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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8561a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #53938 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/53938) diff --git a/old/53938-8.txt b/old/53938-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 0927835..0000000 --- a/old/53938-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,795 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Nothing to Do, by Horatio Alger Jr. - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Nothing to Do - A Tilt at Our Best Society - -Author: Horatio Alger Jr. - -Release Date: January 10, 2017 [EBook #53938] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTHING TO DO *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Whitehead, David Edwards and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - NOTHING TO DO. - - - - - [Illustration] - - - - - NOTHING TO DO: - - A TILT AT OUR BEST SOCIETY. - - _To do nothing_ is to be a great part of your title. - SHAKSPEARE. - - - - ILLUSTRATED. - - - - BOSTON: - PUBLISHED BY JAMES FRENCH & CO. - 1857. - - - - - Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by - JAMES FRENCH & CO., - In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of - Massachusetts. - - - - STEREOTYPED BY - HOBART & ROBBINS, - New England Type and Stereotype Foundery, - BOSTON. - - - - - To - - WILLIAM A. BUTLER, ESQ., - AUTHOR OF - "NOTHING TO WEAR," - This Poem - IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED. - - - - - Nothing to Do. - - - Augustus Fitz-Herbert, as all are aware, - Having crossed the Atlantic, and got a moustache on, - Likewise being son of a known millionaire, - Stands of course on the very top round of the fashion. - Being taught to consider himself, from his birth, - As one of the privileged ones of the earth, - He cherishes deep and befitting disdain - For those who don't live in the Fifth Avenue, - As entirely unworthy the notice or thought - Of the heir of two millions and nothing to do. - He calls them canaille, which I'm credibly told - Is the only French word which he caught when away; - And though, in my case, if I might be so bold, - I should say it scarce paid one for half a year's stay, - The heir of two millions and nothing to do, - Who lives in a palace in Fifth Avenue, - As a matter of course, is no fitting comparison - For the heir of an inkstand and something to do, - Who lodges up stairs, in the house of Miss Harrison. - - In this model republic, this land of the free-- - So our orators call it, and why should not we?-- - 'Tis refreshing to know that without pedigree - A man may still climb to the top of the tree; - That questions of family, rank, and high birth, - All bow to the query, How much is he worth? - That John Smith, plebeian, who forty years since - Walked Broadway barefooted, now rides as a prince; - Having managed, though not overburdened with wit, - But rather by chance and a fortunate hit, - To take a high place on Society's rounds; - His claims being based on pence, shillings, and pounds. - I admit there's a certain republican merit - In making the fortune which others inherit; - But why should John Smith so completely ignore - The bridge which has brought him triumphantly o'er, - And turn with disgust from the opposite shore? - And why, when Miranda, whose heart is not proof - Against Cupid's sharp arrows, some day leaves his roof, - And, sundering her family-ties at a jerk, - Returns in the evening--the wife of his clerk! - Thus at Love's trumpet-call bidding Duty defiance, - Should he strive to break up the clandestine alliance? - For, though men have made money, and will do again, - There was never a case known where money made men; - And if Jones be a man in what constitutes manhood, - He's a far better match than young Frederic Stanwood, - Though the one be a clerk, and the other the heir - Of the house next M'Flimsey's, on Madison-square. - If the one is deficient in wealth, we may find - The other quite bankrupt in morals and mind. - - Excuse this digression, which yet is germain - To the subject in hand, as will be very plain - When I say that Fitz-Herbert's respected progenitor - Did business years since, as I'm told, in a den eight or - Ten feet each way, where he daily had calls - From all sorts of people with all sorts of things, - From coats and umbrellas to bracelets and rings, - To be left, until claimed, at the Three Golden Balls. - But now, long emerged from his chrysalis state, - Should his former acquaintances call at his gate, - They would doubtless receive speedy notice to leave-- - Not the articles brought, but the dwelling instanter, - With their pace perhaps changed to a very quick canter. - - So changes the world, and the men that are in it, - That those whom we hail as our equals, one minute, - We pass by the next with a very cold stare, - And gruffly inquire who the d--ickens they are. - From the past to the present--to close our review-- - From the pawnbroker's shop to the Fifth Avenue, - To the parlors so full of _objets de vertu_, - And furniture most undeniably new, - Where on tapestry carpets the foot softly falls, - And family portraits look down from the walls, - Of martial old grandsires and stately old dames; - Which, bought cheap at auction, and set in new frames, - And dubbed with high-sounding and fanciful names, - At peace after many of Fortune's mutations, - Look impressively down on their new-found relations. - There's Sir Arthur Fitz-Herbert, an old English knight, - Who won his gold spurs in a hardly-fought field, - Where he rescued the life of the gallant Black Prince - By receiving a blow meant for him--on his shield; - Of which glorious action, so well worth attention, - Not a single historian makes any mention; - Though by family documents amply attested, - In possession of those who are most interested. - Then there's Lady Fitz-Herbert--a Queen's maid of honor, - Who spent her chief time in attendance upon her; - And when the Queen left on a visit to Calais, - Remained in sole charge of--the plate and the palace. - All which, the Fitz-Herberts may justly lay claim, - Invests with proud honor the family name. - - There is something that puzzles me, let me confess-- - Why these rare old antiques wear so modern a dress! - Unless, like the comet which now reappears, - For the first time, I think, within hundreds of years, - So fashions in dress run through regular courses, - And