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diff --git a/5379.txt b/5379.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4e05854 --- /dev/null +++ b/5379.txt @@ -0,0 +1,2598 @@ +Project Gutenberg's A Modern Chronicle, Volume 6, by Winston Churchill + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Modern Chronicle, Volume 6 + +Author: Winston Churchill + +Release Date: October 19, 2004 [EBook #5379] +[Last updated. July 16, 2011] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MODERN CHRONICLE, VOLUME 6 *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +A MODERN CHRONICLE + +By Winston Churchill + + +Volume 6. + + + +CHAPTER VI + +CLIO, OR THALIA? + +According to the ordinary and inaccurate method of measuring time, a +fortnight may have gone by since the event last narrated, and Honora had +tasted at last the joys of authorship. Her name was not to appear, to be +sure, on the cover of the Life and Letters of General Angus Chiltern; nor +indeed, so far, had she written so much as a chapter or a page of a work +intended to inspire young and old with the virtues of citizenship. At +present the biography was in the crucial constructive stage. Should the +letters be put in one volume, and the life in another? or should the +letters be inserted in the text of the life? or could not there be a +third and judicious mixture of both of these methods? Honora's counsel on +this and other problems was, it seems, invaluable. Her own table was +fairly littered with biographies more or less famous which had been +fetched from the library, and the method of each considered. + +Even as Mr. Garrick would never have been taken for an actor in his coach +and four, so our heroine did not in the least resemble George Eliot, for +instance, as she sat before her mirror at high noon with Monsieur Cadron +and her maid Mathilde in worshipful attendance. Some of the ladies, +indeed, who have left us those chatty memoirs of the days before the +guillotine, she might have been likened to. Monsieur Cadron was an +artist, and his branch of art was hair-dressing. It was by his own wish +he was here to-day, since he had conceived a new coiffure especially +adapted, he declared, to the type of Madame Spence. Behold him declaring +ecstatically that seldom in his experience had he had such hairs to work +with. + +"Avec une telle chevelure, l'on peut tout faire, madame. Etre simple, +c'est le comble de l'art. Ca vous donne," he added, with clasped hands +and a step backward, "ca vous donne tout a fait l'air d'une dame de +Nattier." + +Madame took the hand-glass, and did not deny that she was eblouissante. +If madame, suggested Monsieur Cadron, had but a little dress a la Marie +Antoinette? Madame had, cried madame's maid, running to fetch one with +little pink flowers and green leaves on an ecru ground. Could any +coiffure or any gown be more appropriate for an entertainment at which +Clio was to preside? + +It is obviously impossible that a masterpiece should be executed under +the rules laid down by convention. It would never be finished. Mr. +Chiltern was coming to lunch, and it was not the first time. On her +appearance in the doorway he halted abruptly in his pacing of the +drawing-room, and stared at her. + +"I'm sorry I kept you waiting," she said. + +"It was worth it," he said. And they entered the dining room. A subdued, +golden-green light came in through the tall glass doors that opened out +on the little garden which had been Mrs. Forsythe's pride. The scent of +roses was in the air, and a mass of them filled a silver bowl in the +middle of the table. On the dark walls were Mrs. Forsythe's precious +prints, and above the mantel a portrait of a thin, aristocratic gentleman +who resembled the poet Tennyson. In the noonday shadows of a recess was a +dark mahogany sideboard loaded with softly gleaming silver--Honora's. +Chiltern sat down facing her. He looked at Honora over the roses,--and +she looked at him. A sense of unreality that was, paradoxically, stronger +than reality itself came over her, a sense of fitness, of harmony. And +for the moment an imagination, ever straining at its leash, was allowed +to soar. It was Chiltern who broke the silence. + +"What a wonderful bowl!" he said. + +"It has been in my father's family a great many years. He was very fond +of it," she answered, and with a sudden, impulsive movement she reached +over and set the bowl aside. + +"That's better," he declared, "much as I admire the bowl, and the roses." + +She coloured faintly, and smiled. The feast of reason that we are +impatiently awaiting is deferred. It were best to attempt to record the +intangible things; the golden-green light, the perfumes, and the faint +musical laughter which we can hear if we listen. Thalia's laughter, +surely, not Clio's. Thalia, enamoured with such a theme, has taken the +stage herself--and as Vesta, goddess of hearths. It was Vesta whom they +felt to be presiding. They lingered, therefore, over the coffee, and +Chiltern lighted a cigar. He did not smoke cigarettes. + +"I've lived long enough," he said, "to know that I have never lived at +all. There is only one thing in life worth having." + +"What is it?" asked Honora. + +"This," he answered, with a gesture; "when it is permanent." + +She smiled. + +"And how is one to know whether it would be--permanent?" + +"Through experience and failure," he answered quickly, "we learn to +distinguish the reality when it comes. It is unmistakable." + +"Suppose it comes too late?" she said, forgetting the ancient verse +inscribed in her youthful diary: "Those who walk on ice will slide +against their wills." + +"To admit that is to be a coward," he declared. + +"Such a philosophy may be fitting for a man," she replied, "but for a +woman--" + +"We are no longer in the dark ages," he interrupted. "Every one, man or +woman, has the right to happiness. There is no reason why we should +suffer all our lives for a mistake." + +"A mistake!" she echoed. + +"Certainly," he said. "It is all a matter of luck, or fate, or whatever +you choose to call it. Do you suppose, if I could have found fifteen +years ago the woman to have made me happy, I should have spent so much +time in seeking distraction?" + +"Perhaps you could not have been capable of appreciating her--fifteen +years ago," suggested Honora. And, lest he might misconstrue her remark, +she avoided his eyes. + +"Perhaps," he admitted. "But suppose I have found her now, when I know +the value of things." + +"Suppose you should find her now--within a reasonable time. What would +you do?" + +"Marry her," he exclaimed promptly. "Marry her and take her to Grenoble, +and live the life my father lived before me." + +She did not reply, but rose, and he followed her to the shaded corner of +the porch where they usually sat. The bundle of yellow-stained envelopes +he had brought were lying on the table, and Honora picked them up +mechanically. + +"I have been thinking," she said as she removed the elastics, "that it is +a mistake to begin a biography by the enumeration of one's ancestors. +Readers become frightfully bored before they get through the first +chapter." + +"I'm beginning to believe," he laughed, "that you will have to write this +one alone. All the ideas I have got so far have been yours. Why shouldn't +you write it, and I arrange the material, and talk about it! That appears +to be all I'm good for." + +If she allowed her mind to dwell on the vista he thus presented, she did +not betray herself. + +"Another thing," she said, "it should be written like fiction." + +"Like fiction?" + +"Fact should be written like fiction, and fiction like fact. It's +difficult to express what I mean. But this life of your father deserves +to be widely known, and it should be entertainingly done, like Lockhart, +or Parton's works--" + +An envelope fell to the floor, spilling its contents. Among them were +several photographs. + +"Oh," she exclaimed, "how beautiful! What place is this?" + +"I hadn't gone over these letters," he answered. "I only got them +yesterday from Cecil Grainger. These are some pictures of Grenoble which +must leave been taken shortly before my father died." + +She gazed in silence at the old house half hidden by great maples and +beeches, their weighted branches sweeping the ground. The building was of +wood, painted white, and through an archway of verdure one saw the +generous doorway with its circular steps, with its fan-light above, and +its windows at the side. Other quaint windows, some of them of triple +width, suggested an interior of mystery and interest. + +"My great-great-grandfather, Alexander Chiltern, built it," he said, "on +land granted to him before the Revolution. Of course the house has been +added to since then, but the simplicity of the original has always been +kept. My father put on the conservatory, for instance," and Chiltern +pointed to a portion at the end of one of the long low wings. "He got the +idea from the orangery of a Georgian house in England, and an English +architect designed it." + +Honora took up the other photographs. One of them, over which she +lingered, was of a charming, old-fashioned garden spattered with +sunlight, and shut out from the world by a high brick wall. Behind the +wall, again, were the dense masses of the trees, and at the end of a path +between nodding foxgloves and Canterbury bells, in a curved recess, a +stone seat. + +She turned her face. His was at her shoulder. + +"How could you ever have left it?" she asked reproachfully. + +She voiced his own regrets, which the crowding memories had awakened. + +"I don't know," he answered, not without emotion. "I have often asked +myself that question." He crossed over to the railing of the porch, swung +about, and looked at her. Her eyes were still on the picture. "I can +imagine you in that garden," he said. + +Did the garden cast the spell by which she saw herself on the seat? or +was it Chiltern's voice? She would indeed love and cherish it. And was it +true that she belonged there, securely infolded within those peaceful +walls? How marvellously well was Thalia playing her comedy! Which was the +real, and which the false? What of true value, what of peace and security +was contained in her present existence? She had missed the meaning of +things, and suddenly it was held up before her, in a garden. + +A later hour found them in Honora's runabout wandering northward along +quiet country roads on the eastern side of the island. Chiltern, who was +driving, seemed to take no thought of their direction, until at last, +with an exclamation, he stopped the horse; and Honora beheld an abandoned +mansion of a bygone age sheltered by ancient trees, with wide lands +beside it sloping to the water. + +"What is it?" she asked. + +"Beaulieu," he replied. "It was built in the seventeenth century, I +believe, and must have been a fascinating place in colonial days." He +drove in between the fences and tied the horse, and came around by the +side of the runabout. "Won't you get out and look at it?" + +She hesitated, and their eyes met as he held out his hand, but she +avoided it and leaped quickly to the ground neither spoke as they walked +around the deserted house and gazed at the quaint facade, broken by a +crumbling, shaded balcony let in above the entrance door. No sound broke +the stillness of the summer's day--a pregnant stillness. The air was +heavy with perfumes, and the leaves formed a tracery against the +marvellous blue of the sky. Mystery brooded in the place. Here, in this +remote paradise now in ruins, people had dwelt and loved. Thought ended +there; and feeling, which is unformed thought, began. Again she glanced +at him, and again their eyes met, and hers faltered. They turned, as with +one consent, down the path toward the distant water. Paradise overgrown! +Could it be reconstructed, redeemed? + +In former days the ground they trod had been a pleasance the width of the +house, bordered, doubtless, by the forest. Trees grew out of the flower +beds now, and underbrush choked the paths. The box itself, that once +primly lined the alleys, was gnarled and shapeless. Labyrinth had +replaced order, nature had reaped her vengeance. At length, in the +deepening shade, they came, at what had been the edge of the old terrace, +to the daintiest of summer-houses, crumbling too, the shutters off their +hinges, the floor-boards loose. Past and gone were the idyls of which it +had been the stage. + +They turned to the left, through tangled box that wound hither and +thither, until they stopped at a stone wall bordering a tree-arched lane. +At the bottom of the lane was a glimpse of blue water. + +Honora sat down on the wall with her back to a great trunk. Chiltern, +with a hand on the stones, leaped over lightly, and stood for some +moments in the lane, his feet a little apart and firmly planted, his +hands behind his back. + +What had Thalia been about to allow the message of that morning to creep +into her comedy? a message announcing the coming of an intruder not in +the play, in the person of a husband bearing gifts. What right had he, in +the eternal essence of things, to return? He was out of all time and +place. Such had been her feeling when she had first read the hastily +written letter, but even when she had burned it it had risen again from +the ashes. Anything but that! In trying not to think of it, she had +picked up the newspaper, learned of a railroad accident,--and shuddered. +Anything but his return! Her marriage was a sin,--there could be no +sacrament in it. She would flee first, and abandon all rather than submit +to it. + +Chiltern's step aroused her now. He came back to the wall where she was +sitting, and faced her. + +"You are sad," he said. + +She shook her head at him, slowly, and tried to smile. + +"What has happened?" he demanded rudely. "I can't bear to see you sad." + +"I am going away," she said. The decision had suddenly come to her. Why +had she not seen before that it was inevitable? + +He seized her wrist as it lay on the wall, and she winced from the sudden +pain of his grip. + +"Honora, I love you," he said, "I must have you--I will have you. I will +make you happy. I promise it on my soul. I can't, I won't live without +you." + +She did not listen to his words--she could not have repeated them +afterwards. The very tone of his voice was changed by passion; creation +spoke through him, and she heard and thrilled and swayed and soared, +forgetting heaven and earth and hell as he seized her in his arms and +covered her face with kisses. Thus Eric the Red might have wooed. And by +what grace she spoke the word that delivered her she never knew. As +suddenly as he had seized her he released her, and she stood before him +with flaming cheeks and painful breath. + +"I love you," he said, "I love you. I have searched the world for you and +found you, and by all the laws of God you are mine." + +And love was written in her eyes. He had but to read it there, though her +lips might deny it. This was the man of all men she would have chosen, +and she was his by right of conquest. Yet she held up her hand with a +gesture of entreaty. + +"No, Hugh--it cannot be," she said. + +"Cannot!" he cried. "I will take you. You love me." + +"I am married." + +"Married! Do you mean that you would let that man stand between you and +happiness?" + +"What do you mean?" she asked, in a frightened voice. + +"Just what I say," he cried, with incredible vehemence. "Leave him +--divorce him. You cannot live with him. He isn't worthy to touch your +hand." + +The idea planted itself with the force of a barbed arrow from a +strong-bow. Struggle as she might, she could not henceforth extract it. + +"Oh!" she cried. + +He took her arm, gently, and forced her to sit down on the wall. Such was +the completeness of his mastery that she did not resist. He sat down +beside her. + +"Listen, Honora," he said, and tried to speak calmly, though his voice +was still vibrant; "let us look the situation in the face. As I told you +once, the days of useless martyrdom are past. The world is more +enlightened today, and recognizes an individual right to happiness." + +"To happiness," she repeated after him, like a child. He forgot his words +as he looked into her eyes: they were lighted as with all the candles of +heaven in his honour. + +"Listen," he said hoarsely, and his fingers tightened on her arm. + +The current running through her from him made her his instrument. Did he +say the sky was black, she would have exclaimed at the discovery. + +"Yes--I am listening." + +"Honora!" + +"Hugh," she answered, and blinded him. He was possessed by the tragic +fear that she was acting a dream; presently she would awake--and shatter +the universe. His dominance was too complete. + +"I love you--I respect you. You are making it very hard for me. Please +try to understand what I am saying," he cried almost fiercely. "This +thing, this miracle, has happened in spite of us. Henceforth you belong +to me--do you hear?" + +Once more the candles flared up. + +"We cannot drift. We must decide now upon some definite action. Our lives +are our own, to make as we choose. You said you were going away. And you +meant--alone?" + +The eyes were wide, now, with fright. + +"Oh, I must--I must," she said. "Don't--don't talk about it." And she put +forth a hand over his. + +"I will talk about it," he declared, trembling. "I have thought it all +out," and this time it was her fingers that tightened. "You are going +away. And presently--when you are free--I will come to you." + +For a moment the current stopped. + +"No, no!" she cried, almost in terror. The first fatalist must have been +a woman, and the vision of rent prison bars drove her mad. "No, we could +never be happy." + +"We can--we will be happy," he said, with a conviction that was unshaken. +"Do you hear me? I will not debase what I have to say by resorting to +comparisons. But--others I know have been happy are happy, though their +happiness cannot be spoken of with ours. Listen. You will go away--for a +little while--and afterwards we shall be together for all time. Nothing +shall separate us: We never have known life, either of us, until now. I, +missing you, have run after the false gods. And you--I say it with +truth-needed me. We will go to live at Grenoble, as my father and mother +lived. We will take up their duties there. And if it seems possible, I +will go into public life. When I return, I shall find you--waiting for +me--in the garden." + +So real had the mirage become, that Honora did not answer. The desert and +its journey fell away. Could such a thing, after all, be possible? Did +fate deal twice to those whom she had made novices? The mirage, indeed, +suddenly became reality--a mirage only because she had proclaimed it +such. She had beheld in it, as he spoke, a Grenoble which was paradise +regained. And why should paradise regained be a paradox? Why paradise +regained? Paradise gained. She had never known it, until he had flung +wide the gates. She had sought for it, and never found it until now, and +her senses doubted it. It was a paradise of love, to be sure; but one, +too, of duty. Duty made it real. Work was there, and fulfilment of the +purpose of life itself. And if his days hitherto had been useless, hers +had in truth been barren. + +It was only of late, after a life-long groping, that she had discovered +their barrenness. The right to happiness! Could she begin anew, and found +it upon a rock? And was he the rock? + +The question startled her, and she drew away from him first her hand, and +then she turned her body, staring at him with widened eyes. He did not +resist the movement; nor could he, being male, divine what was passing +within her, though he watched her anxiously. She had no thought of the +first days,--but afterwards. For at such times it is the woman who scans +the veil of the future. How long would that beacon burn which flamed now +in such prodigal waste? Would not the very springs of it dry up? She +looked at him, and she saw the Viking. But the Viking had fled from the +world, and they--they would be going into it. Could love prevail against +its dangers and pitfalls and--duties? Love was the word that rang out, as +one calling through the garden, and her thoughts ran molten. Let love +overflow--she gloried in the waste! And let the lean years come,--she +defied them to-day. + +"Oh, Hugh!" she faltered. + +"My dearest!" he cried, and would have seized her in his arms again but +for a look of supplication. That he had in him this innate and +unsuspected chivalry filled her with an exquisite sweetness. + +"You will--protect me?" she asked. + +"With my life and with my honour," he answered. "Honora, there will be no +happiness like ours." + +"I wish I knew," she sighed: and then, her look returning from the veil, +rested on him with a tenderness that was inexpressible. "I--I don't care, +Hugh. I trust you." + +The sun was setting. Slowly they went back together through the paths of +the tangled garden, which had doubtless seen many dramas, and the courses +changed of many lives: overgrown and outworn now, yet love was loth to +leave it. Honora paused on the lawn before the house, and looked back at +him over her shoulder. + +"How happy we could have been here, in those days," she sighed. + +"We will be happier there," he said. + +Honora loved. Many times in her life had she believed herself to have had +this sensation, and yet had known nothing of these aches and ecstasies! +Her mortal body, unattended, went out to dinner that evening. Never, it +is said, was her success more pronounced. The charm of Randolph +Leffingwell, which had fascinated the nobility of three kingdoms, had +descended on her, and hostesses had discovered that she possessed the +magic touch necessary to make a dinner complete. Her quality, as we know, +was not wit: it was something as old as the world, as new as modern +psychology. It was, in short, the power to stimulate. She infused a sense +of well-being; and ordinary people, in her presence, surprised themselves +by saying clever things. + +Lord Ayllington, a lean, hard-riding gentleman, who was supposed to be on +the verge of contracting an alliance with the eldest of the Grenfell +girls, regretted that Mrs. Spence was neither unmarried nor an heiress. + +"You know," he said to Cecil Grainger, who happened to be gracing his +wife's dinner-party, "she's the sort of woman for whom a man might +consent to live in Venice." + +"And she's the sort of woman," replied, "a man couldn't get to go to +Venice." + +Lord Ayllington's sigh was a proof of an intimate knowledge of the world. + +"I suppose not," he said. "It's always so. And there are few American +women who would throw everything overboard for a grand passion." + +"You ought to see her on the beach," Mr. Grainger suggested. + +"I intend to," said Ayllington. "By the way, not a few of your American +women get divorced, and keep their cake and eat it, too. It's a bit +difficult, here at Newport, for a stranger, you know." + +"I'm willing to bet," declared Mr. Grainger, "that it doesn't pay. When +you're divorced and married again you've got to keep up appearances--the +first time you don't. Some of these people are working pretty hard." + +Whereupon, for the Englishman's enlightenment, he recounted a little +gossip. + +This, of course, was in the smoking room. In the drawing-room, Mrs. +Grainger's cousin did not escape, and the biography was the subject of +laughter. + +"You see something of him, I hear," remarked Mrs. Playfair, a lady the +deficiency of whose neck was supplied by jewels, and whose conversation +sounded like liquid coming out of an inverted bottle. "Is he really +serious about the biography?" + +"You'll have to ask Mr. Grainger," replied Honora. + +"Hugh ought to marry," Mrs. Grenfell observed. + +"Why did he come back?" inquired another who had just returned from a +prolonged residence abroad. "Was there a woman in the case?" + +"Put it in the plural, and you'll be nearer right," laughed Mrs. +Grenfell, and added to Honora, "You'd best take care, my dear, he's +dangerous." + +Honora seemed to be looking down on them from a great height, and to +Reginald Farwell alone is due the discovery of this altitude; his +reputation for astuteness, after that evening, was secure. He had sat +next her, and had merely put two and two together--an operation that is +probably at the root of most prophecies. More than once that summer Mr. +Farwell had taken sketches down Honora's lane, for she was on what was +known as his list of advisers: a sheepfold of ewes, some one had called +it, and he was always piqued when one of them went astray. In addition to +this, intuition told him that he had taken the name of a deity in +vain--and that deity was Chiltern. These reflections resulted in another +after-dinner conversation to which we are not supposed to listen. + +He found Jerry Shorter in a receptive mood, and drew him into Cecil +Grainger's study, where this latter gentleman, when awake, carried on his +lifework of keeping a record of prize winners. + +"I believe there is something between Mrs. Spence and Hugh Chiltern, +after all, Jerry," he said. + +"By jinks, you don't say so!" exclaimed Mr. Shorter, who had a profound +respect for his friend's diagnoses in these matters. "She was dazzling +to-night, and her eyes were like stars. I passed her in the hall just +now, and I might as well have been in Halifax." + +"She fairly withered me when I made a little fun of Chiltern," declared +Farwell. + +"I tell you what it is, Reggie," remarked Mr. Shorter, with more +frankness than tact, "you could talk architecture with 'em from now to +Christmas, and nothing'd happen, but it would take an iceberg to write a +book with Hugh and see him alone six days out of seven. Chiltern knocks +women into a cocked hat. I've seen 'em stark raving crazy. Why, there was +that Mrs. Slicer six or seven years ago--you remember--that Cecil +Grainger had such a deuce of a time with. And there was Mrs. Dutton--I +was a committee to see her, when the old General was alive,--to say +nothing about a good many women you and I know." + +Mr. Farwell nodded. + +"I'm confoundedly sorry if it's so," Mr. Shorter continued, with +sincerity. "She has a brilliant future ahead of her. She's got good blood +in her, she's stunning to look at, and she's made her own way in spite of +that Billycock of a husband who talks like the original Rothschild. By +the bye, Wing is using him for a good thing. He's sent him out West to +pull that street railway chestnut out of the fire. I'm not particularly +squeamish, Reggie, though I try to play the game straight myself--the way +my father played it. But by the lord Harry, I can't see the difference +between Dick Turpin and Wing and Trixy Brent. It's hold and deliver with +those fellows. But if the police get anybody, their get Spence." + +"The police never get anybody," said Farwell, pessimistically; for the +change of topic bored him. + +"No, I suppose they don't," answered Mr. Shorter, cheerfully finishing +his chartreuse, and fixing his eye on one of the coloured lithographs of +lean horses on Cecil Grainger's wall. "I'd talk to Hugh, if I wasn't as +much afraid of him as of Jim Jeffries. I don't want to see him ruin her +career." + +"Why should an affair with him ruin it?" asked Farwell, unexpectedly. +"There