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diff --git a/old/53896-0.txt b/old/53896-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3099feb..0000000 --- a/old/53896-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1431 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's Christmas Speakin' at Skagg's Schule, by Marie Irish - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Christmas Speakin' at Skagg's Schule - -Author: Marie Irish - -Release Date: January 5, 2017 [EBook #53896] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN'--SKAGG'S SCHULE *** - - - - -Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - -[Transcriber's Note: Bold text is surrounded by =equal signs= and -italic text is surrounded by _underscores_.] - - - - Price, 25 Cents - - Christmas Speakin’ - at - Skaggs’s Skule - - - ——————————— - MARIE IRISH - ——————————— - - - PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY - DAYTON, OHIO - - - - -MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENTS - - -These songs can be used in all manner of entertainments. The music is -easy and both music and words are especially catchy. Children like -them. Everybody likes them. Sheet music. Price, 35 cents each. - -=HERE’S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES.= (Bugbee-Worrell.) A -patriotic song which every child should know and love. The sentiment -is elevating. The music is martial and inspiring. May be effectively -sung by the entire school. Suitable for any occasion and may be sung by -children or grown-ups. Be the first to use this song in your community. - -=I’LL NEVER PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN.= (Guptill-Weaver.) A quarrel between a -small boy and girl. The words are defiant and pert. The boy and his dog -have been in mischief, and the small maiden poutingly declares that she -will never play with him again, but changes her mind in the last verse. -A taking little duet for any occasion, with full directions for motions. - -=JOLLY FARMER LADS AND LASSIES.= (Irish-Lyman.) A decidedly humorous -action song prepared especially for district schools. It will make a -hit wherever produced. - -=JOLLY PICKANINNIES.= (Worrell.) Introduce this coon song into your -next entertainment. If you use the directions for the motions which -accompany the music, the pickaninnies will bring down the house. Their -black faces and shining eyes will guarantee a “hit.” The words are -great and the music just right. - -=LULLABY LANE.= (Worrell.) This song is one which the children, once -having learned, will never forget. The words have the charm of the -verses written by Robert Louis Stevenson. The music is equally sweet -and is perfectly suited to the beautiful words. It may be sung as a -solo by a little girl with a chorus of other little girls with dolls, -or as a closing song by the whole school. - -=MY OWN AMERICA, I LOVE BUT THEE.= (Worrell.) Here is a song that will -arouse patriotism in the heart of every one who hears it. The music is -so catchy that the children and grown-ups, too, just can’t resist it. -It makes a capital marching song. - -=NOW, AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU CAME?= (Guptill-Weaver.) This is a closing -song which is quite out of the ordinary. There is humor in every line. -The music is lively. Your audience will not soon forget this spicy song -for it will get many an unexpected laugh. The motions which accompany -this song make it doubly effective. For any occasion and for any number -of children. - -=WE ARE CREEPY LITTLE SCARECROWS.= (Guptill-Weaver.) A weird, -fascinating action song. You can’t go wrong with this song. There are -four verses and chorus. Complete directions accompany this song so that -it may be featured as a song and drill, if desired. For any occasion -and for any number of children. - -=WE’VE JUST ARRIVED FROM BASHFUL TOWN.= (Worrell.) This song will bring -memories to the listeners of their own bashful school days. They will -recall just how “scared” they were when asked to sing or play or speak. -The words are unusually clever. The music is decidedly melodious. It -makes a capital welcome song or it may be sung at any time on any -program with assured success. - -=WE HOPE YOU’VE BROUGHT YOUR SMILES ALONG.= (Worrell.) A welcome song -that will at once put the audience in a joyous frame of mind and create -a happy impression that will mean half the success of your entire -program. Words, bright and inspiring. Music, catchy. A sure hit for -your entertainment. - -=WE’LL NOW HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.