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diff --git a/old/wc47w10.txt b/old/wc47w10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..926b9ec --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc47w10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1885 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Celebrity, v2, by Winston Churchill +WC#47 in our series by Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Celebrity, Volume 2. + +Author: Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston Churchill) + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5384] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 28, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CELEBRITY, V2, BY CHURCHILL *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CELEBRITY + +By Winston Churchill + + +VOLUME 2. + + +CHAPTER V + +It was small wonder, said the knowing at Asquith, that Mr. Charles +Wrexell Allen should be attracted by Irene Trevor. With the lake +breezes of the north the red and the tan came into her cheeks, those boon +companions of the open who are best won by the water-winds. Perhaps they +brought, too, the spring to the step and the light under the long lashes +when she flashed a look across the table. Little by little it became +plain that Miss Trevor was gaining ground with the Celebrity to the +neglect of the other young women at Asquith, and when it was announced +that he was to lead the cotillon with her, the fact was regarded as +significant. Even at Asquith such things were talked about. Mr. Allen +became a topic and a matter of conjecture. He was, I believe, generally +regarded as a good match; his unimpeachable man-servant argued worldly +possessions, of which other indications were not lacking, while his crest +was cited as a material sign of family. Yet when Miss Brewster, one of +the brace of spinsters, who hailed from Brookline and purported to be an +up-to-date edition of the Boston Blue Book, questioned the Celebrity on +this vital point after the searching manner warranted by the gravity of +the subject, he was unable to acquit himself satisfactorily. When this +conversation was repeated in detail within the hearing of the father of +the young woman in question, and undoubtedly for his benefit, Mr. Trevor +threw shame to the winds and scandalized the Misses Brewster then and +there by proclaiming his father to have been a country storekeeper. +In the eyes of Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke the apotheosis of the Celebrity +was complete. The people of Asquith were not only willing to attend the +house-warming, but had been worked up to the pitch of eagerness. The +Celebrity as a matter of course was master of ceremonies. He originated +the figures and arranged the couples, of which there were twelve from +Asquith and ten additional young women. These ten were assigned to the +ten young men whom Mr. Cooke expected in his private car, and whose +appearances, heights, and temperaments the Celebrity obtained from Mr. +Cooke, carefully noted, and compared with those of the young women. Be +it said in passing that Mrs. Cooke had nothing to do with any of it, but +exhibited an almost criminal indifference. Mr. Cooke had even chosen the +favors; charity forbids that I should say what they were. + +Owing to the frequent consultations which these preparations made +necessary the Celebrity was much in the company of my client, which he +came greatly to prefer to mine, and I therefore abandoned my +determination to leave Asquith. I was settling down delightedly to my +old, easy, and unmolested existence when Farrar and I received an +invitation, which amounted to a summons, to go to Mohair and make +ourselves generally useful. So we packed up and went. We made an odd +party before the arrival of the Ten, particularly when the Celebrity +dropped in for lunch or dinner. He could not be induced to remain +permanently at Mohair because Miss Trevor was at Asquith, but he +appropriated a Hempstead cart from the Mohair stables and made the trip +sometimes twice in a day. The fact that Mrs. Cooke treated him with +unqualified disapproval did not dampen his spirits or lessen the +frequency of his visits, nor, indeed, did it seem to create any breach +between husband and wife. Mr. Cooke took it for granted that his friends +should not please his wife, and Mrs. Cooke remarked to Farrar and me that +her husband was old enough to know better, and too old to be taught. She +loved him devotedly and showed it in a hundred ways, but she was +absolutely incapable of dissimulation. + +Thanks to Mrs. Cooke, our visit to Mohair was a pleasant one. We were +able in many ways to help in the arrangements, especially Farrar, who had +charge of decorating the grounds. We saw but little of Mr. Cooke and the +Celebrity. + +The arrival of the Ten was an event of importance, and occurred the day +of the dance. I shall treat the Ten as a whole because they did not +materially differ from one another in dress or habits or ambition or +general usefulness on this earth. It is true that Mr. Cooke had been +able to make delicate distinctions between them for the aid of the +Celebrity, but such distinctions were beyond me, and the power to make +them lay only in a long and careful study of the species which I could +not afford to give. Likewise the life of any one of the Ten was the life +of all, and might be truthfully represented by a single year, since each +year was exactly like the preceding. The ordinary year, as is well- +known, begins on the first of January. But theirs was not the ordinary +year, nor the Church year, nor the fiscal year. Theirs began in the Fall +with the New York Horse Show. And I am of the opinion, though open to +correction, that they dated from the first Horse Show instead of from the +birth of Christ. It is certain that they were much better versed in the +history of the Association than in that of the Union, in the biography of +Excelsior rather than that of Lincoln. The Dog Show was another event to +which they looked forward, when they migrated to New York and put up at +the country places of their friends. But why go farther? + +The Ten made themselves very much at home at Mohair. One of them told +the Celebrity he reminded him very much of a man he had met in New York +and who had written a book, or something of that sort, which made the +Celebrity wince. The afternoon was spent in one of the stable lofts, +where Mr. Cooke had set up a mysterious L-shaped box, in one arm of which +a badger was placed by a groom, while my client's Sarah, a terrier, was +sent into the other arm to invite the badger out. His objections +exceeded the highest hopes; he dug his claws into the wood and devoted +himself to Sarah's countenance with unremitting industry. This +occupation was found so absorbing that it was with difficulty the Ten +were induced to abandon it and dress for an early dinner, and only did so +after the second peremptory message from Mrs. Cooke. + +"It's always this way," said Mr. Cooke, regretfully, as he watched Sarah +licking the accessible furrows in her face; "I never started in on +anything worth doing yet that Maria did not stop it." + +Farrar and I were not available for the dance, and after dinner we looked +about for a quiet spot in which to weather it, and where we could be +within reach if needed. Such a place as this was the Florentine +galleried porch, which ran along outside the upper windows of the ball- +room; these were flung open, for the night was warm. At one end of the +room the musicians, imported from Minneapolis by Mr. Cooke, were striking +the first discordant notes of the tuning, while at the other the +Celebrity and my client, in scarlet hunting-coats, were gravely +instructing the Ten, likewise in scarlet hunting-coats, as to their +conduct and functions. We were reviewing these interesting proceedings +when Mrs. Cooke came hurrying towards us. She held a letter in her hand. + +"You know," said she, "that Mr. Cooke is forgetful, particularly when his +mind is occupied with important matters, as it has been for some time. +Here is a letter from my niece, Miss Thorn, which he has carried in his +pocket since Monday. We expected her two weeks ago, and had given her +up. But it seems she was to leave Philadelphia on Wednesday, and will +be at that forlorn little station of Asquith at half-past nine to-night. +I want you two to go over and meet her." + +We expressed our readiness, and in ten minutes were in the station wagon, +rolling rapidly down the long drive, for it was then after nine. We +passed on the way the van of the guests from Asquith. As we reached the +lodge we heard the whistle, and we backed up against one side of the +platform as the train pulled up at the other. + +Farrar and I are not