that I
-could read in his face, at the first look, what it all meant. But,
-anyhow, I did not meet him. I thought all the trains were in when I went
-to the Admiral’s in the afternoon, at five o’clock--that is, all the
-trains that could arrive before dinner, for we were two miles from the
-station. Martha and her father were in the drawing-room when I entered.
-There was a bright fire, but the candles were not lighted; I suppose,
-out of reluctance to shut up the house, and close all the windows,
-before the visitor came. Martha was sitting by the fire looking very gay
-and bright, and a little excited. She told me Nelly had been all day in
-the church, helping with the decorations, and that she was to stay at
-the rectory to dinner, as there was a Christmas-tree for the
-school-children to be got ready. ‘I dare say she thought we should not
-want her this first evening,’ Martha said with a little laugh; and such
-was the bitterness and unreasonableness of my heart that I was
-speechless with exasperation; which was nonsense, for of course she had
-a right to the society of her betrothed. While we were sitting thus over
-the fire, all at once there came a sound of wheels, and the dog-cart
-from the little inn at Dinglefield Station came rattling up. Martha gave
-a little cry, and ran to the drawing-room door. I know I should have
-gone away, but I did not. I stood behind in the ruddy gloom, and saw her
-rush into Llewellyn’s arms. And he kissed her. And the next moment they
-were back in the room beside us, she chatting about his journey, and
-looking up in his face, and showing her satisfaction and delight, as it
-was quite natural she should do. It seemed to me that he did not make
-very much reply; but the room was dark, and his arrival was sudden, and
-there was a certain confusion about everything. The Admiral came
-forward, and shook hands with him, and so did I; and instead of looking
-as if he wished us a hundred miles off, Llewellyn kept peering into the
-corners, as if he wanted another greeting. Then he came to the fire, and
-stood before it, making the room all the darker with his shadow; and
-after we had all asked him if he had felt the cold on his journey, there
-did not seem very much to say. I don’t know how the others felt, but I
-know my heart began to beat wildly. Martha was in an unnatural state of
-excitement. She drew a great comfortable easy-chair to the fire for him.
-‘Dear Ellis, sit down,’ she said, laying her hand softly on his arm. The
-touch seemed to wake him up out of a kind of reverie. He took her hand,
-and held it for a moment, and then let it fall.
-
-‘You are far too kind,’ he said, ‘to take so much trouble for me. A
-thousand thanks. Where is--your sister? She knew I was to come by this
-train.’
-
-‘No, I don’t think Sister knew,’ said Martha; ‘that was my little
-secret. I would not tell them what train you were coming by. She is
-helping with the church decorations. She will see you to-morrow, you
-know. I wish they would bring the tea: papa, will you ring?--Oh, papa
-has gone away. Wait a minute, Ellis dear, and I will run and make them
-bring it immediately. It will warm you better than anything else. I
-sha’n’t be a moment gone.’
-
-The moment she had left us poor Llewellyn turned to me. Notwithstanding
-the ruddy firelight, I could see he was quite haggard with the awful
-suspicion that must have flashed upon him. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave!’ he cried
-hurriedly, holding out his hands, ‘for God’s sake, tell me, what does
-this mean?’
-
-‘It means that you have come to see your betrothed, Captain Llewellyn,’
-said I; ‘she has just gone out of the room. You made your choice, and I
-hope you did not expect to have both the sisters. Martha stayed to
-receive you, as was right and natural. You could not expect the same
-from Nelly. She thought neither of you would want a third to-night.’
-
-I was so angry that I said all this in a breath. I know I ought to be
-ashamed of myself, but I did it; I don’t think however that he heard
-half. He covered his face with his hands and gave a groan, which seemed
-to me to echo all through the house; and I had to add on to what I was
-saying, ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, restrain yourself,’ I cried, without
-even taking breath; ‘now it is too late!’
-
-And then Martha came in, excited and joyous, half dancing with high
-spirits. I could have groaned too and hid my face from the light as he
-did, poor fellow! but she went up to him and drew down his hands
-playfully and said, ‘I am here, Ellis, you needn’t cover your eyes.’ He
-did not answer her with a compliment or a caress, as perhaps she
-expected; and Martha looked at me where I was standing by the side of
-the fire. I knew she thought I was the restraining influence that closed
-his mouth and subdued his joy--and what could I do?--I went away: I
-could be of no use to him, poor boy! He must face it now as best he
-could. I went away, and as soon as I got safely into my own house sat
-down and cried. Not that crying would do any good; but when everything
-is going wrong, and everybody is on the way to ruin and you see how it
-is, and know how to mend it, and yet cannot, dare not, put forth a hand,
-what can any one do but sit down and cry?
-
-But I could not rest in my quiet, comfortable, lonely house, and know
-that those poor young hearts were being wrung, and keep still and take
-no notice. I had my cup of tea, and I put on my warm cloak and hood and
-went across the Green, though it was wet and slippery, to the
-school-room, where I knew Nelly would be. She was in the midst of a heap
-of toys and paper-flags and little tapers, dressing up the
-Christmas-tree. There were three or four girls altogether, and Nelly was
-the busiest of all. Her little hands were pricked and scratched with the
-points of the holly and the sharp needles of the little fir-tree on
-which she was working. Poor child! I wish it had been her hands only
-that were wounded. The others had gloves on, but Nelly had taken hers
-off, either because she found the pain of the pricks good for her, or
-because of some emblematical meaning in it. ‘I can’t work in gloves,’
-she said carelessly, ‘and it doesn’t hurt so much when you are used to
-it.’ When I saw her I could not but think of the pictures of Indians
-tied to the stake, with arrows flying at them from all quarters. I am
-aware St. Sebastian was killed in the same way--but I did not think of
-him.
-
-‘I wish you would come with me, Nelly,’ I said; ‘you know Christmas Eve
-is never very merry to me. There is no dinner, but you shall have
-something with your tea.’
-
-‘I am going to the rectory,’ said Nelly. She did not venture to look at
-me, and she spoke very quick, with a kind of catch in her breath. ‘I
-promised--and there is a great deal to do yet. When Christmas is not
-merry it is best to try and forget it is Christmas. If I were to go with
-you, you would talk to me, and that would make you feel everything the
-more.’
-
-‘I would not talk--you may trust me, Nelly,’ I said eagerly. In my
-excitement I was for one minute off my guard.
-
-She gave me one look and then turned away, and began arranging the flags
-and pricking her poor little soft fingers. ‘Talking does not matter to
-me,’ she said in her careless way. Her pride was something that filled
-me with consternation. She would not yield, not if she had been cut in
-little pieces. Her heart was being torn out of her very breast, and she
-was ready to look her executioners in the face and cheer them on.
-
-I don’t know how they all got through that evening. Nelly, I know, went
-home late and went to her own room at once, as being tired. It was poor
-Llewellyn that was the most to be pitied. I could not get him out of my
-mind. I sat and thought and thought over it till I could scarcely rest.
-Would he have the courage to emancipate himself and tell the truth? Or
-would the dreadful coil of circumstances in which he had got involved
-overcome him and subdue his spirit? I asked myself this question till it
-made me sick and faint. How was he to turn upon the girl who was
-hanging on him so proud and pleased and confident, and say that he had
-never cared for her and never sought her? There are men who would have
-the nerve to do that; but my poor simple, tender-hearted sailor--who
-would not hurt a fly, and who had no warning nor preparation for the
-fate that was coming on him--I could not hope that he would be so brave.
-
-I saw by my first glance next morning at church that he had not been
-brave. He was seated by Martha’s side, looking pale and haggard and
-stern; such a contrast to her lively and demonstrative happiness. Nelly
-was at the other end of the pew under her father’s shadow. I don’t know
-what she had done to herself--either it was excitement, or in her pride
-she had had recourse to artificial aids. She had recovered her colour as
-if by a miracle. I am afraid that I did not pay so much attention to the
-service as I ought to have done. My whole thoughts were bent upon the
-Admiral’s seat, where there were two people quite serene and
-comfortable, and two in the depths of misery and despair. There were
-moments when I felt as if I could have got up in church and protested
-against it in the sight of God. One feels as if one could do that: but
-one keeps still and does nothing all the same.
-
-In the afternoon Llewellyn came to see me. He would have done it anyhow,
-I feel sure, for he had a good heart. But there was a stronger reason
-still that Christmas Day. He did not say much to me when he came. He
-walked about my drawing-room and looked at all the ornaments on the
-tables, and opened the books, and examined my Christmas presents. Then
-he came and sat down beside me before the fire. He tried to talk, and
-then he broke off and leant his face between his hands. It was again a
-gray, dark, sunless day; and it was all the darker in my room because of
-the verandah over the windows, which makes it so pleasant in summer. I
-could see his profile darkly before me as he made an attempt at
-conversation, not looking at me, but staring into the fire; and then,
-all at once, his shoulders went up, and his face disappeared in the
-shadow of his hands. He stared into the fire still, under that shelter;
-but he felt himself safe from my inspection, poor fellow!
-
-‘I ought to beg your pardon,’ he said, suddenly, concentrating all his
-attention upon the glowing embers, ‘for speaking as I did--last
-night----’
-
-‘There was nothing to pardon,’ said I. And then we came to an
-embarrassed pause, for I did not know which was best--to speak, or to be
-silent.
-
-‘I know I was very abrupt,’ he said, ‘I was rude. I hope you will
-forgive me. It was the surprise.’ And then he gave vent to something
-between a cry and a groan. ‘What is to become of us all, good God!’ he
-muttered. It was all I could do to hear him, and the exclamation did not
-sound to me profane.
-
-‘Captain Llewellyn,’ I said, ‘I don’t know whether I ought to say
-anything, or whether I should hold my tongue. I understand it all; and I
-feel for you with all my heart.’
-
-‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said; ‘it doesn’t matter. Feeling is of no use.
-But there is one thing you could tell me. She--you know--I can’t call
-her by any name--I don’t seem to know her name--Just tell me one thing,
-and I’ll try and bear it. Did she mind? Does she think me----? Good
-heavens! what does it matter what any one thinks? If you are sure it did
-not hurt her, I--don’t mind.’
-
-‘N--no,’ said I; but I don’t think he got any comfort from my tone. ‘You
-may be sure it will not hurt her,’ I went on, summoning up all my pride.
-‘She is not the sort of girl to let it hurt her.’ I spoke indignantly,
-for I did not know what was coming. He seized my hand, poor boy, and
-wrung it till I could have screamed; and then he broke down, as a man
-does when he has come to the last point of wretchedness: two or three
-hoarse sobs burst from him. ‘God bless her!’ he cried.
-
-I was wound up to such a pitch that I could not sit still. I got up and
-grasped his shoulder. In my excitement I did not know what I was doing.
-
-‘Are you going to bear it?’ I said. ‘Do you mean to let it go on? It is
-a lie; and are you going to set it up for the truth? Oh, Captain
-Llewellyn! is it possible that you mean to let it go on?’
-
-Then he gave me one sorrowful look, and shook his head. ‘I have accepted
-it,’ he said. ‘It is too late. You said so last night.’
-
-I knew I had said so; but things somehow looked different now. ‘I would
-speak to Martha herself,’ said I. And I saw he shuddered at her name. ‘I
-would speak to her father. The Admiral is sensible and kind. He will
-know what to do.’
-
-‘He will think I mean to insult them,’ said Llewellyn, shaking his head.
-‘I have done harm enough. How was I to know? But never mind--never mind.
-It is my own doing, and I must bear it.’ Then he rose up suddenly, and
-turned to me with a wan kind of smile. ‘I cannot afford to indulge
-myself with talk,’ he said. ‘Good-bye, and thanks. I don’t feel as if I
-cared much now what happened. The only thing is, I can’t stay here.’
-
-‘But you must stay a week--you must stay over Christmas,’ I cried, as he
-stood holding my hand.
-
-‘Yes,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I must get through to-night. If you’d keep
-her out of the way, Mrs. Mulgrave, it would be the kindest thing you
-could do. I can’t look at her. It kills me. But I’ll be summoned by
-telegram to-morrow,’ he added, with a kind of desperate satisfaction. ‘I
-wrote this morning.’ And then he shook hands with me hurriedly, and went
-away.
-
-I had very little trouble to keep Nelly--poor Nelly!--out of his way.
-She made me go up-stairs with her after dinner (I always dined there on
-Christmas) to show me the presents she had got, and the things she had
-prepared for her pensioners in the village. We made a great pet of the
-village, we people who lived on the Green, and, I fear, rather spoiled
-it. There were things for the babies, and things for the old women,
-which were to be bestowed next day when they all came to the school-room
-for the Christmas-tree. She never mentioned Llewellyn to me, nor Martha,
-nor referred to the domestic event which, in other circumstances, would
-have occupied her mind above all. I almost wonder it did not occur to
-her that to speak of, and show an interest in, her sister’s engagement
-was quite a necessary part of her own self-defence. Either it was too
-much, and she could not, or it did not enter into her mind. She never
-took any notice of it, at least to me. She never so much as mentioned
-his name. They never looked at each other, nor addressed each other,
-though I could see that every look and movement of one was visible to
-the other. Nelly kept me up-stairs until it was time for me to go home.
-She came running out with me, with her red cloak round her, when the
-Admiral marched to the gate to see me home, as he made a rule of doing.
-She stood at the gate, in the foggy, wintry darkness, to wait for him
-until he came back from my door. And I waited on my own threshold, and
-saw them going back--Nelly, poor child, clinging fast to her father’s
-arm. My heart ached; and yet not so much even for her as for the other.
-What was he doing indoors, left alone with the girl he was engaged to,
-and did not love?
-
-Next morning, to the astonishment and dismay of everybody but myself,
-Captain Llewellyn was summoned back to his ship by telegraph. Martha was
-more excited about it than I should have supposed possible. It was so
-hard upon poor dear Ellis, she said, before they had been able to
-arrange anything, or even to talk of anything. She had not the slightest
-doubt of him. His wretched looks, and his hesitation and coldness, had
-taught nothing to Martha. If she was perhaps disappointed at first by
-his want of ardour, the disappointment had soon passed. It was his way;
-he was not the sort of man to make a fuss. By this means she quite
-accounted for it to herself. For my own part, I cannot say that I was
-satisfied with his conduct. If he had put a stop to it boldly--if he had
-said at once it was all a mistake--then, whatever had come of it, I
-could have supported and sympathized with him; but it made an end of
-Captain Llewellyn, as a man, in my estimation, when he thus ran away. I
-was vexed, and I was sorry; and yet I cannot say I was surprised.
-
-He wrote afterwards to say it was important business, and that he had no
-hope of being able to come back. And then he wrote that he had been
-transferred to another ship just put into commission, and had to sail at
-once. He could not even come to wish his betrothed good-bye. He assured
-her it could not be for long, as their orders were only for the
-Mediterranean; but it was a curious reversal of all their former ideas.
-‘He must retire,’ Martha said, when she had told me this news with
-tears. ‘The idea of a man with a good property of his own being ordered
-about like that! Papa says things have changed since his days; he never
-heard of anything so arbitrary. After all he said about our marriage
-taking place first, to think that he should have to go away now, without
-a moment to say good-bye!’
-
-And she cried and dried her eyes, while I sat by and felt myself a
-conspirator, and was very uncomfortable. Nelly was present too. She sat
-working in the window, with her head turned away from us, and took no
-part in the conversation. Perhaps it was a relief; perhaps--and this was
-what she herself thought--it would have been better to have got it over
-at once. Anyhow, at this present juncture, she sat apart, and took no
-apparent notice of what we said.
-
-‘And Nelly never says a word,’ sobbed Martha. ‘She has no sympathy. I
-think she hates poor dear Ellis. She scarcely looked at him when he was
-here. And she won’t say she is sorry now.’
-
-‘When everybody is sorry what does it matter if I say it or not?’ said
-Nelly, casting one rapid glance from her work. She never was so fond of
-her work before. Now she had become all at once a model girl: she never
-was idle for a moment; one kind of occupation or another was constantly
-in her hands. She sat at her knitting, while Martha, disappointed and
-vexed, cried and folded up her letter. I don’t know whether an inkling
-of the truth had come to Nelly’s mind. Sometimes I thought so. When the
-time approached which Llewellyn had indicated as the probable period of
-his return, she herself proposed that she should go on a visit to her
-godmother in Devonshire. It was spring then, and she had a cough; and
-there were very good reasons why she should go. The only one that
-opposed it was Martha. ‘It will look so unkind to dear Ellis,’ she said;
-‘as if you would rather not meet him. At Christmas you were out all the
-time. And if she dislikes him, Mrs. Mulgrave, she ought to try to get
-over it. Don’t you think so? It is unkind to go away.’
-
-‘She does not dislike him,’ said I. ‘But she wants a change, my dear.’
-And so we all said. The Admiral, good man, did not understand it at all.
-He saw that something was wrong. ‘There is something on the little one’s
-mind,’ he said to me. ‘I hoped she would have taken you into her
-confidence. I can’t tell what is wrong with her, for my part.’
-
-‘She wants a change,’ said I. ‘She has never said anything to me.’
-
-It was quite true; she had never said a word to me. I might have
-betrayed Llewellyn, but I could not betray Nelly. She had kept her own
-counsel. While the Admiral was talking to me, I cannot describe how
-strong the temptation was upon me to tell him all the story. But I dared
-not. It was a thing from which the boldest might have shrunk. And though
-everybody on the Green had begun to wonder vaguely, and the Admiral
-himself was a little uneasy, Martha never suspected anything amiss. She
-cried a little when ‘poor Ellis’ wrote to say his return was again
-postponed; but it was for his disappointment she cried. Half an hour
-after she was quite serene and cheerful again, looking forward to the
-time when he should arrive eventually. ‘For he must come some time, you
-know; they can’t keep him away for ever,’ she said; until one did not
-know whether to be impatient with her serenity, or touched by it, and
-could not make up one’s mind whether it was stupidity or faith.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-Nelly paid her visit to her godmother, and came back; and spring wore
-into summer, and the trees were all in full foliage again in the Dingle,
-and the cricketers had returned to the Green; but still Captain
-Llewellyn was unaccountably detained. Nelly had come home looking much
-better than when she went away. His name still disturbed her composure I
-could see; though I don’t suppose a stranger who knew nothing of the
-circumstances would have found it out. And when Martha threatened us
-with a visit from him, her sister shrank up into herself; but otherwise
-Nelly was much improved. She recovered her cheerful ways; she became the
-soul of all our friendly parties again. I said to myself that I had been
-a truer prophet than I had the least hope of; and that she was not the
-sort of girl to let herself be crushed in any such way. But she never
-spoke to me of her sister’s marriage, nor of her sister’s betrothed. I
-mentioned the matter one day when we were alone, cruelly and of set
-purpose to see what she would say. ‘When your sister is married, and
-when you are married,’ I said, ‘it will be very dull both for the
-Admiral and me.’
-
-‘I shall never marry,’ said Nelly, with a sudden closing up and veiling
-of all her brightness which was more expressive than words. ‘I don’t
-know about Sister; but you need not weave any such visions for me.’
-
-‘All girls say so till their time comes,’ said I, with an attempt to be
-playful; ‘but why do you say you don’t know about Martha? she must be
-married before long, of course?’
-
-‘I suppose so,’ said Nelly, and then she stopped short; she would not
-add another word; but afterwards, when we were all together, she broke
-out suddenly--Martha’s conversation at this period was very much
-occupied with her marriage. I suppose it was quite natural. In my young
-days girls were shy of talking much on that subject, but things are
-changed now. Martha talked of it continually: of when dear Ellis would
-come; of his probable desire that the wedding should take place at once;
-of her determination to have two months at least to prepare her
-trousseau; of where they should go after the marriage. She discussed
-everything, without the smallest idea, poor girl, of what was passing in
-the minds of the listeners. At last, after hearing a great deal of this
-for a long time, Nelly suddenly burst forth--
-
-‘How strange it would be after all, if we were to turn out a couple of
-old maids,’ she cried, ‘and never to marry at all. The two old sisters!
-with chairs on each side of the fire, and great authorities in the
-village. How droll it would be!--and not so very unlikely after all.’
-
-‘Speak for yourself,’ cried Martha indignantly. ‘It is very unlikely so
-far as I am concerned. I am as good as married already. As for you, you
-can do what you please----’
-
-‘Yes, I can do what I please,’ said Nelly, with a curious ring in her
-voice; and then she added, ‘But I should not wonder if we were both old
-maids after all.’
-
-‘She is very queer,’ Martha said to me when her sister had left the
-room, in an aggrieved tone. ‘She does not mean it, of course; but I
-don’t like it, Mrs. Mulgrave. It does not seem lucky. Why should she
-take it into her head about our being old maids? I am as good as married
-now.’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said vaguely. I could not give any assent more cordial. And
-then she resumed her anticipations. But I saw in a moment what Nelly
-meant. This was how she thought it was to end. It was a romantic girl’s
-notion, but happily she was too young to think how unlikely it was. No
-doubt she saw a vision of the two maiden sisters, and of one who would
-be their devoted friend, but who could never marry either. That was the
-explanation she had put in her heart upon his abrupt departure and his
-many delays. He had made a fatal mistake, and its consequences were to
-last all his life. They were all three, all their lives long, to
-continue in the same mind. He could never marry either of them; and
-neither of them, none of the three, were ever to be tempted to marry
-another. And thus, in a pathetic climax of faithfulness and delicate
-self-sacrifice, they were to grow old and die. Nelly was no longer
-miserable when she had framed this ideal in her mind. It seemed to her
-the most natural solution of the difficulty. The romance, instead of
-ending in a prosaic marriage, was to last all their lives. And the
-eldest of them, Llewellyn himself, was but seven-and-twenty! Poor Nelly
-thought it the most likely thing in the world.
-
-If she had consulted me, I could have told her of something much more
-likely--something which very soon dawned upon the minds of most people
-at Dinglefield Green. It was that a certain regiment had come back to
-the barracks which were not very far from our neighbourhood. Before
-Captain Llewellyn made his appearance among us, there had been a Major
-Frost who had ‘paid attention’ to Martha; and he did not seem at all
-disinclined to pay attention to her now that he had come back. Though he
-was told of her engagement, the information seemed to have very little
-effect upon him. He came over perpetually, and was always at hand to
-ride, or walk, or drive, or flirt, as the young ladies felt disposed.
-Before he had been back a fortnight it seemed to me that Martha had
-begun to talk less about dear Ellis. By degrees she came the length of
-confessing that dear Ellis wrote very seldom. I had found out that fact
-for myself, but she had never made any reference to it before. I watched
-her with an interest which surpassed every other interest in my life at
-that moment. I forgot even Nelly, and took no notice of her in
-comparison. The elder sister absorbed me altogether. By degrees she gave
-up talking of her marriage, and of her wedding-dress, and where they
-were to live; and she began to talk of Major Frost. He seemed always to
-be telling her something which she had to repeat; and he told her very
-private details, with which she could have nothing to do. He told her
-that he was much better off than when he was last at the Green. Somebody
-had died and had left him a great deal of money. He was thinking of
-leaving the army, and buying a place in our county, if possible. He
-asked Martha’s advice where he should go. ‘It is odd that he should tell
-you all this,’ I said to her one day, when she was re-confiding to me a
-great many of Major Frost’s personal affairs; and though she was not
-usually very quick of apprehension, something called upon Martha’s cheek
-the shadow of a blush.
-
-‘I think it is quite natural,’ she said; ‘we are such old friends; and
-then he knows I am engaged. I always thought he was very nice--didn’t
-you? I don’t think he will ever marry,’ Martha added, with a certain
-pathos. ‘He says he could never have married but one woman; and he can’t
-have her now. He was poor when he was last here you know.’
-
-‘And who was the woman he could have married?’ said I.
-
-‘Oh, of course I did not ask him,’ said Martha with modest
-consciousness. ‘Poor fellow! it would have been cruel to ask him. It is
-hard that he should have got his money just after I---- I mean after she
-was engaged.’
-
-‘It is hard that money should always be at the bottom of everything,’
-said I. And though it was the wish nearest to my heart that Martha
-should forget and give up Llewellyn, still I was angry with her for what
-she said. But that made no difference. She was not bright enough to know
-that her faith was wavering. She went on walking and talking with Major
-Frost, and boring us all with him and his confidences, till I, for one,
-was sick of his very name. But she meant no treachery; she never even
-thought of deserting her betrothed. Had any accident happened to bring
-him uppermost, she would have gone back to dear Ellis all the same. She
-was not faithless nor fickle, nor anything that was wicked: she was
-chiefly stupid, or, rather, I stolid. And to think the two were sisters!
-The Admiral was not very quick-sighted, but evidently he had begun to
-notice how things were going. He came to me one afternoon to consult me
-when both the girls were out. I suppose they were at croquet somewhere.
-We elders found that afternoon hour, when they were busy with the balls
-and mallets, a very handy time for consulting about anything which they
-were not intended to know.
-
-‘I think I ought to write to Llewellyn,’ he said. ‘Things are in a very
-unsatisfactory state. I am not satisfied that he was obliged to go away
-as he said. I think he might have come to see her had he tried. I have
-been consulting the little one about it, and she thinks with me.’
-
-‘What does she think?’ I asked with breathless interest, to the
-Admiral’s surprise.
-
-‘She thinks with me that things are in an unsatisfactory state,’ he said
-calmly; ‘that it would be far better to have it settled and over, one
-way or another. She is a very sensible little woman. I was just about to
-write to Llewellyn, but I thought it best to ask you first what your
-opinion was.’
-
-Should I speak and tell him all? Had I any right to tell him? The
-thought passed through my mind quick as lightning. I made a longer pause
-than I ought to have done; and then all I could find to say was:
-
-‘I think I should let things take their course if I were you.’
-
-‘What does that mean?’ said the Admiral quickly. ‘Take their course! I
-think it is my duty to write to him and let things be settled out of
-hand.’
-
-It was with this intention he left me. But he did not write, for the
-very next morning there came a letter from Llewellyn, not to Martha, but
-to her father, telling him that he was coming home. The ship had been
-paid off quite unexpectedly I heard afterwards. And I suppose that
-unless he had been courageous enough to give the true explanation of his
-conduct he had no resource but to come back. It was a curious, abrupt
-sort of letter. The young man’s conscience, I think, had pricked him for
-his cowardice in running away; and either he had wound himself up to the
-point of carrying out his engagement in desperation, or else he was
-coming to tell his story and ask for his release. I heard of it
-immediately from the Admiral himself, who was evidently not quite at
-ease in his mind on the subject. And a short time afterwards Martha came
-in, dragging her sister with her, full of the news.
-
-‘I could scarcely get her to come,’ Martha said. ‘I can’t think what she
-always wants running after those village people. And when we have just
-got the news that Ellis is coming home!’
-
-‘Yes, I heard,’ said I. ‘I suppose I ought to congratulate you. Do you
-expect him soon? Does he say anything about----?’
-
-‘Oh, his letter was to papa,’ said Martha, interrupting my very
-hesitating and embarrassed speech; for my eyes were on Nelly, and I saw
-in a moment that her whole expression had changed. ‘He could not be
-expected to say anything particular to papa, but I suppose it must be
-very soon. I don’t think he will want to wait now he is free.’
-
-‘I shall be very glad when it is all over,’ said Nelly, to my great
-surprise. It was the first time I had heard her make any comment on the
-subject. ‘It will make so much fuss and worry. It is very entertaining
-to them, I suppose, but it is rather tiresome to us. Mrs. Mulgrave, I am
-going to see Molly Jackson; I can hear all about the _trousseau_ at
-home, you know.’
-
-‘Nelly!’ said I, as I kissed her; and I could not restrain a warning
-look. She flushed up, poor child, to her hair, but turned away with a
-sick impatience that went to my heart.
-
-‘If you had the worry of it night and day as I shall have!’ she said
-under her breath, with an impatient sigh. And then she went away.
-
-I knew all that was in her heart as well as if she had told me. She had
-lost her temper and patience as well as her peace of mind. It is hard to
-keep serene under a repeated pressure. She did it the first time, but
-she was not equal to it the second. She had no excuse to go away now.
-She had to look forward to everything, and hear it all discussed, and go
-through it in anticipation. She had to receive him as his future sister;
-to be the witness of everything, always on the spot; a part of the
-bridal pageant, the first and closest spectator. And it was very hard to
-bear. As for Martha, she sat serene in a chair which she had herself
-worked for me, turning her fair countenance to the light. She saw
-nothing strange in Nelly’s temper, nor in anything that happened to her.
-She sat waiting till I had taken my seat again, quite ready to go into
-the question of the _trousseau_. The sight of her placidity made me
-desperate. Suddenly there came before me the haggard looks of poor
-Llewellyn, and the pale exasperation and heart-sickness of my bright
-little Nelly’s face. And then I looked at Martha, who was sitting,
-serene and cheerful, just in the same spot and the same attitude in
-which, a few days before, she had told me of Major Frost. She had left
-off Major Frost now and come back to her trousseau. What did it matter
-to her which of them it was? As for giving her pain or humiliating her,
-how much or how long would she feel it? I became desperate. I fastened
-the door when I closed it after Nelly that nobody might interrupt us,
-and then I came and sat down opposite to my victim. Martha was utterly
-unconscious still. It never occurred to her to notice how people were
-looking, nor to guess what was in anybody’s mind.
-
-‘You are quite pleased,’ said I, making my first assault very gently,
-‘that Captain Llewellyn is coming home?’
-
-‘Pleased!’ said Martha. ‘Of course I am pleased. What odd people you all
-are! Anybody might see that it is pleasanter to be settled and know what
-one is doing. I wish you would come up to town with me some day, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, and help me with my things.’
-
-‘My dear,’ said I, ‘in the first place, there is something more
-important than your things; there is Major Frost. What do you mean to do
-with him?’
-
-‘I--with him?’ said Martha, opening her eyes. ‘He always knew I was
-engaged. Of course I am very sorry for him; but if he did not choose to
-come forward in time, he could not expect that one was to wait.’
-
-‘And is that how you mean to leave him,’ said I severely, ‘after all the
-encouragement you have given him? Every day, for a month past, I have
-expected to hear you say that you had made a mistake about Captain
-Llewellyn, and that it was the Major you liked best.’
-
-‘Oh, fancy _me_ doing such a thing!’ cried Martha, really roused, ‘after
-being engaged to Ellis a whole year. If he had come forward at the
-proper time perhaps---- But to make a change when everything was
-settled! You never could have believed it of _me_!’
-
-‘If you like the other better, it is never too late to make a change,’
-said I, carried away by my motive, which was good, and justified a
-little stretch of ethics. ‘You will be doing a dreadful injury to poor
-Captain Llewellyn if you marry him and like another man best.’
-
-Martha looked at me with a little simper of self-satisfaction. ‘I think
-I know my duty,’ she said. ‘I am engaged. I don’t see that anything else
-is of any consequence. Of course the gentleman I am engaged to is the
-one I shall like best.’
-
-‘Do you mean that you are engaged to him because you like him best?’
-said I. ‘Martha, take care. You may be preparing great bitterness for
-yourself. I have no motive but your good.’ This was not true, but still
-it is a thing that everybody says; and I was so much excited that I had
-to stop to take breath. ‘You may never have it in your power to make a
-choice again,’ I said with solemnity. ‘You ought to pause and think
-seriously which of the two you love. You cannot love them both. It is
-the most serious question you will ever have to settle in your life.’
-
-Martha looked at me with a calm surprise which drove me wild. ‘Dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave,’ she said, ‘I don’t know what you mean. I am engaged to
-Ellis--and Major Frost has never proposed even. He may have been only
-flirting, for anything I can tell; and how foolish it would be to give
-up the one without any real hold on the other! but of course it is
-nonsense altogether. Why, Ellis is coming back on purpose; and as Major
-Frost did not come forward in time, I don’t see how he can complain.’
-
-All this she said with the most perfect placidity, sitting opposite the
-window, lifting her serene countenance to the light. It was a practical
-concern to Martha. It did not so much matter which it was; but to
-interfere with a thing fully arranged and settled, because of any mere
-question of liking! I was not by a very long way so cool as she was.
-Everything seemed to me to depend upon this last throw, and I felt
-myself suddenly bold to put it to the touch. It was not my business, to
-be sure; but to think of those two young creatures torn asunder and made
-miserable! It was not even Nelly I was thinking of. Nelly would be
-free; she was young; she would not have her heartbreak always kept
-before her, and time would heal her wounds. But poor Llewellyn was bound
-and fettered. He could not escape nor forget. It was for him I made my
-last attempt.
-
-‘Martha, I have something still more serious to say to you,’ I said. ‘Do
-you remember, when you told me of Captain Llewellyn’s proposal first, I
-asked you if it was not a mistake?’
-
-‘Yes, I remember very well,’ said Martha. ‘It was just like you. I never
-knew any one who asked such odd questions. I should have been angry had
-it been any one but you.’
-
-‘Perhaps you will be angry now,’ I said. ‘I know you will be vexed, but
-I can’t help it. Oh, my dear, you must listen to me! It is not only your
-happiness that is concerned, but that of others. Martha, I have every
-reason to think that it was a mistake. Don’t smile; I am in earnest. It
-was a mistake. Can’t you see yourself how little heart he puts into it?
-Martha, my dear, it is no slight to you. You told me you had never
-thought of him before he wrote to you. And it was not you he meant to
-write to. What can I say to convince you? It is true; it is not merely
-my idea. It was all a mistake.’
-
-‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said Martha, a little moved out of her composure, ‘I am
-not angry. I might be; but I am sure you don’t mean it. It is one of the
-fancies you take into your head. How could it be a mistake? It was me he
-wrote to, not anybody else. Of course I was not fond of him before; but
-when a man asks you to marry him, how is it possible there can be any
-mistake?’
-
-‘Oh, Martha,’ I said, wringing my hands, ‘let me tell you all; only hear
-me, and don’t be vexed. Did you never notice all that summer how he
-followed Nelly about? Try and remember. He was always by her side;
-wherever we went those two were together. Ask anybody; ask Lady Denzil;
-ask your father. Oh, my dear child, I don’t want to hurt your feelings!
-I want to save you from something you will be very sorry for. I want you
-to be happy. Can’t you see what I mean without any more explanations
-from me?’
-
-Martha had, notwithstanding her composure, grown pale. Her placid looks
-had changed a little. ‘I see it is something about Sister,’ she said.
-‘Because you like her best, you think everybody else must like her best
-too. I wonder why it is that you are so unkind to me!’
-
-As she spoke she cried a little, and turned her shoulder towards me,
-instead of her face.
-
-‘Not unkind,’ I said, ‘oh, not unkind; I am speaking only because I love
-you all.’
-
-‘You have never loved _me_,’ said Martha, weeping freely; ‘never, though
-I have been so fond of you. And now you want to make me ridiculous and
-miserable. How can I tell what you mean? What has Sister to do with it?
-Ellis was civil to her for--for my sake. It was me he proposed to. How
-can I tell what you are all plotting in your hearts? When people write
-letters to me, and ask me to marry them, am I not to believe what they
-say?’
-
-‘When he wrote, he thought Nelly was the eldest,’ I said. ‘You know what
-I have always told you about your names. He wrote to her, and it came to
-you. Martha, believe me, it is not one of my fancies; it is true.’
-
-‘How do you know it is true?’ she cried, with a natural outburst of
-anger and indignation. ‘How do you dare to come and say all this now?
-Insulting Ellis, and Sister, and me! Oh, I wish I had never known you! I
-wish I had never, never come into this house! I wish----’
-
-Her voice died away in a storm of sobs and tears. She cried like a
-child--as a baby cries, violently, with temper, and not with grief. She
-was not capable of Nelly’s suppressed passion and misery; neither did
-the blow strike deep enough for that; and she had no pride to restrain
-her. She cried noisily, turning her shoulder to me, making her eyes red
-and her cheeks blurred. When I got up and went to her, she repulsed me;
-I had nothing to do but sit down again, and wait till the passion had
-worn itself out. And there she sat sobbing, crushing her pretty hat, and
-disfiguring her pretty face, with the bright light falling upon her, and
-revealing every heave of her shoulders. By degrees the paroxysm
-subsided; she dried her eyes, poor child, and put up her hair, which had
-got into disorder, with hasty and agitated hands. Then she turned her
-flushed, tear-stained face upon me. It was almost prettier than usual in
-this childish passion.
-
-‘I don’t believe you!’ she cried. ‘I don’t believe it one bit! You only
-want to vex me. Oh, I wish I had never known you. I wish I might never
-see you again--you, and--all the rest! I wish I were dead! But I shall
-tell papa, Mrs. Mulgrave, and I know what he will think of you.’
-
-‘Martha, I am very sorry----’ I began, but Martha had rushed to the
-door.
-
-‘I don’t want to hear any more!’ she said. ‘I know everything you can
-say. You are fond of Sister, and want her to have everything. And you
-always hated me!’
-
-With these words she rushed out, shutting not only the door of the room
-behind her in her wrath, but the door of the house, which stood always
-open. She left me, I avow, in a state of very great agitation. I had not
-expected her to take it in this way. And it had been a great strain upon
-my nerves to speak at all. I trembled all over, and as soon as she was
-gone I cried too, from mere nervousness and agitation, not to speak of
-the terrible thought that weighed on my mind--had I done harm or good?
-What would the others say if they knew? Would they bless or curse me?
-Had I interfered out of season? Had I been officious? Heaven knows! The
-result only could show.
-
-Most people know what a strange feeling it is when one has thus
-estranged, or parted in anger from, a daily and intimate companion; how
-one sits in a vague fever of excitement, thinking it over--wondering
-what else one could have said; wondering if the offended friend will
-come or send, or give any sign of reconciliation; wondering what one
-ought to do. I was so shaken by it altogether that I was good for
-nothing but lying down on the sofa. When my maid came to look for me,
-she was utterly dismayed by my appearance. ‘Them young ladies are too
-much for you, ma’am,’ she said indignantly. ‘It’s as bad as daughters of
-your own.’ I think that little speech was the last touch that was wanted
-to make me break down. As bad as daughters of my own! but not as good;
-very different. When I thought how those girls would cling round their
-father, it was more than I could bear. Not that I envied him. But I was
-ready to do more for them than he was; to risk their very love in order
-to serve them; and how different was their affection for me!
-
-All day long I stayed indoors, recovering slowly, but feeling very
-miserable. Nobody came near me. The girls, who were generally flitting
-out and in twenty times in a day, never appeared again. The very door
-which Martha shut in her passion remained closed all day. When it came
-to be evening, I could bear it no longer; I could not let the sun go
-down upon such a quarrel; I was so lonely I could not afford to be
-proud. I drew my shawl round me, though I was still trembling, and went
-softly in at the Admiral’s gate. It was dusk, and everything was very
-sweet. It had been a lovely autumn day, very warm for the season, and
-the twilight lingered as if it were loth to make an end. I thought the
-girls would probably be in the drawing-room by themselves, and that I
-might invent some excuse for sending Nelly away, and try to make my
-peace with her sister. I did not love Martha as I loved Nelly, but I was
-fond of her all the same, as one is fond of a girl one has seen grow up,
-and watched over from day to day; and I could not bear that she should
-be estranged from me. When I went in however Nelly was all alone. She
-was sitting in a low chair by the fire, for they always had a fire
-earlier than other people. She was sitting over it with her face resting
-in her hands, almost crouching towards the friendly blaze. And yet it
-was a warm evening, very warm for the time of the year. She started when
-she heard my step, and turned round and for the moment I saw that I was
-not welcome to Nelly either. Her thoughts had been better company: or
-was it possible that Martha could have told her? I did not think however
-that this could be the case, when she drew forward my favourite chair
-for me, and we began to talk. Nelly had not passed through any crisis
-such as that which Martha and I had made for ourselves. She told me her
-sister had a headache, and had been lying down before dinner, but that
-now she had gone out for a little air.
-
-‘Only in the garden,’ Nelly said. And then she added, ‘Major Frost is
-here. He is with her--and I don’t think he ought to come so
-often--now----’
-
-‘Major Frost!’ I said, and my heart began to beat; I don’t know what I
-feared or hoped, for at this moment the Admiral came in from the
-dining-room, and joined us, and we got into ordinary conversation. What
-a strange thing ordinary conversation is! We sat in the dark, with only
-the firelight making rosy gleams about the room, and wavering in the
-great mirror over the mantelpiece, where we were all dimly
-reflected--and talked about every sort of indifferent subject. But I
-wonder if Nelly was thinking of what she was saying? or if her heart was
-away, like mine, hovering over the heads of these two in the garden, or
-with poor Llewellyn, who was creeping home an unwilling bridegroom? Even
-the Admiral, I believe, had something on his mind different from all our
-chit-chat. For my own part I sat well back in my corner, with my heart
-thumping so against my breast that it affected my breathing. I had to
-speak in gasps, making up the shortest sentences I could think of. And
-we talked about public affairs, and what was likely to be the result of
-the new measures; and the Admiral, who was a man of the old school,
-shook his head, and declared I was a great deal too much of an optimist,
-and thought more hopefully than reasonably of the national affairs.
-Heaven help me! I was thinking of nothing at that moment but of Martha
-and Major Frost.
-
-Then there was a little stir outside in the hall. The firelight, and the
-darkness, and the suspense, and my own feelings generally, recalled to
-my mind so strongly the evening on which Llewellyn arrived, that I
-should not have been surprised had he walked in, when the door opened.
-But it was only Martha who came in. The firelight caught her as she
-entered, and showed me for one brief moment a different creature from
-the Martha I had parted with that morning in sobs and storms. I don’t
-know what she wore; but I know that she was more elaborately dressed
-than usual, and had sparkling ornaments about her, which caught the
-light. I almost think, though I never could be sure, that it was her
-poor mother’s diamond brooch which she had put on, though they were
-alone. She came in lightly, with something of the triumphant air I had
-noticed in her a year ago, before Captain Llewellyn’s Christmas visit.
-It was evident at all events that my remonstrance had not broken her
-spirit. I could see her give a little glance to my corner, and I know
-that she saw I was there.
-
-‘Are you here, papa?’ she said. ‘You always sit, like crows, in the
-dark, and nobody can see you.’ Then she drew a chair into the circle.
-She took no notice of me or any one, but placed herself directly in the
-light of the fire.
-
-‘Yes, my dear,’ said her father. ‘I am glad you have come in. It begins
-to get cold.’
-
-‘We did not feel it cold,’ said Martha, and then she laughed--a short
-little disconnected laugh, which indicated some disturbance of her calm;
-then she went on, with a tendency to short and broken sentences, like
-myself--‘Papa,’ she said, ‘I may as well tell you at once. When the
-Major was here last he was poor, and could not speak--now he’s well
-off. And he wants me to marry him. I like him better than--Ellis
-Llewellyn. I always--liked him better--and he loves _me_!’
-
-Upon which Martha burst into tears.
-
-If I were to try to describe the consternation produced by this
-unlooked-for speech, I should only prolong my story without making it
-more clear. The want of light heightened it, and confused us all doubly.
-If a bomb had burst in the peaceful place I don’t think it could have
-produced a greater commotion. It was only the Admiral however who could
-say a word, and of course he was the proper person. Martha very soon
-came out of her tears to reply to him. He was angry, he was bewildered,
-he was wild for the moment. What was he to say to Llewellyn? What did
-she mean? How did Major Frost dare----? I confess that I was crying in
-my corner--I could not help it. When the Admiral began to storm, I put
-my hand on his arm, and made him come to me, and whispered a word in his
-ear. Then the good man subsided into a bewildered silence. And after a
-while he went to the library, where Major Frost was waiting to know his
-fate.
-
-It is unnecessary to follow out the story further. Llewellyn, poor
-fellow, had to wait a long time after all before Nelly would look at
-him. I never knew such a proud little creature. And she never would own
-to me that any spark of human feeling had been in her during that
-painful year. They were a proud family altogether. Martha met me ever
-after with her old affectionateness and composure--never asked pardon,
-nor said I was right, but at the same time never resented nor betrayed
-my interference. I believe she forgot it even, with the happy facility
-that belonged to her nature, and has not an idea now that it was
-anything but the influence of love and preference which made her cast
-off Llewellyn and choose Major Frost.
-
-Sometimes however in the gray of the summer evenings, or the long, long
-winter nights, I think I might just as well have let things alone. There
-are two bright households the more in the world, no doubt. But the
-Admiral and I are both dull enough sometimes, now the girls are gone. He
-comes, and sits with me, which is always company, and it is not his
-fault I have not changed my residence and my lonely condition. But I say
-to him, why should we change, and give the world occasion to laugh, and
-make a talk of us at our age? Things are very well as they are. I
-believe we are better company to each other living next door, than if we
-were more closely allied; and our neighbours know us too well to make
-any talk about our friendship. But still it often happens, even when we
-are together,--in the still evenings, and in the firelight, and when all
-the world is abroad of summer nights--that we both of us lament a little
-in the silence, and feel that it is very dull without the girls.
-
-
-
-
-LADY DENZIL
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-The Denzils were the chief people at Dinglefield Green. Their house was
-by much the most considerable-looking house, and the grounds were
-beautiful. I say the most considerable-looking, for my own impression is
-that Dinglewood, which was afterwards bought by the stockbroker whose
-coming convulsed the whole Green, was in reality larger than the Lodge;
-but the Lodge, when Sir Thomas Denzil was in it, was all the same the
-centre of everything. It was like Windsor Castle to us neighbours, or
-perhaps in reality it was more what her Majesty’s actual royal
-habitation is to the dwellers within her castle gates. We were the poor
-knights, the canons, the musical and ecclesiastical people who cluster
-about that mingled stronghold of the State and Church--but to the Lodge
-was it given to bestow distinction upon us. Those of us who visited Lady
-Denzil entered into all the privileges of rank; those who did not
-receive that honour fell into the cold shade--and a very uncomfortable
-shade it must have been. I speak, you will say, at my ease; for my
-people had known the Denzils ages before, and Sir Thomas most kindly
-sent his wife to call, almost before I had settled down into my cottage;
-but I remember how very sore Mrs. Wood felt about it, though it
-surprised me at the time. ‘I have been here five years, and have met
-them everywhere, but she has never found the way to my door. Not that I
-care in the least,’ she said, with a flush on her cheek. She was a
-clergyman’s widow, and very sensitive about her ‘position,’ poor
-thing--and almost found fault with me, as if I was to blame for having
-known the Denzils in my youth.
-
-Lady Denzil, who had so much weight among us, was a very small
-personage. She would have been tiny and insignificant had she not been
-so stately and imposing. I don’t know how she did it. She was some way
-over sixty at the time I speak of. Whatever the fashion was, she always
-wore long flowing dresses which swept the ground for a yard behind her,
-and cloaks ample and graceful: always large, always full, and always
-made of black silk. Even in winter, though her carriage would be piled
-with heaps of furs, she wore upon her little majestic person nothing
-but silk. Such silk!--you should have touched it to know what it was.
-The very sound of it, as it rustled softly after her over the summer
-lawn or the winter carpet, was totally different from the _frôlement_ of
-ordinary robes. Some people said she had it made for herself expressly
-at Lyons. I don’t know how that might be, but I know I never saw
-anything like it. I believe she had every variety in her wardrobe that
-heart of woman could desire: Indian shawls worth a fortune I _know_ were
-among her possessions; but she never wore anything but that matchless
-silk--long dresses of it, and long, large, ample cloaks to correspond.
-Her hair was quite white, like silver. She had the brightest dark eyes,
-shining out from under brows which were curved and lined as finely as
-when she was eighteen. Her colour was as fresh as a rose. I think there
-never was a more lovely old lady. Eighteen, indeed! It has its charms,
-that pleasant age. It is sweet to the eye, especially of man. Perhaps a
-woman, who has oftenest to lecture the creature, instead of falling down
-to worship, may not see so well the witchery which lies in the period;
-but find me any face of eighteen that could match Lady Denzil’s. It had
-wrinkles, yes; but these were crossed by lines of thought, and lighted
-up by that soft breath of experience and forbearance which comes only
-with the years. Lady Denzil’s eyes saw things that other eyes could not
-see. She knew by instinct when things were amiss. You could tell it by
-the charitable absence of all questioning, by a calm taking for granted
-the most unlikely explanations. Some people supposed they deceived her,
-but they never deceived her. And some people spoke of her extraordinary
-insight, and eyes that could see through a millstone. I believe her eyes
-were clear; but it was experience, only experience--long knowledge of
-the world, acquaintance with herself and human nature, and all the
-chances that befall us on our way through this life. That it was, and
-not any mere intuition or sharpness that put insight into Lady Denzil’s
-eyes.
-
-The curious thing however was that she had never had any troubles of her
-own. She had lived with Sir Thomas in the Lodge since a period dating
-far beyond my knowledge. It was a thing which was never mentioned among
-us, chiefly, I have no doubt, because of her beautiful manners and
-stately look, though it came to be spoken of afterwards, as such things
-will; but the truth is, that nobody knew very clearly who Lady Denzil
-was. Sir Thomas’s first wife was from Lancashire, of one of the best old
-families in the county, and it was not an unusual thing for new comers
-to get confused about this, and identify the present Lady Denzil with
-her predecessor; but I am not aware that any one really knew the rights
-of it or could tell who she was. I have heard the mistake made, and I
-remember distinctly the gracious and unsatisfactory way with which she
-put it aside. ‘The first Lady Denzil was a Lancashire woman,’ she said;
-‘she was one of the Tunstalls of Abbotts Tunstall, and a very beautiful
-and charming person.’ This was all; she did not add, as anybody else
-would have done, Loamshire or Blankshire is my county. It was very
-unsatisfactory, but it was fine all the same--and closed everybody’s
-mouth. There were always some connections on the Denzil side staying at
-the Lodge at the end of the year. No one could be kinder than she was to
-all Sir Thomas’s young connections. But nobody belonging to Lady Denzil
-was ever seen among us. I don’t think it was remarked at the time, but
-it came to be noted afterwards, and it certainly was very strange.
-
-I never saw more perfect devotion than that which old Sir Thomas showed
-to his wife. He was about ten years older than she--a hale, handsome old
-man, nearly seventy. Had he been twenty-five and she eighteen he could
-not have been more tender, more careful of her. Often have I looked at
-her and wondered, with the peaceful life she led, with the love and
-reverence and tender care which surrounded her, how she had ever come to
-know the darker side of life, and understand other people’s feelings. No
-trouble seemed ever to have come near her. She put down her dainty
-little foot only to walk over soft carpets or through bright gardens;
-she never went anywhere where those long silken robes might not sweep,
-safe even from the summer dust, which all the rest of us have to brave
-by times. Lady Denzil never braved it. I have seen her sometimes--very
-seldom--with her dress gathered up in her arms in great billows, on the
-sheltered sunny lime-walk which was at one side of the Lodge, taking a
-little gentle exercise; but this was quite an unusual circumstance, and
-meant that the roads were too heavy or too slippery for her horses. On
-these rare occasions Sir Thomas would be at her side, like a courtly old
-gallant as he was. He was as deferential to his wife as if she had been
-a princess and he dependent on her favour: and at the same time there
-was a grace of old love in his reverence which was like a poem. It was a
-curious little paradise that one looked into over the ha-ha across the
-verdant lawns that encircled the Lodge. The two were old and childless,
-and sometimes solitary; but I don’t think, though they opened their
-house liberally to kith, kin, and connections, that they ever felt less
-lonely than when they were alone. Two, where the two are one, is enough.
-To be sure the two in Eden were young. Yet it does but confer a certain
-tender pathos upon that companionship when they are old. I thought of
-the purest romance I knew, of the softest creations of poetry, when I
-used to see old Sir Thomas in the lime-walk with his old wife.
-
-But I was sorry she had not called on poor Mrs. Wood. It would have been
-of real consequence to that good woman if Lady Denzil had called. She
-was only a clergyman’s widow, and a clergyman’s widow may be anything,
-as everybody knows: she may be such a person as will be an acquisition
-anywhere, or she may be quite the reverse. It was because Mrs. Wood
-belonged to this indefinite class that Lady Denzil’s visit would have
-been of such use. Her position was doubtful, poor soul! She was very
-respectable and very good in her way, and her daughters were nice girls;
-but there was nothing in themselves individually to raise them out of
-mediocrity. I took the liberty to say so one day when I was at the
-Lodge: but Lady Denzil did not see it somehow; and what could I do? And
-on the other hand it was gall and wormwood to poor Mrs. Wood every time
-she saw the carriage with the two bays stop at my door.
-
-‘I saw Lady Denzil here to-day,’ she would say. ‘You ought to feel
-yourself honoured. I must say I don’t see why people should give in to
-her so. In my poor husband’s time the duchess never came into the parish
-without calling. It need not be any object to me to be noticed by a bit
-of a baronet’s wife.’
-
-‘No, indeed!’ said I, being a coward and afraid to stand to my guns; ‘I
-am sure you need not mind. And she is old, poor lady--and I am an old
-friend--and indeed I don’t know that Lady Denzil professes to visit,’ I
-went on faltering, with a sense of getting deeper and deeper into the
-mud.
-
-‘Oh, pray don’t say so to spare my feelings,’ said Mrs. Wood with
-asperity. ‘It is nothing to me whether she calls or not, but you must
-know, Mrs. Mulgrave, that Lady Denzil does make a point of calling on
-every one she thinks worth her while. I am sure she is quite at liberty
-to do as she pleases so far as I am concerned.’ Here she stopped and
-relieved herself, drawing a long breath and fanning with her
-handkerchief her cheeks, which were crimson. ‘But if I were to say I was
-connected with the peerage, or to talk about the titled people I do
-know,’ she added with a look of spite, ‘she would very soon find out
-where I lived: oh, trust her for that!’
-
-‘I think you must have taken up a mistaken idea,’ I said, meekly. I had
-not courage enough to stand up in my friend’s defence. Not that I am
-exactly a coward by nature, but Mrs. Wood was rather a difficult person
-to deal with; and I was sorry in the present instance, and felt that the
-grievance was a real one. ‘I don’t think Lady Denzil cares very much
-about the peerage. She is an old woman and has her fancies, I suppose.’
-
-‘Oh, you are a favourite!’ said Mrs. Wood, tossing her head, as if it
-were my fault. ‘You have the _entrées_, and we are spiteful who are left
-out, you know,’ she added with pretended playfulness. It was a very
-affected little laugh however to which she gave utterance, and her
-cheeks flamed crimson. I was very sorry--I did not know what to say to
-make things smooth again. If I had been Lady Denzil’s keeper, I should
-have taken her to call at Rose Cottage next day. But I was not Lady
-Denzil’s keeper. It was great kindness of her to visit me: how could I
-force her against her will to visit other people? A woman of Mrs. Wood’s
-age, who surely could not have got so far through the world without a
-little understanding of how things are managed, ought to have known
-that it could do her very little good to quarrel with me.
-
-And then the girls would come to me when there was anything going on at
-the Lodge. ‘We met the Miss Llewellyns the other day,’ Adelaide said on
-one occasion. ‘We thought them very nice. They are staying with Lady
-Denzil, you know. I wish you would make Lady Denzil call on mamma, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. It is so hard to come and settle in a place and be shut out
-from all the best parties. Until you have been at the Lodge you are
-considered nobody on the Green.’
-
-‘The Lodge can’t make us different from what we are,’ said Nora, the
-other sister, who was of a different temper. ‘I should be ashamed to
-think it mattered whether Lady Denzil called or not.’
-
-‘But it does matter a great deal when they are going to give a ball,’
-said Adelaide very solemnly. ‘The best balls going, some of the officers
-told me; and everybody will be there--except Nora and me,’ said the poor
-girl. ‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I wish you would make Lady Denzil call!’
-
-‘But, my dear, I can’t make Lady Denzil do anything,’ I said; ‘I have no
-power over her. She comes to see me sometimes, but we are not intimate,
-and I have no influence. She comes because my people knew the Denzils
-long ago. She has her own ways. I could not make her do one thing or
-another. It is wrong to speak so to me.’
-
-‘But you could if you would try,’ said Adelaide; as she spoke, we could
-hear the sound of the croquet balls from the Lodge, and voices and
-laughter. We were all three walking along the road, under shelter of the
-trees. She gave such a wistful look when she heard them, that it went to
-my heart. It was not a very serious trouble, it is true. But still to
-feel one’s self shut out from anything, is hard when one is twenty. I
-had to hurry past the gate, to restrain the inclination I had to brave
-everything, and take them in with me, as my friends, to join the croquet
-party. I know very well what would have happened had I done so. Lady
-Denzil would have been perfectly sweet and gracious, and sent them away
-delighted with her; but she would never have crossed my threshold again.
-And what good would that have done them? The fact was, they had nothing
-particular to recommend them; no special qualities of their own to make
-up for their want of birth and connection; and this being the case what
-could any one say?
-
-It gave one a very different impression of Lady Denzil, to see how she
-behaved when poor Mrs. Stoke was in such trouble about her youngest boy.
-I had been with her calling, and Mrs. Stoke had told us a whole long
-story about him; how good-hearted he was, and how generous, spending his
-money upon everybody. It was a very hard matter for me to keep my
-countenance, for of course I knew Everard Stoke, and what kind of boy he
-was. But Lady Denzil took it all with the greatest attention and
-sympathy. I could not but speak of it when we came out. ‘Poor Mrs.
-Stoke!’ said I, ‘it is strange how she can deceive herself so--and she
-must have known we knew better. You who have seen poor Everard grow up,
-Lady Denzil----’
-
-‘Yes, my dear,’ she said, ‘you are right; and yet, do you know, I think
-you are wrong too? She is not deceived. She knows a great deal better
-than we do. But then she is on the other side of the scene, and she sees
-into the boy’s heart a little. I hope she sees into his heart.’
-
-‘I fear it is a very bad heart; I should not think it was any pleasure
-to look into it,’ said I in my haste. Lady Denzil gave me a soft,
-half-reproachful look. ‘Well,’ she said, and gave a sigh, ‘it has always
-been one of my great fancies, that God was more merciful than man,
-because He saw fully what was in all our hearts--what we meant, poor
-creatures that we are, not what we did. We so seldom have any confidence
-in Him for that. We think He will forgive and save, but we don’t think
-He understands, and sees everything, and knows that nothing is so bad as
-it seems. Perhaps it is dangerous doctrine; at least the vicar would
-think so, I fear.’
-
-‘In the case of Everard Stoke,’ said I stupidly, coming back to the
-starting point.
-
-‘My dear,’ said Lady Denzil with a little impatience, ‘the older one
-grows, the less one feels inclined to judge any one. Indeed when one
-grows quite old,’ she went on after a pause, smiling a little, as if it
-were at the thought that she, whom no doubt she could remember so
-thoughtless and young, _was_ quite old, ‘one comes to judge not at all.
-Poor Everard, he never was a good boy--but I dare say his mother knows
-him best, and he is better than is thought.’
-
-‘At least it was a comfort to her to see you look as if you believed
-her,’ said I, not quite entering into the argument. Lady Denzil took no
-notice of this speech. It was a beautiful bright day, and it was but a
-step from Mrs. Stoke’s cottage to the Lodge gates, which we were just
-about entering. But at that moment there was a little party of soldiers
-marching along the high-road, at right angles from where we stood. It is
-not far from the Green to the barracks, and their red coats were not
-uncommon features in the landscape. These men however were marching in a
-business-like way, not lingering on the road: and among them was a man
-in a shooting-coat, handcuffed, poor fellow! It was a deserter they were
-taking back to the punishment that awaited him. I made some meaningless
-exclamation or other, and stood still, looking after them for a moment.
-Then I suppose my interest failed as they went on, at their rapid,
-steady pace, turning their backs upon us. I came back to Lady Denzil, my
-passing distraction over; but when I looked at her, there was something
-in her face that struck me with the deepest wonder. She had not come
-back to me. She was standing absorbed, watching them; the colour all
-gone out of her soft old cheeks, and the saddest, wistful, longing gaze
-in her eyes. It was not pity--it was something mightier, more intense.
-She did not breathe or move, but stood gazing, gazing after them. When
-they had disappeared, she came to herself; her hands, which had been
-clasped tightly, fell loose at her sides; she gave a long deep sigh, and
-then she became conscious of my eyes upon her, and the colour came back
-with a rush to her face.
-
-‘I am always interested about soldiers,’ she said faintly, turning as
-she spoke to open the gate. That was all the notice she took of it. But
-the incident struck me more than my account of it may seem to justify.
-If such a thing had been possible as that the deserter might have been
-her husband or her brother, one could have understood it. Had I seen
-such a look on Mrs. Stoke’s face, I should have known it was Everard.
-But here was Lady Denzil, a contented childless woman, without anybody
-to disturb her peace. Sympathy must indeed have become perfect, before
-such a wistfulness could come into any woman’s eyes.
-
-Often since I have recalled that scene to my mind, and wondered over it;
-the quick march of the soldiers on the road; the man in the midst with
-death environing him all round, and most likely despair in his heart;
-and that one face looking on, wistful as love, sad as death--and yet
-with no cause either for her sadness or her love. It did not last long,
-it is true; but it was one of the strangest scenes I ever witnessed in
-my life.
-
-It even appeared to me next day as if Lady Denzil had been a little
-shaken, either by her visit to Mrs. Stoke, or by this strange little
-episode which nobody knew of. She had taken to me, which I confess I
-felt as a great compliment; and Sir Thomas came in to ask me to go to
-her next afternoon. ‘My lady has a headache,’ he said in a quaint way he
-had of speaking of her: I think he would have liked to call her my queen
-or my princess. When he said ‘my lady’ there was something chivalric,
-something romantic in his very tone. When I went into the drawing-room
-at the Lodge the great green blind was drawn over the window on the west
-side, and the trees gave the same green effect to the daylight, at the
-other end. The east windows looked out upon the lime-walk, and the light
-came in softly, green and shadowy, through the silken leaves. She was
-lying on the sofa, which was not usual with her. As soon as I entered
-the room she called me to come and sit by her--and of course she did not
-say a word about yesterday. We went on talking for an hour and more,
-about the trees, and the sunset; about what news there was; girls going
-to be married, and babies coming, and other such domestic incidents. And
-sometimes the conversation would languish for a moment, and I did think
-once there was something strange in her eyes, when she looked at me, as
-if she had something to tell and was looking into my face to see whether
-she might or might not do it. But it never went any further; we began
-to speak of Molly Jackson, and that was an interminable subject. Molly
-was a widow in the village, and she gave us all a great deal of trouble.
-She had a quantity of little children, to whom the people on the Green
-were very kind, and she was a good-natured soft soul, always falling
-into some scrape or other. This time was the worst of all; it was when
-the talk got up about Thomas Short. People said that Molly was going to
-marry him. It would have been very foolish for them both, of course. He
-was poor and he was getting old, and would rather have hindered than
-helped her with her children. We gentlefolks may, or may not, be
-sentimental about our own concerns; but we see things in their true
-light when they take place among our poor neighbours. As for the two
-being a comfort to each other we never entered into that question; there
-were more important matters concerned.
-
-‘I don’t know what would become of the poor children,’ said I. ‘The man
-would never put up with them, and indeed it could not be expected; and
-they have no friends to go to. But I don’t think Molly would be so
-wicked; she may be a fool but she has a mother’s heart.’
-
-Lady Denzil gave a faint smile and turned on her sofa as if something
-hurt her; she did not answer me all at once--and as I sat for a minute
-silent in that soft obscurity, Molly Jackson, I acknowledge, went out of
-my head. Then all at once when I had gone on to something else, she
-spoke; and her return to the subject startled me, I could not have told
-how.
-
-‘There are different ways of touching a mother’s heart,’ she said; ‘she
-might think it would be for their good; I don’t think it could be, for
-my part; I don’t think it ever is; a woman is deceived, or she deceives
-herself; and then when it is too late----’
-
-‘What is too late?’ said Sir Thomas behind us. He had come in at the
-great window, and we had not noticed. I thought Lady Denzil gave a
-little start, but there was no sign of it in her face.
-
-‘We were talking of Molly Jackson,’ she said. ‘Nothing is ever too late
-here, thanks to your precise habits, you old soldier. Molly must be
-talked to, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said, turning to me.
-
-‘Oh, yes, she will be talked to,’ said I; ‘I know the rector and his
-wife have both called; and last time I saw her, Mrs. Wood----’
-
-‘You are not one of the universal advisers,’ said Lady Denzil, patting
-my arm with her white hand. It was no virtue on my part, but she spoke
-as if she meant it for a compliment. And then we had to tell the whole
-story over again to Sir Thomas, who was very fond of a little gossip
-like all the gentlemen, but had to have everything explained to him, and
-never knew what was coming next. He chuckled and laughed as men do over
-it. ‘Old fool!’ he said. ‘A woman with half-a-dozen children.’ It was
-not Molly but Thomas Short that he thought would be a fool; and on our
-side, it is true that we had not been thinking of him.
-
-Molly Jackson has not much to do with this story, but yet it may be as
-well to say that she listened to reason, and did not do anything so
-absurd. It was a relief to all our minds when Thomas went to live in
-Langham parish the spring after, and married somebody there. I believe
-it was a girl out of the workhouse, who might have been his daughter,
-and led him a very sad life. But still in respect to Molly it was a
-relief to our minds. I hope she was of the same way of thinking. I know
-for one thing that she lost her temper, the only time I ever saw her do
-it--and was very indignant about the young wife. ‘Old fool!’ she said,
-and again it was Thomas that was meant. We had a way of talking a good
-deal about the village folks, and we all did a great deal for
-them--perhaps, on the whole, we did too much. When anything happened to
-be wanting among them, instead of making an effort to get it for
-themselves, it was always the ladies on the Green they came to. And, of
-course, we interfered in our turn.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-It was in the spring of the following year that little Mary first came
-to the Lodge. Sir Thomas had been absent for some time, on business,
-Lady Denzil said, and it was he who brought the child home. It is all
-impressed on my mind by the fact that I was there when they arrived. He
-was not expected until the evening, and I had gone to spend an hour with
-Lady Denzil in the afternoon. It was a bright spring day, as warm as
-summer; one of those sweet surprises that come upon us in England in
-intervals between the gray east wind and the rain. The sunshine had
-called out a perfect crowd of golden crocuses along the borders. They
-had all blown out quite suddenly, as if it had been an actual voice that
-called them, and God’s innocent creatures had rushed forth to answer to
-their names. And there were heaps of violets about the Lodge which made
-the air sweet. And there is something in that first exquisite touch of
-spring which moves all hearts. Lady Denzil had come out with me to the
-lawn. I thought she was quieter than usual, with the air of a woman
-listening for something. Everything was very still, and yet in the
-sunshine one felt as if one could hear the buds unfolding, the young
-grass and leaflets thrilling with their new life. But it did not seem to
-me that Lady Denzil was listening to these. I said, ‘Do you expect Sir
-Thomas now?’ with a kind of vague curiosity; and she looked in my face
-with a sudden quick glance of something like suspicion which I could not
-understand.
-
-‘Do I look as if I expected something?’ she said. ‘Yes--I expect some
-news that probably I shall not like. But it does not matter, my dear. It
-is nothing that affects me.’
-
-She said these words with a smile that was rather dreary to see. It was
-not like Lady Denzil. It was like saying, ‘So long as it does not affect
-me you know I don’t care,’--which was so very, very far from my opinion
-of her. I did not know what to answer. Her tone somehow disturbed the
-spring feeling, and the harmony of the flowers.
-
-‘I wish Sir Thomas had been here on such a lovely day,’ she said, after
-a while; ‘he enjoys it so. Peace is very pleasant, my dear, when you are
-old. You don’t quite appreciate it yet, as we do.’ And then she paused
-again and seemed to listen, and permitted herself the faintest little
-sigh.
-
-‘I think I am older than you are, Lady Denzil,’ I said.
-
-Then she laughed in her natural soft way. ‘I dare say you are,’ she
-said. ‘That is the difference between your restless middle age and our
-_oldness_. You feel old because you feel young. That’s how it is;
-whereas, being really old, we can afford to be young again--sometimes,’
-she added softly. The last word was said under her breath. I don’t
-suppose she thought I heard it; but I did, being very quick of hearing,
-and very fond of her, and feeling there was something underneath which I
-did not know.
-
-Just then there came the sound of wheels upon the road, and Lady Denzil
-started slightly. ‘You have put it into my head that Sir Thomas might
-come by the three o’clock train,’ she said. ‘It would be about time for
-it now.’ She had scarcely stopped speaking and we had just turned
-towards the gate, when a carriage entered. I saw at once it was one of
-the common flys that are to be had at the station, and that it was Sir
-Thomas who put his head out at the window. A moment after it stopped. He
-had seen Lady Denzil on the lawn. He got out with that slight hesitation
-which betrays an old man; and then he turned and lifted something out of
-the carriage. For the first moment one could not tell what it was--he
-made a long stride on to the soft greensward, with his eyes fixed upon
-Lady Denzil, and then he put down the child on the lawn. ‘Go to that
-lady,’ he said. For my part I stood and stared, knowing nothing of the
-feelings that might lie underneath. The child stood still with her
-little serious face and looked at us both for a moment, and then she
-walked steadily up to Lady Denzil, who had not moved. I was quite
-unprepared for what followed. Lady Denzil fell down on her knees on the
-grass--she took the child to her, into her arms, close to her breast.
-All at once she fell into a passion of tears. And yet that does not
-express what I saw. It was silent; there were no cries nor sobs, such as
-a young woman might have uttered. The tears fell as if they had been
-pent up all her life, as if all her life she had been waiting for this
-moment: while Sir Thomas stood looking on, half sad, half satisfied. It
-seemed a revelation to him as it was to me. All this time when she had
-looked so serene and had been so sweet, had she been carrying those
-tears in her heart! I think that must have been what was passing through
-Sir Thomas’s mind. I had stood and stared, as one does when one is
-unexpectedly made the spectator of a crisis in another life. When I came
-to myself I was ashamed of spying as it were upon Lady Denzil’s
-feelings. I hastened away, shaking hands with Sir Thomas as I passed
-him. And so entirely was his mind absorbed in the scene before him, that
-I scarcely think he knew who I was.
-
-After this it may be supposed I took a very great interest in little
-Mary. At first I was embarrassed and did not quite know what to
-do--whether I should go back next day and ask for the child, and give
-Lady Denzil an opportunity of getting over any confusion she might feel
-at the recollection that I had been present--or whether I should stay
-away; but it turned out that Lady Denzil was not half so sensitive as I
-was on the subject. I stayed away for one whole day thinking about
-little else--and the next day I went, lest they should think it strange.
-It seemed quite curious to me to be received as if nothing had happened.
-There was no appearance of anything out of the ordinary course. When I
-went in Lady Denzil held out her hand to me as usual without rising from
-her chair. ‘What has become of you?’ she said, and made me sit down by
-her, as she always did. After we had talked a while she rang the bell.
-‘I have something to show you,’ she said smiling. And then little Mary
-came in, in her little brown holland overall, as if it was the most
-natural thing in the world. She was the most lovely child I ever saw. I
-know when I say this that everybody will immediately think of a
-golden-haired, blue-eyed darling. But she was not of that description.
-Her hair was brown--not dark, but of the shade which grows dark with
-years; and it was very fine silky hair, not frizzy and rough as is the
-fashion now-a-days. Her eyes were brown too, of that tender wistful kind
-which are out of fashion like the hair. Every look the child gave was an
-appeal. There are some children’s eyes that look at you with perfect
-trust, believing in everybody; and these are sweet eyes. But little
-Mary’s were sweeter still, for they told you she believed in _you_.
-‘Take care of me: be good to me--I trust you,’ was what they said; ‘not
-everybody, but you.’ This was the expression in them; and I never knew
-anybody who could resist that look. Then she had the true child’s beauty
-of a lovely complexion, pure red and white. She came up to me and looked
-at me with those tender serious eyes, and then slid her soft little hand
-into mine. Even when I had ceased talking to her and petting her, she
-never took her eyes away from my face. It was the creature’s way of
-judging of the new people among whom she had been brought--for she was
-only about six, too young to draw much insight from words. I was glad to
-bend my head over her, to kiss her sweet little face and smooth her
-pretty hair by way of hiding a certain embarrassment I felt. But I was
-the only one of the three that was embarrassed. Lady Denzil sat and
-looked at the child with eyes that seemed to run over with content. ‘She
-is going to stay with me, and take care of me,’ she said, with a smile
-of absolute happiness; ‘are not you, little Mary?’
-
-‘Yes, my lady,’ said the little thing, turning, serious as a judge, to
-the old lady. I could not help giving a little start as I looked from
-one to the other, and saw the two pair of eyes meet. Lady Denzil was
-sixty, and little Mary was but six; but it was the same face; I felt
-quite confused after I had made this discovery, and sat silent and heard
-them talk to each other. Even in the little voice there was a certain
-trill which was like Lady Denzil’s. Then the whole scene rushed before
-me. Lady Denzil on her knees, her tears pouring forth and the child
-clasped in her arms. What did it mean? My lady was childless--and even
-had it been otherwise, that baby never could have been _her_ child--who
-was she? I was so bewildered and surprised that it took from me the very
-power of speech.
-
-After this strange introduction the child settled down as an inmate of
-the Lodge, and was seen and admired by everybody. And every one
-discovered the resemblance. The neighbours on the Green all found it
-out, and as there was no reason we knew of why she should not be Lady
-Denzil’s relation, we all stated our opinion plainly--except perhaps
-myself. I had seen more than the rest, though that was almost nothing. I
-had a feeling that there was an unknown story beneath, and somehow I had
-not the courage to say to Lady Denzil as I sat there alone with her, and
-had her perhaps at a disadvantage. ‘How like the child is to you!’ But
-other people were not so cowardly. Not long after, two or three of us
-met at the Lodge, at the hour of afternoon tea, which was an invention
-of the time which Lady Denzil had taken to very kindly. Among the rest
-was young Mrs. Plymley, who was not precisely one of us. She was one of
-the Herons of Marshfield, and she and her husband had taken Willowbrook
-for the summer. She was a pleasant little woman, but she was fond of
-talking--nobody could deny that. And she had children of her own, and
-made a great fuss over little Mary the moment she saw her. The child was
-too much a little lady to be disagreeable, but I could see she did not
-like to be lifted up on a stranger’s knee, and admired and chattered
-over. ‘I wish my Ada was half as pretty,’ Mrs. Plymley said; ‘but Ada is
-so like her poor dear papa,’ and here she pretended to sigh. ‘I am so
-fond of pretty children. It is hard upon me to have mine so plain. Oh,
-you little darling! Mary what? you have only told me half your name.
-Lady Denzil, one can see in a moment she belongs to you.’
-
-Lady Denzil at the moment was pouring out tea. All at once the silver
-teapot in her hand seemed to give a jerk, as if it were a living
-creature, and some great big boiling drops fell on her black dress. It
-was only for a single second, and she had presence of mind to set it
-down, and smile and say she was awkward, and it was nothing. ‘My arm is
-always shaky when I hold anything heavy,’ she said; ‘ever since I had
-the rheumatism in it. Then she turned to Mrs. Plymley, whose injudicious
-suggestion we had all forgotten in our fright. Perhaps Lady Denzil had
-lost her self-possession a little. Perhaps it was only that she thought
-it best to reply at once, so that everybody might hear. ‘Belongs to
-me?’ she said with her clear voice. And somehow we all felt immediately
-that something silly and uncalled for had been said.
-
-‘I mean your side of the house,’ said poor Mrs. Plymley abashed. She was
-young and nervous, and felt, like all the rest of us, that she was for
-the moment the culprit at the bar.
-
-‘She belongs to neither side of the house,’ said Lady Denzil, with even
-unnecessary distinctness. ‘Sir Thomas knows her people, and in his
-kindness he thought a change would be good for her. She is
-no--connection; nothing at all to us.’
-
-‘Oh, I am sure I beg your pardon,’ said Mrs. Plymley; and she let little
-Mary slide down from her lap, and looked very uncomfortable. None of us
-indeed were at our ease, for we had all been saying it in private. Only
-little Mary, standing in the middle, looked wistfully round upon us,
-questioning, yet undisturbed. And Lady Denzil, too, stood and looked. At
-that moment the likeness was stronger than ever.
-
-‘It is very droll,’ said Mrs. Damerel, the rector’s wife, whose eye was
-caught by it, like mine. ‘She is very like you, Lady Denzil; I never saw
-an incidental likeness so strong.’
-
-‘Poor little Mary! do you think she is like me?’ said Lady Denzil with a
-curious quiver in her voice; and she bent over the child all at once and
-kissed her. Sir Thomas had been at the other end of the room, quite out
-of hearing. I don’t know by what magnetism he could have known that
-something agitating was going on--I did not even see him approach or
-look; but all at once, just as his wife betrayed that strange thrill of
-feeling, Sir Thomas was at her elbow. He touched her arm quite lightly
-as he stood by her side.
-
-‘I should like some tea,’ he said.
-
-She stood up and looked at him for a moment as if she did not
-understand. And then she turned to the tea-table with something like a
-blush of shame on her face. Then he drew forward a chair and sat down by
-Mrs. Plymley and began to talk. He was a very good talker when he
-pleased, and in two seconds we had all wandered away to our several
-subjects, and were in full conversation again. But it was some time
-before Lady Denzil took any part in it. She was a long while pouring out
-those cups of tea. Little Mary, as if moved by some unconscious touch of
-sympathy, stole away with her doll into a corner. It was as if the two
-had been made out of the same material and thrilled to the same
-touch--they both turned their backs upon us for the moment. I don’t
-suppose anybody but myself noticed this; and to be sure it was simply
-because I had seen the meeting between them, and knew there was
-something in it more than the ordinary visit to the parents’ friends of
-a little delicate child.
-
-Besides, the child never looked like a little visitor; she had brought
-no maid with her, and she spoke very rarely of her home. I don’t know
-how she might be dressed under those brown holland overalls, but these
-were the only outside garb she ever wore. I don’t mean to say they were
-ugly or wanting in neatness; they were such things as the children at
-the Rectory wore in summer when they lived in the garden and the fields.
-But they did not look suitable for the atmosphere of the Lodge. By and
-by however these outer garments disappeared. The little creature
-blossomed out as it were out of her brown husk, and put forth new
-flowers. After the first few weeks she wore nothing but dainty white
-frocks, rich with needlework. I recognized Lady Denzil’s taste in
-everything she put on. It was clear that her little wardrobe was being
-silently renewed, and every pretty thing which a child of her age could
-fitly wear was being added to it. This could never have been done to a
-little visitor who had come for change of air. Then a maid was got for
-her, whom Lady Denzil was very particular about; and no one ever spoke
-of the time when little Mary should be going away. By degrees she grew
-to belong to the place, to be associated with everything in it. When you
-approached the house, which had always been so silent, perhaps it was a
-burst of sweet childish laughter that met your ears; perhaps a little
-song, or the pleasant sound of her little feet on the gravel in the
-sunny lime-walk. The servants were all utterly under her sway. They
-spoke of little Miss Mary as they might have spoken of a little princess
-whose word was law. As for Sir Thomas, I think he was the first subject
-in her realm. She took to patronizing and ordering him about before she
-had been a month at the Lodge. ‘Sir Thomas,’ she would say in her clear
-little voice, ‘come and walk;’ and the old gentleman would get up and go
-out with her, and hold wonderful conversations, as we could see, looking
-after them from the window. Lady Denzil did not seem either to pet her,
-or to devote herself to her, as all the rest of the house did. But there
-was something in her face when she looked at the child which passes
-description. It was a sort of ineffable content and satisfaction, as if
-she had all that heart could desire and asked no more. Little Mary
-watched her eye whenever they were together with a curious sympathy more
-extraordinary still. She seemed to know by intuition when my lady wanted
-her. ‘’Es, my lady,’ the child would say, watching with her sweet eyes.
-It was the only little divergence she made from correctness of speech,
-and somehow it pleased my ear. I suppose she said ‘My Lady’ because Sir
-Thomas did, and that I liked too. To an old lady like Lady Denzil it is
-such a pretty title; I fell into it myself without being aware.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-Thus the world went softly on, till the roses of June had come instead
-of the spring crocuses. Everything went on softly at the Green. True,
-there was a tragedy now and then, even among us, like that sad affair
-of Everard Stoke; and sometimes a very troublesome complication, going
-near to break some hearts, like that of Nelly Fortis--but for the most
-part we were quiet enough. And that was a very quiet time. Little Mary
-had grown the pet of the Green before June. The little Damerels, who
-were nice children enough, were not to be compared with her; and then
-there were so many of them, whereas Mary was all alone like a little
-star. We all petted her--but she was one of the children whom it is
-impossible to spoil. She was never pert or disagreeable, like little
-Agatha Damerel. She had her little childish fits of temper by times, but
-was always sorry and always sweet, with her soft appealing eyes--a
-little woman, but never knowing or forward, like so many children
-now-a-days. She was still but a baby, poor darling, not more than seven
-years old, when that dreadful scene broke in upon our quietness which I
-have now to tell.
-
-It was June, and there was a large party on the lawn before the Lodge.
-As long as the season lasted, while there were quantities of people in
-town, Lady Denzil often had these parties. We were all there of course;
-everybody on the Green whom she visited--(and I used to be very sorry
-for Mrs. Wood and her daughters when one of them was going to take
-place). We were in the habit of meeting continually in the same way, to
-see the young people play croquet and amuse themselves; and there was
-perhaps a little monotony in it. But Lady Denzil always took care to
-have some variety. There would be a fine lady or two from town, bringing
-with her a whiff of all the grandeurs and gaieties we had no particular
-share in, and setting an example to the girls in their dress and
-accessories. I never was extravagant in my dress, nor encouraged such a
-thing--I think no true lady ever does--but a real fashionable perfect
-toilette is generally so complete, and charming, and harmonious, that it
-is good for one to see it now and then, especially for girls, though of
-course ignorant persons and men don’t understand why. And then there
-were a few gentlemen--with all the gossip of the clubs, and town talk,
-which made a very pleasant change to us. It was an unusually brilliant
-party that day. There was the young Countess of Berkhampstead, who was a
-great beauty and had married so strangely; people said the Earl was not
-very right in his head, and told the oddest stories about him. Poor
-thing, I fear she could not help herself--but she was the loveliest
-creature imaginable, and very nice then, though she went wrong
-afterwards. She sat by Lady Denzil’s side on the sofa, which was placed
-just before the great bank of roses. It was pretty to see them together:
-the lovely young lady, with her fits of gaiety and pretty languid
-stillnesses, letting us all admire her as if she felt what a pleasure it
-was to us; and the lovely old lady, so serene, so fair, so kind. I don’t
-know, for my part, which was the more beautiful. There were other fine
-ladies besides Lady Berkhampstead, and, as I have just said, it was a
-very brilliant party. There never was a more glorious day; the sky was a
-delight to look at, and the rich full foliage of the trees clustered out
-against the blue, as if they leant caressingly upon the soft air around
-them. The breath of the roses went everywhere, and behind Lady Denzil’s
-sofa they threw themselves up into space--great globes of burning
-crimson, and delicate blush, and creamy white. They were very rich in
-roses at the Lodge--I remember one wall quite covered with the _Gloire
-de Dijon_--but that is a digression. It was a broad lawn, and left room
-for several sets of croquet players, besides all the other people. The
-house was on a higher level at one side, the grounds and woods behind,
-and in front over the ha-ha we had a pretty glimpse of the Green, where
-cricket was being played, and the distant houses on the other side. It
-was like fairy-land, with just a peep of the outer world, by which we
-kept hold upon the fact that we were human, and must trudge away
-presently to our little houses. On the grass before Lady Denzil little
-Mary was sitting, a little white figure, with a brilliant picture-book
-which somebody had brought her. She was seated sideways, half facing to
-Lady Denzil, half to the house, and giving everybody from time to time a
-look from her tender eyes. Her white frock which blazed in the sunshine
-was the highest light in the picture, as a painter would have said, and
-gave it a kind of centre. I was not playing croquet, and there came a
-moment when I was doing nothing particular, and therefore had time to
-remark upon the scene around me. As I raised my eyes, my attention was
-all at once attracted by a strange figure, quite alien to the group
-below, which stood on the approach to the house. The house, as I have
-said, was on a higher level, and consequently the road which approached
-it was higher too, on the summit of the bank which sloped down towards
-the lawn. A woman stood above gazing at us. At first it seemed to me
-that she was one of the servants: she had a cotton gown on, and a straw
-bonnet, and a little black silk cloak. I could not say that she was
-shabby or wretched-looking, but her appearance was a strange contrast to
-the pretty crowd on the lawn. She seemed to have been arrested on her
-way to the door by the sound of voices, and stood there looking down
-upon us--a strange, tall, threatening figure, which awoke, I could not
-tell how, a certain terror in my mind. By degrees it seemed to me that
-her gaze fixed upon little Mary--and I felt more frightened still;
-though what harm could any one do to the child with so many anxious
-protectors looking on? However people were intent upon their games, or
-their talks, or their companions, and nobody saw her but myself. At last
-I got so much alarmed that I left my seat to tell Sir Thomas of her. I
-had just made one step towards him, when all at once, with a strange
-cry, the woman darted down the bank. It was at little Mary she flew: she
-rushed down upon her like a tempest, and seized the child, crushing up
-her pretty white frock and her dear little figure violently in her
-arms. I cried out too in my fright--for I thought she was mad--and
-various people sprang from their chairs, one of the last to be roused
-being Lady Denzil, who was talking very earnestly to Lady Berkhampstead.
-The woman gave a great loud passionate outcry as she seized upon little
-Mary. And the child cried out too, one single word which in a moment
-transfixed me where I stood, and caught Lady Denzil’s ear like the sound
-of a trumpet. It was a cry almost like a moan, full of terror and dismay
-and repugnance; and yet it was one of the sweetest words that ever falls
-on human ears. The sound stopped everything, even the croquet, and
-called Sir Thomas forward from the other end of the lawn. The one word
-that Mary uttered, that filled us all with such horror and
-consternation, was ‘Mamma!’
-
-‘Yes, my darling,’ cried the woman, holding her close, crumpling, even
-crushing her up in her arms. ‘They took you from me when I wasn’t
-myself! Did I know where they were going to bring you? Here! Oh, yes, I
-see it all now. Don’t touch my child! don’t interfere with my
-child!--she sha’n’t stay here another day. Her father would curse her if
-he knew she was here.’
-
-‘Oh, please set me down,’ said little Mary. ‘Oh, mamma, please don’t
-hurt me. Oh, my lady!’ cried the poor child, appealing to her
-protectress. Lady Denzil got up tottering as she heard this cry. She
-came forward with every particle of colour gone from her face. She was
-so agitated her lips could scarcely form the words; but she had the
-courage to lay her hand upon the woman’s arm,--
-
-‘Set her down,’ she said. ‘If you have any claim--set her down--it shall
-be seen into. Sir Thomas----’
-
-The stranger turned upon her. She was a woman about five-and-thirty,
-strong and bold and vigorous. I don’t deny she was a handsome woman. She
-had big blazing black eyes, and a complexion perhaps a little heightened
-by her walk in the heat. She turned upon Lady Denzil, shaking off her
-hand, crushing little Mary still closer in one arm, and raising the
-other with a wild theatrical gesture.
-
-‘You!’ she cried; ‘if I were to tell her father she was with you, he
-would curse her. How dare you look me in the face--a woman that’s come
-after her child! you that gave up your own flesh and blood. Ay! You may
-stare at her, all you fine folks. There’s the woman that sold her son to
-marry her master. She’s got her grandeur, and all she bid for; and she
-left her boy to be brought up in the streets, and go for a common
-soldier. And she’s never set eyes on him, never since he was two years
-old; and now she’s come and stole my little Mary from me!’
-
-Before this speech was half spoken every soul in the place had crowded
-round to hear. No one thought how rude it was. Utter consternation was
-in everybody’s look. As for Lady Denzil, she stood like a statue, as
-white as marble, in the same spot, hearing it all. She did not move.
-She was like an image set down there, capable of no individual action.
-She stood and gazed, and heard it all, and saw us all listening. I
-cannot tell what dreadful pangs were rending her heart; but she stood
-like a dead woman in the sunshine, neither contradicting her accuser nor
-making even one gesture in her own defence.
-
-Then Sir Thomas, on whom there had surely been some spell, came forward,
-dividing the crowd, and took the stranger by the arm. ‘Set down the
-child,’ he said in a shaking voice. ‘Set her down. How dare _you_ speak
-of a mother’s rights? Did you ever do anything for her? Set down the
-child, woman! You have no business here.’
-
-‘I never forsook my own flesh and blood,’ cried the enraged creature,
-letting poor little Mary almost fall down out of her arms, but keeping
-fast hold of her. ‘I’ve a better right here than any of these strangers.
-I’m her son’s wife. She’s little Mary’s grandmother, though she’ll deny
-it. She’s that kind of woman that would deny to her last breath. I know
-she would. She’s the child’s grandmother. She’s my mother-in-law. She’s
-never seen her son since he was two years old. If he hears the very name
-of mother he curses and swears. Let me alone, I have come for my child!
-And I’ve come to give that woman her due!’
-
-‘Go!’ cried Sir Thomas. His voice was awful. He would not touch her, for
-he was a gentleman; but the sound of his voice made my very knees bend
-and tremble. ‘Go!’ he said--‘not a word more.’ He was so overcome at
-last that he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away, and
-wildly beckoned to the servants, who were standing listening too. The
-woman grasped little Mary by her dress. She crushed up the child’s
-pretty white cape in her hot hand and dragged her along with her. But
-she obeyed. She dared not resist his voice; and she had done all the
-harm it was possible to do.
-
-‘I’ll go,’ she said. ‘None of you had better touch me. I’m twice as
-strong as you, though you’re a man. But I’ll go. She knows what I think
-of her now; and you all know what she is!’ she cried, raising her voice.
-‘To marry that old man, she deserted her child at two years old, and
-never set eyes on him more. That’s Lady Denzil. Now you all know, ladies
-and gentlemen; and I’ll go.’
-
-All this time Lady Denzil never stirred; but when the woman moved away,
-dragging little Mary with her, all at once my lady stretched out her
-hands and gave a wild cry. ‘The child!’ she cried; ‘the child!’ And then
-the little thing turned to her with that strange sympathy we had all
-noticed. I don’t know how she twitched herself out of her mother’s
-excited, passionate grasp, but she rushed back and threw herself at Lady
-Denzil’s feet, and clutched hold of her dress. My lady, who had not
-moved nor spoken except those two words--who was old and capable of no
-such exertion, stooped over her and lifted her up. I never saw such a
-sight. She was as pale as if she had been dead. She had received such a
-shock as might well have killed her. Notwithstanding, this is what she
-did. She lifted up the child in her arms, broke away from us who were
-surrounding her, mounted the steep bank like a girl, with her treasure
-clasped close to her bosom, and before any one knew, before there was
-time to speak, or even almost think, had disappeared with her into the
-house. The woman would have rushed at her, sprung upon her, if she had
-not been held fast. It may easily be imagined what a scene it was when
-the mistress of the feast disappeared, and a family secret so
-extraordinary was thus tossed to public discussion. The house door rang
-after Lady Denzil, as she rushed in, with a sound like a cannon shot.
-The stranger stood struggling in the midst of a group of men, visitors
-and servants, some of whom were trying to persuade, some to force her
-away. Sir Thomas stood by himself, with his old pale hands piteously
-clasped together, and his head bent. He was overwhelmed by shame and
-trouble, and the shock of this frightful scene. He did not seem able for
-the first moment to face any one, to lift his eyes to the disturbed and
-fluttering crowd, who were so strangely in the way. And we all stood
-about thunderstruck, staring in each other’s faces, not knowing what to
-do or to say. Lady Berkhampstead, with the instinct of a great lady, was
-the first to recover herself. She turned to me, I scarcely know why, nor
-could she have told why. ‘I know my carriage is waiting,’ she said, ‘and
-I could not think of disturbing dear Lady Denzil to say good-bye. Will
-you tell her how sorry I am to go away without seeing her?’ They all
-came crowding round me with almost the same words, as soon as she had
-set the example. And presently Sir Thomas roused up as it were from his
-stupor. And for the next few minutes there was nothing but shaking of
-hands, and the rolling up of carriages, and an attempt on the part of
-everybody to smile and look as if nothing had happened. ‘So long as it
-does not make dear Lady Denzil ill,’ one of the ladies said. ‘This is
-one of the dangers of living so close upon the road. It might have
-happened to any of us,’ said another. ‘Of course the creature is mad;
-she should be shut up somewhere.’ They said such words with the natural
-impulse of saying anything to break the terrible impression of the
-scene; but they were all almost as much shocked and shaken as the
-principals in it. I never saw such a collection of pale faces as those
-that went from the Lodge that afternoon. I was left last of all. Somehow
-the woman who had made so dreadful a disturbance had disappeared without
-anybody knowing where. Sir Thomas and I were left alone on the lawn,
-which ten minutes ago--I don’t think it was longer--had been so gay and
-so crowded. So far as I was myself concerned, that was the most trying
-moment of all. Everybody had spoken to me as if I belonged to the house,
-but in reality I did not belong to the house; and I felt like a spy as I
-stood with Sir Thomas all alone. And what was worse, he felt it too,
-and looked at me with the forced painful smile he had put on for the
-others, as if he felt I was just like them, and it was also needful for
-me.
-
-‘I beg your pardon for staying,’ I said, ‘don’t you think I could be of
-any use? Lady Denzil perhaps----’
-
-Sir Thomas took my hand and shook it in an imperative way. ‘No, no,’ he
-said with his set smile. He even turned me towards the gate and touched
-my shoulder with his agitated hand--half no doubt, because he knew I
-meant kindly--but half to send me away.
-
-‘She might like me to do something,’ I said piteously. But all that Sir
-Thomas did was to wring my hand and pat my shoulder, and say, ‘No, no.’
-I was obliged to follow the rest with an aching heart. As I went out one
-of the servants came after me. It was a man who had been long in the
-family, and knew a great deal about the Denzils. He came to tell me he
-was very much frightened about the woman, who had disappeared nobody
-could tell how. ‘I’m afraid she’s hiding about somewhere,’ he said, ‘to
-come again.’ And then he glanced round to see that nobody was by, and
-looked into my face. ‘All that about my lady is true,’ he said--‘true as
-gospel. I’ve knowed it this forty years.’
-
-‘They’ve been very kind to you, Wellman,’ I said indignantly--‘for
-shame! to think you should turn upon your good mistress now.’
-
-‘Turn upon her!’ said Wellman; ‘not if I was to be torn in little bits;
-but being such a friend of the family, I thought it might be a
-satisfaction to you, ma’am, to know as it was true.’
-
-If anything could have made my heart more heavy I think it would have
-been that. He thought it would be a satisfaction to me to know! And
-after the first moment of pity was past, were there not some people to
-whom it would be a satisfaction to know? who would tell it all over and
-gloat upon it, and say to each other that pride went before a fall? My
-heart was almost bursting as I crossed the Green in the blazing
-afternoon sunshine, and saw the cricketers still playing as if nothing
-had happened. Ah me! was this what brought such sad indulgent experience
-to Lady Denzil’s eyes?--was this what made her know by instinct when
-anything was wrong in a house? I could not think at first what a
-terrible accusation it was that had been brought against her. I thought
-only of her look, of her desperate snatch at the child, of her rush up
-the steep bank with little Mary in her arms. She could scarcely have
-lifted the child under ordinary circumstances--what wild despair, what
-longing must have stimulated her to such an effort! I put down my veil
-to cover my tears. Dear Lady Denzil! how sweet she was, how tender, how
-considerate of everybody. Blame never crossed her lips. I cannot
-describe the poignant aching sense of her suffering that grew upon me
-till I reached my own house. When I was there, out of sight of
-everybody, I sat down and cried bitterly. And then gradually, by degrees
-it broke upon me what it was that had happened--what the misery was, and
-the shame.
-
-She must have done it forty years ago, as Wellman said, when she was
-quite young, and no doubt ignorant of the awful thing she was doing. She
-had done it, and she had held by it ever since--had given her child up
-at two years old, and had never seen him again. Good Lord! could any
-woman do that and live? Her child, two years old. My mind seemed to grow
-bewildered going over and over that fact: for evidently it was a fact.
-Her child--her own son.
-
-And for forty years! To keep it all up and stand by it, and never to
-flinch or falter. If it is difficult to keep to a good purpose for so
-long, what can it be to keep by an evil one? How could she do it? Then a
-hundred little words she had said came rushing into my mind. And that
-look--the look she cast after the deserter on the road! I understood it
-all now. Her heart had been longing for him all the time. She had loved
-her child more than other mothers love, every day of all that time.
-
-Poor Lady Denzil! dear Lady Denzil! this was the end of all my
-reasonings on the matter. I went over it again and again, but I never
-came to any ending but this:--The thing was dreadful; but she was not
-dreadful. There was no change in her. I did not realize any guilt on her
-part. My heart only bled for the long anguish she had suffered, and for
-the shock she was suffering from now.
-
-But before evening on this very same day my house was filled with people
-discussing the whole story. No one had heard any more than I had heard:
-but by this time a thousand versions of the story were afloat. Some
-people said she had gone astray when she was young, and had been cast
-off by her family, and that Sir Thomas had rescued her; and there were
-whispers that such stories were not so rare, if we knew all: a vile echo
-that always breathes after a real tragedy. And some said she was of no
-family, but had been the former Lady Denzil’s maid; some thought it was
-Sir Thomas’s own son that had been thus cast away; some said he had been
-left on the streets and no provision made for him. My neighbours went
-into a hundred details. Old Mr. Clifford thought it was a bad story
-indeed; and the rector shook his head, and said that for a person in
-Lady Denzil’s position such a scandal was dreadful; it was such an
-example to the lower classes. Mrs. Damerel was still more depressed. She
-said she would not be surprised at anything Molly Jackson could do after
-this. As for Mrs. Wood, who came late in the evening, all agape to
-inquire into the news, there was something like a malicious satisfaction
-in her face, I lost all patience when she appeared. I had compelled
-myself to bear what the others said, but I would not put up with her.
-
-‘Lady Denzil is my dear friend,’ I broke out, not without tears; ‘a
-great trouble has come upon her. A madwoman has been brought against her
-with an incredible story; and when a story is incredible people always
-believe it. If you want to hear any more, go to other people who were
-present. I can’t tell you anything, and if I must say so, I won’t.’
-
-‘Good gracious, Mrs. Mulgrave, don’t go out of your senses!’ said my
-visitor. ‘If Lady Denzil has done something dreadful, that does not
-affect you!’
-
-‘But it does affect me,’ I said, ‘infinitely; it clouds over heaven and
-earth; it changes--Never mind, I cannot tell you anything about it. If
-you are anxious to hear, you must go to some one else than me.’
-
-‘Well, I am very glad I was not there,’ said Mrs. Wood, ‘with my
-innocent girls. I am very glad now I never made any attempt to make
-friends with her, though you know how often you urged me to do it. I am
-quite happy to think I did not yield to you now.’
-
-I had no spirit to contradict this monstrous piece of pretence. I was
-glad to get rid of her anyhow; for though I might feel myself for an
-instant supported by my indignation, the blow had gone to my heart, and
-I had no strength to struggle against it. The thought of all that Lady
-Denzil might be suffering confused me with a dull sense of pain. And yet
-things were not then at their worst with my lady. Next morning it was
-found that little Mary had been stolen away.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-That was a dreadful morning on the Green. After the lovely weather we
-had been having, all the winds and all the fiends seemed to have been
-unchained. It blew a hurricane during the night, and next day the Green
-was covered with great branches of trees which had been torn off and
-scattered about like wreck on a seashore. After this came rain; it
-poured as if the windows of heaven were opened, when Sir Thomas himself
-stepped in upon me like a ghost, as I sat at my solitary breakfast.
-These twenty-four hours had passed over him like so many years. He was
-haggard and ashy pale, and feeble. His very mind seemed to be confused.
-‘We have lost the child,’ he said to me, with a voice from which all
-modulation and softness had gone. ‘Will you come and see my wife?’
-
-‘Lost! little Mary?’ I cried.
-
-And then all his courage gave way; he sat down speechless, with his lips
-quivering, and bitter tears in his worn old eyes. Then he got up
-restless and shaking. ‘Come to my wife,’ he said. There was not another
-word exchanged between us. I put on my cloak with the hood over my head,
-and went with him on the moment. As we crossed the Green a sort of
-procession arrived, two or three great vans packed with people, with
-music and flags, which proceeded to discharge their contents at the
-‘Barley-Mow’ under the soaking rain. They had come for a day’s pleasure,
-poor creatures, and this was the sort of day they got. The sight of them
-is so associated in my mind with that miserable moment, that I don’t
-think I could forget it were I to live a hundred years. It seemed to
-join on somehow to the tragical breaking-up of the party on the day
-before. There was nothing wrong now but in the elements; yet it chimed
-in with its little sermon on the vanity of all things. My lady was in
-her own room when I entered the Lodge. The shock had struck her down,
-but she was not calm enough, or weak enough to go to bed. She lay on a
-sofa in her dressing-gown; she was utterly pale, not a touch of her
-sweet colour left, and her hands shook as she held them out to me. She
-held them out, and looked up in my face with appealing eyes, which put
-me in mind of little Mary’s. And then, when I stooped down over her in
-the impulse of the moment to kiss her, she pressed my hands so in hers,
-that frail and thin as her fingers were, I almost cried out with pain.
-Mrs. Florentine, her old maid, stood close by the head of her mistress’s
-sofa. She stood looking on very grave and steady, without any surprise,
-as if she knew it all.
-
-For a few minutes Lady Denzil could not speak. And when she did, her
-words came out with a burst, all at once. ‘Did he tell you?’ she said.
-‘I thought you would help me. You have nobody to keep you back; neither
-husband nor---- I said I was sure of you.’
-
-‘Dear Lady Denzil,’ I said, ‘if I can do anything--to the utmost of my
-strength----’
-
-She held my hand fast, and looked at me as if she would look me through
-and through. ‘That was what I said--that was what I said!’ she cried;
-‘you _can_ do what your heart says; you can bring her back to me; my
-child, my little child! I never had but a little child--never that I
-knew!’
-
-‘I will do whatever you tell me,’ I said, trying to soothe her; ‘but oh!
-don’t wear yourself out. You will be ill if you give way.’
-
-I said this, I suppose, because everybody says it when any one is in
-trouble. I don’t know any better reason. ‘That’s what I’m always telling
-my lady, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Florentine; ‘but she pays no heed to me.’
-
-Lady Denzil gave us both a faint little smile. She knew too much not to
-know how entirely a matter of conventional routine it was that we should
-say this to her. She made a pause, and then she took my hand once more.
-
-‘I ought to tell you,’ she said--‘it is all true--every word. Florentine
-knows everything, from the first to the last. I was a poor soldier’s
-widow, and I was destitute. I was too young to know what I was doing,
-and I was pretty, they said, and there were men that would have taken
-advantage of my simplicity. But Sir Thomas was never like that. I
-married him to buy a livelihood for my child; and he was very good to
-me. When he married me, I was a forlorn young creature, with nothing to
-give my helpless baby. I gave up my child, Florentine knows; and yet
-every day, every year of his life, I’ve followed him in my heart. If he
-had been living in my sight, I could not have known more of him. What I
-say is every word true, Florentine will tell you. I want you,’ grasping
-my hand tightly, ‘to tell everything to _him_.’
-
-‘To him!’ said I, with a gasp of astonishment, not knowing what she
-meant.
-
-‘Yes,’ said Lady Denzil, holding my hand fast, ‘to my boy--I want you to
-see my boy. Tell him there has never been a day I have not followed him
-in my heart. All his wilfulness I have felt was my fault. I have prayed
-God on my knees to lay the blame on me. That day when I saw the
-deserter--I want you to tell him everything. I want you to ask him to
-give me back the child.’
-
-I gave a cry of astonishment; an exclamation which I could not restrain.
-‘Can you expect it?’ I said.
-
-‘Ah, yes, I expect it,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘not that I have any right--I
-expect it from his heart. Florentine will tell you everything. It is she
-who has watched over him. We never talked of anything else, she and I;
-never a day all these forty years but I have figured to myself what my
-darling was doing; I say my darling,’ she cried as with a sharp pang,
-with a sudden gush of tears, ‘and he is a man and a soldier, and in
-prison. Think of that, and think of all I have had to bear!’
-
-I could not make any answer. I could only press her hand with a dumb
-sympathy. As for Mrs. Florentine, she stood with her eyes cast down, and
-smoothed the chintz cover with her hand, taking no part by look or word.
-The story was no surprise to her. She knew everything about it; she was
-a chief actor in it; she had no need to show any sympathy. The union
-between her mistress and herself was deeper than that.
-
-‘When he married this woman, I was ready to believe it would be for his
-good,’ said my lady, when she had recovered herself. ‘I thought it was
-somehow giving him back what I had taken from him. I sent her presents
-secretly. He has been very, very wilful; and Sir Thomas was so good to
-him! He took his mother from him; but he gave him money, education,
-everything a young man wants. There are many young men,’ said Lady
-Denzil pathetically, ‘who think but little of their mothers--’ and then
-she made a pause. ‘There was young Clifford, for example,’ she added,
-‘and the rector’s brother who ran away--their mothers broke their
-hearts, but the boys did not care much. I have suffered in everything he
-suffered by; but yet if he had been here, perhaps he would not have
-cared for me.’
-
-‘That is not possible,’ I said, not seeing what she meant.
-
-‘Oh, it is possible, very possible,’ she said. ‘I have seen it times
-without number. I have tried to take a little comfort from it. If it
-had been a girl, I would never, never have given her up; but a boy----
-That was what I thought. I don’t defend myself. Let him be the judge--I
-want him to be the judge. That woman is a wicked woman; she has
-disgraced him and left him; she will bring my child up to ruin. Ask him
-to give me back my poor little child.’
-
-‘I will do what I can,’ I said, faltering. I was pledged; yet how was I
-to do it? My courage failed me as I sat by her dismayed and received my
-commission. When she heard the tremulous sound of my voice, she turned
-round to me and held my hand close in hers once more.
-
-‘You can do everything,’ she said. Her voice had suddenly grown hoarse.
-She was at such a supreme height of emotion, that the sight of her
-frightened me. I kissed her; I soothed her; I promised to do whatever
-she would. And then she became impatient that I should set out. She was
-not aware of the rain or the storm. She was too much absorbed in her
-trouble even to hear the furious wail of the wind and the blast of rain
-against the windows: but had I been in her case she would have done as
-much for me. Before Florentine followed me with my cloak, I had made up
-my mind not to lose any more time. It was from her I got all the
-details: the poor fellow’s name, and where he was, and all about him. He
-had been very wild, Florentine said. Sir Thomas had done everything for
-him; but he had not been grateful, and had behaved very badly. His wife
-was an abandoned woman, wicked and shameless; and he too had taken to
-evil courses. He had strained Sir Thomas’s patience to the utmost time
-after time. And then he had enlisted. His regiment was in the Tower, and
-he was under confinement there for insubordination. Such was the brief
-story. ‘Many a time I’ve thought, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Florentine, ‘if my
-lady did but know him as she was a-breaking of her heart for! If he’d
-been at home he’d have killed her. But all she knows is that he’s her
-child--to love, and nothing more.’
-
-‘The Tower is a long way from our railway,’ I said; ‘but it does not
-much matter in a cab.’
-
-‘Law, ma’am, you’re never going to-day?’ said Florentine. But I had no
-intention of arguing the question with her. I went into the library to
-Sir Thomas to bid him good-bye. And he too was amazed when I told him.
-He took my hand as his wife had done, and shook it, and looked pitifully
-into my face. ‘It is I who ought to go,’ he said. But he knew as well as
-I did that it was impossible for him to go. He ordered the carriage to
-come round for me, and brought me wine--some wonderful old wine he had
-in his cellar, which I knew no difference in from the commonest sherry.
-But it pleased him, I suppose, to think he had given me his best. And
-before I went away, he gave me much more information about the
-unfortunate man I was going to see. ‘He is not bad at heart,’ said Sir
-Thomas; ‘I don’t think he is bad at heart; but his wife is a wicked
-woman.’ And when I was going away, he stooped his gray aged countenance
-over me, and kissed me solemnly on the forehead. When I found myself
-driving along the wet roads, with the rain sweeping so in the horses’
-faces that it was all the half-blinded coachman could do to keep them
-going against the wind, I was so bewildered by my own position that I
-felt stupid for the moment. I was going to the Tower to see Sergeant
-Gray, in confinement for disrespect to his superior officer--going to
-persuade him to exert himself to take his child from his wife’s custody,
-and give her to his mother, whom he did not know! I had not even heard
-how it was that little Mary had been stolen away. I had taken that for
-granted, in face of the immediate call upon me. I had indeed been swept
-up as it were by the strong wind of emotion, and carried away and thrust
-forward into a position I could not understand. Then I recognized the
-truth of Lady Denzil’s words. I had nobody to restrain me: no husband at
-home to find fault with anything I might do; nobody to wonder, or fret,
-or be annoyed by the burden I had taken upon me. The recollection made
-my heart swell a little, not with pleasure. And yet it was very true.
-Poor Mr. Mulgrave, had he been living, was a man who would have been
-sure to find fault. It is dreary to think of one’s self as of so little
-importance to any one; but perhaps one ought to think more than one
-does, that if the position is a dreary one, it has its benefits too. One
-is free to do what one pleases. I could answer to myself; I had no one
-else to answer to. At such a moment there was an advantage in that.
-
-At the station I met the rector, who was going to town by the same
-train. ‘Bless my soul, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ he said, ‘what a dreadful day you
-have chosen for travelling. I thought there was no one afloat on the
-world but me.’
-
-‘There was no choice, Mr. Damerel,’ I said. ‘I am going about business
-which cannot be put off.’
-
-He was very kind: he got my ticket for me, and put me into a carriage,
-and did not insist that I should talk to him on the way up. He talked
-enough himself it is true, but he was satisfied when I said yes and no.
-Just before we got to town however he returned to my errand. ‘If your
-business is anything I can do for you,’ he said, ‘if there is anything
-that a man could look after better than a lady--you know how glad I
-should be to be of any use.’
-
-‘Thank you,’ I said. My feelings were not mirthful, but yet I could have
-burst out laughing. I wonder if there is really any business that a man
-can do better than a lady, when it happens to be _her_ business and not
-his? I have never got much help in that way from the men that have
-belonged to me. And to think of putting my delicate, desperate business
-into Mr. Damerel’s soft, clerical hands, that had no bone in them! He
-got me a cab, which was something--though to be sure a porter would have
-done it quite as well--and opened his eyes to their utmost width when
-he heard me tell the coachman to go to the Tower.
-
-What a drive it was! our thirty miles of railway was nothing to it:
-through all those damp, dreary, glistening London streets--streets
-narrow and drearily vicious; streets still more drearily respectable;
-desert lines of warehouses and offices; crowded thoroughfares with
-dreary vehicles in a lock, and dreary people crowding about surmounted
-with umbrellas--miles upon miles, streets upon streets, from Paddington
-to the Tower. I think it was the first drive of the kind I ever took,
-and if you can suppose me wrapped up in my waterproof cloak, a little
-excited about the unknown man I was going to see; trying to form my
-sentences, what I was to say; pondering how I should bring in my
-arguments best; wondering where I should have to go to find the mother
-and the child. Poor little Mary! after the little gleam of love and of
-luxury that had opened upon her, to be snatched off into the dreary
-world of poverty, with a violent mother whom it was evident she feared!
-And poor mother too! She might be violent and yet might love her child;
-she might be wicked and yet might love her child. To go and snatch the
-little creature back, at all hazards, was an act which to the popular
-mind would always look like a much higher strain of virtue than dear
-Lady Denzil’s abandonment. I could not defend Lady Denzil, even to
-myself; and what could I say for her to her son, who knew her not?
-
-At least an hour was lost before I got admittance to Sergeant Gray. As
-it happened, by a fortunate chance, Robert Seymour was colonel of the
-regiment, and came to my assistance. But for that I might have failed
-altogether. Robert was greatly amazed by the request I made him, but of
-course he did what I wanted. He told me Sergeant Gray was not in prison,
-but simply confined to his quarters, and that he was a very strange sort
-of man. ‘I should like to know what you can want with him,’ he said.
-‘Yes, of course, I am dreadfully curious--men are--you know it is our
-weakness. You may as well tell me what you want with Gray.’
-
-‘It is nothing to laugh about,’ said I; ‘it is more tragic than comical.
-I have a message to him from his mother. And there is not a moment to
-lose.’
-
-‘I understand,’ said Robert, ‘I am to take myself off. Here is the door;
-but you must tell me anything you know about him when you have seen him.
-He is the strangest fellow in the regiment. I never can make him out.’
-
-And in two minutes more I was face to face with Sergeant Gray.
-
-He must have been like his father. There was not a feature in his face
-which recalled Lady Denzil’s. He was an immensely tall, powerful man,
-with strong chestnut brown hair, and vigour and life in every line of
-his great frame. I expected to find a prisoner partially sentimental;
-and I found a big man in undress marching freely about his room, with a
-long pipe by the fire, and his beer and glasses on the table. I had
-expected a refined man, bearing traces of gentleman written on him, and
-the fine tastes that became Lady Denzil’s son. There _was_ something
-about him, when one came to look at him a second time--but what was it?
-Traces of dissipation, a look of bravado, an instant standing to his
-arms in self-defence, whatever I might have come to accuse him of; and
-the insufferable coxcomb air which comes naturally to the meanest member
-of the household troops. Such was the rapid impression I formed as I
-went in. He took off his cap with an air of amazement yet assurance, but
-put it on again immediately. I stood trembling before this big,
-irreverent, unknown man. If the door had been open I think I should have
-run away. But as it was I had no resource.
-
-‘Mr. Gray,’ I said all at once, half from cowardice, half to get it
-over, ‘I have come to you--from your mother.’
-
-The man actually staggered as he stood before me--he fell back and gazed
-at me as if I had been a ghost. ‘From my--mother?’ he said, and his lips
-seemed to refuse articulation. His surprise vanquished him; which was
-more than with my individual forces I could have hoped to do.
-
-‘From your mother,’ I repeated. ‘I have come direct from her, where she
-is lying ill and much shaken. She has told me all her story--and I love
-her dearly--that is why she sent me to you.’
-
-All the time I was speaking he stood still and stared at me; but when I
-stopped, he appeared gradually to come to himself. He brought forward,
-from where it stood against the wall, very deliberately, another chair,
-and sitting down looked at me intently. ‘If she has told you all her
-story,’ he said, ‘you will know how little inducement I have to listen
-to anything she may say.’
-
-‘Yes,’ said I, feeling not a fictitious but a real passion swelling up
-into my throat, ‘she has told me everything, more than you can know. She
-has told me how for forty years--is it forty years?--she has watched
-over you in secret, spent her days in thinking of you, and her nights in
-praying for you. Ah, don’t smile! if you had seen her pale and broken in
-all her pride, lying trembling and telling me this, it would have
-touched your heart.’
-
-And I could see that it did touch his heart, being so new and unusual to
-him. He was not a cynical, over-educated man, accustomed to such
-appeals, and to believe them nonsense. And it touched him, being so
-unexpected. Then he made a little effort to recover himself, and the
-natural bravado of his character and profession. ‘In all her pride!’ he
-said bitterly. ‘Yes, that’s very well said; she liked her pride better
-than me.’
-
-‘She liked your life better than you,’ said I--and heaven forgive me if
-I spoke like a sophist--‘and your comfort. To secure bread to you and
-education she made that vow. When she had once made it, she had to keep
-it. But I tell you what she told me not three hours ago. “There has
-never been a day I have not followed him in my heart.” That is what she
-said. She and her old maid who used to see you and watch over you talked
-of nothing else. Fancy! you a young man growing up, taking your own way,
-going against the wishes of your best friends; and your mother, who
-dared not go to you, watching you from far off, weeping over you,
-praying on her knees, thinking of nothing else, talking of nothing else
-when she was alone and dared do it. At other times she had to go into
-the world to please her husband, to act as if you had no existence. And
-all the time she was thinking of nothing but you in her heart.’
-
-He had got up before I came so far. He was unquestionably moved; his
-step got quicker and quicker. He made impatient gestures with his hands
-as if to put my voice away. But all the same he listened to me greedily.
-When I had done--and I got so excited that I was compelled to be done,
-for tears came into my throat and choked me--he turned to me with his
-face strongly swept by winds of feeling. ‘Who told you?’ he cried
-abruptly. ‘Why do you come to disturb me? I was thinking nothing about
-my circumstances. I was thinking how I could best be jolly in such a
-position. What do I know about anybody who may choose to call herself my
-mother? Probably I never had a mother. I can do nothing for her, and she
-can do nothing for me.’
-
-‘You can do something for her,’ I cried. ‘She sent me to you to beg it
-of you. Sir Thomas saw how your wife was living. He saw she should not
-have a little girl to ruin. He brought away the child. I was there when
-he came home. Your mother knew in a moment who it was, though he never
-said a word. She rushed to her, and fell on her knees, and cried as if
-her heart would break. She thought God had sent the child. Little Mary
-is so like her, so like her! You cannot think how beautiful it was to
-see them together. Look! if you don’t know what your mother is, look at
-that face.’
-
-He had stood as if stupefied, staring at me. When I mentioned his wife
-he had made an angry gesture; but his heart melted altogether when I
-came to little Mary. I had brought Lady Denzil’s photograph with me,
-thinking it might touch his heart, and now I thrust it into his hand
-before he knew what I meant. He gave one glance at it, and then he fell
-back into his chair, and gazed and gazed, as if he had lost himself. He
-was not prepared. He had been wilful--perhaps wicked--but his heart had
-not got hardened like that of a man of the world. It had been outside
-evils he had done, outside influences that had moved him. When anything
-struck deep at his heart he had no armour to resist the blow. He went
-back upon his chair with a stride, hiding from me, or trying to hide,
-that he was obliged to do it to keep himself steady; he knitted his
-brows over the little picture as if it was hard to see it. But he might
-have spared himself the trouble. I saw how it was. One does not live in
-the world and learn men’s ways for nought: I knew his eyes were filling
-with tears; I knew that sob was climbing up into his throat; and I did
-not say a word more. It was a lovely little photograph. The sun is often
-so kind to old women. It was my lady with all the softness of her white
-hair, with her gracious looks, her indulgent, benign eyes. And those
-eyes were little Mary’s eyes. They went straight into the poor fellow’s
-heart. After he had struggled as long as he could, the sob actually
-broke out. Then he straightened himself up all at once, and looked at me
-fiercely; but I knew better than to pretend to hear him.
-
-‘This is nothing to the purpose,’ he said; and then he stopped, and
-nature burst forth. ‘Why did she cast me upon the world? Why did she
-give me up? You are a good woman, and you are her friend. Why did she
-cast me away?’
-
-I shook my head, it was all I could do. I was crying, and I could not
-articulate. ‘God knows!’ I gasped through my tears. And he got up and
-went to the window, and turning his back on me, held up the little
-picture to the light. I watched no longer what he was doing. Nature was
-working her own way in his heart.
-
-When he turned round at last, he came up to me and held out his hand.
-‘Thank you,’ he said, in a way that, for the first time, reminded me of
-Lady Denzil. ‘You have made me think less harshly about my mother. What
-is it she wants me to do?’
-
-He did not put down the photograph, or give it back to me, but held it
-closely in his hand, which gave me courage. And then I entered upon my
-story. When I told him how his wife had insulted his mother, his face
-grew purple. I gave him every detail: how little Mary clung to my lady;
-how frightened she was of the passionate claimant who seized her. When I
-repeated her little cry, ‘My lady!’ a curious gleam passed over his
-face. He interrupted me at that point. ‘Who is my lady?’ he said, with a
-strange consciousness. The only answer I made was to point at the
-photograph. It made the most curious impression on him. Evidently he had
-not even known his mother’s name. Almost, I think, the title threw a new
-light for him upon all the circumstances. There are people who will say
-that this was from a mean feeling; but it was from no mean feeling. He
-saw by this fact what a gulf she had put between herself and him. He saw
-a certain reason in the separation which, if she had been a woman of
-different position, could not have existed. And there is no man living
-who is not susceptible to the world’s opinion of the people he is
-interested in. He changed almost imperceptibly--unawares. He heard all
-the rest of my story in grave silence. I told him what my lady had
-said--that he was to be the judge; and henceforward it was with the
-seriousness of a judge that he sat and listened. He heard me out every
-word, and then he sat and seemed to turn it over in his mind. So far as
-I was concerned, that was the hardest moment of all. His face was stern
-in its composure. He was reflecting, putting this and that together.
-His mother was standing at the bar before him. And what should I do, did
-he decide against her? Thus I sat waiting and trembling. When he opened
-his lips my heart jumped to my mouth. How foolish it was! That was not
-what he had been thinking of. Instead of his mother at the bar, it was
-his own life he had been turning over in his mind. It all came forth
-with a burst when he began to speak: the chances he had lost; the misery
-that had come upon him; the shame of the woman who bore his name; and
-his poor little desolate child. Then the man forgot himself, and swore a
-great oath. ‘As soon as I am free I will go and get her, and send her
-to---- my lady!’ he said, with abrupt, half-hysterical vehemence. And
-then he rose suddenly and went to the window, and turned his back on me
-again.
-
-I was overcome. I did not expect it so soon, or so fully. I could have
-thrown myself upon his neck, poor fellow, and wept. Was he the one to
-bear the penalties of all? sinned against by his mother in his
-childhood, and more dreadfully by his wife in his maturity. What had he
-done that the closest of earthly ties should thus be made a torment to
-him? When I had come to myself I rose and went after him, trembling.
-‘Mr. Gray,’ I said, ‘is there nothing that can be done for you?’
-
-‘I don’t want anything to be done for me,’ he cried abruptly. The
-question piqued his pride. ‘Tell her she shall see yet that I understand
-the sacrifice she has made,’ he said. If he spoke ironically or in
-honesty I cannot tell; when his mouth had once been opened the stream
-came so fast. ‘I want to go away, that is all,’ he said, with a certain
-heat, almost anger; ‘anywhere--I don’t care where--to the Mauritius, if
-they like, where that fever is. No fear that I should die. I have been
-brought up like a gentleman--it is quite true. And yet I am here. What
-was the use? My father was a common soldier. She---- but it’s no good
-talking; I am no credit to anybody now. If I could get drafted into
-another regiment, and go--to India or anywhere--you should see a
-difference. I swear you should see a difference!’ his voice rose high in
-these last words, then he paused. ‘But she is old,’ he said, sinking his
-voice; ‘ten years--I couldn’t _do_ in less than ten years. She’ll never
-be living then, to see what a man can do.’
-
-‘She is a woman that would make shift to live, somehow, to see her son
-come back,’ I cried. ‘Give her little Mary, and try.’
-
-‘She shall have little Mary, by God!’ cried the excited man; and then he
-broke down, and wept. I cannot describe this scene any more. I grasped
-his hand when I left him, feeling as if he were my brother; he had his
-mother’s picture held fast and hidden in his other hand. If that dear
-touch of natural love had come to him before! But God knows! perhaps he
-was only ready and open to it then.
-
-But he could not tell me where to find the child. I had to be content
-with his promise that when he was free he would restore her to us. I
-went out from him as much shaken as if I had gone through an illness,
-and stole out, not to see Robert Seymour, whom I was not equal to
-meeting just at that moment. But the end of my mission was nearer than I
-thought. When I got outside there was a group of excited people about
-the gateway, close to which my cab was waiting me. They were discussing
-something which had just happened, and which evidently had left a great
-commotion behind. Among the crowd was a group of soldiers’ wives, who
-shook their heads, and talked it over to each other with lowered voices.
-‘It’s well for her she was took bad here, and never got nigh to him,’
-one of them said. ‘He’d have killed her, I know he would! It’s well for
-her she never got in to tempt that man to her death.’
-
-‘It was brazen of her to come nigh him at all,’ said another, ‘and him
-so proud. She always was a shameless one. What my heart bleeds for is
-that poor little child.’
-
-‘Where is the child?’ asked a third. ‘It would be well for her, poor
-innocent, if the Lord was to take her too.’
-
-I was standing stupefied, listening to them, when I heard a little cry,
-and the grasp of something at my dress. The cry was so feeble, and the
-grasp so light, that I might never have noticed it but for those women.
-I turned round, and the whole world swam round me for a moment. I did
-what Lady Denzil did--I staggered forward and fell on my knees, though
-this was not the soft green grass, but a stony London pavement, and
-clasped little Mary tight with a vehemence that would have frightened
-any other child; but she was not frightened. The little creature was
-drenched with the pitiless rain. She had been tied up in an old shawl,
-to hide the miserable, pretty white frock, now clogged with mud and
-soaked with water. Her little hat was glued to her head with the floods
-to which she had been exposed. I lifted my treasure wildly in my arms,
-as soon as I had any strength to do it, and rushed with her to my
-carriage. I felt like a thief triumphant; and yet it was no theft. But
-my eagerness aroused the suspicions of the soldiers’ wives who had been
-standing by. They explained to me that the child was Sergeant Gray’s
-child; that her mother had been took very bad in a fit, and had been
-carried off to the hospital; and that I, a stranger, had no right to
-interfere. I don’t know what hurried explanation I made to them; but I
-know that at last I satisfied their fears, and with little Mary in my
-arms actually drove away.
-
-It was true, though I never could believe it. I got her as easily as if
-it had been the most natural thing in the world. I could not believe it,
-even when I held her fast and drew from her her little story. She had
-been taken away early, very early in the morning, when she had run to
-the door as soon as she was up to satisfy herself that it rained. No
-doubt the wretched mother had hung about the grounds all night in the
-storm and rain to get at the child. She had snatched up little Mary in
-her arms, and rushed out with her before any one was aware. The child
-had been dragged along the dreary roads in the rain. If the woman had
-really loved her, if it had been the passion of a tender mother, and not
-of a revengeful creature, she never would have subjected the child to
-this. She was wet to the skin, with pools in her little boots, and the
-water streaming from her dress. I took her to a friend’s house and got
-dry clothes to put upon her. The unhappy mother had, no doubt, been out
-all night exposed to the storm. She was mad with rage and misery and
-fatigue, and probably did not feel her danger at the moment; but just as
-she reached the Tower to claim, building upon a common opposition to one
-object, her husband’s support, had fallen down senseless on his very
-threshold as it were. Nothing indeed but madness could have led her to
-the man whom she had disgraced. When the surrounding bystanders saw that
-nothing was to be done for her, and that she would not come out of her
-faint, they had her carried in alarm to the hospital. Such was the
-abrupt conclusion of the tale. Had I known I need not have given myself
-the trouble of seeing Sergeant Gray--but that, at least, was a thing
-which I could not find in my heart to regret.
-
-When I took her back Lady Denzil held me in her arms, held me fast, and
-looked into my face, even before she listened to little Mary’s call. She
-wanted me to tell her of her child--her own child--and I was so weak
-that I could not speak to her. I fell crying on her tender old bosom,
-like a fool, and had to be comforted, as if it could be anything to
-me--in comparison. I don’t know afterwards what I said to her, but she
-understood all I meant. As for Sir Thomas he was too happy to ask any
-questions. The child had wound herself into his very heart. He sat with
-little Mary in his arms all that evening. He would scarcely allow her to
-be taken to bed. He went up with his heavy old step to see her sleeping
-safe once more under his roof, and made Wellman, with a pistol, sleep in
-a little room below. But little Mary was safe enough now. Her father was
-confined in his barrack room, with my lady’s photograph in his hands,
-and a host of unknown softenings and compunctions in his heart. Her
-mother was raving wildly in the hospital on the bed from which she was
-never to rise. I don’t know that any one concerned, except myself,
-thought of this strange cluster of divers fortunes, of tragic mystery
-and suffering, all hanging about the little angel-vision of that child.
-Sin, shame, misery, every kind of horror and distress, and little Mary
-the centre of all; how strange it was!--how terrible and smiling and
-wretched is life!
-
-It is not to be supposed that such a frightful convulsion and earthquake
-could pass over and leave no sign. Little Mary was very ill after her
-exposure, and the shadow of death fell on the Lodge. Perhaps that
-circumstance softened a little the storm of animadversion that rose up
-in the neighbourhood. For six months after, Lady Denzil, who had been
-our centre of society, was never seen out of her own gates. Then they
-went away, and were absent a whole year. It was the most curious change
-to everybody on the Green. For three months no one talked on any other
-subject, and the wildest stories were told: stories with just so much
-truth in them as to make them doubly wild. It was found out somehow that
-that wretched woman had died, and then there were accounts current that
-she had died in the grounds at the Lodge--on the road--in the
-workhouse--everywhere but the real place, which was in the hospital,
-where every indulgence and every comfort that she was capable of
-receiving had been given to her, Sir Thomas himself going to town on
-purpose to see that it was so. And then it was said that it was she who
-was Lady Denzil’s child. It was a terrible moment, and one which left
-its mark upon everybody concerned. Sergeant Gray lost his rank, but got
-his wish and was drafted into another regiment going to India. I saw him
-again, I and poor old Mrs. Florentine.
-
-But he did not see his mother. They were neither of them able for such a
-trial. ‘I will come back in ten years,’ he said to me. I do not know if
-he will. I don’t know if Lady Denzil will live so long. But I believe if
-she does that then for the first time she will see her son.
-
-They returned to the Lodge two years ago, and the neighbourhood now,
-instead of gossiping, is very curious to know whether Lady Denzil ever
-means to go into society again. Everybody calls, and admires little
-Mary--how she has grown, and what a charming little princess she is; and
-they all remind my lady, with tender reproach, of those parties they
-enjoyed so much. ‘Are we never to have any more, dear Lady Denzil?’ Lucy
-Stoke asked the other day, kneeling at my lady’s side, and caressing her
-soft old ivory-white hand. My lady--to whom her tender old beauty, her
-understanding of everybody’s trouble, even the rose-tint in her cheek,
-have come back again--made no answer, but only kissed pretty Lucy. I
-don’t know if she will give any more parties; but she means to live the
-ten years.
-
-As for Sir Thomas he was never so happy in his life before. He follows
-little Mary about like an old gray tender knight worshipping the fairy
-creature. Sometimes I look on and cannot believe my eyes. The wretched
-guilty mother is dead long ago, and nobody remembers her very existence.
-The poor soldier has worked himself up to a commission, and may be high
-in rank before he comes back. If Lady Denzil had been the most tender
-and devoted of mothers, could things have turned out better? Is this
-world all a phantasmagoria and chaos of dreams and chances? One’s brain
-reels when Providence thus contradicts all the laws of life. Is it
-because God sees deeper and ‘understands,’ as my lady is so fond of
-saying? It might well be that He had a different way of judging from
-ours, seeing well and seeing always what we mean in our hearts.
-
-
-
-
-THE STOCKBROKER AT DINGLEWOOD
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-Those who saw Dinglewood only after the improvements had been made could
-scarcely be able to form to themselves any idea of what it was before
-the Greshams came. I call them improvements because everybody used the
-word; but I cannot say I thought the house improved. It was an
-old-fashioned red-brick house, nothing to speak of architecturally--in
-the style of Kensington Palace and Kew, and the rest of those old homely
-royal houses. The drawing-room opened its tall narrow windows upon a
-little terrace, which was very green and grassy, and pleasant. I should
-be sorry to undertake to say why it was called Dinglewood. Mr. Coventry
-made very merry over the name when he had it. He used to say it was
-because there were no trees; but that was not strictly the case. It was
-quite open and bare, it is true, towards the river, which we could not
-see from the Green; but there was a little grove of trees which
-interposed between us and the house, as if to shut out Dinglewood from
-the vulgarity of neighbours. It was a popular house in a quiet way when
-the Coventrys were there. They did not give parties, or pretend to take
-much trouble in the way of society, for Lady Sarah was always delicate;
-but when we were tired with our view on the Green, and our lawns and
-trees, we were always welcome on the Dinglewood terrace, where the old
-people were constantly to be found sitting out in the summer afternoons,
-Lady Sarah on her sofa, and Mr. Coventry with the newspapers and his
-great dog. The lawn went sloping down towards the river, which lay still
-and white under the sunshine, with a little green island, and a little
-gray house making a centre to the picture. As long as the sloping bank
-was lawn it was closely cut and kept like velvet; but when it became
-field these niceties stopped, and Lady Sarah’s pet Alderney stood up to
-her knees in the cool clover. There was an old mulberry-tree close to
-the wall of the house, which shaded the sofa; and a gloomy yew on the
-other side did the same thing for Mr. Coventry, though he was an old
-Indian and a salamander, and could bear any amount of sunshine. Lady
-Sarah’s perpetual occupation was knitting. She knitted all sorts of
-bright-coloured things in brilliant German wool with big ivory pins,
-and her husband used to read the news to her. They read all the debates
-together, stopping every now and then to exchange their sentiments. Lady
-Sarah would say with her brisk little voice, ‘He might have made a
-better point there. I don’t see that he proves his case. I don’t agree
-with that;’ and Mr. Coventry would stop and lay down the paper on his
-knees, and discuss it leisurely. There was no reason why they should not
-do it at their leisure. The best part of the summer days were spent thus
-by the old couple; and the sunshine lay warm and still round them, and
-the leaves rustled softly, and the cool grass kept growing under their
-peaceful old feet. These feet tread mortal soil no longer, and all this
-has nothing in the world to do with my story. But it was a pretty sight
-in its way. They were not rich, and the furniture and carpets were very
-faded, and everything very different from what it came to be afterwards;
-yet we were all very fond of Mr. Coventry and his old wife, and the
-old-fashioned house was appropriate to them. I like to think of them
-even now.
-
-We were all anxious, of course, after Mr. Coventry’s death, to know who
-would buy the house (Lady Sarah could not bear it after he was gone, and
-indeed lived only a year after him); and when it was known that young
-Mr. Gresham was the purchaser, it made quite a sensation on the Green.
-He was the son of old Gresham, who had bought Bishop’s Hope, a noble
-place at Cookesley, about a dozen miles off, but had made all his
-fortune as a stockbroker, and, they say, not even the best kind of that.
-His son had succeeded him in business, and had lately married somebody
-in his own class. He was a nice-looking young fellow enough, and had
-been brought up at Eton, to be sure, like so many of those people’s
-sons; but still one felt that it was bringing in a new element to the
-Green. If his wife had been, as so often happens, a gentlewoman, it
-would have made things comparatively easy. But she was only the daughter
-of a mercantile man like himself, and there was great discussion among
-us as to what we should do when they came. Some families made up their
-minds at once not to call; and some, on the other hand, declared that
-such rich people were sure to _fêter_ the whole county, and that
-everybody would go to them. ‘If they had only been a _little_ rich, it
-would never have answered; but they are frightfully rich, and, of
-course, we must all go down on our knees,’ Lottie Stoke said. She was
-the most eager of all to know them; for her youth was passing away, and
-she was not likely to marry, and the Stokes were poor. I confess I was
-curious myself to see how things would turn out.
-
-Their first step however was one which took us all by surprise. Young
-Gresham dashed over in his Yankee waggon from Cookesley to go over the
-house, and the same day a charming barouche made the tour of the Green,
-with a very pretty young woman in it, and a lovely little girl, and a
-matchless tiny Skye terrier--all going to inspect Dinglewood. The arms
-on the carriage were quartered to the last possibility of quartering,
-as if they had come through generations of heiresses and gentlemen of
-coat-armour, and the footman was powdered and dazzling to behold.
-Altogether it was by far the finest equipage that had been seen in these
-parts for a long time. Not to speak of Lady Denzil’s, or the other great
-people about, her Majesty’s own carriage, that she drives about the
-neighbourhood in, was not to be compared to it. Its emblazoned panels
-brushed against the privet hedges in poor old Lady Sarah’s drive, which
-was only wide enough for her little pony-carriage, and I have no doubt
-were scratched and spoiled; but the next thing we heard about Dinglewood
-was that a flood of workmen had come down upon it, and that everything
-was to be changed. Young Mrs. Gresham liked the situation, but the house
-was _far_ too small for her. My maid told me a new dining-room and
-drawing-room, with bed-rooms over, were to be added, and already the
-people had set to work. We all looked on thunderstruck while these
-‘improvements’ were going on: he had a right to do it, no doubt, as he
-had bought it, but still it did seem a great piece of presumption. The
-pretty terrace was all cut up, and the poor old mulberry-tree perished
-in the changes, though it is true that they had the sense not to spoil
-the view. They added two wings to the old house, with one sumptuous room
-in each. Poor Lady Sarah’s drawing-room, which was good enough for her,
-these millionaires made into a billiard-room, and put them all _en
-suite_, making a passage thus between their two new wings. I don’t deny,
-as I have already said, that they had a perfect right to do it; but all
-the same it was very odd to us.
-
-And then heaps of new furniture came down from town; the waggons that
-brought it made quite a procession along the road. All this grandeur and
-display had a bad effect upon the neighbourhood. It really looked as if
-these new people were already crowing over us, whose carpets and
-hangings were a little faded and out of fashion. There was a general
-movement of indignation on the Green. All this expense might be well
-enough, for those who could afford it, in a town-house, people said, but
-in the country it was vulgar and stupid. Everything was gilded and
-ornamented and expensive in the new Dinglewood; Turkey carpets all over
-the house, and rich silk curtains and immense mirrors. Then after a
-while ‘the family’ arrived. They came with such a flutter of fine
-carriages as had never been seen before among us. The drive had been
-widened, down which Lady Sarah’s old gray pony used to jog so
-comfortably, and there was nothing to be seen all day long but smooth,
-shining panels and high-stepping horses whisking in and out. In the
-first place there was Mr. Gresham’s Yankee waggon, with a wicked-looking
-beast in it, which went like the wind. Then there would be a cosy
-brougham carrying Mrs. Gresham to Shoreton shopping, or taking out the
-nurse and baby for an airing; and after lunch came the pretty open
-carriage with the armorial bearings and the men in powder. We were too
-indignant to look round at first when these vehicles passed; but custom
-does a great deal, and one’s feelings soften in spite of one’s self. Of
-all the people on the Green, Lottie Stoke was the one who did most for
-the new people. ‘I mean to make mamma call,’ she said: and she even made
-a round of visits for the purpose of saying it. ‘Why shouldn’t we all
-call on them? I think it is mean to object to them for being rich. It
-looks as if we were ashamed of being poor; and they are sure to have
-quantities of people from town, and to enjoy themselves--people as good
-as we are, Mrs. Mulgrave: they are not so particular in London.’
-
-‘My dear Lottie,’ said I, ‘I have no doubt the Greshams themselves are
-quite as good as we are. That is not the question. There are social
-differences, you know.’
-
-‘Oh, yes! I know,’ cried Lottie; ‘I have heard of them all my life, but
-I don’t see what the better we are, for all our nicety; and I mean to
-make mamma call.’
-
-She was not so good as her word however, for Mrs. Stoke was a timid
-woman, and waited to see what the people would do. And in the meantime
-the Greshams themselves, independent of their fine house and their showy
-carriages, presented themselves as it were before us for approval. They
-walked to church on Sunday without any show, which made quite a
-revulsion in their favour; and she was very pretty and sweet-looking,
-and he was so like a gentleman that you could never have told the
-difference. And the end of it all was, that one fine morning Lady
-Denzil, without saying a word to any one, called; and after that,
-everybody on the Green.
-
-I do not pretend to say that there was not a little air of newness about
-these young people. They were like their house, a little too bright, too
-costly, too luxurious. Mrs. Gresham gave herself now and then pretty
-little airs of wealth, which, to do her justice, were more in the way of
-kindness to others than display for herself. There was a kind of
-munificence about her which made one smile, and yet made one grow red
-and hot and just a little angry. It might not have mattered if she had
-been a princess, but it did not answer with a stockbroker’s wife. She
-was so anxious to supply you with anything or everything you wanted.
-‘Let me send it,’ she would say in a lavish way, whenever there was any
-shortcoming, and opened her pretty mouth and stared with all her pretty
-eyes when her offers were declined. She wanted that delicate sense of
-other people’s pride, which a true great lady always has. She did not
-understand why one would rather have one’s own homely maid to wait, than
-borrow her powdered slave; and would rather walk than be taken up in her
-fine carriage. This bewildered her, poor little woman. She thought it
-was unkind of me in particular. ‘You can’t _really_ prefer to drive
-along in the dust in your little low carriage,’ she said, with a curious
-want of perception that my pony carriage was my own. This was the only
-defect I found in her, and it was a failing which leant to virtue’s
-side. Her husband was more a man of the world, but he too had money
-written all over him. They were dreadfully rich, and even in their
-freest moment they could not get rid of it--and they were young and
-open-hearted, and anxious to make everybody happy. They had people down
-from town as Lottie prophesied--fashionable people sometimes, and clever
-people, and rich people. We met all kinds of radicals, and artists, and
-authors, and great travellers at Dinglewood. The Greshams were rather
-proud of their literary acquaintances indeed, which was surprising to
-us. I have seen old Sir Thomas look very queer when he was told he was
-going to meet So-and-So, who had written some famous book. ‘Who is the
-fellow?’ he said privately to me with a comical look, for he was not
-very literary in his tastes;--neither were the Greshams for that matter:
-but then, having no real rank, they appreciated a little distinction,
-howsoever it came; whereas the second cousin of any poor lord or good
-old decayed family was more to the most of us than Shakespeare himself
-or Raphael; though of course it would have been our duty to ourselves to
-be very civil to either of those gentlemen had we met them at dinner
-anywhere on the Green.
-
-But there was no doubt that this new lively household, all astir with
-new interests, new faces, talk and movement, and pleasant extravagance,
-woke us all up. They were so rich that they took the lead in many
-things, in spite of all that could be done to the contrary. None of us
-could afford so many parties. The Greshams had always something on hand.
-Instead of our old routine of dinners and croquet-parties, and perhaps
-two or three dances a year for the young people, there was an endless
-variety now at Dinglewood; and even if we elders could have resisted
-Mrs. Gresham’s pretty winning ways on her own account, it would have
-been wicked to neglect the advantage for our children. Of course this
-did not apply to me, who have no children; but I was never disposed to
-stand very much on my dignity, and I liked the young couple. They were
-so fond of each other, and so good-looking, and so happy, and so
-ready--too ready--to share their advantages with everybody. Mrs. Gresham
-sent her man over with I don’t know how much champagne the morning of
-the day when they were all coming to play croquet on my little lawn, and
-he wanted to know, with his mistress’s love, whether he should come to
-help, or if there was anything else I wanted. I had entertained my
-friends in my quiet way before she was born, and I did not like it.
-Lottie Stoke happened to be with me when the message arrived, and took
-the reasonable view, as she had got into the way of doing where the
-Greshams were concerned.
-
-‘Why should not they send you champagne?’ she said. ‘They are as rich as
-Crœsus, though I am sure I don’t know much about him; and you are a
-lady living by yourself, and can’t be expected to think of all these
-things.’
-
-‘My dear Lottie,’ said I--and I confess I was angry--‘if you are not
-content with what I can give you, you need not come to me. The Greshams
-can stay away if they like. Champagne in the afternoon when you are
-playing croquet! It is just like those _nouveaux riches_. They would
-think it still finer, I have no doubt, if they could drink pearls, like
-Cleopatra. Champagne!’
-
-‘They must have meant it for Cup, you know,’ said Lottie, a little
-abashed.
-
-‘I don’t care what they meant it for,’ said I. ‘You shall have cups of
-tea; and I am very angry and affronted. I wonder how they think we got
-on before they came!’
-
-And then I sat down and wrote a little note, which I fear was terribly
-polite, and sent it and the baskets back with John Thomas, while Lottie
-went and looked at all the pictures as if she had never seen them
-before, and hummed little airs under her breath. She had taken up these
-Greshams in the most curious way. Not that she was an unreasonable
-partisan; she could see their faults like the rest of us, but she was
-always ready to make excuses for them. ‘They don’t know any better,’ she
-would say softly when she was driven to the very extremity of her
-special pleading. And she said this when I had finished my note and was
-just sending it away.
-
-‘But why don’t they know better?’ said I; ‘they have had the same
-education as other people. He was at Eton where a boy should learn how
-to behave himself, even if he does not learn anything else. And she went
-to one of the fashionable schools--as good a school as any of you ever
-went to.’
-
-‘We were never at any school at all,’ said Lottie with a little
-bitterness. ‘We were always much too poor. We have never learned
-anything, we poor girls; whereas Ada Gresham has learned everything,’
-she added with a little laugh.
-
-It was quite true. Poor little Mrs. Gresham was overflowing with
-accomplishments. There never was such an education as she had received.
-She had gone to lectures, and studied thorough bass, and knew all about
-chemistry, and could sympathize with her husband, as the newspapers say,
-and enter into all his pursuits. How fine it sounds in the newspapers!
-Though I was angry, I could not but laugh too--a young woman wanted an
-elaborate education indeed to be fit to be young Gresham’s wife.
-
-‘Well,’ I said, ‘after all, I don’t suppose she means to be impertinent,
-Lottie, and I like her. I don’t think her education has done her much
-harm. Nobody could teach her to understand other people’s feelings; and
-to be rich like that must be a temptation.’
-
-‘I should like to have such a temptation,’ said Lottie, with a sudden
-sparkle in her eyes. ‘Fancy there are four Greshams, and they are all as
-rich. The girl is married, you know, to a railway man; and, by the by,’
-she went on suddenly after a pause, ‘they tell me one of the brothers is
-coming here to-day.’
-
-She said this in an accidental sort of way, but I could see there was
-nothing accidental about it. She drew her breath hard, poor girl, and a
-little feverish colour got up in her cheeks. It is common to talk of
-girls looking out for husbands, and even hunting that important quarry.
-But when now and then in desperate cases such a thing does actually come
-before one’s eyes, it is anything but an amusing sight. The Stokes were
-as poor as the Greshams were rich. Everard had ruined himself, and
-half-killed everybody belonging to him only the year before; and now
-poor Lottie saw a terrible chance before her, and rose to it with a kind
-of tragic valour. I read her whole meaning and resolution in her face,
-as she said, with an attempt at a smile, these simple-sounding words;
-and an absolute pang of pity went through me. Poor Lottie!--it was a
-chance, for her family and for herself--even for poor Everard, whom they
-all clung to, though he had gone so far astray. What a change it would
-make in their situation and prospects, and everything about them! You
-may say it was an ignoble foundation to build family comfort upon. I do
-not defend it in any way; but when I saw what Lottie meant, my heart
-ached for her. It did not seem to me ridiculous or base, but tragic and
-terrible; though to be sure in all likelihood there is nobody who will
-think so but me.
-
-Before Lottie left me, Mrs. Gresham came rushing over in her pretty
-summer dress, with her curls and ribbons fluttering in the breeze. She
-came to ask me why I had been so unkind, and to plead and remonstrate.
-‘We have so much, we don’t know what to do with it,’ she said; ‘Harry is
-always finding out some new vintage or other, and the cellars are
-overflowing. Why would not you use some of it? We have so much of
-everything we don’t know what to do.’
-
-‘I would rather not, thanks,’ I said, feeling myself flush; ‘what a
-lovely day it is. Where are you going for your drive? The woods will be
-delicious to-day.’
-
-‘Oh, I have so much of the woods,’ cried Mrs. Gresham. ‘I thought of
-going towards Estcott to make some calls. But, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, about
-the Champagne?’
-
-‘It is a little too early for the heath,’ said Lottie, steadily looking
-our visitor in the face. ‘It is always cold there. What they call
-bracing, you know; but I don’t care about being braced, the wind goes
-through and through one, even on a sunny day.’
-
-‘It is because you are so thin,’ said Mrs. Gresham; ‘I never feel the
-cold for my part; but I shall not drive at all to-day--I forgot--I shall
-go and fetch Harry from the station, and come to you, Mrs. Mulgrave: and
-you will not be cross, but let me send back John Thomas with--’
-
-‘My dear, I am going to give you some tea,’ said I, ‘and my maids can
-manage beautifully; the sight of a gorgeous creature like John Thomas
-distracts them; they can do nothing but stare at his plush and his
-powder. We shall be very glad to have Mr. Gresham and you.’
-
-‘But--’ she began eagerly. Then she caught Lottie’s look, who had made
-some sign to her, and stopped short, staring at me with her blue eyes.
-She could not make it out, and no hint short of positive demonstration
-could have shown her that she had gone too far. She stopped in obedience
-to Lottie’s sign, but stared at me all the same. Her prosperity, her
-wealth, her habit of overcoming everything that looked in the least like
-a difficulty, had taken even a woman’s instinct from her. She gazed at
-me, and by degrees her cheeks grew red: she saw she had made a mistake
-somehow, but even up to that moment could not tell what it was.
-
-‘Harry’s brother is coming with him,’ she said, a little subdued; ‘may I
-bring him? He is the eldest, but he is not married yet. He is such a man
-of the world. Of course he might have married when he liked, as early as
-we did, there was nothing to prevent him: but he got into a fashionable
-set first, and then he got among the artists. He is quite what they call
-a Bohemian you know. He paints beautifully--Harry always consults Gerald
-before buying any pictures; I don’t know what he does with all his
-money, for he keeps up no establishment, and no horses nor anything. I
-tell him sometimes he is an old miser, but I am sure I have no reason to
-say so, for he gives me beautiful presents. I should so like to bring
-him here.’
-
-‘Yes, bring him by all means,’ said I; but I could not help giving a
-little sigh as I looked at Lottie, who was listening eagerly. When she
-saw me look at her, her face flamed scarlet, and she went in great haste
-to the window to hide it from Mrs. Gresham. She saw I had found her out,
-and did not know what compassion was in my heart. She gave a wistful
-glance up into my face as she went away. ‘Don’t despise me!’ it said.
-Poor Lottie! as if it ever could be lawful to do evil that good might
-come! They went away together, the poor girl and the rich, happy young
-wife. Lottie was a little the older of the two, and yet she was not old,
-and they were both pretty young women. They laid their heads together
-and talked earnestly as girls do, as they went out of my gate, and
-nobody could have dreamed that their light feet were entangled in any
-web of tragedy. The sight of the two who were so unlike, and the thought
-of the future which might bring them into close connection made me
-melancholy, I could not have told why.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-We did not miss the Champagne-cup that afternoon; indeed I do not
-approve of such beverages for young people, and never sanction anything
-but tea before dinner. The Dinglewood people were doing their best to
-introduce these foolish extravagances among us, but I for one would not
-give in. Young Gresham, though he took some tea, drew his wife aside
-the moment after, and I heard him question her.
-
-‘It was not my fault, Harry,’ she cried, not knowing I was so near. ‘She
-sent it all back, and Lottie said I had hurt her feelings. I did not
-know what to do. She would not even have John Thomas to wait.’
-
-‘Nonsense!’ said Harry Gresham; ‘you should have insisted. We ought not
-to let her go to any expense. I don’t suppose she has a shilling more
-than she wants for her own affairs.’
-
-‘But I could not help it,’ said his wife.
-
-I don’t know what Lottie had said to her, but she was evidently a little
-frightened. As for Harry, I think he would have liked to leave a
-bank-note for me on one of the tables. People have told me since that it
-was a very bad sign, and that it is only when people are getting
-reckless about money that they think of throwing it away in presents;
-but I cannot say I have had much experience of that weakness. The new
-brother who had come with them was a very different kind of man. I
-cannot say I took to him at first. He was not a wealthy, simple-minded,
-lavish creature like his brother. He was more like other people. Harry
-Gresham was red and white, like a girl, inclining to be stout, though he
-was not above thirty, and with the manners which are, or were, supposed
-to be specially English--downright and straightforward. Gerald was a few
-years older, a little taller, bronzed with the sun, and bearing the
-indescribable look of a man who has mixed much with the world. I looked
-at Lottie Stoke when I made my first observations upon the stranger, and
-saw that she too was looking at him with a strange expression, half of
-repugnance, half of wistfulness in her eyes. Lottie had not done her
-duty in the way of marrying, as she ought to have done, in her early
-youth. She had refused very good offers, as her mother was too apt to
-tell with a little bitterness. Now at last, when things were going so
-badly with the family, she had made up her mind to try; but when she did
-so she expected a second Harry Gresham, and not this man of the world.
-She looked at him as a martyr might look standing on the edge of a
-precipice, gathering up her strength for the plunge, shrinking yet
-daring. My party was quite dull for the first hour because of this pause
-which Lottie made on the brink, for she was always the soul of
-everything. When I saw her all at once rise up from the chair where she
-had been sitting obstinately beside old Mrs. Beresford, and go up to
-Mrs. Gresham, who was standing aside with her brother-in-law looking on,
-I knew she had made up her mind at last, and taken the plunge. An
-experienced rich young man of the nineteenth century! I thought to
-myself she might spare her pains.
-
-Just at that moment I saw the gorgeous figure of John Thomas appear at
-the end of my lawn, and a sudden flush of anger came over me. I got up
-to see what he wanted, thinking they had sent him back again
-notwithstanding my refusal. But just before I reached him I perceived
-that his errand was to his master, to whom he gave a telegram. Mr.
-Gresham tore it open at my side. He ran his eye over the message, and
-muttered something between his teeth, and grew red all over in
-indignation or trouble. Then, seeing me, he turned round, with an
-effort, with one of his broad smiles.
-
-‘Business even in the midst of pleasure,’ he said. ‘Is it not too bad?’
-
-‘If it is only business--’ said I. Whenever I see one of those telegraph
-papers, it makes my heart beat. I always think somebody is ill or dead.
-
-‘_Only_ business, by Jove!’ said Harry. His voice was quite subdued, but
-he laughed--a laugh which sounded strange and not very natural. Then he
-gave himself a sort of shake, and thrust the thing into his pocket, and
-offered me his arm, to lead me back to my place. ‘By the by,’ he said,
-‘I am going to quarrel with you, Mrs. Mulgrave. When we are so near why
-don’t you let us be of some use to you? It would give the greatest
-pleasure both to Ada and me.’
-
-‘Oh, thanks; but indeed I don’t want any help,’ I cried, abruptly coming
-to a sudden stop before Lady Denzil’s chair.
-
-‘You are so proud,’ he said with a smile, and so left me to plunge into
-the midst of the game, where they were clamouring for him. He played all
-the rest of the afternoon, entering into everything with the greatest
-spirit; and yet I felt a little disturbed. Whether it was for Lottie, or
-whether it was for Harry Gresham I could not well explain to myself; a
-feeling came over me like the feeling with which one sometimes wakes in
-the morning without any reason for it--an uneasy restless sense that
-something somehow was going wrong.
-
-The Greshams were the last of my party to go away, and I went to the
-gate with them, as I had a way of doing, and lingered there for a few
-minutes in the slanting evening light. It was nearly seven o’clock, but
-they did not dine till eight, and were in no hurry. She wore a very
-pretty dress--one of those soft pale grays which soil if you look hard
-at them--and had gathered the long train over her arm like a figure in a
-picture; for though she was not very refined, Ada Gresham was not a
-vulgar woman to trail her dress over a dusty road. She had taken her
-husband’s arm as they went along the sandy brown pathway, and Gerald on
-the other side carried her parasol and leant towards her to talk. As I
-looked at them I could not but think of the strange differences of life:
-how some people have to get through the world by themselves as best they
-may, and some have care and love and protection on every side of them.
-These two would have kept the very wind from blowing upon Ada; they were
-ready to shield her from every pain, to carry her in their arms over any
-thorns that might come in her way. The sunshine slanted sideways upon
-them as they went along, throwing fantastic broken shadows of the three
-figures on the hedgerow, and shining right into my eyes. I think I can
-see her now leaning on her husband’s arm, looking up to his brother,
-with the pretty sweep of the gray silk over her arm, the white
-embroidered skirts beneath, and the soft rose-ribbons that caught the
-light. Poor Ada! I have other pictures of her, beside this one, in my
-memory now.
-
-Next day we had a little discussion upon the new brother, in the
-afternoon when my visitors looked in upon me. We did not confine
-ourselves to that one subject. We diverged, for instance, to Mrs.
-Gresham’s toilette, which was so pretty. Lottie Stoke had got a new
-bonnet for the occasion; but she had made it herself, and though she was
-very clever, she was not equal to Elise.
-
-‘Fancy having all one’s things made by Elise!’ cried Lucy the little
-sister, with a rapture of anticipation. ‘If ever I am married, nobody
-else shall dress _me_.’
-
-‘Then you had better think no more of curates,’ said some malicious
-critic, and Lucy blushed. It was not her fault if the curates amused
-her. They were mice clearly intended by Providence for fun and torture.
-She was but sixteen and meant no harm, and what else could the kitten
-do?
-
-Then a great controversy arose among the girls as to the claims of the
-new brother to be called handsome. The question was hotly discussed on
-both sides, Lottie alone taking no part in the debate. She sat by very
-quietly, with none of her usual animation. Nor did she interpose when
-the Gresham lineage and connection--the little cockney papa who was like
-a shabby little miser, the mother who was large and affable and
-splendid, a kind of grand duchess in a mercantile way--were taken in
-hand. Lottie could give little sketches of them all when she so pleased;
-but she did not please that day.
-
-‘This new one does not look like a nobody,’ said one of my visitors. ‘He
-might be the Honourable Gerald for his looks. He is fifty times better
-than Mr. Gresham, though Mr. Gresham is very nice too.’
-
-‘And he has such a lovely name!’ cried Lucy. ‘Gerald Gresham! Any girl I
-ever heard of would marry him just for his name.’
-
-‘They have all nice names,’ said the first speaker, who was young too,
-and attached a certain weight to this particular. ‘They don’t sound like
-mere rich people. They might be of a good old family to judge by their
-names.’
-
-‘Yes; she is Ada,’ said Lucy, reflectively, ‘and he is Harry, and the
-little boy’s name is Percy. But Gerald is the darling! Gerald is the one
-for me!’
-
-The window was open at the time, and the child was talking incautiously
-loud, so that I was not much surprised, for my part, when a peal of
-laughter from outside followed this speech, and Ada, with her
-brother-in-law in attendance, appeared under the veranda. Of course
-Lucy was covered with confusion; but her blushes became the little
-creature, and gave her a certain shy grace which was very pretty to
-behold. As for Lottie, I think the contrast made her paler. Looking at
-her beautiful refined head against the light, nobody could help admiring
-it; but she was not round and dimpled and rosy like her little sister.
-After a while Gerald Gresham managed to get into the corner where Lottie
-was, to talk to her; but his eyes sought the younger creature all the
-same. A man has it all his own way when there is but one in the room. He
-was gracious to all the girls, like a civilized English sultan; but they
-were used to that, poor things, and took it very good-naturedly.
-
-‘It is not his fault if he is the only man in the place,’ said Lucy; and
-she was not displeased, though her cheeks burned more hotly than ever
-when he took advantage of her incautious speech.
-
-‘I must not let you forget that it is Gerald who is the darling,’ he
-said laughing. Of course it was quite natural, and meant nothing, and
-perhaps no one there but Lottie and myself thought anything of this
-talk; but it touched her, poor girl, with a certain mortification, and
-had a curious effect upon me. I could not keep myself from thinking,
-Would it be Lucy after all? After her sister had made up her mind in
-desperation; after she had screwed her courage to the last fatal point;
-after she had consciously committed herself and compromised her maiden
-up-rightness, would it be Lucy who would win the prize without an
-effort? I cannot describe the effect it had upon me. It made me burn
-with indignation to think that Lottie Stoke was putting forth all her
-powers to attract this stranger--this man who was rich, and could buy
-her if he pleased; and, at the same time, his looks at Lucy filled me
-with the strangest sense of disappointment. I ought to have been glad
-that such humiliating efforts failed of success, and yet I was not. I
-hated them, and yet I could not bear to think they would be in vain.
-
-‘And Harry has gone to town again to-day,’ said Ada, with a pout of her
-pretty mouth, ‘though he promised to stay and take me up the river. They
-make his life wretched with those telegrams and things. I ask him, What
-is the good of going on like this, when we have plenty of money? And
-then he tells me I am a little fool and don’t understand.’
-
-‘I always feel sure something dreadful has happened whenever I see a
-telegram,’ said Mrs. Stoke.
-
-‘Oh, we are quite used to them: they are only about business,’ said Ada,
-taking off her hat and smoothing back, along with a twist of her pretty
-hair, the slightest half visible pucker of care from her smooth young
-brow.
-
-‘Only business!’ said Gerald. They were the same words Harry had said
-the day before, and they struck me somehow. When he caught my eye he
-laughed, and added something about the strange ideas ladies had. ‘As if
-any accident, or death, or burial could be half so important as
-business,’ he said, with the half sneer which we all use as a disguise
-to our thoughts. And some of the little party exclaimed, and some
-laughed with him. To be sure, a man in business, like Harry Gresham, or
-a man of the world, like his brother, must be less startled by such
-communications than such quiet country people as we were. That was easy
-enough to see.
-
-That same night, when I came across from the Lodge, where I had been
-spending the evening, Dinglewood stood blazing out against the sky with
-all its windows lighted up. Sir Thomas, who was walking across the Green
-with me, as it was so fine a night, saw me turn my head that way and
-looked too. The whole house had the air of being lighted up for an
-illumination. It always had; it revealed itself, its different floors,
-and even the use of its different rooms to all the world by its lights.
-The Greshams were the kind of people who have every new improvement that
-money can procure. They made gas for themselves, and lighted up the
-entire house, in that curious mercantile, millionaire way which you
-never see in a real great house. Sir Thomas’s look followed mine, and he
-shook his gray head a little.
-
-‘I hope no harm will come of it,’ he said; ‘they are going very fast
-over there, Mrs. Mulgrave. I hope they are able to keep it up.’
-
-‘Able!’ said I, ‘they are frightfully rich;’ and I felt half aggrieved
-by the very supposition.
-
-‘Yes,’ said Sir Thomas, ‘they would need to be rich. For a little while
-that may do; but I don’t think any man in business can be rich enough to
-stand that sort of thing for a long time together.’
-
-‘Oh, they can bear it, no doubt,’ I said, impatient of Sir Thomas’s
-old-fashioned ways. ‘Of course it was very different in the Coventrys’
-time.’
-
-‘Ah, in the Coventrys’ time,’ said Sir Thomas regretfully; ‘one does not
-often get such neighbours as the Coventrys. Take care of that stone. And
-now, here we are at your door.’
-
-‘Good-night!’ said I, ‘and many thanks;’ but I stood outside a little in
-the balmy evening air, as Sir Thomas went home across the Green. I could
-not see Dinglewood from my door, and the Lodge, which was opposite,
-glimmered in a very different way, with faint candles in Lady Denzil’s
-chamber, and some of the servants’ sleeping rooms, and the soft white
-lamp-light in the windows below; domestic and necessary lights, not like
-the blaze in the new house. Sir Thomas plodded quietly home, with his
-gray head bent and his hands behind him under his coat, in the musing
-tranquillity of old age; and a certain superstitious feeling came over
-me. It was my gaze at the illuminated house which made him say those
-uncomfortable words. I felt as if I had attracted to the Greshams, poor
-children, in their gaiety and heedlessness, the eye of some sleeping
-Fate.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-I have often been impatient in reading books, to find the story go on
-from one party to another, from one ball to another, as if life had
-nothing more important in it. But sometimes no doubt it does happen so.
-The life of the Greshams was made up of balls and parties; they were
-never alone; Dinglewood blazed out to the skies every evening, and the
-carriages flashed out and in, and one kind of merry-making or another
-went on all day. Lottie Stoke was there continually, and there grew up a
-curious friendship, half strife, half accord, between Gerald and
-herself. He had nothing to do with the business as it turned out, and
-consequently was not half so rich as his brother. But still he was very
-well off. I don’t know what it is about people in business which gives
-them a kind of primitive character: they are less sophisticated than the
-rest of us, though possibly not more simple. The Greshams took a simple
-pleasure in pleasure for itself, without making it a mere medium for
-other things, as most of us do. They were fond of company, fond of
-dancing, delighted with picnics, and even with croquet, without any
-ulterior motive, like children. They were fond even of their wealth,
-which gave them so many pretty and so many pleasant things. They enjoyed
-it with all their hearts, and took an innocent, foolish delight in it,
-which spiteful people set down to purse-pride; but which in reality was
-more like the open satisfaction of children in their dear possessions.
-Gerald was a very different being: I never saw him without feeling that
-his visit was not a mere visit, but had some motive in it. Before Lottie
-roused him to talk and battle with her, he would look on at their great
-parties with a curious, anxious, dissatisfied air, as if he suspected or
-feared something. I think poor Lottie went further than she meant to go:
-she grew interested herself, when she had meant only to interest him,
-and was more excited by his presence than he was by hers. They carried
-on a kind of perpetual duel, very amusing to the spectators: and there
-was no doubt that he liked it. But he liked Lucy’s funny little shy
-speeches too; and he had some interest more absorbing, more serious than
-either, which made his face very grave when the two girls were not
-there. Harry Gresham had sometimes the air of getting impatient of his
-brother’s presence. Now and then they passed my house walking together,
-and not enjoying their walk, according to appearances. Once as I stood
-at my gate I heard Harry say sharply, ‘In any case Ada has her
-settlement,’ with a defiant air. And Gerald’s face was full of
-remonstrance and expostulation. I could not help taking a great interest
-in these young people, and feeling a little anxious at the general
-aspect of affairs.
-
-Things were in this state when the ball was given on Mrs. Gresham’s
-birthday. I had nobody to take charge of for a wonder, and nothing to do
-but look on. The entire suite of rooms was thrown open, ablaze with
-light and sweet with flowers. There were great banks of geraniums in
-every corner where they could be piled, and the whole neighbourhood had
-been ravaged for roses. The room in which I took refuge was the smallest
-of all, which had been old Lady Sarah’s boudoir in old times, and was a
-little removed from the dancing, and cooler than the rest. It had one
-little projecting window, not large enough to be called a bay, which
-looked out upon the terrace just above the spot where the old couple
-used to sit in the summer days. It was open, and the moon streamed in,
-making a curious contrast with the floods of artificial light. Looking
-out from it, you could see the Thames, like a silver ribbon, at the
-bottom or the slope, and the little island and the little house gleaming
-out white, with intense black shadows. Lottie Stoke came up to me while
-I stood at the window, and looked out over my shoulder. ‘It looks like
-the ghost of the river and the ghost of the island,’ she said, putting
-her pretty arm round my waist with an agitated grasp. ‘I almost think we
-are all ghosts too.’
-
-‘A curious moment to think so,’ said Gerald Gresham. My back was turned
-to them, so that I did not see him, but there sounded something like a
-thrill of excitement in the half laugh of his voice.
-
-‘Not curious at all,’ said Lottie: ‘how many of us are really here do
-you think? I know where Mrs. Mulgrave is. She is outside on the terrace
-with old Lady Sarah, listening to the old people’s talk, though I am
-holding her fast all the same. We are in all sorts of places the real
-halves of us, but our doubles do the dancing and the laughing, and eat
-the ices quite as well. It is chilly to be a ghost,’ said Lottie with a
-laugh; ‘come in from the window, I am sure there is a draught there.’
-
-‘There is no draught,’ said Gerald; ‘you are afraid of being obliged to
-go into particulars, that is all.’
-
-‘I am not in the least afraid,’ said Lottie. ‘There is Mrs. Damerel. She
-is in the nursery at the rectory, though you think you have her here.
-She is counting Agatha’s curl-papers to see if there is the right
-number, for children are never properly attended to when the mother’s
-eye is wanting. I don’t know where you are, Mr. Gerald Gresham; that
-would be too delicate an inquiry. But look, your brother has gone upon
-‘Change, though he is in the middle of his guests. He looks as like
-business as if he had all the Reduced Consols on his mind; he looks as
-if---- good heavens!’
-
-Lottie stopped, and her tone was so full of alarm and astonishment, that
-I turned suddenly round to look too, in a fright. Harry Gresham was
-standing at the door; he had a yellow envelope in his hand, another of
-those terrible telegrams which are always bringing misery. He had turned
-round unawares facing us, and facing the stream of people who were
-always coming and going. I never saw in all my life so ghastly a face.
-It showed the more that he was so ruddy and cheerful by nature. In a
-moment every tinge of colour had disappeared from it. His mouth was
-drawn down, his blue eyes looked awful, shrinking back as it were among
-the haggard lines of the eyelids. The sight of him struck Lottie dumb,
-and came upon me like a touch of horror. But Gerald, it was evident, was
-not taken by surprise. Some crisis which he had been looking for had
-come at last.
-
-‘He has had some bad news,’ he said; ‘excuse me, my mother is ill--it
-must be that;’ and he went through the stream of guests, fording the
-current as it were with noiseless rapidity. As for Lottie, she drew me
-back into the recess of the window and clung to me and cried--but not
-for Harry Gresham. Her nerves were at the highest strain, and broke down
-under this last touch; that was all.
-
-‘I knew something was going to happen,’ she said. ‘I felt it in the air;
-but I never thought it was coming upon _them_.’
-
-‘It must be his mother,’ I said, though I did not think so. ‘Hush,
-Lottie! Don’t frighten _her_, poor child.’
-
-Lottie was used to restraining herself, and the tears relieved her. She
-dried her eyes and gave me a nervous hug as she loosed her arm from my
-waist.
-
-‘I cannot stand this any longer,’ she said; ‘I must go and dance, or
-something. I know there is trouble coming, and if I sit quiet I shall
-make a fool of myself. But you will help them if you can,’ she cried in
-my ear. Alas! what could I do?
-
-By the time she left me the brothers had disappeared, and after half an
-hour’s waiting, as nothing seemed to come of it, and as the heat
-increased I went to the window again. The moon had gone off the house,
-but still shone white and full on the lawn like a great sheet of silvery
-gauze, bound and outlined by the blackest shadow. My mind had gone away
-from that temporary interruption. I was not thinking about the Greshams
-at all, when all at once I heard a rustle under the window. When I
-looked down two figures were standing there in the shadow. I thought at
-first they were robbers, perhaps murderers, waiting to waylay some one.
-All my self-command could not restrain a faint exclamation. There seemed
-a little struggle going on between the two. ‘You don’t know her,’ said
-the one; ‘why should you trust her?’ ‘She is safer than the servants,’
-said the other, ‘and she is fond of poor Ada.’ If my senses had not been
-quickened by excitement and alarm I should never have heard what they
-said. Then something white was held up to me in a hand that trembled.
-
-‘Give it to Ada--when you can,’ said Harry Gresham in a quick,
-breathless, imperative voice.
-
-I took the bit of paper and clutched it in my hand, not knowing what I
-did, and then stood stupefied, and saw them glide down in the dark
-shadow of the house towards the river. Where were they going? What had
-happened? This could be no sudden summons to a mother’s death-bed. They
-went cautiously in the darkness the two brothers, keeping among the
-trees; leaning out of the window as far as I could, I saw Gerald’s
-slighter figure and poor Harry’s portly one emerge into the moonlight
-close to the river, just upon the public road. Then I felt some one pull
-me on the other side. It was Lottie who had come back, excited, to ask
-if I had found out anything.
-
-‘I thought you were going to stretch out of the window altogether,’ she
-said, with a half-suspicious glance; and I held my bit of paper tight,
-with my fan in my other hand.
-
-‘I was looking at the moon,’ I said. ‘It is a lovely night. I am sorry
-it has gone off the house. And then the rooms are so hot inside.’
-
-‘I should like to walk on the terrace,’ said Lottie, ‘but my cavalier
-has left me. I was engaged to him for this dance, and he has never come
-to claim it. Where has he gone?’
-
-‘I suppose he must have left the room,’ I said. ‘I suppose it is their
-mother who is ill; perhaps they have slipped out quietly not to disturb
-the guests. If that is the case, you should go and stand by Mrs.
-Gresham, Lottie. She will want your help.’
-
-‘But they never would be so unkind as to steal away like this and leave
-everything to Ada!’ cried Lottie. ‘Never! Harry Gresham would not do it
-for twenty mothers. As for Gerald, I dare say _any_ excuse--’
-
-And here she stopped short, poor girl, with an air of exasperation, and
-looked ready to cry again.
-
-‘Never mind,’ I said; ‘go to Mrs. Gresham. Don’t say anything, Lottie,
-but stand by her. She may want it, for anything we know.’
-
-‘As you stood by us,’ said Lottie affectionately; and then she added
-with a sigh and a faint little smile, ‘But it never could be so bad as
-that with them.’
-
-I did not make her any reply. I was faint and giddy with fear and
-excitement; and just then, of course, Admiral Fortis’s brother, a hazy
-old gentleman, who was there on a visit, and _havered_ for hours
-together, whenever he could get a listener, hobbled up to me. He had got
-me into a corner as it were, and built entrenchments round me before I
-knew, and then he began his longest story of how his brother had been
-appointed to the _Bellerophon_, and how it was his interest that did it.
-The thing had happened half a century before, and the Admiral had not
-been at sea at all for half that time, and here was a present tragedy
-going on beside us, and the message of fate crushed up with my fan in my
-hand. Lottie Stoke made her appearance in the doorway several times,
-casting appealing looks at me. Once she beckoned, and pointed
-energetically to the drawing-room in which poor little Mrs. Gresham was.
-But when I got time to think, as I did while the old man was talking, I
-thought it was best, on the whole, to defer giving my letter, whatever
-it was. It could not be anything trifling or temporary which made the
-master of the house steal away in the darkness. I have had a good many
-things put into my hands to manage, but I don’t think I ever had
-anything so difficult as this. For I did not know, and could not divine,
-what the sudden misfortune was which I had to conceal from the world.
-All this time Mr. Fortis went on complacently with his talk about the
-old salt-water lords who were dead and gone. He stood over me, and was
-very animated; and I had to look up to him, and nod and smile, and
-pretend to listen. What ghosts we were, as Lottie said! My head began to
-swim at last as Mr. Fortis’s words buzzed in my ear. ‘“_My lord,” I
-said, “my brother’s services--not to speak of my own family
-influence--_”’ This formed a kind of chorus to it, and came in again and
-again. He was only in the middle of his narrative when Lottie came up,
-making her way through all obstacles. She was trembling, too, with
-excitement which had less foundation than mine.
-
-‘I can’t find Mr. Gresham anywhere,’ she whispered. ‘He is not in any of
-the rooms; none of the servants have seen him, and it is time for
-supper. What are we to do?’
-
-‘Is Ada alarmed?’ said I.
-
-‘No; she is such a child,’ said Lottie. ‘But she is beginning to wonder.
-Come and say something to her. Come and do something. Don’t sit for ever
-listening to that tiresome old man. I shall go crazy if you do not come;
-and she dancing as if nothing had happened!’
-
-Mr. Fortis had waited patiently while this whispering went on. When I
-turned to him again he went on the same as ever. ‘This was all to the
-senior sea-lord, you understand, Mrs. Mulgrave. As for the other--’
-
-‘I hope you will tell me the rest another time,’ I said, like a
-hypocrite. ‘I must go to Mrs. Gresham. Lottie has come to fetch me. I am
-so sorry--’
-
-‘Don’t say anything about it,’ said Mr. Fortis. ‘I shall find an
-opportunity,’ and he offered me his arm. I had to walk with him looking
-quite at my ease through all those pretty groups, one and another
-calling to me as I passed. ‘Oh, please tell me if my wreath is all
-right,’ Nelly Fortis whispered, drawing me from her uncle. ‘Mrs.
-Mulgrave, will you look if I am torn?’ cried another. Then pair after
-pair of dancers came whirling along, making progress dangerous. Such a
-sight at any time, when one is past the age at which one takes a
-personal interest in it, is apt to suggest a variety of thoughts; but at
-this moment! Lottie hovered about me, a kind of _avant-coureur_,
-clearing the way for me. There was something amazing to me in her
-excitement, especially as, just at the moment when she was labouring to
-open a way for me, Ada Gresham went flying past, her blue eyes shining,
-her cheeks more like roses than ever. She gave me a smiling little nod
-as her white dress swept over my dark one, and was gone to the opposite
-end of the room before I could say a word. Lottie drew her breath hard
-at the sight. Her sigh sounded shrill as it breathed past me. ‘Baby!’
-she whispered. ‘Doll!’ And then the tears came to her eyes. I was
-startled beyond description by her looks. Had she come to _care for_
-Gerald in the midst of that worldly dreadful scheme of hers? or what did
-her agitation mean?
-
-It was time for supper however, and the elders of the party began to
-look for it; and there were a good many people wondering and inquiring
-where was Mr. Gresham? where were the brothers? Young ladies stood with
-injured faces, who had been engaged to dance with Harry or Gerald; and
-Ada herself, when her waltz was over, began to look about anxiously. By
-this time I had got rid of Mr. Fortis, and made up my mind what to do. I
-went up to her and stopped her just as she was asking one of the
-gentlemen had he seen her husband?--where was Harry? I kept Harry’s bit
-of paper fast in my hand. I felt by instinct that to give her that would
-only make matters worse. I made up the best little story I could about
-old Mrs. Gresham’s illness.
-
-‘They both went off quite quietly, not to disturb the party,’ I said. ‘I
-was to put off telling you as long as I could, my dear, not to spoil
-your pleasure. They could not help themselves. They were very much put
-out at the thought of leaving you. But Sir Thomas will take Mr.
-Gresham’s place; and you know they were obliged to go.’
-
-Tears sprang to poor Ada’s eyes. ‘Oh, how unkind of Harry,’ she cried,
-‘to go without telling me. As if I should have kept on dancing had I
-known. I don’t understand it at all--to tell you, and go without a word
-to me!’
-
-‘My dear, he would not spoil your pleasure,’ I said; ‘and it would have
-been so awkward to send all these people away. And you know she may get
-better after all.’
-
-‘That is true,’ said easy-minded Ada. ‘It _would_ have been awkward
-breaking up the party. But it is odd about mamma. She was quite well
-yesterday. She was to have been here to-night.’
-
-‘Oh, it must have been something sudden,’ I cried, at the end of my
-invention. ‘Shall I call Sir Thomas? What can I do to be a help to you?
-You must be Mr. and Mrs. Gresham both in one for to-night.’
-
-Ada put her laced handkerchief up to her eyes and smiled a little faint
-smile. ‘Will _you_ tell Sir Thomas?’ she said. ‘I feel so bewildered I
-don’t know what to do.’
-
-Then I commenced another progress in search of Sir Thomas, Lottie Stoke
-still hovering about me as pale as a spirit. She took my arm as we went
-on. ‘Was that all a story?’ she whispered in my ear, clasping my arm
-tightly with her hands. I made her no answer; I dared not venture even
-to let her see my face. I went and told the same story very
-circumstantially over again to Sir Thomas. I hope it was not a great
-sin; indeed it might be quite true for anything I could tell. It was
-the only natural way of accounting for their mysterious absence; and
-everybody was extremely sorry, of course, and behaved as well as
-possible. Old Mrs. Gresham was scarcely known at Dinglewood, and Ada, it
-was evident, was not very profoundly affected after the first minute by
-the news, so that, on the whole, the supper-table was lively enough, and
-the very young people even strayed into the dancing-room after it. But
-of course we knew better than that when trouble had come to the house.
-It was not much above one o’clock in the morning when they were all
-gone. I pretended to go too, shaking off Lottie Stoke as best I could,
-and keeping out of sight in a corner while they all streamed away. On
-the whole, I think public opinion was in favour of Harry Gresham’s quiet
-departure without making any disturbance. ‘He was a very good son,’
-people said: and then some of them speculated if the poor lady died, how
-Harry and his wife would manage to live in the quietness which family
-affliction demanded. ‘They will bore each other to death,’ said a lively
-young man. ‘Oh, they are devoted to each other!’ cried a young lady. Not
-a suspicion entered any one’s mind. The explanation was quite
-satisfactory to everybody but Lottie Stoke; but then she had seen Harry
-Gresham’s face.
-
-When I had made quite sure that every one was gone, I stole back quietly
-into the blazing deserted rooms. Had I ever been disposed to moralize
-over the scene of a concluded feast, it certainly would not have been at
-that moment. Yet there was something pathetic in the look of the
-place--brilliant as day, with masses of flowers everywhere, and that air
-of lavish wealth, prodigality, luxury--and to feel that one carried in
-one’s hand something that might turn it into the scene of a tragedy, and
-wind up its bright story with the darkest conclusion. My heart beat loud
-as I went in. My poor little victim was still in the dancing-room--the
-largest and brightest of all. She had thrown herself down on a sofa,
-with her arms flung over her head like a tired child. Tears were
-stealing down her pretty cheeks. Her mouth was pouting and melancholy.
-When she saw me she rose with a sudden start, half annoyed, half
-pleased, to have some one to pour out her troubles upon. ‘I can’t help
-crying,’ she said. ‘I don’t mean to blame Harry; but it was unkind of
-him to go away without saying a word to me. We never, never parted in
-that way before;’ and from tears the poor little woman fell into
-sobs--grievous, innocent sobs, all about nothing, that broke one’s
-heart.
-
-‘I have come to tell you something,’ I said, ‘though I don’t know myself
-what it is. I am afraid it is something worse than you think. I said
-_that_ because your brother-in-law said it; but I don’t believe it is
-anything about Mrs. Gresham. Your husband put this into my hand through
-the window as he went away. Take courage, dear. You want all your
-courage--you must keep up for the sake of the children, Ada!’
-
-I babbled on, not knowing what words I used, and she stared at me with
-bewildered eyes. ‘Into your hand through the window!’ she said. She
-could not understand. She looked at the paper as if it were a charm.
-Then she opened it slowly, half afraid, half stupefied. Its meaning did
-not seem to penetrate her mind at first. After a while she gave a loud
-sudden shriek, and turned her despairing eyes on me. Her cry was so
-piercing and sudden that it rang through the house and startled every
-one. She was on the verge of hysterics, and incapable of understanding
-what was said to her, but the sight of the servants rushing to the door
-to ask what was the matter brought her to herself. She made a brave
-effort and recovered something like composure, while I sent them away;
-and then she held out to me the letter which she had clutched in her
-hand. It was written in pencil, and some words were illegible. This was
-what Harry said:--
-
- ‘Something unexpected has happened to me, my darling. I am obliged
- to leave you without time even to say good-bye. You will know all
- about it only too soon. It is ruin, Ada--and it is my own
- fault--but I never meant to defraud any man. God knows I never
- meant it. Try and keep up your heart, dear; I believe it will blow
- over, and you will be able to join me. I will write to you as soon
- as I am safe. You have your settlement. Don’t let anybody persuade
- you to tamper with your settlement. My father will take care of
- that. Why should you and the children share my ruin? Forgive me,
- dearest, for the trouble I have brought on you. I dare not pause to
- think of it. Gerald is with me. If they come after me, say I have
- gone to Bishop’s Hope.’
-
-‘What does it mean?’ cried poor Ada close to my ear. ‘Oh, tell me, you
-are our friend! What does it mean?’
-
-‘God knows,’ I said. My own mind could not take it in, still less could
-I express the vague horrors that floated across me. We sat together with
-the lights blazing round us, the grand piano open, the musicians’ stands
-still in their places. Ada was dressed like a queen of fairies, or of
-flowers: her gown was white, covered with showers of rosebuds; and she
-had a crown of natural roses in her bright hair. I don’t know how it was
-that her dress and appearance suddenly impressed themselves on me at
-that moment. It was the horror of the contrast, I suppose. She looked me
-piteously in the face, giving up all attempt at thought for her own
-part, seeking the explanation from me. ‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Why has
-he gone away? Who is coming after him? Oh, my Harry! my Harry!’ the poor
-young creature moaned. What could I say? I took her in my arms and
-kissed her. I could do no more.
-
-At this moment there came a loud knocking at the door. The house had
-fallen into deadly stillness, and at that hour of the night, and in the
-state we were, the sound was horrible. It rang through the place as if
-it had been uninhabited, waking echoes everywhere. Ada’s very lips grew
-white--she clasped her small hands over mine holding me fast. ‘It is
-some one who has forgotten something,’ I said, but my agitation was so
-great that I felt a difficulty in speaking. We sat and listened in
-frightful suspense while the door was opened and the sound of voices
-reached us. It was not Harry who had come back; it was not any one
-belonging to the place. Suddenly Ada rushed to the door with a flash of
-momentary petulance which simulated strength. ‘If it is any one for Mr.
-Gresham, bring him in here,’ she cried imperiously. I hurried after her
-and took her hand. It was like touching an electric machine. She was so
-strung to the highest pitch that only to touch her made me thrill and
-vibrate all over. And then the two men--two homely black
-figures--startled even in spite of their acquaintance with strange
-sights, came hesitatingly forward into the blazing light to confront the
-flower-crowned, jewelled, dazzling creature, made up of rose and lily,
-and diamond and pearl. They stood thunderstruck before her,
-notwithstanding the assurance of their trade. Probably they had never in
-their lives seen such an apparition before. The foremost of the two took
-off his hat with a look of deprecation. I do not think Ada had the least
-idea who they were. They were her husband’s enemies, endowed with a
-certain dignity by that fact. But I knew in a moment, by instinct, that
-they must be London detectives in search of him, and that the very worst
-possibility of my fears had come true.
-
-I cannot tell what we said to these men or they to us; they were not
-harsh nor unfeeling; they were even startled and awe-struck in their
-rough way, and stepped across the room cautiously, as if afraid of
-hurting something. We had to take them over all the house, through the
-rooms in which not a single light had been extinguished. To see us in
-our ball dresses, amid all that silent useless blaze of light, leading
-these men about, must have been a dreadful sight. For my part, though my
-share in it was nothing, I felt my limbs shake under me when we had gone
-over all the rooms below. But Ada took them all over the house. They
-asked her questions and she answered them in her simplicity. Crime might
-have fled out of that honest, joyous home, but it was innocence, candid
-and open, with nothing to conceal, which dwelt there. I had to interfere
-at last and tell them we would answer no more questions; and then they
-comforted and encouraged us in their way. ‘With this fine house and all
-these pretty things you’ll have a good bit of money yet,’ said the
-superior of the two; ‘and if Mr. Gresham was to pay up, they might come
-to terms.’
-
-‘Then is it debt?’ cried I, with a sudden bound of hope.
-
-The man gave a short laugh. ‘It’s debt to the law,’ he said. ‘It’s
-felony, and that’s bad; but if you could give us a bit of a clue to
-where he is, and this young lady would see ’em and try, why it mightn’t
-be so bad after all. Folks often lets a gentleman go when they won’t let
-a common man.’
-
-‘Would money do it?’ cried poor Ada; ‘and I have my settlement. Oh, I
-will give you anything, everything I have, if you’ll let my poor Harry
-go.’
-
-‘We haven’t got him yet, ma’am,’ said the man. ‘If you can find us any
-clue----’
-
-And it was then I interfered; I could not permit them to go on with
-their cunning questions to poor Ada. When they went away she sank down
-on a sofa near that open window in the boudoir from which I had seen
-Harry disappear. The window had grown by this time ‘a glimmering
-square,’ full of the blue light of early dawn. The birds began to chirp
-and stir in the trees; the air which had been so soft and refreshing
-grew chill, and made us shiver in our light dresses; the roses in Ada’s
-hair began to fade and shed their petals silently over her white
-shoulders. As long as the men were present she had been perfectly
-self-possessed; now suddenly she burst into a wild torrent of tears.
-‘Oh, Harry, my Harry, where is he? Why did not he take me with him?’ she
-cried. I cannot say any more, though I think every particular of that
-dreadful night is burned in on my memory. Such a night had never
-occurred in my recollection before.
-
-Then I got Ada to go to bed, and kept off from her the sleepy, insolent
-man in powder who came to know if he was to sit up for master. ‘Your
-master has gone to Bishop’s Hope,’ I said, ‘and will not return
-to-night.’ The fellow received what I said with a sneer. He knew as
-well, or perhaps better than we did, what had happened. Everybody would
-know it next day. The happy house had toppled down like a house of
-cards. Nothing was left but the helpless young wife, the unconscious
-babies, to fight their battle with the world. There are moments when the
-sense of a new day begun is positive pain. When poor Ada fell into a
-troubled sleep, I wrapped myself up and opened the window and let in the
-fresh morning air. Looking out over the country, I felt as if I could
-see everything. There was no charitable shadow now to hide a flying
-figure: every eye would be upon him, every creature spying his flight.
-Where was Harry? When I looked at the girl asleep--she was but a girl,
-notwithstanding her babies--and thought of the horror she would wake to,
-it made my heart sick. And her mother was dead. There seemed no one to
-stand by her in her trouble but a stranger like me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-When Ada woke however, instead of being, as I was, more hopeless, she
-was almost sanguine. ‘There is my money, you know,’ she said. ‘After
-all, so long as it is only money--I will go and see them, as the men
-said, and they will come to terms. So long as we are together, what do I
-mind whether we have a large house or a little one? And Harry himself
-speaks of my settlement. Don’t cry. I was frightened last night; but now
-I see what to do. Will you come up to town with me by the twelve o’clock
-train? And you shall see all will come right.’
-
-I had not the heart to say a word. I went home, and changed that
-wretched evening dress which I had worn all through the night. It was a
-comfort to throw it off and cast it away from me; and I never wore it
-again; the very sight of it made me ill ever after. I found Ada almost
-in high spirits with the strength of her determination and certainty
-that she was going to redeem her husband and make all right, when I went
-back. Just before noon however, when she was putting on her bonnet to
-start, a carriage swept up to the door. I was at the window of the
-dining-room when it came in sight, waiting for the brougham to convey us
-to the station. And the rector and his wife were coming up the avenue
-with ‘kind inquiries,’ in full belief that old Mrs. Gresham was dying,
-and that the house was ‘in affliction.’ No wonder they started and
-stared at the sight. It was old Mrs. Gresham herself, in her pink
-ribbons, fresh and full and splendid, in robust health, and all the
-colours of the rainbow, who came dashing up with her stately bays, to
-the door.
-
-I had only time to realize that all our little attempts to keep up
-appearances were destroyed for ever when the old people came in; for
-Harry’s father had come too, though no one ever noticed him in presence
-of his wife. Mrs. Gresham came in smiling and gracious, in her usual
-affable and rather overwhelming way. She would have dismissed me
-majestically before she went to her daughter-in-law, but I was in
-reality too obtuse, by reason of fatigue and excitement, to understand
-what she meant. When she went to Ada the old man remained with me. He
-was not an attractive old man, and I had scarcely spoken to him before.
-He walked about the room looking at everything, while I sat by the
-window. If he had been an auctioneer valuing the furniture, he could not
-have been more particular in his investigations. He examined the
-handsome oak furniture, which was the envy of the Green, the immense
-mirrors, the great china vases, the pictures on the walls, as if making
-a mental calculation. Then he came and stood by me, and began to talk.
-‘In my time young people were not so extravagant,’ he said. ‘There are
-thousands of pounds, I believe, sunk in this house.’
-
-‘Mr. Gresham had a great deal of taste,’ I said faltering.
-
-‘Taste! Nonsense. You mean waste,’ said the old man, sitting down
-astride on a carved chair, and looking at me across the back of it. ‘But
-I admit the things have their value--they’ll sell. Of course you know
-Harry has got into a mess?’ he went on. ‘Women think they can hush up
-these things; but that’s impossible. He has behaved like an idiot, and
-he must take the consequences. Fortunately the family is provided for.
-Her friends need not be concerned in that respect.’
-
-‘I am very glad,’ said I, as it was necessary to say something.
-
-‘So am I,’ said old Mr. Gresham. ‘I suppose they would have come upon
-_me_ if that had not been the case. It’s a bad business; but it is not
-so bad as it might have been. I can’t make out how a son of mine should
-have been such an ass. But they all go so fast in these days. I suppose
-you had a very grand ball last night? A ball!’ he repeated, with a sort
-of snort. I don’t know if there was any fatherly feeling at all in the
-man, but if there was he hid it under this mask of harshness and
-contempt.
-
-‘Will not Mr. Gresham return?’ I asked foolishly; but my mind was too
-much worn out to have full control of what I said.
-
-The old man gave a shrug, and glanced at me with a mixture of scorn and
-suspicion. ‘I can’t say what may happen in the future,’ he said dryly.
-‘I should advise him not. But Ada can live where she likes--and she will
-not be badly off.’
-
-Old Mrs. Gresham stayed a long time up-stairs with her daughter-in-law;
-so long that my patience almost deserted me. Mr. Gresham went off, after
-sitting silent opposite to me for some time, to look over the house,
-which was a relief; and no doubt I might have gone too, for we were far
-too late for the train. But I was too anxious to go away. When the two
-came down the old lady was just as cheerful and overwhelming as usual,
-though poor Ada was deadly pale. Mrs. Gresham came in with her rich,
-bustling, prosperous look, and shook hands with me over again. ‘I am
-sure I beg your pardon,’ she said; ‘I had so much to say to Ada. We have
-not met for a whole month; and poor child, they gave her such a fright
-last night. My dear, don’t you mean to give us some luncheon? Grandpapa
-never takes lunch; you need not wait for him, but I am quite hungry
-after my long drive.’
-
-Then poor Ada rose and rang the bell; she was trembling so that she
-tottered as she moved. I saw that her lips were dry, and she could
-scarcely speak. She gave her orders so indistinctly that the man could
-not hear her. ‘Luncheon!’ cried the old lady in her imperious way.
-‘Can’t you hear what Mrs. Gresham says? Lunch directly--and tell my
-people to be at the door in an hour. Ada, a man who stared in my face
-like that, and pretended not to understand, should not stay another day
-in my house; you are a great deal too easy. So your ball was interrupted
-last night, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she went on with a laugh, ‘and the blame
-laid on me. Oh, those boys! I hope the good people hereabouts will not
-take offence. I will never forgive them, though, for giving Ada such a
-fright, poor child. She thought I was dying, I suppose; and it was only
-one of Gerald’s sporting scrapes. Some horse was being tampered with,
-and he would have lost thousands if they had not rushed off; so they
-made out I was dying, the wretched boys. Ha, ha! I don’t look much like
-dying to-day.’
-
-‘No, indeed,’ was all I could say. As for Ada she never opened her white
-lips, except to breathe in little gasps like a woman in a fever. The old
-lady had all the weight of the conversation to bear; and indeed she was
-talking not for our benefit, but for that of the servants, who were
-bringing the luncheon. She looked so rich and assured of herself that I
-think they were staggered in their certainty of misfortune and believed
-her for the moment. The young footman, who had just been asking me
-privately to speak a word for him to secure him another place, gave me a
-stealthy imploring look, begging me as it were not to betray him. The
-old gentleman was out, going over the house and grounds, but Mrs.
-Gresham ate a very good luncheon and continued her large and ample talk.
-‘They sent me a message this morning,’ she said, as she ate, ‘and
-ordered me to come over and make their excuses and set things right.
-Just like boys! Give me some sherry, John Thomas. I shall scold them
-well, I promise you, when they come back--upsetting poor Ada’s nerves,
-and turning the house upside down like this. I don’t know what Ada would
-have done without you, Mrs. Mulgrave; and I hear you had their
-stable-men, trainers, or whatever they call them, to puzzle you too.’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said, struck dumb with wonder. Was this all an invention, or
-was she herself deceived? Poor Ada sat with her eyes cast down, and
-never spoke except in monosyllables; she could scarcely raise to her
-lips the wine which her mother-in-law made her swallow. I could not but
-admire the energy and determination of the woman. But at the same time
-she bewildered me, as she sat eating and drinking, with her elbow on the
-table and her rich lace mantle sweeping over the white tablecloth,
-conversing in this confident way. To meet her eyes, which had not a
-shade of timidity or doubt about them, and see her evident comfort and
-enjoyment, and believe she was telling a downright lie, was almost more
-than was possible. ‘I did not know Mr. Gerald was a racing man,’ I
-faltered, not knowing what to say.
-
-‘Oh, yes, he is on the turf,’ said Mrs. Gresham, shrugging her
-shoulders; ‘he is on everything that don’t pay. That boy has been a
-nuisance all his life. Not that there is anything bad about him; but
-he’s fashionable, you know, and we are known to be rich, and everybody
-gives him his own way; and Harry’s such a good brother----’ said the
-rash woman all at once, to show how much at her ease she was. But this
-was taking a step too much. Ada could bear it no longer. There was a
-sudden sound of choking sobs, and then she sprang from the table. The
-strain had gone too far.
-
-‘I hear baby crying; I must go to baby,’ she sobbed; and rushed from the
-room without any regard to appearances. Even Mrs. Gresham,
-self-possessed as she was, had gone too far for her own strength. Her
-lip quivered in spite of herself. She looked steadily down, and crumbled
-the bread before her in her strong agitated fingers. Then she gave a
-little laugh, which was not much less significant than tears.
-
-‘Poor little Ada,’ she said, ‘she can’t bear to be crossed. She has had
-such a happy life, when anything goes contrairy it puts her out.’
-Perhaps it was the quivering of her own lip that brought back her
-vernacular. And then we began to discuss the ball as if nothing had
-happened. Her husband came in while we were talking, and shrugged his
-shoulders and muttered disapprobation, but she took no notice. She must
-have been aware that I knew all; and yet she thought she could bewilder
-me still.
-
-I went home shortly after, grieved and disgusted and sick at heart,
-remembering all the wicked stories people tell of mercantile dishonesty,
-of false bankruptcies, and downright robberies, and the culprits who
-escape and live in wealth and comfort abroad. This was how it was to be
-in the case of Harry Gresham. His wife had her settlement, and would go
-to him, and they would be rich, and well off, though he had as good as
-stolen his neighbour’s property and squandered it away. Of course I did
-not know all the particulars then; and I had got to be fond of these
-young people. I knew very well that Harry was not wicked, and that his
-little wife was both innocent and good. When one reads such stories in
-the papers, one says, ‘Wretches!’ and thinks no more of it. But these
-two were not wretches, and I was fond of them, and it made me sick at
-heart. I went up-stairs and shut myself into my own room, not being able
-to see visitors or to hear all the comment that, without doubt, was
-going on. But it did not mend matters when I saw from my window Mrs.
-Gresham driving past, lying back in her carriage, sweeping along swift
-as two superb horses could carry her, with her little old husband in the
-corner by her side, and a smile on her face, ready to wave her hand in
-gracious recognition of any one she knew. She was like a queen coming
-among us, rather than the mother of a man who had fled in darkness and
-shame. I never despised poor Mrs. Stoke or thought less of her for
-Everard’s downfall, but I felt scorn and disgust rise in my heart when
-these people passed my door; though Mrs. Gresham, too, was her son’s
-champion in her own worldly way.
-
-Some hours later Ada sent me a few anxious pleading words, begging me to
-go to her. I found her in the avenue, concealing herself among the
-trees; though it was a warm summer day she was cold and shivering. I do
-not know any word that can express her pallor. It was not the whiteness
-of death, but of agonized and miserable life, palpitating in every nerve
-and straining every faculty.
-
-‘Hush!’ she said. ‘Don’t go to the house--I can’t bear it--I am watching
-for him--here!’
-
-‘Is he coming back?’ I cried in terror.
-
-‘I do not know; I can’t tell where he is, or where he is going!’ cried
-poor Ada, grasping my arm; ‘but if he should come back he would be
-taken. The house is watched. Did you not see that old man sitting under
-the hedge? There are people everywhere about watching for my Harry; and
-they tell me I am to stay quiet and take no notice. I think I will
-die--I wish I could die!’