strictly obey the mechanical forces. - Let me hereby suggest that some almanac-maker, - In his very next issue but one, undertake a - Brief record of Fashions that may reäppear - In the course of the next or the following year. - With what eager eyes would our wives read, be sure, - About--this--time--expect--a--new--style--of--coiffure, - A black lace Fichu under dark satin loops; - Or, more ominous still, a recurrence of hoops! - Attended, perhaps, by the brief intimation, - Based upon strict and exact calculation, - That the first would enjoy but a limited reign, as - It was looked for next year in far-distant Uranus; - While the last had intended to visit us sooner, - But tarried a while with the ladies of Luna. - - Apropos of the portraits--I've heard of a queer - Contretemps which befell the most famous last year; - I mean of Sir Arthur, who saved the Black Prince,-- - Excuse my not knowing how many years since. - It seems a young lady--Miss Blanche Delarue-- - One day on a visit to Fifth Avenue, - While carelessly chatting and sipping some sherbet, - Was shown the fine portrait of Arthur Fitz-Herbert, - Which, Augustus assured her, as an heirloom - Was more valued than anything else in the room, - And proceeded to speak of the well-deserved fame - Of Sir Arthur Fitz-Herbert, the first of his name, - With a few of those actions of gallant emprise, - Which have made him so great in Posterity's eyes; - Or, at least, that small part which, like Miss Delarue, - Are on visiting terms in the Fifth Avenue. - In the midst of his story conceive his amaze, - When his visitor, after a long, earnest gaze - At the portrait before her, approaching, let fall - On the tapestry carpet plate, sherbet, and all, - Which, scattered with fragments of fine porcelain, - Must have suffered, I fear, an indelible stain. - While standing aghast at a breach of propriety - Which rarely occurs in the best of society, - He was startled still more, as I cannot but own, - When the lady exclaimed, in a deeply-moved tone, - In reply to his feebly-expressed "Never mind it," - "That's my grandfather's portrait! O, where did you find it?" - Which indeed was the case, being sold at vendue, - Some years since, when the father of Blanche Delarue - Had lost for the time both his wealth and high station, - By indulging too largely in land speculation. - The unlucky portrait, I scarcely need say, - Was at once taken down, but soon after replaced - By another as stately, though somewhat defaced,-- - A clear mark of age, and which, by the way, - On Fitz-Herbert's assurance I'm glad to be able - To say was a knight of the Famous Round Table. - - If my memory fails not, 'tis three months to-day - Since Augustus Fitz-Herbert appeared in Broadway, - Having passed the last year in a tour beyond seas, - Where his travels extended from Russia to Spain, - And towards the North-West from the famed Hebrides - To the beautiful isles in the fair Grecian main. - He has wandered through climes of which even the names - Thrill the heart with emotion, or summon a tear, - When we think how completely has time swept away - The traces of all that we fain would revere. - He has stood, it may be, on the very same spot - Where Homer recited his deathless heroics, - Or paused at the portico, knowing it not, - Where Zeno addressed his disciples, the Stoics. - Perchance when he gazed from the brow of the hill - On the once famous harbor--the Attic Piræus,-- - Proud trophy of valor reverse could not chill!-- - His foot pressed the turf on the breast of Musæus. - He has seen the proud city whose arts and whose arms - In the mouth of tradition for ages have rung; - O, there is not a foot of that soil but has charms, - Where Tully once fulmined, where Virgil once sung. - In the streets of Byzantium he's smoked a chibouk - With the bearded and turbaned devout Mameluke; - Has seen the Cathedral--the glory of Munich-- - And deciphered inscriptions, _perhaps_, from the Runic; - Floated dreamily down the thrice beautiful Rhine, - Through lands that are teeming with olives and wine; - Passed a night in the capital city of Berne, - And crossed in a steamer the Lake of Lucerne; - Has strolled through the fortified town of Brussels, - And heard in old Bruges the sweet Minster bells; - Has stopped in the siege-renowned city of Prague, - And supped with Mynheer in his town of the Hague; - At length reaching France, in a steamboat crossed over - The troublesome straits linking Calais with Dover; - Which gained, up to London he travelled post-haste, - With the prominent thought, there was no time to waste. - With the help of post-horses and frequent relays, - He "did" the whole island in eight or ten days, - During which he no doubt made a thorough survey - Of all objects of interest passed on the way. - He next made a very brief visit to Cork - (The city and people he couldn't endure), - And returning took passage at once to New York, - With the comforting thought--he had made the grand tour. - - From his journal I venture below to record - A single impression received while abroad: - "June 7th, we reached Athens--a sizable place, - Some three or four miles from the Gulf of Ægina; - It contains a cathedral not equal to Grace - Church in New York, which I think is much finer. - Went up to the top of the famous Acropolis, - Which is visited daily by hundreds of people, - But can't say I think that the view from the top o' this - Is equal to that from our Trinity steeple. - The houses are mostly unsightly and small; - In Minerva and Hermes' street noticed a few - Which will do very well, but are nothing at all - Compared with our mansion in Fifth-Avenue. - The piles of old ruins one sees here and there - I consider a perfect disgrace to the town; - If they had an efficient and competent Mayor, - Like our Mayor Wood, he would soon have them down." - - Returned from his tour, he may daily be seen - Promenading Broadway with a calm air of su- - Periority, such as is rightfully worn - By the heir of two millions and nothing to do. - Observe how he shrinks, with a languid disdain, - From a shabby book-keeper with coat worse for wear; - It would scarce be befitting for fine porcelain - To come in close contact with common delf-ware. - He inclines, as I think, in regard to the masses, - In a modified form to the views of Agassiz: - As that Adam the first had another for weedin', - And other such jobs, in the garden of Eden; - While Eve has a housemaid--the wife of the