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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #53864 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/53864)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Story of a Baby, by Ethel Turner
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Story of a Baby
-
-Author: Ethel Turner
-
-Release Date: January 2, 2017 [EBook #53864]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF A BABY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Wilson and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images generously made available by The
-Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-The Story of a Baby
-
-
-[Decoration: NAVTILVS SERIES]
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: "'He is exactly twenty-one pounds,' she said."]
-
-
-
-
-THE STORY OF A BABY
-
-BY ETHEL TURNER
-
-
-[Decoration: The Navtilvs Series]
-
-WARD LOCK & BOWDEN: LIMITED
-LONDON · NEW YORK & MELBOURNE
-1896
-
-
-
-
-TO THE BEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD
-
-E. T., _Sydney_.
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
- CHAP. PAGE
- I. THE BURDEN OF IT 1
-
- II. THE RED ROAD COUNTRY 11
-
- III. DOT AND LARRIE FALL OUT 21
-
- IV. THE 'LITTLE MOTHER' 33
-
- V. MORE RIFTS IN THE LUTE 45
-
- VI. LARRIE THE LOAFER 58
-
- VII. A POCKET MADAME MELBA 73
-
- VIII. PICTURES IN THE FIRE 83
-
- IX. A CONFLICT OF WILLS 97
-
- X. A DARN ON A DRESS 111
-
- XI. A QUESTION OF OWNERSHIP 124
-
- XII. A LITTLE DIPLOMAT 131
-
- XIII. DOT GOES BABY LIFTING 140
-
- XIV. THE WHEEL IN THE BRAIN 147
-
- XV. SULLIVAN WOOSTER, GENTLEMAN 154
-
-
-
-
-THE STORY OF A BABY
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I
-
-THE BURDEN OF IT
-
-
-Larrie had been carrying it for a long way and said it was quite time
-Dot took her turn.
-
-Dot was arguing the point.
-
-She reminded him of all athletic sports he had taken part in, and of
-all the prizes he had won; she asked him what was the use of being
-six-foot-two and an impossible number of inches round the chest if he
-could not carry a baby.
-
-Larrie gave her an unexpected glance and moved the baby to his other
-arm; he was heated and unhappy, there seemed absolutely no end to the
-red, red road they were traversing, and Dot, as well as refusing to
-help to carry the burden, laughed aggravatingly at him when he said it
-was heavy.
-
-'He is exactly twenty-one pounds,' she said, 'I weighed him on the
-kitchen scales yesterday, I should think a man of your size ought to
-be able to carry twenty-one pounds without grumbling so.'
-
-'But he's on springs, Dot,' he said, 'just look at him, he's never
-still for a minute, you carry him to the beginning of Lee's orchard,
-and then I'll take him again.'
-
-Dot shook her head.
-
-'I'm very sorry, Larrie,' she said, 'but I really can't. You know I
-didn't want to bring the child, and when you insisted, I said to myself,
-you should carry him every inch of the way, just for your obstinacy.'
-
-'But you're his mother,' objected Larrie.
-
-He was getting seriously angry, his arms ached unutterably, his clothes
-were sticking to his back, and twice the baby had poked a little fat
-thumb in his eye and made it water.
-
-'But you're its father,' Dot said sweetly.
-
-'It's easier for a woman to carry a child than a man'--poor Larrie was
-mopping his hot brow with his disengaged hand--'everyone says so; don't
-be a little sneak, Dot, my arm's getting awfully cramped; here, for
-pity's sake take him.'
-
-Dot shook her head again.
-
-'Would you have me break my vow, St Lawrence?' she said.
-
-She looked provokingly cool and unruffled as she walked along by his
-side; her gown was white, with transparent puffy sleeves, her hat was
-white and very large, she had little white canvas shoes, long white
-Suéde gloves, and she carried a white parasol.
-
-'I'm hanged,' said Larrie, and he stopped short in the middle of the
-road, 'look here, my good woman, are you going to take your baby, or
-are you not?'
-
-Dot revolved her sunshade round her little sweet face.
-
-'No, my good man,' she said, 'I don't propose to carry your baby one
-step.'
-
-'Then I shall drop it,' said Larrie. He held it up in a threatening
-position by the back of its crumpled coat, but Dot had gone sailing on.
-
-'Find a soft place,' she called, looking back over her shoulder once
-and seeing him still standing in the road.
-
-'Little minx,' he said under his breath.
-
-Then his mouth squared itself; ordinarily it was a pleasant mouth, much
-given to laughter and merry words; but when it took that obstinate look,
-one could see capabilities for all manner of things.
-
-He looked carefully around. By the roadside there was a patch of soft,
-green grass, and a wattle bush, yellow-crowned, beautiful. He laid the
-child down in the shade of it, he looked to see there were no ants or
-other insects near; he put on the bootee that was hanging by a string
-from the little rosy foot and he stuck the india-rubber comforter in
-its mouth. Then he walked quietly away and caught up to Dot.
-
-'Well?' she said, but she looked a little startled at his empty arms;
-she drooped the sunshade over the shoulder nearest to him, and gave a
-hasty, surreptitious glance backward. Larrie strode along.
-
-'You look fearfully ugly when you screw up your mouth like that,' she
-said, looking up at his set side face.
-
-'You're an unnatural mother, Dot, that's what you are,' he returned
-hotly. 'By Jove, if I was a woman, I'd be ashamed to act as you do. You
-get worse every day you live. I've kept excusing you to myself, and
-saying you would get wiser as you grew older, and instead, you seem
-more childish every day.'
-
-She looked childish. She was very, very small in stature, very slightly
-and delicately built. Her hair was in soft gold-brown curls, as short
-as a boy's; her eyes were soft, and wide, and tender, and beautiful as
-a child's. When she was happy they were the colour of that blue, deep
-violet we call the Czar, and when she grew thoughtful, or sorrowful,
-they were like the heart of a great, dark purple pansy. She was not
-particularly beautiful, only very fresh, and sweet, and lovable. Larrie
-once said she always looked like a baby that has been freshly bathed
-and dressed, and puffed with sweet violet powder, and sent out into the
-world to refresh tired eyes.
-
-That was one of his courtship sayings, more than a year ago when she was
-barely seventeen. She was eighteen now, and he was telling her she was
-an unnatural mother.
-
-'Why, the child wouldn't have had its bib on, only I saw to it,' he
-said, in a voice that increased in excitement as he dwelt on the
-enormity.
-
-'Dear me,' said Dot, 'that was very careless of Peggie, I must really
-speak to her about it.'
-
-'I shall shake you some day, Dot,' Larrie said, 'shake you till your
-teeth rattle. Sometimes I can hardly keep my hands off you.'
-
-His brow was gloomy, his boyish face troubled, vexed.
-
-And Dot laughed. Leaned against the fence skirting the road that seemed
-to run to eternity, and laughed outrageously.
-
-Larrie stopped too. His face was very white and square-looking, his dark
-eyes held fire. He put his hands on the white, exaggerated shoulders of
-her muslin dress and turned her round.
-
-'Go back to the bottom of the hill this instant, and pick up the child
-and carry it up here,' he said.
-
-'Go and insert your foolish old head in a receptacle for
-_pommes-de-terre_,' was Dot's flippant retort.
-
-Larrie's hands pressed harder, his chin grew squarer.
-
-'I'm in earnest, Dot, deadly earnest. I order you to fetch the child,
-and I intend you to obey me,' he gave her a little shake to enforce the
-command. 'I am your master, and I intend you to know it from this day.'
-
-Dot experienced a vague feeling of surprise at the fire in the eyes that
-were nearly always clear, and smiling, and loving, then she twisted
-herself away.
-
-'Pooh,' she said, 'you're only a stupid overgrown, passionate boy,
-Larrie. You my master! You're nothing in the world but my husband.'
-
-'Are you going?' he said in a tone he had never used before to her. 'Say
-Yes or No, Dot, instantly.'
-
-'No,' said Dot, stormily.
-
-Then they both gave a sob of terror, their faces blanched, and they
-began to run madly down the hill.
-
-Oh the long, long way they had come, the endless stretch of red, red
-road that wound back to the gold-tipped wattles, the velvet grass, and
-their baby!
-
-Larrie was a fleet, wonderful runner. In the little cottage where they
-lived, manifold silver cups and mugs bore witness to it, and he was
-running for life now, but Dot nearly outstripped him.
-
-She flew over the ground, hardly touching it, her arms were
-outstretched, her lips moving. They fell down together on their knees by
-their baby, just as three furious, hard-driven bullocks thundered by,
-filling the air with dust and bellowing.
-
-The baby was blinking happily up at a great fat golden beetle that was
-making a lazy way up the wattle. It had lost its 'comforter' and was
-sucking its thumb thoughtfully. It had kicked off its white knitted
-boots, and was curling its pink toes up in the sunshine with great
-enjoyment.
-
-'Baby!' Larrie said. The big fellow was trembling in every limb.
-
-'_Baby!_' said Dot. She gathered it up in her little shaking arms, she
-put her poor white face down upon it, and broke into such pitiful tears
-and sobs that it wept too. Larrie took them both into his arms, and sat
-down on a fallen tree. He soothed them, he called them a thousand
-tender, beautiful names; he took off Dot's hat and stroked her little
-curls, he kissed his baby again and again; he kissed his wife. When they
-were all quite calm and the bullocks ten miles away, they started again.
-
-'I'll carry him,' said Larrie.
-
-'Ah no, let me,' Dot said.
-
-'Darling, you're too tired--see, you can hold his hand across my
-shoulder.'
-
-'No, no, give him to me--my arms ache without him.'
-
-'But the hill--my big baby!'
-
-'Oh, I _must_ have him--Larrie, _let_ me--see, he is so light--why, he
-is nothing to carry.'
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II
-
-THE RED ROAD COUNTRY
-
-
-In cool weather the Red Road was very pleasant walking. It wound up hill
-and down dale for many a mile till it reached Hornsby, and branched away
-into different country.
-
-All the way there were gum trees--gum trees and fences; here and there
-were closer palings and garden shrubs indicating human residence, but
-they were far apart and the road was very lonely. Parallel to it and
-showing in places between the trees was the single line of the railway.
-It did not spoil the scenery at all, it rather gave a friendly look to
-it and reminded the pedestrian that in spite of the bush silences, the
-towering trees, the vista of blue hills and the mountain-like freshness
-of the air, he could be in all the bustle and happy fellowship of town
-in half-an-hour.
-
-Away to the left the ground dipped, then rose again, in a blue soft
-hill, dipped again, and the new rise was purple and beautiful. The third
-dip, just a line, white sometimes and again blue was the harbour. On
-clear days one could see the smoke of vessels. Beyond the hills and the
-water-line stretched Sydney city, white and shining in the distant
-sunlight. Further away, over near the sky, the grey blue hills and the
-light that meant sand-stretches was Botany.
-
-Higher up, and between the first and second hill-rise, ran the river
-they call Lane Cove. A great white building, St Ignatius, made one
-land-mark and the Mortlake gas-works another; from those places the
-residents knew their geography. That was Eastwood away over there,
-nestling among hills; those blurred cottages indicated Ryde; just where
-the tree tops showed in a hollow, was the head of the river, and right
-away on the west horizon a certain patch was the highest place in the
-blue mountains. In a few years the beautiful country-side will be
-commonplace suburbs; there will be stucco villas and terrace houses,
-shops and paved roads; the railway has broken its fastness and the
-change is inevitable.
-
-The smooth grass slopes, the wooded stretches will live only in memory.
-The great red-and-black and silver-limbed gums will be hewn down to make
-way for spreading civilisation. The blue gracious hills will be thick
-with chimneys and advertisement boards. There will be a double line of
-railway, no longer picturesque, and big spreading stations instead of
-primitive sidings where one held up a 'flag by day and a light at night'
-to be picked up of the passing train.
-
-Past St Leonard's the railway is very new, a matter of months indeed.
-
-Before it was opened there were obstacles in the way of reaching Sydney
-that made would-be residents shake their heads, and go to live at
-Paddington, and Forest Lodge, and such crowded places that could be
-reached by tram with a certain degree of comfort.
-
-But before the year of grace 1893, the train from the hills that only
-just escaped being mountains, used to empty out its passengers on the
-little St Leonard's Station. There were two ways only after that of
-getting to Sydney.
-
-Either one merrily trudged a pathway mile, and then caught a North Shore
-cable tram to the point where the Ferry boat leaves for the Circular
-Quay, or one entrusted one's life and well-being to a vehicle that might
-have been a Noah's Ark, or a bathing machine, or a convict van.
-
-In ancient days it used to run between Shoalhaven and Moss-Vale, as its
-red painted sides still bore witness, but travellers in those parts did
-better for themselves, so they brought it here, and charged sixpence
-each way for the twenty-five minutes' journey. Now there is a
-combination of the railway; pressure was brought to bear, and the New
-South Wales Government finished in a hurry a work that had dragged on
-till people despaired of its completion. The line winds down towards the
-chimneys and smoke of 'The Shore'; one has glimpses from the train of
-blue bright bays and white sails moored boats, and a broken wharf or two
-waiting to catch the artist's eye. Then it skirts along the harbour,
-close to the water, in a semi-circular sweep, and makes an eye-sore. Two
-years ago, Lavender Bay was beautiful.
-
-But about the Red Road. Just at the top of one of the elevations, there
-was a big stone house standing in the middle of an orange and lemon
-orchard. Dot's mother lived here by herself.
-
-A mile and a half away down the road there was a weather-board cottage
-in a garden running over with flowers. Larrie and Dot lived here, and
-the baby of course. They had been going up to 'mother's' the afternoon
-they quarrelled about carrying the child; they always went on Sundays.
-
-Very often Dot went on Mondays too, that was the day Peggie, her
-_aide-de-camp_, made the cottage unsavoury with soap-suds. Tuesday
-nights they always had dinner up at the house, Peggie never had time to
-cook on Tuesdays, there were so many of Dot's dresses and Larrie's
-shirts, and baby's multitudinous garments to be finely ironed.
-
-On Thursdays and Saturdays the mother used to come down to the cottage
-and put it straight, and help poor Peggie, and bring a new knitted
-jacket or bootees or a hood or pinafore for baby.
-
-The house was a big lonely place for such a little woman. She was even
-smaller than Dot. She had a tiny fragile figure, and a tiny face, brown
-and shrivelled with Australian suns. Her eyes were very big and
-pathetic, something like Dot's in wistful moments, and her mouth with
-its infinitude of lines, was very sweet.
-
-After her eyes, her brooch was the first thing that invited notice. It
-was one of those large, very old-fashioned ones with a miniature set on
-the front of it. Dot had begged her to cease wearing it; 'It isn't good
-taste,' she had said once vexedly, 'keep it in a drawer;' but the mother
-would not lay it aside even though it was the only thing in which she
-had ever thwarted Dot in her life.
-
-When she went to bed she pinned it on her night-gown, when she dressed
-in the morning she fastened her collar with it. A hundred times a day
-her fingers strayed to it. In her sleep her hand stole up and closed
-upon it.
-
-The miniature was of a very young man in the old fashioned naval uniform
-that used to be worn forty years ago. He had the correct miniature
-smile, but the eyes were well done and you could see his brow had been
-splendid. He was Dot's father, dead sixteen years ago; it was the only
-likeness he had ever had taken.
-
-Inside the brooch was a cluster of little heads, gaudily painted, six in
-all; Dot, the seventh, had been born after it was done.
-
-Four of the heads pressed clay pillows in a churchyard not very far
-away, seas washed over the fifth, and the sixth lay in a lonely grave in
-the wilds of Western Australia.
-
-Dot was the only one alive, and now she had flown from the home-nest to
-one of her own, leaving unutterable desolation behind her in the
-mother's heart.
-
-It was because death had so broken and bruised this little frail mother
-that she had never crossed Dot's will in anything since she was born.
-The days of insistence and control, and obedience-seeking were buried
-with the buried six. Dot ruled, and the mother poured out her heart at
-her feet and worshipped with a love almost desperate.
-
-So when Dot said she was going to be married at once, albeit only
-seventeen years had passed over her little sunny head, the mother had
-not been able to refuse. She had only reminded Larrie, whom she loved
-dearly and had known for years, how young her darling was, and on her
-knees she had prayed him to be good to her always. Larrie was
-twenty-two. For sixteen years he had come up to the house in the
-holidays at the first sign of a ripening orange; he had eaten bananas
-with Dot, one of them at each end of the fruit, when she was two.
-
-He had played cricket with her at six, climbed trees with her at ten,
-pulled her hair and pinched her for being a girl at twelve, forgotten
-her for a time at fifteen, and come back and married her at seventeen.
-
-He had £250 a year, and no guardians or parents to give him unasked
-advice. So he resolved to take a year's holiday according to his
-doctor's orders, before he started his profession, and teach and train
-Dot till she was an ideal wife. He had all kinds of ideas on the
-subject, though he was so very boyish to look at, and he intended to
-inculcate Dot with them all. But for the first year he was so
-exuberantly happy he forgot all about them.
-
-It was only when the baby was growing into months, and Dot was
-continually forgetting some article of its clothing, or the kicking
-exercise that was to make it an athlete, or when her piano made her
-forget its existence for a little while, that he began to think he was
-not doing his duty by her, and must turn over a new leaf.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III
-
-DOT AND LARRIE FALL OUT
-
-'And though she is but little, she is fierce.'
-
-
-The cottage was a delightful place. It was built of weatherboard, not
-the kind that overlaps, but that with a groove between each board. The
-verandah was very wide and ran round the four sides; that was Larrie's
-great extravagance when he improved the place.
-
-'Where's a fellow to smoke when it's hot or wet if there isn't a decent
-verandah?' he said.
-
-He and Dot had walked miles upon it in the early months of the year, he
-with his pipe in his lips and a look of great content in his eyes, she
-with her hands linked at the back of her neck or slipped around his
-arm.
-
-There was a profusion of hammocks and lounges and chairs that made you
-lazy to look at them. That was Dot's extravagance. On one side the outer
-wall was of yellow and white roses that flowered eternally, on another,
-wistaria with delicate down-dropping blooms. The third--the kitchen
-side--was passion-vines, and the fourth was clear, and showed a grand
-sweep of country, and all the Sydney vista.
-
-There was a narrow hall and a painted front door, on either side of it
-long French windows opening, one into the dining-room, the other into
-Dot's beautiful little drawing-room.
-
-She had spent a week thinking out the furnishing of that room, and
-nearly all her mother's wedding-present cheque upon it.
-
-'No, I won't have a carpet,' she said when her mother was dwelling upon
-the advantages of Brussels over Wilton pile, 'and no, I won't have felt,
-it's too stuffy looking; and if you buy me a proper tapestry suite I
-shall set fire to it. In India people furnish sensibly, but in
-Australia, which must be nearly as hot, they do everything in English
-style.'
-
-The little mother ceased her suggestions, and Dot worked her own will
-with really charming effect.
-
-The room was rather low, and the walls and ceiling tinted a delicate
-green. There was a large centre square of white matting, fringed at the
-edge and a border of pale green around it. The three French windows had
-long soft curtains of white with pale green frills. No two chairs were
-alike. They were of rattan and pith, and bamboo in quaint shapes. One
-had a flat sea-green cushion of plush, one a triangular one of silk with
-frills of coral pink; there was a lovely pith sofa lounge, wide,
-inviting, with a pile of pillows in cool Liberty silk. In a corner the
-piano stood, a beautiful instrument though very plain. It was not draped
-in art muslin, and it had no photos or _bric-à-brac_ on it to jingle and
-spoil the wonderful music Dot brought forth from it. A great lamp stood
-beside it with a green crinkled paper canopy, restful to the eye.
-
-In another corner there was a low bookcase running along the wall;
-volumes of Browning caught the eye, Tennyson, William Morris, Shelley,
-Keats, all the gods.
-
-There was a sandal wood writing-table, with silver handles and silver
-equipments, a silver lamp with a rose-leaf shade, and a photo of baby in
-a silver chased frame.
-
-There was not a tambourine on the walls, not a single fan pocket, not a
-plaque. Half-a-dozen pictures perhaps, bits of exquisite colouring
-chiefly in long narrow gold frames; a sunset at Manly Lagoon, a bit of
-the Kanimbla valley, with summer upon it, a water colour of the road
-above Mossman's Bay, a woman's face, pale and unspeakably beautiful,
-painted against a background of purple velvet, some chrysanthemums,
-tawny yellow and brown.
-
-One or two engravings as well. 'Wedded' in an oak frame hung over the
-piano. Dot said the man was Larrie's very counterpart; when she sang she
-used to look up at it and feel glad he was her husband. On a tall easel
-on a table there was the 'Peacemaker.' Larrie said the little girl was
-Dot. There were bits of quaint china on the little tables, and a few
-photographs, not many. Flowers there were in all possible places.
-Daffodils and spiky leaves in the windows, roses and 'shivery' grass on
-the tables, low vases of violets and primroses, tall ones of jonquils.
-Dot dusted this room herself every morning, then before she could put
-the duster away, the piano would tempt her, and the rest of the house be
-forgotten. But for Peggie what a place it would have been!
-
-Peggie was a real Cornstalk. She was fully five-feet-eleven, and had
-impossibly long arms and an impossible number of freckles. But she had
-also all a Cornstalk's warm, honest heart; she was devoted to Dot and
-Larrie, and absolutely worshipped the baby. She made no better a servant
-as far as work went, than the average untrained Australian girl; but she
-was wonderfully learned in the ways and wants of babyhood, and so was
-invaluable to Dot who was absurdly ignorant. When Larrie had engaged
-her twelve months ago at a Sydney registry office, he had asked her
-name.
-
-'Marjorie Dorothy Pegerton,' she said.
-
-'Ah!' said Larrie, 'that's a high day and holiday name, shall we say
-Mary on week days?'
-
-'Marjie, some folks call me,' she answered. 'Or there's Dolly--I'm not
-particular--you can even call me Peg if you like, Mr--what was it the
-gentleman said your name was?'
-
-'Armitage,' said Larrie, 'and let us decide on Peggie; it is unique, and
-altogether charming in these days.'
-
-They were both very fond of Peggie, she was the stay of the cottage in
-all domestic affairs--it would have fallen to pieces but for her, and
-the baby--well there is really no knowing what would have happened to
-that same baby had it not been for Peggie.
-
-Larrie generally minded the baby on Thursday mornings. It was Thursday
-morning now. Peggie was doing her routine work for that time, scrubbing
-the bare pine floors of the bedrooms. Larrie and Dot both hated carpets.
-
-Larrie was smoking his third postprandial pipe, and was pacing up and
-down one side of the verandah; he would have liked to have gone the
-whole distance, but then there was the baby.
-
-It was lying in a hammock in a nest of pillows, and looking with calm,
-large gaze out into all the world that appeared through a gap in the
-rose creeper. There was the pink flush of recent sleep on its little
-soft cheeks, and its hair, the softest, warmest gold in the world, was
-all tumbled and curly with washing. It had a wonderful amount of hair
-for so young a child, and Dot's pride in it was forgivable, for nearly
-all the babies of her acquaintance were bald.
-
-Have you ever kissed a baby's neck? Was ever anything so warm and white
-and velvety? The neck of Dot's baby was absolutely beyond description.
-Its mouth was red, bowshaped. Sometimes it gave wide wet touches on
-Dot's cheeks, and she would whisper excitedly to Larrie that it was
-kissing her.
-
-Such wonderful, wondering eyes it had, intensely blue, intensely
-earnest. There had been moments when Larrie felt he would give his soul
-to know just what his baby was thinking of.
-
-Did you show it a beautiful flower or a low hanging silver moon, a
-picture, something bright with colour? it seemed to be looking away far
-beyond them and smiling in a faint sweet way, because it saw fairer
-things than ever you dreamed of.
-
-Its hands--well, perhaps they were like most babies' hands, but neither
-Dot, nor Larrie, nor Peggie, nor the little mother would have allowed it
-for a moment. They were like the inside of a flushed, curled, rose-leaf,
-and when they closed round your finger, you felt how strangely sweet,
-and soft and warm they were. From the long open window came the sound of
-Dot's voice, singing. The baby was listening as it lay in the hammock.
-Larrie was listening as he smoked, though in a half reluctant way.
-
-When little souls are born, just before they come to us from the
-wonderful place of souls, they have to do with a lottery. To a thousand
-little blind struggling souls, there are half-a-dozen great good gifts.
-Nine hundred and ninety-four draw blanks, but the band of six come down
-to us blessed, rejoicing. Dot had been of the six. She had drawn a
-voice. Generally Larrie rejoiced because of it.
-
-Not this morning, however. He had been brooding lately over Dot's
-deficiencies, and he almost wished she had been of the nine hundred and
-ninety-four. For one thing, he could have walked all the four sides of
-the verandah if she had been. The thought rankled.
-
-'Dot,' he called in 'a voice.'
-
-Only little bursts of melody answered him. She was singing a rippling
-song of Schubert's; it was in keeping with the warm, soft air outside,
-the twittering of birds, the faint motion of the gum leaves.
-
-'Dot!' he shouted.
-
-She put a curly little head between the window curtains.
-
-'Well, Larrakin?' she said.
-
-'Come and mind the baby,' he said shortly, 'I want to smoke.'
-
-'But baby doesn't mind smoke at all--do you, small sweet?' she said,
-going over to the hammock. 'Oh Larrie, look how uncomfortable he is,
-you're a nice one to look after him; and where's his comforter? he'll
-have no thumb left presently.'
-
-'I threw it away,' Larrie answered, 'all that indiarubber can't be good
-for him, I don't intend him to have another.'
-
-'Stupid!' said Dot. She kissed the baby, tickled it, tossed it, then
-laid it down again.
-
-'What did you call me for,' she said. 'I was just enjoying myself.' Her
-eyes still had the look of being away in the spheres. 'He's all right
-there and it's your turn to mind him, Larrie. I walked him about for an
-hour in the night.'
-
-She moved to go in again.
-
-'Stop here when I tell you, and mind him,' he said in an unpardonable
-voice.
-
-Dot gave him a surprised look.
-
-'You forget yourself, Larrie,' she said quietly.
-
-She went in and her fingers wandered into the quiet, calm music of one
-of Mendelssohn's gondola songs. But she took it in rather hurried time.
-Larrie disturbed her when he had this mood on. He came behind her and
-lifted her hands off the keyboard.
-
-'Go and mind the child this minute.' The flame in his eyes showed itself
-instantly in hers.
-
-'How dare you speak to me like that!' she said.
-
-'Go and mind the child,' said Larrie.
-
-Dot crashed a passionate chord on the piano, she lifted her right hand
-for a brilliant run. But Larrie picked her up in his arms and put her
-outside on the verandah near the hammock. Then he went in and closed the
-drawing-room door behind him.
-
-By the time she had flown round through the dining-room he was locking
-the piano.
-
-'How _dare_ you!' Dot said in trembling fury. 'My piano! give me that
-key instantly.'
-
-'Go and mind your child,' he said. He was stooping a little, for the key
-stuck, since it was never used; his head was almost on a level with the
-lid.
-
-The next minute he was standing straight in confused astoundment. Dot
-had dealt him a passionate box on the ear, and fled from the room.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV
-
-THE 'LITTLE MOTHER'
-
-'Kiss and be friends, like children being chid.'
-
-
-It was unwritten law that thunder storms at the cottage should never
-travel to the house. But when Dot hurried up the drive and burst into
-the dining-room with a scarlet face and glowing eyes, the mother was
-afraid something was wrong.
-
-'Why, it's Thursday, Dot!' she said, 'I was just coming down.'
-
-Dot took off her wide brimmed hat and fanned herself for a moment.
-
-'There was curry cooking in the kitchen,' she said; 'onions, pah!'
-
-'How's the baby, why didn't you bring him?' asked the little mother.
-
-'Oh, bother the baby,' said Dot.
-
-'Is Larrie's neuralgia better?' the mother ventured after a little
-pause. And 'bother Larrie,' was Dot's wifely response.
-
-The mother got out the twenty-seventh pair of boots she was knitting for
-baby, and worked two rows in silence. She wondered if it was Larrie's
-fault or Dot's. Larrie's she was sure. She wished Dot was her one little
-girl again, so she could take all the troubles for her.
-
-'How did Peggie like the new soap I left her?' she said, anxiously
-flying from topics that made Dot's brows frown.
-
-'Bother Peggie,' said Dot. 'She washed baby's nightgowns with it, and
-the whole world's placarded with advertisements that say don't. Idiot!'
-
-'The oranges are ripening beautifully,' said the poor little mother.
-
-Dot went over to her and kissed her passionately.
-
-'You're the best woman in the world,' she said.
-
-Tears of quick pleasure sprang into the mother's eyes.
-
-'_My_ little girl,' she said softly.
-
-She held Dot from her a minute, and scanned the flushed face with eyes
-that saw everything.
-
-'I wish I was,' Dot said, in a stifled tone, 'just yours.'
-
-Anger crept into the mother's big eyes. 'Has Larrie?'--she said,
-'Larrie, has he--does he?'--indignation overcame her.
-
-'Oh no,' said Dot, ashamed of so nearly infringing the law. 'Larrie's
-all right--what are you running your head against, small woman?'
-
-'He is good to you?' suspiciously.
-
-'_Very_ good.'
-
-She got up and went to the piano. 'I came to have a good practice,' she
-said. 'One can't with baby about.'
-
-She screwed up the stool, opened the lid, and got out a pile of music.
-Wagner was at the bottom of the canterbury, and she sought for him, and
-then attacked him with level brows.
-
-By the time she had made ten mistakes, and the little mother's head was
-aching, there was the click of an opening gate.
-
-'I--' said Dot, 'I--think I shall go home.' She jumped up and peeped
-through the Venetian. 'Baby may want me, and--and--if Larrie should
-happen to come in, you needn't say I've been; he thinks I walk too
-much.'
-
-She gave her mother a hurried kiss on the top of her cap, and slipped
-out of the back door and across the paddocks to the train.
-
-Larrie came down the hall with slow step. He sat down in Dot's old
-rocking-chair. 'Morning, mum,' he said, 'the oranges are looking
-lovely.' He was eating one he had plucked near the gate, but did not
-seem to be paying any attention to the taste of it.
-
-The little mother regarded him with eyes full of severity, though she
-tried to hide it.
-
-'Dot is not looking well,' she said, 'haven't you noticed? We mustn't
-let her do too much, we must be very careful of her, Larrie boy.'
-
-Larrie looked a trifle disturbed for a minute, then righteous wrath
-prevailed over incipient anxiety. 'Why she doesn't do anything,' he
-said, '_anything_.'
-
-'She's very young,' was the mother's reply.
-
-'Oh, that's nothing,' said Larrie 'lots of girls of eighteen are married
-and do everything.'
-
-'Not little tiny girls like Dot,' urged mother, 'you mustn't be hard on
-her, Larrie, she'll be all she should be in time.'
-
-'But not if I don't teach her,' he insisted; 'why, how can she?'
-
-'It comes of itself,' the mother answered.
-
-But a dark look of recollective annoyance spread over Larrie's brow.
-
-'She forgot baby's teething necklace three days last week, she's always
-forgetting things,' he said.
-
-Then he too remembered the law, and ate the rest of his orange in
-silence.
-
-'I wish you would not come down to the cottage quite so often,' was the
-remark with which he broke a meditation that had involved criss-crossed
-brows and five slow minutes. A little odd sound broke from the mother's
-lips. Larrie looked up and saw she was white under her brown and her
-eyes were piteous.
-
-He crossed over to her with two swift steps. He knelt down beside her
-chair, and put both his arms round her thin waist.
-
-'How dare you, mum, how _dare_ you have such thoughts!' he said. He
-kissed her several times in an eager, boyish way. 'You _know_ you could
-never come too often for me, you _know_ you are more to me than my own
-mother ever was. It's only Dot, don't you see? She's getting too
-dependent, mum. We'll have to let her stand alone a little more. Peggie
-spoils her, you spoil her--I even spoil her myself--mightn't it be a
-good thing to let her do things by herself for a change, just for a
-trial, mum? And she shall come here of course. Only, don't you come to
-the cottage for a bit, and do all the things she leaves undone in that
-quiet little way you have.'
-
-'Not even Saturdays, Larrie? That's the hardest day.'
-
-'No,' Larrie said. 'Be a good little mum and leave her to me.'
-
-He stood up, all his six feet and odd inches, his young face grave,
-resolute, his eyes full of seriousness.
-
-'He looks like a man fit to be trusted with his own wife,' the little
-mother told herself as she looked up at him.
-
-Aloud, she said in a tone of wistful resignation. 'Very well, Larrie,
-you will be gentle with her, I know--she's such a little thing.'
-
-Larrie walked home. He was thinking all the way of the new leaf he was
-about to turn. Dot had behaved in an altogether unforgivable manner. He
-must be firm with her, very firm, he told himself. He was inclined to
-spoil her, as he had said, and overlook her faults--but from now, he
-must show her, too, his displeasure at the disrespectful way she had
-treated him in the morning. Boxing a husband's ears!
-
-The red burnt on his brow as he opened the gate, thinking of it and
-heard Dot trilling Amiens' song as she watered some sickly pelargoniums
-she was trying to grow.
-
-'I must be firm, very firm,' Dot had told herself. 'No husband should
-order his wife about in the way Larrie ordered me. He is a little, just
-a little inclined to tyrannise, and I shall be laying up unhappiness for
-myself if I do not nip it in the earliest bud.'
-
-When she saw his figure coming down the hill, she laid the baby down in
-the cot inside and bade Peggie give an eye to him. Then she popped on a
-clean muslin dress with forget-me-nots sprinkled all over it, tied the
-blue ribbons of her picturesque garden hat in a coquettish bow at the
-side of her chin, and when Larrie opened the gate she was flitting about
-the flower beds with an absurdly small red watering can in her hand and
-the gay little song on her lips. It certainly was provoking.
-
-[Illustration: "When Larrie opened the gate she was flitting about the
-flower beds."]
-
-He had pictured her coming to his side with eyes all wet and sorry, and
-asking forgiveness for being so naughty and childish. He had decided
-to forgive her after a time, but to show her first, quietly and gravely,
-how much in error she had been. And now--
-
- 'Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly!
- Then heigh-ho, the holly!
- This life is most jolly.'
-
-and a whole gamut of lilts and trills of her own introduction.
-
-Larrie closed his lips very tightly and strode past her into the house.
-
-'I might have known she would turn into that kind of woman,' he
-muttered, casting off his straw hat in the dining-room. 'A man never
-knows a girl till he's married to her, she never shows herself in a true
-light before.'
-
-He went into an adjoining bedroom for a linen coat to get cool in.
-
-Baby was disporting himself in the high-sided cot; his little legs were
-bare and kicking against the pillows, his arms were bare, and his soft,
-sweet neck. Such a gurgle and chirrup of welcome he gave his father! He
-banged his heels on the iron, he gave a rapturous little leap, and said
-'Googul, googul, googul.'
-
-Larrie glanced half-shamefacedly through the window to make sure Dot
-could not see, and then he went over to the cot and said glad responsive
-'googuls,' and submitted his crisp curls to the wee fingers, and tossed
-him about in his arms.
-
-But when the dinner-bell rang he laid him down in a hurry, and moved out
-of the room. Only he could not quite call up the stern 'firm' manner
-again.
-
-Dot sprang up the verandah steps, and went into the bedroom to take off
-her hat, and wash invisible gardening marks from her fingers.
-
-'I won't quarrel,' she whispered to herself, 'but I must really show him
-I am not to be bullied. I will be _very_ firm.'
-
-'Googul' said baby.
-
-Such a mournful little googul! there were actually two tiny tears
-welling up in the blue wide eyes, for tossing and petting were joyful to
-him.
-
-Dot shut the door. Then she said '_Baby_' in a tempestuous little way,
-and two quick answering tears sprang up in her own eyes as she lifted
-him up to her. It was such a lonely, reproachful little 'googul.' She
-sat down on the bed with him, and made his small heart gladsome again
-with kisses and baby-talk.
-
-The door opened one inch--then wide.
-
-'The curry coolin' as 'ard as it can, and master lookin' black, and 'ere
-you are,' said Peggie resentfully. 'Give 'im to me, the darling angel.'
-
-Dot handed him over, and hurried into the dining-room.