= (Worrell.) This beautiful song has -snap and go that will appeal alike to visitors and singers. It is just -the song to send your audience home with happy memories of the occasion. - - - Paine Publishing Company Dayton, Ohio - - - - - Christmas Speakin’ - at Skaggs’s Skule - - _By_ - - MARIE IRISH - - PAINE PUBLISHING COMPANY - DAYTON, OHIO - - - - -CHARACTERS - - - MISS EMMELINE ELKINS—Teacher. - - JOSIAH JUDD—Clerk of Skule Board. - - MRS. SKAGGS } Visitors. - MRS. HILL } - - BILLY SKAGGS—Very Bashful. - - OLE SWANSON—A Swede. - - FLORILDY } The Twins. - MATILDY } - - RASTUS—A Negro Boy. - - SAM SHAW—Who Stutters. - - VIRGIL VANE—Very Studious. - - TINY TILLY—Small for Age. - - CORABELL—Her Fat Sister. - - SARAH JANE—Who’s Not Scared. - -TIME OF PLAYING—THIRTY MINUTES - -_Scene, An Old-time District School room_ - - Copyright, 1921, by Paine Publishing Company - - - - -COSTUMES - - -MISS ELKINS, Old-maid costume, much fussed up with bright colors; -spectacles, hair in corkscrew curls each side of face. - -JOSIAH JUDD, Chin whiskers, colored shirt, bright tie, suit that is too -large, boots, large red bandanna handkerchief. - -MRS. SKAGGS and MRS. HILL, Hair done up old style, old-fashioned wool -dresses, small old-time bonnets that tie under chin, shawls. - -BILLY SKAGGS, good-sized boy with clothes too small, waist with large -ruffled collar, bright bow tie, short trousers, bright stockings. - -OLE SWANSON, colored shirt, overalls, colored handkerchief tied around -neck. - -MATILDY and FLORILDY, Old-fashioned wool dresses, much too long, hair -flowing, ribbon tied around head with bow at the top. - -RASTUS, Bright calico waist, trousers that do not fit, patched with -bright color, face blackened. - -VIRGIL VANE, hair parted in middle, spectacles, coat much too small, -long trousers, stand-up collar. - -SAM SHAW, Short trousers, a coat much too large and long. - -TILLY, A small slender girl with rather long, tight-fitting dress, hair -hanging in two braids. - -CORABELL, Good-sized girl, well padded to be fat, very short skirt, -hair with big bow at each side of face. - -SARAH JANE, Rather small size, dressed much too old for age, hair -crimped, old-style gown. - -Stage arrangement—Pupils sit on benches along back of stage; small -table for teacher at one side with books, bell and long ruler. Stand -with water pail and dipper, dinner pails hanging on wall, also -children’s wraps; some decorations of evergreen and Merry Christmas -pinned on wall in letters of various sizes and colors. Visitors sit in -chairs at sides of room. - - - - -Christmas Speakin’ at Skaggs’s Skule - - -TEACHER (_tapping bell loudly_)—Now, children dear, I hope you -will all be very, very good and very, very quiet while we have our -entertainment. What kind of an entertainment is it to be, children? (_a -pause_) W’y, children, don’t you know what kind of an entertainment it -is going to be? - -VIRGIL—Wal, I think it’ll be a fust-rate good ’un if none of ’em don’t -fergit their pieces. - -SAM—W-w-w-w-w-wal, I w-w-w-w-w-won’t f-f-f-f-fergit mine if I -d-d-d-d-don’t git b-b-b-b-b-bashful. - -SARAH JANE—Huh, you bet you I won’t git skeered—I haint fraid o’ -nothin’. I wouldn’t be skeered to speak if they was a grizzly bear here. - -TILLY—Oh, teacher, she would, too, wouldn’t she, teacher? - -SARAH JANE—I wouldn’t neither, so there! - -TEACHER (_tapping bell_)—Children, be still. That is not a nice way to -act on entertainment day. I meant what kind of an entertainment are we -going to have according to the season (_a pause_). W’y, can’t you tell, -children? - -CORABELL—Teacher, what’s season? - -MATILDY—Huh, don’t you know that? W’y, it’s salt an’ pepper an’ spice -an’ stuff they put in things to season ’em. - -VIRGIL—Aw, that haint what it means—it’s spring an’ fall an’ -winter—that’s what season means, haint it, teacher? - -TEACHER (_tapping bell_)—Children, be still. I mean what kind of pieces -are we going to have in our entertainment? - -ALL (_loudly_)—Chris’mus pieces. - -TEACHER—Yes, children, that is right—Christmas pieces, children. Why -are we going to have Christmas pieces, children? (_pause_). - -RASTUS—I reckon so’s we-all’ll git a Chris’mus present ef we does our -pieces good. Mammy says as how she’s gwine gimme a mighty nice present -ef I does my part good. - -SAM—I t-t-t-t-think we’re s-s-s-s-s-sayin’ K-k-k-k-k-k-k-kris’mus -pieces k-k-k-k-k-kawase K-k-k-k-k-k-kris’mus is the time to -s-s-s-s-s-say K-k-k-k-k-k-k-kris’mus pieces. - -TEACHER—Yes, children, we’re going to have a nice Christmas -entertainment because Christmas day is coming and we all love Christmas -day, don’t we, children? - -ALL—Yes, ma’am. - -TEACHER—And so, children, I hope we shall have a nice entertainment, -an’ that you will be very, very good an’ speak up nice an’ loud an’ do -your parts the very, very best you can (_children nudge each other and -point off stage as if looking out of window_). - -FLORILDY (_waving hand_)—Teacher, somebody’s comin’ (_knock is heard_). - -TEACHER—S-s-sh! Be quiet, children (_goes over and admits Mrs. Hill_). - -_Enter Mrs. Hill_ - -MRS. HILL—Good afternoon, teacher. I heard as how you’re goin’ to have -Chris’mus speakin’ here this afternoon an’ I says to Jeremiah, I says, -I’m jes’ goin’ over to the skule house an’ hear that speakin’ ’cause as -I says to ’im, says I, I do jes’ love to