latter, - Of color uncertain--perhaps a mulatto, - Who lives in the kitchen, cooks, washes, and starches, - While Eve in the parlor plays waltzes and marches; - And that those who perforce bear the burdens of life - Date their origin back to this man and his wife, - While from Adam the first are descended the few - Who are blest with long purses and nothing to do. - An exceedingly simple and practical way - Of explaining the present distinction of classes, - Conclusively showing that much finer clay - Is required for the rich than the general masses. - - Augustus last week at the Potiphars' party - Met Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square, - Who having found out from her friend Miss Astarte - That he--a great catch--it was thought would be there, - Although in a state of extreme destitution - In regard to apparel befitting to wear - With her usual promptness and firm resolution - Represented the case to her hard-hearted père; - Who firmly resisted her touching entreaties. - Until she was forced, in her utter despair, - To remind him she never could hope to be married, - Unless he provided her something to wear. - A state of the case so extremely appalling, - And fraught with such numberless bills of expense - To be run up hereafter, that, trouble forestalling, - He yielded at once, without further defence. - At the same time he said she was perfectly free - To place herself under a husband's protection; - And, hard as the sacrifice doubtless must be, - Provided she made a befitting parti, - That he, as her father, would make no objection. - - Her purpose achieved, on the very same day - Miss Flora went out on a tour of inspection - To all of the principal shops in Broadway, - Where at length she succeeded in making election - Of a gossamer fabric of delicate texture, - Whose merit consisted in being so rare, - That one, though attired in it twice or thrice folded, - Might almost be said to have nothing to wear. - At the party which followed (I speak with due diffidence), - Of all that were present not one could compare, - In point of dry goods and surpassing magnificence, - With Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square. - She came, saw, and conquered. Her eyes' brilliant lustre-- - Or that of her diamonds--effected the coup - Which brought to her feet--not the great Filibuster, - But the heir of two millions and nothing to do. - The marriage, I hear, is deferred for the present-- - The bride requires three months at least to prepare. - On the first of November, should weather prove pleasant, - There will be a grand wedding at Madison-square. - The alliance I hold to be every way proper, - Since Flora M'Flimsey, in wedding the heir - Of two millions in prospect (not bating a copper), - May hope to have something, in future, to wear. - While Augustus Fitz-Herbert, Sir Arthur's descendant, - In paying her bills for dry goods and bijoux, - With all the etceteras thereto attendant, - Will find quite as much as he wishes to do. - O, ye who in life are content to be drones, - And stand idly by while your fellows bear stones - To rear the great temple which Adam began, - Whereof the All-Father has given each man - A part in the building--pray look the world through, - And say, if you can, you have nothing to do! - Were man sent here solely to eat, drink, and sleep, - And sow only that which himself hoped to reap,-- - If, provided his toil served to gain his subsistence, - He had answered in full the whole end of existence,-- - Where then would be poets, philanthropists, sages, - Who have written their names high on History's pages? - They stood not aloof from the battle of Life, - But, placing themselves in the van of the strife, - Marching manfully forward with banner unfurled, - Left their deeds and their names a bequest to the world. - Have you ever (forgive me the bold impropriety) - Reckoned up your outstanding account with society, - Or considered how far, should your life close to-morrow, - You would merit her real and genuine sorrow? - If, in dying, the world be no wiser or better - For your having lived there, then you are her debtor; - And if, as Faith, Reason, and Scripture, all show, - God rewards us in heaven for the good done below, - I pray you take heed, idle worldling, lest you - With that better world should have nothing to do! - - - - -TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: - -Obvious printer errors have been corrected. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Nothing to Do - A Tilt at Our Best Society - -Author: Horatio Alger Jr. - -Release Date: January 10, 2017 [EBook #53938] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTHING TO DO *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Whitehead, David Edwards and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 500px;"> -<img style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em;" src="images/cover-image.jpg" id="coverpage" width="500" height="830" alt="Nothing to do" /> -<div class="transnote covernote"> -<p class="center" style="margin-top: 1em; margin-bottom: 1em;">The cover image was restored by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p> -</div></div> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - - - - -<h1 style="margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 3em;">NOTHING TO DO.</h1> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> -<img src="images/image1.jpg" width="450" height="587" alt="Frontispiece of gentleman in a chair" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 450px;"> -<img src="images/image2.jpg" width="450" height="630" alt="Title page of Nothing to do" /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - - -<p class="center" style="margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 3em;">Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1857, by<br /> -JAMES FRENCH & CO.,<br /> -In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of<br /> -Massachusetts.</p> - - - - -<p class="center" style="margin-bottom: 3em;">STEREOTYPED BY<br /> -HOBART & ROBBINS,<br /> -New England Type and Stereotype Foundery,<br /> -BOSTON.</p> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - - - - -<p class="center" style="margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 3em;">To<br /> -<br /> -<span class="smcap">WILLIAM A. BUTLER, Esq.</span>,<br /> -AUTHOR OF<br /> -"NOTHING TO WEAR,"<br /> -This Poem<br /> -IS RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED.</p> - -<hr class="chap" style="page-break-after: always;" /> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2 style="margin-top: 3em; margin-bottom: 2em;">Nothing to Do.</h2> - -<hr class="r5" /> - -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0"><span class="smcap">Augustus Fitz-Herbert</span>, as all are aware,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Having crossed the Atlantic, and got a moustache on,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Likewise being son of a known millionaire,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Stands of course on the very top round of the fashion.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Being taught to consider himself, from his birth,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">As one of the privileged ones of the earth,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He cherishes deep and befitting disdain<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> -<span class="i2">For those who don't live in the Fifth Avenue,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">As entirely unworthy the notice or thought<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Of the heir of two millions and nothing to do.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He calls them canaille, which I'm credibly told<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Is the only French word which he caught when away;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And though, in my case, if I might be so bold,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">I should say it scarce paid one for half a year's stay,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The heir of two millions and nothing to do,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Who lives in a palace in Fifth Avenue,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">As a matter of course, is no fitting comparison<br /></span> -<span class="i0">For the heir of an inkstand and something to do,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Who lodges up stairs, in the house of Miss Harrison.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">In this model republic, this land of the free—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">So our orators call it, and why should not we?—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">'Tis refreshing to know that without pedigree<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> -<span class="i0">A man may still climb to the top of the tree;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">That questions of family, rank, and high birth,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">All bow to the query, How much is he worth?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">That John Smith, plebeian, who forty years since<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Walked Broadway barefooted, now rides as a prince;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Having managed, though not overburdened with wit,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But rather by chance and a fortunate hit,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To take a high place on Society's rounds;<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> -<span class="i0">His claims being based on pence, shillings, and pounds.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">I admit there's a certain republican merit<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In making the fortune which others inherit;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But why should John Smith so completely ignore<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The bridge which has brought him triumphantly o'er,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And turn with disgust from the opposite shore?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And why, when Miranda, whose heart is not proof<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Against Cupid's sharp arrows, some day leaves his roof,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a></span> -<span class="i0">And, sundering her family-ties at a jerk,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Returns in the evening—the wife of his clerk!<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Thus at Love's trumpet-call bidding Duty defiance,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Should he strive to break up the clandestine alliance?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">For, though men have made money, and will do again,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">There was never a case known where money made men;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And if Jones be a man in what constitutes manhood,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He's a far better match than young Frederic Stanwood,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Though the one be a clerk, and the other the heir<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of the house next M'Flimsey's, on Madison-square.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">If the one is deficient in wealth, we may find<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The other quite bankrupt in morals and mind.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">Excuse this digression, which yet is germain<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To the subject in hand, as will be very plain<br /></span> -<span class="i0">When I say that Fitz-Herbert's respected progenitor<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Did business years since, as I'm told, in a den eight or<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Ten feet each way, where he daily had calls<br /></span> -<span class="i2">From all sorts of people with all sorts of things,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">From coats and umbrellas to bracelets and rings,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To be left, until claimed, at the Three Golden Balls.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But now, long emerged from his chrysalis state,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Should his former acquaintances call at his gate,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span> -<span class="i0">They would doubtless receive speedy notice to leave—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Not the articles brought, but the dwelling instanter,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With their pace perhaps changed to a very quick canter.