was Constance Witherspoon. I understand that went pretty far." + +"My dear boy," said Mr. Shorter, "it's the women. Bessie Grainger here, +for instance--she'd go right up in the air. And the women had--well, a +childhood-interest in Constance. Self-preservation is the first law--of +women." + +"They say Hugh has changed--that he wants to settle down," said Farwell. + +"If you'd ever gone to church, Reggie," said Mr. Shorter, "you'd know +something about the limitations of the leopard." + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +"LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS" + +That night was Honora's soul played upon by the unknown musician of the +sleepless hours. Now a mad, ecstatic chorus dinned in her ears and set +her blood coursing; and again despair seized her with a dirge. Periods of +semiconsciousness only came to her, and from one of these she was +suddenly startled into wakefulness by her own words. "I have the right to +make of my life what I can." But when she beheld the road of terrors that +stretched between her and the shining places, it seemed as though she +would never have the courage to fare forth along its way. To look back +was to survey a prospect even more dreadful. + +The incidents of her life ranged by in procession. Not in natural +sequence, but a group here and a group there. And it was given her, for +the first time, to see many things clearly. But now she loved. God alone +knew what she felt for this man, and when she thought of him the very +perils of her path were dwarfed. On returning home that night she had +given her maid her cloak, and had stood for a long time immobile,--gazing +at her image in the pierglass. + +"Madame est belle comme l'Imperatrice d'Autriche!" said the maid at +length. + +"Am I really beautiful, Mathilde?" + +Mathilde raised her eyes and hands to heaven in a gesture that admitted +no doubt. Mathilde, moreover, could read a certain kind of history if the +print were large enough. + +Honora looked in the glass again. Yes, she was beautiful. He had found +her so, he had told her so. And here was the testimony of her own eyes. +The bloom on the nectarines that came every morning from Mr. Chamberlin's +greenhouse could not compare with the colour of her cheeks; her hair was +like the dusk; her eyes like the blue pools among the rocks, and touched +now by the sun; her neck and arms of the whiteness of sea-foam. It was +meet that she should be thus for him and for the love he brought her. + +She turned suddenly to the maid. + +"Do you love me, Mathilde?" she asked. + +Mathilde was not surprised. She was, on the contrary, profoundly touched. + +"How can madame ask?" she cried impulsively, and seized Honora's hand. +How was it possible to be near madame, and not love her? + +"And would you go--anywhere with me?" + +The scene came back to her in the night watches. For the little maid had +wept and vowed eternal fidelity. + +It was not--until the first faint herald of the morning that Honora could +bring herself to pronounce the fateful thing that stood between her and +happiness, that threatened to mar the perfection of a heaven-born love +--Divorce! And thus, having named it resolutely several times, the demon +of salvation began gradually to assume a kindly aspect that at times +became almost benign. In fact, this one was not a demon at all, but a +liberator: the demon, she perceived, stalked behind him, and his name was +Notoriety. It was he who would flay her for coquetting with the +liberator. + +What if she were flayed? Once married to Chiltern, once embarked upon +that life of usefulness, once firmly established on ground of her own +tilling, and she was immune. And this led her to a consideration of those +she knew who had been flayed. They were not few, and a surfeit of +publicity is a sufficient reason for not enumerating them here. And +during this process of exorcism Notoriety became a bogey, too: he had +been powerless to hurt them. It must be true what Chiltern had said that +the world was changing. The tragic and the ridiculous here joining hands, +she remembered that Reggie Farwell had told her that he had recently made +a trip to western New York to inspect a house he had built for a +"remarried" couple who were not wholly unknown. The dove-cote, he had +called it. The man, in his former marriage, had been renowned all up and +down tidewater as a rake and a brute, and now it was an exception when he +did not have at least one baby on his knee. And he knew, according to Mr. +Farwell, more about infant diet than the whole staff of a maternity +hospital. + +At length, as she stared into the darkness, dissolution came upon it. The +sills of her windows outlined themselves, and a blurred foliage was +sketched into the frame. With a problem but half solved the day had +surprised her. She marvelled to see that it grew apace, and presently +arose to look out upon a stillness like that of eternity: in the grey +light the very leaves seemed to be holding their breath in expectancy of +the thing that was to come. Presently the drooping roses raised their +heads, from pearl to silver grew the light, and comparison ended. The +reds were aflame, the greens resplendent, the lawn sewn with the diamonds +of the dew. + +A little travelling table was beside the window, and Honora took her pen +and wrote. + + "My dearest, above all created things I love you. Morning has come, + and it seems to me that I have travelled far since last I saw you. + I have come to a new place, which is neither hell nor heaven, and in + the mystery of it you--you alone are real. It is to your strength + that I cling, and I know that you will not fail me. + + "Since I saw you, Hugh, I have been through the Valley of the + Shadow. I have thought of many things. One truth alone is clear-- + that I love you transcendently.. You have touched and awakened me + into life. I walk in a world unknown. + + "There is the glory of martyrdom in this message I send you now. + You must not come to me again until I send for you. I cannot, I + will not trust myself or you. I will keep this love which has come + to me undefiled. It has brought with it to me a new spirit, a + spirit with a scorn for things base and mean. Though it were my + last chance in life, I would not see you if you came. If I thought + you would not understand what I feel, I could not love you as I do. + + "I will write to you again, when I see my way more clearly. I told + you in the garden before you spoke that I was going away. Do not + seek to know my plans. For the sake of the years to come, obey me. + + "HONORA." + +She reread the letter, and sealed it. A new and different exaltation had +come to her--begotten, perhaps, in the act of writing. A new courage +filled her, and now she contemplated the ordeal with a tranquillity that +surprised her. The disorder and chaos of the night were passed, and she +welcomed the coming day, and those that were to follow it. As though the +fates were inclined to humour her impatience, there was a telegram on her +breakfast tray, dated at New York, and informing her that her husband +would be in Newport about the middle of the afternoon. His western trip +was finished a day earlier than he expected. Honora rang her bell. + +"Mathilde, I am going away." + +"Oui, madame." + +"And I should like you to go with me." + +"Oui, madame." + +"It is only fair that you should understand, Mathilde. I am going away +alone. I am not--coming back." + +The maid's eyes filled with sudden tears. + +"Oh, madame," she cried, in a burst of loyalty, "if madame will permit me +to stay with her!" + +Honora was troubled, but her strange calmness did not forsake her. The +morning was spent in packing, which was a simple matter. She took only +such things as she needed, and left her dinner-gowns hanging in the +closets. A few precious books of her own she chose, but the jewellery her +husband had given her was put in boxes and laid upon the dressing-table. +In one of these boxes was her wedding ring. When luncheon was over, an +astonished and perturbed butler packed the Leffingwell silver and sent it +off to storage. + +There had been but one interruption in Honora's labours. A note had +arrived--from him--a note and a box. He would obey her! She had known he +would understand, and respect her the more. What would their love have +been, without that respect? She shuddered to think. And he sent her this +ring, as a token of that love, as undying as the fire in its stones. +Would she wear it, that in her absence she might think of him? Honora +kissed it and slipped it on her finger, where it sparkled. The letter was +beneath her gown, though she knew it by heart. Chiltern had gone at last: +he could not, he said, remain in Newport and not see her. + +At midday she made but the pretence of a meal. It was not until +afterwards, in wandering through the lower rooms of this house, become so +dear to her, that agitation seized her, and a desire to weep. What was +she leaving so precipitately? and whither going? The world indeed was +wide, and these rooms had been her home. The day had grown blue-grey, and +in the dining room the gentle face seemed to look down upon her +compassionately from the portrait. The scent of the roses overpowered +her. As she listened, no sound brake the quiet of the place. + +Would Howard never come? The train was in--had been in ten minutes. Hark, +the sound of wheels! Her heart beating wildly, she ran to the windows of +the drawing-room and peered through the lilacs. Yes, there he was, +ascending the steps. + +"Mrs. Spence is out, I suppose," she heard him say to the butler, who +followed with his bag. + +"No, sir, she's is the drawing-room." + +The sight of him, with his air of satisfaction and importance, proved an +unexpected tonic to her strength. It was as though he had brought into +the room, marshalled behind him, all the horrors of her marriage, and she +marvelled and shuddered anew at the thought of the years of that +sufferance. + +"Well, I'm back," he said, "and we've made a great killing, as I wrote +you. They were easier than I expected." + +He came forward for the usual perfunctory kiss, but she recoiled, and it +was then that his eye seemed to grasp the significance of her travelling +suit and veil, and he glanced at her face. + +"What's up? Where are you going?" he demanded. "Has anything happened?" + +"Everything," she said, and it was then, suddenly, that she felt the +store of her resolution begin to ebb, and she trembled. "Howard, I am +going away." + +He stopped short, and thrust his hands into the pockets of his checked +trousers. + +"Going away," he repeated. "Where?" + +"I don't know," said Honora; "I'm going away." + +As though to cap the climax of tragedy, he smiled as he produced his +cigarette case. And she was swept, as it were, by a scarlet flame that +deprived her for the moment of speech. + +"Well," he said complacently, "there's no accounting for women. A case of +nerves--eh, Honora? Been hitting the pace a little too hard, I guess." He +lighted a match, blissfully unaware of the quality of her look. "All of +us have to get toned up once in a while. I need it myself. I've had to +drink a case of Scotch whiskey out West to get this deal through. Now +what's the name of that new boat with everything on her from a cafe to a +Stock Exchange? A German name." + +"I don't know," said Honora. She had answered automatically. + +To the imminent peril of one of the frailest of Mrs. Forsythe's chairs, +he sat down on it, placed his hands on his knees, flung back his head, +and blew the smoke towards the ceiling. Still she stared at him, as in a +state of semi-hypnosis. + +"Instead of going off to one of those thousand-dollar-a-minute doctors, +let me prescribe for you," he said. "I've handled some nervous men in my +time, and I guess nervous women aren't much different. You've had these +little attacks before, and they blow over--don't they? Wing owes me a +vacation. If I do say it myself, there are not five men in New York who +would have pulled off this deal for him. Now the proposition I was going +to make to you is this: that we get cosey in a cabin de luxe on that +German boat, hire an automobile on the other side, and do up Europe. It's +a sort of a handicap never to have been over there." + +"Oh, you're making it very hard for me, Howard," she cried. "I might have +known that you couldn't understand, that you never could understand--why +I am going away. I've lived with you all this time, and you do not know +me any better than you know--the scrub-woman. I'm going away from +you--forever." + +In spite of herself, she ended with an uncontrollable sob. + +"Forever!" he repeated, but he continued to smoke and to look at her +without any evidences of emotion, very much as though he had received an +ultimatum in a business transaction. And then there crept into his +expression something of a complacent pity that braced her to continue. +"Why?" he asked. + +"Because--because I don't love you. Because you don't love me. You don't +know what love is--you never will." + +"But we're married," he said. "We get along all right." + +"Oh, can't you see that that makes it all the worse!" she cried. "I can +stand it no longer. I can't live with you--I won't live with you. I'm of +no use to you--you're sufficient unto yourself. It was all a frightful +mistake. I brought nothing into your life, and I take nothing out of it. +We are strangers--we have always been so. I am not even your housekeeper. +Your whole interest in life is in your business, and you come home to +read the newspapers and to sleep! Home! The very word is a mockery. If +you had to choose between me