-
-'You're putting milk in, what are you thinking of?' Larrie said in an
-injured tone after two minutes' silence. Dot was actually thus spoiling
-the cup of tea he always drank brown and sugarful. Peggie had forgotten
-the slop basin. Dot got up to go to the cupboard which was near Larrie's
-end of the table.
-
-'If you'll never be naughty again I'll forgive you,' she said in a
-whisper at his elbow. Her eyes were wet, sorry, pleading.
-
-'You _dear_ little girl,' Larrie said. He laid down his knife and fork
-and put his arms round her waist, 'I was a perfect brute to you, it was
-all my fault.'
-
-'No, mine,' said Dot.
-
-'_Mine_,' insisted Larrie.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V
-
-MORE RIFTS IN THE LUTE
-
- 'This grew: I gave commands,
- Then all smiles stopped together.'
-
-
-But naturally this kind of thing could not go on for ever.
-
-Quarrels, with little tender makings up like that had a certain charm
-while their freshness lasted. But when the fallings out became events of
-almost weekly occurrence, the fallings in were no longer things to be
-put away in 'the hushed herbarium where we keep our hearts'
-forget-me-nots.'
-
-Larrie _was_ exacting and inclined to be tyrannical. And Dot _was_
-careless and childish, and unreasonable. The first week that the mother
-did not come down to look after Peggie, and do her fifty odd acts of
-straightening, the cottage was in a glorious state of muddle.
-
-Larrie by nature was an order-loving and somewhat methodical man, and
-had an inborn objection to see Dot's pretty slippers lying about the
-house, or stray articles of baby's clothing on the verandah chairs. He
-thought breakfast things too ought not to be left on the table till all
-hours in the morning, and when Dot asked him how he could expect Peggie
-to dress baby and make the beds _and_ wash up by ten, he retorted
-brutally that she was a lazy little slattern, and should do it herself.
-
-'A slattern is a person untidy in herself,' Dot replied, 'you can't say
-you've ever seen me like that, Laurence Armitage!'
-
-And he certainly could not. Whatever her faults were, Dot was a little
-lady to the backbone, and would have been always sweet and fresh, and
-guiltless of pins and rents if she had never been able to afford more
-than fourpence half-penny prints to clothe herself with. Shabby finery
-she had a wholesome detestation for; however plain her dress might be,
-it was always dainty, her shoes fitted trimly, her collar was above
-reproach and fastened with precision, her gloves were unsoiled, and her
-hats always fresh if only trimmed with Indian muslin.
-
-But she was certainly a shocking young person where household matters
-were concerned. There was plenty of work to do even in so small a place;
-Peggie, however, had cheerfully taken it on her own shoulders at the
-beginning, and the things she ought to have done and left undone, the
-little mother did.
-
-It was not until there was a third member in the family that the
-housework was appreciably neglected. When the fascination of 'dressing
-baby' was no longer new to Dot, and Peggie, its devoted worshipper,
-begged to add that duty to her others, Dot consented with alacrity. And
-Larrie looked on and told himself daily these things ought not to be.
-
-One day there was a very great passage-at-arms. Peggie had gone to
-Sydney for the day to spend her month's wages in a fearful and wonderful
-hat she had long had her eye upon, and Dot was left with the whole
-burden of the household upon her shoulders.
-
-Generally on the rare occasions of Peggie's absence, the mother came
-down and presided over the kitchen and the baby, and Dot had little else
-to do than lay the table and help to dish up. But to-day Larrie's wicked
-conspiracy stood in the way.
-
-The mother sent down a little note; it was very hot, would Dot mind if
-she did not come, her head was inclined to ache badly? And Larrie had
-'business in town' and would be back by the train just in time for
-dinner.
-
-Dot felt overwhelmed with the responsibilities of her position.
-
-'I think you had better take baby up to mother's first, Larrie,' she
-said, 'I don't see how I am to mind him and cook the dinner and do
-everything.'
-
-'How does Peggie manage when you're away? My dear Dot, I hope you are
-not going to give me the idea that you are one of those women utterly
-without resource,' said my lord Larrie. 'My sister Charlotte--'
-
-'Grace!' cried Dot, 'spare me the recapitulation of the puddings she
-could make and the wonders she could do at sixteen.'
-
-'Well, I only wanted to show you,' said Larrie.
-
-He brushed the dust off his shoulders, set his straw hat perfectly
-straight on his head--he always wore it tilted forward or stuck jauntily
-back in these wilds--and with a paternal kind of kiss to Dot and a
-grandfatherly one to the baby, he departed.
-
-'I'll just show him what I can do,' said Dot going kitchenwards. 'Horrid
-boy!'
-
-It was six or thereabouts when the 'horrid boy' returned. He was
-hungry--amazingly hungry--and apart from his experiment he really hoped
-that there was a very nice dinner ready. The white tablecloth was on the
-dining-room table and the flowers were exquisitely arranged, drooping
-blossoms of wistaria and delicate leaves on a ground of pale yellow
-silk. There were also some knives and forks in a heap, two salt-cellars
-and the silver gong. From the bedroom came doleful baby wails that
-filled all the cottage. From the kitchen a strong smell of burning.
-
-'Gracious Lor,' said Peggie.
-
-But 'Hang it all!' was her master's remark.
-
-Peggie set her bandbox down and followed at his heels into the kitchen.
-
-Dot was standing over the fire. Nearly every piece of crockery in the
-house stood dirty upon the table. Egg shells lay about, the sugar jar,
-the currant, the peel, the pepper, the flour, and all the store cupboard
-were in evidence. She turned a peony face towards them. 'Dinner's not
-ready yet, and it's no use being cross, Larrie, if only you knew what a
-bother I've had with the fire.' She lifted a saucepan with a groan and
-set it aside.
-
-'Is there _anything_ to eat?' Larrie asked in a tone not altogether
-mild. 'The place smells like a crematorium.'
-
-Dot sniffed. 'Does it?' she said. 'The meat's burnt, I couldn't help it,
-it burnt while I ran in to dress baby, and then a visitor came after I
-put some cakes and a batter pudding in the oven, and they burnt, there's
-a boiled pudding though, it'll be cooked in half-an-hour, and we can
-have eggs for once.'
-
-Peggie hastened to her bedroom to change her very best dress for an old
-one in which she might take command of her region.
-
-'You really mean to say, Dot, that in all these hours you haven't been
-able to cook a little dinner,' Larrie began. His chin squared itself,
-his lips closed.
-
-'It's no good making faces, my good man,' Dot said. 'I've cut my thumb,
-and I've burnt my wrist, and had sparks in my eyes, and now this is all
-the thanks I get.'
-
-'Eggs when a man comes in hungry for his dinner!--and a pudding not
-cooked! The table--'
-
-'_Will_ you go out of the kitchen, Laurence Armitage,' Dot said facing
-round. 'Do you think I've not had enough without _you_ beginning?'
-
-'--The table not set and a crying baby,' Larrie went on.
-
-'Larrie, _do_ you want to provoke me into throwing a saucepan at your
-head like an Irish washerwoman?' Dot said.
-
-She took the lid off the potatoes and disclosed a pulpy mass boiled out
-of all recognition.
-
-'I don't profess to be perfect; accidents will happen even to the sister
-Charlottes.'
-
-'It's this kind of thing that drives a man from his home to seek comfort
-and pleasure elsewhere,' Larrie said darkly. He really felt exceedingly
-ill-used, and Dot's heated face and worried expression did not appeal to
-him at all.
-
-He even steeled his heart to the little tired tremble in her voice that
-showed the tears were near, and all the time came the distracting sound
-of baby's mournful screams that no one had time or inclination to
-soothe.
-
-'You're a bad wife, Dot,' Larrie said, fully persuaded she was.
-
-Dot gave a hysterical laugh.
-
-'All this because your food's not ready to put in your mouth; men are as
-bad as animals in the Zoo when meal time is delayed!'
-
-'You fail in your duty in every respect, look at this kitchen, Dot,
-think of the dinner, listen to your child.'
-
-But Dot, utterly tired and overwrought, burst into a passion of tears
-and brushed past him.
-
-'I h-h-hate you,' she said, 'I _wish_ I wasn't married to you, oh I _do_
-wish I wasn't.'
-
-'And so do I,' returned Larrie grimly. Even dinner did not restore his
-equanimity, albeit he made a tolerably hearty one with four boiled eggs,
-quantities of bread and butter, and half a tin of sardines as dessert.
-
-Dot stayed out in the garden and refused food entirely.
-
-She wept oceans of tired, hot tears and told herself she was the most
-miserable woman on earth. Later, when only her eyelashes were wet and
-the quiet evening wind had cooled her cheeks and heart, she still
-wondered why girls all the world over were in such a hurry to marry.
-
-She thought wistfully of her careless, unfettered girlhood that she had
-cut so short through her own wilfulness.
-
-'I might have had eight more years,' she whispered to herself,
-'twenty-five is the proper age to marry, he would have been older and
-more patient too, and I should never have felt like this.'
-
-She put down her head on the old seat back and sobbed again
-heartbrokenly for 'like this' meant that love was dying.
-
-Then the wind dried her tears once more, and she sat staring at a patch
-of light that fell from the dining-room lamp out upon the little lawn:
-she was wondering drearily how she should be able to live out all the
-other days of her life.
-
-Larrie stepped out on the verandah, she could see the red of his cigar
-and the dusky outlines of his figure.
-
-'Dot,' he called.
-
-The wind carried his voice over the sleeping flowers, and the wet grass
-down to the broken seat and flung it at her. She slipped out of her
-place and stole off towards the piece of ground that was still
-unreclaimed bush; she could not bear his presence yet. But he saw her
-white flitting dress and followed.
-
-'The dew's as heavy as it can be, you'll get another cold,' he said,
-'come in.'
-
-She shook her head without looking at him.
-
-'Come in, and don't be a silly child,' he said.
-
-Again she shook her head and walked on.
-
-But he caught her arm and turned her gently but firmly round.
-
-'I don't want to have to carry you,' he said. Then he threw his cigar
-away and spoke gravely.
-
-'Look here, Dot, I'm not going to say anything more about this
-afternoon, we'll let that go, all I want you to understand is you must
-give up being childish, and act in a way that befits a married woman.
-I'm tired of this.'
-
-Dot did not speak, she hardly heard the words in fact, only the cold
-tone they were spoken in. She wondered vaguely if her love had been
-dying for a long time or if to-night was only the beginning. She hoped
-she should not live long, she felt quite glad to think the doctor had
-said she had no constitution; how _could_ she go on living if calm
-careless affection was going to take the place of the wonderful love
-that had once made a glory of their every hour. They had both been
-incredulous of the existence of such a place as the dead level of
-matrimony--was this it indeed they had already come upon?
-
-'Well?' said Larrie, 'I'm waiting, Dot, are you going to give it up?'
-
-She gave a little start. 'What do you mean?'
-
-'Give up being so childish, will you try?'
-
-'Oh yes,' she said dully. That was very easy to promise, she felt so
-old, so very much a woman to-night.
-
-Larrie was only half satisfied with that quiet 'Yes.' Where was his
-little loving eager girl gone who would have done anything in the world
-once had he asked it, done it gladly and rejoiced at its difficulty,
-flung her arms round his neck and asked to be tried still more?
-
-Only that spiritless 'Yes,' was her answer to-night. He stifled a sigh
-of bitter disappointment. This was _marriage_, he supposed.
-
-'It's beginning to rain,' he said heavily, 'go in.'
-
-She turned to go,--they had been standing for the last few minutes near
-the old broken seat.
-
-Never yet had they parted after the making up of a quarrel without a
-kiss, and he would not omit it now.
-
-But he stooped his head in almost an awkward way down to her bent one,
-and it was not the kiss of a lover.
-
-She merely submitted a drooped cheek to his lips, and went slowly up to
-the house alone.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI
-
-LARRIE THE LOAFER
-
- 'She had
- A heart--how shall I say? too soon made glad,
- Too easily impressed: she liked what e'er
- She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.'
-
-
-Larrie and Dot had come upon the great rock that lies near the beginning
-of the matrimonial path of all those who marry for love.
-
-Oh the wonderful capacity they had in those days for torturing
-themselves! Larrie used to brood continually in secret over the change
-that had come into their lives; his manner grew cold and indifferent and
-he consumed as much tobacco as a man long years in the bush, and Dot
-used to shed hot, angry, grieving tears in private and devote herself
-to the management of the house or the baby in the time that once she
-had always devoted to her husband.
-
-Once in one of the passionate little outbursts she was subject to, she
-scoffed at him for his idleness.
-
-'No wonder you are so fault-finding, Larrie,' she said, 'staying at home
-day after day like an old maid. Other husbands don't tie themselves to
-their wives' apron-strings as you do.'
-
-It was a little unjust of her, this pettish speech, though she had
-received provocation.
-
-Larrie had had a bad illness, a kind of brain fever soon after his last
-law examination, and really had been ordered to take a long holiday.
-
-'You are a man of means,' the doctor had said. 'Travel about, loaf
-generally for a year or two, do anything you like, but avoid regular
-brain work.'
-
-As a first step to a thorough holiday he had married Dot, and as his
-means, divided, would not permit of travel, he settled down with an
-easy mind to 'loaf.'
-
-He used to ride, and fish, and shoot, walk, read, and work in the garden
-generally, but there were times when he had fits of superlative laziness
-and did absolutely nothing but lie in the hammocks and smoke, or wander
-about after Dot.
-
-At first this state of things had been very delightful and idyllic, but
-after eighteen months Dot found it very trying, and used to wish
-sincerely that Larrie went off to business in the morning like other men
-and stayed away till evening. She felt certain he would appreciate both
-herself and his home more if he did so, and, seeing he was apparently
-quite well and strong, there seemed no reason for him not to go.
-
-It was this feeling that had prompted the cutting speech about being
-tied to her apron, a garment by the way which she never wore on any
-occasion.
-
-Larrie was bitterly offended.
-
-'You are tired of me, it has come to that already,' he said, and there
-was such a note of pain in his voice that she had slipped her arm round
-his neck in her old impetuous way.
-
-'It was horrid of me,' she said, 'of course you have a right to stay at
-home always if you like. Forgive me, Larrie.'
-
-And he had forgiven her after a time, even kissed her kindly and told
-her not to mind.
-
-But the very next day he had taken an office in town and sent a man to
-paint 'Laurence Armitage, Solicitor,' in white letters on the door.
-
-All her entreaties now would not keep him at home a day, he caught the
-business train at eight o'clock in the morning and the evening one home
-at five.
-
-He was like everyone else's husband at last, and the garden of Eden had
-become merely a cottage with a piece of ground attached.
-
-But oh, such long, long days they were to both of them at first.
-
-Larrie, of course, had really nothing to do for weeks and weeks. He
-used to sit on his uncomfortable cane chair, put his long legs on the
-window-sill and smoke and think half the day. Or he would pin a 'Back in
-ten minutes' notice on his door and stroll aimlessly about town or drop
-into the offices of other men he knew, and envy them their busy air of
-occupation.
-
-Dot had never thought so many hours went to the day before.
-
-Baby slept a great deal, and just beginning to teethe, was cross and
-less companionable than usual. The household tasks that she took upon
-herself now did not last long, and the little mother did so much sewing
-for everyone in the cottage that there was really nothing left for Dot
-to do, but put on occasional buttons and tapes. She resolved to let her
-voice fill up the blank in her life, it was her one great gift, and she
-determined she would cultivate it assiduously and then--but she had not
-yet quite decided what difference the 'then' would make.
-
-The Red Road Country had a little plain church at the top of one of its
-hills, and Dot led the singing as a matter of course.
-
-Sometimes she took long solo parts in the anthems, and then the ugly
-barn-like place of worship seemed full of glory. Several times people
-had come all the way from the shore just to hear the clear, sweet,
-joyous voice of that one little person in the front row. She had been
-asked more than once to join the choir of different big churches in
-Sydney, but there was no train service at all on Sunday for the line,
-and Larrie naturally refused to have an empty house the greater part of
-the day just because his wife had a voice. Choir practices were on
-Wednesday afternoons, and Dot attended regularly now; for one thing they
-helped to pass the time, for another she had a genuine desire to have
-the singing each Sunday as good as possible, and knew her presence
-stimulated the other members.
-
-The Red Road Country is growing famous for its healthiness. People with
-land to sell in the district and the few boarding-house keepers,
-advertise it as 'The Sanatorium of New South Wales.' Doctors are
-beginning to send their patients there occasionally, instead of to the
-Blue Mountains, and the pure, gum-tree filtered air certainly works
-wonders.
-
-Mr Sullivan Wooster had been sent up for a month. He occupied a high
-position in the musical world of Sydney. He taught, conducted concerts,
-gave recitals of his own on organ and piano, and composed pieces that
-met with high praise in the old world. An attack of pleurisy had
-prostrated him recently, and he had come up to the Red Road Country
-for his convalescence, refusing to be sent to a more distant place.
-A Wednesday afternoon came a week after he had arrived. He was almost
-dying with the _ennui_ of the place; the abounding gum trees were
-beginning to prey upon his very soul. He had taken rooms at a cottage
-where the recommendations had been 'No children, beautiful views, and
-a piano.'
-
-But the daughter of the house had artistic yearnings that she longed to
-impart, a passion for waltzes, and a tousled fringe that Wooster was
-always dreading to find detachments of in his custards. The healthful
-Eucalypt on hill and dale comprised the view.
-
-Naturally he spent most of his time on the Red Road. When he heard
-voices in the little church that afternoon, he strolled to the door just
-for the urgent want of something to do. When he heard Dot's voice, he
-went in and sat down in the extreme back seat, much to the discomfiture
-of a nervous member of the choir.
-
-After the practice was over he shook hands with the clergyman's wife who
-had officiated at the little organ. He knew her very well; she had found
-these lodgings for him, and had sent him tomatoes on one occasion and
-some of her own orange wine, marvellously nasty stuff, on another.
-
-He asked after her husband, praised the views, thought the weather would
-change, said nothing bitter about the landlady's daughter, and offered
-to preside at the organ the next Sunday. Then he asked to be introduced
-to the girl with the beautiful voice.
-
-A quarter of an hour later he was walking home with Dot.
-
-Her books--she had three of them--were his excuse, and the fact that he
-had been walking that way before he turned in at the church. All the way
-they talked music.
-
-Dot's eyes were bright, her speech eager. What a pleasant, unlooked for
-change this was for her!
-
-She knew him well by repute, as indeed did everyone in Sydney--she had
-been to his concerts, she played his compositions,--some of her friends
-had been his pupils,--he seemed more like an old than a new friend by
-the time they reached the top of the second hill. Half way down they
-noticed the gathering clouds; by the time they reached the gate it had
-begun to rain heavily.
-
-Dot did not hesitate a moment. He had been ill she knew: a wetting might
-prove serious.
-
-'You must come in,' she said, pushing open her little gate, 'come and
-wait till it clears.' She preceded him up the path and sprang up the
-verandah steps into shelter, shaking the raindrops off her little short
-curls and laughing breathlessly after the few minutes' hurry.
-
-'What a _dear_ little girl!' he said to himself, following with the
-utmost gladness.
-
-He had never spent in all his life a pleasanter hour than the next one.
-
-His artistic eye was charmed with the arrangements of the simple
-drawing-room, it was a real pleasure to run his fingers upon a good
-piano once more--here was all the music that made the earth a happy
-abiding place, and above all there was the presence of the sweet little
-girl with short soft curls, wide, eager eyes, and a voice truly
-wonderful. Oh the beautiful hour it was!
-
-They had both gone straight to the piano as naturally as ducks go to
-water; they tried whole pages of different operas together, and went
-twice through some of the songs, just for the sheer pleasure of singing.
-
-Then he played some Beethoven she had never found beautiful before, and
-after that she played at his request piece after piece, and he was
-surprised at her culture.
-
-He almost feared once or twice that the whole occurrence was an
-enchanted dream which would fade presently.
-
-On his knees at the Canterbury drawer he found the score of _Faust_ bent
-open at the 'Jewel Song.' He held it up eagerly.
-
-'Let me hear you in this,' he said. 'You sing it?'
-
-Dot nodded joyously and opened it on the music holder as he took his
-seat.
-
-She gave a little cough to clear her throat. He stood up, real concern
-on his face, and closed the book instantly.
-
-'There is _nothing_ so culpable as over-tiring the voice; it was
-criminal of me to let you sing so much,' he said.
-
-There was a warm flush on her cheeks and her eyes were brilliant.
-
-'Let us have some tea then,' she said, with an excited little laugh.
-
-She crossed the room and rang the bell at the fireplace. Quite a
-professional look was on his face.
-
-'I do trust you take proper care of your voice, Miss Armitage,' was his
-really anxious remark.
-
-Dot's eyes flew open, then she laughed aloud just as Peggie appeared in
-the doorway.
-
-'Tea, please, Peggie, and baby--baby first,' was her order.
-
-Peggie departed, surprised displeasure on her face: she wondered who was
-the strange gentleman her mistress was on such good terms with, and she
-thought it most inconsiderate that she should want afternoon tea when
-there was so much ironing on hand. But she slipped a fresh muslin
-pinafore on the baby and put on his best little red shoes, before she
-carried him in to them all warm and flushed with his afternoon sleep.
-
-'I believe you thought I was only a girl, Mr Wooster,' Dot said with a
-merry laugh as she stood up with her beautiful darling in her arms for
-inspection.
-
-Mr Sullivan Wooster was certainly looking as thunderstruck as if the
-pretty bundle of muslin, and lace and sweetness she held had been a
-phoenix instead of the dearest little baby in the world.
-
-'I never dreamt,' he began. 'I quite thought--I certainly imagined Mrs
-Ingram said _Miss_ Armitage; as well--,' his eyes sought her little bare
-left hand.
-
-Dot laughed that happy little laugh of hers again. She went over to the
-Canterbury and emptied a small Dresden cup upon her palm.
-
-'I always take my rings off before I play,' she said, 'it's a pernicious
-habit, I know; my husband is always trying to break me of it, but I
-really do it unconsciously. I never can play properly with them on.'
-
-After that, of course, he paid dutiful, expected court to the baby, and
-made the correct remarks about its eyes and long eyelashes and the
-quantity of its hair. But he no longer thought the occurrence an
-enchanted dream that might fade any minute. The baby gnawing
-thoughtfully at its dear little shoe as it sat on the hearthrug, while
-Dot poured out tea, gave a surprising air of reality to everything.
-
-The rain had not ceased for a moment, so there was good enough excuse
-for Mr Wooster's prolonged stay, but Dot was greatly astonished to see
-Larrie come up the path presently, and know it was half-past five. She
-excused herself and slipped out to meet him. He came in cold, wet, and
-cross. It struck him how bright Dot's face was and how exceedingly
-beautiful she was looking as she opened the door for him.
-
-'I have a visitor here, Larrie,' she said in a whisper, 'be quick and
-get your mackintosh off. It is Mr Sullivan Wooster and he is so nice;
-don't stay to change your coat.'
-
-But 'Confound him!' said Larrie.
-
-He wanted Dot and Dot only just now. All the day he had had an
-unutterable longing to take her in his arms and beg her to let them
-start afresh, and make life a beautiful thing again. And now there was
-a visitor here.
-
-'You must ask him to stay for dinner, of course,' Dot said. 'He's had
-pleurisy and can't go home in the rain. It's lucky there's roast fowl
-to-day, and I'll open a bottle of those apricots.'
-
-Larrie was sulkily taking off his mackintosh as she talked.
-
-'What the deuce brought him here?' he said. Dot said 'H'sh,' and gave
-him a little poke to remind him of the proximity of the drawing-room.
-
-'I'll tell you after,' she said. 'I must go back now, I've left him
-alone with baby, and perhaps he's not educated up to them.'
-
-He went kitchenward to ask for dry boots, and Peggie was dishing up.
-The appetising smell reminded him he was too hungry to tell her to keep
-things in the oven on the chance of the visitor going. And as he went
-back again up the hall he saw the weather was too abominable to turn a
-dog out. But he said 'Confound it' under his breath outside the door, as
-necessary preparation to pressing Mr Sullivan Wooster to stay to
-dinner.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII
-
-A POCKET MADAME MELBA
-
- 'Out of the day and night
- A joy has taken flight.'
-
-
-Larrie had not yet taken Dot in his arms as he had intended that
-afternoon, and he had not asked her to begin afresh, so the result was
-still 'dead level.'
-
-But Dot was no longer unhappy. Every minute of her time was filled, and
-with a real object now in life, she felt she had been childish to waste
-so many hours in weeping and dwelling on imaginary differences in
-Larrie's manner.
-
-She began to teach herself Italian with the aid of several grammars,
-text books, dictionaries, and Mr Wooster.
-
-She practised the most uninteresting vocal exercises with unwearied
-patience, and her perpetual singing of scales made Peggie take to a
-permanently closed kitchen door and remark in confidence to baby that
-his crying was music to it.
-
-All this because Mr Wooster, musical critic and composer, had told her
-that if her voice was carefully cultivated and lost none of its
-wonderful purity and freshness in the process, he did not know any
-singer in Australia she would not surpass, that her fame would be equal
-in time to Melba's or any of the first singers of the day.
-
-She did not tell Larrie this new wonderful secret that made her heart
-sing even when her lips were silent. She wanted to keep it as a grand
-surprise to him, and in bursting out on an astonished world to amaze him
-also, and fill him with pride and gladness at her power. He was so used
-to her voice, had heard her chirping, and chirruping, and trilling ever
-since she was five, and though of course he loved it as he loved her, it
-had not occurred to him that she was extraordinarily gifted.
-
-Naturally he had heard praise and admiration and considered them only
-her due, but she had lived so quietly in this lonely Red Road country,
-both before and after her marriage, that she had never had the
-opportunity of hearing really competent criticism before. Even she
-herself had not dreamed her gift was so rich.
-
-Fond of singing she had always been, it came as naturally to her as
-speech; she knew she had the best voice in the district, but that was
-not saying much; and sometimes when she had been to concerts in Sydney
-it had struck her that she could render certain songs of the performers
-quite as well as they did, if not better.
-
-Mr Wooster's words had been as a flash of lightning illuminating all her
-future life. What dreams she had over the piano as she climbed to clear
-B's and wonderful birdlike upper C's! How proud Larrie would be of her,
-what fame should be hers, how they would travel with the wealth to
-come, and oh, what a brilliant, beautiful future baby's should be!
-
-She told Wooster that she wanted to keep the secret from her husband at
-present, and he smilingly acquiesced, so great was her happiness in it.
-In asking Larrie's permission to give a few lessons to his wife he only
-said, as twenty others had done before, that her voice was very good
-indeed and would be much improved by training.
-
-Larrie gave his consent half unwillingly; Dot's singing he considered
-was quite good enough for anything, _he_ was quite satisfied; but he
-saw it would seem churlish to refuse, and Dot would take it as a fresh
-instance of his 'tyranny,' so he allowed the lessons to begin.
-
-He was not half so happy as Dot in those days. Poor Larrie!
-
-It was very slow, unexciting work sitting in a twelve-foot-square office
-all day, waiting for clients who never came.
-
-He had the feelings of an exile, too, whenever he thought of the dear
-little cottage where the days had all been short and bright. It seemed
-as if Dot had banished him from the little kingdom because she was tired
-of him, and it was real torture to him to notice how light-hearted and
-happy she seemed without him, while he was more miserable than he had
-ever been in his life.
-
-Dot could persuade herself both into and out of anything she wished with
-happy feminine ease. But with Larrie it was different. He was
-long-headed and his reasoning was nearly always excellent, but when he
-had once planted an idea in that head of his, it almost required an
-earthquake to uproot it. That was what Dot stigmatised his 'aggravating
-obstinacy.'
-
-He had upbraided her more than once for having what he called 'moods,'
-not being always the same to him, having the odd little fits of coldness
-or petulance that most women have occasionally, and can never explain
-logically and satisfactorily. But Dot used to retort that if she was
-subject to moods, he had 'tenses' which were infinitely more
-objectionable.
-
-A matter that she would shed a few tears over and then dismiss, he would
-brood over until he worked himself up into a state of positive
-wretchedness.
-
-He really could not help himself, it was a certain kink in his nature
-that made him so, and the 'tenses' were times of misery both to himself
-and Dot.
-
-Once in the early days of the baby, he had taken up the notion that Dot
-cared for it far more than she did for him, she was so wrapped up in it,
-and would spare him so little time from it.
-
-He had grown absolutely jealous of the poor innocent little morsel, and
-so miserably unhappy, that it had needed a domestic cyclone and manifest
-neglect of the child before Dot could bring him to a healthy state of
-mind again.
-
-He loved his little sweet wife with a passionate fervour and
-devotedness, that only one man in a thousand is capable of.
-
-She was as necessary to him as the breath to his lungs, the blood to his
-heart. Had it been needful, he would have fought the whole world
-single-handed for her sake and never felt one of the scars.
-
-But the very strength of his love made it a little cruel sometimes, he
-demanded almost too much of her and she could not always understand or
-be patient with it.
-
-And now there was a cloud gathering on the domestic sky, and Dot with
-astonishing blindness thought it was a new, wonderful sun that was going
-to cast a warm, beautiful light over everything again.
-
-'Oh, what _will_ Larrie say?' she exclaimed in a fit of eager, childlike
-pleasure one afternoon when she had sung the 'Jewel Song,' in a way that
-even Wooster, carping critic as he was, could pronounce none other than
-perfect.
-
-He looked at her tenderly, he nearly always said '_dear_ little girl' to
-himself when she was like that.
-
-'I think he will say he could not be prouder of his wife than he is,'
-he answered. 'When shall you tell him?'
-
-'Oh, not yet,' Dot said. 'Not yet on any account, electric shocks are
-the salt of life. Imagine his face when I lay the programme before him,
-"The Jewel Song--Mrs--Lawrence--Armitage."' Her eyes sparkled, she gave
-one of her happy little laughs. '_How_ I wish the battery was ready!'
-
-Wooster was standing in the window looking absently out.
-
-He had a clear cut face, ascetic would describe it, only women novelists
-are credited with adoring that word. It was not the face of a musician
-at all, at least it had not the liquid dreaming eyes, and wide, massive,
-brow framed in wavy hair that we conjure up generally when we speak of a
-musician's face. It was monkish rather, the lips were clean shaved and
-somewhat severe, the hair very short and dark, and the eyes just now
-merely thoughtful. They were brown in colour, almost black on occasion,
-and had perhaps even more variety of expression than most people's
-eyes. In figure he was rather below the average height but he bore
-himself easily. 'I would rather you spoke to your husband, Mrs Armitage,
-before the programmes are printed,' he said, unconsciously making chords
-with his fingers on the window ledge. It had occurred to him that
-perhaps it was rather a bold step for his pupil to be contemplating a
-public appearance without her husband's knowledge.
-
-'Not for _any_ consideration,' Dot said with great decision. 'All I am
-living for is the programme surprise. He shall know two days before the
-concert, not a second sooner.'
-
-Wooster played a chromatic scale with his thumb and second finger till
-he found the dust on the ledge made them unclean. He pocketed them and
-turned round.
-
-'He may consider I am abusing my privileges in preparing to bring you
-out like this,' he said.
-
-But Dot cried, 'Nonsense,' with haste and impatience. 'It is the last
-thing he would think of,' she said; 'why, he will be delighted, of
-course. He does not dream he has a wife talented enough to sing in the
-Centennial Hall before a mighty audience of all musical Sydney.'
-
-'Then you really will not tell him?'
-
-'Is there a stronger word than "No?" One absolute and irrevocable? If
-there is, consider it said.'
-
-He laughed.
-
-'Suppose my nervous prudence makes me present him with the bagged cat.'
-
-'In that case,' said Dot, 'I should take my revenge in flat A's. Have
-you no regard for me?'
-
-He forgot the dust and played another slow scale.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII
-
-PICTURES IN THE FIRE
-
- 'A rain and a ruin of roses
- Over the red rose land.'
-
-
-May had come in wet and blustering. The gum trees waved wild mournful
-arms up to dull skies, the cottage garden was flowerless, green, and
-dripping. Even the creeping roses that bloomed eternally, hung crushed
-and wet or dropped their poor spoiled petals on the spongy paths.
-
-Three months ago the back paddock had been a place of delight for the
-eye, all tall waving lines of Indian corn grown for the fowls, there had
-been poppies amongst it, real scarlet English poppies that some one had
-sown, as well as the white and pink garden varieties. Dot had hidden
-there for fun one light evening with baby in her arms, and Larrie had
-sought her vainly for half an hour, it was so tall and thick. And when
-he had found her she had a wreath of poppies around her head, and baby
-was stuck all over with pink ones; the two had looked such darlings he
-had picked them both up in his arms and carried them all the way to the
-verandah hammock, and when he dropped them in, had said with breathless
-conviction,
-
- 'There are none like them, none.'
-
-To-day in the paddock there were only dead brown stalks and leaves,
-broken or bending before the rain. The poppy days were dead and the long
-light beautiful evenings, things of the vanished summer.
-
-Even the hammocks that had swung invitingly in the sunshine, lay in
-tangled heaps on the laundry shelf; the verandah was in a flood, and
-gusts of wind and rain blew into the house at every fresh opening of a
-door or window.
-
-There was an iron roof to the cottage, and had not Dot's enthusiasm been
-so great just now, the ceaseless, melancholy drip and beat of the rain
-upon it would have proved too monotonous an accompaniment to her songs.
-But in truth she hardly heard it. To-morrow she was going to tell
-Larrie.
-
-The morning post would bring her the programme, and two days later the
-great concert was to take place. She danced baby round the house in her
-excitement, such hard work it had been to keep her secret when there had
-been no other thought in her head for weeks.
-
-She painted a delightful little picture that to-morrow was going to
-frame.
-
-The background was the dining-room with the red curtains drawn, and a
-glowing log in the open fireplace; she put baby on the rug in his new
-pale blue frock with the short sleeves, and Larrie in the big easy chair
-with his feet on the fender and a pipe in his lips. And since in mental
-pictures the brush may depict thoughts, she drew him, thinking
-anxiously of his income which the sudden depreciation in the value of
-property all over the colony was just now affecting greatly.
-
-And then she was going to ask him to take her to the big concert at the
-Centennial Hall to show him the names on the programme in a careless
-way.
-
-And his face was to grow first amazed, and then bright with pride and
-gladness, and the rest of the evening they were to spend in making plans
-for the brilliant future.
-
-How delicious it was going to be! Her heart was throbbing with
-anticipation, her very blood seemed leaping in her veins.
-
-But baby objected to be jumped up and down in the ecstatic little way
-she was treating him to; he gave vigorous signs of annoyance, so she
-sank into her low chair, and rocked soothingly. But she could not keep
-silent when he said with such wise, round eyes that he knew everything
-about everything, and was as pleased as herself.
-
-'Bab-bab,' he began encouragingly, and hit at her with his dear little
-fists.
-
-And 'He should be a little prince, he should,' was her deliciously
-inconsequent answer, punctuated with kisses on his wee nose.
-
-'Bab-bab-bab'--he tried to walk excitedly up the front of her dress in
-a horizontal position, and then make gleeful clutches at her hair.
-
-But the short little curls slipped through his fingers, and he kept
-tumbling back in her lap, a little heap of cuddlesome sweetness.
-
-'Little son, small little sweet, mamma's boy bonnie,' she whispered
-again and again and again, her face in his neck or on his soft thick
-hair. That was her way of telling him that all the rest of their lives
-was going to be a bright golden dream, a triumphal march through the
-world, over a carpet of rose leaves and under a canopy of the bluest sky
-ever stretched out.
-
-The very way he rounded his eyes and stuck his fingers in her mouth to
-be bitten, and crowed 'bab-bab,' showed how perfectly he understood and
-approved.
-
-But presently he began to nod like a little heavy-headed rose, and she
-nestled him up close to her breast and sang softly, happily below her
-breath.
-
-Drip, drip on the roof fell the rain; splash, splash in the path-puddles
-where the blown roses were drowning; tap tap, at the misty window panes.
-
-There was a kink somewhere in the rocking-chair, it made a not unmusical
-little sound at each backward swing, marking time to Dot's low singing.
-Baby could not have slept properly without that gentle jerk between the
-rise and fall.
-
-The logs fell asunder.