-
-‘No, my darling!’ I said, crying over her. ‘Tell me what it is? Did they
-bring you no comfort? He will not come back to be taken. There is no
-fear. Did they not tell you what it means?’
-
-‘They told me,’ cried Ada, with a violent colour flushing over her face,
-‘that I was to keep my money to myself, and not to pay back
-that--that--what he has taken! It is true; he has taken some money that
-was not his, and lost it; but he meant to pay it back again, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. We were so rich; he knew he could pay it all back. And now he
-has lost everything and can’t pay it. And they will put him in prison.
-Oh, I wish he had died! I wish we had all died!’ cried Ada, ‘rather than
-this--rather than to feel what I do to-day!’
-
-‘My dear,’ I cried, ‘don’t say so; we cannot die when we please. It is a
-terrible misfortune; but when he did not mean it--’
-
-Great tears rushed to Ada’s eyes. ‘He did not mean _that_,’ she said;
-‘but I think he meant me to keep my money and live on it. Oh, what shall
-I do! They say I will be wicked if I give it up. I will work for him
-with all my heart. But I cannot go on living like this, and keep what is
-not mine. If your husband had done it, Mrs. Mulgrave--don’t be angry
-with me--would not you have sold the cottage and given up everything?
-And what am I to do?’
-
-‘You must come in and rest,’ I said. ‘Never mind what they said to you.
-You must do what is right, Ada, and Gerald will stand by you. He will
-know how to do it. Come in now and rest.’
-
-‘Ah, Gerald!’ cried the poor child, and then she leant on my shoulder
-and cried. The moment she heard even the name of one man whom she could
-trust her strength broke down. ‘Gerald will know how to do it,’ she said
-faintly, as I led her in, and tried to smile at me. It was a gleam of
-comfort in the darkness.
-
-I cannot describe the period of terrible suspense that followed. I
-stayed with her, making no pretence of going back to my own house;
-though when the story came to be in the newspapers all my friends wrote
-letters to me and disapproved of my conduct. I did not care; one knows
-one’s own duties better than one’s friends do. The day after the ball
-hosts of cards, and civil messages, and ‘kind inquiries’ had poured upon
-Ada; but after that they totally stopped. Not a carriage nor a visitor
-came near the house for the three last days. The world fell away from us
-and left the poor young creature to bear her burden alone. In the midst
-or all this real suffering there was one little incident which affected
-my temper more than all the rest. Old Thomas Lee, an old man from the
-village, who used to carry little wares about in a basket, and made his
-living by it, had taken his place under the hedge close to the gates of
-Dinglewood, and sat there watching all day long. Of course he was paid
-to do it, and he was very poor. But I don’t think the money he has
-earned so has done him much good. I have never given a penny or a
-penny’s worth to old Lee since that time. Many a sixpence poor Harry had
-tossed at him as he passed in his Yankee waggon every morning to the
-station. I had no patience with the wretched old spy. He had the
-assurance to take off his hat to me when I went into the house he was
-watching, and I confess that it was with a struggle, no later back than
-last winter, when the season was at its coldest, that I consented to
-give him a little help for his children’s sake.
-
-It was nearly a week before we got any letters, and all these long days
-we watched and waited, glad when every night fell, trembling when every
-morning rose; watching at the windows, at the gates, everywhere that a
-peep could be had of the white, blinding, vacant road. Every time the
-postman went round the Green our hearts grew faint with anxiety: once or
-twice when the telegraph boy appeared, even I, though I was but a
-spectator, felt the life die out of my heart. But at last this period of
-dreadful uncertainty came to a close. It was in the morning by the first
-post that the letters came. They were under cover to me, and I took them
-to Ada’s room while she was still sleeping the restless sleep of
-exhaustion. She sprang up in a moment and caught at her husband’s letter
-as if it had been a revelation from heaven. The happiest news in the
-world could not have been more eagerly received. He was safe. He had put
-the Channel between him and his pursuers. There was no need for further
-watching. The relief in itself was a positive happiness. Ten days ago it
-would have been heart-rending to think of Harry Gresham as an escaped
-criminal, as an exile, for whom return was impossible; disgraced,
-nameless, and without hope. To-day the news was joyful news; he was
-safe, if nothing more.
-
-Then for the first time Ada indulged in the luxury of tears--tears that
-came in floods, like those thunder-showers which ease the hearts of the
-young. She threw herself on my neck and kissed me again and again. ‘I
-should have died but for you: I had no mamma of my own to go to,’ she
-sobbed like a baby. Perhaps the thing that made these childish words go
-so to my heart was that I had no child.
-
-Of course I expected, and everybody will expect, that after this
-excitement she should have fallen ill. But she did not. On the contrary,
-she came down-stairs with me and ate (almost for the first time) and
-smiled, and played with her children, while I stood by with the feeling
-that I ought to have a brain fever myself if Ada would not see what was
-expected of her. But as the day ran on she became grave, and ever
-graver. She said little, and it was mostly about Gerald; how he must
-come home and manage everything; how she was determined to take no
-rest, to listen to no argument, till the money was paid. I went home to
-my own house that evening, and she made no opposition. I said good-night
-to her in the nursery, where she was sitting close by her little girl’s
-bed. She was crying, poor child, but I did not wonder at that; and nurse
-was a kind woman, and very attentive to her little mistress. I went
-round to the terrace and out by the garden, without having any
-particular reason for it. But before I reached the gate some one came
-tripping after me, and looking round I saw it was Ada, wrapped in a
-great waterproof cloak. She was going to walk home with me, she said. I
-resisted her coming, but it was in vain. It was a warm, balmy night, and
-I could not understand why she should have put on her great cloak. But
-as soon as she was safe in my little drawing-room, her secret came out.
-Then she opened her mantle with a smile. On one of her arms hung a
-bundle; on the other rested her sleeping baby. She laughed at my amaze,
-and then she cried. ‘I am going to Harry,’ she said; and held her child
-closer, and dried her eyes and sat immovable, ready to listen to
-anything I chose to say. Heaven knows I said everything I could think
-of--of the folly of it, of her foolhardiness; that she was totally
-unable for the task she was putting on herself; that Harry had Gerald,
-and could do without her. All which she listened to with a smile,
-impenetrable, and not to be moved. When I had come to an end of my
-arguments, she stretched out to me the arm on which the bundle hung, and
-drew me close to her and kissed me again. ‘You are going to give me some
-biscuits and a little flask of wine,’ she said, ‘to put in my pocket. I
-have one of the housekeeper’s old-fashioned pockets, which is of some
-use. And then you must say “God bless you,” and let me go.’
-
-‘God bless you, my poor child,’ I said, overcome; ‘but you must not go;
-little Ada too--’
-
-Then her eyes filled with tears. ‘My pretty darling!’ she said; ‘but
-grandmamma will take her to Bishop’s Hope. It is only baby that cannot
-live without his mother. Baby and Harry. What is Gerald? I know he wants
-_me_.’
-
-‘But he can wait,’ I cried; ‘and you so young, so delicate, so unused to
-any trouble!’
-
-‘I can carry my child perfectly,’ said Ada. ‘I never was delicate. There
-is a train at eleven down to Southampton, I found it out in the book:
-and after that I know my way. I am a very good traveller,’ she said with
-a smile, ‘and Gerald must come to settle everything. Give me the
-biscuits, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, and kiss me and let me go.’
-
-And it had to be so, though I pleaded with her till I was hoarse. When
-the moment came, I put on my cloak too and walked with her, late as it
-was, a mile off to the new station, which both she and I had thought too
-far for walking in the cheerful daylight. I carried the bundle, while
-she carried the baby, and we looked like two homely country women
-trudging home. She drew her hood over her head while she got her
-ticket, and I waited outside. Then in the dark I kissed her for the last
-time. I could not speak, nor did she. She took the bundle from me,
-grasping my hand with her soft fingers almost as a man might have done;
-and we kissed each other with anguish, like people who part for ever.
-And I have never seen her again.
-
-As I came back, frightened and miserable, all by myself along the
-moonlit road, I had to pass the Stokes’ cottage. Lottie was leaning out
-of the window, though it was now nearly midnight, with her face, all
-pallid in the moon, turned towards Dinglewood. I could scarcely keep
-myself from calling to her. She did not know what we had been doing, yet
-her heart had been with us that night.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-
-I will not describe the tumult that arose when it was discovered. The
-servants rushed over to me in a body, and I suggested that they should
-send for Mrs. Gresham, and that great lady came, in all her splendour,
-and took little Ada away, and gave everybody ‘notice.’ Then great bills
-of the auction covered the pillars at the gate, and strangers came in
-heaps to see the place. In a month everything had melted away like a
-tale that is told. The Greshams, and their wealth, and their liberality,
-and their good-nature fell out of the very recollection of the people on
-the Green, along with the damask and the gilding and the flowers, the
-fine carriages and the powdered footmen. Everything connected with them
-disappeared. The new tenant altered the house a second time, and
-everything that could recall the handsome young couple and their lavish
-ways was cleared away. Of course there was nothing else talked of for a
-long time after. Everybody had his or her account of the whole business.
-Some said poor Harry met his pursuers in the field close to the river,
-and that Gerald and he fought with them, and left them all but dead in
-the grass; some said that Ada and I defended the house, and would not
-let them in; and there were countless romances about the escape and
-Ada’s secret following after. The imagination of my neighbours made many
-a fancy sketch of that last scene; but never hit upon anything so
-touching as my last glimpse of her, with her baby under her cloak, going
-into the train. I held my peace, and let them talk. She had been as my
-own child for about a week, just a week of our lives; before that she
-was a common acquaintance, after it a stranger; but I could not let any
-vulgar tongues meddle with our relationship or her story in that sacred
-time.
-
-And after a while the tale fell into oblivion, as every story does if we
-can but wait long enough. People forgot about the Greshams; sometimes a
-stranger would observe the name of Mr. Gresham, of Bishop’s Hope, in
-some list of county charities, and would ask if he was a Gresham of
-Greshambury, or if he was any connection of the man who ran away. Of
-course, at the time, it was in all the newspapers. He had taken money
-that somebody had trusted him with and used it in his speculations. Of
-course he meant to pay it back; but then a great crash came. The men say
-there was no excuse for him, and I can see that there is no excuse; but
-he never meant it, poor Harry! And then the papers were full of further
-incidents, which were more unusual than Harry’s sin or his flight. The
-_Times_ devoted a leading article to it which everybody read, holding
-Mrs. Gresham up to the applause of the world. Ada gave up her settlement
-and all her own fortune, and ‘one of his brothers,’ the papers said,
-came forward, too, and most of the money was paid back. But Harry, poor
-fellow, disappeared. He was as if he had gone down at sea. His name and
-every sign of his life went out of knowledge--waves of forgetfulness,
-desertion, exile closed over them. And at Dinglewood they were never
-either seen or heard of again.
-
-As long as it continued to be in the papers, Lottie Stoke kept in a very
-excited state. She came to me for ever, finding out every word that was
-printed about it, dwelling on everything. That evening when the article
-appeared about Mrs. Gresham’s heroic abandonment of her fortune, and
-about ‘one of his brothers,’ Lottie came with her eyes lighted up like
-windows in an illumination, and her whole frame trembling with
-excitement. She read it all to me, and listened to my comments, and
-clasped my hand in hers when I cried out, ‘That must be Gerald!’ She sat
-on the footstool, holding the paper, and gazed up into my face with her
-eyes like lamps. ‘Then I do not mind!’ she cried, and buried her face in
-her hands and sobbed aloud. And I did not ask her what she meant--I had
-not the heart.
-
-It was quite years after before I heard anything more of the Greshams,
-and then it was by way of Lottie Stoke that the news came. She had grown
-thinner and more worn year by year. She had not had the spirits to go
-out, and they were so poor that they could have no society at home. And
-by degrees Lottie came to be considered a little old, which is a
-dreadful business for an unmarried girl when her people are so poor.
-Mrs. Stoke did not upbraid her; but still, it may be guessed what her
-feelings were. But, fortunately, as Lottie sank into the background,
-Lucy came to the front. She was pretty, and fresh, and gay, and more
-popular than her sister had ever been. And, by and by, she did fulfil
-the grand object of existence, and married well. When Lucy told me of
-her engagement she was very angry with her sister.
-
-‘She says, how can I do it? She asks me if I have forgotten Gerald
-Gresham?’ cried Lucy. ‘As if I ever cared for Gerald Gresham; or as if
-anybody would marry him after---- I shall think she cared for him
-herself if she keeps going on.’
-
-‘Lucy!’ said Lottie, flushing crimson under her hollow eyes. Lucy, for
-her part, was as bright as happiness, indignation, high health, and
-undiminished spirits could make her. But, for my part, I liked her
-sister best.
-
-‘Well!’ she said, ‘and I do think it. You _would_ lecture me about him
-when we were only having a little fun. As if I ever cared for him. And I
-don’t believe,’ cried Lucy courageously, ‘that he ever cared for me.’
-
-Her sister kissed her, though she had been so angry. ‘Don’t let us
-quarrel now when we are going to part,’ she said, with a strange quiver
-in her voice. Perhaps the child was right; perhaps he had never cared
-for her, though Lottie and I both thought he did. He cared for neither
-of them, probably; and there was no chance that he would ever come back
-to Dinglewood, or show himself where his family had been so disgraced.
-But yet Lottie brightened up a little after that day, I can scarcely
-tell why.
-
-Some time after she went on a visit to London in the season; and it was
-very hard work for her, I know, to get some dresses to go in, for she
-never would have any of Lucy’s presents. She was six weeks away, and she
-came back looking a different creature. The very first morning after her
-return she came over to me, glowing with something to tell. ‘Who do you
-think I met?’ she said with a soft flush trembling over her face. Her
-look brought one name irresistibly to my mind. But I would not re-open
-that old business; I shook my head, and said I did not know.
-
-‘Why, Gerald Gresham!’ she cried. ‘It is true, Mrs. Mulgrave; he is
-painting pictures now--painting, you understand, not for his pleasure,
-but like a trade. And he told me about Ada and poor Harry. They have
-gone to America. It has changed him very much, even his looks; and
-instead of being rich, he is poor.’
-
-‘Ah,’ I said, ‘“one of his brothers.” You always said it was Gerald;’
-but I was not prepared for what was to come next.
-
-‘Did not I?’ cried Lottie, triumphant; ‘I knew it all the time.’ And
-then she paused a little, and sat silent, in a happy brooding over
-something that was to come. ‘And I think she was right,’ said Lottie
-softly. ‘He had not been thinking of Lucy; it was not Lucy for whom he
-cared.’
-
-I took her hands into my own, perceiving what she meant; and then all at
-once Lottie fell a crying, but not for sorrow.
-
-‘That was how I always deceived myself,’ she said. ‘It was so base of me
-at first; I wanted to marry him because he was rich. And then I thought
-it was Lucy he liked; she was so young and so pretty--’ Then she made a
-long pause, and put my hands upon her hot cheeks and covered herself
-with them. ‘Your hands are so cool,’ she said, ‘and so soft and kind. I
-am going to marry him now, Mrs. Mulgrave, and he is poor.’
-
-This is a kind of postscript to the story, but still it is so connected
-with it that it is impossible to tell the one without the other. We were
-much agitated about this marriage on the Green. If Gerald Gresham had
-been rich, it would have been a different matter. But a stockbroker’s
-son, with disgrace in the family, and poor. I don’t know any one who was
-not sorry for Mrs. Stoke under this unexpected blow. But I was not sorry
-for Lottie. Gerald, naturally, is not fond of coming to the Green, but I
-see them sometimes in London, and I think they suit each other. He tells
-me of poor Ada every time I see him. And I believe old Mr. Gresham is
-very indignant at Harry’s want of spirit in not beginning again, and at
-Ada for giving up her settlement, and at Gerald for expending his money
-to help them--‘A pack of fools,’ says the old man. But of course they
-will all, even the shipwrecked family in America, get something from him
-when he dies. As for the mother, I met her once at Lottie’s door,
-getting into her fine carriage with the bays, and she was very affable
-to me. In her opinion it was all Ada’s fault. ‘What can a man do with an
-extravagant wife who spends all his money before it is made?’ she said
-as she got into her carriage; and I found it a little hard to keep my
-temper. But the Greshams and their story, and all the brief splendours
-of Dinglewood are almost forgotten by this time by everybody on the
-Green.
-
-
-
-
-THE SCIENTIFIC GENTLEMAN
-
-
-
-
-PART I
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-There were a great variety of houses on the Green; some of them handsome
-and wealthy, some very old-fashioned, some even which might be called
-tumbledown. The two worst and smallest of these were at the lower end of
-the Green, not far from the ‘Barleymow.’ It must not be supposed however
-that they were unpleasantly affected by the neighbourhood of the
-‘Barleymow.’ They were withdrawn from contact with it quite as much as
-we were, who lived at the other end; and though they were small and out
-of repair, and might even look mouldy and damp to a careless passer-by,
-they were still houses for gentlefolk, where nobody need have been
-ashamed to live. They were built partly of wood and partly of
-whitewashed brick, and each stood in the midst of a very luxuriant
-garden. At the time Mr. Reinhardt, of whom I am going to speak, came to
-East Cottage, as it was called, the place had been very much neglected;
-the trees and bushes grew wildly all over the garden; the flower-beds
-had gone to ruin; the kitchen-garden was a desert, with only a dreary
-cabbage or great long straggling onion-plant run to seed showing among
-the gooseberries and currants, which looked like the copsewood in a
-forest. It is miserable to see a place go to destruction like this, and
-I could not but reflect often how many poor people there were without a
-roof to shelter them, while this house was going to ruin for want of an
-inhabitant. ‘My dear lady, that is communism, rank communism,’ the
-Admiral said to me when I ventured to express my sentiments aloud; but I
-confess I never could see it.
-
-The house belonged to Mr. Falkland, who was a distant relation of Lord
-Goodwin’s, and lived chiefly in London. He was a young man, and a
-barrister, living, I suppose, in chambers, as most of them do; but I
-wondered he did not furnish the place and keep it in order, if it had
-been only for the pleasure of coming down with his friends from Saturday
-to Monday, to spend Sunday in the country. When I suggested this, young
-Robert Lloyd, Mrs. Damerel’s brother, took it upon him to laugh.
-
-‘There is nothing to do here,’ he said. ‘If it were near the river, for
-boating, it would be a different matter, or even if there was a stream
-to fish in; but a fellow has nothing to do here, and why should Falkland
-come to bore himself to death?’ Thus the young man ended with a sigh for
-himself, though he had begun with a laugh at me.
-
-‘If he is so afraid to be bored himself,’ said I--for I was rather angry
-to hear our pretty village so lightly spoken of--‘I am sure he must know
-quantities of people who would not be bored. Young barristers marry
-sometimes, I suppose, imprudently, like other young people----’
-
-‘Curates, for instance,’ said Robert, who was a saucy boy.
-
-‘Curates, and young officers, and all sorts of foolish people,’ said I;
-‘and think what a comfort that little house would be to a poor young
-couple with babies! Oh no, I do not like to see such a waste; a house
-going to rack and ruin for want of some one to live in it, and so many
-people famishing for want of fresh air, and the country. Don’t say any
-more, for it hurts me to see it. I wish it were mine to do what I liked
-with it only for a year.’
-
-‘Communism, rank communism,’ said the Admiral. But if that is communism,
-then I am a communist, and I don’t deny it. I would not waste a
-Christian dwelling-place any more than I would throw away good honest
-wholesome bread.
-
-However this state of things came to an end one spring, a good many
-years ago. Workmen came and began to put East Cottage in order. We all
-took the greatest interest in the work. It was quite a place to go to
-for our afternoon walks, and sometimes as many as three and four parties
-would meet there among the shavings and the pails of plaster and
-whitewash. It was being very thoroughly done up. We consulted each other
-and gave our opinions about all the papers, as if it mattered whether we
-liked them or not. The Green thought well of the new tenant’s taste on
-the whole, though some of us had doubts about the decoration of the
-drawing-room, which was rather a dark little room by nature. The paper
-for it was terribly artistic. It was one of those new designs which I
-always think are too mediæval for a private house--groups of five or six
-daisies tied together, with long stalks detached and distinct, and all
-the hair on their heads standing on end, so to speak; but we who
-objected had a conviction that it was only our ignorance, and merely
-whispered to each other in corners, that we were not quite sure--that
-perhaps it was just a little--but the people who knew better thought
-it showed very fine taste indeed.
-
-It was some time before we found out who the new tenant was. He did not
-come down until after everything had been arranged and ready for some
-weeks. Then we found out that he was a Mr. Reinhardt, a gentleman who
-was well-known, people said, in scientific circles. He was of German
-extraction, we supposed, by his name, and as for his connections, or
-where he came from, nobody knew anything about them. An old housekeeper
-was the first person who made her appearance, and then came an old
-man-servant; both of them looked the very models of respectability, but
-I do not think, for my own part, that the sight of them gave me a very
-pleasant feeling about their master. They chilled you only to look at
-them. The woman had a suspicious, watchful look, her eyes seemed to be
-always on the nearest corner looking for some one, and she had an air of
-resolution which I should not have liked to struggle against. The man
-was not quite so alarming, for he was older and rather feeble on his
-legs. One felt that there must be some weakness in his character to
-justify the little deviousness that would now and then appear in his
-steps. These two people attracted our notice in the interval of waiting
-for their master. The man’s name was White--an innocent, feeble sort of
-name, but highly respectable--and he called the woman something which
-sounded like Missis Sarah; but whether it was her Christian name or her
-surname we never could make out.
-
-It was on a Monday evening, and I had gone to dine at the Lodge with Sir
-Thomas and Lady Denzil, when the first certain news of the new tenant of
-East Cottage reached us. The gentlemen, of course, had been the first to
-hear it. Somehow, though it is taken for granted that women are the
-great traffickers in gossip, it is the men who always start the subject.
-When they came into the drawing-room after dinner they gave us the
-information, which they had already been discussing among themselves
-over their wine.
-
-‘Mr. Reinhardt has arrived,’ Sir Thomas said to Lady Denzil; and we all
-asked, ‘When?’
-
-‘He came yesterday, I believe,’ said Sir Thomas.
-
-‘Yesterday! Why, yesterday was Sunday,’ cried some one; and though we
-are, as a community, tolerably free from prejudice, we were all somewhat
-shocked; and there was a pause.
-
-‘I believe Sunday is considered the most lucky day for everything
-abroad,’ said Lady Denzil, after that interval; ‘for beginning a
-journey, and no doubt for entering a house. And as he is of German
-extraction----’
-
-‘He does not look like a German,’ said Robert Lloyd; ‘he is quite an old
-fellow--about fifty, I should say--and dark, not fair.’
-
-At this speech the most of us laughed; for an old fellow of fifty seemed
-absurd to us, who were that age, or more; but Robert, at twenty, had no
-doubt on the subject.
-
-‘Well,’ he said, half offended, ‘I could not have said a young fellow,
-could I? He stoops, he is awfully thin, like an old magician, and
-shabbily dressed, and----’
-
-‘You must have examined him from head to foot, Robert.’
-
-‘A fellow can’t help seeing,’ said Robert, ‘when he looks; and I thought
-you all wanted to know.’
-
-Then we had a discussion as to what notice should be taken of the new
-comer. We did not know whether he was married or not, and,
-consequently, could not go fully into the question; but the aspect of
-the house and the looks of the servants were much against it. For my own
-part, I felt convinced he was not married; and, so far as we ladies were
-concerned, the question was thus made sufficiently easy. But the
-gentlemen felt the weight proportionably heavy on their shoulders.
-
-‘I never knew any one of the name of Reinhardt,’ Sir Thomas said with a
-musing air.
-
-‘Probably he will have brought letters from somebody,’ the Admiral
-suggested: and that was a wonderful comfort to all the men.
-
-Of course he must have letters from somebody; he must know some one who
-knew Sir Thomas, or Mr. Damerel, or the Admiral, or General Perronet, or
-the Lloyds. Surely the world was not so large as to make it possible
-that the new comer did not know some one who knew one of the people on
-the Green. As for being a scientific notability, or even a literary
-character, I am afraid that would not have done much for him in
-Dinglefield. If he had been cousin to poor Lord Glyndon, who was next to
-an idiot, it would have been of a great deal more service to him. I do
-not say that we were right; I think there are other things which ought
-to be taken into consideration; but, without arguing about it, there is
-no doubt that so it was.
-
-The Green generally kept a watchful eye for some time on the East
-Cottage. There were no other servants except those two whom we had
-already seen. Sometimes the gardener, who kept all the little gardens
-about in order--‘doing for’ ladies like myself, for instance, who could
-not afford to keep a gardener--was called in to assist at East Cottage;
-and I believe (of course I could not question him on the subject; I
-heard this through one of the maids) that he was very jocular about the
-man-servant, who was a real man-of-all-work, doing everything you could
-think of, from helping to cook, down to digging in the garden. Our
-gardener opened his mouth and uttered a great laugh when he spoke of
-him. He held the opinion common to a great many of his class, that to
-undertake too much was a positive injury to others. A servant who kept
-to his own work, and thought it was ‘not his place’ to interfere with
-anything beyond it, or lend a helping hand in matters beyond his own
-immediate calling, was Matthew’s model of what a servant ought to be,
-and a man who pretended to be a butler, and was a Jack-of-all-trades,
-was a contemptible object to our gardener: ‘taking the bread out o’
-other folks’s mouths,’ he said. He thought the man at the East Cottage
-was a foreigner, and altogether had a very poor opinion of him. But
-however what was a great deal worse was the fact that neither the
-man-servant, nor the woman, nor the master, appeared to care for our
-notice, or in any way took the place they ought to have done in our
-little community. They had their things down from London; they either
-did their washing ‘within themselves’ or sent it also away to a
-distance; they made no friends, and sought none. Mr. Reinhardt brought
-no letters of introduction. Sometimes--but rarely--he might be seen of
-an evening walking towards the Dell, with an umbrella over his head to
-shield him from the setting sun, but he never looked at anybody whom he
-met, or showed the least inclination to cultivate acquaintance, even
-with a child or a dog. And the worst of all was that he certainly never
-went to church. We were very regular church-goers on the Green. Some of
-us preferred sometimes to go to a little church in the woods, which was
-intended for the scattered population of our forest district, and was
-very pretty and sweet in the midst of the great trees, instead of to the
-parish. But to one or other everybody went once every Sunday at least.
-It was quite a pretty sight on Sunday morning to see everybody turning
-out--families all together, and lonely folk like myself, who scarcely
-could feel lonely when there was such a feeling of harmony and
-friendliness about. The young people set off walking generally a little
-while before us; but most of the elder people drove, for it was a good
-long way. And though some rigid persons thought it was wrong on the
-Sunday, yet the nice carriages and horses looked pleasant, and the
-servants always had time to come to church; and an old lady like Lady
-Denzil, for instance, must have stayed at home altogether if she had not
-been allowed to drive. I think a distinction should be made in such
-cases. But when all the houses thus opened their doors and poured forth
-their inhabitants, it may be supposed how strange it looked that one
-house should never open and no figure ever come from it to join the
-Sunday stream. Even the housekeeper, so far as we could ascertain, never
-had a Sunday out. They lived within those walls, within the trees that
-were now so tidy and trim. One morning when I had a cold, and was
-reading the service by myself in my own room, I had a glimpse of the
-master of the house. It was a summer day, very soft and blue, and full
-of sunshine. You know what I mean when I say blue--the sky seemed to
-stoop nearer to the earth, the earth hushed itself and looked up all
-still and gentle to the sky. There were no clouds above, and nobody
-moving below; nothing but a little thrill and flicker of leaves, a faint
-rustle of the grass, and the birds singing with a softer note, as if
-they too knew it was Sunday. My room is in the front of the house, and
-overlooks all the Green. The window was open, and the click of a latch
-sounding in the stillness made me lift my head without thinking from the
-lesson I was reading. It was Mr. Reinhardt, who had come out of his
-cottage. He came to the garden gate and stood for a moment looking out.
-I was not near enough to see his face, but in every line of his spare,
-stooping figure there was suspicion and doubt. He looked to the right
-and to the left with a curious prying eagerness, as if he expected to
-see some one coming. And then he came out altogether, and began to walk
-up and down, up and down. The stillness was so great that, though he
-walked very softly, the sound of his steps on the gravel of the road
-reached me from time to time. I stopped in my reading to watch him, in
-spite of myself. Every time he turned he looked about him in the same
-suspicious, curious way. Was he waiting for some one? Was he looking out
-for a visitor? or was he (the thought sprang into my mind all at once)
-insane perhaps, and had escaped from his keepers in the cottage? This
-thought made my heart jump, but a little reflection calmed me, for he
-had not the least appearance of insanity. The little jar now and then of
-his foot when he turned kept me in excitement; I felt it impossible to
-keep from watching him. When I found how abstracted my mind was getting,
-I changed my place that I might not be tempted to look out any more,
-feeling that it was wrong to yield to this curiosity; and when I had
-finished my reading the first carriage--the Denzils’ carriage--was
-coming gleaming along the distant road in the sunshine, coming back from
-church, and the lonely figure was gone. I did not know whether he had
-gone in again or had extended his walk. But I felt somehow all that day,
-though you will say with very little reason, that I knew something more
-about our strange neighbour than most people did on the Green.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-This seclusion and isolation of East Cottage did not however last very
-long. Before the summer was over Sir Thomas, who, though he stood on his
-dignity sometimes, was very kind at bottom, began to feel compunctious
-about his solitary neighbour: now and then he would say something which
-betrayed this. ‘It worries me to think there is some one there who has
-been taken no notice of by anybody,’ he would say. ‘Of course it is his
-own fault--entirely his own fault.’ The next time one met him he would
-return to the subject. ‘What a lovely day! Everybody seems to be
-out-of-doors--except at East Cottage, where they have the blinds drawn
-down.’ This would be said with a pucker of vexation and annoyance about
-his mouth. He was angry with the stranger, and sorry, and did not know
-what to do. And I for one knew what would follow. But we were all very
-curious when we heard that Sir Thomas had actually called. The Stokes
-came running in to tell me one afternoon. ‘Oh, fancy, Mrs. Mulgrave, Sir
-Thomas has called!’ cried Lucy. ‘And he has been admitted, which is
-still greater fun,’ said Robert Lloyd, who was with them. I may say in
-passing that this was before Robert had passed his examination, when he
-was an idle young man at home, trying hard to persuade Lucy Stoke that
-he and she were in love with each other. Their parents, of course, would
-never have permitted such a thing for a moment, and fortunately there
-turned out to be nothing in it; but at present this was the chief
-occupation of Robert’s life.
-
-‘I am very glad,’ said I. ‘I knew Sir Thomas never would be happy till
-he had done it.’
-
-‘And oh, you don’t know what funny stories there are about,’ said Lucy.
-‘They say he killed his wife, and that he is always thinking he sees her
-ghost. I wonder if it is true? They say he can never be left alone or in
-the dark; he is so frightened. I met him yesterday, and it made me jump.
-I never saw a man who killed his wife before.’
-
-‘But who says he killed his wife?’
-
-‘Oh, everybody; we heard it from Matthew the gardener, and I think he
-heard it at the “Barleymow,” and it is all over the place. Fancy Sir
-Thomas calling on such a person! for I suppose,’ said Lucy, ‘though you
-are so very superior, you men, and may beat us, and all that, it is not
-made law yet that you may kill your wives.’
-
-‘It might just as well be the law: for I am sure there are many other
-things quite as bad,’ said Lottie, while Robert, who had been appealed
-to, whispered some answer which made Lucy laugh. ‘Poor man, I wonder if
-she was a very bad woman, and if she haunts him. How disappointed he
-must have been to find he could not get rid of her even that way!’
-
-‘Lottie, my dear, here is Sir Thomas coming; don’t talk so much
-nonsense,’ said I hurriedly.
-
-I am afraid however that Sir Thomas rather liked the nonsense. He had
-not the feeling of responsibility in encouraging girls to run on, that
-most women have. He thought it was amusing, as men generally do, and
-never paused to think how bad it was for the girls. But to-day he was
-too full of his own story to care much for theirs. He came in with dusty
-boots, which was quite against his principles, and stretched his long
-spare limbs out on the beautiful rug which the Stokes had worked for me
-in a way that went to my heart. That showed how very much pre-occupied
-he was; for Sir Thomas was never inconsiderate about such matters.
-
-‘Well,’ he said, pushing his thin white hair off his forehead, and
-stretching out his legs as if he were quite worn out, ‘there is one
-piece of work well over. I have had a good many tough jobs in my life,
-but I don’t know that I ever had a worse.’
-
-‘Oh, tell us what happened. Is he mad? Has he shut himself in? Has he
-hurt you?’ cried the Stokes.
-
-Sir Thomas smiled upon this nonsense as if it had been perfectly
-reasonable, and the best sense in the world.
-
-‘Hurt me! well, not quite: he was not likely to try that. He is a little
-mite of a man, who could not hurt a fly. And besides,’ added Sir Thomas,
-correcting himself, ‘he is a gentleman. I have no reason to doubt he is
-a perfect gentleman. He conducts himself quite as--as all the rest of us
-do. No, it was the difficulty of getting in that bewildered me.’
-
-‘Was there a difficulty in getting in?’
-
-‘You shall hear. The servant looked as if he would faint when he saw
-me. “Mr. Reinhardt at home?” Oh! he could not quite say; if I would wait
-he would go and ask. So I waited in the hall,’ said Sir Thomas with a
-smile. ‘Well, yes, it was odd, of course; but such an experience now and
-then is not bad for one. It shows you, you know, of how little
-importance you are the moment you get beyond the circle of people who
-know you. I think really it is salutary, you know, if you come to
-that--and amusing,’ he added, this time with a little laugh.
-
-‘Oh, but what a shame: how shocking! how horrid! You, Sir Thomas, whom
-everybody knows!’
-
-‘That is just what makes it so instructive,’ he said. ‘I must have stood
-in the hall a quarter of an hour: allowing for the tediousness of
-waiting, I should say certainly a quarter of an hour; and then the man
-came back and asked me, what do you think? if I had come of my own
-accord, or if some one had sent me! It was ludicrous,’ said Sir Thomas
-with a half laugh; ‘but if you will think of it, it was rather
-irritating. I am afraid I lost my temper a little. I said, “I am Sir
-Thomas Denzil. I live at the Lodge, and I have come to call upon your
-master,” in a tone which made the old fool of a man shake, and then some
-one else appeared at the top of the stairs. It was Mr. Reinhardt, who
-had heard my voice.’
-
-‘What did he say for himself?’ I asked.
-
-‘It was not his fault,’ said Sir Thomas; ‘he knew nothing of it. He is a
-very well-informed man, Mrs. Mulgrave. He is quite able to enter into
-conversation on any subject. He was very glad to see me. He is a sort of
-recluse, it is easy to perceive, but quite a proper person; very
-well-informed, one whom it was a pleasure to converse with, I assure
-you. He made a thousand apologies. He said something about unfortunate
-circumstances, and a disagreeable visitor, as an excuse for his man; but
-whether the disagreeable visitor was some one who had been there or who
-was expected----’
-
-‘Oh, I know,’ cried Lucy Stoke, with excitement. ‘It was his wife’s
-ghost.’
-
-Sir Thomas stopped short aghast, and looked at me to ask if the child
-had gone mad.
-
-‘How could they think Sir Thomas was the wife’s ghost?’ cried Lottie,
-‘you little goose! and besides, most likely it is not true.’
-
-‘What is not true?’ asked Sir Thomas in dismay.
-
-‘Oh, they say he killed her,’ said Lucy, ‘and that she haunts him. They
-say his man sleeps in his room, and the housekeeper just outside. He
-cannot be left by himself for a moment: and I do not wonder he should be
-frightened if he has killed his wife.’
-
-‘Nonsense, nonsense,’ said Sir Thomas, raising his voice. ‘Nonsense!’ he
-was quite angry. He had taken up the man and felt responsible for him,
-‘My dear child, I think you are going out of your little wits,’ he
-cried. ‘Killed his wife! why, the man is a thorough gentleman. A most
-well-informed man, and knows my friend Sir Septimus Dash, who is the
-head of the British Association. Why, why, Lucy! you take away my
-breath.’
-
-‘It was not I who said it,’ cried Lucy. ‘It is all over the
-Green--everybody knows. They say she disappeared all at once, and never
-was heard of more; and then there used to be sounds like somebody crying
-and moaning; and then he got so frightened, he never would go anywhere,
-nor look any one in the face. Oh! only suppose; how strange it would be
-to have a haunted house on the Green. If I had anybody to go with me I
-should like to walk down to East Cottage at midnight.’
-
-‘Let me go with you,’ whispered Robert; but fortunately I heard him, and
-gave Lucy a look. She was a silly little girl certainly, but not so bad
-as that.
-
-‘This is really very great nonsense,’ said Sir Thomas. ‘A haunted house
-at this time of day! Mrs. Mulgrave, I hope you will use all your
-influence to put down this story if it exists. I give you my word, Mr.
-Reinhardt is quite an addition to our society, and knows Sir Septimus
-Dash. A really well-bred, well-informed man. I am quite shocked, I
-assure you. Lucy, I hope you will not spread this ridiculous story. I
-shall ask your mother what she thinks. Poor man! no wonder he looked
-uncomfortable, if there is already such a rumour abroad.’
-
-‘Then he did look uncomfortable?’ said Lottie.
-
-‘No, I can’t say he did. No; I don’t mean uncomfortable,’ said Sir
-Thomas, seeing he had committed himself. ‘I mean---- it is absurd
-altogether. A charming man; one whom you will all like immensely. I
-think Lady Denzil must have returned from her drive. We are to see you
-all to-morrow, I believe, in the afternoon? Now, Lucy, no more gossip;
-leave that to the old women, my dear.’
-
-‘Sir Thomas does not know what to make of it,’ said Lottie, as we
-watched him cross the Green. ‘He has gone to my lady to have his mind
-made up whether he ought to pay any attention to it or not.’
-
-‘And my lady will say not,’ said I; ‘fortunately we are all sure of
-that. Lady Denzil will not let anybody be condemned without a hearing.
-And, Lucy, I think Sir Thomas gave you very good advice; when you are
-old it will be time enough to amuse yourself with spreading stories,
-especially such dreadful stories as this.’
-
-Lucy took offence at what I said, and went away pouting--comforted by
-Robert Lloyd, and very indignant with me. Lottie stayed for a moment
-behind her to tell me that it was really quite true, and that the report
-had gone all over the Green, and everybody was talking of it. No one
-knew quite where it had come from, but it was already known to all the
-world at Dinglewood, and a very unpleasant report it was.
-
-However time went on, and no more was heard of this. In a little place
-like Dinglewood, as soon as everybody has heard a story, a pause ensues.
-We cannot go on indefinitely propagating it, and renewing our own faith
-in it. When we all know it, and nothing new can be said on the subject,
-we are stopped short; and unless there are new facts to comment upon, or
-some new light thrown upon the affair, it is almost sure to die away, as
-a matter of course. This was the case in respect to the report about Mr.
-Reinhardt. We got no more information, and we could not go on talking
-about the old story for ever. We exhausted it, and grew tired of it, and
-let it drop; and thus, by degrees, we got used to him, and became
-acquainted with him, more or less.
-
-The other gentlemen called, one by one, after Sir Thomas. Mr. Reinhardt
-was asked, timidly, to one or two dinner-parties, and declined, which we
-thought at first showed, on the whole, good taste on his part. But he
-became quite friendly when we met him on the road, and would stop to
-talk, and showed no moroseness, nor fear of any one. He had what was
-generally pronounced to be a refined face--the features high and clear,
-with a kind of ivory paleness, and keen eyes, which were very sharp to
-note everything. He was, as Sir Thomas said, very well-informed. There
-seemed to be nothing that you could talk about that he did not know; and
-in science, the gentlemen said he was a perfect mine of knowledge. I am
-not sure however that they were very good judges, for I don’t think
-either Sir Thomas or the Admiral knew much about science. One thing
-however which made some of us still doubtful about him was the fact that
-he never talked of _people_. When a name was mentioned in conversation
-he never said, ‘Oh, I know him very well--I knew his father--a cousin of
-his was a great friend of mine,’ as most people do. All the expression
-went out of his face as soon as we came to this kind of talk; and it may
-be supposed how very much at a loss most people were in consequence for
-subjects to talk about. But this, though it was strange, was not any
-sort of proof that he had done anything wicked. It might be--and the
-most of us thought it was--an evidence that he had not lived in society.
-‘He knows my friend, Sir Septimus Dash,’ Sir Thomas always said in his
-favour; but then, of course, Sir Septimus was a public personage, and
-Mr. Reinhardt might have made his acquaintance at some public place. But
-still, a man may be of no family, and out of society, and yet not have
-murdered his wife. After a while we began to think, indeed, that whether
-he had killed her or not, it was just as well there was no wife in the
-question--‘Just as well,’ Mrs. Perronet said, who was great in matters
-of society. ‘A man whom nobody knows does not matter; but what should we
-have done with a woman?’
-
-‘He must have killed her on purpose to save us the trouble,’ said
-Lottie. But the General’s wife was quite in earnest, and did not see the
-joke.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-It is a good thing, on the whole, to have a house with a mystery about
-it in one’s immediate neighbourhood. Gradually we ceased to believe that
-Mr. Reinhardt had anything criminal about him. But it was quite certain
-that there was a mystery--that we knew nothing about him, neither where
-he came from, nor what his family was. For one thing, he had certainly
-no occupation: therefore, of course, he must be sufficiently well off to
-do without that: and he had no relations--no one who ever came to see
-him, nor of whom he talked; and though the men who called upon him had
-been admitted, they were never asked to go back, nor had one of us
-ladies ever crossed his threshold. It would seem indeed that he had made
-a rule against admitting ladies, for when Mrs. Damerel herself called to
-speak of the soup-kitchen, old White came and spoke to her at the gate,
-and trembled very much, and begged her a hundred pardons, but
-nevertheless would not let her in--a thing which made her very
-indignant. Thus the house became to us all a mysterious house, and, on
-the whole, I think we rather liked it. The mystery did no harm, and it
-certainly amused us, and kept our interest alive.
-
-Thus the summer passed, and Dinglefield had got used to the Scientific
-Gentleman. That was the name he generally went by. When strangers came
-to the Green, and had it all described to them--Sir Thomas here, the
-Admiral there, the General at the other side, and so on, we always gave
-a little special description of Mr. Reinhardt.
-
-‘He is a Fellow of the Royal Society,’ one would say, not knowing much
-what that meant. ‘He belongs to the British Association,’ said another.
-‘He is a great scientific light.’ We began even to feel a little proud
-of him. Even I myself, on the nights when I did not sleep well, used to
-feel quite pleased, when I looked out, to see the Scientific Gentleman’s
-light still burning. He was sitting up there, no doubt, pondering things
-that were much beyond our comprehension--and it made us proud to think
-that, on the Green, there was some one who was going over the abstrusest
-questions in the dead of the night.
-
-It was about six months after his arrival when, one evening, for some
-special reason, I forget what, I went to Mrs. Stoke’s to tea. She lives
-a little way down the lane, on the other side of the ‘Barleymow.’ It is
-not often that she asks any one even to tea. As a rule, people generally
-ask her and her daughters, for we are all very well aware of her
-circumstances; but on this particular night, I was there for some reason
-or other. It was October, and the nights had begun to be cold; but there
-was a full moon, and at ten o’clock it was as light as day. This was why
-I would not let them send any one home with me. I must say I have never
-understood how middle-aged women like myself can have a pretty young
-maid-servant sent for them, knowing very well that the girl must walk
-one way alone, and that, if there is any danger at all, a young woman of
-twenty is more in the way of it, than one who might be her mother. I
-remember going to the door to look out, and protesting that I was not
-the least nervous--nor was I. I knew all the roads as well as I knew my
-own garden, and everybody round about knew me. The way was not at all
-lonely. To be sure, there were not many people walking about; but then
-there were houses all along--and lastly, it was light as day. The moon
-was shining in that lavish sort of way which she only has when she is at
-the full. The houses amid their trees stood whitened over, held fast by
-the light as the wedding-guest was held by the eye of the Ancient
-Mariner. The shadows were as black as the light was white. There was a
-certain solemnity about it, so full of light, and yet so colourless.
-After I had left the house, and had come out--I and my shadow--into the
-full whiteness, it made an impression upon me which I could scarcely
-resist. My first idea when I glanced back was that my own shadow was
-some one stealing after me. That gave me a shake for a moment, though I
-laughed at myself. The lights of the ‘Barleymow’ neutralized this solemn
-feeling, and I went on, thinking to myself what a good story it would be
-for my neighbours--my own shadow! I did not cross the Green, as I
-generally did, partly from a vague feeling that, though it was so light
-and so safe, there was a certain company in being close to the
-houses--not that I was the least afraid, or that indeed there was any
-occasion to fear, but just for company’s sake. By this time, I think it
-must have been very nearly eleven o’clock, which is a late hour for
-Dinglefield. All the houses seemed shut up for the night. Looking up the
-Green, the effect of the sleeping place, with the moon shining on the
-pale gables and ends of houses, and all the trees in black, and the
-white stretch of space in the centre, looking as if it had been clean
-swept by the moonlight of every obstacle, had the strangest effect. I
-was not in the least afraid. What should I be afraid of, so close to my
-own door? But still I felt a little shiver run over me--a something
-involuntary, which I could not help, like that little thrill of the
-nerves, which makes people say that some one is walking over your grave.
-
-And all at once in the great stillness and quiet I heard a sound quite
-near. It was very soft at first, not much louder than a sigh. I hurried
-on for a few steps frightened, I could not tell why, and then, disgusted
-with myself, I stopped to listen. Yes, now it came again, louder this
-time; and then I turned round to look where it came from. It was the
-sound of some one moaning either in sorrow or in pain; a soft,
-interrupted moan, now and then stopping short with a kind of sob. My
-heart began to beat, but I said to myself, it is some one in trouble,
-and I can’t run away. The sound came from the side of East Cottage,
-just where the little railing in front ended; and, after a long look, I
-began to see that there was some one there. What I made out was the
-outline of a figure seated on the ground with knees drawn up, and
-looking so thin that they almost came to a point. It was straight up
-against the railing, and so overshadowed by the lilac-bushes that the
-outline of the knees, black, but whitened over as it were with a
-sprinkling of snow or silver, was all that could be made out. It was
-like something dimly seen in a picture, not like flesh and blood. It
-gave me the strangest sensation to see this something, this shrouded
-semblance of a human figure, at Mr. Reinhardt’s door. All the stories
-that had been told of him came back to my mind. His wife! I would have
-kept the recollection out of my mind if I could, but it came without any
-will of mine. I turned and went on as fast as ever I could. I should
-have run like a frightened child had I followed my own instinctive
-feeling. My heart beat, my feet rang upon the gravel; and then I stopped
-short, hating myself. How silly and weak I was! It might be some poor
-creature, some tramp or wandering wretch, who had sunk down there in
-sickness or weariness, while I in my cowardice passed by on the other
-side frightened lest it should be a ghost. I do not know to this day how
-it was that I forced myself to turn and go back, but I did. Oh! what a
-moaning, wailing sound it was; not loud, but the very cry of desolation.
-I felt as I went, though my heart beat so, that such a moaning could
-only come from a living creature, one who had a body full of weariness
-and pain, as well as a suffering soul.
-
-I turned back and went up to the thing with those sharp-pointed knees;
-then I saw the hands clasped round the knees, and the hopeless head
-bowed down upon them, all black and silvered over like something cut out
-of ebony. I even saw, or thought I saw, amid the flickering of the
-heavens above and the shadows below, a faint rocking in the miserable
-figure;--that mechanical, unconscious rocking which is one of the
-primitive ways of showing pain. I went up, all trembling as I was, and
-asked ‘What is the matter?’ with a voice as tremulous. There was no
-answer; only the moaning went on, and the movement became more
-perceptible. Fortunately, my terror died away when I saw this. The human
-sound and action, that were like what everybody does, brought me back at
-once out of all supernatural dread. It was a woman, and she was unhappy.
-I dismissed the other thought--or rather, it left me unawares.
-
-This gave me a great deal of courage. I repeated my question; and then,
-as there was no answer, went up and touched her softly. The figure rose
-with a spring in a moment, before I could think what she was going to
-do. She put out one of her hands, and pushed me off.
-
-‘Ah! have I brought you out at last?’ she cried wildly; and then stopped
-short and stared at me; while I stared, too, feeling, whoever it might
-be she had expected, that I was not the person. Her movement was so
-sudden, that I shrank back in terror, fearing once more I could not tell
-what. She was a very tall, slight woman, with a cloak tightly wrapped
-about her. In the confusion of the moment I could remark nothing more.
-
-‘Are you ill?’ I said, faltering. ‘My good woman, I--I don’t want to
-harm you; I heard you moaning, and I--thought you were ill----’
-
-She seized me by the arm, making my very teeth chatter. The grasp was
-bony and hard like the hand of a skeleton.
-
-‘Are you from that house? Are you from him?’ she cried, pointing behind
-her with her other hand. ‘Bid him come out to me himself; bid him come
-out and go down on his knees before I’ll give in to enter his door. Oh!
-I’ve not come here for nought--I’ve not come here for nought! I’ve come
-with all my wrongs that he’s done me. Tell him to come out himself; it
-is his part.’
-
-Her voice grew hoarse with the passion that was in it, and yet it was a
-voice that had been sweet.
-
-I put up my hand, pleading with her, trying to get a hearing, but she
-held me fast by the arm.
-
-‘I have not come from that house,’ I said. ‘You frighten me. I--I live
-close by. I was passing and heard you moan. Is there anything the
-matter? Can I be--of any use?’
-
-I said this very doubtfully, for I was afraid of the strange figure, and
-the passionate speech.
-
-Then she let go her hold all at once. She looked at me and then all
-round. There was not another creature visible except, behind me, I
-suppose, the open door and lights of the ‘Barleymow.’ She might have
-done almost what she would to me had she been disposed;--at least, at
-the moment that was how I felt.
-
-‘You live close by?’ she said, putting her hand upon her heart, which
-was panting and heaving with her passion.
-
-‘Yes. Are you--staying in the neighbourhood? Have you--lost your way?’
-
-I said this in my bewilderment, not knowing what the words were which
-came from my lips. Then the poor creature leaned back upon the wall and
-gasped and sobbed. I could not make out at first whether it was emotion
-or want of breath.
-
-‘Yes, I’ve lost my way,’ she said; ‘not here, but in life; I’ve lost my
-way in life, and I’ll never find it again. Oh! I’m ill--I’m very ill. If
-you are a good Christian, as you seem, take me in somewhere and let me
-lie down till the spasm’s past; I feel it coming on now.’
-
-‘What is it?’ I asked.
-
-She put her hand upon her heart and panted and gasped for breath. Poor
-wretch! At that moment I heard behind me the locking of the door at the
-‘Barleymow.’ I know I ought to have called out to them to wait, but I
-had not my wits about me as one ought to have.
-
-‘Have you no home?’ I asked; ‘nowhere to go to? You must live
-somewhere. I will go with you and take you home.’
-
-‘Home!’ she cried. ‘It is here or in the churchyard, nowhere else--here
-or in the churchyard. Take me to one or the other, good woman, for
-Christ’s sake: I don’t care which--to my husband’s house or to the
-churchyard--for Christ’s sake.’
-
-For Christ’s sake! You may blame me, but what could I do? Could any of
-you refuse if you were asked in that name? You may say any one can use
-such words--any vagabond, any wretch--and, of course, it is true; but
-could you resist the plea--you who are neither a wretch nor a
-vagabond?--I know you could not, any more than me.
-
-‘Lean upon me,’ I said; ‘take my arm; try if you can walk. Oh! I don’t
-know who you are or what you are, but when you ask for Christ’s sake,
-you know, He sees into your heart. If you have any place that I can take
-you to, tell me; you must know it is difficult to take a stranger into
-one’s house like this. Tell me if you have not some room--some place
-where you can be taken care of; I will give you what you want all the
-same.’
-
-We were going on all this time, walking slowly towards my house; she was
-gasping, holding one hand to her heart and with the other leaning
-heavily on me. When I made this appeal to her she stopped and turned
-half round, waving her hand towards the house we were leaving behind us.
-
-‘If that is Mr. Reinhardt’s house,’ she said, ‘take me there if you
-will. I am--his wife. He’ll leave me to die--on the doorstep--most
-likely; and be glad. I haven’t strength--to--say any more.’
-
-‘His wife!’ I cried in my dismay.
-
-‘Lord have mercy upon us!’ cried the panting creature. ‘Ay! that’s the
-truth.’
-
-What could I do? She was scarcely able to totter along, panting and
-breathless. It was her heart. Poor soul! how could any one tell what she
-might have had to suffer? I took her, though with trembling--what could
-I do else?--to my own house.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-I cannot attempt to describe what my feelings were when I went into my
-own house with that strange woman. Though it was a very short way, we
-took a long time to get there. She had disease of the heart evidently,
-and one of the paroxysms had come on.
-
-‘I shall be better by and by,’ she said to me, gasping as she leaned on
-my arm.
-
-My mind was in such a confusion that I did not know what I was doing.
-She might be only a tramp, a thief, a vagabond. As for what she had said
-of being Mr. Reinhardt’s wife--my head swam, I could neither understand
-nor explain to myself how this had come about. But, whether she was good
-or bad, I could not help myself; I was committed to it. Every house on
-the Green was closed and silent. The shutters were all put up at the
-‘Barleymow,’ and silence reigned. No, thank Heaven! in the Admiral’s
-window there were still lights, so that if anything happened I could
-call him to my aid. He was my nearest neighbour, and the sight of his
-lighted window gave me confidence.
-
-My maid gave a little shriek when she opened the door, and this too
-roused me. I said, ‘Mary, this--lady is ill; she will lie down on the
-sofa in the drawing-room while we get ready the west room. You will not
-mind the trouble, I am sure, when you see how ill she is.’
-
-This I said to smooth matters, for it is not to be supposed that Mary,
-who was already yawning at my late return, should be quite pleased at
-being sent off to make up a bed and prepare a room unexpectedly as it
-were in the middle of the night. And I was glad also to send her away,
-for I saw her give a wondering look at the poor creature’s clothes,
-which were dusty and soiled. She had been sitting on the dusty earth by
-Mr. Reinhardt’s cottage, and it was not wonderful if her clothes showed
-marks of it. I made her lie down on the sofa, and got her some wine.
-Poor forlorn creature! The rest seemed to be life however to her. She
-sank back upon the soft cushions, and her heavy breathing softened
-almost immediately. I left her there (though, I confess, not without a
-slight sensation of fear), and went to the west room to help Mary. It
-was a room we seldom used, at the end of a long passage, and therefore
-the one best fitted to put a stranger, about whom I knew nothing, in.
-Mary did not say anything, but I could feel that she disapproved of me
-in every pat she gave to the fresh sheets and pillows. And I was
-conciliatory, as one so often is to one’s servants. I drew a little
-picture of how I had found the ‘poor lady’ panting for breath and unable
-to walk--of how weak and how thin she was--and what a terrible thing to
-have heart-disease, which came on with any exertion--and how anxious her
-friends must be.
-
-All this Mary listened to in grim silence, patting now and then the
-bedclothes with her hand, as if making a protest against all I said. At
-length, when I had exhausted my eloquence, and began to grow a little
-angry, Mary cleared her throat and replied,
-
-‘Please, ma’am, I know it ain’t my place to speak----’
-
-‘Oh! you can say what you please, Mary, so long as it is not unkind to
-your neighbours,’ said I.
-
-‘I never set eyes on the--lady--before, so she can’t be a neighbour of
-mine,’ said Mary; ‘but she’s been seen about the Green days and days.
-I’ve seen her myself a-haunting East Cottage, where that poor gentleman
-lives.’
-
-‘You said this moment that you never set eyes on her before.’
-
-‘Not to know her, ma’am,’ said Mary; ‘it’s different. I saw her to-day
-walking up and down like a ghost, and I wouldn’t have given sixpence
-for all she had on her. It ain’t my place to speak, but one as you don’t
-know, and as may have a gang ready to murder us all in our beds----
-Mother was in service in London when she was young, and oh! to hear the
-tales she knows. Pretending to be ill is the commonest trick of all,
-mother says, and then they get took in, and then, when all’s still----’
-
-‘It is very kind of you, I am sure, to instruct me by your mother’s
-experiences,’ said I, feeling very angry. ‘Now you can go to bed if you
-please, and lock your door, and then you will be safe. I shall not want
-you any more to-night.’
-
-‘Oh! but please, ma’am. I don’t want to leave you by yourself--please, I
-don’t!’ cried Mary, with the ready tears coming to her eyes.
-
-However I sent her away. I was angry, and perhaps unreasonable, as
-people generally are when they are angry; though, when Mary went to bed,
-I confess it was not altogether with an easy mind that I found myself
-alone with the stranger in the silent house. It is always a comfort to
-know that there is some one within reach. I went back softly to the
-drawing-room: she was still lying on the sofa, quite motionless and
-quiet, no longer panting as she had done. When I looked at her closely I
-saw that she had dropped asleep. The light of the lamp was full on her
-face, and yet she had dropped asleep, being, as I suppose, completely
-worn out. I saw her face then for the first time, and it startled me. It
-was not a face which you could describe by any of the lighter words of
-admiration as pretty or handsome. It was simply the most beautiful face
-I ever saw in my life. It was pale and worn, and looked almost like
-death lying back in that attitude of utter weakness on the velvet
-cushions; and, though the eyes were closed, and the effect of them lost,
-it was impossible to believe that the loveliest eyes in the world could
-have made her more beautiful. She had dark hair, wavy and slightly
-curling upon the forehead; her eyelashes were very long and dark, and
-curled upwards; her features, I think, must have been perfect; and the
-look of pain had gone from her face; she was as serene as if she had
-been dead.
-
-I was very much startled by this: so much so that for the moment I sank
-down upon a chair, overcome by confusion and surprise, and did not even
-shade the lamp, as I had intended to do. You may wonder that I should be
-so much surprised, but then you must remember that great beauty is not
-common anywhere, and that to pick it out of the ditch as it were, and
-find it thus in the person of one who might be a mere vagabond and
-vagrant for aught you could tell, was very strange and startling. It
-took away my breath; and then, the figure which belonged to this face
-formed so strange a contrast with it. I know, as everybody else does,
-that beauty is but skin-deep; that it is no sign of excellence, or of
-mental or moral superiority in any way; that it is accidental and
-independent of the character of its possessor as money is, or anything
-else you are born to: I know all this perfectly well; and yet I feel, as
-I suppose everybody else does, that great beauty is out of place in
-squalid surroundings. When I saw the worn and dusty dress, the cloak
-tightly drawn across her breast, the worn shoes that peeped out from
-below her skirt, I felt ashamed. It was absurd, but such was my feeling;
-I felt ashamed of my good gown and lace, and fresh ribbons. To think
-that I, and hundreds like me, should deck ourselves, and leave this
-creature in her dusty gown! My suspicions went out of my mind in a
-moment. Instead of the uneasy doubt whether perhaps she might have
-accomplices (it made me blush to think I had dreamt of such a thing)
-waiting outside, I began to feel indignant with everybody that she could
-be in such a plight. Reinhardt’s wife! How did he dare, that mean,
-insignificant man, to marry such a creature, and to be cruel to her
-after he had married her! I started up and removed the lamp, shading her
-face, and I took my shawl, which was my best shawl, an Indian one, and
-really handsome, and covered her with it. I did it--I can’t tell
-why--with a feeling that I was making her a little compensation. Then I
-opened one of the windows to let in the air, for the night was sultry;
-and then I put myself into my favourite chair, and leant back my head,
-and made myself as comfortable as I could to watch her till she woke. I
-should have thought this a great hardship a little while before, but I
-did not think it a hardship now. I had become her partisan, her
-protector, her servant, in a moment, and all for no reason except the
-form of her features, the look of that sleeping face. I acknowledge that
-it was absurd, but still I know you would have done the same had you
-been in my place. I suspected her no more, had no doubts in my mind, and
-was not the least annoyed that Mary had gone to bed. It seemed to me as
-if her beauty established an immediate relationship between us, somehow,
-and made it natural that I, or any one else who might happen to be in
-the way, should give up our own convenience for her. It was her beauty
-that did it, nothing else, not her great want and solitude, not even the
-name by which she had adjured me;--her beauty, nothing more. I do not
-defend myself for having fallen prostrate before this primitive power; I
-could not help it, but I don’t attempt to excuse myself.
-
-I must have dozed in my chair, for I woke suddenly, dreaming that some
-one was standing over me and staring at me--a kind of nightmare. I
-started with a little cry, and for the first moment I was bewildered,
-and could not think how I had got there. Then all at once I saw her, and
-the mystery was solved. She had woke too, and lay on her side on the
-sofa, looking intently at me with a gaze which renewed my first
-impression of terror. She had not moved, she lay in the same attitude of
-exhaustion and grateful repose, with her head thrown back upon the
-cushions. There was only this difference--that whereas she had then
-been unconscious in sleep, she was now awake, and so vividly, intensely
-conscious that her look seemed an active influence. I felt that she was
-doing something to me by gazing at me so. She had woke me no doubt by
-that look. She made me restless now, so that I could not keep still. I
-rose up, and made a step or two towards her.
-
-‘Are you better? I hope you are better,’ I said.
-
-Still she did not move, but said calmly, without any attempt at
-explanation: ‘Are you watching me from kindness or because you were
-afraid I should do some harm?’
-
-She was not grateful: the sight of me woke no kindly feeling in her: and
-I was wounded in spite of myself.
-
-‘Neither,’ said I; ‘you fell asleep, and I preferred staying here to
-waking you; but it is almost morning and the oil is nearly burnt out in
-the lamp. There is a room ready for you; will you come with me now?’
-
-‘I am very comfortable,’ she said; ‘I have not been so comfortable for a
-very long time. I have not been well off. I have had to lie on hard beds
-and eat poor fare, whilst all the time those who had a right to take
-care of me----’
-
-‘Don’t think of that now,’ I said. ‘You will feel better if you are
-undressed. Come now and go to bed.’
-
-She kept her position, without taking any notice of what I said.
-
-‘I have a long story to tell you--a long story,’ she went on. ‘When you
-hear it you will change your mind about some things. Oh, how pleasant it
-is to be in a nice handsome _lady’s_ room again! How pleasant a carpet
-is, and pictures on the walls! I have not been used to them for a long
-time. I suppose he has every kind of thing, everything that is pleasant;
-and, if he could, he would have liked to see me die at his door. That is
-what he wants. It would be a pleasure to him to look out some morning
-and see me lying like a piece of rubbish under the wall. He would have
-me thrown upon the dust-heap, I believe, or taken off by the scavengers
-as rubbish. Yes, that is what he would like, if he could.’
-
-‘Oh, don’t think so,’ I cried. ‘He cannot be so cruel. He has not a
-cruel face.’
-
-Upon this she sat up, with the passion rising in her eyes.
-
-‘How can you tell?--you were never married to him!’ she said. ‘He never
-cast you off, never abandoned you, never----’ Her excitement grew so
-great that she now rose up on her feet, and clenched her hand and shook
-it as if at some one in the distance. ‘Oh, no!’ she cried; ‘no one knows
-him but me!’
-
-‘Oh, if you would go to bed!’ I said. ‘Indeed I must insist: you will
-tell me your story in the morning. Come, you must not talk any more
-to-night.’
-
-I did not get her disposed of so easily as this, but after a while she
-did allow herself to be persuaded. My mind had changed about her again,
-but I was too tired now to be frightened. I put her into the west room.
-And oh! how glad I was to lie down in my bed, though I had a stranger in
-the house whom I knew nothing of, and though it only wanted about an
-hour of day!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-
-When I got up, about two hours after, I was in a very uncomfortable
-state of mind, not knowing in the least what I ought to do. Daylight is
-a great matter to be sure, and consoles one in one’s perplexity; but yet
-daylight means the visits of one’s friends, and inquiries into all that
-one has done and means to do. I could not have such an inmate in my
-house without people knowing it. I was thrusting myself as it were into
-a family quarrel which I knew nothing of--I, one of the most peaceable
-people--!
-
-When I went down-stairs the drawing-room was still as I had left it, and
-the sofa and its cushions were all marked with dust where my poor
-visitor had lain down. I believe, though Mary is a good girl on the
-whole, that there was a little spite in all this to show me my own
-enormity. A decanter of wine was left on the table too, with the glass
-which had been used last night. It gave the most miserable, squalid look
-to the room, or at least I thought so. Then Mary appeared with her broom
-and dustpan, severely disapproving, and I was swept away, like the dust,
-and took refuge in the garden, which was hazy and dewy, and rather cold
-on this October morning. The trees were all changing colour, the
-mignonette stalks were long and straggling, there was nothing in the
-beds but asters and dahlias and some other autumn flowers. And the
-monthly rose on the porch looked pale, as if it felt the coming frost. I
-went to the gate and looked out upon the Green with a pang of
-discomfort. What would everybody think? There were not many people about
-except the tradespeople going for orders and the servants at their work.
-East Cottage looked more human than usual in the hazy autumn morning
-sun. The windows were all open, and White was sweeping the fallen leaves
-carefully away from the door. I even saw Mr. Reinhardt in his
-dressing-gown come out to speak to him. My heart beat wildly and I drew
-back at the sight. As if Mr. Reinhardt was anything to me! But I was
-restless and uncomfortable and could not compose myself. When I went in
-I could not sit down and breakfast by myself as I usually did. I wanted
-to see how my lodger was, and yet I did not want to disturb her. At last
-I went to the door of the west room and listened. When I heard signs of
-movement inside I knocked and went in. She was still in bed; she was
-lying half-smothered up in the fine linen and downy pillows. On the bed
-there was an eiderdown coverlet covered with crimson silk, and she had
-stretched out her arm over it and was grasping it with her hand. She
-greeted me with a smile which lighted up her beautiful face like
-sunshine.
-
-‘Oh, yes, I am better--I am quite well,’ she said. ‘I am so happy to be
-here.’
-
-She did not put out her hand, or offer any thanks or salutations, and it
-seemed to me that this was good taste. I was pleased with her for not
-being too grateful or affectionate. I believe if she had been very
-grateful and affectionate I should have thought that was best. For again
-the charm came over me--a charm doubled by her smile. How beautiful she
-was! The warm nest she was lying in, and the pleasure and comfort she
-evidently felt in being there, had brought a little colour to her
-cheeks--just a very little--but that became her beauty best. She was
-younger than I thought. I had supposed her to be over thirty last night,
-now she looked five or six-and-twenty, in the very height and fulness of
-her bloom.
-
-‘Shall I send you some breakfast?’ I said.
-
-‘Oh, please! I suppose you don’t know how nice it is to lie in a soft
-bed like this, to feel the nice linen and the silk, and to be waited
-upon? You have always been just so, and never known the difference? Ah!
-what a difference it is.’
-
-‘I have been very poor in my time,’ said I.
-
-‘Have you? I should not have thought it. But never so poor as me. Let me
-have my breakfast please--tea with cream in it. May I have some cream?
-and--anything--whatever you please; for I am hungry; but tea with
-cream.’
-
-‘Surely,’ I said; ‘it is being prepared for you now.’
-
-And then I stood looking at her, wondering. I knew nothing of her, not
-even her name, and yet I stood in the most familiar relation to her,
-like a mother to a child. Her smile quite warmed and brightened me, as
-she lay there in such childish enjoyment. How strange it was. And it
-seemed to me that everything had gone out of her mind except the
-delightful novelty of her surroundings. She forgot that she was a
-stranger in a strange house, and all the suspicious, unpleasant
-circumstances. When Mary came in with the tray she positively laughed
-with pleasure, and jumped up in bed, raising herself as lightly as a
-child.
-
-‘You must have a shawl to put round your shoulders,’ I said.
-
-‘Oh, let me have the beautiful one you put over me last night. What a
-beauty it was! Let me have that,’ she cried.
-
-Mary gave me a warning look. But I was indignant with Mary. I went and
-fetched it almost with tears in my eyes. Poor soul! poor child! like a
-baby admiring it because it was pretty. I put it round her, though it
-was my best; and with my cashmere about her shoulders, and her beautiful
-face all lighted up with pleasure, she was like a picture. I am sure the
-Sleeping Beauty could not have been more lovely when she started from
-her hundred years’ sleep.
-
-I went back to the dining-room and took my own breakfast quite
-exhilarated. My perplexities floated away. I too felt like a child with
-a new toy. If I had but had a daughter like that, I said to myself--what
-a sweet companion, what a delight in one’s life! But then daughters will
-marry; and to think of such a one, bound to a cruel husband, who
-quarrelled with her, deserted her--Oh, what cruel stuff men are made of!
-What pretext could he have for conduct so monstrous? She was as sweet as
-a flower, and more beautiful than any woman I ever saw; and to leave her
-sitting in the dust at his closed door! I could scarcely keep still; my
-indignation was so great. The bloodless wretch! without ruth, or heart,
-or even common charity. One has heard such tales of men wrapped up in
-some cold intellectual pursuit; how they get to forget everything, and
-despise love and duty, and all that is worth living for, for their
-miserable science. They would rather be fellows of a learned society
-than heads of happy houses; rather make some foolish discovery to be
-written down in the papers, than live a good life and look after their
-own. I have even known cases--certainly nothing so bad as this--but
-cases in which a man for his art, or his learning, or something, has
-driven his wife into miserable solitude, or still more miserable
-society. Yes, I have known such cases: and the curious thing is, that it
-is always the weak men, whose researches can be of use to no mortal
-being, who neglect everything for science. The great men are great
-enough to be men and philosophers too. All this I said in my heart with
-a contempt for our scientific gentleman which I did not disguise to
-myself. I finished my breakfast quickly, longing to go back to my guest,
-when all at once Martha and Nelly, the Admiral’s daughters, came running
-in, as they had a way of doing. They were great favourites of mine, or,
-at least, Nelly was--but I was annoyed more than I could tell to see
-them now.
-
-‘We came in to ask if you were quite well,’ said Nelly. ‘Papa frightened
-us all with the strangest story. He insists that you came home quite
-late, leaning on Mary’s arm, and was sure you must have been ill. You
-can’t think how positive he is, and what a story he made out. He saw you
-from his window coming along the road, so he says; and now I look at
-you, Mrs. Mulgrave, you are a little pale.’
-
-‘It was not I, you can tell the Admiral,’ I said. ‘I wonder his sharp
-eyes were deceived. It was a--friend--I have staying with me.’
-
-‘A friend you have staying with you? Fancy, Nelly! and we not to know.’
-
-‘She came quite late--yesterday,’ said I. ‘She is in--very poor health.
-She has come to be--quiet. Poor thing, I had to give her my arm.’
-
-‘But I thought you were at the Stokes’ last night?’ said Martha.
-
-‘So I was; but when I came back it was such a lovely night; you should
-have been out, Nelly, you who are so fond of moonlight. I never saw the
-Green look more beautiful. I could hardly make up my mind to come in.’
-
-Dear, dear, dear! I wonder if all our fibs are really kept an account
-of? As I went on romancing I felt a little shiver run over me. But what
-could I do?
-
-Nelly gave me a look. She was wiser than her sister, who took everything
-in a matter-of-fact way. She gave me a kiss, and said, ‘We had better go
-and satisfy papa. He was quite anxious.’
-
-Nelly knew me best, and she did not believe me. But what story could I
-make up to Lady Denzil, for instance, whose eyes went through and
-through me, and saw everything I thought?
-
-Then I went back to my charge. She had finished her breakfast, but she
-would not part with the shawl. She was sitting up in bed, stroking and
-patting it with her hand.
-
-‘It is so lovely,’ she said, ‘I can’t give it up just yet. I like myself
-so much better when I have it on. Oh! I should be so much more proud of
-myself than I am if I lived like this. I should feel as if I were so
-much better. And don’t ask me, please! I can’t--I can’t get up to put
-myself in those dusty hideous clothes.’
-
-‘They are not dusty now,’ I said, and a faint little sense of difficulty
-crossed my mind. She was taking everything for granted, as if she
-belonged to me, and had come on a visit. I think if I had offered to
-give her my Indian cashmere and all the best things I had she would not
-have been surprised.
-
-She made no answer to this. She continued patting and caressing the
-shawl, laying down her beautiful cheek on her shoulder for the pleasure
-of feeling it. It was very senseless, very foolish, and yet it was such
-pretty play that I was more pleased than vexed. I sat down by her,
-watching her movements. They were so graceful always--nothing harsh, or
-rough, or unpleasant to the eye, and all so natural--like the movements
-of a child.
-
-I don’t know how long I sat and watched her--almost as pleased as she
-was. It was only when time went on, and when I knew I was liable to
-interruption, that I roused myself up. I tried to lead her into serious
-conversation. ‘You look a great deal better,’ I said, ‘than I could have
-hoped to see you last night.’
-
-‘Better than last night? Indeed, I should think so. Please, don’t speak
-of it. Last night was darkness, and this is light.’
-
-‘Yes, but---- I fear I must speak of it. I should like to know how you
-got there, and if some one perhaps ought to be written to--some one who
-may be anxious about you.’
-
-‘Nobody is anxious about me.’
-
-‘Indeed I am sure you must be mistaken,’ I said. ‘I am sure you have
-friends, and then---- I don’t want to trouble you, but you must remember
-I don’t know your name.’
-
-She threw back the shawl off her shoulders all at once, and sat up
-erect.
-
-‘My name is Mrs. Reinhardt: I told you,’ she said, ‘and I hope you don’t
-doubt my word.’
-
-It was impossible to look in her face, and say to her, ‘I don’t know
-anything about you. How can I tell whether your word is to be trusted or
-not?’ This was true, but I could not say it.
-
-I faltered, ‘You were ill last night, and we were both excited and
-confused. I wish very much you would tell me now once again. I think you
-said you would.’
-
-‘Oh, I suppose I did,’ she said, throwing the shawl away, and nestling
-down once more among the pillows. A look of irritation came over her
-face. ‘It is so tiresome,’ she said, ‘always having to explain. I felt
-so comfortable just now, as if I had got over that.’
-
-There was an aggrieved tone in her voice, and she looked as if, out of
-her temporary pleasure and comfort, she had been brought back to painful
-reality in an unkind and uncalled-for way. I felt guilty before her. Her
-face said plainly, ‘I was at ease, and all for your satisfaction, for no
-reason at all, you have driven me back again into trouble.’ I cannot
-describe how uncomfortable I felt.
-
-‘If I am to be of any use to you,’ I said apologetically, ‘you must see
-that I ought to know. It is not that I wish to disturb you.’
-
-‘Everybody says that,’ she murmured, with an angry pull at the
-bedclothes; and then, all at once, in a moment, she brightened up, and
-met my look with a smile. My relief was immense.
-
-‘I am a cross thing,’ she said; ‘don’t you think so? But it was so nice
-to be comfortable. I felt as it I should like to forget it all, and be
-happy. I felt good---- But never mind; you cannot help it. I must go
-back to all the mud, and dirt, and misery, and tell you everything.
-Don’t look distressed, for it is not your fault.’
-
-Every word she said seemed to convince me more and more that it was my
-fault. I could scarcely keep from begging her pardon. How cruel I had
-been! And yet, and yet---- My head swam, what with the dim consciousness
-in my mind of the true state of affairs, and the sense of her view of
-the question, which had impressed itself so strongly upon me since I
-came into the room. Which was the right view I could not tell for the
-moment, and bewilderment filled my mind. I could only stare at her, and
-wait for what she pleased to say.
-
-
-
-
-PART II
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI
-
-
-After my visitor had got over her little fit of passion I took up my
-shawl--my good shawl, which she had flung from her--and put it away; and
-then I sat down by the bedside to hear her story. She had begun to
-think; her face had changed again. Her bewildered sort of feeling (which
-I could not understand, but yet which seemed so natural) that she had
-got over all that was disagreeable, passed away, and her life came back
-to her, as it were. She remembered herself, and her past, which I did
-not know. She did not speak for some time, while I sat there waiting.
-She kept twitching at the clothes, and moving about restlessly from side
-to side. The look of content and comfort which had filled up the thin
-outline of her beautiful face, and given it for the moment the roundness
-of youth, disappeared. At last she looked up at me almost angrily as I
-sat waiting.
-
-‘Oh, you are so calm,’ she said. ‘You take it all so quietly. You don’t
-know what it is to have your heart broken, and your character destroyed,
-and yourself driven mad. To see you so calm makes me wild. If I am to
-tell you my story I must get up; I must be my own self again; I must put
-on my filthy clothes.’
-
-‘They are not filthy now. There are some clean things, if you like to
-use them,’ I said softly; but I was very glad she should get up. I left
-her to do so with an easier mind, and had the fire made up in the
-dining-room that she might not be in the way of visitors. It was a long
-time before she came, and when she at last made her appearance I found
-she had again wrapped herself in my Indian shawl. To tell the truth, I
-did not like it. I gave a slight start when I saw her, but I could not
-take it from her shoulders. She had put on her old black gown, which had
-been carefully brushed and the clean cuffs and collar I had put out for
-her, and had dressed her hair in a fashionable way. She was dressed as
-poorly as a woman could be, and yet it appeared she had all the pads and
-cushions, which young women were then so foolish as to wear, for her
-hair. She was tall, and very slight, as I had remarked last night, but
-my shawl about her shoulders took away the angularity from her figure,
-and made it dignified and noble. To find fault with such a splendid
-creature for borrowing a shawl! I could as soon have remonstrated with
-the Queen herself.
-
-‘This is not the pretty room you brought me to last night,’ she said.
-
-‘No; this is the dining-room. I thought it would be quieter and
-pleasanter for you, in case any one should call.’
-
-‘Ah! yes, that was very considerate for my feelings,’ she said, ‘but I
-am used to it, I am always thrust into a corner now. It did not use to
-be so before that man came and ruined me. Whereabouts is it that he
-lives?’
-
-‘You can see the house from the window,’ said I.
-
-Then she went to the window and looked out. She shook her clenched fist
-at the cottage; her face grew dark like a sky covered by a
-thunder-cloud. She came back and seated herself in front of me, wrapping
-herself close in my shawl.
-
-‘When I married him I was as beautiful as the day. That was what they
-all said,’ she began. ‘I was nineteen, and the artists used to go on
-their knees to me to sit to them. I might have married anybody. I don’t
-know why it was that I took him, I must have been mad; twenty years
-older than me at the least, and nothing to recommend him. Of course he
-was rich. Ah! and I was so young, and thought money could buy
-everything, and that it would last for ever. We had a house in town and
-a house in the country, and he gave me a lovely phaeton for the park,
-and we had a carriage and pair. It was very nice at first. He was always
-a curious man, never satisfied, but we did very well at first. He was
-not a man to make a woman happy, but still I got on well enough till he
-sent me away.’
-
-‘He sent you away!’
-
-‘Yes. Oh! that was nothing; that got to be quite common. When he thought
-I was enjoying myself, all at once he would say, “Pack up your things;
-we shall go to the country to-morrow;” always when I was enjoying
-myself.’
-
-‘But if he went with you, that was not sending you away.’
-
-‘Then it was taking me away--which is much the same--from all I cared
-for; and he did not always go with me. The last two times I was sent by
-myself as if I had been a prisoner. And then, at last, after years and
-years of oppression, he turned me out of the house,’ she said--‘turned
-me out! He dared to do it. Oh! only think how I hated him. He said every
-insult to me a man could say, and he turned me out of his house, and
-bade me never come back. One day I was there the mistress of all, with
-everything heart could desire, and the next day I was turned out,
-without a penny, without a home, still so pretty as I was, and at my
-age!’
-
-‘Oh! that was terrible,’ I cried, moved more by her rising passion than
-by her words--‘that was dreadful. How could he do it? But you went to
-your friends--?’
-
-‘I had no friends. My people were all dead, and I did not know much
-about them when they were living. He separated me from everybody, and he
-told lies of me--lies right and left. He had made up his mind to destroy
-me,’ she cried, bursting into sobs. ‘Oh! what a devil he is! Everything
-I could desire one day, and the next turned out!’
-
-Looking at her where she sat, something came into my throat which choked
-me and kept me from speaking: and yet I felt that I must make an effort.
-
-‘Without any--cause?’ I faltered with a mixture of confusion and pain.
-
-‘Cause?’
-
-‘I mean, did not he allege something--say something? He must have given
-some--excuse--for himself.’
-
-She looked at me very composedly, not angry, as I had feared.
-
-‘Cause? excuse?’ she repeated. ‘Of course he said it was my fault.’
-
-She kept her eyes on me when she said this; no guilty colour was on her
-face, no flush even of shame at the thought of having been slandered.
-She was a great deal calmer than I was; indeed I was not calm at all,
-but disturbed beyond the power of expression, not knowing what to think.
-
-‘He is very clever,’ she went on. ‘I am clever myself, in a kind of a
-way, but not a match for him. Men have education, you see. They are
-trained what to do; but I was so handsome that nobody thought I required
-any training. If I had been as clever as he is, ah! he would not have
-found it so easy. He drove me into a trap, and then he shut me down
-fast. That is four years ago. Fancy, four years without anything,
-wandering about, none of the comforts I was used to! I wonder how I gave
-in at the time: it was because he had broken my spirit. But I am
-different now; I have made up my mind, until he behaves to me as he
-ought, I will give him no peace, no grace!’
-
-‘But you must not be revengeful,’ I said, knowing less and less what to
-say. ‘And if you were not happy together before, I am afraid you would
-not be so now.’
-
-She did not make any answer; a vague sort of smile flitted over her
-face, then she gave a little shiver as of cold, and wrapped the shawl
-closer. ‘A shawl suits me,’ she said, ‘especially since I am so thin. Do
-you think a woman loses as much as they say by being thin? It is my
-heart-disease. When it comes on it is very bad, though afterwards I feel
-just as well as usual. But it must tell on one’s looks. Could you tell
-that I was thin by my face?’
-
-‘No,’ I said, and I did not add, though it was on my lips, ‘O woman, one
-could not tell by your face that you were not an angel or a queen. And
-what are you? What are you?’ Alas! she was not an angel, I feared.
-
-A little while longer she sat musing in silence. How little she had told
-me after all. How much more she must know in that world within herself
-to which she had now retired. At length she turned to me, her face
-lighted up with the most radiant smile. ‘Shall I be a great trouble to
-you?’ she asked. ‘Am I taking up anybody’s room?’
-
-She spoke as a favourite friend might speak who had arrived suddenly,
-and did not quite know what your arrangements were, though she was
-confident nothing could make her coming a burden to you. She took away
-my breath.
-
-‘N--no,’ I said; and then I took courage and added: ‘But your friends
-will be expecting you--the people where you live: and you are better
-now----’
-
-I could not, had my life depended on it, have said more.
-
-‘Oh, they will not mind much,’ she said. ‘I don’t live anywhere in
-particular. When one thinks that one’s own husband, the man who is bound
-to support one, has a home, and is close at hand, how do you think one
-can stay in a miserable lodging! But he does not care: he will sit there
-doing his horrible problems, and what is it to him if I were to die at
-his door! He would be glad. Yes, he would be glad. He would have me
-carted away as rubbish. He cares for nothing but his books and his
-experiments. I have sat at his door a whole night begging him to take me
-in, begging out of the cold and the snow, and his light has burnt
-steady, and he has gone on with his work, and then he has gone to bed
-and taken no notice. Oh, my God! I should have let him in had he been a
-cat or a dog.’
-
-‘Oh, surely, surely you must be mistaken,’ I cried.
-
-‘I am not mistaken. I heard the window open; he looked down at me, and
-then he went away. I know he knew me: and so he did last night. He knew
-I was there; and he had a fire lighted in the room where he works. So he
-knew it was cold, too; and I his wife, his lawful wedded wife, sitting
-out in the chill. Some time or other he thinks it will be too much for
-me, and I shall die, and he will be free.’
-
-‘It is too dreadful to think of,’ said I. ‘I don’t think he could have
-known that you were there.’
-
-She smiled without making any further reply. She held out her thin hands
-to the fire with a little nervous shiver. They would have been beautiful
-hands had they not been so thin, almost transparent. She wore but one
-ring, her wedding-ring; and that was so wide that it was secured to her
-finger with a silk thread. I suppose she perceived that I looked at it.
-She held it up to me with a smile.
-
-‘See,’ she said, ‘how worn it is. But I have never put it off my finger;
-never gone by another name, or done anything to forfeit my rights.
-Whatever he may say against me, he cannot say that.’
-
-At this moment she espied a chair in a corner which looked more
-comfortable than the one she was seated in, and rose and wheeled it to
-the fire. She said no ‘By’r leave’ to me, but did it as if she had been
-at home; there was something so natural and simple in this that I did
-not know how to object to it, but yet--I have had many a troublesome
-responsibility thrown upon me by strangers, but I was never so
-embarrassed or perplexed in my life. She drew the easy chair to the
-fire, she found a footstool and put her feet on it, basking in the
-warmth. She had my velvet slippers on her feet, my Indian shawl round
-her shoulders, and here she was settled and comfortable--for how long? I
-dared not even guess. A sick sort of consciousness came upon me that she
-had established herself and meant to stay.
-
-After a while, during which I sat and watched, sitting bolt upright on
-my chair and gazing with a consternation and bewilderment which I cannot
-express upon her graceful attitude as she reclined back, wooing every
-kind of comfort, she suddenly drew her chair a little nearer to me and
-put her hand upon my knee.
-
-‘Look here,’ she said hurriedly, ‘you must see him for me. If any one
-could move him to do his duty it would be you. You must see him, and
-tell him I am--willing to go back. Perhaps he may not listen to you at
-first, but if you keep your temper and persevere----’
-
-‘I?’ said I, dismayed.
-
-‘Yes, indeed, who else? only you could do it. And if you are patient
-with him and keep your temper--the great thing with him is to keep your
-temper--I never could do it, but you could. It would not be difficult to
-you. You have not got that sort of a nature, one can see it in your
-face.’
-
-‘But you mistake me, I--I could not take it upon myself,’ I gasped.
-
-‘Not when I ask you? You might feel you were not equal to it, I allow.
-But when _I_ ask you? Oh, yes, you can do it. It is not so very hard,
-only to keep your temper, and to take no denial--no denial! Make him say
-he will not be so unkind any more. Oh, how tired it makes me even to
-think of it!’ she cried, suddenly putting up her hands to her face.
-‘Please don’t ask me any more, but do it--do it! I know you can.’
-
-And then she sat and rocked herself gently with her hands clasped over
-her face. This explanation had been too much for her, and somehow I felt
-that I was blamable, that it was my fault. I sat by her in a kind of
-dream, wondering what had happened to me. Was I under a spell? I did not
-seem able to move a step or raise a hand to throw off this burden from
-me. And the curious thing was that she never thanked me, never
-expressed, nor apparently felt, any sort of gratitude to me, but simply
-signified her will, and took my acquiescence as a right.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII
-
-
-I cannot tell how I got through that day: she got through it very
-comfortably, I think. In the evening she asked me to go into the pretty
-room she had been in last night.
-
-‘I am so fond of what is pretty,’ she said; ‘I like everything that is
-nice and pleasant. I never would sit in any but the best rooms in the
-house if I had a house like this.’
-
-‘But--someone might come in,’ I said. ‘To be sure the time for callers
-is over, but still my neighbours are very intimate with me, and some one
-might come in.’
-
-‘Well?’ she said, looking up in my face. ‘If they do, I don’t mind. You
-may have objections perhaps, but I have none. I don’t mind.’
-
-‘Oh! if you don’t mind,’ I said in my consternation; and I took up the
-cushion she had placed in her chair, and carried it humbly for her,
-while she made her way to the drawing-room.
-
-I think I was scarcely in possession of my senses. I was dazed. The
-whole position was so extraordinary. I was ashamed to think of any one
-coming in and finding her there: not because I was ashamed of _her_, but
-for my own sake. What was I to say to anybody? How was I to explain
-myself? I had taken her in without knowing anything of her, and she had
-taken possession of my house. Fortunately, no one came that night. She
-placed herself on the sofa, where she had lain in her wretchedness the
-night before. She stretched herself out upon it, lying back with an air
-of absolute enjoyment. She had got a book--a novel--which she was
-reading, not taking very much notice of me; but now and then she would
-pause to say a word. I think had any one seen us seated together that
-evening, without knowing anything of the circumstances, he would have
-decided that she was the lady of the house and I her humble and rather
-stupid companion. But I was more than rather stupid--I felt like a fool;
-and that in nothing more than this--that I could not for my life tell
-what to do.
-
-‘Nobody is coming to-night, I suppose?’ she said at last, putting down
-her book.
-
-‘No, I suppose not.’
-
-‘I thought from what you said you had always some one coming; and I like
-seeing people; I should like of all things to see some of the people
-here. Do you think if they saw me it would make any difference----? Oh,
-I can’t tell you exactly what I mean. I mean--but it is so very
-unpleasant to be always obliged to explain;’ and then she yawned: and
-then she said: ‘I am so tired; I think I shall go to bed. Hush! was not
-that some one at the door?’
-
-‘It is my next neighbour going home,’ I said.
-
-‘Does Reinhardt know the people about here?’
-
-‘He has not gone into society at all; but many of them know him to speak
-to,’ said I.
-
-‘Ah! that is always the way; you hide me out of sight, and you send word
-to your people not to come; but everybody is quite ready to make friends
-with him. Oh! I am so tired--I am tired of everything; life is so dull,
-so monotonous, always the same thing over, no pleasure, no amusement.’
-
-‘I live a very dull, quiet life,’ I said, as firmly as I could; ‘I
-cannot expect it to suit you; and perhaps to-morrow you will be able to
-make arrangements to go to your own home.’
-
-‘Ah!’ she said, giving a curious little cry. She looked at me, catching
-her breath; and then she cried, ‘My own home!--my own home! That is at
-the cottage yonder; you will open the door for me, and take me back
-there----’
-
-‘But how can I? Be reasonable,’ I said. ‘I scarcely know--your husband;
-I don’t know--you; how can I mediate between you? I don’t know anything
-of the circumstances. There must have been some cause for all this.
-Indeed it will be a great deal better to go home and get some one to
-interfere who knows all.’
-
-‘Don’t you believe in feelings?’ she said suddenly. ‘I do. The first
-time I saw Reinhardt I had the feeling I ought not to have anything to
-do with him, and I neglected it. When I saw you, it went through and
-through me like an arrow: ‘This is the person to do it. And I always
-trust my feelings. I am sure that you can do it, and no one else.’
-
-‘Indeed--indeed you are mistaken.’
-
-‘Oh! I am so tired,’ she cried again. ‘Let me go to bed. I can’t argue
-to-night; I am so dreadfully tired.’
-
-This was her way of getting over a difficulty, and what could I do? I
-could not stop her from going to bed; I could not turn her out of my
-house. I went to the door of the west room with her, more embarrassed
-and uncomfortable than could be described. She turned round and waved
-her hand to me as she shut the door. The light of the candle which she
-held shone upon her pale, beautiful face. She had my shawl still round
-her. I, too, had a candle in my hand, and as I strayed back through the
-long passage I am sure I looked like a ghost. Bewilderment was in my
-soul. Had I taken a burden on my shoulders for life? Was I never to be
-free again? Never alone as I used to be? It had only lasted one day; but
-there seemed no reason why it should ever come to an end.
-
-Then I went back and sat over the fire in the drawing-room, till it died
-away into white ashes, trying to decide what I should do. To consult
-somebody was of course my first thought; but whom could I consult? There
-was not one creature on the Green who would not blame me, who would not
-be shocked at my foolishness. I did not dare even to confess it to Lady
-Denzil. I must keep her concealed till I could persuade her to go away.
-And to think she should have been disappointed that nobody came! Good
-heavens! if anybody did come and see her, what should I do? Looming up
-before my imagination, in spite of all my resistance to it, came a
-picture of a possible interview with Mr. Reinhardt. It drove me half
-wild with fear to think of such a thing, and yet I felt as one sometimes
-does, that out of mere terror I should be driven to do it, if I could
-not persuade her to go away. That was my only hope, and I felt already
-what a forlorn hope it was.
-
-And thus another day passed, and another night. She was quite
-well-behaved, and sometimes her beauty overwhelmed me so that I felt I
-could do anything for her; and sometimes her strange calmness and
-matter-of-course way of taking everything filled me with irritation.
-She never looked or spoke as if she were obliged to me, neither did she
-ever imply, by anything she said or did, that she meant to go away. She
-would stand for a long time by the window, gazing at the East Cottage;
-she even stepped out into the garden through the drawing-room window,
-and went and stood at the gate, looking out, though I called her back,
-and trembled lest she should be seen (and, of course, she was seen); but
-the answer she gave me when I objected put a stop to the controversy.
-
-‘You are afraid to let people see me,’ she said; ‘but I don’t mind.
-There is nothing to be ashamed of in looking at Reinhardt’s house. If
-any one calls, it is quite the same to me. Indeed I would rather be seen
-than otherwise. I think it is right that people should see me.’
-
-To this I made no answer, for my heart was growing faint. And then she
-turned, and seized my arm--it was in the garden.
-
-‘Oh!’ she said, ‘listen to me. When are you going to see him? Are you
-going to-day?’
-
-As she spoke the sound of footsteps quite close to us made me start. I
-had my back to the gate, and she was standing close to the verandah, so
-that she saw who was coming though I could not. She dropped my arm
-instantly; she subdued her voice; she put on a smile; and then she
-half-turned, and began to gather some rosebuds from the great monthly
-rose, with the air of one who is waiting to be called forward.
-
-‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave! we have found you at last,’ said a voice in my ear,
-and, turning round, I saw the Stokes--Lottie and Lucy, and their brother
-Everard, a short way behind, following them on to the lawn.
-
-‘At last?’ I said.
-
-‘Yes, and I think we have a very good right to complain. Why, you have
-shut yourself up for two whole days. The Green is in a commotion about
-it,’ said Lottie, as she kissed me; and she threw a quick glance at the
-stranger, whom she did not know, and asked me, ‘Who is that?’ with her
-eyes.
-
-‘And somebody said you had visitors, but we would not believe it,’ Lucy
-began, open-mouthed.
-
-‘And so she has--one visitor, at least,’ said my guest, turning round,
-with her hand full of roses. Then she stopped short, and a look, which
-was half alarm, crept over her face. Everard Stoke was coming up behind.
-
-‘How do you do, Mrs. Mulgrave?’ he said in his languid way. ‘It is not
-my fault if I came in unceremoniously. It’s the girls who are to blame.’
-
-‘There is no one to blame,’ said I, turning round, and holding out my
-hand to him.
-
-But even in the moment of my turning round a change had come over him.
-He gave a slight start, and he looked straight over my shoulder at my
-companion. I said to myself that perhaps they knew each other, and
-forgave him his rudeness. But the next moment he went on hastily, ‘We
-must not stay now. Lottie, I have just remembered something I promised
-to do for my mother. I have just thought of it. Mrs. Mulgrave will
-excuse me. Come away quick, please.’
-
-‘Why, we have but just arrived!’ said Lucy, full of a girl’s resistance.
-
-‘Come!’ her brother said; and before I could speak he had swept them
-away again, leaving me in greater consternation than ever. My companion
-had turned back, and was busy again among the roses, gathering them. I
-had not even her to respond to my look of wonder. What was the meaning
-of it? Could they have known each other, Everard and she?
-
-‘Your friends are gone very soon,’ she said without turning to me; ‘it
-is rather strange; but I suppose they are strange people. Oh! how sweet
-these roses are--I never thought such pale roses could be so sweet.’
-
-I made her no answer, and, what was strangest of all, she did not seem
-to expect it, for immediately after she went back into the drawing-room,
-and the next minute I heard her voice singing as if on the way to her
-own room. The more I thought of it the more strange it seemed.
-
-That night she began to question me about my neighbours on the Green,
-and somehow managed to bring the conversation to the people who had
-called.
-
-‘I thought I knew the man’s face; I must have met him out,’ she said,
-looking at me steadily.
-
-Everard Stoke did not bear a good character on the Green. To have known
-him was no recommendation to any one; and this encounter did not
-increase my happiness. But after that first evening it did not disturb
-her. Next day went on like the previous one. I told the servants not to
-admit any visitors, and I felt as if I must be going mad. I could think
-only of one subject, my imagination could bring forward but one picture
-before me, and that was of a meeting with Mr. Reinhardt, which I kept
-going over in my mind. I said to myself, ‘I could not do it--I could not
-do it,’ with an angry vehemence, and yet I seemed to see just how he
-would look, and to hear what we were to say. It seemed to be the only
-outlet out of this impossible position in which I stood.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII
-
-
-‘Lady Denzil says she must see you, please, ma’am,’ said Mary at my room
-door.
-
-It had lasted for a week and I was downright ill. She would not go away;
-when I represented to her that I could not go on keeping her, that she
-must go to her own home, wherever that was, she either moaned that she
-had no home, or that I must open a way for her back to her husband. She
-was quite unmoved by my attempts to dislodge her. I told her I had
-people coming, and she assured me she did not mind, that there was
-plenty of room in the house, and that, if I wished it, she would change
-into a smaller chamber. This drove me almost out of my senses, I could
-not turn her out by force. I dared not face the criticisms of my
-neighbours: I shut myself up. I got a headache which never left me, and
-the result was, that I was quite ill. I had been lying down in my own
-room to try to get a little quiet and respite from the pain in my head;
-and I was impatient in my trouble, and felt disposed to turn my back on
-all the world.
-
-‘I cannot see her,’ I said impatiently. ‘I am not well enough to see any
-one.’
-
-‘Please, ma’am, is that what I am to say?’ asked Mary.
-
-Then I recollected myself. Lady Denzil was my close friend and
-counsellor. I had been admitted into the secret places of her life, and
-she knew me in every aspect of mine. I would not send such a reply to my
-old friend. I rose from my sofa and went stumbling to the door, feeling
-more miserable than I can say. ‘Tell her I have a very bad headache,
-Mary. I will try to see her to-morrow. Give her my love, and say that I
-could not talk to-day, nor explain anything. If she will please leave it
-till to-morrow!--’
-
-‘Please, ma’am,’ said Mary, earnestly, ‘I think it would be a deal
-better if you could make up your mind to see my lady to-day.’
-
-‘I cannot do it--I cannot do it!’ I said. ‘If you but knew how my head
-aches! Give her my dear love, but I must keep quiet. If you tell her
-that, she will understand.’
-
-‘If you won’t give no other answer, ma’am--’ said Mary, disapprovingly;
-and I had lost my wits so completely that I actually locked the door
-when she went down-stairs, in case some one should force the way. I went
-back to my sofa and lay down again. I had closed the shutters, I don’t
-know why--not that the light hurt me, but because I did not feel able to
-bear anything. I never lost my head in the same way before. I was
-irritable to such a degree that I could not bear any one to speak to
-me--this was, I suppose, because I felt that nobody would approve of me,
-and was ashamed of myself and my weakness. While I lay thus, _she_ began
-to sing down-stairs; she had a pretty voice; there was a quaver in it,
-which was in reality a defect, but did not appear so when she sang. Her
-voice, I felt sure, could be heard half over the Green, and Lady Denzil
-would be sure to hear it, and what would they think of me? They would
-think she was a relation, somebody belonging to me, whom I had motive
-for hiding. No one would believe that she was a mere stranger whom I
-knew nothing of.
-
-I kept as much away from her as I could during the day, and in the
-evening, when I came down-stairs, I managed to steal out by myself for
-a walk. I thought the fresh air would do me good, and, as all the people
-were at dinner, I was not likely to meet any one. When I felt myself
-outside and free, I stood still for a moment, and in my weakness three
-or four different impulses came upon me. In the first place I had a
-temptation to run away. It seems absurd to write it, but my feeling of
-nervous irritation was so great that I actually entertained for a moment
-the idea of abandoning my own house because this strange woman had taken
-possession of it. And then I thought of rushing to Lady Denzil, whom I
-had not long before sent away from my door, and entreating her to come
-and save me. When I had made but a few steps from my own gate a nervous
-terror made me pause again, and, turning round suddenly, I almost ran
-against some one coming in the opposite direction. I made a
-half-conscious clutch at him when I saw who it was, and then tried to
-hurry past in the fluctuations of my despair. But he stopped, struck, I
-suppose, by the strangeness of my looks.
-
-‘Can I do anything for you?’ he asked.
-
-‘Oh, yes--everything!’ I gasped forth, not knowing what I said.
-
-‘I! That is strange--that is very strange! but if it should be so!--Will
-you lean upon my arm, Mrs. Mulgrave? you are very much agitated.’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I am very much agitated, but I will not lean upon you,
-for perhaps you will think I am your enemy--though I don’t mean to be
-anybody’s enemy, Heaven knows.’
-
-‘Ah!’ he said. This little cry came from him unawares, and he fell back
-a step, and his face, which was like ivory, took a yellower pale tint. I
-do not mean that I observed this in my agitation at the moment, but I
-felt it. His countenance changed. He already divined what it was.
-
-‘I am very sure of that--that you mean only to be kind to all the
-world,’ he said. He had a slight foreign accent, a roll of the _r_ which
-is not in an English voice, and he spoke very deliberately, like one to
-whom English was an acquired language. I think this struck me now for
-the first time.
-
-Then we paused and looked at each other--he on his guard; I, trembling
-in every limb trying to remember what I had said in my imaginary
-interviews with him, and feeling as if my very mind had gone. I made a
-despairing attempt to collect myself, to state her case in the best
-possible way, but I might as well have tried any impossible feat of
-athletics. I could not do it.
-
-‘There is a lady,’ I faltered, ‘in my house.’
-
-A kind of smile crossed his face at the first words. He gave a nod as if
-to say, ‘I know it;’ but again a change came over him when I finished my
-sentence.
-
-‘In your house!’
-
-‘Yes, in my house,’ I went on, finding myself at last wound up to
-speech. ‘I found her on Friday last at your door--seated in the dust,
-almost dying.’
-
-Here he stopped, making an incredulous movement--a shrug of the
-shoulders, an elevation of the eyebrows.
-
-‘It is true,’ I said: ‘she has heart-disease: she could scarcely walk
-the little distance to my house. Had you seen her, as I did, panting,
-gasping for very breath----’
-
-‘I should have thought it a fiction,’ he said, bitterly, ‘and I know her
-best.’
-
-‘It was no fiction. Oh, you may have had your wrongs. I say nothing to
-the contrary,’ I cried: ‘for anything I can tell, you may have been
-deeply wronged; but she is so beautiful, and so young, and loves
-pleasure and luxury so----’
-
-I think he heard only the half of what I said, and that struck him like
-an unexpected arrow. He turned from me and walked a few steps away, and
-then came back again. ‘So beautiful and so young,’ he cried. ‘Who should
-know that so well as I?--who should know that so well as I?’
-
-‘You know it, and still you let her sit at your door all through the
-lonely night? I would not let a tramp shiver at mine if I could help it.
-You let her perish within reach of you. You condemn her at her age, with
-her lovely face, unheard----’
-
-He put out his hand to stop me. He was as much agitated as I was. ‘Her
-lovely face,’ he said to himself,--‘oh, her lovely face!’ That was the
-point at which I touched him. It woke recollections in him which were
-more eloquent than anything I could say.
-
-‘Yes,’ I said, ‘think of it.’ I do not know by what inspiration I laid
-hold upon this feature of the story--her beauty; perhaps because it was
-the real explanation of the power she had acquired over me.
-
-But in a minute more he had overcome his agitation; he came to a sudden
-pause in front of me and looked at me in the face, though there were
-signs of a conflict in his. ‘It is vain to attempt to move me,’ he said,
-hoarsely. ‘I do not know why you should take it in hand, or why you
-should try to attain your object in this way. I did not expect it from
-such as you. Her lovely face--does that make her good or true or fit for
-a man’s wife?’
-
-‘No doubt it was for that you married her,’ said I, with an impulse I
-could not restrain.
-
-He turned away from me again; he made a few hasty steps and then he came
-back. ‘I do not choose to discuss my own history with a stranger,’ he
-said; and then softening into politeness: ‘You said I could do something
-for you. What can I do?’
-
-This question suddenly brought me to a standstill, for even in my
-perplexity and confusion, and the state of semi-despair I had been
-thrown into by my visitor, a vestige of reason still remained in my
-mind. After all he must know her and his own concerns better than I
-could. His question seemed to stop my breath. ‘She is in my house,’ I
-said.
-
-‘You are too charitable, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ he answered harshly. His voice
-sounded loud and sharp to me after the subdued tone in which we had been
-speaking, for we were the only two living creatures visible on the
-Green. Everything was quiet around us, and the night beginning to fall.
-
-‘I did not mean to be charitable,’ I said, feeling that there was,
-without any consciousness of mine, a tone of apology in my voice. ‘I did
-not expect--what has happened. I meant her to leave me--next day.’
-
-‘She will never leave you as long as you will keep her and give her all
-she wants,’ he said, in the same sharp, harsh voice.
-
-‘Then Heaven help me!’ I cried, in my confusion, ‘what am I to do?’
-
-He seized my arm, so that he hurt me, in what seemed a sudden access of
-passion. ‘It will teach you not to thrust yourself into other people’s
-concerns, or meddle with what does not concern you,’ he said. He had
-come quite close to me, and his face was flushed with passion. I think
-it was the only time I was ever so spoken to in my life. The effect was
-bewildering, but I was more surprised than afraid. In short, the curious
-shock of this unexpected rage, the rude, sudden touch, the angry voice,
-brought me to myself.
-
-‘I think you forget yourself, Mr. Reinhardt,’ I said.
-
-Then he dropped my arm as if the touch burned him, and turned away, and
-shook, as I could see, with the effort to control himself. His passion
-calmed me, but it swept over him like a storm. He muttered something at
-length, hurriedly, in which there was the word ‘pardon,’ as if he were
-forced most unwillingly to say it, and then he turned round upon me
-again: ‘I may have forgotten myself, as you say; but you force me to
-face a subject I would give the world to forget, and in the only way
-that makes it unavoidable. Good heavens! your amiability, and your
-Christianity, and all that, force me to take up again what I had put
-from me for ever. And you look for politeness, too!’
-
-I did not make any answer: what was the use? At bottom, I did blame
-myself; I should not have interfered; I should have been firm enough and
-strong enough to take her to her home, wherever it was: I did not stand
-upon my defence. I let him say what he would; and I cannot tell how long
-this went on. I suppose the interval was not nearly so long as it seemed
-to me. He stood before me, and he smiled and frowned, and ground his
-teeth and discharged, as it were, bitter sentences at me. Englishmen can
-be brutal enough, but no Englishman, I think, would have done it in this
-way. He seemed to take a pleasure in saying everything that was most
-disagreeable. When he scowled at me I could bear it, but when he smiled
-and affected politeness I grew so angry that I could have struck him.
-Poor wretch! perhaps there was some justification for him after all.
-
-‘Because you are a woman!’ he cried. ‘A woman!--what it is to be a
-woman! It gives you a right to set every power of hell in motion, and
-always to be spared the consequences; to upset every arrangement of the
-world, and disturb the quiet, and put your fingers into every mess, and
-always to be held blameless. That is your right. Oh, I like those
-women’s rights! I should have knocked down the man who had interfered as
-you have done; but, because you are a woman, I must come out of my
-quiet, I must derange my life, to save you from your folly. God in
-heaven! was that what those creatures, those slaves, those toys were
-made for? To interfere--for ever to interfere--and to be spared the
-consequences at any cost to us?’
-
-I don’t know how I bore it all. I got tired after a while of the mere
-physical effort of standing to listen to him. I did not try to answer at
-first, and after the torrent began I could not, he spoke so fast and so
-vehemently. But at length I turned from him, and walked slowly, as well
-as I was able, to my own door. He paused for a moment as if in surprise,
-and then turned and walked on with me, talking and gesticulating.
-‘Nothing else would have disturbed me,’ he said; ‘I had made my
-arrangements. How was I to tell that a fool, a woman,--would thrust
-herself into it, and put it on my honour as a gentleman to free her?
-What has honour to do with it? Why should I trouble more for a woman--an
-old woman--than for a man? Bah! Ah, I will be rude; yes, I am rude; it
-is a pleasure--it is a compensation. You are plain; you are old. You
-have lost what charms. Therefore, what right have you to be considered?
-Why should you not bear your own folly? Why should I interfere?’
-
-‘Pray make yourself quite easy about me,’ I said, roused in my turn. ‘I
-did not appeal to you on my account, and anything you can do for me
-would be dearly purchased by submitting to this violence. Go your own
-way, and leave me to manage my own concerns.’
-
-He stopped, bewildered; and then he asked with confusion, ‘What do you
-call your own concerns?’
-
-‘Nothing that can any way affect you,’ I said, and in my passion I went
-in at my own gate and closed it upon him. I stood on one side defying
-him, and he stood on the other with confusion and amazement on his face.
-
-‘You do not wish my help any more?’
-
-‘No more. I shall act for myself, without thought of you,’ I said. He
-stood and gazed at me for a moment, and then suddenly he turned round
-and left me. I looked after him as he walked rapidly away, and I confess
-that, notwithstanding my indignation and pride, my heart sank. He was
-the only creature who could help me, and I had driven him away. I had
-taken once more upon myself the task which it had made me half frantic
-to think of. My heart fell. I looked back upon my house, which had been
-such a haven of quietness and rest for so many years, and felt that the
-Eden was spoiled--that it was no longer my paradise. And yet I had
-rejected the only help! I was very forlorn, standing there with my hand
-upon my gate under the chilly October stars, having thrust all my
-friends from me, and refused even the only possible deliverance. ‘I
-cannot allow myself to be insulted,’ I said to myself, trying to get
-some comfort from my pride, but that was cold consolation. I turned
-round to go in, sighing and ready to sink with fatigue and trouble; and
-then I suddenly heard moans coming from the house, and Mary calling and
-beckoning from the open door.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX
-
-
-‘Oh, ma’am, the poor lady’s took bad--the poor dear lady’s took very
-bad!’ This was Mary’s cry as she hurried me in. The windows were all
-wide open to give her air. She was lying on the sofa gasping for breath,
-her mouth and her eyes open, two hectic circles of red upon her cheeks,
-and that wildly anxious look upon her face which always accompanies a
-struggle for breath. I did not feel at all sure that she was not dying.
-I called out to my cook to run instantly for the doctor. Both the women
-had been in the room running about as she gave them wild orders, opening
-the windows one after another, fetching her fans, eau-de-cologne, water,
-wine--as one thing after another occurred to her. She stretched out her
-hands to me as I came in, and grasped and pulled me to her; she said
-something which I could not make out in her gasping, broken voice, and I
-nodded my head and pretended to understand, saying, ‘Yes, yes,’ to calm
-her--‘Yes, yes.’ It did not seem to matter what one said or promised at
-such a moment. For some time, every gasp looked to me as if it must be
-her last. I bathed her forehead with eau-de-cologne, I wetted her lips
-with wine; I had hard ado not to cry out, too, in sympathy with her
-distress. I shut down now one window, now another, fearing the cold for
-her, and then opening them again, in obedience to her gestures to give
-her air. I seem to see and to feel now, as I recall it, the room so
-unlike itself, with the cold night air blowing through and through it,
-and the great squares of blackness and night, with a bit of sky in one,
-which broke confusedly the familiar walls, and made it doubtful to my
-bewildered and excited mind whether I was out of doors or in--whether
-the chairs and sofa and the lamp on the table had been transported into
-the garden, or the garden had invaded the house. The wind made me
-shiver; the flame of the lamp wavered even within its protecting glass;
-darkness and mystery breathed in; and, in the centre absorbing all
-thoughts, was this struggle between, as I thought, death and life. I
-cannot tell how time passed, or how long we were in this suspense; but
-it seemed to me that half the night must have been over before the
-doctor came, in evening dress, with huge white wristbands, as if he were
-going to perform an operation. Notwithstanding the anxiety I was in,
-this fantastic idea flashed across my mind: for his cuffs were always
-too long and white. But it was a relief beyond description when he came:
-the responsibility, at least, seemed to be taken off my shoulders. I had
-scarcely permitted myself to hope before that the paroxysm was already
-beginning to subside; but now it became evident to me; and Dr. Houghton
-gave her something, which at once relieved her. I sat down beside the
-sofa, feeling half stupefied with the sensation of relief, and watched
-her breathing gradually grow calmer, and the struggle abate. I think my
-own brain had given way slightly under the tension. It seemed to me that
-the room behind me was full of people whispering and flitting about, and
-that all kinds of echoes and murmurs of voices were coming in at the
-open windows. I suppose it was only my own maids, and Susan from the
-Admiral’s next door who had come to see what was the matter; but the
-strange sensation of being almost in the open air, and the worn-out
-state in which I was, produced this effect. I could not move however to
-put a stop to it. I could do nothing but sit still and watch. And thus
-the scene of the first evening, when I brought this strange inmate home
-to my house, reproduced itself, with another bewildering effect, before
-my eyes. She was no longer dusty and miserable; her poor black dress was
-neat and covered by my shawl; her hair had been elaborately dressed,
-and, though a little disordered, still showed how carefully it had been
-arranged; but otherwise, the attitude, the look, were exactly the same.
-Her head was thrown back in utter exhaustion upon the dark velvet
-pillow, which showed it in relief, like a white cameo on the dark
-background of the _pietra dura_. Her eyes were softly closed, and her
-lips. The doctor, who had gone away to write a prescription, was struck
-by her wonderful beauty, as I had been that night. He started in his
-surprise when he came back and saw how she had dropped asleep. He drew
-me aside in his amazement; the discovery flashed upon him all in a
-moment, as it had done on me. When a woman is very ill, when one’s mind
-is full of anxiety for her, her beauty is the last thing one thinks of.
-So that the sudden sight of her confounded him. ‘How beautiful she is!’
-he said in my ear with a certain agitation; and though I am only a
-woman, I had been agitated, too, when I found it out.
-
-It was just when the doctor had said this that my eye was suddenly
-caught by a strange figure at one of the open windows. It stepped on to
-the sill, dark against the blackness without, and there paused a moment.
-Had this occurred at any other time I should, no doubt, have been very
-much frightened, I should have rushed to the window and demanded to know
-what he wanted, with terror and indignation; but to-night I took it as a
-matter of course. I did not even move, but kept still by the side of my
-patient’s sofa and looked at him: and when he came in it seemed to me
-the most natural thing in the world. He entered with a sudden, impetuous
-movement as if something had pushed him forward. He advanced into the
-middle of the room--into the little circle round the sofa. It was Mr.
-Reinhardt. He had never been in my house before, or in any house on the
-Green, and Dr. Houghton looked at him and looked at me with positive
-consternation. For my part, I gave him no greeting. I did not say a
-word. It seemed natural that he should come, that was all.
-
-There was a curious sort of smile upon his face; he was wound up to some
-course of action or other. What he thought of doing I cannot tell. His
-face looked as if he had come with the intention of taking her by the
-shoulders and turning her out. I don’t know why I thought so, but there
-was a certain mixture of fierceness, and contempt, and impatience in his
-look which suggested the idea. ‘I have come to put a stop to all this. I
-shall not put up with it for a moment longer.’ Though he did not speak a
-word, this seemed to sound in my ears, somehow, as if he had said it in
-his mind. But when he came to the sofa and saw her laid out in that dead
-sleep, her face white as marble, the blue veins visible on her closed
-eyelids, the breath faintly coming and going, he came to a sudden pause.
-I think for the first moment he thought she was dead. He gave a short
-cry, and then turned to me wildly, as if I were responsible. ‘You have
-killed her,’ he said. He was in that state of suppressed passion in
-which anything might happen. He would have railed at her had he found
-her conscious, he would have railed at me if I would have let him: he
-was half mad.
-
-‘Tell him,’ I said, turning to the doctor. Dr. Houghton was a man of the
-world, and tried very hard not to look surprised. He put his hand upon
-Mr. Reinhardt’s shoulder to draw him away: but he would not be drawn
-away. He stood fast there, with his brows contracted and his eyes fixed
-on the sleeping face: he listened to the doctor’s explanations without
-moving or looking up. He said not a word further to any one, but drew a
-chair in front of the sofa and sat down there with his eyes fixed upon
-her. Oh, what thoughts must have been going through his mind. The woman
-whom he had loved--I do not doubt passionately in his way--whom he had
-married, whom he had cast away from him! And there she lay before him
-unconscious, unaware of his presence, beautiful as when she had been
-his, like a creature seen in a dream.
-
-‘He had better be got to go away before she wakes,’ Dr. Houghton said in
-my ear. ‘Do you think you can make one more exertion, Mrs. Mulgrave, and
-send him away? Can you hear what I am saying? She will be in a very weak
-state, and any excitement might be dangerous. I don’t know what
-connection there is between them, but can’t you send him away? Who is
-this next?’
-
-This time it was a very timid figure at the window, a halting, furtive
-old man peeping in. And somehow this, too, seemed quite natural to me. I
-felt that I knew everything that happened as if I had planned it all
-beforehand. ‘It is his servant come to look for him,’ said I. And the
-doctor went to the window with impatience and pulled poor old White in,
-and shut it down.
-
-‘The draught goes through and through one,’ he said, with a shiver. It
-was quite true; I was trembling with cold where I sat by the sleeping
-woman’s side; but it had not occurred to me to shut the window;
-everything seemed unchangeable, as if we had nothing to do with it
-except to accept whatever happened. When White came in he looked round
-him with great astonishment, and made me a very humble, frightened bow,
-while he whispered and explained to the doctor how it was he had taken
-the liberty. Then he gradually approached his master;--but when he saw
-the figure on the sofa consternation swallowed up all his other
-sentiments. He flung his arms above his head and uttered a stifled cry,
-and then he rushed at his master with a sudden vehemence which showed
-how deeply the sight had moved him. He put his hand upon Mr. Reinhardt’s
-shoulder and shook him gently.
-
-‘Sir, sir!’ he cried; then stooped to his ear and whispered, ‘Master;
-Mr. Reinhardt; master!’ Reinhardt took no notice of the old man, he sat
-absorbed with his eyes fixed on that marble, beautiful face. ‘Oh, sir,
-come with me! Oh! come with me, my dear master!’ said the old man. ‘You
-know what I’m saying is for your good--you know it’s for your good. It’s
-getting late, sir, time for the house to be shut up. Oh, Mr.
-Reinhardt--sir, come away with me! come with me--do!’
-
-Mr. Reinhardt pushed him impatiently away, but did not answer a word; he
-never removed his eyes from her for a moment. They seemed to me to grow
-like Charon’s eyes, like circles of fire, while he gazed at her. Was it
-in wrath--was it in love?
-
-‘Mrs. Mulgrave, ma’am,’ cried White, turning to me, but always in a
-voice which was scarcely above a whisper, ‘Oh, speak to him! It ain’t
-for his good to sit and stare at her like that. I know what comes of it.
-If he sits like that and looks to her it’ll all begin over again. He
-ain’t a man that can stand it, he ain’t indeed. Oh, my lady, if you’ll
-be a friend to him, speak and make him go.’
-
-‘Ah!’ said a soft, sighing voice. ‘Ah! old White!’ We all started as if
-a shell had fallen among us: and yet it was not wonderful that she
-should wake with all this conversation going on by her bed--and besides
-she had slept a long time, more than an hour. She had not changed her
-position in the least, all she had done was to open her eyes. I don’t
-know whether it was simply her supreme yet indolent self-estimation
-which kept her from paying us the compliment of making any movement on
-our account, or if it was from some consciousness that her beauty could
-not be shown to greater advantage. But certainly she did not move. She
-only opened her eyes, and said, ‘Ah, old White!’
-
-But oh, to see how the man started, who was nearer to her than White! It
-was as if a ball or a sword-stroke had gone through him. He sprang from
-his chair, and then he checked himself and drew it close and sat down
-again. He glanced round upon us all as if he would have cleared not only
-the chamber but the world of us, had it been possible, and then he leant
-over her and said sternly, ‘There are others here besides White.’
-
-‘Ah!’ Either she was afraid of him or pretended to be; she clutched at
-my sleeve with her hand, she shrank back a little, but still did not
-change her attitude nor raise herself so as to see his face.
-
-‘I am here,’ he went on, his voice trembling with passion. ‘I whom you
-have hunted, whose life you have poisoned. Oh, woman! you dare not look
-at me nor speak to me, but you wrong me behind my back. You whisper
-tales of me wherever I go. Here I had a moment’s peace and you have
-ruined it. Tell these people the truth once in your life. Is it I that
-am in the wrong or you?’
-
-A frightened look had stolen over her face, her eyebrows contracted as
-with fear. Her eyes became full of tears, and the corners of her
-beautiful mouth quivered. Heaven forgive me! I asked myself was it all
-feigning, or had she something kinder and better in her which I had
-never seen till now? But those eyes, which were like great cups of light
-filled with dew, once more turned to him. She remained immovable,
-looking up to his face, when he repeated hoarsely, ‘You or I, which is
-in the wrong?’
-
-She answered with a shiver which ran all over her, ‘I.’ Her voice was
-like a sigh. I did not know what his wrongs might be, but whatever they
-were, at that moment there could be no doubt about it. He, a hard,
-unsympathetic, inhuman soul, it must be he that was in the wrong, not
-she, though she confessed it so sweetly; and if this effect was produced
-upon me, what should it be upon him?
-
-Mr. Reinhardt shook like a leaf in the wind. He had not expected this.
-It was a surprise to him. He had expected to be blamed. It startled him
-so, that for the moment he was silent, gazing at her. But old White was
-not silent. ‘Oh! master, master, come away, come home,’ he pleaded,
-wringing his hands; and then he came and touched my shoulder and cried
-like a child. ‘Speak to him, send him away!’ he cried. ‘It is for his
-own good. If she speaks to him like that, if she keeps her temper, it is
-all over; it will have all to be begun again.’
-
-Reinhardt made a long pause. He looked as if he were gathering up his
-strength to speak again, and when he did so, it was with the fictitious
-heat of a man whose heart is melting. ‘How dare you say “I,”’ he said,
-‘when you do not mean it?--when all your life you have said otherwise?
-You have reproached me, stirred up my friends against me, kept your own
-sins in the background and published mine. You have done this for
-years, and now is it a new art you are trying? Do not think you can
-deceive me,’ he cried, getting up in his agitation; ‘it is impossible. I
-am not such a credulous fool.’
-
-She kept her eyes on the ceiling, not looking at him; the moisture in
-them seemed to swell, but did not overflow. ‘I may not change then?’ she
-said, very low. ‘I may not see that I am wrong? I am not to be permitted
-to repent?’
-
-He turned from her and began to pace up and down the room; he plucked at
-his waistcoat and cravat as though they choked him. More than once he
-returned to the sofa as if with something to say, but went away again.
-When White approached, he was pushed away with impatience, and once with
-such force that he span round as he was driven back. This last repulse
-seemed to convince him. ‘Be a fool, then, if you will, sir,’ he said
-sharply, and withdrew altogether into a corner, where he watched the
-scene. I do not think Reinhardt even saw this or anything else. He was
-walking up and down hastily like a man out of his mind, struggling, one
-could not but see, with a hundred demons, and tempting his fate.
-
-He came back again however in his tumultuous uncertainty, and bent over
-her once more. ‘Talk of repentance--talk of change,’ he cried bitterly.
-‘How often have you pretended as much? Do you hear me, woman?’ (bending
-down so close that his breath must have touched her)--‘how often have
-you done it? how often have you pretended? Oh, false, false as death!’
-
-She put her hand upon his shoulder, almost on his neck. He broke away
-from her with a hoarse cry; he made another wild march round the room.
-Then he came back.
-
-‘Julia,’ he cried, ‘Julia, Julia, Julia! Mine!’
-
-She lay still as a tiger that is going to spring. He fell on his knees
-beside her, weeping, storming in his passion. Good Lord! was it my
-doing? was I responsible? White gave me a furious look, and rushed out
-of the room. The husband and wife were reconciled.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X
-
-
-This is about the end of the story so far as I am concerned. He spent
-the night there by her sofa, kissing her dress and her hands, and
-watching her in a transport of passion and perhaps delight. For the last
-I would not answer. It must have been at best a troubled joy; and a
-man’s infatuation for a beautiful face is not what I call love, though
-it is often a very tragic and terrible passion. He took her away in the
-morning, but not to his own house. They went straight from mine to
-London, that great receptacle of everybody’s misery and happiness. I saw
-them both before they left, though only for a moment. She was still
-lying on the sofa as when I left her, and the half disorder of her
-hair, the exhaustion in her face, seemed rather to enhance her beauty.
-Any one else would have looked jaded and worn out, but a faint flush of
-triumph and satisfaction had stolen over her (partly perhaps produced by
-her weakness) and woke the marble into life. She stretched out her hand
-to me carelessly as I went in. She said with a smile, ‘You see my
-feeling was right. I always trust my feelings. I knew you were the
-person to do it, and you have done it. I felt it whenever I saw your
-face.’
-
-‘I hope it will be lasting, and that you may be happy,’ I said,
-faltering, not knowing what tone to take.
-
-‘Oh, yes, it is to be hoped so. He is going to take me to London,’ she
-answered carelessly. ‘I am quite sorry to leave your nice house,
-everything has been so comfortable. It is small and it is plain, but you
-know how to make yourself comfortable. I suppose when one has lived so
-long one naturally does.’
-
-This was all her thanks to me. The husband took the matter in a
-different way. They had a fire lighted and coffee taken to them in the
-drawing-room (which was left in the saddest confusion after all the
-disturbance of the night); and it was when the carriage he had ordered
-was at the door, and she had gone to make herself ready, that he came to
-me. I was in the dining-room with my breakfast on the table, which I was
-too much worn out to take. His face was very strange; it was full of
-suppressed excitement, with a wild, strained look about the eyes, and a
-certain air of heat and haste, though his colour was like ivory as
-usual. ‘I have to thank you,’ he said to me, very stiffly, ‘and if I
-said anything amiss in my surprise last night, I hope you will forgive
-it. I can only thank you now; nothing else is possible. But I must add,
-I hope we shall never meet again.’
-
-‘I assure you, if we do, it shall not be with my will,’ said I, feeling
-very angry as I think I had a right to be.
-
-He bowed, but made no reply; not because words failed him. I felt that
-he would have liked nothing better than to have fallen upon me and
-metaphorically torn me to pieces. He had been overcome by his own heart
-or passions, and had taken her back, but he hated me for having drawn
-him to do so. He saw the tragic folly of the step he was taking. There
-was a gloom in his excitement such as I cannot describe. He had no
-strength to resist her, but she was hateful to him even while he adored
-her. And doubly hateful, without any counter-balancing attraction, was
-I, who had as it were betrayed him to his fate.
-
-‘I trust your wife and you will be happy--now,’ I said, trying to speak
-firmly. He interrupted me with a hoarse laugh.
-
-‘My wife!’
-
-‘Is she not your wife?’ I said in alarm.
-
-He laughed again, even more hoarsely, with a sharp tone in the sound.
-‘What do you call a woman who is taken back after--everything? Who is
-taken back because---- What is she, do you suppose? What is he, the
-everlasting dupe and fool! Don’t speak to me any more.’ He hurried away
-from me, and then turned round again at the door. ‘I spoke a little
-wildly perhaps,’ he said, with a smile, which was more disagreeable than
-his rage, ‘without due thought for Mrs. Reinhardt’s reputation. Make
-yourself quite easy--she is my wife.’
-
-That was the last I saw of them. I was too much offended to go to the
-door to see them leave the house, but it is impossible to describe the
-relief with which I listened to the wheels ringing along the road as
-they went away. Was it really true?--was this nightmare removed from me,
-and my house my own again? I did not know whether to laugh or to cry. I
-fell down on my knees and made some sort of confused thanksgiving. It
-seemed to me as if I had been in this horrible bondage half my life.
-
-Mary came in about half-an-hour after to take away the breakfast things.
-I had swallowed a cup of tea, but I had not been able to eat. Mary was
-still disapproving, but quieter than at first; she shook her head over
-the untouched food. ‘We’ll be having you ill next, ma’am,’ she said,
-with an evident feeling that cook and she would in that case have good
-reason to complain; and then, after a pause, she added severely, ‘I
-don’t know if you knew, ma’am, as the lady is gone off in your best
-shawl?’
-
-‘My shawl!’ I had thought no more of it: but this sudden news took away
-my breath.
-
-‘She was always fond of it,’ said Mary grimly. ‘She liked the best of
-everything did that lady; and she couldn’t make up her mind to take it
-off when she went away.’
-
-Though I was so confounded and confused, I made an effort to keep up
-appearances still. ‘She will send it back, of course, as soon as she
-gets--home,’ I said; ‘as soon as she gets--her own things.’
-
-‘I am sure I hope so, ma’am,’ said Mary, carrying off her tray. Her tone
-was not one to inspire hope in the listener, and I confess that for the
-rest of the morning my shawl held a very large place in my thoughts. It
-was the most valuable piece of personal property I possessed. When I
-used to take it out and wrap it round me, it was always with a certain
-pride. It was the kind of wrap which dignifies any dress. ‘With that
-handsome shawl, it does not matter what else you wear,’ Mrs. Stoke was
-in the habit of saying to me; and though Mrs. Stoke was not a great
-authority in most matters, she knew what she was saying on this point. I
-said to myself, ‘Of course she will send it back,’ but I had a very
-chill sensation of doubt about my heart.
-
-All the morning I sat still over the fire, with a longing to go and talk
-to some one. For more than a week now, I had not exchanged a word with
-my neighbours, and this was terrible to a person like me, living
-surrounded by so many whose lives had come to be a part of mine. But I
-had not the courage to take the initiative. I cannot tell how I longed
-for some one to come, for the ice to be broken. And it was only natural
-that people should be surprised and offended, and even have learned to
-distrust me. For who could they suppose I was hiding away like
-that--some mysterious sinner belonging to myself--some one I had a
-special interest in? And then she had been recognized by Everard Stoke!
-
-At about twelve o’clock my quietness was disturbed by the sound of some
-one coming; my heart began to beat and my face to flush, but it was only
-old White with his fellow-servant, Mississarah, as he called her,
-pronouncing the two words as if they were one. Their visit put me in
-possession of the whole miserable story. It was like a tale of
-enchantment all through. The man had been a mature man of forty or more,
-buried in science and learning, when he first saw the beautiful creature
-who since seemed to have been the curse of his life. She was an
-innkeeper’s daughter, untaught and unrefined. He had tried to educate
-her, married her, done everything that a man mad with love could do to
-make her a lady--nay, to make her a decorous woman--but he had failed
-and over again failed. They did not tell me, and I did not wish to hear,
-what special sins she had done against him. I suppose she had done
-everything that a wicked wife could do. She had been put into honourable
-retirement with the hope of recovery again and again. Then she had been
-sent away in anger. But every time the unfortunate husband had fallen
-under her personal influence--the influence of her beauty--she had been
-taken back.
-
-‘She hates him,’ poor White said, almost crying, ‘but he can’t resist
-her. He’s mad, ma’am, mad, that’s what it is. He could kill hisself for
-giving in, but he can’t help hisself. We’ve had to watch him night and
-day as he shouldn’t hear her nor see her, for when her money’s done she
-always comes back to him. He’ll kill her some day or kill hisself.
-Mississarah knows as I’m speaking true.’
-
-‘As true as the Bible,’ said Mississarah; but she was softer than he
-towards the wife. ‘He was too wise and too good for her, ma’am,’ she
-said, ‘a fool and a wise man can’t walk together--it’s hard on the wise
-man, but maybe it’s a bit hard too on the fool. Folks don’t make
-themselves. She mightn’t have been so bad----’
-
-‘Oh, go along; go along, Mississarah, do,’ said White. ‘We’ll have to go
-off from here where all was quiet and nice, and start again without
-knowing no more than Adam. But he’ll kill her, some day, you’ll see, or
-he’ll kill hisself.’
-
-Mississarah was a north-country woman, and had a little feeling that her
-master was a foreigner, and therefore necessarily more or less guilty;
-but White was half a foreigner himself and totally devoted to his
-master. When they had poured forth their sorrows to me, they went away
-disconsolate, and their fears about leaving East Cottage were so soon
-justified that I never saw them more.
-
-And then came my melancholy luncheon, which was set on the table for me,
-and which I loathed the sight of. To escape from it I went into the
-drawing-room, from which all traces of last night’s confusion were gone.
-I was so miserable, and lonely, and weary that I think I dropped asleep
-over the fire. I had been up almost all night, and there seemed nothing
-so comfortable in all the world as forgetting one’s very existence and
-being able to get to sleep.
-
-I woke with the murmur of voices in my ears. Lady Denzil was sitting by
-me holding my hand. She gave me a kiss, and whispered to me in her soft
-voice,--‘We know all about it--we know all about it, my dear,’ patting
-me softly with her kind hand. I’m afraid I broke down and cried like a
-child. I am growing old myself, to be sure, but Lady Denzil, thank
-Heaven, might have been even my mother--and if you consider all the
-agitation, all the disturbance I had come through!
-
-I think everybody on the Green called that day, and each visitor was
-more kind than the other. ‘I shall always consider it a special
-providence, however, that none of us called or were introduced to her,’
-Mrs. General Perronet said solemnly. But she was the only one who made
-any allusion to the terrible guest I had been hiding in my house. They
-took me out to get the air--they made me walk to the Dell to see the
-autumn colour on the trees. They carried me off to dine at the Lodge,
-and brought me home with a body-guard. ‘You are not fit to be trusted to
-walk home by yourself,’ Lottie Stoke said, giving me her arm. In short,
-the Green received me back with acclamations, as if I had been a
-returned Prodigal, and I found that I could laugh over the new and most
-unexpected _rôle_, which I thus found myself filling, as soon as the
-next day.
-
-Some time after, I received my shawl in a rough parcel, sent by railway.
-It was torn in two or three places by the pins it had been fastened
-with, and had several small stains upon it. It was sent without a word,
-without any apologies, with Mrs. Reinhardt’s compliments written outside
-the brown paper cover, in a coarse hand. And that was the only direct
-communication I ever had with my strange guest. Before Christmas however
-there was a paragraph in some of the papers that L. Reinhardt, Esq., had
-volunteered to accompany an expedition going to Africa in order to make
-some scientific observations. There was a great crowded, enthusiastic
-meeting of the Geographical Society, in which his wonderful devotion was
-dwelt on and the sacrifice he was making to the interests of science.
-And he was even mentioned in the House of Commons, where some great
-personage took it upon him to say that in the arrangement of the
-expedition the greatest assistance had been received from Mr. Reinhardt,
-who, himself a man of wealth and leisure, had generously devoted his
-energies to it, and smoothed away a great many of the difficulties in
-the way--a good work for which science and his country would alike be
-grateful to him, said the orator. Oh, me! oh, me! I looked up in Lady
-Denzil’s face as Sir Thomas read out these words to us. Sir Thomas took
-it quite calmly, and was rather pleased indeed that Mr. Reinhardt, by
-getting himself publicly thanked in the House of Commons, had justified
-the impulse which prompted himself, Sir Thomas Denzil, head as it were
-of society on the Green, to call upon him. But my lady laid her soft old
-hand on mine, and her eyes filled with tears. ‘Do not let us blame him,
-my dear,--do not let us blame him,’ she said to me when we were alone.
-She had known what temptation was.
-
-
-
-
-LADY ISABELLA
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-There was one house in our neighbourhood which was perfect and above
-criticism. I do not mean to say that it was a great house; but the very
-sight of it was enough to make you feel almost bitter if you were poor,
-and much pleased and approving if you were well-off. Naturally it was
-the very next house to Mrs. Merridew’s, who had heaps of children and a
-small income, and could not have things so very nice as might have been
-wished. Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella lived within sight of her, with
-but two holly-hedges between; the hedge on the side of the Merridews’
-house was bristly and untidy, but on the other side it was trimmed and
-clipped till it looked like a barrier-wall of dark green Utrecht velvet;
-and inside that inclosure everything was in perfection; the lawn was
-mown every other day; there was never an obtrusive daisy on it, and no
-fallen leaf presumed to lie for half an hour. The flower-beds which
-surrounded it were more brilliant than any I ever saw--not mere vulgar
-geraniums and calceolarias, but a continual variety, and always such
-masses of colour. Inside everything was just as perfect. They had such
-good servants, always the best trained of their class; such soft
-carpets, upon which no step ever sounded harsh; and Mrs. Spencer’s ferns
-were the wonder of the neighbourhood; and the flowers in the two
-drawing-rooms were always just at the point of perfection, with never a
-yellow leaf or a faded blossom. We poorer people sometimes tried to
-console ourselves by telling each other that such luxury was monotonous.
-‘Nothing ever grows and nothing ever fades,’ said Lottie Stoke, ‘but
-always one eternal beautifulness; I should not like it if it were I. I
-should like to watch them budding, and pick off the first faded leaves.’
-This Lottie said with confidence, though she was notoriously indifferent
-to such cares, and declared, on other occasions, that she could not be
-troubled with flowers, they required so much looking after; but poor
-little Janet Merridew used to shake her head and groan with an innocent
-envy that would bring the tears to her eyes; not that she wished to
-take anything from her neighbours, but she loved beautiful things so
-much, and they were so far out of her reach.
-
-Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella lived together in this beautiful house;
-they were two friends so intimately allied, that I was in the habit of
-saying they were more like man and wife than anything else. It was a
-wonder to us all at Dinglefield how they managed their money matters in
-respect to housekeeping. Many a little attempt I have seen to find this
-out, and heard many a speculation; whether the house was Mrs. Spencer’s,
-whether Lady Isabella only paid for her board, which of them was at the
-expense of the carriage, or whether they kept a rigid account of all
-their expenditure and divided it at the end of the year, as some
-thought--nobody could make out. When they first came to Dinglefield it
-was universally prophesied that it would not last. ‘Depend upon it,
-these arrangements never answer,’ was the opinion of old Mr. Lloyd, who
-was Mrs. Damerel’s father, and lived with them at the rectory. ‘They
-will quarrel in three months,’ the Admiral said, who was not very
-favourable to ladies. But when seven years had come and gone, Mrs.
-Spencer and Lady Isabella still lived together and had not quarrelled.
-By this time Lady Isabella, who was really quite young when they came,
-must have been nearly five-and-thirty, and people had made up their
-minds she would not marry now, so that the likelihood was, as it had
-lasted so long, it would last all their lives. They did not, at the
-first glance, look like people likely to suit each other. Mrs. Spencer
-was a woman overflowing with activity; she was thin, she could not have
-been anything else, so energetic was she, always in motion, setting
-everybody right. She was shortsighted, or said she was shortsighted, so
-far as the outer world was concerned, but in her own house, and in all
-that involved her own affairs, she had the eye of a lynx; nothing
-escaped her. It was she who kept everything in such beautiful order, and
-made the lawns and the flowers the wonder of the neighbourhood. Lady
-Isabella’s part was the passive one; she enjoyed it. She did not worry
-her friend by pretending to take any trouble. She was full ten years
-younger than Mrs. Spencer, inclining to be stout, pretty, but undeniably
-inactive. I am afraid she was a little indolent, or, perhaps, in such
-close and constant contact with her friend’s more active nature, Lady
-Isabella had found it expedient to seem more indolent than she was. She
-left all the burdens of life on Mrs. Spencer’s shoulders. Except the one
-habitual walk in the day, which it was said Mrs. Spencer compelled her
-to take, lest she should grow fat, we at Dinglefield only saw Lady
-Isabella in her favourite easy-chair in the drawing-room, or her
-favourite garden-bench on the lawn. Indolent--but not so perfectly
-good-tempered as indolent people usually are, and fond of saying sharp
-things without perhaps always considering the feelings of others. Indeed
-she seemed to live on such a pinnacle of ease and wealth and comfort,
-that she must have found it difficult to enter into the feelings of such
-as were harassed, or careworn, or poor. She had a way of begging
-everybody not to make a fuss when anything happened; and I am afraid
-most of us thought that a selfish regard for her own comfort lay at the
-bottom of this love of tranquillity. I don’t think now that we were
-quite right in our opinion of her. She had to go through a great deal of
-fuss whether she liked it or not; and I remember now that when she
-uttered her favourite sentiment she used to give a glance, half-comic,
-half-pathetic, to where Mrs. Spencer was. But she bore with Mrs.
-Spencer’s ‘ways’ as a wife bears with her husband. Mrs. Spencer had all
-the worry and trouble, such as it was. Plenty of money is a great
-sweetener of such cares; but still, to be sure, it was easy for Lady
-Isabella to sit and laugh and adjure everybody not to make a fuss, when
-she herself had no trouble about anything, never had even to scold a
-servant, or turn an unsatisfactory retainer away.
-
-We were never very intimate, they and I; but it happened, one autumn
-evening, that I went in to call rather out of the regular order of calls
-which we exchanged punctiliously. When I say we were not intimate, I
-only mean that there was no personal and individual attraction between
-us. Of course we knew each other very well, and met twice or thrice
-every week, as people do at Dinglefield. I had been calling upon Mrs.
-Merridew, and I cannot tell what fascination one found--coming out of
-that full house, which was as tidy as she could make it, but not, alas!
-as tidy as it might have been--in the next house, which was so wonderful
-a contrast, where the regions of mere tidiness were overpast, and good
-order had grown into beauty and grace. I suppose it was the contrast. I
-found myself going in at the other gate almost before I knew it; and
-there I found Lady Isabella alone, seated in the twilight, for it was
-growing dark, in her favourite corner, not very far from the fire. She
-was not doing anything; and as I went in, I fancied, to my great
-surprise, that something like the ghost of a sigh came to greet me just
-half a moment in advance of Lady Isabella’s laugh. She had a way of
-laughing, which was not disagreeable when one came to know her, though
-at first people were apt to think that she was laughing at them.
-
-‘Mrs. Spen is out,’ she said, ‘and I am quite fatigued, for I have been
-standing at my window watching the Merridew babies in their garden. They
-look like nice little fat puppies among the grass; but it must be damp
-for them at this time of the year.’
-
-‘Poor little things! there are so many of them that they get hardy; they
-are not used to being looked after very much. Some people’s children
-would be killed by it,’ said I.
-
-‘How lucky for the little Merridews that they are not those people’s
-children!’ said Lady Isabella; ‘and I think they must like it, for it is
-a great bore being looked after too much.’ As she spoke she leant back
-in her chair with something that sounded like another sigh. ‘I was
-rather fond of babies once,’ she added, with a laugh which quickly
-followed the sigh. ‘Absurd, was it not? but don’t say a word, or Mrs.
-Spen will turn me out.’
-
-‘It would take more than that to part you two,’ said I.
-
-‘Well, I suppose it would. I think sometimes it would take a great deal.
-Mrs. Mulgrave, do you know I have been turning it over in my mind
-whether I could ask you to do something for me or not? and I think I
-have decided that I will--that is not to say that you are to do it, you
-know, unless you please.’
-
-‘I think most likely I shall please--unless it is something very unlike
-you,’ said I.
-
-‘Well, it is unlike me,’ said Lady Isabella; and though I could not make
-out her face in the least, I felt sure, by the sound of her voice, and a
-certain movement she made, and an odd little laugh that accompanied her
-words, that she was blushing violently in the dark. ‘At least, it is
-very unlike anything you know of me. You might not think it, perhaps,’
-she went on, with again that little constrained laugh, ‘but do you know
-I was young once?’
-
-‘My dear, I think you are young still,’ said I.
-
-‘Oh dear, no; that is quite out of the question. When a woman is over
-thirty, she ought to give up all such ideas,’ said Lady Isabella, with
-an amount of explanatoriness which I did not understand; and she began
-to fold hems in her handkerchief in a nervous way. ‘When a woman is
-thirty, she may just as well be fifty at once for any difference it
-makes.’
-
-‘I don’t think even fifty is anything so very dreadful,’ said I. ‘One’s
-ideas change as one gets older; but twenty years make a wonderful
-difference, whatever you may think.’
-
-‘Perhaps, for some things,’ she said hastily. ‘And you must know, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, in that fabulous time when I was young other marvels existed.
-They always do in the fabulous period in all histories; and there was
-once somebody who was--or at least he said he was--in love with me.
-There, the murder is out,’ she said, pushing her chair a little further
-back into the dark corner; and, to my amazement, her voice was full of
-agitation, as if she had been telling me the secret of her life.
-
-‘My dear Lady Isabella,’ I said, ‘do you really expect me to be
-surprised at that?’
-
-‘Well, no, perhaps not,’ she said, with another laugh. ‘Not at the
-simple fact. They say every woman has such a thing happen to her some
-time in her life. Do you think that is true?’
-
-‘The people in the newspapers say it can’t be true,’ said I,
-‘now-a-days: though I don’t think I ever knew a woman who had not----’
-
-‘Mrs. Spen will be back directly,’ cried Lady Isabella, hastily, ‘and I
-don’t want her to know. I need not tell you that it all came to nothing,
-for you can see that; but, Mrs. Mulgrave, now comes the funny part of
-it. His regiment is coming to the barracks, and he will be within five
-miles of us. Is it not odd?’
-
-‘I don’t think it is at all odd,’ said I. ‘I dare say it is just in the
-natural order. If it will be painful to you to meet him, Lady
-Isabella----’
-
-‘That is the funniest of all,’ she said. ‘It will not be in the least
-painful to me to meet him. On the contrary, I want to meet him. It is
-very droll, but I do. I should so like to see what he looks like now,
-and if his temper is improved, and a hundred things. Besides, his sister
-used to be a great friend of mine; and when we broke it off I lost
-Augusta too. I want so much to know about her. Indeed, that is my chief
-reason,’ she went on faltering, ‘for wishing to meet him.’ The words
-were scarcely spoken when she burst into a little peal of laughter.
-‘What a stupid I am,’ she cried, ‘trying to take you in. No, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, let me be honest; it is not for Augusta I want to see him. I
-should so like just to make sure--you know--if I was a very great fool,
-or if he was worth thinking of after all. Now,’ with a little sigh,
-‘when one is perfectly dispassionate--and cool----’
-
-‘To be sure,’ said I, glad that it was dark, and she could not see me
-smile; ‘and now that we have settled all that, tell me what I am to do.’
-
-‘You are so very kind,’ she said; and then went off again in that
-agitated laugh. ‘I am betraying myself frightfully; but I am sure you
-will understand me, Mrs. Mulgrave, and not think anything absurd. You
-are sure to get acquainted with him, you know; and if you would ask him
-to the cottage--and ask us to meet him---- Good heavens! what a fool you
-must think me,’ she cried: ‘but I should like it, I confess.’
-
-‘But, my dear, I never give dinners,’ I said; ‘and to ask a man, a
-strange man, to tea----’
-
-‘He would be sure to come--to you,’ she said very quickly, as if her
-breath had failed her.
-
-‘But, my dear, you are just as likely as I am--more likely--to meet him
-at other houses. It would be impossible otherwise. Not that I should
-mind asking him--though it is so odd to ask a man to tea.’
-
-‘Hush!’ she said, suddenly leaning forward and grasping my arm. ‘Mrs.
-Spen has told Lady Denzil--she meant it for kindness--so we shall not be
-asked to meet him. And I do wish it, just for once. Hush, here she is
-coming. I don’t want her to know.’
-
-‘Then, my dear, I will do it,’ said I, grasping her hand. It trembled
-and was hot, and she grasped mine again in an agitated, impetuous way.
-Could this be Lady Isabella, who was always so calm and self-possessed?
-I was rather afraid of her in general, for she had the name of being
-satirical; and this was entirely a new light on her character. But just
-then Mrs. Spencer came in, and scolded us for sitting in the dark, and
-rang for lights; and then no more could be said.
-
-It was curious to look at the two when the lamp came. Mrs. Spencer
-seated herself on her side of the fire, like the husband coming in from
-his day’s work. She was a clever woman, but she was matter-of-fact, and
-notwithstanding the long years they had lived together, was never quite
-sure what was the meaning of her friend’s jibes and jests. It was this
-as much as anything that gave a sort of conjugal character to their
-relationship. Friends who were merely friends, and were so different,
-would, one was inclined to suppose, have got rid of each other years
-ago. But these two clung together in spite of all their differences, as
-if there were some bond between them which they had to make the best of.
-Mrs. Spencer began talking the moment she came in.
-
-‘I met Mrs. Damerel on the Green and she was asking for you, Isabella;
-in short, she was quite surprised to see me out alone. “I thought Lady
-Isabella always walked once a day at least,” she said. “And so she
-pretends to do,” said I. And I told her what I said to you before I went
-out about your health. Depend upon it your health will suffer. A young
-woman at your age getting into these chimney-corner ways! Mrs. Mulgrave,
-don’t you agree with me that it is very wrong?’
-
-‘Don’t scold me, please,’ said Lady Isabella, out of her corner; ‘if you
-both fall upon me, I am rather nervous to-night, and I know I shall
-cry.’
-
-At this Mrs. Spencer laughed; just as a husband would have done, taking
-it for the merest nonsense; yet somehow propitiated, for there was an
-inference of superior wisdom, importance, goodness on his--I mean
-her--part, such as mollifies the marital mind. No one could have been
-more utterly bewildered than she, had she known that what her friend
-said was literally true. Lady Isabella had drawn a little screen between
-her and the fire, which sheltered her also from the modest light of the
-lamp; and I felt by the sound of her voice, that though, no doubt, she
-could restrain herself, it would have been a relief to her to have shed
-the tears which made her eyes hot and painful. She would have laughed,
-probably, while she was shedding them, but that makes no difference.
-
-‘You don’t do enough, and Lady Denzil does too much,’ said Mrs. Spencer.
-‘She surprises _me_, and I think I am as active as most people. I can’t
-tell why she does it, I am sure. She is an old woman; it can’t be any
-pleasure to her. There is a dinner-party there to-night, and another on
-Saturday; and on Monday the dance for those young Fieldings that are
-staying there--enough to kill a stronger woman. But these little,
-fragile beings get through so much. She keeps up through it all and
-never looks a pin the worse.’
-
-‘Are you going there to-night?’ said I. I had scarcely said it when I
-saw a little flutter behind the screen, and felt it was a foolish
-question. But it was too late.
-
-‘No,’ said Mrs. Spencer, pointedly; and she looked straight at Lady
-Isabella’s screen with a distinctness of intimation that this abstinence
-was on her account, which would have puzzled me much but for the
-previous explanation I had had. Words would have been much less
-emphatic. She nodded her head a great many times, and she gave me a look
-which promised further information. She was fond of her companion, and I
-am sure would have sheltered her from pain at almost any cost to
-herself; but yet she enjoyed the mystery, and the story which lay below.
-‘All the officers from the barracks will be there,’ she added, after a
-pause. ‘There is a Captain Fielding, an empty-headed--but they are all
-empty-headed. I don’t care much about soldiers in an ordinary way, and I
-dislike guardsmen. So does Isabella.’
-
-And then there followed one of those embarrassing pauses which come
-against one’s will when there is any secret undercurrent which everybody
-knows and nobody mentions. Lady Isabella sat perfectly silent, and I,
-who ought to have come to the rescue,--I, after running wildly in my
-mind over every topic of conversation possible,--at last rose to take my
-leave, not finding anything to say.
-
-‘Are you going, Mrs. Mulgrave?’ said Lady Isabella. ‘I will go to the
-door with you. I must show you the new flowers in the hall.’
-
-‘Good gracious, something must be going to happen,’ said Mrs. Spencer,
-‘when Isabella volunteers to show you flowers. Don’t catch cold in the
-draught; but it is too dark: you can’t possibly see any colour in them
-now.’
-
-‘Never mind,’ said Lady Isabella in an undertone; and she hurried out
-leading the way,--a thing I had never seen her do before. She made no
-pretence about the flowers when we got out to the hall. It was quite
-dark, and of course I could see nothing. She grasped my hand in a
-nervous, agitated way. She was trembling,--she, who was always so steady
-and calm. It was partly from cold, to be sure, but then the cold was
-caused by emotion. ‘His name is Colonel Brentford,’ she whispered in my
-ear; and then ran up-stairs suddenly, leaving me to open the door for
-myself. I have received a great many confidences in my life, but seldom
-any so strange as this. I did not know whether to laugh or to be sorry,
-as I walked home thinking over it. Lady Isabella was the last person in
-the world to be involved in any romance; and yet this was romantic
-enough. And it was so difficult to make out how I could perform my part
-in it. Ask a guardsman, a strange colonel, a _man_, to tea! I could not
-but reflect how foolish I was, always undertaking things that were so
-difficult to perform. But I was pledged to do it, and I could not go
-back.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-I was to dine at Sir Thomas Denzil’s that same evening, and so no doubt
-would Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella have done, but for that obstacle
-which the elder lady had set up and in which the younger seemed
-determined to foil her. I dressed to go out, with my heart beating a
-little quicker than usual. For myself, as may be supposed, the officers
-from the barracks were not very much to me; but the undertaking with
-which I suddenly found myself burdened was very serious, and made me
-nervous in spite of myself; and then the man’s very name was strange to
-me. I thought over all my acquaintances, and everybody I had ever known;
-but I could not remember any one of the name of Brentford. There were
-the Brentwoods of Northam, and the Bentleys, and a great many names came
-up to my mind which sounded like it at the first glance; but I could not
-recollect a single Brentford among all my acquaintance. ‘I wonder who
-his mother was?’ I said to myself; for, to be sure, there might be a
-means of getting at him in that way; but it was impossible to find out
-at so short a notice. I almost felt as if I were a designing woman when
-I went into Lady Denzil’s drawing-room--and so I was, though I did not
-want to marry any of those unconscious warriors either personally or by
-proxy. Little did Lady Denzil suspect, as I went up to her--trying to
-look as innocent as possible--and little did the men of war think, of my
-evil projects, as they looked blandly at me, and set me down as that
-harmless and uninteresting being--an old lady. The one who took me in to
-dinner was an elderly, sober-looking, quiet gentleman. He was a Major
-Somebody, and I don’t think he was so fine as the others. I drew breath
-when I had seated myself under his wing. It was a comfort to me to have
-escaped the young ones, who never forgive you, when they have to take
-you in to dinner, for not being young and pretty. This was a man who had
-no pretensions above me--a man, probably, with a wife of his own and a
-large family, whom one could speak to freely and ask questions of. But
-before I would go so far, I made what private inspection I could. It was
-quite evident to me where the gap was which Mrs. Spencer and Lady
-Isabella ought to have filled. It had been hastily filled up by Lottie
-and Lucy Stoke, who were very much more to the taste of the guardsmen, I
-don’t doubt, than if they had been their own grandmothers, ladies of
-county influence and majesty. Lucy, whose blue eyes were dancing in her
-head with mingled fright and delight to find herself in such a grand
-party, sat by a handsome dark man, to whom my eyes returned a great many
-times. He looked the kind of man whom a woman might be faithful to for
-years. Could it be _him?_ He was amused with Lucy’s excitement and her
-fright; perhaps he was flattered by it as men so often are. After a
-little while, I could see he took great pains to make himself agreeable;
-and I felt quite angry and jealous, though I am sure I could not have
-told why.
-
-‘Perhaps you recognize him?’ my companion said to me, as he caught me
-watching this pair across the table. ‘He is one of the Elliots. His
-father had a place once in this neighbourhood. I am sure you must
-recollect his face.’
-
-‘No, indeed,’ said I, denying by instinct. ‘That gentleman opposite--is
-his name Elliot? I was looking at the young lady by him. She is a little
-friend of mine, and I am petrified to find her here. I did not think she
-was out.’
-
-‘That is why she likes it so well, I suppose,’ said the Major with a
-little sigh.
-
-‘I am afraid you don’t enjoy it much,’ said I. ‘Pray forgive me for
-being so very stupid. I should like to know which of these gentlemen is
-Colonel Brentford. I have heard his name--I should like to know which is
-he.’
-
-‘He is sitting beside Lady Denzil,’ said my companion shortly; and he
-said no more. His brevity startled me. I think Colonel Brentford from
-that moment began to lose in my opinion. I grew more and more frightened
-by the thought of what I had undertaken to do. I began to think it was a
-great pity Lady Isabella, a sensible woman, should waste a thought upon
-this soldier--and all for no reason in the world but that my Major
-announced curtly, ‘He is sitting beside Lady Denzil,’ without adding a
-word to say, ‘I like him,’ or ‘He is a very nice fellow,’ or anything
-agreeable. I concluded he must be a bear or a brute, or something
-utterly frivolous and uninteresting. It never occurred to me that it
-might be my Major and not the unknown Colonel who was to blame. And I
-had pledged myself to ask such a man as this to tea!
-
-We had gone back to the drawing-room before I got what I could call a
-good look at him; and then I was even more disappointed to find that he
-was as far from looking a brute or a bear as he was from looking a hero.
-There was nothing remarkable about him; he was neither handsome nor
-ugly; he was neither young nor old. He stood and talked a long time to
-Lady Denzil, and his voice was pleasant, but the talk was about
-nothing--it was neither stupid nor clever. He was a man of negatives it
-seemed. I was dreadfully disappointed for Lady Isabella’s sake. I could
-not help figuring to myself what her feelings would be. No doubt he had
-been young when they had known each other, and youth has often a
-deceiving glitter about it, which never comes to anything. Chance threw
-my Major in my way again at that advanced period of the evening. He said
-to me, ‘We have a long drive and the night is chilly, and I wish I could
-get my young fellows into motion. These proceedings don’t always agree
-with the taste of a man at my time of life; and my wife is always
-fidgety when I am out late--it is her way.’
-
-‘Mrs. Bellinger is not here to-night?’ I said.
-
-‘No, we are quite new to the place, and Lady Denzil has not had time to
-call yet: my wife, I am sure, would be delighted if you would go and see
-her. She is rather delicate, and far from her friends. Colonel Brentford
-is the only one----’ And here he stopped short with an abruptness that
-made me hate Colonel Brentford and repent my temerity more and more.
-
-‘I am so sorry you don’t seem to have a favourable opinion of him,’ I
-said; ‘not that I know him, but I have heard some friends of mine----
-Oh, I am sure you did not mean to say a word against him----’
-
-‘Against him!’ said the Major, stammering; ‘why, he is my best friend!
-He is the kindest fellow I know! He goes and sits with my wife when
-nobody else thinks of her. I don’t want to find fault with any one; but
-Brentford--he is the man I am most grateful to in all the world!’
-
-‘Oh, I beg your pardon!’ I cried. Good heavens! what a very bad manner
-the man must have had to give one such a false idea. ‘I shall do myself
-the pleasure of calling on Mrs. Bellinger early next week,’ I said;
-after all, it did not seem so insane to ask a man who was in the habit
-of going to sit with an invalid lady. And then a kind of inspiration
-stole into my mind. Afternoon tea! that was the thing; not an evening
-party, with all its horrors--which every man hates.
-
-I don’t know what Lady Denzil could think of me that evening; but I
-stayed until everybody had gone, with a determination to hear something
-more about him. I think she was surprised; but then she is one of those
-women who understand you, even when they don’t in the least know what
-you mean. That seems foolish, but it is quite true. She saw I had a
-motive, and she forgave me, though she was tired, and Sir Thomas looked
-surprised.
-
-‘The fly has never come back for me,’ I said. ‘I must ask you to let
-George walk across the Green with me. I have got my big shawl, and I
-don’t mind the cold.’
-
-‘Wait a little now they have all gone, and let us have a talk,’ said
-Lady Denzil. What a blessing it is to have to do with a woman who
-understands!
-
-‘Our new friends are very much like all the others, I think,’ said I.
-‘Captain Fielding seems nice. Is he brother or cousin to those pretty
-girls?’
-
-‘Brother, or I should not have him here,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘I have no
-confidence in cousins. Colonel Brentford looks sensible. I should not
-have thought him likely to do anything so foolish as that business you
-know. I suppose Mrs. Spencer must have told you.’
-
-‘No,’ I said, with a little thrill running through me; for, of course,
-it was something about Lady Isabella that was meant--and I was actually
-an agent employed in the matter, and knew, and yet did not know.
-
-‘Lady Isabella and he were once engaged to be married,’ said Lady
-Denzil, speaking low. ‘Don’t mention this, unless Mrs. Spencer tells
-you; but she is sure to tell you. And they quarrelled about some silly
-trifle. Mrs. Spencer says he flew into a passion, and that Lady Isabella
-had to give him up on account of his temper. He does not look like it,
-does he? Mrs. Spencer is most anxious that they should not meet.’
-
-‘Do you think it is right to prevent people meeting, if they wish it?’
-said I; ‘perhaps Lady Isabella might think differently.’
-
-‘It is best never to interfere,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘that is my
-principle--unless I am sure I can be of real use. Are you going now? You
-must wrap up well, for the night is rather cold.’
-
-‘So my Major thought,’ I said to myself, as I went across the Green; and
-I could not but smile at the thought of the poor gentleman buttoning up
-his great-coat as he drove with all those wild young fellows on their
-drag. Very likely he felt they might upset him at any moment driving
-through the dark--and it was a very dark night. My sympathies were much
-attracted by this good man. He had to give in to them a great deal, and
-put up with their foolish ways. I could not help wondering whether he
-had ever had such a commission given to him as mine; and then I
-reflected that Lady Isabella was not even young to be humoured and have
-her fancies given in to. The Colonel looked a sensible, commonplace sort
-of man, with whom nobody had any right to quarrel. And perhaps Mrs.
-Spencer was right in doing her utmost to keep them apart. Perhaps Mrs.
-Spencer was right; but then, on the other hand, Lady Isabella was old
-enough to know her own mind and decide for herself. Such were the
-various thoughts that passed through my mind as I took that little walk
-through the dark with George behind me. It was a perplexing business
-altogether. But that I should be mixed up in it! I could not but take
-myself to task, and ask myself what call had I to be thus mixed up with
-every sort of foolish business--a woman of my age?
-
-I saw Lady Isabella two days after. She came running in quite early,
-before luncheon, to my extreme surprise, and gave me a wistful look of
-inquiry which went to my very heart. She could not say anything however,
-for the Fielding girls were with me, talking of nothing but the dance
-which Lady Denzil was going to give for them. They assailed Lady
-Isabella directly, the moment she entered.
-
-‘Oh, why are not you coming on Monday? Oh, Lady Isabella, do change your
-mind and come. It will be such a pretty dance. And all the officers are
-coming, so that there will be no want of partners. Lady Denzil says she
-always asks more men than ladies. Oh, Lady Isabella, do come!’
-
-‘That is very wise of Lady Denzil,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘but I wonder
-how the extra men like it. No; I don’t think I shall go. I shall see
-all the officers, perhaps, another time.’ And with that she gave me
-another look which made me tremble, holding me to my word.
-
-‘Perhaps you don’t dance,’ said Emma Fielding. ‘Oh, it is such a pity
-you won’t come.’
-
-‘My husband won’t let me,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘and, by the by, she will
-be waiting for me now. I had something to ask, but never mind, another
-time will do.’
-
-She asked the question all the same with her eyes. She looked at me
-almost sternly, inquiring, as plainly as words, ‘Have you done it? Is my
-commission fulfilled?’ which I could only answer by a deprecating,
-humble look, begging her as it were to have patience with me. She shook
-her head slightly as she shook hands with me, and smiled, and then she
-sighed. That was the worst of all. I read a reproach in the sound of
-that sigh.
-
-‘What does she mean by her husband?’ said Edith Fielding. ‘Is she
-married, and does she call her husband “she”? Isn’t she very queer? That
-sort of person always bewilders me.’
-
-I could not help saying, ‘I dare say she does,’ with a certain
-irritation. As if it were within the bounds of possibility that
-creatures like these should understand Lady Isabella. And yet, alas! if
-she were entering into the lists with them, how could she ever stand
-against them? She, five-and-thirty, and a little stout; they, eighteen
-and nineteen. Is there a man in the world that would not turn to the
-young ones, and leave the mature woman? That was the question I asked
-myself. I don’t think I am cynical; I have not a bad opinion of my
-fellow-creatures in general; but still there are some matters which one
-knows beforehand. The first thing to be done however was to make
-acquaintance with Colonel Brentford as soon as possible. I had promised
-to go to the dance, to take Lottie and Lucy Stoke; but then he would be
-dancing; he would not want to stand in a corner and talk to an old woman
-like me. Lady Isabella, at five-and-thirty, had given up dancing; but
-this man, though he was nearly five years older, of course did not think
-of giving it up. Most likely he felt himself on the level of the
-Fieldings and Stokes and the other girls, not on that of his old love.
-Men and women are so different. But, at all events, I would do nothing
-before Monday: and in the meantime, I had promised to go and call on
-Major Bellinger’s invalid wife. There had been something about him that
-pleased me. Not that he was attractive; but he had the look of a man who
-was not always at his ease, who had cares and perplexities in his life,
-and perhaps could not always make both ends meet. I always recognize
-that look. I am not very rich now, and never will be; but I once was
-poor, quite poor, and I know the look of it, and it goes to my heart.
-
-Accordingly, the first day I was at liberty I drove into Royalborough to
-see Mrs. Bellinger. They were in a little house--one of the houses which
-people take for the purpose of letting them to the officers. It was
-opposite to a tall church, a three-storied house, with two rooms on each
-floor all the way up. There was a little oblong strip of garden in front
-and another oblong strip behind; and everything about it gave evidence
-that it was let furnished. But the little garden was rather pretty, and
-there was a virginian creeper hanging in rich red wreaths upon the
-walls. The drawing-room was the front room on the ground-floor. When I
-was shown in, it seemed to me that I interrupted the prettiest domestic
-scene. A lady, who looked very fragile and weak, though not ill, lay on
-a sofa in the room. Of course, she was Mrs. Bellinger. She was about
-forty, perhaps,--not much older than Lady Isabella. She had a lovely
-invalid complexion, a soft, delicate flush which came and went with
-every movement; her hair was beginning to get gray, and was partially
-covered by a cap. She looked very weak, very worn, very sweet and
-smiling, and cheerful. Near her, on a low chair, sat a gentleman with a
-book in his hand. He had been reading aloud, and had just stopped when I
-came to the door; and in front of him, at a little distance, seated on a
-stool, just by her mother’s feet, sat a girl of seventeen or so, with
-her head bent over her work. This was Edith, the Major’s favourite
-child, the only one at home. And the gentleman who had been reading
-aloud was Colonel Brentford, the man about whom my mind had been busy
-night and day.
-
-I took the chair that was given me, and I began to talk, but all the
-freedom and ease were taken out of me. I felt as if I had received a
-blow. Poor Lady Isabella! I had already perceived that to put herself in
-competition with the young girls would be a hopeless notion indeed; but
-it was no longer the girls in general, some of whom were empty-headed
-enough, but Edith Bellinger in particular. Poor Lady Isabella! If she
-saw him once like this, I said to myself, she would not wish to see him
-again!
-
-‘My husband told me you were going to be so good,’ said the invalid. ‘He
-told me how kind you had been, asking for me. I am really quite well for
-me, and I am sure I could do a great deal more if they would but let me.
-Hush, Edie! I am dreadfully petted and spoiled, Mrs. Mulgrave. They make
-a baby of me, and Colonel Brentford is so kind as to come and read----’
-
-‘It is very good of him, I am sure,’ I said mechanically; and then,
-without knowing what I was doing, I looked at Edith. She was quite
-unconscious of any meaning in my look. She smiled at me in return with
-all the sweet composure yet shyness of a child. Would he be equally
-unconscious? I raised my eyes and looked steadily at him. He bore my
-scrutiny very well indeed. I knew there was an angry flush on my face
-which I could not quite conceal, and an eager look of inquiry. It
-puzzled him, there was no doubt. A vague sort of wonder came into his
-eyes, and he smiled too. What could the old woman mean? I am sure he was
-thinking. Edith was very pretty, but then a great many girls are
-pretty. What was particular about her was her sweet look, which moved me
-even though I was so hostile to her. One saw she was ready to run
-anywhere, to do anything, at the least little glance from her mother.
-She was mending stockings--the homeliest work--and she looked such a
-serviceable, useful creature--so different from those Fielding girls,
-who thought of nothing but the dance. To be sure, the stockings and the
-useful look were much more likely to please me than to attract a
-guardsman; but I did not think of that in my sudden jealousy of her.
-Poor, poor Lady Isabella!
-
-And he did not go away, as he would have done had this been a chance
-visit. He kept his place, and joined in the conversation as if he
-belonged to the house. When I asked Mrs. Bellinger to come and see me,
-he seconded me quite eagerly. He was sure she was able, he said; while
-Edith put her pretty head on one side, and looked very wise and very
-doubtful.
-
-‘Oh, Colonel Brentford, please don’t be so rash--please don’t!’ said
-Edith. ‘It is very, very kind of Mrs. Mulgrave, but we must think it
-over first--we must indeed.’
-
-‘I will send my pony,’ said I; ‘he is the steadiest little fellow, and
-it is such a pretty drive. The weather is so mild that I am sure it
-would do you good.’
-
-‘Now, Edith, please let me go,’ said the invalid. ‘Do not be such a
-little hard-hearted inexorable--Colonel Brentford is the kindest of you
-all. He is ready to let me have a little indulgence, and so is the
-Major, Mrs. Mulgrave; but Edith is the most odious little tyrant----’
-
-‘Mamma dear, it is for your good,’ said Edith with the deepest gravity;
-and the mother and the friend looked at each other and laughed. How
-pretty it was to see her shaking her young head, looking so serious, so
-judicious, so full of care! ‘No wonder if he is fond of her,’ I said to
-myself. I felt my own heart melting; but, all the same, I steeled it
-against her, feeling that I was on the other side.
-
-‘And I am sure,’ I said with an effort--for it seemed almost like
-encouraging him--‘I shall be very glad to see Colonel Brentford too; if
-you will take the trouble to come so far for a cup of tea?’
-
-He said it would give him the greatest pleasure, with a cordiality that
-made me cross, and got up and took his leave, shaking hands with me in
-his friendliness. Why was he so friendly, I wonder? When he was gone,
-Mrs. Bellinger launched into his praises.
-
-‘You must not think it is only me he is good to,’ she said; ‘he is kind
-to everybody. People laugh at the guardsmen, and make fun of them; but
-if they only knew George Brentford! Because they see him everywhere in
-society, they think he is just as frivolous as the rest. But if they
-knew what kind of places he goes to when nobody sees him--as we do,
-Edith?’
-
-‘Yes, mamma,’ said Edith, as calm as any cabbage. The mother was quite
-moved by her gratitude and enthusiasm, but the daughter took it all very
-quietly. ‘He means to be very kind, but he is rash,’ said the little
-wise woman; ‘he gives the boys knives and things, though he knows they
-always cut themselves. He thinks so much more of pleasing people than of
-what is right. If Mrs. Mulgrave would leave it open, mamma dear, and
-then we could see how you are.’
-
-This was how it was finally decided; indeed, before I left, even after
-that first visit, I could see that things were generally decided as
-Edith thought best. They were to come on Saturday--the Saturday before
-the ball--if Mrs. Bellinger was well enough; and Colonel Brentford was
-to come too. I asked myself all the way back what Lady Isabella would
-think of the arrangement. That was not how she expected to meet him. She
-had wanted to see her old love--a man whom (I could not but feel) she
-had never quite put out of her heart--perhaps only to prove herself,
-perhaps to try if any lingerings of the old tenderness remained in him.
-And now that it was arranged, and she was really to see him, it was in
-company of a young bright creature who, there could be little doubt, was
-all to him that Lady Isabella had ever been. What a shock and bitter
-dispelling of all dreams for her! but yet, perhaps, to do that at once
-and at a blow was kindest after all.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-As I drove home, strangely enough, I met the ladies on their afternoon
-walk. Mrs. Spencer was in advance as usual, talking rapidly and with
-animation, while Lady Isabella lagged a step behind, pausing to look at
-the ripe brambles and the beautiful ruddy autumn leaves.
-
-‘Just look what a bit of colour,’ she was saying when I came up; but
-Mrs. Spencer’s mind, it was evident, was full of other things.
-
-‘I wonder how you can care for such nonsense,’ she said; ‘I never saw
-any one so unexcitable. After me fussing myself into a fever, to
-preserve you from this annoyance! and I knew it would be too much for
-you----’
-
-‘Hush!’ said Lady Isabella, emphatically, and then Mrs. Spencer
-perceived the pony carriage for the first time, and restrained herself.
-She changed her tone in a moment, and came up to me with her alert step
-when I drew the pony up.
-
-‘What a nice afternoon for a drive,’ she said; ‘have you been at
-Royalborough?--is there anything going on? I have dragged Isabella out
-for a walk, as usual much against her will.’
-
-‘I have been to make a call,’ I said, ‘on a poor invalid, the wife of
-Major Bellinger.’
-
-‘Oh, yes! I know, I know,’ said Mrs. Spencer; ‘he is to be the
-barrack-master. He rose from the ranks, I think, or something--very
-poor, and a large family. I know quite what sort of person she would be.
-The kind of woman that has been pretty, and has quite broken down with
-children and trouble--I know. It was very good of you; quite like
-yourself.’
-
-‘If it was very good of me, I have met with a speedy reward,’ said I,
-‘for I have quite fallen in love with her--and her daughter. They are
-coming to me on Saturday--if Mrs. Bellinger is able--for afternoon tea.’
-
-‘I know exactly the kind of person,’ said Mrs. Spencer, nodding her
-head. ‘Ah, my dear Mrs. Mulgrave, you are always so good, and so----’
-
-‘Easily taken in,’ she was going to say, but I suppose I looked very
-grave, for she stopped.
-
-‘Is the daughter pretty, too?’ said Lady Isabella: a flush had come upon
-her face, and she looked at me intently, waiting, I could see, for a
-sign. She understood that this had something to do with the commission
-she had given me. And I was so foolish as to think she had divined my
-thoughts, and had fixed upon Edith, by instinct, as an obstacle in her
-way.
-
-‘Never mind the daughter,’ I said hastily, ‘but do come on Saturday
-afternoon, and see if I am not justified in liking the mother. I dare
-say they are not very rich, but they are not unpleasantly poor, or, if
-they are, they don’t make a show of it; and a little society, I am sure,
-would do her all the good in the world.’
-
-This time Lady Isabella looked so intently at me, that I ventured to
-give the smallest little nod just to show her that I meant her to come.
-She took it up in a moment. Her face brightened all over. She made me a
-little gesture of thanks and satisfaction. And she put on instantly her
-old laughing, lively, satirical air.
-
-‘Of course we shall come,’ she said, ‘even if this lady were not sick
-and poor. These qualities are great temptations to us, you are aware;
-but even if she were just like other people we should come.’
-
-‘Well, Isabella!’ said Mrs. Spencer, ‘you who are so unwilling to go
-anywhere!’ but of course she could not help adding a civil acceptance of
-my invitation; and so that matter was settled more easily than I could
-have hoped.
-
-I saw them the next day--once more by accident. We were both calling at
-the same house, and Lady Isabella seized the opportunity to speak to me.
-She drew me apart into a corner, on pretence of showing me something.
-‘Look here,’ she said, with a flush on her face, ‘tell me, do you think
-me a fool--or worse? That is about my own opinion of myself.’
-
-‘No,’ I said, ‘indeed I don’t. I think you are doing what is quite
-right. This is not a matter which concerns other people, that you should
-be guided by them, but yourself.’
-
-‘Oh, it does not concern any one very much,’ she said, with a forced
-laugh. ‘I am not so foolish as to think _that_. It is a mere piece of
-curiosity--folly. The fact is, one does not grow wise as one grows old,
-though of course one ought. And--he is--really to be there on Saturday?
-Despise me, laugh at me, make fun of me!--I deserve it, I know.’
-
-‘He is really to come--I hope.’ I said it faltering, with a sense of
-fright at my own temerity: and Lady Isabella gave me a doubtful,
-half-suspicious look as she left me. Now that it had come so near I grew
-alarmed, and doubted much whether I should have meddled. It is very
-troublesome having to do with other people’s affairs. It spoiled my rest
-that night, and my comfort all day. I almost prayed that Saturday might
-be wet, that Mrs. Bellinger might not be able to come. But, alas!
-Saturday morning was the brightest, loveliest autumn morning, all
-wrapped in a lovely golden haze, warm and soft as summer, yet subdued
-and chastened and sweet as summer in its heyday never is: and the first
-post brought me a note from Edith, saying that her mamma felt so well,
-and was so anxious to come. Accordingly, I had to make up my mind to it.
-I sent the pony carriage off by twelve o’clock, that the pony might have
-a rest before he came back, and I got out my best china, and had my
-little lawn carefully swept clean of faded leaves, and my flower-beds
-trimmed a little. They were rather untidy with the mignonette, which had
-begun to grow bushy, but then it was very sweet; and the asters and red
-geraniums looked quite gay and bright. My monthly rose, too, was covered
-with flowers. I am very fond of monthly roses; they are so sweet and so
-pathetic in autumn, remonstrating always, and wondering why summer
-should be past; or at least that is the impression they convey to me. I
-know some women who are just like them, women who have a great deal to
-bear, and cannot help feeling surprised that so much should be laid upon
-them; yet who keep on flowering and blossoming in spite of all,
-brightening the world and keeping the air sweet, not for any reason, but
-because they can’t help it. My visitor who was coming was, I think,
-something of that kind.
-
-The first of the party to arrive were Major Bellinger and Colonel
-Brentford; they had walked over, and the Major was very eloquent about
-my kindness to his wife. ‘Nothing could possibly do her so much good,’
-he said. ‘I don’t know how to thank you, Mrs. Mulgrave. Brentford says
-he made up his mind she must go the very first minute, whether she could
-or not--he said he was so sure you would do her good.’
-
-‘I am very glad Colonel Brentford had such a favourable opinion of me,’
-I said.
-
-Then I stopped short, feeling very much embarrassed. If Lady Isabella
-had only come in _then_, before the ladies arrived--but, of course, she
-did not. She came only after Mrs. Bellinger was established on the sofa,
-and Edith had taken off her hat. They looked quite a family party, I
-could not but feel. Colonel Brentford, probably, was very nearly as old
-as the Major himself, and quite as old as the Major’s wife; but then he
-had the unmarried look which of itself seems a kind of guarantee of
-youth, and his face was quite free of that cloud of care which was more
-or less upon both their faces. He was standing outside the open window
-with Edith when Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella came in. He did not see
-them. He was getting some of the monthly roses for her, which were high
-up upon the verandah. It was so high that it was very seldom we were
-able to get the flowers; but he was a tall man, and he managed it. Lady
-Isabella perceived him at once, and I saw a little shiver run over her.
-She gave Mrs. Bellinger, poor soul, but a very stiff salutation, and sat
-down on a chair near the window. She did not notice the girl. She had
-not thought of Edith, and no sort of suspicion as yet had been roused in
-her. She sat down quietly, and waited until he should come in.
-
-How strange it was!--all bright full sunshine, no shadow or mystery to
-favour the romance; the Bellingers and Mrs. Spencer talking in the most
-ordinary way; the Colonel outside, pulling down the branch of pale
-roses; and Edith smiling, shaking off some dewdrops that had fallen from
-them upon her pretty hair. All so ordinary, so calm, so peaceable--but
-Lady Isabella seated there, silent, waiting--and I looking on with a
-chill at my very heart. He was a long time before he came in--talking to
-Edith was pleasant out in that verandah, with all the brilliant sunshine
-about, and the russet trees so sweet in the afternoon haze.
-
-‘You shall have some,’ he said; ‘but we must give some to your mother
-first.’
-
-And then he came in with the branch in his hand. I don’t know whether
-some sense of suppressed excitement in the air struck him as he paused
-in the window, but he did stand still there, and looked round him with
-an inquiring look. He had not left so many people in the room as were in
-it now, and he was surprised. He looked at me, and then I suppose my
-agitated glance directed him, in spite of myself, to Lady Isabella. He
-gave a perceptible start when he saw her, and smothered an exclamation.
-He recognized her instantly. His face flushed, and the branch of roses
-in his hand trembled. All this took place quite unobserved by anybody
-but me, and, perhaps, Edith, outside the window, who was coming in after
-him, and now stood on tiptoe, trying to see what was going on and
-wondering. Lady Isabella looked up at him with a face so uncertain in
-its expression that my terror was great. Was she angry? Was she going to
-betray herself, and show the nervous irritability which possessed her?
-She was very pale--white to her lips; and he so flushed and startled.
-She looked up at him, and then her lips parted and she smiled.
-
-‘I think _I_ should like one of the roses,’ she said.
-
-Colonel Brentford did not say a word. He made her a bow, and with a
-trembling hand (how it did tremble!--it made me shake with sympathy to
-see it) he detached a spray from the great branch, which was all pink
-with roses, and gave it to her; and then he went away into the furthest
-corner, throwing down his roses on a table as he passed, and stared out
-of the window. To him the meeting was quite unexpected, I
-suppose--something utterly startling and sudden. The talk went on all
-the same. Edith, surprised, came in, and stood with her back to the open
-window, looking after him in a state of bewilderment. He had gone in
-smiling, to give her mother the flowers; and now he was standing with
-his back to us, the flowers cast down anywhere. As for Lady Isabella,
-she had buried her face in her roses, and sat quite silent, taking no
-notice of any one. Such was this meeting, which I had brought about. And
-all the time I had to talk to Major Bellinger, and look as if I were
-attending to what he said.
-
-‘Does Edith sing?’ I asked in desperation. ‘I am so glad! Do sing us
-something, my dear--oh, anything--and the simpler the better. How nice
-it is of you not to want your music! My piano is not in very good order,
-I play so seldom now; but it will not matter much to your young fresh
-voice.’
-
-I said this, not knowing what I was saying, and hurried her to the
-piano, thinking, if she sang ever so badly, it still would be a blessed
-relief amid all this agitation and excitement.
-
-‘I only sing to mamma,’ said Edith. ‘I will try if you wish it; but papa
-does not care for my singing--and Colonel Brentford hates it,’ she
-added, raising her voice.
-
-There was a little spite, a little pique, in what Edith said. She was
-confounded by his sudden withdrawal, and anxious to call him back and
-punish him. This however was not the effect her words produced. Colonel
-Brentford took no notice, and kept his back towards us; but on another
-member of our little company the effect was startling enough.
-
-‘Colonel Brentford!’ said Mrs. Spencer with a little shriek; and her
-nice comfortable commonplace talk with Mrs. Bellinger came to an end at
-once. She got up and came to me, and drew me into another corner. ‘For
-Heaven’s sake,’ she said, ‘tell me, what did the girl mean? Colonel
-Brentford! He is the one man in all the world whom we must not meet.
-That is not him surely at the window? Oh, good heavens! what is to be
-done? I wanted to tell you, but I never had an opportunity. Mrs.
-Mulgrave, he was once engaged to Isabella. They had a quarrel, and it
-nearly cost her her life. I think I would almost have given mine to
-preserve her from this trial. Has she seen him?--Oh, my poor dear! my
-poor dear!’
-
-Let anybody imagine what was the scene presented in my drawing-room now.
-Colonel Brentford at the other end, with his back to us all, gazing out
-at the window: Major Bellinger at one side of the room, and his wife at
-the other, suddenly deserted by the people they had been respectively
-talking to, looking across at each other with raised eyebrows and
-questioning looks. Edith, confused and half-offended, stood before the
-closed piano, where I had led her; and Mrs. Spencer holding me by the
-arm in the opposite corner to that occupied by Colonel Brentford, was
-discoursing close to my ear with excited looks and voluble utterance.
-And these people were strangers to me, not like familiar friends, who
-could wait for an explanation. I could only whisper in Mrs. Spencer’s
-ear, ‘For heaven’s sake, do not let us make a scene now--let us keep
-everything as quiet as possible now!’
-
-Just then Lady Isabella suddenly rose from her seat, and sat down beside
-Mrs. Bellinger, and began to talk to her. I could not quite hear how she
-began, but I made out by instinct, I suppose, what she was saying:
-
-‘I cannot ask Mrs. Mulgrave to introduce me, for I see she is occupied;
-but I know who you are, and you must let me introduce myself. I am Lady
-Isabella Morton, and I live here with a great friend of mine. Colonel
-Brentford and I used to know each other long ago----’
-
-‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Bellinger, drawing her breath quickly; ‘I think I have
-heard----’
-
-‘He was startled to see me,’ said Lady Isabella. ‘Of course, he did not
-expect--but we are always meeting people we don’t expect. Your daughter
-is going to sing. Hush! please hush! I want to hear it,’ she cried,
-raising her hand with a little sign to the Major, who looked as though
-he might be going to talk. Every word she said was audible through the
-room, her voice was so clear and full.
-
-Colonel Brentford turned round slowly. He turned almost as if he were a
-man upon a pedestal, which some pivot had the power to move. Either it
-was her voice which attracted him, or he had heard what she said, or
-perhaps he was recovering from the shock of the first meeting.
-
-It was at this moment that Edith began to sing. I do not know what her
-feelings were, or if she cared anything about it; but certainly all the
-rest of the party, with the exception of her father and mother, were
-excited to such a strange degree, that I felt as if some positive
-explosion must occur. How is it that fire and air, and all sorts of
-senseless things, cause explosions, and that human feeling does not?
-Edith’s girlish, fresh voice, rising out of the midst of all this
-electrified one. It was a pretty voice singing one of the ordinary
-foolish songs, which are all alike--a voice without the least passion or
-even sentiment in it, sweet, fresh, guiltless of any feeling. Lady
-Isabella leaned back in her chair, and listened with a faint smile upon
-her face; Colonel Brentford stood undecided between her and the piano,
-sometimes making a half-movement towards the singer, but turning his
-eyes the other way; while Mrs. Spencer, on the other side of the room,
-sat with her hands clasped, and gazed at her friend. The two Bellingers
-listened as people listen to the singing of their child; a soft little
-complacent smile was on the mother’s face. When Edith approached a
-false note, or when she was a little out in her time, Mrs. Bellinger
-gave a quick glance round to see if anybody noticed it, and blushed, as
-it were, under her breath. The Major kept time softly with his finger;
-and we--listened with our hearts thumping in our ears, bewildered by the
-pleasant little song in its inconceivable calm, and yet glad of the
-moment’s breathing time.
-
-‘Thank you, my dear,’ said I, when the song was done; and we all said
-‘Thanks’ with more or less fervour, while the parents, innocent people,
-looked on well pleased.
-
-And then I went to Edith at the piano, and asked all about her music,
-what masters she had had, and a thousand other trifles, not hearing what
-she answered me. But I did hear something else. I heard Colonel
-Brentford speak to Lady Isabella, and took in every word. There was
-nothing remarkable about it; but he spoke low, as if his words meant
-more than met the ear.
-
-‘I knew you were living here,’ was all he said.
-
-‘Oh, I suppose so,’ said Lady Isabella. She had been quite calm before,
-but I knew by her voice she was flurried now. And then there followed
-that little agitated laugh, which in the last few days I had learnt to
-know. ‘Most people know where everybody lives,’ she added, with an
-attempt at indifference. ‘I too knew that your regiment was here.’
-
-‘But I did not expect to see you just then,’ he went on. ‘And that
-rose---- Pardon me if I was rude. I was taken altogether by surprise.’
-
-‘That I should ask you for a rose?’ she said, holding it up. ‘It is but
-a poor little thing, as these late flowers always are. Not much scent,
-and less colour, but sweet, because it is over--almost a thing of the
-past.’
-
-‘I was taken altogether by surprise,’ said Colonel Brentford.
-
-He did not make any reply to her. He was not clever, as she was. He
-repeated his little phrase of confused no-meaning, and his voice
-trembled. And while he was saying all this, Edith was telling me that
-she had had a few--only a very few--lessons from Herrmannstadt, but her
-mamma hoped that if they stayed at Royalborough, she might be able to
-have some from Dr. Delvey or Miss de la Pluie.
-
-‘If, my dear?’ said I. ‘I thought it was quite settled that you were to
-stay!’ And then her answer became unintelligible to me; for my ears were
-intent upon what was going on behind us, and instead of listening to
-Edith, I heard only Colonel Brentford’s feet shuffling uneasily upon the
-carpet, and Mrs. Spencer asking Lady Isabella if she did not think it
-was time to go.
-
-‘But you have not had any tea,’ said I, rushing to the front: though,
-indeed, I was not at all sure that I wished them to stay.
-
-‘We never take any tea,’ said Mrs. Spencer, unblushingly; though she
-knew that I knew she was the greatest afternoon tea-drinker in all
-Dinglefield; ‘and we have to call upon old Mrs. Lloyd, who is quite ill.
-Did you know she was ill? We must not neglect the sick and the old, you
-know, even for the pleasantest society. Isabella, my dear!’
-
-Colonel Brentford went after us to the door. He looked at them
-wistfully, watching their movements, until he saw that Mrs. Spencer had
-a cloak over her arm. Then he came forward with a certain heavy
-alacrity.
-
-‘Let me carry it for you,’ he said.
-
-‘Oh, thanks! We are not going far; don’t take the trouble. I would not
-for the world take you from your friends,’ cried Mrs. Spencer wildly.
-
-‘It is no trouble, if you will let me,’ he said.
-
-He had taken the cloak out of her astonished hand, and Lady Isabella, in
-the meantime, with a smile on her face, had walked on in advance. Even
-I, though I felt so much agitated that I could have cried, could not but
-laugh to see Mrs. Spencer’s look of utter discomfiture as she turned
-from my door, attended by this man whom she so feared. I stood and
-watched them as they went away, with a mingled feeling of relief and
-anxiety and wonder. Thus it was over. Was it over? Could this be a
-beginning or an end?
-
-When I went back to the Bellingers they were consulting together, and I
-fear were not quite well pleased. The Major and his daughter drew back
-as I entered, but I saw it on their faces.
-
-‘I hope you will pardon me,’ I said, ‘for leaving you alone. My friends
-are gone, and Colonel Brentford has kindly walked with them to carry
-something. Now I know you must want some tea.’
-
-‘Indeed, mamma is a great deal too tired,’ said Edith, who naturally was
-most nettled, ‘I am sure we ought to go home.’
-
-‘I think she is over-tired,’ said the Major doubtfully.
-
-He did not want to be dragged away so suddenly; but yet he was a little
-surprised. Mrs. Bellinger, for her part, did not say anything, but she
-looked pale, and my heart smote me. And then there appeared a line of
-anxiety, which I had not noticed before, between her eyes.
-
-‘It is only that she wants some tea,’ said I; and the Stokes coming in
-at the moment, to my infinite satisfaction, made a diversion, and
-brought things back to the ordinary channel of talk. And then they
-challenged the Major and Edith to croquet, for which all the hoops and
-things were set out on the lawn. Mrs. Bellinger and I began to talk when
-they went away: and presently Colonel Brentford came back and sat
-silently by us for five minutes--then went out to the croquet-players. A
-little silence fell upon us, as the sound of the voices grew merrier
-outside. It may be thought a stupid game now-a-days, but it is pretty to
-look at, when one is safe and out of it; and we two ladies sat in the
-cool room and watched the players, no doubt with grave thoughts enough.
-Colonel Brentford took Edith in hand at once. He showed her how to
-play, advised her, followed her, was always by her side. What did it
-mean? Was he glad that his old love had passed away like a dream, and
-left him free to indulge in this new one--to throw himself into this
-younger, brighter existence? Neither of us spoke, and I wondered whether
-we were both busy with the same thought.
-
-At length Mrs. Bellinger broke the silence.
-
-‘I feel so anxious about our Colonel,’ she said; ‘he is so good and so
-nice. And your friends came by chance, quite by chance, Mrs. Mulgrave?
-How strange it is? Do you know that there was once---- But of course you
-know. Oh, I hope this meeting will be for good, and not for harm.’
-
-‘For harm!’ I said, with words that did not quite express my thoughts.
-‘They are both staid, sober people, not likely to go back to any
-youthful nonsense. How could it do harm?’
-
-Mrs. Bellinger shook her head. There was a cloud upon her face.
-
-‘We shall see in time,’ she said, in a melancholy, prophetic way, and
-sighed again.
-
-To whom could it be that she apprehended harm? Not to Lady Isabella,
-whom she did not know. Was it to the child then, or to _him_?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-Next day I had a number of visitors. Mrs. Spencer had made it so well
-known in Dinglefield that nobody was to invite Lady Isabella to meet the
-new officers, that my unexampled temerity startled the whole
-neighbourhood. ‘Of course they have met, notwithstanding all our
-precautions--and fancy, at Mrs. Mulgrave’s! She was almost the only
-person Mrs. Spencer had not told,’ my neighbours said; for the place is
-so small, that of course everybody knows what everybody else is doing on
-the Green. The Stokes were the first to call, and they were full of it.
-
-‘Fancy not telling us that Lady Isabella had been here?’ cried Lottie.
-‘You must have known there was something, or you would have told us. And
-what did you mean by it? Did you think they ought to have another
-chance; or did you think----? Oh, I do so wish you would tell me what
-you meant!’
-
-‘Another chance, indeed!’ said Lucy. ‘As if Colonel Brentford--a
-handsome man, and just a nice age--would look twice at that old thing!’
-
-‘He is a good deal older than the old thing,’ said I; ‘and it is a poor
-account of both men and women, Lucy, if everything is to give way to
-mere youth. You yourself will not be seventeen always. You should
-remember that.’
-
-‘Well, but then I shall be married,’ said Lucy; ‘and I sha’n’t mind if
-nobody pays me any attention. I shall have my husband and my children of
-course; but an old maid----’
-
-‘Be quiet, Lucy,’ said her sister angrily. ‘If you girls only knew how
-to hold your tongues, then you might have a chance; but please tell me,
-Mrs. Mulgrave--you won’t say you did not mean anything, for of course
-you knew----?’
-
-‘I don’t intend to say anything about it, my dear; and here is Mrs.
-Spencer coming, if you would like to make any further inquiries,’ I
-said. I was quite glad to see her, to get rid of their questionings.
-Mrs. Spencer was very much flurried and disturbed, out of breath both of
-mind and body.
-
-‘Oh, my dear Mrs. Mulgrave, what an unfortunate business!’ she said, the
-moment the girls were gone. ‘I have nobody but myself to blame, for I
-never told you. I thought as you did not give many parties--and then I
-know you don’t care much for those dancing sort of men: and how was I to
-suppose he would be thrown upon your hands like this? It has upset me
-so,’ she said, turning to me, with her eyes full of tears; ‘I have not
-slept all night.’
-
-Her distress was a great deal too genuine to be smiled at. ‘I am so
-sorry,’ I said; ‘but, after all, I do not think it is serious. It did
-not seem to disturb her much.’
-
-‘Ah, that is because she does not show it,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘She is
-so unselfish. You might stab her to the heart and she would never say a
-word, if there was any one near who could be made unhappy by it. She
-would not let _me_ see, for she knows it would make me wretched. And I
-_am_ quite wretched about her. If this were to bring up old feelings!
-And you know she nearly died of it--at the time.’
-
-The tears came dropping down on poor Mrs. Spencer’s thin nose. It was
-too thin, almost sharp in outline, but such tears softened all its
-asperity away. I could not help thinking of those dreadful French
-proverbs, which are so remorseless and yet so true; about ‘_l’un qui
-aime, et l’autre qui se laisse aimer_;’ about ‘_l’un qui baise et
-l’autre qui tend la joue_.’ Is it always so in this world? I could have
-beaten myself for having interfered at all in the matter. Why should
-anybody ever interfere? Life is hard enough without any assistance to
-make it worse.
-
-Lady Isabella herself came in late, when, fortunately, I was alone; and
-she was in a very different mood. She came in, and gave a curious,
-humorous glance round the room, and then sat down in the chair by the
-window, where she had sat the day before, and asked Colonel Brentford
-for that rose.
-
-‘Is it possible it has been and is over,’ she said, in her mocking way;
-‘that great, wonderful event, to which I looked forward so much? It
-happened just here: and yet the place is exactly the same. How funny it
-is when one remembers that it has happened, and yet feels one’s self
-exactly like what one was before----’
-
-‘You are not sorry, then?’ I cried, not knowing what to say.
-
-‘Sorry? oh, no,’ she said with momentary fervour: and then blushed
-scarlet. ‘On the contrary, I am very glad. It proved to me---- I got
-all I wanted. I am quite pleased with myself. I can’t have been such a
-fool after all; for--he is not clever, you know--but he is a man a woman
-need not be ashamed to have been in love with: and that is saying a
-great deal.’
-
-‘And is it only a “have been?”’ said I; for after all when one had taken
-so much trouble it was hard that nothing should come of it. I felt as if
-I had taken a great deal of trouble, and all in vain.
-
-‘Indeed, I should hope so!’ cried Lady Isabella, getting up and drawing
-her shawl round her hastily. ‘You surely did not think that I meant
-anything more. I am in a great hurry, I have only a few minutes to
-spare; and thanks to you, good friend, I have had my whim, and I am
-satisfied. I don’t feel at all ashamed of having been fond of
-him--once.’
-
-And with these words she ran away, silencing all questions. Was this
-indeed all? Was it a mere whim? To tell the truth, when I tried to put
-myself in her position, it seemed to me much wiser of Lady Isabella to
-let it end so. She was very well off and comfortable: she had come to an
-age when one likes to have one’s own way, and does not care to adopt the
-habits of others; and what an immense _bouleversement_ it would make if
-she should marry and break up that pleasant house, and throw herself
-upon the chances of married life, abandoning Mrs. Spencer, who was as
-good as married to her, and who, no doubt, calculated on her society all
-her life. I said to myself--if I were Lady Isabella! And then there was
-the great chance, the almost certainty that he would never attempt to
-carry it any farther. He was a young-looking man, and no doubt (though
-it is very odd to me how they can do it) he felt himself rather on the
-level of a girl of twenty than of a woman of thirty-five. He had been a
-good deal startled and touched by the meeting, which was not wonderful:
-but he had returned to Edith’s side all the same; and, no doubt, that
-was where he would stay. Edith was very young, and her parents were
-poor, and the best thing for her would be to marry a man who was able to
-take care of her, and make her very comfortable, and to whom, in return,
-she would be entirely devoted. Edith could consent to be swallowed up in
-him altogether, and to have no life but that of her husband; and except
-by means of a husband who was well off the poor child never was likely
-to do anything for herself or her family, but would have to live a life
-of hard struggling with poverty and premature acquaintance with care.
-This was of course the point of view from which the matter should be
-regarded. To Lady Isabella Colonel Brentford’s means or position were
-unnecessary. She was very well off, very fully established in the world
-without him. And she could not be swallowed up in him, and renounce
-everything that was her own to become his wife. She was an independent
-being, with a great many independent ways and habits. It was better for
-him, better for her, better for Edith that nothing should come of this
-meeting; and yet--how foolish one is about such matters: what vain
-fancies come into one’s head!
-
-Everything sank into its ordinary calm however from that day. I did not
-see Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella for a week after, and then they were
-exactly as they had always been. Lady Isabella made no remark to me of
-any kind on the subject, but Mrs. Spencer took me aside to give me her
-opinion. ‘I am so glad to tell you,’ she said, ‘that your little
-inadvertence has done no harm. Oh, I forgot: it was not an inadvertence
-on your part, but my own fault for not telling you. It has done no harm,
-I am so glad to say. Isabella seems to have quite settled down again. I
-don’t believe she has given him another thought. Of course it was a
-shock just at the moment. But you must not blame yourself, indeed you
-must not. Probably she would have met him somewhere sooner or later. I
-really feel quite glad that it is over; and it has done her no harm.’