and your business you wouldn't hesitate an +instant. And I--I have been starved. It isn't your fault, perhaps, that +you don't understand that a woman needs something more than dinner-gowns +and jewels and--and trips abroad. Her only possible compensation for +living with a man is love. Love--and you haven't the faintest conception +of it. It isn't your fault, perhaps. It's my fault for marrying you. I +didn't know any better." + +She paused with her breast heaving. He rose and walked over to the +fireplace and flicked his ashes into it before he spoke. His calmness +maddened her. + +"Why didn't you say something about this before?" he asked. + +"Because I didn't know it--I didn't realize it--until now." + +"When you married me," he went on, "you had an idea that you were going +to live in a house on Fifth Avenue with a ballroom, didn't you?" + +"Yes," said Honora. "I do not say I am not to blame. I was a fool. My +standards were false. In spite of the fact that my aunt and uncle are the +most unworldly people that ever lived--perhaps because of it--I knew +nothing of the values of life. I have but one thing to say in my defence. +I thought I loved you, and that you could give me--what every woman +needs." + +"You were never satisfied from the first," he retorted. "You wanted money +and position--a mania with American women. I've made a success that few +men of my age can duplicate. And even now you are not satisfied when I +come back to tell you that I have money enough to snap my fingers at half +these people you know." + +"How," asked Honora, "how did you make it?" + +"What do you mean?" he asked. + +She turned away from him with a gesture of weariness. + +"No, you wouldn't understand that, either, Howard." + +It was not until then that he showed feeling. + +"Somebody has been talking to you about this deal. I'm not surprised. A +lot of these people are angry because we didn't let them in. What have +they been saying?" he demanded. + +Her eyes flashed. + +"Nobody has spoken to me on the subject," she said. "I only know what I +have read, and what you have told me. In the first place, you deceived +the stockholders of these railways into believing their property was +worthless, and in the second place, you intend to sell it to the public +for much more than it is worth." + +At first he stared at her in surprise. Then he laughed. + +"By George, you'd make something of a financier yourself, Honora," he +exclaimed. And seeing that she did not answer, continued: "Well, you've +got it about right, only it's easier said than done. It takes brains. +That's what business is--a survival of the fittest. If you don't do the +other man, he'll do you." He opened the cigarette case once more. "And +now," he said, "let me give you a little piece of advice. It's a good +motto for a woman not to meddle with what doesn't concern her. It isn't +her business to make the money, but to spend it; and she can usually do +that to the queen's taste." + +"A high ideal?" she exclaimed. + +"You ought to have some notion of where that ideal came from," he +retorted. "You were all for getting rich, in order to compete with these +people. Now you've got what you want--" + +"And I am going to throw it away. That is like a woman, isn't it?" + +He glanced at her, and then at his watch. + +"See here, Honora, I ought to go over to Mr. Wing's. I wired him I'd be +there at four-thirty." + +"Don't let me keep you," she replied. + +"By gad, you are pale!" he said. "What's got into the women these days? +They never used to have these confounded nerves. Well, if you are bent on +it, I suppose there's no use trying to stop you. Go off somewhere and +take a rest, and when you come back you'll see things differently." + +She held out her hand. + +"Good-by, Howard," she said. "I wanted you to know that I didn't--bear +you any ill-will--that I blame myself as much as you. More, if anything. +I hope you will be happy--I know you will. But I must ask you to believe +me when I say that I shan't come back. I--I am leaving all the valuable +things you gave me. You will find them on my dressing-table. And I wanted +to tell you that my uncle sent me a little legacy from my father-an +unexpected one--that makes me independent." + +He did not take her hand, but was staring at her now, incredulously. + +"You mean you are actually going?" he exclaimed. + +"Yes." + +"But--what shall I say to Mr. Wing? What will he think?" + +Despite the ache in her heart, she smiled. + +"Does it make any difference what Mr. Wing thinks?" she asked gently. +"Need he know? Isn't this a matter which concerns us alone? I shall go +off, and after a certain time people will understand that I am not coming +back." + +"But--have you considered that it may interfere with my prospects?" he +asked. + +"Why should it? You are invaluable to Mr. Wing. He can't afford to +dispense with your services just because you will be divorced. That would +be ridiculous. Some of his own associates are divorced." + +"Divorced!" he cried, and she saw that he had grown pasty white. "On what +grounds? Have you been--" + +He did not finish. + +"No," she said, "you need fear no scandal. There will be nothing in any +way harmful to your--prospects." + +"What can I do?" he said, though more to himself than to her. Her quick +ear detected in his voice a note of relief. And yet, he struck in her, +standing helplessly smoking in the middle of the floor, chords of pity. + +"You can do nothing, Howard," she said. "If you lived with me from now to +the millennium you couldn't make me love you, nor could you love me--the +way I must be loved. Try to realize it. The wrench is what you dread. +After it is over you will be much more contented, much happier, than you +have been with me. Believe me." + +His next remark astonished her. + +"What's the use of being so damned precipitate?" he demanded. + +"Precipitate!" + +"Because I can stand it no longer. I should go mad," she answered. + +He took a turn up and down the room, stopped suddenly, and stared at her +with eyes that had grown smaller. Suspicion is slow to seize the +complacent. Was it possible that he had been supplanted? + +Honora, with an instinct of what was coming, held up her head. Had he +been angry, had he been a man, how much humiliation he would have spared +her! + +"So you're in love!" he said. "I might have known that something was at +the bottom of this." + +She took account of and quivered at the many meanings behind his speech +--meanings which he was too cowardly to voice in words. + +"Yes," she answered, "I am in love--in love as I never hoped to be--as I +did not think it possible to be. My love is such that I would go through +hell fire for the sake of it. I do not expect you to believe me when I +tell you that such is not the reason why I am leaving you. If you had +loved me with the least spark of passion, if I thought I were in the +least bit needful to you as a woman and as a soul, as a helper and a +confidante, instead of a mere puppet to advertise your prosperity, this +would not--could not--have happened. I love a man who would give up the +world for me to-morrow. I have but one life to live, and I am going to +find happiness if I can." + +She paused, afire with an eloquence that had come unsought. But her +husband only stared at her. She was transformed beyond his recognition. +Surely he had not married this woman! And, if the truth be told, down in +his secret soul whispered a small, congratulatory voice. Although he did +not yet fully realize it, he was glad he had not. + +Honora, with an involuntary movement, pressed her handkerchief to her +eyes. + +"Good-by, Howard," she said. "I--I did not expect you to understand. If I +had stayed, I should have made you miserably unhappy." + +He took her hand in a dazed manner, as though he knew not in the least +what he was doing. He muttered something and found speech impossible. He +gulped once, uncomfortably. The English language had ceased to be a +medium. Great is the force of habit! In the emergency he reached for his +cigarette case. + +Honora had given orders that the carriage was to wait at the door. The +servants might suspect, but that was all. Her maid had been discreet. She +drew down her veil as she descended the steps, and told the coachman to +drive to the station. + +It was raining. Leaning forward from under the hood as the horses +started, she took her last look at the lilacs. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +IN WHICH THE LAW BETRAYS A HEART + +It was still raining when she got into a carriage at Boston and drove +under the elevated tracks, through the narrow, slippery business streets, +to the hotel. From the windows of her room, as the night fell, she looked +out across the dripping foliage of the Common. Below her, and robbed from +that sacred ground, were the little granite buildings that housed the +entrances to the subway, and for a long time she stood watching the +people crowding into these. Most of them had homes to go to! In the +gathering gloom the arc-lights shone, casting yellow streaks on the +glistening pavement; wagons and carriages plunged into the maelstrom at +the corner; pedestrians dodged and slipped; lightnings flashed from +overhead wires, and clanging trolley cars pushed their greater bulk +through the mass. And presently the higher toned and more ominous bell of +an ambulance sounded on its way to the scene of an accident. + +It was Mathilde who ordered her dinner and pressed her to eat. But she +had no heart for food. In her bright sitting-room, with the shades +tightly drawn, an inexpressible loneliness assailed her. A large +engraving of a picture of a sentimental school hung on the wall: she +could not bear to look at it, and yet her eyes, from time to time, were +fatally drawn thither. It was of a young girl taking leave of her lover, +in early Christian times, before entering the arena. It haunted Honora, +and wrought upon her imagination to such a pitch that she went into her +bedroom to write. + +For a long time nothing more was written of the letter than "Dear Uncle +Tom and Aunt Mary": what to say to them? + + "I do not know what you will think of me. I do not know, to-night, + what to think of myself. I have left Howard. It is not because he + was cruel to me, or untrue. He does not love me, nor I him. I + cannot expect you, who have known the happiness of marriage, to + realize the tortures of it without love. My pain in telling you + this now is all the greater because I realize your belief as to the + sacredness of the tie--and it is not your fault that you did not + instil that belief into me. I have had to live and to think and to + suffer for myself. I do not attempt to account for my action, and I + hesitate to lay the blame upon the modern conditions and atmosphere + in which I lived; for I feel that, above all things, I must be + honest with myself. + + "My marriage with Howard was a frightful mistake, and I have grown + slowly to realize it, until life with him became insupportable. + Since he does not love me, since his one interest is his business, + my departure makes no great difference to him. + + "Dear Aunt Mary and Uncle Tom, I realize that I owe you much + --everything that I am. I do not expect you to understand or to + condone what I have done. I only beg that you will continue to + --love your niece, + + "HONORA." + +She tried to review this letter. Incoherent though it were and +incomplete, in her present state of mind she was able to add but a few +words as a postscript. "I will write you my plans in a day or two, when I +see my way more clearly. I would fly to you--but I cannot. I am going to +get a divorce." + +She sat for a time picturing the scene in the sitting-room when they +should read it, and a longing which was almost irresistible seized her to +go back to that shelter. One force alone held her in misery where she +was,--her love for Chiltern; it drew her on to suffer the horrors of +exile and publicity. When she suffered most, his image rose before her, +and she kissed the ring on her hand. Where was he now, on this rainy +night? On the seas? + +At the thought she heard again the fog-horns and the sirens. + +Her sleep was fitful. Many times she went over again her talk with +Howard, and she surprised herself by wondering what he had thought and +felt since her departure. And ever and anon she was startled out of +chimerical dreams by the clamour of bells-the trolley cars on their +ceaseless round passing below. At last came the slumber of exhaustion. + +It was nine o'clock when she awoke and faced the distasteful task she had +set herself for the day. In her predicament she descended to the office, +where the face of one of the clerks attracted her, and she waited until +he was unoccupied. + +"I should like you to tell me--the name of some reputable lawyer," she +said. + +"Certainly, Mrs. Spence," he replied, and Honora was startled at the +sound of her name. She might have realized that he would know her. "I +suppose a young lawyer would do--if the matter is not very important." + +"Oh, no!" she cried, blushing to her temples. "A young lawyer would do +very well." + +The clerk reflected. He glanced at Honora again; and later in the day she +divined what had been going on in his mind. + +"Well," he said, "there are a great many. I happen to think of Mr. +Wentworth, because he was in the hotel this morning. He is in the Tremont +Building." + +She thanked him hurriedly, and was driven to the Tremont Building, +through the soggy street that faced the still dripping trees of the +Common. Mounting in the elevator, she read on the glass door amongst the +names of the four members of the firm that of Alden