imaginative; we did not picture to ourselves any +particular type for the girl we were going to meet, we were simply doing +our best to get to the station before the train. We jumped from the +wagon and were watching the people file out of the car, and I noticed +that more than one paused to look back over their shoulders as they +reached the door. Then came a maid with hand-bag and shawls, and after +her a tall young lady. She stood for a moment holding her skirt above +the grimy steps, with something of the stately pose which Richter has +given his Queen Louise on the stairway, and the light of the reflector +fell full upon her. She looked around expectantly, and recognizing Mrs. +Cooke's maid, who had stepped forward to relieve hers of the shawls, Miss +Thorn greeted her with a smile which greatly prepossessed us in her +favor. + +"How do you do, Jennie?" she said. "Did any one else come?" + +"Yes, Miss Marian," replied Jennie, abashed but pleased,--"these +gentlemen." + +Farrar and I introduced ourselves, awkwardly enough, and we both tried to +explain at once how it was that neither Mr. nor Mrs. Cooke was there to +meet her. Of course we made an absolute failure of it. She scanned our +faces with a puzzled expression for a while and then broke into a laugh. + +"I think I understand," she said; "they are having the house-warming." + +"She's first-rate at guessing," said Farrar to me as we fled +precipitately to see that the trunks were hoisted into the basket. +Neither of us had much presence of mind as we climbed into the wagon, +and, what was even stranger, could not account for the lack of it. Miss +Thorn was seated in the corner; in spite of the darkness I could see that +she was laughing at us still. + +"I feel very badly that I should have taken you away from the dance," we +heard her say. + +"We don't dance," I answered clumsily, "and we were glad to come." + +"Yes, we were glad to come," Farrar chimed in. + +Then we relapsed into a discomfited silence, and wished we were anywhere +else. But Miss Thorn relieved the situation by laughing aloud, and with +such a hearty enjoyment that instead of getting angry and more mortified +we began to laugh ourselves, and instantly felt better. After that we +got along famously. She had at once the air of good fellowship and the +dignity of a woman, and she seemed to understand Farrar and me perfectly. +Not once did she take us over our heads, though she might have done so +with ease, and we knew this and were thankful. We began to tell her +about Mohair and the cotillon, and of our point of observation from the +Florentine galleried porch, and she insisted she would join us there. +By the time we reached the house we were thanking our stars she had come. +Mrs. Cooke came out under the port-cochere to welcome her. + +"Unfortunately there is no one to dance with you, Marian," she said; "but +if I had not by chance gone through your uncle's pockets, there would +have been no one to meet you." + +I think I had never felt my deficiency in dancing until that moment. But +Miss Thorn took her aunt's hand affectionately in hers. + +"My dear Aunt Maria," said she, "I would not dance to-night if there were +twenty to choose from. I should like nothing better than to look on with +these two. We are the best of friends already," she added, turning +towards us, "are we not?" + +"We are indeed," we hastened to assure her. + +Mrs. Cooke smiled. + +"You should have been a man, Marian," she said as they went upstairs +together. + +We made our way to the galleried porch and sat down, there being a lull +in the figures just then. We each took out a cigar and lighted a match; +and then looked across at the other. We solemnly blew our matches out. + +"Perhaps she doesn't like smoke," said Farrar, voicing the sentiment. + +"Perhaps not," said I. + +Silence. + +"I wonder how she will get along with the Ten?" I queried. + +"Better than with us," he answered in his usual strain. "They're +trained." + +"Or with Allen?" I added irresistibly. + +"Women are all alike," said Farrar. + +At this juncture Miss Thorn herself appeared at the end of the gallery, +her shoulders wrapped in a gray cape trimmed with fur. She stood +regarding us with some amusement as we rose to receive her. + +"Light your cigars and be sensible," said she, "or I shall go in." + +We obeyed. The three of us turned to the window to watch the figure, the +music of which was just beginning. Mr. Cooke, with the air of an English +squire at his own hunt ball, was strutting contentedly up and down one +end of the room, now pausing to exchange a few hearty words with some +Presbyterian matron from Asquith, now to congratulate Mr. Trevor on the +appearance of his daughter. Lined against the opposite wall were the +Celebrity and his ten red-coated followers, just rising for the figure. +It was very plain that Miss Trevor was radiantly happy; she was easily +the handsomest girl in the room, and I could not help philosophizing +when I saw her looking up into the Celebrity's eyes upon the seeming +inconsistency of nature, who has armed and warned woman against all but +her most dangerous enemy. + +And then a curious thing happened. The Celebrity, as if moved by a +sudden uncontrollable impulse, raised his eyes until they rested on the +window in which we were. Although his dancing was perfect, he lost the +step without apparent cause, his expression changed, and for the moment +he seemed to be utterly confused. But only for the moment; in a trice he +had caught the time again and swept Miss Trevor rapidly down the room and +out of sight. I looked instinctively at the girl beside me. She had +thrown her head forward, and in the streaming light I saw that her lips +were parted in a smile. + +I resolved upon a stroke. + +"Mr. Allen," I remarked, "leads admirably." + +"Mr. Allen!" she exclaimed, turning on me. + +"Yes, it is Mr. Allen who is leading," I repeated. + +An expression of perplexity spread over her face, but she said nothing. +My curiosity was aroused to a high pitch, and questions were rising to my +lips which I repressed with difficulty. For Miss Thorn had displayed, +purposely or not, a reticence which my short acquaintance with her +compelled me to respect; and, besides, I was bound by a promise not to +betray the Celebrity's secret. I was, however, convinced from what had +occurred that she had met the Celebrity in the East, and perhaps known +him. + +Had she fallen in love with him, as was the common fate of all young +women he met? I changed my opinion on this subject a dozen times. Now I +was sure, as I looked at her, that she was far too sensible; again, a +doubt would cross my mind as the Celebrity himself would cross my view, +the girl on his arm reduced to adoration. I followed him narrowly when +in sight. Miss Thorn was watching him, too, her eyes half closed, as +though in thought. But beyond the fact that he threw himself into the +dance with a somewhat increased fervor, perhaps, his manner betokened no +uneasiness, and not even by a glance did he betray any disturbing +influence from above. + +Thus we stood silently until the figure was finished, when Miss Thorn +seated herself in one of the wicker chairs behind us. + +"Doesn't it make you wish to dance?" said Farrar to her. "It is hard +luck you should be doomed to spend the evening with two such useless +fellows as we are." + +She did not catch his remark at first, as was natural in a person +preoccupied. Then she bit her lips to repress a smile. + +"I assure you, Mr. Farrar," she said with force, "I have never in my life +wished to dance as little as I do now." + +But a voice interrupted her, and the scarlet coat of the Celebrity was +thrust into the light between us. Farrar excused himself abruptly and +disappeared. + +"Never wished to dance less!" cried the Celebrity. "Upon my word, Miss +Thorn, that's too bad. I came up to ask you to reconsider your +determination, as one of the girls from Asquith is leaving, and there is +an extra man." + +"You are very kind," said Miss Thorn, quietly, "but I prefer to remain +here." + +My surmise, then, was correct. She had evidently met the Celebrity, and +there was that in his manner of addressing her, without any formal +greeting, which seemed to point to a close acquaintance. + +"You know Mr. Allen, then, Miss Thorn?" said I. + +"What can you mean?" she exclaimed, wheeling on me; "this is not Mr. +Allen." + +"Hang you, Crocker," the Celebrity put in impatiently; "Miss Thorn knows +who I am as well as you do." + +"I confess it is a little puzzling," said she; "perhaps it is because I +am tired from travelling, and my brain refuses to work. But why in the +name of all that is strange do you call him Mr. Allen?" + +The Celebrity threw himself into the chair beside her and asked +permission to light a