hear the childrun speak their -pieces. An’ so here I be, teacher, an’ I hope I haint late. - -TEACHER—No, indeed, you’re not late, Mis’ Hill, an’ we’re very, very -glad you came. Have this chair (_she seats Mrs. Hill_). - -MRS. HILL—My, my, well I remember the time, teacher, that I’ve spoke a -piece at Chris’mus time. They did say, as I says to Jeremiah, says I, -they used to say that I was an awful good hand at speakin’. Mebbe I’ll -speak a piece here today (_smiles at children_). - -TEACHER—That will be very, very nice. You’d like to have Mis’ Hill -speak, wouldn’t you, children? - -ALL—Yes, ma’am (_they nudge and point off stage again_). - -SARAH JANE—Oh, teacher, Billy Skaggs’s mother, she’s comin’ (_a knock -is heard. Teacher goes over and admits Mrs. Skaggs_). - -_Enter Mrs. Skaggs_ - -MRS. SKAGGS—How-de-do, teacher. I hope you’re feelin’ real well. I’ve -come over to the Chris’mus speakin’, teacher. I’ve got an awful lot o’ -work to do to home, bein’ as we’re goin’ to have comp’ny on Chris’mus, -an’ I’m tryin’ to make some Chris’mus presents, an’ bake an’ clean up -an’ all, but Billy he was so set on my comin’ that I jes’ come an’ here -I be (_she shakes hands with the teacher and Mrs. Hill_). - -TEACHER—We are very, very glad you came. I should have been very, very -disappointed if no one came to visit (_she seats Mrs. Skaggs by Mrs. -Hill_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—I hope you haint had none the speakin’ yet. I’d hate -dreadful bad to miss any of it. As I was sayin’ to Hen—that’s my -husban’—I says, Hen, there aint a single thing I like to hear better’n -children speakin’ pieces. I think it’s dreadful nice, even when they -make mistakes. As I says to Hen, we can’t expect ’em to do too good. - -OLE (_pointing off stage_)—Oh, teacher, yust look who’s ban comin’! - -TEACHER (_tapping bell_)—Be quiet, children (_knock is heard. She goes -over and admits Josiah Judd_). - -_Enter Josiah Judd_ - -MR. JUDD—How-de-do, teacher, how-de-do? I came over to be present -at—that is, to attend, and injoy—that is, to participate in the -Chris’mus entertainment (_shakes hands awkwardly with teacher and the -two visitors_). As a member of the skule board I feel that I should -incourage the childern of the deestrict with my presence here an’ see -how they’re gittin’ on. Be they doin’ purty good, teacher? (_looks -children over_). - -TEACHER—We’re very, very glad you came, Mr. Judd. Yes, they’re doin’ -real well (_she seats him_). Now, children dear, we will begin to -commence our Christmas entertainment (_Billy sobs softly_). - -SARAH JANE (_waving hand_)—Teacher, teacher, Billy’s bawlin’. - -TEACHER—W’y, Billy, what is the matter? (_goes to him_). - -BILLY (_sobbing_)—I—I—I— - -MRS. SKAGGS—Lan’ sakes, teacher, what’s the matter with ’im? Billy, is -your stummick botherin’ you? - -BILLY—I—I want to set longside o’ maw. - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, Billy, you set right where you be an’ stop your -fussin’. - -BILLY (_boo-hooing out loud_)—I—want—to set—by—maw. - -MRS. SKAGGS—Wal, lan’ sakes, teacher, I spose he’ll cry himself sick ef -he can’t set by me. Can he come set here? He’s an awful hand fer his -maw, Billy is (_the children giggle_). - -TEACHER (_taking Billy by hand and leading him_)—Yes, he may sit up -here (_she fixes a chair beside his mother for Billy_). Now, children -dear, we will sing our nice welcome song (_she beats time with long -ruler, Mr. Judd beats time with his hand and keeps time with his head; -the two visitors beat time with foot. The children sing with a great -deal of spirit_). - -TUNE: JUST BEFORE THE BATTLE, MOTHER - - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - Joyfully we welcome you; - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - With a welcome glad and true; - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - Welcome to your Christmas toys; - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - With your welcome Christmas joys. - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - With a welcome loud and clear - Welcome, welcome, Merry Christmas, - Welcome, best day of the year. - -MRS. HILL—That was real fine. - -MRS. SKAGGS—They done jes’ splendid, teacher. - -MR. JUDD—Very good, very good! - -TEACHER—Now we will have an essay on Christmas by Virgil Vale. Virgil -wrote this all by himself out of his own head an’ it is very, very good -(_Virgil walks to the front with long strides, smoothes his hair, fixes -his collar, straightens his coat, blows his nose, then takes a paper -from his pocket and reads; high tone and sing-song_). - -VIRGIL—Christmas is a very nice day. It comes on the 25th day of -December. Christmas is when Santa Claus comes with presents. Christmas -is when we hang up our stockings to get presents. Christmas is when -we have Christmas trees with presents on. Christmas is when folks has -company or goes visitin’. On Christmas day folks say Merry Christmas -to each other. Christmas day don’t