-
-This was all I gained by my exertions; and I made a resolution that I
-would certainly never be persuaded to do anything of the kind again.
-For, indeed, it had complicated my relations with various people. What
-could I do, for instance, about the Bellingers? In the meantime I simply
-dropped them, after having rushed into such an appearance of intimacy.
-If anybody else had done it, I should have been indignant; but how could
-I help myself? I could not have Edith in my house and see him wooing
-her, after having taken such an interest in the other side. I could not
-insult Lady Isabella by letting that go on under her very eyes. And
-though I wondered sometimes what the respectable Major would think, and
-whether poor dear Mrs. Bellinger would be wounded, I had not the
-fortitude to continue the acquaintance. I simply dropped them: it was
-the only thing I could do.
-
-And then the winter came on all at once, which was a sort of excuse.
-There was a week or two of very bad weather and I caught cold, and was
-very glad of it, for, of course, nobody could expect me to drive to
-Royalborough in my little open carriage with a bad cold, through the
-rain and wind. A very dreary interval of dead quiet to me, and miserable
-weather, followed this little burst of excitement. I felt sore about it
-altogether, as a matter in which I had somehow been to blame, and which
-was a complete failure--to say the least. One day when I had been out
-for half an hour’s walk in the middle of the day, Colonel Brentford
-called; but the card which I found on my table was the only
-enlightenment this brought me, and my cold kept me away from all the
-society on the Green for six weeks, during which time I had no
-information on the subject. Sometimes, as usual, I saw Lady Isabella,
-but there was no change in her. She had quite settled down again, was
-the same as ever, and Mrs. Spencer had ceased to keep any watch upon
-her. And so it was all over, as a tale that is told.
-
-The first time I was out after my influenza was at Lady Denzil’s,
-where, to my surprise, I found Edith Bellinger. She scarcely looked at
-me, and it was with some difficulty I got our slender thread of
-acquaintance renewed. Her mother, she thanked me, was better; her father
-was quite well; they had been sorry to hear of my cold; yes, of course
-it was a long way to drive. Such was the fashion of Edith’s talk; and I
-acknowledged to myself that it was perfectly just.
-
-‘Your mamma must think it very strange that I have never gone to see her
-again,’ I was beginning to say, feeling uncomfortable and guilty.
-
-‘I don’t suppose she has thought about it,’ Edith said hastily; and then
-she stopped short and blushed. ‘I beg your pardon, I did not mean to be
-rude.’
-
-‘You are quite right,’ I said--‘not in being rude, but in feeling as you
-do. I seem to have been very capricious and unfriendly; but I have been
-ill; and you do not look quite so well yourself as when I saw you last.’
-
-‘Oh, I am well enough,’ said the girl; and then those quick youthful
-tears of self-compassion which lie so near the surface came rushing to
-her eyes. ‘It is nothing, I--I am not very strong; and Lady Denzil, who
-is always kind, has asked me here for change of air.’
-
-‘Poor child,’ I said, ‘tell me what is the matter?’ But I was not to
-learn at this moment at least. Colonel Brentford, whom I had not seen
-till now, came forward and bent over her.
-
-‘They are going to sing something, and they want you to take a part. I
-have come for you,’ he said.
-
-He looked down upon her quite tenderly, and held out his hand to help
-her to rise. Yes, of course, that was how it must have ended. It was all
-settled, of that I could have no doubt. I looked at them with, I fear, a
-look that had some pain and some pity in it, as they left me; and when I
-withdrew my eyes from them, my look met Lady Isabella’s, who was seated
-at the other side of the room. She had her usual half-mocking,
-half-kindly smile on her lips, but it looked to me set and immovable, as
-if she had been painted so and could not change; and she was
-pale--surely she was pale. It troubled me sadly, and all the more that I
-dared not say a word to any one, dared not even make any manifestation
-of sympathy to herself. She had chosen to renew her old acquaintance
-with him, had chosen to break down the barrier which sympathizing
-friends had raised round her, and to meet him with all freedom as if he
-were totally indifferent to her. This had been her own choice; and now,
-to be sure, she had to look on, and see all there might be to be seen.
-
-But he was very civil to me when he chanced to be thrown near me. He
-said, in a much more friendly tone than poor Edith’s, that Mrs.
-Bellinger had been sorry to hear of my cold; that he hoped I should soon
-be able to go and see her; and when I said that Edith did not look
-strong, he shook his head. ‘She is rather wilful, and does not know her
-own mind,’ he said, and I thought he sighed. Was it that she could not
-make up her mind to accept him? Was it---- But speculation was quite
-useless, and there was no information to be got out of his face.
-
-A little after this I went to see Mrs. Bellinger, but was coldly
-received. Edith was not quite well, she said; she had been doing too
-much, and had gone away for a thorough change. Colonel Brentford? Oh, he
-had gone to visit his brother Sir Charles Brentford, in Devonshire.
-Edith was in Devonshire, too--at Torquay.
-
-‘They are a little afraid of her lungs,’ Mrs. Bellinger said. ‘Oh, not
-I; I don’t think there is very much the matter; but still they are
-afraid--and of course it is better to prevent than to cure.’
-
-It seemed to me a heartless way for a mother to speak, and I was
-discouraged by my reception. When I came away I made up my mind not to
-take any further trouble about the matter. Perhaps I had been mistaken
-in them at first, or perhaps---- but then, to be sure, I had another
-motive, and that existed no longer. It was my fault more than theirs.
-
-I heard no more of the Bellingers nor much more of Colonel Brentford for
-a long time after this. He, to be sure, went and came, as the other
-officers did, to one house and another, and I met him from time to time,
-and exchanged three words with him, but no more. And Lady Isabella made
-no reference whatever to that agitating moment when I, too, had a share
-in her personal history. Even Mrs. Spencer seemed to have forgotten all
-about it. Their house was more exquisite than ever that winter. They had
-built a new conservatory, which opened from the ante-room, and was full
-of the most bright, beautiful flowers--forced, artificial things to be
-sure they were, blooming long before their season, but still very lovely
-to look at in those winter days. The large drawing-room and the
-ante-room, and the conservatory at the end of all, were as warm and
-fragrant and soft and delicious as if they had been fairy-land--the
-temperature so equable, everything so soft to tread on, to sit on, to
-look at. It was a little drawing-room paradise--an Eden, with Turkey
-carpets instead of turf, and the flowers all in pots instead of growing
-free. And here Lady Isabella would sit, with that touch of mockery in
-her laugh, with little gibes at most people and most things, not quite
-so friendly or gentle as they once were. Now and then, I have thought,
-she cast a wistful glance at the door; now and then her spirits were
-fitful, her face paler than usual--but she had never been more lively or
-more bright.
-
-It was past Christmas, and already a pale glimmer of spring was in the
-air, when this little episode showed signs of coming to its conclusion.
-I remember the day quite distinctly--a pale day in the beginning of
-February, when everything was quite destitute of colour. The sky was
-gray and so was the grass, and the skeletons of the trees stood bleak
-against the dulness. It was the kind of afternoon when one is glad to
-hear any news, good or bad--anything that will quicken the blood a
-little, and restore to the nervous system something like its usual tone.
-
-This stimulus was supplied by the entrance to the house of our two
-neighbours Lucy Stoke--very important, and bursting with the dignity of
-a secret. She kept it in painfully for the first two minutes, moved
-chiefly by her reverential admiration for the fine furniture, the
-beautiful room, the atmosphere of splendour about her. But I was there,
-unfortunately, of whom Lucy was not afraid. It was to me, accordingly,
-that the revelation burst forth.
-
-‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said, ‘you know her! Who do you think I met
-going down to Lady Denzil’s, in a white bonnet,--though it’s such a
-dismal day--and a blue dress--quite light blue--the dress she went away
-in, I should think?’
-
-‘A bride, I suppose,’ I said; ‘but whom?--I don’t remember any recent
-bride.’
-
-‘Oh, yes, I _know_ you know her! Young Mrs. Brentford--Edith Bellinger
-that was.’
-
-‘Edith Bellinger!’ I cried, with a sudden pang. It was nothing to me. I
-had no reason to suppose it was anything to anybody, but yet----
-
-‘It must have been the dress she went away in,’ said Lucy: ‘blue trimmed
-with bands of satin and fringe, and a white bonnet with blue flowers. It
-was very becoming. But fancy, only three weeks married, and coming to
-see Lady Denzil alone!’
-
-‘And so she is Mrs. Brentford,’ said Mrs. Spencer, in a tone of genuine
-satisfaction. She would have suffered herself to be cut in little pieces
-for Lady Isabella, she would have done anything for her--but she was
-glad, unfeignedly thankful and relieved, to feel that this danger was
-past.
-
-And Lucy, well pleased, ran on for ten minutes or more. It felt like ten
-hours. When she went away at last, Mrs. Spencer went with her to the
-door, to hear further particulars. All this time Lady Isabella had never
-said a word. She was in the shade, and her face was not very distinctly
-visible. When they left the room, she rose all at once, pulling herself
-up by the arms of her chair. Such a change had come upon her face that I
-was frightened. Every vestige of colour had left her cheek; her lip was
-parched, and tightly drawn across her teeth. She laughed as she got up
-from the chair.
-
-‘We were all wishing for something to stir us up,’ she said; ‘but I
-never hoped for anything so exciting as Mrs. Brentford’s blue dress.’
-
-‘Where are you going?’ I said, in sudden terror.
-
-‘Up-stairs--only up-stairs. Where should I go?’ she said, with that
-short hard laugh. ‘Tell Mrs. Spencer--something. I have gone to
-fetch--Mrs. Brentford’s blue dress.’
-
-Oh, how that laugh pained me! I would rather, a thousand times rather,
-have heard her cry. She went away like a ghost, without any noise; and
-Mrs. Spencer, full of thanksgiving, came back.
-
-‘Where is Isabella? Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I can’t tell you what a relief
-this news is,’ she said. ‘I have always been so dreadfully afraid. Of
-course, anything that was for her happiness I would have put up with;
-but this would not have been for her happiness. She is no longer young,
-you know--her habits are all formed--and, even though she was fond of
-him once, how could she have taken up a man’s ways, and adapted herself?
-It would never have done--it would never have done! I am so thankful he
-is married, and that danger past.’
-
-For my part, I could not make any answer. Perhaps Mrs. Spencer was
-right--perhaps, in the long run, it would be better so; but, in the
-meantime, I could not forget Lady Isabella’s face. I went home, feeling
-I cannot tell how sad. It was all so perfectly natural and to be
-expected. The hardest things in this world are the things that are to be
-expected. Of course, I had felt sure when I saw them together that it
-was the little girl who would be the victor in any such struggle. And
-Lady Isabella had not attempted any struggle. She had stood aside and
-looked on; though, perhaps, she had hoped that the old love would have
-counted for something in the man’s heart. But I said to myself that I
-had always known better. What was old love, with all its associations,
-in comparison with the little peachy cheek and childish ways of a girl
-of seventeen? I despised the man for it, of course; but I thought it
-natural all the same.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-
-I was sitting next day by myself, with my mind full of these thoughts,
-when I was suddenly roused by a shadow which flitted across the light,
-and then by the sound of some one knocking at the window which opened
-into my garden. I looked up hurriedly, and saw Lady Isabella. She was
-very pale, yet looked breathless, as if she had been running. She made
-me a hasty, imperative gesture to open, and when I had done so, came in
-without suffering me to shut the window. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said,
-panting between the words, ‘I have a very strange--request--to make. I
-want to speak with--some one--for ten minutes--alone. May
-we--come--here? I have nothing to conceal--from you. It is _him_;--he
-has something--to say to me--for the last time.’
-
-‘Lady Isabella----’ I said.
-
-‘Don’t--say anything. It is strange--I know--but it must be; for the
-last time.’
-
-She did not seem able to stand for another moment. She sank down into
-the nearest chair, making a great effort to command herself. ‘Dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave--please call him,’ she cried faintly: ‘he is there. It will
-only be for ten minutes--there is something to explain.’
-
-I went out into the garden, and called him. He looked as much agitated
-as she did, and I went round the house, and through the kitchen-door
-with a sense of bewilderment which I could not put into words. Edith
-Bellinger’s bridegroom! What could he have to explain? What right had he
-to seek her, to make any private communication? I felt indignant with
-him, and impatient with her. Then I went into the dining-room and
-waited. My dining-room windows command the road, and along this I could
-see Mrs. Spencer walking in her quick, alert way. She was coming towards
-my house, in search, probably, of her companion. There was something
-absurd in the whole business, and yet the faces of the two I had just
-left were too tragical to allow any flippancy on the part of the
-spectator. Mrs. Spencer came direct to my door as I supposed, and I had
-to step out and stop the maid, who was about to usher her into the
-drawing-room where those two were. Mrs. Spencer was a little excited
-too.
-
-‘Have you seen Isabella?’ she said. ‘She was only about half-a-dozen
-yards behind me, round the corner at the Lodge; and when I turned to
-look for her she was gone. She could not have dropped into the earth you
-know, and I know she would never have gone to the Lodge. Is she here? It
-has given me quite a turn, as the maids say. She cannot have vanished
-altogether, like a fairy. She was too substantial for that.’
-
-‘She will be here directly,’ said I; ‘she is speaking to some one in the
-other room.’
-
-‘Speaking--to some one! You look very strange, Mrs. Mulgrave, and
-Isabella has been looking very strange. Who is she speaking to? I am her
-nearest friend and I ought to know.’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said, ‘you ought to know, that is certain--but wait, only wait,
-ten minutes--that was the time she said.’
-
-And then we two sat and looked at each other, not knowing what to think.
-I knew scarcely more than she did, but the little that I knew made me
-only the more anxious. If his wife should hear of it--if Lady Isabella
-were to betray herself, compromise herself! And then what was the good
-of it all? No explanation could annul a fact, and the less explanation
-the better between a married man and his former love. This feeling made
-me wretched as the time went on. Time seems so doubly long when one is
-waiting, and especially when one is waiting for the result of some
-private, secret, mysterious interview. The house was so quiet, the maids
-moving about the kitchen, the chirp of the sparrows outside, the
-drip--drip of a shower, which was just over, from the leaves. All these
-sounds made the silence deeper, especially as there was no sound from
-that mysterious room.
-
-‘The ten minutes are long past,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘I don’t understand
-what all this mystery can mean. It is more like an hour, I think.’
-
-‘Oh, do you think so?’ said I, though I fully agreed with her. ‘When one
-is waiting time looks so long. She will be here directly. I hear her
-now--that was her voice.’
-
-And so it certainly was. But everything became silent again the next
-instant. It was a sharp exclamation, sudden and high; and then we heard
-no more.
-
-‘I cannot wait any longer,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘I don’t know what this
-can mean; I must have an explanation. Mrs. Mulgrave, if you will not
-come with me, I will go myself to Isabella. I don’t understand what she
-can mean.’
-
-‘I will go,’ said I; and we rose at the same moment and hurried to the
-door. But we had not time to open it when a sudden sound was audible,
-which arrested us both. The door of the other room was opened, voices
-came towards us--two voices, and then a laugh. Was it Lady Isabella’s
-laugh? Mrs. Spencer drew near me and pinched my arm violently. ‘Is it
-Isabella? What, oh, what can it mean?’ she said with a look of terror.
-And then the door was thrown suddenly open, driving us back as we stood
-in our consternation within.
-
-It was Lady Isabella who stood before us, and yet it was not the Lady
-Isabella I had ever known. When Mrs. Spencer saw her she gave a
-suppressed groan and sat down suddenly on the nearest chair. This Lady
-Isabella was leaning on Colonel Brentford’s arm. Her face was flushed
-and rosy; her eyes shining like stars, yet full of tears; dimples I had
-never seen before were in her cheeks and about her mouth. She was
-radiant, she was young, she was running over with joy and happiness. In
-her joy and triumph she did not notice, I suppose, the sudden despair of
-her friend. ‘I have come to tell you,’ she said hastily, ‘he never meant
-it. It is all over. Oh, do you understand? All this cloud that has
-lasted for ten years, that has come between us and the skies--it is all
-over, all over. He never meant it. Do you understand?’
-
-Mrs. Spencer stood up tottering, looking like a ghost. ‘Isabella! I
-thought you had forgotten him. I thought it was this that was all over.
-I thought you were content.’
-
-Lady Isabella gave her a look of that supreme happiness which is not
-considerate of other people’s feelings. ‘I am content now,’ she said,
-clasping her hands upon Colonel Brentford’s arm, ‘more than content.’
-
-Mrs. Spencer answered with a bitter cry. ‘Then I am nothing to her,
-nothing to her!’ she said.
-
-It was at this moment that I interfered. I could keep silence no longer.
-I put myself between the two who were so happy and the one who was so
-miserable. ‘Before another word is said I must have this explained to
-me,’ I said. ‘He is Edith Bellinger’s husband. And this is my house----’
-
-He interrupted me hurriedly: ‘I am no one’s husband but hers,’ he said.
-‘You have been mistaken. Edith Bellinger has married my brother. There
-is no woman to me in the world but Isabella--never has been--never could
-be, though I lived a hundred years.’
-
-‘And it is you who have brought us together,’ cried Lady Isabella,
-suddenly throwing her arms round me. ‘God bless you for it! I should
-never have known, it would never have been possible but for you.’
-
-And he came to me and took both my hands. ‘God bless you for it, I say
-too! We might have been two forlorn creatures all our lives but for
-you.’
-
-I was overwhelmed with their thanks, with the surprise, and the shock.
-If I had done anything to bring this about I had done it in ignorance;
-but they surrounded me so with their joy and their gratitude, and the
-excitement of the revolution which had happened in them, that it was
-some minutes before I could think of anything else. And there was so
-much to be explained. But when I recovered myself so far as to look
-round and think of the other who did not share in their joy, I found she
-was gone. She had disappeared while they were thanking me, while I was
-expressing my wonder and my good wishes. None of us had either heard or
-seen her departure, but she was gone.
-
-‘Was Mrs. Spencer to blame?’ I asked with some anxiety when the tumult
-had subsided a little, and they had seated themselves like ordinary
-mortals and begun to accustom themselves to their delight. ‘Had she
-anything to do with the quarrel between you?’
-
-‘Nothing at all,’ said Lady Isabella. ‘She never saw George till she saw
-him in your house.’
-
-‘When you asked me for that rose--’ said he. ‘The rose you used to be so
-fond of; and I felt as if the skies had opened----’
-
-‘You turned your back upon me all the same,’ she said with the laugh
-that had suddenly become so joyous. They had forgotten everything but
-themselves and the new story of their reconciliation: which I suppose
-the old story of their estrangement thus recalled and reconsidered made
-doubly sweet.
-
-‘But about Mrs. Spencer?’ I said.
-
-‘Poor Mrs. Spen! She had got to be fond of me. She thought we were to
-spend all our lives together,’ said Lady Isabella with momentary
-gravity; and then the smile crept once more about the corners of her
-mouth, and the dimples which had been hidden all these years disclosed
-themselves, and her face warmed into sunshine as she turned to him. This
-was my fate whenever I tried to bring back the conversation to Mrs.
-Spencer, who, poor soul, had disappeared like a shadow before that
-sunshine. I was glad for their sakes to see them so happy; but still I
-could not but feel that it was hard to have given your life and love for
-years and to be rewarded at the end by that ‘poor Mrs. Spen.’
-
-The news made a great commotion through all Dinglefield, and Mrs.
-Spencer did not make so much difficulty about it as I fancied she would.
-The marriage was from her house, and she took a great deal of trouble,
-and no mother could have been more careful and tender about a bride. But
-she made no fuss, poor soul--she had not the heart; and though I don’t
-like fuss, I missed it in this case, and felt that it was a sign how
-deep the blow had gone. Even Lady Isabella, pre-occupied as she was,
-felt it. She had not realized it perhaps--few people do. We are all in
-the habit of laughing at the idea of friendships so close and exacting,
-especially when they exist between women. But to Mrs. Spencer it was as
-if life itself had gone from her. Her companion had gone from her, the
-creature she loved best. Next to a man’s wife deserting him, or a
-woman’s husband, I know nothing more hard. Her pretty house, her
-flowers, her perfect comfort and grace of life palled upon her. She had
-kept them up chiefly, I think, for the young woman who, she had thought,
-poor soul, was wedded to her for life. Perhaps it was a foolish thought,
-perhaps it might be a little selfish to try to keep Colonel Brentford
-away. I suppose to be married is the happiest; but still I was very,
-very sorry, grieved more than I can say, for the woman who was forsaken;
-though she was only forsaken by another woman and not by a man.
-
-However that, I fear, is a sentiment in which I should find few
-sympathizers. The Brentfords took a place in the neighbourhood, and I
-believe Lady Isabella was a very happy wife. As for poor little Edith
-Bellinger, she had married the Colonel’s elder brother, Sir Charles, and
-was Lady Brentford, to her great astonishment and that of everybody
-about. It had been her doubt and reluctance, poor child, to marry a man
-older than her father, which had made her ill. I think her mother missed
-her almost as much as Mrs. Spencer missed Lady Isabella. For every new
-tie that is made in this world some old ties must be broken. But what
-does that matter? Is it not the course of nature and the way of the
-world?
-
-
-
-
-AN ELDERLY ROMANCE
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-There is a house in Dinglefield, standing withdrawn in a mass of
-shrubbery, and overshadowed by some fine trees, which has been called by
-the name of Brothers-and-Sisters for a longer time than any one in the
-village can recollect. It presents to the outside world who peep at it
-over the palings, between the openings which have been carefully cut to
-afford to its inmates pleasant glimpses of the lower part of the Green,
-on which the cricket matches are played, the aspect of a somewhat low
-white house, with no apparent entrance, and a great number of chimneys
-of different heights, chimneys which I suppose suggested to some wag the
-unequal stature of a family of children, and thus procured the house its
-popular name. In the map or the estate on which Dinglefield stands it is
-called Bonport House, and this is how the General’s letters, I need not
-say, are addressed. But yet the common name sticks, all the more because
-of the character of the family which now inhabits that hospitable place.
-It is literally a house of brothers and sisters. General Stamford, the
-head of the family, is a hale and ruddy old warrior of sixty, who has
-seen a great deal of service, and who has been knocked about, battered,
-and beaten from the age of sixteen until now: sent to every unfavourable
-place where a soldier without money or influence has to go, and engaged
-in every fierce little war in which it has been the pleasure of England
-to indulge, without any consideration for the feelings of her fighting
-men. He has been at Bermuda; he has been on the Gold Coast; he has
-braved all the fevers and fought all the savages within our ken; and
-outliving all this, has settled down with his sisters and brother in our
-village, one of the most peaceable yet the most active of men. It is for
-this last reason that General George (as we have all got to call him,
-partly because there are other generals about, and to say General
-Stamford every time you mention a man in a neighbourhood like ours is
-fatiguing--and partly for kindness) has so many things on his hands. He
-is one of the directors of our railway; he is on several boards in town,
-where he goes almost every day punctual as clockwork, brushed to
-perfection, and driven to the station by Miss Stamford in the
-pony-carriage, which always takes him there, and always meets him when
-he comes back. Miss Stamford is the eldest sister of all. She is very
-like her brother, and there never was such a tender brotherly sisterly
-union as between these two old people. They have known each other so
-long, longer than any husband and wife. They have the recollections of
-the nursery quite fresh in their minds, as if it were yesterday--when it
-was always Ursula who found George’s books for him, and gave him good
-advice, and most of her pocket-money, and looked after his linen when he
-was at home, and his pets when he went away. Miss Stamford knows all the
-occurrences of her brother’s chequered life better than he does himself,
-and recollects everything, and knows all his friends, even if she never
-saw them, and can recall to him the exact relationship between the young
-man who comes to him with an introduction, and old Burton who was killed
-by his side among the Maoris; or Percival who died of the yellow fever
-at Barbadoes. She is his remembrancer, his counsellor, half his heart,
-and a good part of his mind; and indeed there is nobody among us who
-ever thinks of the one without thinking of the other. What she was doing
-with herself all those years when George was fighting on the outskirts
-of civilization, or sweltering in the tropics, none of us know, but some
-of us wonder now and then. Did nothing ever happen to Miss Stamford on
-her own account? Has all her life been only a reflection of her
-brother’s? But this is what nobody can tell.
-
-The next member of the family in due succession is Mrs. St. Clair, who
-is the second sister, and who has been so long a widow that she has
-forgotten that this is not the normal condition of women. I don’t think,
-for my part, that she remembers much about her husband, though he did
-exist, I have every reason to believe. Her married life was a little
-episode, but the family is all her idea of ordinary existence. That
-little sip of matrimony however has made her different from the rest. I
-cannot quite tell how. There is a tone that is more mellow; she is a
-little more--stout, if I may use such a word: her outlines are a little
-fuller, both of mind and body. Miss Stamford takes care of the house and
-the General, but Mrs. St. Clair takes care of the parish. She is the
-Rector’s lay curate, and a most efficient one. It is she who watches
-over, not only the poor, but the district visitors, and even the
-curates, whose juvenile importance she makes very light of, keeping down
-all rampant sacerdotalism. When a young man comes into a parish full of
-very fine ideas of priestly state and dignity, and fortified besides by
-all the talk in the newspapers about adoring ladies and worked slippers,
-it is hard for him to find himself confronted by a lively middle-aged
-woman who has no particular respect for him, and knows all his kind, and
-all their little ways. Mrs. St. Clair was of the greatest use to us all
-in this particular. She kept us from innovations. Our excellent Rector
-has not a very strong will, and how far he might have been induced to
-go in respect to vestments, or candles, or even Gregorians, it would be
-hard to say, but for Mrs. St. Clair, who kept the young men down.
-Everybody who has ever been at Dinglefield has met her about the roads,
-with her gray hair neatly braided, and her soft brown eyes smiling, yet
-seeing everything, and a basket in her hand. She always had the basket;
-and the basket, if it had been examined, would have been found always to
-contain something which was to do somebody good.
-
-Miss Sophy, the third sister, was much younger than the others, and she
-was one of those who are always young. Nothing had changed much with her
-since she was eighteen. She lived quite the same sort of life as she had
-done then, and wore the same kind of dresses; and felt, I believe, very
-much the same. Life had never progressed into a second chapter with her,
-and she felt no need of a second chapter. She did little commissions for
-everybody, and carried little messages, and played croquet, and went out
-to tea, and performed her little pieces on the piano with undiminished
-and undiminishing satisfaction. She was as kind, as sweet, and as
-innocent as any girl need be; and, in short, she was a girl--but of
-forty-five. The reader may think this is a sneer; but nobody ever
-thought of sneering at Miss Sophy; that malign amusement found no
-encouragement in her simplicity. You smiled at her, perhaps, then
-blushed for yourself, abashed at your own heartlessness in finding
-anything absurd in a creature so guileless and true. She had no
-particular _rôle_ of her own in the family, except to be kind to
-everybody, and to do what everybody wished, as far as a merely mortal
-sister could. If there was one thing that she thought especially her
-duty and privilege, it was to look after the faith and morals of the
-other brother, who occasionally formed part of the household. He was a
-barrister, an old bachelor like the rest, who had chambers in town and
-came when he pleased to Brothers-and-Sisters. He spent the Sundays
-there, and Miss Sophy took him to church. She would have made him say
-the Collect if she could; and, indeed, always questioned him about his
-opinions, and argued with him on the Sunday afternoons upon the points
-on which he was astray. And when I add that Mr. Charles was a clever
-lawyer and a man of the world, and astray upon a great many points, it
-will be seen that Sophy had her hands full. She argued herself into
-palpitations and headaches, but I fear her arguments were less potent
-than her intention. This energetic effort to keep Charles right in
-theology was, so far as any one knew, the only duty exclusively hers.
-
-These delightful people were only a small part of the family to which
-they belonged. Behind them was a bodyguard of married brothers and
-sisters, a sort of milky way of family plenitude, from which arose an
-army of nephews and nieces who were always looming about, sure to come
-down upon us in force when anything was going on. There were always men
-to be had for a dance, and actors for theatricals on application to the
-Stamfords. ‘Tell me how many you want and give me two or three days’
-notice,’ Mrs. St. Clair would say, and then Sophy would write the
-letters, and after a while the air of Dinglefield would be thick with
-nephews. There was room for an untold number of them in the old,
-many-chimneyed house. When it was the time for garden parties, or when
-there was a bazaar for some charity, it was the turn of the nieces, who
-came like the swallows, with a skimming of wings, and a chirping and
-chattering of pleasant voices. It was astonishing how soon we got to
-know them all, discriminating Sophy Humphreys from Sophy Thistlethwaite,
-and both from Sophy Stamford number one, called Soff, or Henry’s Sophy,
-to distinguish her from Sophy Stamford number two, who was called Fia,
-or William’s Sophy. Sophy was the pet name of the race; the mother’s
-name from whom they all sprang.
-
-And it would be difficult to give any stranger an idea of the addition
-they were to our limited society at Dinglefield. Go when you would the
-genial house was always open, a pleasant party always to be found on the
-lawn in summer, by the drawing-room fire in winter. They had their
-anxieties and sorrows like other people, no doubt; but not so many as
-other people: for the time was over with them for personal pangs and
-trouble; and when one nephew out of twenty goes a little wrong, or one
-niece (also out of twenty) makes a bad marriage, the pang is not so keen
-or so lasting as when it is a son or a daughter who has broken down. And
-this was the worst that could now befall the house. It was a house made
-for the comfort and succour of every aching heart or troubled mind
-within its range. There was nothing they would not do for their
-neighbours and friends; how much more for their relations. General
-George lent his kindly ear, a little, just a little, hard of hearing
-(but no, not hard of anything, the word is unworthy to be used in his
-connection), to every request. He would do his best to place your son,
-or invest your money; or order early salmon or turbot for you when you
-were going to have a dinner-party. I should not have liked to ask Mr.
-Charles Stamford to order my fish, but I have no doubt he too would have
-done it, had he been asked; and as for the sisters, they would, as the
-poor people said, put their hand to anything.
-
-One day Sophy came into my cottage with an air of some excitement to
-tell me that George had sent a telegram, and was bringing down a large
-party of his fellow-directors to dinner. ‘Will you come, dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave? Fancy! how shall we ever entertain these twelve business
-gentlemen?’ said Sophy in a flutter. ‘If only some of the girls had been
-here. Not that the girls would have cared for these old creatures. But
-the worst is that Ursula herself is away. She went up to town this
-morning to see her great friend, Mrs. Biddulph. And though she will be
-back for dinner, all the responsibility will be upon Frances and me. I
-must run away now this moment to James the gardener, to see how many
-strawberries he can give us. Don’t you think it was tiresome of George
-to bring down so many upon us without warning? It is just like him: no,
-he is not tiresome--never! he is a darling! But sometimes he does a
-tiresome thing.’
-
-And Sophy tripped away, light-footed, light-hearted, with no greater
-thought than the strawberries. She was still as slim as a girl, and
-there was about her all the eagerness and breathless mixture of fright
-and pleasure which are natural at eighteen. She _was_ eighteen,
-spiritually speaking. I watched her tripping along in her light summer
-dress, and smiled; I could not help it. I saw her again three times that
-day, and, indeed, I saw Mrs. St. Clair too, who was equally full of
-business. ‘Twelve men!’ Mrs. St. Clair cried. ‘Is it not a nuisance? I
-can’t think how George could do it. They have a nice bit of villainy in
-hand; they are going to cut up all our pretty view, and take away the
-poor people’s gardens; and then they expect us to give them dinner!’
-
-‘Did Sophy get the strawberries?’ I asked.
-
-‘Oh, yes; more than they deserve. But you are coming, and you shall
-see.’ She went on, waving her hand, too busy to talk. A dinner of twelve
-gentlemen, when you have made no arrangements, and provided nothing but
-what was needed for the family, is a serious matter in a country place,
-especially when the real housekeeper is out of the way.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-All this time Miss Stamford knew nothing of what was going on. She had
-gone up to town early in the morning, and she had spent the day with her
-friend, who was ailing; and in the afternoon she had missed the usual
-dinner train by which General George always travelled, coming by the
-next one, which was about half an hour later. She came down in the same
-carriage with a gentleman who, she afterwards admitted, attracted her
-attention at once. He was a tall man--well, not young,
-certainly--oldish, elderly, ‘about the same age as other people’--with a
-long face, like Don Quixote. She remarked him; and he remarked her,
-apparently, showing her several little politenesses: opening and
-shutting the window, &c. He was very like Don Quixote. This was the
-chief remark Miss Stamford made.
-
-She was a little late for dinner, having been taken entirely by surprise
-by the great preparations she found on her return. She had left
-everything in the ordinary quiet, no company expected, and had ordered
-the usual dinner for the family before she went away; and the sight of
-Williams the greengrocer, and Jones the verger, both in grand official
-costume, on duty in her own hall when she got back, astonished her.
-
-‘Company, ma’am, as the General has brought home from town, unexpected,’
-Williams said, as he opened the door. Their own homely butler, Simms,
-had been promoted to the rank of major-domo for the moment, and was a
-very great personage with two men under him. Miss Stamford changed her
-dress as quickly as possible, but dinner had begun before she got
-down-stairs. Mrs. St. Clair had taken the head of the table, and Ursula
-slid quietly into the vacant place which had been left for her. She
-nodded to me across the table as she sat down. She had not even put on
-her best cap, and her gown was anything but new. And it did not seem to
-me that Ursula Stamford was by any means looking her best. She was a
-little prim in appearance, though so liberal and generous in heart; and
-she looked sixty, while to my knowledge she was only fifty-seven. You
-will say that was not a difference which mattered much; but I assure you
-we think a great deal of a year or two up here among the snows of life.
-She sat down so quietly that the gentleman on one side did not at first
-notice that the place was taken by his side, and she occupied herself
-with the other, whom she happened to know. There was a great deal of
-talk going on at the table. Mrs. St. Clair had picked up a few ladies in
-haste to make the balance a little more even. Mrs. Stokes had sent Lucy,
-who was going to be married, and Miss Woodroff had come from the
-Rectory, and Mrs. Sommerville, the young widow who was living with her
-brother, the curate. There were seven of us altogether to thirteen
-gentlemen, for, by way of making the table a little more crowded,
-Charles Stamford had thought proper to come, though it was not his day.
-And we all talked as if our lives were at stake. The younger ones were
-much amused to be on duty thus, to be called upon to take care of the
-old gentlemen, and the rest of us understood the obligation we were
-under to talk, and worked resolutely at the conversation. For my part, I
-did very well, I had quite a pleasant neighbour; and, indeed, I have
-found that a great many of the City gentlemen are very pleasant to talk
-to. He told me all about the new railway it was intended to make, and
-scarcely laughed at all when I declared myself an enemy to new
-railroads, in our neighbourhood, at least.
-
-‘Why should you cut up our pleasant, smiling country?’ I said. ‘We have
-all the railways we want, and more. I do not say anything against what
-is necessary; but why make gashes across the country when it is not
-wanted----’
-
-‘Gashes--I don’t think they are gashes,’ said my neighbour. ‘When I saw
-the white steam flying along the valley just now, I thought it very
-picturesque. I allow I do not like it too near; but Dinglefield is as
-safe as if it were in Paradise. No railway will climb your peaceable
-heights. If there was question however of a railway into Paradise
-itself, there is the man who would do it,’ he said, looking across the
-table. ‘I am a mere innocent myself. I do what other people tell me: but
-there is the dangerous man. I hope, for your sake, that he will give his
-word against this, for he would survey the moon if he thought it likely
-to answer.’
-
-I peeped between the little thickets of flowers with which Sophy had
-covered the table, and looked at the man thus pointed out to me. He was
-sitting by Ursula Stamford, but he was not talking to her--she, as I
-have said, was occupied by her other neighbour at her right hand. He was
-an old man, not far from seventy, according to appearance, with
-snow-white hair, but a beard still almost black, a combination which is
-always striking. His features were fine, his dark eyes deeply sunk under
-eyebrows still dark like his beard. There was a gentleman on the other
-side of him whom he did not seem to care to talk to, and he was sitting,
-scarcely speaking, his face in repose.
-
-‘Do you mean that handsome old man?’ I said.
-
-‘Old,’ said my companion, slightly startled; he was about the same age
-himself if I had thought of it. ‘Well, I suppose he is old,’ he added,
-with a little laugh. ‘You should talk to him. I don’t know a more
-interesting man; and, as I tell you, he is the man to whom, if there was
-a railway to be made to the moon, everybody would turn. If he took the
-Channel tunnel in hand he would carry it through.’
-
-‘But that must be impossible,’ said I. ‘I hate the crossing; but I would
-not trust myself in a tunnel under the sea, not for---- But you are
-laughing--it is impossible----’
-
-‘Impossible!--not in the very least--ask _him_. I think myself he’s too
-speculative. But there is one thing certain. If Oakley took it up, it
-would go through. He’d do it. He is a man who does not believe in
-difficulties. There might be a great catastrophe next day, but one way
-or other he’d drive it through.’
-
-I am a very quiet person myself, therefore it stands to reason that I
-should like a man who drives things through. Besides, he was a handsome
-old man. I looked at him again behind the flowers, while my companion
-went on talking, and I saw something which interested me. Miss Stamford
-came to a pause in her conversation with the man at her right hand, and
-she seized the opportunity to turn to the man on her left. At the first
-sound of her voice his abstract countenance lighted up. He turned
-hastily round with a look of recognition. How could he know Ursula
-Stamford, I said to myself? His face lighted up with a gleam of
-intelligence and pleasure, and something which, not knowing any other
-word, I can only call sweetness. He turned quite round to her, and began
-to talk with an interest and warmth which roused my immediate sympathy.
-I seemed to be looking on at an interesting scene in the theatre, seen
-from so great a distance that it was only the dumb-show which made it
-intelligible. And my neighbour carried on his discourse all the time.
-
-‘He has sprung from nothing,’ he said. ‘I don’t know if he ever had a
-father. He began in the humblest way. The first time I heard of him was
-about thirty years ago, when he was struggling into business. He was not
-what you would call a young man then. (You ladies are hard upon age--you
-don’t like it talked about when it concerns yourselves, but you stamp us
-down as old men without a bit of fellow-feeling----)’
-
-Here I interrupted my instructor. ‘I thought it was a weakness of ours
-only to dislike to be called old. I thought men were superior to such a
-little vanity--as to so many others.’
-
-‘You are satirical now. You think we are not superior to any vanity, and
-I shouldn’t wonder if you were right. I was saying old Oakley was not a
-young man to start with. He was a sort of an engineer, self-taught, all
-self-taught, and he was trying to get into business as a contractor.
-Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said my companion solemnly, ‘have you any idea what that
-man is worth now? I thought so, as you didn’t seem impressed. He is
-worth more than a million, that is the fact--he is made of money; losses
-don’t seem to touch him. I do not suppose,’ my friend added, with awe in
-his voice, ‘that he knows how much he has.’
-
-This information did not excite me as he expected, but I looked again
-between the geraniums at Mr. Oakley. I am afraid his handsome head
-interested me more than his fortune. ‘And there are so many people who
-have nothing at all!’ I said; ‘but to look at him he might be a
-philosopher without a penny.’
-
-‘That is just like you ladies--you would think more of him if he were a
-philosopher without a penny. What an extraordinary mistake!’ cried my
-companion, ‘as if money were not a power, quite as interesting and a
-great deal more tangible than philosophy.’
-
-His countenance flushed and changed. He was an enthusiast for money. I
-have met many such among General George’s City friends: not in the
-sordid way we think of, but really as a great power.
-
-When Mrs. St. Clair gave the sign to go away, I was quite sorry to break
-off this conversation, which was so much more interesting than the
-ordinary kind of talk. It was a beautiful June evening, and, instead of
-going into the drawing-room, we all went out upon the lawn where Simms
-had laid down the great lion-skin, of which they are all so proud, and
-some rugs which the General brought from India; for it is unnecessary to
-say that we elder people were a little afraid of the dew on the grass.
-But nobody could have taken cold on such a night. The borders were all
-red and white with roses standing out against the deep green of the
-shrubberies behind, and the colours seemed to repeat themselves in the
-sky, which was all one flush of rose above the blue, deepening into
-crimson as it descended, and burning like fire between the trees on the
-horizon line. Dinglefield stands high, with the broad Thames valley
-lying at its feet, of which you could get glimpses through the cuttings
-on the western side, if your eyes were not dazzled with all that blaze
-of gold. Miss Stamford was tired with her day in town, and established
-herself at once in her favourite basket-chair on the lawn. She sat there
-tranquil and happy while the rest walked about; her presence, her smile,
-the rest that seemed to breathe about her, gave stability and meaning to
-the whole place. She was only an old maid according to the vulgar, but
-you could not look at her without feeling sure that where she was, there
-was a home. I don’t know that it had ever occurred to me to think so
-much about Ursula Stamford before. There was something in the air which
-affected me, though I did not know how. We could see the lighted windows
-of the dining-room, and hear the sound of the voices and laughter,
-though at a distance; and we all laughed too in sympathy, though we did
-not know what the jokes were. It was very pleasant and friendly, and
-rather droll. None of us had any particular desire to be joined by the
-gentlemen. We had done our duty by them, talked our very best to them,
-and flattered ourselves that it had all gone off very well; but though
-we were glad they were enjoying themselves, now that our part of the
-entertainment was over, we were not very sorry to think that they must
-all go away shortly by the last train. And no heart among us, I am safe
-to say, beat one pulsation the quicker when they came out upon the lawn,
-some of them slightly flushed with the laughter and the good cheer, to
-take their coffee, and their leave. It had grown almost dark by that
-time, and the white waistcoats (for they were in their morning dress,
-and most of them wore white waistcoats) made a great show in the half
-light. The greater part of them thanked us all for the delightful
-evening, not being quite clear which were, and which were not, the
-ladies of the house, but determined to fulfil all the duties of
-politeness. We walked with them to the gate to see them go, and shook
-hands with them all, though we did not know their names. I recollect the
-whole scene as clearly as a picture, though I knew at the time no reason
-why I should remember it: the dining-room brightly lighted, the table
-with all its fruit and flowers, and the vacant chairs pushed away,
-standing in all manner of groups: the drawing-room much more dim, just
-showing a glimmer of newly-lighted candles: the table on the lawn with
-Miss Stamford’s white cap and half visible figure close to it: and all
-the rest of us standing about telling each other how well it had gone
-off, and listening to the voices of the gentlemen getting fainter and
-fainter as they streamed off behind the shrubberies along the road to
-the station. If any one had told us what changes would come from that
-visit! But how could any one have guessed the changes that were to come?
-
-It was not the next day, but the day after that I met General George in
-the afternoon coming from the station. It was at least two hours before
-his usual time, and he was walking. The sight of him gave me a little
-shock. Something, I thought, must have happened. I ran over in my mind,
-as one naturally does, as I went up to him, the things that were most
-possible. There were nephews scattered about over all the world. Could
-it be that there was bad news of George Thistlethwaite in Ceylon, or
-Bertie Stamford at the Cape? or was it pleasanter intelligence from
-young Mrs. Thurston (_née_ Ursula Humphreys) or Lucy Thistlethwaite, or
-one of the Lincolnshire girls? but that (I said to myself) would not be
-enough to bring the General home so much sooner than usual. When he came
-nearer however my mind became easier. He did not look unhappy, he looked
-puzzled, and now and then a gleam like laughter came over his face. When
-he saw me he came forward with an air of pleasure.
-
-‘You are the very person I wanted to see--if you will let me, I will
-walk home with you; but let us go the back way,’ said General George to
-my intense surprise, ‘for I don’t want to see my sisters till I have
-taken your advice.’
-
-‘My advice! before you see your sisters, before you tell _Ursula_!’ I
-cried, and then the General laughed and frowned, and looked angry and
-amused all in one. ‘That is just where my difficulty lies,’ he said. A
-difficulty about Ursula! it took away my breath.
-
-‘You will not believe it,’ he said, ‘but it is quite true. Charles came
-to me this morning with the absurdest question. He came to ask me who it
-was that sat next Mr. Oakley at dinner at Bonport on Tuesday--eh? what,
-did you notice anything?’ he asked abruptly, for I had not been able to
-restrain a little exclamation. I have never boasted of my penetration,
-but from that moment I seemed to know exactly what he was going to say.
-
-‘I know who sat next Mr. Oakley at dinner,’ I said.
-
-‘Ursula, wasn’t it? we laid our heads together, and from all we could
-make out--he went to Charles first to find out who it was, and Charles,
-of course, made up his mind that it must have been one of the young
-ladies that had made such an impression. He proposed first Miss Woodroff
-and then the young widow: but no, no. Oakley said it was not a young
-lady. It was a lady whose hair was turning gray, who wore a cap, and
-used a double eye-glass. At last the conviction forced itself upon me.
-By Jove! it was Ursula--_Ursula_ the man was thinking of! We both burst
-out laughing in his face---- But afterwards,’ the General added gloomily
-with a flush of displeasure, ‘afterwards--I feel furious, Mrs. Mulgrave,
-though I may not show it; and that is why I have come first to you.
-
-‘What did he want?’ I said, though I allow there was some hypocrisy in
-my question.
-
-‘What did he want?--you may well ask. He is a man of sixty-five, older
-than I am. He wants--to marry my sister,’ said the General, with a half
-suppressed outcry of rage--‘a man who has risen from the ranks--a
-stranger--a--a confounded---- I beg you ten thousand pardons, Mrs.
-Mulgrave; he wants to pay his addresses, if you please, to Ursula! God
-bless us all--did you ever hear such a thing? I feel much more like
-cursing than blessing, to tell the truth.’
-
-‘But, General, he is very rich--richer than any one ever was before.’
-
-‘Ah, you have got bitten too,’ he said, with a tone almost of disgust.
-‘That is what Charles says; but what is his money to me? What is it to
-any of us, Mrs. Mulgrave? You would not upset all the order of your life
-and change your habits, and give up your own ways for a million of
-money, would you? After all, when you have enough to be comfortable,
-what does money matter? Even the most extravagant of women can’t put
-more than a certain number of yards of stuff into her dress. When you
-have enough, what does it matter whether the over-plus is counted by
-hundreds or by thousands?’ said the General, with magnanimous but
-new-born indifference. If he cared so little about it, why should he go
-to the City every day, I could not help saying to myself; and, indeed,
-it came to my lips before I knew.
-
-‘If we all thought that,’ I said, ‘it would save a great deal of
-trouble. Perhaps you would not then have had these twelve gentlemen down
-to dinner and made all the mischief, General.’
-
-General George laughed. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t,’ he said, ‘but that is
-different. It is not for the money, but the occupation, Mrs. Mulgrave;
-and of course when one has money invested one wants to make something by
-it. However my opinion is that it would be much better to say nothing
-about this folly to Ursula. To be sure,’ he added with a look of
-half-defiant assurance which he belied by a suspicious glance of inquiry
-at me,’ it might amuse her; but it could have no other effect. I don’t
-see why I should take any notice to Ursula.’
-
-‘But Mr. Oakley--will he be satisfied?’
-
-‘Old Oakley? Upon my word, I don’t see why I should consider him or what
-will satisfy him,’ said the General, growing red; but he was uneasy. He
-paused, then turned to me again. ‘If you were in my position, what
-should you do?’
-
-‘I should tell her, and let her judge; after all, it is she who must
-decide.’
-
-‘Decide--judge! you speak,’ cried General George, ‘as if it were
-possible--as if it might be within the bounds of---- Bah! do you suppose
-that Ursula--_Ursula!_ my sister--would, could hesitate one moment?’
-
-‘No.’ I said ‘no,’ half because I really thought so, but half because he
-was so much excited, and it was necessary to calm him. ‘I do not suppose
-she would; but still, a woman should be told when a man---- It is the
-greatest compliment he can pay her, and it is always flattering even
-when it is impossible!’
-
-‘Flattering--a compliment! What can you be thinking of?’ the General
-cried in high disdain; ‘that an old fellow like that should propose to
-appropriate and take possession of--a lady! I don’t say my sister, which
-of course is the sting of it,’ he said with a laugh, calming down again,
-‘but any lady----’
-
-‘Dear General, forgive me,’ I said; ‘you always talk, you gentlemen, of
-marriage as the end of every woman’s ambition, and you are always ready
-to jibe at those who have not attained that great end. Then how, when
-this elevation is in her power, do you venture to think of keeping her
-in ignorance of it?’
-
-He turned round upon me almost with violence. ‘Elevation!’ he cried;
-then perceiving, I suppose, by something in my eyes what I meant,
-laughed more uneasily than ever. ‘Come,’ he said, ‘we may say silly
-things, I allow we all say silly things; but when you come to that--to
-speak of elevation for my sister from any offer, or that she should
-think it a compliment!--God bless us all!--there are a great many
-foolish things that one says, but you know better than to take it all
-for gospel. Of course when one speaks of women one does not think of----
-By Jove, I am only getting deeper. Don’t hit a man when he is down, but
-be serious, and give me your advice.’
-
-‘One does not think of one’s own sisters,’ said I, for I did not mean to
-spare him, ‘only of other people’s sisters, or of those who have nobody
-to stand up for them; but I will not be ungenerous, General I will give
-you my advice. Tell Ursula, and let her judge for herself.’
-
-‘Judge!--she can have but one opinion. But that is what Charlie says. I
-suppose the two of you must be right,’ said the General grudgingly. He
-walked on by my side in silence, cutting down the weeds by the roadside
-ferociously with his stick; then repeated with a still more churlish
-assent, ‘I suppose what you two people of the world say must be right.’
-
-I smiled within myself to be called a woman of the world; but one must
-not take the words of an angry man to heart. When he came to the turn of
-the road which led to Brothers-and-Sisters he muttered something about
-getting it over, and took off his hat and left me without another word.
-Poor General George! Under all his pretences at anger he was in a great
-fright. Either he believed his own careless talk, and thought that a
-husband was too fine a thing for any woman to refuse, or else---- But I
-need not discuss the vague feeling of insecurity which had begun to
-creep over him. For my part, I did not feel alarmed. I had more
-confidence in Ursula’s faithfulness than he had. At the same time, the
-crisis was exciting, and I thought the time very long until the evening
-began to darken, and I felt myself at liberty--dinner being over--to run
-over the corner of the Green which lay between us, as I often did in the
-evening, and see what Ursula said.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-The family party was on the lawn as usual; Miss Stamford seated in her
-own chair with her knitting and her feet upon the lion-skin; while Mrs.
-St. Clair beside her, with a basket full of bright scraps, had been
-dressing dolls for a bazaar. Sophy was cutting off the withered roses
-with a large pair of garden scissors; all their occupations were quite
-as usual. But there was an aspect about the family which was not usual.
-In the distance the General’s step was audible pacing about; and there
-was an odour of his cigar in the air; all as peaceful, as homelike as it
-always was; but yet a something in the atmosphere which had not been
-there yesterday. As I came up with my shawl over my head, the General
-tossed his cigar away and came nearer, and Sophia put down the basket
-with the dead roses, and Mrs. St. Clair got up to get me a chair. The
-only one that had not changed in the least was Ursula, who raised her
-head and her eyes and gave me a friendly nod as she always did. She went
-on with her knitting without any intermission. It is work which does not
-demand attention, nor so much light as doll-dressing. They were all very
-glad to see me--more glad even than on ordinary occasions: for it was
-clear that the situation was highly _tendu_, as the French say, and that
-a new-comer was a relief.
-
-‘What a beautiful evening!’ we all said together, and then stopped
-abashed, as people do who have rushed into the same commonplace speech.
-
-Then Ursula added, ‘Of course, that is the first thing we must say to
-each other. I think there never was such a summer--so bright, so steady,
-one fine day after another. Here is a fortnight, or nearly so, that we
-have not had one drop of rain.’
-
-‘Quite wonderful,’ said I. ‘The hay, I hear, is a sight to see. A day or
-two more, and we shall all begin to pray for rain. We are never content
-whatever we have.’
-
-‘A little variety is always pleasant,’ Mrs. St. Clair said. Meanwhile,
-while we talked about the weather, the General hung about over our
-little group like a storm-cloud. He did not say anything, but he looked
-tempestuous; he, who was always so calm. Presently he turned away, and
-went off to say something to Simms, who appeared just then with a note
-or a message.
-
-‘I suppose,’ said Mrs. St. Clair, turning to me, ‘_you_ know all about
-it. George told us that he had met you, and told you----’
-
-‘Yes, he told me;’ but I did not know what to say; they all wore a look
-of agitation, except Ursula, who was as calm as usual--more calm than
-usual, I should have said; but, no doubt, that was only in comparison
-with the agitation of the rest.
-
-‘And I suppose you think like the rest, that I will jump at a husband
-the moment one is offered to me,’ said Miss Stamford with a smile.
-
-‘We don’t think so, Ursula. We know it is not the first time. It is only
-George that is so frightened, poor fellow.’
-
-‘Why should he be so frightened?’ Miss Stamford cried. ‘No; it is not
-the first time. I may take that little credit to myself. I might have my
-head turned, perhaps, if it had been the first time. But, after all, it
-is not so much to brag of. I suppose he wants somebody to take care of
-him when he gets old and feeble; but he ought to have somebody younger
-than me.’
-
-Sixty-five is not what you would call young; but it was odd how we all
-were of opinion that Mr. Oakley’s time for being old and feeble was
-still a good way off, a thing to come. I acknowledged that I shared this
-weakness. We were all about the same age, and it did not occur to us
-that we were already old.
-
-‘He shows his sense,’ said I, taking the part of the absent to whom
-nobody did any justice, ‘as well as his good taste. Poor man, though he
-is so rich, I am very sorry for him. I wish Ursula had met him twenty
-years ago when there would have been no harm----’
-
-‘No harm! do you know that he is a nobody--a man self-made?’ said Mrs.
-St. Clair; ‘not a match for Ursula Stamford if he had been ever so
-young!’
-
-‘But you did not think of that in Fia’s case,’ said Sophy; ‘he was rich
-and you never said a word. You thought it quite reasonable. ‘What do his
-grandfathers matter to us?’ you said. I am not sure myself whether it
-does or not; but you said so, you know; and George proposed the bride
-and bridegroom at the wedding, and everybody was pleased. Now this Mr.
-Oakley is a very nice man, whatever you say, for I had a good deal of
-talk with him myself; and if Ursula chose----’
-
-‘You should not interfere,’ said Mrs. St. Clair; ‘you are always
-sentimental. Of course, if there is so much as a thought of a marriage,
-Sophy is always in favour of it; but to think of Ursula at her time of
-life!’
-
-‘You all talk very much at your ease about Ursula,’ said Miss Stamford.
-‘I suppose Ursula may have a word, a little share in it, for herself.
-The way my family consult over me’--she said, turning to me with a
-slight blush and laugh. ‘I think George might have held his tongue; that
-would have been the more satisfactory way.’
-
-‘It was my fault,’ I cried hurriedly: ‘he told me that he thought it
-would be best not to tell you. You must forgive me, Ursula, if I gave
-him bad advice; I thought you ought to know.’
-
-Before I had half said this, I saw I had made a mistake; but one must
-finish one’s sentence, however foolish it may be. Ursula suspended her
-knitting for a moment and looked at me with calm amazement.
-
-‘Not tell _me_!’ she said. ‘Why should he have kept it from _me_?’
-
-The emphasis was very slight, but it meant a great deal. It never
-occurred to her that a thing which concerned her so closely should have
-been kept from herself; the question was why should we know; and I
-confess I felt very much ashamed of having any say in it, when I met the
-calm, astonished look of her eyes.
-
-‘It is getting a little chilly,’ she said, rising up. ‘I think it is
-time to go indoors.’
-
-We all followed her quite humbly, and the General came stalking after
-us, more like a thunder-cloud than ever. He had been talking to poor
-Simms in a voice which was not pleasant, and he appeared at the
-drawings-room window by which we all entered with the large lion-skin in
-his arms.
-
-‘I can’t have this left out all night in those heavy dews,’ he said. I
-do not think I ever saw those signs of suppressed irritation, which are
-too common in families, among the Stamfords before.
-
-Next morning General George came in for a moment before I had
-breakfasted, to tell me for my satisfaction that all was right. His face
-was quite clear again. ‘I was a little cross last night. I fear you may
-have supposed that I for a moment doubted my sister. Not a moment, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. I have got to give him his answer, poor old fellow. I can’t
-help feeling a little sorry for him all the same. What bad luck for the
-poor old beggar! Of all the women there to hit upon the one who was
-simply hopeless! Some men always have that sort of fate.’
-
-‘He showed his taste,’ said I; ‘but I heard he was the luckiest man in
-the world, General; that he always succeeded in everything; that however
-wild the project was, he was the man to carry it through.’
-
-I said this partly in malice, I am bound to admit, and I was very
-successful. The General’s face clouded over again: he set his teeth. ‘He
-shall not succeed this time;’ and he said something more in his
-moustache, some stronger words which I was not intended to hear. It was
-all over then, this odd little episode. I stood and watched him from my
-door half relieved, half wondering. Was it all over? I did not feel so
-satisfied or so certain as General George.
-
-A few days of perfect quiet ensued. When a week passed we all felt
-really satisfied. It was over then? Mr. Oakley had accepted his refusal.
-To be sure one did not see what else he could have done, though I
-confess that I had not expected it for my part. However, on the Sunday
-morning the moment I looked across to the Stamfords’ pew after getting
-settled in my own, it seemed to me that I could see indications of a new
-event. Both Mrs. St. Clair and Sophy were looking at me when I raised my
-head; they could not restrain themselves. They gave me anxious,
-significant glances with little hardly perceptible signs of the head and
-hand. When the service was over, and we were going out, Sophy was at my
-side in a moment. We were not actually out of church when I felt her arm
-slide into mine and a whisper in my ear. ‘She has got a letter!’ Sophy
-said, all in a tremble of eagerness. Mrs. St. Clair came up on the other
-side as soon as we were clear of the stream of people. ‘It is getting
-really serious,’ she said; ‘he will not take a refusal. It is quite
-absurd, and George is dreadfully angry. _He_ is just as absurd on the
-other side.’
-
-‘And what does Ursula say?’
-
-‘Oh, Ursula does not say anything. Of course we could not help knowing
-about the letter. It was very long and very much in earnest----’
-
-‘Oh, quite impassioned!’ cried Sophy. She had not encountered anything
-so exciting for years. She was pale with interest and emotion, shaking
-her head in intense seriousness. ‘He says that he appeals to her sense
-of justice not to condemn him without a hearing. It is quite beautiful.
-I am sure he is a nice man.’
-
-‘And then, you know, there is the other side of the question,’ said Mrs.
-St. Clair seriously. ‘I did not quite understand when we spoke of it
-last. Charlie says he is immensely rich--not just ordinarily comfortable
-like so many people, but a true millionnaire. That changes the aspect of
-the matter a little, don’t you think? Not that I am a mercenary person,
-still less Ursula; but when you come to think of it, wealth to that
-extent is something to be considered. Just fancy the good she might do,’
-cried the sensible sister, ‘and the number of young people we have
-looking to us! I do think it is not exactly right to ignore that side of
-the question.’
-
-‘Charlie thinks it is quite wrong,’ said Sophy, shaking her head.
-
-The General had not even stopped to say ‘Good morning’ outside the
-church door as he usually did. It was his brother Charles who was with
-Ursula. The General walked straight home, without looking to the right
-hand or the left. I felt a great sympathy for him. It was he that would
-feel it most _if anything happened_; and he was the only one of the
-family who had that fantastic delicacy of sentiment which some of us
-feel for those we love, so that the merest touch of anything that could
-be called ridicule, seemed sacrilege and desecration to him.
-
-I must not attempt to go in detail into all that followed. Miss Stamford
-wrote a very beautiful letter (they all told me) to her antiquated
-lover, telling him how sorry she was to be the cause of any annoyance to
-him, and hoping that the vexation would be but temporary, as indeed she
-felt sure it must be--but that his proposals were quite out of the
-question. This, of course, was what every woman would have said in the
-circumstances. But neither did Mr. Oakley take this for an answer. There
-was another letter by return of post in which they said he implored her
-to believe that nothing about the matter was temporary--that it was a
-question of life and death to him; that now was his only chance of
-happiness. Happiness! for a man of sixty-five! For my part I could not
-help laughing, but it was no laughing matter for the household at
-Brothers-and-Sisters. A few days after this I met Mr. Oakley himself on
-his way to the house. He recognized me at once, but naturally he did not
-know who I was. He took me for one of the family, and came up to me
-carrying his hat in his hand. He was a very handsome old man. His hair
-was snow-white, a mass of it rising up in waves from his forehead, with
-eyebrows still black and strongly marked, and the finest brilliant dark
-eyes. I said to myself mentally: ‘If it had been I, I should have given
-in at once.’ And his manners were beautiful--not the manners of
-society--the deferential respect of a man who knows women chiefly
-through books, and does not understand the free and easy modern way of
-treating us. He kept his hat in his hand as he stood and spoke. ‘I do
-not know,’ he said, ‘if I have the honour of speaking to a sister of
-Miss Stamford’s, but I know I met you there.’
-
-‘Not a sister, but a very affectionate friend,’ I said. His face lighted
-up instantly; he almost loved me for saying so. ‘Then if that is the
-case we ought to be friends too,’ he said. I was so much interested that
-I turned and walked with him, regardless of prudence. What would the
-Stamfords say if they saw me thus identifying myself with the cause of
-their assailant? but the interest of this strange little romance carried
-me away.
-
-‘I must see her,’ he said. ‘Don’t you think I have a right to see her?
-They need not surely grudge me one opportunity of pleading my own cause.
-No, indeed, I don’t blame them. If I had such a treasure--nay,’ he went
-on with a smile, ‘_when_ I have that treasure, I will guard it from
-every wind that blows. I don’t wonder at their precautions. But Stamford
-does not treat me with generosity; he does not trust to my honour: that
-is why I adopt his own tactics. I must try to effect an entrance while
-he is away.’
-
-‘I don’t think Ursula will have you, Mr. Oakley,’ I said.
-
-‘Perhaps not; but that remains to be seen. She has never seen me--that
-is, she has never seen the real John Oakley, only a director of her
-brother’s company, two different persons, Mrs. Mulgrave, if you will
-allow me to say so.’
-
-‘But she saw you before she knew you were a director. She travelled with
-you. You were the gentleman like Don Quixote----’
-
-How foolish I was! Of course I ought not to have said it. I felt that
-before the words were out of my mouth. Such encouragement as this was
-enough to counterbalance any number of severities. ‘Ah! I am like Don
-Quixote, am I?’ he said; and once more, and more brightly than ever, his
-handsome old face blazed into the brightest expression. Poor Mr. Oakley!
-I threw myself heart and soul into his faction after this; for indeed,
-as I afterwards heard, he had not at all a pleasant ‘time,’ as the
-Americans say, that afternoon. When he sent in his name at
-Brothers-and-Sisters he was told that the ladies were out, and, though
-he waited, all that he managed to obtain was a hurried interview with
-Mrs. St. Clair, who conveyed to him Ursula’s entreaty that he would
-accept her answer as final, and not ask to see her. Sophy told me after
-(she must have hidden herself somewhere, for nobody but Frances was
-supposed to be present) that his behaviour was beautiful. He bowed to
-the ground, she said, and declared that no one could be so much
-interested as he was in observing Miss Stamford’s slightest wish; that
-he would not for the world intrude upon her, but wait her pleasure
-another time. Mrs. St. Clair’s heart softened too, and she did not
-protest, as perhaps she ought to have done, against this ‘other time.’
-He passed by my cottage as he went away, and I do not deny that I was in
-my little garden looking out, ‘I have had no luck,’ he said, shaking his
-head, but still with a smile, ‘no luck to-day; but another time I shall
-succeed better.’
-
-I ran to the gate, I felt so much interested. ‘Do you really think, Mr.
-Oakley,’ I said, ‘that it is worth your while to persevere?’
-
-‘Worth my while?’ he said; ‘certainly it is worth my while: for I am in
-no hurry. I can bide my time.’
-
-Bide his time at sixty-five! I stood and looked at him as long as he was
-in sight. There is nothing like courage for securing the sympathy of the
-bystanders.
-
-After this the excitement ran very high both in the house of the
-Stamfords and in the community in general. We all took sides: and while
-General George made himself more and more disagreeable, and we all
-watched and spied her every action, Ursula was subjected all the time to
-a ceaseless assault from the other side. Letters poured upon her;
-beautiful baskets of flowers arrived suddenly, secretly, so that no one
-knew how they came. After a while, when the autumn commenced, there came
-hampers of game and of fruit, all in the same anonymous, magnificent
-way. And then the clever old man found out a still more effectual way of
-siege. The Stamfords had always nephews who wanted appointments or who
-required to be pushed. For instance, there was young Charley, of the
-Inner Temple, sadly in want of a brief: when lo! all at once, briefs
-began to tumble down from heaven upon the young man. In a week he had
-more business than he knew what to do with. And Willie Thistlethwaite
-had a living offered to him; and Cecil, whom they were so anxious to
-place with an engineer, though the premium was so serious a matter,
-suddenly found a place open to him with no premium at all. I believe in
-my heart that it was Mr. Charles Stamford who helped the old lover to
-recommend himself in this effectual, quiet way; for how should he have
-found out all the nephews without help? But as one of these mysterious
-benefits after another happened to the distant members of the family,
-the feeling rose stronger and stronger among all their friends. We set
-down everything, from the flowers to the living, unhesitatingly to Mr.
-Oakley; and at last public sentiment on the Green got to such a pitch
-that whereas people had laughed at the whole matter at first as little
-more than a joke, everybody now grew indignant, and protested that
-Ursula Stamford ought to be cut and sent to Coventry if she did not
-marry Don Quixote. I don’t know who had betrayed this description which
-she had herself given of him. But everybody now called him Don Quixote,
-and the whole community took his cause to heart. While this feeling rose
-outside, a wave of the same sentiment, but still more powerful, got up
-within. Mr. Charles spoke out and declared (as, indeed, he had done from
-the first) that to neglect such an opportunity of strengthening the
-family influence would be a mere flying in the face of Providence; and
-then something still more extraordinary happened. Frances herself--who
-looked upon all married ladies in the light of prospective widows, and
-regarded the one state only as a preparation for the other--Frances
-herself suddenly threw off her allegiance to the General and went over
-boldly to the other side. Sophy had been Mr. Oakley’s champion all
-along. They began to turn upon Ursula, to accuse her of behaving badly
-to her unwearied suitor--they accused her of playing fast and loose, of
-amusing herself with his devotion. They raised a family outcry against
-her, and brought down all the married sisters and the distant brothers
-upon her, with a storm of disapproving letters. ‘The man that has
-provided for my Cecil,’ one indignant lady wrote, ‘surely, _surely_,
-deserves better at _my_ sister’s hands;’ and ‘I really think, my dear
-Ursula, that any petty objections of your own should yield before the
-evident advantage to the family,’ was what the eldest brother of all,
-the father of the young barrister, said. On the other side, with gloom
-on his face, and a sneer upon his lip (where it was so completely out of
-place), and a bitter jibe now and then about the falsity and weakness of
-women, General George stood all alone, and kept a jealous watch upon
-her. His love for his favourite sister seemed to have turned to gall. He
-would have none of her usual services; he no longer consulted her about
-anything--no longer told her what he was going to do. It is to be
-supposed that by this cruel method the General intended to prove to his
-sister how much kinder and better a master he was than any other she
-could aspire to; but if this was the case, he took a very curious way of
-showing his superiority. And Ursula stood between these two parties, her
-home and her life becoming more and more unbearable every day.
-
-At last she took a sudden resolution. Sophy ran over to tell me of it
-late one September evening. There were tears in Sophy’s eyes, and she
-was full of awe. ‘Ursula has made up her mind, she said, almost below
-her breath. ‘It is all over, Mrs. Mulgrave. She has written him a
-_terrible_ letter--it is quite beautiful, but it is something terrible
-at the same time; and she is going off _abroad_ to-morrow. She says she
-cannot bear it any longer; she says we are killing her. She says she
-must make an end of it, and that she will go away. Poor Mr. Oakley!’
-Sophy said, and cried. As for me, I also felt deeply impressed and a
-little awe-stricken, but I had a lingering faith in Don Quixote
-notwithstanding all.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-There had been very little time left for preparations, and hardly any
-one, Sophy told me, was aware they were going away. Except myself, no
-one of the neighbours knew. All the arrangements were hastily made.
-Ursula wanted to be gone if possible before Mr. Oakley could take any
-further step. I went over early next morning to see if I could be of any
-use. Ursula was in her room, doing her packing. To see her in her old
-black silk with her simple little cap covering her gray hair, and to
-think she was being driven from her home by the importunities of a
-too-ardent lover, struck me as more ridiculous than it had ever done
-before. She saw it herself, and laughed as she stood for a moment before
-the long glass, in which she had caught a glimpse of herself.
-
-‘I am a pretty sort of figure for all this nonsense,’ she said,
-permitting herself for the first time an honest laugh on the subject;
-but then her face clouded once more. ‘The truth is,’ she said, ‘it would
-all be mere nonsense, but for George. It is he that takes it so much to
-heart.’
-
-‘Indeed,’ said I. ‘I think it is not at all nice of the General; and I
-don’t think it would be nonsense in any case. There is some one else I
-acknowledge, Ursula, that I think of more than the General.’
-
-She did not say anything more. Her face paled, then grew red again, and
-she went on with her packing. It is needless to say that I was of no
-manner of use. I got rid of a little of my own excitement by going, that
-was all. I went again in the evening to see the last of them. It was a
-lovely September evening. There had been a wonderfully fine sunset, and
-the whole horizon was still flaming, the trees standing out almost black
-in their deep greenness, though touched with points of yellow, against
-the broad lines of crimson and wide openings of wistful green blueness
-in the sky. The days were already growing short. There is no time of the
-year at which one gets so much good of the sunset. As I went across the
-corner of the Green the gables and irregular chimneys of the old house
-stood up among the heavy foliage against the lower band of colour where
-the green and blue died into yellow the ‘daffodil sky’ of the poet. They
-too looked black against that light, and there was a wistful look, I
-thought, about the whole place, protesting dumbly against its
-abandonment. Why should people go away from such a pleasant and peaceful
-place to wander over the world? There was a solitary blackbird singing
-clear and loud, filling the whole air with his song. I wonder if that
-song is really much less beautiful than the nightingale’s. I was
-thinking how blank and cold the house would be when they were all gone.
-The chimneys and gables already looked so cold, smokeless, fireless,
-appealing against the glare of the summer, which carried away the
-dwellers inside, and extinguished the cheerful fire of home. As I went
-in I saw the fly from the ‘Barleymow’ creeping along towards the house
-to carry the luggage to the station. The old white horse came along
-quite reluctantly, as if he did not like the errand. I suppose all that
-his slow pace meant was that he had gone through a long day’s work, and
-was tired; but it is so natural to convey a little of one’s own feelings
-to everything, even the chimneys of the old house. There was nobody
-down-stairs when I went in. Simms told me in a dolorous tone that Miss
-Stamford was putting on her bonnet.
-
-‘And I don’t like it, ma’am--I don’t like it--going away like this, just
-when the country’s at its nicest. If it was the General for his bit of
-sport, his shooting, or that, I wouldn’t mind,’ said Simms; ‘but what
-call have the ladies got away from home? They’ll go a-catching fevers or
-something, see if they don’t. It’s tempting Providence.’
-
-‘I hope not, Simms,’ said I; but Simms took no comfort from my hoping.
-He shook his head and he uttered a groan as he set a chair for me in the
-centre of the drawing-room. No more cosy corners, the man seemed to
-say--no more low seats and pleasant talk--an uncompromising chair in the
-middle of the room, and a business object. These were all of which the
-old drawing-room would be capable when the ladies were away. I set down
-Simms along with the house itself, protesting with all its chimneys, and
-the old white horse lumbering reluctantly along to fetch the luggage,
-and the blackbird remonstrating loudly among the trees. They were all
-opposed to Ursula’s departure, and so was I.
-
-The door opened, and Sophy came in more despondent than all of these
-sundry personages and things put together. ‘They are rather late--the
-boxes are just being put on to the fly. Will you come out here and bid
-her good-bye?’ said Sophy, who was limp with crying. I never could tell
-whether it was imagination or a real quickening of my senses, but at
-that moment, as I rose to follow Sophy, I heard as clearly as I ever
-heard it in my life the galloping of horses on the dry, dusty summer
-road. I heard it as distinctly as I hear now the soft dropping of the
-rain, a sound as different as possible from all the other sounds I had
-been hearing--horses galloping at their very best, a whip cracking, the
-sound of a frantic energy of haste. Then I went out into the hall,
-following Sophy. It must have been imagination, for with all these lawns
-and shrubberies round, one could not, you may well believe, hear passing
-carriages like that. Ursula was standing at the foot of the stairs in
-her travelling dress. It was a large, long hall, more oblong than
-square, into which all the rooms opened; the drawing-room was opposite
-the outer door, and the General’s room (the library as it was called)
-was further back nearer the stairs. He was inside, but the door was
-open. Ursula stood outside talking to the cook, who was to be a kind of
-housekeeper while they were away. ‘Don’t trouble Miss Sophy except when
-you are perplexed yourself. On ordinary occasions you will do quite
-nicely, I am sure; you will do everything that is wanted,’ she was
-saying in her kind, cheerful voice, for Ursula did not show any
-appearance of regret, though all of us who were staying behind were
-melancholy. The men were hoisting up the trunks with which the hall was
-encumbered on the top of the fly, which was visible with its old white
-horse standing tired and pensive at the open door. And Mrs. St. Clair
-appeared behind her sister, slowly coming down-stairs with a cloak over
-her arm and a bag in her hand. There was nothing left but to say
-good-bye and wish them a good journey and a speedy return.
-
-But all at once in a moment there was a change. The horses I had been
-dreaming of, or had heard in a dream, drew up with a whirlwind of sound
-at the gate. Then something darted across the unencumbered light beyond
-the fly and came between the old white horse and the door. I think
-he--for to use any neutral expressions about _him_ from the first moment
-at which he showed himself would be impossible--I think he lifted his
-hand to the men who were putting up the trunks to arrest them; at all
-events they stopped and scratched their heads and opened their mouths,
-and stood staring at him, as did Sophy and I, altogether confounded, yet
-with sudden elation in our hearts. He stepped past us all as lightly as
-any young paladin of twenty, taking off his hat. His white hair seemed
-all in a moment to light up everything, to quicken the place. Ursula was
-the last to see him. She was still talking quite calmly to the cook,
-though even Mrs. St. Clair on the stairs had seen the new incident, and
-had dropped her cloak in amazement. He went straight up to her, without
-a pause, without drawing breath. I am sure we all held ours in
-spellbound anxiety and attention. When Ursula saw him standing by her
-side she started as if she had been shot--she made a hasty step back and
-looked at him, catching her breath too with sudden alarm. But he had the
-air of perfect self-command.
-
-‘Miss Stamford,’ he said, ‘will you grant me half an hour’s interview
-before you go?’
-
-For the first time Ursula lost her self-possession; she fluttered and
-trembled like a girl, and could not speak for a moment. Then she
-stammered out, ‘I hope you will excuse me. We shall be--late for the
-train.’
-
-‘Half an hour?’ he said; ‘I only ask half an hour--only hear me, Miss
-Stamford, hear what I have got to say. I will not detain you more than
-half an hour.’
-
-Ursula looked round her helplessly. Whether she saw us standing gazing
-at her I cannot tell, or if she was conscious that the General behind
-her had come out to the door, and was standing there petrified, staring
-like the rest of us. She looked round vaguely, as if asking aid from the
-world in general. And whether her impetuous old lover took her hand and
-drew it within his arm, or if she accepted his arm, I cannot say. But
-the next thing of which we were aware was that they passed us, the two
-together, arm in arm, into the drawing-room. He had noted the open door
-with his quick eye, and there he led her trembling past us. Next moment
-it closed upon the momentous interview, and the chief actors in this
-strange scene disappeared. We were left all gazing at each other--Sophy
-and I at one side of the hall, Mrs. St. Clair on the stairs, where she
-stood as if turned to stone, her cloak fallen from her arm; and the
-General at the door of his room with a face like a thunder-cloud, black
-and terrible. We stared at each other speechless, the central object at
-which we had all been gazing withdrawn suddenly from us. There were some
-servants also of the party, Simms standing over Miss Stamford’s box, the
-address of which he affected to be scanning, and the cabman scratching
-his head. We all looked at each other with ludicrous, blank faces. It
-was the General who was the first to speak. He took no notice of us. He
-stepped out from his door into the middle of the hall, and pointed
-imperiously to the box. ‘Take all that folly away,’ he said harshly, and
-with another long step strode out of the house and disappeared.
-
-He did not come back till late that night, when all thoughts of the
-train had long departed from everybody’s head. Before that time need I
-say it was all settled? I had always been doubtful myself about Ursula.
-She had been afraid of making a joke of herself by a late marriage. She
-had shrunk, perhaps, too, at her time of life, from all the novelty and
-the change; but even at fifty-seven a woman retains her imagination, and
-it had been captivated in spite of herself by the bit of strange romance
-thus oddly introduced into her life. Is any one ever old enough to be
-insensible to the pleasure of being singled out and pursued with
-something that looked like real passion? I do not suppose so; Ursula had
-been alarmed by the softening of her own feelings; she had been
-remorseful and conscience-stricken about her secret treachery to her
-brother. In short, I had felt all along that she must have had very
-little confidence in herself when she was driven to the expedient of
-running away.
-
-They would not let me go, though I felt myself out of place at such a
-moment, so that I had my share in the excitement as I had in the
-suspense. And after all the struggle and the suspense it is
-inconceivable how easy and natural the settlement of the matter seemed,
-and what a relief it was that it should be decided.
-
-As soon as the first commotion was over Mrs. Douglas came to me, took
-my hands in hers, and led me out by the open window. ‘George!’ she said
-to me with a little gasp. ‘What shall we do about George? How will _he_
-take it? And if he comes in upon us all without any preparation, what
-will happen? I don’t know what to do.’
-
-‘He must know what has happened,’ said I; ‘he saw there was only one
-thing that could happen. He must know what he has to expect.’
-
-Mrs. St. Clair clasped her hands together. What with the excitement and
-the pleasure and the pain the tears stood in her eyes. ‘Ursula was
-always his favourite sister,’ she said; ‘how will he take it? and where
-is he?--wandering about, making himself wretched this melancholy night.’
-
-It was not in reality a melancholy night. It was dark, and the colour
-had gone out of the sky, which looked of a deep wintry blue between the
-black tree-tops which swayed in the wind. Mrs. St. Clair shivered a
-little, partly from the contrast with the bright room inside, partly
-from anxiety. ‘Where can he be?--where can he be wandering?’ she said.
-We had both the same idea--that he must have gone into the woods and be
-wandering about there in wild resentment and distress. ‘And we must not
-stay out here or Mr. Oakley will think something is wrong, and Ursula
-will be unhappy,’ she said with a sigh.
-
-It was then I proposed that I should stay outside to break the news to
-the General when he appeared--a proposal which, after a while, Mrs.
-Douglas was compelled to accept, though she protested--for after all, my
-absence would not be remarked, and it was easy to say that I had gone
-home, as I meant to do. But I cannot say that the post was a pleasant
-one. I walked about for some time in front of the house, and then I came
-and sat down in the porch ‘for company.’ There was nothing, as I have
-said, specially melancholy about the night, but the contrast of the
-scene within and this without struck the imagination. When a door opened
-the voices within came with a kind of triumph into the darkness where
-the disappointed and solitary brother was wandering: and so absorbed was
-I in thoughts of General George and his downfall that I almost missed
-the subject of them, who came suddenly round the corner of the house
-when I was not looking for him. It was he who perceived me, rather than
-I who was on the watch for him. ‘You here, Mrs. Mulgrave!’ he said in
-amazement. I believe he thought, as I started to my feet, that I had
-been asleep.
-
-‘General!’ I cried then in my confusion. ‘Stop here a moment, do not go
-in. I have something to say to you.’
-
-He laughed--which was a sound so unexpected that it bewildered me. ‘My
-kind friend,’ he said, ‘have you stayed here to break the news to me?
-But it is unnecessary--from the moment I saw Oakley arrive I knew how it
-must be. Ursula has been going--she has been going. I have seen it for
-three or four weeks past.’
-
-‘And, General! thank Heaven you are not angry, you are taking it in a
-Christian way.’
-
-He laughed again--a sort of angry laugh. ‘Am I taking it in a Christian
-way? I am glad you think so, Mrs. Mulgrave. When a thing cannot be cured
-it must be endured, you know. I am out of court-- I have no ground to
-stand upon, and he is master of the field. I don’t mean to make her
-unhappy whatever happens. Is he here still?’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said trembling. He offered me his arm precisely as Mr. Oakley
-had offered his to Ursula. ‘Then we’ll go and join them,’ he said.
-
-This was how it all ended. There was not a speck on his boots or the
-least trace of disorder. Instead of roaming the woods in despair, as we
-thought, he had been quietly drinking Lady Denzil’s delightful tea and
-playing chess with Sir Thomas. They had seen nothing unusual about him,
-we heard afterwards, and never knew that he ought to have been starting
-for the Continent when he walked in that evening, warmly welcomed to
-tea--which shows what sentimental estimates we women form about the
-feelings of men.
-
-The marriage took place very soon after. Mr. Oakley bought Hillhead, the
-finest place in the neighbourhood, very soon after; he was so rich that
-he bought a house whenever he found one that pleased him, as I might buy
-an old blue china pot. The one was a much greater extravagance to me
-than the other was to him. And they lived very happy ever after, and
-nobody, so far as I know, has ever had occasion to regret this love at
-first sight at sixty--this elderly romance.
-
-
-
-
-MRS. MERRIDEW’S FORTUNE
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-There are two houses in my neighbourhood which illustrate so curiously
-two phases of life, that everybody on the Green, as well as myself, has
-been led into the habit of classing them together. The first reason of
-this of course is, that they stand together; the second, that they are
-as unlike in every way as it is possible to conceive. They are about the
-same size, with the same aspect, the same green circle of garden
-surrounding them; and yet as dissimilar as if they had been brought out
-of two different worlds. They are not on the Green, though they are
-undeniably a part of Dinglefield, but stand on the Mercot Road, a broad
-country road with a verdant border of turf and fine trees shadowing over
-the hedgerows. The Merridews live in the one, and in the other are Mrs.
-Spencer and Lady Isabella. The house of the two ladies, which has been
-already described, is as perfect in all its arrangements as if it were a
-palace: a silent, soft, fragrant, dainty place, surrounded by lawns like
-velvet; full of flowers in perfect bloom, the finest kinds, succeeding
-each other as the seasons change. Even in autumn, when the winds are
-blowing, you never see a fallen leaf about, or the least symptom of
-untidiness. They have enough servants for everything that is wanted, and
-the servants are as perfect as the flowers--noiseless maids and
-soft-voiced men. Everything goes like machinery, with an infallible
-regularity; but like machinery oiled and deadened, which emits no creak
-nor groan. This is one of the things upon which Mrs. Spencer specially
-prides herself.
-
-And just across two green luxuriant hedges, over a lawn which is not
-like velvet, you come to the Merridews’. It is possible if you passed it
-on a summer day that, notwithstanding the amazing superiority of the
-other, you would pause longer, and be more amused with a glance into the
-enclosure of the latter house. The lawn is not the least like velvet;
-probably it has not been mown for three weeks at least, and the daisies
-are irrepressible. But there, tumbled down in the midst of it, are a
-bunch of little children in pinafores--‘_all_ the little ones,’ as Janet
-Merridew, the eldest daughter, expresses herself, with a certain soft
-exasperation. I would rather not undertake to number them or record
-their names, but there they are, a knot of rosy, round-limbed,
-bright-eyed, living things, some dark and some fair, with an amazing
-impartiality; but all chattering as best they can in nursery language,
-with rings of baby laughter, and baby quarrels, and musings of infinite
-solemnity. Once tumbled out here, where no harm can come to them, nobody
-takes any notice of the little ones. Nurse, sitting by serenely under a
-tree, works all the morning through, and there is so much going on
-indoors to occupy the rest.
-
-Mr. and Mrs. Merridew, I need not add, had a large family--so large that
-their house overflowed, and when the big boys were at home from school,
-was scarcely habitable. Janet, indeed, did not hesitate to express her
-sentiments very plainly on the subject. She was just sixteen, and a good
-child, but full of the restless longing for something, she did not know
-what, and visionary discontent with her surroundings, which is not
-uncommon at her age. She had a way of paying me visits, especially
-during the holidays, and speaking more frankly on domestic subjects than
-was at all expedient. She would come in, in summer, with a tap on the
-glass which always startled me, through the open window, and sink down
-on a sofa and utter a long sigh of relief. ‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave!’ she
-would say, ‘what a good thing you never had any children!’ taking off,
-as she spoke, the large hat which it was one of her grievances to be
-compelled to wear.
-
-‘Is that because you have too many at home?’ I said.
-
-‘Oh, yes, far too many; fancy, ten! Why should poor papa be burdened
-with ten of us? and so little money to keep us all on. And then a house
-gets so untidy with so many about. Mamma does all she can, and I do all
-I can; but how is it possible to keep it in order? When I look across
-the hedges to Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella’s and see everything so
-nice and so neat I could die of envy. And you are always so shady, and
-so cool, and so pleasant here.’
-
-‘It is easy to be neat and nice when there is nobody to put things out
-of order,’ said I; ‘but when you are as old as I am, Janet, you will get
-to think that one may buy one’s neatness too dear.’
-
-‘Oh, I delight in it!’ cried the girl. ‘I should like to have everything
-nice, like you; all the books and papers just where one wants them, and
-paper-knives on every table, and ink in the ink-bottles, and no dust
-anywhere. You are not so dreadfully particular as Mrs. Spencer and Lady
-Isabella. I think I should like to see some litter on the carpet or on
-the lawn now and then for a change. But oh, if you could only see our
-house! And then our things are so shabby: the drawing-room carpet is all
-faded with the sun, and mamma will never have the blinds properly
-pulled down. And Selina, the housemaid, has so much to do. When I scold
-her, mamma always stops me, and bids me recollect we can’t be as nice as
-you other people, were we to try ever so much. There is so much to do in
-our house. And then those dreadful big boys!’
-
-‘My dear,’ said I, ‘ring the bell, and we will have some tea; and you
-can tell Jane to bring you some of that strawberry jam you are so fond
-of--and forget the boys.’
-
-‘As if one could!’ said Janet, ‘when they are all over the place--into
-one’s very room, if one did not mind; their boots always either dusty or
-muddy, and oh, the noise they make! Mamma won’t make them dress in the
-evenings, as I am sure she should. How are they ever to learn to behave
-like Christians, Mrs. Mulgrave, if they are not obliged to dress and
-come into the drawing-room at night?’
-
-‘I dare say they would run out again and spoil their evening clothes, my
-dear,’ I said.
-
-‘That is just what mamma says,’ cried Janet; ‘but isn’t it dreadful to
-have always to consider everything like that? Poor mamma, too--often I
-am quite angry, and then I think--perhaps she would like a house like
-Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella’s as well as I should, if we had money
-enough. I suppose in a nice big house with heaps of maids and heaps of
-money, and everything kept tidy for you, one would not mind even the big
-boys.’
-
-‘I think under those circumstances most people would be glad to have
-them,’ said I.
-
-‘I don’t understand how anybody can like boys,’ said Janet, with
-reflective yet contemptuous emphasis. ‘A baby-boy is different. When
-they are just the age of little Harry, I adore them; but those great
-long-legged creatures, in their big boots! And yet, when they’re nicely
-dressed in their evening things,’ she went on, suddenly changing her
-tone, ‘and with a flower in their coats--Jack has actually got an
-evening coat, Mrs. Mulgrave, he is so tall for his age--they look quite
-nice; they look such gentlemen,’ Janet concluded, with a little sisterly
-enthusiasm. ‘Oh, how dreadful it is to be so poor!’
-
-‘I am sure you are very fond of them all the same,’ said I, ‘and would
-break your heart if anything should happen to them.’
-
-‘Oh, well, of course, now they are there one would not wish anything to
-happen,’ said Janet. ‘What did you say I was to tell Jane, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, about the tea? There now! Selina has never the time to be as
-nice as that--and Richards, you know, our man---- Don’t you think,
-really, it would be better to have a nice clean parlour-maid than a man
-that looks like a cobbler? Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella are always
-going on about servants,--that you should send them away directly when
-they do anything wrong. But, you know, it makes a great difference
-having a separate servant for everything. Mamma always says, “They are
-good to the children, Janet,” or, “They are so useful and don’t mind
-what they do.” We put up with Selina because, though she’s not a good
-housemaid, she is quite willing to help in the nursery; and we put up
-with nurse because she gets through so much sewing; and even the
-cook---- Oh, dear, dear! it is so disagreeable. I wish I were--anybody
-but myself.’
-
-Just at this moment my maid ushered in Mrs. Merridew, hastily attired in
-a hat she wore in the garden, and a light shawl wrapped round her. There
-was an anxious look in her face, which indeed was not very unusual
-there. She was a little flushed, either by walking in the sunshine or by
-something on her mind.
-
-‘You here, Janet,’ she said, when she had shaken hands with me, ‘when
-you promised me to practise an hour after luncheon? Go, my dear, and do
-it now.’
-
-‘It is so hot. I never can play in the middle of the day; and oh, mamma,
-please it is so pleasant here,’ pleaded Janet, nestling herself close
-into the corner of the sofa.
-
-‘Let her stay till we have had some tea,’ I said. ‘I know she likes my
-strawberry jam.’
-
-Mrs. Merridew consented, but with a sigh; and then it was that I saw
-clearly she must have something on her mind. She did not smile, as
-usual, with the indulgent mother’s smile, half disapproving, yet
-unwilling to thwart the child. On the contrary, there was a little
-constraint in her air as she sat down, and Janet’s enjoyment of the jam
-vexed her, and brought a little wrinkle to her brow. ‘One would think
-you had not eaten anything all day,’ she said with a vexed tone, and
-evidently was impatient of her daughter’s presence, and wished her away.
-
-‘Nothing so nice as this,’ said Janet, with the frank satisfaction of
-her age; and she went on eating her bread and jam quite composedly,
-until Mrs. Merridew’s patience was exhausted.
-
-‘I cannot have you stay any longer,’ she said at length. ‘Go and
-practise now, while there is no one in the house.’
-
-‘Oh, mamma!’ said Janet, beginning to expostulate; but was stopped short
-by a look in her mother’s eye. Then she gathered herself up reluctantly,
-and left the paradise of my little tea-table with the jam. She went out
-pouting, trailing her great hat after her; and had to be stopped as she
-stepped into the blazing sunshine, and commanded to put it on. ‘It is
-only a step,’ said the provoking girl, pouting more and more. And poor
-Mrs. Merridew looked so worried, and heated, and uncomfortable as she
-went out and said a few energetic words to her naughty child. Poor soul!
-Ten different wills to manage and keep in subjection to her own, besides
-all the other cares she had upon her shoulders. And that big girl who
-should have been a help to her, standing pouting and disobedient between
-the piano she did not care for, and the jam she loved.-- Sometimes such a
-little altercation gives one a glimpse into an entire life.
-
-‘She is such a child,’ Mrs. Merridew said, coming in with an apologetic,
-anxious smile on her face. She had been fretted and vexed, and yet she
-would not show it to lessen my opinion of her girl. Then she sank down
-wearily into that corner of the sofa from which Janet had been so
-unwillingly expelled. ‘The truth is, I wanted to speak to you,’ she
-said, ‘and could not while she was here. Poor Janet! I am afraid I was
-cross, but I could not help it. Something has occurred to-day which has
-put me out.’
-
-‘I hope it is something I can help you in,’ I said.
-
-‘That is why I have come: you are always so kind; but it is a strange
-thing I am going to ask you this time,’ she said, with a wistful glance
-at me. ‘I want to go to town for a day on business of my own; and I want
-it to be supposed that it is business of yours.’
-
-The fact was, it did startle me for the moment--and then I reflected
-like lightning, so quick was the process (I say this that nobody may
-think my first feeling hard), what kind of woman she was, and how
-impossible that she should want to do anything that one need be ashamed
-of. ‘That is very simple,’ I said.
-
-Then she rose hastily, and came up to me and gave me a sudden kiss,
-though she was not a demonstrative woman. ‘You are always so
-understanding,’ she said, with the tears in her eyes; and thus I was
-committed to stand by her, whatever her difficulty might be.
-
-‘But you sha’n’t do it in the dark,’ she went on; ‘I am going to tell
-you all about it. I don’t want Mr. Merridew to know, and in our house it
-is quite impossible to keep anything secret. He is on circuit now; but
-he would hear of “the day mamma went to town” before he had been five
-minutes in the house. And so I want you to go with me, you dear soul,
-and to let me say I went with you.’
-
-‘That is quite simple,’ I said again; but I did feel that I should like
-to know what the object of the expedition was.
-
-‘It is a long story,’ she said, ‘and I must go back and tell you ever so
-much about myself before you will understand. I have had the most
-dreadful temptation put before me to-day. Oh, such a temptation!
-resisting it is like tearing one’s heart in two; and yet I know I ought
-to resist. Think of our large family, and poor Charles’s many
-disappointments, and then, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, read that.’
-
-It was a letter written on a large square sheet of thin paper which she
-thrust into my hand: one of those letters one knows a mile off, and
-recognizes as lawyers’ letters, painful or pleasant, as the case may be;
-but more painful than pleasant generally. I read it, and you may judge
-of my astonishment to find that it ran thus:--
-
- ‘DEAR MADAM,--We have the pleasure to inform you that our late
- client, Mr. John Babington, deceased on the 10th of May last, has
- appointed you by his will his residuary legatee. After all his
- special bequests are paid, including an annuity of a hundred a year
- to his mother, with remainder to Miss Babington, his only surviving
- sister, there will remain a sum of about £10,000, at present
- excellently invested on landed security, and bearing interest at
- four and a half per cent. By Mr. Babington’s desire, precautions
- have been taken to bind it strictly to your separate use, so that
- you may dispose of it by will or otherwise, according to your
- pleasure, for which purpose we have accepted the office of your
- trustees, and will be happy to enter fully into the subject, and
- put you in possession of all details, as soon as you can favour us
- with a private interview.
-
-‘We are, madam,
-
-‘Your obedient servants,
-
-‘FOGEY, FEATHERHEAD & DOWN.’
-
-
-
-‘A temptation!’ I cried; ‘but, my dear, it is a fortune; and it is
-delightful: it will make you quite comfortable. Why, it will be nearly
-five hundred a year.’
-
-I feel always safe in the way of calculating interest when it is
-anything approaching five per cent.; five per cent. is so easily
-counted. This great news took away my breath.
-
-But Mrs. Merridew shook her head. ‘It looks so at the first glance,’ she
-said; ‘but when you hear my story you will think differently.’ And then
-she made a little uncomfortable pause. ‘I don’t know whether you ever
-guessed it,’ she added, looking down, and doubling a new hem upon her
-handkerchief, ‘but I was not Charles’s equal when we married: perhaps
-you may have heard----?
-
-Of course I had heard: but the expression of her countenance was such
-that I put on a look of great amazement, and pretended to be much
-astonished, which I could see was a comfort to her mind.
-
-‘I am glad of that,’ she said, ‘for you know--I could not speak so
-plainly to you if I did not feel that, though you are so quiet now, you
-must have seen a great deal of the world--you know what a man is. He may
-be capable of marrying you, if he loves you, whatever your condition
-is--but afterwards he does not like people to know. I don’t mean I was
-his inferior in education, or anything of that sort,’ she added, looking
-up at me with a sudden uneasy blush.
-
-‘You need not tell me that,’ I said; and then another uneasiness took
-possession of her, lest I should think less highly than was right of her
-husband.
-
-‘Poor Charles!’ she said; ‘it is scarcely fair to judge him as he is
-now. We have had so many cares and disappointments, and he has had to
-deny himself so many things--and you may say, Here is his wife, whom he
-has been so good to, plotting to take away from him what might give him
-a little ease. But oh, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, you must hear before you
-judge!’
-
-‘I do not judge,’ I said; ‘I am sure you must have some very good
-reason; tell me what it is.’
-
-Then she paused, and gave a long sigh. She must have been about forty, I
-think, a comely, simple woman, not in any way a heroine of romance; and
-yet she was as interesting to me as if she had been only half the age,
-and deep in some pretty crisis of romantic distress. I don’t object to
-the love stories either: but middle age has its romances too.
-
-‘When I was a girl,’ said Mrs. Merridew, ‘I went to the Babingtons as
-Ellen’s governess. She was about fifteen and I was not more than twenty,
-and I believe people thought me pretty. You will laugh at me, but I
-declare I have always been so busy all my life, that I have never had
-any time to think whether it was true: but one thing I know, that I was
-a very good governess. I often wish,’ she added, pausing, with a half
-comic look amid her trouble, ‘that I could find as good a governess as I
-was for the girls. There was one brother, John, and one other sister,
-Matilda; and Mr. Merridew was one of the visitors at the house, and was
-supposed to be paying _her_ attention. I never could see it, for my
-part, and Charles declares he never had any such idea; but _they_
-thought so, I know. It is quite a long story. John had just come home
-from the University, and was pretending to read for the bar, and was
-always about the house; and the end was that he fell in love with me.’
-
-‘Of course,’ said I.
-
-‘I don’t know that it was of course. I was so very shy, and dreaded the
-sound of my own voice; but he used to come after us everywhere by way of
-talking to Ellen, and so got to know me. Poor John! he was the nicest,
-faithful fellow--the sort of man one would trust everything to, and
-believe in and respect, and be fond of--but not love. Of course Charles
-was there too. It went on for about a year, such a curious, confused,
-pleasant, painful---- I cannot describe it to you--but you know what I
-mean. The Babingtons had always been kind to me; of course they were
-angry when they found out about John, but then when they knew I would
-not marry him, they were kinder than ever, and said I had behaved so
-very well about it. I was a very lonely poor girl; my mother was dead,
-and I had nowhere to go; and instead of sending me away, Mrs. Babington
-sent _him_ away--her own son, which was very good of her you know. To be
-sure I was a good governess, and they never suspected Charles of coming
-for me, nor did I. Suddenly, all at once, without the least warning, he
-found me by myself one day, and told me. I was a little shocked,
-thinking of Matilda Babington! but then he declared he had meant
-nothing. And so---- When the Babingtons heard of it, they were all
-furious; even Ellen, my pupil, turned against me. They sent me away as
-if I had done something wicked. It was very, very hard upon me; but yet
-I scarcely wonder, now I think of it. That was why we married so early
-and so imprudently. Mrs. Mulgrave, I dare say you have often wondered
-why it was?’
-
-I had to put on such looks of wonder and satisfied curiosity as I could;
-for the truth was, I had known the outlines of the story for years, just
-as every one knows the outlines of every one else’s story; especially
-such parts of it as people might like to be concealed. I cannot
-understand how anybody, at least in society, or on the verge of society,
-can for a moment hope to have any secrets. Charles Merridew was a cousin
-of Mr. Justice Merridew, and very well connected, and of course it was
-known that he married a governess; which was one reason why people were
-so shy of them at first when they came to the Green.
-
-‘I begin to perceive now why this letter should be a temptation to you,’
-I said; ‘you think Mr. Merridew would not like----’
-
-‘Oh, it is not that,’ she said. ‘Poor Charles! I don’t think he would
-mind. The world is so hard, and one makes so little head against it. No,
-it is because of Mrs. Babington. I heard she lost all her money some
-years ago, and was dependent on her son. And what can she do on a
-hundred a year? A hundred a year! Only think of it, for an old lady
-always accustomed to have her own way. It is horribly unjust, you know,
-to take it from her, his mother, who was always so good to him; and to
-give it to me, whom he has not seen for nearly twenty years, and who
-gave him a sore heart when he did know me. I could not take advantage of
-it. It is a great temptation, but it would be a great sin. And that is
-why,’ she added, with a sudden flush on her face, looking at me, ‘I
-should rather--manage it myself--under cover of you--and--not let
-Charles know.’
-
-She looked at me, and held me with her eye, demanding of me that I
-should understand her, and yet defying me to think any the worse of
-Charles. She was afraid of her husband--afraid that he would clutch at
-the money without any consideration of the wrong--afraid to trust him
-with the decision. She would have me understand her without words, and
-yet she would not have me blame Mr. Merridew. She insisted on the one
-and defied me to the other; an inconsistent, unreasonable woman! But I
-did my best to look as if I saw, and yet did not see.
-
-‘Then you want to see the lawyers?’ I said.
-
-‘I want to see Mrs. Babington,’ was her answer. ‘I must go to them and
-explain. They are proud people, and probably would resist--or they may
-be otherwise provided for. If that was the case I should not hesitate to
-take it. Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, when I look at all the children, and Janet
-there murmuring and grumbling, don’t you think it wrings my heart to put
-away this chance of comfort? And poor Charles working himself out. But
-it could not bring a blessing. It would bring a curse; I cannot take the
-bread out of the mouth of the old woman who was good to me, even to put
-it into that of my own child.’
-
-And here two tears fell out of Mrs. Merridew’s eyes. At her age people
-do not weep abundantly. She gave a little start as they fell, and
-brushed them off her dress, with, I don’t doubt, a sensation of shame.
-She to cry like a baby, who had so much to do! She left shortly after,
-with an engagement to meet me at the station for the twelve o’clock
-train next day. I was going to town on business, and had asked her to go
-with me--this was what was to be said to all the world. I explained
-myself elaborately that very evening to Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella,
-when I met them taking their walk after dinner.
-
-‘Mrs. Merridew is so kind as to go with me,’ I said; ‘she knows so much
-more about business than I do.’ And I made up my mind that I would go to
-the Bank and leave my book to be made up, that it might not be quite
-untrue.
-
-‘Fancy Mrs. Mulgrave having any business!’ said Lady Isabella. ‘Why
-don’t you write to some man, and make him do it, instead of all the
-trouble of going to town?’
-
-‘But Mrs. Merridew is going with me, my dear,’ I said; and nobody
-doubted that the barrister’s wife, with so much experience as she had,
-and so many things to do, would be an efficient help to me in my little
-affairs.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-The house we went to was a house in St. John’s Wood. Everybody knows the
-kind of place. A garden wall, with lilacs and laburnums, all out of
-blossom by this time, and beginning to look brown and dusty, waving over
-it; inside, a little bright suburban garden, full of scarlet geraniums,
-divided by a white line of pavement, dazzlingly clean, from the door in
-the wall to the door of the house; and a stand full of more scarlet
-geraniums in the little square hall. Mrs. Merridew became very much
-agitated as we approached. It was all that I could do to keep her up
-when we had rung the bell at the door. I think she would have turned and
-gone back even then had it been possible, but, fortunately, we were
-admitted without delay.
-
-We were shown into a pretty shady drawing-room, full of old furniture,
-which looked like the remnants of something greater, and at which she
-gazed with eyes of almost wild recognition, unconsciously pressing my
-arm, which she still held. Everything surrounding her woke afresh the
-tumult of recollections. She was not able to speak when the maid asked
-our names, and I was about to give them simply, and had already named my
-own, when she pressed my arm closer to her, and interposed all at once--
-
-‘Say two ladies from the country anxious to speak with her about
-business. She might not--know--our names.’
-
-‘Is it business about the house, ma’am?’ said the maid with some
-eagerness.
-
-‘Yes, yes; it is about the house,’ said Mrs. Merridew, hastily. And then
-the door closed, and we sat waiting, listening to the soft, subdued
-sounds in the quiet house, and the rustle of the leaves in the garden.
-‘She must be going to let it,’ my companion said hoarsely; and then rose
-from the chair on which she had placed herself, and began to move about
-the room with agitation, looking at everything, touching the things with
-her hands, with now and then a stifled exclamation. ‘There is where we
-used to sit, Ellen and I,’ she said, standing by a sofa, before which a
-small table was placed, ‘when there was company in the evenings. And
-there Matilda--oh, what ghosts there are about! Matilda is married,
-thank Heaven! but if Ellen comes, I shall never be able to face her. Oh,
-Mrs. Mulgrave, if you would but speak for me!’
-
-At this moment the door was opened. Mrs. Merridew shrank back
-instinctively, and sat down, resting her hand on the table she had just
-pointed out to me. The new-comer was a tall, full figure, in deep
-mourning, a handsome woman of five-and-thirty, or thereabouts, with
-bright hair, which looked all the brighter from comparison with the
-black depths of her dress, and a colourless, clear complexion. All the
-colour about her was in her hair. Though she had no appearance of
-unhealthiness, her very lips were pale, and she came in with a noiseless
-quiet dignity, and the air of one who felt she had pain to encounter,
-yet felt able to bear it.
-
-‘Pardon me for keeping you waiting,’ she said; and then, with a somewhat
-startled glance, ‘I understood you wanted to see--the house.’
-
-My companion was trembling violently; and I cleared my throat, and tried
-to clear up my ideas (which was less easy) to say something in reply.
-But before I had stammered out half-a-dozen words Mrs. Merridew rose,
-and made one or two unsteady steps towards the stranger.
-
-‘Ellen,’ she cried, ‘don’t you know me?’ and stopped there, standing in
-the centre of the room, holding out appealing hands.
-
-Miss Babington’s face changed in the strangest way. I could see that she
-recognized her in a moment, and then that she pretended to herself not
-to recognize her. There was the first startled, vivid, indignant glance,
-and then a voluntary mist came over her eyes. She gazed at the agitated
-woman with an obstinately blank gaze, and then turned to me with a
-little bow.
-
-‘Your friend has the advantage of me,’ she said; ‘but you were saying
-something? I should be glad, if that was what you wanted, to show you
-over the house.’
-
-It would be hard to imagine a more difficult position than that in which
-I found myself; seated between two people who were thus strangely
-connected with each other by bonds of mutual injury, and appealed to for
-something meaningless and tranquillizing, to make the intercourse
-possible. I did the best I could on the spur of the moment.
-
-‘It is not so much the house,’ I said, ‘though, if you wish to let it, I
-have a friend who is looking for a house; but I think there was some
-other business Mrs. Merridew had; something to say----’
-
-‘Mrs. Merridew!’ said Miss Babington, suffering the light once more to
-come into her eyes; and then she gave her an indignant look. ‘I think
-this might have been spared us at least.’
-
-‘Ellen,’ said Mrs. Merridew, speaking very low and humbly--‘Ellen, I
-have never done anything to you to make you so hard against me. If I
-injured your sister, it was unwittingly. She is better off than I am
-now. You were once fond of me, as I was of you. Why should you have
-turned so completely against me? I have come in desperation to ask a
-hearing from you, and from your mother, Ellen. God knows I mean nothing
-but good. And oh, what have I ever done?--what harm?’
-
-Miss Babington had seated herself, still preserving her air of dignity,
-but without an invitation by look or gesture to her visitor to be
-seated; and in the silent room, all so dainty and so sweet with flowers,
-with the old furniture in it, which reminded her of the past, the
-culprit of twenty years ago stood pleading between one of those whom she
-was supposed to have wronged and myself, a most ignorant and uneasy
-spectator. Twenty years ago! In the meantime youth had passed, and the
-hard burdens of middle age had come doubled and manifold upon her
-shoulders. Had she done nothing in the meantime that would tell more
-heavily against her than that girlish inadvertence of the past? Yet here
-she stood--not knowing, I believe, for the moment, whether she was the
-young governess in her first trouble, or the mother of all those
-children, acquainted with troubles so much more bitter--among the ghosts
-of the past.
-
-‘I would much rather not discuss the question,’ said Miss Babington,
-still seated, and struggling hard to preserve her calm. ‘All the grief
-and vexation we have owed to you in this house cannot be summed up in a
-moment. The only policy, I think, is to be silent. Your very presence
-here is an offence to us. What else could it be?’
-
-‘I should never have come,’ said Mrs. Merridew, moved by a natural prick
-of resentment, ‘but for what I have just heard---- I should never have
-returned to ask for pardon where I had done no wrong--had it not been
-for this--this that I feel to be unjust. Your poor brother John----’
-
-‘Stop!’ cried the other, her reserve failing. ‘Stop, oh! stop, you cruel
-woman! He was nothing to you but a toy to be played with--but he was my
-brother, my only brother; and you have made him an undutiful son in his
-very grave.’
-
-The tears were in her eyes, her colourless face had flushed, her soft
-voice was raised; and Mrs. Merridew, still standing, listened to her
-with looks as agitated--when all at once the door was again opened
-softly. The aspect of affairs changed in a moment. To my utter
-amazement, Mrs. Merridew, who was standing with her face to the door,
-made a quick, imperative, familiar gesture to her antagonist, and
-looked towards an easy-chair which stood near the open window. Miss
-Babington rose quickly to her feet, and composed herself into a sudden
-appearance of calm.
-
-‘Mamma,’ she said, going forward to meet the old lady, who came slowly
-in; ‘here are some ladies come upon business. This is--Mrs. Merridew.’
-She said the name very low, as Mrs. Babington made her way to her chair,
-and Mrs. Merridew sank trembling into her seat, unable, I think, to bear
-up longer. The old lady seated herself before she spoke. She was a
-little old woman, with a pretty, softly-coloured old face, and had the
-air of having been petted and cared for all her life. The sudden change
-of her daughter’s manner; the accumulation of every kind of convenience
-and prettiness, as I now remarked, round that chair; the careful way in
-which it had been placed out of the sun and the draught, yet in the air
-and in sight of the garden, told a whole history of themselves. And now
-Mrs. Merridew’s passionate sense that the alienation of the son’s
-fortune from the mother was a thing impossible, was made clear to me at
-once.
-
-‘Whom did you say, Ellen?’ said the old lady, when she was comfortably
-settled in her chair. ‘Mrs.----? I never catch names. I hope you have
-explained to the ladies that I am rather infirm, and can’t stand. What
-did you say was your friend’s name, my dear?’
-
-Her friend’s name! Ellen Babington’s face lightened all over as with a
-pale light of indignation.
-
-‘I said--Mrs. Merridew,’ she repeated, with a little emphasis on the
-name. Then there was a pause; and the culprit who was at the bar
-trembled visibly, and hid her face in her hands.
-
-‘Mrs. Merridew!---- Do you mean----? Turn me round, Ellen, and let me
-look at her,’ said the old lady with a curious catching of her breath.
-
-It was a change which could not be done in a moment. While the daughter
-turned the mother’s chair, poor Mrs. Merridew must have gone through the
-torture of an age; her hands trembled, in which she had hidden herself.
-But as the chair creaked and turned slowly round, and all was silent
-again, she raised her white face, and uncovered herself, as it were, to
-meet the inquisitor’s eye. It might have been a different woman, so
-changed was she: her eyes withdrawn into caves, the lines of her mouth
-drawn down, two hollows clearly marked in her cheeks, and every particle
-of her usual colour gone. She looked up appalled and overcome,
-confronting, but not meeting, the keen, critical look which old Mrs.
-Babington fixed upon her; and then there was again a pause; and the
-leaves fluttered outside, and the white curtains within, and a gay
-child’s voice, passing in the road without, suddenly fell among us like
-a bird.
-
-‘Ah!’ said the old lady, ‘that creature! Do you mean to tell me, Ellen,
-that she has had the assurance to come here? Now look at her and tell
-me what a man’s sense is worth. That woman’s face turned my poor boy’s
-head, and drove Charles Merridew out of his wits. Only look at her: is
-there anything there to turn anybody’s head now? She has lost her figure
-too; to be sure that is not so wonderful, for she is forty if she is a
-day. But there are you, my dear, as straight as a rush, and your sister
-Matilda as well. So that is Janet Singleton, our governess: I wonder
-what Charles thinks of his bargain now? I never saw a woman so gone off.
-Oh, Ellen, Ellen, why didn’t she come and show herself, such a figure as
-she is, before my poor dear boy was taken from us? My poor boy! And to
-think he should have gone to his grave in such a delusion! Ellen, I
-would rather now that you sent her away.’
-
-‘Oh, mamma, don’t speak like this,’ cried Ellen, red with shame and
-distress; ‘what does it matter about her figure? if that were all!--but
-she is going away.’
-
-‘Yes, yes, send her away,’ said the old lady. ‘You liked her once, but I
-don’t suppose even you can think there could be any intercourse now. My
-son left all his money to her,’ she added, turning to me--past his
-mother and his sister. You will admit that was a strange thing to do. I
-don’t know who the other lady is, Ellen, but I conclude she is a friend
-of yours. He left everything past us, everything but some poor pittance.
-Perhaps you may know some one who wants a house in this neighbourhood?
-It is a very nice little house, and much better furnished than most. I
-should be very glad to let it, now that I can’t afford to occupy it
-myself, by the year.’
-
-‘Mamma, the other lady is with Mrs. Merridew,’ said Ellen; ‘I do not
-know her----’ and she cast a glance at me, almost appealing to my pity.
-I rose up, not knowing what to do.
-
-‘Perhaps, my dear,’ I said, I confess with timidity, ‘we had better go
-away.’
-
-‘Unless you will stay to luncheon,’ said the old lady. ‘But I forgot--I
-don’t want to look at that woman any more, Ellen. She has done us enough
-of harm to satisfy any one. Turn me round again to my usual place, and
-send her away.’
-
-Mrs. Merridew had risen to her feet too. She had regained her senses
-after the first frightful shock. She was still ghastly pale, but she was
-herself. She went up firmly and swiftly to the old lady, put Ellen aside
-by a movement which she was unconscious of in her agitation, and
-replaced the chair in its former place with the air of one to whom such
-an office was habitual. ‘You used to say I always did it best,’ she
-said. ‘Oh, is it possible you can have forgotten everything! Did not I
-give him up when you asked me, and do you think I will take his money
-now? Oh, never, never! It ought to be yours, and it shall be. Oh, take
-it back, and forgive me, and say, “God bless you” once again.’
-
-‘Eh, what was that you said? Ellen, what does she say?’ said the old
-woman. ‘I have always heard the Merridews were very poor. Poor John’s
-fortune will be a godsend to them. Go away! I suppose you mean to mock
-me after all the rest you have done. I don’t understand what you say.’
-
-Yet she looked up with a certain eagerness on her pretty old face--a
-certain sharp look of greed and longing came into the blue eyes, which
-retained their colour as pure as that of youth. Her daughter towered
-above her, pale with emotion, but still indignant, yielding not a jot.
-
-‘Mamma, pay no attention,’ she said; ‘Mrs. Merridew may pity us, but
-what is that? surely we can take back nothing from her hands.’
-
-‘Pity! I don’t see how Janet Merridew can pity _me_. But I should like,’
-Mrs. Babington went on, with a little tremble of eagerness, ‘to know at
-least what she means.’
-
-‘This is what I mean,’ said Mrs. Merridew, sinking on her knees by the
-old lady’s chair: ‘that I will not take your money. It _is_ your money.
-We are poor, as you say; but we can struggle on as we have done for
-twenty years; and poor John’s money is yours, and not mine. It is not
-mine. I will not take it. It must have been some mistake. If he had
-known what he was doing he never would have left it to any one but you.’
-
-‘So I think myself,’ said the old lady, musing; and then was silent,
-taking no notice of any one--looking into the air.
-
-‘Mamma,’ said Ellen, behind her chair, ‘I can work for you, and Matilda
-will help us. It cannot be. It may be kind of--her--but it cannot,
-cannot be. Are we to take charity?--to live on charity? Mamma, she has
-no right to disturb you.’
-
-‘She is not disturbing me, my dear,’ said the old lady; ‘on the
-contrary. Whatever I might think of her, she used to be a girl of sense.
-And Matilda always carried things with a very high hand, and I never was
-fond of her husband. But I am very fond of my house,’ she added, after a
-pause; ‘it is such a nice house, Ellen. I think I should die if we were
-to leave it. I shall die very soon, most likely, and be a burden on
-nobody; but still, Ellen, if she meant it, you know----’
-
-‘Mamma, what does it matter what she means? you never can think of
-accepting charity. It will break my heart.’
-
-‘That is all very well to say,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘But I have lived a
-great deal longer than you have done, my dear, and I know that hearts
-are not broken so easily. It would break my heart to leave my nice
-house. Janet, come here, and look me in the face. I don’t think you were
-true to us in the old times. Matilda did carry things with a very high
-hand. I told her so at the time, and I have often told her so since; but
-I don’t think you were true to us, all the same.’
-
-‘I did not know--I did not mean----’ faltered Mrs. Merridew, leaning
-her head on the arm of the old lady’s chair.
-
-It was clear to me that the story had two sides, and that my friend was
-perhaps not so innocent as she had made herself out to be. But there was
-something very pitiful in the comparison between the passion of anxiety
-in her half-hidden face, and the calm of the old woman who was thus
-deciding on her fate.
-
-‘My dear, I am afraid you knew,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘You accepted my
-poor boy, and then, when I spoke to you, you gave him up, and took
-Charles Merridew instead. If I had not interfered, perhaps it would have
-been better; though, to be sure, I don’t know what we should have done
-with a heap of children. And as for poor John’s money, you know you have
-no more real right to it, no more than that other lady, who never saw
-him in her life.’
-
-‘She has the best possible right to it, mamma--he left it to her,’ said
-Ellen anxiously, over her shoulder. ‘Oh, why did you come here to vex
-us, when we were not interfering with you? I beg of you not to trouble
-my mother any more, but go away.’
-
-Then there was a moment of hesitation. Mrs. Merridew rose slowly from
-her knees. She turned round to me, not looking me in the face. She said,
-in a hoarse voice, ‘Let us go,’ and made a step towards the door. She
-was shaking as if she had a fever; but she was glad. Was that possible?
-She had delivered her conscience--and now might not she go and keep the
-money which would make her children happy? But she could not look me in
-the face. She moved as slowly as a funeral. And yet she would have
-flown, if she could, to get safely away.
-
-‘Janet, my dear,’ said the old lady, ‘come back, and let us end our
-talk.’
-
-Mrs. Merridew stopped short, with a start, as if a shot had arrested
-her. This time she looked me full in the face. Her momentary hope was
-over, and now she felt for the first time the poignancy of the sacrifice
-which it had been her own will to make.
-
-‘Come back, Janet,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘As you say, it is not your
-money. Nothing could make it your money. You were always right-feeling
-when you were not aggravated. I am much obliged to you, my dear. Come
-and sit down here, and tell me all about yourself. Now poor John is
-dead,’ she went on, falling suddenly into soft weeping, like a child,
-‘we ought to be friends. To think he should die before me, and I should
-be heir to my own boy--isn’t it sad? And such a fine young fellow as he
-was! You remember when he came back from the University? What a nice
-colour he had! And always so straight and slim, like a rush. All my
-children have a good carriage. You have lost your figure, Janet; and you
-used to have a nice little figure. When a girl is so round and plump,
-she is apt to get stout as she gets older. Look at Ellen, how nice she
-is. But then, to be sure, children make a difference. Sit down by me
-here, and tell me how many you have. And, Ellen, send word to the
-house-agent, and tell him we don’t want now to let the house; and tell
-Parker to get luncheon ready a little earlier. You must want something,
-if you have come from the country. Where are you living now? and how is
-Charles Merridew? Dear, dear, to think I should not have seen either of
-you for nearly twenty years!’
-
-‘But, mamma, surely, surely,’ cried Ellen Babington, ‘you don’t think
-things can be settled like this?’
-
-‘Don’t speak nonsense, Ellen; everything _is_ settled,’ said the old
-lady. ‘You know I always had the greatest confidence in Janet’s good
-sense. Now, my dear, hold your tongue. A girl like you has no right to
-meddle. I always manage my own business. Go and look after
-luncheon--that is your affair.’
-
-I do not remember ever to have seen a more curious group in my life.
-There was the old lady in the centre, quite calm, and sweet, and
-pleasant. A tear was still lingering on her eyelash; but it represented
-nothing more than a child’s transitory grief, and underneath there was
-nothing but smiles, and satisfaction, and content. She looked so pretty,
-so pleased, so glad to find that her comforts were not to be impaired,
-and yet took it all so lightly, as a matter of course, as completely
-unconscious of the struggle going on in the mind of her benefactress as
-if she had been a creature from a different world. As for Mrs. Merridew,
-she stood speechless, choked by feelings that were too bitter and
-conflicting for words. I am sure that all the advantages this money
-could have procured for her children were surging up before her as she
-stood and listened. She held her hands helplessly half stretched out, as
-if something had been taken out of them. Her eyes were blank with
-thinking, seeing nothing that we saw, but a whole world of the
-invisible. Her breast heaved with a breath half drawn, which seemed
-suspended half way, as if dismay and disappointment hindered its
-completion. It was all over then--her sacrifice made and accepted, and
-no more about it; and herself sent back to the monotonous struggle of
-life. On the other side of the pretty old lady stood Ellen Babington,
-pale and miserable, struggling with shame and pride, casting sudden
-glances at Mrs. Merridew, and then appealing looks at me, who had
-nothing to do with it.
-
-‘Tell her, oh, tell her it can’t be!’ she cried at last, coming to me.
-‘Tell her the lawyers will not permit it. It cannot be.’
-
-And Mrs. Merridew, too, gave me one pitiful look--not repenting, but
-yet---- Then she went forward, and laid her hand upon the old lady’s
-hand, which was like ivory, with all the veins delicately carved upon
-it.
-
-‘Say, God bless us, at least. Say, “God bless you and your children,”
-once before I go.’
-
-‘To be sure,’ said the old lady cheerfully. ‘God bless you, my dear, and
-all the children. Matilda has no children, you know. I should like to
-see them, if you think it would not be too much for me. But you are not
-going, Janet, when it is the first time we have met for nearly twenty
-years?’
-
-‘I must go,’ said Mrs. Merridew.
-
-She could not trust herself to speak, I could see. She put down her face
-and kissed the ivory hand, and then she turned and went past me to the
-door, without another word. I think she had forgotten my very existence.
-When she had reached the door she turned round suddenly, and fixed her
-eyes upon Ellen. She was going away, having given them back their
-living, without so much acknowledgment as if she had brought a nosegay.
-There was in her look a mute remonstrance and appeal and protest. Ellen
-Babington trembled all over; her lips quivered as if with words which
-pride or pain would not permit her to say; but she held, with both hands
-immovable, to the back of her mother’s chair, who, for her part, was
-kissing her hand to the departing visitor. ‘Good-bye; come and see us
-soon again,’ the old lady was saying cheerfully. And Ellen gazed, and
-trembled, and said nothing. Thus this strangest of visits came to an
-end.
-
-She had forgotten me, as I thought; but when I came to her side and my
-arm was within her reach, she clutched at it and tottered so that it was
-all I could do to support her. I was very thankful to get her into the
-cab, for I thought she would have fainted on the way. But yet she roused
-herself when I told the man to drive back to the station.
-
-‘We must go to the lawyer’s first,’ she said; and then we turned and
-drove through the busy London streets, towards the City. The clerks
-looked nearly baked in the office when we reached it, and the crowd
-crowded on, indiscriminate and monotonous. One feels one has no right to
-go to such a place and take any of the air away, of which they have so
-little. And to think of the sweet air blowing over our lawns and lanes,
-and all the unoccupied, silent, shady places we had left behind us! Such
-vain thoughts were not in Mrs. Merridew’s head. She was turning over and
-over instead a very different kind of vision. She was counting up all
-she had sacrificed, and how little she had got by it; and yet was going
-to complete the sacrifice, unmoved even by her thoughts.
-
-I confess I was surprised at the tone she took with the lawyer. She said
-‘Mr. Merridew and myself’ with a composure which made me, who knew Mr.
-Merridew had no hand in it, absolutely speechless. The lawyer
-remonstrated as he was in duty bound, and spoke about his client’s will;
-but Mrs. Merridew made very little account of the will. She quoted her
-husband with a confidence so assured that even I, though I knew better,
-began to be persuaded that she had communicated with him. And thus the
-business was finally settled. She had recovered herself by the time we
-got into the cab again. It is true that her face was worn and livid with
-the exertions of the day, but still, pale and weary as she was, she was
-herself.
-
-‘But, my dear,’ I said, ‘you quoted Mr. Merridew, as if he knew all
-about it; and what if he should not approve?’
-
-‘You must not think I have no confidence in my husband,’ she said
-quickly; ‘far from that. Perhaps he would not see as I do now. He would
-think of our own wants first. But if it comes to his ears afterwards,
-Charles is not the man to disown his wife’s actions. Oh, no, no; we have
-gone through a great deal together, and he would no more bring shame
-upon me, as if I acted when I had no right to act--than--I would bring
-shame upon him; and I think that is as much as could be said.’
-
-And then we made our way back to the station; but she said nothing more
-till we got into the railway-carriage, which was not quite so noisy as
-our cab.
-
-‘It would have been such a thing for us,’ she said then, half to
-herself. ‘Poor Charles! Oh, if I could but have said to him, “Don’t be
-so anxious; here is so much a year for the children.” And Jack should
-have gone to the University. And there would have been Will’s premium at
-once’ (_i.e._, to Mr. Willoughby, the engineer). ‘The only thing that I
-am glad of is that they don’t know. And then Janet; she breaks my heart
-when she talks. It is so bad for her, knowing the Fortises and all those
-girls who have everything that heart can desire. I never had that to
-worry me when I was young. I was only the governess. Janet’s talk will
-be the worst of all. I could have made the house so nice too, and
-everything. Well!--but then I never should have had a moment’s peace.’
-
-‘You don’t regret?’ I said.
-
-‘No,’ said Mrs. Merridew with a long sigh. And then, ‘Do you think I
-have been a traitor to the children?’ she cried suddenly, ‘taking away
-their money from them in the dark? Would Charles think me a traitor, as
-_they_ do? Is it always to be my part?--always to be my part?’
-
-‘No, no,’ I said, soothing her as best I could; but I was very glad to
-find my pony-carriage at the station, and to drive her home to my house
-and give her some tea, and strengthen her for her duties. Thus poor John
-Babington’s fortune was disposed of, and no one was the wiser, except,
-indeed, the old lady and her daughter, who were not likely to talk much
-on the subject. And Mrs. Merridew walked calmly across to her house in
-the dusk as if this strange episode of agitation and passion had been
-nothing more solid than a dream.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-We did not meet again for some days after this, and next time I saw her,
-which was on Sunday at church with her children, it seemed impossible to
-me to believe in the reality of the strange scene we had so recently
-passed through together. The calm curtain of ordinary decorums and
-ordinary friendliness had risen for a moment from Mrs. Merridew’s
-unexcited existence, revealing a woman distracted by a primitive sense
-of justice, rending her own soul, as it were, in sunder, and doing, in
-spite of herself and all her best instincts, what she felt was right.
-That she should have any existence separate from her children had never
-occurred to anybody before. Yet, for one day, I had seen her resist and
-ignore the claims of her children, and act like an independent being.
-When I saw her again she was once more the mother and nothing more,
-casting her eyes over her little flock, cognizant, one could see, of the
-perfection or imperfection of every fold and line in their dresses,
-keeping her attention upon each, from little Matty, who was restless and
-could not be kept quiet, up to Janet, who sat demure, and already caught
-the eye of visitors as one of the prettiest girls of Dinglefield. Mrs.
-Merridew remarked all with a vigilant mother’s eye, and as I gazed
-across at her in her pew, it was all but impossible for me to believe
-that this was the same woman who had clung so convulsively to my arm,
-whose face had been so worn and hollowed out with suffering. How could
-it be the same woman? She who had suffered poor John Babington to love
-her--and then had cast him off, and married her friend’s lover instead;
-who had established so firm an empire over a man’s heart, that, after
-twenty years, he had remembered her still with such intensity of
-feeling. How Janet would have opened her big eyes had it been suggested
-to her that her mother could have any power over men’s hearts; or,
-indeed, could be occupied with anything more touching or important than
-her children’s frocks or her butcher’s bills! I fear I did not pay much
-attention to the service that morning. I could not but gaze at them, and
-wonder whether, for instance, Mr. Merridew himself, who had come back
-from circuit, and was seated respectably with his family in church,
-yawning discreetly over Mr. Damerel’s sermon, remembered anything at
-all, for his part, of Matilda Babington or her brother. Probably he
-preferred to ignore the subject altogether--or, perhaps, would laugh
-with a sense of gratified vanity that there had been ‘a row,’ when the
-transference of his affections was discovered. And there she sat by his
-side, who had--had she betrayed his confidence? was she untrue to him in
-being this time true to her friends? The question bewildered me so that
-my mind went groping about it and about it. Once, I fear, she had been
-false to those whose bread she ate, and chosen love instead of
-friendship. Now was she false to the nearest of ties, the closest of all
-relationships, sitting calmly there beside him with a secret in her mind
-of which he knew nothing? ‘Falsely true!’--was that what the woman was
-who looked to the outside world a mere pattern of all domestic virtues,
-without any special interest about her, a wife devoted to her husband’s
-interest, a mother wrapped up, as people say, in her children? I could
-not make up my mind what to think.
-
-‘I hope you got through your business comfortably,’ Mrs. Spencer said to
-me as we walked home from church.
-
-‘With Mrs. Merridew’s assistance,’ said Lady Isabella, who was rather
-satirical. And the Merridews heard their own name, and stopped to join
-in the conversation.
-
-‘What is that about my wife?’ he said. ‘Did Mrs. Mulgrave have Mrs.
-Merridew’s assistance about something? I hope it was only shopping. When
-you have business you should consult me. She is a goose, and knows
-nothing about it.’
-
-‘I don’t think she is a goose,’ said I.
-
-‘No, perhaps not in her own way,’ said the serene husband, laughing;
-‘but every woman is a goose about business--I beg your pardon, ladies,
-but I assure you I mean it as a compliment. I hate a woman of business.
-Shopping is quite a different matter,’ he added, and laughed. Good
-heavens! if he had only known what a fool he looked, beside the silent
-woman, who gave me a little warning glance and coloured a little, and
-turned away her head to speak to little Matty, who was clinging to her
-skirts. A perfect mother! thinking more (you would have said) of Matty’s
-little frills and Janet’s bonnet-strings than of anything else in life.
-
-And that was all about it. The summer went on and turned to autumn and
-to winter and to spring again, with that serene progression of nature
-which nothing obstructs; and the children grew, and the Merridews were
-as poor as ever, managing more or less to make both ends meet, but
-always just a little short somewhere, with their servants chosen on the
-same principle of supplementing each other’s imperfect service as that
-which Janet had announced to me. For one thing, they kept their servants
-a long time, which I have noticed is characteristic of households not
-very rich nor very ‘particular.’ When you allow such pleas to tell in
-favour of an imperfect housemaid as that she is good to the children, or
-does not mind helping the cook, there is no reason why Mary, if she does
-not marry in the meantime, should not stay with you a hundred years. And
-the Merridews’ servants accordingly stayed, and looked very friendly at
-you when you went to call, and did their work not very well, with much
-supervision and exasperation (respectively) on the part of the mother
-and daughter. But the family was no poorer, though it was no richer. The
-only evidence of our expedition to town which I could note was, that it
-had produced a new pucker on Mrs. Merridew’s brow. She had looked
-sufficiently anxious by times before, but the new pucker had something
-more than anxiety in it. There was a sense of something better that
-might have been; a sense of something lost--a suspicion of bitterness.
-How all this could be expressed by one line on a smooth white forehead I
-cannot explain; but to me it was so.
-
-Now and then, too, a chance allusion would be made which recalled what
-had happened still more plainly. For instance, I chanced to be calling
-one afternoon, when Mr. Merridew came home earlier than usual from town.
-We were sitting over our five-o’clock tea, with a few of the children
-scrambling about the floor and Janet working in the corner. He took up
-the ordinary position of a man who has just come home, with his back to
-the fire, and regarded us with that benevolent contempt which men
-generally think it right to exhibit for women over their tea; and
-everything was so ordinary and pleasant, that I for one was taken
-entirely by surprise, and nearly let fall the cup in my hand when he
-spoke.
-
-‘I don’t know whether you saw John Babington’s death in the _Times_
-three or four months ago, Janet,’ he said, ‘did you? Why did you never
-mention it? It is odd that I should not have heard. I met Ellen to-day
-coming out of the Amyotts, where I lunched, in such prodigious mourning
-that I was quite startled. All the world might have been dead to look at
-her. And do you know she gave me a look as if she would have spoken. All
-that is so long past that it’s ridiculous keeping up malice. I wish you
-would call next time you are in town to ask for the old lady. Poor
-John’s death must have been a sad loss to them. I hear there was some
-fear that he had left his property away from his mother and sister. But
-it turned out a false report.’
-
-I did not dare to look at Mrs. Merridew to see how she bore it; but her
-voice replied quite calmly without any break, as if the conversation was
-on the most ordinary subject--
-
-‘Where did you manage to get so much news?’
-
-‘Oh, from the Amyotts,’ he said, ‘who knew all about it. Matilda, you
-know, poor girl’ (with that half laugh of odious masculine vanity which
-I knew in my heart he would be guilty of), ‘married a cousin of
-Amyott’s, and is getting on very well, they say. But think over my
-suggestion, Janet. I think at this distance of time it would be graceful
-on your part to go and call.’
-
-‘I cannot think they would like to see me now,’ she said in a low voice.
-Then I ventured to look at her. She was seated in an angular, rigid way,
-with her shoulders and elbows squared to her work, and the corners of
-her mouth pursed up, which would have given to any cursory observer the
-same impression it did to her husband.
-
-‘How hard you women are!’ he said. ‘Trust you for never forgiving or
-forgetting. Poor old lady, I should have thought anybody would have
-pitied her. But however it is none of my business. As for Ellen, she is
-a very handsome woman, though she is not so young as she once was. I
-should not wonder if she were to make a good marriage even now. Is it
-possible, Janet, after being so fond of her--or pretending to be, how
-can I tell?--that you would not like to say a kind word to Ellen now?’
-
-‘She would not think it kind from me,’ said Mrs. Merridew, still rigid,
-never raising her eyes from her work.
-
-‘I think she would: but at all events you might try,’ he said. All her
-answer was to shake her head, and he went away to his dressing-room
-shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head in bewildered comments to
-himself on what he considered the hard-heartedness of woman. As for me,
-I kept looking at her with sympathetic eyes, thinking that at least she
-would give herself the comfort of a confidential glance. But she did
-not. It seemed that she was determined to ignore the whole matter, even
-to me.
-
-‘I wish papa would take as much interest in us poor girls at home as he
-does in people that don’t belong to him,’ said Janet. ‘Mamma, I never
-can piece this to make it long enough. It may do for Marian’ (who was
-her next sister), ‘but it will never do for me.’
-
-‘You are so easily discouraged,’ said Mrs. Merridew. ‘Let me look at it.
-You girls are always making difficulties. Under the flounce your
-piecing, as you call it, will never be seen. Those flounces,’ she added,
-with a little laugh, which I knew was hysterical, ‘are blessings to poor
-folks.’
-
-‘I am sure I don’t think there is anything to laugh at,’ said poor
-Janet, almost crying: ‘when you think of Nelly Fortis and all the other
-girls, with their nice dresses all new and fresh from the dressmaker’s,
-and no trouble; while I have only mamma’s old gown, that she wore when
-she was twenty, to turn, and patch, and piece--and not long enough after
-all!’
-
-‘Then you should not grow so,’ said her mother, ‘and you ought to be
-thankful that the old fashion has come in again, and my old gown can be
-of use.’ But as she spoke she turned round and gave me a look. The tears
-were in her eyes, and that pucker, oh, so deeply marked, in her
-forehead. I felt she would have sobbed had she dared. And then before my
-eyes, as, I am sure, before hers, there glided a vision of Ellen
-Babington in her profound mourning, rustling past Mr. Merridew on the
-stairs, with heaps of costly crape, no doubt, and that rich black silk
-with which people console themselves in their first mourning. How could
-they take it all without a word? The after-pang that comes almost
-inevitably at the back of a sacrifice, was tearing Mrs. Merridew’s
-heart. I felt it go through my own, and so I knew. She had done it
-nobly, but she could not forget that she had done it. Does one ever
-forget?
-
-And then as I went home I fell into a maze again. Had she a right to do
-it? To sit at table with that unsuspicious man, and put her arm in his,
-and be at his side continually, and all the time be false to him?
-Falsely true! I could not get the words out of my mind.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-I do not now remember how long it was before I saw in the _Times_ the
-intimation of old Mrs. Babington’s death. I think it must have been
-about two years: for Janet was eighteen, and less discontented with
-things in general, besides being a great deal more contented than either
-her friends or his desired, with the civilities of young Bischam from
-the Priory, who was always coming over to see his aunt, and always
-throwing himself in the girl’s way. He had nothing except his commission
-and a hundred and fifty a year which his father allowed him, and she had
-nothing at all; and, naturally, they took to each other. It is this that
-makes me recollect what year it was. We had never referred to the matter
-in our frequent talks, Mrs. Merridew and I. But after the intimation in
-the _Times_, she herself broke the silence. She came to me the very next
-day. ‘Did you see it in the papers?’ she asked, plunging without preface
-into the heart of the subject: and I could not pretend not to
-understand.
-
-‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I saw it;’ and then stopped short, not knowing what to
-say.
-
-She had got a worn-out look in these two years, such as all the previous
-years in which I had known her had not given. The pucker was more
-developed on her forehead; she was less patient and more easily fretted.
-She had grown thin, and something of a sharp tone had come into her
-soft, motherly voice. By times she would be almost querulous; and nobody
-but myself knew in the least whence the drop of gall came that had so
-suddenly shown itself in her nature. She had fretted under her secret,
-and over her sacrifice--the sacrifice which had never been taken any
-notice of, but had been calmly accepted as a right. Now she came to me
-half wild, with the look of a creature driven to bay.
-
-‘It was for her I did it,’ she said; ‘she had always been so petted and
-cared for all her life. She did not know how to deny herself; I did it
-for her, not for Ellen. Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I cannot tell you how fond I
-was of that girl! And you saw how she looked at me. Never one word,
-never even a glance of response: and I suppose now----’
-
-‘My dear,’ I said, ‘you cannot tell yet; let us wait and see; now that
-her mother is gone her heart may be softened. Do not take any steps just
-yet.’
-
-‘Steps!’ she cried. ‘What steps can I take now? I have thrown altogether
-away from me what might have been of such use to the children. I have
-been false to my own children. Poor John meant it to be of use to us----’
-
-And then she turned away, wrought to such a point that nothing but tears
-could relieve her. When she had cried she was better; and went home to
-all her little monotonous cares again, to think and think, and mingle
-that drop of gall more and more in the family cup. Mr. Merridew was
-again absent on circuit at this time, which was at once a relief and a
-trouble to his wife. And everybody remarked the change in her.
-
-‘She is going to have a bad illness,’ Mrs. Spencer said. ‘Poor thing, I
-don’t wonder, with all those children, and inferior servants, and so
-much to do. I have seen it coming on for a long time. A serious illness
-is a dangerous thing at her age. All her strength has been drained out
-of her; and whether she will be able to resist----’
-
-‘Don’t be so funereal,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘she has something on her
-mind.’
-
-‘I think it is her health’ said Mrs. Spencer; and we all shook our heads
-over her altered looks.
-
-I had a further fright, too, some days after, when Janet came to me,
-looking very pale. She crept in with an air of secrecy which was very
-strange to the girl. She looked scared, and her hair was pushed up
-wildly from her forehead, and her light summer dress all dusty and
-dragging, which was unlike Janet, for she had begun by this time to be
-tidy, and feel herself a woman. She came in by the window as usual, but
-closed it after her, though it was very hot. ‘May I come and speak to
-you?’ she said in a whisper, creeping quite close to my side.
-
-‘Of course, my dear; but why do you shut the window?’ said I; ‘we shall
-be suffocated if you shut out the air.’
-
-‘It is because it is a secret,’ she said. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave, tell me, is
-there anything wrong with mamma?’
-
-‘Wrong?’ I said, turning upon her in dismay.
-
-‘I can’t help it,’ cried Janet, bursting into tears. ‘I don’t believe
-mamma ever did anything wrong. I can’t believe it: but there has been a
-woman questioning me so, I don’t know what to think.’
-
-‘A woman questioning you?’
-
-‘Listen,’ said Janet hastily. ‘This is how it was: I was walking down to
-the Dingle across the fields--oh! Mrs. Mulgrave, dear, don’t say
-anything; it was only poor Willie Bischam, who wanted to say good-bye to
-me--and all at once I saw a tall lady in mourning looking at us as we
-passed. She came up to us just at the stile at Goodman’s farm, and I
-thought she wanted to ask the way; but instead of that, she stopped me
-and looked at me. “I heard you called Janet,” she said; “I had once a
-friend who was called Janet, and it is not a common name. Do you live
-here? is your mother living? and well? and how many children are there?
-I should like to know if you belong to my old friend.”’
-
-‘And what did you say?’
-
-‘What could I say, Mrs. Mulgrave? She did not look cross or
-disagreeable, and she was a lady. I said who I was, and that mamma was
-not quite well, and that there were ten of us; and then she began to
-question me about mamma. Did she go out a great deal? and was she tall
-or short? and had she pretty eyes “like mine?” she said; and was her
-name Janet like mine? and then, when I had answered her as well as I
-could, she said, I was not to say a word to mamma; “perhaps it is not
-the Janet I once knew,” she said; “don’t say anything to her;” and then
-she went away. I was so frightened, I ran home directly all the way. I
-knew I might tell you, Mrs. Mulgrave; it is like something in a book, is
-it not, when people are trying to find out---- oh, you don’t think I can
-have done any harm to mamma?’
-
-Janet was so much agitated that it was all I could do to quiet her down.
-‘And I never said good-bye to poor Willie, after all,’ she said, with
-more tears when she had rallied a little. I thought it better she should
-not tell her mother, though one is very reluctant to say so to a girl;
-for Willie Bischam was a secret too. But he was going away, poor fellow,
-and probably nothing would ever come of it. I made a little compromise
-with my own sense of right.
-
-‘Forget it, Janet, and say nothing about it; perhaps it was some one
-else after all; and if you will promise not to meet Mr. Bischam
-again----’
-
-‘He goes to-night,’ said Janet, with a rueful look; and thus it was
-evident that on that point there was nothing more to be said.
-
-This was in the middle of the week, and on Saturday Mr. Merridew was
-expected home. His wife was ill, though she never had been ill before in
-her life; she had headaches, which were things unknown to her; she was
-out of temper, and irritable, and wretched. I think she had made certain
-that Ellen would write, and make some proposal to her; and as the days
-went on one by one, and no letter came---- Besides, it was just the
-moment when they had decided against sending Jack to Oxford. To pay
-Willie’s premium and do that at the same time was impossible. Mrs.
-Merridew had struggled long, but at last she was obliged to give in; and
-Jack was going to his father’s chambers to read law with a heavy heart,
-poor boy; and his mother was half distracted. All might have been so
-different; and she had sacrificed her boys’ interests, and her girls’
-interests, and her own happiness, all for the selfish comfort of Ellen
-Babington, who took no notice of her: I began to think she would have a
-brain fever if this went on.
-
-She was not at church on Sunday morning, and I went with the children,
-as soon as service was over, to ask for her. She was lying on the sofa
-when I went in, and Mr. Merridew, who had arrived late on Saturday, was
-in his dressing-gown, walking about the room. He was tired and irritable
-with his journey, and his work, and perennial cares. And she, with her
-sacrifice, and her secret, and perennial cares, was like tinder, ready
-in a moment to catch fire. I know nothing more disagreeable than to go
-in upon married people when they are in this state of mind, which can
-neither be ignored nor concealed.
-
-‘I don’t understand you, Janet,’ he was saying, as I entered; ‘women
-are vindictive, I know; but at least you may be sorry, as I am, that the
-poor old lady has died without a word of kindness passing between us:
-after all, we might be to blame. One changes one’s opinions as one gets
-on in life. With our children growing up round us, I don’t feel quite so
-sure that we were not to blame.’
-
-‘_I_ have not been to blame,’ she said, with an emphasis which sounded
-sullen, and which only I could understand.
-
-‘Oh no, of course; you never are,’ he said, with masculine disdain.
-‘Catch a woman acknowledging herself to be in fault! The sun may go
-wrong in his course sooner than she. Mrs. Mulgrave, pray don’t go away;
-you have seen my wife in an unreasonable mood before.’
-
-‘I am in no unreasonable mood,’ she cried. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave, stay. You
-know--oh, how am I to go on bearing this, and never answer a word?’
-
-‘My dear, don’t deceive yourself,’ he said, with a man’s provoking calm,
-‘you answer a great many words. I don’t call you at all a meek sufferer.
-Fortunately the children are out of the way. Confound it, Janet, what do
-you mean by talking of what you have to bear? I have not been such a
-harsh husband to you as all that; and when all I asked was that you
-should make the most innocent advances to a poor old woman who was once
-very kind to us both----’
-
-‘Charles!’ said Mrs. Merridew, rising suddenly from her sofa, I can’t
-bear it any longer. You think me hard, and vindictive, and I don’t know
-what. You, who ought to know me. Look here! I got that letter, you will
-see by the date, more than two years ago; you were absent, and I went
-and saw her: there--there! now I have confessed it; Mrs. Mulgrave
-knows---- I have had a secret from you for two years.’
-
-It was not a moment for me to interfere. She sat, holding herself
-hysterically rigid and upright on the sofa. Whether she had intended to
-betray herself or not, I cannot tell. She had taken the letter out of
-her writing-desk, which stood close by; but I don’t know whether she had
-resolved on this step or whether it was the impulse of the moment. Now
-that she had done it a dreadful calm of expectation took possession of
-her. She was afraid. He might turn upon her furious. He might upbraid
-her with despoiling her family, deceiving himself, being false, as she
-had been before. Such a thing was possible. Two souls may live side by
-side for years, and be as one, and yet have no notion how each will act
-in any sudden or unusual emergency. He was her husband, and they had no
-interest, scarcely any thought, that one did not share with the other;
-and yet she sat gazing at him rigid with terror, not knowing what he
-might do or say.
-
-He read the letter without a word; then he tossed it upon the table;
-then he walked all the length of the room, up and down, with his hands
-thrust very deeply into his pockets; then he took up the letter again.
-He had a struggle with himself. If he was angry, if he was touched, I
-cannot tell. His first emotions, whatever they were, he gulped down
-without a word. Of all sounds to strike into the silence of such a
-moment, the first thing we heard in our intense listening was the abrupt
-ring of a short excited laugh.
-
-‘How did you venture to take any steps in it without consulting me?’ he
-said.
-
-‘I thought--I thought----’ she stammered under her breath.
-
-‘You thought I might have been tempted by the money,’ he said, taking
-another walk through the room, while she sat erect in her terror, afraid
-of him. It was some time before he spoke again. No doubt he was vexed by
-her want of trust, and wounded by the long silence. But I have no clue
-to the thoughts that were passing through his mind. At last he came to a
-sudden pause before her. ‘And perhaps you were right, Janet,’ he said,
-drawing a long breath. ‘I am glad now to have been free of the
-temptation. It was wrong not to tell me--and yet I think you did well.’
-
-Mrs. Merridew gave a little choked cry, and then she fell back on the
-sofa--fell into my arms. I had felt she might do it, so strange was her
-look, and had placed myself there on purpose. But she had not fainted,
-as I expected. She lay silent for a moment, with her eyes closed, and
-then she burst into tears.
-
-I had no right to be there; but they both detained me, both the husband
-and wife, and I could not get away until she had recovered herself, and
-it was evident that what had been a tragical barrier between them was
-now become a matter of business, to be discussed as affecting them both.
-
-‘It was quite right the old lady should have it,’ Mr. Merridew said, as
-he went with me to the door, ‘quite right. Janet did only what was
-right; but now I must take it into my own hands.’
-
-‘And annul what she has done?’ I asked.
-
-‘We must consult over that,’ he said. ‘Ellen Babington, who has been so
-ungrateful to my wife, is quite a different person from her mother. But
-I will do nothing against Mrs. Merridew’s will.’
-
-And so I left them to consult over their own affairs. I had been thrust
-into it against my own will; but still it was entirely their affair, and
-no business of mine.
-
-Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella called to me from their lawn as I went
-out to ask how Mrs. Merridew was, and shook their heads over her.
-
-‘She should have the doctor,’ said Mrs. Spencer.
-
-‘But the doctor would not pay her bills for her,’ said Lady Isabella.
-
-And I had to answer meekly, as if I knew nothing about it, ‘I don’t
-think it is her bills.’
-
-This conversation detained me some time from my own house; and when I
-reached my cottage, my maid stood by the gate, looking out for me,
-shading her eyes with her hands. It was to tell me there was a lady
-waiting for me in the drawing-room: ‘A tall lady in mourning.’ And in a
-moment my heart smote me for some hard thoughts, and I knew who my
-visitor was.
-
-I found her seated by my table, very pale, but quite self-possessed. She
-rose when I went in, and began to explain.
-
-‘You don’t know me,’ she said. ‘I have no right to come to you; but once
-you came to--us--with Mrs. Merridew. Perhaps you remember me now? I am
-Ellen Babington. I want to speak to you about--my brother’s will. You
-may have heard that I have just lost----’
-
-‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I am very sorry. If there is anything I can do----’
-
-‘You can do all that I want from any one,’ she said. ‘Janet will never
-believe that I wanted to keep the money--now. I have seen all her
-children to-day at church; and I think, if she had been there, I should
-perhaps have been able--but never mind. Tell her I should like--if she
-would give her daughter Janet something out of the money--from me. She
-is a little like what her mother was. I am sure you are kind to them. I
-don’t even know your name.’
-
-‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ I said; and she gave a little bow. She was very
-composed, very well-bred, terribly sad; with a look of a woman who had
-no more to do in the world, and who yet was, Heaven help her! in the
-middle of her life, full of vigour, and capability, and strength.
-
-‘Will you tell Janet, please, that it is all settled?’ she said. ‘I
-mean, not the girl Janet, but her mother. Tell her I have settled
-everything. I believe she will hear from the lawyers to-morrow; but I
-could not let it come only from the lawyers. I cannot forgive her, even
-now. She thinks it is Matilda she has wronged; but it is me she has
-wronged, taking my brother from me, my only brother, after all these
-years. But never mind. I kissed the little child instead to-day--the
-quiet little one, with the gold hair. I suppose she is the youngest.
-Tell her I came on purpose to see them before I went away.’
-
-‘But why send this message through me?’ I said; ‘come and see _her_. I
-will take you; it is close by. And the sight of you will do her more
-good--than the money. Come, and let her explain.’
-
-I thought she hesitated for a moment, but her only answer was a shake of
-her head.
-
-‘What could she explain?’ she cried, with strange impetuosity. ‘He and I
-had been together all our lives, and yet all the while he cared nothing
-for his sister and everything for her. Do you think I can ever forgive
-her? but I never forgot her. I don’t think I ever loved any one so well
-in my life.’
-
-‘Oh, come and tell her so,’ said I.
-
-Again she shook her head. ‘I loved her as well as I loved him; and yet I
-hate her,’ she said. ‘But tell her I spoke to her Janet, and I kissed
-her baby; and that I have arranged everything with the lawyers about
-poor John’s will. I am sure you are a good woman. Will you shake hands
-with me for the children’s sake before I go?’
-
-Her voice went to my heart. I had only seen her once in my life before,
-but I could not help it. I went up to her and took her two hands, and
-kissed her; and then she, the stranger, broke down, and put her head on
-my shoulder and wept. It was only for a moment, but it bound us as if
-for our lives.
-
-‘Where are you going?’ I asked, when she went away.
-
-‘I am going abroad with some friends,’ she said hurriedly.
-
-‘But you will come to us, my dear, when you come back?’
-
-‘Most likely I shall never come back,’ she said hastily; and then went
-away alone out of my door, alone across the Green, with her veil over
-her face, and her black dress repulsing the sunshine. One’s sympathies
-move and change about like the winds. I had been so sorry for Mrs.
-Merridew an hour ago; but it was not for her I was most sorry now.
-
-And this was how it all ended. I was always glad that Mrs. Merridew had
-told her husband before the letter came next morning. And they got the
-money; and John went to the University, and Janet had new dresses and
-new pleasures, and a ring, of which she was intensely proud, according
-to Ellen’s desire. I dare say Ellen’s intention was that something much
-more important should have been given to the child in her name; but then
-Ellen Babington, being an unmarried woman, did not know how much a large
-family costs, nor what urgent occasion there is for every farthing, even
-with an addition so great as five hundred a year.
-
-I am afraid it did not make Mrs. Merridew much happier just at first.
-She wrote letters wildly, far and near, to everybody who could be
-supposed to know anything about Ellen; and wanted to have her to live
-with them, and to share the money with her, and I don’t know how many
-other wild fancies. But all that could be found out was that Ellen had
-gone abroad. And by degrees the signs of this strange tempest began to
-disappear--smoothed out and filled up as Nature smooths all traces of
-combat. The scars heal, new verdure covers the sudden precipice--the old
-gets assimilated with the new. By degrees an air of superior comfort
-stole over the house, which was very consolatory. Selina, the housemaid,
-married, and Richards retired to the inevitable greengrocery. And with a
-new man and new maids, and so much less difficulty about the bills, it
-is astonishing how the puckers died away from Mrs. Merridew’s
-forehead--first one line went, and then another, and she grew younger in
-spite of herself. And with everything thus conspiring in her favour, and
-habit calmly settling to confirm all, is it wonderful if by and by she
-forgot that any accident had ever happened, and that all had not come
-in the most natural way, and with the most pleasant consequences in the
-world?
-
-The other day I saw in a chance copy of _Galignani_, which came to me in
-a parcel from Paris, the marriage of Ellen Babington to a Frenchman
-there; but that is all we have ever heard of her. Whether it is a good
-marriage or a bad one I don’t know; but I hope, at least, it is better
-for her than being all alone, as she was when she left my house that day
-in June, having made her sacrifice in her turn. If things had but taken
-their natural course, how much unnecessary suffering would have been
-spared: Mrs. Merridew is, perhaps, happier now than she would have been
-without that five hundred a year--but for two years she was wretched,
-sacrificing and grudging the sacrifice, and making herself very unhappy.
-And though I don’t believe Ellen Babington cared for the money, her
-heart will never be healed of that pang of bitterness which her
-brother’s desertion gave her. His companion for twenty years! and to
-think his best thoughts should have been given all that time to a woman
-who had only slighted him, and refused his love. Mrs. Merridew does not
-see the sting of this herself--she thinks it natural. And so I dare say
-would half the world beside.
-
-
-
-
-THE BARLEY MOW
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-There was but one little harmless house of public entertainment at
-Dinglefield, a place not without its importance among us, with its
-little farm, and the fly with the old white horse which was an
-institution on the Green, and very serviceable when there was luggage to
-be carried to the railway, or any party going on in bad weather when our
-pony carriages could not be used.
-
-This was the Barley Mow, a favourite and picturesque little village
-public-house, the most inoffensive article of the kind, perhaps, which
-was to be found for miles and miles around. The Green itself was not
-like the trim and daintily-kept greensward, with orderly posts and
-railings, which is to be seen in many suburban hamlets. It was long,
-irregular, and just wild enough to be thoroughly natural. The lower end,
-near the Barley Mow, was smooth and neat, the best cricket ground that
-you could find in the neighbourhood. But the upper part was still wild
-with gorse bushes, and bordered by a little thicket of rhododendrons,
-which had strayed thither from the adjacent park. Many a cricket match
-was played upon the lower Green, and on the bright summer Saturdays,
-when the cricket parties came, there was often quite a pretty little
-company from the surrounding houses to watch them, and a great traffic
-went on at the Barley Mow. It was an irregular old house, partly red
-brick, partly whitewashed, with a luxuriant old garden warm and sunny,
-opening through a green wicket set in a great hedge on the right hand. A
-signpost stood in the open space in front, where the road widened out,
-and by the open door you could see through a clean, red-tiled passage
-into the garden at the back, where the turf was like velvet, and the
-borders full of all kinds of bright and sweet old-fashioned flowers.
-There were neither standard rose-bushes nor red geraniums to be seen
-there, not that Widow Aikin, good woman, had any whim of taste that
-prompted her to despise these conventional inmates of the modern garden,
-but that the pinks and gilliflowers, the rockets and larkspurs, and
-great straggling rose-bushes were cheaper and gave less trouble, having
-established themselves there, and requiring no bedding out. The room
-which looked out upon this garden was where the strangers and
-gentlefolks who came from far were entertained, and there was a parlour,
-with a bow window in front, for humbler persons. But the favourite place
-in summer for that kind of ‘company’ was the bench outside the door,
-looking out upon the Green. There was little traffic of any kind in
-winter, but the summer aspect of the Barley Mow was a pleasant one. It
-had no air of stale dissipation about it, no heavy odour of spilt beer
-or coarse tobacco, but looked wholesome and sweet-smelling, a place of
-refreshment, not of indulgence. Anyhow, it was the fashion about the
-Green to think and say this of Widow Aikin’s clean, honest, respectable
-house. She was a favourite with all the ‘families.’ She served them with
-milk as well as beer, and fresh eggs, and sometimes fruit. She had all
-sorts of little agencies in hand, found servants for the ladies on the
-Green, and executed little commissions of many kinds. She was a
-personage, privileged and petted: everybody had a smile and a kind word
-for her, and she for everybody. She was always about, never standing
-still, glancing in and out of the red-tiled passage, the bow-windowed
-parlour, the sunny garden, the noisy stable-yard. You saw her
-everywhere--now this side, now that--an ubiquitous being, so
-quick-footed that she was almost capable of being in two places at once.
-
-It was a favourite subject with Mrs. Aikin to talk of her own
-loneliness, and incapacity to manage ‘such a house as this.’ She liked
-to dwell upon the responsibilities of the position and the likelihood
-that a lone woman would be imposed upon; and the Green generally
-considered this a very proper strain of observation, and felt it to be
-respectable that a widow should so feel and so express herself. But it
-was very well known that things had gone much better at the Barley Mow
-since Will Aikin managed very opportunely to be carried off by that
-vulgar gout which springs from beer, and has all the disadvantages with
-none of the distinctions belonging to its kindred ailment. There was no
-saying what might not have happened had he lived a year longer, for the
-creditors were urgent and the business paralyzed. It was this which made
-his death opportune, for the brewers were merciful to the widow, and
-gave her time to redeem herself; and when she was relieved from the
-necessity of nursing him and studying his ‘ways,’ which were as
-difficult as if the landlord of the Barley Mow had been a prince of the
-blood, the widow blossomed out into another woman. It is but a poor
-compliment to the lamented husband, but widows continually do this, it
-must be allowed, giving the lie practically to their own tears. Happily
-however Mrs. Aikin, like many others in her position, took her own
-desolation for granted, and attributed her increase of prosperity to
-luck or the blessing of God, which is the better way of stating it. ‘Oh!
-that poor Will had but lived to see it!’ she would say with kindly
-tears in her eyes, and never whispered even to herself that had poor
-Will lived it would never have been. She never missed an opportunity,
-good soul, of bringing him into her conversation, telling stories of his
-excellence, his good looks (he was one of the plainest men in the
-county), his good jokes (he was as dull as ditch-water) and his
-readiness in all encounters. She would stand in the doorway, with her
-apron lifted in her hand, ready to dry the tear which out of grief for
-his loss, or tremulous traditionary laughter over one of his
-pleasantries, was always ready to spring up in the corner of her eye.
-What did it matter to her that the poor old jokes were pointless? She
-never inquired into their claims, but accepted them as laughter-worthy
-by divine right.
-
-Mrs. Aikin had but one child, Jane, a modest, dark-eyed girl, with
-pretty fair curling hair, which gave her a certain distinction among the
-rustic prettinesses about. Her mother professed to be annoyed by the
-mingling of two complexions, protesting that Jane was always
-‘contrairy,’ that such light hair should have gone with blue eyes, and
-that she was neither one sort nor another; but in her heart she was
-proud enough of her daughter’s uncommon looks--and Jane was an uncommon
-girl. Next to the Barley Mow stood the smallest house on the Green, a
-little place half wooden, half brick, which would have been tumbledown
-and disreputable had it not been so exquisitely neat and well cared for.
-This was the poorest little place of all the gentry’s houses, but it was
-not by any means the humblest of the inhabitants of the Green who lived
-at the Thatched Cottage. Old Mrs. Mowbray was a very great person,
-though she was a very small person. She was the tiniest woman on the
-Green, and she had the tiniest income, but she was related to half the
-peerage, and considered herself as great a lady as if she had been a
-grand duchess. Nor did any one dispute her claim. The greatest people in
-the county yielded the _pas_ to old Mrs. Mowbray, partly no doubt because
-she was very old and her magnificent pretensions were amusing, but
-partly also because they were well founded. There was not one house on
-the Green that had such visitors as she had. She was grand-aunt to a
-duke, and nobody would have been surprised to hear that in her own
-person she had a far-away right to the Crown--a right, let us say,
-coming by some side-wind from the Plantagenets, leaping over the other
-families who are of yesterday. Many people at Dinglefield called her the
-fairy queen. She had the easy familiarity of royalty with all her
-surroundings. What could it matter to her what were the small gradations
-of social importance among her neighbours and friends? She could afford
-to be indifferent to such trifling distinctions of society. Widow Aikin
-was not appreciably further out of the reach of this splendid little old
-poor patrician than Lady Denzil. Education was in favour of the latter,
-it is true, but there was this against her, that it was possible for
-her to entertain some delusive idea of equality, of which Mrs. Aikin was
-guiltless. Mrs. Mowbray accordingly made no secret of the fact that she
-entertained a great friendship for the landlady of the Barley Mow, and
-was very fond of Jane. She had the girl with her a great deal, and
-taught her those pretty manners which were so unlike others of her
-class. When Jane was a growing girl of twelve or thirteen she used to
-wait upon the old lady’s guests at tea as a maid of honour might have
-waited. It was done for love for one thing, which always confers a
-certain grace; and it was not possible to move awkwardly or act
-ungracefully under the eye of such a keen critic.
-
-It was the general opinion of the ladies on the Green that this
-patronage might not be an advantage to Jane as she grew older, and it
-became necessary to choose what was to be her occupation in the world;
-but in this respect Mrs. Mowbray behaved with great wisdom. It was,
-indeed, against not only all her traditions, but all the habits of her
-mind to ‘put nonsense in the girl’s head,’ and disgust her with her
-natural position, which was what the other ladies feared. It mattered
-nothing to Mrs. Mowbray whether the girl became a pupil-teacher; or
-pushed upward in the small scale of rank, as understood at the Barley
-Mow, to be a nursery governess and call herself a lady; or remained what
-she was by nature, her mother’s right hand and chief assistant? Parties
-ran very high on the Green on this subject. It was fought over in many a
-drawing-room as hotly as if it had been a branch of the Eastern
-Question. Ought Jane Aikin to stay at the parish school with Mrs.
-Peters, whose favourite pupil she was, and become her aid and probable
-successor? Ought she, being so refined in her manners, and altogether
-such a nice-looking girl, to learn a little music and French, and become
-a governess? The ladies who were liberal, who believed in education, and
-that everybody should do their best to improve their position and better
-themselves, upheld the latter idea; but the strongest party was in
-favour of the pupil-teacher notion, which was considered a means of
-utilizing Jane’s good manners and excellent qualities, without moving
-her out of ‘her own sphere of life’--and this set was headed, by the
-Rector, who was very hot and decided on the subject. A third party, to
-which nobody paid much attention, and which consisted chiefly of Mrs.
-Aikin herself, the only real authority, intended Jane to remain where
-she was, head-waiter and superintendent at the Barley Mow. The question
-between the two first projects had already been warmly discussed in the
-drawing-rooms before it occurred to anybody that it could be Mrs.
-Aikin’s intention to do such injustice to her daughter, or indeed that
-the good landlady had any particular say in the matter. What! make a
-barmaid of Jane! The Rector was, it is to be feared, very injudicious in
-his treatment of the question. He attempted to carry matters with a very
-high hand, and went so far as to say that no modest girl could be
-brought up in ‘an alehouse,’ as he was so foolish as to call it, an
-opprobrious epithet which Mrs. Aikin did not forgive for years. She was
-so desperately offended, indeed, that she went to chapel for four
-Sundays after she heard of it, walking straight past the church doors,
-and proclaiming her defection to the whole world. Mrs. Mowbray was the
-person who was employed to set this matter right. She was waited upon by
-representatives of the two different parties, both of them feeling
-secure of her sympathy, but both anxious at all events to bring that
-foolish woman, Jane’s mother, to her senses. Mrs. Stoke was at the head
-of the governess set, and good Mr. Wigmore, our excellent church-warden,
-represented the Rector’s views. They met at the gate of the Thatched
-Cottage upon this mission. ‘I have not spoken to dear Mrs. Mowbray on
-the subject, because I feel so sure that she will be on our side--so
-fond as she is of Jane,’ said Mrs. Stoke. ‘Mrs. Mowbray is not the
-person to advocate any breaking up of the divisions which mark society,’
-said Mr. Wigmore. ‘_She_ knows the evil of all such revolutionary
-measures.’ And thus they went in, each confident in his and her own
-cause.
-
-Mrs. Mowbray sat by the fire in the big old carved ebony chair, which
-made her look more than ever a fairy queen. She had a handsome old ivory
-face, with a tinge of colour on the cheeks, which looked as if it might
-once have been rouge. Strangers considered that this peculiarity of
-complexion gave an artificial and even improper look to the old lady,
-but on the Green it was considered one of the evidences of that supreme
-aristocratism which would not take the trouble to disguise anything it
-pleased to do, but would rouge, if rouge was necessary, in a masterful
-and magnificent way, making no secret of it. However, as a matter of
-fact it was not rouge, but perfectly real, as was the fine ivory yellow
-of her old nose, a stately and prominent feature, evidently belonging to
-the highest rank. She would not have budged from her ebony chair to
-receive any one less than the Queen; but she permitted Mrs. Stoke to
-kiss her, and Mr. Wigmore to shake her hand, with serene graciousness.
-When they had both seated themselves she looked at them across her
-knitting with a smile. ‘This looks likes a deputation,’ she said. ‘What
-do you want, good people? If it is to settle about my funeral there is
-no hurry--for my cold is much better, and I have a good many things to
-see after before I can think of such luxuries.’ This distressed both her
-visitors, who did not like to hear an old lady speak of such serious
-matters in this light-minded way.
-
-‘Indeed, indeed, dear Mrs. Mowbray, it was nothing of the kind. When
-such a dreadful event occurs there will be weeping and wailing on the
-Green; and we all know very well that though you always talk so
-cheerfully, and so amusingly----’
-
-‘You regard such subjects with the melancholy which becomes
-right-thinking people,’ said Mr. Wigmore; ‘but we came--or to speak for
-myself, I came----’
-
-‘To speak of Jane Aikin,’ cried Mrs. Stoke, feeling the importance of
-having the first word, ‘and her mother’s inconceivable foolishness in
-keeping her at home; and the still more foolish step she has taken in
-separating herself from all her true friends.’
-
-‘Frequenting the Dissenters’ services,’ said Mr. Wigmore. ‘Few things
-more sad have come under my observation in this very distressing
-parish--which is really such a mixture of everything that is
-unsatisfactory----’
-
-‘The parish is just like other parishes,’ said Mrs. Stoke, ‘only much
-better, I should say--so many educated people in it, and so few poor
-comparatively. But I am sure our dear old friend will agree with me that
-Jane is quite out of place----’
-
-‘Now, my good people,’ said the old lady, ‘think a moment--what do you
-mean by out of place?--Everybody is out of place now-a-days. I see
-people in this room calmly sitting down by me whose fathers and mothers
-would have come to the kitchen door fifty years ago; but if I made a
-fuss what would any one say?’
-
-This made Mr. Wigmore very uncomfortable, whose father had been a
-cheesemonger in a good way of business; but as for Mrs. Stoke she did
-not care, being very well born, as she supposed. Mrs. Mowbray, however,
-took them both in quite impartially. ‘Unless people really belong to the
-old nobility,’ she continued, ‘I don’t see that it matters about their
-place. It does not mean anything. Even in what we call the old nobility,
-you know, there’s not above half-a-dozen families that are anything like
-_pur sang_. I know dukes that are just as much out of place as Jane
-Aikin would be at Windsor Castle. The only place any one has a right to
-is where their ancestors are born and bred--if they have any. And when
-you have not rank,’ said the old lady, looking keenly at Mr. Wigmore,
-‘you had much better be _peuple_, as the French say. We haven’t got an
-English word for it. No, it doesn’t mean lower classes--it means
-_peuple_, neither less nor more. And Jane Aikin is pure _peuple_. She
-can’t be out of place where she is.’
-
-‘But you forget her education, dear Mrs. Mowbray--and you yourself that
-have given her such a taste for beautiful manners, and spoiled her for
-her own common class.’
-
-Mrs. Mowbray did not say anything, but she put on her spectacles and
-stared at her reprover. ‘I never spoil any one,’ she said; ‘out of my
-own condition--I make no secret of it--one girl is very much like
-another to me. They should all be pretty-mannered--I never knew _that_
-to spoil any one, small or great.’
-
-‘Dear Mrs. Mowbray, no; but if we could raise her to a position in which
-she would be appreciated. She has taken such a step out of her own class
-in associating with you.’
-
-‘Associating--with me!’ Mrs. Mowbray took off her spectacles again
-after she had gazed mildly with a wonder beyond speech in the speaker’s
-face. Then she shrugged her shoulders slightly and shook her head. ‘I
-can’t recall at this moment any one in this neighbourhood who does that.
-I have a great many friends, if that is what you mean, and I am not so
-particular as most people about the little subdivisions--but associates!
-I don’t know any. Yes, Mr. Wigmore? you were going to speak.’
-
-‘I am one of those who agree with you that the poor should be kept in
-their own place,’ said Mr. Wigmore. As he spoke the old lady took up her
-spectacles again, and deliberately put them on, looking at him as if
-(Mrs. Stoke said) he was a natural curiosity, which somewhat discomfited
-the excellent man--‘but, as our friend says, her manners and breeding
-are quite above her station.’
-
-‘Jane Aikin has no station,’ said Mrs. Mowbray promptly. ‘She is
-_peuple_, as I told you. I know nothing of your aboves and belows. Let
-her stay where she is, in her natural place, and do her duty. Do your
-duty in that condition to which God has called you: that’s what the
-Catechism says. There’s nothing about being above or below. Very lucky
-for her she’s got a natural place and her duty plain before her. If one
-had not one’s own rank, which of course one does not choose, that’s what
-I should prefer for myself: a distinct place and a clear duty--and
-that’s what Jane Aikin has.’
-
-‘In a public-house!’ cried Mr. Wigmore, aghast.
-
-‘In her mother’s house, sir,’ said old Mrs. Mowbray.
-
-Thus the Green was routed horse and foot; but the old lady on further
-talk accepted the position of mediatrix to bring back the Widow Aikin to
-her allegiance, and to show her her duty as a churchwoman. She sallied
-forth for that purpose the very next morning in her old quilted white
-satin bonnet and great furred cloak. She never changed the fashion of
-her garments, having had abundant time to discover what was most
-becoming to her, as she frankly said. Mrs. Aikin was standing at her
-front door, looking out upon the bright morning, when the old lady
-appeared. There was very little doing at the Barley Mow. The parlour
-with the bow window was full of a dazzling stock of household linen,
-which Jane and a maid were looking over, and putting in order. Jane
-herself had the task of darning the thin places, which she did so as to
-make darning into a fine art. This had been taught her by Mrs. Peters at
-the parish school. Perhaps it was not, after all, such a valuable
-accomplishment as it looked, but certainly Jane’s darning had a
-beautiful appearance on the tablecloths, after they had passed their
-first perfection of being, at the Barley Mow.
-
-‘The sunshine’s a pleasure,’ said Mrs. Aikin, making her best curtsey,
-‘and I hope I see you well, ma’am, this bright morning. It shows us as
-how spring’s coming. Might I be so bold as to ask you to step in and
-take a chair?’
-
-‘Not this morning,’ said Mrs. Mowbray in her frank voice, not unduly
-subdued in tone, ‘though I’ve come to scold you. They tell me you’ve
-gone off from your church, you that were born and bred in it, and Jane,
-though I taught her her Catechism myself. Do you mean to tell me you’ve
-got opinions--you?--with a nice child like Jane to thank God for, and
-everything going well----’
-
-‘Well, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Aikin, growing red and smoothing her apron, ‘I
-don’t say as I’m one for opinions--more than doing your duty, and
-getting a bit of good out of a sermon when you can.’
-
-‘That’s very pious and right,’ said the old lady, ‘but your church that
-you were christened in is more than a sermon. I don’t pretend to get
-much good of them myself: but you’ll not tell me that you have left your
-church for that.’
-
-‘Well, ma’am!’ said Mrs. Aikin, reluctant to commit herself. She put out
-her foot, and began to trace patterns with her shoe in the sand on the
-doorstep, and fixed her eyes upon the process. She could not meet the
-little old lady’s decided gaze. ‘Mr. Short at the chapel do preach
-beautiful, he do. You should just hear him for yourself. He’ll make you
-come all over in a tremble, when you’re sitting quite quiet like,
-thinking of nothing; and then he’s real comforting to poor folks and
-them as is put upon. It’s almost a pleasure to feel as you’ve had your
-troubles with the quality too.’
-
-‘Quality! Where do you find any quality to have troubles with?’ said
-Mrs. Mowbray. ‘You and I have always been good friends. You don’t
-consider that you’re put upon, as you call it, because the Duke sent me
-my Christmas turkey. That was no offence to you.’
-
-‘No, ma’am, never--not you. There is them that shall be nameless--not
-but what _they_ call names a plenty.’
-
-‘The woman’s thinking of the Rector, I declare. Quality!’ said Mrs.
-Mowbray with an accent of mingled amazement and amusement. ‘No, my dear
-woman, he’s not quality. But he meant no harm. He was thinking of the
-girl and her good. They think they know, these men; and we must submit,
-you know, to our clergy. It was because of his interest in Jane.’
-
-‘Interest in Jane!’ said Widow Aikin (she pronounced the name something
-like _Jeyeyn_; but the peculiarities of Berkshire are too much for even
-phonetic spelling), ‘if that shows an interest! telling her mother to
-her face as she wasn’t fit to bring her up decent and respectable, and
-showing no more confidence than that in the girl herself.’
-
-‘It was his mistake,’ said Mrs. Mowbray, ‘he wants tact, that is what it
-is. He hasn’t the right way of doing a thing, my dear woman. That is how
-these middling sort of people always break down. My nephew, the Duke, if
-he had to send you to prison, would do it as if it were the greatest
-kindness in the world. But the middling classes have no grace about
-them. That’s not to say that you’re to give up your church that you
-were christened in and married in. Who’s to bury you, woman? Do you
-never think of that? Not your Mr. Short at the chapel, I hope. At least
-I know he would never do for me. There ought to be more in your church
-than a sermon, or even than a pleasant word.’
-
-‘Well, ma’am, I don’t say but what that’s true; and I never thought of
-the burying,’ said the widow, hanging her head. She was subdued and
-awe-stricken at the turn which the discussion had taken, and, indeed,
-had never intended to forsake ‘her church,’ but only to make a
-demonstration of her independence. Jane had come out from the parlour,
-leaving her work to listen to this argument, with great anxiety and
-interest, for her heart was in it. She was hovering in the passage
-behind her mother, now and then giving her a little touch or pull to
-enforce something the old lady said. During the pause that followed she
-came forward very anxiously, and put forward a plea of her own, in which
-there did not seem much point or applicability.
-
-‘Oh, mother,’ she said softly, pulling her sleeve, ‘and Johnny in the
-choir!’
-
-‘Oh, go along with your Johnnys,’ said the landlady of the Barley Mow.
-But it was clear enough that the victory was won.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-It is full time that John should be spoken of, who was the other member
-of the family, and a very important one. He was Mrs. Aikin’s nephew, the
-son of a brother who was very poorly off and had been taken in by his
-good aunt as a miserable stunted child when he was but six or seven. The
-brother was a soldier, who had been discharged, and whose character it
-is to be supposed did not recommend him sufficiently to get any interest
-made for him, or to establish him anywhere in one of the occupations
-which seem made for old soldiers. Instead of this he had fallen into a
-kind of vagabondism, wandering from place to place, and as his wife was
-dead this only child had been miserably neglected, and was in a bad way
-when Mrs. Aikin took him to her kindly care. He had never been a
-prepossessing boy, and he did not at all share with Jane in the interest
-of the Green. He was heavy and lowering in his looks, quiet to outward
-appearance, though tales were told of him which were not consistent with
-this subdued aspect. Both the women however were devoted to John, either
-because they had no one else to be fond of, or because he possessed some
-qualities at bottom which made up for his faults of exterior. He
-certainly did not seem at any time to give himself much trouble to
-secure their affections. All that he did seemed to be done
-unwillingly--the very sound of his voice was churlish--and except Mrs.
-Aikin and her daughter nobody cared for the boy. From his very first
-coming he had showed himself in an unfavourable light. He was then a boy
-of about eight years old, and little Jane, a delightful child,
-everybody’s favourite, was a year younger. One summer evening he was
-standing with his hands in his pockets staring at the waggons with their
-big horses, when she came running up to him.
-
-‘Come and play, Johnny,’ she said in her soft little voice.
-
-‘I won’t,’ he said, pushing her out of his way with his shoulder.
-
-‘Oh, Johnny, come and have tea in the garden,’ said little Jane, ‘mother
-says we may. I’ve got some cake and some gooseberries, and my own little
-tea-things, and all the best shall be for you. Oh, Johnny, come!’
-
-‘I won’t,’ he said again, though he faltered when he heard of the cake.
-
-‘Oh, Johnny, come to please me,’ cried the poor little woman, already as
-foolish in her expectations as if she had been twenty years older.
-
-‘To please you! I’d a deal rather please myself,’ cried the boy, once
-more thrusting her aside with a push of his shoulder. Little Jane was
-ready to cry, but the mother coming out full of business called to the
-children in her hasty way to go at once to the garden, and get out of
-her road. Upon which the boy shrugged his shoulders, and obeyed with
-brutish unwillingness and display of yielding to superior force. This
-was how he had been ever since. The little girl would coax and entreat,
-the kind mother give cheerful orders, never so much as seeing the
-lowering looks of rebellion.
-
-‘Poor boy!’ Mrs. Aikin would say, ‘he ain’t got no mother, and I can see
-by his solemn face many a day as he’s thinking and thinking of his poor
-father, which was never one as would settle down to anything. We has to
-do all we can to keep him cheerful, Jane and me.’
-
-Thus from the very first they made up their minds to spoil the loutish,
-unpleasant boy. The widow was continually praising him, and holding him
-up to the admiration of her neighbours. When it was found that he had a
-good voice, this gave them as much delight and triumph as if they had
-inherited a fortune, and when he made his appearance for the first time
-with the choir in his white surplice, the faces of the two were a sight
-to see, so glowing were they with satisfaction and delight. In this way
-the two cousins had grown up--the boy always sullen and downlooking,
-resisting rather than responding to the kindnesses heaped upon him, the
-girl always ready to smooth away every cloud, to say the best for him,
-to explain his moodiness and backwardness.
-
-‘It is only his way,’ Jane would say in her soft voice, and _her_ way
-was so ingratiating and conciliatory that no one could stand against it.
-His aunt, too, was foolish in her affection for this unattractive hero.
-He was the son of the house, the young master, though he had not a
-penny. His opinion was always asked about everything, and his judgment
-constantly relied upon. It was true that the advice he gave was not
-always taken, for Mrs. Aikin was very active, and liked to manage
-everything her own way; but when it happened that he agreed with her,
-she would trumpet forth his praises and give him all the credit.
-
-‘I should never have thought of that but for Johnny. There’s no telling
-the sense of him,’ the good woman would say admiringly. All this special
-pleading however could not give the Green any interest in John. Nobody
-cared for him except the two who cared so much for him, and nobody
-believed in him, notwithstanding his imposing appearance in the choir
-and his beautiful voice. As he grew up this voice changed from its
-angelical soprano to a big melodious baritone. He was the chief singer
-at Dinglefield, and kept up the character of the place, which had always
-been noted for its choir, and indeed he was the only man in it to whom a
-solo could be entrusted. This made the Rector and Mr. Wigmore tolerant
-of the alehouse so far as he was concerned.
-
-Thus the little family at the Barley Mow were happy enough when the
-difficulty was got over about Jane. Of course Mrs. Aikin had the best
-right to settle what her daughter was to do, and whatever they might
-advise, neither the clergy nor the ladies could interfere on their own
-account in the matter. So that when Mrs. Aikin gave up chapel and came
-back to her own pew all was forgiven and forgotten, and Jane, though the
-maid of the inn, became a greater favourite than ever. She was liked as
-much as her cousin was disliked. Even the contact which she could not be
-altogether saved from, in her position, with the roughest and coarsest
-class did not seem to affect her. She went about and served the beer,
-and waited on the summer visitors as softly and as neatly as she used to
-serve the ladies at tea in old Mrs. Mowbray’s tiny drawing-room. She
-never took any notice of foolish things that might be said to her, and
-did not even seem to hear or see the squabbles and noisy talk that must
-always go on more or less about such places. In the cricketing time they
-were always very busy, and Jane no doubt had the additional temptation
-of the gentlemen who would have talked and flirted had she allowed them
-to do so: but she passed through everything like a humble Una, with a
-smile for everybody, but not a word that could have been objected to,
-had all the ladies in the Green sat in committee on her. Perhaps however
-her lout of a cousin did more for Jane than the ladies could have done.
-She was very modest and shy, and did not betray herself except to the
-keenest observation; but it was apparent enough to those who were
-chiefly interested that all her thoughts were for John. She was
-constantly doing his work for him in her quiet way, undertaking this and
-that to let him have a holiday, or go to a choral meeting, or have his
-innings at cricket.
-
-‘Girls don’t want so much play as boys,’ she would say with a smile. And
-he took her at her word, and accepted everything she did for him as if
-it had been the most natural thing in the world. Strangely enough, her
-mother did not object to this. She spoiled and petted the clumsy fellow
-just as much as Jane did, and took it for granted that he should have
-all kinds of indulgences as if he had been a favourite son. The great
-terror of both of them was his vagabond father, who appeared now and
-then, a scandal to their respectability, and a standing danger to John.
-The two women were always in a fright lest this undesirable relative
-should lead their darling astray.
-
-‘He is such a good boy now--he has always been such a good boy,’ Mrs.
-Aikin said, with an uncomfortable sense that nobody accepted this
-statement as gospel, which made her more and more hot in giving it
-forth. And when old Mrs. Mowbray stopped in her walk to inquire after
-Jane and the poultry, the widow fairly wept over this one danger which
-threatened the family peace.
-
-‘Why do you let him come at all?’ the old lady asked peremptorily. ‘If I
-were in your place, I would order him off the premises. You have done
-too much for him already, my dear woman. When a man becomes a vagabond
-he has no more claim on his friends.’
-
-This did not at all please the landlady of the Barley Mow. Her honest
-face flushed, and she dried her eyes indignantly.
-
-‘Nature is nature, ma’am,’ she said; ‘good or bad, you can’t deny your
-own flesh and blood.’
-
-‘But I could keep my own flesh and blood at a distance,’ said the old
-lady, ‘especially if it has got more harm in it, and could do me an
-injury still.’
-
-‘That is all that troubles me,’ said Mrs. Aikin. ‘I’d be as happy a
-woman as steps the Green, but for that. Nature is nature, and a father’s
-a father. And if so be as he was to put wild thoughts in our Johnny’s
-head--what would me and Jane do? La, bless you, it would break that
-girl’s heart.’
-
-‘And that is just what I am thinking of,’ said Mrs. Mowbray briskly.
-‘You are a silly woman. What has Jane’s heart got to do with it? You
-keep this boy by her side year after year. And now they’re growing man
-and woman, and what’s to come of it? What do you mean by it? That’s what
-I say!’
-
-‘La, ma’am, what could come of it? They’ve been brought up like brother
-and sister,’ the widow said with a laugh, and she went about with a
-smile on her face for the rest of the day. The other ladies made
-remonstrances of the same kind with equally little use. Of course it was
-very clear that this was what she had made up her mind to--that the two
-should marry and succeed her when she grew old, and carry on the
-business. It was all suitable enough and natural enough. And, of course,
-the fact that Jane was above her position made no difference. When a
-woman is above her position the best thing for her to do is to conceal
-it carefully, and make the best of the circumstances. And she herself
-was not conscious of the fact of her superiority. Whether Mrs. Aikin had
-been so foolish as to communicate her ideas to Jane no one knew, but
-there could be little doubt that the poor girl took the arrangement for
-granted as much as her mother did. It was so natural! She had been fond
-of her cousin all her life, loving him with that most powerful of all
-kinds of love, the close tie of tender habit, the affection one has for
-the being whom one has protected, excused, and been good to all one’s
-life. If she had not pushed him softly through his work, coaxed him
-through his lessons, made the best of him to everybody, how could poor
-Johnny ever have got on at all? He wanted her backing up so perpetually,
-that it might be permitted to Jane to believe that he could not have got
-on without her. It is common to say that the love of a woman for a man
-has often a great deal that is motherly in it, and certainly this was
-the case here. It had been her duty to be kind to him, to make him feel
-himself at home, he who had no other home. All her own little pleasures,
-almost ever since she could remember, had been made secondary to
-Johnny--and what so natural as that this should go on? She took it for
-granted, poor girl. She scarcely expected to be courted as other girls
-were who ‘fall in love’ with strangers. It had not been necessary for
-her to fall in love. She had always been fond of her cousin. She had
-never thought of any other man.
-
-And poor Jane was as delicate in her love as any lady of romance. She
-had none of the romping ways of country girls of her class. Neither was
-she sentimentally disposed. Her modest look dwelt upon him now and then
-with a tender pleasure, especially when he was singing, which was the
-only thing about him which seemed to justify that delusion. But even
-this look was so modest and so momentary that only careful observation
-surprised it now and then. She held her somewhat embarrassing position
-with a serious grace which was almost dignity--making no advances on her
-part, though she was the crown princess, and had everything to bestow,
-yet never doubting, I think, poor girl, what the course of affairs was
-to be. Was it not natural that he should love her best as she loved him
-best? and that their life should go on as it had always done, with
-something added but nothing taken away? Such was the simple, happy tenor
-of Jane’s maiden thoughts.
-
-Whether John divined what the women took for granted it would be
-difficult to say. Perhaps he saw the advantages of being master at the
-Barley Mow, and the homage he received no doubt increased his natural
-loutish self-complacency--that stolid vanity which so often dwells in
-the minds of those who have nothing in the world to be vain of. He took
-it for granted on his side that he was the sun of this little world, and
-accepted everything as a natural homage to his fine deservings. He
-thought the more of himself for all they did for him, not of them. As
-for Jane, her pretty looks, her superiority, her grace and good breeding
-were nothing to the lout. He would have liked her a great deal better
-had she been a noisy, laughing, romping girl. He accepted all the little
-sacrifices she made, and allowed her to do his work, with that satisfied
-consciousness that she liked it, which gave him the feeling of doing
-rather than receiving a favour. And very likely he might go on, and
-carry out the programme, and marry her in the same lordly way. For there
-could be no doubt that it was very much to his advantage, and that his
-position as Jane’s husband would be much more assured than that of Mrs.
-Aikin’s nephew. So things went on, day gliding into day, and summer into
-winter. They were both young--there was no hurry; and to quicken the
-settlement or alter anything from the pleasant footing on which it at
-present stood was not at all the widow’s wish.
-
-The picture would have been incomplete however had there not been
-something on the other side. When one man is indifferent to the goods
-the gods provide him it is almost certain there is another somewhere to
-whom these gifts would seem divine. Jane had always kept up her
-friendship with Mrs. Peters, the schoolmistress, who had trained her,
-and whose assistant the ladies on the Green had wished her to be. She
-was fond of going to see her in the winter afternoons when there was not
-much doing, and always found something to do among the girls, work to
-set right, or a class to look after which had wearied the
-schoolmistress: and she got on so well with them that it was clear the
-ladies on the Green had not been wrong in their idea of her powers. But
-while she thus came and went about the good schoolmistress whom she
-loved, another person had come into the little circle, of whom Jane took
-little notice. This was a brother-in-law of Mrs. Peters, who had been
-lately appointed schoolmaster, and was very highly thought of in the
-parish. He was ten years at least older than Jane, and appeared to her a
-middle-aged man, though he was scarcely over thirty. He was a good
-schoolmaster and a good man, a little precise in speech perhaps, and
-rigid in his ways, but true and honest and kind, anxious to be of real
-service to his pupils and everybody round him. It was not wonderful that
-his serious eye should be caught by the serious, gentle girl who was so
-sweet and so kind to his sister-in-law, so much at home in the school,
-so helpful, and so understanding. After he had taken tea half a dozen
-times in her company the good young man’s head became full of Jane. And
-he was not so instructed in the ways of the place as to be aware of Mrs.
-Aikin’s understood plans, or the kind of tacit arrangement by which
-everything seemed settled. He did not even know of John’s existence at
-first--and when he did become aware of him there seemed nothing alarming
-in the loutish lad, whose appearance and manners were not attractive to
-the outward eye. Mr. Peters, though the very name of a public-house was
-obnoxious to him, began to come out in the evenings, when that first
-winter was over, and would sit down in the shade on a bench outside the
-door of the Barley Mow, sometimes for hours together, within reach of
-all the noises, and of the smoking and beer-drinking, which were a
-horror to him, and not respectable even, or becoming in his position. To
-see him seated there in his black coat, with that air of respectability
-half ashamed of itself, was both comical and touching. It was said that
-the Rector spoke to him about it, pointing out that the Barley Mow,
-however respectable in itself, was not a place where an instructor of
-youth ought to spend his evenings, a reproach which cut to the
-schoolmaster’s very heart. But he was so far gone that he stood up in
-defence of the place where his beloved spent her life.
-
-‘Sir,’ he stammered, reddening and faltering, ‘I see a--person there:
-who is an example to--every one round.’
-
-‘You mean Mrs. Aikin,’ the Rector said. ‘Yes, yes, Peters, she is very
-respectable, I don’t say anything against her; but it is not a place for
-you to be seen at, you know.’
-
-And this was true, there could be no doubt. The schoolmaster after this
-would come late. He would be seen going out for a walk, passing the
-Barley Mow with wistful looks after his tea-time, casting glances aside
-at the cheerful bustle; and when the darkness was falling, and
-everything had grown indistinct in the twilight, some keen eye would see
-him steal to his accustomed seat and stay there, neither drinking nor
-talking, except to Jane when she passed him. He watched her taking the
-tray from her cousin’s hand, letting him go free for his cricket or his
-practice, sometimes even sending him indoors to take a hand at whist,
-and had begun to be angry with the young man for letting her do his work
-for him before he surprised the gleam of soft love and kindness in
-Jane’s pretty eyes which revealed the whole story. Was that what it
-meant? It was such a shock to him that the schoolmaster fell ill, and
-was not about the place for weeks. But at last he came back again, as
-people constantly do, to gaze at sights that break their hearts. The
-front of the Barley Mow was a cheerful place in these summer evenings.
-Mrs. Aikin allowed no rioting or excess of drinking on her benches, and
-she was as imperative as a little queen. And all the travellers who
-passed stopped there to get water for their horses and beverages not
-quite so innocent for themselves. The horses alone were a sight to see.
-The whole hierarchy of rank on four legs might be seen at the door. The
-beautiful riding-horses, slim and dainty, with their shy, supercilious
-looks; the carriage horses just a trifle less fine--the large, florid,
-highly-fed brutes in the drays, that made no stand on their quality, but
-looked calmly conscious of unlimited corn at home--the saucy little
-pony, ready for any impertinence--the shabby, poor gentleman in the fly
-who had seen better days, meek beast, broken-spirited, and
-unfortunate--the donkey, meeker still, but with a whole red revolution,
-if he could only but once get the upper hand, in his eye. It was
-curious to sit there in the darkening of the soft summer night, and see
-the indistinct vehicles gliding past, and all the dim figures of men,
-while the stars came out overhead, and the heat of the day sank into
-grateful coolness. And what a dramatic completeness the humble, bustling
-scene took, when one perceived the little human drama, tragedy or
-comedy, who could tell which, that was going on in the midst, Jane
-regarding the loutish cousin who was not her lover with those soft eyes
-of tenderness as the stars regarded the earth: he altogether
-indifferent, caring nothing, taking a vulgar advantage of her weakness
-to save himself trouble; and the spectator in the corner, hidden in the
-shadows, who did not lose a look or a word, whose very heart was burning
-to see the wasted affection, and made furious by the indifference. Mr.
-Peters would have given all he had in the world could he have purchased
-that soft look from Jane; but the lout thought nothing of it, except so
-far as it ministered to his own rude self-satisfaction. Perhaps he had
-his grievance too. He would have liked to escape from this propriety and
-quiet to the noisy revels on the other side of the Green, where there
-was always some nonsense going on at the Load-o’-Hay, a kind of rival,
-but much inferior place, which was the one place in the world which Mrs.
-Aikin regarded with feelings of hatred, and which moved even Jane to
-something like anger. He would have liked to have had ‘a bit of fun’
-there, and left the steady business of the Barley Mow to take care of
-itself. How it was that neither Jane nor her mother perceived or guessed
-the discrepancy between his thoughts and theirs is past divining. The
-girl, at least, one would have thought, must have had some moments of
-distrust, some wondering doubts: but if so she never showed them, and as
-for Mrs. Aikin, she was too busy a woman to think of anything that did
-not come immediately under her eyes.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-This state of calm, so full of explosive elements, could scarcely go on
-without some revelation, sooner or later, of the dangers below; and,
-again, the little old fairy queen, Mrs. Mowbray, had a hand in the
-revelation. Though she was so old, there was no more clear-sighted or
-keen observer in all the county; and, as her interest in Jane was great,
-it cannot be supposed that she had not seen through the complications
-about her. But as yet there had been no opening--nothing which could
-justify her in speaking particularly on this subject; and all that could
-be said in a general way had been already said. Her mind however was
-very much set upon it; and she had taken in with an eager ear all the
-gossip of her old maid about Mr. Peters, whose visits to the Barley Mow
-had been naturally much commented upon. Mrs. Mowbray, as has been
-already said, had a royal indifference to the particular grade of the
-people about her. They were all her inferiors; and, whether the
-difference seemed small or great to the common eye, it was one of kind,
-and therefore unalterable, in her impartial judgment. Acting on this
-principle, the loves of Jane and John at the Barley Mow were just as
-interesting as the loves of the young ladies and gentlemen on the Green,
-who thought much more highly of themselves.
-
-This being the case, it will be less surprising to the reader to hear
-that, when Mrs. Mowbray in her walks encountered the schoolmaster, she
-managed to strike up an acquaintance with him; and ere long had so
-worked upon him with artful talk of Jane, that poor Mr. Peters opened
-his heart to the kind old lady, though he had never ventured to do so to
-the object of his love. The way in which this happened was as follows.
-It was summer--a lovely evening, such as tempted everybody out of doors.
-The schoolmaster, poor man, had gone out to walk the hour’s walk which
-he imposed upon himself as a necessary preface to his foolish vigil in
-front of the Barley Mow, which had settled down into a regular routine.
-He made believe to himself, or tried to make believe, that when he sat
-down on that bench at the door it was only because he was tired after
-his long walk; it was not as if he went on purpose--to do that would be
-foolishness indeed. But he was no moth, scorching his wings in the
-flame--he was an honest, manly pedestrian, taking needful rest in the
-cool of the evening. This was the little delusion he had wrapped himself
-in. When he was setting out for his walk, he met Mrs. Mowbray, and took
-off his hat with that mixture of conscious respect and stiff propriety
-which became his somewhat doubtful position--that position which made
-him feel that more was expected from him than would be expected from the
-common people round. He was in his way a personage, a representative of
-education and civilization; but yet he did not belong to the sphere
-occupied by the ladies and gentlemen. This made poor Mr. Peters doubly
-precise. But as the old lady--whose lively mind was full of Jane, and of
-a little plan she had in her head--turned to look at him instead of
-looking where she stepped, she suddenly knocked her foot against a
-projecting root, and would have fallen had not the schoolmaster, almost
-too shy to touch her, and wondering much in his own mind what a
-gentleman would do in such an emergency, rushed forward to give his
-assistance. Mrs. Mowbray laid hold of him with a very decided clutch.
-She was not shy--she threw her whole weight (it was not much) upon his
-arm, which she grasped to save herself. ‘I was nearly over,’ she said,
-panting a little for breath, with a pretty flush rising into her pale
-old delicate cheeks. The shock stirred her old blood and made her heart
-beat, and brought a spark to her eyes. It did not frighten and trouble,
-but excited her not unpleasantly, so thorough-bred was this old woman.
-‘No, I am not hurt, not a bit hurt: it was nothing. I ought to look
-where I am going, at my age,’ she said; and held Mr. Peters fast by the
-arm, and panted, and laughed. But even after she had recovered herself
-she still leant upon him. ‘You must give me your arm to my house,’ she
-said; ‘there’s the drawback of being old. I can’t help trembling, as if
-I had been frightened or hurt. You must give me your arm to my house.’
-
-‘Certainly, madam,’ said Mr. Peters. He did not like to dispense with
-any title of civility, though (oddly enough, and in England alone) the
-superior classes do so; but he would not say ‘Ma’am,’ like a servant. It
-seemed to him that ‘Madam’ was a kind of stately compromise; and he
-walked on, himself somewhat tremulous with embarrassment, supporting
-with the greatest care his unexpected companion; and though she
-trembled, the courageous old lady laughed and chattered.
-
-‘You were going the other way?’ she said. ‘I am wasting your time, I
-fear, and stopping your walk.’
-
-‘Oh, no, madam, not at all,’ said Mr. Peters; ‘I am very glad to be of
-use. I am very happy that I was there just at the moment--just at the
-fortunate moment----’
-
-‘Do you call it a fortunate moment when I hurt my foot--not that I have
-really hurt my foot--and got myself shaken and upset like this--an old
-woman at my age?’
-
-‘I meant--the unfortunate moment, madam,’ said Mr. Peters, colouring
-high, and feeling that he had said something wrong, though what he
-scarcely knew.
-
-‘Oh, fie! that looks as if you were sorry that you have been compelled
-to help me,’ said the old lady, laughing.
-
-Poor Mr. Peters had not the least idea how to take this banter. He
-thought he had done or said something wrong. He coloured up to the
-respectable tall hat that shaded his sober brows; but she stopped his
-troubled explanations summarily.
-
-‘Where were you going? It does not matter? Well, you shall come in with
-me, and Morris will give you some tea. You can tell me about your
-school--I am always interested in my neighbours’ concerns. You pass this
-way most evenings, don’t you? I see you passing. You always take a walk
-after your day’s work--a very wholesome custom. And then your
-evenings--where do you spend your evenings? Are there any nice people
-who give you a cup of tea? Do you go and see your friends? Yes, I am
-interested, always interested, to learn how my fellow-creatures get
-through their life; I don’t do much myself but look on, now-a-days. And
-you know life’s a strange sort of thing,’ said the old lady. ‘Nothing
-interests me so much. It isn’t a line of great events, as we think in
-our youth--the intervals are more important than the events. Are you
-dull, eh? You are a stranger in this place. How do you spend your
-evenings after you go in?’
