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+The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Celebrity, v2, by Winston Churchill
+WC#47 in our series by Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston)
+
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+Title: The Celebrity, Volume 2.
+
+Author: Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston Churchill)
+
+Release Date: March, 2004  [EBook #5384]
+[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
+[This file was first posted on June 28, 2002]
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+Edition: 10
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+Language: English
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+Character set encoding: ASCII
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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CELEBRITY, V2, BY CHURCHILL ***
+
+
+
+This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net>
+
+
+
+[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the
+file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an
+entire meal of them.  D.W.]
+
+
+
+
+
+THE CELEBRITY
+
+By Winston Churchill
+
+
+VOLUME 2.
+
+
+CHAPTER V
+
+It was small wonder, said the knowing at Asquith, that Mr. Charles
+Wrexell Allen should be attracted by Irene Trevor.  With the lake
+breezes of the north the red and the tan came into her cheeks, those boon
+companions of the open who are best won by the water-winds.  Perhaps they
+brought, too, the spring to the step and the light under the long lashes
+when she flashed a look across the table.  Little by little it became
+plain that Miss Trevor was gaining ground with the Celebrity to the
+neglect of the other young women at Asquith, and when it was announced
+that he was to lead the cotillon with her, the fact was regarded as
+significant.  Even at Asquith such things were talked about.  Mr. Allen
+became a topic and a matter of conjecture.  He was, I believe, generally
+regarded as a good match; his unimpeachable man-servant argued worldly
+possessions, of which other indications were not lacking, while his crest
+was cited as a material sign of family.  Yet when Miss Brewster, one of
+the brace of spinsters, who hailed from Brookline and purported to be an
+up-to-date edition of the Boston Blue Book, questioned the Celebrity on
+this vital point after the searching manner warranted by the gravity of
+the subject, he was unable to acquit himself satisfactorily.  When this
+conversation was repeated in detail within the hearing of the father of
+the young woman in question, and undoubtedly for his benefit, Mr. Trevor
+threw shame to the winds and scandalized the Misses Brewster then and
+there by proclaiming his father to have been a country storekeeper.
+In the eyes of Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke the apotheosis of the Celebrity
+was complete.  The people of Asquith were not only willing to attend the
+house-warming, but had been worked up to the pitch of eagerness.  The
+Celebrity as a matter of course was master of ceremonies.  He originated
+the figures and arranged the couples, of which there were twelve from
+Asquith and ten additional young women.  These ten were assigned to the
+ten young men whom Mr. Cooke expected in his private car, and whose
+appearances, heights, and temperaments the Celebrity obtained from Mr.
+Cooke, carefully noted, and compared with those of the young women.  Be
+it said in passing that Mrs. Cooke had nothing to do with any of it, but
+exhibited an almost criminal indifference.  Mr. Cooke had even chosen the
+favors; charity forbids that I should say what they were.
+
+Owing to the frequent consultations which these preparations made
+necessary the Celebrity was much in the company of my client, which he
+came greatly to prefer to mine, and I therefore abandoned my
+determination to leave Asquith.  I was settling down delightedly to my
+old, easy, and unmolested existence when Farrar and I received an
+invitation, which amounted to a summons, to go to Mohair and make
+ourselves generally useful.  So we packed up and went.  We made an odd
+party before the arrival of the Ten, particularly when the Celebrity
+dropped in for lunch or dinner.  He could not be induced to remain
+permanently at Mohair because Miss Trevor was at Asquith, but he
+appropriated a Hempstead cart from the Mohair stables and made the trip
+sometimes twice in a day.  The fact that Mrs. Cooke treated him with
+unqualified disapproval did not dampen his spirits or lessen the
+frequency of his visits, nor, indeed, did it seem to create any breach
+between husband and wife.  Mr. Cooke took it for granted that his friends
+should not please his wife, and Mrs. Cooke remarked to Farrar and me that
+her husband was old enough to know better, and too old to be taught.  She
+loved him devotedly and showed it in a hundred ways, but she was
+absolutely incapable of dissimulation.
+
+Thanks to Mrs. Cooke, our visit to Mohair was a pleasant one.  We were
+able in many ways to help in the arrangements, especially Farrar, who had
+charge of decorating the grounds.  We saw but little of Mr. Cooke and the
+Celebrity.
+
+The arrival of the Ten was an event of importance, and occurred the day
+of the dance.  I shall treat the Ten as a whole because they did not
+materially differ from one another in dress or habits or ambition or
+general usefulness on this earth.  It is true that Mr. Cooke had been
+able to make delicate distinctions between them for the aid of the
+Celebrity, but such distinctions were beyond me, and the power to make
+them lay only in a long and careful study of the species which I could
+not afford to give.  Likewise the life of any one of the Ten was the life
+of all, and might be truthfully represented by a single year, since each
+year was exactly like the preceding.  The ordinary year, as is well-
+known, begins on the first of January.  But theirs was not the ordinary
+year, nor the Church year, nor the fiscal year.  Theirs began in the Fall
+with the New York Horse Show.  And I am of the opinion, though open to
+correction, that they dated from the first Horse Show instead of from the
+birth of Christ.  It is certain that they were much better versed in the
+history of the Association than in that of the Union, in the biography of
+Excelsior rather than that of Lincoln.  The Dog Show was another event to
+which they looked forward, when they migrated to New York and put up at
+the country places of their friends.  But why go farther?
+
+The Ten made themselves very much at home at Mohair.  One of them told
+the Celebrity he reminded him very much of a man he had met in New York
+and who had written a book, or something of that sort, which made the
+Celebrity wince.  The afternoon was spent in one of the stable lofts,
+where Mr. Cooke had set up a mysterious L-shaped box, in one arm of which
+a badger was placed by a groom, while my client's Sarah, a terrier, was
+sent into the other arm to invite the badger out.  His objections
+exceeded the highest hopes; he dug his claws into the wood and devoted
+himself to Sarah's countenance with unremitting industry.  This
+occupation was found so absorbing that it was with difficulty the Ten
+were induced to abandon it and dress for an early dinner, and only did so
+after the second peremptory message from Mrs. Cooke.
+
+"It's always this way," said Mr. Cooke, regretfully, as he watched Sarah
+licking the accessible furrows in her face; "I never started in on
+anything worth doing yet that Maria did not stop it."
+
+Farrar and I were not available for the dance, and after dinner we looked
+about for a quiet spot in which to weather it, and where we could be
+within reach if needed.  Such a place as this was the Florentine
+galleried porch, which ran along outside the upper windows of the ball-
+room; these were flung open, for the night was warm.  At one end of the
+room the musicians, imported from Minneapolis by Mr. Cooke, were striking
+the first discordant notes of the tuning, while at the other the
+Celebrity and my client, in scarlet hunting-coats, were gravely
+instructing the Ten, likewise in scarlet hunting-coats, as to their
+conduct and functions.  We were reviewing these interesting proceedings
+when Mrs. Cooke came hurrying towards us.  She held a letter in her hand.
+
+"You know," said she, "that Mr. Cooke is forgetful, particularly when his
+mind is occupied with important matters, as it has been for some time.
+Here is a letter from my niece, Miss Thorn, which he has carried in his
+pocket since Monday.  We expected her two weeks ago, and had given her
+up.  But it seems she was to leave Philadelphia on Wednesday, and will
+be at that forlorn little station of Asquith at half-past nine to-night.
+I want you two to go over and meet her."
+
+We expressed our readiness, and in ten minutes were in the station wagon,
+rolling rapidly down the long drive, for it was then after nine.  We
+passed on the way the van of the guests from Asquith.  As we reached the
+lodge we heard the whistle, and we backed up against one side of the
+platform as the train pulled up at the other.
+
+Farrar and I are not imaginative; we did not picture to ourselves any
+particular type for the girl we were going to meet, we were simply doing
+our best to get to the station before the train.  We jumped from the
+wagon and were watching the people file out of the car, and I noticed
+that more than one paused to look back over their shoulders as they
+reached the door.  Then came a maid with hand-bag and shawls, and after
+her a tall young lady.  She stood for a moment holding her skirt above
+the grimy steps, with something of the stately pose which Richter has
+given his Queen Louise on the stairway, and the light of the reflector
+fell full upon her.  She looked around expectantly, and recognizing Mrs.
