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diff --git a/old/wc46w10.txt b/old/wc46w10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0975179 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc46w10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1586 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Ebook The Celebrity, v1, by Winston Churchill +WC#46 in our series by Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Celebrity, Volume 1. + +Author: Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston Churchill) + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5383] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 28, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CELEBRITY, V1, BY CHURCHILL *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CELEBRITY + +By Winston Churchill + + + +VOLUME 1. + +CHAPTER I + +I was about to say that I had known the Celebrity from the time he wore +kilts. But I see I shall have to amend that, because he was not a +celebrity then, nor, indeed, did he achieve fame until some time after I +had left New York for the West. In the old days, to my commonplace and +unobserving mind, he gave no evidences of genius whatsoever. He never +read me any of his manuscripts, which I can safely say he would have done +had he written any at that time, and therefore my lack of detection of +his promise may in some degree be pardoned. But he had then none of the +oddities and mannerisms which I hold to be inseparable from genius, and +which struck my attention in after days when I came in contact with the +Celebrity. Hence I am constrained to the belief that his eccentricity +must have arrived with his genius, and both after the age of twenty-five. +Far be it from me to question the talents of one upon whose head has been +set the laurel of fame! + +When I knew him he was a young man without frills or foibles, with an +excellent head for business. He was starting in to practise law in a +downtown office with the intention of becoming a great corporation +lawyer. He used to drop into my chambers once in a while to smoke, and +was first-rate company. When I gave a dinner there was generally a cover +laid for him. I liked the man for his own sake, and even had he promised +to turn out a celebrity it would have had no weight with me. I look upon +notoriety with the same indifference as on the buttons on a man's shirt- +front, or the crest on his note-paper. + +When I went West, he fell out of my life. I probably should not have +given him another thought had I not caught sight of his name, in old +capitals, on a daintily covered volume in a book-stand. I had little +time or inclination for reading fiction; my days were busy ones, and +my nights were spent with law books. But I bought the volume out of +curiosity, wondering the while whether he could have written it. I was +soon set at rest, for the dedication was to a young woman of whom I had +often heard him speak. The volume was a collection of short stories. On +these I did not feel myself competent to sit in judgment, for my personal +taste in fiction, if I could be said to have had any, took another turn. +The stories dealt mainly with the affairs of aristocratic young men and +aristocratic young women, and were differentiated to fit situations only +met with in that society which does not have to send descriptions of its +functions to the newspapers. The stories did not seem to me to touch +life. They were plainly intended to have a bracing moral effect, and +perhaps had this result for the people at whom they were aimed. They +left with me the impression of a well-delivered stereopticon lecture, +with characters about as life-like as the shadows on the screen, and +whisking on and off, at the mercy of the operator. Their charm to me lay +in the manner of the telling, the style, which I am forced to admit was +delightful. + +But the book I had bought was a success, a great success, if the +newspapers and the reports of the sales were to be trusted. I read the +criticisms out of curiosity more than any other prompting, and no two of +them were alike: they veered from extreme negative to extreme positive. +I have to confess that it gratified me not a little to find the negatives +for the most part of my poor way of thinking. The positives, on the +other hand, declared the gifted young author to have found a manner of +treatment of social life entirely new. Other critics still insisted it +was social ridicule: but if this were so, the satire was too delicate for +ordinary detection. + +However, with the dainty volume my quondam friend sprang into fame. At +the same time he cast off the chrysalis of a commonplace existence. He +at once became the hero of the young women of the country from Portland, +Maine, to Portland, Oregon, many of whom wrote him letters and asked him +for his photograph. He was asked to tell what he really meant by the +vague endings of this or that story. And then I began to hear rumors +that his head was turning. These I discredited, of course. If true, +I thought it but another proof of the undermining influence of feminine +flattery, which few men, and fewer young men, can stand. But I watched +his career with interest. + +He published other books, of a high moral tone and unapproachable +principle, which I read carefully for some ray of human weakness, for +some stroke of nature untrammelled by the calling code of polite society. +But in vain. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +It was by a mere accident that I went West, some years ago, and settled +in an active and thriving town near one of the Great Lakes. The air and +bustle and smack of life about the place attracted me, and I rented an +office and continued to read law, from force of habit, I suppose. My +experience in the service of one of the most prominent of New York +lawyers stood me in good stead, and gradually, in addition to a +heterogeneous business of mines and lumber, I began to pick up a few +clients. But in all probability I should be still pegging away at mines +and lumber, and drawing up occasional leases and contracts, had it not +been for Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke, of Philadelphia. Although it has +been specifically written that promotion to a young man comes neither +from the East nor the West, nor yet from the South, Mr. Cooke arrived +from the East, and in the nick of time for me. + +I was indebted to Farrar for Mr. Cooke's acquaintance, and this +obligation I have since in vain endeavored to repay. Farrar's profession +was forestry: a graduate of an eastern college, he had gone abroad to +study, and had roughed it with the skilled woodsmen of the Black Forest. +Mr. Cooke, whom he represented, had large tracts of land in these parts, +and Farrar likewise received an income from the state, whose legislature +had at last opened its eyes to the timber depredations and had begun to +buy up reserves. We had rooms in the same Elizabethan building at the +corner of Main and Superior streets, but it was more than a year before I +got farther than a nod with him. Farrar's nod in itself was a repulsion, +and once you had seen it you mentally scored him from the list of your +possible friends. Besides this freezing exterior he possessed a cutting +and cynical tongue, and had but little confidence in the human race. +These qualities did not tend to render him popular in a Western town, +if indeed they would have recommended him anywhere, and I confess to have +thought him a surly enough fellow, being guided by general opinion and +superficial observation. Afterwards the town got to know him, and if it +did not precisely like him, it respected him, which perhaps is better. +And he gained at least a few warm-friends, among whom I deem it an honor +to be mentioned. + +Farrar's contempt for consequences finally brought him an unsought-for +reputation. Admiration for him was born the day he pushed O'Meara out +of his office and down a flight of stairs because he had undertaken to +suggest that which should be done with the timber in Jackson County. By +this summary proceeding Farrar lost the support of a faction, O'Meara +being a power in the state and chairman of the forestry board besides. +But he got rid of