-
-All Dot's enchanted castles were building in the red glow, now they rose
-up gloriously with the blaze, and the gladness in her eyes deepened.
-
-'Bab-a-bab,' murmured baby sleepily, a gleam of blue just peeping
-through the long lashes to discover the noise. But the soft singing bore
-him off again, and the rock, rock, rock of the chair.
-
- 'Sweet one hush, little baby sleep,
- Rock-a-by soft on my breast,
- Creep in my hand, little fingers, creep,
- Little dear baby, rest.'
-
-The lashes lay quiet again on the little cheeks, one small hand uncurled
-from Dot's finger, and lay open on her knee. Again the logs fell apart,
-again the castles grew glorious. Baby's hand curled up again, but the
-sweet lashes were too heavy to lift.
-
- 'This is the place for a baby's head,
- And this is the place for its feet,
- Rock-a-by off to the land of bed,
- Lull-a-by, hush small sweet.'
-
-A wild gust of wind flung itself at the cottage, every door and window
-rattled, the garden gate clicked and then banged.
-
- 'Lull-a-by, sweet,
- Rock-a-by, sleep,
- Heed not the rain and the wind, dear,
- Watch o'er her sweet
- Mother will keep,
- And up in the sky there is God, dear.'
-
-Some one opened the front door, and the sound of the rain grew louder,
-then the dining-room handle was turned. Dot gave a little whispered cry
-of surprise. 'Larrie!' she said, but so softly that baby's hand never
-stirred.
-
-It was hours before his usual time, and never before had he shortened
-his voluntarily imposed exile.
-
-She noticed how exceedingly wet he was, there was not a dry thread upon
-him, the water was even now pouring off him and making a pool on the
-floor. Then she saw the white passion on his face, the terrible look of
-his lips, his eyes. She laid the child down on the sofa cushions and
-went towards him slowly, and with fading colour. What dreadful thing was
-coming?
-
-'Larrie!' she said, a frightened tremble in her voice, as she put out
-her hands to touch him. But the anger in his eyes deepened. He went
-closer to her, he actually grasped her roughly by the shoulders and
-shook her.
-
-'How _dared_ you?' he said. 'How dared you?'
-
-She looked at him with parted lips and widening eyes. She could find
-nothing to say so intense was her amaze.
-
-'How dared you?' he repeated. He shook her again to hasten her answer.
-
-But she only said 'I think you're mad,' and caught her breath.
-
-He saw he was wetting the shoulders of her pretty pink tea-gown with his
-coat and took his hands away.
-
-The genuine surprise on her face disarmed him a little, it even occurred
-to him for the first time that he might have the inexpressible relief of
-finding he was mistaken.
-
-His eyes grew a shade quieter and he did not speak for a minute.
-
-In the brief interval wifely concern appeared on Dot's face. She put her
-hand on his wet sleeve and tried to move him towards the hall.
-
-'Come and get dry things,' she said, '_how_ wet you are!'
-
-But he would not stir.
-
-'I want to speak to you,' he said.
-
-'When you are dry,' urged Dot, 'it can wait three minutes.'
-
-He sat down on a chair.
-
-'Now,' he said.
-
-She sat down, too, just on the edge of the sofa by the sleeping child.
-She was concerned because a fly would hover round its face and distract
-her attention.
-
-'I went to Bayley's this morning to get some notepaper printed,' Larrie
-said, and paused. But Dot seemed to find nothing very remarkable in
-that, and looked merely attentive.
-
-'There was a proof of _that_ on the counter,' he continued, and threw a
-sheet of old English printing on pale green paper towards her.
-
-She started up, vexation on her face.
-
-'Oh _what_ a shame!' she cried. She read it through standing up, and the
-knowledge that all the colours were straightway rubbed out of her
-beautiful picture, made two curves of disappointment show at her mouth
-corners.
-
-'Then it _is_ your name?' said Larrie, and his voice sounded positively
-faint.
-
-Dot brightened a little. 'Of course it is,' she said, 'I wish you hadn't
-seen it though; I was dying to surprise you, Larrie.' Then she went up
-closer to him. 'Aren't you going to kiss your own pocket Madame Melba?'
-
-She felt how flat the scene had fallen even as she spoke, and was fit to
-cry at the disappointment. Then she remembered Larrie's anger a few
-minutes back, 'But what made you so cross?' she said.
-
-'How dare you do such a thing?' he said, his eyes beginning to blaze
-again, 'how dare you; this comes of letting that infernal fellow come to
-the house so much.'
-
-'You mean Mr Wooster?' Dot was beginning to fear for her husband's
-sanity.
-
-'It's his concert, you are singing at his instigation, you have kept it
-hidden from me.' His voice rose.
-
-'Of course I have,' Dot said. Then she spoke very slowly, 'Do you really
-mean to say, Larrie, that all this is because I am going to sing on
-Friday?'
-
-'Friday!' shouted Larrie, he had actually not seen the date, so absorbed
-had he been in the sight of his own name on that green paper, with Mrs
-prefixed.
-
-'Because I'm going to sing on Friday?' repeated Dot.
-
-With a superhuman effort he controlled himself; he knew the impotence of
-anger.
-
-'Tell me _everything_,' he said shortly, 'and stand there.'
-
-Dot was moving towards the sofa again. She came back to him to save time
-though the tone was provocative; she knew that he would have held her by
-sheer physical force if she refused while he was like this. Then she
-told him the very high opinion Mr Wooster had of her voice; how he felt
-confident she had but to be heard by competent critics to be assured of
-success, how he had arranged this concert to give her the opportunity
-and how she had been keeping the secret just to surprise him. He heard
-her to the end and acquitted her of concealing it for any unworthy
-motive.
-
-'But I should not dream of allowing you to appear in public,' he said,
-'so you can tell Wooster as soon as you like that he must fill your
-place.' He stood up as if the matter was settled, he even took off his
-hat and remarked that it was wet.
-
-But Dot had gone very white.
-
-'You mean to say, Larrie, that you would try to stop me now?' she said.
-
-'I mean to say I _shall_ stop you, there will be no trying about it,' he
-answered.
-
-His temper had not perfectly balanced itself again, and that together
-with the unpleasant dampness he was just beginning to feel, made his
-speech somewhat despotic.
-
-'Your reasons?' Dot's voice was quiet, dangerously so.
-
-'I do not care for my wife to sing in a public place like that, I don't
-approve of the way the thing has been managed, I don't like you having
-so much to do with that fellow, that is quite enough,' he moved to the
-door. 'Where's that old brown coat of mine, I hope you haven't given it
-away.'
-
-But Dot was sitting on the sofa again, fighting with herself far too
-fiercely to think of old brown coats, indeed, the question conveyed no
-intelligence to her at all. Out of twenty conflicting emotions,
-rebellion was by far the strongest. She said, 'I shall go, I shall go,'
-again and again and again in such stormy whispers, that baby stirred and
-tossed the linen antimacassar off his hands. Larrie had gone to get dry.
-
-'I shall go,' she repeated with strong emphasis on the last word.
-
-'Bab, bab, bab,' said baby softly. He yawned deliciously and flung up
-his arms.
-
-Dot gave him a hurried pat or two.
-
-'Go to sleep,' she said.
-
-'Googul,' he answered insinuatingly. He struggled into a sitting
-position and leaned towards her. But she lifted him on to her knee quite
-unresponsively. There was nothing in her mind but Larrie's command that
-meant death to her rose-coloured dreams. She hardly recognised baby's
-presence at all.
-
-'He is not my master,' she said aloud, her eyes full of rebellion.
-
-But 'Yes he is,' answered Larrie quietly, as he came in again through
-the second door.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX
-
-A CONFLICT OF WILLS
-
- 'What things wilt thou leave me,
- Now this thing is done?'
-
-
-Wednesday loosened itself from the other pearls and dropped off the
-string of days into the strange awful place where have fallen all the
-days that have ever been. Thursday slid along the thread, trembled and
-fell. Friday moved on to fill its place. Such a little time, and it too,
-and the things of it would be gone beyond recall for ever.
-
-Larrie had grown visibly thinner in the short space. He was staking all
-the happiness of his life on the issue of this. To him the thing was
-almost terrible in its plain simplicity. He had looked at it from every
-point of view, had reasoned it out and thought of nothing else, all
-through the two waking nights and the long day between. And he could
-only see two paths for Dot to walk in, one that was right and would lead
-to happiness once more, and one that was so utterly wrong that she would
-step into it not carelessly and unknowingly, but wilfully and with wide
-open eyes.
-
-It could only be love that would make her do another man's bidding
-rather than his.
-
-From that second path he told himself there could be no return.
-
-Dot went about with a feverish look in her eyes, and lips almost as set
-as Larrie's own. She was going to make this strike for her rights, and
-in future have the independence due to the nineteenth century married
-woman.
-
-Larrie spoke of the irrevocableness of the step. To him it was as grave
-as life and death. But deep in Dot's heart was the knowledge of her
-power over him. She called to mind all the quarrels of their wedded
-life--had he not always forgiven her? Even the times when he had not
-been the first to make up, her tears and grief had made his arms open
-for her immediately. She only whispered this to herself, it made her a
-little ashamed to think of trading on it.
-
-Then out loud she told her conscience several things.
-
-First, that this was only one of Larrie's aggravating fits of
-opposition, and when he got over it and knew what a name she had made
-for herself, he would be glad she had not taken him at his word.
-
-Second, that since her gift was so great, it would be wrong not to give
-the world the benefit of it, she remembered the scriptural
-napkin-wrapped talent.
-
-Third, that it would be sheer ingratitude after all Mr Wooster's
-trouble, to spoil his concert at the last minute.
-
-And fourth, that no one literally interpreted that word 'obey' in the
-marriage service, now that the equality of the sexes was recognised.
-
-It was merely a relic of darker ages when woman had been little more
-than a chattel; the progress of the century had made it elastic, before
-long it would be removed altogether.
-
-On Friday they had eggs for tea. At least, Peggie had put a stand on the
-table, with bread and butter, and other eatables, but they were both too
-agitated to do more than crack the tops, and take salt and pepper on the
-edge of their plates. This was to be the last chance. Peggie removed
-baby, and looked anxiously at the quiet young couple as she did so. She
-was afraid there was something really serious this time, so pale was her
-master's face, so brilliant Dot's eyes.
-
-'Well?' Larrie said heavily.
-
-'I'm going,' answered Dot. 'I've got my dress ready, and made all
-arrangements, it's too late to stop now.'
-
-Larrie swallowed some tea and went even whiter. This was the final
-wrecking of their lives. 'Dot, I _beg_ of you to think of it again,' he
-said.
-
-She slipped from her chair and went to his end of the table. 'Darling,
-let me go!' she said, 'see, I beg of you--you could give in and let me,
-and then it wouldn't be disobedience.' She put her arms round his neck,
-her flushed cheek against his, 'Dear old Larrie, do! I have set my heart
-on it so! do let me go happy, dearest, dearest!'
-
-If only at that minute she had said she would give it up, he could
-almost have let her go, greatly as he disliked the publicity for her,
-and the connection with Wooster. But he could not help mentally
-finishing her last sentence--'Or I shall have to go unhappy.'
-
-'I can't,--you must see I can't,--how can I, Dot? it is impossible,' he
-said. But she clung tighter.
-
-'Once you loved me too well to refuse me such a thing, my husband, don't
-let me think I am so little to you now.' He tried to put her away, but
-her arms held him.
-
-'Darling, let me,' she begged, 'let me, let me,'--the tears were running
-down her cheeks. 'I will be so good afterwards, oh this is everything to
-me, Larrie,--Larrie, don't be cruel to me, I must, must go--oh,
-darling, let me, let me.'
-
-He was making a promise to himself to be kept faithfully, since he saw
-how very much this was to her. If she would give in now, say she would
-give in as a true wife should to her husband, he would let her go, he
-would even take her himself, for it would prove she did not put that man
-before him.
-
-'Dot,' he said, and lifted her on to his knee and held her hands
-tenderly in his own, 'you must obey me in this, can't you see you must,
-my darling? Perhaps I have been harsh or unkind about it. Yesterday I
-_told_ you to obey me, now I _ask_ you, my darling, my little girl, Dot,
-little, little wife. Say you will.'
-
-But she only stirred restlessly.
-
-He put his face down to hers.
-
-'Darling, think of our happiness, how can we go on living if you persist
-in breaking up everything like this. There _must_ be a head, Dot, in
-everything, there must be obedience. What would a ship be without a
-captain, or soldiers without their chief, an office with no one in
-authority? And the husband _must_ be the head of the wife. Darling, say
-you will obey me in this.'
-
-But Dot could not. All her pleading had gone for nothing, why should she
-listen to Larrie's? She moved his arms away and stood up, her eyes dry
-and bright again.
-
-'You have refused me the only thing I have ever asked specially since we
-were married, Larrie,' she said.
-
-'You will stay?' he said.
-
-'You profess to love me, and then you act like a tyrant to me. Why
-should you always have _your_ way in things?'
-
-There was a red spot on her cheek.
-
-'You will obey me, Dot?'
-
-She walked restlessly up and down the room. She moved some ornaments on
-the mantelpiece and put the curtains straight with trembling fingers.
-She remembered she ought to be dressing even now. In two hours the
-concert would begin, and if she gave in her opportunity would be gone
-for ever, and just because Larrie was obstinate and stupid!
-
-Baby's ivory rattle, still wet from his mouth, lay on the sofa. She
-picked it up and put it in her work-basket. Then she altered the
-position of two photographs on the mantelpiece. She moved one of
-Larrie's silver cups--in it there was a green programme crumpled up into
-a ball.
-
-'Dot, you will obey me?'
-
-'No, I will _not_,' she said passionately. 'I am tired of being told to
-do things. I want a little liberty as well as you. I will _not_ spoil my
-future just because you want to be a petty czar.'
-
-She crossed to the door. A flame sprang up in Larrie's eyes.
-
-'You will be sorry to the end of your life if you go,' he said.
-
-'No, I shall be glad,' said Dot.
-
-Peggie came in to know if they wanted hot water, or if the master would
-have another egg. She was really too anxious to keep away.
-
-'I've got a nice brown one, laid to-day, sir,' she said persuasively.
-
-He shook his head impatiently. The woman looked over to Dot, standing
-with the door handle in her hand, 'Shall I fetch the baby for you?' she
-asked.
-
-'No,' said Dot sharply.
-
-So she went out to the kitchen again, and looked grave as she lifted
-baby from his high chair, where he was perfectly happy with a saucepan
-lid and a tin spoon.
-
-'_That_ obstreperous,' she said, and sighed. Then she added, 'poor man,'
-under her breath.
-
-Someway she generally sided with Larrie at such times, though she was
-devotedly fond of Dot.
-
-'I'm going to dress,' Dot said from the door.
-
-'How do you propose getting there?' He did not look at her as he spoke.
-
-She twisted the handle. 'Of course I had expected you would come. As it
-is I have sent word to mother, she is coming down in the buggy for me at
-seven. Mr Wooster is going there for dinner, he will drive. No, mother
-doesn't know; I only said you couldn't come.'
-
-Larrie got up and walked to the window; he could not answer her.
-
-She looked at his big square back for a minute and the short-clipped
-curls on his head. Then she turned and went away to dress. Only a thin
-partition separated her bedroom. He heard every sound as he stood in the
-window, the opening and shutting of drawers, the plashing of water, her
-hurrying steps across the floor, the creak of the wardrobe door. Every
-minute he thought she would repent and come in to him, his own sweet,
-small wife again; then the thought became a hope, and when the wardrobe
-creaked the hope died, and there was almost a prayer instead. But the
-door opened and she came in fully dressed.
-
-It was her wedding dress she wore, the white, trailing, exquisite silk
-she had knelt beside him in at the altar eighteen months ago. It was cut
-a little low now, and showed her white, soft neck and chest; her arms
-were bare between the shoulder puff and glove top.
-
-'Larrie,' she said with a little cry, 'oh, let me, Larrie!'
-
-But he stood still.
-
-'_That_ dress!' he said hoarsely.
-
-In very truth she had not thought of the associations of it as she had
-slipped it on to-night in excitement and anger.
-
-'You--you know I had it made into an evening dress,' she faltered.
-
-'But for this!'
-
-'I had nothing else to wear.'
-
-He turned from her one minute, then back again, and looked at her with
-wrathful eyes. He had a wild impulse to force her to stay, to compel her
-to obey him by the superiority of his physical strength. Was she not his
-wife, his property, did she not belong to him till death? He almost
-thought he would get a whip and beat her, beat her savagely. She would
-love him better he felt certain; he told himself there was more truth
-than half the world dreamt in the saying that wife-beaters, always
-provided they are neither drunk nor brutal, are best beloved by their
-wives.
-
-But he knew in a calmer mood he would despise himself for doing it, and
-he felt, too, how imperfect would be the victory.
-
-'You are going?' was all he said, and 'Yes,' she answered.
-
-Wheels sounded a little distance off, they both knew what it was.
-
-'As surely as you go, Dot, you will repent it.' Larrie spoke slowly,
-quietly, his face was deathly pale.
-
-She was trembling from excitement, there was a vague fear in her eyes.
-
-'What would you do?' she said with a little nervous half laugh.
-
-'I would never forgive you, never have you for my wife again,' he
-answered, and his face looked as if he meant it.
-
-She shivered a little, but held her head proudly. 'Perhaps you would be
-glad of the excuse,' she said, with a pitiful attempt at scorn.
-
-He did not speak. The buggy rattled up to the door, they heard
-Wooster's voice checking the horses, the mother's saying she would not
-get out as it was so late.
-
-'Why don't you go?' he said coldly, seeing she stood perfectly still.
-
-'I--' she said. It was the sound of a sob strangling in her throat.
-
-He would not help her though her eyes were speaking imploringly. If he
-had put his arms round her that minute and begged her as at tea to stay,
-even now she would have given it up. But he stood like a rock, his face
-hard, his chin square, his lips bitter.
-
-The bell rang, and Peggie's heel-down slippers went up the hall.
-
-Dot moved a step nearer to him.
-
-'_Ask_ me to stay, Larrie,' she whispered, and this time the sob would
-not be strangled.
-
-But he turned right away from her.
-
-'I would rather die than ask you again,' he said with passion in his
-voice.
-
-'Mr Wooster,' said Peggie cheerfully.
-
-She had quite beamed at the man when she opened the door, the quarrel
-would have to be smoothed over now a guest was here.
-
-But five minutes later Dot came out into the hall, her train a yard
-behind her, a great white fur-trimmed cloak around her.
-
-There was a beautiful angry colour in her cheeks, a defiant light in her
-eyes; but her lips were saying smiling things. Mr Wooster was behind
-with a roll of music and an opossum rug.
-
-Peggie watched them through the front door and down the steps, she saw
-Dot lifted in beside her mother and well tucked up; she watched the
-buggy lamps flash passing out of the gates and disappear round a curve
-in the road. Then with quite a weight at her kindly heart, she went in
-to see if the 'poor master' wanted anything. But he was standing in the
-middle of the room with folded arms, and such a look on his face, that
-she shut the door softly behind her, and went away.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X
-
-A DARN ON A DRESS
-
- 'Come in at last,
- Inside the melancholy little house
- We built to be so gay with.'
-
-
-It was raining again, and there was that sound of wind in the trees that
-only the Australian bush knows. Eastward, stars were out in the sky,
-but, from the south, blue-grey masses were drifting up to the low rain
-cloud that had put out all the lights of the southern cross, and only
-left the two pale pointers. An hour ago the sky had been blue, for there
-was a great moon, but now the rain had washed all the colour out of it,
-and it was dull grey with midnight cloud banks. On the cottage roof and
-in the garden there were patches of pale light from the drenched moon,
-but all the bush beyond was black as death.
-
-'Don't come in,' Dot said.
-
-She leaped down from her seat before Wooster could put down the reins to
-open the gate and drive in.
-
-'She'll get wet,' the mother cried.
-
-But the white figure went hurrying up the drive, all its long silken
-train down on the wet gravel.
-
-There was a lamp alight in the drawing room, and a circle of white from
-it lay on a pool at the end of the verandah. But the long French windows
-were closed. Dot beat on the window panes with wet fingers.
-
-'We may as well get home,' said the mother, seeing her safe. But Wooster
-only picked up the reins.
-
-'Larrie!' the sharp whisper came through the rain to the gate; the
-little metallic sound was made by her rings on the glass.
-
-Then the door opened and Larrie drew her into the room, the blind fell
-down from its pin at the movement, and now there was only a bar of
-light on the verandah.
-
-'It's very cold,' said the little mother with a shiver. And Wooster
-turned his eyes away and drove her home.
-
-Dot went forward almost blindly towards Larrie, but he moved backwards,
-and she took two more steps but he fell back again. The room was small
-and he was against the wall now, but he put his arms behind him and
-stood sideways; he knew she wanted to put her head on his breast and
-cry. The attitudes would have looked almost comic, only something
-prevented it.
-
-'I wasn't a success,' she said with a great sob.
-
-He did not speak or move a muscle.
-
-'Oh, I _am_ so miserable,' she said. Her arms went out towards the stiff
-figure, but he moved again.
-
-'Larrie!' she cried, exceeding longing and misery in her voice.
-
-But he let the cry die away into the midnight silence and he let her
-drop down on her knees by the sofa and sob her young heart out on the
-piled cushions. He had frozen altogether during the hours of waiting.
-
-Once she looked up during her bitter weeping.
-
-'You are hard,' she said, 'cruel--like a rock, what can I do? I was
-wrong, I am sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn't even succeed. I was too
-miserable, oh, how cruel you are! what _can_ I do? I will do anything,
-_anything_, oh, Larrie, Larrie, Larrie, don't be hard, when I'm down,
-Larrie, and broken, and sorry, and miserable--oh, it is cruel, cruel.'
-Her sobs choked her, there were wet warm patches on the green cushion,
-her eyes were drenched, she was shivering with excitement and misery.
-There was another great silence broken only by her passionate weeping.
-
-Then she lifted her head again.
-
-'I _can't_ bear it,' she said wildly, 'for God's sake, say something,
-I shall go mad if you stand there like that any longer. How unmanly you
-are!--oh, how cruel!--Larrie, kiss me. Oh, darling, darling, forgive
-me--my husband, my darling, kiss me, kiss me, _kiss_ me!'
-
-The last words died away with almost a wail, for though he looked at her
-all the time he did not move nearer to her and his eye took no softer
-light.
-
-Then she dropped her head on the cushions again, with her arms flung
-round them and he stood watching her, and away down in the East the
-stars went out, and the sickly creeping light was the new dawn.
-
-When Dot stood up she was stiff, and chilled to the bone. She was no
-longer sorry, all the aching for a loving word and kiss had gone, she
-was only very very tired and very cold. She looked at Larrie with eyes
-heavy and indifferent, if he had come and kissed her then she could not
-have responded or warmed in the slightest degree. She drew her wrap
-closer about her bare neck and arms and shivered again.
-
-'Well?' she said dully.
-
-But he went and brought a rug from the hall stand and put it around her
-before he answered.
-
-'I think you had better go to bed now,' he said, 'we can talk
-to-morrow.'
-
-'No, now,' she said.
-
-'It is very late,' he put back the blind and disclosed the grey
-struggling dawn. 'It is four o'clock, to-morrow will do.'
-
-But she sat down on the sofa where the green cushion was quite dry
-again.
-
-'If you have anything to say, say it now,' she said, 'it is too late for
-bed now, what is it you are going to do?'
-
-There was a curious look of suffering on his face and in his eyes.
-
-'I think I had better go away,' he said.
-
-Dot only stared at him.
-
-'There seems no other way, I have thought of everything; there is
-nothing else left.'
-
-'You mean separate?' she asked.
-
-He nodded. She bit her lip, but was surprised to find how easily she
-kept calm. She waited for him to continue.
-
-'You could stay here--it needn't be talked of, your mother would look
-after you. I'll go to Melbourne or Coolgardie or somewhere.'
-
-'For always, you mean?'
-
-'We could see, perhaps it would look differently afterwards--for the
-present I mean--we can't go on living together, and I can't see anything
-better to do.'
-
-Dot's eyes grew hard. 'If you go,' she said, 'I will never live with you
-again. But I don't ask you not to go.'
-
-'Yes, it is the best thing,' he said, which answered his own thoughts
-rather than fitted in with her words.
-
-She looked at him strangely. 'When were you thinking of going?'
-
-'To-morrow,' he said, 'to-day, rather. There is no use in delaying--I
-arranged everything to-night--last night.'
-
-'Very well,' Dot said, 'that is settled then.' She pulled the cloak up
-tightly and rose, then she loosened it again and sat down. Her eyes were
-cold, her lips very firm.
-
-'Remember,' she said 'this is final. I committed a fault--perhaps. I
-cannot do more than ask your forgiveness. Do not think I shall be put
-away and taken back at pleasure. Go--I would not put out my finger to
-keep you, but never again so long as both of us live will I be your wife
-in anything except name.'
-
-He sat down on the chair near the little writing table, the light was
-full on his white face and lips.
-
-'I can only see a little way,' he said. 'Later--say in some months--we
-will decide further: feelings change wonderfully, perhaps I shall look
-at your act--differently; if we live together I can't; it would always
-look the same. It is best, I can see. We _couldn't_ just go on living as
-before. I couldn't, at least, so I will go, for a time at any rate, and
-you--you will be glad to be alone I know.'
-
-'Yes, I shall be glad,' Dot said with great steadiness.
-
-Baby's portrait smiled at him from the stand on the table.
-
-'There is the child, of course,' he said heavily.
-
-Dot sprang up. Husband had been so far before child that she had
-forgotten there was any one else in the world. But she remembered now.
-
-'He is mine,' she said, 'mine, of course, there is no question about
-that. What are you thinking of? you can go if you like, but he is mine.'
-Her eyes glittered.
-
-He had known this would be the worst difficulty; him she gave up
-easily--gladly even, but the child she would fight for to the last.
-
-His anger came to white heat again.
-
-'_I_ shall keep the child,' he said slowly, 'he is mine equally, he will
-be better with me.'
-
-Dot laughed hysterically. 'The mother always keeps it in these cases. I
-believe you are going mad, Larrie.'
-
-'I believe I am,' he said very quietly.
-
-He pulled up the blind for want of anything else to do, and the dawn
-struggled in and took away the brightness of the lamp.
-
-It was only this minute he had really meant to keep the child, his first
-idea had been merely to go away and leave them, not altogether, perhaps
-as he said, but until he could find life bearable again.
-
-But when he saw how quickly she consented and how her only care was to
-keep the child, he told himself he would move heaven and hell before she
-had it.
-
-'I shall keep it,' he repeated, 'it is not a question of a mother's
-care, any nurse I get will know more about it than you do--I shall keep
-it. You have chosen your life, you can go on the stage altogether if you
-like, but I shall not let you have the child.'
-
-In all he said he would not degrade either of them by the mention of
-Wooster's name, but there was nothing else in his thoughts, and only
-everything else in the world in hers.
-
-A great weariness came to Dot, a weariness of all her present life. She
-dropped her chin on her hands, and stared out at the pale, creeping
-light. Her heart was quite cold, she did not seem to care about anything
-in the world. She looked at Larrie and away again. A tiny darn on her
-skirt caught her eye and she stared at it fixedly.
-
-It lifted all her tired thoughts back to the day it was made and pushed
-the present out of sight. It was her wedding morning, and she had put on
-the dress, she remembered she had said it was a 'holy' dress, it was so
-purely white and billowy and beautiful.
-
-And she had dressed very early, for Larrie had been unorthodox enough to
-want to see her before she came up the aisle to him. And when she saw
-him coming up the path, looking oddly uncomfortable in his tall new hat
-and frock coat, she had flown down the hall and into his arms. And at
-the same minute the gate had clicked to admit a string of relations
-eager to fall on the bride, and he had picked her up in his arms,
-sweeping train and veil and all, and whisked her upstairs on to the
-landing to have her to himself for the last few minutes before he had
-her for ever. The darn had been necessary, because in the quick passage
-up a fold had caught in a splinter in the bannisters, made by her
-travelling trunk.
-
-To-night she saw Larrie looking at the mud on the hem. She imagined
-herself without the darn, without the dress, without the wedding.
-
-It was eighteen months out of her life, that was all; all the wish she
-had on earth just now was to wipe out that time and be a girl again.
-
-She had tried marriage, and it had been a failure for them both; Larrie
-was right, the plan he offered was the best to be found; the vulgarity
-and misery of publicity she could not have borne, but there was no
-reason why they should not quietly set each other free, and go on their
-separate ways again.
-
-There was the child of course. She knew nothing about law and supposed
-Larrie had first right, since as she had often said to him the law
-always gave the man the best of everything. And cold, utterly tired and
-miserable as she was, she told herself she did not mind very much. She
-could not put away those eighteen months as if they had never been, if
-the child was always before her eyes to remind her of them. She
-promised herself she would go to Italy or Germany with her mother and
-give up her life to music, she had only failed through nervousness and
-misery last night, the future was full of glorious possibilities.
-
-Larrie was speaking again, there was a look of judicial fairness in his
-eyes.
-
-'Since we have both an equal right to him,' he said, 'we will draw lots
-if you like.'
-
-'Very well,' she said coldly.
-
-'Will you let me make you some coffee first, you will be taking cold,'
-he looked at her quite without anxiety. 'I can make up a fire in the
-kitchen in five minutes.'
-
-'No,' she said, 'get some paper. There are some backs of letters in the
-blotter.'
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI
-
-A QUESTION OF OWNERSHIP
-
- 'And laid her face between her hands
- And wept (I heard her tears).'
-
-
-'See, they are ready,' Larrie said. He had folded the slips of paper up
-into two little square pieces. 'Will you draw or shall I?'
-
-'What have you put on them?' Dot asked.
-
-'L and D,' he said.
-
-'You could have put baby on one and left the other blank,' she said,
-'and then I could have drawn one and left the other.' She gained half
-a minute by the statement.
-
-'It comes to the same,' he said, and held them out to her on the
-Japanese pen tray.
-
-But she looked at the little pieces as if they had been dynamite; a
-faint colour stole up into her cheeks, her eyes dilated.
-
-'Draw,' he said.
-
-She put out her hand and drew it back again trembling like a leaf and
-empty.
-
-'Wait a minute,' she said with a little gasp. She covered her eyes for
-a second, then, suspiciously, 'how do I know you have not marked one so
-you may know it?'
-
-'If you draw it will make no difference,' he answered patiently.
-
-She put out her hand again and touched them, first one and then the
-other.
-
-'I _know_ I shall draw the wrong one,' she said in a choking voice, she
-turned them over and examined them with pitiful criticism.
-
-'What did you make this one narrower than the other for?'
-
-'Is it?' he said and looked.
-
-His hand was not trembling at all, but in his heart there was a great
-aching for his little son.
-
-'I think I had better draw and have done with it.'
-
-The quick movement of her hand again showed her trust in him was not all
-it might have been--her fingers closed and unclosed round the wider
-piece. Her cheeks were burning, her breath coming in little quick pants.
-
-'Get it over, Dot,' he said very gently.
-
-She shut her eyes, her hand groped forward, her face grew very white.
-Then she unclosed her fingers and showed both little slips lying in her
-palm.
-
-'I _won't_ do it that way,' she said with sudden passion, 'as if he were
-a cushion in a bazaar, or a lottery ticket. You ought to be ashamed of
-yourself, Larrie.' She tore the paper into a hundred fragments and
-looked at him with wide, angry eyes.
-
-'But how shall we decide?' he said heavily. He put the little tray back
-on the table and mechanically replaced the pens and paper knife, the
-darning needle and broken bit of coral he had emptied from it a few
-minutes ago.
-
-'He shall decide himself,' she said. She got up and went towards the
-door. 'Write two more pieces of paper, and he shall draw.'
-
-Larrie wrote L and D again with a heavy J nib, and again folded them up;
-then he followed his wife.
-
-She was standing by the cot in an inner room looking down at the little
-sleep-flushed face. One little curled up hand was flung out on the
-counterpane, the other, with a thumb still wet, was drooped just below
-his chin. Damp little rings of hair lay on his forehead, his lips were
-apart, his long eyelashes motionless. Larrie came in on tip-toe.
-
-'You can't wake him,' he said in a low voice.
-
-She shook her head, there was almost a fierce look in her eyes.
-
-'What will you do then?' he asked. And 'Wait,' she returned.
-
-He brought a wicker chair to the bedside for her, a stiff-backed one for
-himself.
-
-They sat and watched in utter silence till the sun kissed the grey dawn
-white. Then the child stirred, flung off the blanket, sighed--and slept
-again. Dot had gone pale as death, and even Larrie's heart had beaten
-faster. But they composed themselves again, and watched without
-speaking. And blue was born in the sky, and the white tossed itself into
-cloud shapes that a wind drove over the sky to the west. Away at the
-back a gate banged, there was a sound of the contact of a tin and milk
-jug on the verandah. Then the gate fell to again.
-
-Baby uncurled his hands, sighed and changed his cuddled-up side position
-for one flat on his back. Then he opened his eyes.
-
-'Are you ready?' Larrie said in rather a thick voice.
-
-But Dot looked at him indignantly. 'Wait till he is awake and knows what
-he is doing,' she said.
-
-He was laughing up at them, holding up his arms. There was some soft fur
-at his mother's neck that he was convinced would be good to eat, he had
-a desire also to pull the crisp curls on his father's head.
-
-'Goo--goo--goo,' he said, with an impatient kick and an adorable smile.
-
-How white Dot was! How Larrie's hand trembled as he picked up the tray!
-
-'He is awake now,' he said in a low voice.
-
-'Let them be quite even,' Dot returned, with an agitated look, 'of
-course he will take the nearest one.'
-
-Larrie arranged them with mathematical precision, then put the tray near
-the little baby hands. For one wild second, Dot looked away, she could
-not have watched, then a low, mirthless laugh from Larrie recalled her
-eyes.
-
-The child had taken the two without a moment's hesitation, and stuffed
-them instantly into his little open hungry mouth.
-
-The diversion occupied some little time for both knew that paper was bad
-for infantile digestion, but the touch of humour about it did not strike
-either, or divert them from the tragedy they were bent upon.
-
-'How _are_ we to settle it?' Larrie said wearily.
-
-Dot lifted the child suddenly up on the pillow,--there was a look of
-resolution in her eyes.
-
-'We will both hold out our arms,' she said, 'whomever he goes to shall
-have him; it is the fairest way.'
-
-They bent down to the little fellow, father and mother, with faces that
-would whiten, and arms that trembled despite themselves.
-
-'Come,' they both said.
-
-One little roseleaf hand buried itself in Larrie's curls, one clutched
-the fur at Dot's neck.
-
-'Come,' they said again, and this time there was a desperate look in
-Dot's eyes.
-
-He looked gravely from one to the other and loosened his hold of their
-separate persons. There was a thoughtful expression in his eyes though
-his lips smiled. He half turned to Dot, and the intense look of her
-mouth relaxed faintly. But then suddenly he stretched out his arms and
-with a rapturous little leap flung himself at Larrie.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII
-
-A LITTLE DIPLOMAT
-
- 'Alas to be as we have been,
- And to be as we are to-day.'
-
-
-For a few days life was a confused tangle; then to prevent themselves
-going mad, each assiduously tried to pick out the beginning of a new
-thread to follow.
-
-Dot was up at the house, she had the little sitting-room and bedroom of
-her girlhood again, and she had sent to Sydney for a parcel of new
-music.
-
-Strange wisdom came to the little anxious mother. That it was really a
-serious quarrel this time she could not help acknowledging, and at first
-could hardly restrain herself from flying down to the cottage and
-upbraiding Larrie vigorously. But then again she knew her child had
-been to blame as well, and felt that interference just at the present
-stage of things would work harm. A little time apart she told herself,
-would do them both good, so she remained strictly neutral, and though
-her heart ached sometimes at the sight of Dot's unhappy eyes and
-carefully smiling lips, she made no obvious attempt to bring about a
-reconciliation. She did not even throw cold water upon Dot's wild plans
-that embraced an instantaneous sale of the house and a voyage to Italy.
-
-Dot had all the trunks and portmanteaus in the house carried into her
-bedroom, and began to pack her own and her mother's favourite
-possessions into them.