Wentworth, and +suddenly found herself face to face with the young man, in his private +office. He was well groomed and deeply tanned, and he rose to meet her +with a smile that revealed a line of perfect white teeth. + +"How do you do, Mrs. Spence?" he said. "I did not think, when I met you +at Mrs. Grenfell's, that I should see you so soon in Boston. Won't you +sit down?" + +Honora sat down. There seemed nothing else to do. She remembered him +perfectly now, and she realized that the nimble-witted clerk had meant to +send her to a gentleman. + +"I thought," she faltered, "I thought I was coming to a--a stranger. They +gave me your address at the hotel--when I asked for a lawyer." + +"Perhaps," suggested Mr. Wentworth, delicately, "perhaps you would prefer +to go to some one else. I can give you any number of addresses, if you +like." + +She looked up at him gratefully. He seemed very human and understanding, +--very honourable. He belonged to her generation, after all, and she +feared an older man. + +"If you will be kind enough to listen to me, I think I will stay here. It +is only a matter of--of knowledge of the law." She looked at him again, +and the pathos of her smile went straight to his heart. For Mr. Wentworth +possessed that organ, although he did not wear it on his sleeve. + +He crossed the room, closed the door, and sat down beside her. + +"Anything I can do," he said. + +She glanced at him once more, helplessly. + +"I do not know how to tell you," she began. "It all seems so dreadful." +She paused, but he had the lawyer's gift of silence--of sympathetic +silence. "I want to get a divorce from my husband." + +If Mr. Wentworth was surprised, he concealed it admirably. His attitude +of sympathy did not change, but he managed to ask her, in a business-like +tone which she welcomed:--"On what grounds?" + +"I was going to ask you that question," said Honora. + +This time Mr. Wentworth was surprised--genuinely so, and he showed it. + +"But, my dear Mrs. Spence," he protested, "you must remember that--that I +know nothing of the case." + +"What are the grounds one can get divorced on?" she asked. + +He coloured a little under his tan. + +"They are different in different states," he replied. "I think--perhaps +--the best way would be to read you the Massachusetts statutes." + +"No--wait a moment," she said. "It's very simple, after all, what I have +to tell you. I don't love my husband, and he doesn't love me, and it has +become torture to live together. I have left him with his knowledge and +consent, and he understands that I will get a divorce." + +Mr. Wentworth appeared to be pondering--perhaps not wholly on the legal +aspects of the case thus naively presented. Whatever may have been his +private comments, they were hidden. He pronounced tentatively, and a +little absently, the word "desertion." + +"If the case could possibly be construed as desertion on your husband's +part, you could probably get a divorce in three years in Massachusetts." + +"Three years!" cried Honora, appalled. "I could never wait three years!" + +She did not remark the young lawyer's smile, which revealed a greater +knowledge of the world than one would have suspected. He said nothing, +however. + +"Three years!" she repeated. "Why, it can't be, Mr. Wentworth. There are +the Waterfords--she was Mrs. Boutwell, you remember. And--and Mrs. +Rindge--it was scarcely a year before--" + +He had the grace to nod gravely, and to pretend not to notice the +confusion in which she halted. Lawyers, even young ones with white teeth +and clear eyes, are apt to be a little cynical. He had doubtless seen +from the beginning that there was a man in the background. It was not his +business to comment or to preach. + +"Some of the western states grant divorces on--on much easier terms," he +said politely. "If you care to wait, I will go into our library and look +up the laws of those states." + +"I wish you would," answered Honora. "I don't think I could bear to spend +three years in such--in such an anomalous condition. And at any rate I +should much rather go West, out of sight, and have it all as quickly over +with as possible." + +He bowed, and departed on his quest. And Honora waited, at moments +growing hot at the recollection of her conversation with him. Why--she +asked herself should the law make it so difficult, and subject her to +such humiliation in a course which she felt to be right and natural and +noble? Finally, her thoughts becoming too painful, she got up and looked +out of the window. And far below her, through the mist, she beheld the +burying-ground of Boston's illustrious dead which her cabman had pointed +out to her as he passed. She did not hear the door open as Mr. Wentworth +returned, and she started at the sound of his voice. + +"I take it for granted that you are really serious in this matter, Mrs. +Spence," he said. + +"Oh!" she exclaimed. + +"And that you have thoroughly reflected," he continued imperturbably. +Evidently, in spite of the cold impartiality of the law, a New England +conscience had assailed him in the library. "I cannot take er--the +responsibility of advising you as to a course of action. You have asked +me the laws of certain western states as to divorce I will read them." + +An office boy followed him, deposited several volumes on the taule, and +Mr. Wentworth read from them in a voice magnificently judicial. + +"There's not much choice, is there?" she faltered, when he had finished. + +He smiled. + +"As places of residence--" he began, in an attempt to relieve the pathos. + +"Oh, I didn't mean that," she cried. "Exile is--is exile." She flushed. +After a few moments of hesitation she named at random a state the laws of +which required a six months' residence. She contemplated him. "I hardly +dare to ask you to give me the name of some reputable lawyer out there." + +He had looked for an instant into her eyes. Men of the law are not +invulnerable, particularly at Mr. Wentworth's age, and New England +consciences to the contrary notwithstanding. In spite of himself, her +eyes had made him a partisan: an accomplice, he told himself afterwards. + +"Really, Mrs. Spence," he began, and caught another appealing look. He +remembered the husband now, and a lecture on finance in the Grenfell +smoking room which Howard Spence had delivered, and which had grated on +Boston sensibility. "It is only right to tell you that our firm does +not--does not--take divorce cases--as a rule. Not that we are taking this +one," he added hurriedly. "But as a friend--" + +"Oh, thank you!" said Honora. + +"Merely as a friend who would be glad to do you a service," he continued, +"I will, during the day, try to get you the name of--of as reputable a +lawyer as possible in that place." + +And Mr. Wentworth paused, as red as though he had asked her to marry him. + +"How good of you!" she cried. "I shall be at the Touraine until this +evening." + +He escorted her through the corridor, bowed her into the elevator, and +her spirits had risen perceptibly as she got into her cab and returned to +the hotel. There, she studied railroad folders. One confidant was enough, +and she dared not even ask the head porter the way to a locality +where--it was well known--divorces were sold across a counter. And as she +worked over the intricacies of this problem the word her husband had +applied to her action recurred to her--precipitate. No doubt Mr. +Wentworth, too, had thought her precipitate. Nearly every important act +of her life had been precipitate. But she was conscious in this instance +of no regret. Delay, she felt, would have killed her. Let her exile begin +at once. + +She had scarcely finished luncheon when Mr. Wentworth was announced. For +reasons best known to himself he had come in person; and he handed her, +written on a card, the name of the Honourable David Beckwith. + +"I'll have to confess I don't know much about him, Mrs. Spence," he said, +"except that he has been in Congress, and is one of the prominent lawyers +of that state." + +The gift of enlisting sympathy and assistance was peculiarly Honora's. +And if some one had predicted that morning to Mr. Wentworth that before +nightfall he would not only have put a lady in distress on the highroad +to obtaining a western divorce (which he had hitherto looked upon as +disgraceful), but that likewise he would miss his train for Pride's +Crossing, buy the lady's tickets, and see her off at the South Station +for Chicago, he would have regarded the prophet as a lunatic. But that is +precisely what Mr. Wentworth did. And when, as her train pulled out, +Honora bade him goodby, she felt the tug at her heartstrings which comes +at parting with an old friend. + +"And anything I can do for you here in the East, while--while you are out +there, be sure to let me know," he said. + +She promised and waved at him from the platform as he stood motionless, +staring after her. Romance had spent a whole day in Boston! And with Mr. +Alden Wentworth, of all people! + +Fortunately for the sanity of the human race, the tension of grief is +variable. Honora, closed in her stateroom, eased herself that night by +writing a long, if somewhat undecipherable, letter to Chiltern; and was +able, the next day, to read the greater portion of a novel. It was only +when she arrived in Chicago, after nightfall, that loneliness again +assailed her. She was within nine hours--so the timetable said--of St. +Louis! Of all her trials, the homesickness which she experienced as she +drove through the deserted streets of the metropolis of the Middle West +was perhaps the worst. A great city on Sunday night! What traveller has +not felt the depressing effect of it? And, so far as the incoming +traveller is concerned, Chicago does not put her best foot forward. The +way from the station to the Auditorium Hotel was hacked and bruised--so +it seemed--by the cruel battle of trade. And she stared, in a kind of +fascination that increased the ache in her heart; at the ugliness and +cruelty of the twentieth century. + +To have imagination is unquestionably to possess a great capacity for +suffering, and Honora was paying the penalty for hers. It ran riot now. +The huge buildings towered like formless monsters against the blackness +of the sky under the sickly blue of the electric lights, across the +dirty, foot-scarred pavements, strange black human figures seemed to +wander aimlessly: an elevated train thundered overhead. And presently she +found herself the tenant of two rooms in that vast refuge of the +homeless, the modern hotel, where she sat until the small hours looking +down upon the myriad lights of the shore front, and out beyond them on +the black waters of an inland sea. + + ....................... + +From Newport to Salomon City, in a state not far from the Pacific tier, +is something of a transition in less than a week, though in modern life +we should be surprised at nothing. Limited trains are wonderful enough; +but what shall be said of the modern mind, that travels faster than +light? and much too fast for the pages of a chronicle. Martha Washington +and the good ladies of her acquaintance knew nothing about the upper +waters of the Missouri, and the words "for better, for worse, for richer, +for poorer" were not merely literature to them. + +'Nous avons change tout cela', although there are yet certain crudities +to be eliminated. In these enlightened times, if in one week a lady is +not entirely at home with husband number one, in the next week she may +have travelled in comparative comfort some two-thirds across a continent, +and be on the highroad to husband number two. Why travel? Why have to put +up with all this useless expense and worry and waste of time? Why not +have one's divorce sent, C.O.D., to one's door, or establish a new branch +of the Post-office Department? American enterprise has surely lagged in +this. + +Seated in a plush-covered rocking-chair that rocked on a track of its +own, and thus saved the yellow-and-red hotel carpet, the Honourable Dave +Beckwith patiently explained the vexatious process demanded by his +particular sovereign state before she should consent to cut the Gordian +knot of marriage. And his state--the Honourable Dave remarked--was in the +very forefront of enlightenment in this respect: practically all that she +demanded was that ladies in Mrs. Spence's predicament should become, pro +tempore, her citizens. Married misery did not exist in the Honourable +Dave's state, amongst her own bona fide citizens. And, by a wise +provision in the Constitution of our glorious American Union, no one +state could tie the nuptial knot so tight that another state could not +cut it at a blow. + +Six months' residence, and a whole year before the divorce could be +granted! Honora looked at the plush rocking-chair, the yellow-and-red +carpet, the inevitable ice-water on the marble-topped table, and the +picture of a lady the shape of a liqueur bottle playing tennis in the +late eighties, and sighed. For one who is sensitive to surroundings, that +room was a torture chamber. + +"But Mr. Beckwith," she exclaimed, "I never could spend a year here! +Isn't there a--house I could get that is a--a little--a little better +furnished? And then there is a certain publicity about staying at a +hotel." + +The Honourable Dave might have been justly called the friend of ladies in +a temporary condition of loneliness. His mission in life was not merely +that of a liberator, but his natural goodness led him to perform a +hundred acts of kindness to make as comfortable as possible the purgatory +of the unfortunates under his charge. He was a man of a remarkable +appearance, and not to be lightly forgotten. His