last long but it is a long time -gettin’ here. It is more blessed to give Christmas than to receive it. -Christmas is a merry day (_bows low and takes seat_). - -TEACHER—That was fine, Virgil. - -MR. JUDD (_nodding head_)—Very good, very good! - -MRS. HILL—I couldn’t a wrote a better one myself. - -TEACHER—Now we will have a piece by Ole Swanson. - -OLE (_much scared_)—Teacher, I aint ban feel very gude—I don’t gass -I ban speakin’ my piece today. I—I skall got awfully yumpin’ tooths -aching, teacher. - -TEACHER—Oh, now, Ole, you can speak. Your tooth doesn’t ache. - -OLE—Teacher, please, I ban gotting such a headache I aint skall ban -feelings gude, teacher. I no skall ban able to speakings, teacher. - -TEACHER—Then I shall tell your mother not to give you any Christmas -present. - -OLE—Then by yimminy, I skall ban speakings, yust the same like I aint -ban sick (_marches rapidly to front and speaks_): - - One time there ban one little boy, - Who sometimes yust ban bad an’ rude; - He makes a face to his mamma (_makes face_) - An’ aint behaves not very gude. - - He don’t ban studies very hard - To learn his lessons gude to skule; - An’ sometimes whispers with the girls, - Which skall ban ’gainst the teacher’s rule. - - This little boy he ban so bad - That when gude Mister Santy come, - All he skall puts into his stocking - Ban yust one piece of shewing gum. - (_Makes quick bow and hurries to seat._) - -RASTUS—Done served dat-dare boy jes’ right, aint it, teacher? - -TEACHER—Yes, indeed. You spoke very well, Ole. Next we shall have a -song by the twins, Matildy and Florildy. - -MATILDY—Oh, I don’t want to sing—I’m scart. - -FLORILDY—You come on, now. You know what maw told you—that she’d spank -you if you didn’t sing nice after teacher had learned us so good. - -MRS. HILL—Come on, Matildy. I know that song’s goin’ to be jes’ -splendid (_the twins go to the front and are about to sing when Matildy -begins to giggle. Florildy looks at her then she too giggles_). - -TEACHER—Girls, that is very, very wrong. Sing your song like nice -girls. (_Matildy straightens out, then as they are about to sing she -has another spell of giggling in which Florildy finally joins. They at -last sing_): - -MATILDY and FLORILDY. - -TUNE: BLUE BELLS OF SCOTLAND - -1. - - Oh we are the twins, (_Matildy alone_) and Matildy is my name, - (_Florildy alone_) And mine is Florildy, which is almost the same; - (_Both_) Matildy and Florildy, the merry twins are we, - And it’s just before Christmas - We’re good as good can be. - -(_Florildy looks very solemn and good, Matildy giggles._) - -2. - - (_Matildy alone_) When Santa Claus cometh I want a pretty ring, - (_Florildy alone_) And since we are twins I am wanting the same - thing; - (_Matildy alone_) I want a Christmas doll with fair hair and eyes - of blue, - (_Both_) And because we are twins, ’course Florildy wants one too. - -3. - - Oh, we are the twins (_Florildy pointing to Matildy_) And Matildy - is her name; - (_Maltildy, pointing to Florildy_) And hers is Florildy which is - almost the same. - (_Both_) Matildy and Florildy, the merry twins are we, - And it’s just before Christmas - We’re good as good can be (_pass to seats_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, I think they done that real fine. - -MR. JUDD—Very good, very good! - -TEACHER—The next will be a piece by Rastus. - -RASTUS—Say, teacher, I don’t wan’ ter speak no piece, I shooly don’ -wan’ ter, teacher. - -TEACHER—Oh, yes, you do, Rastus. - -RASTUS—No, hones’, re’lly, I shooly cross mah heart an’ hope ter die, I -don’ wan’ ter speak mah piece, teacher. - -TEACHER—Why not? - -RASTUS—I’s ’fraid I’ll disrecomember it, teacher an’ mammy said as how -if I disrecomembered mah piece I’d git skun alive when I gits home. I -don’ wan’ ter get skun, shuah’s youse born I don’ wan’ ter, teacher. - -TEACHER—Now, Rastus, you won’t forget. I know you won’t, so come speak -like a nice boy. - -RASTUS (_rubbing eyes_)—I—I—don’ wan’ ter—be—SKUN! - -MRS. HILL—Poor little fellow (_wipes her eyes_). - -SARAH JANE—Teacher, if she skuns ’im will he die? - -RASTUS (_loudly_)—Boo-hoo, I don’ wan’ ter DIE! - -MR. JUDD—Now, Rastus, you speak your piece and I’ll see that your -mother doesn’t touch you and I’ll give you some candy. - -RASTUS—All right (_comes forward grinning widely, bows and speaks_): - - Some boys dey wants a drum er gun, - An’ some dey t’inks a sled is fun; - But fer mah Chris’mus I’s a tellin’ - I wants a great, big watermelon. - (_Measures large size with arms._) - - A tickin’ watch would suit some boys, - An’ some dey’s fond ob books an’ toys; - But, OH, ’twould set mah heart a swellin’ - On Chris’mus ter git a watermelon. - (_Measures large size as before._) - - Candy an’ nuts dey jes’ suits some, - But as fer me—oh, yum—yum—YUM! (_smacks lips_) - Fer joy I’d shooly feel like yellin’ - Ef Santy’d brang me a watermelon. - (_Measures as before, bows low and takes seat._) - -TILLIE—Teacher, he won’t git skun, will