interference from that day forth. + +Oddly enough my friendship with Farrar was an indirect result of the +incident I have just related. A few mornings after, I was seated in my +office trying to concentrate my mind on page twenty of volume ten of the +Records when I was surprised by O'Meara himself, accompanied by two +gentlemen whom I remembered to have seen on various witness stands. +O'Meara was handsomely dressed, and his necktie made but a faint pretence +of concealing the gorgeous diamond in his shirt-front. But his face wore +an aggrieved air, and his left hand was neatly bound in black and tucked +into his coat. He sank comfortably into my wicker chair, which creaked a +protest, and produced two yellow-spotted cigars, chewing the end of one +with much apparent relish and pushing the other at me. His two friends +remained respectfully standing. I guessed at what was coming, and braced +myself by refusing the cigar,--not a great piece of self-denial, by the +way. But a case meant much to me then, and I did seriously regret that +O'Meara was not a possible client. At any rate, my sympathy with Farrar +in the late episode put him out of the question. + +O'Meara cleared his throat and began gingerly to undo the handkerchief +on his hand. Then he brought his fist down on the table so that the ink +started from the stand and his cheeks shook with the effort. + +"I'll make him pay for this!" he shouted, with an oath, + +The other gentlemen nodded their approval, while I put the inkstand in a +place of safety. + +"You're a pretty bright young man, Mr. Crocker," he went on, a look of +cunning coming into his little eyes, "but I guess you ain't had too many +cases to object to a big one." + +"Did you come here to tell me that?" I asked. + +He looked me over queerly, and evidently decided that I meant no +effrontery. + +"I came here to get your opinion," he said, holding up a swollen hand, +"but I want to tell you first that I ought to get ten thousand, not a +cent less. That scoundrelly young upstart--" + +"If you want my opinion," I replied, trying to speak slowly, "it is that +Mr. Farrar ought to get ten thousand dollars. And I think that would be +only a moderate reward." + +I did not feel equal to pushing him into the street, as Farrar had done, +and I have now but a vague notion of what he said and how he got there. +But I remember that half an hour afterwards a man congratulated me openly +in the bank. + +That night I found a new friend, although at the time I thought Farrar's +visit to me the accomplishment of a perfunctory courtesy to a man who had +refused to take a case against him. It was very characteristic of Farrar +not to mention this until he rose to go. About half-past eight he +sauntered in upon me, placing his hat precisely on the rack, and we +talked until ten, which is to say that I talked and he commented. His +observations were apt, if a trifle caustic, and it is needless to add +that I found them entertaining. As he was leaving he held out his hand. + +"I hear that O'Meara called on you to-day," he said diffidently. + +"Yes," I answered, smiling, "I was sorry not to have been able to take +his case." + +I sat up for an hour or more, trying to arrive at some conclusion about +Farrar, but at length I gave it up. His visit had in it something +impulsive which I could not reconcile with his manner. He surely owed +me nothing for refusing a case against him, and must have known that my +motives for so doing were not personal. But if I did not understand him, +I liked him decidedly from that night forward, and I hoped that his +advances had sprung from some other motive than politeness. And indeed +we gradually drifted into a quasi-friendship. It became his habit, as he +went out in the morning, to drop into my room for a match, and I returned +the compliment by borrowing his coal oil when mine was out. At such +times we would sit, or more frequently stand, discussing the affairs of +the town and of the nation, for politics was an easy and attractive +subject to us both. It was only in a general way that we touched upon +each other's concerns, this being dangerous ground with Farrar, who was +ever ready to close up at anything resembling a confidence. As for me, I +hope I am not curious, but I own to having had a curiosity about Farrar's +Philadelphia patron, to whom Farrar made but slight allusions. His very +name--Farquhar Fenelon Cooke--had an odd sound which somehow betokened an +odd man, and there was more than one bit of gossip afloat in the town of +which he was the subject, notwithstanding the fact that he had never +honored it with a visit. The gossip was the natural result of Mr. +Cooke's large properties in the vicinity. It has never been my habit, +however, to press a friend on such matters, and I could easily understand +and respect Farrar's reluctance to talk of one from whom he received an +income. + +I had occasion, in the May of that year, to make a somewhat long business +trip to Chicago, and on my return, much to my surprise, I found Farrar +awaiting me in the railroad station. He smiled his wonted fraction by +way of greeting, stopped to buy a newspaper, and finally leading me to +his buggy, turned and drove out of town. I was completely mystified at +such an unusual proceeding. + +"What's this for?" I asked. + +"I shan't bother you long," he said; "I simply wanted the chance to talk +to you before you got to your office. I have a Philadelphia client, a +Mr. Cooke, of whom you may have heard me speak. Since you have been away +the railroad has brought suit against him. The row is about the lands +west of the Washita, on Copper Rise. It's the devil if he loses, for the +ground is worth the dollar bills to cover it. I telegraphed, and he got +here yesterday. He wants a lawyer, and I mentioned you." + +There came over me then in a flash a comprehension of Farrar which I had +failed to grasp before. But I was quite overcome at his suggestion. + +"Isn't it rather a big deal to risk me on?" I said. "Better go to +Chicago and get Parks. He's an expert in that sort of thing." I am +afraid my expostulation was weak. + +"I merely spoke of you," replied Farrar, coolly,--and he has gone around +to your office. He knows about Parks, and if he wants him he'll probably +take him. It all depends upon how you strike Cooke whether you get the +case or not. I have never told you about him," he added with some +hesitation; "he's a trifle queer, but a good fellow at the bottom. +I should hate to see him lose his land." + +"How is the railroad mixed up in it?" I asked. + +"I don't know much about law, but it would seem as if they had a pretty +strong case," he answered. He went on to tell me what he knew of the +matter in his clean, pithy sentences, often brutally cynical, as though +he had not a spark of interest in any of it. Mr. Cooke's claim to the +land came from a maternal great-uncle, long since deceased, who had been +a settler in these regions. The railroad answered that they had bought +the land with other properties from the man, also deceased, to whom the +old gentleman was alleged to have sold it. Incidentally I learned +something of Mr. Cooke's maternal ancestry. + +We drove back to the office with some concern on my part at the prospect +of so large a case. Sunning himself on the board steps, I saw for the +first time Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke. He was dressed out in broad +gaiters and bright tweeds, like an English tourist, and his face might +have belonged to Dagon, idol of the Philistines. A silver snaffle on a +heavy leather watch guard which connected the pockets of his corduroy +waistcoat, together with a huge gold stirrup in his Ascot tie, +sufficiently proclaimed his tastes. But I found myself continually +returning to the countenance, and I still think I could have modelled a +better face out of putty. The mouth was rather small, thick-tipped, and +put in at an odd angle; the brown eyes were large, and from their habit +of looking up at one lent to the round face an incongruous solemnity. +But withal there was a perceptible acumen about the man which was +puzzling in the extreme. + +"How are you, old man?" said he, hardly waiting for Farrar to introduce +me. "Well, I hope." It was pure