cigarette. + +"I am going to ask you the favor of respecting my incognito, Miss Thorn, +as Crocker has done," he said. "Crocker knew me in the East, too. I had +not counted upon finding him at Asquith." + +Miss Thorn straightened herself and made a gesture of impatience. + +"An incognito!" she cried. "But you have taken another man's name. And +you already had his face and figure!" + +I jumped. + +"That is so," he calmly returned; "the name was ready to hand, and so I +took it. I don't imagine it will make any difference to him. It's only +a whim of mine, and with me there's no accounting for a whim. I make it +a point to gratify every one that strikes me. I confess to being +eccentric, you know." + +"You must get an enormous amount of gratification out of this," she said +dryly. "What if the other man should happen along?" + +"Scarcely at Asquith." + +"I have known stranger things to occur," said she. + +The Celebrity smiled and smoked. + +"I'll wager, now," he went on, "that you little thought to find me here +incognito. But it is delicious, I assure you, to lead once more a +commonplace and unmolested existence." + +"Delightful," said Miss Thorn. + +"People never consider an author apart from his work, you know, and I +confess I had a desire to find out how I would get along. And there +comes a time when a man wishes he had never written a book, and a longing +to be sought after for his own sake and to be judged on his own merits. +And then it is a great relief to feel that one is not at the beck and +call of any one and every one wherever one goes, and to know that one +is free to choose one's own companions and do as one wishes." + +"The sentiment is good," Miss Thorn agreed, "very good. But doesn't it +seem a little odd, Mr. Crocker," she continued, appealing to me, "that a +man should take the pains to advertise a trip to Europe in order to +gratify a whim of this sort?" + +"It is indeed incomprehensible to me," I replied, with a kind of grim +pleasure, "but you must remember that I have always led a commonplace +existence." + +Although the Celebrity was almost impervious to sarcasm, he was now +beginning to exhibit visible signs of uneasiness, the consciousness +dawning upon him that his eccentricity was not receiving the ovation it +merited. It was with a palpable relief that he heard the first warning +notes of the figure. + +"Am I to understand that you wish me to do my part in concealing your +identity?" asked Miss Thorn, cutting him short as he was expressing +pleasure at her arrival. + +"If you will be so kind," he answered, and departed with a bow. +There was a mischievous mirth in her eye as she took her place in the +window. Below in the ball-room sat Miss Trevor surrounded by men, and +I saw her face lighting at the Celebrity's approach. + +"Who is that beautiful girl he is dancing with?" said Miss Thorn. + +I told her. + +"Have you read his books?" she asked, after a pause. + +"Some of them." + +"So have I" + +The Celebrity was not mentioned again that evening. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +As an endeavor to unite Mohair and Asquith the cotillon had proved a +dismal failure. They were as the clay and the brass. The next morning +Asquith was split into factions and rent by civil strife, and the porch +of the inn was covered by little knots of women, all trying to talk at +once; their faces told an ominous tale. Not a man was to be seen. The +Minneapolis, St. Paul, and Chicago papers, all of which had previously +contained elaborate illustrated accounts of Mr. Cooke's palatial park and +residence, came out that morning bristling with headlines about the ball, +incidentally holding up the residents of a quiet and retiring little +community in a light that scandalized them beyond measure. And Mr. +Charles Wrexell Allen, treasurer of the widely known Miles Standish +Bicycle Company, was said to have led the cotillon in a manner that left +nothing to be desired. + +So it was this gentleman whom the Celebrity was personating! A queer +whim indeed. + +After that, I doubt if the court of Charles the Second was regarded by +the Puritans with a greater abhorrence than was Mohair by the good ladies +of Asquith. Mr. Cooke and his ten friends were branded as profligates +whose very scarlet coats bore witness that they were of the devil. Mr. +Cooke himself, who particularly savored of brimstone, would much better +have remained behind the arras, for he was denounced with such energy and +bitterness that those who might have attempted his defence were silent, +and their very silence told against them. Mr. Cooke had indeed outdone +himself in hospitality. He had posted punch-bowls in every available +corner, and so industriously did he devote himself to the duties of host, +as he conceived them, that as many as four of the patriarchs of Asquith +and pillars of the church had returned home more or less insensible, +while others were quite incoherent. The odds being overwhelming, the +master of Mohair had at length fallen a victim to his own good cheer. +He took post with Judge Short at the foot of the stair, where, in spite +of the protests of the Celebrity and of other well-disposed persons, the +two favored the parting guests with an occasional impromptu song and +waved genial good-byes to the ladies. And, when Mrs. Short attempted to +walk by with her head in the air, as though the judge were in an +adjoining county, he so far forgot his judicial dignity as to chuck her +under the chin, an act which was applauded with much boyish delight by +Mr. Cooke, and a remark which it is just as well not to repeat. The +judge desired to spend the night at Mohair, but was afterwards taken home +by main force, and the next day his meals were brought up to him. It is +small wonder that Mrs. Short was looked upon as the head of the outraged +party. The Ten were only spoken of in whispers. Three of them had been +unable to come to time when the last figure was called, whereupon their +partners were whisked off the scene without so much as being allowed to +pay their respects to the hostess. Besides these offences, there were +other minor barbarisms too numerous to mention. + +Although Mrs. Short's party was all-powerful at Asquith, there were some +who, for various reasons, refused to agree in the condemnation of Mr. +Cooke. Judge Short and the other gentlemen in his position were, of +course, restricted, but Mr. Trevor came out boldly in the face of severe +criticism and declared that his daughter should accept any invitation +from Mrs. Cooke that she chose, and paid but little attention to the +coolness resulting therefrom. He was fast getting a reputation for +oddity. And the Celebrity tried to conciliate both parties, and +succeeded, though none but he could have done it. At first he was eyed +with suspicion and disgust as he drove off to Mohair in his Hempstead +cart, and was called many hard names. But he had a way about him which +won them in the end. + +A few days later I ran over to Mohair and found my client with the +colored Sunday supplement of a Chicago newspaper spread out before him, +eyeing the page with something akin to childish delight. I discovered +that it was a picture of his own hunt ball, and as a bit of color it was +marvellous, the scarlet coats being very much in evidence. + +"There, old man!" he exclaimed. "What do you think of that? Something +of a sendoff, eh?" And he pointed to a rather stout and important +gentleman in the foreground. "That's me!" he said proudly, "and they +wouldn't do that for Farquhar Fenelon Cooke in Philadelphia." + +"A prophet is without honor in his own country," I remarked. + +"I don't set up for a prophet," said Mr. Cooke, "but I did predict that I +would start a ripple here, didn't I?" + +I did not deny this. + +"How do I stand over there?" he inquired, designating Asquith by a twist +of the head. "I hear they're acting all over the road; that they think +I'm the very devil." + +"Well, your stock has dropped some, I admit," I answered. "They didn't +take kindly to your getting the judge drunk, you know." + +"They oughtn't to complain about that," said my client; "and besides, he +wasn't drunk enough to amount to anything." + +"However that may be," said I, "you have the credit for leading him +astray. But there is a split in your favor." + +"I'm glad to know that," he said, brightening; "then I won't have to +import any more." + +"Any more what?" I asked. + +"People from the East to keep things moving, of course. What I have here +and those left me at the inn ought to be enough to run through the summer +with. Don't you think so?" + +I thought so, and was moving off when he called me back. + +"Is the judge locked up, old man?" he demanded. + +"He's under rather close surveillance," I replied, smiling. + +"Crocker;" he said