he? - -MR. JUDD—No, indeed he won’t. That was very good, very good (_he gives -Rastus bright stick of candy_). - -RASTUS (_eating candy_)—Teacher, I jes’ as liefs to speak mah piece -ovah agin. - -TEACHER—No, once is enough. - -BILLY—Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! - -MRS. SKAGGS—Lan’ sakes, Billy, what’s the matter now? - -BILLY—Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, Billy, tell maw what’s the matter. Be your stummick a -hurtin’ you agin, Billy? - -BILLY—I want some candy like he’s got (_points to Rastus_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Wal, jes’ as soon’s we git home you can have some. - -BILLY (_kicking floor with both feet_)—Don’t wan’ ter wait. Boo-hoo, -boo-hoo! - -SAM—I s-s-s-s-s-s-say, he b-b-b-b-b-b-better have a g-g-g-g-good -l-l-l-l-l-l-lickin’. (_Mr. Judd slips over quietly and puts a stick of -candy into Billy’s hand_). - -BILLY—I won’t—(_sees candy and stares at it, laughs and puts it in his -mouth_). Oh, Maw, I got some, too (_laughs_). - -TEACHER—Now we will have— - -CORABELL (_softly_)—Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo! - -TILLY—Oh, teacher, my little sister’s cryin’! (_puts arm around -Corabell_). What’s the matter, little sister? Are you sick? - -CORABELL—No! (_louder_). Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - -TEACHER (_goes over_)—Do you want to go home? - -CORABELL—NO! (_louder_) Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - -TILLY—Please, dearie, tell sister what’s the matter. - -CORABELL—I want—some—too—boo-hoo-hoo! - -MR. JUDD—Pshaw, now! I guess I got myself in trouble (_he slips over -and puts candy in Corabell’s hand_). - -TILLY—Oh, see, little sister, what the nice man gave you (_Corabell -laughs and puts candy in mouth_). - -TEACHER—We will now have a piece by Sarah Jane (_she sits fussing in -her seat_). Come, Sarah Jane, speak your piece. - -SAM—Huh, she’s f-f-f-f-f-f-fraid to s-s-s-s-s-say it. - -SARAH JANE—I haint neither—I haint scart o’ nuthin’. I’m—I’m a fixin’ -up my stockin’ (_fusses, then goes to front and stands there, twisting -her dress and looking down at floor_). - -TEACHER—Speak up, nice, Sarah Jane. - -VIRGIL—Say, I bet she’s so skeert she can’t say nothin’. - -SARAH JANE—I haint neither. - -VIRGIL—Oh, you be, too. - -SARAH JANE—I haint scart o’ nothin’. - -TEACHER—Why don’t you speak, Sarah Jane? - -SARAH JANE—I’m thinkin’. - -TEACHER—What are you thinking about? - -SARAH JANE—How my piece starts (_twists dress, looks down at floor, -moves lips. Then speaks, loud and fast_). - - The air was cold as cold could be, - The wind was blowing dis-ma-lee, - The night was dark as a black cat - And Santy Claus’ heart went pit-y-pat. - -(_Stops, moves lips, etc., as before. Then speaks the four lines over -again and adds_): - - ’Cause ’twas so dark he feared he’d make, - Scootin’ down chimbleys a bad mistake, - An’ leave a doll with curly hair - For the big boy a livin’ there. - (_Bows low and takes seat._) - -MRS. HILL—That was real fine, Sarah Jane. - -MR. JUDD—Very good, very good! - -TEACHER—Next Sam Shaw will speak. - -SAM—T-t-t-t-t-teacher, I g-g-g-g-g-g-got a s-s-s-s-s-short piece, -k-k-k-k-k-kawse it takes me so l-l-l-l-l-long to s-s-s-s-s-say it, -k-k-k-k-k-kawse I st-st-st-st-st-stutter. - -TEACHER—Very well (_Sam pulls coat and contorts body trying to speak_): - - A l-l-l-l-l-little b-b-b-b-b-bird sat on a t-t-t-t-tree, - S-s-s-s-s-singin’ loud an’ k-k-k-k-klear, - Oh, l-l-l-l-l-let us all b-b-b-b-b-be h-h-h-h-h-happy, - K-k-k-k-k-kawse K-k-k-k-k-k-kris’mus time is here. - (_Bows and takes seat._) - -MRS. SKAGGS—I think he done that real fine. - -MR. JUDD—Very good, very good! - -TEACHER—Now, Billy will speak his piece (_Billy shakes head_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now Billy, you go speak like a good boy. - -BILLY—I—don’t wan’—to (_hangs to his mother’s skirt_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, don’t you be naughty. You go speak your piece so Santy -Claus will bring you a nice present. - -BILLY—No, no, NO! - -MRS. SKAGGS—Come now, maw will take you over (_she takes him by the -hand, pulls him to the front to speak, fixes his tie, smoothes his hair -and goes back to her seat_). Now speak, Billy. - -BILLY—No, no, NO! (_he runs back and sits by his mother_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, Billy, don’t act so—what would paw say? (_she pulls -him back to front, fixes him again and turns to go to her seat. Billy -grabs her skirt and follows her, crying_). Wal, teacher, I don’t guess -he’ll speak, he’s so bashful. He gits it from his paw an’ I spose he -can’t help it. - -TEACHER—Then Tilly will speak her piece. - -TILLY (_in high, piping voice, very dramatic gestures_). - - Upon the mountains high, (_up to right with right hand_) - Or in the valleys low, (_down at left with left hand_) - Or in the arching heavens, (_up with both hands_) - Where stars in silence glow (_same as above_). - In