-
-'This might be useful on board,' she would say, putting in a huge
-workbasket or writing desk, or 'You would miss this, even in Italy,'
-taking down an old print of the Madonna and Child that had hung in her
-mother's bedroom as long as she could remember.
-
-The family solicitor was visited. Dot was to come in to about £3000 by
-the terms of her father's will when she was twenty-one. She arranged for
-a sufficient advance of it to take her mother and herself to Italy.
-
-'You will like to go, of course,' she said to her mother, 'you are
-losing your spirits staying in this wretched place year after year.
-Travel is just what you need, isn't it now, small woman?'
-
-The mother acquiesced; she would like the voyage very much, but she
-could not be ready quite as soon as Dot wished. She must have six weeks
-at least to settle about the house and different business matters.
-
-Dot chafed at the delay, she had wanted to take passages in a boat that
-went the very next week, and to leave any arrangements to the solicitor,
-but the mother for once held her own.
-
-The cottage was to be let, but until a tenant was found, Larrie was
-compelled to stay there with the baby and Peggie who had thrown in her
-fortunes with the child, and regarded her master and mistress as being
-for the time of unsound mind. She treated Larrie with cold severity,
-and no words could express the scorn she felt for the absent Dot. But on
-the baby, she lavished all the tenderness of her nature, and told it
-half-a-dozen times a day that it was a poor deserted lamb, and if she
-was the law she would handcuff 'them two' so fast together they could
-not move apart the rest of their lives.
-
-The third day of Dot's residence at the house, Mr Wooster came. He had
-called at the cottage, but Peggie had informed him her mistress was up
-at the house. So he turned his steps uphill. Dot talked a great deal and
-seemed in an excited mood, but he had no suspicion of the real state of
-affairs, and merely thought she was spending the afternoon at her
-mother's.
-
-But he was staying in the district again for his health, and when he
-came the next evening with a promised book for the little mother, she
-was there again.
-
-She was sitting at a table with a quantity of paper books and maps
-spread out before her.
-
-'I am deciding which way to go home,' she said, in answer to his
-questioning glance, 'you have often said I ought to study in Italy.'
-
-He thought she was doing it for a pleasant mental recreation and only
-smiled.
-
-'We go in about a month. Did not mother tell you?' she said, and
-followed up a dotted line through the Red Sea with a careful pen.
-
-He looked the surprise he felt. So friendly had he become with Dot and
-the little mother, that he felt quite hurt to be so tardily informed.
-
-'Mr Armitage is fortunate to be able to get away,' was all he said and
-there was a little stiffness in his voice.
-
-Dot went slowly overland from Brindisi to Calais, then she looked up.
-
-'No, he is not fortunate,' she said, 'for he cannot get away at all. I
-am going alone--at least, mother and I are going.'
-
-'And your little boy of course?'
-
-Dot yawned with discernible difficulty.
-
-'Oh,' she said lightly, 'children block the road to success, besides I
-must leave him as compensation to my husband while I hunt for fame.'
-
-He was too amazed to speak. Larrie had struck him as certainly the one
-other man in the world capable of fully appreciating the worshipfulness
-of this dear little girl. And to hear he was content to part with her
-like this after only eighteen months!
-
-He felt a sudden contempt for Larrie and an overwhelming sorrow for
-himself; what a very sweet little child she was with those soft flushed
-cheeks and wide darkening eyes! And to think there was a lifetime of
-hunger for one man because he could never touch one of those soft,
-boyish curls, and the other who had all of her, held her so lightly.
-
-'I suppose you think it is a mad quest after my failure,' she said,
-finding him silent.
-
-But he disclaimed that. He was as assured of her ultimate success as
-ever, and knew that it was only through nervousness that she had failed
-to win immediate recognition. As it was, several of the best critics
-had spoken of her hopefully.
-
-'No, you will succeed of course,' he said, quietly. He did not look at
-her, he was thinking, wondering whether he should be able to do without
-travelling too when Australia no longer held her.
-
-Then he wished hair shirts were sold by modern mercers, and thanked God
-she was going. He talked cheerfully of the route, advised the best
-places for study, the best masters, offered letters of introduction, and
-all manner of things.
-
-The talk stimulated Dot, her eyes and cheeks grew bright; two hours ago
-the ache at her heart had been intolerable, but the thought of Italy and
-music was easing it greatly.
-
-From her corner, her needle in a wee muslin pinafore, the little mother
-looked at them with troubled brows. This kind of thing was inimical to
-the baby, to Larrie, to all of them, she almost wished her little girl
-had been born without music in her soul. Then something made her catch
-her breath and pale suddenly under the brown of her skin. She had seen
-and interpreted the look of strange wistfulness in Sullivan Wooster's
-eyes, and it made her heart grow cold. Dot looking up from her plans met
-his earnest gaze, and for some inexplicable reason blushed; the little
-mother in the corner said 'God' below her breath--she was not a woman of
-strong expressions, but her thoughts had leapt to terrible
-possibilities.
-
-When Wooster rose to go, she went downstairs with him; they had been all
-the evening in Dot's little sitting room.
-
-'You want me?' he said half way down the hall, for her large eyes were
-speaking. They went into the drawing-room and he waited for her to
-speak, hat in hand.
-
-'I do not think this place is good for you,' she said gently.
-
-He looked down at the little fragile woman, her worn, lined face and
-great sad eyes were infinitely beautiful to him.
-
-'No place ever agreed with me better,' he said, puzzled.
-
-Her lips grew severe.
-
-'It does not agree with you,' she said very quietly.
-
-Then he understood what the anxious eyes were saying, and was
-inexpressibly shocked that she should have guessed what he hardly
-allowed himself to know. For a moment he could find no words, he stood
-before her with bent head and paling face, then he looked up and saw
-grief and tenderness were in her face as well as anxiety. Terrible
-though the thing was, the little brown faced woman whom the waves of
-life had so buffeted, was sorry for him, her eyes grew humid, she put
-out her thin, tiny hand.
-
-'It is not good for you,' she repeated very softly.
-
-He lifted the hand to his lips and kissed it reverently.
-
-'No,' he said, 'it is not good for me. I will go.'
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII
-
-DOT GOES BABY-LIFTING
-
- 'Me do you leave aghast
- With the memories we amassed?'
-
-
-Dot had picked up a book in morocco covers. It was lying on the sitting
-room table with a dozen others and she took it at random. The little
-mother was persisting in bringing the conversation round to the baby
-this evening, for the new fear in her heart would not allow her to let
-things take their own course any longer. She dwelt on his hair, the
-funny little habit he had of drawing in his lips, the dimple that dented
-one little cheek just below the left eye.
-
-So Dot took up a book to show she was too much occupied for
-conversation, but her lips were trembling. They had hitherto eschewed
-this subject entirely.
-
-The book might easily have been any of the twelve others, but it
-happened to be Browning. She turned over the leaves, then, as that
-mechanical action did not quieten the little mother, she was forced to
-read.
-
-And the very words Larrie had marked for her once quite years ago when
-they had only been engaged and used to play at quarreling! It was a
-finger nail mark and ran along one whole verse.
-
- 'Love, if you knew the light
- That your soul casts in my sight,
- How I look to you
- For the good and true.
- And the beauteous and the right,
- Bear with a moment's spite
- When a mere mote threats the white.'
-
-A great tear splashed down upon it. Dot wiped it off with a hasty hand,
-she was angry because the coldness and bitterness around her heart were
-melting. But two more fell, and two again, a host of little sweet
-recollections of their married and unmarried life came thronging
-unbidden. How could she bear life if on every hand episodes of the dead
-days were going to rise up in this way?
-
-Dear tender eyes watched her from the corner.
-
-'He looked ill, my darling,--as if he had not slept or eaten for a
-week,--I saw him at the station--' the soft voice paused for a minute.
-
-'It is nothing to me,' was the cold, piteous answer.
-
-'He hadn't his obstinate look at all,--when he saw me he looked suddenly
-as if he was going to cry, then he turned round and walked up the road
-again quickly.'
-
-Dot saw his face, the quick softening of his mouth and eyes. She could
-hear his very footsteps going away.
-
-'I shall never forgive him while I live,' she said, but she had crept
-round to the chair in the dim corner and was feeling for her mother's
-arms.
-
-They drew her down, down,--two women were rocking and crying just out of
-the reach of the lamplight.
-
-Half an hour later they were hurrying down the hill to the cottage.
-Dot's eyes were tender, the great peace of forgiving was in her heart;
-she was going to her husband, the one man in the world who was all her
-own and God-given,--between them what question could there be of pride?
-
-Two hundred yards from the gate she stopped, there was a fallen tree
-worn smooth with years of sitting upon.
-
-'Wait here, little mother,' she said; 'let me go alone. Then we will
-come back and fetch you.'
-
-She pressed on by herself, a tender smile parted her lips. Larrie thin
-and sleepless! Larrie aching for the touch of her hand--Larrie whose
-love was so desperate he could not help being cruel!
-
-She crushed herself through the broken palings at the bottom of the bush
-paddock, then she crept along in the shadow of the trees, up through
-the garden till voices floated down to her and stopped her. Laughter
-came from the verandah and smoke, and there were two decanters on a
-little table, with a flickering lamp.
-
-Larrie was entertaining two bachelor friends and was holding a pipe with
-one side of his mouth, and with the other telling a late witticism of a
-Supreme Court judge. The men had come up about taking the cottage, and
-almost suspected a domestic crisis; Larrie's forced spirits deceived no
-one but Dot in the shadow of the pepper trees.
-
-She felt frozen with shame and horror. This was the man she would have
-humbled herself for! She turned to go back in silence the way she had
-come. But on the verandah there was a sudden movement; someone had
-discovered it was half-past eight, and being a Thursday evening the last
-train went down in eight minutes. They had their hats and sticks in ten
-seconds, and were halfway down the path. Larrie went with them.
-
-'I'll see you safe in,' he said, 'we'll have to run for it.' His shadow
-fell at Dot's feet, then raced him down the road leading to the station.
-
-Dot breathed freely once more, then with steady steps she went up the
-path and round the verandah to Peggie's window.
-
-The woman was on her knees by the bedside, reading the _Bulletin_ by
-candlelight. She always abstracted it from the dining-room on Thursdays,
-the moment Larrie laid it down, for she had a strange passion for
-political caricatures, though to her knowledge she had never seen a
-Member of Parliament in her life. To-night she was convulsed over a
-minister of the crown portrayed in an eye-glass and ballet skirts.
-
-Dot crept in through the back door and went on tiptoe down the hall to
-the second room there. She made a warm bundle of the baby with the cot
-blankets and a New Zealand rug, then she went out into the hall again,
-holding it close to her happy breast. Larrie had left the front door
-just ajar, so she stole out noiselessly and walked down the path to the
-gate.
-
-The next minute she was fleeing up the road again to her mother, the
-burden in her arms the lightest thing in the world.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV
-
-THE WHEEL IN THE BRAIN
-
- 'Mine, mine--not yours,
- It is not yours but mine,--give me the child'
-
-
-It was half-an-hour before Larrie came back and found the tossed, empty
-cot. He strode out of the house again, and up the hill in a fury of
-passion.
-
-Out of the train into which he had seen his friends, Wooster had stepped
-and gone at quick speed, straight up the road leading to the house.
-Larrie was not to know it was intended for the last visit of a lifetime.
-He resisted the inclination to follow and slay him outright, and went
-home instead--to find Dot had been there and taken away the child.
-
-A second jealousy sprang up in his heart, jealousy of his own little
-baby son. He could imagine the pass to which Dot had come, imagine the
-heart hungerness that had prompted this. But it was all for the
-child--none of the aching and longing had been for himself. The front
-door of the house was open, he went straight through the hall and
-upstairs two steps at a time to the sitting-room.
-
-Dot was sitting rocking alone in the firelight; the little mother had
-gone to a sudden case of illness in a cottage near, and Wooster had
-taken her.
-
-The child's little soft head lay against her breast, she held both its
-bare little feet in her hand. There were tear-wet places on her cheeks,
-and the eyes that looked down on the child were full of tenderness, but
-her lips were rather tightly closed. She could not forget the verandah,
-and Larrie's burst of laughter.
-
-He strode across the room.
-
-'Give me the child,' he said.
-
-Her arms closed tightly round it.
-
-'He is mine, mine,' she said.
-
-'Give him to me,' he cried again.
-
-She sprang to the door her eyes gleaming, her hands holding the little
-soft body with desperate firmness. But he was before her, he looked down
-at her with white face, and eyes blazing with scorn.
-
-'You are not fit to hold him,' he said.
-
-She was moving across to the second door clasping her burden
-convulsively.
-
-'I will die before you shall have him,' she said passionately.
-
-'No you will not,' he said.
-
-His words came slowly, there was a horrible note in his voice, 'There
-is--your lover, you know.'
-
-She turned and looked at him, incredulous horror in her wide eyes, her
-arms loosened their hold a little, she went a step towards him. But the
-light of madness in his eyes increased, he tore the child from her arms,
-and carried it away with him out into the night.
-
- * * * * *
-
-He went slowly down the hill he had come up in such wild haste. He had
-not felt the night wind before, but now it blew chillily on his burning
-forehead and quietened the fever in his blood. He took off his coat and
-wrapped it round the child, which lay warm and sleepy and quiet against
-his shoulder all the way.
-
-There had seemed to be a strange wheel working in his brain lately, it
-had gone at a maddening rate during his short interview with Dot. But
-something in the great hush of the grey-blue night stopped it for a time
-and a sudden calmness and power of reasoning came to him once more.
-
-When he reached the cottage he put the child down again in the cot and
-covered it up warmly. Then he walked about staring at his misery. He
-knew it had grown utterly past bearing. Everything in the place spoke of
-Dot, spoke loudly and insistently, the silent piano, the dead flowers in
-the vases, the foolish little red watering pot on the verandah nail, the
-small garden boots in the hall corner with the red clay of the roads
-dried on the heels. When he poured out his coffee at breakfast time he
-shuddered because he saw beside him the little dear bright face that was
-not there--when he helped himself to an egg he could not eat it, because
-the stand held only two, instead of the by custom sacred three.
-
-That was the warm old jacket on the second hall peg that she always
-slipped on, to sit outside with him for his smoke, the big poppy trimmed
-hat beside it, still kept the shape of her head in its crown. He could
-not get away from it all. His eyes too refused to give up the picture of
-her they had seen to-night, the tender innocent face, the pure eyes, the
-trembling lips. Half-past ten brought the very end of his endurance, his
-bitterness and his unbelief.
-
-It had taken all these six days for his brain to grow clear and healthy
-again; with the lifting of the strange cloud came the sudden horror of
-the thing he had done, a shame at the shame he had heaped on her. He
-found responsibilities that were his, he remembered the tenderness and
-watchfulness and love which her eighteen years demanded, he saw with
-lightning clearness that it had been sheer insanity that had distorted a
-simple friendship and shamed them both.
-
-He took up his hat to go out again. He would go and beseech her
-forgiveness though he told himself of course, she could not possibly
-give it. Still he would entreat her.
-
-Then the strange wheel began again in his head, and as he walked a new
-hot swinging sensation there, made him almost unconscious of what was
-going on for minutes together. He took off his hat and went on blindly,
-there were two shrinking figures in the shadow by the fence but he did
-not heed them.
-
-He knew quite well now what was going to happen to him, he was getting
-that same brain fever again, he had had two years ago; it accounted for
-everything.
-
-He found a strange comfort in the knowledge. He was going to Dot--by the
-time he got to the lights and voices of the house he knew his senses
-would have gone and his illness come upon him, his danger would touch
-her little tender heart and she would forgive. He even saw a vision of
-his convalescence and white beautiful days beyond.
-
-Then he came to the lights and people of the house, and before the
-little mother could speak a word, the danger came upon him and the need
-of forgiveness.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV
-
-SULLIVAN WOOSTER, GENTLEMAN
-
- 'Feel where my life broke off from thine
- How fresh the splinters keep, and fine,
- Only a touch and we combine.'
-
-
-Dot felt the emptiness of her arms. Then she remembered the bitterness
-and horror of her humiliation.
-
-To nearly all human beings there come during the course of life some
-moments of complete madness and irresponsibility--Dot's came upon her
-now.
-
-She was on her knees by the window; sometimes she beat her head against
-the wood-work--wild tears were coursing down her cheeks, sobs of
-impotent anger choked her.
-
-Wooster came up the staircase alone, the little mother had sent him to
-say good-bye, and to tell Dot she could not leave the sick woman for an
-hour. The sitting room door was open.
-
-'Great heavens!' he said, and sprang to her side in alarm, 'you are
-ill--God!--what is the matter with you?'
-
-Her sobs ceased, she turned her head and regarded him strangely, her
-eyes wet and brilliant seemed to pierce him. Then she laughed the most
-terrible little laugh in the world. 'Why, you do love me after all!' she
-said.
-
-He fell back against the wall, utterly undone, his eyes seemed the only
-living part of him.
-
-'I didn't believe him,' she continued in the same tone.
-
-'Who?' his lips said, after a long pause.
-
-'Larrie.'
-
-'My God!' he cried.
-
-He could hardly breathe, the figure kneeling by the window was only a
-confused blur to him.
-
-The choking sobs began again.
-
-He walked up and down, wildly.
-
-'Where is your child?' he said, stopping at the end of the room.
-
-She sobbed, and laughed and choked.
-
-'He took it, he has taken everything, and isn't it queer, I don't care
-in the very least?'
-
-He stayed at the end of the room, the table and several chairs between
-them.
-
-'He thinks I love you?' he said.
-
-'Oh yes.'
-
-She began to beat her head again.
-
-'Stop--how can you--for God's sake, stop!' he was at her side, trying to
-draw her from the cruel wood.
-
-'I believe you love me as much as he did at first,' she said--he was
-offering her a handkerchief for the little bleeding wound on her head,
-and had to look at her--'Don't you?'
-
-'My God, _no_,' he burst out, 'what are you dreaming of?'
-
-'Oh, but you do,' she cried, and laughed again.
-
-He had moved her from the wall and she could not beat her head. She got
-up from her knees, and went nearer to him.
-
-'I wish you would take me away,' she said.
-
-'Remember you have a husband,' he answered, very coldly.
-
-There was a scarlet colour on her cheeks, a very fire in her eyes.
-
-'No, I have not, he has cast me off, I have no one, no one, oh, you
-_might_ take me away,' her voice broke into a cry.
-
-'Where?' he said, and trembled violently.
-
-'Anywhere, _anywhere_, just so I can never, never see him again as long
-as I live.'
-
-He moved towards her, all his strength had gone, he was shaking like a
-leaf. A minute ago he had been one of the best men on God's earth. Now,
-the suddenness and awfulness of the temptation swept everything away for
-the time but overmastering love for this woman. He put out his hand.
-
-'Come,' he whispered.
-
-Two minutes later they were fleeing together down the long Red Road that
-Larrie was coming up.
-
-They passed him half way, he was carrying his hat, and going straight
-forward, not looking to right or left.
-
-The meeting only added fuel to Dot's fire.
-
-'Hurry,' she cried, pressing on breathlessly, 'hurry.'
-
-When they neared the cottage she was limping wretchedly. He stopped
-suddenly and looked down at her little house shoes.
-
-'The heel has come off,' she said dismayedly.
-
-It was really a catastrophe, for they were to have gone two miles
-further, and then tried to get a conveyance of some sort.
-
-'Perhaps I could walk without them,' she said, and slipped one off, 'Oh,
-do come on.'
-
-There was a light burning in the dining-room window of the cottage.
-
-'Couldn't you go in and get a pair?' he asked, but she shuddered and
-shook her head.
-
-'I am afraid,' she said--'of Peggie.'
-
-'Sit down here then,' he said, and found her a seat on some piled wood
-by the roadside. 'I will try to take the other heel off.'
-
-Dot smothered an exclamation.
-
-Peggie herself was leaning over the little side gate fifty yards away,
-and the figure of the district butcher was discernible on the footpath.
-
-'You could go in yourself,' he whispered, 'and get wraps as well.'
-
-'I am afraid,' she said again, and looked at the lamplight with strange
-eyes. 'There's a pair in the hall stand box.'
-
-He opened the gate very quietly and went over the grass; she saw him
-push open the half closed front door, and go into the hall.
-
-Peggie's voice came over the garden beds.
-
-'Get out with you,' she was saying to her lover. Dot watched her with
-frightened eyes, for no quick shadow fell on the lighted patch near the
-door.
-
-How long he was! Perhaps he could not find the shoes, perhaps Larrie had
-flung them out. It might be he was looking for another wrap for her.
-
-'Ga'rn,' said Peggie, 'I'm goin' in.'
-
-But Dot trembled needlessly, she did not move. The frilled curtain blew
-through the drawing-room window in its old accustomed way; the broken
-wistaria lattice swayed and creaked as it had done for months. Something
-rose in Dot's throat, the wildness died out of her eyes.
-
-Then the long shadow fell on the lighted patch, and he came across the
-grass again, straight over the mignonette bed and Larrie's primroses.
-
-She shivered violently, a sick feeling of fear came over her. He was
-speaking to her, bending down to her, she could not see his face in the
-darkness, but she knew he was holding something in his arms. He put it
-gently down on her knees. How warm it was, how soft, how very small!
-Such a little pitiful cry of broken sleep it gave!
-
-'Oh, God bless you!' she said, 'God bless you!' There came a rush of
-warm, relieving, grateful tears.
-
-'Oh, God bless you!' she said again. But he had gone.
-
-
-THE END
-
-
-
-
-Transcriber's notes:
-
-
-Inconsistent hyphenation (indiarubber/india-rubber, roseleaf/rose-leaf,
-tiptoe/tip-toe, weatherboard/weather-board, workbasket/work-basket)
-retained.
-
-Inconsistent spelling of Laurence/Lawrence has been retained.
-
-
-
-
-
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Story of a Baby, by Ethel Turner
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Story of a Baby
-
-Author: Ethel Turner
-
-Release Date: January 2, 2017 [EBook #53864]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STORY OF A BABY ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Wilson and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images generously made available by The
-Internet Archive/American Libraries.)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<hr class="ww" />
-
-
-
-<div class="halftitle"><a name="png.001" id="png.001" href="#png.001"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>i<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a><img id="halftitle" src="images/halftitle.jpg"
- alt="[Half title:
- The Story of a Baby
- NAVTILVS SERIES]"
- title="half title page" />
-</div>
-
-
-
-<div class="plate">
-<a name="png.004" id="png.004" href="#png.004"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>iv<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a><img class="bordered" id="frontis" src="images/frontis.jpg"
- alt="[Frontispiece: Dot and Larrie, holding the baby, walk down a road arguing.
- Dot is dressed in white and carrying a white parasol, while Larrie is dressed in a dark suit and boater.
- The baby's bonnet has fallen on the road.
-
- Illustration is signed St Clair Simmons.]" title="" /><br
- />“‘He is exactly twenty-one pounds,’ she said.â€
- <p><small><i>The Story of a Baby.</i>]</small><span class="epub">            </span>
- <small class="fltrt"> [<!-- TN: opening bracket invisible in original --><i><a href="#png.012">Page 2</a>.</i></small></p>
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<a name="png.005" id="png.005" href="#png.005"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>v<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a><img id="titlepage" src="images/titlepage.jpg"
- alt="The Story of a Baby
- by
- Ethel Turner
- The Navtilvs Series
- Ward Lock &amp; Bowden Limited
- London · New York &amp; Melbourne
- 1896" title="title page" />
-</div>
-
-
-
-<div class="dedication">
-<p id="dedic"><small><a name="png.007" id="png.007" href="#png.007"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>vii<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>TO THE BEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD</small></p>
-
-<p id="sig"><small>E. T., <i>Sydney</i>.</small></p>
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-<div class="toc">
-<h2 title="Contents" ><a name="png.009" id="png.009" href="#png.009"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>ix<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CONTENTS</h2>
-
-
-<table id="toc" summary="Contents">
- <tr>
- <th>CHAP.</th>
- <th>&nbsp;</th>
- <th>PAGE</th>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">I.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.011">THE BURDEN OF IT</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.011">1</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">II.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.021">THE RED ROAD COUNTRY</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.021">11</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">III.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.031">DOT AND LARRIE FALL OUT</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.031">21</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">IV.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.043">THE ‘LITTLE MOTHER’</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.043">33</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">V.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.057">MORE RIFTS IN THE LUTE</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.057">45</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">VI.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.070">LARRIE THE LOAFER</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.070">58</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">VII.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.085">A POCKET MADAME MELBA</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.085">73</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">VIII.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.095">PICTURES IN THE FIRE</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.095">83</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">IX.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.109">A CONFLICT OF WILLS</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.109">97</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">X.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.123">A DARN ON A DRESS</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.123">111</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">XI.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.136">A QUESTION OF OWNERSHIP</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.136">124</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">XII.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.143">A LITTLE DIPLOMAT</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.143">131</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">XIII.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.152">DOT GOES BABY LIFTING</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.152">140</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">XIV.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.159">THE WHEEL IN THE BRAIN</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.159">147</a></td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td class="chapnum">XV.</td>
- <td><a href="#png.166">SULLIVAN WOOSTER, GENTLEMAN</a></td>
- <td class="chappg"><a href="#png.166">154</a></td><!-- TN: Original lacks entry for chapter XV -->
- </tr>
-</table>
-</div>
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h1 title="The Story of a Baby"><a name="png.011" id="png.011" href="#png.011"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>1<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>THE STORY OF A BABY</h1>
-
-
-
-
-<h2 id="firstchap" title="I. The Burden of It" >CHAPTER I<br
- /><small>THE BURDEN OF IT</small></h2>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Larrie</span> had been carrying it for a long way
-and said it was quite time Dot took her turn.</p>
-
-<p>Dot was arguing the point.</p>
-
-<p>She reminded him of all athletic sports he
-had taken part in, and of all the prizes he had
-won; she asked him what was the use of
-being six-foot-two and an impossible number
-of inches round the chest if he could not carry
-a baby.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie gave her an unexpected glance and
-moved the baby to his other arm; he was
-heated and unhappy, there seemed absolutely
-<a name="png.012" id="png.012" href="#png.012"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>2<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>no end to the red, red road they were traversing,
-and Dot, as well as refusing to help to
-carry the burden, laughed aggravatingly at
-him when he said it was heavy.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is exactly twenty-one pounds,’ she
-said, ‘I weighed him on the kitchen scales
-yesterday, I should think a man of your size
-ought to be able to carry twenty-one pounds
-without grumbling so.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But he’s on springs, Dot,’ he said, ‘just
-look at him, he’s never still for a minute, you
-carry him to the beginning of Lee’s orchard,
-and then I’ll take him again.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot shook her head.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m very sorry, Larrie,’ she said, ‘but I
-really can’t. You know I didn’t want to
-bring the child, and when you insisted, I said
-to myself, you should carry him every inch
-of the way, just for your obstinacy.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But you’re his mother,’ objected Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>He was getting seriously angry, his arms
-ached unutterably, his clothes were sticking
-to his back, and twice the baby had poked a
-little fat thumb in his eye and made it water.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.013" id="png.013" href="#png.013"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>3<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘But you’re its father,’ Dot said sweetly.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s easier for a woman to carry a child
-than a man’—poor Larrie was mopping his
-hot brow with his disengaged hand—‘everyone
-says so; don’t be a little sneak, Dot,
-my arm’s getting awfully cramped; here, for
-pity’s sake take him.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot shook her head again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Would you have me break my vow, St
-Lawrence?’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>She looked provokingly cool and unruffled
-as she walked along by his side; her gown
-was white, with transparent puffy sleeves, her
-hat was white and very large, she had little
-white canvas shoes, long white Suéde gloves,
-and she carried a white parasol.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m hanged,’ said Larrie, and he stopped
-short in the middle of the road, ‘look here,
-my good woman, are you going to take your
-baby, or are you not?’</p>
-
-<p>Dot revolved her sunshade round her little
-sweet face.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, my good man,’ she said, ‘I don’t
-propose to carry your baby one step.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.014" id="png.014" href="#png.014"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>4<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘Then I shall drop it,’ said Larrie. He
-held it up in a threatening position by the
-back of its crumpled coat, but Dot had gone
-sailing on.</p>
-
-<p>‘Find a soft place,’ she called, looking back
-over her shoulder once and seeing him still
-standing in the road.</p>
-
-<p>‘Little minx,’ he said under his breath.</p>
-
-<p>Then his mouth squared itself; ordinarily
-it was a pleasant mouth, much given to
-laughter and merry words; but when it took
-that obstinate look, one could see capabilities
-for all manner of things.</p>
-
-<p>He looked carefully around. By the roadside
-there was a patch of soft, green grass, and
-a wattle bush, yellow-crowned, beautiful. He
-laid the child down in the shade of it, he
-looked to see there were no ants or other
-insects near; he put on the bootee that was
-hanging by a string from the little rosy foot
-and he stuck the india-rubber comforter in its
-mouth. Then he walked quietly away and
-caught up to Dot.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well?’ she said, but she looked a little
-<a name="png.015" id="png.015" href="#png.015"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>5<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>startled at his empty arms; she drooped the
-sunshade over the shoulder nearest to him,
-and gave a hasty, surreptitious glance backward.
-Larrie strode along.</p>
-
-<p>‘You look fearfully ugly when you screw
-up your mouth like that,’ she said, looking
-up at his set side face.</p>
-
-<p>‘You’re an unnatural mother, Dot, that’s
-what you are,’ he returned hotly. ‘By Jove,
-if I was a woman, I’d be ashamed to act as
-you do. You get worse every day you live.
-I’ve kept excusing you to myself, and saying
-you would get wiser as you grew older, and
-instead, you seem more childish every day.’</p>
-
-<p>She looked childish. She was very, very
-small in stature, very slightly and delicately
-built. Her hair was in soft gold-brown curls,
-as short as a boy’s; her eyes were soft, and
-wide, and tender, and beautiful as a child’s.
-When she was happy they were the colour
-of that blue, deep violet we call the Czar, and
-when she grew thoughtful, or sorrowful, they
-were like the heart of a great, dark purple
-pansy. She was not particularly beautiful,
-<a name="png.016" id="png.016" href="#png.016"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>6<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>only very fresh, and sweet, and lovable.
-Larrie once said she always looked like a
-baby that has been freshly bathed and
-dressed, and puffed with sweet violet powder,
-and sent out into the world to refresh tired
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>That was one of his courtship sayings, more
-than a year ago when she was barely seventeen.
-She was eighteen now, and he was
-telling her she was an unnatural mother.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why, the child wouldn’t have had its bib
-on, only I saw to it,’ he said, in a voice that
-increased in excitement as he dwelt on the
-enormity.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dear me,’ said Dot, ‘that was very careless
-of Peggie, I must really speak to her about it.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall shake you some day, Dot,’ Larrie
-said, ‘shake you till your teeth rattle. Sometimes
-I can hardly keep my hands off you.’</p>
-
-<p>His brow was gloomy, his boyish face
-troubled, vexed.</p>
-
-<p>And Dot laughed. Leaned against the
-fence skirting the road that seemed to run to
-eternity, and laughed outrageously.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.017" id="png.017" href="#png.017"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>7<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Larrie stopped too. His face was very
-white and square-looking, his dark eyes held
-fire. He put his hands on the white, exaggerated
-shoulders of her muslin dress and
-turned her round.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go back to the bottom of the hill this
-instant, and pick up the child and carry it up
-here,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go and insert your foolish old head in a
-receptacle for <i>pommes-de-terre</i>,’ was Dot’s
-flippant retort.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie’s hands pressed harder, his chin grew
-squarer.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m in earnest, Dot, deadly earnest. I order
-you to fetch the child, and I intend you to
-obey me,’ he gave her a little shake to enforce
-the command. ‘I am your master, and I
-intend you to know it from this day.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot experienced a vague feeling of surprise
-at the fire in the eyes that were nearly always
-clear, and smiling, and loving, then she twisted
-herself away.</p>
-
-<p>‘Pooh,’ she said, ‘you’re only a stupid overgrown,
-passionate boy, Larrie. You my
-<a name="png.018" id="png.018" href="#png.018"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>8<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>master! You’re nothing in the world but
-my husband.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you going?’ he said in a tone he had
-never used before to her. ‘Say Yes or No,
-Dot, instantly.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Dot, stormily.</p>
-
-<p>Then they both gave a sob of terror, their
-faces blanched, and they began to run madly
-down the hill.</p>
-
-<p>Oh the long, long way they had come, the
-endless stretch of red, red road that wound
-back to the gold-tipped wattles, the velvet
-grass, and their baby!</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was a fleet, wonderful runner. In
-the little cottage where they lived, manifold
-silver cups and mugs bore witness to it, and
-he was running for life now, but Dot nearly
-outstripped him.</p>
-
-<p>She flew over the ground, hardly touching
-it, her arms were outstretched, her lips
-moving. They fell down together on their
-knees by their baby, just as three furious,
-hard-driven bullocks thundered by, filling the
-air with dust and bellowing.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.019" id="png.019" href="#png.019"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>9<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>The baby was blinking happily up at a
-great fat golden beetle that was making a
-lazy way up the wattle. It had lost its ‘comforter’
-and was sucking its thumb thoughtfully.
-It had kicked off its white knitted
-boots, and was curling its pink toes up in the
-sunshine with great enjoyment.</p>
-
-<p>‘Baby!’ Larrie said. The big fellow was
-trembling in every limb.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>Baby!</em>’ said Dot. She gathered it up in
-her little shaking arms, she put her poor
-white face down upon it, and broke into such
-pitiful tears and sobs that it wept too. Larrie
-took them both into his arms, and sat down
-on a fallen tree. He soothed them, he called
-them a thousand tender, beautiful names; he
-took off Dot’s hat and stroked her little curls, he
-kissed his baby again and again; he kissed his
-wife. When they were all quite calm and the
-bullocks ten miles away, they started again.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’ll carry him,’ said Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah no, let me,’ Dot said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Darling, you’re too tired—see, you can
-hold his hand across my shoulder.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.020" id="png.020" href="#png.020"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>10<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘No, no, give him to me—my arms ache
-without him.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But the hill—my big baby!’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I <em>must</em> have him—Larrie, <em>let</em> me—see,
-he is so light—why, he is nothing to carry.’</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="II. The Red Road Country"><a name="png.021" id="png.021" href="#png.021"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>11<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER II<br
- /><small>THE RED ROAD COUNTRY</small></h2>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">In</span> cool weather the Red Road was very
-pleasant walking. It wound up hill and down
-dale for many a mile till it reached Hornsby,
-and branched away into different country.</p>
-
-<p>All the way there were gum trees—gum
-trees and fences; here and there were closer
-palings and garden shrubs indicating human
-residence, but they were far apart and the
-road was very lonely. Parallel to it and showing
-in places between the trees was the single
-line of the railway. It did not spoil the
-scenery at all, it rather gave a friendly look
-to it and reminded the pedestrian that in
-spite of the bush silences, the towering trees,
-the vista of blue hills and the mountain-like
-<a name="png.022" id="png.022" href="#png.022"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>12<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>freshness of the air, he could be in all the
-bustle and happy fellowship of town in half-an-hour.</p>
-
-<p>Away to the left the ground dipped, then
-rose again, in a blue soft hill, dipped again,
-and the new rise was purple and beautiful.
-The third dip, just a line, white sometimes
-and again blue was the harbour. On clear
-days one could see the smoke of vessels.
-Beyond the hills and the water-line stretched
-Sydney city, white and shining in the distant
-sunlight. Further away, over near the sky,
-the grey blue hills and the light that meant
-sand-stretches was Botany.</p>
-
-<p>Higher up, and between the first and second
-hill-rise, ran the river they call Lane Cove.
-A great white building, St Ignatius, made
-one land-mark and the Mortlake gas-works
-another; from those places the residents
-knew their geography. That was Eastwood
-away over there, nestling among hills; those
-blurred cottages indicated Ryde; just where
-the tree tops showed in a hollow, was the
-head of the river, and right away on the west
-<a name="png.023" id="png.023" href="#png.023"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>13<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>horizon a certain patch was the highest place
-in the blue mountains. In a few years the
-beautiful country-side will be commonplace
-suburbs; there will be stucco villas and
-terrace houses, shops and paved roads; the
-railway has broken its fastness and the change
-is inevitable.</p>
-
-<p>The smooth grass slopes, the wooded
-stretches will live only in memory. The
-great red-and-black and silver-limbed gums
-will be hewn down to make way for spreading
-civilisation. The blue gracious hills will be
-thick with chimneys and advertisement boards.