cordiality, nothing more. He seemed to +bubble over with it. + +I said I was well, and invited him inside. + +"No," he said; "I like the look of the town. We can talk business here." + +And talk business he did, straight and to the point, so fast and +indistinctly that at times I could scarcely follow him. I answered his +rapid questions briefly, and as best I knew how. He wanted to know what +chance he had to win the suit, and I told him there might be other +factors involved beside those of which he had spoken. Plainly, also, +that the character of his great-uncle was in question, an intimation +which he did not appear to resent. But that there was no denying the +fact that the railroad had a strong thing of it, and a good lawyer into +the bargain. + +"And don't you consider yourself a good lawyer?" he cut in. + +I pointed out that the railroad lawyer was a man of twice my age, +experience, and reputation. + +Without more ado, and before either Farrar or myself had time to resist, +he had hooked an arm into each of us, and we were all three marching down +the street in the direction of his hotel. If this was agony for me, I +could see that it was keener agony for Farrar. And although Mr. Farquhar +Fenelon Cooke had been in town but a scant twenty-four hours, it seemed +as if he knew more of its inhabitants than both of us put together. +Certain it is that he was less particular with his acquaintances. He +hailed the most astonishing people with an easy air of freedom, now +releasing my arm, now Farrar's, to salute. He always saluted. He +stopped to converse with a dozen men we had never seen, many of whom +smelled strongly of the stable, and he invariably introduced Farrar as +the forester of his estate, and me as his lawyer in the great quarrel +with the railroad, until I began to wish I had never heard of Blackstone. +And finally he steered us into the spacious bar of the Lake House. + +The next morning the three of us were off early for a look at the +contested property. It was a twenty-mile drive, and the last eight miles +wound down the boiling Washita, still high with the melting snows of the +pine lands. And even here the snows yet slept in the deeper hollows. +unconscious of the budding green of the slopes. How heartily I wished +Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke back in Philadelphia! By his eternal accounts +of his Germantown stables and of the blue ribbons of his hackneys he +killed all sense of pleasure of the scene, and set up an irritation that +was well-nigh unbearable. At length we crossed the river, climbed the +foot-hills, and paused on the ridge. Below us lay the quaint inn and +scattered cottages of Asquith, and beyond them the limitless and foam- +flecked expanse of lake: and on our right, lifting from the shore by easy +slopes for a mile at stretch, Farrar pointed out the timbered lands of +Copper Rise, spread before us like a map. But the appreciation of beauty +formed no part of Mr. Cooke's composition,--that is, beauty as Farrar and +I knew it. + +"If you win that case, old man," he cried, striking me a great whack +between the shoulderblades," charge any fee you like; I'll pay it! And +I'll make such a country-place out of this as was never seen west of New +York state, and call it Mohair, after my old trotter. I'll put a palace +on that clearing, with the stables just over the knoll. They'll beat the +Germantown stables a whole lap. And that strip of level," he continued, +pointing to a thinly timbered bit, "will hold a mile track nicely." + +Farrar and I gasped: it was as if we had tumbled into the Washita. + +"It will take money, Mr. Cooke," said Farrar, "and you haven't won the +suit yet." + +"Damn the money!" said Mr. Cooke, and we knew he meant it. + +Over the episodes of that interminable morning it will, be better to pass +lightly. It was spent by Farrar and me in misery. It was spent by Mr. +Farquhar Fenelon Cooke in an ecstasy of enjoyment, driving over and +laying out Mohair, and I must admit he evinced a surprising genius in his +planning, although, according to Farrar, he broke every sacred precept of +landscape gardening again and again. He displayed the enthusiasm of a +pioneer, and the energy of a Napoleon. And if he were too ignorant to +accord to nature a word of praise, he had the grace and intelligence to +compliment Farrar on the superb condition of the forests, and on the +judgment shown in laying out the roads, which were so well chosen that +even in this season they were well drained and dry. That day, too, my +views were materially broadened, and I received an insight into the +methods and possibilities of my friend's profession sufficient to instil +a deeper respect both for it and for him. The crowded spots had been +skilfully thinned of the older trees to give the younger ones a chance, +and the harmony of the whole had been carefully worked out. Now we drove +under dark pines and hemlocks, and then into a lighter relief of birches +and wild cherries, or a copse of young beeches. And I learned that the +estate had not only been paying the taxes and its portion of Farrar's +salary, but also a considerable amount into Mr. Cooke's pocket the while +it was being improved. + +Mr. Cooke made his permanent quarters at the Lake House, and soon became +one of the best-known characters about town. He seemed to enjoy his +popularity, and I am convinced that he would have been popular in spite +of his now-famous quarrel with the railroad. His easy command of +profanity, his generous use of money, his predilection for sporting +characters, of whom he was king; his ready geniality and good-fellowship +alike with the clerk of the Lake House or the Mayor, not to mention his +own undeniable personality, all combined to make him a favorite. He had +his own especial table in the dining-room, called all the waiters by +their first names, and they fought for the privilege of attending him. +He likewise called the barkeepers by their first names, and had his own +particular corner of the bar, where none dared intrude, and where he +could almost invariably be found when not in my office. From this corner +he dealt out cigars to the deserving, held stake moneys, decided all +bets, and refereed all differences. His name appeared in the personal +column of one of the local papers on the average of twice a week, or in +lieu thereof one of his choicest stories in the "Notes about Town" +column. + +The case was to come up early in July, and I spent most of my time, to +the detriment of other affairs, in preparing for it. I was greatly +hampered in my work by my client, who filled my office with his tobacco- +smoke and that of his friends, and he took it very much for granted that +he was going to win the suit. Fortune had always played into his hands, +he said, and I had no little difficulty in convincing him that matters +had passed from his hands into mine. In this I believe I was never +entirely successful. I soon found, too, that he had no ideas whatever on +the value of discretion, and it was only by repeated threats of absolute +failure that I prevented our secret tactics from becoming the property of +his sporting fraternity and of the town. + +The more I worked on the case, the clearer it became to me that Mr. +Farquhar Fenelon Cooke's great-uncle had been either a consummate +scoundrel or a lunatic, and that our only hope of winning must be based +on proving him one or the other; it did not matter much which, for my +expectations at best were small. When I had at length settled to this +conclusion I confided it as delicately as possible to my client, who was +sitting at the time with his feet cocked up on the office table, reading +a pink newspaper. + +"Which'll be the easier to prove?" he asked, without looking up. + +"It would be more charitable to prove he had been out of his mind," I +replied, "and perhaps easier." + +"Charity be damned," said this remarkable man. "I'm after the property." + +So I decided on insanity. I hunted up and subpoenaed white-haired +witnesses for miles around. Many of them shook their heads when they +spoke of Mr. Cooke's great-uncle, and some knew more of his private +transactions than I could have wished, and I trembled lest my own +witnesses should be turned against