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">So changes the world, and the men that are in it,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">That those whom we hail as our equals, one minute,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">We pass by the next with a very cold stare,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And gruffly inquire who the d—ickens they are.<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> -<span class="i0">From the past to the present—to close our review—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">From the pawnbroker's shop to the Fifth Avenue,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To the parlors so full of <i>objets de vertu</i>,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And furniture most undeniably new,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Where on tapestry carpets the foot softly falls,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And family portraits look down from the walls,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of martial old grandsires and stately old dames;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which, bought cheap at auction, and set in new frames,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span> -<span class="i0">And dubbed with high-sounding and fanciful names,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">At peace after many of Fortune's mutations,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Look impressively down on their new-found relations.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">There's Sir Arthur Fitz-Herbert, an old English knight,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Who won his gold spurs in a hardly-fought field,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Where he rescued the life of the gallant Black Prince<br /></span> -<span class="i2">By receiving a blow meant for him—on his shield;<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Of which glorious action, so well worth attention,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Not a single historian makes any mention;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Though by family documents amply attested,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In possession of those who are most interested.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Then there's Lady Fitz-Herbert—a Queen's maid of honor,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who spent her chief time in attendance upon her;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And when the Queen left on a visit to Calais,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Remained in sole charge of—the plate and the palace.<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> -<span class="i0">All which, the Fitz-Herberts may justly lay claim,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Invests with proud honor the family name.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">There is something that puzzles me, let me confess—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Why these rare old antiques wear so modern a dress!<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Unless, like the comet which now reappears,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">For the first time, I think, within hundreds of years,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">So fashions in dress run through regular courses,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And strictly obey the mechanical forces.<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Let me hereby suggest that some almanac-maker,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In his very next issue but one, undertake a<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Brief record of Fashions that may reäppear<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In the course of the next or the following year.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With what eager eyes would our wives read, be sure,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">About—this—time—expect—a—new—style—of—coiffure,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">A black lace Fichu under dark satin loops;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Or, more ominous still, a recurrence of hoops!<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Attended, perhaps, by the brief intimation,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Based upon strict and exact calculation,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span> -<span class="i0">That the first would enjoy but a limited reign, as<br /></span> -<span class="i0">It was looked for next year in far-distant Uranus;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While the last had intended to visit us sooner,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But tarried a while with the ladies of Luna.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">Apropos of the portraits—I've heard of a queer<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Contretemps which befell the most famous last year;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">I mean of Sir Arthur, who saved the Black Prince,—<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Excuse my not knowing how many years since.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">It seems a young lady—Miss Blanche Delarue—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">One day on a visit to Fifth Avenue,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While carelessly chatting and sipping some sherbet,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Was shown the fine portrait of Arthur Fitz-Herbert,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which, Augustus assured her, as an heirloom<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Was more valued than anything else in the room,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And proceeded to speak of the well-deserved fame<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Of Sir Arthur Fitz-Herbert, the first of his name,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With a few of those actions of gallant emprise,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which have made him so great in Posterity's eyes;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Or, at least, that small part which, like Miss Delarue,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Are on visiting terms in the Fifth Avenue.