-
-‘Madam, there is always plenty to do,’ said Mr. Peters; ‘a master can
-never be said to have much leisure.’ And then he unbent from that high
-seriousness and said, with a mixture of confused grandeur and
-wistfulness, ‘In the circles to which I have admission there is not much
-that can be called society. I have to spend my evenings at home, or----’
-
-‘Or----?’ said Mrs. Mowbray. ‘Just so, that is the whole business;
-alone, or---- But where is the ‘or’? So am I. I am alone (which I
-generally like best), or--I have friends with me. Friends--I call them
-friends for want of a better word--the people on the Green. They bore
-me, but I like them sometimes. Now, you are a young man. Tell me what
-‘or’ commends itself to you.’
-
-Thus exhorted, Mr. Peters hung down his head; he stammered in his reply.
-‘I am afraid, madam, you would think but badly of me if you knew:
-without knowing why. I go and sit down there--in front of Mrs. Aikin’s
-house.’
-
-‘In front of the Barley Mow! Dear me!’ she said, with well-acted
-surprise; ‘that is not the thing for a schoolmaster to do!’
-
-‘I know it, madam,’ said Mr. Peters with a sigh.
-
-‘Ah!’ said Mrs. Mowbray, with the air of one who is making an important
-discovery; ‘ah! I divine you at last. It is a girl that beguiles you to
-the Barley Mow! Then it must be a good girl, for they allow no one else
-there. Bless me! I wonder if it should be Jane!’
-
-‘You know her, madam?’
-
-‘Ah, it is Jane then? Mr. Schoolmaster--I forget your name--you are a
-man of penetration and sense; I honour you. A man who chooses the best
-woman within his knowledge--that’s the sort of man I approve of. It
-happens so seldom. Men are all such fools on that point. So it is Jane!’
-
-Mr. Peters breathed a long sigh. ‘She never looks at me, madam--she
-never knows I am there. You must not think she has anything to do with
-it.’
-
-‘Ay, ay, that’s always the way. When the men show some sense the women
-are fools; or else it’s the other thing. Now, listen to me. You say, Do
-I know Jane? Yes, I know her from her cradle. Why, I brought her up!
-Can’t you see the girl has the manners of a lady? I gave them to her.
-There is nothing Jane will not do for me. And I like the looks of you.
-You’re stiff, but you’re a man. Do you think I should have come out of
-my way, and hurt my foot (oh, it is quite well now!) to speak to you, if
-I hadn’t heard all about this? I want to help you to marry Jane.’
-
-‘Oh, madam, what can I say to you?’ cried Mr. Peters, not knowing in his
-bewilderment what might be going to happen. He was shocked in his sense
-of propriety by being told that he was stiff, and by the old lady’s
-frank avowal that she knew all about him after she had wormed his secret
-out of him; and he was excited by this promise of aid, and by the bold
-jump of his patroness to the last crown of success. To _marry_ Jane! To
-get a word from her, or a kind look, seemed enough in the meantime; and
-he did not know on the spot whether he was ready to marry any one, even
-this queen of his affections.
-
-He led Mrs. Mowbray to her door, and listened to her talk, divided
-between alarm and eagerness. She made everything so easy! She was
-willing to be his plenipotentiary--to explain everything. She would see
-no obstacle in the way--all he had to do was to put himself in her
-hands. The old lady herself got very much excited over it. She said more
-than she meant, as people have a way of doing when they are excited, and
-sent Mr. Peters away in the most curious muddle of hope and fear--hope
-that the way might be opened for him to Jane, fear lest he might be
-driven along that path at a pace much more rapid and urgent than he had
-meant to go.
-
-Next morning Mrs. Mowbray had made up her mind to send for Jane and open
-the subject at once--merely to represent to her how much more
-satisfactory this man was than such a lout as John. What a suitable
-union it would be! just her own quiet tastes and ways. And a man able to
-sustain and help her, instead of a lad of her own age, whom she would
-have to carry on her shoulders, instead of being guided by. The pleas in
-his favour were so strong, that the old lady could not see what pretence
-Jane could find for declining to listen to the schoolmaster. But she was
-not so certain about it next morning--and she neither went to the Barley
-Mow nor sent for Jane--but gave herself, as she said, time to think. And
-but for an accident that happened that very evening, prudence might have
-overcome the livelier impulse in her mind.
-
-That evening however Mrs. Mowbray went out again to see the sunset,
-taking a short turn down the lane from her house. The lane ran between
-her house and the Barley Mow, and a back door from Mrs. Aikin’s garden
-opened into it. It was a very green, very flowery bit of road, leading
-nowhere in particular except due west; and as the ground was high
-here--for Dinglefield stood on a gentle eminence raised above the rest
-of the valley--this lane of an evening, when the sun was setting, seemed
-to lead straight through into the sunset. It was an exceptional evening:
-the sunset glowed with all the colour that could be found in a tropical
-sky, and the whole world was glorified. It drew Mrs. Mowbray out in
-spite of herself; she had thrown a scarf over her cap and about her
-shoulders, being so near home, and was ‘stepping westward,’ like the
-poet, but with the meditative step of age which signifies leisure from
-everything urgent, and time to bestow upon this great pageant of Nature.
-To be so at leisure from everything in thought as well as in life is a
-privilege of the aged and solitary. And there is nobody who enjoys the
-beauty of such a scene or dwells upon it with the same delight. But the
-privilege has its drawbacks, like most human things. Those busy folks
-who give but a glance, and are gone, have perhaps a warmer, because
-accidental pleasure: the more deliberate enjoyment is a little sad. Mrs.
-Mowbray however was one to feel this as little as could well be. She
-walked briskly, and her mind, even in the midst of this spectacle, was
-full of her plans. She was half-way down the lane, with all the light in
-her face, when she suddenly perceived two figures black against the
-light in front of her, standing out like black _silhouettes_ on the glow
-of lovely colour. She saw them dimly; but they, having their backs to
-the dazzling light, and being totally unmindful of the sunset, saw her
-very clearly, and were much alarmed by her appearance. They had been so
-much occupied with each other that the sound of the old lady’s step upon
-some gravel was the first thing that roused them. The girl gave a
-frightened exclamation, and sprang apart from her companion, who for his
-part backed into the hedge, as if with the hope of concealing himself
-there. Though Mrs. Mowbray’s attention and curiosity were immediately
-roused, she did not even then recognize them, and they might have
-escaped her if they had not been so consciously guilty. The girl was the
-first to be detected. She ran off after that startled look, with a
-half-laughing cry, leaving the other to bear the consequences.
-
-‘Bless me! Ellen Turner. The little flirt! She is after some mischief,’
-Mrs. Mowbray said to herself; and even then she thought nothing of the
-young man. But he was not aware of this. He did not know that her eyes,
-which had been fixed on the glow in the sky, were dazzled by it, and
-unable to see him; and feeling himself detected, it seemed to John safer
-to take the matter into his own hands. He made a step into the middle of
-the road, in front of her. He could not have done anything less wise.
-Mrs. Mowbray was thinking only of Ellen, and nothing at all of the man
-she was fooling. This was the way she put it to herself: What did it
-matter who the silly fellow was? If he put any dependence on such a
-little coquette as that, he was to be pitied, poor fellow. The old lady
-had half a mind to warn him. But she was much surprised to find him
-confront her like this, and even a little frightened. And it was only
-now that she recognized who he was.
-
-He had forgotten what little manners he had, and all his awe of ‘the
-quality’ in the excitement of the moment. ‘You’ll go telling of us!’ he
-cried, in sudden excitement, almost with a threat of his clenched hand.
-
-A thrill of apprehension ran through the old lady’s frame, but she stood
-still suddenly, confronting him with the courage of her nature. ‘How
-dare you speak to me so, with your cap on your head?’ she said.
-
-John’s hand stole to his hat in spite of himself. He fell back a step.
-‘I beg your pardon, my lady; but I was a-going to say--You won’t say
-nothing to _them_?--It was a--accident--it wasn’t done a-purpose. You
-won’t tell--about _her_ and me?’
-
-‘Whom am I to tell?’ The old lady had seized the position already, and
-it made her herself again. She perceived in a moment the value of the
-incident. And he had taken his hat off by this time, and stood crushing
-it in his hands. ‘I don’t mean nothing,’ he said. ‘It’s only a lark. I
-don’t care nothing for her, nor I don’t suppose she do for me.’
-
-‘That I’ll answer for,’ said Mrs. Mowbray briskly; ‘neither for you nor
-any one else, you vain blockhead! But if it’s only a lark, as you say,
-what are you frightened for? And what do you want of me?’
-
-He stared at her for a moment with his mouth open, and then he said,
-‘Haunt and Jeyeyne thinks a deal of you.’
-
-‘I dare say they do,’ said the old lady; ‘but what of that? And they
-think a deal of you, you booby--more’s the pity. If you have a fancy for
-Ellen Turner, why don’t you let them know? Why don’t you marry her, or
-some one like her, and have done with it? I don’t say she’s much of a
-girl, but she’s good enough for you.’
-
-His hand gripped his hat with rising fury; the very dullest of natures
-feels the keen edge of contempt. And then he laughed; he had a sharp
-point at his own command, and could make reprisals.
-
-‘They’d kill her,’ he said, ‘if they knew it. They’re too sweet upon me
-to put up with it. They think as I don’t see what they’re after; but I
-see it fast enough.’
-
-‘And what are they after, if you are so clear-sighted?’
-
-‘They mean as I’m to settle down and marry Jeyeyne--that’s what they
-mean. They think, ‘cos I’m a quiet one, that I can’t see an inch from my
-nose. They think a fellow is to be caught like that afore he’s had his
-fling, and seen a bit of the world.’
-
-‘Oh,’ said the old lady; ‘so you want to have your fling, and see the
-world?’
-
-‘That is just about it, my lady,’ said the lout, taking courage. ‘I
-talks to _her_ just to pass the time; but what I wants is to see the
-world. I won’t say as I mightn’t come back after, and settle down.
-Jeyeyne’s a good sort of girl enough--I’ve nothing to say against her;
-and she knows my ways--but a man isn’t like a set of women. I must have
-my fling--I must--afore I settle down.’
-
-‘And who is to do your work, Mr. John, while you have your fling? Or are
-you clever enough to see that you are not of the least use at the Barley
-Mow?’
-
-‘Oh, ain’t I of use! See what a fuss there will be when they think I’m
-going! But Haunt can afford a good wage, and there’s lots of fellows to
-be had.’
-
-‘You ungrateful cub!’ cried the old lady; ‘is this all your thanks for
-their kindness, taking you in, and making a man of you! You were glad
-enough to find a home here when you were a wretched, hungry little boy.’
-
-‘Begging your pardon, my lady, I never was,’ said John, with a gleam of
-courage. ‘I’d have been a deal better with father if they’d let me
-alone. He’d a got me into the regiment as a drummer, and I’d have been
-in the band afore this. And that’s the sort of life to suit me. I ain’t
-one of your dull sort--I likes life. This kind of a dismal old country
-place never was the place for me.’
-
-‘You ungrateful, unkind, impertinent’!--
-
-Mrs. Mowbray stopped short. She could not get out all the words that
-poured from her lips, and the sight of him there opposite silenced her
-after all. Mrs. Aikin’s goodness to this boy had been the wonder and
-admiration of everybody round. They had considered her foolishly
-generous--Quixotic, almost absurd, in her kindness; and now to hear his
-opinion of it! This bold ingratitude closes the spectator’s mouth.
-Perhaps, after all, it is better to leave the bramble wild, and the
-street boy in the gutter, and give up all attempts to improve the one or
-the other. But there is nothing which so silences natural human
-sentiment and approval of charity and kindness. Mrs. Mowbray was struck
-dumb. Who could tell that he had not even some show of justice in his
-wrong--something that excused his doubt, if nothing to excuse his
-unkindness? This strange suggestion took away her breath.
-
-‘They’ve had their own way,’ said John; ‘they did it to please
-themselves; and that’s what they’d like to do again--marry me right
-off--a fellow at my age, and stop my fun! But I’m not the sort to have a
-girl thrust down my throat. I’ll have my fling first, or else I’ll have
-nothing to say to it. Now, my lady,’ he added, lowering his voice, and
-coming a step nearer,’ if you’ll stand my friend! There’s nobody as
-Haunt and Jeyeyne thinks so much of as you. If you says it they won’t
-oppose. I don’t want to quarrel with nobody; but I _will_ have my fling,
-and see the world!’
-
-‘And so you shall!’ cried Mrs. Mowbray; ‘if I can manage it. So you
-shall, my man! Get out of Jane’s way--that’s all I want of you. And I
-think better of you since you proposed it! Yes, yes! I’ll take it all
-upon me! There’s nothing I wish for more than that you should take
-yourself out of this. Have your fling! And I hope you’ll fling yourself
-a hundred miles out of reach of the Barley Mow!’
-
-John looked at her with dull amazement. What did she mean? His thanks
-were stopped upon his lips. For, after all, this was not a pleasant way
-of backing up. ‘Get out of Jane’s way!’ His heavy self-complacency was
-ruffled for the moment. ‘I don’t mind how far I go,’ he said, with a
-suspicious look.
-
-‘Nor I, I assure you,’ cried Mrs. Mowbray briskly; ‘I’ll plead your
-cause;’ and with that she turned round and went back again, forgetting
-all about the sunset. Nature is hardly treated by the best of us; we let
-her come in when we have nothing else in hand, but forget her as soon as
-a livelier human interest claims our attention. This was how even the
-old lady, who had been so meditatively occupied by Nature, treated the
-patient mother now.
-
-Next day was Sunday, and of course Mrs. Mowbray could not enter upon the
-business which she had undertaken then. But when there is any
-undercurrent of feeling or complication of rival wishes in a family,
-Sunday is a very dangerous day, especially when the family belongs to
-the lower regions of society, and the Sunday quiet affords means of
-communication not always to be had on other days. This, of course, was
-scarcely the case among the household at the Barley Mow, but the habit
-of their class was upon them, and the natural fitness of Sunday for an
-important announcement, joined, it is to be supposed, with the fact that
-he had already unbosomed himself to one person, drew John’s project out.
-When Mrs. Mowbray accordingly took her way to Mrs. Aikin’s on the Monday
-morning, more and more pleased as she thought of it, with the idea of
-getting John out of the way, she saw at once by the aspect of both
-mother, and daughter that her news was no news. The two women had a look
-of agitation and seriousness which on Mrs. Aikin’s part was mingled with
-resentment. She was discoursing upon her chickens when Mrs. Mowbray
-found her way into the barn-yard. ‘They don’t care what troubles folks
-has with them, not they,’ she was saying with a flush on her cheek. ‘The
-poor hen, as has sat on her nest all day, and never got off to pick a
-bit o’ food. What’s that to them, the little yellow senseless things?
-And them as we’ve brought up and cared for all our lives, and should
-know better, is just as bad.’ Jane was putting up a setting of
-Brahmapootra eggs for somebody. She was very pale, and made no reply to
-her mother, but her hand trembled a little as she put them into the
-packet. ‘What is the matter?’ said the old lady as she came in. Jane
-gave her a silent look and said nothing. ‘La, bless us, ma’am, what
-should be the matter?’ said Mrs. Aikin. They were so disturbed that Mrs.
-Mowbray did a thing which she was not at all in the habit of doing. She
-departed from her original intention, and said nothing at all of her
-mission, concluding, as was the fact, that John himself had spoken. No
-later than that afternoon however her self-denial was rewarded, for Mrs.
-Aikin came to the Thatched Cottage, curtseying and apologetic. ‘I saw as
-you didn’t believe me, ma’am,’ she said. ‘There is nobody like you for
-seeing how things is. A deal has happened, and I don’t know whether I’m
-most pleased or unhappy. For one thing it’s all settled between Johnny
-and Jane.’
-
-‘All settled!’ the old lady was so much surprised that she could
-scarcely speak.
-
-‘Yes, ma’am, thank you, the poor dears! I always said that as soon as he
-knew his own mind--There ain’t a many lads as one can see through like
-our John.’
-
-‘You didn’t wish it then?’ said Mrs. Mowbray. ‘I should have thought
-this morning that something bad had happened. You didn’t wish it! Then
-we’ve all been doing you injustice, my dear woman, for I thought you had
-set your heart on this all along.’
-
-‘And so I have; and I’m as happy--_that_ happy I don’t know what to do
-with myself,’ said Mrs. Aikin, putting her apron to her eyes.
-
-‘Happy! nobody would think it to look at you--nor Jane. I thought I knew
-you like my A, B, C, but now I can’t tell a bit what you mean.’
-
-‘Jane, she’s all of a flutter still, and she’s that humble-minded, all
-her thought is, will she make him happy? But you don’t suppose, ma’am,
-as I think any such nonsense--lucky to get her, I say, and so does
-everybody. It ain’t that. But he’s been seeing his father, and his
-father’s put nonsense in the lad’s head. I always said as he’d do it.
-Johnny’s the best of boys; he’d never have thought of such a thing if it
-hadn’t been put in his head. He says he wants to go out into the world
-and see a bit of life afore he settles down.’
-
-‘And that is what troubles you? If I were you I should let him go,’ said
-the old lady. ‘Lucky! I should think he was lucky. A young fellow like
-that! He is not half good enough for Jane.’
-
-‘Well, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Aikin, half ruffled, half pleased, ‘it is well
-known who was always your pet, and a great honour for her and me
-too--and I don’t know how it is as folks do such injustice to our John.
-It’s all the father, well I know; leave him to himself and a better boy
-couldn’t be. But I’ve written him a letter and given him a piece of my
-mind. It’s him as always puts fancies in the boy’s head. See the world!
-Where could he see the world better than at the Barley Mow! Why there’s
-a bit of everything at our place. There’s them gentlemen cricketers in
-the summer, and the best quality in the kingdom coming and going at
-Ascot time, and London company in the best parlours most every Sunday
-through the season. All sorts there is. There was never a week, summer
-or winter, so long as I can remember, but something was going on at the
-Barley Mow. Summer, it’s nothing but taking money from morning to night.
-I don’t mean to say,’ said Mrs. Aikin, suddenly recollecting that this
-sounded like a confession of large profits such as no woman in trade
-willingly acknowledges--‘I don’t mean to say as the expenses ain’t
-great, or as it’s all profit, far from it. But what I says to Johnny I
-don’t deny anywhere--it’s a living--and it’s the amusingest living and
-the most variety of any I know.’
-
-‘And yet he wants to see the world; there’s no accounting for men’s
-depravity. Do you mean to let him go?’
-
-Mrs. Aikin laughed. ‘I ain’t a good one to deceive,’ she said; ‘this
-morning I was all in a way, but now I’ve had time to think. You know
-yourself, ma’am, that to say “No” is the way to make a boy more
-determined than ever. Seemingly I’m a giving in, but I don’t mean to
-take no steps one way or other. I’ll let things take their course. And
-now that Jane and him understands one another, and the summer trade’s so
-brisk, who can say? Maybe it’ll go out of his head if he ain’t opposed.
-I’ve give my consent--so far as words goes--but I tell him as there’s no
-hurry. We can wait.’
-
-She laughed again in thorough satisfaction with her own tactics. And
-Mrs. Mowbray, with a different sentiment, echoed the laugh. ‘Yes, we can
-wait,’ the old lady said; ‘my poor little Jane!’ That was all, but it
-made Mrs. Aikin angry, she could not tell why.
-
-Mr. Peters at this period kept putting himself perpetually in Mrs.
-Mowbray’s way. He went past her house for his walk, he came back again
-past the Thatched Cottage. She could scarcely go out in the evening that
-he did not turn up in her path: and for some days the old lady was cruel
-enough to say nothing to him. At last one evening she called the poor
-schoolmaster to her. ‘You must make up your mind to it like a man,’ she
-said, ‘Jane is going to marry her cousin. It is all settled. The mother
-told me, like a fool.’
-
-‘All settled!’ Poor Mr. Peters grew so pale that she thought he was
-going to faint. ‘I saw him,’ he gasped, ‘only yesterday, with----’
-
-‘Never mind, yes; that’s quite true,’ said the old lady. ‘That woman has
-settled it like a fool. They are going to throw the girl away among
-them. But we cannot do anything. You must make up your mind to it like a
-man.’
-
-The schoolmaster’s stiffness and embarrassment all melted away under the
-influence of strong feeling. He took off his hat unconsciously, showing
-a face that was like ashes. ‘Then God bless her,’ he said, ‘and turn
-away the evil. If she is happy, what does it matter about me!’
-
-‘She will never be happy,’ said the old lady, ‘never, with that lout;
-and the thing for us to do is to wait. I tell you, what you’ve got to do
-is to wait. After all, the devil seldom gets things all his own way.’
-
-Mr. Peters put on his hat again, and went away with a heavy heart. He
-did not go near the Barley Mow. He went home to his room, and sat there
-very desolate, reading poetry. He could bear it, he thought; but how
-could she bear it when she came to hear of Ellen Turner and those
-meetings in the lane?
-
-At present however nothing was known of Ellen Turner at the Barley Mow.
-The very next Sunday after that the women had forgotten all the dangers
-of John’s perversity, and remembered only the fact of the engagement,
-and that all doubt was over on the point which they thought so essential
-to their happiness. Mrs. Aikin had a new bonnet on, resplendent in red
-ribbons, and the happiness in Jane’s face was better than any new
-bonnet. As it happened, there was a solo in the anthem that day which
-John sang standing up in his white surplice, and rolling out Handel’s
-great notes so that they filled the church. He had a beautiful voice,
-and while he sang poor Jane’s face was a sight to see: her countenance
-glowed with a kind of soft rapture. She clasped her hands unawares with
-the prayer-book held open in them, her eyes were raised, her lips apart,
-her nostrils slightly dilated. She had the look of a votary making a
-special offering. Poor simple Jane! There was no consciousness in her
-mind of any elevation above the rest, as she lifted that ineffable look,
-and praised God in a subdued ecstasy, offering to Him the voice of her
-beloved. For the moment Jane was as the prophets, as the poets, raised
-up above everything surrounding her, triumphing even over the doubt that
-was too ready to invade her mind at other times. She was but a country
-girl, the maid of the inn, occupying the most unelevated and most
-unelevating of positions, but yet no lady of romance could have stood on
-a higher altitude, for the time.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-This however was the last time that Jane’s look of modest, silent
-happiness could touch any heart. Whether she caught sight of some
-private telegraphing which passed between her newly-betrothed and Ellen
-Turner in the very church that very day, is not known, but other people
-saw it with wonder and forebodings. Mr. Peters, who had seen the rapture
-in Jane’s upturned face with a mingled pity and sympathy and pain which
-made him, too, heroic for the moment, perceived the nod and look of
-intelligence which passed between the baritone in the surplice and the
-little dressmaker in the free seats with an impulse of suppressed wrath
-which it took all the moral force he could command to resist. It was the
-first time the betrothed pair had appeared, as it were, in public, since
-it was known that ‘all was settled.’ And was it for this, for a vulgar
-reprobate who betrayed her at the moment of union, while the first
-happiness ought still to have been in delicate blossom, that she had
-overlooked altogether the far more worthy love of the other? He could
-not help wondering over that any more than Jane herself, a little while
-later, could help wondering. The best thrown aside, the worst chosen--is
-not this a far more poignant and wonderful evil than the tyrannies of
-parents or hindrances of fate which keep lovers apart? But no more from
-that day did Jane’s celestial content wound any sufferer. She grew
-grave, pale, almost visibly older from that moment. She withdrew herself
-from everybody. Even the old lady at the Thatched Cottage, who depended
-upon her for so many things, did not see her for weeks together. And
-their next meeting was a chance one, and took place on an August
-evening, about a month after these events. How Jane could have kept out
-of sight for so long was a mystery which nobody could have explained;
-but she had managed it somehow, sending respectful messages of regret by
-her mother. This time they met face to face without warning, as Mrs.
-Mowbray was returning in the cool of the evening from Sir Thomas
-Denzil’s, where she had been dining. The old lady sent her maid away
-instantly, so anxious was she to have a conversation with her favourite.
-Jane for her part would fain have escaped, but she could not be rude to
-her kind old patroness, and Mrs. Mowbray took her arm quite eagerly.
-‘You may go home, Morris,’ she said; and almost without waiting till the
-maid was gone, ‘What has become of you, Jane? Where have you been
-hiding? Is it because you are so happy, my dear, or for some other
-reason, that you run away from me?’ A nervous quiver went over poor
-Jane; she said with a trembling voice, ‘For another reason.’ She did not
-even look her old friend in the face.
-
-‘Then what is it, my dear? Come, tell me. Don’t you know, whatever it
-is, you can’t hide it from me?’
-
-To this Jane made answer by drooping her head and turning away her face;
-and then she pressed the old lady’s hand, which was on her arm, to her
-side, and said hastily, ‘I was coming--I wanted you to speak for me--oh!
-ma’am, if you would speak to mother! about--about----’
-
-‘What! my poor little Jane! What, dear? Tell me, tell me freely,’ said
-the old lady, almost crying. There could be but one subject that could
-excite the poor girl so.
-
-‘About John’s going away. Oh, he’s sick of this quiet place! I can see
-it--and mother takes no notice. Men are not like us women. He’s dying to
-get away, and mother she can’t see it. She humours him in words, but she
-will not do anything. Oh, ma’am, speak for us! He’s had all we have to
-give him, and he’s tired of it, and he will never be happy till he gets
-away.’
-
-‘Do you wish him to go?--You, Jane?’
-
-‘Yes,’ she cried passionately, ‘I wish it too!--it will make me happier.
-I mean not so--miserable. Oh, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. I am all
-confused like. I know--I know it’s for his good to go away----’
-
-‘But it’s your good I think of--and your mother, too,’ said Mrs.
-Mowbray. ‘We care for you, and not for him. You’ve avoided me, Jane, and
-never told me if you were happy--now that you’re engaged, you and he.’
-
-‘It was a mistake,’ she said, ‘all a mistake! We didn’t know our own
-minds. Don’t you know, ma’am, that happens sometimes? I always felt it
-was a mistake: but mother deceived herself. It’s so easy to believe what
-you wish. And he deceived himself. But now that he’s done it it drives
-him wild---- Oh, he must go--that’s the only thing that will do any
-good. If she would only see it, and let him go!’
-
-‘Do you want to break it off, Jane?’
-
-‘Oh,’ she cried, with a moan, ‘break it off! Am I one to break it off?
-But he can’t abide the place, and he wants to go.---- If he has any
-true--respect--for me--he’ll feel it when he’s gone. That’s what I
-think. Oh! ma’am, speak a word to mother, and tell her to let him go.’
-
-‘There is more in your mind,’ said the old lady: ‘but if it is as
-serious as this--I’ll go there straight, my dear. I’ll go straight and
-speak to your mother. I know you’ve got more in your mind.’
-
-Jane did not make any reply, but quickened her steps to keep up with the
-active old woman as she hurried on. Poor Jane was past all make-believe.
-‘Think!’ she said, almost under her breath, ‘what it is when he comes
-and pretends to be fond of me---- Oh, ma’am! pretends as if he loved
-me--after all I know!’ She wrung her hands, and there was a suppressed
-anguish in her voice, such as only a tender creature outraged could have
-been driven to. Then Mrs. Mowbray, who knew all the gossip of the place,
-remembered to have heard that Ellen Turner, who was a dressmaker, had
-been working at Mrs. Aikin’s--no doubt that was the cause. She went
-along quickly, almost dragging the girl with her. It was a beautiful
-evening, soft and cool after a hot day. The lights were beginning to
-twinkle about the Barley Mow. There were people sitting out on the
-bench, and people visible at the open windows with the lights behind
-them, and a murmur of cheerful voices. The scene was very homely, but
-the night was so soft, the shadows so grateful upon the refreshed earth,
-the dews so sweet, and nothing but rest and refreshment in the air.
-Overhead the sky was veiled, a few modest stars peeping from the edges
-of the clouds, nothing bright to jar upon the subdued quiet. All this
-went to Jane’s heart. She began to cry softly, as she looked with
-wistful eyes at her home. The sensation subdued her. So peaceful and
-quiet, with the vague, half-dim figures about, the cheerful lights in
-the windows, was it possible that there could be such trouble there?
-
-But all at once there came a jarring note into this tranquillity--the
-sound of a woman’s voice raised in anger. They were going towards the
-garden door, but before they reached it somebody was pushed out
-violently, and, half falling forward, came stumbling against Jane, who
-was straight in the way. ‘Get out of my sight, you little baggage, you
-treacherous, wicked, lying creature, you bad girl!’ cried Mrs. Aikin in
-a furious voice. Jane clutched at Mrs. Mowbray’s arm, and shrank back,
-while the girl who had stumbled against her gave a sudden scream of
-dismay. It was Ellen Turner, her cheeks blazing red with anger, though
-the sight of Jane cowed her. ‘What have you been doing, you little
-flirt?’ cried old Mrs. Mowbray. ‘If a man speaks to me, ain’t I to give
-him a civil answer?’ cried the girl, standing still, and preparing to
-give battle. Jane did not say a word. She shook herself free of the old
-lady without knowing what she did, and went in to her mother, without as
-much as a look at the other. As soon as she had disappeared John showed
-himself out of the darkness like a spectre. ‘Run, Nell, run,’ he said.
-‘She’s to-morrow. She’s in Jane’s hands, I’ll see you safe now. Run.
-Nell, run.’ And he darted back again among the guests, and threw himself
-into his work with devotion. Never before had John been seen so busy and
-so civil. Who could interfere with him in the middle of his work? He was
-as safe as if he had been at church.
-
-What had happened was that Mrs. Aikin had found her nephew and the
-little dressmaker together, on very affectionate terms, and her outburst
-of sudden wrath was very hot and violent. But after the first moment it
-was entirely against Ellen that her anger was directed, and she was as
-little willing as before to listen to Mrs. Mowbray’s suggestion that he
-should be sent away. She was, like most women of her class, perhaps like
-most women of all classes, furious against the girl, half sorry for,
-half contemptuous of, the man. ‘Lord, what could Johnny do against one
-of them artful things?’ she said, when she had calmed down. ‘It’s Jane’s
-fault, as don’t talk to him enough, nor keep him going. That minx shall
-never set foot in my house again.’ Jane said very little while her
-mother talked thus. She was very pale, and her breath came quickly, but
-she betrayed no emotion either of grief or anger. She stood still by her
-mother’s side while Mrs. Aikin cried and sobbed. Jane was past all that.
-She said, ‘He don’t know his own mind, mother. Let him go as he wishes.’
-They were both made incapable of work by this sudden incident. But
-John--John had turned into a model of industry and carefulness. While
-the two women retired into their little parlour with the door shut, he,
-safe from all interference, kept everything going. He ran about here and
-there, attending to everybody, civil and thoughtful. When he was asked
-what was the matter, he answered carelessly, ‘Some row among the women,’
-as if that was too trifling and too everyday a matter for his notice. He
-had never shown so much cleverness in all his life before.
-
-Even after this however the widow still temporized. Yes, she said in
-words, she would let him go, but after the bustle was over--after the
-summer work was done with. She gave a hundred excuses, and invented new
-reasons constantly for her delay. Jane said little, having said all she
-could. A new reserve crept over her, she talked to nobody--went no more
-to talk to Mrs. Peters, and never saw her old friend at the Thatched
-Cottage when she could help it. She was sick of her false position, as
-well as of those pangs which she told to nobody, which were all shut up
-in her own heart. No more in church or otherwise did the look of
-happiness come back to her face. When John sang she would stand with her
-eyes fixed on her book, or else would cover her face with her hand. The
-beautiful song was no longer hers to be offered up to God’s praise. But
-sometimes during the sermon her eyes would turn unconsciously to that
-foolish pretty face in the free seats--the pink and white countenance of
-Ellen Turner, inferior in beauty as in everything else to herself. ‘What
-is there in her that is better than me? Why should she be preferred to
-me?’ was what Jane was asking herself, with a wondering pain that was
-half self-abasement and half indignation. Just so good Mr. Peters, in
-the school pew, gazed from her to the loutish baritone in his surplice
-and back again. Why should fate be so contradictory and hearts so
-bitterly deceived?
-
-This state of affairs however could not go on very long--and it came to
-a conclusion quite suddenly at last. There was an agricultural show in
-the neighbourhood some twenty miles off from Dinglefield, to which all
-the rural people of the neighbourhood, and John among them, went at the
-end of August. In other circumstances Jane would have gone with her
-cousin; but she had no heart for shows of any kind. In the evening most
-of the Dinglefield people came home, but not John. Mrs. Aikin was
-evidently frightened by his non-appearance, but she made the best of it.
-‘He had gone off with some of his friends,’ she said, ‘and of course he
-had missed his train. He was always missing trains. He was the
-carelessest lad!’ But when next day came, and the next, with no news of
-John, the mother and daughter could no longer disguise their alarm. The
-widow ‘was in such a way’ that her friends gathered round her full of
-condolence and encouragements; and Mrs. Mowbray herself put on her
-bonnet, and went to tell her not to be a fool, and to bid her remember
-that young men cannot be held in like girls. ‘I know that, ma’am, I know
-that,’ said Mrs. Aikin, soothed. The rest of her consolers had
-encouraged her by telling her they had always foreseen it, and that this
-was what over-indulgence always came to at last. The widow turned her
-back upon these Job’s comforters, and clutched at Mrs. Mowbray’s shawl.
-‘I’ve held him too tight, ma’am, and I should have taken your advice,’
-she said. They had sent expresses in all directions in search of him,
-and that very evening they had information that he had enlisted in the
-regiment to which his father had formerly belonged, and which was at the
-time quartered in the town where the show had been held. This is always,
-though it is hard to say why, terrible news for a decent family.
-‘’Listed!’ do not all the vagabonds, the good-for-nothings, ’list? It
-was Mr. Peters who brought this news to the two anxious women. He had
-been in Castleville ‘by accident,’ he said; the truth being that he had
-given the children a holiday on purpose to offer this humble service to
-the woman who had his heart. It was good news, though it was such bad
-news, for the widow’s imagination had begun to jump at all sorts of
-fatal accidents, and he was made kindly welcome, and allowed to remain
-with them until Mrs. Aikin’s first fit of distress and relief, and shame
-and vexation, and content was over. ‘It’s his father, it’s all his
-father,’ she said. ‘Such a thought would never, never have come into our
-Johnny’s head.’ Mr. Peters, with trembling anxiety, observed that Jane
-did not say a word. She was moving about with her usual quickness,
-preparing tea, that the kind visitor who had taken so much trouble
-should have some refreshment after his long walk. She was full of
-suppressed excitement, her cheek less pale than usual, her eyes shining.
-But she said nothing till her mother’s outburst was over. Mrs. Aikin was
-a foolish, softhearted, sanguine woman. As soon as she knew the worst
-her mind leapt at a universal mending and making up. She had no sooner
-dried her eyes and swallowed a cup of tea, after protesting that she
-‘could not touch it,’ than she began with a certain timidity in another
-tone.
-
-‘It’s well known what most families do when such a thing happens,’ she
-said with a sigh, ‘folks as has more money than we have. And I’ve heard
-say as it was a foolish thing; but when you consider all things---- lads
-is so silly, they never see what they’re doing till after it’s done, and
-past changing--past their changing I mean.’
-
-Jane did not say anything, but she stood still suddenly in the middle of
-the room to listen, with a startled look.
-
-‘I dare to say he’s repented long before this,’ said the widow, ‘him as
-never was put to hard work nor ordered about, him as had most things his
-own way, though he mightn’t know it. It might have been better for
-Johnny if you and me hadn’t been so fond of him, Jane--and it will all
-tell upon him now. We’ve spoiled him, and we’re leaving him to bear it
-by himself! Oh! Jane! Jane!’
-
-‘What is it, mother? You are thinking of something,’ said Jane with a
-harsh tone, quite unusual to her, in her voice.
-
-‘Oh, Jane, you’re hard-hearted, you ain’t forgiving, you’re not like
-me,’ cried the widow. ‘If you were the girl folks think you, you would
-come to me on your knees, that’s what you would do, to get me to buy him
-off.’
-
-‘Oh, mother, mother, I knew that was what you were coming to. Don’t do
-it! I cannot bear it. I cannot go on with it. You may save him, but
-you’ll kill me.’
-
-‘Kill you!--what has it got to do with you?’ said Mrs. Aikin, drying her
-eyes. ‘Thank the Lord, it ain’t so bad but what it can be mended--when
-one comes to think of it! I’ll write to the lawyer this very night.’
-
-‘If I can be of any use--’ said Mr. Peters, faltering. The more he felt
-it was against himself, the more he was anxious to do it to show, if
-only to himself, that it was Jane and not his own interest that was
-nearest to his thoughts. But the poor man felt chilled to the heart as
-he made his offer. He did not understand Jane. It was only an impulse of
-anger, he thought, against the lover for whom, no doubt, she was longing
-in her heart.
-
-‘You’re very kind, Mr. Peters--very kind. I’ll never forget it--and you
-think it’s the right thing, don’t you now? He ain’t fit for the army,
-isn’t Johnny. He was always delicate in the chest, and needs to be taken
-a deal of notice of. And to give him up all for one thing--all for a
-minute’s foolishness.’
-
-‘Mother!’ said Jane, with a shrill tone of passion in her voice, ‘he is
-not to come back here again; let him be!’
-
-‘No--no--no. You’ll be the first to thank me, though you’ve lost your
-temper now. The fright will do him a deal of good,’ Mrs. Aikin said,
-getting up with all her cheerfulness restored. ‘We’ll leave him a week
-or so just to see the error of his ways, and then we’ll buy him off, and
-have him back, and settle everything. Poor lad! You may take my word
-he’s miserable enough, thinking of you and me, and wondering what we are
-thinking of him. Poor John! We won’t go on shilly-shallying any longer,
-but we’ll have it all settled when he comes home.’
-
-She was still speaking with the smile on her face which these pleasant
-anticipations had brought there when a sudden commotion got up
-outside--loud voices, and something like a scuffle. Sounds of this kind
-are not so rare or so alarming even at the best regulated of taverns as
-they are in a private house, and the widow paid but little attention.
-She went across the room and opened her big, old-fashioned chest. Her
-heart was warmed and her face brightened by her resolution. Jane gave a
-glance of despair at Mr. Peters (which he no more understood than if he
-had not seen it). She went across the room after her mother, and laid
-her hand on her shoulder. ‘Mother,’ she said, ‘don’t do it--don’t do it;
-let him have his choice.’
-
-‘Ah! what was that?’ cried Mrs. Aikin with a start.
-
-The disturbance outside continued, and just at this moment the words
-became audible, along with the sound of steps rushing to the door. ‘My
-‘usband, my ‘usband!’ cried the voice; ‘what have you done with my
-‘usband?’ The mother and daughter turned round by a common impulse, and
-looked at each other--then stood as if stiffened into stone, with their
-faces to the door. Without another word said they knew what it meant.
-They needed no further explanation, nor the sight of Ellen Turner, all
-in disorder, with her hair hanging about her neck, and her face swollen
-with tears, who suddenly dashed the door open and came wildly in. ‘John,
-John! I want my ‘usband!’ the poor creature cried, half demented. Jane
-shrank back against her mother, leaning on her heavily, then cast a
-wondering gaze around, appealing, as it were, to earth and heaven. Could
-it be true? She put out one hand to the girl to silence her, and turned
-round and leant against the wall, with a gasp for breath and a low moan.
-This was all the demonstration she made. She was not even conscious of
-the altercation that followed, the crying, and questioning, and denying.
-Jane turned her face to the wall. People have died and broken their
-hearts with less pain. The world seemed to go round with her, and all
-truth and sense to fail.
-
-When she was seen again, which indeed was next day, moving about her
-work as if nothing had happened, Jane was like a ghost in the first
-morning light. All the blood seemed to have been drained out of her. She
-was like a marble woman, moving unconsciously, not touched by anything
-she did. ‘I am quite well,’ she said when people asked, ‘quite well, and
-quite right, there is nothing the matter.’ As for the poor
-schoolmaster, he went home that night sobbing in the great pity of his
-heart. Though he loved her so, the good fellow felt that if anything
-could have brought back to her the wretched lout whom she had loved he
-would have done it had it cost him his life: but Mr. Peters had to go
-away helpless, unable to save her a single pang, as most of us one time
-or other have to do.
-
-When and how John had found means and ways to make himself Ellen
-Turner’s husband, or whether he had really done so at all, remained
-always a mystery to the Green. But she went off to him, and became a
-wretched hanger-on of the regiment, from which Mrs. Aikin no longer
-thought of buying him off. Nothing else could have settled the question
-so summarily, and but for Jane’s stony face all the neighbourhood would
-have been glad. Her misery, which was so patient and sweet, and of which
-she talked to no one, lasted a great deal longer than it ought to have
-done, everybody felt. But it could not last for ever. Bad enough that
-such a girl should waste the first sweetness of her life on such a
-delusion, but the delusion must come to an end some time. After a longer
-interval than pleased the Green, an interval of which old Mrs. Mowbray
-was very impatient, declaring pettishly a hundred times that she would
-marry off the faithful Peters to some one if Jane did not mind, Jane
-came to herself. She is now the mistress of the school-room, if not the
-schoolmistress, with too many children of her own to be able to take
-charge of those of the parish, but so ‘comfortable,’ with what the
-Barley Mow affords, that the schoolmaster’s income requires no eking out
-from her work. She is far better off, and in circumstances much more
-congenial to her than if she had been able to carry out the plan which
-had been her early dream, and which she and her mother had so
-passionately wished. And Jane is happy: but the scar of the old wound
-has never departed, and never will depart. It is unforgettable for the
-sake of the pain, more than for the sake of the love. As for the
-faithful Peters, he is as happy as ever schoolmaster was, and very
-proper and mindful of his position, and would not sit on a bench outside
-a village inn now-a-days night after night, as he once did, not for any
-inducement in the world.
-
-Mrs. Aikin held out, and kept her place after Jane was married as long
-as that was practicable, but has sold the business now (and it brought
-in a pretty penny), and lives very happily with a cow of her own and a
-poultry yard, and half-a-dozen grandchildren. Happy woman! She has no
-scar upon her comfortable soul, and knows of no mistake she ever made:
-but she feeds the hungry mouths of her wretched nephew and his wretched
-family, and does not grumble, for, after all, she says, ‘Nature is
-Nature, and it was all his father’s fault.’
-
- THE END.
-
- * * * * *
-
-
-
-
- MY FAITHFUL JOHNNY
-
- DEDICATED TO F. W. C. AND B. C.
-
-
-
-
-My Faithful Johnny
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-
-Everybody knows the charming song which is called by this name. I hear
-it sometimes in a young household full of life and kindness and music,
-where it is sung to me, with a tender indulgence for my weakness and
-limited apprehension of higher efforts, by the most sympathetic and
-softest of voices. A kind half-smile mingles in the music on these
-occasions. Those dear people think I like it because the translated
-‘words’ have a semblance of being Scotch, and I am a Scot. But the words
-are not Scotch, nor is this their charm. I don’t even know what they
-are. ‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie.’ That, or indeed the name
-even is enough for me. I confess that I am not musical. When I hear
-anything that I like much, at least from an instrument, I instantly
-conceive a contempt for it, feeling that it must be inferior somehow to
-have commended itself to me. I wander vainly seeking an idea through
-fields and plains of sonatas. So do a great many other lowly people,
-like me, not gifted with taste or (fit) hearing; but, if you will only
-suggest an idea to me, I will thankfully accept that clue. I don’t
-understand anything about dominant sevenths or any mathematical
-quantity. ‘How much?’ I feel inclined to say with the most vulgar.
-Therefore ‘My Faithful Johnny’ charms me because this is a suggestion of
-which my fancy is capable. I don’t know who the faithful Johnny was,
-except that he is to come again, and that somebody, presumably, is
-looking for him; and, with this guide, the song takes a hundred tones,
-sorrowful, wistful and penetrating. I see the patient waiting, the doubt
-which is faith, the long vigil--and hear the soft cadence of sighs, and
-with them, through the distance, the far-off notes of the promise--never
-realized, always expected--‘I will come again.’ This is how I like to
-have my music. I am an ignorant person. They smile and humour me with
-just a tender touch of the faintest, kindest contempt. Stay--not
-contempt; the word is far too harsh; let us say indulgence--the meaning
-is very much the same.
-
-I do not think I had ever heard the song when I first became acquainted
-with the appearance of a man with whom, later, this title became
-completely identified. He was young--under thirty--when I saw him first,
-passing my house every morning as regular as the clock on his way to his
-work, and coming home in the evening swinging his cane, with a book
-under his arm, his coat just a little rusty, his trousers clinging to
-his knees more closely than well-bred trousers cling, his hat pushed
-back a little from his forehead. It was unnecessary to ask what he was.
-He was a clerk in an office. This may be anything, the reader knows,
-from a lofty functionary managing public business, to numberless
-nobodies who toil in dusty offices and are in no way better than their
-fate. It was to this order that my clerk belonged. Every day of his
-life, except that blessed Sunday which sets such toilers free, he walked
-along the irregular pavement of the long suburban road in which I lived
-at nine o’clock in the morning were it wet or dry; and between five and
-six he would come back. After all, though it was monotonous, it was not
-a hard life, for he had the leisure of the whole long evening to make up
-for the bondage of the day. He was a pale man with light hair, and a
-face more worn than either his years or his labours warranted. But his
-air of physical weakness must have been due to his colourless
-complexion, or some other superficial cause, for his extreme and
-unbroken regularity was inconsistent with anything less than thoroughly
-good health. He carried his head slightly thrown back, and his step had
-a kind of irregularity in it which made it familiar to me among many
-others; at each half dozen steps or so his foot would drag upon the
-pavement, giving a kind of rhythm to his progress. All these particulars
-I became aware of, not suddenly, but by dint of long unconscious
-observation, day after day, day after day, for so many years. Never was
-there a clerk more respectable, more regular. I found out after a while
-that he lodged about half a mile further on in one of the little houses
-into which the road dwindled as it streamed out towards the chaos which
-on all sides surrounds London--and that when he passed my house he was
-on his way to or from the omnibus which started from a much-frequented
-corner about a quarter of a mile nearer town. All the far-off ends of
-the ways that lead into town and its bustle have interests of this kind.
-I am one of the people, I fear somewhat vulgar-minded, who love my
-window and to see people pass. I do not care for the dignity of
-seclusion. I would rather not, unless I were sure of being always a
-happy member of a large cheerful household, be divided from the common
-earth even by the trees and glades of the most beautiful park. I like to
-see the men go to their work, and the women to their marketing. But no;
-the latter occupation is out of date--the women go to their work too;
-slim, young daily governesses, hard-worked music-mistresses, with the
-invariable roll of music. How soon one gets to know them all, and have a
-glimmering perception of their individualities--though you may see them
-every day for years before you know their names!
-
-After I had been acquainted (at a distance) with him for some time, and
-had got to know exactly what o’clock it was when he passed, a change
-came upon my clerk. One summer evening I saw him very much smartened up,
-his coat brushed, a pair of trousers on with which I was not familiar,
-and a rosebud in his button-hole, _coming back_. I was thunderstruck. It
-was a step so contrary to all traditions that my heart stopped beating
-while I looked at him. It was all I could do not to run down and ask
-what was the matter. Had something gone wrong in the City? Was there a
-panic, or a crisis, or something in the money-market? But no; that could
-not be. The spruceness of the man, the rose in his coat, contradicted
-this alarm; and as I watched disquieted, lo! he crossed the road before
-my eyes, and turning down Pleasant Place, which was opposite,
-disappeared, as I could faintly perceive in the distance, into one of
-the houses. This was the first of a long series of visits. And after a
-while I saw _her_, the object of these visits, the heroine of the
-romance. She also was one of those with whom I had made acquaintance at
-my window--a trim little figure in black, with a roll of music, going
-out and in two or three times a day, giving music lessons. I was quite
-glad to think that she had been one of my favourites too. My clerk went
-modestly at long intervals at first, then began to come oftener, and
-finally settled down as a nightly visitor. But this was a long and slow
-process, and I think it had lasted for years before I came into actual
-contact with the personages of this tranquil drama. It was only during
-the summer that I could see them from my window and observe what was
-going on. When at the end of a long winter I first became aware that he
-went to see her every evening, I confess to feeling a little excitement
-at the idea of a marriage shortly to follow; but that was altogether
-premature. It went on summer after summer, winter after winter,
-disappearing by intervals from my eyes, coming fresh with the spring
-flowers and the long evenings. Once passing down Pleasant Place towards
-some scorched fields that lay beyond--fields that began to be invaded by
-new houses and cut up by foundation digging, and roadmaking, and
-bricklaying, but where there was still room for the boys, and my boys,
-among others, to play cricket--I had a glimpse of a little interior
-which quickened my interest more and more. The houses in Pleasant Place
-were small and rather shabby, standing on one side only of the street.
-The other was formed by the high brick wall of the garden of a big
-old-fashioned house, still standing amid all the new invasions which had
-gradually changed the character of the district. There were trees
-visible over the top of this wall, and it was believed in the
-neighbourhood that the upper windows of the houses in Pleasant Place
-looked over it into the garden. In fact, I had myself not long before
-condoled with the proprietor of the said garden upon the inconvenience
-of being thus overlooked. For this hypocrisy my heart smote me when I
-went along the little street, and saw the little houses all gasping with
-open windows for a breath of the air which the high wall intercepted.
-They had little front gardens scorched with the fervid heat. At the open
-window of No. 7 sat my clerk with his colourless head standing out
-against the dark unknown of the room. His face was in profile. It was
-turned towards some one who was singing softly the song of which I have
-placed the name at the head of this story. The soft, pensive music came
-tender and low out of the unseen room. The musician evidently needed no
-light, for it was almost twilight, and the room was dark. The
-accompaniment was played in the truest taste, soft as the summer air
-that earned the sound to our ears. ‘I know!’ I cried to my companion
-with some excitement, ‘that is what he is. I have always felt that was
-the name for him.’ ‘The name for whom?’ she asked bewildered. ‘My
-faithful Johnny,’ I replied; which filled her with greater bewilderment
-still.
-
-And all that summer long the faithful Johnny went and came as usual.
-Often he and she would take little walks in the evening, always at that
-same twilight hour. It seemed the moment of leisure, as if she had
-duties at home from which she was free just then. When we went away in
-August they were taking their modest little promenades together in the
-cool of the evening; and when we came back in October, as long as the
-daylight served to see them by, the same thing went on. As the days
-shortened he changed his habits so far as to go to Pleasant Place at
-once before going home, that there might still be light enough (I felt
-sure) for her walk. But by and by the advancing winter shut out this
-possibility: or rather, I could not see any longer what happened about
-six o’clock. One evening however, coming home to dinner from a late
-visit, I met them suddenly, walking along the lighted street. For the
-first time they were arm-in-arm, perhaps because it was night, though no
-later than usual. She was talking to him with a certain familiar ease of
-use and wont as if they had been married for years, smiling and
-chattering and lighting up his mild somewhat weary countenance with
-responsive smiles. ‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie----’ I
-smiled at myself as these words came into my head, I could not tell why.
-How could he come again when, it was evident, no will of his would ever
-take him away? Was she fair enough to be the ‘sweet and bonnie’ of a
-man’s heart? She was not a beauty; nobody would have distinguished her
-even as the prettiest girl in Pleasant Place. But her soft, bright face
-as she looked up to him: a smile on it of the sunniest kind; a little
-humorous twist about the corners of the mouth; a pair of clear, honest
-brown eyes; a round cheek with a dimple in it--caught my heart at once
-as they must have caught his. I could understand (I thought) what it
-must have been to the dry existence of the respectable clerk, the
-old-young and prematurely faded, to have this fresh spring of life, and
-talk, and smiles, and song welling up into it, transforming everything.
-He smiled back upon her as they walked along in the intermittent light
-of the shop windows. I could almost believe that I saw his lips forming
-the words as he looked at her, ‘My sweet and bonnie.’ Yes; she was good
-enough and fair enough to merit the description. ‘But I wish they would
-marry,’ I said to myself. Why did not they marry? He looked patient
-enough for anything; but even patience ought to come to an end. I chafed
-at the delay, though I had nothing to do with it. What was the meaning
-of it? I felt that it ought to come to an end.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-
-It was some months after this, when I took the bold step of making
-acquaintance on my own account with this pair; not exactly with the
-pair, but with the one who was most accessible. It happened that a
-sudden need for music lessons arose in the family. One of the children,
-who had hitherto regarded that study with repugnance, and who had been
-accordingly left out in all the musical arrangements of her brothers and
-sisters, suddenly turned round by some freak of nature and demanded the
-instruction which she had previously resisted. How could we expect
-Fräulein Stimme, whose ministrations she had scorned, to descend to the
-beggarly elements, and take up again one who was so far behind the
-others? ‘I cannot ask her,’ I said; ‘you may do it yourself, Chatty, if
-you are so much in earnest, but I cannot take it upon me;’ and it was
-not until Chatty had declared with tears that to approach Fräulein
-Stimme on her own account was impossible, that a brilliant idea struck
-me. ‘Ten o’clock!’ I cried; which was an exclamation which would have
-gone far to prove me out of my senses had any severe critic been
-listening. This was the title which had been given to the little
-music-mistress in Pleasant Place, before she had become associated in
-our minds with the faithful clerk. And I confess that, without waiting
-to think, without more ado, I ran to get my hat, and was out of doors in
-a moment. It was very desirable, no doubt, that Chatty should make up
-lost ground and begin her lessons at once, but that was not my sole
-motive. When I found myself out of doors in a damp and foggy November
-morning, crossing the muddy road in the first impulse of eagerness, it
-suddenly dawned upon me that there were several obstacles in my way. In
-the first place I did not even know her name. I knew the house, having
-seen her, and especially him, enter it so often; but what to call her,
-who to ask for, I did not know. She might, I reflected, be only a
-lodger, not living with her parents, which up to this time I had taken
-for granted; or she might be too accomplished in her profession to teach
-Chatty the rudiments--a thing which, when I reflected upon the song I
-had heard, and other scraps of music which had dropped upon my ears in
-passing, seemed very likely. However I was launched, and could not go
-back. I felt very small, humble, and blamably impulsive however when I
-had knocked at the door of No. 7, and stood somewhat alarmed waiting a
-reply. The door was opened by a small maid-servant, with a very long
-dress and her apron folded over one arm, who stared, yet evidently
-recognized me, not without respect, as belonging to one of the great
-houses in the road. This is a kind of aristocratical position in the
-suburbs. One is raised to a kind of personage by all the denizens of the
-little streets and terraces. She made me a clumsy little curtsey, and
-grinned amicably. And I was encouraged by the little maid. She was about
-fifteen, rather grimy, in a gown much too long for her; but yet her foot
-was upon her native heath, and I was an intruder. She knew all about the
-family, no doubt, and who they were, and the name of my clerk, and the
-relations in which he stood to her young mistress, while I was only a
-stranger feebly guessing, and impertinently spying upon all these
-things.
-
-‘Is the young lady at home?’ I asked, with much humility.
-
-The girl stared at me with wide-open eyes; then she said with a broad
-smile, ‘You mean Miss Ellen, don’t ye, miss?’ In these regions it is
-supposed to be complimentary to say ‘Miss,’ as creating a pleasant
-fiction of perpetual youth.
-
-‘To tell the truth,’ I said, with a consciousness of doing my best to
-conciliate this creature, ‘I don’t know her name. It was about some
-music lessons.’
-
-‘Miss Ellen isn’t in,’ said the girl, ‘but missus is sure to see you if
-you will step into the parlour, miss;’ and she opened to me the door of
-the room in which I had seen my faithful Johnny at the window, and heard
-her singing to him, in the twilight, her soft song. It was a commonplace
-little parlour, with a faded carpet and those appalling mahogany and
-hair-cloth chairs which no decorative genius, however brilliant, could
-make anything of. What so easy as to say that good taste and care can
-make any house pretty? This little room was very neat, and I don’t doubt
-that Miss Ellen’s faithful lover found a little paradise in it; but it
-made my heart sink foolishly to see how commonplace it all was; a
-greenish-whitish woollen cover on the table, a few old photographic
-albums, terrible antimacassars in crochet work upon the backs of the
-chairs. I sat down and contemplated the little mirror on the mantelpiece
-and the cheap little vases with dismay. We are all prejudiced now-a-days
-on this question of furniture. My poor little music-mistress! how was
-she to change the chairs and tables she had been born to? But, to tell
-the truth, I wavered and doubted whether she was worthy of him when I
-looked round upon all the antimacassars, and the dried grasses in the
-green vase.
-
-While I was struggling against this first impression the door opened,
-and the mistress of the house came in. She was a little woman, stout and
-roundabout, with a black cap decorated with flowers, but a fresh little
-cheerful face under this tremendous head-dress which neutralized it. She
-came up to me with a smile and would have shaken hands, had I been at
-all prepared for such a warmth of salutation, and then she began to
-apologize for keeping me waiting. ‘When my daughter is out I have to do
-all the waiting upon him myself. He doesn’t like to be left alone, and
-he can’t bear anybody but me or Ellen in the room with him,’ she said.
-Perhaps she had explained beforehand who he was, but in the confusion of
-the first greeting I had not made it out. Then I stated my business, and
-she brightened up still more.
-
-‘Oh, yes; I am sure Ellen will undertake it with great pleasure. In the
-Road at No. 16? Oh, it is no distance; it will be no trouble; and she is
-so glad to extend her connection. With private teaching it is such a
-great matter to extend your connection. It is very kind of you to have
-taken the trouble to come yourself. Perhaps one of Ellen’s ladies, who
-are all so kind to her, mentioned our name?’
-
-‘That is just where I am at a loss,’ I said uneasily. ‘No; but I have
-seen her passing all these years, always so punctual, with her bright
-face. She has been a great favourite of mine for a long time, though I
-don’t know her name.’
-
-The mother’s countenance brightened after a moment’s doubt. ‘Yes,’ she
-said, ‘she is a good girl--always a bright face. She is the life of the
-house.’
-
-‘And I have seen,’ said I, hesitating more and more, ‘a gentleman. I
-presume there is to be a marriage by and by. You must pardon my
-curiosity, I have taken so much interest in them.’
-
-A good many changes passed over the mother’s face. Evidently she was not
-at all sure about my curiosity, whether perhaps it might not be
-impertinent.
-
-‘Ah!’ she said, with a little nod, ‘you have remarked John. Yes, of
-course, it was sure to be remarked, so constantly as he comes. I need
-not make any secret of it. In one way I would rather he did not come so
-often; but it is a pleasure to Ellen. Yes; I may say they are engaged.’
-
-Engaged? After all these years! But I remembered that I had no right,
-being an intruder, to say anything. ‘I have seen them in the summer
-evenings----’
-
-‘Yes, yes,’ she said; ‘yes,’ with again a nod of her head. ‘Perhaps it
-was imprudent, for you never can tell whether these things will come to
-anything; but it was her only time for a little pleasure. Poor child, I
-always see that she gets that hour. They go out still, though you would
-not say it would do her much good in the dark; out there is nothing she
-enjoys so much. She is the best girl that ever was. I don’t know what I
-should do without her;’ and there was a glimmer of moisture in the
-mother’s eyes.
-
-‘But,’ I said, ‘surely after a while they are going to be married?’
-
-‘I don’t know. I don’t see how her father can spare her.’ The cheerful
-face lost all its brightness as she spoke, and she shook her head. ‘He
-is so fond of Ellen, the only girl we have left now; he can’t bear her
-out of his sight. She is such a good girl, and so devoted.’ The mother
-faltered a little--perhaps my question made her think--at all events, it
-was apparent that everything was not so simple and straightforward for
-the young pair as I in my ignorance had thought.
-
-But I had no excuse to say any more. It was no business of mine, as
-people say. I settled that Ellen was to come at a certain hour next day,
-which was all that remained to be done. When I glanced round the room
-again as I left, it had changed its aspect to me, and looked like a
-prison. Was the poor girl bound there, and unable to get free? As the
-mother opened the door for me, the sound of an imperious voice calling
-her came down-stairs. She called back, ‘I am coming, James, I am
-coming;’ then let me out hurriedly. And I went home feeling as if I had
-torn the covering from a mystery, and as if the house in Pleasant Place,
-so tranquil, so commonplace, was the scene of some tragic story, to end
-one could not tell how. But there was no mystery at all about it: When
-‘Miss Harwood’ was announced to me next day, I was quite startled by the
-name, not associating it with any one; but the moment the little
-music-mistress appeared, with her little roll in her hand, her trim
-figure, her smiling face, and fresh look of health and happiness, my
-suspicions disappeared like the groundless fancies they were. She was
-delighted to have a new pupil, and one so near, whom it would be ‘no
-trouble’ to attend; and so pleased when I (with much timidity, I
-confess) ventured to tell her how long I had known her, and how I had
-watched for her at my window, and all the observations I had made. She
-brightened, and laughed and blushed, and declared it was very kind of me
-to take such an interest; then hung her head for a moment, and laughed
-and blushed still more, when my confessions went the length of the
-faithful lover. But this was nothing but a becoming girlish shyness, for
-next minute she looked me frankly in the face, with the prettiest colour
-dyeing her round cheek. ‘I think he knows you too,’ she said. ‘We met
-you once out walking, and he told me, “There is the lady who lives in
-the Road, whom I always see at the window.” We hoped you were better to
-see you out.’ And then it was my turn to feel gratified, which I did
-unfeignedly. I had gone through a great deal of trouble, cheered by my
-spectatorship of life-out-of-doors from that window. And I was pleased
-that they had taken some friendly notice of me too.
-
-‘And I suppose,’ I said, returning to my theme, ‘that it will not be
-long now before you reward his faithfulness. Must Chatty leave you then?
-or will you go on, do you think, taking pupils after--?’
-
-She gave me a little bewildered look. ‘I don’t think I know what you
-mean.’
-
-‘After you are married,’ I said plumply. ‘That must be coming soon now.’
-
-Then she burst out with a genial, pretty laugh, blushing and shaking her
-head. ‘Oh, no; we do not think of such a thing! Not yet. They couldn’t
-spare me at home. John--I mean, Mr. Ridgway--knows that. My father has
-been ill so long; he wants attendance night and day, and I don’t know
-what mother would do without me. Oh dear no; we are very happy as we
-are. We don’t even think of that.’
-
-‘But you must think of it some time, surely, in justice to him,’ I said,
-half indignant for my faithful Johnny’s sake.
-
-‘Yes, I suppose so, some time,’ she said, with a momentary gravity
-stealing over her face--gravity and perplexity too: and a little pucker
-came into her forehead. How to do it? A doubt, a question, seemed to
-enter her mind for a moment. Then she gave her head a shake, dismissing
-the clouds from her cheerful firmament, and with a smiling decision set
-down Chatty to the piano. Chatty had fallen in love with Miss Harwood,
-her own particular music-mistress, in whom no one else had any share, on
-the spot.
-
-And after a while we all fell in love, one after another, with Miss
-Ellen. She was one of those cheerful people who never make a fuss about
-anything, never are put out, or make small troubles into great ones. We
-tried her in every way, as is not unusual with a large, somewhat
-careless, family, in whose minds it was a settled principle that, so
-long as you did a thing some time or other, it did not at all matter
-when you did it--and that times and seasons were of no particular
-importance to any one but Fräulein Stimme. _She_, of course--our natural
-disorderliness had to give way to her; but I am afraid it very soon came
-to be said in the house, ‘Ellen will not mind.’ And Ellen did not mind;
-if twelve o’clock proved inconvenient for the lesson, she only smiled
-and said, ‘It is no matter; I will come in at three.’ And if at three
-Fräulein Stimme’s clutches upon Chatty were still unclosed, she would do
-anything that happened to be needed--gather the little ones round the
-piano and teach them songs, or go out with my eldest daughter for her
-walk, or talk to me. How many talks we had upon every subject
-imaginable! Ellen was not what is called clever. She had read very few
-books. My eldest daughter aforesaid despised her somewhat on this
-account, and spoke condescendingly of this or that as ‘what Ellen says.’
-But it was astonishing, after all, how often ‘what Ellen says’ was
-quoted. There were many things which Ellen had not thought anything
-about; and on these points she was quite ignorant; for she had not read
-what other people had thought about them, and was unprepared with an
-opinion; but whenever the subject had touched her own intelligence, she
-knew very well what she thought. And by dint of being a little lower
-down in the social order than we were, she knew familiarly a great many
-things which we knew only theoretically and did not understand. For
-instance, that fine shade of difference which separates people with a
-hundred and fifty pounds a year from people with weekly wages was a
-thing which had always altogether eluded me. I had divined that a
-workman with three pounds a week was well off, and a clerk with the
-same, paid quarterly, was poor; but wherein lay the difference, and how
-it was that the latter occupied a superior position to the former, I
-have never been able to fathom. Ellen belonged, herself, to this class.
-Her father had been in one of the lower departments of a public office,
-and had retired with a pension of exactly this amount after some thirty
-years’ service. There was a time in his life, to which she regretfully
-yet proudly referred as ‘the time when we were well off,’ in which his
-salary had risen to two hundred and fifty pounds a year. That was the
-time when she got her education and developed the taste for music which
-was now supplying her with work which she liked, and a little provision
-for herself. There was no scorn or _hauteur_ in Ellen; but she talked of
-the working classes with as distinct a consciousness of being apart from
-and superior to them as if she had been a duchess. It was no virtue of
-hers; but still Providence had placed her on a different level, and she
-behaved herself accordingly. Servants and shopkeepers, of the minor kind
-at least, were within the same category to her--people to be perfectly
-civil to, and kind to, but, as a matter of course, not the kind of
-people whom in her position it would become her to associate with. When
-I asked myself why I should smile at this, or wherein it was more
-unreasonable than other traditions of social superiority, I could not
-give any answer. We are not ourselves, so far as I know, sons of the
-Crusaders, and it is very difficult to say what is the social figment of
-rank by which we hold so dearly. Ellen Harwood exhibited to us the
-instinct of aristocracy on one of its lower levels; and one learned a
-lesson while one smiled in one’s sleeve. Never was anything more
-certain, more serious, than her sense of class distinctions, and the
-difference between one degree and another; and nobody, not a prince of
-the blood, would have less understood being laughed at. This serene
-consciousness of her position and its inherent right divine was a
-possession inalienable to our music-mistress. She would have
-comprehended or endured no trifling or jesting with it. One blushed
-while one laughed in an undertone. She was holding the mirror up to
-nature without being aware of it. And there were various fanciful
-particulars also in her code. The people next door who let lodgings were
-beneath her as much as the working people--all to be very nicely behaved
-to, need I say, and treated with the greatest politeness and civility,
-but not as if they were on the level of ‘people like ourselves.’ Lady
-Clara Vere de Vere could not have been more serenely unconscious of any
-possible equality between herself and her village surroundings than
-Ellen Harwood. Fortunately, Mr. John Ridgway was ‘in our own position in
-life.’
-
-These and many other vagaries of human sentiment I learned to see
-through Ellen’s eyes with more edification and amusement, and also with
-more confusion and abashed consciousness, than had ever occurred to me
-before. These were precisely my own sentiments, you know, towards the
-rich linendraper next door; and no doubt my aristocratical repugnance to
-acknowledge myself the neighbour of that worthy person would have seemed
-just as funny to the Duke of Bayswater as Ellen’s pretensions did to me.
-It must not be supposed however that Ellen Harwood was in a state of
-chronic resistance to the claims of her humbler neighbours. She was an
-active, bright, cheerful creature, full of interest in everything. Her
-father had been ill for years; and she had grown accustomed to his
-illness, as young people do to anything they have been acquainted with
-all their lives, and was not alarmed by it, nor oppressed, so far as we
-could tell, by the constant claims made upon her. She allowed that now
-and then he was cross--‘which of us would not be cross, shut up in one
-room for ever and ever?’ But she had not the least fear that he would
-ever die, or that she would grow tired of taking care of him. All the
-rest of her time after lessons she was in attendance upon him, excepting
-only that hour in the evening when John’s visit was paid. She always
-looked forward to that, she confessed. ‘To think of it makes everything
-smooth. He is so good. Though I say it that shouldn’t,’ she cried,
-laughing and blushing, ‘you can’t think how nice he is. And he knows so
-much; before he knew us he had nothing to do but read all the
-evenings--fancy! And I never met any one who had read so much; he knows
-simply everything. Ah!’ with a little sigh, ‘it makes such a difference
-to have him coming every night; it spirits one up for the whole day.’
-
-‘But, Ellen, I can’t think how it is that he doesn’t get tired----’
-
-‘Tired!’ She reddened up to her very hair. ‘Why should he get tired? If
-he is tired, he has my full permission to go when he likes,’ she said,
-throwing back her proud little head. ‘But nobody shall put such an idea
-into my mind. You don’t know John. If you knew John that would be quite
-enough; such a thing would never come into your mind.’
-
-‘You should hear me out before you blame me. I was going to say, tired
-of waiting, which is a very different sentiment.’
-
-Ellen laughed, and threw aside her little offence in a moment. ‘I
-thought you could not mean that. Tired of waiting! But he has not waited
-so very long. We have not been years and years like some people--No;
-only eighteen months since it was all settled. We are not rich people
-like you, to do a thing the moment we have begun to think about it: and
-everything so dear!’ she cried, half merry, half serious. ‘Oh, no; he is
-not the least tired. What could we want more than to be together in the
-evening? All the day goes pleasantly for thinking of it,’ she said, with
-a pretty blush. ‘And my mother always manages to let me have that hour.
-She does not mind how tired she is. We are as happy as the day is long,’
-Ellen said.
-
-I have always heard that a long engagement is the most miserable and
-wearing thing in the world. I have never believed it, it is true; but
-that does not matter. Here however was a witness against the popular
-belief. Ellen was not the victim of a long engagement, nor of a peevish
-invalid, though her days were spent in tendance upon one, and her youth
-gliding away in the long patience of the other. She was as merry and
-bright as if she were having everything her own way in life; and so I
-believe she really thought she was, with a mother so kind as, always,
-however tired she might be, to insist upon securing that evening hour
-for her, and a John who was better than any other John had ever been
-before him. The faithful Johnny! I wondered sometimes on his side what
-he thought.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-
-One day Ellen came to me, on her arrival, with an air of suppressed
-excitement quite unusual to her. It was not, evidently, anything to be
-alarmed about, for she looked half way between laughing and crying, but
-not melancholy. ‘May I speak to you after Chatty has had her lesson?’
-she asked. I felt sure that some new incident had happened in her
-courtship, about which I was so much more interested than about any
-other courtship I was acquainted with. So I arranged with all speed--not
-an easy thing when there are so many in a house, to be left alone, and
-free to hear whatever she might have to say. She was a little hurried
-with the lesson, almost losing patience over Chatty’s fumbling--and how
-the child did fumble over the fingering, putting the third finger where
-the first should be, and losing count altogether of the thumb, which is
-too useful a member to be left without occupation! It appeared to me
-half a dozen times that Ellen was on the eve of taking the music off the
-piano, and garotting Chatty with the arm which rested nervously on the
-back of the child’s chair. However she restrained these impulses, if she
-had them, and got through the hour _tant bien que mal_. It was even with
-an air of extreme deliberation, masking her excitement, that she stood
-by and watched her pupil putting away the music and closing the piano.
-Chatty, of course, took a longer time than usual to these little
-arrangements, and then lingered in the room. Generally she was too glad
-to hurry away.
-
-‘Go, Chatty, and see if the others are ready to go out for their walk.’
-
-‘They have gone already, mamma. They said they would not wait for me.
-They said I was always so long of getting my things on.’
-
-‘But why are you so long of getting your things on? Run away and see
-what nurse is about; or if Fräulein Stimme would like----’
-
-‘Fräulein isn’t here to-day. How funny you are, mamma, not to remember
-that it’s Saturday.’
-
-‘Go this moment!’ I cried wildly, ‘and tell nurse that you must go out
-for a walk. Do you think I will permit you to lose your walk, because
-the others think you are long of putting your things on? Nothing of the
-sort. Go at once, Chatty,’ I cried, clapping my hands, as I have a way
-of doing, to rouse them when they are not paying attention, ‘without a
-word!’
-
-To see the child’s astonished face! She seemed to stumble over herself
-in her haste to get out of the room. After the unusual force of this
-adjuration I had myself become quite excited. I waved my hand to Ellen,
-who had stood by listening, half frightened by my vehemence, pointing
-her to a chair close to me. ‘Now, tell me all about it,’ I said.
-
-‘Is it really for me that you have sent Chatty away in such a hurry? How
-good of you!’ said Ellen. And then she made a pause, as if to bring
-herself into an appropriate frame of mind before making her
-announcement. ‘I could not rest till I had told you. You have always
-taken such an interest. John has got a rise of fifty pounds a year.’
-
-‘I am very glad, very glad, Ellen.’
-
-‘I knew you would be pleased. He has been expecting it for some time
-back; but he would not say anything to me, in case I should be
-disappointed if it did not come. So I should, most likely, for I think
-he deserves a great deal more than that. But the best people never get
-so much as they deserve. Fifty pounds a year is a great rise all at
-once, don’t you think? and he got a hint that perhaps about Midsummer
-there might be a better post offered to him. Isn’t it flattering? Of
-course I know he deserves it; but sometimes those who deserve the most
-don’t get what they ought. That makes two hundred and twenty; an
-excellent income, don’t you think? He will have to pay income-tax,’
-Ellen said, with a flush of mingled pride and gratification and
-grievance which it was amusing to see.
-
-‘I don’t know that I think much of the income-tax; but it is very
-pleasant that he is so well thought of,’ I said.
-
-‘And another rise at Midsummer! It seems more than one had any right to
-expect,’ said Ellen. Her hands were clasped in her lap, her fingers
-twisting and untwisting unconsciously, her head raised, and her eyes
-fixed, without seeing anything, upon the blue sky outside. She was rapt
-in a pleasant dream of virtue rewarded and goodness triumphant. A smile
-went and came upon her face like sunshine. ‘And yet,’ she cried, ‘to
-hear people speak, you would think that it was never the right men that
-got on. Even in sermons in church you always hear that it is rather a
-disadvantage to you if you are nice and good. I wonder how people can
-talk such nonsense; why, look at John!’
-
-‘But even John has had a long time to wait for his promotion,’ said I,
-feeling myself the devil’s advocate. I had just checked myself in time
-not to say that two hundred and twenty pounds a year was not a very
-gigantic promotion; which would have been both foolish and cruel.
-
-‘Oh, no, indeed!’ cried Ellen; ‘he looks a great deal older than he is.
-He lived so much alone, you know, before he knew _us_; and that gives a
-man an old look--but he is not a bit old. How much would you give him?
-No, indeed, thirty; he is only just thirty! His birthday was last week.’
-
-‘And you, Ellen?’
-
-‘I am twenty-four--six years younger than he is. Just the right
-difference, mother says. Of course I am really a dozen years older than
-he is; I have far more sense. He has read books and books till he has
-read all his brains away; but luckily as long as I am there to take care
-of him----’ Then she made a pause, looked round the room with a half
-frightened look, then, drawing closer to me, she said in a hurried
-undertone, ‘He said something about that other subject to-day.’
-
-‘Of course he did; how could he have done otherwise?’ I said with a
-little momentary triumph.
-
-‘Please, _please_ don’t take his part, and make it all more difficult;
-for you know it is impossible, impossible, quite impossible; nobody
-could have two opinions. It was that, above all, that I wanted to tell
-you about.’
-
-‘Why is it impossible, Ellen?’ I said. ‘If you set up absurd obstacles,
-and keep up an unnatural state of things, you will be very sorry for it
-one day. He is quite right. I could not think how he consented to go on
-like this, without a word.’
-
-‘How strange that you should be so hot about it!’ said Ellen, with a
-momentary smile; but at the bottom of her heart she was nervous and
-alarmed, and did not laugh with her usual confidence. ‘He said
-something, but he was not half so stern as you are. Why should it be so
-dreadfully necessary to get married? I am quite happy as I am. I can do
-all my duties, and take care of him too; and John is quite happy----’
-
-‘There you falter,’ I said; ‘you dare not say that with the same
-intrepidity, you little deceiver. Poor John! he ought to have his life
-made comfortable and bright for him now. He ought to have his wife to be
-proud of, to come home to. So faithful as he is, never thinking of any
-other pleasure, of any amusement, but only you.’
-
-Ellen blushed with pleasure, then grew pale with wonder and alarm. ‘That
-is natural,’ she said, faltering. ‘What other amusement should he think
-of? He is most happy with me.’
-
-‘But very few men are like that,’ I said. ‘He is giving up everything
-else for you; he is shutting himself out of the world for you; and
-you--what are you giving up for him?’
-
-Ellen grew paler and paler as I spoke. ‘Giving up?’ she said aghast.
-‘I--I would give up anything. But I have got nothing, except John,’ she
-added, with an uneasy little laugh. ‘And you say he is shutting himself
-out of the world. Oh, I know what you are thinking of--the kind of world
-one reads about in books, where gentlemen have clubs, and all that sort
-of thing. But these are only for you rich people. He is not giving up
-anything that I know of.’
-
-‘What do the other young men do, Ellen? Every one has his own kind of
-world.’
-
-‘The other young men!’ she cried indignant. ‘Now I see indeed you don’t
-know anything about him (how could you? you have never even seen him),
-when you compare John to the other clerks. _John!_ Oh, yes, I suppose
-they go and amuse themselves; they go to the theatres, and all those
-wrong places. But you don’t suppose John would do that, even if I were
-not in existence! Why _John_! the fact is, you don’t know him; that is
-the whole affair.’
-
-‘I humbly confess it,’ said I; ‘but it is not my fault. I should be very
-glad to know him, if I might.’
-
-Ellen looked at me with a dazzled look of sudden happiness, as if this
-prospect of bliss was too much for her--which is always very flattering
-to the superior in such intercourse as existed between her and me. ‘Oh!
-would you?’ she said, with her heart in her mouth, and fixed her eyes
-eagerly upon me, as if with some project she did not like to unfold.
-
-‘Certainly I should.’ Then, after a pause I said, ‘Could not you bring
-him to-morrow to tea?’
-
-Ellen’s eyes sparkled. She gave a glance round upon the room, which was
-a great deal bigger and handsomer than the little parlour in Pleasant
-Place, taking in the pictures and the piano and myself in so many
-distinct perceptions, yet one look. Her face was so expressive that I
-recognized all these different details of her pleasure with the
-distinctest certainty. She wanted John to see it all, and to hear the
-piano, which was much better than her little piano at home; and also to
-behold how much at home she was, and how everybody liked her. Her eyes
-shone out upon me like two stars. And her big English ‘Oh!’ of delight
-had her whole breath in it, and left her speechless for the moment.
-‘There is nothing in the world I would like so much,’ she cried at
-last: then paused, and, with a sobered tone, added, ‘If mother can spare
-me’--a little cloud coming over her face.
-
-‘I am sure your mother will spare you. You never have any parties or
-amusements, my good little Ellen. You must tell her I will take no
-denial. You never go anywhere.’
-
-‘Where should I go?’ said Ellen. ‘I don’t want to go anywhere, there is
-always so much to do at home. But for this once--And John would so like
-to come. He would like to thank you. He says, if you will not think him
-too bold, that you have been his friend for years.’
-
-‘It is quite true,’ I said; ‘I have looked for him almost every day for
-years. But it is not much of a friendship when one can do nothing for
-the other----’
-
-‘Oh, it is beautiful!’ cried Ellen. ‘He says always we are in such
-different ranks of life. We could never expect to have any intercourse,
-except to be sure by a kind of happy accident, like me. It would not do,
-of course, visiting or anything of that sort; but just to be friends for
-life, with a kind look, such as we might give to the angels if we could
-see them. If there only could be a window in heaven, here and there!’
-and she laughed with moisture in her eyes.
-
-‘Ah!’ I said, ‘but windows in heaven would be so crowded with those that
-are nearer to us than the angels.’
-
-‘Do you think they would want that?’ said Ellen in a reverential low
-tone; ‘don’t you think they must see somehow? they would not be happy if
-they could not see. But the angels might come and sit down in an idle
-hour, when they had nothing to do. Perhaps it would grieve them, but it
-might amuse them too, to see all the crowds go by, and all the stories
-going on, like a play, and know that, whatever happened, it would all
-come right in the end. I should not wonder a bit if, afterwards, some
-one were to say, as you did about John, “I have seen you passing for
-years and years----”’
-
-I need not repeat all the rest of our talk. When two women begin this
-kind of conversation, there is no telling where it may end. The
-conclusion however was that next evening John was to be brought to make
-my acquaintance; and Ellen went away very happy, feeling, I think, that
-a new chapter was about to begin in her life. And on our side we
-indulged in a great many anticipations. The male part of the household
-assured us that, ‘depend upon it,’ it would be a mistake; that John
-would be a mere clerk, and no more; a man, perhaps, not very sure about
-his _h’s_; perhaps over-familiar, perhaps frightened; that most likely
-he would feel insulted by being asked to tea--and a great deal more, to
-all of which we, of course, paid no attention. But it was not till
-afterwards that even I realized the alarming business it must have been
-to John to walk into a room full of unknown people--dreadful critical
-children, girls and boys half grown up--and to put to the test a
-friendship of years, which had gone on without a word spoken, and now
-might turn out anything but what it had been expected to be. He was a
-little fluttered and red when Ellen, herself very nervous, brought him
-in, meeting all the expectant faces, which turned instinctively towards
-the door. Ellen herself had never come in the evening before, and the
-aspect of the house, with the lamps lighted, and the whole family
-assembled, was new to her. She came in without saying a word, and led
-her love, who for his part moved awkwardly and with shy hesitation,
-through the unknown place, threading his way among the tables and
-chairs, and the staring children, to where I sat. I have always said my
-little Chatty was the best bred of all my children. There was no one so
-much interested as she; but she kept her eyes upon her work, and never
-looked up till they were seated comfortably and beginning to look at
-their ease. John faltered forth what I felt sure was intended to be a
-very pretty speech to me, probably conned beforehand, and worthy of the
-occasion. But all that came forth was, ‘I have seen you often at the
-window.’ ‘Yes, indeed,’ I said hurriedly, ‘for years; we are old
-friends: we don’t require any introduction,’ and so got over it. I am
-afraid he said ‘ma’am.’ I see no reason why he should not say ma’am;
-people used to do it; and excepting us rude English, everybody in the
-world does it. Why should not John have used that word of respect if he
-chose? You say ma’am yourself to princesses when you speak to them, if
-you ever have the honour of speaking to them; and he thought as much of
-me, knowing no better, as if I had been a princess. He had a soft,
-refined voice. I am sure I cannot tell whether his clothes were well
-made or not--a woman does not look at a man’s clothes--but this I can
-tell you, that his face was well made. There was not a fine feature in
-it; but He who shaped them knew what He was about. Every line was
-good--truth and patience and a gentle soul shone through them. In five
-minutes he was at home, not saying much, but looking at us all with
-benevolent, tender eyes. When Chatty brought him his tea and gave him
-her small hand, he held it for a moment, saying, ‘This is Ellen’s
-pupil,’ with a look which was a benediction. ‘I should have known her
-anywhere,’ he said. ‘Ellen has a gift of description--and then, she is
-like you.’
-
-‘Ellen has a great many gifts, Mr. Ridgway--the house is sure to be a
-bright one that has her for its mistress.’
-
-He assented with a smile that lit up his face like sunshine; then shook
-his head, and said, ‘I wish I could see any prospect of that. The house
-has been built, and furnished, and set out ready for her so long. That
-is, alas! only in our thoughts. It is a great pleasure to imagine it;
-but it seems always to recede a little further--a little further. We
-have need of patience.’ Then he paused, and added, brightening a little,
-‘Fortunately we are not impatient people, either of us.’
-
-‘Forgive me,’ I said. ‘It is a great deal to take upon me--a stranger as
-I am.’
-
-‘You forget,’ he said, with a bow that would not have misbecome a
-courtier, ‘that you were so kind as to say that we were not strangers
-but old friends.’
-
-‘It is quite true. Then I will venture to speak as an old friend. I wish
-you were not so patient. I wish you were a hot-headed person, and would
-declare once for all that you would not put up with it.’
-
-He reddened, and turned to me with a look half of alarm, half, perhaps,
-of incipient, possible offence. ‘You think I am too tame, too easy--not
-that I don’t desire with my whole heart--’
-
-‘Not that you are not as true as the heavens themselves,’ I said, with
-the enthusiasm of penitence. His face relaxed and shone again, though
-once more he shook his head.
-
-‘I think--I am sure--you are quite right. If I could insist I might
-carry my point, and it would be better. But what can I say? I understand
-her, and sympathize with her, and respect her. I cannot oppose her
-roughly, and set myself before everything. Who am I, that she should
-desert what she thinks her duty for me?’
-
-‘I feel like a prophet,’ I said. ‘In this case to be selfish is the
-best.’
-
-He shook his head again. ‘She could not be selfish if she tried,’ he
-said.
-
-Did he mean the words for himself, too? They were neither of them
-selfish. I don’t want to say a word that is wicked, that may discourage
-the good--they were neither of them strong enough to be selfish.
-Sometimes there is wisdom and help in that quality which is so common. I
-will explain after what I mean. It does not sound true, I am well aware,
-but I think it is true: however in the meantime there was nothing more
-to be said. We began to talk of all sorts of things; of books, with
-which John seemed to be very well acquainted, and of pictures, which he
-knew too--as much, at least, as a man who had never been out of England,
-nor seen anything but the National Gallery, could know. He was
-acquainted with that by heart, knowing every picture and all that could
-be known about it, making me ashamed, though I had seen a great deal
-more than he had. I felt like one who knows other people’s possessions,
-but not his own. He had never been, so to speak, out of his own house;
-but he knew every picture on the walls there. And he made just as much
-use of his _h’s_ as I do myself. If he was at first a little stiff in
-his demeanour, that wore off as he talked. Ellen left him entirely to
-me. She went off into the back drawing-room with the little ones, and
-made them sing standing round the piano. There was not much light,
-except the candles on the piano, which lighted up their small fresh
-faces and her own bright countenance; and this made the prettiest
-picture at the end of the room. While he was talking to me he looked
-that way, and a smile came suddenly over his face--which drew my
-attention also. ‘Could any painter paint that?’ he said softly, looking
-at them. As the children were mine, you may believe I gazed with as much
-admiration as he. The light seemed to come from those soft faces, not to
-be thrown upon them, and the depth of the room was illuminated by the
-rose-tints, and the whiteness, and the reflected light out of their
-eyes. ‘Rembrandt, perhaps,’ I said; but he shook his head, for he did
-not know much of Rembrandt. When they finished their little store of
-songs I called to Ellen to sing us something by herself. The children
-went away, for it was their bedtime; and all the time the good-nights
-were being said she played a little soft trill of prelude, very sweet,
-and low, and subdued. There was a harmonizing influence in her that made
-everything appropriate. She did things as they ought to be done by
-instinct, without knowing it; while he, with his gaze directed to her,
-felt it all more than she did--felt the softening of that undertone of
-harmonious accompaniment, the sweet filling up of the pause, the
-background of sound upon which all the little voices babbled out like
-the trickling of brooks. When this was over Ellen did not burst into her
-song all at once, as if to show how we had kept her waiting; but went on
-for a minute or two, hushing out the former little tumult. Then she
-chose another strain, and, while we all sat silent, began to sing--the
-song I had heard her sing to him when they were alone that summer
-evening. Was there a little breath in it of consciousness, a something
-shadowing from the life to come--‘I will come again?’ We all sat very
-silent and listened: he with his face turned to her, a tender smile upon
-it--a look of admiring pleasure. He beat time with his hand, without
-knowing it, rapt in the wistful, tender music, the longing sentiment,
-the pervading consciousness of her, in all. I believe they were both as
-happy as could be while this was going on. She singing to him, and
-knowing that she pleased him, while still conscious of the pleasure of
-all the rest of us, and glad to please us too; and he so proud of her,
-drinking it all in, and knowing it to be for him, yet feeling that he
-was giving us this gratification, making an offering to us of the very
-best that was his. Why was it, then, that we all, surrounding them, a
-voiceless band of spectators, felt the hidden meaning in it, and were
-sorry for them, with a strange impulse of pity--sorry for those two
-happy people, those two inseparables who had no thought but to pass
-their lives together? I cannot tell how it was; but so it was. We all
-listened with a little thrill of sympathy, as we might have looked at
-those whose doom we knew, but who themselves had not yet found out what
-was coming upon them. And at the end, Ellen too was affected in a
-curious sympathetic way by some mysterious invisible touch of our
-sympathy for her. She came out of the half-lit room behind, with
-trembling, hurried steps, and came close to my side, and took in both
-hers the hand I held out to her. ‘How silly I am!’ she cried, with a
-little laugh. ‘I could have thought that some message was coming to say
-he must go and leave me. A kind of tremor came over me all at once.’
-‘You are tired,’ I said. And no doubt that had something to do with it;
-but why should the same chill have crept over us all?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-
-The time passed on very quietly during these years. Nothing particular
-happened; so that looking back now--now that once more things have begun
-to happen, and all the peaceful children who cost me nothing but
-pleasant cares have grown up and are setting forth, each with his and
-her more serious complications, into individual life--it seems to me
-like a long flowery plain of peace. I did not think so then, and no
-doubt from time to time questions arose that were hard to answer and
-difficulties that cost me painful thought. But now all seems to me a
-sort of heavenly monotony and calm, turning years into days. In this
-gentle domestic quiet six months went by like an afternoon; for it was,
-I think, about six months after the first meeting I have just described
-when Ellen Harwood rushed in one morning with a scared face, to tell me
-of something which had occurred and which threatened to break up in a
-moment the quiet of her life. Mr. Ridgway had come again various
-times--we had daily intercourse at the window, where, when he passed, he
-always looked up now, and where I seldom failed to see him and give him
-a friendly greeting. This intercourse, though it was so slight, was also
-so constant that it made us very fast friends; and when Ellen, as I have
-said, rushed in very white and breathless one bright spring morning,
-full of something to tell, my first feeling was alarm. Had anything
-happened to John?
-
-‘Oh, no. Nothing has happened. At least, I don’t suppose you would say
-anything had happened--that is, no harm--except to me,’ said Ellen,
-wringing her hands, ‘except to me! Oh, do you recollect that first night
-he came to see you, when you were so kind as to ask him, and I sang that
-song he is so fond of? I took fright then; I never could tell how--and
-now it looks as if it would all come true----’
-
-‘As if what would come true?’
-
-‘Somebody,’ said Ellen, sitting down abruptly in the weariness of her
-dejection, ‘somebody from the office is to go out directly to the
-Levant. Oh, Chatty, dear, you that are learning geography and
-everything, tell me where is the Levant? It is where the currants and
-raisins come from. The firm has got an establishment, and it is
-likely--oh, it is very likely: they all think that John, whom they
-trust so much--John--will be sent----’
-
-She broke off with a sob--a gasp. She was too startled, too much excited
-and frightened, to have the relief of tears.
-
-‘But that would be a very good thing, surely--it would be the very best
-thing for him. I don’t see any cause for alarm. My dear Ellen, he would
-do his work well; he would be promoted; he would be made a partner----’
-
-‘Ah!’ She drew a long breath: a gleam of wavering light passed over her
-face. ‘I said you would think it no harm,’ she said mournfully, ‘no
-harm--except to me.’
-
-‘It is on the Mediterranean Sea,’ said Chatty over her atlas, with a
-great many big round ‘Oh’s’ of admiration and wonder, ‘where it is
-always summer, always beautiful. Oh, Ellen, I wish I were you! but you
-can send us some oranges,’ the child added philosophically. Ellen gave
-her a rapid glance of mingled fondness and wrath.
-
-‘You think of nothing but oranges!’ she cried (quite unjustly, I must
-say); then putting her hands together and fixing her wistful eyes upon
-me, ‘I feel,’ she said in the same breath, ‘as if the world were coming
-to an end.’
-
-‘You mean it is just about beginning--for of course he will not go
-without you--and that is the very best thing that could happen.’
-
-‘Oh, how can you say so? it cannot happen; it is the end of everything,’
-Ellen cried, and I could not console her. She would do nothing but wring
-her hands and repeat her plaint, ‘It is the end of everything.’ Poor
-girl, apart from John her life was dreary enough, though she had never
-felt it dreary. Music lessons in the morning, and after that continual
-attendance upon an exacting fiery invalid. The only break in her round
-of duty had been her evening hours, her little walk and talk with John.
-No wonder that the thought of John’s departure filled her with a terror
-for which she could scarcely find words. And she never took into account
-the other side of the question, the solution which seemed to me so
-certain, so inevitable. She knew better--that, at least, whatever other
-way might be found out of it, could not be.
-
-Next day in the evening, when he was going home, John himself paused as
-he was passing the window, and looked up with a sort of appeal. I
-answered by beckoning to him to come in, and he obeyed the summons very
-rapidly and eagerly. The spring days had drawn out, and it was now quite
-light when John came home. He came in and sat down beside me, in the
-large square projecting window, which was my favourite place. There was
-a mingled air of eagerness and weariness about him, as if, though
-excited by the new prospect which was opening before him, he was yet
-alarmed by the obstacles in his way, and reluctant, as Ellen herself
-was, to disturb the present peaceful conditions of their life. ‘I do not
-believe,’ he said, ‘that they will ever consent. I don’t know how we
-are to struggle against them. People of their age have so much stronger
-wills than we have. They stand to what they want, and they have it,
-reason or no reason.’
-
-‘That is because you give in; you do not stand to what you want,’ I
-said. He looked away beyond me into the evening light, over the heads of
-all the people who were going and coming so briskly in the road, and
-sighed.
-
-‘They have such strong wills. What can you say when people tell you that
-it is impossible, that they never can consent? Ellen and I have never
-said that, or even thought it. When we are opposed we try to think how
-we can compromise, how we can do with as little as possible of what we
-want, so as to satisfy the others. I always thought that was the good
-way, the nobler way,’ he said with a flush coming over his pale face.
-‘Have we been making a mistake?’
-
-‘I fear so--I think so; yes, I am sure,’ I cried. ‘Yours would be the
-nobler way if--if there was nobody but yourself to think of.’
-
-He looked at me with a wondering air. ‘I think I must have expressed
-myself wrongly,’ he said; ‘it was not ourselves at all that we were
-thinking of.’
-
-‘I know; but that is just what I object to,’ I said. ‘You sacrifice
-yourselves, and you encourage the other people to be cruelly selfish,
-perhaps without knowing it. All that is virtue in you is evil in them.
-Don’t you see that to accept this giving up of your life is barbarous,
-it is wicked, it is demoralizing to the others. Just in so much as
-people think well of you they will be forced to think badly of them.’
-
-He was a little startled by this view, which, I confess, I struck out on
-the spur of the moment, not really seeing how much sense there was in
-it. I justified myself afterwards to myself, and became rather proud of
-my argument; but for a woman to argue, much less suggest, that
-self-sacrifice is not the chief of all virtues, is terrible. I was half
-frightened and disgusted with myself, as one is when one has brought
-forward in the heat of partisanship a thoroughly bad, yet, for the
-moment, effective argument. But he was staggered, and I felt the thrill
-of success which stirs one to higher effort.
-
-‘I never thought of that; perhaps there is some truth in it,’ he said.
-Then, after a pause, ‘I wonder if you, who have been so good to us all,
-who are fond of Ellen--I am sure you are fond of Ellen--and the children
-like her.’
-
-‘Very fond of Ellen, and the children all adore her,’ I said with
-perhaps unnecessary emphasis.
-
-‘To me that seems natural,’ he said, brightening. ‘But yet what right
-have we to ask you to do more? You have been as kind as it is possible
-to be.’
-
-‘You want me to do something more? I will do whatever I can--only speak
-out.’
-
-‘It was this,’ he said, ‘if you would ask--you who are not an interested
-party--if you would find out what our prospects are. Ellen does not want
-to escape from her duty. There is nothing we are not capable of
-sacrificing rather than that she should shrink from her duty. I need not
-tell you how serious it is. If I don’t take this--in case it is offered
-to me--I may never get another chance again; but, if I must part from
-Ellen, I cannot accept it. I cannot; it would be like parting one’s soul
-from one’s body. But I have no confidence in myself any more than Ellen
-has. They have such strong wills. If they say it must not and cannot
-be--what can I reply? I know myself. I will yield, and so will Ellen.
-How can one look them in the face and say, ‘Though you are her father
-and mother, we prefer our own comfort to yours?’
-
-‘Do not say another word. I will do it,’ I said, half exasperated, half
-sympathetic--oh, yes! more than half sympathetic. They were fools; but I
-understood it, and was not surprised, though I was exasperated. ‘I will
-go and beard the lion in his den,’ I said. ‘Perhaps they will not let me
-see the lion, only his attendant. But remember this,’ I said
-vindictively, ‘if Ellen and you allow yourselves to be conquered, if you
-are weak and throw away all your hopes, never come to me again. I have
-made up my mind. You must give up me as well as all the rest. I will not
-put up with such weakness.’ John stared at me with alarm in his eyes; he
-was not quite comfortable even when I laughed at my own little bit of
-tragedy. He shook his head with a melancholy perplexity.
-
-‘I don’t see clearly,’ he said; ‘I don’t seem able to judge. To give in
-is folly; and yet, when you think--supposing it were duty--suppose her
-father were to die when she was far away from him?’
-
-‘If we were to consider all these possibilities there never would be a
-marriage made--never an independent move in life,’ I cried. ‘Parents die
-far from their children, and children, alas! from their parents. How
-could it be otherwise? But God is near to us all. If we were each to
-think ourselves so all-important, life would stand still; there would be
-no more advance, no progress; everything would come to an end.’
-
-John shook his head; partly it was in agreement with what I said, partly
-in doubt for himself. ‘How am I to stand up to them and say, “Never mind
-what you want--_we_ want something else?” There’s the rub,’ he said,
-still slowly shaking his head. He had no confidence in his own power of
-self-assertion. He had never, I believe, been able to answer
-satisfactorily the question, why should he have any special thing which
-some one else wished for? It was as natural to him to efface himself, to
-resign his claims, as it was to other men to assert them. And yet in
-this point he could not give up--he could not give Ellen up, come what
-might; but neither could he demand that he and she should be permitted
-to live their own life.
-
-After long deliberation I decided that it would not be expedient to rush
-across to Pleasant Place at once and get it over while John and Ellen
-were taking their usual evening walk, which was my first impulse; but to
-wait till the morning, when all would be quiet, and the invalid and his
-wife in their best humour. It was not a pleasant errand; the more I
-thought of it, the less I liked it. If they were people who could demand
-such a sacrifice from their daughter, was it likely that they would be
-so far moved by my arguments as to change their nature? I went through
-the little smoky garden plot, where the familiar London ‘blacks’ lay
-thick on the grass, on the sweetest May morning, when it was a pleasure
-to be alive. The windows were open, the little white muslin curtains
-fluttering. Up-stairs I heard a gruff voice asking for something, and
-another, with a querulous tone in it, giving a reply. My heart began to
-beat louder at the sound. I tried to keep up my courage by all the
-arguments I could think of. Nevertheless, my heart sank down into my
-very shoes when the little maid, with her apron folded over her arm, and
-as grimy as ever, opened to me--with a curtsey and a ‘La!’ of delighted
-surprise--this door of fate.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-
-I had a long time to wait before Mrs. Harwood came. The morning sun was
-shining into the room, making everything more dingy. No doubt it had
-been dusted that morning as well as the little maid could dust it; but
-nothing looked pure or fresh in the brightness of the light, which was
-full of motes, and seemed to find out dust in every corner. The dingy
-cover on the table, the old-fashioned Books of Beauty, the black
-horsehair chairs, stood out remorselessly shabby in the sunshine. I
-wondered what kind of house Ellen would have when she furnished one for
-herself. Would John and she show any ‘taste’ between them--would they
-‘pick up’ pretty things at sales and old furniture shops, or would they
-buy a drawing-room suite for twenty-five pounds, such as the cheap
-upholsterers offer to the unwary? This question amused me while I
-waited, and I was sorry to think that the new household was to be
-planted in the Levant, and we should not see how it settled itself.
-There was a good deal of commotion going on overhead, but I did not pay
-any attention to it. I pleased myself arranging a little home for the
-new pair--making it pretty for them. Of her own self Ellen would never,
-I felt sure, choose the drawing-room suite in walnut and blue rep--not
-now, at least, after she had been so much with us. As for John, he would
-probably think any curtain tolerable so long as she sat under its
-shadow. I had been somewhat afraid of confronting the mother, and
-possibly the father; but these thoughts put my panic out of my head.
-These horsehair chairs! was there ever such an invention of the evil
-one? Ellen could not like them; it was impossible. When I had come this
-length my attention was suddenly attracted by the sounds up-stairs; for
-there came upon the floor over my head the sound of a foot stamped
-violently in apparent fury. There were voices too; but I could not make
-out what they said. As to this sound however it was easy enough to make
-out what it meant: nothing could be more suggestive. I trembled and
-listened, my thoughts taking an entirely new direction; a stamp of
-anger, of rage, and partially of impotence too. Then there was a woman’s
-voice rising loud in remonstrance. The man seemed to exclaim and
-denounce violently; the woman protested, growing also louder and louder.
-I listened with all my might. It was not eavesdropping; for she, at
-least, knew that I was there; but, listen as I might, I could not make
-out what they said. After a while there was silence, and I heard Mrs.
-Harwood’s step coming down the stairs. She paused to do something,
-perhaps to her cap or her eyes, before she opened the door. She was in a
-flutter of agitation, the flowers in her black cap quivering through all
-their wires, her eyes moist, though looking at me with a suspicious
-gaze. She was very much on her guard, very well aware of my motive,
-determined to give me no encouragement. All this I read in her vigilant
-eyes.
-
-‘Mrs. Harwood, I came to speak to you--I promised to come and speak to
-you--about Mr. Ridgway, who is a great friend of mine, as perhaps you
-know.’
-
-The poor woman was in great agitation and trouble; but this only
-quickened her wits. ‘I see John Ridgway every day of my life,’ she said,
-not without a little dignity. ‘He might say whatever he pleased to me
-without asking anybody to speak for him.’
-
-‘Won’t you give your consent to this marriage?’ I asked. It seemed
-wisest to plunge into it at once. ‘It is my own anxiety that makes me
-speak. I have always been anxious about it, almost before I knew them.’
-
-‘There are other things in the world besides marriages,’ she said. ‘In
-this house we have a great deal to think of. My husband--no doubt you
-heard his voice just now--he is a great sufferer. For years he has been
-confined to that little room up-stairs. That is not a very cheerful
-life.’
-
-Here she made a pause, which I did not attempt to interrupt; for she had
-disarmed me by this half-appeal to my sympathy. Then suddenly, with her
-voice a little shaken and unsteady, she burst forth: ‘The only company
-he has is Ellen. What can I do to amuse him--to lead his thoughts off
-himself? I have as much need of comfort as he has. The only bright thing
-in the house is Ellen. What would become of us if we were left only the
-two together all these long days? They are long enough as it is. He has
-not a very good temper, and he is weary with trouble--who wouldn’t be
-in his case? John Ridgway is a young man with all the world before him.
-Why can’t he wait? Why should he want to take our only comfort away from
-us?’
-
-Her voice grew shrill and broken; she began to cry. Poor soul! I believe
-she had been arguing with her husband on the other side; but it was a
-little comfort to her to pour out her own grievances, her alarm and
-distress, to me. I was silenced. How true it had been what John Ridgway
-said: How could he, so gentle a man, assert himself in the face of this,
-and claim Ellen as of chief importance to him? Had not they a prior
-claim?--was not her duty first to her father and mother? I was put to
-silence myself. I did not know what to say.
-
-‘The only thing is,’ I said timidly at last, ‘that I should think it
-would be a comfort to you to feel that Ellen was settled, that she had a
-home of her own, and a good husband who would take care of her when--She
-ought to outlive us all,’ I added, not knowing how to put it. ‘And if it
-were to be always as you say,’ I went on, getting a little courage,
-‘there would be no marriages, no new homes. We have all had fathers and
-mothers who had claims upon us. What can it be but a heartbreak to bring
-up a girl for twenty years and more, and think everything of her, and
-then see her go away and give her whole heart to some one else, and
-leave us with a smile on her face?’ The idea carried me away--it filled
-my own heart with a sort of sweet bitterness; for had not my own girl
-just passed that age and crisis? ‘Oh! I understand you; I feel with you;
-I am not unsympathetic. But when one thinks--they must live longer than
-we; they must have children too, and love as we have loved. You would
-not like, neither you nor I, if no one cared--if our girls were left out
-when all the others are loved and courted. You like this good John to be
-fond of her--to ask you for her. You would not have been pleased if
-Ellen had just lived on and on here, your daughter and nothing more.’
-
-This argument had some weight upon her. She felt the truth of what I
-said. However hard the after consequences may be, we still must have our
-‘bairn respectit like the lave.’ But on this point Mrs. Harwood
-maintained her position on a height of superiority which few ordinary
-mortals, even when the mothers of attractive girls, can attain. ‘I have
-never made any objection,’ she said, ‘to his coming in the evening.
-Sometimes it is rather inconvenient; but I do not oppose his being here
-every night.’
-
-‘And you expect him to be content with this all his life?’
-
-‘It would be better to say all my life,’ she replied severely; ‘no, not
-even that. As for me, it does not matter much. I am not one to put
-myself in anybody’s way; but all her father’s life--which can’t be very
-long now,’ she added, with a sudden gush of tears. They were so near the
-surface that they flowed at the slightest touch, and besides, they were
-a great help to her argument. ‘I don’t think it is too much,’ she cried,
-‘that she should see her poor father out first. She has been the only
-one that has cheered him up. She is company to him, which I am not. All
-his troubles are mine, you see. I feel it when his rheumatism is bad;
-but Ellen is outside: she can talk and be bright. What should I do
-without her! What should I do without her! I should be nothing better
-than a slave! I am afraid to think of it; and her father--her poor
-father--it would break his heart; it would kill him. I know that it
-would kill him,’ she said.
-
-Here I must acknowledge that I was very wicked. I could not but think in
-my heart that it would not be at all a bad thing if Ellen’s marriage did
-kill this unseen father of hers who had tired their patience so long,
-and who stamped his foot with rage at the idea that the poor girl might
-get out of his clutches. He was an old man, and he was a great sufferer.
-Why should he be so anxious to live? And if a sacrifice was necessary,
-old Mr. Harwood might just as well be the one to make it as those two
-good young people from whom he was willing to take all the pleasure of
-their lives. But this of course was a sentiment to which I dared not
-give utterance. We stood and looked at each other while these thoughts
-were going through my mind. She felt that she had produced an
-impression, and was too wise to say anything more to diminish it--while
-I, for my part, was silenced, and did not know what to say.
-
-‘Then they must give in again,’ I said at last. ‘They must part; and if
-she has to spend the rest of her life in giving music lessons, and he to
-go away, to lose heart and forget her, and be married by any one who
-will have him in his despair and loneliness--I hope you will think that
-a satisfactory conclusion--but I do not. I do not!’
-
-Mrs. Harwood trembled as she looked at me. Was I hard upon her? She
-shrank aside as if I had given her a blow. ‘It is not me that will part
-them,’ she said. ‘I have never objected. Often it is very
-inconvenient--you would not like it yourself if every evening, good or
-bad, there was a strange man in your house. But I never made any
-objection. He is welcome to come as long as he likes. It is not me that
-says a word----’
-
-‘Do you want him to throw up his appointment?’ I cried, ‘his means of
-life.’
-
-She looked at me with her face set. I might have noticed, had I chosen,
-that all the flowers in her cap were shaking and quivering in the shadow
-cast upon the further wall by the sunshine, but did not care to remark,
-being angry, this sign of emotion. ‘If he is so fond of Ellen, he will
-not mind giving up a chance,’ she said; ‘if some one must give in, why
-should it be Harwood and me?’
-
-After this I left Pleasant Place hurriedly, with a great deal of
-indignation in my mind. Even then I was not quite sure of my right to be
-indignant; but I was so. ‘If some one must give in, why should it be
-Harwood and me?’ I said to myself that John had known what he would
-encounter, that he had been right in distrusting himself; but he had not
-been right in trusting me. I had made no stand against the other side.
-When you come to haggle about it, and to be uncertain which should give
-in, how painful the complications of life become! To be perfect,
-renunciation must be without a word; it must be done as if it were the
-most natural thing in the world. The moment it is discussed and shifted
-from one to another, it becomes vulgar, like most things in this
-universe. This was what I said to myself as I came out into the fresh
-air and sunshine, out of the little stuffy house. I began to hate it
-with its dingy carpets and curtains, its horsehair chairs, that shabby,
-shabby little parlour--how could anybody think of it as home? I can
-understand a bright little kitchen, with white hearth and floor, with
-the firelight shining in all the pans and dishes. But this dusty place
-with its antimacassars! These thoughts were in my mind when, turning the
-corner, I met Ellen full in the face, and felt like a traitor, as if I
-had been speaking ill of her. She looked at me, too, with some surprise.
-To see me there, coming out of Pleasant Place, startled her. She did not
-ask me, Where have you been? but her eyes did, with a bewildered gleam.
-
-‘Yes; I have been to see your mother,’ I said; ‘you are quite right,
-Ellen. And why? Because I am so much interested; and I wanted to see
-what mind she was in about your marriage.’
-
-‘My--marriage! there never was any question of that,’ she said quickly,
-with a sudden flush.
-
-‘You are just as bad as the others,’ said I, moved by this new
-contradiction. ‘What! after taking that poor young man’s devotion for so
-long, you will let him go away--go alone, break off everything.’
-
-Ellen had grown pale as suddenly as she had blushed. ‘Is that
-necessary?’ she said, alarmed. ‘Break off everything? I never thought of
-that. But, indeed, I think you are making a mistake. If he goes, we
-shall have to part, but only--only for a time.’
-
-‘How can you tell,’ I cried, being highly excited, ‘how long he may be
-there? He may linger out his life there, always thinking about you, and
-longing for you--unless he gets weary and disgusted, and asks himself
-what is the use, at the last. Such things have been; and you on your
-side will linger here, running out and in to your lessons with no longer
-any heart for them; unable to keep yourself from thinking that everybody
-is cruel, that life itself is cruel--all because you have not the
-courage, the spirit----’
-
-She put her hand on mine and squeezed it suddenly, so that she hurt me.
-‘Don’t!’ she cried; ‘you don’t know; there is nothing, not a word to be
-said. It is you who are cruel--you who are so kind; so much as to speak
-of it, when it cannot be! It cannot be--that is the whole matter. It is
-out of the question. Supposing even that I get to think life cruel, and
-supposing he should get weary and disgusted. Oh! it was you that said
-it, you that are so kind. Supposing all that, yet it is impossible; it
-cannot be; there is nothing more to be said.’
-
-‘You will see him go away calmly, notwithstanding all?’
-
-‘Calmly,’ she said, with a little laugh, ‘calmly--yes, I suppose that is
-the word. I will see him go calmly. I shall not make any fuss if that is
-what you mean.’
-
-‘Ellen, I do not understand. I never heard you speak like this before.’
-
-‘You never saw me like this before,’ she said with a gasp. She was
-breathless with a restrained excitement which looked like despair. But
-when I spoke further, when I would have discussed the matter, she put up
-her hand and stopped me. There was something in her face, in its fixed
-expression, which was like the countenance with which her mother had
-replied to me. It was a startling thought to me that Ellen’s soft fresh
-face, with its pretty bloom, could ever be like that other face
-surmounted by the black cap and crown of shabby flowers. She turned and
-walked with me along the road to my own door, but nothing further was
-said. We went along side by side silent till we reached my house, when
-she put out her hand and touched mine suddenly, and said that she was in
-a hurry and must run away. I went in more disturbed than I can say. She
-had always been so ready to yield, so cheerful, so soft, independent
-indeed, but never harsh in her independence. What did this change mean?
-I felt as if some one to whom I had turned in kindness had met me with a
-blow. But by and by, when I thought better of it, I began to understand
-Ellen. Had not I said to myself, a few minutes before, that
-self-renunciation, when it had to be, must be done silently without a
-word? better perhaps that it should be done angrily than with
-self-demonstration, self-assertion. Ellen had comprehended this; she had
-perceived that it must not be asked or speculated upon, which was to
-yield. She had chosen her part, and she would not have it discussed or
-even remarked. I sat in my window pondering while the bright afternoon
-went by, looking out upon the distant depths of the blue spring
-atmosphere, just touched by haze, as the air, however bright, always is
-in London, seeing the people go by in an endless stream without noticing
-them, without thinking of them. How rare it is in human affairs that
-there is not some one who must give up to the others, some one who must
-sacrifice himself or be sacrificed! And the one to whom this lot falls
-is always the one who will do it; that is the rule so far as my
-observation goes. There are some whom nature moves that way, who cannot
-stand upon their rights, who are touched by the claims of others and can
-make no resistance on their own account. The tools are to him that can
-handle them, as our philosopher says; and likewise the sacrifices of
-life to him who will bear them. Refuse them, that is the only way; but
-if it is not in your nature to refuse them, what can you do? Alas! for
-sacrifice is seldom blessed. I am saying something which will sound
-almost impious to many. Human life is built upon it, and social order;
-yet personally in itself it is seldom blessed; it debases those who
-accept it; it harms even those who, without wilfully accepting it, have
-a dim perception that something is being done for them which has no
-right to be done. It may, perhaps--I cannot tell--bear fruit of
-happiness in the hearts of those who practise it. I cannot tell.
-Sacrifices are as often mistaken as other things. Their divineness does
-not make them wise. Sometimes, looking back, even the celebrant will
-perceive that his offering had better not have been made.
-
-All this was going sadly through my mind when I perceived that some one
-was passing slowly, endeavouring to attract my attention. By this time
-it was getting towards evening--and as soon as I was fully roused I saw
-that it was John Ridgway. If I could have avoided him I should have done
-so, but now it was not possible; I made him a sign to come up-stairs. He
-came into the drawing-room slowly, with none of the eagerness that there
-had been in his air on the previous day, and it may easily be believed
-that on my side I was not eager to see him to tell him my story. He came
-and sat down by me, swinging his stick in his usual absent way, and for
-a minute neither of us spoke.
-
-‘You do not ask me if I have any news for you; you have seen Ellen!’
-
-‘No; it is only because I have news on my side. I am not going after
-all.’
-
-‘You are not going!’
-
-‘You are disappointed,’ he said, looking at me with a face which was
-full of interest and sympathy. These are the only words I can use. The
-disappointment was his, not mine; yet he was more sympathetic with my
-feeling about it than impressed by his own. ‘As for me, I don’t seem to
-care. It is better in one way, if it is worse in another. It stops any
-rise in life; but what do I care for a rise in life? they would never
-have let me take Ellen. I knew that even before I saw it in your eyes.’
-
-‘Ellen ought to judge for herself,’ I said, ‘and you ought to judge for
-yourself; you are of full age; you are not boy and girl. No parents have
-a right to separate you now. And that old man may go on just the same
-for the next dozen years.’
-
-‘Did you see him?’ John asked. He had a languid, wearied look, scarcely
-lifting his eyes.
-
-‘I saw only her; but I know perfectly well what kind of man he is. He
-may live for the next twenty years. There is no end to these tyrannical,
-ill-tempered people; they live for ever. You ought to judge for
-yourselves. If they had their daughter settled near, coming to them from
-her own pleasant little home, they would be a great deal happier. You
-may believe me or not, but I know it. Her visits would be events; they
-would be proud of her, and tell everybody about her family, and what a
-good husband she had got, and how he gave her everything she could
-desire.’
-
-‘Please God,’ said John, devoutly; his countenance had brightened in
-spite of himself. But then he shook his head. ‘If we had but got as far
-as that,’ he said.
-
-‘You ought to take it into your own hands,’ cried I in all the fervour
-of a revolutionary. ‘If you sacrifice your happiness to them, it will
-not do them any good; it will rather do them harm. Are you going now to
-tell your news?’
-
-He had got up on his feet, and stood vaguely hovering over me with a
-faint smile upon his face. ‘She will be pleased,’ he said; ‘no
-advancement, but no separation. I have not much ambition; I think I am
-happy too.’
-
-‘Then, if you are all pleased,’ I cried, with annoyance which I could
-not restrain, ‘why did you send me on such an errand? I am the only one
-that seems to be impatient of the present state of affairs, and it is
-none of my business. Another time you need not say anything about it to
-me.’
-
-‘There will never be a time when we shall not be grateful to you,’ said
-John; but even his mild look of appealing reproach did not move me. It
-is hard to interest yourself in people and find after all that they like
-their own way best.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI
-
-
-He was quite right in thinking Ellen would be pleased. And yet, after it
-was all over, she was a little wounded and disappointed, which was very
-natural. She did not want him to go away, but she wanted him to get the
-advancement all the same. This was foolish, but still it was natural,
-and just what a woman would feel. She took great pains to explain to us
-that it was not hesitation about John, nor even any hesitation on the
-part of John in going--for Ellen had a quick sense of what was desirable
-and heroic, and would not have wished her lover to appear indifferent
-about his own advancement, even though she was very thankful and happy
-that in reality he was so. The reason of the failure was that the firm
-had sent out a nephew, who was in the office, and had a prior claim. ‘Of
-course he had the first chance,’ Ellen said, with a countenance of great
-seriousness; ‘what would be the good of being a relation if he did not
-have the first chance?’ And I assented with all the gravity in the
-world. But she was disappointed, though she was so glad. There ought not
-to have been any one in the world who had the preference over John! She
-carried herself with great dignity for some time afterwards, and with
-the air of a person superior to the foolish and partial judgments of the
-world; and yet in her heart how thankful she was! from what an abyss of
-blank loneliness and weary exertion was her life saved! For now that I
-knew it a little better I could see how little that was happy was in her
-home. Her mother insisted that she should have that hour’s leisure in
-the evening. That was all that any one thought of doing for her. It was
-enough to keep her happy, to keep her hopeful. But without that, how
-long would Ellen’s brave spirit have kept up? Perhaps had she never
-known John, and that life of infinite tender communion, her natural
-happy temperament would have struggled on for a long time against all
-the depressing effects of circumstances, unaided. But to lose is worse
-than never to have had. If it is
-
- Better to have loved and lost,
- Than never to have loved at all,
-
-yet it is at the same time harder to lose that bloom of existence out of
-your lot, than to have struggled on by mere help of nature without it.
-She had been so happy--making so little go such a long way!--that the
-loss of her little happiness would have been appalling to her. And yet
-she was dissatisfied that this heartbreak did not come. She had strung
-herself up to it. It would have been advancement, progress, all that a
-woman desires for those belonging to her, for John. Sacrificing him for
-the others, she was half angry not to have it in her power to sacrifice
-herself to his ‘rise in life.’ I think I understood her, though we never
-talked on the subject. She was dissatisfied, although she was relieved.
-We have all known these mingled feelings.
-
-This happened at the beginning of summer; but all its agitations were
-over before the long sweet days and endless twilights of the happy
-season had fully expanded upon us. It seems to me as I grow older that a
-great deal of the comfort of our lives depends upon summer--upon the
-weather, let us say, taking it in its most prosaic form. Sometimes
-indeed to the sorrowful the brightness is oppressive; but to all the
-masses of ordinary mortals who are neither glad nor sad, it is a
-wonderful matter not to be chilled to the bone; to be able to do their
-work without thinking of a fire; without having a sensation of cold
-always in their lives never to be got rid of. Ellen and her lover
-enjoyed that summer as people who have been under sentence of banishment
-enjoy their native country and their home.
-
-You may think there is not much beauty in a London suburb to tempt any
-one: and there is not for those who can retire to the beautiful fresh
-country when they will, and surround themselves with waving woods and
-green lawns, or taste the freshness of the mountains or the saltness of
-the sea. We, who go away every year in July, pined and longed for the
-moment of our removal; and my neighbour in the great house which shut
-out the air from Pleasant Place, panted in her great garden (which she
-was proud to think was almost unparalleled for growth and shade in
-London), and declared herself incapable of breathing any longer in such
-a close and shut up locality. But the dwellers in Pleasant Place were
-less exacting. They thought the long suburban road very pleasant. Where
-it streamed off into little dusty houses covered with brown ivy and
-dismal trellis work, and where every unfortunate flower was thick with
-dust, they gazed with a touch of envy at the ‘gardens,’ and felt it to
-be rural. When my pair of lovers went out for their walk they had not
-time to go further than to the ‘Green Man,’ a little tavern upon the
-roadside, where one big old elm tree, which had braved the dust and the
-frost for more years than any one could recollect, stood out at a corner
-at the junction of two roads, with a bench round it, where the passing
-carters and cabmen drank their beer, and a trough for the horses, which
-made it look ‘quite in the country’ to all the inhabitants of our
-district. Generally they got as far as that, passing the dusty cottages
-and the little terrace of new houses. A great and prolonged and most
-entertaining controversy went on between them as they walked, as to the
-kind of house in which they should eventually settle down. Ellen, who
-was not without a bit of romance in her, of the only kind practicable
-with her upbringing, entertained a longing for one of the dusty little
-cottages. She thought, like all inexperienced persons, that in her hands
-it would not be dusty. She would find means of keeping the ivy green.
-She would see that the flowers grew sweet and clean, and set blacks and
-dust alike at defiance. John, for his part, whose lodging was in one of
-those little houses, preferred the new terrace. It was very new--very
-like a row of ginger-bread houses--but it was very clean, and for the
-moment bright, not as yet penetrated by the dust. Sometimes I was made
-the confidante of these interminable, always renewed, always delightful
-discussions. ‘They are not dusty yet,’ Ellen would say, ‘but how long
-will it be before they are dusty? whereas with the villas’ (they had a
-great variety of names--Montpellier Villas, Funchal Villas, Mentone
-Mansions--for the district was supposed to be very mild) ‘one knows what
-one has to expect; and if one could not keep the dust and the blacks out
-with the help of brushes and dusters, what would be the good of one? I
-should sow mignonette and Virginia stock,’ she cried with a firm faith;
-‘low-growing flowers would be sure to thrive. It is only roses (poor
-roses!) and tall plants that come to harm.’ John, for his part, dwelt
-much upon the fact that in the little front parlours of the terrace
-houses there were shelves for books fitted into a recess. This weighed
-quite as much with him as the cleanness of the new places. ‘The villas
-are too dingy for her,’ he said, looking admiringly at her fresh face.
-‘She could never endure the little gray, grimy rooms.’ That was his
-romance, to think that everything should be shining and bright about
-her. He was unconscious of the dinginess of the parlour in Ellen’s home.
-It was all irradiated with her presence to him. These discussions
-however all ended in a sigh and a laugh from Ellen herself. ‘It is all
-very fine talking,’ she would say.
-
-And so the summer went on. Alas! and other summers after it. My eldest
-girl married. My boys went out into the world. Many changes came upon
-our house. The children began to think it a very undesirable locality.
-Even Chatty, always the sweetest, sighed for South Kensington, if not
-for a house in the country and a month in London in the season, which
-was what the other girls wished for. This common suburban road, far from
-fashion, far from society--what but their mother’s inveterate
-old-fashionedness and indifference to appearances could have kept them
-there so long? The great house opposite with the garden had ceased to
-be. The high wall was gone from Pleasant Place, and instead of it stood
-a fresh row of little villakins like the terrace which had once been
-John Ridgway’s admiration. Alas! Ellen’s forebodings had been fully
-realized, and the terrace was as dingy as Montpellier Villas by this
-time. The whole neighbourhood was changing. Half the good houses in the
-road--the houses, so to speak, of the aristocracy, which to name was to
-command respect from all the neighbourhood--had been built out and
-adorned with large fronts of plate glass and made into shops. Omnibuses
-now rolled along the dusty way. The station where they used to stop had
-been pushed out beyond the ‘Green Man,’ which once we had felt to be
-‘quite in the country.’ Everything was changing; but my pair of lovers
-did not change. Ellen got other pupils instead of Chatty and her
-contemporaries who were growing up and beyond her skill, and came out at
-ten o’clock every morning with as fresh a face as ever, and her little
-roll of music always in her hand. And every evening, though now he was
-set down at his lodgings from the omnibus, and no longer passed my
-window on his way home, John made his pilgrimage of love to Pleasant
-Place. She kept her youth--the sweet complexion, the dew in her eyes,
-and the bloom upon her cheek--in a way I could not understand. The long
-waiting did not seem to try her. She had always his evening visit to
-look for, and her days were full of occupation. But John, who had
-naturally a worn look, did not bear the probation so well as Ellen. He
-grew bald; a general rustiness came over him. He had looked older than
-he was to begin with: his light locks, his colourless countenance, faded
-into a look of age. He was very patient--almost more patient than Ellen,
-who, being of a more vivacious temper, had occasioned little outbursts
-of petulant despair, of which she was greatly ashamed afterwards; but at
-the same time this prolonged and hopeless waiting had more effect upon
-him than upon her. Sometimes he would come to see me by himself for the
-mere pleasure, it seemed to me, though we rarely spoke on the subject,
-of being understood.
-
-‘Is this to go on for ever?’ I said. ‘Is it never to come to an end?’
-
-‘It looks like it,’ said John, somewhat drearily. ‘We always talk about
-our little house. I have got three rises since then. I doubt if I shall
-ever have any more; but we don’t seem a bit nearer----’ and he ended
-with a sigh--not of impatience, like those quick sighs mixed up with
-indignant, abrupt little laughs in which Ellen often gave vent to her
-feelings--but of weariness and despondency much more hard to bear.
-
-‘And the father,’ I said, ‘seems not a day nearer the end of his
-trouble. Poor man, I don’t wish him any harm.’
-
-This, I fear, was a hypocritical speech, for in my heart I should not
-have been at all sorry to hear that his ‘trouble’ was coming to an end.
-
-Then for the first time a gleam of humour lighted in John’s eye. ‘I am
-beginning to suspect that he is--better,’ he said; ‘stronger at least. I
-am pretty sure he has no thought of coming to an end.’
-
-‘All the better,’ I said; ‘if he gets well, Ellen will be free.’
-
-‘He will never get well,’ said John, falling back into his dejection,
-‘and he will never die.’
-
-‘Then it will never come to anything. Can you consent to that?’ I said.
-
-He made me no reply. He shook his head; whether in dismal acceptance of
-the situation, whether in protest against it, I cannot tell. This
-interview filled me with dismay. I spent hours pondering whether, and
-how, I could interfere. My interference had not been of much use before.
-And my children began to laugh when this lingering, commonplace little
-romance was talked of. ‘My mother’s lovers,’ the boys called them--‘My
-mother’s turtle-doves.’
-
-The time had almost run on to the length of Jacob’s wooing when one day
-Ellen came to me, not running in, eager and troubled with her secret as
-of old, but so much more quietly than usual, with such a still and fixed
-composure about her, that I knew something serious had happened. I sent
-away as quickly as I could the other people who were in the room, for I
-need not say that to find me alone was all but an impossibility. I gave
-Chatty, now a fine, tall girl of twenty, a look, which was enough for
-her; she always understood better than any one. And when at last we were
-free I turned to my visitor anxiously. ‘What is it?’ I said. It did not
-excite her so much as it did me.
-
-She gave a little abstracted smile. ‘You always see through me,’ she
-said. ‘I thought there was no meaning in my face. It has come at last.
-He is really going this time, directly, to the Levant. Oh, what a little
-thing Chatty was when I asked her to look in the atlas for the Levant;
-and now she is going to be married! What will you do,’ she asked
-abruptly, stopping short to look at me, ‘when they are all married and
-you are left alone?’
-
-I had asked myself this question sometimes, and it was not one I liked.
-‘“Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,”’ I said; ‘the two little
-ones of all have not so much as thought of marrying yet.’
-
-Ellen answered me with a sigh, a quickly drawn impatient breath. ‘He is
-to sail in a fortnight,’ she said. ‘Things have gone wrong with the
-nephew. I knew he never could be so good as John; and now John must go
-in a hurry to set things right. What a good thing that it is all in a
-hurry! We shall not have time to think.’
-
-‘You must go with him--you must go with him, Ellen!’ I cried.
-
-She turned upon me almost with severity in her tone. ‘I thought you knew
-better. I--go with him! Look here,’ she cried very hurriedly, ‘don’t
-think I don’t face the full consequences--the whole matter. He is tired,
-tired to death. He will be glad to go--and after--after! If he should
-find some one else there, I shall never be the one to blame him.’
-
-‘Ellen! you ought to ask his pardon on your knees--he find some one
-else! What wrong you do to the faithfullest--the truest----’
-
-‘He is the faithfullest,’ she said; then, after a moment, ‘but I will
-never blame him. I tell you beforehand. He has been more patient than
-ever man was.’
-
-Did she believe what she was saying? It was very hard to know. The
-fortnight flew by like a day. The days had been very long before in
-their monotony, but now these two weeks were like two hours. I never
-quite knew what passed. John had taken his courage in both hands, and
-had bearded the father himself in his den: but, so far as I could make
-out, it was not the father but the mother with her tears who vanquished
-him. ‘When I saw what her life was,’ he said to me when he took leave of
-me, ‘such a life! my mouth was closed. Who am I that I should take away
-her only comfort from her? We love each other very dearly, it is our
-happiness, it is the one thing which makes everything else sweet: but
-perhaps, as Ellen says, there is no duty in it. It is all enjoyment. Her
-duty is to them; it is her pleasure, she says, her happiness to be with
-me.’
-
-‘But--but you have been engaged for years. No doubt it is your
-happiness--but surely there is duty too.’
-
-‘She says not. My mind is rather confused. I don’t seem to know. Duty,
-you know, duty is a thing that it is rather hard to do; something one
-has to raise one’s self up to, and carry through with it, whether we
-like it or whether we don’t like it. That’s her definition; and it seems
-right--don’t you think it is right? But to say that of us would be
-absurd. It is all pleasure--all delight,’ his tired eyelids rose a
-little to show a gleam of emotion, then dropped again with a sigh; ‘that
-is her argument; I suppose it is true.’
-
-‘Then, do you mean to say----’ I cried, and stopped short in sheer
-bewilderment of mind, not knowing what words to use.
-
-‘I don’t think I mean to say anything. My head is all confused. I don’t
-seem to know. Our feeling is all one wish to be together; only to see
-one another makes us happy. Can there be duty in that? she says. It
-seems right, yet sometimes I think it is wrong, though I can’t tell
-how.’
-
-I was confused too and silenced. I did not know what to say. ‘It
-depends,’ I said faltering, ‘upon what you consider the object of life.’
-
-‘Some people say happiness; but that would not suit Ellen’s theory,’ he
-said. ‘Duty--I had an idea myself that duty was easily defined; but it
-seems it is as difficult as everything is. So far as I can make out,’ he
-added with a faint smile, ‘I have got no duties at all.’
-
-‘To be faithful to her,’ I said, recollecting the strange speech she had
-made to me.
-
-He almost laughed outright. ‘Faithful! that is no duty; it is my
-existence. Do you think I could be unfaithful if I were to try?’
-
-These were almost the last words he said to me. I suppose he satisfied
-himself that his duty to his employer required him to go away. And Ellen
-had a feverish desire that he should go away, now that the matter had
-been broached a second time. I am not sure that when the possibility of
-sacrifice on his part dawned upon her, the chance that he might
-relinquish for her this renewed chance of rising in the world, there did
-not arise in her mind a hasty impatient wish that he might be
-unfaithful, and give her up altogether. Sometimes the impatience of a
-tired spirit will take this form. Ellen was very proud; by dint of
-having made sacrifices all her life, she had an impetuous terror of
-being in her turn the object for which sacrifices should be made. To
-accept them was bitterness to her. She was eager to hurry all his
-preparations, to get him despatched, if possible, a little earlier than
-the necessary time. She kept a cheerful face, making little jokes about
-the Levant and the people he would meet there, which surprised
-everybody. ‘Is she glad that he is going? Chatty asked me, with eyes
-like two round lamps of alarmed surprise. The last night of all they
-spent with us--and it seemed a relief to Ellen that it should be thus
-spent, and not _tête-à-tête_ as so many other evenings had been. It was
-the very height and flush of summer, an evening which would not sink
-into darkness and night as other evenings do. The moon was up long
-before the sun had gone reluctantly away. We sat without the lamp in the
-soft twilight, with the stream of wayfarers going past the windows, and
-all the familiar sounds, which were not vulgar to us, we were so used to
-them. They were both glad of the half light. When I told Ellen to go and
-sing to us, she refused at first with a look of reproach; then, with a
-little shake of her head, as if to throw off all weakness, changed her
-mind and went to the piano. It was Chatty who insisted upon Mr.
-Ridgway’s favourite song, perhaps out of heedlessness, perhaps with that
-curious propensity the young often have to probe wounds and investigate
-how deep a sentiment may go. We sat in the larger room, John and myself,
-while behind, in the dim evening, in the distance, scarcely visible,
-Ellen sat at the piano and sang. What the effort cost her I would not
-venture to inquire. As for him, he sat with melancholy composure
-listening to every tone of her voice. She had a very sweet refined
-voice--not powerful, but tender, what people call sympathetic. I could
-not distinguish his face, but I saw his hand beat the measure
-accompanying every line, and when she came to the burden of the song he
-said it over softly to himself. Broken by all the babble outside, and by
-the music in the background, I yet heard him, all tuneless and low,
-murmuring this to himself: ‘I will come again, I will come again, my
-sweet and bonnie.’ Whether his eyes were dry I cannot tell, but mine
-were wet. He said them with no excitement, as if they were the words
-most simple, most natural--the very breathing of his heart. How often, I
-wonder, would he think of that dim room, the half-seen companions, the
-sweet and tender voice rising out of the twilight? I said to myself,
-‘Whoever may mistrust you, I will never mistrust you,’ with fervour. But
-just as the words passed through my mind, as if Ellen had heard them,
-her song broke off all in a moment, died away in the last line, ‘I will
-come a----’ There was a sudden break, a jar on the piano--and she
-sprang up and came towards us, stumbling, with her hands put out, as it
-she could not see. The next sound I heard was an unsteady little laugh,
-as she threw herself down on a sofa in the corner where Chatty was
-sitting. ‘I wonder why you are all so fond of that old-fashioned
-nonsense,’ she said.
-
-And next day the last farewells were said, and John went away.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII
-
-
-We left town directly after this for the autumn holidays. The holidays
-had not very much meaning now that all the boys had left school, and we
-might have gone away when we pleased. But the two youngest girls were
-still in the remorseless hands of Fräulein Stimme, and the habit of
-emancipation in the regular holiday season had clung to me. I tried very
-hard to get Ellen to go with us, for at least a day or two, but she
-resisted with a kind of passion. Her mother, I am sure, would have been
-glad had she gone; but Ellen would not. There was in her face a secret
-protestation, of which she was perhaps not even herself aware, that if
-her duty bound life itself from all expansion, it must also bind her in
-every day of her life. She would not accept the small alleviation,
-having, with her eyes open and with a full sense of what she was about,
-resigned everything else. She would have been more perfect, and her
-sacrifice more sweet, had she taken sweetly the little consolations of
-every day; but nobody is perfect, and Ellen would not come. I had gone
-to Pleasant Place to ask her, and the scene was a curious one. The
-mother and daughter both came to the parlour to receive me, and I saw
-them together for the first time. It was about a fortnight after John
-went away. Ellen had not been ill, though I had feared she would; but
-she was pale, with dark lines under her eyes, and a worn and nervous
-look. She was bearing her burden very bravely, but it was all the harder
-upon her that she was evidently determined not to complain. When I told
-my errand, Mrs. Harwood replied eagerly. ‘You must go, Ellen. Oh, yes! I
-can do; I can do very well. It will only be for a week, and it will do
-you so much good; you must go.’ Ellen took scarcely any notice of this
-address. She thanked me with her usual smile. ‘It is very, very good of
-you--you are always good--but it is impossible.’ ‘Why impossible, why
-impossible?’ cried her mother. ‘When I tell you I can do very well--I
-can manage. Your father will not mind, when it is to do you good.’ I saw
-that Ellen required a moment’s interval of preparation before she looked
-round.
-
-‘Dear mother,’ she said, ‘we have not any make-believes between us, have
-we? How is it possible that I can go? Every moment is mapped out. No,
-no; I cannot do it. Thank you all the same. My mother wants to give me a
-pleasure, but it cannot be. Go away for a week! I have never done that
-in all my life.’
-
-‘But you think she can, you think she ought,’ I said, turning to her
-mother. The poor woman looked at her child with a piteous look. I think
-it dawned upon her, then and there, for the first time, that perhaps she
-had made a mistake about Ellen. It had not occurred to her that there
-had been any selfishness in her tearful sense of the impossibility of
-parting with her daughter. All at once, in a moment, with a sudden gleam
-of that enlightenment which so often comes too late, she saw it. She saw
-it, and it went through her like an arrow. She turned to me with another
-piteous glance. What have I done? what have I done? her looks seemed to
-say.
-
-‘Two or three days,’ the poor woman said, with a melancholy attempt at
-playfulness. ‘Nothing can happen to us in that time. Her father is ill,’
-she said, turning to me as if I knew nothing, ‘and we are always
-anxious, he thinks it will be too much for me by myself. But what does
-it matter for a few days? If I am overdone, I can rest when she comes
-back.’
-
-Was it possible she could suppose that this was all I knew? I was afraid
-to catch Ellen’s eye. I did not know what might come after such a
-speech. She might break forth with some sudden revelation of all that I
-felt sure must be in her heart. I closed my eyes instinctively, sick
-with terror. Next moment I heard Ellen’s clear, agreeable voice.
-
-‘I don’t want you to be overdone, mother. What is the use of all that is
-past and gone if I am to take holidays and run away when I like for two
-or three days? No, no; my place is here, and here I must stay. I don’t
-want you to be overdone.’
-
-And looking at her, I saw that she smiled. But her mother’s face was
-full of trouble. She looked from Ellen to me, and from me to Ellen. For
-everything there is a beginning. Did she only then for the first time
-perceive what had been done?
-
-However, after this there was nothing more to say. We did not see Ellen
-again till the days were short and the brilliant weather over. She
-changed very much during that winter. Her youth, which had bloomed on so
-long unaltered, seemed to leave her in a day. When we came back, from
-looking twenty she suddenly looked thirty-five. The bloom went from her
-cheeks. She was as trim as ever, and as lightfooted, going out alert and
-bright every morning to her lessons; but her pretty little figure had
-shrunk, and her very step on the pavement sounded different. Life and
-all its hopes and anticipations seemed to have ebbed away from her. I
-don’t doubt that many of her neighbours had been going on in their dull
-routine of life without knowing even such hopes or prospects as hers,
-all this time by Ellen’s side, fulfilling their round of duty without
-any diversions. Oh, the mystery of these myriads of humble lives, which
-are never enlivened even by a romance manqué, a story that might have
-been; that steal away from dull youth to dull age, never knowing
-anything but the day’s work, never coming to anything! But Ellen had
-known a something different, a life that was her own; and now she had
-lost it. The effect was great: how could it be otherwise? She lost
-herself altogether for a little while, and when she came to again, as
-all worthy souls must come, she was another Ellen; older than her age as
-the other had been younger, and prepared for everything. No longer
-trying to evade suffering; rather desirous, if that might be, to
-forestall it, to discount it--if I may use the word--before it was due,
-and know the worst. She never told me this in words, but I felt that it
-was so. It is not only in a shipwreck that the unfortunate on the verge
-of death plunge in to get it over a few hours, a few minutes, sooner. In
-life there are many shipwrecks which we would forestall, if we could, in
-the same way, by a plunge--by a voluntary putting on of the decisive
-moment. Some, I suppose, will always put it off by every expedient that
-despair can suggest; but there are also those who can bear anything but
-to wait, until slowly, surely, the catastrophe comes. Ellen wanted to
-make the plunge, to get it over, partly for John’s sake, whose
-infidelity she began to calculate upon--to (she believed) wish for. ‘He
-will never be able to live without a home to go to, without a woman to
-speak to, now,’ she said once, in a moment of incaution--for she was
-very guarded, very reticent, about all this part of her mind, and rarely
-betrayed herself. It is curious how little faith women in general, even
-the most tender, have in a man’s constancy. Either it is because of an
-inherent want of trust in their own power to secure affection, which
-might be called humility; or else it is quite the reverse--a pride of
-sex too subtle to show, in any conscious way--overweening confidence in
-the power over a man of any other woman who happens to be near him, and
-want of confidence in any power on his part to resist these
-fascinations. Ellen had made up her mind that her lover when he was
-absent from her would be, as she would have said, ‘like all the rest.’
-Perhaps, in a kind of wild generosity, she wished it, feeling that she
-herself never might be free to make him happy; but, anyhow, she was
-persuaded that this was how it would be. She looked out for signs of it
-in his very first letter. She wanted to have it over--to cut off
-remorselessly out of her altered being all the agitations of hope.
-
-But I need not say that John’s letters were everything a lover’s, or
-rather a husband’s letters should be. They were more like a husband’s
-letters, with very few protestations in them, but a gentle continued
-reference to her, and to their past life together, which was more
-touching than any rhapsodies. She brought them to me often, folding
-down, with a blush which made her look like the blooming Ellen of old,
-some corner of especial tenderness, something that was too sacred for a
-stranger’s eye, but always putting them back in her pocket with a word
-which sounded almost like a grudge, as who should say, ‘For this once
-all is well, but next time you shall see.’ Thus she held on to her
-happiness as by a strained thread, expecting every moment when it would
-snap, and defying it to do so, yet throbbing all the time with a passion
-of anxiety, as day after day it held out, proving her foreboding vain.
-That winter, though I constantly saw her, my mind was taken up by other
-things than Ellen. It was then that the children finally prevailed upon
-me to leave the Road. A row of cheap advertising shops had sprung up
-facing us where had been the great garden I have so often mentioned, and
-the noise and flaring lights were more than I could put up with, after
-all my resistance to their wishes. So that at last, to my great regret,
-but the exultation of the young ones, it was decided that we must go
-away.
-
-The removal, and the bustle there was, the change of furniture--for our
-old things would not do for the new house, and Chatty, Heaven save us!
-had grown artistic, and even the little ones and Fräulein Stimme knew a
-great deal better than I did--occupied my mind and my time; and it took
-a still longer time to settle down than it did to tear up our old roots.
-So that there was a long interval during which we saw little of Ellen;
-and though we never forgot her, or ceased to take an interest in
-everything that concerned her, the distance of itself threw us apart.
-Now and then she paid us a visit, always with John’s letter in her
-pocket, but her time was so limited that she never could stay long. And
-sometimes I, and sometimes Chatty, made a pilgrimage to the old district
-to see her. But we never could have an uninterrupted long talk in
-Pleasant Place. Either Ellen was called away, or Mrs. Harwood would come
-in and sit down with her work, always anxiously watching her daughter.
-This separation from the only people to whom she could talk of her own
-private and intimate concerns was a further narrowing and limitation of
-poor Ellen’s life. But what could I do? I could not vex my children for
-her sake. She told us that she went and looked at the old house almost
-every day, and at the square window in which I used to sit and see John
-pass. John passed no longer, nor was I there to see. But Ellen remained
-bound in the same spot, seeing everything desert her--love, and
-friendship, and sympathy, and all her youth and her hope. Can you not
-fancy with what thoughts this poor girl (though she was a girl no
-longer) would pause, as she passed, to look at the abandoned place so
-woven in with the brightest episode of her life, feeling herself
-stranded there, impotent, unable to make a step--her breast still
-heaving with all the vigour of existence, yet her life bound down in the
-narrowest contracted circle? Her mother, who had got to watch her
-narrowly, told me afterwards that she always knew when Ellen had passed
-No. 16; and indeed I myself was rather glad to hear that at length No.
-16 had shared the general fate, that my window existed no longer, and
-that a great shop with plate-glass windows was bulging out where our
-house had been. Better when a place is desecrated that it should be
-desecrated wholly, and leave no vestige of its old self at all.
-
-Thus more than a year glided away, spring and winter, summer and autumn,
-and then winter again. Chatty came in one November morning, when London
-was half invisible, wrapped in mist and fog, with a very grave face, to
-tell me that she had met Ellen, and Ellen had told her there was bad
-news from John. ‘I can’t understand her,’ Chatty said. ‘I couldn’t make
-out what it was; that business had been bad, and things had gone wrong;
-and then something with a sort of laugh that he had got other thoughts
-in his mind at last, as she knew all along he would, and that she was
-glad. What could she mean?’ I did not know what she could mean, but I
-resolved to go and see Ellen to ascertain what the change was. It is
-easier however to say than to do when one is full of one’s own affairs,
-and so it happened that for a full week, though intending to go every
-day, I never did so. It was partly my fault. The family affairs were
-many, and the family interests engrossing. It was not that I cared for
-Ellen less, but my own claimed me on every hand. When one afternoon,
-about a fortnight after, I was told that Miss Harwood was in the
-drawing-room and wished to speak to me, my heart upbraided me with my
-neglect. I hurried to her and led her away from that public place where
-everybody came and went, to my own little sitting-room, where we might
-be alone. Ellen was very pale; her eyes looked very dry and bright, not
-dewy and soft as they used to be. There was a feverish look of unrest
-and excitement about her. ‘There is something wrong,’ I cried. ‘What is
-it? Chatty told me--something about John.’
-
-‘I don’t know that it is anything wrong,’ she said. The smile that had
-frightened Chatty came over her face--a smile that made one unhappy, the
-lip drawn tightly over the teeth in the most ghastly mockery of
-amusement. ‘No; I don’t know that it is anything wrong. You know I
-always expected--always from the moment he went away--that between him
-and me things would soon be at an end. Oh, yes, I expected it, and I did
-not wish it otherwise; for what good is it to me that a man should be
-engaged to me, and waste his life for me, when I never could do anything
-for him?’
-
-Here she made a little breathless pause, and laughed. ‘Oh, don’t, Ellen,
-don’t!’ I cried. I could not bear the laugh; the smile was bad enough.
-
-‘Why not?’ she said with a little defiance; ‘would you have me cry? I
-expected it long ago. The wonder is that it should have been so long
-coming. That is,’ she cried suddenly after a pause, ‘that is if this is
-really what it means. I took it for granted at first; but I cannot be
-certain. I cannot be certain! Read it, you who know him, and tell me,
-tell me! Oh, I can bear it quite well. I should be rather glad if this
-is what it means.’
-
-She thrust a letter into my hand, and going away with a rapid step to
-the window, stood there with her back to me, looking out. I saw her
-standing against the light, playing restlessly with the tassel of the
-blind. In her desire to seem composed, or else in the mere excitement
-which boiled in her veins, she began to hum a tune. I don’t think she
-knew herself what it was.
-
-The letter which she professed to have taken so easily was worn with
-much reading, and it had been carried about, folded and refolded a
-hundred times. There was no sign of indifference in all that--and this
-is what it said:--
-
- ‘I got your last letter, dear Ellen, on Tuesday. I think you must
- have written in low spirits. Perhaps you had a feeling, such as we
- used to talk about, of what was happening here. As for me, nobody
- could be in lower spirits than this leaves me. I have lost heart
- altogether. Everything has gone wrong; the business is at an end: I
- shut up the office to-day. If it is in any way my fault, God
- forgive me! But the conflict in my heart has been so great that I
- sometimes fear it must be my fault. I had been low enough before,
- thinking and thinking how the end was to come between you and me.
- Everything has gone wrong inside and out. I had such confidence,
- and now it is all going. What I had most faith in has deceived me.
- I thought I never was the man to change or to fail, and that I
- could have trusted myself in any circumstances; but it does not
- seem so. And why should I keep you hanging on when all’s wrong with
- me? I always thought I could redeem it; but it hasn’t proved so.
- You must just give me up, Ellen, as a bad job. Sometimes I have
- thought you wished it. Where I am to drift to, I can’t tell; but
- there’s no prospect of drifting back, or, what I hoped for, sailing
- back in prosperity to you. You have seen it coming, I can see by
- your letters, and I think, perhaps, though it seems strange to say
- so, that you won’t mind. I shall not stay here; but I have not made
- up my mind where to go. Forget a poor fellow that was never worthy
- to be yours.--JOHN RIDGWAY.’
-
-My hands dropped with the letter in them. The rustle it made was the
-only sign she could have had that I had read it, or else instinct or
-inward vision. That instant she turned upon me from the window with a
-cry of wild suspense: ‘Well?’
-
-‘I am confounded. I don’t know what to think. Ellen, it looks more like
-guilt to the office than falsehood to you.’
-
-‘Guilt--to the office!’ Her face blazed up at once in scorching colour.
-She looked at me in fierce resentment and excitement, stamping her foot.
-‘Guilt--to the office! How dare you? How dare you?’ she cried like a
-fury. She clenched her hands at me, and looked as if she could have torn
-me in pieces. ‘Whatever he has done,’ she cried, ‘he has done nothing he
-had not a right to do. Do you know who you are speaking of? John! You
-might as well tell me I had broken into your house at night and robbed
-you. _He_ have anything to blame himself for with the office?--never!
-nor with any one. What he has done is what he had a right to do--I am
-the first to say so. He has been wearied out. You said it once yourself,
-long, long before my eyes were opened; and at last he has done it--and
-he had a good right!’ She stood for one moment before me in the fervour
-of this fiery address; then, suddenly, she sank and dropped on her knees
-by my side. ‘You think it means that? You see it--don’t you see it? He
-has grown weary, as was so natural. He thought he could trust himself;
-but it proved different; and then he thought he could redeem it. What
-can that mean but one thing?--he has got some one else to care for him.
-There is nothing wrong in that. It is not I that will ever blame him.
-The only thing was that a horrible doubt came over me this morning--if
-it should not mean what I thought it did! That is folly, I know; but
-you, who know him--put away all that about wrong to the office, which is
-out of the question, and you will see it cannot be anything but one
-thing.’
-
-‘It is not that,’ I said.
-
-She clasped her hands, kneeling by my side. ‘You always took his part,’
-she said in a low voice. ‘You will not see it.’ Why did she tremble so?
-Did she want to believe it, or not to believe it? I could not understand
-Ellen. Just then, from the room below, there came a voice singing. It
-was Chatty’s voice, the child whom she had taught, who had been the
-witness of their wooing. She knew nothing about all this; she did not
-even know that Ellen was in the house. What so natural as that she
-should sing the song her mistress had taught her? It was that which
-Ellen herself had been humming as she stood at the window.
-
-‘Listen!’ I said. ‘You are answered in his own words--“I will come
-again.”’
-
-This was more than Ellen could bear. She made one effort to rise to her
-feet, to regain her composure; but the music was too much. At that
-moment I myself felt it to be too much. She fell down at my feet in a
-passion of sobs and tears.
-
-Afterwards I knew the meaning of Ellen’s passionate determination to
-admit no meaning but one to the letter. She had taken him at his word.
-In her certainty that this was to happen, she had seen no other
-interpretation to it, until it was too late. She had never sent any
-reply; and he had not written again. It was now a month since the letter
-had been received, and this sudden breaking off of the correspondence
-had been so far final on both sides. To satisfy myself, I sent to
-inquire at the office, and found that no blame was attached to John; but
-that he had been much depressed, unduly depressed, by his failure to
-remedy the faults of his predecessor, and had left as soon as his
-accounts were forwarded and all the business details carefully wound up:
-and had not been heard of more. I compelled, I may say, Ellen to write,
-now that it was too late; but her letter was returned to her some time
-after. He had left the place, and nothing was known of him there; nor
-could we discover where he had gone.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII
-
-
-This little tragedy, as it appeared to me at the time, made a great
-impression on my mind. It did not make me ill; that would have been
-absurd. But still it helped, I suppose, to depress me generally and
-enhance the effect of the cold that had hung about me so long, and for
-which the elder ones, taking counsel together, decided that the desire
-of the younger ones should be gratified, and I should be made to go to
-Italy for the spring. The girls were wild to go, and my long-continued
-lingering cold was such a good excuse. For my own part, I was not
-willing at all; but what can one woman, especially when she is their
-mother, do against so many? I had to give in and go. I went to see Ellen
-before we started, and it was a very painful visit. She was still
-keeping up with a certain defiance of everybody. But in the last two
-months she had changed wonderfully. For one thing, she had shrank into
-half her size. She was never anything but a little woman; but now she
-seemed to me no bigger than a child. And those cheerful, happy brown
-eyes, which had so triumphed over and smiled at all the privations of
-life, looked out from two hollow caverns, twice as large as they had
-ever been before, and with a woeful look that broke one’s heart. It was
-not always that they had this woeful look. When she was conscious of
-inspection she played them about with an artificial activity as if they
-had been lanterns, forcing a smile into them which sometimes looked
-almost like a sneer; but when she forgot that any one was looking at
-her, then both smile and light went out, and there was in them a woeful
-doubt and question which nothing could solve. Had she been wrong? Had
-she misjudged him whom her heart could not forget or relinquish? Was it
-likely that she could give him up lightly even had he been proved
-unworthy? And oh, Heaven! was he proved unworthy, or had she done him
-wrong? This was what Ellen was asking herself, without intermission, for
-ever and ever; and her mother, on her side, watched Ellen piteously with
-much the same question in her eyes. Had she, too, made a mistake? Was it
-possible that she had exacted a sacrifice which she had no right to
-exact, and in mere cowardice, and fear of loneliness, and desire for
-love and succour on her own part, spoiled two lives? This question,
-which was almost identical in both, made the mother and daughter
-singularly like each other; except that Ellen kept asking her question
-of the air, which is so full of human sighs, and the sky, whither so
-many ungranted wishes go up, and the darkness of space, in which is no
-reply--and the mother asked hers of Ellen, interrogating her countenance
-mutely all day long, and of every friend of Ellen’s who could throw any
-light upon the question. She stole into the room when Ellen left me for
-a moment, and whispered, coming close to me, lest the very walls should
-hear--
-
-‘How do you think she is looking? She will not say a word to me about
-him--not a word. Don’t you think she has been too hasty? Oh! I would
-give everything I have if she would only go with you and look for John,
-and make it up with him again.’
-
-‘I thought you could not spare her,’ I said with perhaps some cruelty in
-my intention. She wrung her hands, and looked piteously in my face.
-
-‘You think it is all my fault! I never thought it would come to this; I
-never thought he would go away. Oh, if I had only let them marry at
-first! I often think if she had been happy in her own home, coming to
-see her father every day, it would have been more of a change for him,
-more company than having her always. Oh! if one could only tell what is
-going to happen. She might have had a nice family by this time, and the
-eldest little girl big enough to run in and play at his feet and amuse
-her grandpa. He always was fond of children. But we’ll never see Ellen’s
-children now!’ cried the poor woman. ‘And you think it is my fault!’
-
-I could not reproach her; her black cap with the flowers, her little
-woollen shawl about her shoulders, grew tragic as she poured forth her
-trouble. It was not so dignified as the poet’s picture, but yet, like
-him, she
-
- Saw the unborn faces shine
- Beside the never lighted fire;
-
-and with a groan of misery felt herself the slayer of those innocents
-that had never been. The tragic and the comic mingled in the vision of
-that ‘eldest little girl,’ the child who would have amused her grandpa
-had she been permitted to come into being; but it was all tragic to poor
-Mrs. Harwood. She saw no laugh, no smile, in the situation anywhere.
-
-We went to Mentone, and stayed there till the bitterness of the winter
-was over, then moved along that delightful coast, and were in Genoa in
-April. To speak of that stately city as a commercial town seems
-insulting--and yet so it is now-a-days. I recognized at once the type I
-had known in other days when I sat at the window of the hotel and
-watched the people coming and going. It reminded me of my window in the
-Road, where, looking out, I saw the respectable City people--clerks like
-John Ridgway, and merchants of the same cut though of more substantial
-comfort--wending their way to their business in the morning, and to
-their suburban homes in the evening. I do not know that I love the
-commercial world; but I like to see that natural order of life--the man
-‘going forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening.’ The
-fashion of it is different in a foreign town, but still the life is the
-same. We changed our quarters however after we had been for some time in
-that city, so-called of palaces, and were lodged in a suite of rooms
-very hard to get up to (though the staircase was marble), but very
-delightful when one was there; rooms which overlooked the high terrace
-which runs round a portion of the bay between the inns and the quays. I
-forget what it is called. It is a beautiful promenade, commanding the
-loveliest view of that most beautiful bay and all that is going on in
-it. At night, with all its twinkling semicircle of lights, it was a
-continual enchantment to me; but this or any of my private admirations
-are not much to the purpose of my story. Sitting at the window, always
-my favourite post, I became acquainted with various individual figures
-among those who haunted this terrace. Old gentlemen going out to sun
-themselves in the morning before the heat was too great; children and
-nursemaids, Genoese women with their pretty veils, invalids who had got
-up the stairs, I cannot tell now, and sat panting on the benches,
-enjoying the sea air and the sunshine. There was one however among this
-panorama of passing figures, which gave me a startled sense of
-familiarity. It was too far off to see the man’s face. He was not an
-invalid; but he was bent, either with past sickness or with present
-care, and walked with a dropping head and a languid step. After watching
-him for a time, I concluded (having always a great weakness for making
-out other people’s lives, how they flow) that he had some occupation in
-the town from which he escaped, whenever he had leisure, to rest a
-little and refresh himself upon the terrace. He came very regularly,
-just at the time when Italian shops and offices have a way of shutting
-up, in the middle of the day--very regularly, always, or almost always,
-at the same hour. He came up the steps slowly and languidly, stopped a
-little to take breath, and then walked half way round the terrace to a
-certain bench upon which he always seated himself. Sometimes he brought
-his luncheon with him and ate it there. At other times, having once
-gained that place, he sat quite still in a corner of it, not reading,
-nor taking any notice of the other passers-by. No one was with him, no
-one ever spoke to him. When I noticed him first he startled me. Who was
-he like? His bent figure, his languid step, resembled no one I could
-think of; but yet I said to myself, He is like somebody. I established a
-little friendship with him, though it was a friendship without any
-return; for though I could see him he could not see me, nor could I
-distinguish his face; and we never saw him anywhere else, neither at
-church, nor in the streets, not even on the _festas_ when everybody was
-about; but always just there on that one spot. I looked for him as
-regularly as the day came. ‘My mother’s old gentleman,’ Chatty called
-him. Everybody is old who is not young to these children; but though he
-was not young he did not seem to me to be old. And he puzzled as much as
-he interested me. Who was he like? I never even asked myself, Who was
-he? It would be no one I had any chance of acquaintance with. Some poor
-_employé_ in a Genoa office; how should I know him? I could not feel at
-all sure, when I was cross-examined on the subject, whether I really
-remembered any one whom he was like; but yet he had startled me more
-than I can say.
-
-Genoa, where we had friends and family reasons for staying, became very
-hot as the spring advanced into early summer, and we removed to one of
-the lovely little towns on the coast at a little distance, Santa
-Margherita. When we had been settled there for a few days, Chatty came
-in to me one evening with a pale face. ‘I have just seen your old
-gentleman,’ she said. ‘I think he must live out here; but I saw by the
-expression of her eyes that there was more to say. She added after a
-moment, ‘And I know who he is like.’
-
-‘Ah! you have seen his face,’ I said; and then, before she had spoken,
-it suddenly flashed on myself in a moment, ‘John Ridgway!’ I cried.
-
-‘Mother,’ said Chatty, quite pale, ‘I think it is his ghost.’
-
-I went out with her instantly to where she had seen him, and we made
-some inquiries, but with no success. When I began to think it over, he
-was not like John Ridgway. He was bent and stooping, whereas John was
-erect; his head drooped, whereas how well I recollected poor John’s head
-thrown back a little, his hat upon the back of it, his visionary outlook
-rather to the skies than to the ground. No, no, not like him a bit; but
-yet it might be his ghost, as Chatty said. We made a great many
-inquiries, but for the moment with no success, and you may suppose that
-I watched the passers-by from my window with more devotion than ever.
-One evening in the sudden nightfall of the Italian skies, when darkness
-comes all at once, I was seated in my usual place, scarcely seeing
-however the moving figures outside, though all the population of the
-place seemed to be out, sitting round the doors, and strolling leisurely
-along enjoying the heavenly coolness and the breeze from the sea. At the
-further end of the room Chatty was at the piano, playing to me softly in
-the dark which she knows is what I like, and now and then striking into
-some old song such as I love. She was sure to arrive sooner or later at
-that one with which we now had so many associations; but I was not
-thinking of the song, nor for the moment of Ellen or her faithful (as I
-was sure he was still) lover at all. A woman with so many children has
-always plenty to think of. My mind was busy with my own affairs. The
-windows were open, and the babble of the voices outside--high pitched,
-resounding Italian voices, not like the murmur of English--came in to us
-as the music floated out. All at once, I suddenly woke up from my
-thinking and my family concerns. In the dusk one figure detached itself
-from among the others with a start, and came forward slowly with bent
-head and languid step. Had he never heard that song since he heard Ellen
-break off, choked with tears unshed, and a despair which had never been
-revealed? He came quite close under the window where I could see him no
-longer. I could not see him at all; it was too dark. I divined him. Who
-could it be but he? Not like John Ridgway, and yet John; his ghost, as
-Chatty had said.
-
-I did not stop to think what I was to do, but rose up in the dark room
-where the child was singing, only a voice, herself invisible in the
-gloom. I don’t know whether Chatty saw me go; but, if so, she was
-inspired unawares by the occasion, and went on with her song. I ran
-down-stairs and went out softly to the open door of the inn, where there
-were other people standing about. Then I saw him quite plainly by the
-light from a lower window. His head was slightly raised towards the
-place from which the song came. He was very pale in that pale, doubtful
-light, worn and old and sad; but as he looked up, a strange illumination
-was on his face. His hand beat the air softly, keeping time. As she came
-to the refrain his lips began to move as if he were repeating after his
-old habit those words, ‘I will come again.’ Then a sudden cloud of pain
-seemed to come over his face--he shook his head faintly, then bowed it
-upon his breast.
-
-In a moment I had him by the arm. ‘John,’ I said in my excitement; ‘John
-Ridgway! we have found you.’ For the moment, I believe, he thought it
-was Ellen who had touched him; his white face seemed to leap into light;
-then paled again. He took off his hat with his old formal, somewhat shy
-politeness--‘I thought it must be you, madame,’ he said. He said
-‘madame’ instead of the old English madam, which he had always used:
-this little concession to the changed scene was all the difference. He
-made no mystery about himself, and showed no reluctance to come in with
-me, to talk as of old. He told me he had a situation in an office in
-Genoa, and that his health was bad. ‘After that _fiasco_ in the Levant,
-I had not much heart for anything. I took the first thing that was
-offered,’ he said, with his old vague smile; ‘for a man must live--till
-he dies.’ ‘There must be no question of dying--at your age,’ I cried.
-This time his smile almost came the length of a momentary laugh. He
-shook his head, but he did not continue the subject He was very silent
-for some time after. Indeed, he said nothing, except in reply to my
-questions, till Chatty left, the room and we were alone. Then all at
-once, in the middle of something I was saying--‘Is she--married again?’
-he said.
-
-‘Married--again!’
-
-‘It is a foolish question. She was not married to me; but it felt much
-the same: we had been as one for so long. There must have been
-some--strong inducement--to make her cast me off so at the end.’
-
-This he said in a musing tone, as if the fact were so certain, and had
-been turned over in his mind so often that all excitement was gone from
-it. But after it was said, a gleam of anxiety came into his half-veiled
-eyes. He raised his heavy, tired eyelids and looked at me. Though he
-seemed to know all about it, and to be resigned to it when he began to
-speak, yet it seemed to flash across him, before he ended, that there
-was an uncertainty--an answer to come from me which would settle it,
-after all. Then he leaned forward a little, in this sudden sense of
-suspense, and put his hand to his ear as if he had been deaf, and said
-‘What?’ in an altered tone.
-
-‘There is some terrible mistake,’ I said. ‘I have felt there was a
-mistake all along. She has lost her hold on life altogether because she
-believes you to be changed.’
-
-‘Changed!’ His voice was quite sharp and keen, and had lost its languid
-tone. ‘In what way--in what way? how could I be changed?’
-
-‘In the only way that could matter between her and you. She thought,
-before you left the Levant, that you had got to care for some one
-else--that you had ceased to care for her. Your letter,’ I said, ‘your
-letter!’--half frightened by the way in which he rose, and his
-threatening, angry aspect--‘would bear that interpretation.’
-
-‘My letter!’ He stood before me for a moment with a sort of feverish,
-fierce energy; then he began to laugh, low and bitterly, and walk about
-as if unable to keep still. ‘My letter!’ The room was scarcely
-lighted--one lamp upon the table, and no more; and the half-darkness, as
-he paced about, made his appearance more threatening still. Then he
-suddenly came and stood before me as if it had been I that had wronged
-him. ‘I am a likely man to be a gay Lothario,’ he cried, with that laugh
-of mingled mockery and despair which was far more tragical than weeping.
-It was the only expression that such an extreme of feeling could find.
-He might have cried out to heaven and earth, and groaned and wept; but
-it would not have expressed to me the wild confusion, the overturn of
-everything, the despair of being so misunderstood, the miserable sum of
-suffering endured and life wasted for nothing, like this laugh. Then he
-dropped again into the chair opposite me, as if with the consciousness
-that even this excitement was vain.
-
-‘What can I say? What can I do? Has she never known me all
-along?--Ellen!’ He had not named her till now. Was it a renewal of life
-in his heart that made him capable of uttering her name?
-
-‘Do not blame her,’ I cried. ‘She had made up her mind that nothing
-could ever come of it, and that you ought to be set free. She thought of
-nothing else but this; that for her all change was hopeless--that she
-was bound for life; and that you should be free. It became a fixed idea
-with her; and when your letter came, which was capable of being
-misread----’
-
-‘Then the wish was father to the thought,’ he said, still bitterly. ‘Did
-she show it to you? did you misread it also? Poor cheat of a letter! My
-heart had failed me altogether. Between my failure and her slavery----
-But I never thought she would take me at my word,’ he went on piteously,
-‘never! I wrote, don’t you know, as one writes longing to be comforted,
-to be told it did not matter so long as we loved each other, to be
-bidden come home. And there never came a word--not a word.’
-
-‘She wrote afterwards, but you were gone; and her letter was returned to
-her.’
-
-‘Ah!’ he said, in a sort of desolate assent. ‘Ah! was it so? then that
-was how it had to be, I suppose; things were so settled before ever we
-met each other. Can you understand that?--all settled that it was to end
-just so in misery, and confusion, and folly, before ever we met.’
-
-‘I do not believe it,’ I cried. ‘There is no need that it should end so,
-even now; if--if you are unchanged still.’
-
-‘I--changed?’ He laughed at this once more, but not so tragically, with
-sham ridicule of the foolishness of the doubt. And then all of a sudden
-he began to sing--oh, it was not a beautiful performance! he had no
-voice, and not much ear; but never has the loveliest of music moved me
-more--‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie: I will come----’ Here he
-broke down as Ellen had done, and said, with a hysterical sob, ‘I’m ill;
-I think I’m dying. How am I, a broken man, without a penny, to come
-again?’
-
-Chatty and I walked with him to his room through the soft darkness of
-the Italian night. I found he had fever--the wasting, exhausting ague
-fever--which haunts the most beautiful coasts in the world. I did my
-best to reassure him, telling him that it was not deadly, and that at
-home he would soon be well; but I cannot say that I felt so cheerfully
-as I spoke, and all that John did was to shake his head. As we turned
-home again through all the groups of cheerful people, Chatty with her
-arm clasped in mine, we talked, it is needless to say, of nothing else.
-But not even to my child did I say what I meant to do. I am not rich,
-but still I can afford myself a luxury now and then. When the children
-were in bed I wrote a short letter, and put a cheque in it for twenty
-pounds. This was what I said. I was too much excited to write just in
-the ordinary way:--
-
-‘Ellen, I have found John, ill, heart-broken, but as faithful and
-unchanged as I always knew he was. If you have the heart of a mouse in
-you come out instantly--don’t lose a day--and save him. It may be time
-yet. If he can be got home to English air and to happiness it will still
-be time.
-
-‘I have written to your mother. She will not oppose you, or I am much
-mistaken. Take my word for all the details. I will expect you by the
-earliest possibility. Don’t write, but come.’
-
-In less than a week after I went to Genoa, and met in the steamboat from
-Marseilles, which was the quickest way of travelling then, a trembling,
-large-eyed, worn-out creature, not knowing if she were dead or alive,
-confused with the strangeness of everything, and the wonderful change in
-her own life. It was one of John’s bad days, and nobody who was not
-acquainted with the disease would have believed him other than dying. He
-was lying in a kind of half-conscious state when I took Ellen into his
-room. She stood behind me clinging to me, undistinguishable in the
-darkened place. The flush of the fever was going off; the paleness as of
-death and utter exhaustion stealing over him. His feeble fingers were
-moving faintly upon the white covering of his bed; his eyelids half
-shut, with the veins showing blue in them and under his eyes. But there
-was a faint smile on his face. Wherever he was wandering in those
-confused fever dreams, he was not unhappy. Ellen held by my arm to keep
-herself from falling. ‘Hope! you said there was hope,’ she moaned in my
-ear, with a reproach that was heart-rending. Then he began to murmur
-with his almost colourless yet smiling lips, ‘I will come again, my
-sweet and bonnie; I will come--again.’ And then the fingers faintly
-beating time were still.
-
-But no, no! Do not take up a mistaken idea. He was not dead; and he did
-not die. We got him home after a while. In Switzerland, on our way to
-England, I had them married safe and fast under my own eye. I would
-allow no more shilly-shally. And, indeed, it appeared that Mrs. Harwood,
-frightened by all the results of her totally unconscious domestic
-despotism, was eager in hurrying Ellen off, and anxious that John should
-come home. He never quite regained his former health, but he got
-sufficiently well to take another situation, his former employers
-anxiously aiding him to recover his lost ground. And they took
-Montpellier Villa after all, to be near Pleasant Place, where Ellen goes
-every day, and is, Mrs. Harwood allows, far better company for her
-father, and a greater relief to the tedium of his life, than when she
-was more constantly his nurse and attendant. I am obliged to say however
-that the mother has had a price to pay for the emancipation of the
-daughter. There is nothing to be got for nought in this life. And
-sometimes Ellen has a compunction, and sometimes there is an unspoken
-reproach in the poor old lady’s tired eyes. I hope for my own part that
-when that ‘eldest little girl’ is a little older Mrs. Harwood’s life
-will be greatly sweetened and brightened. But yet it is she that has to
-pay the price; for no argument, not even the last severe winter, and
-many renewed ‘attacks,’ will persuade that old tyrant, invisible in his
-upper chamber, to die.
-
-A song needs no story perhaps; but a story is always the better for a
-song: so that after all I need not perhaps apologize to Beethoven and
-his interpreters as I meant to do for taking their lovely music as a
-suggestion of the still greater harmonies of life.
-
- THE END
-
- RICHARD CLAY AND SONS, LIMITED,
-
- LONDON AND BUNGAY.
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Neighbours on the Green; My Faithful Johnny, by
-Mrs. Oliphant
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-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
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-Title: Neighbours on the Green; My Faithful Johnny
-
-Author: Mrs. Oliphant
-
-Release Date: February 3, 2017 [EBook #54106]
-[Last updated: October 14, 2017]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NEIGHBOURS ON THE GREEN ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
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-</pre>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="324" height="500" alt="" title="" />
-</div>
-
-<p class="c">NEIGHBOURS<br />
-ON &nbsp; THE &nbsp; GREEN</p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/colophon.png" width="120" alt="colophon" title="" />
-</div>
-
-<h1>
-NEIGHBOURS<br />
-ON &nbsp; THE &nbsp;GREEN</h1>
-
-<p class="c">MRS. OLIPHANT<br />
-<br />
-<small>‘Old wives’ tales.’</small><br />
-<br />
-<span class="eng">London</span><br />
-MACMILLAN AND CO.<br />
-<small>AND NEW YORK<br />
-<br />
-1889<br />
-<br />
-<i>All Rights Reserved.</i><br />
-<br />
-<span class="smcap">Richard Clay and Sons, Limited</span>,<br />
-LONDON AND BUNGAY.</small>
-<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
-<span class="eng">Inscribed</span><br />
-<br />
-<small>TO SEVERAL OLD FRIENDS,<br />
-<br />
-AND ESPECIALLY TO THE GALLANT SOLDIER AND WRITER,</small><br />
-<br />
-<span class="eng">General George Chesney,</span><br />
-<br />
-<small>AND THE DISTINGUISHED CRITIC AND PHILOSOPHER,</small><br />
-<br />
-<span class="eng">Mr. R. H. Hutton,</span><br />
-<br />
-<small>WHO AT THE TIME THESE STORIES WERE<br />
-<br />
-WRITTEN GAVE DISTINCTION TO</small><br />
-<br />
-THE GREEN.<br />
-</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#MY_NEIGHBOUR_NELLY"><span class="smcap">My Neighbour Nelly</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_1">1</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#LADY_DENZIL"><span class="smcap">Lady Denzil</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_31">31</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#THE_STOCKBROKER_AT_DINGLEWOOD"><span class="smcap">The Stockbroker at Dinglewood</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_65">65</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#THE_SCIENTIFIC_GENTLEMAN"><span class="smcap">The Scientific Gentleman</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_99">99</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#LADY_ISABELLA"><span class="smcap">Lady Isabella</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_148">148</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#AN_ELDERLY_ROMANCE"><span class="smcap">An Elderly Romance</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_182">182</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#MRS_MERRIDEWS_FORTUNE"><span class="smcap">Mrs. Merridew’s Fortune</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_207">207</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#THE_BARLEY_MOW"><span class="smcap">The Barley Mow</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_237">237</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><a href="#MY_FAITHFUL_JOHNNY"><span class="smcap">My Faithful Johnny</span></a></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_271">271</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_1" id="page_1"></a>{1}</span></p>
-
-<h1><span class="eng">Neighbours on the Green</span></h1>
-
-<h2><a name="MY_NEIGHBOUR_NELLY" id="MY_NEIGHBOUR_NELLY"></a>MY NEIGHBOUR NELLY</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">They</span> were both my neighbours, of course: but to apportion one’s heart’s
-love in equal shares according to the claims of justice is a very
-different matter. I saw as much of one sister as the other. And Martha
-was an excellent girl, quite honest and friendly and good; but as for
-Ellen, there never could be any question about her. One did not even
-think of discriminating which were her special good qualities. She was
-Ellen, that was enough; or Nelly, which I prefer, for my part. We all
-lived at Dinglefield Green in these old days. It is a model of a
-village, in one sense of the word; not the kind of place, it is true, to
-which the name is generally applied, but a village <i>orné</i>, as there are
-cottages <i>ornés</i>. The real little hamlet, where the poor people lived,
-was at a little distance, and gave us plenty of occupation and trouble.
-But for Dinglefield Green proper, it was such a village as exists
-chiefly in novels. The Green was the central point, a great triangular
-breadth of soft grass, more like a small common than a village green,
-with the prettiest houses round&mdash;houses inclosed in their own
-grounds,&mdash;houses at the very least embosomed in pretty gardens, peeping
-out from among the trees. None of us were very rich; nor was there
-anything that could be called a ‘place’ in the circle of dwellings. But
-I believe there was as much good blood and good connection among us as
-are rarely to be found even in a much larger community. The great house
-opposite, which was separated from the green by a ha-ha, and opened to
-us only a pretty sweep of lawn, looking almost like a park, belonged to
-Sir Thomas Denzil, whose pedigree, as everybody knows, is longer than
-the Queen’s. Next to him was Mrs. Stoke’s pretty cottage who was&mdash;one of
-the Stokes who have given their name<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_2" id="page_2"></a>{2}</span> to places all over the country:
-the son is now General Stoke, a C.B., and I don’t know what besides: and
-her daughter married Lord Leamington. Next to that&mdash;but it is needless
-to give a directory of the place: probably our neighbours, in their
-different habitations, may appear in their proper persons before my
-story is done.</p>
-
-<p>The sisters lived next to me; my house lay, as their father said,
-athwart their bows. The Admiral was too much a gentleman to talk ship,
-or shop, as the gentlemen call it, in ordinary conversation; but he did
-say that my cottage lay athwart his bows; and the girls admitted that it
-would have been unpleasant had it been anybody but me. I was then a
-rather young widow, and having no children, did not want much of a
-house. My cottage was very pretty. I think myself that there was not so
-pretty a room in all the green as my drawing-room; but it was small. My
-house stood with its gable-end to the green, and fronted the hedge which
-was the boundary of Admiral Fortis’ grounds. His big gate and my small
-one were close together. If the hedge had been cut down, I should have
-commanded a full view of the lawn before his house, and the door; and
-nobody could have gone out or come in without my inspection. They were
-so friendly, that it was once proposed to cut it down, and give me and
-my flowers more air; but we both reflected that we were mortal;
-circumstances might change with both of us; I might die, and some one
-else come to the cottage whose inspection might not be desirable; or the
-Admiral might die, and his girls marry, and strangers come. In short,
-the end of it was that the hedge remained; but instead of being a thick
-holly wall, like the rest of my inclosure, it was a picturesque hedge of
-hawthorn, which was very sweet in spring and a perfect mass of
-convolvulus in autumn; and it had gaps in it and openings. Nelly herself
-made a round cutting just opposite my window, and twined the honeysuckle
-into a frame for it. I could see them through it as I sat at work. I
-could see them at their croquet, and mounting their horses at the door,
-and going out for their walks, and doing their capricious gardening.
-Indeed it was Nelly only who ever attempted to work in the garden; the
-other was afraid of her hands and her complexion, and a hundred things.
-Nelly was not afraid of anything&mdash;not even of Mr. Nicholson, the
-gardener, who filled me with awe and trembling. Perhaps you may say that
-there was not much fear of her complexion. She was brown, to begin with;
-but the prettiest brown&mdash;clear, with crimson flushes that went and came,
-and changed her aspect every moment. Her eyes were the softest dark eyes
-I ever saw; they did not penetrate or flash or sparkle, but glowed on
-you with a warm lambent light. In winter, with her red cloak on, she was
-the prettiest little figure; and the cold suited her, and made her glow
-and bound about like a creature of air. As for Martha, she was a great
-deal larger and whiter than her sister. I suppose, on the whole, she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_3" id="page_3"></a>{3}</span>
-was the prettier of the two, though she did not please me so well. They
-were their father’s only children, and he was very fond of them. Their
-mother had been dead so long that they had no recollection of her; and
-the girls were not without those defects which girls brought up by a man
-are so apt to have. They were rather disposed to think that anything
-could be had for a little coaxing. Perhaps they had more confidence in
-their own blandishments than is common with girls, and were more ready
-to use them, knowing how powerless papa was against their arts. They
-were badly educated, for the same reason. The Admiral was too fond of
-them to part with them; and he was one of the men who fear reports and
-rumours, and would not have a lady, not even a middle-aged governess, in
-his house. He had expensive masters for his girls, and the girls did
-what they pleased with those excellent gentlemen, and grew up with the
-very smallest amount of education compatible with civilization. I rather
-liked it, I confess, in Nelly, who was very bright, and asked about
-everything, and jumped at an understanding of most things she heard of.
-But it did not answer in Martha’s case, who was not bright, and was the
-sort of girl who wanted to be taught music, for instance, properly, and
-to practise six hours a day. Without being taught, and without
-practising, the good girl (for Nelly, as she explained, had no taste for
-music) thought it her duty to play to amuse her friends; and the result
-was a trial to the temper of Dinglefield Green. We had some very good
-musicians among us, and Martha heard them continually, but never was
-enlightened as to the nature of her own performance; whereas Nelly knew
-and grew crimson every time her sister approached the piano. But Nelly
-was my favourite, as everybody knew; and perhaps, as a natural
-consequence, I did her sister less than justice.</p>
-
-<p>We led a very pleasant, neighbourly life in those days. Some of us were
-richer, and some poorer; but we all visited each other. The bigger
-houses asked the smaller ones to dinner, and did not disdain to pay a
-return visit to tea. In the summer afternoons, if you crossed the Green
-(and could hear anything for the noise the cricketers made) you would be
-sure to hear, in one quarter or another, the click of the croquet balls,
-and find all the young people of the place assembled over their game,
-not without groups of the elder ones sitting round on the edge of the
-well-mown lawns. When I settled there first, I was neither young nor
-old, and there was a difficulty which party to class me with; but by
-degrees I found my place among the mothers, or aunts, or general
-guardians of the society; and by degrees my young neighbours came to be
-appropriated to me as my particular charge. We walked home together, and
-we went to parties together; and, of course, a little gossip got up
-about the Admiral&mdash;gossip which was entirely without foundation, for I
-detest second marriages, and indeed have had quite enough of it for my
-part. But Nelly took a clinging to me&mdash;I don’t say a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4"></a>{4}</span> fancy, which would
-be too light a word. She had never known a woman intimately
-before&mdash;never one older than herself, to whom she was half a child and
-half a companion. And she liked it, and so did I.</p>
-
-<p>There was one absurd peculiarity about the two girls, which I shall
-always think was the foundation of all the mischief. They never called
-each other, nor were called, by their names. They were ‘the Sisters’ to
-everybody. I suppose it was a fancy of their father’s&mdash;he called them
-‘the Sisters’ always. They called each other Sister when they spoke to
-or of each other. It annoyed me at first, and I made an attempt to
-change the custom. But Martha disliked her name. She had been called
-after her grandmother, and she thought it was a shame. ‘Martha and
-Ellen!’ she said indignantly. ‘What could papa be thinking of? It sounds
-like two old women in the alms-houses. And other girls have such pretty
-names. If you call me Martha, Mrs. Mulgrave, I will never speak to you
-again.’ When one thought of it, it was a hard case. I felt for her, for
-my own name is Sarah, and I remember the trouble it was to me when I was
-a girl; and the general use and wont of course overcame me at last. They
-were called ‘the Sisters’ everywhere on the Green. I believe some of us
-did not even know their proper names. I said mischief might come of it,
-and they laughed at me; but there came a time when Nelly, at least,
-laughed at me no more.</p>
-
-<p>It was in the early summer that young Llewellyn came to stay with the
-Denzils at their great house opposite. He was a distant cousin of
-theirs, which was a warrant that his family was all that could be
-desired. And he had a nice little property in Wales, which had come to
-him unexpectedly on the death of an elder brother. And, to crown all, he
-was a sailor, having gone into the navy when he was a second son. Of
-course, being a naval man, it was but natural that he should be brought
-to the Admiral first of all. And he very soon got to be very intimate in
-the house; and indeed, for that matter, in every house on the Green. I
-believe it is natural to sailors to have that hearty, cordial way. He
-came to see me, though I had no particular attraction for him, as
-cheerfully as if I had been a girl, or alas! had girls of my own.
-Perhaps it was the opening in the hedge that pleased him. He would sit
-and look&mdash;but he did not speak to me of the sisters, more’s the pity. He
-was shy of that subject. I could see he was in real earnest, as the
-children say, by his shyness about the girls. He would begin to say
-something, and then rush on to another subject, and come back again half
-an hour after to the identical point he had started from. But I suppose
-it never occurred to him that I had any skill to fathom that. He went
-with them on all their picnics, and was at all their parties; and he
-rode with them, riding very well for a sailor. The rides are beautiful
-round Dinglefield. There is a royal park close at hand, where you can
-lose yourself<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5"></a>{5}</span> in grassy glades and alleys without number. I had even
-been tempted to put myself on my old pony, and wander about with them on
-the springy turf under the trees; though, as for their canterings and
-gallopings, and the way in which Nelly’s horse kicked its heels about
-when it got excited, they were always alarming to me. But it was a
-pleasant life. There is something in that moment of existence when the
-two who are to go together through life see each other first, and are
-mysteriously attracted towards each other, and forswear their own ideal
-and all their dreams, and mate themselves, under some secret compulsion
-which they do not understand&mdash;I say there is something in such a moment
-which throws a charm over life to all their surroundings. Though it be
-all over for us; though perhaps we may have been in our own persons
-thoroughly disenchanted, or may even have grown bitter in our sense of
-the difference between reality and romance, still the progress of an
-incipient wooing gives a zest to our pleasure. There is something in the
-air, some magical influence, some glamour, radiating from the hero and
-the heroine. When everything is settled, and the wedding looms in sight,
-fairyland melts away, and the lovers are no more interesting than any
-other pair. It is perhaps the uncertainty, the chance of disaster; the
-sense that one may take flight or offence, or that some rival may come
-in, or a hundred things happen to dissipate the rising tenderness. There
-is the excitement of a drama about it&mdash;a drama subject to the curious
-contradictions of actual existence, and utterly regardless of all the
-unities. I thought I could see the little sister, who was my pet and
-favourite, gradually grouping thus with young Llewellyn. They got
-together somehow, whatever the arrangements of the party might be. They
-might drive to the Dingle, which was our favourite spot, in different
-carriages, with different parties, and at different times; but they were
-always to be found together under the trees when everybody had arrived.
-Perhaps they did not yet know it themselves; but other people began to
-smile, and Lady Denzil, I could see, was watching Nelly. She had other
-views, I imagine, for her young cousin since he came to the estate.
-Nelly, too, once had very different views. I knew what her ideal was.
-It, or rather he, was a blonde young giant, six feet tall at least, with
-blue eyes, and curling golden hair. He was to farm his own land, and
-live a country life, and be of no profession; and he was to be pure
-Saxon, to counterbalance a little defect in Nelly’s race, or rather, as
-she supposed, in her complexion, occasioned by the fact that her mother
-was of Spanish blood. Such was her ideal, as she had often confided to
-me. It was funny to see how this gigantic and glorious vision melted out
-of her mind. Llewellyn was not very tall; he was almost as dark as
-Nelly; he was a sailor, and he was a Welshman. What did it matter? One
-can change one’s ideal so easily when one is under twenty. Perhaps in
-his imagination he had loved a milk-white maiden too.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6"></a>{6}</span></p>
-
-<p>Lady Denzil however watched, having, as I shall always believe, other
-intentions in her mind for Llewellyn, though she had no daughter of her
-own; and I am sure it was her influence which hurried him away the last
-day, without taking leave of any of us. She kept back the telegram which
-summoned him to join his ship, until there was just time to get the
-train. And so he had to rush away, taking off his hat to us, and almost
-getting out of the window of the carriage in his eagerness, when he saw
-us at the Admiral’s door, as he dashed past to the station.</p>
-
-<p>‘Good-bye, for the moment,’ he shouted; ‘I hope I am coming back.’ And I
-could see, by the colour in Nelly’s cheek, that their eyes had met, and
-understood each other. Her sister bowed and smiled very graciously, and
-chattered about a hundred things.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wonder why he is going in such a hurry? I wonder what he means about
-coming back?’ said Martha. ‘I am sure I am very sorry he is gone. He was
-very nice, and always ready for anything. What a bore a ship is! I
-remember when papa was like that&mdash;always rushing away. Don’t you,
-Sister?&mdash;but you were too young.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I remember hearing people talk of it,’ said Nelly with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>She was <i>rêveuse</i>, clouded over, everything that it was natural to be
-under the circumstances. She would not trust herself to say he was nice.
-It was I who had to answer, and keep up the conversation for her. For my
-own part, I confess I was vexed that he had gone so soon&mdash;that he had
-gone without an explanation. These things are far better to be settled
-out of hand. A man has to go away when his duty calls; but nobody can
-make sure when he may come back, or what he may find when he comes back.
-I was sorry, for I knew a hundred things might happen to detain, or keep
-him silent; and Nelly’s heart was caught, I could see. She had been
-quite unsuspecting, unfearing; and it was gone ere she understood what
-she was doing. My heart quaked a little for her; not with any fear of
-the result, but only with a certain throbbing of experience and anxiety
-that springs therefrom. Experience does not produce hope in the things
-of this world. It lays one’s heart open to suspicions and fears which
-never trouble the innocent. It was not because of anything I had seen in
-Llewellyn; but because I had seen a great deal of the world, and things
-in general. This was why I kissed her with a little extra meaning, and
-told her to lie down on the sofa when she got home.</p>
-
-<p>‘You have not been looking your best for some days,’ I said. ‘You are
-not a giantess, nor so robust as you pretend to be. You must take care
-of yourself.’ And Nelly, though she made no reply, kissed me in her
-clinging way in return.</p>
-
-<p>Some weeks passed after that without any particular incident. Things
-went on in their usual way, and though we were all sorry that Llewellyn
-was gone, we made no particular moan over him after the first. It was
-very rarely that a day passed on which I did not see the sisters; but
-the weather was beginning<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7"></a>{7}</span> to get cold, and one Friday there was a fog
-which prevented me from going out. Ours is a low country, with a great
-many trees, and the river is not far off; and when there is a fog, it is
-very dreary and overwhelming. It closes in over the Green, so that you
-cannot see an inch before you; and the damp creeps into your very bones:
-though it was only the end of October, the trees hung invisible over our
-heads in heavy masses, now and then dropping a faded leaf out of the fog
-in a ghostly, silent way: and the chill went to one’s heart. I had a new
-book, for which I was very thankful, and my fire burned brightly, and I
-did not stir out of doors all day. I confess it surprised me a little
-that the girls did not come in to me in the evening, as they had a way
-of doing, with their red cloaks round them, and the hoods over their
-heads, like Red Riding Hood. But I took it for granted they had some
-friends from town, or something pleasant on hand; though I had not heard
-any carriage driving up. As for seeing, that was impossible. Next
-morning, by a pleasant change, was bright, sunny, and frosty. For the
-first time that season, the hedges and gardens, and even the Green
-itself, was crisp and white with hoar-frost, which, of course, did not
-last, but gave us warning of winter. When I went out, I met Nelly just
-leaving her own door. She was in her red cloak, with her dress tucked
-up, and the little black hat with the red feather, which was always so
-becoming to her. But either it was not becoming that day, or there was
-something the matter with the child. I don’t remember whether I have
-said that she had large eyes&mdash;eyes that, when she was thinner than
-usual, or ill, looked out of proportion to the size of her face. They
-had this effect upon me that day. One did not seem to see Nelly at all;
-but only a big pair of wistful, soft eyes looking at one, with shadowy
-lines round them. I was alarmed, to tell the truth, whenever I saw her.
-Either something had happened, or the child was ill.</p>
-
-<p>‘Good morning, my dear,’ I said, ‘I did not see you all yesterday, and
-it feels like a year. Were you coming to me now?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Nelly&mdash;and even in the sound of her voice there was something
-changed&mdash;‘it is so long since I have been in the village. I had settled
-to go down there this morning, and take poor Mary Jackson some warm
-socks we have been knitting for the babies. It is so cold to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought you never felt the cold,’ said I, as one does without
-thinking. ‘You are always as merry as a cricket in the winter weather,
-when we are all shivering. You know you never feel the cold.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Nelly again. ‘I suppose it is only the first chill’&mdash;and she
-gave me a strange little sick smile, and suddenly looked down and
-stooped to pick up something. I saw in a moment there was nothing to
-pick up. Could it be that there were tears in her eyes, which she wanted
-to hide? ‘But I must go now,’ she went on hurriedly. ‘Oh, no, don’t
-think of coming<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8"></a>{8}</span> with me; it is too cold, and I shall have to walk fast,
-I am in such a hurry. Good-bye.’</p>
-
-<p>I could do nothing but stand and stare after her when she had gone on.
-What did it mean? Nelly was not given to taking fancies, or losing her
-temper&mdash;at least not in this way. She walked away so rapidly that she
-seemed to vanish out of my sight, and never once looked round or turned
-aside for anything. The surprise was so great that I actually forgot
-where I was going. It could not be for nothing that she had changed like
-this. I went back to my own door, and then I came out again and opened
-the Admiral’s gate. Probably Martha was at home, and would know what was
-the matter. As I was going in, Martha met me coming out. She was in her
-red cloak, like Nelly, and she had a letter in her hand. When she saw me
-she laughed, and blushed a little. ‘Will you come with me to the post,
-Mrs. Mulgrave?’ she said. ‘Sister would not wait for me; and when one
-has an important letter to post&mdash;&mdash;’ Martha went on, holding it up to
-me, and laughing and blushing again.</p>
-
-<p>‘What makes it so very important?’ said I; and I confess that I tried
-very hard to make out the address.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, didn’t she tell you?’ said Martha. ‘What a funny girl she is! If it
-had been me I should have rushed all over the Green, and told everybody.
-It is&mdash;can’t you guess?’</p>
-
-<p>And she held out to me the letter in her hand. It was addressed to
-‘Captain Llewellyn, H.M.S. <i>Spitfire</i>, Portsmouth.’ I looked at it, and
-I looked at her, and wonder took possession of me. The address was in
-Martha’s handwriting. It was she who was going to post it; it was she
-who, conscious and triumphant, giggling a little and blushing a little,
-stood waiting for my congratulations. I looked at her aghast, and my
-tongue failed me. ‘I don’t know what it means,’ I said, gasping. ‘I
-can’t guess. Is it you who have been writing to Captain Llewellyn, or is
-it Nelly, or who is it? Can there have been any mistake?’</p>
-
-<p>Martha was offended, as indeed she had reason to be. ‘There is no
-mistake,’ she said indignantly. ‘It is a very strange sort of thing to
-say, when any friend, any acquaintance even, would have congratulated
-me. And you who know us so well! Captain Llewellyn has asked me to marry
-him&mdash;that is all. I thought you might have found out what was coming.
-But you have no eyes for anybody but Sister. You never think of me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I beg your pardon,’ said I, faltering; ‘I was so much taken by
-surprise. I am sure I wish you every happiness, Martha. Nobody can be
-more anxious for your welfare than I am&mdash;’ and here I stopped short in
-my confusion, choked by the words, and not knowing what to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I am sure of that,’ said Martha affectionately, stopping at the
-gate to give me a kiss. ‘I said so to Sister this morning. I said I am
-sure Mrs. Mulgrave will be pleased. But are you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9"></a>{9}</span> <i>really</i> so much
-surprised? Did you never think this was how it was to be?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ I said, trembling in spite of myself; ‘I never thought of it. I
-thought indeed&mdash;but that makes no difference now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What did you think?’ said Martha; and then her private sense of pride
-and pleasure surmounted everything else. ‘Well, you see it is so,’ she
-said, with a beaming smile. ‘He kept his own counsel, you see. I should
-not have thought he was so sly&mdash;should you? I dare say he thinks he
-showed it more than he did; for he says I must have seen how it was from
-the first day.’</p>
-
-<p>And she stood before me so beaming, so dimpling over with smiles and
-pleasure, that my heart sank within me. Could it be a mistake, or was it
-I&mdash;ah! how little it mattered for me&mdash;was it my poor Nelly who had been
-deceived?</p>
-
-<p>‘And did you?’ I said, looking into her face, ‘did you see it from the
-first day?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, n-no,’ said Martha, hesitating; and then she resumed with a
-laugh, ‘That shows you how sly he must have been. I don’t think I ever
-suspected such a thing; but then, to be sure, I never thought much about
-him, you know.’</p>
-
-<p>A little gleam of comfort came into my heart as she spoke. ‘Oh, then,’ I
-said, relieved, ‘there is no occasion for congratulations after all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why is there no occasion for congratulations?’ said Martha. ‘Of course
-there is occasion. I wanted Sister to run in and tell you last night,
-but she wouldn’t; and I rather wanted you to tell me what I should say,
-or, rather, how I should say it; but I managed it after all by myself. I
-suppose one always can if one tries. It comes by nature, people say.’
-And Martha laughed again, and blushed, and cast a proud glance on the
-letter she held in her hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘But if you never had thought of him yesterday,’ said I, ‘you can’t have
-accepted him to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why not?’ said Martha, with a toss of her pretty head&mdash;and she was
-pretty, especially in that moment of excitement. I could not refuse to
-see it. It was a mere piece of pink-and-white prettiness, instead of my
-little nut-brown maid, with her soft eyes, and her bright varied gleams
-of feeling and intelligence. But then you can never calculate on what a
-man may think in respect to a girl. Men are such fools; I mean where
-women are concerned.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why not?’ said Martha, with a laugh. ‘I don’t mean I am frantically in
-love with him, you know. How could I be, when I never knew he cared for
-me? But I always said he was very nice; and then it is so suitable. And
-I don’t care for anybody else. It would be very foolish of me to refuse
-him without any reason. Of course,’ said Martha, looking down upon her
-letter, ‘I shall think of him very differently now.’</p>
-
-<p>What could I say? I was at my wits’ end. I walked on by her side to the
-post-office in a maze of confusion and doubt. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10"></a>{10}</span> could have snatched the
-letter out of her hand, and torn it into a hundred pieces; but that
-would have done little good; and how could I tell if it was a mistake
-after all? He might have sought Nelly for her sister’s sake. He might
-have been such a fool, such a dolt, as to prefer Martha. All this time
-he might but have been making his advances to her covertly&mdash;under shield
-as it were of the gay bright creature who was too young and too
-simple-hearted to understand such devices. Oh, my little nut-brown maid!
-no wonder her eyes were so large and shadowy, her pretty cheeks so
-colourless! I could have cried with vexation and despair as I went along
-step for step with the other on the quiet country road. Though she was
-so far from being bright, Martha at last was struck by my silence. It
-took her a considerable time to find it out, for naturally her own
-thoughts were many, and her mind was fully pre-occupied; but she did
-perceive it at last.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think you seem to like it, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said; ‘not so
-much as I thought you would. You were the very first person I thought
-of; I was coming to tell you when I met you. And I thought you would
-sympathize with me and be so pleased to hear&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ said I, ‘I am pleased to hear&mdash;anything that is for your
-happiness; but then I am so much surprised. It was not what I looked
-for. And then, good heavens! if it should turn out to be some
-mistake&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said Martha angrily, ‘I don’t know what you can mean.