the North and South land (_point to the front, then back_) - East and West the breezes say, (_to right, then left_) - “Let ev’ry one be merry (_to the front with both hands_) - On Christmas Day” (_same as above_). - (_Very sweeping bow, then takes seat._) - -MRS. HILL—My, my, her motions was jes’ grand! - -MR. JUDD (_nodding_)—Very good, very good! - -TILLY—Teacher, my little sister has a piece to say. - -TEACHER—Then she may speak now. - -TILLY—Come on, Corabell, don’t be ’fraid. I’ll take you up to speak -(_she leads Corabell to the front and fixes her hair, ribbons, dress, -etc._) Now speak your piece, little sister (_Corabell should be fat and -larger than Tilly_). - -CORABELL (_lisping_)— - - I am a very little girl, - An’ has’nt much to thay, - But I’ll throw you a sweet kiss, - An’ then I’ll run away. - (_Throws a kiss then stands grinning._) - -TILLY—Come on, Corabell, run to your seat. - -CORABELL—I don’t want to (_stands grinning_). - -TILLY—Why not? - -CORABELL—I want you to come fetch me to my seat. - -TILLY—All right (_she goes and takes Corabell to seat_). - -MRS. HILL—My, my, aint she the cute little thing? - -MRS. SKAGGS—Aint she though? Billy, can’t you speak like that little -girl? - -BILLY—No, no (_clings to his mother_). - -VIRGIL—Teacher, can’t Mis’ Hill speak her piece now? - -THE OTHERS—Oh, yes, ma’am, yes, ma’am! - -MRS. HILL—My, my, me! It’s so long sence I’ve spoke I guess I’ve forgot -how. Wal, I’ll try, but don’t you laugh at me (_goes to front, makes -sweeping gesture with both hands and bows low_). - - Some folks there be, but they aint like me, - That whines an’ almost has a fit, - An’ pouts if Santy don’t bring jes’ what - They was wishin’ fer to git. - (_Pouts and stands looking very ugly._) - - But some folks there be, an’ they’re like me, - That smiles an’ says “Ho, ho, ho”, - No matter what Santy brings ’em, - They’re jolly an’ laugh jes’ like so. - -(_Hands on hips and laughs, ha-ha-ha, ho-ho-ho, then makes another low -bow and takes seat._) - -TEACHER—That was splendid, wasn’t it children? (_Virgil goes off_). - -CHILDREN (_heartily_)—Yes, ma’am. - -MR. JUDD—Very good, very good! - -TEACHER—Now, children, we are very, very glad to have our esteemed an’ -highly respected clerk of the Skule board here with us today. It was -very, very nice for him to take so much interest in you an’ come to -hear your pieces. Now we shall be very, very glad to have him make us a -speech, won’t we, children? - -CHILDREN—Yes, ma’am. - -MR. JUDD (_going to front and rubbing hands together as he talks_)—Wal, -teacher and children and visiters, I can say with great truth an’ much -joy that I be glad to been here today. Yes, childern, I allus like fer -to hear the childern speak pieces an’ I can said that I been proud of -the way you speaked an’ sung. Yes, childern, I can say with truth an’ -not a tellin’ nuthin’ that haint so, that you all done good, very good, -in your speakin’. Your nice teacher has been a learnin’ you fine an’ -as I said, you done good. Yes, childern. An’ you mus’ all been proper -behaved in skule, childern, fer nobody can’t larn good when they been a -cuttin’ up, an’ misbehavin’ an’ not a mindin’ the nice teacher’s rule. -Yes, childern. So I want fer to tell you as how you mus’ study hard an’ -behave good. Now, childern, do you know what I be? (_pause_). - -FLORILDY—I guess mebbe you’re teacher’s beau (_children giggle_). - -TEACHER (_smiling_)—W’y, w’y, w’y, Florildy, dear, how can you SAY such -a thing? - -MR. JUDD (_wiping face vigorously with bandanna_)—Yes, yes, that is, I -mean to said, I, yes, wal, (_twists bandanna nervously_) I wanted fer -to have you said I were CLERK of the SKULE BOARD, childern, yes, CLERK -of SKAGGS’S SKULE, childern, an’ I was goin’ fer to say as how if you -study hard an’ been good mebbe some day—yes, who knows, childern, mebbe -some o’ you’ll git to been clerk. Wouldn’t that be grand, childern? -Yes. So you mus’ study hard an’ been good behaved. Now I can truthful -say I been glad to been here today with you an’ your nice teacher, an’ -I hope you can all said the same. An’ I wish you all a merry Chris’mus, -childern, very merry. Yes (_sits, mops face with bandanna_). - -TEACHER (_beaming_)—Now, wasn’t that a splendid speech? An’ we thank -Mr. Judd very, very much, don’t we, children? - -CHILDREN—Yes, ma’am. - -TEACHER—An’ now, children, we will sing our Santy Claus song, an’ who -knows, children, mebbe Santy Claus will come right here an’ serprise us -all (_beats time with ruler_). - -TUNE: WONDERFUL WORDS OF LIFE - - ALL SING—There’s a man who lives far away, - His name is Santy Claus, - He comes with his reindeer an’ sleigh, - His name is Santy Claus; - With his bells a ringin’, - He comes presents bringin’, - Listen, you’ll hear (_bells ring off stage_) - Here comes old Santy Claus! - - _Enter Virgil_ (_dressed as Santy Claus_) - -VIRGIL (_gruff voice_)—Wal, wal, childern, didn’t expec’ ter see me -here today, did ye? Wal, here I be