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In the midst of his story conceive his amaze,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">When his visitor, after a long, earnest gaze<br /></span> -<span class="i0">At the portrait before her, approaching, let fall<br /></span> -<span class="i0">On the tapestry carpet plate, sherbet, and all,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Which, scattered with fragments of fine porcelain,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Must have suffered, I fear, an indelible stain.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While standing aghast at a breach of propriety<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which rarely occurs in the best of society,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He was startled still more, as I cannot but own,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">When the lady exclaimed, in a deeply-moved tone,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In reply to his feebly-expressed "Never mind it,"<br /></span> -<span class="i0">"That's my grandfather's portrait! O, where did you find it?"<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Which indeed was the case, being sold at vendue,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Some years since, when the father of Blanche Delarue<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Had lost for the time both his wealth and high station,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">By indulging too largely in land speculation.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The unlucky portrait, I scarcely need say,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Was at once taken down, but soon after replaced<br /></span> -<span class="i0">By another as stately, though somewhat defaced,—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">A clear mark of age, and which, by the way,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span> -<span class="i0">On Fitz-Herbert's assurance I'm glad to be able<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To say was a knight of the Famous Round Table.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">If my memory fails not, 'tis three months to-day<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Since Augustus Fitz-Herbert appeared in Broadway,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Having passed the last year in a tour beyond seas,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Where his travels extended from Russia to Spain,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span> -<span class="i0">And towards the North-West from the famed Hebrides<br /></span> -<span class="i2">To the beautiful isles in the fair Grecian main.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He has wandered through climes of which even the names<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Thrill the heart with emotion, or summon a tear,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">When we think how completely has time swept away<br /></span> -<span class="i2">The traces of all that we fain would revere.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He has stood, it may be, on the very same spot<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span> -<span class="i2">Where Homer recited his deathless heroics,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Or paused at the portico, knowing it not,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Where Zeno addressed his disciples, the Stoics.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Perchance when he gazed from the brow of the hill<br /></span> -<span class="i2">On the once famous harbor—the Attic Piræus,—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Proud trophy of valor reverse could not chill!—<br /></span> -<span class="i2">His foot pressed the turf on the breast of Musæus.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He has seen the proud city whose arts and whose arms<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> -<span class="i2">In the mouth of tradition for ages have rung;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">O, there is not a foot of that soil but has charms,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Where Tully once fulmined, where Virgil once sung.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In the streets of Byzantium he's smoked a chibouk<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With the bearded and turbaned devout Mameluke;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Has seen the Cathedral—the glory of Munich—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And deciphered inscriptions, <i>perhaps</i>, from the Runic;<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Floated dreamily down the thrice beautiful Rhine,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Through lands that are teeming with olives and wine;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Passed a night in the capital city of Berne,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And crossed in a steamer the Lake of Lucerne;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Has strolled through the fortified town of Brussels,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And heard in old Bruges the sweet Minster bells;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Has stopped in the siege-renowned city of Prague,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And supped with Mynheer in his town of the Hague;<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> -<span class="i0">At length reaching France, in a steamboat crossed over<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The troublesome straits linking Calais with Dover;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which gained, up to London he travelled post-haste,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With the prominent thought, there was no time to waste.