confidentially, "see if you can't smuggle him over +here some day soon. The judge always holds good cards, and plays a +number one hand." + +I promised, and escaped. On the veranda I came upon Miss Thorn +surrounded by some of her uncle's guests. I imagine that she was bored, +for she looked it. + +"Mr. Crocker," she called out, "you're just the man I have been wishing +to see." + +The others naturally took this for a dismissal, and she was not long in +coming to her point when we were alone. + +"What is it you know about this queer but gifted genius who is here so +mysteriously?" she asked. + +"Nothing whatever," I confessed. "I knew him before he thought of +becoming a genius." + +"Retrogression is always painful," she said; "but tell me something about +him then." + +I told her all I knew, being that narrated in these pages. "Now," +said I, "if you will pardon a curiosity on my part, from what you +said the other evening I inferred that he closely resembles the man +whose name it pleased him to assume. And that man, I learn from the +newspapers, is Mr. Charles Wrexell Allen of the 'Miles Standish Bicycle +Company.'" + +Miss Thorn made a comic gesture of despair. + +"Why he chose Mr. Allen's name," she said, "is absolutely beyond my +guessing. Unless there is some purpose behind the choice, which I do not +for an instant believe, it was a foolish thing to do, and one very apt to +lead to difficulties. I can understand the rest. He has a reputation +for eccentricity which he feels he must keep up, and this notion of +assuming a name evidently appealed to him as an inspiration." + +"But why did he come out here?" I asked. "Can you tell me that?" + +Miss Thorn flushed slightly, and ignored the question. + +"I met the 'Celebrity,' as you call him," she said, "for the first time +last winter, and I saw him frequently during the season. Of course +I had heard not a little about him and his peculiarities. His name seems +to have gone the length and breadth of the land. And, like most girls, +I had read his books and confess I enjoyed them. It is not too much to +say," she added archly, "that I made a sort of archangel out of the +author." + +"I can understand that," said I. + +"But that did not last," she continued hastily. "I see I have got beside +my story. I saw a great deal of him in New York. He came to call, and I +believe I danced with him once or twice. And then my aunt, Mrs. Rivers, +bought a place near Epsom, in Massachusetts, and had a house party there +in May. And the Celebrity was invited." + +I smiled. + +"Oh, I assure you it was a mere chance," said Miss Thorn. "I mention +this that I may tell you the astonishing part of it all. Epsom is one of +those smoky manufacturing towns one sees in New England, and the 'Miles +Standish' bicycle is made there. The day after we all arrived at my +aunt's a man came up the drive on a wheel whom I greeted in a friendly +way and got a decidedly uncertain bow in return. + +"I thought it rather a strange shift from a marked cordiality, and spoke +of the circumstance to my aunt, who was highly amused. 'Why, my dear,' +said she, 'that was Mr. Allen, of the bicycle company. I was nearly +deceived myself.'" + +"And is the resemblance so close as that?" I exclaimed. + +"So close! Believe me, they are as like as two ices from a mould. Of +course, when they are together one can distinguish the Celebrity from the +bicycle man. The Celebrity's chin is a little more square, and his nose +straighter, and there are other little differences. I believe Mr. Allen +has a slight scar on his forehead. But the likeness was remarkable, +nevertheless, and it grew to be a standing joke with us. They actually +dressed ludicrously alike. The Celebrity became so sensitive about it +that he went back to New York before the party broke up. We grew to be +quite fond of the bicycle man." + +She paused and shifted her chair, which had rocked close to mine. + +"And can you account for his coming to Asquith?" I asked innocently. + +She was plainly embarrassed. + +"I suppose I might account for it, Mr. Crocker," she replied. Then she +added, with something of an impulse, "After all, it is foolish of me not +to tell you. You probably know the Celebrity well enough to have learned +that he takes idiotic fancies to young women." + +"Not always idiotic," I protested. + +"You mean that the young women are not always idiotic, I suppose. No, +not always, but nearly always. I imagine he got the idea of coming to +Asquith," she went on with a change of manner, "because I chanced to +mention that I was coming out here on a visit." + +"Oh," I remarked, and there words failed me. + +Her mouth was twitching with merriment. + +"I am afraid you will have to solve the rest of it for yourself, Mr. +Crocker," said she; "that is all of my contribution. My uncle tells me +you are the best lawyer in the country, and I am surprised that you are +so slow in getting at motives." + +And I did attempt to solve it on my way back to Asquith. The conclusion +I settled to, everything weighed, was this: that the Celebrity had become +infatuated with Miss Thorn (I was far from blaming him for that) and had +followed her first to Epsom and now to Asquith. And he had chosen to +come West incognito partly through the conceit which he admitted and +gloried in, and partly because he believed his prominence sufficient to +obtain for him an unpleasant notoriety if he continued long enough to +track the same young lady about the country. Hence he had taken the +trouble to advertise a trip abroad to account for his absence. +Undoubtedly his previous conquests had been made more easily, for my +second talk with Miss Thorn had put my mind at rest as to her having +fallen a victim to his fascinations. Her arrival at Mohair being +delayed, the Celebrity had come nearly a month too soon, and in the +interval that tendency of which he was the dupe still led him by the +nose; he must needs make violent love to the most attractive girl on the +ground,--Miss Trevor. Now that one still more attractive had arrived +I was curious to see how he would steer between the two, for I made no +doubt that matters had progressed rather far with Miss Trevor. And in +this I was not mistaken. + +But his choice of the name of Charles Wrexell Allen bothered me +considerably. I finally decided that he had taken it because convenient, +and because he believed Asquith to be more remote from the East than the +Sandwich Islands. + +Reaching the inn grounds, I climbed the hillside to a favorite haunt of +mine, a huge boulder having a sloping back covered with soft turf. Hence +I could watch indifferently both lake and sky. Presently, however, I was +aroused by voices at the foot of the rock, and peering over the edge I +discovered a kind of sewing-circle gathered there. The foliage hid me +completely. I perceived the Celebrity perched upon the low branch of an +apple-tree, and Miss Trevor below him, with two other girls, doing fancy- +work. I shall not attempt to defend the morality of my action, but I +could not get away without discovery, and the knowledge that I had heard +a part of their conversation might prove disquieting to them. + +The Celebrity had just published a book, under the title of 'The +Sybarites', which was being everywhere discussed; and Asquith, where +summer reading was general, came in for its share of the debate. Why it +was called The Sybarites I have never discovered. I did not read the +book because I was sick and tired of the author and his nonsense, but I +imbibed, in spite of myself, something of the story and its moral from +hearing it talked about. The Celebrity himself had listened to arguments +on the subject with great serenity, and was nothing loth to give his +opinion when appealed to. I realized at once that 'The Sybarites' was +the present topic. + +"Yes, it is rather an uncommon book," he was saying languidly, "but there +is no use writing a story unless it is uncommon." + +"Dear, how I should like to meet the author!" exclaimed a voice. +"He must be a charming man, and so young, too! I believe you said +you knew him, Mr. Allen." + +"An old acquaintance," he answered, "and I am always reminding him that +his work is overestimated." + +"How can you say he is overestimated!" said a voice. + +"You men are all jealous of him," said another. + +"Is he handsome? I have heard he is." + +"He would scarcely be called so," said the Celebrity, doubtfully. + +"He is, girls," Miss Trevor interposed; "I have seen his photograph." + +"What does he look like, Irene?" they chorussed. "Men are no judges." + +"He is tall, and dark, and broad-shouldered," Miss Trevor enumerated, +as though counting her stitches, "and he has a very firm chin, and a +straight nose, and--" + +"Perfect!" they cried. "I had an idea he was just like that. I