-This is the second time you have talked of a mistake. What mistake could
-there be? I suppose Captain Llewellyn knows what he is doing: unless you
-want to be unkind and cross. And what have I done that you should be so
-disagreeable to me?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, my dear child!’ I cried in despair, ‘I don’t know what I mean; I
-thought once&mdash;there was Major Frost, you know&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, is it that?’ said Martha, restored to perfect good-humour; ‘poor
-Major Frost! But of course if he did not choose to come forward in time,
-he could not expect me to wait for him. You may make your mind quite
-easy if that is all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And then,’ I said, taking a little courage, ‘Captain Llewellyn paid
-Nelly a good deal of attention. He might have thought&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ said Martha, ‘to be sure; and I never once suspected that he
-meant it for me all the time.’</p>
-
-<p>I ask anybody who is competent to judge, could I have said any more? I
-walked to the post-office with her, and I saw the letter put in. And an
-hour afterwards I saw the mail-cart rattling past with the bags, and
-knew it had set out to its destination. He would get it next morning,
-and the two lives would be bound for ever and ever. The wrong two?&mdash;or
-was it only we, Nelly and I, who had made the mistake? Had it been
-Martha he sought all the time?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11"></a>{11}</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> news soon became known to everybody on the Green, and great surprise
-was excited by it. Everybody, I think, spoke to me on the subject. They
-said, ‘If it had been the other sister!’ Even Lady Denzil went so far as
-to say this, when, after having called at the Admiral’s to offer her
-congratulations, she came in to see me. ‘I do not pretend that I like
-the marriage,’ she said, with a little solemnity. ‘There were claims
-upon him nearer home. It is not every man that is at liberty to choose
-for himself; but if it had been the little one I could have understood
-it.’ I hope nobody spoke like this to Nelly; she kept up a great deal
-too well to satisfy me. She was in the very centre of all the flutter
-that such an event makes in a small society like ours, and she knew
-people were watching her; but she never betrayed herself. She had lost
-her colour somehow&mdash;everybody remarked that; and the proud little girl
-got up a succession of maladies, and said she had influenza and
-indigestion, and I know not what, that nobody might suspect any other
-cause. Sometimes I caught her for one instant off her guard, but it was
-a thing that happened very rarely. Two or three times I met her going
-off by herself for a long walk, and she would not have my company when I
-offered to go with her. ‘I walk so fast,’ she said, ‘and then it is too
-far for you.’ Once I even saw her in the spot to which all our walks
-tended&mdash;the Dingle, which was our favourite haunt. It was a glorious
-autumn, and the fine weather lasted long&mdash;much longer than usual. Up to
-the middle of November there were still masses of gorgeous foliage on
-the trees, and the sky was as blue&mdash;not as Italy, for Italy is soft and
-languorous and melting&mdash;but as an English sky without clouds, full of
-sunshine, yet clear, with a premonitory touch of frost, can be. The
-trees in the Dingle are no common trees; they are giant beeches,
-big-boled, heavily-clothed giants, that redden and crisp and hold their
-own until the latest moment; and that mount up upon heights, and descend
-into hollows, and open up here and there into gleams of the fair plain
-around, growing misty in the distance as if it were sea. The great point
-in the landscape is a royal castle, the noblest dwelling-place I ever
-saw. We who live so near are learned in the different points of view; we
-know where to catch it shining like a fairy stronghold in the white hazy
-country, or stretching out in gray profile upon its height, or setting
-itself&mdash;here the great donjon, there a flanking tower&mdash;in frames of
-leafy branches. I had left my little carriage and my stout old pony on
-the road, and had wandered up alone to have my last peep before winter
-set in, when suddenly I saw Nelly before me. She was walking up and down
-on the soft yielding mossy grass, carpeted with beech-mast and
-pine-needles;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12"></a>{12}</span> sometimes stopping to gaze blankly at the view&mdash;at the
-great plain whitening off to the horizon, and the castle rising in the
-midst. I knew what the view was, but I saw also that she did not see it.
-Her face was all drawn together, small and shrunken up. There were deep
-shadowy lines round her eyes; and as for the eyes themselves, it was
-them and not Nelly that I saw. They were dilated, almost exaggerated,
-unlike anything I ever saw before. She had come out here to be alone,
-poor child! I crept away as best I could through the brown crackling
-ferns. If she heard anything probably she thought it was some woodland
-creature that could not spy upon her. But I don’t believe she heard
-anything, nor saw anything; and I was no spy upon her, dear heart!</p>
-
-<p>The nearest we ever came to conversation on the subject was once when I
-was telling her about a girl I once knew, whose story had been a very
-sad one. She had pledged her heart and her life to a foolish young
-fellow, who was very fond of her, and then was very fond of somebody
-else; and would have been fond of her again, periodically, to any number
-of times. She had borne it as long as she could, and then she had broken
-down; and it had been a relief to her, poor girl, to come and cry her
-heart out to me.</p>
-
-<p>‘It has never been my way, Nelly,’ I said, ‘but it seems to ease the
-heart when it can speak. I don’t think that I could have spoken to any
-one, had it been me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And as for me,’ cried Nelly, ‘if I should ever be like that&mdash;and if any
-one, even you, were so much as to look at me as if you knew, I think I
-should die!’</p>
-
-<p>This was before the lamp was lighted; and in the dark, I think she put
-up a hand to wipe off something from her eyelash. But you may be sure I
-took care not to look. I tried to put all speculation out of my eyes
-whenever I looked at her afterwards. My poor Nelly! in the very
-extravagance of her pride was there not an appeal, and piteous throwing
-of herself upon my forbearance? I thought there was, and it went to my
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>The next thing, of course, was that Llewellyn announced himself as
-coming to visit his betrothed. He was to come at Christmas, not being
-able to leave his ship before. And then it was to be settled when the
-marriage should take place. I confess that I listened to all this with a
-very bad grace. Any reference to the marriage put me out of temper. He
-wrote to her regularly and very often, and Martha used to read his
-letters complacently before us all, and communicate little bits out of
-them, and spend half her mornings writing her replies. She was not a
-ready writer, and it really was hard work to her, and improved her
-education&mdash;at least in the mechanical matters of writing and spelling.
-But I wonder what sort of rubbish it was she wrote to him, and what he
-thought of it. Was it possible he could suppose it was my Nelly who
-wrote all those commonplaces, or was the mistake on my part, not on his?
-As time<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13"></a>{13}</span> went on, I came to think, more and more, that the latter was
-the case. We had been deceived, Nelly and I. And Martha and Llewellyn
-were two lovers worthy of each other. I fear I was not very charitable
-to him in my thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>But I could not help being very nervous the day of his arrival. It was a
-bleak wintry day, Christmas Eve, but not what people call Christmas
-weather. It rarely is Christmas weather at Christmas. The sky hung low
-and leaden over our bare trees, and of course there were no cricketers
-now on the Green, nor sound of croquet balls, to enliven the stillness.
-I could not rest at home. We had not been informed what train Captain
-Llewellyn was to come by, and my mind was in such a disturbed state,
-that I kept coming and going, all day long, on one errand or another,
-lingering about the road. I don’t myself know what I meant by it; nor
-could I have explained it to anybody. Sometimes I thought, if I should
-meet him first, I would speak and make sure. Sometimes I fancied that I
-could read in his face, at the first look, what it all meant. But,
-anyhow, I did not meet him. I thought all the trains were in when I went
-to the Admiral’s in the afternoon, at five o’clock&mdash;that is, all the
-trains that could arrive before dinner, for we were two miles from the
-station. Martha and her father were in the drawing-room when I entered.
-There was a bright fire, but the candles were not lighted; I suppose,
-out of reluctance to shut up the house, and close all the windows,
-before the visitor came. Martha was sitting by the fire looking very gay
-and bright, and a little excited. She told me Nelly had been all day in
-the church, helping with the decorations, and that she was to stay at
-the rectory to dinner, as there was a Christmas-tree for the
-school-children to be got ready. ‘I dare say she thought we should not
-want her this first evening,’ Martha said with a little laugh; and such
-was the bitterness and unreasonableness of my heart that I was
-speechless with exasperation; which was nonsense, for of course she had
-a right to the society of her betrothed. While we were sitting thus over
-the fire, all at once there came a sound of wheels, and the dog-cart
-from the little inn at Dinglefield Station came rattling up. Martha gave
-a little cry, and ran to the drawing-room door. I know I should have
-gone away, but I did not. I stood behind in the ruddy gloom, and saw her
-rush into Llewellyn’s arms. And he kissed her. And the next moment they
-were back in the room beside us, she chatting about his journey, and
-looking up in his face, and showing her satisfaction and delight, as it
-was quite natural she should do. It seemed to me that he did not make
-very much reply; but the room was dark, and his arrival was sudden, and
-there was a certain confusion about everything. The Admiral came
-forward, and shook hands with him, and so did I; and instead of looking
-as if he wished us a hundred miles off, Llewellyn kept peering into the
-corners, as if he wanted another greeting. Then he came to the fire, and
-stood before it, making<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14"></a>{14}</span> the room all the darker with his shadow; and
-after we had all asked him if he had felt the cold on his journey, there
-did not seem very much to say. I don’t know how the others felt, but I
-know my heart began to beat wildly. Martha was in an unnatural state of
-excitement. She drew a great comfortable easy-chair to the fire for him.
-‘Dear Ellis, sit down,’ she said, laying her hand softly on his arm. The
-touch seemed to wake him up out of a kind of reverie. He took her hand,
-and held it for a moment, and then let it fall.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are far too kind,’ he said, ‘to take so much trouble for me. A
-thousand thanks. Where is&mdash;your sister? She knew I was to come by this
-train.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I don’t think Sister knew,’ said Martha; ‘that was my little
-secret. I would not tell them what train you were coming by. She is
-helping with the church decorations. She will see you to-morrow, you
-know. I wish they would bring the tea: papa, will you ring?&mdash;Oh, papa
-has gone away. Wait a minute, Ellis dear, and I will run and make them
-bring it immediately. It will warm you better than anything else. I
-sha’n’t be a moment gone.’</p>
-
-<p>The moment she had left us poor Llewellyn turned to me. Notwithstanding
-the ruddy firelight, I could see he was quite haggard with the awful
-suspicion that must have flashed upon him. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave!’ he cried
-hurriedly, holding out his hands, ‘for God’s sake, tell me, what does
-this mean?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It means that you have come to see your betrothed, Captain Llewellyn,’
-said I; ‘she has just gone out of the room. You made your choice, and I
-hope you did not expect to have both the sisters. Martha stayed to
-receive you, as was right and natural. You could not expect the same
-from Nelly. She thought neither of you would want a third to-night.’</p>
-
-<p>I was so angry that I said all this in a breath. I know I ought to be
-ashamed of myself, but I did it; I don’t think however that he heard
-half. He covered his face with his hands and gave a groan, which seemed
-to me to echo all through the house; and I had to add on to what I was
-saying, ‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, restrain yourself,’ I cried, without
-even taking breath; ‘now it is too late!’</p>
-
-<p>And then Martha came in, excited and joyous, half dancing with high
-spirits. I could have groaned too and hid my face from the light as he
-did, poor fellow! but she went up to him and drew down his hands
-playfully and said, ‘I am here, Ellis, you needn’t cover your eyes.’ He
-did not answer her with a compliment or a caress, as perhaps she
-expected; and Martha looked at me where I was standing by the side of
-the fire. I knew she thought I was the restraining influence that closed
-his mouth and subdued his joy&mdash;and what could I do?&mdash;I went away: I
-could be of no use to him, poor boy! He must face it now as best he
-could. I went away, and as soon as I got safely into my own house sat
-down and cried. Not that crying would do<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15"></a>{15}</span> any good; but when everything
-is going wrong, and everybody is on the way to ruin and you see how it
-is, and know how to mend it, and yet cannot, dare not, put forth a hand,
-what can any one do but sit down and cry?</p>
-
-<p>But I could not rest in my quiet, comfortable, lonely house, and know
-that those poor young hearts were being wrung, and keep still and take
-no notice. I had my cup of tea, and I put on my warm cloak and hood and
-went across the Green, though it was wet and slippery, to the
-school-room, where I knew Nelly would be. She was in the midst of a heap
-of toys and paper-flags and little tapers, dressing up the
-Christmas-tree. There were three or four girls altogether, and Nelly was
-the busiest of all. Her little hands were pricked and scratched with the
-points of the holly and the sharp needles of the little fir-tree on
-which she was working. Poor child! I wish it had been her hands only
-that were wounded. The others had gloves on, but Nelly had taken hers
-off, either because she found the pain of the pricks good for her, or
-because of some emblematical meaning in it. ‘I can’t work in gloves,’
-she said carelessly, ‘and it doesn’t hurt so much when you are used to
-it.’ When I saw her I could not but think of the pictures of Indians
-tied to the stake, with arrows flying at them from all quarters. I am
-aware St. Sebastian was killed in the same way&mdash;but I did not think of
-him.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish you would come with me, Nelly,’ I said; ‘you know Christmas Eve
-is never very merry to me. There is no dinner, but you shall have
-something with your tea.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am going to the rectory,’ said Nelly. She did not venture to look at
-me, and she spoke very quick, with a kind of catch in her breath. ‘I
-promised&mdash;and there is a great deal to do yet. When Christmas is not
-merry it is best to try and forget it is Christmas. If I were to go with
-you, you would talk to me, and that would make you feel everything the
-more.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I would not talk&mdash;you may trust me, Nelly,’ I said eagerly. In my
-excitement I was for one minute off my guard.</p>
-
-<p>She gave me one look and then turned away, and began arranging the flags
-and pricking her poor little soft fingers. ‘Talking does not matter to
-me,’ she said in her careless way. Her pride was something that filled
-me with consternation. She would not yield, not if she had been cut in
-little pieces. Her heart was being torn out of her very breast, and she
-was ready to look her executioners in the face and cheer them on.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know how they all got through that evening. Nelly, I know, went
-home late and went to her own room at once, as being tired. It was poor
-Llewellyn that was the most to be pitied. I could not get him out of my
-mind. I sat and thought and thought over it till I could scarcely rest.
-Would he have the courage to emancipate himself and tell the truth? Or
-would the dreadful coil of circumstances in which he had got involved
-overcome him and subdue his spirit? I asked myself this question till it
-made me sick and faint. How was he to turn upon the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16"></a>{16}</span> girl who was
-hanging on him so proud and pleased and confident, and say that he had
-never cared for her and never sought her? There are men who would have
-the nerve to do that; but my poor simple, tender-hearted sailor&mdash;who
-would not hurt a fly, and who had no warning nor preparation for the
-fate that was coming on him&mdash;I could not hope that he would be so brave.</p>
-
-<p>I saw by my first glance next morning at church that he had not been
-brave. He was seated by Martha’s side, looking pale and haggard and
-stern; such a contrast to her lively and demonstrative happiness. Nelly
-was at the other end of the pew under her father’s shadow. I don’t know
-what she had done to herself&mdash;either it was excitement, or in her pride
-she had had recourse to artificial aids. She had recovered her colour as
-if by a miracle. I am afraid that I did not pay so much attention to the
-service as I ought to have done. My whole thoughts were bent upon the
-Admiral’s seat, where there were two people quite serene and
-comfortable, and two in the depths of misery and despair. There were
-moments when I felt as if I could have got up in church and protested
-against it in the sight of God. One feels as if one could do that: but
-one keeps still and does nothing all the same.</p>
-
-<p>In the afternoon Llewellyn came to see me. He would have done it anyhow,
-I feel sure, for he had a good heart. But there was a stronger reason
-still that Christmas Day. He did not say much to me when he came. He
-walked about my drawing-room and looked at all the ornaments on the
-tables, and opened the books, and examined my Christmas presents. Then
-he came and sat down beside me before the fire. He tried to talk, and
-then he broke off and leant his face between his hands. It was again a
-gray, dark, sunless day; and it was all the darker in my room because of
-the verandah over the windows, which makes it so pleasant in summer. I
-could see his profile darkly before me as he made an attempt at
-conversation, not looking at me, but staring into the fire; and then,
-all at once, his shoulders went up, and his face disappeared in the
-shadow of his hands. He stared into the fire still, under that shelter;
-but he felt himself safe from my inspection, poor fellow!</p>
-
-<p>‘I ought to beg your pardon,’ he said, suddenly, concentrating all his
-attention upon the glowing embers, ‘for speaking as I did&mdash;last
-night&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘There was nothing to pardon,’ said I. And then we came to an
-embarrassed pause, for I did not know which was best&mdash;to speak, or to be
-silent.</p>
-
-<p>‘I know I was very abrupt,’ he said, ‘I was rude. I hope you will
-forgive me. It was the surprise.’ And then he gave vent to something
-between a cry and a groan. ‘What is to become of us all, good God!’ he
-muttered. It was all I could do to hear him, and the exclamation did not
-sound to me profane.</p>
-
-<p>‘Captain Llewellyn,’ I said, ‘I don’t know whether I ought<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17"></a>{17}</span> to say
-anything, or whether I should hold my tongue. I understand it all; and I
-feel for you with all my heart.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said; ‘it doesn’t matter. Feeling is of no use.
-But there is one thing you could tell me. She&mdash;you know&mdash;I can’t call
-her by any name&mdash;I don’t seem to know her name&mdash;Just tell me one thing,
-and I’ll try and bear it. Did she mind? Does she think me&mdash;&mdash;? Good
-heavens! what does it matter what any one thinks? If you are sure it did
-not hurt her, I&mdash;don’t mind.’</p>
-
-<p>‘N&mdash;no,’ said I; but I don’t think he got any comfort from my tone. ‘You
-may be sure it will not hurt her,’ I went on, summoning up all my pride.
-‘She is not the sort of girl to let it hurt her.’ I spoke indignantly,
-for I did not know what was coming. He seized my hand, poor boy, and
-wrung it till I could have screamed; and then he broke down, as a man
-does when he has come to the last point of wretchedness: two or three
-hoarse sobs burst from him. ‘God bless her!’ he cried.</p>
-
-<p>I was wound up to such a pitch that I could not sit still. I got up and
-grasped his shoulder. In my excitement I did not know what I was doing.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you going to bear it?’ I said. ‘Do you mean to let it go on? It is
-a lie; and are you going to set it up for the truth? Oh, Captain
-Llewellyn! is it possible that you mean to let it go on?’</p>
-
-<p>Then he gave me one sorrowful look, and shook his head. ‘I have accepted
-it,’ he said. ‘It is too late. You said so last night.’</p>
-
-<p>I knew I had said so; but things somehow looked different now. ‘I would
-speak to Martha herself,’ said I. And I saw he shuddered at her name. ‘I
-would speak to her father. The Admiral is sensible and kind. He will
-know what to do.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He will think I mean to insult them,’ said Llewellyn, shaking his head.
-‘I have done harm enough. How was I to know? But never mind&mdash;never mind.
-It is my own doing, and I must bear it.’ Then he rose up suddenly, and
-turned to me with a wan kind of smile. ‘I cannot afford to indulge
-myself with talk,’ he said. ‘Good-bye, and thanks. I don’t feel as if I
-cared much now what happened. The only thing is, I can’t stay here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you must stay a week&mdash;you must stay over Christmas,’ I cried, as he
-stood holding my hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ he said with a sigh. ‘I must get through to-night. If you’d keep
-her out of the way, Mrs. Mulgrave, it would be the kindest thing you
-could do. I can’t look at her. It kills me. But I’ll be summoned by
-telegram to-morrow,’ he added, with a kind of desperate satisfaction. ‘I
-wrote this morning.’ And then he shook hands with me hurriedly, and went
-away.</p>
-
-<p>I had very little trouble to keep Nelly&mdash;poor Nelly!&mdash;out of his way.
-She made me go up-stairs with her after dinner (I always dined there on
-Christmas) to show me the presents she had got, and the things she had
-prepared for her pensioners in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18"></a>{18}</span> the village. We made a great pet of the
-village, we people who lived on the Green, and, I fear, rather spoiled
-it. There were things for the babies, and things for the old women,
-which were to be bestowed next day when they all came to the school-room
-for the Christmas-tree. She never mentioned Llewellyn to me, nor Martha,
-nor referred to the domestic event which, in other circumstances, would
-have occupied her mind above all. I almost wonder it did not occur to
-her that to speak of, and show an interest in, her sister’s engagement
-was quite a necessary part of her own self-defence. Either it was too
-much, and she could not, or it did not enter into her mind. She never
-took any notice of it, at least to me. She never so much as mentioned
-his name. They never looked at each other, nor addressed each other,
-though I could see that every look and movement of one was visible to
-the other. Nelly kept me up-stairs until it was time for me to go home.
-She came running out with me, with her red cloak round her, when the
-Admiral marched to the gate to see me home, as he made a rule of doing.
-She stood at the gate, in the foggy, wintry darkness, to wait for him
-until he came back from my door. And I waited on my own threshold, and
-saw them going back&mdash;Nelly, poor child, clinging fast to her father’s
-arm. My heart ached; and yet not so much even for her as for the other.
-What was he doing indoors, left alone with the girl he was engaged to,
-and did not love?</p>
-
-<p>Next morning, to the astonishment and dismay of everybody but myself,
-Captain Llewellyn was summoned back to his ship by telegraph. Martha was
-more excited about it than I should have supposed possible. It was so
-hard upon poor dear Ellis, she said, before they had been able to
-arrange anything, or even to talk of anything. She had not the slightest
-doubt of him. His wretched looks, and his hesitation and coldness, had
-taught nothing to Martha. If she was perhaps disappointed at first by
-his want of ardour, the disappointment had soon passed. It was his way;
-he was not the sort of man to make a fuss. By this means she quite
-accounted for it to herself. For my own part, I cannot say that I was
-satisfied with his conduct. If he had put a stop to it boldly&mdash;if he had
-said at once it was all a mistake&mdash;then, whatever had come of it, I
-could have supported and sympathized with him; but it made an end of
-Captain Llewellyn, as a man, in my estimation, when he thus ran away. I
-was vexed, and I was sorry; and yet I cannot say I was surprised.</p>
-
-<p>He wrote afterwards to say it was important business, and that he had no
-hope of being able to come back. And then he wrote that he had been
-transferred to another ship just put into commission, and had to sail at
-once. He could not even come to wish his betrothed good-bye. He assured
-her it could not be for long, as their orders were only for the
-Mediterranean; but it was a curious reversal of all their former ideas.
-‘He<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19"></a>{19}</span> must retire,’ Martha said, when she had told me this news with
-tears. ‘The idea of a man with a good property of his own being ordered
-about like that! Papa says things have changed since his days; he never
-heard of anything so arbitrary. After all he said about our marriage
-taking place first, to think that he should have to go away now, without
-a moment to say good-bye!’</p>
-
-<p>And she cried and dried her eyes, while I sat by and felt myself a
-conspirator, and was very uncomfortable. Nelly was present too. She sat
-working in the window, with her head turned away from us, and took no
-part in the conversation. Perhaps it was a relief; perhaps&mdash;and this was
-what she herself thought&mdash;it would have been better to have got it over
-at once. Anyhow, at this present juncture, she sat apart, and took no
-apparent notice of what we said.</p>
-
-<p>‘And Nelly never says a word,’ sobbed Martha. ‘She has no sympathy. I
-think she hates poor dear Ellis. She scarcely looked at him when he was
-here. And she won’t say she is sorry now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘When everybody is sorry what does it matter if I say it or not?’ said
-Nelly, casting one rapid glance from her work. She never was so fond of
-her work before. Now she had become all at once a model girl: she never
-was idle for a moment; one kind of occupation or another was constantly
-in her hands. She sat at her knitting, while Martha, disappointed and
-vexed, cried and folded up her letter. I don’t know whether an inkling
-of the truth had come to Nelly’s mind. Sometimes I thought so. When the
-time approached which Llewellyn had indicated as the probable period of
-his return, she herself proposed that she should go on a visit to her
-godmother in Devonshire. It was spring then, and she had a cough; and
-there were very good reasons why she should go. The only one that
-opposed it was Martha. ‘It will look so unkind to dear Ellis,’ she said;
-‘as if you would rather not meet him. At Christmas you were out all the
-time. And if she dislikes him, Mrs. Mulgrave, she ought to try to get
-over it. Don’t you think so? It is unkind to go away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She does not dislike him,’ said I. ‘But she wants a change, my dear.’
-And so we all said. The Admiral, good man, did not understand it at all.
-He saw that something was wrong. ‘There is something on the little one’s
-mind,’ he said to me. ‘I hoped she would have taken you into her
-confidence. I can’t tell what is wrong with her, for my part.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She wants a change,’ said I. ‘She has never said anything to me.’</p>
-
-<p>It was quite true; she had never said a word to me. I might have
-betrayed Llewellyn, but I could not betray Nelly. She had kept her own
-counsel. While the Admiral was talking to me, I cannot describe how
-strong the temptation was upon me to tell him all the story. But I dared
-not. It was a thing from which the boldest might have shrunk. And though
-everybody<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20"></a>{20}</span> on the Green had begun to wonder vaguely, and the Admiral
-himself was a little uneasy, Martha never suspected anything amiss. She
-cried a little when ‘poor Ellis’ wrote to say his return was again
-postponed; but it was for his disappointment she cried. Half an hour
-after she was quite serene and cheerful again, looking forward to the
-time when he should arrive eventually. ‘For he must come some time, you
-know; they can’t keep him away for ever,’ she said; until one did not
-know whether to be impatient with her serenity, or touched by it, and
-could not make up one’s mind whether it was stupidity or faith.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Nelly</span> paid her visit to her godmother, and came back; and spring wore
-into summer, and the trees were all in full foliage again in the Dingle,
-and the cricketers had returned to the Green; but still Captain
-Llewellyn was unaccountably detained. Nelly had come home looking much
-better than when she went away. His name still disturbed her composure I
-could see; though I don’t suppose a stranger who knew nothing of the
-circumstances would have found it out. And when Martha threatened us
-with a visit from him, her sister shrank up into herself; but otherwise
-Nelly was much improved. She recovered her cheerful ways; she became the
-soul of all our friendly parties again. I said to myself that I had been
-a truer prophet than I had the least hope of; and that she was not the
-sort of girl to let herself be crushed in any such way. But she never
-spoke to me of her sister’s marriage, nor of her sister’s betrothed. I
-mentioned the matter one day when we were alone, cruelly and of set
-purpose to see what she would say. ‘When your sister is married, and
-when you are married,’ I said, ‘it will be very dull both for the
-Admiral and me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall never marry,’ said Nelly, with a sudden closing up and veiling
-of all her brightness which was more expressive than words. ‘I don’t
-know about Sister; but you need not weave any such visions for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘All girls say so till their time comes,’ said I, with an attempt to be
-playful; ‘but why do you say you don’t know about Martha? she must be
-married before long, of course?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I suppose so,’ said Nelly, and then she stopped short; she would not
-add another word; but afterwards, when we were all together, she broke
-out suddenly&mdash;Martha’s conversation at this period was very much
-occupied with her marriage. I suppose it was quite natural. In my young
-days girls were shy of talking much on that subject, but things are
-changed now. Martha talked of it continually: of when dear Ellis would
-come; of his probable desire that the wedding should take place at once;
-of her determination to have two months at least to prepare her
-trousseau; of where they should go after the marriage. She<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21"></a>{21}</span> discussed
-everything, without the smallest idea, poor girl, of what was passing in
-the minds of the listeners. At last, after hearing a great deal of this
-for a long time, Nelly suddenly burst forth&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘How strange it would be after all, if we were to turn out a couple of
-old maids,’ she cried, ‘and never to marry at all. The two old sisters!
-with chairs on each side of the fire, and great authorities in the
-village. How droll it would be!&mdash;and not so very unlikely after all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Speak for yourself,’ cried Martha indignantly. ‘It is very unlikely so
-far as I am concerned. I am as good as married already. As for you, you
-can do what you please&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I can do what I please,’ said Nelly, with a curious ring in her
-voice; and then she added, ‘But I should not wonder if we were both old
-maids after all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She is very queer,’ Martha said to me when her sister had left the
-room, in an aggrieved tone. ‘She does not mean it, of course; but I
-don’t like it, Mrs. Mulgrave. It does not seem lucky. Why should she
-take it into her head about our being old maids? I am as good as married
-now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said vaguely. I could not give any assent more cordial. And
-then she resumed her anticipations. But I saw in a moment what Nelly
-meant. This was how she thought it was to end. It was a romantic girl’s
-notion, but happily she was too young to think how unlikely it was. No
-doubt she saw a vision of the two maiden sisters, and of one who would
-be their devoted friend, but who could never marry either. That was the
-explanation she had put in her heart upon his abrupt departure and his
-many delays. He had made a fatal mistake, and its consequences were to
-last all his life. They were all three, all their lives long, to
-continue in the same mind. He could never marry either of them; and
-neither of them, none of the three, were ever to be tempted to marry
-another. And thus, in a pathetic climax of faithfulness and delicate
-self-sacrifice, they were to grow old and die. Nelly was no longer
-miserable when she had framed this ideal in her mind. It seemed to her
-the most natural solution of the difficulty. The romance, instead of
-ending in a prosaic marriage, was to last all their lives. And the
-eldest of them, Llewellyn himself, was but seven-and-twenty! Poor Nelly
-thought it the most likely thing in the world.</p>
-
-<p>If she had consulted me, I could have told her of something much more
-likely&mdash;something which very soon dawned upon the minds of most people
-at Dinglefield Green. It was that a certain regiment had come back to
-the barracks which were not very far from our neighbourhood. Before
-Captain Llewellyn made his appearance among us, there had been a Major
-Frost who had ‘paid attention’ to Martha; and he did not seem at all
-disinclined to pay attention to her now that he had come back. Though he
-was told of her engagement, the information seemed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22"></a>{22}</span> to have very little
-effect upon him. He came over perpetually, and was always at hand to
-ride, or walk, or drive, or flirt, as the young ladies felt disposed.
-Before he had been back a fortnight it seemed to me that Martha had
-begun to talk less about dear Ellis. By degrees she came the length of
-confessing that dear Ellis wrote very seldom. I had found out that fact
-for myself, but she had never made any reference to it before. I watched
-her with an interest which surpassed every other interest in my life at
-that moment. I forgot even Nelly, and took no notice of her in
-comparison. The elder sister absorbed me altogether. By degrees she gave
-up talking of her marriage, and of her wedding-dress, and where they
-were to live; and she began to talk of Major Frost. He seemed always to
-be telling her something which she had to repeat; and he told her very
-private details, with which she could have nothing to do. He told her
-that he was much better off than when he was last at the Green. Somebody
-had died and had left him a great deal of money. He was thinking of
-leaving the army, and buying a place in our county, if possible. He
-asked Martha’s advice where he should go. ‘It is odd that he should tell
-you all this,’ I said to her one day, when she was re-confiding to me a
-great many of Major Frost’s personal affairs; and though she was not
-usually very quick of apprehension, something called upon Martha’s cheek
-the shadow of a blush.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think it is quite natural,’ she said; ‘we are such old friends; and
-then he knows I am engaged. I always thought he was very nice&mdash;didn’t
-you? I don’t think he will ever marry,’ Martha added, with a certain
-pathos. ‘He says he could never have married but one woman; and he can’t
-have her now. He was poor when he was last here you know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And who was the woman he could have married?’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, of course I did not ask him,’ said Martha with modest
-consciousness. ‘Poor fellow! it would have been cruel to ask him. It is
-hard that he should have got his money just after I&mdash;&mdash; I mean after she
-was engaged.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is hard that money should always be at the bottom of everything,’
-said I. And though it was the wish nearest to my heart that Martha
-should forget and give up Llewellyn, still I was angry with her for what
-she said. But that made no difference. She was not bright enough to know
-that her faith was wavering. She went on walking and talking with Major
-Frost, and boring us all with him and his confidences, till I, for one,
-was sick of his very name. But she meant no treachery; she never even
-thought of deserting her betrothed. Had any accident happened to bring
-him uppermost, she would have gone back to dear Ellis all the same. She
-was not faithless nor fickle, nor anything that was wicked: she was
-chiefly stupid, or, rather, I stolid. And to think the two were sisters!
-The Admiral was not very quick-sighted, but evidently he had begun to
-notice how things were going. He came to me one afternoon to consult<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23"></a>{23}</span> me
-when both the girls were out. I suppose they were at croquet somewhere.
-We elders found that afternoon hour, when they were busy with the balls
-and mallets, a very handy time for consulting about anything which they
-were not intended to know.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think I ought to write to Llewellyn,’ he said. ‘Things are in a very
-unsatisfactory state. I am not satisfied that he was obliged to go away
-as he said. I think he might have come to see her had he tried. I have
-been consulting the little one about it, and she thinks with me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What does she think?’ I asked with breathless interest, to the
-Admiral’s surprise.</p>
-
-<p>‘She thinks with me that things are in an unsatisfactory state,’ he said
-calmly; ‘that it would be far better to have it settled and over, one
-way or another. She is a very sensible little woman. I was just about to
-write to Llewellyn, but I thought it best to ask you first what your
-opinion was.’</p>
-
-<p>Should I speak and tell him all? Had I any right to tell him? The
-thought passed through my mind quick as lightning. I made a longer pause
-than I ought to have done; and then all I could find to say was:</p>
-
-<p>‘I think I should let things take their course if I were you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What does that mean?’ said the Admiral quickly. ‘Take their course! I
-think it is my duty to write to him and let things be settled out of
-hand.’</p>
-
-<p>It was with this intention he left me. But he did not write, for the
-very next morning there came a letter from Llewellyn, not to Martha, but
-to her father, telling him that he was coming home. The ship had been
-paid off quite unexpectedly I heard afterwards. And I suppose that
-unless he had been courageous enough to give the true explanation of his
-conduct he had no resource but to come back. It was a curious, abrupt
-sort of letter. The young man’s conscience, I think, had pricked him for
-his cowardice in running away; and either he had wound himself up to the
-point of carrying out his engagement in desperation, or else he was
-coming to tell his story and ask for his release. I heard of it
-immediately from the Admiral himself, who was evidently not quite at
-ease in his mind on the subject. And a short time afterwards Martha came
-in, dragging her sister with her, full of the news.</p>
-
-<p>‘I could scarcely get her to come,’ Martha said. ‘I can’t think what she
-always wants running after those village people. And when we have just
-got the news that Ellis is coming home!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I heard,’ said I. ‘I suppose I ought to congratulate you. Do you
-expect him soon? Does he say anything about&mdash;&mdash;?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, his letter was to papa,’ said Martha, interrupting my very
-hesitating and embarrassed speech; for my eyes were on Nelly, and I saw
-in a moment that her whole expression had changed. ‘He could not be
-expected to say anything particular to papa, but I suppose it must be
-very soon. I don’t think he will want to wait now he is free.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24"></a>{24}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘I shall be very glad when it is all over,’ said Nelly, to my great
-surprise. It was the first time I had heard her make any comment on the
-subject. ‘It will make so much fuss and worry. It is very entertaining
-to them, I suppose, but it is rather tiresome to us. Mrs. Mulgrave, I am
-going to see Molly Jackson; I can hear all about the <i>trousseau</i> at
-home, you know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nelly!’ said I, as I kissed her; and I could not restrain a warning
-look. She flushed up, poor child, to her hair, but turned away with a
-sick impatience that went to my heart.</p>
-
-<p>‘If you had the worry of it night and day as I shall have!’ she said
-under her breath, with an impatient sigh. And then she went away.</p>
-
-<p>I knew all that was in her heart as well as if she had told me. She had
-lost her temper and patience as well as her peace of mind. It is hard to
-keep serene under a repeated pressure. She did it the first time, but
-she was not equal to it the second. She had no excuse to go away now.
-She had to look forward to everything, and hear it all discussed, and go
-through it in anticipation. She had to receive him as his future sister;
-to be the witness of everything, always on the spot; a part of the
-bridal pageant, the first and closest spectator. And it was very hard to
-bear. As for Martha, she sat serene in a chair which she had herself
-worked for me, turning her fair countenance to the light. She saw
-nothing strange in Nelly’s temper, nor in anything that happened to her.
-She sat waiting till I had taken my seat again, quite ready to go into
-the question of the <i>trousseau</i>. The sight of her placidity made me
-desperate. Suddenly there came before me the haggard looks of poor
-Llewellyn, and the pale exasperation and heart-sickness of my bright
-little Nelly’s face. And then I looked at Martha, who was sitting,
-serene and cheerful, just in the same spot and the same attitude in
-which, a few days before, she had told me of Major Frost. She had left
-off Major Frost now and come back to her trousseau. What did it matter
-to her which of them it was? As for giving her pain or humiliating her,
-how much or how long would she feel it? I became desperate. I fastened
-the door when I closed it after Nelly that nobody might interrupt us,
-and then I came and sat down opposite to my victim. Martha was utterly
-unconscious still. It never occurred to her to notice how people were
-looking, nor to guess what was in anybody’s mind.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are quite pleased,’ said I, making my first assault very gently,
-‘that Captain Llewellyn is coming home?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Pleased!’ said Martha. ‘Of course I am pleased. What odd people you all
-are! Anybody might see that it is pleasanter to be settled and know what
-one is doing. I wish you would come up to town with me some day, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, and help me with my things.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ said I, ‘in the first place, there is something more
-important than your things; there is Major Frost. What do you mean to do
-with him?’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25"></a>{25}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘I&mdash;with him?’ said Martha, opening her eyes. ‘He always knew I was
-engaged. Of course I am very sorry for him; but if he did not choose to
-come forward in time, he could not expect that one was to wait.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And is that how you mean to leave him,’ said I severely, ‘after all the
-encouragement you have given him? Every day, for a month past, I have
-expected to hear you say that you had made a mistake about Captain
-Llewellyn, and that it was the Major you liked best.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, fancy <i>me</i> doing such a thing!’ cried Martha, really roused, ‘after
-being engaged to Ellis a whole year. If he had come forward at the
-proper time perhaps&mdash;&mdash; But to make a change when everything was
-settled! You never could have believed it of <i>me</i>!’</p>
-
-<p>‘If you like the other better, it is never too late to make a change,’
-said I, carried away by my motive, which was good, and justified a
-little stretch of ethics. ‘You will be doing a dreadful injury to poor
-Captain Llewellyn if you marry him and like another man best.’</p>
-
-<p>Martha looked at me with a little simper of self-satisfaction. ‘I think
-I know my duty,’ she said. ‘I am engaged. I don’t see that anything else
-is of any consequence. Of course the gentleman I am engaged to is the
-one I shall like best.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you mean that you are engaged to him because you like him best?’
-said I. ‘Martha, take care. You may be preparing great bitterness for
-yourself. I have no motive but your good.’ This was not true, but still
-it is a thing that everybody says; and I was so much excited that I had
-to stop to take breath. ‘You may never have it in your power to make a
-choice again,’ I said with solemnity. ‘You ought to pause and think
-seriously which of the two you love. You cannot love them both. It is
-the most serious question you will ever have to settle in your life.’</p>
-
-<p>Martha looked at me with a calm surprise which drove me wild. ‘Dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave,’ she said, ‘I don’t know what you mean. I am engaged to
-Ellis&mdash;and Major Frost has never proposed even. He may have been only
-flirting, for anything I can tell; and how foolish it would be to give
-up the one without any real hold on the other! but of course it is
-nonsense altogether. Why, Ellis is coming back on purpose; and as Major
-Frost did not come forward in time, I don’t see how he can complain.’</p>
-
-<p>All this she said with the most perfect placidity, sitting opposite the
-window, lifting her serene countenance to the light. It was a practical
-concern to Martha. It did not so much matter which it was; but to
-interfere with a thing fully arranged and settled, because of any mere
-question of liking! I was not by a very long way so cool as she was.
-Everything seemed to me to depend upon this last throw, and I felt
-myself suddenly bold to put it to the touch. It was not my business, to
-be sure; but to think of those two young creatures torn asunder and made
-miserable! It was not even Nelly I was thinking of. Nelly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26"></a>{26}</span> would be
-free; she was young; she would not have her heartbreak always kept
-before her, and time would heal her wounds. But poor Llewellyn was bound
-and fettered. He could not escape nor forget. It was for him I made my
-last attempt.</p>
-
-<p>‘Martha, I have something still more serious to say to you,’ I said. ‘Do
-you remember, when you told me of Captain Llewellyn’s proposal first, I
-asked you if it was not a mistake?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I remember very well,’ said Martha. ‘It was just like you. I never
-knew any one who asked such odd questions. I should have been angry had
-it been any one but you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps you will be angry now,’ I said. ‘I know you will be vexed, but
-I can’t help it. Oh, my dear, you must listen to me! It is not only your
-happiness that is concerned, but that of others. Martha, I have every
-reason to think that it was a mistake. Don’t smile; I am in earnest. It
-was a mistake. Can’t you see yourself how little heart he puts into it?
-Martha, my dear, it is no slight to you. You told me you had never
-thought of him before he wrote to you. And it was not you he meant to
-write to. What can I say to convince you? It is true; it is not merely
-my idea. It was all a mistake.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said Martha, a little moved out of her composure, ‘I am
-not angry. I might be; but I am sure you don’t mean it. It is one of the
-fancies you take into your head. How could it be a mistake? It was me he
-wrote to, not anybody else. Of course I was not fond of him before; but
-when a man asks you to marry him, how is it possible there can be any
-mistake?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Martha,’ I said, wringing my hands, ‘let me tell you all; only hear
-me, and don’t be vexed. Did you never notice all that summer how he
-followed Nelly about? Try and remember. He was always by her side;
-wherever we went those two were together. Ask anybody; ask Lady Denzil;
-ask your father. Oh, my dear child, I don’t want to hurt your feelings!
-I want to save you from something you will be very sorry for. I want you
-to be happy. Can’t you see what I mean without any more explanations
-from me?’</p>
-
-<p>Martha had, notwithstanding her composure, grown pale. Her placid looks
-had changed a little. ‘I see it is something about Sister,’ she said.
-‘Because you like her best, you think everybody else must like her best
-too. I wonder why it is that you are so unkind to me!’</p>
-
-<p>As she spoke she cried a little, and turned her shoulder towards me,
-instead of her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not unkind,’ I said, ‘oh, not unkind; I am speaking only because I love
-you all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You have never loved <i>me</i>,’ said Martha, weeping freely; ‘never, though
-I have been so fond of you. And now you want to make me ridiculous and
-miserable. How can I tell what you mean? What has Sister to do with it?
-Ellis was civil to her for&mdash;for my sake. It was me he proposed to. How
-can I tell what you are all plotting in your hearts? When people write<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27"></a>{27}</span>
-letters to me, and ask me to marry them, am I not to believe what they
-say?’</p>
-
-<p>‘When he wrote, he thought Nelly was the eldest,’ I said. ‘You know what
-I have always told you about your names. He wrote to her, and it came to
-you. Martha, believe me, it is not one of my fancies; it is true.’</p>
-
-<p>‘How do you know it is true?’ she cried, with a natural outburst of
-anger and indignation. ‘How do you dare to come and say all this now?
-Insulting Ellis, and Sister, and me! Oh, I wish I had never known you! I
-wish I had never, never come into this house! I wish&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>Her voice died away in a storm of sobs and tears. She cried like a
-child&mdash;as a baby cries, violently, with temper, and not with grief. She
-was not capable of Nelly’s suppressed passion and misery; neither did
-the blow strike deep enough for that; and she had no pride to restrain
-her. She cried noisily, turning her shoulder to me, making her eyes red
-and her cheeks blurred. When I got up and went to her, she repulsed me;
-I had nothing to do but sit down again, and wait till the passion had
-worn itself out. And there she sat sobbing, crushing her pretty hat, and
-disfiguring her pretty face, with the bright light falling upon her, and
-revealing every heave of her shoulders. By degrees the paroxysm
-subsided; she dried her eyes, poor child, and put up her hair, which had
-got into disorder, with hasty and agitated hands. Then she turned her
-flushed, tear-stained face upon me. It was almost prettier than usual in
-this childish passion.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t believe you!’ she cried. ‘I don’t believe it one bit! You only
-want to vex me. Oh, I wish I had never known you. I wish I might never
-see you again&mdash;you, and&mdash;all the rest! I wish I were dead! But I shall
-tell papa, Mrs. Mulgrave, and I know what he will think of you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Martha, I am very sorry&mdash;&mdash;’ I began, but Martha had rushed to the
-door.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t want to hear any more!’ she said. ‘I know everything you can
-say. You are fond of Sister, and want her to have everything. And you
-always hated me!’</p>
-
-<p>With these words she rushed out, shutting not only the door of the room
-behind her in her wrath, but the door of the house, which stood always
-open. She left me, I avow, in a state of very great agitation. I had not
-expected her to take it in this way. And it had been a great strain upon
-my nerves to speak at all. I trembled all over, and as soon as she was
-gone I cried too, from mere nervousness and agitation, not to speak of
-the terrible thought that weighed on my mind&mdash;had I done harm or good?
-What would the others say if they knew? Would they bless or curse me?
-Had I interfered out of season? Had I been officious? Heaven knows! The
-result only could show.</p>
-
-<p>Most people know what a strange feeling it is when one has thus
-estranged, or parted in anger from, a daily and intimate companion; how
-one sits in a vague fever of excitement,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28"></a>{28}</span> thinking it over&mdash;wondering
-what else one could have said; wondering if the offended friend will
-come or send, or give any sign of reconciliation; wondering what one
-ought to do. I was so shaken by it altogether that I was good for
-nothing but lying down on the sofa. When my maid came to look for me,
-she was utterly dismayed by my appearance. ‘Them young ladies are too
-much for you, ma’am,’ she said indignantly. ‘It’s as bad as daughters of
-your own.’ I think that little speech was the last touch that was wanted
-to make me break down. As bad as daughters of my own! but not as good;
-very different. When I thought how those girls would cling round their
-father, it was more than I could bear. Not that I envied him. But I was
-ready to do more for them than he was; to risk their very love in order
-to serve them; and how different was their affection for me!</p>
-
-<p>All day long I stayed indoors, recovering slowly, but feeling very
-miserable. Nobody came near me. The girls, who were generally flitting
-out and in twenty times in a day, never appeared again. The very door
-which Martha shut in her passion remained closed all day. When it came
-to be evening, I could bear it no longer; I could not let the sun go
-down upon such a quarrel; I was so lonely I could not afford to be
-proud. I drew my shawl round me, though I was still trembling, and went
-softly in at the Admiral’s gate. It was dusk, and everything was very
-sweet. It had been a lovely autumn day, very warm for the season, and
-the twilight lingered as if it were loth to make an end. I thought the
-girls would probably be in the drawing-room by themselves, and that I
-might invent some excuse for sending Nelly away, and try to make my
-peace with her sister. I did not love Martha as I loved Nelly, but I was
-fond of her all the same, as one is fond of a girl one has seen grow up,
-and watched over from day to day; and I could not bear that she should
-be estranged from me. When I went in however Nelly was all alone. She
-was sitting in a low chair by the fire, for they always had a fire
-earlier than other people. She was sitting over it with her face resting
-in her hands, almost crouching towards the friendly blaze. And yet it
-was a warm evening, very warm for the time of the year. She started when
-she heard my step, and turned round and for the moment I saw that I was
-not welcome to Nelly either. Her thoughts had been better company: or
-was it possible that Martha could have told her? I did not think however
-that this could be the case, when she drew forward my favourite chair
-for me, and we began to talk. Nelly had not passed through any crisis
-such as that which Martha and I had made for ourselves. She told me her
-sister had a headache, and had been lying down before dinner, but that
-now she had gone out for a little air.</p>
-
-<p>‘Only in the garden,’ Nelly said. And then she added, ‘Major Frost is
-here. He is with her&mdash;and I don’t think he ought to come so
-often&mdash;now&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Major Frost!’ I said, and my heart began to beat; I don’t<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29"></a>{29}</span> know what I
-feared or hoped, for at this moment the Admiral came in from the
-dining-room, and joined us, and we got into ordinary conversation. What
-a strange thing ordinary conversation is! We sat in the dark, with only
-the firelight making rosy gleams about the room, and wavering in the
-great mirror over the mantelpiece, where we were all dimly
-reflected&mdash;and talked about every sort of indifferent subject. But I
-wonder if Nelly was thinking of what she was saying? or if her heart was
-away, like mine, hovering over the heads of these two in the garden, or
-with poor Llewellyn, who was creeping home an unwilling bridegroom? Even
-the Admiral, I believe, had something on his mind different from all our
-chit-chat. For my own part I sat well back in my corner, with my heart
-thumping so against my breast that it affected my breathing. I had to
-speak in gasps, making up the shortest sentences I could think of. And
-we talked about public affairs, and what was likely to be the result of
-the new measures; and the Admiral, who was a man of the old school,
-shook his head, and declared I was a great deal too much of an optimist,
-and thought more hopefully than reasonably of the national affairs.
-Heaven help me! I was thinking of nothing at that moment but of Martha
-and Major Frost.</p>
-
-<p>Then there was a little stir outside in the hall. The firelight, and the
-darkness, and the suspense, and my own feelings generally, recalled to
-my mind so strongly the evening on which Llewellyn arrived, that I
-should not have been surprised had he walked in, when the door opened.
-But it was only Martha who came in. The firelight caught her as she
-entered, and showed me for one brief moment a different creature from
-the Martha I had parted with that morning in sobs and storms. I don’t
-know what she wore; but I know that she was more elaborately dressed
-than usual, and had sparkling ornaments about her, which caught the
-light. I almost think, though I never could be sure, that it was her
-poor mother’s diamond brooch which she had put on, though they were
-alone. She came in lightly, with something of the triumphant air I had
-noticed in her a year ago, before Captain Llewellyn’s Christmas visit.
-It was evident at all events that my remonstrance had not broken her
-spirit. I could see her give a little glance to my corner, and I know
-that she saw I was there.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you here, papa?’ she said. ‘You always sit, like crows, in the
-dark, and nobody can see you.’ Then she drew a chair into the circle.
-She took no notice of me or any one, but placed herself directly in the
-light of the fire.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, my dear,’ said her father. ‘I am glad you have come in. It begins
-to get cold.’</p>
-
-<p>‘We did not feel it cold,’ said Martha, and then she laughed&mdash;a short
-little disconnected laugh, which indicated some disturbance of her calm;
-then she went on, with a tendency to short and broken sentences, like
-myself&mdash;‘Papa,’ she said, ‘I may as well tell you at once. When the
-Major was here last he was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30"></a>{30}</span> poor, and could not speak&mdash;now he’s well
-off. And he wants me to marry him. I like him better than&mdash;Ellis
-Llewellyn. I always&mdash;liked him better&mdash;and he loves <i>me</i>!’</p>
-
-<p>Upon which Martha burst into tears.</p>
-
-<p>If I were to try to describe the consternation produced by this
-unlooked-for speech, I should only prolong my story without making it
-more clear. The want of light heightened it, and confused us all doubly.
-If a bomb had burst in the peaceful place I don’t think it could have
-produced a greater commotion. It was only the Admiral however who could
-say a word, and of course he was the proper person. Martha very soon
-came out of her tears to reply to him. He was angry, he was bewildered,
-he was wild for the moment. What was he to say to Llewellyn? What did
-she mean? How did Major Frost dare&mdash;&mdash;? I confess that I was crying in
-my corner&mdash;I could not help it. When the Admiral began to storm, I put
-my hand on his arm, and made him come to me, and whispered a word in his
-ear. Then the good man subsided into a bewildered silence. And after a
-while he went to the library, where Major Frost was waiting to know his
-fate.</p>
-
-<p>It is unnecessary to follow out the story further. Llewellyn, poor
-fellow, had to wait a long time after all before Nelly would look at
-him. I never knew such a proud little creature. And she never would own
-to me that any spark of human feeling had been in her during that
-painful year. They were a proud family altogether. Martha met me ever
-after with her old affectionateness and composure&mdash;never asked pardon,
-nor said I was right, but at the same time never resented nor betrayed
-my interference. I believe she forgot it even, with the happy facility
-that belonged to her nature, and has not an idea now that it was
-anything but the influence of love and preference which made her cast
-off Llewellyn and choose Major Frost.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes however in the gray of the summer evenings, or the long, long
-winter nights, I think I might just as well have let things alone. There
-are two bright households the more in the world, no doubt. But the
-Admiral and I are both dull enough sometimes, now the girls are gone. He
-comes, and sits with me, which is always company, and it is not his
-fault I have not changed my residence and my lonely condition. But I say
-to him, why should we change, and give the world occasion to laugh, and
-make a talk of us at our age? Things are very well as they are. I
-believe we are better company to each other living next door, than if we
-were more closely allied; and our neighbours know us too well to make
-any talk about our friendship. But still it often happens, even when we
-are together,&mdash;in the still evenings, and in the firelight, and when all
-the world is abroad of summer nights&mdash;that we both of us lament a little
-in the silence, and feel that it is very dull without the girls.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31"></a>{31}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="LADY_DENZIL" id="LADY_DENZIL"></a>LADY DENZIL</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> Denzils were the chief people at Dinglefield Green. Their house was
-by much the most considerable-looking house, and the grounds were
-beautiful. I say the most considerable-looking, for my own impression is
-that Dinglewood, which was afterwards bought by the stockbroker whose
-coming convulsed the whole Green, was in reality larger than the Lodge;
-but the Lodge, when Sir Thomas Denzil was in it, was all the same the
-centre of everything. It was like Windsor Castle to us neighbours, or
-perhaps in reality it was more what her Majesty’s actual royal
-habitation is to the dwellers within her castle gates. We were the poor
-knights, the canons, the musical and ecclesiastical people who cluster
-about that mingled stronghold of the State and Church&mdash;but to the Lodge
-was it given to bestow distinction upon us. Those of us who visited Lady
-Denzil entered into all the privileges of rank; those who did not
-receive that honour fell into the cold shade&mdash;and a very uncomfortable
-shade it must have been. I speak, you will say, at my ease; for my
-people had known the Denzils ages before, and Sir Thomas most kindly
-sent his wife to call, almost before I had settled down into my cottage;
-but I remember how very sore Mrs. Wood felt about it, though it
-surprised me at the time. ‘I have been here five years, and have met
-them everywhere, but she has never found the way to my door. Not that I
-care in the least,’ she said, with a flush on her cheek. She was a
-clergyman’s widow, and very sensitive about her ‘position,’ poor
-thing&mdash;and almost found fault with me, as if I was to blame for having
-known the Denzils in my youth.</p>
-
-<p>Lady Denzil, who had so much weight among us, was a very small
-personage. She would have been tiny and insignificant had she not been
-so stately and imposing. I don’t know how she did it. She was some way
-over sixty at the time I speak of. Whatever the fashion was, she always
-wore long flowing dresses which swept the ground for a yard behind her,
-and cloaks ample and graceful: always large, always full, and always
-made of black silk. Even in winter, though her carriage would be piled
-with heaps of furs, she wore upon her little majestic person<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32"></a>{32}</span> nothing
-but silk. Such silk!&mdash;you should have touched it to know what it was.
-The very sound of it, as it rustled softly after her over the summer
-lawn or the winter carpet, was totally different from the <i>frôlement</i> of
-ordinary robes. Some people said she had it made for herself expressly
-at Lyons. I don’t know how that might be, but I know I never saw
-anything like it. I believe she had every variety in her wardrobe that
-heart of woman could desire: Indian shawls worth a fortune I <i>know</i> were
-among her possessions; but she never wore anything but that matchless
-silk&mdash;long dresses of it, and long, large, ample cloaks to correspond.
-Her hair was quite white, like silver. She had the brightest dark eyes,
-shining out from under brows which were curved and lined as finely as
-when she was eighteen. Her colour was as fresh as a rose. I think there
-never was a more lovely old lady. Eighteen, indeed! It has its charms,
-that pleasant age. It is sweet to the eye, especially of man. Perhaps a
-woman, who has oftenest to lecture the creature, instead of falling down
-to worship, may not see so well the witchery which lies in the period;
-but find me any face of eighteen that could match Lady Denzil’s. It had
-wrinkles, yes; but these were crossed by lines of thought, and lighted
-up by that soft breath of experience and forbearance which comes only
-with the years. Lady Denzil’s eyes saw things that other eyes could not
-see. She knew by instinct when things were amiss. You could tell it by
-the charitable absence of all questioning, by a calm taking for granted
-the most unlikely explanations. Some people supposed they deceived her,
-but they never deceived her. And some people spoke of her extraordinary
-insight, and eyes that could see through a millstone. I believe her eyes
-were clear; but it was experience, only experience&mdash;long knowledge of
-the world, acquaintance with herself and human nature, and all the
-chances that befall us on our way through this life. That it was, and
-not any mere intuition or sharpness that put insight into Lady Denzil’s
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>The curious thing however was that she had never had any troubles of her
-own. She had lived with Sir Thomas in the Lodge since a period dating
-far beyond my knowledge. It was a thing which was never mentioned among
-us, chiefly, I have no doubt, because of her beautiful manners and
-stately look, though it came to be spoken of afterwards, as such things
-will; but the truth is, that nobody knew very clearly who Lady Denzil
-was. Sir Thomas’s first wife was from Lancashire, of one of the best old
-families in the county, and it was not an unusual thing for new comers
-to get confused about this, and identify the present Lady Denzil with
-her predecessor; but I am not aware that any one really knew the rights
-of it or could tell who she was. I have heard the mistake made, and I
-remember distinctly the gracious and unsatisfactory way with which she
-put it aside. ‘The first Lady Denzil was a Lancashire woman,’ she said;
-‘she was one of the Tunstalls of Abbotts<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33"></a>{33}</span> Tunstall, and a very beautiful
-and charming person.’ This was all; she did not add, as anybody else
-would have done, Loamshire or Blankshire is my county. It was very
-unsatisfactory, but it was fine all the same&mdash;and closed everybody’s
-mouth. There were always some connections on the Denzil side staying at
-the Lodge at the end of the year. No one could be kinder than she was to
-all Sir Thomas’s young connections. But nobody belonging to Lady Denzil
-was ever seen among us. I don’t think it was remarked at the time, but
-it came to be noted afterwards, and it certainly was very strange.</p>
-
-<p>I never saw more perfect devotion than that which old Sir Thomas showed
-to his wife. He was about ten years older than she&mdash;a hale, handsome old
-man, nearly seventy. Had he been twenty-five and she eighteen he could
-not have been more tender, more careful of her. Often have I looked at
-her and wondered, with the peaceful life she led, with the love and
-reverence and tender care which surrounded her, how she had ever come to
-know the darker side of life, and understand other people’s feelings. No
-trouble seemed ever to have come near her. She put down her dainty
-little foot only to walk over soft carpets or through bright gardens;
-she never went anywhere where those long silken robes might not sweep,
-safe even from the summer dust, which all the rest of us have to brave
-by times. Lady Denzil never braved it. I have seen her sometimes&mdash;very
-seldom&mdash;with her dress gathered up in her arms in great billows, on the
-sheltered sunny lime-walk which was at one side of the Lodge, taking a
-little gentle exercise; but this was quite an unusual circumstance, and
-meant that the roads were too heavy or too slippery for her horses. On
-these rare occasions Sir Thomas would be at her side, like a courtly old
-gallant as he was. He was as deferential to his wife as if she had been
-a princess and he dependent on her favour: and at the same time there
-was a grace of old love in his reverence which was like a poem. It was a
-curious little paradise that one looked into over the ha-ha across the
-verdant lawns that encircled the Lodge. The two were old and childless,
-and sometimes solitary; but I don’t think, though they opened their
-house liberally to kith, kin, and connections, that they ever felt less
-lonely than when they were alone. Two, where the two are one, is enough.
-To be sure the two in Eden were young. Yet it does but confer a certain
-tender pathos upon that companionship when they are old. I thought of
-the purest romance I knew, of the softest creations of poetry, when I
-used to see old Sir Thomas in the lime-walk with his old wife.</p>
-
-<p>But I was sorry she had not called on poor Mrs. Wood. It would have been
-of real consequence to that good woman if Lady Denzil had called. She
-was only a clergyman’s widow, and a clergyman’s widow may be anything,
-as everybody knows: she may be such a person as will be an acquisition
-anywhere, or she may be quite the reverse. It was because<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34"></a>{34}</span> Mrs. Wood
-belonged to this indefinite class that Lady Denzil’s visit would have
-been of such use. Her position was doubtful, poor soul! She was very
-respectable and very good in her way, and her daughters were nice girls;
-but there was nothing in themselves individually to raise them out of
-mediocrity. I took the liberty to say so one day when I was at the
-Lodge: but Lady Denzil did not see it somehow; and what could I do? And
-on the other hand it was gall and wormwood to poor Mrs. Wood every time
-she saw the carriage with the two bays stop at my door.</p>
-
-<p>‘I saw Lady Denzil here to-day,’ she would say. ‘You ought to feel
-yourself honoured. I must say I don’t see why people should give in to
-her so. In my poor husband’s time the duchess never came into the parish
-without calling. It need not be any object to me to be noticed by a bit
-of a baronet’s wife.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, indeed!’ said I, being a coward and afraid to stand to my guns; ‘I
-am sure you need not mind. And she is old, poor lady&mdash;and I am an old
-friend&mdash;and indeed I don’t know that Lady Denzil professes to visit,’ I
-went on faltering, with a sense of getting deeper and deeper into the
-mud.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, pray don’t say so to spare my feelings,’ said Mrs. Wood with
-asperity. ‘It is nothing to me whether she calls or not, but you must
-know, Mrs. Mulgrave, that Lady Denzil does make a point of calling on
-every one she thinks worth her while. I am sure she is quite at liberty
-to do as she pleases so far as I am concerned.’ Here she stopped and
-relieved herself, drawing a long breath and fanning with her
-handkerchief her cheeks, which were crimson. ‘But if I were to say I was
-connected with the peerage, or to talk about the titled people I do
-know,’ she added with a look of spite, ‘she would very soon find out
-where I lived: oh, trust her for that!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I think you must have taken up a mistaken idea,’ I said, meekly. I had
-not courage enough to stand up in my friend’s defence. Not that I am
-exactly a coward by nature, but Mrs. Wood was rather a difficult person
-to deal with; and I was sorry in the present instance, and felt that the
-grievance was a real one. ‘I don’t think Lady Denzil cares very much
-about the peerage. She is an old woman and has her fancies, I suppose.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, you are a favourite!’ said Mrs. Wood, tossing her head, as if it
-were my fault. ‘You have the <i>entrées</i>, and we are spiteful who are left
-out, you know,’ she added with pretended playfulness. It was a very
-affected little laugh however to which she gave utterance, and her
-cheeks flamed crimson. I was very sorry&mdash;I did not know what to say to
-make things smooth again. If I had been Lady Denzil’s keeper, I should
-have taken her to call at Rose Cottage next day. But I was not Lady
-Denzil’s keeper. It was great kindness of her to visit me: how could I
-force her against her will to visit other people? A woman of Mrs. Wood’s
-age, who surely could not have got so far through the world without a
-little understanding of how<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35"></a>{35}</span> things are managed, ought to have known
-that it could do her very little good to quarrel with me.</p>
-
-<p>And then the girls would come to me when there was anything going on at
-the Lodge. ‘We met the Miss Llewellyns the other day,’ Adelaide said on
-one occasion. ‘We thought them very nice. They are staying with Lady
-Denzil, you know. I wish you would make Lady Denzil call on mamma, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. It is so hard to come and settle in a place and be shut out
-from all the best parties. Until you have been at the Lodge you are
-considered nobody on the Green.’</p>
-
-<p>‘The Lodge can’t make us different from what we are,’ said Nora, the
-other sister, who was of a different temper. ‘I should be ashamed to
-think it mattered whether Lady Denzil called or not.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But it does matter a great deal when they are going to give a ball,’
-said Adelaide very solemnly. ‘The best balls going, some of the officers
-told me; and everybody will be there&mdash;except Nora and me,’ said the poor
-girl. ‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I wish you would make Lady Denzil call!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, my dear, I can’t make Lady Denzil do anything,’ I said; ‘I have no
-power over her. She comes to see me sometimes, but we are not intimate,
-and I have no influence. She comes because my people knew the Denzils
-long ago. She has her own ways. I could not make her do one thing or
-another. It is wrong to speak so to me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you could if you would try,’ said Adelaide; as she spoke, we could
-hear the sound of the croquet balls from the Lodge, and voices and
-laughter. We were all three walking along the road, under shelter of the
-trees. She gave such a wistful look when she heard them, that it went to
-my heart. It was not a very serious trouble, it is true. But still to
-feel one’s self shut out from anything, is hard when one is twenty. I
-had to hurry past the gate, to restrain the inclination I had to brave
-everything, and take them in with me, as my friends, to join the croquet
-party. I know very well what would have happened had I done so. Lady
-Denzil would have been perfectly sweet and gracious, and sent them away
-delighted with her; but she would never have crossed my threshold again.
-And what good would that have done them? The fact was, they had nothing
-particular to recommend them; no special qualities of their own to make
-up for their want of birth and connection; and this being the case what
-could any one say?</p>
-
-<p>It gave one a very different impression of Lady Denzil, to see how she
-behaved when poor Mrs. Stoke was in such trouble about her youngest boy.
-I had been with her calling, and Mrs. Stoke had told us a whole long
-story about him; how good-hearted he was, and how generous, spending his
-money upon everybody. It was a very hard matter for me to keep my
-countenance, for of course I knew Everard Stoke, and what kind of boy he
-was. But Lady Denzil took it all with the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36"></a>{36}</span> greatest attention and
-sympathy. I could not but speak of it when we came out. ‘Poor Mrs.
-Stoke!’ said I, ‘it is strange how she can deceive herself so&mdash;and she
-must have known we knew better. You who have seen poor Everard grow up,
-Lady Denzil&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, my dear,’ she said, ‘you are right; and yet, do you know, I think
-you are wrong too? She is not deceived. She knows a great deal better
-than we do. But then she is on the other side of the scene, and she sees
-into the boy’s heart a little. I hope she sees into his heart.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I fear it is a very bad heart; I should not think it was any pleasure
-to look into it,’ said I in my haste. Lady Denzil gave me a soft,
-half-reproachful look. ‘Well,’ she said, and gave a sigh, ‘it has always
-been one of my great fancies, that God was more merciful than man,
-because He saw fully what was in all our hearts&mdash;what we meant, poor
-creatures that we are, not what we did. We so seldom have any confidence
-in Him for that. We think He will forgive and save, but we don’t think
-He understands, and sees everything, and knows that nothing is so bad as
-it seems. Perhaps it is dangerous doctrine; at least the vicar would
-think so, I fear.’</p>
-
-<p>‘In the case of Everard Stoke,’ said I stupidly, coming back to the
-starting point.</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ said Lady Denzil with a little impatience, ‘the older one
-grows, the less one feels inclined to judge any one. Indeed when one
-grows quite old,’ she went on after a pause, smiling a little, as if it
-were at the thought that she, whom no doubt she could remember so
-thoughtless and young, <i>was</i> quite old, ‘one comes to judge not at all.
-Poor Everard, he never was a good boy&mdash;but I dare say his mother knows
-him best, and he is better than is thought.’</p>
-
-<p>‘At least it was a comfort to her to see you look as if you believed
-her,’ said I, not quite entering into the argument. Lady Denzil took no
-notice of this speech. It was a beautiful bright day, and it was but a
-step from Mrs. Stoke’s cottage to the Lodge gates, which we were just
-about entering. But at that moment there was a little party of soldiers
-marching along the high-road, at right angles from where we stood. It is
-not far from the Green to the barracks, and their red coats were not
-uncommon features in the landscape. These men however were marching in a
-business-like way, not lingering on the road: and among them was a man
-in a shooting-coat, handcuffed, poor fellow! It was a deserter they were
-taking back to the punishment that awaited him. I made some meaningless
-exclamation or other, and stood still, looking after them for a moment.
-Then I suppose my interest failed as they went on, at their rapid,
-steady pace, turning their backs upon us. I came back to Lady Denzil, my
-passing distraction over; but when I looked at her, there was something
-in her face that struck me with the deepest wonder. She had not come
-back to me. She was standing<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37"></a>{37}</span> absorbed, watching them; the colour all
-gone out of her soft old cheeks, and the saddest, wistful, longing gaze
-in her eyes. It was not pity&mdash;it was something mightier, more intense.
-She did not breathe or move, but stood gazing, gazing after them. When
-they had disappeared, she came to herself; her hands, which had been
-clasped tightly, fell loose at her sides; she gave a long deep sigh, and
-then she became conscious of my eyes upon her, and the colour came back
-with a rush to her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am always interested about soldiers,’ she said faintly, turning as
-she spoke to open the gate. That was all the notice she took of it. But
-the incident struck me more than my account of it may seem to justify.
-If such a thing had been possible as that the deserter might have been
-her husband or her brother, one could have understood it. Had I seen
-such a look on Mrs. Stoke’s face, I should have known it was Everard.
-But here was Lady Denzil, a contented childless woman, without anybody
-to disturb her peace. Sympathy must indeed have become perfect, before
-such a wistfulness could come into any woman’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Often since I have recalled that scene to my mind, and wondered over it;
-the quick march of the soldiers on the road; the man in the midst with
-death environing him all round, and most likely despair in his heart;
-and that one face looking on, wistful as love, sad as death&mdash;and yet
-with no cause either for her sadness or her love. It did not last long,
-it is true; but it was one of the strangest scenes I ever witnessed in
-my life.</p>
-
-<p>It even appeared to me next day as if Lady Denzil had been a little
-shaken, either by her visit to Mrs. Stoke, or by this strange little
-episode which nobody knew of. She had taken to me, which I confess I
-felt as a great compliment; and Sir Thomas came in to ask me to go to
-her next afternoon. ‘My lady has a headache,’ he said in a quaint way he
-had of speaking of her: I think he would have liked to call her my queen
-or my princess. When he said ‘my lady’ there was something chivalric,
-something romantic in his very tone. When I went into the drawing-room
-at the Lodge the great green blind was drawn over the window on the west
-side, and the trees gave the same green effect to the daylight, at the
-other end. The east windows looked out upon the lime-walk, and the light
-came in softly, green and shadowy, through the silken leaves. She was
-lying on the sofa, which was not usual with her. As soon as I entered
-the room she called me to come and sit by her&mdash;and of course she did not
-say a word about yesterday. We went on talking for an hour and more,
-about the trees, and the sunset; about what news there was; girls going
-to be married, and babies coming, and other such domestic incidents. And
-sometimes the conversation would languish for a moment, and I did think
-once there was something strange in her eyes, when she looked at me, as
-if she had something to tell and was looking into my face to see whether
-she might or might not do it. But<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38"></a>{38}</span> it never went any further; we began
-to speak of Molly Jackson, and that was an interminable subject. Molly
-was a widow in the village, and she gave us all a great deal of trouble.
-She had a quantity of little children, to whom the people on the Green
-were very kind, and she was a good-natured soft soul, always falling
-into some scrape or other. This time was the worst of all; it was when
-the talk got up about Thomas Short. People said that Molly was going to
-marry him. It would have been very foolish for them both, of course. He
-was poor and he was getting old, and would rather have hindered than
-helped her with her children. We gentlefolks may, or may not, be
-sentimental about our own concerns; but we see things in their true
-light when they take place among our poor neighbours. As for the two
-being a comfort to each other we never entered into that question; there
-were more important matters concerned.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know what would become of the poor children,’ said I. ‘The man
-would never put up with them, and indeed it could not be expected; and
-they have no friends to go to. But I don’t think Molly would be so
-wicked; she may be a fool but she has a mother’s heart.’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Denzil gave a faint smile and turned on her sofa as if something
-hurt her; she did not answer me all at once&mdash;and as I sat for a minute
-silent in that soft obscurity, Molly Jackson, I acknowledge, went out of
-my head. Then all at once when I had gone on to something else, she
-spoke; and her return to the subject startled me, I could not have told
-how.</p>
-
-<p>‘There are different ways of touching a mother’s heart,’ she said; ‘she
-might think it would be for their good; I don’t think it could be, for
-my part; I don’t think it ever is; a woman is deceived, or she deceives
-herself; and then when it is too late&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘What is too late?’ said Sir Thomas behind us. He had come in at the
-great window, and we had not noticed. I thought Lady Denzil gave a
-little start, but there was no sign of it in her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘We were talking of Molly Jackson,’ she said. ‘Nothing is ever too late
-here, thanks to your precise habits, you old soldier. Molly must be
-talked to, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said, turning to me.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, she will be talked to,’ said I; ‘I know the rector and his
-wife have both called; and last time I saw her, Mrs. Wood&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are not one of the universal advisers,’ said Lady Denzil, patting
-my arm with her white hand. It was no virtue on my part, but she spoke
-as if she meant it for a compliment. And then we had to tell the whole
-story over again to Sir Thomas, who was very fond of a little gossip
-like all the gentlemen, but had to have everything explained to him, and
-never knew what was coming next. He chuckled and laughed as men do over
-it. ‘Old fool!’ he said. ‘A woman with half-a-dozen children.’ It was
-not Molly but Thomas Short that he thought would be a fool; and on our
-side, it is true that we had not been thinking of him.</p>
-
-<p>Molly Jackson has not much to do with this story, but yet it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39"></a>{39}</span> may be as
-well to say that she listened to reason, and did not do anything so
-absurd. It was a relief to all our minds when Thomas went to live in
-Langham parish the spring after, and married somebody there. I believe
-it was a girl out of the workhouse, who might have been his daughter,
-and led him a very sad life. But still in respect to Molly it was a
-relief to our minds. I hope she was of the same way of thinking. I know
-for one thing that she lost her temper, the only time I ever saw her do
-it&mdash;and was very indignant about the young wife. ‘Old fool!’ she said,
-and again it was Thomas that was meant. We had a way of talking a good
-deal about the village folks, and we all did a great deal for
-them&mdash;perhaps, on the whole, we did too much. When anything happened to
-be wanting among them, instead of making an effort to get it for
-themselves, it was always the ladies on the Green they came to. And, of
-course, we interfered in our turn.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was in the spring of the following year that little Mary first came
-to the Lodge. Sir Thomas had been absent for some time, on business,
-Lady Denzil said, and it was he who brought the child home. It is all
-impressed on my mind by the fact that I was there when they arrived. He
-was not expected until the evening, and I had gone to spend an hour with
-Lady Denzil in the afternoon. It was a bright spring day, as warm as
-summer; one of those sweet surprises that come upon us in England in
-intervals between the gray east wind and the rain. The sunshine had
-called out a perfect crowd of golden crocuses along the borders. They
-had all blown out quite suddenly, as if it had been an actual voice that
-called them, and God’s innocent creatures had rushed forth to answer to
-their names. And there were heaps of violets about the Lodge which made
-the air sweet. And there is something in that first exquisite touch of
-spring which moves all hearts. Lady Denzil had come out with me to the
-lawn. I thought she was quieter than usual, with the air of a woman
-listening for something. Everything was very still, and yet in the
-sunshine one felt as if one could hear the buds unfolding, the young
-grass and leaflets thrilling with their new life. But it did not seem to
-me that Lady Denzil was listening to these. I said, ‘Do you expect Sir
-Thomas now?’ with a kind of vague curiosity; and she looked in my face
-with a sudden quick glance of something like suspicion which I could not
-understand.</p>
-
-<p>‘Do I look as if I expected something?’ she said. ‘Yes&mdash;I expect some
-news that probably I shall not like. But it does not matter, my dear. It
-is nothing that affects me.’</p>
-
-<p>She said these words with a smile that was rather dreary to see. It was
-not like Lady Denzil. It was like saying, ‘So long as it does not affect
-me you know I don’t care,’&mdash;which was so very, very far from my opinion
-of her. I did not know what to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40"></a>{40}</span> answer. Her tone somehow disturbed the
-spring feeling, and the harmony of the flowers.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish Sir Thomas had been here on such a lovely day,’ she said, after
-a while; ‘he enjoys it so. Peace is very pleasant, my dear, when you are
-old. You don’t quite appreciate it yet, as we do.’ And then she paused
-again and seemed to listen, and permitted herself the faintest little
-sigh.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think I am older than you are, Lady Denzil,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>Then she laughed in her natural soft way. ‘I dare say you are,’ she
-said. ‘That is the difference between your restless middle age and our
-<i>oldness</i>. You feel old because you feel young. That’s how it is;
-whereas, being really old, we can afford to be young again&mdash;sometimes,’
-she added softly. The last word was said under her breath. I don’t
-suppose she thought I heard it; but I did, being very quick of hearing,
-and very fond of her, and feeling there was something underneath which I
-did not know.</p>
-
-<p>Just then there came the sound of wheels upon the road, and Lady Denzil
-started slightly. ‘You have put it into my head that Sir Thomas might
-come by the three o’clock train,’ she said. ‘It would be about time for
-it now.’ She had scarcely stopped speaking and we had just turned
-towards the gate, when a carriage entered. I saw at once it was one of
-the common flys that are to be had at the station, and that it was Sir
-Thomas who put his head out at the window. A moment after it stopped. He
-had seen Lady Denzil on the lawn. He got out with that slight hesitation
-which betrays an old man; and then he turned and lifted something out of
-the carriage. For the first moment one could not tell what it was&mdash;he
-made a long stride on to the soft greensward, with his eyes fixed upon
-Lady Denzil, and then he put down the child on the lawn. ‘Go to that
-lady,’ he said. For my part I stood and stared, knowing nothing of the
-feelings that might lie underneath. The child stood still with her
-little serious face and looked at us both for a moment, and then she
-walked steadily up to Lady Denzil, who had not moved. I was quite
-unprepared for what followed. Lady Denzil fell down on her knees on the
-grass&mdash;she took the child to her, into her arms, close to her breast.
-All at once she fell into a passion of tears. And yet that does not
-express what I saw. It was silent; there were no cries nor sobs, such as
-a young woman might have uttered. The tears fell as if they had been
-pent up all her life, as if all her life she had been waiting for this
-moment: while Sir Thomas stood looking on, half sad, half satisfied. It
-seemed a revelation to him as it was to me. All this time when she had
-looked so serene and had been so sweet, had she been carrying those
-tears in her heart! I think that must have been what was passing through
-Sir Thomas’s mind. I had stood and stared, as one does when one is
-unexpectedly made the spectator of a crisis in another life. When I came
-to myself I was ashamed of spying as it were upon Lady Denzil’s
-feelings. I hastened away, shaking hands with Sir Thomas as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41"></a>{41}</span> I passed
-him. And so entirely was his mind absorbed in the scene before him, that
-I scarcely think he knew who I was.</p>
-
-<p>After this it may be supposed I took a very great interest in little
-Mary. At first I was embarrassed and did not quite know what to
-do&mdash;whether I should go back next day and ask for the child, and give
-Lady Denzil an opportunity of getting over any confusion she might feel
-at the recollection that I had been present&mdash;or whether I should stay
-away; but it turned out that Lady Denzil was not half so sensitive as I
-was on the subject. I stayed away for one whole day thinking about
-little else&mdash;and the next day I went, lest they should think it strange.
-It seemed quite curious to me to be received as if nothing had happened.
-There was no appearance of anything out of the ordinary course. When I
-went in Lady Denzil held out her hand to me as usual without rising from
-her chair. ‘What has become of you?’ she said, and made me sit down by
-her, as she always did. After we had talked a while she rang the bell.
-‘I have something to show you,’ she said smiling. And then little Mary
-came in, in her little brown holland overall, as if it was the most
-natural thing in the world. She was the most lovely child I ever saw. I
-know when I say this that everybody will immediately think of a
-golden-haired, blue-eyed darling. But she was not of that description.
-Her hair was brown&mdash;not dark, but of the shade which grows dark with
-years; and it was very fine silky hair, not frizzy and rough as is the
-fashion now-a-days. Her eyes were brown too, of that tender wistful kind
-which are out of fashion like the hair. Every look the child gave was an
-appeal. There are some children’s eyes that look at you with perfect
-trust, believing in everybody; and these are sweet eyes. But little
-Mary’s were sweeter still, for they told you she believed in <i>you</i>.
-‘Take care of me: be good to me&mdash;I trust you,’ was what they said; ‘not
-everybody, but you.’ This was the expression in them; and I never knew
-anybody who could resist that look. Then she had the true child’s beauty
-of a lovely complexion, pure red and white. She came up to me and looked
-at me with those tender serious eyes, and then slid her soft little hand
-into mine. Even when I had ceased talking to her and petting her, she
-never took her eyes away from my face. It was the creature’s way of
-judging of the new people among whom she had been brought&mdash;for she was
-only about six, too young to draw much insight from words. I was glad to
-bend my head over her, to kiss her sweet little face and smooth her
-pretty hair by way of hiding a certain embarrassment I felt. But I was
-the only one of the three that was embarrassed. Lady Denzil sat and
-looked at the child with eyes that seemed to run over with content. ‘She
-is going to stay with me, and take care of me,’ she said, with a smile
-of absolute happiness; ‘are not you, little Mary?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, my lady,’ said the little thing, turning, serious as a judge, to
-the old lady. I could not help giving a little start as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42"></a>{42}</span> I looked from
-one to the other, and saw the two pair of eyes meet. Lady Denzil was
-sixty, and little Mary was but six; but it was the same face; I felt
-quite confused after I had made this discovery, and sat silent and heard
-them talk to each other. Even in the little voice there was a certain
-trill which was like Lady Denzil’s. Then the whole scene rushed before
-me. Lady Denzil on her knees, her tears pouring forth and the child
-clasped in her arms. What did it mean? My lady was childless&mdash;and even
-had it been otherwise, that baby never could have been <i>her</i> child&mdash;who
-was she? I was so bewildered and surprised that it took from me the very
-power of speech.</p>
-
-<p>After this strange introduction the child settled down as an inmate of
-the Lodge, and was seen and admired by everybody. And every one
-discovered the resemblance. The neighbours on the Green all found it
-out, and as there was no reason we knew of why she should not be Lady
-Denzil’s relation, we all stated our opinion plainly&mdash;except perhaps
-myself. I had seen more than the rest, though that was almost nothing. I
-had a feeling that there was an unknown story beneath, and somehow I had
-not the courage to say to Lady Denzil as I sat there alone with her, and
-had her perhaps at a disadvantage. ‘How like the child is to you!’ But
-other people were not so cowardly. Not long after, two or three of us
-met at the Lodge, at the hour of afternoon tea, which was an invention
-of the time which Lady Denzil had taken to very kindly. Among the rest
-was young Mrs. Plymley, who was not precisely one of us. She was one of
-the Herons of Marshfield, and she and her husband had taken Willowbrook
-for the summer. She was a pleasant little woman, but she was fond of
-talking&mdash;nobody could deny that. And she had children of her own, and
-made a great fuss over little Mary the moment she saw her. The child was
-too much a little lady to be disagreeable, but I could see she did not
-like to be lifted up on a stranger’s knee, and admired and chattered
-over. ‘I wish my Ada was half as pretty,’ Mrs. Plymley said; ‘but Ada is
-so like her poor dear papa,’ and here she pretended to sigh. ‘I am so
-fond of pretty children. It is hard upon me to have mine so plain. Oh,
-you little darling! Mary what? you have only told me half your name.
-Lady Denzil, one can see in a moment she belongs to you.’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Denzil at the moment was pouring out tea. All at once the silver
-teapot in her hand seemed to give a jerk, as if it were a living
-creature, and some great big boiling drops fell on her black dress. It
-was only for a single second, and she had presence of mind to set it
-down, and smile and say she was awkward, and it was nothing. ‘My arm is
-always shaky when I hold anything heavy,’ she said; ‘ever since I had
-the rheumatism in it. Then she turned to Mrs. Plymley, whose injudicious
-suggestion we had all forgotten in our fright. Perhaps Lady Denzil had
-lost her self-possession a little. Perhaps it was only that she thought
-it best to reply at once, so that everybody<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43"></a>{43}</span> might hear. ‘Belongs to
-me?’ she said with her clear voice. And somehow we all felt immediately
-that something silly and uncalled for had been said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I mean your side of the house,’ said poor Mrs. Plymley abashed. She was
-young and nervous, and felt, like all the rest of us, that she was for
-the moment the culprit at the bar.</p>
-
-<p>‘She belongs to neither side of the house,’ said Lady Denzil, with even
-unnecessary distinctness. ‘Sir Thomas knows her people, and in his
-kindness he thought a change would be good for her. She is
-no&mdash;connection; nothing at all to us.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I am sure I beg your pardon,’ said Mrs. Plymley; and she let little
-Mary slide down from her lap, and looked very uncomfortable. None of us
-indeed were at our ease, for we had all been saying it in private. Only
-little Mary, standing in the middle, looked wistfully round upon us,
-questioning, yet undisturbed. And Lady Denzil, too, stood and looked. At
-that moment the likeness was stronger than ever.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is very droll,’ said Mrs. Damerel, the rector’s wife, whose eye was
-caught by it, like mine. ‘She is very like you, Lady Denzil; I never saw
-an incidental likeness so strong.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor little Mary! do you think she is like me?’ said Lady Denzil with a
-curious quiver in her voice; and she bent over the child all at once and
-kissed her. Sir Thomas had been at the other end of the room, quite out
-of hearing. I don’t know by what magnetism he could have known that
-something agitating was going on&mdash;I did not even see him approach or
-look; but all at once, just as his wife betrayed that strange thrill of
-feeling, Sir Thomas was at her elbow. He touched her arm quite lightly
-as he stood by her side.</p>
-
-<p>‘I should like some tea,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>She stood up and looked at him for a moment as if she did not
-understand. And then she turned to the tea-table with something like a
-blush of shame on her face. Then he drew forward a chair and sat down by
-Mrs. Plymley and began to talk. He was a very good talker when he
-pleased, and in two seconds we had all wandered away to our several
-subjects, and were in full conversation again. But it was some time
-before Lady Denzil took any part in it. She was a long while pouring out
-those cups of tea. Little Mary, as if moved by some unconscious touch of
-sympathy, stole away with her doll into a corner. It was as if the two
-had been made out of the same material and thrilled to the same
-touch&mdash;they both turned their backs upon us for the moment. I don’t
-suppose anybody but myself noticed this; and to be sure it was simply
-because I had seen the meeting between them, and knew there was
-something in it more than the ordinary visit to the parents’ friends of
-a little delicate child.</p>
-
-<p>Besides, the child never looked like a little visitor; she had brought
-no maid with her, and she spoke very rarely of her home. I don’t know
-how she might be dressed under those brown holland overalls, but these
-were the only outside garb<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44"></a>{44}</span> she ever wore. I don’t mean to say they were
-ugly or wanting in neatness; they were such things as the children at
-the Rectory wore in summer when they lived in the garden and the fields.
-But they did not look suitable for the atmosphere of the Lodge. By and
-by however these outer garments disappeared. The little creature
-blossomed out as it were out of her brown husk, and put forth new
-flowers. After the first few weeks she wore nothing but dainty white
-frocks, rich with needlework. I recognized Lady Denzil’s taste in
-everything she put on. It was clear that her little wardrobe was being
-silently renewed, and every pretty thing which a child of her age could
-fitly wear was being added to it. This could never have been done to a
-little visitor who had come for change of air. Then a maid was got for
-her, whom Lady Denzil was very particular about; and no one ever spoke
-of the time when little Mary should be going away. By degrees she grew
-to belong to the place, to be associated with everything in it. When you
-approached the house, which had always been so silent, perhaps it was a
-burst of sweet childish laughter that met your ears; perhaps a little
-song, or the pleasant sound of her little feet on the gravel in the
-sunny lime-walk. The servants were all utterly under her sway. They
-spoke of little Miss Mary as they might have spoken of a little princess
-whose word was law. As for Sir Thomas, I think he was the first subject
-in her realm. She took to patronizing and ordering him about before she
-had been a month at the Lodge. ‘Sir Thomas,’ she would say in her clear
-little voice, ‘come and walk;’ and the old gentleman would get up and go
-out with her, and hold wonderful conversations, as we could see, looking
-after them from the window. Lady Denzil did not seem either to pet her,
-or to devote herself to her, as all the rest of the house did. But there
-was something in her face when she looked at the child which passes
-description. It was a sort of ineffable content and satisfaction, as if
-she had all that heart could desire and asked no more. Little Mary
-watched her eye whenever they were together with a curious sympathy more
-extraordinary still. She seemed to know by intuition when my lady wanted
-her. ‘<span class="lftspc">’</span>Es, my lady,’ the child would say, watching with her sweet eyes.
-It was the only little divergence she made from correctness of speech,
-and somehow it pleased my ear. I suppose she said ‘My Lady’ because Sir
-Thomas did, and that I liked too. To an old lady like Lady Denzil it is
-such a pretty title; I fell into it myself without being aware.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Thus</span> the world went softly on, till the roses of June had come instead
-of the spring crocuses. Everything went on softly at the Green. True,
-there was a tragedy now and then, even<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45"></a>{45}</span> among us, like that sad affair
-of Everard Stoke; and sometimes a very troublesome complication, going
-near to break some hearts, like that of Nelly Fortis&mdash;but for the most
-part we were quiet enough. And that was a very quiet time. Little Mary
-had grown the pet of the Green before June. The little Damerels, who
-were nice children enough, were not to be compared with her; and then
-there were so many of them, whereas Mary was all alone like a little
-star. We all petted her&mdash;but she was one of the children whom it is
-impossible to spoil. She was never pert or disagreeable, like little
-Agatha Damerel. She had her little childish fits of temper by times, but
-was always sorry and always sweet, with her soft appealing eyes&mdash;a
-little woman, but never knowing or forward, like so many children
-now-a-days. She was still but a baby, poor darling, not more than seven
-years old, when that dreadful scene broke in upon our quietness which I
-have now to tell.</p>
-
-<p>It was June, and there was a large party on the lawn before the Lodge.
-As long as the season lasted, while there were quantities of people in
-town, Lady Denzil often had these parties. We were all there of course;
-everybody on the Green whom she visited&mdash;(and I used to be very sorry
-for Mrs. Wood and her daughters when one of them was going to take
-place). We were in the habit of meeting continually in the same way, to
-see the young people play croquet and amuse themselves; and there was
-perhaps a little monotony in it. But Lady Denzil always took care to
-have some variety. There would be a fine lady or two from town, bringing
-with her a whiff of all the grandeurs and gaieties we had no particular
-share in, and setting an example to the girls in their dress and
-accessories. I never was extravagant in my dress, nor encouraged such a
-thing&mdash;I think no true lady ever does&mdash;but a real fashionable perfect
-toilette is generally so complete, and charming, and harmonious, that it
-is good for one to see it now and then, especially for girls, though of
-course ignorant persons and men don’t understand why. And then there
-were a few gentlemen&mdash;with all the gossip of the clubs, and town talk,
-which made a very pleasant change to us. It was an unusually brilliant
-party that day. There was the young Countess of Berkhampstead, who was a
-great beauty and had married so strangely; people said the Earl was not
-very right in his head, and told the oddest stories about him. Poor
-thing, I fear she could not help herself&mdash;but she was the loveliest
-creature imaginable, and very nice then, though she went wrong
-afterwards. She sat by Lady Denzil’s side on the sofa, which was placed
-just before the great bank of roses. It was pretty to see them together:
-the lovely young lady, with her fits of gaiety and pretty languid
-stillnesses, letting us all admire her as if she felt what a pleasure it
-was to us; and the lovely old lady, so serene, so fair, so kind. I don’t
-know, for my part, which was the more beautiful. There were other fine
-ladies besides Lady Berkhampstead, and, as I have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46"></a>{46}</span> just said, it was a
-very brilliant party. There never was a more glorious day; the sky was a
-delight to look at, and the rich full foliage of the trees clustered out
-against the blue, as if they leant caressingly upon the soft air around
-them. The breath of the roses went everywhere, and behind Lady Denzil’s
-sofa they threw themselves up into space&mdash;great globes of burning
-crimson, and delicate blush, and creamy white. They were very rich in
-roses at the Lodge&mdash;I remember one wall quite covered with the <i>Gloire
-de Dijon</i>&mdash;but that is a digression. It was a broad lawn, and left room
-for several sets of croquet players, besides all the other people. The
-house was on a higher level at one side, the grounds and woods behind,
-and in front over the ha-ha we had a pretty glimpse of the Green, where
-cricket was being played, and the distant houses on the other side. It
-was like fairy-land, with just a peep of the outer world, by which we
-kept hold upon the fact that we were human, and must trudge away
-presently to our little houses. On the grass before Lady Denzil little
-Mary was sitting, a little white figure, with a brilliant picture-book
-which somebody had brought her. She was seated sideways, half facing to
-Lady Denzil, half to the house, and giving everybody from time to time a
-look from her tender eyes. Her white frock which blazed in the sunshine
-was the highest light in the picture, as a painter would have said, and
-gave it a kind of centre. I was not playing croquet, and there came a
-moment when I was doing nothing particular, and therefore had time to
-remark upon the scene around me. As I raised my eyes, my attention was
-all at once attracted by a strange figure, quite alien to the group
-below, which stood on the approach to the house. The house, as I have
-said, was on a higher level, and consequently the road which approached
-it was higher too, on the summit of the bank which sloped down towards
-the lawn. A woman stood above gazing at us. At first it seemed to me
-that she was one of the servants: she had a cotton gown on, and a straw
-bonnet, and a little black silk cloak. I could not say that she was
-shabby or wretched-looking, but her appearance was a strange contrast to
-the pretty crowd on the lawn. She seemed to have been arrested on her
-way to the door by the sound of voices, and stood there looking down
-upon us&mdash;a strange, tall, threatening figure, which awoke, I could not
-tell how, a certain terror in my mind. By degrees it seemed to me that
-her gaze fixed upon little Mary&mdash;and I felt more frightened still;
-though what harm could any one do to the child with so many anxious
-protectors looking on? However people were intent upon their games, or
-their talks, or their companions, and nobody saw her but myself. At last
-I got so much alarmed that I left my seat to tell Sir Thomas of her. I
-had just made one step towards him, when all at once, with a strange
-cry, the woman darted down the bank. It was at little Mary she flew: she
-rushed down upon her like a tempest, and seized the child, crushing up
-her pretty white frock and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47"></a>{47}</span> her dear little figure violently in her
-arms. I cried out too in my fright&mdash;for I thought she was mad&mdash;and
-various people sprang from their chairs, one of the last to be roused
-being Lady Denzil, who was talking very earnestly to Lady Berkhampstead.
-The woman gave a great loud passionate outcry as she seized upon little
-Mary. And the child cried out too, one single word which in a moment
-transfixed me where I stood, and caught Lady Denzil’s ear like the sound
-of a trumpet. It was a cry almost like a moan, full of terror and dismay
-and repugnance; and yet it was one of the sweetest words that ever falls
-on human ears. The sound stopped everything, even the croquet, and
-called Sir Thomas forward from the other end of the lawn. The one word
-that Mary uttered, that filled us all with such horror and
-consternation, was ‘Mamma!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, my darling,’ cried the woman, holding her close, crumpling, even
-crushing her up in her arms. ‘They took you from me when I wasn’t
-myself! Did I know where they were going to bring you? Here! Oh, yes, I
-see it all now. Don’t touch my child! don’t interfere with my
-child!&mdash;she sha’n’t stay here another day. Her father would curse her if
-he knew she was here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, please set me down,’ said little Mary. ‘Oh, mamma, please don’t
-hurt me. Oh, my lady!’ cried the poor child, appealing to her
-protectress. Lady Denzil got up tottering as she heard this cry. She
-came forward with every particle of colour gone from her face. She was
-so agitated her lips could scarcely form the words; but she had the
-courage to lay her hand upon the woman’s arm,&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘Set her down,’ she said. ‘If you have any claim&mdash;set her down&mdash;it shall
-be seen into. Sir Thomas&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>The stranger turned upon her. She was a woman about five-and-thirty,
-strong and bold and vigorous. I don’t deny she was a handsome woman. She
-had big blazing black eyes, and a complexion perhaps a little heightened
-by her walk in the heat. She turned upon Lady Denzil, shaking off her
-hand, crushing little Mary still closer in one arm, and raising the
-other with a wild theatrical gesture.</p>
-
-<p>‘You!’ she cried; ‘if I were to tell her father she was with you, he
-would curse her. How dare you look me in the face&mdash;a woman that’s come
-after her child! you that gave up your own flesh and blood. Ay! You may
-stare at her, all you fine folks. There’s the woman that sold her son to
-marry her master. She’s got her grandeur, and all she bid for; and she
-left her boy to be brought up in the streets, and go for a common
-soldier. And she’s never set eyes on him, never since he was two years
-old; and now she’s come and stole my little Mary from me!’</p>
-
-<p>Before this speech was half spoken every soul in the place had crowded
-round to hear. No one thought how rude it was. Utter consternation was
-in everybody’s look. As for Lady Denzil, she stood like a statue, as
-white as marble, in the same<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48"></a>{48}</span> spot, hearing it all. She did not move.
-She was like an image set down there, capable of no individual action.
-She stood and gazed, and heard it all, and saw us all listening. I
-cannot tell what dreadful pangs were rending her heart; but she stood
-like a dead woman in the sunshine, neither contradicting her accuser nor
-making even one gesture in her own defence.</p>
-
-<p>Then Sir Thomas, on whom there had surely been some spell, came forward,
-dividing the crowd, and took the stranger by the arm. ‘Set down the
-child,’ he said in a shaking voice. ‘Set her down. How dare <i>you</i> speak
-of a mother’s rights? Did you ever do anything for her? Set down the
-child, woman! You have no business here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I never forsook my own flesh and blood,’ cried the enraged creature,
-letting poor little Mary almost fall down out of her arms, but keeping
-fast hold of her. ‘I’ve a better right here than any of these strangers.
-I’m her son’s wife. She’s little Mary’s grandmother, though she’ll deny
-it. She’s that kind of woman that would deny to her last breath. I know
-she would. She’s the child’s grandmother. She’s my mother-in-law. She’s
-never seen her son since he was two years old. If he hears the very name
-of mother he curses and swears. Let me alone, I have come for my child!
-And I’ve come to give that woman her due!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Go!’ cried Sir Thomas. His voice was awful. He would not touch her, for
-he was a gentleman; but the sound of his voice made my very knees bend
-and tremble. ‘Go!’ he said&mdash;‘not a word more.’ He was so overcome at
-last that he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away, and
-wildly beckoned to the servants, who were standing listening too. The
-woman grasped little Mary by her dress. She crushed up the child’s
-pretty white cape in her hot hand and dragged her along with her. But
-she obeyed. She dared not resist his voice; and she had done all the
-harm it was possible to do.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’ll go,’ she said. ‘None of you had better touch me. I’m twice as
-strong as you, though you’re a man. But I’ll go. She knows what I think
-of her now; and you all know what she is!’ she cried, raising her voice.
-‘To marry that old man, she deserted her child at two years old, and
-never set eyes on him more. That’s Lady Denzil. Now you all know, ladies
-and gentlemen; and I’ll go.’</p>
-
-<p>All this time Lady Denzil never stirred; but when the woman moved away,
-dragging little Mary with her, all at once my lady stretched out her
-hands and gave a wild cry. ‘The child!’ she cried; ‘the child!’ And then
-the little thing turned to her with that strange sympathy we had all
-noticed. I don’t know how she twitched herself out of her mother’s
-excited, passionate grasp, but she rushed back and threw herself at Lady
-Denzil’s feet, and clutched hold of her dress. My lady, who had not
-moved nor spoken except those two words&mdash;who was old and capable of no
-such exertion, stooped over her and lifted her up.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49"></a>{49}</span> I never saw such a
-sight. She was as pale as if she had been dead. She had received such a
-shock as might well have killed her. Notwithstanding, this is what she
-did. She lifted up the child in her arms, broke away from us who were
-surrounding her, mounted the steep bank like a girl, with her treasure
-clasped close to her bosom, and before any one knew, before there was
-time to speak, or even almost think, had disappeared with her into the
-house. The woman would have rushed at her, sprung upon her, if she had
-not been held fast. It may easily be imagined what a scene it was when
-the mistress of the feast disappeared, and a family secret so
-extraordinary was thus tossed to public discussion. The house door rang
-after Lady Denzil, as she rushed in, with a sound like a cannon shot.
-The stranger stood struggling in the midst of a group of men, visitors
-and servants, some of whom were trying to persuade, some to force her
-away. Sir Thomas stood by himself, with his old pale hands piteously
-clasped together, and his head bent. He was overwhelmed by shame and
-trouble, and the shock of this frightful scene. He did not seem able for
-the first moment to face any one, to lift his eyes to the disturbed and
-fluttering crowd, who were so strangely in the way. And we all stood
-about thunderstruck, staring in each other’s faces, not knowing what to
-do or to say. Lady Berkhampstead, with the instinct of a great lady, was
-the first to recover herself. She turned to me, I scarcely know why, nor
-could she have told why. ‘I know my carriage is waiting,’ she said, ‘and
-I could not think of disturbing dear Lady Denzil to say good-bye. Will
-you tell her how sorry I am to go away without seeing her?’ They all
-came crowding round me with almost the same words, as soon as she had
-set the example. And presently Sir Thomas roused up as it were from his
-stupor. And for the next few minutes there was nothing but shaking of
-hands, and the rolling up of carriages, and an attempt on the part of
-everybody to smile and look as if nothing had happened. ‘So long as it
-does not make dear Lady Denzil ill,’ one of the ladies said. ‘This is
-one of the dangers of living so close upon the road. It might have
-happened to any of us,’ said another. ‘Of course the creature is mad;
-she should be shut up somewhere.’ They said such words with the natural
-impulse of saying anything to break the terrible impression of the
-scene; but they were all almost as much shocked and shaken as the
-principals in it. I never saw such a collection of pale faces as those
-that went from the Lodge that afternoon. I was left last of all. Somehow
-the woman who had made so dreadful a disturbance had disappeared without
-anybody knowing where. Sir Thomas and I were left alone on the lawn,
-which ten minutes ago&mdash;I don’t think it was longer&mdash;had been so gay and
-so crowded. So far as I was myself concerned, that was the most trying
-moment of all. Everybody had spoken to me as if I belonged to the house,
-but in reality I did not belong to the house; and I felt like a spy as I
-stood<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50"></a>{50}</span> with Sir Thomas all alone. And what was worse, he felt it too,
-and looked at me with the forced painful smile he had put on for the
-others, as if he felt I was just like them, and it was also needful for
-me.</p>
-
-<p>‘I beg your pardon for staying,’ I said, ‘don’t you think I could be of
-any use? Lady Denzil perhaps&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>Sir Thomas took my hand and shook it in an imperative way. ‘No, no,’ he
-said with his set smile. He even turned me towards the gate and touched
-my shoulder with his agitated hand&mdash;half no doubt, because he knew I
-meant kindly&mdash;but half to send me away.</p>
-
-<p>‘She might like me to do something,’ I said piteously. But all that Sir
-Thomas did was to wring my hand and pat my shoulder, and say, ‘No, no.’
-I was obliged to follow the rest with an aching heart. As I went out one
-of the servants came after me. It was a man who had been long in the
-family, and knew a great deal about the Denzils. He came to tell me he
-was very much frightened about the woman, who had disappeared nobody
-could tell how. ‘I’m afraid she’s hiding about somewhere,’ he said, ‘to
-come again.’ And then he glanced round to see that nobody was by, and
-looked into my face. ‘All that about my lady is true,’ he said&mdash;‘true as
-gospel. I’ve knowed it this forty years.’</p>
-
-<p>‘They’ve been very kind to you, Wellman,’ I said indignantly&mdash;‘for
-shame! to think you should turn upon your good mistress now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Turn upon her!’ said Wellman; ‘not if I was to be torn in little bits;
-but being such a friend of the family, I thought it might be a
-satisfaction to you, ma’am, to know as it was true.’</p>
-
-<p>If anything could have made my heart more heavy I think it would have
-been that. He thought it would be a satisfaction to me to know! And
-after the first moment of pity was past, were there not some people to
-whom it would be a satisfaction to know? who would tell it all over and
-gloat upon it, and say to each other that pride went before a fall? My
-heart was almost bursting as I crossed the Green in the blazing
-afternoon sunshine, and saw the cricketers still playing as if nothing
-had happened. Ah me! was this what brought such sad indulgent experience
-to Lady Denzil’s eyes?&mdash;was this what made her know by instinct when
-anything was wrong in a house? I could not think at first what a
-terrible accusation it was that had been brought against her. I thought
-only of her look, of her desperate snatch at the child, of her rush up
-the steep bank with little Mary in her arms. She could scarcely have
-lifted the child under ordinary circumstances&mdash;what wild despair, what
-longing must have stimulated her to such an effort! I put down my veil
-to cover my tears. Dear Lady Denzil! how sweet she was, how tender, how
-considerate of everybody. Blame never crossed her lips. I cannot
-describe the poignant aching sense of her suffering that grew upon me
-till I reached<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51"></a>{51}</span> my own house. When I was there, out of sight of
-everybody, I sat down and cried bitterly. And then gradually, by degrees
-it broke upon me what it was that had happened&mdash;what the misery was, and
-the shame.</p>
-
-<p>She must have done it forty years ago, as Wellman said, when she was
-quite young, and no doubt ignorant of the awful thing she was doing. She
-had done it, and she had held by it ever since&mdash;had given her child up
-at two years old, and had never seen him again. Good Lord! could any
-woman do that and live? Her child, two years old. My mind seemed to grow
-bewildered going over and over that fact: for evidently it was a fact.
-Her child&mdash;her own son.</p>
-
-<p>And for forty years! To keep it all up and stand by it, and never to
-flinch or falter. If it is difficult to keep to a good purpose for so
-long, what can it be to keep by an evil one? How could she do it? Then a
-hundred little words she had said came rushing into my mind. And that
-look&mdash;the look she cast after the deserter on the road! I understood it
-all now. Her heart had been longing for him all the time. She had loved
-her child more than other mothers love, every day of all that time.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Lady Denzil! dear Lady Denzil! this was the end of all my
-reasonings on the matter. I went over it again and again, but I never
-came to any ending but this:&mdash;The thing was dreadful; but she was not
-dreadful. There was no change in her. I did not realize any guilt on her
-part. My heart only bled for the long anguish she had suffered, and for
-the shock she was suffering from now.</p>
-
-<p>But before evening on this very same day my house was filled with people
-discussing the whole story. No one had heard any more than I had heard:
-but by this time a thousand versions of the story were afloat. Some
-people said she had gone astray when she was young, and had been cast
-off by her family, and that Sir Thomas had rescued her; and there were
-whispers that such stories were not so rare, if we knew all: a vile echo
-that always breathes after a real tragedy. And some said she was of no
-family, but had been the former Lady Denzil’s maid; some thought it was
-Sir Thomas’s own son that had been thus cast away; some said he had been
-left on the streets and no provision made for him. My neighbours went
-into a hundred details. Old Mr. Clifford thought it was a bad story
-indeed; and the rector shook his head, and said that for a person in
-Lady Denzil’s position such a scandal was dreadful; it was such an
-example to the lower classes. Mrs. Damerel was still more depressed. She
-said she would not be surprised at anything Molly Jackson could do after
-this. As for Mrs. Wood, who came late in the evening, all agape to
-inquire into the news, there was something like a malicious satisfaction
-in her face, I lost all patience when she appeared. I had compelled
-myself to bear what the others said, but I would not put up with her.</p>
-
-<p>‘Lady Denzil is my dear friend,’ I broke out, not without<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52"></a>{52}</span> tears; ‘a
-great trouble has come upon her. A madwoman has been brought against her
-with an incredible story; and when a story is incredible people always
-believe it. If you want to hear any more, go to other people who were
-present. I can’t tell you anything, and if I must say so, I won’t.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Good gracious, Mrs. Mulgrave, don’t go out of your senses!’ said my
-visitor. ‘If Lady Denzil has done something dreadful, that does not
-affect you!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But it does affect me,’ I said, ‘infinitely; it clouds over heaven and
-earth; it changes&mdash;Never mind, I cannot tell you anything about it. If
-you are anxious to hear, you must go to some one else than me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, I am very glad I was not there,’ said Mrs. Wood, ‘with my
-innocent girls. I am very glad now I never made any attempt to make
-friends with her, though you know how often you urged me to do it. I am
-quite happy to think I did not yield to you now.’</p>
-
-<p>I had no spirit to contradict this monstrous piece of pretence. I was
-glad to get rid of her anyhow; for though I might feel myself for an
-instant supported by my indignation, the blow had gone to my heart, and
-I had no strength to struggle against it. The thought of all that Lady
-Denzil might be suffering confused me with a dull sense of pain. And yet
-things were not then at their worst with my lady. Next morning it was
-found that little Mary had been stolen away.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">That</span> was a dreadful morning on the Green. After the lovely weather we
-had been having, all the winds and all the fiends seemed to have been
-unchained. It blew a hurricane during the night, and next day the Green
-was covered with great branches of trees which had been torn off and
-scattered about like wreck on a seashore. After this came rain; it
-poured as if the windows of heaven were opened, when Sir Thomas himself
-stepped in upon me like a ghost, as I sat at my solitary breakfast.
-These twenty-four hours had passed over him like so many years. He was
-haggard and ashy pale, and feeble. His very mind seemed to be confused.
-‘We have lost the child,’ he said to me, with a voice from which all
-modulation and softness had gone. ‘Will you come and see my wife?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Lost! little Mary?’ I cried.</p>
-
-<p>And then all his courage gave way; he sat down speechless, with his lips
-quivering, and bitter tears in his worn old eyes. Then he got up
-restless and shaking. ‘Come to my wife,’ he said. There was not another
-word exchanged between us. I put on my cloak with the hood over my head,
-and went with him on the moment. As we crossed the Green a sort of
-procession arrived, two or three great vans packed with people, with
-music<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53"></a>{53}</span> and flags, which proceeded to discharge their contents at the
-‘Barley-Mow’ under the soaking rain. They had come for a day’s pleasure,
-poor creatures, and this was the sort of day they got. The sight of them
-is so associated in my mind with that miserable moment, that I don’t
-think I could forget it were I to live a hundred years. It seemed to
-join on somehow to the tragical breaking-up of the party on the day
-before. There was nothing wrong now but in the elements; yet it chimed
-in with its little sermon on the vanity of all things. My lady was in
-her own room when I entered the Lodge. The shock had struck her down,
-but she was not calm enough, or weak enough to go to bed. She lay on a
-sofa in her dressing-gown; she was utterly pale, not a touch of her
-sweet colour left, and her hands shook as she held them out to me. She
-held them out, and looked up in my face with appealing eyes, which put
-me in mind of little Mary’s. And then, when I stooped down over her in
-the impulse of the moment to kiss her, she pressed my hands so in hers,
-that frail and thin as her fingers were, I almost cried out with pain.
-Mrs. Florentine, her old maid, stood close by the head of her mistress’s
-sofa. She stood looking on very grave and steady, without any surprise,
-as if she knew it all.</p>
-
-<p>For a few minutes Lady Denzil could not speak. And when she did, her
-words came out with a burst, all at once. ‘Did he tell you?’ she said.
-‘I thought you would help me. You have nobody to keep you back; neither
-husband nor&mdash;&mdash; I said I was sure of you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Dear Lady Denzil,’ I said, ‘if I can do anything&mdash;to the utmost of my
-strength&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>She held my hand fast, and looked at me as if she would look me through
-and through. ‘That was what I said&mdash;that was what I said!’ she cried;
-‘you <i>can</i> do what your heart says; you can bring her back to me; my
-child, my little child! I never had but a little child&mdash;never that I
-knew!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I will do whatever you tell me,’ I said, trying to soothe her; ‘but oh!
-don’t wear yourself out. You will be ill if you give way.’</p>
-
-<p>I said this, I suppose, because everybody says it when any one is in
-trouble. I don’t know any better reason. ‘That’s what I’m always telling
-my lady, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Florentine; ‘but she pays no heed to me.’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Denzil gave us both a faint little smile. She knew too much not to
-know how entirely a matter of conventional routine it was that we should
-say this to her. She made a pause, and then she took my hand once more.</p>
-
-<p>‘I ought to tell you,’ she said&mdash;‘it is all true&mdash;every word. Florentine
-knows everything, from the first to the last. I was a poor soldier’s
-widow, and I was destitute. I was too young to know what I was doing,
-and I was pretty, they said, and there were men that would have taken
-advantage of my simplicity. But Sir Thomas was never like that. I
-married him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54"></a>{54}</span> to buy a livelihood for my child; and he was very good to
-me. When he married me, I was a forlorn young creature, with nothing to
-give my helpless baby. I gave up my child, Florentine knows; and yet
-every day, every year of his life, I’ve followed him in my heart. If he
-had been living in my sight, I could not have known more of him. What I
-say is every word true, Florentine will tell you. I want you,’ grasping
-my hand tightly, ‘to tell everything to <i>him</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>‘To him!’ said I, with a gasp of astonishment, not knowing what she
-meant.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ said Lady Denzil, holding my hand fast, ‘to my boy&mdash;I want you to
-see my boy. Tell him there has never been a day I have not followed him
-in my heart. All his wilfulness I have felt was my fault. I have prayed
-God on my knees to lay the blame on me. That day when I saw the
-deserter&mdash;I want you to tell him everything. I want you to ask him to
-give me back the child.’</p>
-
-<p>I gave a cry of astonishment; an exclamation which I could not restrain.
-‘Can you expect it?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, yes, I expect it,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘not that I have any right&mdash;I
-expect it from his heart. Florentine will tell you everything. It is she
-who has watched over him. We never talked of anything else, she and I;
-never a day all these forty years but I have figured to myself what my
-darling was doing; I say my darling,’ she cried as with a sharp pang,
-with a sudden gush of tears, ‘and he is a man and a soldier, and in
-prison. Think of that, and think of all I have had to bear!’</p>
-
-<p>I could not make any answer. I could only press her hand with a dumb
-sympathy. As for Mrs. Florentine, she stood with her eyes cast down, and
-smoothed the chintz cover with her hand, taking no part by look or word.
-The story was no surprise to her. She knew everything about it; she was
-a chief actor in it; she had no need to show any sympathy. The union
-between her mistress and herself was deeper than that.</p>
-
-<p>‘When he married this woman, I was ready to believe it would be for his
-good,’ said my lady, when she had recovered herself. ‘I thought it was
-somehow giving him back what I had taken from him. I sent her presents
-secretly. He has been very, very wilful; and Sir Thomas was so good to
-him! He took his mother from him; but he gave him money, education,
-everything a young man wants. There are many young men,’ said Lady
-Denzil pathetically, ‘who think but little of their mothers&mdash;’ and then
-she made a pause. ‘There was young Clifford, for example,’ she added,
-‘and the rector’s brother who ran away&mdash;their mothers broke their
-hearts, but the boys did not care much. I have suffered in everything he
-suffered by; but yet if he had been here, perhaps he would not have
-cared for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is not possible,’ I said, not seeing what she meant.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, it is possible, very possible,’ she said. ‘I have seen it times
-without number. I have tried to take a little comfort<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55"></a>{55}</span> from it. If it
-had been a girl, I would never, never have given her up; but a boy&mdash;&mdash;
-That was what I thought. I don’t defend myself. Let him be the judge&mdash;I
-want him to be the judge. That woman is a wicked woman; she has
-disgraced him and left him; she will bring my child up to ruin. Ask him
-to give me back my poor little child.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I will do what I can,’ I said, faltering. I was pledged; yet how was I
-to do it? My courage failed me as I sat by her dismayed and received my
-commission. When she heard the tremulous sound of my voice, she turned
-round to me and held my hand close in hers once more.</p>
-
-<p>‘You can do everything,’ she said. Her voice had suddenly grown hoarse.
-She was at such a supreme height of emotion, that the sight of her
-frightened me. I kissed her; I soothed her; I promised to do whatever
-she would. And then she became impatient that I should set out. She was
-not aware of the rain or the storm. She was too much absorbed in her
-trouble even to hear the furious wail of the wind and the blast of rain
-against the windows: but had I been in her case she would have done as
-much for me. Before Florentine followed me with my cloak, I had made up
-my mind not to lose any more time. It was from her I got all the
-details: the poor fellow’s name, and where he was, and all about him. He
-had been very wild, Florentine said. Sir Thomas had done everything for
-him; but he had not been grateful, and had behaved very badly. His wife
-was an abandoned woman, wicked and shameless; and he too had taken to
-evil courses. He had strained Sir Thomas’s patience to the utmost time
-after time. And then he had enlisted. His regiment was in the Tower, and
-he was under confinement there for insubordination. Such was the brief
-story. ‘Many a time I’ve thought, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Florentine, ‘if my
-lady did but know him as she was a-breaking of her heart for! If he’d
-been at home he’d have killed her. But all she knows is that he’s her
-child&mdash;to love, and nothing more.’</p>
-
-<p>‘The Tower is a long way from our railway,’ I said; ‘but it does not
-much matter in a cab.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Law, ma’am, you’re never going to-day?’ said Florentine. But I had no
-intention of arguing the question with her. I went into the library to
-Sir Thomas to bid him good-bye. And he too was amazed when I told him.
-He took my hand as his wife had done, and shook it, and looked pitifully
-into my face. ‘It is I who ought to go,’ he said. But he knew as well as
-I did that it was impossible for him to go. He ordered the carriage to
-come round for me, and brought me wine&mdash;some wonderful old wine he had
-in his cellar, which I knew no difference in from the commonest sherry.
-But it pleased him, I suppose, to think he had given me his best. And
-before I went away, he gave me much more information about the
-unfortunate man I was going to see. ‘He is not bad at heart,’ said Sir
-Thomas; ‘I don’t think he is bad at heart; but his wife is a wicked
-woman.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56"></a>{56}</span> And when I was going away, he stooped his gray aged countenance
-over me, and kissed me solemnly on the forehead. When I found myself
-driving along the wet roads, with the rain sweeping so in the horses’
-faces that it was all the half-blinded coachman could do to keep them
-going against the wind, I was so bewildered by my own position that I
-felt stupid for the moment. I was going to the Tower to see Sergeant
-Gray, in confinement for disrespect to his superior officer&mdash;going to
-persuade him to exert himself to take his child from his wife’s custody,
-and give her to his mother, whom he did not know! I had not even heard
-how it was that little Mary had been stolen away. I had taken that for
-granted, in face of the immediate call upon me. I had indeed been swept
-up as it were by the strong wind of emotion, and carried away and thrust
-forward into a position I could not understand. Then I recognized the
-truth of Lady Denzil’s words. I had nobody to restrain me: no husband at
-home to find fault with anything I might do; nobody to wonder, or fret,
-or be annoyed by the burden I had taken upon me. The recollection made
-my heart swell a little, not with pleasure. And yet it was very true.
-Poor Mr. Mulgrave, had he been living, was a man who would have been
-sure to find fault. It is dreary to think of one’s self as of so little
-importance to any one; but perhaps one ought to think more than one
-does, that if the position is a dreary one, it has its benefits too. One
-is free to do what one pleases. I could answer to myself; I had no one
-else to answer to. At such a moment there was an advantage in that.</p>
-
-<p>At the station I met the rector, who was going to town by the same
-train. ‘Bless my soul, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ he said, ‘what a dreadful day you
-have chosen for travelling. I thought there was no one afloat on the
-world but me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There was no choice, Mr. Damerel,’ I said. ‘I am going about business
-which cannot be put off.’</p>
-
-<p>He was very kind: he got my ticket for me, and put me into a carriage,
-and did not insist that I should talk to him on the way up. He talked
-enough himself it is true, but he was satisfied when I said yes and no.
-Just before we got to town however he returned to my errand. ‘If your
-business is anything I can do for you,’ he said, ‘if there is anything
-that a man could look after better than a lady&mdash;you know how glad I
-should be to be of any use.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Thank you,’ I said. My feelings were not mirthful, but yet I could have
-burst out laughing. I wonder if there is really any business that a man
-can do better than a lady, when it happens to be <i>her</i> business and not
-his? I have never got much help in that way from the men that have
-belonged to me. And to think of putting my delicate, desperate business
-into Mr. Damerel’s soft, clerical hands, that had no bone in them! He
-got me a cab, which was something&mdash;though to be sure a porter would have
-done it quite as well&mdash;and opened his eyes to their utmost<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57"></a>{57}</span> width when
-he heard me tell the coachman to go to the Tower.</p>
-
-<p>What a drive it was! our thirty miles of railway was nothing to it:
-through all those damp, dreary, glistening London streets&mdash;streets
-narrow and drearily vicious; streets still more drearily respectable;
-desert lines of warehouses and offices; crowded thoroughfares with
-dreary vehicles in a lock, and dreary people crowding about surmounted
-with umbrellas&mdash;miles upon miles, streets upon streets, from Paddington
-to the Tower. I think it was the first drive of the kind I ever took,
-and if you can suppose me wrapped up in my waterproof cloak, a little
-excited about the unknown man I was going to see; trying to form my
-sentences, what I was to say; pondering how I should bring in my
-arguments best; wondering where I should have to go to find the mother
-and the child. Poor little Mary! after the little gleam of love and of
-luxury that had opened upon her, to be snatched off into the dreary
-world of poverty, with a violent mother whom it was evident she feared!
-And poor mother too! She might be violent and yet might love her child;
-she might be wicked and yet might love her child. To go and snatch the
-little creature back, at all hazards, was an act which to the popular
-mind would always look like a much higher strain of virtue than dear
-Lady Denzil’s abandonment. I could not defend Lady Denzil, even to
-myself; and what could I say for her to her son, who knew her not?</p>
-
-<p>At least an hour was lost before I got admittance to Sergeant Gray. As
-it happened, by a fortunate chance, Robert Seymour was colonel of the
-regiment, and came to my assistance. But for that I might have failed
-altogether. Robert was greatly amazed by the request I made him, but of
-course he did what I wanted. He told me Sergeant Gray was not in prison,
-but simply confined to his quarters, and that he was a very strange sort
-of man. ‘I should like to know what you can want with him,’ he said.
-‘Yes, of course, I am dreadfully curious&mdash;men are&mdash;you know it is our
-weakness. You may as well tell me what you want with Gray.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is nothing to laugh about,’ said I; ‘it is more tragic than comical.
-I have a message to him from his mother. And there is not a moment to
-lose.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I understand,’ said Robert, ‘I am to take myself off. Here is the door;
-but you must tell me anything you know about him when you have seen him.
-He is the strangest fellow in the regiment. I never can make him out.’</p>
-
-<p>And in two minutes more I was face to face with Sergeant Gray.</p>
-
-<p>He must have been like his father. There was not a feature in his face
-which recalled Lady Denzil’s. He was an immensely tall, powerful man,
-with strong chestnut brown hair, and vigour and life in every line of
-his great frame. I expected to find a prisoner partially sentimental;
-and I found a big man in undress<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58"></a>{58}</span> marching freely about his room, with a
-long pipe by the fire, and his beer and glasses on the table. I had
-expected a refined man, bearing traces of gentleman written on him, and
-the fine tastes that became Lady Denzil’s son. There <i>was</i> something
-about him, when one came to look at him a second time&mdash;but what was it?
-Traces of dissipation, a look of bravado, an instant standing to his
-arms in self-defence, whatever I might have come to accuse him of; and
-the insufferable coxcomb air which comes naturally to the meanest member
-of the household troops. Such was the rapid impression I formed as I
-went in. He took off his cap with an air of amazement yet assurance, but
-put it on again immediately. I stood trembling before this big,
-irreverent, unknown man. If the door had been open I think I should have
-run away. But as it was I had no resource.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr. Gray,’ I said all at once, half from cowardice, half to get it
-over, ‘I have come to you&mdash;from your mother.’</p>
-
-<p>The man actually staggered as he stood before me&mdash;he fell back and gazed
-at me as if I had been a ghost. ‘From my&mdash;mother?’ he said, and his lips
-seemed to refuse articulation. His surprise vanquished him; which was
-more than with my individual forces I could have hoped to do.</p>
-
-<p>‘From your mother,’ I repeated. ‘I have come direct from her, where she
-is lying ill and much shaken. She has told me all her story&mdash;and I love
-her dearly&mdash;that is why she sent me to you.’</p>
-
-<p>All the time I was speaking he stood still and stared at me; but when I
-stopped, he appeared gradually to come to himself. He brought forward,
-from where it stood against the wall, very deliberately, another chair,
-and sitting down looked at me intently. ‘If she has told you all her
-story,’ he said, ‘you will know how little inducement I have to listen
-to anything she may say.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ said I, feeling not a fictitious but a real passion swelling up
-into my throat, ‘she has told me everything, more than you can know. She
-has told me how for forty years&mdash;is it forty years?&mdash;she has watched
-over you in secret, spent her days in thinking of you, and her nights in
-praying for you. Ah, don’t smile! if you had seen her pale and broken in
-all her pride, lying trembling and telling me this, it would have
-touched your heart.’</p>
-
-<p>And I could see that it did touch his heart, being so new and unusual to
-him. He was not a cynical, over-educated man, accustomed to such
-appeals, and to believe them nonsense. And it touched him, being so
-unexpected. Then he made a little effort to recover himself, and the
-natural bravado of his character and profession. ‘In all her pride!’ he
-said bitterly. ‘Yes, that’s very well said; she liked her pride better
-than me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She liked your life better than you,’ said I&mdash;and heaven forgive me if
-I spoke like a sophist&mdash;‘and your comfort. To secure bread to you and
-education she made that vow. When she had once made it, she had to keep
-it. But I tell you what she told<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59"></a>{59}</span> me not three hours ago. “There has
-never been a day I have not followed him in my heart.” That is what she
-said. She and her old maid who used to see you and watch over you talked
-of nothing else. Fancy! you a young man growing up, taking your own way,
-going against the wishes of your best friends; and your mother, who
-dared not go to you, watching you from far off, weeping over you,
-praying on her knees, thinking of nothing else, talking of nothing else
-when she was alone and dared do it. At other times she had to go into
-the world to please her husband, to act as if you had no existence. And
-all the time she was thinking of nothing but you in her heart.’</p>
-
-<p>He had got up before I came so far. He was unquestionably moved; his
-step got quicker and quicker. He made impatient gestures with his hands
-as if to put my voice away. But all the same he listened to me greedily.
-When I had done&mdash;and I got so excited that I was compelled to be done,
-for tears came into my throat and choked me&mdash;he turned to me with his
-face strongly swept by winds of feeling. ‘Who told you?’ he cried
-abruptly. ‘Why do you come to disturb me? I was thinking nothing about
-my circumstances. I was thinking how I could best be jolly in such a
-position. What do I know about anybody who may choose to call herself my
-mother? Probably I never had a mother. I can do nothing for her, and she
-can do nothing for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You can do something for her,’ I cried. ‘She sent me to you to beg it
-of you. Sir Thomas saw how your wife was living. He saw she should not
-have a little girl to ruin. He brought away the child. I was there when
-he came home. Your mother knew in a moment who it was, though he never
-said a word. She rushed to her, and fell on her knees, and cried as if
-her heart would break. She thought God had sent the child. Little Mary
-is so like her, so like her! You cannot think how beautiful it was to
-see them together. Look! if you don’t know what your mother is, look at
-that face.’</p>
-
-<p>He had stood as if stupefied, staring at me. When I mentioned his wife
-he had made an angry gesture; but his heart melted altogether when I
-came to little Mary. I had brought Lady Denzil’s photograph with me,
-thinking it might touch his heart, and now I thrust it into his hand
-before he knew what I meant. He gave one glance at it, and then he fell
-back into his chair, and gazed and gazed, as if he had lost himself. He
-was not prepared. He had been wilful&mdash;perhaps wicked&mdash;but his heart had
-not got hardened like that of a man of the world. It had been outside
-evils he had done, outside influences that had moved him. When anything
-struck deep at his heart he had no armour to resist the blow. He went
-back upon his chair with a stride, hiding from me, or trying to hide,
-that he was obliged to do it to keep himself steady; he knitted his
-brows over the little picture as if it was hard to see it. But he might
-have spared himself the trouble. I saw how it was. One does<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60"></a>{60}</span> not live in
-the world and learn men’s ways for nought: I knew his eyes were filling
-with tears; I knew that sob was climbing up into his throat; and I did
-not say a word more. It was a lovely little photograph. The sun is often
-so kind to old women. It was my lady with all the softness of her white
-hair, with her gracious looks, her indulgent, benign eyes. And those
-eyes were little Mary’s eyes. They went straight into the poor fellow’s
-heart. After he had struggled as long as he could, the sob actually
-broke out. Then he straightened himself up all at once, and looked at me
-fiercely; but I knew better than to pretend to hear him.</p>
-
-<p>‘This is nothing to the purpose,’ he said; and then he stopped, and
-nature burst forth. ‘Why did she cast me upon the world? Why did she
-give me up? You are a good woman, and you are her friend. Why did she
-cast me away?’</p>
-
-<p>I shook my head, it was all I could do. I was crying, and I could not
-articulate. ‘God knows!’ I gasped through my tears. And he got up and
-went to the window, and turning his back on me, held up the little
-picture to the light. I watched no longer what he was doing. Nature was
-working her own way in his heart.</p>
-
-<p>When he turned round at last, he came up to me and held out his hand.
-‘Thank you,’ he said, in a way that, for the first time, reminded me of
-Lady Denzil. ‘You have made me think less harshly about my mother. What
-is it she wants me to do?’</p>
-
-<p>He did not put down the photograph, or give it back to me, but held it
-closely in his hand, which gave me courage. And then I entered upon my
-story. When I told him how his wife had insulted his mother, his face
-grew purple. I gave him every detail: how little Mary clung to my lady;
-how frightened she was of the passionate claimant who seized her. When I
-repeated her little cry, ‘My lady!’ a curious gleam passed over his
-face. He interrupted me at that point. ‘Who is my lady?’ he said, with a
-strange consciousness. The only answer I made was to point at the
-photograph. It made the most curious impression on him. Evidently he had
-not even known his mother’s name. Almost, I think, the title threw a new
-light for him upon all the circumstances. There are people who will say
-that this was from a mean feeling; but it was from no mean feeling. He
-saw by this fact what a gulf she had put between herself and him. He saw
-a certain reason in the separation which, if she had been a woman of
-different position, could not have existed. And there is no man living
-who is not susceptible to the world’s opinion of the people he is
-interested in. He changed almost imperceptibly&mdash;unawares. He heard all
-the rest of my story in grave silence. I told him what my lady had
-said&mdash;that he was to be the judge; and henceforward it was with the
-seriousness of a judge that he sat and listened. He heard me out every
-word, and then he sat and seemed to turn it over in his mind. So far as
-I was concerned, that was the hardest moment of all. His face was stern
-in its composure. He was reflecting, putting this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61"></a>{61}</span> and that together.
-His mother was standing at the bar before him. And what should I do, did
-he decide against her? Thus I sat waiting and trembling. When he opened
-his lips my heart jumped to my mouth. How foolish it was! That was not
-what he had been thinking of. Instead of his mother at the bar, it was
-his own life he had been turning over in his mind. It all came forth
-with a burst when he began to speak: the chances he had lost; the misery
-that had come upon him; the shame of the woman who bore his name; and
-his poor little desolate child. Then the man forgot himself, and swore a
-great oath. ‘As soon as I am free I will go and get her, and send her
-to&mdash;&mdash; my lady!’ he said, with abrupt, half-hysterical vehemence. And
-then he rose suddenly and went to the window, and turned his back on me
-again.</p>
-
-<p>I was overcome. I did not expect it so soon, or so fully. I could have
-thrown myself upon his neck, poor fellow, and wept. Was he the one to
-bear the penalties of all? sinned against by his mother in his
-childhood, and more dreadfully by his wife in his maturity. What had he
-done that the closest of earthly ties should thus be made a torment to
-him? When I had come to myself I rose and went after him, trembling.
-‘Mr. Gray,’ I said, ‘is there nothing that can be done for you?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t want anything to be done for me,’ he cried abruptly. The
-question piqued his pride. ‘Tell her she shall see yet that I understand
-the sacrifice she has made,’ he said. If he spoke ironically or in
-honesty I cannot tell; when his mouth had once been opened the stream
-came so fast. ‘I want to go away, that is all,’ he said, with a certain
-heat, almost anger; ‘anywhere&mdash;I don’t care where&mdash;to the Mauritius, if
-they like, where that fever is. No fear that I should die. I have been
-brought up like a gentleman&mdash;it is quite true. And yet I am here. What
-was the use? My father was a common soldier. She&mdash;&mdash; but it’s no good
-talking; I am no credit to anybody now. If I could get drafted into
-another regiment, and go&mdash;to India or anywhere&mdash;you should see a
-difference. I swear you should see a difference!’ his voice rose high in
-these last words, then he paused. ‘But she is old,’ he said, sinking his
-voice; ‘ten years&mdash;I couldn’t <i>do</i> in less than ten years. She’ll never
-be living then, to see what a man can do.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She is a woman that would make shift to live, somehow, to see her son
-come back,’ I cried. ‘Give her little Mary, and try.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She shall have little Mary, by God!’ cried the excited man; and then he
-broke down, and wept. I cannot describe this scene any more. I grasped
-his hand when I left him, feeling as if he were my brother; he had his
-mother’s picture held fast and hidden in his other hand. If that dear
-touch of natural love had come to him before! But God knows! perhaps he
-was only ready and open to it then.</p>
-
-<p>But he could not tell me where to find the child. I had to be content
-with his promise that when he was free he would restore<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62"></a>{62}</span> her to us. I
-went out from him as much shaken as if I had gone through an illness,
-and stole out, not to see Robert Seymour, whom I was not equal to
-meeting just at that moment. But the end of my mission was nearer than I
-thought. When I got outside there was a group of excited people about
-the gateway, close to which my cab was waiting me. They were discussing
-something which had just happened, and which evidently had left a great
-commotion behind. Among the crowd was a group of soldiers’ wives, who
-shook their heads, and talked it over to each other with lowered voices.
-‘It’s well for her she was took bad here, and never got nigh to him,’
-one of them said. ‘He’d have killed her, I know he would! It’s well for
-her she never got in to tempt that man to her death.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was brazen of her to come nigh him at all,’ said another, ‘and him
-so proud. She always was a shameless one. What my heart bleeds for is
-that poor little child.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Where is the child?’ asked a third. ‘It would be well for her, poor
-innocent, if the Lord was to take her too.’</p>
-
-<p>I was standing stupefied, listening to them, when I heard a little cry,
-and the grasp of something at my dress. The cry was so feeble, and the
-grasp so light, that I might never have noticed it but for those women.
-I turned round, and the whole world swam round me for a moment. I did
-what Lady Denzil did&mdash;I staggered forward and fell on my knees, though
-this was not the soft green grass, but a stony London pavement, and
-clasped little Mary tight with a vehemence that would have frightened
-any other child; but she was not frightened. The little creature was
-drenched with the pitiless rain. She had been tied up in an old shawl,
-to hide the miserable, pretty white frock, now clogged with mud and
-soaked with water. Her little hat was glued to her head with the floods
-to which she had been exposed. I lifted my treasure wildly in my arms,
-as soon as I had any strength to do it, and rushed with her to my
-carriage. I felt like a thief triumphant; and yet it was no theft. But
-my eagerness aroused the suspicions of the soldiers’ wives who had been
-standing by. They explained to me that the child was Sergeant Gray’s
-child; that her mother had been took very bad in a fit, and had been
-carried off to the hospital; and that I, a stranger, had no right to
-interfere. I don’t know what hurried explanation I made to them; but I
-know that at last I satisfied their fears, and with little Mary in my
-arms actually drove away.</p>
-
-<p>It was true, though I never could believe it. I got her as easily as if
-it had been the most natural thing in the world. I could not believe it,
-even when I held her fast and drew from her her little story. She had
-been taken away early, very early in the morning, when she had run to
-the door as soon as she was up to satisfy herself that it rained. No
-doubt the wretched mother had hung about the grounds all night in the
-storm and rain to get at the child. She had snatched up little Mary in
-her arms, and rushed out with her before any one was aware.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63"></a>{63}</span> The child
-had been dragged along the dreary roads in the rain. If the woman had
-really loved her, if it had been the passion of a tender mother, and not
-of a revengeful creature, she never would have subjected the child to
-this. She was wet to the skin, with pools in her little boots, and the
-water streaming from her dress. I took her to a friend’s house and got
-dry clothes to put upon her. The unhappy mother had, no doubt, been out
-all night exposed to the storm. She was mad with rage and misery and
-fatigue, and probably did not feel her danger at the moment; but just as
-she reached the Tower to claim, building upon a common opposition to one
-object, her husband’s support, had fallen down senseless on his very
-threshold as it were. Nothing indeed but madness could have led her to
-the man whom she had disgraced. When the surrounding bystanders saw that
-nothing was to be done for her, and that she would not come out of her
-faint, they had her carried in alarm to the hospital. Such was the
-abrupt conclusion of the tale. Had I known I need not have given myself
-the trouble of seeing Sergeant Gray&mdash;but that, at least, was a thing
-which I could not find in my heart to regret.</p>
-
-<p>When I took her back Lady Denzil held me in her arms, held me fast, and
-looked into my face, even before she listened to little Mary’s call. She
-wanted me to tell her of her child&mdash;her own child&mdash;and I was so weak
-that I could not speak to her. I fell crying on her tender old bosom,
-like a fool, and had to be comforted, as if it could be anything to
-me&mdash;in comparison. I don’t know afterwards what I said to her, but she
-understood all I meant. As for Sir Thomas he was too happy to ask any
-questions. The child had wound herself into his very heart. He sat with
-little Mary in his arms all that evening. He would scarcely allow her to
-be taken to bed. He went up with his heavy old step to see her sleeping
-safe once more under his roof, and made Wellman, with a pistol, sleep in
-a little room below. But little Mary was safe enough now. Her father was
-confined in his barrack room, with my lady’s photograph in his hands,
-and a host of unknown softenings and compunctions in his heart. Her
-mother was raving wildly in the hospital on the bed from which she was
-never to rise. I don’t know that any one concerned, except myself,
-thought of this strange cluster of divers fortunes, of tragic mystery
-and suffering, all hanging about the little angel-vision of that child.
-Sin, shame, misery, every kind of horror and distress, and little Mary
-the centre of all; how strange it was!&mdash;how terrible and smiling and
-wretched is life!</p>
-
-<p>It is not to be supposed that such a frightful convulsion and earthquake
-could pass over and leave no sign. Little Mary was very ill after her
-exposure, and the shadow of death fell on the Lodge. Perhaps that
-circumstance softened a little the storm of animadversion that rose up
-in the neighbourhood. For six months after, Lady Denzil, who had been
-our centre of society,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64"></a>{64}</span> was never seen out of her own gates. Then they
-went away, and were absent a whole year. It was the most curious change
-to everybody on the Green. For three months no one talked on any other
-subject, and the wildest stories were told: stories with just so much
-truth in them as to make them doubly wild. It was found out somehow that
-that wretched woman had died, and then there were accounts current that
-she had died in the grounds at the Lodge&mdash;on the road&mdash;in the
-workhouse&mdash;everywhere but the real place, which was in the hospital,
-where every indulgence and every comfort that she was capable of
-receiving had been given to her, Sir Thomas himself going to town on
-purpose to see that it was so. And then it was said that it was she who
-was Lady Denzil’s child. It was a terrible moment, and one which left
-its mark upon everybody concerned. Sergeant Gray lost his rank, but got
-his wish and was drafted into another regiment going to India. I saw him
-again, I and poor old Mrs. Florentine.</p>
-
-<p>But he did not see his mother. They were neither of them able for such a
-trial. ‘I will come back in ten years,’ he said to me. I do not know if
-he will. I don’t know if Lady Denzil will live so long. But I believe if
-she does that then for the first time she will see her son.</p>
-
-<p>They returned to the Lodge two years ago, and the neighbourhood now,
-instead of gossiping, is very curious to know whether Lady Denzil ever
-means to go into society again. Everybody calls, and admires little
-Mary&mdash;how she has grown, and what a charming little princess she is; and
-they all remind my lady, with tender reproach, of those parties they
-enjoyed so much. ‘Are we never to have any more, dear Lady Denzil?’ Lucy
-Stoke asked the other day, kneeling at my lady’s side, and caressing her
-soft old ivory-white hand. My lady&mdash;to whom her tender old beauty, her
-understanding of everybody’s trouble, even the rose-tint in her cheek,
-have come back again&mdash;made no answer, but only kissed pretty Lucy. I
-don’t know if she will give any more parties; but she means to live the
-ten years.</p>
-
-<p>As for Sir Thomas he was never so happy in his life before. He follows
-little Mary about like an old gray tender knight worshipping the fairy
-creature. Sometimes I look on and cannot believe my eyes. The wretched
-guilty mother is dead long ago, and nobody remembers her very existence.
-The poor soldier has worked himself up to a commission, and may be high
-in rank before he comes back. If Lady Denzil had been the most tender
-and devoted of mothers, could things have turned out better? Is this
-world all a phantasmagoria and chaos of dreams and chances? One’s brain
-reels when Providence thus contradicts all the laws of life. Is it
-because God sees deeper and ‘understands,’ as my lady is so fond of
-saying? It might well be that He had a different way of judging from
-ours, seeing well and seeing always what we mean in our hearts.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65"></a>{65}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="THE_STOCKBROKER_AT_DINGLEWOOD" id="THE_STOCKBROKER_AT_DINGLEWOOD"></a>THE STOCKBROKER AT DINGLEWOOD</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Those</span> who saw Dinglewood only after the improvements had been made could
-scarcely be able to form to themselves any idea of what it was before
-the Greshams came. I call them improvements because everybody used the
-word; but I cannot say I thought the house improved. It was an
-old-fashioned red-brick house, nothing to speak of architecturally&mdash;in
-the style of Kensington Palace and Kew, and the rest of those old homely
-royal houses. The drawing-room opened its tall narrow windows upon a
-little terrace, which was very green and grassy, and pleasant. I should
-be sorry to undertake to say why it was called Dinglewood. Mr. Coventry
-made very merry over the name when he had it. He used to say it was
-because there were no trees; but that was not strictly the case. It was
-quite open and bare, it is true, towards the river, which we could not
-see from the Green; but there was a little grove of trees which
-interposed between us and the house, as if to shut out Dinglewood from
-the vulgarity of neighbours. It was a popular house in a quiet way when
-the Coventrys were there. They did not give parties, or pretend to take
-much trouble in the way of society, for Lady Sarah was always delicate;
-but when we were tired with our view on the Green, and our lawns and
-trees, we were always welcome on the Dinglewood terrace, where the old
-people were constantly to be found sitting out in the summer afternoons,
-Lady Sarah on her sofa, and Mr. Coventry with the newspapers and his
-great dog. The lawn went sloping down towards the river, which lay still
-and white under the sunshine, with a little green island, and a little
-gray house making a centre to the picture. As long as the sloping bank
-was lawn it was closely cut and kept like velvet; but when it became
-field these niceties stopped, and Lady Sarah’s pet Alderney stood up to
-her knees in the cool clover. There was an old mulberry-tree close to
-the wall of the house, which shaded the sofa; and a gloomy yew on the
-other side did the same thing for Mr. Coventry, though he was an old
-Indian and a salamander, and could bear any amount of sunshine. Lady
-Sarah’s perpetual occupation was knitting. She knitted all sorts of
-bright-coloured things in brilliant German<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66"></a>{66}</span> wool with big ivory pins,
-and her husband used to read the news to her. They read all the debates
-together, stopping every now and then to exchange their sentiments. Lady
-Sarah would say with her brisk little voice, ‘He might have made a
-better point there. I don’t see that he proves his case. I don’t agree
-with that;’ and Mr. Coventry would stop and lay down the paper on his
-knees, and discuss it leisurely. There was no reason why they should not
-do it at their leisure. The best part of the summer days were spent thus
-by the old couple; and the sunshine lay warm and still round them, and
-the leaves rustled softly, and the cool grass kept growing under their
-peaceful old feet. These feet tread mortal soil no longer, and all this
-has nothing in the world to do with my story. But it was a pretty sight
-in its way. They were not rich, and the furniture and carpets were very
-faded, and everything very different from what it came to be afterwards;
-yet we were all very fond of Mr. Coventry and his old wife, and the
-old-fashioned house was appropriate to them. I like to think of them
-even now.</p>
-
-<p>We were all anxious, of course, after Mr. Coventry’s death, to know who
-would buy the house (Lady Sarah could not bear it after he was gone, and
-indeed lived only a year after him); and when it was known that young
-Mr. Gresham was the purchaser, it made quite a sensation on the Green.
-He was the son of old Gresham, who had bought Bishop’s Hope, a noble
-place at Cookesley, about a dozen miles off, but had made all his
-fortune as a stockbroker, and, they say, not even the best kind of that.
-His son had succeeded him in business, and had lately married somebody
-in his own class. He was a nice-looking young fellow enough, and had
-been brought up at Eton, to be sure, like so many of those people’s
-sons; but still one felt that it was bringing in a new element to the
-Green. If his wife had been, as so often happens, a gentlewoman, it
-would have made things comparatively easy. But she was only the daughter
-of a mercantile man like himself, and there was great discussion among
-us as to what we should do when they came. Some families made up their
-minds at once not to call; and some, on the other hand, declared that
-such rich people were sure to <i>fêter</i> the whole county, and that
-everybody would go to them. ‘If they had only been a <i>little</i> rich, it
-would never have answered; but they are frightfully rich, and, of
-course, we must all go down on our knees,’ Lottie Stoke said. She was
-the most eager of all to know them; for her youth was passing away, and
-she was not likely to marry, and the Stokes were poor. I confess I was
-curious myself to see how things would turn out.</p>
-
-<p>Their first step however was one which took us all by surprise. Young
-Gresham dashed over in his Yankee waggon from Cookesley to go over the
-house, and the same day a charming barouche made the tour of the Green,
-with a very pretty young woman in it, and a lovely little girl, and a
-matchless tiny Skye terrier&mdash;all going to inspect Dinglewood. The arms
-on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67"></a>{67}</span> carriage were quartered to the last possibility of quartering,
-as if they had come through generations of heiresses and gentlemen of
-coat-armour, and the footman was powdered and dazzling to behold.
-Altogether it was by far the finest equipage that had been seen in these
-parts for a long time. Not to speak of Lady Denzil’s, or the other great
-people about, her Majesty’s own carriage, that she drives about the
-neighbourhood in, was not to be compared to it. Its emblazoned panels
-brushed against the privet hedges in poor old Lady Sarah’s drive, which
-was only wide enough for her little pony-carriage, and I have no doubt
-were scratched and spoiled; but the next thing we heard about Dinglewood
-was that a flood of workmen had come down upon it, and that everything
-was to be changed. Young Mrs. Gresham liked the situation, but the house
-was <i>far</i> too small for her. My maid told me a new dining-room and
-drawing-room, with bed-rooms over, were to be added, and already the
-people had set to work. We all looked on thunderstruck while these
-‘improvements’ were going on: he had a right to do it, no doubt, as he
-had bought it, but still it did seem a great piece of presumption. The
-pretty terrace was all cut up, and the poor old mulberry-tree perished
-in the changes, though it is true that they had the sense not to spoil
-the view. They added two wings to the old house, with one sumptuous room
-in each. Poor Lady Sarah’s drawing-room, which was good enough for her,
-these millionaires made into a billiard-room, and put them all <i>en
-suite</i>, making a passage thus between their two new wings. I don’t deny,
-as I have already said, that they had a perfect right to do it; but all
-the same it was very odd to us.</p>
-
-<p>And then heaps of new furniture came down from town; the waggons that
-brought it made quite a procession along the road. All this grandeur and
-display had a bad effect upon the neighbourhood. It really looked as if
-these new people were already crowing over us, whose carpets and
-hangings were a little faded and out of fashion. There was a general
-movement of indignation on the Green. All this expense might be well
-enough, for those who could afford it, in a town-house, people said, but
-in the country it was vulgar and stupid. Everything was gilded and
-ornamented and expensive in the new Dinglewood; Turkey carpets all over
-the house, and rich silk curtains and immense mirrors. Then after a
-while ‘the family’ arrived. They came with such a flutter of fine
-carriages as had never been seen before among us. The drive had been
-widened, down which Lady Sarah’s old gray pony used to jog so
-comfortably, and there was nothing to be seen all day long but smooth,
-shining panels and high-stepping horses whisking in and out. In the
-first place there was Mr. Gresham’s Yankee waggon, with a wicked-looking
-beast in it, which went like the wind. Then there would be a cosy
-brougham carrying Mrs. Gresham to Shoreton shopping, or taking out the
-nurse and baby for an airing; and after lunch came the pretty open
-carriage with the armorial bearings and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68"></a>{68}</span> men in powder. We were too
-indignant to look round at first when these vehicles passed; but custom
-does a great deal, and one’s feelings soften in spite of one’s self. Of
-all the people on the Green, Lottie Stoke was the one who did most for
-the new people. ‘I mean to make mamma call,’ she said: and she even made
-a round of visits for the purpose of saying it. ‘Why shouldn’t we all
-call on them? I think it is mean to object to them for being rich. It
-looks as if we were ashamed of being poor; and they are sure to have
-quantities of people from town, and to enjoy themselves&mdash;people as good
-as we are, Mrs. Mulgrave: they are not so particular in London.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear Lottie,’ said I, ‘I have no doubt the Greshams themselves are
-quite as good as we are. That is not the question. There are social
-differences, you know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes! I know,’ cried Lottie; ‘I have heard of them all my life, but
-I don’t see what the better we are, for all our nicety; and I mean to
-make mamma call.’</p>
-
-<p>She was not so good as her word however, for Mrs. Stoke was a timid
-woman, and waited to see what the people would do. And in the meantime
-the Greshams themselves, independent of their fine house and their showy
-carriages, presented themselves as it were before us for approval. They
-walked to church on Sunday without any show, which made quite a
-revulsion in their favour; and she was very pretty and sweet-looking,
-and he was so like a gentleman that you could never have told the
-difference. And the end of it all was, that one fine morning Lady
-Denzil, without saying a word to any one, called; and after that,
-everybody on the Green.</p>
-
-<p>I do not pretend to say that there was not a little air of newness about
-these young people. They were like their house, a little too bright, too
-costly, too luxurious. Mrs. Gresham gave herself now and then pretty
-little airs of wealth, which, to do her justice, were more in the way of
-kindness to others than display for herself. There was a kind of
-munificence about her which made one smile, and yet made one grow red
-and hot and just a little angry. It might not have mattered if she had
-been a princess, but it did not answer with a stockbroker’s wife. She
-was so anxious to supply you with anything or everything you wanted.
-‘Let me send it,’ she would say in a lavish way, whenever there was any
-shortcoming, and opened her pretty mouth and stared with all her pretty
-eyes when her offers were declined. She wanted that delicate sense of
-other people’s pride, which a true great lady always has. She did not
-understand why one would rather have one’s own homely maid to wait, than
-borrow her powdered slave; and would rather walk than be taken up in her
-fine carriage. This bewildered her, poor little woman. She thought it
-was unkind of me in particular. ‘You can’t <i>really</i> prefer to drive
-along in the dust in your little low carriage,’ she said, with a curious
-want of perception that my pony carriage was my own. This was the only
-defect I found in her,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69"></a>{69}</span> and it was a failing which leant to virtue’s
-side. Her husband was more a man of the world, but he too had money
-written all over him. They were dreadfully rich, and even in their
-freest moment they could not get rid of it&mdash;and they were young and
-open-hearted, and anxious to make everybody happy. They had people down
-from town as Lottie prophesied&mdash;fashionable people sometimes, and clever
-people, and rich people. We met all kinds of radicals, and artists, and
-authors, and great travellers at Dinglewood. The Greshams were rather
-proud of their literary acquaintances indeed, which was surprising to
-us. I have seen old Sir Thomas look very queer when he was told he was
-going to meet So-and-So, who had written some famous book. ‘Who is the
-fellow?’ he said privately to me with a comical look, for he was not
-very literary in his tastes;&mdash;neither were the Greshams for that matter:
-but then, having no real rank, they appreciated a little distinction,
-howsoever it came; whereas the second cousin of any poor lord or good
-old decayed family was more to the most of us than Shakespeare himself
-or Raphael; though of course it would have been our duty to ourselves to
-be very civil to either of those gentlemen had we met them at dinner
-anywhere on the Green.</p>
-
-<p>But there was no doubt that this new lively household, all astir with
-new interests, new faces, talk and movement, and pleasant extravagance,
-woke us all up. They were so rich that they took the lead in many
-things, in spite of all that could be done to the contrary. None of us
-could afford so many parties. The Greshams had always something on hand.
-Instead of our old routine of dinners and croquet-parties, and perhaps
-two or three dances a year for the young people, there was an endless
-variety now at Dinglewood; and even if we elders could have resisted
-Mrs. Gresham’s pretty winning ways on her own account, it would have
-been wicked to neglect the advantage for our children. Of course this
-did not apply to me, who have no children; but I was never disposed to
-stand very much on my dignity, and I liked the young couple. They were
-so fond of each other, and so good-looking, and so happy, and so
-ready&mdash;too ready&mdash;to share their advantages with everybody. Mrs. Gresham
-sent her man over with I don’t know how much champagne the morning of
-the day when they were all coming to play croquet on my little lawn, and
-he wanted to know, with his mistress’s love, whether he should come to
-help, or if there was anything else I wanted. I had entertained my
-friends in my quiet way before she was born, and I did not like it.
-Lottie Stoke happened to be with me when the message arrived, and took
-the reasonable view, as she had got into the way of doing where the
-Greshams were concerned.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why should not they send you champagne?’ she said. ‘They are as rich as
-Crœsus, though I am sure I don’t know much about him; and you are a
-lady living by yourself, and can’t be expected to think of all these
-things.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70"></a>{70}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘My dear Lottie,’ said I&mdash;and I confess I was angry&mdash;‘if you are not
-content with what I can give you, you need not come to me. The Greshams
-can stay away if they like. Champagne in the afternoon when you are
-playing croquet! It is just like those <i>nouveaux riches</i>. They would
-think it still finer, I have no doubt, if they could drink pearls, like
-Cleopatra. Champagne!’</p>
-
-<p>‘They must have meant it for Cup, you know,’ said Lottie, a little
-abashed.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t care what they meant it for,’ said I. ‘You shall have cups of
-tea; and I am very angry and affronted. I wonder how they think we got
-on before they came!’</p>
-
-<p>And then I sat down and wrote a little note, which I fear was terribly
-polite, and sent it and the baskets back with John Thomas, while Lottie
-went and looked at all the pictures as if she had never seen them
-before, and hummed little airs under her breath. She had taken up these
-Greshams in the most curious way. Not that she was an unreasonable
-partisan; she could see their faults like the rest of us, but she was
-always ready to make excuses for them. ‘They don’t know any better,’ she
-would say softly when she was driven to the very extremity of her
-special pleading. And she said this when I had finished my note and was
-just sending it away.</p>
-
-<p>‘But why don’t they know better?’ said I; ‘they have had the same
-education as other people. He was at Eton where a boy should learn how
-to behave himself, even if he does not learn anything else. And she went
-to one of the fashionable schools&mdash;as good a school as any of you ever
-went to.’</p>
-
-<p>‘We were never at any school at all,’ said Lottie with a little
-bitterness. ‘We were always much too poor. We have never learned
-anything, we poor girls; whereas Ada Gresham has learned everything,’
-she added with a little laugh.</p>
-
-<p>It was quite true. Poor little Mrs. Gresham was overflowing with
-accomplishments. There never was such an education as she had received.
-She had gone to lectures, and studied thorough bass, and knew all about
-chemistry, and could sympathize with her husband, as the newspapers say,
-and enter into all his pursuits. How fine it sounds in the newspapers!
-Though I was angry, I could not but laugh too&mdash;a young woman wanted an
-elaborate education indeed to be fit to be young Gresham’s wife.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well,’ I said, ‘after all, I don’t suppose she means to be impertinent,
-Lottie, and I like her. I don’t think her education has done her much
-harm. Nobody could teach her to understand other people’s feelings; and
-to be rich like that must be a temptation.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should like to have such a temptation,’ said Lottie, with a sudden
-sparkle in her eyes. ‘Fancy there are four Greshams, and they are all as
-rich. The girl is married, you know, to a railway man; and, by the by,’
-she went on suddenly after a pause, ‘they tell me one of the brothers is
-coming here to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>She said this in an accidental sort of way, but I could see<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71"></a>{71}</span> there was
-nothing accidental about it. She drew her breath hard, poor girl, and a
-little feverish colour got up in her cheeks. It is common to talk of
-girls looking out for husbands, and even hunting that important quarry.
-But when now and then in desperate cases such a thing does actually come
-before one’s eyes, it is anything but an amusing sight. The Stokes were
-as poor as the Greshams were rich. Everard had ruined himself, and
-half-killed everybody belonging to him only the year before; and now
-poor Lottie saw a terrible chance before her, and rose to it with a kind
-of tragic valour. I read her whole meaning and resolution in her face,
-as she said, with an attempt at a smile, these simple-sounding words;
-and an absolute pang of pity went through me. Poor Lottie!&mdash;it was a
-chance, for her family and for herself&mdash;even for poor Everard, whom they
-all clung to, though he had gone so far astray. What a change it would
-make in their situation and prospects, and everything about them! You
-may say it was an ignoble foundation to build family comfort upon. I do
-not defend it in any way; but when I saw what Lottie meant, my heart
-ached for her. It did not seem to me ridiculous or base, but tragic and
-terrible; though to be sure in all likelihood there is nobody who will
-think so but me.</p>
-
-<p>Before Lottie left me, Mrs. Gresham came rushing over in her pretty
-summer dress, with her curls and ribbons fluttering in the breeze. She
-came to ask me why I had been so unkind, and to plead and remonstrate.
-‘We have so much, we don’t know what to do with it,’ she said; ‘Harry is
-always finding out some new vintage or other, and the cellars are
-overflowing. Why would not you use some of it? We have so much of
-everything we don’t know what to do.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I would rather not, thanks,’ I said, feeling myself flush; ‘what a
-lovely day it is. Where are you going for your drive? The woods will be
-delicious to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I have so much of the woods,’ cried Mrs. Gresham. ‘I thought of
-going towards Estcott to make some calls. But, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, about
-the Champagne?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is a little too early for the heath,’ said Lottie, steadily looking
-our visitor in the face. ‘It is always cold there. What they call
-bracing, you know; but I don’t care about being braced, the wind goes
-through and through one, even on a sunny day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is because you are so thin,’ said Mrs. Gresham; ‘I never feel the
-cold for my part; but I shall not drive at all to-day&mdash;I forgot&mdash;I shall
-go and fetch Harry from the station, and come to you, Mrs. Mulgrave: and
-you will not be cross, but let me send back John Thomas with&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear, I am going to give you some tea,’ said I, ‘and my maids can
-manage beautifully; the sight of a gorgeous creature like John Thomas
-distracts them; they can do nothing but stare at his plush and his
-powder. We shall be very glad to have Mr. Gresham and you.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72"></a>{72}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘But&mdash;’ she began eagerly. Then she caught Lottie’s look, who had made
-some sign to her, and stopped short, staring at me with her blue eyes.
-She could not make it out, and no hint short of positive demonstration
-could have shown her that she had gone too far. She stopped in obedience
-to Lottie’s sign, but stared at me all the same. Her prosperity, her
-wealth, her habit of overcoming everything that looked in the least like
-a difficulty, had taken even a woman’s instinct from her. She gazed at
-me, and by degrees her cheeks grew red: she saw she had made a mistake
-somehow, but even up to that moment could not tell what it was.</p>
-
-<p>‘Harry’s brother is coming with him,’ she said, a little subdued; ‘may I
-bring him? He is the eldest, but he is not married yet. He is such a man
-of the world. Of course he might have married when he liked, as early as
-we did, there was nothing to prevent him: but he got into a fashionable
-set first, and then he got among the artists. He is quite what they call
-a Bohemian you know. He paints beautifully&mdash;Harry always consults Gerald
-before buying any pictures; I don’t know what he does with all his
-money, for he keeps up no establishment, and no horses nor anything. I
-tell him sometimes he is an old miser, but I am sure I have no reason to
-say so, for he gives me beautiful presents. I should so like to bring
-him here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, bring him by all means,’ said I; but I could not help giving a
-little sigh as I looked at Lottie, who was listening eagerly. When she
-saw me look at her, her face flamed scarlet, and she went in great haste
-to the window to hide it from Mrs. Gresham. She saw I had found her out,
-and did not know what compassion was in my heart. She gave a wistful
-glance up into my face as she went away. ‘Don’t despise me!’ it said.
-Poor Lottie! as if it ever could be lawful to do evil that good might
-come! They went away together, the poor girl and the rich, happy young
-wife. Lottie was a little the older of the two, and yet she was not old,
-and they were both pretty young women. They laid their heads together
-and talked earnestly as girls do, as they went out of my gate, and
-nobody could have dreamed that their light feet were entangled in any
-web of tragedy. The sight of the two who were so unlike, and the thought
-of the future which might bring them into close connection made me
-melancholy, I could not have told why.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">We</span> did not miss the Champagne-cup that afternoon; indeed I do not
-approve of such beverages for young people, and never sanction anything
-but tea before dinner. The Dinglewood people were doing their best to
-introduce these foolish extravagances among us, but I for one would not
-give in. Young<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73"></a>{73}</span> Gresham, though he took some tea, drew his wife aside
-the moment after, and I heard him question her.</p>
-
-<p>‘It was not my fault, Harry,’ she cried, not knowing I was so near. ‘She
-sent it all back, and Lottie said I had hurt her feelings. I did not
-know what to do. She would not even have John Thomas to wait.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nonsense!’ said Harry Gresham; ‘you should have insisted. We ought not
-to let her go to any expense. I don’t suppose she has a shilling more
-than she wants for her own affairs.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But I could not help it,’ said his wife.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know what Lottie had said to her, but she was evidently a little
-frightened. As for Harry, I think he would have liked to leave a
-bank-note for me on one of the tables. People have told me since that it
-was a very bad sign, and that it is only when people are getting
-reckless about money that they think of throwing it away in presents;
-but I cannot say I have had much experience of that weakness. The new
-brother who had come with them was a very different kind of man. I
-cannot say I took to him at first. He was not a wealthy, simple-minded,
-lavish creature like his brother. He was more like other people. Harry
-Gresham was red and white, like a girl, inclining to be stout, though he
-was not above thirty, and with the manners which are, or were, supposed
-to be specially English&mdash;downright and straightforward. Gerald was a few
-years older, a little taller, bronzed with the sun, and bearing the
-indescribable look of a man who has mixed much with the world. I looked
-at Lottie Stoke when I made my first observations upon the stranger, and
-saw that she too was looking at him with a strange expression, half of
-repugnance, half of wistfulness in her eyes. Lottie had not done her
-duty in the way of marrying, as she ought to have done, in her early
-youth. She had refused very good offers, as her mother was too apt to
-tell with a little bitterness. Now at last, when things were going so
-badly with the family, she had made up her mind to try; but when she did
-so she expected a second Harry Gresham, and not this man of the world.
-She looked at him as a martyr might look standing on the edge of a
-precipice, gathering up her strength for the plunge, shrinking yet
-daring. My party was quite dull for the first hour because of this pause
-which Lottie made on the brink, for she was always the soul of
-everything. When I saw her all at once rise up from the chair where she
-had been sitting obstinately beside old Mrs. Beresford, and go up to
-Mrs. Gresham, who was standing aside with her brother-in-law looking on,
-I knew she had made up her mind at last, and taken the plunge. An
-experienced rich young man of the nineteenth century! I thought to
-myself she might spare her pains.</p>
-
-<p>Just at that moment I saw the gorgeous figure of John Thomas appear at
-the end of my lawn, and a sudden flush of anger came over me. I got up
-to see what he wanted, thinking<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74"></a>{74}</span> they had sent him back again
-notwithstanding my refusal. But just before I reached him I perceived
-that his errand was to his master, to whom he gave a telegram. Mr.
-Gresham tore it open at my side. He ran his eye over the message, and
-muttered something between his teeth, and grew red all over in
-indignation or trouble. Then, seeing me, he turned round, with an
-effort, with one of his broad smiles.</p>
-
-<p>‘Business even in the midst of pleasure,’ he said. ‘Is it not too bad?’</p>
-
-<p>‘If it is only business&mdash;’ said I. Whenever I see one of those telegraph
-papers, it makes my heart beat. I always think somebody is ill or dead.</p>
-
-<p>‘<i>Only</i> business, by Jove!’ said Harry. His voice was quite subdued, but
-he laughed&mdash;a laugh which sounded strange and not very natural. Then he
-gave himself a sort of shake, and thrust the thing into his pocket, and
-offered me his arm, to lead me back to my place. ‘By the by,’ he said,
-‘I am going to quarrel with you, Mrs. Mulgrave. When we are so near why
-don’t you let us be of some use to you? It would give the greatest
-pleasure both to Ada and me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, thanks; but indeed I don’t want any help,’ I cried, abruptly coming
-to a sudden stop before Lady Denzil’s chair.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are so proud,’ he said with a smile, and so left me to plunge into
-the midst of the game, where they were clamouring for him. He played all
-the rest of the afternoon, entering into everything with the greatest
-spirit; and yet I felt a little disturbed. Whether it was for Lottie, or
-whether it was for Harry Gresham I could not well explain to myself; a
-feeling came over me like the feeling with which one sometimes wakes in
-the morning without any reason for it&mdash;an uneasy restless sense that
-something somehow was going wrong.</p>
-
-<p>The Greshams were the last of my party to go away, and I went to the
-gate with them, as I had a way of doing, and lingered there for a few
-minutes in the slanting evening light. It was nearly seven o’clock, but
-they did not dine till eight, and were in no hurry. She wore a very
-pretty dress&mdash;one of those soft pale grays which soil if you look hard
-at them&mdash;and had gathered the long train over her arm like a figure in a
-picture; for though she was not very refined, Ada Gresham was not a
-vulgar woman to trail her dress over a dusty road. She had taken her
-husband’s arm as they went along the sandy brown pathway, and Gerald on
-the other side carried her parasol and leant towards her to talk. As I
-looked at them I could not but think of the strange differences of life:
-how some people have to get through the world by themselves as best they
-may, and some have care and love and protection on every side of them.
-These two would have kept the very wind from blowing upon Ada; they were
-ready to shield her from every pain, to carry her in their arms over any
-thorns that might come in her way. The sunshine slanted sideways upon
-them as they went<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75"></a>{75}</span> along, throwing fantastic broken shadows of the three
-figures on the hedgerow, and shining right into my eyes. I think I can
-see her now leaning on her husband’s arm, looking up to his brother,
-with the pretty sweep of the gray silk over her arm, the white
-embroidered skirts beneath, and the soft rose-ribbons that caught the
-light. Poor Ada! I have other pictures of her, beside this one, in my
-memory now.</p>
-
-<p>Next day we had a little discussion upon the new brother, in the
-afternoon when my visitors looked in upon me. We did not confine
-ourselves to that one subject. We diverged, for instance, to Mrs.
-Gresham’s toilette, which was so pretty. Lottie Stoke had got a new
-bonnet for the occasion; but she had made it herself, and though she was
-very clever, she was not equal to Elise.</p>
-
-<p>‘Fancy having all one’s things made by Elise!’ cried Lucy the little
-sister, with a rapture of anticipation. ‘If ever I am married, nobody
-else shall dress <i>me</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then you had better think no more of curates,’ said some malicious
-critic, and Lucy blushed. It was not her fault if the curates amused
-her. They were mice clearly intended by Providence for fun and torture.
-She was but sixteen and meant no harm, and what else could the kitten
-do?</p>
-
-<p>Then a great controversy arose among the girls as to the claims of the
-new brother to be called handsome. The question was hotly discussed on
-both sides, Lottie alone taking no part in the debate. She sat by very
-quietly, with none of her usual animation. Nor did she interpose when
-the Gresham lineage and connection&mdash;the little cockney papa who was like
-a shabby little miser, the mother who was large and affable and
-splendid, a kind of grand duchess in a mercantile way&mdash;were taken in
-hand. Lottie could give little sketches of them all when she so pleased;
-but she did not please that day.</p>
-
-<p>‘This new one does not look like a nobody,’ said one of my visitors. ‘He
-might be the Honourable Gerald for his looks. He is fifty times better
-than Mr. Gresham, though Mr. Gresham is very nice too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And he has such a lovely name!’ cried Lucy. ‘Gerald Gresham! Any girl I
-ever heard of would marry him just for his name.’</p>
-
-<p>‘They have all nice names,’ said the first speaker, who was young too,
-and attached a certain weight to this particular. ‘They don’t sound like
-mere rich people. They might be of a good old family to judge by their
-names.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes; she is Ada,’ said Lucy, reflectively, ‘and he is Harry, and the
-little boy’s name is Percy. But Gerald is the darling! Gerald is the one
-for me!’</p>
-
-<p>The window was open at the time, and the child was talking incautiously
-loud, so that I was not much surprised, for my part, when a peal of
-laughter from outside followed this speech, and Ada, with her
-brother-in-law in attendance, appeared under<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76"></a>{76}</span> the veranda. Of course
-Lucy was covered with confusion; but her blushes became the little
-creature, and gave her a certain shy grace which was very pretty to
-behold. As for Lottie, I think the contrast made her paler. Looking at
-her beautiful refined head against the light, nobody could help admiring
-it; but she was not round and dimpled and rosy like her little sister.
-After a while Gerald Gresham managed to get into the corner where Lottie
-was, to talk to her; but his eyes sought the younger creature all the
-same. A man has it all his own way when there is but one in the room. He
-was gracious to all the girls, like a civilized English sultan; but they
-were used to that, poor things, and took it very good-naturedly.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is not his fault if he is the only man in the place,’ said Lucy; and
-she was not displeased, though her cheeks burned more hotly than ever
-when he took advantage of her incautious speech.</p>
-
-<p>‘I must not let you forget that it is Gerald who is the darling,’ he
-said laughing. Of course it was quite natural, and meant nothing, and
-perhaps no one there but Lottie and myself thought anything of this
-talk; but it touched her, poor girl, with a certain mortification, and
-had a curious effect upon me. I could not keep myself from thinking,
-Would it be Lucy after all? After her sister had made up her mind in
-desperation; after she had screwed her courage to the last fatal point;
-after she had consciously committed herself and compromised her maiden
-up-rightness, would it be Lucy who would win the prize without an
-effort? I cannot describe the effect it had upon me. It made me burn
-with indignation to think that Lottie Stoke was putting forth all her
-powers to attract this stranger&mdash;this man who was rich, and could buy
-her if he pleased; and, at the same time, his looks at Lucy filled me
-with the strangest sense of disappointment. I ought to have been glad
-that such humiliating efforts failed of success, and yet I was not. I
-hated them, and yet I could not bear to think they would be in vain.</p>
-
-<p>‘And Harry has gone to town again to-day,’ said Ada, with a pout of her
-pretty mouth, ‘though he promised to stay and take me up the river. They
-make his life wretched with those telegrams and things. I ask him, What
-is the good of going on like this, when we have plenty of money? And
-then he tells me I am a little fool and don’t understand.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I always feel sure something dreadful has happened whenever I see a
-telegram,’ said Mrs. Stoke.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, we are quite used to them: they are only about business,’ said Ada,
-taking off her hat and smoothing back, along with a twist of her pretty
-hair, the slightest half visible pucker of care from her smooth young
-brow.</p>
-
-<p>‘Only business!’ said Gerald. They were the same words Harry had said
-the day before, and they struck me somehow. When he caught my eye he
-laughed, and added something about the strange ideas ladies had. ‘As if
-any accident, or death, or<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77"></a>{77}</span> burial could be half so important as
-business,’ he said, with the half sneer which we all use as a disguise
-to our thoughts. And some of the little party exclaimed, and some
-laughed with him. To be sure, a man in business, like Harry Gresham, or
-a man of the world, like his brother, must be less startled by such
-communications than such quiet country people as we were. That was easy
-enough to see.</p>
-
-<p>That same night, when I came across from the Lodge, where I had been
-spending the evening, Dinglewood stood blazing out against the sky with
-all its windows lighted up. Sir Thomas, who was walking across the Green
-with me, as it was so fine a night, saw me turn my head that way and
-looked too. The whole house had the air of being lighted up for an
-illumination. It always had; it revealed itself, its different floors,
-and even the use of its different rooms to all the world by its lights.
-The Greshams were the kind of people who have every new improvement that
-money can procure. They made gas for themselves, and lighted up the
-entire house, in that curious mercantile, millionaire way which you
-never see in a real great house. Sir Thomas’s look followed mine, and he
-shook his gray head a little.</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope no harm will come of it,’ he said; ‘they are going very fast
-over there, Mrs. Mulgrave. I hope they are able to keep it up.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Able!’ said I, ‘they are frightfully rich;’ and I felt half aggrieved
-by the very supposition.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ said Sir Thomas, ‘they would need to be rich. For a little while
-that may do; but I don’t think any man in business can be rich enough to
-stand that sort of thing for a long time together.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, they can bear it, no doubt,’ I said, impatient of Sir Thomas’s
-old-fashioned ways. ‘Of course it was very different in the Coventrys’
-time.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, in the Coventrys’ time,’ said Sir Thomas regretfully; ‘one does not
-often get such neighbours as the Coventrys. Take care of that stone. And
-now, here we are at your door.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Good-night!’ said I, ‘and many thanks;’ but I stood outside a little in
-the balmy evening air, as Sir Thomas went home across the Green. I could
-not see Dinglewood from my door, and the Lodge, which was opposite,
-glimmered in a very different way, with faint candles in Lady Denzil’s
-chamber, and some of the servants’ sleeping rooms, and the soft white
-lamp-light in the windows below; domestic and necessary lights, not like
-the blaze in the new house. Sir Thomas plodded quietly home, with his
-gray head bent and his hands behind him under his coat, in the musing
-tranquillity of old age; and a certain superstitious feeling came over
-me. It was my gaze at the illuminated house which made him say those
-uncomfortable words. I felt as if I had attracted to the Greshams, poor
-children, in their gaiety and heedlessness, the eye of some sleeping
-Fate.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78"></a>{78}</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I have</span> often been impatient in reading books, to find the story go on
-from one party to another, from one ball to another, as if life had
-nothing more important in it. But sometimes no doubt it does happen so.
-The life of the Greshams was made up of balls and parties; they were
-never alone; Dinglewood blazed out to the skies every evening, and the
-carriages flashed out and in, and one kind of merry-making or another
-went on all day. Lottie Stoke was there continually, and there grew up a
-curious friendship, half strife, half accord, between Gerald and
-herself. He had nothing to do with the business as it turned out, and
-consequently was not half so rich as his brother. But still he was very
-well off. I don’t know what it is about people in business which gives
-them a kind of primitive character: they are less sophisticated than the
-rest of us, though possibly not more simple. The Greshams took a simple
-pleasure in pleasure for itself, without making it a mere medium for
-other things, as most of us do. They were fond of company, fond of
-dancing, delighted with picnics, and even with croquet, without any
-ulterior motive, like children. They were fond even of their wealth,
-which gave them so many pretty and so many pleasant things. They enjoyed
-it with all their hearts, and took an innocent, foolish delight in it,
-which spiteful people set down to purse-pride; but which in reality was
-more like the open satisfaction of children in their dear possessions.
-Gerald was a very different being: I never saw him without feeling that
-his visit was not a mere visit, but had some motive in it. Before Lottie
-roused him to talk and battle with her, he would look on at their great
-parties with a curious, anxious, dissatisfied air, as if he suspected or
-feared something. I think poor Lottie went further than she meant to go:
-she grew interested herself, when she had meant only to interest him,
-and was more excited by his presence than he was by hers. They carried
-on a kind of perpetual duel, very amusing to the spectators: and there
-was no doubt that he liked it. But he liked Lucy’s funny little shy
-speeches too; and he had some interest more absorbing, more serious than
-either, which made his face very grave when the two girls were not
-there. Harry Gresham had sometimes the air of getting impatient of his
-brother’s presence. Now and then they passed my house walking together,
-and not enjoying their walk, according to appearances. Once as I stood
-at my gate I heard Harry say sharply, ‘In any case Ada has her
-settlement,’ with a defiant air. And Gerald’s face was full of
-remonstrance and expostulation. I could not help taking a great interest
-in these young people, and feeling a little anxious at the general
-aspect of affairs.</p>
-
-<p>Things were in this state when the ball was given on Mrs.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79"></a>{79}</span> Gresham’s
-birthday. I had nobody to take charge of for a wonder, and nothing to do
-but look on. The entire suite of rooms was thrown open, ablaze with
-light and sweet with flowers. There were great banks of geraniums in
-every corner where they could be piled, and the whole neighbourhood had
-been ravaged for roses. The room in which I took refuge was the smallest
-of all, which had been old Lady Sarah’s boudoir in old times, and was a
-little removed from the dancing, and cooler than the rest. It had one
-little projecting window, not large enough to be called a bay, which
-looked out upon the terrace just above the spot where the old couple
-used to sit in the summer days. It was open, and the moon streamed in,
-making a curious contrast with the floods of artificial light. Looking
-out from it, you could see the Thames, like a silver ribbon, at the
-bottom or the slope, and the little island and the little house gleaming
-out white, with intense black shadows. Lottie Stoke came up to me while
-I stood at the window, and looked out over my shoulder. ‘It looks like
-the ghost of the river and the ghost of the island,’ she said, putting
-her pretty arm round my waist with an agitated grasp. ‘I almost think we
-are all ghosts too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘A curious moment to think so,’ said Gerald Gresham. My back was turned
-to them, so that I did not see him, but there sounded something like a
-thrill of excitement in the half laugh of his voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not curious at all,’ said Lottie: ‘how many of us are really here do
-you think? I know where Mrs. Mulgrave is. She is outside on the terrace
-with old Lady Sarah, listening to the old people’s talk, though I am
-holding her fast all the same. We are in all sorts of places the real
-halves of us, but our doubles do the dancing and the laughing, and eat
-the ices quite as well. It is chilly to be a ghost,’ said Lottie with a
-laugh; ‘come in from the window, I am sure there is a draught there.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There is no draught,’ said Gerald; ‘you are afraid of being obliged to
-go into particulars, that is all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am not in the least afraid,’ said Lottie. ‘There is Mrs. Damerel. She
-is in the nursery at the rectory, though you think you have her here.
-She is counting Agatha’s curl-papers to see if there is the right
-number, for children are never properly attended to when the mother’s
-eye is wanting. I don’t know where you are, Mr. Gerald Gresham; that
-would be too delicate an inquiry. But look, your brother has gone upon
-‘Change, though he is in the middle of his guests. He looks as like
-business as if he had all the Reduced Consols on his mind; he looks as
-if&mdash;&mdash; good heavens!’</p>
-
-<p>Lottie stopped, and her tone was so full of alarm and astonishment, that
-I turned suddenly round to look too, in a fright. Harry Gresham was
-standing at the door; he had a yellow envelope in his hand, another of
-those terrible telegrams which are always bringing misery. He had turned
-round unawares facing us, and facing the stream of people who were
-always<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80"></a>{80}</span> coming and going. I never saw in all my life so ghastly a face.
-It showed the more that he was so ruddy and cheerful by nature. In a
-moment every tinge of colour had disappeared from it. His mouth was
-drawn down, his blue eyes looked awful, shrinking back as it were among
-the haggard lines of the eyelids. The sight of him struck Lottie dumb,
-and came upon me like a touch of horror. But Gerald, it was evident, was
-not taken by surprise. Some crisis which he had been looking for had
-come at last.</p>
-
-<p>‘He has had some bad news,’ he said; ‘excuse me, my mother is ill&mdash;it
-must be that;’ and he went through the stream of guests, fording the
-current as it were with noiseless rapidity. As for Lottie, she drew me
-back into the recess of the window and clung to me and cried&mdash;but not
-for Harry Gresham. Her nerves were at the highest strain, and broke down
-under this last touch; that was all.</p>
-
-<p>‘I knew something was going to happen,’ she said. ‘I felt it in the air;
-but I never thought it was coming upon <i>them</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It must be his mother,’ I said, though I did not think so. ‘Hush,
-Lottie! Don’t frighten <i>her</i>, poor child.’</p>
-
-<p>Lottie was used to restraining herself, and the tears relieved her. She
-dried her eyes and gave me a nervous hug as she loosed her arm from my
-waist.</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot stand this any longer,’ she said; ‘I must go and dance, or
-something. I know there is trouble coming, and if I sit quiet I shall
-make a fool of myself. But you will help them if you can,’ she cried in
-my ear. Alas! what could I do?</p>
-
-<p>By the time she left me the brothers had disappeared, and after half an
-hour’s waiting, as nothing seemed to come of it, and as the heat
-increased I went to the window again. The moon had gone off the house,
-but still shone white and full on the lawn like a great sheet of silvery
-gauze, bound and outlined by the blackest shadow. My mind had gone away
-from that temporary interruption. I was not thinking about the Greshams
-at all, when all at once I heard a rustle under the window. When I
-looked down two figures were standing there in the shadow. I thought at
-first they were robbers, perhaps murderers, waiting to waylay some one.
-All my self-command could not restrain a faint exclamation. There seemed
-a little struggle going on between the two. ‘You don’t know her,’ said
-the one; ‘why should you trust her?’ ‘She is safer than the servants,’
-said the other, ‘and she is fond of poor Ada.’ If my senses had not been
-quickened by excitement and alarm I should never have heard what they
-said. Then something white was held up to me in a hand that trembled.</p>
-
-<p>‘Give it to Ada&mdash;when you can,’ said Harry Gresham in a quick,
-breathless, imperative voice.</p>
-
-<p>I took the bit of paper and clutched it in my hand, not knowing what I
-did, and then stood stupefied, and saw them glide down in the dark
-shadow of the house towards the river. Where<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81"></a>{81}</span> were they going? What had
-happened? This could be no sudden summons to a mother’s death-bed. They
-went cautiously in the darkness the two brothers, keeping among the
-trees; leaning out of the window as far as I could, I saw Gerald’s
-slighter figure and poor Harry’s portly one emerge into the moonlight
-close to the river, just upon the public road. Then I felt some one pull
-me on the other side. It was Lottie who had come back, excited, to ask
-if I had found out anything.</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought you were going to stretch out of the window altogether,’ she
-said, with a half-suspicious glance; and I held my bit of paper tight,
-with my fan in my other hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘I was looking at the moon,’ I said. ‘It is a lovely night. I am sorry
-it has gone off the house. And then the rooms are so hot inside.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should like to walk on the terrace,’ said Lottie, ‘but my cavalier
-has left me. I was engaged to him for this dance, and he has never come
-to claim it. Where has he gone?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I suppose he must have left the room,’ I said. ‘I suppose it is their
-mother who is ill; perhaps they have slipped out quietly not to disturb
-the guests. If that is the case, you should go and stand by Mrs.
-Gresham, Lottie. She will want your help.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But they never would be so unkind as to steal away like this and leave
-everything to Ada!’ cried Lottie. ‘Never! Harry Gresham would not do it
-for twenty mothers. As for Gerald, I dare say <i>any</i> excuse&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>And here she stopped short, poor girl, with an air of exasperation, and
-looked ready to cry again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Never mind,’ I said; ‘go to Mrs. Gresham. Don’t say anything, Lottie,
-but stand by her. She may want it, for anything we know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘As you stood by us,’ said Lottie affectionately; and then she added
-with a sigh and a faint little smile, ‘But it never could be so bad as
-that with them.’</p>
-
-<p>I did not make her any reply. I was faint and giddy with fear and
-excitement; and just then, of course, Admiral Fortis’s brother, a hazy
-old gentleman, who was there on a visit, and <i>havered</i> for hours
-together, whenever he could get a listener, hobbled up to me. He had got
-me into a corner as it were, and built entrenchments round me before I
-knew, and then he began his longest story of how his brother had been
-appointed to the <i>Bellerophon</i>, and how it was his interest that did it.
-The thing had happened half a century before, and the Admiral had not
-been at sea at all for half that time, and here was a present tragedy
-going on beside us, and the message of fate crushed up with my fan in my
-hand. Lottie Stoke made her appearance in the doorway several times,
-casting appealing looks at me. Once she beckoned, and pointed
-energetically to the drawing-room in which poor little Mrs. Gresham was.
-But when I got time to think, as I did while the old man was talking, I
-thought it was best, on the whole, to defer giving my letter, whatever<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82"></a>{82}</span>
-it was. It could not be anything trifling or temporary which made the
-master of the house steal away in the darkness. I have had a good many
-things put into my hands to manage, but I don’t think I ever had
-anything so difficult as this. For I did not know, and could not divine,
-what the sudden misfortune was which I had to conceal from the world.
-All this time Mr. Fortis went on complacently with his talk about the
-old salt-water lords who were dead and gone. He stood over me, and was
-very animated; and I had to look up to him, and nod and smile, and
-pretend to listen. What ghosts we were, as Lottie said! My head began to
-swim at last as Mr. Fortis’s words buzzed in my ear. ‘<span class="lftspc">“</span><i>My lord,” I
-said, “my brother’s services&mdash;not to speak of my own family
-influence&mdash;</i>”<span class="lftspc">’</span> This formed a kind of chorus to it, and came in again and
-again. He was only in the middle of his narrative when Lottie came up,
-making her way through all obstacles. She was trembling, too, with
-excitement which had less foundation than mine.</p>
-
-<p>‘I can’t find Mr. Gresham anywhere,’ she whispered. ‘He is not in any of
-the rooms; none of the servants have seen him, and it is time for
-supper. What are we to do?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is Ada alarmed?’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘No; she is such a child,’ said Lottie. ‘But she is beginning to wonder.
-Come and say something to her. Come and do something. Don’t sit for ever
-listening to that tiresome old man. I shall go crazy if you do not come;
-and she dancing as if nothing had happened!’</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Fortis had waited patiently while this whispering went on. When I
-turned to him again he went on the same as ever. ‘This was all to the
-senior sea-lord, you understand, Mrs. Mulgrave. As for the other&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope you will tell me the rest another time,’ I said, like a
-hypocrite. ‘I must go to Mrs. Gresham. Lottie has come to fetch me. I am
-so sorry&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t say anything about it,’ said Mr. Fortis. ‘I shall find an
-opportunity,’ and he offered me his arm. I had to walk with him looking
-quite at my ease through all those pretty groups, one and another
-calling to me as I passed. ‘Oh, please tell me if my wreath is all
-right,’ Nelly Fortis whispered, drawing me from her uncle. ‘Mrs.
-Mulgrave, will you look if I am torn?’ cried another. Then pair after
-pair of dancers came whirling along, making progress dangerous. Such a
-sight at any time, when one is past the age at which one takes a
-personal interest in it, is apt to suggest a variety of thoughts; but at
-this moment! Lottie hovered about me, a kind of <i>avant-coureur</i>,
-clearing the way for me. There was something amazing to me in her
-excitement, especially as, just at the moment when she was labouring to
-open a way for me, Ada Gresham went flying past, her blue eyes shining,
-her cheeks more like roses than ever. She gave me a smiling little nod
-as her white dress swept over my dark one, and was gone to the opposite
-end of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83"></a>{83}</span> the room before I could say a word. Lottie drew her breath hard
-at the sight. Her sigh sounded shrill as it breathed past me. ‘Baby!’
-she whispered. ‘Doll!’ And then the tears came to her eyes. I was
-startled beyond description by her looks. Had she come to <i>care for</i>
-Gerald in the midst of that worldly dreadful scheme of hers? or what did
-her agitation mean?</p>
-
-<p>It was time for supper however, and the elders of the party began to
-look for it; and there were a good many people wondering and inquiring
-where was Mr. Gresham? where were the brothers? Young ladies stood with
-injured faces, who had been engaged to dance with Harry or Gerald; and
-Ada herself, when her waltz was over, began to look about anxiously. By
-this time I had got rid of Mr. Fortis, and made up my mind what to do. I
-went up to her and stopped her just as she was asking one of the
-gentlemen had he seen her husband?&mdash;where was Harry? I kept Harry’s bit
-of paper fast in my hand. I felt by instinct that to give her that would
-only make matters worse. I made up the best little story I could about
-old Mrs. Gresham’s illness.</p>
-
-<p>‘They both went off quite quietly, not to disturb the party,’ I said. ‘I
-was to put off telling you as long as I could, my dear, not to spoil
-your pleasure. They could not help themselves. They were very much put
-out at the thought of leaving you. But Sir Thomas will take Mr.
-Gresham’s place; and you know they were obliged to go.’</p>
-
-<p>Tears sprang to poor Ada’s eyes. ‘Oh, how unkind of Harry,’ she cried,
-‘to go without telling me. As if I should have kept on dancing had I
-known. I don’t understand it at all&mdash;to tell you, and go without a word
-to me!’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear, he would not spoil your pleasure,’ I said; ‘and it would have
-been so awkward to send all these people away. And you know she may get
-better after all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is true,’ said easy-minded Ada. ‘It <i>would</i> have been awkward
-breaking up the party. But it is odd about mamma. She was quite well
-yesterday. She was to have been here to-night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, it must have been something sudden,’ I cried, at the end of my
-invention. ‘Shall I call Sir Thomas? What can I do to be a help to you?
-You must be Mr. and Mrs. Gresham both in one for to-night.’</p>
-
-<p>Ada put her laced handkerchief up to her eyes and smiled a little faint
-smile. ‘Will <i>you</i> tell Sir Thomas?’ she said. ‘I feel so bewildered I
-don’t know what to do.’</p>
-
-<p>Then I commenced another progress in search of Sir Thomas, Lottie Stoke
-still hovering about me as pale as a spirit. She took my arm as we went
-on. ‘Was that all a story?’ she whispered in my ear, clasping my arm
-tightly with her hands. I made her no answer; I dared not venture even
-to let her see my face. I went and told the same story very
-circumstantially over again to Sir Thomas. I hope it was not a great
-sin;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84"></a>{84}</span> indeed it might be quite true for anything I could tell. It was
-the only natural way of accounting for their mysterious absence; and
-everybody was extremely sorry, of course, and behaved as well as
-possible. Old Mrs. Gresham was scarcely known at Dinglewood, and Ada, it
-was evident, was not very profoundly affected after the first minute by
-the news, so that, on the whole, the supper-table was lively enough, and
-the very young people even strayed into the dancing-room after it. But
-of course we knew better than that when trouble had come to the house.
-It was not much above one o’clock in the morning when they were all
-gone. I pretended to go too, shaking off Lottie Stoke as best I could,
-and keeping out of sight in a corner while they all streamed away. On
-the whole, I think public opinion was in favour of Harry Gresham’s quiet
-departure without making any disturbance. ‘He was a very good son,’
-people said: and then some of them speculated if the poor lady died, how
-Harry and his wife would manage to live in the quietness which family
-affliction demanded. ‘They will bore each other to death,’ said a lively
-young man. ‘Oh, they are devoted to each other!’ cried a young lady. Not
-a suspicion entered any one’s mind. The explanation was quite
-satisfactory to everybody but Lottie Stoke; but then she had seen Harry
-Gresham’s face.</p>
-
-<p>When I had made quite sure that every one was gone, I stole back quietly
-into the blazing deserted rooms. Had I ever been disposed to moralize
-over the scene of a concluded feast, it certainly would not have been at
-that moment. Yet there was something pathetic in the look of the
-place&mdash;brilliant as day, with masses of flowers everywhere, and that air
-of lavish wealth, prodigality, luxury&mdash;and to feel that one carried in
-one’s hand something that might turn it into the scene of a tragedy, and
-wind up its bright story with the darkest conclusion. My heart beat loud
-as I went in. My poor little victim was still in the dancing-room&mdash;the
-largest and brightest of all. She had thrown herself down on a sofa,
-with her arms flung over her head like a tired child. Tears were
-stealing down her pretty cheeks. Her mouth was pouting and melancholy.
-When she saw me she rose with a sudden start, half annoyed, half
-pleased, to have some one to pour out her troubles upon. ‘I can’t help
-crying,’ she said. ‘I don’t mean to blame Harry; but it was unkind of
-him to go away without saying a word to me. We never, never parted in
-that way before;’ and from tears the poor little woman fell into
-sobs&mdash;grievous, innocent sobs, all about nothing, that broke one’s
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have come to tell you something,’ I said, ‘though I don’t know myself
-what it is. I am afraid it is something worse than you think. I said
-<i>that</i> because your brother-in-law said it; but I don’t believe it is
-anything about Mrs. Gresham. Your husband put this into my hand through
-the window as he went away. Take courage, dear. You want all your
-courage&mdash;you must keep up for the sake of the children, Ada!’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85"></a>{85}</span></p>
-
-<p>I babbled on, not knowing what words I used, and she stared at me with
-bewildered eyes. ‘Into your hand through the window!’ she said. She
-could not understand. She looked at the paper as if it were a charm.
-Then she opened it slowly, half afraid, half stupefied. Its meaning did
-not seem to penetrate her mind at first. After a while she gave a loud
-sudden shriek, and turned her despairing eyes on me. Her cry was so
-piercing and sudden that it rang through the house and startled every
-one. She was on the verge of hysterics, and incapable of understanding
-what was said to her, but the sight of the servants rushing to the door
-to ask what was the matter brought her to herself. She made a brave
-effort and recovered something like composure, while I sent them away;
-and then she held out to me the letter which she had clutched in her
-hand. It was written in pencil, and some words were illegible. This was
-what Harry said:&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>‘Something unexpected has happened to me, my darling. I am obliged
-to leave you without time even to say good-bye. You will know all
-about it only too soon. It is ruin, Ada&mdash;and it is my own
-fault&mdash;but I never meant to defraud any man. God knows I never
-meant it. Try and keep up your heart, dear; I believe it will blow
-over, and you will be able to join me. I will write to you as soon
-as I am safe. You have your settlement. Don’t let anybody persuade
-you to tamper with your settlement. My father will take care of
-that. Why should you and the children share my ruin? Forgive me,
-dearest, for the trouble I have brought on you. I dare not pause to
-think of it. Gerald is with me. If they come after me, say I have
-gone to Bishop’s Hope.’</p></div>
-
-<p>‘What does it mean?’ cried poor Ada close to my ear. ‘Oh, tell me, you
-are our friend! What does it mean?’</p>
-
-<p>‘God knows,’ I said. My own mind could not take it in, still less could
-I express the vague horrors that floated across me. We sat together with
-the lights blazing round us, the grand piano open, the musicians’ stands
-still in their places. Ada was dressed like a queen of fairies, or of
-flowers: her gown was white, covered with showers of rosebuds; and she
-had a crown of natural roses in her bright hair. I don’t know how it was
-that her dress and appearance suddenly impressed themselves on me at
-that moment. It was the horror of the contrast, I suppose. She looked me
-piteously in the face, giving up all attempt at thought for her own
-part, seeking the explanation from me. ‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Why has
-he gone away? Who is coming after him? Oh, my Harry! my Harry!’ the poor
-young creature moaned. What could I say? I took her in my arms and
-kissed her. I could do no more.</p>
-
-<p>At this moment there came a loud knocking at the door. The house had
-fallen into deadly stillness, and at that hour of the night, and in the
-state we were, the sound was horrible. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86"></a>{86}</span> rang through the place as if
-it had been uninhabited, waking echoes everywhere. Ada’s very lips grew
-white&mdash;she clasped her small hands over mine holding me fast. ‘It is
-some one who has forgotten something,’ I said, but my agitation was so
-great that I felt a difficulty in speaking. We sat and listened in
-frightful suspense while the door was opened and the sound of voices
-reached us. It was not Harry who had come back; it was not any one
-belonging to the place. Suddenly Ada rushed to the door with a flash of
-momentary petulance which simulated strength. ‘If it is any one for Mr.
-Gresham, bring him in here,’ she cried imperiously. I hurried after her
-and took her hand. It was like touching an electric machine. She was so
-strung to the highest pitch that only to touch her made me thrill and
-vibrate all over. And then the two men&mdash;two homely black
-figures&mdash;startled even in spite of their acquaintance with strange
-sights, came hesitatingly forward into the blazing light to confront the
-flower-crowned, jewelled, dazzling creature, made up of rose and lily,
-and diamond and pearl. They stood thunderstruck before her,
-notwithstanding the assurance of their trade. Probably they had never in
-their lives seen such an apparition before. The foremost of the two took
-off his hat with a look of deprecation. I do not think Ada had the least
-idea who they were. They were her husband’s enemies, endowed with a
-certain dignity by that fact. But I knew in a moment, by instinct, that
-they must be London detectives in search of him, and that the very worst
-possibility of my fears had come true.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot tell what we said to these men or they to us; they were not
-harsh nor unfeeling; they were even startled and awe-struck in their
-rough way, and stepped across the room cautiously, as if afraid of
-hurting something. We had to take them over all the house, through the
-rooms in which not a single light had been extinguished. To see us in
-our ball dresses, amid all that silent useless blaze of light, leading
-these men about, must have been a dreadful sight. For my part, though my
-share in it was nothing, I felt my limbs shake under me when we had gone
-over all the rooms below. But Ada took them all over the house. They
-asked her questions and she answered them in her simplicity. Crime might
-have fled out of that honest, joyous home, but it was innocence, candid
-and open, with nothing to conceal, which dwelt there. I had to interfere
-at last and tell them we would answer no more questions; and then they
-comforted and encouraged us in their way. ‘With this fine house and all
-these pretty things you’ll have a good bit of money yet,’ said the
-superior of the two; ‘and if Mr. Gresham was to pay up, they might come
-to terms.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then is it debt?’ cried I, with a sudden bound of hope.</p>
-
-<p>The man gave a short laugh. ‘It’s debt to the law,’ he said. ‘It’s
-felony, and that’s bad; but if you could give us a bit of a clue to
-where he is, and this young lady would see ’em and try, why it mightn’t
-be so bad after all. Folks often lets a gentleman go when they won’t let
-a common man.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87"></a>{87}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Would money do it?’ cried poor Ada; ‘and I have my settlement. Oh, I
-will give you anything, everything I have, if you’ll let my poor Harry
-go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘We haven’t got him yet, ma’am,’ said the man. ‘If you can find us any
-clue&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>And it was then I interfered; I could not permit them to go on with
-their cunning questions to poor Ada. When they went away she sank down
-on a sofa near that open window in the boudoir from which I had seen
-Harry disappear. The window had grown by this time ‘a glimmering
-square,’ full of the blue light of early dawn. The birds began to chirp
-and stir in the trees; the air which had been so soft and refreshing
-grew chill, and made us shiver in our light dresses; the roses in Ada’s
-hair began to fade and shed their petals silently over her white
-shoulders. As long as the men were present she had been perfectly
-self-possessed; now suddenly she burst into a wild torrent of tears.
-‘Oh, Harry, my Harry, where is he? Why did not he take me with him?’ she
-cried. I cannot say any more, though I think every particular of that
-dreadful night is burned in on my memory. Such a night had never
-occurred in my recollection before.</p>
-
-<p>Then I got Ada to go to bed, and kept off from her the sleepy, insolent
-man in powder who came to know if he was to sit up for master. ‘Your
-master has gone to Bishop’s Hope,’ I said, ‘and will not return
-to-night.’ The fellow received what I said with a sneer. He knew as
-well, or perhaps better than we did, what had happened. Everybody would
-know it next day. The happy house had toppled down like a house of
-cards. Nothing was left but the helpless young wife, the unconscious
-babies, to fight their battle with the world. There are moments when the
-sense of a new day begun is positive pain. When poor Ada fell into a
-troubled sleep, I wrapped myself up and opened the window and let in the
-fresh morning air. Looking out over the country, I felt as if I could
-see everything. There was no charitable shadow now to hide a flying
-figure: every eye would be upon him, every creature spying his flight.