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With the help of post-horses and frequent relays,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He "did" the whole island in eight or ten days,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">During which he no doubt made a thorough survey<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Of all objects of interest passed on the way.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He next made a very brief visit to Cork<br /></span> -<span class="i2">(The city and people he couldn't endure),<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And returning took passage at once to New York,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">With the comforting thought—he had made the grand tour.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">From his journal I venture below to record<br /></span> -<span class="i0">A single impression received while abroad:<br /></span> -<span class="i0">"June 7th, we reached Athens—a sizable place,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span> -<span class="i2">Some three or four miles from the Gulf of Ægina;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">It contains a cathedral not equal to Grace<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Church in New York, which I think is much finer.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Went up to the top of the famous Acropolis,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Which is visited daily by hundreds of people,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But can't say I think that the view from the top o' this<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Is equal to that from our Trinity steeple.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The houses are mostly unsightly and small;<br /></span> -<span class="i2">In Minerva and Hermes' street noticed a few<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Which will do very well, but are nothing at all<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Compared with our mansion in Fifth-Avenue.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The piles of old ruins one sees here and there<br /></span> -<span class="i2">I consider a perfect disgrace to the town;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">If they had an efficient and competent Mayor,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Like our Mayor Wood, he would soon have them down."<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span></p> - -<span class="i0">Returned from his tour, he may daily be seen<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Promenading Broadway with a calm air of su-<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Periority, such as is rightfully worn<br /></span> -<span class="i2">By the heir of two millions and nothing to do.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Observe how he shrinks, with a languid disdain,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">From a shabby book-keeper with coat worse for wear;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">It would scarce be befitting for fine porcelain<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span> -<span class="i2">To come in close contact with common delf-ware.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He inclines, as I think, in regard to the masses,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In a modified form to the views of Agassiz:<br /></span> -<span class="i0">As that Adam the first had another for weedin',<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And other such jobs, in the garden of Eden;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While Eve has a housemaid—the wife of the latter,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of color uncertain—perhaps a mulatto,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who lives in the kitchen, cooks, washes, and starches,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> -<span class="i0">While Eve in the parlor plays waltzes and marches;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And that those who perforce bear the burdens of life<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Date their origin back to this man and his wife,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While from Adam the first are descended the few<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who are blest with long purses and nothing to do.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">An exceedingly simple and practical way<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Of explaining the present distinction of classes,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Conclusively showing that much finer clay<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Is required for the rich than the general masses.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">Augustus last week at the Potiphars' party<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Met Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who having found out from her friend Miss Astarte<br /></span> -<span class="i2">That he—a great catch—it was thought would be there,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Although in a state of extreme destitution<br /></span> -<span class="i2">In regard to apparel befitting to wear<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With her usual promptness and firm resolution<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> -<span class="i2">Represented the case to her hard-hearted père;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who firmly resisted her touching entreaties.<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Until she was forced, in her utter despair,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To remind him she never could hope to be married,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Unless he provided her something to wear.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">A state of the case so extremely appalling,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">And fraught with such numberless bills of expense<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To be run up hereafter, that, trouble forestalling,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He yielded at once, without further defence.<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> -<span class="i0">At the same time he said she was perfectly free<br /></span> -<span class="i2">To place herself under a husband's protection;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And, hard as the sacrifice doubtless must be,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Provided she made a befitting parti,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">That he, as her father, would make no objection.