-There will be a double line of railway, no
-longer picturesque, and big spreading stations
-instead of primitive sidings where one held up
-a ‘flag by day and a light at night’ to be
-picked up of the passing train.</p>
-
-<p>Past St Leonard’s the railway is very new,
-a matter of months indeed.</p>
-
-<p>Before it was opened there were obstacles in
-the way of reaching Sydney that made would-be
-residents shake their heads, and go to live
-at Paddington, and Forest Lodge, and such
-<a name="png.024" id="png.024" href="#png.024"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>14<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>crowded places that could be reached by tram
-with a certain degree of comfort.</p>
-
-<p>But before the year of grace 1893, the
-train from the hills that only just escaped
-being mountains, used to empty out its
-passengers on the little St Leonard’s Station.
-There were two ways only after that of
-getting to Sydney.</p>
-
-<p>Either one merrily trudged a pathway
-mile, and then caught a North Shore cable
-tram to the point where the Ferry boat
-leaves for the Circular Quay, or one entrusted
-one’s life and well-being to a vehicle that
-might have been a Noah’s Ark, or a bathing
-machine, or a convict van.</p>
-
-<p>In ancient days it used to run between
-Shoalhaven and Moss-Vale, as its red painted
-sides still bore witness, but travellers in those
-parts did better for themselves, so they
-brought it here, and charged sixpence each
-way for the twenty-five minutes’ journey.
-Now there is a combination of the railway;
-pressure was brought to bear, and the New
-South Wales Government finished in a hurry
-<a name="png.025" id="png.025" href="#png.025"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>15<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>a work that had dragged on till people
-despaired of its completion. The line winds
-down towards the chimneys and smoke of
-‘The Shore’; one has glimpses from the
-train of blue bright bays and white sails
-moored boats, and a broken wharf or two
-waiting to catch the artist’s eye. Then it
-skirts along the harbour, close to the water,
-in a semi-circular sweep, and makes an eye-sore.
-Two years ago, Lavender Bay was
-beautiful.</p>
-
-<p>But about the Red Road. Just at the top
-of one of the elevations, there was a big stone
-house standing in the middle of an orange
-and lemon orchard. Dot’s mother lived here
-by herself.</p>
-
-<p>A mile and a half away down the road
-there was a weather-board cottage in a garden
-running over with flowers. Larrie and Dot
-lived here, and the baby of course. They had
-been going up to ‘mother’s’ the afternoon
-they quarrelled about carrying the child;
-they always went on Sundays.</p>
-
-<p>Very often Dot went on Mondays too,
-<a name="png.026" id="png.026" href="#png.026"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>16<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>that was the day Peggie, her <i>aide-de-camp</i>,
-made the cottage unsavoury with soap-suds.
-Tuesday nights they always had dinner up at
-the house, Peggie never had time to cook on
-Tuesdays, there were so many of Dot’s
-dresses and Larrie’s shirts, and baby’s multitudinous
-garments to be finely ironed.</p>
-
-<p>On Thursdays and Saturdays the mother
-used to come down to the cottage and put it
-straight, and help poor Peggie, and bring a
-new knitted jacket or bootees or a hood or
-pinafore for baby.</p>
-
-<p>The house was a big lonely place for such a
-little woman. She was even smaller than Dot.
-She had a tiny fragile figure, and a tiny face,
-brown and shrivelled with Australian suns.
-Her eyes were very big and pathetic, something
-like Dot’s in wistful moments, and her
-mouth with its infinitude of lines, was very
-sweet.</p>
-
-<p>After her eyes, her brooch was the first
-thing that invited notice. It was one of
-those large, very old-fashioned ones with a
-miniature set on the front of it. Dot had
-<a name="png.027" id="png.027" href="#png.027"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>17<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>begged her to cease wearing it; ‘It isn’t good
-taste,’ she had said once vexedly, ‘keep it in
-a drawer;’ but the mother would not lay it
-aside even though it was the only thing in
-which she had ever thwarted Dot in her
-life.</p>
-
-<p>When she went to bed she pinned it on
-her night-gown, when she dressed in the
-morning she fastened her collar with it. A
-hundred times a day her fingers strayed to it.
-In her sleep her hand stole up and closed
-upon it.</p>
-
-<p>The miniature was of a very young man in
-the old fashioned naval uniform that used to
-be worn forty years ago. He had the correct
-miniature smile, but the eyes were well done
-and you could see his brow had been splendid.
-He was Dot’s father, dead sixteen years ago;
-it was the only likeness he had ever had
-taken.</p>
-
-<p>Inside the brooch was a cluster of little
-heads, gaudily painted, six in all; Dot, the
-seventh, had been born after it was
-done.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.028" id="png.028" href="#png.028"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>18<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Four of the heads pressed clay pillows in a
-churchyard not very far away, seas washed
-over the fifth, and the sixth lay in a lonely
-grave in the wilds of Western Australia.</p>
-
-<p>Dot was the only one alive, and now she
-had flown from the home-nest to one of her
-own, leaving unutterable desolation behind
-her in the mother’s heart.</p>
-
-<p>It was because death had so broken and
-bruised this little frail mother that she had
-never crossed Dot’s will in anything since she
-was born. The days of insistence and control,
-and obedience-seeking were buried with the
-buried six. Dot ruled, and the mother poured
-out her heart at her feet and worshipped
-with a love almost desperate.</p>
-
-<p>So when Dot said she was going to be
-married at once, albeit only seventeen years
-had passed over her little sunny head, the
-mother had not been able to refuse. She
-had only reminded Larrie, whom she loved
-dearly and had known for years, how young
-her darling was, and on her knees she had
-prayed him to be good to her always. Larrie
-<a name="png.029" id="png.029" href="#png.029"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>19<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>was twenty-two. For sixteen years he had
-come up to the house in the holidays at the
-first sign of a ripening orange; he had eaten
-bananas with Dot, one of them at each end of
-the fruit, when she was two.</p>
-
-<p>He had played cricket with her at six,
-climbed trees with her at ten, pulled her hair
-and pinched her for being a girl at twelve,
-forgotten her for a time at fifteen, and come
-back and married her at seventeen.</p>
-
-<p>He had £250 a year, and no guardians
-or parents to give him unasked advice. So
-he resolved to take a year’s holiday according
-to his doctor’s orders, before he started his
-profession, and teach and train Dot till she
-was an ideal wife. He had all kinds of ideas
-on the subject, though he was so very boyish
-to look at, and he intended to inculcate Dot
-with them all. But for the first year he was
-so exuberantly happy he forgot all about
-them.</p>
-
-<p>It was only when the baby was growing
-into months, and Dot was continually forgetting
-some article of its clothing, or the kicking
-<a name="png.030" id="png.030" href="#png.030"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>20<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>exercise that was to make it an athlete, or
-when her piano made her forget its existence
-for a little while, that he began to think he
-was not doing his duty by her, and must turn
-over a new leaf.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="III. Dot and Larrie Fall Out" ><a name="png.031" id="png.031" href="#png.031"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>21<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER III<br
-/><small>DOT AND LARRIE FALL OUT</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div>‘And though she is but little, she is fierce.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">The</span> cottage was a delightful place. It was
-built of weatherboard, not the kind that overlaps,
-but that with a groove between each
-board. The verandah was very wide and ran
-round the four sides; that was Larrie’s great
-extravagance when he improved the place.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where’s a fellow to smoke when it’s hot
-or wet if there isn’t a decent verandah?’ he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>He and Dot had walked miles upon it in
-the early months of the year, he with his pipe
-in his lips and a look of great content in his
-eyes, she with her hands linked at the back
-of her neck or slipped around his arm.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.032" id="png.032" href="#png.032"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>22<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>There was a profusion of hammocks and
-lounges and chairs that made you lazy to look
-at them. That was Dot’s extravagance. On
-one side the outer wall was of yellow and
-white roses that flowered eternally, on another,
-wistaria with delicate down-dropping blooms.
-The third—the kitchen side—was passion-vines,
-and the fourth was clear, and showed a
-grand sweep of country, and all the Sydney
-vista.</p>
-
-<p>There was a narrow hall and a painted
-front door, on either side of it long French
-windows opening, one into the dining-room,
-the other into Dot’s beautiful little drawing-room.</p>
-
-<p>She had spent a week thinking out the
-furnishing of that room, and nearly all her
-mother’s wedding-present cheque upon it.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I won’t have a carpet,’ she said when
-her mother was dwelling upon the advantages
-of Brussels over Wilton pile, ‘and no, I won’t
-have felt, it’s too stuffy looking; and if you
-buy me a proper tapestry suite I shall set
-fire to it. In India people furnish sensibly,
-<a name="png.033" id="png.033" href="#png.033"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>23<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>but in Australia, which must be nearly as hot,
-they do everything in English style.’</p>
-
-<p>The little mother ceased her suggestions,
-and Dot worked her own will with really
-charming effect.</p>
-
-<p>The room was rather low, and the walls and
-ceiling tinted a delicate green. There was a
-large centre square of white matting, fringed
-at the edge and a border of pale green around
-it. The three French windows had long soft
-curtains of white with pale green frills. No
-two chairs were alike. They were of rattan
-and pith, and bamboo in quaint shapes. One
-had a flat sea-green cushion of plush, one a
-triangular one of silk with frills of coral pink;
-there was a lovely pith sofa lounge, wide,
-inviting, with a pile of pillows in cool Liberty
-silk. In a corner the piano stood, a beautiful
-instrument though very plain. It was not
-draped in art muslin, and it had no photos or
-<i>bric-à-brac</i> on it to jingle and spoil the wonderful
-music Dot brought forth from it. A great
-lamp stood beside it with a green crinkled
-paper canopy, restful to the eye.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.034" id="png.034" href="#png.034"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>24<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>In another corner there was a low bookcase
-running along the wall; volumes of Browning
-caught the eye, Tennyson, William Morris,
-Shelley, Keats, all the gods.</p>
-
-<p>There was a sandal wood writing-table,
-with silver handles and silver equipments, a
-silver lamp with a rose-leaf shade, and a
-photo of baby in a silver chased frame.</p>
-
-<p>There was not a tambourine on the walls,
-not a single fan pocket, not a plaque. Half-a-dozen
-pictures perhaps, bits of exquisite
-colouring chiefly in long narrow gold frames;
-a sunset at Manly Lagoon, a bit of the
-Kanimbla valley, with summer upon it, a
-water colour of the road above Mossman’s
-Bay, a woman’s face, pale and unspeakably
-beautiful, painted against a background of
-purple velvet, some chrysanthemums, tawny
-yellow and brown.</p>
-
-<p>One or two engravings as well. ‘Wedded’
-in an oak frame hung over the piano. Dot
-said the man was Larrie’s very counterpart;
-when she sang she used to look up at it and
-feel glad he was her husband. On a tall
-<a name="png.035" id="png.035" href="#png.035"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>25<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>easel on a table there was the ‘Peacemaker.’
-Larrie said the little girl was Dot. There
-were bits of quaint china on the little tables,
-and a few photographs, not many. Flowers
-there were in all possible places. Daffodils
-and spiky leaves in the windows, roses and
-‘shivery’ grass on the tables, low vases of
-violets and primroses, tall ones of jonquils.
-Dot dusted this room herself every morning,
-then before she could put the duster away,
-the piano would tempt her, and the rest of
-the house be forgotten. But for Peggie what
-a place it would have been!</p>
-
-<p>Peggie was a real Cornstalk. She was fully
-five-feet-eleven, and had impossibly long arms
-and an impossible number of freckles. But
-she had also all a Cornstalk’s warm, honest
-heart; she was devoted to Dot and Larrie, and
-absolutely worshipped the baby. She made
-no better a servant as far as work went, than
-the average untrained Australian girl; but
-she was wonderfully learned in the ways and
-wants of babyhood, and so was invaluable to
-Dot who was absurdly ignorant. When
-<a name="png.036" id="png.036" href="#png.036"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>26<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Larrie had engaged her twelve months ago
-at a Sydney registry office, he had asked her
-name.</p>
-
-<p>‘Marjorie<!-- TN: original reads "Majorie" --> Dorothy Pegerton,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ah!’ said Larrie, ‘that’s a high day and
-holiday name, shall we say Mary on week
-days?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Marjie, some folks call me,’ she answered.
-‘Or there’s Dolly—I’m not particular—you
-can even call me Peg if you like, Mr—what was it the gentleman said your name
-was?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Armitage,’ said Larrie, ‘and let us decide
-on Peggie; it is unique, and altogether
-charming in these days.’</p>
-
-<p>They were both very fond of Peggie, she
-was the stay of the cottage in all domestic
-affairs—it would have fallen to pieces but
-for her, and the baby—well there is
-really no knowing what would have happened
-to that same baby had it not been
-for Peggie.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie generally minded the baby on
-Thursday mornings. It was Thursday morning
-<a name="png.037" id="png.037" href="#png.037"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>27<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>now. Peggie was doing her routine work
-for that time, scrubbing the bare pine floors
-of the bedrooms. Larrie and Dot both hated
-carpets.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was smoking his third postprandial
-pipe, and was pacing up and down one side of
-the verandah; he would have liked to have
-gone the whole distance, but then there was
-the baby.</p>
-
-<p>It was lying in a hammock in a nest of
-pillows, and looking with calm, large gaze out
-into all the world that appeared through a
-gap in the rose creeper. There was the
-pink flush of recent sleep on its little soft
-cheeks, and its hair, the softest, warmest gold
-in the world, was all tumbled and curly with
-washing. It had a wonderful amount of hair
-for so young a child, and Dot’s pride in it
-was forgivable, for nearly all the babies of
-her acquaintance were bald.</p>
-
-<p>Have you ever kissed a baby’s neck?
-Was ever anything so warm and white and
-velvety? The neck of Dot’s baby was absolutely
-beyond description. Its mouth was
-<a name="png.038" id="png.038" href="#png.038"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>28<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>red, bowshaped. Sometimes it gave wide
-wet touches on Dot’s cheeks, and she would
-whisper excitedly to Larrie that it was kissing
-her.</p>
-
-<p>Such wonderful, wondering eyes it had,
-intensely blue, intensely earnest. There had
-been moments when Larrie felt he would
-give his soul to know just what his baby was
-thinking of.</p>
-
-<p>Did you show it a beautiful flower or a low
-hanging silver moon, a picture, something
-bright with colour? it seemed to be looking
-away far beyond them and smiling in a faint
-sweet way, because it saw fairer things than
-ever you dreamed of.</p>
-
-<p>Its hands—well, perhaps they were like
-most babies’ hands, but neither Dot, nor
-Larrie, nor Peggie, nor the little mother would
-have allowed it for a moment. They were
-like the inside of a flushed, curled, rose-leaf,
-and when they closed round your finger, you
-felt how strangely sweet, and soft and warm
-they were. From the long open window
-came the sound of Dot’s voice, singing. The
-<a name="png.039" id="png.039" href="#png.039"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>29<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>baby was listening as it lay in the hammock.
-Larrie was listening as he smoked, though in
-a half reluctant way.</p>
-
-<p>When little souls are born, just before they
-come to us from the wonderful place of souls,
-they have to do with a lottery. To a
-thousand little blind struggling souls, there
-are half-a-dozen great good gifts. Nine
-hundred and ninety-four draw blanks, but
-the band of six come down to us blessed,
-rejoicing. Dot had been of the six. She
-had drawn a voice. Generally Larrie rejoiced
-because of it.</p>
-
-<p>Not this morning, however. He had been
-brooding lately over Dot’s deficiencies<!-- TN: original reads "deficencies" -->, and he
-almost wished she had been of the nine
-hundred and ninety-four. For one thing,
-he could have walked all the four sides of
-the verandah if she had been. The thought
-rankled.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dot,’ he called in ‘a voice.’</p>
-
-<p>Only little bursts of melody answered him.
-She was singing a rippling song of Schubert’s;
-it was in keeping with the warm, soft air
-<a name="png.040" id="png.040" href="#png.040"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>30<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>outside, the twittering of birds, the faint
-motion of the gum leaves.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dot!’ he shouted.</p>
-
-<p>She put a curly little head between the
-window curtains.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, Larrakin?’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come and mind the baby,’ he said shortly,
-‘I want to smoke.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But baby doesn’t mind smoke at all—do
-you, small sweet?’ she said, going over to
-the hammock. ‘Oh Larrie, look how uncomfortable
-he is, you’re a nice one to look
-after him; and where’s his comforter? he’ll
-have no thumb left presently.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I threw it away,’ Larrie answered, ‘all that
-indiarubber can’t be good for him, I don’t
-intend him to have another.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Stupid!’ said Dot. She kissed the baby,
-tickled it, tossed it, then laid it down
-again.</p>
-
-<p>‘What did you call me for,’ she said. ‘I
-was just enjoying myself.’ Her eyes still had
-the look of being away in the spheres. ‘He’s
-all right there and it’s your turn to mind him,
-<a name="png.041" id="png.041" href="#png.041"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>31<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Larrie. I walked him about for an hour in
-the night.’</p>
-
-<p>She moved to go in again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Stop here when I tell you, and mind him,’
-he said in an unpardonable voice.</p>
-
-<p>Dot gave him a surprised look.</p>
-
-<p>‘You forget yourself, Larrie,’ she said quietly.</p>
-
-<p>She went in and her fingers wandered into
-the quiet, calm music of one of Mendelssohn’s
-gondola songs. But she took it in rather
-hurried time. Larrie disturbed her when he
-had this mood on. He came behind her and
-lifted her hands off the keyboard.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go and mind the child this minute.’ The
-flame in his eyes showed itself instantly in hers.</p>
-
-<p>‘How dare you speak to me like that!’ she
-said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go and mind the child,’ said Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>Dot crashed a passionate chord on the
-piano, she lifted her right hand for a brilliant
-run. But Larrie picked her up in his arms
-and put her outside on the verandah near the
-hammock. Then he went in and closed the
-drawing-room door behind him.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.042" id="png.042" href="#png.042"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>32<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>By the time she had flown round through
-the dining-room he was locking the piano.</p>
-
-<p>‘How <em>dare</em> you!’ Dot said in trembling
-fury. ‘My piano! give me that key
-instantly.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Go and mind your child,’ he said. He was
-stooping a little, for the key stuck, since it
-was never used; his head was almost on a
-level with the lid.</p>
-
-<p>The next minute he was standing straight
-in confused astoundment. Dot had dealt him
-a passionate box on the ear, and fled from the
-room.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="IV. The ‘Little Mother’" ><a name="png.043" id="png.043" href="#png.043"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>33<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER IV<br
- /><small>THE ‘LITTLE MOTHER’</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div>‘Kiss and be friends, like children being chid.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">It</span> was unwritten law that thunder storms at
-the cottage should never travel to the house.
-But when Dot hurried up the drive and
-burst into the dining-room with a scarlet face
-and glowing eyes, the mother was afraid
-something was wrong.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why, it’s Thursday, Dot!’ she said, ‘I
-was just coming down.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot took off her wide brimmed hat and
-fanned herself for a moment.</p>
-
-<p>‘There was curry cooking in the kitchen,’
-she said; ‘onions, pah!’</p>
-
-<p>‘How’s the baby, why didn’t you bring
-him?’ asked the little mother.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.044" id="png.044" href="#png.044"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>34<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘Oh, bother the baby,’ said Dot.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is Larrie’s neuralgia better?’ the mother
-ventured after a little pause. And ‘bother
-Larrie,’ was Dot’s wifely response.</p>
-
-<p>The mother got out the twenty-seventh
-pair of boots she was knitting for baby, and
-worked two rows in silence. She wondered
-if it was Larrie’s fault or Dot’s. Larrie’s she
-was sure. She wished Dot was her one little
-girl again, so she could take all the troubles
-for her.</p>
-
-<p>‘How did Peggie like the new soap I left
-her?’ she said, anxiously flying from topics
-that made Dot’s brows frown.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bother Peggie,’ said Dot. ‘She washed
-baby’s nightgowns with it, and the whole
-world’s placarded with advertisements that
-say don’t. Idiot!’</p>
-
-<p>‘The oranges are ripening beautifully,’ said
-the poor little mother.</p>
-
-<p>Dot went over to her and kissed her
-passionately.</p>
-
-<p>‘You’re the best woman in the world,’ she
-said.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.045" id="png.045" href="#png.045"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>35<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Tears of quick pleasure sprang into the
-mother’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>My</em> little girl,’ she said softly.</p>
-
-<p>She held Dot from her a minute, and
-scanned the flushed face with eyes that saw
-everything.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish I was,’ Dot said, in a stifled tone,
-‘<!-- TN: opening quote invisible in original -->just yours.’</p>
-
-<p>Anger crept into the mother’s big eyes.
-‘Has Larrie?’—she said, ‘Larrie, has he—does
-he?’—indignation overcame her.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh no,’ said Dot, ashamed of so nearly infringing
-the law. ‘Larrie’s all right—what are
-you running your head against, small woman?’</p>
-
-<p>‘He is good to you?’ suspiciously.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>Very</em> good.’</p>
-
-<p>She got up and went to the piano. ‘I
-came to have a good practice,’ she said. ‘One
-can’t with baby about.’</p>
-
-<p>She screwed up the stool, opened the lid,
-and got out a pile of music. Wagner was
-at the bottom of the canterbury, and she
-sought for him, and then attacked him with
-level brows.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.046" id="png.046" href="#png.046"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>36<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>By the time she had made ten mistakes,
-and the little mother’s head was aching, there
-was the click of an opening gate.</p>
-
-<p>‘I—’ said Dot,
-‘<!-- TN: opening quote placed before second "I" in original -->I—think I shall go home.’
-She jumped up and peeped through the
-Venetian. ‘Baby may want me, and—and—if
-Larrie should happen to come in, you
-needn’t say I’ve been; he thinks I walk too
-much.’</p>
-
-<p>She gave her mother a hurried kiss on the
-top of her cap, and slipped out of the back
-door and across the paddocks to the train.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie came down the hall with slow step.
-He sat down in Dot’s old rocking-chair.
-‘Morning, mum,’ he said, ‘the oranges are
-looking lovely.’ He was eating one he had
-plucked near the gate, but did not seem to
-be paying any attention to the taste of it.<!-- TN: period invisible in original --></p>
-
-<p>The little mother regarded him with eyes
-full of severity, though she tried to hide it.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dot is not looking well,’ she said, ‘haven’t
-you noticed? We mustn’t let her do too
-much, we must be very careful of her, Larrie
-boy.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.047" id="png.047" href="#png.047"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>37<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Larrie looked a trifle disturbed for a minute,
-then righteous wrath prevailed over incipient
-anxiety. ‘Why she doesn’t do anything,’<!-- TN: closing quote invisible in original -->
-he said, ‘<em>anything</em>.’</p>
-
-<p>‘She’s very young,’ was the mother’s reply.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, that’s nothing,’ said Larrie ‘lots
-of girls of eighteen are married and do
-everything.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Not little tiny girls like Dot,’ urged
-mother, ‘you mustn’t be hard on her, Larrie,
-she’ll be all she should be in time.’</p>
-
-<p>‘But not if I don’t teach her,’ he insisted;
-‘why, how can she?’</p>
-
-<p>‘It comes of itself,’ the mother answered.</p>
-
-<p>But a dark look of recollective annoyance
-spread over Larrie’s brow.</p>
-
-<p>‘She forgot baby’s teething necklace three
-days last week, she’s always forgetting things,’
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>Then he too remembered the law, and ate
-the rest of his orange in silence.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish you would not come down to the
-cottage quite so often,’ was the remark with
-which he broke a meditation that had
-<a name="png.048" id="png.048" href="#png.048"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>38<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>involved criss-crossed brows and five slow
-minutes. A little odd sound broke from
-the mother’s lips. Larrie looked up and saw
-she was white under her brown and her eyes
-were piteous.</p>
-
-<p>He crossed over to her with two swift steps.
-He knelt down beside her chair, and put both
-his arms round her thin waist.</p>
-
-<p>‘How dare you, mum, how <em>dare</em> you have
-such thoughts!’ he said. He kissed her
-several times in an eager, boyish way. ‘You
-<em>know</em> you could never come too often for me,
-you <em>know</em> you are more to me than my own
-mother ever was. It’s only Dot, don’t you
-see? She’s getting too dependent, mum.
-We’ll have to let her stand alone a little
-more. Peggie spoils her, you spoil her—I
-even spoil her myself—mightn’t it be a good
-thing to let her do things by herself for a
-change, just for a trial, mum? And she
-shall come here of course. Only, don’t you
-come to the cottage for a bit, and do all the
-things she leaves undone in that quiet little
-way you have.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.049" id="png.049" href="#png.049"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>39<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘Not even Saturdays, Larrie? That’s the
-hardest day.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ Larrie said. ‘Be a good little mum
-and leave her to me.’</p>
-
-<p>He stood up, all his six feet and odd inches,
-his young face grave, resolute, his eyes full of
-seriousness.</p>
-
-<p>‘He looks like a man fit to be trusted with
-his own wife,’ the little mother told herself as
-she looked up at him.</p>
-
-<p>Aloud, she said in a tone of wistful resignation.
-‘Very well, Larrie, you will be gentle
-with her, I know—she’s such a little thing.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie walked home. He was thinking
-all the way of the new leaf he was about
-to turn. Dot had behaved in an altogether
-unforgivable manner. He must be
-firm with her, very firm, he told himself.
-He was inclined to spoil her, as he had said,
-and overlook her faults—but from now, he
-must show her, too, his displeasure at the
-disrespectful way she had treated him in the
-morning. Boxing a husband’s ears!</p>
-
-<p>The red burnt on his brow as he opened
-<a name="png.050" id="png.050" href="#png.050"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>40<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>the gate, thinking of it and heard Dot
-trilling Amiens’ song as she watered some
-sickly pelargoniums she was trying to grow.</p>
-
-<p>‘I must be firm, very firm,’ Dot had told
-herself. ‘No husband should order his wife
-about in the way Larrie ordered me. He is a
-little, just a little inclined to tyrannise, and I
-shall be laying up unhappiness for myself if I
-do not nip it in the earliest bud.’</p>
-
-<p class="pgbrk">When she saw his figure coming down the
-hill, she laid the baby down in the cot inside
-and bade Peggie give an eye to him. Then
-she popped on a clean muslin dress with
-forget-me-nots sprinkled all over it, tied the
-blue ribbons of her picturesque garden hat in
-a coquettish bow at the side of her chin, and
-when Larrie opened the gate she was flitting
-about the flower beds with an absurdly small
-red watering can in her hand and the gay
-little song on her lips. It certainly was provoking.</p>
-
-<div class="plate">
-<a name="png.051" id="png.051" href="#png.051"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[</span>Plate<span class="ns"> opp. p40]<br
- /></span></span></a><img class="bordered" id="illo-0055" src="images/illo-0055.jpg"
- alt="[Illustration: Dot, holding a small watering can, is in the foreground.
- Larrie is in the background, coming through the garden gate.
-
- Illustration is signed St Clair Simmons.]" title="" /><br
- />“When Larrie opened the gate she was flitting
-about the flower beds.â€
-<p><small><i>The Story of a Baby.</i>]</small><span class="epub">            </span>
- <small class="fltrt">[<i><a href="#png.050">Page 40</a>.</i></small></p>
-</div>
-
-<p>He had pictured her coming to his side
-with eyes all wet and sorry, and asking forgiveness
-for being so naughty and childish.
-<a name="png.053" id="png.053" href="#png.053"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>41<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>He had decided to forgive her after a time,
-but to show her first, quietly and gravely, how
-much in error she had been. And <span class="nw">now—</span></p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div>‘Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly!</div>
-<div class="i5"><span class="ns">                    </span>Then heigh-ho, the holly!</div>
-<div class="i5"><span class="ns">                    </span>This life is most jolly.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent">and a whole gamut of lilts and trills of her
-own introduction.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie closed his lips very tightly and strode
-past her into the house.</p>
-
-<p>‘I might have known she would turn into
-that kind of woman,’ he muttered, casting off
-his straw hat in the dining-room. ‘A man
-never knows a girl till he’s married to her,
-she never shows herself in a true light before.’</p>
-
-<p>He went into an adjoining bedroom for a
-linen coat to get cool in.</p>
-
-<p>Baby was disporting himself in the high-sided
-cot; his little legs were bare and kicking
-against the pillows, his arms were bare,
-and his soft, sweet neck. Such a gurgle and
-chirrup of welcome he gave his father! He
-banged his heels on the iron, he gave a
-<a name="png.054" id="png.054" href="#png.054"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>42<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>rapturous little leap, and said ‘Googul,
-googul, googul.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie glanced half-shamefacedly through
-the window to make sure Dot could not see,
-and then he went over to the cot and said
-glad responsive ‘googuls,’ and submitted his
-crisp curls to the wee fingers, and tossed him
-about in his arms.</p>
-
-<p>But when the dinner-bell rang he laid him
-down in a hurry, and moved out of the room.
-Only he could not quite call up the stern
-‘firm’ manner again.</p>
-
-<p>Dot sprang up the verandah steps, and went
-into the bedroom to take off her hat, and
-wash invisible gardening marks from her
-fingers.</p>
-
-<p>‘I won’t quarrel,’ she whispered to herself,
-‘but I must really show him I am not to be
-bullied. I will be <em>very</em> firm.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Googul’ said baby.</p>
-
-<p>Such a mournful little googul! there were
-actually two tiny tears welling up in the blue
-wide eyes, for tossing and petting were joyful
-to him.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.055" id="png.055" href="#png.055"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>43<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Dot shut the door. Then she said ‘<em>Baby</em>’
-in a tempestuous little way, and two quick
-answering tears sprang up in her own eyes as
-she lifted him up to her. It was such a lonely,
-reproachful little ‘googul.’ She sat down on
-the bed with him, and made his small
-heart gladsome again with kisses and baby-talk.</p>
-
-<p>The door opened one inch—then wide.</p>
-
-<p>‘The curry coolin’ as ’ard as it can, and
-master lookin’ black, and ’ere you are,’ said
-Peggie resentfully. ‘Give ’im to me, the
-darling angel.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot handed him over, and hurried into the
-dining-room.</p>
-
-<p>‘You’re putting milk in, what are you
-thinking of?’ Larrie said in an injured tone
-after two minutes’ silence. Dot was actually
-thus spoiling the cup of tea he always drank
-brown and sugarful. Peggie had forgotten
-the slop basin. Dot got up to go to the
-cupboard which was near Larrie’s end of the
-table.</p>
-
-<p>‘If you’ll never be naughty again I’ll
-<a name="png.056" id="png.056" href="#png.056"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>44<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>forgive you,’ she said in a whisper at his elbow.
-Her eyes were wet, sorry, pleading.</p>
-
-<p>‘You <em>dear</em> little girl,’ Larrie said. He laid
-down his knife and fork and put his arms
-round her waist, ‘I was a perfect brute to
-you, it was all my fault.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, mine,’ said Dot.<!-- TN: original shows superfluous closing quote --></p>
-
-<p>‘<em>Mine</em>,’ insisted Larrie.<!-- TN: original shows superfluous closing quote --></p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="V. More Rifts in the Lute" ><a name="png.057" id="png.057" href="#png.057"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>45<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER V<br
- /><small>MORE RIFTS IN THE LUTE</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘This grew: I gave commands,</div>
-<div>Then all smiles stopped together.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">But</span> naturally this kind of thing could not go
-on for ever.</p>
-
-<p>Quarrels, with little tender makings up like
-that had a certain charm while their freshness
-lasted. But when the fallings out became
-events of almost weekly occurrence, the fallings
-in were no longer things to be put away
-in ‘the hushed herbarium where we keep our
-hearts’ forget-me-nots.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie <em>was</em> exacting and inclined to be
-tyrannical. And Dot <em>was</em> careless and childish,
-and unreasonable. The first week that the
-mother did not come down to look after
-<a name="png.058" id="png.058" href="#png.058"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>46<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Peggie, and do her fifty odd acts of straightening,
-the cottage was in a glorious state of
-muddle.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie by nature was an order-loving and
-somewhat methodical man, and had an inborn
-objection to see Dot’s pretty slippers lying
-about the house, or stray articles of baby’s
-clothing on the verandah chairs. He thought
-breakfast things too ought not to be left on
-the table till all hours in the morning, and
-when Dot asked him how he could expect
-Peggie to dress baby and make the beds <em>and</em>
-wash up by ten, he retorted brutally that she
-was a lazy little slattern, and should do it
-herself.</p>
-
-<p>‘A slattern is a person untidy in herself,’
-Dot replied, ‘you can’t say you’ve ever seen
-me like that, Laurence Armitage!’</p>
-
-<p>And he certainly could not. Whatever
-her faults were, Dot was a little lady to the
-backbone, and would have been always sweet
-and fresh, and guiltless of pins and rents if she
-had never been able to afford more than
-fourpence half-penny prints to clothe herself
-<a name="png.059" id="png.059" href="#png.059"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>47<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>with. Shabby finery she had a wholesome
-detestation for; however plain her dress might
-be, it was always dainty, her shoes fitted trimly,
-her collar was above reproach and fastened
-with precision, her gloves were unsoiled, and
-her hats always fresh if only trimmed with
-Indian muslin.</p>
-
-<p>But she was certainly a shocking young
-person where household matters were concerned.
-There was plenty of work to do
-even in so small a place; Peggie, however,
-had cheerfully taken it on her own shoulders
-at the beginning, and the things she ought to
-have done and left undone, the little mother
-did.</p>
-
-<p>It was not until there was a third member
-in the family that the housework was appreciably
-neglected. When the fascination of
-‘dressing baby’ was no longer new to Dot,
-and Peggie, its devoted worshipper, begged to
-add that duty to her others, Dot consented
-with alacrity. And Larrie looked on and
-told himself daily these things ought not to
-be.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.060" id="png.060" href="#png.060"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>48<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>One day there was a very great passage-at-arms.
-Peggie had gone to Sydney for the
-day to spend her month’s wages in a fearful
-and wonderful hat she had long had her eye
-upon, and Dot was left with the whole
-burden of the household upon her shoulders.</p>
-
-<p>Generally on the rare occasions of Peggie’s
-absence, the mother came down and presided
-over the kitchen and the baby, and Dot had
-little else to do than lay the table and help
-to dish up. But to-day Larrie’s wicked conspiracy
-stood in the way.</p>
-
-<p>The mother sent down a little note; it was
-very hot, would Dot mind if she did not come,
-her head was inclined to ache badly? And
-Larrie had ‘business in town’ and would be
-back by the train just in time for dinner.</p>
-
-<p>Dot felt overwhelmed with the responsibilities
-of her position.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think you had better take baby up to
-mother’s first, Larrie,’ she said, ‘I don’t see
-how I am to mind him and cook the dinner
-and do everything.’</p>
-
-<p>‘How does Peggie manage when you’re
-<a name="png.061" id="png.061" href="#png.061"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>49<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>away? My dear Dot, I hope you are not
-going to give me the idea that you are one
-of those women utterly without resource,’
-said my lord Larrie. ‘My sister <span class="nw">Charlotte—</span>’</p>
-
-<p>‘Grace!’ cried Dot, ‘spare me the recapitulation
-of the puddings she could make
-and the wonders she could do at sixteen.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Well, I only wanted to show you,’ said
-Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>He brushed the dust off his shoulders, set
-his straw hat perfectly straight on his head—he
-always wore it tilted forward or stuck
-jauntily back in these wilds—and with a
-paternal kind of kiss to Dot and a grandfatherly
-one to the baby, he departed.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’ll just show him what I can do,’ said
-Dot going kitchenwards. ‘Horrid boy!’</p>
-
-<p>It was six or thereabouts when the ‘horrid
-boy’ returned. He was hungry—amazingly
-hungry—and apart from his experiment he
-really hoped that there was a very nice
-dinner ready. The white tablecloth was on
-the dining-room table and the flowers were
-exquisitely arranged, drooping blossoms of
-<a name="png.062" id="png.062" href="#png.062"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>50<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>wistaria and delicate leaves on a ground of
-pale yellow silk. There were also some
-knives and forks in a heap, two salt-cellars
-and the silver gong. From the bedroom
-came doleful baby wails that filled all the
-cottage. From the kitchen a strong smell
-of burning.</p>
-
-<p>‘Gracious Lor,’ said Peggie.</p>
-
-<p>But ‘Hang it all!’ was her master’s
-remark.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie set her bandbox down and followed
-at his heels into the kitchen.</p>
-
-<p>Dot was standing over the fire. Nearly
-every piece of crockery in the house stood
-dirty upon the table. Egg shells lay about,
-the sugar jar, the currant, the peel, the
-pepper, the flour, and all the store cupboard
-were in evidence. She turned a peony face
-towards them. ‘Dinner’s not ready yet, and
-it’s no use being cross, Larrie, if only you
-knew what a bother I’ve had with the fire.’