+Cooke's maid, who had stepped forward to relieve hers of the shawls, Miss
+Thorn greeted her with a smile which greatly prepossessed us in her
+favor.
+
+"How do you do, Jennie?" she said.  "Did any one else come?"
+
+"Yes, Miss Marian," replied Jennie, abashed but pleased,--"these
+gentlemen."
+
+Farrar and I introduced ourselves, awkwardly enough, and we both tried to
+explain at once how it was that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Cooke was there to
+meet her.  Of course we made an absolute failure of it.  She scanned our
+faces with a puzzled expression for a while and then broke into a laugh.
+
+"I think I understand," she said; "they are having the house-warming."
+
+"She's first-rate at guessing," said Farrar to me as we fled
+precipitately to see that the trunks were hoisted into the basket.
+Neither of us had much presence of mind as we climbed into the wagon,
+and, what was even stranger, could not account for the lack of it.  Miss
+Thorn was seated in the corner; in spite of the darkness I could see that
+she was laughing at us still.
+
+"I feel very badly that I should have taken you away from the dance," we
+heard her say.
+
+"We don't dance," I answered clumsily, "and we were glad to come."
+
+"Yes, we were glad to come," Farrar chimed in.
+
+Then we relapsed into a discomfited silence, and wished we were anywhere
+else.  But Miss Thorn relieved the situation by laughing aloud, and with
+such a hearty enjoyment that instead of getting angry and more mortified
+we began to laugh ourselves, and instantly felt better.  After that we
+got along famously.  She had at once the air of good fellowship and the
+dignity of a woman, and she seemed to understand Farrar and me perfectly.
+Not once did she take us over our heads, though she might have done so
+with ease, and we knew this and were thankful.  We began to tell her
+about Mohair and the cotillon, and of our point of observation from the
+Florentine galleried porch, and she insisted she would join us there.
+By the time we reached the house we were thanking our stars she had come.
+Mrs. Cooke came out under the port-cochere to welcome her.
+
+"Unfortunately there is no one to dance with you, Marian," she said; "but
+if I had not by chance gone through your uncle's pockets, there would
+have been no one to meet you."
+
+I think I had never felt my deficiency in dancing until that moment.  But
+Miss Thorn took her aunt's hand affectionately in hers.
+
+"My dear Aunt Maria," said she, "I would not dance to-night if there were
+twenty to choose from.  I should like nothing better than to look on with
+these two.  We are the best of friends already," she added, turning
+towards us, "are we not?"
+
+"We are indeed," we hastened to assure her.
+
+Mrs. Cooke smiled.
+
+"You should have been a man, Marian," she said as they went upstairs
+together.
+
+We made our way to the galleried porch and sat down, there being a lull
+in the figures just then.  We each took out a cigar and lighted a match;
+and then looked across at the other.  We solemnly blew our matches out.
+
+"Perhaps she doesn't like smoke," said Farrar, voicing the sentiment.
+
+"Perhaps not," said I.
+
+Silence.
+
+"I wonder how she will get along with the Ten?" I queried.
+
+"Better than with us," he answered in his usual strain.  "They're
+trained."
+
+"Or with Allen?" I added irresistibly.
+
+"Women are all alike," said Farrar.
+
+At this juncture Miss Thorn herself appeared at the end of the gallery,
+her shoulders wrapped in a gray cape trimmed with fur.  She stood
+regarding us with some amusement as we rose to receive her.
+
+"Light your cigars and be sensible," said she, "or I shall go in."
+
+We obeyed.  The three of us turned to the window to watch the figure, the
+music of which was just beginning.  Mr. Cooke, with the air of an English
+squire at his own hunt ball, was strutting contentedly up and down one
+end of the room, now pausing to exchange a few hearty words with some
+Presbyterian matron from Asquith, now to congratulate Mr. Trevor on the
+appearance of his daughter.  Lined against the opposite wall were the
+Celebrity and his ten red-coated followers, just rising for the figure.
+It was very plain that Miss Trevor was radiantly happy; she was easily
+the handsomest girl in the room, and I could not help philosophizing
+when I saw her looking up into the Celebrity's eyes upon the seeming
+inconsistency of nature, who has armed and warned woman against all but
+her most dangerous enemy.
+
+And then a curious thing happened.  The Celebrity, as if moved by a
+sudden uncontrollable impulse, raised his eyes until they rested on the
+window in which we were.  Although his dancing was perfect, he lost the
+step without apparent cause, his expression changed, and for the moment
+he seemed to be utterly confused.  But only for the moment; in a trice he
+had caught the time again and swept Miss Trevor rapidly down the room and
+out of sight.  I looked instinctively at the girl beside me.  She had
+thrown her head forward, and in the streaming light I saw that her lips
+were parted in a smile.
+
+I resolved upon a stroke.
+
+"Mr. Allen," I remarked, "leads admirably."
+
+"Mr. Allen!" she exclaimed, turning on me.
+
+"Yes, it is Mr. Allen who is leading," I repeated.
+
+An expression of perplexity spread over her face, but she said nothing.
+My curiosity was aroused to a high pitch, and questions were rising to my
+lips which I repressed with difficulty.  For Miss Thorn had displayed,
+purposely or not, a reticence which my short acquaintance with her
+compelled me to respect; and, besides, I was bound by a promise not to
+betray the Celebrity's secret.  I was, however, convinced from what had
+occurred that she had met the Celebrity in the East, and perhaps known
+him.
+
+Had she fallen in love with him, as was the common fate of all young
+women he met?  I changed my opinion on this subject a dozen times.  Now I
+was sure, as I looked at her, that she was far too sensible; again, a
+doubt would cross my mind as the Celebrity himself would cross my view,
+the girl on his arm reduced to adoration.  I followed him narrowly when
+in sight.  Miss Thorn was watching him, too, her eyes half closed, as
+though in thought.  But beyond the fact that he threw himself into the
+dance with a somewhat increased fervor, perhaps, his manner betokened no
+uneasiness, and not even by a glance did he betray any disturbing
+influence from above.
+
+Thus we stood silently until the figure was finished, when Miss Thorn
+seated herself in one of the wicker chairs behind us.
+
+"Doesn't it make you wish to dance?" said Farrar to her.  "It is hard
+luck you should be doomed to spend the evening with two such useless
+fellows as we are."
+
+She did not catch his remark at first, as was natural in a person
+preoccupied.  Then she bit her lips to repress a smile.
+
+"I assure you, Mr. Farrar," she said with force, "I have never in my life
+wished to dance as little as I do now."
+
+But a voice interrupted her, and the scarlet coat of the Celebrity was
+thrust into the light between us.  Farrar excused himself abruptly and
+disappeared.
+
+"Never wished to dance less!" cried the Celebrity.  "Upon my word, Miss
+Thorn, that's too bad.  I came up to ask you to reconsider your
+determination, as one of the girls from Asquith is leaving, and there is
+an extra man."
+
+"You are very kind," said Miss Thorn, quietly, "but I prefer to remain
+here."
+
+My surmise, then, was correct.  She had evidently met the Celebrity, and
+there was that in his manner of addressing her, without any formal
+greeting, which seemed to point to a close acquaintance.
+
+"You know Mr. Allen, then, Miss Thorn?"  said I.
+
+"What can you mean?"  she exclaimed, wheeling on me; "this is not Mr.
+Allen."
+
+"Hang you, Crocker," the Celebrity put in impatiently; "Miss Thorn knows
+who I am as well as you do."
+
+"I confess it is a little puzzling," said she; "perhaps it is because I
+am tired from travelling, and my brain refuses to work.  But why in the
+name of all that is strange do you call him Mr. Allen?"
+
+The Celebrity threw himself into the chair beside her and asked
+permission to light a cigarette.
+
+"I am going to ask you the favor of respecting my incognito, Miss Thorn,
+as Crocker has done," he said.  "Crocker knew me in the East, too.  I had
+not counted upon finding him at Asquith."
+
+Miss Thorn straightened herself and made a gesture of impatience.