me. I learned more of Mr. Cooke's +great-uncle than I knew of Mr. Cooke himself, and to the credit of my +client be it said that none of his relative's traits were apparent in +him, with the possible exception of insanity; and that defect, if it +existed in the grand-nephew, took in him a milder and less criminal turn. +The old rascal, indeed, had so cleverly worded his deed of sale as to +obtain payment without transfer. It was a trifle easier to avoid being +specific in that country in his day than it is now, and the document was, +in my opinion, sufficiently vague to admit of a double meaning. The +original sale had been made to a man, now dead, whom the railroad had +bought out. The Copper Rise property was mentioned among the other lands +in the will in favor of Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke, and the latter had +gone ahead improving them and increasing their output in spite of the +repeated threats of the railroad to bring suit. And it was not until its +present attorney had come in and investigated the title that the railroad +had resorted to the law. I mention here, by the way, that my client was +the sole heir. + +But as the time of the sessions drew near, the outlook for me was +anything but bright. It is true that my witnesses were quite willing to +depose that his actions were queer and out of the common, but these +witnesses were for the most part venerable farmers and backwoodsmen: +expert testimony was deplorably lacking. In this extremity it was Mr. +Farquhar Fenelon Cooke himself who came unwittingly to my rescue. He had +bought a horse,--he could never be in a place long without one,--which +was chiefly remarkable, he said, for picking up his hind feet as well as +his front ones. However he may have differed from the ordinary run of +horses, he was shortly attacked by one of the thousand ills to which +every horse is subject. I will not pretend to say what it was. I found +Mr. Cooke one morning at his usual place in the Lake House bar holding +forth with more than common vehemence and profanity on the subject of +veterinary surgeons. He declared there was not a veterinary surgeon in +the whole town fit to hold a certificate, and his listeners nodded an +extreme approval to this sentiment. A grizzled old fellow who kept a +stock farm back in the country chanced to be there, and managed to get a +word in on the subject during one of my client's rare pauses. + +"Yes," he said, "that's so. There ain't one of 'em now fit to travel +with young Doctor Vane, who was here some fifteen years gone by. He +weren't no horse-doctor, but he could fix up a foundered horse in a night +as good as new. If your uncle was livin', he'd back me on that, Mr. +Cooke." + +Here was my chance. I took the old man aside, and two or three glasses +of Old Crow launched him into reminiscence. + +"Where is Doctor Vane now?" I asked finally. + +"Over to Minneapolis, sir, with more rich patients nor he can take care +of. Wasn't my darter over there last month, and seen him? And demned if +he didn't pull up his carriage and talk to her. Here's luck to him." + +I might have heard much more of the stockraiser had I stayed, but I fear +I left him somewhat abruptly in my haste to find Farrar. Only three days +remained before the case was to come up. Farrar readily agreed to go to +Minneapolis, and was off on the first train that afternoon. I would have +asked Mr. Cooke to go had I dared trust him, such was my anxiety to have +him out of the way, if only for a time. I did not tell him about the +doctor. He sat up very late with me that night on the Lake House porch +to give me a rubbing down, as he expressed it, as he might have +admonished some favorite jockey before a sweepstake. "Take it easy, old +man," he would say repeatedly, "and don't give things the bit before +you're sure of their wind!" + +Days passed, and not a word from Farrar. The case opened with Mr. +Cooke's friends on the front benches. The excitement it caused has +rarely been equalled in that section, but I believe this was due less to +its sensational features than to Mr. Cooke, who had an abnormal though +unconscious talent for self-advertisement. It became manifest early that +we were losing. Our testimony, as I had feared, was not strong enough, +although they said we were making a good fight of it. I was racked with +anxiety about Farrar; at last, when I had all but given up hope, I +received a telegram from him dated at Detroit, saying he would arrive +with the doctor that evening. This was Friday, the fourth day of the +trial. + +The doctor turned out to be a large man, well groomed and well fed, with +a twinkle in his eye. He had gone to Narragansett Pier for the summer, +whither Farrar had followed him. On being introduced, Mr. Cooke at once +invited him out to have a drink. + +"Did you know my uncle?" asked my client. + +"Yes," said the doctor," I should say I did." + +"Poor old duffer," said Mr. Cooke, with due solemnity; "I understand he +was a maniac." + +"Well," said the doctor, while we listened with a breathless interest, +"he wasn't exactly a maniac, but I think I can safely say he was a +lunatic." + +"Then here's to insanity!" said the irrepressible, his glass swung in +mid-air, when a thought struck him, and he put it down again and looked +hard at the doctor. + +"Will you swear to it?" he demanded. + +"I would swear to it before Saint Peter," said the doctor, fervently. + +He swore to it before a jury, which was more to the point, and we won our +case. It did not even go to the court of appeals; I suppose the railroad +thought it cheaper to drop it, since no right of way was involved. And +the decision was scarcely announced before Mr. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke had +begun work on his new country place, Mohair. + +I have oftentimes been led to consider the relevancy of this chapter, and +have finally decided to insert it. I concluded that the actual narrative +of how Mr. Cooke came to establish his country-place near Asquith would +be interesting, and likewise throw some light on that gentleman's +character. And I ask the reader's forbearance for the necessary personal +history involved. Had it not been for Mr. Cooke's friendship for me I +should not have written these pages. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +Events, are consequential or inconsequential irrespective of their size. +The wars of Troy were fought for a woman, and Charles VIII, of France, +bumped his head against a stone doorway and died because he did not stoop +low enough. And to descend from history down to my own poor chronicle, +Mr. Cooke's railroad case, my first experience at the bar of any gravity +or magnitude, had tied to it a string of consequences then far beyond my +guessing. The suit was my stepping-stone not only to a larger and more +remunerative practice, but also, I believe, to the position of district +attorney, which I attained shortly afterwards. + +Mr. Cooke had laid out Mohair as ruthlessly as Napoleon planned the new +Paris; though not, I regret to say, with a like genius. Fortunately +Farrar interposed and saved the grounds, but there was no guardian angel +to do a like turn for the house. Mr. Langdon Willis, of Philadelphia, +was the architect who had nominal charge of the building. He had +regularly submitted some dozen plans for Mr. Cooke's approval, which were +as regularly rejected. My client believed, in common with a great many +other people, that architects should be driven and not followed, and was +plainly resolved to make this house the logical development of many +cherished ideas. It is not strange, therefore, that the edifice was +completed by a Chicago contractor who had less self-respect than Mr. +Willis, the latter having abruptly refused to have his name tacked on to +the work. + +Mohair was finished and ready for occupation in July, two years after the +suit. I drove out one day before Mr. Cooke's arrival to look it over. +The grounds, where Farrar had had matters pretty much his own way, to my +mind rivalled the best private parks in the East. The stables were +filled with a score or so of Mr. Cooke's best horses, brought hither in +his private cars, and the trotters were exercising on the track. +The middle