should +go wild about him. Does he talk as well as he writes, Mr. Allen?" + +"That is admitting that he writes well." + +"Admitting?" they shouted scornfully, "and don't you admit it?" + +"Some people like his writing, I have to confess," said the Celebrity, +with becoming calmness; "certainly his personality could not sell an +edition of thirty thousand in a month. I think 'The Sybarites' the best +of his works." + +"Upon my word, Mr. Allen, I am disgusted with you," said the second +voice; "I have not found a man yet who would speak a good word for him. +But I did not think it of you." + +A woman's tongue, like a firearm, is a dangerous weapon, and often +strikes where it is least expected. I saw with a wicked delight that the +shot had told, for the Celebrity blushed to the roots of his hair, while +Miss Trevor dropped three or four stitches. + +"I do not see how you can expect men to like 'The Sybarites'," she said, +with some heat; "very few men realize or care to realize what a small +chance the average woman has. I know marriage isn't a necessary goal, +but most women, as well as most men, look forward to it at some time of +life, and, as a rule, a woman is forced to take her choice of the two or +three men that offer themselves, no matter what they are. I admire a man +who takes up the cudgels for women, as he has done." + +"Of course we admire him," they cried, as soon as Miss Trevor had stopped +for breath. + +"And can you expect a man to like a book which admits that women are the +more constant?" she went on. + +"Why, Irene, you are quite rabid on the subject," said the second voice; +"I did not say I expected it. I only said I had hoped to find Mr. Allen, +at least, broad enough to agree with the book." + +"Doesn't Mr. Allen remind you a little of Desmond?" asked the first +voice, evidently anxious to avoid trouble. + +"Do you know whom he took for Desmond, Mr. Allen? I have an idea it was +himself." + +Mr. Allen, had now recovered some of his composure. + +"If so, it was done unconsciously," he said. "I suppose an author must +put his best thoughts in the mouth of his hero." + +"But it is like him?" she insisted. + +"Yes, he holds the same views." + +"Which you do not agree with." + +"I have not said I did not agree with them," he replied, taking up his +own defence; "the point is not that men are more inconstant than women, +but that women have more excuse for inconstancy. If I remember +correctly, Desmond, in a letter to Rosamond, says: 'Inconstancy in a +woman, because of the present social conditions, is often pardonable. In +a man, nothing is more despicable.' I think that is so. I believe that +a man should stick by the woman to whom he has given his word as closely +as he sticks by his friends." + +"Ah!" exclaimed the aggressive second voice, "that is all very well. But +how about the woman to whom he has not given his word? Unfortunately, +the present social conditions allow a man to go pretty far without a +definite statement." + +At this I could not refrain from looking at Miss Trevor. She was bending +over her knitting and had broken her thread. + +"It is presumption for a man to speak without some foundation," said the +Celebrity, "and wrong unless he is sure of himself." + + +"But you must admit," the second voice continued, "that a man has no +right to amuse himself with a woman, and give her every reason to believe +he is going to marry her save the only manly and substantial one. And +yet that is something which happens every day. What do you think of a +man who deserts a woman under those conditions?" + +"He is a detestable dog, of course," declared the Celebrity. + +And the cock in the inn yard was silent. + +"I should love to be able to quote from a book at will," said the +quieting voice, for the sake of putting an end to an argument which bid +fair to become disagreeable. "How do you manage to do it?" + +"It was simply a passage that stuck in my mind," he answered modestly; +"when I read a book I pick them up just as a roller picks up a sod here +and there as it moves over the lawn." + +"I should think you might write, Mr. Allen, you have such an original way +of putting things!" + +"I have thought of it," returned the Celebrity, "and I may, some fine +day." + +Wherewith he thrust his hands into his pockets and sauntered off with +equanimity undisturbed, apparently unaware of the impression he had left +behind him. And the Fifth Reader story popped into my head of good King +William (or King Frederick, I forgot which), who had a royal fancy for +laying aside the gayeties of the court and straying incognito among his +plainer subjects, but whose princely origin was invariably detected in +spite of any disguise his Majesty could invent. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +I experienced a great surprise a few mornings afterwards. I had risen +quite early, and found the Celebrity's man superintending the hoisting of +luggage on top of a van. + +"Is your master leaving?" I asked. + +"He's off to Mohair now, sir," said the valet, with a salute. + +At that instant the Celebrity himself appeared. + +"Yes, old chap, I'm off to Mohair," he explained. "There's more sport in +a day up there than you get here in a season. Beastly slow place, this, +unless one is a deacon or a doctor of divinity. Why don't you come up, +Crocker? Cooke would like nothing better; he has told me so a dozen +times." + +"He is very good," I replied. I could not resist the temptation to add, +"I had an idea Asquith rather suited your purposes just now." + +"I don't quite understand," he said, jumping at the other half of my +meaning. + +"Oh, nothing. But you told me when you came here, if I am not mistaken, +that you chose Asquith because of those very qualities for which you now +condemn it." + +"Magna est vis consuetudinis," he laughed; "I thought I could stand the +life, but I can't. I am tired of their sects and synods and sermons. By +the way," said he pulling at my sleeve, "what a deuced pretty girl that +Miss Thorn is! Isn't she? Rollins, where's the cart? Well, good-bye, +Crocker; see you soon." + +He drove rapidly off as the clock struck six, and an uneasy glance he +gave the upper windows did not escape me. When Farrar appeared, I told +him what had happened. + +"Good riddance," he replied sententiously. + +We sat in silence until the bell rang, looking at the morning sun on the +lake. I was a little anxious to learn the state of Farrar's feelings in +regard to Miss Trevor, and how this new twist in affairs had affected +them. But I might as well have expected one of King Louis's carp to +whisper secrets of the old regime. The young lady came to the breakfast- +table looking so fresh and in such high spirits that I made sure she had +not heard of the Celebrity's ignoble escape. As the meal proceeded it +was easy to mark that her eye now and again fell across his empty chair, +and glanced inquiringly towards the door. I made up my mind that I would +not be the bearer of evil news, and so did Farrar, so we kept up a vapid +small-talk with Mr. Trevor on the condition of trade in the West. Miss +Trevor, however, in some way came to suspect that we could account for +that vacant seat. At last she fixed her eye inquiringly on me, and I +trembled. + +"Mr. Crocker," she began, and paused. Then she added with a fair +unconcern, "do you happen to know where Mr. Allen is this morning?" + +"He has gone over to Mohair, I believe," I replied weakly. + +"To Mohair!" she exclaimed, putting down her cup; "why, he promised to +go canoeing at ten. + +"Probably he will be back by then," I ventured, not finding it in my +heart to tell her the cruel truth. But I kept my eyes on my plate. They +say a lie has short legs. Mine had, for my black friend, Simpson, was at +that instant taking off the fruit, and overheard my remark. + +"Mr. Allen done gone for good," he put in, "done give me five dollars +last night. Why, sah," he added, scratching his head, "you was on de +poch dis mornin' when his trunks was took away!" + +It was certainly no time to quibble then. + +"His trunks!" Miss Trevor exclaimed. + +"Yes, he has left us and gone to Mohair," I said, "bag and baggage. That +is the flat truth of it." + +I suppose there is some general rule for calculating beforehand how a +young woman is going to act when news of this sort is broken. I had no +notion of what Miss Trevor would do. I believe Farrar thought she would +faint, for he laid his napkin on the table. She did nothing of the kind, +but said simply: + +"How unreliable men are!" + +I fell to guessing what her feelings were; for the life of me I could not +tell from her face. I was sorry for Miss Trevor in spite of the fact +that she had neglected to ask my advice before falling in love with the +Celebrity. I asked her to go canoeing with