+
+"An incognito!" she cried.  "But you have taken another man's name.  And
+you already had his face and figure!"
+
+I jumped.
+
+"That is so," he calmly returned; "the name was ready to hand, and so I
+took it.  I don't imagine it will make any difference to him.  It's only
+a whim of mine, and with me there's no accounting for a whim.  I make it
+a point to gratify every one that strikes me.  I confess to being
+eccentric, you know."
+
+"You must get an enormous amount of gratification out of this," she said
+dryly.  "What if the other man should happen along?"
+
+"Scarcely at Asquith."
+
+"I have known stranger things to occur," said she.
+
+The Celebrity smiled and smoked.
+
+"I'll wager, now," he went on, "that you little thought to find me here
+incognito.  But it is delicious, I assure you, to lead once more a
+commonplace and unmolested existence."
+
+"Delightful," said Miss Thorn.
+
+"People never consider an author apart from his work, you know, and I
+confess I had a desire to find out how I would get along.  And there
+comes a time when a man wishes he had never written a book, and a longing
+to be sought after for his own sake and to be judged on his own merits.
+And then it is a great relief to feel that one is not at the beck and
+call of any one and every one wherever one goes, and to know that one
+is free to choose one's own companions and do as one wishes."
+
+"The sentiment is good," Miss Thorn agreed, "very good.  But doesn't it
+seem a little odd, Mr. Crocker," she continued, appealing to me, "that a
+man should take the pains to advertise a trip to Europe in order to
+gratify a whim of this sort?"
+
+"It is indeed incomprehensible to me," I replied, with a kind of grim
+pleasure, "but you must remember that I have always led a commonplace
+existence."
+
+Although the Celebrity was almost impervious to sarcasm, he was now
+beginning to exhibit visible signs of uneasiness, the consciousness
+dawning upon him that his eccentricity was not receiving the ovation it
+merited.  It was with a palpable relief that he heard the first warning
+notes of the figure.
+
+"Am I to understand that you wish me to do my part in concealing your
+identity?" asked Miss Thorn, cutting him short as he was expressing
+pleasure at her arrival.
+
+"If you will be so kind," he answered, and departed with a bow.
+There was a mischievous mirth in her eye as she took her place in the
+window.  Below in the ball-room sat Miss Trevor surrounded by men, and
+I saw her face lighting at the Celebrity's approach.
+
+"Who is that beautiful girl he is dancing with?"  said Miss Thorn.
+
+I told her.
+
+"Have you read his books?" she asked, after a pause.
+
+"Some of them."
+
+"So have I"
+
+The Celebrity was not mentioned again that evening.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI
+
+As an endeavor to unite Mohair and Asquith the cotillon had proved a
+dismal failure.  They were as the clay and the brass.  The next morning
+Asquith was split into factions and rent by civil strife, and the porch
+of the inn was covered by little knots of women, all trying to talk at
+once; their faces told an ominous tale.  Not a man was to be seen.  The
+Minneapolis, St.  Paul, and Chicago papers, all of which had previously
+contained elaborate illustrated accounts of Mr. Cooke's palatial park and
+residence, came out that morning bristling with headlines about the ball,
+incidentally holding up the residents of a quiet and retiring little
+community in a light that scandalized them beyond measure.  And Mr.
+Charles Wrexell Allen, treasurer of the widely known Miles Standish
+Bicycle Company, was said to have led the cotillon in a manner that left
+nothing to be desired.
+
+So it was this gentleman whom the Celebrity was personating!  A queer
+whim indeed.
+
+After that, I doubt if the court of Charles the Second was regarded by
+the Puritans with a greater abhorrence than was Mohair by the good ladies
+of Asquith.  Mr. Cooke and his ten friends were branded as profligates
+whose very scarlet coats bore witness that they were of the devil.  Mr.
+Cooke himself, who particularly savored of brimstone, would much better
+have remained behind the arras, for he was denounced with such energy and
+bitterness that those who might have attempted his defence were silent,
+and their very silence told against them.  Mr. Cooke had indeed outdone
+himself in hospitality.  He had posted punch-bowls in every available
+corner, and so industriously did he devote himself to the duties of host,
+as he conceived them, that as many as four of the patriarchs of Asquith
+and pillars of the church had returned home more or less insensible,
+while others were quite incoherent.  The odds being overwhelming, the
+master of Mohair had at length fallen a victim to his own good cheer.
+He took post with Judge Short at the foot of the stair, where, in spite
+of the protests of the Celebrity and of other well-disposed persons, the
+two favored the parting guests with an occasional impromptu song and
+waved genial good-byes to the ladies.  And, when Mrs. Short attempted to
+walk by with her head in the air, as though the judge were in an
+adjoining county, he so far forgot his judicial dignity as to chuck her
+under the chin, an act which was applauded with much boyish delight by
+Mr. Cooke, and a remark which it is just as well not to repeat.  The
+judge desired to spend the night at Mohair, but was afterwards taken home
+by main force, and the next day his meals were brought up to him.  It is
+small wonder that Mrs. Short was looked upon as the head of the outraged
+party.  The Ten were only spoken of in whispers.  Three of them had been
+unable to come to time when the last figure was called, whereupon their
+partners were whisked off the scene without so much as being allowed to
+pay their respects to the hostess.  Besides these offences, there were
+other minor barbarisms too numerous to mention.
+
+Although Mrs. Short's party was all-powerful at Asquith, there were some
+who, for various reasons, refused to agree in the condemnation of Mr.
+Cooke.  Judge Short and the other gentlemen in his position were, of
+course, restricted, but Mr. Trevor came out boldly in the face of severe
+criticism and declared that his daughter should accept any invitation
+from Mrs. Cooke that she chose, and paid but little attention to the
+coolness resulting therefrom.  He was fast getting a reputation for
+oddity.  And the Celebrity tried to conciliate both parties, and
+succeeded, though none but he could have done it.  At first he was eyed
+with suspicion and disgust as he drove off to Mohair in his Hempstead
+cart, and was called many hard names.  But he had a way about him which
+won them in the end.
+
+A few days later I ran over to Mohair and found my client with the
+colored Sunday supplement of a Chicago newspaper spread out before him,
+eyeing the page with something akin to childish delight.  I discovered
+that it was a picture of his own hunt ball, and as a bit of color it was
+marvellous, the scarlet coats being very much in evidence.
+
+"There, old man!"  he exclaimed.  "What do you think of that?  Something
+of a sendoff, eh?"  And he pointed to a rather stout and important
+gentleman in the foreground.  "That's me!"  he said proudly, "and they
+wouldn't do that for Farquhar Fenelon Cooke in Philadelphia."
+
+"A prophet is without honor in his own country," I remarked.
+
+"I don't set up for a prophet," said Mr. Cooke, "but I did predict that I
+would start a ripple here, didn't I?"
+
+I did not deny this.
+
+"How do I stand over there?"  he inquired, designating Asquith by a twist
+of the head.  "I hear they're acting all over the road; that they think
+I'm the very devil."
+
+"Well, your stock has dropped some, I admit," I answered.  "They didn't
+take kindly to your getting the judge drunk, you know."
+
+"They oughtn't to complain about that," said my client; "and besides, he
+wasn't drunk enough to amount to anything."
+
+"However that may be," said I, "you have the credit for leading him
+astray.  But there is a split in your favor."
+
+"I'm glad to know that," he said, brightening; "then I won't have to
+import any more."
+
+"Any more what?" I asked.
+
+"People from the East to keep things moving, of course.  What I have here
+and those left me at the inn ought to be enough to run through the summer
+with.  Don't you think so?"
+
+I thought so, and was moving off when he called me back.
+
+"Is the judge locked up, old man?"  he demanded.
+
+"He's under rather close surveillance," I replied, smiling.
+
+"Crocker;" he said confidentially, "see if you can't smuggle him over
+here some day soon.  The judge always holds good cards, and plays a
+number one hand."
+
+I promised, and escaped.  On the veranda I came upon Miss Thorn
+surrounded by some of her uncle's guests.  I imagine that she was bored,
+for she looked it.
+
+"Mr. Crocker," she called out, "you're just the man I have been wishing
+to see."