-She lifted a saucepan with a groan and set it
-aside.</p>
-
-<p>‘Is there <em>anything</em> to eat?’ Larrie asked in
-<a name="png.063" id="png.063" href="#png.063"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>51<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>a tone not altogether mild. ‘The place
-smells like a crematorium.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot sniffed. ‘Does it?’ she said. ‘The
-meat’s burnt, I couldn’t help it, it burnt
-while I ran in to dress baby, and then a
-visitor came after I put some cakes and a
-batter pudding in the oven, and they burnt,
-there’s a boiled pudding though, it’ll be
-cooked in half-an-hour, and we can have eggs
-for once.’<!-- TN: original lacks closing quote --></p>
-
-<p>Peggie hastened to her bedroom to change
-her very best dress for an old one in which
-she might take command of her region.</p>
-
-<p>‘You really mean to say, Dot, that in all
-these hours you haven’t been able to cook a
-little dinner,’ Larrie began. His chin squared
-itself, his lips closed.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s no good making faces, my good man,’
-Dot said. ‘I’ve cut my thumb, and I’ve
-burnt my wrist, and had sparks in my eyes,
-and now this is all the thanks I get.’<!-- TN: original lacks closing quote --></p>
-
-<p>‘Eggs when a man comes in hungry for
-his dinner!—and a pudding not cooked!
-The <span class="nw">table—</span>’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.064" id="png.064" href="#png.064"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>52<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘<em>Will</em> you go out of the kitchen, Laurence
-Armitage,’ Dot said facing round. ‘Do you
-think I’ve not had enough without <em>you</em>
-beginning?’</p>
-
-<p>‘—The table not set and a crying baby,’
-Larrie went on.</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie, <em>do</em> you want to provoke me into
-throwing a saucepan at your head like an
-Irish washerwoman?’ Dot said.</p>
-
-<p>She took the lid off the potatoes and disclosed
-a pulpy mass boiled out of all recognition.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t profess to be perfect; accidents
-will happen even to the sister Charlottes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s this kind of thing that drives a man
-from his home to seek comfort and pleasure
-elsewhere,’ Larrie said darkly. He really
-felt exceedingly ill-used, and Dot’s heated
-face and worried expression did not appeal to
-him at all.</p>
-
-<p>He even steeled his heart to the little tired
-tremble in her voice that showed the tears
-were near, and all the time came the distracting
-sound of baby’s mournful screams that no
-one had time or inclination to soothe.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.065" id="png.065" href="#png.065"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>53<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘You’re a bad wife, Dot,’ Larrie said, fully
-persuaded she was.</p>
-
-<p>Dot gave a hysterical laugh.</p>
-
-<p>‘All this because your food’s not ready to
-put in your mouth; men are as bad as animals
-in the Zoo when meal time is delayed!’</p>
-
-<p>‘You fail in your duty in every respect,
-look at this kitchen, Dot, think of the dinner,
-listen to your child.’</p>
-
-<p>But Dot, utterly tired and overwrought,
-burst into a passion of tears and brushed past
-him.</p>
-
-<p>‘I h-h-hate you,’ she said, ‘I <em>wish</em> I wasn’t
-married to you, oh I <em>do</em> wish I wasn’t.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And so do I,’ returned Larrie grimly.
-Even dinner did not restore his equanimity,
-albeit he made a tolerably hearty one with four
-boiled eggs, quantities of bread and butter,
-and half a tin of sardines as dessert.</p>
-
-<p>Dot stayed out in the garden and refused
-food entirely.</p>
-
-<p>She wept oceans of tired, hot tears and
-told herself she was the most miserable
-woman on earth. Later, when only her
-<a name="png.066" id="png.066" href="#png.066"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>54<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>eyelashes were wet and the quiet evening wind
-had cooled her cheeks and heart, she still
-wondered why girls all the world over were
-in such a hurry to marry.</p>
-
-<p>She thought wistfully of her careless, unfettered
-girlhood that she had cut so short
-through her own wilfulness.</p>
-
-<p>‘I might have had eight more years,’ she
-whispered to herself, ‘twenty-five is the
-proper age to marry, he would have been
-older and more patient too, and I should
-never have felt like this.’</p>
-
-<p>She put down her head on the old seat
-back and sobbed again heartbrokenly for ‘like
-this’ meant that love was dying.</p>
-
-<p>Then the wind dried her tears once more,
-and she sat staring at a patch of light that fell
-from the dining-room lamp out upon the
-little lawn: she was wondering drearily how
-she should be able to live out all the other
-days of her life.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie stepped out on the verandah, she
-could see the red of his cigar and the dusky
-outlines of his figure.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.067" id="png.067" href="#png.067"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>55<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘Dot,’ he called.</p>
-
-<p>The wind carried his voice over the sleeping
-flowers, and the wet grass down to the broken
-seat and flung it at her. She slipped out of
-her place and stole off towards the piece of
-ground that was still unreclaimed bush; she
-could not bear his presence yet. But he saw
-her white flitting dress and followed.</p>
-
-<p>‘The dew’s as heavy as it can be, you’ll get
-another cold,’ he said, ‘come in.’</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head without looking at
-him.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come in, and don’t be a silly child,’ he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>Again she shook her head and walked on.</p>
-
-<p>But he caught her arm and turned her
-gently but firmly round.</p>
-
-<p>‘I don’t want to have to carry you,’ he
-said. Then he threw his cigar away and
-spoke gravely.</p>
-
-<p>‘Look here, Dot, I’m not going to say anything
-more about this afternoon, we’ll let
-that go, all I want you to understand is you
-must give up being childish, and act in a way
-<a name="png.068" id="png.068" href="#png.068"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>56<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>that befits a married woman. I’m tired of
-this.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot did not speak, she hardly heard the
-words in fact, only the cold tone they were
-spoken in. She wondered vaguely if her love
-had been dying for a long time or if to-night
-was only the beginning. She hoped she
-should not live long, she felt quite glad to
-think the doctor had said she had no constitution;
-how <em>could</em> she go on living if calm careless
-affection was going to take the place of
-the wonderful love that had once made a
-glory of their every hour. They had both
-been incredulous of the existence of such a
-place as the dead level of matrimony—was
-this it indeed they had already come upon?</p>
-
-<p>‘Well?’ said Larrie, ‘I’m waiting, Dot,
-are you going to give it up?’</p>
-
-<p>She gave a little start. ‘What do you
-mean?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Give up being so childish, will you try?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh yes,’ she said dully. That was very
-easy to promise, she felt so old, so very much
-a woman to-night.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.069" id="png.069" href="#png.069"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>57<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Larrie was only half satisfied with that quiet
-‘Yes.’ Where was his little loving eager girl
-gone who would have done anything in the
-world once had he asked it, done it gladly
-and rejoiced at its difficulty, flung her arms
-round his neck and asked to be tried still
-more?</p>
-
-<p>Only that spiritless ‘Yes,’ was her answer
-to-night. He stifled a sigh of bitter disappointment.
-This was <em>marriage</em>, he supposed.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s beginning to rain,’ he said heavily,
-‘go in.’</p>
-
-<p>She turned to go,—they had been standing
-for the last few minutes near the old broken
-seat.</p>
-
-<p>Never yet had they parted after the making
-up of a quarrel without a kiss, and he would
-not omit it now.</p>
-
-<p>But he stooped his head in almost an
-awkward way down to her bent one, and it
-was not the kiss of a lover.</p>
-
-<p>She merely submitted a drooped cheek to
-his lips, and went slowly up to the house alone.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="VI. Larrie the Loafer" ><a name="png.070" id="png.070" href="#png.070"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>58<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER VI<br
- /><small>LARRIE THE LOAFER</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="i16"><span
- class="ns">                                                                </span>‘She had</div>
-<div>A heart—how shall I say? too soon made glad,</div>
-<div>Too easily impressed: she liked what e’er</div>
-<div>She looked on, and her looks went everywhere.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Larrie</span> and Dot had come upon the great
-rock that lies near the beginning of the
-matrimonial path of all those who marry for
-love.</p>
-
-<p>Oh the wonderful capacity they had in
-those days for torturing themselves! Larrie
-used to brood continually in secret over the
-change that had come into their lives; his
-manner grew cold and indifferent and he consumed
-as much tobacco as a man long years
-in the bush, and Dot used to shed hot, angry,
-grieving tears in private and devote herself to
-<a name="png.071" id="png.071" href="#png.071"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>59<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>the management of the house or the baby in
-the time that once she had always devoted to
-her husband.</p>
-
-<p>Once in one of the passionate little outbursts
-she was subject to, she scoffed at him
-for his idleness.</p>
-
-<p>‘No wonder you are so fault-finding,
-Larrie,’ she said, ‘staying at home day after
-day like an old maid. Other husbands don’t
-tie themselves to their wives’ apron-strings as
-you do.’</p>
-
-<p>It was a little unjust of her, this pettish
-speech, though she had received provocation.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie had had a bad illness, a kind of brain
-fever soon after his last law examination, and
-really had been ordered to take a long
-holiday.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are a man of means,’ the doctor had
-said. ‘Travel about, loaf generally for a year
-or two, do anything you like, but avoid
-regular brain work.’</p>
-
-<p>As a first step to a thorough holiday he had
-married Dot, and as his means, divided, would
-<a name="png.072" id="png.072" href="#png.072"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>60<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>not permit of travel, he settled down with an
-easy mind to ‘loaf.’</p>
-
-<p>He used to ride, and fish, and shoot, walk,
-read, and work in the garden generally, but
-there were times when he had fits of superlative
-laziness and did absolutely nothing but lie
-in the hammocks and smoke, or wander about
-after Dot.</p>
-
-<p>At first this state of things had been very
-delightful and idyllic, but after eighteen
-months Dot found it very trying, and used to
-wish sincerely that Larrie went off to business
-in the morning like other men and stayed
-away till evening. She felt certain he would
-appreciate both herself and his home more if
-he did so, and, seeing he was apparently quite
-well and strong, there seemed no reason for
-him not to go.</p>
-
-<p>It was this feeling that had prompted the
-cutting speech about being tied to her apron,
-a garment by the way which she never wore
-on any occasion.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was bitterly offended.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are tired of me, it has come to that
-<a name="png.073" id="png.073" href="#png.073"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>61<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>already,’ he said, and there was such a note of
-pain in his voice that she had slipped her arm
-round his neck in her old impetuous way.</p>
-
-<p>‘It was horrid of me,’ she said, ‘of course
-you have a right to stay at home always if
-you like. Forgive me, Larrie.’</p>
-
-<p>And he had forgiven her after a time, even
-kissed her kindly and told her not to mind.</p>
-
-<p>But the very next day he had taken an
-office in town and sent a man to paint
-‘Laurence Armitage, Solicitor,’ in white
-letters on the door.</p>
-
-<p>All her entreaties now would not keep him
-at home a day, he caught the business train
-at eight o’clock in the morning and the
-evening one home at five.</p>
-
-<p>He was like everyone else’s husband at last,
-and the garden of Eden had become merely
-a cottage with a piece of ground attached.</p>
-
-<p>But oh, such long, long days they were to
-both of them at first.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie, of course, had really nothing to do
-for weeks and weeks. He used to sit on his
-uncomfortable cane chair, put his long legs on
-<a name="png.074" id="png.074" href="#png.074"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>62<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>the window-sill and smoke and think half the
-day. Or he would pin a ‘Back in ten
-minutes’ notice on his door and stroll aimlessly
-about town or drop into the offices of
-other men he knew, and envy them their
-busy air of occupation.</p>
-
-<p>Dot had never thought so many hours
-went to the day before.</p>
-
-<p>Baby slept a great deal, and just beginning
-to teethe, was cross and less companionable
-than usual. The household tasks that she
-took upon herself now did not last long, and
-the little mother did so much sewing for
-everyone in the cottage that there was really
-nothing left for Dot to do, but put on occasional
-buttons and tapes. She resolved to
-let her voice fill up the blank in her life, it
-was her one great gift, and she determined she
-would cultivate it assiduously and then—but
-she had not yet quite decided what difference
-the ‘then’ would make.</p>
-
-<p>The Red Road Country had a little plain
-church at the top of one of its hills, and Dot
-led the singing as a matter of course.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.075" id="png.075" href="#png.075"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>63<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Sometimes she took long solo parts in the
-anthems, and then the ugly barn-like place of
-worship seemed full of glory. Several times
-people had come all the way from the shore
-just to hear the clear, sweet, joyous voice of
-that one little person in the front row. She
-had been asked more than once to join the
-choir of different big churches in Sydney, but
-there was no train service at all on Sunday for
-the line, and Larrie naturally refused to have
-an empty house the greater part of the day
-just because his wife had a voice. Choir
-practices were on Wednesday afternoons, and
-Dot attended regularly now; for one thing
-they helped to pass the time, for another she
-had a genuine desire to have the singing each
-Sunday as good as possible, and knew her
-presence stimulated the other members.</p>
-
-<p>The Red Road Country is growing famous
-for its healthiness. People with land to sell
-in the district and the few boarding-house
-keepers, advertise it as ‘The Sanatorium of
-New South Wales.’ Doctors are beginning to
-send their patients there occasionally, instead
-<a name="png.076" id="png.076" href="#png.076"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>64<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of to the Blue Mountains, and the
-pure, gum-tree<!-- TN: original reads "pure gum-tree," --> filtered air certainly works
-wonders.</p>
-
-<p>Mr Sullivan Wooster had been sent up for
-a month. He occupied a high position in the
-musical world of Sydney. He taught, conducted
-concerts, gave recitals of his own on
-organ and piano, and composed pieces that
-met with high praise in the old world. An
-attack of pleurisy had prostrated him recently,
-and he had come up to the Red Road
-Country for his convalescence, refusing to be
-sent to a more distant place. A Wednesday
-afternoon came a week after he had arrived.
-He was almost dying with the <i>ennui</i> of the
-place; the abounding gum trees were beginning
-to prey upon his very soul. He had
-taken rooms at a cottage where the recommendations
-had been ‘No children, beautiful
-views, and a piano.’</p>
-
-<p>But the daughter of the house had artistic
-yearnings that she longed to impart, a passion
-for waltzes, and a tousled fringe that Wooster
-was always dreading to find detachments of
-<a name="png.077" id="png.077" href="#png.077"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>65<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>in his custards. The healthful Eucalypt on
-hill and dale comprised the view.</p>
-
-<p>Naturally he spent most of his time on the
-Red Road. When he heard voices in the
-little church that afternoon, he strolled to the
-door just for the urgent want of something to
-do. When he heard Dot’s voice, he went in
-and sat down in the extreme back seat, much
-to the discomfiture of a nervous member of
-the choir.</p>
-
-<p>After the practice was over he shook hands
-with the clergyman’s wife who had officiated
-at the little organ. He knew her very well;
-she had found these lodgings for him, and had
-sent him tomatoes on one occasion and some
-of her own orange wine, marvellously nasty
-stuff, on another.</p>
-
-<p>He asked after her husband, praised the
-views, thought the weather would change,
-said nothing bitter about the landlady’s
-daughter, and offered to preside at the organ
-the next Sunday. Then he asked to be
-introduced to the girl with the beautiful
-voice.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.078" id="png.078" href="#png.078"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>66<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>A quarter of an hour later he was walking
-home with Dot.</p>
-
-<p>Her books—she had three of them—were
-his excuse, and the fact that he had been
-walking that way before he turned in at the
-church. All the way they talked music.</p>
-
-<p>Dot’s eyes were bright, her speech eager.
-What a pleasant, unlooked for change this
-was for her!</p>
-
-<p>She knew him well by repute, as indeed
-did everyone in Sydney—she had been to his
-concerts, she played his compositions,—some
-of her friends had been his pupils,—he seemed
-more like an old than a new friend by the
-time they reached the top of the second hill.
-Half way down they noticed the gathering
-clouds; by the time they reached the gate it
-had begun to rain heavily.</p>
-
-<p>Dot did not hesitate a moment. He had
-been ill she knew: a wetting might prove
-serious.</p>
-
-<p>‘You must come in,’ she said, pushing open
-her little gate, ‘come and wait till it clears.’
-She preceded him up the path and sprang up
-<a name="png.079" id="png.079" href="#png.079"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>67<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>the verandah steps into shelter, shaking the
-raindrops off her little short curls and
-laughing breathlessly after the few minutes’
-hurry.</p>
-
-<p>‘What a <em>dear</em> little girl!’ he said to himself,
-following with the utmost gladness.</p>
-
-<p>He had never spent in all his life a
-pleasanter hour than the next one.</p>
-
-<p>His artistic eye was charmed with the
-arrangements of the simple drawing-room, it
-was a real pleasure to run his fingers upon a
-good piano once more—here was all the
-music that made the earth a happy abiding
-place, and above all there was the presence
-of the sweet little girl with short soft curls,
-wide, eager eyes, and a voice truly wonderful.
-Oh the beautiful hour it was!</p>
-
-<p>They had both gone straight to the piano
-as naturally as ducks go to water; they tried
-whole pages of different operas together, and
-went twice through some of the songs, just for
-the sheer pleasure of singing.</p>
-
-<p>Then he played some Beethoven she had
-never found beautiful before, and after that
-<a name="png.080" id="png.080" href="#png.080"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>68<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>she played at his request piece after piece, and
-he was surprised at her culture.</p>
-
-<p>He almost feared once or twice that the
-whole occurrence was an enchanted dream
-which would fade presently.</p>
-
-<p>On his knees at the Canterbury drawer he
-found the score of <cite>Faust</cite> bent open at the
-‘Jewel Song.’ He held it up eagerly.</p>
-
-<p>‘Let me hear you in this,’ he said. ‘You
-sing it?’</p>
-
-<p>Dot nodded joyously and opened it on the
-music holder as he took his seat.</p>
-
-<p>She gave a little cough to clear her throat.
-He stood up, real concern on his face, and
-closed the book instantly.</p>
-
-<p>‘There is <em>nothing</em> so culpable as over-tiring
-the voice; it was criminal of me to let you sing
-so much,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>There was a warm flush on her cheeks and
-her eyes were brilliant.</p>
-
-<p>‘Let us have some tea then,’ she said, with
-an excited little laugh.</p>
-
-<p>She crossed the room and rang the bell
-<a name="png.081" id="png.081" href="#png.081"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>69<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>at the fireplace. Quite a professional look
-was on his face.</p>
-
-<p>‘I do trust you take proper care of your
-voice, Miss Armitage,’ was his really anxious
-remark.</p>
-
-<p>Dot’s eyes flew open, then she laughed
-aloud just as Peggie appeared in the doorway.</p>
-
-<p>‘Tea, please, Peggie, and baby—baby first,’
-was her order.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie departed, surprised displeasure on
-her face: she wondered who was the strange
-gentleman her mistress was on such good
-terms with, and she thought it most inconsiderate
-that she should want afternoon tea
-when there was so much ironing on hand.
-But she slipped a fresh muslin pinafore on
-the baby and put on his best little red shoes,
-before she carried him in to them all warm
-and flushed with his afternoon sleep.</p>
-
-<p>‘I believe you thought I was only a girl,
-Mr Wooster,’ Dot said with a merry laugh as
-she stood up with her beautiful darling in her
-arms for inspection.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.082" id="png.082" href="#png.082"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>70<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Mr Sullivan Wooster was certainly looking
-as thunderstruck as if the pretty bundle of
-muslin, and lace and sweetness she held had
-been a phoenix instead of the dearest little
-baby in the world.</p>
-
-<p>‘I never dreamt,’ he began. ‘I quite
-thought—I certainly imagined Mrs Ingram
-said <em>Miss</em> Armitage; as <span class="nw">well—,</span>’ his eyes
-sought her little bare left hand.</p>
-
-<p>Dot laughed that happy little laugh of hers
-again. She went over to the Canterbury
-and emptied a small Dresden cup upon her
-palm.</p>
-
-<p>‘I always take my rings off before I play,’
-she said, ‘it’s a pernicious habit, I know; my
-husband is always trying to break me of it,
-but I really do it unconsciously. I never can
-play properly with them on.’</p>
-
-<p>After that, of course, he paid dutiful, expected
-court to the baby, and made the
-correct remarks about its eyes and long
-eyelashes and the quantity of its hair. But
-he no longer thought the occurrence an
-enchanted dream that might fade any minute.
-<a name="png.083" id="png.083" href="#png.083"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>71<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>The baby gnawing thoughtfully at its dear
-little shoe as it sat on the hearthrug, while
-Dot poured out tea, gave a surprising air of
-reality to everything.</p>
-
-<p>The rain had not ceased for a moment, so
-there was good enough excuse for Mr
-Wooster’s prolonged stay, but Dot was
-greatly astonished to see Larrie come up
-the path presently, and know it was half-past
-five. She excused herself and slipped out to
-meet him. He came in cold, wet, and cross.
-It struck him how bright Dot’s face was and
-how exceedingly beautiful she was looking as
-she opened the door for him.</p>
-
-<p>‘I have a visitor here, Larrie,’ she said in a
-whisper, ‘be quick and get your mackintosh
-off. It is Mr Sullivan Wooster and he is so
-nice; don’t stay to change your coat.’</p>
-
-<p>But ‘Confound him!’ said Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>He wanted Dot and Dot only just now.
-All the day he had had an unutterable longing
-to take her in his arms and beg her to let them
-start afresh, and make life a beautiful thing
-again. And now there was a visitor here.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.084" id="png.084" href="#png.084"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>72<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘You must ask him to stay for dinner, of
-course,’ Dot said. ‘He’s had pleurisy and
-can’t go home in the rain. It’s lucky there’s
-roast fowl to-day, and I’ll open a bottle of
-those apricots.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was sulkily taking off his mackintosh
-as she talked.</p>
-
-<p>‘What the deuce brought him here?’ he
-said. Dot said ‘H’sh,’ and gave him a little
-poke to remind him of the proximity of the
-drawing-room.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’ll tell you after,’ she said. ‘I must go
-back now, I’ve left him alone with baby, and
-perhaps he’s not educated up to them.’</p>
-
-<p>He went kitchenward to ask for dry boots,
-and Peggie was dishing up. The appetising
-smell reminded him he was too hungry to tell
-her to keep things in the oven on the chance
-of the visitor going. And as he went back
-again up the hall he saw the weather was too
-abominable to turn a dog out. But he said
-‘Confound it’ under his breath outside the
-door, as necessary preparation to pressing Mr
-Sullivan Wooster to stay to dinner.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="VII. A Pocket Madame Melba" ><a name="png.085" id="png.085" href="#png.085"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>73<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER VII<br
- /><small>A POCKET MADAME MELBA</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Out of the day and night</div>
-<div>A joy has taken flight.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Larrie</span> had not yet taken Dot in his arms
-as he had intended that afternoon, and he
-had not asked her to begin afresh, so the
-result was still ‘dead level.’</p>
-
-<p>But Dot was no longer unhappy. Every
-minute of her time was filled, and with a
-real object now in life, she felt she had been
-childish to waste so many hours in weeping
-and dwelling on imaginary differences in
-Larrie’s manner.</p>
-
-<p>She began to teach herself Italian with
-the aid of several grammars, text books,
-dictionaries, and Mr Wooster.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.086" id="png.086" href="#png.086"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>74<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>She practised the most uninteresting vocal
-exercises with unwearied patience, and her
-perpetual singing of scales made Peggie take
-to a permanently closed kitchen door and remark
-in confidence to baby that his crying
-was music to it.</p>
-
-<p>All this because Mr Wooster, musical critic
-and composer, had told her that if her voice
-was carefully cultivated and lost none of its
-wonderful purity and freshness in the process,
-he did not know any singer in Australia she
-would not surpass, that her fame would be
-equal in time to Melba’s or any of the first
-singers of the day.</p>
-
-<p>She did not tell Larrie this new wonderful
-secret that made her heart sing even when
-her lips were silent. She wanted to keep it
-as a grand surprise to him, and in bursting
-out on an astonished world to amaze him also,
-and fill him with pride and gladness at her
-power. He was so used to her voice, had
-heard her chirping, and chirruping, and
-trilling ever since she was five, and though
-of course he loved it as he loved her, it had
-<a name="png.087" id="png.087" href="#png.087"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>75<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>not occurred to him that she was extraordinarily
-gifted.</p>
-
-<p>Naturally he had heard praise and admiration
-and considered them only her due, but
-she had lived so quietly in this lonely Red
-Road country, both before and after her
-marriage, that she had never had the opportunity
-of hearing really competent criticism
-before. Even she herself had not dreamed
-her gift was so rich.</p>
-
-<p>Fond of singing she had always been, it
-came as naturally to her as speech; she knew
-she had the best voice in the district, but that
-was not saying much; and sometimes when
-she had been to concerts in Sydney it had
-struck her that she could render certain songs
-of the performers quite as well as they did,
-if not better.</p>
-
-<p>Mr Wooster’s words had been as a flash of
-lightning illuminating all her future life.
-What dreams she had over the piano as she
-climbed to clear B’s and wonderful birdlike
-upper C’s! How proud Larrie would be of
-her, what fame should be hers, how they
-<a name="png.088" id="png.088" href="#png.088"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>76<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>would travel with the wealth to come, and oh,
-what a brilliant, beautiful future baby’s should
-be!</p>
-
-<p>She told Wooster that she wanted to keep
-the secret from her husband at present,
-and he smilingly acquiesced, so great was
-her happiness in it. In asking Larrie’s permission
-to give a few lessons to his wife he
-only said, as twenty others had done before,
-that her voice was very good indeed and
-would be much improved by training.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie gave his consent half unwillingly;
-Dot’s singing he considered was quite good
-enough for anything, <em>he</em> was quite satisfied;
-but he saw it would seem churlish to refuse,
-and Dot would take it as a fresh instance of
-his ‘tyranny,’ so he allowed the lessons to
-begin.</p>
-
-<p>He was not half so happy as Dot in those
-days. Poor Larrie!</p>
-
-<p>It was very slow, unexciting work sitting
-in a twelve-foot-square office all day, waiting
-for clients who never came.</p>
-
-<p>He had the feelings of an exile, too, whenever
-<a name="png.089" id="png.089" href="#png.089"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>77<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>he thought of the dear little cottage
-where the days had all been short and bright.
-It seemed as if Dot had banished him from
-the little kingdom because she was tired of
-him, and it was real torture to him to notice
-how light-hearted and happy she seemed
-without him, while he was more miserable
-than he had ever been in his life.</p>
-
-<p>Dot could persuade herself both into and
-out of anything she wished with happy
-feminine ease. But with Larrie it was
-different. He was long-headed and his
-reasoning was nearly always excellent, but
-when he had once planted an idea in that
-head of his, it almost required an earthquake
-to uproot it. That was what Dot stigmatised
-his ‘aggravating obstinacy.’</p>
-
-<p>He had upbraided her more than once for
-having what he called ‘moods,’ not being
-always the same to him, having the odd little
-fits of coldness or petulance that most women
-have occasionally, and can never explain
-logically and satisfactorily. But Dot used to
-retort that if she was subject to moods, he
-<a name="png.090" id="png.090" href="#png.090"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>78<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>had ‘tenses’ which were infinitely more
-objectionable.<!-- TN: period invisible in original --></p>
-
-<p>A matter that she would shed a few tears
-over and then dismiss, he would brood over
-until he worked himself up into a state of
-positive wretchedness.</p>
-
-<p>He really could not help himself, it was a
-certain kink in his nature that made him so,
-and the ‘tenses’ were times of misery both
-to himself and Dot.</p>
-
-<p>Once in the early days of the baby, he had
-taken up the notion that Dot cared for it far
-more than she did for him, she was so wrapped
-up in it, and would spare him so little time
-from it.</p>
-
-<p>He had grown absolutely jealous of the
-poor innocent little morsel, and so miserably
-unhappy, that it had needed a domestic
-cyclone and manifest neglect of the child
-before Dot could bring him to a healthy state
-of mind again.</p>
-
-<p>He loved his little sweet wife with a
-passionate fervour and devotedness, that only
-one man in a thousand is capable of.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.091" id="png.091" href="#png.091"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>79<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>She was as necessary to him as the breath
-to his lungs, the blood to his heart. Had it
-been needful, he would have fought the whole
-world single-handed for her sake and never
-felt one of the scars.</p>
-
-<p>But the very strength of his love made it a
-little cruel sometimes, he demanded almost
-too much of her and she could not always
-understand or be patient with it.</p>
-
-<p>And now there was a cloud gathering on
-the domestic sky, and Dot with astonishing
-blindness thought it was a new, wonderful sun
-that was going to cast a warm, beautiful light
-over everything again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, what <em>will</em> Larrie say?’ she exclaimed
-in a fit of eager, childlike pleasure one afternoon
-when she had sung the ‘Jewel Song,’ in
-a way that even Wooster, carping critic as
-he was, could pronounce none other than
-perfect.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her tenderly, he nearly always
-said ‘<em>dear</em> little girl’ to himself when she was
-like that.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think he will say he could not be prouder
-<a name="png.092" id="png.092" href="#png.092"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>80<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of his wife than he is,’ he answered. ‘When
-shall you tell him?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, not yet,’ Dot said. ‘Not yet on any
-account, electric shocks are the salt of life.
-Imagine his face when I lay the programme
-before him, “The Jewel Song—Mrs—Lawrence—Armitage.â€â€™
-Her eyes sparkled,
-she gave one of her happy little laughs.
-‘<em>How</em> I wish the battery was ready!’</p>
-
-<p>Wooster was standing in the window
-looking absently out.</p>
-
-<p>He had a clear cut face, ascetic would describe
-it, only women novelists are credited
-with adoring that word. It was not the face
-of a musician at all, at least it had not the
-liquid dreaming eyes, and wide, massive,
-brow framed in wavy hair that we conjure up
-generally when we speak of a musician’s face.
-It was monkish rather, the lips were clean
-shaved and somewhat severe, the hair very
-short and dark, and the eyes just now merely
-thoughtful. They were brown in colour,
-almost black on occasion, and had perhaps
-even more variety of expression than most
-<a name="png.093" id="png.093" href="#png.093"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>81<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>people’s eyes. In figure he was rather below
-the average height but he bore himself easily.
-‘I would rather you spoke to your husband,
-Mrs Armitage, before the programmes are
-printed,’ he said, unconsciously making
-chords with his fingers on the window
-ledge. It had occurred to him that perhaps
-it was rather a bold step for his pupil to
-be contemplating a public appearance without
-her husband’s knowledge.</p>
-
-<p>‘Not for <em>any</em> consideration,’ Dot said with
-great decision. ‘All I am living for is the
-programme surprise. He shall know two
-days before the concert, not a second sooner.’</p>
-
-<p>Wooster played a chromatic scale with
-his thumb and second finger till he found the
-dust on the ledge made them unclean. He
-pocketed them and turned round.</p>
-
-<p>‘He may consider I am abusing my privileges
-in preparing to bring you out like this,’
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>But Dot cried,<!-- TN: original has spurious paragraph break here -->
-‘Nonsense,’ with haste and impatience.
-‘It is the last thing he would think of,’
-<a name="png.094" id="png.094" href="#png.094"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>82<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>she said; ‘why, he will be delighted, of
-course. He does not dream he has a wife
-talented enough to sing in the Centennial
-Hall before a mighty audience of all musical
-Sydney.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Then you really will not tell him?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is there a stronger word than “No?â€
-One absolute and irrevocable? If there is,
-consider it said.’</p>
-
-<p>He laughed.</p>
-
-<p>‘Suppose my nervous prudence makes me
-present him with the bagged cat.’</p>
-
-<p>‘In that case,’ said Dot, ‘I should take my
-revenge in flat A’s. Have you no regard for
-me?’</p>
-
-<p>He forgot the dust and played another slow
-scale.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="VIII. Pictures in the Fire" ><a name="png.095" id="png.095" href="#png.095"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>83<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER VIII<br
- /><small>PICTURES IN THE FIRE</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘A rain and a ruin of roses</div>
-<div>Over the red rose land.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">May</span> had come in wet and blustering. The
-gum trees waved wild mournful arms up to
-dull skies, the cottage garden was flowerless,
-green, and dripping. Even the creeping roses
-that bloomed eternally, hung crushed and wet
-or dropped their poor spoiled petals on the
-spongy paths.</p>
-
-<p>Three months ago the back paddock had
-been a place of delight for the eye, all tall
-waving lines of Indian corn grown for the
-fowls, there had been poppies amongst it, real
-scarlet English poppies that some one had
-sown, as well as the white and pink garden
-<a name="png.096" id="png.096" href="#png.096"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>84<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>varieties. Dot had hidden there for fun one
-light evening with baby in her arms, and Larrie
-had sought her vainly for half an hour, it was
-so tall and thick. And when he had found
-her she had a wreath of poppies around her
-head, and baby was stuck all over with pink
-ones; the two had looked such darlings he had
-picked them both up in his arms and carried
-them all the way to the verandah hammock,
-and when he dropped them in, had said with
-breathless conviction,</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div>‘There are none like them, none.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>To-day in the paddock there were only
-dead brown stalks and leaves, broken or bending
-before the rain. The poppy days were
-dead and the long light beautiful evenings,
-things of the vanished summer.</p>
-
-<p>Even the hammocks that had swung
-invitingly in the sunshine, lay in tangled
-heaps on the laundry shelf; the verandah
-was in a flood, and gusts of wind and rain
-blew into the house at every fresh opening of
-a door or window.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.097" id="png.097" href="#png.097"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>85<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>There was an iron roof to the cottage, and
-had not Dot’s enthusiasm been so great just
-now, the ceaseless, melancholy drip and beat
-of the rain upon it would have proved too
-monotonous an accompaniment to her songs.
-But in truth she hardly heard it. To-morrow
-she was going to tell Larrie.</p>
-
-<p>The morning post would bring her the
-programme, and two days later the great
-concert was to take place. She danced baby
-round the house in her excitement, such hard
-work it had been to keep her secret when
-there had been no other thought in her head
-for weeks.</p>
-
-<p>She painted a delightful little picture that
-to-morrow was going to frame.</p>
-
-<p>The background was the dining-room with
-the red curtains drawn, and a glowing log in
-the open fireplace; she put baby on the rug
-in his new pale blue frock with the short
-sleeves, and Larrie in the big easy chair with
-his feet on the fender and a pipe in his lips.