of June found Farrar and myself at the Asquith Inn. It was +Farrar's custom to go to Asquith in the summer, being near the forest +properties in his charge; and since Asquith was but five miles from the +county-seat it was convenient for me, and gave me the advantages of the +lake breezes and a comparative rest, which I should not have had in +town. At that time Asquith was a small community of summer residents +from Cincinnati, Chicago, St. Louis, and other western cities, most of +whom owned cottages and the grounds around them. They were a quiet lot +that long association had made clannish; and they had a happy faculty, so +rare in summer resorts, of discrimination between an amusement and a +nuisance. Hence a great many diversions which are accounted pleasurable +elsewhere are at Asquith set down at their true value. It was, +therefore, rather with resentment than otherwise that the approaching +arrival of Mr. Cooke and the guests he was likely to have at Mohair were +looked upon. + +I had not been long at Asquith before I discovered that Farrar was acting +in a peculiar manner, though I was longer in finding out what the matter +was. I saw much less of him than in town. Once in a while in the +evenings, after ten, he would run across me on the porch of the inn, +or drift into my rooms. Even after three years of more or less intimacy +between us, Farrar still wore his exterior of pessimism and indifference, +the shell with which he chose to hide a naturally warm and affectionate +disposition. In the dining-room we sat together at the end of a large +table set aside for bachelors and small families of two or three, and +it seemed as though we had all the humorists and story-tellers in that +place. And Farrar as a source of amusement proved equal to the best +of them. He would wait until a story was well under way, and then +annihilate the point of it with a cutting cynicism and set the table in +a roar of laughter. Among others who were seated here was a Mr. Trevor, +of Cincinnati, one of the pioneers of Asquith. Mr. Trevor was a trifle +bombastic, with a tendency towards gesticulation, an art which he had +learned in no less a school than the Ohio State Senate. He was a self- +made man,--a fact which he took good care should not escape one,--and had +amassed his money, I believe, in the dry-goods business. He always wore +a long, shiny coat, a low, turned-down collar, and a black tie, all of +which united to give him the general appearance of a professional +pallbearer. + +But Mr. Trevor possessed a daughter who amply made up for his +shortcomings. She was the only one who could meet Farrar on his own +ground, and rarely a meal passed that they did not have a tilt. They +filled up the holes of the conversation with running commentaries, giving +a dig at the luckless narrator and a side-slap at each other, until one +would have given his oath they were sworn enemies. At least I, in the +innocence of my heart, thought so until I was forcibly enlightened. +I had taken rather a prejudice to Miss Trevor. I could find no better +reason than her antagonism to Farrar. I was revolving this very thing +in my mind one day as I was paddling back to the inn after a look at my +client's new pier and boat-houses, when I descried Farrar's catboat some +distance out. The lake was glass, and the sail hung lifeless. It was +near lunch-time, and charity prompted me to head for the boat and give it +a tow homeward. As I drew near, Farrar himself emerged from behind the +sail and asked me, with a great show of nonchalance, what I wanted. + +"To tow you back for lunch, of course," I answered, used to his ways. + +He threw me a line, which I made fast to the stern, and then he +disappeared again. I thought this somewhat strange, but as the boat was +a light one, I towed it in and hitched it to the wharf, when, to my great +astonishment, there disembarked not Farrar, but Miss Trevor. She leaped +lightly ashore and was gone before I could catch my breath, while Farrar +let down the sail and offered me a cigarette. I had learned a lesson in +appearances. + +It could not have been very long after this that I was looking over my +batch of New York papers, which arrived weekly, when my eye was arrested +by a name. I read the paragraph, which announced the fact that my friend +the Celebrity was about to sail for Europe in search of "color" for his +next novel; this was already contracted for at a large price, and was to +be of a more serious nature than any of his former work. An interview +was published in which the Celebrity had declared that a new novel was +to appear in a short time. I do not know what impelled me, but I began +at once to search through the other papers, and found almost identically +the same notice in all of them. + +By one of those odd coincidents which sometimes start one to thinking, +the Celebrity was the subject of a lively discussion when I reached the +table that evening. I had my quota of information concerning his +European trip, but I did not commit myself when appealed to for an +opinion. I had once known the man (which, however, I did not think it +worth while to mention) and I did not feel justified in criticising him +in public. Besides, what I knew of him was excellent, and entirely apart +from the literary merit or demerit of his work. The others, however, +were within their right when they censured or praised him, and they did +both. Farrar, in particular, surprised me by the violence of his +attacks, while Miss Trevor took up the Celebrity's defence with equal +ardor. Her motives were beyond me now. The Celebrity's works spoke +for themselves, she said, and she could not and would not believe such +injurious reports of one who wrote as he did. + +The next day I went over to the county-seat, and got back to Asquith +after dark. I dined alone, and afterwards I was strolling up and down +one end of the long veranda when I caught sight of a lonely figure in a +corner, with chair tilted back and feet on the rail. A gleam of a cigar +lighted up the face, and I saw that it was Farrar. I sat down beside +him, and we talked commonplaces for a while, Farrar's being almost +monosyllabic, while now and again feminine voices and feminine laughter +reached our ears from the far end of the porch. They seemed to go +through Farrar like a knife, and he smoked furiously, his lips tightly +compressed the while. I had a dozen conjectures, none of which I dared +voice. So I waited in patience. + +"Crocker," said he, at length, "there's a man here from Boston, Charles +Wrexell Allen; came this morning. You know Boston. Have you ever heard +of him?" + +"Allen," I repeated, reflecting; "no Charles Wrexell." + +"It is Charles Wrexell, I think," said Farrar, as though the matter were +trivial. "However, we can go into the register and make sure." + +"What about him?" I asked, not feeling inclined to stir. + +The Celebrity + +"Oh, nothing. An arrival is rather an occurrence, though. You can hear +him down there now," he added, tossing his head towards the other end of +the porch, "with the women around him." + +In fact, I did catch the deeper sound of a man's voice among the lighter +tones, and the voice had a ring to it which was not wholly unfamiliar, +although I could not place it. + +I threw Farrar a bait. + +"He must make friends easily," I said. + +"With the women?