+
+The others naturally took this for a dismissal, and she was not long in
+coming to her point when we were alone.
+
+"What is it you know about this queer but gifted genius who is here so
+mysteriously?"  she asked.
+
+"Nothing whatever," I confessed.  "I knew him before he thought of
+becoming a genius."
+
+"Retrogression is always painful," she said; "but tell me something about
+him then."
+
+I told her all I knew, being that narrated in these pages.  "Now,"
+said I, "if you will pardon a curiosity on my part, from what you
+said the other evening I inferred that he closely resembles the man
+whose name it pleased him to assume.  And that man, I learn from the
+newspapers, is Mr. Charles Wrexell Allen of the 'Miles Standish Bicycle
+Company.'"
+
+Miss Thorn made a comic gesture of despair.
+
+"Why he chose Mr. Allen's name," she said, "is absolutely beyond my
+guessing.  Unless there is some purpose behind the choice, which I do not
+for an instant believe, it was a foolish thing to do, and one very apt to
+lead to difficulties.  I can understand the rest.  He has a reputation
+for eccentricity which he feels he must keep up, and this notion of
+assuming a name evidently appealed to him as an inspiration."
+
+"But why did he come out here?"  I asked.  "Can you tell me that?"
+
+Miss Thorn flushed slightly, and ignored the question.
+
+"I met the 'Celebrity,' as you call him," she said, "for the first time
+last winter, and I saw him frequently during the season.  Of course
+I had heard not a little about him and his peculiarities.  His name seems
+to have gone the length and breadth of the land.  And, like most girls,
+I had read his books and confess I enjoyed them.  It is not too much to
+say," she added archly, "that I made a sort of archangel out of the
+author."
+
+"I can understand that," said I.
+
+"But that did not last," she continued hastily.  "I see I have got beside
+my story.  I saw a great deal of him in New York.  He came to call, and I
+believe I danced with him once or twice.  And then my aunt, Mrs. Rivers,
+bought a place near Epsom, in Massachusetts, and had a house party there
+in May.  And the Celebrity was invited."
+
+I smiled.
+
+"Oh, I assure you it was a mere chance," said Miss Thorn.  "I mention
+this that I may tell you the astonishing part of it all.  Epsom is one of
+those smoky manufacturing towns one sees in New England, and the 'Miles
+Standish' bicycle is made there.  The day after we all arrived at my
+aunt's a man came up the drive on a wheel whom I greeted in a friendly
+way and got a decidedly uncertain bow in return.
+
+"I thought it rather a strange shift from a marked cordiality, and spoke
+of the circumstance to my aunt, who was highly amused.  'Why, my dear,'
+said she, 'that was Mr. Allen, of the bicycle company.  I was nearly
+deceived myself.'"
+
+"And is the resemblance so close as that?" I exclaimed.
+
+"So close!  Believe me, they are as like as two ices from a mould.  Of
+course, when they are together one can distinguish the Celebrity from the
+bicycle man.  The Celebrity's chin is a little more square, and his nose
+straighter, and there are other little differences.  I believe Mr. Allen
+has a slight scar on his forehead.  But the likeness was remarkable,
+nevertheless, and it grew to be a standing joke with us.  They actually
+dressed ludicrously alike.  The Celebrity became so sensitive about it
+that he went back to New York before the party broke up.  We grew to be
+quite fond of the bicycle man."
+
+She paused and shifted her chair, which had rocked close to mine.
+
+"And can you account for his coming to Asquith?" I asked innocently.
+
+She was plainly embarrassed.
+
+"I suppose I might account for it, Mr. Crocker," she replied.  Then she
+added, with something of an impulse, "After all, it is foolish of me not
+to tell you.  You probably know the Celebrity well enough to have learned
+that he takes idiotic fancies to young women."
+
+"Not always idiotic," I protested.
+
+"You mean that the young women are not always idiotic, I suppose.  No,
+not always, but nearly always.  I imagine he got the idea of coming to
+Asquith," she went on with a change of manner, "because I chanced to
+mention that I was coming out here on a visit."
+
+"Oh," I remarked, and there words failed me.
+
+Her mouth was twitching with merriment.
+
+"I am afraid you will have to solve the rest of it for yourself, Mr.
+Crocker," said she; "that is all of my contribution.  My uncle tells me
+you are the best lawyer in the country, and I am surprised that you are
+so slow in getting at motives."
+
+And I did attempt to solve it on my way back to Asquith.  The conclusion
+I settled to, everything weighed, was this: that the Celebrity had become
+infatuated with Miss Thorn (I was far from blaming him for that) and had
+followed her first to Epsom and now to Asquith.  And he had chosen to
+come West incognito partly through the conceit which he admitted and
+gloried in, and partly because he believed his prominence sufficient to
+obtain for him an unpleasant notoriety if he continued long enough to
+track the same young lady about the country.  Hence he had taken the
+trouble to advertise a trip abroad to account for his absence.
+Undoubtedly his previous conquests had been made more easily, for my
+second talk with Miss Thorn had put my mind at rest as to her having
+fallen a victim to his fascinations.  Her arrival at Mohair being
+delayed, the Celebrity had come nearly a month too soon, and in the
+interval that tendency of which he was the dupe still led him by the
+nose; he must needs make violent love to the most attractive girl on the
+ground,--Miss Trevor.  Now that one still more attractive had arrived
+I was curious to see how he would steer between the two, for I made no
+doubt that matters had progressed rather far with Miss Trevor.  And in
+this I was not mistaken.
+
+But his choice of the name of Charles Wrexell Allen bothered me
+considerably.  I finally decided that he had taken it because convenient,
+and because he believed Asquith to be more remote from the East than the
+Sandwich Islands.
+
+Reaching the inn grounds, I climbed the hillside to a favorite haunt of
+mine, a huge boulder having a sloping back covered with soft turf.  Hence
+I could watch indifferently both lake and sky.  Presently, however, I was
+aroused by voices at the foot of the rock, and peering over the edge I
+discovered a kind of sewing-circle gathered there.  The foliage hid me
+completely.  I perceived the Celebrity perched upon the low branch of an
+apple-tree, and Miss Trevor below him, with two other girls, doing fancy-
+work.  I shall not attempt to defend the morality of my action, but I
+could not get away without discovery, and the knowledge that I had heard
+a part of their conversation might prove disquieting to them.
+
+The Celebrity had just published a book, under the title of 'The
+Sybarites', which was being everywhere discussed; and Asquith, where
+summer reading was general, came in for its share of the debate.  Why it
+was called The Sybarites I have never discovered.  I did not read the
+book because I was sick and tired of the author and his nonsense, but I
+imbibed, in spite of myself, something of the story and its moral from
+hearing it talked about.  The Celebrity himself had listened to arguments
+on the subject with great serenity, and was nothing loth to give his
+opinion when appealed to.  I realized at once that 'The Sybarites' was
+the present topic.
+
+"Yes, it is rather an uncommon book," he was saying languidly, "but there
+is no use writing a story unless it is uncommon."
+
+"Dear, how I should like to meet the author!"  exclaimed a voice.
+"He must be a charming man, and so young, too!  I believe you said
+you knew him, Mr. Allen."
+
+"An old acquaintance," he answered, "and I am always reminding him that
+his work is overestimated."
+
+"How can you say he is overestimated!" said a voice.
+
+"You men are all jealous of him," said another.
+
+"Is he handsome?  I have heard he is."
+
+"He would scarcely be called so," said the Celebrity, doubtfully.
+
+"He is, girls," Miss Trevor interposed; "I have seen his photograph."
+
+"What does he look like, Irene?"  they chorussed.  "Men are no judges."
+
+"He is tall, and dark, and broad-shouldered," Miss Trevor enumerated,
+as though counting her stitches, "and he has a very firm chin, and a
+straight nose, and--"
+
+"Perfect!" they cried.  "I had an idea he was just like that.  I should
+go wild about him.  Does he talk as well as he writes, Mr. Allen?"
+
+"That is admitting that he writes well."
+
+"Admitting?" they shouted scornfully, "and don't you admit it?"