me. She refused kindly but +very firmly. + +It is needless to say that the Celebrity did not come back to the inn, +and as far as I could see the desertion was designed, cold-blooded, and +complete. Miss Trevor remained out of sight during the day of his +departure, and at dinner we noticed traces of a storm about her,--a storm +which had come and gone. There was an involuntary hush as she entered +the dining-room, for Asquith had been buzzing that afternoon over the +episode. And I admired the manner in which she bore her inspection. +Already rumors of the cause of Mr. Allen's departure were in active +circulation, and I was astonished to learn that he had been seen that day +seated upon Indian rock with Miss Thorn herself. This piece of news gave +me a feeling of insecurity about people, and about women in particular, +that I had never before experienced. After holding the Celebrity up to +such unmeasured ridicule as she had done, ridicule not without a +seasoning of contempt, it was difficult to believe Miss Thorn so +inconsistent as to go alone with him to Indian rock; and she was not +ignorant of Miss Trevor's experience. But the fact was attested by +trustworthy persons. + +I have often wondered what prompted me to ask Miss Trevor again to go +canoeing. To do myself justice, it was no wish of mine to meddle with or +pry into her affairs. Neither did I flatter myself that my poor company +would be any consolation for that she had lost. I shall not try to +analyze my motive. Suffice it to record that she accepted this second +invitation, and I did my best to amuse her by relating a few of my +experiences at the bar, and I told that memorable story of Farrar +throwing O'Meara into the street. We were getting along famously, +when we descried another canoe passing us at some distance, and we both +recognized the Celebrity at the paddle by the flannel jacket of his +college boat club. And Miss Thorn sat in the bow! + +"Do you know anything about that man, Miss Trevor?" I asked abruptly. + +She grew scarlet, but replied: + +"I know that he is a fraud." + +"Anything else?" + +"I can't say that I do; that is, nothing but what he has told me." + +"If you will forgive my curiosity," I said, "what has he told you?" + +"He says he is the author of The Sybarites," she answered, her lip +curling, "but of course I do not believe that, now." + +"But that happens to be true," I said, smiling. + +She clapped her hands. + +"I promised him I wouldn't tell," she cried, "but the minute I get back +to the inn I shall publish it." + +"No, don't do that just yet," said I. + +"Why not? Of course I shall." + +I had no definite reason, only a vague hope that we should get some +better sort of enjoyment out of the disclosure before the summer was +over. + +"You see," I said, "he is always getting into scrapes; he is that kind of +a man. And it is my humble opinion that he has put his head into a noose +this time, for sure. Mr. Allen, of the 'Miles Standish Bicycle +Company,' whose name he has borrowed for the occasion, is enough like +him in appearance to be his twin brother." + +"He has borrowed another man's name!" she exclaimed; "why, that's +stealing!" + +"No, merely kleptomania," I replied; "he wouldn't be the other man if he +could. But it has struck me that the real Mr. Allen might turn up here, +or some friend of his, and stir things a bit. My advice to you is to +keep quiet, and we may have a comedy worth seeing." + +"Well," she remarked, after she had got over a little of her +astonishment, "it would be great fun to tell, but I won't if you say so." + +I came to, have a real liking for Miss Trevor. Farrar used to smile when +I spoke of this, and I never could induce him to go out with us in the +canoe, which we did frequently,--in fact, every day I was at Asquith, +except of course Sundays. And we grew to understand each other very +well. She looked upon me in the same light as did my other friends,-- +that of a counsellor-at-law,--and I fell unconsciously into the role of +her adviser, in which capacity I was the recipient of many confidences I +would have got in no other way. That is, in no other way save one, and +in that I had no desire to go, even had it been possible. Miss Trevor +was only nineteen, and in her eyes I was at least sixty. + +"See here, Miss Trevor," I said to her one day after we had become more +or less intimate, "of course it's none of my business, but you didn't +feel very badly after the Celebrity went away, did you?" + +Her reply was frank and rather staggering. + +"Yes, I did. I was engaged to him, you know." + +"Engaged to him! I had no idea he ever got that far," I exclaimed. + +Miss Trevor laughed merrily. + +"It was my fault," she said; "I pinned him down, and he had to propose. +There was no way out of it. I don't mind telling you." + +I did not know whether to be flattered or aggrieved by this avowal. + +"You know," she went on, her tone half apologetic, "the day after he came +he told me who he was, and I wanted to stop the people we passed and +inform them of the lion I was walking with. And I was quite carried away +by the honor of his attentions: any girl would have been, you know." + +"I suppose so," I assented. + +"And I had heard and read so much of him, and I doted on his stories, and +all that. His heroes are divine, you must admit. And, Mr. Crocker," she +concluded with a charming naivety, "I just made up my mind I would have +him." + +"Woman proposes, and man disposes," I laughed. "He escaped in spite of +you." + +She looked at me queerly. + +"Only a jest," I said hurriedly; "your escape is the one to be thankful +for. You might have married him, like the young woman in The Sybarites. +You remember, do you not, that the hero of that book sacrifices himself +for the lady who adores him, but whom he has ceased to adore?" + +"Yes, I remember," she laughed; "I believe I know that book by heart." + +"Think of the countless girls he must have relieved of their affections +before their eyes were opened," I continued with mock gravity. "Think of +the charred trail he has left behind him. A man of that sort ought to be +put under heavy bonds not to break any more hearts. But a kleptomaniac +isn't responsible, you understand. And it isn't worth while to bear any +malice." + +"Oh, I don't bear any malice now," she said. "I did at first, +naturally. But it all seems very ridiculous now I have had time to think +it over. I believe, Mr. Crocker, that I never really cared for him." + +"Simply an idol shattered this time," I suggested, "and not a heart +broken." + +"Yes, that's it," said she. + +"I am glad to hear it," said I, much pleased that she had taken such a +sensible view. "But you are engaged to him." + +"I was." + +"You have broken the engagement, then?" + +"No, I--haven't," she said. + +"Then he has broken it?" + +She did not appear to resent this catechism. + +"That's the strange part of it," said Miss Trevor, "he hasn't even +thought it necessary." + +"It is clear, then, that you are still engaged to him," said I, smiling +at her blank face. + +"I suppose I am," she cried. "Isn't it awful? What shall I do, Mr. +Crocker? You are so sensible, and have had so much experience." + +"I beg your pardon," I remarked grimly. + +"Oh, you know what I mean: not that kind of experience, of course. But +breach of promise cases and that sort of thing. I have a photograph of +him with something written over it." + +"Something compromising?" I inquired. + +"Yes, you would probably call it so," she answered, reddening. "But +there is no need of my repeating it. And then I have a lot of other +things. If I write to break off the engagement I shall lose dignity, and +it will appear as though I had regrets. I don't wish him to think that, +of all things. What shall I do?" + +"Do nothing," I said. + +"What do you mean?" + +"Just that. Do not break the engagement, and keep the photograph and +other articles for evidence. If he makes any overtures, don't consider +them for an instant. And I think, Miss Trevor, you will succeed sooner +or later in making him very uncomfortable. Were he any one else I +shouldn't advise such a course, but you won't lose any dignity and self- +respect by it, as no one will be likely to hear of it. He can't be taken +seriously, and plainly he has never taken any one else so. He hasn't +even gone to the trouble to notify you that he does not intend marrying +you." + +I saw from her expression that my suggestion was favorably entertained. + +"What a joke it would be!" she cried delightedly. + +"And a decided act of charity," I added, "to the next young woman on his +list." + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +The humor of my proposition appealed more strongly to Miss Trevor than I +had looked for, and from that time forward she became her old self