-Where was Harry? When I looked at the girl asleep&mdash;she was but a girl,
-notwithstanding her babies&mdash;and thought of the horror she would wake to,
-it made my heart sick. And her mother was dead. There seemed no one to
-stand by her in her trouble but a stranger like me.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">When</span> Ada woke however, instead of being, as I was, more hopeless, she
-was almost sanguine. ‘There is my money, you know,’ she said. ‘After
-all, so long as it is only money&mdash;I will go and see them, as the men
-said, and they will come to terms. So long as we are together, what do I
-mind whether we have a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88"></a>{88}</span> large house or a little one? And Harry himself
-speaks of my settlement. Don’t cry. I was frightened last night; but now
-I see what to do. Will you come up to town with me by the twelve o’clock
-train? And you shall see all will come right.’</p>
-
-<p>I had not the heart to say a word. I went home, and changed that
-wretched evening dress which I had worn all through the night. It was a
-comfort to throw it off and cast it away from me; and I never wore it
-again; the very sight of it made me ill ever after. I found Ada almost
-in high spirits with the strength of her determination and certainty
-that she was going to redeem her husband and make all right, when I went
-back. Just before noon however, when she was putting on her bonnet to
-start, a carriage swept up to the door. I was at the window of the
-dining-room when it came in sight, waiting for the brougham to convey us
-to the station. And the rector and his wife were coming up the avenue
-with ‘kind inquiries,’ in full belief that old Mrs. Gresham was dying,
-and that the house was ‘in affliction.’ No wonder they started and
-stared at the sight. It was old Mrs. Gresham herself, in her pink
-ribbons, fresh and full and splendid, in robust health, and all the
-colours of the rainbow, who came dashing up with her stately bays, to
-the door.</p>
-
-<p>I had only time to realize that all our little attempts to keep up
-appearances were destroyed for ever when the old people came in; for
-Harry’s father had come too, though no one ever noticed him in presence
-of his wife. Mrs. Gresham came in smiling and gracious, in her usual
-affable and rather overwhelming way. She would have dismissed me
-majestically before she went to her daughter-in-law, but I was in
-reality too obtuse, by reason of fatigue and excitement, to understand
-what she meant. When she went to Ada the old man remained with me. He
-was not an attractive old man, and I had scarcely spoken to him before.
-He walked about the room looking at everything, while I sat by the
-window. If he had been an auctioneer valuing the furniture, he could not
-have been more particular in his investigations. He examined the
-handsome oak furniture, which was the envy of the Green, the immense
-mirrors, the great china vases, the pictures on the walls, as if making
-a mental calculation. Then he came and stood by me, and began to talk.
-‘In my time young people were not so extravagant,’ he said. ‘There are
-thousands of pounds, I believe, sunk in this house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr. Gresham had a great deal of taste,’ I said faltering.</p>
-
-<p>‘Taste! Nonsense. You mean waste,’ said the old man, sitting down
-astride on a carved chair, and looking at me across the back of it. ‘But
-I admit the things have their value&mdash;they’ll sell. Of course you know
-Harry has got into a mess?’ he went on. ‘Women think they can hush up
-these things; but that’s impossible. He has behaved like an idiot, and
-he must take the consequences. Fortunately the family is provided for.
-Her friends need not be concerned in that respect.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am very glad,’ said I, as it was necessary to say something.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89"></a>{89}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘So am I,’ said old Mr. Gresham. ‘I suppose they would have come upon
-<i>me</i> if that had not been the case. It’s a bad business; but it is not
-so bad as it might have been. I can’t make out how a son of mine should
-have been such an ass. But they all go so fast in these days. I suppose
-you had a very grand ball last night? A ball!’ he repeated, with a sort
-of snort. I don’t know if there was any fatherly feeling at all in the
-man, but if there was he hid it under this mask of harshness and
-contempt.</p>
-
-<p>‘Will not Mr. Gresham return?’ I asked foolishly; but my mind was too
-much worn out to have full control of what I said.</p>
-
-<p>The old man gave a shrug, and glanced at me with a mixture of scorn and
-suspicion. ‘I can’t say what may happen in the future,’ he said dryly.
-‘I should advise him not. But Ada can live where she likes&mdash;and she will
-not be badly off.’</p>
-
-<p>Old Mrs. Gresham stayed a long time up-stairs with her daughter-in-law;
-so long that my patience almost deserted me. Mr. Gresham went off, after
-sitting silent opposite to me for some time, to look over the house,
-which was a relief; and no doubt I might have gone too, for we were far
-too late for the train. But I was too anxious to go away. When the two
-came down the old lady was just as cheerful and overwhelming as usual,
-though poor Ada was deadly pale. Mrs. Gresham came in with her rich,
-bustling, prosperous look, and shook hands with me over again. ‘I am
-sure I beg your pardon,’ she said; ‘I had so much to say to Ada. We have
-not met for a whole month; and poor child, they gave her such a fright
-last night. My dear, don’t you mean to give us some luncheon? Grandpapa
-never takes lunch; you need not wait for him, but I am quite hungry
-after my long drive.’</p>
-
-<p>Then poor Ada rose and rang the bell; she was trembling so that she
-tottered as she moved. I saw that her lips were dry, and she could
-scarcely speak. She gave her orders so indistinctly that the man could
-not hear her. ‘Luncheon!’ cried the old lady in her imperious way.
-‘Can’t you hear what Mrs. Gresham says? Lunch directly&mdash;and tell my
-people to be at the door in an hour. Ada, a man who stared in my face
-like that, and pretended not to understand, should not stay another day
-in my house; you are a great deal too easy. So your ball was interrupted
-last night, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she went on with a laugh, ‘and the blame
-laid on me. Oh, those boys! I hope the good people hereabouts will not
-take offence. I will never forgive them, though, for giving Ada such a
-fright, poor child. She thought I was dying, I suppose; and it was only
-one of Gerald’s sporting scrapes. Some horse was being tampered with,
-and he would have lost thousands if they had not rushed off; so they
-made out I was dying, the wretched boys. Ha, ha! I don’t look much like
-dying to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, indeed,’ was all I could say. As for Ada she never opened her white
-lips, except to breathe in little gasps like a woman in a fever. The old
-lady had all the weight of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90"></a>{90}</span> conversation to bear; and indeed she was
-talking not for our benefit, but for that of the servants, who were
-bringing the luncheon. She looked so rich and assured of herself that I
-think they were staggered in their certainty of misfortune and believed
-her for the moment. The young footman, who had just been asking me
-privately to speak a word for him to secure him another place, gave me a
-stealthy imploring look, begging me as it were not to betray him. The
-old gentleman was out, going over the house and grounds, but Mrs.
-Gresham ate a very good luncheon and continued her large and ample talk.
-‘They sent me a message this morning,’ she said, as she ate, ‘and
-ordered me to come over and make their excuses and set things right.
-Just like boys! Give me some sherry, John Thomas. I shall scold them
-well, I promise you, when they come back&mdash;upsetting poor Ada’s nerves,
-and turning the house upside down like this. I don’t know what Ada would
-have done without you, Mrs. Mulgrave; and I hear you had their
-stable-men, trainers, or whatever they call them, to puzzle you too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said, struck dumb with wonder. Was this all an invention, or
-was she herself deceived? Poor Ada sat with her eyes cast down, and
-never spoke except in monosyllables; she could scarcely raise to her
-lips the wine which her mother-in-law made her swallow. I could not but
-admire the energy and determination of the woman. But at the same time
-she bewildered me, as she sat eating and drinking, with her elbow on the
-table and her rich lace mantle sweeping over the white tablecloth,
-conversing in this confident way. To meet her eyes, which had not a
-shade of timidity or doubt about them, and see her evident comfort and
-enjoyment, and believe she was telling a downright lie, was almost more
-than was possible. ‘I did not know Mr. Gerald was a racing man,’ I
-faltered, not knowing what to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, he is on the turf,’ said Mrs. Gresham, shrugging her
-shoulders; ‘he is on everything that don’t pay. That boy has been a
-nuisance all his life. Not that there is anything bad about him; but
-he’s fashionable, you know, and we are known to be rich, and everybody
-gives him his own way; and Harry’s such a good brother&mdash;&mdash;’ said the
-rash woman all at once, to show how much at her ease she was. But this
-was taking a step too much. Ada could bear it no longer. There was a
-sudden sound of choking sobs, and then she sprang from the table. The
-strain had gone too far.</p>
-
-<p>‘I hear baby crying; I must go to baby,’ she sobbed; and rushed from the
-room without any regard to appearances. Even Mrs. Gresham,
-self-possessed as she was, had gone too far for her own strength. Her
-lip quivered in spite of herself. She looked steadily down, and crumbled
-the bread before her in her strong agitated fingers. Then she gave a
-little laugh, which was not much less significant than tears.</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor little Ada,’ she said, ‘she can’t bear to be crossed. She<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91"></a>{91}</span> has had
-such a happy life, when anything goes contrairy it puts her out.’
-Perhaps it was the quivering of her own lip that brought back her
-vernacular. And then we began to discuss the ball as if nothing had
-happened. Her husband came in while we were talking, and shrugged his
-shoulders and muttered disapprobation, but she took no notice. She must
-have been aware that I knew all; and yet she thought she could bewilder
-me still.</p>
-
-<p>I went home shortly after, grieved and disgusted and sick at heart,
-remembering all the wicked stories people tell of mercantile dishonesty,
-of false bankruptcies, and downright robberies, and the culprits who
-escape and live in wealth and comfort abroad. This was how it was to be
-in the case of Harry Gresham. His wife had her settlement, and would go
-to him, and they would be rich, and well off, though he had as good as
-stolen his neighbour’s property and squandered it away. Of course I did
-not know all the particulars then; and I had got to be fond of these
-young people. I knew very well that Harry was not wicked, and that his
-little wife was both innocent and good. When one reads such stories in
-the papers, one says, ‘Wretches!’ and thinks no more of it. But these
-two were not wretches, and I was fond of them, and it made me sick at
-heart. I went up-stairs and shut myself into my own room, not being able
-to see visitors or to hear all the comment that, without doubt, was
-going on. But it did not mend matters when I saw from my window Mrs.
-Gresham driving past, lying back in her carriage, sweeping along swift
-as two superb horses could carry her, with her little old husband in the
-corner by her side, and a smile on her face, ready to wave her hand in
-gracious recognition of any one she knew. She was like a queen coming
-among us, rather than the mother of a man who had fled in darkness and
-shame. I never despised poor Mrs. Stoke or thought less of her for
-Everard’s downfall, but I felt scorn and disgust rise in my heart when
-these people passed my door; though Mrs. Gresham, too, was her son’s
-champion in her own worldly way.</p>
-
-<p>Some hours later Ada sent me a few anxious pleading words, begging me to
-go to her. I found her in the avenue, concealing herself among the
-trees; though it was a warm summer day she was cold and shivering. I do
-not know any word that can express her pallor. It was not the whiteness
-of death, but of agonized and miserable life, palpitating in every nerve
-and straining every faculty.</p>
-
-<p>‘Hush!’ she said. ‘Don’t go to the house&mdash;I can’t bear it&mdash;I am watching
-for him&mdash;here!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is he coming back?’ I cried in terror.</p>
-
-<p>‘I do not know; I can’t tell where he is, or where he is going!’ cried
-poor Ada, grasping my arm; ‘but if he should come back he would be
-taken. The house is watched. Did you not see that old man sitting under
-the hedge? There are people<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92"></a>{92}</span> everywhere about watching for my Harry; and
-they tell me I am to stay quiet and take no notice. I think I will
-die&mdash;I wish I could die!’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, my darling!’ I said, crying over her. ‘Tell me what it is? Did they
-bring you no comfort? He will not come back to be taken. There is no
-fear. Did they not tell you what it means?’</p>
-
-<p>‘They told me,’ cried Ada, with a violent colour flushing over her face,
-‘that I was to keep my money to myself, and not to pay back
-that&mdash;that&mdash;what he has taken! It is true; he has taken some money that
-was not his, and lost it; but he meant to pay it back again, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. We were so rich; he knew he could pay it all back. And now he
-has lost everything and can’t pay it. And they will put him in prison.
-Oh, I wish he had died! I wish we had all died!’ cried Ada, ‘rather than
-this&mdash;rather than to feel what I do to-day!’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ I cried, ‘don’t say so; we cannot die when we please. It is a
-terrible misfortune; but when he did not mean it&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>Great tears rushed to Ada’s eyes. ‘He did not mean <i>that</i>,’ she said;
-‘but I think he meant me to keep my money and live on it. Oh, what shall
-I do! They say I will be wicked if I give it up. I will work for him
-with all my heart. But I cannot go on living like this, and keep what is
-not mine. If your husband had done it, Mrs. Mulgrave&mdash;don’t be angry
-with me&mdash;would not you have sold the cottage and given up everything?
-And what am I to do?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You must come in and rest,’ I said. ‘Never mind what they said to you.
-You must do what is right, Ada, and Gerald will stand by you. He will
-know how to do it. Come in now and rest.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, Gerald!’ cried the poor child, and then she leant on my shoulder
-and cried. The moment she heard even the name of one man whom she could
-trust her strength broke down. ‘Gerald will know how to do it,’ she said
-faintly, as I led her in, and tried to smile at me. It was a gleam of
-comfort in the darkness.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot describe the period of terrible suspense that followed. I
-stayed with her, making no pretence of going back to my own house;
-though when the story came to be in the newspapers all my friends wrote
-letters to me and disapproved of my conduct. I did not care; one knows
-one’s own duties better than one’s friends do. The day after the ball
-hosts of cards, and civil messages, and ‘kind inquiries’ had poured upon
-Ada; but after that they totally stopped. Not a carriage nor a visitor
-came near the house for the three last days. The world fell away from us
-and left the poor young creature to bear her burden alone. In the midst
-or all this real suffering there was one little incident which affected
-my temper more than all the rest. Old Thomas Lee, an old man from the
-village, who used to carry little wares about in a basket, and made his
-living by it, had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93"></a>{93}</span> taken his place under the hedge close to the gates of
-Dinglewood, and sat there watching all day long. Of course he was paid
-to do it, and he was very poor. But I don’t think the money he has
-earned so has done him much good. I have never given a penny or a
-penny’s worth to old Lee since that time. Many a sixpence poor Harry had
-tossed at him as he passed in his Yankee waggon every morning to the
-station. I had no patience with the wretched old spy. He had the
-assurance to take off his hat to me when I went into the house he was
-watching, and I confess that it was with a struggle, no later back than
-last winter, when the season was at its coldest, that I consented to
-give him a little help for his children’s sake.</p>
-
-<p>It was nearly a week before we got any letters, and all these long days
-we watched and waited, glad when every night fell, trembling when every
-morning rose; watching at the windows, at the gates, everywhere that a
-peep could be had of the white, blinding, vacant road. Every time the
-postman went round the Green our hearts grew faint with anxiety: once or
-twice when the telegraph boy appeared, even I, though I was but a
-spectator, felt the life die out of my heart. But at last this period of
-dreadful uncertainty came to a close. It was in the morning by the first
-post that the letters came. They were under cover to me, and I took them
-to Ada’s room while she was still sleeping the restless sleep of
-exhaustion. She sprang up in a moment and caught at her husband’s letter
-as if it had been a revelation from heaven. The happiest news in the
-world could not have been more eagerly received. He was safe. He had put
-the Channel between him and his pursuers. There was no need for further
-watching. The relief in itself was a positive happiness. Ten days ago it
-would have been heart-rending to think of Harry Gresham as an escaped
-criminal, as an exile, for whom return was impossible; disgraced,
-nameless, and without hope. To-day the news was joyful news; he was
-safe, if nothing more.</p>
-
-<p>Then for the first time Ada indulged in the luxury of tears&mdash;tears that
-came in floods, like those thunder-showers which ease the hearts of the
-young. She threw herself on my neck and kissed me again and again. ‘I
-should have died but for you: I had no mamma of my own to go to,’ she
-sobbed like a baby. Perhaps the thing that made these childish words go
-so to my heart was that I had no child.</p>
-
-<p>Of course I expected, and everybody will expect, that after this
-excitement she should have fallen ill. But she did not. On the contrary,
-she came down-stairs with me and ate (almost for the first time) and
-smiled, and played with her children, while I stood by with the feeling
-that I ought to have a brain fever myself if Ada would not see what was
-expected of her. But as the day ran on she became grave, and ever
-graver. She said little, and it was mostly about Gerald; how he must
-come home and manage everything; how she was determined to take<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94"></a>{94}</span> no
-rest, to listen to no argument, till the money was paid. I went home to
-my own house that evening, and she made no opposition. I said good-night
-to her in the nursery, where she was sitting close by her little girl’s
-bed. She was crying, poor child, but I did not wonder at that; and nurse
-was a kind woman, and very attentive to her little mistress. I went
-round to the terrace and out by the garden, without having any
-particular reason for it. But before I reached the gate some one came
-tripping after me, and looking round I saw it was Ada, wrapped in a
-great waterproof cloak. She was going to walk home with me, she said. I
-resisted her coming, but it was in vain. It was a warm, balmy night, and
-I could not understand why she should have put on her great cloak. But
-as soon as she was safe in my little drawing-room, her secret came out.
-Then she opened her mantle with a smile. On one of her arms hung a
-bundle; on the other rested her sleeping baby. She laughed at my amaze,
-and then she cried. ‘I am going to Harry,’ she said; and held her child
-closer, and dried her eyes and sat immovable, ready to listen to
-anything I chose to say. Heaven knows I said everything I could think
-of&mdash;of the folly of it, of her foolhardiness; that she was totally
-unable for the task she was putting on herself; that Harry had Gerald,
-and could do without her. All which she listened to with a smile,
-impenetrable, and not to be moved. When I had come to an end of my
-arguments, she stretched out to me the arm on which the bundle hung, and
-drew me close to her and kissed me again. ‘You are going to give me some
-biscuits and a little flask of wine,’ she said, ‘to put in my pocket. I
-have one of the housekeeper’s old-fashioned pockets, which is of some
-use. And then you must say “God bless you,” and let me go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘God bless you, my poor child,’ I said, overcome; ‘but you must not go;
-little Ada too&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>Then her eyes filled with tears. ‘My pretty darling!’ she said; ‘but
-grandmamma will take her to Bishop’s Hope. It is only baby that cannot
-live without his mother. Baby and Harry. What is Gerald? I know he wants
-<i>me</i>.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But he can wait,’ I cried; ‘and you so young, so delicate, so unused to
-any trouble!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I can carry my child perfectly,’ said Ada. ‘I never was delicate. There
-is a train at eleven down to Southampton, I found it out in the book:
-and after that I know my way. I am a very good traveller,’ she said with
-a smile, ‘and Gerald must come to settle everything. Give me the
-biscuits, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, and kiss me and let me go.’</p>
-
-<p>And it had to be so, though I pleaded with her till I was hoarse. When
-the moment came, I put on my cloak too and walked with her, late as it
-was, a mile off to the new station, which both she and I had thought too
-far for walking in the cheerful daylight. I carried the bundle, while
-she carried the baby, and we looked like two homely country women
-trudging<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95"></a>{95}</span> home. She drew her hood over her head while she got her
-ticket, and I waited outside. Then in the dark I kissed her for the last
-time. I could not speak, nor did she. She took the bundle from me,
-grasping my hand with her soft fingers almost as a man might have done;
-and we kissed each other with anguish, like people who part for ever.
-And I have never seen her again.</p>
-
-<p>As I came back, frightened and miserable, all by myself along the
-moonlit road, I had to pass the Stokes’ cottage. Lottie was leaning out
-of the window, though it was now nearly midnight, with her face, all
-pallid in the moon, turned towards Dinglewood. I could scarcely keep
-myself from calling to her. She did not know what we had been doing, yet
-her heart had been with us that night.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER V</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I will</span> not describe the tumult that arose when it was discovered. The
-servants rushed over to me in a body, and I suggested that they should
-send for Mrs. Gresham, and that great lady came, in all her splendour,
-and took little Ada away, and gave everybody ‘notice.’ Then great bills
-of the auction covered the pillars at the gate, and strangers came in
-heaps to see the place. In a month everything had melted away like a
-tale that is told. The Greshams, and their wealth, and their liberality,
-and their good-nature fell out of the very recollection of the people on
-the Green, along with the damask and the gilding and the flowers, the
-fine carriages and the powdered footmen. Everything connected with them
-disappeared. The new tenant altered the house a second time, and
-everything that could recall the handsome young couple and their lavish
-ways was cleared away. Of course there was nothing else talked of for a
-long time after. Everybody had his or her account of the whole business.
-Some said poor Harry met his pursuers in the field close to the river,
-and that Gerald and he fought with them, and left them all but dead in
-the grass; some said that Ada and I defended the house, and would not
-let them in; and there were countless romances about the escape and
-Ada’s secret following after. The imagination of my neighbours made many
-a fancy sketch of that last scene; but never hit upon anything so
-touching as my last glimpse of her, with her baby under her cloak, going
-into the train. I held my peace, and let them talk. She had been as my
-own child for about a week, just a week of our lives; before that she
-was a common acquaintance, after it a stranger; but I could not let any
-vulgar tongues meddle with our relationship or her story in that sacred
-time.</p>
-
-<p>And after a while the tale fell into oblivion, as every story does if we
-can but wait long enough. People forgot about the Greshams; sometimes a
-stranger would observe the name of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96"></a>{96}</span> Mr. Gresham, of Bishop’s Hope, in
-some list of county charities, and would ask if he was a Gresham of
-Greshambury, or if he was any connection of the man who ran away. Of
-course, at the time, it was in all the newspapers. He had taken money
-that somebody had trusted him with and used it in his speculations. Of
-course he meant to pay it back; but then a great crash came. The men say
-there was no excuse for him, and I can see that there is no excuse; but
-he never meant it, poor Harry! And then the papers were full of further
-incidents, which were more unusual than Harry’s sin or his flight. The
-<i>Times</i> devoted a leading article to it which everybody read, holding
-Mrs. Gresham up to the applause of the world. Ada gave up her settlement
-and all her own fortune, and ‘one of his brothers,’ the papers said,
-came forward, too, and most of the money was paid back. But Harry, poor
-fellow, disappeared. He was as if he had gone down at sea. His name and
-every sign of his life went out of knowledge&mdash;waves of forgetfulness,
-desertion, exile closed over them. And at Dinglewood they were never
-either seen or heard of again.</p>
-
-<p>As long as it continued to be in the papers, Lottie Stoke kept in a very
-excited state. She came to me for ever, finding out every word that was
-printed about it, dwelling on everything. That evening when the article
-appeared about Mrs. Gresham’s heroic abandonment of her fortune, and
-about ‘one of his brothers,’ Lottie came with her eyes lighted up like
-windows in an illumination, and her whole frame trembling with
-excitement. She read it all to me, and listened to my comments, and
-clasped my hand in hers when I cried out, ‘That must be Gerald!’ She sat
-on the footstool, holding the paper, and gazed up into my face with her
-eyes like lamps. ‘Then I do not mind!’ she cried, and buried her face in
-her hands and sobbed aloud. And I did not ask her what she meant&mdash;I had
-not the heart.</p>
-
-<p>It was quite years after before I heard anything more of the Greshams,
-and then it was by way of Lottie Stoke that the news came. She had grown
-thinner and more worn year by year. She had not had the spirits to go
-out, and they were so poor that they could have no society at home. And
-by degrees Lottie came to be considered a little old, which is a
-dreadful business for an unmarried girl when her people are so poor.
-Mrs. Stoke did not upbraid her; but still, it may be guessed what her
-feelings were. But, fortunately, as Lottie sank into the background,
-Lucy came to the front. She was pretty, and fresh, and gay, and more
-popular than her sister had ever been. And, by and by, she did fulfil
-the grand object of existence, and married well. When Lucy told me of
-her engagement she was very angry with her sister.</p>
-
-<p>‘She says, how can I do it? She asks me if I have forgotten Gerald
-Gresham?’ cried Lucy. ‘As if I ever cared for Gerald Gresham; or as if
-anybody would marry him after&mdash;&mdash; I shall think she cared for him
-herself if she keeps going on.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97"></a>{97}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Lucy!’ said Lottie, flushing crimson under her hollow eyes. Lucy, for
-her part, was as bright as happiness, indignation, high health, and
-undiminished spirits could make her. But, for my part, I liked her
-sister best.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well!’ she said, ‘and I do think it. You <i>would</i> lecture me about him
-when we were only having a little fun. As if I ever cared for him. And I
-don’t believe,’ cried Lucy courageously, ‘that he ever cared for me.’</p>
-
-<p>Her sister kissed her, though she had been so angry. ‘Don’t let us
-quarrel now when we are going to part,’ she said, with a strange quiver
-in her voice. Perhaps the child was right; perhaps he had never cared
-for her, though Lottie and I both thought he did. He cared for neither
-of them, probably; and there was no chance that he would ever come back
-to Dinglewood, or show himself where his family had been so disgraced.
-But yet Lottie brightened up a little after that day, I can scarcely
-tell why.</p>
-
-<p>Some time after she went on a visit to London in the season; and it was
-very hard work for her, I know, to get some dresses to go in, for she
-never would have any of Lucy’s presents. She was six weeks away, and she
-came back looking a different creature. The very first morning after her
-return she came over to me, glowing with something to tell. ‘Who do you
-think I met?’ she said with a soft flush trembling over her face. Her
-look brought one name irresistibly to my mind. But I would not re-open
-that old business; I shook my head, and said I did not know.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why, Gerald Gresham!’ she cried. ‘It is true, Mrs. Mulgrave; he is
-painting pictures now&mdash;painting, you understand, not for his pleasure,
-but like a trade. And he told me about Ada and poor Harry. They have
-gone to America. It has changed him very much, even his looks; and
-instead of being rich, he is poor.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah,’ I said, ‘<span class="lftspc">“</span>one of his brothers.” You always said it was Gerald;’
-but I was not prepared for what was to come next.</p>
-
-<p>‘Did not I?’ cried Lottie, triumphant; ‘I knew it all the time.’ And
-then she paused a little, and sat silent, in a happy brooding over
-something that was to come. ‘And I think she was right,’ said Lottie
-softly. ‘He had not been thinking of Lucy; it was not Lucy for whom he
-cared.’</p>
-
-<p>I took her hands into my own, perceiving what she meant; and then all at
-once Lottie fell a crying, but not for sorrow.</p>
-
-<p>‘That was how I always deceived myself,’ she said. ‘It was so base of me
-at first; I wanted to marry him because he was rich. And then I thought
-it was Lucy he liked; she was so young and so pretty&mdash;’ Then she made a
-long pause, and put my hands upon her hot cheeks and covered herself
-with them. ‘Your hands are so cool,’ she said, ‘and so soft and kind. I
-am going to marry him now, Mrs. Mulgrave, and he is poor.’</p>
-
-<p>This is a kind of postscript to the story, but still it is so<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98"></a>{98}</span> connected
-with it that it is impossible to tell the one without the other. We were
-much agitated about this marriage on the Green. If Gerald Gresham had
-been rich, it would have been a different matter. But a stockbroker’s
-son, with disgrace in the family, and poor. I don’t know any one who was
-not sorry for Mrs. Stoke under this unexpected blow. But I was not sorry
-for Lottie. Gerald, naturally, is not fond of coming to the Green, but I
-see them sometimes in London, and I think they suit each other. He tells
-me of poor Ada every time I see him. And I believe old Mr. Gresham is
-very indignant at Harry’s want of spirit in not beginning again, and at
-Ada for giving up her settlement, and at Gerald for expending his money
-to help them&mdash;‘A pack of fools,’ says the old man. But of course they
-will all, even the shipwrecked family in America, get something from him
-when he dies. As for the mother, I met her once at Lottie’s door,
-getting into her fine carriage with the bays, and she was very affable
-to me. In her opinion it was all Ada’s fault. ‘What can a man do with an
-extravagant wife who spends all his money before it is made?’ she said
-as she got into her carriage; and I found it a little hard to keep my
-temper. But the Greshams and their story, and all the brief splendours
-of Dinglewood are almost forgotten by this time by everybody on the
-Green.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99"></a>{99}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="THE_SCIENTIFIC_GENTLEMAN" id="THE_SCIENTIFIC_GENTLEMAN"></a>THE SCIENTIFIC GENTLEMAN</h2>
-
-<h3><a name="PART_I" id="PART_I"></a>PART I</h3>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER I</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> were a great variety of houses on the Green; some of them handsome
-and wealthy, some very old-fashioned, some even which might be called
-tumbledown. The two worst and smallest of these were at the lower end of
-the Green, not far from the ‘Barleymow.’ It must not be supposed however
-that they were unpleasantly affected by the neighbourhood of the
-‘Barleymow.’ They were withdrawn from contact with it quite as much as
-we were, who lived at the other end; and though they were small and out
-of repair, and might even look mouldy and damp to a careless passer-by,
-they were still houses for gentlefolk, where nobody need have been
-ashamed to live. They were built partly of wood and partly of
-whitewashed brick, and each stood in the midst of a very luxuriant
-garden. At the time Mr. Reinhardt, of whom I am going to speak, came to
-East Cottage, as it was called, the place had been very much neglected;
-the trees and bushes grew wildly all over the garden; the flower-beds
-had gone to ruin; the kitchen-garden was a desert, with only a dreary
-cabbage or great long straggling onion-plant run to seed showing among
-the gooseberries and currants, which looked like the copsewood in a
-forest. It is miserable to see a place go to destruction like this, and
-I could not but reflect often how many poor people there were without a
-roof to shelter them, while this house was going to ruin for want of an
-inhabitant. ‘My dear lady, that is communism, rank communism,’ the
-Admiral said to me when I ventured to express my sentiments aloud; but I
-confess I never could see it.</p>
-
-<p>The house belonged to Mr. Falkland, who was a distant relation of Lord
-Goodwin’s, and lived chiefly in London. He was a young man, and a
-barrister, living, I suppose, in chambers, as most of them do; but I
-wondered he did not furnish the place and keep it in order, if it had
-been only for the pleasure of coming down with his friends from Saturday
-to Monday, to spend Sunday in the country. When I suggested this, young
-Robert Lloyd, Mrs. Damerel’s brother, took it upon him to laugh.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a>{100}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘There is nothing to do here,’ he said. ‘If it were near the river, for
-boating, it would be a different matter, or even if there was a stream
-to fish in; but a fellow has nothing to do here, and why should Falkland
-come to bore himself to death?’ Thus the young man ended with a sigh for
-himself, though he had begun with a laugh at me.</p>
-
-<p>‘If he is so afraid to be bored himself,’ said I&mdash;for I was rather angry
-to hear our pretty village so lightly spoken of&mdash;‘I am sure he must know
-quantities of people who would not be bored. Young barristers marry
-sometimes, I suppose, imprudently, like other young people&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Curates, for instance,’ said Robert, who was a saucy boy.</p>
-
-<p>‘Curates, and young officers, and all sorts of foolish people,’ said I;
-‘and think what a comfort that little house would be to a poor young
-couple with babies! Oh no, I do not like to see such a waste; a house
-going to rack and ruin for want of some one to live in it, and so many
-people famishing for want of fresh air, and the country. Don’t say any
-more, for it hurts me to see it. I wish it were mine to do what I liked
-with it only for a year.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Communism, rank communism,’ said the Admiral. But if that is communism,
-then I am a communist, and I don’t deny it. I would not waste a
-Christian dwelling-place any more than I would throw away good honest
-wholesome bread.</p>
-
-<p>However this state of things came to an end one spring, a good many
-years ago. Workmen came and began to put East Cottage in order. We all
-took the greatest interest in the work. It was quite a place to go to
-for our afternoon walks, and sometimes as many as three and four parties
-would meet there among the shavings and the pails of plaster and
-whitewash. It was being very thoroughly done up. We consulted each other
-and gave our opinions about all the papers, as if it mattered whether we
-liked them or not. The Green thought well of the new tenant’s taste on
-the whole, though some of us had doubts about the decoration of the
-drawing-room, which was rather a dark little room by nature. The paper
-for it was terribly artistic. It was one of those new designs which I
-always think are too mediæval for a private house&mdash;groups of five or six
-daisies tied together, with long stalks detached and distinct, and all
-the hair on their heads standing on end, so to speak; but we who
-objected had a conviction that it was only our ignorance, and merely
-whispered to each other in corners, that we were not quite sure&mdash;that
-perhaps it was just a little&mdash;but the people who knew better thought
-it showed very fine taste indeed.</p>
-
-<p>It was some time before we found out who the new tenant was. He did not
-come down until after everything had been arranged and ready for some
-weeks. Then we found out that he was a Mr. Reinhardt, a gentleman who
-was well-known, people said, in scientific circles. He was of German
-extraction, we supposed, by his name, and as for his connections, or
-where<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a>{101}</span> he came from, nobody knew anything about them. An old housekeeper
-was the first person who made her appearance, and then came an old
-man-servant; both of them looked the very models of respectability, but
-I do not think, for my own part, that the sight of them gave me a very
-pleasant feeling about their master. They chilled you only to look at
-them. The woman had a suspicious, watchful look, her eyes seemed to be
-always on the nearest corner looking for some one, and she had an air of
-resolution which I should not have liked to struggle against. The man
-was not quite so alarming, for he was older and rather feeble on his
-legs. One felt that there must be some weakness in his character to
-justify the little deviousness that would now and then appear in his
-steps. These two people attracted our notice in the interval of waiting
-for their master. The man’s name was White&mdash;an innocent, feeble sort of
-name, but highly respectable&mdash;and he called the woman something which
-sounded like Missis Sarah; but whether it was her Christian name or her
-surname we never could make out.</p>
-
-<p>It was on a Monday evening, and I had gone to dine at the Lodge with Sir
-Thomas and Lady Denzil, when the first certain news of the new tenant of
-East Cottage reached us. The gentlemen, of course, had been the first to
-hear it. Somehow, though it is taken for granted that women are the
-great traffickers in gossip, it is the men who always start the subject.
-When they came into the drawing-room after dinner they gave us the
-information, which they had already been discussing among themselves
-over their wine.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr. Reinhardt has arrived,’ Sir Thomas said to Lady Denzil; and we all
-asked, ‘When?’</p>
-
-<p>‘He came yesterday, I believe,’ said Sir Thomas.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yesterday! Why, yesterday was Sunday,’ cried some one; and though we
-are, as a community, tolerably free from prejudice, we were all somewhat
-shocked; and there was a pause.</p>
-
-<p>‘I believe Sunday is considered the most lucky day for everything
-abroad,’ said Lady Denzil, after that interval; ‘for beginning a
-journey, and no doubt for entering a house. And as he is of German
-extraction&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘He does not look like a German,’ said Robert Lloyd; ‘he is quite an old
-fellow&mdash;about fifty, I should say&mdash;and dark, not fair.’</p>
-
-<p>At this speech the most of us laughed; for an old fellow of fifty seemed
-absurd to us, who were that age, or more; but Robert, at twenty, had no
-doubt on the subject.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well,’ he said, half offended, ‘I could not have said a young fellow,
-could I? He stoops, he is awfully thin, like an old magician, and
-shabbily dressed, and&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You must have examined him from head to foot, Robert.’</p>
-
-<p>‘A fellow can’t help seeing,’ said Robert, ‘when he looks; and I thought
-you all wanted to know.’</p>
-
-<p>Then we had a discussion as to what notice should be taken of the new
-comer. We did not know whether he was married<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>{102}</span> or not, and,
-consequently, could not go fully into the question; but the aspect of
-the house and the looks of the servants were much against it. For my own
-part, I felt convinced he was not married; and, so far as we ladies were
-concerned, the question was thus made sufficiently easy. But the
-gentlemen felt the weight proportionably heavy on their shoulders.</p>
-
-<p>‘I never knew any one of the name of Reinhardt,’ Sir Thomas said with a
-musing air.</p>
-
-<p>‘Probably he will have brought letters from somebody,’ the Admiral
-suggested: and that was a wonderful comfort to all the men.</p>
-
-<p>Of course he must have letters from somebody; he must know some one who
-knew Sir Thomas, or Mr. Damerel, or the Admiral, or General Perronet, or
-the Lloyds. Surely the world was not so large as to make it possible
-that the new comer did not know some one who knew one of the people on
-the Green. As for being a scientific notability, or even a literary
-character, I am afraid that would not have done much for him in
-Dinglefield. If he had been cousin to poor Lord Glyndon, who was next to
-an idiot, it would have been of a great deal more service to him. I do
-not say that we were right; I think there are other things which ought
-to be taken into consideration; but, without arguing about it, there is
-no doubt that so it was.</p>
-
-<p>The Green generally kept a watchful eye for some time on the East
-Cottage. There were no other servants except those two whom we had
-already seen. Sometimes the gardener, who kept all the little gardens
-about in order&mdash;‘doing for’ ladies like myself, for instance, who could
-not afford to keep a gardener&mdash;was called in to assist at East Cottage;
-and I believe (of course I could not question him on the subject; I
-heard this through one of the maids) that he was very jocular about the
-man-servant, who was a real man-of-all-work, doing everything you could
-think of, from helping to cook, down to digging in the garden. Our
-gardener opened his mouth and uttered a great laugh when he spoke of
-him. He held the opinion common to a great many of his class, that to
-undertake too much was a positive injury to others. A servant who kept
-to his own work, and thought it was ‘not his place’ to interfere with
-anything beyond it, or lend a helping hand in matters beyond his own
-immediate calling, was Matthew’s model of what a servant ought to be,
-and a man who pretended to be a butler, and was a Jack-of-all-trades,
-was a contemptible object to our gardener: ‘taking the bread out o’
-other folks’s mouths,’ he said. He thought the man at the East Cottage
-was a foreigner, and altogether had a very poor opinion of him. But
-however what was a great deal worse was the fact that neither the
-man-servant, nor the woman, nor the master, appeared to care for our
-notice, or in any way took the place they ought to have done in our
-little community. They had their things down from London; they either
-did their washing ‘within themselves’ or sent it also away to a
-distance;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a>{103}</span> they made no friends, and sought none. Mr. Reinhardt brought
-no letters of introduction. Sometimes&mdash;but rarely&mdash;he might be seen of
-an evening walking towards the Dell, with an umbrella over his head to
-shield him from the setting sun, but he never looked at anybody whom he
-met, or showed the least inclination to cultivate acquaintance, even
-with a child or a dog. And the worst of all was that he certainly never
-went to church. We were very regular church-goers on the Green. Some of
-us preferred sometimes to go to a little church in the woods, which was
-intended for the scattered population of our forest district, and was
-very pretty and sweet in the midst of the great trees, instead of to the
-parish. But to one or other everybody went once every Sunday at least.
-It was quite a pretty sight on Sunday morning to see everybody turning
-out&mdash;families all together, and lonely folk like myself, who scarcely
-could feel lonely when there was such a feeling of harmony and
-friendliness about. The young people set off walking generally a little
-while before us; but most of the elder people drove, for it was a good
-long way. And though some rigid persons thought it was wrong on the
-Sunday, yet the nice carriages and horses looked pleasant, and the
-servants always had time to come to church; and an old lady like Lady
-Denzil, for instance, must have stayed at home altogether if she had not
-been allowed to drive. I think a distinction should be made in such
-cases. But when all the houses thus opened their doors and poured forth
-their inhabitants, it may be supposed how strange it looked that one
-house should never open and no figure ever come from it to join the
-Sunday stream. Even the housekeeper, so far as we could ascertain, never
-had a Sunday out. They lived within those walls, within the trees that
-were now so tidy and trim. One morning when I had a cold, and was
-reading the service by myself in my own room, I had a glimpse of the
-master of the house. It was a summer day, very soft and blue, and full
-of sunshine. You know what I mean when I say blue&mdash;the sky seemed to
-stoop nearer to the earth, the earth hushed itself and looked up all
-still and gentle to the sky. There were no clouds above, and nobody
-moving below; nothing but a little thrill and flicker of leaves, a faint
-rustle of the grass, and the birds singing with a softer note, as if
-they too knew it was Sunday. My room is in the front of the house, and
-overlooks all the Green. The window was open, and the click of a latch
-sounding in the stillness made me lift my head without thinking from the
-lesson I was reading. It was Mr. Reinhardt, who had come out of his
-cottage. He came to the garden gate and stood for a moment looking out.
-I was not near enough to see his face, but in every line of his spare,
-stooping figure there was suspicion and doubt. He looked to the right
-and to the left with a curious prying eagerness, as if he expected to
-see some one coming. And then he came out altogether, and began to walk
-up and down, up and down. The stillness was so great that,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a>{104}</span> though he
-walked very softly, the sound of his steps on the gravel of the road
-reached me from time to time. I stopped in my reading to watch him, in
-spite of myself. Every time he turned he looked about him in the same
-suspicious, curious way. Was he waiting for some one? Was he looking out
-for a visitor? or was he (the thought sprang into my mind all at once)
-insane perhaps, and had escaped from his keepers in the cottage? This
-thought made my heart jump, but a little reflection calmed me, for he
-had not the least appearance of insanity. The little jar now and then of
-his foot when he turned kept me in excitement; I felt it impossible to
-keep from watching him. When I found how abstracted my mind was getting,
-I changed my place that I might not be tempted to look out any more,
-feeling that it was wrong to yield to this curiosity; and when I had
-finished my reading the first carriage&mdash;the Denzils’ carriage&mdash;was
-coming gleaming along the distant road in the sunshine, coming back from
-church, and the lonely figure was gone. I did not know whether he had
-gone in again or had extended his walk. But I felt somehow all that day,
-though you will say with very little reason, that I knew something more
-about our strange neighbour than most people did on the Green.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER II</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> seclusion and isolation of East Cottage did not however last very
-long. Before the summer was over Sir Thomas, who, though he stood on his
-dignity sometimes, was very kind at bottom, began to feel compunctious
-about his solitary neighbour: now and then he would say something which
-betrayed this. ‘It worries me to think there is some one there who has
-been taken no notice of by anybody,’ he would say. ‘Of course it is his
-own fault&mdash;entirely his own fault.’ The next time one met him he would
-return to the subject. ‘What a lovely day! Everybody seems to be
-out-of-doors&mdash;except at East Cottage, where they have the blinds drawn
-down.’ This would be said with a pucker of vexation and annoyance about
-his mouth. He was angry with the stranger, and sorry, and did not know
-what to do. And I for one knew what would follow. But we were all very
-curious when we heard that Sir Thomas had actually called. The Stokes
-came running in to tell me one afternoon. ‘Oh, fancy, Mrs. Mulgrave, Sir
-Thomas has called!’ cried Lucy. ‘And he has been admitted, which is
-still greater fun,’ said Robert Lloyd, who was with them. I may say in
-passing that this was before Robert had passed his examination, when he
-was an idle young man at home, trying hard to persuade Lucy Stoke that
-he and she were in love with each other. Their parents, of course, would
-never have permitted such a thing for a moment, and fortunately there
-turned out to be nothing in it; but at present this was the chief
-occupation of Robert’s life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>{105}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘I am very glad,’ said I. ‘I knew Sir Thomas never would be happy till
-he had done it.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And oh, you don’t know what funny stories there are about,’ said Lucy.
-‘They say he killed his wife, and that he is always thinking he sees her
-ghost. I wonder if it is true? They say he can never be left alone or in
-the dark; he is so frightened. I met him yesterday, and it made me jump.
-I never saw a man who killed his wife before.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But who says he killed his wife?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, everybody; we heard it from Matthew the gardener, and I think he
-heard it at the “Barleymow,” and it is all over the place. Fancy Sir
-Thomas calling on such a person! for I suppose,’ said Lucy, ‘though you
-are so very superior, you men, and may beat us, and all that, it is not
-made law yet that you may kill your wives.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It might just as well be the law: for I am sure there are many other
-things quite as bad,’ said Lottie, while Robert, who had been appealed
-to, whispered some answer which made Lucy laugh. ‘Poor man, I wonder if
-she was a very bad woman, and if she haunts him. How disappointed he
-must have been to find he could not get rid of her even that way!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Lottie, my dear, here is Sir Thomas coming; don’t talk so much
-nonsense,’ said I hurriedly.</p>
-
-<p>I am afraid however that Sir Thomas rather liked the nonsense. He had
-not the feeling of responsibility in encouraging girls to run on, that
-most women have. He thought it was amusing, as men generally do, and
-never paused to think how bad it was for the girls. But to-day he was
-too full of his own story to care much for theirs. He came in with dusty
-boots, which was quite against his principles, and stretched his long
-spare limbs out on the beautiful rug which the Stokes had worked for me
-in a way that went to my heart. That showed how very much pre-occupied
-he was; for Sir Thomas was never inconsiderate about such matters.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well,’ he said, pushing his thin white hair off his forehead, and
-stretching out his legs as if he were quite worn out, ‘there is one
-piece of work well over. I have had a good many tough jobs in my life,
-but I don’t know that I ever had a worse.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, tell us what happened. Is he mad? Has he shut himself in? Has he
-hurt you?’ cried the Stokes.</p>
-
-<p>Sir Thomas smiled upon this nonsense as if it had been perfectly
-reasonable, and the best sense in the world.</p>
-
-<p>‘Hurt me! well, not quite: he was not likely to try that. He is a little
-mite of a man, who could not hurt a fly. And besides,’ added Sir Thomas,
-correcting himself, ‘he is a gentleman. I have no reason to doubt he is
-a perfect gentleman. He conducts himself quite as&mdash;as all the rest of us
-do. No, it was the difficulty of getting in that bewildered me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Was there a difficulty in getting in?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You shall hear. The servant looked as if he would faint<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a>{106}</span> when he saw
-me. “Mr. Reinhardt at home?” Oh! he could not quite say; if I would wait
-he would go and ask. So I waited in the hall,’ said Sir Thomas with a
-smile. ‘Well, yes, it was odd, of course; but such an experience now and
-then is not bad for one. It shows you, you know, of how little
-importance you are the moment you get beyond the circle of people who
-know you. I think really it is salutary, you know, if you come to
-that&mdash;and amusing,’ he added, this time with a little laugh.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, but what a shame: how shocking! how horrid! You, Sir Thomas, whom
-everybody knows!’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is just what makes it so instructive,’ he said. ‘I must have stood
-in the hall a quarter of an hour: allowing for the tediousness of
-waiting, I should say certainly a quarter of an hour; and then the man
-came back and asked me, what do you think? if I had come of my own
-accord, or if some one had sent me! It was ludicrous,’ said Sir Thomas
-with a half laugh; ‘but if you will think of it, it was rather
-irritating. I am afraid I lost my temper a little. I said, “I am Sir
-Thomas Denzil. I live at the Lodge, and I have come to call upon your
-master,” in a tone which made the old fool of a man shake, and then some
-one else appeared at the top of the stairs. It was Mr. Reinhardt, who
-had heard my voice.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What did he say for himself?’ I asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘It was not his fault,’ said Sir Thomas; ‘he knew nothing of it. He is a
-very well-informed man, Mrs. Mulgrave. He is quite able to enter into
-conversation on any subject. He was very glad to see me. He is a sort of
-recluse, it is easy to perceive, but quite a proper person; very
-well-informed, one whom it was a pleasure to converse with, I assure
-you. He made a thousand apologies. He said something about unfortunate
-circumstances, and a disagreeable visitor, as an excuse for his man; but
-whether the disagreeable visitor was some one who had been there or who
-was expected&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I know,’ cried Lucy Stoke, with excitement. ‘It was his wife’s
-ghost.’</p>
-
-<p>Sir Thomas stopped short aghast, and looked at me to ask if the child
-had gone mad.</p>
-
-<p>‘How could they think Sir Thomas was the wife’s ghost?’ cried Lottie,
-‘you little goose! and besides, most likely it is not true.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What is not true?’ asked Sir Thomas in dismay.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, they say he killed her,’ said Lucy, ‘and that she haunts him. They
-say his man sleeps in his room, and the housekeeper just outside. He
-cannot be left by himself for a moment: and I do not wonder he should be
-frightened if he has killed his wife.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nonsense, nonsense,’ said Sir Thomas, raising his voice. ‘Nonsense!’ he
-was quite angry. He had taken up the man and felt responsible for him,
-‘My dear child, I think you are going out of your little wits,’ he
-cried. ‘Killed his wife! why,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a>{107}</span> the man is a thorough gentleman. A most
-well-informed man, and knows my friend Sir Septimus Dash, who is the
-head of the British Association. Why, why, Lucy! you take away my
-breath.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was not I who said it,’ cried Lucy. ‘It is all over the
-Green&mdash;everybody knows. They say she disappeared all at once, and never
-was heard of more; and then there used to be sounds like somebody crying
-and moaning; and then he got so frightened, he never would go anywhere,
-nor look any one in the face. Oh! only suppose; how strange it would be
-to have a haunted house on the Green. If I had anybody to go with me I
-should like to walk down to East Cottage at midnight.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Let me go with you,’ whispered Robert; but fortunately I heard him, and
-gave Lucy a look. She was a silly little girl certainly, but not so bad
-as that.</p>
-
-<p>‘This is really very great nonsense,’ said Sir Thomas. ‘A haunted house
-at this time of day! Mrs. Mulgrave, I hope you will use all your
-influence to put down this story if it exists. I give you my word, Mr.
-Reinhardt is quite an addition to our society, and knows Sir Septimus
-Dash. A really well-bred, well-informed man. I am quite shocked, I
-assure you. Lucy, I hope you will not spread this ridiculous story. I
-shall ask your mother what she thinks. Poor man! no wonder he looked
-uncomfortable, if there is already such a rumour abroad.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then he did look uncomfortable?’ said Lottie.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I can’t say he did. No; I don’t mean uncomfortable,’ said Sir
-Thomas, seeing he had committed himself. ‘I mean&mdash;&mdash; it is absurd
-altogether. A charming man; one whom you will all like immensely. I
-think Lady Denzil must have returned from her drive. We are to see you
-all to-morrow, I believe, in the afternoon? Now, Lucy, no more gossip;
-leave that to the old women, my dear.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Sir Thomas does not know what to make of it,’ said Lottie, as we
-watched him cross the Green. ‘He has gone to my lady to have his mind
-made up whether he ought to pay any attention to it or not.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And my lady will say not,’ said I; ‘fortunately we are all sure of
-that. Lady Denzil will not let anybody be condemned without a hearing.
-And, Lucy, I think Sir Thomas gave you very good advice; when you are
-old it will be time enough to amuse yourself with spreading stories,
-especially such dreadful stories as this.’</p>
-
-<p>Lucy took offence at what I said, and went away pouting&mdash;comforted by
-Robert Lloyd, and very indignant with me. Lottie stayed for a moment
-behind her to tell me that it was really quite true, and that the report
-had gone all over the Green, and everybody was talking of it. No one
-knew quite where it had come from, but it was already known to all the
-world at Dinglewood, and a very unpleasant report it was.</p>
-
-<p>However time went on, and no more was heard of this. In<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a>{108}</span> a little place
-like Dinglewood, as soon as everybody has heard a story, a pause ensues.
-We cannot go on indefinitely propagating it, and renewing our own faith
-in it. When we all know it, and nothing new can be said on the subject,
-we are stopped short; and unless there are new facts to comment upon, or
-some new light thrown upon the affair, it is almost sure to die away, as
-a matter of course. This was the case in respect to the report about Mr.
-Reinhardt. We got no more information, and we could not go on talking
-about the old story for ever. We exhausted it, and grew tired of it, and
-let it drop; and thus, by degrees, we got used to him, and became
-acquainted with him, more or less.</p>
-
-<p>The other gentlemen called, one by one, after Sir Thomas. Mr. Reinhardt
-was asked, timidly, to one or two dinner-parties, and declined, which we
-thought at first showed, on the whole, good taste on his part. But he
-became quite friendly when we met him on the road, and would stop to
-talk, and showed no moroseness, nor fear of any one. He had what was
-generally pronounced to be a refined face&mdash;the features high and clear,
-with a kind of ivory paleness, and keen eyes, which were very sharp to
-note everything. He was, as Sir Thomas said, very well-informed. There
-seemed to be nothing that you could talk about that he did not know; and
-in science, the gentlemen said he was a perfect mine of knowledge. I am
-not sure however that they were very good judges, for I don’t think
-either Sir Thomas or the Admiral knew much about science. One thing
-however which made some of us still doubtful about him was the fact that
-he never talked of <i>people</i>. When a name was mentioned in conversation
-he never said, ‘Oh, I know him very well&mdash;I knew his father&mdash;a cousin of
-his was a great friend of mine,’ as most people do. All the expression
-went out of his face as soon as we came to this kind of talk; and it may
-be supposed how very much at a loss most people were in consequence for
-subjects to talk about. But this, though it was strange, was not any
-sort of proof that he had done anything wicked. It might be&mdash;and the
-most of us thought it was&mdash;an evidence that he had not lived in society.
-‘He knows my friend, Sir Septimus Dash,’ Sir Thomas always said in his
-favour; but then, of course, Sir Septimus was a public personage, and
-Mr. Reinhardt might have made his acquaintance at some public place. But
-still, a man may be of no family, and out of society, and yet not have
-murdered his wife. After a while we began to think, indeed, that whether
-he had killed her or not, it was just as well there was no wife in the
-question&mdash;‘Just as well,’ Mrs. Perronet said, who was great in matters
-of society. ‘A man whom nobody knows does not matter; but what should we
-have done with a woman?’</p>
-
-<p>‘He must have killed her on purpose to save us the trouble,’ said
-Lottie. But the General’s wife was quite in earnest, and did not see the
-joke.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a>{109}</span></p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER III</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> is a good thing, on the whole, to have a house with a mystery about
-it in one’s immediate neighbourhood. Gradually we ceased to believe that
-Mr. Reinhardt had anything criminal about him. But it was quite certain
-that there was a mystery&mdash;that we knew nothing about him, neither where
-he came from, nor what his family was. For one thing, he had certainly
-no occupation: therefore, of course, he must be sufficiently well off to
-do without that: and he had no relations&mdash;no one who ever came to see
-him, nor of whom he talked; and though the men who called upon him had
-been admitted, they were never asked to go back, nor had one of us
-ladies ever crossed his threshold. It would seem indeed that he had made
-a rule against admitting ladies, for when Mrs. Damerel herself called to
-speak of the soup-kitchen, old White came and spoke to her at the gate,
-and trembled very much, and begged her a hundred pardons, but
-nevertheless would not let her in&mdash;a thing which made her very
-indignant. Thus the house became to us all a mysterious house, and, on
-the whole, I think we rather liked it. The mystery did no harm, and it
-certainly amused us, and kept our interest alive.</p>
-
-<p>Thus the summer passed, and Dinglefield had got used to the Scientific
-Gentleman. That was the name he generally went by. When strangers came
-to the Green, and had it all described to them&mdash;Sir Thomas here, the
-Admiral there, the General at the other side, and so on, we always gave
-a little special description of Mr. Reinhardt.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is a Fellow of the Royal Society,’ one would say, not knowing much
-what that meant. ‘He belongs to the British Association,’ said another.
-‘He is a great scientific light.’ We began even to feel a little proud
-of him. Even I myself, on the nights when I did not sleep well, used to
-feel quite pleased, when I looked out, to see the Scientific Gentleman’s
-light still burning. He was sitting up there, no doubt, pondering things
-that were much beyond our comprehension&mdash;and it made us proud to think
-that, on the Green, there was some one who was going over the abstrusest
-questions in the dead of the night.</p>
-
-<p>It was about six months after his arrival when, one evening, for some
-special reason, I forget what, I went to Mrs. Stoke’s to tea. She lives
-a little way down the lane, on the other side of the ‘Barleymow.’ It is
-not often that she asks any one even to tea. As a rule, people generally
-ask her and her daughters, for we are all very well aware of her
-circumstances; but on this particular night, I was there for some reason
-or other. It was October, and the nights had begun to be cold; but there
-was a full moon, and at ten o’clock it was as light as day. This was why
-I would not let them send any one home with me. I must<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a>{110}</span> say I have never
-understood how middle-aged women like myself can have a pretty young
-maid-servant sent for them, knowing very well that the girl must walk
-one way alone, and that, if there is any danger at all, a young woman of
-twenty is more in the way of it, than one who might be her mother. I
-remember going to the door to look out, and protesting that I was not
-the least nervous&mdash;nor was I. I knew all the roads as well as I knew my
-own garden, and everybody round about knew me. The way was not at all
-lonely. To be sure, there were not many people walking about; but then
-there were houses all along&mdash;and lastly, it was light as day. The moon
-was shining in that lavish sort of way which she only has when she is at
-the full. The houses amid their trees stood whitened over, held fast by
-the light as the wedding-guest was held by the eye of the Ancient
-Mariner. The shadows were as black as the light was white. There was a
-certain solemnity about it, so full of light, and yet so colourless.
-After I had left the house, and had come out&mdash;I and my shadow&mdash;into the
-full whiteness, it made an impression upon me which I could scarcely
-resist. My first idea when I glanced back was that my own shadow was
-some one stealing after me. That gave me a shake for a moment, though I
-laughed at myself. The lights of the ‘Barleymow’ neutralized this solemn
-feeling, and I went on, thinking to myself what a good story it would be
-for my neighbours&mdash;my own shadow! I did not cross the Green, as I
-generally did, partly from a vague feeling that, though it was so light
-and so safe, there was a certain company in being close to the
-houses&mdash;not that I was the least afraid, or that indeed there was any
-occasion to fear, but just for company’s sake. By this time, I think it
-must have been very nearly eleven o’clock, which is a late hour for
-Dinglefield. All the houses seemed shut up for the night. Looking up the
-Green, the effect of the sleeping place, with the moon shining on the
-pale gables and ends of houses, and all the trees in black, and the
-white stretch of space in the centre, looking as if it had been clean
-swept by the moonlight of every obstacle, had the strangest effect. I
-was not in the least afraid. What should I be afraid of, so close to my
-own door? But still I felt a little shiver run over me&mdash;a something
-involuntary, which I could not help, like that little thrill of the
-nerves, which makes people say that some one is walking over your grave.</p>
-
-<p>And all at once in the great stillness and quiet I heard a sound quite
-near. It was very soft at first, not much louder than a sigh. I hurried
-on for a few steps frightened, I could not tell why, and then, disgusted
-with myself, I stopped to listen. Yes, now it came again, louder this
-time; and then I turned round to look where it came from. It was the
-sound of some one moaning either in sorrow or in pain; a soft,
-interrupted moan, now and then stopping short with a kind of sob. My
-heart began to beat, but I said to myself, it is some one in trouble,
-and I can’t run away. The sound came from the side of East Cottage,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a>{111}</span>
-just where the little railing in front ended; and, after a long look, I
-began to see that there was some one there. What I made out was the
-outline of a figure seated on the ground with knees drawn up, and
-looking so thin that they almost came to a point. It was straight up
-against the railing, and so overshadowed by the lilac-bushes that the
-outline of the knees, black, but whitened over as it were with a
-sprinkling of snow or silver, was all that could be made out. It was
-like something dimly seen in a picture, not like flesh and blood. It
-gave me the strangest sensation to see this something, this shrouded
-semblance of a human figure, at Mr. Reinhardt’s door. All the stories
-that had been told of him came back to my mind. His wife! I would have
-kept the recollection out of my mind if I could, but it came without any
-will of mine. I turned and went on as fast as ever I could. I should
-have run like a frightened child had I followed my own instinctive
-feeling. My heart beat, my feet rang upon the gravel; and then I stopped
-short, hating myself. How silly and weak I was! It might be some poor
-creature, some tramp or wandering wretch, who had sunk down there in
-sickness or weariness, while I in my cowardice passed by on the other
-side frightened lest it should be a ghost. I do not know to this day how
-it was that I forced myself to turn and go back, but I did. Oh! what a
-moaning, wailing sound it was; not loud, but the very cry of desolation.
-I felt as I went, though my heart beat so, that such a moaning could
-only come from a living creature, one who had a body full of weariness
-and pain, as well as a suffering soul.</p>
-
-<p>I turned back and went up to the thing with those sharp-pointed knees;
-then I saw the hands clasped round the knees, and the hopeless head
-bowed down upon them, all black and silvered over like something cut out
-of ebony. I even saw, or thought I saw, amid the flickering of the
-heavens above and the shadows below, a faint rocking in the miserable
-figure;&mdash;that mechanical, unconscious rocking which is one of the
-primitive ways of showing pain. I went up, all trembling as I was, and
-asked ‘What is the matter?’ with a voice as tremulous. There was no
-answer; only the moaning went on, and the movement became more
-perceptible. Fortunately, my terror died away when I saw this. The human
-sound and action, that were like what everybody does, brought me back at
-once out of all supernatural dread. It was a woman, and she was unhappy.
-I dismissed the other thought&mdash;or rather, it left me unawares.</p>
-
-<p>This gave me a great deal of courage. I repeated my question; and then,
-as there was no answer, went up and touched her softly. The figure rose
-with a spring in a moment, before I could think what she was going to
-do. She put out one of her hands, and pushed me off.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah! have I brought you out at last?’ she cried wildly; and then stopped
-short and stared at me; while I stared, too, feeling, whoever it might
-be she had expected, that I was not the person.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a>{112}</span> Her movement was so
-sudden, that I shrank back in terror, fearing once more I could not tell
-what. She was a very tall, slight woman, with a cloak tightly wrapped
-about her. In the confusion of the moment I could remark nothing more.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you ill?’ I said, faltering. ‘My good woman, I&mdash;I don’t want to
-harm you; I heard you moaning, and I&mdash;thought you were ill&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>She seized me by the arm, making my very teeth chatter. The grasp was
-bony and hard like the hand of a skeleton.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you from that house? Are you from him?’ she cried, pointing behind
-her with her other hand. ‘Bid him come out to me himself; bid him come
-out and go down on his knees before I’ll give in to enter his door. Oh!
-I’ve not come here for nought&mdash;I’ve not come here for nought! I’ve come
-with all my wrongs that he’s done me. Tell him to come out himself; it
-is his part.’</p>
-
-<p>Her voice grew hoarse with the passion that was in it, and yet it was a
-voice that had been sweet.</p>
-
-<p>I put up my hand, pleading with her, trying to get a hearing, but she
-held me fast by the arm.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have not come from that house,’ I said. ‘You frighten me. I&mdash;I live
-close by. I was passing and heard you moan. Is there anything the
-matter? Can I be&mdash;of any use?’</p>
-
-<p>I said this very doubtfully, for I was afraid of the strange figure, and
-the passionate speech.</p>
-
-<p>Then she let go her hold all at once. She looked at me and then all
-round. There was not another creature visible except, behind me, I
-suppose, the open door and lights of the ‘Barleymow.’ She might have
-done almost what she would to me had she been disposed;&mdash;at least, at
-the moment that was how I felt.</p>
-
-<p>‘You live close by?’ she said, putting her hand upon her heart, which
-was panting and heaving with her passion.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes. Are you&mdash;staying in the neighbourhood? Have you&mdash;lost your way?’</p>
-
-<p>I said this in my bewilderment, not knowing what the words were which
-came from my lips. Then the poor creature leaned back upon the wall and
-gasped and sobbed. I could not make out at first whether it was emotion
-or want of breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I’ve lost my way,’ she said; ‘not here, but in life; I’ve lost my
-way in life, and I’ll never find it again. Oh! I’m ill&mdash;I’m very ill. If
-you are a good Christian, as you seem, take me in somewhere and let me
-lie down till the spasm’s past; I feel it coming on now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What is it?’ I asked.</p>
-
-<p>She put her hand upon her heart and panted and gasped for breath. Poor
-wretch! At that moment I heard behind me the locking of the door at the
-‘Barleymow.’ I know I ought to have called out to them to wait, but I
-had not my wits about me as one ought to have.</p>
-
-<p>‘Have you no home?’ I asked; ‘nowhere to go to? You<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a>{113}</span> must live
-somewhere. I will go with you and take you home.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Home!’ she cried. ‘It is here or in the churchyard, nowhere else&mdash;here
-or in the churchyard. Take me to one or the other, good woman, for
-Christ’s sake: I don’t care which&mdash;to my husband’s house or to the
-churchyard&mdash;for Christ’s sake.’</p>
-
-<p>For Christ’s sake! You may blame me, but what could I do? Could any of
-you refuse if you were asked in that name? You may say any one can use
-such words&mdash;any vagabond, any wretch&mdash;and, of course, it is true; but
-could you resist the plea&mdash;you who are neither a wretch nor a
-vagabond?&mdash;I know you could not, any more than me.</p>
-
-<p>‘Lean upon me,’ I said; ‘take my arm; try if you can walk. Oh! I don’t
-know who you are or what you are, but when you ask for Christ’s sake,
-you know, He sees into your heart. If you have any place that I can take
-you to, tell me; you must know it is difficult to take a stranger into
-one’s house like this. Tell me if you have not some room&mdash;some place
-where you can be taken care of; I will give you what you want all the
-same.’</p>
-
-<p>We were going on all this time, walking slowly towards my house; she was
-gasping, holding one hand to her heart and with the other leaning
-heavily on me. When I made this appeal to her she stopped and turned
-half round, waving her hand towards the house we were leaving behind us.</p>
-
-<p>‘If that is Mr. Reinhardt’s house,’ she said, ‘take me there if you
-will. I am&mdash;his wife. He’ll leave me to die&mdash;on the doorstep&mdash;most
-likely; and be glad. I haven’t strength&mdash;to&mdash;say any more.’</p>
-
-<p>‘His wife!’ I cried in my dismay.</p>
-
-<p>‘Lord have mercy upon us!’ cried the panting creature. ‘Ay! that’s the
-truth.’</p>
-
-<p>What could I do? She was scarcely able to totter along, panting and
-breathless. It was her heart. Poor soul! how could any one tell what she
-might have had to suffer? I took her, though with trembling&mdash;what could
-I do else?&mdash;to my own house.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER IV</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I cannot</span> attempt to describe what my feelings were when I went into my
-own house with that strange woman. Though it was a very short way, we
-took a long time to get there. She had disease of the heart evidently,
-and one of the paroxysms had come on.</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall be better by and by,’ she said to me, gasping as she leaned on
-my arm.</p>
-
-<p>My mind was in such a confusion that I did not know what I was doing.
-She might be only a tramp, a thief, a vagabond. As for what she had said
-of being Mr. Reinhardt’s wife&mdash;my head<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a>{114}</span> swam, I could neither understand
-nor explain to myself how this had come about. But, whether she was good
-or bad, I could not help myself; I was committed to it. Every house on
-the Green was closed and silent. The shutters were all put up at the
-‘Barleymow,’ and silence reigned. No, thank Heaven! in the Admiral’s
-window there were still lights, so that if anything happened I could
-call him to my aid. He was my nearest neighbour, and the sight of his
-lighted window gave me confidence.</p>
-
-<p>My maid gave a little shriek when she opened the door, and this too
-roused me. I said, ‘Mary, this&mdash;lady is ill; she will lie down on the
-sofa in the drawing-room while we get ready the west room. You will not
-mind the trouble, I am sure, when you see how ill she is.’</p>
-
-<p>This I said to smooth matters, for it is not to be supposed that Mary,
-who was already yawning at my late return, should be quite pleased at
-being sent off to make up a bed and prepare a room unexpectedly as it
-were in the middle of the night. And I was glad also to send her away,
-for I saw her give a wondering look at the poor creature’s clothes,
-which were dusty and soiled. She had been sitting on the dusty earth by
-Mr. Reinhardt’s cottage, and it was not wonderful if her clothes showed
-marks of it. I made her lie down on the sofa, and got her some wine.
-Poor forlorn creature! The rest seemed to be life however to her. She
-sank back upon the soft cushions, and her heavy breathing softened
-almost immediately. I left her there (though, I confess, not without a
-slight sensation of fear), and went to the west room to help Mary. It
-was a room we seldom used, at the end of a long passage, and therefore
-the one best fitted to put a stranger, about whom I knew nothing, in.
-Mary did not say anything, but I could feel that she disapproved of me
-in every pat she gave to the fresh sheets and pillows. And I was
-conciliatory, as one so often is to one’s servants. I drew a little
-picture of how I had found the ‘poor lady’ panting for breath and unable
-to walk&mdash;of how weak and how thin she was&mdash;and what a terrible thing to
-have heart-disease, which came on with any exertion&mdash;and how anxious her
-friends must be.</p>
-
-<p>All this Mary listened to in grim silence, patting now and then the
-bedclothes with her hand, as if making a protest against all I said. At
-length, when I had exhausted my eloquence, and began to grow a little
-angry, Mary cleared her throat and replied,</p>
-
-<p>‘Please, ma’am, I know it ain’t my place to speak&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! you can say what you please, Mary, so long as it is not unkind to
-your neighbours,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘I never set eyes on the&mdash;lady&mdash;before, so she can’t be a neighbour of
-mine,’ said Mary; ‘but she’s been seen about the Green days and days.
-I’ve seen her myself a-haunting East Cottage, where that poor gentleman
-lives.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You said this moment that you never set eyes on her before.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Not to know her, ma’am,’ said Mary; ‘it’s different. I saw her to-day
-walking up and down like a ghost, and I wouldn’t<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a>{115}</span> have given sixpence
-for all she had on her. It ain’t my place to speak, but one as you don’t
-know, and as may have a gang ready to murder us all in our beds&mdash;&mdash;
-Mother was in service in London when she was young, and oh! to hear the
-tales she knows. Pretending to be ill is the commonest trick of all,
-mother says, and then they get took in, and then, when all’s still&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is very kind of you, I am sure, to instruct me by your mother’s
-experiences,’ said I, feeling very angry. ‘Now you can go to bed if you
-please, and lock your door, and then you will be safe. I shall not want
-you any more to-night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! but please, ma’am. I don’t want to leave you by yourself&mdash;please, I
-don’t!’ cried Mary, with the ready tears coming to her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>However I sent her away. I was angry, and perhaps unreasonable, as
-people generally are when they are angry; though, when Mary went to bed,
-I confess it was not altogether with an easy mind that I found myself
-alone with the stranger in the silent house. It is always a comfort to
-know that there is some one within reach. I went back softly to the
-drawing-room: she was still lying on the sofa, quite motionless and
-quiet, no longer panting as she had done. When I looked at her closely I
-saw that she had dropped asleep. The light of the lamp was full on her
-face, and yet she had dropped asleep, being, as I suppose, completely
-worn out. I saw her face then for the first time, and it startled me. It
-was not a face which you could describe by any of the lighter words of
-admiration as pretty or handsome. It was simply the most beautiful face
-I ever saw in my life. It was pale and worn, and looked almost like
-death lying back in that attitude of utter weakness on the velvet
-cushions; and, though the eyes were closed, and the effect of them lost,
-it was impossible to believe that the loveliest eyes in the world could
-have made her more beautiful. She had dark hair, wavy and slightly
-curling upon the forehead; her eyelashes were very long and dark, and
-curled upwards; her features, I think, must have been perfect; and the
-look of pain had gone from her face; she was as serene as if she had
-been dead.</p>
-
-<p>I was very much startled by this: so much so that for the moment I sank
-down upon a chair, overcome by confusion and surprise, and did not even
-shade the lamp, as I had intended to do. You may wonder that I should be
-so much surprised, but then you must remember that great beauty is not
-common anywhere, and that to pick it out of the ditch as it were, and
-find it thus in the person of one who might be a mere vagabond and
-vagrant for aught you could tell, was very strange and startling. It
-took away my breath; and then, the figure which belonged to this face
-formed so strange a contrast with it. I know, as everybody else does,
-that beauty is but skin-deep; that it is no sign of excellence, or of
-mental or moral superiority in any way; that it is accidental and
-independent of the character of its<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a>{116}</span> possessor as money is, or anything
-else you are born to: I know all this perfectly well; and yet I feel, as
-I suppose everybody else does, that great beauty is out of place in
-squalid surroundings. When I saw the worn and dusty dress, the cloak
-tightly drawn across her breast, the worn shoes that peeped out from
-below her skirt, I felt ashamed. It was absurd, but such was my feeling;
-I felt ashamed of my good gown and lace, and fresh ribbons. To think
-that I, and hundreds like me, should deck ourselves, and leave this
-creature in her dusty gown! My suspicions went out of my mind in a
-moment. Instead of the uneasy doubt whether perhaps she might have
-accomplices (it made me blush to think I had dreamt of such a thing)
-waiting outside, I began to feel indignant with everybody that she could
-be in such a plight. Reinhardt’s wife! How did he dare, that mean,
-insignificant man, to marry such a creature, and to be cruel to her
-after he had married her! I started up and removed the lamp, shading her
-face, and I took my shawl, which was my best shawl, an Indian one, and
-really handsome, and covered her with it. I did it&mdash;I can’t tell
-why&mdash;with a feeling that I was making her a little compensation. Then I
-opened one of the windows to let in the air, for the night was sultry;
-and then I put myself into my favourite chair, and leant back my head,
-and made myself as comfortable as I could to watch her till she woke. I
-should have thought this a great hardship a little while before, but I
-did not think it a hardship now. I had become her partisan, her
-protector, her servant, in a moment, and all for no reason except the
-form of her features, the look of that sleeping face. I acknowledge that
-it was absurd, but still I know you would have done the same had you
-been in my place. I suspected her no more, had no doubts in my mind, and
-was not the least annoyed that Mary had gone to bed. It seemed to me as
-if her beauty established an immediate relationship between us, somehow,
-and made it natural that I, or any one else who might happen to be in
-the way, should give up our own convenience for her. It was her beauty
-that did it, nothing else, not her great want and solitude, not even the
-name by which she had adjured me;&mdash;her beauty, nothing more. I do not
-defend myself for having fallen prostrate before this primitive power; I
-could not help it, but I don’t attempt to excuse myself.</p>
-
-<p>I must have dozed in my chair, for I woke suddenly, dreaming that some
-one was standing over me and staring at me&mdash;a kind of nightmare. I
-started with a little cry, and for the first moment I was bewildered,
-and could not think how I had got there. Then all at once I saw her, and
-the mystery was solved. She had woke too, and lay on her side on the
-sofa, looking intently at me with a gaze which renewed my first
-impression of terror. She had not moved, she lay in the same attitude of
-exhaustion and grateful repose, with her head thrown back upon the
-cushions. There was only this difference&mdash;that whereas<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a>{117}</span> she had then
-been unconscious in sleep, she was now awake, and so vividly, intensely
-conscious that her look seemed an active influence. I felt that she was
-doing something to me by gazing at me so. She had woke me no doubt by
-that look. She made me restless now, so that I could not keep still. I
-rose up, and made a step or two towards her.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you better? I hope you are better,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>Still she did not move, but said calmly, without any attempt at
-explanation: ‘Are you watching me from kindness or because you were
-afraid I should do some harm?’</p>
-
-<p>She was not grateful: the sight of me woke no kindly feeling in her: and
-I was wounded in spite of myself.</p>
-
-<p>‘Neither,’ said I; ‘you fell asleep, and I preferred staying here to
-waking you; but it is almost morning and the oil is nearly burnt out in
-the lamp. There is a room ready for you; will you come with me now?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am very comfortable,’ she said; ‘I have not been so comfortable for a
-very long time. I have not been well off. I have had to lie on hard beds
-and eat poor fare, whilst all the time those who had a right to take
-care of me&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t think of that now,’ I said. ‘You will feel better if you are
-undressed. Come now and go to bed.’</p>
-
-<p>She kept her position, without taking any notice of what I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have a long story to tell you&mdash;a long story,’ she went on. ‘When you
-hear it you will change your mind about some things. Oh, how pleasant it
-is to be in a nice handsome <i>lady’s</i> room again! How pleasant a carpet
-is, and pictures on the walls! I have not been used to them for a long
-time. I suppose he has every kind of thing, everything that is pleasant;
-and, if he could, he would have liked to see me die at his door. That is
-what he wants. It would be a pleasure to him to look out some morning
-and see me lying like a piece of rubbish under the wall. He would have
-me thrown upon the dust-heap, I believe, or taken off by the scavengers
-as rubbish. Yes, that is what he would like, if he could.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, don’t think so,’ I cried. ‘He cannot be so cruel. He has not a
-cruel face.’</p>
-
-<p>Upon this she sat up, with the passion rising in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘How can you tell?&mdash;you were never married to him!’ she said. ‘He never
-cast you off, never abandoned you, never&mdash;&mdash;’ Her excitement grew so
-great that she now rose up on her feet, and clenched her hand and shook
-it as if at some one in the distance. ‘Oh, no!’ she cried; ‘no one knows
-him but me!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, if you would go to bed!’ I said. ‘Indeed I must insist: you will
-tell me your story in the morning. Come, you must not talk any more
-to-night.’</p>
-
-<p>I did not get her disposed of so easily as this, but after a while she
-did allow herself to be persuaded. My mind had changed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a>{118}</span> about her again,
-but I was too tired now to be frightened. I put her into the west room.
-And oh! how glad I was to lie down in my bed, though I had a stranger in
-the house whom I knew nothing of, and though it only wanted about an
-hour of day!</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER V</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">When</span> I got up, about two hours after, I was in a very uncomfortable
-state of mind, not knowing in the least what I ought to do. Daylight is
-a great matter to be sure, and consoles one in one’s perplexity; but yet
-daylight means the visits of one’s friends, and inquiries into all that
-one has done and means to do. I could not have such an inmate in my
-house without people knowing it. I was thrusting myself as it were into
-a family quarrel which I knew nothing of&mdash;I, one of the most peaceable
-people&mdash;!</p>
-
-<p>When I went down-stairs the drawing-room was still as I had left it, and
-the sofa and its cushions were all marked with dust where my poor
-visitor had lain down. I believe, though Mary is a good girl on the
-whole, that there was a little spite in all this to show me my own
-enormity. A decanter of wine was left on the table too, with the glass
-which had been used last night. It gave the most miserable, squalid look
-to the room, or at least I thought so. Then Mary appeared with her broom
-and dustpan, severely disapproving, and I was swept away, like the dust,
-and took refuge in the garden, which was hazy and dewy, and rather cold
-on this October morning. The trees were all changing colour, the
-mignonette stalks were long and straggling, there was nothing in the
-beds but asters and dahlias and some other autumn flowers. And the
-monthly rose on the porch looked pale, as if it felt the coming frost. I
-went to the gate and looked out upon the Green with a pang of
-discomfort. What would everybody think? There were not many people about
-except the tradespeople going for orders and the servants at their work.
-East Cottage looked more human than usual in the hazy autumn morning
-sun. The windows were all open, and White was sweeping the fallen leaves
-carefully away from the door. I even saw Mr. Reinhardt in his
-dressing-gown come out to speak to him. My heart beat wildly and I drew
-back at the sight. As if Mr. Reinhardt was anything to me! But I was
-restless and uncomfortable and could not compose myself. When I went in
-I could not sit down and breakfast by myself as I usually did. I wanted
-to see how my lodger was, and yet I did not want to disturb her. At last
-I went to the door of the west room and listened. When I heard signs of
-movement inside I knocked and went in. She was still in bed; she was
-lying half-smothered up in the fine linen and downy pillows. On the bed
-there was an eiderdown coverlet covered with crimson<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a>{119}</span> silk, and she had
-stretched out her arm over it and was grasping it with her hand. She
-greeted me with a smile which lighted up her beautiful face like
-sunshine.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, I am better&mdash;I am quite well,’ she said. ‘I am so happy to be
-here.’</p>
-
-<p>She did not put out her hand, or offer any thanks or salutations, and it
-seemed to me that this was good taste. I was pleased with her for not
-being too grateful or affectionate. I believe if she had been very
-grateful and affectionate I should have thought that was best. For again
-the charm came over me&mdash;a charm doubled by her smile. How beautiful she
-was! The warm nest she was lying in, and the pleasure and comfort she
-evidently felt in being there, had brought a little colour to her
-cheeks&mdash;just a very little&mdash;but that became her beauty best. She was
-younger than I thought. I had supposed her to be over thirty last night,
-now she looked five or six-and-twenty, in the very height and fulness of
-her bloom.</p>
-
-<p>‘Shall I send you some breakfast?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, please! I suppose you don’t know how nice it is to lie in a soft
-bed like this, to feel the nice linen and the silk, and to be waited
-upon? You have always been just so, and never known the difference? Ah!
-what a difference it is.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I have been very poor in my time,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Have you? I should not have thought it. But never so poor as me. Let me
-have my breakfast please&mdash;tea with cream in it. May I have some cream?
-and&mdash;anything&mdash;whatever you please; for I am hungry; but tea with
-cream.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Surely,’ I said; ‘it is being prepared for you now.’</p>
-
-<p>And then I stood looking at her, wondering. I knew nothing of her, not
-even her name, and yet I stood in the most familiar relation to her,
-like a mother to a child. Her smile quite warmed and brightened me, as
-she lay there in such childish enjoyment. How strange it was. And it
-seemed to me that everything had gone out of her mind except the
-delightful novelty of her surroundings. She forgot that she was a
-stranger in a strange house, and all the suspicious, unpleasant
-circumstances. When Mary came in with the tray she positively laughed
-with pleasure, and jumped up in bed, raising herself as lightly as a
-child.</p>
-
-<p>‘You must have a shawl to put round your shoulders,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, let me have the beautiful one you put over me last night. What a
-beauty it was! Let me have that,’ she cried.</p>
-
-<p>Mary gave me a warning look. But I was indignant with Mary. I went and
-fetched it almost with tears in my eyes. Poor soul! poor child! like a
-baby admiring it because it was pretty. I put it round her, though it
-was my best; and with my cashmere about her shoulders, and her beautiful
-face all lighted up with pleasure, she was like a picture. I am sure the
-Sleeping Beauty could not have been more lovely when she started from
-her hundred years’ sleep.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a>{120}</span></p>
-
-<p>I went back to the dining-room and took my own breakfast quite
-exhilarated. My perplexities floated away. I too felt like a child with
-a new toy. If I had but had a daughter like that, I said to myself&mdash;what
-a sweet companion, what a delight in one’s life! But then daughters will
-marry; and to think of such a one, bound to a cruel husband, who
-quarrelled with her, deserted her&mdash;Oh, what cruel stuff men are made of!
-What pretext could he have for conduct so monstrous? She was as sweet as
-a flower, and more beautiful than any woman I ever saw; and to leave her
-sitting in the dust at his closed door! I could scarcely keep still; my
-indignation was so great. The bloodless wretch! without ruth, or heart,
-or even common charity. One has heard such tales of men wrapped up in
-some cold intellectual pursuit; how they get to forget everything, and
-despise love and duty, and all that is worth living for, for their
-miserable science. They would rather be fellows of a learned society
-than heads of happy houses; rather make some foolish discovery to be
-written down in the papers, than live a good life and look after their
-own. I have even known cases&mdash;certainly nothing so bad as this&mdash;but
-cases in which a man for his art, or his learning, or something, has
-driven his wife into miserable solitude, or still more miserable
-society. Yes, I have known such cases: and the curious thing is, that it
-is always the weak men, whose researches can be of use to no mortal
-being, who neglect everything for science. The great men are great
-enough to be men and philosophers too. All this I said in my heart with
-a contempt for our scientific gentleman which I did not disguise to
-myself. I finished my breakfast quickly, longing to go back to my guest,
-when all at once Martha and Nelly, the Admiral’s daughters, came running
-in, as they had a way of doing. They were great favourites of mine, or,
-at least, Nelly was&mdash;but I was annoyed more than I could tell to see
-them now.</p>
-
-<p>‘We came in to ask if you were quite well,’ said Nelly. ‘Papa frightened
-us all with the strangest story. He insists that you came home quite
-late, leaning on Mary’s arm, and was sure you must have been ill. You
-can’t think how positive he is, and what a story he made out. He saw you
-from his window coming along the road, so he says; and now I look at
-you, Mrs. Mulgrave, you are a little pale.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was not I, you can tell the Admiral,’ I said. ‘I wonder his sharp
-eyes were deceived. It was a&mdash;friend&mdash;I have staying with me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘A friend you have staying with you? Fancy, Nelly! and we not to know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She came quite late&mdash;yesterday,’ said I. ‘She is in&mdash;very poor health.
-She has come to be&mdash;quiet. Poor thing, I had to give her my arm.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But I thought you were at the Stokes’ last night?’ said Martha.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a>{121}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘So I was; but when I came back it was such a lovely night; you should
-have been out, Nelly, you who are so fond of moonlight. I never saw the
-Green look more beautiful. I could hardly make up my mind to come in.’</p>
-
-<p>Dear, dear, dear! I wonder if all our fibs are really kept an account
-of? As I went on romancing I felt a little shiver run over me. But what
-could I do?</p>
-
-<p>Nelly gave me a look. She was wiser than her sister, who took everything
-in a matter-of-fact way. She gave me a kiss, and said, ‘We had better go
-and satisfy papa. He was quite anxious.’</p>
-
-<p>Nelly knew me best, and she did not believe me. But what story could I
-make up to Lady Denzil, for instance, whose eyes went through and
-through me, and saw everything I thought?</p>
-
-<p>Then I went back to my charge. She had finished her breakfast, but she
-would not part with the shawl. She was sitting up in bed, stroking and
-patting it with her hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is so lovely,’ she said, ‘I can’t give it up just yet. I like myself
-so much better when I have it on. Oh! I should be so much more proud of
-myself than I am if I lived like this. I should feel as if I were so
-much better. And don’t ask me, please! I can’t&mdash;I can’t get up to put
-myself in those dusty hideous clothes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘They are not dusty now,’ I said, and a faint little sense of difficulty
-crossed my mind. She was taking everything for granted, as if she
-belonged to me, and had come on a visit. I think if I had offered to
-give her my Indian cashmere and all the best things I had she would not
-have been surprised.</p>
-
-<p>She made no answer to this. She continued patting and caressing the
-shawl, laying down her beautiful cheek on her shoulder for the pleasure
-of feeling it. It was very senseless, very foolish, and yet it was such
-pretty play that I was more pleased than vexed. I sat down by her,
-watching her movements. They were so graceful always&mdash;nothing harsh, or
-rough, or unpleasant to the eye, and all so natural&mdash;like the movements
-of a child.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know how long I sat and watched her&mdash;almost as pleased as she
-was. It was only when time went on, and when I knew I was liable to
-interruption, that I roused myself up. I tried to lead her into serious
-conversation. ‘You look a great deal better,’ I said, ‘than I could have
-hoped to see you last night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Better than last night? Indeed, I should think so. Please, don’t speak
-of it. Last night was darkness, and this is light.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, but&mdash;&mdash; I fear I must speak of it. I should like to know how you
-got there, and if some one perhaps ought to be written to&mdash;some one who
-may be anxious about you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nobody is anxious about me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed I am sure you must be mistaken,’ I said. ‘I am sure you have
-friends, and then&mdash;&mdash; I don’t want to trouble you, but you must remember
-I don’t know your name.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a>{122}</span></p>
-
-<p>She threw back the shawl off her shoulders all at once, and sat up
-erect.</p>
-
-<p>‘My name is Mrs. Reinhardt: I told you,’ she said, ‘and I hope you don’t
-doubt my word.’</p>
-
-<p>It was impossible to look in her face, and say to her, ‘I don’t know
-anything about you. How can I tell whether your word is to be trusted or
-not?’ This was true, but I could not say it.</p>
-
-<p>I faltered, ‘You were ill last night, and we were both excited and
-confused. I wish very much you would tell me now once again. I think you
-said you would.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I suppose I did,’ she said, throwing the shawl away, and nestling
-down once more among the pillows. A look of irritation came over her
-face. ‘It is so tiresome,’ she said, ‘always having to explain. I felt
-so comfortable just now, as if I had got over that.’</p>
-
-<p>There was an aggrieved tone in her voice, and she looked as if, out of
-her temporary pleasure and comfort, she had been brought back to painful
-reality in an unkind and uncalled-for way. I felt guilty before her. Her
-face said plainly, ‘I was at ease, and all for your satisfaction, for no
-reason at all, you have driven me back again into trouble.’ I cannot
-describe how uncomfortable I felt.</p>
-
-<p>‘If I am to be of any use to you,’ I said apologetically, ‘you must see
-that I ought to know. It is not that I wish to disturb you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Everybody says that,’ she murmured, with an angry pull at the
-bedclothes; and then, all at once, in a moment, she brightened up, and
-met my look with a smile. My relief was immense.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am a cross thing,’ she said; ‘don’t you think so? But it was so nice
-to be comfortable. I felt as it I should like to forget it all, and be
-happy. I felt good&mdash;&mdash; But never mind; you cannot help it. I must go
-back to all the mud, and dirt, and misery, and tell you everything.
-Don’t look distressed, for it is not your fault.’</p>
-
-<p>Every word she said seemed to convince me more and more that it was my
-fault. I could scarcely keep from begging her pardon. How cruel I had
-been! And yet, and yet&mdash;&mdash; My head swam, what with the dim consciousness
-in my mind of the true state of affairs, and the sense of her view of
-the question, which had impressed itself so strongly upon me since I
-came into the room. Which was the right view I could not tell for the
-moment, and bewilderment filled my mind. I could only stare at her, and
-wait for what she pleased to say.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>{123}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="PART_II" id="PART_II"></a>PART II</h3>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER VI</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">After</span> my visitor had got over her little fit of passion I took up my
-shawl&mdash;my good shawl, which she had flung from her&mdash;and put it away; and
-then I sat down by the bedside to hear her story. She had begun to
-think; her face had changed again. Her bewildered sort of feeling (which
-I could not understand, but yet which seemed so natural) that she had
-got over all that was disagreeable, passed away, and her life came back
-to her, as it were. She remembered herself, and her past, which I did
-not know. She did not speak for some time, while I sat there waiting.
-She kept twitching at the clothes, and moving about restlessly from side
-to side. The look of content and comfort which had filled up the thin
-outline of her beautiful face, and given it for the moment the roundness
-of youth, disappeared. At last she looked up at me almost angrily as I
-sat waiting.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, you are so calm,’ she said. ‘You take it all so quietly. You don’t
-know what it is to have your heart broken, and your character destroyed,
-and yourself driven mad. To see you so calm makes me wild. If I am to
-tell you my story I must get up; I must be my own self again; I must put
-on my filthy clothes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘They are not filthy now. There are some clean things, if you like to
-use them,’ I said softly; but I was very glad she should get up. I left
-her to do so with an easier mind, and had the fire made up in the
-dining-room that she might not be in the way of visitors. It was a long
-time before she came, and when she at last made her appearance I found
-she had again wrapped herself in my Indian shawl. To tell the truth, I
-did not like it. I gave a slight start when I saw her, but I could not
-take it from her shoulders. She had put on her old black gown, which had
-been carefully brushed and the clean cuffs and collar I had put out for
-her, and had dressed her hair in a fashionable way. She was dressed as
-poorly as a woman could be, and yet it appeared she had all the pads and
-cushions, which young women were then so foolish as to wear, for her
-hair. She was tall, and very slight, as I had remarked last night, but
-my shawl about her shoulders took away the angularity from her figure,
-and made it dignified and noble. To find fault with such a splendid
-creature for borrowing a shawl! I could as soon have remonstrated with
-the Queen herself.</p>
-
-<p>‘This is not the pretty room you brought me to last night,’ she said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a>{124}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘No; this is the dining-room. I thought it would be quieter and
-pleasanter for you, in case any one should call.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah! yes, that was very considerate for my feelings,’ she said, ‘but I
-am used to it, I am always thrust into a corner now. It did not use to
-be so before that man came and ruined me. Whereabouts is it that he
-lives?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You can see the house from the window,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>Then she went to the window and looked out. She shook her clenched fist
-at the cottage; her face grew dark like a sky covered by a
-thunder-cloud. She came back and seated herself in front of me, wrapping
-herself close in my shawl.</p>
-
-<p>‘When I married him I was as beautiful as the day. That was what they
-all said,’ she began. ‘I was nineteen, and the artists used to go on
-their knees to me to sit to them. I might have married anybody. I don’t
-know why it was that I took him, I must have been mad; twenty years
-older than me at the least, and nothing to recommend him. Of course he
-was rich. Ah! and I was so young, and thought money could buy
-everything, and that it would last for ever. We had a house in town and
-a house in the country, and he gave me a lovely phaeton for the park,
-and we had a carriage and pair. It was very nice at first. He was always
-a curious man, never satisfied, but we did very well at first. He was
-not a man to make a woman happy, but still I got on well enough till he
-sent me away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He sent you away!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes. Oh! that was nothing; that got to be quite common. When he thought
-I was enjoying myself, all at once he would say, “Pack up your things;
-we shall go to the country to-morrow;” always when I was enjoying
-myself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But if he went with you, that was not sending you away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then it was taking me away&mdash;which is much the same&mdash;from all I cared
-for; and he did not always go with me. The last two times I was sent by
-myself as if I had been a prisoner. And then, at last, after years and
-years of oppression, he turned me out of the house,’ she said&mdash;‘turned
-me out! He dared to do it. Oh! only think how I hated him. He said every
-insult to me a man could say, and he turned me out of his house, and
-bade me never come back. One day I was there the mistress of all, with
-everything heart could desire, and the next day I was turned out,
-without a penny, without a home, still so pretty as I was, and at my
-age!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! that was terrible,’ I cried, moved more by her rising passion than
-by her words&mdash;‘that was dreadful. How could he do it? But you went to
-your friends&mdash;?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I had no friends. My people were all dead, and I did not know much
-about them when they were living. He separated me from everybody, and he
-told lies of me&mdash;lies right and left. He had made up his mind to destroy
-me,’ she cried, bursting into sobs. ‘Oh! what a devil he is! Everything
-I could desire one day, and the next turned out!’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>{125}</span></p>
-
-<p>Looking at her where she sat, something came into my throat which choked
-me and kept me from speaking: and yet I felt that I must make an effort.</p>
-
-<p>‘Without any&mdash;cause?’ I faltered with a mixture of confusion and pain.</p>
-
-<p>‘Cause?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I mean, did not he allege something&mdash;say something? He must have given
-some&mdash;excuse&mdash;for himself.’</p>
-
-<p>She looked at me very composedly, not angry, as I had feared.</p>
-
-<p>‘Cause? excuse?’ she repeated. ‘Of course he said it was my fault.’</p>
-
-<p>She kept her eyes on me when she said this; no guilty colour was on her
-face, no flush even of shame at the thought of having been slandered.
-She was a great deal calmer than I was; indeed I was not calm at all,
-but disturbed beyond the power of expression, not knowing what to think.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is very clever,’ she went on. ‘I am clever myself, in a kind of a
-way, but not a match for him. Men have education, you see. They are
-trained what to do; but I was so handsome that nobody thought I required
-any training. If I had been as clever as he is, ah! he would not have
-found it so easy. He drove me into a trap, and then he shut me down
-fast. That is four years ago. Fancy, four years without anything,
-wandering about, none of the comforts I was used to! I wonder how I gave
-in at the time: it was because he had broken my spirit. But I am
-different now; I have made up my mind, until he behaves to me as he
-ought, I will give him no peace, no grace!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you must not be revengeful,’ I said, knowing less and less what to
-say. ‘And if you were not happy together before, I am afraid you would
-not be so now.’</p>
-
-<p>She did not make any answer; a vague sort of smile flitted over her
-face, then she gave a little shiver as of cold, and wrapped the shawl
-closer. ‘A shawl suits me,’ she said, ‘especially since I am so thin. Do
-you think a woman loses as much as they say by being thin? It is my
-heart-disease. When it comes on it is very bad, though afterwards I feel
-just as well as usual. But it must tell on one’s looks. Could you tell
-that I was thin by my face?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ I said, and I did not add, though it was on my lips, ‘O woman, one
-could not tell by your face that you were not an angel or a queen. And
-what are you? What are you?’ Alas! she was not an angel, I feared.</p>
-
-<p>A little while longer she sat musing in silence. How little she had told
-me after all. How much more she must know in that world within herself
-to which she had now retired. At length she turned to me, her face
-lighted up with the most radiant smile. ‘Shall I be a great trouble to
-you?’ she asked. ‘Am I taking up anybody’s room?’</p>
-
-<p>She spoke as a favourite friend might speak who had arrived suddenly,
-and did not quite know what your arrangements<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a>{126}</span> were, though she was
-confident nothing could make her coming a burden to you. She took away
-my breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘N&mdash;no,’ I said; and then I took courage and added: ‘But your friends
-will be expecting you&mdash;the people where you live: and you are better
-now&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>I could not, had my life depended on it, have said more.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, they will not mind much,’ she said. ‘I don’t live anywhere in
-particular. When one thinks that one’s own husband, the man who is bound
-to support one, has a home, and is close at hand, how do you think one
-can stay in a miserable lodging! But he does not care: he will sit there
-doing his horrible problems, and what is it to him if I were to die at
-his door! He would be glad. Yes, he would be glad. He would have me
-carted away as rubbish. He cares for nothing but his books and his
-experiments. I have sat at his door a whole night begging him to take me
-in, begging out of the cold and the snow, and his light has burnt
-steady, and he has gone on with his work, and then he has gone to bed
-and taken no notice. Oh, my God! I should have let him in had he been a
-cat or a dog.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, surely, surely you must be mistaken,’ I cried.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am not mistaken. I heard the window open; he looked down at me, and
-then he went away. I know he knew me: and so he did last night. He knew
-I was there; and he had a fire lighted in the room where he works. So he
-knew it was cold, too; and I his wife, his lawful wedded wife, sitting
-out in the chill. Some time or other he thinks it will be too much for
-me, and I shall die, and he will be free.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is too dreadful to think of,’ said I. ‘I don’t think he could have
-known that you were there.’</p>
-
-<p>She smiled without making any further reply. She held out her thin hands
-to the fire with a little nervous shiver. They would have been beautiful
-hands had they not been so thin, almost transparent. She wore but one
-ring, her wedding-ring; and that was so wide that it was secured to her
-finger with a silk thread. I suppose she perceived that I looked at it.
-She held it up to me with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>‘See,’ she said, ‘how worn it is. But I have never put it off my finger;
-never gone by another name, or done anything to forfeit my rights.
-Whatever he may say against me, he cannot say that.’</p>
-
-<p>At this moment she espied a chair in a corner which looked more
-comfortable than the one she was seated in, and rose and wheeled it to
-the fire. She said no ‘By’r leave’ to me, but did it as if she had been
-at home; there was something so natural and simple in this that I did
-not know how to object to it, but yet&mdash;I have had many a troublesome
-responsibility thrown upon me by strangers, but I was never so
-embarrassed or perplexed in my life. She drew the easy chair to the
-fire, she found a footstool and put her feet on it, basking in the
-warmth. She had my velvet slippers on her feet, my Indian shawl round<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a>{127}</span>
-her shoulders, and here she was settled and comfortable&mdash;for how long? I
-dared not even guess. A sick sort of consciousness came upon me that she
-had established herself and meant to stay.</p>
-
-<p>After a while, during which I sat and watched, sitting bolt upright on
-my chair and gazing with a consternation and bewilderment which I cannot
-express upon her graceful attitude as she reclined back, wooing every
-kind of comfort, she suddenly drew her chair a little nearer to me and
-put her hand upon my knee.</p>
-
-<p>‘Look here,’ she said hurriedly, ‘you must see him for me. If any one
-could move him to do his duty it would be you. You must see him, and
-tell him I am&mdash;willing to go back. Perhaps he may not listen to you at
-first, but if you keep your temper and persevere&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘I?’ said I, dismayed.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, indeed, who else? only you could do it. And if you are patient
-with him and keep your temper&mdash;the great thing with him is to keep your
-temper&mdash;I never could do it, but you could. It would not be difficult to
-you. You have not got that sort of a nature, one can see it in your
-face.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you mistake me, I&mdash;I could not take it upon myself,’ I gasped.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not when I ask you? You might feel you were not equal to it, I allow.
-But when <i>I</i> ask you? Oh, yes, you can do it. It is not so very hard,
-only to keep your temper, and to take no denial&mdash;no denial! Make him say
-he will not be so unkind any more. Oh, how tired it makes me even to
-think of it!’ she cried, suddenly putting up her hands to her face.
-‘Please don’t ask me any more, but do it&mdash;do it! I know you can.’</p>
-
-<p>And then she sat and rocked herself gently with her hands clasped over
-her face. This explanation had been too much for her, and somehow I felt
-that I was blamable, that it was my fault. I sat by her in a kind of
-dream, wondering what had happened to me. Was I under a spell? I did not
-seem able to move a step or raise a hand to throw off this burden from
-me. And the curious thing was that she never thanked me, never
-expressed, nor apparently felt, any sort of gratitude to me, but simply
-signified her will, and took my acquiescence as a right.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER VII</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I cannot</span> tell how I got through that day: she got through it very
-comfortably, I think. In the evening she asked me to go into the pretty
-room she had been in last night.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am so fond of what is pretty,’ she said; ‘I like everything that is
-nice and pleasant. I never would sit in any but the best rooms in the
-house if I had a house like this.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But&mdash;someone might come in,’ I said. ‘To be sure the time<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a>{128}</span> for callers
-is over, but still my neighbours are very intimate with me, and some one
-might come in.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well?’ she said, looking up in my face. ‘If they do, I don’t mind. You
-may have objections perhaps, but I have none. I don’t mind.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! if you don’t mind,’ I said in my consternation; and I took up the
-cushion she had placed in her chair, and carried it humbly for her,
-while she made her way to the drawing-room.</p>
-
-<p>I think I was scarcely in possession of my senses. I was dazed. The
-whole position was so extraordinary. I was ashamed to think of any one
-coming in and finding her there: not because I was ashamed of <i>her</i>, but
-for my own sake. What was I to say to anybody? How was I to explain
-myself? I had taken her in without knowing anything of her, and she had
-taken possession of my house. Fortunately, no one came that night. She
-placed herself on the sofa, where she had lain in her wretchedness the
-night before. She stretched herself out upon it, lying back with an air
-of absolute enjoyment. She had got a book&mdash;a novel&mdash;which she was
-reading, not taking very much notice of me; but now and then she would
-pause to say a word. I think had any one seen us seated together that
-evening, without knowing anything of the circumstances, he would have
-decided that she was the lady of the house and I her humble and rather
-stupid companion. But I was more than rather stupid&mdash;I felt like a fool;
-and that in nothing more than this&mdash;that I could not for my life tell
-what to do.</p>
-
-<p>‘Nobody is coming to-night, I suppose?’ she said at last, putting down
-her book.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I suppose not.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought from what you said you had always some one coming; and I like
-seeing people; I should like of all things to see some of the people
-here. Do you think if they saw me it would make any difference&mdash;&mdash;? Oh,
-I can’t tell you exactly what I mean. I mean&mdash;but it is so very
-unpleasant to be always obliged to explain;’ and then she yawned: and
-then she said: ‘I am so tired; I think I shall go to bed. Hush! was not
-that some one at the door?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is my next neighbour going home,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Does Reinhardt know the people about here?’</p>
-
-<p>‘He has not gone into society at all; but many of them know him to speak
-to,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah! that is always the way; you hide me out of sight, and you send word
-to your people not to come; but everybody is quite ready to make friends
-with him. Oh! I am so tired&mdash;I am tired of everything; life is so dull,
-so monotonous, always the same thing over, no pleasure, no amusement.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I live a very dull, quiet life,’ I said, as firmly as I could; ‘I
-cannot expect it to suit you; and perhaps to-morrow you will be able to
-make arrangements to go to your own home.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ she said, giving a curious little cry. She looked at me,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a>{129}</span> catching
-her breath; and then she cried, ‘My own home!&mdash;my own home! That is at
-the cottage yonder; you will open the door for me, and take me back
-there&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘But how can I? Be reasonable,’ I said. ‘I scarcely know&mdash;your husband;
-I don’t know&mdash;you; how can I mediate between you? I don’t know anything
-of the circumstances. There must have been some cause for all this.
-Indeed it will be a great deal better to go home and get some one to
-interfere who knows all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t you believe in feelings?’ she said suddenly. ‘I do. The first
-time I saw Reinhardt I had the feeling I ought not to have anything to
-do with him, and I neglected it. When I saw you, it went through and
-through me like an arrow: ‘This is the person to do it. And I always
-trust my feelings. I am sure that you can do it, and no one else.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed&mdash;indeed you are mistaken.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh! I am so tired,’ she cried again. ‘Let me go to bed. I can’t argue
-to-night; I am so dreadfully tired.’</p>
-
-<p>This was her way of getting over a difficulty, and what could I do? I
-could not stop her from going to bed; I could not turn her out of my
-house. I went to the door of the west room with her, more embarrassed
-and uncomfortable than could be described. She turned round and waved
-her hand to me as she shut the door. The light of the candle which she
-held shone upon her pale, beautiful face. She had my shawl still round
-her. I, too, had a candle in my hand, and as I strayed back through the
-long passage I am sure I looked like a ghost. Bewilderment was in my
-soul. Had I taken a burden on my shoulders for life? Was I never to be
-free again? Never alone as I used to be? It had only lasted one day; but
-there seemed no reason why it should ever come to an end.</p>
-
-<p>Then I went back and sat over the fire in the drawing-room, till it died
-away into white ashes, trying to decide what I should do. To consult
-somebody was of course my first thought; but whom could I consult? There
-was not one creature on the Green who would not blame me, who would not
-be shocked at my foolishness. I did not dare even to confess it to Lady
-Denzil. I must keep her concealed till I could persuade her to go away.
-And to think she should have been disappointed that nobody came! Good
-heavens! if anybody did come and see her, what should I do? Looming up
-before my imagination, in spite of all my resistance to it, came a
-picture of a possible interview with Mr. Reinhardt. It drove me half
-wild with fear to think of such a thing, and yet I felt as one sometimes
-does, that out of mere terror I should be driven to do it, if I could
-not persuade her to go away. That was my only hope, and I felt already
-what a forlorn hope it was.</p>
-
-<p>And thus another day passed, and another night. She was quite
-well-behaved, and sometimes her beauty overwhelmed me so that I felt I
-could do anything for her; and sometimes her strange calmness and
-matter-of-course way of taking everything<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a>{130}</span> filled me with irritation.
-She never looked or spoke as if she were obliged to me, neither did she
-ever imply, by anything she said or did, that she meant to go away. She
-would stand for a long time by the window, gazing at the East Cottage;
-she even stepped out into the garden through the drawing-room window,
-and went and stood at the gate, looking out, though I called her back,
-and trembled lest she should be seen (and, of course, she was seen); but
-the answer she gave me when I objected put a stop to the controversy.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are afraid to let people see me,’ she said; ‘but I don’t mind.
-There is nothing to be ashamed of in looking at Reinhardt’s house. If
-any one calls, it is quite the same to me. Indeed I would rather be seen
-than otherwise. I think it is right that people should see me.’</p>
-
-<p>To this I made no answer, for my heart was growing faint. And then she
-turned, and seized my arm&mdash;it was in the garden.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh!’ she said, ‘listen to me. When are you going to see him? Are you
-going to-day?’</p>
-
-<p>As she spoke the sound of footsteps quite close to us made me start. I
-had my back to the gate, and she was standing close to the verandah, so
-that she saw who was coming though I could not. She dropped my arm
-instantly; she subdued her voice; she put on a smile; and then she
-half-turned, and began to gather some rosebuds from the great monthly
-rose, with the air of one who is waiting to be called forward.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave! we have found you at last,’ said a voice in my ear,
-and, turning round, I saw the Stokes&mdash;Lottie and Lucy, and their brother
-Everard, a short way behind, following them on to the lawn.</p>
-
-<p>‘At last?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, and I think we have a very good right to complain. Why, you have
-shut yourself up for two whole days. The Green is in a commotion about
-it,’ said Lottie, as she kissed me; and she threw a quick glance at the
-stranger, whom she did not know, and asked me, ‘Who is that?’ with her
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘And somebody said you had visitors, but we would not believe it,’ Lucy
-began, open-mouthed.</p>
-
-<p>‘And so she has&mdash;one visitor, at least,’ said my guest, turning round,
-with her hand full of roses. Then she stopped short, and a look, which
-was half alarm, crept over her face. Everard Stoke was coming up behind.</p>
-
-<p>‘How do you do, Mrs. Mulgrave?’ he said in his languid way. ‘It is not
-my fault if I came in unceremoniously. It’s the girls who are to blame.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There is no one to blame,’ said I, turning round, and holding out my
-hand to him.</p>
-
-<p>But even in the moment of my turning round a change had come over him.
-He gave a slight start, and he looked straight over my shoulder at my
-companion. I said to myself that perhaps they knew each other, and
-forgave him his rudeness. But the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a>{131}</span> next moment he went on hastily, ‘We
-must not stay now. Lottie, I have just remembered something I promised
-to do for my mother. I have just thought of it. Mrs. Mulgrave will
-excuse me. Come away quick, please.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why, we have but just arrived!’ said Lucy, full of a girl’s resistance.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come!’ her brother said; and before I could speak he had swept them
-away again, leaving me in greater consternation than ever. My companion
-had turned back, and was busy again among the roses, gathering them. I
-had not even her to respond to my look of wonder. What was the meaning
-of it? Could they have known each other, Everard and she?</p>
-
-<p>‘Your friends are gone very soon,’ she said without turning to me; ‘it
-is rather strange; but I suppose they are strange people. Oh! how sweet
-these roses are&mdash;I never thought such pale roses could be so sweet.’</p>
-
-<p>I made her no answer, and, what was strangest of all, she did not seem
-to expect it, for immediately after she went back into the drawing-room,
-and the next minute I heard her voice singing as if on the way to her
-own room. The more I thought of it the more strange it seemed.</p>
-
-<p>That night she began to question me about my neighbours on the Green,
-and somehow managed to bring the conversation to the people who had
-called.</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought I knew the man’s face; I must have met him out,’ she said,
-looking at me steadily.</p>
-
-<p>Everard Stoke did not bear a good character on the Green. To have known
-him was no recommendation to any one; and this encounter did not
-increase my happiness. But after that first evening it did not disturb
-her. Next day went on like the previous one. I told the servants not to
-admit any visitors, and I felt as if I must be going mad. I could think
-only of one subject, my imagination could bring forward but one picture
-before me, and that was of a meeting with Mr. Reinhardt, which I kept
-going over in my mind. I said to myself, ‘I could not do it&mdash;I could not
-do it,’ with an angry vehemence, and yet I seemed to see just how he
-would look, and to hear what we were to say. It seemed to be the only
-outlet out of this impossible position in which I stood.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER VIII</h4>
-
-<p class="nind">‘<span class="smcap">Lady Denzil</span> says she must see you, please, ma’am,’ said Mary at my room
-door.</p>
-
-<p>It had lasted for a week and I was downright ill. She would not go away;
-when I represented to her that I could not go on keeping her, that she
-must go to her own home, wherever that was, she either moaned that she
-had no home, or that I must<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a>{132}</span> open a way for her back to her husband. She
-was quite unmoved by my attempts to dislodge her. I told her I had
-people coming, and she assured me she did not mind, that there was
-plenty of room in the house, and that, if I wished it, she would change
-into a smaller chamber. This drove me almost out of my senses, I could
-not turn her out by force. I dared not face the criticisms of my
-neighbours: I shut myself up. I got a headache which never left me, and
-the result was, that I was quite ill. I had been lying down in my own
-room to try to get a little quiet and respite from the pain in my head;
-and I was impatient in my trouble, and felt disposed to turn my back on
-all the world.</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot see her,’ I said impatiently. ‘I am not well enough to see any
-one.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Please, ma’am, is that what I am to say?’ asked Mary.</p>
-
-<p>Then I recollected myself. Lady Denzil was my close friend and
-counsellor. I had been admitted into the secret places of her life, and
-she knew me in every aspect of mine. I would not send such a reply to my
-old friend. I rose from my sofa and went stumbling to the door, feeling
-more miserable than I can say. ‘Tell her I have a very bad headache,
-Mary. I will try to see her to-morrow. Give her my love, and say that I
-could not talk to-day, nor explain anything. If she will please leave it
-till to-morrow!&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Please, ma’am,’ said Mary, earnestly, ‘I think it would be a deal
-better if you could make up your mind to see my lady to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot do it&mdash;I cannot do it!’ I said. ‘If you but knew how my head
-aches! Give her my dear love, but I must keep quiet. If you tell her
-that, she will understand.’</p>
-
-<p>‘If you won’t give no other answer, ma’am&mdash;’ said Mary, disapprovingly;
-and I had lost my wits so completely that I actually locked the door
-when she went down-stairs, in case some one should force the way. I went
-back to my sofa and lay down again. I had closed the shutters, I don’t
-know why&mdash;not that the light hurt me, but because I did not feel able to
-bear anything. I never lost my head in the same way before. I was
-irritable to such a degree that I could not bear any one to speak to
-me&mdash;this was, I suppose, because I felt that nobody would approve of me,
-and was ashamed of myself and my weakness. While I lay thus, <i>she</i> began
-to sing down-stairs; she had a pretty voice; there was a quaver in it,
-which was in reality a defect, but did not appear so when she sang. Her
-voice, I felt sure, could be heard half over the Green, and Lady Denzil
-would be sure to hear it, and what would they think of me? They would
-think she was a relation, somebody belonging to me, whom I had motive
-for hiding. No one would believe that she was a mere stranger whom I
-knew nothing of.</p>
-
-<p>I kept as much away from her as I could during the day, and in the
-evening, when I came down-stairs, I managed to steal<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a>{133}</span> out by myself for
-a walk. I thought the fresh air would do me good, and, as all the people
-were at dinner, I was not likely to meet any one. When I felt myself
-outside and free, I stood still for a moment, and in my weakness three
-or four different impulses came upon me. In the first place I had a
-temptation to run away. It seems absurd to write it, but my feeling of
-nervous irritation was so great that I actually entertained for a moment
-the idea of abandoning my own house because this strange woman had taken
-possession of it. And then I thought of rushing to Lady Denzil, whom I
-had not long before sent away from my door, and entreating her to come
-and save me. When I had made but a few steps from my own gate a nervous
-terror made me pause again, and, turning round suddenly, I almost ran
-against some one coming in the opposite direction. I made a
-half-conscious clutch at him when I saw who it was, and then tried to
-hurry past in the fluctuations of my despair. But he stopped, struck, I
-suppose, by the strangeness of my looks.</p>
-
-<p>‘Can I do anything for you?’ he asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes&mdash;everything!’ I gasped forth, not knowing what I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I! That is strange&mdash;that is very strange! but if it should be so!&mdash;Will
-you lean upon my arm, Mrs. Mulgrave? you are very much agitated.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I am very much agitated, but I will not lean upon you,
-for perhaps you will think I am your enemy&mdash;though I don’t mean to be
-anybody’s enemy, Heaven knows.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ he said. This little cry came from him unawares, and he fell back
-a step, and his face, which was like ivory, took a yellower pale tint. I
-do not mean that I observed this in my agitation at the moment, but I
-felt it. His countenance changed. He already divined what it was.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am very sure of that&mdash;that you mean only to be kind to all the
-world,’ he said. He had a slight foreign accent, a roll of the <i>r</i> which
-is not in an English voice, and he spoke very deliberately, like one to
-whom English was an acquired language. I think this struck me now for
-the first time.</p>
-
-<p>Then we paused and looked at each other&mdash;he on his guard; I, trembling
-in every limb trying to remember what I had said in my imaginary
-interviews with him, and feeling as if my very mind had gone. I made a
-despairing attempt to collect myself, to state her case in the best
-possible way, but I might as well have tried any impossible feat of
-athletics. I could not do it.</p>
-
-<p>‘There is a lady,’ I faltered, ‘in my house.’</p>
-
-<p>A kind of smile crossed his face at the first words. He gave a nod as if
-to say, ‘I know it;’ but again a change came over him when I finished my
-sentence.</p>
-
-<p>‘In your house!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, in my house,’ I went on, finding myself at last wound up to
-speech. ‘I found her on Friday last at your door&mdash;seated in the dust,
-almost dying.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a>{134}</span></p>
-
-<p>Here he stopped, making an incredulous movement&mdash;a shrug of the
-shoulders, an elevation of the eyebrows.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is true,’ I said: ‘she has heart-disease: she could scarcely walk
-the little distance to my house. Had you seen her, as I did, panting,
-gasping for very breath&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should have thought it a fiction,’ he said, bitterly, ‘and I know her
-best.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was no fiction. Oh, you may have had your wrongs. I say nothing to
-the contrary,’ I cried: ‘for anything I can tell, you may have been
-deeply wronged; but she is so beautiful, and so young, and loves
-pleasure and luxury so&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>I think he heard only the half of what I said, and that struck him like
-an unexpected arrow. He turned from me and walked a few steps away, and
-then came back again. ‘So beautiful and so young,’ he cried. ‘Who should
-know that so well as I?&mdash;who should know that so well as I?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You know it, and still you let her sit at your door all through the
-lonely night? I would not let a tramp shiver at mine if I could help it.
-You let her perish within reach of you. You condemn her at her age, with
-her lovely face, unheard&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>He put out his hand to stop me. He was as much agitated as I was. ‘Her
-lovely face,’ he said to himself,&mdash;‘oh, her lovely face!’ That was the
-point at which I touched him. It woke recollections in him which were
-more eloquent than anything I could say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said, ‘think of it.’ I do not know by what inspiration I laid
-hold upon this feature of the story&mdash;her beauty; perhaps because it was
-the real explanation of the power she had acquired over me.</p>
-
-<p>But in a minute more he had overcome his agitation; he came to a sudden
-pause in front of me and looked at me in the face, though there were
-signs of a conflict in his. ‘It is vain to attempt to move me,’ he said,
-hoarsely. ‘I do not know why you should take it in hand, or why you
-should try to attain your object in this way. I did not expect it from
-such as you. Her lovely face&mdash;does that make her good or true or fit for
-a man’s wife?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No doubt it was for that you married her,’ said I, with an impulse I
-could not restrain.</p>
-
-<p>He turned away from me again; he made a few hasty steps and then he came
-back. ‘I do not choose to discuss my own history with a stranger,’ he
-said; and then softening into politeness: ‘You said I could do something
-for you. What can I do?’</p>
-
-<p>This question suddenly brought me to a standstill, for even in my
-perplexity and confusion, and the state of semi-despair I had been
-thrown into by my visitor, a vestige of reason still remained in my
-mind. After all he must know her and his own concerns better than I
-could. His question seemed to stop my breath. ‘She is in my house,’ I
-said.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are too charitable, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ he answered harshly.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a>{135}</span> His voice
-sounded loud and sharp to me after the subdued tone in which we had been
-speaking, for we were the only two living creatures visible on the
-Green. Everything was quiet around us, and the night beginning to fall.</p>
-
-<p>‘I did not mean to be charitable,’ I said, feeling that there was,
-without any consciousness of mine, a tone of apology in my voice. ‘I did
-not expect&mdash;what has happened. I meant her to leave me&mdash;next day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She will never leave you as long as you will keep her and give her all
-she wants,’ he said, in the same sharp, harsh voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘Then Heaven help me!’ I cried, in my confusion, ‘what am I to do?’</p>
-
-<p>He seized my arm, so that he hurt me, in what seemed a sudden access of
-passion. ‘It will teach you not to thrust yourself into other people’s
-concerns, or meddle with what does not concern you,’ he said. He had
-come quite close to me, and his face was flushed with passion. I think
-it was the only time I was ever so spoken to in my life. The effect was
-bewildering, but I was more surprised than afraid. In short, the curious
-shock of this unexpected rage, the rude, sudden touch, the angry voice,
-brought me to myself.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think you forget yourself, Mr. Reinhardt,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>Then he dropped my arm as if the touch burned him, and turned away, and
-shook, as I could see, with the effort to control himself. His passion
-calmed me, but it swept over him like a storm. He muttered something at
-length, hurriedly, in which there was the word ‘pardon,’ as if he were
-forced most unwillingly to say it, and then he turned round upon me
-again: ‘I may have forgotten myself, as you say; but you force me to
-face a subject I would give the world to forget, and in the only way
-that makes it unavoidable. Good heavens! your amiability, and your
-Christianity, and all that, force me to take up again what I had put
-from me for ever. And you look for politeness, too!’</p>
-
-<p>I did not make any answer: what was the use? At bottom, I did blame
-myself; I should not have interfered; I should have been firm enough and
-strong enough to take her to her home, wherever it was: I did not stand
-upon my defence. I let him say what he would; and I cannot tell how long
-this went on. I suppose the interval was not nearly so long as it seemed
-to me. He stood before me, and he smiled and frowned, and ground his
-teeth and discharged, as it were, bitter sentences at me. Englishmen can
-be brutal enough, but no Englishman, I think, would have done it in this
-way. He seemed to take a pleasure in saying everything that was most
-disagreeable. When he scowled at me I could bear it, but when he smiled
-and affected politeness I grew so angry that I could have struck him.
-Poor wretch! perhaps there was some justification for him after all.</p>
-
-<p>‘Because you are a woman!’ he cried. ‘A woman!&mdash;what it is to be a
-woman! It gives you a right to set every power of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a>{136}</span> hell in motion, and
-always to be spared the consequences; to upset every arrangement of the
-world, and disturb the quiet, and put your fingers into every mess, and
-always to be held blameless. That is your right. Oh, I like those
-women’s rights! I should have knocked down the man who had interfered as
-you have done; but, because you are a woman, I must come out of my
-quiet, I must derange my life, to save you from your folly. God in
-heaven! was that what those creatures, those slaves, those toys were
-made for? To interfere&mdash;for ever to interfere&mdash;and to be spared the
-consequences at any cost to us?’</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know how I bore it all. I got tired after a while of the mere
-physical effort of standing to listen to him. I did not try to answer at
-first, and after the torrent began I could not, he spoke so fast and so
-vehemently. But at length I turned from him, and walked slowly, as well
-as I was able, to my own door. He paused for a moment as if in surprise,
-and then turned and walked on with me, talking and gesticulating.
-‘Nothing else would have disturbed me,’ he said; ‘I had made my
-arrangements. How was I to tell that a fool, a woman,&mdash;would thrust
-herself into it, and put it on my honour as a gentleman to free her?
-What has honour to do with it? Why should I trouble more for a woman&mdash;an
-old woman&mdash;than for a man? Bah! Ah, I will be rude; yes, I am rude; it
-is a pleasure&mdash;it is a compensation. You are plain; you are old. You
-have lost what charms. Therefore, what right have you to be considered?
-Why should you not bear your own folly? Why should I interfere?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Pray make yourself quite easy about me,’ I said, roused in my turn. ‘I
-did not appeal to you on my account, and anything you can do for me
-would be dearly purchased by submitting to this violence. Go your own
-way, and leave me to manage my own concerns.’</p>
-
-<p>He stopped, bewildered; and then he asked with confusion, ‘What do you
-call your own concerns?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nothing that can any way affect you,’ I said, and in my passion I went
-in at my own gate and closed it upon him. I stood on one side defying
-him, and he stood on the other with confusion and amazement on his face.</p>
-
-<p>‘You do not wish my help any more?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No more. I shall act for myself, without thought of you,’ I said. He
-stood and gazed at me for a moment, and then suddenly he turned round
-and left me. I looked after him as he walked rapidly away, and I confess
-that, notwithstanding my indignation and pride, my heart sank. He was
-the only creature who could help me, and I had driven him away. I had
-taken once more upon myself the task which it had made me half frantic
-to think of. My heart fell. I looked back upon my house, which had been
-such a haven of quietness and rest for so many years, and felt that the
-Eden was spoiled&mdash;that it was no longer my paradise. And yet I had
-rejected the only help! I was very forlorn, standing there with my hand
-upon my gate<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a>{137}</span> under the chilly October stars, having thrust all my
-friends from me, and refused even the only possible deliverance. ‘I
-cannot allow myself to be insulted,’ I said to myself, trying to get
-some comfort from my pride, but that was cold consolation. I turned
-round to go in, sighing and ready to sink with fatigue and trouble; and
-then I suddenly heard moans coming from the house, and Mary calling and
-beckoning from the open door.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER IX</h4>
-
-<p class="nind">‘<span class="smcap">Oh</span>, ma’am, the poor lady’s took bad&mdash;the poor dear lady’s took very
-bad!’ This was Mary’s cry as she hurried me in. The windows were all
-wide open to give her air. She was lying on the sofa gasping for breath,
-her mouth and her eyes open, two hectic circles of red upon her cheeks,
-and that wildly anxious look upon her face which always accompanies a
-struggle for breath. I did not feel at all sure that she was not dying.
-I called out to my cook to run instantly for the doctor. Both the women
-had been in the room running about as she gave them wild orders, opening
-the windows one after another, fetching her fans, eau-de-cologne, water,
-wine&mdash;as one thing after another occurred to her. She stretched out her
-hands to me as I came in, and grasped and pulled me to her; she said
-something which I could not make out in her gasping, broken voice, and I
-nodded my head and pretended to understand, saying, ‘Yes, yes,’ to calm
-her&mdash;‘Yes, yes.’ It did not seem to matter what one said or promised at
-such a moment. For some time, every gasp looked to me as if it must be
-her last. I bathed her forehead with eau-de-cologne, I wetted her lips
-with wine; I had hard ado not to cry out, too, in sympathy with her
-distress. I shut down now one window, now another, fearing the cold for
-her, and then opening them again, in obedience to her gestures to give
-her air. I seem to see and to feel now, as I recall it, the room so
-unlike itself, with the cold night air blowing through and through it,
-and the great squares of blackness and night, with a bit of sky in one,
-which broke confusedly the familiar walls, and made it doubtful to my
-bewildered and excited mind whether I was out of doors or in&mdash;whether
-the chairs and sofa and the lamp on the table had been transported into
-the garden, or the garden had invaded the house. The wind made me
-shiver; the flame of the lamp wavered even within its protecting glass;
-darkness and mystery breathed in; and, in the centre absorbing all
-thoughts, was this struggle between, as I thought, death and life. I
-cannot tell how time passed, or how long we were in this suspense; but
-it seemed to me that half the night must have been over before the
-doctor came, in evening dress, with huge white wristbands, as if he were
-going to perform an operation. Notwithstanding the anxiety I was in,
-this fantastic<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a>{138}</span> idea flashed across my mind: for his cuffs were always
-too long and white. But it was a relief beyond description when he came:
-the responsibility, at least, seemed to be taken off my shoulders. I had
-scarcely permitted myself to hope before that the paroxysm was already
-beginning to subside; but now it became evident to me; and Dr. Houghton
-gave her something, which at once relieved her. I sat down beside the
-sofa, feeling half stupefied with the sensation of relief, and watched
-her breathing gradually grow calmer, and the struggle abate. I think my
-own brain had given way slightly under the tension. It seemed to me that
-the room behind me was full of people whispering and flitting about, and
-that all kinds of echoes and murmurs of voices were coming in at the
-open windows. I suppose it was only my own maids, and Susan from the
-Admiral’s next door who had come to see what was the matter; but the
-strange sensation of being almost in the open air, and the worn-out
-state in which I was, produced this effect. I could not move however to
-put a stop to it. I could do nothing but sit still and watch. And thus
-the scene of the first evening, when I brought this strange inmate home
-to my house, reproduced itself, with another bewildering effect, before
-my eyes. She was no longer dusty and miserable; her poor black dress was
-neat and covered by my shawl; her hair had been elaborately dressed,
-and, though a little disordered, still showed how carefully it had been
-arranged; but otherwise, the attitude, the look, were exactly the same.
-Her head was thrown back in utter exhaustion upon the dark velvet
-pillow, which showed it in relief, like a white cameo on the dark
-background of the <i>pietra dura</i>. Her eyes were softly closed, and her
-lips. The doctor, who had gone away to write a prescription, was struck
-by her wonderful beauty, as I had been that night. He started in his
-surprise when he came back and saw how she had dropped asleep. He drew
-me aside in his amazement; the discovery flashed upon him all in a
-moment, as it had done on me. When a woman is very ill, when one’s mind
-is full of anxiety for her, her beauty is the last thing one thinks of.
-So that the sudden sight of her confounded him. ‘How beautiful she is!’
-he said in my ear with a certain agitation; and though I am only a
-woman, I had been agitated, too, when I found it out.</p>
-
-<p>It was just when the doctor had said this that my eye was suddenly
-caught by a strange figure at one of the open windows. It stepped on to
-the sill, dark against the blackness without, and there paused a moment.
-Had this occurred at any other time I should, no doubt, have been very
-much frightened, I should have rushed to the window and demanded to know
-what he wanted, with terror and indignation; but to-night I took it as a
-matter of course. I did not even move, but kept still by the side of my
-patient’s sofa and looked at him: and when he came in it seemed to me
-the most natural thing in the world. He entered with a sudden, impetuous
-movement as if something had pushed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a>{139}</span> him forward. He advanced into the
-middle of the room&mdash;into the little circle round the sofa. It was Mr.
-Reinhardt. He had never been in my house before, or in any house on the
-Green, and Dr. Houghton looked at him and looked at me with positive
-consternation. For my part, I gave him no greeting. I did not say a
-word. It seemed natural that he should come, that was all.</p>
-
-<p>There was a curious sort of smile upon his face; he was wound up to some
-course of action or other. What he thought of doing I cannot tell. His
-face looked as if he had come with the intention of taking her by the
-shoulders and turning her out. I don’t know why I thought so, but there
-was a certain mixture of fierceness, and contempt, and impatience in his
-look which suggested the idea. ‘I have come to put a stop to all this. I
-shall not put up with it for a moment longer.’ Though he did not speak a
-word, this seemed to sound in my ears, somehow, as if he had said it in
-his mind. But when he came to the sofa and saw her laid out in that dead
-sleep, her face white as marble, the blue veins visible on her closed
-eyelids, the breath faintly coming and going, he came to a sudden pause.
-I think for the first moment he thought she was dead. He gave a short
-cry, and then turned to me wildly, as if I were responsible. ‘You have
-killed her,’ he said. He was in that state of suppressed passion in
-which anything might happen. He would have railed at her had he found
-her conscious, he would have railed at me if I would have let him: he
-was half mad.</p>
-
-<p>‘Tell him,’ I said, turning to the doctor. Dr. Houghton was a man of the
-world, and tried very hard not to look surprised. He put his hand upon
-Mr. Reinhardt’s shoulder to draw him away: but he would not be drawn
-away. He stood fast there, with his brows contracted and his eyes fixed
-on the sleeping face: he listened to the doctor’s explanations without
-moving or looking up. He said not a word further to any one, but drew a
-chair in front of the sofa and sat down there with his eyes fixed upon
-her. Oh, what thoughts must have been going through his mind. The woman
-whom he had loved&mdash;I do not doubt passionately in his way&mdash;whom he had
-married, whom he had cast away from him! And there she lay before him
-unconscious, unaware of his presence, beautiful as when she had been
-his, like a creature seen in a dream.</p>
-
-<p>‘He had better be got to go away before she wakes,’ Dr. Houghton said in
-my ear. ‘Do you think you can make one more exertion, Mrs. Mulgrave, and
-send him away? Can you hear what I am saying? She will be in a very weak
-state, and any excitement might be dangerous. I don’t know what
-connection there is between them, but can’t you send him away? Who is
-this next?’</p>
-
-<p>This time it was a very timid figure at the window, a halting, furtive
-old man peeping in. And somehow this, too, seemed quite natural to me. I
-felt that I knew everything that happened as if I had planned it all
-beforehand. ‘It is his servant<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a>{140}</span> come to look for him,’ said I. And the
-doctor went to the window with impatience and pulled poor old White in,
-and shut it down.</p>
-
-<p>‘The draught goes through and through one,’ he said, with a shiver. It
-was quite true; I was trembling with cold where I sat by the sleeping
-woman’s side; but it had not occurred to me to shut the window;
-everything seemed unchangeable, as if we had nothing to do with it
-except to accept whatever happened. When White came in he looked round
-him with great astonishment, and made me a very humble, frightened bow,
-while he whispered and explained to the doctor how it was he had taken
-the liberty. Then he gradually approached his master;&mdash;but when he saw
-the figure on the sofa consternation swallowed up all his other
-sentiments. He flung his arms above his head and uttered a stifled cry,
-and then he rushed at his master with a sudden vehemence which showed
-how deeply the sight had moved him. He put his hand upon Mr. Reinhardt’s
-shoulder and shook him gently.</p>
-
-<p>‘Sir, sir!’ he cried; then stooped to his ear and whispered, ‘Master;
-Mr. Reinhardt; master!’ Reinhardt took no notice of the old man, he sat
-absorbed with his eyes fixed on that marble, beautiful face. ‘Oh, sir,
-come with me! Oh! come with me, my dear master!’ said the old man. ‘You
-know what I’m saying is for your good&mdash;you know it’s for your good. It’s
-getting late, sir, time for the house to be shut up. Oh, Mr.
-Reinhardt&mdash;sir, come away with me! come with me&mdash;do!’</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Reinhardt pushed him impatiently away, but did not answer a word; he
-never removed his eyes from her for a moment. They seemed to me to grow
-like Charon’s eyes, like circles of fire, while he gazed at her. Was it
-in wrath&mdash;was it in love?</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Mulgrave, ma’am,’ cried White, turning to me, but always in a
-voice which was scarcely above a whisper, ‘Oh, speak to him! It ain’t
-for his good to sit and stare at her like that. I know what comes of it.
-If he sits like that and looks to her it’ll all begin over again. He
-ain’t a man that can stand it, he ain’t indeed. Oh, my lady, if you’ll
-be a friend to him, speak and make him go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ said a soft, sighing voice. ‘Ah! old White!’ We all started as if
-a shell had fallen among us: and yet it was not wonderful that she
-should wake with all this conversation going on by her bed&mdash;and besides
-she had slept a long time, more than an hour. She had not changed her
-position in the least, all she had done was to open her eyes. I don’t
-know whether it was simply her supreme yet indolent self-estimation
-which kept her from paying us the compliment of making any movement on
-our account, or if it was from some consciousness that her beauty could
-not be shown to greater advantage. But certainly she did not move. She
-only opened her eyes, and said, ‘Ah, old White!’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a>{141}</span></p>
-
-<p>But oh, to see how the man started, who was nearer to her than White! It
-was as if a ball or a sword-stroke had gone through him. He sprang from
-his chair, and then he checked himself and drew it close and sat down
-again. He glanced round upon us all as if he would have cleared not only
-the chamber but the world of us, had it been possible, and then he leant
-over her and said sternly, ‘There are others here besides White.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ Either she was afraid of him or pretended to be; she clutched at
-my sleeve with her hand, she shrank back a little, but still did not
-change her attitude nor raise herself so as to see his face.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am here,’ he went on, his voice trembling with passion. ‘I whom you
-have hunted, whose life you have poisoned. Oh, woman! you dare not look
-at me nor speak to me, but you wrong me behind my back. You whisper
-tales of me wherever I go. Here I had a moment’s peace and you have
-ruined it. Tell these people the truth once in your life. Is it I that
-am in the wrong or you?’</p>
-
-<p>A frightened look had stolen over her face, her eyebrows contracted as
-with fear. Her eyes became full of tears, and the corners of her
-beautiful mouth quivered. Heaven forgive me! I asked myself was it all
-feigning, or had she something kinder and better in her which I had
-never seen till now? But those eyes, which were like great cups of light
-filled with dew, once more turned to him. She remained immovable,
-looking up to his face, when he repeated hoarsely, ‘You or I, which is
-in the wrong?’</p>
-
-<p>She answered with a shiver which ran all over her, ‘I.’ Her voice was
-like a sigh. I did not know what his wrongs might be, but whatever they
-were, at that moment there could be no doubt about it. He, a hard,
-unsympathetic, inhuman soul, it must be he that was in the wrong, not
-she, though she confessed it so sweetly; and if this effect was produced
-upon me, what should it be upon him?</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Reinhardt shook like a leaf in the wind. He had not expected this.
-It was a surprise to him. He had expected to be blamed. It startled him
-so, that for the moment he was silent, gazing at her. But old White was
-not silent. ‘Oh! master, master, come away, come home,’ he pleaded,
-wringing his hands; and then he came and touched my shoulder and cried
-like a child. ‘Speak to him, send him away!’ he cried. ‘It is for his
-own good. If she speaks to him like that, if she keeps her temper, it is
-all over; it will have all to be begun again.’</p>
-
-<p>Reinhardt made a long pause. He looked as if he were gathering up his
-strength to speak again, and when he did so, it was with the fictitious
-heat of a man whose heart is melting. ‘How dare you say “I,”<span class="lftspc">’</span> he said,
-‘when you do not mean it?&mdash;when all your life you have said otherwise?
-You have reproached me, stirred up my friends against me, kept your own
-sins in the background and published mine. You have done this for
-years,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a>{142}</span> and now is it a new art you are trying? Do not think you can
-deceive me,’ he cried, getting up in his agitation; ‘it is impossible. I
-am not such a credulous fool.’</p>
-
-<p>She kept her eyes on the ceiling, not looking at him; the moisture in
-them seemed to swell, but did not overflow. ‘I may not change then?’ she
-said, very low. ‘I may not see that I am wrong? I am not to be permitted
-to repent?’</p>
-
-<p>He turned from her and began to pace up and down the room; he plucked at
-his waistcoat and cravat as though they choked him. More than once he
-returned to the sofa as if with something to say, but went away again.
-When White approached, he was pushed away with impatience, and once with
-such force that he span round as he was driven back. This last repulse
-seemed to convince him. ‘Be a fool, then, if you will, sir,’ he said
-sharply, and withdrew altogether into a corner, where he watched the
-scene. I do not think Reinhardt even saw this or anything else. He was
-walking up and down hastily like a man out of his mind, struggling, one
-could not but see, with a hundred demons, and tempting his fate.</p>
-
-<p>He came back again however in his tumultuous uncertainty, and bent over
-her once more. ‘Talk of repentance&mdash;talk of change,’ he cried bitterly.
-‘How often have you pretended as much? Do you hear me, woman?’ (bending
-down so close that his breath must have touched her)&mdash;‘how often have
-you done it? how often have you pretended? Oh, false, false as death!’</p>
-
-<p>She put her hand upon his shoulder, almost on his neck. He broke away
-from her with a hoarse cry; he made another wild march round the room.
-Then he came back.</p>
-
-<p>‘Julia,’ he cried, ‘Julia, Julia, Julia! Mine!’</p>
-
-<p>She lay still as a tiger that is going to spring. He fell on his knees
-beside her, weeping, storming in his passion. Good Lord! was it my
-doing? was I responsible? White gave me a furious look, and rushed out
-of the room. The husband and wife were reconciled.</p>
-
-<h4>CHAPTER X</h4>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> is about the end of the story so far as I am concerned. He spent
-the night there by her sofa, kissing her dress and her hands, and
-watching her in a transport of passion and perhaps delight. For the last
-I would not answer. It must have been at best a troubled joy; and a
-man’s infatuation for a beautiful face is not what I call love, though
-it is often a very tragic and terrible passion. He took her away in the
-morning, but not to his own house. They went straight from mine to
-London, that great receptacle of everybody’s misery and happiness. I saw
-them both before they left, though only for a moment. She was still
-lying on the sofa as when I left her, and the half disorder<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a>{143}</span> of her
-hair, the exhaustion in her face, seemed rather to enhance her beauty.
-Any one else would have looked jaded and worn out, but a faint flush of
-triumph and satisfaction had stolen over her (partly perhaps produced by
-her weakness) and woke the marble into life. She stretched out her hand
-to me carelessly as I went in. She said with a smile, ‘You see my
-feeling was right. I always trust my feelings. I knew you were the
-person to do it, and you have done it. I felt it whenever I saw your
-face.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope it will be lasting, and that you may be happy,’ I said,
-faltering, not knowing what tone to take.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, it is to be hoped so. He is going to take me to London,’ she
-answered carelessly. ‘I am quite sorry to leave your nice house,
-everything has been so comfortable. It is small and it is plain, but you
-know how to make yourself comfortable. I suppose when one has lived so
-long one naturally does.’</p>
-
-<p>This was all her thanks to me. The husband took the matter in a
-different way. They had a fire lighted and coffee taken to them in the
-drawing-room (which was left in the saddest confusion after all the
-disturbance of the night); and it was when the carriage he had ordered
-was at the door, and she had gone to make herself ready, that he came to
-me. I was in the dining-room with my breakfast on the table, which I was
-too much worn out to take. His face was very strange; it was full of
-suppressed excitement, with a wild, strained look about the eyes, and a
-certain air of heat and haste, though his colour was like ivory as
-usual. ‘I have to thank you,’ he said to me, very stiffly, ‘and if I
-said anything amiss in my surprise last night, I hope you will forgive
-it. I can only thank you now; nothing else is possible. But I must add,
-I hope we shall never meet again.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I assure you, if we do, it shall not be with my will,’ said I, feeling
-very angry as I think I had a right to be.</p>
-
-<p>He bowed, but made no reply; not because words failed him. I felt that
-he would have liked nothing better than to have fallen upon me and
-metaphorically torn me to pieces. He had been overcome by his own heart
-or passions, and had taken her back, but he hated me for having drawn
-him to do so. He saw the tragic folly of the step he was taking. There
-was a gloom in his excitement such as I cannot describe. He had no
-strength to resist her, but she was hateful to him even while he adored
-her. And doubly hateful, without any counter-balancing attraction, was
-I, who had as it were betrayed him to his fate.</p>
-
-<p>‘I trust your wife and you will be happy&mdash;now,’ I said, trying to speak
-firmly. He interrupted me with a hoarse laugh.</p>
-
-<p>‘My wife!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is she not your wife?’ I said in alarm.</p>
-
-<p>He laughed again, even more hoarsely, with a sharp tone in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a>{144}</span> the sound.
-‘What do you call a woman who is taken back after&mdash;everything? Who is
-taken back because&mdash;&mdash; What is she, do you suppose? What is he, the
-everlasting dupe and fool! Don’t speak to me any more.’ He hurried away
-from me, and then turned round again at the door. ‘I spoke a little
-wildly perhaps,’ he said, with a smile, which was more disagreeable than
-his rage, ‘without due thought for Mrs. Reinhardt’s reputation. Make
-yourself quite easy&mdash;she is my wife.’</p>
-
-<p>That was the last I saw of them. I was too much offended to go to the
-door to see them leave the house, but it is impossible to describe the
-relief with which I listened to the wheels ringing along the road as
-they went away. Was it really true?&mdash;was this nightmare removed from me,
-and my house my own again? I did not know whether to laugh or to cry. I
-fell down on my knees and made some sort of confused thanksgiving. It
-seemed to me as if I had been in this horrible bondage half my life.</p>
-
-<p>Mary came in about half-an-hour after to take away the breakfast things.
-I had swallowed a cup of tea, but I had not been able to eat. Mary was
-still disapproving, but quieter than at first; she shook her head over
-the untouched food. ‘We’ll be having you ill next, ma’am,’ she said,
-with an evident feeling that cook and she would in that case have good
-reason to complain; and then, after a pause, she added severely, ‘I
-don’t know if you knew, ma’am, as the lady is gone off in your best
-shawl?’</p>
-
-<p>‘My shawl!’ I had thought no more of it: but this sudden news took away
-my breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘She was always fond of it,’ said Mary grimly. ‘She liked the best of
-everything did that lady; and she couldn’t make up her mind to take it
-off when she went away.’</p>
-
-<p>Though I was so confounded and confused, I made an effort to keep up
-appearances still. ‘She will send it back, of course, as soon as she
-gets&mdash;home,’ I said; ‘as soon as she gets&mdash;her own things.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am sure I hope so, ma’am,’ said Mary, carrying off her tray. Her tone
-was not one to inspire hope in the listener, and I confess that for the
-rest of the morning my shawl held a very large place in my thoughts. It
-was the most valuable piece of personal property I possessed. When I
-used to take it out and wrap it round me, it was always with a certain
-pride. It was the kind of wrap which dignifies any dress. ‘With that
-handsome shawl, it does not matter what else you wear,’ Mrs. Stoke was
-in the habit of saying to me; and though Mrs. Stoke was not a great
-authority in most matters, she knew what she was saying on this point. I
-said to myself, ‘Of course she will send it back,’ but I had a very
-chill sensation of doubt about my heart.</p>
-
-<p>All the morning I sat still over the fire, with a longing to go and talk
-to some one. For more than a week now, I had not exchanged a word with
-my neighbours, and this was terrible to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a>{145}</span> a person like me, living
-surrounded by so many whose lives had come to be a part of mine. But I
-had not the courage to take the initiative. I cannot tell how I longed
-for some one to come, for the ice to be broken. And it was only natural
-that people should be surprised and offended, and even have learned to
-distrust me. For who could they suppose I was hiding away like
-that&mdash;some mysterious sinner belonging to myself&mdash;some one I had a
-special interest in? And then she had been recognized by Everard Stoke!</p>
-
-<p>At about twelve o’clock my quietness was disturbed by the sound of some
-one coming; my heart began to beat and my face to flush, but it was only
-old White with his fellow-servant, Mississarah, as he called her,
-pronouncing the two words as if they were one. Their visit put me in
-possession of the whole miserable story. It was like a tale of
-enchantment all through. The man had been a mature man of forty or more,
-buried in science and learning, when he first saw the beautiful creature
-who since seemed to have been the curse of his life. She was an
-innkeeper’s daughter, untaught and unrefined. He had tried to educate
-her, married her, done everything that a man mad with love could do to
-make her a lady&mdash;nay, to make her a decorous woman&mdash;but he had failed
-and over again failed. They did not tell me, and I did not wish to hear,
-what special sins she had done against him. I suppose she had done
-everything that a wicked wife could do. She had been put into honourable
-retirement with the hope of recovery again and again. Then she had been
-sent away in anger. But every time the unfortunate husband had fallen
-under her personal influence&mdash;the influence of her beauty&mdash;she had been
-taken back.</p>
-
-<p>‘She hates him,’ poor White said, almost crying, ‘but he can’t resist
-her. He’s mad, ma’am, mad, that’s what it is. He could kill hisself for
-giving in, but he can’t help hisself. We’ve had to watch him night and
-day as he shouldn’t hear her nor see her, for when her money’s done she
-always comes back to him. He’ll kill her some day or kill hisself.
-Mississarah knows as I’m speaking true.’</p>
-
-<p>‘As true as the Bible,’ said Mississarah; but she was softer than he
-towards the wife. ‘He was too wise and too good for her, ma’am,’ she
-said, ‘a fool and a wise man can’t walk together&mdash;it’s hard on the wise
-man, but maybe it’s a bit hard too on the fool. Folks don’t make
-themselves. She mightn’t have been so bad&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, go along; go along, Mississarah, do,’ said White. ‘We’ll have to go
-off from here where all was quiet and nice, and start again without
-knowing no more than Adam. But he’ll kill her, some day, you’ll see, or
-he’ll kill hisself.’</p>
-
-<p>Mississarah was a north-country woman, and had a little feeling that her
-master was a foreigner, and therefore necessarily more or less guilty;
-but White was half a foreigner himself and totally devoted to his
-master. When they had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a>{146}</span> poured forth their sorrows to me, they went away
-disconsolate, and their fears about leaving East Cottage were so soon
-justified that I never saw them more.</p>
-
-<p>And then came my melancholy luncheon, which was set on the table for me,
-and which I loathed the sight of. To escape from it I went into the
-drawing-room, from which all traces of last night’s confusion were gone.
-I was so miserable, and lonely, and weary that I think I dropped asleep
-over the fire. I had been up almost all night, and there seemed nothing
-so comfortable in all the world as forgetting one’s very existence and
-being able to get to sleep.</p>
-
-<p>I woke with the murmur of voices in my ears. Lady Denzil was sitting by
-me holding my hand. She gave me a kiss, and whispered to me in her soft
-voice,&mdash;‘We know all about it&mdash;we know all about it, my dear,’ patting
-me softly with her kind hand. I’m afraid I broke down and cried like a
-child. I am growing old myself, to be sure, but Lady Denzil, thank
-Heaven, might have been even my mother&mdash;and if you consider all the
-agitation, all the disturbance I had come through!</p>
-
-<p>I think everybody on the Green called that day, and each visitor was
-more kind than the other. ‘I shall always consider it a special
-providence, however, that none of us called or were introduced to her,’
-Mrs. General Perronet said solemnly. But she was the only one who made
-any allusion to the terrible guest I had been hiding in my house. They
-took me out to get the air&mdash;they made me walk to the Dell to see the
-autumn colour on the trees. They carried me off to dine at the Lodge,
-and brought me home with a body-guard. ‘You are not fit to be trusted to
-walk home by yourself,’ Lottie Stoke said, giving me her arm. In short,
-the Green received me back with acclamations, as if I had been a
-returned Prodigal, and I found that I could laugh over the new and most
-unexpected <i>rôle</i>, which I thus found myself filling, as soon as the
-next day.</p>
-
-<p>Some time after, I received my shawl in a rough parcel, sent by railway.
-It was torn in two or three places by the pins it had been fastened
-with, and had several small stains upon it. It was sent without a word,
-without any apologies, with Mrs. Reinhardt’s compliments written outside
-the brown paper cover, in a coarse hand. And that was the only direct
-communication I ever had with my strange guest. Before Christmas however
-there was a paragraph in some of the papers that L. Reinhardt, Esq., had
-volunteered to accompany an expedition going to Africa in order to make
-some scientific observations. There was a great crowded, enthusiastic
-meeting of the Geographical Society, in which his wonderful devotion was
-dwelt on and the sacrifice he was making to the interests of science.
-And he was even mentioned in the House of Commons, where some great
-personage took it upon him to say that in the arrangement of the
-expedition the greatest assistance had been received from Mr. Reinhardt,
-who, himself a man of wealth and leisure, had generously devoted his
-energies<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a>{147}</span> to it, and smoothed away a great many of the difficulties in
-the way&mdash;a good work for which science and his country would alike be
-grateful to him, said the orator. Oh, me! oh, me! I looked up in Lady
-Denzil’s face as Sir Thomas read out these words to us. Sir Thomas took
-it quite calmly, and was rather pleased indeed that Mr. Reinhardt, by
-getting himself publicly thanked in the House of Commons, had justified
-the impulse which prompted himself, Sir Thomas Denzil, head as it were
-of society on the Green, to call upon him. But my lady laid her soft old
-hand on mine, and her eyes filled with tears. ‘Do not let us blame him,
-my dear,&mdash;do not let us blame him,’ she said to me when we were alone.
-She had known what temptation was.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>{148}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="LADY_ISABELLA" id="LADY_ISABELLA"></a>LADY ISABELLA</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> was one house in our neighbourhood which was perfect and above
-criticism. I do not mean to say that it was a great house; but the very
-sight of it was enough to make you feel almost bitter if you were poor,
-and much pleased and approving if you were well-off. Naturally it was
-the very next house to Mrs. Merridew’s, who had heaps of children and a
-small income, and could not have things so very nice as might have been
-wished. Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella lived within sight of her, with
-but two holly-hedges between; the hedge on the side of the Merridews’
-house was bristly and untidy, but on the other side it was trimmed and
-clipped till it looked like a barrier-wall of dark green Utrecht velvet;
-and inside that inclosure everything was in perfection; the lawn was
-mown every other day; there was never an obtrusive daisy on it, and no
-fallen leaf presumed to lie for half an hour. The flower-beds which
-surrounded it were more brilliant than any I ever saw&mdash;not mere vulgar
-geraniums and calceolarias, but a continual variety, and always such
-masses of colour. Inside everything was just as perfect. They had such
-good servants, always the best trained of their class; such soft
-carpets, upon which no step ever sounded harsh; and Mrs. Spencer’s ferns
-were the wonder of the neighbourhood; and the flowers in the two
-drawing-rooms were always just at the point of perfection, with never a
-yellow leaf or a faded blossom. We poorer people sometimes tried to
-console ourselves by telling each other that such luxury was monotonous.
-‘Nothing ever grows and nothing ever fades,’ said Lottie Stoke, ‘but
-always one eternal beautifulness; I should not like it if it were I. I
-should like to watch them budding, and pick off the first faded leaves.’
-This Lottie said with confidence, though she was notoriously indifferent
-to such cares, and declared, on other occasions, that she could not be
-troubled with flowers, they required so much looking after; but poor
-little Janet Merridew used to shake her head and groan with an innocent
-envy that would bring the tears to her eyes; not that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>{149}</span> she wished to
-take anything from her neighbours, but she loved beautiful things so
-much, and they were so far out of her reach.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella lived together in this beautiful house;
-they were two friends so intimately allied, that I was in the habit of
-saying they were more like man and wife than anything else. It was a
-wonder to us all at Dinglefield how they managed their money matters in
-respect to housekeeping. Many a little attempt I have seen to find this
-out, and heard many a speculation; whether the house was Mrs. Spencer’s,
-whether Lady Isabella only paid for her board, which of them was at the
-expense of the carriage, or whether they kept a rigid account of all
-their expenditure and divided it at the end of the year, as some
-thought&mdash;nobody could make out. When they first came to Dinglefield it
-was universally prophesied that it would not last. ‘Depend upon it,
-these arrangements never answer,’ was the opinion of old Mr. Lloyd, who
-was Mrs. Damerel’s father, and lived with them at the rectory. ‘They
-will quarrel in three months,’ the Admiral said, who was not very
-favourable to ladies. But when seven years had come and gone, Mrs.
-Spencer and Lady Isabella still lived together and had not quarrelled.
-By this time Lady Isabella, who was really quite young when they came,
-must have been nearly five-and-thirty, and people had made up their
-minds she would not marry now, so that the likelihood was, as it had
-lasted so long, it would last all their lives. They did not, at the
-first glance, look like people likely to suit each other. Mrs. Spencer
-was a woman overflowing with activity; she was thin, she could not have
-been anything else, so energetic was she, always in motion, setting
-everybody right. She was shortsighted, or said she was shortsighted, so
-far as the outer world was concerned, but in her own house, and in all
-that involved her own affairs, she had the eye of a lynx; nothing
-escaped her. It was she who kept everything in such beautiful order, and
-made the lawns and the flowers the wonder of the neighbourhood. Lady
-Isabella’s part was the passive one; she enjoyed it. She did not worry
-her friend by pretending to take any trouble. She was full ten years
-younger than Mrs. Spencer, inclining to be stout, pretty, but undeniably
-inactive. I am afraid she was a little indolent, or, perhaps, in such
-close and constant contact with her friend’s more active nature, Lady
-Isabella had found it expedient to seem more indolent than she was. She
-left all the burdens of life on Mrs. Spencer’s shoulders. Except the one
-habitual walk in the day, which it was said Mrs. Spencer compelled her
-to take, lest she should grow fat, we at Dinglefield only saw Lady
-Isabella in her favourite easy-chair in the drawing-room, or her
-favourite garden-bench on the lawn. Indolent&mdash;but not so perfectly
-good-tempered as indolent people usually are, and fond of saying sharp
-things without perhaps always considering the feelings of others. Indeed
-she seemed to live on such a pinnacle of ease<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a>{150}</span> and wealth and comfort,
-that she must have found it difficult to enter into the feelings of such
-as were harassed, or careworn, or poor. She had a way of begging
-everybody not to make a fuss when anything happened; and I am afraid
-most of us thought that a selfish regard for her own comfort lay at the
-bottom of this love of tranquillity. I don’t think now that we were
-quite right in our opinion of her. She had to go through a great deal of
-fuss whether she liked it or not; and I remember now that when she
-uttered her favourite sentiment she used to give a glance, half-comic,
-half-pathetic, to where Mrs. Spencer was. But she bore with Mrs.
-Spencer’s ‘ways’ as a wife bears with her husband. Mrs. Spencer had all
-the worry and trouble, such as it was. Plenty of money is a great
-sweetener of such cares; but still, to be sure, it was easy for Lady
-Isabella to sit and laugh and adjure everybody not to make a fuss, when
-she herself had no trouble about anything, never had even to scold a
-servant, or turn an unsatisfactory retainer away.</p>
-
-<p>We were never very intimate, they and I; but it happened, one autumn
-evening, that I went in to call rather out of the regular order of calls
-which we exchanged punctiliously. When I say we were not intimate, I
-only mean that there was no personal and individual attraction between
-us. Of course we knew each other very well, and met twice or thrice
-every week, as people do at Dinglefield. I had been calling upon Mrs.
-Merridew, and I cannot tell what fascination one found&mdash;coming out of
-that full house, which was as tidy as she could make it, but not, alas!
-as tidy as it might have been&mdash;in the next house, which was so wonderful
-a contrast, where the regions of mere tidiness were overpast, and good
-order had grown into beauty and grace. I suppose it was the contrast. I
-found myself going in at the other gate almost before I knew it; and
-there I found Lady Isabella alone, seated in the twilight, for it was
-growing dark, in her favourite corner, not very far from the fire. She
-was not doing anything; and as I went in, I fancied, to my great
-surprise, that something like the ghost of a sigh came to greet me just
-half a moment in advance of Lady Isabella’s laugh. She had a way of
-laughing, which was not disagreeable when one came to know her, though
-at first people were apt to think that she was laughing at them.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Spen is out,’ she said, ‘and I am quite fatigued, for I have been
-standing at my window watching the Merridew babies in their garden. They
-look like nice little fat puppies among the grass; but it must be damp
-for them at this time of the year.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor little things! there are so many of them that they get hardy; they
-are not used to being looked after very much. Some people’s children
-would be killed by it,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘How lucky for the little Merridews that they are not those people’s
-children!’ said Lady Isabella; ‘and I think they must like it, for it is
-a great bore being looked after too much.’ As<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a>{151}</span> she spoke she leant back
-in her chair with something that sounded like another sigh. ‘I was
-rather fond of babies once,’ she added, with a laugh which quickly
-followed the sigh. ‘Absurd, was it not? but don’t say a word, or Mrs.
-Spen will turn me out.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It would take more than that to part you two,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, I suppose it would. I think sometimes it would take a great deal.
-Mrs. Mulgrave, do you know I have been turning it over in my mind
-whether I could ask you to do something for me or not? and I think I
-have decided that I will&mdash;that is not to say that you are to do it, you
-know, unless you please.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I think most likely I shall please&mdash;unless it is something very unlike
-you,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, it is unlike me,’ said Lady Isabella; and though I could not make
-out her face in the least, I felt sure, by the sound of her voice, and a
-certain movement she made, and an odd little laugh that accompanied her
-words, that she was blushing violently in the dark. ‘At least, it is
-very unlike anything you know of me. You might not think it, perhaps,’
-she went on, with again that little constrained laugh, ‘but do you know
-I was young once?’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear, I think you are young still,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh dear, no; that is quite out of the question. When a woman is over
-thirty, she ought to give up all such ideas,’ said Lady Isabella, with
-an amount of explanatoriness which I did not understand; and she began
-to fold hems in her handkerchief in a nervous way. ‘When a woman is
-thirty, she may just as well be fifty at once for any difference it
-makes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think even fifty is anything so very dreadful,’ said I. ‘One’s
-ideas change as one gets older; but twenty years make a wonderful
-difference, whatever you may think.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps, for some things,’ she said hastily. ‘And you must know, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, in that fabulous time when I was young other marvels existed.
-They always do in the fabulous period in all histories; and there was
-once somebody who was&mdash;or at least he said he was&mdash;in love with me.
-There, the murder is out,’ she said, pushing her chair a little further
-back into the dark corner; and, to my amazement, her voice was full of
-agitation, as if she had been telling me the secret of her life.</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear Lady Isabella,’ I said, ‘do you really expect me to be
-surprised at that?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, no, perhaps not,’ she said, with another laugh. ‘Not at the
-simple fact. They say every woman has such a thing happen to her some
-time in her life. Do you think that is true?’</p>
-
-<p>‘The people in the newspapers say it can’t be true,’ said I,
-‘now-a-days: though I don’t think I ever knew a woman who had not&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Spen will be back directly,’ cried Lady Isabella, hastily, ‘and I
-don’t want her to know. I need not tell you that it all came to nothing,
-for you can see that; but, Mrs. Mulgrave, now<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a>{152}</span> comes the funny part of
-it. His regiment is coming to the barracks, and he will be within five
-miles of us. Is it not odd?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think it is at all odd,’ said I. ‘I dare say it is just in the
-natural order. If it will be painful to you to meet him, Lady
-Isabella&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is the funniest of all,’ she said. ‘It will not be in the least
-painful to me to meet him. On the contrary, I want to meet him. It is
-very droll, but I do. I should so like to see what he looks like now,
-and if his temper is improved, and a hundred things. Besides, his sister
-used to be a great friend of mine; and when we broke it off I lost
-Augusta too. I want so much to know about her. Indeed, that is my chief
-reason,’ she went on faltering, ‘for wishing to meet him.’ The words
-were scarcely spoken when she burst into a little peal of laughter.
-‘What a stupid I am,’ she cried, ‘trying to take you in. No, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, let me be honest; it is not for Augusta I want to see him. I
-should so like just to make sure&mdash;you know&mdash;if I was a very great fool,
-or if he was worth thinking of after all. Now,’ with a little sigh,
-‘when one is perfectly dispassionate&mdash;and cool&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘To be sure,’ said I, glad that it was dark, and she could not see me
-smile; ‘and now that we have settled all that, tell me what I am to do.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are so very kind,’ she said; and then went off again in that
-agitated laugh. ‘I am betraying myself frightfully; but I am sure you
-will understand me, Mrs. Mulgrave, and not think anything absurd. You
-are sure to get acquainted with him, you know; and if you would ask him
-to the cottage&mdash;and ask us to meet him&mdash;&mdash; Good heavens! what a fool you
-must think me,’ she cried: ‘but I should like it, I confess.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, my dear, I never give dinners,’ I said; ‘and to ask a man, a
-strange man, to tea&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘He would be sure to come&mdash;to you,’ she said very quickly, as if her
-breath had failed her.</p>
-
-<p>‘But, my dear, you are just as likely as I am&mdash;more likely&mdash;to meet him
-at other houses. It would be impossible otherwise. Not that I should
-mind asking him&mdash;though it is so odd to ask a man to tea.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Hush!’ she said, suddenly leaning forward and grasping my arm. ‘Mrs.
-Spen has told Lady Denzil&mdash;she meant it for kindness&mdash;so we shall not be
-asked to meet him. And I do wish it, just for once. Hush, here she is
-coming. I don’t want her to know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then, my dear, I will do it,’ said I, grasping her hand. It trembled
-and was hot, and she grasped mine again in an agitated, impetuous way.
-Could this be Lady Isabella, who was always so calm and self-possessed?
-I was rather afraid of her in general, for she had the name of being
-satirical; and this was entirely a new light on her character. But just
-then Mrs. Spencer came<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a>{153}</span> in, and scolded us for sitting in the dark, and
-rang for lights; and then no more could be said.</p>
-
-<p>It was curious to look at the two when the lamp came. Mrs. Spencer
-seated herself on her side of the fire, like the husband coming in from
-his day’s work. She was a clever woman, but she was matter-of-fact, and
-notwithstanding the long years they had lived together, was never quite
-sure what was the meaning of her friend’s jibes and jests. It was this
-as much as anything that gave a sort of conjugal character to their
-relationship. Friends who were merely friends, and were so different,
-would, one was inclined to suppose, have got rid of each other years
-ago. But these two clung together in spite of all their differences, as
-if there were some bond between them which they had to make the best of.
-Mrs. Spencer began talking the moment she came in.</p>
-
-<p>‘I met Mrs. Damerel on the Green and she was asking for you, Isabella;
-in short, she was quite surprised to see me out alone. “I thought Lady
-Isabella always walked once a day at least,” she said. “And so she
-pretends to do,” said I. And I told her what I said to you before I went
-out about your health. Depend upon it your health will suffer. A young
-woman at your age getting into these chimney-corner ways! Mrs. Mulgrave,
-don’t you agree with me that it is very wrong?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t scold me, please,’ said Lady Isabella, out of her corner; ‘if you
-both fall upon me, I am rather nervous to-night, and I know I shall
-cry.’</p>
-
-<p>At this Mrs. Spencer laughed; just as a husband would have done, taking
-it for the merest nonsense; yet somehow propitiated, for there was an
-inference of superior wisdom, importance, goodness on his&mdash;I mean
-her&mdash;part, such as mollifies the marital mind. No one could have been
-more utterly bewildered than she, had she known that what her friend
-said was literally true. Lady Isabella had drawn a little screen between
-her and the fire, which sheltered her also from the modest light of the
-lamp; and I felt by the sound of her voice, that though, no doubt, she
-could restrain herself, it would have been a relief to her to have shed
-the tears which made her eyes hot and painful. She would have laughed,
-probably, while she was shedding them, but that makes no difference.</p>
-
-<p>‘You don’t do enough, and Lady Denzil does too much,’ said Mrs. Spencer.
-‘She surprises <i>me</i>, and I think I am as active as most people. I can’t
-tell why she does it, I am sure. She is an old woman; it can’t be any
-pleasure to her. There is a dinner-party there to-night, and another on
-Saturday; and on Monday the dance for those young Fieldings that are
-staying there&mdash;enough to kill a stronger woman. But these little,
-fragile beings get through so much. She keeps up through it all and
-never looks a pin the worse.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you going there to-night?’ said I. I had scarcely said it when I
-saw a little flutter behind the screen, and felt it was a foolish
-question. But it was too late.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a>{154}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Mrs. Spencer, pointedly; and she looked straight at Lady
-Isabella’s screen with a distinctness of intimation that this abstinence
-was on her account, which would have puzzled me much but for the
-previous explanation I had had. Words would have been much less
-emphatic. She nodded her head a great many times, and she gave me a look
-which promised further information. She was fond of her companion, and I
-am sure would have sheltered her from pain at almost any cost to
-herself; but yet she enjoyed the mystery, and the story which lay below.
-‘All the officers from the barracks will be there,’ she added, after a
-pause. ‘There is a Captain Fielding, an empty-headed&mdash;but they are all
-empty-headed. I don’t care much about soldiers in an ordinary way, and I
-dislike guardsmen. So does Isabella.’</p>
-
-<p>And then there followed one of those embarrassing pauses which come
-against one’s will when there is any secret undercurrent which everybody
-knows and nobody mentions. Lady Isabella sat perfectly silent, and I,
-who ought to have come to the rescue,&mdash;I, after running wildly in my
-mind over every topic of conversation possible,&mdash;at last rose to take my
-leave, not finding anything to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you going, Mrs. Mulgrave?’ said Lady Isabella. ‘I will go to the
-door with you. I must show you the new flowers in the hall.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Good gracious, something must be going to happen,’ said Mrs. Spencer,
-‘when Isabella volunteers to show you flowers. Don’t catch cold in the
-draught; but it is too dark: you can’t possibly see any colour in them
-now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Never mind,’ said Lady Isabella in an undertone; and she hurried out
-leading the way,&mdash;a thing I had never seen her do before. She made no
-pretence about the flowers when we got out to the hall. It was quite
-dark, and of course I could see nothing. She grasped my hand in a
-nervous, agitated way. She was trembling,&mdash;she, who was always so steady
-and calm. It was partly from cold, to be sure, but then the cold was
-caused by emotion. ‘His name is Colonel Brentford,’ she whispered in my
-ear; and then ran up-stairs suddenly, leaving me to open the door for
-myself. I have received a great many confidences in my life, but seldom
-any so strange as this. I did not know whether to laugh or to be sorry,
-as I walked home thinking over it. Lady Isabella was the last person in
-the world to be involved in any romance; and yet this was romantic
-enough. And it was so difficult to make out how I could perform my part
-in it. Ask a guardsman, a strange colonel, a <i>man</i>, to tea! I could not
-but reflect how foolish I was, always undertaking things that were so
-difficult to perform. But I was pledged to do it, and I could not go
-back.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a>{155}</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I was</span> to dine at Sir Thomas Denzil’s that same evening, and so no doubt
-would Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella have done, but for that obstacle
-which the elder lady had set up and in which the younger seemed
-determined to foil her. I dressed to go out, with my heart beating a
-little quicker than usual. For myself, as may be supposed, the officers
-from the barracks were not very much to me; but the undertaking with
-which I suddenly found myself burdened was very serious, and made me
-nervous in spite of myself; and then the man’s very name was strange to
-me. I thought over all my acquaintances, and everybody I had ever known;
-but I could not remember any one of the name of Brentford. There were
-the Brentwoods of Northam, and the Bentleys, and a great many names came
-up to my mind which sounded like it at the first glance; but I could not
-recollect a single Brentford among all my acquaintance. ‘I wonder who
-his mother was?’ I said to myself; for, to be sure, there might be a
-means of getting at him in that way; but it was impossible to find out
-at so short a notice. I almost felt as if I were a designing woman when
-I went into Lady Denzil’s drawing-room&mdash;and so I was, though I did not
-want to marry any of those unconscious warriors either personally or by
-proxy. Little did Lady Denzil suspect, as I went up to her&mdash;trying to
-look as innocent as possible&mdash;and little did the men of war think, of my
-evil projects, as they looked blandly at me, and set me down as that
-harmless and uninteresting being&mdash;an old lady. The one who took me in to
-dinner was an elderly, sober-looking, quiet gentleman. He was a Major
-Somebody, and I don’t think he was so fine as the others. I drew breath
-when I had seated myself under his wing. It was a comfort to me to have
-escaped the young ones, who never forgive you, when they have to take
-you in to dinner, for not being young and pretty. This was a man who had
-no pretensions above me&mdash;a man, probably, with a wife of his own and a
-large family, whom one could speak to freely and ask questions of. But
-before I would go so far, I made what private inspection I could. It was
-quite evident to me where the gap was which Mrs. Spencer and Lady
-Isabella ought to have filled. It had been hastily filled up by Lottie
-and Lucy Stoke, who were very much more to the taste of the guardsmen, I
-don’t doubt, than if they had been their own grandmothers, ladies of
-county influence and majesty. Lucy, whose blue eyes were dancing in her
-head with mingled fright and delight to find herself in such a grand
-party, sat by a handsome dark man, to whom my eyes returned a great many
-times. He looked the kind of man whom a woman might be faithful to for
-years. Could it be <i>him?</i> He was amused with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a>{156}</span> Lucy’s excitement and her
-fright; perhaps he was flattered by it as men so often are. After a
-little while, I could see he took great pains to make himself agreeable;
-and I felt quite angry and jealous, though I am sure I could not have
-told why.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps you recognize him?’ my companion said to me, as he caught me
-watching this pair across the table. ‘He is one of the Elliots. His
-father had a place once in this neighbourhood. I am sure you must
-recollect his face.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, indeed,’ said I, denying by instinct. ‘That gentleman opposite&mdash;is
-his name Elliot? I was looking at the young lady by him. She is a little
-friend of mine, and I am petrified to find her here. I did not think she
-was out.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is why she likes it so well, I suppose,’ said the Major with a
-little sigh.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am afraid you don’t enjoy it much,’ said I. ‘Pray forgive me for
-being so very stupid. I should like to know which of these gentlemen is
-Colonel Brentford. I have heard his name&mdash;I should like to know which is
-he.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He is sitting beside Lady Denzil,’ said my companion shortly; and he
-said no more. His brevity startled me. I think Colonel Brentford from
-that moment began to lose in my opinion. I grew more and more frightened
-by the thought of what I had undertaken to do. I began to think it was a
-great pity Lady Isabella, a sensible woman, should waste a thought upon
-this soldier&mdash;and all for no reason in the world but that my Major
-announced curtly, ‘He is sitting beside Lady Denzil,’ without adding a
-word to say, ‘I like him,’ or ‘He is a very nice fellow,’ or anything
-agreeable. I concluded he must be a bear or a brute, or something
-utterly frivolous and uninteresting. It never occurred to me that it
-might be my Major and not the unknown Colonel who was to blame. And I
-had pledged myself to ask such a man as this to tea!</p>
-
-<p>We had gone back to the drawing-room before I got what I could call a
-good look at him; and then I was even more disappointed to find that he
-was as far from looking a brute or a bear as he was from looking a hero.
-There was nothing remarkable about him; he was neither handsome nor
-ugly; he was neither young nor old. He stood and talked a long time to
-Lady Denzil, and his voice was pleasant, but the talk was about
-nothing&mdash;it was neither stupid nor clever. He was a man of negatives it
-seemed. I was dreadfully disappointed for Lady Isabella’s sake. I could
-not help figuring to myself what her feelings would be. No doubt he had
-been young when they had known each other, and youth has often a
-deceiving glitter about it, which never comes to anything. Chance threw
-my Major in my way again at that advanced period of the evening. He said
-to me, ‘We have a long drive and the night is chilly, and I wish I could
-get my young fellows into motion. These proceedings don’t always agree
-with the taste of a man at my time<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a>{157}</span> of life; and my wife is always
-fidgety when I am out late&mdash;it is her way.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Bellinger is not here to-night?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, we are quite new to the place, and Lady Denzil has not had time to
-call yet: my wife, I am sure, would be delighted if you would go and see
-her. She is rather delicate, and far from her friends. Colonel Brentford
-is the only one&mdash;&mdash;’ And here he stopped short with an abruptness that
-made me hate Colonel Brentford and repent my temerity more and more.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am so sorry you don’t seem to have a favourable opinion of him,’ I
-said; ‘not that I know him, but I have heard some friends of mine&mdash;&mdash;
-Oh, I am sure you did not mean to say a word against him&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Against him!’ said the Major, stammering; ‘why, he is my best friend!
-He is the kindest fellow I know! He goes and sits with my wife when
-nobody else thinks of her. I don’t want to find fault with any one; but
-Brentford&mdash;he is the man I am most grateful to in all the world!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I beg your pardon!’ I cried. Good heavens! what a very bad manner
-the man must have had to give one such a false idea. ‘I shall do myself
-the pleasure of calling on Mrs. Bellinger early next week,’ I said;
-after all, it did not seem so insane to ask a man who was in the habit
-of going to sit with an invalid lady. And then a kind of inspiration
-stole into my mind. Afternoon tea! that was the thing; not an evening
-party, with all its horrors&mdash;which every man hates.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know what Lady Denzil could think of me that evening; but I
-stayed until everybody had gone, with a determination to hear something
-more about him. I think she was surprised; but then she is one of those
-women who understand you, even when they don’t in the least know what
-you mean. That seems foolish, but it is quite true. She saw I had a
-motive, and she forgave me, though she was tired, and Sir Thomas looked
-surprised.</p>
-
-<p>‘The fly has never come back for me,’ I said. ‘I must ask you to let
-George walk across the Green with me. I have got my big shawl, and I
-don’t mind the cold.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Wait a little now they have all gone, and let us have a talk,’ said
-Lady Denzil. What a blessing it is to have to do with a woman who
-understands!</p>
-
-<p>‘Our new friends are very much like all the others, I think,’ said I.
-‘Captain Fielding seems nice. Is he brother or cousin to those pretty
-girls?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Brother, or I should not have him here,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘I have no
-confidence in cousins. Colonel Brentford looks sensible. I should not
-have thought him likely to do anything so foolish as that business you
-know. I suppose Mrs. Spencer must have told you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ I said, with a little thrill running through me; for, of course,
-it was something about Lady Isabella that was meant&mdash;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a>{158}</span>and I was actually
-an agent employed in the matter, and knew, and yet did not know.</p>
-
-<p>‘Lady Isabella and he were once engaged to be married,’ said Lady
-Denzil, speaking low. ‘Don’t mention this, unless Mrs. Spencer tells
-you; but she is sure to tell you. And they quarrelled about some silly
-trifle. Mrs. Spencer says he flew into a passion, and that Lady Isabella
-had to give him up on account of his temper. He does not look like it,
-does he? Mrs. Spencer is most anxious that they should not meet.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you think it is right to prevent people meeting, if they wish it?’
-said I; ‘perhaps Lady Isabella might think differently.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is best never to interfere,’ said Lady Denzil; ‘that is my
-principle&mdash;unless I am sure I can be of real use. Are you going now? You
-must wrap up well, for the night is rather cold.’</p>
-
-<p>‘So my Major thought,’ I said to myself, as I went across the Green; and
-I could not but smile at the thought of the poor gentleman buttoning up
-his great-coat as he drove with all those wild young fellows on their
-drag. Very likely he felt they might upset him at any moment driving
-through the dark&mdash;and it was a very dark night. My sympathies were much
-attracted by this good man. He had to give in to them a great deal, and
-put up with their foolish ways. I could not help wondering whether he
-had ever had such a commission given to him as mine; and then I
-reflected that Lady Isabella was not even young to be humoured and have
-her fancies given in to. The Colonel looked a sensible, commonplace sort
-of man, with whom nobody had any right to quarrel. And perhaps Mrs.
-Spencer was right in doing her utmost to keep them apart. Perhaps Mrs.
-Spencer was right; but then, on the other hand, Lady Isabella was old
-enough to know her own mind and decide for herself. Such were the
-various thoughts that passed through my mind as I took that little walk
-through the dark with George behind me. It was a perplexing business
-altogether. But that I should be mixed up in it! I could not but take
-myself to task, and ask myself what call had I to be thus mixed up with
-every sort of foolish business&mdash;a woman of my age?</p>
-
-<p>I saw Lady Isabella two days after. She came running in quite early,
-before luncheon, to my extreme surprise, and gave me a wistful look of
-inquiry which went to my very heart. She could not say anything however,
-for the Fielding girls were with me, talking of nothing but the dance
-which Lady Denzil was going to give for them. They assailed Lady
-Isabella directly, the moment she entered.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, why are not you coming on Monday? Oh, Lady Isabella, do change your
-mind and come. It will be such a pretty dance. And all the officers are
-coming, so that there will be no want of partners. Lady Denzil says she
-always asks more men than ladies. Oh, Lady Isabella, do come!’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is very wise of Lady Denzil,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘but I wonder
-how the extra men like it. No; I don’t think I shall<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a>{159}</span> go. I shall see
-all the officers, perhaps, another time.’ And with that she gave me
-another look which made me tremble, holding me to my word.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps you don’t dance,’ said Emma Fielding. ‘Oh, it is such a pity
-you won’t come.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My husband won’t let me,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘and, by the by, she will
-be waiting for me now. I had something to ask, but never mind, another
-time will do.’</p>
-
-<p>She asked the question all the same with her eyes. She looked at me
-almost sternly, inquiring, as plainly as words, ‘Have you done it? Is my
-commission fulfilled?’ which I could only answer by a deprecating,
-humble look, begging her as it were to have patience with me. She shook
-her head slightly as she shook hands with me, and smiled, and then she
-sighed. That was the worst of all. I read a reproach in the sound of
-that sigh.</p>
-
-<p>‘What does she mean by her husband?’ said Edith Fielding. ‘Is she
-married, and does she call her husband “she”? Isn’t she very queer? That
-sort of person always bewilders me.’</p>
-
-<p>I could not help saying, ‘I dare say she does,’ with a certain
-irritation. As if it were within the bounds of possibility that
-creatures like these should understand Lady Isabella. And yet, alas! if
-she were entering into the lists with them, how could she ever stand
-against them? She, five-and-thirty, and a little stout; they, eighteen
-and nineteen. Is there a man in the world that would not turn to the
-young ones, and leave the mature woman? That was the question I asked
-myself. I don’t think I am cynical; I have not a bad opinion of my
-fellow-creatures in general; but still there are some matters which one
-knows beforehand. The first thing to be done however was to make
-acquaintance with Colonel Brentford as soon as possible. I had promised
-to go to the dance, to take Lottie and Lucy Stoke; but then he would be
-dancing; he would not want to stand in a corner and talk to an old woman
-like me. Lady Isabella, at five-and-thirty, had given up dancing; but
-this man, though he was nearly five years older, of course did not think
-of giving it up. Most likely he felt himself on the level of the
-Fieldings and Stokes and the other girls, not on that of his old love.
-Men and women are so different. But, at all events, I would do nothing
-before Monday: and in the meantime, I had promised to go and call on
-Major Bellinger’s invalid wife. There had been something about him that
-pleased me. Not that he was attractive; but he had the look of a man who
-was not always at his ease, who had cares and perplexities in his life,
-and perhaps could not always make both ends meet. I always recognize
-that look. I am not very rich now, and never will be; but I once was
-poor, quite poor, and I know the look of it, and it goes to my heart.</p>
-
-<p>Accordingly, the first day I was at liberty I drove into Royalborough to
-see Mrs. Bellinger. They were in a little house&mdash;one of the houses which
-people take for the purpose of letting<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a>{160}</span> them to the officers. It was
-opposite to a tall church, a three-storied house, with two rooms on each
-floor all the way up. There was a little oblong strip of garden in front
-and another oblong strip behind; and everything about it gave evidence
-that it was let furnished. But the little garden was rather pretty, and
-there was a virginian creeper hanging in rich red wreaths upon the
-walls. The drawing-room was the front room on the ground-floor. When I
-was shown in, it seemed to me that I interrupted the prettiest domestic
-scene. A lady, who looked very fragile and weak, though not ill, lay on
-a sofa in the room. Of course, she was Mrs. Bellinger. She was about
-forty, perhaps,&mdash;not much older than Lady Isabella. She had a lovely
-invalid complexion, a soft, delicate flush which came and went with
-every movement; her hair was beginning to get gray, and was partially
-covered by a cap. She looked very weak, very worn, very sweet and
-smiling, and cheerful. Near her, on a low chair, sat a gentleman with a
-book in his hand. He had been reading aloud, and had just stopped when I
-came to the door; and in front of him, at a little distance, seated on a
-stool, just by her mother’s feet, sat a girl of seventeen or so, with
-her head bent over her work. This was Edith, the Major’s favourite
-child, the only one at home. And the gentleman who had been reading
-aloud was Colonel Brentford, the man about whom my mind had been busy
-night and day.</p>
-
-<p>I took the chair that was given me, and I began to talk, but all the
-freedom and ease were taken out of me. I felt as if I had received a
-blow. Poor Lady Isabella! I had already perceived that to put herself in
-competition with the young girls would be a hopeless notion indeed; but
-it was no longer the girls in general, some of whom were empty-headed
-enough, but Edith Bellinger in particular. Poor Lady Isabella! If she
-saw him once like this, I said to myself, she would not wish to see him
-again!</p>
-
-<p>‘My husband told me you were going to be so good,’ said the invalid. ‘He
-told me how kind you had been, asking for me. I am really quite well for
-me, and I am sure I could do a great deal more if they would but let me.
-Hush, Edie! I am dreadfully petted and spoiled, Mrs. Mulgrave. They make
-a baby of me, and Colonel Brentford is so kind as to come and read&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is very good of him, I am sure,’ I said mechanically; and then,
-without knowing what I was doing, I looked at Edith. She was quite
-unconscious of any meaning in my look. She smiled at me in return with
-all the sweet composure yet shyness of a child. Would he be equally
-unconscious? I raised my eyes and looked steadily at him. He bore my
-scrutiny very well indeed. I knew there was an angry flush on my face
-which I could not quite conceal, and an eager look of inquiry. It
-puzzled him, there was no doubt. A vague sort of wonder came into his
-eyes, and he smiled too. What could the old woman mean? I am sure he was
-thinking. Edith was very pretty, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>{161}</span> then a great many girls are
-pretty. What was particular about her was her sweet look, which moved me
-even though I was so hostile to her. One saw she was ready to run
-anywhere, to do anything, at the least little glance from her mother.
-She was mending stockings&mdash;the homeliest work&mdash;and she looked such a
-serviceable, useful creature&mdash;so different from those Fielding girls,
-who thought of nothing but the dance. To be sure, the stockings and the
-useful look were much more likely to please me than to attract a
-guardsman; but I did not think of that in my sudden jealousy of her.
-Poor, poor Lady Isabella!</p>
-
-<p>And he did not go away, as he would have done had this been a chance
-visit. He kept his place, and joined in the conversation as if he
-belonged to the house. When I asked Mrs. Bellinger to come and see me,
-he seconded me quite eagerly. He was sure she was able, he said; while
-Edith put her pretty head on one side, and looked very wise and very
-doubtful.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Colonel Brentford, please don’t be so rash&mdash;please don’t!’ said
-Edith. ‘It is very, very kind of Mrs. Mulgrave, but we must think it
-over first&mdash;we must indeed.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I will send my pony,’ said I; ‘he is the steadiest little fellow, and
-it is such a pretty drive. The weather is so mild that I am sure it
-would do you good.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Now, Edith, please let me go,’ said the invalid. ‘Do not be such a
-little hard-hearted inexorable&mdash;Colonel Brentford is the kindest of you
-all. He is ready to let me have a little indulgence, and so is the
-Major, Mrs. Mulgrave; but Edith is the most odious little tyrant&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma dear, it is for your good,’ said Edith with the deepest gravity;
-and the mother and the friend looked at each other and laughed. How
-pretty it was to see her shaking her young head, looking so serious, so
-judicious, so full of care! ‘No wonder if he is fond of her,’ I said to
-myself. I felt my own heart melting; but, all the same, I steeled it
-against her, feeling that I was on the other side.</p>
-
-<p>‘And I am sure,’ I said with an effort&mdash;for it seemed almost like
-encouraging him&mdash;‘I shall be very glad to see Colonel Brentford too; if
-you will take the trouble to come so far for a cup of tea?’</p>
-
-<p>He said it would give him the greatest pleasure, with a cordiality that
-made me cross, and got up and took his leave, shaking hands with me in
-his friendliness. Why was he so friendly, I wonder? When he was gone,
-Mrs. Bellinger launched into his praises.</p>
-
-<p>‘You must not think it is only me he is good to,’ she said; ‘he is kind
-to everybody. People laugh at the guardsmen, and make fun of them; but
-if they only knew George Brentford! Because they see him everywhere in
-society, they think he is just as frivolous as the rest. But if they
-knew what kind of places he goes to when nobody sees him&mdash;as we do,
-Edith?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, mamma,’ said Edith, as calm as any cabbage. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a>{162}</span> mother was quite
-moved by her gratitude and enthusiasm, but the daughter took it all very
-quietly. ‘He means to be very kind, but he is rash,’ said the little
-wise woman; ‘he gives the boys knives and things, though he knows they
-always cut themselves. He thinks so much more of pleasing people than of
-what is right. If Mrs. Mulgrave would leave it open, mamma dear, and
-then we could see how you are.’</p>
-
-<p>This was how it was finally decided; indeed, before I left, even after
-that first visit, I could see that things were generally decided as
-Edith thought best. They were to come on Saturday&mdash;the Saturday before
-the ball&mdash;if Mrs. Bellinger was well enough; and Colonel Brentford was
-to come too. I asked myself all the way back what Lady Isabella would
-think of the arrangement. That was not how she expected to meet him. She
-had wanted to see her old love&mdash;a man whom (I could not but feel) she
-had never quite put out of her heart&mdash;perhaps only to prove herself,
-perhaps to try if any lingerings of the old tenderness remained in him.
-And now that it was arranged, and she was really to see him, it was in
-company of a young bright creature who, there could be little doubt, was
-all to him that Lady Isabella had ever been. What a shock and bitter
-dispelling of all dreams for her! but yet, perhaps, to do that at once
-and at a blow was kindest after all.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">As</span> I drove home, strangely enough, I met the ladies on their afternoon
-walk. Mrs. Spencer was in advance as usual, talking rapidly and with
-animation, while Lady Isabella lagged a step behind, pausing to look at
-the ripe brambles and the beautiful ruddy autumn leaves.</p>
-
-<p>‘Just look what a bit of colour,’ she was saying when I came up; but
-Mrs. Spencer’s mind, it was evident, was full of other things.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wonder how you can care for such nonsense,’ she said; ‘I never saw
-any one so unexcitable. After me fussing myself into a fever, to
-preserve you from this annoyance! and I knew it would be too much for
-you&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Hush!’ said Lady Isabella, emphatically, and then Mrs. Spencer
-perceived the pony carriage for the first time, and restrained herself.
-She changed her tone in a moment, and came up to me with her alert step
-when I drew the pony up.</p>
-
-<p>‘What a nice afternoon for a drive,’ she said; ‘have you been at
-Royalborough?&mdash;is there anything going on? I have dragged Isabella out
-for a walk, as usual much against her will.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I have been to make a call,’ I said, ‘on a poor invalid, the wife of
-Major Bellinger.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes! I know, I know,’ said Mrs. Spencer; ‘he is to be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a>{163}</span> the
-barrack-master. He rose from the ranks, I think, or something&mdash;very
-poor, and a large family. I know quite what sort of person she would be.
-The kind of woman that has been pretty, and has quite broken down with
-children and trouble&mdash;I know. It was very good of you; quite like
-yourself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘If it was very good of me, I have met with a speedy reward,’ said I,
-‘for I have quite fallen in love with her&mdash;and her daughter. They are
-coming to me on Saturday&mdash;if Mrs. Bellinger is able&mdash;for afternoon tea.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I know exactly the kind of person,’ said Mrs. Spencer, nodding her
-head. ‘Ah, my dear Mrs. Mulgrave, you are always so good, and so&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Easily taken in,’ she was going to say, but I suppose I looked very
-grave, for she stopped.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is the daughter pretty, too?’ said Lady Isabella: a flush had come upon
-her face, and she looked at me intently, waiting, I could see, for a
-sign. She understood that this had something to do with the commission
-she had given me. And I was so foolish as to think she had divined my
-thoughts, and had fixed upon Edith, by instinct, as an obstacle in her
-way.</p>
-
-<p>‘Never mind the daughter,’ I said hastily, ‘but do come on Saturday
-afternoon, and see if I am not justified in liking the mother. I dare
-say they are not very rich, but they are not unpleasantly poor, or, if
-they are, they don’t make a show of it; and a little society, I am sure,
-would do her all the good in the world.’</p>
-
-<p>This time Lady Isabella looked so intently at me, that I ventured to
-give the smallest little nod just to show her that I meant her to come.
-She took it up in a moment. Her face brightened all over. She made me a
-little gesture of thanks and satisfaction. And she put on instantly her
-old laughing, lively, satirical air.</p>
-
-<p>‘Of course we shall come,’ she said, ‘even if this lady were not sick
-and poor. These qualities are great temptations to us, you are aware;
-but even if she were just like other people we should come.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, Isabella!’ said Mrs. Spencer, ‘you who are so unwilling to go
-anywhere!’ but of course she could not help adding a civil acceptance of
-my invitation; and so that matter was settled more easily than I could
-have hoped.</p>
-
-<p>I saw them the next day&mdash;once more by accident. We were both calling at
-the same house, and Lady Isabella seized the opportunity to speak to me.
-She drew me apart into a corner, on pretence of showing me something.
-‘Look here,’ she said, with a flush on her face, ‘tell me, do you think
-me a fool&mdash;or worse? That is about my own opinion of myself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ I said, ‘indeed I don’t. I think you are doing what is quite
-right. This is not a matter which concerns other people, that you should
-be guided by them, but yourself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, it does not concern any one very much,’ she said, with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a>{164}</span> forced
-laugh. ‘I am not so foolish as to think <i>that</i>. It is a mere piece of
-curiosity&mdash;folly. The fact is, one does not grow wise as one grows old,
-though of course one ought. And&mdash;he is&mdash;really to be there on Saturday?
-Despise me, laugh at me, make fun of me!&mdash;I deserve it, I know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He is really to come&mdash;I hope.’ I said it faltering, with a sense of
-fright at my own temerity: and Lady Isabella gave me a doubtful,
-half-suspicious look as she left me. Now that it had come so near I grew
-alarmed, and doubted much whether I should have meddled. It is very
-troublesome having to do with other people’s affairs. It spoiled my rest
-that night, and my comfort all day. I almost prayed that Saturday might
-be wet, that Mrs. Bellinger might not be able to come. But, alas!
-Saturday morning was the brightest, loveliest autumn morning, all
-wrapped in a lovely golden haze, warm and soft as summer, yet subdued
-and chastened and sweet as summer in its heyday never is: and the first
-post brought me a note from Edith, saying that her mamma felt so well,
-and was so anxious to come. Accordingly, I had to make up my mind to it.
-I sent the pony carriage off by twelve o’clock, that the pony might have
-a rest before he came back, and I got out my best china, and had my
-little lawn carefully swept clean of faded leaves, and my flower-beds
-trimmed a little. They were rather untidy with the mignonette, which had
-begun to grow bushy, but then it was very sweet; and the asters and red
-geraniums looked quite gay and bright. My monthly rose, too, was covered
-with flowers. I am very fond of monthly roses; they are so sweet and so
-pathetic in autumn, remonstrating always, and wondering why summer
-should be past; or at least that is the impression they convey to me. I
-know some women who are just like them, women who have a great deal to
-bear, and cannot help feeling surprised that so much should be laid upon
-them; yet who keep on flowering and blossoming in spite of all,
-brightening the world and keeping the air sweet, not for any reason, but
-because they can’t help it. My visitor who was coming was, I think,
-something of that kind.</p>
-
-<p>The first of the party to arrive were Major Bellinger and Colonel
-Brentford; they had walked over, and the Major was very eloquent about
-my kindness to his wife. ‘Nothing could possibly do her so much good,’
-he said. ‘I don’t know how to thank you, Mrs. Mulgrave. Brentford says
-he made up his mind she must go the very first minute, whether she could
-or not&mdash;he said he was so sure you would do her good.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am very glad Colonel Brentford had such a favourable opinion of me,’
-I said.</p>
-
-<p>Then I stopped short, feeling very much embarrassed. If Lady Isabella
-had only come in <i>then</i>, before the ladies arrived&mdash;but, of course, she
-did not. She came only after Mrs. Bellinger was established on the sofa,
-and Edith had taken off her hat. They looked quite a family party, I
-could not but feel. Colonel<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a>{165}</span> Brentford, probably, was very nearly as old
-as the Major himself, and quite as old as the Major’s wife; but then he
-had the unmarried look which of itself seems a kind of guarantee of
-youth, and his face was quite free of that cloud of care which was more
-or less upon both their faces. He was standing outside the open window
-with Edith when Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella came in. He did not see
-them. He was getting some of the monthly roses for her, which were high
-up upon the verandah. It was so high that it was very seldom we were
-able to get the flowers; but he was a tall man, and he managed it. Lady
-Isabella perceived him at once, and I saw a little shiver run over her.
-She gave Mrs. Bellinger, poor soul, but a very stiff salutation, and sat
-down on a chair near the window. She did not notice the girl. She had
-not thought of Edith, and no sort of suspicion as yet had been roused in
-her. She sat down quietly, and waited until he should come in.</p>
-
-<p>How strange it was!&mdash;all bright full sunshine, no shadow or mystery to
-favour the romance; the Bellingers and Mrs. Spencer talking in the most
-ordinary way; the Colonel outside, pulling down the branch of pale
-roses; and Edith smiling, shaking off some dewdrops that had fallen from
-them upon her pretty hair. All so ordinary, so calm, so peaceable&mdash;but
-Lady Isabella seated there, silent, waiting&mdash;and I looking on with a
-chill at my very heart. He was a long time before he came in&mdash;talking to
-Edith was pleasant out in that verandah, with all the brilliant sunshine
-about, and the russet trees so sweet in the afternoon haze.</p>
-
-<p>‘You shall have some,’ he said; ‘but we must give some to your mother
-first.’</p>
-
-<p>And then he came in with the branch in his hand. I don’t know whether
-some sense of suppressed excitement in the air struck him as he paused
-in the window, but he did stand still there, and looked round him with
-an inquiring look. He had not left so many people in the room as were in
-it now, and he was surprised. He looked at me, and then I suppose my
-agitated glance directed him, in spite of myself, to Lady Isabella. He
-gave a perceptible start when he saw her, and smothered an exclamation.
-He recognized her instantly. His face flushed, and the branch of roses
-in his hand trembled. All this took place quite unobserved by anybody
-but me, and, perhaps, Edith, outside the window, who was coming in after
-him, and now stood on tiptoe, trying to see what was going on and
-wondering. Lady Isabella looked up at him with a face so uncertain in
-its expression that my terror was great. Was she angry? Was she going to
-betray herself, and show the nervous irritability which possessed her?
-She was very pale&mdash;white to her lips; and he so flushed and startled.
-She looked up at him, and then her lips parted and she smiled.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think <i>I</i> should like one of the roses,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Brentford did not say a word. He made her a bow, and with a
-trembling hand (how it did tremble!&mdash;it made me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a>{166}</span> shake with sympathy to
-see it) he detached a spray from the great branch, which was all pink
-with roses, and gave it to her; and then he went away into the furthest
-corner, throwing down his roses on a table as he passed, and stared out
-of the window. To him the meeting was quite unexpected, I
-suppose&mdash;something utterly startling and sudden. The talk went on all
-the same. Edith, surprised, came in, and stood with her back to the open
-window, looking after him in a state of bewilderment. He had gone in
-smiling, to give her mother the flowers; and now he was standing with
-his back to us, the flowers cast down anywhere. As for Lady Isabella,
-she had buried her face in her roses, and sat quite silent, taking no
-notice of any one. Such was this meeting, which I had brought about. And
-all the time I had to talk to Major Bellinger, and look as if I were
-attending to what he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Does Edith sing?’ I asked in desperation. ‘I am so glad! Do sing us
-something, my dear&mdash;oh, anything&mdash;and the simpler the better. How nice
-it is of you not to want your music! My piano is not in very good order,
-I play so seldom now; but it will not matter much to your young fresh
-voice.’</p>
-
-<p>I said this, not knowing what I was saying, and hurried her to the
-piano, thinking, if she sang ever so badly, it still would be a blessed
-relief amid all this agitation and excitement.</p>
-
-<p>‘I only sing to mamma,’ said Edith. ‘I will try if you wish it; but papa
-does not care for my singing&mdash;and Colonel Brentford hates it,’ she
-added, raising her voice.</p>
-
-<p>There was a little spite, a little pique, in what Edith said. She was
-confounded by his sudden withdrawal, and anxious to call him back and
-punish him. This however was not the effect her words produced. Colonel
-Brentford took no notice, and kept his back towards us; but on another
-member of our little company the effect was startling enough.</p>
-
-<p>‘Colonel Brentford!’ said Mrs. Spencer with a little shriek; and her
-nice comfortable commonplace talk with Mrs. Bellinger came to an end at
-once. She got up and came to me, and drew me into another corner. ‘For
-Heaven’s sake,’ she said, ‘tell me, what did the girl mean? Colonel
-Brentford! He is the one man in all the world whom we must not meet.
-That is not him surely at the window? Oh, good heavens! what is to be
-done? I wanted to tell you, but I never had an opportunity. Mrs.
-Mulgrave, he was once engaged to Isabella. They had a quarrel, and it
-nearly cost her her life. I think I would almost have given mine to
-preserve her from this trial. Has she seen him?&mdash;Oh, my poor dear! my
-poor dear!’</p>
-
-<p>Let anybody imagine what was the scene presented in my drawing-room now.
-Colonel Brentford at the other end, with his back to us all, gazing out
-at the window: Major Bellinger at one side of the room, and his wife at
-the other, suddenly deserted by the people they had been respectively
-talking to, looking across at each other with raised eyebrows and
-questioning<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a>{167}</span> looks. Edith, confused and half-offended, stood before the
-closed piano, where I had led her; and Mrs. Spencer holding me by the
-arm in the opposite corner to that occupied by Colonel Brentford, was
-discoursing close to my ear with excited looks and voluble utterance.