+
+"Some people like his writing, I have to confess," said the Celebrity,
+with becoming calmness; "certainly his personality could not sell an
+edition of thirty thousand in a month.  I think 'The Sybarites' the best
+of his works."
+
+"Upon my word, Mr. Allen, I am disgusted with you," said the second
+voice; "I have not found a man yet who would speak a good word for him.
+But I did not think it of you."
+
+A woman's tongue, like a firearm, is a dangerous weapon, and often
+strikes where it is least expected.  I saw with a wicked delight that the
+shot had told, for the Celebrity blushed to the roots of his hair, while
+Miss Trevor dropped three or four stitches.
+
+"I do not see how you can expect men to like 'The Sybarites'," she said,
+with some heat; "very few men realize or care to realize what a small
+chance the average woman has.  I know marriage isn't a necessary goal,
+but most women, as well as most men, look forward to it at some time of
+life, and, as a rule, a woman is forced to take her choice of the two or
+three men that offer themselves, no matter what they are.  I admire a man
+who takes up the cudgels for women, as he has done."
+
+"Of course we admire him," they cried, as soon as Miss Trevor had stopped
+for breath.
+
+"And can you expect a man to like a book which admits that women are the
+more constant?" she went on.
+
+"Why, Irene, you are quite rabid on the subject," said the second voice;
+"I did not say I expected it.  I only said I had hoped to find Mr. Allen,
+at least, broad enough to agree with the book."
+
+"Doesn't Mr. Allen remind you a little of Desmond?"  asked the first
+voice, evidently anxious to avoid trouble.
+
+"Do you know whom he took for Desmond, Mr. Allen?  I have an idea it was
+himself."
+
+Mr. Allen, had now recovered some of his composure.
+
+"If so, it was done unconsciously," he said.  "I suppose an author must
+put his best thoughts in the mouth of his hero."
+
+"But it is like him?"  she insisted.
+
+"Yes, he holds the same views."
+
+"Which you do not agree with."
+
+"I have not said I did not agree with them," he replied, taking up his
+own defence; "the point is not that men are more inconstant than women,
+but that women have more excuse for inconstancy.  If I remember
+correctly, Desmond, in a letter to Rosamond, says: 'Inconstancy in a
+woman, because of the present social conditions, is often pardonable.  In
+a man, nothing is more despicable.'  I think that is so.  I believe that
+a man should stick by the woman to whom he has given his word as closely
+as he sticks by his friends."
+
+"Ah!" exclaimed the aggressive second voice, "that is all very well.  But
+how about the woman to whom he has not given his word?  Unfortunately,
+the present social conditions allow a man to go pretty far without a
+definite statement."
+
+At this I could not refrain from looking at Miss Trevor.  She was bending
+over her knitting and had broken her thread.
+
+"It is presumption for a man to speak without some foundation," said the
+Celebrity, "and wrong unless he is sure of himself."
+
+
+"But you must admit," the second voice continued, "that a man has no
+right to amuse himself with a woman, and give her every reason to believe
+he is going to marry her save the only manly and substantial one.  And
+yet that is something which happens every day.  What do you think of a
+man who deserts a woman under those conditions?"
+
+"He is a detestable dog, of course," declared the Celebrity.
+
+And the cock in the inn yard was silent.
+
+"I should love to be able to quote from a book at will," said the
+quieting voice, for the sake of putting an end to an argument which bid
+fair to become disagreeable.  "How do you manage to do it?"
+
+"It was simply a passage that stuck in my mind," he answered modestly;
+"when I read a book I pick them up just as a roller picks up a sod here
+and there as it moves over the lawn."
+
+"I should think you might write, Mr. Allen, you have such an original way
+of putting things!"
+
+"I have thought of it," returned the Celebrity, "and I may, some fine
+day."
+
+Wherewith he thrust his hands into his pockets and sauntered off with
+equanimity undisturbed, apparently unaware of the impression he had left
+behind him.  And the Fifth Reader story popped into my head of good King
+William (or King Frederick, I forgot which), who had a royal fancy for
+laying aside the gayeties of the court and straying incognito among his
+plainer subjects, but whose princely origin was invariably detected in
+spite of any disguise his Majesty could invent.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII
+
+I experienced a great surprise a few mornings afterwards.  I had risen
+quite early, and found the Celebrity's man superintending the hoisting of
+luggage on top of a van.
+
+"Is your master leaving?" I asked.
+
+"He's off to Mohair now, sir," said the valet, with a salute.
+
+At that instant the Celebrity himself appeared.
+
+"Yes, old chap, I'm off to Mohair," he explained.  "There's more sport in
+a day up there than you get here in a season.  Beastly slow place, this,
+unless one is a deacon or a doctor of divinity.  Why don't you come up,
+Crocker?  Cooke would like nothing better; he has told me so a dozen
+times."
+
+"He is very good," I replied.  I could not resist the temptation to add,
+"I had an idea Asquith rather suited your purposes just now."
+
+"I don't quite understand," he said, jumping at the other half of my
+meaning.
+
+"Oh, nothing.  But you told me when you came here, if I am not mistaken,
+that you chose Asquith because of those very qualities for which you now
+condemn it."
+
+"Magna est vis consuetudinis," he laughed; "I thought I could stand the
+life, but I can't.  I am tired of their sects and synods and sermons.  By
+the way," said he pulling at my sleeve, "what a deuced pretty girl that
+Miss Thorn is!  Isn't she?  Rollins, where's the cart?  Well, good-bye,
+Crocker; see you soon."
+
+He drove rapidly off as the clock struck six, and an uneasy glance he
+gave the upper windows did not escape me.  When Farrar appeared, I told
+him what had happened.
+
+"Good riddance," he replied sententiously.
+
+We sat in silence until the bell rang, looking at the morning sun on the
+lake.  I was a little anxious to learn the state of Farrar's feelings in
+regard to Miss Trevor, and how this new twist in affairs had affected
+them.  But I might as well have expected one of King Louis's carp to
+whisper secrets of the old regime.  The young lady came to the breakfast-
+table looking so fresh and in such high spirits that I made sure she had
+not heard of the Celebrity's ignoble escape.  As the meal proceeded it
+was easy to mark that her eye now and again fell across his empty chair,
+and glanced inquiringly towards the door.  I made up my mind that I would
+not be the bearer of evil news, and so did Farrar, so we kept up a vapid
+small-talk with Mr. Trevor on the condition of trade in the West.  Miss
+Trevor, however, in some way came to suspect that we could account for
+that vacant seat.  At last she fixed her eye inquiringly on me, and I
+trembled.
+
+"Mr. Crocker," she began, and paused.  Then she added with a fair
+unconcern, "do you happen to know where Mr. Allen is this morning?"
+
+"He has gone over to Mohair, I believe," I replied weakly.
+
+"To Mohair!"  she exclaimed, putting down her cup; "why, he promised to
+go canoeing at ten.
+
+"Probably he will be back by then," I ventured, not finding it in my
+heart to tell her the cruel truth.  But I kept my eyes on my plate.  They
+say a lie has short legs.  Mine had, for my black friend, Simpson, was at
+that instant taking off the fruit, and overheard my remark.
+
+"Mr. Allen done gone for good," he put in, "done give me five dollars
+last night.  Why, sah," he added, scratching his head, "you was on de
+poch dis mornin' when his trunks was took away!"
+
+It was certainly no time to quibble then.
+
+"His trunks!" Miss Trevor exclaimed.
+
+"Yes, he has left us and gone to Mohair," I said, "bag and baggage.  That
+is the flat truth of it."
+
+I suppose there is some general rule for calculating beforehand how a
+young woman is going to act when news of this sort is broken.  I had no
+notion of what Miss Trevor would do.  I believe Farrar thought she would
+faint, for he laid his napkin on the table.  She did nothing of the kind,
+but said simply:
+
+"How unreliable men are!"
+
+I fell to guessing what her feelings were; for the life of me I could not
+tell from her face.  I was sorry for Miss Trevor in spite of the fact
+that she had neglected to ask my advice before falling in love with the
+Celebrity.  I asked her to go canoeing with me.  She refused kindly but
+very firmly.