again; +for, even after she had conquered her love for the Celebrity, the +mortification of having been jilted by him remained. Now she had come +to look upon the matter in its true proportions, and her anticipation of +a possible chance of teaching him a lesson was a pleasure to behold. Our +table in the dining-room became again the abode of scintillating wit and +caustic repartee, Farrar bracing up to his old standard, and the demand +for seats in the vicinity rose to an animated competition. Mr. Charles +Wrexell Allen's chair was finally awarded to a nephew of Judge Short, who +could turn a story to perfection. + +So life at the inn settled down again to what it had been before the +Celebrity came to disturb it. + +I had my own reasons for staying away from Mohair. More than once as I +drove over to the county-seat in my buggy I had met the Celebrity on a +tall tandem cart, with one of Mr. Cooke's high-steppers in the lead, and +Miss Thorn in the low seat. I had forgotten to mention that my friend +was something of a whip. At such times I would bow very civilly and pass +on; not without a twinge, I confess. And as the result of one of these +meetings I had to retrace several miles of my road for a brief I had +forgotten. After that I took another road, several miles longer, for the +sight of Miss Thorn with him seriously disturbed my peace of mind. +But at length the day came, as I had feared, when circumstances forced me +to go to my client's place. One morning Miss Trevor and I were about +stepping into the canoe for our customary excursion when one of Mr. +Cooke's footmen arrived with a note for each of us. They were from Mrs. +Cooke, and requested the pleasure of our company that day for luncheon. +"If you were I, would you go?" Miss Trevor asked doubtfully. + +"Of course," I replied. + +"But the consequences may be unpleasant." + +"Don't let them," I said. "Of what use is tact to a woman if not for +just such occasions?" + +My invitation had this characteristic note tacked on the end of it + +"DEAR CROCKER: Where are you? Where is the judge? F. F. C." + +I corralled the judge, and we started off across the fields, in no very +mild state of fear of that gentleman's wife, whose vigilance was seldom +relaxed. And thus we came by a circuitous route to Mohair, the judge +occupied by his own guilty thoughts, and I by others not less disturbing. +My client welcomed the judge with that warmth of manner which grappled so +many of his friends to his heart, and they disappeared together into the +Ethiopian card-room, which was filled with the assegais and exclamation +point shields Mr. Cooke had had made at the Sawmill at Beaverton. + +I learned from one of the lords-in-waiting loafing about the hall that +Mrs. Cooke was out on the golf links, chaperoning some of the Asquith +young women whose mothers had not seen fit to ostracize Mohair. Mr. +Cooke's ten friends were with them. But this discreet and dignified +servant could not reveal the whereabouts of Miss Thorn and of Mr. Allen, +both of whom I was decidedly anxious to avoid. I was much disgusted, +therefore, to come upon the Celebrity in the smoking-room, writing +rapidly, with, sheets of manuscript piled beside him. And he was quite +good-natured over my intrusion. + +"No," said he, "don't go. It's only a short story I promised for a +Christmas number. They offered me fifteen cents a word and promised to +put my name on the cover in red, so I couldn't very well refuse. It's no +inspiration, though, I tell you that." He rose and pressed a bell behind +him and ordered whiskeys and ginger ales, as if he were in a hotel." Sit +down, Crocker," he said, waving me to a morocco chair. "Why don't you +come over to see us oftener?" + +"I've been quite busy," I said. + +This remark seemed to please him immensely. + +"What a sly old chap you are," said he; "really, I shall have to go back +to the inn and watch you." + +"What the deuce do you mean?" I demanded. + +He looked me over in well-bred astonishment and replied: + +"Hang me, Crocker, if I can make you out. You seem to know the world +pretty well, and yet when a fellow twits you on a little flirtation you +act as though you were going to black his eyes." + +"A little flirtation!" I repeated, aghast. + +"Oh, well," he said, smiling, "we won't quarrel over a definition. Call +it anything you like." + +"Don't you think this a little uncalled for?" I asked, beginning to lose +my temper. + +"Bless you, no. Not among friends: not among such friends as we are." + +"I didn't know we were such devilish good friends," I retorted warmly. + +"Oh, yes, we are, devilish good friends," he answered with assurance; +"known each other from boyhood, and all that. And I say, old chap," he +added, "you needn't be jealous of me, you know. I got out of that long +ago. And I'm after something else now." + +For a space I was speechless. Then the ludicrous side of the matter +struck me, and I laughed in spite of myself. Better, after all, to +deal with a fool according to his folly. The Celebrity glanced at the +door and drew his chair closer to mine. + +"Crocker," he said confidentially, "I'm glad you came here to-day. There +is a thing or two I wished to consult you about." + +"Professional?" I asked, trying to head him off. + +"No," he replied, "amateur,--beastly amateur. A bungle, if I ever made +one. The truth is, I executed rather a faux pas over there at Asquith. +Tell me," said he, diving desperately at the root of it, "how does Miss +Trevor feel about my getting out? I meant to let her down easier; 'pon +my word, I did." + +This is a way rascals have of judging other men by themselves. + +"Well;" said I, "it was rather a blow, of course." + +"Of course," he assented. + +"And all the more unexpected," I went on, "from a man who has written +reams on constancy." + +I flatter myself that this nearly struck home, for he was plainly +annoyed. + +"Oh, bother that!" said he. "How many gowns believe in their own +sermons? How many lawyers believe in their own arguments?" + +"Unhappily, not as many as might." + +"I don't object to telling you, old chap," he continued, "that I went in +a little deeper than I intended. A good deal deeper, in fact. Miss +Trevor is a deuced fine girl, and all that; but absolutely impossible. +I forgot myself, and I confess I was pretty close to caught." + +"I congratulate you," I said gravely. + +"That's the point of it. I don't know that I'm out of the woods yet. +I wanted to see you and find out how she was acting." + +My first impulse was to keep him in hot water. Fortunately I thought +twice. + +"I don't know anything about Miss Trevor's feelings--" I began. + +"Naturally not--" he interrupted, with a smile. + +"But I have a notion that, if she ever fancied you, she doesn't care a +straw for you to-day." + +"Doesn't she now," he replied somewhat regretfully. Here was one of the +knots in his character I never could untie. + +"Understand, that is simply my guess," I said. "You must have discovered +that it is never possible to be sure of a woman's feelings." + +"Found that out long ago," he replied with conviction, and added: +"Then you think I need not anticipate any trouble from her?" + +"I have told you what I think," I answered; "you know better than I what +the situation is." + +He still lingered. + +"Does she appear to be in,--ah,--in good spirits?" + +I had work to keep my face straight. + +"Capital," I said; "I never saw her happier." + +This seemed to satisfy him. + +"Downcast at first, happy now," he remarked thoughtfully. "Yes, she got +over it. I'm much obliged to you, Crocker." + +I left him to finish his short story and walked out across the circle of +smooth lawn towards the golf links. And there I met Mrs. Cooke and her +niece coming in together. The warm red of her costume became Miss Thorn +wonderfully, and set off the glossy black of her hair. And her skin was +glowing from the exercise. An involuntary feeling of admiration for this +tall, athletic young woman swept over me, and I halted in my steps for no +other reason, I believe, than that I might look upon her the longer. + +What man, I thought resentfully, would not travel a thousand miles to be +near her? + +"It is Mr. Crocker," said Mrs. Cooke; "I had given up all hope of ever +seeing you again. Why have you been such a stranger?" + +"As if you didn't know, Aunt Maria," Miss Thorn put in gayly. + +"Oh yes, I know," returned her aunt, "and I have not been foolish enough +to invite the bar without the magnet. And yet, Mr. Crocker," she went on +playfully, "I had imagined that you were the one man in a hundred who did +not need an inducement." + +Miss Thorn began digging up the turf with her lofter: it was a painful +moment for me. + +"You might at least have tried me, Mrs. Cooke," I said. + +Miss Thorn looked up