-And these people were strangers to me, not like familiar friends, who
-could wait for an explanation. I could only whisper in Mrs. Spencer’s
-ear, ‘For heaven’s sake, do not let us make a scene now&mdash;let us keep
-everything as quiet as possible now!’</p>
-
-<p>Just then Lady Isabella suddenly rose from her seat, and sat down beside
-Mrs. Bellinger, and began to talk to her. I could not quite hear how she
-began, but I made out by instinct, I suppose, what she was saying:</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot ask Mrs. Mulgrave to introduce me, for I see she is occupied;
-but I know who you are, and you must let me introduce myself. I am Lady
-Isabella Morton, and I live here with a great friend of mine. Colonel
-Brentford and I used to know each other long ago&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Bellinger, drawing her breath quickly; ‘I think I have
-heard&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘He was startled to see me,’ said Lady Isabella. ‘Of course, he did not
-expect&mdash;but we are always meeting people we don’t expect. Your daughter
-is going to sing. Hush! please hush! I want to hear it,’ she cried,
-raising her hand with a little sign to the Major, who looked as though
-he might be going to talk. Every word she said was audible through the
-room, her voice was so clear and full.</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Brentford turned round slowly. He turned almost as if he were a
-man upon a pedestal, which some pivot had the power to move. Either it
-was her voice which attracted him, or he had heard what she said, or
-perhaps he was recovering from the shock of the first meeting.</p>
-
-<p>It was at this moment that Edith began to sing. I do not know what her
-feelings were, or if she cared anything about it; but certainly all the
-rest of the party, with the exception of her father and mother, were
-excited to such a strange degree, that I felt as if some positive
-explosion must occur. How is it that fire and air, and all sorts of
-senseless things, cause explosions, and that human feeling does not?
-Edith’s girlish, fresh voice, rising out of the midst of all this
-electrified one. It was a pretty voice singing one of the ordinary
-foolish songs, which are all alike&mdash;a voice without the least passion or
-even sentiment in it, sweet, fresh, guiltless of any feeling. Lady
-Isabella leaned back in her chair, and listened with a faint smile upon
-her face; Colonel Brentford stood undecided between her and the piano,
-sometimes making a half-movement towards the singer, but turning his
-eyes the other way; while Mrs. Spencer, on the other side of the room,
-sat with her hands clasped, and gazed at her friend. The two Bellingers
-listened as people listen to the singing of their child; a soft little
-complacent smile was on the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a>{168}</span> mother’s face. When Edith approached a
-false note, or when she was a little out in her time, Mrs. Bellinger
-gave a quick glance round to see if anybody noticed it, and blushed, as
-it were, under her breath. The Major kept time softly with his finger;
-and we&mdash;listened with our hearts thumping in our ears, bewildered by the
-pleasant little song in its inconceivable calm, and yet glad of the
-moment’s breathing time.</p>
-
-<p>‘Thank you, my dear,’ said I, when the song was done; and we all said
-‘Thanks’ with more or less fervour, while the parents, innocent people,
-looked on well pleased.</p>
-
-<p>And then I went to Edith at the piano, and asked all about her music,
-what masters she had had, and a thousand other trifles, not hearing what
-she answered me. But I did hear something else. I heard Colonel
-Brentford speak to Lady Isabella, and took in every word. There was
-nothing remarkable about it; but he spoke low, as if his words meant
-more than met the ear.</p>
-
-<p>‘I knew you were living here,’ was all he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I suppose so,’ said Lady Isabella. She had been quite calm before,
-but I knew by her voice she was flurried now. And then there followed
-that little agitated laugh, which in the last few days I had learnt to
-know. ‘Most people know where everybody lives,’ she added, with an
-attempt at indifference. ‘I too knew that your regiment was here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But I did not expect to see you just then,’ he went on. ‘And that
-rose&mdash;&mdash; Pardon me if I was rude. I was taken altogether by surprise.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That I should ask you for a rose?’ she said, holding it up. ‘It is but
-a poor little thing, as these late flowers always are. Not much scent,
-and less colour, but sweet, because it is over&mdash;almost a thing of the
-past.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I was taken altogether by surprise,’ said Colonel Brentford.</p>
-
-<p>He did not make any reply to her. He was not clever, as she was. He
-repeated his little phrase of confused no-meaning, and his voice
-trembled. And while he was saying all this, Edith was telling me that
-she had had a few&mdash;only a very few&mdash;lessons from Herrmannstadt, but her
-mamma hoped that if they stayed at Royalborough, she might be able to
-have some from Dr. Delvey or Miss de la Pluie.</p>
-
-<p>‘If, my dear?’ said I. ‘I thought it was quite settled that you were to
-stay!’ And then her answer became unintelligible to me; for my ears were
-intent upon what was going on behind us, and instead of listening to
-Edith, I heard only Colonel Brentford’s feet shuffling uneasily upon the
-carpet, and Mrs. Spencer asking Lady Isabella if she did not think it
-was time to go.</p>
-
-<p>‘But you have not had any tea,’ said I, rushing to the front: though,
-indeed, I was not at all sure that I wished them to stay.</p>
-
-<p>‘We never take any tea,’ said Mrs. Spencer, unblushingly; though she
-knew that I knew she was the greatest afternoon<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a>{169}</span> tea-drinker in all
-Dinglefield; ‘and we have to call upon old Mrs. Lloyd, who is quite ill.
-Did you know she was ill? We must not neglect the sick and the old, you
-know, even for the pleasantest society. Isabella, my dear!’</p>
-
-<p>Colonel Brentford went after us to the door. He looked at them
-wistfully, watching their movements, until he saw that Mrs. Spencer had
-a cloak over her arm. Then he came forward with a certain heavy
-alacrity.</p>
-
-<p>‘Let me carry it for you,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, thanks! We are not going far; don’t take the trouble. I would not
-for the world take you from your friends,’ cried Mrs. Spencer wildly.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is no trouble, if you will let me,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>He had taken the cloak out of her astonished hand, and Lady Isabella, in
-the meantime, with a smile on her face, had walked on in advance. Even
-I, though I felt so much agitated that I could have cried, could not but
-laugh to see Mrs. Spencer’s look of utter discomfiture as she turned
-from my door, attended by this man whom she so feared. I stood and
-watched them as they went away, with a mingled feeling of relief and
-anxiety and wonder. Thus it was over. Was it over? Could this be a
-beginning or an end?</p>
-
-<p>When I went back to the Bellingers they were consulting together, and I
-fear were not quite well pleased. The Major and his daughter drew back
-as I entered, but I saw it on their faces.</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope you will pardon me,’ I said, ‘for leaving you alone. My friends
-are gone, and Colonel Brentford has kindly walked with them to carry
-something. Now I know you must want some tea.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed, mamma is a great deal too tired,’ said Edith, who naturally was
-most nettled, ‘I am sure we ought to go home.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I think she is over-tired,’ said the Major doubtfully.</p>
-
-<p>He did not want to be dragged away so suddenly; but yet he was a little
-surprised. Mrs. Bellinger, for her part, did not say anything, but she
-looked pale, and my heart smote me. And then there appeared a line of
-anxiety, which I had not noticed before, between her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is only that she wants some tea,’ said I; and the Stokes coming in
-at the moment, to my infinite satisfaction, made a diversion, and
-brought things back to the ordinary channel of talk. And then they
-challenged the Major and Edith to croquet, for which all the hoops and
-things were set out on the lawn. Mrs. Bellinger and I began to talk when
-they went away: and presently Colonel Brentford came back and sat
-silently by us for five minutes&mdash;then went out to the croquet-players. A
-little silence fell upon us, as the sound of the voices grew merrier
-outside. It may be thought a stupid game now-a-days, but it is pretty to
-look at, when one is safe and out of it; and we two ladies sat in the
-cool room and watched the players, no doubt with grave thoughts enough.
-Colonel Brentford took Edith in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a>{170}</span> hand at once. He showed her how to
-play, advised her, followed her, was always by her side. What did it
-mean? Was he glad that his old love had passed away like a dream, and
-left him free to indulge in this new one&mdash;to throw himself into this
-younger, brighter existence? Neither of us spoke, and I wondered whether
-we were both busy with the same thought.</p>
-
-<p>At length Mrs. Bellinger broke the silence.</p>
-
-<p>‘I feel so anxious about our Colonel,’ she said; ‘he is so good and so
-nice. And your friends came by chance, quite by chance, Mrs. Mulgrave?
-How strange it is? Do you know that there was once&mdash;&mdash; But of course you
-know. Oh, I hope this meeting will be for good, and not for harm.’</p>
-
-<p>‘For harm!’ I said, with words that did not quite express my thoughts.
-‘They are both staid, sober people, not likely to go back to any
-youthful nonsense. How could it do harm?’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Bellinger shook her head. There was a cloud upon her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘We shall see in time,’ she said, in a melancholy, prophetic way, and
-sighed again.</p>
-
-<p>To whom could it be that she apprehended harm? Not to Lady Isabella,
-whom she did not know. Was it to the child then, or to <i>him</i>?</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Next</span> day I had a number of visitors. Mrs. Spencer had made it so well
-known in Dinglefield that nobody was to invite Lady Isabella to meet the
-new officers, that my unexampled temerity startled the whole
-neighbourhood. ‘Of course they have met, notwithstanding all our
-precautions&mdash;and fancy, at Mrs. Mulgrave’s! She was almost the only
-person Mrs. Spencer had not told,’ my neighbours said; for the place is
-so small, that of course everybody knows what everybody else is doing on
-the Green. The Stokes were the first to call, and they were full of it.</p>
-
-<p>‘Fancy not telling us that Lady Isabella had been here?’ cried Lottie.
-‘You must have known there was something, or you would have told us. And
-what did you mean by it? Did you think they ought to have another
-chance; or did you think&mdash;&mdash;? Oh, I do so wish you would tell me what
-you meant!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Another chance, indeed!’ said Lucy. ‘As if Colonel Brentford&mdash;a
-handsome man, and just a nice age&mdash;would look twice at that old thing!’</p>
-
-<p>‘He is a good deal older than the old thing,’ said I; ‘and it is a poor
-account of both men and women, Lucy, if everything is to give way to
-mere youth. You yourself will not be seventeen always. You should
-remember that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, but then I shall be married,’ said Lucy; ‘and I sha’n’t mind if
-nobody pays me any attention. I shall have my husband and my children of
-course; but an old maid&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Be quiet, Lucy,’ said her sister angrily. ‘If you girls only<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a>{171}</span> knew how
-to hold your tongues, then you might have a chance; but please tell me,
-Mrs. Mulgrave&mdash;you won’t say you did not mean anything, for of course
-you knew&mdash;&mdash;?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t intend to say anything about it, my dear; and here is Mrs.
-Spencer coming, if you would like to make any further inquiries,’ I
-said. I was quite glad to see her, to get rid of their questionings.
-Mrs. Spencer was very much flurried and disturbed, out of breath both of
-mind and body.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, my dear Mrs. Mulgrave, what an unfortunate business!’ she said, the
-moment the girls were gone. ‘I have nobody but myself to blame, for I
-never told you. I thought as you did not give many parties&mdash;and then I
-know you don’t care much for those dancing sort of men: and how was I to
-suppose he would be thrown upon your hands like this? It has upset me
-so,’ she said, turning to me, with her eyes full of tears; ‘I have not
-slept all night.’</p>
-
-<p>Her distress was a great deal too genuine to be smiled at. ‘I am so
-sorry,’ I said; ‘but, after all, I do not think it is serious. It did
-not seem to disturb her much.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, that is because she does not show it,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘She is
-so unselfish. You might stab her to the heart and she would never say a
-word, if there was any one near who could be made unhappy by it. She
-would not let <i>me</i> see, for she knows it would make me wretched. And I
-<i>am</i> quite wretched about her. If this were to bring up old feelings!
-And you know she nearly died of it&mdash;at the time.’</p>
-
-<p>The tears came dropping down on poor Mrs. Spencer’s thin nose. It was
-too thin, almost sharp in outline, but such tears softened all its
-asperity away. I could not help thinking of those dreadful French
-proverbs, which are so remorseless and yet so true; about ‘<i>l’un qui
-aime, et l’autre qui se laisse aimer</i>;’ about ‘<i>l’un qui baise et
-l’autre qui tend la joue</i>.’ Is it always so in this world? I could have
-beaten myself for having interfered at all in the matter. Why should
-anybody ever interfere? Life is hard enough without any assistance to
-make it worse.</p>
-
-<p>Lady Isabella herself came in late, when, fortunately, I was alone; and
-she was in a very different mood. She came in, and gave a curious,
-humorous glance round the room, and then sat down in the chair by the
-window, where she had sat the day before, and asked Colonel Brentford
-for that rose.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is it possible it has been and is over,’ she said, in her mocking way;
-‘that great, wonderful event, to which I looked forward so much? It
-happened just here: and yet the place is exactly the same. How funny it
-is when one remembers that it has happened, and yet feels one’s self
-exactly like what one was before&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are not sorry, then?’ I cried, not knowing what to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Sorry? oh, no,’ she said with momentary fervour: and then blushed
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a>{172}</span>scarlet. ‘On the contrary, I am very glad. It proved to me&mdash;&mdash; I got
-all I wanted. I am quite pleased with myself. I can’t have been such a
-fool after all; for&mdash;he is not clever, you know&mdash;but he is a man a woman
-need not be ashamed to have been in love with: and that is saying a
-great deal.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And is it only a “have been?”<span class="lftspc">’</span> said I; for after all when one had taken
-so much trouble it was hard that nothing should come of it. I felt as if
-I had taken a great deal of trouble, and all in vain.</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed, I should hope so!’ cried Lady Isabella, getting up and drawing
-her shawl round her hastily. ‘You surely did not think that I meant
-anything more. I am in a great hurry, I have only a few minutes to
-spare; and thanks to you, good friend, I have had my whim, and I am
-satisfied. I don’t feel at all ashamed of having been fond of
-him&mdash;once.’</p>
-
-<p>And with these words she ran away, silencing all questions. Was this
-indeed all? Was it a mere whim? To tell the truth, when I tried to put
-myself in her position, it seemed to me much wiser of Lady Isabella to
-let it end so. She was very well off and comfortable: she had come to an
-age when one likes to have one’s own way, and does not care to adopt the
-habits of others; and what an immense <i>bouleversement</i> it would make if
-she should marry and break up that pleasant house, and throw herself
-upon the chances of married life, abandoning Mrs. Spencer, who was as
-good as married to her, and who, no doubt, calculated on her society all
-her life. I said to myself&mdash;if I were Lady Isabella! And then there was
-the great chance, the almost certainty that he would never attempt to
-carry it any farther. He was a young-looking man, and no doubt (though
-it is very odd to me how they can do it) he felt himself rather on the
-level of a girl of twenty than of a woman of thirty-five. He had been a
-good deal startled and touched by the meeting, which was not wonderful:
-but he had returned to Edith’s side all the same; and, no doubt, that
-was where he would stay. Edith was very young, and her parents were
-poor, and the best thing for her would be to marry a man who was able to
-take care of her, and make her very comfortable, and to whom, in return,
-she would be entirely devoted. Edith could consent to be swallowed up in
-him altogether, and to have no life but that of her husband; and except
-by means of a husband who was well off the poor child never was likely
-to do anything for herself or her family, but would have to live a life
-of hard struggling with poverty and premature acquaintance with care.
-This was of course the point of view from which the matter should be
-regarded. To Lady Isabella Colonel Brentford’s means or position were
-unnecessary. She was very well off, very fully established in the world
-without him. And she could not be swallowed up in him, and renounce
-everything that was her own to become his wife. She was an independent
-being, with a great many independent ways and habits. It was better for
-him, better for her, better for Edith that nothing should come of this
-meeting;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a>{173}</span> and yet&mdash;how foolish one is about such matters: what vain
-fancies come into one’s head!</p>
-
-<p>Everything sank into its ordinary calm however from that day. I did not
-see Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella for a week after, and then they were
-exactly as they had always been. Lady Isabella made no remark to me of
-any kind on the subject, but Mrs. Spencer took me aside to give me her
-opinion. ‘I am so glad to tell you,’ she said, ‘that your little
-inadvertence has done no harm. Oh, I forgot: it was not an inadvertence
-on your part, but my own fault for not telling you. It has done no harm,
-I am so glad to say. Isabella seems to have quite settled down again. I
-don’t believe she has given him another thought. Of course it was a
-shock just at the moment. But you must not blame yourself, indeed you
-must not. Probably she would have met him somewhere sooner or later. I
-really feel quite glad that it is over; and it has done her no harm.’</p>
-
-<p>This was all I gained by my exertions; and I made a resolution that I
-would certainly never be persuaded to do anything of the kind again.
-For, indeed, it had complicated my relations with various people. What
-could I do, for instance, about the Bellingers? In the meantime I simply
-dropped them, after having rushed into such an appearance of intimacy.
-If anybody else had done it, I should have been indignant; but how could
-I help myself? I could not have Edith in my house and see him wooing
-her, after having taken such an interest in the other side. I could not
-insult Lady Isabella by letting that go on under her very eyes. And
-though I wondered sometimes what the respectable Major would think, and
-whether poor dear Mrs. Bellinger would be wounded, I had not the
-fortitude to continue the acquaintance. I simply dropped them: it was
-the only thing I could do.</p>
-
-<p>And then the winter came on all at once, which was a sort of excuse.
-There was a week or two of very bad weather and I caught cold, and was
-very glad of it, for, of course, nobody could expect me to drive to
-Royalborough in my little open carriage with a bad cold, through the
-rain and wind. A very dreary interval of dead quiet to me, and miserable
-weather, followed this little burst of excitement. I felt sore about it
-altogether, as a matter in which I had somehow been to blame, and which
-was a complete failure&mdash;to say the least. One day when I had been out
-for half an hour’s walk in the middle of the day, Colonel Brentford
-called; but the card which I found on my table was the only
-enlightenment this brought me, and my cold kept me away from all the
-society on the Green for six weeks, during which time I had no
-information on the subject. Sometimes, as usual, I saw Lady Isabella,
-but there was no change in her. She had quite settled down again, was
-the same as ever, and Mrs. Spencer had ceased to keep any watch upon
-her. And so it was all over, as a tale that is told.</p>
-
-<p>The first time I was out after my influenza was at Lady<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a>{174}</span> Denzil’s,
-where, to my surprise, I found Edith Bellinger. She scarcely looked at
-me, and it was with some difficulty I got our slender thread of
-acquaintance renewed. Her mother, she thanked me, was better; her father
-was quite well; they had been sorry to hear of my cold; yes, of course
-it was a long way to drive. Such was the fashion of Edith’s talk; and I
-acknowledged to myself that it was perfectly just.</p>
-
-<p>‘Your mamma must think it very strange that I have never gone to see her
-again,’ I was beginning to say, feeling uncomfortable and guilty.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t suppose she has thought about it,’ Edith said hastily; and then
-she stopped short and blushed. ‘I beg your pardon, I did not mean to be
-rude.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are quite right,’ I said&mdash;‘not in being rude, but in feeling as you
-do. I seem to have been very capricious and unfriendly; but I have been
-ill; and you do not look quite so well yourself as when I saw you last.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I am well enough,’ said the girl; and then those quick youthful
-tears of self-compassion which lie so near the surface came rushing to
-her eyes. ‘It is nothing, I&mdash;I am not very strong; and Lady Denzil, who
-is always kind, has asked me here for change of air.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor child,’ I said, ‘tell me what is the matter?’ But I was not to
-learn at this moment at least. Colonel Brentford, whom I had not seen
-till now, came forward and bent over her.</p>
-
-<p>‘They are going to sing something, and they want you to take a part. I
-have come for you,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>He looked down upon her quite tenderly, and held out his hand to help
-her to rise. Yes, of course, that was how it must have ended. It was all
-settled, of that I could have no doubt. I looked at them with, I fear, a
-look that had some pain and some pity in it, as they left me; and when I
-withdrew my eyes from them, my look met Lady Isabella’s, who was seated
-at the other side of the room. She had her usual half-mocking,
-half-kindly smile on her lips, but it looked to me set and immovable, as
-if she had been painted so and could not change; and she was
-pale&mdash;surely she was pale. It troubled me sadly, and all the more that I
-dared not say a word to any one, dared not even make any manifestation
-of sympathy to herself. She had chosen to renew her old acquaintance
-with him, had chosen to break down the barrier which sympathizing
-friends had raised round her, and to meet him with all freedom as if he
-were totally indifferent to her. This had been her own choice; and now,
-to be sure, she had to look on, and see all there might be to be seen.</p>
-
-<p>But he was very civil to me when he chanced to be thrown near me. He
-said, in a much more friendly tone than poor Edith’s, that Mrs.
-Bellinger had been sorry to hear of my cold; that he hoped I should soon
-be able to go and see her; and when I said that Edith did not look
-strong, he shook his head. ‘She is rather wilful, and does not know her
-own mind,’ he said,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a>{175}</span> and I thought he sighed. Was it that she could not
-make up her mind to accept him? Was it&mdash;&mdash; But speculation was quite
-useless, and there was no information to be got out of his face.</p>
-
-<p>A little after this I went to see Mrs. Bellinger, but was coldly
-received. Edith was not quite well, she said; she had been doing too
-much, and had gone away for a thorough change. Colonel Brentford? Oh, he
-had gone to visit his brother Sir Charles Brentford, in Devonshire.
-Edith was in Devonshire, too&mdash;at Torquay.</p>
-
-<p>‘They are a little afraid of her lungs,’ Mrs. Bellinger said. ‘Oh, not
-I; I don’t think there is very much the matter; but still they are
-afraid&mdash;and of course it is better to prevent than to cure.’</p>
-
-<p>It seemed to me a heartless way for a mother to speak, and I was
-discouraged by my reception. When I came away I made up my mind not to
-take any further trouble about the matter. Perhaps I had been mistaken
-in them at first, or perhaps&mdash;&mdash; but then, to be sure, I had another
-motive, and that existed no longer. It was my fault more than theirs.</p>
-
-<p>I heard no more of the Bellingers nor much more of Colonel Brentford for
-a long time after this. He, to be sure, went and came, as the other
-officers did, to one house and another, and I met him from time to time,
-and exchanged three words with him, but no more. And Lady Isabella made
-no reference whatever to that agitating moment when I, too, had a share
-in her personal history. Even Mrs. Spencer seemed to have forgotten all
-about it. Their house was more exquisite than ever that winter. They had
-built a new conservatory, which opened from the ante-room, and was full
-of the most bright, beautiful flowers&mdash;forced, artificial things to be
-sure they were, blooming long before their season, but still very lovely
-to look at in those winter days. The large drawing-room and the
-ante-room, and the conservatory at the end of all, were as warm and
-fragrant and soft and delicious as if they had been fairy-land&mdash;the
-temperature so equable, everything so soft to tread on, to sit on, to
-look at. It was a little drawing-room paradise&mdash;an Eden, with Turkey
-carpets instead of turf, and the flowers all in pots instead of growing
-free. And here Lady Isabella would sit, with that touch of mockery in
-her laugh, with little gibes at most people and most things, not quite
-so friendly or gentle as they once were. Now and then, I have thought,
-she cast a wistful glance at the door; now and then her spirits were
-fitful, her face paler than usual&mdash;but she had never been more lively or
-more bright.</p>
-
-<p>It was past Christmas, and already a pale glimmer of spring was in the
-air, when this little episode showed signs of coming to its conclusion.
-I remember the day quite distinctly&mdash;a pale day in the beginning of
-February, when everything was quite destitute of colour. The sky was
-gray and so was the grass, and the skeletons of the trees stood bleak
-against the dulness. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a>{176}</span> was the kind of afternoon when one is glad to
-hear any news, good or bad&mdash;anything that will quicken the blood a
-little, and restore to the nervous system something like its usual tone.</p>
-
-<p>This stimulus was supplied by the entrance to the house of our two
-neighbours Lucy Stoke&mdash;very important, and bursting with the dignity of
-a secret. She kept it in painfully for the first two minutes, moved
-chiefly by her reverential admiration for the fine furniture, the
-beautiful room, the atmosphere of splendour about her. But I was there,
-unfortunately, of whom Lucy was not afraid. It was to me, accordingly,
-that the revelation burst forth.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said, ‘you know her! Who do you think I met
-going down to Lady Denzil’s, in a white bonnet,&mdash;though it’s such a
-dismal day&mdash;and a blue dress&mdash;quite light blue&mdash;the dress she went away
-in, I should think?’</p>
-
-<p>‘A bride, I suppose,’ I said; ‘but whom?&mdash;I don’t remember any recent
-bride.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, I <i>know</i> you know her! Young Mrs. Brentford&mdash;Edith Bellinger
-that was.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Edith Bellinger!’ I cried, with a sudden pang. It was nothing to me. I
-had no reason to suppose it was anything to anybody, but yet&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘It must have been the dress she went away in,’ said Lucy: ‘blue trimmed
-with bands of satin and fringe, and a white bonnet with blue flowers. It
-was very becoming. But fancy, only three weeks married, and coming to
-see Lady Denzil alone!’</p>
-
-<p>‘And so she is Mrs. Brentford,’ said Mrs. Spencer, in a tone of genuine
-satisfaction. She would have suffered herself to be cut in little pieces
-for Lady Isabella, she would have done anything for her&mdash;but she was
-glad, unfeignedly thankful and relieved, to feel that this danger was
-past.</p>
-
-<p>And Lucy, well pleased, ran on for ten minutes or more. It felt like ten
-hours. When she went away at last, Mrs. Spencer went with her to the
-door, to hear further particulars. All this time Lady Isabella had never
-said a word. She was in the shade, and her face was not very distinctly
-visible. When they left the room, she rose all at once, pulling herself
-up by the arms of her chair. Such a change had come upon her face that I
-was frightened. Every vestige of colour had left her cheek; her lip was
-parched, and tightly drawn across her teeth. She laughed as she got up
-from the chair.</p>
-
-<p>‘We were all wishing for something to stir us up,’ she said; ‘but I
-never hoped for anything so exciting as Mrs. Brentford’s blue dress.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Where are you going?’ I said, in sudden terror.</p>
-
-<p>‘Up-stairs&mdash;only up-stairs. Where should I go?’ she said, with that
-short hard laugh. ‘Tell Mrs. Spencer&mdash;something. I have gone to
-fetch&mdash;Mrs. Brentford’s blue dress.’</p>
-
-<p>Oh, how that laugh pained me! I would rather, a thousand times rather,
-have heard her cry. She went away like a ghost,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a>{177}</span> without any noise; and
-Mrs. Spencer, full of thanksgiving, came back.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where is Isabella? Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I can’t tell you what a relief
-this news is,’ she said. ‘I have always been so dreadfully afraid. Of
-course, anything that was for her happiness I would have put up with;
-but this would not have been for her happiness. She is no longer young,
-you know&mdash;her habits are all formed&mdash;and, even though she was fond of
-him once, how could she have taken up a man’s ways, and adapted herself?
-It would never have done&mdash;it would never have done! I am so thankful he
-is married, and that danger past.’</p>
-
-<p>For my part, I could not make any answer. Perhaps Mrs. Spencer was
-right&mdash;perhaps, in the long run, it would be better so; but, in the
-meantime, I could not forget Lady Isabella’s face. I went home, feeling
-I cannot tell how sad. It was all so perfectly natural and to be
-expected. The hardest things in this world are the things that are to be
-expected. Of course, I had felt sure when I saw them together that it
-was the little girl who would be the victor in any such struggle. And
-Lady Isabella had not attempted any struggle. She had stood aside and
-looked on; though, perhaps, she had hoped that the old love would have
-counted for something in the man’s heart. But I said to myself that I
-had always known better. What was old love, with all its associations,
-in comparison with the little peachy cheek and childish ways of a girl
-of seventeen? I despised the man for it, of course; but I thought it
-natural all the same.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER V</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I was</span> sitting next day by myself, with my mind full of these thoughts,
-when I was suddenly roused by a shadow which flitted across the light,
-and then by the sound of some one knocking at the window which opened
-into my garden. I looked up hurriedly, and saw Lady Isabella. She was
-very pale, yet looked breathless, as if she had been running. She made
-me a hasty, imperative gesture to open, and when I had done so, came in
-without suffering me to shut the window. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ she said,
-panting between the words, ‘I have a very strange&mdash;request&mdash;to make. I
-want to speak with&mdash;some one&mdash;for ten minutes&mdash;alone. May
-we&mdash;come&mdash;here? I have nothing to conceal&mdash;from you. It is <i>him</i>;&mdash;he
-has something&mdash;to say to me&mdash;for the last time.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Lady Isabella&mdash;&mdash;’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t&mdash;say anything. It is strange&mdash;I know&mdash;but it must be; for the
-last time.’</p>
-
-<p>She did not seem able to stand for another moment. She sank down into
-the nearest chair, making a great effort to command herself. ‘Dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave&mdash;please call him,’ she cried<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a>{178}</span> faintly: ‘he is there. It will
-only be for ten minutes&mdash;there is something to explain.’</p>
-
-<p>I went out into the garden, and called him. He looked as much agitated
-as she did, and I went round the house, and through the kitchen-door
-with a sense of bewilderment which I could not put into words. Edith
-Bellinger’s bridegroom! What could he have to explain? What right had he
-to seek her, to make any private communication? I felt indignant with
-him, and impatient with her. Then I went into the dining-room and
-waited. My dining-room windows command the road, and along this I could
-see Mrs. Spencer walking in her quick, alert way. She was coming towards
-my house, in search, probably, of her companion. There was something
-absurd in the whole business, and yet the faces of the two I had just
-left were too tragical to allow any flippancy on the part of the
-spectator. Mrs. Spencer came direct to my door as I supposed, and I had
-to step out and stop the maid, who was about to usher her into the
-drawing-room where those two were. Mrs. Spencer was a little excited
-too.</p>
-
-<p>‘Have you seen Isabella?’ she said. ‘She was only about half-a-dozen
-yards behind me, round the corner at the Lodge; and when I turned to
-look for her she was gone. She could not have dropped into the earth you
-know, and I know she would never have gone to the Lodge. Is she here? It
-has given me quite a turn, as the maids say. She cannot have vanished
-altogether, like a fairy. She was too substantial for that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She will be here directly,’ said I; ‘she is speaking to some one in the
-other room.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Speaking&mdash;to some one! You look very strange, Mrs. Mulgrave, and
-Isabella has been looking very strange. Who is she speaking to? I am her
-nearest friend and I ought to know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said, ‘you ought to know, that is certain&mdash;but wait, only wait,
-ten minutes&mdash;that was the time she said.’</p>
-
-<p>And then we two sat and looked at each other, not knowing what to think.
-I knew scarcely more than she did, but the little that I knew made me
-only the more anxious. If his wife should hear of it&mdash;if Lady Isabella
-were to betray herself, compromise herself! And then what was the good
-of it all? No explanation could annul a fact, and the less explanation
-the better between a married man and his former love. This feeling made
-me wretched as the time went on. Time seems so doubly long when one is
-waiting, and especially when one is waiting for the result of some
-private, secret, mysterious interview. The house was so quiet, the maids
-moving about the kitchen, the chirp of the sparrows outside, the
-drip&mdash;drip of a shower, which was just over, from the leaves. All these
-sounds made the silence deeper, especially as there was no sound from
-that mysterious room.</p>
-
-<p>‘The ten minutes are long past,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘I don’t<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a>{179}</span> understand
-what all this mystery can mean. It is more like an hour, I think.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, do you think so?’ said I, though I fully agreed with her. ‘When one
-is waiting time looks so long. She will be here directly. I hear her
-now&mdash;that was her voice.’</p>
-
-<p>And so it certainly was. But everything became silent again the next
-instant. It was a sharp exclamation, sudden and high; and then we heard
-no more.</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot wait any longer,’ said Mrs. Spencer. ‘I don’t know what this
-can mean; I must have an explanation. Mrs. Mulgrave, if you will not
-come with me, I will go myself to Isabella. I don’t understand what she
-can mean.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I will go,’ said I; and we rose at the same moment and hurried to the
-door. But we had not time to open it when a sudden sound was audible,
-which arrested us both. The door of the other room was opened, voices
-came towards us&mdash;two voices, and then a laugh. Was it Lady Isabella’s
-laugh? Mrs. Spencer drew near me and pinched my arm violently. ‘Is it
-Isabella? What, oh, what can it mean?’ she said with a look of terror.
-And then the door was thrown suddenly open, driving us back as we stood
-in our consternation within.</p>
-
-<p>It was Lady Isabella who stood before us, and yet it was not the Lady
-Isabella I had ever known. When Mrs. Spencer saw her she gave a
-suppressed groan and sat down suddenly on the nearest chair. This Lady
-Isabella was leaning on Colonel Brentford’s arm. Her face was flushed
-and rosy; her eyes shining like stars, yet full of tears; dimples I had
-never seen before were in her cheeks and about her mouth. She was
-radiant, she was young, she was running over with joy and happiness. In
-her joy and triumph she did not notice, I suppose, the sudden despair of
-her friend. ‘I have come to tell you,’ she said hastily, ‘he never meant
-it. It is all over. Oh, do you understand? All this cloud that has
-lasted for ten years, that has come between us and the skies&mdash;it is all
-over, all over. He never meant it. Do you understand?’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Spencer stood up tottering, looking like a ghost. ‘Isabella! I
-thought you had forgotten him. I thought it was this that was all over.
-I thought you were content.’</p>
-
-<p>Lady Isabella gave her a look of that supreme happiness which is not
-considerate of other people’s feelings. ‘I am content now,’ she said,
-clasping her hands upon Colonel Brentford’s arm, ‘more than content.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Spencer answered with a bitter cry. ‘Then I am nothing to her,
-nothing to her!’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>It was at this moment that I interfered. I could keep silence no longer.
-I put myself between the two who were so happy and the one who was so
-miserable. ‘Before another word is said I must have this explained to
-me,’ I said. ‘He is Edith Bellinger’s husband. And this is my house&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>He interrupted me hurriedly: ‘I am no one’s husband but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a>{180}</span> hers,’ he said.
-‘You have been mistaken. Edith Bellinger has married my brother. There
-is no woman to me in the world but Isabella&mdash;never has been&mdash;never could
-be, though I lived a hundred years.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And it is you who have brought us together,’ cried Lady Isabella,
-suddenly throwing her arms round me. ‘God bless you for it! I should
-never have known, it would never have been possible but for you.’</p>
-
-<p>And he came to me and took both my hands. ‘God bless you for it, I say
-too! We might have been two forlorn creatures all our lives but for
-you.’</p>
-
-<p>I was overwhelmed with their thanks, with the surprise, and the shock.
-If I had done anything to bring this about I had done it in ignorance;
-but they surrounded me so with their joy and their gratitude, and the
-excitement of the revolution which had happened in them, that it was
-some minutes before I could think of anything else. And there was so
-much to be explained. But when I recovered myself so far as to look
-round and think of the other who did not share in their joy, I found she
-was gone. She had disappeared while they were thanking me, while I was
-expressing my wonder and my good wishes. None of us had either heard or
-seen her departure, but she was gone.</p>
-
-<p>‘Was Mrs. Spencer to blame?’ I asked with some anxiety when the tumult
-had subsided a little, and they had seated themselves like ordinary
-mortals and begun to accustom themselves to their delight. ‘Had she
-anything to do with the quarrel between you?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Nothing at all,’ said Lady Isabella. ‘She never saw George till she saw
-him in your house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘When you asked me for that rose&mdash;’ said he. ‘The rose you used to be so
-fond of; and I felt as if the skies had opened&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You turned your back upon me all the same,’ she said with the laugh
-that had suddenly become so joyous. They had forgotten everything but
-themselves and the new story of their reconciliation: which I suppose
-the old story of their estrangement thus recalled and reconsidered made
-doubly sweet.</p>
-
-<p>‘But about Mrs. Spencer?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor Mrs. Spen! She had got to be fond of me. She thought we were to
-spend all our lives together,’ said Lady Isabella with momentary
-gravity; and then the smile crept once more about the corners of her
-mouth, and the dimples which had been hidden all these years disclosed
-themselves, and her face warmed into sunshine as she turned to him. This
-was my fate whenever I tried to bring back the conversation to Mrs.
-Spencer, who, poor soul, had disappeared like a shadow before that
-sunshine. I was glad for their sakes to see them so happy; but still I
-could not but feel that it was hard to have given your life and love for
-years and to be rewarded at the end by that ‘poor Mrs. Spen.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a>{181}</span></p>
-
-<p>The news made a great commotion through all Dinglefield, and Mrs.
-Spencer did not make so much difficulty about it as I fancied she would.
-The marriage was from her house, and she took a great deal of trouble,
-and no mother could have been more careful and tender about a bride. But
-she made no fuss, poor soul&mdash;she had not the heart; and though I don’t
-like fuss, I missed it in this case, and felt that it was a sign how
-deep the blow had gone. Even Lady Isabella, pre-occupied as she was,
-felt it. She had not realized it perhaps&mdash;few people do. We are all in
-the habit of laughing at the idea of friendships so close and exacting,
-especially when they exist between women. But to Mrs. Spencer it was as
-if life itself had gone from her. Her companion had gone from her, the
-creature she loved best. Next to a man’s wife deserting him, or a
-woman’s husband, I know nothing more hard. Her pretty house, her
-flowers, her perfect comfort and grace of life palled upon her. She had
-kept them up chiefly, I think, for the young woman who, she had thought,
-poor soul, was wedded to her for life. Perhaps it was a foolish thought,
-perhaps it might be a little selfish to try to keep Colonel Brentford
-away. I suppose to be married is the happiest; but still I was very,
-very sorry, grieved more than I can say, for the woman who was forsaken;
-though she was only forsaken by another woman and not by a man.</p>
-
-<p>However that, I fear, is a sentiment in which I should find few
-sympathizers. The Brentfords took a place in the neighbourhood, and I
-believe Lady Isabella was a very happy wife. As for poor little Edith
-Bellinger, she had married the Colonel’s elder brother, Sir Charles, and
-was Lady Brentford, to her great astonishment and that of everybody
-about. It had been her doubt and reluctance, poor child, to marry a man
-older than her father, which had made her ill. I think her mother missed
-her almost as much as Mrs. Spencer missed Lady Isabella. For every new
-tie that is made in this world some old ties must be broken. But what
-does that matter? Is it not the course of nature and the way of the
-world?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a>{182}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="AN_ELDERLY_ROMANCE" id="AN_ELDERLY_ROMANCE"></a>AN ELDERLY ROMANCE</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> is a house in Dinglefield, standing withdrawn in a mass of
-shrubbery, and overshadowed by some fine trees, which has been called by
-the name of Brothers-and-Sisters for a longer time than any one in the
-village can recollect. It presents to the outside world who peep at it
-over the palings, between the openings which have been carefully cut to
-afford to its inmates pleasant glimpses of the lower part of the Green,
-on which the cricket matches are played, the aspect of a somewhat low
-white house, with no apparent entrance, and a great number of chimneys
-of different heights, chimneys which I suppose suggested to some wag the
-unequal stature of a family of children, and thus procured the house its
-popular name. In the map or the estate on which Dinglefield stands it is
-called Bonport House, and this is how the General’s letters, I need not
-say, are addressed. But yet the common name sticks, all the more because
-of the character of the family which now inhabits that hospitable place.
-It is literally a house of brothers and sisters. General Stamford, the
-head of the family, is a hale and ruddy old warrior of sixty, who has
-seen a great deal of service, and who has been knocked about, battered,
-and beaten from the age of sixteen until now: sent to every unfavourable
-place where a soldier without money or influence has to go, and engaged
-in every fierce little war in which it has been the pleasure of England
-to indulge, without any consideration for the feelings of her fighting
-men. He has been at Bermuda; he has been on the Gold Coast; he has
-braved all the fevers and fought all the savages within our ken; and
-outliving all this, has settled down with his sisters and brother in our
-village, one of the most peaceable yet the most active of men. It is for
-this last reason that General George (as we have all got to call him,
-partly because there are other generals about, and to say General
-Stamford every time you mention a man in a neighbourhood like ours is
-fatiguing&mdash;and partly for kindness) has so many things on his hands. He
-is one of the directors of our railway; he is on several boards in town,
-where he goes almost every day punctual as clockwork, brushed to
-perfection, and driven to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a>{183}</span> station by Miss Stamford in the
-pony-carriage, which always takes him there, and always meets him when
-he comes back. Miss Stamford is the eldest sister of all. She is very
-like her brother, and there never was such a tender brotherly sisterly
-union as between these two old people. They have known each other so
-long, longer than any husband and wife. They have the recollections of
-the nursery quite fresh in their minds, as if it were yesterday&mdash;when it
-was always Ursula who found George’s books for him, and gave him good
-advice, and most of her pocket-money, and looked after his linen when he
-was at home, and his pets when he went away. Miss Stamford knows all the
-occurrences of her brother’s chequered life better than he does himself,
-and recollects everything, and knows all his friends, even if she never
-saw them, and can recall to him the exact relationship between the young
-man who comes to him with an introduction, and old Burton who was killed
-by his side among the Maoris; or Percival who died of the yellow fever
-at Barbadoes. She is his remembrancer, his counsellor, half his heart,
-and a good part of his mind; and indeed there is nobody among us who
-ever thinks of the one without thinking of the other. What she was doing
-with herself all those years when George was fighting on the outskirts
-of civilization, or sweltering in the tropics, none of us know, but some
-of us wonder now and then. Did nothing ever happen to Miss Stamford on
-her own account? Has all her life been only a reflection of her
-brother’s? But this is what nobody can tell.</p>
-
-<p>The next member of the family in due succession is Mrs. St. Clair, who
-is the second sister, and who has been so long a widow that she has
-forgotten that this is not the normal condition of women. I don’t think,
-for my part, that she remembers much about her husband, though he did
-exist, I have every reason to believe. Her married life was a little
-episode, but the family is all her idea of ordinary existence. That
-little sip of matrimony however has made her different from the rest. I
-cannot quite tell how. There is a tone that is more mellow; she is a
-little more&mdash;stout, if I may use such a word: her outlines are a little
-fuller, both of mind and body. Miss Stamford takes care of the house and
-the General, but Mrs. St. Clair takes care of the parish. She is the
-Rector’s lay curate, and a most efficient one. It is she who watches
-over, not only the poor, but the district visitors, and even the
-curates, whose juvenile importance she makes very light of, keeping down
-all rampant sacerdotalism. When a young man comes into a parish full of
-very fine ideas of priestly state and dignity, and fortified besides by
-all the talk in the newspapers about adoring ladies and worked slippers,
-it is hard for him to find himself confronted by a lively middle-aged
-woman who has no particular respect for him, and knows all his kind, and
-all their little ways. Mrs. St. Clair was of the greatest use to us all
-in this particular. She kept us from innovations. Our excellent Rector
-has not a very<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a>{184}</span> strong will, and how far he might have been induced to
-go in respect to vestments, or candles, or even Gregorians, it would be
-hard to say, but for Mrs. St. Clair, who kept the young men down.
-Everybody who has ever been at Dinglefield has met her about the roads,
-with her gray hair neatly braided, and her soft brown eyes smiling, yet
-seeing everything, and a basket in her hand. She always had the basket;
-and the basket, if it had been examined, would have been found always to
-contain something which was to do somebody good.</p>
-
-<p>Miss Sophy, the third sister, was much younger than the others, and she
-was one of those who are always young. Nothing had changed much with her
-since she was eighteen. She lived quite the same sort of life as she had
-done then, and wore the same kind of dresses; and felt, I believe, very
-much the same. Life had never progressed into a second chapter with her,
-and she felt no need of a second chapter. She did little commissions for
-everybody, and carried little messages, and played croquet, and went out
-to tea, and performed her little pieces on the piano with undiminished
-and undiminishing satisfaction. She was as kind, as sweet, and as
-innocent as any girl need be; and, in short, she was a girl&mdash;but of
-forty-five. The reader may think this is a sneer; but nobody ever
-thought of sneering at Miss Sophy; that malign amusement found no
-encouragement in her simplicity. You smiled at her, perhaps, then
-blushed for yourself, abashed at your own heartlessness in finding
-anything absurd in a creature so guileless and true. She had no
-particular <i>rôle</i> of her own in the family, except to be kind to
-everybody, and to do what everybody wished, as far as a merely mortal
-sister could. If there was one thing that she thought especially her
-duty and privilege, it was to look after the faith and morals of the
-other brother, who occasionally formed part of the household. He was a
-barrister, an old bachelor like the rest, who had chambers in town and
-came when he pleased to Brothers-and-Sisters. He spent the Sundays
-there, and Miss Sophy took him to church. She would have made him say
-the Collect if she could; and, indeed, always questioned him about his
-opinions, and argued with him on the Sunday afternoons upon the points
-on which he was astray. And when I add that Mr. Charles was a clever
-lawyer and a man of the world, and astray upon a great many points, it
-will be seen that Sophy had her hands full. She argued herself into
-palpitations and headaches, but I fear her arguments were less potent
-than her intention. This energetic effort to keep Charles right in
-theology was, so far as any one knew, the only duty exclusively hers.</p>
-
-<p>These delightful people were only a small part of the family to which
-they belonged. Behind them was a bodyguard of married brothers and
-sisters, a sort of milky way of family plenitude, from which arose an
-army of nephews and nieces who were always looming about, sure to come
-down upon us in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a>{185}</span> force when anything was going on. There were always men
-to be had for a dance, and actors for theatricals on application to the
-Stamfords. ‘Tell me how many you want and give me two or three days’
-notice,’ Mrs. St. Clair would say, and then Sophy would write the
-letters, and after a while the air of Dinglefield would be thick with
-nephews. There was room for an untold number of them in the old,
-many-chimneyed house. When it was the time for garden parties, or when
-there was a bazaar for some charity, it was the turn of the nieces, who
-came like the swallows, with a skimming of wings, and a chirping and
-chattering of pleasant voices. It was astonishing how soon we got to
-know them all, discriminating Sophy Humphreys from Sophy Thistlethwaite,
-and both from Sophy Stamford number one, called Soff, or Henry’s Sophy,
-to distinguish her from Sophy Stamford number two, who was called Fia,
-or William’s Sophy. Sophy was the pet name of the race; the mother’s
-name from whom they all sprang.</p>
-
-<p>And it would be difficult to give any stranger an idea of the addition
-they were to our limited society at Dinglefield. Go when you would the
-genial house was always open, a pleasant party always to be found on the
-lawn in summer, by the drawing-room fire in winter. They had their
-anxieties and sorrows like other people, no doubt; but not so many as
-other people: for the time was over with them for personal pangs and
-trouble; and when one nephew out of twenty goes a little wrong, or one
-niece (also out of twenty) makes a bad marriage, the pang is not so keen
-or so lasting as when it is a son or a daughter who has broken down. And
-this was the worst that could now befall the house. It was a house made
-for the comfort and succour of every aching heart or troubled mind
-within its range. There was nothing they would not do for their
-neighbours and friends; how much more for their relations. General
-George lent his kindly ear, a little, just a little, hard of hearing
-(but no, not hard of anything, the word is unworthy to be used in his
-connection), to every request. He would do his best to place your son,
-or invest your money; or order early salmon or turbot for you when you
-were going to have a dinner-party. I should not have liked to ask Mr.
-Charles Stamford to order my fish, but I have no doubt he too would have
-done it, had he been asked; and as for the sisters, they would, as the
-poor people said, put their hand to anything.</p>
-
-<p>One day Sophy came into my cottage with an air of some excitement to
-tell me that George had sent a telegram, and was bringing down a large
-party of his fellow-directors to dinner. ‘Will you come, dear Mrs.
-Mulgrave? Fancy! how shall we ever entertain these twelve business
-gentlemen?’ said Sophy in a flutter. ‘If only some of the girls had been
-here. Not that the girls would have cared for these old creatures. But
-the worst is that Ursula herself is away. She went up to town this
-morning to see her great friend, Mrs. Biddulph. And though<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a>{186}</span> she will be
-back for dinner, all the responsibility will be upon Frances and me. I
-must run away now this moment to James the gardener, to see how many
-strawberries he can give us. Don’t you think it was tiresome of George
-to bring down so many upon us without warning? It is just like him: no,
-he is not tiresome&mdash;never! he is a darling! But sometimes he does a
-tiresome thing.’</p>
-
-<p>And Sophy tripped away, light-footed, light-hearted, with no greater
-thought than the strawberries. She was still as slim as a girl, and
-there was about her all the eagerness and breathless mixture of fright
-and pleasure which are natural at eighteen. She <i>was</i> eighteen,
-spiritually speaking. I watched her tripping along in her light summer
-dress, and smiled; I could not help it. I saw her again three times that
-day, and, indeed, I saw Mrs. St. Clair too, who was equally full of
-business. ‘Twelve men!’ Mrs. St. Clair cried. ‘Is it not a nuisance? I
-can’t think how George could do it. They have a nice bit of villainy in
-hand; they are going to cut up all our pretty view, and take away the
-poor people’s gardens; and then they expect us to give them dinner!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Did Sophy get the strawberries?’ I asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes; more than they deserve. But you are coming, and you shall
-see.’ She went on, waving her hand, too busy to talk. A dinner of twelve
-gentlemen, when you have made no arrangements, and provided nothing but
-what was needed for the family, is a serious matter in a country place,
-especially when the real housekeeper is out of the way.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">All</span> this time Miss Stamford knew nothing of what was going on. She had
-gone up to town early in the morning, and she had spent the day with her
-friend, who was ailing; and in the afternoon she had missed the usual
-dinner train by which General George always travelled, coming by the
-next one, which was about half an hour later. She came down in the same
-carriage with a gentleman who, she afterwards admitted, attracted her
-attention at once. He was a tall man&mdash;well, not young,
-certainly&mdash;oldish, elderly, ‘about the same age as other people’&mdash;with a
-long face, like Don Quixote. She remarked him; and he remarked her,
-apparently, showing her several little politenesses: opening and
-shutting the window, &amp;c. He was very like Don Quixote. This was the
-chief remark Miss Stamford made.</p>
-
-<p>She was a little late for dinner, having been taken entirely by surprise
-by the great preparations she found on her return. She had left
-everything in the ordinary quiet, no company expected, and had ordered
-the usual dinner for the family before<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a>{187}</span> she went away; and the sight of
-Williams the greengrocer, and Jones the verger, both in grand official
-costume, on duty in her own hall when she got back, astonished her.</p>
-
-<p>‘Company, ma’am, as the General has brought home from town, unexpected,’
-Williams said, as he opened the door. Their own homely butler, Simms,
-had been promoted to the rank of major-domo for the moment, and was a
-very great personage with two men under him. Miss Stamford changed her
-dress as quickly as possible, but dinner had begun before she got
-down-stairs. Mrs. St. Clair had taken the head of the table, and Ursula
-slid quietly into the vacant place which had been left for her. She
-nodded to me across the table as she sat down. She had not even put on
-her best cap, and her gown was anything but new. And it did not seem to
-me that Ursula Stamford was by any means looking her best. She was a
-little prim in appearance, though so liberal and generous in heart; and
-she looked sixty, while to my knowledge she was only fifty-seven. You
-will say that was not a difference which mattered much; but I assure you
-we think a great deal of a year or two up here among the snows of life.
-She sat down so quietly that the gentleman on one side did not at first
-notice that the place was taken by his side, and she occupied herself
-with the other, whom she happened to know. There was a great deal of
-talk going on at the table. Mrs. St. Clair had picked up a few ladies in
-haste to make the balance a little more even. Mrs. Stokes had sent Lucy,
-who was going to be married, and Miss Woodroff had come from the
-Rectory, and Mrs. Sommerville, the young widow who was living with her
-brother, the curate. There were seven of us altogether to thirteen
-gentlemen, for, by way of making the table a little more crowded,
-Charles Stamford had thought proper to come, though it was not his day.
-And we all talked as if our lives were at stake. The younger ones were
-much amused to be on duty thus, to be called upon to take care of the
-old gentlemen, and the rest of us understood the obligation we were
-under to talk, and worked resolutely at the conversation. For my part, I
-did very well, I had quite a pleasant neighbour; and, indeed, I have
-found that a great many of the City gentlemen are very pleasant to talk
-to. He told me all about the new railway it was intended to make, and
-scarcely laughed at all when I declared myself an enemy to new
-railroads, in our neighbourhood, at least.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why should you cut up our pleasant, smiling country?’ I said. ‘We have
-all the railways we want, and more. I do not say anything against what
-is necessary; but why make gashes across the country when it is not
-wanted&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Gashes&mdash;I don’t think they are gashes,’ said my neighbour. ‘When I saw
-the white steam flying along the valley just now, I thought it very
-picturesque. I allow I do not like it too near; but Dinglefield is as
-safe as if it were in Paradise. No railway will climb your peaceable
-heights. If there was question<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a>{188}</span> however of a railway into Paradise
-itself, there is the man who would do it,’ he said, looking across the
-table. ‘I am a mere innocent myself. I do what other people tell me: but
-there is the dangerous man. I hope, for your sake, that he will give his
-word against this, for he would survey the moon if he thought it likely
-to answer.’</p>
-
-<p>I peeped between the little thickets of flowers with which Sophy had
-covered the table, and looked at the man thus pointed out to me. He was
-sitting by Ursula Stamford, but he was not talking to her&mdash;she, as I
-have said, was occupied by her other neighbour at her right hand. He was
-an old man, not far from seventy, according to appearance, with
-snow-white hair, but a beard still almost black, a combination which is
-always striking. His features were fine, his dark eyes deeply sunk under
-eyebrows still dark like his beard. There was a gentleman on the other
-side of him whom he did not seem to care to talk to, and he was sitting,
-scarcely speaking, his face in repose.</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you mean that handsome old man?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Old,’ said my companion, slightly startled; he was about the same age
-himself if I had thought of it. ‘Well, I suppose he is old,’ he added,
-with a little laugh. ‘You should talk to him. I don’t know a more
-interesting man; and, as I tell you, he is the man to whom, if there was
-a railway to be made to the moon, everybody would turn. If he took the
-Channel tunnel in hand he would carry it through.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But that must be impossible,’ said I. ‘I hate the crossing; but I would
-not trust myself in a tunnel under the sea, not for&mdash;&mdash; But you are
-laughing&mdash;it is impossible&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Impossible!&mdash;not in the very least&mdash;ask <i>him</i>. I think myself he’s too
-speculative. But there is one thing certain. If Oakley took it up, it
-would go through. He’d do it. He is a man who does not believe in
-difficulties. There might be a great catastrophe next day, but one way
-or other he’d drive it through.’</p>
-
-<p>I am a very quiet person myself, therefore it stands to reason that I
-should like a man who drives things through. Besides, he was a handsome
-old man. I looked at him again behind the flowers, while my companion
-went on talking, and I saw something which interested me. Miss Stamford
-came to a pause in her conversation with the man at her right hand, and
-she seized the opportunity to turn to the man on her left. At the first
-sound of her voice his abstract countenance lighted up. He turned
-hastily round with a look of recognition. How could he know Ursula
-Stamford, I said to myself? His face lighted up with a gleam of
-intelligence and pleasure, and something which, not knowing any other
-word, I can only call sweetness. He turned quite round to her, and began
-to talk with an interest and warmth which roused my immediate sympathy.
-I seemed to be looking on at an interesting scene in the theatre, seen
-from so great a distance that it was only the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a>{189}</span> dumb-show which made it
-intelligible. And my neighbour carried on his discourse all the time.</p>
-
-<p>‘He has sprung from nothing,’ he said. ‘I don’t know if he ever had a
-father. He began in the humblest way. The first time I heard of him was
-about thirty years ago, when he was struggling into business. He was not
-what you would call a young man then. (You ladies are hard upon age&mdash;you
-don’t like it talked about when it concerns yourselves, but you stamp us
-down as old men without a bit of fellow-feeling&mdash;&mdash;)’</p>
-
-<p>Here I interrupted my instructor. ‘I thought it was a weakness of ours
-only to dislike to be called old. I thought men were superior to such a
-little vanity&mdash;as to so many others.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are satirical now. You think we are not superior to any vanity, and
-I shouldn’t wonder if you were right. I was saying old Oakley was not a
-young man to start with. He was a sort of an engineer, self-taught, all
-self-taught, and he was trying to get into business as a contractor.
-Mrs. Mulgrave,’ said my companion solemnly, ‘have you any idea what that
-man is worth now? I thought so, as you didn’t seem impressed. He is
-worth more than a million, that is the fact&mdash;he is made of money; losses
-don’t seem to touch him. I do not suppose,’ my friend added, with awe in
-his voice, ‘that he knows how much he has.’</p>
-
-<p>This information did not excite me as he expected, but I looked again
-between the geraniums at Mr. Oakley. I am afraid his handsome head
-interested me more than his fortune. ‘And there are so many people who
-have nothing at all!’ I said; ‘but to look at him he might be a
-philosopher without a penny.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is just like you ladies&mdash;you would think more of him if he were a
-philosopher without a penny. What an extraordinary mistake!’ cried my
-companion, ‘as if money were not a power, quite as interesting and a
-great deal more tangible than philosophy.’</p>
-
-<p>His countenance flushed and changed. He was an enthusiast for money. I
-have met many such among General George’s City friends: not in the
-sordid way we think of, but really as a great power.</p>
-
-<p>When Mrs. St. Clair gave the sign to go away, I was quite sorry to break
-off this conversation, which was so much more interesting than the
-ordinary kind of talk. It was a beautiful June evening, and, instead of
-going into the drawing-room, we all went out upon the lawn where Simms
-had laid down the great lion-skin, of which they are all so proud, and
-some rugs which the General brought from India; for it is unnecessary to
-say that we elder people were a little afraid of the dew on the grass.
-But nobody could have taken cold on such a night. The borders were all
-red and white with roses standing out against the deep green of the
-shrubberies behind, and the colours seemed to repeat themselves in the
-sky, which was all one flush of rose above the blue, deepening into
-crimson as it descended, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a>{190}</span> burning like fire between the trees on the
-horizon line. Dinglefield stands high, with the broad Thames valley
-lying at its feet, of which you could get glimpses through the cuttings
-on the western side, if your eyes were not dazzled with all that blaze
-of gold. Miss Stamford was tired with her day in town, and established
-herself at once in her favourite basket-chair on the lawn. She sat there
-tranquil and happy while the rest walked about; her presence, her smile,
-the rest that seemed to breathe about her, gave stability and meaning to
-the whole place. She was only an old maid according to the vulgar, but
-you could not look at her without feeling sure that where she was, there
-was a home. I don’t know that it had ever occurred to me to think so
-much about Ursula Stamford before. There was something in the air which
-affected me, though I did not know how. We could see the lighted windows
-of the dining-room, and hear the sound of the voices and laughter,
-though at a distance; and we all laughed too in sympathy, though we did
-not know what the jokes were. It was very pleasant and friendly, and
-rather droll. None of us had any particular desire to be joined by the
-gentlemen. We had done our duty by them, talked our very best to them,
-and flattered ourselves that it had all gone off very well; but though
-we were glad they were enjoying themselves, now that our part of the
-entertainment was over, we were not very sorry to think that they must
-all go away shortly by the last train. And no heart among us, I am safe
-to say, beat one pulsation the quicker when they came out upon the lawn,
-some of them slightly flushed with the laughter and the good cheer, to
-take their coffee, and their leave. It had grown almost dark by that
-time, and the white waistcoats (for they were in their morning dress,
-and most of them wore white waistcoats) made a great show in the half
-light. The greater part of them thanked us all for the delightful
-evening, not being quite clear which were, and which were not, the
-ladies of the house, but determined to fulfil all the duties of
-politeness. We walked with them to the gate to see them go, and shook
-hands with them all, though we did not know their names. I recollect the
-whole scene as clearly as a picture, though I knew at the time no reason
-why I should remember it: the dining-room brightly lighted, the table
-with all its fruit and flowers, and the vacant chairs pushed away,
-standing in all manner of groups: the drawing-room much more dim, just
-showing a glimmer of newly-lighted candles: the table on the lawn with
-Miss Stamford’s white cap and half visible figure close to it: and all
-the rest of us standing about telling each other how well it had gone
-off, and listening to the voices of the gentlemen getting fainter and
-fainter as they streamed off behind the shrubberies along the road to
-the station. If any one had told us what changes would come from that
-visit! But how could any one have guessed the changes that were to come?</p>
-
-<p>It was not the next day, but the day after that I met General George in
-the afternoon coming from the station. It was at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a>{191}</span> least two hours before
-his usual time, and he was walking. The sight of him gave me a little
-shock. Something, I thought, must have happened. I ran over in my mind,
-as one naturally does, as I went up to him, the things that were most
-possible. There were nephews scattered about over all the world. Could
-it be that there was bad news of George Thistlethwaite in Ceylon, or
-Bertie Stamford at the Cape? or was it pleasanter intelligence from
-young Mrs. Thurston (<i>née</i> Ursula Humphreys) or Lucy Thistlethwaite, or
-one of the Lincolnshire girls? but that (I said to myself) would not be
-enough to bring the General home so much sooner than usual. When he came
-nearer however my mind became easier. He did not look unhappy, he looked
-puzzled, and now and then a gleam like laughter came over his face. When
-he saw me he came forward with an air of pleasure.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are the very person I wanted to see&mdash;if you will let me, I will
-walk home with you; but let us go the back way,’ said General George to
-my intense surprise, ‘for I don’t want to see my sisters till I have
-taken your advice.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My advice! before you see your sisters, before you tell <i>Ursula</i>!’ I
-cried, and then the General laughed and frowned, and looked angry and
-amused all in one. ‘That is just where my difficulty lies,’ he said. A
-difficulty about Ursula! it took away my breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will not believe it,’ he said, ‘but it is quite true. Charles came
-to me this morning with the absurdest question. He came to ask me who it
-was that sat next Mr. Oakley at dinner at Bonport on Tuesday&mdash;eh? what,
-did you notice anything?’ he asked abruptly, for I had not been able to
-restrain a little exclamation. I have never boasted of my penetration,
-but from that moment I seemed to know exactly what he was going to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘I know who sat next Mr. Oakley at dinner,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ursula, wasn’t it? we laid our heads together, and from all we could
-make out&mdash;he went to Charles first to find out who it was, and Charles,
-of course, made up his mind that it must have been one of the young
-ladies that had made such an impression. He proposed first Miss Woodroff
-and then the young widow: but no, no. Oakley said it was not a young
-lady. It was a lady whose hair was turning gray, who wore a cap, and
-used a double eye-glass. At last the conviction forced itself upon me.
-By Jove! it was Ursula&mdash;<i>Ursula</i> the man was thinking of! We both burst
-out laughing in his face&mdash;&mdash; But afterwards,’ the General added gloomily
-with a flush of displeasure, ‘afterwards&mdash;I feel furious, Mrs. Mulgrave,
-though I may not show it; and that is why I have come first to you.</p>
-
-<p>‘What did he want?’ I said, though I allow there was some hypocrisy in
-my question.</p>
-
-<p>‘What did he want?&mdash;you may well ask. He is a man of sixty-five, older
-than I am. He wants&mdash;to marry my sister,’ said the General, with a half
-suppressed outcry of rage&mdash;‘a man <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a>{192}</span>who has risen from the ranks&mdash;a
-stranger&mdash;a&mdash;a confounded&mdash;&mdash; I beg you ten thousand pardons, Mrs.
-Mulgrave; he wants to pay his addresses, if you please, to Ursula! God
-bless us all&mdash;did you ever hear such a thing? I feel much more like
-cursing than blessing, to tell the truth.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, General, he is very rich&mdash;richer than any one ever was before.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, you have got bitten too,’ he said, with a tone almost of disgust.
-‘That is what Charles says; but what is his money to me? What is it to
-any of us, Mrs. Mulgrave? You would not upset all the order of your life
-and change your habits, and give up your own ways for a million of
-money, would you? After all, when you have enough to be comfortable,
-what does money matter? Even the most extravagant of women can’t put
-more than a certain number of yards of stuff into her dress. When you
-have enough, what does it matter whether the over-plus is counted by
-hundreds or by thousands?’ said the General, with magnanimous but
-new-born indifference. If he cared so little about it, why should he go
-to the City every day, I could not help saying to myself; and, indeed,
-it came to my lips before I knew.</p>
-
-<p>‘If we all thought that,’ I said, ‘it would save a great deal of
-trouble. Perhaps you would not then have had these twelve gentlemen down
-to dinner and made all the mischief, General.’</p>
-
-<p>General George laughed. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t,’ he said, ‘but that is
-different. It is not for the money, but the occupation, Mrs. Mulgrave;
-and of course when one has money invested one wants to make something by
-it. However my opinion is that it would be much better to say nothing
-about this folly to Ursula. To be sure,’ he added with a look of
-half-defiant assurance which he belied by a suspicious glance of inquiry
-at me,’ it might amuse her; but it could have no other effect. I don’t
-see why I should take any notice to Ursula.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But Mr. Oakley&mdash;will he be satisfied?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Old Oakley? Upon my word, I don’t see why I should consider him or what
-will satisfy him,’ said the General, growing red; but he was uneasy. He
-paused, then turned to me again. ‘If you were in my position, what
-should you do?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should tell her, and let her judge; after all, it is she who must
-decide.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Decide&mdash;judge! you speak,’ cried General George, ‘as if it were
-possible&mdash;as if it might be within the bounds of&mdash;&mdash; Bah! do you suppose
-that Ursula&mdash;<i>Ursula!</i> my sister&mdash;would, could hesitate one moment?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No.’ I said ‘no,’ half because I really thought so, but half because he
-was so much excited, and it was necessary to calm him. ‘I do not suppose
-she would; but still, a woman should be told when a man&mdash;&mdash; It is the
-greatest compliment he can pay her, and it is always flattering even
-when it is impossible!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Flattering&mdash;a compliment! What can you be thinking of?’ the General
-cried in high disdain; ‘that an old fellow like that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a>{193}</span> should propose to
-appropriate and take possession of&mdash;a lady! I don’t say my sister, which
-of course is the sting of it,’ he said with a laugh, calming down again,
-‘but any lady&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Dear General, forgive me,’ I said; ‘you always talk, you gentlemen, of
-marriage as the end of every woman’s ambition, and you are always ready
-to jibe at those who have not attained that great end. Then how, when
-this elevation is in her power, do you venture to think of keeping her
-in ignorance of it?’</p>
-
-<p>He turned round upon me almost with violence. ‘Elevation!’ he cried;
-then perceiving, I suppose, by something in my eyes what I meant,
-laughed more uneasily than ever. ‘Come,’ he said, ‘we may say silly
-things, I allow we all say silly things; but when you come to that&mdash;to
-speak of elevation for my sister from any offer, or that she should
-think it a compliment!&mdash;God bless us all!&mdash;there are a great many
-foolish things that one says, but you know better than to take it all
-for gospel. Of course when one speaks of women one does not think of&mdash;&mdash;
-By Jove, I am only getting deeper. Don’t hit a man when he is down, but
-be serious, and give me your advice.’</p>
-
-<p>‘One does not think of one’s own sisters,’ said I, for I did not mean to
-spare him, ‘only of other people’s sisters, or of those who have nobody
-to stand up for them; but I will not be ungenerous, General I will give
-you my advice. Tell Ursula, and let her judge for herself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Judge!&mdash;she can have but one opinion. But that is what Charlie says. I
-suppose the two of you must be right,’ said the General grudgingly. He
-walked on by my side in silence, cutting down the weeds by the roadside
-ferociously with his stick; then repeated with a still more churlish
-assent, ‘I suppose what you two people of the world say must be right.’</p>
-
-<p>I smiled within myself to be called a woman of the world; but one must
-not take the words of an angry man to heart. When he came to the turn of
-the road which led to Brothers-and-Sisters he muttered something about
-getting it over, and took off his hat and left me without another word.
-Poor General George! Under all his pretences at anger he was in a great
-fright. Either he believed his own careless talk, and thought that a
-husband was too fine a thing for any woman to refuse, or else&mdash;&mdash; But I
-need not discuss the vague feeling of insecurity which had begun to
-creep over him. For my part, I did not feel alarmed. I had more
-confidence in Ursula’s faithfulness than he had. At the same time, the
-crisis was exciting, and I thought the time very long until the evening
-began to darken, and I felt myself at liberty&mdash;dinner being over&mdash;to run
-over the corner of the Green which lay between us, as I often did in the
-evening, and see what Ursula said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a>{194}</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> family party was on the lawn as usual; Miss Stamford seated in her
-own chair with her knitting and her feet upon the lion-skin; while Mrs.
-St. Clair beside her, with a basket full of bright scraps, had been
-dressing dolls for a bazaar. Sophy was cutting off the withered roses
-with a large pair of garden scissors; all their occupations were quite
-as usual. But there was an aspect about the family which was not usual.
-In the distance the General’s step was audible pacing about; and there
-was an odour of his cigar in the air; all as peaceful, as homelike as it
-always was; but yet a something in the atmosphere which had not been
-there yesterday. As I came up with my shawl over my head, the General
-tossed his cigar away and came nearer, and Sophia put down the basket
-with the dead roses, and Mrs. St. Clair got up to get me a chair. The
-only one that had not changed in the least was Ursula, who raised her
-head and her eyes and gave me a friendly nod as she always did. She went
-on with her knitting without any intermission. It is work which does not
-demand attention, nor so much light as doll-dressing. They were all very
-glad to see me&mdash;more glad even than on ordinary occasions: for it was
-clear that the situation was highly <i>tendu</i>, as the French say, and that
-a new-comer was a relief.</p>
-
-<p>‘What a beautiful evening!’ we all said together, and then stopped
-abashed, as people do who have rushed into the same commonplace speech.</p>
-
-<p>Then Ursula added, ‘Of course, that is the first thing we must say to
-each other. I think there never was such a summer&mdash;so bright, so steady,
-one fine day after another. Here is a fortnight, or nearly so, that we
-have not had one drop of rain.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Quite wonderful,’ said I. ‘The hay, I hear, is a sight to see. A day or
-two more, and we shall all begin to pray for rain. We are never content
-whatever we have.’</p>
-
-<p>‘A little variety is always pleasant,’ Mrs. St. Clair said. Meanwhile,
-while we talked about the weather, the General hung about over our
-little group like a storm-cloud. He did not say anything, but he looked
-tempestuous; he, who was always so calm. Presently he turned away, and
-went off to say something to Simms, who appeared just then with a note
-or a message.</p>
-
-<p>‘I suppose,’ said Mrs. St. Clair, turning to me, ‘<i>you</i> know all about
-it. George told us that he had met you, and told you&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, he told me;’ but I did not know what to say; they all wore a look
-of agitation, except Ursula, who was as calm as usual&mdash;more calm than
-usual, I should have said; but, no doubt, that was only in comparison
-with the agitation of the rest.</p>
-
-<p>‘And I suppose you think like the rest, that I will jump at a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a>{195}</span> husband
-the moment one is offered to me,’ said Miss Stamford with a smile.</p>
-
-<p>‘We don’t think so, Ursula. We know it is not the first time. It is only
-George that is so frightened, poor fellow.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why should he be so frightened?’ Miss Stamford cried. ‘No; it is not
-the first time. I may take that little credit to myself. I might have my
-head turned, perhaps, if it had been the first time. But, after all, it
-is not so much to brag of. I suppose he wants somebody to take care of
-him when he gets old and feeble; but he ought to have somebody younger
-than me.’</p>
-
-<p>Sixty-five is not what you would call young; but it was odd how we all
-were of opinion that Mr. Oakley’s time for being old and feeble was
-still a good way off, a thing to come. I acknowledged that I shared this
-weakness. We were all about the same age, and it did not occur to us
-that we were already old.</p>
-
-<p>‘He shows his sense,’ said I, taking the part of the absent to whom
-nobody did any justice, ‘as well as his good taste. Poor man, though he
-is so rich, I am very sorry for him. I wish Ursula had met him twenty
-years ago when there would have been no harm&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘No harm! do you know that he is a nobody&mdash;a man self-made?’ said Mrs.
-St. Clair; ‘not a match for Ursula Stamford if he had been ever so
-young!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you did not think of that in Fia’s case,’ said Sophy; ‘he was rich
-and you never said a word. You thought it quite reasonable. ‘What do his
-grandfathers matter to us?’ you said. I am not sure myself whether it
-does or not; but you said so, you know; and George proposed the bride
-and bridegroom at the wedding, and everybody was pleased. Now this Mr.
-Oakley is a very nice man, whatever you say, for I had a good deal of
-talk with him myself; and if Ursula chose&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You should not interfere,’ said Mrs. St. Clair; ‘you are always
-sentimental. Of course, if there is so much as a thought of a marriage,
-Sophy is always in favour of it; but to think of Ursula at her time of
-life!’</p>
-
-<p>‘You all talk very much at your ease about Ursula,’ said Miss Stamford.
-‘I suppose Ursula may have a word, a little share in it, for herself.
-The way my family consult over me’&mdash;she said, turning to me with a
-slight blush and laugh. ‘I think George might have held his tongue; that
-would have been the more satisfactory way.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was my fault,’ I cried hurriedly: ‘he told me that he thought it
-would be best not to tell you. You must forgive me, Ursula, if I gave
-him bad advice; I thought you ought to know.’</p>
-
-<p>Before I had half said this, I saw I had made a mistake; but one must
-finish one’s sentence, however foolish it may be. Ursula suspended her
-knitting for a moment and looked at me with calm amazement.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not tell <i>me</i>!’ she said. ‘Why should he have kept it from <i>me</i>?’</p>
-
-<p>The emphasis was very slight, but it meant a great deal. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a>{196}</span> never
-occurred to her that a thing which concerned her so closely should have
-been kept from herself; the question was why should we know; and I
-confess I felt very much ashamed of having any say in it, when I met the
-calm, astonished look of her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is getting a little chilly,’ she said, rising up. ‘I think it is
-time to go indoors.’</p>
-
-<p>We all followed her quite humbly, and the General came stalking after
-us, more like a thunder-cloud than ever. He had been talking to poor
-Simms in a voice which was not pleasant, and he appeared at the
-drawings-room window by which we all entered with the large lion-skin in
-his arms.</p>
-
-<p>‘I can’t have this left out all night in those heavy dews,’ he said. I
-do not think I ever saw those signs of suppressed irritation, which are
-too common in families, among the Stamfords before.</p>
-
-<p>Next morning General George came in for a moment before I had
-breakfasted, to tell me for my satisfaction that all was right. His face
-was quite clear again. ‘I was a little cross last night. I fear you may
-have supposed that I for a moment doubted my sister. Not a moment, Mrs.
-Mulgrave. I have got to give him his answer, poor old fellow. I can’t
-help feeling a little sorry for him all the same. What bad luck for the
-poor old beggar! Of all the women there to hit upon the one who was
-simply hopeless! Some men always have that sort of fate.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He showed his taste,’ said I; ‘but I heard he was the luckiest man in
-the world, General; that he always succeeded in everything; that however
-wild the project was, he was the man to carry it through.’</p>
-
-<p>I said this partly in malice, I am bound to admit, and I was very
-successful. The General’s face clouded over again: he set his teeth. ‘He
-shall not succeed this time;’ and he said something more in his
-moustache, some stronger words which I was not intended to hear. It was
-all over then, this odd little episode. I stood and watched him from my
-door half relieved, half wondering. Was it all over? I did not feel so
-satisfied or so certain as General George.</p>
-
-<p>A few days of perfect quiet ensued. When a week passed we all felt
-really satisfied. It was over then? Mr. Oakley had accepted his refusal.
-To be sure one did not see what else he could have done, though I
-confess that I had not expected it for my part. However, on the Sunday
-morning the moment I looked across to the Stamfords’ pew after getting
-settled in my own, it seemed to me that I could see indications of a new
-event. Both Mrs. St. Clair and Sophy were looking at me when I raised my
-head; they could not restrain themselves. They gave me anxious,
-significant glances with little hardly perceptible signs of the head and
-hand. When the service was over, and we were going out, Sophy was at my
-side in a moment. We were not actually out of church when I felt her arm
-slide into mine and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a>{197}</span> a whisper in my ear. ‘She has got a letter!’ Sophy
-said, all in a tremble of eagerness. Mrs. St. Clair came up on the other
-side as soon as we were clear of the stream of people. ‘It is getting
-really serious,’ she said; ‘he will not take a refusal. It is quite
-absurd, and George is dreadfully angry. <i>He</i> is just as absurd on the
-other side.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And what does Ursula say?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Ursula does not say anything. Of course we could not help knowing
-about the letter. It was very long and very much in earnest&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, quite impassioned!’ cried Sophy. She had not encountered anything
-so exciting for years. She was pale with interest and emotion, shaking
-her head in intense seriousness. ‘He says that he appeals to her sense
-of justice not to condemn him without a hearing. It is quite beautiful.
-I am sure he is a nice man.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And then, you know, there is the other side of the question,’ said Mrs.
-St. Clair seriously. ‘I did not quite understand when we spoke of it
-last. Charlie says he is immensely rich&mdash;not just ordinarily comfortable
-like so many people, but a true millionnaire. That changes the aspect of
-the matter a little, don’t you think? Not that I am a mercenary person,
-still less Ursula; but when you come to think of it, wealth to that
-extent is something to be considered. Just fancy the good she might do,’
-cried the sensible sister, ‘and the number of young people we have
-looking to us! I do think it is not exactly right to ignore that side of
-the question.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Charlie thinks it is quite wrong,’ said Sophy, shaking her head.</p>
-
-<p>The General had not even stopped to say ‘Good morning’ outside the
-church door as he usually did. It was his brother Charles who was with
-Ursula. The General walked straight home, without looking to the right
-hand or the left. I felt a great sympathy for him. It was he that would
-feel it most <i>if anything happened</i>; and he was the only one of the
-family who had that fantastic delicacy of sentiment which some of us
-feel for those we love, so that the merest touch of anything that could
-be called ridicule, seemed sacrilege and desecration to him.</p>
-
-<p>I must not attempt to go in detail into all that followed. Miss Stamford
-wrote a very beautiful letter (they all told me) to her antiquated
-lover, telling him how sorry she was to be the cause of any annoyance to
-him, and hoping that the vexation would be but temporary, as indeed she
-felt sure it must be&mdash;but that his proposals were quite out of the
-question. This, of course, was what every woman would have said in the
-circumstances. But neither did Mr. Oakley take this for an answer. There
-was another letter by return of post in which they said he implored her
-to believe that nothing about the matter was temporary&mdash;that it was a
-question of life and death to him; that now was his only chance of
-happiness. Happiness! for a man of sixty-five! For my part I could not
-help laughing, but it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a>{198}</span> was no laughing matter for the household at
-Brothers-and-Sisters. A few days after this I met Mr. Oakley himself on
-his way to the house. He recognized me at once, but naturally he did not
-know who I was. He took me for one of the family, and came up to me
-carrying his hat in his hand. He was a very handsome old man. His hair
-was snow-white, a mass of it rising up in waves from his forehead, with
-eyebrows still black and strongly marked, and the finest brilliant dark
-eyes. I said to myself mentally: ‘If it had been I, I should have given
-in at once.’ And his manners were beautiful&mdash;not the manners of
-society&mdash;the deferential respect of a man who knows women chiefly
-through books, and does not understand the free and easy modern way of
-treating us. He kept his hat in his hand as he stood and spoke. ‘I do
-not know,’ he said, ‘if I have the honour of speaking to a sister of
-Miss Stamford’s, but I know I met you there.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Not a sister, but a very affectionate friend,’ I said. His face lighted
-up instantly; he almost loved me for saying so. ‘Then if that is the
-case we ought to be friends too,’ he said. I was so much interested that
-I turned and walked with him, regardless of prudence. What would the
-Stamfords say if they saw me thus identifying myself with the cause of
-their assailant? but the interest of this strange little romance carried
-me away.</p>
-
-<p>‘I must see her,’ he said. ‘Don’t you think I have a right to see her?
-They need not surely grudge me one opportunity of pleading my own cause.
-No, indeed, I don’t blame them. If I had such a treasure&mdash;nay,’ he went
-on with a smile, ‘<i>when</i> I have that treasure, I will guard it from
-every wind that blows. I don’t wonder at their precautions. But Stamford
-does not treat me with generosity; he does not trust to my honour: that
-is why I adopt his own tactics. I must try to effect an entrance while
-he is away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think Ursula will have you, Mr. Oakley,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps not; but that remains to be seen. She has never seen me&mdash;that
-is, she has never seen the real John Oakley, only a director of her
-brother’s company, two different persons, Mrs. Mulgrave, if you will
-allow me to say so.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But she saw you before she knew you were a director. She travelled with
-you. You were the gentleman like Don Quixote&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>How foolish I was! Of course I ought not to have said it. I felt that
-before the words were out of my mouth. Such encouragement as this was
-enough to counterbalance any number of severities. ‘Ah! I am like Don
-Quixote, am I?’ he said; and once more, and more brightly than ever, his
-handsome old face blazed into the brightest expression. Poor Mr. Oakley!
-I threw myself heart and soul into his faction after this; for indeed,
-as I afterwards heard, he had not at all a pleasant ‘time,’ as the
-Americans say, that afternoon. When he sent in his name at
-Brothers-and-Sisters he was told that the ladies<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a>{199}</span> were out, and, though
-he waited, all that he managed to obtain was a hurried interview with
-Mrs. St. Clair, who conveyed to him Ursula’s entreaty that he would
-accept her answer as final, and not ask to see her. Sophy told me after
-(she must have hidden herself somewhere, for nobody but Frances was
-supposed to be present) that his behaviour was beautiful. He bowed to
-the ground, she said, and declared that no one could be so much
-interested as he was in observing Miss Stamford’s slightest wish; that
-he would not for the world intrude upon her, but wait her pleasure
-another time. Mrs. St. Clair’s heart softened too, and she did not
-protest, as perhaps she ought to have done, against this ‘other time.’
-He passed by my cottage as he went away, and I do not deny that I was in
-my little garden looking out, ‘I have had no luck,’ he said, shaking his
-head, but still with a smile, ‘no luck to-day; but another time I shall
-succeed better.’</p>
-
-<p>I ran to the gate, I felt so much interested. ‘Do you really think, Mr.
-Oakley,’ I said, ‘that it is worth your while to persevere?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Worth my while?’ he said; ‘certainly it is worth my while: for I am in
-no hurry. I can bide my time.’</p>
-
-<p>Bide his time at sixty-five! I stood and looked at him as long as he was
-in sight. There is nothing like courage for securing the sympathy of the
-bystanders.</p>
-
-<p>After this the excitement ran very high both in the house of the
-Stamfords and in the community in general. We all took sides: and while
-General George made himself more and more disagreeable, and we all
-watched and spied her every action, Ursula was subjected all the time to
-a ceaseless assault from the other side. Letters poured upon her;
-beautiful baskets of flowers arrived suddenly, secretly, so that no one
-knew how they came. After a while, when the autumn commenced, there came
-hampers of game and of fruit, all in the same anonymous, magnificent
-way. And then the clever old man found out a still more effectual way of
-siege. The Stamfords had always nephews who wanted appointments or who
-required to be pushed. For instance, there was young Charley, of the
-Inner Temple, sadly in want of a brief: when lo! all at once, briefs
-began to tumble down from heaven upon the young man. In a week he had
-more business than he knew what to do with. And Willie Thistlethwaite
-had a living offered to him; and Cecil, whom they were so anxious to
-place with an engineer, though the premium was so serious a matter,
-suddenly found a place open to him with no premium at all. I believe in
-my heart that it was Mr. Charles Stamford who helped the old lover to
-recommend himself in this effectual, quiet way; for how should he have
-found out all the nephews without help? But as one of these mysterious
-benefits after another happened to the distant members of the family,
-the feeling rose stronger and stronger among all their friends. We set
-down everything, from the flowers to the living, unhesitatingly to Mr.
-Oakley;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a>{200}</span> and at last public sentiment on the Green got to such a pitch
-that whereas people had laughed at the whole matter at first as little
-more than a joke, everybody now grew indignant, and protested that
-Ursula Stamford ought to be cut and sent to Coventry if she did not
-marry Don Quixote. I don’t know who had betrayed this description which
-she had herself given of him. But everybody now called him Don Quixote,
-and the whole community took his cause to heart. While this feeling rose
-outside, a wave of the same sentiment, but still more powerful, got up
-within. Mr. Charles spoke out and declared (as, indeed, he had done from
-the first) that to neglect such an opportunity of strengthening the
-family influence would be a mere flying in the face of Providence; and
-then something still more extraordinary happened. Frances herself&mdash;who
-looked upon all married ladies in the light of prospective widows, and
-regarded the one state only as a preparation for the other&mdash;Frances
-herself suddenly threw off her allegiance to the General and went over
-boldly to the other side. Sophy had been Mr. Oakley’s champion all
-along. They began to turn upon Ursula, to accuse her of behaving badly
-to her unwearied suitor&mdash;they accused her of playing fast and loose, of
-amusing herself with his devotion. They raised a family outcry against
-her, and brought down all the married sisters and the distant brothers
-upon her, with a storm of disapproving letters. ‘The man that has
-provided for my Cecil,’ one indignant lady wrote, ‘surely, <i>surely</i>,
-deserves better at <i>my</i> sister’s hands;’ and ‘I really think, my dear
-Ursula, that any petty objections of your own should yield before the
-evident advantage to the family,’ was what the eldest brother of all,
-the father of the young barrister, said. On the other side, with gloom
-on his face, and a sneer upon his lip (where it was so completely out of
-place), and a bitter jibe now and then about the falsity and weakness of
-women, General George stood all alone, and kept a jealous watch upon
-her. His love for his favourite sister seemed to have turned to gall. He
-would have none of her usual services; he no longer consulted her about
-anything&mdash;no longer told her what he was going to do. It is to be
-supposed that by this cruel method the General intended to prove to his
-sister how much kinder and better a master he was than any other she
-could aspire to; but if this was the case, he took a very curious way of
-showing his superiority. And Ursula stood between these two parties, her
-home and her life becoming more and more unbearable every day.</p>
-
-<p>At last she took a sudden resolution. Sophy ran over to tell me of it
-late one September evening. There were tears in Sophy’s eyes, and she
-was full of awe. ‘Ursula has made up her mind, she said, almost below
-her breath. ‘It is all over, Mrs. Mulgrave. She has written him a
-<i>terrible</i> letter&mdash;it is quite beautiful, but it is something terrible
-at the same time; and she is going off <i>abroad</i> to-morrow. She says she
-cannot bear it any longer; she says we are killing her. She says she
-must<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a>{201}</span> make an end of it, and that she will go away. Poor Mr. Oakley!’
-Sophy said, and cried. As for me, I also felt deeply impressed and a
-little awe-stricken, but I had a lingering faith in Don Quixote
-notwithstanding all.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> had been very little time left for preparations, and hardly any
-one, Sophy told me, was aware they were going away. Except myself, no
-one of the neighbours knew. All the arrangements were hastily made.
-Ursula wanted to be gone if possible before Mr. Oakley could take any
-further step. I went over early next morning to see if I could be of any
-use. Ursula was in her room, doing her packing. To see her in her old
-black silk with her simple little cap covering her gray hair, and to
-think she was being driven from her home by the importunities of a
-too-ardent lover, struck me as more ridiculous than it had ever done
-before. She saw it herself, and laughed as she stood for a moment before
-the long glass, in which she had caught a glimpse of herself.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am a pretty sort of figure for all this nonsense,’ she said,
-permitting herself for the first time an honest laugh on the subject;
-but then her face clouded once more. ‘The truth is,’ she said, ‘it would
-all be mere nonsense, but for George. It is he that takes it so much to
-heart.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed,’ said I. ‘I think it is not at all nice of the General; and I
-don’t think it would be nonsense in any case. There is some one else I
-acknowledge, Ursula, that I think of more than the General.’</p>
-
-<p>She did not say anything more. Her face paled, then grew red again, and
-she went on with her packing. It is needless to say that I was of no
-manner of use. I got rid of a little of my own excitement by going, that
-was all. I went again in the evening to see the last of them. It was a
-lovely September evening. There had been a wonderfully fine sunset, and
-the whole horizon was still flaming, the trees standing out almost black
-in their deep greenness, though touched with points of yellow, against
-the broad lines of crimson and wide openings of wistful green blueness
-in the sky. The days were already growing short. There is no time of the
-year at which one gets so much good of the sunset. As I went across the
-corner of the Green the gables and irregular chimneys of the old house
-stood up among the heavy foliage against the lower band of colour where
-the green and blue died into yellow the ‘daffodil sky’ of the poet. They
-too looked black against that light, and there was a wistful look, I
-thought, about the whole place, protesting dumbly against its
-abandonment. Why should people go away from such a pleasant and peaceful
-place to wander over the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a>{202}</span> world? There was a solitary blackbird singing
-clear and loud, filling the whole air with his song. I wonder if that
-song is really much less beautiful than the nightingale’s. I was
-thinking how blank and cold the house would be when they were all gone.
-The chimneys and gables already looked so cold, smokeless, fireless,
-appealing against the glare of the summer, which carried away the
-dwellers inside, and extinguished the cheerful fire of home. As I went
-in I saw the fly from the ‘Barleymow’ creeping along towards the house
-to carry the luggage to the station. The old white horse came along
-quite reluctantly, as if he did not like the errand. I suppose all that
-his slow pace meant was that he had gone through a long day’s work, and
-was tired; but it is so natural to convey a little of one’s own feelings
-to everything, even the chimneys of the old house. There was nobody
-down-stairs when I went in. Simms told me in a dolorous tone that Miss
-Stamford was putting on her bonnet.</p>
-
-<p>‘And I don’t like it, ma’am&mdash;I don’t like it&mdash;going away like this, just
-when the country’s at its nicest. If it was the General for his bit of
-sport, his shooting, or that, I wouldn’t mind,’ said Simms; ‘but what
-call have the ladies got away from home? They’ll go a-catching fevers or
-something, see if they don’t. It’s tempting Providence.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope not, Simms,’ said I; but Simms took no comfort from my hoping.
-He shook his head and he uttered a groan as he set a chair for me in the
-centre of the drawing-room. No more cosy corners, the man seemed to
-say&mdash;no more low seats and pleasant talk&mdash;an uncompromising chair in the
-middle of the room, and a business object. These were all of which the
-old drawing-room would be capable when the ladies were away. I set down
-Simms along with the house itself, protesting with all its chimneys, and
-the old white horse lumbering reluctantly along to fetch the luggage,
-and the blackbird remonstrating loudly among the trees. They were all
-opposed to Ursula’s departure, and so was I.</p>
-
-<p>The door opened, and Sophy came in more despondent than all of these
-sundry personages and things put together. ‘They are rather late&mdash;the
-boxes are just being put on to the fly. Will you come out here and bid
-her good-bye?’ said Sophy, who was limp with crying. I never could tell
-whether it was imagination or a real quickening of my senses, but at
-that moment, as I rose to follow Sophy, I heard as clearly as I ever
-heard it in my life the galloping of horses on the dry, dusty summer
-road. I heard it as distinctly as I hear now the soft dropping of the
-rain, a sound as different as possible from all the other sounds I had
-been hearing&mdash;horses galloping at their very best, a whip cracking, the
-sound of a frantic energy of haste. Then I went out into the hall,
-following Sophy. It must have been imagination, for with all these lawns
-and shrubberies round, one could not, you may well believe, hear passing
-carriages like that. Ursula was standing at the foot of the stairs in
-her travelling dress. It<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a>{203}</span> was a large, long hall, more oblong than
-square, into which all the rooms opened; the drawing-room was opposite
-the outer door, and the General’s room (the library as it was called)
-was further back nearer the stairs. He was inside, but the door was
-open. Ursula stood outside talking to the cook, who was to be a kind of
-housekeeper while they were away. ‘Don’t trouble Miss Sophy except when
-you are perplexed yourself. On ordinary occasions you will do quite
-nicely, I am sure; you will do everything that is wanted,’ she was
-saying in her kind, cheerful voice, for Ursula did not show any
-appearance of regret, though all of us who were staying behind were
-melancholy. The men were hoisting up the trunks with which the hall was
-encumbered on the top of the fly, which was visible with its old white
-horse standing tired and pensive at the open door. And Mrs. St. Clair
-appeared behind her sister, slowly coming down-stairs with a cloak over
-her arm and a bag in her hand. There was nothing left but to say
-good-bye and wish them a good journey and a speedy return.</p>
-
-<p>But all at once in a moment there was a change. The horses I had been
-dreaming of, or had heard in a dream, drew up with a whirlwind of sound
-at the gate. Then something darted across the unencumbered light beyond
-the fly and came between the old white horse and the door. I think
-he&mdash;for to use any neutral expressions about <i>him</i> from the first moment
-at which he showed himself would be impossible&mdash;I think he lifted his
-hand to the men who were putting up the trunks to arrest them; at all
-events they stopped and scratched their heads and opened their mouths,
-and stood staring at him, as did Sophy and I, altogether confounded, yet
-with sudden elation in our hearts. He stepped past us all as lightly as
-any young paladin of twenty, taking off his hat. His white hair seemed
-all in a moment to light up everything, to quicken the place. Ursula was
-the last to see him. She was still talking quite calmly to the cook,
-though even Mrs. St. Clair on the stairs had seen the new incident, and
-had dropped her cloak in amazement. He went straight up to her, without
-a pause, without drawing breath. I am sure we all held ours in
-spellbound anxiety and attention. When Ursula saw him standing by her
-side she started as if she had been shot&mdash;she made a hasty step back and
-looked at him, catching her breath too with sudden alarm. But he had the
-air of perfect self-command.</p>
-
-<p>‘Miss Stamford,’ he said, ‘will you grant me half an hour’s interview
-before you go?’</p>
-
-<p>For the first time Ursula lost her self-possession; she fluttered and
-trembled like a girl, and could not speak for a moment. Then she
-stammered out, ‘I hope you will excuse me. We shall be&mdash;late for the
-train.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Half an hour?’ he said; ‘I only ask half an hour&mdash;only hear me, Miss
-Stamford, hear what I have got to say. I will not detain you more than
-half an hour.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a>{204}</span></p>
-
-<p>Ursula looked round her helplessly. Whether she saw us standing gazing
-at her I cannot tell, or if she was conscious that the General behind
-her had come out to the door, and was standing there petrified, staring
-like the rest of us. She looked round vaguely, as if asking aid from the
-world in general. And whether her impetuous old lover took her hand and
-drew it within his arm, or if she accepted his arm, I cannot say. But
-the next thing of which we were aware was that they passed us, the two
-together, arm in arm, into the drawing-room. He had noted the open door
-with his quick eye, and there he led her trembling past us. Next moment
-it closed upon the momentous interview, and the chief actors in this
-strange scene disappeared. We were left all gazing at each other&mdash;Sophy
-and I at one side of the hall, Mrs. St. Clair on the stairs, where she
-stood as if turned to stone, her cloak fallen from her arm; and the
-General at the door of his room with a face like a thunder-cloud, black
-and terrible. We stared at each other speechless, the central object at
-which we had all been gazing withdrawn suddenly from us. There were some
-servants also of the party, Simms standing over Miss Stamford’s box, the
-address of which he affected to be scanning, and the cabman scratching
-his head. We all looked at each other with ludicrous, blank faces. It
-was the General who was the first to speak. He took no notice of us. He
-stepped out from his door into the middle of the hall, and pointed
-imperiously to the box. ‘Take all that folly away,’ he said harshly, and
-with another long step strode out of the house and disappeared.</p>
-
-<p>He did not come back till late that night, when all thoughts of the
-train had long departed from everybody’s head. Before that time need I
-say it was all settled? I had always been doubtful myself about Ursula.
-She had been afraid of making a joke of herself by a late marriage. She
-had shrunk, perhaps, too, at her time of life, from all the novelty and
-the change; but even at fifty-seven a woman retains her imagination, and
-it had been captivated in spite of herself by the bit of strange romance
-thus oddly introduced into her life. Is any one ever old enough to be
-insensible to the pleasure of being singled out and pursued with
-something that looked like real passion? I do not suppose so; Ursula had
-been alarmed by the softening of her own feelings; she had been
-remorseful and conscience-stricken about her secret treachery to her
-brother. In short, I had felt all along that she must have had very
-little confidence in herself when she was driven to the expedient of
-running away.</p>
-
-<p>They would not let me go, though I felt myself out of place at such a
-moment, so that I had my share in the excitement as I had in the
-suspense. And after all the struggle and the suspense it is
-inconceivable how easy and natural the settlement of the matter seemed,
-and what a relief it was that it should be decided.</p>
-
-<p>As soon as the first commotion was over Mrs. Douglas came<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a>{205}</span> to me, took
-my hands in hers, and led me out by the open window. ‘George!’ she said
-to me with a little gasp. ‘What shall we do about George? How will <i>he</i>
-take it? And if he comes in upon us all without any preparation, what
-will happen? I don’t know what to do.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He must know what has happened,’ said I; ‘he saw there was only one
-thing that could happen. He must know what he has to expect.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. St. Clair clasped her hands together. What with the excitement and
-the pleasure and the pain the tears stood in her eyes. ‘Ursula was
-always his favourite sister,’ she said; ‘how will he take it? and where
-is he?&mdash;wandering about, making himself wretched this melancholy night.’</p>
-
-<p>It was not in reality a melancholy night. It was dark, and the colour
-had gone out of the sky, which looked of a deep wintry blue between the
-black tree-tops which swayed in the wind. Mrs. St. Clair shivered a
-little, partly from the contrast with the bright room inside, partly
-from anxiety. ‘Where can he be?&mdash;where can he be wandering?’ she said.
-We had both the same idea&mdash;that he must have gone into the woods and be
-wandering about there in wild resentment and distress. ‘And we must not
-stay out here or Mr. Oakley will think something is wrong, and Ursula
-will be unhappy,’ she said with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>It was then I proposed that I should stay outside to break the news to
-the General when he appeared&mdash;a proposal which, after a while, Mrs.
-Douglas was compelled to accept, though she protested&mdash;for after all, my
-absence would not be remarked, and it was easy to say that I had gone
-home, as I meant to do. But I cannot say that the post was a pleasant
-one. I walked about for some time in front of the house, and then I came
-and sat down in the porch ‘for company.’ There was nothing, as I have
-said, specially melancholy about the night, but the contrast of the
-scene within and this without struck the imagination. When a door opened
-the voices within came with a kind of triumph into the darkness where
-the disappointed and solitary brother was wandering: and so absorbed was
-I in thoughts of General George and his downfall that I almost missed
-the subject of them, who came suddenly round the corner of the house
-when I was not looking for him. It was he who perceived me, rather than
-I who was on the watch for him. ‘You here, Mrs. Mulgrave!’ he said in
-amazement. I believe he thought, as I started to my feet, that I had
-been asleep.</p>
-
-<p>‘General!’ I cried then in my confusion. ‘Stop here a moment, do not go
-in. I have something to say to you.’</p>
-
-<p>He laughed&mdash;which was a sound so unexpected that it bewildered me. ‘My
-kind friend,’ he said, ‘have you stayed here to break the news to me?
-But it is unnecessary&mdash;from the moment I saw Oakley arrive I knew how it
-must be. Ursula has been going&mdash;she has been going. I have seen it for
-three or four weeks past.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a>{206}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘And, General! thank Heaven you are not angry, you are taking it in a
-Christian way.’</p>
-
-<p>He laughed again&mdash;a sort of angry laugh. ‘Am I taking it in a Christian
-way? I am glad you think so, Mrs. Mulgrave. When a thing cannot be cured
-it must be endured, you know. I am out of court&mdash; I have no ground to
-stand upon, and he is master of the field. I don’t mean to make her
-unhappy whatever happens. Is he here still?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said trembling. He offered me his arm precisely as Mr. Oakley
-had offered his to Ursula. ‘Then we’ll go and join them,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>This was how it all ended. There was not a speck on his boots or the
-least trace of disorder. Instead of roaming the woods in despair, as we
-thought, he had been quietly drinking Lady Denzil’s delightful tea and
-playing chess with Sir Thomas. They had seen nothing unusual about him,
-we heard afterwards, and never knew that he ought to have been starting
-for the Continent when he walked in that evening, warmly welcomed to
-tea&mdash;which shows what sentimental estimates we women form about the
-feelings of men.</p>
-
-<p>The marriage took place very soon after. Mr. Oakley bought Hillhead, the
-finest place in the neighbourhood, very soon after; he was so rich that
-he bought a house whenever he found one that pleased him, as I might buy
-an old blue china pot. The one was a much greater extravagance to me
-than the other was to him. And they lived very happy ever after, and
-nobody, so far as I know, has ever had occasion to regret this love at
-first sight at sixty&mdash;this elderly romance.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a>{207}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="MRS_MERRIDEWS_FORTUNE" id="MRS_MERRIDEWS_FORTUNE"></a>MRS. MERRIDEW’S FORTUNE</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> are two houses in my neighbourhood which illustrate so curiously
-two phases of life, that everybody on the Green, as well as myself, has
-been led into the habit of classing them together. The first reason of
-this of course is, that they stand together; the second, that they are
-as unlike in every way as it is possible to conceive. They are about the
-same size, with the same aspect, the same green circle of garden
-surrounding them; and yet as dissimilar as if they had been brought out
-of two different worlds. They are not on the Green, though they are
-undeniably a part of Dinglefield, but stand on the Mercot Road, a broad
-country road with a verdant border of turf and fine trees shadowing over
-the hedgerows. The Merridews live in the one, and in the other are Mrs.
-Spencer and Lady Isabella. The house of the two ladies, which has been
-already described, is as perfect in all its arrangements as if it were a
-palace: a silent, soft, fragrant, dainty place, surrounded by lawns like
-velvet; full of flowers in perfect bloom, the finest kinds, succeeding
-each other as the seasons change. Even in autumn, when the winds are
-blowing, you never see a fallen leaf about, or the least symptom of
-untidiness. They have enough servants for everything that is wanted, and
-the servants are as perfect as the flowers&mdash;noiseless maids and
-soft-voiced men. Everything goes like machinery, with an infallible
-regularity; but like machinery oiled and deadened, which emits no creak
-nor groan. This is one of the things upon which Mrs. Spencer specially
-prides herself.</p>
-
-<p>And just across two green luxuriant hedges, over a lawn which is not
-like velvet, you come to the Merridews’. It is possible if you passed it
-on a summer day that, notwithstanding the amazing superiority of the
-other, you would pause longer, and be more amused with a glance into the
-enclosure of the latter house. The lawn is not the least like velvet;
-probably it has not been mown for three weeks at least, and the daisies
-are irrepressible. But there, tumbled down in the midst of it,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a>{208}</span> are a
-bunch of little children in pinafores&mdash;‘<i>all</i> the little ones,’ as Janet
-Merridew, the eldest daughter, expresses herself, with a certain soft
-exasperation. I would rather not undertake to number them or record
-their names, but there they are, a knot of rosy, round-limbed,
-bright-eyed, living things, some dark and some fair, with an amazing
-impartiality; but all chattering as best they can in nursery language,
-with rings of baby laughter, and baby quarrels, and musings of infinite
-solemnity. Once tumbled out here, where no harm can come to them, nobody
-takes any notice of the little ones. Nurse, sitting by serenely under a
-tree, works all the morning through, and there is so much going on
-indoors to occupy the rest.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. and Mrs. Merridew, I need not add, had a large family&mdash;so large that
-their house overflowed, and when the big boys were at home from school,
-was scarcely habitable. Janet, indeed, did not hesitate to express her
-sentiments very plainly on the subject. She was just sixteen, and a good
-child, but full of the restless longing for something, she did not know
-what, and visionary discontent with her surroundings, which is not
-uncommon at her age. She had a way of paying me visits, especially
-during the holidays, and speaking more frankly on domestic subjects than
-was at all expedient. She would come in, in summer, with a tap on the
-glass which always startled me, through the open window, and sink down
-on a sofa and utter a long sigh of relief. ‘Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave!’ she
-would say, ‘what a good thing you never had any children!’ taking off,
-as she spoke, the large hat which it was one of her grievances to be
-compelled to wear.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is that because you have too many at home?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes, far too many; fancy, ten! Why should poor papa be burdened
-with ten of us? and so little money to keep us all on. And then a house
-gets so untidy with so many about. Mamma does all she can, and I do all
-I can; but how is it possible to keep it in order? When I look across
-the hedges to Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella’s and see everything so
-nice and so neat I could die of envy. And you are always so shady, and
-so cool, and so pleasant here.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is easy to be neat and nice when there is nobody to put things out
-of order,’ said I; ‘but when you are as old as I am, Janet, you will get
-to think that one may buy one’s neatness too dear.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I delight in it!’ cried the girl. ‘I should like to have everything
-nice, like you; all the books and papers just where one wants them, and
-paper-knives on every table, and ink in the ink-bottles, and no dust
-anywhere. You are not so dreadfully particular as Mrs. Spencer and Lady
-Isabella. I think I should like to see some litter on the carpet or on
-the lawn now and then for a change. But oh, if you could only see our
-house! And then our things are so shabby: the drawing-room carpet is all
-faded with the sun, and mamma will never have the blinds<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a>{209}</span> properly
-pulled down. And Selina, the housemaid, has so much to do. When I scold
-her, mamma always stops me, and bids me recollect we can’t be as nice as
-you other people, were we to try ever so much. There is so much to do in
-our house. And then those dreadful big boys!’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ said I, ‘ring the bell, and we will have some tea; and you
-can tell Jane to bring you some of that strawberry jam you are so fond
-of&mdash;and forget the boys.’</p>
-
-<p>‘As if one could!’ said Janet, ‘when they are all over the place&mdash;into
-one’s very room, if one did not mind; their boots always either dusty or
-muddy, and oh, the noise they make! Mamma won’t make them dress in the
-evenings, as I am sure she should. How are they ever to learn to behave
-like Christians, Mrs. Mulgrave, if they are not obliged to dress and
-come into the drawing-room at night?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I dare say they would run out again and spoil their evening clothes, my
-dear,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘That is just what mamma says,’ cried Janet; ‘but isn’t it dreadful to
-have always to consider everything like that? Poor mamma, too&mdash;often I
-am quite angry, and then I think&mdash;perhaps she would like a house like
-Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella’s as well as I should, if we had money
-enough. I suppose in a nice big house with heaps of maids and heaps of
-money, and everything kept tidy for you, one would not mind even the big
-boys.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I think under those circumstances most people would be glad to have
-them,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t understand how anybody can like boys,’ said Janet, with
-reflective yet contemptuous emphasis. ‘A baby-boy is different. When
-they are just the age of little Harry, I adore them; but those great
-long-legged creatures, in their big boots! And yet, when they’re nicely
-dressed in their evening things,’ she went on, suddenly changing her
-tone, ‘and with a flower in their coats&mdash;Jack has actually got an
-evening coat, Mrs. Mulgrave, he is so tall for his age&mdash;they look quite
-nice; they look such gentlemen,’ Janet concluded, with a little sisterly
-enthusiasm. ‘Oh, how dreadful it is to be so poor!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am sure you are very fond of them all the same,’ said I, ‘and would
-break your heart if anything should happen to them.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, well, of course, now they are there one would not wish anything to
-happen,’ said Janet. ‘What did you say I was to tell Jane, Mrs.
-Mulgrave, about the tea? There now! Selina has never the time to be as
-nice as that&mdash;and Richards, you know, our man&mdash;&mdash; Don’t you think,
-really, it would be better to have a nice clean parlour-maid than a man
-that looks like a cobbler? Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella are always
-going on about servants,&mdash;that you should send them away directly when
-they do anything wrong. But, you know, it makes a great difference
-having a separate servant for everything. Mamma always says, “They are
-good to the children, Janet,” or, “They<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a>{210}</span> are so useful and don’t mind
-what they do.” We put up with Selina because, though she’s not a good
-housemaid, she is quite willing to help in the nursery; and we put up
-with nurse because she gets through so much sewing; and even the
-cook&mdash;&mdash; Oh, dear, dear! it is so disagreeable. I wish I were&mdash;anybody
-but myself.’</p>
-
-<p>Just at this moment my maid ushered in Mrs. Merridew, hastily attired in
-a hat she wore in the garden, and a light shawl wrapped round her. There
-was an anxious look in her face, which indeed was not very unusual
-there. She was a little flushed, either by walking in the sunshine or by
-something on her mind.</p>
-
-<p>‘You here, Janet,’ she said, when she had shaken hands with me, ‘when
-you promised me to practise an hour after luncheon? Go, my dear, and do
-it now.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is so hot. I never can play in the middle of the day; and oh, mamma,
-please it is so pleasant here,’ pleaded Janet, nestling herself close
-into the corner of the sofa.</p>
-
-<p>‘Let her stay till we have had some tea,’ I said. ‘I know she likes my
-strawberry jam.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Merridew consented, but with a sigh; and then it was that I saw
-clearly she must have something on her mind. She did not smile, as
-usual, with the indulgent mother’s smile, half disapproving, yet
-unwilling to thwart the child. On the contrary, there was a little
-constraint in her air as she sat down, and Janet’s enjoyment of the jam
-vexed her, and brought a little wrinkle to her brow. ‘One would think
-you had not eaten anything all day,’ she said with a vexed tone, and
-evidently was impatient of her daughter’s presence, and wished her away.</p>
-
-<p>‘Nothing so nice as this,’ said Janet, with the frank satisfaction of
-her age; and she went on eating her bread and jam quite composedly,
-until Mrs. Merridew’s patience was exhausted.</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot have you stay any longer,’ she said at length. ‘Go and
-practise now, while there is no one in the house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, mamma!’ said Janet, beginning to expostulate; but was stopped short
-by a look in her mother’s eye. Then she gathered herself up reluctantly,
-and left the paradise of my little tea-table with the jam. She went out
-pouting, trailing her great hat after her; and had to be stopped as she
-stepped into the blazing sunshine, and commanded to put it on. ‘It is
-only a step,’ said the provoking girl, pouting more and more. And poor
-Mrs. Merridew looked so worried, and heated, and uncomfortable as she
-went out and said a few energetic words to her naughty child. Poor soul!
-Ten different wills to manage and keep in subjection to her own, besides
-all the other cares she had upon her shoulders. And that big girl who
-should have been a help to her, standing pouting and disobedient between
-the piano she did not care for, and the jam she loved.&mdash; Sometimes such a
-little altercation gives one a glimpse into an entire life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a>{211}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘She is such a child,’ Mrs. Merridew said, coming in with an apologetic,
-anxious smile on her face. She had been fretted and vexed, and yet she
-would not show it to lessen my opinion of her girl. Then she sank down
-wearily into that corner of the sofa from which Janet had been so
-unwillingly expelled. ‘The truth is, I wanted to speak to you,’ she
-said, ‘and could not while she was here. Poor Janet! I am afraid I was
-cross, but I could not help it. Something has occurred to-day which has
-put me out.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope it is something I can help you in,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘That is why I have come: you are always so kind; but it is a strange
-thing I am going to ask you this time,’ she said, with a wistful glance
-at me. ‘I want to go to town for a day on business of my own; and I want
-it to be supposed that it is business of yours.’</p>
-
-<p>The fact was, it did startle me for the moment&mdash;and then I reflected
-like lightning, so quick was the process (I say this that nobody may
-think my first feeling hard), what kind of woman she was, and how
-impossible that she should want to do anything that one need be ashamed
-of. ‘That is very simple,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>Then she rose hastily, and came up to me and gave me a sudden kiss,
-though she was not a demonstrative woman. ‘You are always so
-understanding,’ she said, with the tears in her eyes; and thus I was
-committed to stand by her, whatever her difficulty might be.</p>
-
-<p>‘But you sha’n’t do it in the dark,’ she went on; ‘I am going to tell
-you all about it. I don’t want Mr. Merridew to know, and in our house it
-is quite impossible to keep anything secret. He is on circuit now; but
-he would hear of “the day mamma went to town” before he had been five
-minutes in the house. And so I want you to go with me, you dear soul,
-and to let me say I went with you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is quite simple,’ I said again; but I did feel that I should like
-to know what the object of the expedition was.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is a long story,’ she said, ‘and I must go back and tell you ever so
-much about myself before you will understand. I have had the most
-dreadful temptation put before me to-day. Oh, such a temptation!
-resisting it is like tearing one’s heart in two; and yet I know I ought
-to resist. Think of our large family, and poor Charles’s many
-disappointments, and then, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, read that.’</p>
-
-<p>It was a letter written on a large square sheet of thin paper which she
-thrust into my hand: one of those letters one knows a mile off, and
-recognizes as lawyers’ letters, painful or pleasant, as the case may be;
-but more painful than pleasant generally. I read it, and you may judge
-of my astonishment to find that it ran thus:&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>‘<span class="smcap">Dear Madam</span>,&mdash;We have the pleasure to inform you that our late
-client, Mr. John Babington, deceased on the 10th of May<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a>{212}</span> last, has
-appointed you by his will his residuary legatee. After all his
-special bequests are paid, including an annuity of a hundred a year
-to his mother, with remainder to Miss Babington, his only surviving
-sister, there will remain a sum of about £10,000, at present
-excellently invested on landed security, and bearing interest at
-four and a half per cent. By Mr. Babington’s desire, precautions
-have been taken to bind it strictly to your separate use, so that
-you may dispose of it by will or otherwise, according to your
-pleasure, for which purpose we have accepted the office of your
-trustees, and will be happy to enter fully into the subject, and
-put you in possession of all details, as soon as you can favour us
-with a private interview.</p>
-
-<p class="c">
-‘We are, madam,<br />
-<span style="margin-left: 5em;">‘Your obedient servants,</span><br />
-<span style="margin-left: 14em;">‘<span class="smcap">Fogey, Featherhead &amp; Down</span>.’</span><br />
-</p></div>
-
-<p>‘A temptation!’ I cried; ‘but, my dear, it is a fortune; and it is
-delightful: it will make you quite comfortable. Why, it will be nearly
-five hundred a year.’</p>
-
-<p>I feel always safe in the way of calculating interest when it is
-anything approaching five per cent.; five per cent. is so easily
-counted. This great news took away my breath.</p>
-
-<p>But Mrs. Merridew shook her head. ‘It looks so at the first glance,’ she
-said; ‘but when you hear my story you will think differently.’ And then
-she made a little uncomfortable pause. ‘I don’t know whether you ever
-guessed it,’ she added, looking down, and doubling a new hem upon her
-handkerchief, ‘but I was not Charles’s equal when we married: perhaps
-you may have heard&mdash;&mdash;?</p>
-
-<p>Of course I had heard: but the expression of her countenance was such
-that I put on a look of great amazement, and pretended to be much
-astonished, which I could see was a comfort to her mind.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am glad of that,’ she said, ‘for you know&mdash;I could not speak so
-plainly to you if I did not feel that, though you are so quiet now, you
-must have seen a great deal of the world&mdash;you know what a man is. He may
-be capable of marrying you, if he loves you, whatever your condition
-is&mdash;but afterwards he does not like people to know. I don’t mean I was
-his inferior in education, or anything of that sort,’ she added, looking
-up at me with a sudden uneasy blush.</p>
-
-<p>‘You need not tell me that,’ I said; and then another uneasiness took
-possession of her, lest I should think less highly than was right of her
-husband.</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor Charles!’ she said; ‘it is scarcely fair to judge him as he is
-now. We have had so many cares and disappointments, and he has had to
-deny himself so many things&mdash;and you may say, Here is his wife, whom he
-has been so good to, plotting to take away from him what might give him
-a little ease. But oh, dear Mrs. Mulgrave, you must hear before you
-judge!’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a>{213}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘I do not judge,’ I said; ‘I am sure you must have some very good
-reason; tell me what it is.’</p>
-
-<p>Then she paused, and gave a long sigh. She must have been about forty, I
-think, a comely, simple woman, not in any way a heroine of romance; and
-yet she was as interesting to me as if she had been only half the age,
-and deep in some pretty crisis of romantic distress. I don’t object to
-the love stories either: but middle age has its romances too.</p>
-
-<p>‘When I was a girl,’ said Mrs. Merridew, ‘I went to the Babingtons as
-Ellen’s governess. She was about fifteen and I was not more than twenty,
-and I believe people thought me pretty. You will laugh at me, but I
-declare I have always been so busy all my life, that I have never had
-any time to think whether it was true: but one thing I know, that I was
-a very good governess. I often wish,’ she added, pausing, with a half
-comic look amid her trouble, ‘that I could find as good a governess as I
-was for the girls. There was one brother, John, and one other sister,
-Matilda; and Mr. Merridew was one of the visitors at the house, and was
-supposed to be paying <i>her</i> attention. I never could see it, for my
-part, and Charles declares he never had any such idea; but <i>they</i>
-thought so, I know. It is quite a long story. John had just come home
-from the University, and was pretending to read for the bar, and was
-always about the house; and the end was that he fell in love with me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Of course,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know that it was of course. I was so very shy, and dreaded the
-sound of my own voice; but he used to come after us everywhere by way of
-talking to Ellen, and so got to know me. Poor John! he was the nicest,
-faithful fellow&mdash;the sort of man one would trust everything to, and
-believe in and respect, and be fond of&mdash;but not love. Of course Charles
-was there too. It went on for about a year, such a curious, confused,
-pleasant, painful&mdash;&mdash; I cannot describe it to you&mdash;but you know what I
-mean. The Babingtons had always been kind to me; of course they were
-angry when they found out about John, but then when they knew I would
-not marry him, they were kinder than ever, and said I had behaved so
-very well about it. I was a very lonely poor girl; my mother was dead,
-and I had nowhere to go; and instead of sending me away, Mrs. Babington
-sent <i>him</i> away&mdash;her own son, which was very good of her you know. To be
-sure I was a good governess, and they never suspected Charles of coming
-for me, nor did I. Suddenly, all at once, without the least warning, he
-found me by myself one day, and told me. I was a little shocked,
-thinking of Matilda Babington! but then he declared he had meant
-nothing. And so&mdash;&mdash; When the Babingtons heard of it, they were all
-furious; even Ellen, my pupil, turned against me. They sent me away as
-if I had done something wicked. It was very, very hard upon me; but yet
-I scarcely wonder, now I think of it. That was why we<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a>{214}</span> married so early
-and so imprudently. Mrs. Mulgrave, I dare say you have often wondered
-why it was?’</p>
-
-<p>I had to put on such looks of wonder and satisfied curiosity as I could;
-for the truth was, I had known the outlines of the story for years, just
-as every one knows the outlines of every one else’s story; especially
-such parts of it as people might like to be concealed. I cannot
-understand how anybody, at least in society, or on the verge of society,
-can for a moment hope to have any secrets. Charles Merridew was a cousin
-of Mr. Justice Merridew, and very well connected, and of course it was
-known that he married a governess; which was one reason why people were
-so shy of them at first when they came to the Green.</p>
-
-<p>‘I begin to perceive now why this letter should be a temptation to you,’
-I said; ‘you think Mr. Merridew would not like&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, it is not that,’ she said. ‘Poor Charles! I don’t think he would
-mind. The world is so hard, and one makes so little head against it. No,
-it is because of Mrs. Babington. I heard she lost all her money some
-years ago, and was dependent on her son. And what can she do on a
-hundred a year? A hundred a year! Only think of it, for an old lady
-always accustomed to have her own way. It is horribly unjust, you know,
-to take it from her, his mother, who was always so good to him; and to
-give it to me, whom he has not seen for nearly twenty years, and who
-gave him a sore heart when he did know me. I could not take advantage of
-it. It is a great temptation, but it would be a great sin. And that is
-why,’ she added, with a sudden flush on her face, looking at me, ‘I
-should rather&mdash;manage it myself&mdash;under cover of you&mdash;and&mdash;not let
-Charles know.’</p>
-
-<p>She looked at me, and held me with her eye, demanding of me that I
-should understand her, and yet defying me to think any the worse of
-Charles. She was afraid of her husband&mdash;afraid that he would clutch at
-the money without any consideration of the wrong&mdash;afraid to trust him
-with the decision. She would have me understand her without words, and
-yet she would not have me blame Mr. Merridew. She insisted on the one
-and defied me to the other; an inconsistent, unreasonable woman! But I
-did my best to look as if I saw, and yet did not see.</p>
-
-<p>‘Then you want to see the lawyers?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I want to see Mrs. Babington,’ was her answer. ‘I must go to them and
-explain. They are proud people, and probably would resist&mdash;or they may
-be otherwise provided for. If that was the case I should not hesitate to
-take it. Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, when I look at all the children, and Janet
-there murmuring and grumbling, don’t you think it wrings my heart to put
-away this chance of comfort? And poor Charles working himself out. But
-it could not bring a blessing. It would bring a curse; I cannot take the
-bread out of the mouth of the old woman who was good to me, even to put
-it into that of my own child.’</p>
-
-<p>And here two tears fell out of Mrs. Merridew’s eyes. At her age people
-do not weep abundantly. She gave a little start as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a>{215}</span> they fell, and
-brushed them off her dress, with, I don’t doubt, a sensation of shame.
-She to cry like a baby, who had so much to do! She left shortly after,
-with an engagement to meet me at the station for the twelve o’clock
-train next day. I was going to town on business, and had asked her to go
-with me&mdash;this was what was to be said to all the world. I explained
-myself elaborately that very evening to Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella,
-when I met them taking their walk after dinner.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Merridew is so kind as to go with me,’ I said; ‘she knows so much
-more about business than I do.’ And I made up my mind that I would go to
-the Bank and leave my book to be made up, that it might not be quite
-untrue.</p>
-
-<p>‘Fancy Mrs. Mulgrave having any business!’ said Lady Isabella. ‘Why
-don’t you write to some man, and make him do it, instead of all the
-trouble of going to town?’</p>
-
-<p>‘But Mrs. Merridew is going with me, my dear,’ I said; and nobody
-doubted that the barrister’s wife, with so much experience as she had,
-and so many things to do, would be an efficient help to me in my little
-affairs.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> house we went to was a house in St. John’s Wood. Everybody knows the
-kind of place. A garden wall, with lilacs and laburnums, all out of
-blossom by this time, and beginning to look brown and dusty, waving over
-it; inside, a little bright suburban garden, full of scarlet geraniums,
-divided by a white line of pavement, dazzlingly clean, from the door in
-the wall to the door of the house; and a stand full of more scarlet
-geraniums in the little square hall. Mrs. Merridew became very much
-agitated as we approached. It was all that I could do to keep her up
-when we had rung the bell at the door. I think she would have turned and
-gone back even then had it been possible, but, fortunately, we were
-admitted without delay.</p>
-
-<p>We were shown into a pretty shady drawing-room, full of old furniture,
-which looked like the remnants of something greater, and at which she
-gazed with eyes of almost wild recognition, unconsciously pressing my
-arm, which she still held. Everything surrounding her woke afresh the
-tumult of recollections. She was not able to speak when the maid asked
-our names, and I was about to give them simply, and had already named my
-own, when she pressed my arm closer to her, and interposed all at once&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘Say two ladies from the country anxious to speak with her about
-business. She might not&mdash;know&mdash;our names.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is it business about the house, ma’am?’ said the maid with some
-eagerness.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, yes; it is about the house,’ said Mrs. Merridew, hastily. And then
-the door closed, and we sat waiting, listening to the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a>{216}</span> soft, subdued
-sounds in the quiet house, and the rustle of the leaves in the garden.
-‘She must be going to let it,’ my companion said hoarsely; and then rose
-from the chair on which she had placed herself, and began to move about
-the room with agitation, looking at everything, touching the things with
-her hands, with now and then a stifled exclamation. ‘There is where we
-used to sit, Ellen and I,’ she said, standing by a sofa, before which a
-small table was placed, ‘when there was company in the evenings. And
-there Matilda&mdash;oh, what ghosts there are about! Matilda is married,
-thank Heaven! but if Ellen comes, I shall never be able to face her. Oh,
-Mrs. Mulgrave, if you would but speak for me!’</p>
-
-<p>At this moment the door was opened. Mrs. Merridew shrank back
-instinctively, and sat down, resting her hand on the table she had just
-pointed out to me. The new-comer was a tall, full figure, in deep
-mourning, a handsome woman of five-and-thirty, or thereabouts, with
-bright hair, which looked all the brighter from comparison with the
-black depths of her dress, and a colourless, clear complexion. All the
-colour about her was in her hair. Though she had no appearance of
-unhealthiness, her very lips were pale, and she came in with a noiseless
-quiet dignity, and the air of one who felt she had pain to encounter,
-yet felt able to bear it.</p>
-
-<p>‘Pardon me for keeping you waiting,’ she said; and then, with a somewhat
-startled glance, ‘I understood you wanted to see&mdash;the house.’</p>
-
-<p>My companion was trembling violently; and I cleared my throat, and tried
-to clear up my ideas (which was less easy) to say something in reply.
-But before I had stammered out half-a-dozen words Mrs. Merridew rose,
-and made one or two unsteady steps towards the stranger.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen,’ she cried, ‘don’t you know me?’ and stopped there, standing in
-the centre of the room, holding out appealing hands.</p>
-
-<p>Miss Babington’s face changed in the strangest way. I could see that she
-recognized her in a moment, and then that she pretended to herself not
-to recognize her. There was the first startled, vivid, indignant glance,
-and then a voluntary mist came over her eyes. She gazed at the agitated
-woman with an obstinately blank gaze, and then turned to me with a
-little bow.</p>
-
-<p>‘Your friend has the advantage of me,’ she said; ‘but you were saying
-something? I should be glad, if that was what you wanted, to show you
-over the house.’</p>
-
-<p>It would be hard to imagine a more difficult position than that in which
-I found myself; seated between two people who were thus strangely
-connected with each other by bonds of mutual injury, and appealed to for
-something meaningless and tranquillizing, to make the intercourse
-possible. I did the best I could on the spur of the moment.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is not so much the house,’ I said, ‘though, if you wish to let it, I
-have a friend who is looking for a house; but I think<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a>{217}</span> there was some
-other business Mrs. Merridew had; something to say&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Merridew!’ said Miss Babington, suffering the light once more to
-come into her eyes; and then she gave her an indignant look. ‘I think
-this might have been spared us at least.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen,’ said Mrs. Merridew, speaking very low and humbly&mdash;‘Ellen, I
-have never done anything to you to make you so hard against me. If I
-injured your sister, it was unwittingly. She is better off than I am
-now. You were once fond of me, as I was of you. Why should you have
-turned so completely against me? I have come in desperation to ask a
-hearing from you, and from your mother, Ellen. God knows I mean nothing
-but good. And oh, what have I ever done?&mdash;what harm?’</p>
-
-<p>Miss Babington had seated herself, still preserving her air of dignity,
-but without an invitation by look or gesture to her visitor to be
-seated; and in the silent room, all so dainty and so sweet with flowers,
-with the old furniture in it, which reminded her of the past, the
-culprit of twenty years ago stood pleading between one of those whom she
-was supposed to have wronged and myself, a most ignorant and uneasy
-spectator. Twenty years ago! In the meantime youth had passed, and the
-hard burdens of middle age had come doubled and manifold upon her
-shoulders. Had she done nothing in the meantime that would tell more
-heavily against her than that girlish inadvertence of the past? Yet here
-she stood&mdash;not knowing, I believe, for the moment, whether she was the
-young governess in her first trouble, or the mother of all those
-children, acquainted with troubles so much more bitter&mdash;among the ghosts
-of the past.</p>
-
-<p>‘I would much rather not discuss the question,’ said Miss Babington,
-still seated, and struggling hard to preserve her calm. ‘All the grief
-and vexation we have owed to you in this house cannot be summed up in a
-moment. The only policy, I think, is to be silent. Your very presence
-here is an offence to us. What else could it be?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I should never have come,’ said Mrs. Merridew, moved by a natural prick
-of resentment, ‘but for what I have just heard&mdash;&mdash; I should never have
-returned to ask for pardon where I had done no wrong&mdash;had it not been
-for this&mdash;this that I feel to be unjust. Your poor brother John&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Stop!’ cried the other, her reserve failing. ‘Stop, oh! stop, you cruel
-woman! He was nothing to you but a toy to be played with&mdash;but he was my
-brother, my only brother; and you have made him an undutiful son in his
-very grave.’</p>
-
-<p>The tears were in her eyes, her colourless face had flushed, her soft
-voice was raised; and Mrs. Merridew, still standing, listened to her
-with looks as agitated&mdash;when all at once the door was again opened
-softly. The aspect of affairs changed in a moment. To my utter
-amazement, Mrs. Merridew, who was standing with her face to the door,
-made a quick, imperative,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a>{218}</span> familiar gesture to her antagonist, and
-looked towards an easy-chair which stood near the open window. Miss
-Babington rose quickly to her feet, and composed herself into a sudden
-appearance of calm.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma,’ she said, going forward to meet the old lady, who came slowly
-in; ‘here are some ladies come upon business. This is&mdash;Mrs. Merridew.’
-She said the name very low, as Mrs. Babington made her way to her chair,
-and Mrs. Merridew sank trembling into her seat, unable, I think, to bear
-up longer. The old lady seated herself before she spoke. She was a
-little old woman, with a pretty, softly-coloured old face, and had the
-air of having been petted and cared for all her life. The sudden change
-of her daughter’s manner; the accumulation of every kind of convenience
-and prettiness, as I now remarked, round that chair; the careful way in
-which it had been placed out of the sun and the draught, yet in the air
-and in sight of the garden, told a whole history of themselves. And now
-Mrs. Merridew’s passionate sense that the alienation of the son’s
-fortune from the mother was a thing impossible, was made clear to me at
-once.</p>
-
-<p>‘Whom did you say, Ellen?’ said the old lady, when she was comfortably
-settled in her chair. ‘Mrs.&mdash;&mdash;? I never catch names. I hope you have
-explained to the ladies that I am rather infirm, and can’t stand. What
-did you say was your friend’s name, my dear?’</p>
-
-<p>Her friend’s name! Ellen Babington’s face lightened all over as with a
-pale light of indignation.</p>
-
-<p>‘I said&mdash;Mrs. Merridew,’ she repeated, with a little emphasis on the
-name. Then there was a pause; and the culprit who was at the bar
-trembled visibly, and hid her face in her hands.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Merridew!&mdash;&mdash; Do you mean&mdash;&mdash;? Turn me round, Ellen, and let me
-look at her,’ said the old lady with a curious catching of her breath.</p>
-
-<p>It was a change which could not be done in a moment. While the daughter
-turned the mother’s chair, poor Mrs. Merridew must have gone through the
-torture of an age; her hands trembled, in which she had hidden herself.
-But as the chair creaked and turned slowly round, and all was silent
-again, she raised her white face, and uncovered herself, as it were, to
-meet the inquisitor’s eye. It might have been a different woman, so
-changed was she: her eyes withdrawn into caves, the lines of her mouth
-drawn down, two hollows clearly marked in her cheeks, and every particle
-of her usual colour gone. She looked up appalled and overcome,
-confronting, but not meeting, the keen, critical look which old Mrs.
-Babington fixed upon her; and then there was again a pause; and the
-leaves fluttered outside, and the white curtains within, and a gay
-child’s voice, passing in the road without, suddenly fell among us like
-a bird.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ said the old lady, ‘that creature! Do you mean to tell me, Ellen,
-that she has had the assurance to come here?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a>{219}</span> Now look at her and tell
-me what a man’s sense is worth. That woman’s face turned my poor boy’s
-head, and drove Charles Merridew out of his wits. Only look at her: is
-there anything there to turn anybody’s head now? She has lost her figure
-too; to be sure that is not so wonderful, for she is forty if she is a
-day. But there are you, my dear, as straight as a rush, and your sister
-Matilda as well. So that is Janet Singleton, our governess: I wonder
-what Charles thinks of his bargain now? I never saw a woman so gone off.
-Oh, Ellen, Ellen, why didn’t she come and show herself, such a figure as
-she is, before my poor dear boy was taken from us? My poor boy! And to
-think he should have gone to his grave in such a delusion! Ellen, I
-would rather now that you sent her away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, mamma, don’t speak like this,’ cried Ellen, red with shame and
-distress; ‘what does it matter about her figure? if that were all!&mdash;but
-she is going away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, yes, send her away,’ said the old lady. ‘You liked her once, but I
-don’t suppose even you can think there could be any intercourse now. My
-son left all his money to her,’ she added, turning to me&mdash;past his
-mother and his sister. You will admit that was a strange thing to do. I
-don’t know who the other lady is, Ellen, but I conclude she is a friend
-of yours. He left everything past us, everything but some poor pittance.
-Perhaps you may know some one who wants a house in this neighbourhood?
-It is a very nice little house, and much better furnished than most. I
-should be very glad to let it, now that I can’t afford to occupy it
-myself, by the year.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma, the other lady is with Mrs. Merridew,’ said Ellen; ‘I do not
-know her&mdash;&mdash;’ and she cast a glance at me, almost appealing to my pity.
-I rose up, not knowing what to do.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps, my dear,’ I said, I confess with timidity, ‘we had better go
-away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Unless you will stay to luncheon,’ said the old lady. ‘But I forgot&mdash;I
-don’t want to look at that woman any more, Ellen. She has done us enough
-of harm to satisfy any one. Turn me round again to my usual place, and
-send her away.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Merridew had risen to her feet too. She had regained her senses
-after the first frightful shock. She was still ghastly pale, but she was
-herself. She went up firmly and swiftly to the old lady, put Ellen aside
-by a movement which she was unconscious of in her agitation, and
-replaced the chair in its former place with the air of one to whom such
-an office was habitual. ‘You used to say I always did it best,’ she
-said. ‘Oh, is it possible you can have forgotten everything! Did not I
-give him up when you asked me, and do you think I will take his money
-now? Oh, never, never! It ought to be yours, and it shall be. Oh, take
-it back, and forgive me, and say, “God bless you” once again.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Eh, what was that you said? Ellen, what does she say?’ said the old
-woman. ‘I have always heard the Merridews were<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a>{220}</span> very poor. Poor John’s
-fortune will be a godsend to them. Go away! I suppose you mean to mock
-me after all the rest you have done. I don’t understand what you say.’</p>
-
-<p>Yet she looked up with a certain eagerness on her pretty old face&mdash;a
-certain sharp look of greed and longing came into the blue eyes, which
-retained their colour as pure as that of youth. Her daughter towered
-above her, pale with emotion, but still indignant, yielding not a jot.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma, pay no attention,’ she said; ‘Mrs. Merridew may pity us, but
-what is that? surely we can take back nothing from her hands.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Pity! I don’t see how Janet Merridew can pity <i>me</i>. But I should like,’
-Mrs. Babington went on, with a little tremble of eagerness, ‘to know at
-least what she means.’</p>
-
-<p>‘This is what I mean,’ said Mrs. Merridew, sinking on her knees by the
-old lady’s chair: ‘that I will not take your money. It <i>is</i> your money.
-We are poor, as you say; but we can struggle on as we have done for
-twenty years; and poor John’s money is yours, and not mine. It is not
-mine. I will not take it. It must have been some mistake. If he had
-known what he was doing he never would have left it to any one but you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘So I think myself,’ said the old lady, musing; and then was silent,
-taking no notice of any one&mdash;looking into the air.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma,’ said Ellen, behind her chair, ‘I can work for you, and Matilda
-will help us. It cannot be. It may be kind of&mdash;her&mdash;but it cannot,
-cannot be. Are we to take charity?&mdash;to live on charity? Mamma, she has
-no right to disturb you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She is not disturbing me, my dear,’ said the old lady; ‘on the
-contrary. Whatever I might think of her, she used to be a girl of sense.
-And Matilda always carried things with a very high hand, and I never was
-fond of her husband. But I am very fond of my house,’ she added, after a
-pause; ‘it is such a nice house, Ellen. I think I should die if we were
-to leave it. I shall die very soon, most likely, and be a burden on
-nobody; but still, Ellen, if she meant it, you know&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mamma, what does it matter what she means? you never can think of
-accepting charity. It will break my heart.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is all very well to say,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘But I have lived a
-great deal longer than you have done, my dear, and I know that hearts
-are not broken so easily. It would break my heart to leave my nice
-house. Janet, come here, and look me in the face. I don’t think you were
-true to us in the old times. Matilda did carry things with a very high
-hand. I told her so at the time, and I have often told her so since; but
-I don’t think you were true to us, all the same.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I did not know&mdash;I did not mean&mdash;&mdash;’ faltered Mrs. Merridew, leaning
-her head on the arm of the old lady’s chair.</p>
-
-<p>It was clear to me that the story had two sides, and that my friend was
-perhaps not so innocent as she had made herself out to be. But there was
-something very pitiful in the comparison<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a>{221}</span> between the passion of anxiety
-in her half-hidden face, and the calm of the old woman who was thus
-deciding on her fate.</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear, I am afraid you knew,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘You accepted my
-poor boy, and then, when I spoke to you, you gave him up, and took
-Charles Merridew instead. If I had not interfered, perhaps it would have
-been better; though, to be sure, I don’t know what we should have done
-with a heap of children. And as for poor John’s money, you know you have
-no more real right to it, no more than that other lady, who never saw
-him in her life.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She has the best possible right to it, mamma&mdash;he left it to her,’ said
-Ellen anxiously, over her shoulder. ‘Oh, why did you come here to vex
-us, when we were not interfering with you? I beg of you not to trouble
-my mother any more, but go away.’</p>
-
-<p>Then there was a moment of hesitation. Mrs. Merridew rose slowly from
-her knees. She turned round to me, not looking me in the face. She said,
-in a hoarse voice, ‘Let us go,’ and made a step towards the door. She
-was shaking as if she had a fever; but she was glad. Was that possible?
-She had delivered her conscience&mdash;and now might not she go and keep the
-money which would make her children happy? But she could not look me in
-the face. She moved as slowly as a funeral. And yet she would have
-flown, if she could, to get safely away.</p>
-
-<p>‘Janet, my dear,’ said the old lady, ‘come back, and let us end our
-talk.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Merridew stopped short, with a start, as if a shot had arrested
-her. This time she looked me full in the face. Her momentary hope was
-over, and now she felt for the first time the poignancy of the sacrifice
-which it had been her own will to make.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come back, Janet,’ said Mrs. Babington. ‘As you say, it is not your
-money. Nothing could make it your money. You were always right-feeling
-when you were not aggravated. I am much obliged to you, my dear. Come
-and sit down here, and tell me all about yourself. Now poor John is
-dead,’ she went on, falling suddenly into soft weeping, like a child,
-‘we ought to be friends. To think he should die before me, and I should
-be heir to my own boy&mdash;isn’t it sad? And such a fine young fellow as he
-was! You remember when he came back from the University? What a nice
-colour he had! And always so straight and slim, like a rush. All my
-children have a good carriage. You have lost your figure, Janet; and you
-used to have a nice little figure. When a girl is so round and plump,
-she is apt to get stout as she gets older. Look at Ellen, how nice she
-is. But then, to be sure, children make a difference. Sit down by me
-here, and tell me how many you have. And, Ellen, send word to the
-house-agent, and tell him we don’t want now to let the house; and tell
-Parker to get luncheon ready a little earlier. You must want something,
-if you have come from the country. Where<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a>{222}</span> are you living now? and how is
-Charles Merridew? Dear, dear, to think I should not have seen either of
-you for nearly twenty years!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, mamma, surely, surely,’ cried Ellen Babington, ‘you don’t think
-things can be settled like this?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t speak nonsense, Ellen; everything <i>is</i> settled,’ said the old
-lady. ‘You know I always had the greatest confidence in Janet’s good
-sense. Now, my dear, hold your tongue. A girl like you has no right to
-meddle. I always manage my own business. Go and look after
-luncheon&mdash;that is your affair.’</p>
-
-<p>I do not remember ever to have seen a more curious group in my life.
-There was the old lady in the centre, quite calm, and sweet, and
-pleasant. A tear was still lingering on her eyelash; but it represented
-nothing more than a child’s transitory grief, and underneath there was
-nothing but smiles, and satisfaction, and content. She looked so pretty,
-so pleased, so glad to find that her comforts were not to be impaired,
-and yet took it all so lightly, as a matter of course, as completely
-unconscious of the struggle going on in the mind of her benefactress as
-if she had been a creature from a different world. As for Mrs. Merridew,
-she stood speechless, choked by feelings that were too bitter and
-conflicting for words. I am sure that all the advantages this money
-could have procured for her children were surging up before her as she
-stood and listened. She held her hands helplessly half stretched out, as
-if something had been taken out of them. Her eyes were blank with
-thinking, seeing nothing that we saw, but a whole world of the
-invisible. Her breast heaved with a breath half drawn, which seemed
-suspended half way, as if dismay and disappointment hindered its
-completion. It was all over then&mdash;her sacrifice made and accepted, and
-no more about it; and herself sent back to the monotonous struggle of
-life. On the other side of the pretty old lady stood Ellen Babington,
-pale and miserable, struggling with shame and pride, casting sudden
-glances at Mrs. Merridew, and then appealing looks at me, who had
-nothing to do with it.</p>
-
-<p>‘Tell her, oh, tell her it can’t be!’ she cried at last, coming to me.
-‘Tell her the lawyers will not permit it. It cannot be.’</p>
-
-<p>And Mrs. Merridew, too, gave me one pitiful look&mdash;not repenting, but
-yet&mdash;&mdash; Then she went forward, and laid her hand upon the old lady’s
-hand, which was like ivory, with all the veins delicately carved upon
-it.</p>
-
-<p>‘Say, God bless us, at least. Say, “God bless you and your children,”
-once before I go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘To be sure,’ said the old lady cheerfully. ‘God bless you, my dear, and
-all the children. Matilda has no children, you know. I should like to
-see them, if you think it would not be too much for me. But you are not
-going, Janet, when it is the first time we have met for nearly twenty
-years?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I must go,’ said Mrs. Merridew.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a>{223}</span></p>
-
-<p>She could not trust herself to speak, I could see. She put down her face
-and kissed the ivory hand, and then she turned and went past me to the
-door, without another word. I think she had forgotten my very existence.
-When she had reached the door she turned round suddenly, and fixed her
-eyes upon Ellen. She was going away, having given them back their
-living, without so much acknowledgment as if she had brought a nosegay.
-There was in her look a mute remonstrance and appeal and protest. Ellen
-Babington trembled all over; her lips quivered as if with words which
-pride or pain would not permit her to say; but she held, with both hands
-immovable, to the back of her mother’s chair, who, for her part, was
-kissing her hand to the departing visitor. ‘Good-bye; come and see us
-soon again,’ the old lady was saying cheerfully. And Ellen gazed, and
-trembled, and said nothing. Thus this strangest of visits came to an
-end.</p>
-
-<p>She had forgotten me, as I thought; but when I came to her side and my
-arm was within her reach, she clutched at it and tottered so that it was
-all I could do to support her. I was very thankful to get her into the
-cab, for I thought she would have fainted on the way. But yet she roused
-herself when I told the man to drive back to the station.</p>
-
-<p>‘We must go to the lawyer’s first,’ she said; and then we turned and
-drove through the busy London streets, towards the City. The clerks
-looked nearly baked in the office when we reached it, and the crowd
-crowded on, indiscriminate and monotonous. One feels one has no right to
-go to such a place and take any of the air away, of which they have so
-little. And to think of the sweet air blowing over our lawns and lanes,
-and all the unoccupied, silent, shady places we had left behind us! Such
-vain thoughts were not in Mrs. Merridew’s head. She was turning over and
-over instead a very different kind of vision. She was counting up all
-she had sacrificed, and how little she had got by it; and yet was going
-to complete the sacrifice, unmoved even by her thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>I confess I was surprised at the tone she took with the lawyer. She said
-‘Mr. Merridew and myself’ with a composure which made me, who knew Mr.
-Merridew had no hand in it, absolutely speechless. The lawyer
-remonstrated as he was in duty bound, and spoke about his client’s will;
-but Mrs. Merridew made very little account of the will. She quoted her
-husband with a confidence so assured that even I, though I knew better,
-began to be persuaded that she had communicated with him. And thus the
-business was finally settled. She had recovered herself by the time we
-got into the cab again. It is true that her face was worn and livid with
-the exertions of the day, but still, pale and weary as she was, she was
-herself.</p>
-
-<p>‘But, my dear,’ I said, ‘you quoted Mr. Merridew, as if he knew all
-about it; and what if he should not approve?’</p>
-
-<p>‘You must not think I have no confidence in my husband,’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a>{224}</span> she said
-quickly; ‘far from that. Perhaps he would not see as I do now. He would
-think of our own wants first. But if it comes to his ears afterwards,
-Charles is not the man to disown his wife’s actions. Oh, no, no; we have
-gone through a great deal together, and he would no more bring shame
-upon me, as if I acted when I had no right to act&mdash;than&mdash;I would bring
-shame upon him; and I think that is as much as could be said.’</p>
-
-<p>And then we made our way back to the station; but she said nothing more
-till we got into the railway-carriage, which was not quite so noisy as
-our cab.</p>
-
-<p>‘It would have been such a thing for us,’ she said then, half to
-herself. ‘Poor Charles! Oh, if I could but have said to him, “Don’t be
-so anxious; here is so much a year for the children.” And Jack should
-have gone to the University. And there would have been Will’s premium at
-once’ (<i>i.e.</i>, to Mr. Willoughby, the engineer). ‘The only thing that I
-am glad of is that they don’t know. And then Janet; she breaks my heart
-when she talks. It is so bad for her, knowing the Fortises and all those
-girls who have everything that heart can desire. I never had that to
-worry me when I was young. I was only the governess. Janet’s talk will
-be the worst of all. I could have made the house so nice too, and
-everything. Well!&mdash;but then I never should have had a moment’s peace.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You don’t regret?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Mrs. Merridew with a long sigh. And then, ‘Do you think I
-have been a traitor to the children?’ she cried suddenly, ‘taking away
-their money from them in the dark? Would Charles think me a traitor, as
-<i>they</i> do? Is it always to be my part?&mdash;always to be my part?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, no,’ I said, soothing her as best I could; but I was very glad to
-find my pony-carriage at the station, and to drive her home to my house
-and give her some tea, and strengthen her for her duties. Thus poor John
-Babington’s fortune was disposed of, and no one was the wiser, except,
-indeed, the old lady and her daughter, who were not likely to talk much
-on the subject. And Mrs. Merridew walked calmly across to her house in
-the dusk as if this strange episode of agitation and passion had been
-nothing more solid than a dream.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">We</span> did not meet again for some days after this, and next time I saw her,
-which was on Sunday at church with her children, it seemed impossible to
-me to believe in the reality of the strange scene we had so recently
-passed through together. The calm curtain of ordinary decorums and
-ordinary friendliness had risen for a moment from Mrs. Merridew’s
-unexcited existence, revealing a woman distracted by a primitive sense
-of justice,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a>{225}</span> rending her own soul, as it were, in sunder, and doing, in
-spite of herself and all her best instincts, what she felt was right.
-That she should have any existence separate from her children had never
-occurred to anybody before. Yet, for one day, I had seen her resist and
-ignore the claims of her children, and act like an independent being.
-When I saw her again she was once more the mother and nothing more,
-casting her eyes over her little flock, cognizant, one could see, of the
-perfection or imperfection of every fold and line in their dresses,
-keeping her attention upon each, from little Matty, who was restless and
-could not be kept quiet, up to Janet, who sat demure, and already caught
-the eye of visitors as one of the prettiest girls of Dinglefield. Mrs.
-Merridew remarked all with a vigilant mother’s eye, and as I gazed
-across at her in her pew, it was all but impossible for me to believe
-that this was the same woman who had clung so convulsively to my arm,
-whose face had been so worn and hollowed out with suffering. How could
-it be the same woman? She who had suffered poor John Babington to love
-her&mdash;and then had cast him off, and married her friend’s lover instead;
-who had established so firm an empire over a man’s heart, that, after
-twenty years, he had remembered her still with such intensity of
-feeling. How Janet would have opened her big eyes had it been suggested
-to her that her mother could have any power over men’s hearts; or,
-indeed, could be occupied with anything more touching or important than
-her children’s frocks or her butcher’s bills! I fear I did not pay much
-attention to the service that morning. I could not but gaze at them, and
-wonder whether, for instance, Mr. Merridew himself, who had come back
-from circuit, and was seated respectably with his family in church,
-yawning discreetly over Mr. Damerel’s sermon, remembered anything at
-all, for his part, of Matilda Babington or her brother. Probably he
-preferred to ignore the subject altogether&mdash;or, perhaps, would laugh
-with a sense of gratified vanity that there had been ‘a row,’ when the
-transference of his affections was discovered. And there she sat by his
-side, who had&mdash;had she betrayed his confidence? was she untrue to him in
-being this time true to her friends? The question bewildered me so that
-my mind went groping about it and about it. Once, I fear, she had been
-false to those whose bread she ate, and chosen love instead of
-friendship. Now was she false to the nearest of ties, the closest of all
-relationships, sitting calmly there beside him with a secret in her mind
-of which he knew nothing? ‘Falsely true!’&mdash;was that what the woman was
-who looked to the outside world a mere pattern of all domestic virtues,
-without any special interest about her, a wife devoted to her husband’s
-interest, a mother wrapped up, as people say, in her children? I could
-not make up my mind what to think.</p>
-
-<p>‘I hope you got through your business comfortably,’ Mrs. Spencer said to
-me as we walked home from church.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a>{226}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘With Mrs. Merridew’s assistance,’ said Lady Isabella, who was rather
-satirical. And the Merridews heard their own name, and stopped to join
-in the conversation.</p>
-
-<p>‘What is that about my wife?’ he said. ‘Did Mrs. Mulgrave have Mrs.
-Merridew’s assistance about something? I hope it was only shopping. When
-you have business you should consult me. She is a goose, and knows
-nothing about it.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think she is a goose,’ said I.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, perhaps not in her own way,’ said the serene husband, laughing;
-‘but every woman is a goose about business&mdash;I beg your pardon, ladies,
-but I assure you I mean it as a compliment. I hate a woman of business.
-Shopping is quite a different matter,’ he added, and laughed. Good
-heavens! if he had only known what a fool he looked, beside the silent
-woman, who gave me a little warning glance and coloured a little, and
-turned away her head to speak to little Matty, who was clinging to her
-skirts. A perfect mother! thinking more (you would have said) of Matty’s
-little frills and Janet’s bonnet-strings than of anything else in life.</p>
-
-<p>And that was all about it. The summer went on and turned to autumn and
-to winter and to spring again, with that serene progression of nature
-which nothing obstructs; and the children grew, and the Merridews were
-as poor as ever, managing more or less to make both ends meet, but
-always just a little short somewhere, with their servants chosen on the
-same principle of supplementing each other’s imperfect service as that
-which Janet had announced to me. For one thing, they kept their servants
-a long time, which I have noticed is characteristic of households not
-very rich nor very ‘particular.’ When you allow such pleas to tell in
-favour of an imperfect housemaid as that she is good to the children, or
-does not mind helping the cook, there is no reason why Mary, if she does
-not marry in the meantime, should not stay with you a hundred years. And
-the Merridews’ servants accordingly stayed, and looked very friendly at
-you when you went to call, and did their work not very well, with much
-supervision and exasperation (respectively) on the part of the mother
-and daughter. But the family was no poorer, though it was no richer. The
-only evidence of our expedition to town which I could note was, that it
-had produced a new pucker on Mrs. Merridew’s brow. She had looked
-sufficiently anxious by times before, but the new pucker had something
-more than anxiety in it. There was a sense of something better that
-might have been; a sense of something lost&mdash;a suspicion of bitterness.
-How all this could be expressed by one line on a smooth white forehead I
-cannot explain; but to me it was so.</p>
-
-<p>Now and then, too, a chance allusion would be made which recalled what
-had happened still more plainly. For instance, I chanced to be calling
-one afternoon, when Mr. Merridew came home earlier than usual from town.
-We were sitting over our five-o’clock tea, with a few of the children
-scrambling about the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a>{227}</span> floor and Janet working in the corner. He took up
-the ordinary position of a man who has just come home, with his back to
-the fire, and regarded us with that benevolent contempt which men
-generally think it right to exhibit for women over their tea; and
-everything was so ordinary and pleasant, that I for one was taken
-entirely by surprise, and nearly let fall the cup in my hand when he
-spoke.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know whether you saw John Babington’s death in the <i>Times</i>
-three or four months ago, Janet,’ he said, ‘did you? Why did you never
-mention it? It is odd that I should not have heard. I met Ellen to-day
-coming out of the Amyotts, where I lunched, in such prodigious mourning
-that I was quite startled. All the world might have been dead to look at
-her. And do you know she gave me a look as if she would have spoken. All
-that is so long past that it’s ridiculous keeping up malice. I wish you
-would call next time you are in town to ask for the old lady. Poor
-John’s death must have been a sad loss to them. I hear there was some
-fear that he had left his property away from his mother and sister. But
-it turned out a false report.’</p>
-
-<p>I did not dare to look at Mrs. Merridew to see how she bore it; but her
-voice replied quite calmly without any break, as if the conversation was
-on the most ordinary subject&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘Where did you manage to get so much news?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, from the Amyotts,’ he said, ‘who knew all about it. Matilda, you
-know, poor girl’ (with that half laugh of odious masculine vanity which
-I knew in my heart he would be guilty of), ‘married a cousin of
-Amyott’s, and is getting on very well, they say. But think over my
-suggestion, Janet. I think at this distance of time it would be graceful
-on your part to go and call.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I cannot think they would like to see me now,’ she said in a low voice.
-Then I ventured to look at her. She was seated in an angular, rigid way,
-with her shoulders and elbows squared to her work, and the corners of
-her mouth pursed up, which would have given to any cursory observer the
-same impression it did to her husband.</p>
-
-<p>‘How hard you women are!’ he said. ‘Trust you for never forgiving or
-forgetting. Poor old lady, I should have thought anybody would have
-pitied her. But however it is none of my business. As for Ellen, she is
-a very handsome woman, though she is not so young as she once was. I
-should not wonder if she were to make a good marriage even now. Is it
-possible, Janet, after being so fond of her&mdash;or pretending to be, how
-can I tell?&mdash;that you would not like to say a kind word to Ellen now?’</p>
-
-<p>‘She would not think it kind from me,’ said Mrs. Merridew, still rigid,
-never raising her eyes from her work.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think she would: but at all events you might try,’ he said. All her
-answer was to shake her head, and he went away to his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a>{228}</span> dressing-room
-shrugging his shoulders and nodding his head in bewildered comments to
-himself on what he considered the hard-heartedness of woman. As for me,
-I kept looking at her with sympathetic eyes, thinking that at least she
-would give herself the comfort of a confidential glance. But she did
-not. It seemed that she was determined to ignore the whole matter, even
-to me.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish papa would take as much interest in us poor girls at home as he
-does in people that don’t belong to him,’ said Janet. ‘Mamma, I never
-can piece this to make it long enough. It may do for Marian’ (who was
-her next sister), ‘but it will never do for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are so easily discouraged,’ said Mrs. Merridew. ‘Let me look at it.
-You girls are always making difficulties. Under the flounce your
-piecing, as you call it, will never be seen. Those flounces,’ she added,
-with a little laugh, which I knew was hysterical, ‘are blessings to poor
-folks.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am sure I don’t think there is anything to laugh at,’ said poor
-Janet, almost crying: ‘when you think of Nelly Fortis and all the other
-girls, with their nice dresses all new and fresh from the dressmaker’s,
-and no trouble; while I have only mamma’s old gown, that she wore when
-she was twenty, to turn, and patch, and piece&mdash;and not long enough after
-all!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then you should not grow so,’ said her mother, ‘and you ought to be
-thankful that the old fashion has come in again, and my old gown can be
-of use.’ But as she spoke she turned round and gave me a look. The tears
-were in her eyes, and that pucker, oh, so deeply marked, in her
-forehead. I felt she would have sobbed had she dared. And then before my
-eyes, as, I am sure, before hers, there glided a vision of Ellen
-Babington in her profound mourning, rustling past Mr. Merridew on the
-stairs, with heaps of costly crape, no doubt, and that rich black silk
-with which people console themselves in their first mourning. How could
-they take it all without a word? The after-pang that comes almost
-inevitably at the back of a sacrifice, was tearing Mrs. Merridew’s
-heart. I felt it go through my own, and so I knew. She had done it
-nobly, but she could not forget that she had done it. Does one ever
-forget?</p>
-
-<p>And then as I went home I fell into a maze again. Had she a right to do
-it? To sit at table with that unsuspicious man, and put her arm in his,
-and be at his side continually, and all the time be false to him?
-Falsely true! I could not get the words out of my mind.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a>{229}</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I do</span> not now remember how long it was before I saw in the <i>Times</i> the
-intimation of old Mrs. Babington’s death. I think it must have been
-about two years: for Janet was eighteen, and less discontented with
-things in general, besides being a great deal more contented than either
-her friends or his desired, with the civilities of young Bischam from
-the Priory, who was always coming over to see his aunt, and always
-throwing himself in the girl’s way. He had nothing except his commission
-and a hundred and fifty a year which his father allowed him, and she had
-nothing at all; and, naturally, they took to each other. It is this that
-makes me recollect what year it was. We had never referred to the matter
-in our frequent talks, Mrs. Merridew and I. But after the intimation in
-the <i>Times</i>, she herself broke the silence. She came to me the very next
-day. ‘Did you see it in the papers?’ she asked, plunging without preface
-into the heart of the subject: and I could not pretend not to
-understand.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I saw it;’ and then stopped short, not knowing what to
-say.</p>
-
-<p>She had got a worn-out look in these two years, such as all the previous
-years in which I had known her had not given. The pucker was more
-developed on her forehead; she was less patient and more easily fretted.
-She had grown thin, and something of a sharp tone had come into her
-soft, motherly voice. By times she would be almost querulous; and nobody
-but myself knew in the least whence the drop of gall came that had so
-suddenly shown itself in her nature. She had fretted under her secret,
-and over her sacrifice&mdash;the sacrifice which had never been taken any
-notice of, but had been calmly accepted as a right. Now she came to me
-half wild, with the look of a creature driven to bay.</p>
-
-<p>‘It was for her I did it,’ she said; ‘she had always been so petted and
-cared for all her life. She did not know how to deny herself; I did it
-for her, not for Ellen. Oh, Mrs. Mulgrave, I cannot tell you how fond I
-was of that girl! And you saw how she looked at me. Never one word,
-never even a glance of response: and I suppose now&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear,’ I said, ‘you cannot tell yet; let us wait and see; now that
-her mother is gone her heart may be softened. Do not take any steps just
-yet.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Steps!’ she cried. ‘What steps can I take now? I have thrown altogether
-away from me what might have been of such use to the children. I have
-been false to my own children. Poor John meant it to be of use to us&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>And then she turned away, wrought to such a point that nothing but tears
-could relieve her. When she had cried she was better; and went home to
-all her little monotonous cares<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a>{230}</span> again, to think and think, and mingle
-that drop of gall more and more in the family cup. Mr. Merridew was
-again absent on circuit at this time, which was at once a relief and a
-trouble to his wife. And everybody remarked the change in her.</p>
-
-<p>‘She is going to have a bad illness,’ Mrs. Spencer said. ‘Poor thing, I
-don’t wonder, with all those children, and inferior servants, and so
-much to do. I have seen it coming on for a long time. A serious illness
-is a dangerous thing at her age. All her strength has been drained out
-of her; and whether she will be able to resist&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t be so funereal,’ said Lady Isabella; ‘she has something on her
-mind.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I think it is her health’ said Mrs. Spencer; and we all shook our heads
-over her altered looks.</p>
-
-<p>I had a further fright, too, some days after, when Janet came to me,
-looking very pale. She crept in with an air of secrecy which was very
-strange to the girl. She looked scared, and her hair was pushed up
-wildly from her forehead, and her light summer dress all dusty and
-dragging, which was unlike Janet, for she had begun by this time to be
-tidy, and feel herself a woman. She came in by the window as usual, but
-closed it after her, though it was very hot. ‘May I come and speak to
-you?’ she said in a whisper, creeping quite close to my side.</p>
-
-<p>‘Of course, my dear; but why do you shut the window?’ said I; ‘we shall
-be suffocated if you shut out the air.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is because it is a secret,’ she said. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave, tell me, is
-there anything wrong with mamma?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Wrong?’ I said, turning upon her in dismay.</p>
-
-<p>‘I can’t help it,’ cried Janet, bursting into tears. ‘I don’t believe
-mamma ever did anything wrong. I can’t believe it: but there has been a
-woman questioning me so, I don’t know what to think.’</p>
-
-<p>‘A woman questioning you?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Listen,’ said Janet hastily. ‘This is how it was: I was walking down to
-the Dingle across the fields&mdash;oh! Mrs. Mulgrave, dear, don’t say
-anything; it was only poor Willie Bischam, who wanted to say good-bye to
-me&mdash;and all at once I saw a tall lady in mourning looking at us as we
-passed. She came up to us just at the stile at Goodman’s farm, and I
-thought she wanted to ask the way; but instead of that, she stopped me
-and looked at me. “I heard you called Janet,” she said; “I had once a
-friend who was called Janet, and it is not a common name. Do you live
-here? is your mother living? and well? and how many children are there?
-I should like to know if you belong to my old friend.”<span class="lftspc">’</span></p>
-
-<p>‘And what did you say?’</p>
-
-<p>‘What could I say, Mrs. Mulgrave? She did not look cross or
-disagreeable, and she was a lady. I said who I was, and that mamma was
-not quite well, and that there were ten of us; and then she began to
-question me about mamma. Did she go out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a>{231}</span> a great deal? and was she tall
-or short? and had she pretty eyes “like mine?” she said; and was her
-name Janet like mine? and then, when I had answered her as well as I
-could, she said, I was not to say a word to mamma; “perhaps it is not
-the Janet I once knew,” she said; “don’t say anything to her;” and then
-she went away. I was so frightened, I ran home directly all the way. I
-knew I might tell you, Mrs. Mulgrave; it is like something in a book, is
-it not, when people are trying to find out&mdash;&mdash; oh, you don’t think I can
-have done any harm to mamma?’</p>
-
-<p>Janet was so much agitated that it was all I could do to quiet her down.
-‘And I never said good-bye to poor Willie, after all,’ she said, with
-more tears when she had rallied a little. I thought it better she should
-not tell her mother, though one is very reluctant to say so to a girl;
-for Willie Bischam was a secret too. But he was going away, poor fellow,
-and probably nothing would ever come of it. I made a little compromise
-with my own sense of right.</p>
-
-<p>‘Forget it, Janet, and say nothing about it; perhaps it was some one
-else after all; and if you will promise not to meet Mr. Bischam
-again&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘He goes to-night,’ said Janet, with a rueful look; and thus it was
-evident that on that point there was nothing more to be said.</p>
-
-<p>This was in the middle of the week, and on Saturday Mr. Merridew was
-expected home. His wife was ill, though she never had been ill before in
-her life; she had headaches, which were things unknown to her; she was
-out of temper, and irritable, and wretched. I think she had made certain
-that Ellen would write, and make some proposal to her; and as the days
-went on one by one, and no letter came&mdash;&mdash; Besides, it was just the
-moment when they had decided against sending Jack to Oxford. To pay
-Willie’s premium and do that at the same time was impossible. Mrs.
-Merridew had struggled long, but at last she was obliged to give in; and
-Jack was going to his father’s chambers to read law with a heavy heart,
-poor boy; and his mother was half distracted. All might have been so
-different; and she had sacrificed her boys’ interests, and her girls’
-interests, and her own happiness, all for the selfish comfort of Ellen
-Babington, who took no notice of her: I began to think she would have a
-brain fever if this went on.</p>
-
-<p>She was not at church on Sunday morning, and I went with the children,
-as soon as service was over, to ask for her. She was lying on the sofa
-when I went in, and Mr. Merridew, who had arrived late on Saturday, was
-in his dressing-gown, walking about the room. He was tired and irritable
-with his journey, and his work, and perennial cares. And she, with her
-sacrifice, and her secret, and perennial cares, was like tinder, ready
-in a moment to catch fire. I know nothing more disagreeable than to go
-in upon married people when they are in this state of mind, which can
-neither be ignored nor concealed.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t understand you, Janet,’ he was saying, as I entered;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a>{232}</span> ‘women
-are vindictive, I know; but at least you may be sorry, as I am, that the
-poor old lady has died without a word of kindness passing between us:
-after all, we might be to blame. One changes one’s opinions as one gets
-on in life. With our children growing up round us, I don’t feel quite so
-sure that we were not to blame.’</p>
-
-<p>‘<i>I</i> have not been to blame,’ she said, with an emphasis which sounded
-sullen, and which only I could understand.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh no, of course; you never are,’ he said, with masculine disdain.
-‘Catch a woman acknowledging herself to be in fault! The sun may go
-wrong in his course sooner than she. Mrs. Mulgrave, pray don’t go away;
-you have seen my wife in an unreasonable mood before.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am in no unreasonable mood,’ she cried. ‘Mrs. Mulgrave, stay. You
-know&mdash;oh, how am I to go on bearing this, and never answer a word?’</p>
-
-<p>‘My dear, don’t deceive yourself,’ he said, with a man’s provoking calm,
-‘you answer a great many words. I don’t call you at all a meek sufferer.
-Fortunately the children are out of the way. Confound it, Janet, what do
-you mean by talking of what you have to bear? I have not been such a
-harsh husband to you as all that; and when all I asked was that you
-should make the most innocent advances to a poor old woman who was once
-very kind to us both&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Charles!’ said Mrs. Merridew, rising suddenly from her sofa, I can’t
-bear it any longer. You think me hard, and vindictive, and I don’t know
-what. You, who ought to know me. Look here! I got that letter, you will
-see by the date, more than two years ago; you were absent, and I went
-and saw her: there&mdash;there! now I have confessed it; Mrs. Mulgrave
-knows&mdash;&mdash; I have had a secret from you for two years.’</p>
-
-<p>It was not a moment for me to interfere. She sat, holding herself
-hysterically rigid and upright on the sofa. Whether she had intended to
-betray herself or not, I cannot tell. She had taken the letter out of
-her writing-desk, which stood close by; but I don’t know whether she had
-resolved on this step or whether it was the impulse of the moment. Now
-that she had done it a dreadful calm of expectation took possession of
-her. She was afraid. He might turn upon her furious. He might upbraid
-her with despoiling her family, deceiving himself, being false, as she
-had been before. Such a thing was possible. Two souls may live side by
-side for years, and be as one, and yet have no notion how each will act
-in any sudden or unusual emergency. He was her husband, and they had no
-interest, scarcely any thought, that one did not share with the other;
-and yet she sat gazing at him rigid with terror, not knowing what he
-might do or say.</p>
-
-<p>He read the letter without a word; then he tossed it upon the table;
-then he walked all the length of the room, up and down, with his hands
-thrust very deeply into his pockets; then<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a>{233}</span> he took up the letter again.
-He had a struggle with himself. If he was angry, if he was touched, I
-cannot tell. His first emotions, whatever they were, he gulped down
-without a word. Of all sounds to strike into the silence of such a
-moment, the first thing we heard in our intense listening was the abrupt
-ring of a short excited laugh.</p>
-
-<p>‘How did you venture to take any steps in it without consulting me?’ he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought&mdash;I thought&mdash;&mdash;’ she stammered under her breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘You thought I might have been tempted by the money,’ he said, taking
-another walk through the room, while she sat erect in her terror, afraid
-of him. It was some time before he spoke again. No doubt he was vexed by
-her want of trust, and wounded by the long silence. But I have no clue
-to the thoughts that were passing through his mind. At last he came to a
-sudden pause before her. ‘And perhaps you were right, Janet,’ he said,
-drawing a long breath. ‘I am glad now to have been free of the
-temptation. It was wrong not to tell me&mdash;and yet I think you did well.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Merridew gave a little choked cry, and then she fell back on the
-sofa&mdash;fell into my arms. I had felt she might do it, so strange was her
-look, and had placed myself there on purpose. But she had not fainted,
-as I expected. She lay silent for a moment, with her eyes closed, and
-then she burst into tears.</p>
-
-<p>I had no right to be there; but they both detained me, both the husband
-and wife, and I could not get away until she had recovered herself, and
-it was evident that what had been a tragical barrier between them was
-now become a matter of business, to be discussed as affecting them both.</p>
-
-<p>‘It was quite right the old lady should have it,’ Mr. Merridew said, as
-he went with me to the door, ‘quite right. Janet did only what was
-right; but now I must take it into my own hands.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And annul what she has done?’ I asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘We must consult over that,’ he said. ‘Ellen Babington, who has been so
-ungrateful to my wife, is quite a different person from her mother. But
-I will do nothing against Mrs. Merridew’s will.’</p>
-
-<p>And so I left them to consult over their own affairs. I had been thrust
-into it against my own will; but still it was entirely their affair, and
-no business of mine.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Spencer and Lady Isabella called to me from their lawn as I went
-out to ask how Mrs. Merridew was, and shook their heads over her.</p>
-
-<p>‘She should have the doctor,’ said Mrs. Spencer.</p>
-
-<p>‘But the doctor would not pay her bills for her,’ said Lady Isabella.</p>
-
-<p>And I had to answer meekly, as if I knew nothing about it, ‘I don’t
-think it is her bills.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a>{234}</span></p>
-
-<p>This conversation detained me some time from my own house; and when I
-reached my cottage, my maid stood by the gate, looking out for me,
-shading her eyes with her hands. It was to tell me there was a lady
-waiting for me in the drawing-room: ‘A tall lady in mourning.’ And in a
-moment my heart smote me for some hard thoughts, and I knew who my
-visitor was.</p>
-
-<p>I found her seated by my table, very pale, but quite self-possessed. She
-rose when I went in, and began to explain.</p>
-
-<p>‘You don’t know me,’ she said. ‘I have no right to come to you; but once
-you came to&mdash;us&mdash;with Mrs. Merridew. Perhaps you remember me now? I am
-Ellen Babington. I want to speak to you about&mdash;my brother’s will. You
-may have heard that I have just lost&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I am very sorry. If there is anything I can do&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You can do all that I want from any one,’ she said. ‘Janet will never
-believe that I wanted to keep the money&mdash;now. I have seen all her
-children to-day at church; and I think, if she had been there, I should
-perhaps have been able&mdash;but never mind. Tell her I should like&mdash;if she
-would give her daughter Janet something out of the money&mdash;from me. She
-is a little like what her mother was. I am sure you are kind to them. I
-don’t even know your name.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Mulgrave,’ I said; and she gave a little bow. She was very
-composed, very well-bred, terribly sad; with a look of a woman who had
-no more to do in the world, and who yet was, Heaven help her! in the
-middle of her life, full of vigour, and capability, and strength.</p>
-
-<p>‘Will you tell Janet, please, that it is all settled?’ she said. ‘I
-mean, not the girl Janet, but her mother. Tell her I have settled
-everything. I believe she will hear from the lawyers to-morrow; but I
-could not let it come only from the lawyers. I cannot forgive her, even
-now. She thinks it is Matilda she has wronged; but it is me she has
-wronged, taking my brother from me, my only brother, after all these
-years. But never mind. I kissed the little child instead to-day&mdash;the
-quiet little one, with the gold hair. I suppose she is the youngest.
-Tell her I came on purpose to see them before I went away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But why send this message through me?’ I said; ‘come and see <i>her</i>. I
-will take you; it is close by. And the sight of you will do her more
-good&mdash;than the money. Come, and let her explain.’</p>
-
-<p>I thought she hesitated for a moment, but her only answer was a shake of
-her head.</p>
-
-<p>‘What could she explain?’ she cried, with strange impetuosity. ‘He and I
-had been together all our lives, and yet all the while he cared nothing
-for his sister and everything for her. Do you think I can ever forgive
-her? but I never forgot her. I don’t think I ever loved any one so well
-in my life.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, come and tell her so,’ said I.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a>{235}</span></p>
-
-<p>Again she shook her head. ‘I loved her as well as I loved him; and yet I
-hate her,’ she said. ‘But tell her I spoke to her Janet, and I kissed
-her baby; and that I have arranged everything with the lawyers about
-poor John’s will. I am sure you are a good woman. Will you shake hands
-with me for the children’s sake before I go?’</p>
-
-<p>Her voice went to my heart. I had only seen her once in my life before,
-but I could not help it. I went up to her and took her two hands, and
-kissed her; and then she, the stranger, broke down, and put her head on
-my shoulder and wept. It was only for a moment, but it bound us as if
-for our lives.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where are you going?’ I asked, when she went away.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am going abroad with some friends,’ she said hurriedly.</p>
-
-<p>‘But you will come to us, my dear, when you come back?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Most likely I shall never come back,’ she said hastily; and then went
-away alone out of my door, alone across the Green, with her veil over
-her face, and her black dress repulsing the sunshine. One’s sympathies
-move and change about like the winds. I had been so sorry for Mrs.
-Merridew an hour ago; but it was not for her I was most sorry now.</p>
-
-<p>And this was how it all ended. I was always glad that Mrs. Merridew had
-told her husband before the letter came next morning. And they got the
-money; and John went to the University, and Janet had new dresses and
-new pleasures, and a ring, of which she was intensely proud, according
-to Ellen’s desire. I dare say Ellen’s intention was that something much
-more important should have been given to the child in her name; but then
-Ellen Babington, being an unmarried woman, did not know how much a large
-family costs, nor what urgent occasion there is for every farthing, even
-with an addition so great as five hundred a year.</p>
-
-<p>I am afraid it did not make Mrs. Merridew much happier just at first.
-She wrote letters wildly, far and near, to everybody who could be
-supposed to know anything about Ellen; and wanted to have her to live
-with them, and to share the money with her, and I don’t know how many
-other wild fancies. But all that could be found out was that Ellen had
-gone abroad. And by degrees the signs of this strange tempest began to
-disappear&mdash;smoothed out and filled up as Nature smooths all traces of
-combat. The scars heal, new verdure covers the sudden precipice&mdash;the old
-gets assimilated with the new. By degrees an air of superior comfort
-stole over the house, which was very consolatory. Selina, the housemaid,
-married, and Richards retired to the inevitable greengrocery. And with a
-new man and new maids, and so much less difficulty about the bills, it
-is astonishing how the puckers died away from Mrs. Merridew’s
-forehead&mdash;first one line went, and then another, and she grew younger in
-spite of herself. And with everything thus conspiring in her favour, and
-habit calmly settling to confirm all, is it wonderful if by and by she
-forgot that any accident had ever<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a>{236}</span> happened, and that all had not come
-in the most natural way, and with the most pleasant consequences in the
-world?</p>
-
-<p>The other day I saw in a chance copy of <i>Galignani</i>, which came to me in
-a parcel from Paris, the marriage of Ellen Babington to a Frenchman
-there; but that is all we have ever heard of her. Whether it is a good
-marriage or a bad one I don’t know; but I hope, at least, it is better
-for her than being all alone, as she was when she left my house that day
-in June, having made her sacrifice in her turn. If things had but taken
-their natural course, how much unnecessary suffering would have been
-spared: Mrs. Merridew is, perhaps, happier now than she would have been
-without that five hundred a year&mdash;but for two years she was wretched,
-sacrificing and grudging the sacrifice, and making herself very unhappy.
-And though I don’t believe Ellen Babington cared for the money, her
-heart will never be healed of that pang of bitterness which her
-brother’s desertion gave her. His companion for twenty years! and to
-think his best thoughts should have been given all that time to a woman
-who had only slighted him, and refused his love. Mrs. Merridew does not
-see the sting of this herself&mdash;she thinks it natural. And so I dare say
-would half the world beside.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a>{237}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="THE_BARLEY_MOW" id="THE_BARLEY_MOW"></a>THE BARLEY MOW</h2>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> was but one little harmless house of public entertainment at
-Dinglefield, a place not without its importance among us, with its
-little farm, and the fly with the old white horse which was an
-institution on the Green, and very serviceable when there was luggage to
-be carried to the railway, or any party going on in bad weather when our
-pony carriages could not be used.</p>
-
-<p>This was the Barley Mow, a favourite and picturesque little village
-public-house, the most inoffensive article of the kind, perhaps, which
-was to be found for miles and miles around. The Green itself was not
-like the trim and daintily-kept greensward, with orderly posts and
-railings, which is to be seen in many suburban hamlets. It was long,
-irregular, and just wild enough to be thoroughly natural. The lower end,
-near the Barley Mow, was smooth and neat, the best cricket ground that
-you could find in the neighbourhood. But the upper part was still wild
-with gorse bushes, and bordered by a little thicket of rhododendrons,
-which had strayed thither from the adjacent park. Many a cricket match
-was played upon the lower Green, and on the bright summer Saturdays,
-when the cricket parties came, there was often quite a pretty little
-company from the surrounding houses to watch them, and a great traffic
-went on at the Barley Mow. It was an irregular old house, partly red
-brick, partly whitewashed, with a luxuriant old garden warm and sunny,
-opening through a green wicket set in a great hedge on the right hand. A
-signpost stood in the open space in front, where the road widened out,
-and by the open door you could see through a clean, red-tiled passage
-into the garden at the back, where the turf was like velvet, and the
-borders full of all kinds of bright and sweet old-fashioned flowers.
-There were neither standard rose-bushes nor red geraniums to be seen
-there, not that Widow Aikin, good woman, had any whim of taste that
-prompted her to despise these conventional inmates of the modern garden,
-but that the pinks and gilliflowers, the rockets and larkspurs, and
-great straggling rose-bushes were cheaper<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a>{238}</span> and gave less trouble, having
-established themselves there, and requiring no bedding out. The room
-which looked out upon this garden was where the strangers and
-gentlefolks who came from far were entertained, and there was a parlour,
-with a bow window in front, for humbler persons. But the favourite place
-in summer for that kind of ‘company’ was the bench outside the door,
-looking out upon the Green. There was little traffic of any kind in
-winter, but the summer aspect of the Barley Mow was a pleasant one. It
-had no air of stale dissipation about it, no heavy odour of spilt beer
-or coarse tobacco, but looked wholesome and sweet-smelling, a place of
-refreshment, not of indulgence. Anyhow, it was the fashion about the
-Green to think and say this of Widow Aikin’s clean, honest, respectable
-house. She was a favourite with all the ‘families.’ She served them with
-milk as well as beer, and fresh eggs, and sometimes fruit. She had all
-sorts of little agencies in hand, found servants for the ladies on the
-Green, and executed little commissions of many kinds. She was a
-personage, privileged and petted: everybody had a smile and a kind word
-for her, and she for everybody. She was always about, never standing
-still, glancing in and out of the red-tiled passage, the bow-windowed
-parlour, the sunny garden, the noisy stable-yard. You saw her
-everywhere&mdash;now this side, now that&mdash;an ubiquitous being, so
-quick-footed that she was almost capable of being in two places at once.</p>
-
-<p>It was a favourite subject with Mrs. Aikin to talk of her own
-loneliness, and incapacity to manage ‘such a house as this.’ She liked
-to dwell upon the responsibilities of the position and the likelihood
-that a lone woman would be imposed upon; and the Green generally
-considered this a very proper strain of observation, and felt it to be
-respectable that a widow should so feel and so express herself. But it
-was very well known that things had gone much better at the Barley Mow
-since Will Aikin managed very opportunely to be carried off by that
-vulgar gout which springs from beer, and has all the disadvantages with
-none of the distinctions belonging to its kindred ailment. There was no
-saying what might not have happened had he lived a year longer, for the
-creditors were urgent and the business paralyzed. It was this which made
-his death opportune, for the brewers were merciful to the widow, and
-gave her time to redeem herself; and when she was relieved from the
-necessity of nursing him and studying his ‘ways,’ which were as
-difficult as if the landlord of the Barley Mow had been a prince of the
-blood, the widow blossomed out into another woman. It is but a poor
-compliment to the lamented husband, but widows continually do this, it
-must be allowed, giving the lie practically to their own tears. Happily
-however Mrs. Aikin, like many others in her position, took her own
-desolation for granted, and attributed her increase of prosperity to
-luck or the blessing of God, which is the better way of stating it. ‘Oh!
-that poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a>{239}</span> Will had but lived to see it!’ she would say with kindly
-tears in her eyes, and never whispered even to herself that had poor
-Will lived it would never have been. She never missed an opportunity,
-good soul, of bringing him into her conversation, telling stories of his
-excellence, his good looks (he was one of the plainest men in the
-county), his good jokes (he was as dull as ditch-water) and his
-readiness in all encounters. She would stand in the doorway, with her
-apron lifted in her hand, ready to dry the tear which out of grief for
-his loss, or tremulous traditionary laughter over one of his
-pleasantries, was always ready to spring up in the corner of her eye.
-What did it matter to her that the poor old jokes were pointless? She
-never inquired into their claims, but accepted them as laughter-worthy
-by divine right.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Aikin had but one child, Jane, a modest, dark-eyed girl, with
-pretty fair curling hair, which gave her a certain distinction among the
-rustic prettinesses about. Her mother professed to be annoyed by the
-mingling of two complexions, protesting that Jane was always
-‘contrairy,’ that such light hair should have gone with blue eyes, and
-that she was neither one sort nor another; but in her heart she was
-proud enough of her daughter’s uncommon looks&mdash;and Jane was an uncommon
-girl. Next to the Barley Mow stood the smallest house on the Green, a
-little place half wooden, half brick, which would have been tumbledown
-and disreputable had it not been so exquisitely neat and well cared for.
-This was the poorest little place of all the gentry’s houses, but it was
-not by any means the humblest of the inhabitants of the Green who lived
-at the Thatched Cottage. Old Mrs. Mowbray was a very great person,
-though she was a very small person. She was the tiniest woman on the
-Green, and she had the tiniest income, but she was related to half the
-peerage, and considered herself as great a lady as if she had been a
-grand duchess. Nor did any one dispute her claim. The greatest people in
-the county yielded the <i>pas</i> to old Mrs. Mowbray, partly no doubt because
-she was very old and her magnificent pretensions were amusing, but
-partly also because they were well founded. There was not one house on
-the Green that had such visitors as she had. She was grand-aunt to a
-duke, and nobody would have been surprised to hear that in her own
-person she had a far-away right to the Crown&mdash;a right, let us say,
-coming by some side-wind from the Plantagenets, leaping over the other
-families who are of yesterday. Many people at Dinglefield called her the
-fairy queen. She had the easy familiarity of royalty with all her
-surroundings. What could it matter to her what were the small gradations
-of social importance among her neighbours and friends? She could afford
-to be indifferent to such trifling distinctions of society. Widow Aikin
-was not appreciably further out of the reach of this splendid little old
-poor patrician than Lady Denzil. Education was in favour of the latter,
-it is true, but there was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a>{240}</span> this against her, that it was possible for
-her to entertain some delusive idea of equality, of which Mrs. Aikin was
-guiltless. Mrs. Mowbray accordingly made no secret of the fact that she
-entertained a great friendship for the landlady of the Barley Mow, and
-was very fond of Jane. She had the girl with her a great deal, and
-taught her those pretty manners which were so unlike others of her
-class. When Jane was a growing girl of twelve or thirteen she used to
-wait upon the old lady’s guests at tea as a maid of honour might have
-waited. It was done for love for one thing, which always confers a
-certain grace; and it was not possible to move awkwardly or act
-ungracefully under the eye of such a keen critic.</p>
-
-<p>It was the general opinion of the ladies on the Green that this
-patronage might not be an advantage to Jane as she grew older, and it
-became necessary to choose what was to be her occupation in the world;
-but in this respect Mrs. Mowbray behaved with great wisdom. It was,
-indeed, against not only all her traditions, but all the habits of her
-mind to ‘put nonsense in the girl’s head,’ and disgust her with her
-natural position, which was what the other ladies feared. It mattered
-nothing to Mrs. Mowbray whether the girl became a pupil-teacher; or
-pushed upward in the small scale of rank, as understood at the Barley
-Mow, to be a nursery governess and call herself a lady; or remained what
-she was by nature, her mother’s right hand and chief assistant? Parties
-ran very high on the Green on this subject. It was fought over in many a
-drawing-room as hotly as if it had been a branch of the Eastern
-Question. Ought Jane Aikin to stay at the parish school with Mrs.
-Peters, whose favourite pupil she was, and become her aid and probable
-successor? Ought she, being so refined in her manners, and altogether
-such a nice-looking girl, to learn a little music and French, and become
-a governess? The ladies who were liberal, who believed in education, and
-that everybody should do their best to improve their position and better
-themselves, upheld the latter idea; but the strongest party was in
-favour of the pupil-teacher notion, which was considered a means of
-utilizing Jane’s good manners and excellent qualities, without moving
-her out of ‘her own sphere of life’&mdash;and this set was headed, by the
-Rector, who was very hot and decided on the subject. A third party, to
-which nobody paid much attention, and which consisted chiefly of Mrs.
-Aikin herself, the only real authority, intended Jane to remain where
-she was, head-waiter and superintendent at the Barley Mow. The question
-between the two first projects had already been warmly discussed in the
-drawing-rooms before it occurred to anybody that it could be Mrs.
-Aikin’s intention to do such injustice to her daughter, or indeed that
-the good landlady had any particular say in the matter. What! make a
-barmaid of Jane! The Rector was, it is to be feared, very injudicious in
-his treatment of the question. He attempted to carry matters with a very
-high hand, and went so<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a>{241}</span> far as to say that no modest girl could be
-brought up in ‘an alehouse,’ as he was so foolish as to call it, an
-opprobrious epithet which Mrs. Aikin did not forgive for years. She was
-so desperately offended, indeed, that she went to chapel for four
-Sundays after she heard of it, walking straight past the church doors,
-and proclaiming her defection to the whole world. Mrs. Mowbray was the
-person who was employed to set this matter right. She was waited upon by
-representatives of the two different parties, both of them feeling
-secure of her sympathy, but both anxious at all events to bring that
-foolish woman, Jane’s mother, to her senses. Mrs. Stoke was at the head
-of the governess set, and good Mr. Wigmore, our excellent church-warden,
-represented the Rector’s views. They met at the gate of the Thatched
-Cottage upon this mission. ‘I have not spoken to dear Mrs. Mowbray on
-the subject, because I feel so sure that she will be on our side&mdash;so
-fond as she is of Jane,’ said Mrs. Stoke. ‘Mrs. Mowbray is not the
-person to advocate any breaking up of the divisions which mark society,’
-said Mr. Wigmore. ‘<i>She</i> knows the evil of all such revolutionary
-measures.’ And thus they went in, each confident in his and her own
-cause.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mowbray sat by the fire in the big old carved ebony chair, which
-made her look more than ever a fairy queen. She had a handsome old ivory
-face, with a tinge of colour on the cheeks, which looked as if it might
-once have been rouge. Strangers considered that this peculiarity of
-complexion gave an artificial and even improper look to the old lady,
-but on the Green it was considered one of the evidences of that supreme
-aristocratism which would not take the trouble to disguise anything it
-pleased to do, but would rouge, if rouge was necessary, in a masterful
-and magnificent way, making no secret of it. However, as a matter of
-fact it was not rouge, but perfectly real, as was the fine ivory yellow
-of her old nose, a stately and prominent feature, evidently belonging to
-the highest rank. She would not have budged from her ebony chair to
-receive any one less than the Queen; but she permitted Mrs. Stoke to
-kiss her, and Mr. Wigmore to shake her hand, with serene graciousness.
-When they had both seated themselves she looked at them across her
-knitting with a smile. ‘This looks likes a deputation,’ she said. ‘What
-do you want, good people? If it is to settle about my funeral there is
-no hurry&mdash;for my cold is much better, and I have a good many things to
-see after before I can think of such luxuries.’ This distressed both her
-visitors, who did not like to hear an old lady speak of such serious
-matters in this light-minded way.</p>
-
-<p>‘Indeed, indeed, dear Mrs. Mowbray, it was nothing of the kind. When
-such a dreadful event occurs there will be weeping and wailing on the
-Green; and we all know very well that though you always talk so
-cheerfully, and so amusingly&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘You regard such subjects with the melancholy which becomes<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a>{242}</span>
-right-thinking people,’ said Mr. Wigmore; ‘but we came&mdash;or to speak for
-myself, I came&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘To speak of Jane Aikin,’ cried Mrs. Stoke, feeling the importance of
-having the first word, ‘and her mother’s inconceivable foolishness in
-keeping her at home; and the still more foolish step she has taken in
-separating herself from all her true friends.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Frequenting the Dissenters’ services,’ said Mr. Wigmore. ‘Few things
-more sad have come under my observation in this very distressing
-parish&mdash;which is really such a mixture of everything that is
-unsatisfactory&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘The parish is just like other parishes,’ said Mrs. Stoke, ‘only much
-better, I should say&mdash;so many educated people in it, and so few poor
-comparatively. But I am sure our dear old friend will agree with me that
-Jane is quite out of place&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Now, my good people,’ said the old lady, ‘think a moment&mdash;what do you
-mean by out of place?&mdash;Everybody is out of place now-a-days. I see
-people in this room calmly sitting down by me whose fathers and mothers
-would have come to the kitchen door fifty years ago; but if I made a
-fuss what would any one say?’</p>
-
-<p>This made Mr. Wigmore very uncomfortable, whose father had been a
-cheesemonger in a good way of business; but as for Mrs. Stoke she did
-not care, being very well born, as she supposed. Mrs. Mowbray, however,
-took them both in quite impartially. ‘Unless people really belong to the
-old nobility,’ she continued, ‘I don’t see that it matters about their
-place. It does not mean anything. Even in what we call the old nobility,
-you know, there’s not above half-a-dozen families that are anything like
-<i>pur sang</i>. I know dukes that are just as much out of place as Jane
-Aikin would be at Windsor Castle. The only place any one has a right to
-is where their ancestors are born and bred&mdash;if they have any. And when
-you have not rank,’ said the old lady, looking keenly at Mr. Wigmore,
-‘you had much better be <i>peuple</i>, as the French say. We haven’t got an
-English word for it. No, it doesn’t mean lower classes&mdash;it means
-<i>peuple</i>, neither less nor more. And Jane Aikin is pure <i>peuple</i>. She
-can’t be out of place where she is.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you forget her education, dear Mrs. Mowbray&mdash;and you yourself that
-have given her such a taste for beautiful manners, and spoiled her for
-her own common class.’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mowbray did not say anything, but she put on her spectacles and
-stared at her reprover. ‘I never spoil any one,’ she said; ‘out of my
-own condition&mdash;I make no secret of it&mdash;one girl is very much like
-another to me. They should all be pretty-mannered&mdash;I never knew <i>that</i>
-to spoil any one, small or great.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Dear Mrs. Mowbray, no; but if we could raise her to a position in which
-she would be appreciated. She has taken such a step out of her own class
-in associating with you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Associating&mdash;with me!’ Mrs. Mowbray took off her spectacles<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a>{243}</span> again
-after she had gazed mildly with a wonder beyond speech in the speaker’s
-face. Then she shrugged her shoulders slightly and shook her head. ‘I
-can’t recall at this moment any one in this neighbourhood who does that.
-I have a great many friends, if that is what you mean, and I am not so
-particular as most people about the little subdivisions&mdash;but associates!
-I don’t know any. Yes, Mr. Wigmore? you were going to speak.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am one of those who agree with you that the poor should be kept in
-their own place,’ said Mr. Wigmore. As he spoke the old lady took up her
-spectacles again, and deliberately put them on, looking at him as if
-(Mrs. Stoke said) he was a natural curiosity, which somewhat discomfited
-the excellent man&mdash;‘but, as our friend says, her manners and breeding
-are quite above her station.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Jane Aikin has no station,’ said Mrs. Mowbray promptly. ‘She is
-<i>peuple</i>, as I told you. I know nothing of your aboves and belows. Let
-her stay where she is, in her natural place, and do her duty. Do your
-duty in that condition to which God has called you: that’s what the
-Catechism says. There’s nothing about being above or below. Very lucky
-for her she’s got a natural place and her duty plain before her. If one
-had not one’s own rank, which of course one does not choose, that’s what
-I should prefer for myself: a distinct place and a clear duty&mdash;and
-that’s what Jane Aikin has.’</p>
-
-<p>‘In a public-house!’ cried Mr. Wigmore, aghast.</p>
-
-<p>‘In her mother’s house, sir,’ said old Mrs. Mowbray.</p>
-
-<p>Thus the Green was routed horse and foot; but the old lady on further
-talk accepted the position of mediatrix to bring back the Widow Aikin to
-her allegiance, and to show her her duty as a churchwoman. She sallied
-forth for that purpose the very next morning in her old quilted white
-satin bonnet and great furred cloak. She never changed the fashion of
-her garments, having had abundant time to discover what was most
-becoming to her, as she frankly said. Mrs. Aikin was standing at her
-front door, looking out upon the bright morning, when the old lady
-appeared. There was very little doing at the Barley Mow. The parlour
-with the bow window was full of a dazzling stock of household linen,
-which Jane and a maid were looking over, and putting in order. Jane
-herself had the task of darning the thin places, which she did so as to
-make darning into a fine art. This had been taught her by Mrs. Peters at
-the parish school. Perhaps it was not, after all, such a valuable
-accomplishment as it looked, but certainly Jane’s darning had a
-beautiful appearance on the tablecloths, after they had passed their
-first perfection of being, at the Barley Mow.</p>
-
-<p>‘The sunshine’s a pleasure,’ said Mrs. Aikin, making her best curtsey,
-‘and I hope I see you well, ma’am, this bright morning. It shows us as
-how spring’s coming. Might I be so bold as to ask you to step in and
-take a chair?’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a>{244}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Not this morning,’ said Mrs. Mowbray in her frank voice, not unduly
-subdued in tone, ‘though I’ve come to scold you. They tell me you’ve
-gone off from your church, you that were born and bred in it, and Jane,
-though I taught her her Catechism myself. Do you mean to tell me you’ve
-got opinions&mdash;you?&mdash;with a nice child like Jane to thank God for, and
-everything going well&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Aikin, growing red and smoothing her apron, ‘I
-don’t say as I’m one for opinions&mdash;more than doing your duty, and
-getting a bit of good out of a sermon when you can.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That’s very pious and right,’ said the old lady, ‘but your church that
-you were christened in is more than a sermon. I don’t pretend to get
-much good of them myself: but you’ll not tell me that you have left your
-church for that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, ma’am!’ said Mrs. Aikin, reluctant to commit herself. She put out
-her foot, and began to trace patterns with her shoe in the sand on the
-doorstep, and fixed her eyes upon the process. She could not meet the
-little old lady’s decided gaze. ‘Mr. Short at the chapel do preach
-beautiful, he do. You should just hear him for yourself. He’ll make you
-come all over in a tremble, when you’re sitting quite quiet like,
-thinking of nothing; and then he’s real comforting to poor folks and
-them as is put upon. It’s almost a pleasure to feel as you’ve had your
-troubles with the quality too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Quality! Where do you find any quality to have troubles with?’ said
-Mrs. Mowbray. ‘You and I have always been good friends. You don’t
-consider that you’re put upon, as you call it, because the Duke sent me
-my Christmas turkey. That was no offence to you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, ma’am, never&mdash;not you. There is them that shall be nameless&mdash;not
-but what <i>they</i> call names a plenty.’</p>
-
-<p>‘The woman’s thinking of the Rector, I declare. Quality!’ said Mrs.
-Mowbray with an accent of mingled amazement and amusement. ‘No, my dear
-woman, he’s not quality. But he meant no harm. He was thinking of the
-girl and her good. They think they know, these men; and we must submit,
-you know, to our clergy. It was because of his interest in Jane.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Interest in Jane!’ said Widow Aikin (she pronounced the name something
-like <i>Jeyeyn</i>; but the peculiarities of Berkshire are too much for even
-phonetic spelling), ‘if that shows an interest! telling her mother to
-her face as she wasn’t fit to bring her up decent and respectable, and
-showing no more confidence than that in the girl herself.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was his mistake,’ said Mrs. Mowbray, ‘he wants tact, that is what it
-is. He hasn’t the right way of doing a thing, my dear woman. That is how
-these middling sort of people always break down. My nephew, the Duke, if
-he had to send you to prison, would do it as if it were the greatest
-kindness in the world. But the middling classes have no grace about
-them. That’s not to say that you’re to give up your church that you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_245" id="page_245"></a>{245}</span>
-were christened in and married in. Who’s to bury you, woman? Do you
-never think of that? Not your Mr. Short at the chapel, I hope. At least
-I know he would never do for me. There ought to be more in your church
-than a sermon, or even than a pleasant word.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, ma’am, I don’t say but what that’s true; and I never thought of
-the burying,’ said the widow, hanging her head. She was subdued and
-awe-stricken at the turn which the discussion had taken, and, indeed,
-had never intended to forsake ‘her church,’ but only to make a
-demonstration of her independence. Jane had come out from the parlour,
-leaving her work to listen to this argument, with great anxiety and
-interest, for her heart was in it. She was hovering in the passage
-behind her mother, now and then giving her a little touch or pull to
-enforce something the old lady said. During the pause that followed she
-came forward very anxiously, and put forward a plea of her own, in which
-there did not seem much point or applicability.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, mother,’ she said softly, pulling her sleeve, ‘and Johnny in the
-choir!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, go along with your Johnnys,’ said the landlady of the Barley Mow.
-But it was clear enough that the victory was won.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> is full time that John should be spoken of, who was the other member
-of the family, and a very important one. He was Mrs. Aikin’s nephew, the
-son of a brother who was very poorly off and had been taken in by his
-good aunt as a miserable stunted child when he was but six or seven. The
-brother was a soldier, who had been discharged, and whose character it
-is to be supposed did not recommend him sufficiently to get any interest
-made for him, or to establish him anywhere in one of the occupations
-which seem made for old soldiers. Instead of this he had fallen into a
-kind of vagabondism, wandering from place to place, and as his wife was
-dead this only child had been miserably neglected, and was in a bad way
-when Mrs. Aikin took him to her kindly care. He had never been a
-prepossessing boy, and he did not at all share with Jane in the interest
-of the Green. He was heavy and lowering in his looks, quiet to outward
-appearance, though tales were told of him which were not consistent with
-this subdued aspect. Both the women however were devoted to John, either
-because they had no one else to be fond of, or because he possessed some
-qualities at bottom which made up for his faults of exterior. He
-certainly did not seem at any time to give himself much trouble to
-secure their affections. All that he did seemed to be done
-unwillingly&mdash;the very sound of his voice was churlish&mdash;and except Mrs.
-Aikin and her daughter nobody cared for the boy. From his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_246" id="page_246"></a>{246}</span> very first
-coming he had showed himself in an unfavourable light. He was then a boy
-of about eight years old, and little Jane, a delightful child,
-everybody’s favourite, was a year younger. One summer evening he was
-standing with his hands in his pockets staring at the waggons with their
-big horses, when she came running up to him.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come and play, Johnny,’ she said in her soft little voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘I won’t,’ he said, pushing her out of his way with his shoulder.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Johnny, come and have tea in the garden,’ said little Jane, ‘mother
-says we may. I’ve got some cake and some gooseberries, and my own little
-tea-things, and all the best shall be for you. Oh, Johnny, come!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I won’t,’ he said again, though he faltered when he heard of the cake.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Johnny, come to please me,’ cried the poor little woman, already as
-foolish in her expectations as if she had been twenty years older.</p>
-
-<p>‘To please you! I’d a deal rather please myself,’ cried the boy, once
-more thrusting her aside with a push of his shoulder. Little Jane was
-ready to cry, but the mother coming out full of business called to the
-children in her hasty way to go at once to the garden, and get out of
-her road. Upon which the boy shrugged his shoulders, and obeyed with
-brutish unwillingness and display of yielding to superior force. This
-was how he had been ever since. The little girl would coax and entreat,
-the kind mother give cheerful orders, never so much as seeing the
-lowering looks of rebellion.</p>
-
-<p>‘Poor boy!’ Mrs. Aikin would say, ‘he ain’t got no mother, and I can see
-by his solemn face many a day as he’s thinking and thinking of his poor
-father, which was never one as would settle down to anything. We has to
-do all we can to keep him cheerful, Jane and me.’</p>
-
-<p>Thus from the very first they made up their minds to spoil the loutish,
-unpleasant boy. The widow was continually praising him, and holding him
-up to the admiration of her neighbours. When it was found that he had a
-good voice, this gave them as much delight and triumph as if they had
-inherited a fortune, and when he made his appearance for the first time
-with the choir in his white surplice, the faces of the two were a sight
-to see, so glowing were they with satisfaction and delight. In this way
-the two cousins had grown up&mdash;the boy always sullen and downlooking,
-resisting rather than responding to the kindnesses heaped upon him, the
-girl always ready to smooth away every cloud, to say the best for him,
-to explain his moodiness and backwardness.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is only his way,’ Jane would say in her soft voice, and <i>her</i> way
-was so ingratiating and conciliatory that no one could stand against it.