+
+It is needless to say that the Celebrity did not come back to the inn,
+and as far as I could see the desertion was designed, cold-blooded, and
+complete.  Miss Trevor remained out of sight during the day of his
+departure, and at dinner we noticed traces of a storm about her,--a storm
+which had come and gone.  There was an involuntary hush as she entered
+the dining-room, for Asquith had been buzzing that afternoon over the
+episode.  And I admired the manner in which she bore her inspection.
+Already rumors of the cause of Mr. Allen's departure were in active
+circulation, and I was astonished to learn that he had been seen that day
+seated upon Indian rock with Miss Thorn herself.  This piece of news gave
+me a feeling of insecurity about people, and about women in particular,
+that I had never before experienced.  After holding the Celebrity up to
+such unmeasured ridicule as she had done, ridicule not without a
+seasoning of contempt, it was difficult to believe Miss Thorn so
+inconsistent as to go alone with him to Indian rock; and she was not
+ignorant of Miss Trevor's experience.  But the fact was attested by
+trustworthy persons.
+
+I have often wondered what prompted me to ask Miss Trevor again to go
+canoeing.  To do myself justice, it was no wish of mine to meddle with or
+pry into her affairs.  Neither did I flatter myself that my poor company
+would be any consolation for that she had lost.  I shall not try to
+analyze my motive.  Suffice it to record that she accepted this second
+invitation, and I did my best to amuse her by relating a few of my
+experiences at the bar, and I told that memorable story of Farrar
+throwing O'Meara into the street.  We were getting along famously,
+when we descried another canoe passing us at some distance, and we both
+recognized the Celebrity at the paddle by the flannel jacket of his
+college boat club.  And Miss Thorn sat in the bow!
+
+"Do you know anything about that man, Miss Trevor?" I asked abruptly.
+
+She grew scarlet, but replied:
+
+"I know that he is a fraud."
+
+"Anything else?"
+
+"I can't say that I do; that is, nothing but what he has told me."
+
+"If you will forgive my curiosity," I said, "what has he told you?"
+
+"He says he is the author of The Sybarites," she answered, her lip
+curling, "but of course I do not believe that, now."
+
+"But that happens to be true," I said, smiling.
+
+She clapped her hands.
+
+"I promised him I wouldn't tell," she cried, "but the minute I get back
+to the inn I shall publish it."
+
+"No, don't do that just yet," said I.
+
+"Why not?  Of course I shall."
+
+I had no definite reason, only a vague hope that we should get some
+better sort of enjoyment out of the disclosure before the summer was
+over.
+
+"You see," I said, "he is always getting into scrapes; he is that kind of
+a man.  And it is my humble opinion that he has put his head into a noose
+this time, for sure.  Mr. Allen, of the 'Miles Standish Bicycle
+Company,' whose name he has borrowed for the occasion, is enough like
+him in appearance to be his twin brother."
+
+"He has borrowed another man's name!" she exclaimed; "why, that's
+stealing!"
+
+"No, merely kleptomania," I replied; "he wouldn't be the other man if he
+could.  But it has struck me that the real Mr. Allen might turn up here,
+or some friend of his, and stir things a bit.  My advice to you is to
+keep quiet, and we may have a comedy worth seeing."
+
+"Well," she remarked, after she had got over a little of her
+astonishment, "it would be great fun to tell, but I won't if you say so."
+
+I came to, have a real liking for Miss Trevor.  Farrar used to smile when
+I spoke of this, and I never could induce him to go out with us in the
+canoe, which we did frequently,--in fact, every day I was at Asquith,
+except of course Sundays.  And we grew to understand each other very
+well.  She looked upon me in the same light as did my other friends,--
+that of a counsellor-at-law,--and I fell unconsciously into the role of
+her adviser, in which capacity I was the recipient of many confidences I
+would have got in no other way.  That is, in no other way save one, and
+in that I had no desire to go, even had it been possible.  Miss Trevor
+was only nineteen, and in her eyes I was at least sixty.
+
+"See here, Miss Trevor," I said to her one day after we had become more
+or less intimate, "of course it's none of my business, but you didn't
+feel very badly after the Celebrity went away, did you?"
+
+Her reply was frank and rather staggering.
+
+"Yes, I did.  I was engaged to him, you know."
+
+"Engaged to him!  I had no idea he ever got that far," I exclaimed.
+
+Miss Trevor laughed merrily.
+
+"It was my fault," she said; "I pinned him down, and he had to propose.
+There was no way out of it.  I don't mind telling you."
+
+I did not know whether to be flattered or aggrieved by this avowal.
+
+"You know," she went on, her tone half apologetic, "the day after he came
+he told me who he was, and I wanted to stop the people we passed and
+inform them of the lion I was walking with.  And I was quite carried away
+by the honor of his attentions: any girl would have been, you know."
+
+"I suppose so," I assented.
+
+"And I had heard and read so much of him, and I doted on his stories, and
+all that.  His heroes are divine, you must admit.  And, Mr. Crocker," she
+concluded with a charming naivety, "I just made up my mind I would have
+him."
+
+"Woman proposes, and man disposes," I laughed.  "He escaped in spite of
+you."
+
+She looked at me queerly.
+
+"Only a jest," I said hurriedly; "your escape is the one to be thankful
+for.  You might have married him, like the young woman in The Sybarites.
+You remember, do you not, that the hero of that book sacrifices himself
+for the lady who adores him, but whom he has ceased to adore?"
+
+"Yes, I remember," she laughed; "I believe I know that book by heart."
+
+"Think of the countless girls he must have relieved of their affections
+before their eyes were opened," I continued with mock gravity.  "Think of
+the charred trail he has left behind him.  A man of that sort ought to be
+put under heavy bonds not to break any more hearts.  But a kleptomaniac
+isn't responsible, you understand.  And it isn't worth while to bear any
+malice."
+
+"Oh, I don't bear any malice now," she said.  "I did at first,
+naturally.  But it all seems very ridiculous now I have had time to think
+it over.  I believe, Mr. Crocker, that I never really cared for him."
+
+"Simply an idol shattered this time," I suggested, "and not a heart
+broken."
+
+"Yes, that's it," said she.
+
+"I am glad to hear it," said I, much pleased that she had taken such a
+sensible view.  "But you are engaged to him."
+
+"I was."
+
+"You have broken the engagement, then?"
+
+"No, I--haven't," she said.
+
+"Then he has broken it?"
+
+She did not appear to resent this catechism.
+
+"That's the strange part of it," said Miss Trevor, "he hasn't even
+thought it necessary."
+
+"It is clear, then, that you are still engaged to him," said I, smiling
+at her blank face.
+
+"I suppose I am," she cried.  "Isn't it awful?  What shall I do, Mr.
+Crocker?  You are so sensible, and have had so much experience."
+
+"I beg your pardon," I remarked grimly.
+
+"Oh, you know what I mean: not that kind of experience, of course.  But
+breach of promise cases and that sort of thing.  I have a photograph of
+him with something written over it."
+
+"Something compromising?"  I inquired.
+
+"Yes, you would probably call it so," she answered, reddening.  "But
+there is no need of my repeating it.  And then I have a lot of other
+things.  If I write to break off the engagement I shall lose dignity, and
+it will appear as though I had regrets.  I don't wish him to think that,
+of all things.  What shall I do?"
+
+"Do nothing," I said.
+
+"What do you mean?"
+
+"Just that.  Do not break the engagement, and keep the photograph and
+other articles for evidence.  If he makes any overtures, don't consider
+them for an instant.  And I think, Miss Trevor, you will succeed sooner
+or later in making him very uncomfortable.  Were he any one else I
+shouldn't advise such a course, but you won't lose any dignity and self-
+respect by it, as no one will be likely to hear of it.  He can't be taken
+seriously, and plainly he has never taken any one else so.  He hasn't
+even gone to the trouble to notify you that he does not intend marrying
+you."
+
+I saw from her expression that my suggestion was favorably entertained.
+
+"What a joke it would be!"  she cried delightedly.