--yes," he replied, so scathingly that I was forced to +laugh in spite of myself. + +"Let us go in and look at the register," I suggested. "You may have his +name wrong." + +We went in accordingly. Sure enough, in bold, heavy characters, was the +name Charles Wrexell Allen written out in full. That handwriting was one +in a thousand. I made sure I had seen it before, and yet I did not know +it; and the more I puzzled over it the more confused I became. I turned +to Farrar. + +"I have had a poor cigar passed off on me and deceive me for a while. +That is precisely the case here. I think I should recognize your man if +I were to see him." + +"Well," said Farrar, "here's your chance." + +The company outside were moving in. Two or three of the older ladies +came first, carrying their wraps; then a troop of girls, among whom was +Miss Trevor; and lastly, a man. Farrar and I had walked to the door +while the women turned into the drawing-room, so that we were brought +face to face with him, suddenly. At sight of me he halted abruptly, +as though he had struck the edge of a door, changed color, and held out +his hand, tentatively. Then he withdrew it again, for I made no sign of +recognition. + +It was the Celebrity! + +I felt a shock of disgust as I passed out. Masquerading, it must be +admitted, is not pleasant to the taste; and the whole farce, as it +flashed through my mind,--his advertised trip, his turning up here under +an assumed name, had an ill savor. Perhaps some of the things they said +of him might be true, after all. + +"Who the devil is he?" said Farrar, dropping for once his indifference; +"he looked as if he knew you." + +I evaded. + +"He may have taken me for some one else," I answered with all the +coolness I could muster. "I have never met any one of his name. His +voice and handwriting, however, are very much like those of a man I used +to know." + +Farrar was very poor company that evening, and left me early. I went +to my rooms and had taken down a volume of Carlyle, who can generally +command my attention, when there came a knock at the door. + +"Come in," I replied, with an instinctive sense of prophecy. + +This was fulfilled at once by the appearance of the Celebrity. He was +attired--for the details of his dress forced themselves upon me vividly +--in a rough-spun suit of knickerbockers, a colored-shirt having a large +and prominent gold stud, red and brown stockings of a diamond pattern, +and heavy walking-boots. And he entered with an air of assurance that +was maddening. + +"My dear Crocker," he exclaimed, "you have no idea how delighted I am to +see you here!" + +I rose, first placing a book-mark in Carlyle, and assured him that I was +surprised to see him here. + +"Surprised to see me!" he returned, far from being damped by my manner. +"In fact, I am a little surprised to see myself here." + +He sank back on the window-seat and clasped his hands behind his head. + +"But first let me thank you for respecting my incognito," he said. + +I tried hard to keep my temper, marvelling at the ready way he had chosen +to turn my action. + +"And now," he continued, "I suppose you want to know why I came out +here." He easily supplied the lack of cordial solicitation on my part. + +"Yes, I should like to know," I said. + +Thus having aroused my curiosity, he took his time about appeasing it, +after the custom of his kind. He produced a gold cigarette case, offered +me a cigarette, which I refused, took one himself and blew the smoke in +rings toward the ceiling. Then, raising himself on his elbow, he drew +his features together in such a way as to lead me to believe he was about +to impart some valuable information. + +"Crocker," said he, "it's the very deuce to be famous, isn't it?" + +"I suppose it is," I replied curtly, wondering what he was driving at; +"I have never tried it." + +"An ordinary man, such as you, can't conceive of the torture a fellow in +my position is obliged to go through the year round, but especially in +the summer, when one wishes to go off on a rest. You know what I mean, +of course." + +"I am afraid I do not," I answered, in a vain endeavor to embarrass him. + +"You're thicker than when I used to know you, then," he returned with +candor. "To tell the truth, Crocker, I often wish I were back at the +law, and had never written a line. I am paying the penalty of fame. +Wherever I go I am hounded to death by the people who have read my books, +and they want to dine and wine me for the sake of showing me off at their +houses. I am heartily sick and tired of it all; you would be if you had +to go through it. I could stand a winter, but the worst comes in +the summer, when one meets the women who fire all sorts of socio- +psychological questions at one for solution, and who have suggestions +for stories." He shuddered. + +"And what has all this to do with your coming here?" I cut in, strangling +a smile. + +He twisted his cigarette at an acute angle with his face, and looked at +me out of the corner of his eye. + +"I'll try to be a little plainer," he went on, sighing as one unused to +deal with people who require crosses on their t's. "I've been worried +almost out of my mind with attention--nothing but attention the whole +time. I can't go on the street but what I'm stared at and pointed out, +so I thought of a scheme to relieve it for a time. It was becoming +unbearable. I determined to assume a name and go to some quiet little +place for the summer, West, if possible, where I was not likely to be +recognized, and have three months of rest." + +He paused, but I offered no comment. + +"Well, the more I thought of it, the better I liked the idea. I met a +western man at the club and asked him about western resorts, quiet ones. +'Have you heard of Asquith?' says he. 'No,' said I; 'describe it.' He +did, and it was just the place; quaint, restful, and retired. Of course +I put him off the track, but I did not count on striking you. My man +boxed up, and we were off in twenty-four hours, and here I am." + +Now all this was very fine, but not at all in keeping with the +Celebrity's character as I had come to conceive it. The idea that +adulation ever cloyed on him was ludicrous in itself. In fact I thought +the whole story fishy, and came very near to saying so. + +"You won't tell anyone who I am, will you?" he asked anxiously. + +He even misinterpreted my silences. + +"Certainly not," I replied. "It is no concern of mine. You might come +here as Emil Zola or Ralph Waldo Emerson and it would make no difference +to me." + +He looked at me dubiously, even suspiciously. + +"That's a good chap," said he, and was gone, leaving me to reflect on the +ways of genius. + +And the longer I reflected, the more positive I became that there existed +a more potent reason for the Celebrity's disguise than ennui. As actions +speak louder than words, so does a man's character often give the lie to +his tongue. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +A Lion in an ass's skin is still a lion in spite of his disguise. +Conversely, the same might be said of an ass in a lion's skin. The +Celebrity ran after women with the same readiness and helplessness that +a dog will chase chickens, or that a stream will run down hill. Women +differ from chickens, however, in the fact that they find pleasure in +being chased by a certain kind of a man. The Celebrity was this kind of +a man. From the moment his valet deposited his luggage in his rooms, +Charles Wrexell Allen became the social hero of Asquith. It is by straws +we are enabled to tell which way the wind is blowing, and I first noticed +his partiality for Miss Trevor from the absence of the lively conflicts +she was wont to have with Farrar. These ceased entirely after the +Celebrity's arrival. It was the latter who now commanded the +conversation at our table. + +I was truly sorry for Farrar, for I knew the man, the depth of his +nature, and the scope ofthe shock. He carried it off altogether too +well, and both the studied lightness of his actions and the increased +carelessness of his manner made me fear that what before was feigned, +might turn to a real bitterness. + +For Farrar's sake, if the Celebrity had been content with women in +general, all would have been well; but he was unable to generalize, in +one sense, and to particularize, in another. And it was plain that he +wished to monopolize Miss Trevor, while still retaining a hold upon the +others. For my sake, had he been content with women alone, I should have +had no cause to complain. But it seemed that I had an attraction for +him, second only to women, which I could not account for. And I began to +be cursed with a great deal of his company. Since he was absolutely +impervious to hints, and would not take no for an answer, I was helpless. +When he had no engagement he would thrust himself on me. He seemed to +know by intuition--for I am very sure I never told him--what my amusement +was to be the mornings I did not go to the county-seat, and he would +invariably turn up, properly equipped, as I was making my way with judge +Short to the tennis court, or carrying my oars to the water. It was in +vain that I