an’ I hope yer al glad to see Santy. -Now fust thing, I want ter know HAVE YE BEEN GOOD CHILDERN? Have ye? -(_pause_) Have ye been good? - -TILLY (_faintly_)—Yes, ma’am. - -BILLY—Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo! - -MRS. SKAGGS—W’y, Billy, what’s the matter? - -BILLY—Boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo! I’m ’fraid of Santy Claus. - -MRS. SKAGGS—Now, Billy, Santy won’t hurt you none. - -BILLY (_bawling_)—I want to go home. I want to go home (_cries louder -and falls down on floor_). - -MRS. SKAGGS—Oh, I’m ’fraid he’ll have a fit he’s so skeered. (_to -teacher_) Tell ’im to take off his face so’s Billy can see ’im -(_teacher runs and talks to Virgil who pulls off his false face_). - -TEACHER—See, Billy, it’s only Virgil. - -VIRGIL (_crossly_)—Nice way to spoil our fun (_Billy stops crying, -looks at Virgil and begins to laugh_). - -TEACHER—Now, children, we will have a treat and Mr. Judd will help -Santy pass it to you (_Virgil and Mr. J. give each one a sack of pop -corn and candy as curtain falls_). - - - CURTAIN - - - - -PLAYS, MONOLOGS, Etc. - - -=AS OUR WASHWOMAN SEES IT.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 10 minutes. Nora -is seen at the washboard at the home of Mrs. McNeal, where, amidst her -work, she engages in a line of gossip concerning her patrons, that will -make a hit with any audience. 25 cents. - -=ASK OUIJA.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 8 minutes. A present-day girl -illustrates to her friends the wonders of the Ouija board. Her comments -on the mysteries of this present-day fad as she consults Ouija will -delight any audience. 25 cents. - -=COONTOWN TROUBLES.= (Bugbee-Berg.) A lively black-face song given by -Josephus Johnsing, Uncle Rastus and other Coontown folks. 35 cents. - -=THE GREAT CHICKEN STEALING CASE OF EBENEZER COUNTY.= (Walter -Richardson.) A negro mock trial for 9 males, 2 females and jurors. -Time, 35 minutes. Any ordinary room easily arranged. From start to -finish this trial is ludicrous to the extreme and will bring roars of -laughter from the audience. 25 cents. - -=THE GREAT WHISKEY-STEALING CASE OF RUMBOLD VS. RYEBOLD.= (Walter -Richardson.) A mock trial for 11 males and jury. The fun increases as -the trial proceeds, and reaches a climax when the jury decides who -stole the whiskey. 25 cents. - -=HERE’S TO THE LAND OF THE STARS AND THE STRIPES.= (Bugbee-Worrell.) -Open your minstrel with this rousing patriotic song. Sheet music. 35 -cents. - -=THE KINK IN KIZZIE’S WEDDING.= (Mary Bonham.) Time, 20 minutes. For 7 -males and 5 females. A colored wedding that will convulse any audience -with laughter. Said to be the funniest mock wedding ever produced. 25 -cents. - -=SHE SAYS SHE STUDIES.= A monologue. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) A sentimental -high-school girl seated with her books preparing the next day’s -lessons, in a highly original and entertaining manner, expresses her -views on the merits of her various studies and her unbiased opinion of -her teachers, as she proceeds from book to book in the order of her -recitation; but when she has finished, you will agree that she is very -much more of an entertainer than a student. 25 cents. - -=SUSAN GETS READY FOR CHURCH.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Time, 10 minutes. -It is time for church and Susan, at her toilet, is excitedly calling -for missing articles and her rapid line of gossip about her friends and -of certain church activities will bring many a laugh. 25 cents. - -=THAT AWFUL LETTER.= A comedy of unusual merit, in one act. (Edna I. -MacKenzie.) For five girls. Time, 30 minutes. Recommended for high -schools, societies and churches. Elizabeth Norton, an accomplished -college girl from the country, has been reluctantly and rudely invited -to visit a city cousin, Margaret Neilson, whom she has never seen. -Finding she is expected to be gawky and uneducated, Elizabeth acts the -part perfectly. Developments follow thick and fast amid flashes of wit, -humor and satire from Elizabeth, who at last reveals her real self. -Margaret’s humiliation is complete and there is a happy ending. All the -characters are good. The country cousin is a star. 25 cents. - -=THE UNEXPECTED GUEST.= A one-act comedy. (Edna I. MacKenzie.) Six -females. Time, 45 minutes. The unexpected arrival of an eccentric aunt -throws, a family into a state of excitement and dismay, but before the -play is over the unwelcome aunt has endeared herself to her relatives -in quite an unexpected manner. Funny situations throughout. 25 cents. - - Paine Publishing Company Dayton, Ohio - - - - -CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENTS - - -=CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN HOLLER.= (Elizabeth P. Guptill.) One of the most -popular Christmas plays clean, wholesome fun from beginning to end. It -depicts the trials of the teacher of an old-fashioned “deestric school” -in conducting the last rehearsal for the Christmas Entertainment. -Children and grown-ups will be delighted with CHRISTMAS AT PUNKIN -HOLLER. 