hair, above all, +fascinated Honora, and she found her eyes continually returning to it. So +incredibly short it was, and so incredibly stiff, that it reminded her of +the needle points on the cylinder of an old-fashioned music-box; and she +wondered, if it were properly inserted, what would be the resultant +melody. + +The Honourable Dave's head was like a cannon-ball painted white. Across +the top of it (a blemish that would undoubtedly have spoiled the tune) +was a long scar,--a relic of one of the gentleman's many personal +difficulties. He who made the sear, Honora reflected, must have been a +strong man. The Honourable Dave, indeed, had fought his way upward +through life to the Congress of the United States; and many were the +harrowing tales of frontier life he told Honora in the long winter +evenings when the blizzards came down the river valley. They would fill a +book; unfortunately, not this book. The growing responsibilities of +taking care of the lonely ladies that came in increasing numbers to +Salomon City from the effeter portions of the continent had at length +compelled him to give up his congressional career. The Honourable Dave +was unmarried; and, he told Honora, not likely to become so. He was thus +at once human and invulnerable, a high priest dedicated to freedom. + +It is needless to say that the plush rocking-chair and the picture of the +liqueur-bottle lady did not jar on his sensibilities. Like an eminent +physician who has never himself experienced neurosis, the Honourable Dave +firmly believed that he understood the trouble from which his client was +suffering. He had seen many cases of it in ladies from the Atlantic +coast: the first had surprised him, no doubt. Salomon City, though it +contained the great Boon, was not esthetic. Being a keen student of human +nature, he rightly supposed that she would not care to join the colony, +but he thought it his duty to mention that there was a colony. + +Honora repeated the word. + +"Out there," he said, waving his cigar to the westward, "some of the +ladies have ranches." Some of the gentlemen, too, he added, for it +appeared that exiles were not confined to one sex. "It's social--a little +too social, I guess," declared Mr. Beckwith, "for you." A delicate +compliment of differentiation that Honora accepted gravely. "They've got +a casino, and they burn a good deal of electricity first and last. They +don't bother Salomon City much. Once in a while, in the winter, they come +in a bunch to the theatre. Soon as I looked at you I knew you wouldn't +want to go there." + +Her exclamation was sufficiently eloquent. + +"I've got just the thing for you," he said. "It looks a little as if I +was reaching out into the sanitarium business. Are you acquainted by any +chance with Mrs. Boutwell, who married a fellow named Waterford?" he +asked, taking momentarily out of his mouth the cigar he was smoking by +permission. + +Honora confessed, with no great enthusiasm, that she knew the present +Mrs. Waterford. Not the least of her tribulations had been to listen to a +partial recapitulation, by the Honourable Dave, of the ladies he had +assisted to a transfer of husbands. What, indeed, had these ladies to do +with her? She felt that the very mention of them tended to soil the pure +garments of her martyrdom. + +"What I was going to say was this," the Honourable Dave continued. "Mrs. +Boutwell--that is to say Mrs. Waterford--couldn't stand this hotel any +more than you, and she felt like you do about the colony, so she rented a +little house up on Wylie Street and furnished it from the East. I took +the furniture off her hands: it's still in the house, by the way, which +hasn't been rented. For I figured it out that another lady would be +coming along with the same notions. Now you can look at the house any +time you like." + +Although she had to overcome the distaste of its antecedents, the house, +or rather the furniture, was too much of a find in Salomon City to be +resisted. It had but six rooms, and was of wood, and painted grey, like +its twin beside it. But Mrs. Waterford had removed the stained-glass +window-lights in the front door, deftly hidden the highly ornamental +steam radiators, and made other eliminations and improvements, including +the white bookshelves that still contained the lady's winter reading +fifty or more yellow-and-green-backed French novels and plays. Honora's +first care, after taking possession, was to order her maid to remove +these from her sight: but it is to be feared that they found their way, +directly, to Mathilde's room. Honora would have liked to fumigate the +house; and yet, at the same time, she thanked her stars for it. Mr. +Beekwith obligingly found her a cook, and on Thursday evening she sat +down to supper in her tiny dining room. She had found a temporary haven, +at last. + +Suddenly she remembered that it was an anniversary. One week ago that +day, in the old garden at Beaulieu, had occurred the momentous event that +had changed the current of her life! + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +WYLIE STREET + +There was a little spindle-supported porch before Honora's front door, +and had she chosen she might have followed the example of her neighbours +and sat there in the evenings. She preferred to watch the life about her +from the window-seat in the little parlour. The word exile suggests, +perhaps, to those who have never tried it, empty wastes, isolation, +loneliness. She had been prepared for these things, and Wylie Street was +a shock to her: in sending her there at this crisis in her life fate had +perpetrated nothing less than a huge practical joke. Next door, for +instance, in the twin house to hers, flaunted in the face of liberal +divorce laws, was a young couple with five children. Honora counted them, +from the eldest ones that ran over her little grass plot on their way to +and from the public school, to the youngest that spent much of his time +gazing skyward from a perambulator on the sidewalk. Six days of the week, +about six o'clock in the evening, there was a celebration in the family. +Father came home from work! He was a smooth-faced young man whom a +fortnight in the woods might have helped wonderfully--a clerk in the big +department store. + +He radiated happiness. When opposite Honora's front door he would open +his arms--the signal for a race across her lawn. Sometimes it was the +little girl, with pigtails the colour of pulled molasses candy, who won +the prize of the first kiss: again it was her brother, a year her junior; +and when he was raised it was seen that the seat of his trousers was +obviously double. But each of the five received a reward, and the baby +was invariably lifted out of the perambulator. And finally there was a +conjugal kiss on the spindled porch. + +The wife was a roly-poly little body. In the mornings, at the side +windows, Honora heard her singing as she worked, and sometimes the sun +struck with a blinding flash the pan she was in the act of shining. And +one day she looked up and nodded and smiled. Strange indeed was the +effect upon our heroine of that greeting! It amazed Honora herself. A +strange current ran through her and left her hot, and even as she smiled +and nodded back, unbidden tears rose scalding to her eyes. What was it? +Why was it? + +She went downstairs to the little bookcase, filled now with volumes that +were not trash. For Hugh's sake, she would try to improve herself this +winter by reading serious things. But between her eyes and the book was +the little woman's smile. A month before, at Newport, how little she +would have valued it. + +One morning, as Honora was starting out for her lonely walk--that usually +led her to the bare clay banks of the great river--she ran across her +neighbour on the sidewalk. The little woman was settling the baby for his +airing, and she gave Honora the same dazzling smile. + +"Good morning, Mrs. Spence," she said. + +"Good morning," replied Honora, and in her strange confusion she leaned +over the carriage. "Oh, what a beautiful baby!" + +"Isn't he!" cried the little woman. "Of all of 'em, I think he's the +prize. His father says so. I guess," she added, "I guess it was because I +didn't know so much about 'em when they first began to come. You take my +word for it, the best way is to leave 'em alone. Don't dandle 'em. It's +hard to keep your hands off 'em, but it's right." + +"I'm sure of it," said Honora, who was very red. + +They made a strange contrast as they stood on that new street, with its +new vitrified brick paving and white stone curbs, and new little trees +set out in front of new little houses: Mrs. Mayo (for such, Honora's cook +had informed her, was her name) in a housekeeper's apron and a +shirtwaist, and Honora, almost a head taller, in a walking costume of +dark grey that would have done justice to Fifth Avenue. The admiration in +the little woman's eyes was undisguised. + +"You're getting a bill, I hear," she said, after a moment. + +"A bill?" repeated Honora. + +"A bill of divorce," explained Mrs. Mayo. + +Honora was conscious of conflicting emotions: astonishment, resentment, +and--most curiously--of relief that the little woman knew it. + +"Yes," she answered. + +But Mrs. Mayo did not appear to notice or resent her brevity. + +"I took a fancy to you the minute I saw you," she said. "I can't say as +much for the other Easterner that was here last year. But I made up my +mind that it must be a mighty mean man who would treat you badly." + +Honora stood as though rooted to the pavement. She found a reply +impossible. + +"When I think of my luck," her neighbour continued, "I'm almost ashamed. +We were married on fifteen dollars a week. Of course there have been +trials, we must always expect that; and we've had to work hard, but--it +hasn't hurt us." She paused and looked up at Honora, and added +contritely: "There! I shouldn't have said anything. It's mean of me to +talk of my happiness. I'll drop in some afternoon--if you'll let me +--when I get through my work," said the little woman. + +"I wish you would," replied Honora. + +She had much to think of on her walk that morning, and new resolutions to +make. Here was happiness growing and thriving, so far as she could see, +without any of that rarer nourishment she had once thought so necessary. +And she had come two thousand miles to behold it. + +She walked many miles, as a part of the regimen and discipline to which +she had set herself. Her haunting horror in this place, as she thought of +the colony of which Mr. Beckwith had spoken and of Mrs. Boutwell's row of +French novels, was degeneration. She was resolved to return to Chiltern a +better and a wiser and a truer woman, unstained by the ordeal. At the +outskirts of the town she halted by the river's bank, breathing deeply of +the pure air of the vast plains that surrounded her. + +She was seated that afternoon at her desk in the sitting-room upstairs +when she heard the tinkle of the door-bell, and remembered her +neighbour's promise to call. With something of a pang she pushed back her +chair. Since the episode of the morning, the friendship of the little +woman had grown to have a definite value; for it was no small thing, in +Honora's situation, to feel the presence of a warm heart next door. All +day she had been thinking of Mrs. Mayo and her strange happiness, and +longing to talk with her again, and dreading it. And while she was +bracing herself for the trial Mathilde entered with a card. + +"Tell Mrs. Mayo I shall be down in a minute," she said. + +It was not a lady, Mathilde replied, but a monsieur. + +Honora took the card. For a long time she sat staring at it, while +Mathilde waited. It read: + + Mr. Peter Erwin. + +"Madame will see monsieur?" + +A great sculptor once said to the statesman who was to be his model: +"Wear your old coat. There is as much of a man in the back of his old +coat, I think, as there is in his face." As Honora halted on the +threshold, Peter was standing looking out of the five-foot plate-glass +window, and his back was to her. + +She was suddenly stricken. Not since she had been a child, not even in +the weeks just passed, had she felt that pain. And as a child, self-pity +seized her--as a lost child, when darkness is setting in, and the will +fails and distance appalls. Scalding tears welled into her eyes as she +seized the frame of the door, but it must have been her breathing that he +heard. He turned and crossed the room to her as she had known he would, +and she clung to him as she had so often done in days gone by when, hurt +and bruised, he had rescued and soothed her. For the moment, the delusion +that his power was still limitless prevailed, and her faith whole again, +so many times had he mended a world all awry. + +He led her to the window-seat and gently disengaged her hands from his +shoulders and took one of them and held it between his own. He did not +speak, for his was a rare intuition; and gradually her hand ceased to +tremble, and the uncontrollable sobs that shook her became less frequent. + +"Why did you come? Why did you come?" she cried. + +"To see you, Honora." + +"But you might have--warned me." + +"Yes," he said, "it's true, I might." + +She drew her hand away, and gazed steadfastly at his face. + +"Why aren't you angry?" she said. "You don't believe in what I have +done--you don't sympathize with it--you don't understand it." + +"I have come here to try," he said. + +She shook her head. + +"You can't--you can't--you never could." + +"Perhaps," he answered, "it may not be so difficult as you think." + +Grown calmer, she considered this. What did he mean by it? to imply a +knowledge of herself? + +"It will