+
+"And a decided act of charity," I added, "to the next young woman on his
+list."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII
+
+The humor of my proposition appealed more strongly to Miss Trevor than I
+had looked for, and from that time forward she became her old self again;
+for, even after she had conquered her love for the Celebrity, the
+mortification of having been jilted by him remained.  Now she had come
+to look upon the matter in its true proportions, and her anticipation of
+a possible chance of teaching him a lesson was a pleasure to behold.  Our
+table in the dining-room became again the abode of scintillating wit and
+caustic repartee, Farrar bracing up to his old standard, and the demand
+for seats in the vicinity rose to an animated competition.  Mr. Charles
+Wrexell Allen's chair was finally awarded to a nephew of Judge Short, who
+could turn a story to perfection.
+
+So life at the inn settled down again to what it had been before the
+Celebrity came to disturb it.
+
+I had my own reasons for staying away from Mohair.  More than once as I
+drove over to the county-seat in my buggy I had met the Celebrity on a
+tall tandem cart, with one of Mr. Cooke's high-steppers in the lead, and
+Miss Thorn in the low seat.  I had forgotten to mention that my friend
+was something of a whip.  At such times I would bow very civilly and pass
+on; not without a twinge, I confess.  And as the result of one of these
+meetings I had to retrace several miles of my road for a brief I had
+forgotten.  After that I took another road, several miles longer, for the
+sight of Miss Thorn with him seriously disturbed my peace of mind.
+But at length the day came, as I had feared, when circumstances forced me
+to go to my client's place.  One morning Miss Trevor and I were about
+stepping into the canoe for our customary excursion when one of Mr.
+Cooke's footmen arrived with a note for each of us.  They were from Mrs.
+Cooke, and requested the pleasure of our company that day for luncheon.
+"If you were I, would you go?" Miss Trevor asked doubtfully.
+
+"Of course," I replied.
+
+"But the consequences may be unpleasant."
+
+"Don't let them," I said.  "Of what use is tact to a woman if not for
+just such occasions?"
+
+My invitation had this characteristic note tacked on the end of it
+
+"DEAR CROCKER: Where are you?  Where is the judge?  F. F. C."
+
+I corralled the judge, and we started off across the fields, in no very
+mild state of fear of that gentleman's wife, whose vigilance was seldom
+relaxed.  And thus we came by a circuitous route to Mohair, the judge
+occupied by his own guilty thoughts, and I by others not less disturbing.
+My client welcomed the judge with that warmth of manner which grappled so
+many of his friends to his heart, and they disappeared together into the
+Ethiopian card-room, which was filled with the assegais and exclamation
+point shields Mr. Cooke had had made at the Sawmill at Beaverton.
+
+I learned from one of the lords-in-waiting loafing about the hall that
+Mrs. Cooke was out on the golf links, chaperoning some of the Asquith
+young women whose mothers had not seen fit to ostracize Mohair.  Mr.
+Cooke's ten friends were with them.  But this discreet and dignified
+servant could not reveal the whereabouts of Miss Thorn and of Mr. Allen,
+both of whom I was decidedly anxious to avoid.  I was much disgusted,
+therefore, to come upon the Celebrity in the smoking-room, writing
+rapidly, with, sheets of manuscript piled beside him.  And he was quite
+good-natured over my intrusion.
+
+"No," said he, "don't go.  It's only a short story I promised for a
+Christmas number.  They offered me fifteen cents a word and promised to
+put my name on the cover in red, so I couldn't very well refuse.  It's no
+inspiration, though, I tell you that."  He rose and pressed a bell behind
+him and ordered whiskeys and ginger ales, as if he were in a hotel."  Sit
+down, Crocker," he said, waving me to a morocco chair.  "Why don't you
+come over to see us oftener?"
+
+"I've been quite busy," I said.
+
+This remark seemed to please him immensely.
+
+"What a sly old chap you are," said he; "really, I shall have to go back
+to the inn and watch you."
+
+"What the deuce do you mean?"  I demanded.
+
+He looked me over in well-bred astonishment and replied:
+
+"Hang me, Crocker, if I can make you out.  You seem to know the world
+pretty well, and yet when a fellow twits you on a little flirtation you
+act as though you were going to black his eyes."
+
+"A little flirtation!" I repeated, aghast.
+
+"Oh, well," he said, smiling, "we won't quarrel over a definition.  Call
+it anything you like."
+
+"Don't you think this a little uncalled for?"  I asked, beginning to lose
+my temper.
+
+"Bless you, no.  Not among friends: not among such friends as we are."
+
+"I didn't know we were such devilish good friends," I retorted warmly.
+
+"Oh, yes, we are, devilish good friends," he answered with assurance;
+"known each other from boyhood, and all that.  And I say, old chap," he
+added, "you needn't be jealous of me, you know.  I got out of that long
+ago.  And I'm after something else now."
+
+For a space I was speechless.  Then the ludicrous side of the matter
+struck me, and I laughed in spite of myself.  Better, after all, to
+deal with a fool according to his folly.  The Celebrity glanced at the
+door and drew his chair closer to mine.
+
+"Crocker," he said confidentially, "I'm glad you came here to-day.  There
+is a thing or two I wished to consult you about."
+
+"Professional?" I asked, trying to head him off.
+
+"No," he replied, "amateur,--beastly amateur.  A bungle, if I ever made
+one.  The truth is, I executed rather a faux pas over there at Asquith.
+Tell me," said he, diving desperately at the root of it, "how does Miss
+Trevor feel about my getting out?  I meant to let her down easier; 'pon
+my word, I did."
+
+This is a way rascals have of judging other men by themselves.
+
+"Well;" said I, "it was rather a blow, of course."
+
+"Of course," he assented.
+
+"And all the more unexpected," I went on, "from a man who has written
+reams on constancy."
+
+I flatter myself that this nearly struck home, for he was plainly
+annoyed.
+
+"Oh, bother that!"  said he.  "How many gowns believe in their own
+sermons?  How many lawyers believe in their own arguments?"
+
+"Unhappily, not as many as might."
+
+"I don't object to telling you, old chap," he continued, "that I went in
+a little deeper than I intended.  A good deal deeper, in fact.  Miss
+Trevor is a deuced fine girl, and all that; but absolutely impossible.
+I forgot myself, and I confess I was pretty close to caught."
+
+"I congratulate you," I said gravely.
+
+"That's the point of it.  I don't know that I'm out of the woods yet.
+I wanted to see you and find out how she was acting."
+
+My first impulse was to keep him in hot water.  Fortunately I thought
+twice.
+
+"I don't know anything about Miss Trevor's feelings--" I began.
+
+"Naturally not--" he interrupted, with a smile.
+
+"But I have a notion that, if she ever fancied you, she doesn't care a
+straw for you to-day."
+
+"Doesn't she now," he replied somewhat regretfully.  Here was one of the
+knots in his character I never could untie.
+
+"Understand, that is simply my guess," I said.  "You must have discovered
+that it is never possible to be sure of a woman's feelings."
+
+"Found that out long ago," he replied with conviction, and added:
+"Then you think I need not anticipate any trouble from her?"
+
+"I have told you what I think," I answered; "you know better than I what
+the situation is."
+
+He still lingered.
+
+"Does she appear to be in,--ah,--in good spirits?"
+
+I had work to keep my face straight.
+
+"Capital," I said; "I never saw her happier."
+
+This seemed to satisfy him.
+
+"Downcast at first, happy now," he remarked thoughtfully.  "Yes, she got
+over it.  I'm much obliged to you, Crocker."
+
+I left him to finish his short story and walked out across the circle of
+smooth lawn towards the golf links.  And there I met Mrs. Cooke and her
+niece coming in together.  The warm red of her costume became Miss Thorn
+wonderfully, and set off the glossy black of her hair.  And her skin was
+glowing from the exercise.  An involuntary feeling of admiration for this
+tall, athletic young woman swept over me, and I halted in my steps for no
+other reason, I believe, than that I might look upon her the longer.
+
+What man, I thought resentfully, would not travel a thousand miles to be
+near her?
+
+"It is Mr. Crocker," said Mrs. Cooke; "I had given up all hope of ever
+seeing you again.  Why have you been such a stranger?"
+
+"As if you didn't know, Aunt Maria," Miss Thorn put in gayly.