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">Her purpose achieved, on the very same day<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Miss Flora went out on a tour of inspection<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To all of the principal shops in Broadway,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> -<span class="i2">Where at length she succeeded in making election<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of a gossamer fabric of delicate texture,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Whose merit consisted in being so rare,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">That one, though attired in it twice or thrice folded,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Might almost be said to have nothing to wear.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">At the party which followed (I speak with due diffidence),<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Of all that were present not one could compare,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">In point of dry goods and surpassing magnificence,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> -<span class="i2">With Flora M'Flimsey, of Madison-square.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">She came, saw, and conquered. Her eyes' brilliant lustre—<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Or that of her diamonds—effected the coup<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Which brought to her feet—not the great Filibuster,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">But the heir of two millions and nothing to do.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The marriage, I hear, is deferred for the present—<br /></span> -<span class="i2">The bride requires three months at least to prepare.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">On the first of November, should weather prove pleasant,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> -<span class="i2">There will be a grand wedding at Madison-square.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">The alliance I hold to be every way proper,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Since Flora M'Flimsey, in wedding the heir<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Of two millions in prospect (not bating a copper),<br /></span> -<span class="i2">May hope to have something, in future, to wear.<br /></span> -<span class="i0">While Augustus Fitz-Herbert, Sir Arthur's descendant,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">In paying her bills for dry goods and bijoux,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With all the etceteras thereto attendant,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Will find quite as much as he wishes to do.<br /></span> -</div></div> -<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span></p> - -<span class="i0">O, ye who in life are content to be drones,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And stand idly by while your fellows bear stones<br /></span> -<span class="i0">To rear the great temple which Adam began,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Whereof the All-Father has given each man<br /></span> -<span class="i0">A part in the building—pray look the world through,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And say, if you can, you have nothing to do!<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Were man sent here solely to eat, drink, and sleep,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And sow only that which himself hoped to reap,—<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> -<span class="i0">If, provided his toil served to gain his subsistence,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">He had answered in full the whole end of existence,—<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Where then would be poets, philanthropists, sages,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Who have written their names high on History's pages?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">They stood not aloof from the battle of Life,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But, placing themselves in the van of the strife,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Marching manfully forward with banner unfurled,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Left their deeds and their names a bequest to the world.<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> -<span class="i0">Have you ever (forgive me the bold impropriety)<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Reckoned up your outstanding account with society,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">Or considered how far, should your life close to-morrow,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">You would merit her real and genuine sorrow?<br /></span> -<span class="i0">If, in dying, the world be no wiser or better<br /></span> -<span class="i0">For your having lived there, then you are her debtor;<br /></span> -<span class="i0">And if, as Faith, Reason, and Scripture, all show,<br /></span><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span> -<span class="i0">God rewards us in heaven for the good done below,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">I pray you take heed, idle worldling, lest you<br /></span> -<span class="i0">With that better world should have nothing to do!<br /></span> -</div></div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="transnote"> - -<p class="ph2" style="margin-top: 3em;">TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE:</p> - -<p>Obvious printer errors have been corrected. Otherwise, the -author's original spelling, punctuation and hyphenation have -been left intact.</p> -</div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Nothing to Do, by Horatio Alger Jr. - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOTHING TO DO *** - -***** This file should be named 53938-h.htm or 53938-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/9/3/53938/ - -Produced by Chris Whitehead, David Edwards and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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