-His aunt, too, was foolish in her affection for this unattractive hero.
-He was the son of the house, the young master, though he had not a
-penny. His opinion was always<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_247" id="page_247"></a>{247}</span> asked about everything, and his judgment
-constantly relied upon. It was true that the advice he gave was not
-always taken, for Mrs. Aikin was very active, and liked to manage
-everything her own way; but when it happened that he agreed with her,
-she would trumpet forth his praises and give him all the credit.</p>
-
-<p>‘I should never have thought of that but for Johnny. There’s no telling
-the sense of him,’ the good woman would say admiringly. All this special
-pleading however could not give the Green any interest in John. Nobody
-cared for him except the two who cared so much for him, and nobody
-believed in him, notwithstanding his imposing appearance in the choir
-and his beautiful voice. As he grew up this voice changed from its
-angelical soprano to a big melodious baritone. He was the chief singer
-at Dinglefield, and kept up the character of the place, which had always
-been noted for its choir, and indeed he was the only man in it to whom a
-solo could be entrusted. This made the Rector and Mr. Wigmore tolerant
-of the alehouse so far as he was concerned.</p>
-
-<p>Thus the little family at the Barley Mow were happy enough when the
-difficulty was got over about Jane. Of course Mrs. Aikin had the best
-right to settle what her daughter was to do, and whatever they might
-advise, neither the clergy nor the ladies could interfere on their own
-account in the matter. So that when Mrs. Aikin gave up chapel and came
-back to her own pew all was forgiven and forgotten, and Jane, though the
-maid of the inn, became a greater favourite than ever. She was liked as
-much as her cousin was disliked. Even the contact which she could not be
-altogether saved from, in her position, with the roughest and coarsest
-class did not seem to affect her. She went about and served the beer,
-and waited on the summer visitors as softly and as neatly as she used to
-serve the ladies at tea in old Mrs. Mowbray’s tiny drawing-room. She
-never took any notice of foolish things that might be said to her, and
-did not even seem to hear or see the squabbles and noisy talk that must
-always go on more or less about such places. In the cricketing time they
-were always very busy, and Jane no doubt had the additional temptation
-of the gentlemen who would have talked and flirted had she allowed them
-to do so: but she passed through everything like a humble Una, with a
-smile for everybody, but not a word that could have been objected to,
-had all the ladies in the Green sat in committee on her. Perhaps however
-her lout of a cousin did more for Jane than the ladies could have done.
-She was very modest and shy, and did not betray herself except to the
-keenest observation; but it was apparent enough to those who were
-chiefly interested that all her thoughts were for John. She was
-constantly doing his work for him in her quiet way, undertaking this and
-that to let him have a holiday, or go to a choral meeting, or have his
-innings at cricket.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_248" id="page_248"></a>{248}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Girls don’t want so much play as boys,’ she would say with a smile. And
-he took her at her word, and accepted everything she did for him as if
-it had been the most natural thing in the world. Strangely enough, her
-mother did not object to this. She spoiled and petted the clumsy fellow
-just as much as Jane did, and took it for granted that he should have
-all kinds of indulgences as if he had been a favourite son. The great
-terror of both of them was his vagabond father, who appeared now and
-then, a scandal to their respectability, and a standing danger to John.
-The two women were always in a fright lest this undesirable relative
-should lead their darling astray.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is such a good boy now&mdash;he has always been such a good boy,’ Mrs.
-Aikin said, with an uncomfortable sense that nobody accepted this
-statement as gospel, which made her more and more hot in giving it
-forth. And when old Mrs. Mowbray stopped in her walk to inquire after
-Jane and the poultry, the widow fairly wept over this one danger which
-threatened the family peace.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why do you let him come at all?’ the old lady asked peremptorily. ‘If I
-were in your place, I would order him off the premises. You have done
-too much for him already, my dear woman. When a man becomes a vagabond
-he has no more claim on his friends.’</p>
-
-<p>This did not at all please the landlady of the Barley Mow. Her honest
-face flushed, and she dried her eyes indignantly.</p>
-
-<p>‘Nature is nature, ma’am,’ she said; ‘good or bad, you can’t deny your
-own flesh and blood.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But I could keep my own flesh and blood at a distance,’ said the old
-lady, ‘especially if it has got more harm in it, and could do me an
-injury still.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is all that troubles me,’ said Mrs. Aikin. ‘I’d be as happy a
-woman as steps the Green, but for that. Nature is nature, and a father’s
-a father. And if so be as he was to put wild thoughts in our Johnny’s
-head&mdash;what would me and Jane do? La, bless you, it would break that
-girl’s heart.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And that is just what I am thinking of,’ said Mrs. Mowbray briskly.
-‘You are a silly woman. What has Jane’s heart got to do with it? You
-keep this boy by her side year after year. And now they’re growing man
-and woman, and what’s to come of it? What do you mean by it? That’s what
-I say!’</p>
-
-<p>‘La, ma’am, what could come of it? They’ve been brought up like brother
-and sister,’ the widow said with a laugh, and she went about with a
-smile on her face for the rest of the day. The other ladies made
-remonstrances of the same kind with equally little use. Of course it was
-very clear that this was what she had made up her mind to&mdash;that the two
-should marry and succeed her when she grew old, and carry on the
-business. It was all suitable enough and natural enough. And, of course,
-the fact that Jane was above her position made no difference. When a
-woman is above her position the best thing for her to do is to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_249" id="page_249"></a>{249}</span> conceal
-it carefully, and make the best of the circumstances. And she herself
-was not conscious of the fact of her superiority. Whether Mrs. Aikin had
-been so foolish as to communicate her ideas to Jane no one knew, but
-there could be little doubt that the poor girl took the arrangement for
-granted as much as her mother did. It was so natural! She had been fond
-of her cousin all her life, loving him with that most powerful of all
-kinds of love, the close tie of tender habit, the affection one has for
-the being whom one has protected, excused, and been good to all one’s
-life. If she had not pushed him softly through his work, coaxed him
-through his lessons, made the best of him to everybody, how could poor
-Johnny ever have got on at all? He wanted her backing up so perpetually,
-that it might be permitted to Jane to believe that he could not have got
-on without her. It is common to say that the love of a woman for a man
-has often a great deal that is motherly in it, and certainly this was
-the case here. It had been her duty to be kind to him, to make him feel
-himself at home, he who had no other home. All her own little pleasures,
-almost ever since she could remember, had been made secondary to
-Johnny&mdash;and what so natural as that this should go on? She took it for
-granted, poor girl. She scarcely expected to be courted as other girls
-were who ‘fall in love’ with strangers. It had not been necessary for
-her to fall in love. She had always been fond of her cousin. She had
-never thought of any other man.</p>
-
-<p>And poor Jane was as delicate in her love as any lady of romance. She
-had none of the romping ways of country girls of her class. Neither was
-she sentimentally disposed. Her modest look dwelt upon him now and then
-with a tender pleasure, especially when he was singing, which was the
-only thing about him which seemed to justify that delusion. But even
-this look was so modest and so momentary that only careful observation
-surprised it now and then. She held her somewhat embarrassing position
-with a serious grace which was almost dignity&mdash;making no advances on her
-part, though she was the crown princess, and had everything to bestow,
-yet never doubting, I think, poor girl, what the course of affairs was
-to be. Was it not natural that he should love her best as she loved him
-best? and that their life should go on as it had always done, with
-something added but nothing taken away? Such was the simple, happy tenor
-of Jane’s maiden thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>Whether John divined what the women took for granted it would be
-difficult to say. Perhaps he saw the advantages of being master at the
-Barley Mow, and the homage he received no doubt increased his natural
-loutish self-complacency&mdash;that stolid vanity which so often dwells in
-the minds of those who have nothing in the world to be vain of. He took
-it for granted on his side that he was the sun of this little world, and
-accepted everything as a natural homage to his fine deservings. He
-thought the more of himself for all they did for him, not of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_250" id="page_250"></a>{250}</span> them. As
-for Jane, her pretty looks, her superiority, her grace and good breeding
-were nothing to the lout. He would have liked her a great deal better
-had she been a noisy, laughing, romping girl. He accepted all the little
-sacrifices she made, and allowed her to do his work, with that satisfied
-consciousness that she liked it, which gave him the feeling of doing
-rather than receiving a favour. And very likely he might go on, and
-carry out the programme, and marry her in the same lordly way. For there
-could be no doubt that it was very much to his advantage, and that his
-position as Jane’s husband would be much more assured than that of Mrs.
-Aikin’s nephew. So things went on, day gliding into day, and summer into
-winter. They were both young&mdash;there was no hurry; and to quicken the
-settlement or alter anything from the pleasant footing on which it at
-present stood was not at all the widow’s wish.</p>
-
-<p>The picture would have been incomplete however had there not been
-something on the other side. When one man is indifferent to the goods
-the gods provide him it is almost certain there is another somewhere to
-whom these gifts would seem divine. Jane had always kept up her
-friendship with Mrs. Peters, the schoolmistress, who had trained her,
-and whose assistant the ladies on the Green had wished her to be. She
-was fond of going to see her in the winter afternoons when there was not
-much doing, and always found something to do among the girls, work to
-set right, or a class to look after which had wearied the
-schoolmistress: and she got on so well with them that it was clear the
-ladies on the Green had not been wrong in their idea of her powers. But
-while she thus came and went about the good schoolmistress whom she
-loved, another person had come into the little circle, of whom Jane took
-little notice. This was a brother-in-law of Mrs. Peters, who had been
-lately appointed schoolmaster, and was very highly thought of in the
-parish. He was ten years at least older than Jane, and appeared to her a
-middle-aged man, though he was scarcely over thirty. He was a good
-schoolmaster and a good man, a little precise in speech perhaps, and
-rigid in his ways, but true and honest and kind, anxious to be of real
-service to his pupils and everybody round him. It was not wonderful that
-his serious eye should be caught by the serious, gentle girl who was so
-sweet and so kind to his sister-in-law, so much at home in the school,
-so helpful, and so understanding. After he had taken tea half a dozen
-times in her company the good young man’s head became full of Jane. And
-he was not so instructed in the ways of the place as to be aware of Mrs.
-Aikin’s understood plans, or the kind of tacit arrangement by which
-everything seemed settled. He did not even know of John’s existence at
-first&mdash;and when he did become aware of him there seemed nothing alarming
-in the loutish lad, whose appearance and manners were not attractive to
-the outward eye. Mr. Peters, though the very name of a public-house was
-obnoxious to him, began to come out in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_251" id="page_251"></a>{251}</span> evenings, when that first
-winter was over, and would sit down in the shade on a bench outside the
-door of the Barley Mow, sometimes for hours together, within reach of
-all the noises, and of the smoking and beer-drinking, which were a
-horror to him, and not respectable even, or becoming in his position. To
-see him seated there in his black coat, with that air of respectability
-half ashamed of itself, was both comical and touching. It was said that
-the Rector spoke to him about it, pointing out that the Barley Mow,
-however respectable in itself, was not a place where an instructor of
-youth ought to spend his evenings, a reproach which cut to the
-schoolmaster’s very heart. But he was so far gone that he stood up in
-defence of the place where his beloved spent her life.</p>
-
-<p>‘Sir,’ he stammered, reddening and faltering, ‘I see a&mdash;person there:
-who is an example to&mdash;every one round.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You mean Mrs. Aikin,’ the Rector said. ‘Yes, yes, Peters, she is very
-respectable, I don’t say anything against her; but it is not a place for
-you to be seen at, you know.’</p>
-
-<p>And this was true, there could be no doubt. The schoolmaster after this
-would come late. He would be seen going out for a walk, passing the
-Barley Mow with wistful looks after his tea-time, casting glances aside
-at the cheerful bustle; and when the darkness was falling, and
-everything had grown indistinct in the twilight, some keen eye would see
-him steal to his accustomed seat and stay there, neither drinking nor
-talking, except to Jane when she passed him. He watched her taking the
-tray from her cousin’s hand, letting him go free for his cricket or his
-practice, sometimes even sending him indoors to take a hand at whist,
-and had begun to be angry with the young man for letting her do his work
-for him before he surprised the gleam of soft love and kindness in
-Jane’s pretty eyes which revealed the whole story. Was that what it
-meant? It was such a shock to him that the schoolmaster fell ill, and
-was not about the place for weeks. But at last he came back again, as
-people constantly do, to gaze at sights that break their hearts. The
-front of the Barley Mow was a cheerful place in these summer evenings.
-Mrs. Aikin allowed no rioting or excess of drinking on her benches, and
-she was as imperative as a little queen. And all the travellers who
-passed stopped there to get water for their horses and beverages not
-quite so innocent for themselves. The horses alone were a sight to see.
-The whole hierarchy of rank on four legs might be seen at the door. The
-beautiful riding-horses, slim and dainty, with their shy, supercilious
-looks; the carriage horses just a trifle less fine&mdash;the large, florid,
-highly-fed brutes in the drays, that made no stand on their quality, but
-looked calmly conscious of unlimited corn at home&mdash;the saucy little
-pony, ready for any impertinence&mdash;the shabby, poor gentleman in the fly
-who had seen better days, meek beast, broken-spirited, and
-unfortunate&mdash;the donkey, meeker still, but with a whole red revolution,
-if he could only but once get the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_252" id="page_252"></a>{252}</span> upper hand, in his eye. It was
-curious to sit there in the darkening of the soft summer night, and see
-the indistinct vehicles gliding past, and all the dim figures of men,
-while the stars came out overhead, and the heat of the day sank into
-grateful coolness. And what a dramatic completeness the humble, bustling
-scene took, when one perceived the little human drama, tragedy or
-comedy, who could tell which, that was going on in the midst, Jane
-regarding the loutish cousin who was not her lover with those soft eyes
-of tenderness as the stars regarded the earth: he altogether
-indifferent, caring nothing, taking a vulgar advantage of her weakness
-to save himself trouble; and the spectator in the corner, hidden in the
-shadows, who did not lose a look or a word, whose very heart was burning
-to see the wasted affection, and made furious by the indifference. Mr.
-Peters would have given all he had in the world could he have purchased
-that soft look from Jane; but the lout thought nothing of it, except so
-far as it ministered to his own rude self-satisfaction. Perhaps he had
-his grievance too. He would have liked to escape from this propriety and
-quiet to the noisy revels on the other side of the Green, where there
-was always some nonsense going on at the Load-o’-Hay, a kind of rival,
-but much inferior place, which was the one place in the world which Mrs.
-Aikin regarded with feelings of hatred, and which moved even Jane to
-something like anger. He would have liked to have had ‘a bit of fun’
-there, and left the steady business of the Barley Mow to take care of
-itself. How it was that neither Jane nor her mother perceived or guessed
-the discrepancy between his thoughts and theirs is past divining. The
-girl, at least, one would have thought, must have had some moments of
-distrust, some wondering doubts: but if so she never showed them, and as
-for Mrs. Aikin, she was too busy a woman to think of anything that did
-not come immediately under her eyes.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> state of calm, so full of explosive elements, could scarcely go on
-without some revelation, sooner or later, of the dangers below; and,
-again, the little old fairy queen, Mrs. Mowbray, had a hand in the
-revelation. Though she was so old, there was no more clear-sighted or
-keen observer in all the county; and, as her interest in Jane was great,
-it cannot be supposed that she had not seen through the complications
-about her. But as yet there had been no opening&mdash;nothing which could
-justify her in speaking particularly on this subject; and all that could
-be said in a general way had been already said. Her mind however was
-very much set upon it; and she had taken in with an eager ear all the
-gossip of her old maid about Mr. Peters, whose visits to the Barley Mow
-had been naturally<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_253" id="page_253"></a>{253}</span> much commented upon. Mrs. Mowbray, as has been
-already said, had a royal indifference to the particular grade of the
-people about her. They were all her inferiors; and, whether the
-difference seemed small or great to the common eye, it was one of kind,
-and therefore unalterable, in her impartial judgment. Acting on this
-principle, the loves of Jane and John at the Barley Mow were just as
-interesting as the loves of the young ladies and gentlemen on the Green,
-who thought much more highly of themselves.</p>
-
-<p>This being the case, it will be less surprising to the reader to hear
-that, when Mrs. Mowbray in her walks encountered the schoolmaster, she
-managed to strike up an acquaintance with him; and ere long had so
-worked upon him with artful talk of Jane, that poor Mr. Peters opened
-his heart to the kind old lady, though he had never ventured to do so to
-the object of his love. The way in which this happened was as follows.
-It was summer&mdash;a lovely evening, such as tempted everybody out of doors.
-The schoolmaster, poor man, had gone out to walk the hour’s walk which
-he imposed upon himself as a necessary preface to his foolish vigil in
-front of the Barley Mow, which had settled down into a regular routine.
-He made believe to himself, or tried to make believe, that when he sat
-down on that bench at the door it was only because he was tired after
-his long walk; it was not as if he went on purpose&mdash;to do that would be
-foolishness indeed. But he was no moth, scorching his wings in the
-flame&mdash;he was an honest, manly pedestrian, taking needful rest in the
-cool of the evening. This was the little delusion he had wrapped himself
-in. When he was setting out for his walk, he met Mrs. Mowbray, and took
-off his hat with that mixture of conscious respect and stiff propriety
-which became his somewhat doubtful position&mdash;that position which made
-him feel that more was expected from him than would be expected from the
-common people round. He was in his way a personage, a representative of
-education and civilization; but yet he did not belong to the sphere
-occupied by the ladies and gentlemen. This made poor Mr. Peters doubly
-precise. But as the old lady&mdash;whose lively mind was full of Jane, and of
-a little plan she had in her head&mdash;turned to look at him instead of
-looking where she stepped, she suddenly knocked her foot against a
-projecting root, and would have fallen had not the schoolmaster, almost
-too shy to touch her, and wondering much in his own mind what a
-gentleman would do in such an emergency, rushed forward to give his
-assistance. Mrs. Mowbray laid hold of him with a very decided clutch.
-She was not shy&mdash;she threw her whole weight (it was not much) upon his
-arm, which she grasped to save herself. ‘I was nearly over,’ she said,
-panting a little for breath, with a pretty flush rising into her pale
-old delicate cheeks. The shock stirred her old blood and made her heart
-beat, and brought a spark to her eyes. It did not frighten and trouble,
-but excited her not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_254" id="page_254"></a>{254}</span> unpleasantly, so thorough-bred was this old woman.
-‘No, I am not hurt, not a bit hurt: it was nothing. I ought to look
-where I am going, at my age,’ she said; and held Mr. Peters fast by the
-arm, and panted, and laughed. But even after she had recovered herself
-she still leant upon him. ‘You must give me your arm to my house,’ she
-said; ‘there’s the drawback of being old. I can’t help trembling, as if
-I had been frightened or hurt. You must give me your arm to my house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Certainly, madam,’ said Mr. Peters. He did not like to dispense with
-any title of civility, though (oddly enough, and in England alone) the
-superior classes do so; but he would not say ‘Ma’am,’ like a servant. It
-seemed to him that ‘Madam’ was a kind of stately compromise; and he
-walked on, himself somewhat tremulous with embarrassment, supporting
-with the greatest care his unexpected companion; and though she
-trembled, the courageous old lady laughed and chattered.</p>
-
-<p>‘You were going the other way?’ she said. ‘I am wasting your time, I
-fear, and stopping your walk.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, no, madam, not at all,’ said Mr. Peters; ‘I am very glad to be of
-use. I am very happy that I was there just at the moment&mdash;just at the
-fortunate moment&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you call it a fortunate moment when I hurt my foot&mdash;not that I have
-really hurt my foot&mdash;and got myself shaken and upset like this&mdash;an old
-woman at my age?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I meant&mdash;the unfortunate moment, madam,’ said Mr. Peters, colouring
-high, and feeling that he had said something wrong, though what he
-scarcely knew.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, fie! that looks as if you were sorry that you have been compelled
-to help me,’ said the old lady, laughing.</p>
-
-<p>Poor Mr. Peters had not the least idea how to take this banter. He
-thought he had done or said something wrong. He coloured up to the
-respectable tall hat that shaded his sober brows; but she stopped his
-troubled explanations summarily.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where were you going? It does not matter? Well, you shall come in with
-me, and Morris will give you some tea. You can tell me about your
-school&mdash;I am always interested in my neighbours’ concerns. You pass this
-way most evenings, don’t you? I see you passing. You always take a walk
-after your day’s work&mdash;a very wholesome custom. And then your
-evenings&mdash;where do you spend your evenings? Are there any nice people
-who give you a cup of tea? Do you go and see your friends? Yes, I am
-interested, always interested, to learn how my fellow-creatures get
-through their life; I don’t do much myself but look on, now-a-days. And
-you know life’s a strange sort of thing,’ said the old lady. ‘Nothing
-interests me so much. It isn’t a line of great events, as we think in
-our youth&mdash;the intervals are more important than the events. Are you
-dull, eh? You are a stranger in this place. How do you spend your
-evenings after you go in?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Madam, there is always plenty to do,’ said Mr. Peters; ‘a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_255" id="page_255"></a>{255}</span> master can
-never be said to have much leisure.’ And then he unbent from that high
-seriousness and said, with a mixture of confused grandeur and
-wistfulness, ‘In the circles to which I have admission there is not much
-that can be called society. I have to spend my evenings at home, or&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Or&mdash;&mdash;?’ said Mrs. Mowbray. ‘Just so, that is the whole business;
-alone, or&mdash;&mdash; But where is the ‘or’? So am I. I am alone (which I
-generally like best), or&mdash;I have friends with me. Friends&mdash;I call them
-friends for want of a better word&mdash;the people on the Green. They bore
-me, but I like them sometimes. Now, you are a young man. Tell me what
-‘or’ commends itself to you.’</p>
-
-<p>Thus exhorted, Mr. Peters hung down his head; he stammered in his reply.
-‘I am afraid, madam, you would think but badly of me if you knew:
-without knowing why. I go and sit down there&mdash;in front of Mrs. Aikin’s
-house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘In front of the Barley Mow! Dear me!’ she said, with well-acted
-surprise; ‘that is not the thing for a schoolmaster to do!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I know it, madam,’ said Mr. Peters with a sigh.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ said Mrs. Mowbray, with the air of one who is making an important
-discovery; ‘ah! I divine you at last. It is a girl that beguiles you to
-the Barley Mow! Then it must be a good girl, for they allow no one else
-there. Bless me! I wonder if it should be Jane!’</p>
-
-<p>‘You know her, madam?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah, it is Jane then? Mr. Schoolmaster&mdash;I forget your name&mdash;you are a
-man of penetration and sense; I honour you. A man who chooses the best
-woman within his knowledge&mdash;that’s the sort of man I approve of. It
-happens so seldom. Men are all such fools on that point. So it is Jane!’</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Peters breathed a long sigh. ‘She never looks at me, madam&mdash;she
-never knows I am there. You must not think she has anything to do with
-it.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ay, ay, that’s always the way. When the men show some sense the women
-are fools; or else it’s the other thing. Now, listen to me. You say, Do
-I know Jane? Yes, I know her from her cradle. Why, I brought her up!
-Can’t you see the girl has the manners of a lady? I gave them to her.
-There is nothing Jane will not do for me. And I like the looks of you.
-You’re stiff, but you’re a man. Do you think I should have come out of
-my way, and hurt my foot (oh, it is quite well now!) to speak to you, if
-I hadn’t heard all about this? I want to help you to marry Jane.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, madam, what can I say to you?’ cried Mr. Peters, not knowing in his
-bewilderment what might be going to happen. He was shocked in his sense
-of propriety by being told that he was stiff, and by the old lady’s
-frank avowal that she knew all about him after she had wormed his secret
-out of him; and he was excited by this promise of aid, and by the bold
-jump of his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_256" id="page_256"></a>{256}</span> patroness to the last crown of success. To <i>marry</i> Jane! To
-get a word from her, or a kind look, seemed enough in the meantime; and
-he did not know on the spot whether he was ready to marry any one, even
-this queen of his affections.</p>
-
-<p>He led Mrs. Mowbray to her door, and listened to her talk, divided
-between alarm and eagerness. She made everything so easy! She was
-willing to be his plenipotentiary&mdash;to explain everything. She would see
-no obstacle in the way&mdash;all he had to do was to put himself in her
-hands. The old lady herself got very much excited over it. She said more
-than she meant, as people have a way of doing when they are excited, and
-sent Mr. Peters away in the most curious muddle of hope and fear&mdash;hope
-that the way might be opened for him to Jane, fear lest he might be
-driven along that path at a pace much more rapid and urgent than he had
-meant to go.</p>
-
-<p>Next morning Mrs. Mowbray had made up her mind to send for Jane and open
-the subject at once&mdash;merely to represent to her how much more
-satisfactory this man was than such a lout as John. What a suitable
-union it would be! just her own quiet tastes and ways. And a man able to
-sustain and help her, instead of a lad of her own age, whom she would
-have to carry on her shoulders, instead of being guided by. The pleas in
-his favour were so strong, that the old lady could not see what pretence
-Jane could find for declining to listen to the schoolmaster. But she was
-not so certain about it next morning&mdash;and she neither went to the Barley
-Mow nor sent for Jane&mdash;but gave herself, as she said, time to think. And
-but for an accident that happened that very evening, prudence might have
-overcome the livelier impulse in her mind.</p>
-
-<p>That evening however Mrs. Mowbray went out again to see the sunset,
-taking a short turn down the lane from her house. The lane ran between
-her house and the Barley Mow, and a back door from Mrs. Aikin’s garden
-opened into it. It was a very green, very flowery bit of road, leading
-nowhere in particular except due west; and as the ground was high
-here&mdash;for Dinglefield stood on a gentle eminence raised above the rest
-of the valley&mdash;this lane of an evening, when the sun was setting, seemed
-to lead straight through into the sunset. It was an exceptional evening:
-the sunset glowed with all the colour that could be found in a tropical
-sky, and the whole world was glorified. It drew Mrs. Mowbray out in
-spite of herself; she had thrown a scarf over her cap and about her
-shoulders, being so near home, and was ‘stepping westward,’ like the
-poet, but with the meditative step of age which signifies leisure from
-everything urgent, and time to bestow upon this great pageant of Nature.
-To be so at leisure from everything in thought as well as in life is a
-privilege of the aged and solitary. And there is nobody who enjoys the
-beauty of such a scene or dwells upon it with the same delight. But the
-privilege has its drawbacks, like most human things. Those busy folks
-who give but a glance, and are gone,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_257" id="page_257"></a>{257}</span> have perhaps a warmer, because
-accidental pleasure: the more deliberate enjoyment is a little sad. Mrs.
-Mowbray however was one to feel this as little as could well be. She
-walked briskly, and her mind, even in the midst of this spectacle, was
-full of her plans. She was half-way down the lane, with all the light in
-her face, when she suddenly perceived two figures black against the
-light in front of her, standing out like black <i>silhouettes</i> on the glow
-of lovely colour. She saw them dimly; but they, having their backs to
-the dazzling light, and being totally unmindful of the sunset, saw her
-very clearly, and were much alarmed by her appearance. They had been so
-much occupied with each other that the sound of the old lady’s step upon
-some gravel was the first thing that roused them. The girl gave a
-frightened exclamation, and sprang apart from her companion, who for his
-part backed into the hedge, as if with the hope of concealing himself
-there. Though Mrs. Mowbray’s attention and curiosity were immediately
-roused, she did not even then recognize them, and they might have
-escaped her if they had not been so consciously guilty. The girl was the
-first to be detected. She ran off after that startled look, with a
-half-laughing cry, leaving the other to bear the consequences.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bless me! Ellen Turner. The little flirt! She is after some mischief,’
-Mrs. Mowbray said to herself; and even then she thought nothing of the
-young man. But he was not aware of this. He did not know that her eyes,
-which had been fixed on the glow in the sky, were dazzled by it, and
-unable to see him; and feeling himself detected, it seemed to John safer
-to take the matter into his own hands. He made a step into the middle of
-the road, in front of her. He could not have done anything less wise.
-Mrs. Mowbray was thinking only of Ellen, and nothing at all of the man
-she was fooling. This was the way she put it to herself: What did it
-matter who the silly fellow was? If he put any dependence on such a
-little coquette as that, he was to be pitied, poor fellow. The old lady
-had half a mind to warn him. But she was much surprised to find him
-confront her like this, and even a little frightened. And it was only
-now that she recognized who he was.</p>
-
-<p>He had forgotten what little manners he had, and all his awe of ‘the
-quality’ in the excitement of the moment. ‘You’ll go telling of us!’ he
-cried, in sudden excitement, almost with a threat of his clenched hand.</p>
-
-<p>A thrill of apprehension ran through the old lady’s frame, but she stood
-still suddenly, confronting him with the courage of her nature. ‘How
-dare you speak to me so, with your cap on your head?’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>John’s hand stole to his hat in spite of himself. He fell back a step.
-‘I beg your pardon, my lady; but I was a-going to say&mdash;You won’t say
-nothing to <i>them</i>?&mdash;It was a&mdash;accident&mdash;it wasn’t done a-purpose. You
-won’t tell&mdash;about <i>her</i> and me?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Whom am I to tell?’ The old lady had seized the position<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_258" id="page_258"></a>{258}</span> already, and
-it made her herself again. She perceived in a moment the value of the
-incident. And he had taken his hat off by this time, and stood crushing
-it in his hands. ‘I don’t mean nothing,’ he said. ‘It’s only a lark. I
-don’t care nothing for her, nor I don’t suppose she do for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That I’ll answer for,’ said Mrs. Mowbray briskly; ‘neither for you nor
-any one else, you vain blockhead! But if it’s only a lark, as you say,
-what are you frightened for? And what do you want of me?’</p>
-
-<p>He stared at her for a moment with his mouth open, and then he said,
-‘Haunt and Jeyeyne thinks a deal of you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I dare say they do,’ said the old lady; ‘but what of that? And they
-think a deal of you, you booby&mdash;more’s the pity. If you have a fancy for
-Ellen Turner, why don’t you let them know? Why don’t you marry her, or
-some one like her, and have done with it? I don’t say she’s much of a
-girl, but she’s good enough for you.’</p>
-
-<p>His hand gripped his hat with rising fury; the very dullest of natures
-feels the keen edge of contempt. And then he laughed; he had a sharp
-point at his own command, and could make reprisals.</p>
-
-<p>‘They’d kill her,’ he said, ‘if they knew it. They’re too sweet upon me
-to put up with it. They think as I don’t see what they’re after; but I
-see it fast enough.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And what are they after, if you are so clear-sighted?’</p>
-
-<p>‘They mean as I’m to settle down and marry Jeyeyne&mdash;that’s what they
-mean. They think, ‘cos I’m a quiet one, that I can’t see an inch from my
-nose. They think a fellow is to be caught like that afore he’s had his
-fling, and seen a bit of the world.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh,’ said the old lady; ‘so you want to have your fling, and see the
-world?’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is just about it, my lady,’ said the lout, taking courage. ‘I
-talks to <i>her</i> just to pass the time; but what I wants is to see the
-world. I won’t say as I mightn’t come back after, and settle down.
-Jeyeyne’s a good sort of girl enough&mdash;I’ve nothing to say against her;
-and she knows my ways&mdash;but a man isn’t like a set of women. I must have
-my fling&mdash;I must&mdash;afore I settle down.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And who is to do your work, Mr. John, while you have your fling? Or are
-you clever enough to see that you are not of the least use at the Barley
-Mow?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, ain’t I of use! See what a fuss there will be when they think I’m
-going! But Haunt can afford a good wage, and there’s lots of fellows to
-be had.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You ungrateful cub!’ cried the old lady; ‘is this all your thanks for
-their kindness, taking you in, and making a man of you! You were glad
-enough to find a home here when you were a wretched, hungry little boy.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Begging your pardon, my lady, I never was,’ said John, with a gleam of
-courage. ‘I’d have been a deal better with father if<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_259" id="page_259"></a>{259}</span> they’d let me
-alone. He’d a got me into the regiment as a drummer, and I’d have been
-in the band afore this. And that’s the sort of life to suit me. I ain’t
-one of your dull sort&mdash;I likes life. This kind of a dismal old country
-place never was the place for me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You ungrateful, unkind, impertinent’!&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Mowbray stopped short. She could not get out all the words that
-poured from her lips, and the sight of him there opposite silenced her
-after all. Mrs. Aikin’s goodness to this boy had been the wonder and
-admiration of everybody round. They had considered her foolishly
-generous&mdash;Quixotic, almost absurd, in her kindness; and now to hear his
-opinion of it! This bold ingratitude closes the spectator’s mouth.
-Perhaps, after all, it is better to leave the bramble wild, and the
-street boy in the gutter, and give up all attempts to improve the one or
-the other. But there is nothing which so silences natural human
-sentiment and approval of charity and kindness. Mrs. Mowbray was struck
-dumb. Who could tell that he had not even some show of justice in his
-wrong&mdash;something that excused his doubt, if nothing to excuse his
-unkindness? This strange suggestion took away her breath.</p>
-
-<p>‘They’ve had their own way,’ said John; ‘they did it to please
-themselves; and that’s what they’d like to do again&mdash;marry me right
-off&mdash;a fellow at my age, and stop my fun! But I’m not the sort to have a
-girl thrust down my throat. I’ll have my fling first, or else I’ll have
-nothing to say to it. Now, my lady,’ he added, lowering his voice, and
-coming a step nearer,’ if you’ll stand my friend! There’s nobody as
-Haunt and Jeyeyne thinks so much of as you. If you says it they won’t
-oppose. I don’t want to quarrel with nobody; but I <i>will</i> have my fling,
-and see the world!’</p>
-
-<p>‘And so you shall!’ cried Mrs. Mowbray; ‘if I can manage it. So you
-shall, my man! Get out of Jane’s way&mdash;that’s all I want of you. And I
-think better of you since you proposed it! Yes, yes! I’ll take it all
-upon me! There’s nothing I wish for more than that you should take
-yourself out of this. Have your fling! And I hope you’ll fling yourself
-a hundred miles out of reach of the Barley Mow!’</p>
-
-<p>John looked at her with dull amazement. What did she mean? His thanks
-were stopped upon his lips. For, after all, this was not a pleasant way
-of backing up. ‘Get out of Jane’s way!’ His heavy self-complacency was
-ruffled for the moment. ‘I don’t mind how far I go,’ he said, with a
-suspicious look.</p>
-
-<p>‘Nor I, I assure you,’ cried Mrs. Mowbray briskly; ‘I’ll plead your
-cause;’ and with that she turned round and went back again, forgetting
-all about the sunset. Nature is hardly treated by the best of us; we let
-her come in when we have nothing else in hand, but forget her as soon as
-a livelier human interest claims our attention. This was how even the
-old lady, who had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_260" id="page_260"></a>{260}</span> been so meditatively occupied by Nature, treated the
-patient mother now.</p>
-
-<p>Next day was Sunday, and of course Mrs. Mowbray could not enter upon the
-business which she had undertaken then. But when there is any
-undercurrent of feeling or complication of rival wishes in a family,
-Sunday is a very dangerous day, especially when the family belongs to
-the lower regions of society, and the Sunday quiet affords means of
-communication not always to be had on other days. This, of course, was
-scarcely the case among the household at the Barley Mow, but the habit
-of their class was upon them, and the natural fitness of Sunday for an
-important announcement, joined, it is to be supposed, with the fact that
-he had already unbosomed himself to one person, drew John’s project out.
-When Mrs. Mowbray accordingly took her way to Mrs. Aikin’s on the Monday
-morning, more and more pleased as she thought of it, with the idea of
-getting John out of the way, she saw at once by the aspect of both
-mother, and daughter that her news was no news. The two women had a look
-of agitation and seriousness which on Mrs. Aikin’s part was mingled with
-resentment. She was discoursing upon her chickens when Mrs. Mowbray
-found her way into the barn-yard. ‘They don’t care what troubles folks
-has with them, not they,’ she was saying with a flush on her cheek. ‘The
-poor hen, as has sat on her nest all day, and never got off to pick a
-bit o’ food. What’s that to them, the little yellow senseless things?
-And them as we’ve brought up and cared for all our lives, and should
-know better, is just as bad.’ Jane was putting up a setting of
-Brahmapootra eggs for somebody. She was very pale, and made no reply to
-her mother, but her hand trembled a little as she put them into the
-packet. ‘What is the matter?’ said the old lady as she came in. Jane
-gave her a silent look and said nothing. ‘La, bless us, ma’am, what
-should be the matter?’ said Mrs. Aikin. They were so disturbed that Mrs.
-Mowbray did a thing which she was not at all in the habit of doing. She
-departed from her original intention, and said nothing at all of her
-mission, concluding, as was the fact, that John himself had spoken. No
-later than that afternoon however her self-denial was rewarded, for Mrs.
-Aikin came to the Thatched Cottage, curtseying and apologetic. ‘I saw as
-you didn’t believe me, ma’am,’ she said. ‘There is nobody like you for
-seeing how things is. A deal has happened, and I don’t know whether I’m
-most pleased or unhappy. For one thing it’s all settled between Johnny
-and Jane.’</p>
-
-<p>‘All settled!’ the old lady was so much surprised that she could
-scarcely speak.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, ma’am, thank you, the poor dears! I always said that as soon as he
-knew his own mind&mdash;There ain’t a many lads as one can see through like
-our John.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You didn’t wish it then?’ said Mrs. Mowbray. ‘I should have thought
-this morning that something bad had happened. You<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_261" id="page_261"></a>{261}</span> didn’t wish it! Then
-we’ve all been doing you injustice, my dear woman, for I thought you had
-set your heart on this all along.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And so I have; and I’m as happy&mdash;<i>that</i> happy I don’t know what to do
-with myself,’ said Mrs. Aikin, putting her apron to her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Happy! nobody would think it to look at you&mdash;nor Jane. I thought I knew
-you like my A, B, C, but now I can’t tell a bit what you mean.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Jane, she’s all of a flutter still, and she’s that humble-minded, all
-her thought is, will she make him happy? But you don’t suppose, ma’am,
-as I think any such nonsense&mdash;lucky to get her, I say, and so does
-everybody. It ain’t that. But he’s been seeing his father, and his
-father’s put nonsense in the lad’s head. I always said as he’d do it.
-Johnny’s the best of boys; he’d never have thought of such a thing if it
-hadn’t been put in his head. He says he wants to go out into the world
-and see a bit of life afore he settles down.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And that is what troubles you? If I were you I should let him go,’ said
-the old lady. ‘Lucky! I should think he was lucky. A young fellow like
-that! He is not half good enough for Jane.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, ma’am,’ said Mrs. Aikin, half ruffled, half pleased, ‘it is well
-known who was always your pet, and a great honour for her and me
-too&mdash;and I don’t know how it is as folks do such injustice to our John.
-It’s all the father, well I know; leave him to himself and a better boy
-couldn’t be. But I’ve written him a letter and given him a piece of my
-mind. It’s him as always puts fancies in the boy’s head. See the world!
-Where could he see the world better than at the Barley Mow! Why there’s
-a bit of everything at our place. There’s them gentlemen cricketers in
-the summer, and the best quality in the kingdom coming and going at
-Ascot time, and London company in the best parlours most every Sunday
-through the season. All sorts there is. There was never a week, summer
-or winter, so long as I can remember, but something was going on at the
-Barley Mow. Summer, it’s nothing but taking money from morning to night.
-I don’t mean to say,’ said Mrs. Aikin, suddenly recollecting that this
-sounded like a confession of large profits such as no woman in trade
-willingly acknowledges&mdash;‘I don’t mean to say as the expenses ain’t
-great, or as it’s all profit, far from it. But what I says to Johnny I
-don’t deny anywhere&mdash;it’s a living&mdash;and it’s the amusingest living and
-the most variety of any I know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And yet he wants to see the world; there’s no accounting for men’s
-depravity. Do you mean to let him go?’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Aikin laughed. ‘I ain’t a good one to deceive,’ she said; ‘this
-morning I was all in a way, but now I’ve had time to think. You know
-yourself, ma’am, that to say “No” is the way to make a boy more
-determined than ever. Seemingly I’m a giving in, but I don’t mean to
-take no steps one way or other. I’ll let<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_262" id="page_262"></a>{262}</span> things take their course. And
-now that Jane and him understands one another, and the summer trade’s so
-brisk, who can say? Maybe it’ll go out of his head if he ain’t opposed.
-I’ve give my consent&mdash;so far as words goes&mdash;but I tell him as there’s no
-hurry. We can wait.’</p>
-
-<p>She laughed again in thorough satisfaction with her own tactics. And
-Mrs. Mowbray, with a different sentiment, echoed the laugh. ‘Yes, we can
-wait,’ the old lady said; ‘my poor little Jane!’ That was all, but it
-made Mrs. Aikin angry, she could not tell why.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Peters at this period kept putting himself perpetually in Mrs.
-Mowbray’s way. He went past her house for his walk, he came back again
-past the Thatched Cottage. She could scarcely go out in the evening that
-he did not turn up in her path: and for some days the old lady was cruel
-enough to say nothing to him. At last one evening she called the poor
-schoolmaster to her. ‘You must make up your mind to it like a man,’ she
-said, ‘Jane is going to marry her cousin. It is all settled. The mother
-told me, like a fool.’</p>
-
-<p>‘All settled!’ Poor Mr. Peters grew so pale that she thought he was
-going to faint. ‘I saw him,’ he gasped, ‘only yesterday, with&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Never mind, yes; that’s quite true,’ said the old lady. ‘That woman has
-settled it like a fool. They are going to throw the girl away among
-them. But we cannot do anything. You must make up your mind to it like a
-man.’</p>
-
-<p>The schoolmaster’s stiffness and embarrassment all melted away under the
-influence of strong feeling. He took off his hat unconsciously, showing
-a face that was like ashes. ‘Then God bless her,’ he said, ‘and turn
-away the evil. If she is happy, what does it matter about me!’</p>
-
-<p>‘She will never be happy,’ said the old lady, ‘never, with that lout;
-and the thing for us to do is to wait. I tell you, what you’ve got to do
-is to wait. After all, the devil seldom gets things all his own way.’</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Peters put on his hat again, and went away with a heavy heart. He
-did not go near the Barley Mow. He went home to his room, and sat there
-very desolate, reading poetry. He could bear it, he thought; but how
-could she bear it when she came to hear of Ellen Turner and those
-meetings in the lane?</p>
-
-<p>At present however nothing was known of Ellen Turner at the Barley Mow.
-The very next Sunday after that the women had forgotten all the dangers
-of John’s perversity, and remembered only the fact of the engagement,
-and that all doubt was over on the point which they thought so essential
-to their happiness. Mrs. Aikin had a new bonnet on, resplendent in red
-ribbons, and the happiness in Jane’s face was better than any new
-bonnet. As it happened, there was a solo in the anthem that day which
-John sang standing up in his white surplice, and rolling out Handel’s
-great notes so that they filled<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_263" id="page_263"></a>{263}</span> the church. He had a beautiful voice,
-and while he sang poor Jane’s face was a sight to see: her countenance
-glowed with a kind of soft rapture. She clasped her hands unawares with
-the prayer-book held open in them, her eyes were raised, her lips apart,
-her nostrils slightly dilated. She had the look of a votary making a
-special offering. Poor simple Jane! There was no consciousness in her
-mind of any elevation above the rest, as she lifted that ineffable look,
-and praised God in a subdued ecstasy, offering to Him the voice of her
-beloved. For the moment Jane was as the prophets, as the poets, raised
-up above everything surrounding her, triumphing even over the doubt that
-was too ready to invade her mind at other times. She was but a country
-girl, the maid of the inn, occupying the most unelevated and most
-unelevating of positions, but yet no lady of romance could have stood on
-a higher altitude, for the time.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> however was the last time that Jane’s look of modest, silent
-happiness could touch any heart. Whether she caught sight of some
-private telegraphing which passed between her newly-betrothed and Ellen
-Turner in the very church that very day, is not known, but other people
-saw it with wonder and forebodings. Mr. Peters, who had seen the rapture
-in Jane’s upturned face with a mingled pity and sympathy and pain which
-made him, too, heroic for the moment, perceived the nod and look of
-intelligence which passed between the baritone in the surplice and the
-little dressmaker in the free seats with an impulse of suppressed wrath
-which it took all the moral force he could command to resist. It was the
-first time the betrothed pair had appeared, as it were, in public, since
-it was known that ‘all was settled.’ And was it for this, for a vulgar
-reprobate who betrayed her at the moment of union, while the first
-happiness ought still to have been in delicate blossom, that she had
-overlooked altogether the far more worthy love of the other? He could
-not help wondering over that any more than Jane herself, a little while
-later, could help wondering. The best thrown aside, the worst chosen&mdash;is
-not this a far more poignant and wonderful evil than the tyrannies of
-parents or hindrances of fate which keep lovers apart? But no more from
-that day did Jane’s celestial content wound any sufferer. She grew
-grave, pale, almost visibly older from that moment. She withdrew herself
-from everybody. Even the old lady at the Thatched Cottage, who depended
-upon her for so many things, did not see her for weeks together. And
-their next meeting was a chance one, and took place on an August
-evening, about a month after these events. How Jane could have kept out
-of sight for so long was a mystery which nobody could have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_264" id="page_264"></a>{264}</span> explained;
-but she had managed it somehow, sending respectful messages of regret by
-her mother. This time they met face to face without warning, as Mrs.
-Mowbray was returning in the cool of the evening from Sir Thomas
-Denzil’s, where she had been dining. The old lady sent her maid away
-instantly, so anxious was she to have a conversation with her favourite.
-Jane for her part would fain have escaped, but she could not be rude to
-her kind old patroness, and Mrs. Mowbray took her arm quite eagerly.
-‘You may go home, Morris,’ she said; and almost without waiting till the
-maid was gone, ‘What has become of you, Jane? Where have you been
-hiding? Is it because you are so happy, my dear, or for some other
-reason, that you run away from me?’ A nervous quiver went over poor
-Jane; she said with a trembling voice, ‘For another reason.’ She did not
-even look her old friend in the face.</p>
-
-<p>‘Then what is it, my dear? Come, tell me. Don’t you know, whatever it
-is, you can’t hide it from me?’</p>
-
-<p>To this Jane made answer by drooping her head and turning away her face;
-and then she pressed the old lady’s hand, which was on her arm, to her
-side, and said hastily, ‘I was coming&mdash;I wanted you to speak for me&mdash;oh!
-ma’am, if you would speak to mother! about&mdash;about&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘What! my poor little Jane! What, dear? Tell me, tell me freely,’ said
-the old lady, almost crying. There could be but one subject that could
-excite the poor girl so.</p>
-
-<p>‘About John’s going away. Oh, he’s sick of this quiet place! I can see
-it&mdash;and mother takes no notice. Men are not like us women. He’s dying to
-get away, and mother she can’t see it. She humours him in words, but she
-will not do anything. Oh, ma’am, speak for us! He’s had all we have to
-give him, and he’s tired of it, and he will never be happy till he gets
-away.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you wish him to go?&mdash;You, Jane?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes,’ she cried passionately, ‘I wish it too!&mdash;it will make me happier.
-I mean not so&mdash;miserable. Oh, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. I am all
-confused like. I know&mdash;I know it’s for his good to go away&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘But it’s your good I think of&mdash;and your mother, too,’ said Mrs.
-Mowbray. ‘We care for you, and not for him. You’ve avoided me, Jane, and
-never told me if you were happy&mdash;now that you’re engaged, you and he.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It was a mistake,’ she said, ‘all a mistake! We didn’t know our own
-minds. Don’t you know, ma’am, that happens sometimes? I always felt it
-was a mistake: but mother deceived herself. It’s so easy to believe what
-you wish. And he deceived himself. But now that he’s done it it drives
-him wild&mdash;&mdash; Oh, he must go&mdash;that’s the only thing that will do any
-good. If she would only see it, and let him go!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you want to break it off, Jane?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh,’ she cried, with a moan, ‘break it off! Am I one to break <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_265" id="page_265"></a>{265}</span>it off?
-But he can’t abide the place, and he wants to go.&mdash;&mdash; If he has any
-true&mdash;respect&mdash;for me&mdash;he’ll feel it when he’s gone. That’s what I
-think. Oh! ma’am, speak a word to mother, and tell her to let him go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There is more in your mind,’ said the old lady: ‘but if it is as
-serious as this&mdash;I’ll go there straight, my dear. I’ll go straight and
-speak to your mother. I know you’ve got more in your mind.’</p>
-
-<p>Jane did not make any reply, but quickened her steps to keep up with the
-active old woman as she hurried on. Poor Jane was past all make-believe.
-‘Think!’ she said, almost under her breath, ‘what it is when he comes
-and pretends to be fond of me&mdash;&mdash; Oh, ma’am! pretends as if he loved
-me&mdash;after all I know!’ She wrung her hands, and there was a suppressed
-anguish in her voice, such as only a tender creature outraged could have
-been driven to. Then Mrs. Mowbray, who knew all the gossip of the place,
-remembered to have heard that Ellen Turner, who was a dressmaker, had
-been working at Mrs. Aikin’s&mdash;no doubt that was the cause. She went
-along quickly, almost dragging the girl with her. It was a beautiful
-evening, soft and cool after a hot day. The lights were beginning to
-twinkle about the Barley Mow. There were people sitting out on the
-bench, and people visible at the open windows with the lights behind
-them, and a murmur of cheerful voices. The scene was very homely, but
-the night was so soft, the shadows so grateful upon the refreshed earth,
-the dews so sweet, and nothing but rest and refreshment in the air.
-Overhead the sky was veiled, a few modest stars peeping from the edges
-of the clouds, nothing bright to jar upon the subdued quiet. All this
-went to Jane’s heart. She began to cry softly, as she looked with
-wistful eyes at her home. The sensation subdued her. So peaceful and
-quiet, with the vague, half-dim figures about, the cheerful lights in
-the windows, was it possible that there could be such trouble there?</p>
-
-<p>But all at once there came a jarring note into this tranquillity&mdash;the
-sound of a woman’s voice raised in anger. They were going towards the
-garden door, but before they reached it somebody was pushed out
-violently, and, half falling forward, came stumbling against Jane, who
-was straight in the way. ‘Get out of my sight, you little baggage, you
-treacherous, wicked, lying creature, you bad girl!’ cried Mrs. Aikin in
-a furious voice. Jane clutched at Mrs. Mowbray’s arm, and shrank back,
-while the girl who had stumbled against her gave a sudden scream of
-dismay. It was Ellen Turner, her cheeks blazing red with anger, though
-the sight of Jane cowed her. ‘What have you been doing, you little
-flirt?’ cried old Mrs. Mowbray. ‘If a man speaks to me, ain’t I to give
-him a civil answer?’ cried the girl, standing still, and preparing to
-give battle. Jane did not say a word. She shook herself free of the old
-lady without knowing what she did, and went in to her mother, without as
-much as a look at the other. As soon as she had disappeared John showed
-himself out of the darkness like a spectre. ‘Run, Nell, run,’ he said.
-‘She’s to-morrow. She’s in Jane’s hands,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_266" id="page_266"></a>{266}</span> I’ll see you safe now. Run.
-Nell, run.’ And he darted back again among the guests, and threw himself
-into his work with devotion. Never before had John been seen so busy and
-so civil. Who could interfere with him in the middle of his work? He was
-as safe as if he had been at church.</p>
-
-<p>What had happened was that Mrs. Aikin had found her nephew and the
-little dressmaker together, on very affectionate terms, and her outburst
-of sudden wrath was very hot and violent. But after the first moment it
-was entirely against Ellen that her anger was directed, and she was as
-little willing as before to listen to Mrs. Mowbray’s suggestion that he
-should be sent away. She was, like most women of her class, perhaps like
-most women of all classes, furious against the girl, half sorry for,
-half contemptuous of, the man. ‘Lord, what could Johnny do against one
-of them artful things?’ she said, when she had calmed down. ‘It’s Jane’s
-fault, as don’t talk to him enough, nor keep him going. That minx shall
-never set foot in my house again.’ Jane said very little while her
-mother talked thus. She was very pale, and her breath came quickly, but
-she betrayed no emotion either of grief or anger. She stood still by her
-mother’s side while Mrs. Aikin cried and sobbed. Jane was past all that.
-She said, ‘He don’t know his own mind, mother. Let him go as he wishes.’
-They were both made incapable of work by this sudden incident. But
-John&mdash;John had turned into a model of industry and carefulness. While
-the two women retired into their little parlour with the door shut, he,
-safe from all interference, kept everything going. He ran about here and
-there, attending to everybody, civil and thoughtful. When he was asked
-what was the matter, he answered carelessly, ‘Some row among the women,’
-as if that was too trifling and too everyday a matter for his notice. He
-had never shown so much cleverness in all his life before.</p>
-
-<p>Even after this however the widow still temporized. Yes, she said in
-words, she would let him go, but after the bustle was over&mdash;after the
-summer work was done with. She gave a hundred excuses, and invented new
-reasons constantly for her delay. Jane said little, having said all she
-could. A new reserve crept over her, she talked to nobody&mdash;went no more
-to talk to Mrs. Peters, and never saw her old friend at the Thatched
-Cottage when she could help it. She was sick of her false position, as
-well as of those pangs which she told to nobody, which were all shut up
-in her own heart. No more in church or otherwise did the look of
-happiness come back to her face. When John sang she would stand with her
-eyes fixed on her book, or else would cover her face with her hand. The
-beautiful song was no longer hers to be offered up to God’s praise. But
-sometimes during the sermon her eyes would turn unconsciously to that
-foolish pretty face in the free seats&mdash;the pink and white countenance of
-Ellen Turner, inferior in beauty as in everything else to herself. ‘What
-is there in her that is better than me? Why should she be preferred to
-me?’ was what Jane<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_267" id="page_267"></a>{267}</span> was asking herself, with a wondering pain that was
-half self-abasement and half indignation. Just so good Mr. Peters, in
-the school pew, gazed from her to the loutish baritone in his surplice
-and back again. Why should fate be so contradictory and hearts so
-bitterly deceived?</p>
-
-<p>This state of affairs however could not go on very long&mdash;and it came to
-a conclusion quite suddenly at last. There was an agricultural show in
-the neighbourhood some twenty miles off from Dinglefield, to which all
-the rural people of the neighbourhood, and John among them, went at the
-end of August. In other circumstances Jane would have gone with her
-cousin; but she had no heart for shows of any kind. In the evening most
-of the Dinglefield people came home, but not John. Mrs. Aikin was
-evidently frightened by his non-appearance, but she made the best of it.
-‘He had gone off with some of his friends,’ she said, ‘and of course he
-had missed his train. He was always missing trains. He was the
-carelessest lad!’ But when next day came, and the next, with no news of
-John, the mother and daughter could no longer disguise their alarm. The
-widow ‘was in such a way’ that her friends gathered round her full of
-condolence and encouragements; and Mrs. Mowbray herself put on her
-bonnet, and went to tell her not to be a fool, and to bid her remember
-that young men cannot be held in like girls. ‘I know that, ma’am, I know
-that,’ said Mrs. Aikin, soothed. The rest of her consolers had
-encouraged her by telling her they had always foreseen it, and that this
-was what over-indulgence always came to at last. The widow turned her
-back upon these Job’s comforters, and clutched at Mrs. Mowbray’s shawl.
-‘I’ve held him too tight, ma’am, and I should have taken your advice,’
-she said. They had sent expresses in all directions in search of him,
-and that very evening they had information that he had enlisted in the
-regiment to which his father had formerly belonged, and which was at the
-time quartered in the town where the show had been held. This is always,
-though it is hard to say why, terrible news for a decent family.
-‘<span class="lftspc">’</span>Listed!’ do not all the vagabonds, the good-for-nothings, ’list? It
-was Mr. Peters who brought this news to the two anxious women. He had
-been in Castleville ‘by accident,’ he said; the truth being that he had
-given the children a holiday on purpose to offer this humble service to
-the woman who had his heart. It was good news, though it was such bad
-news, for the widow’s imagination had begun to jump at all sorts of
-fatal accidents, and he was made kindly welcome, and allowed to remain
-with them until Mrs. Aikin’s first fit of distress and relief, and shame
-and vexation, and content was over. ‘It’s his father, it’s all his
-father,’ she said. ‘Such a thought would never, never have come into our
-Johnny’s head.’ Mr. Peters, with trembling anxiety, observed that Jane
-did not say a word. She was moving about with her usual quickness,
-preparing tea, that the kind visitor who had taken so much trouble
-should have some refreshment<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_268" id="page_268"></a>{268}</span> after his long walk. She was full of
-suppressed excitement, her cheek less pale than usual, her eyes shining.
-But she said nothing till her mother’s outburst was over. Mrs. Aikin was
-a foolish, softhearted, sanguine woman. As soon as she knew the worst
-her mind leapt at a universal mending and making up. She had no sooner
-dried her eyes and swallowed a cup of tea, after protesting that she
-‘could not touch it,’ than she began with a certain timidity in another
-tone.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s well known what most families do when such a thing happens,’ she
-said with a sigh, ‘folks as has more money than we have. And I’ve heard
-say as it was a foolish thing; but when you consider all things&mdash;&mdash; lads
-is so silly, they never see what they’re doing till after it’s done, and
-past changing&mdash;past their changing I mean.’</p>
-
-<p>Jane did not say anything, but she stood still suddenly in the middle of
-the room to listen, with a startled look.</p>
-
-<p>‘I dare to say he’s repented long before this,’ said the widow, ‘him as
-never was put to hard work nor ordered about, him as had most things his
-own way, though he mightn’t know it. It might have been better for
-Johnny if you and me hadn’t been so fond of him, Jane&mdash;and it will all
-tell upon him now. We’ve spoiled him, and we’re leaving him to bear it
-by himself! Oh! Jane! Jane!’</p>
-
-<p>‘What is it, mother? You are thinking of something,’ said Jane with a
-harsh tone, quite unusual to her, in her voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, Jane, you’re hard-hearted, you ain’t forgiving, you’re not like
-me,’ cried the widow. ‘If you were the girl folks think you, you would
-come to me on your knees, that’s what you would do, to get me to buy him
-off.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, mother, mother, I knew that was what you were coming to. Don’t do
-it! I cannot bear it. I cannot go on with it. You may save him, but
-you’ll kill me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Kill you!&mdash;what has it got to do with you?’ said Mrs. Aikin, drying her
-eyes. ‘Thank the Lord, it ain’t so bad but what it can be mended&mdash;when
-one comes to think of it! I’ll write to the lawyer this very night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘If I can be of any use&mdash;’ said Mr. Peters, faltering. The more he felt
-it was against himself, the more he was anxious to do it to show, if
-only to himself, that it was Jane and not his own interest that was
-nearest to his thoughts. But the poor man felt chilled to the heart as
-he made his offer. He did not understand Jane. It was only an impulse of
-anger, he thought, against the lover for whom, no doubt, she was longing
-in her heart.</p>
-
-<p>‘You’re very kind, Mr. Peters&mdash;very kind. I’ll never forget it&mdash;and you
-think it’s the right thing, don’t you now? He ain’t fit for the army,
-isn’t Johnny. He was always delicate in the chest, and needs to be taken
-a deal of notice of. And to give him up all for one thing&mdash;all for a
-minute’s foolishness.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Mother!’ said Jane, with a shrill tone of passion in her voice, ‘he is
-not to come back here again; let him be!’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_269" id="page_269"></a>{269}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘No&mdash;no&mdash;no. You’ll be the first to thank me, though you’ve lost your
-temper now. The fright will do him a deal of good,’ Mrs. Aikin said,
-getting up with all her cheerfulness restored. ‘We’ll leave him a week
-or so just to see the error of his ways, and then we’ll buy him off, and
-have him back, and settle everything. Poor lad! You may take my word
-he’s miserable enough, thinking of you and me, and wondering what we are
-thinking of him. Poor John! We won’t go on shilly-shallying any longer,
-but we’ll have it all settled when he comes home.’</p>
-
-<p>She was still speaking with the smile on her face which these pleasant
-anticipations had brought there when a sudden commotion got up
-outside&mdash;loud voices, and something like a scuffle. Sounds of this kind
-are not so rare or so alarming even at the best regulated of taverns as
-they are in a private house, and the widow paid but little attention.
-She went across the room and opened her big, old-fashioned chest. Her
-heart was warmed and her face brightened by her resolution. Jane gave a
-glance of despair at Mr. Peters (which he no more understood than if he
-had not seen it). She went across the room after her mother, and laid
-her hand on her shoulder. ‘Mother,’ she said, ‘don’t do it&mdash;don’t do it;
-let him have his choice.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah! what was that?’ cried Mrs. Aikin with a start.</p>
-
-<p>The disturbance outside continued, and just at this moment the words
-became audible, along with the sound of steps rushing to the door. ‘My
-‘usband, my ‘usband!’ cried the voice; ‘what have you done with my
-‘usband?’ The mother and daughter turned round by a common impulse, and
-looked at each other&mdash;then stood as if stiffened into stone, with their
-faces to the door. Without another word said they knew what it meant.
-They needed no further explanation, nor the sight of Ellen Turner, all
-in disorder, with her hair hanging about her neck, and her face swollen
-with tears, who suddenly dashed the door open and came wildly in. ‘John,
-John! I want my ‘usband!’ the poor creature cried, half demented. Jane
-shrank back against her mother, leaning on her heavily, then cast a
-wondering gaze around, appealing, as it were, to earth and heaven. Could
-it be true? She put out one hand to the girl to silence her, and turned
-round and leant against the wall, with a gasp for breath and a low moan.
-This was all the demonstration she made. She was not even conscious of
-the altercation that followed, the crying, and questioning, and denying.
-Jane turned her face to the wall. People have died and broken their
-hearts with less pain. The world seemed to go round with her, and all
-truth and sense to fail.</p>
-
-<p>When she was seen again, which indeed was next day, moving about her
-work as if nothing had happened, Jane was like a ghost in the first
-morning light. All the blood seemed to have been drained out of her. She
-was like a marble woman, moving unconsciously, not touched by anything
-she did. ‘I am quite well,’ she said when people asked, ‘quite well, and
-quite right,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_270" id="page_270"></a>{270}</span> there is nothing the matter.’ As for the poor
-schoolmaster, he went home that night sobbing in the great pity of his
-heart. Though he loved her so, the good fellow felt that if anything
-could have brought back to her the wretched lout whom she had loved he
-would have done it had it cost him his life: but Mr. Peters had to go
-away helpless, unable to save her a single pang, as most of us one time
-or other have to do.</p>
-
-<p>When and how John had found means and ways to make himself Ellen
-Turner’s husband, or whether he had really done so at all, remained
-always a mystery to the Green. But she went off to him, and became a
-wretched hanger-on of the regiment, from which Mrs. Aikin no longer
-thought of buying him off. Nothing else could have settled the question
-so summarily, and but for Jane’s stony face all the neighbourhood would
-have been glad. Her misery, which was so patient and sweet, and of which
-she talked to no one, lasted a great deal longer than it ought to have
-done, everybody felt. But it could not last for ever. Bad enough that
-such a girl should waste the first sweetness of her life on such a
-delusion, but the delusion must come to an end some time. After a longer
-interval than pleased the Green, an interval of which old Mrs. Mowbray
-was very impatient, declaring pettishly a hundred times that she would
-marry off the faithful Peters to some one if Jane did not mind, Jane
-came to herself. She is now the mistress of the school-room, if not the
-schoolmistress, with too many children of her own to be able to take
-charge of those of the parish, but so ‘comfortable,’ with what the
-Barley Mow affords, that the schoolmaster’s income requires no eking out
-from her work. She is far better off, and in circumstances much more
-congenial to her than if she had been able to carry out the plan which
-had been her early dream, and which she and her mother had so
-passionately wished. And Jane is happy: but the scar of the old wound
-has never departed, and never will depart. It is unforgettable for the
-sake of the pain, more than for the sake of the love. As for the
-faithful Peters, he is as happy as ever schoolmaster was, and very
-proper and mindful of his position, and would not sit on a bench outside
-a village inn now-a-days night after night, as he once did, not for any
-inducement in the world.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Aikin held out, and kept her place after Jane was married as long
-as that was practicable, but has sold the business now (and it brought
-in a pretty penny), and lives very happily with a cow of her own and a
-poultry yard, and half-a-dozen grandchildren. Happy woman! She has no
-scar upon her comfortable soul, and knows of no mistake she ever made:
-but she feeds the hungry mouths of her wretched nephew and his wretched
-family, and does not grumble, for, after all, she says, ‘Nature is
-Nature, and it was all his father’s fault.’</p>
-
-<p class="c"><small>THE END.</small><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_271" id="page_271"></a>{271}</span></p>
-
-<h1><a name="MY_FAITHFUL_JOHNNY" id="MY_FAITHFUL_JOHNNY"></a>MY FAITHFUL JOHNNY</h1>
-
-<p class="c">DEDICATED TO F. W. C. AND B. C.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_272" id="page_272"></a>{272}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_273" id="page_273"></a>{273}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p class="cb"><span class="eng">My Faithful Johnny</span></p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER I</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">Everybody</span> knows the charming song which is called by this name. I hear
-it sometimes in a young household full of life and kindness and music,
-where it is sung to me, with a tender indulgence for my weakness and
-limited apprehension of higher efforts, by the most sympathetic and
-softest of voices. A kind half-smile mingles in the music on these
-occasions. Those dear people think I like it because the translated
-‘words’ have a semblance of being Scotch, and I am a Scot. But the words
-are not Scotch, nor is this their charm. I don’t even know what they
-are. ‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie.’ That, or indeed the name
-even is enough for me. I confess that I am not musical. When I hear
-anything that I like much, at least from an instrument, I instantly
-conceive a contempt for it, feeling that it must be inferior somehow to
-have commended itself to me. I wander vainly seeking an idea through
-fields and plains of sonatas. So do a great many other lowly people,
-like me, not gifted with taste or (fit) hearing; but, if you will only
-suggest an idea to me, I will thankfully accept that clue. I don’t
-understand anything about dominant sevenths or any mathematical
-quantity. ‘How much?’ I feel inclined to say with the most vulgar.
-Therefore ‘My Faithful Johnny’ charms me because this is a suggestion of
-which my fancy is capable. I don’t know who the faithful Johnny was,
-except that he is to come again, and that somebody, presumably, is
-looking for him; and, with this guide, the song takes a hundred tones,
-sorrowful, wistful and penetrating. I see the patient waiting, the doubt
-which is faith, the long vigil&mdash;and hear the soft cadence of sighs, and
-with them, through the distance, the far-off notes of the promise&mdash;never
-realized, always expected&mdash;‘I will come again.’ This is how I like to
-have my music. I am an ignorant person. They smile and humour me with
-just a tender touch of the faintest, kindest contempt. Stay&mdash;not
-contempt; the word is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_274" id="page_274"></a>{274}</span> far too harsh; let us say indulgence&mdash;the meaning
-is very much the same.</p>
-
-<p>I do not think I had ever heard the song when I first became acquainted
-with the appearance of a man with whom, later, this title became
-completely identified. He was young&mdash;under thirty&mdash;when I saw him first,
-passing my house every morning as regular as the clock on his way to his
-work, and coming home in the evening swinging his cane, with a book
-under his arm, his coat just a little rusty, his trousers clinging to
-his knees more closely than well-bred trousers cling, his hat pushed
-back a little from his forehead. It was unnecessary to ask what he was.
-He was a clerk in an office. This may be anything, the reader knows,
-from a lofty functionary managing public business, to numberless
-nobodies who toil in dusty offices and are in no way better than their
-fate. It was to this order that my clerk belonged. Every day of his
-life, except that blessed Sunday which sets such toilers free, he walked
-along the irregular pavement of the long suburban road in which I lived
-at nine o’clock in the morning were it wet or dry; and between five and
-six he would come back. After all, though it was monotonous, it was not
-a hard life, for he had the leisure of the whole long evening to make up
-for the bondage of the day. He was a pale man with light hair, and a
-face more worn than either his years or his labours warranted. But his
-air of physical weakness must have been due to his colourless
-complexion, or some other superficial cause, for his extreme and
-unbroken regularity was inconsistent with anything less than thoroughly
-good health. He carried his head slightly thrown back, and his step had
-a kind of irregularity in it which made it familiar to me among many
-others; at each half dozen steps or so his foot would drag upon the
-pavement, giving a kind of rhythm to his progress. All these particulars
-I became aware of, not suddenly, but by dint of long unconscious
-observation, day after day, day after day, for so many years. Never was
-there a clerk more respectable, more regular. I found out after a while
-that he lodged about half a mile further on in one of the little houses
-into which the road dwindled as it streamed out towards the chaos which
-on all sides surrounds London&mdash;and that when he passed my house he was
-on his way to or from the omnibus which started from a much-frequented
-corner about a quarter of a mile nearer town. All the far-off ends of
-the ways that lead into town and its bustle have interests of this kind.
-I am one of the people, I fear somewhat vulgar-minded, who love my
-window and to see people pass. I do not care for the dignity of
-seclusion. I would rather not, unless I were sure of being always a
-happy member of a large cheerful household, be divided from the common
-earth even by the trees and glades of the most beautiful park. I like to
-see the men go to their work, and the women to their marketing. But no;
-the latter occupation is out of date&mdash;the women go to their work too;
-slim,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_275" id="page_275"></a>{275}</span> young daily governesses, hard-worked music-mistresses, with the
-invariable roll of music. How soon one gets to know them all, and have a
-glimmering perception of their individualities&mdash;though you may see them
-every day for years before you know their names!</p>
-
-<p>After I had been acquainted (at a distance) with him for some time, and
-had got to know exactly what o’clock it was when he passed, a change
-came upon my clerk. One summer evening I saw him very much smartened up,
-his coat brushed, a pair of trousers on with which I was not familiar,
-and a rosebud in his button-hole, <i>coming back</i>. I was thunderstruck. It
-was a step so contrary to all traditions that my heart stopped beating
-while I looked at him. It was all I could do not to run down and ask
-what was the matter. Had something gone wrong in the City? Was there a
-panic, or a crisis, or something in the money-market? But no; that could
-not be. The spruceness of the man, the rose in his coat, contradicted
-this alarm; and as I watched disquieted, lo! he crossed the road before
-my eyes, and turning down Pleasant Place, which was opposite,
-disappeared, as I could faintly perceive in the distance, into one of
-the houses. This was the first of a long series of visits. And after a
-while I saw <i>her</i>, the object of these visits, the heroine of the
-romance. She also was one of those with whom I had made acquaintance at
-my window&mdash;a trim little figure in black, with a roll of music, going
-out and in two or three times a day, giving music lessons. I was quite
-glad to think that she had been one of my favourites too. My clerk went
-modestly at long intervals at first, then began to come oftener, and
-finally settled down as a nightly visitor. But this was a long and slow
-process, and I think it had lasted for years before I came into actual
-contact with the personages of this tranquil drama. It was only during
-the summer that I could see them from my window and observe what was
-going on. When at the end of a long winter I first became aware that he
-went to see her every evening, I confess to feeling a little excitement
-at the idea of a marriage shortly to follow; but that was altogether
-premature. It went on summer after summer, winter after winter,
-disappearing by intervals from my eyes, coming fresh with the spring
-flowers and the long evenings. Once passing down Pleasant Place towards
-some scorched fields that lay beyond&mdash;fields that began to be invaded by
-new houses and cut up by foundation digging, and roadmaking, and
-bricklaying, but where there was still room for the boys, and my boys,
-among others, to play cricket&mdash;I had a glimpse of a little interior
-which quickened my interest more and more. The houses in Pleasant Place
-were small and rather shabby, standing on one side only of the street.
-The other was formed by the high brick wall of the garden of a big
-old-fashioned house, still standing amid all the new invasions which had
-gradually changed the character of the district. There were trees
-visible over the top of this wall, and it was believed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_276" id="page_276"></a>{276}</span> in the
-neighbourhood that the upper windows of the houses in Pleasant Place
-looked over it into the garden. In fact, I had myself not long before
-condoled with the proprietor of the said garden upon the inconvenience
-of being thus overlooked. For this hypocrisy my heart smote me when I
-went along the little street, and saw the little houses all gasping with
-open windows for a breath of the air which the high wall intercepted.
-They had little front gardens scorched with the fervid heat. At the open
-window of No. 7 sat my clerk with his colourless head standing out
-against the dark unknown of the room. His face was in profile. It was
-turned towards some one who was singing softly the song of which I have
-placed the name at the head of this story. The soft, pensive music came
-tender and low out of the unseen room. The musician evidently needed no
-light, for it was almost twilight, and the room was dark. The
-accompaniment was played in the truest taste, soft as the summer air
-that earned the sound to our ears. ‘I know!’ I cried to my companion
-with some excitement, ‘that is what he is. I have always felt that was
-the name for him.’ ‘The name for whom?’ she asked bewildered. ‘My
-faithful Johnny,’ I replied; which filled her with greater bewilderment
-still.</p>
-
-<p>And all that summer long the faithful Johnny went and came as usual.
-Often he and she would take little walks in the evening, always at that
-same twilight hour. It seemed the moment of leisure, as if she had
-duties at home from which she was free just then. When we went away in
-August they were taking their modest little promenades together in the
-cool of the evening; and when we came back in October, as long as the
-daylight served to see them by, the same thing went on. As the days
-shortened he changed his habits so far as to go to Pleasant Place at
-once before going home, that there might still be light enough (I felt
-sure) for her walk. But by and by the advancing winter shut out this
-possibility: or rather, I could not see any longer what happened about
-six o’clock. One evening however, coming home to dinner from a late
-visit, I met them suddenly, walking along the lighted street. For the
-first time they were arm-in-arm, perhaps because it was night, though no
-later than usual. She was talking to him with a certain familiar ease of
-use and wont as if they had been married for years, smiling and
-chattering and lighting up his mild somewhat weary countenance with
-responsive smiles. ‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie&mdash;&mdash;’ I
-smiled at myself as these words came into my head, I could not tell why.
-How could he come again when, it was evident, no will of his would ever
-take him away? Was she fair enough to be the ‘sweet and bonnie’ of a
-man’s heart? She was not a beauty; nobody would have distinguished her
-even as the prettiest girl in Pleasant Place. But her soft, bright face
-as she looked up to him: a smile on it of the sunniest kind; a little
-humorous twist about the corners of the mouth; a pair of clear, honest
-brown eyes; a round cheek with a dimple<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_277" id="page_277"></a>{277}</span> in it&mdash;caught my heart at once
-as they must have caught his. I could understand (I thought) what it
-must have been to the dry existence of the respectable clerk, the
-old-young and prematurely faded, to have this fresh spring of life, and
-talk, and smiles, and song welling up into it, transforming everything.
-He smiled back upon her as they walked along in the intermittent light
-of the shop windows. I could almost believe that I saw his lips forming
-the words as he looked at her, ‘My sweet and bonnie.’ Yes; she was good
-enough and fair enough to merit the description. ‘But I wish they would
-marry,’ I said to myself. Why did not they marry? He looked patient
-enough for anything; but even patience ought to come to an end. I chafed
-at the delay, though I had nothing to do with it. What was the meaning
-of it? I felt that it ought to come to an end.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER II</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> was some months after this, when I took the bold step of making
-acquaintance on my own account with this pair; not exactly with the
-pair, but with the one who was most accessible. It happened that a
-sudden need for music lessons arose in the family. One of the children,
-who had hitherto regarded that study with repugnance, and who had been
-accordingly left out in all the musical arrangements of her brothers and
-sisters, suddenly turned round by some freak of nature and demanded the
-instruction which she had previously resisted. How could we expect
-Fräulein Stimme, whose ministrations she had scorned, to descend to the
-beggarly elements, and take up again one who was so far behind the
-others? ‘I cannot ask her,’ I said; ‘you may do it yourself, Chatty, if
-you are so much in earnest, but I cannot take it upon me;’ and it was
-not until Chatty had declared with tears that to approach Fräulein
-Stimme on her own account was impossible, that a brilliant idea struck
-me. ‘Ten o’clock!’ I cried; which was an exclamation which would have
-gone far to prove me out of my senses had any severe critic been
-listening. This was the title which had been given to the little
-music-mistress in Pleasant Place, before she had become associated in
-our minds with the faithful clerk. And I confess that, without waiting
-to think, without more ado, I ran to get my hat, and was out of doors in
-a moment. It was very desirable, no doubt, that Chatty should make up
-lost ground and begin her lessons at once, but that was not my sole
-motive. When I found myself out of doors in a damp and foggy November
-morning, crossing the muddy road in the first impulse of eagerness, it
-suddenly dawned upon me that there were several obstacles in my way. In
-the first place I did not even know her name. I knew the house, having
-seen her, and especially him, enter it so often; but what to call her,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_278" id="page_278"></a>{278}</span>
-who to ask for, I did not know. She might, I reflected, be only a
-lodger, not living with her parents, which up to this time I had taken
-for granted; or she might be too accomplished in her profession to teach
-Chatty the rudiments&mdash;a thing which, when I reflected upon the song I
-had heard, and other scraps of music which had dropped upon my ears in
-passing, seemed very likely. However I was launched, and could not go
-back. I felt very small, humble, and blamably impulsive however when I
-had knocked at the door of No. 7, and stood somewhat alarmed waiting a
-reply. The door was opened by a small maid-servant, with a very long
-dress and her apron folded over one arm, who stared, yet evidently
-recognized me, not without respect, as belonging to one of the great
-houses in the road. This is a kind of aristocratical position in the
-suburbs. One is raised to a kind of personage by all the denizens of the
-little streets and terraces. She made me a clumsy little curtsey, and
-grinned amicably. And I was encouraged by the little maid. She was about
-fifteen, rather grimy, in a gown much too long for her; but yet her foot
-was upon her native heath, and I was an intruder. She knew all about the
-family, no doubt, and who they were, and the name of my clerk, and the
-relations in which he stood to her young mistress, while I was only a
-stranger feebly guessing, and impertinently spying upon all these
-things.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is the young lady at home?’ I asked, with much humility.</p>
-
-<p>The girl stared at me with wide-open eyes; then she said with a broad
-smile, ‘You mean Miss Ellen, don’t ye, miss?’ In these regions it is
-supposed to be complimentary to say ‘Miss,’ as creating a pleasant
-fiction of perpetual youth.</p>
-
-<p>‘To tell the truth,’ I said, with a consciousness of doing my best to
-conciliate this creature, ‘I don’t know her name. It was about some
-music lessons.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Miss Ellen isn’t in,’ said the girl, ‘but missus is sure to see you if
-you will step into the parlour, miss;’ and she opened to me the door of
-the room in which I had seen my faithful Johnny at the window, and heard
-her singing to him, in the twilight, her soft song. It was a commonplace
-little parlour, with a faded carpet and those appalling mahogany and
-hair-cloth chairs which no decorative genius, however brilliant, could
-make anything of. What so easy as to say that good taste and care can
-make any house pretty? This little room was very neat, and I don’t doubt
-that Miss Ellen’s faithful lover found a little paradise in it; but it
-made my heart sink foolishly to see how commonplace it all was; a
-greenish-whitish woollen cover on the table, a few old photographic
-albums, terrible antimacassars in crochet work upon the backs of the
-chairs. I sat down and contemplated the little mirror on the mantelpiece
-and the cheap little vases with dismay. We are all prejudiced now-a-days
-on this question of furniture. My poor little music-mistress! how was
-she to change the chairs and tables she had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_279" id="page_279"></a>{279}</span> been born to? But, to tell
-the truth, I wavered and doubted whether she was worthy of him when I
-looked round upon all the antimacassars, and the dried grasses in the
-green vase.</p>
-
-<p>While I was struggling against this first impression the door opened,
-and the mistress of the house came in. She was a little woman, stout and
-roundabout, with a black cap decorated with flowers, but a fresh little
-cheerful face under this tremendous head-dress which neutralized it. She
-came up to me with a smile and would have shaken hands, had I been at
-all prepared for such a warmth of salutation, and then she began to
-apologize for keeping me waiting. ‘When my daughter is out I have to do
-all the waiting upon him myself. He doesn’t like to be left alone, and
-he can’t bear anybody but me or Ellen in the room with him,’ she said.
-Perhaps she had explained beforehand who he was, but in the confusion of
-the first greeting I had not made it out. Then I stated my business, and
-she brightened up still more.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, yes; I am sure Ellen will undertake it with great pleasure. In the
-Road at No. 16? Oh, it is no distance; it will be no trouble; and she is
-so glad to extend her connection. With private teaching it is such a
-great matter to extend your connection. It is very kind of you to have
-taken the trouble to come yourself. Perhaps one of Ellen’s ladies, who
-are all so kind to her, mentioned our name?’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is just where I am at a loss,’ I said uneasily. ‘No; but I have
-seen her passing all these years, always so punctual, with her bright
-face. She has been a great favourite of mine for a long time, though I
-don’t know her name.’</p>
-
-<p>The mother’s countenance brightened after a moment’s doubt. ‘Yes,’ she
-said, ‘she is a good girl&mdash;always a bright face. She is the life of the
-house.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And I have seen,’ said I, hesitating more and more, ‘a gentleman. I
-presume there is to be a marriage by and by. You must pardon my
-curiosity, I have taken so much interest in them.’</p>
-
-<p>A good many changes passed over the mother’s face. Evidently she was not
-at all sure about my curiosity, whether perhaps it might not be
-impertinent.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ she said, with a little nod, ‘you have remarked John. Yes, of
-course, it was sure to be remarked, so constantly as he comes. I need
-not make any secret of it. In one way I would rather he did not come so
-often; but it is a pleasure to Ellen. Yes; I may say they are engaged.’</p>
-
-<p>Engaged? After all these years! But I remembered that I had no right,
-being an intruder, to say anything. ‘I have seen them in the summer
-evenings&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, yes,’ she said; ‘yes,’ with again a nod of her head. ‘Perhaps it
-was imprudent, for you never can tell whether these things will come to
-anything; but it was her only time for a little pleasure. Poor child, I
-always see that she gets that hour.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_280" id="page_280"></a>{280}</span> They go out still, though you would
-not say it would do her much good in the dark; out there is nothing she
-enjoys so much. She is the best girl that ever was. I don’t know what I
-should do without her;’ and there was a glimmer of moisture in the
-mother’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘But,’ I said, ‘surely after a while they are going to be married?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know. I don’t see how her father can spare her.’ The cheerful
-face lost all its brightness as she spoke, and she shook her head. ‘He
-is so fond of Ellen, the only girl we have left now; he can’t bear her
-out of his sight. She is such a good girl, and so devoted.’ The mother
-faltered a little&mdash;perhaps my question made her think&mdash;at all events, it
-was apparent that everything was not so simple and straightforward for
-the young pair as I in my ignorance had thought.</p>
-
-<p>But I had no excuse to say any more. It was no business of mine, as
-people say. I settled that Ellen was to come at a certain hour next day,
-which was all that remained to be done. When I glanced round the room
-again as I left, it had changed its aspect to me, and looked like a
-prison. Was the poor girl bound there, and unable to get free? As the
-mother opened the door for me, the sound of an imperious voice calling
-her came down-stairs. She called back, ‘I am coming, James, I am
-coming;’ then let me out hurriedly. And I went home feeling as if I had
-torn the covering from a mystery, and as if the house in Pleasant Place,
-so tranquil, so commonplace, was the scene of some tragic story, to end
-one could not tell how. But there was no mystery at all about it: When
-‘Miss Harwood’ was announced to me next day, I was quite startled by the
-name, not associating it with any one; but the moment the little
-music-mistress appeared, with her little roll in her hand, her trim
-figure, her smiling face, and fresh look of health and happiness, my
-suspicions disappeared like the groundless fancies they were. She was
-delighted to have a new pupil, and one so near, whom it would be ‘no
-trouble’ to attend; and so pleased when I (with much timidity, I
-confess) ventured to tell her how long I had known her, and how I had
-watched for her at my window, and all the observations I had made. She
-brightened, and laughed and blushed, and declared it was very kind of me
-to take such an interest; then hung her head for a moment, and laughed
-and blushed still more, when my confessions went the length of the
-faithful lover. But this was nothing but a becoming girlish shyness, for
-next minute she looked me frankly in the face, with the prettiest colour
-dyeing her round cheek. ‘I think he knows you too,’ she said. ‘We met
-you once out walking, and he told me, “There is the lady who lives in
-the Road, whom I always see at the window.” We hoped you were better to
-see you out.’ And then it was my turn to feel gratified, which I did
-unfeignedly. I had gone through a great deal of trouble, cheered by my
-spectatorship of life-out-of-doors from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_281" id="page_281"></a>{281}</span> that window. And I was pleased
-that they had taken some friendly notice of me too.</p>
-
-<p>‘And I suppose,’ I said, returning to my theme, ‘that it will not be
-long now before you reward his faithfulness. Must Chatty leave you then?
-or will you go on, do you think, taking pupils after&mdash;?’</p>
-
-<p>She gave me a little bewildered look. ‘I don’t think I know what you
-mean.’</p>
-
-<p>‘After you are married,’ I said plumply. ‘That must be coming soon now.’</p>
-
-<p>Then she burst out with a genial, pretty laugh, blushing and shaking her
-head. ‘Oh, no; we do not think of such a thing! Not yet. They couldn’t
-spare me at home. John&mdash;I mean, Mr. Ridgway&mdash;knows that. My father has
-been ill so long; he wants attendance night and day, and I don’t know
-what mother would do without me. Oh dear no; we are very happy as we
-are. We don’t even think of that.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you must think of it some time, surely, in justice to him,’ I said,
-half indignant for my faithful Johnny’s sake.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I suppose so, some time,’ she said, with a momentary gravity
-stealing over her face&mdash;gravity and perplexity too: and a little pucker
-came into her forehead. How to do it? A doubt, a question, seemed to
-enter her mind for a moment. Then she gave her head a shake, dismissing
-the clouds from her cheerful firmament, and with a smiling decision set
-down Chatty to the piano. Chatty had fallen in love with Miss Harwood,
-her own particular music-mistress, in whom no one else had any share, on
-the spot.</p>
-
-<p>And after a while we all fell in love, one after another, with Miss
-Ellen. She was one of those cheerful people who never make a fuss about
-anything, never are put out, or make small troubles into great ones. We
-tried her in every way, as is not unusual with a large, somewhat
-careless, family, in whose minds it was a settled principle that, so
-long as you did a thing some time or other, it did not at all matter
-when you did it&mdash;and that times and seasons were of no particular
-importance to any one but Fräulein Stimme. <i>She</i>, of course&mdash;our natural
-disorderliness had to give way to her; but I am afraid it very soon came
-to be said in the house, ‘Ellen will not mind.’ And Ellen did not mind;
-if twelve o’clock proved inconvenient for the lesson, she only smiled
-and said, ‘It is no matter; I will come in at three.’ And if at three
-Fräulein Stimme’s clutches upon Chatty were still unclosed, she would do
-anything that happened to be needed&mdash;gather the little ones round the
-piano and teach them songs, or go out with my eldest daughter for her
-walk, or talk to me. How many talks we had upon every subject
-imaginable! Ellen was not what is called clever. She had read very few
-books. My eldest daughter aforesaid despised her somewhat on this
-account, and spoke condescendingly of this or that as ‘what Ellen says.’
-But it was astonishing, after all, how often<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_282" id="page_282"></a>{282}</span> ‘what Ellen says’ was
-quoted. There were many things which Ellen had not thought anything
-about; and on these points she was quite ignorant; for she had not read
-what other people had thought about them, and was unprepared with an
-opinion; but whenever the subject had touched her own intelligence, she
-knew very well what she thought. And by dint of being a little lower
-down in the social order than we were, she knew familiarly a great many
-things which we knew only theoretically and did not understand. For
-instance, that fine shade of difference which separates people with a
-hundred and fifty pounds a year from people with weekly wages was a
-thing which had always altogether eluded me. I had divined that a
-workman with three pounds a week was well off, and a clerk with the
-same, paid quarterly, was poor; but wherein lay the difference, and how
-it was that the latter occupied a superior position to the former, I
-have never been able to fathom. Ellen belonged, herself, to this class.
-Her father had been in one of the lower departments of a public office,
-and had retired with a pension of exactly this amount after some thirty
-years’ service. There was a time in his life, to which she regretfully
-yet proudly referred as ‘the time when we were well off,’ in which his
-salary had risen to two hundred and fifty pounds a year. That was the
-time when she got her education and developed the taste for music which
-was now supplying her with work which she liked, and a little provision
-for herself. There was no scorn or <i>hauteur</i> in Ellen; but she talked of
-the working classes with as distinct a consciousness of being apart from
-and superior to them as if she had been a duchess. It was no virtue of
-hers; but still Providence had placed her on a different level, and she
-behaved herself accordingly. Servants and shopkeepers, of the minor kind
-at least, were within the same category to her&mdash;people to be perfectly
-civil to, and kind to, but, as a matter of course, not the kind of
-people whom in her position it would become her to associate with. When
-I asked myself why I should smile at this, or wherein it was more
-unreasonable than other traditions of social superiority, I could not
-give any answer. We are not ourselves, so far as I know, sons of the
-Crusaders, and it is very difficult to say what is the social figment of
-rank by which we hold so dearly. Ellen Harwood exhibited to us the
-instinct of aristocracy on one of its lower levels; and one learned a
-lesson while one smiled in one’s sleeve. Never was anything more
-certain, more serious, than her sense of class distinctions, and the
-difference between one degree and another; and nobody, not a prince of
-the blood, would have less understood being laughed at. This serene
-consciousness of her position and its inherent right divine was a
-possession inalienable to our music-mistress. She would have
-comprehended or endured no trifling or jesting with it. One blushed
-while one laughed in an undertone. She was holding the mirror up to
-nature without being aware of it. And there<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_283" id="page_283"></a>{283}</span> were various fanciful
-particulars also in her code. The people next door who let lodgings were
-beneath her as much as the working people&mdash;all to be very nicely behaved
-to, need I say, and treated with the greatest politeness and civility,
-but not as if they were on the level of ‘people like ourselves.’ Lady
-Clara Vere de Vere could not have been more serenely unconscious of any
-possible equality between herself and her village surroundings than
-Ellen Harwood. Fortunately, Mr. John Ridgway was ‘in our own position in
-life.’</p>
-
-<p>These and many other vagaries of human sentiment I learned to see
-through Ellen’s eyes with more edification and amusement, and also with
-more confusion and abashed consciousness, than had ever occurred to me
-before. These were precisely my own sentiments, you know, towards the
-rich linendraper next door; and no doubt my aristocratical repugnance to
-acknowledge myself the neighbour of that worthy person would have seemed
-just as funny to the Duke of Bayswater as Ellen’s pretensions did to me.
-It must not be supposed however that Ellen Harwood was in a state of
-chronic resistance to the claims of her humbler neighbours. She was an
-active, bright, cheerful creature, full of interest in everything. Her
-father had been ill for years; and she had grown accustomed to his
-illness, as young people do to anything they have been acquainted with
-all their lives, and was not alarmed by it, nor oppressed, so far as we
-could tell, by the constant claims made upon her. She allowed that now
-and then he was cross&mdash;‘which of us would not be cross, shut up in one
-room for ever and ever?’ But she had not the least fear that he would
-ever die, or that she would grow tired of taking care of him. All the
-rest of her time after lessons she was in attendance upon him, excepting
-only that hour in the evening when John’s visit was paid. She always
-looked forward to that, she confessed. ‘To think of it makes everything
-smooth. He is so good. Though I say it that shouldn’t,’ she cried,
-laughing and blushing, ‘you can’t think how nice he is. And he knows so
-much; before he knew us he had nothing to do but read all the
-evenings&mdash;fancy! And I never met any one who had read so much; he knows
-simply everything. Ah!’ with a little sigh, ‘it makes such a difference
-to have him coming every night; it spirits one up for the whole day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But, Ellen, I can’t think how it is that he doesn’t get tired&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Tired!’ She reddened up to her very hair. ‘Why should he get tired? If
-he is tired, he has my full permission to go when he likes,’ she said,
-throwing back her proud little head. ‘But nobody shall put such an idea
-into my mind. You don’t know John. If you knew John that would be quite
-enough; such a thing would never come into your mind.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You should hear me out before you blame me. I was going to say, tired
-of waiting, which is a very different sentiment.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_284" id="page_284"></a>{284}</span></p>
-
-<p>Ellen laughed, and threw aside her little offence in a moment. ‘I
-thought you could not mean that. Tired of waiting! But he has not waited
-so very long. We have not been years and years like some people&mdash;No;
-only eighteen months since it was all settled. We are not rich people
-like you, to do a thing the moment we have begun to think about it: and
-everything so dear!’ she cried, half merry, half serious. ‘Oh, no; he is
-not the least tired. What could we want more than to be together in the
-evening? All the day goes pleasantly for thinking of it,’ she said, with
-a pretty blush. ‘And my mother always manages to let me have that hour.
-She does not mind how tired she is. We are as happy as the day is long,’
-Ellen said.</p>
-
-<p>I have always heard that a long engagement is the most miserable and
-wearing thing in the world. I have never believed it, it is true; but
-that does not matter. Here however was a witness against the popular
-belief. Ellen was not the victim of a long engagement, nor of a peevish
-invalid, though her days were spent in tendance upon one, and her youth
-gliding away in the long patience of the other. She was as merry and
-bright as if she were having everything her own way in life; and so I
-believe she really thought she was, with a mother so kind as, always,
-however tired she might be, to insist upon securing that evening hour
-for her, and a John who was better than any other John had ever been
-before him. The faithful Johnny! I wondered sometimes on his side what
-he thought.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER III</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">One</span> day Ellen came to me, on her arrival, with an air of suppressed
-excitement quite unusual to her. It was not, evidently, anything to be
-alarmed about, for she looked half way between laughing and crying, but
-not melancholy. ‘May I speak to you after Chatty has had her lesson?’
-she asked. I felt sure that some new incident had happened in her
-courtship, about which I was so much more interested than about any
-other courtship I was acquainted with. So I arranged with all speed&mdash;not
-an easy thing when there are so many in a house, to be left alone, and
-free to hear whatever she might have to say. She was a little hurried
-with the lesson, almost losing patience over Chatty’s fumbling&mdash;and how
-the child did fumble over the fingering, putting the third finger where
-the first should be, and losing count altogether of the thumb, which is
-too useful a member to be left without occupation! It appeared to me
-half a dozen times that Ellen was on the eve of taking the music off the
-piano, and garotting Chatty with the arm which rested nervously on the
-back of the child’s chair. However she restrained these impulses, if she
-had them, and got through the hour <i>tant bien que mal</i>. It was even with
-an air of extreme<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_285" id="page_285"></a>{285}</span> deliberation, masking her excitement, that she stood
-by and watched her pupil putting away the music and closing the piano.
-Chatty, of course, took a longer time than usual to these little
-arrangements, and then lingered in the room. Generally she was too glad
-to hurry away.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go, Chatty, and see if the others are ready to go out for their walk.’</p>
-
-<p>‘They have gone already, mamma. They said they would not wait for me.
-They said I was always so long of getting my things on.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But why are you so long of getting your things on? Run away and see
-what nurse is about; or if Fräulein Stimme would like&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Fräulein isn’t here to-day. How funny you are, mamma, not to remember
-that it’s Saturday.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Go this moment!’ I cried wildly, ‘and tell nurse that you must go out
-for a walk. Do you think I will permit you to lose your walk, because
-the others think you are long of putting your things on? Nothing of the
-sort. Go at once, Chatty,’ I cried, clapping my hands, as I have a way
-of doing, to rouse them when they are not paying attention, ‘without a
-word!’</p>
-
-<p>To see the child’s astonished face! She seemed to stumble over herself
-in her haste to get out of the room. After the unusual force of this
-adjuration I had myself become quite excited. I waved my hand to Ellen,
-who had stood by listening, half frightened by my vehemence, pointing
-her to a chair close to me. ‘Now, tell me all about it,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is it really for me that you have sent Chatty away in such a hurry? How
-good of you!’ said Ellen. And then she made a pause, as if to bring
-herself into an appropriate frame of mind before making her
-announcement. ‘I could not rest till I had told you. You have always
-taken such an interest. John has got a rise of fifty pounds a year.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am very glad, very glad, Ellen.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I knew you would be pleased. He has been expecting it for some time
-back; but he would not say anything to me, in case I should be
-disappointed if it did not come. So I should, most likely, for I think
-he deserves a great deal more than that. But the best people never get
-so much as they deserve. Fifty pounds a year is a great rise all at
-once, don’t you think? and he got a hint that perhaps about Midsummer
-there might be a better post offered to him. Isn’t it flattering? Of
-course I know he deserves it; but sometimes those who deserve the most
-don’t get what they ought. That makes two hundred and twenty; an
-excellent income, don’t you think? He will have to pay income-tax,’
-Ellen said, with a flush of mingled pride and gratification and
-grievance which it was amusing to see.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know that I think much of the income-tax; but it is very
-pleasant that he is so well thought of,’ I said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_286" id="page_286"></a>{286}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘And another rise at Midsummer! It seems more than one had any right to
-expect,’ said Ellen. Her hands were clasped in her lap, her fingers
-twisting and untwisting unconsciously, her head raised, and her eyes
-fixed, without seeing anything, upon the blue sky outside. She was rapt
-in a pleasant dream of virtue rewarded and goodness triumphant. A smile
-went and came upon her face like sunshine. ‘And yet,’ she cried, ‘to
-hear people speak, you would think that it was never the right men that
-got on. Even in sermons in church you always hear that it is rather a
-disadvantage to you if you are nice and good. I wonder how people can
-talk such nonsense; why, look at John!’</p>
-
-<p>‘But even John has had a long time to wait for his promotion,’ said I,
-feeling myself the devil’s advocate. I had just checked myself in time
-not to say that two hundred and twenty pounds a year was not a very
-gigantic promotion; which would have been both foolish and cruel.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, no, indeed!’ cried Ellen; ‘he looks a great deal older than he is.
-He lived so much alone, you know, before he knew <i>us</i>; and that gives a
-man an old look&mdash;but he is not a bit old. How much would you give him?
-No, indeed, thirty; he is only just thirty! His birthday was last week.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And you, Ellen?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am twenty-four&mdash;six years younger than he is. Just the right
-difference, mother says. Of course I am really a dozen years older than
-he is; I have far more sense. He has read books and books till he has
-read all his brains away; but luckily as long as I am there to take care
-of him&mdash;&mdash;’ Then she made a pause, looked round the room with a half
-frightened look, then, drawing closer to me, she said in a hurried
-undertone, ‘He said something about that other subject to-day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Of course he did; how could he have done otherwise?’ I said with a
-little momentary triumph.</p>
-
-<p>‘Please, <i>please</i> don’t take his part, and make it all more difficult;
-for you know it is impossible, impossible, quite impossible; nobody
-could have two opinions. It was that, above all, that I wanted to tell
-you about.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Why is it impossible, Ellen?’ I said. ‘If you set up absurd obstacles,
-and keep up an unnatural state of things, you will be very sorry for it
-one day. He is quite right. I could not think how he consented to go on
-like this, without a word.’</p>
-
-<p>‘How strange that you should be so hot about it!’ said Ellen, with a
-momentary smile; but at the bottom of her heart she was nervous and
-alarmed, and did not laugh with her usual confidence. ‘He said
-something, but he was not half so stern as you are. Why should it be so
-dreadfully necessary to get married? I am quite happy as I am. I can do
-all my duties, and take care of him too; and John is quite happy&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘There you falter,’ I said; ‘you dare not say that with the same
-intrepidity, you little deceiver. Poor John! he ought to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_287" id="page_287"></a>{287}</span> have his life
-made comfortable and bright for him now. He ought to have his wife to be
-proud of, to come home to. So faithful as he is, never thinking of any
-other pleasure, of any amusement, but only you.’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen blushed with pleasure, then grew pale with wonder and alarm. ‘That
-is natural,’ she said, faltering. ‘What other amusement should he think
-of? He is most happy with me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But very few men are like that,’ I said. ‘He is giving up everything
-else for you; he is shutting himself out of the world for you; and
-you&mdash;what are you giving up for him?’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen grew paler and paler as I spoke. ‘Giving up?’ she said aghast.
-‘I&mdash;I would give up anything. But I have got nothing, except John,’ she
-added, with an uneasy little laugh. ‘And you say he is shutting himself
-out of the world. Oh, I know what you are thinking of&mdash;the kind of world
-one reads about in books, where gentlemen have clubs, and all that sort
-of thing. But these are only for you rich people. He is not giving up
-anything that I know of.’</p>
-
-<p>‘What do the other young men do, Ellen? Every one has his own kind of
-world.’</p>
-
-<p>‘The other young men!’ she cried indignant. ‘Now I see indeed you don’t
-know anything about him (how could you? you have never even seen him),
-when you compare John to the other clerks. <i>John!</i> Oh, yes, I suppose
-they go and amuse themselves; they go to the theatres, and all those
-wrong places. But you don’t suppose John would do that, even if I were
-not in existence! Why <i>John</i>! the fact is, you don’t know him; that is
-the whole affair.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I humbly confess it,’ said I; ‘but it is not my fault. I should be very
-glad to know him, if I might.’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen looked at me with a dazzled look of sudden happiness, as if this
-prospect of bliss was too much for her&mdash;which is always very flattering
-to the superior in such intercourse as existed between her and me. ‘Oh!
-would you?’ she said, with her heart in her mouth, and fixed her eyes
-eagerly upon me, as if with some project she did not like to unfold.</p>
-
-<p>‘Certainly I should.’ Then, after a pause I said, ‘Could not you bring
-him to-morrow to tea?’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen’s eyes sparkled. She gave a glance round upon the room, which was
-a great deal bigger and handsomer than the little parlour in Pleasant
-Place, taking in the pictures and the piano and myself in so many
-distinct perceptions, yet one look. Her face was so expressive that I
-recognized all these different details of her pleasure with the
-distinctest certainty. She wanted John to see it all, and to hear the
-piano, which was much better than her little piano at home; and also to
-behold how much at home she was, and how everybody liked her. Her eyes
-shone out upon me like two stars. And her big English ‘Oh!’ of delight
-had her whole breath in it, and left her speechless for the moment.
-‘There is nothing in the world<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_288" id="page_288"></a>{288}</span> I would like so much,’ she cried at
-last: then paused, and, with a sobered tone, added, ‘If mother can spare
-me’&mdash;a little cloud coming over her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am sure your mother will spare you. You never have any parties or
-amusements, my good little Ellen. You must tell her I will take no
-denial. You never go anywhere.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Where should I go?’ said Ellen. ‘I don’t want to go anywhere, there is
-always so much to do at home. But for this once&mdash;And John would so like
-to come. He would like to thank you. He says, if you will not think him
-too bold, that you have been his friend for years.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is quite true,’ I said; ‘I have looked for him almost every day for
-years. But it is not much of a friendship when one can do nothing for
-the other&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, it is beautiful!’ cried Ellen. ‘He says always we are in such
-different ranks of life. We could never expect to have any intercourse,
-except to be sure by a kind of happy accident, like me. It would not do,
-of course, visiting or anything of that sort; but just to be friends for
-life, with a kind look, such as we might give to the angels if we could
-see them. If there only could be a window in heaven, here and there!’
-and she laughed with moisture in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ I said, ‘but windows in heaven would be so crowded with those that
-are nearer to us than the angels.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you think they would want that?’ said Ellen in a reverential low
-tone; ‘don’t you think they must see somehow? they would not be happy if
-they could not see. But the angels might come and sit down in an idle
-hour, when they had nothing to do. Perhaps it would grieve them, but it
-might amuse them too, to see all the crowds go by, and all the stories
-going on, like a play, and know that, whatever happened, it would all
-come right in the end. I should not wonder a bit if, afterwards, some
-one were to say, as you did about John, “I have seen you passing for
-years and years&mdash;&mdash;”<span class="lftspc">’</span></p>
-
-<p>I need not repeat all the rest of our talk. When two women begin this
-kind of conversation, there is no telling where it may end. The
-conclusion however was that next evening John was to be brought to make
-my acquaintance; and Ellen went away very happy, feeling, I think, that
-a new chapter was about to begin in her life. And on our side we
-indulged in a great many anticipations. The male part of the household
-assured us that, ‘depend upon it,’ it would be a mistake; that John
-would be a mere clerk, and no more; a man, perhaps, not very sure about
-his <i>h’s</i>; perhaps over-familiar, perhaps frightened; that most likely
-he would feel insulted by being asked to tea&mdash;and a great deal more, to
-all of which we, of course, paid no attention. But it was not till
-afterwards that even I realized the alarming business it must have been
-to John to walk into a room full of unknown people&mdash;dreadful critical
-children, girls and boys half grown<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_289" id="page_289"></a>{289}</span> up&mdash;and to put to the test a
-friendship of years, which had gone on without a word spoken, and now
-might turn out anything but what it had been expected to be. He was a
-little fluttered and red when Ellen, herself very nervous, brought him
-in, meeting all the expectant faces, which turned instinctively towards
-the door. Ellen herself had never come in the evening before, and the
-aspect of the house, with the lamps lighted, and the whole family
-assembled, was new to her. She came in without saying a word, and led
-her love, who for his part moved awkwardly and with shy hesitation,
-through the unknown place, threading his way among the tables and
-chairs, and the staring children, to where I sat. I have always said my
-little Chatty was the best bred of all my children. There was no one so
-much interested as she; but she kept her eyes upon her work, and never
-looked up till they were seated comfortably and beginning to look at
-their ease. John faltered forth what I felt sure was intended to be a
-very pretty speech to me, probably conned beforehand, and worthy of the
-occasion. But all that came forth was, ‘I have seen you often at the
-window.’ ‘Yes, indeed,’ I said hurriedly, ‘for years; we are old
-friends: we don’t require any introduction,’ and so got over it. I am
-afraid he said ‘ma’am.’ I see no reason why he should not say ma’am;
-people used to do it; and excepting us rude English, everybody in the
-world does it. Why should not John have used that word of respect if he
-chose? You say ma’am yourself to princesses when you speak to them, if
-you ever have the honour of speaking to them; and he thought as much of
-me, knowing no better, as if I had been a princess. He had a soft,
-refined voice. I am sure I cannot tell whether his clothes were well
-made or not&mdash;a woman does not look at a man’s clothes&mdash;but this I can
-tell you, that his face was well made. There was not a fine feature in
-it; but He who shaped them knew what He was about. Every line was
-good&mdash;truth and patience and a gentle soul shone through them. In five
-minutes he was at home, not saying much, but looking at us all with
-benevolent, tender eyes. When Chatty brought him his tea and gave him
-her small hand, he held it for a moment, saying, ‘This is Ellen’s
-pupil,’ with a look which was a benediction. ‘I should have known her
-anywhere,’ he said. ‘Ellen has a gift of description&mdash;and then, she is
-like you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen has a great many gifts, Mr. Ridgway&mdash;the house is sure to be a
-bright one that has her for its mistress.’</p>
-
-<p>He assented with a smile that lit up his face like sunshine; then shook
-his head, and said, ‘I wish I could see any prospect of that. The house
-has been built, and furnished, and set out ready for her so long. That
-is, alas! only in our thoughts. It is a great pleasure to imagine it;
-but it seems always to recede a little further&mdash;a little further. We
-have need of patience.’ Then he paused, and added, brightening a little,
-‘Fortunately we are not impatient people, either of us.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_290" id="page_290"></a>{290}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘Forgive me,’ I said. ‘It is a great deal to take upon me&mdash;a stranger as
-I am.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You forget,’ he said, with a bow that would not have misbecome a
-courtier, ‘that you were so kind as to say that we were not strangers
-but old friends.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is quite true. Then I will venture to speak as an old friend. I wish
-you were not so patient. I wish you were a hot-headed person, and would
-declare once for all that you would not put up with it.’</p>
-
-<p>He reddened, and turned to me with a look half of alarm, half, perhaps,
-of incipient, possible offence. ‘You think I am too tame, too easy&mdash;not
-that I don’t desire with my whole heart&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Not that you are not as true as the heavens themselves,’ I said, with
-the enthusiasm of penitence. His face relaxed and shone again, though
-once more he shook his head.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think&mdash;I am sure&mdash;you are quite right. If I could insist I might
-carry my point, and it would be better. But what can I say? I understand
-her, and sympathize with her, and respect her. I cannot oppose her
-roughly, and set myself before everything. Who am I, that she should
-desert what she thinks her duty for me?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I feel like a prophet,’ I said. ‘In this case to be selfish is the
-best.’</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head again. ‘She could not be selfish if she tried,’ he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>Did he mean the words for himself, too? They were neither of them
-selfish. I don’t want to say a word that is wicked, that may discourage
-the good&mdash;they were neither of them strong enough to be selfish.
-Sometimes there is wisdom and help in that quality which is so common. I
-will explain after what I mean. It does not sound true, I am well aware,
-but I think it is true: however in the meantime there was nothing more
-to be said. We began to talk of all sorts of things; of books, with
-which John seemed to be very well acquainted, and of pictures, which he
-knew too&mdash;as much, at least, as a man who had never been out of England,
-nor seen anything but the National Gallery, could know. He was
-acquainted with that by heart, knowing every picture and all that could
-be known about it, making me ashamed, though I had seen a great deal
-more than he had. I felt like one who knows other people’s possessions,
-but not his own. He had never been, so to speak, out of his own house;
-but he knew every picture on the walls there. And he made just as much
-use of his <i>h’s</i> as I do myself. If he was at first a little stiff in
-his demeanour, that wore off as he talked. Ellen left him entirely to
-me. She went off into the back drawing-room with the little ones, and
-made them sing standing round the piano. There was not much light,
-except the candles on the piano, which lighted up their small fresh
-faces and her own bright countenance; and this made the prettiest
-picture<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_291" id="page_291"></a>{291}</span> at the end of the room. While he was talking to me he looked
-that way, and a smile came suddenly over his face&mdash;which drew my
-attention also. ‘Could any painter paint that?’ he said softly, looking
-at them. As the children were mine, you may believe I gazed with as much
-admiration as he. The light seemed to come from those soft faces, not to
-be thrown upon them, and the depth of the room was illuminated by the
-rose-tints, and the whiteness, and the reflected light out of their
-eyes. ‘Rembrandt, perhaps,’ I said; but he shook his head, for he did
-not know much of Rembrandt. When they finished their little store of
-songs I called to Ellen to sing us something by herself. The children
-went away, for it was their bedtime; and all the time the good-nights
-were being said she played a little soft trill of prelude, very sweet,
-and low, and subdued. There was a harmonizing influence in her that made
-everything appropriate. She did things as they ought to be done by
-instinct, without knowing it; while he, with his gaze directed to her,
-felt it all more than she did&mdash;felt the softening of that undertone of
-harmonious accompaniment, the sweet filling up of the pause, the
-background of sound upon which all the little voices babbled out like
-the trickling of brooks. When this was over Ellen did not burst into her
-song all at once, as if to show how we had kept her waiting; but went on
-for a minute or two, hushing out the former little tumult. Then she
-chose another strain, and, while we all sat silent, began to sing&mdash;the
-song I had heard her sing to him when they were alone that summer
-evening. Was there a little breath in it of consciousness, a something
-shadowing from the life to come&mdash;‘I will come again?’ We all sat very
-silent and listened: he with his face turned to her, a tender smile upon
-it&mdash;a look of admiring pleasure. He beat time with his hand, without
-knowing it, rapt in the wistful, tender music, the longing sentiment,
-the pervading consciousness of her, in all. I believe they were both as
-happy as could be while this was going on. She singing to him, and
-knowing that she pleased him, while still conscious of the pleasure of
-all the rest of us, and glad to please us too; and he so proud of her,
-drinking it all in, and knowing it to be for him, yet feeling that he
-was giving us this gratification, making an offering to us of the very
-best that was his. Why was it, then, that we all, surrounding them, a
-voiceless band of spectators, felt the hidden meaning in it, and were
-sorry for them, with a strange impulse of pity&mdash;sorry for those two
-happy people, those two inseparables who had no thought but to pass
-their lives together? I cannot tell how it was; but so it was. We all
-listened with a little thrill of sympathy, as we might have looked at
-those whose doom we knew, but who themselves had not yet found out what
-was coming upon them. And at the end, Ellen too was affected in a
-curious sympathetic way by some mysterious invisible touch of our
-sympathy for her. She came out of the half-lit room behind, with
-trembling,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_292" id="page_292"></a>{292}</span> hurried steps, and came close to my side, and took in both
-hers the hand I held out to her. ‘How silly I am!’ she cried, with a
-little laugh. ‘I could have thought that some message was coming to say
-he must go and leave me. A kind of tremor came over me all at once.’
-‘You are tired,’ I said. And no doubt that had something to do with it;
-but why should the same chill have crept over us all?</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER IV</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> time passed on very quietly during these years. Nothing particular
-happened; so that looking back now&mdash;now that once more things have begun
-to happen, and all the peaceful children who cost me nothing but
-pleasant cares have grown up and are setting forth, each with his and
-her more serious complications, into individual life&mdash;it seems to me
-like a long flowery plain of peace. I did not think so then, and no
-doubt from time to time questions arose that were hard to answer and
-difficulties that cost me painful thought. But now all seems to me a
-sort of heavenly monotony and calm, turning years into days. In this
-gentle domestic quiet six months went by like an afternoon; for it was,
-I think, about six months after the first meeting I have just described
-when Ellen Harwood rushed in one morning with a scared face, to tell me
-of something which had occurred and which threatened to break up in a
-moment the quiet of her life. Mr. Ridgway had come again various
-times&mdash;we had daily intercourse at the window, where, when he passed, he
-always looked up now, and where I seldom failed to see him and give him
-a friendly greeting. This intercourse, though it was so slight, was also
-so constant that it made us very fast friends; and when Ellen, as I have
-said, rushed in very white and breathless one bright spring morning,
-full of something to tell, my first feeling was alarm. Had anything
-happened to John?</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, no. Nothing has happened. At least, I don’t suppose you would say
-anything had happened&mdash;that is, no harm&mdash;except to me,’ said Ellen,
-wringing her hands, ‘except to me! Oh, do you recollect that first night
-he came to see you, when you were so kind as to ask him, and I sang that
-song he is so fond of? I took fright then; I never could tell how&mdash;and
-now it looks as if it would all come true&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘As if what would come true?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Somebody,’ said Ellen, sitting down abruptly in the weariness of her
-dejection, ‘somebody from the office is to go out directly to the
-Levant. Oh, Chatty, dear, you that are learning geography and
-everything, tell me where is the Levant? It is where the currants and
-raisins come from. The firm has got an establishment, and it is
-likely&mdash;oh, it is very likely: they all<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_293" id="page_293"></a>{293}</span> think that John, whom they
-trust so much&mdash;John&mdash;will be sent&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>She broke off with a sob&mdash;a gasp. She was too startled, too much excited
-and frightened, to have the relief of tears.</p>
-
-<p>‘But that would be a very good thing, surely&mdash;it would be the very best
-thing for him. I don’t see any cause for alarm. My dear Ellen, he would
-do his work well; he would be promoted; he would be made a partner&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ She drew a long breath: a gleam of wavering light passed over her
-face. ‘I said you would think it no harm,’ she said mournfully, ‘no
-harm&mdash;except to me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is on the Mediterranean Sea,’ said Chatty over her atlas, with a
-great many big round ‘Oh’s’ of admiration and wonder, ‘where it is
-always summer, always beautiful. Oh, Ellen, I wish I were you! but you
-can send us some oranges,’ the child added philosophically. Ellen gave
-her a rapid glance of mingled fondness and wrath.</p>
-
-<p>‘You think of nothing but oranges!’ she cried (quite unjustly, I must
-say); then putting her hands together and fixing her wistful eyes upon
-me, ‘I feel,’ she said in the same breath, ‘as if the world were coming
-to an end.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You mean it is just about beginning&mdash;for of course he will not go
-without you&mdash;and that is the very best thing that could happen.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, how can you say so? it cannot happen; it is the end of everything,’
-Ellen cried, and I could not console her. She would do nothing but wring
-her hands and repeat her plaint, ‘It is the end of everything.’ Poor
-girl, apart from John her life was dreary enough, though she had never
-felt it dreary. Music lessons in the morning, and after that continual
-attendance upon an exacting fiery invalid. The only break in her round
-of duty had been her evening hours, her little walk and talk with John.
-No wonder that the thought of John’s departure filled her with a terror
-for which she could scarcely find words. And she never took into account
-the other side of the question, the solution which seemed to me so
-certain, so inevitable. She knew better&mdash;that, at least, whatever other
-way might be found out of it, could not be.</p>
-
-<p>Next day in the evening, when he was going home, John himself paused as
-he was passing the window, and looked up with a sort of appeal. I
-answered by beckoning to him to come in, and he obeyed the summons very
-rapidly and eagerly. The spring days had drawn out, and it was now quite
-light when John came home. He came in and sat down beside me, in the
-large square projecting window, which was my favourite place. There was
-a mingled air of eagerness and weariness about him, as if, though
-excited by the new prospect which was opening before him, he was yet
-alarmed by the obstacles in his way, and reluctant, as Ellen herself
-was, to disturb the present peaceful conditions of their life. ‘I do not
-believe,’ he said, ‘that they<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_294" id="page_294"></a>{294}</span> will ever consent. I don’t know how we
-are to struggle against them. People of their age have so much stronger
-wills than we have. They stand to what they want, and they have it,
-reason or no reason.’</p>
-
-<p>‘That is because you give in; you do not stand to what you want,’ I
-said. He looked away beyond me into the evening light, over the heads of
-all the people who were going and coming so briskly in the road, and
-sighed.</p>
-
-<p>‘They have such strong wills. What can you say when people tell you that
-it is impossible, that they never can consent? Ellen and I have never
-said that, or even thought it. When we are opposed we try to think how
-we can compromise, how we can do with as little as possible of what we
-want, so as to satisfy the others. I always thought that was the good
-way, the nobler way,’ he said with a flush coming over his pale face.
-‘Have we been making a mistake?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I fear so&mdash;I think so; yes, I am sure,’ I cried. ‘Yours would be the
-nobler way if&mdash;if there was nobody but yourself to think of.’</p>
-
-<p>He looked at me with a wondering air. ‘I think I must have expressed
-myself wrongly,’ he said; ‘it was not ourselves at all that we were
-thinking of.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I know; but that is just what I object to,’ I said. ‘You sacrifice
-yourselves, and you encourage the other people to be cruelly selfish,
-perhaps without knowing it. All that is virtue in you is evil in them.
-Don’t you see that to accept this giving up of your life is barbarous,
-it is wicked, it is demoralizing to the others. Just in so much as
-people think well of you they will be forced to think badly of them.’</p>
-
-<p>He was a little startled by this view, which, I confess, I struck out on
-the spur of the moment, not really seeing how much sense there was in
-it. I justified myself afterwards to myself, and became rather proud of
-my argument; but for a woman to argue, much less suggest, that
-self-sacrifice is not the chief of all virtues, is terrible. I was half
-frightened and disgusted with myself, as one is when one has brought
-forward in the heat of partisanship a thoroughly bad, yet, for the
-moment, effective argument. But he was staggered, and I felt the thrill
-of success which stirs one to higher effort.</p>
-
-<p>‘I never thought of that; perhaps there is some truth in it,’ he said.
-Then, after a pause, ‘I wonder if you, who have been so good to us all,
-who are fond of Ellen&mdash;I am sure you are fond of Ellen&mdash;and the children
-like her.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Very fond of Ellen, and the children all adore her,’ I said with
-perhaps unnecessary emphasis.</p>
-
-<p>‘To me that seems natural,’ he said, brightening. ‘But yet what right
-have we to ask you to do more? You have been as kind as it is possible
-to be.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You want me to do something more? I will do whatever I can&mdash;only speak
-out.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_295" id="page_295"></a>{295}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘It was this,’ he said, ‘if you would ask&mdash;you who are not an interested
-party&mdash;if you would find out what our prospects are. Ellen does not want
-to escape from her duty. There is nothing we are not capable of
-sacrificing rather than that she should shrink from her duty. I need not
-tell you how serious it is. If I don’t take this&mdash;in case it is offered
-to me&mdash;I may never get another chance again; but, if I must part from
-Ellen, I cannot accept it. I cannot; it would be like parting one’s soul
-from one’s body. But I have no confidence in myself any more than Ellen
-has. They have such strong wills. If they say it must not and cannot
-be&mdash;what can I reply? I know myself. I will yield, and so will Ellen.
-How can one look them in the face and say, ‘Though you are her father
-and mother, we prefer our own comfort to yours?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do not say another word. I will do it,’ I said, half exasperated, half
-sympathetic&mdash;oh, yes! more than half sympathetic. They were fools; but I
-understood it, and was not surprised, though I was exasperated. ‘I will
-go and beard the lion in his den,’ I said. ‘Perhaps they will not let me
-see the lion, only his attendant. But remember this,’ I said
-vindictively, ‘if Ellen and you allow yourselves to be conquered, if you
-are weak and throw away all your hopes, never come to me again. I have
-made up my mind. You must give up me as well as all the rest. I will not
-put up with such weakness.’ John stared at me with alarm in his eyes; he
-was not quite comfortable even when I laughed at my own little bit of
-tragedy. He shook his head with a melancholy perplexity.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t see clearly,’ he said; ‘I don’t seem able to judge. To give in
-is folly; and yet, when you think&mdash;supposing it were duty&mdash;suppose her
-father were to die when she was far away from him?’</p>
-
-<p>‘If we were to consider all these possibilities there never would be a
-marriage made&mdash;never an independent move in life,’ I cried. ‘Parents die
-far from their children, and children, alas! from their parents. How
-could it be otherwise? But God is near to us all. If we were each to
-think ourselves so all-important, life would stand still; there would be
-no more advance, no progress; everything would come to an end.’</p>
-
-<p>John shook his head; partly it was in agreement with what I said, partly
-in doubt for himself. ‘How am I to stand up to them and say, “Never mind
-what you want&mdash;<i>we</i> want something else?” There’s the rub,’ he said,
-still slowly shaking his head. He had no confidence in his own power of
-self-assertion. He had never, I believe, been able to answer
-satisfactorily the question, why should he have any special thing which
-some one else wished for? It was as natural to him to efface himself, to
-resign his claims, as it was to other men to assert them. And yet in
-this point he could not give up&mdash;he could not give Ellen up, come what
-might; but neither could he demand that he and she should be permitted
-to live their own life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_296" id="page_296"></a>{296}</span></p>
-
-<p>After long deliberation I decided that it would not be expedient to rush
-across to Pleasant Place at once and get it over while John and Ellen
-were taking their usual evening walk, which was my first impulse; but to
-wait till the morning, when all would be quiet, and the invalid and his
-wife in their best humour. It was not a pleasant errand; the more I
-thought of it, the less I liked it. If they were people who could demand
-such a sacrifice from their daughter, was it likely that they would be
-so far moved by my arguments as to change their nature? I went through
-the little smoky garden plot, where the familiar London ‘blacks’ lay
-thick on the grass, on the sweetest May morning, when it was a pleasure
-to be alive. The windows were open, the little white muslin curtains
-fluttering. Up-stairs I heard a gruff voice asking for something, and
-another, with a querulous tone in it, giving a reply. My heart began to
-beat louder at the sound. I tried to keep up my courage by all the
-arguments I could think of. Nevertheless, my heart sank down into my
-very shoes when the little maid, with her apron folded over her arm, and
-as grimy as ever, opened to me&mdash;with a curtsey and a ‘La!’ of delighted
-surprise&mdash;this door of fate.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER V</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I had</span> a long time to wait before Mrs. Harwood came. The morning sun was
-shining into the room, making everything more dingy. No doubt it had
-been dusted that morning as well as the little maid could dust it; but
-nothing looked pure or fresh in the brightness of the light, which was
-full of motes, and seemed to find out dust in every corner. The dingy
-cover on the table, the old-fashioned Books of Beauty, the black
-horsehair chairs, stood out remorselessly shabby in the sunshine. I
-wondered what kind of house Ellen would have when she furnished one for
-herself. Would John and she show any ‘taste’ between them&mdash;would they
-‘pick up’ pretty things at sales and old furniture shops, or would they
-buy a drawing-room suite for twenty-five pounds, such as the cheap
-upholsterers offer to the unwary? This question amused me while I
-waited, and I was sorry to think that the new household was to be
-planted in the Levant, and we should not see how it settled itself.
-There was a good deal of commotion going on overhead, but I did not pay
-any attention to it. I pleased myself arranging a little home for the
-new pair&mdash;making it pretty for them. Of her own self Ellen would never,
-I felt sure, choose the drawing-room suite in walnut and blue rep&mdash;not
-now, at least, after she had been so much with us. As for John, he would
-probably think any curtain tolerable so long as she sat under its
-shadow. I had been somewhat afraid of confronting the mother, and
-possibly the father; but these thoughts put my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_297" id="page_297"></a>{297}</span> panic out of my head.
-These horsehair chairs! was there ever such an invention of the evil
-one? Ellen could not like them; it was impossible. When I had come this
-length my attention was suddenly attracted by the sounds up-stairs; for
-there came upon the floor over my head the sound of a foot stamped
-violently in apparent fury. There were voices too; but I could not make
-out what they said. As to this sound however it was easy enough to make
-out what it meant: nothing could be more suggestive. I trembled and
-listened, my thoughts taking an entirely new direction; a stamp of
-anger, of rage, and partially of impotence too. Then there was a woman’s
-voice rising loud in remonstrance. The man seemed to exclaim and
-denounce violently; the woman protested, growing also louder and louder.
-I listened with all my might. It was not eavesdropping; for she, at
-least, knew that I was there; but, listen as I might, I could not make
-out what they said. After a while there was silence, and I heard Mrs.
-Harwood’s step coming down the stairs. She paused to do something,
-perhaps to her cap or her eyes, before she opened the door. She was in a
-flutter of agitation, the flowers in her black cap quivering through all
-their wires, her eyes moist, though looking at me with a suspicious
-gaze. She was very much on her guard, very well aware of my motive,
-determined to give me no encouragement. All this I read in her vigilant
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mrs. Harwood, I came to speak to you&mdash;I promised to come and speak to
-you&mdash;about Mr. Ridgway, who is a great friend of mine, as perhaps you
-know.’</p>
-
-<p>The poor woman was in great agitation and trouble; but this only
-quickened her wits. ‘I see John Ridgway every day of my life,’ she said,
-not without a little dignity. ‘He might say whatever he pleased to me
-without asking anybody to speak for him.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Won’t you give your consent to this marriage?’ I asked. It seemed
-wisest to plunge into it at once. ‘It is my own anxiety that makes me
-speak. I have always been anxious about it, almost before I knew them.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There are other things in the world besides marriages,’ she said. ‘In
-this house we have a great deal to think of. My husband&mdash;no doubt you
-heard his voice just now&mdash;he is a great sufferer. For years he has been
-confined to that little room up-stairs. That is not a very cheerful
-life.’</p>
-
-<p>Here she made a pause, which I did not attempt to interrupt; for she had
-disarmed me by this half-appeal to my sympathy. Then suddenly, with her
-voice a little shaken and unsteady, she burst forth: ‘The only company
-he has is Ellen. What can I do to amuse him&mdash;to lead his thoughts off
-himself? I have as much need of comfort as he has. The only bright thing
-in the house is Ellen. What would become of us if we were left only the
-two together all these long days? They are long enough as it is. He has
-not a very good temper, and he is weary with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_298" id="page_298"></a>{298}</span> trouble&mdash;who wouldn’t be
-in his case? John Ridgway is a young man with all the world before him.
-Why can’t he wait? Why should he want to take our only comfort away from
-us?’</p>
-
-<p>Her voice grew shrill and broken; she began to cry. Poor soul! I believe
-she had been arguing with her husband on the other side; but it was a
-little comfort to her to pour out her own grievances, her alarm and
-distress, to me. I was silenced. How true it had been what John Ridgway
-said: How could he, so gentle a man, assert himself in the face of this,
-and claim Ellen as of chief importance to him? Had not they a prior
-claim?&mdash;was not her duty first to her father and mother? I was put to
-silence myself. I did not know what to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘The only thing is,’ I said timidly at last, ‘that I should think it
-would be a comfort to you to feel that Ellen was settled, that she had a
-home of her own, and a good husband who would take care of her when&mdash;She
-ought to outlive us all,’ I added, not knowing how to put it. ‘And if it
-were to be always as you say,’ I went on, getting a little courage,
-‘there would be no marriages, no new homes. We have all had fathers and
-mothers who had claims upon us. What can it be but a heartbreak to bring
-up a girl for twenty years and more, and think everything of her, and
-then see her go away and give her whole heart to some one else, and
-leave us with a smile on her face?’ The idea carried me away&mdash;it filled
-my own heart with a sort of sweet bitterness; for had not my own girl
-just passed that age and crisis? ‘Oh! I understand you; I feel with you;
-I am not unsympathetic. But when one thinks&mdash;they must live longer than
-we; they must have children too, and love as we have loved. You would
-not like, neither you nor I, if no one cared&mdash;if our girls were left out
-when all the others are loved and courted. You like this good John to be
-fond of her&mdash;to ask you for her. You would not have been pleased if
-Ellen had just lived on and on here, your daughter and nothing more.’</p>
-
-<p>This argument had some weight upon her. She felt the truth of what I
-said. However hard the after consequences may be, we still must have our
-‘bairn respectit like the lave.’ But on this point Mrs. Harwood
-maintained her position on a height of superiority which few ordinary
-mortals, even when the mothers of attractive girls, can attain. ‘I have
-never made any objection,’ she said, ‘to his coming in the evening.
-Sometimes it is rather inconvenient; but I do not oppose his being here
-every night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And you expect him to be content with this all his life?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It would be better to say all my life,’ she replied severely; ‘no, not
-even that. As for me, it does not matter much. I am not one to put
-myself in anybody’s way; but all her father’s life&mdash;which can’t be very
-long now,’ she added, with a sudden gush of tears. They were so near the
-surface that they flowed at the slightest touch, and besides, they were
-a great help to her argument. ‘I don’t think it is too much,’ she cried,
-‘that she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_299" id="page_299"></a>{299}</span> should see her poor father out first. She has been the only
-one that has cheered him up. She is company to him, which I am not. All
-his troubles are mine, you see. I feel it when his rheumatism is bad;
-but Ellen is outside: she can talk and be bright. What should I do
-without her! What should I do without her! I should be nothing better
-than a slave! I am afraid to think of it; and her father&mdash;her poor
-father&mdash;it would break his heart; it would kill him. I know that it
-would kill him,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>Here I must acknowledge that I was very wicked. I could not but think in
-my heart that it would not be at all a bad thing if Ellen’s marriage did
-kill this unseen father of hers who had tired their patience so long,
-and who stamped his foot with rage at the idea that the poor girl might
-get out of his clutches. He was an old man, and he was a great sufferer.
-Why should he be so anxious to live? And if a sacrifice was necessary,
-old Mr. Harwood might just as well be the one to make it as those two
-good young people from whom he was willing to take all the pleasure of
-their lives. But this of course was a sentiment to which I dared not
-give utterance. We stood and looked at each other while these thoughts
-were going through my mind. She felt that she had produced an
-impression, and was too wise to say anything more to diminish it&mdash;while
-I, for my part, was silenced, and did not know what to say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Then they must give in again,’ I said at last. ‘They must part; and if
-she has to spend the rest of her life in giving music lessons, and he to
-go away, to lose heart and forget her, and be married by any one who
-will have him in his despair and loneliness&mdash;I hope you will think that
-a satisfactory conclusion&mdash;but I do not. I do not!’</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Harwood trembled as she looked at me. Was I hard upon her? She
-shrank aside as if I had given her a blow. ‘It is not me that will part
-them,’ she said. ‘I have never objected. Often it is very
-inconvenient&mdash;you would not like it yourself if every evening, good or
-bad, there was a strange man in your house. But I never made any
-objection. He is welcome to come as long as he likes. It is not me that
-says a word&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Do you want him to throw up his appointment?’ I cried, ‘his means of
-life.’</p>
-
-<p>She looked at me with her face set. I might have noticed, had I chosen,
-that all the flowers in her cap were shaking and quivering in the shadow
-cast upon the further wall by the sunshine, but did not care to remark,
-being angry, this sign of emotion. ‘If he is so fond of Ellen, he will
-not mind giving up a chance,’ she said; ‘if some one must give in, why
-should it be Harwood and me?’</p>
-
-<p>After this I left Pleasant Place hurriedly, with a great deal of
-indignation in my mind. Even then I was not quite sure of my right to be
-indignant; but I was so. ‘If some one must give in, why should it be
-Harwood and me?’ I said to myself that John<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_300" id="page_300"></a>{300}</span> had known what he would
-encounter, that he had been right in distrusting himself; but he had not
-been right in trusting me. I had made no stand against the other side.
-When you come to haggle about it, and to be uncertain which should give
-in, how painful the complications of life become! To be perfect,
-renunciation must be without a word; it must be done as if it were the
-most natural thing in the world. The moment it is discussed and shifted
-from one to another, it becomes vulgar, like most things in this
-universe. This was what I said to myself as I came out into the fresh
-air and sunshine, out of the little stuffy house. I began to hate it
-with its dingy carpets and curtains, its horsehair chairs, that shabby,
-shabby little parlour&mdash;how could anybody think of it as home? I can
-understand a bright little kitchen, with white hearth and floor, with
-the firelight shining in all the pans and dishes. But this dusty place
-with its antimacassars! These thoughts were in my mind when, turning the
-corner, I met Ellen full in the face, and felt like a traitor, as if I
-had been speaking ill of her. She looked at me, too, with some surprise.
-To see me there, coming out of Pleasant Place, startled her. She did not
-ask me, Where have you been? but her eyes did, with a bewildered gleam.</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes; I have been to see your mother,’ I said; ‘you are quite right,
-Ellen. And why? Because I am so much interested; and I wanted to see
-what mind she was in about your marriage.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My&mdash;marriage! there never was any question of that,’ she said quickly,
-with a sudden flush.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are just as bad as the others,’ said I, moved by this new
-contradiction. ‘What! after taking that poor young man’s devotion for so
-long, you will let him go away&mdash;go alone, break off everything.’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen had grown pale as suddenly as she had blushed. ‘Is that
-necessary?’ she said, alarmed. ‘Break off everything? I never thought of
-that. But, indeed, I think you are making a mistake. If he goes, we
-shall have to part, but only&mdash;only for a time.’</p>
-
-<p>‘How can you tell,’ I cried, being highly excited, ‘how long he may be
-there? He may linger out his life there, always thinking about you, and
-longing for you&mdash;unless he gets weary and disgusted, and asks himself
-what is the use, at the last. Such things have been; and you on your
-side will linger here, running out and in to your lessons with no longer
-any heart for them; unable to keep yourself from thinking that everybody
-is cruel, that life itself is cruel&mdash;all because you have not the
-courage, the spirit&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>She put her hand on mine and squeezed it suddenly, so that she hurt me.
-‘Don’t!’ she cried; ‘you don’t know; there is nothing, not a word to be
-said. It is you who are cruel&mdash;you who are so kind; so much as to speak
-of it, when it cannot be! It cannot be&mdash;that is the whole matter. It is
-out of the question. Supposing even that I get to think life cruel, and
-supposing he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_301" id="page_301"></a>{301}</span> should get weary and disgusted. Oh! it was you that said
-it, you that are so kind. Supposing all that, yet it is impossible; it
-cannot be; there is nothing more to be said.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You will see him go away calmly, notwithstanding all?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Calmly,’ she said, with a little laugh, ‘calmly&mdash;yes, I suppose that is
-the word. I will see him go calmly. I shall not make any fuss if that is
-what you mean.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen, I do not understand. I never heard you speak like this before.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You never saw me like this before,’ she said with a gasp. She was
-breathless with a restrained excitement which looked like despair. But
-when I spoke further, when I would have discussed the matter, she put up
-her hand and stopped me. There was something in her face, in its fixed
-expression, which was like the countenance with which her mother had
-replied to me. It was a startling thought to me that Ellen’s soft fresh
-face, with its pretty bloom, could ever be like that other face
-surmounted by the black cap and crown of shabby flowers. She turned and
-walked with me along the road to my own door, but nothing further was
-said. We went along side by side silent till we reached my house, when
-she put out her hand and touched mine suddenly, and said that she was in
-a hurry and must run away. I went in more disturbed than I can say. She
-had always been so ready to yield, so cheerful, so soft, independent
-indeed, but never harsh in her independence. What did this change mean?
-I felt as if some one to whom I had turned in kindness had met me with a
-blow. But by and by, when I thought better of it, I began to understand
-Ellen. Had not I said to myself, a few minutes before, that
-self-renunciation, when it had to be, must be done silently without a
-word? better perhaps that it should be done angrily than with
-self-demonstration, self-assertion. Ellen had comprehended this; she had
-perceived that it must not be asked or speculated upon, which was to
-yield. She had chosen her part, and she would not have it discussed or
-even remarked. I sat in my window pondering while the bright afternoon
-went by, looking out upon the distant depths of the blue spring
-atmosphere, just touched by haze, as the air, however bright, always is
-in London, seeing the people go by in an endless stream without noticing
-them, without thinking of them. How rare it is in human affairs that
-there is not some one who must give up to the others, some one who must
-sacrifice himself or be sacrificed! And the one to whom this lot falls
-is always the one who will do it; that is the rule so far as my
-observation goes. There are some whom nature moves that way, who cannot
-stand upon their rights, who are touched by the claims of others and can
-make no resistance on their own account. The tools are to him that can
-handle them, as our philosopher says; and likewise the sacrifices of
-life to him who will bear them. Refuse them, that is the only way; but
-if it is not in your nature to refuse them, what can you do?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_302" id="page_302"></a>{302}</span> Alas! for
-sacrifice is seldom blessed. I am saying something which will sound
-almost impious to many. Human life is built upon it, and social order;
-yet personally in itself it is seldom blessed; it debases those who
-accept it; it harms even those who, without wilfully accepting it, have
-a dim perception that something is being done for them which has no
-right to be done. It may, perhaps&mdash;I cannot tell&mdash;bear fruit of
-happiness in the hearts of those who practise it. I cannot tell.
-Sacrifices are as often mistaken as other things. Their divineness does
-not make them wise. Sometimes, looking back, even the celebrant will
-perceive that his offering had better not have been made.</p>
-
-<p>All this was going sadly through my mind when I perceived that some one
-was passing slowly, endeavouring to attract my attention. By this time
-it was getting towards evening&mdash;and as soon as I was fully roused I saw
-that it was John Ridgway. If I could have avoided him I should have done
-so, but now it was not possible; I made him a sign to come up-stairs. He
-came into the drawing-room slowly, with none of the eagerness that there
-had been in his air on the previous day, and it may easily be believed
-that on my side I was not eager to see him to tell him my story. He came
-and sat down by me, swinging his stick in his usual absent way, and for
-a minute neither of us spoke.</p>
-
-<p>‘You do not ask me if I have any news for you; you have seen Ellen!’</p>
-
-<p>‘No; it is only because I have news on my side. I am not going after
-all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are not going!’</p>
-
-<p>‘You are disappointed,’ he said, looking at me with a face which was
-full of interest and sympathy. These are the only words I can use. The
-disappointment was his, not mine; yet he was more sympathetic with my
-feeling about it than impressed by his own. ‘As for me, I don’t seem to
-care. It is better in one way, if it is worse in another. It stops any
-rise in life; but what do I care for a rise in life? they would never
-have let me take Ellen. I knew that even before I saw it in your eyes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen ought to judge for herself,’ I said, ‘and you ought to judge for
-yourself; you are of full age; you are not boy and girl. No parents have
-a right to separate you now. And that old man may go on just the same
-for the next dozen years.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Did you see him?’ John asked. He had a languid, wearied look, scarcely
-lifting his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘I saw only her; but I know perfectly well what kind of man he is. He
-may live for the next twenty years. There is no end to these tyrannical,
-ill-tempered people; they live for ever. You ought to judge for
-yourselves. If they had their daughter settled near, coming to them from
-her own pleasant little home, they would be a great deal happier. You
-may believe me or not, but I know it. Her visits would be events; they
-would be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_303" id="page_303"></a>{303}</span> proud of her, and tell everybody about her family, and what a
-good husband she had got, and how he gave her everything she could
-desire.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Please God,’ said John, devoutly; his countenance had brightened in
-spite of himself. But then he shook his head. ‘If we had but got as far
-as that,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘You ought to take it into your own hands,’ cried I in all the fervour
-of a revolutionary. ‘If you sacrifice your happiness to them, it will
-not do them any good; it will rather do them harm. Are you going now to
-tell your news?’</p>
-
-<p>He had got up on his feet, and stood vaguely hovering over me with a
-faint smile upon his face. ‘She will be pleased,’ he said; ‘no
-advancement, but no separation. I have not much ambition; I think I am
-happy too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then, if you are all pleased,’ I cried, with annoyance which I could
-not restrain, ‘why did you send me on such an errand? I am the only one
-that seems to be impatient of the present state of affairs, and it is
-none of my business. Another time you need not say anything about it to
-me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘There will never be a time when we shall not be grateful to you,’ said
-John; but even his mild look of appealing reproach did not move me. It
-is hard to interest yourself in people and find after all that they like
-their own way best.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER VI</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">He</span> was quite right in thinking Ellen would be pleased. And yet, after it
-was all over, she was a little wounded and disappointed, which was very
-natural. She did not want him to go away, but she wanted him to get the
-advancement all the same. This was foolish, but still it was natural,
-and just what a woman would feel. She took great pains to explain to us
-that it was not hesitation about John, nor even any hesitation on the
-part of John in going&mdash;for Ellen had a quick sense of what was desirable
-and heroic, and would not have wished her lover to appear indifferent
-about his own advancement, even though she was very thankful and happy
-that in reality he was so. The reason of the failure was that the firm
-had sent out a nephew, who was in the office, and had a prior claim. ‘Of
-course he had the first chance,’ Ellen said, with a countenance of great
-seriousness; ‘what would be the good of being a relation if he did not
-have the first chance?’ And I assented with all the gravity in the
-world. But she was disappointed, though she was so glad. There ought not
-to have been any one in the world who had the preference over John! She
-carried herself with great dignity for some time afterwards, and with
-the air of a person superior to the foolish and partial judgments of the
-world; and yet in her heart how thankful she was! from what an abyss of
-blank<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_304" id="page_304"></a>{304}</span> loneliness and weary exertion was her life saved! For now that I
-knew it a little better I could see how little that was happy was in her
-home. Her mother insisted that she should have that hour’s leisure in
-the evening. That was all that any one thought of doing for her. It was
-enough to keep her happy, to keep her hopeful. But without that, how
-long would Ellen’s brave spirit have kept up? Perhaps had she never
-known John, and that life of infinite tender communion, her natural
-happy temperament would have struggled on for a long time against all
-the depressing effects of circumstances, unaided. But to lose is worse
-than never to have had. If it is</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i0">Better to have loved and lost,<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">Than never to have loved at all,<br /></span>
-</div></div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">yet it is at the same time harder to lose that bloom of existence out of
-your lot, than to have struggled on by mere help of nature without it.
-She had been so happy&mdash;making so little go such a long way!&mdash;that the
-loss of her little happiness would have been appalling to her. And yet
-she was dissatisfied that this heartbreak did not come. She had strung
-herself up to it. It would have been advancement, progress, all that a
-woman desires for those belonging to her, for John. Sacrificing him for
-the others, she was half angry not to have it in her power to sacrifice
-herself to his ‘rise in life.’ I think I understood her, though we never
-talked on the subject. She was dissatisfied, although she was relieved.
-We have all known these mingled feelings.</p>
-
-<p>This happened at the beginning of summer; but all its agitations were
-over before the long sweet days and endless twilights of the happy
-season had fully expanded upon us. It seems to me as I grow older that a
-great deal of the comfort of our lives depends upon summer&mdash;upon the
-weather, let us say, taking it in its most prosaic form. Sometimes
-indeed to the sorrowful the brightness is oppressive; but to all the
-masses of ordinary mortals who are neither glad nor sad, it is a
-wonderful matter not to be chilled to the bone; to be able to do their
-work without thinking of a fire; without having a sensation of cold
-always in their lives never to be got rid of. Ellen and her lover
-enjoyed that summer as people who have been under sentence of banishment
-enjoy their native country and their home.</p>
-
-<p>You may think there is not much beauty in a London suburb to tempt any
-one: and there is not for those who can retire to the beautiful fresh
-country when they will, and surround themselves with waving woods and
-green lawns, or taste the freshness of the mountains or the saltness of
-the sea. We, who go away every year in July, pined and longed for the
-moment of our removal; and my neighbour in the great house which shut
-out the air from Pleasant Place, panted in her great garden (which she
-was proud to think was almost unparalleled for growth and shade in
-London), and declared herself incapable of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_305" id="page_305"></a>{305}</span> breathing any longer in such
-a close and shut up locality. But the dwellers in Pleasant Place were
-less exacting. They thought the long suburban road very pleasant. Where
-it streamed off into little dusty houses covered with brown ivy and
-dismal trellis work, and where every unfortunate flower was thick with
-dust, they gazed with a touch of envy at the ‘gardens,’ and felt it to
-be rural. When my pair of lovers went out for their walk they had not
-time to go further than to the ‘Green Man,’ a little tavern upon the
-roadside, where one big old elm tree, which had braved the dust and the
-frost for more years than any one could recollect, stood out at a corner
-at the junction of two roads, with a bench round it, where the passing
-carters and cabmen drank their beer, and a trough for the horses, which
-made it look ‘quite in the country’ to all the inhabitants of our
-district. Generally they got as far as that, passing the dusty cottages
-and the little terrace of new houses. A great and prolonged and most
-entertaining controversy went on between them as they walked, as to the
-kind of house in which they should eventually settle down. Ellen, who
-was not without a bit of romance in her, of the only kind practicable
-with her upbringing, entertained a longing for one of the dusty little
-cottages. She thought, like all inexperienced persons, that in her hands
-it would not be dusty. She would find means of keeping the ivy green.
-She would see that the flowers grew sweet and clean, and set blacks and
-dust alike at defiance. John, for his part, whose lodging was in one of
-those little houses, preferred the new terrace. It was very new&mdash;very
-like a row of ginger-bread houses&mdash;but it was very clean, and for the
-moment bright, not as yet penetrated by the dust. Sometimes I was made
-the confidante of these interminable, always renewed, always delightful
-discussions. ‘They are not dusty yet,’ Ellen would say, ‘but how long
-will it be before they are dusty? whereas with the villas’ (they had a
-great variety of names&mdash;Montpellier Villas, Funchal Villas, Mentone
-Mansions&mdash;for the district was supposed to be very mild) ‘one knows what
-one has to expect; and if one could not keep the dust and the blacks out
-with the help of brushes and dusters, what would be the good of one? I
-should sow mignonette and Virginia stock,’ she cried with a firm faith;
-‘low-growing flowers would be sure to thrive. It is only roses (poor
-roses!) and tall plants that come to harm.’ John, for his part, dwelt
-much upon the fact that in the little front parlours of the terrace
-houses there were shelves for books fitted into a recess. This weighed
-quite as much with him as the cleanness of the new places. ‘The villas
-are too dingy for her,’ he said, looking admiringly at her fresh face.
-‘She could never endure the little gray, grimy rooms.’ That was his
-romance, to think that everything should be shining and bright about
-her. He was unconscious of the dinginess of the parlour in Ellen’s home.
-It was all irradiated with her presence to him. These discussions
-however all ended<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_306" id="page_306"></a>{306}</span> in a sigh and a laugh from Ellen herself. ‘It is all
-very fine talking,’ she would say.</p>
-
-<p>And so the summer went on. Alas! and other summers after it. My eldest
-girl married. My boys went out into the world. Many changes came upon
-our house. The children began to think it a very undesirable locality.
-Even Chatty, always the sweetest, sighed for South Kensington, if not
-for a house in the country and a month in London in the season, which
-was what the other girls wished for. This common suburban road, far from
-fashion, far from society&mdash;what but their mother’s inveterate
-old-fashionedness and indifference to appearances could have kept them
-there so long? The great house opposite with the garden had ceased to
-be. The high wall was gone from Pleasant Place, and instead of it stood
-a fresh row of little villakins like the terrace which had once been
-John Ridgway’s admiration. Alas! Ellen’s forebodings had been fully
-realized, and the terrace was as dingy as Montpellier Villas by this
-time. The whole neighbourhood was changing. Half the good houses in the
-road&mdash;the houses, so to speak, of the aristocracy, which to name was to
-command respect from all the neighbourhood&mdash;had been built out and
-adorned with large fronts of plate glass and made into shops. Omnibuses
-now rolled along the dusty way. The station where they used to stop had
-been pushed out beyond the ‘Green Man,’ which once we had felt to be
-‘quite in the country.’ Everything was changing; but my pair of lovers
-did not change. Ellen got other pupils instead of Chatty and her
-contemporaries who were growing up and beyond her skill, and came out at
-ten o’clock every morning with as fresh a face as ever, and her little
-roll of music always in her hand. And every evening, though now he was
-set down at his lodgings from the omnibus, and no longer passed my
-window on his way home, John made his pilgrimage of love to Pleasant
-Place. She kept her youth&mdash;the sweet complexion, the dew in her eyes,
-and the bloom upon her cheek&mdash;in a way I could not understand. The long
-waiting did not seem to try her. She had always his evening visit to
-look for, and her days were full of occupation. But John, who had
-naturally a worn look, did not bear the probation so well as Ellen. He
-grew bald; a general rustiness came over him. He had looked older than
-he was to begin with: his light locks, his colourless countenance, faded
-into a look of age. He was very patient&mdash;almost more patient than Ellen,
-who, being of a more vivacious temper, had occasioned little outbursts
-of petulant despair, of which she was greatly ashamed afterwards; but at
-the same time this prolonged and hopeless waiting had more effect upon
-him than upon her. Sometimes he would come to see me by himself for the
-mere pleasure, it seemed to me, though we rarely spoke on the subject,
-of being understood.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is this to go on for ever?’ I said. ‘Is it never to come to an end?’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_307" id="page_307"></a>{307}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘It looks like it,’ said John, somewhat drearily. ‘We always talk about
-our little house. I have got three rises since then. I doubt if I shall
-ever have any more; but we don’t seem a bit nearer&mdash;&mdash;’ and he ended
-with a sigh&mdash;not of impatience, like those quick sighs mixed up with
-indignant, abrupt little laughs in which Ellen often gave vent to her
-feelings&mdash;but of weariness and despondency much more hard to bear.</p>
-
-<p>‘And the father,’ I said, ‘seems not a day nearer the end of his
-trouble. Poor man, I don’t wish him any harm.’</p>
-
-<p>This, I fear, was a hypocritical speech, for in my heart I should not
-have been at all sorry to hear that his ‘trouble’ was coming to an end.</p>
-
-<p>Then for the first time a gleam of humour lighted in John’s eye. ‘I am
-beginning to suspect that he is&mdash;better,’ he said; ‘stronger at least. I
-am pretty sure he has no thought of coming to an end.’</p>
-
-<p>‘All the better,’ I said; ‘if he gets well, Ellen will be free.’</p>
-
-<p>‘He will never get well,’ said John, falling back into his dejection,
-‘and he will never die.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then it will never come to anything. Can you consent to that?’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>He made me no reply. He shook his head; whether in dismal acceptance of
-the situation, whether in protest against it, I cannot tell. This
-interview filled me with dismay. I spent hours pondering whether, and
-how, I could interfere. My interference had not been of much use before.
-And my children began to laugh when this lingering, commonplace little
-romance was talked of. ‘My mother’s lovers,’ the boys called them&mdash;‘My
-mother’s turtle-doves.’</p>
-
-<p>The time had almost run on to the length of Jacob’s wooing when one day
-Ellen came to me, not running in, eager and troubled with her secret as
-of old, but so much more quietly than usual, with such a still and fixed
-composure about her, that I knew something serious had happened. I sent
-away as quickly as I could the other people who were in the room, for I
-need not say that to find me alone was all but an impossibility. I gave
-Chatty, now a fine, tall girl of twenty, a look, which was enough for
-her; she always understood better than any one. And when at last we were
-free I turned to my visitor anxiously. ‘What is it?’ I said. It did not
-excite her so much as it did me.</p>
-
-<p>She gave a little abstracted smile. ‘You always see through me,’ she
-said. ‘I thought there was no meaning in my face. It has come at last.
-He is really going this time, directly, to the Levant. Oh, what a little
-thing Chatty was when I asked her to look in the atlas for the Levant;
-and now she is going to be married! What will you do,’ she asked
-abruptly, stopping short to look at me, ‘when they are all married and
-you are left alone?’</p>
-
-<p>I had asked myself this question sometimes, and it was not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_308" id="page_308"></a>{308}</span> one I liked.
-‘<span class="lftspc">“</span>Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof,”<span class="lftspc">’</span> I said; ‘the two little
-ones of all have not so much as thought of marrying yet.’</p>
-
-<p>Ellen answered me with a sigh, a quickly drawn impatient breath. ‘He is
-to sail in a fortnight,’ she said. ‘Things have gone wrong with the
-nephew. I knew he never could be so good as John; and now John must go
-in a hurry to set things right. What a good thing that it is all in a
-hurry! We shall not have time to think.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You must go with him&mdash;you must go with him, Ellen!’ I cried.</p>
-
-<p>She turned upon me almost with severity in her tone. ‘I thought you knew
-better. I&mdash;go with him! Look here,’ she cried very hurriedly, ‘don’t
-think I don’t face the full consequences&mdash;the whole matter. He is tired,
-tired to death. He will be glad to go&mdash;and after&mdash;after! If he should
-find some one else there, I shall never be the one to blame him.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen! you ought to ask his pardon on your knees&mdash;he find some one
-else! What wrong you do to the faithfullest&mdash;the truest&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘He is the faithfullest,’ she said; then, after a moment, ‘but I will
-never blame him. I tell you beforehand. He has been more patient than
-ever man was.’</p>
-
-<p>Did she believe what she was saying? It was very hard to know. The
-fortnight flew by like a day. The days had been very long before in
-their monotony, but now these two weeks were like two hours. I never
-quite knew what passed. John had taken his courage in both hands, and
-had bearded the father himself in his den: but, so far as I could make
-out, it was not the father but the mother with her tears who vanquished
-him. ‘When I saw what her life was,’ he said to me when he took leave of
-me, ‘such a life! my mouth was closed. Who am I that I should take away
-her only comfort from her? We love each other very dearly, it is our
-happiness, it is the one thing which makes everything else sweet: but
-perhaps, as Ellen says, there is no duty in it. It is all enjoyment. Her
-duty is to them; it is her pleasure, she says, her happiness to be with
-me.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But&mdash;but you have been engaged for years. No doubt it is your
-happiness&mdash;but surely there is duty too.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She says not. My mind is rather confused. I don’t seem to know. Duty,
-you know, duty is a thing that it is rather hard to do; something one
-has to raise one’s self up to, and carry through with it, whether we
-like it or whether we don’t like it. That’s her definition; and it seems
-right&mdash;don’t you think it is right? But to say that of us would be
-absurd. It is all pleasure&mdash;all delight,’ his tired eyelids rose a
-little to show a gleam of emotion, then dropped again with a sigh; ‘that
-is her argument; I suppose it is true.’
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_309" id="page_309"></a>{309}</span>
-‘Then, do you mean to say&mdash;&mdash;’ I cried, and stopped short in sheer
-bewilderment of mind, not knowing what words to use.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t think I mean to say anything. My head is all confused. I don’t
-seem to know. Our feeling is all one wish to be together; only to see
-one another makes us happy. Can there be duty in that? she says. It
-seems right, yet sometimes I think it is wrong, though I can’t tell
-how.’</p>
-
-<p>I was confused too and silenced. I did not know what to say. ‘It
-depends,’ I said faltering, ‘upon what you consider the object of life.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Some people say happiness; but that would not suit Ellen’s theory,’ he
-said. ‘Duty&mdash;I had an idea myself that duty was easily defined; but it
-seems it is as difficult as everything is. So far as I can make out,’ he
-added with a faint smile, ‘I have got no duties at all.’</p>
-
-<p>‘To be faithful to her,’ I said, recollecting the strange speech she had
-made to me.</p>
-
-<p>He almost laughed outright. ‘Faithful! that is no duty; it is my
-existence. Do you think I could be unfaithful if I were to try?’</p>
-
-<p>These were almost the last words he said to me. I suppose he satisfied
-himself that his duty to his employer required him to go away. And Ellen
-had a feverish desire that he should go away, now that the matter had
-been broached a second time. I am not sure that when the possibility of
-sacrifice on his part dawned upon her, the chance that he might
-relinquish for her this renewed chance of rising in the world, there did
-not arise in her mind a hasty impatient wish that he might be
-unfaithful, and give her up altogether. Sometimes the impatience of a
-tired spirit will take this form. Ellen was very proud; by dint of
-having made sacrifices all her life, she had an impetuous terror of
-being in her turn the object for which sacrifices should be made. To
-accept them was bitterness to her. She was eager to hurry all his
-preparations, to get him despatched, if possible, a little earlier than
-the necessary time. She kept a cheerful face, making little jokes about
-the Levant and the people he would meet there, which surprised
-everybody. ‘Is she glad that he is going? Chatty asked me, with eyes
-like two round lamps of alarmed surprise. The last night of all they
-spent with us&mdash;and it seemed a relief to Ellen that it should be thus
-spent, and not <i>tête-à-tête</i> as so many other evenings had been. It was
-the very height and flush of summer, an evening which would not sink
-into darkness and night as other evenings do. The moon was up long
-before the sun had gone reluctantly away. We sat without the lamp in the
-soft twilight, with the stream of wayfarers going past the windows, and
-all the familiar sounds, which were not vulgar to us, we were so used to
-them. They were both glad of the half light. When I told Ellen to go and
-sing to us, she refused at first with a look of reproach; then, with a
-little shake of her head, as if to throw<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_310" id="page_310"></a>{310}</span> off all weakness, changed her
-mind and went to the piano. It was Chatty who insisted upon Mr.
-Ridgway’s favourite song, perhaps out of heedlessness, perhaps with that
-curious propensity the young often have to probe wounds and investigate
-how deep a sentiment may go. We sat in the larger room, John and myself,
-while behind, in the dim evening, in the distance, scarcely visible,
-Ellen sat at the piano and sang. What the effort cost her I would not
-venture to inquire. As for him, he sat with melancholy composure
-listening to every tone of her voice. She had a very sweet refined
-voice&mdash;not powerful, but tender, what people call sympathetic. I could
-not distinguish his face, but I saw his hand beat the measure
-accompanying every line, and when she came to the burden of the song he
-said it over softly to himself. Broken by all the babble outside, and by
-the music in the background, I yet heard him, all tuneless and low,
-murmuring this to himself: ‘I will come again, I will come again, my
-sweet and bonnie.’ Whether his eyes were dry I cannot tell, but mine
-were wet. He said them with no excitement, as if they were the words
-most simple, most natural&mdash;the very breathing of his heart. How often, I
-wonder, would he think of that dim room, the half-seen companions, the
-sweet and tender voice rising out of the twilight? I said to myself,
-‘Whoever may mistrust you, I will never mistrust you,’ with fervour. But
-just as the words passed through my mind, as if Ellen had heard them,
-her song broke off all in a moment, died away in the last line, ‘I will
-come a&mdash;&mdash;’ There was a sudden break, a jar on the piano&mdash;and she
-sprang up and came towards us, stumbling, with her hands put out, as it
-she could not see. The next sound I heard was an unsteady little laugh,
-as she threw herself down on a sofa in the corner where Chatty was
-sitting. ‘I wonder why you are all so fond of that old-fashioned
-nonsense,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>And next day the last farewells were said, and John went away.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER VII</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">We</span> left town directly after this for the autumn holidays. The holidays
-had not very much meaning now that all the boys had left school, and we
-might have gone away when we pleased. But the two youngest girls were
-still in the remorseless hands of Fräulein Stimme, and the habit of
-emancipation in the regular holiday season had clung to me. I tried very
-hard to get Ellen to go with us, for at least a day or two, but she
-resisted with a kind of passion. Her mother, I am sure, would have been
-glad had she gone; but Ellen would not. There was in her face a secret
-protestation, of which she was perhaps not even herself aware, that if
-her duty bound life itself from all expansion, it must also bind her in
-every day of her life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_311" id="page_311"></a>{311}</span> She would not accept the small alleviation,
-having, with her eyes open and with a full sense of what she was about,
-resigned everything else. She would have been more perfect, and her
-sacrifice more sweet, had she taken sweetly the little consolations of
-every day; but nobody is perfect, and Ellen would not come. I had gone
-to Pleasant Place to ask her, and the scene was a curious one. The
-mother and daughter both came to the parlour to receive me, and I saw
-them together for the first time. It was about a fortnight after John
-went away. Ellen had not been ill, though I had feared she would; but
-she was pale, with dark lines under her eyes, and a worn and nervous
-look. She was bearing her burden very bravely, but it was all the harder
-upon her that she was evidently determined not to complain. When I told
-my errand, Mrs. Harwood replied eagerly. ‘You must go, Ellen. Oh, yes! I
-can do; I can do very well. It will only be for a week, and it will do
-you so much good; you must go.’ Ellen took scarcely any notice of this
-address. She thanked me with her usual smile. ‘It is very, very good of
-you&mdash;you are always good&mdash;but it is impossible.’ ‘Why impossible, why
-impossible?’ cried her mother. ‘When I tell you I can do very well&mdash;I
-can manage. Your father will not mind, when it is to do you good.’ I saw
-that Ellen required a moment’s interval of preparation before she looked
-round.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dear mother,’ she said, ‘we have not any make-believes between us, have
-we? How is it possible that I can go? Every moment is mapped out. No,
-no; I cannot do it. Thank you all the same. My mother wants to give me a
-pleasure, but it cannot be. Go away for a week! I have never done that
-in all my life.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you think she can, you think she ought,’ I said, turning to her
-mother. The poor woman looked at her child with a piteous look. I think
-it dawned upon her, then and there, for the first time, that perhaps she
-had made a mistake about Ellen. It had not occurred to her that there
-had been any selfishness in her tearful sense of the impossibility of
-parting with her daughter. All at once, in a moment, with a sudden gleam
-of that enlightenment which so often comes too late, she saw it. She saw
-it, and it went through her like an arrow. She turned to me with another
-piteous glance. What have I done? what have I done? her looks seemed to
-say.</p>
-
-<p>‘Two or three days,’ the poor woman said, with a melancholy attempt at
-playfulness. ‘Nothing can happen to us in that time. Her father is ill,’
-she said, turning to me as if I knew nothing, ‘and we are always
-anxious, he thinks it will be too much for me by myself. But what does
-it matter for a few days? If I am overdone, I can rest when she comes
-back.’</p>
-
-<p>Was it possible she could suppose that this was all I knew? I was afraid
-to catch Ellen’s eye. I did not know what might come after such a
-speech. She might break forth with some<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_312" id="page_312"></a>{312}</span> sudden revelation of all that I
-felt sure must be in her heart. I closed my eyes instinctively, sick
-with terror. Next moment I heard Ellen’s clear, agreeable voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t want you to be overdone, mother. What is the use of all that is
-past and gone if I am to take holidays and run away when I like for two
-or three days? No, no; my place is here, and here I must stay. I don’t
-want you to be overdone.’</p>
-
-<p>And looking at her, I saw that she smiled. But her mother’s face was
-full of trouble. She looked from Ellen to me, and from me to Ellen. For
-everything there is a beginning. Did she only then for the first time
-perceive what had been done?</p>
-
-<p>However, after this there was nothing more to say. We did not see Ellen
-again till the days were short and the brilliant weather over. She
-changed very much during that winter. Her youth, which had bloomed on so
-long unaltered, seemed to leave her in a day. When we came back, from
-looking twenty she suddenly looked thirty-five. The bloom went from her
-cheeks. She was as trim as ever, and as lightfooted, going out alert and
-bright every morning to her lessons; but her pretty little figure had
-shrunk, and her very step on the pavement sounded different. Life and
-all its hopes and anticipations seemed to have ebbed away from her. I
-don’t doubt that many of her neighbours had been going on in their dull
-routine of life without knowing even such hopes or prospects as hers,
-all this time by Ellen’s side, fulfilling their round of duty without
-any diversions. Oh, the mystery of these myriads of humble lives, which
-are never enlivened even by a romance manqué, a story that might have
-been; that steal away from dull youth to dull age, never knowing
-anything but the day’s work, never coming to anything! But Ellen had
-known a something different, a life that was her own; and now she had
-lost it. The effect was great: how could it be otherwise? She lost
-herself altogether for a little while, and when she came to again, as
-all worthy souls must come, she was another Ellen; older than her age as
-the other had been younger, and prepared for everything. No longer
-trying to evade suffering; rather desirous, if that might be, to
-forestall it, to discount it&mdash;if I may use the word&mdash;before it was due,
-and know the worst. She never told me this in words, but I felt that it
-was so. It is not only in a shipwreck that the unfortunate on the verge
-of death plunge in to get it over a few hours, a few minutes, sooner. In
-life there are many shipwrecks which we would forestall, if we could, in
-the same way, by a plunge&mdash;by a voluntary putting on of the decisive
-moment. Some, I suppose, will always put it off by every expedient that
-despair can suggest; but there are also those who can bear anything but
-to wait, until slowly, surely, the catastrophe comes. Ellen wanted to
-make the plunge, to get it over, partly for John’s sake, whose
-infidelity she began to calculate upon&mdash;to (she believed) wish for. ‘He
-will never be able to live without a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_313" id="page_313"></a>{313}</span> home to go to, without a woman to
-speak to, now,’ she said once, in a moment of incaution&mdash;for she was
-very guarded, very reticent, about all this part of her mind, and rarely
-betrayed herself. It is curious how little faith women in general, even
-the most tender, have in a man’s constancy. Either it is because of an
-inherent want of trust in their own power to secure affection, which
-might be called humility; or else it is quite the reverse&mdash;a pride of
-sex too subtle to show, in any conscious way&mdash;overweening confidence in
-the power over a man of any other woman who happens to be near him, and
-want of confidence in any power on his part to resist these
-fascinations. Ellen had made up her mind that her lover when he was
-absent from her would be, as she would have said, ‘like all the rest.’
-Perhaps, in a kind of wild generosity, she wished it, feeling that she
-herself never might be free to make him happy; but, anyhow, she was
-persuaded that this was how it would be. She looked out for signs of it
-in his very first letter. She wanted to have it over&mdash;to cut off
-remorselessly out of her altered being all the agitations of hope.</p>
-
-<p>But I need not say that John’s letters were everything a lover’s, or
-rather a husband’s letters should be. They were more like a husband’s
-letters, with very few protestations in them, but a gentle continued
-reference to her, and to their past life together, which was more
-touching than any rhapsodies. She brought them to me often, folding
-down, with a blush which made her look like the blooming Ellen of old,
-some corner of especial tenderness, something that was too sacred for a
-stranger’s eye, but always putting them back in her pocket with a word
-which sounded almost like a grudge, as who should say, ‘For this once
-all is well, but next time you shall see.’ Thus she held on to her
-happiness as by a strained thread, expecting every moment when it would
-snap, and defying it to do so, yet throbbing all the time with a passion
-of anxiety, as day after day it held out, proving her foreboding vain.
-That winter, though I constantly saw her, my mind was taken up by other
-things than Ellen. It was then that the children finally prevailed upon
-me to leave the Road. A row of cheap advertising shops had sprung up
-facing us where had been the great garden I have so often mentioned, and
-the noise and flaring lights were more than I could put up with, after
-all my resistance to their wishes. So that at last, to my great regret,
-but the exultation of the young ones, it was decided that we must go
-away.</p>
-
-<p>The removal, and the bustle there was, the change of furniture&mdash;for our
-old things would not do for the new house, and Chatty, Heaven save us!
-had grown artistic, and even the little ones and Fräulein Stimme knew a
-great deal better than I did&mdash;occupied my mind and my time; and it took
-a still longer time to settle down than it did to tear up our old roots.
-So that there was a long interval during which we saw little of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_314" id="page_314"></a>{314}</span> Ellen;
-and though we never forgot her, or ceased to take an interest in
-everything that concerned her, the distance of itself threw us apart.
-Now and then she paid us a visit, always with John’s letter in her
-pocket, but her time was so limited that she never could stay long. And
-sometimes I, and sometimes Chatty, made a pilgrimage to the old district
-to see her. But we never could have an uninterrupted long talk in
-Pleasant Place. Either Ellen was called away, or Mrs. Harwood would come
-in and sit down with her work, always anxiously watching her daughter.
-This separation from the only people to whom she could talk of her own
-private and intimate concerns was a further narrowing and limitation of
-poor Ellen’s life. But what could I do? I could not vex my children for
-her sake. She told us that she went and looked at the old house almost
-every day, and at the square window in which I used to sit and see John
-pass. John passed no longer, nor was I there to see. But Ellen remained
-bound in the same spot, seeing everything desert her&mdash;love, and
-friendship, and sympathy, and all her youth and her hope. Can you not
-fancy with what thoughts this poor girl (though she was a girl no
-longer) would pause, as she passed, to look at the abandoned place so
-woven in with the brightest episode of her life, feeling herself
-stranded there, impotent, unable to make a step&mdash;her breast still
-heaving with all the vigour of existence, yet her life bound down in the
-narrowest contracted circle? Her mother, who had got to watch her
-narrowly, told me afterwards that she always knew when Ellen had passed
-No. 16; and indeed I myself was rather glad to hear that at length No.
-16 had shared the general fate, that my window existed no longer, and
-that a great shop with plate-glass windows was bulging out where our
-house had been. Better when a place is desecrated that it should be
-desecrated wholly, and leave no vestige of its old self at all.</p>
-
-<p>Thus more than a year glided away, spring and winter, summer and autumn,
-and then winter again. Chatty came in one November morning, when London
-was half invisible, wrapped in mist and fog, with a very grave face, to
-tell me that she had met Ellen, and Ellen had told her there was bad
-news from John. ‘I can’t understand her,’ Chatty said. ‘I couldn’t make
-out what it was; that business had been bad, and things had gone wrong;
-and then something with a sort of laugh that he had got other thoughts
-in his mind at last, as she knew all along he would, and that she was
-glad. What could she mean?’ I did not know what she could mean, but I
-resolved to go and see Ellen to ascertain what the change was. It is
-easier however to say than to do when one is full of one’s own affairs,
-and so it happened that for a full week, though intending to go every
-day, I never did so. It was partly my fault. The family affairs were
-many, and the family interests engrossing. It was not that I cared for
-Ellen less, but my own claimed me on every hand. When one afternoon,
-about a fortnight<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_315" id="page_315"></a>{315}</span> after, I was told that Miss Harwood was in the
-drawing-room and wished to speak to me, my heart upbraided me with my
-neglect. I hurried to her and led her away from that public place where
-everybody came and went, to my own little sitting-room, where we might
-be alone. Ellen was very pale; her eyes looked very dry and bright, not
-dewy and soft as they used to be. There was a feverish look of unrest
-and excitement about her. ‘There is something wrong,’ I cried. ‘What is
-it? Chatty told me&mdash;something about John.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t know that it is anything wrong,’ she said. The smile that had
-frightened Chatty came over her face&mdash;a smile that made one unhappy, the
-lip drawn tightly over the teeth in the most ghastly mockery of
-amusement. ‘No; I don’t know that it is anything wrong. You know I
-always expected&mdash;always from the moment he went away&mdash;that between him
-and me things would soon be at an end. Oh, yes, I expected it, and I did
-not wish it otherwise; for what good is it to me that a man should be
-engaged to me, and waste his life for me, when I never could do anything
-for him?’</p>
-
-<p>Here she made a little breathless pause, and laughed. ‘Oh, don’t, Ellen,
-don’t!’ I cried. I could not bear the laugh; the smile was bad enough.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why not?’ she said with a little defiance; ‘would you have me cry? I
-expected it long ago. The wonder is that it should have been so long
-coming. That is,’ she cried suddenly after a pause, ‘that is if this is
-really what it means. I took it for granted at first; but I cannot be
-certain. I cannot be certain! Read it, you who know him, and tell me,
-tell me! Oh, I can bear it quite well. I should be rather glad if this
-is what it means.’</p>
-
-<p>She thrust a letter into my hand, and going away with a rapid step to
-the window, stood there with her back to me, looking out. I saw her
-standing against the light, playing restlessly with the tassel of the
-blind. In her desire to seem composed, or else in the mere excitement
-which boiled in her veins, she began to hum a tune. I don’t think she
-knew herself what it was.</p>
-
-<p>The letter which she professed to have taken so easily was worn with
-much reading, and it had been carried about, folded and refolded a
-hundred times. There was no sign of indifference in all that&mdash;and this
-is what it said:&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>‘I got your last letter, dear Ellen, on Tuesday. I think you must
-have written in low spirits. Perhaps you had a feeling, such as we
-used to talk about, of what was happening here. As for me, nobody
-could be in lower spirits than this leaves me. I have lost heart
-altogether. Everything has gone wrong; the business is at an end: I
-shut up the office to-day. If it is in any way my fault, God
-forgive me! But the conflict in my heart has been so great that I
-sometimes fear it must be my fault. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_316" id="page_316"></a>{316}</span> had been low enough before,
-thinking and thinking how the end was to come between you and me.
-Everything has gone wrong inside and out. I had such confidence,
-and now it is all going. What I had most faith in has deceived me.
-I thought I never was the man to change or to fail, and that I
-could have trusted myself in any circumstances; but it does not
-seem so. And why should I keep you hanging on when all’s wrong with
-me? I always thought I could redeem it; but it hasn’t proved so.
-You must just give me up, Ellen, as a bad job. Sometimes I have
-thought you wished it. Where I am to drift to, I can’t tell; but
-there’s no prospect of drifting back, or, what I hoped for, sailing
-back in prosperity to you. You have seen it coming, I can see by
-your letters, and I think, perhaps, though it seems strange to say
-so, that you won’t mind. I shall not stay here; but I have not made
-up my mind where to go. Forget a poor fellow that was never worthy
-to be yours.&mdash;<span class="smcap">John Ridgway.</span>’</p></div>
-
-<p>My hands dropped with the letter in them. The rustle it made was the
-only sign she could have had that I had read it, or else instinct or
-inward vision. That instant she turned upon me from the window with a
-cry of wild suspense: ‘Well?’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am confounded. I don’t know what to think. Ellen, it looks more like
-guilt to the office than falsehood to you.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Guilt&mdash;to the office!’ Her face blazed up at once in scorching colour.
-She looked at me in fierce resentment and excitement, stamping her foot.
-‘Guilt&mdash;to the office! How dare you? How dare you?’ she cried like a
-fury. She clenched her hands at me, and looked as if she could have torn
-me in pieces. ‘Whatever he has done,’ she cried, ‘he has done nothing he
-had not a right to do. Do you know who you are speaking of? John! You
-might as well tell me I had broken into your house at night and robbed
-you. <i>He</i> have anything to blame himself for with the office?&mdash;never!
-nor with any one. What he has done is what he had a right to do&mdash;I am
-the first to say so. He has been wearied out. You said it once yourself,
-long, long before my eyes were opened; and at last he has done it&mdash;and
-he had a good right!’ She stood for one moment before me in the fervour
-of this fiery address; then, suddenly, she sank and dropped on her knees
-by my side. ‘You think it means that? You see it&mdash;don’t you see it? He
-has grown weary, as was so natural. He thought he could trust himself;
-but it proved different; and then he thought he could redeem it. What
-can that mean but one thing?&mdash;he has got some one else to care for him.
-There is nothing wrong in that. It is not I that will ever blame him.
-The only thing was that a horrible doubt came over me this morning&mdash;if
-it should not mean what I thought it did! That is folly, I know; but
-you, who know him&mdash;put away all that about wrong to the office, which is
-out<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_317" id="page_317"></a>{317}</span> of the question, and you will see it cannot be anything but one
-thing.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is not that,’ I said.</p>
-
-<p>She clasped her hands, kneeling by my side. ‘You always took his part,’
-she said in a low voice. ‘You will not see it.’ Why did she tremble so?
-Did she want to believe it, or not to believe it? I could not understand
-Ellen. Just then, from the room below, there came a voice singing. It
-was Chatty’s voice, the child whom she had taught, who had been the
-witness of their wooing. She knew nothing about all this; she did not
-even know that Ellen was in the house. What so natural as that she
-should sing the song her mistress had taught her? It was that which
-Ellen herself had been humming as she stood at the window.</p>
-
-<p>‘Listen!’ I said. ‘You are answered in his own words&mdash;“I will come
-again.”<span class="lftspc">’</span></p>
-
-<p>This was more than Ellen could bear. She made one effort to rise to her
-feet, to regain her composure; but the music was too much. At that
-moment I myself felt it to be too much. She fell down at my feet in a
-passion of sobs and tears.</p>
-
-<p>Afterwards I knew the meaning of Ellen’s passionate determination to
-admit no meaning but one to the letter. She had taken him at his word.
-In her certainty that this was to happen, she had seen no other
-interpretation to it, until it was too late. She had never sent any
-reply; and he had not written again. It was now a month since the letter
-had been received, and this sudden breaking off of the correspondence
-had been so far final on both sides. To satisfy myself, I sent to
-inquire at the office, and found that no blame was attached to John; but
-that he had been much depressed, unduly depressed, by his failure to
-remedy the faults of his predecessor, and had left as soon as his
-accounts were forwarded and all the business details carefully wound up:
-and had not been heard of more. I compelled, I may say, Ellen to write,
-now that it was too late; but her letter was returned to her some time
-after. He had left the place, and nothing was known of him there; nor
-could we discover where he had gone.</p>
-
-<h3>CHAPTER VIII</h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">This</span> little tragedy, as it appeared to me at the time, made a great
-impression on my mind. It did not make me ill; that would have been
-absurd. But still it helped, I suppose, to depress me generally and
-enhance the effect of the cold that had hung about me so long, and for
-which the elder ones, taking counsel together, decided that the desire
-of the younger ones should be gratified, and I should be made to go to
-Italy for the spring. The girls were wild to go, and my long-continued<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_318" id="page_318"></a>{318}</span>
-lingering cold was such a good excuse. For my own part, I was not
-willing at all; but what can one woman, especially when she is their
-mother, do against so many? I had to give in and go. I went to see Ellen
-before we started, and it was a very painful visit. She was still
-keeping up with a certain defiance of everybody. But in the last two
-months she had changed wonderfully. For one thing, she had shrank into
-half her size. She was never anything but a little woman; but now she
-seemed to me no bigger than a child. And those cheerful, happy brown
-eyes, which had so triumphed over and smiled at all the privations of
-life, looked out from two hollow caverns, twice as large as they had
-ever been before, and with a woeful look that broke one’s heart. It was
-not always that they had this woeful look. When she was conscious of
-inspection she played them about with an artificial activity as if they
-had been lanterns, forcing a smile into them which sometimes looked
-almost like a sneer; but when she forgot that any one was looking at
-her, then both smile and light went out, and there was in them a woeful
-doubt and question which nothing could solve. Had she been wrong? Had
-she misjudged him whom her heart could not forget or relinquish? Was it
-likely that she could give him up lightly even had he been proved
-unworthy? And oh, Heaven! was he proved unworthy, or had she done him
-wrong? This was what Ellen was asking herself, without intermission, for
-ever and ever; and her mother, on her side, watched Ellen piteously with
-much the same question in her eyes. Had she, too, made a mistake? Was it
-possible that she had exacted a sacrifice which she had no right to
-exact, and in mere cowardice, and fear of loneliness, and desire for
-love and succour on her own part, spoiled two lives? This question,
-which was almost identical in both, made the mother and daughter
-singularly like each other; except that Ellen kept asking her question
-of the air, which is so full of human sighs, and the sky, whither so
-many ungranted wishes go up, and the darkness of space, in which is no
-reply&mdash;and the mother asked hers of Ellen, interrogating her countenance
-mutely all day long, and of every friend of Ellen’s who could throw any
-light upon the question. She stole into the room when Ellen left me for
-a moment, and whispered, coming close to me, lest the very walls should
-hear&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘How do you think she is looking? She will not say a word to me about
-him&mdash;not a word. Don’t you think she has been too hasty? Oh! I would
-give everything I have if she would only go with you and look for John,
-and make it up with him again.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I thought you could not spare her,’ I said with perhaps some cruelty in
-my intention. She wrung her hands, and looked piteously in my face.</p>
-
-<p>‘You think it is all my fault! I never thought it would come to this; I
-never thought he would go away. Oh, if I had only<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_319" id="page_319"></a>{319}</span> let them marry at
-first! I often think if she had been happy in her own home, coming to
-see her father every day, it would have been more of a change for him,
-more company than having her always. Oh! if one could only tell what is
-going to happen. She might have had a nice family by this time, and the
-eldest little girl big enough to run in and play at his feet and amuse
-her grandpa. He always was fond of children. But we’ll never see Ellen’s
-children now!’ cried the poor woman. ‘And you think it is my fault!’</p>
-
-<p>I could not reproach her; her black cap with the flowers, her little
-woollen shawl about her shoulders, grew tragic as she poured forth her
-trouble. It was not so dignified as the poet’s picture, but yet, like
-him, she</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i0">Saw the unborn faces shine<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">Beside the never lighted fire;<br /></span>
-</div></div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">and with a groan of misery felt herself the slayer of those innocents
-that had never been. The tragic and the comic mingled in the vision of
-that ‘eldest little girl,’ the child who would have amused her grandpa
-had she been permitted to come into being; but it was all tragic to poor
-Mrs. Harwood. She saw no laugh, no smile, in the situation anywhere.</p>
-
-<p>We went to Mentone, and stayed there till the bitterness of the winter
-was over, then moved along that delightful coast, and were in Genoa in
-April. To speak of that stately city as a commercial town seems
-insulting&mdash;and yet so it is now-a-days. I recognized at once the type I
-had known in other days when I sat at the window of the hotel and
-watched the people coming and going. It reminded me of my window in the
-Road, where, looking out, I saw the respectable City people&mdash;clerks like
-John Ridgway, and merchants of the same cut though of more substantial
-comfort&mdash;wending their way to their business in the morning, and to
-their suburban homes in the evening. I do not know that I love the
-commercial world; but I like to see that natural order of life&mdash;the man
-‘going forth unto his work and to his labour until the evening.’ The
-fashion of it is different in a foreign town, but still the life is the
-same. We changed our quarters however after we had been for some time in
-that city, so-called of palaces, and were lodged in a suite of rooms
-very hard to get up to (though the staircase was marble), but very
-delightful when one was there; rooms which overlooked the high terrace
-which runs round a portion of the bay between the inns and the quays. I
-forget what it is called. It is a beautiful promenade, commanding the
-loveliest view of that most beautiful bay and all that is going on in
-it. At night, with all its twinkling semicircle of lights, it was a
-continual enchantment to me; but this or any of my private admirations
-are not much to the purpose of my story. Sitting at the window, always
-my favourite post, I became acquainted with various individual figures
-among those who haunted this terrace. Old<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_320" id="page_320"></a>{320}</span> gentlemen going out to sun
-themselves in the morning before the heat was too great; children and
-nursemaids, Genoese women with their pretty veils, invalids who had got
-up the stairs, I cannot tell now, and sat panting on the benches,
-enjoying the sea air and the sunshine. There was one however among this
-panorama of passing figures, which gave me a startled sense of
-familiarity. It was too far off to see the man’s face. He was not an
-invalid; but he was bent, either with past sickness or with present
-care, and walked with a dropping head and a languid step. After watching
-him for a time, I concluded (having always a great weakness for making
-out other people’s lives, how they flow) that he had some occupation in
-the town from which he escaped, whenever he had leisure, to rest a
-little and refresh himself upon the terrace. He came very regularly,
-just at the time when Italian shops and offices have a way of shutting
-up, in the middle of the day&mdash;very regularly, always, or almost always,
-at the same hour. He came up the steps slowly and languidly, stopped a
-little to take breath, and then walked half way round the terrace to a
-certain bench upon which he always seated himself. Sometimes he brought
-his luncheon with him and ate it there. At other times, having once
-gained that place, he sat quite still in a corner of it, not reading,
-nor taking any notice of the other passers-by. No one was with him, no
-one ever spoke to him. When I noticed him first he startled me. Who was
-he like? His bent figure, his languid step, resembled no one I could
-think of; but yet I said to myself, He is like somebody. I established a
-little friendship with him, though it was a friendship without any
-return; for though I could see him he could not see me, nor could I
-distinguish his face; and we never saw him anywhere else, neither at
-church, nor in the streets, not even on the <i>festas</i> when everybody was
-about; but always just there on that one spot. I looked for him as
-regularly as the day came. ‘My mother’s old gentleman,’ Chatty called
-him. Everybody is old who is not young to these children; but though he
-was not young he did not seem to me to be old. And he puzzled as much as
-he interested me. Who was he like? I never even asked myself, Who was
-he? It would be no one I had any chance of acquaintance with. Some poor
-<i>employé</i> in a Genoa office; how should I know him? I could not feel at
-all sure, when I was cross-examined on the subject, whether I really
-remembered any one whom he was like; but yet he had startled me more
-than I can say.</p>
-
-<p>Genoa, where we had friends and family reasons for staying, became very
-hot as the spring advanced into early summer, and we removed to one of
-the lovely little towns on the coast at a little distance, Santa
-Margherita. When we had been settled there for a few days, Chatty came
-in to me one evening with a pale face. ‘I have just seen your old
-gentleman,’ she said. ‘I think he must live out here; but I saw by the
-expression of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_321" id="page_321"></a>{321}</span> her eyes that there was more to say. She added after a
-moment, ‘And I know who he is like.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah! you have seen his face,’ I said; and then, before she had spoken,
-it suddenly flashed on myself in a moment, ‘John Ridgway!’ I cried.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mother,’ said Chatty, quite pale, ‘I think it is his ghost.’</p>
-
-<p>I went out with her instantly to where she had seen him, and we made
-some inquiries, but with no success. When I began to think it over, he
-was not like John Ridgway. He was bent and stooping, whereas John was
-erect; his head drooped, whereas how well I recollected poor John’s head
-thrown back a little, his hat upon the back of it, his visionary outlook
-rather to the skies than to the ground. No, no, not like him a bit; but
-yet it might be his ghost, as Chatty said. We made a great many
-inquiries, but for the moment with no success, and you may suppose that
-I watched the passers-by from my window with more devotion than ever.
-One evening in the sudden nightfall of the Italian skies, when darkness
-comes all at once, I was seated in my usual place, scarcely seeing
-however the moving figures outside, though all the population of the
-place seemed to be out, sitting round the doors, and strolling leisurely
-along enjoying the heavenly coolness and the breeze from the sea. At the
-further end of the room Chatty was at the piano, playing to me softly in
-the dark which she knows is what I like, and now and then striking into
-some old song such as I love. She was sure to arrive sooner or later at
-that one with which we now had so many associations; but I was not
-thinking of the song, nor for the moment of Ellen or her faithful (as I
-was sure he was still) lover at all. A woman with so many children has
-always plenty to think of. My mind was busy with my own affairs. The
-windows were open, and the babble of the voices outside&mdash;high pitched,
-resounding Italian voices, not like the murmur of English&mdash;came in to us
-as the music floated out. All at once, I suddenly woke up from my
-thinking and my family concerns. In the dusk one figure detached itself
-from among the others with a start, and came forward slowly with bent
-head and languid step. Had he never heard that song since he heard Ellen
-break off, choked with tears unshed, and a despair which had never been
-revealed? He came quite close under the window where I could see him no
-longer. I could not see him at all; it was too dark. I divined him. Who
-could it be but he? Not like John Ridgway, and yet John; his ghost, as
-Chatty had said.</p>
-
-<p>I did not stop to think what I was to do, but rose up in the dark room
-where the child was singing, only a voice, herself invisible in the
-gloom. I don’t know whether Chatty saw me go; but, if so, she was
-inspired unawares by the occasion, and went on with her song. I ran
-down-stairs and went out softly to the open door of the inn, where there
-were other people standing about. Then I saw him quite plainly by the
-light<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_322" id="page_322"></a>{322}</span> from a lower window. His head was slightly raised towards the
-place from which the song came. He was very pale in that pale, doubtful
-light, worn and old and sad; but as he looked up, a strange illumination
-was on his face. His hand beat the air softly, keeping time. As she came
-to the refrain his lips began to move as if he were repeating after his
-old habit those words, ‘I will come again.’ Then a sudden cloud of pain
-seemed to come over his face&mdash;he shook his head faintly, then bowed it
-upon his breast.</p>
-
-<p>In a moment I had him by the arm. ‘John,’ I said in my excitement; ‘John
-Ridgway! we have found you.’ For the moment, I believe, he thought it
-was Ellen who had touched him; his white face seemed to leap into light;
-then paled again. He took off his hat with his old formal, somewhat shy
-politeness&mdash;‘I thought it must be you, madame,’ he said. He said
-‘madame’ instead of the old English madam, which he had always used:
-this little concession to the changed scene was all the difference. He
-made no mystery about himself, and showed no reluctance to come in with
-me, to talk as of old. He told me he had a situation in an office in
-Genoa, and that his health was bad. ‘After that <i>fiasco</i> in the Levant,
-I had not much heart for anything. I took the first thing that was
-offered,’ he said, with his old vague smile; ‘for a man must live&mdash;till
-he dies.’ ‘There must be no question of dying&mdash;at your age,’ I cried.
-This time his smile almost came the length of a momentary laugh. He
-shook his head, but he did not continue the subject He was very silent
-for some time after. Indeed, he said nothing, except in reply to my
-questions, till Chatty left, the room and we were alone. Then all at
-once, in the middle of something I was saying&mdash;‘Is she&mdash;married again?’
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Married&mdash;again!’</p>
-
-<p>‘It is a foolish question. She was not married to me; but it felt much
-the same: we had been as one for so long. There must have been
-some&mdash;strong inducement&mdash;to make her cast me off so at the end.’</p>
-
-<p>This he said in a musing tone, as if the fact were so certain, and had
-been turned over in his mind so often that all excitement was gone from
-it. But after it was said, a gleam of anxiety came into his half-veiled
-eyes. He raised his heavy, tired eyelids and looked at me. Though he
-seemed to know all about it, and to be resigned to it when he began to
-speak, yet it seemed to flash across him, before he ended, that there
-was an uncertainty&mdash;an answer to come from me which would settle it,
-after all. Then he leaned forward a little, in this sudden sense of
-suspense, and put his hand to his ear as if he had been deaf, and said
-‘What?’ in an altered tone.</p>
-
-<p>‘There is some terrible mistake,’ I said. ‘I have felt there was a
-mistake all along. She has lost her hold on life altogether because she
-believes you to be changed.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Changed!’ His voice was quite sharp and keen, and had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_323" id="page_323"></a>{323}</span> lost its languid
-tone. ‘In what way&mdash;in what way? how could I be changed?’</p>
-
-<p>‘In the only way that could matter between her and you. She thought,
-before you left the Levant, that you had got to care for some one
-else&mdash;that you had ceased to care for her. Your letter,’ I said, ‘your
-letter!’&mdash;half frightened by the way in which he rose, and his
-threatening, angry aspect&mdash;‘would bear that interpretation.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My letter!’ He stood before me for a moment with a sort of feverish,
-fierce energy; then he began to laugh, low and bitterly, and walk about
-as if unable to keep still. ‘My letter!’ The room was scarcely
-lighted&mdash;one lamp upon the table, and no more; and the half-darkness, as
-he paced about, made his appearance more threatening still. Then he
-suddenly came and stood before me as if it had been I that had wronged
-him. ‘I am a likely man to be a gay Lothario,’ he cried, with that laugh
-of mingled mockery and despair which was far more tragical than weeping.
-It was the only expression that such an extreme of feeling could find.
-He might have cried out to heaven and earth, and groaned and wept; but
-it would not have expressed to me the wild confusion, the overturn of
-everything, the despair of being so misunderstood, the miserable sum of
-suffering endured and life wasted for nothing, like this laugh. Then he
-dropped again into the chair opposite me, as if with the consciousness
-that even this excitement was vain.</p>
-
-<p>‘What can I say? What can I do? Has she never known me all
-along?&mdash;Ellen!’ He had not named her till now. Was it a renewal of life
-in his heart that made him capable of uttering her name?</p>
-
-<p>‘Do not blame her,’ I cried. ‘She had made up her mind that nothing
-could ever come of it, and that you ought to be set free. She thought of
-nothing else but this; that for her all change was hopeless&mdash;that she
-was bound for life; and that you should be free. It became a fixed idea
-with her; and when your letter came, which was capable of being
-misread&mdash;&mdash;’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then the wish was father to the thought,’ he said, still bitterly. ‘Did
-she show it to you? did you misread it also? Poor cheat of a letter! My
-heart had failed me altogether. Between my failure and her slavery&mdash;&mdash;
-But I never thought she would take me at my word,’ he went on piteously,
-‘never! I wrote, don’t you know, as one writes longing to be comforted,
-to be told it did not matter so long as we loved each other, to be
-bidden come home. And there never came a word&mdash;not a word.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She wrote afterwards, but you were gone; and her letter was returned to
-her.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ he said, in a sort of desolate assent. ‘Ah! was it so? then that
-was how it had to be, I suppose; things were so settled before ever we
-met each other. Can you understand that?&mdash;all settled that it was to end
-just so in misery, and confusion, and folly, before ever we met.’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_324" id="page_324"></a>{324}</span></p>
-
-<p>‘I do not believe it,’ I cried. ‘There is no need that it should end so,
-even now; if&mdash;if you are unchanged still.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I&mdash;changed?’ He laughed at this once more, but not so tragically, with
-sham ridicule of the foolishness of the doubt. And then all of a sudden
-he began to sing&mdash;oh, it was not a beautiful performance! he had no
-voice, and not much ear; but never has the loveliest of music moved me
-more&mdash;‘I will come again, my sweet and bonnie: I will come&mdash;&mdash;’ Here he
-broke down as Ellen had done, and said, with a hysterical sob, ‘I’m ill;
-I think I’m dying. How am I, a broken man, without a penny, to come
-again?’</p>
-
-<p>Chatty and I walked with him to his room through the soft darkness of
-the Italian night. I found he had fever&mdash;the wasting, exhausting ague
-fever&mdash;which haunts the most beautiful coasts in the world. I did my
-best to reassure him, telling him that it was not deadly, and that at
-home he would soon be well; but I cannot say that I felt so cheerfully
-as I spoke, and all that John did was to shake his head. As we turned
-home again through all the groups of cheerful people, Chatty with her
-arm clasped in mine, we talked, it is needless to say, of nothing else.
-But not even to my child did I say what I meant to do. I am not rich,
-but still I can afford myself a luxury now and then. When the children
-were in bed I wrote a short letter, and put a cheque in it for twenty
-pounds. This was what I said. I was too much excited to write just in
-the ordinary way:&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>‘Ellen, I have found John, ill, heart-broken, but as faithful and
-unchanged as I always knew he was. If you have the heart of a mouse in
-you come out instantly&mdash;don’t lose a day&mdash;and save him. It may be time
-yet. If he can be got home to English air and to happiness it will still
-be time.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have written to your mother. She will not oppose you, or I am much
-mistaken. Take my word for all the details. I will expect you by the
-earliest possibility. Don’t write, but come.’</p>
-
-<p>In less than a week after I went to Genoa, and met in the steamboat from
-Marseilles, which was the quickest way of travelling then, a trembling,
-large-eyed, worn-out creature, not knowing if she were dead or alive,
-confused with the strangeness of everything, and the wonderful change in
-her own life. It was one of John’s bad days, and nobody who was not
-acquainted with the disease would have believed him other than dying. He
-was lying in a kind of half-conscious state when I took Ellen into his
-room. She stood behind me clinging to me, undistinguishable in the
-darkened place. The flush of the fever was going off; the paleness as of
-death and utter exhaustion stealing over him. His feeble fingers were
-moving faintly upon the white covering of his bed; his eyelids half
-shut, with the veins showing blue in them and under his eyes. But there
-was a faint smile on his face. Wherever he was wandering in those
-confused fever dreams, he was not unhappy. Ellen held by my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_325" id="page_325"></a>{325}</span> arm to keep
-herself from falling. ‘Hope! you said there was hope,’ she moaned in my
-ear, with a reproach that was heart-rending. Then he began to murmur
-with his almost colourless yet smiling lips, ‘I will come again, my
-sweet and bonnie; I will come&mdash;again.’ And then the fingers faintly
-beating time were still.</p>
-
-<p>But no, no! Do not take up a mistaken idea. He was not dead; and he did
-not die. We got him home after a while. In Switzerland, on our way to
-England, I had them married safe and fast under my own eye. I would
-allow no more shilly-shally. And, indeed, it appeared that Mrs. Harwood,
-frightened by all the results of her totally unconscious domestic
-despotism, was eager in hurrying Ellen off, and anxious that John should
-come home. He never quite regained his former health, but he got
-sufficiently well to take another situation, his former employers
-anxiously aiding him to recover his lost ground. And they took
-Montpellier Villa after all, to be near Pleasant Place, where Ellen goes
-every day, and is, Mrs. Harwood allows, far better company for her
-father, and a greater relief to the tedium of his life, than when she
-was more constantly his nurse and attendant. I am obliged to say however
-that the mother has had a price to pay for the emancipation of the
-daughter. There is nothing to be got for nought in this life. And
-sometimes Ellen has a compunction, and sometimes there is an unspoken
-reproach in the poor old lady’s tired eyes. I hope for my own part that
-when that ‘eldest little girl’ is a little older Mrs. Harwood’s life
-will be greatly sweetened and brightened. But yet it is she that has to
-pay the price; for no argument, not even the last severe winter, and
-many renewed ‘attacks,’ will persuade that old tyrant, invisible in his
-upper chamber, to die.</p>
-
-<p>A song needs no story perhaps; but a story is always the better for a
-song: so that after all I need not perhaps apologize to Beethoven and
-his interpreters as I meant to do for taking their lovely music as a
-suggestion of the still greater harmonies of life.</p>
-
-<p class="c"><small>
-THE END<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_326" id="page_326"></a>{326}</span><br />
-<br />
-<span class="smcap">Richard Clay and Sons, Limited</span>,<br />
-
-LONDON AND BUNGAY.</small></p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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