25c. - -=CHRISTMAS AT McCARTHY’S.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A Christmas play for -young folks and children that is brimful of fun from start to close and -is interspersed with the gentlest pathos. All the characters are good. -Easy to produce. No special scenery or costumes. No Santa Claus. Can be -played in any schoolroom. 25c. - -=CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN’ AT SKAGGS’S SKULE.= (Marie Irish.) Just published. -Humorous entertainment for six boys and eight girls, including Ole, the -Swede; Rastus, the negro; bashful Bill; Jeremiah Judkins, the skule -clerk; Mis’ Skaggs and Mis’ Hill, the mothers who “help out;” fat -little sister; Matildy and Florildy, the twins; Sam who st-t-tut-ters; -Tiny, and Miss Emmeline Elkins, the teacher. The speech by the skule -clerk and the fake Santy Claus are features. 25c. - -=CHRISTMAS DIALOGUES.= (Cecil J. Richmond.) Every dialogue in this -book is decidedly to the point and easy to prepare. They will delight -both young and old. The book contains the following: Is There a Santa -Clause? (2 small children, Santa Claus and chorus); Herbert’s Discovery -(2 boys); The Christmas Dinner (2 little girls, 1 larger girl, and -2 boys); Playing Santa Claus (1 small and 2 larger boys); A Double -Christmas Gift (2 small girls, 2 larger girls, and 3 boys). Many -customers have told us that the last named dialogue is worth the price -of the book. 25 cents. - -=EVERGREEN AND HOLLY—SONG AND DRILL.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A drill -for any even number of boys and girls, or all girls. The girls carry -garlands of evergreen while the boys carry wreaths of the same. After a -spectacular drill and fancy march they all sing a beautiful Christmas -song, which accompanies the drill. Easy to produce and decidedly novel. -25 cents. - -=GOOD-BYE, CHRISTMAS GROUCHES.= (Irish-Lyman.) A jolly Christmas song -for any number of boys and girls. It abounds with Christmas cheer and -many pleasant surprises. Full of action. Sheet music. This popular song -will put “pep” in your Christmas entertainment and will furnish your -audience a rare treat. 35 cents. - -=POINSETTIA DRILL.= (Marie Irish.) A drill for 12 or more girls -carrying poinsettias. Given to the music of a lively march, -interspersed with verses to the tune of the song. “Comin’ Through the -Rye.” Several diagrams make clear the following of the directions. One -of the most beautiful Christmas drills published. 25 cents. - -=SANTA CLAUS IS COMING.= (Irish-Garster.) Song for little folks. Easy -words and simple action. A pleasing little song that the children will -enjoy giving and others will enjoy hearing, because of its merry humor. -Sheet music. 35 cents. - -=STARS OF BETHLEHEM.= (Irish-Leyman.) A beautiful song of the Christ -Child for either solo or chorus. The music is sweet and perfectly -suited to the beautiful words. A delightful number for children or -adults. Sheet music, 35 cents. - -=SNOWBOUND FOR CHRISTMAS.= (Edna I. MacKenzie.) For 4 boys and 4 girls. -Time, 25 minutes. The roads being blocked by a recent snowstorm, -the Simpson family has not been able to get to town to do their -Christmas shopping. After considerable lamenting by the children over -their disappointment, Ma Simpson, Pa Simpson, and the older children -determine upon home-made presents, which results in a most pleasant -surprise. 25 cents. - -=TOPSY TURVY CHRISTMAS, A.= (Elizabeth F. Guptill.) A decidedly -humorous Christmas play for any number of children from six to twelve -years old. The children are tired of “minding” and of everything -being “just so,” so they start to find a place where things will be -different. There is a pleasing surprise for the audience at every turn -of the play. 25 cents. - - Paine Publishing Company Dayton, Ohio - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -Obvious punctuation errors repaired. - -Page 4, “leters” changed to “letters” (letters of various) - -Page 8, “dissapointed” changed to “disappointed” (very disappointed if -no) - -Page 12, “Maltildy” changed to “Matildy” (Come on, Matildy) - -Page 20, “litle” changed to “little” (my little sister) - -Page 21, “CHILREN” changed to “CHILDREN” (CHILDREN (_heartily_)) - -Inside back cover, “rlatives” changed to “relatives” (to her relatives) - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Christmas Speakin' at Skagg's Schule, by -Marie Irish - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CHRISTMAS SPEAKIN'--SKAGG'S SCHULE *** - -***** This file should be named 53896-0.txt or 53896-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/8/9/53896/ - -Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was -produced from images generously made available by The -Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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