resorted to subterfuge: that I went to bed early intending to +be away before the Celebrity's rising hour. I found he had no particular +rising hour. No matter how early I came down, I would find him on the +veranda, smoking cigarettes, or otherwise his man would be there with a +message to say that his master would shortly join me if I would kindly +wait. And at last I began to realize in my harassed soul that all +elusion was futile, and to take such holidays as I could get, when +he was off with a girl, in a spirit of thankfulness. + +Much of this persecution I might have put up with, indeed, had I not +heard, in one way or another, that he was doing me the honor of calling +me his intimate. This I could not stand, and I soberly resolved to leave +Asquith and go back to town, which I should indeed have done if +deliverance had not arrived from an unexpected quarter. + +One morning I had been driven to the precarious refuge afforded by the +steps of the inn, after rejecting offers from the Celebrity to join +him in a variety of amusements. But even here I was not free from +interruption, for he was seated on a horse-block below me, playing with +a fox terrier. Judge Short had gone to town, and Farrar was off for a +three days' cruise up the lake. I was bitterly regretting I had not gone +with him when the distant notes of a coach horn reached my ear, and +I descried a four-in-hand winding its way up the inn road from the +direction of Mohair. + +"That must be your friend Cooke," remarked the Celebrity, looking up. + +There could be no doubt of it. With little difficulty I recognized on +the box the familiar figure of my first important client, and beside him +was a lady whom I supposed to be Mrs. Farquhar Fenelon Cooke, although I +had had no previous knowledge that such a person existed. The horses +were on a brisk trot, and Mr. Cooke seemed to be getting the best out of +them for the benefit of the sprinkling of people on the inn porch. +Indeed, I could not but admire the dexterous turn of the wrist which +served Mr. Cooke to swing his leaders into the circle and up the hill, +while the liveried guard leaned far out in anticipation of a stumble. +Mr. Cooke hailed me with a beaming smile and a flourish of the whip as +he drew up and descended from the box. + +"Maria," he exclaimed, giving me a hearty grip, "this is the man that won +Mohair. My wife, Crocker." + +I was somewhat annoyed at this effusiveness before the Celebrity, but I +looked up and caught Mrs. Cooke's eye. It was the calm eye of a general. + +"I am glad of the opportunity to thank you, Mr. Crocker," she said +simply. And I liked her from that moment. + +Mr. Cooke at once began a tirade against the residents of Asquith for +permitting a sandy and generally disgraceful condition of the roads. So +roundly did he vituperate the inn management in particular, and with such +a loud flow of words, that I trembled lest he should be heard on the +veranda. The Celebrity stood by the block, in an amazement which gave +me a wicked pleasure, and it was some minutes before I had the chance +to introduce him. + +Mr. Cooke's idea of an introduction, however, was no mere word-formula: +it was fraught with a deeper and a bibulous meaning. He presented the +Celebrity to his wife, and then invited both of us to go inside with him +by one of those neat and cordial paraphrases in which he was skilled. +I preferred to remain with Mrs. Cooke, and it was with a gleam of hope +at a possible deliverance from my late persecution that I watched the two +disappear together through the hall and into the smoking-room. + +"How do you like Mohair?" I asked Mrs. Cooke. + +"Do you mean the house or the park?" she laughed; and then, seeing my +embarrassment, she went on: "Oh, the house is just like everything else +Fenelon meddles with. Outside it's a mixture of all the styles, and +inside a hash of all the nationalities from Siamese to Spanish. Fenelon +hangs the Oriental tinsels he has collected on pieces of black baronial +oak, and the coat-of-arms he had designed by our Philadelphia jewellers +is stamped on the dining-room chairs, and even worked into the fire +screens." + +There was nothing paltry in her criticism of her husband, nothing she +would not have said to his face. She was a woman who made you feel this, +for sincerity was written all over her. I could not help wondering why +she gave Mr. Cooke line in the matter of household decoration, unless +it was that he considered Mohair his own, private hobby, and that she +humored him. Mrs. Cooke was not without tact, and I have no doubt she +perceived my reluctance to talk about her husband and respected it. + +"We drove down to bring you back to luncheon," she said. + +I thanked her and accepted. She was curious to hear about Asquith and +its people, and I told her all I knew. + +"I should like to meet some of them," she explained, "for we intend +having a cotillon at Mohair,--a kind of house-warming, you know. A party +of Mr. Cooke's friends is coming out for it in his car, and he thought +something of inviting the people of Asquith up for a dance." + +I had my doubts concerning the wisdom of an entertainment, the success +of which depended on the fusion of a party of Mr. Cooke's friends and +a company from Asquith. But I held my peace. She shot a question at me +suddenly: + +"Who is this Mr. Allen?" + +"He registers from Boston, and only came a fortnight ago," I replied +vaguely. + +"He doesn't look quite right; as though he had been set down on the wrong +planet, you know," said Mrs. Cooke, her finger on her temple. "What is +he like?" + +"Well," I answered, at first with uncertainty, then with inspiration, "he +would do splendidly to lead your cotillon, if you think of having one." + +"So you do not dance, Mr. Crocker?" + +I was somewhat set back by her perspicuity. + +"No, I do not," said I. + +"I thought not," she said, laughing. It must have been my expression +which prompted her next remark. + +"I was not making fun of you," she said, more soberly; "I do not like Mr. +Allen any better than you do, and I have only seen him once." + +"But I have not said I did not like him," I objected. + +"Of course not," said Mrs. Cooke, quizzically. + +At that moment, to my relief, I discerned the Celebrity and Mr. Cooke in +the hallway. + +"Here they come, now," she went on. "I do wish Fenelon would keep his +hands off the people he meets. I can feel he is going to make an +intimate of that man. Mark my words, Mr. Crocker." + +I not only marked them, I prayed for their fulfilment. + +There was that in Mr. Cooke which, for want of a better name, I will call +instinct. As he came down the steps, his arm linked in that of the +Celebrity, his attitude towards his wife was both apologetic and defiant. +He had at once the air of a child caught with a forbidden toy, and that +of a stripling of twenty-one who flaunts a cigar in his father's face. + +"Maria," he said, "Mr. Allen has consented to come back with us for +lunch." + +We drove back to Mohair, Mr. Cooke and the Celebrity on the box, Mrs. +Cooke and I behind. Except to visit the boathouses I had not been to +Mohair since the day of its completion, and now the full beauty of the +approach struck me for the first time. We swung by the lodge, the keeper +holding open the iron gate as we passed, and into the wide driveway, +hewn, as it were, out of the virgin forest. The sandy soil had been +strengthened by a deep road-bed of clay imported from the interior, which +was spread in turn with a fine gravel, which crunched under the heavy +wheels. From the lodge to the house, a full mile, branches had been +pruned to let the sunshine sift through in splotches, but the wild nature +of the place had been skilfully retained. We curved hither and thither +under the giant trees until suddenly, as a whip straightens in the +snapping, one of the ancient tribes of the forest might have sent an +arrow down the leafy gallery into the open, and at the far end we caught +sight of the palace framed in the vista. It was a triumph for Farrar, +and I wished that the palace had been more worthy. + +The Celebrity did not stint his praises of Mohair, coming up the drive, +but so lavish were his comments on the house that they won for him a +lasting