+
+"Oh yes, I know," returned her aunt, "and I have not been foolish enough
+to invite the bar without the magnet.  And yet, Mr. Crocker," she went on
+playfully, "I had imagined that you were the one man in a hundred who did
+not need an inducement."
+
+Miss Thorn began digging up the turf with her lofter: it was a painful
+moment for me.
+
+"You might at least have tried me, Mrs. Cooke," I said.
+
+Miss Thorn looked up quickly from the ground, her eyes searchingly upon
+my face.  And Mrs. Cooke seemed surprised.
+
+"We are glad you came, at any rate," she answered.
+
+And at luncheon my seat was next to Miss Thorn's, while the Celebrity was
+placed at the right of Miss Trevor.  I observed that his face went blank
+from time to time at some quip of hers: even a dull woman may be sharp
+under such circumstances, and Miss Trevor had wits to spare.  And I
+marked that she never allowed her talk with him to drift into deep water;
+when there was danger of this she would draw the entire table into their
+conversation by some adroit remark, or create a laugh at his expense.
+As for me, I held a discreet if uncomfortable silence, save for the few
+words which passed between Miss Thorn and me.  Once or twice I caught her
+covert glance on me.  But I felt, and strongly, that there could be no
+friendship between us now, and I did not care to dissimulate merely for
+the sake of appearances.  Besides, I was not a little put out over the
+senseless piece of gossip which had gone abroad concerning me.
+
+It had been arranged as part of the day's programme that Mr. Cooke was to
+drive those who wished to go over the Rise in his new brake.  But the
+table was not graced by our host's presence, Mrs. Cooke apologizing for
+him, explaining that he had disappeared quite mysteriously.  It turned
+out that he and the judge had been served with luncheon in the Ethiopian
+card-room, and neither threats nor fair words could draw him away.  The
+judge had not held such cards for years, and it was in vain that I talked
+to him of consequences.  The Ten decided to remain and watch a game which
+was pronounced little short of phenomenal, and my client gave orders for
+the smaller brake and requested the Celebrity to drive.  And this he was
+nothing loth to do.  For the edification as well as the assurance of the
+party Mr. Allen explained, while we were waiting under the porte cochere,
+how he had driven the Windsor coach down Piccadilly at the height of the
+season, with a certain member of Parliament and noted whip on the box
+seat.
+
+And, to do him justice, he could drive.  He won the instant respect of
+Mr. Cooke's coachman by his manner of taking up the lines, and clinched
+it when he dropped a careless remark concerning the off wheeler.  And
+after the critical inspection of the horses which is proper he climbed up
+on the box.  There was much hesitation among the ladies as to who should
+take the seat of honor: Mrs. Cooke declining, it was pressed upon Miss
+Thorn.  But she, somewhat to my surprise, declined also, and it was
+finally filled by a young woman from Asquith.
+
+As we drove off I found myself alone with Mrs. Cooke's niece on the seat
+behind.
+
+The day was cool and snappy for August, and the Rise all green with a
+lavish nature.  Now we, plunged into a deep shade with the boughs lacing
+each other overhead, and crossed dainty, rustic bridges over the cold
+trout-streams, the boards giving back the clatter of our horses' feet: or
+anon we shot into a clearing, with a colored glimpse of the lake and its
+curving shore far below us.  I had always loved that piece of country
+since the first look I had of it from the Asquith road, and the sight of
+it rarely failed to set my blood a-tingle with pleasure.  But to-day I
+scarcely saw it.  I wondered what whim had impelled Miss Thorn to get
+into this seat.  She paid but little attention to me during the first
+part of the drive, though a mere look in my direction seemed to afford
+her amusement.  And at last, half way up the Rise, where the road takes
+to an embankment, I got a decided jar.
+
+"Mr. Allen," she cried to the Celebrity, "you must stop here.  Do you
+remember how long we tarried over this bit on Friday?"
+
+He tightened the lines and threw a meaning glance backward.
+
+I was tempted to say:
+
+"You and Mr. Allen should know these roads rather well, Miss Thorn."
+
+"Every inch of them," she replied.
+
+We must have gone a mile farther when she turned upon me.
+
+"It is your duty to be entertaining, Mr. Crocker.  What in the world are
+you thinking of, with your brow all puckered up, forbidding as an owl?"
+
+"I was thinking how some people change," I answered, with a readiness
+which surprised me.
+
+"Strange," she said, "I had the same thing in mind.  I hear decidedly
+queer tales of you; canoeing every day that business does not prevent,
+and whole evenings spent at the dark end of a veranda."
+
+"What rubbish!" I exclaimed, not knowing whether to be angered or amused.
+
+"Come, sir," she said, with mock sternness, "answer the charge.  Guilty
+or not guilty?"
+
+"First let me make a counter-charge," said I; "you have given me the
+right.  Not long ago a certain young lady came to Mohair and found there
+a young author of note with whom she had had some previous acquaintance.
+She did not hesitate to intimate her views on the character of this
+Celebrity, and her views were not favorable."
+
+I paused.  There was some satisfaction in seeing Miss Thorn biting her
+lip.
+
+"Well?"
+
+"Not at all favorable, mind you," I went on.  "And the young lady's
+general appearance was such as to lead one to suppose her the sincerest
+of persons.  Now I am at a loss to account for a discrepancy between her
+words and her actions."
+
+While I talked Miss Thorn's face had been gradually turning from mine
+until now I saw only the dainty knot at the back of her head.  Her
+shoulders were quivering with laughter.  But presently her face came back
+all gravity, save a suspicious gleam of mirth in the eyes.
+
+"It does seem inconsistent, Mr. Crocker; I grant you that.  No doubt it
+is so.  But let me ask you something: did you ever yet know a woman who
+was not inconsistent?"
+
+I did not realize I had been side-tracked until I came to think over this
+conversation afterwards.
+
+"I am not sure," I replied.  "Perhaps I merely hoped that one such
+existed."
+
+She dropped her eyes.
+
+"Then don't be surprised at my failing," said she.  "No doubt I
+criticised the Celebrity severely.  I cannot recall what I said.
+But it is upon the better side of a character that we must learn to look.
+Did it ever strike you that the Celebrity had some exceedingly fine
+qualities?"
+
+"No, it did not," I answered positively.
+
+"Nevertheless, he has," she went on, in all apparent seriousness.
+"He drives almost as well as Uncle Farquhar, dances well, and is a
+capital paddle."
+
+"You were speaking of qualities, not accomplishments," I said.
+A horrible suspicion that she was having a little fun at my expense
+crossed my mind.
+
+Very good, then.  You must admit that he is generous to a fault, amiable;
+and persevering, else he would never have attained the position he
+enjoys.  And his affection for you, Mr. Crocker, is really touching,
+considering how little he gets in return."
+
+"Come, Miss Thorn," I said severely, "this is ridiculous.  I don't like
+him, and never shall.  I liked him once, before he took to writing
+drivel.  But he must have been made over since then.  And what is more,
+with all respect to your opinion, I don't believe he likes me."
+
+Miss Thorn straightened up with dignity and said:
+
+"You do him an injustice.  But perhaps you will learn to appreciate him
+before he leaves Mohair."
+
+"That is not likely," I replied--not at all pleasantly, I fear.  And
+again I thought I observed in her the same desire to laugh she had before
+exhibited.
+
+And all the way back her talk was of nothing except the Celebrity.
+I tried every method short of absolute rudeness to change the subject,
+and went from silence to taciturnity and back again to silence.  She
+discussed his books and his mannerisms, even the growth of his
+popularity.  She repeated anecdotes of him from Naples to St.
+Petersburg, from Tokio to Cape Town.  And when we finally stopped under
+the porte cochere I had scarcely the civility left to say good-bye.
+
+I held out my hand to help her to the ground, but she paused on the
+second step.
+
+"Mr. Crocker," she observed archly, "I believe you once told me you had
+not known many girls in your life."
+
+"True," I said; "why do you ask?"
+
+"I wished to be sure of it," she replied.
+
+And jumping down without my assistance, she laughed and disappeared into
+the house.
+
+
+
+
+ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:
+
+A lie has short legs
+Deal with a fool according to his folly
+Old enough to know better, and too old to be taught
+
+
+
+
+
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