be useless," she said inconsequently. + +"No," he said, "it will not be useless." + +She considered this also, and took the broader meaning that such acts are +not wasted. + +"What do you intend to try to do?" she asked. + +He smiled a little. + +"To listen to as much as you care to tell me, Honora." + +She looked at him again, and an errant thought slipped in between her +larger anxieties. Wherever he went, how extraordinarily he seemed to +harmonize with his surroundings. At Silverdale, and in the drawing-room +of the New York house, and in the little parlour in this far western +town. What was it? His permanence? Was it his power? She felt that, but +it was a strange kind of power--not like other men's. She felt, as she +sat there beside him, that his was a power more difficult to combat. That +to defeat it was at once to make it stronger, and to grow weaker. She +summoned her pride, she summoned her wrongs: she summoned the ego which +had winged its triumphant flight far above his kindly, disapproving eye. +He had the ability to make her taste defeat in the very hour of victory. +And she knew that, when she fell, he would be there in his strength to +lift her up. + +"Did--did they tell you to come?" she asked. + +"There was no question of that, Honora. I was away when--when they +learned you were here. As soon as I returned, I came." + +"Tell me how they feel," she said, in a low voice. + +"They think only of you. And the thought that you are unhappy overshadows +all others. They believe that it is to them you should have come, if you +were in trouble instead of coming here." + +"How could I?" she cried. "How can you ask? That is what makes it so +hard, that I cannot be with them now. But I should only have made them +still more unhappy, if I had gone. They would not have understood--they +cannot understand who have every reason to believe in marriage, why those +to whom it has been a mockery and a torture should be driven to divorce." + +"Why divorce?" he said. + +"Do you mean--do you mean that you wish me to give you the reasons why I +felt justified in leaving my husband?" + +"Not unless you care to," he replied. "I have no right to demand them. I +only ask you to remember, Honora, that you have not explained these +reasons very clearly in your letters to your aunt and uncle. They do not +understand them. Your uncle was unable, on many accounts, to come here; +and he thought that--that as an old friend, you might be willing to talk +to me." + +"I can't live with--with my husband," she cried. "I don't love him, and +he doesn't love me. He doesn't know what love is." + +Peter Erwin glanced at her, but she was too absorbed then to see the +thing in his eyes. He made no comment. + +"We haven't the same tastes, nor--nor the same way of looking at things +--the same views about making money--for instance. We became absolute +strangers. What more is there to say?" she added, a little defiantly. + +"Your husband committed no--flagrant offence against you?" he inquired. + +"That would have made him human, at least," she cried. "It would have +proved that he could feel--something. No, all he cares for in the world +is to make money, and he doesn't care how he makes it. No woman with an +atom of soul can live with a man like that." + +If Peter Erwin deemed this statement a trifle revolutionary, he did not +say so. + +"So you just--left him," he said. + +"Yes," said Honora. "He didn't care. He was rather relieved than +otherwise. If I had lived with him till I died, I couldn't have made him +happy." + +"You tried, and failed," said Peter. + +She flushed. + +"I couldn't have made him happier," she declared, correcting herself. "He +has no conception of what real happiness is. He thinks he is happy,-he +doesn't need me. He'll be much more--contented without me. I have nothing +against him. I was to blame for marrying him, I know. But I have only one +life to live, and I can't throw it away, Peter, I can't. And I can't +believe that a woman and a man were intended to live together without +love. It is too horrible. Surely that isn't your idea of marriage!" + +"My idea of marriage isn't worth very much, I'm afraid," he said. "If I +talked about it, I should have to confine myself to theories and--and +dreams." + +"The moment I saw your card, Peter, I knew why you had come here," she +said, trying to steady her voice. "It was to induce me to go back to my +husband. You don't know how it hurts me to give you pain. I love you--I +love you as I love Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary. You are a part of me. But oh, +you can't understand! I knew you could not. You have never made any +mistakes--you have never lived. It is useless. I won't go back to him. If +you stayed here for weeks you could not make me change my mind." + +He was silent. + +"You think that I could have prevented--this, if I had been less +selfish," she said. + +"Where you are concerned, Honora, I have but one desire," he answered, +"and that is to see you happy--in the best sense of the term. If I could +induce you to go back and give your husband another trial, I should +return with a lighter heart. You ask me whether I think you have been +selfish. I answer frankly that I think you have. I don't pretend to say +your husband has not been selfish also. Neither of you have ever tried, +apparently, to make your marriage a success. It can't be done without an +honest effort. You have abandoned the most serious and sacred enterprise +in the world as lightly as though it had been a piece of embroidery. All +that I can gather from your remarks is that you have left your husband +because you have grown tired of him." + +"Yes," said Honora, "and you can never realize how tired, unless you knew +him as I did. When love dies, it turns into hate." + +He rose, and walked to the other end of the room, and turned. + +"Could you be induced," he said, "for the sake of your aunt and uncle, if +not for your own, to consider a legal separation?" + +For an instant she stared at him hopelessly, and then she buried her face +in her hands. + +"No," she cried. "No, I couldn't. You don't know what you ask." + +He went to her, and laid his hand lightly on her shoulder. + +"I think I do," he said. + +There was a moment's tense silence, and then she got to her feet and +looked at him proudly. + +"Yes," she cried, "it is true. And I am not ashamed of it. I have +discovered what love is, and what life is, and I am going to take them +while I can." + +She saw the blood slowly leave his face, and his hands tighten. It was +not until then that she guessed at the depth of his wound, and knew that +it was unhealed. For him had been reserved this supreme irony, that he +should come here to plead for her husband and learn from her own lips +that she loved another man. She was suddenly filled with awe, though he +turned away from her that she might not see his face: And she sought in +vain for words. She touched his hand, fearfully, and now it was he who +trembled. + +"Peter," she exclaimed, "why do you bother with me? I--I am what I am. I +can't help it. I was made so. I cannot tell you that I am sorry for what +I have done--for what I am going to do. I will not lie to you--and you +forced me to speak. I know that you don't understand, and that I caused +you pain, and that I shall cause--them pain. It may be selfishness--I +don't know. God alone knows. Whatever it is, it is stronger than I. It is +what I am. Though I were to be thrown into eternal fire I would not +renounce it." + +She looked at him again, and her breath caught. While she had been +speaking, he had changed. There was a fire in his eyes she had never seen +before, in all the years she had known him. + +"Honora," he said quietly, "the man who has done this is a scoundrel." + +She stared at him, doubting her senses, her pupils wide with terror. + +"How dare you, Peter! How dare you!" she cried. + +"I dare to speak the truth," he said, and crossed the room to where his +hat was lying and picked it up. She watched him as in a trance. Then he +came back to her. + +"Some day, perhaps, you will forgive me for saying that, Honora. I hope +that day will come, although I shall never regret having said it. I have +caused you pain. Sometimes, it seems, pain is unavoidable. I hope you +will remember that, with the exception of your aunt and uncle, you have +no better friend than I. Nothing can alter that friendship, wherever you +go, whatever you do. Goodby." + +He caught her hand, held it for a moment in his own, and the door had +closed before she realized that he had gone. For a few moments she stood +motionless where he had left her, and then she went slowly up the stairs +to her own room . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE PRICE OF FREEDOM + +Had he, Hugh Chiltern, been anathematized from all the high pulpits of +the world, Honora's belief in him could not have been shaken. Ivanhoe and +the Knights of the Round Table to the contrary, there is no chivalry so +exalted as that of a woman who loves, no courage higher, no endurance +greater. Her knowledge is complete; and hers the supreme faith that is +unmoved by calumny and unbelief. She alone knows. The old Chiltern did +not belong to her: hers was the new man sprung undefiled from the sacred +fire of their love; and in that fire she, too, had been born again. +Peter--even Peter had no power to share such a faith, though what he had +said of Chiltern had wounded her--wounded her because Peter, of all +others, should misjudge and condemn him. Sometimes she drew consolation +from the thought that Peter had never seen him. But she knew he could not +understand him, or her, or what they had passed through: that kind of +understanding comes alone through experience. + +In the long days that followed she thought much about Peter, and failed +to comprehend her feelings towards him. She told herself that she ought +to hate him for what he had so cruelly said, and at times indeed her +resentment was akin to hatred: again, his face rose before her as she had +seen it when he had left her, and she was swept by an incomprehensible +wave of tenderness and reverence. And yet--paradox of paradoxes +--Chiltern possessed her! + +On the days when his letters came it was as his emissary that the sun +shone to give her light in darkness, and she went about the house with a +song on her lips. They were filled, these letters, with an elixir of +which she drank thirstily to behold visions, and the weariness of her +exile fell away. The elixir of High Purpose. Never was love on such a +plane! He lifting her,--no marvel in this; and she--by a magic power of +levitation at which she never ceased to wonder--sustaining him. By her +aid he would make something of himself which would be worthy of her. At +last he had the incentive to enable him to take his place in the world. +He pictured their future life at Grenoble until her heart was strained +with yearning for it to begin. Here would be duty,--let him who would +gainsay it, duty and love combined with a wondrous happiness. He at a +man's labour, she at a woman's; labour not for themselves alone, but for +others. A paradise such as never was heard of--a God-fearing paradise, +and the reward of courage. + +He told her he could not go to Grenoble now and begin the life without +her. Until that blessed time he would remain a wanderer, avoiding the +haunts of men. First he had cruised in the 'Folly, and then camped and +shot in Canada; and again, as winter drew on apace, had chartered another +yacht, a larger one, and sailed away for the West Indies, whence the +letters came, stamped in strange ports, and sometimes as many as five +together. He, too, was in exile until his regeneration should begin. + +Well he might be at such a time. One bright day in early winter Honora, +returning from her walk across the bleak plains in the hope of letters, +found newspapers and periodicals instead, addressed in an unknown hand. +It matters not whose hand: Honora never sought to know. She had long +regarded as inevitable this acutest phase of her martyrdom, and the long +nights of tears when entire paragraphs of the loathed stuff she had +burned ran ceaselessly in her mind. Would she had burned it before +reading it! An insensate curiosity had seized her, and she had read and +read again until it was beyond the reach of fire. + +Save for its effect upon Honora, it is immaterial to this chronicle. It +was merely the heaviest of her heavy payments for liberty. But what, she +asked herself shamefully, would be its effect upon Chiltern? Her face +burned that she should doubt his loyalty and love; and yet--the question +returned. There had been a sketch of Howard, dwelling upon the prominence +into which he had sprung through his connection with Mr. Wing. There had +been a sketch of her; and how she had taken what the writer was pleased +to call Society by storm: it had been intimated, with a cruelty known +only to writers of such paragraphs, that ambition to marry a Chiltern had +been her motive! There had been a sketch of Chiltern's career, in +carefully veiled but thoroughly comprehensible language, which might have +made a Bluebeard shudder. This, of course, she bore best of all; or, let +it be said rather, that it cost her the least suffering. Was it not she +who had changed and redeemed him? + +What tortured her most was the intimation that Chiltern's family +connections were bringing pressure to bear upon him to save him from this +supremest of all his follies. And when she thought of this the strange +eyes and baffling expression of Mrs. Grainger rose before her. Was it +true? And if true, would Chiltern resist, even as she, Honora, had +resisted, loyally? Might this love for her not be another of his mad +caprices? + +How Honora hated herself for the thought that thus insistently returned +at this period of snows and blasts! It was January. Had he seen the +newspapers? He had not, for he was cruising: he had, for of course they +had been sent him. And he must have received, from his relatives, +protesting letters. A fortnight passed, and her mail contained nothing +from him! Perhaps something had happened to his yacht! Visions of +shipwreck cause her to scan the newspapers for storms at sea,--but the +shipwreck that haunted her most was that of her happiness. How easy it is +to doubt in exile, with happiness so far away! One morning, when the wind +dashed the snow against her windows, she found it impossible to rise. + +If the big doctor suspected the cause of her illness, Mathilde knew it. +The maid tended her day and night, and sought, with the tact of her +nation, to console and reassure her. The little woman next door came and +sat by her bedside. Cruel and infinitely happy little woman, filled with +compassion, who brought delicacies in the making of which she had spent +precious hours, and which Honora could not eat! The Lord, when he had +made Mrs. Mayo, had mercifully withheld the gift of imagination. One +topic filled her, she lived to one end: her Alpha and Omega were husband +and children, and she talked continually of their goodness and badness, +of their illnesses, of their health, of their likes and dislikes, of +their accomplishments and defects, until one day a surprising thing +happened. Surprising for Mrs. Mayo. + +"Oh, don't!" cried Honora, suddenly. "Oh, don't! I can't bear it." + +"What is it?" cried Mrs. Mayo, frightened out of her wits. "A turn? Shall +I telephone for the doctor?" + +"No," relied Honora, "but--but I can't talk any more--to-day." + +She apologized on the morrow, as she held Mrs. Mayo's hand. "It--it was +your happiness," she said; "I was unstrung. I couldn't listen to it. +Forgive me." + +The little woman burst into tears, and kissed her as she sat in bed. + +"Forgive you, deary!" she cried. "I never thought." + +"It has been so easy for you," Honora faltered. + +"Yes, it has. I ought to thank God, and I do--every night." + +She looked long and earnestly, through her tears, at the young lady from +the far away East as she lay against the lace pillows, her paleness +enhanced by the pink gown, her dark hair in two great braids on her +shoulders. + +"And to think how pretty you are!" she exclaimed. + +It was thus she expressed her opinion of mankind in general, outside of +her own family circle. Once she had passionately desired beauty, the high +school and the story of Helen of Troy notwithstanding. Now she began to +look at it askance, as a fatal gift; and to pity, rather than envy, its +possessors. + +As a by-industry, Mrs. Mayo raised geraniums and carnations in her front +cellar, near the furnace, and once in a while Peggy, with the +pulled-molasses hair, or chubby Abraham Lincoln, would come puffing up +Honora's stairs under the weight of a flower-pot and deposit it +triumphantly on the table at Honora's bedside. Abraham Lincoln did not +object to being kissed: he had, at least, grown to accept the process as +one of the unaccountable mysteries of life. But something happened to him +one afternoon, on the occasion of his giving proof of an intellect which +may eventually bring him, in the footsteps of his great namesake, to the +White House. Entering Honora's front door, he saw on the hall table a +number of letters which the cook (not gifted with his brains) had left +there. He seized them in one fat hand, while with the other he hugged the +flower-pot to his breast, mounted the steps, and arrived, breathless but +radiant, on the threshold of the beautiful lady's room, and there +calamity overtook him in the shape of one of the thousand articles which +are left on the floor purposely to trip up little boys. + +Great was the disaster. Letters, geranium, pieces of flower-pot, a +quantity of black earth, and a howling Abraham Lincoln bestrewed the +floor. And similar episodes, in his brief experience with this world, had +not brought rewards. It was from sheer amazement that his tears ceased to +flow--amazement and lack of breath--for the beautiful lady sprang up and +seized him in her arms, and called Mathilde, who eventually brought a +white and gold box. And while Abraham sat consuming its contents in +ecstasy he suddenly realized that the beautiful lady had forgotten him. +She had picked up the letters, every one, and stood reading them with +parted lips and staring eyes. + +It was Mathilde who saved him from a violent illness, closing the box and +leading him downstairs, and whispered something incomprehensible in his +ear as she pointed him homeward. + +"Le vrai medecin--c'est toi, mon mignon." + +There was a reason why Chiltern's letters had not arrived, and great were +Honora's self-reproach and penitence. With a party of Englishmen he had +gone up into the interior of a Central American country to visit some +famous ruins. He sent her photographs of them, and of the Englishmen, and +of himself. Yes, he had seen the newspapers. If she had not seen them, +she was not to read them if they came to her. And if she had, she was to +remember that their love was too sacred to be soiled, and too perfect to +be troubled. As for himself, as she knew, he was a changed man, who +thought of his former life with loathing. She had made him clean, and +filled him with a new strength. + +The winter passed. The last snow melted on the little grass plot, which +changed by patches from brown to emerald green; and the children ran over +it again, and tracked it in the soft places, but Honora only smiled. +Warm, still days were interspersed between the windy ones, when the sky +was turquoise blue, when the very river banks were steeped in new +colours, when the distant, shadowy mountains became real. Liberty ran +riot within her. If he thought with loathing on his former life, so did +she. Only a year ago she had been penned up in a New York street in that +prison-house of her own making, hemmed in by surroundings which she had +now learned to detest from her soul. + +A few more penalties remained to be paid, and the heaviest of these was +her letter to her aunt and uncle. Even as they had accepted other things +in life, so had they accepted the hardest of all to bear--Honora's +divorce. A memorable letter her Uncle Tom had written her after Peter's +return to tell them that remonstrances were useless! She was their +daughter in all but name, and they would not forsake her. When she should +have obtained her divorce, she should go back to them. Their house, which +had been her home, should always remain so. Honora wept and pondered long +over that letter. Should she write and tell them the truth, as she had +told Peter? It was not because she was ashamed of the truth that she had +kept it from them throughout the winter: it was because she wished to +spare them as long as possible. Cruellest circumstance of all, that a +love so divine as hers should not be understood by them, and should cause +them infinite pain! + +The weeks and months slipped by. Their letters, after that first one, +were such as she had always received from them: accounts of the weather, +and of the doings of her friends at home. But now the time was at hand +when she must prepare them for her marriage with Chiltern; for they would +expect her in St. Louis, and she could not go there. And if she wrote +them, they might try to stop the marriage, or at least to delay it for +some years. + +Was it possible that a lingering doubt remained in her mind that to +postpone her happiness would perhaps be to lose it? In her exile she had +learned enough to know that a divorced woman is like a rudderless ship at +sea, at the mercy of wind and wave and current. She could not go back to +her life in St. Louis: her situation there would be unbearable: her +friends would not be the same friends. No, she had crossed her Rubicon +and destroyed the bridge deep within her she felt that delay would be +fatal, both to her and Chiltern. Long enough had the banner of their love +been trailed in the dust. + +Summer came again, with its anniversaries and its dragging, interminable +weeks: demoralizing summer, when Mrs. Mayo quite frankly appeared at her +side window in a dressing sacque, and Honora longed to do the same. But +time never stands absolutely still, and the day arrived when Mr. Beckwith +called in a carriage. Honora, with an audibly beating heart, got into it, +and they drove down town, past the department store where Mr. Mayo spent +his days, and new blocks of banks and business houses that flanked the +wide street, where the roaring and clanging of the ubiquitous trolley +cars resounded. + +Honora could not define her sensations--excitement and shame and fear and +hope and joy were so commingled. The colours of the red and yellow brick +had never been so brilliant in the sunshine. They stopped before the new +court-house and climbed the granite steps. In her sensitive state, Honora +thought that some of the people paused to look after them, and that some +were smiling. One woman, she thought, looked compassionate. Within, they +crossed the marble pavement, the Honourable Dave handed her into an +elevator, and when it stopped she followed him as in a dream to an +oak-panelled door marked with a legend she did not read. Within was an +office, with leather chairs, a large oak desk, a spittoon, and portraits +of grave legal gentlemen on the wall. + +"This is Judge Whitman's office," explained the Honourable Dave. "He'll +let you stay here until the case is called." + +"Is he the judge--before whom--the case is to be tried?" asked Honora. + +"He surely is," answered the Honourable Dave. "Whitman's a good friend of +mine. In fact, I may say, without exaggeration, I had something to do +with his election. Now you mustn't get flustered," he added. "It isn't +anything like as bad as goin' to the dentist. It don't amount to shucks, +as we used to say in Missouri." + +With these cheerful words of encouragement he slipped out of a side door +into what was evidently the court room, for Honora heard a droning. After +a long interval he reappeared and beckoned her with a crooked finger. She +arose and followed him into the court room. + +All was bustle and confusion there, and her counsel whispered that they +were breaking up for the day. The judge was stretching himself; several +men who must have been lawyers, and with whom Mr. Beckwith was exchanging +amenities behind the railing, were arranging their books and papers; some +of the people were leaving, and others talking in groups about the room. +The Honourable Dave whispered to the judge, a tall, lank, cadaverous +gentleman with iron-grey hair, who nodded. Honora was led forward. The +Honourable Dave, standing very close to the judge and some distance from +her, read in a low voice something that she could not catch--supposedly +the petition. It was all quite as vague to Honora as the trial of the +Jack of Hearts; the buzzing of the groups still continued around the +court room, and nobody appeared in the least interested. This was a +comfort, though it robbed the ceremony of all vestige of reality. It +seemed incredible that the majestic and awful Institution of the ages +could be dissolved with no smoke or fire, with such infinite +indifference, and so much spitting. What was the use of all the pomp and +circumstance and ceremony to tie the knot if it could be cut in the +routine of a day's business? + +The solemn fact that she was being put under oath meant nothing to her. +This, too, was slurred and mumbled. She found herself, trembling, +answering questions now from her counsel, now from the judge; and it is +to be doubted to this day whether either heard her answers. Most +convenient and considerate questions they were. When and where she was +married, how long she had lived with her husband, what happened when they +ceased to live together, and had he failed ever since to contribute to +her support? Mercifully, Mr. Beckwith was in the habit of coaching his +words beforehand. A reputable citizen of Salomon City was produced to +prove her residence, and somebody cried out something, not loudly, in +which she heard the name of Spence mentioned twice. The judge said, "Take +your decree," and picked up a roll of papers and walked away. Her knees +became weak, she looked around her dizzily, and beheld the triumphant +professional smile of the Honourable Dave Beckwith. + +"It didn't hurt much, did it?" he asked. "Allow me to congratulate you." + +"Is it--is it all over?" she said, quite dazed. + +"Just like that," he said. "You're free." + +"Free!" The word rang in her ears as she drove back to the little house +that had been her home. The Honourable Dave lifted his felt hat as he +handed her out of the carriage, and said he would call again in the +evening to see if he could do anything further for her. Mathilde, who had +been watching from the window, opened the door, and led her mistress into +the parlour. + +"It's--it's all over, Mathilde," she said. + +"Mon dieu, madame," said Mathilde, "c'est simple comme bonjour!" + + + + + +End of Project Gutenberg's A Modern Chronicle, Volume 6, by Winston Churchill + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A MODERN CHRONICLE, VOLUME 6 *** + +***** This file should be named 5379.txt or 5379.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/7/5379/ + +Produced by David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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