quickly from the ground, her eyes searchingly upon +my face. And Mrs. Cooke seemed surprised. + +"We are glad you came, at any rate," she answered. + +And at luncheon my seat was next to Miss Thorn's, while the Celebrity was +placed at the right of Miss Trevor. I observed that his face went blank +from time to time at some quip of hers: even a dull woman may be sharp +under such circumstances, and Miss Trevor had wits to spare. And I +marked that she never allowed her talk with him to drift into deep water; +when there was danger of this she would draw the entire table into their +conversation by some adroit remark, or create a laugh at his expense. +As for me, I held a discreet if uncomfortable silence, save for the few +words which passed between Miss Thorn and me. Once or twice I caught her +covert glance on me. But I felt, and strongly, that there could be no +friendship between us now, and I did not care to dissimulate merely for +the sake of appearances. Besides, I was not a little put out over the +senseless piece of gossip which had gone abroad concerning me. + +It had been arranged as part of the day's programme that Mr. Cooke was to +drive those who wished to go over the Rise in his new brake. But the +table was not graced by our host's presence, Mrs. Cooke apologizing for +him, explaining that he had disappeared quite mysteriously. It turned +out that he and the judge had been served with luncheon in the Ethiopian +card-room, and neither threats nor fair words could draw him away. The +judge had not held such cards for years, and it was in vain that I talked +to him of consequences. The Ten decided to remain and watch a game which +was pronounced little short of phenomenal, and my client gave orders for +the smaller brake and requested the Celebrity to drive. And this he was +nothing loth to do. For the edification as well as the assurance of the +party Mr. Allen explained, while we were waiting under the porte cochere, +how he had driven the Windsor coach down Piccadilly at the height of the +season, with a certain member of Parliament and noted whip on the box +seat. + +And, to do him justice, he could drive. He won the instant respect of +Mr. Cooke's coachman by his manner of taking up the lines, and clinched +it when he dropped a careless remark concerning the off wheeler. And +after the critical inspection of the horses which is proper he climbed up +on the box. There was much hesitation among the ladies as to who should +take the seat of honor: Mrs. Cooke declining, it was pressed upon Miss +Thorn. But she, somewhat to my surprise, declined also, and it was +finally filled by a young woman from Asquith. + +As we drove off I found myself alone with Mrs. Cooke's niece on the seat +behind. + +The day was cool and snappy for August, and the Rise all green with a +lavish nature. Now we, plunged into a deep shade with the boughs lacing +each other overhead, and crossed dainty, rustic bridges over the cold +trout-streams, the boards giving back the clatter of our horses' feet: or +anon we shot into a clearing, with a colored glimpse of the lake and its +curving shore far below us. I had always loved that piece of country +since the first look I had of it from the Asquith road, and the sight of +it rarely failed to set my blood a-tingle with pleasure. But to-day I +scarcely saw it. I wondered what whim had impelled Miss Thorn to get +into this seat. She paid but little attention to me during the first +part of the drive, though a mere look in my direction seemed to afford +her amusement. And at last, half way up the Rise, where the road takes +to an embankment, I got a decided jar. + +"Mr. Allen," she cried to the Celebrity, "you must stop here. Do you +remember how long we tarried over this bit on Friday?" + +He tightened the lines and threw a meaning glance backward. + +I was tempted to say: + +"You and Mr. Allen should know these roads rather well, Miss Thorn." + +"Every inch of them," she replied. + +We must have gone a mile farther when she turned upon me. + +"It is your duty to be entertaining, Mr. Crocker. What in the world are +you thinking of, with your brow all puckered up, forbidding as an owl?" + +"I was thinking how some people change," I answered, with a readiness +which surprised me. + +"Strange," she said, "I had the same thing in mind. I hear decidedly +queer tales of you; canoeing every day that business does not prevent, +and whole evenings spent at the dark end of a veranda." + +"What rubbish!" I exclaimed, not knowing whether to be angered or amused. + +"Come, sir," she said, with mock sternness, "answer the charge. Guilty +or not guilty?" + +"First let me make a counter-charge," said I; "you have given me the +right. Not long ago a certain young lady came to Mohair and found there +a young author of note with whom she had had some previous acquaintance. +She did not hesitate to intimate her views on the character of this +Celebrity, and her views were not favorable." + +I paused. There was some satisfaction in seeing Miss Thorn biting her +lip. + +"Well?" + +"Not at all favorable, mind you," I went on. "And the young lady's +general appearance was such as to lead one to suppose her the sincerest +of persons. Now I am at a loss to account for a discrepancy between her +words and her actions." + +While I talked Miss Thorn's face had been gradually turning from mine +until now I saw only the dainty knot at the back of her head. Her +shoulders were quivering with laughter. But presently her face came back +all gravity, save a suspicious gleam of mirth in the eyes. + +"It does seem inconsistent, Mr. Crocker; I grant you that. No doubt it +is so. But let me ask you something: did you ever yet know a woman who +was not inconsistent?" + +I did not realize I had been side-tracked until I came to think over this +conversation afterwards. + +"I am not sure," I replied. "Perhaps I merely hoped that one such +existed." + +She dropped her eyes. + +"Then don't be surprised at my failing," said she. "No doubt I +criticised the Celebrity severely. I cannot recall what I said. +But it is upon the better side of a character that we must learn to look. +Did it ever strike you that the Celebrity had some exceedingly fine +qualities?" + +"No, it did not," I answered positively. + +"Nevertheless, he has," she went on, in all apparent seriousness. +"He drives almost as well as Uncle Farquhar, dances well, and is a +capital paddle." + +"You were speaking of qualities, not accomplishments," I said. +A horrible suspicion that she was having a little fun at my expense +crossed my mind. + +Very good, then. You must admit that he is generous to a fault, amiable; +and persevering, else he would never have attained the position he +enjoys. And his affection for you, Mr. Crocker, is really touching, +considering how little he gets in return." + +"Come, Miss Thorn," I said severely, "this is ridiculous. I don't like +him, and never shall. I liked him once, before he took to writing +drivel. But he must have been made over since then. And what is more, +with all respect to your opinion, I don't believe he likes me." + +Miss Thorn straightened up with dignity and said: + +"You do him an injustice. But perhaps you will learn to appreciate him +before he leaves Mohair." + +"That is not likely," I replied--not at all pleasantly, I fear. And +again I thought I observed in her the same desire to laugh she had before +exhibited. + +And all the way back her talk was of nothing except the Celebrity. +I tried every method short of absolute rudeness to change the subject, +and went from silence to taciturnity and back again to silence. She +discussed his books and his mannerisms, even the growth of his +popularity. She repeated anecdotes of him from Naples to St. +Petersburg, from Tokio to Cape Town. And when we finally stopped under +the porte cochere I had scarcely the civility left to say good-bye. + +I held out my hand to help her to the ground, but she paused on the +second step. + +"Mr. Crocker," she observed archly, "I believe you once told me you had +not known many girls in your life." + +"True," I said; "why do you ask?" + +"I wished to be sure of it," she replied. + +And jumping down without my assistance, she laughed and disappeared into +the house. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +A lie has short legs +Deal with a fool according to his folly +Old enough to know better, and too old to be taught + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CELEBRITY, V2, BY CHURCHILL *** + +********** This file should be named wc47w10.txt or wc47w10.zip ********** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, wc47w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, wc47w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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