-And since in mental pictures the brush may
-depict thoughts, she drew him, thinking
-<a name="png.098" id="png.098" href="#png.098"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>86<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>anxiously of his income which the sudden
-depreciation in the value of property all over
-the colony was just now affecting greatly.</p>
-
-<p>And then she was going to ask him to
-take her to the big concert at the Centennial
-Hall to show him the names on the programme
-in a careless way.</p>
-
-<p>And his face was to grow first amazed, and
-then bright with pride and gladness, and
-the rest of the evening they were to spend
-in making plans for the brilliant future.</p>
-
-<p>How delicious it was going to be! Her
-heart was throbbing with anticipation, her
-very blood seemed leaping in her veins.</p>
-
-<p>But baby objected to be jumped up and
-down in the ecstatic little way she was
-treating him to; he gave vigorous signs of
-annoyance, so she sank into her low chair,
-and rocked soothingly. But she could not
-keep silent when he said with such wise,
-round eyes that he knew everything about
-everything, and was as pleased as herself.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bab-bab,’ he began encouragingly, and
-hit at her with his dear little fists.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.099" id="png.099" href="#png.099"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>87<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>And ‘He should be a little prince, he
-should,’ was her deliciously inconsequent
-answer, punctuated with kisses on his wee
-nose.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bab-bab-bab’—he tried to walk excitedly
-up the front of her dress in a horizontal
-position, and then make gleeful clutches at
-her hair.</p>
-
-<p>But the short little curls slipped through
-his fingers, and he kept tumbling back in her
-lap, a little heap of cuddlesome sweetness.</p>
-
-<p>‘Little son, small little sweet, mamma’s
-boy bonnie,’ she whispered again and again
-and again, her face in his neck or on his soft
-thick hair. That was her way of telling him
-that all the rest of their lives was going to be
-a bright golden dream, a triumphal march
-through the world, over a carpet of rose
-leaves and under a canopy of the bluest sky
-ever stretched out.</p>
-
-<p>The very way he rounded his eyes and
-stuck his fingers in her mouth to be bitten,
-and crowed ‘bab-bab,’ showed how perfectly
-he understood and approved.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.100" id="png.100" href="#png.100"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>88<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>But presently he began to nod like a little
-heavy-headed rose, and she nestled him up
-close to her breast and sang softly, happily
-below her breath.</p>
-
-<p>Drip, drip on the roof fell the rain; splash,
-splash in the path-puddles where the blown
-roses were drowning; tap tap, at the misty
-window panes.</p>
-
-<p>There was a kink somewhere in the rocking-chair,
-it made a not unmusical little
-sound at each backward swing, marking time
-to Dot’s low singing. Baby could not have
-slept properly without that gentle jerk
-between the rise and fall.</p>
-
-<p>The logs fell asunder.</p>
-
-<p>All Dot’s enchanted castles were building
-in the red glow, now they rose up gloriously
-with the blaze, and the gladness in her eyes
-deepened.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bab-a-bab,’ murmured baby sleepily, a
-gleam of blue just peeping through the long
-lashes to discover the noise. But the soft
-singing bore him off again, and the rock,
-rock, rock of the chair.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<a name="png.101" id="png.101" href="#png.101"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>89<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Sweet one hush, little baby sleep,</div>
-<div>Rock-a-by soft on my breast,</div>
-<div>Creep in my hand, little fingers, creep,</div>
-<div>Little dear baby, rest.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>The lashes lay quiet again on the little
-cheeks, one small hand uncurled from Dot’s
-finger, and lay open on her knee. Again the
-logs fell apart, again the castles grew glorious.
-Baby’s hand curled up again, but the sweet
-lashes were too heavy to lift.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘This is the place for a baby’s head,</div>
-<div>And this is the place for its feet,</div>
-<div>Rock-a-by off to the land of bed,</div>
-<div>Lull-a-by, hush small sweet.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>A wild gust of wind flung itself at the
-cottage, every door and window rattled, the
-garden gate clicked and then banged.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="i2hang"><span class="ns">        </span>‘Lull-a-by, sweet,</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">        </span>Rock-a-by, sleep,</div>
-<div>Heed not the rain and the wind, dear,</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">        </span>Watch o’er her sweet</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">        </span>Mother will keep,</div>
-<div>And up in the sky there is God, dear.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p>Some one opened the front door, and the
-sound of the rain grew louder, then the
-<a name="png.102" id="png.102" href="#png.102"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>90<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>dining-room handle was turned. Dot gave
-a little whispered cry of surprise. ‘Larrie!’
-she said, but so softly that baby’s hand never
-stirred.</p>
-
-<p>It was hours before his usual time, and
-never before had he shortened his voluntarily
-imposed exile.</p>
-
-<p>She noticed how exceedingly wet he was,
-there was not a dry thread upon him, the
-water was even now pouring off him and
-making a pool on the floor. Then she saw
-the white passion on his face, the terrible look
-of his lips, his eyes. She laid the child down
-on the sofa cushions and went towards him
-slowly, and with fading colour. What dreadful
-thing was coming?</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie!’ she said, a frightened tremble in
-her voice, as she put out her hands to touch
-him. But the anger in his eyes deepened.
-He went closer to her, he actually grasped her
-roughly by the shoulders and shook her.</p>
-
-<p>‘How <em>dared</em> you?’ he said. ‘How dared
-you?’</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him with parted lips and
-<a name="png.103" id="png.103" href="#png.103"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>91<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>widening eyes. She could find nothing to say
-so intense was her amaze.</p>
-
-<p>‘How dared you?’ he repeated. He shook
-her again to hasten her answer.</p>
-
-<p>But she only said ‘I think you’re mad,’ and
-caught her breath.</p>
-
-<p>He saw he was wetting the shoulders of her
-pretty pink tea-gown with his coat and took
-his hands away.</p>
-
-<p>The genuine surprise on her face disarmed
-him a little, it even occurred to him for the
-first time that he might have the inexpressible
-relief of finding he was mistaken.</p>
-
-<p>His eyes grew a shade quieter and he did
-not speak for a minute.</p>
-
-<p>In the brief interval wifely concern appeared
-on Dot’s face. She put her hand on his wet
-sleeve and tried to move him towards the hall.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come and get dry things,’ she said, ‘<em>how</em>
-wet you are!’</p>
-
-<p>But he would not stir.</p>
-
-<p>‘I want to speak to you,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘When you are dry,’ urged Dot, ‘it can
-wait three minutes.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.104" id="png.104" href="#png.104"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>92<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>He sat down on a chair.</p>
-
-<p>‘Now,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>She sat down, too, just on the edge of the
-sofa by the sleeping child. She was concerned
-because a fly would hover round its face and
-distract her attention.</p>
-
-<p>‘I went to Bayley’s this morning to get
-some notepaper printed,’ Larrie said, and
-paused. But Dot seemed to find nothing
-very remarkable in that, and looked merely
-attentive.</p>
-
-<p>‘There was a proof of <em>that</em> on the counter,’
-he continued, and threw a sheet of old English
-printing on pale green paper towards her.</p>
-
-<p>She started up, vexation on her face.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh <em>what</em> a shame!’ she cried. She read
-it through standing up, and the knowledge
-that all the colours were straightway rubbed
-out of her beautiful picture, made two curves
-of disappointment show at her mouth corners.</p>
-
-<p>‘Then it <em>is</em> your name?’ said Larrie, and
-his voice sounded positively faint.</p>
-
-<p>Dot brightened a little. ‘Of course it is,’
-she said, ‘I wish you hadn’t seen it though;
-<a name="png.105" id="png.105" href="#png.105"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>93<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>I was dying to surprise you, Larrie.’ Then
-she went up closer to him. ‘Aren’t you
-going to kiss your own pocket Madame
-Melba?’</p>
-
-<p>She felt how flat the scene had fallen even
-as she spoke, and was fit to cry at the disappointment.
-Then she remembered Larrie’s
-anger a few minutes back, ‘But what made
-you so cross?’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘How dare you do such a thing?’ he said,
-his eyes beginning to blaze again, ‘how dare
-you; this comes of letting that infernal
-fellow come to the house so much.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You mean Mr Wooster?’ Dot was beginning
-to fear for her husband’s sanity.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s his concert, you are singing at his
-instigation, you have kept it hidden from
-me.’ His voice rose.</p>
-
-<p>‘Of course I have,’ Dot said. Then she
-spoke very slowly, ‘Do you really mean to
-say, Larrie, that all this is because I am going
-to sing on Friday?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Friday!’ shouted Larrie, he had actually
-not seen the date, so absorbed had he been
-<a name="png.106" id="png.106" href="#png.106"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>94<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>in the sight of his own name on that green
-paper, with Mrs prefixed.</p>
-
-<p>‘Because I’m going to sing on Friday?’
-repeated Dot.</p>
-
-<p>With a superhuman effort he controlled
-himself; he knew the impotence of anger.</p>
-
-<p>‘Tell me <em>everything</em>,’ he said shortly, ‘and
-stand there.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot was moving towards the sofa again.
-She came back to him to save time though
-the tone was provocative; she knew that he
-would have held her by sheer physical force if
-she refused while he was like this. Then she
-told him the very high opinion Mr Wooster
-had of her voice; how he felt confident
-she had but to be heard by competent critics
-to be assured of success, how he had arranged
-this concert to give her the opportunity and
-how she had been keeping the secret just to
-surprise him. He heard her to the end and
-acquitted her of concealing it for any unworthy
-motive.</p>
-
-<p>‘But I should not dream of allowing you to
-appear in public,’ he said, ‘so you can tell
-<a name="png.107" id="png.107" href="#png.107"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>95<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Wooster as soon as you like that he must
-fill your place.’ He stood up as if the matter
-was settled, he even took off his hat and
-remarked that it was wet.</p>
-
-<p>But Dot had gone very white.</p>
-
-<p>‘You mean to say, Larrie, that you would
-try to stop me now?’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘I mean to say I <em>shall</em> stop you, there will
-be no trying about it,’ he answered.</p>
-
-<p>His temper had not perfectly balanced
-itself again, and that together with the unpleasant
-dampness he was just beginning to
-feel, made his speech somewhat despotic.</p>
-
-<p>‘Your reasons?’ Dot’s voice was quiet,
-dangerously so.</p>
-
-<p>‘I do not care for my wife to sing in a
-public place like that, I don’t approve of the
-way the thing has been managed, I don’t
-like you having so much to do with that
-fellow, that is quite enough,’ he moved to
-the door. ‘Where’s that old brown coat of
-mine, I hope you haven’t given it away.’</p>
-
-<p>But Dot was sitting on the sofa again,
-fighting with herself far too fiercely to think
-<a name="png.108" id="png.108" href="#png.108"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>96<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of old brown coats, indeed, the question conveyed
-no intelligence to her at all. Out of
-twenty conflicting emotions, rebellion was by
-far the strongest. She said, ‘I shall go, I shall
-go,’ again and again and again in such stormy
-whispers, that baby stirred and tossed the
-linen antimacassar off his hands. Larrie had
-gone to get dry.</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall go,’ she repeated with strong
-emphasis on the last word.</p>
-
-<p>‘Bab, bab, bab,’ said baby softly. He
-yawned deliciously and flung up his arms.</p>
-
-<p>Dot gave him a hurried pat or two.</p>
-
-<p>‘Go to sleep,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Googul,’ he answered insinuatingly. He
-struggled into a sitting position and leaned
-towards her. But she lifted him on to her
-knee quite unresponsively. There was
-nothing in her mind but Larrie’s command
-that meant death to her rose-coloured dreams.
-She hardly recognised baby’s presence at all.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is not my master,’ she said aloud, her
-eyes full of rebellion.</p>
-
-<p>But ‘Yes he is,’ answered Larrie quietly, as
-he came in again through the second door.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="IX. A Conflict of Wills" ><a name="png.109" id="png.109" href="#png.109"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>97<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER IX<br
- /><small>A CONFLICT OF WILLS</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div>‘What things wilt thou leave me,</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">    </span>Now this thing is done?’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Wednesday</span> loosened itself from the other
-pearls and dropped off the string of days into
-the strange awful place where have fallen all
-the days that have ever been. Thursday slid
-along the thread, trembled and fell. Friday
-moved on to fill its place. Such a little time,
-and it too, and the things of it would be gone
-beyond recall for ever.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie had grown visibly thinner in the
-short space. He was staking all the happiness
-of his life on the issue of this. To him
-the thing was almost terrible in its plain
-simplicity. He had looked at it from every
-<a name="png.110" id="png.110" href="#png.110"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>98<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>point of view, had reasoned it out and thought
-of nothing else, all through the two waking
-nights and the long day between. And he
-could only see two paths for Dot to walk in,
-one that was right and would lead to happiness
-once more, and one that was so utterly
-wrong that she would step into it not carelessly
-and unknowingly, but wilfully and with
-wide open eyes.</p>
-
-<p>It could only be love that would make her
-do another man’s bidding rather than his.</p>
-
-<p>From that second path he told himself
-there could be no return.</p>
-
-<p>Dot went about with a feverish look in her
-eyes, and lips almost as set as Larrie’s own.
-She was going to make this strike for her
-rights, and in future have the independence
-due to the nineteenth century married
-woman.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie spoke of the irrevocableness of the
-step. To him it was as grave as life and
-death. But deep in Dot’s heart was the
-knowledge of her power over him. She
-called to mind all the quarrels of their wedded
-<a name="png.111" id="png.111" href="#png.111"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>99<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>life—had he not always forgiven her? Even
-the times when he had not been the first to
-make up, her tears and grief had made his
-arms open for her immediately. She only
-whispered this to herself, it made her a little
-ashamed to think of trading on it.</p>
-
-<p>Then out loud she told her conscience
-several things.</p>
-
-<p>First, that this was only one of Larrie’s
-aggravating fits of opposition, and when he
-got over it and knew what a name she had
-made for herself, he would be glad she had
-not taken him at his word.</p>
-
-<p>Second, that since her gift was so great, it
-would be wrong not to give the world the
-benefit of it, she remembered the scriptural
-napkin-wrapped talent.</p>
-
-<p>Third, that it would be sheer ingratitude
-after all Mr Wooster’s trouble, to spoil his
-concert at the last minute.</p>
-
-<p>And fourth, that no one literally interpreted
-that word ‘obey’ in the marriage service, now
-that the equality of the sexes was recognised.</p>
-
-<p>It was merely a relic of darker ages when
-<a name="png.112" id="png.112" href="#png.112"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>100<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>woman had been little more than a chattel;
-the progress of the century had made it
-elastic, before long it would be removed
-altogether.</p>
-
-<p>On Friday they had eggs for tea. At least,
-Peggie had put a stand on the table, with
-bread and butter, and other eatables, but
-they were both too agitated to do more than
-crack the tops, and take salt and pepper on the
-edge of their plates. This was to be the last
-chance. Peggie removed baby, and looked
-anxiously at the quiet young couple as she did
-so. She was afraid there was something really
-serious this time, so pale was her master’s face,
-so brilliant Dot’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well?’ Larrie said heavily.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m going,’ answered Dot. ‘I’ve got my
-dress ready, and made all arrangements, it’s
-too late to stop now.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie swallowed some tea and went even
-whiter. This was the final wrecking of their
-lives. ‘Dot, I <em>beg</em> of you to think of it again,’
-he said.</p>
-
-<p>She slipped from her chair and went to his
-<a name="png.113" id="png.113" href="#png.113"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>101<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>end of the table. ‘Darling, let me go!’ she
-said, ‘see, I beg of you—you could give in
-and let me, and then it wouldn’t be disobedience.’
-She put her arms round his
-neck, her flushed cheek against his, ‘Dear
-old Larrie, do! I have set my heart on it so!
-do let me go happy, dearest, dearest!’</p>
-
-<p>If only at that minute she had said she
-would give it up, he could almost have let
-her go, greatly as he disliked the publicity
-for her, and the connection with Wooster.
-But he could not help mentally finishing her
-last sentence—‘Or I shall have to go unhappy.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I can’t,—you must see I can’t,—how can
-I, Dot? it is impossible,’ he said. But she
-clung tighter.</p>
-
-<p>‘Once you loved me too well to refuse
-me such a thing, my husband, don’t let
-me think I am so little to you now.’ He
-tried to put her away, but her arms held him.</p>
-
-<p>‘Darling, let me,’ she begged, ‘let me, let
-me,’—the tears were running down her cheeks.
-‘I will be so good afterwards, oh this is everything
-to me, Larrie,—Larrie, don’t be cruel to
-<a name="png.114" id="png.114" href="#png.114"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>102<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>me, I must, must go—oh, darling, let me, let
-me.’</p>
-
-<p>He was making a promise to himself to be
-kept faithfully, since he saw how very much
-this was to her. If she would give in now,
-say she would give in as a true wife should
-to her husband, he would let her go, he would
-even take her himself, for it would prove she
-did not put that man before him.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dot,’ he said, and lifted her on to his
-knee and held her hands tenderly in his own,
-‘you must obey me in this, can’t you see you
-must, my darling? Perhaps I have been
-harsh or unkind about it. Yesterday I <em>told</em>
-you to obey me, now I <em>ask</em> you, my darling,
-my little girl, Dot, little, little wife. Say you
-will.’</p>
-
-<p>But she only stirred restlessly.</p>
-
-<p>He put his face down to hers.</p>
-
-<p>‘Darling, think of our happiness, how can
-we go on living if you persist in breaking up
-everything like this. There <em>must</em> be a head,
-Dot, in everything, there must be obedience.
-What would a ship be without a captain, or
-<a name="png.115" id="png.115" href="#png.115"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>103<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>soldiers without their chief, an office with no
-one in authority? And the husband <em>must</em> be
-the head of the wife. Darling, say you will
-obey me in this.’</p>
-
-<p>But Dot could not. All her pleading had
-gone for nothing, why should she listen to
-Larrie’s? She moved his arms away and
-stood up, her eyes dry and bright again.</p>
-
-<p>‘You have refused me the only thing I have
-ever asked specially since we were married,
-Larrie,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will stay?’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘You profess to love me, and then you act
-like a tyrant to me. Why should you always
-have <em>your</em> way in things?’</p>
-
-<p>There was a red spot on her cheek.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will obey me, Dot?’</p>
-
-<p>She walked restlessly up and down the
-room. She moved some ornaments on the
-mantelpiece and put the curtains straight
-with trembling fingers. She remembered
-she ought to be dressing even now. In two
-hours the concert would begin, and if she
-gave in her opportunity would be gone for
-<a name="png.116" id="png.116" href="#png.116"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>104<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>ever, and just because Larrie was obstinate
-and stupid!</p>
-
-<p>Baby’s ivory rattle, still wet from his
-mouth, lay on the sofa. She picked it up
-and put it in her work-basket. Then she
-altered the position of two photographs on
-the mantelpiece. She moved one of Larrie’s
-silver cups—in it there was a green programme
-crumpled up into a ball.</p>
-
-<p>‘Dot, you will obey me?’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I will <em>not</em>,’ she said passionately. ‘I
-am tired of being told to do things. I want a
-little liberty as well as you. I will <em>not</em> spoil
-my future just because you want to be a petty
-czar.’</p>
-
-<p>She crossed to the door. A flame sprang
-up in Larrie’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will be sorry to the end of your life
-if you go,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I shall be glad,’ said Dot.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie came in to know if they wanted hot
-water, or if the master would have another
-egg. She was really too anxious to keep
-away.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.117" id="png.117" href="#png.117"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>105<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘I’ve got a nice brown one, laid to-day, sir,’
-she said persuasively.</p>
-
-<p>He shook his head impatiently. The
-woman looked over to Dot, standing with
-the door handle in her hand, ‘Shall I fetch
-the baby for you?’ she asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ said Dot sharply.</p>
-
-<p>So she went out to the kitchen again, and
-looked grave as she lifted baby from his high
-chair, where he was perfectly happy with a
-saucepan lid and a tin spoon.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>That</em> obstreperous,’ she said, and sighed.
-Then she added, ‘poor man,’ under her breath.</p>
-
-<p>Someway she generally sided with Larrie
-at such times, though she was devotedly fond
-of Dot.</p>
-
-<p>‘I’m going to dress,’ Dot said from the
-door.</p>
-
-<p>‘How do you propose getting there?’ He
-did not look at her as he spoke.</p>
-
-<p>She twisted the handle. ‘Of course I had
-expected you would come. As it is I have
-sent word to mother, she is coming down
-in the buggy for me at seven. Mr Wooster
-<a name="png.118" id="png.118" href="#png.118"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>106<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>is going there for dinner, he will drive. No,
-mother doesn’t know; I only said you couldn’t
-come.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie got up and walked to the window;
-he could not answer her.</p>
-
-<p>She looked at his big square back for a
-minute and the short-clipped curls on his
-head. Then she turned and went away to
-dress. Only a thin partition separated her
-bedroom. He heard every sound as he stood
-in the window, the opening and shutting of
-drawers, the plashing of water, her hurrying
-steps across the floor, the creak of the wardrobe
-door. Every minute he thought she
-would repent and come in to him, his own
-sweet, small wife again; then the thought
-became a hope, and when the wardrobe
-creaked the hope died, and there was almost
-a prayer instead. But the door opened and
-she came in fully dressed.</p>
-
-<p>It was her wedding dress she wore, the
-white, trailing, exquisite silk she had knelt
-beside him in at the altar eighteen months
-ago. It was cut a little low now, and showed
-<a name="png.119" id="png.119" href="#png.119"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>107<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>her white, soft neck and chest; her arms were
-bare between the shoulder puff and glove top.</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie,’ she said with a little cry, ‘oh, let
-me, Larrie!’</p>
-
-<p>But he stood still.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>That</em> dress!’ he said hoarsely.</p>
-
-<p>In very truth she had not thought of the
-associations of it as she had slipped it on to-night
-in excitement and anger.</p>
-
-<p>‘You—you know I had it made into an
-evening dress,’ she faltered.</p>
-
-<p>‘But for this!’</p>
-
-<p>‘I had nothing else to wear.’</p>
-
-<p>He turned from her one minute, then back
-again, and looked at her with wrathful eyes.
-He had a wild impulse to force her to stay, to
-compel her to obey him by the superiority of
-his physical strength. Was she not his wife,
-his property, did she not belong to him till
-death? He almost thought he would get a
-whip and beat her, beat her savagely. She
-would love him better he felt certain; he told
-himself there was more truth than half the
-world dreamt in the saying that wife-beaters,
-<a name="png.120" id="png.120" href="#png.120"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>108<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>always provided they are neither drunk nor
-brutal, are best beloved by their wives.</p>
-
-<p>But he knew in a calmer mood he would
-despise himself for doing it, and he felt, too,
-how imperfect would be the victory.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are going?’ was all he said, and ‘Yes,’
-she answered.</p>
-
-<p>Wheels sounded a little distance off, they
-both knew what it was.</p>
-
-<p>‘As surely as you go, Dot, you will repent
-it.’ Larrie spoke slowly, quietly, his face was
-deathly pale.</p>
-
-<p>She was trembling from excitement, there
-was a vague fear in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘What would you do?’ she said with a
-little nervous half laugh.</p>
-
-<p>‘I would never forgive you, never have
-you for my wife again,’ he answered, and
-his face looked as if he meant it.</p>
-
-<p>She shivered a little, but held her head
-proudly. ‘Perhaps you would be glad of
-the excuse,’ she said, with a pitiful attempt
-at scorn.</p>
-
-<p>He did not speak. The buggy rattled up
-<a name="png.121" id="png.121" href="#png.121"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>109<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>to the door, they heard Wooster’s voice
-checking the horses, the mother’s saying
-she would not get out as it was so late.</p>
-
-<p>‘Why don’t you go?’ he said coldly, seeing
-she stood perfectly still.</p>
-
-<p>‘I—’ she said. It was the sound of a sob
-strangling in her throat.</p>
-
-<p>He would not help her though her eyes
-were speaking imploringly. If he had put
-his arms round her that minute and begged
-her as at tea to stay, even now she would
-have given it up. But he stood like a rock,
-his face hard, his chin square, his lips bitter.</p>
-
-<p>The bell rang, and Peggie’s heel-down
-slippers went up the hall.</p>
-
-<p>Dot moved a step nearer to him.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>Ask</em> me to stay, Larrie,’ she whispered,
-and this time the sob would not be strangled.</p>
-
-<p>But he turned right away from her.</p>
-
-<p>‘I would rather die than ask you again,’
-he said with passion in his voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr Wooster,’ said Peggie cheerfully.</p>
-
-<p>She had quite beamed at the man when
-she opened the door, the quarrel would have
-<a name="png.122" id="png.122" href="#png.122"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>110<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>to be smoothed over now a guest was
-here.</p>
-
-<p>But five minutes later Dot came out into
-the hall, her train a yard behind her, a great
-white fur-trimmed cloak around her.</p>
-
-<p>There was a beautiful angry colour in her
-cheeks, a defiant light in her eyes; but her
-lips were saying smiling things. Mr Wooster
-was behind with a roll of music and an
-opossum rug.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie watched them through the front
-door and down the steps, she saw Dot lifted
-in beside her mother and well tucked up;
-she watched the buggy lamps flash passing
-out of the gates and disappear round a curve
-in the road. Then with quite a weight at
-her kindly heart, she went in to see if the
-‘poor master’ wanted anything. But he
-was standing in the middle of the room with
-folded arms, and such a look on his face,
-that she shut the door softly behind her, and
-went away.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="X. A Darn on a Dress" ><a name="png.123" id="png.123" href="#png.123"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>111<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER X<br
- /><small>A DARN ON A DRESS</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Come in at last,</div>
-<div>Inside the melancholy little house</div>
-<div>We built to be so gay with.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">It</span> was raining again, and there was that
-sound of wind in the trees that only the
-Australian bush knows. Eastward, stars were
-out in the sky, but, from the south, blue-grey
-masses were drifting up to the low rain cloud
-that had put out all the lights of the southern
-cross, and only left the two pale pointers.
-An hour ago the sky had been blue, for there
-was a great moon, but now the rain had
-washed all the colour out of it, and it
-was dull grey with midnight cloud banks.
-On the cottage roof and in the garden there
-<a name="png.124" id="png.124" href="#png.124"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>112<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>were patches of pale light from the drenched
-moon, but all the bush beyond was black as
-death.</p>
-
-<p>‘Don’t come in,’ Dot said.</p>
-
-<p>She leaped down from her seat before
-Wooster could put down the reins to open
-the gate and drive in.</p>
-
-<p>‘She’ll get wet,’ the mother cried.</p>
-
-<p>But the white figure went hurrying up the
-drive, all its long silken train down on the
-wet gravel.</p>
-
-<p>There was a lamp alight in the drawing
-room, and a circle of white from it lay on a
-pool at the end of the verandah. But the
-long French windows were closed. Dot beat
-on the window panes with wet fingers.</p>
-
-<p>‘We may as well get home,’ said the
-mother, seeing her safe. But Wooster only
-picked up the reins.</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie!’ the sharp whisper came through
-the rain to the gate; the little metallic sound
-was made by her rings on the glass.</p>
-
-<p>Then the door opened and Larrie drew her
-into the room, the blind fell down from its
-<a name="png.125" id="png.125" href="#png.125"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>113<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>pin at the movement, and now there was only
-a bar of light on the verandah.</p>
-
-<p>‘It’s very cold,’ said the little mother with
-a shiver. And Wooster turned his eyes away
-and drove her home.</p>
-
-<p>Dot went forward almost blindly towards
-Larrie, but he moved backwards, and she took
-two more steps but he fell back again. The
-room was small and he was against the wall
-now, but he put his arms behind him and
-stood sideways; he knew she wanted to put
-her head on his breast and cry. The attitudes
-would have looked almost comic, only something
-prevented it.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wasn’t a success,’ she said with a great
-sob.</p>
-
-<p>He did not speak or move a muscle.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, I <em>am</em> so miserable,’ she said. Her
-arms went out towards the stiff figure, but he
-moved again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie!’ she cried, exceeding longing and
-misery in her voice.</p>
-
-<p>But he let the cry die away into the midnight
-silence and he let her drop down on her
-<a name="png.126" id="png.126" href="#png.126"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>114<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>knees by the sofa and sob her young heart
-out on the piled cushions. He had frozen
-altogether during the hours of waiting.</p>
-
-<p>Once she looked up during her bitter
-weeping.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are hard,’ she said, ‘cruel—like
-a rock, what can I do? I was wrong, I am
-sorry, sorry, sorry, I didn’t even succeed. I
-was too miserable, oh, how cruel you are!
-what <em>can</em> I do? I will do anything, <em>anything</em>,
-oh, Larrie, Larrie, Larrie, don’t be hard, when
-I’m down, Larrie, and broken, and sorry, and
-miserable—oh, it is cruel, cruel.’ Her sobs
-choked her, there were wet warm patches on
-the green cushion, her eyes were drenched,
-she was shivering with excitement and
-misery. There was another great silence
-broken only by her passionate weeping.</p>
-
-<p>Then she lifted her head again.</p>
-
-<p>‘I <em>can’t</em> bear it,’ she said wildly, ‘for God’s
-sake, say something, I shall go mad if you
-stand there like that any longer. How unmanly
-you are!—oh, how cruel!—Larrie,
-kiss me. Oh, darling, darling, forgive
-<a name="png.127" id="png.127" href="#png.127"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>115<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>me—my husband, my darling, kiss me, kiss me,
-<em>kiss</em> me!’</p>
-
-<p>The last words died away with almost a
-wail, for though he looked at her all the time
-he did not move nearer to her and his eye
-took no softer light.</p>
-
-<p>Then she dropped her head on the
-cushions again, with her arms flung round
-them and he stood watching her, and away
-down in the East the stars went out, and
-the sickly creeping light was the new
-dawn.</p>
-
-<p>When Dot stood up she was stiff, and
-chilled to the bone. She was no longer
-sorry, all the aching for a loving word and
-kiss had gone, she was only very very tired
-and very cold. She looked at Larrie with
-eyes heavy and indifferent, if he had come
-and kissed her then she could not have
-responded or warmed in the slightest degree.
-She drew her wrap closer about her bare
-neck and arms and shivered again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Well?’ she said dully.</p>
-
-<p>But he went and brought a rug from the
-<a name="png.128" id="png.128" href="#png.128"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>116<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>hall stand and put it around her before he
-answered.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think you had better go to bed now,’ he
-said, ‘we can talk to-morrow.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No, now,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is very late,’ he put back the blind and
-disclosed the grey struggling dawn. ‘It is
-four o’clock, to-morrow will do.’</p>
-
-<p>But she sat down on the sofa where the
-green cushion was quite dry again.</p>
-
-<p>‘If you have anything to say, say it now,’
-she said, ‘it is too late for bed now, what is it
-you are going to do?’</p>
-
-<p>There was a curious look of suffering on his
-face and in his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think I had better go away,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>Dot only stared at him.</p>
-
-<p>‘There seems no other way, I have thought
-of everything; there is nothing else left.’</p>
-
-<p>‘You mean separate?’ she asked.</p>
-
-<p>He nodded. She bit her lip, but was
-surprised to find how easily she kept calm.
-She waited for him to continue.</p>
-
-<p>‘You could stay here—it needn’t be talked
-<a name="png.129" id="png.129" href="#png.129"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>117<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of, your mother would look after you. I’ll go
-to Melbourne or Coolgardie or somewhere.’</p>
-
-<p>‘For always, you mean?’</p>
-
-<p>‘We could see, perhaps it would look
-differently afterwards—for the present I
-mean—we can’t go on living together, and
-I can’t see anything better to do.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot’s eyes grew hard. ‘If you go,’ she
-said, ‘I will never live with you again. But
-I don’t ask you not to go.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, it is the best thing,’ he said, which
-answered his own thoughts rather than fitted
-in with her words.</p>
-
-<p>She looked at him strangely. ‘When were
-you thinking of going?’</p>
-
-<p>‘To-morrow,’ he said, ‘to-day, rather. There
-is no use in delaying—I arranged everything
-to-night—last night.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Very well,’ Dot said, ‘that is settled then.’
-She pulled the cloak up tightly and rose,
-then she loosened it again and sat down.
-Her eyes were cold, her lips very firm.</p>
-
-<p>‘Remember,’ she said ‘this is final. I
-committed a fault—perhaps. I cannot do
-<a name="png.130" id="png.130" href="#png.130"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>118<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>more than ask your forgiveness. Do not
-think I shall be put away and taken back at
-pleasure. Go—I would not put out my
-finger to keep you, but never again so long
-as both of us live will I be your wife in anything
-except name.’</p>
-
-<p>He sat down on the chair near the little
-writing table, the light was full on his white
-face and lips.</p>
-
-<p>‘I can only see a little way,’ he said.
-‘Later—say in some months—we will decide
-further: feelings change wonderfully, perhaps
-I shall look at your act—differently; if we
-live together I can’t; it would always look the
-same. It is best, I can see. We <em>couldn’t</em>
-just go on living as before. I couldn’t, at
-least, so I will go, for a time at any rate,
-and you—you will be glad to be alone I know.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Yes, I shall be glad,’ Dot said with great
-steadiness.</p>
-
-<p>Baby’s portrait smiled at him from the
-stand on the table.</p>
-
-<p>‘There is the child, of course,’ he said
-heavily.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.131" id="png.131" href="#png.131"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>119<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Dot sprang up. Husband had been so far
-before child that she had forgotten there was
-any one else in the world. But she remembered
-now.</p>
-
-<p>‘He is mine,’ she said, ‘mine, of course,
-there is no question about that. What are
-you thinking of? you can go if you like, but
-he is mine.’ Her eyes glittered.</p>
-
-<p>He had known this would be the worst
-difficulty; him she gave up easily—gladly even,
-but the child she would fight for to the last.</p>
-
-<p>His anger came to white heat again.</p>
-
-<p>‘<em>I</em> shall keep the child,’ he said slowly, ‘he
-is mine equally, he will be better with me.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot laughed hysterically. ‘The mother
-always keeps it in these cases. I believe you
-are going mad, Larrie.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I believe I am,’ he said very quietly.</p>
-
-<p>He pulled up the blind for want of anything
-else to do, and the dawn struggled in and
-took away the brightness of the lamp.</p>
-
-<p>It was only this minute he had really meant
-to keep the child, his first idea had been
-merely to go away and leave them, not
-<a name="png.132" id="png.132" href="#png.132"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>120<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>altogether, perhaps as he said, but until he
-could find life bearable again.</p>
-
-<p>But when he saw how quickly she consented
-and how her only care was to keep
-the child, he told himself he would move
-heaven and hell before she had it.</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall keep it,’ he repeated, ‘it is not a
-question of a mother’s care, any nurse I get
-will know more about it than you do—I
-shall keep it. You have chosen your life,
-you can go on the stage altogether if you like,
-but I shall not let you have the child.’</p>
-
-<p>In all he said he would not degrade either
-of them by the mention of Wooster’s name,
-but there was nothing else in his thoughts,
-and only everything else in the world in hers.</p>
-
-<p>A great weariness came to Dot, a weariness
-of all her present life. She dropped her chin
-on her hands, and stared out at the pale,
-creeping light. Her heart was quite cold,
-she did not seem to care about anything in
-the world. She looked at Larrie and away
-again. A tiny darn on her skirt caught her
-eye and she stared at it fixedly.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.133" id="png.133" href="#png.133"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>121<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>It lifted all her tired thoughts back to the
-day it was made and pushed the present out
-of sight. It was her wedding morning, and
-she had put on the dress, she remembered
-she had said it was a ‘holy’ dress, it was so
-purely white and billowy and beautiful.</p>
-
-<p>And she had dressed very early, for Larrie
-had been unorthodox enough to want to see
-her before she came up the aisle to him.
-And when she saw him coming up the path,
-looking oddly uncomfortable in his tall new
-hat and frock coat, she had flown down the
-hall and into his arms. And at the same
-minute the gate had clicked to admit a string
-of relations eager to fall on the bride, and he
-had picked her up in his arms, sweeping
-train and veil and all, and whisked her upstairs
-on to the landing to have her to himself
-for the last few minutes before he had her
-for ever. The darn had been necessary,
-because in the quick passage up a fold had
-caught in a splinter in the bannisters, made
-by her travelling trunk.</p>
-
-<p>To-night she saw Larrie looking at the
-<a name="png.134" id="png.134" href="#png.134"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>122<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>mud on the hem. She imagined herself
-without the darn, without the dress, without
-the wedding.</p>
-
-<p>It was eighteen months out of her life,
-that was all; all the wish she had on earth
-just now was to wipe out that time and be
-a girl again.</p>
-
-<p>She had tried marriage, and it had been
-a failure for them both; Larrie was right,
-the plan he offered was the best to be found;
-the vulgarity and misery of publicity she
-could not have borne, but there was no
-reason why they should not quietly set each
-other free, and go on their separate ways
-again.</p>
-
-<p>There was the child of course. She knew
-nothing about law and supposed Larrie had first
-right, since as she had often said to him the law
-always gave the man the best of everything.