place in Mr. Cooke's affections, and encouraged my client to pull +up his horses in a favorable spot, and expand on the beauties of the +mansion. + +"Taking it altogether," said he, complacently, "it is rather a neat box, +and I let myself loose on it. I had all these ideas I gathered knocking +about the world, and I gave them to Willis, of Philadelphia, to put +together for me. But he's honest enough not to claim the house. Take, +for instance, that minaret business on the west; I picked that up from a +mosque in Algiers. The oriel just this side is whole cloth from Haddon +Hall, and the galleried porch next it from a Florentine villa. The +conical capped tower I got from a French chateau, and some of the +features on the south from a Buddhist temple in Japan. Only a little +blending and grouping was necessary, and Willis calls himself an +architect, and wasn't equal to it. Now," he added, "get the effect. Did +you ever see another house like it?" + +"Magnificent!" exclaimed the Celebrity. + +"And then," my client continued, warming under this generous +appreciation, "there's something very smart about those colors. They're +my racing colors. Of course the granite's a little off, but it isn't +prominent. Willis kicked hard when it came to painting the oriel yellow, +but an architect always takes it for granted he knows it all, and a--" + +"Fenelon," said Mrs. Cooke, "luncheon is waiting." + +Mrs. Cooke dominated at luncheon and retired, and it is certain that both +Mr. Cooke and the Celebrity breathed more freely when she had gone. If +her criticisms on the exterior of the house were just, those on the +interior were more so. Not only did I find the coat-of-arms set forth on +the chairs, fire-screens, and other prominent articles, but it was even +cut into the swinging door of the butler's pantry. The motto I am afraid +my client never took the trouble to have translated, and I am inclined to +think his jewellers put up a little joke on him when they chose it. +"Be Sober and Boast not." + +I observed that Mrs. Cooke, when she chose, could exert the subduing +effect on her husband of a soft pedal on a piano; and during luncheon she +kept, the soft pedal on. And the Celebrity, being in some degree a +kindred spirit, was also held in check. But his wife had no sooner left +the room when Mr. Cooke began on the subject uppermost in his mind. I +had suspected that his trip to Asquith that morning was for a purpose at +which Mrs. Cooke had hinted. But she, with a woman's tact, had aimed to +accomplish by degrees that which her husband would carry by storm. + +"You've been at Asquith sometime, Crocker," Mr. Cooke began, "long enough +to know the people." + +"I know some of them," I said guardedly. But the rush was not to be +stemmed. + +"How many do you think you can muster for that entertainment of mine? +Fifty? I ought to have fifty, at least. Suppose you pick out fifty, and +send me up the names. I want good lively ones, you understand, that will +stir things up." + +"I am afraid there are not fifty of that kind there," I replied. + +His face fell, but brightened again instantly. He appealed to the +Celebrity. + +"How about it, old man?" said he. + +The Celebrity answered, with becoming modesty, that the Asquithians were +benighted. They had never had any one to show them how to enjoy life. +But there was hope for them. + +"That's it," exclaimed my client, slapping his thigh, and turning +triumphantly to me, he continued, "You're all right, Crocker, and know +enough to win a damned big suit, but you're not the man to steer a +delicate thing of this kind." + +This is how, to my infinite relief, the Celebrity came to engineer the +matter of the housewarming; and to him it was much more congenial. He +accepted the task cheerfully, and went about it in such a manner as to +leave no doubt in my mind as to its ultimate success. He was a master +hand at just such problems, and this one had a double attraction. It +pleased him to be thought the arbiter of such a worthy cause, while he +acquired a prominence at Asquith which satisfied in some part a craving +which he found inseparable from incognito. + +His tactics were worthy of a skilled diplomatist. Before we left Mohair +that day he had exacted as a condition that Mr. Cooke should not appear +at the inn or in its vicinity until after the entertainment. To this my +client readily pledged himself with that absolute freedom from suspicion +which formed one of the most admirable traits of his character. The +Celebrity, being intuitively quick where women were concerned, had +surmised that Mrs. Cooke did not like him; but as her interests in the +affair of the cotillon coincided with those of Mr. Cooke, she was +available as a means to an end. The Celebrity deemed her, from a social +standpoint, decidedly the better part of the Mohair establishment, and he +contrived, by a system of manoeuvres I failed to grasp, to throw her +forward while he kept Mr. Cooke in the background. + +He had much to contend with; above all, an antecedent prejudice against +the Cookes, in reality a prejudice against the world, the flesh, and the +devil, natural to any quiet community, and of which Mohair and its +appurtenances were taken as the outward and visible signs. Older people +came to Asquith for simplicity and rest, and the younger ones were +brought there for these things. Nearly all had sufficient wealth to +seek, if they chose, gayety and ostentation at the eastern resorts. But +Asquithians held gayety and ostentation at a discount, and maintained +there was gayety enough at home. + +If any one were fitted to overcome this prejudice, it was Mrs. Cooke. +Her tastes and manners were as simple as her gowns. The Celebrity, by +arts unknown, induced Mrs. Judge Short and two other ladies to call at +Mohair on a certain afternoon when Mr. Cooke was trying a trotter on the +track. The three returned wondering and charmed with Mrs. Cooke; they +were sure she had had no hand in the furnishing of that atrocious house. +Their example was followed by others at a time when the master of Mohair +was superintending in person the docking of some two-year-olds, and +equally invisible. These ladies likewise came back to sing Mrs. Cooke's +praises. Mrs. Cooke returned the calls. She took tea on the inn +veranda, and drove Mrs. Short around Mohair in her victoria. +Mr. Cooke being seen only on rare and fleeting occasions, there gradually +got abroad a most curious misconception of that gentleman's character, +while over his personality floated a mist of legend which the Celebrity +took good care not to dispel. Farrar, who despised nonsense, was +ironical and non-committal when appealed to, and certainly I betrayed +none of my client's attributes. Hence it came that Asquith, before the +house-warming, knew as little about Farquhar Fenelon Cooke, the man, as +the nineteenth century knows about William Shakespeare, and was every +whit as curious. Like Shakespeare, Mr. Cooke was judged by his works, +and from these he was generally conceded to be an illiterate and +indifferent person of barbarous tastes and a mania for horses. He was +further described as ungentlemanly by a brace of spinsters who had been +within earshot on the veranda the morning he had abused the Asquith +roads, but their evidence was not looked upon as damning. That Mr. Cooke +would appear at the cotillon never entered any one's head. + +Thus it was, for a fortnight, Mr. Cooke maintained a most rigid +seclusion. Would that he had discovered in the shroud of mystery the +cloak of fame! + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +A man's character often give the lie to his tongue +Appearance of a professional pallbearer +Architects should be driven and not followed +Consequential or inconsequential irrespective of their size +Impervious to hints, and would not take no for an answer + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE CELEBRITY, V1, BY CHURCHILL *** + +********** This file should be named wc46w10.txt or wc46w10.zip ********** + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, wc46w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, wc46w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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