-And cold, utterly tired and miserable as she
-was, she told herself she did not mind very
-much. She could not put away those
-eighteen months as if they had never been, if
-the child was always before her eyes to remind
-<a name="png.135" id="png.135" href="#png.135"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>123<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>her of them. She promised herself she would
-go to Italy or Germany with her mother and
-give up her life to music, she had only failed
-through nervousness and misery last night,
-the future was full of glorious possibilities.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was speaking again, there was a look
-of judicial fairness in his eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Since we have both an equal right to him,’
-he said, ‘we will draw lots if you like.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Very well,’ she said coldly.</p>
-
-<p>‘Will you let me make you some coffee
-first, you will be taking cold,’ he looked at her
-quite without anxiety. ‘I can make up a fire
-in the kitchen in five minutes.’</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ she said, ‘get some paper. There are
-some backs of letters in the blotter.’</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="XI. A Question of Ownership" ><a name="png.136" id="png.136" href="#png.136"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>124<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER XI<br
- /><small>A QUESTION OF OWNERSHIP</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘And laid her face between her hands</div>
-<div>And wept (I heard her tears).’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p>‘<span class="smcap">See</span>, they are ready,’ Larrie said. He had
-folded the slips of paper up into two little
-square pieces. ‘Will you draw or shall I?’</p>
-
-<p>‘What have you put on them?’ Dot asked.</p>
-
-<p>‘L and D,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘You could have put baby on one and left
-the other blank,’ she said, ‘and then I could
-have drawn one and left the other.’ She
-gained half a minute by the statement.</p>
-
-<p>‘It comes to the same,’ he said, and held
-them out to her on the Japanese pen
-tray.</p>
-
-<p>But she looked at the little pieces as if they
-<a name="png.137" id="png.137" href="#png.137"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>125<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>had been dynamite; a faint colour stole up
-into her cheeks, her eyes dilated.</p>
-
-<p>‘Draw,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>She put out her hand and drew it back
-again trembling like a leaf and empty.</p>
-
-<p>‘Wait a minute,’ she said with a little gasp.
-She covered her eyes for a second, then, suspiciously,
-‘how do I know you have not
-marked one so you may know it?’</p>
-
-<p>‘If you draw it will make no difference,’ he
-answered patiently.</p>
-
-<p>She put out her hand again and touched
-them, first one and then the other.</p>
-
-<p>‘I <em>know</em> I shall draw the wrong one,’ she
-said in a choking voice, she turned them over
-and examined them with pitiful criticism.</p>
-
-<p>‘What did you make this one narrower
-than the other for?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Is it?’ he said and looked.</p>
-
-<p>His hand was not trembling at all, but in
-his heart there was a great aching for his
-little son.</p>
-
-<p>‘I think I had better draw and have done
-with it.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.138" id="png.138" href="#png.138"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>126<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>The quick movement of her hand again
-showed her trust in him was not all it might
-have been—her fingers closed and unclosed
-round the wider piece. Her cheeks were
-burning, her breath coming in little quick
-pants.</p>
-
-<p>‘Get it over, Dot,’ he said very gently.</p>
-
-<p>She shut her eyes, her hand groped
-forward, her face grew very white. Then
-she unclosed her fingers and showed both
-little slips lying in her palm.</p>
-
-<p>‘I <em>won’t</em> do it that way,’ she said with
-sudden passion, ‘as if he were a cushion in a
-bazaar, or a lottery ticket. You ought to be
-ashamed of yourself, Larrie.’ She tore the
-paper into a hundred fragments and looked at
-him with wide, angry eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘But how shall we decide?’ he said heavily.
-He put the little tray back on the table and
-mechanically replaced the pens and paper
-knife, the darning needle and broken bit of
-coral he had emptied from it a few minutes
-ago.</p>
-
-<p>‘He shall decide himself,’ she said. She
-<a name="png.139" id="png.139" href="#png.139"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>127<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>got up and went towards the door. ‘Write
-two more pieces of paper, and he shall draw.’<!-- TN: closing quote invisible in original --></p>
-
-<p>Larrie wrote L and D again with a heavy
-J nib, and again folded them up; then he
-followed his wife.</p>
-
-<p>She was standing by the cot in an inner
-room looking down at the little sleep-flushed
-face. One little curled up hand was flung out
-on the counterpane, the other, with a thumb
-still wet, was drooped just below his chin.
-Damp little rings of hair lay on his forehead,
-his lips were apart, his long eyelashes motionless.
-Larrie came in on tip-toe.</p>
-
-<p>‘You can’t wake him,’ he said in a low
-voice.</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head, there was almost a
-fierce look in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘What will you do then?’ he asked.
-And ‘Wait,’ she returned.</p>
-
-<p>He brought a wicker chair to the bedside
-for her, a stiff-backed one for himself.</p>
-
-<p>They sat and watched in utter silence till
-the sun kissed the grey dawn white. Then
-the child stirred, flung off the blanket, sighed—and
-<a name="png.140" id="png.140" href="#png.140"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>128<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>slept again. Dot had gone pale as
-death, and even Larrie’s heart had beaten
-faster. But they composed themselves again,
-and watched without speaking. And blue
-was born in the sky, and the white tossed
-itself into cloud shapes that a wind drove
-over the sky to the west. Away at the back
-a gate banged, there was a sound of the contact
-of a tin and milk jug on the verandah.
-Then the gate fell to again.</p>
-
-<p>Baby uncurled his hands, sighed and
-changed his cuddled-up side position for one
-flat on his back. Then he opened his
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘Are you ready?’ Larrie said in rather a
-thick voice.</p>
-
-<p>But Dot looked at him indignantly. ‘Wait
-till he is awake and knows what he is doing,’
-she said.</p>
-
-<p>He was laughing up at them, holding up
-his arms. There was some soft fur at his
-mother’s neck that he was convinced would
-be good to eat, he had a desire also to pull
-the crisp curls on his father’s head.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.141" id="png.141" href="#png.141"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>129<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘Goo—goo—goo,’ he said, with an impatient
-kick and an adorable smile.</p>
-
-<p>How white Dot was! How Larrie’s hand
-trembled as he picked up the tray!</p>
-
-<p>‘He is awake now,’ he said in a low voice.</p>
-
-<p>‘Let them be quite even,’ Dot returned,
-with an agitated look, ‘of course he will take
-the nearest one.’</p>
-
-<p>Larrie arranged them with mathematical
-precision, then put the tray near the little
-baby hands. For one wild second, Dot looked
-away, she could not have watched, then a
-low, mirthless laugh from Larrie recalled her
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>The child had taken the two without
-a moment’s hesitation, and stuffed them
-instantly into his little open hungry mouth.</p>
-
-<p>The diversion occupied some little time for
-both knew that paper was bad for infantile
-digestion, but the touch of humour about it
-did not strike either, or divert them from the
-tragedy they were bent upon.</p>
-
-<p>‘How <em>are</em> we to settle it?’ Larrie said
-wearily.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.142" id="png.142" href="#png.142"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>130<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Dot lifted the child suddenly up on the
-pillow,—there was a look of resolution in her
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘We will both hold out our arms,’ she said,
-‘whomever he goes to shall have him; it is
-the fairest way.’</p>
-
-<p>They bent down to the little fellow, father
-and mother, with faces that would whiten,
-and arms that trembled despite themselves.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come,’ they both said.</p>
-
-<p>One little roseleaf hand buried itself in
-Larrie’s curls, one clutched the fur at Dot’s
-neck.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come,’ they said again, and this time there
-was a desperate look in Dot’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p>He looked gravely from one to the other
-and loosened his hold of their separate persons.
-There was a thoughtful expression in his eyes
-though his lips smiled. He half turned to
-Dot, and the intense look of her mouth relaxed
-faintly. But then suddenly he stretched
-out his arms and with a rapturous little leap
-flung himself at Larrie.<!-- TN: period invisible in original --></p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="XII. A Little Diplomat" ><a name="png.143" id="png.143" href="#png.143"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>131<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER XII<br
- /><small>A LITTLE DIPLOMAT</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Alas to be as we have been,</div>
-<div>And to be as we are to-day.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">For</span> a few days life was a confused tangle;
-then to prevent themselves going mad, each
-assiduously tried to pick out the beginning of
-a new thread to follow.</p>
-
-<p>Dot was up at the house, she had the little
-sitting-room and bedroom of her girlhood
-again, and she had sent to Sydney for a parcel
-of new music.</p>
-
-<p>Strange wisdom came to the little anxious
-mother. That it was really a serious quarrel
-this time she could not help acknowledging,
-and at first could hardly restrain herself from
-flying down to the cottage and upbraiding
-<a name="png.144" id="png.144" href="#png.144"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>132<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Larrie vigorously. But then again she knew
-her child had been to blame as well, and felt
-that interference just at the present stage of
-things would work harm. A little time apart
-she told herself, would do them both good, so
-she remained strictly neutral, and though her
-heart ached sometimes at the sight of Dot’s
-unhappy eyes and carefully smiling lips, she
-made no obvious attempt to bring about a
-reconciliation. She did not even throw cold
-water upon Dot’s wild plans that embraced an
-instantaneous sale of the house and a voyage
-to Italy.</p>
-
-<p>Dot had all the trunks and portmanteaus
-in the house carried into her bedroom, and
-began to pack her own and her mother’s
-favourite possessions into them.</p>
-
-<p>‘This might be useful on board,’ she would
-say, putting in a huge workbasket or writing
-desk, or ‘You would miss this, even in Italy,’
-taking down an old print of the Madonna
-and Child that had hung in her mother’s
-bedroom as long as she could remember.</p>
-
-<p>The family solicitor was visited. Dot was to
-<a name="png.145" id="png.145" href="#png.145"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>133<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>come in to about £3000 by the terms of her
-father’s will when she was twenty-one. She
-arranged for a sufficient advance of it to take
-her mother and herself to Italy.</p>
-
-<p>‘You will like to go, of course,’ she said to
-her mother, ‘you are losing your spirits
-staying in this wretched place year after year.
-Travel is just what you need, isn’t it now,
-small woman?’</p>
-
-<p>The mother acquiesced; she would like the
-voyage very much, but she could not be
-ready quite as soon as Dot wished. She must
-have six weeks at least to settle about the
-house and different business matters.</p>
-
-<p>Dot chafed at the delay, she had wanted to
-take passages in a boat that went the very
-next week, and to leave any arrangements to
-the solicitor, but the mother for once held
-her own.</p>
-
-<p>The cottage was to be let, but until a tenant
-was found, Larrie was compelled to stay there
-with the baby and Peggie who had thrown
-in her fortunes with the child, and regarded
-her master and mistress as being for the time
-<a name="png.146" id="png.146" href="#png.146"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>134<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of unsound mind. She treated Larrie with
-cold severity, and no words could express the
-scorn she felt for the absent Dot. But on
-the baby, she lavished all the tenderness of
-her nature, and told it half-a-dozen times a day
-that it was a poor deserted lamb, and if she
-was the law she would handcuff ‘them two’
-so fast together they could not move apart
-the rest of their lives.</p>
-
-<p>The third day of Dot’s residence at the
-house, Mr Wooster came. He had called at
-the cottage, but Peggie had informed him
-her mistress was up at the house. So he
-turned his steps uphill. Dot talked a great
-deal and seemed in an excited mood, but he
-had no suspicion of the real state of affairs,
-and merely thought she was spending the
-afternoon at her mother’s.</p>
-
-<p>But he was staying in the district again for
-his health, and when he came the next
-evening with a promised book for the little
-mother, she was there again.</p>
-
-<p>She was sitting at a table with a quantity of
-paper books and maps spread out before her.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.147" id="png.147" href="#png.147"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>135<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘I am deciding which way to go home,’
-she said, in answer to his questioning glance,
-‘you have often said I ought to study in
-Italy.’</p>
-
-<p>He thought she was doing it for a pleasant
-mental recreation and only smiled.</p>
-
-<p>‘We go in about a month. Did not mother
-tell you?’ she said, and followed up a dotted
-line through the Red Sea with a careful pen.</p>
-
-<p>He looked the surprise he felt. So friendly
-had he become with Dot and the little
-mother, that he felt quite hurt to be so tardily
-informed.</p>
-
-<p>‘Mr Armitage is fortunate to be able to get
-away,’ was all he said and there was a little
-stiffness in his voice.</p>
-
-<p>Dot went slowly overland from Brindisi to
-Calais, then she looked up.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, he is not fortunate,’ she said, ‘for he
-cannot get away at all. I am going alone—at
-least, mother and I are going.’</p>
-
-<p>‘And your little boy of course?’</p>
-
-<p>Dot yawned with discernible difficulty.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh,’ she said lightly, ‘children block the
-<a name="png.148" id="png.148" href="#png.148"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>136<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>road to success, besides I must leave him as
-compensation to my husband while I hunt for
-fame.’</p>
-
-<p>He was too amazed to speak. Larrie had
-struck him as certainly the one other man
-in the world capable of fully appreciating the
-worshipfulness of this dear little girl. And
-to hear he was content to part with her like
-this after only eighteen months!</p>
-
-<p>He felt a sudden contempt for Larrie and
-an overwhelming sorrow for himself; what a
-very sweet little child she was with those soft
-flushed cheeks and wide darkening eyes!
-And to think there was a lifetime of hunger
-for one man because he could never touch
-one of those soft, boyish curls, and the other
-who had all of her, held her so lightly.</p>
-
-<p>‘I suppose you think it is a mad quest
-after my failure,’ she said, finding him
-silent.</p>
-
-<p>But he disclaimed that. He was as assured
-of her ultimate success as ever, and knew
-that it was only through nervousness that she
-had failed to win immediate recognition. As
-<a name="png.149" id="png.149" href="#png.149"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>137<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>it was, several of the best critics had spoken
-of her hopefully.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, you will succeed of course,’ he said,
-quietly. He did not look at her, he was
-thinking, wondering whether he should be
-able to do without travelling too when
-Australia no longer held her.</p>
-
-<p>Then he wished hair shirts were sold by
-modern mercers, and thanked God she was
-going. He talked cheerfully of the route,
-advised the best places for study, the best
-masters, offered letters of introduction, and
-all manner of things.</p>
-
-<p>The talk stimulated Dot, her eyes and
-cheeks grew bright; two hours ago the ache
-at her heart had been intolerable, but the
-thought of Italy and music was easing it
-greatly.</p>
-
-<p>From her corner, her needle in a wee
-muslin pinafore, the little mother looked at
-them with troubled brows. This kind of
-thing was inimical to the baby, to Larrie, to
-all of them, she almost wished her little girl
-had been born without music in her soul.
-<a name="png.150" id="png.150" href="#png.150"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>138<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>Then something made her catch her breath
-and pale suddenly under the brown of her
-skin. She had seen and interpreted the look
-of strange wistfulness in Sullivan Wooster’s
-eyes, and it made her heart grow cold. Dot
-looking up from her plans met his earnest gaze,
-and for some inexplicable reason blushed; the
-little mother in the corner said ‘God’ below
-her breath—she was not a woman of strong
-expressions, but her thoughts had leapt to
-terrible possibilities.</p>
-
-<p>When Wooster rose to go, she went downstairs
-with him; they had been all the evening
-in Dot’s little sitting room.</p>
-
-<p>‘You want me?’ he said half way down the
-hall, for her large eyes were speaking. They
-went into the drawing-room and he waited
-for her to speak, hat in hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘I do not think this place is good for you,’
-she said gently.</p>
-
-<p>He looked down at the little fragile woman,
-her worn, lined face and great sad eyes were
-infinitely beautiful to him.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.151" id="png.151" href="#png.151"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>139<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘No place ever agreed with me better,’ he
-said, puzzled.</p>
-
-<p>Her lips grew severe.</p>
-
-<p>‘It does not agree with you,’ she said very
-quietly.</p>
-
-<p>Then he understood what the anxious eyes
-were saying, and was inexpressibly shocked
-that she should have guessed what he hardly
-allowed himself to know. For a moment he
-could find no words, he stood before her with
-bent head and paling face, then he looked up
-and saw grief and tenderness were in her face
-as well as anxiety. Terrible though the thing
-was, the little brown faced woman whom the
-waves of life had so buffeted, was sorry for
-him, her eyes grew humid, she put out her
-thin, tiny hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is not good for you,’ she repeated very
-softly.</p>
-
-<p>He lifted the hand to his lips and kissed it
-reverently.</p>
-
-<p>‘No,’ he said, ‘it is not good for me. I
-will go.’</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="XIII. Dot Goes Baby-Lifting" ><a name="png.152" id="png.152" href="#png.152"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>140<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER XIII<br
- /><small>DOT GOES BABY-LIFTING</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Me do you leave aghast</div>
-<div>With the memories we amassed?’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Dot</span> had picked up a book in morocco covers.
-It was lying on the sitting room table with a
-dozen others and she took it at random. The
-little mother was persisting in bringing the
-conversation round to the baby this evening,
-for the new fear in her heart would not allow
-her to let things take their own course any
-longer. She dwelt on his hair, the funny
-little habit he had of drawing in his lips, the
-dimple that dented one little cheek just below
-the left eye.</p>
-
-<p>So Dot took up a book to show she was too
-much occupied for conversation, but her lips
-<a name="png.153" id="png.153" href="#png.153"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>141<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>were trembling. They had hitherto eschewed
-this subject entirely.</p>
-
-<p>The book might easily have been any of
-the twelve others, but it happened to be
-Browning. She turned over the leaves, then,
-as that mechanical action did not quieten the
-little mother, she was forced to read.</p>
-
-<p>And the very words Larrie had marked for
-her once quite years ago when they had only
-been engaged and used to play at quarreling!
-It was a finger nail mark and ran along one
-whole verse.</p>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Love, if you knew the light</div>
-<div>That your soul casts in my sight,</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">    </span>How I look to you</div>
-<div class="i2"><span class="ns">    </span>For the good and true.</div>
-<div>And the beauteous and the right,</div><!-- TN: original has apparent pen mark here, but could be emdash -->
-<div>Bear with a moment’s spite</div>
-<div>When a mere mote threats the white.’</div><!-- TN: closing quote invisible in original -->
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="noindent">A great tear splashed down upon it. Dot
-wiped it off with a hasty hand, she was angry
-because the coldness and bitterness around
-her heart were melting. But two more fell,
-and two again, a host of little sweet recollections
-<a name="png.154" id="png.154" href="#png.154"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>142<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>of their married and unmarried life
-came thronging unbidden. How could she
-bear life if on every hand episodes of the
-dead days were going to rise up in this
-way?</p>
-
-<p>Dear tender eyes watched her from the
-corner.</p>
-
-<p>‘He looked ill, my darling,—as if he had
-not slept or eaten for a week,—I saw him at
-the <span class="nw">station—</span>’ the soft voice paused for a
-minute.</p>
-
-<p>‘It is nothing to me,’ was the cold, piteous
-answer.</p>
-
-<p>‘He hadn’t his obstinate look at all,—when
-he saw me he looked suddenly as if he was
-going to cry, then he turned round and
-walked up the road again quickly.’</p>
-
-<p>Dot saw his face, the quick softening of
-his mouth and eyes. She could hear his very
-footsteps going away.</p>
-
-<p>‘I shall never forgive him while I live,’ she
-said, but she had crept round to the chair in
-the dim corner and was feeling for her
-mother’s arms.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.155" id="png.155" href="#png.155"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>143<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>They drew her down, down,—two women
-were rocking and crying just out of the reach
-of the lamplight.</p>
-
-<p>Half an hour later they were hurrying
-down the hill to the cottage. Dot’s eyes
-were tender, the great peace of forgiving was
-in her heart; she was going to her husband,
-the one man in the world who was all her
-own and God-given,—between them what
-question could there be of pride?</p>
-
-<p>Two hundred yards from the gate she
-stopped, there was a fallen tree worn smooth
-with years of sitting upon.</p>
-
-<p>‘Wait here, little mother,’ she said; ‘let
-me go alone. Then we will come back and
-fetch you.’</p>
-
-<p>She pressed on by herself, a tender smile
-parted her lips. Larrie thin and sleepless!
-Larrie aching for the touch of her hand—Larrie
-whose love was so desperate he could
-not help being cruel!</p>
-
-<p>She crushed herself through the broken
-palings at the bottom of the bush paddock,
-then she crept along in the shadow of the
-<a name="png.156" id="png.156" href="#png.156"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>144<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>trees, up through the garden till voices floated
-down to her and stopped her. Laughter came
-from the verandah and smoke, and there were
-two decanters on a little table, with a flickering
-lamp.</p>
-
-<p>Larrie was entertaining two bachelor friends
-and was holding a pipe with one side of his
-mouth, and with the other telling a late
-witticism of a Supreme Court judge. The
-men had come up about taking the cottage,
-and almost suspected a domestic crisis; Larrie’s
-forced spirits deceived no one but Dot in
-the shadow of the pepper trees.</p>
-
-<p>She felt frozen with shame and horror.
-This was the man she would have humbled
-herself for! She turned to go back in silence
-the way she had come. But on the verandah
-there was a sudden movement; someone had
-discovered it was half-past eight, and being a
-Thursday evening the last train went down
-in eight minutes. They had their hats
-and sticks in ten seconds, and were halfway
-down the path. Larrie went with
-them.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.157" id="png.157" href="#png.157"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>145<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘I’ll see you safe in,’ he said, ‘we’ll have
-to run for it.’ His shadow fell at Dot’s feet,
-then raced him down the road leading to the
-station.</p>
-
-<p>Dot breathed freely once more, then with
-steady steps she went up the path and round
-the verandah to Peggie’s window.</p>
-
-<p>The woman was on her knees by the bedside,
-reading the <cite>Bulletin</cite> by candlelight.
-She always abstracted it from the dining-room
-on Thursdays, the moment Larrie laid
-it down, for she had a strange passion for
-political caricatures, though to her knowledge
-she had never seen a Member of Parliament
-in her life. To-night she was convulsed over
-a minister of the crown portrayed in an eye-glass
-and ballet skirts.</p>
-
-<p>Dot crept in through the back door and
-went on tiptoe down the hall to the second
-room there. She made a warm bundle of
-the baby with the cot blankets and a New
-Zealand rug, then she went out into the hall
-again, holding it close to her happy breast.
-Larrie had left the front door just ajar, so she
-<a name="png.158" id="png.158" href="#png.158"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>146<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>stole out noiselessly and walked down the
-path to the gate.</p>
-
-<p>The next minute she was fleeing up the
-road again to her mother, the burden in her
-arms the lightest thing in the world.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="XIV. The Wheel in the Brain" ><a name="png.159" id="png.159" href="#png.159"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>147<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER XIV<br
- /><small>THE WHEEL IN THE BRAIN</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="i4"><span class="ns">        </span>‘Mine, mine—not yours,</div>
-<div>It is not yours but mine,—give me the child’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">It</span> was half-an-hour before Larrie came back
-and found the tossed, empty cot. He strode
-out of the house again, and up the hill in a
-fury of passion.</p>
-
-<p>Out of the train into which he had seen
-his friends, Wooster had stepped and gone
-at quick speed, straight up the road leading to
-the house. Larrie was not to know it was
-intended for the last visit of a lifetime. He
-resisted the inclination to follow and slay
-him outright, and went home instead—to
-find Dot had been there and taken away the
-child.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.160" id="png.160" href="#png.160"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>148<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>A second jealousy sprang up in his heart,
-jealousy of his own little baby son. He could
-imagine the pass to which Dot had come,
-imagine the heart hungerness that had
-prompted this. But it was all for the child—none
-of the aching and longing had been for
-himself. The front door of the house was
-open, he went straight through the hall and
-upstairs two steps at a time to the sitting-room.</p>
-
-<p>Dot was sitting rocking alone in the firelight;
-the little mother had gone to a sudden
-case of illness in a cottage near, and Wooster
-had taken her.</p>
-
-<p>The child’s little soft head lay against her
-breast, she held both its bare little feet in her
-hand. There were tear-wet places on her
-cheeks, and the eyes that looked down on
-the child were full of tenderness, but her
-lips were rather tightly closed. She could
-not forget the verandah, and Larrie’s burst of
-laughter.</p>
-
-<p>He strode across the room.</p>
-
-<p>‘Give me the child,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>Her arms closed tightly round it.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.161" id="png.161" href="#png.161"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>149<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>‘He is mine, mine,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Give him to me,’ he cried again.</p>
-
-<p>She sprang to the door her eyes gleaming,
-her hands holding the little soft body with
-desperate firmness. But he was before her,
-he looked down at her with white face, and
-eyes blazing with scorn.</p>
-
-<p>‘You are not fit to hold him,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>She was moving across to the second door
-clasping her burden convulsively.</p>
-
-<p>‘I will die before you shall have him,’ she
-said passionately.</p>
-
-<p>‘No you will not,’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>His words came slowly, there was a horrible
-note in his voice, ‘There is—your lover, you
-know.’</p>
-
-<p>She turned and looked at him, incredulous
-horror in her wide eyes, her arms loosened
-their hold a little, she went a step towards
-him. But the light of madness in his eyes
-increased, he tore the child from her arms,
-and carried it away with him out into the
-night.</p>
-
-<p class="fivestar">· &nbsp; · &nbsp; · &nbsp; · &nbsp; ·</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.162" id="png.162" href="#png.162"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>150<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>He went slowly down the hill he had come
-up in such wild haste. He had not felt the
-night wind before, but now it blew chillily on
-his burning forehead and quietened the fever
-in his blood. He took off his coat and
-wrapped it round the child, which lay warm
-and sleepy and quiet against his shoulder all
-the way.</p>
-
-<p>There had seemed to be a strange wheel
-working in his brain lately, it had gone at a
-maddening rate during his short interview
-with Dot. But something in the great hush
-of the grey-blue night stopped it for a time
-and a sudden calmness and power of reasoning
-came to him once more.</p>
-
-<p>When he reached the cottage he put the
-child down again in the cot and covered it up
-warmly. Then he walked about staring at
-his misery. He knew it had grown utterly
-past bearing. Everything in the place spoke
-of Dot, spoke loudly and insistently, the
-silent piano, the dead flowers in the vases,
-the foolish little red watering pot on the
-verandah nail, the small garden boots in the
-<a name="png.163" id="png.163" href="#png.163"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>151<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>hall corner with the red clay of the roads
-dried on the heels. When he poured out his
-coffee at breakfast time he shuddered because
-he saw beside him the little dear bright face
-that was not there—when he helped himself
-to an egg he could not eat it, because the
-stand held only two, instead of the by custom
-sacred three.</p>
-
-<p>That was the warm old jacket on the
-second hall peg that she always slipped on, to
-sit outside with him for his smoke, the big
-poppy trimmed hat beside it, still kept the
-shape of her head in its crown. He could
-not get away from it all. His eyes too refused
-to give up the picture of her they had seen
-to-night, the tender innocent face, the pure
-eyes, the trembling lips. Half-past ten
-brought the very end of his endurance, his
-bitterness and his unbelief.</p>
-
-<p>It had taken all these six days for his brain
-to grow clear and healthy again; with the
-lifting of the strange cloud came the sudden
-horror of the thing he had done, a shame at the
-shame he had heaped on her. He found
-<a name="png.164" id="png.164" href="#png.164"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>152<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>responsibilities that were his, he remembered the
-tenderness and watchfulness and love which
-her eighteen years demanded, he saw with
-lightning clearness that it had been sheer
-insanity that had distorted a simple friendship
-and shamed them both.</p>
-
-<p>He took up his hat to go out again. He
-would go and beseech her forgiveness though
-he told himself of course, she could not
-possibly give it. Still he would entreat her.</p>
-
-<p>Then the strange wheel began again in his
-head, and as he walked a new hot swinging
-sensation there, made him almost unconscious
-of what was going on for minutes together.
-He took off his hat and went on blindly, there
-were two shrinking figures in the shadow by
-the fence but he did not heed them.</p>
-
-<p>He knew quite well now what was going
-to happen to him, he was getting that same
-brain fever again, he had had two years ago;
-it accounted for everything.</p>
-
-<p>He found a strange comfort in the knowledge.
-He was going to Dot—by the time he
-got to the lights and voices of the house he
-<a name="png.165" id="png.165" href="#png.165"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>153<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>knew his senses would have gone and his illness
-come upon him, his danger would touch
-her little tender heart and she would forgive.
-He even saw a vision of his convalescence and
-white beautiful days beyond.</p>
-
-<p>Then he came to the lights and people of
-the house, and before the little mother could
-speak a word, the danger came upon him and
-the need of forgiveness.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="chap">
-<h2 title="XV. Sullivan Wooster, Gentleman" ><a name="png.166" id="png.166" href="#png.166"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>154<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>CHAPTER XV<br
- /><small>SULLIVAN WOOSTER, GENTLEMAN</small></h2>
-
-<div class="poetry-container">
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="stanza">
-<div class="hangpunct">‘Feel where my life broke off from thine</div>
-<div>How fresh the splinters keep, and fine,</div>
-<div>Only a touch and we combine.’</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-</div>
-
-
-<p class="noindent"><span class="smcap">Dot</span> felt the emptiness of her arms. Then
-she remembered the bitterness and horror of
-her humiliation.</p>
-
-<p>To nearly all human beings there come
-during the course of life some moments of
-complete madness and irresponsibility—Dot’s
-came upon her now.</p>
-
-<p>She was on her knees by the window;
-sometimes she beat her head against the
-wood-work—wild tears were coursing down
-her cheeks, sobs of impotent anger choked
-her.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.167" id="png.167" href="#png.167"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>155<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Wooster came up the staircase alone, the
-little mother had sent him to say good-bye,
-and to tell Dot she could not leave the sick
-woman for an hour. The sitting room door
-was open.</p>
-
-<p>‘Great heavens!’ he said, and sprang to
-her side in alarm, ‘you are ill—God!—what
-is the matter with you?’</p>
-
-<p>Her sobs ceased, she turned her head and
-regarded him strangely, her eyes wet and
-brilliant seemed to pierce him. Then she
-laughed the most terrible little laugh in the
-world. ‘Why, you do love me after all!’
-she said.</p>
-
-<p>He fell back against the wall, utterly undone,
-his eyes seemed the only living part of him.</p>
-
-<p>‘I didn’t believe him,’ she continued in the
-same tone.</p>
-
-<p>‘Who?’ his lips said, after a long pause.</p>
-
-<p>‘Larrie.’</p>
-
-<p>‘My God!’ he cried.</p>
-
-<p>He could hardly breathe, the figure kneeling
-by the window was only a confused blur to
-him.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.168" id="png.168" href="#png.168"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>156<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>The choking sobs began again.</p>
-
-<p>He walked up and down, wildly.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where is your child?’ he said, stopping
-at the end of the room.</p>
-
-<p>She sobbed, and laughed and choked.</p>
-
-<p>‘He took it, he has taken everything, and
-isn’t it queer, I don’t care in the very least?’</p>
-
-<p>He stayed at the end of the room, the table
-and several chairs between them.</p>
-
-<p>‘He thinks I love you?’ he said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh yes.’</p>
-
-<p>She began to beat her head again.</p>
-
-<p>‘Stop—how can you—for God’s sake, stop!’
-he was at her side, trying to draw her from
-the cruel wood.</p>
-
-<p>‘I believe you love me as much as he did at
-first,’ she said—he was offering her a handkerchief
-for the little bleeding wound on her
-head, and had to look at her—‘Don’t you?’</p>
-
-<p>‘My God, <em>no</em>,’ he burst out, ‘what are you
-dreaming of?’</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, but you do,’ she cried, and laughed
-again.</p>
-
-<p>He had moved her from the wall and she
-<a name="png.169" id="png.169" href="#png.169"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>157<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>could not beat her head. She got up from
-her knees, and went nearer to him.</p>
-
-<p>‘I wish you would take me away,’ she said.</p>
-
-<p>‘Remember you have a husband,’ he
-answered, very coldly.</p>
-
-<p>There was a scarlet colour on her cheeks, a
-very fire in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>‘No, I have not, he has cast me off, I have
-no one, no one, oh, you <em>might</em> take me away,’
-her voice broke into a cry.</p>
-
-<p>‘Where?’ he said, and trembled violently.</p>
-
-<p>‘Anywhere, <em>anywhere</em>, just so I can never,
-never see him again as long as I live.’</p>
-
-<p>He moved towards her, all his strength had
-gone, he was shaking like a leaf. A minute
-ago he had been one of the best men on God’s
-earth. Now, the suddenness and awfulness of
-the temptation swept everything away for the
-time but overmastering love for this woman.
-He put out his hand.</p>
-
-<p>‘Come,’ he whispered.</p>
-
-<p>Two minutes later they were fleeing together
-down the long Red Road that Larrie
-was coming up.</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.170" id="png.170" href="#png.170"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>158<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>They passed him half way, he was carrying
-his hat, and going straight forward, not looking
-to right or left.</p>
-
-<p>The meeting only added fuel to Dot’s fire.</p>
-
-<p>‘Hurry,’ she cried, pressing on breathlessly,
-‘hurry.’</p>
-
-<p>When they neared the cottage she was
-limping wretchedly. He stopped suddenly
-and looked down at her little house shoes.</p>
-
-<p>‘The heel has come off,’ she said dismayedly.</p>
-
-<p>It was really a catastrophe, for they were to
-have gone two miles further, and then tried to
-get a conveyance of some sort.</p>
-
-<p>‘Perhaps I could walk without them,’ she
-said, and slipped one off, ‘Oh, do come on.’</p>
-
-<p>There was a light burning in the dining-room
-window of the cottage.</p>
-
-<p>‘Couldn’t you go in and get a pair?’ he
-asked, but she shuddered and shook her
-head.</p>
-
-<p>‘I am afraid,’ she said—‘of Peggie.’</p>
-
-<p>‘Sit down here then,’ he said, and found
-her a seat on some piled wood by the roadside.
-‘I will try to take the other heel off.’</p>
-
-<p><a name="png.171" id="png.171" href="#png.171"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>159<span class="ns">]<br
- /></span></span></a>Dot smothered an exclamation.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie herself was leaning over the little
-side gate fifty yards away, and the figure of
-the district butcher was discernible on the
-footpath.</p>
-
-<p>‘You could go in yourself,’ he whispered,
-‘and get wraps as well.’</p>
-
-<p>‘I am afraid,’ she said again, and looked
-at the lamplight with strange eyes. ‘There’s
-a pair in the hall stand box.’</p>
-
-<p>He opened the gate very quietly and went
-over the grass; she saw him push open the
-half closed front door, and go into the hall.</p>
-
-<p>Peggie’s voice came over the garden beds.</p>
-
-<p>‘Get out with you,’ she was saying to her
-lover. Dot watched her with frightened
-eyes, for no quick shadow fell on the lighted
-patch near the door.</p>
-
-<p>How long he was! Perhaps he could not
-find the shoes, perhaps Larrie had flung them
-out. It might be he was looking for another
-wrap for her.</p>
-
-<p>‘Ga’rn,’ said Peggie, ‘I’m goin’ in.’</p>
-
-<p>But Dot trembled needlessly, she did not
-<a name="png.172" id="png.172" href="#png.172"><span class="pagenum"><span
- class="ns">[p </span>160<span class="ns">]
- </span></span></a>move. The frilled curtain blew through the
-drawing-room window in its old accustomed
-way; the broken wistaria lattice swayed and
-creaked as it had done for months. Something
-rose in Dot’s throat, the wildness died
-out of her eyes.</p>
-
-<p>Then the long shadow fell on the lighted
-patch, and he came across the grass again,
-straight over the mignonette bed and Larrie’s
-primroses.</p>
-
-<p>She shivered violently, a sick feeling of
-fear came over her. He was speaking to her,
-bending down to her, she could not see his
-face in the darkness, but she knew he was holding
-something in his arms. He put it gently
-down on her knees. How warm it was, how
-soft, how very small! Such a little pitiful
-cry of broken sleep it gave!</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, God bless you!’ she said, ‘God bless
-you!’ There came a rush of warm, relieving,
-grateful tears.</p>
-
-<p>‘Oh, God bless you!’ she said again. But
-he had gone.</p>
-
-
-<p id="fin"><small>THE END</small></p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-<div class="tnote">
-<h2 title="">Transcriber’s Notes</h2>
-
-<p>Inconsistent hyphenation (indiarubber/india-rubber, roseleaf/rose-leaf,
-tiptoe/tip-toe, weatherboard/weather-board, workbasket/work-basket) retained.</p>
-
-<p>Inconsistent spelling of Laurence/Lawrence has been retained.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-
-
-<hr class="ww" />
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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